# Poems & Songs



## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I've just started another thread about memorials and montages. It occurred to me that another thing I have found very helpful in commemorating / grieving Emma has been poetry / song lyrics. In actual fact, one of the poems that we used at Emma's funeral was one I found on a baby loss site.

If people wanted to share anything that has touched them, it might be a good resource for anyone planning their baby's memorial.

This is the poem we used at Emma's funeral:

Invisible cord (author unknown)

We are connected, my child and I,
By an invisible cord, not seen by the eye.
It's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth -
This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.
This cord does its work right from the start.
It binds us together, attached to my heart.
I know that it's there, though no one can see,
The invisible cord from my child to me.
The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.
It's stronger than any cord man could create,
It withstands any test, can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you are not here with me,
The cord is still there, but no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline, as never before.
I am thankful that God connects us this way,
Parent and child, death can't take it away.


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## Milkymommi (Aug 29, 2003)

That's powerful. I've been listening to alot lately... I've found a few songs that speak right to me. Sometimes not every single part of the song applies but for the most part it works.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

Here are two. The first one made me feel that no matter how much I hurt, it was still okay to feel joy at times (that whole cycle of life thing). And the second summed up that weird 'out of body looking in' feeling I had for so long. Kind of like I saw how others were seeing me. I hope that all makes sense.

_Nothing ever stops
the loss, the constant
turnabout,
the green that always
comes again,
with hard cries of joy
fierce and pure as grief.
Each life, she knows,
immeasurably beautiful
and brief._
- Susan Griffin

"A Pair of Shoes"

Author unknown

_I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child._


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *apecaut* 
Here are two. The first one made me feel that no matter how much I hurt, it was still okay to feel joy at times (that whole cycle of life thing). And the second summed up that weird 'out of body looking in' feeling I had for so long. Kind of like I saw how others were seeing me. I hope that all makes sense.

_Nothing ever stops
the loss, the constant
turnabout,
the green that always
comes again,
with hard cries of joy
fierce and pure as grief.
Each life, she knows,
immeasurably beautiful
and brief._
- Susan Griffin

"A Pair of Shoes"

Author unknown

_I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child._

Oh wow, that second poem really hit home







I have printed it off and I will keep it for reading. Thank you so much for sharing it. I also wanted to mention I read your siggie and all your babies are so beautiful! I love their names mama!


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

Have Kleenex handy!


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mytwogirls* 
I also wanted to mention I read your siggie and all your babies are so beautiful! I love their names mama!

Thank you!


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Quote:

Have Kleenex handy!
You are not wrong ... that is so beautiful. I loved the artwork she'd included in the video.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

And if I go,
while you're still here&#8230;
Know that I live on,
Vibrating to a different measure
Behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
So you must have faith.
I wait for the time when
We can soar together again,
both aware of each other.
Until then,
live your life to its fullest
And when you need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart,
&#8230;I will be there.

~Emily Dickinson~

From a UK loss site. Not really a memorial but the last lines make me smile (tearily)

Ask my Mum how she is

My Mum, She tells a lot of lies
She never did before
But, from now - until she dies
She'll tell a whole lot more!
Ask my mum how she is,
And because she can't explain
She will tell a little lie
Cos she can't describe the pain

Ask my mum how she is
She'll say "I'm alright"
If that's the truth, then tell me,
Why does she cry each night?
Ask my mum how she is.
She seems to cope so well!
She didn't have a choice, you see
Nor the strength to yell

Ask my mum how she is,
"I'm fine! I'm well! I'm coping!!"
For goodness sake Mum!
Just tell the truth..
Just say your heart is broken!

She will love me all her life!
I loved her ALL of mine
But if you ask her how she is
She'll lie and say she's fine

I am here in heaven.
I cannot hug from here
If she lies to you - Don't Listen!
Hug her and hold her near!!
On the day we'll meet again
We'll smile and I'll be bold!
I'll say "You're lucky to get in here mum!
With all the lies you told!"


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## atpeace (Apr 17, 2006)

The songs I listened to often after my losses were:

My Name (by George Canyon) - lovely

Daniel, by Elton John (the first song I heard while driving home from the ultrasound that discovered my missed miscarriage)


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

there was this song that some sent to me after our son Noah died that touched me deeply specailly because the name Noah was used in the song...

the song was written by Michael W Smith for some friends of his who had lost their baby boy named , Noah..

I bawled like a baby when I first heard it... I actually still cry whenever I listen to it...

the song is called, *Hello Goodbye*...
_
Wheres the navigator of your destiny?
Where is the dealer of this hand?
Who can explain life and its brevity
cause there is nothing here that I can understand

You and I have barely met
And I just don't want to let go of you yet

Chorus:

Noah, hello, goodbye
I will see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I will see you on the other side

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine
For the hardest thing Ive ever had to face
Heaven calls for you before it calls for me
When you get there, save me a place

A place where I can share your smile
And I can hold you for more than just a while_


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MarilynP* 
there was this song that some sent to me after our son Noah died that touched me deeply specailly because the name Noah was used in the song...

the song was written by Michael W Smith for some friends of his who had lost their baby boy named , Noah..

I bawled like a baby when I first heard it... I actually still cry whenever I listen to it...

the song is called, *Hello Goodbye*...
_
Wheres the navigator of your destiny?
Where is the dealer of this hand?
Who can explain life and its brevity
cause there is nothing here that I can understand

You and I have barely met
And I just don't want to let go of you yet

Chorus:

Noah, hello, goodbye
I will see you on the other side
Noah, sweet child of mine
I will see you on the other side

And so I hold your tiny hand in mine
For the hardest thing Ive ever had to face
Heaven calls for you before it calls for me
When you get there, save me a place

A place where I can share your smile
And I can hold you for more than just a while_


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I have tried to find that song before with no luck. Where did you find it????


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

You're Beautiful (I can't think of his name off the top of my head, anyone?)

Let it Be by the Beatles. It just says it all and in so many ways. I just feel what I feel in my grief and I don't have to explain it. Besides, the song talks about Mother Mary and that speaks to me because she, too, lost her son. I know it may sound corny but after what we've been through (the collective us on this Board) there's not that sounds corny to me anymore - I guess because I've just learned to live with my feelings and not try and explain them away or ignore them or hide them or make jokes about them.

At our son's funeral the choir director sang It Is Well With My Soul. Beautiful!

Oh, and if I had remembered it before the funeral I would have played When I Get Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I found the Micheal W Smith song on Rhapsody - it is a lovely song.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

bumping for later reading...LOVING the cord one....don't bury this


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

The Prophet.
Joy and Sorrow

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cuddlebaby* 
bumping for later reading...LOVING the cord one....don't bury this









Maybe we should ask for a sticky. Can we do that?


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

My favorite, and for anyone who believes in some type of afterlife or continuation of the spirit it is appropriate. I love that it doesn't come from one specific religious/spiritual viewpoint.

It was originally written to explain death to young children and is the main reason I chose the dragonfly as my remembrance symbol for Sierra. And inspiration for my Memorial Tattoo
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo...XGntEF11FnS_CQ

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo...Tv5ndnuC9Cw8dA

Waterbugs and Dragonflies
http://www.amazon.com/Waterbugs-Drag.../dp/082981180X
By Doris Stickney
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

'Look!' said one of the water bugs to another, 'One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?' Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn't return. 'That's funny!' said one water bug to another. 'Wasn't she happy here?' asked a second water bug. 'Were do you suppose she went?' wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.

Finally one of the water bugs, the leader of the colony, gathered its friends together. 'I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where she went and why.' 'We promise', they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and had fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chancd to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs!. There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered his promise: 'The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why'.

Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly he could no longer go into the water. 'I can't return!' he said in dismay. 'At least I tried, but I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they'll understand what happened to me, and where I went'.

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

My lovely Dh wrote this for Emma and has given me permission to put it on here. I'm very proud of him







(even if it does make me cry because it's so beautiful)

Before

Before tears coloured my days
And stole my sight,
Before then,
I felt you move.

Before regret became my shadow
And stole my freedom,
Before then,
I felt you move.

Before questions and uneasy silence
Stole my sleep,
Before then,
I felt you move.

Before you were born into calm and quiet
And stole my heart,
Before then,
I felt you move.


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## maisiedotes (Jan 2, 2005)

I was listening to alot of Damien Rice during my pregnancy with our son (stillborn at 35w3d). I still to this day, over 3 years later, cannot listen to "The Blower's Daughter". It is that whole part about "did I say that I love you"- I don't know how I made it through that day- it was a cloud of sorrow and haze, I don't even remember some of it.

*sniff* I hate that this ever happens to anyone. It isn't fair.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

Wow Jill... That is an exceptional poem - and beautiful too. Your husband is wonderful at expressing emotion and boy - that poem is a great one. Maybe he could write more, as he finds himself going through this journey of grief.

You know, wouldn't it be great if we all got together and wrote some poetry for our little ones, then put them all in a book and published them as a means of comforting other who are going through the same thing?


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

Maisie, I also listened to Damien Rice. I also LOVE that song. I make myself listen to things like that though, even though they hurt, because in my experience, taking things that hurt like that and trying to make new memories using them has helped me incorporate Josie into my life as a continuing entity within me.

Sometimes I feel a lot like Josie is sitting on me - on m belly - and that my grief process is aiming at reabsorbing her into my soul, so gradually the baby on my belly sinks into my belly and becomes part of me again. For me, I have to do that by facing every painful thing with enthusiasm and tackling it like some kind of linebacker. Boy, I tell you, sometimes that approach gets me down for days at a time, but I always seem to re-emerge and feel alright again - a little bit stronger.

I figure by doing that, I can make Josie a constant part of my life without pushing her away and keeping secrets from her or my family about things that upset me. I want to make sure my closet stays clean of skeletons so that in future pregnancies, I don't have issues I could have dealt with before that come back to haunt me unexpectedly. You know what I mean?

*HUGS* to all XXX


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I know exactly what you mean Jay! I feel the same way..

Jill - you husband's words are beautiful!


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I just realized I never posted on here..

My favorite song for sobbing in the car is
Josh Groban - To where you are
Who can say for certain
Maybe you�re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You�re still an inspiration
Can it be (? )
That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you�re there
A breath away�s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn�t faith believing
All power can�t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
�cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you�re there
A breath away�s not far
To where you are

I know you�re there
A breath away�s not far
To where you are

Then there is
Dar William's - Family
Can you fix this? It's a broken heart.
It was fine, but it just fell apart.
It was mine, but now I give it to you,
Cause you can fix it, you knoow what to do.

Let your love cover me,
Like a pair of angel wings,
You are my family,
You are my family.

We stood outside in the summer rain,
Different people with a common pain.
A simple box in the hard red clay,
Where we left him to always remain.

Let your love cover me,
Like a pair of angel wings,
You are my family,
You are my family.

And the child who played with the moon and stars
Waves a snatch of hay in a common barn,
In the lonely house of Adam's fall
Lies a child, it's just a child that's all, cying

Let your love cover me,
Like a pair of angel wings,
You are my family,
You are my family.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Shannon, I don't know the Josh Groban song but I'm sitting here in tears at the words alone.

JayJay, the anthology idea is lovely.

This is my "need to cry" song:


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

http://www.myspace.com/VeggieMomma

Jill, if you go to my - myspace I have the josh groban song on there... like the 3rd one down.. I swear this guy's voice is so beautiful.. he sings a happy song and it brings tears to my eyes!


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SMR* 
http://www.myspace.com/VeggieMomma

Jill, if you go to my - myspace I have the josh groban song on there... like the 3rd one down.. I swear this guy's voice is so beautiful.. he sings a happy song and it brings tears to my eyes!

That is so amazing.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Starmama,

I bumped this up for you, in case some of the stuff here might be useful for Fiona's spiritual gathering.


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

i really liked the dance by garth brooks.
here's the lyrics...
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

reminds me of the pregnancy and the good times and memories we now share.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

That's so lovely Jess.


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