# What do AP SAHMs do about jury duty?!?



## Breathe (May 18, 2002)

I am trying not to worry about this prematurely, but I have a friend who took her 9 mos old nursling w/her to jury duty this a.m. and was told by the clerk "get that baby out of here before I call DSS" and "if you bring him back you'll be found in contempt of court." She ended up getting her call postponed until Feb., but needless to say, she is freaking out, esp. since she tried to explain her situation to the MORON and was met even more hostility. She plans to go back in a few months w/out her ds and try to get out of there in only a few hours. (What if that doesn't work?!?!?)

What are we supposed to do if we get called? The clerk was very clear that nursing mothers do not get exceptions, so I'm sure there's no way in hell I could say, "he never leaves my side!" And you know they wouldn't be tolerant of a mother nursing a toddler . . . or older. (And let's be honest, I know there are ways around the nursing -- it's really the extended separation I'm talking about.)

Do we have any rights here? Is there anything we can do? Or do we just hide at home and hope we don't get called while the babes are young?!?!

Any experience with this?







:


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

What state is she in?? Some states (Florida) dont have you serve jury duty is you have a child under the age of 1 at home I beleive. Other states if you are bfing wont have you serve jury duty. She might want to contact the LL and they should knows what the laws are for her state.
Sounds to me like that lady she encountered was rather craby! And in desperate need of an education!


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## peggy (Nov 19, 2001)

You may postpone jury duty in MA for up to one year without an excuse..just fill out the form they give you (I was supposed to start jury duty Dec 23rd, and I postponed until next October) That should give me plenty of time to work out arrangements for DD, who is very clingy now, but may be more ready to leave Mama for a short time next year.

Other than that I'm not sure what else you can do.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I just served. My dh is lucky that he has a pretty leniet job. SO he stayed with dd while I went. Wasn't even called.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I see you're in NC. The Clerk of Court is an elected position by county. The person your friend was interacting with was probably the courtroom clerk (an assistant clerk). While it is likely true that an exemption cannot be given for motherhood/nursing in NC, mentioning calling DSS and having her cited for contempt is unprofessional and uncalled for. You may want to call the Clerk of Court and speak to the actual Clerk for your county.

Re: what to do if called for jury duty. Most service is very brief (a day or two). It can be a strain akin to a family crisis or illness, except that you come home at night. Difficult, certainly. For a longer trial, during the interview process you can make the attorneys aware of the fact that it will be difficult for you to concentrate on the case because you care for your little one. (It's no guarantee that you'll be off the jury, of course, but might help clarify your situation for the folks involved.)

You might also want to contact your state Representative and Senator about adding an exemption for nursing mothers performing jury duty.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

In Arizona I got called when I was still pumping milk exclusively for dd. She ws about 4 mos. old. I told the judge I would have a hard time finding and affording childcare first of all, and secondly I would have to be excused every 3 hours or I would start to be uncomfortable and leak. The judge was a woman and did not excuse me. One of the attorneys said he didn't think I would be able to concentrate well enough so I was excused. My dh stayed home with dd for the day.

The next time I was called was when dd was about 11 mos. old and that time I told them I could not afford childcare because we were a single income family and the trial was expected to last 6 weeks! I was not excused. I was mad because another mom was excused and her reason was that she could not miss her teenager's carpool!! Give me a break! But again the attorneys thought it should not be a financial hardship on me and they excused me.

I'm all for doing my civic duty, but that right now means raising my children well. Hopefully if I'm called again I will get excused on the grounds that I sat through the 2.5 week murder trial for the death of my baby brother (the murder was 19 years ago) last month. I never want to step foot in another courtroom if I can help it! Hopefully they will think I'm biased or something. And they would probably be right.

Darshani


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## DiaperDiva (Jun 30, 2002)

In North Carolina you can postpone jury duty as long as you have a young child who does not attend school and you are a stay at home parent. They will however call you every year until you serve.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

DiaperDiva: That's great! Do you know the procedure for getting this "extension?"


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## DiaperDiva (Jun 30, 2002)

they will send you a letter telling you when you are to appear, return it with your postponement reasons. I would call right after receiving the letter and clarify this with the clerk of court.

A friend has a 5 year old and this happened to her.


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## coracle (Jul 18, 2002)

Here in Georgia you do not have to serve if you are primary caregiver to a child under 5. I actually think this makes more sense than just having an exclusion for BF moms. You call the number on the summons form, give them your reason, they mail you a form to fill out, you fill it out and get it notarized (which was free at my bank a couple yrs ago but now costs a few bucks) and send it back. I was summoned almost 3 yrs ago and have not been called again. I don't know if they keep track of what yr ds was born and will automatically summon me when he's 5, or just wait 'til my name comes up again?

-Sue


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

: Isn't it awful?

Dh got downsized last April. He got a new job in June and promptly got a letter for jury duty. He replied to the form stating that he was still in his 'probationary period' and would lose his job if he missed and they never contacted us again. Whew!

My mom homeschooled us and was called for jury duty. I was a young teen (maybe 13?) and my little brother was 6. She had to leave us alone all day. The JUDGE had to bring her home because we had just moved to Indiana and only had one car (dad drove to work).

I'll fight it tooth and nail if they call me. I would just take my breast pump with a battery pack and tell them I had to pump and I could do it in the courtroom or another room, their choice. LOL


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## Breathe (May 18, 2002)

Thanks, Mamas. This is helpful info. DiaperDiva, I'll tell my friend to look into this -- if that rule holds true for all of NC, the little clerk helper (hah!) wasn't aware of it. I would be AMAZED if NC had such a progressive, family-friendly exemption, but wouldn't it be AWESOME if all states did?!?! And I agree 100% about which is a more important civic duty!


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## DiaperDiva (Jun 30, 2002)

NC can surprise you. It sure surprised me with it's breastfeeding legislation!


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Just want to 2nd what chfriend said about contacting the court administration about that *&$#% who said that stuff about DSS ...









- Amy


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

==================


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## kerikadi (Nov 22, 2001)

In Texas you don't have to serve if you stay home and have children under 10! I have been called once, I just had to sign something and fax it back.

Keri


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## Moon (Nov 25, 2001)

I got a jury duty questionaire to fill out and answered all the questions as negatively as I possibly could, along the lines of, "I think all cops are power happy thugs and most laws are both unconstitutional and unnecessary."

I never got called. Go figure.


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

when I was called for jury duty, i called and told them i was breastfeeding, and I was told i would be held in contempt, and if i didnt show a "bench warrant" for my arrest would be issued.

A**holes, its no wonder the judicial systems is the way it is.


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## mamamoo (Apr 29, 2002)

I got called about 1 or 2 years ago, I just sent the letter back saying I was a sahm, I couldn't afford childcare, and I was nursing. I have not been contacted since.


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## HotMama (Oct 26, 2002)

In Oregon we get a form with the jury duty letter and one of the three guaranteed excuses is breastfeeding. I don't remember how long that works. I do know breastfeeding is illegal in courts here







What's that about?


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## Zeppy3 (Mar 3, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Breathe_
*Thanks, Mamas. This is helpful info. DiaperDiva, I'll tell my friend to look into this -- if that rule holds true for all of NC, the little clerk helper (hah!) wasn't aware of it. I would be AMAZED if NC had such a progressive, family-friendly exemption, but wouldn't it be AWESOME if all states did?!?! And I agree 100% about which is a more important civic duty!*
Hi Breathe!
Although the Courts (or "little clerk helpers") may not tell you, there are *20* states that have a provision to excuse/defer from jury duty those who are responsible for the daily care of their young child or dependent family member! Another *10* are considering such legislation.

Go to this link and you will see which states, complete with each one's corresponding statute, have this wonderful, family friendly legislation!
States with Family Friendly Jury Duty laws

I had a very unpleasant experience with jury duty myself. When I asked to be excused because I was a SAHM for my 2 small children, the judge *refused*! When I told him it would be very difficult to make childcare arrangments especially at the last moment, he just dismissed my concerns with a reply of, "Don't you go out to dinner? Don't you get a babysitter for that?!" Finding a babysitter for an evening out at a pre-determined time is nothing compared to finding a (suitable) one at the last minute for a jury duty assignment that may last weeks!

I was so disgusted by this treatment that I've been working on getting Family Friendly Jury Duty legislation in my state (Kentucky) for the past 3 years. It has come *thisclose* to passing each session!!
My Senator I and will be trying again this coming January 2004!

There is a website that has tons of info if you would like to enact family friendly jury duty laws in *your state*. Check out this link:

Why do we need Family Friendly Jury Duty?

In my research, I came across this wonderful quote from a newspaper columnist in NORTH CAROLINA:

..."Under (North Carolina) state law, it's far easier for a 66-year-old golf fanatic to dodge jury duty than a stay-at-home parent with two kids younger than 5. That doesn't seem right...

Excerpts taken from
"Temper Justice with Good Sense" by Ruth Sheehan
November 15, 2001
The News & Observer

I hope things work out OK for your friend. Let me know what happens.

Best,
Zeppy 3


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Thanks for posting that Zeppy!







That makes me feel better, so I know that I won't have to worry about it for a long, long time since I do child-led weaning (IN exempts bf'ing moms who don't work).


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Whenever I got called to juryduty, I would bring the dear children with me, and explain that I had no daycare and could not provide it.

The dear children loved looking at all the big rooms on the way in.

And on the way out (soon after).


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## lucina3 (Jun 25, 2002)

I've never been called... a friend of mine did, they wouldn't excempt her for nursing, so she told them that she already knew the guy was guilty because Ed McMan told her so. They didn't call her again. :LOL


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## Embee (May 3, 2002)

Zeppy3,

Just wanted to thank you SO MUCH for posting that link... I am relieved to find out that my state (WA) is indeed a family friendly jury duty state.

I haven't yet been called but my DH was called recently. This is a HUGE financial hardship for us as if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid. Since going from two to one incomes when my son was born, his paycheck is barely getting us by. Anyway, our county court is willing to work with him--asking him to come for just one day... seeing that work is no longer a viable excuse. And that's what I don't understand. If they are able to excuse me because of financial hardship/primary caregiver, why is not my husband not working (an even greater financial hardship) NOT an excuse. So far, they have worked with us and postphoned the date for him but they won't a second time. I told him to bring in his 1099 for the last two years, tell them how many dependents he has and ask them if they could live on less???? *hmpf*

Here, here on that nasty court clerk Breathe. I am intensely and continually disturbed by the lack of compassion (and common courtesy for that matter!), that goes around these days. It truly makes me sad.









Em


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

In my state (AZ) I was called right after giving birth so they let me put it off for 3 mos.

Right on time I got another notice. I was pumping at the time and told the judge I would have to be excused every couple of hours to pump. I also told her it would be a financial hardship to have to hire a sitter for the trial. It was supposed to be 6-8 weeks long! yikes! She didn't excuse me but excused another mom because she would be missing her son's carpool. Pul-leeze! The lawyer felt sorry for me and excused me because they said I couldn't concentrate on the trial.

Third time I was called I again told them it would be a hardship to hire a sitter. Again I was not excused, nor did they offer to compensate me for the sitter fees. My dh took off work to watch her for that day, and thankfully they decided they didn't need me.

Sorry that doesn't offer much hope. I would just say it's a hardship to afford a sitter and you are breastfeeding, and hopefully they will take pity on you. Also, avoid anything official such as a drivers license, name change, marriage, new SS card, or anything that will put your name into the system. My calls are always after I appy for something like that.

Darshani


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## Breathe (May 18, 2002)

Yes, zeppy3, thanks SO much for that info. I have bookmarked the link and will explore it soon.

My gosh, Embee, I never even THOUGHT about dh losing pay for jury duty!! I suppose he'd have to take sick and vacation leave and hope to get out of it quickly!

In terms of taking your children with you, my friend was told she'd be held in contempt of court if she came back w/her child. (Oh, and they can hold you in contempt also if you act like you're trying to get out of it by saying extreme things -- like, "Well I believe if you've made it this far you MUST be guilty!" Already thought of this and was advised by an atty friend to never try this!)

My friend ended up having to go in after a 6-month wait. She sat thru one day but was never called, thankfully. Her 1 yr old was at home w/his dad for ~7 hrs, the longest she had ever left him.







At least he dh was able to take the day off.

Oy. If only raising your little ones was considered an important civic duty!


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## veganmamma (Sep 10, 2002)

You can say that you can't concentrate on the trial because you'd be so worried about your baby who doesn't take a bottle, or say that you have to pump every 2 hours no matter what. What can they say? It's a health condition. (Not a bad one







) You could have SO or a close friend have baby right outside and have a pager if you need to leave while thye're picking the jury. You can also register as a full time student at an adult school and use it as an exemption. They usually have enough mid-semester courses that you can sign up for and then drop right afterwards and get a refund. Or you can live in a state that will exempt you for such things. I guess I'm jaded cause I live in CA and you can pretty much get excused for anything around here.
Lauren


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## delighted.mama (Jan 29, 2003)

I have some experience as an atty in this. Jury duty is a civic duty that includes everyone....young, old, sick and, yes, nursing mothers. People try to get out of jury duty ALL the time, because, frankly, it is a PITA. Pulling from experience, one woman didn't want to come to the criminal court house because it was "in a bad area" and she came from a very afluent area. Basically, the judge I worked for at the time didn't have a lot of sympathy for her. People from all walks of life get called for jury duty. We al lose time from work, family, obligations. BUT, that being said, it is our duty. We aren't asked to do too much for our justice system....just pay our taxes and stay out of trouble. Yet, we all expect it to work the way it should. Well, here is where the payback comes in!!

We enjoy the benefits of having certain protections in our society, both on a civil and a criminal level. When we sue someone, or when we get mugged, we want to go into a court of law and have an impartial trier of fact help us resolve our issues. IF we want that type of checks and balances in our society, we have to contribute to it in some way. Performing our civic duty is one way. Unless you have a legitimate reason (as it is defined by your state's statute) for being excused from jury duty, you are obligated to go. At most, you will miss out on one day (unless you get picked for jury).

Perhaps you can have someone bring your baby to you during lunch. OR, if you live close by, you could go home during lunch. There is usually a pretty long break in between. Hopefully, however, you won't even be in this position.


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## Breathe (May 18, 2002)

delighted.mama, that'a an articulate explanation of why jury duty is important, and yes, I absolutely agree with you that each person who is called makes some form of sacrifice in order to serve. And I believe that these sacrifices are critical to the health of our nation -- you laid that out well.

IMHO, the point of this discussion, however, is that breastfeeding stay-at-home moms are in a unique situation; one that SHOULD be considered sacred by our culture/government. BF'd babies and toddlers who are at home with their mamas all day (and always have been) cannot "just" be farmed out to a babysitter or alternate caregiver without trauma. There is a significant body of research showing that sudden (and/or extended) separations from primary caregivers can cause great harm for young children (e.g. attachment disorders), and while I doubt that any of this research looked specifically at jury duty (which is "only" 8-5 daily), I can personally extrapolate and attest that MY child would be severely affected if I suddenly had to leave him with someone else for more than one day. (one day would be hard, but dh could probably fill in)

Children who are already in some form of day care or some other care situation have alternate caregivers, so they presumably would be less affected by having their moms/dads gone for a few extra hours/day/weeks. And let's face it, MOST children are in some form of care outside their own home, so the predicament faced by SAHMs is somewhat of a foreign concept to our judges, clerks, attorneys, peers, etc.

I know our courts DO make exceptions for people. So why is it SUCH a stretch to convince our legal system that breastfeeding SAHMs are NEEDED -- more than they are needed in a courtroom, at least for the near future. (and forget the AP persepctive -- the fact that we simply don't LEAVE our children during their formative years -- that would just be totally beyond the comprehension of anyone in this system!) Why don't ALL states see this as an important and legitimate exception, with the understanding that SAHMs can make up their duty when their children are older?

Really, tell me if is there is a situation that is more important than the mental and physical health of a young child. (delighted.mama, this is mostly rhetorial -- I'm not trying to put you on the spot -- you just got me thinking!)







:

Hurumph!


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## YiddisheMama (Dec 23, 2002)

b'h

heard this from a friend, don't recall who. bring along your electric pump, explain how you're going to need 1/2 an hour every two hours in a room by yourself with an outlet to be able to express milk. this kinda thing doesn't work to sit on a case









that's if you're nursing. otherwise...i don't know.

but i don't recall my mom ever having jury duty, though my father did, so perhaps she just got out of it...will ask her if she has any ideas.


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## veganmamma (Sep 10, 2002)

delighted.mama- i agree that jury duty is important. I have actually always wanted to serve on a jury, but I will not be able to for some time. My child does not take a bottle, and even if she did, I have a serious lack of responsible, available people I could leave her with, even for a short time. Would it be my civic duty then, to leave a starving, screaming baby with an inadequate provider so some jerk coud sue a park because he slipped and fell? Please. If I were called and there were no way out, I would have to sue the system and create another court case to clog up the system and make someone miss work. Many people cannot afford to go to jury duty, especially in these times. It makes me sick that people who are able do not go, but those who cannot should not be criticized. Nursing mothers work 24/7 and there's no reason they're civic duty should not be postponed. I don't appreciate the holier than thou attitude. I'm sure most nursing mothers would be glad to serve, but their child's needs come first.
Lauren


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

A similar dilemma:

Dh was sent a letter requesting he fill out a form for jury duty. He had just started a new job that very week (after being unemployed for three months and receiving $0 in unemployment BTW) and if he was called to serve he would lose his job because his probation period lasted 3 months. The form asked if there was any hardship and so he answered truthfully that he would lose his job.








: Dh was at his previous job for 13 years and never called to serve jury duty... the timing was incredibly awful. As a mom, I'll be glad to serve on a jury duty if needed when my children are older. My dh would have served, but did they want to have to pay him unemployment because he got fired?









It's not a matter of shirking your duty, there's usually more to it than that.

In the case of a nursing mother (especially one who doesn't have family to watch baby) I definitely think someone else can serve for the time being. A mother who leaves her child with a caregiver that she chose on the spur of the moment is not going to be putting her all into whether or not that person is guilty or innocent.







:


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## Kat20 (Jan 8, 2002)

I thought of a tip if you do get called: When you are in the courtroom, listen to your walkman or read a magazine. They will see that you are not paying an ounce of attention and will probably ask you to leave.


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## dandelions2 (Feb 18, 2003)

You can go to La Leche League's website www.lalecheleague.org and look under legislation to see what your state says about bfing moms. I'm in CA, and here a woman who is breastfeeding only needs to write a letter and send it in with her summons saying that she is breastfeeding. She has to be excused for a year. If that year passes and she is called back but still nursing, she can write another letter to be excused. I have been excused twice so far, no questions asked.

Patti


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

If I were you, after the clerk treated me like that, I just wouldn't go back again. They're not going to track you down and hold you in contempt. And on the miniscule chance that they did, and you told your story to the media, they would drop it so fast. And, you'd be doing a public service by bringing an important issue to public attention.

Here in CT you can get out of jury duty if you have primary care responsibilities.


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## alexa07 (Mar 27, 2003)

I am an attorney who tries cases in court ,not as AP as most of you and think Jury Duty is important. But I also think that nursing is more important. Believe me NO Attorney wants an unhappy juror on her panel. If you can't get out of it altogether, make sure you say so at the voir dire (that's when the attorney or the judge talks to you to see how you feel about this case.) YOu willl be asked something like "is there anything that makes you think you can't be impartial" Say that you are very upset that jury duty might interefere with your nursing and that you feel that you could not concentrate. If the judge is rude or mean, just say you fully intend to do your jury duty once your kids are bigger.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Here you get a card with what are more or less disqualifing questions (How do you feel about police, do you have a mental or physical illness, blah blah blh basic stuff that would make you biased or incapable of serving) and I think I would just get disqualified early on if I couldn't legally get out of it.


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## delighted.mama (Jan 29, 2003)

Breath,

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I forgot that I posted this message!







:

I don't feel on the defensive about your post at all. I think that, you raise very valid points. In fact, I completely agree with you that the well being of our children is of the utmost importance. IMHO, I think that a nursing mother, whereas she doesn't receive "special" recognition within the four corners of the law, should receive some special consideration from a common sense perspective. As someone who bf, I totally appreciate the sacrifice and the inconvenience assosciated with having to leave your baby with a caregiver, possibly having to pump, and being gone from the baby. Unfortunately, our judiciary is still a primarily male-dominated field and you don't see a lot of men that are as understanding.

That being said, however, I would draw the line at nursing infants. I'm not sure what age, though, maybe 9 months?? I think think that when you get into the area of extended bf (1 year), you are not excused from your civic duty because you are SAH. The well-being of a SAHM's child can have no more importance or value than the well-being of any other mother who may have to serve on a jury. It would be hard to argue that a SAHM should receive preference for choosing to nurse, but a ft working mom, or a part-time working mom, who also bf, would have to serve on a jury AND bf. Also, where does the WAH mom, who bf, fit into the picture? She's not really SAH, but she also isn't working outside of the home. There are lots of different permutations to take into consideration.

The other reason I would draw a line at nursing an infant is that otherwise bad precedent might be set for other people in other situations. What about the child that takes care of an elderly parent at home? Or a SAHP that has a special needs child at home? What about SAH parents that aren't bf, but have 6 kids at home? (I'd imagine it would be difficult to find caregivers) OR, what about homeschooling parents?IMO, if too many exceptions are made, then people tend to take advantage of them. These are just some things that come off the top of my head.

All in all, this is an interesting issue. I guess I never thought about it that much, until now. Personally, I can't imagine why anyone would want to incur the wrath of a mother who is nursing an infant by forcing her to be on the jury!







:







:







: I definitely wouldn't want to be the atty to do that!!









Anyway, just a few more thoughts I had.








: Either way, this is definitely a topic that is worth investigating more.


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## delighted.mama (Jan 29, 2003)

Veganmama,

"Nursing mothers work 24/7 and there's no reason they're civic duty should not be postponed. I don't appreciate the holier than thou attitude. I'm sure most nursing mothers would be glad to serve, but their child's needs come first."

I just read your post with the above quoted portion. Sorry if I sounded like I was on my soapbox. I certainly didn't mean to offend. Its just an area where I heard LOTS of excuses, both completely valid and completely frivolous.

But, can you give me a good reason why a SAH nursing mom should have more preference than a pt or ft woh nursing mom? Or, do we just clump those mom's as ones whose "child's needs" come second? Don't they work 24/7 as nursing mothers as well? Or, does the fact that they work out of the home mean that their civic duty cannot be postposed but a sah nursing mom's can?

Don't get me wrong; I DO think that a nursing mom, all nursing moms, SHOULD have some preference. But, where do you draw the line? Do you draw the line only at SAHP. What about if someone's spouse gets called and he's the sole breadwinner? Should he be automatically excused?

You also mentioned that you don't want to sit on some meaningless jury. I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to either. That's only one part of the system however. What about in criminal cases involving the abuse of a child? The molestation of a chlild? The neglect of a child? Isn't that something that ALL of our society, especially mothers, should be concerned with? Unfortunately, when you get called for jury duty, you can't pick and choose the case.


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

Quote:

But, can you give me a good reason why a SAH nursing mom should have more preference than a pt or ft woh nursing mom? Or, do we just clump those mom's as ones whose "child's needs" come second? Don't they work 24/7 as nursing mothers as well? Or, does the fact that they work out of the home mean that their civic duty cannot be postposed but a sah nursing mom's can?
I am not veganmama, but I think I can. I don't this is a "mommy war" (SAH vs. WOH) issue, but consider that:

1) Most bf babies/toddlers that are w/ SAHMs DO NOT take a bottle. I think it is abusive to let a child that is used to nursing every hour or two (who has ALWAYS BFed on demand) go all day or until lunch (if a mom is lucky enough to find someone to bring her child to her) without food. Not every baby starts solids by 6 months or knows how to take breastmilk from another container besides his mom's breast. This would also assume that every SAHM OWNS a decent pump if there was an 8 hour+ separation. For instance, my ds#2 is 15 months and he hardly eats any solids. He has severe food sensitivities, so while it would be fine for me to serve on a jury for a day or two at this point, it would not be fine for me to serve for any extended period of time.

2) Which leads me to my next concern. If one is a WOHM, I'd assume that she already has daycare in place. What is a SAHM to do when she has no daycare resources at her finger tips? Do you honestly think it would be okay to separate a child from his mother for an 8 hour period who has never been separated from his mom and place him with a "random" person. Most decent daycare settings have waiting lists to get in. Not every mom has a relative or a friend to rely on. But I think the daycare argument is a moot one for SAHM with nursing babes.

3) I don't think it is fair to have an arbitrary cut off date (like 9 months) as to when a nursing mother sould start serving. Once again I'll point out my circumstance; my ds#2 did not eat ANY solids until a week after his first birthday.

I think these reasons were already given, but you asked for a good reason. So to recap: no acceptable daycare in place and if there was never a need for a baby to take a bottle, then a lot of SAHMs don't even OWN a pump let alone have a pumping system or a stored breastmilk supply that would sustain a baby.


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## Justice2 (Mar 18, 2003)

I live in SC, but and currently doing some research for a family member on DSS in NC. THEY ARE ALL ABOUT INTIMIDATION. I think that you should call the DSS (who usually are pretty militant that bfing should be done at least for the first year) and complain. Them I would call the county clerks office and report the officer that was so abusive to you and your child. Then I would call the judge (or magistrate) and register a complaint to them about the actions of their officer. I would also accompany all of these complaints with written complaints. I might would even file a suit against that officer for harrassment. You never know, NC legislation isn't very friendly, but this could very well be a precedent setting case you have against them. Sorry, just reread the post....your friend, not you!









Good Luck to her!

Laura


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