# Seriously...again?



## EdenicMomma (Dec 10, 2004)

If you've seen my other posts in the last few days, you will know that I lost ababy girl June 1st of this year at 25 weeks gestation. Her name was Molly. I birthed her naturally 2 days after discovering she had lost her fight. It was incredibly heartbreaking but her birth was beautiful...her sisters held her as we did, and loved her intensely. I have two older healthier girls, 5 and 3. I m/c in bettween the first two at approx 7 weeks. I was spotting for a day, I had an U/S and it was confirmed. I m/c with no pain and only a few days of moderate bleeding. I just found out 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant again. I was so ecxited at first...then I started feeling weepy a lot...and pretending I wasnt overenthused. I was afraid of hurting again. I was afraid to become attached to this baby, but was frightened by how much I loved her already. Today I was thinking how much I needed to send her love, even though I was feeling grief over MOlly.

I have had morning sickness since 5 weeks, yuck. No vomiting really, just feeling nauseated a lot of the time. I was taking sooo much care of myself...I had to give this baby the best start. I am due June 27th, but tonight after feeling a slight heaviness in my bottome, I felt a gush while making dinner. I ran out of the kithcen towards the bathroom and instinctively ut a hand in my pants...I saw blood and ran to the toilet. It was bright red and stained the toilet water pink. about 15 minutes later, I went pee again...darker red this time. I didnt lose my cool...after all I survived birthing a 25 week old baby...this is early I will survive this too. I've only had one small gush since at dinner, no cramps...I'm not sure what will happen now. I know what to do if the bleeding gets heavier, but I still feel nauseated and calm. I guess time will tell soon enough. What am I feeling instinctively? I think, here we go again...but I'm retaining some hope. Dont wnat to give up on it until the verdict rings...Please pray for us tonight...I'm afraid what will ensue emotionally for me If I lose another sweet life....


----------



## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

Mama, you are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.


----------



## ApplePieBaby (Jun 15, 2006)

(((hugs)))


----------



## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Prayers for you.... I lost our twins at 5 1/2 weeks gestation exactly 1 day shy of 13 months after we lost our Ry at 41 weeks. You are in my thoughts and prayers that whatever happens, you have the strength to get through it...


----------



## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)




----------



## sun-shine01 (Aug 9, 2002)

Keeping you in my thoughts.


----------



## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

*tears*
I'm sorry, mama.







I will hold you close to my heart tonight.







s


----------



## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

Thinking of you.


----------



## luv2dnce (Oct 25, 2006)

I am so sorry for the pain you have had to endure. You are in my prayers and I hope everything turns out for the best!


----------



## Gray's Mommy (Jul 8, 2005)

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.


----------



## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

I am so sorry.


----------



## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

I am so sorry.


----------



## EdenicMomma (Dec 10, 2004)

: Well, heres a turn of events I bet none of us were expecting. So I didnt have any bleeding after yesterday...I had my quantitative HCG yesterday so today I went to my Midwife for the results. I was not prepared for what she was about to tell me. My HCG levels are not only healthy for my gestation but almost double...the range for 3-12 weeks gestation are 10,000-100,000. 100,000 being normal for the latter end of the 1st trimester. My levels yesterday at 6 weeks plus 4 days were 104,000. Before she elaborated on all this, she asked if there are any twins in our family..."WHAT?" I looked at her in disbelief...I said "yes, but why does that matter?"...she said we would have to have an ultrasound to confirm what shes thinking, but that possibility is now real...ahhhhhhh!!!! I wnet from thinking she would tell me my baby was probably gone, but now there might be two? The earliest US she had been able to get for me up until taht moment was Dec 1. But after she explained to them the numbers she was seeing they managed to get me in on the 14th of this month...is this some sort of joke? I'm in shock. This freaked me out...HOLY CRAP! Also, my morning sickness started 2 weeks earlier than usual this time, at 5 weeks.

I'm not going to jump to any conclusions but wow! Maybe its just a very well-established pregnancy...who knows! We'll know more when I get my results from my upcoming HCG test on Thursday...if they are going up steadily it means at least one is ok if there were/are two. If it goes down it could mean that I lost a single baby, or that I lost one to a pair...and if they go up, then I will have to wiat until Tuesday to find out if its one single healthy baby or two...this is crazy. *Anyone else have experience with high HCG levels?* Usually I fall at the lower end...my HP tests are always faint...this one was very bright, and I am positive my dates are right.
I guess all there is to say is "stay tuned." You know, this is so like me...I can never just be normal...always soemthing bizarre for me with pregnancy and birth.
*Also, anyone experienced with Twin births*?...this scares me. I want to birth at home dang it.


----------



## Mindi22 (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm so happy that things are turning out differently than you expected. I haven't any experience with twins, so "I don't know what to say in that regard, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad that you didn't have bad news to share. I sit here at the computer and cry reading some of these threads, so a happy event in the mix is a good thing in my book!

Blessings, momma!








-Mindi


----------



## sahmof2girls (Feb 9, 2005)

Any news mamma? Been thinking about you/


----------



## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

Just wanted to write to say how sorry I am about your daughter, Molly. I had lost my son at about the same gestation as your daughter. I'm happy that you got to have a great birthing experience though. How is everything going now? I hope well. Hope to see you around the pregnancy after birth loss board.

Mary


----------

