# Babywearing article with negative comment by psych.



## JessasMilkMama (Oct 24, 2004)

http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/n...690595&k=72832

an excerpt:
But some experts see this as the latest point of competition in the hyper-intensive parenting world, and worry that compelling mothers to keep babies forever attached is just another burden for stressed-out parents.

Maggie Mamen, an Ottawa psychologist, says long-term baby wearing could prevent children from learning to manage their own emotions and understand that they are separate from their mothers, a milestone most babies reach at seven or eight months.

"We need to be able to tolerate some discomfort," says Ms. Mamen, author of the best-selling book, The Pampered Child Syndrome. "If the child grows up with the notion that they should always be comfortable, that they've always got mum and dad to carry them around, that could be harmful to the child.... We are not Hopi Indians. We do not have to carry babies strapped to boards on our backs. It's not part of our lifestyle."


----------



## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

On one hand I agree. If we don't experience discomfort, how can we learn to manage it?

But, I prefer treating my child as an equal, not elevated, member of our family and sometimes her wants must be placed in line with the wants and needs of others in our family. When this happens she might feel discomfort and then must learn patience (or her discomfort will get the best of her).

We wore Kailey for the first 6 months of her life until she decided she would rather move and roll around more than being carried.


----------



## grypx831 (May 22, 2005)

I totally disagree the article and find it suspect that they presented NO FACTS against babywearing.


----------



## townmouse (May 3, 2004)

What if we are Hopi Indians? I'm not, I'm just sayin'. What if babywearing is our lifestyle?

Who is the "we" she refers to when she says "we" are not Hopi Indians, this is not "our" lifestyle.

Is she saying that Hopi Indian babies are harmed by being carried around by mum and dad?

I've worn 4 babies now, over the course of 11 years. I don't think I have to be a Hopi Indian to claim that babywearing is my lifestyle.

What a narrow, narrow viewpoint she has there. Her culture is #1. Ick.


----------



## oregongirlie (Mar 14, 2006)

And discomfort will always find our children, no matter what we do. She's silly.


----------



## townmouse (May 3, 2004)

Oh, that's probably it. She probably didn't research enough and thinks we sling for 18 years and then dump them out of the sling to the wolves.


----------



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Man, that "Hopi Indians" comment is really offensive. Like, what, do Hopi Indian babies not have the same needs as dominant culture babies? Do Hopi Indians just wear their babies because they don't have another choice? Racist crapola there.

Shouldn't be surprised I suppose, after all it is the National Post.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Everyone is missong the point that all Indians are savages, and would only wear their babies because they don't know any better. /sarcasm


----------



## jenrose (Apr 25, 2004)

Like my child never has discomfort or frustration... silly.


----------



## samantha546 (Aug 4, 2005)

I'm just giggling over here in reading the responses!

Obviously babywearing is becoming VERY popular and someone has paid off the media (not surprising) to publish something negative in hopes of scaring us off.


----------



## EmmaJean (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
Everyone is missong the point that all Indians are savages, and would only wear their babies because they don't know any better. /sarcasm

Oh right, I totally forgot!!









ditto everyone else.... there's plenty of time for a child to learn they are separate from the parents, and that usually happens during the second year of life, NOT INFANCY!!!


----------



## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

: she is a moron. there are long term studies that proves quite the opposite.


----------



## junomama (Oct 28, 2006)

Quote:

Obviously . . . someone has paid off the media (not surprising) to publish something negative in hopes of scaring us off.








Oh, I doubt anyone is paying off the media. If anything, this is a reporter writing a "trend" story - and her editor told her to be sure and get one comment from the "other side" of the issue so the article is "balanced" and doesn't come across as a total fluff piece. My guess is she is not very familiar with babywearing or attachment parenting, or she would have fleshed out the benefits of babywearing more. It could have been a better-researched and -written article, and it took a tone that sort of made babywearers seem like novelties in the eyes of the mainstream, but it was mostly positive, I thought.


----------



## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

Yes, I only wear my girls because I have to show I'ma better parent than you.


----------



## Ilana (Mar 14, 2005)

I'm the one featured in the article! I thought that other stuff was just so off the wall but I AM happy about how it was sandwiched between all the positive aspects of babywearing. Sort of gives that "other side" less credence, huh?

ILANA


----------



## saraann (Dec 1, 2006)

that's funny, wearing my baby makes parenting much easier, not harder. That lady has no idea what she's talking about.


----------



## kofduke (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *saraann* 
that's funny, wearing my baby makes parenting much easier, not harder. That lady has no idea what she's talking about.


exactly.


----------



## mommybritt (Nov 19, 2001)

Oh, man, I'm quoted in the article and generally hate the whole thing







It makes no real point, seems to be snide towards babywearing and babywearers and has that ridiculous and offensive quote from that pyschologist.


----------



## vegetalien (May 28, 2005)

I was mentioned in the article too. When she called to interview me we chatted for about half and hour and she seemed to generally want to put the word out about babywearing and particularly she wanted to focus on carrying older children so that parents would realise that it IS possible to babywear past just 3 or 4 months, when alot of people complain that it gets heavy.

The first time I read the article I did sense a snide tone to it, and felt like she was making it sound like we were part of some babywearing cult or something. But when I read it again I thought it wasn't so bad. At least that psychologist sounded like a real piece of work.


----------



## huskermommy (Jun 14, 2006)

That's just stupid... I hate stupid people. I'm so sick of this "Make them independant" BS!!!! I'm sorry but they're still babies! I think of my 2.5yo as a baby still. (Even thu she isn't







)

Wearing your baby DOES make it easier and I was surprised by that fact.

I held Grace all the time, w/out a sling (which btw makes a HUGE diff) and she was the sweetest, lovable, happy baby girl ever. I think it's good for them to be dependant on us. THEY'RE SUPPOSE TO BE! THEY NEED US! They will have plenty of time in their lives to "do it on their own".

Rant Over.


----------



## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

It sounds like something from "What to Expect in the First Year." It's filled with yucky stuff like that. In fact, I think she ripped off that Hopi Indian quote from What to Expect.


----------



## Blue Dragonfly (Jun 19, 2005)

Well it is the national post, and don't-cha-know that women are for looking at, babies are for being-seen-and-not-heard, and good lord, how can you see a woman's breasts properly when she's got a baby in front of them. For heaven's sake girls.


----------



## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

Ergh, what would motivate a person to be so hateful?









ETA: I just read the excerpt from her book on Amazon.com. I'm thinking of checking it out from the library, just to be able to write a scathing review from an AP perspective. Yikes!


----------



## misseks (Jan 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hera* 
Ergh, what would motivate a person to be so hateful?









ETA: I just read the excerpt from her book on Amazon.com. I'm thinking of checking it out from the library, just to be able to write a scathing review from an AP perspective. Yikes!

I like to hide the Doctor Spok book and the Don't Spoil Your Children books at our library.


----------



## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

WTH? I really just don't understand people who believe in forcing babies to be independent.







Maybe they weren't held and cuddled enough as babies so they are just hostile.


----------



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riverscout* 
WTH? I really just don't understand people who believe in forcing babies to be independent.







Maybe they weren't held and cuddled enough as babies so they are just hostile.









That's exactly what it is, IMO.


----------



## Greensleeves (Aug 4, 2004)

They totally miss the point of babywearing. It's not about "pampering" your baby (although, what's wrong with that? sheesh.) It's about so much more.......fostering a bond, keeping a kid safe while you're doing something, keeping them warm, showing them the world from your vantage point.

Why do they have to take something positive and make it into a negative? They can only see it from the viewpoint that children are selfish little manipulators who will control us any way they can.

What a sad way to see the world. Really.


----------



## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

that is basically teh same comment a NP made to me when E was about 6 months old. really classic!

needless to say, our appts. have been w/ the dr. (he's family dr.) since.

yeh, we arent Hopi Indians.no crapola!

i know my baby is HAPPY being worn though. and i get alot more done.


----------



## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

I don't think Rachel would have liked being worn much. But I didn't know about babywearing til she was 4 months olds. I tried her in a sling, and we both ahead it. We both hated her sniggli, and that's pretty much all the options around here.

Rachel did get held lots. For just about every feeding, when we were out, when she got tired of her stroller. (I did a lot of shopping holding her in one arm & pushing the stroller with the other. She al;so liked to go off & explore. As soon as she coudl get around by rolling, she wanted down on the floor all the time. Nver wanterd to just be still & be held. I remember even way before that, She'd be hanging off my lap half upside down while she had her bottle. She didn't like to be held to fall asleep,

Once she was holding her own bottle, she wanted to be held more other times. so she really had always let me know what she needs.

About a month ago, at 18 months, she started getting clingier,and she's been velcrod to me since. I"m getting a mei tai and I hope it helps. I'm getting quite a bit of flack about how she is too big, and it's too hard on my back to have her in it, but what do people think it's does for my back to just carry her on one hip all the time?

I suppose one could wear their baby all the time, and not give the child the time they need to explore, learn to crawl etc. But you can do the same with a exersaucer or bouncy seat or swing or carseat. Or stroller for that matter.


----------

