# Is "hate" an inappropriate / "bad" word?



## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

I brought dd to a friend's 5 yr. old birthday party, and when one of the kids said "I hate ___ " her mother got very angry and said, "What did you say?? We DON'T use that word!!"

FTR the child was expressing her distaste for a certain song or snack, I don't quite remember, but she wasn't saying "I hate you" or "I hate that kid".

From what I could tell, the mother's reaction was not simply about the child not being rude, it was about the word "hate".

It never occurred to me that a child might not be allowed to even use the word. Is this word forbidden for some families?


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

In our family "hate" is a bad word. We don't punish our children for saying it, but we do correct them. If it is about food, we have them change their language to say "it's not for me" so we don't hurt anyone's feelings about their food preparation. We never say we hate another person, but it is okay to say we don't like the things they do. Hate is such a strong word and it makes me cringe to hear it. I've met children who "hate" everything and I would rather my children use more descriptive words or less hurtful language when describing their feelings.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

Hate is a strong word in our family. I can't say we bar the word, but yes, it is strongly discouraged. "don't like" or "dislike" would definitely be preferable in this situation. I most definitely don't like to hear it, just like I don't like to hear the words "shut up".


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Call me inconsistent, but I don't think I could ever reprove a child for using the word... if he was talking about licorice. Seriously, 'don't like' is just not strong enough an expression for how I feel about the stuff. I _hate_ licorice. I really do.








No, really, I'm not keen on the word, but I don't think it'd bug me unless the child was using it constantly, indiscriminately, trivially or in a manner calculated to offend. Saying 'I hate you' to one's parents, not OK; saying 'I hate [food/song/TVshow]' 100 times a day, also not OK. But the odd 'Grrr, my hair just won't go into a ponytail--I hate it when that happens!', or 'I hate having blood tests'--doesn't bug me.


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## woobysma (Apr 20, 2004)

I correct my kids when they say it and remind them that it's a strong word and one that shouldn't be used to describe your mild dislike of celery or whatever else you might be fixated on at the moment.

I think "hate" is a word that's thrown around lightly in our society, which (imo) leads to a lot of the problems we see in the world - mainly the apparent ease with which adults decide they hate anything that's different or outside their comfort area and then act accordingly









I might be a bit dramatic, but I honestly think that words have power and "hate" is one that should be researved for very extreme circumstances.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

I was asked to change my original comment because it offended people.

So...I'll say this - it's not a forbidden word in our home. Hate does apply to how I feel about certain political ideologies because I find them offensive and cruel to various groups of people. I use hate in reference to those ideas I think are harmful and at times in reference to the politicians and pundits who espouse them.


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## OakBerry (May 24, 2005)

No words are forbidden in our house. I do discuss the impact of certain words though. Ds knows it's not ok to tell a friend or family he hates them, but it's perfectly o.k. for him to hate broccoli or whatever. I say it, so I think it's silly that he can't.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I don't have any problem with my daughter using the word "hate". I've never heard her use that word about a person. If she did, I'd probably ask a few more questions and try to figure out just what was going on, but I wouldn't get upset or expect her to change how she communicates her feelings.

Edited to clarify: If she told me she hated someone, I'd try to figure out what was going on. If I heard her tell another child she hated her/him, I'd react the same way I do if I think she's hurt another child's feelings in some other way - ask her to empathize and think of other ways to say what she wants to say without hurting feelings.


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## CommonSenseMother (Jan 29, 2008)

Hate is a bad word in our family too.


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treemom2* 
In our family "hate" is a bad word. We don't punish our children for saying it, but we do correct them. If it is about food, we have them change their language to say "it's not for me" so we don't hurt anyone's feelings about their food preparation. We never say we hate another person, but it is okay to say we don't like the things they do. Hate is such a strong word and it makes me cringe to hear it. I've met children who "hate" everything and I would rather my children use more descriptive words or less hurtful language when describing their feelings.









:

I think that "hate" is a really ugly word, makes me think of hate literature, promoting hate against ethnic groups, genocide etc. I strongly discourage it, by explaining how I feel about the word and asking children to rephrase in a more acceptable manner.

I find that especially when children are in groups, any use of the word "hate" proliferates. It starts with food, maybe, which as someone else noted can hurt the cook's feelings and is never good manners. Then they start using it about people and that is where the ugliness really manifests.

I want to live in a world of love. Too much "hate", even too much use of the word, disturbs my peace and crowds the love out.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Hate is a powerful word. We don't forbid it, partly because I think that's a tad ridiculous and dislike the banning of words, but when it pops up, I try to talk to the boys about why they're using it. We search for the real feelings behind the outburst, and always examine the things that *really* deserve our hate.

There are things to hate. Removing the word doesn't remove the emotion. Understanding the intensity of the word and when it's appropriate to use it can aid us in understanding ourselves and others, which can ultimately lead to love.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

"Hate" is just an ordinary word in our house. Like Smokering, I don't just dislike licorice, I _hate_ it. I hate it when I accidentally bite the inside of my mouth, I hate making small talk, I hate black flies. I've even known a few people I hated.

At around 1.5, DS learned the word "hate" and used it to mean "dislike" or "don't want." He said, "Hate!" a hundred times a day - when I tried to wipe his face, or offered him some food he wasn't in the mood for, or tried to distract him with something he didn't want. I thought it was cute and it always made me smile. (Though it did make me realize perhaps I shouldn't have used the word _quite_ so lightly.)

I suspect I am in the minority, at least at MDC.


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## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *theatermom* 
Hate is a powerful word. We don't forbid it, partly because I think that's a tad ridiculous and dislike the banning of words, but when it pops up, I try to talk to the boys about why they're using it. We search for the real feelings behind the outburst, and always examine the things that *really* deserve our hate.

There are things to hate. *Removing the word doesn't remove the emotion.* Understanding the intensity of the word and when it's appropriate to use it can aid us in understanding ourselves and others, which can ultimately lead to love.

This is a great post, and it sums up my thinking as well.


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## Sexybookworm (Feb 5, 2008)

I wasn't allowed to use that word growing up.


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## rrible (Feb 1, 2007)

We weren't allowed to use the word growing up, either. The way I remember my mom explaining it to me was "hate is a very strong word. it means you want kill or destroy something." while I don't necessarily agree it means that exactly, that statement from when i couldn't have been older than 6 or 7 has stuck with me.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I've heard a lot of people forbidding "hate", but it seems silly to me. I remember my mom reacting negatively to that word when I was a child, and it just made me hate what or who ever I'd been talking about even more.

As an adult, there are lots of things and quite a few people that I hate. Why would I expect my kid to have weaker emotions than me?


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *theatermom* 
Hate is a powerful word. We don't forbid it, partly because I think that's a tad ridiculous and dislike the banning of words, but when it pops up, I try to talk to the boys about why they're using it. We search for the real feelings behind the outburst, and always examine the things that *really* deserve our hate.

There are things to hate. Removing the word doesn't remove the emotion. Understanding the intensity of the word and when it's appropriate to use it can aid us in understanding ourselves and others, which can ultimately lead to love.

I agree with this.

DD goes through phases of using this word, usually right after a growth spurt, when she is struggling to feel centered in her new body/brain.

I usually try to find out what is really going on when she is "hating" something or someone.

Unfortunately Daddy is frequently a target for "I hate" speech. Usually what she is struggling to say is that she hates the change in the vibe of the house when Daddy comes home. DD struggles with transitions and DH comes home unpredictably in the evenings (any where from 3pm to 9pm). He is also not the best at easing this transition for her.

I just don't get uptight about the actual words my preschooler is using. She is still learning language and can not always accurately describe her feelings. At times the best she can do is "I love ____!" or "I hate ____!" My job as a parent is to help her clarify her feelings and teacher her the words that better reflect those feelings. Censoring her words only gets in the way of that. I feel confident that what she is an adult she will not be using the word hate as broadly and as casually as she does at the age of 4.


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## aussiemum (Dec 20, 2001)

I'm not a fan of censoring genuine opinion (& so my kids do swear at times







: ) but I don't like to hear them say they hate something living & I actively discourage it.

SHouting in frustration 'I hate this sock!' is a different thing, although I do try to encourage 'I am so frustrated with this sock!'.


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

I never thought about it much before. I fall on the side of wanting DS to feel free to express his emotions, but I also can really understand the POV of encouraging more descriptive or diplomatic language, really as a manners kind of thing.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

towards thing hate is acceptable
towards actions that is being used acceptable
towards people not acceptable


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## abi&ben'smom (Oct 28, 2007)

Doesn't bother me. (Of course I don't ever direct it toward anyone.)


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

around here we never say it about people but about stuff we don't care.


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## whetu (Sep 11, 2007)

I like the post about using the word "Frustrated" instead of "Hate".

I read somewhere that instead of saying things in praise like GOOD BOY or GOOD GIRL , if you explain to the child what they are doing good then they will learn more about what their doing to be GOOD.

Meaning that if they say they "HATE" something, then teach them how to communicate this without saying HATE. Their more likely to solve what they HATE and never have to use the word or think negatively about a situation.


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## Petronella (Aug 22, 2007)

If you're not talking about a person, I just don't see the problem. Even when dd uses 'hate' pretty often, I don't much mind because there are some things she _hates_. There are some things that I _hate_. And when I say it, I don't mean it in the context of _hatred of other people_. Dd can say it like that, but I'll probably just gently ask, "Really?" and she'll rethink. Hatred of another human being is bad. Hating your friend's dog that always tries to bite you, hating popping a chocolate into your mouth to find it's cherry cordial (a flavour I - well you know!), or hating it when people bash your favourite movie - that seems okay.


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## Petronella (Aug 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littlemizflava* 
towards thing hate is acceptable
towards actions that is being used acceptable
towards people not acceptable


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

In our house growing up we were not allowed to say Hate or Starving. I could not say,"Mom, can I eat something? I'm STARVING!"

She would go, "you don't know what starving *is*, Karina Jane!" Of course she was right.

My DH always gives me a hard time if I say "I'm starving" (in a funny, good-natured way). He thinks it's hilarious that "starving" was a bad word.

Oh, and he was not allowed to say "Hate" either and his parents are very opposite of mine in general.

Seems to be a common "rule" to not be able to say Hate.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *karina5* 
My DH always gives me a hard time if I say "I'm starving" (in a funny, good-natured way).

My DP always responds to "I'm starving" with, "Nice to meet you. I'm Mikey."


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## Sage_SS (Jun 1, 2007)

In our house "hate" is an inappropriate word. Our kids don't get in trouble for using it, but they are reminded that there are very, very few situations in thier life that would warrant the use of such a word.

I don't think many people give the power of words enough thought or credit.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

bottom line for me? I hate hate. I can't think of anything really I feel that strongly about, that I would actually use the word hate. Hate conjures up some really strong emotions for me, things like killing people, acting really badly towards others, subjecting people to some pretty awful things. I can't think of disliking something like green peppers as something I hate, even though I really don't like them. btw, I LOVE black licorice.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

It's absolutely not a bad word or inappropriate in and of itself. Of course my kids have always been free to use actual swear words, so that might skew things a bit coming from me.

I think hate, like so many other words, has the potential to create hurt feelings, and that is worth discussing with the kids. I'd never forbid it though.


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

it's a very descriptive word.

i once hated someone. i'm not proud to admit that but i did. her name made me cringe and i hated the thought of the city she lived in to the point that mention of austin texas pissed me off! pretty pitiful if you ask me. once i got over the guy she was sleeping with i got over the hate.

i hate a couple of ideas.

how else are those emotions to be discussed. they are real and i'm just not spiritually evolved enough to not have them.

i want my child to understand the difference between hate and dislike. misunderstanding that could lead to a child thinking that an antisemit for example, hating jews was the same as not liking the kid who makes dumb jokes in circle time.

i would never bar the word but i would instruct the child consistently and strongly on its proper use.


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## SimpleJoys (Sep 13, 2007)

To me the word hate is wounding when a child says that to a person or becomes hooked on it when he can't think of anything else to say. For instance, I hate Daddy when he chews loud at the table. I hate you Mommy when I can't watch tv all night, I hate my brother all the time because he gets the best toys. I hate going to grandma's, I hate running errands with you. Hating something often goes hand in hand with selfishness and willfullness. It eats at the heart of the hater. What we think, feel and say is who we are as humans.


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## aussiemum (Dec 20, 2001)

Hmmm.... yes, it's almost like the 'hate' is a lazy short-hand word to use to describe how you are really feeling. For example, one way I might say 'hate' is 'Gad, I really hate having to go shopping.' And it's shorthand for how I feel about shopping in general: I don't like the crowds, the advertising everywhere bothers me, I find it annoying to have to hop in & out of the car if we are going several places, I can never seem to find what I am really looking for when it comes to clothes, etc. etc. I just really find shopping to be such a chore, & I get lazy & say I hate it..... But do I really hate it?? Hmmm....

ANyway, random ramblings from me there. Carry on.


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## Mosaic (Jun 20, 2005)

I never thought about it all that much, but I hear what you're saying about just not being a very descriptive, useful word. I am pretty particular about foul language, but "hate" is one that doesn't bother me so much.

However, it absolutely bothers DP, so it's out. Now if only I could get him to be just as bothered with Spanish curse words, we'd be all set.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heather8* 
I never thought about it all that much, but I hear what you're saying about just not being a very descriptive, useful word. I am pretty particular about foul language, but "hate" is one that doesn't bother me so much.

However, it absolutely bothers DP, so it's out. Now if only I could get him to be just as bothered with Spanish curse words, we'd be all set.









Ahhh, but I LOVE Spanish curse words!!


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## faerierose (Jul 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
I've heard a lot of people forbidding "hate", but it seems silly to me. I remember my mom reacting negatively to that word when I was a child, and it just made me hate what or who ever I'd been talking about even more.

As an adult, there are lots of things and quite a few people that I hate. Why would I expect my kid to have weaker emotions than me?

ITA
If don't mind the word, I might rephrase something if one of my little ones uses it in a hurtful way. My sister FREAKS if her ds says it and he says it all the time now.


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## Brigianna (Mar 13, 2006)

I think it's the sentiment that matters, not the word. If you think someone is a f---ing s---head, the sentiment doesn't become much kinder if you say "freaking poophead" instead. If your sentiment is one of hate, it doesn't much matter whether you say "hate" or "revile" or "despise" or "loathe" or search the thesaurus for alternatives to the h-word.

We talk about anger. We talk about loving all people even when we are angry at them. We talk about the difference between judging actions and judging people. We talk about the fact that everyone struggles with this, kids and grownups alike.

Dd (8 yrs) will usually say "I hate his actions" rather than "I hate him," but if she does say the other, I certainly don't punish her for it. And she's free to hate objects, places, and abstract concepts to her heart's content.

Ds (almost 5) is still learning the power and meaning of words, and he has moments of hate. Don't we all have moments or days when we just hate everything in sight? It's very frustrating to be 4, so it's understandable that he would have those days.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Hate is a feeling. Love, like, am neutral about, dislike, hate, loathe.... Hate is a clear description about how you feel about something. I don't think feelings should be suppressed or denied.

Personally I hate liverpolsti (mashed pigs liver). The smell, the taste, the texture; it makes me gag. It is a national dish, so I have tried it many times. Saying I dislike it is not accurate. The correct word is hate. I suppose I could say repugnant instead, but I don't see why that word would be better in any way. I hate several corporations, meaning not the people that work there but their policies. In my life I have hated a rare few people as well. Most often this dulls with time, but no, I am not perfect, and I really hated them. If my kids decide they hate liverpolsti, or ice cream, or memorizing their multiplication tables, or a specific person for a valid reason, then they are entitled to their feeling and entitled to express it without shame.


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## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

In my home my children are not allowed to say I hate anybody. As for the word hate, I discourage the use of it. I tell my children that hate is such a strong word and to use dislike instead.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I wonder where the idea that it's bad to use "strong" words or words that express very clear displeasure and dislike came from. Why is it better to use dislike as opposed to hate?

From Websters:
Dislike is
_1: a feeling of aversion or disapproval_

and hate is:
_1 a: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury_

Those are different things to me I guess.

I worry that sometimes there is a tendency or need to "soften" up the things that kids feel or say, or that we may give them the idea that the only strong feelings which are acceptable are the positives (love, happiness, excitement, etc).

It doesn't work for me at all.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

yep, they are different, aren't they? Does the def. for hate apply to something like broccoli? Or black licorice? I guess if you had been beaten with broccoli or black licorice as child it might apply, but when does intense hostility and aversion derived from fear, anger, or sense of injury apply to something like a song or snack? I guess there could be rare examples of someone having been beaten while a song was playing? But come on? I think the definitions are quite accurate, and I think the word hate is overused and misused by most. If I say I hate Nazis, that might be accurate, if a jew said it, I could totally see that being accurate. But that isn't how the word is commonly used, is it? Strong feelings are totally acceptable, negative or otherwise, I am not attempting to soften anything, only point out to my child that hate is a very strong word, and usually dislike is more appropriate. I don't hate cantaloupe, I merely dislike it. Hmm, things I hate? Oh yeah, hate. I guess I just don't have much intense hostility, and frankly I hope my child never sees a need to have intense hostility either. Aversion seems more likely, but again, I hope that my child might not have aversion derived from fear, anger, or sense of injury.

Oh and fyi, not trying to be as argumentative as this came off


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## littlelentils (Feb 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sexybookworm* 
I wasn't allowed to use that word growing up.

ditto.


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

DS just decided on his own that 'hate' was a bad word and he's never used it. When we did Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons he used to whisper 'hate' when he had to read it and get really uncomfortable (he even did that with the words 'fat' and 'gas' too - lol). He's almost 9 and has never used the word.

If I had another child who was more bold with language than DS is, though, I would discourage the use of the word 'hate'.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
I was asked to change my original comment because it offended people.

I didn't see your original post, but have seen part of it quoted - and laughed. I think people can be too PC.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sexybookworm* 
I wasn't allowed to use that word growing up.

I wasn't either - but I let my kids use it. My mom would freak out when I'd use that word - but my immediate response would be MORE anger, hatred, whatever you want to call it for the person or situation that prompted me to use that word in the first place.

If my kids say "I hate my sister!", I respond with "Wow, you are really mad. What happened?" Later, when they calm down, we discuss how saying that could hurt her sister's feelings a lot, and there is usually an apology and a hug between sisters. "I'm sorry I said I hated you; I was really mad that you broke my art project." "I'm really sorry I broke your art project; I shouldn't have been playing with it."

I don't let them say they hate food that someone has prepared and is sitting on the table. Here we say "No thanks - I don't prefer brussel sprouts." Just in normal conversation in the car on the way to the grocery store - to say "I hate low fat mayo" doesn't bother me in the least.

However, the word fat isn't in our accepted household vocabulary. Neither is retard/retarded or gay used in a negative way. I can't think of any others.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten* 
If my kids say "I hate my sister!", I respond with "Wow, you are really mad. What happened?"

when i hear that i say you dont hate ____ you hate there actions what did they do what happened but you dont hate them you love them you just hate that that happened


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## joeymama (Nov 6, 2005)

I think "hate" and "love" are so overused in our society that we start to become desensitized to them. I try to teach my children that "hate" is a powerful word like I "hate" war I hate child abusers, just as love is a powerful word I love you or I love mommy, we don't love ice cream or this tv show. Overuse of any word devalues the meaning. I want my children to realize that language holds power and I want them to learn to use it correctly. At the same time there is no punishment for using the word hate just a discussion on the power in their choice of words. I try to explain that that word can cause pain if used incorrectly. If he is saying I hate a certain food, I try to tell him that is to powerful for the situation and next time lets try another way to express our feelings about tomatoes. Just like love love is a powerful word that can bring pain if used incorrectly or insincerely


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

If most of the people around you casually use "hate" and "love" to describe their feelings about things like ice cream or licorice, I'm not sure you're doing your kids any favors by teaching them that usage is wrong. If your personal definition of a word is at odds with the way it's usually used, insisting on that definition is not going to help you communicate effectively.


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## MilkbarMom (Mar 28, 2003)

Hate is a very ugly word in our house, and I encourage the girls to use more appropriate words: dislike, don't care for, etc.


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## kamilla626 (Mar 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *UnschoolnMa* 
I wonder where the idea that it's bad to use "strong" words or words that express very clear displeasure and dislike came from. Why is it better to use dislike as opposed to hate?

...I worry that sometimes there is a tendency or need to "soften" up the things that kids feel or say, or that we may give them the idea that the only strong feelings which are acceptable are the positives (love, happiness, excitement, etc).

I'm thinking the same thing.

For those of you that forbid or discourage use of the word "hate", how do you respond if your child says "I hate that when I'm feeling an intense negative emotion, you don't let me use certain words."

or even... "Mom, I hate censorship"?

Some of you have said that the word is forbidden or discouraged because it's an "ugly" word. Are your children allowed to say "I dislike your shirt mom, it's ugly!"?

I'm all for giving kids an extensive and flexible vocabulary, but sometimes "hate" is the best word.

I hate most types of seafood. I hate Rod Stewart's music.


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## Einley (Jul 12, 2003)

In my view, words are just words. You know sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me (names, words, whatever).

Intention means a lot more than words to do me. You can say something sweet as sugar with not one swear or "inappropriate" word and the intentions behind these words could be cruel. That is what matters to me. I hope that makes sense.

My kids are taught in school that different words are not okay to use ever. I disagree, but my kids seem to think their teachers know more than me so they listen to them.
I'm sure they'll come around to my thinking eventually


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## Astoria (May 27, 2004)

I don't mind my little people struggling with very big powerful overwhelming feelings using strong language. I don't like cursing, but I know they need to find big strong words to say stuff, to express their feelings of vulnerability, or lack of control, or frustration with the world and their smallness. I would redirect them if they ever used "hate" about a person or animal, but not in a shaming way. I'd help them to clarify what it is they hate. Not "I hate so-and so" but "I hate it when so-and-so hits me" or "I hate it when so-and-so leaves me out." And when they say, "I hate green peppers." I don't mind that at all. Because maybe it is a mild dislike, but actually sometimes, parents can make you feel like you are supposed to like something, or try it, or put it in your mouth, and the feeling of really not wanting it in your body can feel like "I hate green peppers!" And that's cool with me.

(As an aside, I don't like cursing at all. And my almost three year old was picking up "d*mn it" from somewhere. And so I kept redirecting to "darn it." One day, he dropped something on his foot and said "d*mn it." And I said, "you mean darn it." And he looked at me with so much exasperation and mumbled "toy ... mumble mumble ... foot ... mumble mumble ... ouch! ... mumble mumble ... d*mn it!" sort of saying "see mom I am using the word correctly. And I really couldn't fault him -- I mean, he's right: toy, foot, ouch, expletive.







I laid off, but was beyond relieved when he forgot about that phrase and stopped using it!)


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

I had to come back to this thread to add that as a child/teenager, I found it extremely frustrating and degrading to be *told* what I was or was not feeling or thinking. I still cringe when I hear the words, "No, you don't feel/think/want fill-in-the-blank" coming from a parent's mouth. This is my own issue, of course, but I find it more effective to help children explore and define their own feelings than to try to tell them that they don't really hate something or love something or what-have-you. Often they don't mean "hate", but sometimes they do.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Quote:

If most of the people around you casually use "hate" and "love" to describe their feelings about things like ice cream or licorice
Oh, it's not casual--I really, really hate licorice!







It fills me with loathing and revulsion; even thinking about it makes me shudder. It might seem a petty thing upon which to expend hate, but there just ain't no other word for it--I hate the stuff!

I do agree with your point though. Seems kind of bizarre to teach your children 'hate means you want to kill someone' when everyone in the vicinity is using it to mean 'strongly dislike'.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
Oh, it's not casual--I really, really hate licorice!







It fills me with loathing and revulsion; even thinking about it makes me shudder. It might seem a petty thing upon which to expend hate, but there just ain't no other word for it--I hate the stuff!

I do agree with your point though. Seems kind of bizarre to teach your children 'hate means you want to kill someone' when everyone in the vicinity is using it to mean 'strongly dislike'.

I LOVE licorice. Had licorice ice cream 3-4 times a week when pregnant. And yes, a food can be loved or hated. Try fish that has been bathed in booze, buried in the snow to rot and ferment for 6 months, and then tell me hate is not an appropriate word!

As a pp said, small kids may say hate because they can not yet say "I find the taste repugnant."

Maybe hate is overused, but sometimes love is overused as well. I think it is unbalanced to "allow" children to say love 20 times a day, but repress hate. I am thinking it is cultural. Danish people rarely say "hate", "despise".... but they also rarely say "love" Maybe it is an either/or thing?


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Alright hold the thread. Did you say licorice ice cream?







Tell me this is sold in the US.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

So, people use the word "hate" figuratively rather than literally. People use tons of words figuratively. Including, as pointed out above, "love". I don't literally love lots of things that I say I love. I also sometimes say I did something a million times already when I maybe only did it 6 or 7 times. And that something only took a second when it maybe took two minutes. Figurative language isn't bad or wrong.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
So, people use the word "hate" figuratively rather than literally. People use tons of words figuratively. Including, as pointed out above, "love". I don't literally love lots of things that I say I love. I also sometimes say I did something a million times already when I maybe only did it 6 or 7 times. And that something only took a second when it maybe took two minutes. Figurative language isn't bad or wrong.

ITA, and I think this is such a good point.


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