# Birth/Death Announcement Question



## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

I need your advice. I hate the thank you cards that the funeral home provided as part of our son's funeral service. I just can't bring myself to use them.

So we are going to design our own cards and have them printed. I've been thinking about these for over a month and am trying to decide what to say.

At first, it was going to be just a simple card with our son's footprint on the front with maybe a Bible verse or some other short quote and then blank on the inside so we could write our own notes.

Now I'm considering a combined birth/death announcement. But, I read an etiquette book that says announcements need to be timely and not sent out after the news has been spread by some other means.

The only folks I'm going to send these to are those that I want to thank for their cards, flowers, memorial gifts, etc. I won't be sending them out as a traditional "birth announcement" type thing.

Here is what I'm thinking right now (part of this I borrowed from another family's Website I found while searching birth/death announcements):

Quote:

(Front of the card with his footprint) Our joys are greater, our love is deeper, our lives are fuller, because we shared his moment.

(Inside of card)With grieving, heavy hearts, we announce the birth and death of our baby son, (first name, middle name and last name). He was born on XX/XX/XXXX and died on XX/XX/XXXX. He weighed 9 lbs 14 ozs and was 22 inches long. He was, and still is, much loved and shall live on forever in our hearts.
We know God provided our son's beautiful existence and now provides for us through our grief. We know He shed the first tear.

We so appreciate all your love and support; thank you for your love for us, and our dear baby.
What do you think? I plan to still write a note to each person in addition to what is printed.

What have you done or are you planning to do??? This is so tough.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

Honestly, I think I would have it say

Quote:

(Inside of card)With grieving, heavy hearts, we announce the birth and death of our baby son, Corbin (middle name and last name). He was born on August 15, 2008 and died on August 16, 2008. He weighed 9 lbs 14 ozs and was 22 inches long. He was a perfect, beautiful baby. He is very much loved and shall live on forever in our hearts.

We know God provided our son's beautiful existence and now provides for us through our grief. We know He shed the first tear.

Above the notes, I would have it say in the center Corbin bolded and under in plain text put the meanings.

Then put in the announcement part.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I think it is beautiful just the way it is.

We never did a printed birth/death announcement but I wish we had. We just put a post on our blog for everyone. The idea of printing announcements never entered my head for a long while, I think I was in a state of shock for months afterward.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I think it is a good idea to acknowledge the generosity shown. I like what it says.

I sent thank you notes, hand written to those people who gave food and help during our grieving. We didn't have a funeral so there were not flowers to worry about. After about two months a sent out a typed written note to all my friends and family explaining what happened in great detail. I don't have a blog but I just felt like I needed to tell them everything that happened. In retrospect, I don't think it would have mattered to them but it helped me to know that I sent everyone an explanation and I also sent them a picture of Norah. Looking back on it, I'm sure people probably thought that was morbid but I love my daughter and I wanted people to see her.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I had friends teach me how to 'scrap book' and rubber stamp. first time I have ever (and since) done that and it was to make thank yous. It was really strengthening to have five women friends all around a kitchen table making all those cards with me. I'm so glad I did. It was SO tough, the handwriting part (which I did alone) reliving the funeral again and again but they pop psych people say that's good for us. There are a few important ones that I never got sent out. still thinking about it (like the volunteer fire department who tried to resuscitate Micah.)

I really like what you wrote up. and I think it's completely FINE! you know, the grieving mommy gets to do anything that she wants. there are no rules for grieving as you know.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

Thanks everyone.









I am usually one who can make up my mind quickly and get things done but this just isn't one of those situations. You know what it's like and it SUCKS!

I like the idea of making the cards myself. I may run over to a crafting/scrapbooking store and take a look around.

I like the suggestion of leaving out the cause of Corbin's death. I can include it in the handwritten note to those that I want to share it with and for others - such as professional acquantinces (sp???) I can leave it out.

I'm so glad we have this forum - others who haven't been through it just don't understand (I know they try but before I lost Corbin I had no idea, either).


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## lil_stinkyfeet (Nov 12, 2006)

I LOVE the announcement.. I think it is beautiful...


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

I decided to do a combination birth/death announcement/sympathy acknowledgement. I had them printed at a stationary store last week. It took me FOREVER to work up the courage and to feel strong enough to follow through. One time I walked into the store, there was a hugely pregnant woman picking out her birth annoucement and I couldn't deal. Honestly, our situation (that of grieving mothers) is so out of the ordinary that I don't think it matters if they go out late. No one expects you to be at the top of your etiquette game.

I designed the wording so that the card can serve as both sympathy acknowledgement for those who provided food, flowers and a birth/death announcement for those who did not "do" something for us.

Front of card:
Each new life,
no matter how fragile or brief,
forever changes the world.

We sadly announce
The birth and death
Of our beloved son
Baker Middle Last
On April 3, 2008
7 pounds, 11 ounces
19 1/2 inches

Inside left:
Interment took place
On April 12, 2008
At ****** Cemetery
Followed by memorial services
At First Congregational Church
Town, State

Inside right:
As we cling to the dreams we had for Baker--dreams of any new parent--we cherish the memories of our brief time together, knowing they must now fill a lifetime. We are grateful for your support and understanding as we move forward--always loving, never forgetting.
My name and DH's name

I'm really happy with how they turned out. I'm going to insert a wallet-size photo inside. I haven't sent them yet...that's the next task I'm working up to.

If you want to say something about Corbin's cause of death, it could also be general, like "sadly, he did not survive his journey into this world." This is the wording I submitted to our college alumni magazines. I wanted to acknowlege Baker's life the way that everyone else does in the class notes sections when a new baby is born.

You're right, it is so tough, but it is a way to honor your baby and tell the world about the love you have for your son.


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