# Paci @#[email protected]$#@!!



## Arien (Sep 20, 2004)

How do I wean my four year old off the paci??
It's almost like quitting smoking! Such a habit!

We've whittled it down to paci only at night when going to bed or the odd nap, but at age 4 I would really like the paci to be ABOLISHED.

Do I take a tough love approach and toss them in the garbage and endure the tantrums?? My son sleeps with one in his mouth and holds on to another one in his hand, if he drops it while sleeping he'll yell until I wake up and go into his room and find it for him.

Any tips or experiences?

Thanks


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## Cherie2 (Sep 27, 2006)

My daughter lost hers one by one ... and then they were just gone. but she was only 2 and she was still nursing so ... I don't know ..







sorry


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## Dael (Jan 1, 2007)

All my have been with the paci, Rory left it at 3 years, Robbie at 2 and my12 month old is the most obsessed with it of the 3 she's completely obsessed with it if I took it out she will look at me, and then screams and cries like if it where the end of the world, sometimes she hands it to me and like 5 minutes later it's in her mouth again.

The twins let it by themselves, so I didn't had any troubles..
Sorry no adivice


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

How about a binky fairy? I know theres a storybook out there somewhere about leaving you paci for the fairy, and the fairy leaves a gift in return. If you dont like the gift idea (kinda like bribing in my book) you can just make up your own version of the story. Otherwise I'd probably let it go. This binky will most likely fall apart soon, and if you dont get any more.....I'm sure your ds will give it up when he's ready.


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

My suggestion is that her need for it will cease when she no longer needs it. Have you considered the oral chewy alternatives for the sensory input? Our son is very oral also. He never had a paci, but he does chew on a lot of things: shirt, fingers, toes, pencils, toys, toothbrushes, gum. I was always quite oral too. Ate my fingernails alot and chewed on my hair. Finally quit at about age 25.

Pat


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

When ds started to lose front teeth (started early as he hit a tooth when he fell on his pedal car at 4yo), he could not stand the paci anymore.

I don't think it's ever good to sever emotional ties to an object by force or threat or dramatic gestures. Most adults I know remember those moments clearly, so I think it is traumatic.

I know it's frustrating. But he does just have to outgrow this. I have been there (4 yo freaking out at night because he dropped his paci).

He will eventually stop. He really, really will. If you've weaned it down to just at night, that's success.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Does your dc have other sensory sensitivities? The Out of Sync Child Has Fun has a lot of wonderful oral sensory ideas that might help him begin to substitute other forms of stimulation that are acceptable to you.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

Think about something that is important to you. How would you feel if someone took it away from you, called you a baby for wanting it?

My question is what harm is it causing especially if it is limited to night or naps?

I'm against the binky fairy. I think it is manipulative and not cool. Kids that age tend to not understand time that well and may be coaxed into participation when it isn't something they really understand the long term consequences of.


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

I don't see why to make it an issue. If they need to suck, they need to suck. I nurse a four yr old, some toddlers are not ready to stop sucking by that age. They'll stop when they're ready to stop.


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## ibex67 (Feb 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
Think about something that is important to you. How would you feel if someone took it away from you, called you a baby for wanting it?

My question is what harm is it causing especially if it is limited to night or naps?

I'm against the binky fairy. I think it is manipulative and not cool. Kids that age tend to not understand time that well and may be coaxed into participation when it isn't something they really understand the long term consequences of.

I could not agree more!!! Thank you for that. My son willingly gave up his last paci right before turning 7. He only used it at night and for very long car trips. He knew that other kids his age didn't use them and he was careful not to be seen by anyone but family with it. But when he was ready to hand over the last one he was ready and gave it up without a second look. i have absolutely no regrets about doing it this way -- though I did have plenty of doubts about it when he was still using it at ages 4,5, 6 etc ...


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TigerTail* 
They'll stop when they're ready to stop.

I have a nap/bedtime paci user (dd). I don't think there's any harm in such limited paci use for young children.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
Think about something that is important to you. How would you feel if someone took it away from you, called you a baby for wanting it?

My question is what harm is it causing especially if it is limited to night or naps?

I'm against the binky fairy. I think it is manipulative and not cool. Kids that age tend to not understand time that well and may be coaxed into participation when it isn't something they really understand the long term consequences of.









: that's exactly what i was going to post.

(thank you MDC for successfully changing my parenting views over the years!







)


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

The dentist has told me that after the age of 4 that paci use DOES harm teeth, so that it needs to be taken away or there will be a big dentist bill. My ds(almost 3) has the paci teeth already, and he only has his for sleeps. I am thinking of on his 3rd b day letting them fly on balloons and getting rid of them, but i am sad for him.


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

Dentists say a lot of stuff (the stuff Smilemomma refuted when I took my own kids in! They don't even know the difference, many of them, between bottlefeeding at night & nursing re: caries.)

I'd think long & hard before screwing with something as essential to little kids as the suck reflex (esp if they didn't wean themselves).


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Transitions* 







The dentist has told me that after the age of 4 that paci use DOES harm teeth, so that it needs to be taken away or there will be a big dentist bill. My ds(almost 3) has the paci teeth already, and he only has his for sleeps. I am thinking of on his 3rd b day letting them fly on balloons and getting rid of them, but i am sad for him.

And dentists say fluoride is healthy and that toothbrushing is the only way to prevent cavities, and OBs say that C-sections are necessary right and left and that pitocin is necessary and hurrying labor is necessary, and peds say vaccines are necessary, and circs are necessary, and weaning is necessary, and cio is necessary and and and...

Pat


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WuWei* 
And dentists say fluoride is healthy and that toothbrushing is the only way to prevent cavities, and OBs say that C-sections are necessary right and left and that pitocin is necessary and hurrying labor is necessary, and peds say vaccines are necessary, and circs are necessary, and weaning is necessary, and cio is necessary and and and...

Pat

No freaking kidding. I won't even go into the stupidness of people even here than think you have to pin a kid down and scower their teeth twice a day with nasty toothpaste to keep them out of the dentist chair.

This is going to sound totally snarky....but didn't you give the paci in the first place? Which you should have I might add if not able to nurse/satisfy sucking another way....I guarantee the kid won't be in highschool sucking on it. I wouldn't let someone else spoil your brain or ruin something important to your DC


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Well, I have sympathy for you. I, too, have a paci addict. I want to get rid of them, too, because we fight about them constantly. We had a deal that she only had them at night, then she started arguing with me about that all the time. So we renegotiated that she could have them for naps and night, and that wasn't enough either. Now I let her have them all the time, they get totally disgusting, she has a rash on her face where it rubs, and they fall apart very quickly. And then she nags me all day to go to the store to get new ones.

Not to mention that it makes her very hard to understand most of the time.

I know she wouldn't go for the paci fairy, she'd hide it in her pants like Kevin Henkes' Owen. I don't know what to do, either, but I'd appreciate some constructive advice on gently weaning your children off pacis. Anyone?


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## Collin'sMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *425lisamarie* 
No freaking kidding. I won't even go into the stupidness of people even here than think you have to pin a kid down and scower their teeth twice a day with nasty toothpaste to keep them out of the dentist chair.


Okay, maybe I'm stupid....but I honestly didn't know that it wasn't necessary to brush a child's teeth twice a day.

Isn't that what you're supposed to do?? I mean, besides serving a healthy diet?

(Sorry to go OT)


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## mcng (Oct 17, 2006)

This is the reason I never gave a paci to any of my children, but my nephew was a paci adict what my SIL did is cut a little hole on the tip and he gavve it up on his own


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *425lisamarie* 
This is going to sound totally snarky....but didn't you give the paci in the first place? Which you should have I might add if not able to nurse/satisfy sucking another way....

Yep, you're right. Sounds totally snarky.









Maybe your advice would be more helpful if we had a time machine . . . hmmm.


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collin'sMama* 
Okay, maybe I'm stupid....but I honestly didn't know that it wasn't necessary to brush a child's teeth twice a day.

Isn't that what you're supposed to do?? I mean, besides serving a healthy diet?

(Sorry to go OT)

I was kind of hoping the operative words were 'pinning & scouring'; mine brush voluntarily (with French olive leaf toothpaste). Nuttin' wrong with clean.


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## fuller2 (Nov 7, 2004)

A wise friend of mine said, "Braces are cheaper than 10 years of therapy," and I think she is right on. My son is almost 4, LOVES his binkie for sleeping and cuddling. He will use it until he wants to stop. Not a big deal anymore. (It was, briefly, but I decided not to worry about it. I do worry about the plastic/rubber in his mouth, but, sigh, the rest of his life is pretty organic so hopefully it won't matter.)

Just posted this link in another thread--pacifers have been around for a long long time. Seems like a pretty normal thing to do. I bet 'indigenous' cultures use them too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacifier


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

ITA with all the others about NOT trying to force the child to wean from the paci before he or she is ready.

It's not a habit, the child is not a binkie addict- you simply have a child who uses a pacifier for security.


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## mavery (Jun 3, 2005)

CLW for paci users!








It makes total sense to me.


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

Mine gave theirs up at 5 mo. when they started getting teeth. I guess it felt to weird to them after that.

I think I'd let him keep though, in your shoes, unless his teeth are becoming obviously crooked or something.

I know famlies who have special paces to sit in their homes -- designated as "this is where you go if you need to suck on your paci." My younger son's preschool had a designated beanbag chair. So the children had access all the time, but needed to sit in one place to get their paci-fix, and then had to put it away again before rejoining the fun. It helped the kids to keep their sessions short, and motivated the kids limit their paci use to when the really felt they needed it. I've often thought that was a good idea -- a cozy little "time in" cushion or something.

I remember my pacifier, actually. I had a receiving blanket that I loved as well, and they always went together in my mind. When I had to give up the paci, I at least got to keep the blanket. So I felt okay. Actually -- I still sleep with the little blanket







(I had several duplicates, which my mom rotated, and they all survived.)


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## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Frankly, I am not against anything that helps a child sleep. What I WOULD work on his having your DS get his own paci during the night instead of yelling for you, if it happens constantly throughout the night. A little nightlight or something, if there isn't one already, could be put in his room so that he could see it. . .I don't think you could attach it to him for safety reasons. Or wait (just thinking as I type), could you attach the paci somehow to a stuffed animal, something larger that would be easy to pick up if it fell?

One of my friends did have to get her DD to give up the paci. Her DD would actually chew holes in them within an hour (they tried ALL different kinds) and they were really afraid she was going to choke. Does this happen with your DS? I would think that would be a good reason to find a way to stop.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mcng* 
This is the reason I never gave a paci to any of my children, but my nephew was a paci adict what my SIL did is cut a little hole on the tip and he gavve it up on his own

To me this is akin to cutting the arms off a teddy bear and then saying the kid gave it up on their own because they stopped using it when the stuffing was falling out. We don't find it okay to mutilate the love objects of adults and I am not sure why it is okay for children.


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## ShaggyDaddy (Jul 5, 2006)

With the exception of the screaming for you to find it for him, I don't see why you want to control this behavior.

Here is what I would do:

Try to use pacifier clips to help him keep from losing the pacifier so he doesn't have to yell for you.

Make sure he is using an orthodontic pacifier (most brands are) to ensure he was not doing damage.

Work on my attitude that arbitrarily decided that 4 was too old, so that he can give them up or substitute a more age apropriate security item on his own schedule.

In our house we celebrate security items.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

For the posters who asked for gentle weaning ideas, I wanted to share our story.

Due to significant dental concerns (he had palate abnormalities that were beyond the run of the mill crooked teeth) our son needed to give up the pacifer. What we did was explain the situation the best we could. We looked at pictures of palates and we talked about why we needed to do something. We talked about what the pacifier was doing for him now and what strategies we could have for sleeping when it was gone.

And, we talked about a variety of ways for the pacifer to go. As they were objects that he really loved and that had helped him, they needed to be treated with respect. The often mentioned solutions - cutting them to bits, giving them to a new baby, dropping them off a bridge, throwing them in the trash would have been really hurtful to him. The solution we came upon was lovingly packing them into a box to send to grandma for safekeeping so someday when he was older he could look at them and remember how much they helped him. As he packed them he gave each one a final suck and a kiss and said a teary goodbye. We went to the post office and mailed them and he was really releived that they were gone at least until bedtime.

That day I gave him a substitute mouth option which was a vibrating teething star and I made up a little poem about how the star had come from the sky to be with him because he was doing a brave and difficult thing. We practiced taking deep breaths while hugging Teddy. The first night or two there were tears, but he made it through. The important for me was that in the process he always felt respected and that we understood why the pacifers were important to him. Too often parents demonize the pacifer "you don't need that nasty thing" "you look like a baby with that" and that is so unkind.

In the end I'd say he came through it feeling good about how he could be strong and do something hard. And, the changes in his palate within a few months were nothing short of astounding.


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## mcng (Oct 17, 2006)

I didn't suggest to cut the pacifier to bits just a little hole, honestly my nephew didn't even notice the hole it just wasn't as fun to tu suck on it anymore, what he did is he held it in his hand for naps and sleep so it was still a security object.

And the argument about braces beeing cheaper than therapy obviously comes from someone who didn't have braces in their life, braces are painfull and it's not something that I want my child to go through. And I still haven't heard of anybody needing 10 years of therapy because mommy took away his paci .

And we do brush teeth in our house not by pinning or scowering but I have to say sometimes my younger dd is not thrilled about it.


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## mom22girls (May 5, 2005)

I'm in the same boat with my soon to be 5yo. I hate that thing, but, I was a thumbsucker 'till 7 so.... Anyway, the deal with her is that she has two paci's, her regular and her emergency. If they're lost, they're lost. I will not buy another one. They're her responsibility. She can use it at night, in the AM until breakfast and for a chill-out period after school. It's the only thing in the house she constantly keeps track of...









ps - it's all well and good to convince a child to give up their paci in the light of day, but what happens in the dark of night when they need it but the paci-fairy has it????

-H


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

OT: Alternatives to tooth brushing for dental health.

http://www.dentalgentlecare.com/trident_research.htm

http://www.woodstockfirstnation.com/COHI.htm

http://www.westonaprice.org/healthis...oothbrush.html

http://yourreturn.blogspot.com/2005/...rstanding.html

There is an AP yahoogroup regarding alternatives for Very Young Kids Teeth:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group...oungkidsteeth/

The Invisible Toothbrush: http://www.westonaprice.org/healthis...oothbrush.html

Early Childhood Caries, Understanding the Cause and Treatment: http://yourreturn.blogspot.com/2005/...rstanding.html

Decay Preventing Gum: http://www.dentalgentlecare.com/trident_research.htm

There is a whole Dental forum with natural dental care alternatives: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...play.php?f=308
Curing Cavities with Nutrition: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=399989

HTH, Pat


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## lrlittle (Nov 11, 2005)

To the OP, just curious...why do you want him to not use it anymore? Why does it bother you?

I WANT ds to use one at night so that he'll stop waking up FIFTEEN. TIMES. PER. NIGHT.


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## jenkuh (Mar 31, 2006)

My DD is only 13 months old so I can't really talk from experience (even though she is a paci addict as well). I've heard of people going to Build a bear and putting the pacifier in the bear while the kids get to watch and pick out all the details etc. and then the bear is their new comfort item with the paci's inside...just an idea?


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

Here are some links for oral sensory toys:

http://www.southpawenterprises.com/s...l,Category.asp

http://www.new-vis.com/fym/pdf/papers/feeding.1.pdf

http://www.therapybookshop.com/categ...ry=Oral%20Toys

http://autismshop.com/store/customer...cat=304&page=3

http://www.chewytubes.com/

Here is information about oral sensitivities characteristics and resources: http://www.sensory-processing-disord...itivities.html

Here is information about the dangers of phthalates in soft plastic and how to choose safely. http://www.phthalates.org/yourhealth/childrens_toys.asp

Pat


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

My son was a complete pacifier kid. By the time he was 3 it was just for at-home naps and bedtime. He didn't use it at preschool (where he napped 3 times a week) or any other time. Beyond weaning down to that point, I left it completely up to him. One day, soon after he turned 4, he looked at me and said, "I don't need this anymore" and threw his collection in the trash. Never looked back, never cried, never asked for them again.

To me, this is a compelling demonstration that kids use pacifiers because they do have a need -- be it sucking or security or whatever. And they know when the time is right to move on. If you can respect that, this is really easy -- he'll decide and it will be done.


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## straighthaircurly (Dec 17, 2005)

If it is causing dental issues then I would look to get rid of it. We did the binky fairy in our house. I mentioned it one evening to my son but just said when he was ready to give his nu-nus to the nu-nu fairy we could do that (and yes, the fairy would leave him presents...jump on me for bribery if you want). A few weeks later he brought it up and said he was ready. We bagged them up and put them in a tree. The next day he was very excited to see his gifts in the tree. He had a couple weeks where he would ask for his nu-nu in times of stress and I told him he could put the presents back in the tree and the fairy would return his nu-nus but he decided against it each time.

About 8 months later he started chewing and sucking on things like his shirts or lips or hands. I started pulling out his old teethers and it helped. So we got him a chewy stick from the Autism Shop. He uses it occasionally when he really has the urge.


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## Babes in arms (Sep 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenkuh* 
My DD is only 13 months old so I can't really talk from experience (even though she is a paci addict as well). I've heard of people going to Build a bear and putting the pacifier in the bear while the kids get to watch and pick out all the details etc. and then the bear is their new comfort item with the paci's inside...just an idea?
















:

I was just going to suggest that.


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## straighthaircurly (Dec 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
Think about something that is important to you. How would you feel if someone took it away from you, called you a baby for wanting it?

My question is what harm is it causing especially if it is limited to night or naps?

I'm against the binky fairy. I think it is manipulative and not cool. Kids that age tend to not understand time that well and may be coaxed into participation when it isn't something they really understand the long term consequences of.

I agree that they don't necessarily understand the long term of it. But when my son chose to do the binky fairy (I actually wasn't ready for him to give it up...I figured a little longer would be fine) and then later had regrets I gave him the reverse option. He could return the toys and get his binky back. He didn't want to do that and quickly became accustomed to no binky. Now if a parent announces one day that the binky fairy is going to come and that's it, or nag their kids to choose the binky fairy option, then I disagree with it.


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## BumbleBena (Mar 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jenkuh* 
My DD is only 13 months old so I can't really talk from experience (even though she is a paci addict as well). I've heard of people going to Build a bear and putting the pacifier in the bear while the kids get to watch and pick out all the details etc. and then the bear is their new comfort item with the paci's inside...just an idea?

I like that idea! FTR, I had a security blanket until I was sixteen.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mcng* 
I didn't suggest to cut the pacifier to bits just a little hole, honestly my nephew didn't even notice the hole it just wasn't as fun to tu suck on it anymore, what he did is he held it in his hand for naps and sleep so it was still a security object.

If you Google you'll find that even poking holes in it isn't recommended as it can be a choking hazard. Anyone undertaking this approach should be aware of that danger.

And, I have to say while of course kids are different I find what you are describing to be impossible to really understand unless the child is really young. My son's response would have been "my pacifer seems to be defective let's go to Target and buy a new one."

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mcng* 
And the argument about braces beeing cheaper than therapy obviously comes from someone who didn't have braces in their life, braces are painfull and it's not something that I want my child to go through. And I still haven't heard of anybody needing 10 years of therapy because mommy took away his paci .

We are in the middle of braces right now and I agree it is an undertaking. It is expensive and it is painful and especially hard for kids with sensory problems. That said, I'm hoping most kids have MUCH better emotional resources for handling braces by age 10 than they would have to get rid of the pacifer at two.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

I think our son would have felt totally tormented by the Build a Bear thing. So close to what he wanted but he still couldn't have it. And, I suspect we would have found him at 2 a.m. in the kitchen with a knife or a pair of scissors trying to get at it!


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## Arien (Sep 20, 2004)

Thank you everyone, I'll just chill out on the paci, it definitely bothers me more than it bothers my son! I'll look at it as a security object and when he's ready, hopefully he'll drop the use of it on his own (though he is 4 years old!!). Everyone has had good suggestions/tips. I'm not going to do the binky fairy, or try to talk him out of using it, the rules are set, paci at night and for naps.


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Well my son(3 next month) has teeth issues ALREADY, tho the dentist did tell me if I took paci away by a year they would probably correct itself and he wouldnt suffer damage. I have a GREAT ped dentist who never even told me to take the paci away, just told me that my sons teeth will suffer. They already are, anyone could see it.(they protrude and dont close right). So I am taking it away pretty soon, I dont want him to have a lot of work to be done to his teeth, and if that makes me bad, i dont care lol.


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## mcng (Oct 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
I think our son would have felt totally tormented by the Build a Bear thing. So close to what he wanted but he still couldn't have it. And, I suspect we would have found him at 2 a.m. in the kitchen with a knife or a pair of scissors trying to get at it!

OMG I spilled my water all over the keyboard just imagining a 4yo stabbing a bear


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## jillc512 (Aug 31, 2005)

I needed this post! My 3yo loves his nuks (just for nap and bed as well, or the occasional 'rest' in his bed if he's feeling out of sorts), and it's starting to drive DH crazy (I was ready to be rid of them about a year ago, but have since surrendered to thier power







). I'll push for letting DS "self-wean" after reading all of this. Also, since he was breastfed, I'm hoping the benefits of that on his jaw development will outweigh most negative effects of the paci.

I sucked on my fingers until I was 6 or 7, and I remember my uncle trying to give me $20 if I could stop when I was 5 (I couldn't







). I guess I was lucky that my security object couldn't be taken away...And, yes, I did have braces, but so did my younger sister who didn't suck her thumb or fingers or paci.

I think I heard on this board awhile back: "Mental health over dental health!"


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## ShabbyChic (Feb 24, 2003)

I know this is n ot what you want to hear, but get over it. My 5 1/2 year old DD still has hers at night. A very respected educational genius, IMO told me something recently that made me just move on from the whole issue. She told me that DD having her comfort at night is what allows her to be the "extraordinary" human she is during the day. We all have fears and vices, WHATEVER they may be. They make up our whole person. I think my DD is an amazing human. She is strong and kind and caring and sweet and brilliant and if she needs her paci to help her maintain her sanity then so be it. Would I like to see her move on? Sure. And she will. I can guarantee it.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaduck* 
I know famlies who have special paces to sit in their homes -- designated as "this is where you go if you need to suck on your paci." My younger son's preschool had a designated beanbag chair. So the children had access all the time, but needed to sit in one place to get their paci-fix, and then had to put it away again before rejoining the fun. It helped the kids to keep their sessions short, and motivated the kids limit their paci use to when the really felt they needed it. I've often thought that was a good idea -- a cozy little "time in" cushion or something.

Thank you for this suggestion! I really like this idea, and am going to try and institute it tomorrow.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

from someone whose 20 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) year old sister still sucks her thumb- just let it go! I am convinced that the harsh 'weaning' techniques (everything from bandaids and bitter stuff to a wire the dentist put in across the roof of her mouth) my pediatrician mom imposed on her from ages 5-15 did nothing but cement the addiction further. comfort suckling=stress relief therefore stress (often)=more comfort suckling. She ended up with braces on both top and bottom and TMJ anyways.


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## **guest** (Jun 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
I think our son would have felt totally tormented by the Build a Bear thing. So close to what he wanted but he still couldn't have it. And, I suspect we would have found him at 2 a.m. in the kitchen with a knife or a pair of scissors trying to get at it!

we haven't used a paci, but dd would be totally tormented if i were to put her favorite object inside a toy bear!

once i got her one of those rubber balls that was transparent and there was a toy frog inside. *i* thought it would be fun. nope. pure torment







. so close, and yet impossible to get.


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

Quote:

Due to significant dental concerns (he had palate abnormalities that were beyond the run of the mill crooked teeth) our son needed to give up the pacifer.
Roar, what kind of palate abnormalities? My DD has an abnormally shaped palate too (bubble palate, they call it, and it made BF hell) and now I feel a bit concerned. She is 3 and continues to use a paci at night and for nap (I have no current plans to try to wean her off it). Her teeth look okay, though.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *loraxc* 
Roar, what kind of palate abnormalities? My DD has an abnormally shaped palate too (bubble palate, they call it, and it made BF hell) and now I feel a bit concerned. She is 3 and continues to use a paci at night and for nap (I have no current plans to try to wean her off it). Her teeth look okay, though.

He has hypotonia and his palate didn't form properly - it is called a high arched palate. Fortunatley he was able to nurse okay. We were told from the time he was three that orthodontia would probably be necessary. His palate is such that it was the kind of thing that anyone looking in his mouth could easily spot. I just wanted orthodontia and not the stuff like breaking the jaw and other such cruelties. He now has orthodontia and it has been working well. It will be a long process though. The goal isn't really to get good looking teeth (though that is happening in the process) but to make sure he can chew, etc. without pain.


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## LelanisMom1 (Dec 9, 2006)

BOTH DDs use pacis. I see no need to take them away. They aren't damaging their teeth because I have been told by the dentist that their teeth are perfectley healthy!


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## Hazelnut (Sep 14, 2005)

Well I understand the frustration. I've got a 3.5 yo who loves his paci. He was a major major sucker/nurser all night, and the paci saved me b/c I couldn't sleep with him constantly latched on. I didn't know it would become a full blown addiciton. I don't think you should feel you have to chill out on it if it bothers you. It's hard to deal with for 3+ years. I don't understand some of these responses- I don't see you trying to rob your child of comfort items. Pacifiers can be problematic for several reasons.

Every step has been hard, and we had to take steps or he'd have it all day and talk through it. Until we broke the daytime habit, I had a hard time hiding my irritation with hearing him talk through a pacifier. I am letting him continue using it at night, because the time we went cold turkery(he wanted to try and sleep without it) he slept horribly for an entire week til I suggested he try it again. Something to keep in mind. Right now we have a strict bedtime only paci rule, b/c I do want to be gentle about it. BUT I have to be a little strict too- if he wants it he has to go to the bed and chill. It used to be the couch too, but he'd just run to the couch any time I saw him with it, so it didn't work so well.

About the teeth issue- yes dentists don't know it all, but I had a major overbite growing up ( I sucked my thumb til kindergarten, coincidence? uh maybe. I doubt it.) and braces for two years, so it's not something I'm want to take my chances on. My son already has a slight overbite, and I don't think it's entirely out-of-this world to think that the paci is a possible cause. Our dentist did say the teeth will go back once the paci is given up. The fact that they are already slightly malformed is making me anxious. An overbite for ten years before you can get braces is not fun, trust me. And braces are expensive. From what I've read experts disagree on whether or not it causes an overbite.

So I say, keep trying, sometimes you have to be pretty firm for mini transitions, but don't even try cold turkey. It's obviously not nice, and I don't think it works well anyway. I completely hear your frustration. With ds2 I am trying to slowly wean him off of any lingering daytime use b/c now I know that it only gets harder.


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