# Twins' Birthday Party Etiquette Question



## chamomeleon (Jun 6, 2005)

My son is invited to a birthday party for a set of twins who are in his preschool class. This is our first "twin" b-day party, and I'm wondering - should we bring a gift for each twin? We're on a pretty strict budget, but if I were a twin I wouldn't want to feel shortchanged every year on my birthday! For those of you who have or know twins, what do you do?

Thanks!


----------



## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

Yes, you bring a present for both children. Or, you could get a joint gift - like a game they could both play. But, to be on the safe side, each child gets a gift.


----------



## lovemyfamily6 (Dec 27, 2006)

I have twins and while we always do some big gifts as joint gifts (their party is next Saturday and their getting a sand/water table together), we also make sure they have gifts to open individually. It's not a big deal to dh and I if someone buys us a gift to share. Either he opens it or I do. But it's pretty hard to open a gift literally together, and kids love doing that.

Also, if you know their likes/dislikes, I wouldn't feel the need to buy them the same thing. Ours end up getting a lot of the same stuff because they both like many of the same things (this year their each getting magna tiles and two different Backyardigan's DVD's). But if you know their interests, getting something different is cool too. I always feel kind of bad when mine are opening presents and get the same thing because we open things one person at a time and the other one knows what he's getting before opening. Now that they're getting a little older, they're starting to have some of their own specific interests, so it's nice to get different gifts.

We also reciperocate and each boy buys a gift for the birthday friend (we've only had one birthday party they went to so far). Just like I want other people to think of them as individuals when giving a gift, I want to make sure we remember they're individuals when buying a gift and each one gets to choose something.


----------



## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

yes, the twin parties we have went to we always brought each child a gift.


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

We seem to be surrounded by twins (mostly identical, ironically, so I can't blame it on fertility drugs!). Mostly we bring a small gift for each. For one party we bought the game Hullabaloo (one of my favorites) because they're active kids and I figured they'd like it and be able to play it together.

So, if your budget is really tight, I'd suggest one small each or a slightly larger game that they can both do. Bookstores often have a clearance table that allows you to get two nice books for $10 or so.


----------



## cpop (May 3, 2006)

I don't know. I think you need to get both kids a gift. I don't see why they wouldn't each get the same kind of gift any other child would get on their birthday.
If you usually get a small gift for a b-day present for kids in your kids class then get a small gift. Otherwise just get them each the same kind of gift you would get a single kid.
But then if my twins go to a birthday party, they bring two gifts or one pretty big one.


----------



## chamomeleon (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:

We also reciperocate and each boy buys a gift for the birthday friend (we've only had one birthday party they went to so far). Just like I want other people to think of them as individuals when giving a gift, I want to make sure we remember they're individuals when buying a gift and each one gets to choose something.
This was exactly what made me think of the question - my son's birthday party was yesterday and the twins were invited. They brought one gift from both boys. I have no problem at all with that - we only know the family from preschool and we certainly have enough toys!

My instinct was to bring both boys a small gift, so I think I'll go with that. Thanks for the suggestions!


----------



## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

If you're on a tight budget, then get 2 less expensive gifts- buy definitely every birthday child gets a gift, if you're giving gifts at all.

I wouldn't do a "joint gift" for preschoolers- though older children might appreciate bigger gifts to share.


----------



## Lolagirl (Jan 7, 2008)

I have twins, and I would definitely recommend that you get each of them their own gifts. My husband's friends are frankly terrible about getting my two boys one single gift for their Birthdays, and honestly I've started either taking them back or getting a second duplicate of the gift. A single gift simply causes too much conflict between the two of them, because they end up fighting over the toy or book or whatever it is. I mean, if there were two siblings you knew who were not born on the same date would you only buy one of them a gift on his Birthday and get nothing for the second child's Birthday?

There are plenty of small things you can get for the two of them individually. Matchbox cars only cost a few dollars, the small Magnadoodles are around $8, or better yet books are always a great gift.

Hope that helps!


----------



## LynnE73 (Oct 18, 2002)

A kid can never have too many markers and paper pads! It makes a nice joint gift too.


----------



## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

I have a set amount that I'm willing to spend on a birthday gift. (and try to collect suitable on-sale gifts through the year that are cool, but still within the budget, that I can use later for 'free'.)

My philosophy as a guest is that especially if everyone's in the same class, if I was going to accept the party invites then if they weren't twins I'd have to buy two gifts anyway.

However, as a mom of twins, I'm not offended when people just bring one. We keep parties very small to cut down clutter, so amounts of gifts aren't really a big deal (each of my kids gets to invite 2 or 3 kids over for their birthday. So even with the boys' party, that's still only about 4 to 6 kids at the party). I could see being more annoyed if you were inviting 12 kids, which is still not all that many--but with twins that adds up to 24 gifts!


----------

