# Carelessness



## forestrymom (Jul 13, 2006)

How do you have a relationship with someone who just doesn't take the time to care? We do as much as we can and are always looking for more ways to be green, eat better, waste less. I am so irritated that most people just don't. A mother asked me about 7th generation diapers, and I suggested cloth. She told me she tried them with her oldest, but he couldn't walk in them so she switched back to disposables and she isnt' interested in trying again because they just aren't right for her family. I told her (as nicely as I could) to visit a landfill and see how much doesn't decompose, of even the stuff that is "biodegradeable" and she commented that while she understands that we have to live our lives for our children's tomorrow, she doesn't have time. Blah. I am just so frustrated by everyone living in the now and not bothering to think about and live for what this world might become. I just want to know how to live with people and show them how we can all do better without brushing them off, because, frankly, most of the people in my day to day life just don't care.


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## tanyam926 (May 25, 2005)

I really don't think it's always about not caring. I have had to realize that every person is on their own journey in life, so not everyone will be in the same place at the same time, KWIM?

For example, (and this is one I remind myself of bc it is relevant to me), there are some people who are fitness buffs, they work out religiously, etc. and have no extra body fat. Well, that's not me. I care about my health, how I feel, how I look, but I could lose about 10 lbs. (pre-pg, now more







)

Does that make me ignorant, selfish, lazy, disgusting? Well, to some people yes. To others no.

My point is that when I get frustrated w/ people I know or work with about their seemingly uncaring attitudes on important (to me) issues, I try to remind myself that the best thing I can do is be a good example.

As for CD, I love it, but before I knew anything about it I used sposies for my 1st son. A friend of mine turned me on to CD bc of her love for it, she would not have won me over if she told me to go look at a landfill. (I also thought I didn't have time, or it was too hard).

I know how you feel though. Sometimes you feel like the only one around you that actually thinks about stuff.


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## iamama (Jul 14, 2003)

I know how you feel. I feel like all my hard eco work is quickly "undone" when people leave their Hummers to idle while they drive thru for a coffee. I'm like damn it! I just made homemade waste veggie oil fuel, bought organic fair trade coffee beans at my local food coop brought it home in a canvas bag!


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

I have been feeling like that saying "Live by example" is just a bunch of crapola. Most people just don't want to be bothered with anything that might in anyway put them out even just a little bit. And god forbid you try and ever so nicely tell them that doing A, B or C is just going to destroy the earth. They don't care at all. It is too hard, it means they have to give up something, whatever.
That other saying "You get more flys with honey then with vinegar" BULL! Either way you don't get what you are after. You act like cloth dipaering is the bomb, show them all the nicey stuff, how easy it is, how comfy they are, what have you or you show them a land fill and give a swif kick in the butt and people still don't give a hoot.
They won't be here, so why bother. And they're kids will fix it so they don't need to worry.
Ok so I am in a bad mood tonight. LOL I am sure I am no help in making you feel like humanity will see the light. LOL

H


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## lilgreen (Dec 5, 2003)

I struggle with this so much in my marriage. H just doesn't seem to care. But, if I put into perspective and note how much he has changed in regard to things I feel are important, it's *somewhat* impressive. He recycles (when it's convenient, but at least he does) and he will use the cloth diapers (as long as they're folded and easy to access). He's at a very different place than me and it drives me bonkers because I feel like I'm sacrificing my principles to accomodate his 'carelessness.' It's tricky business trying to not say anything when you feel it's so right. I find it so hard to accept it as a 'difference of opinion or priorities' when it's such a matter of principle.

sigh. I guess that's why I come here... to be with likeminded people.


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## APMomOfKimmyN-Maya (Jun 1, 2006)

I struggle with this myself. I often feel I am surrounded by short sighted people who do not think about our children's/grandchildren's future and who do not make the time to be proactive about sustaining it.

I read a quote the other day that gave me a little better perspective. "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." Robert Louis Stevenson

So even if we don't get someone to switch to cloth or get someone to spend hours researching some important topic, as long as we keep talking about things and spreading the word about how to live a better life then that is all we can do. Who knows when the person you mentioned cloth to might hear about cloth from another source or read about an easier way to do cloth and then all of a sudden change her mind?

We just have to keep respectfully and kindly offering up information and hope people take it, either now or later on down the line.








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## sweetpeppers (Dec 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *APMomOfKimmyN-Maya* 
I struggle with this myself. I often feel I am surrounded by short sighted people who do not think about our children's/grandchildren's future and who do not make the time to be proactive about sustaining it.

I read a quote the other day that gave me a little better perspective. "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant." Robert Louis Stevenson

So even if we don't get someone to switch to cloth or get someone to spend hours researching some important topic, as long as we keep talking about things and spreading the word about how to live a better life then that is all we can do. Who knows when the person you mentioned cloth to might hear about cloth from another source or read about an easier way to do cloth and then all of a sudden change her mind?

We just have to keep respectfully and kindly offering up information and hope people take it, either now or later on down the line.








:

I totally agree. It's hard to change the way you live your life, and most of us are bucking our parent's voices in our heads talking about "those crazy environmentalists." It's frustrating that most people don't take care with the way they live their lives, but we never know who is on the fence, and just might take our advice or see how we are living and want to live gently as well.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *forestrymom* 
I just want to know how to live with people and show them how we can all do better without brushing them off, because, frankly, most of the people in my day to day life just don't care.

It takes all kinds, and it's great that you are out there advocating for less waste to the landfill. Maybe you would feel less discouraged if you thought of the good that other people are contributing. Maybe she doesn't have time because she feels it's very important to volunteer with foster children, or because she's a working mom, but also sends 5% of her income to non-profit environmentalist groups or something. Or maybe she's like me, and while she wants to keep sposies out of the landfill, she also wants to treat her children kindly and break a cycle of violence passed on from her mother, the unending heaps of laundry from a family of five stress her out and so she thinks it's worth it to only use cloth about half the time, and plans to make it up to the earth in other ways.


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## lakesuperiormom (Apr 11, 2007)

i find this thread enlightening! we use cloth not because we care about our earth (we do!) but because we care about our BABY who we don't want the crappy chemicals on and because they are so darn cute! i love cloth! alot of mamas don't know all the options of cloth or have time to research them. i've felt like a little book of pamphlet (more paper waste!) would be a great education for new mamas...think those formula packets at the dr's.....why couldn't they pass cloth diaper info on to new mamas?


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## LittleSaylorBoat (Mar 18, 2007)

Does this person in general care about the environment but just happens to not be educated on cloth diapering, or in general is she a "the world exists me for to use and abuse" type? Because if she is the former, maybe you can help her.

I have a girl at work who I would really like to like except that she just has no sense when it comes to sweatshop produced clothing, hate-speak, conservationism, recycling, reducing electricity consumption, etc. and she doesn't seem to want to have to hear what I have to say about it either. Unfortunately, I've really had to disinvest myself form the friendship as a result.


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## Narn (Nov 7, 2007)

Why would someone say they don't use cloth because they don't have time? Where is all this time I'm spending with cloth that I wouldn't with disposables? Is it the two or three loads of laundry a week that probably add up to fifteen minutes all together?


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Narn* 
Why would someone say they don't use cloth because they don't have time? Where is all this time I'm spending with cloth that I wouldn't with disposables? Is it the two or three loads of laundry a week that probably add up to fifteen minutes all together?

Wow. You're a fast laundress. It takes me at least twenty minutes to fold a load of prefolds, which is what I use. And if I'm not caught up with the laundry, and need to get the diapers in, it just gets tough. Anyway, I can see that this is not a thread for me.


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## forestrymom (Jul 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
It takes all kinds, and it's great that you are out there advocating for less waste to the landfill. Maybe you would feel less discouraged if you thought of the good that other people are contributing. Maybe she doesn't have time because she feels it's very important to volunteer with foster children, or because she's a working mom, but also sends 5% of her income to non-profit environmentalist groups or something. Or maybe she's like me, and while she wants to keep sposies out of the landfill, she also wants to treat her children kindly and break a cycle of violence passed on from her mother, the unending heaps of laundry from a family of five stress her out and so she thinks it's worth it to only use cloth about half the time, and plans to make it up to the earth in other ways.









I get where you are coming from, but seriously, there is no more time involved in cloth, when you figure out how long it takes to buy the diapers, pay for them, drive to buy them when you run out in the middle of the night and forgot to pick them up, yada, yada...and I don't understand how diapers contribute to the cycle of abuse?

And this woman is one of those people who does a very small amount becuase its chic, not because she cares, kwim?

I do 4 loads of cloth a week, tops. And it takes me all of 15 extra minutes total, PER WEEK. You don't HAVE to fold them.


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