# anyone out there had a true "missed" miscarriage??



## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

hi, i've got what it seems is an unusual problem. i never miscarried. i went to the doc's 6 weeks ago and was told it had likely been a couple of weeks that my baby was gone (would have been 11 weeks, but it measured small for dates). that makes it ~8 weeks past her death! here i am, still haven't had the flood and labor-like issues described by so many women. i have bled a little, but really not much, a pantyliner has been adequate at worst times. the cramping was really weeks ago and except for weird twinges and occasional back pain i'm feeling better than i did when i first found out! it's so weird.

can babies/placentas/lining just "go away"? i feel like i'm losing my mind, and although i really wanted to avoid getting a d&c i also want to be truly done with this. the emotional side of it is one thing, but i can't feel healthy and strong and able while life is on hold like this.

any thoughts that could help me? i need advice.

i do not have any symptoms of illness, infection, or the like. i am very physically active. i'm 39, and this would've been baby #1.

thanks, women.


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## Katica (Jan 13, 2008)

I`m so sorry for your loss







I remember when you posted a while back. It`s heartbreaking to know that your baby isn`t alive and it must be even harder to not be able to move on.

It all happened naturally for me the night before I was supposed to go to the hospital for the d&c. If the baby hadn`t passed on his own I would have gone to have the procedure. Not that I`m a big fan of surgeries but I really wanted the pain (emotional and physical) to be over soon.

Physically, I think there is no reason for the surgery unless you have signs of an infection. On the other hand, if the uncertainty and pain is too much for you to handle I`d say go ahead with the d&c. It would give you some closure and you can start healing.
I`m so sorry you are going though this..


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## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

thanks katica.

the support helps a lot.

every day is different. some days i go to work with my OBs business card in my pocket, ready to call and go have the surgery, and some mornings i get up and feel good, strong, and like "this is the day it'll come". not sure what will break first, my will to do this naturally or my confidence in my body...

thank you for your thoughtful reply.

i'm very sorry for your loss.


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## Katica (Jan 13, 2008)

I`m wondering if there is a natural remedy to help speed things along. Maybe, some wise women on this board would know more about it.

I respect your strength and determination. You are a very strong woman. I hope and pray that things will get started soon.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

There are several herbs that can help the process along. I am thinking if you search here miscarriage herbs you might find something.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

When I miscarried at 13 weeks and 5 days, my baby measured 9-10 weeks gestation. I did miscarry naturally on my own without knowing my baby was gone, but if I had known ahead of time I probably would have opted for the d&c.








I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Shahbazin (Aug 3, 2006)

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss








I had a very similar experience with my 1st pregnancy, when I was 37; it was just before 12 weeks when I went ahead & had a D&C done. I'd only had a very little spotting at one point, yet my baby had passed away weeks earlier, & nothing was happening.


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## benandmarensmom (Mar 28, 2007)

Four years ago I had a missed misscarriage,I should have been going in for a 16 week ultrasound and they found that the baby had passed away at 7 weeks.I only ever spotted very lightly after finding out. 3 weeks later nothing had happened I was still very morning(all day) sick and couldnt bare it any longer, I went for the d &c not for the sickness but I could not live waiting for this horrible thing to happen .It was a terrible situation but my body was not going to pass anything.I am so sorry for you and wish you did not have to be going through this.


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## mammabunny (May 8, 2008)

My situation was similar. I found out at 12wks that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. The baby was measuring 8wks. I was only having spotting and no cramping. I waited 10 days and nothing happened. My OB felt D&C was necessary to avoid infection. I was in need of closure, so knowing it was finally over and I could move on was helpful. It doesn't exactly sound like you have fully miscarried. I read tons of stories from mom's who were measuring 8wks when they miscarried and their experiences were with a lot of blood, heavy cramping, passing of clots, tissue, the sac, etc. I never experienced any of this, so I knew I hadn't fully miscarried. I know everyone is different. But perhaps you might want to visit your OB to get an ultrasound and see if you have indeed passed everything. I'm sorry you are going through this.


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## MotherMama (Mar 31, 2008)

I am in the same boat with you. I am on week three of waiting it out. Knowing it will happen eventually, but it's so hard! I am wanting to avoid the D&C too, my OB is having me come in weekly for u/s and bloodwork.


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## SimplyRochelle (Feb 21, 2007)

: I am so sorry. I feel that this is what happened to me. Although I was 12 weeks along when my body started to miscarry I'll never really know how long that baby had been dead before that. By the time I went to the hospital (where they didn't offer me a d&c) the ultrasound didn't even show a sac. I was already passing lots of really large clots by that point but don't feel like I passed the sac until the next day. Here I am 11 days later and still bleeding and passing a few little clots here and there. I am so ready for it just be over.

I hope that either way the wait is over for you soon.


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## monkey-ma (Sep 26, 2008)

I am going through a miscarriage today at 6 weeks plus---I went to ER this morning then to my doctor after that...and both ultrasounds indicated miscarriage--i would like to suggest acupuncture to you...my acupuncturist gave me herbs/tea that will help the process along...seek an acupunturist who is a specialist in female reproduction/fertility

good luck


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## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.

Last night, on official day one of week 6 post-confirmed fetal demise, I had a good reminder that it's still very much going on. I was sitting with my husband and stepkids having dinner (no cramps or anything more than normal twinges in there), and all of a sudden GUSH. I was a little trapped - our stepkids don't know (given our circumstances it just wasn't the right thing to share the pregnancy quite yet), and I knew I was soaked. So I somehow got up without turning around, slunk sideways to the bathroom, and yes, I had drenched my shorts and bathrobe too, bright red blood, a lot of it. I sat on the toilet and passed tissue, not much, but enough to remind me that the rest will come...

I wanted to tell everyone (since I spent so long trying to find information on this weeks ago) that I did start a regimen of black and blue cohosh when I was two weeks post-appointment. 4 pills a day, together, daily. It has not seemed to have worked FOR ME, but maybe it has had a positive impact on my uterine tone, I don't know.

I'll post again when I'm done (or give up and go and have the surgery), just so it'll be clear on how long LONG can be, for those women trying to decide on which option to take.

Again, thank you so much for all the love and support.


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## michanders4 (Jul 24, 2008)

I had what I refer to as a "true" missed miscarriage. I was 8 weeks when I had my first prenatal appointment and I pushed for an ultrasound. I just had to know that my baby was OK. In the ultrasound that I had that day the tech could only see a yolk sac and nothing else and said the sac measured pretty accurately for my dates. I thought MAYBE I ovulated later and we went back on week later. That u/s showed a teeny tiny fetal pole and no heartbeat. Just in case things were just progressing really slowly we waited two more weeks and went in and saw the fetal pole was still about the same size with no heartbeat. At this point I had had no cramping/bleeding (I spotted brown after that u/s but it was an internal so who knows if that was the beginning or just from the internal). When I went in for my 8 week appt. my HCG levels were 108,000 I think (very "normal") for that time frame.

Anyway, I didn't see my body pushing the baby out on its own anytime soon and at this point I was 11 weeks and the baby probably stopped developing around 5 weeks or so (6 weeks prior maybe). I did not want a D&C so I opted for a "medical miscarriage". I inserted prescribed pills that helped my body along and then my body did the rest. It took a good 3 months to complete and for my hormone levels to drop down. I know there is someone else on this website who said she had an experience where her body wouldn't push things out and it turned into something around 23 weeks or so. If I can find her story I'll post the link to her post.

I also helped things along with some chamomile tea (I drank a ton for a couple days and feel it helped push things out) and I took red clover to help my hormones get back to normal. I also drank some raspberry leaf tea to help my uterus heal. Oh and whether or not it was related I did become pregnant again on my first cycle after my first AF after it all.

I hope my story helps some to anyone going through this.

Hugs,

Michelle


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## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

Thanks, Michelle, good to hear I'm not alone, although I hate that any one of has to be "here".

BTW, I've been steadily burning through pregnancy tests and after the 6 weeks I've finally gone from super bright blue positive to negative, meaning my HCG levels are bottoming out at last. Not a very scientific (or cheap) way of measuring, but my first negative on Sat. was comforting in a weird way.

I've got some raspberry leaf tea now, and will continue on with the cohosh regimen and life as usual. Of course, I've got an important business conference tomorrow, so I'm just sardonically "looking forward" to my second gush during a seminar...

Sorry for your loss, and congrats on your lucky babe!


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## Ms. Cellaneous (Aug 2, 2008)

So sorry for your loss, and for all of us who have been there.

Toughcookie, good luck with your conference tomorrow (sounds like you are living up to your name!). When I was having my miscarriage I remember it seemed so strange and bizarre sometimes that life was just going on like normal for everyone. It would make so much more sense if the world could just stop for a couple days.

I also wanted to chime in that I had a true "missed" miscarriage, almost a year ago now. And don't ya just love that terminology -- like, oopsie, missed my miscarriage! That uterus of mine is just so absent-minded...
I had a D&C at about 11 weeks, my fetus had stopped developing at about 6 weeks but showed no inclination to vacate the premises on his/her own. The hurt does get better, or less bad, eventually.

Love & support to everyone here.


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## toughcookie (Aug 25, 2008)

Ms. Cellaneous said:


> When I was having my miscarriage I remember it seemed so strange and bizarre sometimes that life was just going on like normal for everyone. It would make so much more sense if the world could just stop for a couple days.
> 
> yes! it is, amazingly, the same thing my mother told me about losing her old dad. that she just wished everyone would shut up and stop, so she could feel okay to do so too.
> 
> ...


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## michaelsmama (May 20, 2003)

Hi,
I lost my baby last week and though I had 5 days of light bleeding and spotting, I never had clots, or cramps, or anything else. We never even saw a sac so not sure what had developed. It felt like a period and I still wonder if there was ever anything there at all - though the two positive tests say there was. I checked every time i used the bathroom and there was never anything there, just blood. I had a u/s at the beginning and again this past monday, and they were different - and monday's confirmed that there was nothing left in the uterus so the m/c is complete, no d&c necessary.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope you're hanging in there okay. Let us know if you're not...


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## FuzzyOne (May 3, 2005)

i experienced a missed miscarriage too. i didn't even know i was pregnant until i was supposedly about 8 or 9 weeks along. i had an OB appointment at 11 weeks that only showed a fetal pole, no heartbeat, and measuring at 6 weeks. but my OB felt that my dates were probably off because i was breastfeeding. it was obvious, though, that the baby wasn't viable after i had the bloodwork done. the baby died before i even knew i was pregnant. i miscarried a week later.

it's weird, though. i instinctively knew something was wrong in between the time i found out i was pregnant and when i found out the pregnancy wasn't viable. i couldn't quit reading about missed miscarriages online. and when the doctor went to do the vaginal ultrasound he commented that my heart was racing - i just knew something wasn't right and i didn't want to see it.


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