# What's your BFing age limit?



## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

no novels please, Just throw out a number.
I'm curious.









3yrs


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Clarify, please.

Do you mean to nurse your own child?

Or to witness?

For *anyone* to nurse?


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

I'll probably be done by the time I'm 42.

I'm not sure what my limit is. I was going to start pushing the issue when she turned 4, but then she quit on her own. She just asked to nurse shortly after her 5th birthday and I let her try.


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

um- i have not set a limit- when he's done....


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

by the way kellymom.com has lots of great info on extended bfing
em


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

c'mon to nurse your baby. How old of a baby would you nurse 2, 4, 6, 8, 10yrs? Just share your age limit







:


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

I do not think I would personally bf past 5- probally not past 4. Ds is only 12 months old so- .... I have not had to see how he is with it after he is walking even.
I really do not care to nurse him forever tho!!! HAHAHAHA! I have looked into the benifits and my response is till hes done and yes I do hope that it is before he is 5.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

c'mom to nurse your baby
Sorry, but lots of people *do* think that there should be one cut off for everyone.

For myself, I don't know yet. I know I haven't hit it yet (DD weaned at 50 months, has tried a few times since and is now 5). It tends to move as I get closer


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

I hope this did not come off bitchy. I do not mean to be. I just have had so many ff asking me when I will stop- or your STILL bfeeding! And he is not even 1 year old!


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

I just honestly don't know. Never thought I would still be nursing as her 4th birthday approaches. I'm just sticking at "never say never" now.


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

ok- did I scare you away- I am sorry. I really am. I do wonder how long ds will nurse- primarily because I can not stand the thought of having people criticize me when I know what I will be doing is right! I am very nervous about that! I know how he is now and it boobs for me all the time!! Whereever!!!!
So I do not know how I will handle it. We live in a small town and I have ran into very few bfing moms. VERY FEW! So I know it will be hard to be accepted without harsh criticism!
I know I will probally shy away once he gets a bit older and try to keep it at home only- even tho I know i should not have to.....
anyhow.....


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

Before I had my DD, I swore I would only BF till 12 months. Now that I have her... I'll wean when she weans, whenever that is.


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## LuvMy2Kidz (May 2, 2003)

I"d say around 5, school age. I could not imagine nursing my 4.5 y/o ds, but he self weaned around 2.5, and my dd just weaned amonth or so ago, also at 2.5.


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## melaniewb (Mar 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Emilie*
I hope this did not come off bitchy. I do not mean to be. I just have had so many ff asking me when I will stop- or your STILL bfeeding! And he is not even 1 year old!

I got that ALL THE TIME the closer DS got to one. And, then, once he hit one, they shut up. I guess I was officially a "weird-o" then, so they quit commenting.







:LOL

For what it's worth, I don't really know what my cut off would be. DS self-weaned at 15.5 months and I was pretty sad about it.


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

Don't say that.... I am having such a hard time with ds getting older- if he stopped feeding it would kill me.....


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## Gidget (Aug 31, 2002)

Not sure what my limit is, but my minimum is 2 years.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

six months :LOL no i'm KIDDING!!

seriously... around 4. my son is almost 4 and i can't imagine nursing a kid any more mature than he is. already he's showing awareness of sexuality and his own gender identity, and i personally think that's when breastfeeding should be cut off.

eta ~ ... and of course every kid is different. so that 4 years old for my son might be more like 5, or 3, in others.

Gidget, what if the child chooses to wean before then? would you go along with child-led weaning, or force the child to keep nursing until 2 years old?


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

I am not sure what age , my ds (he'll be 3 next month) will self-wean. I weaned my dd at 3 and a few months, which I regret. I would strongly discourage weaning before the age of two.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

I think 5 is my cut off, dd is almost 4 now and if it were not for medical reasons I would cut her off now because I've been getting that skin crawling leave my boobs alone feeling for a long time now







Of course it doesn't help that she's not a polite nurser and always seems to be beating up the boobs in some way even if accidentally which makes me have less then positive feelings about nursing her.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I have nursed two now for as long as I could and I start freaking out right around thier second birthday. Dd #1 was 22 months and weaned quite easily when I went back to work. I had a week of training that overlapped her bedtime (her last hold out for quite some time - at least 6 months) with my second I was ready long before her but she too was nursing only at naps and night time. When my milk dried up at 26 months she quit with absolutely no fanfare. shugged her shoulders, rolled over went to sleep. In the morning she checked for milk, made a grumpy face and said "get me drink mama, no milk mama" and scowled for a few days but got over it. This one will wean very easily. I had a horrible infection and had to all but wean her instantly. it truely sucked. she is so laid back that she never batted an eyelash about it and wasn't nessecarly intrestedin starting up again. she still nurses in the morning when she wakes up but would be just as happy to get and get breakfast. the milk is gone now so I feel it is only a matter of time before she decided it isn't worht the effort.

So Judging from my experiance with my other two, I would say right around two is my personal limit for how long I can nurse my child. not that I think that there is anything wrong with going longer but with both around the same time I started getting really antsy and resentful everytime they wanted to nurse or that I couldn't get them to sleep any other way, or that they felt entitled etc. . . . go figure.


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

im with klothos









And Satori- "I've been getting that skin crawling leave my boobs alone feeling..." Oh boy, Me too!!!







: And I know it sounds bad, cause my dd is only 21 mos.... BUT I cant help it...I get so touched out. AND dd is no gentle nurser either!!!


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

I' just now starting to realize I'm gonna be one of "those" mommas







nursing for a long time.

Whenever it comes up, now, i just say I'm gonna nurse dd until she moves out of the house. that way, for people who disapprove, if i *only* nurse her until she's six they'll be all, "whew, at least she stopped before dd was 15!"

:nana:
















:


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## Ruth (Nov 19, 2001)

I've always told my now 6-year-old that she can nurse until she is 99 years old. ... But mommy, you'll be dead if you plan to live to only 100. Oh, then I plan to live to be 136 years old.

Seriously, she is six and still nurses for a few seconds every once in a while. And, she proudly shows us "look ... milk" and there is really milk.

I heard that some indigenous people in this continent nursed their teenagers!


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

I always thought we'd self-wean 100%. But last night, as dd (almost 5 yo) was nursing, for the first time I thought about how it would feel when she started changing her teeth (I'm also nursing a teething baby). And I realized it would be very very strange to nurse through the gaps. So I thought maybe in a year or so I want her to quit. She nurses about 4 times a day, but she'd nurse much more if I let her.


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## Raven (Dec 15, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gidget*
Not sure what my limit is, but my minimum is 2 years.











Amber weaned herself at 2.5 years and even tho I felt ready, I was also sad and I missed it for a long time!

I believe in self-weaning and I hope Noah doesnt wean himself before 2yrs...


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

I am hoping this baby (sadly my last) will nurse for at least 3 years, I really have no idea if I would ever "cut him off", I plan to allow him to self-wean.


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## ameliabedelia (Sep 24, 2002)

I used to be of the "let them self-wean" school, but now I am 20 weeks pregnant, I get thet "creepy, crawly, feeling" and my nipples are sore. I would love for dd to wean before the new baby comes, but she is no where near ready to, so we will probably tandem. However, I am setting limits and slowly, gradually cutting her back. We don't nurse at night anymore, or limit it during the day. I am hoping she will be done by 3 or so (now 28 months).


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## mraven721 (Mar 10, 2004)

2 Well I say that now with my 10M old. We will see what I am saying in a year, probley 3. At least 2 though!


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## Nankay (Jan 24, 2002)

I'd say 2.5. My two self weaned at 18 mos (too soon!..She just got up and played one morning and never looked back!) and 24 mos (just right..I was ready too)


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## luckylady (Jul 9, 2003)

I was one of those 6-week mamas, which turned into 6 months, then 1 year, then 2 - now we are at 26 months and going strong. So now I am pretty much when DD wants to wean - though I cannot imagine nursing a 3YO, I also couldn't imagine nursing a 2 YO.

I am so glad we still are nursing. This winter we both caught RSV and DD had a 102+ fever for 7 days. Her ped said had she still not been nursing she would have been hospitalized. When she caught the flu she was able to keep breastmilk down.

Don't let your family pressure you. It's between you and your child. I always wonder why the heck it bothers some people so much. When MIL bugs me I say we are weaning. It's true. When DD started eating table food, she started the weaning process.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

I weaned 2 kids while pg, b/c my nipples were so sore. However I held out til the 8th month both times! Then I was so huge and uncomfortable one more discomfort was too much to bear.

Many women wean during pregnancy b/c of pain. Many babies wean when mom is pg b/c they don't like the change in milk taste/quantity.

With my 3rd and last, he nursed longer than the other 2 (each child nursed a yr longer than the previous). By the time he was 4 1/2 I let go of my goal to do child led weaning. By negotiation and his choice/need, we were down to only one 2 minute nursing at bedtime after stories. He would nurse, roll over and go to sleep. I know he could fall asleep without it, as just my presence next to him was enough comfort. So we talked it over, he agreed, and we weaned with no regrets on either side.

I am really glad I nursed him that long. He has been by far, my healthiest child. Well, no vaxes helped too!









He is proud he nursed that long too! He is almost 13 and b/c of my volunteer work, I never let him forget it. heh

For those that are geting lots of negative comments, go here for ammo:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html


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## Bippity (Sep 12, 2003)

Well, I was hoping/wishing/planning it would go like this.... Privately - like in my home or the home of family/friends - I would have breastfed my child till about 5 if DD wanted to. I probably would have stopped nursing DD in public at about 3-ish. Unfortunately I had issues with chronic low supply and DD is weaned already. It makes me sad sometimes.


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## Rainbow (Nov 19, 2001)

I don't have an age, I think it is instinctive (I really do) like in the animal kingdom. When enough is enough one of us or both will just know and start working towards that. I do believe there can be some encouraging on the mothers part- it seems pretty normal and universal, with animals at least.


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## RaggedyAnn (May 30, 2004)

I weaned my dd when she was 2.1, but that was because I was kind of going through a depressive stage and was not liking all of the contact.







I so regret it now, but what can I do.

With my next child I will let he/she self wean....I don't really have an age that I would stop at. And to think I was an odd ball when I nursed my dd to 2.1.....what will I been called when I let the next nurse until 5.


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## magemom (Mar 5, 2002)

My first 2 weaned/were weaned by 9 months. I could not imagine nursing a baby to a year. Then DS2 happened along and I was going to nurse till a year, then 14 months, then self wean... he was 37 months. He nursed my entire pregnancy, was nursing when my water broke and was so happy when my milk came back. I started to get creeped out with him the closer he got to 3. He mostly self weaned- he didn't like the limits I was putting on things. (only in bed, only right before sleep time)
DS3 weaned about 21-22 months. I was sad he didn't make it till 2, but he also didn't like limits. I am pregnant so I am sure that had something to do with it. I still plan on self weaning this one... we shall see.

If I am not pregnant, I can see myself nursing till 4. However, I should say my 34 year old still ikes a slurple or two


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruth*
I've always told my now 6-year-old that she can nurse until she is 99 years old. ... But mommy, you'll be dead if you plan to live to only 100. Oh, then I plan to live to be 136 years old.

Seriously, she is six and still nurses for a few seconds every once in a while. And, she proudly shows us "look ... milk" and there is really milk.

I heard that some indigenous people in this continent nursed their teenagers!























Yay!

What else did you expect...with my ddddc??

There is NO age limit to a nursing relationship.


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

I don't care how long anyone else nurses.
I totally support child-led weaning, but I'm starting to doubt that I can do it myself.
My son will be 2 next month, and I feel ready for him to stop nursing. I feel such resentment at the constant biting, pinching, clawing, upside-down nursing, pulling, etc. I never thought I'd make it two years, and I'm really proud of myself for it. I guess I'll just put more and more limits on nursing until my son is weaned. I'm pretty torn about this right now.


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## SaraC (Jan 11, 2002)

With my first I started out with a goal of 6 weeks(after a very difficult start),then went to 6 months, then to a year. She weaned when I got pregnant again at about 14 months. I was a little sad because I didn't see it coming but she did fine since she was the one who did it.

With Mary-Grace I had the same goal of a year and now she is 15 months old and still nurses although it is not as much as I thought she would still be doing. Maybe 2 times a night. I don't push it and am ready when she asks. I think 2 is my limit but I am always open to nursing longer if she is open to it. I think that is the key to any successful nursing relationship. Being open.

Sorry for the novel.


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

I feel that all babies deserve to be nursed till 2 years old. after that I feel it should be a mutual decision of the mother and child.

in my case - I got pregnant when my twins were 6 months old and one twin weaned when I was 5 months along - he was 11 months. the other twin weaned at 4 years and 1 month - completely child led in both cases. I was very sad about the one weaning when he was 11 months. he probably would not have weaned if I hadn't been pregnant and I do feel I short changed him. I tried everything I could think of to get him to keep nursing but he would have nothing to do with it. I then pumped for him and mixed it with milk for as long as I could but my milk had dried up with my pregnacy. when the baby was born I pumped milk for him but he didn't like it.

My third child is going to be 3 in a week and a half and he still nurses and he will wean on his own as well.

I personally follow child led weaning and my children are allowed to nurse as long as they want. I have absolutely no upper limit in mind.

For others though I completly understand when the mother has had enough (generally at the 2-4 age range) and gentley weans.

so I would say I believe in natural weaning after age 2.


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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

When my child stops asking, or forgets how.

For DS that forgetting happened about a month after he'd turned 5.
For DD, that hasn't happened yet, but I can see it aproaching as she goes through days without asking, then asks morning and night, then goes for a couple of days.....


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## ebethmom (Jan 29, 2002)

Whenever they decide to stop. Ds is almost 3, and only nurses occasionally. We'll see what happens when my milk comes back in!


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*
Gidget, what if the child chooses to wean before then? would you go along with child-led weaning, or force the child to keep nursing until 2 years old?

she mentioned in another thread that she would pump for her kiddos should the wean before age 2. I don't know how you could force nursing!

I have to say I am all for CLW, but because my dd weaned at 20mo (because I was pg I think) I have trouble imaging nursing a 3yo... but only because I have never done it. KWIM? Ds may just go that long or longer. He loves his na-nas.


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## jadegirl553 (Mar 28, 2004)

You sick, sick people! Shame on you for nursing your babies so long. I weaned at six months, and so should the rest of you!

:LOL :LOL :LOL

Just kidding!









Ok, seriously- We're going strong at nine months. I've been saying that we're going for a year, and then we'll take it six more months at a time. KWIM? I figure that way, I won't feel like a "failure" if I set smaller goals. That said, my secret wish is to BF for _at least_ two years, probably more.







:


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## christymama (Feb 21, 2003)

A year~ Is that wrong of me? He is my first child I have nursed.. My daughters werent nursed..But I plan on nursing him a year.. After that just pumping... A year is good to though right?? Now I feel like a awful mommy with all the other mamas going until the child wants to stop.







:


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

christymama, no that is not wrong of you. You might change your mind later. Or you might not.

Here is a list of the benefits of nursing past one year, just FYI.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christymama*
A year is good to though right??

a year isn't just good - a year is EXCELLENT







when I said I felt every baby deserved two years of breastfeeding I should have clarified that I feel that ANY amount of breastfeeding is awesome! Even if a mom *just* breastfeeds in the hospital she is giving her child a lifetime of benefits

http://www.wiessinger.baka.com/bfing...ttle/wean.html


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## comet (Aug 22, 2002)

when she was born, I said 1 yr, then I said 2 yrs.

Now I'd probably say 5 yrs is my limit, however dd was practically all weaned by 2.5 yrs.


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## GoodWillHunter (Mar 14, 2003)

OMG, DaryLLL, thank you so much... sometimes, I wonder why I'm still nursing DS3 at 30 months, but... those references you gave are priceless...









Christy, you go girl!!! You even may find at one year, you won't want to stop nursing. It's amazing how little a one year old looks...


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## tboroson (Nov 19, 2002)

I have every intention of being done by my early fourties... though, my kids might have different plans...


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

I have every intention of being done by my early fourties... though, my kids might have different plans...
LOL. I've had the goal of being done w/the "baby" stage when I'm 30 (haven't decided if that means 29years & 364days or 30years &364days). I think maybe I will have it be April 9th the year I am already 31 (we concieved dd April 9th the year I was 21). That would make DS 5.5.







I'll have to think about that further. But, realistically, just like I can't choose DD to night train, I can't plan this either.


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## kimberlylibby (Dec 28, 2003)

Well, I am all about toddler nursing, but my dd weaned at 10 1/2 months when I was newly pg with this babe. I tried everything under the sun and had no milk when I pumped





















I ended up giving her frozen bmilk and some of my sister's bmilk until she was a little over a year or so....

This babe, well, I would LOVE to nurse till she's 2 or 3! We shall see


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## williamsmommy2002 (Feb 25, 2003)

I will go as long as my kids want. I have a feeling that my ds will nurse for quite some time. I only have colostrum now and he still nurses about 8-10 times a day. I also would strongly discourage weaning before 2.


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## MamaMonica (Sep 22, 2002)

Philosophically, as long as they want. Longer is better.

Realistically- I am so ready for my 27-month old to wean. I've threatened it a few times when he bit me or jumped off my lap while latched on and almost ripped my nipple off.


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## FreeRangeMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I will nurse until they are done. I am tandem nursing my 3 yo and my 9 mo old. I suspect my 9 mo old will wean before the 3 yo as he is not really "into" nursing and really loves solid food. I hope he will continue until AT LEAST 2 though, I will strongly encourage him to. My 3 yo nursed 12-24 times/day until I got pregnant and lost my supply. He still nurses several times a day. I may end up triandem nursing before they are done :LOL Whatever happens is okay with me. They will stop when they are done


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

I'd have to say 4 does it for me (as in, sometime in the 4th year not right when they turn 4). My DD is 4 and I just cannot imagine nursing a child that mature. She self-weaned at 2. Maybe it will be different for DS, who is 2.5 and still nursing, but I think he'll self-wean soon (he's down to once, sometimes twice a day).


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoodWillHunter*
OMG, DaryLLL, thank you so much... sometimes, I wonder why I'm still nursing DS3 at 30 months, but... those references you gave are priceless...










You're entirely welcome, GWH. kellymom rocks.


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## Els' 3 Ones (Nov 19, 2001)

They decide.

I'm no longer comfortable giving ages......................I've been called "sick" on another board bcuz someone else wasn't comfortable with the number.

Many discussions here also where ppl where very judgemental of those who let nature decide.

Some questions to think about:

What is weaned? Never, no more? Cuz mine have often come back for a 1x after months of nothing.............just shows me how much comfort I can provide from the exciting, overwhelming world.

Sexually aware? How many moms feel their children will see their breasts as sex objects when they are older? I just don't get that. I was never nursed and yet never saw my mothers or grandmothers breasts as sexual, kwim? I am absolutely sure my children will never see mine as sexual either. Not to say they won't see me sexually come some time - but not the boobs. The boobs have been way to big a part of their beginning.

Not to be a wet blanket, but please be aware that a member of our board lost custody of her son bcuz she nursed passed some arbitrary line in a judge's head................the boy lives with her now (after being removed for some time) but she has no legal standing with him. Anyone advocating that?


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

I guess this is easy for me to say since I am not BFing yet, but I can't imagine cutting off a nursling just because they had another birthday. So, no age limit for me that I can imagine, though I can imagine weaning for other reasons, obviously.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

No age limit. When it comes to breastfeeding, age is just an arbitrary number that too many people get uptight about.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonee*
I always thought we'd self-wean 100%. But last night, as dd (almost 5 yo) was nursing, for the first time I thought about how it would feel when she started changing her teeth (I'm also nursing a teething baby). And I realized it would be very very strange to nurse through the gaps. So I thought maybe in a year or so I want her to quit. She nurses about 4 times a day, but she'd nurse much more if I let her.

Simonee, I just wanted to let you know that it isn't much different when a child has a gap. Not even close to as bad as when they're teething as babies. Dd needed to adjust her latch a little bit but other than that no problems.


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## Overproducktion (Aug 31, 2003)

3 years is my limit with Mila.

BUT, I have a few friends that have bf their 5 & 6 year olds, and I totally respect that--it's just not for me. BUT, then again, I'm not there yet, so we'll see.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I think it would depend on the maturity of my child. 5 would probably be my limit, unless there was some extraordinary circumstance where mother's milk would be needed for an older child (like a stay in the hospital, or a long illness).

Dh grew up where people don't limit breastfeeding, at least not until the kids start school. But he was 5 when he weaned completely, and in his mom's experience, that was getting a little "old".


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *klothos*
already he's showing awareness of sexuality and his own gender identity, and i personally think that's when breastfeeding should be cut off.

Humans are naturally sexual beings from birth, but confusing the breast as a sexual object (and expecting that your child will also) is giving in to the ignorance of our society towards breastfeeding.


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

I think each mother-child relationship is different/unique, and as long as both are happy with the nursing relationship, it should continue. If one is not happy (after having nursed happily for quite some time) then weaning could be considered.

For me, the number would be some time in the third year (after ds has turned 3). Right now he's nine months old, exclusively breastfed, and we're both happy clams. Weaning is far, far from our minds


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

When I was pregnant, I decided I wanted to nurse to age 2 because of the WHO and American Association of Family Physicians and other recommendations -- but I was kind of icked out at the idea of nursing a toddler.

When she was ~1, I planned to nurse her as long as she wanted.

Now she's 27 months and still nurses more than my friend's newborn (she eats lots of food too). I am not going to deny her "babboos", but I am thinking if she doesn't slow down on her own by her next birthday I will strongly encourage her to start weaning.


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## steff (Apr 7, 2004)

2 would be my limit.

But for all the mothers that go past 2 All the Power to you.

Steff


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

Quote:

she mentioned in another thread that she would pump for her kiddos should the wean before age 2.
ah, that makes sense.

to whoever asked if a year was ok.... i think it's great.

there are so many mothers who don't even make it to the 6-week mark. a year is fabulous.

Quote:

Humans are naturally sexual beings from birth, but confusing the breast as a sexual object (and expecting that your child will also) is giving in to the ignorance of our society towards breastfeeding.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

when ds was born, i thought 12 months-ish. then he hit 6 months and i'd starte to hear of more people nursing toddlers, so i figured maybe around 2. i got pregnant a few months before his bday and figured he'd wean when my milk dried up. that didn't happen, and i figured - maybe 3 was a good age. he's now almost 3.5 and i've been tandem nursing for almost a year. i guess i'll just say maybe around 4 :LOL. so the short answer is that i will breastfeed my kids for as long as it is a mutually enjoyable (or at least tolerable) experience.


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## taz925 (Nov 29, 2001)

No age limit here, almost 5 years and counting. TN with an almost 2 year old.

Doreen


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## glitterbits333 (Nov 17, 2003)

It's all theoretical at this point since DH and I are TTC #1 right now. But I'd like to get at *least* two or three years worth out of these puppies! I'm all for child-led weaning, so whatever happens, happens.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I am tandem nursing my 3.5 yo and my 9 mo old.

I don't personally have an age limit. I know that is ds still wanted to nurse at 7 or 8, dh would likely cut him off.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

hmm. i would like to help dd gently wean by 3, but i don't care how long any other mama decides to nurse. i'm in a similar place as you, lotusdebi. my body is just all pinched and kicked and pulled out. my boobs are tired. i didnt start out thinking i'd nurse this long-add me to the list of those mamas were only going to try it for 6 weeks, 6 months, 9 months...now i think all babies should be nursed until age 2


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
Humans are naturally sexual beings from birth, but confusing the breast as a sexual object (and expecting that your child will also) is giving in to the ignorance of our society towards breastfeeding.

ITA! Anyone who thinks breasts are inherantly sexual objects has issues, IMO. They may be *common* issues in our society, but it's still not right. Breastfeeding is not a sexual act.


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## shanleysmama (Mar 9, 2002)

My limit is 3 years, and it worked out perfect. DD weaned at 3 1/2, DS weaned on his 3rd birthday (and they tandem nursed for 1 1/2 years). DD will be 5 next week, and there is no way I could picture her climbing onto my lap for "nummies", or coming home from kindergarten and nursing. After age two it just started to feel funny when they nursed.

So we are all happy with age 3 here.









Melanie


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

I've never nursed a child older than 26 months, so I have no idea how I would feel about nursing a five or six or seven year old. But when ds was born, I never thought I'd be nursing a 15 month old, and now, here we are.

My ds nurses as much as a 6 month old, and there is no end in sight. He will self wean and I'm sure I will continue to adapt and be comfortable with our beautiful nursing relationship.

Ds says "mama, nurse make me feel better"


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## Jazmommie (Nov 19, 2001)

my 2 cents here -
I thought my first child would be the longest nurser-he was colicky & a high need baby---well the second child actually passed him by 6 months (4 1/2).
Child #3 is still nursing 1 x a day at age 5.3 months (almost).

If I had another ---I would say 5-6 years but would be fine with 3ish.
I like to know they are getting antibodies to strengthen the immune system.


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## christymama (Feb 21, 2003)

Ya know you are right.. I may change my mind when a year gets here.. I so enjoy the time we get when nursing.. I hope I feel the same way a year or so from now.. All you mamas are AWESOME


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I don't have an actual age limit. Don't see the point. What makes the day they turn __ , any different than the day before? I do though limit nursing if I am uncomfortable(like now while pregnant), I will ask ds to wait a minute, or distract him...though he still nurses around 10 times a day though. My ds1 was helped to wean at 4, and dd weaned a month before her fifth birthday. I *never* imagined nursing that long when I had my first child...but the days just went by, and the needs changed, but were still there, so we still nursed.

Oh, and unless there is some sort of abuse going on, you CAN NOT force a child to nurse. There is no way. LOL


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jazmommie*
I like to know they are getting antibodies to strengthen the immune system.

Me too... and isn't their immune system not completely mature until they are between 5 and 7 years old? That sort of ties in with the world average for breastfeeding - giving the child an imunity boost until their system is fully matured.


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## sarahbay (Oct 30, 2003)

Well, whatever the baby and mother feel are right, then that's the right time to do it.

If you're feeling pressured from society, parents, "friends" the TV, then that's probably not the right time.

You have to listen to your heart to know what's righ ton that subject.

Breastfeeding to me is the purest form of Motherly Love.

You know that Motherly sense us females have? It is completely fullfilled when Breastfeeding.

Nursing is not jsut for food, although kids who BF for longer years have a much higher IQ than those who do not BF for as long, that's been proven. 8 pts higher is only average, it can go as high as 36 points higher!!!!!

That might wipe out children who would otherwise be mentally challenged!

I've BF my dd till 5.

My ds till , well he's 5 now and I let him nurse just the other day after having a lull for about 3 months.

But they don't bf everyday, or even every week at that age, it's totally up to you on how often. You have to have a 4 or 5 yr old to understand that they are still babies in a sense.

my ds #2 is 15 mo, he will be our last baby, and I intend to nurse him until he decides to stop, maybe till he's 7 if he wants!!!! All the better for his future, and mine too.

My kids will still have that fond memory of nursing. Being the closest you can possibly be to another human being can not possibly be a bad thing. It is such a good thing, so good that they will want to reproduce that feeling in all their relationships. They will trust and love other humans in a way that a bottle fed baby cannot understand.

I have noticed my ds #1 attracted to breasts (on some raunchy video, he glimpsed for a second or so before I saw and turned it off) and the female body in a sexual way, that my dd never did when he was as young as 2 1/2

I've seen him staring much to hard at other similar things a few times since that, never at me or my body though. it's totally human to be attracted to the opposite sex.

He does stare at my exposed breasts sometimes, and I know he remembers nursing on them, an probably wants to be close again. That's not wrong or sexual, just love.

Read more on the benefits of extended BFing, it's more than you think.

There's a NA tribe where they BF each child until 9 or 10 yrs old. They also spaced their children apart that far. So each child that was born was a true blessing and miracle, and they devoted much, much time and energy into raising each one. They were a very well respected and wise tribe in the eyes of other tribes around them.

There is a lot we still do not know about our BFing history as humans. who's to say what's right, our dumb sex a phobic society, or our heart, minds and intuitions??

Trust is the key.

Trust yourself and your baby as to what;s right.


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## lmonter (Feb 26, 2004)

At first I was aiming for 6 months (ds took 3 weeks to latch, ugh), then I was aiming for 12 months, now I'm going for 2 years. Ask me again in a few months, and I'm sure I'll have changed my mind again. As long as we're *both* comfortable nursing, I'm good.








I also love that he's my getting antibodies (allergies are common in my family), I'm basically his comfort food, and I can almost always calm him down.


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## thirtycats (May 14, 2002)

For me personally, four years is my limit. I say that though and the thought of forcing my child to wean breaks my heart. But the thought of nursing my son at five-years-old....just not for me. And I'm always scared that it will never end...that he'll be one of those rare kids who want to breastfeed at 10-years-old. I need an ending!!!

As for everyone else...I don't judge anymore. Or I try not to. Since the Texas A&M anthropologist says the natural weaning age of humans should be between 2 1/2 and seven years....maybe I'd probably think nursing beyond that is a little OVER-extended. But then just as some cultures have unusually early weaning ages (way before the natural 2.5 age) some cultures have much later weaning ages.

In my opinion, we should nurse as long as the other apes nurse. I think that's about 2-5 years.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

I don't have a limit.

I'm relieved that this discussion didn't turn out to be about when people think *other people* should wean.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
confusing the breast as a sexual object (and expecting that your child will also) is giving in to the ignorance of our society towards breastfeeding.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lucysmama*
Anyone who thinks breasts are inherantly sexual objects has issues, IMO. They may be *common* issues in our society, but it's still not right. Breastfeeding is not a sexual act.


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## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

What is my BF age limit? I don't have one. At age 7, she still occasionally requested (and received) bm. And commented on how delicious and special it was! I completely believe in child-led weaning.

ETA: When my child was 12 months, I thought I'd nurse her until she was 2-3. When she was about 2, I thought, OK, weaning will happen in the next year. When she was 3 and still going strong (at least at nap and bed time), I decided that whenever she decided to wean was fine with me.

Ann-Marita


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## Katana (Nov 16, 2002)

I can't imagine nursing past a year, but I have hope that maybe someday I'll know what it's like.

Ds stopped at six months and dd wanted to stop at nine, but I talked her into two more months. By eleven months, she was done. I've been completely grief filled, both times.

I really hope, with any more, that they'll go longer.


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

As it stands, i want her to be done by three. I guess i am for CLW up to a point, tho i know many of you believe it is all or nothing







. I think three years is an incredibly long time, and a great gift, and that for me to wean her at that point will not be bad or evil or traumatic. I do refuse her even now sometimes (22 mos) if my breasts are sore or feeling touched out; if i am not content with how things are, then i will resent it and her and taint the relationship and i don't want that. If she's not showing signs of stopping for good at 2.5, i will gently but actively encourage weaning at that point, I think right now - this feeling may or may not change. I do want to get pg soon, but i don't really want to tandem. Please please no flames - i have gotten my share of those lately; i am simply trying to be honest about my feelings on this issue.

I am, however happy for other people to do as they please







.


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother_sunshine*
Simonee, I just wanted to let you know that it isn't much different when a child has a gap. Not even close to as bad as when they're teething as babies. Dd needed to adjust her latch a little bit but other than that no problems.









Thank you m_s. I didn't think it would hurt, it's just one of those things where suddenly you realize that something will happen that you've never thought or read about before kwim? And yeah, I did secretly wonder if my nipple will get stuck in a gap :LOL

I just talked about it with dd (that's one of the great things about nursing an older child). She says that she'll respect the fact that it's "my body my choice" (that's how we always phrase it here) if I want us to wean, but that she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonee*
Thank you m_s. I didn't think it would hurt, it's just one of those things where suddenly you realize that something will happen that you've never thought or read about before kwim? And yeah, I did secretly wonder if my nipple will get stuck in a gap :LOL

I just talked about it with dd (that's one of the great things about nursing an older child). She says that she'll respect the fact that it's "my body my choice" (that's how we always phrase it here) if I want us to wean, but that she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?









That is so sweet!


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chemigogo*
As it stands, i want her to be done by three. I guess i am for CLW up to a point, tho i know many of you believe it is all or nothing







. I think three years is an incredibly long time, and a great gift, and that for me to wean her at that point will not be bad or evil or traumatic. I do refuse her even now sometimes (22 mos) if my breasts are sore or feeling touched out; if i am not content with how things are, then i will resent it and her and taint the relationship and i don't want that. If she's not showing signs of stopping for good at 2.5, i will gently but actively encourage weaning at that point, I think right now - this feeling may or may not change. I do want to get pg soon, but i don't really want to tandem. Please please no flames - i have gotten my share of those lately; i am simply trying to be honest about my feelings on this issue.

I am, however happy for other people to do as they please







.

Chemigogo, But CLW is "CHILD led weaning". It isn't mother led. Not that there aren't reasons moms want to wean. I am just saying that child led weaning is just that, not "child led to a point".


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Not that there is anything neccessarily wrong with mother-led weaning (well, I guess depending on the age of the nurser). There are two people in a nursing couple, and it continues as long as both of them are happy.


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom4tot*
Chemigogo, But CLW is "CHILD led weaning". It isn't mother led. Not that there aren't reasons moms want to wean. I am just saying that child led weaning is just that, not "child led to a point".


Fine then - I am not opposed to mother-led weaning after two years of age - does that sound better to you







. if she weans herself before three, i will be pleased, if not, i will probably wean her as gently as possible myself. As phathui said, and i agree emphatically, BOTH of us must be satisfied with the nursing relationship.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonee*
she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?



















liam has said he will bf until he gets married and has his own babies. i asum he thinks he can then get his milk from his wife :LOL


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

7 is when bfing my dd got on my nerves & i cut her off (cruel!) see, i don't practice child-led weaning, lol.

i dunno; my going-on-4 yr old (ok, he's not even 3 1/2 yet, but he is extremely articulate) is not nearly ready to bid adieu to his 'do'. (he is very interested right now in having me tell you all now that children need their milk! he is vehement!)

suse


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5*
Not that there is anything neccessarily wrong with mother-led weaning (well, I guess depending on the age of the nurser). There are two people in a nursing couple, and it continues as long as both of them are happy.























ITA!!!


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

I completely agree that it is a nursing "relationship". I was one of the moms who use to say, "well, maybe until a year or so" (even tho I knew the WHO guidelines). After dd was born I realized it wasn't just my decision. I couldn't imagine taking away her attachment object (nursing was a vital part of our connection). I wish more moms had the support and maybe even the expectation that "children will wean when they are ready". There are so many factors in our society that work against this, not the least of which is the over sexualization of the breast.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom4tot*
I wish more moms had the support and maybe even the expectation that "children will wean when they are ready". There are so many factors in our society that work against this, not the least of which is the over sexualization of the breast.


















Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonee*
Thank you m_s. I didn't think it would hurt, it's just one of those things where suddenly you realize that something will happen that you've never thought or read about before kwim? And yeah, I did secretly wonder if my nipple will get stuck in a gap

I just talked about it with dd (that's one of the great things about nursing an older child). She says that she'll respect the fact that it's "my body my choice" (that's how we always phrase it here) if I want us to wean, but that she would really like me to "let my kid have the best food there is and her favite food also till she's a teenager."
Who can argue with that?


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Seems like there is lots of talk here about the nursing relationship continuing as long as it is mutually desired. I think this is also the recomendation of WHO and AAP after their recommended minimum nursing periods.

I just wanted to say that even though I think this sounds like a good idea conceptually, I believe that a lot of moms in our society have many reasons to believe that they are ready to end the nursing relationship much sooner than they might have been if they had different societal pressures or cultural directives or peer guidance or whatever...

I know many people who felt it was time to stop nursing at 12 months bc they had it ingrained in them that that is long enough, and thus felt that they had had enough. I know other moms who say their child "self-weaned" at 9 or 10 months but I also know that they started solids early, used pacifiers, practised CIO...

I'm not accusing anyone here of doing this, I'm just saying that a lot of moms I know believed that their child naturally weaned or was ready to wean bc of these environmental conditions that we live in today.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Another thought on "self weaning", I think some (don't know about "most" or "all") thumbsuckers seem to "self-wean" early. My son "self weaned" at 15 months, but really, had he not been a thumb sucker (which he still is) I am thinking he would've nursed longer. Truth be told







: he sucked *MY* thumb, so he was happy to get the closeness of nursing without having to be facing in, YK? I would lay him down to nurse him to sleep and he would nurse for a cery short while, then grap my thumb or finger and put that in his mouth. He would esp. do this when he wanted to be playing but still wanted to be close to me. Eventually he started sucking his own thumb (and pulling on his own hair, which he used to do my hair), and he still does at almost 3. I am thinking if I had stopped the finger/thumb sucking, he might've nursed longer, thoughts?


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

I weaned my kids at two.

Nursing got incredibly uncomfortable for me after age 1 1/2 with both kids. I couldn't stand the physical sensation. I thought it would drive me mad!


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

I think those are good points. I do believe my dd would have nursed longer, but I was working part-time (she stayed with my mom or DH depending on my schedule). She started refusing bottles of EBM at 9mo so was very dependent on nursing because she hadn't figured out the sippy cup. Eventually she started taking water in a sippy cup, but would not drink anything else. When I was 2 months preggers with ds, she weaned at 20 months old. I think it was a combination of these things, our separations while I worked, her discovering the sippy cup and possibly my milk supply dropping because of pregnancy that caused her "early" weaning. It was earlier than I expected, but gradual enough that I never leaked or experienced discomforted. She never cried about it and was never denied.

I even allowed her to try to nurse again after ds was born, but she had forgotten how to suck.


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## mountain mom (Nov 6, 2003)

My dd is 2 years 7 months and the only time I think about weaning is when someone asks me about it.

We nurse and it feels right. Sometimes she asks me for boob and I say no, due to various reasons, most of which are circumstantial such as I am making dinner or writing a letter or talking on the phone. She is okay with the no, it helps us define boundaries with eachother.

As far as weaning I thought we would just evolve in our relationship with nursing and slowly she would stop. I never really have had a plan.

My family, particulairly my Mom, ask often when I will stop. I reply the same each time...I am practicing childled weaning. That doesn't seem to satisfy them anymore. My Mom at least asks me the benefits of nursing this long..sadly the rest of the family just thinks I am a freak.

My friends however are very supportive...most having already gone through this, so they understand and don't really care too much to discuss it except to offer support for me and my dd.

I often wonder how long we will nurse.. but it is more of a philosophical thought.

Sadly though I think we at the stage where I will start to censor where I nurse my dd so that she doesn't feel my families insecurity with it. I do not want her to associate negativity with this..she is just too young to understand how someone could find breastfeeding a toddler uncomfortable.


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

One year.


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amywillo*
I'll probably be done by the time I'm 42.

yeah, me too.

I really don't know how long either of my daughters will need to nurse, but it will continue as long as mutually agreeable. Sometimes I figure my little one will wean herself before big sister does.

I know without a doubt that weaning my oldest before she is ready will make my life much harder than it has to be. Maybe I'm lazy, or whatever, but it's just easier to keep nursing her than to have one very upset spirited child on my hands without my secret weapon to help calm her down.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

but it's just easier to keep nursing her than to have one very upset spirited child on my hands without my secret weapon to help calm her down.










You can say that again!


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## SaraC (Jan 11, 2002)

I just wanted to add that I think everyone here is an awesome mom to their little ones. You guys rock


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## shanetedissac (Apr 26, 2002)

I would not say that I have a limit. I stoped my first at just after 4 years because he forgot how to nurse, I was nursing his 2yo brother, and was pg with brother #3. Now that I'm nursing just one and will not be pg again (permenant birth control by DH) I don't know how this one will end.


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## Embee (May 3, 2002)

Before I had DS, I said we'd nurse for a year--that seemed SO LONG then. When he was six months I thought to myself, "I can't wean him in six months. That seems way too early." I started looking into child-led weaning at that time...

We'll wean when DS is ready (i.e, when _he_ gives the word up). He is currently 3.5. No idea when he'll wean. Absolutely, no idea...


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

The World Health Org. says minimum of 2 years. Then for as long after, as is mutually desired.

Its the AAP that says minimum of 1 year.

With my 1st, not knowing any beter...I gradually weaned her at a year old.









My youngest dd is 21 mos. and still very much a nursling....

Having done it both ways.....

I couldnt even imagine weaning before 1 1/2 or 2 now. They're STILL BABIES!!!


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

"Breastfeeding to me is the purest form of Motherly Love"























Jess7396- My dd weaned herself at 22 months. She is a avid thumbsucker. There was nothing I could do to curtail her thumbsucking, I did try the yucky nailpolish but It seemed too cruel to continue. Yes, she definitely derived the sucking satisfaction she would have gooten from nursing via her thumb. I allowed it by not interfering with a dangling boob b/c I was 4 months pg and it hurt like the dickens to nurse. My milk may have changed taste too and she preffered the thumb. I feel bad about that. I wish I had not been pg so soon, so that she could nurse longer and get those IQ points







after the baby was born, she did not know how to suckle! She asked so I offered but she tried to chew my boob...4 times. Ah well, all kids are different.

Chemigogo~ I agree with you 100%. Rock on Sister girl.
Thanks all.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

I just don't know what my "limit" is. It really will depend on how well the nursing relationship goes. My ds is 28 months old and nursing strong but I am newly pregnant and having the sorest nipples. The entire time he nurses, Im clinching my teeth and holding my breath it hurts so bad ( IM going to a LLL meeting on Wed for support on this). I have started to limit him in teh morning because he wants to basically nurse from 6-8 am straight and I was losing my mind. But I can tell that he is so not ready for this as he is wanting to nurse more as a result. Someone once had a quote in their sig that said something like --A need unmet becomes stronger - and it is totally true for ds.

I'm also considering, researching, soul searching about tandem nursing. Its not something I thought I would ever do...but since my ds's needs to nurse is so strong and obvious, I'm rethinking this. Of course, he may wean when the milk supply is low and he might not like the taste. I'll take it as it comes....

I also wanted to say my LEAST limit was 2 years. I knew that I wanted my babe to at LEAST nurse to 2 years and that I would have been very sad if he had weaned before 2 years. The benefits were just too large for me to not have that as a goal.


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## Cranberry (Mar 18, 2002)

I think 5 or 6 years old, or whenever ds is ready!! I used to say 2 or 3! But now ds is 4 and still nursing 1 or 2 times each day. He is weaning himself (with a little help from me sometimes). If he is still nursing at 5, I won't mind at all.


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## myjulybabes (Jun 24, 2003)

I *think* 3ish. But I really won't know until/unless I get there. I weaned my older 2 well before a year due to bad info/bad circumstances. Aidan has always been a fiercely independent little creature, and he self-weaned at 18 mos. I can sort of imagine him still nursing now, at almost 3, and think I'd be ok with it, but wanting it to end soon. And I really can't picture nursing dd, who's almost 5. I think it's great if other mom's do it, but I get "touched out" SO easily, I don't think it would work for me. But we'll make it up as we go along, if and when we have another baby.


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## Pynki (Aug 19, 2002)

Ds1 weaned at 15 months.. Ds 2 weaned at right about 13 months.. I didn't do anything.. They just didn't want it anymore.. With ds1 we got pg with ds2.. With ds2 he nursed on one side exclusively for the last 4 months.. i could only get him to nurse at night if he was sleeping.. And he started to refuse even then.. DS 3 is now 11 months old this month.. I don't plan on weaning him anytime soon.. I would really like forhim to nurse longer.. We'll see what happens..

Most of my mommy friends have nursed until 18 months to 2 yrs.. I would personally wean by about age 3 if they didn't wean before then, but again.. That's just a personal preference..

Sometimes it isn't possible to nurse until 2.. I don't get any output from pumping, so that really isn't an option.. When my children wean they wean themselves.. I'm not pushing for it to happen... It just does.. 2 or 3 would probably be better, but sometimes there just isn't anyway to get that BM into them..

Warm Squishy Feelings..

Dyan


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## LDSmomma6 (Oct 31, 2003)

So far I say 2 yrs is my limit. My others have weaned at 22 months, 18 months, 14 months, 18 months and 21 months. My baby is 4 months old now, and with all the problems I have had, I am surprised I haven't weaned her yet.


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## magnoliablue (Dec 29, 2002)

With my first, I figured 2 would be a good time. He self-weaned at 18 months when I was preg with my 2nd. She nursed and nursed and nursed and nursed to the ripe old age of 4, when she weaned. My youngest will be 4 in July, and though he is now weaned, it was led by me because I went on bc. Not a day goes by that he doesn't ask for his "neenies"..so he would still be going strong if it weren't for that.


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## Nemmer (Sep 30, 2002)

If I ever get the chance... I think my comfort limit would be after age 2 but before age 3. Of course, any initiation of weaning by me would be gentle and gradual, like the bottle-weaning DS and I are currently beginning.


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## sohj (Jan 14, 2003)

Limit?

No limit. Except if we're still doing it after he gets married, there might be some logistical issues. :LOL

Nope. No limit. He'll wean when he wants to.

I'm a WOHM, btw. Just am feeling defensive and wanted to throw that out there. (Not about this thread, I hasten to add, just about some random posts I've been seeing around.







)


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## Nikki Christina (Mar 27, 2003)

i had said Id wean by 2.. then 2 came & went

I was *really* tired of it.. to the point *I* was ready to throw a termper tantrum if we werent done soon.. but I didnt want it to be a tramatic thing on her

we weaned about 3 months before 3.. without TOO much trouble

next ones being cut off at 2..








we'llllllllllllllll hopefully.. we'll see


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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

No limit. Just as I wouldn't limit how much love or comfort I give my kids or how much broccoli they can eat. My mamamilk doesn't have an expiration date.

My oldest self-weaned on his fifth birthday after planning his weaning day for 6 months. He was ready. He's asked to nurse a couple times since then and I've let him ... he's ended in hysterics both times because he's forgotten how!

I spent the first 9 months of motherhood nursing one baby. I spent the next 9 months nursing through pregnancy. I spent the next 14 months tandem nursing and the following 9 months tandem nursing through pregnancy. I then spent 18 months triandem nursing and have now gone back to tandem nursing for the past 9 months. Nothing is out of the question as far as nursing goes!


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Just wanted to say you are my hero!!! LOL














And where is the nursing three babies smiley when you need one??!!







Debi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2threenurslings*
No limit. Just as I wouldn't limit how much love or comfort I give my kids or how much broccoli they can eat. My mamamilk doesn't have an expiration date.

My oldest self-weaned on his fifth birthday after planning his weaning day for 6 months. He was ready. He's asked to nurse a couple times since then and I've let him ... he's ended in hysterics both times because he's forgotten how!

I spent the first 9 months of motherhood nursing one baby. I spent the next 9 months nursing through pregnancy. I spent the next 14 months tandem nursing and the following 9 months tandem nursing through pregnancy. I then spent 18 months triandem nursing and have now gone back to tandem nursing for the past 9 months. Nothing is out of the question as far as nursing goes!


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2threenurslings*
No limit. Just as I wouldn't limit how much love or comfort I give my kids or how much broccoli they can eat. My mamamilk doesn't have an expiration date.


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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

Awwww, shucks! Thanks!


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2threenurslings*
He's asked to nurse a couple times since then and I've let him ... he's ended in hysterics both times because he's forgotten how!

That's so sad! Poor little guy.







5 is such a fun/funny age.


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## [email protected] (Jan 5, 2002)

at this time i dont see my breastfeeding anyone after the age of 40!

(then again my dad was a change of life baby when his mother was 44)


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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *QueeTheBean*
That's so sad! Poor little guy.







5 is such a fun/funny age.

Sorry, that should have been HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER!!! He thinks it's funny that he forgot so quickly ... and he loves for us to joke that he's a "weaner" (weiner).


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *[email protected]*
at this time i dont see my breastfeeding anyone after the age of 40!

(then again my dad was a change of life baby when his mother was 44)










oops - I thought you meant that you wouldn't bf a child who was older than 40 :LOL


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

I've been thinking about this one. My duaghter nursed a couple months before she turned 4, although there were a few sort of 2-second "test nurses" during the next 6 months or so. And I had a shirt-staining letdown when she as 5 1/2 and I heard the neighbor's baby crying...

The oldest nursling I've known personally was 8, and he was a big 8 yr old, maybe 80 pounds. I dunno... I'd known nursing 7 yr olds and that seemed fine, but his nursing seemed weird. There was sort of an odd family dynamic there, where nursing had become the way he got attention from his mom, who tended to put him off when he wanted other kinds of attention but would pretty much always nurse him, because a big part of her self-identity was an a sort of crunchy extended-nursing mom.

Thi is all kind of beside the point, I guess. I don't have any real maximum age...

dar


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I'm just curious why this thread hasn't been moved to the breasfeeding forum...is TAO just an open forum to talk about anything? I thought it was for stuff that didn't fit under the other forums...
Just curious.


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Yeah, come to think of it, Mamamoo, you're right! This thread is in the wrong place!


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2threenurslings*
Sorry, that should have been HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER!!! He thinks it's funny that he forgot so quickly ... and he loves for us to joke that he's a "weaner" (weiner).

Oh--thank you for posting that clarification! I felt so bad for the little guy!









And I love the "weiner" joke, too. Should come up with a song to the tune of the Oscar Meyer theme!


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamoo*
I'm just curious why this thread hasn't been moved to the breasfeeding forum...is TAO just an open forum to talk about anything? I thought it was for stuff that didn't fit under the other forums...
Just curious.









I think the mods have been pretty busy with other threads and this one was probably overlooked.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

I moved it to EB. And I don't have a limit on breastfeeding. As long as they want/need it I'll do it.


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

It's a bird, it's a plane... It's


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

:LOL


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Thanks mama!! I'm glad to see this over here, felt weird to me to have it in TAO.







Debi


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## callmemama (May 7, 2002)

No upper limit planned. We're at 4.5 years and counting







(ok, ds is 4.5; I'm 45 and counting







)


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

If they're young enough to ask for it, then they're young enough to still need it.


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## Firemom (Nov 21, 2001)

No limit here.

Most children will wean by the age of 7 or so and if they a go a little longer no big deal


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## Ms. Frizzle (Jan 9, 2004)

For me there is no set 'stop nursing' age.
Before I had my oldest I could not imagine nursing a baby over the age one...untill I did it. The I could never see myself nursing a 2 year old...then he turned two. Then I said that 3 would be the cut off...then he turned three. After that I said, there is no way I could nurse him when he is four..well, he turned 4 and was still nursing








He ended up stoping a few months after he turned 5. He will be 6 next month, and right now I say that I could never nurse a 6 year old...

I'm right now nursing my 17 month old, and even though I say now that I could not nurse a 6 year old, I have already proven that what I say I can't do, isn't always true, lol


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## kate-astrophe (Jan 26, 2004)

My minimum is 2. My maximum is probably around the 4th birthday. I never thought I'd nurse a toddler, but my girl is now almost 2. So anything can happen. I believe in child led weaning and I nurse on demand, but I wonder about myself, I'm assuming that at some point I will get sick of the demands on my body. Maybe, maybe not. Time will tell.

-Kate


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## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

From the time ds was a few months old I thought I would do child-led weaning.

Since he turned two, I realized maybe I do have a limit. Haven't hit it yet, but I'm starting to think it might be 3ish. Nursing just doesn't feel the same anymore, maybe it has something to do with having all his teeth in. I am struggling with my thoughts about putting some limits on nursing, and wondering if that can still be a part of child-led weaning (does child-led mean nurse completely on demand for however long?







)


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## excitedtobeamom (Jan 26, 2004)

I don't know for sure but I am guessing 3.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *slightly crunchy*
. Nursing just doesn't feel the same anymore, maybe it has something to do with having all his teeth in. I am struggling with my thoughts about putting some limits on nursing, and wondering if that can still be a part of child-led weaning (does child-led mean nurse completely on demand for however long?







)

Not a believer in child-led weaning per se. Child-respectful weaning, yes. Ater a child hits 18 mos or so, nursing becomes negotiable (where we nurse, for how long,twiddling, Mom's shirt stays down over unused breast, etc etc). This is natural. All mammals who nurse long-term do this. It is a relationship. Nursing a toddler does not mean the child runs all over you and your feelings of discomfort.

A nursing toddler must learning nursing manners. *How Weaning Happens* and *Mothering your Nursing Toddler* go into great detail about the nurisng relationship as your child grows.


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## CortLong (Jun 4, 2003)

I think my maximum is 3, but I'm not sure.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

In my understanding of CLW nursing definately is a relationship, and most CLWers do not let the child run all over the mother. There are definately limits/compromises, as in any relationship. CLW gurus please correct me if I am wrong...


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *slightly crunchy*
I am struggling with my thoughts about putting some limits on nursing, and wondering if that can still be a part of child-led weaning (does child-led mean nurse completely on demand for however long?







)

Setting limits is still part of Child Led Weaning since it's a nursing relationship between two people. I don't nurse my 3 yo in public, that's a limit I've set. Some CLWers nightwean. Limits are ok. The Child Led part is meaning actual weaning - so they are the ones who initiate when they will be done nursing completely.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

Thanks MAN, I knew you would know...







Debi


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## UrbanPlanter (Nov 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaAllNatural*
Setting limits is still part of Child Led Weaning since it's a nursing relationship between two people. I don't nurse my 3 yo in public, that's a limit I've set. Some CLWers nightwean. Limits are ok. The Child Led part is meaning actual weaning - so they are the ones who initiate when they will be done nursing completely.









I am very happy and relieved to hear this definition of CLW









and also what DaryLLL said, too!









Thanks!


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaAllNatural*
Setting limits is still part of Child Led Weaning since it's a nursing relationship between two people. I don't nurse my 3 yo in public, that's a limit I've set. Some CLWers nightwean. Limits are ok. The Child Led part is meaning actual weaning - so they are the ones who initiate when they will be done nursing completely.


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## Mommy To Baby Roni (Mar 21, 2003)

I wholeheartedly support CLW, but I think my personal limit is 2yrs. I really feel pretty "done" right now, at 19mos, but haven't done anything about it. I still nurse on demand and do not feel the urgency to nightwean, yet. DD's face is so sweet every time she asks to nurse that any thought of refusing goes right out of my head.


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## foreverinbluejeans (Jun 21, 2004)

I was recently at a LLL conference in a room of about 100 women, mostly LLL Leaders and LCs. I nursed the longest - until my son's 6th birthday.


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## MamaMonica (Sep 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaAllNatural*
Setting limits is still part of Child Led Weaning since it's a nursing relationship between two people. I don't nurse my 3 yo in public, that's a limit I've set. Some CLWers nightwean. Limits are ok. The Child Led part is meaning actual weaning - so they are the ones who initiate when they will be done nursing completely.









That is intersting. I had thought CLW meant you nurse on demand as long as the child wants. I guess I did CLW with my first- I did set limits and she did eventually (at around three) take her last nursing on her own.

Nursing an over-2yo on demand is too hard for me- gettign twiddled, kicked and gnawed on makes me feel used and depressed. If I can set some limits on that behavior I can survive.


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## Max's Mami (May 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kama'aina mama*
I just honestly don't know. Never thought I would still be nursing as her 4th birthday approaches. I'm just sticking at "never say never" now.










That is kinda how I feel -- never thought I would get past two years but now that Maxi is 19 months, 24 months doesnt seem that far off. So I guess I dont have an age limit.


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## Ms.Doula (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monnie*
Nursing an over-2yo on demand is too hard for me- gettign twiddled, kicked and gnawed on makes me feel used and depressed.









I'm soooo glad I'm not the only mum that ever felt this way!!!


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaAllNatural*
If they're young enough to ask for it, then they're young enough to still need it.









mamaallnatural, may I please use this quote in my siggy?


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *simonee*
mamaallnatural, may I please use this quote in my siggy?

Yes, of course!....but don't give me the credit...I got it from someone else here. I just can't remember who.









I would love to see that in your siggy!


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## elyice (Apr 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaryLLL*
Child-respectful weaning, yes. Ater a child hits 18 mos or so, nursing becomes negotiable (where we nurse, for how long,twiddling, Mom's shirt stays down over unused breast, etc etc). This is natural. All mammals who nurse long-term do this. It is a relationship. Nursing a toddler does not mean the child runs all over you and your feelings of discomfort.


that's the wisest thing I've read all day.


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## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaryLLL*
Not a believer in child-led weaning per se. Child-respectful weaning, yes. Ater a child hits 18 mos or so, nursing becomes negotiable (where we nurse, for how long,twiddling, Mom's shirt stays down over unused breast, etc etc). This is natural. All mammals who nurse long-term do this. It is a relationship. Nursing a toddler does not mean the child runs all over you and your feelings of discomfort.

A nursing toddler must learning nursing manners. *How Weaning Happens* and *Mothering your Nursing Toddler* go into great detail about the nurisng relationship as your child grows.

Thank you for answering my question! And thanks to MamaallNatural for addressing my post, too. It is nice to see this stated so matter-of-factly, as reading around here sometimes I feel like an oddball for not loving nursing all the time anymore.

I have read through both of those books, but I will have to give them a read through again.

I realized this week I needed to do something when I am online and this smilie in my sig







that I thought was so cute is now irritating me and reminding me I feel so...cow-like and used lately! My new goal (assuming ds doesn't wean before then) is 3. From there, we'll see...


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## momma2mingbu (Jun 1, 2002)

my son self-weaned at 41 mos
oldest daughter self-weaned during PG at about 22 mos
youngest daughter is still going strong at almost 17 mos

3.5 years was about right _*for me*_. (I'm supportive of however long anyone else wants to go.) We were at a good balance where he was having his needs met and the relationship was still comfortable for me. I can't imagine _*myself*_ going much past 4 years, but you never know.

I felt that my DD1 weaned herself too early due to my pregnancy. (she didn't like the colostrum) I'm hoping for _*at least 3 years*_ again this time around with DD2.


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## huntersmommy (Dec 28, 2003)

I will nurse till my dd is ready to stop. I am following her lead completely.
I remember when I was pregnant thinking I'll nurse till about 9-12 mths caue that is when babies stop nursing right?
It almost didn't even enter my mind that you would stop your baby from nursing if they wanted to.
One of dd friends who is 4 just loves to watch her nurse and has asked her mother on many occasions why she doesn't nurse. It is almost like she misses it even though, thru no lack of trying, just lack of proper support and information she stopped nursing at a very young age. Which I might add broke her mothers heart.
I love that dd friends think it is soo cool that she nurses.


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

when our first was born and we made a committment not to vax, i made a commitment to nurse a minimum of 2 years, then re-assess at that point. well, when dd reached 20 months, i got pg, she started to bite A LOT and so i began to wean her, which was an easy, natural process (i now look back and i can see that for my dd, the biting was her way of saying she was done nursing, she just didn't know how to end the relationship). in the end, it was dd who chose her last nursing session (at 23 months). i knew tandem nursing was not gonna be for me, so i knew i wanted her totally weaned months before baby arrived. in the end she said she was giving her milky to baby.







so sweet. weaning turned out to be such a positive thing for dd, especially regarding her willingness to receive comfort from people other than me. her relationship with dh literally blossomed the day after she stopped nursing. in hindsight, continuing to nurse her longer than 2 yrs. would not have been healthy for her (edited to add: what i mean is it would not have been _psychologically-socially-emotionally_ healthy for her to continue nursing. i wanted to make sure it didn't sound like i thought continuing to nurse would not have continued to be _physically_ healthy indefinitely).

now i'm nursing ds and he is 15 months. i am really feeling done with nursing at this point (been pg and/or nursing since feb. 2000, and i'd like my body back, plus i'd like to reclaim my breasts as sexual objects and as MINE, which dh wouldn't mind either!







) so since my minimum commitment to myself and my babies is 24 months, i will continue another 9 months (or so), but i would not be willing to go past 2 yrs. we aren't having any more children, but i believe i'd not go past 2 years for future children, as well.


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

i forgot to add that my absolute cut-off for night nursing is 1 year old. both of my kids woke about every 1-2 hours for the first year of theri lives. that is about all i can take. we do the dr. jay gordon nightweaning, and i get my sanity back, plus it helps me not get totally burned out on nursing altogether.


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## Gab'sfamily2004 (Feb 25, 2004)

I say 1.5 years. Seriously. My baby is 15 months and I am READY to wean
him, he might not be ready, but I think it'd be better for him to have a sane mom around.


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## amyandelle (Jul 5, 2004)

Before Elle was born I said 1 year but now that she is here and we are not vaxing I will bf at least until she is 2.
Amy


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## sntm (Jan 1, 2004)

I think I would be uncomfortable after 3, but I didn't see myself nursing until 2, which is my current goal, so who knows?

My comfort level for other people is higher, and while some of the long-long term EBFing makes me a little uncomfortable, I recognize that it is my issues and not theirs -- I don't think it is wrong, just weird for me , KWIM?

Too long for me to read all the responses!


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## Gab'sfamily2004 (Feb 25, 2004)

Oh, my God, I saw the picture of your adorable son in your website and he looked so much like my Adam, our angel is 15 months. I couldn't help loving seeing your baby's picture, he is very beautiful


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bunny's mama*
when our first was born and we made a committment not to vax, i made a commitment to nurse a minimum of 2 years, then re-assess at that point. well, when dd reached 20 months, i got pg, she started to bite A LOT and so i began to wean her, which was an easy, natural process (i now look back and i can see that for my dd, the biting was her way of saying she was done nursing, she just didn't know how to end the relationship). in the end, it was dd who chose her last nursing session (at 23 months). i knew tandem nursing was not gonna be for me, so i knew i wanted her totally weaned months before baby arrived. in the end she said she was giving her milky to baby.







so sweet. weaning turned out to be such a positive thing for dd, especially regarding her willingness to receive comfort from people other than me. her relationship with dh literally blossomed the day after she stopped nursing. in hindsight, continuing to nurse her longer than 2 yrs. would not have been healthy for her =.

Just wanted to comment here. Your dd may have nursed happily for much longer had you not been pg and your milk dried up to a trickle. She may have been objecting to the slow flow, not to bfing per se. I did wean 2 of mine while pg (sore nipples), but my third and last child nursed much longer b/c I had a full supply until it gradually lessened as he really needed it less.

So her emotional response and habit of biting may have been out of frustration, not b/c toddler nursing is emotionally unhealthy. See the difference?

I am not saying you were wrong to discourage nursing (many people understandably wean while pg), just pointing out the pregnancy/lactation connection.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gab'sfamily2004*
I say 1.5 years. Seriously. My baby is 15 months and I am READY to wean
him, he might not be ready, but I think it'd be better for him to have a sane mom around.

GF, why are you so ready to wean? What is making you "insane?"

Sometimes partial weaning helps moms get their sanity back. It might not be neccessary to fully wean. Toddlers receive so many benefits from nursing til 2 yrs old.

FYI:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DaryLLL*
Just wanted to comment here. Your dd may have nursed happily for much longer had you not been pg and your milk dried up to a trickle. She may have been objecting to the slow flow, not to bfing per se. I did wean 2 of mine while pg (sore nipples), but my third and last child nursed much longer b/c I had a full supply until it gradually lessened as he really needed it less.

So her emotional response and habit of biting may have been out of frustration, not b/c toddler nursing is emotionally unhealthy. See the difference?

I am not saying you were wrong to discourage nursing (many people understandably wean while pg), just pointing out the pregnancy/lactation connection.

oh, i think i was misunderstood. i didn't mean that i believe toddler nursing, in general, is emotionally unhealthy. what i meant was that in retrospect, my dd just seemed to blossom socially and emotionally literally the day after she stopped nursing. while she was nursing, she absolutely refused comfort from anyone other than me (even her father), and also could not stand to be away from me for even the shortest time (i used to cook dinne revery night with her in the kelty backpack, because she had to be physcially on my person or would stand screaming at my feet). lots of other things, too. but all this really changed when she weaned. now, you might say that maybe this was all just a developmental phase and maybe her weaning happened to coincide with a time when she was naturally ready to be more independent, but as we all know our own children, i know instinctively as her mother, that it our nursing relationship, as lovely and beneficial as it was for the first 2 years of her life, would not have benefited her (except physically, of course) had we continued longer.

the biting part, yes, my lack of milk due to pg may have defnintely played a part, but again, it is my intuition as her mother, and also with the benefit of retrospect, that tells me that her biting was her way of telling me she wanted to stop nursing.

again, i'm speaking for my specific situation. i'm not saying that all toddlers who bite are signalling a desire to wean, or that all toddlers who nurse are not open to more independence or comfort from others...i'm just saying that this was the choice that was best for our particular situation. my dd is nearly 4 years old now, and i just could not imagine nursing her now. seems so foreign to me. but i'm not saying that there is anything wrong with another mama making the choice to continue nursing a child of the same age (one interesting thing is that suseyblue and i were pg and posting here on these boards back in the summer of 2000 with our first children. now her ds is continuing to nurse, and mine is long weaned. it is really neat to see how different mamas meet the needs of our very different children).


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