# HELP!!! Anal retentive toddler?



## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

Help,

My DD, 28 months, has been pottying for 2 weeks now. She goes on her potty by herself and flushes without asking for help. Occasionally still has accidents. A few days ago she started getting freaked out when she has to poop. Freak out isn't the word. Running around screaming, trying to hold it in, and saying it hurts. (I don't really think it hurts because it is soft every time) This goes on for hours. Up to 4 or 5. She finally goes when she can't control it anymore and it just comes.







It is really sad to watch, it is like she is being tortured and it makes me want to cry.







She wants on the potty and off the potty. She wants her diaper on and wants her diaper off. I have 14 week old twins and cannot do this for hours on end. Nothing I say or do helps.
My MIL suggested an enema or suppository. Not what I want to do. If this is psychological I don't want to make it worse.

Has anyones' little one ever experienced this. I think it might be her becoming aware of her body now that she is going potty but I don't know. Should I bring her to the Doc? What if there is something physically wrong? Any insight or advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

namaste


----------



## calicokatt (Mar 14, 2005)

I would guess that your daughter has a fissure. That is, a tear in the rectum, or rectal wall. If she actually seems like it is painful, I would carefully check her bum, and if you find a small tear, treat it like any other wound. If you don't find anything, take her to the doctor, she still might have a tear. If her poops are soft, I don't think suppositories or enema's would help anything at all.









(The tear could have been caused by a hard bowel movement, or excessive straining, so if you DO find something, don't panic







)


----------



## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

Thank you for your post. I have thought about a fissure but have not seen any blood with bowel movements. I am planning on taking her to the doc if it does not get any better in the next few days.
Thanks again


----------



## VBMama (Jan 6, 2004)

My 2-year-old also just started doing this, although he is not using the potty yet. I think that it stemmed from his first bad bout of constipation when he had a nasty cold virus several weeks ago. He does exactly what you are describing, trying so hard to fight the poop from coming out - he falls on the floor and squirms around clenching his bottom and his legs together - and will spend the better part of the day trying not to poop. He won't let me comfort him ("Go 'way, mama!"), and also like you, I don't think that it is actually causing him pain, I'm making sure he is eating foods to keep the poop soft, I think he has just decided he doesn't like the sensation. I don't know what to do either! We are seeing the doctor tomorrow for an ear infection followup, and I'm going to ask what she thinks. It's hard to see them struggling like this, isn't it?!


----------



## soybeansmama (Jan 26, 2006)

I just posted a thread a few days ago about this same thing. hugs to you all that are dealing with it...









My sons issues started at 14 months and we ruled out any physical problems that would attribute to his anal retentiveness. Fissures would bleed, his poop was never hard and dry, etc. It is purely and emotional thing for him. When I spoke to his Ped. he assured me that it is common, especially in little boys.

Toddlers deal with all kinds of anxieties that don't make sense to us. It is hard to watch them agonize over something that seems so silly, but to them it is real fear. Ds is 2 now and his "freak out" sessions are becoming less dramatic. Rescue Remedy has really helped us. So has talking very calmy, and repetitively about the "poop needs to come out and you will feel so happy afterwards" In our desperate moments when it has gone for more than 3 days, we resort to offering suprises or wiggle a suppository in his bottom just enough so that he physically can't hold it anymore.

Good luck and I truly feel for those of you who are trying to help your little ones deal with this! I am not MDC saavy so I don't know how to direct you to the other responses to my original post other than tell you that it was titled POO POO TRAUMA... Some good suggestions there!


----------



## AidansMommy1012 (Jan 9, 2006)

I've heard that a lot of toddlers don't like pooping because they associate the poop as being part of them, and it disturbs them to see it come out and get flushed down the toilet. I hear this also holds true for haircuts and nail trims.


----------



## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

It is comforting to know that my dd isn't the only poor thing dealing with this. Though it can't help her it helps me deal with it better. Thank you for your posts. We are actually going to the doc this afternoon for it, just to rule out anything physical. I will keep you posted....


----------



## anarchamama (Mar 4, 2005)

My son went through thtis in the first few months of potty training. He went from having 2 BM a day to one every two days. He would hold it and hold and dance around his potty saying "oh no oh no". We figured he was just a little wierded out about pooping and didn't make a big deal of it. We let him fidget aorund and tried to stay close to hoome so that when he absolutly couldn't hold it any more the pot was right there........We also found encouraging him to sit on the pot while we read to him helped. We just talked cal,mly about how everyone does it and it will feel better hwne it comes etc.... We also found putting him on the big toilet and lifting his ankles so his legs were straight out and not hanging down would sometimes just be the physical nudge that would cause a release.......he got kinda mad when we did that though. I think this behavior is perfectly normal and will pass as she gets more used to going.........

Heather


----------



## Moon Faerie (Aug 2, 2004)

No advice. I just wanted to let you know that we're going through this with my 28 month old too, although he hasn't started using the potty yet.


----------

