# Snappy Comebacks for Family Gatherings



## snt88 (May 9, 2007)

So...the family gathering looms. As it is 5:20 am and I've been up with dd for an hour already, I don't think I'm going to be looking too healthy and happy today, making it hard to avoid the "how's she sleeping?" question.

What would you say to your father's "Well, time to let her scream for a while!" Last time I just said "no, it's not," and walked away. But I'm wondering if anyone else has some better material!

Oh, and I need to be able to say it in front of my grandmother, cousins, and other family members who would not be so rude as too offer totally unsolicited (and bad!) parenting advice.


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## babymaggie (Nov 11, 2007)

I know how you feel! I don't have a very snappy way to say it, but I'd say something along the lines of how would your father feel if you let him scream if, God forbid, something happens to him to make him unable to express himself in a clear way (stroke, etc). I just don't get how people can let a baby scream when they wouldn't dare do the same to an adult. Are people nuts or what?







:
HTH

Emily


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

I like to stick to "Nope, it's never time to teach a child that their parent's don't care enough to come and get them." But you may find that a little too rude. (It has to be rude to get my father's attention)


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Twinklefae* 
I like to stick to "Nope, it's never time to teach a child that their parent's don't care enough to come and get them." But you may find that a little too rude. (It has to be rude to get my father's attention)

In no way, shape, or form is that rude. What IS rude is suggesting someone neglect their child's needs.


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

So, correct me if I"m wrong, but you are looking for snappy comebacks to the "how's she sleeping?" question?

Say "oh wonderful", and walk away.

In my opinion, what's going on in your bedroom is absolutely nobody's business, including family. But that's just me.







:


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## TinyMama (Sep 4, 2007)

I agree w/pp--say she's sleeping fine, but YOU had trouble sleeping last night/"I woke up so early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep!" It's true, too.









In repsonse to CIO suggestions, I say, "DH and I are philosophically opposed to sleep training."


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

I always go with the "I don't like to sleep alone so why should a helpless baby?" but then people think you are doing it for your pleasure and get all freaky sometimes - I just look at them strange like that thought has NEVER crossed my mind.

I also go with the 'well, the modern idea of locking a child away from their parents to sleep alone coincides with an increase in SIDS in modern society - I'm just not willing to risk that, are you?"

Or the "it's been shown to reduce SIDS as long as I'm not morbidly obese, drunk or on drugs and honestly, I don't have time to pick up any drugs today so we are good"

Or you could drink a lot of Mtn. Dew and act REALLY well rested, only I don't think it would be good to bombard your breastmilk with that much caffeine for dd.


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## frogautumn (May 24, 2007)

If anyone offers any CIO or "too much holding spoils baby" theories, we just say, "We don't believe in that." Not rude, just matter-of-fact. Period, end of story. If anyone wants to argue (my grandfather loves to argue just for the sake of arguing), I just walk away. Again, not with the intent of being rude, just not interested in getting into it.

You're doing the right thing--you don't need to defend yourself or stress over how other people are going to take it.

Happy Thanksgiving


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## conflictedmama (Aug 5, 2004)

I used to say that we'd tried it and that it "didn't work for us," and that everybody's different.


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## etoilech (Mar 25, 2004)

"Our parenting decisions are not up for debate."? End of subject.


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## althara (Jan 21, 2007)

In response to "How's she sleeping?" I would say "Like a baby." Let them take what they will from that statement.


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

I'm not into snappy comebacks, really. If someone is truly interested, I'll talk as long as they want to about my philosophies. If they're just being jerks, I'd keep information to myself ("Like a baby" is a great answer).


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617* 
In my opinion, what's going on in your bedroom is absolutely nobody's business, including family. But that's just me.







:

...And me!







:


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## Mihelinka (Nov 2, 2004)

no snappy remarks, just sympathy & hugs..


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## MommytoHHH (Sep 12, 2006)

My family makes jokes about how my DD is going to be in our bed when she's going off to college, or getting married







: I don't know whether to laugh at the absurdity or argue with them. She's just 13 months - she's not going to understand sleeping alone, and I'd be exhausted from getting up 4 times a night for her to nurse. I don't have a snappy comeback, but I just try to remember that I know I'm doing what's right for my DD and try not to let them get to me.


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

'She sleeps like a baby' *smirk*
'I'll remember that when your old and in your bed and need me to come help you'
'Oh I could never do something so neglectful'
'Everyone wakes a couple times at night'
'I didn't have a baby to neglect them'
'I want her to know I will ALWAYS be there for her'


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawncayden* 
'I'll remember that when your old and in your bed and need me to come help you'


I really like that one!


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## savienu (May 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *althara* 
In response to "How's she sleeping?" I would say "Like a baby." Let them take what they will from that statement.









I like that one. I'm stealing that!


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## Shaki (Mar 15, 2006)

Now that my DD is almost two we get these kinds of questions a lot less. I think the furor of the sleeping questions and opinions really calms down when your LO moves into toddlerhood. So try to remember that in a year or so you'll be fielding this question a lot less.

Also I think the less defensive and more self assured you are about the choices you're making the more comfortable those around you will be. Just be careful about lapsing into sounding judgemental or self-righteous yourself-- cause that makes people want to pick a fight







!

Over time I've found a gentle response like smiling and saying "co-sleeping (or cding, or extended nursing, or whatever it is) may not work for every family but it's been great for us," works well. Generally after I've said something like that the conversation moves on.


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## zeldabee (Aug 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoHHH* 
My family makes jokes about how my DD is going to be in our bed when she's going off to college, or getting married







: I don't know whether to laugh at the absurdity or argue with them.

Ah. I catch flack for cosleeping with my four year old. He has his own bed, but isn't interested in sleeping in it. I say that I'm sure he'll grow out of it...and if he doesn't, he can always go to a local college.


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## JessBB (Apr 10, 2007)

You never know what you might find out about your family . . .
before ds (10 mo) was born, my super-duper mainstream MIL said he should be in his crib in his room from day one. Then she thought his crib in our room was ok, but NOT our bed. Then ok, our bed, but not for long. Finally, she admitted to me that she laid down with DH to get him to sleep until he was 10














! The only sad part is that she stopped b/c a therapist told her she was selfish.

So, maybe your fam might surprise you. And if not, eff 'em







.


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## rockycrop (Jul 31, 2007)

We got it from all sides this week. Both the grandmas were VERY insistent that DD needs to start sleeping in her "own room". She's 5 frickin' months!

I honestly don't get it. Do they think I should get up out of bed and go into another room to feed her several times a night? Or do they actually think I would let her CIO?
No thanks to either of those.

I just kept trying to say that it's easier for both of us.


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snt88* 
So...the family gathering looms. As it is 5:20 am and I've been up with dd for an hour already, I don't think I'm going to be looking too healthy and happy today, making it hard to avoid the "how's she sleeping?" question.

What would you say to your father's "Well, time to let her scream for a while!" Last time I just said "no, it's not," and walked away. But I'm wondering if anyone else has some better material!

Oh, and I need to be able to say it in front of my grandmother, cousins, and other family members who would not be so rude as too offer totally unsolicited (and bad!) parenting advice.

My child has gone through some really horrible non-sleeping weeks. I learned that if I don't want advice, I shouldn't complain - especially to people who have an agenda and are just waiting for any excuse to tell me to toughen up. Put on a little lipstick, paste on that fake smile, and when someone asks how she's sleeping just say, "We're all doing fine" and change the subject.


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