# Three months today



## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

since Micah Zachary was born still. very sad. but have lots of family activities planned so this will be only time to reflect.


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## pottermama (Jun 14, 2006)

Big Hugs to you and your family







I am so sorry!


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)




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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

Many hugs.








I know how hard monthly anniversaries can be.

Em


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)




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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)




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## gratefulbambina (Mar 20, 2005)




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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

wow. i know how hard that is. time does make it a little better. and keeping busy as well.







hugs!


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Thinking of you. Saturday also marked 3 months since we buried Baker, and our 5th wedding anniversary. I KNOW what you're going through better than most.


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Cuddlebaby, I've been thinking a lot about April 12. On that day you labored, gave birth, and cried over your beautiful baby boy. That very same day, surrounded by family, I placed by baby boy's ashes in the ground and cried over his grave. You are not alone in your grief. We are not alone in our grief. We are linked by a "necklace of tears" cried by women across the world and throughout time. I really like what this woman wrote in a Mothering article: http://www.mothering.com/articles/bo...tes-grace.html.

Wishing you peace today.


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## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I know it is a little late, and I am sorry... but I really wanted to lend you some support. I am so sorry...


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

thank you all. That day (and a few since) deteriorated quickly. Dalene, thanks for the article, I just finished it. She went on to to have another. I hear most who have a loss do.

I feel a special connection with you all. Dalene, you don't have other children do you? I am so very thankful for the support received here. It seems to be a long journey. I worry that as time passes those of you who have had recent losses like me will not need to come here any longer to gain support and therefore will not be here to give it.


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cuddlebaby* 
thank you all. That day (and a few since) deteriorated quickly. Dalene, thanks for the article, I just finished it. She went on to to have another. I hear most who have a loss do.

I feel a special connection with you all. Dalene, you don't have other children do you? I am so very thankful for the support received here. It seems to be a long journey. I worry that as time passes those of you who have had recent losses like me will not need to come here any longer to gain support and therefore will not be here to give it.

Nope, no other children. Baker is my one and only. I feel like I recently turned a corner in my grief and am getting anxious to TTC again. OB said to wait 6 months since I had a C/S. DH and I feel ready to welcome Baker's brother or sister whenever s/he should arrive. Do you think you'll try again? You have 4 children?


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I worry a bit about those of you who don't have other children. Mine still have daily needs. I can't spend all day crying. I imagine you/others have already quit your jobs and have all your baby stuff ready and a routine not really in place yet. I have a routine. stuff *has* to get done.

I saw in a diff thread some are volunteering. great idea. also helps stave off the depression. cuz *giving* helps you feel better. so hard to do when you are depressed though









Rebecca


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## ladybug732 (Apr 29, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cuddlebaby* 
I worry a bit about those of you who don't have other children. Mine still have daily needs. I can't spend all day crying. I imagine you/others have already quit your jobs and have all your baby stuff ready and a routine not really in place yet. I have a routine. stuff *has* to get done.

I saw in a diff thread some are volunteering. great idea. also helps stave off the depression. cuz *giving* helps you feel better. so hard to do when you are depressed though









Rebecca

Yeah, that's me exactly. I had already put in my notice and had a week left of work when Audrey passed away. I didn't like that job, so I wasn't sad about losing it, but then again, it has been a bit hard feeling like I lost my purpose. I was geared up to be a stay at home mom and excited about doing a job that I knew I would love and be good at for once. And now...it's just me at home.









I clean a lot and do silly things like paint the baseboards. So far I have mostly managed to stay busy. I don't let myself sleep in and try to get out of the house every day, usually at least to the store or the gym because if I don't, I tend to get depressed. I also go out to lunch regularly with friends, my parents and DH. I also have a Bible study at my church to go to. All of these things help me, though of course it is still hard.

I have also been in contact with a local homeless shelter and will start volunteering soon. I think I will only do about 10 hours a week, so that I can still have time to myself. I'm looking forward to it, although a little nervous about meeting and interacting with people who don't know me and have no idea about Audrey. I will definitely tell them if they ask if I have children, but of course it can throw an immediate wrench in the conversation. Oh well. She's my baby, and I'm proud of her.

I'm glad that your children are helping you to keep busy. I cuddle a bit more with my dogs and cat, but I keep telling them that they make poor substitutes for a baby. Ha ha. BTW, tomorrow will be three months for me as well. Yesterday was three months since we learned that she had passed away, and today three months ago, we were trying to decide whether to induce or wait. It's so hard to believe. Sometimes I still can't believe it really happened to me.

Hugs to us all. It's a hard, surreal, awful road. But I have hope for the future, and I pray that everyone else does also, even in the midst of our grief.

Kathleen


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## lunarmagic (Mar 10, 2006)

Big hugs to you. 3 months was a hard milestone for me, even though I wasn't expecting it to be.


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cuddlebaby* 
I worry a bit about those of you who don't have other children. Mine still have daily needs. I can't spend all day crying. I imagine you/others have already quit your jobs and have all your baby stuff ready and a routine not really in place yet. I have a routine. stuff *has* to get done.

I saw in a diff thread some are volunteering. great idea. also helps stave off the depression. cuz *giving* helps you feel better. so hard to do when you are depressed though









Rebecca

I returned to work 5 weeks after my son died, which seems like such a short amount of time, as I write that out&#8230;especially considering that I had to recover from a C/S. They gave me lots of flexibility-I started back at 2 days/wk and gradually eased back to fulltime. I've taken vacation days, so I have rarely worked a full 5-day week. DH returned after 4 weeks, and I found that my days home alone were difficult. I could get out of bed and go for a long walk in the morning, but when it came to showering and dressing for the day, I got stuck.

My plan was to go back to work part time after Baker's birth. I had it worked out so perfectly. I was going to take 5 months off for maternity leave, then return at 3 days/wk for as long as I wanted. DH would stay home 1 day and Baker would go to daycare 2 days. We worked SO HARD with our employers to iron out that plan. Now, being back at work has been helpful because it does force me into a routine. I remain a little foggy and not quite up to my normal game, but accomplishing a few small tasks in a workday helps with my healing.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I've found going back to work (3 weeks post partum) helped me a lot too. I'm a phone rep (customer service) for Cabela's.com and catalog and fixing other people's problems is still very healing. take comfort in easy-to-fix problems. and working evenings (so hubby can be home with kids) is kind of good in that evenings are usually toughest although it's hard to not be with hubby much. But we'll have plenty of time together when the kids are adults.


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