# Anyone else dealing with hair pulling at night?



## sept15lija (Jun 21, 2008)

I am getting very frustrated with my hair-pulling DS! He is 12 months old, and usually goes to bed in his crib for the first part of the night, then joins us around 1 or 2 am generally. Once he joins us, a lot of the time he feels he needs to have his hands in my hair and/or pulling it while he's sleeping. If I turn over so he can't access it he will go crazy reaching his hands all over me in his sleep trying to find it and then eventually wakes up crying. It's driving me nuts. Last night I was just so done with it and laid there with him but would not let him pull my hair and he cried on and off for an hour and then alternated between sitting up or standing up in bed and just babbling to himself for almost 2 hours. Finally he fell asleep but was very restless.

DH offered him his head instead, since his hair is so short it doesn't hurt him, and he actually likes it, but Jacob was having none of it, gotta be Mommy's hair. Anyways just wondered if anyone has dealt with this and wondered if anyone has any suggestions?

TIA!


----------



## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

Maybe you could get a silky to occupy his hands. That might help. It sounds like he is looking for the sensory input so if the silky does not work, try a variety of textures. Maybe one of those tabby blankets would help.


----------



## chic2chic (Jan 10, 2007)

you probably don't want to hear this, but my dd2, who is now 3.5, still clutches my hair to comfort herself. (no longer co-sleeping, but she co-slept until almost 3 holding my hair, too) i tried everything as a "hair substitute" but nothing worked.


----------



## mom22girls (May 5, 2005)

Argh - we have two kinds of hair pulling, the "comfort" hahahah pulling (ponytail helps somewhat) and the I'm-angry-mama-doesn't-want-to-nurse-me right-now hair grab (OUCH!). So, as you can imagine, nightweaning is on hold for awhile... But, I can tell you the "comfort" grabbing the skin on mamas underarm is worse, no matter how close you clip her nails it MAKES ME CRAZY!!!! Gosh, re-reading this makes me wonder why I co-sleep







.

Funny Jay Gordon and Tine Thevenin don't mention this in their books!!!


----------



## sept15lija (Jun 21, 2008)

Thanks for the (mostly) commiseration!!









mom22girls - I have both kinds too now that I think about it! lol Sometimes it actually feels kind of nice, or he'll tickle my back which I love. Then at other times I almost yell out loud it hurts so much!

I think I've figured out now that it is a nursing thing. He used to cry when he wanted to nurse, now he's pulling my hair. I've found now the last few nights If I nurse him and then turn over, he'll still try to grab my hair, but at least doesn't start crying when I keep just slightly out of his reach.


----------



## Oliver'sMom (Jul 17, 2007)

Yes! We have hair pulling here too! It's purely for comfort for ds...luckily, no angry mommy hair pulling episodes. Still, it really drives me crazy sometimes. He'll actually call out "mama hair!" when he's upset or tired. I've tried many different options, but it seems there is no substitute. I'm actually growing my hair out now to make things easier for me, since now my hair is so short, I usually have to tilt my head forward or to the side so ds can play with it while he's laying in my lap


----------



## Oliver'sMom (Jul 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa1970* 
Maybe you could get a silky to occupy his hands. That might help. It sounds like he is looking for the sensory input so if the silky does not work, try a variety of textures. Maybe one of those tabby blankets would help.

do you mean a silky blanket? also, what's a tabby blanket?


----------



## sept15lija (Jun 21, 2008)

I've seen tabby ones. They're little soft baby blankets with tabs sewn on to them. I've also seen soft balls with tabs sewn on to them. I always thought "weird!" and maybe all along I needed one! lol I was also thinking of getting him a doll with hair to see if he would like to cuddle with that at all.

It's not just a sleeping thing either, he does it all the time while I'm holding him. If he's giving me cuddles he just has to grab clumps of hair too. I've started telling him owww it hurts mommy but he just smiles and sometimes laughs. Little bum!!


----------



## oliesmama (Jul 27, 2007)

My DS loves to have his hands in my hair. He pulls on my hair while nursing and when he's falling to sleep, he usually has one hand on my head. It seems to comfort him a lot. Sometimes, when he's having a tough time sleeping, he'll get two handfuls and just pull, which is not so fun.

I bought him a doll with yarn hair - hoping I can get him to hug her and pull on the hair rather than mine. It works some of the time. I've tried blankets and other textures - those didn't work for us. As he gets older, he does it less frequently and he will stop grabbing if I repeatedly move his hands away and tell him that mama doesn't want her hair touched.

Good luck!


----------



## VeganMamaRed (Jun 7, 2007)

My DS is 3 1/2 and is very much a hair rubber/twirler. EVERY time he nurses he lays there twirling my hair around and around his fingers and twisting it and rubbing it. When he's tired or needs to be comforted he will suck his thumb and mess with my hair. Any time he even half wakes at night he immedietly goes for the hair. If he is super asleep he sometimes lays there with his arm outstretched twirling imaginary hair around his finger. Only my hair will do.

I have adjusted to it, to be honest. I will even begrudgingly admit that I find the feeling almost calming at this point since I am so used to it. I associate that feeling with him, very much.

With age your little one will learn to be gentler. There were times when DS was that age where he would pull out wads of my hair and it took time to teach him to reign himself in and not pull so hard. That probably doesn't help you now......Sorry!

I guess all I can say is that things will improve eventually. In the meantime, every time he starts pulling too hard put your hand over his and help him to hold your hair gently and say "Gentle, gentle to mama's hair". This is what we had to do with ds and eventually, even as a very tiny guy, he would say it to himself when he would reach for my hair. He picked up on it pretty quickly.

Good luck.


----------



## NonasMama (Mar 6, 2008)

I try to hide my hair and tuck my head under a pillow! I finally end up saying "stop pulling mommy's hair. it hurts." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.


----------

