# Stay-at-Home Moms: when are you planning to re-enter the work force?



## NaturalMamma (Nov 22, 2001)

I'm wondering what other SAHMs are planning to do as their toddler gets older. I'm considering homeschooling so I may stay at home w/my child. If I don't HS, I want to transition back into the workforce slowly b/c I don't want our household to become harried and stressful. Even with children in school full-time I see a lot of chaotic families b/c of both parents working demanding full-time jobs. I don't want that lifestyle and am curious how other SAHMs feel about this.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I feel my job as a parent doesn't end once my child reaches school age. I chose to HS and will stay home until she is an adult.
I feel that the school age years are almost more important than the infant and toddler ones. So much goes on during those after school hours. I don't want my dd to be a latch key kid that comes home to an empty house.


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## Joi (Sep 24, 2002)

We will also be Homeschooling. When and if she chooses to go to public school I will go back to school myself (culinary school). But as of now I plan on being home for quite awhile.


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## Aster (Aug 12, 2002)

Man i wish i knew the answer to that one. When i was pg and knew i had a year of mat leave i thought there was no way i needed an 'entire year' off. Lol. Right now i've extended my leave to 18 mos. Seriously considering resigning. Half-heartedly thinking about going back to work casually to pick up a shift here and there. Seriously wanting to change career paths so that when i do work i can set my own hours, and even possibly have ds with me while working. Right now, we're not thinking about HS'ing, but who knows what the future may bring.


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## Astrid (Aug 9, 2002)

I dont plan on ever returning to work. We will be homeschooling our ds and plan to have two more dc who will also be homeschooled and by the time all is done it will be time to retire








I guess I do work extremely part time (once every couple of months) but it is more for fun (or a favour for a friend) then anything else


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

If I have my way, not in this lifetime!


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## khrisday (Mar 18, 2002)

I'm with Irishmommy!


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## Melinda77 (Feb 3, 2002)

I agree that it is very important to have a parent at home during the school year, especially if we go the ps route (which we are leaning toward right now, with lots of enrichment at home







).

My personal "end goal" is to become a DVM, but I still have to finish my bachelors degree (long story, but I'm sure some will understand - basically overbearing mother and lack of finances got me out of school and in a job, and then I found a wonderful man and together we decided I wanted to a mom before a vet). So the current "plan" is that I will go back to college when #2 starts school, and limit my classes so that I can be home when the kids are home and we can have some study time together (of course I also plan to hang out at the library some on my own so that I *really* study LOL). This kinda slow track puts me at starting vet school in my 30's, but still being done before 40. Sounds perfect to me as when I have talked to people I would consider potential clients, it seems my stature (why should height be a consideration?? honestly at 5ft I promise I'm still strong enough to handle cattle and horses!!) and my age seem to turn them off. Hopefully if I'm nearer 40 with two children I'll garner more respect









Oh, and during those years when I am in vet school and heavily involved in interning, dh will only be working part-time, and his end goal is be a SAHD once I'm established. We are slowly but surely putting $ aside for that time.

So there wasn't quite a catagory for me to vote!!


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## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

I may plan to homeschool, in which case I won't. If she goes to school, I may work part-time.


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## NewMa (May 2, 2002)

I hope to stay home for as long as we can survive financially on dp's pay alone.


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## sleepies (Nov 30, 2001)

if kindergarten is only half-day, i might wait until he is in 1st grade for full day.

i really would like to wait until my son is old enough to talk and to be able to tell me what is going on. i'd hate leaving him and not knowing what happened in my absence.

i hope i am able to continue to stay home. with the economy the way it is, i might be forced into working. i really hope not. i'd try about anything to avoid it.

my son is VERY attached to me and it would be very hard on him (and me) if i were to have to work.

****i think it is 100% fine for women to choose to work. it just isn't what I want.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

No time soon. We are homeschooling and with a new baby due in a couple of weeks that adds 18 years to my job, that's IF he's the last baby! It's fine with me. I think I'm good at what I do. Extra money would be nice but this is what works for us right now!


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## AlohaDeb (Jul 30, 2002)

I plan to return once my youngest starts kindergarten. Given that we've only got DS, and we're hoping for 2 more, that's still a ways off









Also, I definitely will ease into it, and not immediately jump into full-time work. I actually hope to become a WAHM, so I can set my own hours and coordinate things with DH.

BTW, I think the previous post about gradually getting DH to become a SAHD is a pretty awesome plan. Gotta start discussing that with DH...


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

I kind of have the best of both worlds... I am on a leave of absence from my job until my dd turns 3. She'll be going to pre-school soon afterwards. We are planning on sending her to a really good French-immersion school (starting at pre-school) and it costs, so I should go back to work to help pay for that. I make (made) as much as my husband does, so for the 3 years I'm home we're living off of half of our usual income. We put a lot back in savings, though, to help with the 3 years I'm off. I will probably be ready to go back to work when the time comes. For now, I'm extremely happy with my decision to stay home for a while. The bond I've formed with dd is amazing and I attribute a lot of it to being with her 24/7.


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

0000000000000000000000000000


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## sozobe (Aug 5, 2002)

I'm a SAHM, but I know many many people who would love to be SAHMs and can't afford it. Like, really can't afford it -- not that they could give up a car, or live in a yuckier house, or whatever. I'm very very happy to have the opportunity to be an SAHM, but I always feel duty-bound to insert into these discussions that it's not merely a choice for many people.

I really enjoyed working, and expected that I would stay home only until my daughter started school full-time, and that either dh or I would be home when she'd come home. I also expected that I would have only one child, and I'm currently wrestling with that. I feel strongly about staying home until that point, so another kid stretches my time not working from 5 years to 8 or more... not sure what I think about that yet.


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## Curious (Jan 4, 2002)

I'm not exactly SAH right now but I work a very limted schedule. And my office is downstairs from my home so that's the only reason I'm working right now. I am not making us a lot of money but I save us lots.

Much of the work I do is administrative to support Dh's work, (not to mention that he says he owes his career to my support). Just as an aside, I do miss having my own money because as open minded as Dh is, he sometimes feels he has more say in decisions because he is the main earner. It's a pain to have to set him straight there even though it's not very often. I also really love my work, but I can apply my skills at home too and right now I feel that's where they are best directed.

There are pressures on me from many directions to work more and of course when I was pregnant I underestimated how ready I would feel to return to work on my previous schedule.

I, too, plan to homeschool, but I think there are many things about the office Dh and I share that will be fodder for educational experiences. I think now that I'll add more time when Dd is able to come to the office with me and maybe sit and read or do some simple tasks.

So realistically, that's years. And as sozobe points out, another child would drastically extend that plan.


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## Cygnet09 (Jan 17, 2002)

I've been at home since I was about 3 months PG because I had just finished my last group of classes for my BS and had actually quit working so that I could finish up by the end of that year ('99). So I've never really had my career yet, and I have to say that it is calling to me. I've finally decided to enroll in a Master's program in lactation consulting and will probably start classes in the fall of next year. Most classes will be online at first, so I think it will work out well for the first few semesters.

DH has been working at an emergency clinic for several years now, so he has actually been home all day, almost every day ever since DD was born (gone some nights). That will continue, and we may well dip into savings or get a loan so that he can reduce his hours even more while I am in school. So he would be a SAHD for the most part while I finish up and begin working. I don't want to work crazy hours, tho - 3/4 time would be ideal.

He wants to be a SAHD more than anything else, and would probably do most of their homeschooling - whereas I am really looking forward to getting my degree and getting out there again. Since he is a vet and I only have my BS, there's no job that I could get within my field to compare to his income (without more schooling), so he needs to work. I really want to change that for him.


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## sueami (Oct 11, 2002)

i can't seem to ever vote on these polls, but my choice would be not planning to return to work, i guess. this presumes my life remains fortunate enough for that to be a choice.
i've got a 4 and 1 yo and plan to unschool.
i was burned out by my first career (journalism) and was totally uninspired by my second (media relations for a university), so don't have any siren song calling me back into the work force. i toy with the idea of other careers (what _do_ I want to be when i grow up? massage therapist? hospice nurse? psychologist? really empathetic waitress?) but none call me with a lightning bolt. and like other posters above, i feel incredibly lucky and even a bit guilty that i can say all of this so breezily. i know there are women who have no choice but to work long hours and i feel like i don't deserve this largesse, but as someone else said, mothering is my job and i feel like i'm doing a good job of it.
anyway,
my 2 cents and uncounted vote (and i don't even live in florida)
susan
p.s. does anyone else find that they only have time to post on these boards late at night, when they are at their least coherent? i'm not sure i'm even making sense half the time...


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## marisa (Apr 23, 2002)

i hope to never go back!
i am a budding entrepreneur and hope to be able to bring in income through my online home business. my husband co-runs a sign business with his father, and we are so fortunate to have the flexibility and freedom in our jobs.
things are very tight financially, and i was babysitting to supplement my husband's income, but i decided the stress of watching another baby besides my own was not worth the extra $. the plan is to homeschool my children, and start trying for another one in a year or less.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

For some reason, these polls never let me vote. I am logged in!








I will stay home til our youngest (due in May - if he/she is our youngest....) is in 1st grade at least. Would work part time after that. Feel extremely lucky to be able to live comfortably on dh's income alone. My mom stayed home with us; MIL stayed home with dh; that is just how we prefer to do it if financially feasible.
Kirsten


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## berniegoboom51 (Nov 15, 2002)

name


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## berniegoboom51 (Nov 15, 2002)

I am ashm and i am not planning to go back to the work force till my daughter is well into school. Then i want to start slow


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## wwhippetcrazy (Mar 3, 2002)

I planned on never going back...but sometimes miss the adult interaction, don't get me wrong, being a mom is the BEST!!! "job" ever!!!







, but we live in the bush and I don't see other adults very much...but having said that....I definately won't go back until dd is in school (assuming she's our only-that's the plan), and only during school hours part-time...you know drop her at school, go to work, go home, her come home after I'm home (ah in a perfect world







)

This of course depends on whether me working will screw us in taxes...if it does, then I'll just have to volunteer somewhere....my mom was always really involved in our school lives, so I would like to be the same too!

OT...but it's amazing how things in life will change your views on what is important....I thought that I wanted to have this great career, you know...but then my mom got sick..then dh and I almost called it quits (after 10 years), then I got pg, then dd....work sure seems like something that isn't all that important to me anymore....I'd move mountians to stay home with my family...kwim??

Jen


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## Gagesmom (Dec 11, 2001)

I have a toddler and an infant so I won't be going to work for some years yet. I'm hoping that I won't have to until they are done with school, however: i.e., graduate from high school. We live in an urban area where kids can get into a lot of trouble and I want to always be accessible to my kids. I truly believe that as kids get older it's even MORE important that at least one parent be home and available to them at all times. I want to be the mom that walks with the kids to the bus stop or to school, and is there to pick them up/walk them home afterwards. I was a wild child and know what kids can get into even when they're considered old enough to be left alone. My parents gave me free reign to do whatever, whenever. It made me feel that they didn't care about me or what I did, and I did a lot of stupid stuff because of it. I don't ever want my kids to feel that way. My DH is very supportive of me being home, also and we're lucky enough to not be strapped financially with just him working, so I imagine I'll be a SAHM for many more years.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

We plan to homeschool so my answer is probably never, unless I have to. At least not until my children are older and/or out of the house and on their own. I often talk about this with dh, feeling like I'm not contributing. This society and economy is not kind to one income families like ours. Dh told me tonight that my job is the most important in our family and he'll be sure to let our kids know later on how much their mommy loved them, to be the best teacher and caregiver they could ever have. No $$ can by the kind of love a mommy can give.

Darshani


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## flminivanmama (Nov 21, 2001)

my dh and I own a resturant and I will go work there when my kids start school - I work there two days a week during lunch right now while my dad or my mom and dad (depending on my mom's busy social schedule LOL) watch the kids. When I go "full time" I'll be home before they get home from school.


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## Sahara (Nov 28, 2001)

I didn't vote because I don't plan to go back to work, exactly. DH works with the family business, and once our family is complete and everyone is in school I'm sure I will do some work from home. But I don't think I'll ever collect a paycheck again. Weird.


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## olymom (Aug 15, 2002)

My DH and I are both teachers/educators and made the same $ when both working. I have been out of the classroom for 2 years and plan to be out for probably 2 more so each of our DDs will be at least 3+ before doing any kind of daycare. I hadn't planned to go back, but DH really wants to be a SAHDad- so after the girls wean during the day time I will look at going back. I am lucky to have a situation to be able to co-parent and truly share the growth of these kids with someone. To suplement, I do trainings some weekends and can sub in a school that has on-site care if necessary. Living on one teacher's sallary isn't easy, but the trade-off is harder!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I guess 'never' is not a good answer? ;-) I have worked p/t OTH with small children and I wasn't so great at it. I know some families manage really well, and I know there are some Moms who love their careers and are too good at it, too needed, to leave them. However, I am a better parent and person when I don't have the pressures of an outside job. I want to stay home a long time now that I have a taste of being home full time without the job pressures. I will have to contribute to our income at some point, with so many kids probably going to college etc. I am not ashamed to say I love being home, I love taking care of my family. I feel really content. I feel lucky and blessed.


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## Nanner (Apr 12, 2002)

I am currently in school, taking 3 classes this semester (almost over- yeahhhh!!!), 3 next semester, and then full-time after that (4 classes). My dd is 26 mths and I went back to school when she was 4 mths, taking 2 classes each semester until she was a year old, and then 3 classes since then.
But, I am incredibly lucky to have her very much loved uncle keep her- which, by the way, we are now living with (since September).
I am a single Mom and dd's Dad is not very involved at all.
So, her uncle plays more the role of Dad than Uncle.
She actually looks forward to me leaving for school- makes me happy and sad at the same time!
Anyway, I have about 3 yrs until i finish school and until then my parents are supporting me (yes, they are wonderful!!!).
So, with my dd's ;ate Bday, she will likely be in her last year of being at home (may send her to preschool-still debating) when I have to go to work. I am so sad about this but there is no other choice. My parents make good money, but we are definitely a burden on them financially and so I have no choice really.
But, I am going to be a teacher so at least I will be able to have about the same times off of school as my dd.
Then again, maybe I will meet that Prince Charming in the next 3 years and can have more babies and postpone working....
Not likely giving my dating life right now!
Sara


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## angelfromalasaka (May 19, 2002)

we plan on hs and i dont plan on going back. the kids are my job


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## Faith (Nov 14, 2002)

Never!! I love being at home. Even when all our kids (present and future) are all done homeschooling and I am a grandma, I will be here to finally have the time to meet my DH at the door with a spotless house and a made dinner.


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## yogamama (Nov 19, 2001)

I think about this EVERY day. I don't know... I didn't vote.

I am actually a very new SAHM - just the past few months. And I'm still officially employed by my employer of the last 11 years. I'm on a leave and plan to separate in Feb as soon as our house refinancing and financial plans come together. I have a 3 year old son and I am 4 months pregnant with our second child. Another chilld after that? I don't know...

I teach yoga a few hours a week now. Right now that is more than enough, but it barely pays for groceries. I'm in a total state of transition, since I used to be the major breadwinner in our house and have been easing out of my career for the past few years.

I echo Sueami - I toy with other career ideas. Right now my idea is to get a master's in education after baby #2 is ready for me to go take classes. I'm totally burnt out from my career in community development (I worked for a federal government agency).

I'm not committed to being at home full time forever, but I NEVER want to work full time in the 8:30am to 5pm plus-an-hour-commute-on-each-side-of-my-day. Blech - that was my personal version of hell.

I enjoy being at home, but it is isolating - even with LLL and homeschooling groups and teaching yoga. I'm a VERY social person and I envision myself doing some work-for-pay as my kids get older. I toy with the idea of homeschooling, but I don't know. We will see what is best for our kids.

Of course money is an issue too...
K

Sueami - your post really made sense to me. I only read and post when I wake up in the middle of the night! I used to read and post from work when I was at a desk job.


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## modmom (Nov 22, 2001)

I also consider this question on a daily basis. Last year I thought I had the perfect situation working two nights a week as a psychotherapist while my DH cared for dds 2 and five. Now I am three months pregnant and exhausted. I am working on winding down to one night. I am really excited about this change I love my career but I love being a full time mom as well.

I think I will always struggle with balance but this feels good right now.

Yogamama congratulations on your pregnancy! We just joined the Chicago Children's Museum As always I would love to hook up but am limited by my 5 y.o. school schedule.


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## JesseMomme (Apr 6, 2002)

Actually when my children are in full time school (like 1st grade on up) I want to go back to school myself. I only have one semester of college under my belt so far.

Jesse








Mommy to Kieran, Donovan and Liam


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## CarrieL (Jan 15, 2002)

NEVER LOL, I can't imagine working a real job again. Then again I was working at home even before kiddos. I will be self employed forever


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