# family bed not working for me...need suggestions



## kerc (May 9, 2002)

dh and I have a full sized bed. Our couch is not long enough for one of us to sleep on and the house is simply not big enough for another bed.

dd slept GREAT in the pack and play for the first three weeks. Then we entered a stage where I couldn't put her down for a second without crying. Ultimately I ended up falling asleep with her on my breast and waking up hours later with dd in the bed.
at that point I thought, there's not enough room for me, but crappy sleeping for 8 or so hours is better than no sleep for us.
But now dd is 8 weeks, getting bigger and slowly one of us (dh or myself) will end up with half our body hanging off the bed in an effort to make room for the 3 of us.

I initially thought, ok we can try some form of sidecar arrangement. but the problem is that dd won't sleep longer than 15 minutes on her own, without either one of us touching her or in the swing. She does occasionally go down ok in the car seat. But that's rare.

Does anyone have suggestions? I'm thinking we should maybe just sleep her in the swing, and then slowly ween her off the motion.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I sympathize with the crowded sleeping arrangements. When DD was only 2.5 months old, we went from a king to a full size bed. She had to sleep between us, and I didn't sleep well at all b/c there was so little room (she slept great though, lol). Fortunately it was just temporary so we just dealt with it.

Is there any way that you can get a larger bed? That is the best investment you can make if you plan to be a cosleeping family. Or what about an inflatable bed that can be put away during the day?

Your observation that your baby won't sleep unless by your side is a common one and very natural. Babies are designed that way and I suspect that your attempts to "wean her from the motion" of the swing will bring both of you much frustration and angst.

good luck!


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## MamaMae (Nov 26, 2001)

Is it possible to squeeze a twin next to the full? Or upgrage to a queen?

We started out in a full, and as soon as it got too crowded, we put the bed on the floor (off the frame), with a crib mattress next to it (we didn't have room at the time for anything bigger in that room!).

Could you deal with a mattress on the floor? That way you could create an extension of your bed with as much or as little space as you have...putting layers of blankets right on the floor next to the bed.

I hope you figure it out...I definitely agree that it's worth it for all of you to find a way to share the bed somehow. Good luck!


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## Envision (Dec 6, 2002)

Hi!
We had/have a queen size but I have to sleep with my back to the middle of the bed so that meant, my back to new born baby...ah no...
So my mom had an old doll basinette (made of hard wood and it looks so strong...yet is so small, I love it!!) , she made little sheets and blankets and ds slept right beside me.
I was even able to sleep with my hand on him if I wanted because the basinette was a bit lower then our bed...so I could sleep in my natural position and still be in constant contact with him if needed.
He eventually graduated to a bigger basinette at the end of the bed and then to a crib at the end of the bed...

I would find the best alternative for the moment and just work at making it a situation you want...both parents need sleep!!

Oils


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## kerc (May 9, 2002)

upgrading to a larger bed would be a dream come true...but no its not an option right now. basically we have a tiny little house and a full size is all that will fit in the bedroom. We spent last week at the inlaws and slept in a queen. i slept better than i had in MONTHS.

I've tried laying in bed, her in the basinette and me with my arms all over her. I've tried multiple versions with this. short of laying down in the crib with her -- i've tried a ton of ways.

We are going to try raising our bed a little higher so that when i have my arm across her in her basinette my arms won't fall asleep. That's the project for the afternoon.


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## BattleAxe (Apr 15, 2002)

my son (now 7 months) didn't sleep well with us *or* alone his first few weeks, so I started using a basket next to the bed, and after a few nights of transition (him fussing, me comforting him, etc.) he seemed to gain confidence that I was still right there for him, and he started sleeping well. The transition was kind of hard but really worth it because now he sleeps great -- still next to the bed, in his pack-and-play bassinet (we don't have room for a crib or other bed at the moment). Good luck, mama, and happy sleeping!


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## MaWhit (Jan 5, 2002)

Maybe you could ditch the nightstands to make more room... Or put the beds in the living room. Or get a bigger place.


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## WriterMama (Mar 27, 2002)

I'm not sure if it's the width or length of your room (or both) that won't accomodate a bigger bed, but would a futon work? One that you put up like a couch during the day, but lay our at night? I've seen some that are pretty inexpensive.

Good luck! We had to temporarily do the full-size bed thing and it was NO fun. In fact, our current queen is getting cramped since our 2 year old is so big!

I hope things work out


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## Alegria (Jul 21, 2002)

we're also cramped with a two year old but now we got one of those tiny toddler beds against the wall and our bed against that. I put some of her little wooden toy blocks under the legs so it almost matches our bed hight. worked like a charm.

good luck finding a solution


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## guest^ (Oct 29, 2002)

We also put our futon mattress on the floor with a crib mattress next to it when dd was a baby. It was great 'cuz it gave us more room and we didn't worry about her falling off when she slept right next to me....which was all the time!LOL!

I don't think I would feel comfortable having a baby sleeping in a swing at night. All baby equipment shoul be used with supervision....swings,highchairs,etc...JMHO.

mamapoppins


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## kerc (May 9, 2002)

Thanks for all the ideas --

I agree on the lack of supervision in a swing which is the reason why I haven't tried it.

A bigger house is just not an option. We bought two years ago and didn't plan on having kids in this place. Hence the lack of space issue.

putting the mattress on the floor is an issue because we have an 80 lb golden retriever. Pre baby we used to occassionally let him cuddle with us in bed -- I'm afraid he will think it is fair game. Ditto on the extra mattress, crib, mattress, etc ideas.

we have raised our bed about 2 inches, making it a bit more comfortable to rest my arm on the baby in the bassinet next to the bed. We are trying to start her out on her own and then bringing her into the bed when I feed her in the middle of the night. So far it has been a good compromise -- I'm getting a bit more sleep. I think we will have to work on getting her totally out of the bed, especially as she grows. But that can come with time.


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## madison (Nov 20, 2001)

This may sound weird, but how about getting one of those beds that has a twin bed on top and a full below?

Then DH could sleep above and you and the babe could sleep below AND you would still be using the same amount of space AND getting more room per person AND you could use the same full size mattress. Ikea has some that aren't too expensive and seem sturdy enough, and so would any bunk bed store.

Then when your kid gets older and is in his/her own room, they can "bunk" in with mom & dad (on the top bunk) conveniently enough (or use it for storage). Then you could ditch the crib idea all together.


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## MaWhit (Jan 5, 2002)

Genius, Madison!


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