# My 5 year old boy can't stop twirling his hair



## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

I know this sounds really stupid--but it bothers me. He has a little clump of hair on top of his head that he seems to twirl all day long. It used to stand straight up, but I am letting it grow out so that it at least lays flatter.

It isn't so much the look of it, as that I have a condition in my family that people actually PULL OUT their hair. My older sister started as a "twirler", but turned into a puller. I don't want this for my son.

I haven't brought it up with his doctor, because I don't want to talk about it in front of DS. I try to ignore it, but sometimes I ask him to try to stop. Tonight, it had been going on for a half hour & DS wasn't even eating his supper. WHen I asked him to stop, he started crying & then I felt terrible.

Anyone know anything about twirling?


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## hoppytoad (Aug 8, 2002)

My son used to twirl so much he'd actually pull it out. It worried me, too, because my sister pulls out her hair. He started when he was about 3. Finally it got so bad I buzzed it really short.

He didn't remember to do it for a while after it grew in, but then he started back up about 6 months later. I had to cut it really short again, and he's never done t since.

I hope this doesn't sound cruel, but he knew why we had to cut it short, and it bummed him out that he didn't have anything to twirl at first. I think he just got over the habit, though, when there wasn't any hair to grab onto.

Maybe you could give him a baby doll with long enough hair and have him twirl that?

Good luck finding something that helps!


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## peacepie (Jun 17, 2002)

this isnt the same thing, but my ds#1 was 1 1/2 yo when we had his brother... and from that day on, for the next three or so years, he would play with his belly button, always lifting layers to get to it, it was like a security blanket for him, i think. he would walk around constantly with his fingers in his belly button; i remember thinking he'd never stop. well he's nine now and thats all just a distant memory...
i just noticed you have a little one in the house, and wondered if your ds's hair twirling is his 'security blanket'?
sounds like a good idea to substitute something, like a doll..
good luck!


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## KylaKay (Nov 20, 2001)

I have a daughter that will be 3 at the end of March and am also worried about this hair twirling. I have had to cut her hair, because she twirls it so tight (when she is tired mostly) that I have been in the car driving somewhere and her finger tip is turning PURPLE with the hair tightly would around it, had to stop the car, cut or untangle it and have not always had something handy to cut it with (try ripping the knot). She has (had) long blonde hair, I just cut short in a bob hoping it would help (she had a spot I had to cut out when she wrapped it around her finger to the point of purpleness again). Well, it has made no difference, though I have not had it to the point of cutting off finger circulation lately. My mom said she did it as a kid and was made fun of in school, so I really, really hope she will drop this habit. I have had to cut her finger out of her self-made hair knot more times than I care to remember and am at my witt's end. She is hair obsessed I guess.







:


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

DD is also an occasional hair twirler. So far I am able to just push her hand down, she does it without thinking, and I'm hoping it won't get any worse.

Good luck!


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## serenetabbie (Jan 13, 2002)

KaylaKay, we met a lady in San Fran this summer who's little blonde DD did the same exact thing! I talked to her because I noticed her DD's hair sticking up just like DS's.
DS has done this since he was born. He was born with his hand on his head, and for months would automaticly sleep like that. When he was really little, he would rip it out in frustration when his finger got caught in it







He is almost 6 now, and still does it. My solution was to cut his hair short and complement him on how nice it looks when it is not twisted into a big antenna looking dreadloc. he will pet my hair, DD's hair, anyone he can reach (rather than his own hair) if he can. I tryed the doll with hair, the soft silk blankie, fluffy toys, to no avail. I do think it is a security thing. I figure he will outgrow it eventually.


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## KylaKay (Nov 20, 2001)

I feel so much better knowing I am not the only one. She really, really has a hair obsession, especially when tired. The dog absolutely loves to lay and she will stroke him from head to tail really nice, all the way down, all the way up, she even twirls his ears!!!! Fortunately he loves it. My problem now is that I explained knots and they are hard to get out of our hair and hurt trying to brush/comb them out.....on and on, but now rather than let me see she created a knot, she has started taking two hands and "ripping" her hair apart to get the knot out. It has gotten a lot better though, she also loves to stroke anyone who will her touch their hair. So she will go up to another child and gently stroke the back of their hair, and it looks so sweet, only I know her obsession, it is kinda funny though....


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

Just a slightly different perspective. I am a hair twirler, alway have been since I was little. My mom is too. The only person who ever tried to stop me was my grandma, and boy did it piss me off when she did! She even slapped my hand two days before my wedding when I was playing with my hair. It has always been just sort of a habit. I never pulled any hair out though. Just played with it. So I can see how pulling the hair out would be a problem, but the twirling itself might not be a big deal. So if it isn't pulling hair out or cutting off circulaton to a finger (yeouch!







), it might be okay to let it go. It always frustrated me to no end when someone would stop me from playing with my hair, and made me notice it even more.

Just my perspective, take it for what it is worth!


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

My 4yo dd doesn't twirl her hair, she bites her nails down to bloody stumps and then when she runs out of nail, she peels the skin around them off with her teeth. We've been working on that, now she's mostly stopped biting the nails but still goes after the skin. I'm terrified she's going to get some kind of infection....

Why do they do these things?? You'd think a purple finger would hurt, pulling hair out would hurt.... I don't get it.

When she was a baby I could pretty much control what she was doing. Now, I can't and it's hard to let go.

But the real reason I replied to this thread was to tell Quee The Bean that I still have my Kermit the Frog "Frog Prince" record from when I was a kid, it's one of DD's favorites. Bake the Hall in the Candle of her Brain!

Hee Hee Hee


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## CerridwenLorelei (Aug 28, 2002)

mine hasn't pulled it out yet but he is a twirler and a half!!
You are not alone


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

my ds #2 twirled his hair constantly when he was 3. He mostly did it when was tired or stressed. He is now 6 and has completely stopped. Kinda makes me sad sometimes when I think of it. I can still picture that little tow headed baby with his thumb in his mouth and his hand in his hair........









Oh, FWIW, I have always been a hair twirler and still am.... I do it when I have something on my mind


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

I've always twirled my hair, matter of fact I am sitting her doing it now. I'm sure when I was a girl I tangled it and such. I keep ds' hair cut pretty short (I just go over it with a 4) so I don't know if he has twirling tendancies or not. But he likes to twiddle with my hair.


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## LiamnEmma (Nov 20, 2001)

I've seen lots and lots of kids twirl hair...my old roommate's dd did it, and I notice my dd twirls her hair when she settles in to drink milk when she's tired. That said, if trichotillomania (hair pulling) ran in my family, I'd also be a wee bit concerned. For years it was grouped in the obsessive-compulsive category, but now it's seen more as an impulsive disorder, more like, the body goes as long as it cans, as the chemicals build up, then it just has to have a "hit", so to speak. It's grouped with things like nail-biting. It's a form of self-mutilation...scary to hear, for me because I bite my nails constantly. Anyway, I don't think that the twirling will necessarily lead to the ttm, but I'd watch it closely and look for the pattern.


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## LisainCalifornia (May 29, 2002)

I know you are worried that this behavior is a bit OCDish (as is pulling hair out) but my son's neurologist told me that a bit of OCD behavior in the preschool years is extrodinarily common. It has to do with rapid brain growth and development--neurons being connected and new connections being made.

Even if your son is dealing with with some OCD that does last beyond these preschool years--well, that is common too. I wonder how many of us here have some OCD behaviors--or other issues that we have to deal with like chronic anixiety or worry? I know I am a worry wart--and it often gets the best of me and is a struggle for me. But that is just one little part of me.

I would say either way (OCD or just normal preschool twiddling) try your best not to make an issue of it. Either way it probably cannot be helped, and it obviously something he feel comforted doing, bless his heart.

My son has TS and there were tics that he would do before we knew he had TS that I use to try to get him to stop. Now that I know it is just a part of his TS, I feel a bit badly about all of the times I would gently remind him or try to convince him to stop. But the diagnosis was freeing for me in a way--because I could just let him *be*. I ignore the tics now, and that seems to work well for us.

Hugs,
Lisa


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