# Is a D&C inevitable at 10 weeks along?



## funnybunny (May 16, 2002)

I haven't even been to the midwife yet for this pregnancy and now I'm losing it. Am I still at the point that this can just be handled at home?

I really have no experience with this issue and my call to the midwife to get her advice was unsuccessful because the office is closed.

Obviously, heavy bleeding would require a trip to the hospital, but barring that, can I just deal with this sad business on my own?

Thanks for any advice you can give.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

Yeah, but it depends on a number of factors. Sometimes a blighted ovum won't resolve on its own for a decent amount of time.

And if you do decide to forgo the D&C, be prepared to potentially pass what is strongly recognizable as a sac.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

I don't have any advice....I just wanted to say I'm sorry, you must be so sad and scared.


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

I miscarried a couple of years ago at 13 weeks and I did not need a D&C. I passed a sweet tiny baby and a small placenta. I ended up hemorrhaging and transferring for that, but I passed my little one at home.

I am so sorry you are facing this. Be gentle with yourself.


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## funnybunny (May 16, 2002)

Thank you so much for the kind words. I am sad and surprised that I know so little about this process.

As always, these forums are an excellent resource. I am so grateful for the information here.


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## jaclyn7 (Jun 9, 2005)

I am so sorry.

I don't think a D&C in inevitable, my miscarriage happened right around the start of my 11th week without one. I did end up going to the hospital for excessive bleeding and not really being comfortable with what would or wouldn't happen next, though.

Peace


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## gentleearthmama (Jan 2, 2008)

So sorry you are going through this.
I miscarried at home at 13 weeks, naturally.
I put a colander over the toliet so I would be able to catch the baby in it and say goodbye.
Have your midwife come over and look when you pass what you think is the sac and placenta to make sure everything came out.
Even if it doesn't all come out (Part of the placenta came out with my next period), it should when you have another period. Unless you feel signs of infection (fever, etc) you don't need to go in. Or unless you hemmorage, of course. Talk to your midwife about safe amount of blood loss.
Hugs to you.


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## MamabearTo4 (May 31, 2006)

I'm sorry, dear.

You can absolutely do this safely at home. The posters above have given great advice. The only thing I would add is for you to watch your pulse. That was the greatest gem of advice my midwife gave me. If your pulse starts to race, you've lost too much blood and you need to go in. Knowing that got me through some questionable moments in the first couple of hours, but I was able to stay home and birth my baby. I birthed at 10.5 week boy at 14.5 weeks.

You've been blessed to not know much about this.







I'm sorry you're here now.

Best of luck to you. Peace and love...


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

If no excessive bleeding and no sign of infection- it's fine to stay home.

I m/c a late blighted ovum at home without problem.

-Angela


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## ktmama (Jan 21, 2004)

I m/c last month at 9w4d and it took five weeks of spotting/bleeding. I had two intense episodes of cramping and passing clots, but no *baby* to speak of. I found reading the sticky in this forum on what to expect and look for extremely helpful to me. I did my whole process naturally with the exception of using some herbs for two days to intensify my cramping.


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

i miscarried at 14weeks and did it all at home. I did hemorrhage, and went to the hospital afterwards, but I passed everything at home.


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## freestyler (Jan 28, 2005)

I'm so very sorry about your loss. I lost our baby in February at 11 weeks. Hugs to you, and good healing vibes once you are through it all. Please remember you are in the right place---we are here for you. I like the advice these mammas have given.

I'm putting in my 2 cents---I opted for the D&C because I did not NOT NOT want to deal with the possibility of excessive bleeding, and checking my pulse, and checking for, ummm, placenta/tissue, and all the other things. I did not want to bleed excessively and think about blood transfusions, etc. And we have four kids----I needed to NOT be walking around bleeding and scared to death and just more traumatized than I was already from losing our precious fifth child.

The D&C was SO fast and easy, and to be honest, I REALLY liked the small amount of sedative/tranquilizer I got in my IV before the procedure. Damn was it nice to just have an hour of total relaxation, and no more sadness and mental pain, because I had had ENOUGH mental anguish already. I liked that I had minimal bleeding after the procedure, and ZERO cramping and ZERO pain afterwards. What of course was awful was coming home from the hospital empty, just empty, no more baby, not even the baby's body inside anymore. But I would have felt that way after a natural m/c too, the process just would have taken longer.

All in all, and under the circumstances, the D&C was the BEST part of this whole sad, terrible business of losing our baby. Because you know, it was nice not to have to do it alone. I mean, I had my OB and doula (for moral support) and DH there, and the anesthesia was really light and you're only out for like 15 minutes. No nausea, no bad side effects, nothing scary or bad at all. Well, except just the whole fact of having a m/c to begin with. It was nice to have someone to check my vitals, bring me warm blankets, bring me juice, and wait on me hand and foot all day. At home, I would have tried to be strong and do everything alone, and would have ended up scared and without much support and calling my OB in a panic every 30 mintues. For like days.

I am 100% about natural birth and so on, but somehow this process....I wanted it done more quickly, safely and in a controlled environment.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Just to put up the other side (I completely respect every woman's individual choice- it is very difficult and very individual)

I did not want to worry about going to the hospital. Finding someone to watch dd. Being poked and prodded. The risks of the drugs. The risk to future fertility. The infection risk for just BEING in a hospital. etc.

For *me* a d&c would have been TERRIBLY, HORRIBLY traumatic. As it was, it stunk, but it was peaceful and private.










-Angela


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## TayTaysMama (Oct 16, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss.

I miscarried naturally at home at 12 weeks with a blighted ovum. When I passed the placenta I just made sure it was whole and saved it to show my MW. I wish I had thought of the colander, that is a good idea. I had no problems with bleeding too much and it was nice to be at home in my own environment.

As weird as it sounds, I hope it goes easy for you.


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## i0lanthe (Aug 1, 2005)

I'm sorry for your loss.
While I had a no-complaints d&c experience like freestyler's, my OB did say that it was _up to me_ whether to have one (no h/b at 10 weeks; baby measuring 8 weeks on u/s, so, someone told me, probably had passed away a week before.) I hope everyone's advice is helping. Be gentle with yourself


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## mommytoKRA (Mar 11, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I miscarried just shy of 12 weeks. My husband and I discussed our options and we opted for a D&C. In many ways I am glad that we went that route, and now with the benefit of age, wisdom, education and of course thinking the situation over for so long, there are parts of me that wish we hadn't. It is never an easy decision. The one thing I will point out that I don't like about the D&C is on my medical file it now says something about abortion (- spontaneous abortion.) It erks me that this would be there. As I associate abortion with murder & that is not what happened. I have been told they don't put this when you miscary at home (please correct if wrong)

What ever you choose. I wish you the best of luck & a speedy recovery. Again I am sorry for your loss.


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## i0lanthe (Aug 1, 2005)

mommytoKRA, I think "spontaneous a." is just techno-speak for any miscarriage (and also "embryonic demise" for some kinds of miscarriage... I saw both of these used somewhat interchangeably in my paperwork and decided that they both suck to have to look at. I'm not at the point where I can feel like one of them sucks less KWIM?, I just turn into waterworks for either.)


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

I recently miscarried at 10 weeks. I passed the pregnancy "materials" mostly at home, but I lost so much blood that I ended up in the ER. ALL of my miscarriages have been extremely bloody - guess that's just how it goes for ME. This last time I was hemorrhaging (narrowly escaped a blood transf.), and even after the curretage (dilation not needed b/c I was already fully dilated from the "labor") my uterus wasn't contracting down on itself to stop the bleeding. My OB had to manually massage my uterus. Ugh.

I'm glad I had the curretage b/c the bleeding after the procedure was minimal. After 3 miscarriages in a row . . . I was glad to not endure weeks of heavy bleeding.

colander - good idea! That would have come in handy.


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## glendora (Jan 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommytoKRA* 
I have been told they don't put this when you miscary at home (please correct if wrong)

You've been told incorrectly.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

SAB is just horrifically insensitive male-driven medical terminology. It's the medical "catch all" for any type of terminated pregnancy that is not considered stillbirth whether intentional or not.


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *freestyler* 
I'm so very sorry about your loss. I lost our baby in February at 11 weeks. Hugs to you, and good healing vibes once you are through it all. Please remember you are in the right place---we are here for you. I like the advice these mammas have given.

I'm putting in my 2 cents---I opted for the D&C because I did not NOT NOT want to deal with the possibility of excessive bleeding, and checking my pulse, and checking for, ummm, placenta/tissue, and all the other things. I did not want to bleed excessively and think about blood transfusions, etc. And we have four kids----I needed to NOT be walking around bleeding and scared to death and just more traumatized than I was already from losing our precious fifth child.

The D&C was SO fast and easy, and to be honest, I REALLY liked the small amount of sedative/tranquilizer I got in my IV before the procedure. Damn was it nice to just have an hour of total relaxation, and no more sadness and mental pain, because I had had ENOUGH mental anguish already. I liked that I had minimal bleeding after the procedure, and ZERO cramping and ZERO pain afterwards. What of course was awful was coming home from the hospital empty, just empty, no more baby, not even the baby's body inside anymore. But I would have felt that way after a natural m/c too, the process just would have taken longer.

All in all, and under the circumstances, the D&C was the BEST part of this whole sad, terrible business of losing our baby. Because you know, it was nice not to have to do it alone. I mean, I had my OB and doula (for moral support) and DH there, and the anesthesia was really light and you're only out for like 15 minutes. No nausea, no bad side effects, nothing scary or bad at all. Well, except just the whole fact of having a m/c to begin with. It was nice to have someone to check my vitals, bring me warm blankets, bring me juice, and wait on me hand and foot all day. At home, I would have tried to be strong and do everything alone, and would have ended up scared and without much support and calling my OB in a panic every 30 mintues. For like days.

I am 100% about natural birth and so on, but somehow this process....I wanted it done more quickly, safely and in a controlled environment.

I COMPLETELY agree with everything you said! This is why I chose the D&C this time as well and I"m glad I did. I've had both a natural m/c and surgery and I'd pick the surgery experience anyday.







to you mama.
PS I had a totally natural childbirth with my DS and will again if I ever carry a child to term.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm sorry.







It's an individual choice that each woman faces. I chose to miscarry at home (well, not home really because I was visiting family) without ever going to the doctor. This was in 2006 and I was 11/12 weeks along but I have no idea of gestational age because I never had an u/s. It was the right decision for me.


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## funnybunny (May 16, 2002)

Thanks again to everyone for recounting your experiences. Today has been emotionally better, but I'm waiting around for the other shoe to drop in terms of (how to say delicately?) expulsion of what I'm now thinking of as the remains.

So far it has just been a large gush of amniotic fluid and some blood yesterday. Today - almost nothing. Surely there is more to it than this? Perhaps the dilation hasn't occurred yet?

Sorry if that is way too much information.

I did hear back from my midwife who ordered me into the hospital upon a rise in my temp or soaking of pads at more than one per half hour, but I didn't expect this sudden let up.

A surgeon friend has weighed in that I should get myself in front of a doctor and into the stirrups right away lest these dreaded tissues rebel and lead to a serious infection. Surely I am not being to cavalier? I'm checking my temperature, resting, drinking liquids...


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## railyuh (Jun 29, 2005)

It sounds like you are taking care of yourself. ((hugs)) mama

I had a m/c at 11/12 weeks in December. I started having contractions in the evening and passed some fluid and blood, then the contractions seemed to stop and I went to bed. I woke up early the next morning with more intense contractions and I continued to labor and pass tissue/clots for the rest of the day. It was quite different from my first m/c (that was around 7 weeks and basically passed everything all at once in a 30-40 minute period from first contraction to the end). I have a friend who m/c around 11 weeks as well and it took her 3 days before she passed everything. So it can be different for everyone and for different pregnancies. I don't think what you are describing is anything abnormal.

I did see a doctor a few days after I started spotting and they did an u/s to confirm that I was m/c. He was comfortable with me m/c at home and offered to give me a script for pain meds, which I refused. He also asked me to come see him as a follow up within a week (he was fairly certain the m/c would happen soon, and it did within just a few days). At my return checkup he didn't do a physical exam or u/s, just talked to me and made sure we were doing okay (the best experience I've ever had with an OB).

I just share all that to let you know that I don't think you are being cavalier at all. It sucks, but these things happen and if you prefer to stay home and let things happen naturally that is generally safe. It would be best to have someone with you, especially if you start cramping heavily and passing a lot of blood and clots, partly because of the emotional aspect but also in case you did need to get some help. Some docs might want you in the hospital or recommend a d&C, but some, like the one I saw, are completely comfortable with you letting things happen on their own.

Just make sure you take care of yourself and that you have someone around to help you if needed. I hope that this happens quickly for you and without complication, but even after the physical part is over I know there is a lot of emotional stuff to deal with too.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I lost my twins at 11 weeks along last February (blighted ovums, so they weren't that big...) their birth story is on the same post as Rivers, here.


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## mountainborn (Sep 27, 2006)

Hugs to you. I'm so sorry. You've already gotten a lot of feedback but I wanted to weigh in and say I don't think that you are being cavalier, stay connected with your midwife and go in if you bleed excessively or begin to run a fever - also with my 11 week m/c my midwife tested my hormone levels to make sure they were going down. I've had two at home m/c, one at around 7 weeks and one at 11 weeks.

For me, and everyone's needs are different at different times, there was something about going through the pain at home and also about seeing recognizable placenta and sac that made the whole thing real to me. I think early miscarriages can be very hard because we tell ourselves, Oh it was "just" X number of weeks...and sometimes later it is hard to believe it really happened, yet the emotional pain is real and still there. In a very sad but strangely good way I also felt like I got the homebirth I was planning.

The colander idea is an excellent one, I don't know why I never thought of that...I hope I never again have the need to use it.

Peace to you, be kind to yourself during this time, and always.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

My first mc was at home, and was relatively straighforward. I thought I could do the same thing second time round, but ended up rushing to ER in the middle of the night.

I don't think you can tell in advance, but if you feel that you're losing too much blood, err on the side of caution. I waited it out to give dh time to get the kids to bed, but with hindsight it was pretty risky leaving it as long as I did. It took me weeks to recover physically because I'd lost such a lot of blood and had such a hard time.

Just stay home and listen to your instincts. My first mc was peaceful and loving, in a very sad way. I'd take that over the hospital experience any day, but some things in life you simply cannot control.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

How are things going now? I hope things have progressed since your last update. The waiting part is not fun.

I had a natural m/c and my sac was 10 wks when it stopped growing. I'm guessing the placenta was about that size as well. Yes, your cervix will have to dilate a bit to expel it. My placenta was about 3 inches long by 2 inches wide, to give you an idea. I had pretty intense cramping for about 3 hours. I needed to use my husband for support in the last hour when my cervix was dilating.

I think you are fine waiting as long as there are no signs of infection. I waited for months and months. When I was spotting (w/ potentially an open cervix) I avoided sex and was extra careful not to introduce infection to the area.


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## funnybunny (May 16, 2002)

Not much more to report, I'm just waiting. I'll probably feel strong enough emotionally to go back to work in a day or two. If this situation doesn't resolve itself by then, I'm going to feel a little strange going back to work knowing that I'm not "done," but what can you do? I'm sure women do it all the time, though.

Again, thanks for all the kindness here, it is so appreciated.


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## jaclyn7 (Jun 9, 2005)

I am so sorry that it's still going on, do you have to go back to work or can you take a few more days?

I lucked out that my miscarriage happened right around a break, so I ended up only missing a few days at school but I still haven't gone back to work yet. Hugs to you, I know I couldn't handle it and luckily my bosses have been made it really easy, but then again I'm a part-timer with luckily no bills that DH's salary can't cover


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## Kayda's Mom (Feb 5, 2007)

My experience sounds very similar to one of the above posters. I went to the hospital when I started bleeding and had an u/s the next day that confirmed the worst. Our baby had died. The u/s showed that our baby was still in me. I went to my gync the next day (I have a midwife but needed to see a gync) and she suggested a D&C that she would do the following day.
It was explained to me that if I were to let things happen on their own that it could take up to five weeks. That there was a risk of infection. That the blood loss could send me to the hospital. That I could end up having a D&C anyway. Since we wanted to TTC asap that we would have to wait even longer.
I was very concered about not knowing when the time would come and I had to return to work at some point. Plus I had to carry on with life and look after my other two children and do everyday things such as grocery shop. I was worried that I would go somewhere and start cramping and pass our baby in a grocery store toilet or something. And then what would I do? DH was concerned that I would pass it in a toilet and not realize it.
The hospital offered a cremation service and our baby has been scattered in a "garden of hope" in a cemetary where my grandparents are. The cemetary is erecting a wall in the near future and we will be able to purchase a small plaque with our baby's name on it.
I am a big natural birth person and had a great home delivery with my second daughter. So how ironic that I was at the hospital and doctor for days having everybody looking in there. The D&C itself was not traumatic thank goodness. Whatever it is they sedated me with put me into a deep sleep. I had no pain afterwards and less bleeding than I expected.

Naturally/D&C...it is all what you feel is right for yourself and your situation. The most important thing is to make sure you are healthy and safe.


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## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

wishing you peace and comfort in these rough days....

i have birthed at home many 2 times now. The last was feb 11, and i was 15 weeks with a 12 week baby. I did bleed a lot, but my body knew what to do. I got to see, hold and bury my baby, which is what i needed to do

The time before that I was 21 weeks, and baby died around 17 weeks. I birthed at home with him as well. I bled a lot then and i do with every birth. My son was born at home, i got to spend time with him, before the mortuary came to get him.

In between the 2 home losses, i birthed a baby at 18 weeks and when he died,i chose to be induced. this was about 5 months after my 21 week baby was born. It is what I needed then, and it was a good thing, because my placenta was coming out in peices and i had to have an emergency d&c

you will know what you need, when you need it. Just listen to thast voice. This is YOUR experience and you need to do waht you need to do...

HUGS!!!


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *freestyler* 
I'm putting in my 2 cents---I opted for the D&C because I did not NOT NOT want to deal with the possibility of excessive bleeding, and checking my pulse, and checking for, ummm, placenta/tissue, and all the other things. I did not want to bleed excessively and think about blood transfusions, etc. And we have four kids----I needed to NOT be walking around bleeding and scared to death and just more traumatized than I was already from losing our precious fifth child.

The D&C was SO fast and easy, and to be honest, I REALLY liked the small amount of sedative/tranquilizer I got in my IV before the procedure. Damn was it nice to just have an hour of total relaxation, and no more sadness and mental pain, because I had had ENOUGH mental anguish already. I liked that I had minimal bleeding after the procedure, and ZERO cramping and ZERO pain afterwards. What of course was awful was coming home from the hospital empty, just empty, no more baby, not even the baby's body inside anymore. But I would have felt that way after a natural m/c too, the process just would have taken longer.

All in all, and under the circumstances, the D&C was the BEST part of this whole sad, terrible business of losing our baby. Because you know, it was nice not to have to do it alone. I mean, I had my OB and doula (for moral support) and DH there, and the anesthesia was really light and you're only out for like 15 minutes. No nausea, no bad side effects, nothing scary or bad at all. Well, except just the whole fact of having a m/c to begin with. It was nice to have someone to check my vitals, bring me warm blankets, bring me juice, and wait on me hand and foot all day. At home, I would have tried to be strong and do everything alone, and would have ended up scared and without much support and calling my OB in a panic every 30 mintues. For like days.

I am 100% about natural birth and so on, but somehow this process....I wanted it done more quickly, safely and in a controlled environment.

Having done it both ways (D&C with a baby that died at 11 weeks, natural m/c at 6 weeks) I agree with (and identify with) this post. My natural m/c was fine and I do not regret it, but for me - _and I only speak for me_ - walking around after the ultrasound that showed no heartbeat, possibly for weeks, knowing that had only death inside me.... was emotional torture. Torture. The doctor said I could decide which route to take, there was no rush to decide - and I thought about it for several days before deciding on the D&C.

People have sometimes accused D&C-takers of "taking the easy way out." There's _nothing_ easy about pregnancy loss either way. Some people find more comfort and closure from doing it one way, others from doing it the other.

Scientifically, the Cochrane review of the evidence I found shows that the risks of both methods are "different but equal" - in that each has risks, and one is not riskier than the other even if the risks are different, and it should be up to the woman who is going through the loss to decide which ones she'll face.


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## MommaHeather (Mar 1, 2008)

I'm not sure where you are at... but this place really makes me feel not so alone. I just had a miscarriage yesterday. I had talked to my midwife who told me about DnC, but I decided not to go to the hospital. It sounded cold an uncaring. And, then I discovered that many states do not allow you to take the remains of our children home.

So, I went into a full blown labor for two hours, then passed the sac with a little baby in it. We named it Luz. We had a ceremony and burial. He is missed. I hope that your experience was with lots of support.


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## funnybunny (May 16, 2002)

I was wrong.

I called a somewhat random OB's office the Monday following what I thought was the start of my m/c only to discover by ultrasound that the baby was still alive. Needless to say, it was a shock.

It took weeks to get the higher resolution u/s scheduled and then another week to get the radiologist's report, but the cause of the bleeding was placenta previa. I still can't believe that with the volume of blood and fluid loss I experienced everything could still be okay, but I'm not going to question this gift.

Placenta previa isn't great, but I'll take it compared with the state I thought I was in a few weeks ago. I can't thank everyone here enough for their support.

Looking back, I do wish I had gone in as soon as I realized something was very wrong, but I was so afraid of being pressured into a D&C and there didn't seem to be any hope of still carrying a live baby after that day.

Blessings to you all-


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!


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