# I'm listening to someone's baby CIO right now.



## Dolphin (Apr 22, 2004)

And it's breaking my heart. I just heard a baby on the monitor crying, and it freaked me out because my baby is in the wrap on me! I realized that someone in the neighborhood is sleep training their poor baby right now and my monitor is picking it up. It's just heartbreaking - my milk let down and I am about to cry. The poor baby is probably under a year because she can only barely say "mommy" and keeps crying it over and over. How a mother can do that to a child is just beyond me. I don't know - I just had to write this down and tell it to someone who would understand how terribly sad it is. I'm turning it off now - I wish I could run to that child and pick her up and hold her right now.







:


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## muppet729 (Feb 15, 2005)

I'm sorry mama- that is heartbreaking


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Our monitor picks up other babies too. I once woke at 3am to a baby crying, while my baby was fast asleep.







I always say a little prayer for the baby and for the mother, so that she may listen to her instincts instead of CIO. But now I have to leave my monitor off ALL the time because with all of these pregnancy hormones, I can't take listening to it.







:


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## Synchro246 (Aug 8, 2005)

:


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## Liam's Mum (Jan 9, 2007)

That just makes me sick to my stomach. How awful. Fortunately we never heard anyone else on our monitor. But many years ago at DH's old apt. we'd hear this baby crying pitifully, and no one responded, it went on and on. It made me cry when I heard it, it was just awful. In fact we called child services to see what if anything could be done (they said nothing since we hadn't witnessed abuse...) and went upstairs to knock on their door to see if we could help (they just said everything was fine through the door). It wasn't until I had DS and learned that people actually purposely left their babies to cry alone that it occured to me, maybe they were sleep training. It had never occured to me before that someone would do such a thing.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Poor kids...


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## goodheartedmama (Feb 1, 2007)

reading this seriously made me want to puke.


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

So sorry.







That's heartwrenching.









Ummm............. I see you







Tom Robbins, too?







:

Sorry to go OT, I just happen to be obsessed with the guy.


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## moonchiald (Jun 21, 2007)

I heard a tiny tiny baby CIO on my nephew's monitor and that is what turned me onto AP at a young age without even knowing what it was.


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

Oh dear. Is there are reason to assume that it is CIO? What if someone's mama hit her head and passed out or something? Sounds very worrisome to me.


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## zipworth (Jun 26, 2002)

This is really, really sad







: . I hate that CIO was ever invented







.


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## Caittune (Aug 2, 2006)

I actually had nightmares because of hearing a little baby crying in the night. I don't know if it was CIO or not, but it was 1am, and it went on forever. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of an abandoned baby in a park.


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## Imogen (Jul 25, 2006)

*Hang on one moment... can we be 100% sure that CIO is taking place here? Are we sure that the child is not ill and the parent is trying unsuccessfully to soothe the child? Has the child had a bad dream and is being comforted, but is still upset?

I don't know, I feel uncomfortable about jumping to conclusions about what happens behind other ppl's walls and doors, especially when we cannot see.

Peace*


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## Dolphin (Apr 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Imogen* 
*Hang on one moment... can we be 100% sure that CIO is taking place here? Are we sure that the child is not ill and the parent is trying unsuccessfully to soothe the child? Has the child had a bad dream and is being comforted, but is still upset?

I don't know, I feel uncomfortable about jumping to conclusions about what happens behind other ppl's walls and doors, especially when we cannot see.

Peace*

I understand your concern about jumping to conclusions, but I can hear every single thing going on in the room. This poor baby cried off and on for over an hour saying "mommy mommy...up"...There has not been a single adult voice - no comforting, nothing. My gut instinct just tells me this child is being plopped in bed and left to cry. It's not like I'm calling CPS, although if I could figure out who it is, I would probably go knock on the door - it's upsetting me that much. It just makes me sad.


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## Dolphin (Apr 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *candiland* 
So sorry.







That's heartwrenching.









Ummm............. I see you







Tom Robbins, too?







:

Sorry to go OT, I just happen to be obsessed with the guy.









OT but yes, love that guy







Still Life With Woodpecker is my favorite book ever.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Oh, that poor little thing.

Try and visualise that the child has actually just woken up from a nightmare, called out, and the child's now crying in it's mother's arms because it was a nasty dream and now they're safe and held.


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

SIL is an Babywise follower and everytime I go there, which is a lot because Mil lives there, the poor 4 month old is crying in his crib. Every time he cries for than a minute she looks at the clock and says okay
I have to wait so and so minutes. Then she'll turn to me an say don't call dss on me. Mil turn to me and usually says why you go nurse him I am sure it would make him a lot happier. Sil didn't even try tp breastfeed this one #2. She babywised #1 and she is the most ill behaved evil three old I have ever met. I am so sick of the CIO crowd. Gosh even Ferber rethought his stance.


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## prettypixels (Apr 13, 2006)

UGGGGHHH!!!! I'm so sorry you had to hear that, and so sorry for the little one going through it.


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## granola_mom (Jun 11, 2007)

Aww! Poor baby and how sad that the mother feels she must leave her to cry for her... that would make me want to run to her and give her a cuddle, too.


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## blissful_maia (Feb 17, 2005)

: Poor sweet thing.


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## Dolphin (Apr 22, 2004)

I think the thing that's so hard about it is that I've never actually witnessed CIO before. It's just heartwrenching. The sadness in her little voice and the way she just sortof gives up after a while and then starts crying again a few seconds later. Before I had my first baby, everyone around me was talking about it like it's just something you do, and I knew I could never. And then after he was born, the thought of it just made me physically sick. But to actually hear a baby going through it is beyond difficult. The urge to go to her is just overwhelming and painful. If I can figure out who it is, I might leave a copy of NCSS on the porch or something.


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## Synchro246 (Aug 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hipmummy* 
I am so sick of the CIO crowd. Gosh even Ferber rethought his stance.

Tell me about this Ferber re-think please







:
My maiden name is Ferber. I'd like to think he's not just plain evil.


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## quelindo (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dolphin* 
I think the thing that's so hard about it is that I've never actually witnessed CIO before. It's just heartwrenching. The sadness in her little voice and the way she just sortof gives up after a while and then starts crying again a few seconds later. Before I had my first baby, everyone around me was talking about it like it's just something you do, and I knew I could never. And then after he was born, the thought of it just made me physically sick. But to actually hear a baby going through it is beyond difficult. The urge to go to her is just overwhelming and painful. If I can figure out who it is, I might leave a copy of NCSS on the porch or something.

I'm so sad about this.







:

Being called "Mommy" and knowing I'm the most important person in my son's world and that I can make everything better just by picking him up and holding him is the most amazing gift I have ever received. I can't imagine intentionally denying him that.


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## Imogen (Jul 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dolphin* 
I understand your concern about jumping to conclusions, but I can hear every single thing going on in the room. This poor baby cried off and on for over an hour saying "mommy mommy...up"...There has not been a single adult voice - no comforting, nothing. My gut instinct just tells me this child is being plopped in bed and left to cry. It's not like I'm calling CPS, although if I could figure out who it is, I would probably go knock on the door - it's upsetting me that much. It just makes me sad.


*That's fair enough







I also understand your concerns too, it's awful to have to listen to a child CIO and want to be with them to provide them comfort.*


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## luminesce (Aug 6, 2006)

That poor little child. I don't understand how someone could do that. Such a thing goes against our very nature. You can call my parenting style 'Attachment Parenting' but I just call it instinct! There is no way I could ever do something like that. I remember when DS was only a couple weeks old and DH had to hold him so I could take a shower or pee. DH could console him for a little bit but he'd inevitably get upset being away from mama. I'd try to shower super fast! I couldn't stand it for even a few minutes when he was with DH and trying to be comforted. How could someone leave a child completely alone intentionally for long periods of time?!








: Every bone in my body tells me to comfort a crying child!


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## Shakti A. (Feb 16, 2007)

You don't actually have any proof that a parent wasn't in the room, perhaps rubbing a back or something, just because you didn't hear a parental voice. We sometimes find with our kids that verbal responses just prolong the argument. Doesn't mean we aren't soothing and trying to calm and promote sleep in tactile ways.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

That happend on our monitor several times. It was so sad. the first time I ran into my son's room..an there he was sound asleep







I was so confused b/c the baby that I heard was wailing. I actually thought DS fell off the bed.

I heard it several times after that...I heard a voice saying goodnight and then leaving. then the crying. I was glad when we gave up the monitor...I always wondered where that baby lived b/c there aren't any babies in our apartment complex..except mine.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dolphin* 
I think the thing that's so hard about it is that I've never actually witnessed CIO before. It's just heartwrenching. The sadness in her little voice and the way she just sortof gives up after a while and then starts crying again a few seconds later.

Yeah, I know. I witnessed it once and I nearly walked into the room and hugged that poor child. I wish I had, actually. But at the time I was so distressed that someone I had called a friend was doing this thing I couldn't think straight. If I'd known I couldn't reach her with words at any time afterwards when I tried I would have just gone in there and saved that poor child then and there.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Today was a baby shower (for me!). DH and I and another couple who sort of practise attachment parenting (but don't know it as such) were sitting in one room while the hostess of the party let her 2 year old CIO in his bedroom down the hallway. Maybe it's different when a 2 year old CIOs but we were all soooooooooo uncomfortable. I kept asking, "is he okay?," "are you sure he's okay?" because I just felt so awkward. You know, like if you witness a couple arguing or whatever. I was told that "it's his temper" and that "he's teething." I'm confused as to how "teething" = "temper," but whatever. I don't have a 2 year old so I don't know what it's like, but I do know that I hate to hear any baby cry and it made my breasts hurt!


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