# Goddard preschool "balanced meal"



## lolabelle (Mar 9, 2004)

A brand new Goddard School was just built in our neighborhood and classes started today. A month or so ago, my dh, myself, and my soon to be two year old (in two weeks) toured the school. It is owned by a husband and wife who are novices in the child care industry but, it is a national franchise, it is in our neighborhood, and our son would go to school with other neighborhood children. We toured the school with the husband and really liked what he had to say and when it came time for us to ask questions, I asked about lunch. He said they serve lunch at the school and I brought up that we don't feed ds dairy, pork, redmeat or sweets and asked if he could bring his lunch and he said "yes". A couple of weeks later paid the enrollment fee and received more papers to fill out and bring to the meet the teacher night. In the paper work it had papers for ds's doctor to fill out (we don't vaccinate, so he just wrote see exemption in that section) and other papers with general info and a few places to list allergies and "other" information in which I listed ds's dairy sensitivity (which he use to have as an infant but has outgrown, but we still stay away from dairy as a family) and that we don't eat redmeat, pork, and sugar...meaning sweets.
We went to meet the teacher night and turned in our papers, met the teacher, etc... When speaking with the teacher about the class, she mentioned that all the children eat the same lunch and children are not allowed to bring food in. I expressed my concern about what they served and she said the follow the states regulations for a balanced nutritious lunch...well that doesn't mean anything to me.... and she said they would accommodate ds and the teachers also keep a list of all the childrens allergies handy. I asked if the give out a weekly menu and she said yes, and we could speak to the director about it. On the way out we did speak to the director and she took down all of ds's diet info to put in his file and said that on friday we could pick up the menu for the following week.
We went out of town the next morning and got back a few nights later and had two messages from the school. The first was just a "give me a call" from the owner and the next was again the owner saying she needed to discuss ds's lunch's. I was relieved because I thought it was going to be about his vaccinations...this is my first experience with schools and the exemptions. I called and left a message and got a return call a few hours later from the owner and she went over what I wrote concerning ds's diet no dairy, no pork, no red meat, no sugar...and then she said that they have to serve a balanced lunch by state regulations and she doesn't know if she can accommodate us. I said well, my son is allergic to dairy and surely you have other children who are as well...and she said well yes, that would be the only substitute I could bring in..for the milk. And I said well give me a sample menu and she said today they had chicken nuggets, peas, and peaches...and the peaches have sugar. I said chicken nuggets are okay(but not something ds eats or something I would personally choose, but okay) peas are fine, and peaches are good too and I am not talking about natural sugars found in fruit. And she said that the peaches are packed in a light syrup that has sugar in it. I said that I am more concerned with cookies, cake, and candy and surely they don't serve the children those! She said no, but the next day they are having turkey weiners...I said that is okay (though I only serve ds nitrate nitrite free turkey hotdogs on rare occassions) I just don't want him eating pork hotdogs...The day after that is grilled cheese. I said that would be dairy...oh okay she said, we can only sub that with a turkey or ham sandwich...I told her again that turkey was okay but not ham. She then said they can maybe sub a turkey sandwich one day but can't always guarantee they will have turkey. I said well since we only are going a half day, and leave right after lunch, just don't put the sandwich on the plate. Oh...but they can't do that because the state says they have to serve a balanced lunch. I asked her then what if there was a Jewish child in class who didn't eat pork and she said she asked the regulator that question and it falls in the guidlines of the separation of church and state...so I don't know what that means....do they serve the pork or not?
Anyway, I was about to lose it and asked if there is someone I can talk to about this and she gave me the name and number of this regulator.
I could tell she was nervous about this call and kept stamering and maybe I am a bit paranoid, but I was thinking that they were looking for an excuse to not enroll us because of the vaccination exemption. We are in a very conservative state and even more conservative county...very mainstream...they probably never have heard of an exemption.
I joked with my husband after I turned in the paper work that they probably thought we belong to a really weird religion with all the dietary restrictions and religous vax exemption.
I just can't figure out what the big deal is with two turkey sandwiches a week!! He is only enrolled for two days a week!
I would just say forget this school, but again it is just a few blocks away from my house, he would be going to school with neighborhood children, and he just LOVES other kids and I want to be able to give him that. We have been talking it up to him and he is excited and talking about it to everyone we know. So...is there any recourse? It is a privately owned franchise and they have the right to refuse anyone. Any advice?


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

My first thought was what would they do if a child was vegetarian or vegan? They must have to provide alternative foods for them.

It all sounds odd to me, although my only experience was in the UK, where schools cater to vegetarians and also to people with religious reasons for special diets (within reason), and to allergies. It's just accepted that it is necessary.

Maybe other people here have more insight than me though.


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## PikkuMyy (Mar 26, 2004)

A few thoughts...I was a child with multiple severe allergies - as far as I know, they aren't allowed to refuse him the right to have his own food if he has allergies that would make it impossible to eat the school's food. If I were you, I would have pretended that all of them were allergies from the start. That being said, they can't refuse to enroll him because of his allergies, since you are willing to pack his own lunch. My mother packed mine at every school I went to.

Secondly, allowing Jewish kids to not be forced to eat pork or not have any lunch has NOTHING to do with the separation of church and state. The separation states that PUBLIC schools (which these private preschools are not) are not allowed to do anything that would force religion on students. For example, a regular public school couldn't decide that it wouldn't serve pork to any students because of Jewish law.

It also states that PUBLIC schools may not bar students from exercising their freedom of religion - so a Jewish child could not be forced to eat pork, and would be allowed to bring in his own food, esp. if he kept kosher.

However, since this is a private institution, none of these rules applies. If they wanted to, they could serve all Kosher food as long as it fell into the "balanced nutrition" rules.

They can't refuse to feed your son what he can eat. They can't refuse to feed him. Thus, they must let you bring in your own food for him. Any judge would rule in your favor. Now, if you were trying to make them serve him only foods he could eat, a judge might see that as too troublesome for them. However, you offered to bring in his food and they refused.

TAKE IT TO THE TOP! I'm sure you'll get it resolved. After all, they want your money, and it's even cheaper for them when you bring your own food!


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

GO EMILY!!!! Thank you for that great, educated I might add response...









I agree...my children attend private school. I made a huge stink about the snacks they offer the children there. They NOW have rules and regulations about the snacks that are brought into the school by parents for the children. I also asked last years teacher to make sure that my son gets his "packed" food from home at a certain time due to his blood sugar levels...at first, they were not real excited about it...then they saw what happens when he doesn't get the correct foods at the correct time intervals...enough said...
They since have asked me to come and "teach" a class to the other parents about proper nutrition for their children.
And to think that I was such a pain in their a** for demanding that my children be fed only certain foods and at certain times...









Don't get me started about the vaccinations issue!!!! So far they haven't questioned anything...hopefully they know what is good for them...and they WON'T!!!!


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## Kari_mom (Jun 1, 2003)

Good luck. I have long held reservations about the food served in schools, private or public. I don't have any advice, but I did want to offer a couple of stories.

My sister was the director of a daycare/preschool, and her daughter attended the same daycare. My niece had a milk allergy. She told me that when the state inspector came at lunch time, they were required to serve milk and milk products to EVERY child, even those with allergies, to meet state mandated nutritional guidelines. The inspector thought it was stupid too, but said there was nothing she could do. Not even a note from a physician would excuse the child. They were suppose to do this all the time, but didn't for obvious reasons. The allergic children then had to be carefully watched to be sure they didn't actually ingest the milk/milk products.

Story #2. A friend of mine sent her daughter to a Montessori daycare, all kids brought their own lunches and shared snacks. My friend received a letter from the director that listed deficiencies in her daughter's lunches and stated that if the packed lunches did not meet state guidelines, the center would be required to serve additional foods or be cited. Again, this originated with the state inspector, not the daycare

I bet you can find your state regs online, I looked mine up. Good luck.


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## lolabelle (Mar 9, 2004)

Thankyou for all your advice! I had my DH call and speak to the owner of the daycare yesterday...he tends to be better at these things and not get as worked up and emotional in situations like this. I did send him armed with more questions and printed out your responses...before your response, Kari Mom.

What it really comes down to is what Kari Mom stated. It has nothing really to do with the daycare owners...it is the state. The owner said they would lose their liscense if they did not follow the nutritional guidlines the state sets forth. She pulled out our paper work while on the phone with dh and saw our Doctors paperwork which he had to sign. After our meeting with him I realized I had forgotten to have him write in ds's dairy allergy under that particular section which he had left it blank. Sooo, I wrote in myself that he should not be served dairy or processed white sugar....I didn't think to write in redmeat or pork! I didn't think that would be a problem since I was under the impression ds could bring his lunch! Well, she saw that and said that they would be able to work with those two things...and my husband asked "What if we had a doctors note stating ds could not have redmeat or pork? Would that would solve the problem?" She said "yes". As long as she has a note from his doctor on file, the state could not do anything. So I will be calling his doctor today to see if he will write this note. He is an extremely religious man so I hope he will agree and not feel as if he is being untruthful.

It just irks me that the grilled cheese is easily replaced with a turkey sandwhich, but if a ham sandwhich is served for lunch, the turkey might be harder to come by.

Oh well, I am sure it will work out. I want him to go to school there so bad, I have actually considered just letting him eat whatever the other children are eating since it is just two days a week...but then I have been so conscientious of what I have fed him for his first two years hoping that it will help him develop a healthy nutritious palate. I hate to just mess all that up now.

Kari Mom...where did you find your state guidlines?

Thanks everyone!


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