# I am so angry at him.. I need to vent...



## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

So we're going on 13.5 months of crappy sleep here. Sure, we get a "good" night maybe twice a week.. where we get one or two 2-3 hour stretches, and then hourly stretches after that.. sometimes I get to sleep in past 6.. but most nights it is hourly waking with a couple 15 minute stretches and lately his new thing is to stay awake for 2+ hours in the middle of the night... oh, and then there's the all night nursing marathons, where he wants to stay latched all night, all the while pinching, scratching, and twiddling to the point where I am in pain and just want to throw him across the room.

Last night was probably one of the worst nights we've had yet. Of course, DH is out of town for work so it was just me... Thought it would be a good night, though, he went down around 7:30 without a fight and slept straight until 10:00 when I went to bed.... Well of course it took me forever to fall asleep, and by his next waking at 11, I was almost there. Nursed him back to sleep.. and then the *fun* began. From 11-2 he woke up every 5-10 minutes.. tossing and turning and wanting to nurse.. my poor nipples were so sore and I was so tired I just wanted to SLEEP... no such luck. Then I had to pee.... I tried several times to get out of the bed without waking him, but no luck. Finally at 2:30 I got up, and he stood up and started laughing, so I just grabbed him and took him to the bathroom with me. When we got back into bed after I used the bathroom, he stayed awake, tossing and turning and fussing and nursing and playing until 4 AM!! Then I finally got to go to sleep... Of course he was up hourly from 4-7 and then up for good. So I got 3 hours of broken sleep last night. I felt like I was being tortured all night.. I just kept praying that he would fall asleep... I was so TIRED. I have no reserves to get me through nights like that. You would think after 13 months sleep would have gotten a LITTLE better.. but no. I can't keep going on like this. I am not a good person today. I am so angry at Liam, even though I know he can't help it.. I suspect it is from his molar that is working its way up..... If I had a crib or pack-n-play set up I would've let him CIO last night. And I hate to say that.. but like I said.. I felt like I was being tortured.

I guess I just needed to vent.. all my other mom friends have babes who STTN, or are good sleepers anyway, and have let them CIO from a young age so they probably all just think his crappy sleep is due to my crappy parenting.

Luckily, DH is coming home today, and has agreed to taking DS for a couple hours tonight and tomorrow night and letting me sleep.


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## Rowansmama (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm a firm believer in cosleeping IF it's what's best for all involved. It sounds like neither of you are getting enough sleep with the current situation.

Once DD started being more active at night, rolling, tossing, etc, we transitioned her to her crib. This was probably around 7 or 8 months. Cosleeping just didn't work for us past this point. Oh, there are a few nights when she still comes in with us if she's sick, and she always comes in for cuddles in the morning. But once she started sleeping in her own space, we ALL got enough sleep. She was awake a lot less at night because there was no one to interact with, and we didn't keep each other awake with our tossing and turning.

It's probably also a good time to cut back on the night nursings. Since he's nursing so often you know it's not hunger. It's okay for you to cut back.

I guess you need to assess what's more important - continued cosleeping or getting a good night's sleep. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you. Good luck!


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rowansmama* 
I'm a firm believer in cosleeping IF it's what's best for all involved. It sounds like neither of you are getting enough sleep with the current situation.

Once DD started being more active at night, rolling, tossing, etc, we transitioned her to her crib. This was probably around 7 or 8 months. Cosleeping just didn't work for us past this point. Oh, there are a few nights when she still comes in with us if she's sick, and she always comes in for cuddles in the morning. But once she started sleeping in her own space, we ALL got enough sleep. She was awake a lot less at night because there was no one to interact with, and we didn't keep each other awake with our tossing and turning.

It's probably also a good time to cut back on the night nursings. Since he's nursing so often you know it's not hunger. It's okay for you to cut back.

I guess you need to assess what's more important - continued cosleeping or getting a good night's sleep. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you. Good luck!

Honestly I never wanted to cosleep... But of course when he was new I couldn't be away from him.. he did sleep in a bassinett for part of the night.. but when he outgrew that and was still waking every hour, I couldn't put him in a crib and get up 10+ times a night.

The only reason we still cosleep, is because he is still waking so frequently at night and it's the only way I get any sleep... And I nurse when he wakes up cuz it is the easiest way to get him back to sleep. Oh, and he is an extremely light sleeper, so it isn't like I could get him to sleep and then transfer him.. He doesn't transfer, period.







I don't feel like getting up out of bed 5-10 times a night will make things any better.







I think we will see how the next 2 nights go with DH taking over part, and if it goes ok maybe try nightweaning...... I don't mind nursing at night, if it was _only_ every 2-3 hours but this is getting rediculous.


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## Louisep (May 1, 2009)

Big hugs to you mama. I often read your posts and think you're doing an amazing job and wonder how you keep it together - because I'm in a similar situation and I mostly feel like I'm losing it!

I was about to post on how I think the Sears' phrase "if you resent it, change it" is useless for us. Cosleeping and nursing all night long is the only chance we have for any sleep. But boy do I resent it some nights. I was up with you last night and nothing worked until he screamed himself (in my arms) to sleep. I think he's working on molars too.

All I can say is grab every chance this weekend to sleep and try to replenish those reserves. It IS going to get better and you're being a great mother. Hang in there.

Hugs


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## yentroc (Jul 22, 2005)

I just had to post a reply... my dd was a very similar sleeper. She just couldn't sleep next to me without being awakened by my very presence but wouldn't sleep in a crib either. Our solution was a futon on the floor next to my bed (which I put on the floor). Once she got used to it she starting sleeping in consistent 3 hour stretches. (3 hrs felt like an entire night's sleep to me at the time!). I would roll off my bed and nurse her when she woke and then roll back into my bed to sleep. I don't know if something like that would work for you guys. I started when dd was 8 months old and was really adamant about her not climbing in bed with me... pretty soon she just realized that it was her space. When she got to be your ds's age, and walking, etc. we put a gate at the end of the bed that was attached to the wall so she couldn't escape. Worked for us.

The next step was nightweaning which I did at 20 months. It was a rough few nights but once she realized we were not going to nurse she slept 5 hrs one night and then all the way through the night the next!!! We played lots of games during the day about nighttime (her turning off light switches and saying "night night" to everyone, including mommy's boobies). I think she was old enough to grasp that concept on some level.

Now she is a 4.5 yr old who wakes up at night for a drink of water and goes right back to sleep with no help other than a hand holding sometimes. It's amazing. I never thought I would say it, but she's a FABULOUS sleeper now.

Hang in there, it's soooo hard but it will get better.


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## Nillarilla (Nov 20, 2007)

My dd seems to have a similar temperament to your ds but she's only 7.5mo. I really don't think I can handle it for another 5 mos so I am changing things now. Here is my suggestion because it seems to be working for dd and definitely worked for my ds (different type of babe though).
1. Get a few nights of sleep in with dh taking ds so you have some reserve.
2. Find a space to put ds that's not in your bed but still in your room.
3. Start at night laying him down on his bed and reading him a story or singing him a song if he doesn't have the attention span for a story.
4. Nurse him but pop him off before he's sleeping. He may cry but really you are there and this is not detrimental to him.
5. Keep laying him back down and patting and rubbing his back. If he's getting terribly upset pick him up and soothe him (without the boob). Then once he's soothed put him back down and try again. It's going to be rough for a couple nights but if you are willing to night wean or nurse him when you come to bed and then no more until morning it probably will go better.
6. Get him a blankie or lovey and introduce when you are nursing and when you are cuddling before bed. Make sure it is present whenever he goes down for a sleep.
He needs to LEARN a different way to fall asleep. It's not CIO if you are there with him. He probably needs more sleep than he is getting because he can't fall asleep without your boob and like you mentioned is a light sleeper and your moving probably wakes him. He is going to cry and get angry but you just need to validate his feelings and be consistent. Hugs to you.
I always say go with what works and feels right. Your posts make it sound like it neither works nor feels right.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I agree that any sleeping arrangements should work for everyone involved or changed. This seems like its workng for no one. Even if you have tried other options in the past, it might be time to try things again. With babies, even a month or two can completely change the reaction to something. Their worlds change so fast!

Have you tried partial co-sleeping? This worked really well for us. Each child started the night in their own bed, and then came into ours as needed. You may find that the early burst of sleep is longer if you aren't there to wake him up each time you move. But then once he does start waking up frequently you can keep him with you so you aren't getting up and down so many times.


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## Birdie B. (Jan 14, 2008)

I've read several of your posts about your son, and I just want to give you a hug! I don't have much advice, just sympathy. I know how awful it feels to get a couple hours of broken sleep at night. I hope you can find something that works for your famiy.


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## TinyMama (Sep 4, 2007)

I think the hardest thing about making nighttime changes is that you have to have enough sleep to implement them, and it's hard to have enough sleep when you haven't implemented them.

Around 13 mos I made a commitment to not allow those all-night nursings, except when DD was sick. They made me SO ANGRY. DD was not pleased, and sometimes we got no sleep. But I wasn't as angry, and for me that was worse than sleep deprivation.


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## Amber Lion (Sep 22, 2006)

Many, many







Mama! I was up with you last night too, complete with all the anger (only I managed to vent it all on Dh instead of DD at the time). I honestly love co-sleeping and snuggling with her and I feel like it's the only way I get ANY sleep at all.... but we're both getting so little sleep it also sucks. No solutions here, just want you to know you aren't alone!


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## tessie (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nillarilla* 
My dd seems to have a similar temperament to your ds but she's only 7.5mo. I really don't think I can handle it for another 5 mos so I am changing things now. Here is my suggestion because it seems to be working for dd and definitely worked for my ds (different type of babe though).
1. Get a few nights of sleep in with dh taking ds so you have some reserve.
2. Find a space to put ds that's not in your bed but still in your room.
3. Start at night laying him down on his bed and reading him a story or singing him a song if he doesn't have the attention span for a story.
4. Nurse him but pop him off before he's sleeping. He may cry but really you are there and this is not detrimental to him.
5. Keep laying him back down and patting and rubbing his back. If he's getting terribly upset pick him up and soothe him (without the boob). Then once he's soothed put him back down and try again. It's going to be rough for a couple nights but if you are willing to night wean or nurse him when you come to bed and then no more until morning it probably will go better.
6. Get him a blankie or lovey and introduce when you are nursing and when you are cuddling before bed. Make sure it is present whenever he goes down for a sleep.
He needs to LEARN a different way to fall asleep. It's not CIO if you are there with him. He probably needs more sleep than he is getting because he can't fall asleep without your boob and like you mentioned is a light sleeper and your moving probably wakes him. He is going to cry and get angry but you just need to validate his feelings and be consistent. Hugs to you.
I always say go with what works and feels right. Your posts make it sound like it neither works nor feels right.

I think there are some excellent ideas here. Hope it all goes well. Although I don't suppose it can get much worse!


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## tessie (Dec 6, 2006)

How are things?


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Well, funny thing.. I felt in his mouth and not only was he working on his second molar, but his THIRD AND FOURTH as well... Poor guy.







So I've been giving him a little motrin before bed the past couple nights, and he has done much better.







Saturday we had a wonderful, relaxing day as a family..









Kinda sucks that he is getting all 3 at once, but that means it will be over sooner, and hoping for better sleep once they are all in!


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## paulamc (Jun 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
Kinda sucks that he is getting all 3 at once, but that means it will be over sooner, and hoping for better sleep once they are all in!









Glad things are better!!! And good luck - I look forward to hearing how things go once the molars are all in. DS's just got the one molar now, so we have much to look forward to (not that things are great now - they aren't, unfortunately).


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nillarilla* 
My dd seems to have a similar temperament to your ds but she's only 7.5mo. I really don't think I can handle it for another 5 mos so I am changing things now. Here is my suggestion because it seems to be working for dd and definitely worked for my ds (different type of babe though).
1. Get a few nights of sleep in with dh taking ds so you have some reserve.
2. Find a space to put ds that's not in your bed but still in your room.
3. Start at night laying him down on his bed and reading him a story or singing him a song if he doesn't have the attention span for a story.
4. Nurse him but pop him off before he's sleeping. He may cry but really you are there and this is not detrimental to him.
5. Keep laying him back down and patting and rubbing his back. If he's getting terribly upset pick him up and soothe him (without the boob). Then once he's soothed put him back down and try again. It's going to be rough for a couple nights but if you are willing to night wean or nurse him when you come to bed and then no more until morning it probably will go better.
6. Get him a blankie or lovey and introduce when you are nursing and when you are cuddling before bed. Make sure it is present whenever he goes down for a sleep.
He needs to LEARN a different way to fall asleep. It's not CIO if you are there with him. He probably needs more sleep than he is getting because he can't fall asleep without your boob and like you mentioned is a light sleeper and your moving probably wakes him. He is going to cry and get angry but you just need to validate his feelings and be consistent. Hugs to you.
I always say go with what works and feels right. Your posts make it sound like it neither works nor feels right.

This is good advice. I am of the mind that at the 1 year mark, night weaning is on the table although I am sure there are other opinions out there. However, if the situation is consistently past all tolerance, perhaps it is time to night wean.










Good luck momma. They do eventually sleep. Sleep is a learned skill. One some kids aren't so quick to pick up.









V


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

We had a bad night a few days ago - Lincoln was up every single hour from 9pm to 5am. It was awful







Only its not b/c he's teething, its b/c he hates the bottle and I'm at school all day.

I hope that once Liam's teeth are in he starts sleeping better, and you all start doing better!


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## MorgnsGrl (Dec 14, 2001)

Oh, I have so much sympathy. I've been there and it is a miserable, terrible existence. *Hugs*


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

What about giving him a bottle before bed? You could pump and he could get a couple a night? It might help.

My LO slept through the night since 3 months. It is sheer hell getting him to sleep, but once he is down, he is down. I do have to be next to him though. I think it was because he was bottle fed instead of nursed (not by my choice of course).


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
What about giving him a bottle before bed? You could pump and he could get a couple a night? It might help.

.

I'm not sure how a bottle will help? He won't take one anyway.. well, never has.. and it is a pain to pump, Lol. In the night when he wakes up, I think he is looking to the boob for comfort more than because he is hungry or thirsty anyway...


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
I'm not sure how a bottle will help? He won't take one anyway.. well, never has.. and it is a pain to pump, Lol. In the night when he wakes up, I think he is looking to the boob for comfort more than because he is hungry or thirsty anyway...

Try a dream feed instead. Before _you_ go to bed, nurse the baby. Usually they sleep through it but tank up for a longer sleep cycle. You can sometimes get 5 hours with a dreamfeed.

V


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## littlehoneybee (Jun 20, 2005)

Will your little one take a pacifier? At least your nipples would get a break then. I know what you're going through. My son was a horrible sleeper until he was 2 1/2. He slept all the way through the night after night weaning. I had been reluctant to do it because that was my only way to get him back to sleep. It took three or four nights of just offering the sippy cup with water. Of course, once I got him sttn, I was pregnant with dd. She's a year now and I'm definitely thinking about night weaning. No way am I going to wait as long as I did with ds. I'm going on six years with no sleep and enough is enough.


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## chann96 (May 13, 2004)

I strongly suggest trying Hyland's teething tablets.My daughter was not quite as bad as your son, but she woke every 1.5-2 hours until she was about 18 months. It was at that point that I suddenly decided to give her the teething tablets right before bedtime. It was like night and day (LOL literally). She slept about 6 hours that very first night and never went back to her previous pattern. I felt like a new person. Looking back I realized her teeth had been bothering her all along.

Another suggestion I have found helpful is to give a small, high-protein snack just before bed. My 22 month old still nurses to sleep, but I still most nights give both kids a snack before bed. That protein keeps their blood sugar steady over night so they don't get hungry and wake up. A piece of cheese, some hummus, or a little bit of chicken (if he's eating that) are quick snacks.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Violet2* 
Try a dream feed instead. Before _you_ go to bed, nurse the baby. Usually they sleep through it but tank up for a longer sleep cycle. You can sometimes get 5 hours with a dreamfeed.

V











sorry, just had to laugh at this.. this boy doesn't sleep through ANYTHING.. I usually wake him up (unintentionally) when I come to bed at night and he nurses then.. Also had to laugh because we have gotten one 5 hour stretch.. EVER.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chann96* 
I strongly suggest trying Hyland's teething tablets.My daughter was not quite as bad as your son, but she woke every 1.5-2 hours until she was about 18 months. It was at that point that I suddenly decided to give her the teething tablets right before bedtime. It was like night and day (LOL literally). She slept about 6 hours that very first night and never went back to her previous pattern. I felt like a new person. Looking back I realized her teeth had been bothering her all along.

Another suggestion I have found helpful is to give a small, high-protein snack just before bed. My 22 month old still nurses to sleep, but I still most nights give both kids a snack before bed. That protein keeps their blood sugar steady over night so they don't get hungry and wake up. A piece of cheese, some hummus, or a little bit of chicken (if he's eating that) are quick snacks.


We've tried teething tablets (still use them) and they don't let him sleep any longer, but they do help him calm down and fight sleep less.

That is a great idea about the protein snack, I will try that! He isn't much on solids yet, but he does like cheese!


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littlehoneybee* 
Will your little one take a pacifier? At least your nipples would get a break then. I know what you're going through. My son was a horrible sleeper until he was 2 1/2. He slept all the way through the night after night weaning. I had been reluctant to do it because that was my only way to get him back to sleep. It took three or four nights of just offering the sippy cup with water. Of course, once I got him sttn, I was pregnant with dd. She's a year now and I'm definitely thinking about night weaning. No way am I going to wait as long as I did with ds. I'm going on six years with no sleep and enough is enough.

Nope, never took a paci.









Most nights I can tolerate the nursing, but it has just been worse the past couple weeks cuz we were all sick 2 weeks ago and Liam seems to be holding on to some chest congestion, and with the molars coming.....


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

I just had a thought. Perhaps its something you have already tried, but humor me.

You said he wakes up as soon as you get into bed with him. What if you DIDN'T get into bed with him? Do you have an air mattress or something you can put on the floor next to your bed? So when you are ready to go to sleep, you can be near him, but not disturb him? This is just something I want you to himmm over, to see if the argument, that perhaps he needs his own space to sleep, holds water. If he goes a decent stretch with out you in bed, then perhaps it is something to think about?


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
I just had a thought. Perhaps its something you have already tried, but humor me.

You said he wakes up as soon as you get into bed with him. What if you DIDN'T get into bed with him? Do you have an air mattress or something you can put on the floor next to your bed? So when you are ready to go to sleep, you can be near him, but not disturb him? This is just something I want you to himmm over, to see if the argument, that perhaps he needs his own space to sleep, holds water. If he goes a decent stretch with out you in bed, then perhaps it is something to think about?

this is a thought.. but we don't have another space for DH and I to sleep. Liam has his own twin bed in his own room, but with the gaurdrail on it it is a pain for me to get in and out of. Once he starts sleeping longer stretches I would like him to start the night out there. However, as of now, between the time he goes to bed (between 7-8) and the time I go to bed (between 9:30-10) he usually wakes 1-2 times.. so he is still waking frequently in his own space.


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## Louisep (May 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
I just had a thought. Perhaps its something you have already tried, but humor me.

You said he wakes up as soon as you get into bed with him. What if you DIDN'T get into bed with him? Do you have an air mattress or something you can put on the floor next to your bed? So when you are ready to go to sleep, you can be near him, but not disturb him? This is just something I want you to himmm over, to see if the argument, that perhaps he needs his own space to sleep, holds water. If he goes a decent stretch with out you in bed, then perhaps it is something to think about?

I recently tried this and it was worse than ever! I guess he really does need me to sleep at all.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Louisep, your little guy is a bit smaller, so he still may turn around. My little guy didnt really start to have different sleeping patterns until about 9 months.

Lady, I am fresh out of ideas for you. That was the last one I had.







I wish I could come over and give you a full nights rest. But I bet you would be up every hour wondering how your little guy was doing.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 

Lady, I am fresh out of ideas for you. That was the last one I had.







I wish I could come over and give you a full nights rest. But I bet you would be up every hour wondering how your little guy was doing.

Thank you, that is so sweet.









I would probably still wake up.. I wouldn't know what to do! Haha. DH has offered to take him on the weekends a couple nights, or half the night, but our house is so small and I will hear him cry and I will probably sleep worse without him beside me.









My MIL has offered to watch him overnight one night.. I think we are going to have an overnight trip for DH's birthday early December. Liam loves his grandparents and has gone to sleep for them several times so I think he will do ok..







:


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## paulamc (Jun 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
this is a thought.. but we don't have another space for DH and I to sleep. Liam has his own twin bed in his own room, but with the gaurdrail on it it is a pain for me to get in and out of. Once he starts sleeping longer stretches I would like him to start the night out there. However, as of now, between the time he goes to bed (between 7-8) and the time I go to bed (between 9:30-10) he usually wakes 1-2 times.. so he is still waking frequently in his own space.

We got a latex mattress a few months ago, from Ikea so it wasn't too, too expensive. It's super comfortable, and yet DS's side of the bed doesn't move a bit when I get in and out or shift around. I do believe it's reduced the wakings a little. At least I can get in and out of bed without waking him, whereas I used to always wake him when I went to bed or got up to go to the bathroom. Another problem is that we share a comforter. If I tug on the comforter, he wakes up. I'm trying to remember to give him his own blanket and keep the comforter for myself, so this doesn't happen. It's definitely no cure-all for us (he still wakes numerous times at night) but I'm a lot more comfortable when I can move about and get in and out as I wish without fearing a wake-up. Still have to be careful of course, as he's usually quite close to me, but still, it's a help.


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## tessie (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
Liam loves his grandparents and has gone to sleep for them several times so I think he will do ok..







:

That sounds as though he _can_ sleep better but he knows he doesn't need to when mama is around. Honestly, I would let your husband take over for a week or so (at least for part of the night, you don't have to night wean fully unless you want to) and see how things go. As PP said sleep is an acquired skill and some babies need a bit of help acquiring it.

But I'd leave it until the teething is over and done with. (It's just taken me 15 mins to write this as I had to go and settle little miss grumpy teethy chops so I sympathise.)


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessie* 
That sounds as though he _can_ sleep better but he knows he doesn't need to when mama is around. Honestly, I would let your husband take over for a week or so (at least for part of the night, you don't have to night wean fully unless you want to) and see how things go. As PP said sleep is an acquired skill and some babies need a bit of help acquiring it.

But I'd leave it until the teething is over and done with. (It's just taken me 15 mins to write this as I had to go and settle little miss grumpy teethy chops so I sympathise.)

yes he goes to sleep initially easier for others. it is when he wakes up and mama is not there that i am scared of. but i think i deserve one night, and he will be with grandparents who love him and will comfort him.

he does freak out in the middle of the night if DH tries to settle him. but usually goes back to sleep very easily for me. go figure.


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## Louisep (May 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
he does freak out in the middle of the night if DH tries to settle him. but usually goes back to sleep very easily for me. go figure.

Same, it's like our DS has no idea who my DH is in the middle of the night!


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## AirMiami (Feb 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nillarilla* 
My dd seems to have a similar temperament to your ds but she's only 7.5mo. I really don't think I can handle it for another 5 mos so I am changing things now. Here is my suggestion because it seems to be working for dd and definitely worked for my ds (different type of babe though).
1. Get a few nights of sleep in with dh taking ds so you have some reserve.
2. Find a space to put ds that's not in your bed but still in your room.
3. Start at night laying him down on his bed and reading him a story or singing him a song if he doesn't have the attention span for a story.
4. Nurse him but pop him off before he's sleeping. He may cry but really you are there and this is not detrimental to him.
5. Keep laying him back down and patting and rubbing his back. If he's getting terribly upset pick him up and soothe him (without the boob). Then once he's soothed put him back down and try again. It's going to be rough for a couple nights but if you are willing to night wean or nurse him when you come to bed and then no more until morning it probably will go better.
6. Get him a blankie or lovey and introduce when you are nursing and when you are cuddling before bed. Make sure it is present whenever he goes down for a sleep.
He needs to LEARN a different way to fall asleep. It's not CIO if you are there with him. He probably needs more sleep than he is getting because he can't fall asleep without your boob and like you mentioned is a light sleeper and your moving probably wakes him. He is going to cry and get angry but you just need to validate his feelings and be consistent. Hugs to you.
I always say go with what works and feels right. Your posts make it sound like it neither works nor feels right.

I have to say that this is all fantastic advice and I'm going to try all of it. Mine doesn't really need to nurse to initially fall asleep for the night, but she wants to get up constantly all night long to nurse and I can't take it anymore.


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## coleybug (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
yes he goes to sleep initially easier for others. it is when he wakes up and mama is not there that i am scared of. but i think i deserve one night, and he will be with grandparents who love him and will comfort him.

he does freak out in the middle of the night if DH tries to settle him. but usually goes back to sleep very easily for me. go figure.


Don't worry too much...DH & I went to a wedding overnight 6 weeks ago (DS was just 10 months) and I was wringing my hands for weeks about it, even cried as we drove away...BUT he slept 2 THREE hour chunks for my mom. That's when I think I realized that I could do something about all of this. I used that night as a sort of "spring board" for putting him in his crib each night. It was rough at first, there were nights when he woke up the second his body hit the crib, but little by little it got better. 6 weeks later we are at the point where he goes down in his crib (nursed to sleep of course) for about 2+ hours every night. It's WONDERFUL!







I actually have time for my older DS and even a small bit of time for me! I even read a magazine in my bed one night...I haven't done that in a year!


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