# Pumping Milk So Dad Can Feed ??



## Enchanted Gypsy (Oct 5, 2006)

Greetings !
I had a question I was hoping all you breast feeding mamma's out there could answer.

My husband really wants to share in the feeding of our baby (not due until june 1). We were wondering if it would be possible ( or practical ) for me to pump milk and store it so that my husband and I could trade off feeding during the day and night? Would this confuse the babe ??

Has anyone else tried this ??

Namaste ~ Pixie


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## Benji'sMom (Sep 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Enchanted Gypsy* 
Greetings !
I had a question I was hoping all you breast feeding mamma's out there could answer.

My husband really wants to share in the feeding of our baby (not due until june 1). We were wondering if it would be possible ( or practical ) for me to pump milk and store it so that my husband and I could trade off feeding during the day and night? Would this confuse the babe ??

Has anyone else tried this ??

Namaste ~ Pixie

Hmmm... In my experience the longer you go without using bottles and the less you use them the better. If you're planning on using bottles on a daily or almost every day basis from birth, yes I think that would cause nipple confusion. Not to mention mess up your milk supply because you are using bottles while the milk supply is still being established. It's MUCH easier to establish your milk supply, which the foundation for future breastfeeding success, without any interference from breastpumps or bottles. Yes it can be hard in the beginning when you don't have anyone to help you with feedings, but trying to juggle feeding from the breast, AND pumping enough to give bottles ANDreplacing feedings with bottles AND trying to coordinate a pumping schedule with feedings, I think that is WAY more hectic then just feeding from the breast. I'm not saying a mom can NEVER let a dad give an occasional bottle, but consistently RELYING on bottles is a mistake, I think.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I wouldn't do it.

Dad can bathe, read to, sing to, dress, change diapers, and play, cuddle, etc. can't he?


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## crittersmom (Mar 24, 2005)

All three of my babies are breastfed and I never got the hang of bottle feeding and pumping.I could never pump enough to keep up with the demands of the baby and so it was just easier to give the milk straight from the tap.








DH still got plenty of baby bonding time since if I wasn't nursing or passed out during those new mama days he would hold and cuddle the baby while I got a shower,toilet time or got dinner together.If baby was sleeping I would give him to DH so that they got some nice naps in.
Pumping should really be just an occassional thing or for when you have to work especially during the first couple of months when you and the baby are learning each other.
congrats and good luck!


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## MamaCAS (Jan 6, 2005)

Since I work, I had to pump and bottle feed. During my maternity leave (first three months), I nursed the baby and when she was done, I pumped (trying to get a supply up). When she was three months old, I introduced the bottle and dad could help with feedings. The bad news is, in my case, the kid liked the bottle more -- it was faster and more reliable supply I guess -- so she started to refuse the breast in favor of the bottle when she was around 6 months old. I ended up pumping pretty much exclusively for 6 more months. If I had a choice, I wouldn't offer the bottle. It was sad to lose that bond with her.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

I don't think sharing the feeding experience is a good enough reason to do this, feeding is naturally mom's job. There are other ways for dad to connect, and if it takes a few months for the babe to care much about him it's ok, it will happen in time. Now, after breastfeeding is well established at 4+ weeks, you can pump so he can do the feeding if you need to be someplace else. And after you get the hang of it middle of the night feedings are quite easy breastfeeding and cosleeping, just latch the baby on lying down. Eventually you won't even need to wake up.

Also, just so you know, it is far easier to just nurse the baby than to pump, wash the pump, warm the bottle, feed the baby the bottle, wash the bottle, and so on. So him feeding would not save you any work.


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## amysuen (Dec 7, 2004)

I respectfully disagree. I think feeding is a wonderful way to nurture and Dads can share in this aspect of baby care also.

I BF'd and pumped for all of my DC, and started pumping for 2 week old DS yesterday. DH had to bottle feed each of our DC when I was out of the house, beginning at 6 weeks and they never had nipple confusion or refused the breast. Our 2 yr old DS BF'd past 14 mos until he decided to wean himself.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

For some it dosnt affect the supply but for others it does and has caused many moms and babies to loose the nursing relationship very early. You have to weigh the risks w/ the benifits.


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## Daisie125 (Oct 26, 2005)

I personally wouldn't do it. I've heard too many stories of even older babies prefering the bottle to the breast, and I'm not willing to do anything that may mess up my BF relationship unless I have no other choice.


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## Bartock (Feb 2, 2006)

The only bottle my ds 1yo gets is on friday nights, when i work, so that is only like 4-6 oz of pumped milk.
i could not inagine wasting my day trying to pump milk so dad could feed, unless it was mandatory. he can help in such ways as bringing you the baby, when it needs to be fed or burping for you.


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## PJJ (Sep 28, 2006)

As a person who has seen many many newborns and young babies, for every 1 who doesn't get nipple confusion, I have seen 10 who do and trying to get a latch at one week postpartum is so sad with Moma crying. Yes, there are babies that do not get confused. But in my experience, introducing the bottle before one month just to do it is a mistake for 90% of mothers. And resting after birth matters more than just about anything.

No judgements here, just my experience.

Take care.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I was initially very opposed to bottles and DH resigned himself to not feeding the baby until she started solids (which, really? not so long to wait.)

However, I had massive supply problems and we ended up supplementing with formula. DH was happy that he got to feed her - at first. Then the PITA that is the wash, sterilize, etc. bottle routine got to him, and pumping is also a huge pain, and generally the bottles were loathed at my house pretty darn quick. My DH also didn't find it much of a bonding experience. He took DD out for a walk every day, and found that to be a much better bonding tool.

So, just my 2 cents, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't have to. It's a pain, plus there are risks. Why bother?


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## ani'smommy (Nov 29, 2005)

I wouldn't do it, but I hate pumping, too, so there's that. DH had plenty of opportunities to feed the babe, but only when it was absolutely necessary -- like when I was at work.

I would WAY rather nurse a baby at night then get up and pump. I know DD always preferred to nurse, too.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I forgot about that issue even if your dh feed your baby a bottle so that you could sleep you would still need to get up and pump when it was time for the baby to eat or risk your supply and painfull ingorgment.


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## Penelope (Jul 22, 2003)

Congratulations on your upcoming babe!

If your dh is nervous about what his role will be and anxious to bond with the baby, consider buying him a nice sling. Having some of his own baby gear, sized for his frame, in a manly color, can be an incentive to wear the baby. And that's a great experience equally available to moms and dads.


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## emikey (Dec 6, 2004)

I agree that it's great for Dad to have lots of other ways to get involved. Definitely get him his own sling, too. But here is a success story for you - we introduced the bottle at about 4 weeks, because I had a 3-day job interview. I have heard that introducing it earlier will cause nipple confusion and later might be too late for a baby to take the bottle. 1-2 months is the best time. We had had a good nursing relationship until then, so that helped. I got the job and my DH is a SAHD now so he feeds DS during the day with milk that I pump at work. It hasn't caused a problem with nursing at all - DS is 9 months old and loves to nurse whenever I am around.

Two caveats, though - 1) I wouldn't let Dad do nighttime feedings until your supply and your bf relationship is really well established. It can cause your supply to drop at night. There will be PLENTY of other opportunities for him to walk, rock, shush, cuddle, and sing to the baby at night after the baby is done nursing but won't fall asleep, especially in the early weeks. For the first little while we basically tag-team-slept through the night, between nursing and rocking.

2) It's very hard, emotionally, to let someone else feed your baby, even your DH. I burst into tears and hid when DS had his first bottle, even though I had pumped the milk. If I went out without the baby and I came home to find him with a bottle, I felt angry at DH and guilty and angry at myself.
On the other hand, it's a relief to be able to, say, go for a jog and know that you don't have to time it exactly or risk coming home to a screaming hungry baby who looks at you reproachfully.

Good luck!


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## MonkeyAndOtterMom (Oct 1, 2006)

it seems i may be the outcast here, but i do this. i started pumping about a week after ds was born, he would sleep so much and i would get really full. dad didnt give him his first bottle till about a month old and it was fine, actually great! ds never has refused the boob and its more than obvious that we prefers it but once in a while its nice to have. also bottles have saved my sanity more than a few times at home but especially in the car. ds doesnt sleep in the car, he screams. but a bottle keeps him happy (plus a little enya cd). we waited till about 2 mos to leave him with grandma for an evening out, it was our aniversary and we wnet to a nice dinner. she says the bolltes were great and he could have stayed longer if we had wanted to stay out.
i do understand the whole bonding between mom and baby but as a sahm mom, we are together all day, usually in a sling.
i would say gp for it. i pump at night a few hours after ds goes to bed so he doesnt miss a feeding and i usually get a 3-4 oz bottle. and we only give him a bottle once every few days
adrienne


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amysuen* 
I respectfully disagree. I think feeding is a wonderful way to nurture and Dads can share in this aspect of baby care also.

I BF'd and pumped for all of my DC, and started pumping for 2 week old DS yesterday. DH had to bottle feed each of our DC when I was out of the house, beginning at 6 weeks and they never had nipple confusion or refused the breast. Our 2 yr old DS BF'd past 14 mos until he decided to wean himself.











I think it's a wonderful idea.







My dh adored giving our babies their bottles of EBM and I have some lovely photographs of their time together. The only caveat I would say is to wait to start pumping until you are 4-5 weeks post partum and to wait to give a bottle until the baby is at least 6 weeks or beyond. *All 3 of my babies got bottles of expressed breastmilk beginning at around 6 weeks and not one of them ever had "nipple confusion".*

Pumping tip: I had great success by pumping one side while baby fed from the other side _during the very first morning feeding_. The first feeding of the day is the most abundant and by pumping one side while feeding on the other you get excellent letdown. After baby finishes the first side, switch pump and baby and pump the second side. There will still be milk for both baby and pump.









Try not to pump too much because that may artificially increase your supply and then you'll have engorgement issues.

I am still breastfeeding baby #3 and she will be two in a few weeks. My dh gave her EBM in a bottle every day starting at 5.5 weeks.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

Congratulations on your pregnancy and for finding your way here before the baby arrives!

There are so many other ways for dad to bond with the baby, bottles of EBM are a lot of work when there are many other opportunities. I think getting him his own sling is a great idea in addition to the others.

In any case, artificial nipples (pacifiers or bottles) should not be introduced until breastfeeding has been well established and there are no issues, usually about 6 weeks. As previously stated, a mom's milk supply can be adversly effected easily for some and not so much for others. Why risk it?

There is a reason why mom has the breasts that produce the milk to nourish the baby: mom & baby need to be together a lot in the beginning.

While there are a few stories here of babies who haven't become nipple confused or develop nipple preference, it seems like a big risk to me. I do think one of the two situations happens more often than not.

Good luck & let us know how you make out with your little one!

Sus


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## aweynsayl (Sep 27, 2003)

if DH really wants to help, i'd suggest he do all night diaper changes.


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## Nora'sMama (Apr 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moosemommy* 
if DH really wants to help, i'd suggest he do all night diaper changes.









That's what my DH did. It was great. I didn't have to get out of bed.


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## friendtoall (Dec 29, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Enchanted Gypsy* 
Greetings !
I had a question I was hoping all you breast feeding mamma's out there could answer.

My husband really wants to share in the feeding of our baby (not due until june 1). We were wondering if it would be possible ( or practical ) for me to pump milk and store it so that my husband and I could trade off feeding during the day and night? Would this confuse the babe ??

Has anyone else tried this ??

Namaste ~ Pixie

That was our plan too but pumping is, for me, such a PITA that it wasn't worth it. Not to mention that neither of us could get her to take the bottle. Didn't even bother trying with baby#2; in fact, I'd have to look very hard to find the pump and bottles.

If DH really wants special time with the baby, let him have sole responsibility for something else, like baths, which are also a great bonding experience, especially if you can get them in the bath together!


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## mochimama (May 25, 2006)

My dh sings dd to sleep every night and for many naps. I feed, he puts her to sleep. We both feel we have our own special time.
Congrats on your upcoming arrival!


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## rambunctiouscurls (Oct 4, 2006)

I agree with most of the moms here. A lot of people I know were also concerned with dad feeding and ended up losing their supply (because it was hard to keep up with the demand), nipple confusion and sadly it led to prematurely ending their nursing relationship.

Dh helps with reading to her during tummy time, walking with her in a sling, and best of all, changing her diapers (I think the frequency of changing diapers only comes second to feeding).

Since there are so many ways for dad to bond, I wouldn't Risk ending our nursing relationship. It's the sweetest thing.

P.S. Congratulations on your pregnancy!


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## sunnysideup (Jan 9, 2005)

The biggest reason my babies never had bottles--it was so much easier not to bother. I found pumping to be a huge PITA. It took me about four times as long to pump as it did to nurse the baby, so it just wouldn't have been any sort of break for me.

When my babies were small, dh took over the task of rocking (actually more of a stand and bounce) them to sleep. It was a wonderful bonding experience for dad, and a nice break for me.


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## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Quote:

Hmmm... In my experience the longer you go without using bottles and the less you use them the better. If you're planning on using bottles on a daily or almost every day basis from birth, yes I think that would cause nipple confusion
I just had a conversation with a breastfeeding consultant from our county's Smart Start. I mentioned nipple confusion with bottles and breast. She believes it is not always true. Why? Because the Hispanic clients who come to see her as a rule start from birth with both BOTTLE and BREAST with no problems with nipple confusion AND they breastfeed longer than their caucasian counterparts.

I was in shock and awe upon hearing this info.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Potty Diva* 
I just had a conversation with a breastfeeding consultant from our county's Smart Start. I mentioned nipple confusion with bottles and breast. She believes it is not always true. Why? Because the Hispanic clients who come to see her as a rule start from birth with both BOTTLE and BREAST with no problems with nipple confusion AND they breastfeed longer than their caucasian counterparts.

I was in shock and awe upon hearing this info.


I was given this exact same info when I had ds 4 1/2 years ago.....and it is NOT true. The latino community does NOT breastfeed longer than their caucasian counterparts, check the statistics, not the uniformed consultant. Most go completely to formula by the 3rd month because of the early intro to the bottle and the going back and forth with extreme frequency and almost all do NOT make it to the one year that the AAP recommends.

To the OP- I agree with those that daddy can bond with baby through so MANY other ways and that he should allow you to handle the feedings. Some dads DO feel left out, for whatever reason or another, which is THEIR deal, not the mom's. My dh is completely bonded and utterly devoted to my two kids who he did NOT give bottles to. He changed diapers, was the official swaddler ( daddy's seem to be able to do this much better and tighter for some reason), he wore my kids in the sling and held them constantly. But I fed them, I have the equipment. Pumping is a lot of work for mom to do just so can "bond' with baby when he can do that without you having to go through all of that work. If you will be going back to work, or the bottle is a neccesity for whatever reason, go for it. But if it's just for daddy, I'd pass.


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## apelilae (Oct 8, 2006)

Congratulations!!! My mom in law helped us introduce a bottle to my son (who is 3 months now) when he was 6 weeks. He'll take them from her and my dad in law just fine, but he won't take them from my DH. We're still working on that. I was told repeatedly by many LCs that introducing a bottle after you've been BF with out ANY problems for four weeks is fine to do. Pumping was easy for me. I have a double electric that I don't like so much. But I love my Medela manual. I nurse on one side and pump the other. Makes it super easy for us. You'll find what works for you!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Can you talk to him about why he wants or feels that he needs to feed your child? Does he want to do it to help you or save you waking in the night etc or does he feel that it will help him bond with the baby or some other reason?

I don't mean that any of these are invalid but you can let him know that there are so many ways that he will love your and his child that he doesn't need to feed him or her to show that love.

Lots of dads are really good at burping in the early months which is a skill not to be ignored! Snuggling and cuddling while mummy sleeps is also great as is slinging when you are out and about in the early days and maybe still feeling not 100% strong.


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## sewmom (Oct 5, 2003)

I agree that you shouldn't introduce a bottle so soon. Daddy can do lots of other things.

BTW, your thread title make me envision daddy with the pump hooked up to his chest!


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## jcchirib (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaCAS* 
The bad news is, in my case, the kid liked the bottle more -- it was faster and more reliable supply I guess -- so she started to refuse the breast in favor of the bottle when she was around 6 months old.

I'm so sorry--this started to happen with me, too. With me, I would go over to nurse her at lunch (I WOHM), she would just nibble a little, wait for me to leave, and then immediately want a bottle. It took me a couple of weeks to figure out what was happening, and then I needed to deal with the resulting decreased supply issues for a couple of more weeks.

So, Enchanted Gypsy, unless you absolutely must pump (i.e, student/WOHM, etc.), I would not recommend bottles at all. I am convinced that my little one had not developed a "nipple confusion" but an absolute nipple preference. And it's just as bad as the nipple confusion some people talk about! I haven't read about it, but I think that developing a fake-nipple preference is a danger with unnecessary bottle-feeding even past the six-week no-fake-nipple period breastfeeding books talk about. Even with the slow-flow bottle nipples that are availabe.

As far as including your dh with feeding, that can certainly be done. I always liked it when, while nursing, dh would put his arm around me so he could be close to both me and the little one--I always thought that that was "helping with feeding!" My mom told me that my father made it his role to bring the baby to her when the baby needed to nurse, and that he would say very sweet things to the baby on the way. Both my dh and my father were/are very bonded to their little ones.

Hope this helps...


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## jcchirib (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Enchanted Gypsy* 
Greetings !
We were wondering if it would be possible ( or practical ) for me to pump milk and store it so that my husband and I could trade off feeding during the day and night?

Oh, and if you are concerned about the trading off to help with sleep issues...really consider either co-sleeping or at least having the baby sleep in your room. If not co-sleeping, your husband could be the one to pick the baby up and bring him or her to you to nurse. These arrangements would really help with fatigue, compared with having to deal with night-time bottles. I always found that it was my feet hitting the cold hard wood floor that woke me up more than the feeding itself!


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## mooliette (Jan 8, 2004)

I'm a full time working mama, I had Anna 10 weeks ago and started pumping when she was 2 weeks old. DH offered her a bottle at almost 8 weeks to test it out. It was the most beautiful thing to see him look in her eyes and her into his, I took pictures because the moment was so sweet.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...7/IMG_1671.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...7/IMG_1673.jpg

He is helping me and her make the transition gently. I can't help the fact I need to work, I return on April 23rd and have over 300oz stored so far.

That being said, if I had the opportunity to stay at home for good, there would be no need for him to bottle feed. As others have said, papa has other ways he can bond with her.


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
I wouldn't do it.

Dad can bathe, read to, sing to, dress, change diapers, and play, cuddle, etc. can't he?









: It's mom's job to feed the baby....that's why she has boobies!


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## Minerva (Jul 7, 2005)

If he wants to feed the baby so badly, you can give him a choice of holding the baby or holding the breast.









I wouldn't go with a bottle at all if you don't have to. Every person I know who scoffed at nipple confusion weaned to bottles (and formula) shortly thereafter.


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## christifav (Nov 10, 2005)

I'm on dc2 and for both of them I began pumping as soon as my milk came in. At first just to relieve engorgement, and later to build up a stockpile in the freezer. We did not introduce the bottle until 4 weeks and by then we had a great nursing relationship. I returned to work at 6 weeks and DH is a SAHD so he feeds during the workday and I nurse in the morning/evening/night.

I hate pumping, but it is the only way I can return to work and since we are not independently wealthy, I've gotta do it.









All that said, DH doesn't feel like he's missing out when I nurse, nor does he feel a more special bond when he bottle feeds. Dh does all the other parently duties...diapers, burping, baths, playing, baby wearing...so feeding isn't an issue one way or the other for him.

Everyone is different, I'm just sharing our experience with you. Whatever you decide, please please please consider carefully when you introduce the bottle so you can protect the nursing relationship. Good luck and congrats!


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