# "WHAT?!?!" Those Things Nobody Warns You About....



## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

What have you learned about pregnancy/birth that you NEVER heard mentioned, but thought to yourself, "Wow, that would have been nice to be warned about."

Example 1: Gristastic's (and many others) leaking urine surprise.

Example 2: Everyone tells you their story and then SWEARS your preg/birth will be _exactly_ like it.

Your turn.


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## mum2tori (Apr 7, 2003)

Not exactly pregnancy/birth but...

Would have been nice if someone had mentioned that after the first week the baby's skin will peel like a snake.

















Talk about scare a couple of newbie parents with the great mottling newborn. :LOL :LOL

I'll have to think about the others. I know the list was long the first time. :LOL :LOL


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

My 2 big ones are that you can throw up while in labor and that you poop when you are pushing.


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## plantmommy (Jun 7, 2004)

The extra hair. I mean, not the kind on your head, but everywhere else. I thank the goddess that the hair on my face is so fair it's hardly visible, but those 3" hairs on the areola, although there aren't many of them, are still not a nice thing!

It's like "HUNH?! Where did that come from, and when did it show up?"

The drastic changes in sex drive, going up or down, or alternating. The pluses and minuses. (Like, vaginal moisture or dryness, prenatal and postpartum.)


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## Soontobe3 (May 1, 2004)

the pooping during the birth process would have been nice to know! (it makes sense, but a forwarning would have been nice)

the gooey vaginal discharge that little girls have in the week after birth ( I freaked out!!)


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## mum2tori (Apr 7, 2003)

Tag MOLES!!!







:







:

Ugh would have been nice to know that those are normal from the hormones. Especially on my neck... and my breasts. Used one on the areola with DD to know if she was latched on properly. :LOL :LOL


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Varicose veins where they shouldn't be! I went to the bathroom one day, and freaked out







: my scream brought DH running in!


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## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

It would have been nice to know that some women have BFing pain, even if they're doing everything right.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

Well, this isn't quite the same thing but it brought back this memory...

Okay, first of all I'm adopted, so I'd never heard stories about my birth, or anybody else's for that matter, only what I'd seen in biology class...

So I'm watching this TV show, and this woman gets impregnated by an alien posing as a human (okay, that part isn't pertinent, just that she's pregnant, lol). She's very pregnant, and standing in the shopping aisle of the grocery store, when all of a sudden the camera focuses on the lower half of her body. There's this big "SPLOOSH" and it looks like someone dumped a bucket of water out from between her legs (she's wearing a dress). It goes on the floor, splashes her legs, etc...and she says "oh, my water broke, better get to the hospital".

I was horrified. I ran to my mother: "what's this about water breaking?!!"..she explains to me that it's part of the labour/birth process (for what little she knows about it). I was like "geez, what if that happens in public??!! how embarassing???" (okay, keep in mind I was about 15 years old).

I mean, I was seriously traumatized by this and all I could say over and over again was "they never tell you this stuff!! it's a big plot to make us all get pregnant and THEN deal with it! when I get pregnant, I am not leaving the house for the last MONTH in case my water breaks in public!!".

And while I know that sometimes it's just a long trickle, to this day I fear having my water break in public. :LOL


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Puking and pooping.

I heard and old midwives saying while I was pregnant, "The baby isn't coming until you smell the poop" or something like that. I really wanted to be prepared for that and I wanted DH to know about it. So, I asked my MW and she said it was really, really uncommon








I had lots of poop, which even through the pain and an emergency transfer and 4 hours of pushing, I was still embarrassed about.

And the vomiting completely exhausted me ~ I went about every 30 minutes for over 8 hours. I will plan another HB but I'm having prescription anti-nausea drugs available at home.

Yea, I would have liked to be prepared for those things.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Piglet, I love the name Sasha!


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## Caroline248 (Nov 22, 2003)

How about just pain in general...I was young with my first and I guess noone wanted to scare me. Everyone said childbirth isn't that bad and not as painful as the books and movies make it out to be....well, I was terrorfied that I was dying when I was in labor..I was having all this PAIN!!!! My next labor wasn't as bad, I think becasue I knew what to expect....

Caroline


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

Ummmm, so how does one prevent the pooping???? Perhaps an enema as soon as labour begins????


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## SharonAnne (Jul 12, 2004)

I think they used to do that. An enema, I mean. My mom said she had one with me, but my brother, four years later, came too fast for ANYTHING


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## Threefold (Nov 27, 2001)

The skin tags.








Meconium poop in a newborn (It's easier to get warm tar off the bottom of your shoe).








The fact that your belly button never skrinks back to it's former size.








The fact that after years of breastfeeding your breasts can actually end up smaller than they were originally (not a happy prospect for a barely "B" cup).
















But it's all worth it!


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## linnea (Feb 20, 2004)

My "Wish I Knew"s are all post-birth... I wish someone had told me about some of the minor but extremely irritating complications of giving birth. The two that still plague me are a seperated pubic bone (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction) and... well, this one is gross, and there's no delicate way to put it. Anal fissure. Augh.








:


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## AmandasMom (Nov 19, 2001)

The most embarrassing thing for me was having to have nurses change my pad and the pad on my bed because I bled so heavily after. After I was able to stand (had CS), i would overflow the pad and bled on the floor and down my leg and gawd it is so humiliating to have someone clean me and the mess i made up. I even made DH look away.


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

So uh, how common is vomitng during labor? I read a lot of birth stories, and I've only heard it mentioned a couple of times. I really hate puking, and would really rather not do that in labor. (or ever!)


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

Afterpains!!!!! I had this wonderful, all-natural waterbirth with virtually no-pain and then about DIED from the afterpains. I couldn't even nurse because everytime she would nurse the pain was UNBEARABLE and I would just break down in tears. This lasted for almost 2 days (until I got some STRONG meds!) I would have given birth 10x's over rather then deal with the afterpains.


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## tug (Jun 16, 2003)

persephone - i think the puking is pretty common. and the poo. ugh to both of them. i sort of knew but had sort of blocked it out. yeah yeah, all natural but gosh, couldn't it be a little less icky!! and that is after all of the leaking water, hairy body, skin tags, mucous plug, and other pregnancy gore.

i wish someone had warned me about the "clean up" after birth. once the placenta came out there was some major housecleaning by the OB (the purpose is to prevent constant bleeding for weeks, i think). that was painful and entirely unexpected (the placenta came out with a sploosh and i thought i was done).

and nobody warned me about how my heart would totally melt and my world completely change from the minute i held my little one in my arms for the first time. but that was a good "what!?!" after all the ick, something so so fabulous.


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## kimberlylibby (Dec 28, 2003)

Two things:

I actually knew ABOUT them, but didn't realize how much they'd freak me out.

My dd had a little mini-period after birth and had TONS of witches milk for a few months.

So, I guess I was just unprepared for my dd to be leaking from all orifices of her body!


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## CraftyMommaOf2 (Mar 23, 2004)

The hospital I gave/will give birth at offer you an enema if you haven't pooped that day. When I asked my nurse why, she said that alot of women get so embarrassed and upset about the pooping that it's just a service they offer :LOL
No one told me that little boys get erections for the first few months for no reason. Talk about freaked out! :LOL The pain of the uterus shrinking back down and the clots you can pass after birth. I'm sure this is waaaay tmi, but I had a clot pass that was the size of a softball and I was positive I was dying!


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## Eustacia (May 11, 2004)

Puking and pooping? Me!!! I forced dh to go out and buy me a mango fozen fruit only to yak it all up shortly there after.


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## Lousli (Nov 4, 2003)

Oh, the night sweats after she was born. Like soak through your pajamas and the sheets kind of sweating. I thought I had malaria or some other weird postpartum infection!

And shaking during labor uncontrollably. That sucked.

The pooping I didn't even notice. Dh told me about six weeks later, when I remembered to ask him. That was a funny conversation!


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

Dang, with all the surprises I'm hearing about here, I will be one well-prepared mama.

Oddly, I've actually heard of all of these things at one time or another...I guess that is what happens when you hang around with tons of different people, move around the country a lot and know mostly Europeans and South Americans with whom NO topic is considered TMI.

The only two that are news are the BIG clots and the evil OBs who think it's important to clean you out. EEEEE! Thank God for homebirths!


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## plantmommy (Jun 7, 2004)

Oh, another one that's not directly related to labor, but...

milk letting down when you orgasm! although I had actually read that somewhere.


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## ChasingPeace (Oct 19, 2003)

This is one that I was really upset about not knowing--for me, it was the labor that hurt, not the pushing. I was terrified of the pushing, so I got IV pain meds, thinking "if the labor is this painful, how will I handle the pushing?" The pain meds did nothing for the labor pains, just made me feel really out of it, and had worn off by the time I was pushing. The pushing was great! It's really like a power surge--this immense power inside you. Just surrender to it. If I'd known this, I wouldn't have gotten the pain meds (however, I'm not sure if this is every woman's experience).


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## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

I had puking as well -- I threw up four times in a 20 mn period, and then that was it. It's most common during transition.


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## 4under6 (Aug 19, 2003)

1. Afterbirth pains. Holy crap, when I got them for the first time with #2, I thought for SURE I had a twin in there and was in labor again! It got worse with #3.

2. Shaking after the birth.

3. I did not know that the post-partum bleeding was from the placental site....I always assumed it was just one big long period after all those months of not having one!


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## gristastic (Jan 7, 2004)

:


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

I was really well-exposed to pregnancy and childbirth before the birth of my first, and still a couple of things caught me unawares (from both births, in no particular order):

Passing a softball-sized clot, right into my hand in the shower (it was such a weird feeling).

My arms and legs ached, not just my midsection and bottom (1st birth only).

Contracting during nursing can HURT.

Other than that, I was pretty much prepared. My mom had us at home and I'd seen birth - and seen postpartum - we'd even had a couple of women stay with us for a week or so postpartum, so I was familiar with the care involved. Most of my problem came from things that I thought were pretty normal but that nurses or whoever freaked out about (mild jaundice? I thought some sun would do the trick, but this freaky old nurse was totally flipping out about it).


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## linnea (Feb 20, 2004)

Oh! Here's something I didn't know, and my Mom didn't either - my Mom and sister both attended me during the birth and helped hold me while I was pushing. They told me later that the intense hormones they were exposed to caused them both to start their periods that night! I later read somewhere a doula writing that she has experienced that at almost every birth she's attended. We were all pretty amazed at the power of hormones!


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## Milkymommi (Aug 29, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mum2tori*
Tag MOLES!!!







:







:

Ugh would have been nice to know that those are normal from the hormones. Especially on my neck... and my breasts. Used one on the areola with DD to know if she was latched on properly. :LOL :LOL

:LOL Yeah me too!! Only I got these in a most UNLIKELY place







TMI ...I know but I couldn't help myself. I've never met anyone else with that so I always thought I was wierd.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linnea*
...They told me later that the intense hormones they were exposed to caused them both to start their periods that night! ...









NEVER heard that. How cool! Gotta love our bodies.


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## plantmommy (Jun 7, 2004)

So... it's more than a coincidence that this ds was conceived the night I got home from attending a dear friends labor and birth?!

Actually, I "knew" at the time of conception "We just made a baby" despite it being an untypical time in my cycle for me to ovulate. I've always o'd on day 17, and this was day 14.


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## Jennifer H (Jan 19, 2003)

Nobody ever told me about pregnancy:
~ That I would wake up every hour with pain in my hips, my pubic bone or my back all night long. On the half hour I wake up to pee, but I'd heard about that.
~ That getting out of bed would be excruciating (labor is honestly easier).
~ That the baby's movements could actually HURT sometimes.

Nobody ever told me about birth:
~ That I might throw up in labor (only twice with my first and once with my second thankfully).
~ How long it takes for the placenta to come, to have my tear stitched, etc.

Nobody ever told me about post-birth:
~ After pains. Like someone else said. All natural birth, but I couldn't cope with the afterpains without medication (partly due to bleeding so bad that I had to have meds that caused my uterus to really contract).
~ How messy birth and the days that follow are. I was dripping like crazy and was happy to be at the hospital so I wasn't dripping on my carpet!


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## wtchyhlr (Oct 15, 2002)

:

Loving this thread....

Question tho.... little girls have milk when they're born? And periods? And boys have erections?
That is *so* not in any of the books.


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

Mine is boring compared to yours.

I didn't realize that I would be so incredibly tired through the whole pregnancy. Even in the first trimester, I was tired. I actually felt less tired after the baby was born, even though I was getting no sleep and was exhausted. I think it was the hormones.

After I was already pregnant, my aunt said she remembered sleeping through many fun and interesting events during her first pregnancy. I used to conk out at my desk at work, with my fingers on the keyboard.


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## jecaly (Oct 6, 2003)

this is the best thread!

the thing that surprised me was:

laying in the bathtub a couple of days after giving birth, pressing on my belly, and being able to press all the way in to the other side because my organs hadn't moved back into place yet. in retrospect, my abdominal muscles had probably split, too, so there was just the skin of my front touching the muscles and skeleton of my back, with nothing in between. weird!

*j


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## SamuraiEarthMama (Dec 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wtchyhlr*
Question tho.... little girls have milk when they're born?

the boys can, too. it's from all of mama's hormones. totally harmless, honest!

i wasn't ready for the extreme case of baby acne my dd got... she was born in july, so her little glands had a heckuva time with all the sweat. she was a total pizza face at one month, and i thought it was gonna stay like that forever! it cleared up in a few weeks, but until then... her's was a face only a mama could love, and even then...

(btw, she has fabulous skin now)

k


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

I wish someone had told me that pushing wasn't always a relief, and that it didn't always take 15 minutes. I hated pushing more than anything, and I pushed for over 3 hours.

I wish someone had told me that it was going to feel like I had just pushed the baby out of my butt, not my vagina!

And I wish someone had warned me about how long I was going to bleed for.


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## Kabes (May 17, 2004)

No one told me:

-due to increased blood volume and the hormones that prepare your birthcanal for birth your nose will get all stuffy and you will feel like you have a cold. usually happens around 20 weeks

-your bowels may choose to 'cleanse' themselves during labor (think diarrhea) - happened w/ my first

-if your bowels don't cleanse themselves you will probably poop during pushing - happened w/ my second

-you may not feel the urge to push even if you're complete - wait for it, don't let them make you push

-that local anesthetic doesn't work on my "under carriage" and that needle hurts worst than the stitching. If I need stitches again; I'll just have them.

-how long and how much you bleed

-the fleeting but very real desire(for me atleast) to put the baby back in after I had met her. If only there were an easy way. Really- they had everything they needed inside and they were easy to carry around. Too bad you can't just zzzzzip and tuck them in and zzzzip and take them out - O.K. so maybe I really am nuts.

-the instant 'Mama Bear" feelings & ***LOVE***

-how much birth and the baby made me miss my mama!!!


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## LaLaLuna (Jun 23, 2002)

Man-if I had known about that puking thing I would definitly have chosen something other than granola for breakfast the morning I went into labor.

I wish I'd know about bleeding for a month afterward.

I wish I'd known that contractions in a breech presentation are frequently irregular in duration and timing; when I described ours to our doula she said "Oh you've got hours to get to the hospital" when in reality we had about an hour. I also wish I'd known that not all women get the urge to push (i didn't with that breech baby) so it would have been useful to know that you push just like you're taking a big ol' poop.

I wish I'd known about flooding the bed with breastmilk at night; I'd have bought a few more sheet sets before ds was born!


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## mum2tori (Apr 7, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaLaLuna*
Man-if I had known about that puking thing I would definitly have chosen something other than granola for breakfast the morning I went into labor.









: yikes:









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kabes*
No one told me:

-due to increased blood volume and the hormones that prepare your birthcanal for birth your nose will get all stuffy and you will feel like you have a cold. usually happens around 20 weeks

OH the SINUSES!!! UGH! And often doesn't end until birth!! Those totally suck. Walking around with "just enough" of a stuffed up nose to make you feel like you can't get a full breath... and then later you've got so much baby right against your diaphram that you still can't breath.









Or waking up in the middle of the night with ONE side of your nose totally CLOGGED and the other side totally CLEAR to the point were it almost feels like it's piercing your brain it's so clear.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kabes*
No one told me:
-the fleeting but very real desire(for me atleast) to put the baby back in after I had met her. If only there were an easy way. Really- they had everything they needed inside and they were easy to carry around. Too bad you can't just zzzzzip and tuck them in and zzzzip and take them out - O.K. so maybe I really am nuts.

Okay, I'll admit it... YEP. You always know exactly where they are, they are quiet and not fussing. No "worries" about what is causing them to cry at 3am. They are safe and protected.


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## blipla (Jul 6, 2004)

I wish I had known how I would feel after the birth of my first.

I was shaky, lightheaded, couldn't stand up, felt ripped in two down below, was afraid to use the toilet, shocked by the amount of bleeding, missed being pregnant and felt more vulnerable than I ever have in my life. And that was just in the first hour after birth!

After my second, I felt like a superhero, and after my third I just wanted a good long nap.


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## Ivanhoe (Apr 11, 2002)

When the milk came in, I could not believe how soaked I was, I kept soaking sheets, t-shirts and everything during the first two months. It was like a milk river! I was totally amazed.

Another What?! (not so positive as the milk river) was the post partum blues and constant crying. I felt so insane, so crazy, and out of myself... I'm prepared this time


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

: OK, maybe it's better to not know all this stuff..... I'm getting a little freaked out....


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## Katie's Momma (Jun 11, 2004)

My list would include:

leaky breasts at 7 months pg
the intense vaginal pressure through most of my pg
rectal fissure
not peeing at all for the entire day but then peeing in my sleep that first night - as I had sustained damage to my bladder
the extreme hormonal inpact post pg - never before and never since have I felt so psychotic
how d*mn much bf hurts!
that I would not immediately feel an overwhelming sense of love at birth
how little bleeding there was afterwards
how much those post delivery contractions hurt while nursing!


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## Katie's Momma (Jun 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jecaly*
the thing that surprised me was:laying in the bathtub a couple of days after giving birth, pressing on my belly, and being able to press all the way in to the other side because my organs hadn't moved back into place yet. in retrospect, my abdominal muscles had probably split, too, so there was just the skin of my front touching the muscles and skeleton of my back, with nothing in between. weird!

omgosh - that is freaky! How weird that must have felt!!


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## bwylde (Feb 19, 2004)

There's so much, most has been listed. One I can think of was how much it could hurt to have a BM after. I've never been constipated in my life (I have IBS with just diarrhea) and I felt like I was being ripped in two. I plan on lots of fiber and water this time around!!

I still can't get over how much BF'ing hurt (and how long!!!) and just how exhausted you can get and still function. Oh and sleeps like a baby...pure myth!!! Some babies don't sleep!!! :LOL


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## CJ 5 (May 30, 2004)

I have a few to add as I am about to pop.

First that you should lie about your due date so when you hit 40 weeks your doctor/MW doesn't freak out and want to induce

To use kyosil and lots of water at the first sign of constipation because hemroids SUCK!!!!

That you really can't sleep well the last month of pregnancy because the baby is so active and you are so big Don't plan the ridiculous schedual I did based on advice.

Most important is that all moms have amnesia after their first year of birth and will give you advice that is ludicrous and does not work. Most moms remember one period of their childs life and attribute it to the whole time ( for example My husbands mom is sure that DH slept through the night from the beginning and I pulled out his baby book and that was defenitly not the case)

The last thing is that mainstream moms and AP moms will give you advice. You have to be careful of the bias because it is so confusing being pregnant the first time.

Last thing ( I mean the real last thing) all that crap at babies R us is a waste of money. Ask AP moms for the essentials and beg your friends to give you gift certificates or exchange exchange exchange after your shower.


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## Caroline248 (Nov 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katie's Momma*
My list would include:

how d*mn much bf hurts!
that I would not immediately feel an overwhelming sense of love at birth



I think those two are the most important to share with a new mom to be....I was so upset with myself that I didn't want to hold my first right after delivery, it took a couple of hours before that mama instinct kicked in. I thought I was the worst person in the world. All I cared about was getting some food!!

And the pain of breastfeeding...it was the taste blood in your mouth pain...I stuck through it, but most of my friends say they had "unusual" amounts of pain so they had to stop...noone realized that is the norm.....

Caroline


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## Kristeen (May 22, 2004)

Wow, is it too late to put this little one back where it came from?









Re sinus': I'm so glad I read this today as I woke up this morning with a sniffly, drippy nose and thought that I had a cold!


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## mamaBlue (May 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc*
Afterpains!!!!! I had this wonderful, all-natural waterbirth with virtually no-pain and then about DIED from the afterpains. I couldn't even nurse because everytime she would nurse the pain was UNBEARABLE and I would just break down in tears. This lasted for almost 2 days (until I got some STRONG meds!) I would have given birth 10x's over rather then deal with the afterpains.

AMEN! 5 minutes after Lulu was born they came. OMG! I was going to die! Perhaps if I had remembered they were a possibility, I would have been better prepared.


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## peacenlove (Apr 1, 2003)

some of my experience;









throwing up in labor- i broke many (hundreds) of blood vessles in my face, under my eyes-(from straining)

hospital birth- my son had swallowed macomium during birth and they rushed him to intensive care, i didn't see him for 4 hours ( it was 1:30 am) the nurse came to me and wanted to give him formula- i said no way!

pain of breastfeeding- cracked nipples-

soaking my top, the bed, let down of the other breast while ds is nursing on one

pp hormones- i too felt crazy, emotional, frustrated

the overwhelming love for my son









peace kathleen


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## mthomas (Mar 20, 2004)

the way your hair falls out post partum. I didnt notice it so much this time around, but the first time, I can clearly remember taking a shower and looking down. My pubic hair was patchy looking - lol. It was a little alarming at first.


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## hallesmom (Oct 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CraftyMommaOf2*
The pain of the uterus shrinking back down and the clots you can pass after birth. I'm sure this is waaaay tmi, but I had a clot pass that was the size of a softball and I was positive I was dying!










Yes, I thougth that surely they left part of my placenta inside!!! Horrible, just horrible.

I also read about how your uterus contracts while breastfeeding, but I didn't realize that I would bleed more during this time too! ick.....

I also didn't realize that even thought I felt fine, I had a hard time getting up to go to the bathroom after birth, and that I needed to hold a towel/pad underneath me. Boy was there a mess to clean up! TMI** I know!


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## LaLaLuna (Jun 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacenlove*
some of my experience;









hospital birth- my son had swallowed macomium during birth and they rushed him to intensive care, i didn't see him for 4 hours ( it was 1:30 am) the nurse came to me and wanted to give him formula- i said no way!


I know Im being anal here (sorry!) - I feel the need to clarify that newborns aren't at risk for swallowing meconium; it's when they inhale it that it's a (potentially) major problem.

And good for you for refusing the formula!


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## naturegirl (Apr 16, 2002)

:

I have to admit that most of these I have heard of but I still don't think I grasp how troublesome, icky, painful many of them are.

No turning back now though...36 weeks today!







This baby will be coming sometime "soon".


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

I would say...
1. that milk comes in early and I may leak it during the night to wake up in a pool?!
2. That there are such things as high needs babies... that would have prevented the whole pregnancy!
3. That there is such emotional back lash from a csection/pregnancy gone wrong.
4. I could go on and on and on!!!
Kimberley

Oh and that it felt that, with each new day my hips were physically cracking open... ugh!!!!!!!!

oh, and the MYTH that breastfeeding promotes wieghtloss... HAHAHAH!!!


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## thundersweet (Feb 28, 2003)

This thread is funny and all so true! The thing with the poop though, that had me so worried with my first. I actually had an enema on hand to use before I went to the hospital. I was induced. Now I have no idea if this is a good thing to do or not but I was terrified. The nurse asked me the next day if I wanted one and I said "YES" lol I was just terrified. Anyway I didnt poop so I guess it worked. I plan to have one with this baby too.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

I think the only thing that caught me a little off guard (I have a very chatty, up-front group of aquaintances here luckily) is when my son was having milk after he was born - from HIS nipples.

Took me about 3.4 seconds to figure out that it was from my hormones, but man did my husband freak out for a few days ! *LOL*


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## msrog (Mar 28, 2004)

OK, thanks for the laughs, ladies!!! I especially cracked up with gristastic's post of only the lurker eating popcorn...









If it eases anyone's mind, I DID NOT PUKE DURING LABOR. And I pooped a little, but nobody even noticed, because the doc/doula whoever was right there to quickly wipe the area with a giant pad (and had their hand strategically placed during pushing where they were simultaneously covering that area from view while also available to quickly whisk it away).

My biggest surprises were:
- In pregnancy, that none of the mainstream books I read prepared me for the "will you circumcise?" question. I didn't even know it was an option, it's so routinely done around here... luckily my neighbor friend/doula/mom of two intact boys gave me a Mothering article about it before we made a stupid decision based on ignorance!
- In labor, that the "I can't make it any longer" pains of transition can start as early as 6 cm, disheartening you when you spent 6 hours dilating 4 cms. and think you have to go 6 more hours to open the last 4 cms... when in reality it only took 40 minutes, if that long, then PUSHING ACTUALLY FELT LESS PAINFUL than any of it.
- The bleeding and goo you have for a month after birth. WEIRD.
- That breastfeeding does not always come naturally. It took us two weeks and an emaciated, starving baby to finally work out a plan... using an electric double pump and bottles and finally weaning back to plain breast with no pump at 6 weeks old. Hard road!
- Related to that, having never breastfed before, I didn't know that I wasn't "letting down." So it was a BIG SHOCKER the first time that happened with the pump... tingles and milk everywhere!!! Then I was astonished at how far across the room I could shoot a stream of milk while letting down...

:LOL


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## girlfactory (Nov 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trishshack*
My 2 big ones are that you can throw up while in labor and that you poop when you are pushing.


OMG you are so right on about that!! I mean really, I would have LOVED to know that not only would I be pushing out a babe, BUT a load of crap to boot! Who'da thunk??


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

Don't tell other moms who just delivered that you either only tore or didn't tear at all. Especially not the one who can barely walk and had to have an episiotomy and who still tore.

That hospital staff make value judgements on how you parent immediately after birth and refuse to take into account the fact that you have just given birth or are having problems post partum.

That taping a sign to your door that says "quiet please. mommy and baby resting" keeps vistors at bay and makes the staff knock first. (except kitchen staff ARGH!)

That you _can_ take a shit within 24hrs after birth and not feel like you're insides are going to fall out.

That you can also take a shit a week or more after birth and stop up the toilet. And then do the same thing the next day.







:


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## melixxa (May 20, 2003)

This is one of the best threads I've seen in a long time. So interesting!

I have to say that none of the things anyone has posted thus far were surprising to me. I guess I did a hell of a lot of reading while I was pregnant, maybe 30+ books, and also had a great childbirth class (based loosely on "Birthing From Within") with the woman who was both my doula and my massage therapist during pregnancy. The only things that came as a shocker were related to what Mamid said - hospital stuff. I had had no experience with hospitals before (and did NOT expect to be in one - but rather in my lights-dimmed, newly-blue-painted, lavendar-scented bedroom - and did NOT expect to be recovering from surgery).

So, here are mine (take note that these are also post c-section):

1. Your best friend is now named STOOL SOFTENER. However. If you don't drink as much water as you possibly can, you will still spend about an hour in the shower attempting to remove impacted stools without any medical (or other) assistance and without even knowing what the hell is going on. (This happened to me on day 5, the day after I got out of the hospital.) And of course, the mushy, non-fiber, non-nutritious hospital food will not help in the least. No one talked to me about this possibility (which I guess can be common after surgery), and the pains in my abdomen were actually worse than the labor pains. I could not walk across the room without crumpling up. It didn't help that the surgical incision was already making it a challenge to walk straight.

Next time - if there ever were to be a next time - I would ask for more /a stronger stool softener and get someone to bring me lots of fresh fruit, salad, dried fruit, etc. into the hospital. And bottled water - I like the fizzy European waters, esp. Pellegrino - anything to motivate me to drink even more than I already was.

2. Your milk can come in without engorgement. I kept waiting for my breasts to get as hard as rocks. I kept waiting for the pain. Didn't happen. Then I noticed that thin white stuff, not yellow stuff, was leaking from my son's mouth.

3. You can have weird effects from an epidural (I was NOT going to get one so I was pretty ignorant about them). I had a strange tingly pain all down one thigh, which later turned into numbness. My thigh was numb for about 10 months, then it went away. Sometimes I still feel a slight, very localized numbness around my incision. Nothing too bad.

4. My milk came in on day 5 or day 6. And that was OK. Luckily (if you want to look at it that way), I was too drugged up to worry needlessly about my milk. In fact, nothing anyone in the hospital did could really phase me. My DP and I did just what we wanted. We could not keep the nurses from opening the door and turning on bright (bright! cross-examination-worthy-bright) overhead lights in the middle of the night, however. I don't know that anyone can.

As a result, after my 43-hour labor and homebirth-that-was-not-to-be, I actually spent four quite happy, peaceful days in the hospital. So I would call this #

5. The hospital is not necessarily going to be horrific. I thought it would be. I did not want to be there. I was not mentally prepared to be there. But once I was, once it was all over, did not go as expected, and yet here was my fantastically beautiful baby, it was just fine. The nurses, the doctors, everyone - they were great (OK, there was one asshole doctor and one asshole nurse, and the lactation counsellors were pretty much useless, but whatever). My midwife and my doula and my midwife's partner all came to visit every day. My only job was to walk up and down the hall once a day and try to feed my baby. I loved my hospital bed and was sad to leave it. We spent all our time gazing in admiration at our son, who slept nestled next to me on the bed. We never let anyone take him anywhere without us.

It wasn't my beautiful, peaceful homebirth, but I have really fond memories of it all nevertheless.

P.S One more thing: Nobody prepared us for just how GREAT it is after the baby was born. All I really thought and worried about was the work involved and the sleep deprivation. Actually, it was wonderful. It was FUN.


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

You still look 6 months pregnant after you have the baby.

I never pooped or threw up even though my midwife made me eat throughout my entire 29 hour labor.

I had heard birthing the placenta feels good and cooling, but for me it hurt just like any other contraction.


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## mum2tori (Apr 7, 2003)

That your milk can come in at different times with each pregnancy.

My milk came in within 3 days with the birth of my first (DD). It was 6 DAYS before my milk came in with my second (DS) AND I was tandem nursing with DD too. And constant nursing doesn't always make it come in faster. DS was attached almost non-stop until my milk finally came in and he felt satisfied. And I didn't have nearly the engorgement or the supply







second time around that I did with DD. In fact my supply totally disappeared with this pregnancy. I didn't want DS to wean so early but he wasn't getting anything anymore and the pain was unbearable. I'll be curious to see if he decides to try again once my supply comes back.

Oh it was amazing to see my milk let down with a "blast" from one side while trying to get DD attached on the other side.


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## mum5 (Apr 10, 2004)

How protective you can feel of that little babe. I didn't want ANYONE toucj=hing her, only me and her Daddy.
I had the usual tiredness during the whole pregnancy, the pukeing and pooping during labor.
The broken blood vessels in my eyes from pushing. The placenta "birth" Ouch!
The post partum depression that I really feel is so underestimated and still so taboo.
I didn't feel normal until nearly a year after the birth.
The weight loss that breast feeding is supposed to give you !! Haha!
The absolute intense love that you feel for your baby, what's better than that!!


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## mama2annabelle (Dec 29, 2002)

I was so educated about labor and birth and was extremely prepared for all the stuff that goes along with those. But I was CLUELESS about just about everything postpartum.

I had no idea:

-- that I would be in so much PAIN after birth. I couldn't sit comfortably for weeks!!! Tailbone pain, anal fissure, hemmerhoids, perineum pain (even though I did not get an episiotimy and only had a very tiny tear). That and my entire body ached like I had just done a full body work out and had waaaay overdone it.

--that intercourse would be nearly impossible to bear for months and would not be completely pain free for more than half the first year PP.

--that frequent nursing does not always delay your first post partum period.
DD nursed (on demand) constantly, sometimes latched on and sucking for hours at a time. I was sure that I would go at least the first year with no period. Well, was I wrong...I got my first period 1 WEEK after the post partum bleeding stopped! UGH!!!!


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## Soogie (Feb 7, 2002)

I am LMAO at some of these responses. They are all so true! But the one thing that I didn't expect was how much I would SMELL during labor. Seriously, I stunk. I couldn't even stand my own smell with my first labor. It was a mixture of sweat (I spent my entire labor nekkid, I was so darn hot) and all the fluid(s) smells mixed together. I was rather "earthy" smelling. Even DH noticed, but was a very smart DH and dared not to mention it during labor! And with #2, I knew I was going to start laboring soon because I started to get that funky labor smell. And sure enough, late that night, my contractions started. It didn't bother me as much as the first time around, because I knew it was just part of the process.

I thought I was the only one that smells during labor, but I have been at the homebirths of 2 friends and they smelled too! lol.


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## Ceili (Nov 21, 2001)

... that I would lose all sense of modesty during labor.

I honestly didn't care what I looked like or sounded like. I remember the midwife brushing my hair at some point and I found the whole idea completely ridiculous. It did feel go though...









I threw up tons, but I was prepaired for that. My normal responce to pain in nausea, so I wasn't suprised.


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## Kim (Nov 19, 2001)

The lack of modesty -- I walked into the hospital dilated to 10cm in the middle of winter with nothing on but slippers and a bathrobe hanging open. The gawkers in the hosp lobby are something I'll never forget.


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## girlfactory (Nov 11, 2002)

Modesty was completely out the window for Ivy's birth! When the EMS came bursting into my house, they were all







: when they saw me! I was naked, soaking wet from being in the tub, laying on red towels, with my legs spread wide open and a baby crowning. They had the decency to toss a big plastic yellow tarp over me when they wheeled me onto the lawn, but by then Ivy was OUT and it was too late to care/worry.


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## kater07 (Jan 6, 2002)

*Things I wish I'd been told the first time:*

That my pelvis would start to separate in the 1st trimester causing serious pain for 10 months.

That sciatic nerve pain doesn't go away with massage (it gets worse for me)

That DH would not understand the pain nor would he be doting, happy to be running errands or helpful with household chores.

That our families would destroy the names we picked out causing me horrible stress.

That people would insist that they could tell a baby's gender by U/S pics of the baby's head (the only thing I got pics of). This caused me stress I didn't need. It just irritated me life out of me.

That getting an u/s would cause me more stress than it was worth... I hated that stupid thing and still hate the pics b/c I can't see anything that resembles a child in them.

That the books all lie when they tell you you get your sex drive back and that your energy level rises in the 2nd trimester.

That there are "good books" like Dr. Sears and "BAD books" like Ezzo. It would have saved me a lot of $.

That the hospital we had no choice of using (b/c we weren't supposed to be stuck there just a quick little NST... yeah right!) wouldn't have a LC on staff, and none of the nurses would know anything about nursing.

That I wouldn't be able to put my newborn down b/c he's sooooo cute!

That my whole philosophy on life would change after seeing him the first time.

That I'd never feel my milk come in even though it had

That it's ESSENTIAL to have a good double pump especially in the off chance that you MUST PUMP! OMG, that tiny little crappy single pump just didn't do the job properly. I got a good pump 1 month after DS came home after wasting $150 on rental pump, the single pump and the pump parts.

I didn't feel any of those after pains (probably due to the massive amounts of Perk I took)

BFing didn't help the weight loss at all.

That DH would chang his mind about co-sleeping on the first night DS was home. If I'd known he'd do that, we'd have spent $ on something besides the pack n play.

That babies don't have to be 3 months old to smile. DS smiled at 10 days old and hasn't stopped in 2 years. He smiled for his first pics at 6 weeks, and melted my heart.

*VENTING STUFF:*
That my MWs would lie to me about my health then freak out on me and scare the daylights out of my DH during prelabor landing me strapped to a bed for 30 hours before a c/s

That my MWs would quit their job at the birth center the day I went into labor thus forcing me to the hospital after lying to me about my health

That my MWs wouldn't be there for 1/2 my labor and wouldn't visit me after the baby was born

That the doctor would be rude enough to tell me not to be modest that he'd already seen it all anyway... I am still POed about that and it's been nearly 2 years.

That my butt would still be numb and tingly 2 years after a spinal and that I'd wouldn't be over the trauma of a horrid birth 2 years later, and that no doctor would be willing to help me.

That there is a horrid (now fixable) genetic disorder in DH's family that my son was likely to have that NO ONE THOUGHT TO MENTION TO US! Thank goodness there was a brilliant Ped on the day DS started throwing up bile and meconium.

That sex would SUCK and that DH would want it at 3 weeks PP just b/c the stupid doctor said it was ok. He's never quite figured out that just b/c the doc says that my body is ok, it doesn't mean that I want it or can handle it

That only my dad would think to get me a wheelchair to ride in for the 1/2 mile from the parking lot to the NICU 5 times a day for 10 days (only happened if my dad was there)

I REALLY wish I'd known that STADOL is EVIL. It it one of the best drugs to halt dilation! NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ME THIS, and I hadn't researched it b/c I wasn't planning on meds. Guess that makes me stupid.


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

I've got a couple to add to my original -

PPD - when I had my first this didn't have much press, and all I'd read about it was a little blurb in "What to Expect", so I didn't recognize it until a couple years later.

Related to PPD possibly - I wouldn't necessarily feel an overwhelming immediate attachment to my baby. I didn't with DD (my first) and did with DS (my second). It took months and months to feel 'right' about DD, and I wonder now if that lack of initial feeling was an early sign of PPD, or if it helped the PPD along, or what. I didn't have PPD with my second.

That it is possible to have a milk OVERSUPPLY/hyperactive let-down. Seriously, my babies have never needed to nurse for more than 2-3 minutes on a side (one side per feeding), and because my let-down is so fierce my son couldn't handle it (he'd choke) and I had to stop nursing when my let-down started, squirt into a bottle or several cloth diapers for a minute, and then let him latch on again. It took a while to get a hang of it. How often have you heard of a baby gaining over 2 lbs by a week? Not me, I was stuck between feeling incredibly proficient, and feeling like a freak. Oh, and my milk came in within 2 days after my first was born, 1 day with my second. You may think I'm lucky but let-down HURT, it felt like someone was jabbing super-long needles through my nipples into my muscles (and simultaneously giving electric shocks to my pectoral muscles and breasts). It hurt worse than the after-pains (which were also triggered by breastfeeding), and even though my mom was a LC and lived with me at the time (never an improper latch), my nipples got sore. The pain at let-down lasted for 6 MONTHS! (Thank goodness the post-birth contractions and nipple soreness didn't last nearly that long!) But back to oversupply - I never pumped because I was afraid to stimulate supply, even though I was ferociously engorged sometimes - but I had a freezerful of milk just from catching what was still squirting after my babies were done, or catching the intial let-down that DS couldn't handle. I'd always been prepared for a mental struggle with are-they-getting-enough, and here I was wondering if my body would ever stop squirting (eventually it did, but here I am at 16w pregnant and still getting engorged if 2.5yo DS doesn't nurse on time).


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

more stuff from my post :

that they don't tell you that once a baby starts moving around on its own, weight gain drops - but its your fault if the baby doesn't keep on gaining weight!

that PPD is an excuse used by others (read:doctors, social workers etc) when they don't want to take you seriously if there is a crisis in your life. "Oh she just has PPD." 9 months later????? I don't think so.

that people are insensitive when it comes to teeth coming in "teeth at 4 mo? that's the end of nursing! etc."

That pharmacists can be rude when it comes to things a nursing mom needs. "Ma'am, you need to talk to a lactation consultant...." I _am_ a lactation consultant! I have breastfed for over 4 years AND a doula!

That breastpumps made by baby food/formucrap manufacturers aren't worth the plastic they are made of.

That people assume you can't breastfeed because your breasts are too big/too small.

That finding a sling at Toys R Us is the equivalent of finding gold!


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

GRANULATION TISSUE! I'd never heard of this before, ever!! No one told me I could get it and that it would have to be BURNED off with silver nitrate.









Oh, and how thirsty and hungry I'd be after labour! I drank 3 bottles of gatorade, 1.5 litres of water and ate a spicy chicken sandwich and baked potato from Wendy's along with a peanut butter sandwich on wheat w/ the span of an hour!!

The night sweats. AND I had very little swelling BEFORE ds was born, but my ankles and wrists started swelling when I came home from the hospital. I was induced, so I suspect it was from all of those extra fluids.








No one could express to me how relieved and in love and nervous all at the same time I would be. At the time, every day seemed like an eternity, but now, looking back, it went by in a blurr...

Oh, and we mustn't forget about the fountians of yellow poo...Dh changed ds's dipe on am and he pooped and it was like a geyser!! ACK! He hit the wall and every diaper onthe change table.

Oh joy


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## sleet76 (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:

GRANULATION TISSUE! I'd never heard of this before, ever!! No one told me I could get it and that it would have to be BURNED off with silver nitrate.
me too!!! I was also one of the very few lucky ones to get this...burned off once, grew back two more times--and was sliced off with a scalpel...finally all better at 6 months pp!

Other things:

I did poop, but expected it--especially since I was induced and didn't get naturally "cleaned out".

The night sweats post-partum--have to loose all that liquid some way!

Fever when milk came in at day 5 or 6.

Hemorrohids!! Thankfully, they went away on theor own quickly.

And, being terrified to poop for months after due to pain (mostly thanks to my fun granulation tissue). Took lots and lots of colace, citricel, prunes, and other fruits and water...

Overall, though--things were great and 110% worth it and more!!!


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## AmyB (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
*Things I wish I'd been told the first time:*

That the doctor would be rude enough to tell me not to be modest that he'd already seen it all anyway... I am still POed about that and it's been nearly 2 years.


It has been surprising to me too how angry I am at the dumb, thoughtless stuff the medical staff at the hospital did to me.

The "good" birth books warn not to give your birth away, but I didn't know they meant I would wake up in the middle of the night still seething more than 2 1/2 years after the baby was born.

--AmyB


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

I wish I had known that...

...a homebirth midwife, even one who is sweet and motherly and comes with high recommendations, can still make a crappy birth attendant.

...taking castor oil to augment labor would give me diahhrea and cramps from hell and would put me at risk for dehydration, and the baby at risk of distress.

...labor could take a longgggg time and therefore I should have rested while I had the chance.

...dilation checks are pointless and discouraging.

...to have my private parts touched and watched would be uncomfortable and inhibiting, and that this would hinder labor.

...if my instincts conflicted with the midwife's suggestions, I should follow my instincts.

...I didn't have to push (and shouldn't have) just because I was 10 cm. dilated.

...hold-your-breath-pop-your-eyes-out pushing is stupid and dangerous.

...depression and apathy after the birth are not normal.

...bonding is partly a chemical process dependant on close proximity for the time period that certain hormones are being released. (i.e., give me my baby NOW)

...birth is on the sexual spectrum, and that which gets the baby in gets the baby out.










...nobody at the hospital emergency room would know anything about breast infections, and would charge me $700 for the visit anyway.







:


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## Summertime Mommy (Dec 5, 2003)

Quote:

Quote:
Originally Posted by mum2tori
Tag MOLES!!!

Ugh would have been nice to know that those are normal from the hormones. Especially on my neck... and my breasts. Used one on the areola with DD to know if she was latched on properly.

Yeah me too!! Only I got these in a most UNLIKELY place TMI ...I know but I couldn't help myself. I've never met anyone else with that so I always thought I was wierd.
OMG!! Me too! I actually went to my OB to make sure they weren't some kind of STD.


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## kater07 (Jan 6, 2002)

GRANULATION TISSUE??

Tag Moles??

What are these things? I have NEVER heard of either.

Enlighten me please.


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## Ahimsa (Apr 7, 2004)

I attended three home births when I was 12 and had wanted to be at first an ob/gyn and then a midwife. I was reading books like Birth as an American Right of Passage, Spiritual MIdwifery, etc. as a teenager so, I knew a lot of this going in to it. I knew that one bled for awhile after birth, but I was suprised at how stinky the lochia was. It was like something had died in there. Also, I wasn't prepared for how open to suggestion I would be. I had it in my mind that I would push when the urge came and use an upright or squatting position, but instead I did what the midwife said and layed down and pushed intensely before really feeling it. I feel this led to my son's head compression and heart decelerations and also to me tearing. Another thing, I'd always read about breastfeeding preventing periods from coming for 5 months to over a year. So, we didn't bother with protection when starting relations again at five weeks pp. Then my midwife tells me that the first six weeks are risky because you don't know if your periods will return right away or not and this could resault in Irish twins(babies 9-10m apart)







So, two weeks after pp bleeding stops I had some light bleeding. Although, I was looking forward to not having a period for awhile I hope that this was a light period and not implantation. I never did experience a lack of sex drive-I was horny again 2 weeks pp.

ETA-I am two months pp right now.


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kater07*
GRANULATION TISSUE??

Tag Moles??

What are these things? I have NEVER heard of either.

Enlighten me please.

Well, are you sure you wanna know?







Granulation tissue basically is when your body overheals itself. It happened to me, where I tore. Your skin heals but then puts down another basal layer of skin on top of this. So, basically, it's your 'underskin' without the protective top layer so it feels a bit like road rash....bare nerves. It's somehat painful and it feels like there's something 'there'. That's the best I can do. It sucked, but it's gone now!


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## sincitymama (Sep 20, 2003)

Well, all of the above :LOL
but honestly, the thing that surprised me the most? How much it hurt to pee for the first couple days. Especially that first pp pee-never mind the clots, That's when I felt like I was dying! My peri bottle was my best friend for at least 2 weeks. Oddly enough, the first poo didn't hurt so much. Freaked me out more than was uncomfortable. After all, pushing feels like pooping, so when I had to poop that first time....

Also bonding can take a long while. I knew it, but didn't expect it. The first few months of ds's life I cared for him mostly out of instinct and obligation. I didn't feel attached for quite a while.


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## TerriKay (Jun 2, 2004)

Yeah, the whole puking thing!! I puked constantly during labor w/ dd. (At least thats what my sis and mom told me a couple months ago!!) I didn't even know that women did puke during labor until they mentioned something about my dsis and sil taking turns holding the bucket, and I was like "What?? What are you guys talking about?? I did WHAT??????" That was 8 years ago and I didn't even know I had done it!!!!







That's pretty bad that I experienced it and STILL didn't know it was a possibility!!


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## BoobyJuice (Jun 25, 2003)

Great thread. I was very well read during my first pregnancy, but there was still stuff that shocked me. My biggest problem was that I only read the happy, healthy, hippy style pregnancy books - everything is beautiful, natural and normal. I had read about things like poop and puking but they made them sound like it was very rare.

Let's see . . .

(way TMI coming up) my first big suprise was losing my mucus plug. I got out of the shower and - splat - looked like a can of cherry pie filling had been dropped. Had to go to the hospital to be checked and everything was just fine. Nothing, and I mean, nothing had prepared me for that.

Precipitous labor. Everything I read said to stay home as long as you could with your first labor. Early labor would last for hours and hours while you baked or watched TV. Every source reassures you that you will have long stretches between contractions to rest and find peace. Nothing warns you about starting in hard, active labor; having contractions that last about 45 seconds and come 60 seconds apart. I was overwhelmed, scared, and didn't know what to do.

Pushing for 3 hours. That pushing could hurt worse than labor (I dislocated my tailbone pushing). That pushing that long and hard would leave my entire body aching for about a month.

It would feel like I'd delivered the baby out my a**. (Actually one sil told me that but I didn't quite get it). Pushing for a long time will lead to hemeroids, it hurts to sit, it hurts worse to poop and I walked like I had a stick up my butt for weeks.

That having a midwife doesn't assure they'll be helpful at all. In fact some can be almost detrimental to your health. That my midwife wouldn't even make it to my 2nd birth and it would be unassisted (with complications).

It's possible to soak a queen size bed with breast milk. I leaked for months. I'd step out of the shower and leave puddles all the way to the bedroom. My son and I both smelled of rotten milk for a long time because we were always covered in it!

With my second I would bond right away like I did with the first. That I would be completely overwhelmed by having 2.

Afterpains! I had read about them, but nothing prepared me for them with #2. (I hadn't gotten them at all with #1) I would retch into a trash can while trying to nurse him.


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## jeanettemc (May 18, 2004)

Ladies, two words for the poop, two enemas (in the first three hours). Next time it will be three enemas! Oh, and how about those postpartum Roids! whoo hoo, fun!


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## jeanettemc (May 18, 2004)

Boobyjuice! You Are Hilarious! Thanks For The Lol!


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## plantmommy (Jun 7, 2004)

Oh, yeah, the complete variation in labor patterns. Like, with my first, all the books say to call the OB when your cntx are 5 mins apart or less, etc. Well, mine STARTED at 2 mins. apart, and stayed that way. For 19 hours. They just got progressively stronger. So, as a first time mom, you try deciding when it's necessary to go somewhere!

I got to the b/c and the OB told me I was "ONLY" 3 cms. after 6 hours of cntrx 2 mins apart, and my not being able to walk or talk through them at that point.

Nobody told me to not trust my OB to do what we'd discussed and she'd agreed to beforehand, either.

Nobody told me that the most important things are not how the heck you breathe while in labor, but how comfortable and safe you feel, and who you surround yourself with.


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## azyre (Oct 10, 2003)

oh what a great thread. here's what got me by suprise :

pregnancy made me stink, i smelt unbearable to myself. when i'd go to the loo the smell of my urine made me want to puke. my sweat stunk. my poo stunk. i was a big horrid ball of stench. luckily this lessened after a month or so.

overdoing it on a exercise ball can kick off a seperated pubic bone you then deal with for the rest of your pregnancy. i wont be getting on one of them so soon, if at all, next time.

that morning sickness for more than half your pregnancy, seperated pubic bone, gall bladder attacks and carpal tunnel barely raise an eyebrow by the ob's or midwives because they are all common complaints in pregnancy. i should have sought more help, not just survived.

as pregnancy progresses you are more likely to wet yourself when vommiting. i rationalised this was to get me used to someone ELSE puking and weeing on me LOL

your personality can change for the length of your pregnancy and then come back pretty much in tact afterwards. i was so not myself.


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:

pregnancy made me stink, i smelt unbearable to myself. when i'd go to the loo the smell of my urine made me want to puke. my sweat stunk. my poo stunk. i was a big horrid ball of stench. luckily this lessened after a month or so.
Now, see, I noticed this as well, but I chalked it up to the heightened sense of smell! EVERYTHING smelled INTENSER. I'd never been so aware of the smell of my own hair before







.


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## sincitymama (Sep 20, 2003)

Another one-the smell of pp pee. Is it just me, or does anyone else notice how incredibly strong it smells now? TMI, I know, but it's been more than half a year and I can still barely stand it. Even dh notices it, he figures it's just more hormonal fun.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

I've learned how different I smell, for sure! DH notices it, too. I smell stronger all over. I don't mind it, except when I pee. I hate the smell of my urine these days. He loves the way I smell when we're intimate.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

ah.. yes.. breast milk...

Two fountains of white liquid ejecting from your nipples while you and your other half are in the middle of "doing it."

Free milk baths!

Seeing how far away you can squirt compared to how far your DP can aim with his piss!

That a kitten will go after milk that has pooled on your chest between your breasts.

Soaking the sheets, the comforter, the pillows, the bed...

Soaking yourself from your nipples to your knees in the only 5 minute period that you can't change breast pads.

Realizing that even if you could change them in time, they are a waste of money and its better to soak anyway so that the milk comes out.

The pain of mastitis.

The pain of thrush.

The pain of 2 little teeth erupting for the first time.

The pain of those same little teeth, and their buddies, drawing blood.

The power of suction - as in your hungry little baby's desire to suck and suck and suck and suck for hours.

The ability to watch your pulse in your breast while nursing, nevermind feel it.

Keeping silent while someone uses your EBM for their coffee/tea.







:

That breastfeeding by braille is impossible when your baby wips the blanket off the both of you.

Scandalizing little old ladies because you live in a "breasts can go free" country and are walking around with them hanging out on your own property while you milk starts coming in...

The constant drips...

The sympathetic stream from one while the other one is nursed from.

I could go on...


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## wtchyhlr (Oct 15, 2002)

:
loving this thread. How come none of this stuff is in the books????


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## Katie's Momma (Jun 11, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahNH*
Another one-the smell of pp pee. Is it just me, or does anyone else notice how incredibly strong it smells now? TMI, I know, but it's been more than half a year and I can still barely stand it. Even dh notices it, he figures it's just more hormonal fun.

OHMYGOD.

Thank you.

I thought this was just me. I had very heightened sense of smell during my pregnancy but expected it to go away. And it did....most of it anyway.....except for pee!


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## pixie-n-hertwoboys (Aug 17, 2003)

I must say one word.... hemeroids. so large you couldn't sit normally for weeks. ICK


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## Lula's Mom (Oct 29, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahNH*
Another one-the smell of pp pee. Is it just me, or does anyone else notice how incredibly strong it smells now? TMI, I know, but it's been more than half a year and I can still barely stand it. Even dh notices it, he figures it's just more hormonal fun.


See, now, I thought there was something wrong with me because of this! I complained to my midwife at a postpartum visit that _I smelled like a damn cat-box,_ and she didn't know what to say! I guess no one else had ever complained of stinky pee before. But I had lovely pp leakage and my underwear stank like cat pee.

The other thing I wasn't expecting: when I sat on the toilet the day after giving birth, I could feel, erm, something wanting to come out of my vagina. I got a mirror, and it seemed the "roof" was caving in and falling out, for lack of a better description!







I was freaking out... PROLAPSE!! I had NO tone left. It eventually went back to its original position, but I was really scared.


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## lasofia (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lula's Mom*
See, now, I thought there was something wrong with me because of this! I complained to my midwife at a postpartum visit that _I smelled like a damn cat-box,_ and she didn't know what to say!

I knew I was pregnant this time right away, I mean within days, because my pee had preggers-smell again. I guess it's the hormones... My midwife says if the funk bothers me to take a small amount of liquid chlorophyll everyday or so.

I was suprised at how much my pelvic floor hurt when I stood sometimes, during stretchy days, like everything was going to fall out then and there.

I was shocked that my hands turned hot and itchy for the last couple months. Hot, hot, hot.

heartburn - I'd read about that, but must have figured that since I'd never had heartburn before that it didn't apply to me. Ha.

Other surprises.. I didn't know about the poop until I was 4 months pregnant and watched a friend deliever. She'd had an enema but that isn't a guarantee. While she was pushing at the end, a little came out and the OB each time just wiped it and tossed the pad, very discreet... I'd always wondered how one pushed out a baby without pooping. I asked around and discovered it one of those unspokens - most people do a little bit. Personally my body emptied itself thoughroughly in early labor (pretty common) and if there was any poop in pushing it was whisked off so quickly DH and best friend didn't notice.

I expected to be thirsty after delivery, but after 36 hours labor (early and active together, but unable to eat or drink more than a sip at a time) I had no idea just HOW thirsty I could be. I had bottles of Recharge ready, and I drank them all.

I expected the first poop pp to be horrible, but due to spinach and juice it was fine. However, I didn't realize how dehydrated and therefore constipated it was possible to get in the first two weeks of nursing, and had a horrible, horrible experience. *shudder* This next time, I'll drink juice until I'm swimming the first month.

I was glad I'd read Annie Lamott's "Operating Instructions" in which she writes of lying on her side 2 days pp and looking at her stomach lying beside her "...like a small friendly puppy." Exactly. Big and squishy. Felt like a waterbed.


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## Jennifer H (Jan 19, 2003)

Oh, I forgot all about my breasts looking like fireboats during fleet week when I stepped out of the shower and spraying the mirror from 5 feet away!!


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

sitting here shaking in fear







:


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shannon0218*
Ummmm, so how does one prevent the pooping???? Perhaps an enema as soon as labour begins????


They did that years ago, along with shaving the pubic hair.

The problem is that you are not "done" when you think you are "done" the end of the enema arrives when you are delivered.

In France, I have been told and read (Thank you Dr. LaMaze )the women do the enema themselves before they leave for the hospital.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

T


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## herewegoagain (Jul 1, 2004)

I love this thread!

Let's see if I can think of any that haven't been mentioned yet...

That freaky feeling the first time you stand up after delivering. I remember after having my first, the nurse said she would help me to the bathroom. I said "no, I'm fine". As soon as I stand up "WHOA, no I'm not!"

A new one for me this time--numb pinkies (not just once in a while--one has been numb for about a month!). I though it was from sleeping on my hands. Doc told me today it's from swelling inside the wrists.

I never knew there was an ultrasound gel that had blue dye in it that I'm allergic to.

I never knew you could push hard enough to blow out a blood vessel in your eye (and capillaries in cheeks--yeah I was REAL cute after birth of DD#1).

ETA one I forgot--blood sugar bottom-out. Ugh! Happened when I was in the grocery store last weekend--1st time ever! I got all dizzy and nauseous, went into cold sweat, vision went funky and my brain just went fuzzy. I popped open the applesauce I had bought as soon as I got in the car and was fine within seconds, but still, that was scary!


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## mama kate (Jul 19, 2003)

I don't know if I should :LOL







or







!!!!!!!!!!But right now I feel like









I lot of it I've heard of but being due any time now really freaks me the hell out!!! Thanks Though ladies!

I'm sure I'll be here looking for remedies for the lovely things like 'roids & such afterwards!!!


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## Caroline248 (Nov 22, 2003)

Okay...I was shocked when I saw how my "nether regions" looked after having my first. I thought I was turned inside out!! My poor dh was trying to be reassuring.... when I asked if he thought it would go back to normal, his was response was ....

I sure as hell hope so...!!!!!









Caroline


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I thought since I had been privy to the birth of 7 of 8 siblings I knew everything! I helped with everything, weighing, diapering, feeding, babysitting.

DH and I took the ACHI homebirth preparation class twice with two different educators; one class in the early pregnancy and one in the late pregnancy. The ACHI series is as close to a midwifery unit as a primip can get.

I felt great during my pregnancy; I never had morning sickness; we traveled to Europe - I went to the gym three times a week - rode a ten speed daily - I even jogged! I felt great!! I prepared and ate well before the pregnancy and during. I already had varicose veins, so I wore elastic stockings even during the summer months - I was careful not to get constipated and I put my legs up and exercised.

Yet I was not prepared for:

A varicosity in one labia that throbbed!
Engorgement in my arm pits
Breasts on my baby - boys?!? (it is called witch's milk, and expressing the milk can cause mastitis - who knew?)
Pain in the pubic bone
Pain in one hip that felt like the thigh bone was going to disconnect.
Sciatica
bloody nose
My daughter's first period in her diapers
An appetite that would not quit
dizziness
pushing while on my back
counting down from ten during pushing
pushing with no urge
cheerleading during the pushing stage

I had plenty of problems that I encountered, but knew that this was normal, but the rest were, when I discovered them was - WTF?

The kicker that came early in my pregnancy that was no surprise but angered me still was the fact that my employer congratulated me on my pregnancy and then found ways of getting rid of me...


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## starrynight (Jan 10, 2002)

Great thread, but boy is it bringing back memories. I've got about 6 weeks left in this pregnancy, so I guess it's best to be prepared.
Last time the things that surprised me were:
#1 - The unbelievable amount of breast milk that came when my milk finally arrived. It was like an endless fountain. I was constantly soaked. And those little tiny breast pads? Puh-lease. It got to the point where I was wearing two cloth diapers tied to my chest with a scarf to soak up all the milk. We did tons of laundry and it was all from me! I could have easily nursed three babies. Of course, everyone kept telling me to bottle it and like an idiot I didn't listen. I should have, and if I have the same thing this time I'm definitely going to bottle and freeze!

#2 How horrible pushing out a baby is. I kept reading and hearing from people about how pushing was the best part and how good it felt and yes, it burns when they crown. I thought pushing was pure hell. I did it for 4 hours and it felt like I was never going to get him out.

#3 I never knew how hard the post partum period was. You see people out with their babies a week after giving birth and they seem fine. I was still wearing my bath robe! Giving birth was really tiring. I had a PPH, which is partly why I felt so bad, but it's also just really hard on your body. It was also kind of scary to have that first bowel movement. I remember holding a warm wash cloth down there, feeling fearful that my insides were going to come out. My dad's girlfriend had told me to have lots of prune juice and bran muffins home. I'm glad I listened to her. Thank goodness for peri-bottles too. I never even knew what a peri-bottle was before that!

#4 Body smells. I remember that too. My nether regions smelled funky for months. I would take a thorough bath and when I got out I could still smell something down there.

#5 Post partum fuzzy brain. I was so lucid during my son's birth, but afterward I was pretty out of it mentally. I remember having trouble remembering simple things. I was so focused on the baby I guess. It's like I would always take the easiest route driving anywhere, because I was worried I'd get lost otherwise (which I did a few times.) I just had trouble concentrating. It actually kind of scared me for awhile. I was worried I was never going to get my normal intellect back. Looking back on it, I'm almost sure a lot of it was caused by lack of sleep. I'm pretty normal now!

#6. How much you love your child. I know this is such a cliché and you always hear it, but I don't think you can really understand how it feels until you experience it. I think the wiring in our brains change when we become parents. I'd never felt that kind of fierce protective love before. It totally blew my mind. It changed everything. I remember looking at people - strangers walking down the street, and I'd think that person is _someone's_ baby. I honestly didn't know how much joy a child brings into your life. I'd always thought of the responsiblity and the work involved. I just never knew it was so wonderful too.


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

The third nipple...and the urge to smell rubber cement!


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

How the fear that there just could be something wrong with your baby post partum and there's nothing you can do because the hospital staff has to okay it first.

How panicked you feel when your child has a post partum fever and you're hemoraging so you don't know which to take care of first - the blood gushing from between your legs or your child's fever.

How mad at the doctor you are for him changing the requirements for you to go in and you almost have the baby in the car!

That there is indeed something wrong with your perfect 10 fingered, 10 toed, 2 eyes, 2 ears etc child that the hospital isn't going to deal with because its "cosmetic."


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Greaseball*
The third nipple...and the urge to smell rubber cement!









Ummmm, third nipple.....care to elaborate???


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shannon0218*
Ummmm, third nipple.....care to elaborate???

It sprouted up when I was pg with #1. It's not as cool as one might think; it's really tiny, has no areola and is on the underside of one breast. It does lactate, but it's so small there's no way a baby could nurse off of it.

I've actually heard it's common...


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Greaseball*
It sprouted up when I was pg with #1. It's not as cool as one might think; it's really tiny, has no areola and is on the underside of one breast. It does lactate, but it's so small there's no way a baby could nurse off of it.

I've actually heard it's common...

OMG I have never, ever heard of this!! I'm going to have to ask my mom (a lead LC for a large hospital) about this now! Seriously, is this just one of those things that happens but isn't in the books?


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

A lot of other people on MDC have mentioned it! Do a search in the I'm Pregnant forum or archives.

I was hoping for a 4th nipple this time, but no.







:


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## Finnsma (Nov 2, 2002)

LOL Ah, the 3rd nipple! I had one sprout up with my first. It's right beside my right nipple. It really just gets in the way with proper latch early on. My 2nd had a horrible time latching properly on that side for the first couple months. Fortunately it doesn't seem to bother anyone after the first couple months.







Just one of those freaky things I guess.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

one of the boys from one of the all boy "singing" groups in the last decade or so had a natural third nipple...

Its pretty common.

Me? I have a side duct. Instead of coming out of my nipple with the rest of them, its off to one side so I can squirt to the right as the same time as squirting straight ahead.









Hurts like hell when it gets plugged too.


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## Finnsma (Nov 2, 2002)

LOL Side squirting! Cool! I had my left nipple pierced for years and though I haven't had jewelry in it while I've been nursing these last almost 4 years, the holes have remained open and can squirt 3 ways on that side! THe kids and dh think it's great entertainment! :LOL


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## WithHannahsHeart (Apr 22, 2003)

I had a great and empowering birth, though long. The two weird things that i was not prepared for were: One, I actually didn't feel her come out! I had had such a long and exhausting labor, that i think i had some kind of out of body experience on those last two pushes. In fact, she shot out so damn fast (i think from trying to get anterior while i was pushing, she just came out like a cork from a bottle with a spin on it) i didn't ever feel the 'ring of fire'. I was surprised that it didn't feel good to push







; i had heard that it did. Oh, and i had very little urge to push, again i think from exhaustion.

Two, i fainted when i was sitting on the toilet after they stitched me up - both my blood pressure and blood sugar just plummetted. I had to drink three things of juice before i could get up!

Oh, and after i finally got her in my room, i was so shocked at how very alert she was, though not fussing or crying. That's what an unmedicated birth will get ya







.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

I thought of another thing.

I was dumbfounded when my son was born, he wasn't crying and I was terrified that there was something wrong with him, like he wasn't breathing or something.

In fact, he was fine - very alert, looking all around. Looked like he was smiling (my midwife even told me to not let anyone ever tell me that that was "just gas" !).


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Oh! I have another! The SCARIEST thing that happened to me after ds was born, was him vomitting up mucous.(TMI) I didn't know it could happen and it scared the living sh*t outta me and dh! He started heaving and almost fighting for breath. A nurse had just come in and she grabbed him and turned him over onto her arm and started massaging his throat and this HUGE glob of the stuff came out. He was kind of choking on it. I was so scared about him not getting enough milk and it looked like a huge quantity of solidfied milk had come up. He was born very quickley and the nurse explained that the mucous he either aspirated or that was lining his stomach (?) had to come up and out in order for him to be able to properly digest the milk and I shouldn't be alarmed (oh SURE! Tell a Mama NOT to worry!







). He was FINE afterward! No crying or anything, just started nursing again.

Oh, and brick dust urine! I didn't know about that one either!

When I got into the shower just after giving birth , I can remember reaching down to wash between my legs and gasping as it felt like there were things outside that should have been inside







. It was just the sweeling, but the nurse must 've heard me cuz she cheerfully called out "yes, that *is* yours and it *WILL* go back, so don't worry". I couldn't help but smile







.


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

OH, and FWIW, I didn't have any hemmorhoids. Granulation tissue I had, but I was spared the hemmorhoids







. Go figure?~


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

I was also born alert but not crying. My brother was born asleep.

No one told me my labia were going to swell up and become the size of testicles! Fortunately it only lasted 3 days. I didn't even look at it in the mirror, I was so scared.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

How about having a shower later in the day after you give birth and finding that you had shat and no one had bothered to clean your bits up for you so you had been sitting in feces for hours at that point!







:

No wonder I had a post partum infection. Nevermind the GBS! Fecal germs are just as if not more notorious for causing infections.


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:

No one told me my labia were going to swell up and become the size of testicles! Fortunately it only lasted 3 days. I didn't even look at it in the mirror, I was so scared.
Icepacks are your friend.







:

My son was also very "mucousy" and he not only mewled like a kitten, he snored! Bad enough DP snored, but DS?

DD was a strange baby - whenever I picked her up I was terrified I was breaking every bone in her body because all I heard was "snap crackle pop." I was told this was "just her joints." Sure, but "just her joints" doesn't register when you're trying to be as gingerly as possible and you swear the sounds coming from your child are sounds of a baby's body being mutilated by your hands. DS only did that twice.

One thing I haven't mentioned before was how family members of your other half would react when you would tell them that the child wasn't going to get "daddy's name." We're not married so I don't see a need for either of my children to have gotten their father's last name. They, however, had fits.


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## mealymama (Jun 8, 2004)

I shook when I was in transition, in addition to puking and having a terrible case of the runs. The shaking got so bad that my teeth were chattering and finally they gave me benedryl, and it stopped.

In general, I wish I had understood how messy and un-pretty labor is. I mean, when you have explosive runs, and you're in the shower, and you're doubled over vomiting down the drain, and the heaving is forcing things out of both ends, and the proud dad to be is hanging outside the bathroom door wanting to know why you won't let him in and all you can do is moan that you'll be out in a bit... it isn't exactly like it is in the movies. I mean, how does ones lipstick stay on through that?


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mealymama*
I mean, how does ones lipstick stay on through that?
















:

You just have to keep re-applying it, I guess.......







:


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mealymama*
I mean, how does ones lipstick stay on through that?

*L* Personal make-up artist wasn't on your list of "what to pack" ?


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## Bethla (May 29, 2004)

That you can barely walk after you've given birth! I thought there was something wrong with me. I was in so much pain for at least a month after giving birth. Also, I couldn't urinate for quite sometime after I had each of my sons. It helped to hang out in a warm shower!


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## BoobyJuice (Jun 25, 2003)

Quote:

Boobyjuice! You Are Hilarious! Thanks For The Lol!
I can only asume you are refereing to my happy, healthy, hippy style pregnant books comment (since the rest of my post was more whiny than funny). But you all know the books I mean - I was reading about women sleeping between contractions and practically orgasming during deliver. Man was I in for a huge shock during labor







: .


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## mealymama (Jun 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bethla*
That you can barely walk after you've given birth! I thought there was something wrong with me.

Me, too!
But I don't think that's true for most women.

Boobyjuice, I have one word:
"Rushes"
I mean, is that another way of saying 'being dismembered with a bone-saw'?


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## msrog (Mar 28, 2004)

My husband has a tiny third nipple, sort of at the bottom of his rib cage on one side. He insists it's a mole, but I had heard of men having them, and it looks EXACTLY like his other two, just smaller... (same type skin, shape, height, etc.) His moles look very different. Oh, and I had read years ago that the third nipples tend to be somewhere along an invisible line you could picture being from your nipples angled down to your privates. (So supposedly you wouldn't find one in your armpit or on your neck...)

Haha, I'd forgotten about that icky smell you have from the locchia... And I loved my little peri squirt bottle, aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

Oh, I couldn't believe other women wanted to have sex so soon after giving birth... I still was so tender down there that not only was dh not even allowed to come near, but I jumped really high and nearly fell off the table when my OB tried to do my 6 week exam... We agreed I wasn't ready, and rescheduled for a couple weeks later, haha!


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Things I wish I had known...

1. That my nose would swell up and look like a mushroom on my face in the last months of pregnancy (but at least it shrunk).

2. That my boobs would NEVER be the same again (bigger, saggier)

During pregnancy:

1. That the baby sometimes would feel like it was digging her little toe into my cervix. It felt like getting a Pap smear from the inside-out. NOT very much fun when walking.

2. That my hips and pelvis would feel "wiggly" and structurally unstable during my last month of pregnancy. It's the hormone relaxin, and boy, I could sure feel it kicking in.

3. That during transition, I would feel more claustrophobic fear than I've ever felt in my life, before or since.

4. That after the c-section, I felt like I'd been ripped open, like a blown-up tulip.

5. That they give you fishnet underwear in the hospital. Man, I have never felt so NOT like fishnet underwear as then!

6. That I'd feel like I was burning-up hot: I turned my room temp down to something like 60 before it felt even mildly okay.


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CJ 5*

Last thing ( I mean the real last thing) all that crap at babies R us is a waste of money. Ask AP moms for the essentials and beg your friends to give you gift certificates or exchange exchange exchange after your shower.

***Oh, this is SOOOO TRUE!!! This is so true! Maybe we should start a thread about the most useless thing we got at Babies R Us. Well, on a sub-thread, here are some things I didn't know would be completely useless:

Stuff I Wish I'd Known, 'Cause If I Had, I Woulda Saved the $$$:

1. Cribs, bedding, anything crib-related was totally useless
2. Baby monitor: We coslept, so *I WAS* the baby monitor!
3. Baby bathtub. She bathed with Mom.
4. Wipe warmer. Whatta waste!
5. Diaper Genie.







I used disposables...and TOOK OUT THE TRASH more than once a year!
6. Nursing pillow

There are more, but that's just what I can think of off the top of my head.


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Mamid said:


> That hospital staff make value judgements on how you parent immediately after birth and refuse to take into account the fact that you have just given birth or are having problems post partum.
> 
> /QUOTE]
> 
> ...


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *azyre*
as pregnancy progresses you are more likely to wet yourself when vommiting. i rationalised this was to get me used to someone ELSE puking and weeing on me LOL









:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:







:


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## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:

Like I have those little graduated ounce markings on my boob!








: My hospital wasn't like that... but the milk I pumped when I finally got ahold of the pump they had I was told to toss it if DS didn't eat it all because they don't store it.







So I watched my milk get tossed in the garbage.

However, they were "breast is best. if you need more, attach baby." But did they give DS a non-latex nipple when I asked for one? NOPE. that's why he wouldn't have the ebm!







:

Oh.. and they did give him a non-latex soother







but a non-latex nipple? Now that was out of the question!


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## mimim (Nov 2, 2003)

This thread has me laughing so hard I'm crying.









How about...

You can forget that it's a BABY that you are pushing out. I remember being surprised for a second after my boys were born. I'd been so wrapped up in pushing that I lost track of the purpose.

That you might not care to look at the strategically placed mirror between you legs or to reach down and feel the crowning head. I know this is supposed to encourage you to carry on, but I was way too busy to expend any extra energy feeling the head. I could care less what was coming out of me - I just wanted it OUT!

You might not even notice the sex at first. To me, the gender of my baby was totally not important in those first moments. I didn't even register their tiny penises for several minutes.

Do NOT eat bacon and eggs for breakfast if you think you may be going into early labor. I puked up nasty crumbly bacon bits contantly through my second labor - every ten minutes my head was in a bucket.

This has been mentioned I think, but you might still poop even if you've had an enema or diarrhea. I was sh**ting almost as often as I was puking with my second, but I still gave my Dr. a very nice present just before my DS crowned.

That you may not want your mother there and it's ok to kick her (or anyone else who annoys you) out of the room.

You do NOT need a crib or bassinet!

This one has been mentioned several times, but I think it's the most important. *Breastfeeding does hurt at first.* Having excruciatingly sore nipples for a week or two is perfectly normal and does not necessarily signal any problems. NONE of the books tell you this. They all say that pain signals latch problems. I was so worried that I was doing something wrong. I always tell first time moms about this and let them know that while you may feel like screaming while the baby is latching on at first, it's normal and it will go away soon!

And one that I wish I DIDN'T know: That afterbirth pains get worse with each child. Yikes, I'm already nervous about dealing with them and I'm only 5 weeks into my 3rd pregnancy.


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## Pinoikoi (Oct 30, 2003)

Angelo was preemie, and I wish someone had told me that preemies scream when you change thier diaper. I thought I was somehow hurting him.


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charles Baudelaire*

5. That they give you fishnet underwear in the hospital. Man, I have never felt so NOT like fishnet underwear as then!










:

But they were so great to have.

I never knew:
-That walking around dialated to 4-5 cms (with dc #3) for a couple of weeks would be such a mind game and such physical discomfort for me.

-About the awful constipation that I went through with all three pregnancies, during my last trimester, would happen even with stool softeners, fiber supplements, ample water intake (ridiculous amounts actually), and a high fiber diet.

-That hospital pads are really THAT BIG

-That I could have such varied birth experiences.

-That you really do have room enough in your heart and enough love for all of your babies after the first baby

-That I would eat a salad, bowl of soup, cheeseburger, french fries, and a milkshake and then turn to my dh (sipping on his milkshake) and ask "Are you going to drink that? If not, I will" :LOL


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## bwylde (Feb 19, 2004)

Oh yeah, I didn't know about pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome. I never noticed with the first as I had it anyway and wore a brace at work, but when I quit/after having the baby, it wasn't too bad, but it came back with a vengance this pregnancy!

The weight thing boggled me. I didn't lose anything giving birth, then I gained about 30lbs the first 6 months nursing by not changing my diet. That was really weird as I was expecting a big drop in weight. I'm scared to see how big I'm going to get this time!!

Just about everything related to my emergency c-section was "I wish I had of known" at the time but I'd never known anyone who had one and the books dont' really say much.


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## Caroline248 (Nov 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaOui*







:

-That hospital pads are really THAT BIG

:LOL


And that you really NEEDED them to be that big......

Caroline


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## weebitty2 (Jun 16, 2004)

*LOL*

*That they give you fishnet underwear in the hospital. Man, I have never felt so NOT like fishnet underwear as then!*

You know DH asked me if I was going to dye my hospital fishnet skivvies black to "match the ones you have at home"?

He was nearly knocked out with a lunch tray


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alaskanteach*
Angelo was preemie, and I wish someone had told me that preemies scream when you change thier diaper. I thought I was somehow hurting him.

Ds did this too. Didn't cry when he was hungry, but BOY, look out when you took off his diaper. He'd shiver too, poor kiddo. He wasn't a preemie tho.


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## pumpkinhead (Sep 15, 2003)

Oh and those hospital pads? THEY'RE LIKE SKI'S!!!!


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

Um... how about the "baby blues?" Someone should have warned me that I would be psycho for almost three weeks after the birth! I mean, it is just such a tremendous amplification of all your emotions, weepiness, rage, despair - even my sense of humor! I remember watching an episode of that animated show "Father of the Pride" and laughing waaayy too hysterically and feeling like I was stoned, and I haven't smoked pot in YEARS!

Oh! And the painful feeling of my ribs moving back into place for a few days after..ouch!

And yes, someone should have warned me about feeling like I had been hit by a truck for about a month. My chiropractor and stool softener were my new best friends.









It is good though to be able to laugh about this stuff now.


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkinhead*
Oh and those hospital pads? THEY'RE LIKE SKI'S!!!!









:







:







:







:







:







:







:

I wore Depends Underwear for two weeks 'cause they were more comfortable and more reliable than those crazy pads.


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## Karennnnn (Jan 2, 2002)

Ya know, those hospital fishnet things? They were way too small for me and I'm not even a big person. I felt like I couldn't even get one leg into them.
What I did was buy a bunch of big, cheap undies at Walmart and wore them for the first few weeks after the baby was born. They hold the big pads and it doesn't matter if they get stained.
Also on the pads... I think Always makes a plus sized pad; they're perfect for postpartum.
Take care,
Karen


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## whimsy (Aug 6, 2004)

*I had no idea the nurses would want to check my pads. I bet I looked at her like she had 2 heads.

*That they push around on your belly to see if your uterus is shrinking. I thought they had forgotten I'd just had a c-section. Hurt like the dickens!


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

My good friend told me, "don't worry, as soon as the baby comes out the pain stops instantly". YEAH RIGHT! Hmmmf...
I kept waiting and saying, "Why does it still hurt! Why does it still hurt!" :LOL


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## happymamajenni (Jun 2, 2004)

speaking of those fishnet undies.......they gave me a pair, which were too small, until a wonderful nurse came in and said..."those stupid night nurses never give out the larger size of anything." She gave me larger underwear and a larger gown...God bless her soul!
Then later on I put on the bigger undies and put the old ones in the bathroom. This new b**** of a nurse came in and said in a scolding tone, "you know these can be washed out and reused!". I said "Well, if I was able to even stand for five minutes without passing out I might do that, but as long as I can't, I guess you'll have to do it for me!".
Did anyone keep theirs? I bleached my big ones to take to the hospital in case they don't have big ones this time. (I am going to a different hospital)


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## AmandasMom (Nov 19, 2001)

I brought my own undies this time, old ones that were perfectly ok to get stained. Was sooooo much happier with my own and would suggest everyone bring their own undies


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## NightOwl (Sep 12, 2004)

I'm only 9 weeks into my first pregnancy, but have already been very surprised and annoyed by some things. Now some of these things I'd heard about, but people talk about them in a lighthearted joking way and now I don't think it's funny!









I didn't know I'd be so tired. I really really don't understand how women work during pregnancy. I sleep extra each night and take 2-4 hour naps every afternoon. And no matter how much sleep I get I'm tired. And when I've tried to sleep less (because people told me sleeping too much would make me feel more tired) it just made me super extra exhausted.

I didn't know that I'd lose my sex drive. And poor DF had heard that pg women have more of a drive. But I have almost none now. When I conceived DF were intimate at least twice a day. Now? We've been together once in the past week. DF is very understanding, but it's frustrating to me in a way. I just don't feel like myself.

I didn't know that mood swings could be so bad! I go from being all sweet and snuggly to DF, to crying and feeling like the world is ending, to being angry and yelling, then back again. All within a few hours.







:

I didn't know I'd feel like I'm out on a limb with no way of climbing gently back down. That's how pregnancy feels to me. I didn't know I'd be so scared of the idea of giving birth. I guess it's so scarey now because I know that this baby has to come out somehow!!!


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## JesiLynne (Aug 25, 2004)

I didn't know that I'd lose my sex drive. And poor DF had heard that pg women have more of a drive. But I have almost none now. When I conceived DF were intimate at least twice a day. Now? We've been together once in the past week. DF is very understanding, but it's frustrating to me in a way. I just don't feel like myself

IT WILL MOST LIKELY RETURN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was the same way, now DH can't keep up! For him, that is saying something.


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## Stone Fence (Mar 10, 2004)

I'm with Shannon. This is scarey. I can't walk away from the computer.


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NightOwl*
I didn't know that I'd lose my sex drive. And poor DF had heard that pg women have more of a drive. But I have almost none now. When I conceived DF were intimate at least twice a day. Now? We've been together once in the past week. DF is very understanding, but it's frustrating to me in a way. I just don't feel like myself.

Whereas in my second pregnancy, with my toddler son still nursing, my dh counts himself lucky if he gets it once a week....no one told me that O'ing can HURT!!!!!





















when your uterus contracts like there's no tomorrow!

As my midwife told me, the good news is my uterus is much stronger and will be more effective at pushing this baby out. (The bad news is that the afterpains will be much worse...run away! run away!)


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Quirky*
no one told me that O'ing can HURT!!!!!





















when your uterus contracts like there's no tomorrow!

I went through a while in my second trimester (the horny part? HA!) where even my clit hurt! I didn't know that all my bits would get so tender so soon. Darn extra blood. All you ever hear is that "you'll be so much more sensitive and lovemaking can be so much more pleasurable" blah, blah, blah. Pffft.

I also have to mention the cervix-kicking! That was one of the scariest things so far. I thought it was dilating way early when that started about week 20 or so. Still the most painful thing it does. :-/


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## anamama (Sep 9, 2003)

:LOL It has been so fun to read everyone's responses! I think I was most unprepared for how torturous and evil pitocin is and I honestly totally forgot about the placenta and was surprised when I felt the urge to push and something else came out! I was surprised that one of the delivery nurses in the hospital actually told me to lie on my back and push until my face was purple as she counted backwards from 10. I told her that she needed to get the h*ll out of my room.
I also wasn't prepared for my nipples to turn dark chocolate brown (I'm a fair skinned person), or to howl my head off during labor.
I hope it comforts some of you first time mamas that, even after a 36 hour labor complete with vomiting, an epidural (after hard labor on pitocin for 12 hours), and all kinds of interventions that I hadn't planned on, I didn't tear or poop, and didn't need the peri bottle because I felt totally normal pp except for the bleeding, which was just like a heavy period.
We'll see what the cosmos serves up this time around.


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## DalaiMama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anamama*
I also wasn't prepared for my nipples to turn dark chocolate brown (I'm a fair skinned person),









ahh yes, what my husband has termed "the nursing nipples." Mine turned a darker shade of pink, from almost skin toned, but what really surprised me was the size increase! We're talking from quarter sized to, oh... well, much bigger than a quarter. :LOL They seemed to shrink a little after my son cut way back on his nursing, but just last week, my hisband said... "They're baaack." :LOL I hadn't even noticed that they'd grown again.


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## kater07 (Jan 6, 2002)

I wish I'd known I'd turn into a 3 headed monster this time around. I am sooooo mad, pissy, hateful, beside myself, all the time. I hardly find anyone enjoyable, funny or fun at all. I want to be left the heck alone at all times.

I wish that someone had told me there was no way I'd ever have a sex drive again. I never get horny during pregnancy and post partum was not better. And the few times I thought I might actually get to orgasm during sex, DH couldn't keep his stinking hands off my breasts, so letdown happened and all my chances went out the window. Not only did letdown ruin the potential for orgasm, but it ruined sex for me altogether b/c I dried up down there and it just plain HURT after that. I haven't gotten horny this time either, but at least I am not nursing, so I have only colostrum and no letdown.

Oh, and my doctor was a super stupid jack a** who told me during a 3 wk pp visit (don't know why I was there at that time) that we could go ahead and have sex. Did I WANT sex, not a chance in heck, but DH took that as a chance to start whining that the doctor said I was perfectly ok to have sex and that I should WANT it too. THREE WEEKS AFTER A C/S. WTF? And then the same JA would NOT give me anti-depressants and told me that PPD was NOT in his job description.

I wish I'd known that there's not really anything to alleviate heartburn and that I'd feel like puking all the time b/c of it. I wish I'd known that I'd hate myself and how I look even more this time than last time. Certain sounds REALLY bother me, and I know they wouldn't bother me if I wasn't so hormonal. I wish I 'd known that during my 2nd pregnancy I'd be WAY ready to have it over with by now (29 weeks) when last time I loved it, enjoyed DS inside me and was actually sad when I went into labor.

I am sure other stuff will come up.


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## happymamajenni (Jun 2, 2004)

I also enjoyed having my dd inside me and missed the belly baby like it was a different baby than the baby they put on my chest. I felt like my dd was someone else's baby, and I didn't feel like a mom for a really long time.
I hope it's different this time.


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## kimmysue2 (Feb 26, 2003)

That Doctors do not real read your list of do's and don'ts
That my gums would bleed everytime I brushed my teeth
that my hair would fall out
biggy, I would hurt more after the baby came out then when I was pushing him out.


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## crayon (Aug 24, 2002)

It would have been nice if someone could have made it clear to me that when they said "you may have leaky breast" the really ment "you WILL leak gallons!"

I also agree with the skin issue, I was like "what the hell is wrong with my baby??" I was glad my mom was there and said "Ang, it is normal, she has been in fluid for 10 months!"

It would have been nice to hear "I screamed my brains out! Go for it girl, let it out" Instead I have heard from many women and my MIL "the lady down the hall screamed her head off and I was like 'SHUT UP LADY' " WTF?? I screamed so loud, just becaue I wanted everyone else to shut up- so I screamed over them so I couldnt hear them.


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## Village Mama (Jul 22, 2004)

My midwife had never heard of this happening before...
When my pelvis started to tighten back up after the birth somthing pinched the nerves above my clit (







) and every time I got aroused it would hurt!
This went on for almost a year...(imagine... ooohhhh!







ow, ow,ow ow







: NOOOOOOOO!!!!








With my second I had brutal morning sickness and kept peeing when barfing!
I always give the knowing wink to the women you see out in public, when when sneezing they squeeze thier legs together!
I wish somebody had told me that the nurses at the hospital dont really help you through your labor and how great it would have been to have a doula.
And that a positive outlook towards birth itself does wonders for your labor.
I am with the previous poster that wrote about missing her mom. I really missed being close to my family and wanted to share the experience,


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## Karennnnn (Jan 2, 2002)

Hurting more after the baby came out than WHEN he came out. YES!!!
I had a natural birth with my son. After he was born I said, and I quote..
"I'll take that demerol now please".
I got half a dose of demerol and some tylenol because I was nursing. I am actually impressed that was taken into consideration!
My sister likes to make fun of me because I kept making phone calls right afterwards and was saying "I just got some demerol hehehe!!" just like that to EVERYONE!!
But yeah, the one thing that scares me about having a home birth this time is not the birth but the afterwards. I know there won't be any demerol. I guess I'll just have to get used to ice packs down there.
Leaky breasts. Mine didn't really leak too badly but I wore nursing pads for a few months until I felt confident. When my milk would come in though it would pour out of my boob. I thought it was amazing and incredible and FREAKING WEIRD!!!
I think that people DO tell you this, but that when you hear a baby crying or see one or talk about nursing, your milk lets down.
And along the lines of nurses not helping you, in some cases they're great in the delivery unit but in the mother/baby unit they kind of just leave you be and can't answer any questions. In some cases that's fine, but not if you're a first time mom. The one on one attention some of us need is either not there or it's the wrong kind of attention.
Geez I hope we're not scaring people!


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

I have a pregnant coworker, and I knew that pregnant women drank a lot of water, but she said she has *cravings* for water. Not just "drink a lot because you should", but like, "must have water!". So that surprised me. I guess it makes sense though, because you have so much more fluid in your body.


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## happymamajenni (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Village Mama*
With my second I had brutal morning sickness and kept peeing when barfing!
I always give the knowing wink to the women you see out in public, when when sneezing they squeeze thier legs together!

I know how this feels. My bladder has always been weak, but with my last pregnancy, it got worse. I'd get showered and dress in a business suit for work and by the time I got to the kitchen, any smell of food from the previous day or from hubby cooking his breakfast would make me puke in the kitchen garbage. But I'd also pee my pants even if I'd just gone. I'd have to wash up and change my clothes, so I started allowing extra time in case this happened. AHHH!
Now my bladder is even worse. If I don't wear pads my underwear are soaked by the end of the day. Even if I don't cough or sneeze and I go to the bathroom regularly it just seems to happen still. I do, however notice that this time the baby seems to irritate my bladder all the time, and I can feel him bouncing around on it when I walk.







:


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

VERY BAD afterpains after the birth of 2+ babies. NOBODY ever warned me about them...

Edited to add that I also peed all over myself when I puked while I had morning sickness... I thought it was only me and that I must have a horrible unusual weak bladder ot something!! Thanks for making me feel more normal! I must work better on those Kegels...


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## carlasher (Sep 20, 2004)

Attention/flirting from other men.

It has increased by by 300% since I started showing. :LOL NO ONE warned me about that one.


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Persephone*
I knew that pregnant women drank a lot of water, but she said she has *cravings* for water. Not just "drink a lot because you should", but like, "must have water!". So that surprised me.

I actually had an aversion to water during my siw weeks of morning sickness. It would make me MORE nauseous! The only things I could drink were chocolate milk, Hawaiian Punch, and Fruit punch flavored Capri Sun.


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## Village Mama (Jul 22, 2004)

The flirting! :LOL Thats so funny you mentioned that! Lots of men have a thing for pregnant women! My partner was asked by a couple of customers at his work if he was still able to have sex with me when I was pregnant







( inappropriate?!!!)


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## JesiLynne (Aug 25, 2004)

That the people at hospitals who are there to help you,( nurses, bfding consultants, doctors) end up making you feel like crap just because you don't have a degree in that specialty.
The nurse who took care of me right after I gave birth was a HUGE [email protected]#$%,
acting like I was a huge pain in her [email protected]#.
The bfding consultant who came to see me the next day was totally rude to my mom.
My mom came to see me at the hospital, and then the consultant came in and introduced herself.
My mom was excited and said, " Oh, I'm a bfding consultant too. I bfed 5 babies."
The woman looked at her like she was just a crazy person and said something along the lines that she would be the one to give me advice so that my mom wouldn't give me the wrong idea.
My son ended up in the NICU because he was a premie, and one of the weekend nurses pushed and pushed and pushed formula supplementing b/c " He will lose weight if you don't"
No matter what I did or said, I was the new mom who couldn't possibly know more than her b/c she went to school for 4 years.
I'm the oldest of 5 kids, not to mention one of 20 plus cousins who I took care of when they were babies and have a 6 year old adopted daughter, plus a wonderful crunchy mom who taught me well.
HOW DARE SHE TELL ME I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And God forbid I not take my kids to a pediatrician and jsut go with my GP who has seen my entire family for years and knows the medical history. I was terrified that someone was not going to give me my baby when it came time to go home because I didn't want to follow all their mainstream bullcrap.
THANK GOD FOR HOMEBIRTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

This may be TMI but I really wished someone would've mentioned to me that my *private* area would never LOOK the same again.
And that it would be a huge gaping hole for awhile after birth. ARGH. I remember sitting on the toilet getting up enough courage to look down there and





















:















It got better.







but never back to the perfect little opening it was before the whole thing began. Yeah, probably common sense if I would've stopped to think about it...

And the pooping (or lack thereof) after the birth. I knew about the pooping during labor but no one told me my poop would turn into bowling balls after I had dd. I dreaded pooping more than anything.

And I wish someone would've told me about engorgement. Wow were my boobs big, hard and scarey looking. I learned later that I really should've been wearing a bra the whole time to keep them *confined* at least a little. Poor dd would choke from the letdown.

Ahhhh.... looking forward to it all again at the end of Feb.


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## Lila (Dec 5, 2001)

My midwife wouldn't leave until I had had a bm (I didn't in labour) and I was privately afraid to. Nobody told me that for WEEKS after birth whenever I sat on the toilet (because I was so open "down there") it felt like all of my insides were going to spill out. (icky)

the after birth shakes were a surprise for me, as well.

ALSO- my biggie
That my first child would seem like a complete stranger after the baby came. This toddler, whom I had nursed and shared my bed with for the first 18 months of her life, who had been my pride and joy, my angel for the last 2 years, would come into my room an hour after the birth of my second, and I would feel as though I didn't know her. That was scary. I cried about her for days. It was about a week before she seemed normally familiar to me again.


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## Karennnnn (Jan 2, 2002)

Speaking of insides falling out...
After I had a c-section, my stomach felt like absolute mush; like there were no muscles at all; like they had been severed. I suppose they were eh? On the car ride home, my stomach jiggled with every single bump. I thought maybe that's what happened after birth period.
A year later when my son was born via vbac, none of this happened. Not that I had abs of steel afterwards, but the jello sensation didn't occur.
Just one more reason not to have a c-section!


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## heket (Nov 18, 2003)

Thanks ladies, it's good to be reminded of all those things I've conveniently forgotten with the romanticized notion of birth. :LOL

I just wanted to double another response I saw somewhere about dh not being the doting new father. I should've known better, as he's not terribly expressive. But I truly thought he'd be more sympathetic and understanding of the wonders and changes. Instead, he was pretty indifferent about the whole event -- until she was born.









As for this time around, I wish I would have know how much more extreme things would be -- how much more crazy, weepy, angry, moody, sick, etc. It's really throwing me for a loop.


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## carolsly (Oct 5, 2004)

I read The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. She tells it like it is, but I really wish someone would have told me it was normal to leak all kids of things when I was pregnant. First pg I was in the Coast Guard and our pants were those aweful polyester ones and I had no a/c in my office during the summer in southern CA.

As far as birth, I wish someone would have said something about the pooping as I read the Girlfriends Guide to pregnancy after I gave birth to my first. With #2, I didn't care, I knew it would happen so I was okay. I wish someone would have told me not to bother with the epidural with my first dd. I would have had such a better birth without it. I wish that the southern CA hospital would have had a better LC. They didn't even have an official one in Ketch, AK, but the nurses were well versed and helped me out.

Good Luck..I'm excited for you all and I hope to add one more to our family in 3 years when I finish college.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heket*
I just wanted to double another response I saw somewhere about dh not being the doting new father. I should've known better, as he's not terribly expressive. But I truly thought he'd be more sympathetic and understanding of the wonders and changes. Instead, he was pretty indifferent about the whole event -- until she was born.








.

I also have come to accept it as a fact of my life that DH sucks as a "pregnant husband" :LOL On the other hand, he has always been a FABULOUS dad from the second the baby is born - he is the best.


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## Einhorn (Jul 6, 2002)

Here's one I haven't seen (it's supposed to be rare I guess)-- that PP you can heal with your labia/vagina "stuck together" (enough that they can't do a pap smear) and have to go in for surgery at 10 weeks PP to have a one inch section cut back apart and stitched to the sides. I had to fight with the OB doing it to just use local and not put me under -- both because I was nursing and because I know I didn't want to deal with the after affects of being out. Fortunately the anesthesiologist was on my side if I was okay with just a local (and talked with me through the whole thing to keep my mind off of it!), but we did it in the OR just in case, which was good since it was longer than the OB thought and she needed the lights, etc.

It's on my list of things to talk to the midwives about this round -- how to keep it from happening again!


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polihaupt*
I also have come to accept it as a fact of my life that DH sucks as a "pregnant husband" :LOL On the other hand, he has always been a FABULOUS dad from the second the baby is born - he is the best.

I'll ditto that!!

Things I wish I had known:

Totally wish I was better prepared for the afterpains - especially while BF'ing. OUCH.

That the urge to push can start out feeling like the urge to have a bowel movement and to go with it!

That you can tell that annoying nurse to SHUT UP and it's OK.

That not all hospitals are bad - it really is possible to have a beautiful and natural birth in one.

That you are less likely to puke during labor if you use your focal point during contractions - like religiously

That blood clots really can be HUGE and you're not dying

That your hair will fall out for a few months after delivery and you won't actually go bald.


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

BTW, I also had the severe shakes on and off for two days. I thought it was drug-related (like from the epidural or something) but I noticed on the second day that I would shake only in the presence of staff. Such as the nurses who came to catheterize me and later carry me to the bathroom, as well as the resident who came in the early morning rounds, and the med-student who was present at the birth and later came to check on me. It has me wondering if those shakes are a little bit of post-traumatic stress symptoms, triggered by seeing the people related to the "event."


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## rainy32 (Apr 27, 2004)

hello, I'm 38 weeks, 5 days, and I've learned two new things in the last week, that I wish I had known:

1. you can have contractions for days on end that stop and start and even are regular and painful and still stop and you still have to go to work!

2. that the pelvic to check your progress can hurt like h#$%, and you might not find anything out cause the kid's head is so low the nurse can't reach the tip of your uterus without causing you extreme discomfort.

argh.


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## tug (Jun 16, 2003)

oh yeah, rainy, the work thing. ugh. i was at work the day i went into l&d with my water broke and contractions with my first. i went from work to the doctor and straight into the hospital. my boss still jokes about it (i took the bus 'cause i wasn't sure i was in labor and i didn't want to trouble anyone).

this week i worked through some pretty horrid contractions because i had to finish a project that afternoon. blech.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I wish someone told me one labia can swell up and be bigger than the other.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

In some apects I was actually pleasantly surprised. For instance, I'd been told my whole life by my mother, and once by my best friend's mom, that labor hurts so bad you'll swear you're going to die, because no human being can possibly survive something so painful. My mom also told me many times I could never have a baby, even with drugs, because I was too big of a whimp. I think it just gave me more motivation! Haha! And here I go to do it all over again!

I really didn't expect post-partum to be so hard. I remember thinking that birth, as hard as it was, was so much easier than recovering, breastfeeding, and adapting to my new 24/7 job.

I didn't know about puking until just now though! Man you guys, now I'm terrified! I didn't really care about pooping since I was in the water and my doula kept a poop scoop with her lol. Although, just for the record, I didn't poop.

Also, I thought I'd fall instantly in love with the baby right away. I didn't, it took about 2 days. I think it just took some adjusting to going from having a baby inside, to outside.

One thing I wasn't prepared for was how incredibly painful it is to pee afterward! The perry bottle wasn't enough. For an entire month EVERY time I had to pee I had to get in to a sitz bath, and even then it took all I had to not scream. I really hope it won't be as bad this time... I won't even mention the pain involved with bowel movements...


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

Oh, I'm so glad to see this thread revived.








Nobody warned me how unbelievably sexy it was to watch my dh stare into that little face and sing so softly to her.
I had a c-section after 10 days in hospital that rounded out the pregnancy from hell. My spinal didn't take. I felt everything. They kept telling me to take the general anaesthetic and originally I told them as soon as I'd seen her and knew she was ok that they could put me out. But once I saw her, I couldn't stand the thought of even closing my eyes for a second. I told them I was fine. Later I found out that my OB thought at least some of the spinal had finally taken. Then at the end of everything they asked me to help them sort of shimmy myself over to the stretcher--well, I lifted both legs, sat up and shoved myself off the surgery table. My OB told me the next day that she had no idea that obviously NONE of the spinal had worked and said "I don't know how you did it" I just told her once I saw that little face, I felt no more pain.


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shannon0218*
My OB told me the next day that she had no idea that obviously NONE of the spinal had worked and said "I don't know how you did it" I just told her once I saw that little face, I felt no more pain.

WOW!! :







:







:


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## leavemealone (Feb 16, 2005)

I would have loved to have known that is is possible to wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat when the AC is set to 60 and your DH is freezing in July. I woke up crying because I thought I had peed the bed. My shirt was soaked, my side of the sheets were soaked, and all I could say was "Sweetie, I'm sorry but I peed the bed". He came over, felt the bed (and smelled it!) and reassured me that I did not pee the bed.

I would have also like to have known that following birth, when I tried to lay on my side, I'd feel my body sloshing around inside of me.


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## Kam (Jun 29, 2002)

Wow, I wish I'd read this thread before my first was born! How enlightening and how true!!

I was shocked by the huge, lonely belly afterward, and the fact that I lost a total of 1 pound in giving birth to a 7.5lb baby.

The night sweats and leaking were also something I was ill-prepared for, and the hospital only changed sheets once a week! The mama who recommended preparing lots of bedding and towels was right. I would add that having many changes of loungewear might be helpful as well.

I had an episiotomy, and didn't ask for pain relief because none was offered. It was excruciating to sit, but I had to sit in order to breastfeed. Next time, I'll ask!!

And best of all, I remember that feeling of looking at people walking outside my window, and marveling at the miracles we all are. I still can get tears thinking about that revelation, and try to remind myself of it when I can. It's that buddhanature-in-everyone thang, I guess.









warmly,
Kam, mamamama! to Meg and one more due in March


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

WOW Shannon, that is seriously one of the most incredible stories I've ever heard! I admire you. And have to agree with what you said about dh. We had a homebirth and after we all got out of the birth tub, cleaned up, and onto the bed I remember looking over at him in his jammies, holding our brand new daughter and thinking "Oh my gosh, what's wrong with me!!?? I just gave birth and I'm thinking about sex!!" And that was odd anyway cuz we had a really sucky marriage (this is my ex I'm talking about).

Also, yeah for sure about the gut thing. My doula had told me everything would just sort of be suspended in there... but there are many things I was "told" about that I could never have been prepared for. I wrapped my abdomen tight in cheese cloth (which was recommended by my doula) and that helped SO much... so if you're expecting, trust me, WRAP YOURSELF UP after birth. I did it for several weeks. I couldn't stand how it felt to even take it off long enought to re-wrap it (it got loose several times a day). eww


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## aweynsayl (Sep 27, 2003)

I just have to send huge hugs to everyone, and thank you all so much for sharing this!!!


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## pique (Jun 12, 2005)

I love this! You girls all rock! I have a few to share from my previous 2 babies:

1. Just because you didn't get morning sickness with #1, doesn't mean you won't get it with #2. (but you may get lucky again and not have it with #3)

2. Sciatic pain hurts. A lot.

3. Nobody told me I'd be able to see the baby move in the later stages of pregnancy. Holy! That was a shocker!

4. Pregnant bellies & boobs get itchy. Really, really, itchy.

5. A really fast labor is not necessarily a great way to do it.

6. Epidurals don't always work.

7. Epidurals (when they work) can have side effects like numbness, the shakes and feeling like you are freezing.

8. They don'y always feed you in the hospital. (After birthing #2, I was given the teeniest sandwich at 2 am. At 8 am I asked for breakfast, at 8:30 I asked again., at 9:30 I asked again (DIDN'T GET IT) so I checked myself out AMA.

9. You don't necessarily love your child(ren) instantly. And that's OK.

10. Not all milk ducts are in your nipple! I had a leaker from the side of my breast with #2.

11. Milk can and does shoot across the room during let down.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

I would add to pique's #11 that milk can also shoot during orgasm. Don't be shocked when you find both of your chests wet.

A good way to deal with the sciatic nerve pain (which I've had since I was 11), other than seeing a Chiropractor which is a necessity, esp during pregnancy... but if you can lay on your stomach (or some variation of it) and have some one put the palm of their hand on the center of the pain, press down, and just jiggle the monkies out of it... it loosens up those muscles in there and feels soooo good... but sometimes tickles out of control too


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pique*

10. Not all milk ducts are in your nipple! I had a leaker from the side of my breast with #2.










That's a new one for me! And I thought I'd heard it all! I'll keep an eye out.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

It's also important to keep in mind, if this is your second, that bfing can be VERY tough in the begining, and every baby is different. Just because you mastered it with #1 doesn't mean you'll be a natural right away this time. And this is okay.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Just wanted to add this too... because I seriously thought something was wrong with me... for some women let down HURTS. It was always painful for me, esp in the begining when I had no clue what it was. I'd get the shrieking pain from all the way under my arms shooting down to my nipples, and within a minute the baby would start crying. I was baffled.


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

Quote:

It's also important to keep in mind, if this is your second, that bfing can be VERY tough in the begining, and every baby is different. Just because you mastered it with #1 doesn't mean you'll be a natural right away this time. And this is okay.
Just want to add that the opposite is true as well. If you had trouble the first time you may NOT have trouble breastfeeding the second child.


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## BetsyPage (Mar 5, 2004)

Great thread!

I think someone (BobbyJuice) commented a year ago







about those stupid hippy books that talk about falling asleep during contractions/pushes... well, I wish someone had mentioned that to me- I did fall asleep between pushes! I fought it at first, but then decided with 4 doctors attending (my doc & 3 med students), several nurses, and my dh there they'd wake me up if necessary.

How HORRIBLY uncomfortable hospital beds are.







: I couldn't get discharged fast enough.

That the frozen diapers in the room's fridge were for *me* to wear!









The huge clots PP were definitely freaky...

That it would be impossible for me to sleep 3-4 days PP because of getting mastitis, engorgement and needing to pump 2 every 2 hours while trying to convice my dd to latch onto the ROCKS that were my breasts... and that I would be maniacally alert the whole time!

That your doctors can decide at 42 weeks that it's just not gonna happen for you and guilt trip you with scary numbers and "it's not advisable" statements to be induced... like I would have just never gone into labor? *sigh*

That it is so hard to stop thinking about your birth... for some reason now I find myself "reliving" various aspects of my dd's birth every night before sleep (probably b/c I'm 18 weeks now?)


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## sciencemama (Nov 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grace's voice*
Just wanted to add this too... because I seriously thought something was wrong with me... for some women let down HURTS. It was always painful for me, esp in the begining when I had no clue what it was. I'd get the shrieking pain from all the way under my arms shooting down to my nipples, and within a minute the baby would start crying. I was baffled.

YES! i had this- what can only be described as "shooting" pain starting around the back near the shoulder blade, and wrapping around the breast, down the arm to the fingertips. Everything i read (and the class at the hospital) said- You might feel "uncomfortable" during let down for the first few days". This pain brought tears to my eyes and stuck around for the first 3-4 weeks-- then it slowly subsided over the course of another week. It was really hard to face each feeding and I would not have been able to get through it without dh's help. (he had no idea what was going on but was very supportive about me continuing to breastfeed)

Oh how it all comes back...

That the days leading up to labor can be more uncomfortable than the birth itself. Athough everyone swore the baby was not posterior I had major back pain and just crawled between the bed and the bathtub for 3 days. I even vomited just from the pain- and I hadn't had any trouble with nausea up til that point! Then I had 24 hrs of feeling GREAT before the serious contractions began.

That you can be constipated before heading into labor and have the opposite problem afterwards







: (everyone else seems to have the opposite experience)

That smooshy stomach after giving birth.... many women have their abdominals separate at some point during pregnancy and most of the time you won't even notice when it happens. You can have a "valley" there for a LONG time after (months, years), even if you are religious about doing stomach crunches.

That after giving birth you'll feel like you can do just about ANYTHING. (It inspired me to achieve my long-term goal of running a marathon. I had been running for over a decade but never had the confidence to try for it. When dd was 18 months I finally did my first one and loved it!)


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## Crunchier (Jun 26, 2003)

oh, oh! My turn!

That almost from the moment of conception pregnancy is physically overwhelming, and completely not under your control.

That to dh the pregnancy would not be "real" at any point before labor.

That your pelvis is actually _3 separate pieces_.

That immediately after birth, I would loose half my blood volume and no one would be scared but me.


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## Crunchier (Jun 26, 2003)

Oh, wait I have more.

That during labor I really needed to hear someone tell me what I knew I should be doing (and didn't do, because no one told me to).

That circumcision can result in life threatening bleeding and that only about 1/2 of boys are circed. No one would have made fun of him.

That I'd think he was beautiful from the moment he was born, and not funny looking at all.

that it would take me 3 months to figure out that he was really staying.


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## beachcomber (May 11, 2005)

Things I wish people had told me about beforehand:

1. HEARTBURN
2. forgetfulness
3. constantly being a bit emotional
4. S-I joint pain
5. gagging whenever I brush my teeth

I had no idea about SO MUCH stuff in pregnancy. It's like this other alternate universe you fall into and suddenly people are telling you things and you're reading things and you had no idea about any of it before.


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

Grabbing onto the handles while pushing can make blood vessels under your nails break and for weeks (months?) afterward those little stains would be growing out of your nails.

Feeling like I had an open gaping wound "down there" after vbacing an almost 9 pounder and how icky that made me feel, physically and emotionally.

That while bonding doesn't always happen immediately, when it finally does "cement" it can be overwhelming. I called my mom 6 weeks pp with my first sobbing because I had suddenly realized that this was also how much she loved ME.

More pain pills after c-sections. Don't just suffer because your prescription runs out. Pain can inhibit your recovery. I'm asking for 4 weeks worth this time.


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## BohoMama (Jun 26, 2003)

OK, here goes:

1) That one can go into labor without actually noticing it. Andrej was to be born by scheduled c-section and I had spent several nights in the hospital before his big day. That fateful morning, the nurses roused me as usual at 5 am and put me on the monitor. One of them exclaimed "Ma'am, don't you realize that you're in labor?!? Your contractions are strong and coming regularly every few minutes" and I said "No, I didn't notice it, I'm still asleep." An internal exam revealed that I was 4-5 cm open. After that revelation, getting ready for the operation made me so nervous that I hardly noticed anything going on with my body, it just seemed like the same old Braxton-Hicks stuff.

2) That getting up maybe 3x during night to nurse and change a newborn is actually a lot easier than getting up every 30 minutes to pee, so rather than feeling sleep-deprived, I felt like I was finally getting back to normal.

3) The erotic aspect of nursing. Yes, I had read about this, but it was so much DIFFERENT than any other kind of erotic sensations I've had and nobody described it much. When the sensations came, I didn't want to jump on my man, grab myself, or, god forbid, do something unholy to the baby. It was just a very physical, spiritual, sunny kind of connected bliss.

********************
Skin tags - other mamas mentioned them. I remove them with nail scissors/clippers. I don't know if this is "recommended," but it is effective and they don't grow back in the same spot.


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## BohoMama (Jun 26, 2003)

oh - two more:

1) That 2 days after a C-section you may weigh more than when you entered the hospital! How is this possible? All the crap they give you through IVs weighs more than what they take out of you. I was in shock and disbelief when I checked the scale, but the nurses just laughed and explained it all.

2) That milk can take a really really long time to come in. Andrej was born on a Monday morning and I didn't have milk for the poor little guy until Thursday afternoon.


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## mlec (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CJ 5*
To use kyosil and lots of water at the first sign of constipation because hemroids SUCK!!!!

What is kyosil? I googled it and didn't find anything in English.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CJ 5*
all that crap at babies R us is a waste of money. Ask AP moms for the essentials and beg your friends to give you gift certificates or exchange exchange exchange after your shower.

TRUE TRUE TRUE! Not to hijack...but anyone have an idea what to suggest to my non-crunchy-but-open-to-my-crunchy-influence sis who wants me to help her register at BabiesRUS?


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IdentityCrisisMama*
Piglet, I love the name Sasha!
















That's my name, too!

For me, the stretching pains early in pregnancy scared the cr*p out of me, and the pooping during pushing. I'd heard about it, but just thought it was rare.


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

My advice is this:

What might have happened for someone else might not be true for you. What might be true for you might not be true for someone else. Every pregnancy/birth/post partum period is different.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

What are "skin tags"? Are those those icky things I call "hangy moles"?

Not to be gross, but when I was pg with #1 I got these painful swollen red... hangy moles... on my bikini area. They would come and go randomly. The ones I had at birth just sort of deflated and are now hardly noticeable. My midwife said she'd never seen anything like it before. Are these what keep being mentioned here?

Also wanted to say, I knew nothing about the early uterine streaching sensations till this time around, and I'm so thankful to read about it here, otherwise I'd be freaking out thinking something was wrong!


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## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

Some of the ones I thought of have already been mentioned but I'll put down everything I can think of anyways!









1. The feelings of love are not right away all the time. I was devastated that even after I brought DD home I was never overwhelmed with love for her. In fact most of the time I just stared at her like, "Oh ok so you're here now".







Definitely doesn't last though!









2. Not everyone has bowel issues (constipation etc.)! I had heard that you get constipated or you get diarreha (in labour) and was so terrified that it was going to happen to me! (I have an intense disgust of bowel movements so this was especially hard on me).

3. Babies do not always want to eat right away. In fact they may not want to eat all day especially if you had pain killer. DD didn't nurse until the day after she was born and because of that they threatened to give her formula but didn't go the extra mile and help me to get her to eat.

4. Umbilical cord care. I'm still unsure of it. I heard to swipe around it with rubbing alcohol to dry it out so it falls off but I've also heard not to do that cause it will dry it out and possibly crack the skin around it. *SIGH* DD's still hadn't fallen off about three weeks later so I broke down and swiped it with rubbing alcohol. It fell off within a week.

5. I.V. fluids are cold. Cold enough you can feel their temp. as they go in. Totally normal!
5a. If you are planning a homebirth and decide to go in for pain killer weight is a good thing to be sure of. DO NOT guesstimate on it. If you must do so be safe and guess under. MEdicine delivered according to weight limits are that way for a reason. I was given to much and passed out during the pushing and for the following three hours. I was not coherent until late the next day. We guess too high a number.

ETA: This was a big one for us.
Due to an increase in blood but not neccessarily the best blood circulation things will likely swell and then get stuck!







Possibly TMI but I had one lip of my girly goods swell (it looked like a large kidney bean







) and only that one. I freaked out when it happened. I thought something was wrong with me. Turns out I had a part of my back out (due to being pregnant) so it allowed for an inlet to that area but not neccessarily an outlet.







Very frightening!


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## BohoMama (Jun 26, 2003)

MLEC:

Does ebay do gift certificates? There is a lot of great AP-friendly stuff there. (Though of course sis should not buy a used car seat!) Or you could suggest that your sister ask for donations through PayPal and then she can use that for ebay purchases. Or, what about Amazon gift certificates? Since an AP mom doesn't need that much stuff, she can use her friends' generosity to feed her child's mind as it grows.

Arguing with mainstreamers that all the "crap" isn't necessary is a waste of time, they think that you will eventually break down and buy it anyway and they will get to gloat. Therefore, it's better to let them think you're already loaded up. Your sister can tell her non-crunchy friends "Thanks, but we really have everything we need except for XXXXX, which is available on ebay" or "we already have everything else, but I know I'm going to be reading to this child a lot so the Amazon certificates would come in handy."


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

Wow, mamas, I just have to say as a first time mama-to-be this thread is FREAKING ME OUT!







:







:







:












































I knew the birth process was messy and hard, but this! Softball-sized blood clots! Mucus plugs splattering like cherry pie! Breastmilk squirting around the room, left, right, center! FEELING YOUR UTERUS SLIDING OUT OF YOUR BODY WHEN YOU PEE!! The horror that is post-partum pooping! Fluids oozing out of every conceivable orifice (not to mention out of the baby's orifices, too!)

I think what's really upsetting me is how out of control and just plain messy the whole thing is going to be. The sheer physical humiliation of it all. (Man, I'm tearing up again!).

I just... I don't know what to say. Is it too late to turn back? Do I really have to go through with all that? Anyone? Help?


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## absolutely (Sep 13, 2005)

bruised nipples. i anticipated nursing issues, and luckily had none, but two days after my daughter was born my nipples were purple. would have been nice to have known yr nipples don't just crack or get dry or bleed, but BRUISE too.

and that new babies brathe fast and shallow. and sneeze. i was not expecting a sneezing newborn.


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

Marylizah,
whoa there mama, take a deep breath (or two).









Quote:

I think what's really upsetting me is how out of control and just plain messy the whole thing is going to be. The sheer physical humiliation of it all.

I have to tell you that this was not my experience at all. Birth wasn't "out of control" it was just going to happen no matter what. I felt like it was *controlled* but maybe not by me at a certain point. I felt like my body was in control... and very confident about it too... but not my BRAIN anymore. That was a very empowering experience, not humiliating. It was awesome!
Your body is strong and so amazingly smart when it comes to giving birth. Its your mind that is weak and afraid. At a point your mind just kinda switches off, stops fighting and goes with it and then its really... awesome. (I'm using that word alot here).

I admit, that after birth... that's kinda messy. I'm not crazy about the recovery period.

Now, back to the topic at hand.
I wish someone would've been able to tell me how much I was going to love my dd. Convince me that I would be willing, eager, desperate actually, to change me whole life to be with her. That I would NOT want to go back to work, the job that I LOVED because I would not want to let anyone else take care of her. That the moment she was born I would be a completely new person as well. That the world would be different forever to me.

Good luck all you mamas getting ready.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Marylizah







it'll be okay! 2 things I try to keep in mind.
1) Pregnancy/birth/recovery are really such a short time in your life. Especially birth. When you go out of your "thinking mind" and turn to instinct you lose track of all time. When Juels was born and I found out it had been 3 hours since my water broke I couldn't believe it. It would have been easier to belive someone had changed the clock to mess with me. I really thought there was no way it could have been more than an hour. All of it comes and goes SO FAST, even a long labor is a small price to pay for the reward.
2) It's all about attitude. The women who birth naturally and look back on the experience with fondness are most often the women who just believed they could do it in the first place. Now, I didn't really feel like this till my last month. You'll be surprized how much you change, not only physically, but also spiritually and emotionally as this pregnancy progresses. Remember: You can do anything if you can just believe you can. You were CREATED to do this!
Also, for me, from the time I found out I was pg, till several months after the birth, I lost all sense of modesty. I didn't care who saw what, esp the widwives and my doula. It did come back though! I never felt/feel humiliated or anything like that, and it wasn't long before my attitude about covering up went back to normal.

I wasn't prepared for how my attitude toward my pets would change. Is that wierd? I had 2 cats at the time, have always had cats, had always loved them like my children... but once I gave birth it just changed. They instantly went to the back burner. Not that I didn't take care of them, or still "like" them, but so much of the love I had for them disappeared... they sort of became little nuisances


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

Thanks for the reassurance, mamas. Just to be a little more precise (and a little less hysterical!) it's not the giving birth part that is freaking me out. I feel (relatively) comfortable about that and all the gore it entails.

What I'm finding so shocking is what happens AFTERWARDS. I assumed you bled a bit, and sure, dealing with breastmilk might be a little complicated at first but that would be about it.

Of course it's natural and women have done it for millenia and





















, but that doesn't make me feel any better about the fact that not only will I be dealing with a newborn but also the gross, horrible nasty mess from my own body. Just seems like a lot to take, kwim?

Anyway, I don't want to hijack the thread-- even though it's majorly freaking me out I'm taking lots of notes. (Where's the wan smile face?)


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

grace's voice:
OMG!!!








You hit the nail on the head with the pets.
I would not have believed it if it hadn't happened to me!!
I have a dog and a cat. I loved them both immensely. I used to annoy my co-workers by talking about them/bringing them to work.

I can barely stand the sight of them now after babies. It's HORRIBLE. I would feel worse about it but I just don't have the time.








The cat still tries to sit on my lap in the evening when the kiddos are alseep... I cannot tolerate it. After a whole day of being totally physical with children I can't take it enough to let the poor cat on my lap.

My dh is in charge of pets now. I pretend they aren't around except when I'm totally annoyed with the fur everywhere.







:


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

artgirl said:


> :
> 
> The cat still tries to sit on my lap in the evening when the kiddos are alseep... I cannot tolerate it. After a whole day of being totally physical with children I can't take it enough to let the poor cat on my lap.
> 
> ...


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## pfamilygal (Feb 28, 2005)

The Hitler mustache I have had during my last two pg's. And it's not hair. My actual skin is darker (melasma/chloasma) on my upper lip, so I can't bleach it. Oy!

Oh, and my seeming inability to wipe thoroughly. It doesn't matter how hard I try, it still seems to trickle down my leg when I stand. What is up with that? I'm going to have to dye all my socks yellow.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pfamilygal*
Oh, and my seeming inability to wipe thoroughly. It doesn't matter how hard I try, it still seems to trickle down my leg when I stand. What is up with that? I'm going to have to dye all my socks yellow.










Oh crap! I totally forgot about that!


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## mlec (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marylizah*
I think what's really upsetting me is how out of control and just plain messy the whole thing is going to be. The sheer physical humiliation of it all.

I know this will be hard to believe, but I've been reading this thread laughing and with fond memories! Birth and its aftermath does feel a bit ridiculous, but even the stuff that really sounds disgusting in this thread is not really gross when you experience it. My postpartum period was no picnic, but I was never icked out by my own body.


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## BetsyPage (Mar 5, 2004)

I really struggle with negative feelings towards my cats too... It's awful...







I have to *make* myself pet them and be affectionate to them, I find they are calmer and I'm less antagonistic. But I have an on-going problem with one of my cats yowling loudly at annoying times (reading to dd, putting her to bed.)


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BetsyPage*
I really struggle with negative feelings towards my cats too... It's awful...







I have to *make* myself pet them and be affectionate to them, I find they are calmer and I'm less antagonistic. But I have an on-going problem with one of my cats yowling loudly at annoying times (reading to dd, putting her to bed.)









Too funny! My cats were my babies before my real babies were born...then just as fast as I fell in love with my babies I fell out of love with my cats! (Both of whom were real PITAs I might add....)


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I love this thread!

The one thing that I remember is the boob hickeys I got when my son would latch on in the wrong place and I'd fall back asleep. I'd wake up with this huge purple things in the most random places. DH even got a hickey on his neck once from DS sucking in his sleep laying on DH's shoulder! LOL!

The one thing I wish I knew before my C/S was to ask that my catheter be put in AFTER the spinal took. That hurt! I also wish I had known that the morphene they give you makes you nauseated and the anti-nausea meds don't always work! I puked the whole rest of the day. Not fun!


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## nmm2112 (Sep 6, 2003)

Great Thread!

Yep, I used to LOVE animals - after the babies, I still like them but am nowhere near as crazy about the hairy little critters!









Also, I had epidurals (and pitocin) for both my babies and the urinary catheter drove me crazy with #1 so with #2 I just asked my nurse and Dr. if I could have an "in and out"/straight catheter - they just drain the bladder and remove the catheter so it doesn't continue to bother you! much better!


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## juicypakwan (Jun 19, 2002)

Just subscribing. I have been laughing all afternoon what a great thread. Brings back lots of memories!


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## NameThatMama (Oct 26, 2004)

Wow... I consider myself pretty well versed for someone who's still pregnant with her first kid, and some of these were a big surprise!

The big surprise I've experienced so far was that *all* of my body fluids would increase when I got pregnant. I had been warned about sweat, snot, saliva, and cervical fluid, but no one told me that I'd have an increase in earwax, skin oil, or eye boogers. The slightly furry belly was a bit of a surprise, too.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Oh my goodness!

I was wondering why I suddenly have uncontrolable earwax... and the other day in the tub I actually broke down and shaved the middle of my tummy







:


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

As a childless woman who has to wait a few years to TTC, I'd just like to say that this thread is one of the better killers of babyfever I've found yet.









No offense...


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Oh, I'm glad someone ELSE's child gave her a hickey! When my dd gave me one, I felt like an honorary lesbian. Sorta.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
I love this thread!

The one thing that I remember is the boob hickeys I got when my son would latch on in the wrong place and I'd fall back asleep. I'd wake up with this huge purple things in the most random places. DH even got a hickey on his neck once from DS sucking in his sleep laying on DH's shoulder! LOL!

The one thing I wish I knew before my C/S was to ask that my catheter be put in AFTER the spinal took. That hurt! I also wish I had known that the morphene they give you makes you nauseated and the anti-nausea meds don't always work! I puked the whole rest of the day. Not fun!


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

I don't know how you could sleep through getting hickeyed! Our first night I was super sleepy and laying down in bed with dd, about 3am. I went to latch her on and (she must have been REALLY hungry!) she latched on before I was ready, right BESIDE my nipple! I screamed. That was sooooo painful, and even though it was just for a second, it did leave a very dark hickey for several days.


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## radish (Sep 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nmm2112*
Great Thread!

Yep, I used to LOVE animals - after the babies, I still like them but am nowhere near as crazy about the hairy little critters!









LOL, I remember asking DH, "What if we dont love the baby as much as we love the cats (3 of them!)???!!"

LMAO!


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## Sweeney (Sep 8, 2003)

Oh gosh is this a fun thread!

I'll add:

-If you go overdue, not only will you have just two pieces of clothing that still somehow fit over your huge pregnancy belly, breasts, booty(and they won't match each other), but you will be unable to wipe your own rear end.

-That for some people (me included) there is no 'urge to bear down' or 'urge to push' that is described in all the books that makes it sound on the same level as the 'urge to go to the bathroom' or 'urge to eat chocolate ice cream'. But instead should be written as 'the PUSH OR DIE- total body takeover'. Basically when all of the intelligent woman you once were is shoved into about two neurons to get out of the way of your rampaging body. Think really bad barfing flu- only with everything trying to go down and out as opposed to up.

-That puking in labor is actually quite common. Somehow no pregnancy book I read seemed to mention that. It was unexpected but actually somewhat useful since it made it really easy to figure what stage of labor I was in.

-That laboring in water is a heaven sent idea.

-That after a natural birth, climbing Mt. Everest will seem like no big deal.

-That I'd have gladly gone through labor and delivery again to avoid the breastfeeding problems we had.

-That no breastfeeding book seems to mention things like 'overactive letdown, foremilk/hindmilk inbalance, and slightly flat nipples' in enough detail.

-That not all midwives or La Leche Groups are created equal.

And that your own birth experience will be completely unlike mine


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## polka123 (Nov 27, 2003)

I thinks that's really sad for your pets that some Mamas gets irritated & bugged by the pets that love them unconditionally.









I love my pets no matter what & loved them even more after I gave birth. I had 5 German Shepherds & five cats that knew there was a new baby (DS) in the home.
The dogs were always lying right by the pack-n-play bassinet thing - guarding & sniffing to make sure babe was OK..
when I had trouble getting up after my C - the dogs would let me hold their collar & they would help me get up.
My 5 cats would come keep my feet warm when I was nursing DS. They actually kept quiet when DS slept - almost on DS's sleeping wacky sleeping habits.
They were totally kind & accomadating housemates.
I could go & on but we loved them even more for the amazing things they did before & after DS was born.

With DD, my German Shep knew I was going into labor b/f I did!
He would not leave my side & kept lying his head on my belly. 6 hrs later, I started labor. My 2 cats were the same.

other stuff, I think the pain on some parts of of your body in late PG was a shock.
I got skin tags with DS - bleck
my legs got more hairy with DS.

DD was a vag birth & was amazed at the pain @ the end part of labor. that was crazy.

DS was an emergency C & the lack of bodily function control was nasty (on day 2 after birth)

the extra pooping was a trip/
I peed my pants so much with DS towards the end -








I was huge with him & I also has horrible ligament streching pain with him


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## NewMomNicole (Nov 10, 2005)

Quote:

I love my pets no matter what & loved them even more after I gave birth.
I'm really glad to read this. The most surprising thing so far has been all the stuff about pets - we love our little guy. I realize priorities change but he's been such a good companion to me. We adopted him in a time when we'd just moved and had no local friends or family. He's been my buddy when my husband's been away. We've spent a lot of time together and it made me very sad to think that our sweet friendship would dry up after baby comes.

I'm due with our first in Feb and I was just so so upset to think his special place in our family might be coming to an end. He's just such a great little guy! I know he's just some dog to other people but he's family to us.


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## nepenthesea (Apr 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NewMomNicole*
I'm really glad to read this. The most surprising thing so far has been all the stuff about pets - we love our little guy. I realize priorities change but he's been such a good companion to me. We adopted him in a time when we'd just moved and had no local friends or family. He's been my buddy when my husband's been away. We've spent a lot of time together and it made me very sad to think that our sweet friendship would dry up after baby comes.

I'm due with our first in Feb and I was just so so upset to think his special place in our family might be coming to an end. He's just such a great little guy! I know he's just some dog to other people but he's family to us.

This is bothering me, too. In fact, I cried when I read about it. I can't stand thinking that I won't care about my little pet family anymore when the baby comes. I had never even heard of this happening until I saw this thread.


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## Carley (Aug 16, 2005)

^Totally. We picked up our beautiful dobergirl from the pound. A family surrendered her because after breeding her for 4 years she became "too much" after they had their own baby. She had JUST had a litter of her own when they left her, her tits and vulva were so swollen! It makes me so sad.

I can't imagine ever being in that place, but reading some of the experiences here I can only express thanks to that family for having the courage to give her up (although a NO KILL shelter or rescue group would have been more thoughtful) so that we could give her the home she deserves.

She is a constant help to me during my pregnancy. I know she will be a wonderful helper when the baby comes. I can't imagine ever resenting her or the cats who provide endless humor and entertainment to our house.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Now, now ya'll! I didn't say I stopped LOVING my kitties! But the relationship did change... so did one of my cats. It was irritating that she decided the whole house was a litter box about 4 months before dd came, and when I had an infant to care for I really didn't have much patience for that (esp finding pee on new baby stuff). Also, she went into heat A LOT... like about ever 2 weeks, and would roll around chirping loudly non-stop (she was a maincoon and VERY vocal). With an infant who would wake up if a gentle breeze blew through the room, this was rough. Shortly after our youngest kitty, Trinity (Trinny Cat







) somehow got on the balcony, went onto the roof of our building and we couldn't find her. We never saw her again. Several months later we had to move in with my ex's parents and couldn't bring Saqqara with us, so we gave her to a friend (and she ran away from thier house). It was really hard to lose them, and I cried for quite sometime. I've cared for upward of 40 cats in my life, and loved every one of them... but after baby, the relationship did changes. I had far less tolerance.

A couple more things that came to mind. I wish I would have known:

1) That not everyone has light or an absence of menses while bfing. I got my cycle back at 8 weeks post pardum and continued to have heavier periods than I ever thought possible up until the pregnancy. I never dreamed I'd have to used tampons and pads at the SAME TIME, and need to change both every 2-4 hours!

2) That my girl parts would change. Not just internally, but externally as well. I was so embarrased when I came out of it looking like my happy place had sprouted a tongue when I stood naked. One side of my labia is now about 6x larger than the other. After several years of thinking I was a freak, my sister told me she's that way too... and she doesn't even have kids. I feel better now









3) That it hurts to deliver the placenta. Labor is not over when the baby comes out.

4) That bfing can hurt tremendously, even if you're doing everything right... but getting the baby a chiropractic adjustment can save your nipples. It can also cure colic.

5) You don't HAVE to be nice as ppl repeatedly pressure you to vax/bottle feed/put your baby in a crib/etc. it's okay to lay down the law.


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## lara1828 (Aug 11, 2005)

How _hungry_ I would be after the deed was over. Next time I'm planning to have all my favorite foods at the ready


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## BohoMama (Jun 26, 2003)

I've been reading all the pet stuff with interest - I've experienced the same feelings, and have to admit that my relationship with the dog really hasn't ever gotten back to where it was. He started doing some really ugly things after Andrej was born that he had never done before, and hasn't stopped doing them. Namely, attacking small defenseless dogs and cats. Often in a sneaky way, and often after having already played with them or shared a meal with them. It doesn't matter if he is tied up or if they are, or if we are watching - he is simply treacherous, and he goes right for the throat. We discussed this with a number of knowledgeable people and they all agreed that he was taking out his jealous aggression on these little animals because he didn't dare to chomp on Andrej







: And that we shouldn't worry, because obviously he knows to toe the human/animal line. Still, the thought that he would even subconsciously want to attack our baby freaked me out and it has taken all of my trust and courage to hold onto him and not just send him away somewhere. Now, more than 3 years later, the 2 of them are good friends and I have no worries that he would ever go after Andrej, despite A's occasional provocations.

So, that said, I"m wondering if any mamas out there will admit that they have had feelings of, let's say, dimished compassion or interest in an older child after the birth of a baby, especially if the older child has been acting out negative feelings towards the newcomer.

Maybe you'll think I'm horrible to even be asking this, and maybe it never happens, but I've been a little worried and none of the pet mamas have said much about getting over the feelings, they have only said that they have been able to make themselves pat the grateful or lonely animals when they really aren't in the mood to.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BohoMama*
Maybe you'll think I'm horrible to even be asking this, and maybe it never happens, but I've been a little worried and none of the pet mamas have said much about getting over the feelings, they have only said that they have been able to make themselves pat the grateful or lonely animals when they really aren't in the mood to.


With my 2nd on the way, I've been wondering the same thing. I also worry I won't have the same bond with the second baby, due to lack of 1 on 1 time. It's always been me and Juels, inseparable.


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

I have 4 kids, ranging from 2 to 14 and am pregnant with my 5th.

The feelings you have for a newborn are so overwhelmingly protective, that for a time, everyone else takes a back seat. As far as dimininshed feelings? No, I don't think so. I do have "favorites" that change all the time, mostly depending on behavior







. Who's making my life difficult, who's making it easy. But ALL my children have their strengths and weaknesses, and I love them all. I do think I am a bit more harsh on my first born though, and also a little more easy on him. If that makes any sense







. He is, and always will be, the one who taught me what truly unconditional love meant. I don't love him more, but I do love him a little bit different. But then, I love all my children differently in a way. They are all such unique and interesting people!


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## Mariposa (Nov 12, 2002)

haven't read them all, but i would have to say that i would feel contractions in my rectum!! oh my gosh, was that weird.


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## ma_Donna (Jan 11, 2003)

Ok, first off ALL the bad stuff isn't going to happen! In my case, a lot of it did NOT.

Even though I pushed for 3.5 hours, I had one tiny hemorroid, but it didn't really hurt. But, I was sore from the base of my skull to my toes (muscles).

I was afraid of the first pp poop, but it was fine.

I only leaked milk a couple times a little bit in the first couple months and IMO my milk supply was 'just right'. But yes, it did hurt for a week or two.

I felt like a million bucks when DS was 3 days old, day 4 I felt like I got hit by a truck (tired).

Newborn clothes don't fit an average newborn. Noah was 7#13oz and he wore a t-shirt diaper & blanket for 2 weeks because everything was too big... but he grew out of it all by 7 weeks old!

Check out the length of your birth attendants fingers. Mine had short fingers and big knuckles OUCH!

If you are a nursing mom & your baby gets checked back in for jaundice, they feed you, too and scold you if you don't eat the dinner sized for 3!

Peeing in a cup after giving birth is a new experience - be prepared to get wet! (BTW, this wasn't right after birth, but months later)

What I DID know, fortunately:
Tucks pads lined up in the undies (or witch hazel soaked cotton make up pads) feels niiice

Use lansinoh after EVERY nursing session until your milk comes in.

DS went back into the hospital for jaundice at 3 days old. I propped myself up on chairs & pillows to nurse him under the billi lights because darn it, we weren't going to stay in that hospital any longer than necessary and the kid needed comfort! My milk came in just after we got to the hospital and that kid nursed at LEAST every 20 minutes, but it was just one night of my life and DH and/ or I was with him every second.


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## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

It's kind of funny. Here I was reading all of this information, and I was thinking "man am I glad I didn't poop when I had my son, How embarrassing!!!" I had my son in September, he was stillborn at 29 weeks, and only 1 pound 1 ounce, and I figured he wasn't big enough to push anything out. So 2 days ago, I asked my husband " I didn't poop at all did I", mind you this is 2 months later, and he said "Yeah, you did, but only a little one". I guess that I did. How embarrassing!!!
This from a woman who had to stop during pushing to go pee. I actually made the doctor leave since I didn't want to go pee in front of him, man was he pissed. I feel bad though because my baby was already half way out.

Love,
Mary


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## nikisager (Oct 25, 2005)

When I had my first son at 17, I did not have to push him out, when it came to almost that time, his heartrate dropped dramatically, there was no time for c sec so they literally cut me from one end to the other and pulled him out. Sooooo... when I was in labor with my second son and it came time to push I had no clue what the heck I was doing. I wish someone would of warned me that you can't push like you are pooping and think the baby will come out!!!


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nikisager*
I wish someone would of warned me that you can't push like you are pooping and think the baby will come out!!!


I thought thats how you were supposed to push, everyone says it feels like your taking a giant crap


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Yeah, when I was told I could start pushing my mf put 2 of her fingers on what felt like my anus and said "push here" to me it felt exactly like pooping. I wish someone woulda told me that pushing does NOT come naturally to everyone, and that not every one enjoys it! ... second wind my bum...


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## jerawo (Jan 28, 2003)

How weird and scary it would feel to give DS a name. Neither DH nor I wanted to call DS by the name we picked out, but finally I was the brave one.


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## teacup (Nov 12, 2005)

Ditto lots of other posters here: clots (we named ours), pooping/peeing differently after, pooping/nausea during (nausea signals transition--a good place to be!).

*That my labia would be swollen to what felt like down to my knees.

*That the baby was holding my boobs up during the pregnancy.

*That when my water broke it would feel like the baby was going back up inside me! (They had to break my water; it never broke on its own. She wasn't crowning yet, obviously, but man, she swept up into my ribs when my water broke.)

*That you can break blood vessels in your eyes and face from pushing (incorrectly). It's tough to push "from your chest!" for an hour.

*That in the middle of labor I would have these thoughts in the back of my mind, sort of like my own little MST3K. (Looking in the mirror, I thought, "So I did poop during labor,")

*That I would bleed before the baby emerged.

*That I would need to have an actual bowel movement while in labor (not the pooping because of pushing, but an actual poo while laboring).

*That during labor I might experience a sort of high. I was sleepy during the pushing; I could barely keep my eyes open. My doula said later that it was the endorphins. (Who needs an epi when you've got your own endos!?)

*That after giving birth my vulva might spasm (apparently due to the trauma).

*That after having this person you feel so so so raw. Not just physically, either. Emotionally. The world is too harsh a place. Things are too loud, too fast.

*That things down south would shift a lot after a vaginal birth. Canal angle and everything. I miss my old genitals.

Hmmm. That's all I can think of right now... But I can say it's all worth it!


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## teacup (Nov 12, 2005)

Ah, I forgot one, and I really wish I had known this!

You know how everyone says that if you can make it to transition, you can make it through a natural childbirth? I don't know if this is skewed logic, but I assumed that meant it was all downhill (in terms of pain, save the ring of fire at crowning) from there. I was wrong. I remember feeling angry that my contractions got increasingly painful despite knowing that I was in transition.

And one more: I said this twice during labor. I didn't say it in a dramatic way, or while screaming, or while grabbing my husband by the shirtfront in some sort of silly movie scene. I was contracting and said, so quietly and truthfully, "I think I'm losing my mind." My husband, who...oh, anyway...he said, "Go wherever you need to go. We'll be right here."


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linnea*
Oh! Here's something I didn't know, and my Mom didn't either - my Mom and sister both attended me during the birth and helped hold me while I was pushing. They told me later that the intense hormones they were exposed to caused them both to start their periods that night! I later read somewhere a doula writing that she has experienced that at almost every birth she's attended. We were all pretty amazed at the power of hormones!









As I type, my sister is in labor, and my other sister is with her (how I wish I could be there, too!







: *sniffle!*). Well, my sister who is having the baby had her water break early this morning, and my other sis said that less than an hour later, her period started! She is usually super-regular, and this was several days early--she didn't expect AF to visit until she returned home next week!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sweeney*
If you go overdue, not only will you have just two pieces of clothing that still somehow fit over your huge pregnancy belly, breasts, booty(and they won't match each other), but you will be unable to wipe your own rear end.

There it is! I read through 12 pages, and I'm surprised it didn't come up sooner! The thing about pregnancy that surprised me most--and I mean that I felt just a bit betrayed by all the women before me who never let on about this little tidbit!







Each pregnancy I have reached the point where I can no longer reach around my tummy or twist my arms behind me enough to really wipe my butt effectively!








And for me (I think because I am very short, with almost no torso, LOL!) it happens long before my duedate....I'm about 32 weeks now and am having to be really creative to get the job done. I've discovered that damp cloth wipes and a peri bottle are a must before birth, too!

Funniest thing about this--during my first pregnancy, when I reached this point, I told dh about it....just in a whiny, feel sorry for me sort of way. He looked dumbfounded for a minute and then said, "Well, do you need my help?" He was serious--that's true love!







Then to lighten the mood, he got real creative and offered to wrap a washcloth around the doorknob with a rubber band, then I could stand on a stepstool and he'd turn the knob from the other side of the door!







Never tried it, but the mental image cracks me up! And I'm keeping it in mind just in case all else fails!









Anyway, I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one!









ma_Donna, LOL about nursing under the bililights! I did the same thing for the same reason, and I ended up with a bit of a sunburn on my breasts! Yeow! And it turns out that the jaundice was much more mild than they let on....my ds's ped was not on call that weekend; when he reviewed things later, he told me that had he been there, he most likely would not have admitted us! I sure didn't have the same exp you did with food though--it was all we could do to get them to even bring me a meal, since I was not the patient!







:


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## AngelaB (Nov 20, 2001)

With ds #1 I grew 3/4 of an inch taller in pregnancy. With ds#2 My shoe size went up 1/2 a size!

I have never heard of this before! I was almost 23 when I had #1 and 25 when I had #2 so I should have been done growing. Its probably all the protein I ate









With ds#1 I had a c-section after I got to the hospital 6cm dialated and they discovered he was breech and as they were wheeling me down to OR my husband says "Damn I pooped my pants for nothing! I thought it would make you less embarassed if I did it too during pushing. " I thought it was actually pretty sweet









You never really appreciate continence until its gone!


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## Metasequoia (Jun 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear*
Funniest thing about this--during my first pregnancy, when I reached this point, I told dh about it....just in a whiny, feel sorry for me sort of way. He looked dumbfounded for a minute and then said, "Well, do you need my help?" He was serious--that's true love!







Then to lighten the mood, he got real creative and offered to wrap a washcloth around the doorknob with a rubber band, then I could stand on a stepstool and he'd turn the knob from the other side of the door!







Never tried it, but the mental image cracks me up! And I'm keeping it in mind just in case all else fails!









LOL







I HAVE to tell Dp *that* one!!!


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## Gendenwitha (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc*
Afterpains!!!!! I had this wonderful, all-natural waterbirth with virtually no-pain and then about DIED from the afterpains. I couldn't even nurse because everytime she would nurse the pain was UNBEARABLE and I would just break down in tears. This lasted for almost 2 days (until I got some STRONG meds!) I would have given birth 10x's over rather then deal with the afterpains.

How about the fact that although labor gets easier with each subsequent birth, the afterpains get worse?

I remember my sis and I (who gave birth 2 months apart) telling a kidless friend about afterwards:

Her: "oh yeah, you take a bath for like three months afterwards it's like the g---d--- eirie canal down there."

Me: "You get up out of the bath going, 'Didn't I have a rubber duck in here somewhere?' "

Her: rubber-duckish, "QUACK"

Kidless friend: spits her pepsi half-way across the living room.








: That was nine years ago and that poor girl STILL has no interest in pregnancy!


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## nmm2112 (Sep 6, 2003)

How about the fact that us belly sleepers still can's sleep on our bellies after birth!

I love sleeping on my belly and had been soooo looking forward to being able to get back to my old sleeping position after all the months of pregnancy. Only to find that my breasts were so full of milk it was super uncomfortable to lay on them and if I did I'd end up with a milk soaked mattress....after 6 months my milk supply wasn't soo over anxious and I could finally sleep on my belly....


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

I didn't get a chance to read everything, so I hope I'm not repeating:

1. VISCIOUS heartburn in late pregnancy. If I ate dinner no less than 3 hours before and slept sitting up, it was tolerable.

2. Fairly common, but sucky- hemerroids (spelling?). In addition, in late pregnancy you are so big that, um, reaching that region after "working" is not easy. I found it easier to just shower after. Not fun to explain to people why you decided to hop in the shower in the middle of the afternoon!

3. After delivery, that you can see bodily fluids SHOOT out. I didn't know that milk can squirt a foot away or that a baby poop in the middle of a diaper change can hit furniture on the other side of the room.


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## Birth Junky (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AngelaB*
With ds #1 I grew 3/4 of an inch taller in pregnancy. With ds#2 My shoe size went up 1/2 a size!

I have never heard of this before! I was almost 23 when I had #1 and 25 when I had #2 so I should have been done growing. Its probably all the protein I ate









I haven't heard from many women who have grown during pregnancy, but the shoe size increase is quite common. A possible side-effect that I am dreading, since I already wear a size 11 shoe!


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## juicypakwan (Jun 19, 2002)

My feet didn't grow longer they grew Wider!! Yuck. I had to get rid of all my pretty shoes.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nmm2112*
How about the fact that us belly sleepers still can's sleep on our bellies after birth!

I love sleeping on my belly and had been soooo looking forward to being able to get back to my old sleeping position after all the months of pregnancy. Only to find that my breasts were so full of milk it was super uncomfortable to lay on them and if I did I'd end up with a milk soaked mattress....after 6 months my milk supply wasn't soo over anxious and I could finally sleep on my belly....









I found that sleeping on my belly was delayed to years later when my babies were weaned and out of the family bed...I missed holding a baby close to my body, so I now lay on my side/belly, holding a pillow...







:


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I haven't read this whole thread, but:

1. Everyone always told me that I would have a birth that was similar to that of my mother and/or sister.







Holy crap, that wasn't true! With BeanBean alone I had more labor than all of the women in my family line put together for four generations! If you add up the amount of time that my sister, (two births) mother, (five births) grandmother (two births) and great-grandmother (nine births) spent in labor, you get _less than half of the time that I spent in labor with BeanBean._ It might be less than a quarter. Women in my family typically have labors so easy and fast that they're totally unbelievable to people who've never witnessed them, and they bring new meaning to the words "precipitate labor." I was in active, painful, holy-crap-this-hurts-for-the-love-of-god-end-it-now labor for at least 4.5 days.

2. The size of the opening in your pelvis is totally irrelevant if your body tissues are too swollen from preecclampsia to push.









3. If you're going to have a doctor follow you for your pregnancy, a man is more likely to be compasionate and understanding than a woman. I thought that this was just my experience, but apparently it's very common; female doctors feel like they know everything, especially the ones who've given birth themselves, so they don't take you seriously. Male doctors *know* that they can't and don't know how it feels to be pregnant or have a baby, so they don't feed you a line of bull







that you can smell coming from a mile off.

4. That a difficult birth or a c-section does not make it impossible to establish a nursing relationship, and that it's absolutely possible to establish a nursing relationship even if you don't nurse within the first hour. I was absolutely terrified that BeanBean would never be able to learn to nurse because I'd missed that critical "window."

5. That not every woman will have a difficult time getting their milk to come in if they're pumping. The protocols at our NICU for establishing supply were all based on the idea that most women don't have enough milk if they're exclusively pumping. I was not one of those women; even though BeanBean was only in the NICU for a week, I came home with a massive oversupply (and half of a freezer full of milk!).

6. Even if you do everything "right," you can get your period and ovulate very early on during nursing. I got my period back at around 3.5 months pp after BooBah was born, when I was *tandem* nursing. INSANE!!

7. I really wish that someone had told me that orgasms can cause contractions. I've seen it in books since, but I never saw it before I got pregnant with BeanBean.









8. That even when you're pregnant for the first time, the sound of a baby crying or the smell of a new baby can cause you to shoot milk everywhere! I had to wear nursing pads full time by the time I was 6 months pregnant because I was always embarassing myself in public.







This wasn't a problem with the second pregnancy, because BeanBean nursed the whole time and there was never a drop to spare.


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

:


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## lilysmama (Dec 31, 2003)

Ummmmm...... organs falling out!!! I.e. urethra, uterus, etc. Oh, and having incontinence both fecal & urine!!!!!

Definitely would have been nice to know about!!

I actually don't have all of these (well, not that I know of yet!!!) but am told that if you get one of them, most likely you will get the other ones and need a hysterectomy and other "stuff" repaired, and it may only last a few years and need to be redone!!! Oh yeah, and no heavy lifting for like forever!! Try that with a newborn and a toddler!!

Sorry, just wanted to get that out!!


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilysmama*
Ummmmm...... organs falling out!!! I.e. urethra, uterus, etc. Oh, and having incontinence both fecal & urine!!!!!

Definitely would have been nice to know about!!

I actually don't have all of these (well, not that I know of yet!!!) but am told that if you get one of them, most likely you will get the other ones and need a hysterectomy and other "stuff" repaired, and it may only last a few years and need to be redone!!! Oh yeah, and no heavy lifting for like forever!! Try that with a newborn and a toddler!!

Sorry, just wanted to get that out!!









This would not happen in a normal healthy pregnancy. I have had 3 children and never had anything like this. Kegels will prevent incontinence.


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## lilysmama (Dec 31, 2003)

You are very lucky!!! It's actually very common. But again, one of those things nobody talks about. I had two very healthy pregnancies and delivered naturally with my second. Kegals unfortunately don't do miracles for all. Here's a website if you're interested...

http://www.mybladdermd.com/whatis.htm

I also belong to some other boards that most of the women are between ages 22 and 47. One of them is U.P.R.I.S.E.(Uterine Prolapse Research, Information, Support, & Education) http://prolapse.hyperboards2.com/ind...rd=Talk&start=


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## KC in KS (Feb 24, 2005)

Things down south must've changed permanently, because I have to be *very* careful or my pee sprays everywhere. I wet the carpet the other day







(DH suggested I try sitting down - very funny!)

Sciatica and Coccydynia can linger lifelong; a chiropractor can help with one, and a coccyx pillow with the other.


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## cjcolorado (Apr 5, 2005)

Ah, yes, my old friend coccydynia...to think, I'd almost forgotten that it is quite possible to literally bust your a$$ while delivering! That pain lasted well over a year!

Another is how long your "racing stripe" (linea *****) may linger, if you are so *lucky* to develop one when pregnant.

And, I will agree, even with ridiculous amounts of kegels, urinary incontinence (to one degree or another and for varying amounts of time) is quite common during and after many normal, healthy pregnancies.


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## mommaduck (Sep 13, 2005)

"extra" nipples. I knew I had three small bumps around one aerola, but then I discovered what they were during pregnancy...no wonder my children love that breast more...they get more!


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilysmama*
You are very lucky!!! It's actually very common. But again, one of those things nobody talks about. I had two very healthy pregnancies and delivered naturally with my second. Kegals unfortunately don't do miracles for all. Here's a website if you're interested...

http://www.mybladdermd.com/whatis.htm

I also belong to some other boards that most of the women are between ages 22 and 47. One of them is U.P.R.I.S.E.(Uterine Prolapse Research, Information, Support, & Education) http://prolapse.hyperboards2.com/ind...rd=Talk&start=

hmm thats interesting. when I read through it says "labor and delivery..believed to be ...a cause of.." believed?? they aren't even sure?? I have to say that "I" don't "believe" it is a cause. and if it is there is some underlying reason this could cause it. woman are perfectly made to have babies. I wouldn't want some newly prego mama to worry about that. it is NOT common in a normal healthy person. Kegels are a miracle!!







before and after birth. I would say for them to work though you would have to do about 200 a day for them to work which is what I did. for about 3 months before delivery and 3 months after. Although when I was in my last month the pressure from babe on my uterus did cause some leakage when I laughed or coughed. But I do believe had I not did the amt of kegels I did perhaps I would be in that boat..


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## lilysmama (Dec 31, 2003)

Large babies, lying on your back and pushing for 2 1/2 hours, episiotomies, epidurals, any intervention (i.e. fetal monitors, forceps, vaccum) are definite factors. I am sure that if I would have not had any of the above I would be in much better shape. The only thing I didn't have was the forceps and the vaccum. If I would have known about all of this, I would have definitely gone completely natural!!!! If only someone would have let me know!! That is why I put this on here.


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## UrbanSimplicity (Oct 26, 2005)

thanks, chandral, that really creeped me out---though it did serve as a reminder to kegel (like, now!)!


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilysmama*
Large babies, lying on your back and pushing for 2 1/2 hours, episiotomies, epidurals, any intervention (i.e. fetal monitors, forceps, vaccum) are definite factors. I am sure that if I would have not had any of the above I would be in much better shape. The only thing I didn't have was the forceps and the vaccum. If I would have known about all of this, I would have definitely gone completely natural!!!! If only someone would have let me know!! That is why I put this on here.

















I think ppl were responding more with the thought of non-invasive birth in mind. Kegals are a must, without them there are problems from increased risk of tearing, to uterine (and anal) prolapse. Of course, if a doctor cut through the pelivc floor muscles they will be weak and these probems will occur. And because, unlike a natural tear, it is impossible to peice together layers of muscle that have been cut evenly through, the area will always remain weaker than it was prior to the cut. I would hope that no one would make someone feel bad for not knowing these things, but we also all need to realize (all the people in the world) just how powerful knowledge is, and take it upon ourselves to ensure we take in the best information.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

What a great thread! Any more surprises out there?


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## nova22 (Jun 26, 2004)

I'm probably repeating a lot because my eyeballs are starting to hurt from reading all the responses.







Here are mine:

1: I was afraid, no TERRIFIED, of the first few postpartum BMs! I don't know why I could push out an 8 pound baby but was afraid to sit on the toilet.







I drank prune juice like it was going out of existence and that helped a lot.

2: The peri bottle is wonderful. It was my best friend. Because, besides being afraid of going to the bathroom, I was afraid of toilet paper.









3: Not everyone has horrible breastfeeding problems. With my first pregnancy, I read every book I could get my hands on, and it seemed like they all assumed women will have a horrible breastfeeding relationship: flat nipples, poor latch, mastitis, thrush, the works. I was terrified and really anxious about nursing. It was fine! It was a great quiet time. I wasn't comfortable with NIP for a few weeks, so I got to sit alone in my room with no one bothering me while I nursed. It was a good excuse to get a break when I was tired of visitors, too.









4: One of the things I said after DS was born: "Am I still supposed to _hurt_?" I was so sore...I guess all that perineal (sp) stretching did me in. It didn't last long, but it definitely didn't just stop hurting right after I finished pushing.

5: Olive Oil + Perineum = Ahhhhhh
DH did perineal massage with olive oil from about 36 weeks on in my first pregnancy. He could tell the stretch was improving and I had not a single tear when DS was born. We didn't do it with my second pregnancy and I did tear...I know that wasn't the only reason (she was born quickly) but it made me wish we had at least tried to do massages.

6: Let me reiterate...prune juice is your friend.









7: Don't ask the nurses if you can take a bath after the baby is born. Wait til they're gone and just do it. With my first, we were in an apartment with no tub (just a standing shower) and I was dying for a bath. I asked them if I could and they said no because of the "risk of infection".







: 2nd baby, same hospital - I told my husband to lock the door to my room and I hopped into the whirlpool. It was so nice and relaxing after the intensity of the birth.

8: Textbook labors happen in textbooks.







I don't know anyone who had a regular "textbook" labor, they are all so different.

9: If your first labor is long and tough, it doesn't mean your second will be long and tough (and vice versa). My first and second were very different, except for the fact that htey both started in active labor (cntx 3 minutes apart & 60 seconds long from the beginning).

10: If you are paying for the birth yourself (or even if your insurance is paying but you want to be sure about the bill), *REQUEST AN ITEMIZED BILL FROM THE HOSPITAL*. When DS was born, I was insured but he was not (long story







). We got an itemized bill and found that they put on some things that we didn't get and services we didn't use. We made them take off a couple tests that we waived, pacifiers and diapers, etc. and dramatically reduced our bill. I don't think they liked us very much but it was no sweat off our backs.


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## nova22 (Jun 26, 2004)

Oh and one more thing!

After birth I was SO! EMOTIONAL!

I remember going to CVS for something when DS was only a week or so old. He was asleep when we arrived so DH went inside while I stayed with DS. I just looked at him and started to cry because I had never felt that way about anyone or anything. I couldn't believe how strongly I loved him or how much I wanted to keep him safe.

Then there are women who don't feel that they can bond with their baby, because they weren't quite ready for birth, or they're having breastfeeding issues, or they had a really difficult labor, or whatever. My friend was like that because she was seperated from her baby for several weeks after birth (both baby and mom were having serious complications), and felt like she missed out on important bonding time. It didn't make her a bad person because she felt like she wasn't bonding with her baby, and it doesn't make me a good person because I was head over heels in love from the very beginning. Emotions are funny...just make sure you have the support you need (friends, family, MDC, moms' groups if you're lucky enough to find a good one, LLL) and it will help tremendously.


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## NameThatMama (Oct 26, 2004)

If you get skidmarks instead of/in addition to tears, they can heal together. Yes, together. I mean, like, your labia can fuse together and make a neat little tunnel between your vagina and your clitoris. And by "neat," I mean "dangerous and a pain in the tush to undo." My midwife was horrified when she did my postpartum exam.

I wasn't prepared for a bruised tailbone, but a bruised tailbone I got.

Sheila Kitzinger lied to me. It *is* possible to deliver a baby when your contractions are still farther apart than 2 minutes. You *can* be in or past transition when they're 5 minutes apart.

Last but not least, laboring while dehydrated is worse than transition. Once I was rehydrated at the hospital, labor and delivery were a piece of cake.


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

Kitzinger said that?!! I am seriously disappointed in her! I though it was common knowledge that labor slows down in the second stage, its typical that contractions space out to about 5 minutes apart during the pushing phase.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NameThatMama*
Sheila Kitzinger lied to me. It *is* possible to deliver a baby when your contractions are still farther apart than 2 minutes. You *can* be in or past transition when they're 5 minutes apart.

My 3rd labor was really strange - my contractions stayed pretty much 5 minutes apart the ENTIRE twenty hours including the time when I started to push. It really sucked.


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## NameThatMama (Oct 26, 2004)

I should clarify... page 256 (fourth edition) _Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth_, Kitzinger wrote: "Having contractions every five minutes can be tiring ... [blahblah] ... But the baby cannot possibly be born when contractions are coming this far apart." Per Kitzinger, my 11-week-old should still be inside me. My contractions were never regularly closer than 5 minutes apart. She also writes that they're usually 15-30 seconds, but most of mine were at least a minute, frequently two.


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## Christine&men (Jun 4, 2005)

You can't throw up and control your bladder at the same time...


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## veganf (Dec 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Christine&men*
You can't throw up and control your bladder at the same time...

Ummm....having had morning sickness since this past december, I can certainly say that's not true until I was on my 10th vomit session of the day. There are many reasons to do your Kegels!!


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## alsoSarah (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gendenwitha*
I remember my sis and I (who gave birth 2 months apart) telling a kidless friend about afterwards:

Her: "oh yeah, you take a bath for like three months afterwards it's like the g---d--- eirie canal down there."

Me: "You get up out of the bath going, 'Didn't I have a rubber duck in here somewhere?' "

Her: rubber-duckish, "QUACK"

Kidless friend: spits her pepsi half-way across the living room.








: That was nine years ago and that poor girl STILL has no interest in pregnancy!



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *nova22*
7: Don't ask the nurses if you can take a bath after the baby is born. Wait til they're gone and just do it. With my first, we were in an apartment with no tub (just a standing shower) and I was dying for a bath. I asked them if I could and they said no because of the "risk of infection".







: 2nd baby, same hospital - I told my husband to lock the door to my room and I hopped into the whirlpool. It was so nice and relaxing after the intensity of the birth.

I had no idea that was safe!
I totally believed the whole, "high risk of infection" spiel....
I wish I had known---- I wanted a bath soooo much!

alsoSarah


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

No one told me, or could possibly have expressed to me, the absolute WEIRDNESS of the feeling of your insides going back into place.


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

My ribs hurt for three days while they moved back into place.


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teacup*
*That after having this person you feel so so so raw. Not just physically, either. Emotionally. *The world is too harsh a place. Things are too loud, too fast.*

Oooh! Good one! I totally felt that way too.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc*
Afterpains!!!!! I had this wonderful, all-natural waterbirth with virtually no-pain and then about DIED from the afterpains. I couldn't even nurse because everytime she would nurse the pain was UNBEARABLE and I would just break down in tears. This lasted for almost 2 days (until I got some STRONG meds!) I would have given birth 10x's over rather then deal with the afterpains.

Afterpains were what I thought of when I read the OP too. I've given birth three times (completely natural) and all three times, thought the afterpains were much, much worse than any part of labor.

Also that breastfeeding hurts like a you know what the first few weeks, even if they are latched well. But the pain should subside after a minute or so if the latch is good. If it just hurts the whole time, that is a bad latch.

And I don't think vomiting during labor is all THAT common. I know lots of people do, but lots of us don't. A percentage guess? I'd say it was in the minority - at least as far as my circle of friends. Can only think of a few that I know - and they all had c-sections.


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## Quagmire (Sep 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nova22*
10: If you are paying for the birth yourself (or even if your insurance is paying but you want to be sure about the bill), *REQUEST AN ITEMIZED BILL FROM THE HOSPITAL*. When DS was born, I was insured but he was not (long story







). We got an itemized bill and found that they put on some things that we didn't get and services we didn't use. We made them take off a couple tests that we waived, pacifiers and diapers, etc. and dramatically reduced our bill. I don't think they liked us very much but it was no sweat off our backs.









What a great tip!


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## nova22 (Jun 26, 2004)

How about those WEIRD dreams!

I actually found a study somewhere during my first pregnancy about the weird dreams pregnant moms have. I'd love to find it again. It said a lot of pregnant women in their 1st trimester have weird sex dreams about exes, people you've had a crush on at some point, whatever. 2nd trimester dreams were pretty normal, and 3rd trimester dreams start to get weird and often involve the baby in some way.

I read a book years ago that said it's normal to have nightmares about childbirth and being a parent, but that never happened. All my weird dreams involve a safe baby, but they're really far out there and they got even more bizarre after the baby was born!


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## Kerriemoe (Aug 3, 2005)

I can't believe I just read this whole thread! OK, it took a few days.









I was amazed at some of the nasty things I'd forgotten about!

I didn't know that if I didn't get up and pee right away after giving birth, my urethra would spasm, I wouldn't be able to go, and I'd have to be catheterized. By the time the nurse told me this, it was too late.









I didn't know my baby would prefer one breast over the other, at least to the point that I'd have SO much trouble getting him to latch on his "vanilla" side (he preferred the "chocolate").

I didn't know that, even though all the books say sex gets so much better during pregnancy, for me it would actually hurt.

I didn't expect that I'd go from total exhaustion and oxygen deprivation limpness right before the birth, to sitting up straight 5 minutes later, asking to see the placenta, and begging for food because my stomach was suddenly growling so loud everyone could hear it. I ate 3 dinners.

I didn't know it would take me a while to reconcile the baby I'd bonded with over the last few months, with the large purple lumpy hairy stranger they laid on my belly. You get a picture in your mind of what a "baby" looks like, for instance, I was sure mine was a bald baby girl! And then my son was born with a full head of dark, curly hair. It was so unreal.

I didn't know that once I did realize he was in fact my baby, the depth of love I felt would be just overwhelming, feeling like too much emotion for one person to possibly bear.


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## BohoMama (Jun 26, 2003)

: My wavy hair straightened in the last trimester!!!!

It is just now starting to wave again, 4 months after A's birth. It's also starting to fall out, though.

Oh yeah, and something positive: that getting stretch marks is so much more a matter of genetics than of age, weight gain or using special creams. I am 33 and very petite - less than 5' 1'', with a usual weight of about 105. I gained maybe 40 pounds in my first pregnancy (then took it all off) and gained 50 in the second. And look ma, no stretch marks!!!


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## Ell-Bell (Nov 16, 2002)

I had no idea that I would be RAVISHED from breastfeeding. After Max was born I was more hungry than during the pregnancy. Several other nursing moms have said the same thing.. I'm always hungry!


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## Rico'sAlice (Mar 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ell-Bell*
I had no idea that I would be RAVISHED from breastfeeding.

Because DP was so filled with lust by the site of engorged BBs that he just had to have you right away?








Sorry to be the vocabulary police, but I think you meant ravenous.


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## BabyBumblebee (Mar 16, 2005)

I wish I'd known how much varicose veins can hurt









I have a real beauty that goes from my ankle right into my labia...yeeowch, and it swelled like an SOB - I really thought I had some kind of freaky tumour







:


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## terrabella (Oct 19, 2005)

Um, that when you are in the throws of labor. I mean excruciating pain. Your pelvis is being torn open and you just want to DIE, and you know that the baby is coming any freakin minute... that they'll send you back home because you've still got a long ways to go honey. WTF?!? That sucked!









That my midwife trusted me completely, and when I leaned up while pushing and whined "Help me please!" she would look me straight in the eye for about thirty seconds, and then snip! Stupid big whiny mouth!!! Oh, yeah and that the sound of your perineum being snipped is really awful, and you can still "hear" it eight years later.







:

Um, yeah, hearing "We have some stool here..." is really embarrassing!!! I know the nurses see it all the time, but not my husband!!!!









That you go into shock afterwards. I thought I was dying when I started uncontrolably shaking!!!









That was just one! Here's two:

Second labors are NOT always half the time!!!!!!!!!









That even if you do not get rhoids with your first, you *SO* _can_ with your second.









But hey, at least I didn't poop!









#3...

Posterior babies REALLY hurt!!!

Goopy vaginal fluid coming from your baby girl's vulva is NORMAL!!!


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## happymamajenni (Jun 2, 2004)

I never knew that newborn's breasts can become swollen....I was scared something was wrong with my daughter.
That while breastfeeding is natural it takes A LOT of time and effort. I don't think most first time moms know how hard it actually is.
That your hormones can be screwed up for a long time. I'm still dealing with problems with mood swings, anxiety and depression, and my youngest is two. My sex drive has also not improved much.


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## AmandasMom (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happymamajenni* 
I never knew that newborn's breasts can become swollen..

my daughter also got her 'period' for a day after birth too...


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

I'm only 5-6 weeks along, but so far, nobody told me about the GAS... OMG.

I am coming up with the most creative excuses to leave the room at work. I visit the bathroom so much (to toot as much as to pee!) that my coworkers think I have a UTI. I feel like I have elephant-sized gas inside me.


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## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

Yeah - the shaking after giving birth thing. That caught me totally by surprise.

And then those nurses wanted me to get up and go have a SHOWER!!!!! I couldn't believe that anyone expected me to move anywhere under my own power after giving birth for the first time (second and subsequent times around were much better!).

I second the notion of checking hospital bills before paying them. Lots of hospitals will bill every male birth for a circumcision, even if the parents were clued up and made sure to protect their baby from that. Makes you wonder about published circumcision rates sometimes...


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## FiberLover (Feb 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WeasleyMum* 
I'm only 5-6 weeks along, but so far, nobody told me about the GAS... OMG.

I am coming up with the most creative excuses to leave the room at work. I visit the bathroom so much (to toot as much as to pee!) that my coworkers think I have a UTI. I feel like I have elephant-sized gas inside me.

YES!

I'm thinking of buying my poor hubby a gas mask for our anniversary!


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## Krystal323 (May 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc* 
Afterpains!!!!! I had this wonderful, all-natural waterbirth with virtually no-pain and then about DIED from the afterpains. I couldn't even nurse because everytime she would nurse the pain was UNBEARABLE and I would just break down in tears. This lasted for almost 2 days (until I got some STRONG meds!) I would have given birth 10x's over rather then deal with the afterpains.

A kindred spirit!!!









That was my experience exactly, and nobody warned me at ALL


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluebottle* 
a placenta is HUGE and kind of horrific. take a picture.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *cjcolorado* 
Another is how long your "racing stripe" (linea *****) may linger, if you are so *lucky* to develop one when pregnant.

I loved my linea *****. My hubby thought it was sexy. Unfortunately, it never came back as darkly in subsequent pregnancies as it was in my first.









Oh, my dd did get a linea ***** for a while after birth.

I was surprised, during my hospital birth, that the nurse walked into the bathroom with me to watch and make sure I peed. Uhm, I'm far more likely to _not be able to pee_ if you're standing there watching me!

Afterpains were a surprise for me, too. They were almost nonexistant after my first, and soooooo painful after my second. I kept liquid calcium and magnesium on hand after my third, and it helped a little, but still, yeouch.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Yes, pooping (and even diarrhea!) during the pushing process would have been good to know.


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## Lady Lilya (Jan 27, 2007)

subbing

glad i didn't read this until AFTER i got pregnant, or i might not have done it


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## BrooklynDoula (Oct 23, 2002)

pooping during labor and pushing surprised me as well and I passed one almost tennis ball sized clot after and somehow missed knowing that that could happen!

(And, I DID get up a take a shower after my first birth - over 30 hours of labor- but I was 100% energy afterwards and no pains)


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## Valid28 (Mar 4, 2007)

1. I really wished that I had known that you could pass clots the size of golf balls or larger. I screamed like a banshee when I passed a large clot. I panicked and called for dh to bring me the phone immediately. Then I called the doctor's office answering service and had them page the doctor. I thought that I was hemorraghing and was about to die. The doctor on call was a stranger and a male to boot. I was mortified explaining what had happened to him. He was able to tell me that it was normal. Why didn't any of the books mention this. I almost called 911. Seriously.
2. I wish I had known that ds would nurse for eight hours straight.







I was so sore. I wish I had brought the lanosh to the hospital and a pacifier. They didn't have any pacifiers at the hospital.
3. I wish that I had heard of babies who nurse for 30-40 minutes on each said per breast at every feeding. The books I read made it seem like it would be for 20 minutes max.


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## cynde (Oct 30, 2006)

that someone had told me that there are 2 sacs and that one can break without leading to labor (the chorion) and that it can break without risk of infection. I thought I had the most sure sign ever, wed eve.
but alas - I am still preggie


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## Bimmergal2005 (Nov 16, 2005)

I read so much about pregnancy, that I didn't really know what would happen after the birth process, especially if I had a c-section. Well, I ended up having a c-section which destroyed me emotionally. I wish I had paid more attention to what could happen in the event I had a c-section. I was really surprised that I bled so much after. I would have expected it had I delivered vaginally. At some point, I decided I'd stand while the nurse was changing out my sheets and bed pad because they were all soaked in blood (eew...sorry!) and imagine my horror when my husband started getting pale and I looked down to see blood dripping down my leg and onto the floor. And I even had a pad and that lovely disposable panty on!

Oh, I also wasn't prepared for the uncontrollable shaking after the surgery. The whole surgery and hour or two after is pretty foggy but I remember shaking so hard my teeth were hurting from clanking together.


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## Fujiko (Nov 11, 2006)

I wish someone told me that during my first trimester my hair would fall out a bit and stop growing. Or maybe it was just because I was so malnourished from the m/s. I dunno. And the gas was horrendous, too. SOO MUCH GAS! Also, no one told me that I'd be peeing every 15 minutes in my last trimester because the baby is laying on my bladder. Seriously, as I am finishing up peeing I feel like I have to pee again! How is that even physically possible?


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## angel1895 (Nov 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandasMom* 
The most embarrassing thing for me was having to have nurses change my pad and the pad on my bed because I bled so heavily after. After I was able to stand (had CS), i would overflow the pad and bled on the floor and down my leg and gawd it is so humiliating to have someone clean me and the mess i made up. I even made DH look away.









.. that happened to me to!


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## angel1895 (Nov 9, 2006)

I wish someone would have told me how utterly painful a c/sec could be...

1. like I just said.. the bleeding was outrageous
2. when I was on the table.. I couldnt feel myself breathe because the anesthesia went really high up on my body... not fun!
3. I couldnt get out of my bed by myself until the third day... and the one nurse that was always there during the day was a b*tch.
4.I wish someone told me the morphine makes your face itch like CRAZY!!

I know I got more
I'm VBACing next time.. damn it!


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## starlein26 (Apr 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommiska* 
Yeah - the shaking after giving birth thing. That caught me totally by surprise.
And then those nurses wanted me to get up and go have a SHOWER!!!!! I couldn't believe that anyone expected me to move anywhere under my own power after giving birth for the first time (second and subsequent times around were much better!).


It's crazy how much shaking your body does hunh?!?!







:


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## cheeseRjedi (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fujiko* 
Seriously, as I am finishing up peeing I feel like I have to pee again! How is that even physically possible?

























I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you. It's more of a BTDT laugh.

I remember going to a concert at Red Rocks 10 days before DD was born. For those of you who have never been to Red Rocks, imagine one giant staircase with a stage







. There are sooooo many stairs and I had to pee every 5 minutes







: . Plus I could feel water squishing around in my feet and they were so swollen I couldn't even wear shoes







.


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## 50ftQueenie (Jan 24, 2007)

The allergies!!! I am sitting here at 5.5 months in a mountain of kleenex. It's as bad as the constant peeing in the 1st trimester. I love my kitties, but I find myself looking around at them trying to decide which ones I could part with. Poor guys!







:
I went to a prenatal support group last week, and all the first time moms were curious about the afterbirth. No one really ever talk about that, so we're all wondering how long it takes, what it feels like, do you even care because you have your baby by then, etc?


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## deuxceleste (Aug 19, 2006)

Bumping this! I like this thread!


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## Annie37 (Mar 3, 2007)

Dunno if it's just me, but since I got pregnant, I have these WILD sex dreams, but really NO urge for hubby...??


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## bryannastreasure (Nov 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *carlasher* 
Attention/flirting from other men.

It has increased by by 300% since I started showing. :LOL NO ONE warned me about that one.


YES!! omg, who would have thought that just being pregnant was a turn-on. I couldn't keep them away with a flyswatter. but it went away right after birth.
bryanna


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## bryannastreasure (Nov 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WeasleyMum* 
I'm only 5-6 weeks along, but so far, nobody told me about the GAS... OMG.

I am coming up with the most creative excuses to leave the room at work. I visit the bathroom so much (to toot as much as to pee!) that my coworkers think I have a UTI. I feel like I have elephant-sized gas inside me.

+++++
I tasted the infant simethicone out of desperation, and low and behold the gas went away. 0.6ml dose and you'll feel so much better.
love and light,
Bryanna


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bryannastreasure* 
+++++
I tasted the infant simethicone out of desperation, and low and behold the gas went away. 0.6ml dose and you'll feel so much better.
love and light,
Bryanna

Thanks for the advice, I'll have to try it! Right now I feel better as far as that goes, it's amazing the day-to-day differences. But I'm sure it will come back-- probably Monday at work!







I'll try to be prepared!


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## ladyleigh (Dec 5, 2006)

bump







:


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

...ack...my thread is coming back _again_!!


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## myjulybabes (Jun 24, 2003)

Great thread! I think most of the stuff I would say has been covered-- the afterpains, exactly how much you can bleed after the birth, etc. Here's an unusual one though:

If you have to have a c-section...they have a standard height for that surgical drape. You may want to have them adjust it if your partner/birth support person is tall. Thankfully, my dh is not squeamish and thought it was "cool" to see all my internal organs.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Graceoc* 
Afterpains!!!!! I had this wonderful, all-natural waterbirth with virtually no-pain and then about DIED from the afterpains. I couldn't even nurse because everytime she would nurse the pain was UNBEARABLE and I would just break down in tears. This lasted for almost 2 days (until I got some STRONG meds!) I would have given birth 10x's over rather then deal with the afterpains.

This is the ONE thing that I have to agree with is the after pains especially while nursing but the worst is when they check your uterus right after birth to make sure it is contracting and starting to go back to its original size ..It is like torture. Having them push on a muscle that just did all that work !! That is the one thing I tell people it hurts like hell_!!!_


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

No one ever told me that I would be unable to actually _breathe_ during intense contractions. It was almost as if my diaphram were frozen and I tried so hard to breathe. This is usually how I know I'm starting transition.
Maybe noone told me because noone else has this happen














: .


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NameThatMama* 
I should clarify... page 256 (fourth edition) _Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth_, Kitzinger wrote: "Having contractions every five minutes can be tiring ... [blahblah] ... But the baby cannot possibly be born when contractions are coming this far apart." Per Kitzinger, my 11-week-old should still be inside me. My contractions were never regularly closer than 5 minutes apart. She also writes that they're usually 15-30 seconds, but most of mine were at least a minute, frequently two.

This happened to a friend of mine who just delivered. Her contractions never less than five minutes, but they were each TWO MINUTES long. The midwife said she'd never seen a labor pattern like that in 30 years of deliveries.

I love this thread. I think I read it before I ever got pregnant, and for me it is so comforting to feel prepared for all the wacky stuff no one tells you about, especially now that I could be giving birth any day now!


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

Wow. My contractions are mostly a minute as well and frequently two.
15-30 second contractions~~~ hmmm....


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
I wish someone had told me that pushing wasn't always a relief, and that it didn't always take 15 minutes. I hated pushing more than anything, and I pushed for over 3 hours.

I wish someone had told me that it was going to feel like I had just pushed the baby out of my butt, not my vagina!


All of that and the baby girl having her mini period. That freaked me out.

Oh and all of those who said you'll forget the pain as soon as the baby is out LIED to me. I will never forget that pain. EVER. And I was sure to tell my mother that as soon as DD finally came out.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

I just read this whole tread, and I swear it was better than any pregnancy book I've ever read.

I laughed so much, and learnt alot. Now, I wonder if I can get DF to read some of this....


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## mother4good (Mar 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *linnea* 
My "Wish I Knew"s are all post-birth... I wish someone had told me about some of the minor but extremely irritating complications of giving birth. The two that still plague me are a seperated pubic bone (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction) and... well, this one is gross, and there's no delicate way to put it. Anal fissure. Augh.








:

Hey don't be embarassed. I have had that twice, but have been given cortisone suppositories and loaxatives and they healed up and never came back. You might ask your midwife or OBGYN. With the last baby I called her and said, hey cna you give me some of those???


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I craved coconuts during my first pregnancy. and coconut syrup.









My baby will be twenty-seven next month. She drinks only coconut milk because she likes it better than any milk or fruit or nut juice.










OTOH, I drank quarts of buttermilk during my last pregnancy, and my fifteen year old hates buttermilk.


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## Sunshine4004 (Nov 17, 2006)

This is a great thread for first time pregnancies!


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## LaurenB (Sep 24, 2006)

I didn't know anything about sciatica. And if I had heard about it, I never would have believed it could be this bad. There's a pretty good chance I won't want to have any more children after this because of it.







:


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Yes, sciatica.

I had it extremely bad with my second baby, and a cold and sneezing to boot. I rode a bicycle throughout the pregnancy so I could get some exercise. It helped during the posterior, deflexed head, ascynclitism labor at home.


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## Pastrydemon (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mum2tori* 
Not exactly pregnancy/birth but...

Would have been nice if someone had mentioned that after the first week the baby's skin will peel like a snake.

















Talk about scare a couple of newbie parents with the great mottling newborn. :LOL :LOL

I'll have to think about the others. I know the list was long the first time. :LOL :LOL

Oh god! I forgot about that! I wish someone had told me! I thought something was wrong with her skin!


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## Mamato2boy (May 21, 2007)

I don't know if this was said but I would say no one told me that there was such a thing as back labor and how horrible it is. I think it is worse than regular labor. Stronger period cramps, yeah right! More like being stabbed with a hot knife in your back.

The other would be the pain you get when you first start to nurse, I believe it's the uterus contracting everytime the baby sucks.

Just two more wonderful things I have to look forward to again. Good to know now!!! And all worth it!!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LaurenB* 
I didn't know anything about sciatica. And if I had heard about it, I never would have believed it could be this bad. There's a pretty good chance I won't want to have any more children after this because of it.







:









With my third, I was literally incapacitated by sciatic nerve pain. Physical therapy did WONDERS for me but I was having such a horrible time... it was like having a migraine in my ass.







:


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## ishereal (Sep 12, 2007)

OMG! This is my first and you guys are scaring me but I'm sure it's all worth it in the end ........... rigggggggggggggght!??!?!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

My first pregnancy, labor, and delivery are the stuff of horror stories. My firstborn child is one of the most amazing human beings I've ever known.







It's SO worth it.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

So glad I read this thread before giving birth. I think I was prepared for all the weirdness and wonder, as much as you can be!


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## ishereal (Sep 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_dalai_mama* 
The fact that after years of breastfeeding your breasts can actually end up smaller than they were originally (not a happy prospect for a barely "B" cup).
















But it's all worth it!























I was a A cup before I got pregnant and now I'm a B or C and your telling me these "bad boys" are going to go away.................. OH NO!







:


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## dianna11 (Dec 3, 2004)

Pregnancy:
- Moles, like WOAH! There is one on my head that is now the size of a raisin, and it's flesh coloured. My hair is baby fine to begin with, and it's rather visible







I do hope it goes away after.

- I forgot about this the last time, but my hoo-hoo is HUGE







The midwife said that the whole pelvic area gets vascular, but whoa!

PostPartum:
- Sweat! I feared DD would drown in my sweat at night - I think all of the water weight I had during pregnancy just flew out of my pores and I would wake up in puddles.

- Sex can be painful during pregnancy and FAR after the magical 6 week PP mark. I think it took until about a year PP before sex didn't hurt. it didn't get actually enjoyable until about 2 years pp, then I went and got pregnant again 

- Hair loss. Oh boy. I have baby fine hair to begin with, and I ended up with bald patches. It didn't just end at 3 months PP,. it would go in 3 month cycles , and fall out in hand fulls.


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## klink2 (Jul 27, 2005)

post-partum
I had no idea of the intensity of those bonding hormones. Sitting there just bawling my head off and hurting with love for this little thing that was only an idea just days before.

And let-down! I had no idea my breasts would start leaking any time I heard _any_ baby cry. Trips to Target become an adventure!


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## mchalehm (Feb 5, 2007)

I wish I had known:
* That I would, indeed, hate being naked in front of people--everyone says that during labor you won't care, but I did, very much;
* That not every mama can make enough milk. I know, I know--mainstream people give up on breastfeeding too easily, yada yada yada. Well, apparently I have IGT, but I didn't know, and my baby lost a LOT of weight while I was going from LC to LC, nursing all the time, holding my screaming (i.e. hungry) baby all the time, etc. I really wish that someone had said to me, "There are a few exceptions to the "everyone can breastfeed exclusively" rule; let's think about whether your situation might be one of these and what we can do." My baby went hungry for a long time and I would not do that again.

(And by the way--in case you're wondering--I didn't give up on breastfeeding completely. But we always needed to feed formula too, and I firmly believe that she really did need it. My supply never came up, not at all.)


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## leafwood (Jun 15, 2004)

That being in labor to me felt like I was having IBS and it made me want to deliver my baby on the toilet.

That right after birthing, when they handed me the baby it was OK to feel a bit detached, overwhealmed, and not necessarily instantly bonded to my baby. And that despite that experience, I would fall maddly, deeply in love with her within days.

Post partum.....that the hunger during early BF was so intense I became a demanding, hormonal, feeding maniac and dh was fetching all sorts of late night feeding props for me while I nursed (like, I NEED fresh strawberries and yogurt at 3am). And that this never happened to me during pregnancy so it was quite unexpected.

That a ductal yeast infection is far more painful than any labor related experience, and that many medical providers aren't informed about symptoms or treatment.


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## ~NewMa~ (Nov 20, 2007)

My first surprise came after I was first starting to show. After haivng an orgasm, my uterus just stood at attention. I thought I was going into preterm labor or something! I know your uterus is a muscle and contracts after orgasm, but I've never been able to see it in action.







The firmness and distention had me totally freaked. No pain or anything with it though- thank goodness, Buuut- I kinda wish I had been warned that that could happen!








- expecting first in April


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## cushy (Nov 24, 2005)

Nobody told me what a fourth degree tear was, or that it was even possible, until I got one.

Nobody told me I would willingly and happily take castor oil after three days of hospital food, no bm, and lots of stitches. I was actually thrilled to have diarrhea (tmi- sorry).

Noone told me about the super ugly and uncomfortable varicose veins in the privates.

Oh man, I could go on and on. There have been lots of surprises. This is fun to read though while starting my last trimester. Ah, memories...


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## jsmith2279 (Jan 12, 2007)

FWIW, I had no poop/puking with my labor at all. Actually, right before I went into labor (or when it first started) I thought I had the flu, because I had the runs so bad, but after I got it all out, there was nothing to worry about.

I guess what surprised me the most is having contractions 6 weeks postpartum after finally having sex again!!! I was like.... _this isn't pleasant..._


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## jlsizemore (Sep 11, 2007)

This is baby number 5 and I've NEVER had hip pain like this before. I guess what has surprised me most is how different each and every pregnancy has been. It seems like there has always been something that hurts with each one. With the previous pregnancy I had kidney stones something awful and ended up having surgery on my left kidney after I had that baby. I just hope my hips go back to normal!!


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## cubasianchica (Jun 18, 2007)

dont know if its been mentioned but no one warned me that the baby kicks internally... you always think of it kicking outward but when I felt this at first boy was it totally different


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## JennaW (Oct 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mchalehm* 
I wish I had known:
* That I would, indeed, hate being naked in front of people--everyone says that during labor you won't care, but I did, very much;

I'm glad you posted this because I am about 7 weeks and have always felt that I would prefer to birth with just me and DH because I just would not feel comfortable having my family see me naked or see my vagina. I was just thinking the other day "Well maybe it would be nice to do the whole family thing" but I really think it would make me very uncomfortable, and hinder the process.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Even if I felt comfortable about being naked in front of ds and dd's partner, I'm afraid that would be a deal-breaker for them so they will not be at the birth, although I'm hoping I'll want them around during the very early stages of labour and that they will want to be there.









Just a sad reality of having teenaged boys. YMMV and I hope it does.


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## Beeblebrox (Apr 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlsizemore* 
This is baby number 5 and I've NEVER had hip pain like this before. I guess what has surprised me most is how different each and every pregnancy has been. It seems like there has always been something that hurts with each one. With the previous pregnancy I had kidney stones something awful and ended up having surgery on my left kidney after I had that baby. I just hope my hips go back to normal!!

I was going to post this as my own, but I think you touched on it. I haven't been able to read the whole thread so I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I never knew about symphisis pubis dysfunction (sp). Extreme pain in your pelvis area from a misalignment. It can cause you pain to walk, lift your legs to put pants on, turn over in bed, freeze up when you start to walk after being still for awhile. I knew something was up with this pregnancy because I didn't have this with DD. It's much worse than your regular aches and pains in pregnancy and my hips and joints and killing me!


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## jlsizemore (Sep 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Beeblebrox* 
I was going to post this as my own, but I think you touched on it. I haven't been able to read the whole thread so I'm not sure if this has been posted before, but I never knew about symphisis pubis dysfunction (sp). Extreme pain in your pelvis area from a misalignment. It can cause you pain to walk, lift your legs to put pants on, turn over in bed, freeze up when you start to walk after being still for awhile. I knew something was up with this pregnancy because I didn't have this with DD. It's much worse than your regular aches and pains in pregnancy and my hips and joints and killing me!

I KNOW!! I can't believe how painful and uncomfortable this has become. Thank GOD I only have to make it until Tuesday. I have no idea what the recovery of this is. I can only hope that once the baby is out my body will go back to normal and I won't have to deal with this pain any longer.


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

I can't believe my thread is still going...over THREE YEARS LATER!!!


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