# Support For Sleep Deprived-feb



## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

*This Thread is for Anyone one feels the need for ongoing or one time support regarding sleep issues.*
Here is the link to first thread...
Janurary Thread

Hey Everybody,
I hope somebody out there is getting some sleep.
We had that one good night but the rest have been not so good. DS had the worst night yet right after the really good night. He was awake from about 11pm-3am. Most nights it's just lots of waking but those nights when he really wakes up are killer. We have not had much of a routine lately. I really need to get some paperwork done and catch up on work but I feel too stressed out.
How are the other working mom's hanging in there?
SAHM's how's the housework and daily tasks going?
We all have other stuff to get done, which is hard when you don't get enough sleep.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

I'm a SAHM and I don't work much on housework when we have a bad night.

I have resign myself to co-sleeping with DD2 during part of the night. I need the sleep and getting up is not working. I do get more sleep when I co-sleep but I don't like it. I like having all the space for myself. Well, I do share with dh but we don't touch and That's what i like.

Today the girls gave me a gift. They both slept past 9:30am. I woke up by myself and it felt great. i even had time to take a shower before they woke up. Now will they go to bed at the regular hr, probably not.

Take care ladies.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

Just wanted to bump this up.

Dh had a not too good night with dd1. She woke up about 4-5 times. Poor guy!. i didn't hear most time and when I did hear her I was busy with dd2.


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## MamaHippo (Dec 4, 2004)

Wow, I had hoped no one else had to deal with sleep issues (wishful thinking, i know), but since you all do, Glad to find you!
DS is still not sleeping well, which means I dont sleep hardly at all. He will not go down to sleep for anyone but me (bearer of the breasts). He is in his Co-Sleeper bassinett for the first part of the night, until he wakes up about 2 hours later. After that initial waking, he is nursing back to sleep on an hourly basis. Which means i dont sleep longer than an hour at a time most nights.
4 nights ago, we had a lovely night where DS went to bed at 10, slept until 4 and then after nursing slept until 8. I felt amazing all day from all the sleep. But every night since has been the same ol' thing.
What really puzzles me is that DS seems like he isnt comfortable any way he sleeps. He rolls around, arches his back, grunts / growls, scratches me, pulls my hair and cries.. All night. We've tried back, tummy, even side sleeping but he still does it. During the day he is such a sweet, enjoyable, easy baby but night is a nightmare.
Whyyyyyyyy???


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## cancat (Jun 15, 2004)

Have a 4 mo.old dd who nurses every 2-3 hours throughout the night. The fun part is when she goes down (rather easily) she wakes up every 20 minutes or so for a couple hours. Then she also sleep-cries, which wakes me up, even if she is asleep by the time I get to the crib (we cosleep sometimes, but then she seems to wake up even more, and tosses and turns all night... not sure which is worse).

I have to go to sleep within an hour after she does (so, 7:30pm) to accumulate enough sleep by 6:30am to function during the day.

I'm thinking of trying to just nurse her a couple times during the night, and just cuddling and comforting the other times. Has anyone tried this?

I guess I could have it worse, but everyone around me IRL seems to have it better! The thing I HATE THE MOST is when mama's whose babies sleep through the night are SO PROUD of it, and seem to attribute it to superior pareting. Hey, I'm the better parent because I'm always doing it sleep-deprived! :LOL


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## Alison (Feb 11, 2004)

Oh boy am I ever in this club. I'm constantly sleep deprived. DS sleeps in a toddler bed next to our bed, but he's usually up and in with us by 3 am, and wide awake and ready to go before 6. And when he's in with us it's boob or nothing. And I don't sleep well anymore when he's nursing, not like I did when he was tiny anyway. And he isn't really nursing, he's comfort sucking. And he's getting to be so big, and he's a bed hog! But I love having him there, because he's still so delicious, and soon enough he won't want me to cuddle him at night, and I'm going to miss it.

BUT, having said that, I really miss my sleep! I think that pretty soon he's going to be spending a night at Granny's. He'd love it, I know, and my mum would cosleep with him if he did spend the night here. The only thing missing would be boobies. But he's nearly two, and can go whole nights without when he wants to, and he's a really secure and confident little guy. I just need a night of uninterrupted sleep. Today, we'd been up and out to the market to get produce and washed the car, and I was ready for lunch. I looked at the clock and it was not even 10:00 am! We'd been up for hours already!

And I still haven't managed to convince work that a nap in the middle of the day actually boosts employee productivity.

Alison


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

Lisa
Alison
Cancat

Lisa,
My DS sounds a lot like your DS. He is a wonderful easy going guy during the day. He frequently flails around and can't settle himself, even with the breast back to sleep. I think that he has a upset tummy sometimes, but I am not sure. We are holding back on solids because it seems to have helped the last two nights. We'll see.
Sandrine - One good night and one bad night. Sounds like my nights.
Alison - oooo, I like your idea of a night at grandma's. I can't wait until DS is old enough for that. It might actually be a night at home but we'll go away.
Cancat- I belong to a mom's group and they are all APer's but nobody has the sleep issues like my DS. That's why I formed this thread. My IRL mom's group is great for a lot of things but sleep issues it is not helpfull for.

Got go. Wish I could say more but I got work and then night time parent.


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## Autumnschild (Jul 20, 2004)

Hello fellow sleepless mamas!

My dd is 7 months and still nurses constantly through the night. I am a light sleeper and have trouble with this. It got so bad that I decided that I needed a break from cosleeping and have managed to convince my oldest dd (2.5 years) to sleep in her own bed. Putting the baby in the crib wasn't so easy. I haven't sleep any better because now she cries and I have to get out of bed and get her before she wakes the entire household. Dh gets really grumpy when the kids wake him up. So, she's been sleeping back in bed with me and I have not slept well at all in sooo long.

It has been worse this past week. She insists on being latched on in her sleep and cries and thrashes around if I even roll away from her. I am so frustrated, I could cry. I really need some rest.

I went to shop for a new pair of glasses today. It was bad. All I could see were purple circles under my bloodshot eyes. I couldn't tell if the glasses were unattractive or just me.


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## surf mama (Jan 8, 2005)

Lately I've been sleepless due to a sick and teething toddler (21 mo). This is reminding me of how life was for her first year or so. I wish I had known about MDC then. Like some of your kids she woke up A LOT at night to nurse and during the day slept only 10-20 minutes unless I held her and then she would nap and nurse for hours and I would be stuck holding her.

But now looking back I am so grateful I gave that to her. She is such a sweet, happy and attached







little girl and when she is well she sleeps thru most nights and occassionally needs me just once instead of the 5+ times it used to be. They do outgrow the sleep issues in their own time but I have to admit I never thought that it would end but it did suddenly at around 19 months. So I've only left the sleep deprived world for 2 months now (minus a couple weeks with her strep and ear infections)

Wow did I ever ramble...I really hope you all get some decent sleep tonight. Take care and know that all your suffering is not in vain. You are amazing mamas!







cancat-I agree it is the non-CIO parents who should brag not the ones who force their kids to sleep all night.


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## miasmommy (Feb 4, 2005)

I am SO glad I found this forum!!!!









My little girl is 11 mos. & is still sleeping with me, wakes several times a night & nurses like a champ!

I haven't had a good night's sleep since my second trimester....

I am so encouraged to hear from you all that have SURVIVED.... I am a SAHM - barely do any house work- I am 40

Nice to meet you all!

Melanie
Darling Daughter will be 1 on 2/27/ 2005


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## cancat (Jun 15, 2004)

Last night she was up every 1/2 - 1 hour. And I thought it couldn't get worse.









If another person asks me if she sleeps through the night yet, I will throttle them.


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

Well, we've had a rough last three nights. DS just can't seem to settle down to sleep. He crawled back and forth over me for hours for two nights. Last night he slept good to start but was restless again in the early morning. He was just flopping around a bit, enough to keep me from getting good sleep. The first night was at least 3 hours of crawling over me. I was soooo frustrated. I started pushing DS away. I really wanted to scream. I felt so bad later. It's not his fault, he can't sleep. He really seems to want to sleep but can't.
I am wondering if a couple of things are going on. He is really slow at teething. His brain is doing a lot of developing with language and speech right now. He is repeating a lot of sounds and says a few "words." He may be trying to connect with me because I am gone all day. I don't why I want so badly to figure out what is going with his sleep. I know, I want to make sure it isn't something medical. We stopped feeding him solids because he did seem to getting a lot of gas but his sleeping isn't any better. His skin feels a little bumpy, so he could have alergies. I am putting almond oil on him after bathing in case it is just dry skin. At least that might make his skin feel better, if its bothering him.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
Cancat - Yeah, just ignore those people. Anybody worried about sleeping through the night is not likely to understand AP anyway. Sorry, it's been rough for you I know what that's like.
Surf Ma- Thanks for stopping to let us know that it gets better. We need that. I don't know if I could keep doing this if I didn't have that hope.
Melanie - welcome. Does DC wake up and go back to sleep easily. Even that at 11 mo would give me hope. I think my DS is going to be teething for a long time because he's really slow so I am hoping for good sleep around 18 mo.
Sheri - I really feel for your situation. Some night DS has to be latched on all night. That is really rough for me too. I am a light sleeper but I can usually get back to sleep if the baby settles. We're here for you. Hang in there.








*I hope you all get some good sleep soon.*


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## Alison (Feb 11, 2004)

We had a good night last night!!!!! First one in ages. Not that he slept through, cause he didn't. He just didn't crawl in with us until nearly 4 am. Which is better than 2 am, and means that I'm half awake with a latched on baby for two hours less. Plus then he slept til 7 am, instead of getting up at 6. I feel so well rested, compared to normal. I hope he does it again tonight!

It's so nice to have a sympathetic group where we can moan and groan about being tired and know that nobody is going to tell us that we should get the baby out of our bed and let him CIO. I make the choice to be tired, but that doesn't mean I don't need to vent about it at least a little! thank you to everyone here who listens, and knows how I feel, and doesn't condemn or judge! I'm so glad I found MDC.

Alison


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## BrandyX3 (Dec 9, 2004)

Hi, Melanie, I am new to here too.







I am also a sleep deprived momma. :yawning: I have a 6 month old that likes to nurse all night long and a 3 year old that seems to be having bad dreams and wants to get in the bed with us too. Except, when he does get in the bed with us, my daughter thinks we are having a slumber party and wants to play. :nana:

I do have a 5 year old that just recently got out of our bed when he turned 5 in June. So, eventually, I will be able to have room in the bed again, in probably 5 years!!!


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

I love you guys!

My 9.5 month old has never been a good sleeper. I remember when he was tiny that he slept until 4am one night and it was heaven. At least I've had a glimpse and it was good!

Seriously, he is so busy and full of energy during the day that he will only take about two bottles. My mom watches him during the day and she offers him his formula every three hours if he hasn't shown an interest before then and he just won't eat more. I had heard that formula fed babies can reverse cycle but I didn't believe it until living it. Ugh! The only way I get through work is three cups of coffee a day (and I was hardly a coffee drinker before). I'm looking forward to weaning myself one of these days.









So, our nightly schedule is: Falls asleep in arms between 7:30 and 8:00 pm. He goes down very easy, when he's ready he will sleep. We go to bed around 9 pm and he sleeps in the middle. He wakes around 11 pm for a whole bottle and then right back to sleep. Wakes again between 2 and 3 am for another bottle and right back to sleep. Starts stirring almost at 4 am on the nose and will settle back down for 10 minutes then stirs again until he wakes up around 5 am.

At 5 we can usually carry him into the living room and if he's still tired he will sleep sound as a bug in a rug in our arms until around 6 or so. Then he's up for a few hours until his nap time at my mom's.

I never, ever imagined I'd have a 9 month old that didn't sleep through the night. No one I ever talked to about kids mentioned this. Probably doesn't help that our friends use CIO or had kids who just did it on their own around five months.

When I've had nights like last night where ds was stirring at least once an hour and I think CIO might be an option I come here and see that I'm not the only one and that it won't last forever.

DH is great about it and helps. We also encourage each other by reminding ourselves that he won't be little forever and we will miss these days. Not so sure I'm going to miss the zombie-like sleep deprived state but I will miss my little guy snuggling like he does.

I wonder, are all of your babies high needs? When I think of high needs I think that they need constant stimulation and get bored with things quickly. Charlie isn't a crier, he just likes to be doing new things all the time. And, he's already walking and going ninety-to-nothing. I guess I'm just looking for any likenessess?

Also, how were you and dp as sleepers when you were little? My mom and mil say that dh and I were great sleepers. We are both super laid back (that's why I think AP feels so natural to us) It is our sisters that were the high-energy always on the go babies. Funny thing is Charlie is such a mixture. He's laid back and not overly demanding but he's pretty bull headed and just quietly does what he wants. It can be tricky redirecting him at times.

Oh, one other question. How many of you have had trouble losing weight (if you need or want to)? I have found that if I'm not getting enough sleep I better just write it off until I can sleep better. Actually, I didn't have a lot of weight to lose after Charlie was born, about 10 pounds, but since I haven't been sleeping I eat more. It's a vicious cycle.







:

Thanks again for sharing. Just what I needed today!


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

Oh, I thought of one other funny thing he's started doing. When he stirs he has a tendency to sit up. His eyes are still closed and sometimes he rubs at them but once he's sitting he will just slump back over again in whatever direction is the easiest.

This morning he sat up and wound up with his back towards the foot of the bed. It was all a fluid motion, laying on belly -- get up on hands and knees -- sit up on bottom -- fall onto back with arms and legs splaid.

He had his feet right up between dh and I. So, I just laughed (quietly) and watched him. He fell into a deep breathing pattern for about two minutes then sat back up and slumped over on dh. This has been going on for about a week now but he's gotten more active and can fall right back asleep without our help, usually.

I can only imagine if he was sleeping in his crib he'd wake himself up by hitting his head on the rails. He is all over the place.

I wonder if he's going to be one of those kids later in life that you never know which direction they will be facing in bed in the morning? Any mommas of older babes who did this?


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## Alison (Feb 11, 2004)

Cheshire, Andrew does this sometimes at night too. He's still asleep, far as I can tell, but sitting up, lying down etc. He starts out in a toddler bed pushed right up next to us, but maybe 4 inches lower, and sometimes ends up on his knees, front half on our bed, legs on his bed. Or on his back with legs up on our bed. The only time it was a problem was the time he flopped back down again, and whacked his head on the edge of the toddler bed. That woke him up, poor guy! DH sleeps through it now, but I usually wake when he stirs like that.

Alison


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## Rox5266 (Nov 26, 2004)

My ds and I have been really sick. For him this meant I got many nights of 2-3 hour sleep. I nearly fell asleep at my desk at work and got told to go home. Ds just could not get comfortable and would be up all night - not sleeping until 4 AM. Sometimes my DH would help, sometimes he would sleep. And then there were the time I got tired of hearing ds crying and would reluctantly take him back to bed with me. I tried humidifier, kaz oil for the humidifier, vicks, triaminic, benedryl, dimetapp, hot steamy showers, nothing really helped more then once or for only part of the time. FINALLY ds and I are getting better and he has only woke 2-3 times and it has not taken that long to get him back to sleep. But I still have to walk him around and my back is one big ACHE. I am seeing the chiro tomorrow.

I thought I was sleep deprived before this episode -I was wrong! I don't know how I will ever recoup from this.







:

Roxanne
Daniel 8/9/03


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## duckat (Jan 10, 2005)

Hello, my name is Martha, and I'm sleep deprived.

My ds is 21 months old, and lately has been waking up to nurse every hour at least. It's brutal. We cosleep most of the night, so I am getting some sleep, but not enough.

He's teething, and he just wants to suck for comfort, so it's not like he latches on and drinks, it's just a suckasuckasuckasucka that I can't doze through.

ugh. As soon as I get into a good sleep it's "mama? mama?" and patting my chest.


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

Cheshire - My DS sounds a lot like yours. I would not consider my DS high needs. He is very easy going but he started crawling at 6.5 mo. He started say his first words a few weeks ago. Like your DS he plays independently very well but just doesn't want to stop. DS seems to be reverse cycling a bit too. I haven't had chance to really chart good and bad night but it definately seems like we have more bad nights on the days that I work.
DS flops all over the place when he's trying to go back to sleep or just can settle down. Mostly it's on me and he does come up with some weird positions sometimes.
I have a lot of weight to lose. I have been trying to go running early in the morning (5a), which is really hard. I have determined that I might as well get up and go because DS will wake up within a 30min or less even if he's not awake yet when the alarm going off. I also found that getting less sleep and dealing with trying to get DS makes me stressed and then I use food to deal with the stress. Just realizing this and trying to avoid food for comfort has been helpful
Welcome Martha - The sucksucksuck pause sucksucksuck drives me crazy and it tickles. I have a really hard time with comfort sucking.
Roxanne - I am glad thing are going better now.


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

Cheshire - My DS sounds a lot like yours. I would not consider my DS high needs. He is very easy going but he started crawling at 6.5 mo. He started say his first words a few weeks ago. Like your DS he plays independently very well but just doesn't want to stop. DS seems to be reverse cycling a bit too. I haven't had chance to really chart good and bad night but it definately seems like we have more bad nights on the days that I work.
DS flops all over the place when he's trying to go back to sleep or just can settle down. Mostly it's on me and he does come up with some weird positions sometimes.
I have a lot of weight to lose. I have been trying to go running early in the morning (5a), which is really hard. I have determined that I might as well get up and go because DS will wake up within a 30min or less even if he's not awake yet when the alarm going off. I also found that getting less sleep and dealing with trying to get DS makes me stressed and then I use food to deal with the stress. Just realizing this and trying to avoid food for comfort has been helpful
Welcome Martha - The sucksucksuck pause sucksucksuck drives me crazy and it tickles. I have a really hard time with comfort sucking.
Roxanne - I am glad thing are going better now.


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## miasmommy (Feb 4, 2005)

Grrrr... or shall I say Good Morning?....

Well, it's nice to meet all of you. My DD had a good 2 hour nap yesterday afternoon & then off to sleep at 8 PM.... then BAM... up every few hours... the first couple of times I could nurse her back to sleep but by 3: 30 AM I had to get up & rock her to "Disney Lullabies"... well, that worked.... until about 4:30 AM & now here we are....UGH!... someone said they will sleep better at night if they nap well during the day... well, not here... LOL...

She does seem to have a stuffy nose thing & won't let me near her w/ the saline mist...I keep hoping ( praying!) that once she starts walking she will sleep better?... Oh, I am probably dreaming...

Hope you are all doing well... wishing you all a Happy Friday!

Hugs,

Melanie & 11. 5 mo DD who is cute but a CHALLENGE!


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## cancat (Jun 15, 2004)

Argh...I tried swaddling dd's arms when she fell asleep (I used to swaddle her before, but we did it when she was awake and it got her all worked up.)

Well, she slept better but when she woke up she was MAD. I mean, crying inconsolably for 10 minutes (in arms of course)! And she's not a crier.

I guess its back to the drawing board!


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

We had our one good night of the week. Every week I am get hopeful that the good nights will continue. I don't know why but at least I still have hope. He still wakes up a lot but he usually goes right back to sleep. I needed the rest too. I was tired when I put him to bed at 7p but I stayed up till 10p.
Cancat - We tried swaddling DS when he was about 8 mo but had the same experience as you. I tried to loosen the swaddling after he fell asleep but then he would wake up.


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## Alison (Feb 11, 2004)

Well, DS went to granny's last night for the night, and I have to say that I didn't really sleep much better without him! He did really well though, he only woke up once and whenhe cried for mummy and daddy, my mum just turned on Thomas the Tank Engine (I have a Thomas addict as a son, not sure how it happened or where he even first saw Thomas, but it works like a charm to calm him down!), watched for a while and then went back to bed. She coslept with him as well, which makes me feel really good about letting him stay overnight away from me! I almost didn't send him--we were hit by another car yesterday morning, and so I ended up not going to work and keeping DS home from daycare, I couldn't bear to have him away from me. We were hit on his side of the car, just behind the wheel, and I couldn't stop thinking about if we'd been hit further towards the front, how it would have been right where he was sitting. Anyway, he's fine, thank goodness, and not at all clingy or traumatised by it, but I was feeling pretty clingy! However, we decided to let him go anyway, since he loves going to granny's so much, and he had a wonderful time. Probably better he was there anyway, since I was very sore and stiff from the accident. Still am, but last night I felt like I couldn't even move in bed. Anyway, let's hope he sleeps well tonight, since I really need the sleep myself!

Here's wishing everyone a good night and sweet dreams!

Alison


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

I am in the darkest place. I have a high needs 8 week old. On me all day/ on me all night. She normally nurses or bounces on a big ball to sleep then sleeps 3-4 hours. Then nurses every 2 hours. Well Wed. night I came down w/ the stomach flu. I was vomiting and couldn't stop going to the bathroom. During that night-like an angel-she slept almost all night. However, I got no sleep and she hasn't slept much since then. While I was sick my mom came over but it was really not much help b/c dd only wants me. Then Friday night DH got sick with it and was sick all day yesterday. DD wouldn't nap and she cried anytime I put her down, but I had to help dh and take care of the mess this illness makes and take care of our two dogs who are bad and very demanding. I would say yesterday she napped for an hour. Then every night since Thursday she has not slept more than an hour at a time. I feel like my boobs are going to fall off. I feel nursed into oblivion. I have had no chace to recover from being sick. In 4 nights the longest stretch of sleep I've had is 1 hour.









The worst part is dd is so fussy. We get of bed and she is cranky and crying and I know I have to cope it with all over again. I also feel full of resentment towards my husband. He wasn't very nice to me when I was sick (includeing handing me the baby and falling asleep, asking me to clean up my dishes, and asking me to change a poop diaper







: )so, I have pretty much reached my breaking point with him being sick and getting to sleep all night in the guest room and never feed the dogs and let them out or hold the baby or try to put her sleep









Oh well I am giving myself permission to cry all day.

Thanks for giving me a place to let it out.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

nannymom. I'm sorry you are going thru this. You have to take care of you and the baby. Leave dh to take care of himself. If he doesn't like, too bad.

Would your dd be allerigc to something?? Something that could keep her awake and cry often, colics and such. Does she have a rash, vomits on a regular basis?? All this can indicate an allergy.

My dd2 used to cry often and not want to sleep by herself. She also had a rash on her face. I discover by eliminating dairy that she was allergic. Once I stop eating dairy and it got out of our systems, she was a whole different baby. She was rash free, and she was able to fall asleep by herself. She also didn't cry as much. It made a total diference in our lifes.

An update of us: Dd1 is only now waking up about once still. I don't mind that. She only ask for water then goes back to sleep.

DD2 is doing not too bad. Last night, she surprise us by nursing at about 1:30am then about 2:30-3am I put her back in her bed because she moved too much for me to sleep and she slept until 9am this morning. Let says that she got me worry there for a minute. I check on her at 8:30am and she had moved from her normal position so I was releived. When you not used to that you do sometimes panic. It felt great to be able to sleep all that time and to only wake up with dd1 at 8am.

Will she continue this new trend?? I so hope so. I would be a new person if she sleep like that every morning.

Hi! to everyone. I hope you all are having a better wk than last wk.


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

Awww!!! *Nannymom*, I am sorry your family got sick. That is no fun. Sometimes it is hard for the SO to understand what you're going through. I recommend checking into medical problems that could be causing DD sleep problems. You can cry on our shoulder any time.
*Update*: DS has slept well for 3 out of the last 4 nights. Wow, that feels great. The bad night was probably gas and or reflux. We are doing a couple of things now: Wearing him by swimming almost everyday. Giving him 3 small meals (BM or EBM) at the end of the day so he can digest his food easier. I realized though that his sleeping great would be someone else's sleep problem. He still woke up about every hour to 2 hours. So...
In the previous Thread I said we should have Graduates.
Define what YOU personally would consider graduation from sleep deprivation.
I would be fine with 1-2 hour waking as long as DS went right back to sleep at least 5 out of 7 nights a week. That would be doable for me. What would be doable for you?


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## Rox5266 (Nov 26, 2004)

What would be doable for me is if he only woke 2 times a night, for about ten minutes each time, and nursed back to sleep every time without my having to walk him around. Last night he did pretty good until around 2 AM when he woke every hour until 6 AM and then would/could not sleep even though he was tired and whined and cried after that. So at 7 AM we got up, but my dh put him down for a nap at 10AM - noon, so his sleep schedule is all F&%$*d up (sigh). He fell asleep when I went to pick him up at my mom's house (I always nurse him as soon as I arrive) and slept an hour - he could be up until 12 tonight! That will mean he will want to sleep late tomorrow morning and he can't because I take him to my mom's on Tuesday mornings.

Zoe- I am glad to hear your ds has given you some good nights! Send some of those good nights my way, please?

Roxanne
Daniel 8/9/03


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

I define it by sleeping about 5-6hrs straight and waking out less than 2-3times a night. I thinkg that it sounds like a good night.

Anyone else??


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

It's 3:45 a.m. and I am sitting here bouncing my baby.







I am so tired. She started nursing and popping on and off around 2 so at three I finally gave in and got up since she clearly didn't want to nurse. The issue is I thin if it doesn't involve the breast DH should be doing this. He actually just came in here kissed me and said: I'm sorry this is happening.







: Well, If you're sorry why don't you do it for a while.

He works outside of the home full time, but I work out side of the home part time and I take dd with me so in my opinion we're even.

I am so angry at night that I don't know how to talk to him with out screeming at him. it's just so unfair.

If anyone wants to give me some healthy sugesstions or tell me how you handle this in your own partnership it would be apreciated.


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

DH finally came to mu rescue







and came up w/ a plan on his own to handle the nights. We are going to do a system of being "on call" based on who has the busiest schedule the next day. It will aleviate any guilt on my part and more importantly the night time fighting.


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

Well, Kate is almost 5 months old. She was sleeping ok about 3 weeks ago- she would give me one 5 hour block and then was up every 2 hours. That would be graduation for me- if we could get back to that!

But then teething hit and she was waking up screaming every 2 hours. Then she got her first cold and would only sleep in my arms sitting up or in the swing (motionless) for an entire week.

So last week was the first week she was "well" but now she's in the habit of waking up every hour and being nursed or walked back to sleep. During the day, I watch my friend's baby (6 months) also, so I am not able to nap when Kate does. And I am a walking zombie!









Nannymom, I am so SICK AND TIRED of dh magically sleeping through all her night wakings.







I know he works out of the house, but I have to be up at the same time he does to watch Hannah and I'm getting up way more often than he is!! And I'm really starting to resent him for it. When he does actually get up with her, he tries to console her for all of 2-3 minutes and then brings her to me.







:

I called the lactation consultant at my pedi's office yesterday to ask for suggestions on how to get her out of this pattern. Her solution was to let her CIO for up to 30 minutes!!!!!!







:

So, I'm tired, grumpy, and feeling unsupported. I could really use you guys right now!


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

Nannymom ~ I'm so glad that your dh is going to start helping with night parenting. My dh gets the first 3hrs after the last feeding which is about 10-11pm. So i get to sleep for about 2 1/2hrs. He doesn't need as much sleep as me so why wouldn't he help.

Leomom~ Sorry that you dd has now went back to nursing every few hrs. That's sucks. Could it be a growth spurt?? That's could explain why she is nursing more and not sleeping as much. Teething is really hard too.

I usually elbow dh when it's his turn to take care of dd and when he is sleeping. He got used to getting up now and I don't have to wake him up as much. Also tell him, I'm not available, take care of her. Or you can tell him to not bug you until a certain time. I did that with dh at first. He would also bring her to me after a few minutes. I told him why bother if you bring her to me now, I can do that. So I started with a 2hrs limit now its 3 only because that also my limit before I nurse her again at night. Also if I'm getting frustrated, i give him dd so that he can take care of her too. Doesn't matter if he is sleeping or not.








An lactation consultant telling you to CIO. I guess she didn't read her material well enough. YOur baby is still so young that I would follow her cues and if i nursed her an hr ago, then I would look to see if there is anything else bugging her.









**I'm not a pro but I have been in this corner for that past year and a half with dd1 and now with dd2. All I can do is tell you what I did and what work here. I do know that dd1 is now sleeping better now that she is 2yrs old and since she is completely off dairy. That the dairy is finally out of her body. I also know what it is to be told to CIO. It doesn't work when you listen to your child cues and needs. It doesn't for me anyways.


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

Since she's not nursing like that during the day, and falls back asleep within minutes of nursing, I tend to think it's a habit rather than hunger....I'm going to go work on my NCSS sleep plan.










BTW, I should have known better than to ask that lc. She is the same one who told me she legally had to advise us against co-sleeping. Oh please!


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *leomom*
Since she's not nursing like that during the day, and falls back asleep within minutes of nursing, I tend to think it's a habit rather than hunger....I'm going to go work on my NCSS sleep plan.









BTW, I should have known better than to ask that lc. She is the same one who told me she legally had to advise us against co-sleeping. Oh please!



































































Legally advise you! Well, maybe she thought that was true.

We are up at 3 again. I think this is becoming a habit. Rather then get in wad I am just trying to shorten the length of the wake up last night it was 3 1/2 hours







: That's a bit much. I also bought the NCSS from somone here. Hopefully it will at least give me a sense of being proactive.








to anyone else who is up.


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

Well, I did the night log to jump start my 10 day plan for NCSS. I was up a lot, but at least she slept 2 hours each stretch- more than it has been!


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

Oh Oh, count me in! I cannot believe I did not find this earlier. I actually avoid the sleep forum because I get too depressed. Dd is 18 months old and still does not sleep well. We co-sleep but at least half the nights I sleep in the guest room and dh cosleeps with dd. I am a VERY light sleeper and on top of that, my mental well-being is very affected by lost sleep. Before dd was born I got 10 hours of sleep a night and needed it. Now I am happy with 8 but that rarely happens. Even in the guest room, I hear dh get up with her. But when I cosleep, I have a lot of trouble falling asleep.

Anyway, I cringe whenever anyone asks if she sleeps through the night. Luckily that question is coming less and less frequently as most people assume an 18 month old would be and do not even ask. Both of our parents blame us for dd's poor sleeping and say it is because we cosleep and still bf. I know that is not true but am beginning to suspect that we are doing something wrong. She wakes several times a night screaming her head off. We have ruled out anything medical and it does not seem to be night terrors. The screaming really gets to me. I get angry. Why is she screaming, we always attend to her littlest whimper, there is no need to scream. And sometimes she gets violent. Last night dh put her down for the 15th time and laid down next to her. She hit him with her nails out and left two huge bloody scratches. Why? She has never been hit or even seen violence of any type. We have tried NCSS and we are VERY conistent people. We did the 10 day trial for 30 days with absolutely no gain. I get really scared when I read that people have 3 and 4 year olds that still do this. We need to sleep. This is messing us up!

Sorry to vent, it has been a bad week......

Yooper


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

Notice I am not posting this at 3 a.m. I was able to get dd to nirse back to sleep at 3 last night. I think she may have just needed to be more comfortable. I don't beleive it will last but hey it was great while it was happening.


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

Just checking in to say I'm still zombie like! :LOL


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## musingmama (Oct 31, 2004)

I dont have time to cathc up and read all the replies, but after a couple of months of better sleeping (ds would sleep for one 4-6 hr stretch and then 2 hr or so stretches for the rest of the night) ,,, now the past few nights he has been waking a lot. and coupled with the chewing and biting everything, it seems like maybe he is getting his two yr molars early? he is about 20 months. he has alwasy been an early teether.
last night he didnt go down til 1, then he slept til 3, but then from 3- 7 just constant nursing, every time he would turn over and i would think i could get just a little sleep, he;d turn back and writhe around if i didnt let him nurse right away.
i am so exhausted. i hope the next few months are not going to be like this.
anyone else have an early teether? he has such a hard time with teething... i cant wait til they are doen, he has all 16 now. but i can imagine these molars will be rough!
and then to make matters worse, as i was telling dh about it this morning ( he has the privilege of sleeping 7 straight hours







: ) he said - "well, if he had his own bed in his own room, it might be the kind of thing that he could fall back to sleep on his own! "






















and so i say, "yeah, if i let him cry himself back to sleep"
and he replies, "well, i've just heard that at _his age_ , he can fall back to sleep on his own!"








then i said, okay- you clean out the other bedroom, get a big bed, and we'll try it and i'll sleep in there with him.
and he said, I know you didnt get any sleep, but I do not need to be b!tched at this morning!
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ds loves to cuddle up with me, he can sleep well ( he even slept through the night a couplle of time) but he has always had a very hard time teething, and he wants to nurse a lot and feel me there, why on earth would putting him in a new room all alone for the very fiorst time help?!
UGH!


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

Musingmom, It never fails to amaze me how clueless my dh can be when it comes to babies' sleep habits and what is normal and not normal. And how insensitive he continues to be.







: I'm right there with ya!


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## musingmama (Oct 31, 2004)

thanks, leomom








It can just be so irratating
Everyone comments on how ds is so sweet, such a wonderful, caring, and well adjusted boy- doesnt dh realize how cosleeping and my responding to his needs helped him to feel trusting and loved and confident that I am always there for him!!
in a few days, my MIL and FIL will be visiting for the very first time (long story) and MIL has mentioned since ds was 2 months old, that she isnt a fan of cosleepign







so this will be a hrad week


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

musingmama-








yoopervegan-I too used to get about 10 hours of sleep and needed it. Now I'm always so tired I feel miserable all the time.

It is 2 a.m. and here I am b/c of course she sleeps the night Dh is supposed to get up.







I hate this so much. I can't even speak b/c being up makes so angry. How can I feel less mad when this happens?

dd has started takeing good naps (please no one tell me to sleep when she sleeps those words make me crazy). Is there anyway this is why she's doing this or is this just being 8 weeks old. I don't expect her to sleep thru the night. I just like it when she wakes up nurses (which I can sleep through) and goes to sleep it's when she won't stay in bed that I start to fall apart.

Just a little aside yesterday when dd and i returned from work dh (who gets home before me) said I'm not going to be much help to you tonight b/c I didn't get my 4 o'clock nap.







I went nuts. I told him once you choose to be a parent you loose the right to be well rested and to stop being so selfish.







:


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

Aw, nannymom, I wish I could hug you!









I think a lot of it is just being 8 weeks old. I gets easier soon, not much, but at least it becomes bearable!!!









Do you have a swing? Kate would sleep in it and I tried not to let her, but when I got depserate in the middle of the night I'd put her in it, turn it on, and go to sleep.







: Helped me get through some rough patches. And she didn't have a hard time transitionong out of it at all since I only used it when desperate.

I thought my dh was the king of insensitive comments (I was at work all day. You don't work.







:







). But yours may have one up on him!


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

thanks for the tips and support


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## leomom (Aug 6, 2004)

nak

nannymom, i didn't mean to insult your dh in any way. hope it didn't come out that way!







i love my dh sooo much, but sometimes i feel like kicking him. :LOL


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

musingmama~







i hope things will get better. Don't let your in-laws get the better of you. You are doing a great job. Your ds is well adjusted and that's whats counts.

Nannymom~ dh's can be a PITA but they can also help lots. I guess that maybe talking to him about what you expect from him and you will probably help in the long while because then you are both on the same wave lenght(sp).







That's great that she slept well the night before. She just 8wks old and it's hard to adjust to this world. IThey will probably be more days where she will sleep better and others like last night , not.

Leomom~ I'm glad I'm not the only one being a zombie. lol It's too bad tthat we have to be zombies. I love my sleep and I don't get it much.

We are doing not too bad. i think dd2 is trying to transtion to 1 nap and she having a really hard time. She is also sick, poor thing. sutffy, running nose, irritable etc... I hope she gets better soon, maybe she will sleep better afterwards. Dd1 is getting sick too.








Just what I need for them to be sick. I'll probably be next in line to be sick.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

nannymom~ I hate napping too. I can't get used to it. I continue to think that if I sleep during the day I can stay up later.


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *leomom*
nak

nannymom, i didn't mean to insult your dh in any way. hope it didn't come out that way!







i love my dh sooo much, but sometimes i feel like kicking him. :LOL

You didn't offend me. I love my DH but he can be a jerk.


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

Better night on Dh's watch of course. Is it possiable my baby is overstilumlated by sleeping close to me? I wonder if my milky smell wakes her (I leak at night). I love sleeping snuggled up to her but I am thinking about moving her crib into our room and putting it beside the bed. She has never slept in there but I she takes these great long naps in our family bed when I'm not there. What do people think of this?


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

*Nannymom* - I also considered briefly moving DS to a crib to possiblly sleep better but he really likes to be touching somebody. DS also seems to go to sleep better for DH and stay asleep a little better. I think one reason is the milk. Since I work, I also think that at night he is really just trying to reconnect with me.
My DH often is clueless about nighttime parenting. He just sleep through all the squirming and nursing. I am trying to get better about passing him off when I can't get him back to sleep with nursing alone. DH has been really good about taking him for the last month or so.
*Welcome Yooper and Any other new people I missed*
*Sandrine* - Sorry about DD's getting sick hope it is not much.
We had a horrible night the other night. DS got about 4 hours and I got about 2 1/2 hours sleep. The next day was a little tough but I drank some extra coffee and made it through. DS slept pretty well last night but took over an hour to go to sleep. DH was really really frustrated. I tried to take over but DH wouldn't let me until he was at the end of his rope. DS finally fell asleep to nursing. DH was great this AM too. I usually get up with DS at 5 am or earlier and we go for a walk/run while DH sleeps on Weekends (during the week he goes swimming). He took DS walking while I slept this AM. I tried to sleep some more by putting DS down for a nap but DS decided that breaking the latch (which made a funny noise) while nursing was much more entertaining. He would break the latch and giggle. I had to hold back from laughing too. He thought the new trick was pretty funny. No matter how funny that was it had to get nipped in the bud so "neenees" went "byebye"
Sorry I don't have more time to check in with everyone. I have a baby shower for my cousin to go to about 1 1/2 hours away.
Talk to you all later.


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