# Welcome, New Three-Year Olds!



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

**Note: This thread is, ostensibly, a follow-up thread to the Nov/Dec 02 thread in Toddlers; I'm all for welcoming parents of older threes and even fours into the group, but I thought that you might like to know where we're coming from.









I thought that it was time for a change as we are "officially" out of toddlerhood, for the most part.







What's new with our little boys and girls?









I'm thinking that this might be a good time for reintroductions, and perhaps to broaden the group a bit since things are not so malleable from month to month at this age.







Feel free to follow suit, or not.
















I am Rynna, and my BeanBean turned 3 in November. He's my oldest child, with an 18 month old sister (BooBah) and a new sister coming in the spring (BellyBean). BeanBean has not been a toddler for quite a while, but he's a fascinating and fun kid.







I love him to bits, and really enjoy spending time with him.







We are "formally" home educating BeanBean as of August. He's still co-sleeping with us and is interested in nursing but is taking a break until BellyBean arrives (at which point he may well start up again). He's totally out of diapers, still in a rear-facing carseat (that will probably change after this weekend...







: ), and he's a wonderful big brother. I could go on and on about how fabulous I think he is for hours on end, but I'll try not to bore you all.







Suffice it to say, I love my children dearly and think that they're some of the most wonderful people ever to walk the face of the Earth.


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## fyoosh (May 9, 2005)

Hi! I used to be over in the toddler forum but moved over here a long time ago, as my kiddo seemed to move into "childhood" early 

Technically, he wouldn't be Nov/Dec02 as he was born in October, but on halloween, so I figure that is pretty close!









Good to see you over here!!!


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

:


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## BCmamaof6 (Sep 7, 2004)

My just-turned-3yo-last-week DD ("bunny") is my _baby_. Still nursing (a LOT), co-sleeping, baby-wearing (sometimes), PLed but still in night dipes (although she wakes up dry 9 times out of 10).

She has recently started talking way more, drawing much more detailed pictures & also drawing beautiful wall murals







: She takes Scottish-highland dance classes. She has her own room...but has never slept in it. She loves playing with 'babies', dressing up like a princess, playing with wool food, playing with Brio trains, building with Lincon Logs or blocks, playing with playdoh, 'reading' to herself (from memory)...although her passion is really coloring.









She seems like such a baby to me, though. I guess because I've never had a 3yo w/out a baby as well.
She did tell me (the day after her birthday) that she wasn't my baby bunny anymore...she was a big girl now.
Although she sure knows how to act like a baby when she wants "a little dribble of the milkies" & I've said no. She whimpers and says "please...I just little...I not a big girl no more...I just have a little sip of the mole milky" (long story...small mole on side of breast = favorite side







)

She looks like a doll...big brown eyes, round face & long, curly hair.
She truly is the sweetest thing ever...(even if she does use indelible ink pens to color every surface of our ensuite bathroom)


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

nice to see you, bcmomof5!







I'm from B.C. too







Your DD sounds very cute. My DD told me recently too, that "Haevens a big girl now".. the whole 3rd birthday thing really changed her, I see. after her b-day, she finally has her own bed, and has completely weaned, as well as not wearing dipes at night anymore too (thank gawd)... they grow up so fast


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fyoosh*
Hi! I used to be over in the toddler forum but moved over here a long time ago, as my kiddo seemed to move into "childhood" early 

Technically, he wouldn't be Nov/Dec02 as he was born in October, but on halloween, so I figure that is pretty close!









Good to see you over here!!!









Yeah, BeanBean moved into childhood a while ago, but the concensus of the group was that we should stay in Toddlers a bit longer, and I really like it, so...














It's all good.







Welcome!


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

: I'm Sarita, and my son is Razi. He is still nursing and I don't mind except from 4am to 6am. He has his own bed that he's gotten in once for about 5 minutes before he requested the 'big bed'. He recently started Montessori school, which is weird and nice. I prefer waldorf but there isn't one here







. His newest thing is cutting pieces of paper w/ his new scisoors and glueing them together and sending them to his friends in AZ (we just moved to WA).

Dp and I are currently TTC, well actually waiting to "O" so we can get on with it







.

fyoosh- all day on halloween 02 I was hoping and hoping for his debut but no such luck (halloween is my fav holiday)

so exciting to move to a new phase!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saritasmile*
fyoosh- all day on halloween 02 I was hoping and hoping for his debut but no such luck (halloween is my fav holiday)









I was well into the "for the love of God, get him out!!" stage of pregnancy by Halloween 02.







It was a very difficult pregnancy.


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## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

I'm one of those people who still consider three-year-olds toddlers. My girl reads lots of words, started writing at one, spoke in sentences by that time as well, and at a LLL meeting when she was two one of the leaders said,"I just came from the kitchen[where dd was] and [my DD] talks like a seven-year-old." What else? We've been reading chapter books forever, she speaks French and Spanish, very, very well and has a mind like a steel trap. She's still my baby, though. And since she's so tiny other people still call her a baby too. Strangers, I mean, say things like, "Hi, baby!" and "Oh, look at the beautiful baby!"
I feel like if I go by what she's been doing then she was never really a baby, even, she did things so early.
I wonder if something one of the pp said is true--she thinks of her three-year-old as a baby because she never had just a three-year-old, she always had a younger child as well. If I had more babies maybe I would view her as more grown-up?
Well, anyhow, three seems to be a great age. I love just watching her.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama2mygirl*
I feel like if I go by what she's been doing then she was never really a baby, even, she did things so early.
I wonder if something one of the pp said is true--she thinks of her three-year-old as a baby because she never had just a three-year-old, she always had a younger child as well. If I had more babies maybe I would view her as more grown-up?
Well, anyhow, three seems to be a great age. I love just watching her.









Even a profoundly gifted three year old can be a toddler. It just depends on the kid. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I have other babies; when my nephew was three, I had a two year old and my nephew was definately a toddler. One my younger niece was a toddler at three, but my older niece definately wasn't. I've known kids who could go either way. In general, though, I think of toddlers as being under three.







It's a personality thing. Some people have walking babies at 9 months, others have toddlers who are barely crawling at that age. They're all different.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

Well, I see toddlers as "toddling", you know, always about to fall over as they walk across the room.









mama2mygirl~ that's impressive what your DD can do at three!

I think that when our three year olds have younger siblings, that makes them appear a lot older .... I have a 18 mo. old as well.... so that changes a lot of things.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

hi all just a quick note to subscribe to this thread. we had a great trip to disneyworld and a TERRIBLE trip home. got home late last night and trying to catch up on my emails while GA is trying to catch up with her toys









more later

amy


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

We're not quite there- Julian won't be 3 for another 19 days.
I think 3 is going to be the best year yet, although 2 was amazing.
This time last year my son had just started using 2 word sentences, and now he can talk for several minutes at a time without stopping! His vocabulary is cracking me up these days- he likes to use words like fabulous, lunatic, comfortable, disgusting, and so on. He also uses figures of speech like "I'm starving to death!" and some things I shouldn't repeat (thankfully, he only curses at home, but he's a regular sailor around here!)
I just had #2 3 weeks ago and Julian is SUCH a good brother. He always tells me what Luka needs "I think he needs to nurse/be burped/be holded/etc." and he runs to get wipes wet in the sink, get me dry diapers, glasses of water, and so on when I'm lying around with the baby. I've had all sorts of issues- severe mastitis and latch problems- and when I am at the end of my rope, sobbing in pain and frustration, Julian will hold me and say "It's okay, mommy, I'm here, don't cry" and even ask "You want me to get you some painkillers?"
He's still nursing a lot (he's pretty much quit eating solids since Luka was born) and is so cute about it. "Please nurse me mommy, that will make me sooo happy" or sometimes the less sweet "Just put a boobie in my mouth!"







I think he'll definitely nurse until 4.
We're still cosleeping and there's nothing nicer than being surrounded by snuggly babies all night long.

What did everyone get their kids for 3rd birthday presents? I am planning to get Julian a nice Ryan's Room dollhouse and a pair of rollerskates.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I can't belive our little ones are now in "the childhood years"!!!







: They will stay in this forum (if we do) until they are teenagers... Weird!

So, hello to all the new mamas who've joined us! I am Leah, Mama to Zachary (12/3/02), and foster mama of Crystal (7/29/96) and Julianna (2/27/03). Zach and Jul are 2 months apart, and we got Jul when she was 4 days old, so they are almost like twins. They have so much in common, yet they are so different at the same time (they look like night and day- Z is light and J is dark). It's really exciting to watch their personalities change while they become little people. It's hard for me to "let them go" because for so long they were helpless little babes, dependent on me for their every need, and now they are independent little kids who are learning and doing all by themselves... But on the same token I am happy for all their growing and experiencing, because it is so truly magical...









Sarita, I am jealous of you!







How exciting for you to be planning and hoping for a new little one...









So many people in my life are against me having another baby, I am so sick of it. DH doesn't help me as it is, so he says it will all be on me if we have another one, which is difficult to hear because I need his support, especially if I have PTL again.







My mom and friends don't want me to have another one because we are finally starting to "have fun again", which means I am able to go out of the house without kids, and travel again.







: I know it would be hard work, I know it would mean less sleep, I know it would be stressful with another child, but something in me is just not content to leave it alone. I just never imagined that I'd only have one. And foster kids aren't the same, no matter how much I love the girls, there is nothing like the bond between a mama and her baby, kwim? I know you all do! Anyway... I'm only 26, so I guess it's not like I'm going into menopause tomorrow. But, I feel like I don't want to wait too much longer, either. I just have to convince everyone around me that it's what I really want. I know they are thinking of me, and they want me to be happy... Because for a long time when Z and J were little I was a sleep-deprived stressball walking around in a daze. But it won't be as difficult next time around because I'll only have ONE baby instead of two, and no drug withdrawels, icky bottles, reflux, working, first-time Mama worries, etc. I think it will seem like a breeze to care of one baby at a time! Just plop 'em in a sling and go!







I just hope if I do get pregnant again, God doesn't decide to give me twins as some sort of cruel joke...







:

Anyway, sorry for the longwinded post about my pregnancy woes. It's been on my mind lately. I need to go see my psychic so I have some idea of direction, LOL...

Hoping for a







for Sarita!!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

It's funny, people who aren't very close to our family but know us are all surprised when we say we're planning to stop at four.







I hear things like, "you obviously love having kids so much," and "you're so good with your kids," all the time...







I think that I appear to be a better parent in public than I do at home... I certainly don't *feel* like supermom most of the time!







:

One of the women at the local whole foods store asked, "So, are you guys ready for the next one yet?"







I said, "I sure as heck hope so!"







(I'm fat, so it's hard to tell that I'm pregnant until I'm 7-8 months, if you don't know for sure). She said that she wanted four, too, but she's got seven.







In fact, most people, when I tell them that we plan to stop at four, say, "Yeah, I wanted to stop at four, too..." they've either got two kids (had difficulty concieving







) or more than six.







I totally can see how that might happen, and would love to be just rolling in kids. Mike and I have already discussed the fact that if we ever won the lottery, we'd build a big house and fill it with kids.







Just keep going until we couldn't anymore, and then adopt more.














It would be so nice!

BeanBean is a *wonderful* big brother!







I really couldn't ask for more, and sometimes I'm afraid that I may inadvertantly ask too much because he's so eager to help.







This morning, for example, he put himself and his sister into the bathtub. (I'm still not sure why, I think he just wanted to play, but he said something about BooBah being messy...







) He can change BooBah's diapers as long as they're not poopy, he helps her to put her shoes away and to get dressed, and all sorts of other things. He's a total love, he just adores his sister and loves helping out with her.














It's too cute.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well, Rynna, you are LUCKY.









That sure doesn't sound like the screamin', yellin', cryin', toy-throwin', cheek-smackin', hair-pullin', foot-stompin', fun-filled days we have at our house!!!









Somedays it feels like all I do is yell... And I know that sounds horrible!







: Maybe I'm not a good enough mother to handle more kids... I am trying not to screw up the ones I have, and sometimes it's a daily battle. Mostly it's an internal battle with myself- do I give in and give up "control" to avoid the conflicts, or do I stand my ground and "force" my kids to be "good"??? I want my kids to be kids, I want them to learn from experience, so I try not to put too many restricitons on them... BUT I also want them to clean up their messes and share without hitting each other, so I need to have SOME guidelines... Anyhoo... I probably make things harder than they are because I'm a control freak Capricorn! I have been struggling with that a lot lately- whether or not I am angry at the kids for their behavior, or if I'm really angry at *myself* for not having that "parental control" over my kids, that is so important by societal norms. I need to break loose from my chains and just be free!









Going to put March of the Penguins on for Zachary. It's one of his favorites... Guess I should watch it so I know what my kid is being exposed to, huh???


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

AAwww, Rynna, your kids sound sooo sweet. I looked at their pics again and they are soo cute!!

Leah- I know how you mean about dh not being so helpful, Tav is a great guy but not incredibly helpful w/ Razi. He isn't as ready to TTC as me and I'm slightly pushing it convincing him to try this month. But if I don't get preggo this month, we'll be waiting a few months cuz Tav wants an aquarious and we mostly just don't want 2 scorpios







: I totally think it will be easier this time but I didn't have half as much going on as you did. I just naively think a sling is going to solve everything (of course)







and I already have 3 fabrics worth saved aside neatly in a special place








I'm already drooling over stuff on the diapering trading post. It's terribly exciting. And BTW, I'm totally for you having another, mostly cuz I know just how you feel, it may not be totally rationaly but it is completely undeniable! I'd like to see my intuitive but she lives in AZ and I'm saving money for the chiro, (knee, hip issue).

gtg pick up razi at the school that he hates this week


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Leah-


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Thanks, Sarah!!! I needed that... Even if it wasn't a real hug, it's the thought that counts and I appreciate it! I hope you guys will be around this summer. We're planning on being in Spokane for awhile, so it'd be nice to see you again... Maybe you'll have a little bump in your belly?









We feel the same way about Scorpios. We tried NOT to have one.







Please don't take offense if you have a Scorpio DC or if you are a Scorpio! DH's ex-wife was a Scorpio, so we have some negative feelings associated with Scorps, we're just weird like that.







I'd like to plan the conception so that I'm due anywhere from early February to early June. I have already mentioned that I don't want to be huge/ due in the middle of a sweltering desert summer!

One of my main concerns is that if I had known I would miscarry and not have any more babies I would NEVER have (however gently) encouraged Zachary to wean at 27 months!!! I would have nursed him forever, or as long as he wanted, since he'd be my only baby... Ugh! And DH thinks I'm babying him still!









I just can't imagine never again experiencing that wonderful moment when you finally SEE the baby that grew inside you, the first time you hold them and kiss their sweet face... Through all the tantrums and horrid days of argumentative toddlers, I got enough love in those first few moment of holding my Zachary (and Julianna for that matter) to make it all worthwhile!!!


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## cam&kat's_mom (Jan 12, 2006)

HI all! We're new here









I'm Carrie mom to Cameorn (3) and kathleen (16 mos)

Cameron is doing great and is far beyond what i ever expected from a 3 year old. I was reading above about mama2mygirl's DD and it's liek she was describing my son! Cameron's favorites are reading and writing, loves to play computer and is havign a BLAST in a christian preschool. We're also doign some homeschooling and hoping ot continue that rather than public school btu time will tell and we will do what is best for him at that time. Before his third birthday he went to a local kindergarten screening and they were baffled and strongly suggested that I get together with some homeschooling moms in the area cause "public schools aren't set up to meet teh needs of children that are that far advanced from theri peers" SO we will see... He's a real gem of a kid and we are SO blessed to have him!! Ccan't wait to get to know more abotuyou and your kiddos!


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Hi all. My ds turned 3 last month. So hard to believe how much he has grown. I love







my little guy!!
He's finally getting to the point where I think he'd love some sort of organized 'class'. Gymboree? Arts & Crafts? Of course, I'd have to beg my mom for the money for it though. I highly doubt she'd give it to me but one must try. LOL.
Actually, if i had about $300, I could join the YMCA at the low rate (because of my lack of income). That would be cool because they have some kids programs, etc. Not sure I'd be comfortable leaving him in the childcare room while i worked out though.

Gotta run.
Peace,
Liz


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*

We feel the same way about Scorpios. We tried NOT to have one.







Please don't take offense if you have a Scorpio DC or if you are a Scorpio! DH's ex-wife was a Scorpio, so we have some negative feelings associated with Scorps, we're just weird like that.


I'm definetly not trying to offend any scorpio either! But my best friend when I was 14 was a scorpio and she got me into all kinds of trouble that a 14 yr should NOT have gotten into, PTSD I guess. The night before last, I dreamed that she was trying to 're'friend me and she was following me all over town carrying a baby in a carseat! Not really into that dream, yikes!

We'd love to see you in Spokane, I will probably come to AZ at some point this spring but not sure how that will all work out.

I keep meaning to tell you, I burned the cookies.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

You guys are afraid of Scorpios? Yeesh!







When we first got pregnant with BeanBean, I knew instantly that he was a boy and I was *terrified* because I thought that I might deliver a Capricorn boy.







As it turned out, he was due during Saggitarius, and I would have had to be more than three weeks late for him to have been born during Capricorn. I was totally relieved, because I would have seriously wanted an induction to avoid having a boy during Capricorn.







: Of course, none of it was an issue, and he was born during Scorpio.









I'm a Libra, though, and we don't do well with Capricorns irl. I personally have a long history of horribly depressing and bad relationships with Capricorn men, starting with my father and ending with my sister's ex.







I can always tell when a guy is a Capricorn, because he pisses me off right away for no apparent reason....
















Anyway, that's something that I/we definately strive to avoid.







With BooBah, I didn't want to be hugely pregnant over the summer, but that wasn't a big deal (she was born at the end of June).







I was actually freezing the whole pregnancy, unlike my first (when I was boiling hot if the temperature was over 55







) so I was pretty pleased with the world when it got warm. I think it would be cool for the next baby to be a winter baby, since I've got a fall and a summer and a spring on the way, but I'll definately be shooting for Aquarius or Pisces.







I think that early February would be *perfect*.







Hm... when would I have to concieve for that to happen...
















Leah-- I have days like that, too! That's why I'm not so sure where people are coming from when they say, "You're such a great mom!" I think that what they mean is, "I can see that you're making an effort to do something other than beat your children into submission. Bravo!"







They're also impressed at the amount of responsibility that I feel, which strikes me as kind of sad... doesn't *every* parent feel responsible for their children?







It's true that I don't automatically jump to the conclusion that my child/ren is/are making me angry about something, that I think, "Maybe I'm angry about something else entirely" and try to respond accordingly... but I think that lots of people can/should do that.







I dunno. Maybe I just have high standards (which I most assuredly don't live up to all of the time!) for parenting.









Gifted children-- I've got two, and I will admit that it is one of the many, many reasons that I'm a home educator.







It's very cool, great fun, and quite challenging (but I've got it easier than many parents of gifted children do







). There's actually a thread over in Special Needs called Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #7. There are quite a few regular posters, you should visit.









Lizc-- why would you need $300 to join the Y?! That's a lot of money... I bet they've got a way to help you out, if you look into it.







BeanBean has been taking swimming lessons there, and he absolutely loves it.







He's quite the little fish!







I didn't think I'd be able to sign him up for a second class because he needed new shoes, but the shoes were much cheaper than I expected them to be so he's swimming again.









Recently, I found out that a museum which is only a few blocks from my mom's house has classes for little kids on Saturday mornings. I'm going to stop in and see if they have financial aid available, because I think BeanBean would *love* something like that!







I'm also trying to find a music teacher for him... That's turning out to be more difficult than I expected, but I'll find something I'm sure.







I will find a way, because this is very important to me.







:


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Hi everyone-

we had a great time is disneyworld! you can see the photos taken by the disney photographers here The minnie dress she is wearing was my little sisters. My little sister is now 30! GA had a great time with the characters and her cousins and grandparents. she still thinks we are going to see a parade everyday







She liked all of the scary rides best teacups 'teapots' the dumbo and aladin carpet rides (round and round going up and down) and pirates of the carribean ...she is obsessed with pirates I knew she would love that one. she screamed bloody murder at every show we went to until 5 seconds after the show started when she was singing and dancing in her seat. I felt like the worst mom in america during those preshow minutes though







: but I knew as soon as the show started she would love it.

we had a terrible flight home though - her worst ever (and she's a very frequent flyer) and the 'reentry' into our life has been rough. I think she turned the corner this afternoon though.

I am looking for a new job...I am so torn b/c this job is so flexible. i basically work when I want to, if daycare is closed or ga is sick etc I have so much flexibility to work from home. i don't think i will find this kind of flexibility but I can't work for my boss much longer he makes me crazy
















enough rambling from me .....

Amy

Rynna - got you pm about the socks I will measure her tomorrow.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

rynna, thanks for starting this thread.. i always thought of elwynn as a toddler or baby until ngaio was born..now he feels and acts so big ..so "growned up" ..he is a "child" now














unreal..but true. time is a strange thing.

sooo an update.. im a single(but co-parenting/friends with papa) momma of 2 amazing little beings..elwynn my just turned 3 year old son and ngaio my 6 week old daughter. both were born at home..breastfed..cloth diapered..EC'd AP'd..

i love being a momma.. its not always easy but its worth every pee'd on.. spit up on..tired out.. havn't eaten or peed all day moment









my time on MDC is limited these days what with nursing all day long but im glad this group is still together after 3 years. its amazing. i love hearing how all of your littles are doing and growing

we are getting ready to move house at the end of the month..we are just moving down a level in the hosue we live in (3 suites) but im excited about having a "new" space to make into home. right now we share our home with my older sister and her dog.

ooh gotta go nursing is calling


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Anybody wanna see a sock?







Toe-up socks totally rock.







I've got to make more.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Rynna- I love it! I cleaned out my pm box. GA is at my sister's this morning while andrew and i tile our new bathroom and entry way so the contactor can FINISH OUR KITCHEN next week! I'll get that measurement today.

Amy


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I want to join! My dd turned 3 on the 7th. She still seems so much like a baby to me. She is not independent in the least, still needs me or DH RIGHT there with her at all times. She sleeps with us, we don't even have a bedroom for her, and she still nurses as much as a newborn. We are involved with the local homeschooling group already, they have a weekly park day that we go to if the weather isn't too nasty, we plan on unschooling dd. All of dd's friends will be homeschooled so we have wonderful support. Last week I took dd to our first organized event, I've never taken her to any classes or structured play groups, everything we do is very low key, mainly just hanging out at friend's houses, park days, etc... We do go to the local library's Waldolf storytime, and dd loves the songs so much that I signed her up for a Music Together class. Didn't go over that well with her, she cuddled on my lap the entire time (she is very reserved in strange places and around strangers), but she said she wanted to go back next time, so who knows. Nice to met all of you.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Hi AMB8801!







Nice to see you here!

Rynna, that sock is sooo cute!

Hi Amy!

not much to say...


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## BCmamaof6 (Sep 7, 2004)

BTW: if anyone else has 'artistic' 3yos...nail polish remover takes off indelible ink!!!!







(I wish I'd known _that_ years ago!)


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BCmamaof5*
BTW: if anyone else has 'artistic' 3yos...nail polish remover takes off indelible ink!!!!







(I wish I'd known _that_ years ago!)

















: Plain isopropyl alcohol will work, too (you might need a bit of elbow grease, depending on the surface that's been colored on). Really, any nonpolar solvent will do the trick.









BeanBean will occasionally do some wall art on a grand scale; i.e., pressing his hand against a stamp pad and then all over the walls. If he can find something which is in one of his favorite colors (purple, red, or pink) and conducive to grand projects, he'll do it; otherwise, he'll stick with paper. BooBah, on the other hand, writes on walls all the time with anything she can get her hands on. Her work is very precise for such a tiny little person, and I often find myself marvelling at her skill and technique. I can't quite bring myself to be angry with her about it, because sometimes the things that she does look so freaking cool...







If I can find some chalkboard paint on sale, I'll definately paint a large segment of wall with BooBah in mind.









I found the first Handwriting Without Tears book super cheap on eBay, so I have something for BeanBean to work on. He loves writing, but he's not terribly coordinated so I think that this will help him.







He's very eager to learn to write his name, for example, but his fine motor skills just aren't there yet.







I don't think it's a big deal at this age, but he's eager and excited to learn and I figure, why not teach him?







Homeschooling is going very well, but could be better; Things are going to be fairly disorganized around here until we get the tax refund and see what we have available for shelf building.







I'm so totally looking forward to having proper shelving...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abranger*
Rynna- I love it! I cleaned out my pm box. GA is at my sister's this morning while andrew and i tile our new bathroom and entry way so the contactor can FINISH OUR KITCHEN next week! I'll get that measurement today.









I'm glad you like it. I think they're pretty cute myself.







I absolutely love the self-patterning yarn, it's just too cute for words.







I'm making BooBah a pair of tights out of it... they're gonna be *darling*, and I'll make the top from a heavier, 100% wool yarn so that they'll serve as a diaper cover as well. Can't you just see it? A machine washable, diaper cover & pair of tights all in one, adorable, stripy package...







I'm very excited to try to superwash wool that I bought ages ago on sale on a whim.







If I was really clever, I'd dye it to match the leg & foot parts... but I don't think I am.


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

Hi everyone! Ds1 was born 11/02 and ds2 was born 8/05. I am just now realizing that wow! he is really a little kid and not a toddler anymore. We have a love affair with trains and books over here. I love that he is pointing out each. and. every. line. in a book "what's this say?" over and over again. His memory is amazing and things seem to be more, I don't know, intricate. More detailed. More questioned. More fun!
In a fluke, I decided to check out this forum and don't know why I didn't sooner. I look forward to hearing more stories and ideas. Glad to find you!


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Oh hi..
I'm so glad you made this inclusive b/c I never found an October thread. DD was born at the end of October anyhow so we're practically November.
DD is such a mix of independence and trapedation. She was potty trained well before 2 but only gave up nite time dipes about 6 weeks ago. Only one accident since. She is also on night 3 of no Nuk. She only ever took one for sleeping and has taken the plunge into grown up sleep. I am amazed at her will in this b/c she really wants to stop but it is hard for her. I'm so proud of her. She has her own bed but now shares it with me and her new baby brother. She really loves having him in the bed with her. The first words every morning are; "Where's Michael?" (I do sleep in between them so no worries)
DD is also going through a rough anxiety patch. She seems so fearful of people. She isn't afraid of the dark or typical stuff like that. She freaks if I walk out of the room. She no longer wants to go to her dance class or her crafts class (Both at the Y and they do offer fianncial aid...we pay 78$ quarterly than only 70% for each class) She screams over every little minor inconvience. If I say, "I'm going to the bathroom she screams"Dooon't!!!
So all in all things around here are funny and frightenning.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

hipumpkins~







to our little group.... about your DD getting scared about things... is it just her imagination taking over at those moments? Because maybe you can work with it, by saying "why shouldn't I go in the bathroom?", and then you can talk it out (maybe she thinks there's a bear in the shower stall, for example







)

I'm loving that my DD is now using her imagination all the time (ie.. "see my baby tiger"







, or "tiger's chasing me...!"







) She's pretending that shes all sorts of different animals and such these days. It's so cute. I LOVE it! I was waiting for this stage, but as casina mentioned eons ago, with the growing up, comes the talking back







.... DD and I are starting to have mimi-arguements now







I've got a lot to learn as a mama, but it's the best job ever.









Hey, anyone else made playdough recently? It's a big hit around here... all you need is cheapo white flour (2 parts), refined salt (1 part) and water... I've been experimenting with colors and you can get a nice shade of green with spirulina:


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## mamaGjr (Jul 30, 2004)

Going to put March of the Penguins on for Zachary. It's one of his favorites... Guess I should watch it so I know what my kid is being exposed to, huh???







[/QUOTE]

My sister said it was great and recommended it to us - ds turned 3 on thankgiving 2005
she said there was perhaps "controversey" whether young children should see it - but she thought it was it was great and appropriate.


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## mamaGjr (Jul 30, 2004)

HI
We were never part of this thread as I subscribed to the mag years b4 i thought about having kids but not into the computer so much back in 2002!

Ds turned 3 on Thanksgiving day . He is very active and probably a bit on the bigger side although not chubby...just a big kid. He walked early but did not really start chatting until he was about 2.5 . He bf until this past spring and is very stubborn. He WILL NOT give up his diapers....I have tried EVERYTHING! He does not want to go without. I have tried and he just goes in his underwear. He will pee in the potty when prompted but pretty much REFUSEs to go caca! anyone else going through this????

ds is definitely not bilingual although he should be. his papi learned spanish before english but will not speak spanish at home ...only to his parents and people in the work place etc.... STRANGE! ds does use certain spanish words on a regular basis ...such as nino, augua, leche, etc.

he is a joy to be around, very outgoing and sweet for the most part. we are not planning on having any more for at least a couple of years. I want to start ds in preschool but we can't afford private and he definitely can't go to public b/c he turned 3 too late...plus even if we found something affordable - he won't use the potty.

glad to be here ...what fun!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaGjr*
he is a joy to be around, very outgoing and sweet for the most part. we are not planning on having any more for at least a couple of years. I want to start ds in preschool but we can't afford private and he definitely can't go to public b/c he turned 3 too late...plus even if we found something affordable - he won't use the potty.

Not to try to swing you, but have you considered homeschooling?








It would completely eliminate the potty problem and the money problem...









I really want to see March of the Penguins. I'd also like to see Harry Potter before it's out of theaters.







And The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.







We might make it, if Mike's W-2's arrive in decent time... or maybe not.









BeanBean and BooBah both stick to me like glue when I am angry or upset.







This is horrible, because when I'm upset I need time *alone* to cool down. They don't see that; they just see that I am angry, get scared that I'm going to push them away and so they come closer to me.







It's horrible, and most depressing when Mike isn't home to take the kids and let me have a bit of fresh air...


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Can I join? My dd, Lindy, will be 3 in a week. She's recently started calling herself a "big kid" sometimes, and she's doing some new big kid stuff, like going down big slides and climbing on things at playgrounds, and drawing something specific instead of just scribbling. (She pretty much only draws volcanoes - a big interest lately - though one day she was drawing shapes she said were pieces of paper.)

We did EC, so she's been out of diapers for a long time, but she still sleeps with me most of the time. She has her own toddler bed right next to mine, but these days she usually doesn't want to sleep in it, though I really wish she would because it's kind of a pain to have her and her new baby brother both in bed with me. She stopped nursing a few weeks before the baby was born. I thought there was a good chance she'd want to start up again after she saw him nursing, but she didn't.

Lindy's really into Magic Schoolbus books and videos these days. She has a small plastic lizard named Liz, after the Magic Schoolbus lizard, who goes most places with us and keeps almost getting lost. Nearly every day seems to include a frantic search for Liz.


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## K's Mom! (Jul 22, 2004)

Hello, I am Andrya, Mama to Kai and Cheyne. Kai will be 3 next Friday (20th). So, does that mean that she is longer a toddler???? Wow! my first baby is almost 3. That's wild for me. When she was born I thought it would be foreeeeeevvvveeerrrr for her to be 2. And here we are at 3! SO, should I now be posting here? She is pretty advanced as well (as I think all kids have the potential to be if they have involved parents, IMO) She has been out of diapers (day for about 1.5 yrs. and night for about 3 mos.; having a baby caused things to slow down a bit) and talking a million miles/ minute. Sometimes I have to tell her that we are going to have quiet time to rest and read books, mainly because I can't take be talked to allllll day long!








So, exciting to be embarking upon the childhood years.







I absolutely loved having a 2 yr. old and am excited about her being 3. We can interact so much better now. We've just started playing boardgames and have so much fun together!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Of course you're welcome!







Like I said, I think that there are fewer changes from month-to-month at this age than there are when kids are younger. There's still a wide variety of normal (you don't have to have an advanced three year old to join this thread!) and that's all good.









I'm curious, though: Do most of us have kids that we would consider advanced or even gifted in one or more areas?







That would certainly be interesting and noteworthy. What reasons do you have for thinking this way? Are all of our kids "different?" (I'm making graphs and charts in my head... I'm such a dork!














)


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Rynna~ I think Razi has always been a good talker. He was very articulate even at 22 months. Especially since he's is so active. He also walked at 9 months which I'm not sure is an advanced thing, just really weird to see! I can also see the potential for things. I've never really tried to push any learning on him until this montessori school tho. He picks up on things so quickly at school. He has a spanish class 2 times a week and always comes home telling me spanish things. He was singing "uno, dos, tres" over and over while on the pot the other day. so cute.

Also, thanks Rynna for starting such a good thread! It's so great to expand our group!

Welcome to all the new mama's!!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Thanks!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I might sound like a bitch, but I don't consider my kids "gifted". They're just kids. They do their own things at their own pace, and both of them are extremely unique.









Thank God the moon is waning... I think Zachary had an attack of anxious energy, or something. He was completely wild these past few days, starting on Friday the 13th! I try not to be too superstitious about that kind of stuff, but the full moon really does make him crazy!









Welcome to all the new mamas! I will try to keep up...


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

leah, i agree... the full moon energy was just nuts this month. dd was able to relax much more today, and had a 3 hour nap after having 2 days of no naps.









hugs to all!!


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

Anybody have any board games/card games that are fun? We've been playing Memory, Snail's Pace Race, Candyland and just recently Uno. It is a lot of fun and I 'm wondering what other board games Harry might enjoy. Ideas?

And to a pp, we've been out of dipes for a while. Except for pooping. He has no interest in doing that in the potty and now asks for "plastic" diapers for poop. I think he thinks they are the big kid version of diapers as he wore cloth.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Leah, you don't sound like a bitch at all!







Thinking that your child is advanced or gifted isn't necessarily a matter of pride, but one of understanding your child as an individual (at least, that's my opinion). Contrary to popular belief, studies have shown that with gifted children, especially profoundly gifted children, mothers are more likely to know than anyone. Moms are more accurate at assessing giftedness in their children than most people are ready/willing to believe.







(I've spent a fair amount of time researching this particular subject over the past few years.







)

Farmlife-- if your baby isn't the kind who eats small, non-food items, I'd recommend "Hi Ho Cherry Oh," which is great fun. BeanBean plays it with his cousin sometimes, but I can't have it in the house because BooBah has wicked pica.







There are other card games, too; Phase 10 is loads of fun (maybe a teensy bit difficult for threes?), Old Maid, War (which you can always give a different name), Go Fish, etc. One of my favorite games was Rummy, I always loved that one... Ooooh! Othello, that game rocks! Goodness, I can hardly wait to get my hands on these...


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

Thanks for the suggestions! As others have mentioned, we are big into the animal pretending. Ds spends about 1/3 of the day being a Lemer and meeting up with other animals in random places ~ behind the couch and such.
I am working part-time evenings right now and as I was leaving this afternoon, ds gave me a kiss to put in my brain for later. He cracks me up!


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Wow, this thread took off while I was on a computer hiatus!







Hello everyone. Here is a short intro for all the newbies!
I am a single mom of 2 girls 3 and 4 years old. Scarlett is the one officially linked to this thread born Nov.02. She is definetly not a toddler and it has been awhile since she was one; although she is still my baby in a way








I think having a big sister so close in age hurried her up a little bit. She stopped nursing awhile ago (her choice) and has been potty trained for a long time. The girls share a room so we don't co-sleep anymore either. Which personally I like, b/c this mama can't function w/o sleep and I wasn't getting good sleep when I was sharing my bed.
To comment on some of the previous posts... Congrats to those trying to TTC. I can't conceive of it at this time. Maybe b/c I am a single mom, but also 2 seems like a good number to me. My sanity would be in question if I had more







. Plus, the girls are able to stay with my mom and sister now and I like being able to go out occasionally!
eilonwy- I am a libra too with a capricorn father and your right, conflict!! Scarlett is actually a double scorpio b/c her rising sign is also a scorpio. Stubborn!!
Scarlett is home sick with a fever today, just a cold. It seems like everytime she is getting well; she gets sick again. I don't know what is going around Tucson, but most of the population seems to have a nasty persistant cough. Have you seen it too Leah?
Thanks for the post in the last thread Casina. I have definetly done the 'I will hold you until you calm down' thing. And like yours Scarlett will never totally settle down, but there is a turning point in the tantrum where I know she is on her way out of the hysteria.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Nice to hear from you, Anna. We've been (knock on wood) relatively healthy here lately, except for Crystal who is always sick. We had one nasty stomach flu after Christmas but that's it. Everyone else around us is sick, though, and I use my hand santizer constantly







. I stopped drinking the wine at church, and I stayed clear of everyone with a hacking cough when I went to a party for New Years. It's weird to be so "stuck up" about germs these days, but when you have a family you could potentially bring germs home to, you can never be too careful!

Zachary has started wheezing!







I am







: and







: that we won't have the annual trip to the ER for his asthma. (I still owe on medical bills from last year's visit







...) The pollution is absolutely horrible in the valley lately, it hasn't rained for 90 days or something like that. My allergies have been bugging me today, so if anyone knows how to do a rain dance, please send the vibes down to the desert!

OK- my goal is to lose 40 pounds by summertime so that my lake friends don't have to see me like this! I'm going skiing in Tahoe in February and I can't zip up my ski pants...







: If I don't eat anything between now and then I might be able to fit into them.














:


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

I'd wondered where you all had run off too.

Hi! I am Heather and I am mom to Christopher who is 3 and David who is 16 months. I am enjoying the 3s so far except for the "throw himself on the floor" tantrums. Christopher is discovering so many new things. He has recently discovered that letters stand for something and he wants to learn how to read. Rynna got any good ideas for teaching reading? He can identify the letters in the word stop. Also he know that they make the word stop. We are on our way. Both Grant and I have been playing games with him that deal with letters because that's what he wants to do.

He is currently in preschool and loving it. He has three buddies that he plays with. The teachers have dubbed them "the 4 Musketeers". I am glad that he has friends.

He is a great big brother. Although lately he and David love to fight. I having been working on redirecting them. They love each other fiercely though.

Rynna you were asking about giftedness. I think Christopher is gifted when it comes to sound equipment. When Grant does Sound at church, Christopher wants to help him. He knows how to hook up the microphones, what the different cords are for, and how to run a sound board. It is fun watching people's eyes bug out when Christopher is walking around church with microphones in hand to put them away. He has been helping Grant with the sound equipment since he was 18 months.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

BeanBean and I are working our way through The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading. It's supposed to be for kindergarten/first grade students, but I can't imagine a child any older than 5 being willing to put up with it. Anway, as the title suggests it is very easy to use, BeanBean loves it and I actually started with BooBah just this week. (She is, like her brother, desperate to learn how to read).

Leah-- I hope Zachary is feeling better soon!







Poor little guy. Wheezing sucks







. I've been doing a fair amount of it myself lately.







It's the weather, here we've had tons of rain and it's been warm and damp (prime mold conditions) or cold and damp (super wheezy fun time







) for about a month and a half. Yick.

I just realized that I never answered the giftedness question-- my kids are both very bright. In all fairness, I started out with the expectation that they would be very bright if not gifted, simply by virtue of their genes.







BeanBean started talking very, very early and has always been extremely verbal (and social; for him, the two are a package deal). His gross motor milestones were all hit on the early side of average, but nothing to write home about; his fine motor skills seem to be right on target for his chronological age, but I think that like me, he will use his other abilities to counter that a bit (for example, he's got a veeerrrrrry long attention span, so he's willing to sit and try to tie his shoes for an hour at a time, rather than trying once or twice and giving up). We're home educating him for loads of reasons, and I tend to think of him as a k-1 student because he talks like a first grader (except when he sounds like a miniature adult







) and is, for the most part, doing k-1 work. I call it "Grammar Stage A" rather than "first grade/kindergarten" because it's totally a mix of levels, suited to BeanBean.







BooBah is still a baby when I think of schoolish things, but she's so desperate to learn... one day I may wake up and realize that she, too, is an actual homeschooler.







Right now, though, I don't think of her as a preschooler as much as a toddler (despite her obsession with words, letters, and numbers).

I could go on and on about him, I think he's a fascinating little guy, but I don't think this is the time or place for it. Anyway, the short answer is that I believe BeanBean to be moderately gifted, and BooBah to be highly or profoundly gifted. I could be entirely wrong in my assessments, but I've got loads of reasons to believe that they are in fact very, very bright little people.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:

is it just her imagination taking over at those moments?
Unfortunately not. It is b/c she does not want to be" lonely" And I swear I have never left her anywhere alone to be lonely. I guess she just misses me for that instant.
As for giftedness I don't think she is. I do think she is incredible sensitive to other people though. I think she senses stuff and that is part of her high anxiety. She did seem rather advanced up until this year so perhaps she was always a 3 year old







Sometimes I compare her and try to stop myself b/c she really is such a fantasickly funny kid who truly gets along great with her brother. I have to remember that it doesn't matter if her little friend can draw Dorothy from Wizard of Oz complete with braids and DD can really only draw a jellyfish








She is insterested in letters and can definetly tell you what every letter is but not what they all sound like. Her favorite letter is "O"
My biggest worry is her anxiety and I am trying to be as close to her as I can hoping that a need met will go away.
She wants to take different classes at the Y the next registration so maybe she just got sick of teh dance class. I don;t know. She jsut used love it and than BAM she wouldn't go in the door. I just don't know and she says she doesn't either.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

about the giftedness.... everyone has a gift in something. My daughter (whos 3) definately is not gifted in learning how to speak and read, and do things like that.... she's like a turtle..... slow but steady. Her development does get better, but I still get frustrated with her, cause she *should* know things, but that's just the way she is. I have no feelings of putting her in some sort of "speech improvement", or whatever thing... I'm a homeschooler too, so we are just taking things as they come.

What she is gifted in is mothering







, she is the best little mommy. She carries her babies around all day long, breastfeeds, pushes them in the stroller, changes their diapers, changes their clothes, wears them in a sling.... And she's the best big sister too. She will be an awesome mommy one day









She also is very good at people watching







She doesn't really get into situations till we are about to leave (like at a playgroup, or at friends)

I'm really focusing on arts and crafts, cause that's what I loved as a child( and what *I'm* gifted in), and I think my kids love it too. we do stickers, and playdough, painting, and drawing, stamping and weaving...

H really likes to help with the chores too. She puts the dirty clothes down the laundry shoot, she can help crumple paper for the fire, go retreive things for me or samaya, help pick up her toys, go to the potty all by herself (cause she's so big)

And she loves to eat







I wonder where she got that from







Her fav. is milk, any kind, but both my kids have a wide palate, and enjoy many things that other kids would scorn. I have many a time found a half eaten onion or garlic bulb on the floor!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

here you all are!

hello everyone, and my name really is casina. my kids are in odd numbers now - 3, 5, and 7. here's my 2005 slideshow of them that i made for the holidays. http://www.vimeo.com/clip=29733

i'll have to do our introductions later. see what you can figure from the photos! i guess catching up on three pages took out what's left of me for the day. and everyone is sicky anyway, so i should get to bed and be all rested for the next day ahead. and it might be pox!

i did want to comment though - some kids just really are that clingy. and it's very situational as well.

and some kids especially boys really won't forfeit the diaper until the last minute - until they are in the situation where it absolutely must change. think of it this way - there are sometimes the worst times to have to take a child to the bathroom, like checking out at walmart? or in the middle of bumper to bumper traffic?

and i put diapers on ruby sometimes when we are out of the house because she is too durned interested in public bathrooms, or if she is sick or cranky or having too much fun she will hold it and continue the miserable mood. i have had two different boys where one was devoted to diapers until dh told him no more after he turned 4, and the other stopped at 2 and could not stand to wear diapers even with a stomach virus diarrhea soon after.

i tell myself since i did diapers instead of ec, they are supposed to be a convenience after all. ruby goes back and forth. she could be totally trained, but it's not a battle i'm interested in. and meanwhile, she has been making going to the bathroom extremely elaborate, so go figure.

be back later.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Hi Casina, I was wondering when you'd get here...

Uh oh, we have wahwahs... gtg.

Okay, wahwahs resolved-- BeanBean is now sharing his cereal.







He's such a sweet big brother, it's adorable... I get a real kick out of him.

I promised myself that we'd do some real work together today (instead of me just tossing things at BeanBean and then sneaking off to do housework, as I've been doing for the past week and a half or so







). BeanBean was very disappointed yesterday; we were at my mom's house, and I forgot to bring him his own "homework" to do with his cousin while she did hers. ChibiChibi explained what she was doing to BeanBean, and was very sweet about involving him in her work.







He had fun, but he didn't have as much fun as last time when he had his own book to work in.







He was irritated with me for the rest of the afternoon.









Anyway, it's only 10 a.m. We've got plenty of time... right?


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## mamaGjr (Jul 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
here you all are!

hello everyone, and my name really is casina. my kids are in odd numbers now - 3, 5, and 7. here's my 2005 slideshow of them that i made for the holidays. http://www.vimeo.com/clip=29733

i'll have to do our introductions later. see what you can figure from the photos! i guess catching up on three pages took out what's left of me for the day. and everyone is sicky anyway, so i should get to bed and be all rested for the next day ahead. and it might be pox!

i did want to comment though - some kids just really are that clingy. and it's very situational as well.

and some kids especially boys really won't forfeit the diaper until the last minute - until they are in the situation where it absolutely must change. think of it this way - there are sometimes the worst times to have to take a child to the bathroom, like checking out at walmart? or in the middle of bumper to bumper traffic?

and i put diapers on ruby sometimes when we are out of the house because she is too durned interested in public bathrooms, or if she is sick or cranky or having too much fun she will hold it and continue the miserable mood. i have had two different boys where one was devoted to diapers until dh told him no more after he turned 4, and the other stopped at 2 and could not stand to wear diapers even with a stomach virus diarrhea soon after.

i tell myself since i did diapers instead of ec, they are supposed to be a convenience after all. ruby goes back and forth. she could be totally trained, but it's not a battle i'm interested in. and meanwhile, she has been making going to the bathroom extremely elaborate, so go figure.

be back later.


Thanks for you thoughts/observations re: diapers and pottying .
The video and your children are BEAUTIFUL!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

i realized i never introduced my self to the new comers.

i am amy momma to georgia rose. i work part time for a trade association. in my pre momma life i worked in democratic politics. we live in boston. we are only planning to have one child ...I am 39 and we also like to travel so our little 3 person family is great for that.

giftedness...... i used to think ga was advanced b/c she said her first word at 6 months and had sentences at a year but now everyone else seems to have caught up with her. she is learning spanish so maybe she'll just have an ear for languages

amy


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Regarding giftedness: Lindy seems to be advanced in the kinds of things that get classified as intellectual giftedness. I was identified as gifted when I was a kid, so that's not too surprising. But there are plenty of areas where she's not advanced at all. She's still just learning to pull her pants up, for instance, and she mostly can't do it. (Or won't. She's pretty reluctant to try things she thinks might be too hard.)

She had kind of a hard time learning to talk - in fact, about a year ago she was diagnosed with apraxia (motor planning problems that made it hard for her to string sounds together.) But then her speech started to improve so fast we stopped seeing the speech pathologist almost as soon as we started. I'm not sure whether I should see those motor planning problems as something she had that went away, or something she'll be dealing with to some extent for the rest of her life. She talks really well, but she still has a few speech peculiarities, and a tendency to be hesitant with physical stuff (which the speech pathologist thought could be related to her motor planning difficulties.)


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

casina~ yay! so glad you made it here. I was just thinking last night "where's casina?" Your video was so beautiful and w/ the music I was almost in tears, I think because I can't wait for Razi to have a sibling. There is just something so special about the connection between sisters and brothers. Anyway, feeling all warm and







after watching.

Daffodil~ Razi is the same about clothes, shoes. He won't do it. The montessori school is really into encouraging parents to help them learn to do it themselves. I can't even get him to take off or put on his slip on boots!

And it turns out that Razi doesn't really talk at school.

Razi would never even think of sitting still to learn to tie his shoes. I even have to hold him in his seat while he's eating cuz he will not sit still. But the other day, he played w/ legos for seriously 2 hours!

Kids are all over the place in learning, giftedness, etc. Thank goodness! It would be so boring if they were all the same, yk? If all kids were gifted in the same way, well then gifted would no longer exist. It makes me think of my neice who has trisomy 5, she has some serious physical delays, but when you look into her eyes you can see that her gift is this amazingly pure loving heart. sorry i'm babbling...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Yesterday I failed to initiate the bedtime ritual by 8:15. I came downstairs to find BeanBean removing his clothing; "Help me, mamma," he said, as he pulled his jeans off of his legs. "Oh wait, nevermind. I did it myself."







He undressed, used the toilet, put his pajamas on, dragged the stepstool into the bathroom and began to brush his teeth, all while I was still eating my cereal (which was what I wanted for a bedtime snack). It was the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life.







I was telling my mom how impressed I am that BeanBean can actually brush all of the surfaces of his teeth, and that he remembers to do it without being reminded, and she said, "How'd you manage that, BeastieBeast still won't..."







I think that's happened for the same reason that I didn't brush my teeth regularly until I moved out; mom doesn't brush hers!!





















My kids see me brush my teeth every evening, so they know a bit about how it's done, you know? It's one of those things that kids need to *see* adults doing to get the hang of, it doesn't work if you just talk about it.









BooBah is also all about dressing herself. The trouble is, she likes to put on her brother's underpants. She really desperately wants to wear underpants, poor kid, and she's nowhere near potty learned (occasionally she makes peepees in the potty, and she can put herself on the toilet but that's it). She loves to put pants on, pajama, jeans, or overalls, but she tends to try to put shirts on her legs rather than her head.







Well, not always... it's like she can't tell whether it's a shirt or pants until she tries to put it on.







It's pretty funny, actually.

We did lots of "work" today, and Bean was happy. BooBah was happy, too. It's a good thing.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Christopher can put on his clothes and shoes and that has been a great help to me. Gives me more time to get David and myself dressed. I just lay out his clothes and shoes and he takes care of the rest.

Lately David has been trying to put on his own shoes and the other night he tried to put on a pair of Christopher's underwear.







He loves to imitate his brother!


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

my DD gets herself dressed sometimes too. It's pretty funny, as she usually comes out of the room with everything inside-out *and* backwards


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

okay, my intro. i'm going to really describe all the kids. i waited because i really want to say more about reed. he is one of the original forces.

i'm 35, my dh is 30. my folks are both from taiwan and i was born here. i mention this because in most ways, i am learning to parent myself or learn how i want to be, in a direr way than some. i don't go to a job. i earn half of what he makes







we all sleep on two queen mattresses and the rest of the house is used up - my kids don't have rooms and this is starting to be an issue, though i do believe in the communal living.

i've been wallowing in the role of mamma since reed was born. certainly his personality demanded it. in my mind i have been working towards continuum concept ideals for years, to focus on the family and do what i'm doing as i raise the kids, rather than being child centered. but i am just finally starting to claim more for myself in the past six months. like bathing regularly. growing my hair. listening to music. it certainly has much to do with ruby being so "old" as three. i truly believe that most tough family dynamics with littles deal with being three and younger and spacings.
i still plan to be a rock star one day, hope to start some type of nonprofit with slings and birth and postpartum. will probably end up starting some kind of catering or restaurant eventually because that's where all our job experience is in. and i happen to have a talent for cooking. i've always had sleep disorder and am a twitchy type person that must be feel busy and creative all the time. i'm loud and blunt. i have a compulsive artistic type personality that is learning how to regulate better for the greater good of my family.

past six months have been a definite emotional upswing for us, mainly because dh got a job at whole foods. financial is rather icky (please explain to me my new 550 electricity bill?), but i finally feel like the battle of where we belong and what the heck are we doing - for the past 7 years - is gone. it's another story.

we are unschooling. started as a combination of reed and terrible local alternatives. but also our need for control and lack of faith in the lack of village where i live. i see it as a natural extension of being mamma - being a guide to the world, helping when needed. theoretically. actuality is very loud and messy. as life can be.
we are loud and not that well behaved and usually dirty. we are fun though. it's never boring here. right now is about learning to live with each other, finding the balance on regularity and spontaneity with all our personalities, figuring how to make the household run to our liking, how we deal with the world outside our microcosm. being a family as a team as part of the world: that's my curriculum.

reed is the pure heart. has the ultimate typical male attributes. he is big - a head shorter than me and 75 lbs and clumsy though he can focus the gross motor skills above and beyond and has been able to truly physically hurt us for years. he is uninterested in emotions and interchanges outside of him. he wants to know how objects and nature work, but is oblivious to the regular parts of life. like he has just started getting out of the bathtub when he is done instead of yelling and me informing him that he could step out, where he would say, oh, okay like it never occurred to him all these years. in our local school setting, i think he would be given all the labels. adhd. aspergers. oppositional defiant. this is the kid that would ask me to make it quit raining. that began to understand after 6 that we go to bed every day. that i worried he would beat up every kid he came near including my own until this past year. he has a sensitive radar to fear and anger which he has converted from striking back to behaving like a foul mouthed gorilla.

he has been my biggest teacher. his ego is so strong. he is as solid as a rock physically and metaphorically. he needs less sleep than i do and this was a bigger issue before....though this week he's been waking them all before dawn..... he still hates to be alone but can stand a bit of it now. he rarely self starts and is playing alone better. he is just starting to read. funny, because i have quit sweating it. i was worried that he was feeling powerlessness due to not being able to read, tell time, interpret people's cues easily, my waning attention on him. now i figure i have preserved that innocence since his body wasn't ready - which i relate to the fine motor skill he genuinely lacks. he can now build a suggested 10y lego. it is rare for him to write and draw he still gets mad because it is not exactly what he pictured. his hands amaze me he lacks the big muscles for the thumb and side under the pinky, and between the thumb and index. for me, my hands are close to everything.

on top of it, he is not dumb. he understands math and abstracts intuitively. he has been speaking well - enunciating clearly at one. he was one of those kids that spoke like any adult at three, just mostly about himself. this and him being the oldest and so big really fooled me since i had little experience with kids before him. i really expected way too much from him. and now, well, if i want him to quit dripping all over the house after that bath, i will have to rub him holding his arms with the towel and show him the pattern until he gets it. i feel bad sometimes that now at 7.5, i am finally feeling able to do these things.

clay just turned 5 and he is in the general sense the opposite of reed. he is also the main source of angst in the family now - some of it due to his age. where reed and ruby's personalities resemble damen's, though they look more like me, clay has all my bred in issues. so reed is teaching me about life and my husband, clay is teaching me about myself. ruby is teaching me about being a girl.
i would call clay the big secret treasure. he is bright and all too aware and the most fun when he is up. he is sneaky and conniving and agile and highly sensitive and knows what to do and is able to do it if he isn't worked up. i think the main problem is that he is not feeling useful, though he mainly complains about reed and dh. all the things they do that irritate him, i have learned to live with and accept, but fundamentally can grate as on me as well. so i don't know what we are in for in that respect. we got him a new computer....and his requirements for emotional space have dropped dramatically. but he worries about the things he wants, the things that haven't happenned, remembers every way he has been slighted. combined with reed and dh's obliviousness, it gets messy. clay is, for now honestly, my favorite child. he is layers and layers of beauty which is sometimes lots and lots of pain and anger that he hurls onto everyone else. i know it has to do with rediscovering myself, learning to turn my faults into assets. but deep down, we get each other. and it hurts too, trying to figure how to cope and help him. it's very different from the understanding ruby and i have, which is just as deep, just female. i've never had to live with me before. yikes!

ruby is a bright star. her charisma oozes everywhere. she sounds like a cartoon character. she can do everything. she wants to do everything. then she just suddenly can't and i have to remind myself she just turned three. she has the propensity to become the biggest nag ever. she does stuff that none of the males had picked up. like she permanently took over feeding our outside cats after she turned two. it's been like having a light turned on for me - seeing how the female can reach her mind in so many directions, be sensitive to mood, and multitask. i thought reasoning with kids was a myth until her. i won't know how much is girlness and rubyness unless i have another girl. but it is like having a mini me. and girlshrieks are definitely worse in some ways. lately i keep telling her to quit it or go away due to her demands and meddling. yes i need a pattern to do better. her curiousity combined with her ability and awareness at this age is a new parenting experience for me. especially in the kitchen.

example: yesterday i woke up to the smell of burning toast. she had plugged in the toaster, which involved some climbing of course and toasted about fifteen pieces of bread, fooling with the dial, and toasting some pieces repeatedly. then was forcefeeding it to everyone persistently. yes, i'm proud and annoyed.

that's enough and too much. oh yah, clay and ruby are still nursing. not much; mostly to go to bed.

and yes, i want more. i have an iud though.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

so what is controversial about march of the penguins? i don't know if most 3s would make it through the whole thing. i certainly can't find many adult men that can. it is a cool little movie though.
the all time favorite first movies for us: my neighbor totoro and kiki's delivery service.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I love Kiki's Delivery Service, that movie is so cute!









Casina, in some ways Ruby reminds me of BeanBean.







He's quite the nurturing caretaker, always wanting to help with things. Last night I was miserable and in agony (really horrible sciatica, third-trimester crap) and he hugged me and said, "Don't worry, mamma, I'm gonna take good care of you!" He was a sugar muffin all night, and he kept trying to help. Of course, he really can't do all of the things that he wants to do (he was going to pick me up?!?!) but he certainly tries. He's a lovebug.







I think it's just a Scorpio empathy thing, he's always been very sensitive to the emotions of others, especially me.

Last night, I started reading Speaking of Boys. It seems fun so far, but some of the stuff about how mothers relate to their boys is off base for me. I know that it's true in the general sense, for example, that women who know that they're carrying boys describe their kicks as "strong" in utero, and that they hold boy babies differently and talk to them less,





















, but I really don't/didn't do that sort of thing. I snuggled with BeanBean and kissed him and told him he was a pretty baby and a sweet baby all the time.







He was! I also held BooBah standing up a lot, because she demanded it; it was more a matter of responding to their individual cues than it was me treating them differently based on their sexes. BellyBean's kicks are most assuredly strong (and quite painful), and she's a ton of work to carry. I freely admit that the work involved in carrying her made me think, initially, that she was a boy because BeanBean was difficult to carry and BooBah was very easy, but knowing that she's a girl hasn't made it any less strenuous! She's still, quite literally, busting my ass, and I'm hoping that this pregnancy finishes up around 37-38 weeks, because any longer and I'm afraid I might hurt someone.









At any rate: I read something in Speaking of Boys last night that made me kind of sad-- basically, that boys grow up to be men and that at some point, their mother ceases to be the most important woman in their lives. I guess I've always known that, but reading about it from a different perspective kind of made me sad... I was looking at my smooth skinned, snugglebugging boy and thinking about how he just climbs up and throws his arms around me and kisses my cheeks for no reason at all, just to say, "I love you, Mamma," and I just wish that would last forever... but of course, if I do my job well, it won't.







: A daughter is yours for the rest of her life, but a son's only yours till he finds a wife, isn't that how it goes?







I'm already sad about this, probably because he seems so *old* of late. He's growing up sooooo quickly!

Last night, though, he said, "Remember how you said that when the baby comes out, there will be milk in my nursies? Please remember that I am allowed to nurse when the baby comes out."







I guess in some ways he's still little.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

ruby and reed were the big kickers. clay was hardly there it seems, just large as heck.

i think it's true, the losing of the men. of course this is more so in our independent and isolated culture. the reason the orient and others always favored boys is because they would gain the wives and their dowries and have lots of power. i pointed this out the other day to a friend that just found out she's pg with her fifth boy, no girls yet.

here's the story related to me that defines the boys from the girls in a general sense. i may have related it before. there's an experiment with a room full of toys the boy enters the room and is told to find the ball. he picks up the first toy he sees and plays with it, and then the next, until he comes across the ball. the girl walks in and scans the room, and gets the ball.
certainly we are good finders. clay is a good finder too. but he still has the honed focus, ykim?
i always wish i had treated reed like he was smaller, and still do with his lumbering size. please, do it for me. they are little. they seem huge esp with new ones and of course it is a biological thing, to push them from the nest. it really helps me to be around bigger kids seeing how sometimes they are not capable of what i expect either.
if anything, my boys are more snuggly. ruby keeps finding stuff to do.


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## Mona (May 22, 2003)

enjoyed reading the posts from today









only have a sec, but damn i wish i could reason w/ kathrynn. there is NO reasoning w/ her. she is as stubborn and strong willed as they come.
/sigh
still working on the weaning as a result.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

In my family the difference between male and female is gigantic.







Girls tend to be way more sensitive about EVER-Y-THING. Every bump and scrape has to be acknowledged immediately, hugs given, and tears dried. Boys, naturally, seem to be more of a rough and tumble type- fall, see if anyone witnessed the injury, laugh, get up, dust yourself off, and continue the reckless activity. That's the biggest issue we have right now- trying to teach Julianna when it's appropriate to scream her head off in a crazed state of upset, and when it's appropriate to just get on with life without totally freaking out.








I am at a loss as to how I am supposed to organize lessons with these two. I don't even know where to start. Julianna doesn't even know her colors, while Zachary is recognizing letters. I have thought about making an artsy/crafty "My Colors" book and a "My Shapes" book with each of them, then moving on to "My Letters" and "My Numbers". Julianna does recognize basic shapes and can count to ten, but colors are just flying through one ear and out the other. She absolutely can not grasp the concept at all. She will do MUCH better, in my opinion, in the special needs preschool program, with professionals who are trained in the how and why of teaching/learning. I defintely don't have the patience for it.







Zachary and I do very well together- he is very eager to please, and wants to learn everything he possibly can, whereas Julianna will immediatley give up when something is too difficult. She is really excited about preschool, I do hope she qualifies! Her eval is on Monday, so please send us some good vibes! Zachary has always told me "I want to stay home with you, Julianna can go to school." But just this morning he told me "I want to go to real school."







I always said I would give him a choice because thats what my parents did (of course we chose to stay home!!!), but now that my son has chosen "wrong"







I don't know what to do... I started touring and researching preschools a few months ago "just in case", but I don't know... My kids rarely have babysitters and I just don't know if I can trust my one and only 'natural' child to complete strangers. Maybe I'm just being weird. Rynna, Sarita, Casina, help me out!








As for getting dressed- J has been doing it for quite some time now. It must be a girl thing! She was so darn determined to put on her own shoes to go outside! Zachary STILL doesn't put his own shoes on, he whines and cries until someone helps him.
How do I get rid of the nighttime diapers? Do I wait for them to stop peeing at night, or do I take away the diaps and get up with them when they wet their beds???
Do any of you do the "counting thing"? I mean, when your DCs are doing something 'wrong' do you do the old "1... 2... 3!"??? I always said I would never do that, it sounds so abosultely ridiculous to me, but it WORKS! I haven't even told the kids what it means when I get to 3, all I have to do it say "1... 2!!!" in a stern voice and they start hoppin'. Please tell me I am not the only one who does this...







:


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
My kids rarely have babysitters and I just don't know if I can trust my one and only 'natural' child to complete strangers. Maybe I'm just being weird. Rynna, Sarita, Casina, help me out!









I don't know if I can help you... I'm still irritated with my sister for sending ChibiChibi to school.














Quite frankly, I don't trust the public school system with any of the kids in my life. I think that they're working extra hard to screw certain kids over, and kids like my nieces (read: girls who aren't white) are pretty high on the list.

It never occurred to me to give BeanBean a choice about this... then again, he's only three and it hasn't come up. I mean, I'm all about kids making their own decisions, but legally in PA I'm not required to send a child to school until the year in which they turn 8 during the first two weeks of the semester; in other words, September of 2011. Sending BeanBean to school now would involve a lot of work and I don't really have the energy for it, so I never made it an option in BeanBean's mind. It's like, I believe kids should be able to make their own choices about food, but if I don't keep candy in the house, it won't be an option, kwim? When he's old enough to ask for candy, we can talk about it and he can make an informed decision, but before that happens, I'm not buying it.

Does this make any sense? I've got a wicked headache and bad heartburn right now, it's making it hard to think straight...









Quote:

How do I get rid of the nighttime diapers? Do I wait for them to stop peeing at night, or do I take away the diaps and get up with them when they wet their beds???
BeanBean has been dry at night longer than he's been dry during the day; I ask him to pee before he goes to bed, and then, if I think it's necessary or he's gone to bed early, I'll wake him up when *I* get up to pee or when Mike gets up to go to work. This isn't generally necessary as BeanBean, more often than not, will wake up when he needs to pee. He starts to have a wahwah, I say, "Bean, go pee!" and he does, whereupon he feels instantly better and happy with the world again. He comes back to bed, curls up in a ball, and goes right back to sleep.







This happens more often than not, I'd say 68 of the past 70 nights he's awakened (or half-wakened) on his own because he needed to pee, but in his super-sleepy state he's not able to articulate anything at all.









I don't feel badly about half waking him up when I have to, especially when I can carry him (which I can't right now, because my sciatica has been *horrific* for the past few days







); It's a lot easier on all of us if he pees in the toilet. It's cheaper, it's cleaner, and of course BeanBean wakes up tickled pink that he's been wearing underpants all night and he's not "peepees."







He doesn't remember it when I half-wake him.

Quote:

Do any of you do the "counting thing"? I mean, when your DCs are doing something 'wrong' do you do the old "1... 2... 3!"??? I always said I would never do that, it sounds so abosultely ridiculous to me, but it WORKS! I haven't even told the kids what it means when I get to 3, all I have to do it say "1... 2!!!" in a stern voice and they start hoppin'. Please tell me I am not the only one who does this...







:








God help me, but I do.







: We can go be ashamed together, I also swore I'd never do it.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
Do any of you do the "counting thing"? I mean, when your DCs are doing something 'wrong' do you do the old "1... 2... 3!"??? I always said I would never do that, it sounds so abosultely ridiculous to me, but it WORKS! I haven't even told the kids what it means when I get to 3, all I have to do it say "1... 2!!!" in a stern voice and they start hoppin'. Please tell me I am not the only one who does this...







:









I do 1-2-3 Magic. It's a book you can read and I haven't read it but know the basics. This is how I see it. I make a statement about what needs to be done. ex: Razi you need to come get dressed. If he doesn't come I say, Do you want to come by yourself or do you want me to come get you? (not a threat just a question) No answer, or no respose and I say, "razi, that's one...that's 2 and he comes. I very rarely have to say three. But the consequence of reaching 3 is that I come get him instead of him doing it himself. sometimes the concequence is something different. Yes, sometimes he gets timeouts on the recliner... I always have a consequence in my head before I start counting. also, I always make sure he knows his choice about what he can do. Maybe it's imposing my agenda, but if I didn't do that nothing would ever happen around here, like we would never leave the house and he wouldn't eat anything. It's nearly impossible to get him to sit still for meals.

I want to write more but razi really needs me to look in his mirror that is balanced on a ruler on the back of a chair!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Thanks for the input, Rynna...








I really like your idea, Sarita... If I ever do have to get to 3 I'll make sure it is as well thought out as your plan. I am really trying to maintain consistency with these two monkeys!
Zachary just told me "Mama, I'm ready to ni-night." I think it is so cute how he always says it 'wrong' like that!


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## Honeybee'smama (Mar 26, 2005)

Hello, I just saw this and thought I would introduce myself! You all seem like a talkative bunch, I am not sure that I will be able to keep up!

My name is Cyndi, I am 27, and have been married to dh for about 5 years. Sonja just turned 3 a few days after Christmas, and we are expecting our second the end of next month. Dh is self employed and works at home, he does wood working and sells at various markets and fairs. I am currently substitute teaching and some day will teach middle school.

Sonja figured out the whole potty thing this summer and only rarely has accidents (usually standing on the toilet turning on the light so that she can see in the bathroom). She has been fairly consistently staying dry at night the last two months or so. She seems to go in spurts of a week or two of wetting the bed. As far as sleeping goes, she starts in her bedroom (right next to ours) and either comes to our room in the night or early in the morning.

For the most part Sonja is a funny, creative, happy, and energetic little girl. Though the last month or so we have been dealing with lots of fussing and whining which drives me and dh crazy!

I look forward to getting to know some other mama's of 3 year olds! Most of my friends have little little ones or no kids at all and can't always relate.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Leah~I think no matter what you do, consistantcy and follow thru are the big things. Like I'm some kinda professional, lol!

As far as leaving w/ strangers, hmm, I met w/ Razi's teacher a few different times and I really like her. Any time I've felt worried about him for some reason I talk to her about it and she has always had good advise. I don't know, the first day of school I was a complete wreck. I don't know what to say. It's hard.

Razi requested to go to school. I don't know if he had any real idea of what it meant but he was ready to go w/ his little backpack on and everything. It's lost some of it appeal but he is now fine to go in and is glad when I pick him up. I know that not all the kids are nice to Razi. He's comes home and tells me about it. At first I freaked out and was upset that this was happening. I realized tho, that in life, not everyone is nice and it's really important to learn how to deal w/ it.

He learned a funny but great way to put on his coat at school. He lays his coat on the floor w/ the inside up and stands 'by the tag'. Then he puts his arms in the holes and then flips it over his head! It's so funny!!

okay, blabbing..

Honeybee'smama~ Welcome! I know what you mean about friends that aren't on the same page. I'm running out of friend that don't have kids, I think I really only have 2 left. My MIL watched Razi one night and I went out w/ a friend and I didn't know what to talk about! (and the music was too loud and the drinks too expensive...







)


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

123 is generally a good thing, though i never really recognized that til now, and certainly never anticipated using it. it shows there is a limit -in a pattern that is respectful.

i can't say that i can reason ruby into anything these days. she is just defying it all. but she does see that i have hot frying oil and the french fries will burn her and defies me anyway.

nighttime diapers - i have to say i have just waited until they can hold it. i haven't the energy. and if i don't make clay pee before bed we have a scene in the middle of the night. which hasn't happenned in awhile now that i'm thinking about it. it seemed to go on forever.
taking away dipes would mean: a towel and waterproofing. taking the child to the bathroom when they wake because they need to pee. or having a time in the middle of the night.

i don't see the point in making a production after they have wet a bed. i am not an expert here though. i think if i spent the energy training my boys to go in the middle of the night, then they would sleep a little more in the morning.

leah, you are just going to have to figure what you feel about zach and school. i happen to be in a place where the schools and overall parenting is terrible, and i live next door to a noisy daycare, so that only reinforces my decisions. my kids do have a choice about going to school, or at least clay and reed do. you can always try it and quit it and go back or whatever.

amidst it all i just find the basics of schooling impractical for my boys. they cannot be contained quietly in a chair for ten minutes, much less from 8:30 to 3:30 plus more for transportation. it is imperative to me that they can pee whenever they want. it is important that they can drink water if they are thirsty, and eat when they want. here they combine lunch and recess together into 45 minutes, and no other recess.

i don't care much about traditional learning. i'd rather my kids grow up and know how to speak out when needed, survive emotionally tough situations, know how to cook and grow food and take care of sick spouses, understand decision making, sew a button, respect their bodily limits, be passionate and proactive in what they believe in, learn how to let the moments of joy seep in, have and understanding of their belonging in the world, et cetera etcetera, rather than have an extensive vocabulary or teach calculus. of course, i have faith that they will learn all the book stuff anyway. both me and dh have analytical minds and are compulsive readers.

i do also think boys are a year behind girls for what they expect as appropriate behaviour in school. i always think it is funny that education concentrating on the 3Rs was originally reserved for males. because i think females do it fabulously.

recently i've seen that reed Could do it, without being a total frazzle. but there are many other issues, especially locally. i know that there are good schools. i was in some and saw some in the midwest. any friends i have that were homeschooling in louisiana that moved out of state have found schools that they love.

so alot is about you leah, and also about zach. if it is a halfday program with people that respect kids and other kids and parents you like. if zach is naturally social it is easier earlier. i can say for me though, as they get older it becomes more apparent if there is a need for outside activities and social contact. certainly there have been times recently that i wished that the schools were decent enough that i could even try it. there is a potentially beautiful energy with a posse of kids in a loose structure.

i'm not usually quite this talky.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saritasmile*
He learned a funny but great way to put on his coat at school. He lays his coat on the floor w/ the inside up and stands 'by the tag'. Then he puts his arms in the holes and then flips it over his head! It's so funny!!

That's the way I taught Lindy to put on her coat. She learned to do it before she was two, and it's the only piece of clothing she can put on easily. A lot of people have never seen a kid flip on a coat that way, and they laugh and say what a cool thing it is when they see Lindy do it.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
i don't care much about traditional learning. i'd rather my kids grow up and know how to speak out when needed, survive emotionally tough situations, know how to cook and grow food and take care of sick spouses, understand decision making, sew a button, respect their bodily limits, be passionate and proactive in what they believe in, learn how to let the moments of joy seep in, have and understanding of their belonging in the world, et cetera etcetera, rather than have an extensive vocabulary or teach calculus. of course, i have faith that they will learn all the book stuff anyway. both me and dh have analytical minds and are compulsive readers.


Casina I am always so inspired by your motherly/wordly wisdom. It is a privilege to 'know' you and all the mommas on this thread. I think about this for georgia so much .... just not as eloquently. We are looking at preschools for next year and schools beyond that. Right now she attends a family daycare which has become like family to us. Her DCP Isabel was crying to me b/c she realized next September she would be loosing both her daughter to college and georgia to preschool. Since that conversation I have been seriously considering leaving her there next year. I am starting to feel that an environment where she is truly loved and can just play all day may be better for her. The logistics of keeping her there are tough for us. We live and now both work in the city and she is in the suburbs where DH worked until this year. My only concern is that she may at some point in the year next year get 'bored' with just playing all day. She might be ready for more curriculum. B/c of her dec birth day we will after another year after next year in which we could do preschool or even pre-k at some of the schools we would like her to go to.

The school this is getting complex too. There is a pretty decent for urban schools elementary in our neighborhood. The population is very diverse as you would expect from a city school both racially and economically. There are also some first rate private schools that are completely in line with my values, have teaching styles I like etc (emilio, waldorf, montessori) but they are lily white and full of families with tons of $$$.

I am going to print your post for dh husband to read. We have been thinking about writing a sort of mission statement for our family. We sometimes have values and goals that are in conflict (not that his and mine are in conflict rather the goals seems mutually exclusive) and we would like to sort of get down what our core values as a family are (which could obviously change). For example we both quit pretty high paying jobs so we could have a sane family life. We now make less then half of what we 'could' be making. Having made that choice we don't really want ga in a school full of rich kids feeling like she is missing out on something. We also like to travel and like to expose her to travel. This means our daily operating budget is reduced even more to make $$ for trips. We hope these choices will develop in her a love of travel and that she will not value things. My worry is it will backfire and she'll want to make up for all of the things she never had later in life.

Ok now I have been rambling too long. GA and daddy are at tot shabbot and I need to get our kitchen unpacked while they are gone.

Amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I've seen kids put their coats on that way.







It's a favorite of lots of preschool and kindergarten teachers for helping kids who don't already know how to put their jackets on.







BeanBean can put his arms in his sleeves, but can't start his zipper on his own yet.







I think it's pretty typical; I specifically asked my mom if she thought that most kindergarteners could start their own zippers and she said she thought it was probably about 50/50 in September.

BooBah can already put her arms in the sleeves on her own, no problem, and she's working on starting zippers but it's a bit beyond her at this point. I'm not concerned.









More thoughts on home education: The wonderful thing about home education is that you don't *have* to do anything. It means that BooBah and I can sit and write letters over and over again while BeanBean colors pictures in a workbook, or that both kids can spend the entire day jumping on the bed pretending to be airplanes or gymnasts or whatever.







There's something to be said for knowing a bit about your child's learning style and their own natural inclinations, but most teachers really don't know any more about the subject than anyone else with a library card.







The mechanics of teaching is something that teachers have to learn by experience, and as a parent you've already gained specifically applicable experience just by being with your kids all day for years. I know that there are teachers who would look at BeanBean right now and say, "He's gifted, if he would only sit still for a few minutes he could be a really great kid." and there are others who would say, "He can't sit still so he can't be all that bright, we'll just discipline him when he acts up and teach him to conform." Neither of which is, in my opinion, the case; he's _already_ a really great kid, and he sits still exactly as long as he needs to sit still. Some would say that he's not ready to do any formal academic work because he can be wild, but I disagree-- he's certainly not ready to sit in a classroom for 8 hours, but he's more than ready to learn to read and count by 2's and 5's and do basic math and such. He's proving it every day.

There are lots of great resources to help you figure out your kids' learning styles, as well as information about various home education methodologies (i.e. unschooling, ecclectic, classical, etc) and which might be best suited to your family situation. I consider myself child-inspired classical, I'm way too tense to unschool.







It's working well for us thus far (though of course, we've only just begun







). There's a great thread over in Learning at Home and Beyond for people home educating preschool aged children with lots of great information and general chattiness going on.







You wouldn't be the only one working with kids at different levels, even at the same age.


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

Hey Casina will you talk about your iud or PM please? I am think of getting one next week. Do you like it? Any side effects? Is it the copper one? Thanks ~Anna


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## Honeybee'smama (Mar 26, 2005)

Wow, so much to think about and look into with schools! I must admit I have not really done much research or looking in our area. With dd's Dec. birthday she could start this fall or next. We are in no rush though! Right now she has two days a week in child care that we







! Emily (dcp) homeschools her own nine year old as well as the child care so she is awsome about the sort of educating in the everday activity kind of stuff. The other days of the week she is home with either me or dh.

I always feel a little funny in discusions about schooling. I substitute in public schools and will eventually end up teaching in public schools. However, I am very supportive of homeschooling (though we probably won't do it) and other alternative schools. I am still not sure what school situation dd will end up in, but probably not the traditional public school.
I love the flipping the coat over the head technique. We will have to give that a try!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

the thing is, the word school means so much in one word and has different meanings for everyone.

honeybee, if i lived in portland i probably wouldn't be 'where' i am.

again, i tend to see schools as the extension of the community and the beliefs of the parents. of course it isn't that simplistic. but i don't even truly see my children as they are and whether i am succeeding most of the time with homeschooling and staying home. often they are large hungry whining monsters i'm just keeping at bay. (i'm working on it!)

but then i see members of my homeschoolgroup. the children are simply beautiful. the teenagers are astonishing. their faces and hearts are open, and they are a pleasure to be around. and my kids fit right in. so if i were picking a school, i would look at the kids first. i would have to find them likable and want them to be a pleasant group around my own kids, at all the grade levels. this would give me a good indication of how they are treated at home and at school, regardless of credentials and styles. and i would guess that all of us here are conscientious parents. or simply trying. so school or not, we mammas are the original influence because we are active. school is not everything. it just happens to take the same hours to deal with a 40 hr work week. don't give school THAT much credit. that's what my parents did and most of the people here do - expect the school to do all the parenting and give up the responsibility. that is the big mistake - losing the social responsibility. and i'm missing some of that too. i have a good friend that has her child in public school because of their beliefs in it. but there's just too much i see that i don't like.

lilmiss, i have the ten year copper paragard. it works as it should. i am surprised my body hasn't kicked it out after three years. i got it to salve my marriage. and it has. i am anemic at times, and have always had heavy seven day periods. so this exacerbates it. the cramps are like teenage sometimes. i hate it around af which i have now, but am more accustomed after all this time. i don't feel it and i got it even though i have hypersensitive skin and it goes against my general ideals of whole bodies, keeping a foreign object in me. but it's what was needed and does the job, and i'm thankful for it - my marriage wouldn't be where it is without it. i know that theoretically i can get it out in a jiffy without side effects.

so i was thinking last night how there has been multiple mention of obstinate and clingy behaviour. i've been just living with it thinking ruby has a cold or is fighting one and it will eventually go away - sorry if i seem so lackadaisical..... but anyway, when behaviours get extreme, and obviously is age related, it is usually an emotional spurt. often for littles dealing with independence and dependence - growing up. just stick to your regular boundaries, try to validate and respect the need. now lets see if i can follow my own words.

i'm feeling a little weird, my fil asked my mil for a divorce. after 30 yrs and four grown kids. i'm scared and pissed off for her. i'm impressed by how my dh is handling it.

amy, don't ever worry about stuff backfiring. practice diverting that energy into something else. yes, me and a friend joke about how our kids will rebel and be the kinds of people we despise when they are extra contrary. but i think it is impossible. or that if they are such opposite types superficially, they will feel loved and know the basics of nutrition, even if they fail to practice it. even my own folks - i loathed and feared them growing up and felt they failed me for a long time, and it was the basis of avoiding their mistakes that i began parenting with. but i looked at me and my brother and sister at christmas. we are fine. my parents did okay in some parts, or maybe they didn't have much to do with it after all. and most of their grief is about all the decisions they made. not too long ago my mom told me maybe if we hadn't moved to louisiana i would have ended up at harvard and implied i could have married someone with wealth or potential (she likes dh, just wishes we had money) HA HA HA. i didn't even finish college. and i was already purposely doing no homework before high school. and i like the way i am. i wouldn't trade all my terrible learning experiences for any of that. now that i'm relatively rested and not in the midst of crisis, that is.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Thanks for the link, Rynna. I will check it out.









I liked your ideas on schooling/unschooling, Casina.







You are so wise. And Julianna sounds a lot like Ruby in the defiant behavior. It doesn't matter what we are doing, Julianna will argue to do the complete opposite. It's hillarious and annoying at the same time.

I guess my views on homeschooling would be a mixture of classic and unschooling, if there is such a thing? That's what my mom did, anyway... We'd have days when we did absolutely no acedemic/book work, but we learned a heck of a lot about every day life. We traveled tons, driving back and forth from WA and AZ, we backpacked in OR and Canada, we raised chickens, turkeys, horses, dogs and rabbits. We grew food, and cooked it. We made clothes and quilts. We entered our projects in the fair exhibits. My mom made us watch Anne Frank's Diary and Schindler's List for 'history' and we all cried. My brother and my dad put a new engine in our car. We learned so much more by not being "taught" with a strict curriculum and schedule, but we did fill in our workbooks when it was required. So I was hoping to do something like that for my kids- a little mixture of everything. I want to keep it fun, and interesting, for all of us.

I didn't have a problem with public schools as a student, but now as a parent I have some major issues... If I do "let" Zachary go to school it will be a private school, and you better believe I will be involved in every aspect of his learning there. Crystal goes to public school obviously, and Julianna may go to preschool there, but the special education program is way different than regular ed, and I have a hand in what goes on.

I am not in a hurry to phase out the nighttime diaps- in fact, I am just fine with sleeping through the night! I know it is laziness on my part, but they'll get it sooner or later, right? I remember wetting the bed until I was 4 or so- I was such a deep sleeper! I still use Pull-Ups for them on long car trips- I was sick of washing those darn carseat covers. Plus, in a bizarre way, the kids really like their diapers- the whole ritual of picking out the jammies and the diaper at bedtime. I think they like having that little bit of baby-ness still around...

If I hadn't miscarried in July I would most likely be holding my newborn right now... (DH's ex-wife had her third little girl recently, and she found out she was pregnant when I did.) She is 26 and has been divorced twice. This is her third daughter, fourth child, with the third father (different one for all the kids but two). I can't help but be jealous of her. Why should she have another baby to put on state health insurance, and add on more food stamps and WIC checks and government assistance money??? The universe is crazy that way...









I have baby fever, to say the least. I so want another one right now! Ask me again in two weeks and I will say that I am content with the ones I already have...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Leah-- I totally understand not being in a hurry to get rid of nighttime diapers.







I have mixed feelings about BeanBean being out of them. On one hand, he'd need large fuzzi bunz and I don't have any; on the other, I already feel like I have problems with treating him fairly because he's so "old" in so many ways... if he was in diapers, I could at least have that bit of "babyness" to hold on to. Right now, all I have left is the fact that he's in a rear-facing carseat, and that will change when we put BellyBean's seat in (obviously no later than BellyBean's birth







).

Then again, I still desperately need large fuzzi bunz for BooBah...







Anyone have some that they'd be willing to trade? BeanBean trained out of mediums and petites, so I've got a bunch of those, but BooBah has hips and buns and puts out an *extreme* amount of urine so she needs larges (at least!) that can be stuffed to within an inch of their lives and worn under wool to keep us from floating out of bed in the morning.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I pm'ed you, Rynna...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

well, one of the things that I felt worried about w/ Razi's school is what kind of parenting style do the parents of these kids have? yk, cuz it greatly influences the way kids are obviously. well, there are a few mama's that I'm getting to know (whose kids are new this year too) and both of these mamas extended breast fed. Now I still don't know much else but I thought that was really cool. Razi also really likes these two kids and I've invited them over to a play group today. Razi is so excited and I'm excited to hopefully be meeting moms that I have things in commom w/ . They both subscribe to mothering mag too. So there's potential!

gtg!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I need friends like that, Sarita!







Hope it goes well today and everyone has fun.

Well, I *think* DH is ok with TTC again... I brought it up last night (after he'd already had some wine







) and he didn't say much... But first thing this morning he asked me "So, were you serious about wanting another baby?" and I said "Yes", and he said "Oh, I thought you were just drunk when you told me that."







: Not exactly the best reaction, but I think I can persuade him... I just know that if I don't have another one I will spend the rest of my life wondering 'WHAT IF...?' kwim?


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
I just know that if I don't have another one I will spend the rest of my life wondering 'WHAT IF...?' kwim?









I know 100% what you mean! Dp was slightly balking at the idea last night and he did bring up some good points but I really don't care, I know it won't be easy but I always knew I'd have 2. It's weird, I can feel that there is someone waiting for me to be their mom. I don't really know how to describe it.









Leah it would be so fun to be preggo together!! more fun if we lived closer, but oh well.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

You should see if you can find guys who have more kids than you have to talk to your husbands about it.







I have told Mike that I'm already a bit bummed out at the idea of stopping at four, even though I know that we have no money and





















. I totally thought that he was just going to write me off, but he's made an effort to talk to other guys at work about having more than 2/3/4/5 kids, and what he's heard has encouraged him to keep an open mind.







It's a good thing.


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## nancy926 (Mar 10, 2003)

Hi everyone,
I sometimes followed the Nov/Dec 02 thread but don't remember if I ever posted....I have a Nov 02 "baby", and a new wee one, both girls. We love them dearly but are stopping at 2.

Sascha is my 3-year-old...she is quite the "threenager" sometimes, I gotta say. Melodramatic to a fault! But she's also insightful, fun, silly and fascinating to watch.

She's very physical and loves jumping and climbing, and is way more coordinated than I was as a kid (or probaby am now). She will not allow me to pick out her clothes (she can dress herself except for snaps and zippers on pants), and usually wears at least 2 shirts (she's worn up to 5 at a time though). She's been daytime PTed since about May, though we did EC with her since about 7 months (we were lazy and only caught poop, lol). Still wears a diaper at night....still nurses to sleep if I will let her...still nurses during the day if I will let her. Sleeps in her own bed though, also since about May.

She has great spatial memory and is always noticing things that match or are similar. She shows no interest in reading yet, but loves to type out people's names on the computer (the only 2 she can spell herself are "Dora" and "Ed", lol).

I think she's just starting to wrap her brain around the idea of death...I mentioned to DH that his aunt's beloved dog had died (she sent an email to us) and Sascha spent the next 5 minutes saying, at regular intervals, "He DIED....He DIED?" I don't think she really gets the concept yet, though we've discussed it a few times in different contexts.

Hey Rynna - I PMed you about the FBs. And I love the knit socks! I just started learning how to knit again. I have done one scarf and one hat, and am tackling a mitten now.

all for now....bed is calling.









Nancy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Hi Nancy! I don't remember you posting on the other thread, but I wasn't there from the beginning, I just kind of jumped in later on.
















Do any of your little boys have an obsession with the color pink? BeanBean has pink and white shoes, and loves pink *anything* right now... It's kind of cute, but I get funny looks from people. My mother was with me when we went shoe shopping, so she totally understood how I got to the "anything that fits" point, but that doesn't change the fact that BeanBean will chose to wear pink over any other color just about any day of the week. He also asks for nail polish (generally purple; I don't think he's ever seen pink nail polish) and ponytails in his hair all the time.







I don't think it's unhealthy, just a little... odd, maybe? Is this because he's not in daycare and therefore not exposed to the whole "boys don't wear pink" thing?


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

for me, having more than one child is an exponentially rewarding experience. but it is indeed different and harder and can change the way you control things - though the women i know with two girls seem to have an easier time keeping control than other combinations. the bigger the spacing is easier on mammas physically.

sarits, that sounds promising and it's always good to broaden or improve the social spectrum.

i have found however that sometimes commonality with friends is not as important as compatibility and respect/suspeding judgment. it's not always simple to predict the dynamics of the personalities and the sex/age attributes, and i've been surprised with people i've been drawn to that things didn't work out, or became more compatible later, and families i thought i had less in common with that have a balancing element. i've also been lucky to find friends that have older kids who are full of wisdom and grace.

our bills totaled over our income this month, and this is before food and expenses. with ruby at three and fairly independent, this is a space in time where we can consider me getting a wee job or starting an enterprise. though haven't done anything yet. perhaps i am too lazy or just having too much fun where i am at - i am finally not seriously sleep deprived and emotionally struggling and have finally sort of got the hang of appreciating my life and my kids. dh is working on raise and promotion and interestingly, not so keen on me finding a job anymore. so this means making babies is on the backburner for me. i'm actually considering the concept of being content with three. honestly, i'm more attached to the idea of being pregnant again and having another girl than really considering dealing with another combination of dynamics. but then having babies is not supposed to be such a premeditated thing, especially for me, so it is all odd odd odd.....


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yah rynna, it's just cos he's young. clay was fine with all that until sometime this year - of course daycare and teasing older boys can speed it up but at some age/development there will be more awareness and interest on his part about what he perceives as being male.

just enjoy it while you have it, and keep what you can to certain parameters for your own limits. like he had red suede shoes and i took the hearts off. he still wears and prefers a girls cut knit old navy lo waist pants - don't tell him! since boys stuff is baggy or woven. it can get annoying - the adult smirks and i don't care to invite adults to insult my children. that's how they see it anyway. reminds me of a friend's thick boyish boy at four wearing pink hello kitty slippers and shirt. he was taking all his big sister's stuff. some things can be confined to home and friends (like nakedness?). and for some reason, people fret less about my boys' pink hair gel as they get older. the general public is never going to get the sexes of my kids right anyway though, even when clay wears a darth vader shirt and is holding a fake knife. a few weeks ago even a little girl asked me if "she" - pointing to clay, could play with her. i asked him what he thought of that afterward. he said he didn't know her. i was proud and relieved.

my general concept of development - not sure where i got it and sure it will change as i have more experience - is 0-5, learning about mamma, 5-10, learning about daddy or next closest person, 10-15 learning about other people, 15< going into the world and learning about self. i see lots of sweet peaceful boys get suddenly interested in guns and sticks around 5ish. they really think we are missing out on the penis too.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Rynna- can you share what books/workbooks etc you are using in your homeschooling? We are considering leaving GA at her family daycare another year instead of sending her to preschool next year. Isabel (dc provider) really LOVES her and GA loves Isabel. I think another year of free play in a loving environment may be better for GA right now than a formal pre-school. My only concern is that when we go to 'apply'







to schools for pre-k and beyond she will not get in b/c she hasn't been to preschool. I think I might like to homeschool her a little in addition to Isabel's daycare next year.

Thanks

Amy


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Rynna~ A few months ago while shoe shopping for razi, there was a pair of girls clogs with bright girly colors and fake fur and really eye catching and those were the only shoes he wanted. they were $50!! otherwise I might have gotten them as play shoes but no way! He also wore a dress (he has one) to school the other day. I tried to get him to wear something else, only because of teasing that has been going on and the kids already get confused by his longish hair. But he insisted and it was fine. I figure, if that is what he likes, well then he can do it. I know eventually he will probably move out of that phase. He did request to have his penis taken off the other day tho









Welcome Nancy!









Casina~ I totally agree w/ the respect/compatibilty thing. Tavis has a friend who has almost identical ideas about things as I do but our personalities clash so badly that I will be fine if I never ever see or talk to him again. Tavis would be so irritated cuz we would fight over something we agreed upon.

Yesterday went good tho. Of course you can't have instafriends all the time but we had a great ol time chatting about all kinds of stuff and the kids did good together as well. I have also been hanging out w/ another gal I met who I like alot but our kids don't do that good together and it makes it hard,yk?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sure! We are child-inspired classical homeschoolers, using The Well-Trained Mind as a guide. BeanBean is doing The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading (reading, obviously; without the magnet board and letters, but he's having a good time anyway







); First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind(grammar; I do a fair bit of editing and often offer different poems and pictures for narration than the ones in the book, because a) we're Jewish and b) even I have decent, useful art around the house for picture study







); Primary Math 1A (aka "Singapore;" You can read a bit more about it on the math thread that I started over in Learning at Home and Beyond); We've read a little bit of Story of the World, Volume I: The Ancients, but BeanBean isn't terribly keen on it at this point, and I certainly don't feel any need to push him. He's learned an awful lot of biology this year, but very little of it has been deliberately presented to him by me; he's just been spontaneously interested in biological concepts, so I've been more than happy to provide books and videos from the library and whatever else I can find to do. He helped me start a bunch of seeds on Sunday, and if I was counting hours I would definately have counted that as "biology," kwim?







I absolutely *love* the Real Science 4 Kids biology, and I think that BeanBean would have the time of his life with it, but it's not in the budget right now. Instead, I've been coming up with random activities (or he has







) and I've been altering activities from my old college lab book. It's almost frightening to me how easily some of those labs can be adapted for use with a k/gs-a student.







Rather, it's frightening to me to remember my classmates complaining about how difficult some of the labs were...
















What else...







Oh! We've just started Handwriting Without Tears: Letters and Numbers for Me. I don't have the teacher's guide or the wooden letters (or even a slate, but I hope to get one soon) but we've been talking about letter shapes and I know that BeanBean is really looking forward to learning how to write his name.









BeanBean is desperate to start MCP "Plaid" Phonics because ChibiChibi did those last year when I home educated her and he associates them with "really going to homeschool."







I'm probably going to start him with the purple K level book just because his writing skills aren't on par with his reading skills. The way things are looking, by the time I have the cash to buy it he'll probably zoom right through it like nobody's business.









I'm working very hard to introduce more Judaism to BeanBean, so we're doing Torah Study when I can remember it (







); this will pick up a great deal in a few weeks when we get our tax refund and a new computer which won't crash every time I try to open the Torah Tots site.







I've been brushing up on my Hebrew and introducing BeanBean to already-familiar words in Hebrew (colors, body parts, etc). I found a really great site with aleph-bet coloring pages, but I can't remember it's URL off-hand; it is definately linked to a thread that's linked in my signature (click on the "I







Homeschool" icon). My SIL has been playing a Spanish game with the kids, but rather than listening to the native speakers that the game uses, BeanBean has been listening to his aunt so he has her absolutely *atrocious* accent (I mean, it's mind-bogglingly, Peggy-Hill-"Espanol" bad). I'm doing what I can to correct that, but it's an uphill battle. I am not a native speaker and I never formally studied Spanish at all, but I have a great ear for languages (had no trouble picking up Hebrew or French or even the bits of Russian, Arabic, and Japanese that I've taught myself over the years) and hearing my SIL and son say "row-ho" instead of "rojo" is like fingernails on a chalkboard...









Anyway, I'm concentrating on Hebrew right now, because I think that it's the more difficult language to learn and if he can "get" Hebrew, learning a language which uses the Latin alphabet should be a breeze, right?







We also have a variety of workbooks around which BeanBean refers to as his "homework" and he likes to do some every day... "Comprehensive Kindergarten Curriculum," "Everything for Preschool," and other such titles. Some are things that my mother picked up in random places for my nieces, others are things that I've found.







I find books at the library about subjects that he's interested in and we read them together, and I try to read to the kids every night.







Oh yeah, and I'm labelling the entire house with index cards, but right now I'm out of sticky tac.









After we get the new computer and I can check my email, I hope to find someone locally who is willing to let BeanBean and I come over and play the piano together in the evenings; I'd really like to start teaching him an instrument, and it seems like even if I did have the money, there is noone in the area who does Suzuki violin or who teaches individual lessons to three year olds at all







This is *very* important to me, and I *will* find a way to get BeanBean music lessons. If I can find appropriate footwear, he will have riding lessons and such as well as learning all about the care and keeping of horses (BeanBean's legal guardians, in the event of our untimely demise, run a horse farm, so this would be totally free except for expenses relating to clothing and travel







).

Wow, it sounds like we do a lot of stuff....







No wonder people think that classical homeschoolers are completely insane.







: The reality is not nearly as busy or tense as it sounds when you write it all out like that. I keep a journal of the things that we do (when I remember







) not because I'm legally required to keep records, but because a) I want his guardians to have ammunition to fight for an IEP in the event that I am not around to home educate the kids and they can't either and b) I'm tense and anal, and I like to see progress. It makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing.







There are tons of random, non-book activities which are in that journal and which I would certainly count if I was counting hours (and when the time comes that i have to file legal papers, I will definately count hours rather than days because you finish so much more quickly!). For example, while typing this post, BeanBean asked me to please draw a hexagon. I then drew and labelled the following (his requests, in order): hexagon, octagon, rhombus, trapezoid, bathtub, square, pot, triangle, pentagon, pillow, kite, 'a house in a boat', and a woman. BeanBean then attempted to draw Princess Fiona, but it proved a bit difficult ("her leg is broken!") and he'd had enough. If I was counting hours, that would be "1/2 hour, math."


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Wow Rynna this is great thanks. DH is jewish and we are raising GA jewish. DH and I started a 12 week introduction to judiasm class this week put on by Union of Reform Judiasm. It is very good so far. We got a cool hebrew workbook. When I get home from work I will pm you with the title. The class also uses this book - Living a Jewish Life : Jewish Traditions, Customs and Values for Today's Families by Anita Diamant, Howard Cooper (Collaborator). If you are not familiar in addition to the Red Tent she has written several books about Jewish living. Two I have read and enjoyed are The New Jewish Wedding and The New Jewish Baby Book: Names, Ceremonies, & Customs-a Guide for Today's Families which we used to plan GA's naming.conversion ceremony. I have seen but not yet read How to Be a Jewish Parent : A Practical Handbook for Family Life.

Amy


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I would like to get more structure into our everyday learning. I'm so scatterbrained, though. Julianna didn't qualify for the special needs preschool program.







She tested "age appropriate", although they did recognize that she was delayed in some areas. So I either have to come up with the cash (no possible way) to send her to preschool, or really step it up at home in the schooling department. Right now Zachary's favorite thing to do it to make shapes with his body. Like making a triangle with his hands together, or a huge circle with his arms above his head.









All my kids love the color pink...







I think Zach likes it because it is such a calm, soothing, gentle, happy color.









My baby is very sick right now.







Coughing (hacking up a lung really), with a fever, and the general feeling of yuckiness. We've been rocking together all day, I gave him a bath, and now we're sipping chammomile tea. I made his favorite lunch for him (Annie's mac & cheese with broccoli florets







) so he's enjoying being cuddled and spoiled for sure...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I've got a niece with Asperger's who didn't qualify for an IEP for kindergarten because she tested too high ("high average to superior"). All this in spite of the fact that the girl has had an open file with Early Intervention and the IU since she was _six months old_.
















As to scheduling-- I'd love to get a real, stick-to-able schedule going on here.







Everything happens haphazardly and strangely. I'm working on cleaning up (absolutely essential for me to have a schedule) and trying to find a way to get some shelves, but until that happens...







This crap is all made a zillion times more difficult by the fact that the computer crashes when visiting most unfamiliar websites, and often familiar ones... I have to do most of my searching down at the ILs, and that's a PITA.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Leah that's a bummer







preschool and sick kid (((hugs)))

Amy, I read The Red Tent in one evening/night and OMG! I just cried and cried and cried! that was before razi was even concieved. wow, i miss reading a book like that









Rynna, I can't click on the [More] for the smilies here cuz my computer freezes almost ever time, it really is a PITA for sure!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I meant the one that's in my sig.









I read The Red Tent, too. What was really funny about it (to me) was that I'd just finished reading Orson Scott Card's "Women of Genesis" books (which are funny for their own reasons







) and the last one (well, the most recent; there should be another coming out soon) was about Rachel, Leah, Zilpah and Bilhah. It was sooooo different from The Red Tent that I just kept grinning at the comparisons. I think that I would have gotten more out of The Red Tent if I'd read it a few years ago, rather than right after finishing the Women of Genesis books.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Rynna-

The hebrew workbook is aleph isn't tough an indtroduction to hebrew for adults book one linda motzkin hara person, editor

Amy


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i've heard about the red tent. rynna, is it superemotional? or what is it? i've read the orson scott card, so i'm wondering what you mean by different.

and do you know anyone that plays any instruments? there's a lot to learn just by watching a person play close up and having them explain the basics of how it works, and allowing your children to touch and try a little. i really liked the book the right instrument for your child by atarah ben-tovim. i say liked past tense because i haven't looked at it in years, and need to find a copy.

it's interesting reading all about your homeschooling rynna. i think you are working harder than most of the ladies i know in my group, which is a varied group using many types of curricula.

me, i don't really do a darned thing when it comes to schooling. we have workbooks that they look at on bored occasions. i say this because much learning does come naturally as they age, and i don't want some of you to get skeerd of the concept of homeschooling commitment. a basic rule for many is three hours max of intensive teaching a day.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Casina-

The red tent is in my top 3-4 favorite books of ALL TIME!

Funny what you say about 3 hours of schooling. My husband teaches public school (HS Physics) and he ways he could teach a days worth of public school curriculum at any grade level to anyone in 1 hour!

Amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Casina, that's what I meant when I said that it sounds like a heck of a lot of stuff. It really isn't that much.







Well, maybe it is, but it's all things that BeanBean asks for, and generally in small bites. When I sit down with him to do something, I never plan on more than 15 minutes of "lesson time," more often 5-10. Trouble is, BeanBean is *extremely* taken with these things, and will often ask for "just a little bit more" until I look up at the clock and an hour and a half has gone by.







Sometimes he can be distracted, like I'll ask him to go use the bathroom and he'll come back and not want to "do homeschool" anymore, but other times nothing will break his focus and he'll want to sit for another hour and work.









Writing down all of the materials we use, it looks like I must sit with BeanBean and BooBah and drill them for 12 hours a day... it's a crazy, "how the heck does she ever manage to post here?" kind of thing... but "lessons" are short when mommy-planned/initiated and only longer when the kids drag me to it, kicking and screaming (sometimes literally







). BeanBean has an *extremely* long attention span for a three year old and can become absorbed in something to a great extent. BooBah likewise has a long attention span for a child of her age. Sometimes they both appear to be very "unbalanced;" that is, they'd rather spend all day indoors doing bookwork than jumping around on the bed like little maniacs. I have to admit that when we have several days like that in a row, I get a little nervous; I'm all in favor of learning, and I love to read and research, but even now it strikes me as bizarre when my 3 year old and my 19 month old want to do the same things. It's always a relief when BeanBean finally stops to pretend to be an airplane and BooBah starts putting non-food items in her mouth again. Well, not a relief, but at least they look normal for a little while, you know?









My kids are weird, I guess that's what I'm saying.







The schedule which BeanBean imposes on himself is *much* more than I would ever spontaneously impose on a child of his age. BooBah is even crazier, I'm still very nervous about formally educating her at all becuase she's soooo young, but she's desperate to learn and I feel guilty when I try to keep her from it. At her age, she's even more difficult than BeanBean to distract; I sit down with a book, she climbs into my lap and wants me to read and point out letters to her.







She often climbs into my lap when I'm posting here and picks out all the familiar letters on the screen, and then gets irritated when the screen jumps and throws a fit when I say, "I need to stand up so I can pee..." They've both got an intensity of focus when it comes to learning that is unusual. Well, I shouldn't say that: it's extremely common in gifted children, but when it comes to the normal world of children their ages it's totally bizarre. I love them dearly, but I freely acknowledge that they, like their parents, are freaks.







It's difficult even for me, and I was a kid who made BeanBean's laser-like focus look typical and normal; by the time I was three, I refused to go out of the house without a book at all and wouldn't have been caught dead pretending to be an airplane and jumping around on the bed.









I'm having a bad day today. The firebolts have started shooting down my leg. I want to crawl into bed and mentally amputate my right leg.







I'm not going to get anything done, and I'm so freaking depressed about it, and BeanBean is already asking "where did you put my 'homework?'" It's not even noon yet. I wish I could call Mike and tell him to come home...


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

Rynna, hope you feel better. I remember when BooBah was born, it is weird to think you are having another so soon. Time flies when you've got kids, I guess!









I don't have much to say at the moment besides a little intro. I know most of you from the board. I am Emily, my 3 yo had her birthday Jan 20th, she is napping beside me right now. We just found out we are expecting another in Sept (probably OCt, Dyl was 15 days late.)


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

rynna, your kids sound great, and you are obviously setting quite an example for reading. it does also sound like schooling is the way that they can claim total attention with you!







is that sciatica you are talking about?

i find 3 a baby age, disregarding ruby's talents and antics which i just try to appreciate as much as i can. i'm even more aware of it dealing with clay the past year. but i'm one of those people that found age 2 to be pleasant for all three. it's somewhere around the 5, the transformation into a child that i find more daunting - and just as much a growing period for me as a mamma with each child. threes are still open and free and not afraid to dance when they hear a beat regardless of the situation.
so what am i saying again? i'm enjoying it. she sparkles. she shrieks and sings. she pulls hair which is awful. she also wants to poke eyes out for infractions as small as coming near her big stuffed rabbit. granted, the boys do take it from her sometimes. lately i have been tripling our outings and playdates. my kids have a different and generally manageable and pleasant interaction with others. its the walmart and late afternoon to evening that is trying. probably doesn't help that they are rising before 6 these days. i told them again tonight that they need to come back to bed after they pee if it is still dark. now, if only i could put them to work then i wouldn't mind. it's like they were meant to get up and milk the cows and give scratch and fetch eggs and catch the fish????? i am not a morning person. so i can't figure this joke of morning kids. i suppose i could figure making the kitchen more workable for them so they could just fix breakfast.

amy, how does your dh feel about homeschooling? it sounds like you two would do fine with it to whatever extent. obviously he would have confidence, which is a big deal.

everybody's having babies everywhere. i'm envious yet reminding myself to appreciate my recent release from sleep deprivation.

today i got to listen to damen's bandmates talking about health issues with testicles and prostates. i felt privileged and impressed to see a friend being so easy and open. he'll make such a good husband and dad.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

You know, I've gotten much more sleep (in general) since I got pregnant with BeanBean than I did before. My kids have, thus far, been decent sleepers... well, they require less sleep than I do but they do sleep through the night fairly early on, BeanBean only wakes when he has to pee. It's all good. I really need to relax, I know that, but it's hard for me. I could totally be asleep right now, if I didn't feel like I should be online doing something "useful."









One of the big problems I have with seeing three as a baby age is that I remember being three very clearly, and I remember distinctly not being a baby. I was quite petite, but I was still often mistaken for a much older child. When my brother was a few weeks short of three, my mom had his IQ tested; she was concerned about a hearing deficit affecting his ability to speak and learn (he had had a series of ear infections which definately damaged his hearing). They went through the entire test, and at the end a woman came in to talk to my mother about the results. The final result was, "I think you'll want to work on this, this, and this before he starts school in the fall. Where will he be attending kindergarten?" "Kindergarten? He's only turning three." They had misread a number in his birth year and thought that he was turning *five*-- the entire test was based on the idea that he was 4 years and 10 months old, when he was 2 years 10 months. Despite the fact that he wasn't at all large for his age, and the fact that they knew I was his older sister (I was, as I said before, quite petite as a child), they never doubted for a moment that he was nearly five years old, or that I was nearly six. We just seemed, all around, like children rather than babies or toddlers.

I remember that day. I remember, as I said, very clearly from very early on (just shy of 18 months), and I remember not being a baby at three-- far from it! I was most assuredly a little girl. It's difficult for me to look at BeanBean and even see a very small child, much less a baby, because I remember so clearly not being a baby at that age. BeanBean is a different kind of child from the one I was, but he's still definately un-babyish especially these days. He seems to get older every day, like right now he's on an upswing. I'm expecting a plateau to begin any day now...


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

hey mamas, I've been without internet access for awhile. Nice to be back though







I haven't had a chance to catch up at all, but I'll try







Hope you are all doing well


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I've been going back and forth to my cabin in the woods and home, where the computer is. If you're wondering why I'm still "here"









Rynna~~ Have you tried getting a chiropractic adjustment?? Because I know that sciatica is a pinched nerve, and it would be solved by getting adjusted. Just thought I'd say that. Hope you feel better soon.

Nice to see all the new people and all the old people too


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

hey punk! [wave]


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

mama's, I just had the worst day of my life







yesterday when I posted it was while razi was sleeping. He had fallen down the spiral staircase and hit his head real hard. after he slept like that, he woke up and started vomiting which is a bad bad sign after a head injury. So we immediately took him to the ER and he got a CT scan and turns out that he fractured his scull and had some bleeding between the skull and brain.





















we had to stay overnight at the hospital for observation. he was fine this afternoon so we got to come home. it was sooooo scary. for the next week i have to keep him mellow and he can't go to school. the other really crappy thing is that the insurance that tavis gets thru work doesn't go into affect until wednesday. I can't even believe this happened. i don't know that i've even fully processed it all. anyway, he's napping again now and i'm just feelin' pretty sad...


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

sounds like he is better now but we're thinking about you...keep us posted

amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sarita, I hope Razi's feeling better soon.







That's got to be terrifying.

I had Mike take me to the ER last night. The sciatica was so bad that I couldn't do anything but crawl around on the floor and try not to writhe or whine too much.







They gave me a shot and a prescription for two days worth of painkillers, so I have to go see my doctor ASAP and try to get a referral to a pain management clinic. Taking drugs is depressing, especially while you're pregnant, but so is not being able to feed your kids or, you know, move.

I've heard mixed things about chiropractors helping sciatica-- mostly from people who don't have sciatica I hear good things, but from people who do i hear that they can't help all that much.







Apparently, it's very likely that I have a herniated disc that's putting pressure on the nerve. Anyway, it's all a theory at this point because I've been unsuccessful in finding a chiropractor who will take my insurance and there's no way in hell that I can afford it if they won't.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

sarita, i'm thinking of your family and sending healing vibes. that is quite a bang on the noggin. i'm very worried for you. it depends on the fracture but i'll go ahead and there's a great chance that everything will be fine - our bodies do know how to heal after all. breathe, take it from moment to moment and take care of yourself too okay? make sure you are getting sleep!

rynna, healing vibes for you too!! i've dealt with sciatica and dh has had the low herniated disc. my mil and my aunt all deal with sciatica as well. so far the only thing that's really worked for us is stretching whether you call it yoga or pilates or kung fu or ballet. i know it seems daunting especially with pregnancy belly but moving the limbs and spine can release the pressure and eventually strengthen the rest of your body to help support you. essentially you want to stretch the hamstring anyway you can. i think it is important regardless or in addition to what treatments you go through of course you will have to go easy with the relaxin in your body. i'm not worried about you going overboard though since you will have pain and belly to keep that in check. one alternative we have not tried that others swear by is acupuncture. and we are sure swimming would have helped if we could have convinced the docs to put the money from the pt into the ymca instead. try self-massage since the pain will get the other muscles tense and overcompensating. chiropractors aren't for the four of us though, nor physical therapy though i'm sure there are some good physical therapists out there. when it's bad acupressure helps me some whether it's sitting on my fist or even better finding something tennis ball sized but harder to press on the point. i'm also better off always sitting on the floor cross legged instead of chair and of course the evil couch, and leaning forward in general. i reasoned that it was better the stronger my squatting and kneeling were for birth anyway. now i still squat more than most people. except for all my relatives in taiwan.

i did find myself sleeping face down with my knees tucked up when i'm pregnant when it hurt badly. other days i would sleep as close to on my belly with my limbs splayed out you can use some pillows to prop a leg, forward arm up and bent, other arm bent and down, knees should be slightly bent as well. it's still my favorite position to sleep in though take some doing with nursy kids. i also have to be really careful with shoes. no shoes is best, and working to use less of the heel - again, moving more forward than seems right especially when pg is what helps. i swear by birks only but that's it still gets tricky with the heel cup. acting like the center of my body is higher has helped too - not my gut but my chest (this strengthens the gut rather than just relying on the big ol butt) it is still not habit for me though.....and the sleep, sleep is very important here too you might want to address it specifically like valerian, chamomile.
i'm worried about you not being able to move. i think it is really important that you continue to keep what muscles you have, not to mention the daily practicalities.

i'm really sorry both of you, for these trying times. this is where the long distance faceless computer thing really rots for me. i wish i could help more.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

i still haven't had a chance to read everything I missed, But I am trying to keep up with the new stuff...

Sarita







oh my goodness, how scary. Please know that we are thinking of you and your family, and let us know how Razi is.









Rynna, I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I hope that Casina's post helps you out some.









Lots of new stuff going on here, but when will I ever find time to update you all? It feels like we are all settling into a rhythym again after the hell of summer. We are still financially screwed, but emotionally we are all feeling more balanced.

We are very seriously looking at joining an intentional community in virginia (assuming that they would have us







) We are really excited at the prospect and just wrote them last night to see if we can go out and visit in March. Jazz, are you still loving the place you are living now?

Fern, how are you doing these days with two littles?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I've been trying to stretch, but it's difficult when I can't move my legs. One of my main sciatica problems is that I often completely lose control of my leg muscles-- they sometimes spasm and twitch, but mostly I have to move my leg. The muscles go numb and/or tingly, so I know that they're still there, but I can't voluntarily move them below my hip, and sometiems I have to try to kind of swing my leg to get it to move at all.







It's horrible, I fall down a lot because I can't tell if my foot is flat on the floor or not. I haven't sprained my ankle recently, but it used to happen all the time...









Anyway, I can't bend my knee a lot of the time when it's bad, because I either can't make my knee bend or the pain is sooooo intense that it precludes movement. I'm sure that the muscles get tight when I can't move properly, but the pain is so totally unbearable. Mike tried to massage my lower back the other night and it just aggravated the pain so much that it took my breath away and I couldn't even whimper a complaint for a few moments.







Yick. I'm going in to the clinic today; in fact, I'm about to take my last pill and a shower. I hope they can help me. It's freaking depressing.

Sarita, how's Razi doing?







I hope you guys are both feeling ebtter soon...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

rynna~ HUGS HUGS HUGS to you too! i had sciatic pain when preggo w/ razi too, although nothing like that.







more hugs!! i wish i had some idea to help but sounds like casina's ideas are good

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and prayers! Today, he is pretty much his crazy wild old self. which is a little difficult since he needs to be mellower and not climbing all over, he just can't bonk his head right now. we have a follow up appt w/ the neurosurgeon in 2 weeks. i'm sure he will be fine, just freaked me out so bad. I was looking again at where he fell. there is a hole down to the stairs and he fell about 7 feet before hitting the stairs and i'm assuming that what he hit his head on was the wraught iron railing, then fell the last few stairs to the floor. just sickening to look down the hole.







it's actually amazing how resiliant they are, nothing else was hurt.

punk~what is the name of the community? that sounds very cool. we've considered that kind of thing but now we're just living w/ MIL. not as fun tho...

as frustrating as it is to not be able to know eachother IRL, i just wanted to tell you all how glad i am to have you as 'friends'


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

sarita, you could get a helmet on him if that would make you feel better. though my kids tend to overcompensate for that kind of thing.

rynna, that is a lot of pressure you are talking about. i remember having numb spells and spasms for half a day and ache but not for as long as it has been for you. we need to hang you upside down. really, does being upside down help? i do remember sleeping with my legs up on the wall. yeah, it sucked, and was only for reed go figure. were your other pgs this bad? how many weeks are you now? it temporary helped a little at times for damen to alternate hot and cold packs. that doesn't help you with taking care of your little ones though. he also used an electrostim machine with pads on it.
which helped him get out of bed since his muscles had atrophied so much and it did give him relief when he used it. i dunno about using something like that pregnant though i do remember trying it when i had ruby inside - on my legs and rear end. is the baby in the regular position? i've heard tens units used to help with back labor so it probably wouldn't hurt to shoo the baby over. of course we could get someone to play a didgeridoo at your butt to do that too.....i'm kinda kidding and not.

i think you should try a CASTOR OIL PACK. and a sedative for you - a stiff drink perhaps. you really need a spell of relief, and some sleep. damen was afraid for any of us to touch him all that time - i can only imagine what you are going through.....is there anyone who can help you with your kids? this is the kind of time you should and can lean on anyone you know that is nice that you feel you can trust. you just have to ask.

punk, you describe where i'm at as well: financially screwed, but emotionally good. an intentional community - how does your dh feel about it?

sometimes i wonder if when the kids are grown up i'll just live in a big house with all my womynfriends anyway. where's damen? oh, we'll have a private wing or studio and be traveling around on a bus at times.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Well, I'm feeling a teensy bit better today; that is, my leg is numb and tingly and there are shooting pains, but no firebolts and I'm not considering amputation as an alternative. It's also moving when I tell it to, so I don't have to drag it around when I walk, and that's a nice change of pace.







I'll see how far I get on a single vicodin... maybe I'll actually make it to the post office.







:

I'm looking through a fun teacher supply catalog. I love these things, it's enough to make me wish I had a school...







Better still, I wish I had 1/2 of the money that our local school district gets to spend on each student. Holy freaking crap, could I do a lot with that money! We'd go to zoos and aquariums and museums and have all sorts of fun toys and books and games...







I could really have a blast.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
punk, you describe where i'm at as well: financially screwed, but emotionally good. an intentional community - how does your dh feel about it?



He can't figure out why we aren't there yet









Rynna, I'm glad today is at least a little better for you.

Sarita, emailed you









It feels good to be back with you mamas


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

wow that's cool. punk, you must be doing better. how old is your baby now?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Well, I had a long day with an adventure at the end!









I did actually make it to the post office (finally!) on a single vicodin. After that, I decided to run up to A.C. Moore to see if I could find a little slate for BeanBean. While I was there, I hobbled around the unfinished wood ailses; all of the unfinished wood things (shelves, doll houses, etc) were on sale for 33% off, but not all of them had signs. I saw a really nice bookshelf, 4 feet high, that didn't have a sale sign on it. So, I snagged a clerk and asked, and she said that not all of the signs were up yet but yes, it was on sale. Then she looked at it and said, "But that's the last one, and it's got a crack in it so it's got to come down and get put in the back." I told her that if I could get an extra discount on it, I'd buy it anyway; she asked the manager who told her that I could have 40% off instead of the 33%. I did a bit of math in my head and decided that was a decent deal, so I was pretty happy. They found a big strong manly man to take it down (and to take it out to the car for me, because I could barely walk myself







) while I found some slates for BeanBean. Here's the best part: when we got to the checkout, the clerk just scanned it and then added a 40% discount!!







I got the shelf for less than $30.







I was so excited!







I couldn't stop giggling in the car, it made me so freaking happy.







THe crack isn't a huge deal, either, it just means that the shelf isn't absolutely perfect. I totally don't care!









So after that, I went to Wally World and bought a crib matress for the new toddler bed (Mike got one from one of his coworkers) frame, and some sheets for them, and a small can of paint to paint my new bookshelf.







It's cheap paint, and I can totally tell but it's okay, I'm happy and I'm confident that I'll be able to deal with it.







Then I stopped at the health food store to pick up some herbal teas for Mike and BeanBean (who have icky coughs), and I came home just in time to get the kids some dinner and get BeanBean ready for his swimming lesson.

We went to the lesson, and BeanBean was, for the most part, very cooperative. Then towards the end, he was on the steps to go into the pool and slid and hit his head. He popped back up out of the water and started having a wahwah; I ran over and picked him up out of the pool, held him for a bit until he calmed down and then I talked to him for a moment before I looked at the back of his head. He'd totally split his scalp open!







: "Okay," I said, "Let's go." I wrapped his towel around him, put my backpack on, and he took his floatation device off. Then I took him into the locker room, dried him quickly and got him dressed (no long, hot shower and fun with the blow dryer, which is what he usually does).







Other parents kept asking, "Is he all right?" and I said, "Yeah, he's okay, he's just gonna need a couple of stitches." "Really?" "Yeah, take a look," and I showed them the back of his head. One woman went, "Oh my GOD!" and turned away suddenly; that actually got BeanBean crying again, so I had to pause in my super-quick-get-the-Bean-dressed routine to get him calm again. The other moms were just shocked at how calm I was about the whole thing, apparently I was supposed to freak out when I saw the big old gash and blood.
















I didn't freak out at all, though, I just went into "Super Grownup" mode and got him dressed and into the car. I left the floatation device at the front desk because it had blood on it, and then drove home to let Mike know that I was taking BeanBean to the ER. He was like, "Why didn't you just go?!"







I told him that I thought he might like to know where we were, since we were going to be very late getting back from the swimming lesson.







Silly old man! He said, "Okay, thank you, see you later." So I took him to the ER, where he was calm and told the doctor his full name and date of birth and address and such (evidence that he didn't have a concussion), and he had three stitches put in. He hated the restraint (I hated it too







) and I told him that it was worthy of some closet words. He actually kicked his legs hard enough to pull them free of the plastic board. I held him afterwards, and gave him hugs and kisses. He really did quite well, all things considered. I hope that he remembers, though, when I tell him not to mess around at the pool that I say these things not because it's fun to say them, but because I want to avoid spending my nights in the ER when it's possible.

After we got home, BeanBean was extra attached to Mamma and a bit short with Daddy and BooBah. The kids and I snuggled up and they passed out very quickly; I took another vicodin before bed, and as soon as it kicked in I got up and painted the bookshelf.







Well, I had that energy and I knew that I wouldn't be up to doing much today without drugs, because of course I ended up lifting and carrying BeanBean a lot more than I'd planned to (a trip to the ER entails much lifting and carrying, as I'm sure you all know) and that messed with my sciatica.







So this morning, instead of seeing how far I could get with no pills, I had to take one just so that I'd be able to get out of bed and pee.







Ick. And I'm definately going to have to go in tomorrow, but I'm telling the doctor straight away that I don't want to get any more vicodin, because I'm already (in my mind) depending on it too much to accomplish daily tasks, and I don't want my BellyBean exposed to any more of it.







It's depressing enough to need narcotics to get out of bed, but it's gut wrenching when you're pregnant.







I feel horrible about it.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

wow! that's an adventure.
rynna, are you alternating ibuprofen with acetomenophen? i know the narcotics do that thing, but it is not actually pain relief. and it's clear you want to quit the vicodin. you should and you sound a bit funny. it aint easy and i know you can find some alternatives to coping. better even to have lots of coffee and liquor or most anything else. how many weeks are you now?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm 29 weeks (yesterday) along, and so ready for this pregnancy to be over. It's work, just like carrying BeanBean was.









I did try taking tylenol, and it did *nothing* for the pain; I can't take ibuprofen while I'm pregnant (aside from the third trimester risks, it upsets my stomach too much) so that's not an option. Before I started the vicodin, I was drinking a little bit of wine to help me get to sleep, but I'm not comfortable doing that during the day.









Ick, my headache is coming back...







Oh well. I just came up here to get BeanBean's shoes, and here I've spent nearly an hour online.


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Rynna- Sorry you are feeling so terrible







I hope it is getting better. I have had constant shoulder pain for 10 years due to a car accident. Last year at my physical my doc suggested I try seeing someone who does Feldenkrais work. He knew of someone and my insurance covered it b/c it is considered PT. I am still seeing him but most days I am pain free! I do the excerises but not as often as I should. It has really been incredible the transformation. Maybe you sould find a practitioner in your area. I got the sox yesterday and we LOVE them. Off to pm you.

Sarita- How is razi doing? I've been thinking about him.

Amy


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Rynna, sorry your having such a hard time. ((hugs)) Hope Beanbeans head is feeling better too. I'm glad Razi didn't need stitches!

Amy, Razi is doing totally fine. He starts back to school tomarrow. Thanks for asking!







What a scare tho!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sarita, I'm so glad to hear that Razi's okay!







It's funny that you're glad Razi didn't need stitches, I remember being really glad that BeanBean didn't need a CT scan.







Stitches I can deal with, but an altered state of consciousness and/or vomitting would have totally freaked me out (well, at least on the inside







).







In fact, my very first thought was, "This could definately be a hell of a lot worse!"









Amy-- so glad the socks are working out for you.







I really love that self-striping yarn, it's just too much fun.







I actually tried to make a soaker out of it, but the pattern doesn't work right until you get to the legs so it looked kind of funny to me.







Like I said before, I'm going to make BooBah some tights with it, and I'll make the seat out of a different, plain, heavier wool so they'll be soaker pants, too.







Not this year, though; I'm beginning to doubt that we're going to have any real winter at all.







Today has been chilly, but it hasn't been cold at all since the third week of December.









I started more seeds today-- parsely and lavendar.







I decided that if I have tons of parsely plants or basil plants, I can always sell them at the yard sale that I *will* actually have this year.







No more procrastinating! It's totally going to happen this year.







It's *got* to happen, baby or no, the third week of April and no later. I have too much stuff that I need to get rid of. Here's a question, though: what should I do for a table?







I don't really have an appropriate table, and I'd feel silly buying something new just to hold a yard sale on it.














Anyway, the yard sale will be totally justified in my mind if I make $50. I have no idea how realistic this goal is, but there you have it.







I'm hoping to get rid of tons and tons of stuff on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and if it doesn't go it'll get Freecycled on Sunday evening/Monday morning. Decluttering, simplifying...







I'm going to be breaking my horrible packrat habits, but I can do it... right?


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

dh and I are also on a major decluttering binge. he is a throw it away guy who likes everything clean and in it's place and I am a pack rat. We started with the basement in early january and brought two packed loads of our station wagon to goodwill. now as we move back into our kitchen we are shedding tons of that stuff. we are doing a room or closet or corner at a time and planning for it to take the whole year. much like baby weight we figure we've been cluttering up this house for 9 years it won't get decluttered in a weekend.

Amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

It's difficult for me to be sensible about decluttering. I grew up in a messy house, the child of a packrat who was in turn the child of a neat packrat: my grandmother managed to keep *everything*, but she was relatively organized about it. We found cute and silly little notes that her husband (deceased about ten years) had left for her 20 and 30 years earlier, 30+ years of anniversary cards, birthday cards, etc. It was *insane*. She had clothing that nobody would have been caught dead in for 40 years (though a lot of it would be considered kick ass vintage today, and there are some insanely cool looking things...), just about every pair of shoes she'd ever owned, even if she'd only worn them twice... it was just plain nuts.

My mother saved everything, but she never caught on to her mother's organization system at all. Everything was everywhere, and it sucked. Mike is the kind of guy who doesn't care much one way or the other, so things stay as I would have them, and I really, honestly don't know how to keep a house clean because I've never seen it done in person.







I don't want my kids to grow up this way! Sure, I didn't care if things were messy when I was 6/7/8/9, but then I got to be 11 years old and suddenly I *did* care, but I had no idea where to begin. That's where I am now: caring, but with no clue as to where to begin. I always feel like I'm digging out, rarely organizing just trying to keep things under control, and nothing is. It's depressing and horrendous.

I've read through the FlyLady site, and I know that a lot of people ahve been successful at managing their clutter problems that way, but I've got a few very basic problems with it. First off, I have OCD and cannot touch dirty dishes in the sink. Secondly, I can't actually *reach* all of my sink to shine it. I really can't! It's not even designed for the average woman of today as most sinks are (the average woman of today being about 4.5 inches taller than I am!)-- it's obviously meant for someone about 5'6" or so.







Too freaking high for me by a long shot, just like the cabinets. But I digress-- on the second day (or maybe the third) you're supposed to get dressed "to lace-up shoes." My shoes are (gasp!) velcro. Seriously! I can't fit into any of my lace-up shoes right now, my feet are too swollen from the pregnancy. The only shoes that fit me are a pair with velcro which I frankly don't like, but they were very inexpensive, sturdy as hell and they fit me very well (being boy's shoes instead of women's really helps :thumB) so I bought them. I'm willing to compromise on less important things, so even though I think that it's silly for anyone over the age of 11 to wear velcro shoes if they don't have arthritis, I bought them.

Anyway, reading over FlyLady, I felt like I'd failed before I'd even begun.







So I haven't bothered, and I'm just trying to get on top of the never-ending mass of things. It's more difficult now than ever, because I can't carry laundry or anything else up and down the stairs (I have to wait for Mike to get home and do it) if it's large enough to interfere with me using my hands on the rails (I hobble







). I think that I'm making progress, and Mike swears that he can see it, but I so totally can't.







It's horribly demoralizing.

Last night, after the kids went to bed and I finished painting the bookshelf, I made some baked oatmeal. I froze a batch and left the second batch in the oven. This morning, when I pulled it out to reheat and give some to the kids, I learned that Mike had discovered it.







Apparently he had low blood sugar this morning and went on a bit of a binge.







This means that he's going to want to do less work when he gets home (binges tend to result in high blood sugar and occasional ketone-spilling) and that sucks for me. He loved the oatmeal, though.







I experimented a bit with the recipe, and it actually turned out okay. Mike has now promised to clean the kitchen *for real* when he gets home, if I will make more.







Bribery! Whatever works.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy*
Sarita, I'm so glad to hear that Razi's okay!







It's funny that you're glad Razi didn't need stitches, I remember being really glad that BeanBean didn't need a CT scan.







Stitches I can deal with, but an altered state of consciousness and/or vomitting would have totally freaked me out (well, at least on the inside







).







In fact, my very first thought was, "This could definately be a hell of a lot worse!"









well, I can't say I wouldn't have traded! But stitches and bleeding on top of all that just would have put me over the edge. I felt pretty proud of myself (looking back) about how I handled it all. Before Razi was conceived I took a Wilderness First Responder course (that's how i met tavis, he was my teacher







) and we had a whole section, days and days of practicals, on head injury. So I at least knew what to do, look for, etc.

Oh, also, Punk's computer is broken again and so she'll be gone for a bit and wanted me to let all you guys know.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i could never look at flylady either. at some point i railed and ranted, yes probably to you ladies, that i was never given any lifetime habits on having a well-kept home and it is just not fair that most people i know can naturally do it here i've been improving myself at super speed just so things can work with the family and so i'm not just a slave that know where everything is. there are certain rules i can apply now though. like the main room has first priority. toys off floor, garbage, laundry, vacuumed. the kitchen is second. and cleared dining table and the two most obvious counters make a big difference. there are some things i haven't been able to do even though i figured it out - like practically appropriate and beautiful furniture for storage. open storage works better for me but closed doors keep us saner.

my laundry is surviving only because i keep it all hanging or in the wide dresser in the mud room next to the washer. then there's one hamper in the bathroom.

now getting into a predictable habit, that's a metamorphosis as well. i had got to where i did some stuff after everyone goes to bed. well, that ain't working with family dynamics. now it just feels like magic to everyone else and i've been doing any work that does get done.

i guess what really gets me decluttering is that we simply lack the room so we have been slowly weeding out. i do it in spontaneous spurts of course even though i know that if i made a one hour weekly date with myself i could rely on the habit that it is getting done. inviting people over for a party helps me get into gear too. i think being flooded really shaped my idea of loss in material things - i lost my pictures before marriage, all my cassettes and records and journals. a looter even took my scoliosis brace. so i can ask myself, is this really any more important to have? tricky, because i DO have some of my grandmothers and mothers vintage clothes that i mean to sew into something. i DO keep picking up stuff from the rubber dumpster and the framing dumpster. and my kids have suddenly loved having things this year. though we do have a super cheap thrift store now and that helps alot in acquiring and discarding. it does go against my recycling mentality though. but i when i get burnt out on handlling hundreds of items a day, then it is easy to start exiling stuff.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Hey Mamas...

I wasn't getting the updates, so I've been out of the loop. I finally caught up though! Plus the kids were all sick and we got cabin fever from being cooped up with each other for weeks. I took the kids down to Mexico for the weekend and it was gorgeous. J and Z walked down to the water by themselves while Crystal and my mom and I watched them from the porch, and they thought that was SO cool.









Sorry to hear about all the head injuries.







Give the boys a hug from their Aunt Leah.









Rynna, my cousin is 18 weeks with the same kind of pain you describe. She's either in pain or numb, so she's pretty much on bedrest. I really feel for you! Take a nice warm bath and enjoy some peace and quiet...

I should be in bed right now but my friend Insomnia is visiting tonight. It's not often that DH goes to bed before me, and he's already sawing logs in the bedroom.







I guess I'd better try to get some sleep... G'night all...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I saw the physical therapist today. She held my knees in a funny way, and I could feel my toes again...







Holy moly, I'm in so much less pain I don't know what to do with myself!







She's a miracle worker, honestly!

BeanBean's stitches came out today. I actually ended up pulling them out after the nurse cut the knots, because her hands were shaking so much that she made me nervous and I took the tweezers from her.




























I asked her, more than once, "Are you alright?" and she said, "I was, but you're making me nervous!" I said, "Sorry, but _I_ get nervous when someone with shaky hands has sharp objects near my kid's head!" As if I was out of line to be concerned!







BeanBean was great through it all, though, he was a real sugar bunny.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

yay! you got relief!

dh's parent's divorce has really started. i feel bad for dh.


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

coming aboard! My ds turns 3 on March 7th. But, he's been out of the realm of toddlers since about 26 months.

Just last night when I picked him up from daycare him and his best buddy (who is 5) were preforming for the other kiddos (my ds on drums- other child on guitar) Johnny Cash's "ring of fire". Alsok the bands "name" is "SAD BLOOD DAY"... made up entirely by the 5yr old?!







Now, what toddler can sing "ring of fire?"


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I meant to say that it was good to hear from Carrie and Jaz again...









Sorry to hear about the IL's, casina. Dh's parents divorced right after we got married, and that was no fun.

I haven't done my elliptical in two days







: and I drank three Fat Tires tonight.







Instead of going to exercise I'm going to sit right here on the couch and browse MDC.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Welcome edamommy! My ds was calling me that for awhile after we went out for vegetarian 'sushi'. He thought he was pretty clever









Hi Leah! Sounds like your doing what I'm doing! Although I'm procrastinating something else that requires sitting on my butt...sewing!

So this morning I either got an evaporation line or a very faint posivite preg test. I don't have another so I am going to the store first thing tomarrow! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but i don't think i'm doing a very good job, lol.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Ooh, ooh, ooh!!! I want to be the first to send sticky baby vibes to Sarita!!!








:




























:







:


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

I still have to wait to find out if there's anything to be 'sticky'. I promise I'll tell as soon as I know (tomarrow).


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

well I took another hpt. It was positive!!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Congrats, Sarita!!









I had a crappy day... I was in a car accident on my way to physical therapy, of all things.







The kids are fine, but my van needs $6500 worth of work-- and it was *totally* not my fault. I was #4 in a 6-vehicle line; I would have been #1 in a 3-vehicle line but apparently #5 was riding my bumper hard, becuase that vehicle was totalled and the back of my van was destroyed.







All three kids are physically fine, but BeanBean is not quite himself. He's very frustrated that he can't rescue mamma and make it all better. I'm in a load of pain, I feel physically wretched and heartbroken that I can't pick up my babies.







Things could have been a lot worse, but they could have been a lot better, too. We don't have any cash on hand right now to buy new carseats, for example, so the kids had to come home in the ones that were in the crash.














: I was *terrified* for the whole trip.








And they won't have carseats, either, until we can get to Lancaster and trade temporarily for two that my nieces have outgrown. It's depressing to me because BeanBean will have to be forward facing, and maybe BooBah as well (I don't think that there's still a convertible hanging around at my mom's house... but one never knows, they keep *everything*). I know that if there is a convertible, there's only one, BeanBean will be in a forward facing 5-point harness.

BeanBean's acting a little funny, he's talking about the cars (he saw the truck rear end us, he was wide awake and his seat is rear-facing so he saw the whole thing up close and personal







) and he's a bit wild. He was throwing toys at Mike tonight and when Mike asked him why he said, "For riding my mamma's bumper!"







I'm not sure what to do with him. Anyway, I'm (once again) in a ton of pain and I'm totally depressed about this.







I feel like poop on a stick, and I'm sick and tired of being a grownup, I just want to be a little kid again today and "stay home from work."


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

Rynna!

Call your insurance company....most of them replace cars seat right away b/c they don't want you to drive one one that has been in an accident. If they won't call your local police station and hospital. There are many many programs out there to provide new car seats for those who need them.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

FIRST-








Rynna!!! You poor thing... I hope that some of your family members will step up and offer to help you while you need it. It's a nice thought anyway...







I am so glad you and your babies are ok. (*knock on wood*) I have never been in a car accident, other than a fender bender (*knock on wood*), so I can't even imagine how scary that must have been!!! Karma will get the f^*#-head who was tailgating you!









AND SECOND-

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! (Screaming giddily like a girl.) Congratulations Sarita, Tavis and Razi!!! I'll just call you Fertile Mertyl...









I'm going through some crazy shtick with Crystal's school/teacher... There was a bruise and a report made (totally not my fault). I'll go into it more when i get back from LAKE TAHOE. I get to have a few days of skiing, gambling, and enjoying being away from kiddos/ hubbies! I come back Monday and DH flies out for his turn on Tuesday. It kind of sucks that we have to take our vacations separately, but it's life...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Holy $(*& Rynna!! I'm so sorry mama! (((hugs))) I've also heard of being able to get free carseats thru programs. The one in flagstaff was thru part of the hospital. Poor Beanbean. FYI, I'm taking razi to the chiropractor for and adjustment as soon as he is healed enough. he gets wonky like that when he's off, also, aggressive behaviour is a side result of a concussion (razi was really aggressive after the fall). Not trying to freak you out at all but just keep an eye on him okay? (I have no idea how hard you got hit obviously) i'm just still in head trauma mode i guess. (((hugs again!!)))


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

sarita, congratulations.

rynna, you need womanpower and manpower. please call anyone you know to come over.....and check on you and run by the store and play with your kids for a spell. i think it's important that you don't get isolated even if you don't get any actual help.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Back online again, had to replace our monitor, at least it was nothing serious.

Rynna, oh my goodness you have sure had a hard time of it lately.







I am so sorry about the accident, and BeanBean's fall at the pool and your sciatica.







I hope you guys can find some peace and healing soon.

Sarita - I'm so excited and happy for you!! Congratulations mama!!

Leah, have fun in Tahoe!

I am in a carseat quandry as well. The infant seat we have for Aubrey is borrowed and we need to give it back. She's just about outgrown it anyway. I want to move her into Mariah's Alpha Omega, and had planned on moving Mariah into a Britax, because of the higher height and weight standards. Mariah is currently 37 inches tall and 27lb. The Britax seats are just so expensive though. Do ya'll have any other suggestions?

GTG, crying babe.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Rynna:







im sorry to hear about all of that. take care of yourself!

sarita: congrats!!! that is very exciting!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

fern! how are ya?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm just seriously feeling like there's some kind of conspiracy afoot to keep me from feeling healthy, happy, and sane all at the same time.









I visited the police station and the hospital last night; there are no carseat programs in my area *at all*. I borrowed my nieces' old seats from my sister, but they are both forward facing and while *technically* BeanBean is big enough (and BooBah is about 10 oz shy of being big enough) the reality is that niether child is big enough for the seats. They're just *not*. I don't know if it would be safer for them to be in seats that are rear facing but which were involved in an accident, or in seats which have never been in an accident but are forward facing and seem too big in several ways.







Totally screwy. I haven't heard from the other vehicle's insurance company, and I'm considering calling a lawyer because a lawyer's job in such a situation is to be a grownup and deal with all that crap. So I'll tell this hypothetical lawyer: I need to pay for two new carseats and a rental car for at least three weeks (the initial time estimate on my van), and it'd be really nice if I could give my kids something after the fact, to deal with the trauma of having a mother who can't pick them up or snugglebug comfortably with them.







:

I'm so bloody depressed.









Punk-- BeanBean was in an Alpha Omega Elite, which had a higher weight & hieght limit than the Britaxes I saw (35 lbs rear facing, top of the head up to the top of the outer frame). It also had none of the problems that I've heard of poeple having with Alpha Omegas (twisty straps, for example).


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
fern! how are ya?

most of the time im wonderful.. im so enjoying having a sweet small baby again.. but it is a lot of work! we just moved and im trying to get everything livable ( to no avail.. i just dont have the time to get everything done in a day and as soon as the house is kind of clean its a mess again)but elwynn and nagio's papa is living with us again and its working out really well! he is finally growing up and being responsable and he has grown to be such an amazing dad.. ak..ngaio is up.. gotta go


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Rynna -- lots of







Thanks for the advice about the Elite. You are right about the regular Alpha Omega being a PIA (those damn straps!), if we had the money i would replace it in a heartbeat.

Fern, I'm so glad to hear that you are doing well. As you know, we moved right after Aubrey's birth adn had so many changes to adjust to. I remember being very overwhelmed the first six months. It's just lately started to all come together for us. I hope the same happens for you over the next few months. Much







to ya, I've missed you


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

fern, is your sis living with you too or does it look like a nuclear family? i'm teasing there. it's amazing and great you are with daddy again.

rynna, i'm sorry it's such a stinker for you lately.

i've been dealing with the inlaw stuff and clay. interestingly, i came across divorce advice that is useful for dealing with my son and my kidsin general at this stage. i had become the irritable nag due to feeling my kids are capable of more and bored and i need help. so i'm doing an about face - back to yes days. being magnanimous. agreeing every chance i get and altering disagreeing into better situations. being happy and quitting getting embroiled into having serious discussion that just make us feel bad. apparently the only way i can get help with the dishes is to behave and believe it is jolly fun, right?

as for the inlaws, it is weird and probably common - i am helping my mil how i can and it is better for her that i am not her kid, and i quit updating my dh. he is simply safer not knowing. my fil came over the other day and i really tried to be friendly but he behaved badly and it's just really sad to see it. i have to be careful it doesn't hurt me too much either.

meanwhile? ruby is just so big. i got some old navy size 3 fleece pants two months ago and i had to hem them an inch and they dragged a bit, and now the hem is out.

the carseat discussion. my opinion is not regulation safe. of course i worried exponentially more when reed was three. i guess at some point i had to decide whether i'd rather be sane or afraid in general about the kids, and let go much of my need for control.

rynna, if it were me, i would really look at the carseats you already have and see if they feel safe to me. yes, i know it is against the recommendation. but most seats are foam or plastic which doesn't crack that easily, and see if the hardware and clips are secure. i can't see how it is better to put kids in seats that are too big no matter how great the seats are. this is where we have to remember what kinds of seats we were in as kids. i know i was in one of the first real car seats because my dad was and is so afraid. dh is five years younger and he was put in something that hung over the back of the front seat. of course, if it is too much worry, don't go anywhere at all. i'd put them in the seats you picked if they feel right and if you continue to feel insecure with them, then give up and go get new ones or save for some. by then, you might get a break on some better ones anyway. we can't walk around waiting for bad things to happen to us. if you weren't so tired and hurt and depressed and pregnant, this would be a simple decision. i really worry that you need help emotionally and physically. i know you are strong enough to get through it - i did in bad times, but it sucks and i wish it could be better.
if i still had my fisherprice, i'd send it to you. maybe there a decent laleche community you can ask or even put out a help here on the mothering board. you want me to do it? i will just = say the word - i have found everyone is different about charity so i have to ask first.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

just wanted to send some































to everyone. Juse one of the many days I wish you all were my IRL community.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
fern, is your sis living with you too or does it look like a nuclear family? i'm teasing there. it's amazing and great you are with daddy again.









she is living upstairs and we are down but we have totally separate living space. its the best of both worlds

happy love day everyone


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

I'm so happy for you Fern


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
I'm so happy for you Fern









Ya me too Fern!!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Casina... that might work for me, if I wasn't such a geek. Trouble is, I know exactly how carseats are meant to work, and I know that there *will* be damage to the seats that I can't see. I'm going to take a good look at the seats tomorrow, but I don't think I'd be able to trust my judgement based on a visual assessment with the naked eye.







I'm almost unbelievably paranoid about carseat safety, even moreso now that I've been involved in two severe MVAs in just under two years. Hell, I've only had my *license* for three years! The more I think about it, the more upsetting it is to me and the more justified I feel in my paranoia. It's true that I drive a lot more than the average person probably does, and I do more of my driving with my kids than most people do, but two accidents in two years is just too much for me to be complacent about.

With most modern safety issues, I find myself thinking things like "How did so many of us survive to adulthood if everything was so dangerous?" but when it comes to cars and driving, I draw the line. The fact is, my mother has never driven a car in her life and my grandmother stopped driving when my mom was 13 or 14 (and my grandfather was killed in a MVA). I grew up riding buses and walking to most places, taking only occasional taxis, so the fact that I'd never been involved in an MVA even peripherally until the one which landed my mother in the hospital just in time for BeanBean's first birthday isn't as surprising as it might otherwise be.

Statistically speaking, the more time you spend in a car, the more likely you are to have an accident, and I spend way too much time in my car *not* to be paranoid about the carseats. Quite honestly, I'm glad that I am. I could have turned BeanBean around before the accident that I had before BooBah was born, but I didn't because I was paranoid. If I had turned him, when the heavy items in the trunk pushed the seat forward BeanBean might well have suffered some whiplash; as it was, the seat came forward and BeanBean was entirely safe, though shaken. Same deal this time, only BeanBean would *definately* have suffered whiplash at the very least as we were rear-ended. My sister often tried to make me feel silly for insisting that BeanBean remain rear-facing for as long as possible, but after last Thursday she shut up about it.

And so the kids will remain rear-facing, both of them, and they're going to do it in new carseats if I have to twist the nipples of the adjuster from the other company to make it happen. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when BellyBean comes anymore, but we'll cross that street and buckle that seat when we come to it.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Aw, Rynna...







I am just so happy that everyone is safe and sound. It could have been a whole lot worse... I know it is tough right now, but there WILL be sunnier days ahead. And threatening to twist the nipples of the insurance guy actually sounds like a very useful tactic!









My kids have really turned a corner with their speech in the last couple weeks. They are both telling us stories, and using great descriptive phrasing. Julianna is talking more than she ever has- I am so proud of her! I came back after four days in Tahoe and she seems like a new girl! And Zachary looks like he's aged a year... He's still my same sweet cuddly baby though. I don't know, I must be losing my mind because even though I was only gone a short time it seems like one of my goldfish has doubled in size!









It was very nice to hear from you again, punk!!! I'm so glad you're doing well, and you got your computer fixed.









I'm also glad to hear your update, Fern!







I hope everything continues on the positive path... If you hear from Jaz, tell her hi from all of us!

Sarita, I think you're having a girl. I'm not an expert by any means, but this is the year of girl babies with all the women I know... What do you think? Have you told Razi yet or are you waiting for awhile? Will you have a midwife or unassisted? Don't answer any of my prying questions if you don't want to...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
Don't answer any of my prying questions if you don't want to...

















of course I want to!!







yes, I told Razi. All he's been talking about is how I peed on a test and it said I was pregnant. We were going to wait to tell MIL but I don't think the secret will last long, lol! For Razi's sake I hope its a girl because that's all he wants. According to the chinese calendar, it should be a girl. The midwife I'm thinking about lives 70 miles away so it may be unassited (on accident).


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

The Chinese calendar said Zachary was a girl... I could not even imagine that I had a boy inside me after I had my ultrasound! It was quite a shock. I'm usually pretty good at predicting the sexes of other peoples' babies, but it's so bizarre that I was so wrong about my own!

My aunt from Spokane may be moving down here soon, and she's a nurse practioner specializing in OBGYN. I really hope she moves down here so I can have a homebirth! It would be really nice to have her and my mom (an RN) here wtih me, so I can have my baby at home but with the support and knowledge of the nurses in the family!

I am so happy for you, Sarita! This time next year you'll be nak'ing with your new beautiful blonde baby!!! (I swear, you and Tav make some darn cute kids!)


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

okay, my MIL came home yesterday (she's been gone for 2 wks) and it was about 45 min. and she pulled out this cute little baby dress she got for a friends daughter. Immediatly razi grabbed it and was like "This is for the baby in mommy's belly, mommy has a baby in her belly!" ...so much for keeping in on the DL...


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

so happy for you sarita, have i said that yet??


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*









so happy for you sarita, have i said that yet??


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*

I'm also glad to hear your update, Fern!







I hope everything continues on the positive path... If you hear from Jaz, tell her hi from all of us!












i think jazz and her grrls are coming to visit this week sometime! she hasn't met ngaio yet so thats exciting. ill let you know how she is when i hear from her.

love to you all


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

What did your MIL say, Sarita?


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Leah, how was your get away / vacation to Tahoe? Hope it was relaxing and rejuvenating for you.

I am so excited, we've been corresponding with people from the intentional community we are interested in, and yesterday Dh talked on the phone with two people there for over an hour! It really does seem like the place for us. It's a very family focused and family friendly place and basically as long as we all get along then we are in.

This is the biggest thing I've ever contemplated doing with my life. We leave in three weeks, going to drive out there, camping along the way. It will probably take about four days (we are going to be easy going about it and try to take it easy, what with a seven month old and a three year old along for the ride!) and stay at the community for about four days. If all goes well, we will go back for a longer visit and apply for membership at the end of July or early August.










Not so good news : dh lost his job







They eliminated the positions of about twenty people where he was working. So, major motivation to start clearing out and selling off our stuff.

Fern, do be sure to give Jaz our love if she does come out to see you!!


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Double Bubble Duplicate Posting... Sorry...


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Tahoe was really great, Carrie.







I got new skis at the ski swap in October so this was the first time I got to use them! I really like them, and I had a blast. My brother drove down from WA so it was nice to visit with him. The skiing wasn't perfect (in fact they got two inches of new snow the day after I left!) but the skies were clear all day and the view of the lake was spectacular! I definitely got a "Rocky Mountain High" while I was up there!







Don't know if it was the alititude, the beauty of the mountains, being psyched about skiing, happy to see my brother, or a combination of it all, but I felt awesome!









I did miss the kids a little and I was glad to come back home, but it was so very nice to only have to worry about ME for a few days! Weird not to have so much responsibility, YK? DH was SO ready for me to come home!!!









We were at the grocery store today and as we were finishing up Zachary was starting to get edgy. On our way to the checkout line he starts yelling "Come oooooon! Let's _go_, Honey!" I was laughing so hard. It's so hard to be "mad" at him when he's throwing a tantrum while calling you Honey...









Then while we were waiting (patiently) in line the kids found that horrible gum-in-a-tube crap. Zachary opened one and squeezed a little onto the floor before I took it away from him. When it was our turn in line, I handed the tube to the cashier and asked her to ring it up for us and then throw it away. She says "Throw it away? WHY?!? Is there something wrong with it?" Like, she was so amazed that I didn't want my kid to have junk. I'm standing there thinking "I have two crabby toddlers, a bunch of food to check out, and a child in a wheelchair, and you're arguing with me about the damn gum??? Just charge me for it and shut up!" But of course I was "polite" (in my own little way







). Weirdos!

That community sounds GREAT, punk!!! It sounds like just the sort of place I need, lol... My best friend always jokes with me that we need to hurry up and win the lottery so we can retire on our "hippie commune". A small community of famiy and friends all working and playing together harmoniously and peacefully. Sounds too good to be true, but I have faith!







I hope you find what you're looking for, Carrie, and enjoy yourself!

Rynna, I hope you're feeling ok...









Healing vibes to you, Mama.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
What did your MIL say, Sarita?









She's very excited and totally dying since I asked her not to tell anyone for awhile.







She's like a lit match in a dry forest, yk? So once i give her the okay, pretty much half the world will know...

Leah the stores here have a 'family friendly' checkout and I always try and go for that just to avoid the exact story you just told.

Punk, sorry about your dh's job loss.







Maybe that will give you more help and time to get ready for your big trip. I can't even imagine camping right now as it's been snowing all day here. I wish it was warm!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

i just wanted to show off my new sweetie.. www.picturetrail.com/babyngaio









hope you are all well!


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

wow she is beautiful. and she looks lots like you - at least from all the way over here.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Well, things are a bit better for me today. We managed to replace the carseats; both kids are rear-facing again, and that's a *huge* relief to me. BeanBean and BooBah are having a sleepover with their cousins. This is the first such sleepover *ever*. BeanBean was not pleased initially at the thought of staying, but BooBah was cool with it right away. ChibiChibi (8.5) actually woke up to talk to BeanBean, and she played with him a bit and was the one person who succeded in getting him calmed down enough for Mike and I to leave.







I wish I could have nursed him, that would have done the trick.









It's difficult for both of us, but I think it's the best thing; I know that I need a break from them and they certainly need a break from the evil, screaming beast I've been for the past few days.







: I'm hoping that it goes well, and that the kids want to do it again sometime in the future.







In the meantime, I'm getting a heck of a lot of laundry done...


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Wow, eilonwy, I am jealous of your freedom.







Zachary has never spent a night away from us- he's either had me or DH. But Julianna stayed with a respite family for 5 days while we were in Mexico for our family reunion last March (the screwed up tribal court system wouldn't allow her out of the country!), and that was hard for her. They said she didn't talk much and kind of played by herself.







Lucky for her she was still taking bottles at the time so she had her little "comfort" tool. I still remember walking in the door to pick her up and she looked up from her toy and said "Mama?" in this quiet little voice, then ran toward me! She was soooooo happy to see us- the first time she ever said "Zach" was on the car ride home!







It's nice to get a break from the kids sometimes, but only if everyone involved is happy with the set-up. I hope it went well for your fam, Rynna.

We had a playdate set up today with another foster family who lives nearby, but this morning Crystal and two of my friend's kids woke up with fevers.







: I was so excited to have a Mommy Playdate! I am so done with snot and sickness, it's not even funny... Will this winter flu season ever end???


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I think that the kids enjoyed the sleepover.







BeanBean and I spoke on the phone Sunday evening and he said, "I'm really upset that you left me, and I want you to pick me up now." I told him I'd pick him up the next morning and he just said, "Oh, okay."







They had a good time, and were fine with everything.









While they were gone, I got a lot of work done but not everything that I wanted to do.







I feel like I made some progress, but of course it will all be undone by this evening, I'm sure. Hell, half of it has been undone already.









Both kids were dressed a few hours ago. Now they're both naked.







How does it happen?

Still no word from the insurance company. We really, really, really can't afford to get a rental on our own, "out of pocket" as it were. What freaking pockets, you know? Meanwhile, I had planned all kinds of appointments for this month and early next month, because I'm due in April and it made a lot of sense to me to get as much as possible out of the way before BellyBean comes.







I mean, it still seems freaking logical to me, to plan things out that way... I was going to have a solid 3 weeks before my due date to just relax, which worked perfectly because I'm pretty sure that this one will show up around 37-38 weeks. It's amazing how much one idiot can







your life...


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

I bet the person who hit you is so happy you're not suing the pants off him, Rynna...

My kids take off their clothes and run around screaming "I wanna be naked!" and laughing. They get a kick out of it every single time, it's so hilarious.

My mom, the sweetie that she is, found a bunch of great HS links, and ordered me some preschool supplies.







When I was home schooled we called it B.E.A.M School (Better Education At Moms), so we
are carrying on that name I guess.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

i've been depressed and a mean mom but am getting out of it. hormones? sickly family? is mercury in retrograde? such is life. ruby has been singing songs about poop. she doesn't get as naked as much as the boys did at this age, because they poke her. i try not to get upset about her right to be naked and free. silly, huh?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DecemberSun*
I bet the person who hit you is so happy you're not suing the pants off him, Rynna...

I'd love to sue her, the














. Too bad the lawyers don't seem to see it my way.









I'm miserable. Life sucks. We're out of heating oil, that means no hot water, the furnace is off and all of the seedlings I started are dead or dying because it's too







cold here. I can't even take a nice bath and try to relax and deal with my pain. There was a load of diapers which were washed inadvertantly in ice-cold water; they're downstairs going through a second wash now, but I'm sure they'll end up being mildewed and sad anyway. Most of my diapers and all of the covers that fit BooBah save one (that she wore to bed last night) are in that load of laundry, because I haven't been able to do laundry as often as I'd like.









I seriously want to say







it all. I just want to give up. How much more crap can happen to one person?! Oh yeah, I lost a fair bit of my mucous plug today. I know that because this is my third pregnancy, that really doesn't mean much, but it was just one more reason to feel extra fabulous about not being able to take a







shower.














I'm DONE.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

oh rynna









can we help??

im so sorry.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

it will get better rynna. things WILL get clean again! we need a way for you to shut off the brain thinking about the bads. stay in a hotel room for a night with a friend, get out of your house. let's figure how you can listen to music on headphones to buffer your thoughts, and get you a glass of wine.

look, you may have to completely drop the accident thing and close that door for now, since you are not going to get compensated for your bodily hurts. it has really weighed you down, all the emotions and bs related to it. you can decide to quit dealing with it for a week. i know money doesn't grow on trees. but it is starting to cost you more just worrying about the whole thing. the last thing i want you to be doing is making stupid phone calls to stupid people when you getting ready for your third kid. i want you to be enjoying your two, frozen toes or not.
yes, i am projecting. we have lost so much money i don't even want to count this past month related to dh's wallet being stolen. i am myself getting weighed down by all the little crap and it is ridiculous and not worth it. i'm going to put in earplugs and get a decent nights sleep. and you are too. good things will happen again, and relief does exist. joy is out there.

much love,
casina


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

love you mamas...


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## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Hiya mamas--anyone here remember me? I think about you all often. It's amazing that our littles aren't so little anymore and some of you have more littles since I was here last.

I had an ectopic pregnancy last year. We've been trying for another, but haven't been all that successful. I just started my walk with fertility treatment yesterday. Hopefully it won't take too long.

Anyhoo...just wanted to pop in and say "hi".


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Rachel, I had good intentions of emailing you this week, but this week got away from me







It is wonderful to see you here, and to hear that you are doing well
















I hope your heart's desires are fulfilled soon

Welcome Back Mama


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## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punkprincessmama*
Rachel, I had good intentions of emailing you this week, but this week got away from me







It is wonderful to see you here, and to hear that you are doing well
















I hope your heart's desires are fulfilled soon

Welcome Back Mama









Thanks Carrie! I miss you all and have missed MDC as well. When Owen potty trained, I kinda felt I lost my "home" on the net, as I did so much hanging out on the diapering boards.

My biz has been keeping me incredibly busy sewing, which is awesome. I've been poking around MDC today and it's been so fun. :*)


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## birthjunkie27 (Jul 6, 2005)

I'll introduce myself here. I have a newly 3 yo named Jimmy...he turned 3 Feb. 11th. I haven't gone back and read all of the posts (there are SO many!), but I have a question for you all.

Have you found that your 3 yo has dramatically changed since their bday? Jimmy has been SO much more independent virtually over night. He wants to do EVERYTHING for himself (which he NEVER did before...he'd always say "I can't do it...you do it.") His behavior has also changed a lot. He was "difficult" to say the least, and now he is wanting to please us all the time. Knock on wood.









Is he the only one? I didn't see this kind of change when my oldest turned 3...maybe because she was already very independent by then.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Lindy is another one who seems to have changed quite a bit, starting right around her birthday. Not a change for the better, unfortunately. She's desperate to go with me every time I go upstairs or downstairs (not a totally new thing for her, but she's a lot more frantic about it lately than she had been for a while). And she desperately wants to hold my hand on the stairs most of the time, which is a new thing. At night, she's started sleeping as close to me as she can possibly get. I think she'd sleep right on top of me if I let her. She's also starting to be more annoying when she talks to us - creating things to argue about unnecessarily, asking "why" over and over again in situations where it doesn't even make sense, just generally being relentless about trying to get us to interact with her.

I'm not sure how much of it is being 3 and how much is due to having a new baby brother. I suspect a lot of it has to do with the new baby - though I see you've got a baby about the same age, Bethany, and it sounds like it hasn't had the same effect on your 3 year old.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Nice post, casina. "Keep on truckin"









Welcome back, Brayg! Of course we remember you!









I do hope it gets better for you soon, Rynna!!!







Come here and vent anytime you want to! Listening (reading) is the least we can do to help you in this tough time of yours. PM me your address and I will send you some Large FBs for Boobah, and I'll try to find something cool for BeanBean. I do hope you can get some much needed rest and relaxation.







I for one agree with the glass of wine idea...

We have Julianna's birthday party tomorrow. She'll be 3 on Monday. I remember the first time I held her. She had been sleeping, I picked her up, she looked up into my eyes for a few seconds, then went back to sleep.







When I brought her home she curled up on me in such a way that I imagined what it would have been like to have her inside me. I could tell her mother's belly must have been so tiny. Julianna was a tiny thing- big head and belly, very thin arms and legs. Anyway... Glad I still have her here with me today. She's so much fun.







:

Both my kids (DS and foster DD) have really changed in the last few months (right around turning 3.) They have been talking a lot more, and entertaining themselves for longer periods of time.









Neither of them are really into tracing letters yet, it seems like the hand-setady-ness isn't there yet. I got a bunch of those wipe-able books for learning numbers and letters, and the kids really like them but they just scribble. We are working on counting, cutting, gluing, tracing shapes, painting, smearing- mostly artsy crafty stuff. Zachary can recognize Z, J, D, and sometimes C which he mixes up with U. He always tells me "It's twenty a'clock, lets go!"







He's always ready for something... My friend gave me picture frame with a definition of the name "Zachary" and it said that he is 'Active, energetic and restless, and is always ready to respond to any situation.'







If I had known about that I might have named him something that meant 'peaceful and calm at all times'.


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

just shows how different personalities are. i came across something today mentioning locke's theory of tabula rasa and i just had to really laugh, especially at myself for wondering how much of what they do is my fault. i got a good quote today in my email: "if you can't be a good example then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." catherine

for my kids, independence and neediness go hand in hand.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

have any of your kids been doing this?...

DD:"I want to wear my necklace."

Me:"Well, you should wear it then."

DD:"I don't want to wear my necklace!"

Me:"Don't do anything you don't want to do, Haven."

DD:"I want to wear my necklace." (and by this time, she's on the floor crying)

Me:"I never said you had to, or didn't have to wear your necklace, please just do what you want to make you happy."

DD:"I don't want to wear my necklace!"

etc. etc....















I guess most of the time, she needs a hug/snuggle perhaps, or for me to talk more in depth with her about something? Why do you thing they do this?









[and by the way, ITA that my DD changed almost overnight when she turned 3]


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

BeanBean changed a lot at about 2 years 5 months, I think... He's certainly changed since then, but the big jump seemed to happen around 2.5. All of a sudden, he was just very un-baby-ish.







His sweet, lovey babyness seemed to melt away. By the time he got to 3, he was already much more of a little boy than a toddler. Over the past few months, he's gone through another shift; the easiest way for me to describe it would be to say that he's gone from preschooler to kindergartener, but that's not really accurate (especially since we're homeschoolers







). I dunno. He's odd, and loveable.









Thank you for the good wishes. I'm still feeling pretty miserable. I'm trying hard to be optimistic, but it's just not happening... too many steps backwards, you know? As to the glass of wine, we don't have any white wine in the house (red gives me migraines), besides which it's totally out of the question to have alcohol with vicodin. Not that I approve of the amounts of *either* that I've had during this pregnancy!







I'm really concerned about how I'm going to manage my pain in the last weeks of pregnancy. Taking a narcotic when you could go into labor at any moment is a scary thing, because it can depress the baby's respiratory efforts; same with alcohol (a CNS depressant). When I think about these things, I become horribly demoralized and depressed, and I feel guilty about all the vicodin and alcohol that I've had during the pregnancy (like when I was drinking half a glass of wine every night in an effort to get some sleep, or taking a vicodin every morning just so that I could walk







: ). My brain is screaming for me to stop, and I have been taking only the bare minimum to get by, but it's been long enough that I'm really starting to get worried.














I just don't know what else to do... it's not like I can just sit around in bed all day, I have to get things done.







Ick, life sucks.









Anway, because my physical life has been so sucky, I've been paying more attention to my spiritual life. I feel better about that; when it comes to spiritual matters, I can feel as though I'm accomplishing something and making good progress just by reading and thinking and discussing ideas. These are things which I can actually do (most of the time) without excessive pain or extreme depression, so I've been trying to spend time at it every day. I think it helps; I mean, I'm generally less miserable when I finish than when I begin...









Jaz-- BooBah does that sometimes, because she doesn't have the words to explain what she means. Instead of answering, I tend to repeat what she's said back to her as a question; this encourages her to think through the response, and sometimes gives her other words to express herself. So, if she said, "I want to wear my necklace," I'd ask her, "Do you want to wear your necklace?" and go on down the line. She could mean "I want you to wear your necklace," or "I want to wear your necklace," or "I want you to wear my necklace," or any number of other things. Maybe, "I want you to help me with my necklace," (putting on/taking off). I can think of dozens of other things that she might have meant, but been unable to articulate clearly. It's very easy to get confused at this age about what you're trying to say. It happens to BeanBean sometimes, and he is *exceptionally* verbally adept. His vocabulary, syntax, and the sophistication of his speech & subject matter is just ridiculous for a three year old, but that doesn't stop him from confusing words sometimes (especially when he's tired/hungry/anemic/whatever). He's still a little kid, and he can't always keep up with himself, iykwim.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Lindy doesn't exactly do what you're describing, Jaz, but she does sort of get herself upset or turn conversations into ridiculous arguments for no reason. Like she'll ask me if I'm going to do X, and I'll say "no" and she'll say, "I think you ARE going to do X," and then get all upset about it. And telling her again that I'm definitely not going to do X just gets her more upset.

She also has this new tendency to catastrophize everything. Like if we can't find something right away, she wails that we will never find it and it will be lost forever. Or, to give a particularly ridiculous example, this evening she declared that cooking peas in water would "destroy the whole earth!"

Another more positive new thing is that she's suddenly able to pronounce a lot of new sounds in words. She can now say "th" and "sh" and consonant combinations like "pl" and "st." She can even say "spider." She's always pronounced it "siber," but the other night DP said they were playing with a paper airplane when she paused and got thoughtful and then said, "Siber . . . siber . . . spider."


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Daffodil*
She also has this new tendency to catastrophize everything. Like if we can't find something right away, she wails that we will never find it and it will be lost forever. Or, to give a particularly ridiculous example, this evening she declared that cooking peas in water would "destroy the whole earth!"









BeanBean does this all the time. "I'll never be able to ___ again!" and so on. The whole world is going to end because Mike won't let him play with his car keys, for example.







It's kind of cute, b ut sometimes he gets really worked up about these things and it's so sad...


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Hola everyone! Razi is asleep on my lap so just sayin hi til i can type more later (w/ both hands)


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Good to hear from you, Jaz.







Sounds to me like Haeven is just testing you, trying to get your reaction to various situations. I'm no expert by any means, lol. I bet she's a little actress, huh?

A message from Julianna- kkjjjjjjjjjjjjjj JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

OK, so Crystal has this backpack that she carries around almost everywhere, and she keeps her special toys and books in there, along with any other toys that she happens to be obsessed with that week. The little kids aren't allowed to open it or play with the toys without her permission- it's kind of her own private little thing that she doesn't *have* to share with anyone else. Well, I've been having trouble with her sneaking food into her backpack. Mostly it's soda and candy (which we don't have that often, just as a treat, like for the party), or apples and yogurt. She'll sneak it and hide it in her backpack until later. One time she laid down on her backpack and punctured a can of soda, and because she's deaf she didn't hear it and didn't notice that it was leaking everywhere until it was a huge mess. I had to rinse off all the toys inside and throw away two wooden puzzles because they were soaked and warped. I found an old brown apple with bites taken out of it once. And the two times I found a yogurt cup in her backpack they were room temperature, so God only knows how long they had been in there... I try to make it a habit of checking through the backpack casually, and if there's food in there I take it out and tell her no, but sometimes I don't get to check it and I'll find something nasty, like the old apple. I know that psychologically speaking hording food can be a sign of some problems, but I'm not sure this behavior is actually "hording". I'd like to think that it's just being sneaky like "normal" nine year olds, and she knows her backpack is HER property so she hides the food in there, where she thinks on one will find it. My sister had severe Reactive Attachment Disorder, and I know Crystal is bonded well and doesn't have issues that severe, but I still get concerned because I know that sneaking food is not considered "normal". And it's not like she's limited with the food she eats- if she goes to the fridge or pantry for something I'll usually let her eat it because: a) she could stand to gain a few pounds, and she's growing like a weed; b) she's 9 years old and perfectly capable of deciding when she's hungry or full, and deciding what she wants to eat. So, I'm just wondering WHY she does this food stealing thing??? A because she's deaf the communication barrier is an issue here because I can only tell her that what she's doing is wrong, I can't go into detail about WHY it's wrong, so to her it probably seems like I have no real reasons for telling her not to steal food, I'm just being a meany... So, can I have some advice here please???


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I have to tell you, I used to hide food all the time, too.







It's like having the ultimate control over your life, for when you're feeling out of control. I'd just make a rule about not putting food into her backpack; perhaps you could find a different space for her to keep food items, one which would be out of reach of Zach & Juliana, but someplace that you could go through regularly?


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

It probably is a control thing with her. I have noticed that as she gets older she gets more assertive when it comes to doing what she wants to do. I think it means that she's getting more comfortable with herself, and more secure in her environment. She's now realizing that she can piss people off to get what she wants and we'll all still love each other.

It does help hearing your take on it, Rynna.









Right after I posted here I found another brown apple in the garbage in her bedroom, with only two or three bites taken out of it.









Anyway, I won't flip out about it... I don't like that she's doing it, but I won't read too much into it. Maybe I'll get her a little bin for a few snacks and she can choose what she wants out of it. A little extra attention and she'll probably stop the sneaking...


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

that's me, the food stealer. i make myself to go boxes at parties. of course i'm old enough to get permission or have some sort of vibe of okay taking and now everyone just expects it of me. i think it embarassed dh for awhile. might have something to do with the need to gather and find and have. of course in my mind it is not stealing though that's what it looks like. certainly has to do with being able to claim something as mine only. this morning my kids found a bag of chocolates and goodies a friend gave me around christmas. i didn't want to eat it, and forgot to share it, and never bothered to throw it away after running across it a few times. i just liked knowing that it was there.

but then i have my own issues. i'm not the sanest person to ask. she does need to ask permission though, because taking without asking becomes a habit. every now and then i will find myself leaving with a can of coke in my pocket from a party with tons of them (because i love them and shouldn't drink them and won't buy them because my kids want them too) and i will wonder why i need to do that really) she is also old enough to learn to determine when is a good time to ask, like after everyone is done eating. and that may take the habit out altogether by disrupting the scheme. and maybe it is completely related to her being deaf, that it is too much trouble to ask. i guess one thing i have taught my kids is how to forage appropriately (!! there's part of the unschool curriculum) like they can take pinecones and acorns and rocks and build with them, give them away or paint them or just admire the pile, they can tie dandelions and clovers. this world does not have enough natural venues for foraging, in my opinion. the art of focusing on finding and acquiring is a wonderful and simple feeling of self sufficiency. now we live in a world where people use that skill towards shopping. it is the main reason i bother to garden at all, just so that my kids and others can find and pick for the delight of it. and myself.

you should have seen us the other day at the spanish town mardi gras parade, soaked to the skin in the rain, picking glittering beads and treasures off the curbs after the parade. the weather was so bad most people ran for shelter. i had to help them be discerning and declare quits so that we could leave and get dry and warm up. it's so funny, ruby collected almost no beads and about fifty cups and a bunch of little plastic footballs. clay picked the unusual items that caught his eye. reed took a well rounded arrangement. they all wanted all the doubloons - fake coins. fortunately all the candy and stuffed animals were muddy and soaked.

i'll tell you about the chicken foot next time.

if it were me i would help her to learn to do all the steps of a simple recipe, perhaps on a certain day of the week. at some point this could include the selection of ingredients at the store. i think it would be something that i would eventually expect her to learn and be able to do alone so that she can have full force of control and full basking rights. of course this includes cleanup. some people want to do something new everytime and some people thrive on making the same thing (cake, spaghetti) or the same thing with variations. it has the same kind of focus, has less to do with her deafness, and a relatively quick gratification and feeling of usefulness and success.

my opinion on jaz's account : she can't find the limit and she is asking for one. it is too bewildering all the choices especially with all the opportunities available in this world. give her a limit. you can start with, i have a necklace i like to wear for parties, or, i have a necklace i wore everyday until i turned four and got a better one. or you can say, wear it with these shoes, or other external concrete conditions she can understand (i was going to say days of the week but that takes more managing and you have to feel up to it - reminding what day and probably endless questions and possible anxiety about what day at this age). these are conditions that that you are willing to abide by forever if needed, so apply foresight like this means having the necklace packed if you are bringing the extra shoes somewhere until she gets more flexible. they are too young to know how to arrange to world with how they feel. and yes, this puts us in an helping/enforcing position with added responsibility. it is better than saying wear it because i say so however, because then they have anxiety about your moods and whims and can pester you for approval. this is somewhere related to them learning to discipline themselves, by abiding by these little rules.

daffodil, i have to laugh at your examples because that is something like what i deal with concerning clay. it shows imagination and passion in your girl and how delightful she can be. i try to be light and laugh about it but sometimes he gets his feelings hurt. sometimes i just have to completely agree so that he has nothing to fight against. i can't remember how i dealt with it at three though. it sounds like she is finding where she has control and is possibly pressing your buttons. if it is making you jump to her, then it is working, and that is okay if you are okay with how it goes for the family. maybe i would find a ritual for myself for those instances since i am moody. i wonder if i didn't get upset ever if they would get unnecessarily hysterical at all.

i'm bemused i am throwing advice here and there. i have had a remarkably emotional weekend with my dh being furious at me and it's technically over now, but much stuff to deal with in the long run.


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## saritasmile (Sep 5, 2004)

Leah, I like casina's suggestion about doing something more w/ it as opposed to just saying no. I personally do the opposite of what people tell me, just cuz I _really don't like being told what to do.

Jaz, Razi will do things like that all in one sentence. Like: "I want to go outside I don't want to do outside" all in one blurred statement, although it's been awhile since he's actually flipped out about something like that. I really like what casina said (again)

Casina, I love your posts! I'd just been thinking about Jaz and Leah's issues and have this thought and idea but can't put them into a sensible way. Then I come here and you've said it perfectly!









I've been dealing with morning sickness over hear. I'm going to make an appt for acupuncture as I've heard that can really help. So far it isn't quite as bad as w/ razi but I'm still miserable and tired of the guessing game w/ food. Like is this food going to taste good or make me puke? I've been eating tons of cucumbers soaked in rice vinegar and sprinkled w/ salt. Real healthy I know...but so good. I was reading somewhere that ms is usually happening from 7 to 12 weeks. I'm not even 7 weeks until Saturday!!

miss you all

Hi birthjunkie and Daffodil!_


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

y

thinking of you all, but no time for a real post.

take care mamas


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## tea olive (Apr 15, 2002)

thanks sarita. these are things i've had to learn painfully because living without the village makes you adapt in strange ways. and things you will all know more easily and clearly when your kids are seven! it's amazing how much you learn so quickly due to necessity (by that i mean instead of going insane, or sometimes going insane first and knowing i have to change and try things until i get it better). i hate being bossed to and have a long way to overcoming my temper - i even had to hold back getting mad today when reed got hurt, which doesn't make any sense at all but it is my body's reaction. maybe i had no decent model for good parenting so here i am parenting myself, as fast as i can so i can model it. there's something about having two boys first and then a girl two years apart as well.....

for me, morning sickness is helped by eating frequently - i guess that's why it is called morning sickness, since it it more likely to happen after sleep and no food for awhile. i had to make myself eat or drink something in the middle of the night. the rainbow light prenatals and rrl tea helped me as well. i hear it is generally due to your ovaries being stretched to the limit regulating hormones that your placenta will do much better, and then you are exhausted making that big fancy organ as well. cucumbers and rice vinegar? much much healthier than what most people are craving and eating at the beginning anyway and don't feel bad about the lack of variety i think that is overrated. almonds are natural antinausea, as well as ginger i ate alot of candied ginger with ruby.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Thanks for the advice, mamas. Crystal has paralysis on the entire left side of her body, so she does need some guidance and supervision with cooking and cleaning, although of course I encourage her independence. (She's the type that if you give her an inch she'll take a mile, so we do have to be careful with what we allow her to do.) I've always been really lax about letting her open the fridge or pantry and pick out a snack if she's hungry, so I don't understand why she feels like she has to sneak the food and hide it in her backpack. Probably just a way for her to feel like she's in control of *something* in her life.

The little ones have been absolutely CRAZY today. It doesn't help that I'm moody and I twisted my ankle this morning. I really don't want to spend the day feeling sorry for myself, so I'll go find something more useful to do...


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *casina*
- i even had to hold back getting mad today when reed got hurt, which doesn't make any sense at all but it is my body's reaction. maybe i had no decent model for good parenting so here i am parenting myself, as fast as i can so i can model it.

This really really resonated with me casina. You really have a way with words.

sarita, i agree the rainbow lite prenatals are awesome & i ate nut butters in the middle of the night when preggo w? both girls. just a spoonfull or 2 when i got up to pee.

leah - maybe she wants something that is *hers* and she hides so she doesnt have to share?? totally guessing.

gotta run, aubrey *really* wants to eat the keyboard


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Hope you're hanging in there, Rynna...

Who is still nursing their 11-12/02 babes??? Zachary has been "mostly weaned" since February of last year, and he still asks daily for a little nip of the bobby. He'll latch on for a few seconds at a time, or say "I just kissin' them". He likes touching them too, asking if I have more milk in them yet. (To anyone who has never breastfed this must sound so horrible...) I was just wondering if anyone else's littles are still asking for the boob. Mine is still very much a boob-addict.









Zachary is starting to understand sarcasm and it is so much fun! I joke with him and he's joking back now. Both Z and J have both started saying "Hey, *I* have an idea..." with such enthusiasm. I am really really enjoying this age!!!


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## abranger (Dec 15, 2001)

GA is still going strong morning and nights and the rare daytime quickie.









I've been on vacation and digging out at work from being on vacaction







I'll post an update about us this weekend

amy


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

BeanBean pets my nursies all the time, and wants to kiss them constantly. He knows that the milk will come with the new baby, and occasionally reminds me that I promised him that he could have a nursie when BellyBean arrives.







It's not every day at this point anymore, but I think that's more of a tribute to his maturity than his desire not to nurse. BooBah couldn't care less. It's still completely insane to me that I've got a 3 year old who would still nurse every day if I had milk, while my 20 month old is more interested in sticking things into her belly button and sucking her thumb than nursing...









He may change his mind after the baby is born, or try nursing again and decide he doesn't like it... but I doubt it. I know that BooBah will not nurse, or that if she tries it she'll laugh and walk away, but BeanBean still seems very interested in the nursies. He likes to sleep next to them, and occasionally falls asleep petting them. Silly Bean.









My van looks like it's on schedule, repair-wise. That means I could concievably be driving it by Friday. I want to get excited, but I'm afraid to because every time I start to be remotely happy about something, more crap happens.


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Mariah is still nursing.

Good to hear from you Amy







y


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get your car back and everything quiets down for awhile, Rynna.







:









I almost wish I could start nursing Zachary again... I have gained 10 pounds since I stopped making milk.







I can't wait till I start nursing my next babe and the weight just falls off, lol.


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## Brayg (Jun 18, 2003)

Owen weaned right before he turned 2. I miss it a lot, but he self weaned and it couldn't have been more perfect. I have no regrets since it was all Owen-led. I actually asked him the other day if he missed having nummies or if he likes his orange juice better and he said he liked his orange juice. LOL He has no regrets either, I guess.


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## DecemberSun (Jul 6, 2003)

Just a little bump to say hey...

It's been quiet here lately, but come over to the new thread if ya wanna...


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## punkprincessmama (Jan 2, 2004)

Thanks Leah, i didn't know there was a new thread!


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