# How long do you REALLY have to abstain?



## Melissa S (Dec 30, 2003)

My cycle is usually very predictabe but I've read to abstain 9 days before O and other resources say there's only a 48 hour window during O that you can actually concieve. I'm charting faithfully but I'd really like to know the actual time frame you are supposed to abstain before and after O? Can anyone help?

Melissa


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## Maple Leaf (Apr 10, 2004)

Hi Melissa!

I have never heard of abstaining! This is the general rule of thumb that I have learned from www.fertilityfriend.com

You BD every other day up until you get a positive OPK. Then you do it lots! Well some say to BD 3 days in a row, skip a day then BD again. This just covers your bases before O and once after in case.

Really you want the spermies there waiting before your eggie appears!

Good luck, lots of baby dust and I hope this helps!


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

Wait... are you TTC or TTA?

If you're TTA, then you abstain as soon as you see a hint of CM. Sticky Creamy, whatever. Then, after you've Oed, and your temp has risen for three days, you can stop abstaining.

If you're TTC, then you'd want to have sex every other day or every couple days around your fertile period to give time for dh's sperm to build back up.

In a vacuum, a woman is only fertile for about 48 hours MAX. Usually less than that. That allows for the 24 hour period that the released egg can remain alive. But when you add CF into the mix, you can be fertile for as long as you have fertile CM (before O). The fertile CM provide a hospitable environment for the sperm to live inside of you. So, you may bd, then not ovulate for a couple days, but the sperm are still alive, so they can fertilize the egg when it comes. Does that make sense?

Have you read TCOYF? I highly recommend it. I had read other books of NFP before that, but once I read TCOYF, it all became clear.


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## Melissa S (Dec 30, 2003)

Yes, I'm TTA, probably should have posted in the NFP forum. I don't take my temp b/c I ALWAYS get crampy pain when I'm O and it ALWAYS lasts EXACTLY three days. But about the CM, that makes alot of sense. I just had a really wacky cycle which I attribute to changes in nursing so I'm trying to work in some predictability. I already have 4 kids and the last three are close together so I'm definately not TTC. I do need to read TCOYF. Or maybe join the Couple to Couple Leauge in my area.

Thanks for the reply.

Melissa


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## Maple Leaf (Apr 10, 2004)

I highly recommend the Couple to Couple league. DH and I took the course before we were married. I really enjoyed it. We abstained for a while, and I think it was safe when you had 3 days in a row of high temps. The CM monitoring will help if you don't take temps. We've been ttcing for so long, don't take my word for it. Go to www.ccli.org instead!


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## Palmetto210 (May 28, 2003)

We have been using NFP to TTA for about 3 years, and are getting ready to shift to TTC.

My cycles are b/w 29-33 days (depending on my stress levelin the first 14 days







) and we abstain on average about 7-10 days. The longer times are because I used to travel a lot with my job and we weren't always together ofr the last part of Phase I.


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## pageta (Nov 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Melissa S*
I don't take my temp b/c I ALWAYS get crampy pain when I'm O and it ALWAYS lasts EXACTLY three days.

Okay, I'm glad you said that because I don't chart my temp for the same reason. My cycles are fairly regular - I ovulate around day 14. I get crampy and I have obvious cervical fluid. I have TCOYF and it says that you're safe for the first 5 days, and then every dry day, then on day 4 after you ovulate. I'm not good at detecting sticky cervical fluid (vs. creamy or egg white) so we just abstain until Day 4.

But I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets cramps around ovulation. Sometimes it's worse than the cramps I get during AF. My ob/gyn told me to take flaxseed oil for the cramps during AF. I wonder if that's supposed to help with the cramps during ovulation too?


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## Melissa S (Dec 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pageta*
But I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets cramps around ovulation. Sometimes it's worse than the cramps I get during AF. My ob/gyn told me to take flaxseed oil for the cramps during AF. I wonder if that's supposed to help with the cramps during ovulation too?

I hear ya! My O cramps are worse too. Actually, the most pain I get from AF is just that my outer genetalia get very swollen and I can actually feel throbbing there on heavy flow days. I don't know if this is common. If you are on a calcium supplement I have also heard to double your calcium intake during crampy times.

Melissa


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

I don't have cramps cept the first day or so of AF, and occasionally around O, which is not at all out of the range of common. But I know what you mean by outer genitals hurting. Sometimes the first day, mine are very tender. I don't even want to touch them. But, it goes away by the second or third day.


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## NatureMama3 (Feb 25, 2004)

I really WOULD avoid plenty long before ovulation. My son was concieved from intercourse that was 6 days before ovulation.









Yes, the *woman* is only fertile for up to 48 hours, but sperm can live 7-8 days max. Not all do, but they CAN.

Fortunately for us, we WERE trying to concieve.


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## pizzabailey (Aug 18, 2004)

Hi Melissa,
My Mom has been telling me forever, that she is responsible for many women getting pregnant. She advices to wait three weeks or longer, before trying, to get pregnant. My mom is not a doctor, but has successfully help many people. On the other hand, my doctor tells me no longer than a week. The reason for that is, to get rid of dead sperm build up in the male. I am now taking my moms advice.







Good luck. Jennie


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## pizzabailey (Aug 18, 2004)

Hi, I posted before about my Moms advice. I too get cramps during ovulation.I did not always feel this.Recently I had surgery and a large cyst was removed from my uterus.Prior to this I had very short and light periods, with no cramps around ovulation.Now my periods are heavy and a little longer.And I have cramps when I ovulate.Yea, maybe the surgery worked and I can get pregnant. Another thing about how long to wait before having sex.I think it depends if your husbands sperm count is high or low.My husband has a low sperm count, so waiting atleast a week is good.But to tell the truth, three weeks without sex, I noticed a big difference in the sperm amount.Hope Im not conflicting with my other post. Jennie


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