# So worried about dd's weight



## JellyMomma (May 16, 2008)

DD (11 yo) has gained A LOT of weight very suddenly. She got her period in Oct. and her appetite skyrocketed. I had no idea how bad it was until we went skiing and she had to get on a scale. She weighs 120 and the last time she weighed herself she was 90 lbs (about a year ago). I even went out and bought a new scale last week. Several days later she told me that my new scale was broken because it said that she weighed 120 lbs. I told her that it wasn't broken and that because of puberty her body is changing. She said "Wow-I'm fat!". I told her that she wasn't fat but that she might need to start exercising more.

She's only 5'0 tall. I've made an appt. with a naturopath (April 7th) and requested her records from the peditrician to see what her weight was last year. I really don't buy a lot of junk food--very rarely--but she eats huge quanitities of food now--a typical after school snack is 2 yogurts, a PB&J on whole wheat and 5 or 6 low carb chocolate chip cookies (made with coconut flour, flax meal, stevia and erythritol)--then she's ready for a big dinner at 6:00, and by 8:30 she tells me she's hungry again. She's home alone after school so I don't have much control over what she eats then. She's never had a big appetite (until now)and has always been very thin. I'm guessing that she has a hormonal imbalance but I don't know what is done for that. I've tried to lower her carb intake over the last year but I'm sure she eats junk at school. I'm going to have her start bringing her lunch, and have her help plan the menus. I've said very little to her about it--just that it's important to nourish our bodies, and eat a variety of foods, lots of fruit and veggies, etc. etc. She's a VERY picky eater so it's a constant battle to get her to eat fruits and veggies. She's worn sweatshirts for most of the winter but she had on a tight t-shirt last night and her belly was really protruding. She looked 5 months pregnant; she's also gained a lot in her hips and thighs. She's wearing 12 plus jeans from Old Navy and those are snug. Up until last year I had to buy her slim sizes or they would fall off of her.

Does anyone have any idea what might be going on here?

Note: I've battled a weight problem all my life, and it runs in my family. I was a little bit chubby even before puberty, though, even as a baby. Her weight gain has been so sudden that I know something is not right.


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JellyMomma* 
DD (11 yo) has gained A LOT of weight very suddenly. She got her period in Oct. and her appetite skyrocketed. I had no idea how bad it was until we went skiing and she had to get on a scale. She weighs 120 and the last time she weighed herself she was 90 lbs (about a year ago). I even went out and bought a new scale last week. Several days later she told me that my new scale was broken because it said that she weighed 120 lbs. I told her that it wasn't broken and that because of puberty her body is changing. She said "Wow-I'm fat!". I told her that she wasn't fat but that she might need to start exercising more.

She's only 5'0 tall. I've made an appt. with a naturopath (April 7th) and requested her records from the peditrician to see what her weight was last year. I really don't buy a lot of junk food--very rarely--but she eats huge quanitities of food now--a typical after school snack is 2 yogurts, a PB&J on whole wheat and 5 or 6 low carb chocolate chip cookies (made with coconut flour, flax meal, stevia and erythritol)--then she's ready for a big dinner at 6:00, and by 8:30 she tells me she's hungry again. She's home alone after school so I don't have much control over what she eats then. She's never had a big appetite (until now)and has always been very thin. I'm guessing that she has a hormonal imbalance but I don't know what is done for that. I've tried to lower her carb intake over the last year but I'm sure she eats junk at school. I'm going to have her start bringing her lunch, and have her help plan the menus. I've said very little to her about it--just that it's important to nourish our bodies, and eat a variety of foods, lots of fruit and veggies, etc. etc. She's a VERY picky eater so it's a constant battle to get her to eat fruits and veggies. She's worn sweatshirts for most of the winter but she had on a tight t-shirt last night and her belly was really protruding. She looked 5 months pregnant; she's also gained a lot in her hips and thighs. She's wearing 12 plus jeans from Old Navy and those are snug. Up until last year I had to buy her slim sizes or they would fall off of her.

Does anyone have any idea what might be going on here?

Note: I've battled a weight problem all my life, and it runs in my family. I was a little bit chubby even before puberty, though, even as a baby. Her weight gain has been so sudden that I know something is not right.

Please try not to get too worried. Puberty does a lot of funny things and her weight can fluctuate between growth spurts. It is a good idea to get her checked out because she could have a thyroid imbalance or something like that. But the worst thing you could do is give her the impression that "something is wrong" at her age she could develop an eating disorder if she thinks it is such a big deal.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Do a search on 'children's bmi index' and check out some of the calculators. They're not definitive but are one indicator of her health. According to this pediatric body mass index calculator, an 11 y.o. girl, 120 lbs at 5 feet tall has a body mass index of 23.5 and is _at risk_ for being overweight, but technically is not overweight. So make of that what you will.

Girls go through a stage in puberty when they gain a little weight, just before they grow a little taller. Mother Nature's stupid joke on self conscious teen girls.

For now you should focus on encouraging her to be more physically active, not on getting her to eat less. Just natural things like walking more, sitting less, riding a bike, helping in the garden or whatever. And she'll have much more success if the whole family lives this way. It's very difficult to try to do some 'exercise' regime alone.

Do not make her self conscious about this, don't make it about her. Just encourage a life-style change for the whole family.

You might check to see if she's eating when she's bored. But that's the only thing about her food that I'd focus on for now.


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## karne (Jul 6, 2005)

My dd is a year younger, but otherwise I too see an enormous appetite. FWIW, she looks slim, but is solidly built and tall, AND, I believe that she's going through a growth spurt. I try not to interject myself too much in this arena because I can see already some of the peer pressure to look thin or be thin. I do cut off sweets at a certain point, but I don't forbid them, and what I have in the house is 90% healthy and the rest might be considered treats. We all need treats sometimes! Where I do see a problem is how quickly my dd eats-she inhales her food and then wants more, so I do try to have us eat at a more leaisurely pace.


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## latinmom (Nov 20, 2001)

My dd did precisely this at the same age. Within 2-3 years, it was all gone, due to her major growth spurt and settling into adolesence. Do you think this might be it? We paid attention, but didn't make a big deal out of it. We were trying to be careful not to give her hangups about the weight. Good luck!


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## JellyMomma (May 16, 2008)

Thanks everyone for the replies. No, I definitely don't want her to develop an eating disorder but I also don't want her to become obese, which is statistically much more likely. I am trying to work on the exercise part. I've been doing a lot of walking myself but it's like pulling teeth to get her to come with me. She gets really moody and won't talk while we're walking. She loves the beach so we'll be there a lot once it gets warmer; and she's starting a 6 week hip hop dance class in a few weeks. If she likes that I'll try to find a dance studio that offers ongoing classes.

I'm also going to get out my bike so we can ride together. And I'm going to join a gym with a outdoor pool/water park and lots of classes and activities for kids.

Looking back, I can see that she's been much more sedentary this winter; and combined with the increase in appetite has caused the weight gain. I feel bad that I wasn't more aware of this until recently.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *latinmom* 
My dd did precisely this at the same age. Within 2-3 years, it was all gone, due to her major growth spurt and settling into adolesence. Do you think this might be it? We paid attention, but didn't make a big deal out of it. We were trying to be careful not to give her hangups about the weight. Good luck!

That worries me, too because it seems that she's not growing anymore. Her big growth spurt happened at 9-10 and seems to have stopped at 5 ft. Does anyone know how much growth typically happens after a girl gets her period?

I'm sure she'll slim down over the summer once she gets more active and we're eating more whole foods. I'm glad I made the Drs. appt., though just to get everything checked out. Thanks, everyone : )


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## robin4kids (Jan 20, 2004)

My dd has not hit puberty yet, but I too worry about her. My kids are very tall for their age. My 13 y/o ds is over 5'4 and who knows what he weights. I was very worried about him, because he we so big. He was not fat, or even chunky, but he was not thin either. About 3 years ago we got him involved in swimming. We swims 4 times a week, 8 months of the year. He has thinned out. He hit puberty WAY before his friends. I think it is important to teach kids that their bodies are changing and so they may need to cut back on their diet. They may need to eat 2 apples instead of a PB&j and they may need to get involved in a more physical activity.

Really it is hard to believe that they will thin out as they grow, but it happens. This is not to say that you should not help your dd learn to be more careful with how much she eats. I tell the kids that they can have one big snack after school then nothing till dinner. They are used to it and don't seem to feel deprived.
Good luck. I feel for you. I hate dieting. I am not fat, but not thin either. I don't want my dd to worry about her body, but I don't want her to be really over weight. So hard!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JellyMomma* 
That worries me, too because it seems that she's not growing anymore. Her big growth spurt happened at 9-10 and seems to have stopped at 5 ft. Does anyone know how much growth typically happens after a girl gets her period?

When I got my period, I was about 5'1". I grew another 4" over the next couple of years, and stopped at my current height of 5'5".


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## nd_deadhead (Sep 22, 2005)

I don't have girls, but I do come from a family that struggles with weight (I was overweight as a kid). I totally understand where you're coming from - you want your dd to have healthy eating habvits now that will keep her from struggling with her weight her whole life.

My sons are identical twins, and if we didn't have the other to compare to, we probably would not have noticed that J, at age 9 or 10, was developing a spare tire (just like his Dad).

So we started talking about our eating habits. J would take 3 helpings of whatever we had for supper, where his brotehr would take two. I asked J if his tummy wanted more food, or his mouth, and when he stopped to think about it, he usually decided it was his mouth, and he cut back on his portions on his own. We also encourage both boys to take moderately-sized portions - they can always have seconds.

You don't want your dd eating out of habit - you want her to make sure she is truly hungry before she takes that second yogurt.

I do know a young woman (I've known her since she was a little girl) who physically could not feel when she was hungry or full. In her case, it was a struggle to get her to eat before her blood sugar dropped and she got really cranky. She learned to eat on a schedule, rather than listen to her body (which most of the rest of us can do). But maybe your dd needs to learn to read her body's signals.

Encouraging her to drink more water might cut down on her feelings of hunger after school (I know my kids never got enough to drink in school).

Best wishes to you. Teaching our kids healthy eating habits is truly a life-long gift.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
When I got my period, I was about 5'1". I grew another 4" over the next couple of years, and stopped at my current height of 5'5".

This is exactly true for me as well.

At the beginninng of that time I weighed 107. And that was already having put on an ample amount of weight in the previous two years. At the end? 135 lbs. So I put on over 20 lbs from the end of 7th grade til the beginning of 9th--- so like 15 months. By 11th grade I was 121 lbs. I think the rapid weight gain is fairly normal. My DD is in 5th grade and still only like 73 lbs and taller than I was at her age, so if she is going to be anywhere near 100 lbs in junior high, I know she is going to start putting on significant weight. It will definately be wierd to see my skinny baby fill out, but I also expect it.

Please, please be careful what you say to her. My mom really harped on me about how I was getting "fat" and it was so damaging to me.


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## JellyMomma (May 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *robin4kids* 
My dd has not hit puberty yet, but I too worry about her. My kids are very tall for their age. My 13 y/o ds is over 5'4 and who knows what he weights. I was very worried about him, because he we so big. He was not fat, or even chunky, but he was not thin either. About 3 years ago we got him involved in swimming. We swims 4 times a week, 8 months of the year. He has thinned out. He hit puberty WAY before his friends. I think it is important to teach kids that their bodies are changing and so they may need to cut back on their diet. They may need to eat 2 apples instead of a PB&j and they may need to get involved in a more physical activity.

Very good advice--I've been buying more fruit and, even though she says she doesn't like it, I've been finding banana peels in the trash can. She's hearing a lot about nutrition in health class and I think some of it's getting through. Unfortunately some of the misinformation is getting through, too. She told me that we should be eating margerine instead of butter









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
When I got my period, I was about 5'1". I grew another 4" over the next couple of years, and stopped at my current height of 5'5".

That's very good to hear--not that there's anything wrong with being 5 ft tall but it's already a struggle to find pants that are short enough.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nd_deadhead* 
I don't have girls, but I do come from a family that struggles with weight (I was overweight as a kid). I totally understand where you're coming from - you want your dd to have healthy eating habvits now that will keep her from struggling with her weight her whole life.

My sons are identical twins, and if we didn't have the other to compare to, we probably would not have noticed that J, at age 9 or 10, was developing a spare tire (just like his Dad).

So we started talking about our eating habits. J would take 3 helpings of whatever we had for supper, where his brotehr would take two. I asked J if his tummy wanted more food, or his mouth, and when he stopped to think about it, he usually decided it was his mouth, and he cut back on his portions on his own. We also encourage both boys to take moderately-sized portions - they can always have seconds.

You don't want your dd eating out of habit - you want her to make sure she is truly hungry before she takes that second yogurt.

Encouraging her to drink more water might cut down on her feelings of hunger after school (I know my kids never got enough to drink in school).

Best wishes to you. Teaching our kids healthy eating habits is truly a life-long gift.

There's such a fine line between teaching good eating habits and making them feel bad about their bodies, isn't there? I sounds like you're doing a great job.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
This is exactly true for me as well.

At the beginninng of that time I weighed 107. And that was already having put on an ample amount of weight in the previous two years. At the end? 135 lbs. So I put on over 20 lbs from the end of 7th grade til the beginning of 9th--- so like 15 months. By 11th grade I was 121 lbs. I think the rapid weight gain is fairly normal. Please, please be careful what you say to her. My mom really harped on me about how I was getting "fat" and it was so damaging to me.

That's good to hear--I guess some weight gain is normal--unfortunatly it coincided with the winter months and more computer usage than normal. I will be very careful not to "shame" her about her weight. For now I will emphasize the exercise -- I try to put the "let's spend some time together" spin on it when I mention going for a bike ride or a walk. I can't wait for the warm weather when we can be outside a lot.

Thanks everyone for your advice. It really makes me feel better.....


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Is she getting "fat" or has she suddenly grown a lot in her breasts and hips? 30 lbs in one year does sound excessive, but it's possible she was slightly underweight before and is now closer to a healthy weight FOR HER. She also might be due for a growth spurt. Really, to be 120 lbs and 5' tall DOES sound like a healthy weight for a woman (and I'm assuming she effectively has a woman's body right now.)

I would focus on teaching her about healthy eating- not because of weight issues but focus on healthy foods that give her body the fuel it needs to grow and have energy.


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## PikkuMyy (Mar 26, 2004)

Don't forget that a "hormonal imbalance" is normal for a child starting to go through puberty. When this happens, kids start to have a much larger appetite than they did before.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JellyMomma* 
I am trying to work on the exercise part. I've been doing a lot of walking myself but it's like pulling teeth to get her to come with me. She gets really moody and won't talk while we're walking.

Totally OT, but is there a reason you want her to talk while out on a walk? I mean I guess I understand the want for conversation, but some people just don't like to talk when they are going for a walk just because.


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## chiromamma (Feb 24, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Totally OT, but is there a reason you want her to talk while out on a walk? I mean I guess I understand the want for conversation, but some people just don't like to talk when they are going for a walk just because.

Not OT. I finally learned this lesson. It felt intrusive to my DD when I'd invite her on a walk and force conversation. Companionable silence is really nice!


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## chiromamma (Feb 24, 2003)

I think the problem of juvenile obesity is due more to inactivity than overeating. Sports are so good for any kid's self image and confidence...especially girls. Does your DD participate in sports? When my DD went through this kind of growth and bemoaned her "fat" body, I just insisted she find a sport to engage in. She's nonstop now....Kung Fu, Tai Chi, skiing, running. She marvels at her body's power.
If you model good eating and exercise habits at home and engage her in regular, vigorous activity, her body should be able to find it's healthy weight.


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## latinmom (Nov 20, 2001)

For what its worth, DD got her growth spurt a good year or two after her period started. So did I. And, I agree, inactivity in that age group is a big factor.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiromamma* 
I think the problem of juvenile obesity is due more to inactivity than overeating.

I do think this is true. In the 70s, we walked to school. We walked to the store. We played outside on our free time.

We didn't have anything to do if we didn't get up and go do it. Sure, Gilligan's island reruns were on after school, but you eat a sandwich, watch a 30 minute rerun, then go outside again.

My daughter had dance, and music. I had no idea marching band could be so exhausting.. but, talk about a great workout! There is no way you could be chubby on the marching band. They work their tails off.

But, she hated sports. All sports. She's never been much of an organized sport kind of person. Dance was about the most organization she could stand.

OP.. I totally understand why you are worried! I don't have any good ideas, but I get why you feel this way. Especially if you had issues with your own weight. Sometimes the things that made us unhappy as a child make us even more unhappy when our kids go through it.


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## JellyMomma (May 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiromamma* 
Not OT. I finally learned this lesson. It felt intrusive to my DD when I'd invite her on a walk and force conversation. Companionable silence is really nice!

She's normally a chatter box and only gets moody and silent when I mention the walk. I see your point....what I meant was that she gives me the silent treatment for making her walk, so I've given up on that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I do think this is true. In the 70s, we walked to school. We walked to the store. We played outside on our free time.

We didn't have anything to do if we didn't get up and go do it. Sure, Gilligan's island reruns were on after school, but you eat a sandwich, watch a 30 minute rerun, then go outside again.

My daughter had dance, and music.
But, she hated sports. All sports. She's never been much of an organized sport kind of person. Dance was about the most organization she could stand.

OP.. I totally understand why you are worried! I don't have any good ideas, but I get why you feel this way. Especially if you had issues with your own weight. Sometimes the things that made us unhappy as a child make us even more unhappy when our kids go through it.

Yes, exactly....I know it's because she's so inactive--she HATES sports--but she does like to dance so I'm hoping the upcoming dance class will spark her interest. She's tried every kind of sport out there and hated them all.

I got her medical records the other day. Two months before she turned 10 she weighed 68 lbs. In 18 months she gained almost 50 lbs. Of course some of that was from normal growth. I did notice at a school event the other night....that all the girls with breast development also had the pot belly so I'm not quite so worried. I just have to encourage healthier eating, less snacking and more "fun" exercise.

thanks everyone for the responses!


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Well, this brings up terrible memories for me. When I was 11 and became a woman, as my mom called getting my first period, I gained weight (I think I was 5 foot 2 inches) and reached 100 pounds and my mom freaked. She told me I could only snack on apples or celery, told me I had to exercise, told me she only weighed 120 pounds when she was 20 years old, and







.







:

If only she'd let me eat more meat! or protein, my endless starving hunger would have been abated. My muscles were growing, my bones were growing, and I NEEDED protein and calcium, not some stupid fruit.







We didn't ever have junk food in the house, but we also were poor so perceived excessive food consumption was seen as detrimental to the whole family.

I suggest providing high protein meals, even a protein powder drink for between meal snacks, with calcium, probiotics or any other supplement you think might help. Puberty PLUS growing is a lot for a body to undertake. I'd avoid the empty carbs, but keep providing whole grains.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chiromamma* 
I think the problem of juvenile obesity is due more to inactivity than overeating. Sports are so good for any kid's self image and confidence...especially girls.

This is true. I rode my bike for fun, miles upon miles. I participated in the swim team, track and marching band. If it weren't for the constant activity, I would likely have been fatter than I was. I still reached 170 pounds by the time I graduated from high school. I think the team sports are great, but more protein in my diet would have made a huge difference for me during my teen years.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I've been a girl guide leader for years & a LOT of girls in that 9-12 age range get quite chubby right before their big growth spurt. 5' doesn't seem very tall - but I do not know the genetics involved. Does it seem likely this could be her adult height? If not then you will likely see that extra weight stretch out into a few inches & real body transformation.

Great to work on healthy habits but at this age it might be prudent to wait & see a little before getting overly concerned.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
I do think this is true. In the 70s, we walked to school. We walked to the store. We played outside on our free time.

We didn't have anything to do if we didn't get up and go do it. Sure, Gilligan's island reruns were on after school, but you eat a sandwich, watch a 30 minute rerun, then go outside again.

My daughter had dance, and music. *I had no idea marching band could be so exhausting.. but, talk about a great workout! There is no way you could be chubby on the marching band. They work their tails off.*

But, she hated sports. All sports. She's never been much of an organized sport kind of person. Dance was about the most organization she could stand.

OP.. I totally understand why you are worried! I don't have any good ideas, but I get why you feel this way. Especially if you had issues with your own weight. Sometimes the things that made us unhappy as a child make us even more unhappy when our kids go through it.

Yay! Dd is joining marching band next year!


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
When I got my period, I was about 5'1". I grew another 4" over the next couple of years, and stopped at my current height of 5'5".

My sister grew 7" after she got her period at age 12, leveling off at 5'10"!

I had a bunch of female friends who put on 20, 30, 40 lbs in a year or two during puberty. I think it is quite normal, and it usually does level off. But it's something that's very hard for young girls to go through! Even if their parents have a loving, supportive and non-judgmental attitude, there is constant assault from media, and kids at school are obsessed with bodies and free with comments.

Even the slim teen and pre-teen girls get picked on for their 'flab' or 'pot-belly' (and the really skinny ones get teased for being flat-chested or a bag of bones). My youngest sister is just shy of being underweight and she has still gotten nasty remarks from girls, implying she is fat.


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## LisainCalifornia (May 29, 2002)

My daughter is 12 and we are going through the same thing with her. She use to be quite slim (size 2 jeans), and in just this school year she has gained almost 20 pounds. She use to not each much, but now seems so hungry. If I don't have cookies around, she will eat a half a loaf of bread instead, or many torillas. She now weighs 124--and at the beginning of the year she was around 104. We had to buy new jeans a few times because she could no longer fit into her clothes.

So far I haven't said much about it--I only talk to her about it when she brings it up. I try to talk in general terms about health and feeding our body healthfully and exercising, but I don't think she absorbs much of it. I admit I do worry about it too. She says that some kids tease her at school.

I doubt your daughter has a hormone imbalance--it is probably just a shift in puberty and her eating habits plus inactivity--which is all common at this age.


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cherie2* 
Please try not to get too worried. Puberty does a lot of funny things and her weight can fluctuate between growth spurts. It is a good idea to get her checked out because she could have a thyroid imbalance or something like that. But the worst thing you could do is give her the impression that "something is wrong" at her age she could develop an eating disorder if she thinks it is such a big deal.

I agree. My son started putting on a lot of weight around the age of 11. Once he turned 13 he had a major growth spurt in height and is taller than me now and much thinner, and it's only been a year later. So give it time. Your DD will probably start to thin out over time as she gets closer to being a teen.

I would be careful about leading her to believe that something may be "wrong" if she has gained so much in so little time. I agree that it may lead her in to an eating disorder. I had a problem with that as a teenager myself and remember all too well how it felt to feel "fat" around other girls or my family when I would starve myself and weighed less than 70 lbs until I was 19. Your DD could easily move in that direction and become underweight one day.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LisainCalifornia* 
If I don't have cookies around, she will eat a half a loaf of bread instead, or many torillas.


I used to scarf down the carbs when I'd come home between school and track because I was STARVING and there was nothing else readily available to just grab, eat, and walk back to school. Perhaps you can make more protein rich foods available. If there had been protein shakes around when I was a teen, I am certain I would have drank those and felt so much better and less hungry.


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

I have an acquaintance whose daughter had similar symptoms and it turned out she had a tumor.


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## SandyMom (Mar 26, 2009)

OP - your dd sounds like ME when I was her age!
A lot of it is genetics I think.
I gained 30 lbs in one year at that age and then 6 mos later had a growth spurt and shot up -and it was gone. (Now I'm 5'9" and very thin despite eating like a lumberjack!)

Puberty makes ppl hungry!!!!
Adequate water is SO VITAL IMO. It helps stave off false hunger feelings, it's needed for healthy skin and good energy and every major body system. Helps flush out all those excess hormones.

Also, some type of liver support, like dandelion or milk thistle is useful as well.

I make sure my 12 yo gets lots of healthy fats also. She loves cashews - which are super high in iron so I keep those around for her.

And foods high in iodine are terrific as well.


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## JellyMomma (May 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Well, this brings up terrible memories for me. When I was 11 and became a woman, as my mom called getting my first period, I gained weight (I think I was 5 foot 2 inches) and reached 100 pounds and my mom freaked. .

That's awful....I definitely don't want dd to know that I'm so concerned. It helps that I've been exercising and eating healthier lately. She knows that I'm trying to bring my blood pressure down and avoid the diabetes that runs in my family--so that makes it easier for me to bring up healthy eating without making her feel like I'm picking on her.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lifeguard* 
I've been a girl guide leader for years & a LOT of girls in that 9-12 age range get quite chubby right before their big growth spurt. 5' doesn't seem very tall - but I do not know the genetics involved. Does it seem likely this could be her adult height?

I'm noticing that too. Many of her friends have gained that little pot belly in recent months. She's always been on the short side--usually the shortest girl in the class so I don't know how much taller she'll get. According to the charts you use to calculate adult height (using mother and father's height) she'll be 5'3" or 5'4". I'm glad to hear people say that another growth spurt usually happens after menses begins.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhubarbarin* 
My sister grew 7" after she got her period at age 12, leveling off at 5'10"!


Quote:


Originally Posted by *LisainCalifornia* 
My daughter is 12 and we are going through the same thing with her. She use to be quite slim (size 2 jeans), and in just this school year she has gained almost 20 pounds. She use to not each much, but now seems so hungry. If I don't have cookies around, she will eat a half a loaf of bread instead, or many torillas. I doubt your daughter has a hormone imbalance--it is probably just a shift in puberty and her eating habits plus inactivity--which is all common at this age.

Yes, it's the carb cravings that worry me. I know (from years and years of experience) that carb cravings and the resulting weight gain can cause excess estrogen which causes carb cravings--and you get a vicious cycle that, for me, resulted in insulin resistance. I am really pushing a low carb diet, but I'm trying to be sneaky about it. I'm buying organic and grass fed meats, local organic eggs, and low-carb bread and the few veggies that she likes. When I give her carbs, like small servings of whole wheat pasta, I combine it with a healthy protein to prevent a surge in blood sugar. It seems to be helping as she hasn't been as ravenous lately.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *darcytrue* 
I agree. My son started putting on a lot of weight around the age of 11. Once he turned 13 he had a major growth spurt in height and is taller than me now and much thinner, and it's only been a year later. So give it time. Your DD will probably start to thin out over time as she gets closer to being a teen.

I would be careful about leading her to believe that something may be "wrong" if she has gained so much in so little time.

That's a good point. I'm keeping the Drs. appointment but I'll just emphasize that it's a regular checkup. She's due for one anyway and I've been wanting to switch her Dr. If anything is said about her weight it will come from the Dr. --who is wonderful and who I trust completely.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I used to scarf down the carbs when I'd come home between school and track because I was STARVING and there was nothing else readily available to just grab, eat, and walk back to school. Perhaps you can make more protein rich foods available. If there had been protein shakes around when I was a teen, I am certain I would have drank those and felt so much better and less hungry.

Yes, you are so right. I realized that there just wasn't a lot of healthy snack foods in our house. I've been buying the all natural chicken sausage that she likes and cutting up in the fridge for easy snacking. I also keep cheese sticks, blueberries, strawberries, and low carb brownies on hand. I found a great brownie recipe made with almond meal, stevia and cocoa.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marybethorama* 
I have an acquaintance whose daughter had similar symptoms and it turned out she had a tumor.

Very scary--I'll feel better once she sees the Dr. I really do feel better, though, after hearing that the weight gain is very common. Most of her close friends show NO signs of puberty and are thin as rails. But when I saw some of the other kids at school I noticed the same shape as dd.


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## JellyMomma (May 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandyMom* 
OP - your dd sounds like ME when I was her age!
A lot of it is genetics I think.
I gained 30 lbs in one year at that age and then 6 mos later had a growth spurt and shot up -and it was gone. (Now I'm 5'9" and very thin despite eating like a lumberjack!)

Puberty makes ppl hungry!!!!
Adequate water is SO VITAL IMO. It helps stave off false hunger feelings, it's needed for healthy skin and good energy and every major body system. Helps flush out all those excess hormones.

Also, some type of liver support, like dandelion or milk thistle is useful as well.

I make sure my 12 yo gets lots of healthy fats also. She loves cashews - which are super high in iron so I keep those around for her.

And foods high in iodine are terrific as well.

Thanks, SandyMom--I haven't been pushing the water but I should. dd loves water and I think she does forget to drink sometimes.

Funny you should mention the milk thistle. I just started giving it to dd. I give her Vit C, D, chromium and milk thistle. I've run out of fish oil and she'll only take the capsules. I need to get to the health food store to pick up more.

I wish dd would eat nuts but she says she doesn't like them. I have been cooking with almond meal, though.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JellyMomma* 
I'm glad to hear people say that another growth spurt usually happens after menses begins.

I had my first menses a couple months after I turned 11. I had my greatest growth spurt between the ages of 12 and 14. I reached my adult height (5 foot, 5 and 3/4 inches) when I was 14.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JellyMomma* 
Yes, you are so right. I realized that there just wasn't a lot of healthy snack foods in our house. I've been buying the all natural chicken sausage that she likes and cutting up in the fridge for easy snacking. I also keep cheese sticks, blueberries, strawberries, and low carb brownies on hand. I found a great brownie recipe made with almond meal, stevia and cocoa.I am really pushing a low carb diet, but I'm trying to be sneaky about it. I'm buying organic and grass fed meats, local organic eggs, and low-carb bread and the few veggies that she likes. When I give her carbs, like small servings of whole wheat pasta, I combine it with a healthy protein to prevent a surge in blood sugar. It seems to be helping as she hasn't been as ravenous lately.

That sounds like an excellent plan.







Have you considered adding protein/calcium drinks for snacks?


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

I realize now why I'm so stuck on not only the protein, but also the calcium. I was taught, when I was a young adult, that calcium rich diets are important for bone development until your early 20's, and is especially important beginning at the onset of menses.


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## SandyMom (Mar 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
I realize now why I'm so stuck on not only the protein, but also the calcium. I was taught, when I was a young adult, that calcium rich diets are important for bone development until your early 20's, and is especially important beginning at the onset of menses.

Absolutely!








Both my girls drink nettle infusions regularly. Quite high in calcium that's easy to absorb and the clorophyl can't hurt!


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## leafwood (Jun 15, 2004)

This post could have been about me as a child. My parents did their best, but it was mishandled and I struggled with body image issues for a big portion of my life. My advice would be to provide more fresh fruit, veggies, lower calorie foods (homemade soups, puffed grain cereals with low-fat milk, plain yog w/ fruit and a drizzle of honey as opposed to the sweetened kind), move WITH her while connecting with her (do a workout DVD together, walk, park the car farther away when you go out, have a "family track competition" where you each log laps at the local track and chart it together, move the coffee table and dance for fun), and finally....see if she is really hungry or just bored. Sometimes feeling the need to eat is not an accurate representation of hunger. Not saying you should restrict her intake, but I'm wondering if she is engrossed in another activity if she'd be less focused on eating large quantities.


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## Grace and Granola (Oct 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Well, this brings up terrible memories for me. When I was 11 and became a woman, as my mom called getting my first period, I gained weight (I think I was 5 foot 2 inches) and reached 100 pounds and my mom freaked. She told me I could only snack on apples or celery, told me I had to exercise, told me she only weighed 120 pounds when she was 20 years old, and







.







:


I would also like to chime in as a young woman who gained weight right around age 11-12. I can see in my school pictures that there was a shift. I was not heavy as a child, but as soon as I put on some weight, and yes, it was noticeable, my grandmother swooped down on me, and gave me all her "wisdom" on how to lose weight. It was at the height of the "fat-free" craze, and she told me to eat as much as i wanted to of fat free foods like pasta, potatoes, bread, pretzels, etc. (thanks grandma!) But apart from the bad diet advice, it totally changed my world as far as my body image and self esteem. I continued to gain weight because of her poor advice and i have had an unhealthy relationship with food ever since. I am 33 years old and obese. I view my value and worth as a direct reflection of my physical appearance. I am afraid of food. I often wonder what I would have turned out like if she would have just left me alone and let me develop and grow as a young girl should.

Help your daughter make smart choices by being a good example for her. Give her advice if SHE asks for it. After reading all of the replies to your post, my heart is breaking for myself, because it seems as though I was going through something that was very normal for a 12 yr old young woman.


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## acegmom (May 30, 2005)

You have about 2 years from the onset of menses to the end of the growth cycle in girls.

Apparently, I was like your daughter -- I left 7th grade as a girl and started 8th grade as a woman (gained 25 pounds and grew 2-3 inches. Over the summer!)

My oldest was very "by the book." Started at 13, went through the grow "out" then "in" (taller) cycle until now at 19, she and I are the same height (5' 5 1/2.) (If only I could wear her size in clothes!







)

My second daughter, I thought she was going to be the tallest. She was quite developed by 11 (6th grade - she started her cycle before she turned 12 also.) I kept waiting for her to grow up and out of her weight. Surprisingly -- she didn't grow any taller, but she LOST weight. She's about 5'3" and weighs 120. with a 20" waist. She is very petite and likely will end up being the smallest in the family. She looks back on her 6th grade pictures and declares herself "chubby." Not anymore. Tragically (for her mommy, at least) she is built like lingerie model...









My baby is 11. Wears a size 8 shoe (I wear a 10, she has outgrown both sisters.) She has started to develop a bit, and has the cutest little figure (wears a "0" in junior sizes.) She worries that she is "fat" because she is quite a bit further along than many of the other girls in her class. Hasn't started her cycle yet, surprisingly.

What I mean to say after all of this is give her time. She has time to grow. And personally, I think dance is one of the best activities you can get her involved with. All 3 of my girls are dancers, and apart from the "ballet" standard of size (and I would not have anything to do with a studio that had weight/size requirements) SIZE doesn't matter. It's about having fun, and moving to the music, and giving it your "all." Plus, dance can be lifelong, and leads itself into pilates, yoga, etc -- just another extension of being comfortable in your own body.

Good luck -- you are a great mom to look out for your daughter's well being. And the ravenous hunger -- it happens (I have a 14 yo son also.) But like when they were picky toddlers, all we are responsible for is offering the right choices. If most of what there is to choose from is healthy, then they should feel free to eat when they are hungry.

Jill H.

(lucky mom to Amelia 19!, Camille 16, Evan 14!, and Gracie 11)


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heatherb917* 
After reading all of the replies to your post, my heart is breaking for myself, because it seems as though I was going through something that was very normal for a 12 yr old young woman.









I'm so sorry.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I'm reading a very interesting book called "Weight Watchers Family Power: 5 Simple Rules for a Healthy Weight Family"

I would highly recommend it - it takes a very balanced approach and one of the things that it stresses is that your goal is to help her grow into her weight.

The 5 simple rules are:
1. Focus on whole, nutritious foods.
2. Include treats.
3. Keep screen time to less than 2 hours a day.
4. Try to be active one hour a day.
5. The rules apply to everyone in the house.

So, the key for her is probably to include some ready-to-eat whole foods that have protein in them, and to get some exercise that she likes. What about something like Wii Fit? Could you get dog that needs walking (just kidding)?

The other thing that the book stresses is that it's really important for kids (of all ages) to see YOU following the rules. So even if she doesn't want to go for a walk, you can go. Invite her, but don't press it. "I'm going for a walk, you want to come?" Or see if you can do a dance tape at home, or something like that. Is there an individual sport she'd like? Rock climbing? Karate? Pilates?


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## Grace and Granola (Oct 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 







I'm so sorry.

Thanks for the hug, Journeymom! I didn't mean to go on about myself, I just want to impress upon all the moms of teen daughters how fragile the self esteem of young girls can be. What you say to them can impact them in important ways, both for good and bad. And 20 yrs ago weight wasn't even as much of an issue as it is today in our society.


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

There truly is a wide range of normal.

I was 89 lbs at 5'3" for my first menses at age 14, grew 2 more inches the next couple years while gaining only 5-6 more pounds, then stabilized until last year when I finally gained a little weight (now I'm 105 at 5'5'', and nearly 24 years old). I still have the figure of a 12-year-old and I would prefer to look like a woman!

I think it's much more important that she is allowed to eat when she is hungry, and she learns to feel acceptance (and hopefully love) for her changing body. Contrary to what the media tells us there are many worse things for your health than quick weight gain, or weighing more than you should by the BMI scale. Diagnosed eating disorders may not be epidemic but disordered, unhealthy eating habits are everywhere.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhubarbarin* 
Diagnosed eating disorders may not be epidemic but disordered, unhealthy eating habits are everywhere.


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JellyMomma* 
That's a good point. I'm keeping the Drs. appointment but I'll just emphasize that it's a regular checkup. She's due for one anyway and I've been wanting to switch her Dr. If anything is said about her weight it will come from the Dr. --who is wonderful and who I trust completely.

That's great. But remember that even if the doctor tells your child to do something to help her weight that you as a parent need to make sure she follows through with it.







My mom took me to my pediatrician at 16 and he put me on iron pills like that was going to help me suddenly gain weight, lol. I never took them and just threw them in the trash each day and continued to exercise and not eat. My mom never noticed. She didn't even care.


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhubarbarin* 
I still have the figure of a 12-year-old and I would prefer to look like a woman!

ditto that. I'm over 40 and only 4'11 and under 100 lbs. when not pregnant.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

You said she's home alone in the afternoons/evenings? Maybe she's lonely? I used to eat a ton because I would come home frequently to an empty house and just wanted to talk to someone.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

I didn't grow at all after my period started. I'm 5'0". So she might not grow anymore... but jeez, 120 lbs at 5'0" isn't a ridiculous weight.


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

I think the OP is more concerned because the gain was very sudden and extreme, and her daughter seems so hungry all the time.


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