# Throwing a half birthday party



## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

I did a search and couldn't find anything, but if there is a half birthday thread please point me in its direction!

We're celebrating our sons half birthday this June (and plan on doing it every year like this) and I would love any suggestions! He will be 18 months old, I think he may be to young for a theme so im thinking just some food and cake? id like to make it a come and go party, very laid back.

On another note, any suggestion on how to ask for gifts that support our values? (handmade, natural materials and so on?). I hope that our friends and family know us well enough to know how we're raising our son, but I thought I should include a little note with the invite?

ETA: to clarification, we will not be celebrating the December birthday.


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## jtbuko (Sep 28, 2006)

For gifts... I'd just ask folks not to bring any if you are picky about what you want your child to have. Or you could have a wish list ready in case anyone asks you, but I would not specify what to get your child on the invite.

We just did a 6.5 party (HALF WAY TO A TEENAGER!!!) and made clear on the Evite that it was just about celebrating together and that there would be no gifts and favors.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

so, are you not doing regular birthday parties? Is it customary to do half birthdays in your family/community?
I get the delimma of how to celebrate a winter birthday... but I think I would just focus on celebrating together and not requesting gifts of any sort (unless that is something commonly done in your family).


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

We do a half birthday every year for my 6 year old, but as we also do a birthday party (I do the birthday, her dad does the hirfday) we expressly say no gifts. I would only accept gifts if you don't do them for the actual birthday.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

do you celebrate both year and half year? If so then definitely specify 'no gifts' on your invitation. I can't even imagine being invited to 2 parties a year for someone and get a gift spec for each one!

If you only celebrate at the half year mark (?? I think maybe I am missing some background) then no mention of gifts, please. People include gift receipts. If they don't then freecycle. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your gift.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

Not sure that it's really any different than a regular birthday party, except for being 6 mos after. My son's a December kid, and we just had his friend party in late January/early February - just when everyone has that holiday let-down.

And I agree with the gift thing. If you're also doing a regular birthday celebration (with gifts), no gifts should be expected for the half bday. Otherwise, it's never really polite to specify what sort of gift to bring. The only time it doesn't annoy me is when it's an "in lieu of gifts... we are request a donation appropriate for..." Of course, then you have to hope people know what "in lieu of" means. My daughter requested donations for the animal shelter for her Sweet 16, and a bunch of her friends thought "in lieu of" meant "in addition to"...


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I agree that I would not expect (or request anything specific) for a half-birthday celebration. We celebrated them growing up (I don't with my own kids), but it meant choosing what we wanted to have for dinner, getting to use a special plate, and my mom making a chocolate cake. I'm kinda surprised anyone invites others for a half-birthday, TBH - but to each their own.

Specifying about gifts without being asked is tacky (even for a yearly birthday). I can see finding a clever way to say you'd prefer not to have any gifts, since that seems to be acceptable for many, but you really should not say "we only want special-wooden-non-battery-plastic-free gifts" even if that's your preference.


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## wondertwins (Oct 12, 2007)

I don't know much about 1/2 birthday parties, except that the parents usually only have the one party like pp mentioned, and their children have bdays in Dec or early Jan, like your DS.

We've been invited to a few parties where the children have registered at the local toy store. The info is included on the invitation. As a guest, I've both picked things off the list and chose something I thought was appropriate. I'm not put off by the idea of a toy registry, but don't think I'll do it for my kids. My sister threw a "book party" for my two nephews and specified on the invitations that guests should bring ONE favorite book (used or new) or no gift. That idea went over pretty well with the guests.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

Thanks for everyone's input and suggestions, I do appreciate it!

jtbuko, I like the idea of a gift wish list, that way if anyone wants it ill have it on hand, but I wont have to include it with the invites.

shanniesue2 (and many others, sorry for not quoting all of you), no, we will not be celebrating his birthday on December 22nd. My hubby and I will have a special meal with him but that will be the extent of it. My son's grandparents are all divorced (some of them twice) and many are remarried with new families who have have Christmas traditions (certain days that they get together) during the week before Christmas. We know that they would love to celebrate Sebastian's birthday, but we want it to be all about him so as a family we decided to celebrate his half birthday's instead. Not to mention, here in Winnipeg we're looking at -30 or colder in December.. sometimes -45 with the wind!

wondertwins, the book party sounds wonderful! What a creative idea!

... I think ill update my original post to clarify that we will not be celebrating his December birthday, I think it may have came across like we are looking to milk our friends and family for gifts, which is totally not the case!


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

thanks for the clarification!

How about a painting party... just get a bunch of washable finger paint and a variety of brushes/paint utencils. Spread out some large sheets of paper and call it a party... this is what I thought about for DS's 2 year old party... but because his birthday is at the end of february, we can't count on not having cold weather. But in June, you could do the paint stuff outside then provide a sprinkler for the kids to play in and not have to worry about getting paint all over the house.

As to the gifts, with grandparents I have offered suggestions like "I think DS would really enjoy x, y, or z... but if you find something you think is really cool, I bet he would enjoy that, too." Or for Christmas, I told them that DS was really into trains... just gave them a broad category to work with. But I wouldn't put a note in the invite or anything (especially if you're going to invite non family members)... these comments were just part of conversations when the grandparents were asking for ideas.


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## nashvillemidwife (Dec 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heavensearth* 
ETA: to clarification, we will not be celebrating the December birthday.

You're not going to celebrate it at all, or do you mean you're not having a big party and inviting people over? Not even a special dinner?

I understand the appeal of a half-birthday party in the summer, as my entire family's birthdays are in November and December. But I personally am horrified at the idea of expecting anyone to bring my child a gift when it's not actually her birthday. A party with cake and games and all the stuff that goes with, sure. Gifts, no. Gifts would be for family to give at the small family celebration on her birthday.


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Don't people always bring presents to a kids birthday party? I can't imagine not bringing a gift just because it was a few months later. My son's birthday is in April and there was one year that we didn't do the kid party until mid June. Everyone still brought presents









OP I think you are wise to consider the fact that people will most likely bring gifts unless you specify not too. IME interwebz rules tend not to apply so much in the real world. It is tacky to specify gifts, unless you do something like the book party, which would allow for someone short on time or money to participate.

What is the difference between buying a kid on their actual birthday and buying a gift for their half birthday? This has always stumped me.


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## Keria (Sep 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
*Don't people always bring presents to a kids birthday party?* I can't imagine not bringing a gift just because it was a few months later. My son's birthday is in April and there was one year that we didn't do the kid party until mid June. Everyone still brought presents









OP I think you are wise to consider the fact that people will most likely bring gifts unless you specify not too. IME interwebz rules tend not to apply so much in the real world. It is tacky to specify gifts, unless you do something like the book party, which would allow for someone short on time or money to participate.

What is the difference between buying a kid on their actual birthday and buying a gift for their half birthday? This has always stumped me.

it's not the kid's birthday.

Personally I would do a no presents party.


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## wondertwins (Oct 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keria* 
it's not the kid's birthday.

Personally I would do a no presents party.

But it is the day his parents are choosing to celebrate his birth, so I do think gifts are appropriate.

As for party activities, my twins have a June bday, and we have lucked into nice weather both years (fingers crossed that will continue!). Last year, for their 2nd birthday, we had a backyard party. We asked guests to bring their swimsuits, turned on the sprinkler, filled up the swimming pool and opened up the sandbox. This would work great if people were coming and going, too. The party started at 2:00, so there were no meal expectations, but we had a lot of yummy snacks and cold drinks, for both adults and kids. Everyone had a good time, and we even avoided opening gifts until after the party, as everyone was enjoying themselves outside.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Okay, now that you clarified - I do think it's okay to accept gifts for a half-birthday celebration that will take the place of a regular birthday (though, I would personally prefer to have the part closer to my kids' b-day, so I would have a party in Nov., or early Jan - but that's doesn't matter b/c it's not my kid







)

I am glad you decided not to include a wish list with invites - I think if grandparents ask it's okay to say "hey, now that you said that, he really does love cars and balls right now" -- but anything else isn't polite, IMO.

I have never been to a birthday party 6 mos before the actual birthday - so that is why it's hard to imagine saying happy 2nd birthday, for a kid who just turned one not that long ago, yk? But I suppose people just celebrate his birth the same as they would if it was closer to his real birthday - which likely includes bringing cards and gifts.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

nashvillemidwife, no, we will not be inviting people or family over to celebrate his 22nd birthday.. it will just be the three of us. Of course, when he is older, if he wants to have his bday party in December we will do that.

dubfam, I always bring gifts, but maybe im in the minority? heehee I wasn't actually going to specify to bring gifts, I was going to say that if they wish to bring a gift something handmade or preloved is fine with us.

We were recently invited to a party that included a long list of gifts, as well as websites where we could by local used gifts like kijiji and a place that we could make donations. There was also a price limit on the gift. I think receiving that invite is what made me question if I should include anything a gift.. after all, this is my first time around at this!









wondertwins, sounds like a great party!

Drummer's Wife, ive never been to a half birthday either :| I hope it goes well! Ill be sure to include something about it being a half bday and that he will be 18 months on the invite









Thanks again mama's for all your insight and suggestions!


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## Keria (Sep 27, 2008)

Are you celebrating his first birthday or his second birthday?


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keria* 
Are you celebrating his first birthday or his second birthday?

We're celebrating his year and a half birthday...


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i would celebrate it exactly like a regular bday following whatever philosophy you follow. i would even have a bday cake and everything. i would do the whole 2 thing - coz it would make party stuff so much easier. in time your son will understand. he wont be confused. i did dd's half bdays till she was about 4. her half bdays were personal celebrations. it did not confuse her. she knew the difference between half and regular bdays.

i would be doing the exact thing you are doing if my dd's bday was so close to xmas.


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## Keria (Sep 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heavensearth* 
We're celebrating his year and a half birthday...

Ok then then I would do a no presents party, presents are for Birthdays not half birthdays.

And your son is one he wont care about presents, and as an added benefit you won't have to deal with plastic toys.


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keria* 
Ok then then I would do a no presents party, *presents are for Birthdays not half birthdays.*

<respectfully snipped







>

What is the difference?? I just don't understand why it matters what date the birthday is celebrated on. Please, someone enlighten me...what is so offensive about half b-days?? This is assuming that you don't have a party for the regular b-day of course.


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## Keria (Sep 27, 2008)

Well not ofensive, but it seems a little silly, dont like your birthday pick another one, Birhtdays are a celebration of when your child entered the world what exactly are you celebrating in a half birthday, it just seems like an excuse to have a party on a sunny day, which is fine have the party, you can even do 1/4 birhtday, 3/4 birhtday, just don't expect people to bring presents. And please do celebrate around the kids actual birthday, even if it's just a imidiate family thing, I can't imaigne not having any celebrations on my birhtday and being told I have to wait 6 months when it is more convinient to have a party.


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## wondertwins (Oct 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keria* 
Well not ofensive, but it seems a little silly, dont like your birthday pick another one, Birhtdays are a celebration of when your child entered the world what exactly are you celebrating in a half birthday, it just seems like an excuse to have a party on a sunny day, which is fine have the party, you can even do 1/4 birhtday, 3/4 birhtday, just don't expect people to bring presents. And please do celebrate around the kids actual birthday, even if it's just a imidiate family thing, I can't imaigne not having any celebrations on my birhtday and being told I have to wait 6 months when it is more convinient to have a party.

Well, according to the OP's earlier posts, her DS's birthday is just a few days before Christmas and her family has been extended by remarriage, so everyone is going in different directions during the holidays. When my twins turned 1 the party was more about adults and older nieces and nephews anyway, as my LO's didn't have any actual friends. I believe she also said that the weather is pretty brutal in December where she is, so a summer party would be more comfortable for everyone.

I think of parties, especially birthday parties as a time to celebrate a special person. And when I am a guest at a party I appreciate that the person throwing the shindig took the time to prepare food and drinks and so my gift is both a thank you for the effort and for the honoree a way of saying "I'm glad you're you!".

What do you think of people who get married without guests and then have a reception at a later time?


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

I'm not comfortable with birthdays being celebrated on days other than the date on each a person was actually born. DD1's birthday is Dec 21 and that's when we celebrate it. We do private birthdays (me, dh, the kids) so Christmas isn't a problem and I don't care about the -40 weather here.

If I want to have a big summer party with friends/family then I would do so as it's own party not as a birthday.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
What is the difference?? I just don't understand why it matters what date the birthday is celebrated on. Please, someone enlighten me...what is so offensive about half b-days?? This is assuming that you don't have a party for the regular b-day of course.

I've been thinking about this since the thread started. I don't find them offensive and I'd show up gift in hand.

But - as a January baby who has always gotten 75% off calendars in droves and no gifts the rest of the year so I do have some idea - I guess for me I do think they kind of convey the wrong message. Your birthday is to celebrate your birth. I can totally see moving the celebration a few weeks in either direction, especially around major holidays.

But if you move it to a season when it's most convenient to entertain, then I think you really really are making the convenience and entertainment the focus and not the birthday. In some ways I think this is unfair to the child -- we'll give you a party when we're good and ready to. And in other ways I think it doesn't allow for the fact that every party will have its challenges and ups and downs and that this too is life. It's this concept of perfection that seems to me to be totally making parents and kids crazy. And it does kind of confuse the guests - are we celebrating 1? 2? 1.5? Summer?

So for me anyway, I wouldn't be comfortable with it. At 18 months I don't think it will make a whit of difference in any case though and as I said, ehn, I'd come. I love parties.









FWIW my son's birthday is towards the end of August and it's impossible to get people to come because of cottage and holiday trips and stuff. Last year I limited the guest list without accounting for that and ended up having a really, really small party and - it was totally fine. The year before that we were having 4 kids and my son got stomach flu for his birthday. Life happens.


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wondertwins* 
Well, according to the OP's earlier posts, her DS's birthday is just a few days before Christmas and her family has been extended by remarriage, so everyone is going in different directions during the holidays.

I don't understand this argument. We all get a different lot in life. Some people have birthdays that happen at "easier" times of the year, and other people don't. I had a birthday in the middle of the summer. So, I didn't get a party with lots of kids because they were all on vacation. So we did something else. I'd have a couple close friends over and we'd go to a movie or do some really cool thing.

Birthdays are to celebrate the day you were born on. They aren't about presents or anything else.

I can see shifting the celebration by a week or two. That's what we generally do in order to find a weekend when the people who are important to us can come. But, by 6 months? That just seems ridiculous.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
What is the difference?? I just don't understand why it matters what date the birthday is celebrated on. Please, someone enlighten me...what is so offensive about half b-days?? This is assuming that you don't have a party for the regular b-day of course.

Id like to know too..


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## JL83 (Aug 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heavensearth* 
Id like to know too..

Because it's not the kid's birthday. If you want to have a party in the summer, have a party. But calling it a "half birthday" doesn't really work.

I have kids with birthdays around Christmas too. We move them by a week (in either direction) and people who can come do, and those who can't don't. It's really not a big deal.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I was thinking about starting to do half-birthday parties for DS too. His birthday is January 6th. This year, 2/3 of the people who were going to come to his party couldn't make it because of a snowstorm two days before. If we do half-birthdays, we can do a cookout or something, plus people aren't all partied out from the holidays. I don't see the problem with doing half-birthdays. Either way it's a big celebration for the kid once a year. I'd be irked if somebody were doing birthday AND half-birthday parties so that the kid could get double presents, but when it's just once a year, I'm cool with it.


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## AirMiami (Feb 3, 2009)

What do you guys think about small, family celebration on the child's actual birthday, then big party with friends on their half birthday? My daughter's birthday is in January, just like her father, and he said he hated not being able to do anything fun on his birthday because of the weather. My birthday is in September, but I always hated not being able to have a beach party or outdoor water party of some sort. We were considering doing this for our daughter as she got older.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

Who would have thought that a half birthday discussion could get so interesting?!

Making the day special for DS is why we are doing a half birthday - it will be his day without "Christmas" involved. He will be able to have everyone who cares about him be there, enjoy themselves and not be at all partied out. He wont be restricted by the weather either.

As for celebrating a birthday on the actual day.. im born on July 1st (Canada Day) and it does suck. As much as my parents would try, I could never have a party on the actual day with friends and extended family, I always wanted to have a bday on a day that could be for me. My hubby is almost a New Year baby, so he's in the same boat, he said that he's never been able to differentiate between Christmas and his birthday because most family would wish him a happy bday at the Christmas get together. Im not surprised that we almost had a Christmas baby









Thanks again for your suggestions mama's, I do appreciate it!


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

I think there's a difference (in people's minds) when you say "we're celebrating his Xth birthday in June, since December is so busy for everyone" and "we're celebrating his 18mo (or 2.5, 5.5, 16.5yr) bday!" The latter just *sounds* like a gift grab.

Like I said, we always did #1's friend party a couple of months later, when everyone had that holiday letdown. I've also left it 'til spring and taken just one or two friends to a MLB ballgame. I'm having #2's Sweet 16 this w/e, though her bday is in March - it just worked better for us/me. But we're celebrating the birthday - not a half anything.

It's all a matter of presentation.


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limette* 
*I'm not comfortable with birthdays being celebrated on days other than the date on each a person was actually born.* DD1's birthday is Dec 21 and that's when we celebrate it. We do private birthdays (me, dh, the kids) so Christmas isn't a problem and I don't care about the -40 weather here.

If I want to have a big summer party with friends/family then I would do so as it's own party not as a birthday.

THis seems a little stringent to me. Don't you or your husband work? My borther in law is a fireman - sometimes they have to work around his schedule.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My birthday is within a week of Christmas, and both my kids have bad-weather birthdays, and I'm just not a fan of celebrating at other times. It just isn't the birthday, and the purpose of a birthday party is to celebrate the birthday, not to have a party and get presents when convenient.

But, having said that, if you're going to do it, I'd present it like an OP said, and call it the birthday party instead of the half birthday party, and say you're celebrating it 6 months early to avoid Christmas.


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## Tigeresse (Nov 19, 2001)

I think there is something beautiful and reverent about honoring the seasonality of birthdays, and the specialness of that particular day when that person entered the world. I have always been conscious of that and try to incorporate it in dc's b-days. For our December baby we started a tradition of making gingerbread houses during his party. We have kids that have been attending his parties for 10 years that look forward to this....even though they're teens now. We have all our lights and stuff up and talk about what a beautiful season it is to have a b-day (dh and I are also born in Dec.). One year we gave ornaments as part of the goody-bag. We also usually go tree-hunting right the day or so after his party. It's all become a lovely, reverent tradition and ds loves his Dec. b-day. We also love to remember fondly the day he was born in '95...the huge blizzard and -20 windchills and how everyone had to come to us because he was born at home with a fire roaring in the fireplace and holiday lights twinkling all around...

I can't imagine having a celebration for him at the opposite time of year. That said, we also have 2 June babies...their b-days involve grilling out, water guns, bug hunting, painting flower pots, sometimes a bonfire (guess we could do that in Dec. too). It's just different. Different season, different type of reverence. It is when they were born and it is special and part of who they are. I also have a ds born in April. Sometimes it rains or is cold. Sometimes it's beautiful. It's always wonderful because it is his birthday.

So, those are some of my reasons why I think it is important to celebrate at least somewhere near the actual b-day. If you do a half-party, I would still do something very special for the actual day, even if it is just immediate family. I would not want to send the message the day my dc is born sucks because it is near a major holiday or has bad weather. This coming from someone born Dec. 15.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limette* 
I'm not comfortable with birthdays being celebrated on days other than the date on each a person was actually born. DD1's birthday is Dec 21 and that's when we celebrate it. We do private birthdays (me, dh, the kids) so Christmas isn't a problem and I don't care about the -40 weather here.

If I want to have a big summer party with friends/family then I would do so as it's own party not as a birthday.

Ah, but then nobody would bring presents


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limette* 
I'm not comfortable with birthdays being celebrated on days other than the date on each a person was actually born. DD1's birthday is Dec 21 and that's when we celebrate it. We do private birthdays (me, dh, the kids) so Christmas isn't a problem and I don't care about the -40 weather here.

If I want to have a big summer party with friends/family then I would do so as it's own party not as a birthday.

My youngest was born on the 17th and I'm the 24th. (Oldest and DH is October 29th and baby to be will be end of August, so all our birthdays are pretty poor times to throw parties) I often have his a week before because folks are busy and the Saturday/Sunday before usually is the optimal time anyhow. Even though we're December babies, I'm still stubborn enough to do the whole birthday in or around the actual date. That said, once you hit the 20th on, it gets really hard. However I'm lucky in that my friends and family realize how much that can stink. They all got together on my 30th on my actual birth date to celebrate, which made it all the more special.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

We celebrate each of our (mine and each of the kids) bdays on the actual day, but just the three of us. Dinner is the bday kid's choice - out or in - and the other two take care of it (yes, they cook or pay on my bday - I usually choose something they cook really well, at home). We do something with my parents and bro/sil + her sister and mother on the closest weekend to it. Friend party when we can.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

choli, Im not sure what I posted that implied that we are celebrating DS half birthday in order to get presents?









limette, does your son not ever want a party with his friends? it never occurred to me to just not throw a party (with friends and extended family) period.

Tigeresse, sounds like you have a very lovely tradition (and had a wonderful homebirth!). We will be celebrating our son's birthday as a family, just the three of us, on the actual day. I honestly don't think anyone in our family or circle of friends would ever think that because we are having the party on a different day, that we view the day our son was born as a bad day or inconvenient day, or anything like that, and if they do, they obviously don't know us very well.

****

So, I think ive decided not to even include the word "birthday" on the invites


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## aelf (Jun 9, 2009)

What an interesting discussion! My daughter's birthday is June 25th. Because her classmates have parties wherein they invite classmates, she wants to do the same thing. Once school gets out (the beginning of June), she'd be able to have a few classmates, but she wants her class, just like the kids who have parties during the school year.

Her half birthday is December 25th, so we can't use that as the alternative. (And that's not unheard of, in my life. I remember one year my February-born brother wanted a pool party for his birthday. So he had it on his half birthday.)

My daughter's birthday party this year is a month before her actual birthdate. It falls within the school year, so she gets to have her "big class party" just like her classmates. I see no reason to tell my 6 year old "sorry kid, you were born in late June, you have to pick a few friends and see a movie/go to an amusement park/whatever" rather than simply shifting things. I suspect as she gets older she'll want to do things like taking a friend to go see a local theater production or something. But now? She wants to do what her friends are doing & that's perfectly reasonable when it comes to almost-7 year olds and birthday parties. She wants her friends to sing happy birthday to her. She wants a birthday cake. She wants to give out goody bags. And yes, she's excited about the presents.

Heck, my daughter's actually going to be staying with her grandma on her actual birthday this year. We let her know the options (including her coming home early, us going there early, time shifting her family birthday celebration) and she picked time shifting her birthday.

But then, I come from a family where my dad traveled. I don't think there's a single holiday or celebration that wasn't time shifted at one time or another.


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

This IS an interesting discussion. I have two kids with Dec. b-days, one is on the 2nd and one is on the 23rd. Then I have a ds with an April 16 b-day,, which is when spring break happens here and EVERYONE is gone.

This is an interesting study in how different people adapt to a less than ideal situation.

personally, I'm a stick-with-your-birthday and make the very best of it person. But I can appreciate the Don't-like-it-change-it attitude,too.

Different strokes for different folks... and thats what makes the world go round


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

I guess I don't understand why the whole class can't be invited, even if her birthday is a bit after school lets out. Sure, some may be away, but even when the party is in the middle of the school year, there are kids who can't make it.


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## quantumleap (Apr 13, 2006)

I never realized that half-birthday celebrations were so controversial!
Our dd was born on December 22nd, and this year (18 months) we plan to start celebrating half birthdays. We're going to have half of a cake, and half cards, and I'm making her a tutu. I think we'll just have a few little people (we are sort of new to the area and wouldn't be able to invite a lot of people even if we wanted to!) over to play in the backyard. I don't expect people to bring presents. When she's a bit older, I think it might be neat to ask people to bring half of something. I'm sure people could come up with some really cool ideas (a couple of half-filled water balloons, half a chocolate bar...). The rule we have imposed for the half-birthday present from us is that it has to be homemade and not huge. I think it's a fun thing to do, and can't really see the harm in it.
The reality is that close to Christmas babies are never going to have big parties with all their friends, so why not celebrate the half and get together with some lovely people?
For the record, dd had a perfectly lovely birthday celebration on the actual day last year. It was small - only family, and I thought it was special. I'm sure the actual date will continue to be celebrated, because it is a special day! But, I think it can be fun to celebrate half-birthdays too, and we'll do it with all of our kids in a low-key way. (dc#2 is due on Dec 24 this year!)


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *selkat* 
I never realized that half-birthday celebrations were so controversial!

I have only heard of it being a problem online. Bet I could call everyone I know and they wouldn't have an opinion either way







Maybe it's a regional thing?

Also, am I the only parent who DREADS the gifts that people will bring for my kids? I would rather no gifts but apparently it is rude to specify that none be brought, so I grit my teeth and deal. I highly doubt that the OP is throwing this party just to get gifts. Do people really do that? If so then that's WHACK!


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## aelf (Jun 9, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mtiger* 
I guess I don't understand why the whole class can't be invited, even if her birthday is a bit after school lets out. Sure, some may be away, but even when the party is in the middle of the school year, there are kids who can't make it.

Because in our case, it's not a matter of a few children being unavailable. It's a matter of most of them being unavailable. During the school year, kids get about 2/3rds of the invitees attending (based on observation & conversations with other parents). Summer things? We would have gotten 1/4. Maybe (based on conversations with other parents). My daughter will be fine with that when she just wants a few kids, but when she's looking for the "invite the whole class" party, 4 kids being available doesn't do it.


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## seagull (Jun 29, 2005)

Finally someone who understands the half birthday parties.







:

For any of my cousins that had Dec bdays, the larger family celebrated the 1/2 bday with cake and presents. When it was actually their bday, they had a special dinner with just their parents.

We celebrate my children's half bdays by giving them a couple of gifts that are for summer time. Then when we have their larger party near their actual fall bdays, we don't buy them a gift because they will get a few from family and friends.

I don't know what to suggest about the gift ideas. What I think is proper differs from what society thinks is proper. I mean who isn't going to bring a gift to a children's party? So why can't we talk about it and suggest some item that is going to be useful or wanted.


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## seagull (Jun 29, 2005)

I read some of the replies and am surprised by some. I wouldn't let anyone here change your plans. Different people create different family traditions that work for them. Why don't you ask the people that you would be inviting how they feel, but remember the final decision is for you and your spouse. I know my mom, who hated her Dec bday, would have done anything to support celebrating the life of her grandchildren no matter the time of year.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seagull* 
I don't know what to suggest about the gift ideas. What I think is proper differs from what society thinks is proper. I mean who isn't going to bring a gift to a children's party? So why can't we talk about it and suggest some item that is going to be useful or wanted.

You know, I think the problem with this is that many times people want to do what they want but get upset that there might be consequences. I think you do what you want, and woman up and accept the consequences (if any).

This year, for both the kids' birthday parties (singleton DD in the early part of the year, twin DSes coming up soon) we stipulated no gifts but that the kids were hoping to raise contributions for a specific charitable organization instead. I'm sure it rubbed people the wrong way, but honestly I only heard good feedback. I would have handled negative feedback just fine though, and had already prepared a nice, polite way to respond to anticipated problems. "zOMG I HATE THAT CHARITY RAWR!!" "Please don't feel like you need to donate at all, we'd be happy to have you come and just enjoy yourself." "YOU MEAN MOMMY HOW DARE YOU DENY YOUR CHILD GIFTS!" "We talked it over as a family, the kids had a choice whether or not to do this, it was their decision." "WTF YOU ARE RUDEST BDAY HOST EVAR! I'M NOT COMING NO WAY." "We'll miss you being there, but respect that you need to make decisions in line with your family's values too."

The problem I see is when people whine about wanting to do something different and then getting blowback. Look, no matter what you do, there is going to be someone sitting behind a keyboard who hates it and will be happy to get in your face about it. IRL you're not going to please everyone either. If you don't invite the whole class and your neighbor's dentist's third ex-wife's second cousin's neighbor too, you're mean and exclusive. If you do throw a big party at (G-D FORBID) some place like CEC or other franchise joint--well, you're a bit consumerist UA violation who loves to kick baby trees and make all our nation's children fat.

So, do whatever the heck you want. Most people really are not going to care. The ones that aggressively moan and complain probably would have found something offensive in order to satisfy their need for sensitivity excitement, some people may roll their eyes but probably not in front of you so who cares, you're going to be breaking SOME portion of the tome of etiquette rules anyway (zOMG you did NOT put the forks on the RIGHT side of the plate did you? Emily Post is spinning in her grave because of you!).

Decide what is least stress free for you and your family, don't get pouty if some people choose not to come or are a little uncomfortable, answer criticism (if it comes) with a polite smile and carry on, and don't listen to gossip.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

selkat, congratulations! two Christmas babies! our due date was December 25th









****
Ive loved reading everyones responses to my little thread.
Like I said before, I was never planning on not having a summer birthday party based on responses to this thread, I was just looking for ideas







We had decided to celebrate in the summer before DS was even born.

The invites are done and look wonderful! I hand painted one and then scanned it in and printed them off! I think they look very sweet and do say 'birthday' and 'summer party' on them. They also have a short little burb about why we are celebrating now.

Gifts... I didn't mention anything about gifts either way. We have had a couple people ask about what DS would like for his half-birthday (even though the invites aren't even out!) so im assuming that if someone wants to bring a gift and doesn't know what we like, that they will just ask.


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

My DD's bday is December 27th and we have every intention of offering her a summer half-bday party when she is older if she'd like. I think it is a great idea for kids whose actual birth date is eclipsed by a major holiday event. I guess I don't care what day we celebrate it, just as long as once a year we celebrate her presence in our life. It isn't as if she accomplished something major on 12/27/2007 - I did most of the work.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigeresse* 
I think there is something beautiful and reverent about honoring the seasonality of birthdays, and the specialness of that particular day when that person entered the world. I have always been conscious of that and try to incorporate it in dc's b-days. For our December baby we started a tradition of making gingerbread houses during his party. We have kids that have been attending his parties for 10 years that look forward to this....even though they're teens now. We have all our lights and stuff up and talk about what a beautiful season it is to have a b-day (dh and I are also born in Dec.). One year we gave ornaments as part of the goody-bag. We also usually go tree-hunting right the day or so after his party. It's all become a lovely, reverent tradition and ds loves his Dec. b-day. We also love to remember fondly the day he was born in '95...the huge blizzard and -20 windchills and how everyone had to come to us because he was born at home with a fire roaring in the fireplace and holiday lights twinkling all around...

I can't imagine having a celebration for him at the opposite time of year. That said, we also have 2 June babies...their b-days involve grilling out, water guns, bug hunting, painting flower pots, sometimes a bonfire (guess we could do that in Dec. too). It's just different. Different season, different type of reverence. It is when they were born and it is special and part of who they are. I also have a ds born in April. Sometimes it rains or is cold. Sometimes it's beautiful. It's always wonderful because it is his birthday.

So, those are some of my reasons why I think it is important to celebrate at least somewhere near the actual b-day. If you do a half-party, I would still do something very special for the actual day, even if it is just immediate family. I would not want to send the message the day my dc is born sucks because it is near a major holiday or has bad weather. This coming from someone born Dec. 15.

I'm with you.


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## quaz (May 24, 2005)

Wow.

I wouldn't have expected 1/2 bdays to be controversial either.

I have known plenty of people without 1/2 birthdays to delays parties. People with March bdays want pool parties, so they wait. People have relatives or friends that can't make it, so they wait a month or two.

For those that are so up in arms against 1/2 birthdays, do you HAVE a child with a birthday right next to Christmas??

While my mom remembers my girls birthdays, she has come close to forgetting on several occasions that my son has a birthday as well. She is so focused on Christmas, she doesn't remember the birthday. The only reason I've seen she has, is because in the course of talking with her, I've happened to mention things like, well we finally decided on a cake. This isn't intentional prodding on my part, but simply conversation. Twice now, after conversations like that, I've realized, she had completely forgotten about it!!

I will also come out and say it. It IS about the presents. (Obviously, there is far more to it, but this does have an impact as well.)

The difference between what my son receives for his birthday, and what my daughters receive for their non-holiday birthdays, is very noticeably
different. This isn't just a small difference, but a very large difference.

On his first birthday alone, my sister completely forgot about it. My mom did forget about it, until I happened to mention it. While she made a huge deal about my other kids first birthdays, she did next to nothing for him. How many people grandparents forget a child's first birthday? :-(

While my son is only 3, it isn't a big deal, but he is going to reach an age at some point, where he isn't going to understand why both his sister's got a ton of presents from their grandparents on their birthday, and he gets next to nothing, and why what he gets is generally an afterthought.









Sure, it will open up conversation, and I will have to have a good talk with him at that point, but it is fairly sad that he is utterly forgotten.

Now, this isn't about, oooh...let's get more presents. I would be just as happy that my girls got less, but that hasn't worked. It is about at some point needing to explain things to a 4-5 year old, when he notices and doesn't understand why things are so different.

The only reason I haven't done a 1/2 birthday, is because we do not have relatives here. I suspect if we changed when we celebrated it, they would forget even more. If I did have relatives nearby, and did have birthday parties with them, I would have changed the celebration to a 1/2 birthday a long while ago.

I feel all kids need to have that special birthday day, and with it around Christmas, while as a family we make it as special as possible, our relatives do not. Even then, though, this past year we celebrated his bday 2 weeks early. We felt that was the best way to insure he wasn't feeling like his birthday was just continued Christmas activity.

As for 1/2 birthdays, his 1/2 birthday coincides with my dh's. Because of that, we do give my ds 1-2 small 1/2 bday presents on his 1/2 birthday as well.

Tammy


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## caned & able (Dec 8, 2005)

A suggestion:

Play the song from Disney"s "Alice In Wonderland" - "Unbirthday", and then everyone can share in the celebration since it is probably everyone else's unbirthday also.

When I was in elementary school, a teacher would do this for the classmates who had summer birthdays and did not get to celebrate a birthday with the class during the school year.


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## lauralaneOn (Nov 19, 2015)

That's great if you are deciding to celebrate your half birthday. But their are few things that need to be considered before you start planning for your half birthday party. These are listed below-
1. Your child has a summer birthday
2. it’s too cold for an outdoor birthday party
3. You have a baby
4. Grandparents want their own day with your child
5. You want an excuse for a really cool party
:wink:0


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## sillysapling (Mar 24, 2013)

I know this is an old post, but the controversy is still mistifying. It's more UNCOMMON for kids to get a birthday party on theit actual birthday. Most parents don't want to do a birthday party on a week day, so it's off by several days and sometimes longer depending on various circumstances. Holiday birthdays often get pushed even further for the reasons listed.

My partner grew up never getting a real birthday due to a near-Christmas birthday (in contrast to April baby bil). It's still a huge sore spot. If this is the best way to ensure their kid gets properly celebrated, go for it.


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## heavensearth (Oct 10, 2009)

Wow! I cant believe my thread is still going! my son will be turning 7 this Christmas! 

The half birthday worked out pretty great until our daughter was born almost exactly on his half birthday! 

We have friends who's son is born a week after my son, and they still celebrate a summer birthday for him, but for us we have gone back to the winter and try to Celebrate with friends in the beginning of December when its a bit less busy and still have a family party on the actual birthday.


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## SecondtimeMama (Jun 15, 2015)

Since birthday parties are supposed to be about the child getting to practice hosting parties, that's why their names go on the invitation, and attending birthday parties with gifts are supposed to help the other children with practicing attending a party and giving a host/hostess present, have them whenever you want.


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## Snydley (Feb 22, 2012)

I gotta say, if someone invited me to a 1/2 bday party I would cringe. To me, it is just another example of parents/society bending over backwards to ensure that our kids have this unrealistic, smooth ride through childhood and then they enter adulthood without the proper emotional tools to deal with what life throws at them. You were born in December? You have your birthday eclipsed by Xmas? So what- deal with it. Be happy anyone throws you any kind of a party at all; lots of kids get nothing for their birthdays. If I had a December baby that would be a 'that's life' situation to deal with for sure. Would I have a party maybe 2 weeks in either direction of the birthday - sure. But not 6 months later.


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