# Newborn gets frantic at bedtime



## Squrrl

I'm sorry if this is a really obvious question or has been adressed before, but I'm too tired to even phrase a proper search, so here goes:

We cosleep with our one month old baby, and for the first few weeks bedtime was really just a matter of, well, going to bed. But for the last several days, she's been fairly cranky throughout the evening, and then when we get ready to go to bed--_whenever that is, even if we vary it_--she gets progressively more and more frantic--kicking her legs, waving her arms, rooting for the breast constantly and then pawing it and popping off a lot when it's given, breathing in quick, short pants, and of course just flatout crying. A couple of times she's nursed so much she made herself throw up a ton of milk--and she's not a major spitter-upper really. We dim the lights, we speak quietly and as soothingly as we can manage under the circumstances, we walk and walk and walk and walk and nurse and nurse and nurse...every night this week it's taken an hour and a half to two hours for her to finally settle. And when she does settle, I couldn't tell you that we did anything special...heck, by then we can barely remember our names. And to add insult to injury, she still wakes up an hour and a half later for feeding and changing (and hopefully no more than that).

Since we cosleep, it's hard to imagine what she would be afraid of regarding bedtime...she's never left alone. I'm considering the possibility that she's overtired, but I don't understand what to do about that, either. I giver her plenty of opportunity to sleep, and since she's home alone with a blown-out mama all day, it's hard to imagine that she's overstimulated. On the other hand (since she demands it in no uncertain terms) she gets plenty of walking and carrying and dancing during the day, so I shouldn't think it's some sort of motion-deficit or something. It doesn't seem like colic...crying is sort of a last resort for her, it's more this fussy frantic-ness. That is, she cries plenty, but it certainly isn't multiple hours of howling, just periodic crying.

Anyway, any suggestions anyone might have as to what's causign this and _anything_ we might try to help it would be very very welcome. Sorry this was a little long but I wanted to describe in some detail in hopes that people could give more constructive advice. Thanks in advance.


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## Fuamami

Ah, the witching hour.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. All three of my babes had this same issue, to differing degrees. I've read lots of suggestions to put them to sleep earlier, but mine would always just wake up after half an hour if I did that, and then have the same "freak-out" session an hour or two later.

I think they're just trying to get organized, neurologically, they get really tired, and you just have to get through it. For my dd, I finally figured out that a pacifier helped her. My ds1 wanted to lie still on the bed and have his tummy rubbed w/white noise, and ds2 liked to be bounced on an exercise ball. But there were lots of nights when none of the tricks worked, but it really doesn't last long! Just a couple of months.


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## Squrrl

Thanks for the encouragement, really. I know that she's perfectly normal, really, and the only problem is that I can't deal with it myself. I just keep wishing for some solution other than just accepting being miserable.







: I'm going to try putting her to sleep earlier, though I think that entails all of us going to sleep earlier, or else my husband will never get enough sleep--he can't sleep when she does during the day. I might try a pacifier, though she won't suck on a finger, so we'll see.


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## CindyCindy

I would definitely do the earlier bedtime. I know my five month old gets more and more worked up if she doesn't go to bed on time. And then shes up again an hour or two later after we put her down (even though she was exhausted). Try a routine. . . .and stick with it. Start 1/2 hour before her "bedtime" bath, massage, book, nurse, rock, then bed. It will take being consistent and patient, but soon it will start to click that these are her cues to calm down and go to bed. Hang in there! I dealt with this kind of stuff for my son for 6 months, finally made a strategy and it payed off (without any crying or freak-outs).


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## junipermuse

Do you swaddle her? We swaddled dd at that age and it really seemed to soothe her frantic-ness. We used the kiddopotamus swaddling blanket.


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## Yuba_River

Sounds like you are doing everything right... it physically hurts when they cry, doesn't it?

"The Happiest Baby on the Block" book or dvd has great suggestions. It's worth reading. A quick summary of his soothing suggestions--he has "the 5 S's"
Swaddling
Side or stomach position
Swinging (or bouncing/dancing, etc)
Shhhing, or whatever loud white noise you want to make
Sucking--breast, finger, paci, etc.

Again, though, it's worth reading for the detailed explanation.

Good luck!


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## annekevdbroek

I agree with PP that is sounds quite normal and very much like "witching hour.' IME newborns sort of "wake up" at about 3-4 weeks and become, often, harder to settle in the evening, and cranky cranky cranky in the late afternoon/evening. Fortunatly, the random wierdness of it passes within a couple of weeks (or months....) and babe will settle down. Happiest Baby On the Block has great suggestions. I don't think that the baby is afraid of anything at bedtime.

It is often hardest for parents to cope - I think. It is very hard to have a crying baby and try *everything* and still have a wailing miserable baby on your hands. The best advice I can give is to try to trade off and also to set up a bedtime routine to make thing predictable for you (and later baby). Also, I felt much relieved with DS1 when I read in Dr. Sears that crying peaks around 6 or 7 weeks. I felt as if there was a light at the end of the tunnel.


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## PatchChild

I'll second the swaddling idea. My DS would get himself so worked up if he could flail. Once he was swaddled, he'd start to calm down and relax. He just wasn't old enough to do it on his own.


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## DiMi mama

Sounds like she is starting to create her own bedtime! My dd started doing this so we would get her ready for bed and nurse her and she was so much happier. My ds was also fussy at that time, I think they all have an automatic timer that goes off at dinner time...its time to get fussy!

We now start our bedtime routine about a half an hour before the fussy time and have her in bed with less complaints!


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## Llyra

I know how you feel.







My babes have all been the same way at that age. I do think that swaddling can help, and an earlier bedtime, but mostly you just have to stick with them until they reach an age where they're nervous systems are more organized. If it's any consolation, which I know isn't much when you're so tired, I've read in many places that the crying peaks at around 6 weeks and declines steadily after that.


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## catchthewind

We just went through this with our daughter a few weeks ago. I want to second the swaddling idea, there were some nights that she would fuss and fuss and then we'd swaddle her and she'd crash. It didn't always help though, there were nights she would just fight the swaddle. Another thing that we found to help was to start walking her and bouncing right after I was done nursing and before her normal bed time.

She was really fussy in the evenings around 3 weeks and then around 5 weeks. A public health nurse told me those are both times when most babies are going through a growth spurt. She's almost 8 weeks now and there are only occasional nights of fussiness. If we start early and try to get her to sleep before she gets fussy normally she falls asleep easily and only wakes up to nurse or be changed the rest of the night.

ETA: Forgot to add, I found some of the suggestions here to be helpful too. She loves to listen to us sing and baths also would calm her down at times.

Good luck!


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## AugustLia23

My babe has the same birthdat as yours! We go through the same things as well. A few nights a week he just has a harder time settling. A pacifier tends to help him not spit-up fron the frantic nursing of a babe that's not really hungry.

Believe it or not, sometimes his fussiness is his way of asking to be put down. My other two never did that, their evening crying was much harder to read, but this one has clearer signals. Still he has a hard time settling, sometimes. 6 weeks is the peak of the "fussy" age. They are still figuring it all out, developmentally.

Peace, soon it all be a distant memory.


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## mommyrachael

Oh, hang in there!








My sister's babe was like that...One thing that she found helped was a sling...kind of the same idea as swaddling, I think, because just walking wasn't enough, she had to be all curled up in the sling nursing.

HTH!
rachael


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## Ashersmum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DiMi mama* 
Sounds like she is starting to create her own bedtime! My dd started doing this so we would get her ready for bed and nurse her and she was so much happier. My ds was also fussy at that time, I think they all have an automatic timer that goes off at dinner time...its time to get fussy!

We now start our bedtime routine about a half an hour before the fussy time and have her in bed with less complaints!









:

This is exactly what happened for us too. Ds2 would cry and cry until he vomited at the same time every night. I then figured out he was getting so tired that he worked himself up into a frenzy and didn't know quite what to do with himself. Now I look for his early sleepy signals (tired eyes, slight fussiness) and take him to my bed for a major lying down nursing session. He'll usually nurse for 30-45 minutes without a fuss and fall happily asleep by about 7:30pm. Sometimes I fall asleep too







.The way you describe your LO's behavior sounds very much like how Ds2 acted when tired. Pulling on and off the breast may be a sign that he just wants to comfort nurse to go to sleep but is still getting milk from you.


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## kdtmom2be

Swaddling and gripe water. The flailing arms and franticness make me wonder if she's gassy? Can you hear or feel rumblings in her tummy?? If you can, then something is upsetting her stomach and she is trying to nurse for comfort but it is just making it worse. Otherwise, yes, swaddle her up tight and that will stop the flailing. The more she flails the more upset she is going to get.


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## yarngoddess

Sounds like my house! Mine are 7mo and 19mo and they do this! LOL- no seriously I would find a routine that includes either a bath or atleast massage. I also agree with the Same time every night, when kids are up longer than they are supposed to they produce Cortisol which makes them almost hyper. You also can try Gripe Water or Colic Tablets for those really bad nights. Even though your babe doesn't spit up DC could be urpy up to the throat (that was my DS's issue, gripe water was what fixed him and now he is way better) and you know- if all else fails try music in another room. My kids love having a dark house with JackJohnson on the stereo with just mom. We walk and juggle and sing and two songs later they are done.

-Routine
_Massage with or with out a bath
-Gripe Water/Colic Tablets
-Soft music or white noise
-swaddle
-roll with the punches

Hang In There! This too shall pass... and then there is something new!

"If you fall...take a nap!" -Sark

*Blessings*


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