# 9 month old hitting slapping and scratching



## kdaisy (Nov 1, 2007)

...and pulling hair and biting. Is this normal? He has become increasingly more aggressive. It is worse when he is tired. Otherwise he is a pretty happy baby.

DS says I need to discipline him. But is it even possible to discipline a 9 month old? I say "No" or "gentle" and sign "gentle" to him, but he usually just laughs at me.

He is also pretty mean nursing. How can I teach him nursing manners?

I am also suffering PPD, DH says he isn't "sweet" because of me.









Please tell me it is normal behavioral stuff!


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## trillian11 (Apr 13, 2008)

Aw, your little guy is very cute!

Mine's about the same age as yours, and he's doing a lot of the same thing. He seems to think hair is cool, and likes to pull it, and especially when he's having trouble settling down to sleep kneads and scratches and pinches when he nurses. I say ouch, that hurts Mommy, please don't hit/pull my hair/etc... or guide him to something else. I think he's just realizing he can do things like that, and maybe it makes a neat noise or feels neat etc. He's a baby, and isn't doing *anything* to be mean. He doesn't even know what that is.

IMO, your DH is a bit...um, crazy to say it nicely, for thinking 1) that you need to discipline a 9-month old at all, because he's a baby; and that 2) your DS isn't "sweet" because of you. How the heck is that supposed to help your PPD? Is your DH generally a supportive guy? Your DS is absolutely sweet. He's a baby and he's doing normal baby stuff.


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## WyattsMom2008 (May 9, 2008)

Re: the hair pulling and hitting, it is normal. I never did or said anything to discipline ds, and he is now 11 mo. I tried hard not to react at all so he would not make it into a game. I would just take his fingers and remove them from my hair. When he was hitting me while carrying him, I would switch him to a different carrying position. With the pinching, there was nothing to do but endure it and then try to see it coming and avoid it the next time around. He's a lot better now. He never pinches anymore. He still grabs my hair quite a bit, but usually he only runs his fingers lightly over it and doesn't yank it.

Re: the mean nursing, what do you mean - biting? I taught ds not to bite by pushing my breast into his face to suffocate him. I had to hold his head into it for a couple seconds to make it extra effective. It took three weeks of repetition. After that three weeks, he learned not to do it but occasionally reverted. Every time he reverted, I would start to suffocate him again and he would immediately pull back and would not do it anymore for a while. He doesn't bite anymore.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Oh mama!









You baby isn't mean, he is exploring!!!

Everything you said is totally normal baby behaviour, he isn't mean, he wont learn manners yet, and doesn't need to be disciplined.

If he hits you, hold his sweet chubby hand and say gentle, while stroking his hand against your body. This shows him what gentle is, a concept no one is born with!

Offer him some little toys, or a blankie to hold while nursing. It is normal for him to need something to help him wind down, but it doesn't have to be your skin!

Best of luck Mama, you will get through this!


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## NaturallyPeachey (Jan 23, 2008)

my 8 mo. old packs a mean punch and thinks grabbing a fistful of hair and pulling it really really hard and fast is hysterical. oh, and when we're nursing he likes to pull the boob he's nursing on and stretch it every which way - which means the nipple follows which then makes DS bite down to save the nipple from slipping away.







i've had many a days when i swore i was going to the store to buy a can of formula!


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## pbjmama (Sep 20, 2007)

All normal and the same as my dd right now. Kids at this age are learnign cause/effect, how to use their bodies, etc. They don't know what causes pain and what doesn't. What kind of mean nursing things are you talking about? Biting, pinching?


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## kdaisy (Nov 1, 2007)

Thanks for all of the replies!

By "mean" (not the best choice of words), I meant what I was describing above, pinching, hitting, etc. He acts like he wants to gouge out my eyes. Sometimes it feels like I am nursing a wolverine. Luckily, no serious biting yet.

And, I agree, my husband is nuts.

Glad it sounds fairly common. With the PPD, I sometimes second-guess what effects I am having on him.


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## pbjmama (Sep 20, 2007)

Okay, so for the nursing have you tried a nursing necklace or similar toy? When my dd is especially fiesty I nurse in the cradle position. Cradle her head in my left elbow and hold her tight which blocks her right arm, put my right arm between her legs and hold her left hand.


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## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WyattsMom2008* 
Re: the mean nursing, what do you mean - biting? I taught ds not to bite by pushing my breast into his face to suffocate him. I had to hold his head into it for a couple seconds to make it extra effective. It took three weeks of repetition. After that three weeks, he learned not to do it but occasionally reverted. Every time he reverted, I would start to suffocate him again and he would immediately pull back and would not do it anymore for a while. He doesn't bite anymore.
















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The whole idea of this technique makes me want to cry. How does someone even get this idea!?

When they bite while nursing, they don't get any milk. If DD bites I unlatch her and say "Oh, I suppose you're done." Then I wait at least 15 minutes to put her back. This works VERY well and does not involve smothering your baby.


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## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

To the OP, it's a phase and it will pass. That is WAY normal baby stuff that every baby does. Also, we have no control over the temperaments of our children, it is the way they are born and the way they will be.

Your husband is the one who needs some discipline.

I have PPD too, I'd totally break down if someone said that to me. When the depression was bad, I don't think I could defend myself against such assaults.









PM me if you want to chat.


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## lurable (Jul 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WyattsMom2008* 
Re: the mean nursing, what do you mean - biting? I taught ds not to bite by pushing my breast into his face to suffocate him. I had to hold his head into it for a couple seconds to make it extra effective. It took three weeks of repetition. After that three weeks, he learned not to do it but occasionally reverted. Every time he reverted, I would start to suffocate him again and he would immediately pull back and would not do it anymore for a while. He doesn't bite anymore.









:








That is awful.

Op- at this age redirection works well- an above poster suggested a toy or a nursing necklace--something like that. Babies don't need to be disciplined or punished for normal behavior.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I think perhaps WyattsMom2008 used a loaded word when she said "suffocate." What she is describing is a fairly common technique, endorsed by La Leche League, among others. The idea is that when a barracuda baby has latched on, the very best thing for all involved (and for mama's nipples) is for that baby to stop biting down on their own free will. Anything else can have very bad side effects-- yelling can scare a baby into a nursing strike, trying to pull away or putting your finger in there can end in nipple trauma. A mother's natural instinct is to pull away, but that's not good for the nipple.

So, very gently pressing the baby _towards_ the breast rather than trying to pull away from the biting baby causes the baby to stop biting down on her own.

I would never, ever use the word "suffocation" to describe this-- not only would suffocating a baby be cruel, it would also be illegal--but it is a common technique.

Quote:

Therefore, another response to biting that some mothers have found useful is to pull baby in closer to the breast, at least momentarily.
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/bite.html

Quote:

If your baby bites down and doesn't let go (most let go immediately without mom doing anything), there are a couple of things you can do: First, quickly place your finger between baby's gums so you can pull away without (more) injury. *If that doesn't work, pull baby TOWARD you, very close to your breast. This will make it a little hard to breathe, so baby will automatically let go to open her mouth more and uncover her nose to breathe.*
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html


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## ~patty (May 8, 2006)

My babe just hit 9 months old and she is getting beasty ;-) I am attributing it to her personality coming out and her getting frustrated that I am not understanding what she wants at EXACTLY that moment.


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## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I think perhaps WyattsMom2008 used a loaded word when she said "suffocate." What she is describing is a fairly common technique, endorsed by La Leche League, among others. The idea is that when a barracuda baby has latched on, the very best thing for all involved (and for mama's nipples) is for that baby to stop biting down on their own free will. Anything else can have very bad side effects-- yelling can scare a baby into a nursing strike, trying to pull away or putting your finger in there can end in nipple trauma. A mother's natural instinct is to pull away, but that's not good for the nipple.

I don't care who it's endorsed by, I would never do that. Call it suffocation or not, doesn't matter. I personally think it's a very negative response to a baby. The baby does not understand that it hurts. My own little biter is only 4 months, though, maybe that makes a difference.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *holothuroidea* 
I don't care who it's endorsed by, I would never do that. Call it suffocation or not, doesn't matter. I personally think it's a very negative response to a baby. The baby does not understand that it hurts. My own little biter is only 4 months, though, maybe that makes a difference.

Honestly, when your little guy chomps down on your boob and there's no way out without nipple trauma, you might be happy you heard about this trick. It's a lot less negative than screaming or flicking or pulling the baby's hair (all of which I have heard of and all of which are awful) or causing a nursing strike by your reaction (you don't smother the baby; just make it so they have to delatch) or not being able to nurse due to hamburger nipples. I'm glad you haven't experienced the big chomp yet. Two out of my four have been biters, and this little trick really is worth knowing. But I get how it sounds harsh if you haven't been there.


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## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Honestly, when your little guy chomps down on your boob and there's no way out without nipple trauma, you might be happy you heard about this trick. It's a lot less negative than screaming or flicking or pulling the baby's hair (all of which I have heard of and all of which are awful) or causing a nursing strike by your reaction (you don't smother the baby; just make it so they have to delatch) or not being able to nurse due to hamburger nipples. I'm glad you haven't experienced the big chomp yet. Two out of my four have been biters, and this little trick really is worth knowing. But I get how it sounds harsh if you haven't been there.

I get what you mean, now. It's not a training method to get them to stop biting ever (like the pp described), it's just a method of getting them un-latched. That is very understandable.

I really think the PP described it as a way to train the baby. _"I taught ds not to bite by pushing my breast into his face to suffocate him... It took three weeks of repetition."_ That is a completely different line of thought and I still think it's wrong.

Pulling them in to get them unlatched though, that's a trick I'm glad I now know!


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