# Anyone worried about having an ugly baby? Am I horrible?



## Amila (Apr 4, 2006)

Ok, this might sound so totally horrible, but there is a little part of me that worries my baby will come out looking really ugly. We went to this place called Womb with a View (they do 3-D ultrasounds) and needless to say the pics were not all that flattering. I realize that after they contort them and digitally remove the placenta from the side of her face, etc. that the picture you get isn't really what the baby looks like, but I am kind of freaked. Omg, am I going to be a horrible mother? Will I think my baby is beautiful no matter what she looks like? Me and my fiance are both decent in the looks category, but now I am having all of these thoughts, and they are terrible! Does anyone else feel this way or am I just nuts?







:


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

:

I felt the EXACT same way with my first. My whole pg I was worried about having an "ugly" baby. See, I think all babies are beautiful in that baby way, but lets be honest, most of them are far less than attractive. I'm one of those brutally honest people and I just don't think I could belive my baby was cute if he/she really wasn't. I was so concerned about it that after I pushed out just her head I said, "is she ugly?" My mw assured me that, "no, she's exceptionally beautiful!" At which point I said okay, and went on pushing. I don't know why I asked, its not like I wanted them to push her back in, and anyway, how can you tell if a scrunched up baby head is attractive?!! It just came out of my mouth without thought, so it must have been pretty engrained. Now, even if I had the ugliest baby ever, I would still love him/her just the same, I just don't think I'd be one of those mothers who thinks my kids are super cute when they're really not! Maybe I'm horrible too!


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

i thought all my babies were beautiful!! I look back at pictures of them when they were babies and they weren't that beautiful







but at the time i thought they were perfect!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Ha ha, I read your thread title and laughed. I had a dream with DS one that I gave birth to like, the ugliest baby ever!! The dream freaked me out so bad. He was like HUGE (like 20 lbs) and really fat and kind of deformed or something. And he wouldn't nurse. In the dream I was sitting in another room, crying, because he was so terrible looking.

Weird, huh? I guess it's just pregnancy paranoia. With this baby, I've had several dreams that I birth her and she's totally gorgeous. So go figure...

Yes, I do think you'll think the baby is beautiful whatever they look like. You'll be just so amazed when they're born, and so full of emotion. They do get cuter a few days after birth, especially if they have a squished head, but still you'll be completely blown away!


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## faeriewisp (Mar 13, 2005)

i've seen a few of those 3-d pictures and I personally and respectfully think they are just plain creepy and flat out uneccessary, not to mention the unknown risk of ultrasound. THe 3-d pics look like dead grey babies!

On a lighter note, I have wondered in the past few weeks if Angelin Jolie had scary thoughts in the back of her head about her baby turning out really ugly by some unlucky twist of fate!


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## momsmyjob (Oct 7, 2003)

It's your baby, when it's born you will think he/she is beautiful


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

I was with my first, I was relieved to find that his facial features were all in proportion with each other.


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## rrmrose (Aug 10, 2005)

My MIL is not the prettist lady I have ever seen, so I have worried that our children might look like her.... Well I can always dress them really cute to make up for there looks.

Rachel


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## JunieMoon (Apr 3, 2006)

I was scared with my first. He came out absolutely beautiful! I think all newborns are beautiful, but there is always the fear of deformaties or something.

I think it's really sad that we worry though. How would it feel to be that ugly baby whose mother was worried about them not being cute? Every child needs a mother who thinks they are the most beautiful creature they've ever laid eyes on.

My son is a pretty boy. He was always mistaken for a girl as a baby. Huge eyes with long dark eyelashes. Really feminine features. One thing I fear is having a girl who is not as pretty as her brother.


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## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

I was worried about that as well. I had seen baby pictures of DSS and even though it was a different set of genetics I was worried DD would look like his pictures.







: DD is beautiful and yes you will think so cause it's your baby. I look back at her newborn pics and sometimes go, "huh...not so cute"







. My dad is one of those honest types who has no problems telling you your baby is ugly.







When she was first born he said the whole cute thing but never really "meant" it right? A month later we went to a festival with him and he says, "You know I say people's babies are cute at first cause you know they're babies and all but L.....yours is geuninely cute."


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

From the regular ultrasound, I thought one of my boys was "funny looking." He looked a little elfish in the picture. He was born, and he WAS a little elfishly funny looking, but I still thought he was pretty perfect. After a week, he looked completely different, not funny looking at all anymore. My dad still gives me a hard time for having thought that ds would be funny looking, and I always insist that he WAS funny looking! I think he's turned out pretty gorgeous, though, but I'm certainly biased.

I'm sure you will think your baby is perfect!

Lex


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## BabyBumblebee (Mar 16, 2005)

I think that u/s pics are incredibly unflattering: they seem to distort the features.

Yes, you will love and think your babe is beautiful, no matter what! I remember looking at dd, with her hairy shoulders and vernix, and broken blood vessels in her eyes and just thinking that she was the most beautiful girl in the world - and to me she was. Now looking back at he pictures I can honestly say that objectively she's a lot prettier now! Mother love is a truly amazing thing...don't worry


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Your baby will be beautiful beyond belief to you.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faeriewisp*
i've seen a few of those 3-d pictures and I personally and respectfully think they are just plain creepy and flat out uneccessary, not to mention the unknown risk of ultrasound. THe 3-d pics look like dead grey babies!

I pass a huge billboard for one of these ultrasound places every day...it is so CREEPY!!!


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## katiesmom (Dec 11, 2003)

With dd we got an ultrasound at 38 weeks, where you can really see the face, and she was all nose. We were freaked, but thought, that's not what her nose will really look like, it's distorted, etc. Well, lo and behold, she came out with that nose, and at first, I have to say, I was freaked. If I didn't see her come out, I would've said she wasn't my baby!
I changed her name to something she could handle if she were ugly.
Now, she is a beautiful little 4 yo who could've handled any name, and now I 'm so mad at myself for changing her name from a unique, pretty family name to a more common name! So, you never know what they'll look like down the road regardless of ultrasound pics or what they look like right away!


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## savannah smiles (May 4, 2004)

That's a common concern. I didn't think about it much when I was pg with
dd1 but when she was born I remember being shocked at how weired she looked. She looked like a gooey alien. My dh remembers feeling afraid as well.







Luckily, after a day or so, she looked like a sweet little newborn but then morphed into a rather odd looking baby (lots of hair, big eyes that were always opened wide) and then around 3 months she started becoming cute. I think she was a very cute baby and toddler and although that cuteness fades as they get older, she's now a reasonably pretty 4.5 yr old. Who knows how she'll look in a few years? But I don't care!
When we were pg the second time, I was worried that if we had a girl that she might be the "ugly sister," a dynamic I saw a lot in school. She was born looking nothing like her sister and, at the moment, she looks like your typical 4 month old baby. She often gets mistaken for a boy, lol! I think she'll turn out just fine, though, so no worries here.
Sorry to write an essay about it but I saw an awful Dr. Phil where a mom treated her two dd's very differently based on their looks, something I just can't imagine.


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## FrozenMommy (May 25, 2006)

Should we really be worrying about how "beautiful" an infant is? Can a child be anything BUT beautiful??? Whatever happened to "beauty is on the inside?"









The world would be a much happier place if we all stopped using the words "ugly" and "beautiful" in regards to human beings.


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## oregongirlie (Mar 14, 2006)

Remember Seinfield and the ugly baby episode? I worried about that before getting pregnant and was assured that even if the baby is really homely, it won't be to the mother. You'll be like this







:


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

I have seen UGLY babies. I am sure yours will be fine. Ours wer beautiful (NOT just MY opinion either). Our ped told us that with both our children. We get comments ALL the time on how adorable they are. I am sure you will too.


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## miranda (Mar 8, 2003)

I don't know that I ever worried about it during pregnancy, but I just wanted to chime in and agree with all the ladies that your child will be the most beautiful person you've ever seen when you meet it.


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## Yulia_R (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FrozenMommy*
Should we really be worrying about how "beautiful" an infant is? Can a child be anything BUT beautiful??? Whatever happened to "beauty is on the inside?"









The world would be a much happier place if we all stopped using the words "ugly" and "beautiful" in regards to human beings.

Inside beauty is wonderful and very important! But it definitely won't hurt to have both in-and-outside







. No?


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## midwifetx (Mar 16, 2005)

I had a couple of 'cute' babies and a couple of 'ugly' babies. By the time they were 12weeks old, they were all pretty cute.

I should say, that they were beautiful and precious as my tiny children, but definately, by the world's standard, not so pretty those first few weeks.


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## monkeys4mama (Apr 25, 2006)

We never had any 3-d us but we did get an us right at the end of my first pregnancy. There was this profile veiw of our babys face and the top lip seemed to stick way out and the bottom lip couldn't be seen and there was this knob of a chin. I was totally freaked out that we were going to give birth to a weird-looking baby!

Well, she was born adn she was beautiful after all. The lip thing turned out to be that she had this funny habit of suckign on her lower lip! lol! She was doing it in my belly and she kept it up for weeks after birth. Prolly one reason she was so hard ot breastfeed at first.

When dd #4 was born, I thought her eyes seemed reallly tiny and I was so upset! My mil has these little tiny piggy-looking eyes and I was freaked out that my baby was gonna have little squinty eyes like her. My other kids have big gorgeous eyes so it was really disturbign to me. I still *loved* her totally tho. It's not liek you won't love the child. I was worried for her tho, iykwim. It made me sad and anxious for her. Thankfully she turned out to have very pretty adn very normal eyes. They are now just like her siblings. Not small or squinty at all. Some babies just look different when they're born.

Good luck!


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## HomeBirthMommy (Mar 15, 2003)

I didn't have this fear with previous pregnancies. Maybe that's a good thing b/c when I had a look at my first child, I was shocked. She didn't look _anything_ like I had imagined. Both dh and I are light haired (white-blond as children). I have blue eyes, his are pale hazel. DD was born with *tons* of black hair and dark brown eyes. She was soooo hairy-she had sideburns, hairy ears, hairy back. I was expecting a blue eyed, blonde (or bald) baby and it really took me a little while to get used to the way she looked. She's 6 now and her hair lightened to blonde and her eyes are beautiful deep, soulful brown. She's is beautiful (inside and out







). As a baby, of course she was beautiful to me, but it wasn't an instant beauty thing.

DD #2 looked much like that at birth as well(not quite as hairy!), but I was prepared for it the second time around and she was gorgeous to me from the first look.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

My daughter looked like an alien when she was born, but you know what, I didn't care







and she outgrew the puffy eyes very quickly. You'll be fine,too.


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## Amila (Apr 4, 2006)

Thanks mamas, I feel a LOT better! I know it is terrible to worry about how a baby will look on the outside and whether or not she will be "beautiful" but I think it is a fact of life, and something that obviously goes through a lot of people's minds, however shallow. I kind of regret getting the 3-D ultrasound, and I DO sort of agree that the babies look creepy and dead, and kind of feel stupid for getting it- here I am refusing Rhogam, Vit K, eye goop, vaccines, and a whole host of other interventions, yet I go and get a commemorative ultrasound







Anyway, I am sure little Ava will be beautiful inside and out, and I know that I will think she is perfect no matter what.


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## sciencemama (Nov 13, 2004)

You know something interesting-- studies have found that just looking at your own baby/child activates the "reward" center of your brain. I recently reviewed a paper on this here (Mothers in the MRI).

Most people find it kind of draining to sit through an MRI study...having to hold still, feeling confined ...but moms looking at pictures of their babies come out saying they feel GREAT. Chances are, you'll just







love







staring into your little one's face!


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

Im sure you will think she is just beautiful!


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

Im sure you will think she is just beautiful!


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

Im sure you will think she is just beautiful!


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Canadianmommax3*
i thought all my babies were beautiful!! I look back at pictures of them when they were babies and they weren't that beautiful







but at the time i thought they were perfect!

Just had to comment on your "Tim Horton's Lover" in your sig! We go there nearly every morning.


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## boscopup (Jul 15, 2005)

I still have the picture from DS's u/s at 29w1d, just a few days before he was born. It was a 2D, but man it was creepy! They got a good face shot, and he looked like some zombie creature. It's really really really scary to look at that face. Now when he came out, he was absolutely adorable. A bit on the thin side (ok, alot on the thin side, but he was in the NICU next to some micropreemies, so he didn't look like an Ethopian anymore after I saw them - he was almost 4 lbs, and they were barely over 1 lb). Turns out that as he grew, he was actually incredibly adorable, and looked nothing like the scary thing in that u/s picture!









Now he's developing an overbite, which I'm really not happy about. But not because of his looks... it's because he got it from ME, and it required jaw surgery (one jaw significantly bigger than the other, and it causes problems chewing). He goes to the dentist next week for the first time, and I'll see if the dentist thinks he's developing my problem, but it's a definite overbite already, and his teeth are perfectly straight. Ugh. I remember very well being called "bucktooth" in kindergarten.


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nathan1097*
Just had to comment on your "Tim Horton's Lover" in your sig! We go there nearly every morning.









yes it is my addiction!


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## Phoebe (Jun 12, 2003)

I thought the same thing when pg with ds. I think dh and I both rate about a 7...a little above average. What if my baby grows up to be a total dog. I mean, it's not like you would be oblivious to the fact that your kid is ugly! But ds came out picture perfect and I think he may be the cutest little boy on the planet...REALLY!









On another note, my mom always told me that my grandpa, her dad, said that I was the ugliest baby he'd ever seen the first time he saw me! For some reason I always found that kind of sweet! I didn't turn out to be the ugliest woman on the planet I can assure you! (Frankly, I never saw what was so ugly about me as a newborn either but oh well!)


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## grace's voice (May 12, 2005)

My mom has a theory. 2 pretty people have ugly babies. 2 ugly people have pretty babies. What happens when a pretty person and an ugly person reproduce, I do not know. Honestly, I think it was her way of dealing with the fact she thinks she's ugly. Who knows, my mom is a little on the crazy side! For the record, I don't think I'm ugly and I don't think my daughter is ugly either!

I saw the Dr. Phil episode as well, AND just the other day I saw the ugly baby Seinfeld.







The Dr. Phil one was so sad. The mother was so superficial she was just disgusted by the daughter who wasn't pretty and way favored the other one. She BLAMED he feelings toward her daughter on her daughter! It was sick. Then she wanted her daughter to take more pride in herself/her appearance. Well, gee, how will she learn how to do that when her mother treats her like crap! She was only 7! Horrible, I tell you, just horrible.

I would love my ugly baby just as much as if he/she were pretty. And, as a pp said, you never know, people can be at different levels of attractiveness at different times in their lives. I deffinately went through that "akward" stage. But, I think I'd know if my kid was unattractive.


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## WNB (Apr 29, 2006)

New babies usually are kind of ugly, or at least, "not Gerber". I think I'd be worse for the wear too if I had to squeeze my head and then my entire body through some opening that only measures a few centimeters wide (even if I were a lot smaller). Maybe thinking about the relatively traumatic experience that being born is will help you "excuse" your baby any perceived ugliness.


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## OldFashionedGirl (Mar 22, 2004)

I'm SO glad someone other than me brought this up! It's not as if I'm losing sleep over this, but it is a concern of mine. Someone said there's no such thing as an ugly baby. I beg to differ. We've all seen them. And we all lie thru our teeth and say, "Aw, how cute!" b/c no Mom wants to hear that she just gave birth to Shrek.

I only saw the commericals for that Dr. Phil the other day, but it was pretty disturbing to say the least. I'd hardly put myself in that lady's category, but still.

On some level, though, it's not entirely selfish. I mean, certainly I don't want to be responsible for producing hideous children, but also, we all know that life is easier if you're attractive.

On the flip side, I'm also marginally concerned that if I have a daughter, she'll be TOO pretty and that I'll be jealous of her. Or what if she turns into one of those horrible, snotty, pretentious bitches whose only redeeming quality is their looks?

Anyway, I guess if you're a horrible person for worrying, that makes at least two of us!


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## BlissP (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wednesday*
Your baby will be beautiful beyond belief to you.
I pass a huge billboard for one of these ultrasound places every day...it is so CREEPY!!!

I agree - I thought my baby was the most gorgeous baby ever to be birthed. Looking back, I realize that I may have been blinded a bit by love (though I still think he's amazing...)

You think that billboard is creepy.... check this out - this place will put your ultrasound picture on a COOKIE! TO EAT!! Click Here

Does anyone else find this as gruesome as I do? *shudder*


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## lotus.blossom (Mar 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlissP*
You think that billboard is creepy.... check this out - this place will put your ultrasound picture on a COOKIE! TO EAT!! Click Here

Does anyone else find this as gruesome as I do? *shudder*

Ultrasound....get in ma belly!







(Yes I do find it creepy)

From my one 18 wk ultrasound I felt that the side profile of my baby looked funny, like he has an abnormally large nose, so I freaked for a bit. Large noses run on my moms side of the family and my husband has a rather large one too. But I also think that the ultrasound at that stage of pregnancy is really hard to read anyway. From the head on view he looked like he has a really cute face! SO yes, deep down I worry about what my child will look like. I had a very elven creature look about me all through my babyhood and dh was a gorgeous baby so I'm not too concerned, we have good genes. But I have seen the most beautiful babies be born to the most unfortunate looking people. So you never know what you're gonna get!


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