# Did you have any weird dreams before your loss? Any bad feelings?



## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

So, it's been over a year since my loss, but I still vividly remember some of the dreams and feelings I had during that pregnancy.

For one, even during TTC, I did not feel right about things, and that did not change when I got my +. I always used terms like, "If the pregnancy goes well, then we'll do such and such with the baby..." Things like that.

In hindsight, that is very comforting to me. Especially not feeling right during TTC. Next time around, I fully intend to listen to my gut, and not just assume that it's normal anxiety, etc.

I also had bad dreams during the pregnancy. Lots of dreams about kittens, which are a bad omen if you believe in dream analysis. But anyway...

Also, during the week before I found out my baby had died, I clearly remember 2 dreams that left me, just&#8230; ugh&#8230; One was I was walking down this dirt road, and found a bunch of dead baby turtles and all of their shells were crushed. And then just a couple nights before I found out, I dreamt that I bought a carton of eggs and most of them were broken. My immediate thought was a bad feeling about the baby, and that was confirmed shortly after.

So, that was my experience. I know not everyone takes things like this very seriously, and we all know bizarre dreams are common during pregnancy, but for me, these were just different. I always "just knew", a feeling I NEVER had during my pregnancy with my son.


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## sphinxie (Feb 28, 2006)

Oh, this is interesting. I just had an mc (and am popping in here to ask a question) at 6 wks. So that wasn't a lot of time to get signals, but things did work out in an interesting way. At first I could feel the baby's energy and that was amazing, but a few days before the mc I stopped being able to feel it, I thought I was just tuned out. I also had the thought "I should tell DH that I'm vaguely worried about mcs..." a day or two before there was any physical sign whatsoever, and I had no actual expectation of having one, and really hardly much worry at all.

It's curious that you mention kitten dreams, because the one dream where the baby showed up--which had a great feeling about it--there was a strong kitten association. But I'm also a bit kitten obsessed so I might not put as much weight onto that as someone else.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

yep...I "knew" with all three of my losses. I just did. I never gave into those signs, and maybe that is good, what good would it have done me? But I knew...in the deepest of my heart that things would not bode well with my pregnancies. It does make me feel good that I am in tune with myself, but on the other hand I wish I wasn't, kwim?

Hugs sweetie!!


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## ursusarctos (Dec 16, 2008)

I had a miscarriage at 5 and a half weeks only a day after finding out. I never "felt" the baby's presence nor did I have any particularly weird dreams but when I told my partner he sort of freaked out (we are young and still in school) and before I could blink he was talking to my belly, telling the baby in a panicky voice to "get out of there!" At the time I felt a little sort of shift inside of me, almost like a physical click, and I got kind of mad at him for doing that. We did talk it out over the course of the day and he calmed down and became accepting and supportive, if resigned.
Then I woke up at 3 AM bleeding all over the bed...
I don't know if what he said had anything to do with the miscarriage, because you can never know these things for sure. But I feel that it did. I have never blamed him for it, especially since the miscarriage was partly a relief for both of us at the time, but I think that he had something to do with it. The pregnancy and birth process totally manifests in and is sensitive to subtle levels of energy exchange, which sounds kind of hippy dippy but I don't know how else to say it. So OP, yes, I think that your premonitions and dreams were totally trustworthy. Often I think you can tell if it's intuition or just paranoia because the intuition sort of "sticks" whereas paranoia you can shove aside or forget about more easily.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

The night before *the* ultrasound, I dreamt that I woke up in a puddle of blood. I told my husband and it didn't even register for him. He said, "So what?"

I wonder if it was just nerves or if I really knew....


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## mom-to-jj (Sep 8, 2008)

I dreamed that my baby was born early. She was so small that I put her in a coffee mug and carried her around. I was so excited to have her, and somehow I knew she was a girl, but at the same time I was scared because I knew it wasn't good that she was born so early.

That was probably at about 6 weeks. I started spotting at 7 weeks and a week later was diagnosed with a blighted ovum m/c. I have always felt that my body knew something was wrong.

I named her Ashlin, because it means "dream."


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## mirtodd (Dec 2, 2001)

With my 3rd pregnancy, everything went along as usual for me. I was very shocked at the U/S when they said it was a boy because I always felt that I was supposed to have another girl, and for some reason the pregnancy has a bit of a surreal feeling to it. I am a planner and I never bought a sinlge baby item until the week before I had a placental abruption. Also, he was the only child I had that came to me in a dream while I was pregnant to tell me thier name...


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## expat-mama (May 28, 2008)

My first miscarriage everything was normal until I had a day when I just knew. I had told a couple of people I was pregnant but that day and until the day my missed miscarriage was confirmed, I didn't feel comfortable talking about or planning for the baby because I knew it wasn't going to live somehow. I think that was like 4 days before the u-s showed us an empty sac and 5 days before I started miscarrying. The night before that u-s I couldn't sleep and I told my husband I was scared the u-s wouldn't go well.
My second miscarriage I knew a few days after I was pregnant that it wouldn't work out. Even after betas came back fine, I knew and my husband thought I was being pessimistic and trying to insulate myself from another possible loss. But I was right.








I'm scared to get those feelings again. They are horrible, terrible feelings knowing your baby is dead or dying and there is nothing you can do.


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## VillageMom6 (Dec 2, 2008)

My husband is the one who had a premonition. It was early in the pregnancy and I was talking about the possibility of having a home birth. He was very hesitant about the idea without giving a real reason.

After a few days he finally admitted that he had had a dream in which an evil serpent devoured the baby after birth. He wanted me to deliver in the hospital because he felt that it was safer, if his dream indicated that the baby's life was going to be at risk.

As it turns out, death did take our baby too soon (9 weeks) but we have hope and faith that we will see her again in heaven. My husband is no mystic... he rarely has dreams like that... but when he does, they've always come true.


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## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

Dreams...
around the day we conceived Milos i had two very powerful dreams of a beautiful little baby girl in a red jumper and then one of her grown up dancing. So i wondered if i was having a girl during the entire pregnancy even though symptoms wise i could feel i having a boy.

During the pregnancy i can only remember one dream about a baby... that i came across a deformed baby with a kind of odd mouth and i wondered if it was able to be breast fed. i popped the baby onto my breast no problem and felt comforted that this sad abandoned child was able to be nourished.

The night before i went into labor i dreamt that my mother's partner (my "step-mom") died and i felt remorse in the dream that i never got a chance to tell her that i loved her.
Certainly feels ominous now. But i had also had a dream of miscarrying and bleeding during the first trimester.

My husband bought me a book during my pregnancy...

Dream Child: Creation and new life in dreams of pregnant women
by Regina Abt, Irmgard Bosch and Vivianne MacKrell


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Sorry, guys, I'm lurking - I came in from new posts...

But I was wondering - for those of you that have other children that were not lost, did you have similar dreams with the other children? The reason I ask is that when I was pregnant with my son, I had what I deemed the "dead baby dream" where I was at his funeral and completely numb. It was a horrible, horrible dream and I really feel for those of you who really had to go through it. I cried for days after that dream. That was at, maybe 28 weeks or something (?) and I was totally freaked out for the rest of my pregnancy, but things turned out ok.

I do believe in the power of dreams as premonition, though, which is why it freaked me out so much, I suppose, but now I wonder how common it is in any given pregnancy.

So sorry if I'm imposing.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Juvysen, with my son, I did have some crazy, even bad dreams during my pregnancy. They left me anxious for sure... but not in a deep in my gut, BAD feeling that I had with the baby I lost.

I definitely think dreams like that are common in any pregnancy, because naturally, mothers worry about that kind of thing. But the difference for me, was the feeling that things were just not right at all, something I could not shake no matter how much I tried to talk myself into "just normal, pregnancy anxiety". It was just very different.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Thank you. I definitely was able to talk myself down from the "omg" feeling, so I get what you're saying. I don't know why, but I feel like this is very good to know. You ladies have really taught me so much (I lurk here more than I probably should).







:


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## my2girlz (Oct 7, 2002)

I had a "feeling" that something wasn't right. I found out last Thursday that I was expecting #4. I had a really hard time excepting the fact, but I thought it was because I had been on the pill and this was a complete surprise. I felt I shouldn't tell anyone except my dh. Not even my kids know what happened. On Sunday I started bleeding and dh had me go to the ER. DH was supposed to go out of town Sunday afternoon for business. It was strange that dh hadn't even started packing yet. Maybe he had a feeling as well.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Not for me. I was super excited about my last pregnancy and had no idea it was a loss until I started bleeding.


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

No dreams, but bad feelings. I definitely had a higher anxiety level than my other pregnancies, but I decided it was b/c my mom lost her third.


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## ursusarctos (Dec 16, 2008)

but AntoninBeGonin I just read the latest post on your blog (clicked on the link in your signature) and I am in total agreement with you. Spanking IS totally about underestimating kids' intelligence. Thank you for putting it so clearly and precisely.


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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vermillion* 
So, it's been over a year since my loss, but I still vividly remember some of the dreams and feelings I had during that pregnancy.

For one, even during TTC, I did not feel right about things, and that did not change when I got my +. I always used terms like, "If the pregnancy goes well, then we'll do such and such with the baby..." Things like that.

In hindsight, that is very comforting to me. Especially not feeling right during TTC. Next time around, I fully intend to listen to my gut, and not just assume that it's normal anxiety, etc.

I also had bad dreams during the pregnancy. Lots of dreams about kittens, which are a bad omen if you believe in dream analysis. But anyway...

Also, during the week before I found out my baby had died, I clearly remember 2 dreams that left me, just&#8230; ugh&#8230; One was I was walking down this dirt road, and found a bunch of dead baby turtles and all of their shells were crushed. And then just a couple nights before I found out, I dreamt that I bought a carton of eggs and most of them were broken. My immediate thought was a bad feeling about the baby, and that was confirmed shortly after.

So, that was my experience. I know not everyone takes things like this very seriously, and we all know bizarre dreams are common during pregnancy, but for me, these were just different. I always "just knew", a feeling I NEVER had during my pregnancy with my son.

Yes. Although we tried our best to ignore them. Both my husband and I knew this baby was only on loan.
I was constantly a worrier - which isn't like me. Im usually so laid back - but the whole time I was on edge. I went with hubby before our first ultrasound to see heartbeat to a local thrift shop. And while we were there I kept looking at the baby clothes and books - but I refused to buy anything. Hubby found a blue angel night light and instantly bought it. Didn't know why - but wanted it really badly and wanted it for us. Then we got to see the heartbeat that day!
Then that evening I started spotting. Nothing big and heavy but it freaked me out (as it would anyone). I continued to spot and saw the doctor again on that friday (2 days later). Saw his heart beating again - and it was faster and he was going through a growth spurt. But I felt like...I dont know - it wasn't as relieving as it should have been.
Then Sunday I went to ER because the bleeding became red and more. Saw his heartbeat again - and got to see the more detailed ultrasound - he was getting much bigger and his heart was beating perfectly. I still didn't feel 100% good about it all though. I treasured and recorded that ultrasound because I just knew it wasn't going to last.
Tuesday I went to the gyno because I passed the smalled little clot. They did ultrasound and baby was firmly attached and heartbeat was faster again.
I cried through the whole ultrasound and never looked up at the screen. I was convinced that the heart beat meant nothing - he was going to go. I regret that more than anything in my life right now. I never watched and didn't get a picture. (I did see the picture 2 days ago while at gyno for other reasons). I just knew.
Then about 5 hours later I passed him and saw him and held him - not the way I wanted to hold him - big and pink and healthy. But held him as big as my thumbnail, and white in his little sac








I think we do know as mothers when something just isn't going right. And I think I had a lot of guilt during my pregnancy because I was feeling so negative.


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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom-to-jj* 
I dreamed that my baby was born early. She was so small that I put her in a coffee mug and carried her around. I was so excited to have her, and somehow I knew she was a girl, but at the same time I was scared because I knew it wasn't good that she was born so early.

That was probably at about 6 weeks. I started spotting at 7 weeks and a week later was diagnosed with a blighted ovum m/c. I have always felt that my body knew something was wrong.

I named her Ashlin, because it means "dream."

Ya know - I had that type of dream many a time. That I would have a tiny little baby that fit in the palm of my hand - and I kept setting him down and losing him. I would be checking the couch cusions and everything for him. Weird huh?


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## amrijane128 (Jan 6, 2007)

No dreams, but bad feelings. I just had this ongoing feeling that something was wrong with the baby, I prayed and prayed that the baby was going to be okay and "normal" and not disabled in anyway, but I just had bad vibes constantly. The simplest things would make me think something was wrong and I would get that sinking feeling in my stomach. I still sometimes feel like my bad thoughts towards the baby are what caused my m/c. (11 weeks is when we found out, but according to an u/s... nothing ever really developed.) but I just don't know.


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