# Have you heard about this?



## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

I hope I'm posting this in the right place. If not, I beg the moderators' pardon.

Some parents made their teenager wear a sign with his grades on it to teach him a lesson. http://www.yahoo.com/s/1028441


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## newcastlemama (Jun 7, 2005)

How sad


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## lynchyk (Mar 27, 2007)

Wow. I'm not even as GD as most on here but that is just humiliating. Maybe the parents should stand with a sign saying "I know how to humiliate my child".

Kelly


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Maybe they should wear shirts with their income, debt, and waist sizes.


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## LeighB (Jan 17, 2008)

I don't see the point. They said he was doing the work but not turning it in. I did that all through school because I honest to goodness could not get organized enough to do it. I think a better approach would have been working with his organization skills.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn*
Maybe they should wear shirts with their income, debt, and waist sizes.

Good point!


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

That is horribly disgusting. How again is this not child abuse?

Maybe the parents should add their grades to the signs they need to wear.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

that's crazy and sad







:


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Umm Where I am from an E is Excellent. The worse grade I see on there is a C.

If this child is being punished with a C that is rediculous.

Listening to this I guess and E is an F.


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## BeanyMama (Jul 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
Maybe they should wear shirts with their income, debt, and waist sizes.


YES.

How sad for him


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

That kid looks totally motivated now. Their punishment totally worked!!

[/sarcasm]


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## Danielle13 (Oct 31, 2007)

It totally didn't even "work" in the first place! did you hear his answer?

she asked him did this help you learn to get better grades? and he said "Well I don't want to stand on that corner anymore" uh? was that the lesson? teaching him he doesn't want to stand on corners?

So horrible. I agree, they should wear shirts with their debt on them!!


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## SkylarJulesmom (Feb 11, 2007)

He looks so motivated.







: I see him on T.V. A few years from now probably shooting his parents







Truly I feel so bad for this kid. Maybe if his parents saw that that he wasn't handing in his homework assignments there are other avenues they could have chosen, maybe have a "homework buddy" at school. (Someone who can help him get organized enough to hand his homework in) They talked about trying everything they could, going to the doctor so they could medicate him??







: I don't get it.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Yea.. I didn't hear anything about hiring a tutor for Algebra.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Of course Fox would have these people on. As if it wasn't bad enough for him to half to stand by a busy street wearing the sign and getting his picture taken, now the entire world knows his marks. Awful!


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 
Of course Fox would have these people on. As if it wasn't bad enough for him to half to stand by a busy street wearing the sign and getting his picture taken, now the entire world knows his marks. Awful!









Yeah, I thought that, too.

The tv reporters were pissing me off, especially at the end when the lady reporter said she gives these parents alot of respect for their effort in trying to help their son.







: Ummm... yeah...


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## mntnmom (Sep 21, 2006)

I don't think this will worked...but I'm sure the logic made sense to them. If you don't make good grades, you will eventually be humilitated by the situation your lack of options forces you into. Atleast they believe their son can do better and are willing to take the heat for this. They didn't give up on him and they didn't just beat him. They are attempting to be creative.
Now that I've played devil's advocate: I think it's awful. Obviously this kid needs help learning some skills and a little bit of "up-lifting". I have no doubt these parents are trying....but I am sad when I think about the possible end results.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I wonder how many people they had stopping to ask where the carwash was?

I also wonder why those parents have no interest in ever seeing their DIL and grandkids.


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## MittensKittens (Oct 26, 2008)

Wow, I am just speechless! What a lack of respect. And parading him on TV is just as bad as the initial "punishment"!


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## Sileree (Aug 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LeighB* 
I don't see the point. They said he was doing the work but not turning it in. I did that all through school because I honest to goodness could not get organized enough to do it. I think a better approach would have been working with his organization skills.









:


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *just_lily* 
That kid looks totally motivated now. Their punishment totally worked!!

[/sarcasm]

I know! Plus the poor kid looked really uncomfortable. I'm sure it wasn't his idea to go on tv and tell the world how his parents humiliated him.


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## Daphneduck (Jan 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
Maybe they should wear shirts with their income, debt, and waist sizes.

Or their IQ scores, which I'm betting are pretty low.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I wonder how many people they had stopping to ask where the carwash was?

I also wonder why those parents have no interest in ever seeing their DIL and grandkids.


















I don't see how they think this will make a big difference. The kids I knew in school who got horrible grades didn't really care that much--- and all their peers knew it. Having it on a billboard wouldn't have bothered them--- to get that bad of grades you have to be "trying" to fail (it would be obvious to everyone that you never turned in your homework, etc...). I wonder how he was doing on the tests? In college you have to turn papers in, but not a lot of overnight homework and actually knowing the information is more important.


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## flower01 (Aug 1, 2007)

these type of situations really make me think about how I will deal with my kids doing poorly in school. Well, actually I plan on homeschooling so hopefully this won't be an issue.

But, since we all agree that these parents didn't make the best choice, what would you do. You make sure it's not a medical issue, you talk to the kids teachers and counselors...but you're child just doesn't seem to care. How do you motivate them to do the work? How can you make them care?

When I think about my school years...I remember mostly doing well, but the classes I struggled with I honestly needed help but was too scared to ask. I hid my progress reports from my mom because I knew I would get the crap beaten out of me (even in high school). My brothers struggled worse than I did. My one brother practically failed out - he managed to make it through but not because he cared, or because my mom's punishments motivated him. I wonder how we all would have done in school had our home been "happy."

So when I hear about a kid doing poorly in school...my mind goes off and wonders about all the possibilities that could have caused this. Of course, some kids do poorly and are raised in relatively good homes, so then what's the answer...

Just throwing my thoughts out there. I'd actually like to learn something from these billboard parents instead of just talking about how idiotic they are.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

I found high school absolutely freaking boring. I hated every freaking second of being in class. I think a lot of the problem is the way the schools teach. THEY DON'T MOTIVATE the kids to care. Without knowing more about this kids school, I can't say what more they could have done, but I do believe a lot of the problem lies in the school even if the parents don't want to believe this.


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## forthebest (Jun 19, 2006)

I cant listen to the vid till I get new headphones but oh this is vile. My foster mother of 10 yrs kicked me out at 15, one of her big reasons was I had failed most of my school exams.Oh ok I had smoked pot too and the rumours going round were that I was on heroin







She had been threatening me that if I failed the examsI would get sent back to childrens home.After 10 years!I was so terrified at the exams that I froze and walked out of most of them without picking up a pencil.I lost everything again, friends, security, my education, my hope. She had drilled into me that I HAD to do well at school otherwise I was a lost cause like my birth mother, she said, who I met once. Its only in my 40's I realise what she did to me with her sheer ignorance about life and her addiction to zombie drugs from the docs.I had blamed myself for everything till now and had to piece stuff together to let go.I became a binge-alcoholic at 16, was homeless and my dream of artschool blown away, socialservices told me I'd made my bed now lie in it, they said I couldnt get into college and I knew no better, that I had ruined my chance at life, their very words, I'll never forget. The Thatcherite ideology politically in the 70's here in UK was all about throwing the lower-class 'losers' on the heap. The fostermom had been threatening me for years she would send me away, I just didnt turn out to be what she wanted, it had a very negative impact on my whole life.I questioned everything especially politically, she didnt like that, I tried to run away with some travellers at 12, I later did live on the road.I started out homeschooling my dc but I had no support and needed jobs so they all went to school at about 7 and 8 yrs old. I've never pushed good grades are a must on my dc and instead help to nurture their skills,ideas and dreams and consider myself to be a fully-functioning part of their education, I do a lot of stuff with them at home and will tackle any misinfo that state schooling teaches. We are all avid learners in life in our home. My eldest dd has just got the highest marks in 3 higher classes including maths, I pay £15 a week for her to get math tuition as I had great difficulty with that and cant help her with math and I'm a single mom with no money to spare but I find it somehow.Incidentally we are poor in an affluent area and the school has the highest rates of passes in the North of Scotland mostly I think cos most of the kids here are very priviledged and a lot of money, time and community help goes towards the school but still the grades are dropping as she was the only one who passed in one subject(math) and one of only two pupils who passed another, these are mock exams tho the real deal in 6 weeks,definitely the system is flawed in how the lessons are taught tho the teachers are good my dd says. Maybe the wealthier kids just dont have the incentive. They do not have a singlemom who lives with no cash for 6 days every week. I did good at english and love history so she has me for all that, I'm even picking up some French thanks to dd lol. I have never encouraged my dc to think of state education as the b all and end all and that life holds so much more and we as individuals all have talents even if they are not recognized as such by most people. The effect my ex fostermother had on me about education(her version) impacted greatly on how I raise my dc, no kid of mine would get thrown out of their home for anything.I will support them any way I can. I have gently encouraged all my dc to do what they can and to do stuff they enjoy and to not worry about grades. My youngest dd was labelled severe dyslexic by school and I grabbed the bull by the horns and went right back to basics with her, school wasnt doing anything except reporting a problem, I was told she would likely never read, after 6 yrs of me helping and all her hard work and after she got the chickenpox dd started reading substantial books age 11 and she loves it, her artwork is superb and her english teacher in high school said at parents evening he was surprised at the mature content she reads in her own personal books. Eldest dd wants to get into university, she would like to aim at being a high-school teacher and becoming a proffessor in her chosen field. Can you tell how pleased and amazed I am??







: Its been a huge struggle for me, we were living in our car 10 yrs ago with nothing in the world cept ourselves. I fully believe children are incredible and nurturing and loving them is the most important things we can do for them, I actually miss doing bedtime stories now. To put such importance on school grades as a marker of human intelligence and 'success' is seriously flawed and a disservice to children. I feel sorry for this poor boy and what will this do to his self-esteem longterm never mind his education.







Absolutely loving the idea from pp the parents should be forced to wear a sign displaying their waist sizes, IQ's, salaries lolol class!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
But, since we all agree that these parents didn't make the best choice, what would you do. You make sure it's not a medical issue, you talk to the kids teachers and counselors...but you're child just doesn't seem to care. How do you motivate them to do the work? How can you make them care?

To actually do the work? How about a tutor before a sandwich board?

But I thought this kid was doing the work and then not handing it in. So the parents could've just written a note on his hand or something.


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

forthebest,


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breeder* 
Of course Fox would have these people on. As if it wasn't bad enough for him to half to stand by a busy street wearing the sign and getting his picture taken, now the entire world knows his marks. Awful!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *harleyhalfmoon* 
Yeah, I thought that, too.

The tv reporters were pissing me off, especially at the end when the lady reporter said she gives these parents alot of respect for their effort in trying to help their son.







: Ummm... yeah...

Exactly what I was thinking!

Shame on his parents for dragging that kid on national TV!


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

Blargh, my mom used to use strategies like this to try to humiliate me. I hated school as a kid but all the conflict with her about it made it much, much worse than it could have been. What could have been just boredom turned into something that caused me a lot of phsychological pain over the years.

I firmly believe a typical school enviroment isn't going to work for some kids. And when that happens you have to find something that does.. there are a lot of things to try even if you don't have money to spend. If the problems go deeper than just not liking school (depression, social anxiety) then those problems have to be treated before school performance is going to improve.

At the end of the day, honestly I think there are much, MUCH worse things for your teenager to be doing. Getting bad grades in high school doesn't mean you don't have a brilliant future (hello, Einstein), it doesn't stop you from attending a prestigious college if you want to (you just have to start at community college, prove yourself there, and transfer), being a fufilled member of society, being a happy person.

I flunked through high school and ended up dropping out, and 5 years later I am working 40 hours a week at a 'real' job, totally supporting myself and am in general a happy, stable and responsible person.


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## flower01 (Aug 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
To actually do the work? How about a tutor before a sandwich board?

But I thought this kid was doing the work and then not handing it in. So the parents could've just written a note on his hand or something.

I was asking a sincere question. I really don't believe that the parents helped the kid do his homework, discussed the situation with his teachers, and then no one helped him turn it in. If your kid was that disorganized and you and the teacher were actually trying to help him, I would think you'd walk in the building and watch him turn in the paper if it came to that. Or the teacher should have asked him personally for the homework. If the ONLY problem is that the kid can't remember to hand in the homework, then a little extra help would probably go pretty far in preventing "E"s So I just don't think that is the only problem.


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## puddle (Aug 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
I was asking a sincere question. I really don't believe that the parents helped the kid do his homework, discussed the situation with his teachers, and then no one helped him turn it in. If your kid was that disorganized and you and the teacher were actually trying to help him, I would think you'd walk in the building and watch him turn in the paper if it came to that. Or the teacher should have asked him personally for the homework. If the ONLY problem is that the kid can't remember to hand in the homework, then a little extra help would probably go pretty far in preventing "E"s So I just don't think that is the only problem.

I used to work as a substitute teacher in a high school. In one class I subbed for a lot, there was a kid whose parents made him get his teachers to sign a little spreadsheet thing he had with what his homework was for the night. I thought it was a little overbearing at the time since he seemed like a pretty responsible kid, but I'm sure it worked a lot better than this. Of course that would only work if he either cared about improving his grades or feared punishment if he didn't get his teachers to sign. I think the most effective way to fix the situation would be to inspire the kid to care about his grades, but that's a pretty tough thing to achieve. I'll stop now before I get started on a public school system rant since this isn't the forum for that.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Schools like to pretend that kids are responsible enough to turn in their own work.

I got in a fight with the school, (and changed districts immediatly over this.) Because my 1st grader in the first 6 weeks of school was punished for forgetting her homework. I informed them that it was my fault. I had it on the table that morning but forgot to put it in her backpack. I was informed that it was HER (this 6 year old and 2 month old child) responsibility to remember to bring her homework back to school!!!!

With my 5th grader I have a 504 plan stating they need to ASK her for her homework. Saying, Class pass your homework forward is not enough. You need to say Elizabeth, please turn in your homework. But she has been diagnosed with ADD which is how we got the 504 plan.

Her teacher last year didn't follow it. She failed and was passed on cause she aced the state tests. This year her teacher is following it and she is getting B's and C's. Much better than Incompletes.


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

I am ADD and my mom threatened to 504 me for years. In my situation and with my personal pride I considered that pretty high on the public humiliation scale. It caused a lot of screaming, crying fights in our house for years.

What actually helped was that every night before school, it was, "Kellie, bring me your backpack. OK, where is your math homework? Where is your English homework?" etc, and I had to pull each item out and show her. It was ridiculous for a 12 year old, but by high school I finally "got" it and always remembered that important things had to be in the backpack the night before. Even still, if I need something for work I will put it in the car the night before.

I am not really GD, but I still think this incident is deplorable. Public humiliation is not the way to inspire you kids to do better.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flower01* 
But, since we all agree that these parents didn't make the best choice, what would you do. You make sure it's not a medical issue, you talk to the kids teachers and counselors...but you're child just doesn't seem to care. How do you motivate them to do the work? How can you make them care?

My general attitude towards schoolwork is that it's not my problem. The teachers are there to enforce homework and schoolwork and grades. If a child doesn't study and gets a poor grade- well, there's the natural consequence! The child got a poor grade!

Even with my 2nd grader, I don't get overly involved with school stuff. I remind him to do his homework, create a good working environment for him (the girls can't watch TV which might distract him, I make sure he's got enough pencils, etc) and then let him do his work. I also remind him to put his work in his bookbag, and insist that homework isn't finished (so no playtime) until it's properly put away.

One day he insisted on doing his homework in pen. I tried to discourage him from doing so, then let him do it. His teacher told him to do it in pencil next time. Now he knows that he needs to do his homework in pencil or he'll get in trouble with the teacher. There was no need for *me* to impose any additional consequences on him. Similarly. if he refuses to do his homework one day, he's the one who will face the teacher the next day.

DDs have friends who get grounded for poor report card grades. That seems NUTS to me! I can see telling a child or teenager "Hey, you're having a rough time keeping up with your schoolwork, let's discuss strategies for helping you get it done" and possibly include "spend less time with friends and more time doing homework" as one of those strategies, but I wouldn't do it in a punative way. I wouldn't make any absolutes such as "no visits with friends for the month of January." I'd to it on a case-by-case basis, and allow friend visits if homework and school projects were caught up on.

If my teen wasn't motivated to do any schoolwork, I'd talk to my child about his or her goals in life. If they were "throwing away their chances of going to college" I'd talk about alternatives- what kind of job do they want to do after high school? Do they need a college degree to do that? If yes, we'd discuss alternative ways of making it to college. Would a different high school be a better fit? What about homeschooling? If the child doesn't want to go to college, we'd look at ways to meet the child's life goals without college (and still consider a different school or homeschooling.)

With a younger child, I'd look at shorter-term goals (not college or career) and consider changing schools or homeschooling if the current school wasn't working. I'd try to fix things within the school first, though.


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## neverdoingitagain (Mar 30, 2005)

Interesting.
I am in middle of reading a book called "People of the Lie" There was a couple of examples of parenting like this. Specatular failure is the result. This is a really poor example of parenting, and just a plain evil act. I doubt they even realize it.
I would write more, but my keyboard is having issues


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
I am ADD and my mom threatened to 504 me for years. In my situation and with my personal pride I considered that pretty high on the public humiliation scale. It caused a lot of screaming, crying fights in our house for years.

What actually helped was that every night before school, it was, "Kellie, bring me your backpack. OK, where is your math homework? Where is your English homework?" etc, and I had to pull each item out and show her. It was ridiculous for a 12 year old, but by high school I finally "got" it and always remembered that important things had to be in the backpack the night before. Even still, if I need something for work I will put it in the car the night before.

I am not really GD, but I still think this incident is deplorable. Public humiliation is not the way to inspire you kids to do better.

This doesn't do much good if the child forgets to turn it in once she gets to school.

My two main reasons for the 504 plan was to keep the school from enforcing things i find rediculous.

1. They are not allowed to keep her in at recess if she doens't complete her work. They go to school at 9, get lunch at noon and have a 20 minute recess after lunch. They get another 20 minute recess in the afternoon, except on Wed. when they have early release. In my opinion they do not get enough recess time and I do not want them keeping my daughter in for recess. Honestly this just makes her worse.

2. She was to do 50% of the problems. I was tired of her being up til 10pm each night to do her homework. They give too much work. I wanted it cut back.

The other things added in there were by the teachers and principal. My daughter doens't even really notice she has a 504 plan. She just knows that she only has to do 50% of the problems in math mostly and that they can't keep her in at recess.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
Interesting.
I am in middle of reading a book called "People of the Lie" There was a couple of examples of parenting like this. Specatular failure is the result. This is a really poor example of parenting, and just a plain evil act. I doubt they even realize it.
I would write more, but my keyboard is having issues









I thought of that book too.


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## TonyaW (Dec 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *harleyhalfmoon* 
Yeah, I thought that, too.

The tv reporters were pissing me off, especially at the end when the lady reporter said she gives these parents alot of respect for their effort in trying to help their son.







: Ummm... yeah...

Not to mention the reporters were snickering and laughing the whole time!







:


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
This doesn't do much good if the child forgets to turn it in once she gets to school.

My two main reasons for the 504 plan was to keep the school from enforcing things i find rediculous.

1. They are not allowed to keep her in at recess if she doens't complete her work. They go to school at 9, get lunch at noon and have a 20 minute recess after lunch. They get another 20 minute recess in the afternoon, except on Wed. when they have early release. In my opinion they do not get enough recess time and I do not want them keeping my daughter in for recess. Honestly this just makes her worse.

2. She was to do 50% of the problems. I was tired of her being up til 10pm each night to do her homework. They give too much work. I wanted it cut back.

The other things added in there were by the teachers and principal. My daughter doens't even really notice she has a 504 plan. She just knows that she only has to do 50% of the problems in math mostly and that they can't keep her in at recess.

I didn'toffer what my mom did in response to your situation - one of the posters asked for alternative solutions.

But yeah, I'm aware 504 is a good thing. It probably would have been a good thing for me too, but I was acutely aware of the differences between students and would have been mortified.

As a young person, a reputation of "smart but underachieving" I could live with - "smart but special needs" I absolutely could not. (I know here 504 falls under special ed).


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
I got in a fight with the school, (and changed districts immediatly over this.) Because my 1st grader in the first 6 weeks of school was punished for forgetting her homework. I informed them that it was my fault. I had it on the table that morning but forgot to put it in her backpack. I was informed that it was HER (this 6 year old and 2 month old child) responsibility to remember to bring her homework back to school!!!!

I had that with ds1's first grade teacher over getting to school late. I was trying to explain to her that there were lifestyle issues going on (ie. my ex was up too late playing videogames - and snorting coke, but I didn't know _that_ until later - to drag his butt out of bed to work, and I was the one getting ds1 and myself ready and all that) that were contributing to ds1 getting to school late. She informed me that _he_ was responsible for getting to school on time. How on earth could that happen, if _I_ wasn't ready to walk with him?? They'd have raised supreme if I'd been sending him to walk by himself...but _he_ was supposed to be responsible for getting _me_ out the door? Totally screwy.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I don't like it but----

I think we all need to remeber

1. He was doing the work he wasn't turning it in.

2. They checked him out physically to make sure there wasn't medical issues.

3. The teachers were their part.

4. He is a teen not a 6 year old. They should not have to micromanage homework being turned in nor the teachers.

5. The racism in this country make it more pressure for him to not stand on that corner. His parents are most likely affraid he will become that statistic a negative statistic.

I honestly don't know what I would do but I think the parents could feel a little helpless and hopeless.


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