# how old to co-sleep?



## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

How old is your child or was your child when you "stopped" co-sleeping.


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## tinuviel_k (Apr 29, 2004)

My daughter is currently five, and none of us really feel like stopping.







I can't say exactly when we will stop: I'd like to wait until she wants to, and I suppose that will come in a couple of years. She occasionally sleeps on her own by choice. My husband and I really like having a family bed, so we're in no rush.


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

dd co-slept until around 4 years ds is still co-sleeping with us and he's 3, I don't see it stopping anytime soon!!


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I stopped early with all three.







With DD1, we were all miserable (including her!) and a brief experiment with separate sleeping showed that she was just plain happier on her own. She was 15 months when I moved her to her own room, and I was heartbroken.

I moved the twins even earlier, but not because we were ready. They and I would have been happy cosleeping much longer, but I was very sick. I have a chronic condition that was badly flared, and I was needing to spend a large part of each night in and out of the bathroom. The disturbance of me getting up would wake them, and then I wouldn't be there to nurse them back to sleep, and it was a scene, and nobody was sleeping. So we had to nightwean, and eventually move to separate sleeping. DD2 was 8 months when we moved her. DS it took longer-- he was 13 months. DD2 moved easily, but DS was harder, and I was determined to avoid CIO so it was a slow process.

Ideally, I would have liked to cosleeping until 3 with each of them, but circumstances just didn't work out that way for us.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

My 3 y/o and 1 y/o are still in my bed.

DH and I are TTC so we will probably move the 3 y/o out sometime during my pregnancy...4 in a bed is sooo crowded (even in a king size!) I don't think we could handle 5 in a bed! And we don't have space for a side car mattress.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

We have odd, constantly changing sleep arrangements.

Dh currently has his own room off the downstairs rec room.

Dd (almost six years) sleeps with me in a queen in my room. Dd (almost one year) sleeps in a crib in her own room.

I anticipate over the next year littler dd will start to co-sleep and bigger dd will move into her own bed in the room she 'shares' with littler dd.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

We ran out of room when dd turned about 4. We have a queen sized bed and it just isn't big enough for 3 of us. We've been working for the last 2 months on getting her to stay in her own bed. (We never coslept with ds, he was just happier on his own.)


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinuviel_k* 
My daughter is currently five, and none of us really feel like stopping.







I can't say exactly when we will stop: I'd like to wait until she wants to, and I suppose that will come in a couple of years. She occasionally sleeps on her own by choice. My husband and I really like having a family bed, so we're in no rush.









That makes me feel better. My DD is 6.5 and she still likes to co-sleep. It depends on how she feels but I let her do as she wants. Sometimes she sleeps in her bed and other times we sleep together in the extra bedroom. DH suffers from insomnia so we don't do a family bed.







But I love co-sleeping and I wondered if anyone with a child in the 5+ range would post. I'm glad I'm not the only one.


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## Swandira (Jun 26, 2005)

My oldest began to prefer to sleep in his own room when he was 5. (We never pushed it until he showed interest. My little one will sleep with him (she's 2 1/2), but she still likes to sleep with us too. She still just really wants to sleep with someone.

They both come into our room in the morning and snuggle us, though, around 6:30 or 7 when they wake up. They may do that as long as they like!

Nealy


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

My dd just turned six and still spends some of the night with me in my bed. She starts out in her own bed and usually comes into mine sometime in the middle of the night. I hardly ever know she is there until morning.


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## clutterbug (Apr 6, 2007)

I didn't vote since we haven't done it yet, but our plan is to likely get the older two sleeping in a separate bed together before the third one arrives (no set timing, but hopefully when the older two are 3 and 6). We plan to get bunkbeds so the boys can go into separate beds when they're ready. But who knows, maybe DS1 will want to sleep on his own before then? (I doubt it, but stranger things have happened!)


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *One_Girl* 
My dd just turned six and still spends some of the night with me in my bed. She starts out in her own bed and usually comes into mine sometime in the middle of the night. I hardly ever know she is there until morning.

I wish that's how it was for us.







Unfortunately, my DD wakes me up and we both don't really get a very restful night's sleep when we are in the bed together but I don't mind. I wish we could figure out a way to both sleep easier together. It was a 'lot' easier to co-sleep when she was really young.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

At age 3, DD decided she wanted to start starting the night out in her own bed, but she still came into our room every night for the majority of the night. Close to age 4, I moved the kids together into DD's room to start the night out together, and I end up in there with them both.

So... we're still cosleeping, just differently than before.

Don't really see an end in sight, though I assume at some point, I'll probably phase out of the picture - DD already talks frequently about how DS & she will sleep all night in their bed.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

My oldest co-slept until 2ish. Then he came into our bed nightly until he was close to 5. He's now almost 7 and still comes in our bed sometimes.

We still co-sleep full time with our 2 1/2 year old.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

We no longer sleep in the same bed with our two children (age 4 and 7) but we do all still sleep in the same room next to each other. Right now we have a mattress on the floor next to our children's futons. They are pretty much welcome to come on the mattress anytime they want/need, but I think most of us are much happier with this sleeping arrangement. Honestly, I don't ever see us having more than one sleeping room (unless when they are teens they want privacy) because we totally love sleeping in the same room with each other and since we are in Japan where this is done even with grandparents/parents/children all together in the same room, it isn't weird.







:


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

DS got his own bed around age 5- or maybe he was still 4? Whenever the queen sized bed (that I'd purchased before his sisters were born) finally wore out, and we switched to 2 separate twin beds in the same room. He just turned 7 and we still snuggle together at bedtime and in the mornings.

If you want to define co-sleeping as "parents and kids sleeping in the same room but separate beds" then I'm currently co-sleeping with a 12.5yo and an almost 14yo.







Of course we only have a 2 bedroom home....


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## kythe (Dec 20, 2007)

I'm glad to see from the poll that I'm not the only one still cosleeping with older kids. My 6 & 8 year old still join me at night. Ironically, we have had different sleeping arrangements over the years and I didn't consistantly cosleep with either one as babies. This isn't part of a "continuum", it's just what has been working out for us lately.

I don't mind the current arrangement. I figure that people tend to like sleeping near others regardless of their age. I don't see it a priviledge for adults only. I am sure we will no longer be cosleeping before we reach the teen years, for the sake of maturity and privacy and other issues that come up at that time.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I didn't pick anything, because it varies from child to child (and fam to fam) so its not really a clear cut answer...just whenever the child and fam is ready...my daughter Aja, who is 4, still sleeps with us occassionally. My son has been sleeping on his own since around age 3


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## MamaJenese (Aug 14, 2006)

My 3 year old and 1 year old are still in bed with us. I am hoping they will co sleep together in the nursery soon. I would love to have them out of the bed by the time we have #3, and I am hoping to start TTC soon.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

I already gave my arrangements, but wanted to mention something else.

I'm the oldest of five kids (me, brother, sister, sister, brother).

Up until I moved out (at age nineteen) I was very comfortable crawling in beside my mother if I was sick or scared or upset.

I didn't wake my parents up, but they have one of those extra big king size beds (california king?) and I would lay down next to mum for anywhere from five minutes to a couple of hours, and then go back to my own room.

Even today, if I'm at their house and some of us are napping, it's nothing for me, my dds, my mum and my sisters (depending on room







) to nap all together.

It's lovely.


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## 3pink1blue (Jun 23, 2008)

DD1 transitioned around age 5, very slowly. DD2 decided she needed her own bed around age 3, abruptly (altho still coming in my room a couple times a month or so.) DD3 never liked sleeping with me and has been in her own space since around 5 months. DS still sleeps in my bed, and I hope he does for awhile longer... love sleeping next to a fat nakey baby!


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## momma of monkeys (Aug 10, 2006)

ds (who will be 9 in Jan.) stopped co-sleeping when he was about 4...though he still occasionally asks/shows up in our bed....
dd (will be 3 in a few weeks) still co-sleeps....it would be great if she would stop doing gymnastics in her sleep tho...it's becoming difficult for dp & i.....too much kicking







: I wouldn't dream of 'forcing' her to sleep alone though....








ps....sometimes she tries to nurse...I miss nursing


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## canadianchick (May 18, 2005)

I think we stopped around the age of five but dd will sometimes come in and get in with me if she isn't feeling well or has had a bad dream.


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## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

Dd is going to be 6 in March. We still co-sleep. She has spent a couple of nights in her own bed. For a while dh slept in another room because she was always kicking him in the crotch!! but he's back now...The couple of nights she slept in her bed it was wierd. We didn't start out co-sleeping, but it was alot easier nursing so she came in full time at 6 mos.(Dh's idea) Before that she spent the early part of the night in her crib (from 3-6 mos) She slept on dh's chest the first few months!

So I just realized when I was a baby I slept in a crib right next to my mom's side of the bed. Stayed there til 4 yrs.I used to say 'Mama turn my way' Then I shared a room with my sister who was 6 yrs older, but still wanted in with mom and dad and sometimes would sleep on the landing outside their door because dad wouldn't let me sleep there every night. At around 8 my grandparents moved to Florida and Gramps would come stay with us in the winter for business. I'd sleep with him til probably 11 or so. i did finally move to my own room....just goes to show you- Who wants to sleep alone?LOL Occasionally I catch a few hrs in the spare room just to see how it feels to have a bed to myself.


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## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momma of monkeys* 
ds (who will be 9 in Jan.) stopped co-sleeping when he was about 4...though he still occasionally asks/shows up in our bed....
dd (will be 3 in a few weeks) still co-sleeps....it would be great if she would stop doing gymnastics in her sleep tho...it's becoming difficult for dp & i.....too much kicking







: I wouldn't dream of 'forcing' her to sleep alone though....








ps....sometimes she tries to nurse...I miss nursing









pss Sometimes mine tries to nurse too! I let her try and that seems to be enough!!


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treemom2* 
Honestly, I don't ever see us having more than one sleeping room (unless when they are teens they want privacy) because we totally love sleeping in the same room with each other and since we are in Japan where this is done even with grandparents/parents/children all together in the same room, it isn't weird.







:

awww....that's so great!


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## kennedy444 (Aug 2, 2002)

I currently still cosleep with my 4 yr old.
My oldest, now 14, would go to sleep in her own bed starting at age 5 or so but then would come into my bed during the night almost every night until she was in second grade, so age 7 or 8!


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## Crystal Pegasus (Jan 24, 2008)

This is much like our situation... but...

(1) We are in Australia, not Japan lol and it's not common here! But it's a point I often make when questioned- that in other cultures, and in olden times, co-sleeping in the same room for many years was the norm for many segments of the community.

(2) My son has reached those teen years (almost 14), and still has no desire to leave our family bedroom. And we love him there too. It's like a pyjama party every night lol We have deep conversations and silly giggles and cement our family bond, on an ongoing basis. He has his own room... and has slept in there a few odd times here and there... but always comes back. So he has somewhere to go when he wants privacy and somewhere to keep his possesions and hang out.

So... don't feel it's wrong to keep co-sleeping for as long as it works and feels comfortable to all concerned!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treemom2* 
We no longer sleep in the same bed with our two children (age 4 and 7) but we do all still sleep in the same room next to each other. Right now we have a mattress on the floor next to our children's futons. They are pretty much welcome to come on the mattress anytime they want/need, but I think most of us are much happier with this sleeping arrangement. Honestly, I don't ever see us having more than one sleeping room (unless when they are teens they want privacy) because we totally love sleeping in the same room with each other and since we are in Japan where this is done even with grandparents/parents/children all together in the same room, it isn't weird.







:


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## Alcyone (Apr 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nursemummy* 
Even today, if I'm at their house and some of us are napping, it's nothing for me, my dds, my mum and my sisters (depending on room







) to nap all together.

It's lovely.









Aww I love this!

I asked DH, who was apprehensive about co-sleeping at first, when he thinks DD should get her own bed and he said, "never!" DD is only 10 weeks, though, so who knows what will end up happening.


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

Voted 5 because that's the average. DD was 5, ds1 was 4, ds2 was 6, ds3 was 5 and ds4 is only 4 mths so he's still going strong.


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

DS was between 3-4, so I voted 3. However he still occasionally comes into the family bed and that's just fine!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

6 and still cosleeping. dont plan to end this soon.


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## luckygreen713 (Apr 9, 2008)

My dd1 is 2.5yo and just decided she wanted to sleep in her own room. We just bought a new house and I think she was really excited to have her own room. After a few nights I think she has found that she sleeps better on her own than she did in my bed with me, dh and dd2 (9mo), since dh snores and dd2 wakes up and cries several times a night.
I plan on letting dd2 stay in my bed until she's ready to move out, and dd1 knows she's always welcome in my bed.


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

DD is nearly 4 and we are still cosleeping. We're working on stopping though...


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## josh&davesmomme (Feb 24, 2006)

my first was around 4 ish, my second just before he was 3...they still occasionally sleep with us but they're in their room, which they share, more often than not


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## Live~Laugh~Love (Dec 21, 2004)

I co-slept som until 7 and he chose to stop, due to fear of rilling over on new born sister.
We currently so-sleep with DD 19 months... until she chooses to go in to her own bed







:


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

My 2 and 4 yr are still sleeping with me and I have no idea when that will change. When they are ready and even then, I am sure I will frequently wake up with a kid in my bed I didn't go to sleep with.


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

I had so many different ages w/ each child.

My oldest was a little over 3 and moved into a small toddler Ikea bed w/ his little brother who was only 16 months! He wanted to sleep there w/ him and I went along with what they wanted. We had just gotten this bedroom set and finally made them their room and it was really fun and cute and very "safe" feeling. We all loved that room







They did fine the 1st night and that was that. I was expecting it wouldn't work and they'd be back in bed w/ me, which I was so okay with...but nope. It worked and in the middle of the night I wanted to go bring them back!







But at the time we had an infant and I think that made them feel like "big kids" and want to have their own room. Plus it was a small house and the room was across from mine too, which may have helped.

Now the infant is now 4 and still sleeps with us. We also have a 2.5 yr old dd who co slept w/ him and us until recently. We moved and she wanted to sleep in the room w/ her brothers and after she self weaned she went in w/ them and loves it. Those 3 are so easy to put down (the boys are now 7 and 5 tho) but nightime is great around here.

The 4 yr old stays awake and plays and bothers them all.night.long. if he's in there and eventually would come back to us anyway after everyone in the room was upset w/ him keeping them all up. So we tried, it didn't work and he's w/ us still. Not sure when he'll decide to go. We have our 5th baby coming any week now so that may make him want to bunk w/ his siblings or not. But it's all good and when he's ready, he'll find his way to his own bed then.


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## pixiepunk (Mar 11, 2003)

it somewhat depends on what you mean by co-sleeping. My 5.5 yo rarely sleeps in the family bed anymore, but we all share a bedroom, so her bed is very near to ours. my 3 yo DS just started sleeping most of the time in his own bed - he had been having a lot of trouble falling asleep with us in the big bed, so it seemed the right time, and he falls asleep much more easily in his own bed. but again, it's also right next to the big bed. so many people would still consider what we do cosleeping.
we have a small house, so until we build our addition, they couldn't have their own rooms even if they wanted them. but we're all sleeping better in slightly separate spaces (with the baby in bed with DH and me, of course).


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## momlij (Nov 30, 2007)

dd1 started sleeping the night in her own bed around 5 or 6. it was her choice we never pushed her out. she'd sleep in our bed some night and others in hers and then more frequently it just was hers. ds stopped mostly when we had dd2 sleeping with us. i didn't want him kicking her or something (he's a wiggler) since she was so little. so he was like 6 or 7. BUT hed sleep on the floor next to the bed so he'd be in our room. and he still some nights gets up when my hubby gets up for work (around 5 usually) and then come in bed and sleep the rest of the morning in bed with me and dd2 since there's more room with hubby gone. dd2 is 18 months and still in bed with us full time.


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

My oldest will be 6 in 2 months, and she's still in our bed and I don't think anything is going to happen over December that will change that.

So I'm going to say after 6!







My 4.5 yo might go with her, I think they'll probably be transitioning to a sister bed when they make the change.


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## kaireece (Dec 21, 2007)

My eldest is 4.5 and still co-sleeps. he has informed us that he will sleep in his own bed when he is 10







No worries I say







My youngest is in his own room and crib - and has been from the beginning. He asks to go to his bed if I try and cosleep with him.

Part of me is very glad he is a great independent sleeper ( we had major night sleep problems with my first - medical) but part of me wishes he was in our bed.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

my dd is 4 1/2 and still sleeps with me most of the night


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)

I still co sleep most of the night with my 6.5 yr old..


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## salmontree (Mar 29, 2004)

Well when ds was 2 we moved in with my new boyfriend (now dh) and since he wasn't ds's biodad I felt a bit strange about cosleeping so we moved him into his own bed. Which translated into me laying down with him every night until he fell asleep for about a year before he was able to fall asleep on his own. He wasn't nursing at that point so he didn't really wake up in the night much and on the occassion he did I would get up and go lay with him.

DD1 is now 3 and we are slowly transitioning her to her own bed. She still nurses though (a LOT) and so she always wakes up and crawls into bed beween 2 and 4 am. It's just so crowded and her nursing so exhausting that I'm eager for her to take this step closer to independence. I probably would feel differently if I didn't still have another baby in bed with us.


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## southernmommie (Jan 7, 2007)

I voted for both the 5 and 6 option. If it were up to my son, 6, he would still be sleeping with us. And our daughter is still sleeping with us too. We only take a break in between when the babies are 6 mo. or older and cannot go to sleep with someone next to them because they want to play, and they have actually fallen asleep on their own and wake up fine. It isn't until after a year old that they want to sleep with us again.


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## maylea_moon (Mar 4, 2005)

my son is 4 and my daughter is 14 months. they both still co-sleep (have since birth) and honestly it's driving me nuts! i think it's time for us to upgrade from queen to king since the reason it's driving me nuts is because i'm being smacked and kicked all night long (both my kids toss and turn like crazy)


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## purplestraws (Sep 13, 2006)

Our kiddo (almost 21 months now) started sleeping in a toddler bed around 16 months...half the night in his bed, half in ours. A couple of months later he was just NOT sleeping well in our bed anymore, he'd toss and turn and flip and flop all over us. Nobody was sleeping and everybody was unhappy. So, instead of pulling him up in the bed when he came over in the middle of the night (he's still in our room), we just walk him back over to his bed and he crawls in and goes right back to sleep. Sometimes we have to do this 3-4 times a night, but everyone is much happier this way. DH and I would've been happy for him to continue co-sleeping, but dude needed his own space! We're pleased with the way things worked out.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

me and my brother both slept with our parents till around 12 ish


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nursemummy* 
Even today, if I'm at their house and some of us are napping, it's nothing for me, my dds, my mum and my sisters (depending on room







) to nap all together.

It's lovely.









awww







I wish I would have had that kind of closeness in my family while growing up.







I hope my own kids do get the chance to grow up and do this type of thing.


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