# Feel like yelling at your child? Yell at this thread instead!



## Bladestar5

Ok, this is a safe place to yell INSTEAD of yelling at your children. This is not meant to be offensive to anybody, just to let off steam rather than subject your kids to it.
I will go first, although that small cup of wine took the edge off enough so I don't feel like yelling now...but here goes for an example....

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!! STOP COMING IN AND OUT! STOP ASKING ME THE SAME QUESTION OVER AND OVER AND OVER....I AM GOING TO GO NUTS AND RUN SCREAMING FOR THE HILLS IF YOU DON'T STOP ARGUING WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!! STOP LEAVING YOUR CUP ON THE EDGE OF THE TABLE SO THAT THE BABY SPILLS IT AND I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP. STOP MAKING YOUR ROOM SUCH A MESS























There. That felt much nicer. Thank you:LOL


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## pamelamama

LET'S GO! NOW! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE GET YOUR COAT. WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. IT IS TIME TO GO. LET'S GO! NOW PLEASE! GET UP! GET UP! COME ON! <trips over child, restrains self from kicking> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Bearsmama

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME PUT YOUR JACKET ON. PLEASE LET ME FINISH MY DINNER AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU. PLEASE LET ME WIPE MY BUTT AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU. PLEASE LET ME PUT DOWN THE GROCERIES AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU. (Are you all sensing the theme here???).

Thank you. And good night.


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## merpk

Quote:

_*... by pamelamama*
LET'S GO! NOW! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES! PLEASE GET YOUR COAT. WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. IT IS TIME TO GO. LET'S GO! NOW PLEASE! GET UP! GET UP! COME ON! <trips over child, restrains self from kicking> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_










Ditto.


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## Kinipela79

I could have used this thread earlier when all I wanted to do was scream....








MY EARS ARE GOING TO START BLEEDING IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS WHINING!!!! STOP GALLOPING PAST THE BABY'S ROOM LIKE AN ELEPHANT!!!! IT'S TIME TO STOP BEING A DINOSAUR AND BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?! NO - DON'T GROWL...I TOLD YOU IT'S TIME TO BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ANSWER ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!


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## Kiyomi

PLEASE STOP TOUCHING THE COMPUTER. PLEASE STOP0 TOUCHING THE COMPUTER! NO! NO COMPUTER. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MOMMY'S COMPUTER. MOMMY CAN'T AFFORD A NEW ONE. PLEASE STOP SMACKING THE COMPUTER.

(child forcibly removes space bar from keyboard and now space bar doesn't work upon reinstallation! grrr...)

PLEASE STOP TOUCHING THE F***ING COMPUTER! ARGH!!!

Ahhh, that's better.


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## 3_opihi

:fiSTOP KICKING THE WALL!!! DON'T JUMP ON THE BED! GRANDMA IS SITTING ON THE BED AND IF YOU JUMP ON HER, YOU WILL HURT HER! DID YOU HEAR ME? i SAID STOP JUMPING ON THE BED!!! LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE! ALLRIGHT ITS TIME FOR BED!






























Aahh, now what was that you needed dear????


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## Evergreen

no, you can't have mama's juice. STOP GRABBING IT! STOP WHINING < I PUT IT UP FOR A REASON! would you like your own juice? we don't throw juice. AUGHHHH, I SAID NO THROWING JUICE!!! STOP HITTING ME. NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CUP!!!!!
ARGHHH, HERE.

AUGHHHHHH!!!!!!! THATS WHY I SAID YOU COULDNT HAVE IT BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD POUR IT ALL OVER YOURSELF!!!! WHY DON'T YOU GET IT


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## Trishy

WHY DID YOU JUST RIP MY BOOK? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO EAR MY THINGS UP? HOW COME YOU NEVER BREAK YOUR TOYS OR TEAR YOUR BOOKS! QUIT TOUCHING MY STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Bladestar5

Well it looks like this thread has been a big hit!! Keep up the good work, mamas







It really helps to have a place to let off some steam.


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## Kinipela79

I think it's great to know that my kids aren't the only ones out there who torture their poor dear mama sometimes!!

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! FOOD IS FOR EATING...NOT SCULPTING!!!! :LOL


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## DreamsInDigital

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL?????????? I just got the baby to sleep and your ^*&%$#@*$&% yelling woke him up! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


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## ~Jenna~

QUIT LICKING THE FREAKING LAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I feel better


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## Graceoc

Quote:

IT'S TIME TO STOP BEING A DINOSAUR AND BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?! NO - DON'T GROWL...I TOLD YOU IT'S TIME TO BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ANSWER ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
or a saber tooth cat, or a wolly mammoth.......This is SOOO our house (kinda regreading getting the walking with dino/walking with prehistoric beasts set now)


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## Dragonfly

*Quote:*

IT'S TIME TO STOP BEING A DINOSAUR AND BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!?! NO - DON'T GROWL...I TOLD YOU IT'S TIME TO BE A BOY AGAIN!!! ANSWER ME! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!










I sooooooooooooooooooooooo second that emotion.

AND NO, I WON'T PICK UP YOUR TOY THAT YOU PURPOSELY KNOCKED OFF THE COUNTER ALONG WITH MY STACK OF PAPERS AND BOOKS EVEN THOUGH I'VE ASKED YOU TEN ZILLION TIMES NOT TO KNOCK THINGS OFF THE COUNTER! Wha.....? STOP POURING WATER ON THE COUNTER!


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## Kinipela79

And tonight in the store parking lot it was....

Trevor. Trevor...the umbrella. You're hitting people with your umbrella Trevor. The car Trevor, YOU'RE HITTING THE CAR NOW!! DO YOU SEE? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?? YOU'RE HITTING THE CAR WITH YOUR UMBRELLA!!!

Ha ha. If they weren't so cute and so hopelessly in their own world - I'd sell them! :LOL

Quote:

or a saber tooth cat, or a wolly mammoth.......This is SOOO our house (kinda regreading getting the walking with dino/walking with prehistoric beasts set now)
Yes we have seen the saber tooth tiger appear many times..."Mommy, look at my teeth, see my teeth? Look at my huge teeth...are you looking at my teeth? I'm a saber tooth...see my teeth??" AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I love kids! I am glad there are a couple more out there with "beasts" living in the house! :LOL


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## Cloverlove

GO. TO. BED.


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## traceface

STAY. ASLEEP. STOP. WAKING. UP. EVERY. 20. MINUTES. FOR. MILKIES.


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## MommyCat

[jj


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## hotmamacita

STOP YELLING AT YOUR BROTHER!

Whenever I think of yelling this, it always makes me crack up at the thought of my yelling, STOP YELLING, and somehow the irony disapates the desire to yell.... but it IS fun to yell here.

What about what we'd love to yell at our spouse?

GET UP AND HELP ME!

WHY IS THE HOUSE A MESS? HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHITE MAN!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND A TODDLER!!!!!!!!!!!!And a 5 YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MAYBE THAT IS WHY THE HOUSE IS A MESS.


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## BumkinsMum

KATRI NO MOUTH!!!!


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## BumkinsMum

KATRI NO MOUTH!!!! No no no! that's the doggies food not Katri food.. Katri NO MOUTH! Put that handful back! NO MOUTH!!! good girl come see mommy.. (crawls over fussing in defeat) Good girl now want some Nummies? (spits out a kibble) ACK! Katri NO MOUTH NO MOUTH NO MOUTH!!!
Katri.... POTTY!! You pottied on mommy! DON'T PLAY IN THE POTTY!!


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## zinemama

I don't know where your sunglasses are.
I don't know. Wherever you left them.
Please don't ask me where because I don't know, and I'm trying to eat right now.
I DON"T KNOW!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ASKING ME WHERE YOUR FRICKENFRACKEN SUNGLASSES ARE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW AND I REALLY DON'T CARE!!!!
I. SAID. I. DON'T. KNOW.

Ya know, I fed your brother, I fed you, I am TRYING to take care of myself, I am HUNGRY and I want you to STOP TALKING TO ME. NO QUESTIONS! JUST LET ME EAT IN PEACE.

If I hear the word, "sunglasses" one more time, something very bad is going to happen.

Like Mama is going to explode. EXPLODE!!!!!

I'm glad you think that's so funny, you WRETCHED LITTLE INGRATE!


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## DreamsInDigital

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD GO TO SLEEP AND STAY THAT WAY!!!!! I need a shower! Badly! Come here and smell me! Eww!

And you! TURN OFF THAT %$#&@%$ TV!!!!!!!!!!


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## MamaBug

:LOL I am freaking dying here ...:LOL Ok here is my yell for the day, well I would yell this everyday

STOP JUMPING ON THE BED! WHY MUST I REPEAT THIS A MILLION TIMES A DAY! STOP JUMPING ON THE BED!

NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE CANDY IT IS 8AM

PLEASE STOP LICKING YOUR BROTHER, PLEASE STOP TOUCHING YOUR BROTHER, PLEASE STOP TEASING YOUR BROTHER

and of course the classic

GET DRESSED, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES, PUT ON YOUR COAT THE BUS IS COMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:LOL Thanks for the laughs ladies!


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## ja mama

Now I can't yell. I'm laughing too hard at you Mama's.


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## oceanbaby

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL BEFORE YOU LISTEN TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?


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## mamaroni

Whew, I feel better just reading all of your posts! But if i were going to yell, I'd say everything you guys said!


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## Elphaba

STOP PULLING THE CAT'S TAIL! STOP HITTING THE DOG! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, LET THE ANIMALS LIVE IN PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today I want a hysterectomy and a divorce.


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## hotmamacita

I am laughing so hard......I LOVE this thread....

I LOVE THIS THREAD. YES, I DO.


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## ShabbyChic

PLEASE DON'T STAND ON THE CHAIR WHILE YOU ARE EATING. PLEASE SIT DOWN. PLEASE, YOU ARE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF. PLEASE SIT DOWN. WATCH YOUR DRINK...IT'S GOING TO SPILL. SIT DOWN. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH. PLEASE STAND OVER THERE WHILE MOMMY MOPS THE F%^&ING FLOOR FOR THE THIRD TIME TODAY FROM SPILT JUICE.


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## kaya3

FOR THE LOVE OF GOOOOODDDDDD PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR BROTHER LAY DOWN. PLEASE STOP PULLING ON YOUR BROTHER'S ARM. OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT THAT FREAKIN TOY UNTILL YOUR BROTHERLOOKED AT IT. CAN'T YOU GET ALONG WITHOUT ARGUING FOR THE 2 MINUTES IT TAKES ME TO PEEEEE? I DON'T EVEN CLOSE THE DOOR. WHY CAN'T I CLOSE THE DOOR WHENI PEE? I JUST WANT TO CLOSE THE DOOR!
ooohhh, i feel much better now!
thanks
krista


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## Bladestar5

YOU LITTLE MONSTER. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SLEEP? I AM GOING TO FALL ASLEEP FOR GOODNESS SAKES. IF YOU AND THE DOG NEXT DOOR WOULD STOP MAKING NOISE I COULD SLEEP....AND TO THE BABY...STOP HITTING ME WHEN I SLEEP. I AM MAMA, MOMMY, MOM, NOT DADDY, NOT DADDY, NOOOOOOOOOT DADDDDDDDDDY!!!!


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## steph

OMG you ladies are killing me!!! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!!!!

I swear I could take every post and just change the noun and it's something I would love to say to dd!!!! I'm to full of endorphins from laughing to write my current rant..... maybe tomarrow....

keep up the good work, and thank you all for the comic relief!!!


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## redhookmom

NOOOOOO MORE [email protected]#$% YOUGURT!!!!


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## Trishy

From earlier tonight:

Billy, my mouth is full, no more popcorn can fit in there. Billy, thank you for feeding me popcorn, I'm all done. No thank you, Billy. Billy, I don't want anymore. BILLY, QUIT SHOVING POPCORN IN MY MOUTH! BILLY DON't DO THAT! BILLY, I DON'T WANT TO EAT POPCORN AFTER YOU SHAKE MILK ALL OVER IT! I KNOW IT'S WET, I JUST SAW YOU SHAKE MILK ALL OCER IT AND TOLD YOU TO STOP! YOU KNOW NOT TO SHAKE DRINKS ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM THE FIVE MILLION OTHER TIMES I HAVE ASKED YOU NOT TO IN THE PAST TWO DAYS!

And:

DON'T WIPE YOUR SNOT ON MY SHIRT! YOU HAVE ASKED FOR FORTY PAPER TOWELS TODAY AND THE ONLY TIME THAT THE ENVIORNMENTALLY FRIENDLY ALTERNATIVE LOOKS LIKE A GOOD CHOICE IS WHEN I AM WEARING IT? WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?!


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## charmarty

T

Trish, IRL I know of a mama who uses only cut up old t-shirts for kleenex.She just cuts them up like real kleenex size and washes them after each use.She says its wayyy cheaper and enviro friendly!Makes sense cuz my dd uses my shirt all the time too:LOL

Guys this thread is great!!!!!!!!!


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## Mizelenius

I don't feel like yelling this right now (DD just finished nursing and has run off to DH







) but I'd like to say two things:

PLEASE, PLEASE PLAY by YOURSELF for FIVE minutes. FIVE minutes. That's all I'm asking . . . NO, you don't need to nurse or watch TV . . .you REALLY are capable of entertaining yourself for FIVE minues. (I especially wanted to yell this after Christmas-- even with new toys she wanted to nurse constantly!)

and

GO TO SLEEP. I'll give you $50 if you go to sleep! Note: In a moment that I lost it a few weeks ago, I really did yell the go to sleep part







(several times) but I've been known to offer her the $50 as a way of saving my sanity . . . the humor helps. She's never accepted, though!


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## phathui5

Get out of the fridge. If you want something, I'll get it but get the hell out of the fridge. And stop whining. Stop! Just be quiet. FINE. DON"T BE QUIET. JUST STOP WHINING.

No, I can't nurse you right now. You sister is sleeping on my lap and you're being too loud for me to put her down. So stop, please stop whining.


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## ShabbyChic

PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY CLOSET. PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY DRAWERS. PLEASE GET OUT OF MY POCKETBOOK. PLEASE LEAVE MY JEWELRY BOX ALONE. PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY MAKE-UP. PLEASE GIVE ME MY WATCH BACK. PLEASE COME OUT FROM UNDER MY BED. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STAY OUT OF MY S*&T!!!


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## feebeeglee

DON'T. TOUCH. THE. BOOKS. ON. MY. SHELF! These are your books, we take them down one at a ti... NO DON'T PULL THEM ALL OFF THE SHELF! NO DON'T STAND ON THEM! YOU HELP ME PUT THESE BOOKS BACK RIGHT NOW! NO IT IS *NOT* FUNNY, G*DDAMNIT! AAAAAARGH!


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## Kinipela79

Here is a common conversation between my five year old and me...

"Can Mackenzie come over and play?" (4th or 5th time asking this)
"Trevor, what does NO mean?"
"But MOMMY wait, I want to tell you something...If you let Mackenzie come over, I'll let you have a friend over too"
"Trevor, I said NO. No means NO!"
"No mommy wait. I just need to tell you this...if you let -"
"TREVOR I said NO!! Now stop it!!"
"Okay mommy...but MAYBE Mackenzie can come over okay? You think about it...just think about it."
"TREVOR I ALREADY SAID NO!!!!"

At this point what I would LIKE to say to him is "MY GOD MY EARS ARE GOING TO START BLEEDING IF YOU KEEP WHINING AT ME!!!!! I FEEL LIKE LITTLE WORMS ARE EATING THEIR WAY THROUGH MY BRAIN!!!! YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY...WHEN MOMMY ENDS UP AT THE FUNNY FARM IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT YOU LITTLE TWERP. I'M WALKING A REAL FINE LINE BETWEEN SANITY AND INSANITY AND YOU ARE GONNA PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE!!!!

But I don't...so I am saying it here!! :LOL Oy, kids!


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## *Erin*

PLEASE SLEEP LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN AND STOP WAKING UP 58575909 TIMES A NIGHT I CAN"T STAND IT WHEN I HAVE TO NURSE YOU BACK TO SLEEP EVERY HOUR YOU ARE A YEAR AND A HALF OLD, YOU. KNOW. THE. DEAL!!!! SLEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!

OMG MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE IF YOU DONT STOP PUSHING THE TV BUTTONS AND I WIll imPLODE IF YOU DONT STOP WHINING FOR MI MIS EVERY FIVE SECONDS JUST BECAUSE IM SITTING DOWN

AND IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO LET ME BRush YOUR TEETH ONE DECENT TIME A DAY WITHOUT FREAKING OUT

AND WHY WHY WHY DO YOU KEEP GRABBING STUFF OFF THE DESK/TABLE/SHELF/HAMPER AND HURLING IT IN THE FLOOR YOU SEE ME PICK IT UP< YOU KNOW IT DOESNT GO THERE WHY? IM SICK OF SAYING MAYA PLEASE LEAVE THAT THERE< PUT THAT DOWN DONT STAND UP ON THAT

ALSO LET ME WIPE YOUR NOSE WITHOUT RUNNING AWAY ALSO< STOP PINCHING MY BREASTS AND ALSO STOP TRYING TO NURSE STANDING ON YOUR HEAD IT HURTS ME AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT BUCK, FLAIL, AND FLOP ABOUT WITH POOP ON YOUR BUTT ITS SO GROOOOOOOSSS PLEASE BE STILL JUST LET ME CHANGE A POOP DIAPER WITH MINIMAL HYSTERIA JUST ONCE

PLEASE OMG STOP PULLING MY BOOKS DOWN< YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE BOOKCASE FULL OF YOUR BOOKS< WHY MUST YOU DESTROY MINE NO WAIT OMG I DIDNT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD PULL OFF ALLLLLL OF YOURS AND PUT THEM INTO A PILE IN THE FLOOR THAT YOU CAN THEN STEP ON AND SLIDE AROUND AND FALL ON COMING PERILOULY CLOSE TO BASHING YOUR HEAD ON THE BOOKCASES OH LORD PLEASE STOP DESTRoYING THE APT> AND PLEASE HANG OUT WITH DADDY FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES WITHOUT FREAKING OUT HE LOVES YOU AND I NEED A BREAK> GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG G*DDAMNIT$&TW)ET(*EUTGLKSDNG:$R{&GY_X&Y_(

ahhhh.

lmao....


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## ParkersMama

STOP trying to pull me over to the couch to nurse when I've already said not right now. I KNOW you bumped you head, and I kissed it, hugged you, and made sure you are alright. I love you - love you - love you .... but give me ONE FREAKING MINUTE TO MYSELF BEFORE I SCREAM AT THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Organique Gal

STOP SCREECHING LIKE A BANSHEE EVERY SINGLE TIME I PUT YOU DOWN. YOU'RE 5 MONTHS OLD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, CAN'T YOU PLAY IN YOUR EXER-SAUCER FOR MORE THAN 3 SECONDS WITHOUT DEMANDING MY FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION? THAT SCREECHING IS GIVING ME A HEADACHE... FOR GOD'S SAKE I HOLD YOU, SING TO YOU, GIVE YOU MILKIES, GET UP A GAZILLION TIMES IN THE NIGHT FOR YOU. I'VE PLAYED SUPER BABY, PAT A CAKE, PEEK A BOO, ITSY BITSY, THIS LITTLE PIG, SANG EVERY SONG I KNOW, AND YOU STILL AREN'T SATISFIED. STOP SCREECHING. I HATE THAT SOUND. HAPPY COOING NOISES!! NOW!!!!!!!!! NO MORE SCREECHING... EITHER CRY OR BE HAPPY, BUT NO MORE SCREECHING!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHKKKKK

omg, I so needed to do that... whoever thought this up is a genius, I haven't laughed so hard in months!

April, mom of the screecher


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## plum

you mamas are too funny! i fear what she will be like when she's older.

i just don't want to be pinched anymore. she pinches the skin on the back of my hands and it hurts. i'm covered with tiny nail marks.


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## Carol_momof3

WHAT PART OF "DO NOT DO THAT" DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND??????? I'VE TOLD YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN NOT TO CLIMB ON MY FURNITURE, DISTURB THE BABY WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING, YELL, RUN IN THE HOUSE, ETC, AND YET WHATEVER IS I SAY NOT TO DO, YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT DRIVE MOMMY CRAZY DAY??????????? AND SPEAKING OF THE BABY, WHY WON'T YOU NAP FOR MORE THAN 5 FRICKIN MINUTES AT A TIME DURING THE DAY???? I UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR BROTHER AND SISTER ARE VERY INTERESTING AND THAT YOU'D RATHER BE WATCHING THEM THAN SLEEPING, BUT WHEN YOU GET SO TIRED YOU'RE SCREAMING, THE CUTENESS FACTOR IS GONE. JUST SHUT UP AND SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, all better now


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## Dragonfly

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH HHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DO
NOT
POUR
WATER
ON
THE
COUNTER!!!!!!!!!!!

AND FOR CHRISSAKES, CAN WE JUST BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITHOUT TURNING IT INTO A 1/2 HOUR PRODUCTION???


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## coleslaw

STOP SCREAMING AT THE CATS!

STOP TAKING OUT YOUR FRUSTRATIONS ON YOUR FRIEND'S BABY BROTHER!

NO I WILL NOT BUY YOU SOMETHING IN THIS STORE! I BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING AT THE LAST STORE YOU GREEDY LITTLE GIRL! NO YOU MAY NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE FOR BREAKFAST!

STOP SCREAMING AT THE CATS!

AND JUST. GO. TO. SLEEP. AND STAY ASLEEP. YOU ARE THREE YEARS OLD. I WOULD GIVE MY RIGHT ARM FOR A FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP. I LOVE TO SLEEP!! WHY DON'T YOU LIKE TO SLEEP?! AND WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP NEXT TO YOUR FATHER JUST ONE NIGHT? OR EVEN BETTER SLEEP WITHOUT BEING KICKED IN THE HEAD, RIBS, BACK?

STOP SCREAMING AT THE CATS!!!!


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## scoutycat

1)
dd: NO! (frowning, hits drink away, turns away)
me: Ok *shrug*
dd: *whimper, whimper* (reaches for drink like a person dying of thirst)
me: Ok, here
dd: NO! (frowns, hits, turns - repeat)

Me, in head: WOULD YOU JUST MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND?!?!?!?!? AAARRRGGHHH!!!

2) DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TANTRUM EVERYTIME WE CHANGE ACTIVITIES??!!???!!?! AAAARRGGHHHH!


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## Dragonfly

Quote:

_Originally posted by mamapenelope_
*GO OUTSIDE. TAKE SLEEPING BAGS.
*


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## Kinipela79

Quote:

TELL ME WHAT'S SO FREAKING GREAT ABOUT THE RIGHT BOOB TODAY? IS IT MAKING WHITE RUSSIANS INSTEAD OF STRAIGHT MILK?








:


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## mama2many

Okay, better late than never!!! (Although I already blew a gasket earlier today







:







)

IF YOU GUYS DON'T KNOCK OFF THE INSULTING LANGUAGE, GET ALONG AND PLAY NICELY TOGETHER I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND!!!! (I've got 2 home with the chickenpox and my others are too little for school. So EVERYONE's home all week!!!!)

Can't forget the LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE WHEN HE IS NAPPING!! GO PLAY IN THE FAMILY ROOM!! THAT''S WHAT IT'S THERE FOR!!DUH!!!

Okay, I'm feeling better! Thanks for the outlet!!


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## brusselsprout

NO! You cannot have speghetti for three meals a day, you may be threatening a hunger strike, but you will eat if you are hungry. You already ate speghetti today, I will not feed it to you again. There are ten other things you like to eat in the fridge right now. PICK ONE OF THEM! And NO, you can not have popsicles and donuts instead. And stop chanting speghetti over and over and over again. Good grief!

And while we are at it. Will you please stop lounging around the house all day watching me pick up after you? When I ask you nicely to help will you please help me? PLEASE??? All I am asking for is a little help, I am not asking for you to do it on your own. I am not expecting miracles, just a little frickin' HELP!


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## grumo

ARE YOU POOPPING *AGAIN*?!!!! I'VE ALREADY CHANGED YOUR DIAPER TWICE TODAY. WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL DADDY LEFT TO POOP FOR THE THIRD TIME? YOU COULDN'T WAIT ANOTHER HALF HOUR 'TIL HE GOT BACK! I SHOULD JUST PRETEND I DON'T KNOW YOU POOPED....HEY GET BACK HERE DON'T RUN AWAY WE NEED TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SQUIRMING EITHER.

(hey i didn't know you could yell in *bold!*)


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## Kinipela79

I JUST SPENT GOD KNOWS HOW LONG TAPING LITTLE TISSUE PAPER FLOWERS TO YOUR STUPID CROWN FOR YOUR STUPID PARTY AT SCHOOL TOMORROW AND NOW YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU DON'T LIKE THEM BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A COOK??? HOW MANY COOKS HAVE PAPER FLOWER THINGS ON A CROWN??? I SURE DON'T KNOW OF ANY!!!! YOU WANT THEM ALL OFF????? *YOU WANT THEM ALL OFF?!?!?!?!?!* FINE! THERE!! THEY ARE ALL OFF! THANKS FOR MAKING ME DO ALL THE WORK FOR *NOTHING* !!!!!


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## plum

kinipela, i know you're angry but still.








:


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## joyfulheart

IF YOU PLAY WITH YOUR F**KING HOTWHEEL CARS IN THE TOILET ONE MORE TIME TODAY, I AM GOING TO GET YOUR RIP-OFF EXPENSIVE GOGGLES AND SEND YOU SWIMMING IN THERE! YES, I KNOW THE DAMN DOG PLAYS IN THE TOILET WATER, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOUR LAZY ASS FATHER WON'T FILL UP HER WATER BOWL.

GO...TO....SLEEEEEPPPPP!!!!! STOP JUMPING ON THE BED BOYS. I'M GOING TO THROW-UP! GET YOUR CARS AND TRUCKS OFF THE BED AND GO TO SLEEP. NO YOU MAY NOT SLEEP WITH JUST ONE, BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF WAKING UP WITH A HOTWHEEL UP MY ASS!

NOOOO!!!! YOU CAN'T HAVE A TURN WITH THE POWER HOSE. LET MOM FINISH SPRAYING THE DRIVEWAY. NO, I DON'T WANT TO PLAY FIREMAN WITH THE HOSE. YOU ARE NOT ON FIRE. IF I SQUIRT YOU WITH THIS I WILL BLAST YOU INTO THE NEXT TIME ZONE, WHICH IS TEMPTING AT THIS MOMENT. GIVE ME BACK THE POWER HOSE...OKAY, GREAT NOW YOU JUST BLASTED ALL OF THE LEAVES OFF THE PLANT. WELL I _DON'T_ THINK IT LOOKS PRETTIER THAT WAY...

Ahhhhhhhh....thanks. You know it's not good to keep it all inside!


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## Kinipela79

Plum -

You laugh at me but I actually cried. :LOL


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## BumkinsMum

Quote:

_Originally posted by grumo_
*ARE YOU POOPPING AGAIN*?!!!! I'VE ALREADY CHANGED YOUR DIAPER TWICE TODAY. WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL DADDY LEFT TO POOP FOR THE THIRD TIME? YOU COULDN'T WAIT ANOTHER HALF HOUR 'TIL HE GOT BACK! I SHOULD JUST PRETEND I DON'T KNOW YOU POOPED....HEY GET BACK HERE DON'T RUN AWAY WE NEED TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SQUIRMING EITHER.
:LOL This is my exactly the conversation I'd have with my dd six months ago with the additional..
















HOW DID THE POOP GET ALL THE WAY UP THERE???!!!!! YOU COULD HAVE WARNED ME BEFORE I PICKED YOU UP!!!! ITS EVERYWHERE!!!!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!! DID YOUR MASSIVE CLOTH DIAPER CATCH ANY OF IT???? QUIT SMILING LIKE YOU PLANNED THIS!!! WHY, OH WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS WHEN YOUR FATHER IS HOME, HE NEVER BELIEVES ME!!!

I do apologize if this is too graphic for some of you, probably not many though beings we're pretty much immune to all that fun kid stuff by now!! :LOL


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## pamelamama

JUST...SHUT... *UP*!


----------



## Heavenly

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I JUST WANT 5 FREAKING MINUTES ALONE! NO YOU CANNOT COME WITH ME TO THE BATHROOM. DON'T KNOCK THE BABY GATE DOWN, I SAID DON'T KNOCK THE BABY GATE DOWN, HELLOOOOOOOOO? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME??? LEAVE THE FRICKEN BABY GATE ALONE??? GO AWAY I AM ON THE PHONE! FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY I AM TALKING TO AN ADULT FOR 5 FREAKING MINUTES GO AWAY!! I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR DINOSAUR IS TALKING TO ME!!! NO YOU CANNOT TALK, I HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED YET! DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER, I SAID DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SAID YOU COULD? I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD!! GO TO SLEEP, I MEAN IT ELIJAH GO TO SLEEP!!! STOP QUACKING AND GO TO SLEEP! YES I KNOW A DUCK QUACKS GO TO SLEEP!!! NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM YOU JUST WENT 3 MINUTES AGO. YES YOU DID! OLIVIA IT IS 5 IN THE MORNING, IT IS NOT TIME TO GET UP. NO IT ISN'T! PLEASE JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP! PLLLEEEEEASSSSEEEE! MOMMY IS SO TIRED!! JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP!! I'M SERIOUS KID 5 AM IS NOT MORNING, LOOK ITS DARK OUTSIDE. I AM SO TIRED WILL YOU BOTH JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 SECONDS!!! [email protected]$*@!!?$^&


----------



## hotmamacita

Okay Look. I Know That You Three Are In Diapers...no A. I Am Not Talking To You...but See, Can You Just, For One Day Synchronize Your Poopin?

I Know She Gave You That Present But It Is Ugly And Plastic And Makes Too Much Noise....

I Know She Ate The Crayon...


----------



## N2theWoods

WHAT DO YOU WANT?? FOR G*D's SAKE, WHAAATT do you WAAANT??? STOP ROOTING AND ROOTING AND ROOTING VIOLENTLY AT MY NIPPLE AND THEN LATCHING ON AND IMMEDIATELY SPITTING OR YANKING HARD A COUPLE OF TIMES AND THEN LETTING GO AND ROOTING WILDLY AT MY ARMPIT, MY NECK, MY BREAST, MY NIPPLE, BUT NOT LATCHING ON. AND THEN WHEN YOU DO LATCH ON AND ALLLLLLLMOST FALL ASLEEP YOU NIBBLE AND NIBBLE AND NIBBLE UNTIL I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO CLIMB THE WALLS AND I HAVE TO CLUTCH THE COVERS IN IRRITATION. BUT IF I FREE MYSELF DO YOU STAY ASLEEP? NOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAGH! AND MUST YOU ONLY LIKE TO BE CARRIED OVER MY SHOULDER IN SUCH A WAY THAT I HAVE TO CRICK MY BODY OVER TO THE SIDE TO KEEP YOU THERE AND MY BACK FEELS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BREAK OFF. CAN'T YOU PLEASE LIKE TO BE CARRIED LIKE A NORMAL BABY? SO THAT i CAN SEE YOUR FACE AND GET SOME KIND OF PLEASURE FROM HOLDING YOU??? NOOOOOOOOOO

CAN I CRY TOO? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

*whew*


----------



## *LoveBugMama*

DON`T FART ON ME, HONEY. PLEASE DON`T FART IN MY FACE! DON`T FART ON ME, I SAID!!!

I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR UNCLE FOR TEACHING YOU THAT!!!!

STOP FRIGGING FARTING IN MY FACE!!!!

EWWWW, YOU STINK!


----------



## 1Plus2

This is too funny! Here are a couple of my contributions....

If you must nurse while I am on the computer please stop smacking the keyboard and %#$ing everything up!

Why am I not allowed to go to the bathroom alone? Why must you come and check on me every 2 seconds? Why can I not read one page of People magazine on the toilet without answering a million questions?!?!

No you may not have Coke for breakfast...or M&M's.

Please go put on your jammies. Please pick out a book for bed. PLEASE GO PUT ON YOUR JAMMIES. PLEASE PICK OUT A BOOK FOR BED! PLEASE DO IT NOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!

Please STOP TORTURING YOUR SISTERS!!!!!!!!

Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD let me sleep at least one 2 hour stretch tonight without either of you waking to nurse.

Please let me read my emails.

Fun! I'm sure I have a million more!


----------



## ParkersMama

For the last time, THERE IS NO MORE "HAPPY DAY CAKE"!!!!!!


----------



## MissMisha

Actual conversation held at my house last night:

JUST GOOOO TTTTOOOO SLLEEEEPPP. I'M OUT OF SONGS, MY ARMS ARE TIRED AND MY DINNER IS COLD.

You know you are in trouble when you try to reason with a 12 month old. Someone, anyone, please reassure me that he will one day sleep for more than an hour - and I won't be F***ing 93 when it happens!!!!!!


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## Trishy

QUIT CLIMBING UP ON THE COUNTERS! JUST GET DOWN! STOP IT NOW! LEAVE THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER ALONE! DON'T BEND MY WHISK LIKE THAT! GET DOWN! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!


----------



## charmarty

girls,pleeze go to sleep

go to sleep

GO TO SLEEEEPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is 12:30 AGAIN I am not up to another night of a 4 am play date in this house!

Please let this mama sleep.


----------



## Avonlea

I DON'T KNOW..OK..I JUST DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS T O EVERY DARN QUESTION YOU ASK.I JUST DON'T.

BECUASE I SAID SO!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE THE BABY ALONE IF SHE IS ASLEEP!

I WANT TO PEE ALONE ..I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME WIPE MY BUM AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO KEEP ME COMPANY.

NO YOU CANNOT JUST EAT YOGURT .

DO NOT TOUCH THAT!! NO I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME COOK..I NEED YOU TO GET AWAY FROM THE HOT STOVE.

WILL THE 2 OF YOU QUIT PUSHIN ME OFF THE BED??????

DO NOT SPIT WATER IN YOUR SISTERS FACE..NO DON'T SQUIRT ME EITHER!

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE WHILE I GO POTTY. PLEASE. I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH..JUST THE CHANCE TO POOP WITH OUT YOU COMBING ON MY LEGS AT THE SAME TIME..

NO MORE DRAGON TAILS..PLEEEZZEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, i feel much better. off to hug my kids....


----------



## Summertime Mommy

I saw this thread yesterday and today I feeling like adding to it.

WHY CAN'T YOU STOP YELLING WHILE YOUR SISTER TAKES A NAP? wHY CAN'T YOU EAT YOUR LUNCH? wHY DO YOU HAVE TO ASK ME FOR EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SEE? LOOK, NOW YOU WOKE UP YOUR SISTER!!! i WANT TO EAT LUNCH TOO!!

Okay that feels better.


----------



## Bladestar5

I WISH THE GYPSIES WOULD TAKE YOU AWAY LIKE SHEL SILVERSTEIN SAYS. I AM SICK OF THIS CRAP. YOU LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











































I WANT TO GO AWAY AND NEVER COME HOME
WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME CLEAN?
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR SISTER CRY AND WAKE HER UP? WHY CAN'T YOU BEHAVE FOR MORE THAN 2SECONDS? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GET UP EVERY NIGHT AND COME INTO OUR ROOM AND WHINE FOR DADDY? WHY CANT I GET SOME [email protected]^%$^# SLEEP?


----------



## Dr.Worm

Thanks for this thread! I CAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE STORIES. OK..ONE MORE....ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BEAR AND GIRAFFE AND THEY WERE GOING FOR A WALK..OK THEN THEY WERE AT THE PARK AND THEY WERE ON THE SWINGS..WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MAKE UP THE STINKING STORY IF YOU HATE ALL THE ONES I MAKE? WHY CAN'T WE JUST READ BOOKS ONCE IN A WHILE? IF I WAS SO GREAT AT MAKING UP STORIES I WOULD BE A DAMN CHILDREN'S BOOK AUTHOR AND THEN I'D HAVE SOME STINKING MONEY AND WE COULD MOVE OUT OF THIS FREAKIN HELL HOLE HOUSE THAT YOUR STUPID FATHER IS TOO LAZY TO FIX. NO MORE CAILLOU I CAN'T TAKE THAT WHINING LITTLE FREAK ANYMORE..WHY DON'T HIS PARENTS TELL HIM TO SHUT UP..ROSIE IS MORE MATURE THAN HIM NO MORE PLAYING IN WATER..NO..LEAVE THE CAT ALONE...COME GET CHANGED..NOW..NOT UNDER THE TABLE...BE QUIET..DADDY AND NANA ARE SLEEPING..STTOOOO[PPPPP IIIITTTT


----------



## Kinipela79

Quote:

NO MORE CAILLOU I CAN'T TAKE THAT WHINING LITTLE FREAK ANYMORE..

Amen to that! :LOL :LOL :LOL


----------



## Bladestar5

I third the Calliou thing...why is he bald, anyhow???


----------



## grumo

BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!!

PKAY, FROM NOW ON YOU GET 5 WHYS A DAY. THAT'S IT. NO MORE.

I'M NOT TALKING ANYMORE. I AM NOT ANSWERING THAT. I DON'T KNOW WHY. JUST BECAUSE. DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME I AM NOT TALKING FOR 5 MINUTES. IT'S BEEN 5 SECONDS, NO YOU CAN'T ASK ANOTHER QUESTION.


----------



## Summertime Mommy

WOW!! I have 2 in one day.

CAN YOU PLEASE PLAY WITH YOUR SISTER??!! MOMMY NEEDS SOME ALONE TIME NOW. ALL I ASK IS THAT I GET TO EAY LUNCH QUIETLY AND THAT I GET 10 MINUTES TO MYSELF ON THE COMPUTER WITHOUT YOU UP MY A**!! YOUR SISTER IS SITTING AT THE DESK COLORING, WHY CANT YOU SIT WITH HER? DO YOU HAVE TO BRING THE COLORING BOOK IN HERE AND THE CHAIR? WHY CANT YOU JUST COLOR AT THE TABLE WITH YOUR SISTER? MOMMY REALLY NEEDS A MINUTE TO HERSELF!!!


----------



## moonlightinvt

LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP WHINING, STOP PICKING AND SCRATCHING MY SKIN WHILE YOU NURSE.

good for now...


----------



## sunnmama

From bedtime, tonight (plus lots of PMS):

For the love of all that is good, JUST PICK A POSITION AND LAY STILL!!!!!! STOP ROLLING AROUND, KICKING OFF THE COVERS, AND THEN ASKING FOR THEN ASKING FOR THE COVERS AGAIN!!!! STOP FLIPPING YOUR HAIR IN MY FACE!!!!!! AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP FLOPPING YOUR HEAD ONTO THE PILLOW BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO--OUCH!!!!!!--yep....nail me right on the bridge of my nose with your huge, hard head


----------



## momadance

Quote:

_Originally posted by sunnmama_
*From bedtime, tonight (plus lots of PMS):

For the love of all that is good, JUST PICK A POSITION AND LAY STILL!!!!!! STOP ROLLING AROUND, KICKING OFF THE COVERS, AND THEN ASKING FOR THEN ASKING FOR THE COVERS AGAIN!!!! STOP FLIPPING YOUR HAIR IN MY FACE!!!!!! AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP FLOPPING YOUR HEAD ONTO THE PILLOW BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO--OUCH!!!!!!--yep....nail me right on the bridge of my nose with your huge, hard head







*

DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## hotmamacita

Quote:

_Originally posted by sunnmama_
*From bedtime, tonight (plus lots of PMS):

For the love of all that is good, JUST PICK A POSITION AND LAY STILL!!!!!! STOP ROLLING AROUND, KICKING OFF THE COVERS, AND THEN ASKING FOR THEN ASKING FOR THE COVERS AGAIN!!!! STOP FLIPPING YOUR HAIR IN MY FACE!!!!!! AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP FLOPPING YOUR HEAD ONTO THE PILLOW BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO--OUCH!!!!!!--yep....nail me right on the bridge of my nose with your huge, hard head







*










Oh double ditto here....that is SO my 5 yo and 2 yo when they crawl in bed at 5 am when the sun comes up....

.


----------



## hotmamacita

NO, CHICA. YOU CAN'T FLOP BACKWARDS AND SCREAM AND WAIL YOUR ARMS AND LEGS BECAUSE I PUT YOU DOWN. YOU HAVE A TWIN BROTHER WHO IS GETTING SMUSHED BY HIS OLDER BROTHER WHILE YOUR OLDER SISTER IS ASKING ME QUESTIONS NON-STOP. I AM SORRY HONEY. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE OUT OF FOUR WHO HAS EVER THROWN A FIT LIKE THAT AND IT HAS TO STOP NOW
CAN'T YOU SEE I AM JUST A BIT
OUTNUMBERED AND I REALLY AM DOING AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT I HAVE TO PUT YOU DOWN...JUST TRY NOT TO HURT YOURSELF..AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME THAT THIS IS PART OF YOUR PERSONALITY....


----------



## Bladestar5

Oh, Hotmamacita, I feel for you. You really ARE outnumbered.


----------



## Cathi

Oh geez, I wish I'd found this thread a week ago....

NO, SON, YOU MAY NOT SIT ON THE CAT. NO, SON, YOU MAY NOT PICK UP YOUR SISTER BY HER LEGS. NO, SON, YOU MAY NOT PULL MY PANTS DOWN, IT IS NOT FUNNY IN THE LEAST!

DH, WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU WALK INTO THE HOUSE AFTER I'VE SPENT 4 HOURS CLEANING IT AND ASK "WHAT'S THIS PIECE OF PAPER DOING ON THE FLOOR?" WHY IN THE HECK CAN'T YOU SAY "OH, HONEY, YOU CLEANED THE DIRTY GROUT ON THE TILE FLOOR WITH A TOOTHBRUSH AND ALL OF THE TOILETS ARE PRISTINE! WHAT A WONDERFUL WIFE YOU ARE!" BUT, NOOOOOO, YOU HAVE TO FIND THE ONE MICROSCOPIC PIECE OF CRAP THAT I NEGLECTED TO PICK UP AND HOUND ME ABOUT IT. GO AWAY!

NO, DOGS, YOU MAY NOT LICK EVERY SURFACE THAT HAS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF BREASTMILK ON IT! STOP LICKING MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!













































I really should do more yoga.








:


----------



## Ann-Marita

Remember, you have to have your room clean before dance class.

DD, you better get started on your room.

Go clean your room NOW. If it's not picked up by 5:00 you don't go to dance class.

CLEAN YOUR ROOM NOW.

OK, I'm not going to remind you again. You know the drill.

(Later, when it's time to go to dance class.)

No, you are not going to dance class. Because you didn't clean your room. STop whining about it! I gave you fair warning. NO! YOU CAN NOT GO TO DANCE CLASS. YES, I DO TOO LOVE YOU! STOP SCREAMING! GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL ALL THE CLOTHES AND TOYS ARE PUT AWAY!

OK, well you have to come out now for supper. I know you aren't finished, but you have to eat now.

You don't like what's for supper?! This was your favorite meal two weeks ago. NO, I'm not making you something different. Eat what is in front of you or go make your own PBJ. YES, I DO TOO LOVE YOU!

Ann-Marita
dd is 8


----------



## mamak

Corey leave the dog dishes alone...Corey stop dipping things in the dog dish...Corey leave the dog dishes alone...Molly stop hitting your brother, Corey stop standing in the chair, sit on your bottom, stop jumping in the chair, stop jumping in the chair, hands are not for hitting, no we don't bang on the walls with our toys, i said we don't bang on the walls with our toys, we don't bang on your sister either. Who wants to go outside...Good lets get our coats on, come on guys lets get our coats on...is anyone listening, get your coats on, come on guys we need hats too. and shoes, no we can't go out the door w/out shoes, no those are mommy's shoes, come on guys lets get our coats on...


----------



## Kinipela79

*sigh* I feel bad when my babies are sick BUT -

PLEEEEEEEASE!!! I KNOW YOU HAVE THE TROTS BUT YOU REALLY HAVE TO TRY TO MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM...YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF UNDERWEAR AND PJ PANTS!!! AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF BLANKETS TO LAY ON YOU AND THE COUCH!!!! I KNOW YOU FEEL AWFUL BUT IF YOU WOULD JUST TAKE THIS TINY BIT OF MEDICINE YOU WOULD FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!!! OH NO - DID YOU POO AGAIN??? I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN UP YOUR DIARREA ANYMORE!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!


----------



## Trishy

IF YOU DO NOT STOP KICKING THE WALLS, JUMPING, STOMPING AND DOING ANYTHING WITH YOUR FEET THAT WILL MAKE NOISE AND DRIVE ME INSANE I AM GOING TO DUCT TAPE PILLOWS TO YOUR FEET. STOP IT RIGHT NOW! DON'T KICK ME IN THE BELLY, IT HURTS AND THERE IS A BABY IN THERE. STOP JUMPING! STOP STOMPING! DON'T KICK THE WALL, PEOPLE LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE!


----------



## Viola

STOP POKING JESSIE IN THE FACE. I KNOW YOU ARE HER SISTER, I'M HER MOTHER AND I SAY STOP. SEE, SHE IS CRYING NOW, DO YOU THINK SHE LIKES IT???


----------



## RachelGS

STOP TURNING YOUR CUP OVER AND DUMPING OUT YOUR MILK! STOP IT! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT! STOP CLIMBING ON THE POTTY WHILE I'M IN THE SHOWER! STOP PUTTING YOUR TOOTHBRUSH IN THE KITTY'S WATER DISH! AND ANOTHER THING...MY SITTING DOWN FOR TWO SECONDS DOES *not* MEAN YOU MUST NURSE IMMEDIATELY! YOU JUST NURSED! SOMETIMES A MAMA JUST NEEDS TO REST HER TIRED ASS! LEMME SIT DOWN! AND STOP DUMPING OUT YOUR CUP!


----------



## Bladestar5

Just because my boobs are uncovered DOESN'T mean I am inviting you to nurse. I am TRYING to bathe. Ugh.


----------



## grumo

MY BACK HURTS. I HAVE TO PUT YOU DOWN. I HAVE TO I HAVE TO I HAVE TO. CAN'T YOU STAND RIGHT THERE ON THE WATCHING CHAIR 2 INCHES AWAY FROM ME? I CANNOT PUT YOU BACK IN THE MAYA - MY BACK HURTS. PLEASE CAN'T YOU SIT HERE RIGHT NEAR ME FOR 5 MINUTES UNTIL I AM DONE THEN WE'LL GO NURSE. CAN'T YOU SEE - I AM ABOUT TO HAVE THIS POT BOIL OVER AND I DON'T WANT TO BURN THE BISCUITS IN THE OVEN.


----------



## waisin

STOP WHINING!!!PLEASE STOP THROWING THINGS AT MAMA AND DADA!! PLEASE STOP HITTING ME IN THE FACE!!WE CAN'T NURSE 24 HOURS A DAY!! I NEED A BREAK!!ughhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!


----------



## Kinipela79

Watching this thread grow brings me to the conclusion that we are all long overdue for a VACATION!!!! Meet me in Mexico??? :LOL


----------



## Bladestar5

IF YOU DON'T WEAN SOON I AM GONNA HAVE MY BOOBS REMOVED.


----------



## Summertime Mommy

PLEEEASE LOOK FOR YOUR SHOES!! I DID NOT LOSE THEM. THE BABY IS SCREAMING, AND YOU CAN'T LOOK FOR YOUR OWN SHOES? OKAY FINE, I WILL FIND THEM, HERE THEY ARE. PLEASE PUT THEM ON YOURSELF, NO I CANNOT MAKE THE BABY STOP CRYING I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 20 MINUTES, I AM SORRY THAT YOU CAN'T HEAR THE TV. PLEASE STOP PLAYING WITH THE SWING, YOU ARE GONNA BREAK IT, STOP NOW. NO, DON'T PLAY WITH THE THERAPY BALL EITHER, YOU AND YOUR SISTER ALREADY PUT ONE HOLE IN IT. UGH!! PLEASE JUST SIT STILL FOR A MINUTE SO I CAN MAKE YOUR SISTER STOP CRYING!!


----------



## mamak

Quote:

if you don't wean soon i'm going to have my boobs removed
:LOL :LOL :LOL I so remember this feeling...it finally happened last month, and after about two weeks of rejoicing, I must admit I kind of miss it sometimes...


----------



## Bladestar5

I love nursing, don't get me wrong, but every 1/2 hour is ridiculous







:LOL


----------



## sadie_sabot

:







:

You mommas are crackin' me up. I thought this thread would make me sad but I am sitting here at work (no boss today) laughing my butt off!

Yeah.


----------



## Embee

:LOL

_"If you don't wean soon, I'm going to have my boobs removed."_

I've just have had one very rough day with my three year old. So much so that I hadn't even the energy to type up a "yell" for this thread (for the moment anyway), but man am I glad I visited... that quote hit home in a big way, and I TOTALLY get it.







After beating myself up for the last 30 minutes about my currently waning mothering skills, I am happy to report a rather robust (and difficult to stop), case of the giggles. DS and DH have got to be wondering what in the heck mommy is laughing about in the office. Alas, the door will remain locked for at least another 1/2 hour. Suffice to say, I NEED A BREAK!

And so here it is (because I've been so inspired):

IF YOU WAKE UP AT *5AM* ONE MORE DAY THIS WEEK, I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY AND STAY AT THE RED LION FOR A WEEK! I'M SOOOOOOOOO LOSING IT WITH THIS EARLY RISING! I CANNOT TAKE IT ONE MORE TIME. DO YOU SUPPOSE IF I PUT YOU TO BED AT 4:30am, YOU COULD POSSIBLY SLEEP TO I DON'T KNOW, 6:02???

AND BY THE WAY, TAKE A FREAKING NAP! A NAP IF YOU WILL! CAN YOU DO JUST THAT? 20 MINUTES? 3 MINUTES? FALL ASLEEP IN THE CAR? I'LL TAKE ANYTHING AT THIS POINT!

*Sigh* Okay, I feel better. I really do. Thanks for everything.

I'll be back tomorrow.







:

Regards to all,
Em


----------



## lizziejean

I love this thread!!! Inspired! Inspiring! I'm wheezing from laughing so much. But I have to have a turn before I go and find my medication...

IF YOU DON'T STOP %^&*(^&( WHINING MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE, LITERALLY FLY OFF MY SHOULDERS AND BURST INTO A THOUSAND PIECES ALL OVER THIS KITCHEN AND I'D PROBABLY BE THE ONE WHO'D HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP KNOWING MY LUCK

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I JUST LEFT AND NEVER CAME BACK WOULD THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY HUH HUH HUH YEAH WELL JUST KEEP KICKING ME AND BITING ME AND WHINING AT ME AND YELLING AT ME AND I'LL DO IT I SWEAR I WILL

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, DEAR HUSBAND, IF THAT BREAD LEFT A FUNNY TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH, I HAVE JUST SPENT THE LAST HOUR COMING UP WITH SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE TO EAT, COOKING IT, GETTING EVERYONE TO SIT DOWN, CAJOLING THEM TO PUT IT IN THEIR MOUTHS AND SO YOU CAN JUST FRIKKING SHUT THE HELL UP I DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU JUST ATE A WORM YOU ARE 38 YEARS OLD AND I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR GASTRONOMIC HAPPINESS!!!!!!!

OK maybe I should stop now









oh but I can't resist one more

STOP [email protected]#$%$%&^$% HURTING YOUR BROTHER! STOP HURTING HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU ARE HURTING HIM YOU LITTLE WITCH GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM AND LET HIM HAVE A TOY FOR MORE THAN 5 SECONDS FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE!! OH COME HERE SWEETIE YOUR MEAN [email protected]#[email protected]#[email protected]#$ LITTLE BOSSY MEGALOMANIAC CONTROL FREAK JEALOUS SISTER CAN JUST GO [email protected]#$ HERSELF
oh boy I get so angry when she hurts him.... can you tell...

this is so cheaper than therapy...

Elizabeth

dd 12-24-00
ds 7-2-02


----------



## grumo

Quote:

_Originally posted by lizziejean_
*I'D PROBABLY BE THE ONE WHO'D HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP KNOWING MY LUCK*
No doubt!:LOL


----------



## nikirj

NO!! NO!!! LEAVE MY BELLY ALONE!!! ALL THAT EXTRA SKIN IS THERE FROM YOU - DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY WITH IT ALL THE F#(*&[email protected](*#&% TIME!?!?!?! NO - QUIT MESSING WITH MY BELLY BUTTON!!!!!!! OUCH!!! YOU CAN'T NURSE ON THE EXTRA BELLY SKIN!!!

STOP SPRINKLING JUICE ON YOUR SISTER!!!! STOPIT!! STOP IT OR I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU LIQUIDS AGAIN!!!

YOUR BROTHER DOESN'T WANT TO BE A HORSEY RIGHT NOW!!!

NO CANDY FOR BREAKFAST! I SAID NO CANDY FOR BREAKFAST!! M&Ms are CANDY!


----------



## WithHannahsHeart

Quote:

_Originally posted by redhookmom_
*NOOOOOO MORE [email protected]#$% YOUGURT!!!!*
EXAAAACTLY!! My child could live on yogurt alone if i let her







:

Also: Stop hitting mama! I know you hit me because it feels safe to vent all your complicated toddler emotions on me, and because frankly you're pissed that i won't let you use the permanent marker to make 'pitchas' with. However, it actually hurts my feelings when you abuse me! And, stop acting out and hitting the kids at the gym (where i work and she accompanies me); it is embarrassing that i am percieved as not being able to control you because i won't spank you to correct your behavior. I know you're tired and not feeling good, and that you don't understand why mama can't give you all of her attention, but this hitting thing is unacceptable.
Oh, and if you twist away from me again during a diaper change like the Amazing Alligator Girl, i am gonna







.


----------



## neveryoumindthere

GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP??!!? I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! YOU *CANNOT* SLEEP AFTER 11PM, WAKE UP EVERY 1-2 HOURS AND BE UP AT 6!! I CANT EVEN SEE STRAIGHT! THEN YOU WANT ME TO WALK AROUND FOR AN *HOUR* ONLY TO HAVE U WAKE UP CUZ DH TURNED ON THE DOWNSTAIRS LIGHT??? DO YOU SEE ME SITTING HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALL IN DEFEAT??? DO YOU SEE ME CRYING IN FRUSTRATION?? DO YOU CARE???? UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH LEAVE ME ALONE FOR JUST 10 MINUTES! I PROMISE I'LL BE NICER IF YOU TAKE A NAP, JUST ONE, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK>????












































btw, it's not even 8 am







:







:



















































ok, feeling a little better now...


----------



## mommymushbrain

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU HAD TO GO POTTY WHEN YOU WOKE UP?!?!?!?! NO, GIMME ALL THOSE SWEET BABBLY SLEEPY TALK AND DOZE BACK OFF ONLY TO FRICKIN' PEE ON ME 15 MINUTES LATER! 2 WEEKS WITHOUT BED TIME DIAPERS AND YOU PEE ON ME!!!! ARGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

*me gets up to change clothes and sheets at 5am, DH is supposed to be awake to go to work, but isn't*

YES, DEAR, IT'S 5AM.... TIME FOR WORK... WHY AM I CHANGING THE %^&* SHEETS? BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER PEED ON ME! NEXT TIME I'LL AIM HER YOU WAY...

*now my other child is awake* GO BACK TO BED, IT'S 5AM DAMMIT! YES, YOUR SISTER PEED ON ME. YES, YOU PEED ON ME TOO WHEN YOU WERE A BABY! QUIT ASKING ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE A BABY FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME!!! I BOUGHT YOU FROM WALMART AND YOU DIDN'T COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS SO I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE A BABY!!!!

*hubby is up and grumpy* QUIT KICKING THE F$^#$*#ING TOYS AROUND, YOU'LL WAKE EVERYONE UP... YES I REALIZE EVERYONE IS ALREADY UP BUT KNOCK IT OFF!!!!! NO I DIDN'T GET AROUND TO PICKING UP THE [email protected] TOYS YESTERDAY, WHY DIDN'T YOU GET OFF YOUR LAZY ARSE AFTER YOU GOT HOME AND HELP OUT A LITTLE... AS MUCH ENERGRY AS YOU PUT INTO B&^%(ING ABOUT CRAP AROUND HERE COULD KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN FOR A YEAR!!!!

yes, it's been one of those mornings.........


----------



## Cathi

Quote:

_Originally posted by mommymushbrain_
*AS MUCH ENERGRY AS YOU PUT INTO B&^%(ING ABOUT CRAP AROUND HERE COULD KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN FOR A YEAR!!!!
*
Boy, ain't that the truth!

I hate it when dh says "What do you want me to 'help you with'?"

Gee, dear, take your pick! Toys, laundry, dishes, cooking, toilets, bills, children, pets.....you're standing in the middle of it, don't ask me what to HELP me with, just DO SOMETHING!!!!!


----------



## Katrinawitch

DH#2, I love you so much, but please, please, please get up off the couch, brush your teeth and hair, put your shoes and coat on, and let's leave for school now. We go through this EVERY MORNING. Why don't you understand that the more you dawdle, the madder Mommy gets, and that doesn't make a nice day for anyone. DO YOU HEAR ME?????? WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS EVERY SINGLE FRIGGING MORNING????? YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS EVERY DAY....WHY NOT JUST DO THEM THE FIRST TIME I ASK SO WE DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS.

Whew. that felt better! (she's 9, by the way!)

DH #1, you know I love you, but why do you have to be so mean to your little sister? You know she idolizes you; would it kill you to answer her questions nicely instead of being such a SNOT all the time? Would it kill you to let her in your room once in a while, or to be nice to her when your friends are around? Why do you have to be SUCH A B*TCH TO HER????? WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?????

Whew! I'm done now (my oldest is 13, by the way!)

Great thread!


----------



## shershine

NO! WE ARE NOT STOPPING AT THE GAS STATION TO GET CANDY! HAVE WE EVER DONE THAT BEFORE? AND STOP ASKING FOR ICE CREAM WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE ICE CREAM! WHERE IS THIS JUNK FOOD OBSESSION COMING FROM?? WE EAT HEALTHY HERE! YES, IT'S A VEGETABLE AND IT WON'T HURT YOU!
PLEASE STOP PULLING AND PROBING AT MY BOOBS, JUST PAT THEM OR LAY YOUR HEAD ON THEM OR SOMETHING! I WILL BE NURSING A NEW BABY 24/7 IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS AND I NEED A BREAK!
WHY DO YOU NEED TO ALWAYS BE OUT SOMEWHERE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH STAYING HOME ONCE IN AWHILE? AM I THAT BORING?

Whew, I feel better now, lol!


----------



## jayayenay

.


----------



## julie128

GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY SHIRT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oy.


----------



## julie128

that didn't help at all.


----------



## Raven

*Raven takesa deep breath*

OH FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE! PLEEEEEZE STOP MAKING ME ASK YOU THE SAME FREAKIN THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! IT REALLY GRATES ME WHEN YOU DONT LISTEN!!!! YES I KNOW YOUR BROTHER IS CUTE BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO WAKE HIM UP EVERYTIME HE FALLS ASLEEEP!!!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGG!


----------



## nikirj

YES HE IS AWAKE NOW!!! HOW COULD HE NOT BE AWAKE WITH YOU STOMPING AROUND THE BEDROOM LIKE A MOOSE!!! NO, YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH THE TOY INSTRUMENTS NOW - THE IDEA WAS THAT HE STAY ASLEEP!!!


----------



## Summertime Mommy

I JUST ASKED YOU TO LEAVE HER ALONE, HOW DID YOU UNDERSTAND THAT AS GO WAKE HER UP! YES I AM MAD, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET HER TO TAKE A NAP FOR 2 HRS AND EVERY TIME SHE FALLS ASLEEP YOU INSIST ON WAKING HER UP!! PLEEEASE GO PLAY WITH YOUR BIG SISTER SO I CAN TRY TO GET THE BABY BACK TO SLEEP!!!


----------



## Leatherette

I HATE PLAYING WITH CARS!!!!!!!!

I HATE PLAYING WITH CARS!!!!!!!

There. I said it.

L.


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

is for you and yours had me in stitches because I read it right after this

http://www.comics.com/comics/committ...-20040222.html

and here is one for everyone to smooth out the nerves LOL
http://www.comics.com/comics/committ...-20040224.html


----------



## Xenogenesis

OK, Ladies.

I Get It.

You Gals Have Some Kind Of Webcam Set Up In My House.

I'm A'gonna Find It . . .


----------



## 2much2luv

OMG!!! This thread is so what I need today!!! I am dying over here. :LOL

Ditto...just ditto...:LOL


----------



## Katie Bugs Mama

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! For the love of God, stop talking! I'm begging you. Please....stop talking!!!!!!!!!!

Had to get that out of my system.

Here's a typical conversation with 3 yo Kate these days:

Kate: What letter does bubble bath start with?

Me: Well, it's two words--bubble starts with b and bath starts with b.

Kate: What doesn't start with b?

Me: Lots of things dont' start with b.

Kate: What doesn't start with b?

Me: Moon. Moon starts with M not with b.

Kate: Oh. What else doesn't start with b?

Me: Lots of things don't start with b.

[repeat substituting different words for "moon."]

I swear if I get one more "what doesn't" question my ears are going to start bleeding.


----------



## Raven

followed by








and a quick


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

but here I am

ARGGH you are all driving me nuts with the fussing and fighting
KNOCK IT OFF
You at 10 1/2 have more attitude than your 17 old brother NO It is not following Dad's disagreement guidelines it IS ARGUING WITH YOUR MOTHER AND ISN"T TOLERATED IN THIS HOUSE THIS WAY
I don;t know what your problem is this last week but if you do not quit aggravating your two older/st siblings and causing havoc I am going to sell you to the gypsies!
Even your extra patience for being different has worn thin and snapped

I AM YOUR MOTHER NOT A (*&+(&*(&B REFEREE!!!


----------



## hjohnson

If I hear my son shriek one more time, his new annoying habit, I am going to









I will be glad once he gets out of this shrieking phase.


----------



## Embee

Bumping this WAY OLD thread because I remember how amazingly helpful and hilarious it was to read, and what a lift it gave me to think of it, just before I might BLOW. I do believe it's helped in warding off some major temper tantrums. Mine that is.









Allow me to (re)start:

"I don't freaking care how neat the dinosaur fruit snacks look! I just don't care! We're not buying high fructose fruit crap! We're not. NOT NOT NOT NOT buying crap! If you want treats, we'll bake something with _real_ ingredients and cut it into dinosaur shapes. My God, we'll buy some serious chocolate and chow down for GOD's sake. If you want fruit, we'll eat fruit! So there! No more whining! No more looking at the fruit snack box for hours in the store! No more trying to sneak it into the cart! No more asking, and _if_ asked, you will be ignored! NO! MORE! _NO MORE!_









Whew, that really does help... anyone else interested in helping me revive this thread?


----------



## ~Nikki~

Ok, here's mine:

If you're going to wake up 17 times a night, please _allow_ me to help you fall back asleep, instead of grumping and groaning and kicking and flailing. If I decide to be really super nice, and invite you into my bed, please don't ruin it by steamrolling your infant brother. That's not nice.


----------



## Proudly AP

No, I Don't Want To Play Barbies. No, I Don't Want To Be {insert Name Of Prince Here: Eric, Stefan, Aidan, Charming, Philip, The Beast}

When I Do Play Barbies Stop Making Your Freaking Princess Run Away And Be 'shy' Every Time I Talk To Her. That Makes Me Not Want To Play Even More. Argh.

Leave The Cat Food, Please. Please Move Away From The Cat Bowls. Step Away From The Freaking Bowls.


----------



## Nature

STOP EATING THE KITTY FOOD! STOP TOUCHING THE KEYBOARD! MAMA'S COMPUTER!! Please! When I get up, and ask you if you want something to drink, don't say "no" and then throw your cup at my head when I sit down!!!







: In fact, stop &$&*@ throwing things at me PERIOD! ... and stop using my nipples to help you get onto my lap quicker!









(oh yes.. I think this thread could come in handy..)


----------



## wildmonkeys

Gas is more than $3 a gallon! I don't want to "go in the CAAAAR - go in the CAAAAR - go in the CAAAR - go in the CAAAR - go in the CAAAR - go in the CAAAR"









BJ
Barney & Ben


----------



## guestmama9915

I DON'T WANT TO READ THE SAME BOOK FOR THE 20TH TIME TODAY! I hate books. I hate books! I HATE BOOKS!

I KNOW you love the baby inside mama's tummy but that doesn't mean you have to JUMP ON IT!

Phew.


----------



## dillonandmarasmom

I Don't Know Where Your Hammer Is...i Need You To Get Ready For The Store...no We Don't Have Milk...

Stop Pinching And Laying On Your Sister...no She Does Not Like That!!!

You Are Driving Me Insane!!!why Did You Wake Up At 6 Am Today????i Don't Want To Be Awake Yet!!!you Know I Didn't Get To Sleep Until 1am!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## j924

NO! you can not pee on Mama. No! you can not pee on your friends. No! peeing on the dog. Will you please pee in the freaking potty!!!!

AAAAHHH Thank You


----------



## RedWine

This entire thread is cracking me up. And I can oh so relate.


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

Wash the dishes means I want them done NOW not when you feel like it

oldest

Please ! STOP! ASKING! ME! WHY! NO ONE WILL HIRE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we have been through that, you don't want to listen to me and accept that I might, I just *might* be right and you could improve things ...

so GO AWAY AND SHUSH ALREADY


----------



## Camiroo

Whew.... here goes:
STOP putting you sister in the kitchen cupboard! You hear the screams??? That means she doesn't like it! If we eat macaroni and cheese ONE MORE TIME, I will die. If you're going to hug your sister, don't include strangling, JUST HUG. You will survive if I put you down for a moment. YOU'LL BE FINE!!! YOU ARE 14 MONTHS OLD... QUIT BEING LAZY AND JUST *WALK* ALREADY!! YOU'RE FAT AND I CAN'T CARRY YOU FOREVER! STOP STANDING ON THE COUCH!!! I SAID SIT ON YOUR BUTT! ON. YOUR. BUTT. NOW. YOU'RE GOING TO CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN!!!

Geez, I love my crazy kids.


----------



## paquerette

you can't eat newspaper. you can't eat carpet fuzzies. you can't play in the dirty diaper pail. you can't crawl down the hallway and into the kitchen and bathroom. stop pulling stuff off my desk and the hallway table. you have toys; why aren't they as interesting? the kitty doesn't want to play with you, she wants to sleep. please stop biting mama's facey. it's cute, but not when you get in there with the toofers. we do not splash in the little potty just because I can't get away from you for 5 seconds to dump it out. we do not eat paperback books.

okay, now I'm :LOL


----------



## annab

When we are downtown on a busy street and I tell you to stop swinging on the parking meter--I f'ing mean it! There is someone trying to park there, and you are going to get hit by the car or make them wait. GET DOWN!!!!! NOW G-d dammit!!!

What now?! Stop throwing rocks at the building!!! Rocks can be thrown in water only and YOU KNOW IT. JUST GET IN THE F"ING CAR!


----------



## katebleu

i'm just trying to change you're diaper. quit wiggling! ahh!!!

i know your gums hurt and you can't sleep, but just shut the hell up. i'm going bonkers!!!!

thanks. i'll be back later.


----------



## Treasuremapper

For the four year old:

Please, just use this potty. It is just like the potty at home. No, it won't hurt you. Please, I put the Baby Bjorn ring on it, it is safe, I will hold you in my arms. LOOK, JUST USE THE FRICKING POTTY! DON'T PEE IN THE CAR AGAIN BECAUSE WE CAN'T MAKE IT HOME AFTER GIVING YOU TWO CHANCES TO USE THE POTTY TEN MINUTES BEFORE LEAVING.

ok, that felt better.


----------



## ashleep

This thread is great!!!! :LOL

Right now I'm pretty calm and collected, but i'll be back.


----------



## goodcents

STOP WHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

right friggin now...

And while I am it......if you kick me in bed again I am going to really scream.
I need to sleep. Really I do. I know you don't. But I do. I am such a better mommy when I have sleep. I don't even need alot. Just like 4 hours of uninteruprted slumber would completely rejuvenate me.

Gentle discipline is so ready to get spanked in this house.

Blah.


----------



## ashleep

Do you have to have a nipple in your mouth Aalllll night long? I want to sleep on my back but it's impossible cause my boobs don't stretch that far!!!!! my back hurts from balancing on my side for the last 5 hours!!!


----------



## luckylady

For The Nine Millionth Time, No!!!!!! You Cannot Have Cookies For Breakfast!!! Stop Saying Please And Whining For An Hour - The Answer Is No!!! You Ask Everyday And Everyday The Answer Is No!!! Give It Up Already!


----------



## Mary-Beth

GO TO BED...NOW!

I've had a really tough month- I've actually really yelled at my kids and I thought I never would!!!







: I'm feeling back on track though!


----------



## RedWine

PLease go away. Please please go away right now. Just for half an hour or so, please go play quietly by yourself so I can for ONCE have some time to myself.

And stop screaming while your sister is trying to sleep!!!!


----------



## Junebug

STOP PINCHING MY FACE!!! WHY DO YOU ABUSE ME WHEN ALL I DO IS LOVE YOU??? WHY!?!? WHY!?!? WHY?!?!









oh, and this too....

*NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO*!

AHH! I've been stifling that for 6 months now!
Damn that was good!







:


----------



## jyurina

NO YOU CAN'T HAVE IT RIGHT NOW! wE HAVE TO GO, PLEASE PUT ON YOUR SHOES, PLEASE, YOUR SHOES, PUT ON YOUR SHOES OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!STOP MAKING FORTS OUT OF ALL THE FURNITURE, NO ONE CAN SIT DOWN!
THIS IS MY CHOCOLATE YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY. GO TO BED RIGHT NNNNNOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!


----------



## Annikate

This thread is hilarious!

Ok- here goes:

I already told you; yes, you can have 'boobie' as soon as I get Katie to sleep. But you have to be quiet so she can fall asleep and then we'll snuggle and you can have boobie. Yes you can see her. See? She's almost asleep. Be very quiet okay? Shhhh.

OH GREAT! NOW YOU WOKE KATIE UP! I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET. PLEASE, WHY WON'T ANYBODY IN THIS HOUSE SLEEP? MOMMY JUST WANTS SOME SLEEP.

OH, AND you little one, why are you still up every 2-3 hours at night? You're supposed to be able to sleep 4-5 hours straight by now?

DON'T YOU ALL KNOW THAT A PERSON COULD *DIE* FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION?

DO YOU WANT MOMMY TO DIE? WELL? WELL? DO YOU?

SLEEP

SLEEP

SLEEP

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I'm still tired but I feel a little better. . . . lol!


----------



## BumkinsMum

Do you HAVE to watch Thomas the friggin' Tank Engine AGAIN??!!!
I am so sick of that damn train I'm making up new lyrics to the song to fit my mood!! And NO they're NOT for little one's ears!!
Do you have to have Thomas playing in the morning and Thomas all day long?!
Katri you're an adorable little GIRL!!! GIRLS are suppose to like Strawberry shortcake or My Little Pony! Hell even Sesame street is fine but please please PLEASE No more THOMAS!!!

And you little fart, you get off your butt and crawl!! Don't sit there screaming at me until I pick you up!!! You are fully mobile Loric, there is nooooo reason you shouldn't be crawling around to get where you want, I shouldn't have to CARRY you everywhere!!

Finally piece and quiet when Loric falls asleep with me in the recliner and Katri joins us, as long as THOMAS is playing on the TV.

Sleep is good, even if you dream about the Island of Sodor.....ah


----------



## Embee

Wow! This thread is having the very same effect on me this time around. I'm laughing so hard I'm tearing up... it is so helpful to "unstifle" to those who really understand.
















Aside from DS's ever elusive fruit snacks, bedtime has become a real issue around here. Again...

FOR THE LAST TIME PLEASE: IF YOU RELAX AND CLOSE YOUR EYES, IT WILL HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP EASIER AND FASTER! STOP LAYING THERE STARING AT THE ***DAMN CEILING FOR AN HOUR AND HALF _WAITING_ FOR YOUR EYES TO CLOSE ON THEIR OWN! CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE THEM! NOW! IT'S ALREADY PAST 8 O'CLOCK AND MOMMY NEEDS A BREAK. SHE NEEDS TO BE ALONE FOR TWO FLIPPIN' MINUTES BEFORE DADDY COMES IN FROM WORK AND STARTS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT _HIS_ DAY!

Whew, it has been a rough year I think. Things are slowly easing, but age four has been one serious merry-go-round of *ACK!* Just one ACK! after another...









The best and thank you for joining back in here.


----------



## kofduke

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Embee*
FOR THE LAST TIME PLEASE: IF YOU RELAX AND CLOSE YOUR EYES, IT WILL HELP YOU FALL ASLEEP EASIER AND FASTER! STOP LAYING THERE STARING AT THE ***DAMN CEILING FOR AN HOUR AND HALF _WAITING_ FOR YOUR EYES TO CLOSE ON THEIR OWN! CLOSE YOUR EYES! CLOSE THEM! NOW! IT'S ALREADY PAST 8 O'CLOCK AND MOMMY NEEDS A BREAK. SHE NEEDS TO BE ALONE FOR TWO FLIPPIN' MINUTES BEFORE DADDY COMES IN FROM WORK AND STARTS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT _HIS_ DAY!

.

Wow...I was coming here to write THIS. Seriously. Exactly word-for-word, perhaps adding something about how laying on a twin bed with a kicker, 32 weeks pregnant isn't really comfy for mommy. My sympathies, mama.


----------



## Embee

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kofduke*
My sympathies, mama.

And back to you, mama.









Hang in there.









Regards,
Em


----------



## BumkinsMum

Yes you have to take a bath. At least once in a while.
No Pigs like being dirty so they don't take baths.....
No you're not a pig, nice try.


----------



## seedling

Okay, I just spent $50 on supplements because I'm blue. I can take them all back now. I just need to come read this thread. OMG, you ladies crack me up. We should compile these for a by-the-toilet book.


----------



## Destinye

Please Stop Whining Its Horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Cant Take It!!!!! I Am So Glad That You Fell Asleep Nak! Omg You Are So Cute Now But Why Did You Have To Whine All Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Why Do Babies Have To Get Teeth All At Once?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Sure Hope Your Daddy Cleans Up Your Toys When He Gets Home As 50 Million Times In 1 Day Is Enough!!!!!!!!!!!! Argggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please Stop Chomping On My Nipple It Hurts And I Need A Break.

Thats Better....

I Love You So Much!


----------



## Destinye

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleepurdie*
Do you have to have a nipple in your mouth Aalllll night long? I want to sleep on my back but it's impossible cause my boobs don't stretch that far!!!!! my back hurts from balancing on my side for the last 5 hours!!!

Mine hurts from balancing on my side half off the bed for the last 20 months, 25 days and 19 hours...


----------



## seedling

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ashleepurdie*
Do you have to have a nipple in your mouth Aalllll night long? I want to sleep on my back but it's impossible cause my boobs don't stretch that far!!!!! my back hurts from balancing on my side for the last 5 hours!!!


Wait, did I post that? Seriously...did I?


----------



## Annikate

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleepurdie
Do you have to have a nipple in your mouth Aalllll night long? I want to sleep on my back but it's impossible cause my boobs don't stretch that far!!!!! my back hurts from balancing on my side for the last 5 hours!!!

Quote:

Wait, did I post that? Seriously...did I?

Nope, that was me. Oh ... wait a minute, what's my username? . . . Oh, I can't remember ANYTHING because I JUST NEED SOME SLEEEEEEEEP!!!!, (she says with a nursling on her lap) . . . AGAIN!

:LOL


----------



## mamaofthree

Don't wake up the baby. Stay out of my room. STAY OUT OF MY FREAKIN' ROOM YOU WILL WAKE UP THE BABY! I JUST WANT 10 MINUTES TO MY SELF OR I WILL GO INSANE! DO YOU ALL WANT ME CRAZY???????!!!!!!

H


----------



## JessasMilkMama

What Do You Mean You Cant Walk?! You Have Been Walking Since You Were 9 Months Old, I Think You Can Get Up Off Of The Floor And Walk! And Stop Asking Me The Same Thing Over And Over. Im Not Deaf! If You Dont Stop Whining I Think I Am Going To Flip Out!! And You, Miss Eva, Just Relax! I Am Only Putting You Down For A Second To Rinse Out The Sink So I Can Give You A Bath. You Dont Have To Freak Out!! Sorry To Have Dared Put You Down For One Freaking Minute!!!!! Argh!


----------



## Embee

Do you have to role play 24/7? Do you? I SOOOOO appreciate this on SOOO many levels, but I'm SOOOO tired of helping you create one constume after another. I'm sick sick sick of changing your bunny ears to bear ears and cutting out millions of damn construction paper cut outs from whale spouts to anklysaurus clubs. It's something different every other minute! I feel more like the props and make up woman then your mother! I love you. You're amazing. But if you ask for one more costume today, I'm gonna blow. I've been averaging washing one dish per 10 minute period. I can't get the kitchen cleaned up at this rate. I just can't. And my OCD is kicking in so this is something I'm VERY passionate about, you see? You're going to have to be a bear for a few extra minutes until I can figure out a way to make a shark's dorsel fin and attach the damn thing to your back and that's that. Or, here's an idea: YOU CAN BE YOU! You know, YOU?! YOURSELF? Have you tried being YOURSELF for a minute? You're a pretty terrific kid. You might just like being yourself. For one minute? Maybe? Please? Wait... one minute... who are again?









I'm tired. Irritable. I'll get over it. This thread is helping. Keep it coming please...









Warmly,
Em


----------



## Leilalu

ok, after last night, I have to scream at something














:

PLEASE STOP DIGGING YOUR COLD LITTLE FEET IN THE BACK OF MY PANTS WHILE I TRY TO SLEEP DD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STOP THE PAWING, TWISTING, TURNING, MOVING, KICKING AND TRYING TO FIND A COMFORTABLE POSITION AT MY EXPENSE!!

oh, mamas- I got NO sleep last night







See, I have to face ds, with dd now on the other side, spooning me while we sleep. Last night, I was tucking the covers around my back so she couldn't stick her feet in ALL night. As in, tucking, retucking, swatting away little feet....ugh. Usually it's just when she wakes in the morning. I am used to that now. But ugh.... I have had two c-sections and have some pretty serious muscle memory trauma I think from those spinal tap needles.And when ANYONE touches that small of my back....it gives me shivers.

Wow, ok, I feel a little better.

Actually dd was really cute when we finally got up and made it all feel worthwhile. She got up and was excitedly saying"I'm going to be three!three!"


----------



## ashleep

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Destinye*
Mine hurts from balancing on my side half off the bed for the last 20 months, 25 days and 19 hours...

Oh your poor back! Mine always *just* starts to feel better when I lay down for the night... and then dd smells me and needs the na-na.







:

I LOVE YOU, KID, BUT SHEESH! JUST BECAUSE IT'S THERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO SUCK ON IT!!!!!


----------



## LianneM

STOP FREAKING BITING MY NIPPLE!!! Grrrrr!

(Thank you for this thread... I just feel this anger rushing through me and I hate it so much! I'm crying b/c I hate feeling this way, but it just hurts SO BAD and I can't predict it or prevent it, he just CHOMPS DOWN. OMG)


----------



## **guest**

Pick up your toys, please. Get down. Stop throwing your toys. Hey...Put my (insert breakable item here) DOWN! Ds, GENTLY! Don't throw things on the floor! Pick up your toys. NOW! Stop whining. No temper tantrums. No, I don't WANT to draw an elephant for the millionth time today. No, I don't want to draw another circle. You do it. Get DOWN!
Hey! Leave mommies computer alone. Stop! I said STOP! Don't you freakin understand the word STOP?! Good freaking lord, I said GET DOWN! Put the chair back. The chairs belongs at the table. No, the chair belongs at the table. No, you can't watch another movie. You JUST watched Elmocize 5 times in row! No, i'm not going to open the refridgerator. Your lunch is on the table. You are supposed to pick up your toys so we can eat lunch. No, you can not have a cookie for lunch.
Oh COME ON! You are NOT going to throw up at the site of that vegetable! DS....No throwing up! Don't look at it then! Eat the Quorn nugget. Ds, stop gagging...You don't have to eat the veggie, just the nugget. FINE, here have a stupid cookie! Now you've had molasses cookies for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. Great. That is so not HEALTHY! You need to eat healthy food!
I said GET DOWN!
Omg, I need a time out. Do what you want, I'm locking myself in the bathroom.
LEAVE. ME. ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!


----------



## Mamajamz

OMG I LOVE THIS THREAD!!!! I've needed this for 7 years!!!! :LOL

OH, here goes....oh this is going to be good.....

NNOOOOOO!!!!!!! You are NOT hungry!!! You just got up from the table after NOT eating the f$$cking scrambled eggs you just whined about for the last hour!!!!! and NO!!!!!!!! WE are NOT doing anything fun today!!! WE just went to the park and had a picnic and played with playdoh and paints. WHat? that isn't fun enough??? The take your fun little ass to your room and whine to all those toys we spent $$ on!!!! NO, better yet, go scoop them up and we'll take all your toys to Goodwill to some GOOD little grateful child who will actually play with toys and freakin understand that WE MAKE OUR OWN FUN IN THIS HOUSE, dammit!!!!!!! YOU sure LOOK like you're having FUN young man, with your hand in your shorts all the friggin day....with so much practice handling it, you would think you could aim INTO the potty for once instead of beside it so your bathroom could smell like something besides [email protected]!!!

Oh, that's so much better. *big sigh*


----------



## Nosebite

Please Don't Eat Your Shoes!!!!! Shoes Are Not For Eating!


----------



## ComaWhite

I Am *NOT* A Jungle Gym!


----------



## ksjhwkr

Thank you for this thread, I SO NEED IT!!!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE STOP HITTING MAMA!!!! STOP HITTING ME, STOP BITING ME!!! IF YOU ARE MAD, STOMP YOUR FEET, DON'T BITE MAMA!!! WE'RE NOT LEAVING RIGHT NOW, GET OFF THE TABLE, NO I'M NOT WEARING MY BOOTS RIGHT NOW. NO MILK RIGHT NOW....NO NO NO!!!!! MAMA NEEDS A REST, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mamaofthree

Just Try It! One Damn Bite! You Would Like It If You Just Tried It! It's A Muffin For God Sake, A Sweet Yummy Muffin! Why Must You Be So Darn Stubborn All The Time. Why Won't You Try Anything New? No More Cheese, Or Bread Or Juice! You Will Eat Fruit And Veetables And My Damn Baking!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhh!!!!!

H


----------



## NinaBruja

im just going to the bathroom! i have to pee too! i promise i will be right back. why do you have to scream at me everytime i have to pee!?!?

yes im goin to put you down now. youre fricking huge! my back is killing me put your feet down! JUST STAND UP ALREADY!!!

thats the food we have, thats all we have. no i cant make anything else, we dont have potatoes! we dont have peas! JUST EAT YOUR DAMN FOOD!

STOP THROWING YOUR FOOD!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY FREAKING CLUE HOW MUCH ORGANIC GRAPES COST!!!!!!!!?????

why did you take off your diaper to pee on the floor!?!? your potty is right there!!!

for the last freaking time you can not take medicine/pills!!! stop asking me! theyre for when youre sick! ITS NOT WORTH SCREAMING OVER!!!

i know your teeth hurt BUT STOP SCREAMING I HAVE A MIGRAINE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH HHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! JUST STOP IT! DONT TOUCH IT!

and for her dad:
STOP FEEDING HER POTATO CHIPS AND TATER TOTS! WHEN SHE SAYS POTATO SHE WANTS A BAKED POTATO OR SOMETHING HEALTHY. STOP FEEDING HER CRAP! DO YOU WANT HER TO GET DIABETES OR HAVE A FRICKING HEART ATTACK!? YOU DONT GIVE CHILDREN COLA! GO BUY HER A FREAKING CAN OF PEAS THATS ALL SHE EVER TALKS ABOUT WHEN I TRY TO FEED HER!

thank you! thats cathartic


----------



## TeaBag

Okay. My turn.

I think that we have discussed this on more than one occasion. If you take something out, please put it away before moving on to the next thing. IF You Take Something Out, Put it AWAY before moving on to the next thing. IF YOU"RE GOING TO TAKE THE TOYS/PLAYSILKS/BLOCKS/LEGOS/KITCHEN Supplies OUT, PUT THEM AWAY! Put your damn toys away. I HATE stepping on wooden kitchen items. It hurts my feet! Okay, you know what...

PUT YOUR







TOYS AWAY OR I AM GOING TO THROW THEM OUT IN THE YARD AND SELL THEM!!!!!!!

And while we're at it....TEETHING TABLETS ARE NOT CANDY! Neither are TUMS. Or my birth control pills. THEY ARE NOT FOR YOU> Stay out of my damn cabinet. It's up super high. It's







: locked for Goodness SAKE> JUST STOP GETTING IN THERE>

I am going to lose it. I hate my life right now. Really. Seriously. I want a fucking break.


----------



## ashleep

Quote:

I am going to lose it. I hate my life right now. Really. Seriously. I want a fucking break.


----------



## mama23k

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mamajamz*
YOU sure LOOK like you're having FUN young man, with your hand in your shorts all the friggin day....with so much practice handling it, you would think you could aim INTO the potty for once instead of beside it so your bathroom could smell like something besides [email protected]!!!

Okay, now I must have posted that under an alias username! Is that me Mamajamz or is it you? :LOL

I'd also like to add: NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY SEE YOUR BUTT IN ORDER TO WIPE IT BY YOURSELF!!!! I CAN BARELY REACH MINE BUT I WIPE IT ALL BY MYSELF!!!! :LOL


----------



## monkeysmommy

No, You May Not Watch A Video When You Wake Up At 3 Am. Do Not Throw A Freakin Tantrum. I Have Never Ever Let You Watch A Video At 3 Am Yet You Have Asked Me This Every Night For The Last Two Weeks. The Answer Is No, No Do You Hear Me? The Answer Will Always Be No, Until You Have Your Own Apartment So Stop Stop Asking Me.

Also, When We Play Pretend, It Is Not Fun For Me When You Tell Me Exactly What To Say And Do And If I Don't Do It To Your Exact Specifications You Throw A Big Fit. When You Play With Someone, The Idea Is For Both People To Have Fun, Not Just You.

And On That Note, It Aint All About You You You All The Time. There Are Other People In This World And They Have Feelings Wants And Needs.

And Stop Ignoring Me!!!!!!!!!


----------



## NinaBruja

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keja*
I DON'T WANT TO READ THE SAME BOOK FOR THE 20TH TIME TODAY! I hate books. I hate books! I HATE BOOKS!

I KNOW you love the baby inside mama's tummy but that doesn't mean you have to JUMP ON IT!

Phew.









YES!

and

WE DONT HAVE ANY MUSHROOMS!!!!!!!


----------



## IncaMama

Go To Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeep!!!!

(hey it worked! he fell asleep! i LOVE this thread! LOL)


----------



## chfriend

I know you're only 15 months old, but will you please stop trashing the house. Really. Just leave the pencils in the cup. You don't need to throw them down to the floor again. Really you don't. Don't stab your sister's foot with a pencil. See how she's screaming in pain? I know you're going to make your fortune in fast-pitch, but could you please stop throwing every stupid hard object you can get your cute little hands on? Oh, and you don't have to bite just because you're sleepy. You could just close those pretty blue eyes and drift to dream land.

Thank you. I feel better.


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## Pookietooth

Why don't you want to play outside! Why do you have to get into everything! Why do you have to stay up until 11 pm or later every night! Why can't you let me read to myself when you're awake!


----------



## **guest**

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!
(scream fades away to blubbering)


----------



## hippycrite

Newbie here... Darling darling daughter, I am exhausted. I want you to do one.freaking.thing without questioning/arguing/bitching/freaking out/melting down or otherwise making every.freakin.thing a huge nightmare. Can we please leave the house, or eat a meal or brush teeth or go to the park (and then leave it) or cook dinner or read books or just anything, one thing? Just one thing? Can we please have one easy thing tomorrow? I'm so tired of arguing with you, or rather, trying NOT to argue with you.

It's time for bed now and I swear if you don't just GO TO BED ALREADY, every last shred of my sanity will be utterly GONE. GO TO BED! NOW! NOW I SAID, NOW GO TO BED!


----------



## cherylannl

I really dont understand why parents yell at their children,can someone explain it to me? I never ever yelled at any of my children, and never ever once even felt the urge to do so..... it never even entered my mind. Totally perplexed! (never ever hit or spanked them either)
????????


----------



## monkeysmommy

Cherylannl, the idea is that we yell at the message boards *instead* of yelling at our children. Nobody here believes in yelling, hitting, or spanking. (Except the trolls, and they don't count!)


----------



## TeaBag

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cherylannl*
and never ever once even felt the urge to do so..... it never even entered my mind.


Are you human?


----------



## seedling

Must you unlace your entire shoe before putting it on when we are already 20 minutes late? Really, MUST YOU!


----------



## Junebug

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cherylannl*
I never ever yelled at any of my children, and never ever once even felt the urge to do so..... it never even entered my mind. Totally perplexed!
????????









Somebody get this woman an award!

While I hope that I never snap & yell at DD- _I_ happen to find this thread pretty cleansing!

Go on...get it out. You know you wanna join in. Its not like they can hear you.


----------



## Treasuremapper

Sigh, Cherylann, I think it has to do with being yelled at ourselves as children, and having the thought in our heads that it is appropriate to do so. With training and commitment, we stop ourselves from the outward expression of the urge to yell, but it helps to vent from time to time to keep from doing it to our kids IRL. Does that make sense?


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

mean they are not human if they do once in awhile. Its something I needed to work on myself. I don't do it anymore for the most part ( still working on that build up thing) but I can do it here to release my frustration. That said..

"could you please not come home from the gfs house and tell me you owe them $$ and then ask for another loan for something else when I am trying to keep $$ from flying out the window???"

"and stop fighting with your sister the minute you get home!!"


----------



## Rigama

STOP PULLING MY HAIR, STOP HURTING ME AND LAUGHING! STOP TELLING ME THAT YOU LIKE TO HURT ME! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE THAT YOU HAVE A MOM WHO DOESN'T HURT YOU???? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW LOVED YOU ARE???? WE DO NOT HURT EACH OTHER IN MY FAMILY, WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT IT AND GET OVER THIS WANTING TO HURT ME THING? IT'S GETTING REALLY FREAKING OLD AND I'M COMING UNGLUED!









Sorry ladies. But I guess it's better here than at him. Sigh. i need to go deal with him now.


----------



## RedWine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cherylannl*
I really dont understand why parents yell at their children,can someone explain it to me? I never ever yelled at any of my children, and never ever once even felt the urge to do so..... it never even entered my mind. Totally perplexed! (never ever hit or spanked them either)
????????

It is human nature to have conflicts with other human beings, even the ones you love most dearly. They want to do one thing, you want to do something else. When you have spent all day doing things for them, and you at last want to do something for yourself -- and they won't let you, for whatever reason, it is natural and human to become frustrated. Yelling (not AT them, just in general) is a way to release emotion. It's healthy to let off steam in an appropriate fashion. Hence this thread.


----------



## Mamajamz

I think it also depends on how old your kids are. Obviously, we don't *feel* like yelling at a newborn (Well, I can remember being very very frustrated with my new baby girl who would NOT stop screaming and had to take some breaks and would actually go in a room and just yell at the walls ) :LOL

This is way better than walls. :LOL

Anger is a human emotion!! How can someone not ever feel angry??

But anyway...the rest of us can get on with yelling our hearts out here.


----------



## Destinye

Repressed anger also causes/contributes to physical illness including cancer. Even allopathic MD's are starting to admit and realize this.


----------



## Llyra

Dear Julia,

Could you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE finish one meal without having something sticky in your hair/nose/ears/pockets?????? I am so TIRED of cleaning up the mess. And do you really have to pick everything you don't want to eat off your plate and fling it on the floor? If you don't want to eat it, then DON'T EAT IT. I cannot go on washing the kitchen floor four times a day for the rest of my life. I can't.

Is it really necessary to latch off without swallowing and dribble milk down my shirt EVERY SINGLE TIME? I'd love to leave the house without stains on my shirt just ONCE.

And don't, I repeat DON'T, pull my glasses off my face. Just don't.

Love,
mama


----------



## ToniaStarr

My 4 year old: STOP asking me questions. Just stop talking for 5 freakin minutes. I love you but you havent taken a [email protected] breath since 6 this morning. I hear your voice echo in my brain after I fall asleep at night. My ears are gonna bleed. STOP talking. Sit still. Just sit still and pay attention. PLEASE get dressed. WHY does it take you soooo long to get dressed every stinkin day???? HOW can it possibly take 20 minutes to put a SOCK on????? Stop asking me. You a;lready got the answer. It was NO. I will not change my m,ind. What makes you thiunk if you ask it 543 times , the 544 time will get you a different answer???
My two year old: Get outta the fridge. Close that cupboard. Close the fridge. No. That is not yours. Put it down. The computer is not a toy. Close the fridge. Put it back. PUT IT BACK. WHY cant you just play with toys like a NORMAL child????? Cant we go two minutes without a tantrum??? Do you have a tantrum quota to fill or something? If you scream no at me one more time i am gonna stick you in aa box and mail you to China.
My 5 month old: You will survive if I put you down for two seconds. I am NOT a walking binky. I am a real live human. I even pee with you in my arms. If I do not get some personal space I am gonna cry. STOP scratching and pinching and smacking me while you nurse. I nurse you 23 hours a day you nasty little gremlin, and all you do is claw at me till it looks like a mad cat attacked me. I adore you but I do NOT adore being spit up on in the middle of the night, being punched in the face at 3 a.m., being kicked until I have little bruises on my thigh. You are lucky you are so darn cute.

*sigh*
I love this thread.
Tonia


----------



## ToniaStarr

Oh, forgot to add;
To my two oldest:
GO TO SLEEP. I have been coming in here every 5 minutes for 2 hours now., I cannot lay with you right now.Daddy is at work and the baby is wide awake. Just go to sleep. Mommy lives fir bedtime. I am home all day everyday wih you. The only break I ever get is this time. If you don't go to sleep soon Mommy is gonna lose her mind and end up in the looney bin. Do you really want to visit your mommy in a looney bin???? Then Go. To. Sleep. NOW.
pleeeeaaaaasseeeeeee.

Tonia


----------



## TeaBag

Please go to sleep. Please, please, please, please. PLEASE go to sleep. 9pm is NOT the time to play racing games. I'm so glad you are feeling better, really, honestly, I am. But if the three of you don't go to bed soon, you are going to find out what it's like for Mommy to really lose it. I mean, LOSE IT> GO TO SLEEP. Go TO SLEEP NOW< NOW< NOW< NOW> NOW> NOW>>>>>


----------



## YankeeMomInVA

Quote:


Originally Posted by *redhookmom*
NOOOOOO MORE [email protected]#$% YOUGURT!!!!

Oh my goodness! What is it with the yogurt?? lol
Ds throws a frickin' fit when he finishes his yogurt.... lol


----------



## veggiemomma

My dearest Vaida -- you are only 4.5 mo. WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU NEED TO FIGHT SLEEP SO MUCH!!!!!YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CRY FOR TWO FREAKING HOURS EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE TIRED INSTEAD OF JUST GOING TO SLEEP!

also -- MY ARMS ARE TIRED AND MY BACK IS HURTING FROM HOLDING YOU AND YOU ARE CRYING AND SHRIEKING IN MY FACE. I DON'T LIKE IT. WHY SHOULD I WANT TO HOLD YOU INSTEAD OF LAY YOU DOWN SOMEWHERE TO SHREECH ON YOUR OWN! (fyi I don't believe in CIO, and would never do it, but it sure can be tempting some nights when she cries for two solid hours.

My dearest Titus -- FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE HOW MANY THINGS CAN YOU PUT IN THE TOILET? HOW MUCH CRAP CAN ONE TINY BOY DRAG ALL OVER THE HOUSE? YOU HAVE A MILLION TOYS, PLEASE PLAY WITH ONE OF THEM FOR A MINUTE. AT LEAST LOOK AT THE TOY. LOOK AT IT OR I WILL PUT IT OUT IN THE TRASH!!!!

sighing, at least they are both asleep for now. it is 11 pm here and we started the *bedtime routine* at 9. It only took 2 freaking hours! AACCKKK!

Feeling much better now...going off to knit.


----------



## OakBerry

To my 3 y/o ds:

STOP the fake crying. It really won't get you what you want, honest. And the whining, it's really got to stop.

When we are in the car, it's ok that you talk incessantly, but do NOT badger me when I am at an intersection or in a stressful traffic situation. Mommy needs to concentrate!

And can we just go somewhere or do something once without a big battle or tantrum? YES, you need to wash your hands before you eat. YES, we need to get in the car to go somewhere occasionally, YES, you have to brush your teeth EVERY night. AND, YES, UNTIL YOU DECIDE TO USE THE POTTY, I MUST CHANGE YOUR SOAKING WET DIAPER!!!!!

Whew! I feel much better. :LOL


----------



## sylvi76

This has to be the most hysterical thread. I am cracking up laughing, because it's so real and down to earth, and although at any given moment I feel exactly the same, reading it like this in black and white makes me laugh and laugh!


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

in the manchild phase being newly 18.

However it would behoove you to have or even pretend to have some respect for the people who are paying your bills while you finish school so you can go to college or get a job.
The stunt you pulled yesterday is more of the reasons ( which you asked and argued with) of why no one wants to hire your a$$ right now. ATTITUDE.

Since you are having to rely on us a bit longer than planned show some decent behaviour and courtesy even if you have to fake it. I don't care at this point.

Stop driving me nuts complaining that we don't treat you like an adult and then two sentences later complain that you shouldn't have to be an adult because you are not grown and mature yet. It is making my head SPIN!!!!


----------



## shershine

To my 6-year-old: NO! You may NOT have a sprite! No matter how many times you ask, the answer will be no! WE DO NOT BUY DRINKS WHEN WE GO OUT, HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED?? And if we did buy drinks, they would NOT be soda. Yes, I know I let you have a sprite last Thanksgiving, and on your birthday. SO?!?!?!?!? And yes, I KNOW that a couple of times I have bought myself a coke at the drive-thru, I won't do that anymore, I SWEAR!! I just needed the caffeine!! IT WILL BE JUST WATER FROM NOW ON!!!

To my 18-month-old: You are so cute sweetie. It is really cool and amazing that you've started talking! BUT DO YOU HAVE TO STAY UP HALF THE NIGHT PRACTICING!! WE CAN'T SLEEP!!! FOR THE PAST 3 NIGHTS I HAVE SPENT 3 HOURS LAYING IN BED WITH YOU LISTENING TO YOU SING AND GAB!! Why won't you SLEEP? You are keeping your sister up too!


----------



## Storm Bride

To 2.5-year-old dd: Get off your baby brother!! How many effing times do I have to tell you - you canNOT climb on him - you canNOT pull him off my lap while he's eating - you canNOT bite his head - you canNOT feed him raisins or grapes or crackers or apricots or almonds or ANYTHING ELSE. He eats BREASTMILK - that's IT - just breastmilk. LEAVE HIM ALONE and let him freaking eat!!! Don't touch him when he's eating and don't dump him out of the carseat when he's fallen asleep there! He does NOT want to be turned upside down, even if you do up his freaking harness!!! STOP STOP STOP!!! He's just a baby!!! Oh - and get off the f***ing cat!!! He's not a horse - NO - you can't ride him - he's not a horse...and that's a tail, not a handle - don't pull him down the hallway! STOP STOP STOP!!!!

To 2.5-month-old ds2: Stop kicking me! If you want to eat, eat, but don't kick me!! And, could you stop with the freaking out thing? I just want to brush my d***ned teeth before bed! Could you stop screaming at daddy - I'll be two minutes - that's all!!! I just fed you - why can't you wait two freaking minutes, so I can brush my teeth!?!?

*sigh*
That felt good.


----------



## Storm Bride

Might I add...Darling daughter - that is my HAIR, it is NOT a handle. DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!!! OUCH!!!!


----------



## CurlyTop

STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS WHILE I'M BUSY FIGURING OUT YOUR SISTER'S FEAR OF THE TOILET, FOR CHRISTMAS SAKE! GO FIND YOUR OWN SLIPPER! (to other girl): WHAT THE F*** IS THE BIG F***ING PROBLEM WITH USING THE TOILET?! WE HAVE BEEN STUCK AT HOME FOR DAYS BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST SIT THERE AND GO!!!! THIS SUCKS!!!!! AND NO I WON'T JUST GIVE YOU A STUPID DA** DIAPER SO YOU CAN PLAY AND NOT HAVE TO BOTHER TO GO TO THE TOILET! AND I'M STARTING NOT TO BELIEVE YOU THAT YOU'RE SCARED AND INSTEAD I AM STARTING TO THINK YOU'D LIKE ME TO GO INSANE !!! I AM SO SO SO SO SICK OF DEALING WITH EVERY LITTLE THING AS IF IT WERE ACTUALLY DANGEROUS!! AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

thanks, that's best left unsaid, don't'cha think?


----------



## all4god

I would have loved to let off some steam







and was all prepared to do so but by the time i got to the bottom of this thread i was tearing up with laughter







and i am just grateful that they're both asleep so i could actually read it all!
THANK YOU!!!


----------



## mykdsmomy

This is seriously SOOOOOO VALIDATING for me!! Hilarious! Ok, here's mine

me to the kids in the car

STOP ARGUING!!! KEEP YOUR FREAKING HANDS TO YOURSELF AND STOP ANNOYING EACH OTHER....STOP HUMMING AND PUTTING YOUR FINGERS TWO INCHES FROM YOUR SISTER'S FACE...YES I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING HER BUT YOU ARE ANNOYING HER (to the 5, 6, and 10 year old)
PLEASE STOP DUMPING YOUR BAG OF CEREAL ON THE FLOOR OF THE CAR WHILE I'M DRIVING!!! I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY 20 MONTHS BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY THIS CAR LOOKS LIKE A LAND FILL!!!
WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUUUUUUT UPPPPPP! WHY CANT YOU JUST BE FREAKING KIND TO EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF WHINING, YELLING, AND ARGUING!!!
NO, YOU CANT BUCKLE YOURSELF INTO YOUR CARSEAT...YOU SCREAM AND THROW A TANTRUM EVERY TIME I PUT YOU IN YOUR CARSEAT AND TODAY I DONT FEEL LIKE WAITING TIL YOU ATTEMPT TO BUCKLE YOURSELF FOR 5 MINTUES WHEN WE BOTH KNOW YOU FAIL EVERY TIME!! MOMMY HAS TO DO IT!

and the grand finale STOP STOMPING WHEN YOU'RE MAD...YOU WILL WAKE UP THE BABY!!!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

For C*****'s sakes, just let me put the g**d***** diaper on you!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!







:

~Nay

ps.

Is cussing allowed? I'll assume not so I'll abbreviate. If that's not okay, let me know and I'll come back and use the censored icon. Okay, here goes.


----------



## MyLittleWonders

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!

Man, I've been needing to yell that a few times today.

CAN'T I JUST GO PEE WITHOUT INTERRUPTION? I JUST WANT TO GO PEE!!! CAN'T I ALSO MAYBE COMB MY HAIR WITHOUT YOU YELLING AT ME ABOUT WATCHING SOMETHING OR ANOTHER? I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND SOMETIMES MOMMY JUST NEEDS A LITTLE MOMMY TIME!!! PLEASE, JUST GO PLAY FOR A COUPLE MINUTES; I'LL BE THERE IN A SECOND. I'LL BE THERE IN A SECOND. THE MORE YOU INTERUPT ME THE LONGER I'M GOING TO TAKE.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!


----------



## SRHS

THOSE ARE NOT DIRTY CLOTHES, i JUST WASHED THOSE CLOTHES LAST NIGHT, THE ONLY THING THAT IS DIRTY IS WHAT WAS ON YOUR GRUBBY BODY TODAY!!!! EVERYTHING ELSE IS CLEAN, PUT IT AWAY!!!!! .....AND DO YOU SMART BACK TO ME ABOUT WEARING IT THIS WEEKEND, DID THIS WEEKEND COME BEFORE OR AFTER I DID THE gd LAUNDRY LAST NIGHT?????? THEN JUST PUT IT AWAY!!!!

to the darling 4 y/o obsessed with his gameboy YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE ALLWED TO PLAY GAMEBOY, IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, i SWEAR I'LL FLUSH THE GD THING DOWN THE GD TOILET!!!!!

though had I not read this whole thread before getting here I could have gone on and on and on and today was a good day. However, we MUST keep this thread (and therefore my sanity) going....I'm sure I"ll be back bright and early tomorrow....)

Hugs to all!!! Sus


----------



## LuvMyBabos

aaaaahhhhh, I feel SO much better. Just when you think your household is the most insane on the planet, you see something like this and realize everything's ok. I think this is the best thread I've read.


----------



## NinaBruja

i know your teeth hurt BUT STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR!!!!!!

stop screaming at me! i know you want conan obrien but hes not on the tv yet! i cant make dancing mushrooms come on tv! iron chef isnt on! i cant make boohbah on. IM NOT TIVO!!! *seriously thinking of going tv-free*

the vacuum isnt going to hurt you! i know its loud but it eats dirt. i dont want to carry you everytime i vacuum! youre heavy, im exhausted! i just want to vacuum the floor without you screaming!!!(i miss our old vacuum, she used to hug it and dance with it. thats what happens when you send a typical guy to get a vacuum. you get a vacuum centered around a jet engine)

IM COOKING IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IM COOKING IT!!!!

to her grandma:

STOP PUTTING HER IN DIAPERS YOURE CONFUSING THE HELL OUT OF HER!!!

STOP YELLING AT HER!!!

^&%^&%*&^!!!! CANT YOU JUST LISTEN FOR ONCE WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE AND CHILDISH!?!?!

to her dad:
STOP PLAYING THAT DAMN GAME AND EITHER WATCH YOUR DAUGHTER OR CLEAN SOMETHING! IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP YOUR CRAP! STOP SHOVING YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES INTO THE COUCH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

whew.....ive had a really rough day


----------



## moppity

baby girl, i love you to death but is just one day nap without me holding you too much to ask for?

notice the one handed typing?


----------



## Destinye

I have to say this thread is hysterical when your DC is asleep and you feel all calm and relaxed and not in the midst of it! I mean when DD does these things I am like ARGGGGGHHHHHHH when its someone else it kind of puts it in perspective and helps you to laugh at it (which is very releasing) so thanks!!

PS I liked the comment about the car looking like a landfill from the cereal! I think my car seat is glued in by now with chewed-up cereal glue.


----------



## Storm Bride

Stop tipping your head forward when I'm rinsing your hair. Do you WANT soap in your eyes?? Why do you do that? You know the soap stings - just tip your d***ed head back!!! No - not forward - BACK. Tip it BACK!!!

.....
Well - what did you think was going to happen - YES - you got soap in your eyes!!!

AAARRRGGHHH!!!!


----------



## paquerette

Stop Pinching My Boob! Raaaaaaaar!


----------



## Storm Bride

I'm hogging this thread, I think....

Yes - you can come in if you want, but I have to go _now_ - let me close the door. Fine - outside then - okay - inside WHATEVER!!! I don't care if you're in or out, but I have to go NOW. No - leave the toilet paper alone - don't pull it off. No - it doesn't go in the toilet unless it's used - stop that!! You want on my lap? NOW?? This isn't the best time, you know...fine, okay - sit on my lap until I'm done. You have to get down - NOW - get down....I'm done! GET DOWN. Thank you - NO - no more toilet paper...ARRRGGGH

Okay - I'm done we can get out now. NO - no more toilet paper!!!!

Boy - it's too bad that when we don't have kids, we really don't _appreciate_ the little luxuries like going to the bathroom by ourselves...


----------



## aceboo

Stop sitting on your sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's too small for you to give her a massage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## passionfaerie

My ear hurts LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES PLEASE!!!!


----------



## meowmix

to my 2 yr old:
STOP ASKING ME THE *EXACT* SAME QUESTION YOUR BROTHER ASKED AND I ANSWERED! WHEN YOU ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN AND I SAY I JUST ANSWERED IT, BE HAPPY WITH THAT ANSWER! I DON'T LIKE ANSWERING THE SAME QUESTION TWICE! STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THINGS OUTSIDE THE CAR WHILE I AM TRYING TO DRIVE! DON'T...PUT.. SO...MUCH...FOOD...IN..YOUR-- ARGH! DON'T SPIT IT ALL OUT IN YOUR HAND AND PUT IT ON MY PLATE!

to my 4 yr old:
TREVOR, I LOVE HEARING YOUR STORIES, BUT DO THEY HAVE TO BE SOOOO LONG? DOES EVERYTHING YOU WEAR HAVE TO HAVE ORANGE IN IT? YOUR ORANGE SHIRT IS DIRTY, PLEASE JUST WEAR A BLUE ONE? *WHY ARE YOU SO OBBSESSED WITH THE COLOUR ORANGE!!!!???* WHEN YOU HAVE TO PEE AT NIGHT CAN YOU JUST WAKE UP AND GO? DO YOU HAVE TO CRY AND SQUIRM IN BED UNTIL I _MAKE_ YOU GET UP, USHER YOU TO THE RESTROOM, PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN AND DEMAND YOU HOLD YOUR OWN SELF TO PEE?

to my 8 month old:
PLEASE, YOU SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR A LONG TIME. PLEASE JUST START SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT AGAIN! I AM TIRED OF WAKING TO NURSE! STOP TRYING TO CRAWL AWAY WHEN I AM CHANGING YOUR DIAPER! STOP WAKING UP AT NIGHT RIGHT AS I AM ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP!

to the 4 and 2 yr olds:
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS NEED TO KNOW THE INGREDIENTS OF EVERYTHING SET IN FRONT OF YOU? WHY MUST I REPEAT IT INDIVIDUALLY FOR EACH OF YOU? WHYARE YOU ASKING WHEN YOU HELPED MAKE IT!? CAN YOU PLEASE JUST SHARE THE TOYS FOR ONCE! ARGHHHHH!


----------



## kofduke

To my sweet unborn babe:

I have not even met you and I love you. I cannot wait to snuggle you and nurse you and introduce you to our whole family. But please, can you move your head out of my ribs, and down to where it's supposed to be? It hurts like [email protected]#$ where it is, and it's making mommy scared of you being breech. Stay safe in there and grow strong.


----------



## Llyra

No, I bloody well will NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT read Goodnight Moon for the 29 millionth time. NO. NO NO NO NO NO
NO

NO

NO

NO

Put the d*** book back on the d*** shelf and LEAVE ITTHERE. I HATE that book. I am so TIRED of that book. Just go play or something. Leave me ALONE for 5 minutes.

****************************************
Wow, this is so liberating.


----------



## TeaBag

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I'm hogging this thread, I think....

Yes - you can come in if you want, but I have to go _now_ - let me close the door. Fine - outside then - okay - inside WHATEVER!!! I don't care if you're in or out, but I have to go NOW. No - leave the toilet paper alone - don't pull it off. No - it doesn't go in the toilet unless it's used - stop that!! You want on my lap? NOW?? This isn't the best time, you know...fine, okay - sit on my lap until I'm done. You have to get down - NOW - get down....I'm done! GET DOWN. Thank you - NO - no more toilet paper...ARRRGGGH

Okay - I'm done we can get out now. NO - no more toilet paper!!!!

Boy - it's too bad that when we don't have kids, we really don't _appreciate_ the little luxuries like going to the bathroom by ourselves...


Thank you very much for you offer to help, but Mommy really *can* wipe herself. Yes, she can. Yes. I really can wipe my own bottom. Yes, I can. No you Cannot help me. I can do it myself. Get out of the bathroom before I wipe YOU!!!


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *APMom98*
Thank you very much for you offer to help, but Mommy really *can* wipe herself. Yes, she can. Yes. I really can wipe my own bottom. Yes, I can. No you Cannot help me. I can do it myself. Get out of the bathroom before I wipe YOU!!!

















:







:







:


----------



## maylea_moon

: STOP BITING MY DAMN LEG!!!! THAT HURTS MAMA! MAMA DOESN'T HURT YOU!!!!!

this is what i say in reality:

"nono sweetheart, gentle, gentle." and he LAUGHS. argh.


----------



## TinkerBelle

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maylea_moon*







: STOP BITING MY DAMN LEG!!!! THAT HURTS MAMA! MAMA DOESN'T HURT YOU!!!!!

this is what i say in reality:

"nono sweetheart, gentle, gentle." and he LAUGHS. argh.


I am only asking so please, do not think I intend to offend you. If the "no no sweetheart" thing makes him laugh, why would it be so terrible to firmly but gently look at him and say, "No (name), that hurts. No biting."?


----------



## Dr.Worm

I forgot about this....STOP SPITTING! THAT'S GROSS! WHY MUST YOU SPIT EVERYWHERE? IT IS DISGUSTING! WHY ARE YOU SLOBBERING ON MY ARM WHYYYY? I AM COVERED IN SLOBBER ARE YOU A GIRL OR A DOG PLEASE LET ME TYPE I AM TRYING TO TYPE THIS SO I DON'T YELL AT YOU SO PLEASE LET ME TYPE THIS SO I DON'T YELL AT YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH







:


----------



## sweetpea333

dont hit,kick punch or slap your little sister!!! every body gooooo to bed!!!!
stop dumping juice on the floor!!


----------



## Tonia80

STAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM> STAY OUTSTAYOUTSTAYOUT!!!!!!! If one more mess is made in there mommy is gonna cry. Stop dumping out my organic shampoo just cuz it smells nice. STOP unravlling all of the freaking floss!!! I own 3 brushes...WHY WHY WHY can I not find any of them????? Do not eat all of your brothers teething tablets!!! I know they are homeopathic and therfore safe to eat so freakin many of them but he NEEDS those. I NEED those!!!! They save my sanity and my nipples! STAY OUT!!!!!
And NO you may NOT come in heer just cuz I AM IN HERE!!!!!! Leave me alone for the love of mayonaise and let me shower in peace. Leave me alone to pee. ALL BY MYSELF FOR TWO FREAKING SECONDS!!!!


----------



## marsupial*mama

:rofl

Ooh, I soooo relate to all of these!!


----------



## alsoSarah

Dr. Worm, please tell me that the quote in your sig is a joke.....

Please?

alsoSarah


----------



## Canadianmommax3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bladestar5*
I third the Calliou thing...why is he bald, anyhow???


did you know she died? The actress that played the voice of Caillou? Just a little tidbit of info.


----------



## Prajnamom

Dining room tables are not for standing on!!!!
Don't swing the light fixture back and forth!!!
Pleeeease eat something!!!!!








:


----------



## NinaBruja

i was missing this thread...

mine is:
IM NOT F$#^%#ING GOING ANYWHERE!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
and
JUST GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEP ALREADY!!!!!!
and
EAT SOME REAL FOOD OR SHUT UP!!!

well at least i can get comfort in the idea that im at least not yelling this at them.


----------



## mommy2abigail

To my dh: WE ARE YOUR FAMILY NOW!!! STOP BEING SUCH A DAMN MAMA'S BOY. CUT THE CORD ALREADY!!!! OR MAYBE GO MOVE BACK IN WITH YOUR F***ING PARENTS AND LEAVE ME AND DD THE HELL ALONE. LOVE ME. LOVE ME. AT LEAST ACT LIKE YOU WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH US. EVEN IF YOU DONT FOR GODS SAKE JUST PRETEND ONCE AND A WHILE. YOUR MOTHER IS CONTROLLING, MANIPULATIVE, DEPENDENT. CANT YOU SEE THAT???? ITS CLEAR AS DAY TO EVERY OTHER PERSON AROUND YOU. SHE MAKES SH*T UP FOR YOU TO COME OVER AND HELP HER OUT. SHE IS A HYPOCHONDRIAC. SHE IS FAKING EVERYTHING. LEAVE AND CLEAVE.
To my dd: GO TO SLEEP. STAY ASLEEP. PLEASE. PLEASE. I AM SO TIRED. I CANT BE A GOOD MOMMY IF YOU DONT SLEEP. JUST SLEEP. HOW HARD IS IT TO SLEEP??? REALX, CLOSE YOUR EYES. SLEEP. PLEASE.


----------



## lilylove

To my Ds: GO TO SLEEEEPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE. i AM BEGGING YOU!!!!

To my dog: YOU SON OF A ******, IF IT IS BLACK AND WHITE LEAVE IT THE FREAK ALONE

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH


----------



## wonderwahine

to my FIL: STOP BEING AN INSENSITIVE A**HOLE AND QUIT WAKING UP MY ALREADY FUSSY, TIRED TEETHING SON!!!!

and to my cat: STOP F*****G MEOWING FOR NO GOOD REASON OTHER THAN YOUR DAD BEING AT WORK, YOUR WAKING UP YOUR BROTHER TOO!


----------



## Mama8

To dd: GOSH DARN IT QUIT HACKING AND SPITTING WHILE I AM DRIVING YOU TO WORK! IT IS GROSSING ME OUT! NO I DO NOT WANT A KISS AS YOU GET OUT OF THE CAR! ARRRGGGGG!

To dd 4 yrs old: QUIT ASKING ME WHO IS GOING TO GET YOU SOMETHING OR DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. YOU KNOW I AM THE ONLY ADULT HERE. YOU KNOW I WILL GET YOU IT. THE BABY IS NURSING RIGHT NOW I CAN'T GET YOU IT RIGHT NOW. SHH-SHH THE BABY IS FALLING ASLEEP! BE QUIET! I CAN GET YOU IT SOONER IF YOU LET THE BABY FALL ASLEEP! DANG IT! NOW YOU HAVE WOKEN THE BABY!

To every dang person in my house dh included: PLEASE JUST GIVE ME TIME FOR MYSELF! JUST A MOMENT OR TWO WITHOUT SOMEONE NEEDING SOMETHING! DO NOT DESTROY THE HOUSE WHILE I GO TO THE BATHROOM! QUIT COMING INTO THE BATHROOM! I WILL BE RIGHT OUT! YES I AM PEEING GET OUT! QUIT FIGHTING I WILL BE OUT IN A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE I AM JUST GOING TO THE BATHROOM! as 4 different little ones and one teenager can't get it I just want to use the bathroom in peace!

To dd 2 yr old: DO NOT POO IN THE TUB! DO NOT POO IN THE BUCKET! THE TOILET IS FOR POOING! ONLY THE TOILET! GROSS! ARRGGG! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD UTTER THOSE WORDS ME WHOLE LIFE! UGGGGG!

To dd 2 1/2 yr old: WHAT?! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN YOU ARE MELTING DOWN! PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT! MAKE UP YOUR MIND ON WHAT YOU WANT! PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!

To dd 2 1/2 yrs old: OH COME ON! DO NOT POUR ALL THE ORGANIC LOTION OUT ON THE CARPETED STAIRS AND KITCHEN FLOOR SO YOUR 15 YR OLD SISTER FALLS IN IT! LOTION DOES NOT COME OUT OF THE CARPET! OH NOW YOUR RUNNING UPSTAIRS CRYING BECAUSE I TOLD YOU LOTION IS FOR HANDS NOT THE FLOOR. I DON'T SEE YOU CLEANING IT UP! I SHOULD BE THE ONE RUNNING AWAY!

To dd 15 yrs old: QUITE TALKING TO ME LIKE I AM A FREAKING IDIOT! PRETEND TO RESPECT ME! CAN'T YOU FIGURE OUT THAT YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT A LOT EASIER IF YOU TALK TO ME WITH A TINY BIT OF RESPECT? QUIT ROLLING YOUR EYES! QUIT GIVING ME THE MOM IS A FOOL LOOK! STOP WITH THE SNIDE COMMENTS! ARRRGGG GROW UP!

To dd 20 yrs old: QUIT SHUTTING US OUT! KEEP IN CONTACT WITH YOUR FAMILY! I KNOW BEING A SINGLE ADULT IS EXCITING BUT WE CARE ABOUT YOU AND WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! SLOW DOWN CALL YOUR MOTHER!

To dd 17 yrs old: I KNOW YOU ARE IN COLLEGE AND OUT ON YOUR OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME BUT EAT BETTER! HOW CAN YOU EXPECT YOUR BODY TO HEAL IF YOU DON'T REST AND EAT WELL? GIVE YOUR BODY A CHANCE TO HEAL! I KNOW THAT TOP RAMEN IS EASY AND CHEAP BUT IT IS ABOUT AS GOOD AS EATING CARDBOARD! WE TAUGHT YOU HOW TO EAT HEALTHY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE EAT BETTER AND GET MORE REST. YOU ARE WORRYING ME!

whew! Feel a little better now..............


----------



## ^guest^

For my dog: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP PISSING AND SH*TTING ON THE FLOOR! You're a year old! That's old enough to know better!

And DD: FOR THE LAST TIME DON'T BANG ON MY CD DRIVE! WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A SPAZ?! WHAT THE CRAP!

And DH:




























I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL TEAR YOUR FREAKING EYEBALLS OUT WITH MY BARE HANDS WHILE PUNCHING YOU IN PLACES THAT OUGHT NOT BE PUNCHED.


----------



## BlueStateMama

Earlier today I read this thread and got a chuckle out of it (reading the thoughts that often run through my own head) - but now I seriously have to vent before I blow a gentle discipline gasket....

"OH.....MY....GOD. You did NOT just grab handfuls of *poop* from your diaper and *smear it on the FREAKING WALL*!!!! I cannot BELIEVE that you are covered head to TOE in POOP!!!! Where the H*LL do I even *START* to clean this??? It's everywhere!! On the floor, your bed, in your EARS!!! *WHY???? WHY???? WHY!?!?!?!?!* (please please don't let this be the first sign I'm raising a serial killer







)


----------



## nextcommercial

Dear day care child. Do NOT raise your cup above your head and shake it, so I can see that it is empty. You are five flippin years old! If you want something ASK for it.

Same daycare child... STOP staring at me. I am not going to suddenly break into a song and dance. Go play....You're freaking me out.


----------



## wonderwahine

i love this thread, its nice to vent our anger and say things we would never say to the people, or do.

anyways......to dh : WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THE LABEL SOMETIMES, IT WAS MENT FOR OUR KID, NOT AN ADULT!! WE ARE RAISING HIM SUGAR FREE, I DONT WANT VIT C WITH THE FIRST INGREDIANT IN THE LIST BEING SUCROSE!


----------



## BurgundyElephant

To my 2 yr old... YOU WILL HOLD MY HAND IN THE PARKING LOT!!! THESE PEOPLE DO NOT SEE YOU AND ARE DRIVING TOO FAST!!! STOP TRYING TO RUN AWAY!!!

To my 5 yr old... I KNOW YOU ARE TIRED. BUT THERE IS NO HUMANLY POSSIBLE WAY I CAN CARRY YOU, YOUR SISTER, YOUR BROTHER, THE SAND TOYS AND THE BAG WITH ALL THE BEACH STUFF IN IT. I WOULD TRY BUT I THINK MY ARMS WOULD RIP OUT OF MY SOCKETS. YES, YOU HAVE TO WALK TO THE CAR!!! STOP ASKING FOR BOILED EGGS!!!

To the baby - oh my, you are still so cute and can do no wrong.

To my husband - WHY ON EARTH DID YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO PLAY WARCRAFT??? I AM NOW A WOW WIDOW. I WAS NOT JOKING WHEN I STATED I AM SEEING THE BEGINNING OF THE END OF OUR MARRIAGE.


----------



## pinkmilk

Don't poop on my finger!


----------



## onlyzombiecat

WHY DON'T YOU EVER SLEEP AT NIGHT... WHY CAN'T I LET YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT WITHOUT YOU MAKING A MESS OR DESTROYING SOMETHING... TURN THE DAMN SOUND ON THAT TV DOWN... AND NO MORE MONKEY NOISES!!!!!!!!

I actually do feel better after that.


----------



## JessC

this is the greatest thread....


----------



## wonderwahine

to my sick ds: WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW YOUR SICK! IF YOU KEEP CRYING I WILL LOSE MY MIND, I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO HELP YOU!!!


----------



## MissRubyandKen

This thread is great























to the cat- I am so sick of cleaning up barf off the carpet, can't ya at least aim for the tile?

to dd(6)- stop asking me to reheat your food three times a freakin meal, eat it while its warm already, I HATE USING THE MICROWAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

to dp- if it wasn't for you I would have done chucked that d*** radiation box out the window already

to ds(4(- STOP being such a scientist *ALL* the time, just every once in a while can't you just take something I say as true already, touching posion ivy WILL result in bumps, touching a hot pan WILL result in a burn, laughing a finger width from the cat's face WILL result in a scratch(SHEA DOES NOT LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!), AND WHAT"S UP WITH CONDUCTING EXPERIMENTS WHILE PEEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!!!!!!!AND WHY MUST I BE PRESENT! Go by yourself and point it towards the pot and get it over already!

to 2 yr old dn I care for some days- unused toliet paper, binky, hand towels, your hands, feet, and my socks??????????? NONE of those things go in the toilet!!!! It's gross! The sink's right beside the toilet, remember, water play away, JUST STAY OUT OF THE TOILET


----------



## MissRubyandKen

And oh yeah, dear scientist son, if you put scissors on your skin like that they WILL cut you, did you have to test my 'theory' on this one with each different pair of scissors in the house?????? Three times you've cut yourself experimenting with scissors, do you believe me now? If I went out and bought another pair of scissors would you have to test to see if they could cut you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said they would gosh darn it and they did!!SEE I TOLD YOU SO









Ok that does feel amazingly good to type!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Moochie Mamma

OMG I am laughing so hard I just spit crackers at the computer!

I'll post my rants later cause the baby just went to sleep and I actually have time to take a nap now...


----------



## onlyzombiecat

to dh- WTF! WHAT POSSESED YOU TO PUT YOUR SUITCASE ON THE FLOOR IN THE DARK LAUNDRY AREA SO I WOULD TRIP CARRYING A FULL BASKET OF CLOTHES AND HURT MY FOOT! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

to dd- FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, NO YOU CAN NOT PLAY WITH THE NEWBORN KITTENS! THEIR EYES AREN'T EVEN OPEN YET!!! WHEN I ASK A QUESTION ANSWER ME WITH *WORDS* INSTEAD OF BABY TALK, GRUNTS, OR MONKEY NOISES. YOU ARE 6 YEARS OLD DAMN IT AND KNOW HOW TO TALK!


----------



## LynnS6

OK, I've only read half of it, but I love it:

To ds: QUIT ASKING ME "WHY?" FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERY THING I SAY. "IT'S TIME TO LEAVE, PLEASE PUT YOUR SHOES ON" "WHY?" *BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO LEAVE YOU IDIOT CHILD!!! I JUST TOLD YOU THAT!!!!* GO PUT YOUR SHOES ON NOW!!!! YOU ARE 5 YEARS OLD AND ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DONE WITH THIS STAGE.

To dd: STOP WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THREE TIMES TO NURSE. I HAVE NURSED YOU WHENEVER YOU WANT FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS AND I AM SOOOOOO DONE WITH NURSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. IN FACT, I BELIEVE I'M DONE NURSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY TOO! AND IN THE EVENINGS, AND THE MORNINGS.

AND OH, NO DD, DON'T YOU START THE WHY THING TOO! YOU'RE ONLY 2, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG FOR ASKING WHY.

I WILL SERIOUISLY GO CRAZY IF EVERY TIME I SAY ANYTHING TO EITHER OF MY CHILDREN THEY RESPOND "WHY?"

ahhhhh.

Thanks.


----------



## mollyeilis

Last night it was....omg DS, it is the middle of the night, do NOT wake up, no don't do it! You fell asleep later than usual and we're sorry for that, and DH and I stayed up later than normal and we're sorry for that, but WHY does that give you the urge and the apparent right to stay up from 2 to 8am? Why why why?

(To DH, on the other hand, THANK YOU for getting up and staying up with DS. I tend to hallucinate when exhausted, and hallucinating while trying to nurse DS down is scary.)

Also to DS...do NOT stick your finger up your butt! And do NOT come over with your nose all screwed up, saying "UCKY" while sticking THAT FINGER in my face! Augh! And then, do NOT start playing with your penis, practicing retraction, and putting that same finger into your foreskin! I don't want you to have to have antibiotics, please STOP doing that!!!

To DH: Remember when I said I don't want an engagement ring several times, and I showed you my grandmother's ring that I wanted to use as an e-ring? Remember? And remember how for some reason you didn't think I was telling the truth and you made a huge production out of buying me a ring and the first ring sucked and we returned it and the salespeople made me cry, and then the second ring, while it was being made, almost cost us our relationship? Remember how you should have learned that *if I say I don't want something, I don't want something!!!!*? I know that in your mother's culture you have to ask and refuse something like three times, even if you desperately want it, but that's NOT MY CULTURE and I don't play that game!!!!

So, today, when you started on your "I'm going to get you an expensive digital camera" thing again, and I said "but I would much rather get back into film than get a new digital camera", WHY DID YOU DOUBT ME?????!!!!!!! I LOVE film! I adore film! I'm telling you the TRUTH!!! There was NO need for that to start a day-long argument while at the tot-lot....







:

Back later for more venting- Boy needs milk.


----------



## MillingNome

Dear God, Would You Please Stop Talking Just For Five Minutes. My Head Is About To Unscrew.

And Quit Teasing Each.

And Really, Ya Think You Could Find The Floor In Your Room!?!?


----------



## mollyeilis

Remembered another one....

DS, when I am using all my words and trying hard to explain myself and why I do certain things, like take you away from the moving boxes with the delicate glass, or keep you from climbing on the table to swat the hanging light (I don't mind table climbing on its own), and various assorted other things....please do NOT put your hands up in a "what? I don't know what you're saying" sort of way, please do NOT start copying me by basically saying "blah blah blah blah", and then? When I've explained everything? Please do NOT NOT NOT end the "blah blah blahs" with "WHY?"

Augh!

Child-o-mine you are just soooo lucky you have ME as a parent rather than many, many other parents, b/c that behaviour is incredibly infuriating! I could see it causing an anger spike, and with another person parenting you, that would not be fun for you!!!


----------



## kindacrunchy

Just Stop When I Say Stop. Just Do It When I Ask. I Shouldn't Have To Ask 5 Times , You Should Do It The First Time. Eat Food When It's In Front Of You, Not When You Are Getting Ready For Bed. Just Go To Sleep. Stop Screwing Around.answer My Questions When I Ask. Just Listen And Comprhehend What I Am Saying. Give Me Space. Just Have Quite Time To Yourself, Ineed The Break You Need The Break, We Would All Be Much Happier If Your Body Could Just Stop And Take A Break. Etc, Etc, Etc.


----------



## kindacrunchy

Here is another: I AM SO TIRED OF HELPING OTHERS GO TO SLEEP. I REALLY WANT TO SLEEP, YOU REALLY NEED TO SLEEP. SLEEP IS WONDERFUL, WHY DO YOU FIGHT IT. I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!


----------



## *clementine*

Is there a thread for yelling at your husband? (Mine seems to think he can read his new book all day while I run around the house unable to even use the bathroom, let alone take the whole day off.)
I should start THAT thread......


----------



## the_queen

This is a great thread. Here's my rant for the day:

Don't touch your brother. Don't jump on top of him. I know you love him, but while your hands and face are covered in tomato sauce, PLEASE DON'T KISS HIM. PLEASE GET OFF HIM. WHEN HE'S CRYING THAT MEANS HE DOESN'T LIKE IT, PLEASE GET OFF HIM. OF COURSE I'M COMFORTING HIM - SOME BIG KID JUST JUMPED ON TOP OF HIM!! NO THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU although on a day like today I could be tempted....

ok i feel MUCH better now.


----------



## MaryLang

Stop Climbing On The Table! Stop Climbing On The Table! Get Down! Don't Climb On The Fish Tank! Stop That Now! You Don't Hit Your Mommy! I Said Get Off The Table! Don't Take That From Him! Please Share, Get Him Another Toy! Be Gentle With The Baby! Stop Touching The Babys Face! She Doesn't Like That! Just Leave Her Alone For Five Seconds!


----------



## sunnmama

Oh, what a great thread revival!!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnmama*
From bedtime, tonight (plus lots of PMS):

For the love of all that is good, JUST PICK A POSITION AND LAY STILL!!!!!! STOP ROLLING AROUND, KICKING OFF THE COVERS, AND THEN ASKING FOR THEN ASKING FOR THE COVERS AGAIN!!!! STOP FLIPPING YOUR HAIR IN MY FACE!!!!!! AND WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP FLOPPING YOUR HEAD ONTO THE PILLOW BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO--OUCH!!!!!!--yep....nail me right on the bridge of my nose with your huge, hard head









My post from 2.5 years ago, when dd was 3. Haven't had this problem in a long while (she goes to bed alone now)......I'm sitting here trying to miss this developmental stage......but I gotta tell you.....I really don't! LOL!


----------



## Dmitrizmom

Please, please, eat your dinner. Daddy made something delicious for us to eat. No you can't watch the TV. when you are done with dinner it is time for bed. Yes, I know that you wanted to take a bike ride. No, we are not going. E, stop throwing your food.

Stop jumping on the $%$#[email protected]%$!#^$# bed. Don't put the blanket over my face. Please don't touch my face with your sticky gooey need to be washed hands. No twiddling the nipple while you are nursing.

Please pick up the toys on the floor. I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T GET THEM OUT!!! I'm asking YOU to put them away!

Why the %$#!^!^@&%&$%@254 don't you listen?!?! If you had listened the first time, I wouldn't be getting loud now. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

RUnning away now.

Thanks for the venting space. Today was not a good mommy day.







:


----------



## ShabbyChic

Just Stop Talking For One Second. Just One. Please Stop Saying My Name Over And Over And Over And Over. Just Let Me Have One Second Of Silence. Please.


----------



## cjr

What do you mean your brother "found a poop?"! OMG! You decide to take a poop now, the one time I let you go comando because all 14 pairs of undies are dirty because you have to let out a small pee before you decide to use the potty. DON'T STEP IN IT! STOP STEPPING IN IT! STAY ON THE POTTY WHILE I FIND THE WIPES, NO STAY, NO STAY...STAY THERE!!! DON'T TOUCH YOUR BUM! This is the fourth poop in a row where I have had to put you in the tub. PLEASE start using the potty. Why can't you use the potty consistantly? Why do you get my hopes up by telling me you have to poo and then go poo in the potty once, just to poop on my carpet later? Why can't you just come out knowing how to use the potty?


----------



## ashtree

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CrunchyTamara*
DON`T FART ON ME, HONEY. PLEASE DON`T FART IN MY FACE! DON`T FART ON ME, I SAID!!!

Wow, that sounds like me. I'm beginning to think it has something to do with being 4...


----------



## 4Marmalade

To 3-1/2 year old ds - "Please stop asking me questions started with "what do you think?" and then telling me I'm wrong and telling me what you think. Why do you have to disagree with everything I say? If you think the car antenna is actually where the horn is then just say so. Don't ask me what I think, let me tell you how a radio antenna works and then tell me I'm wrong anyways!!!"







: "And, do you have a volume control other than just plain loud?" "Oh Yah...and stop whining already"

To 13 month old dd - "I just need to switch the laundry over. It takes me 30 seconds tops. I will pick you up as soon as I'm done. Please, don't throw yourself on the floor crying and act like the world is coming to an end. I WILL pick you up and carry you for most of the day! Do you want clean clothes!!!"

Ahhhhhhhhh......I should have posted this a week ago. Maybe it would have helped sooner.


----------



## Moochie Mamma

To Dh: Yes I'm still exhausted. You cannot possibly think that 2 good nights of sleep (thank you babygirl) can make up for over a year of all-night wakings!!!


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

being thirteen. Trust me!
I went through this stage with your nana and believe it or not we survived ( I am here with you aren't I)
and please stop doing the revisionist history!
I know when we let your brother have a *true* girlfriend and go out on chaperoned and non chaperoned dates thank you very much -ok your dad remembers since my mind is swiss cheese at the moment.
Please quit trying to take advantage of that too!!

dear ds if you don't quit acting like books and other things in the cubes are the plague I may have to quarantine you in the dog crate....

and my teen? Please slow down on the tats-its skin NOT canvas..


----------



## oyemicanto

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop Head-butting Your Sister - Stop Punching, Kicking, Pulling Her Hairs And Being Such A Big Pain In The #$$!!! Stop Whining And Complaining About Every G.d Thing All Day Stop!


----------



## bright

Wow, what a great, cathartic thread!


----------



## mom2evan

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6*
To dd: STOP WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THREE TIMES TO NURSE. I HAVE NURSED YOU WHENEVER YOU WANT FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS AND I AM SOOOOOO DONE WITH NURSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. IN FACT, I BELIEVE I'M DONE NURSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY TOO! AND IN THE EVENINGS, AND THE MORNINGS.

Yes, exactly. That's what I needed to say. That, and NO, NO YOU MAY NOT NURSE NOW, WE ARE IN CHURCH AND THE PRIEST IS STARING RIGHT AT US, YOU JUST NURSED 15 MINUTES AGO, DO NOT STICK YOUR HEAD DOWN MY SHIRT, STOP TRYING TO RIP MY SHIRT OFF MY BODY, STOP, STOP, STOP, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

and GET IN YOUR D*** CARSEAT! YOU KNOW WE CAN NOT GO ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU ARE IN YOUR CARSEAT! MOMMY DOES NOT WANT TO SIT IN THE CAR FOR 20 MINUTES WHILE YOU PLAY WITH THE CONTROLS! YOU CAN PLAY IN THE CAR WHEN WE GET HOME, AND THAT'S ONLY 5 MINUTES AWAY! GAAAHHHHH!!!


----------



## Maggi315

y6tghbn thank you, thank you, thank you

with 5 kids, i feel like i have been there done that with most of what people have written. and it so helps to keep me sane. here;s mine for today...oh btw...nak with 1 finger...

\wtf happened while i was putting baby down for nap. 11yo was supposed to make a pinata...instead everyone started throwing and chasing each other in and out of house with 5 pounds of flour paste!!!! it is freakin' EVERYWHERE! and then when i come down and come unglued and tell you to clean it up...I GET ATTITUDE! WTF???? you're lucky i am on medication! it took 4 [email protected] hours ans you still aren't done cleaning!!!!!







:







:







:


----------



## MissRubyandKen

this rant is a few days old *BUT* I'm still feeling it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to dp- don't you EVER mention hitting one of our dc again or I'm gonna do this to your big dumb dummy head






























































































There now is it through that thick skull of your's? IT ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN, NO WAY NO HOW *NEVER*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## BennyPai

Stop pushing your sister! STOP pusing your sister! STOP PUSHING YOUR SISTER!

DON't PICK YOUR SISTER UP!

NO - I don't feel like buttoning Teddy's sleeper for the ZILLIONTH time!
STAY OUT oF THE REFRIDGERATER! STOP YELLING AT ME - MY EARS ARE RINGING WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY CUP OF COFFEE>...............







:
YOU PUSHED YOUR SISTER AGAIN?!?











































Okay, that's a little better.

Thanks, OP!


----------



## Benji'sMom

Wow DS1 wasn't even born when this thread started!!!

DS2, DON'T START CRYING, I NEED TO PEE SO BAD I CAN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE CAN'T I PUT YOU DOWN FOR 20 SECONDS WITHOUT YOU CRYING!!! CAN'T I TAKE THE CLOTHES OUT OF THE WASHER FOR 20 SECONDS WITHOUT YOU CRYING!!!

DS1, STOP THE WHINING I GAVE YOU SOMETHING TO EAT YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP WHINING JUST *EAT IT!!!!* AND PLEASE START PEEING ON THE POTTY INSTEAD OF THE FLOOR - PLEASE!!!!


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## kyangel80

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK YOU TO PLEASE STOP PUTTING YOUR FINGER UP ONE SIDE OF YOUR NOSE AND BLOWING OUT THE OTHER A MILLION TIMES A DAY!!!!!! GET A FREAKIN' TISSUE ALREADY YOUR 7 YEARS OLD. AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T GET RIGHT NEXT TO MY EAR WHEN YOU ARE CHEWING YOUR FOOD LOUDER THAN A WILD ANIMAL.

NO!!! YOU CAN NOT HAVE A BITE OF WHAT I AM EATING!! LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME EAT IN PEACE. NEWSFLASH, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO FEED YOURSELF YOUR OWN FOOD AND IF YOU WANT ME TO FIX YOU SOME THEN ASK ALREADY. AND WHEN I DO GIVE YOU A BITE OF MY FOOD DON'T ASK ME FOR ANOTHER BITE EVERY 5 SECONDS AFTER THAT BEFORE YOU EVEN GET THE BITE YOU HAVE CHEWED UP!! AND WHAT TYPE OF BRAIN DEFICIT DO YOU HAVE THAT KEEPS YOU FROM UNDERSTANDING NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I OR YOUR DAD TELL YOU *DON'T TALK WITH YOUR FREAKING MOUTH CRAMMED FULL OF FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!*

PLEASE DO NOT WHINE WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING. I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN YOU'RE WHINING. AND WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS EVERYTIME YOU GET UPSET WITH A BLOOD CURDLING SCREECH THAT EATS AT EVERY LAST NERVE YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY GOTTEN ON TODAY WITH YOUR CONSTANT WHINING. AND PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS AND YOUR FEET AND ANY OTHER OBJECT TO YOURSELF AND OFF YOUR BROTHER!!!!!!!! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD AND PROPER BEFORE I GO INSANE.

STOP FREAKIN' CALLING YOUR GRANDMA "MOM" FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME SHE IS NOT YOUR MOM, YOUR AUNT LACEY IS NOT YOUR MOM, YOUR OTHER GRANDMA IS NOT YOUR MOM AND YOU ARE 3 1/2 YEARS OLD AND YOU KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP CALLING EVERYONE MOM JUST BECAUSE YOU FORGOT THERE NAME







: NOW EVERYTIME YOU SAY MOM YOUR GRANDMA ANSWERS YOU INSTEAD OF LETTING ME ANSWER YOU OR TELLING YOU TO CALL HER THE APPROPRIATE TITLE AND ITS MAKING ME WANT TO KILL HER AND YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!!!


----------



## onlyzombiecat

To dd- DO NOT MAKE ONE MORE MESS TODAY... GO TO SLEEP... CAN'T YOU TELL THAT I DON'T FEEL GOOD... STOP WASTING FOOD OR WE WON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO EAT... STOP CHANGING YOUR CLOTHES!!!!!!

to myself- PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER YOU FREAKIN' HYPOCHONDRIAC... STOP WHINING AND BUGGING DH AT WORK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS... HE DOESN'T NEED TO GO IN TO HIS JOB INTERVIEW WITH YOU THINKING YOU ARE DYING... WASH THOSE DISHES AND GET THE CLOTHES OUT OF THE WASHING MACHINE BEFORE THEY START TO SMELL!!!!


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## Storm Bride

dd...it is time to GO. I wanted to pick up the pictures yesterday. You want to go out. GET DRESSED! Is that so bloody hard?? Put on some clothes!!! I don't care which clothes - yes, you can wear your orange pants, pink shirt and your tiara. Okay - FINE! Your brother's sparring helmet - great. WHATEVER YOU WANT. JUST GET DRESSED!! PUT ON CLOTHES!!! WE HAVE TO GO!!! ARRRRGH!!!!

WHY can't you ever just put cothes on?? You want to go out, but you won't get dressed. You can run around naked as soon as we get home, but RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED CLOTHES. PUT SOME ON!!!!!!

YES - I'll help you find them if you want. Okay - I won't. WHATEVER. GET SOME CLOTHES. GET DRESSED. It's TIME TO GO!!!! YES - that's fine.

*** she's dressed...changing baby brother ****

ACK! DD - where is your shirt??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TOOK IT OFF?? WE NEED TO GO! PUT YOUR shirt back on!! THANK YOU...argghhh...NOOOO - not the pants. LEAVE THE PANTS ON!!! DON'T TAKE your clothes off...WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SHOES????


----------



## DebraBaker

I yelled at mine







I asked them to clean up their mess and I got a deer in the headlights response.

These are older and teenagers, no excuse for deer in the headlights.

Son comes home from wrestling camp and overloads the washer. That didn't go well.

And he's technically an adult adolt, whatever. Owns a car, has a job, goes to school, overloads the washer.








: oh, brother.


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## crb

PLEASE LET ME HAVE JUST 5 MINUTES TO MYSELF! I'M GOING CRAZZZZZY HERE! PLEASE LET ME PUT THE BABY TO SLEEP! I DON'T NEED HELP. I KNOW YOU LIKE TO BE WITH ME BUT IF YOU WAKE UP THE BABY HE WILL BE FUSSY ALL AFTERNOON! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE QUIET!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks, i needed that


----------



## Leilalu

Ds, please stop spilling water on the floor!!!!!Stop throwing water out of the bathtub!!!!!!!!!AND STOP DOING EVERY FREAKING THING I ASK YOU NOT TO DO.AND WHILE YOURE AT IT STOP TAKING YOUR DIAPER OFF, LAUGHING AT ME WHEN I DISCIPLINE YOU, TALK TO YOU, OR OTHERWISE TRY TO TEACH YOU. PLEASE STOP ACTING CRAZY. THANK YOU.


----------



## Leilalu

stop taking your shoes off every single time we get in the car during outings. thank you.


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## Leilalu

oh, and please stop intentionally spilling organic grassfed raw milk on the carpet. thanks.


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## lalaland42

GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I know it is hot and you are cranky, I am cranky too. It is passed your bedtime, you woke me up 100 times last night and I still have hours of work to do after you fall asleep. I know you are excited about walking but you CAN NOT WALK EVERYWHERE! It is dangerous to walk in the parking lot. It is 108 degrees and we have to get in the car and start the AC before I melt.

No more screaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Freespiritedjem

I love the idea of this thread...


----------



## bamamom

For the love of God, Stop hurting your brother!!!

Dont jump on the couch!

Dont take the DVD out of the machine!

Go to bed!! Stop jumping on me everytime i sit!!

arg!!


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## Mama8

AAAHHHHH! EVERBODY PLEASE SHUT-UP! CAN'T YOU SEE I AM A PERSON NOT ONLY A MOTHER OR WIFE. I CAN'T TALK TO 4 OF YOU AT THE SAME TIME! I KNOW EACH OF YOU THINKS THAT YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO LISTEN TO I CAN'T TAKE THE 2 YEAR OLD CRYING "MAMA MAMA!" WHILE THE 4 YEAR OLD IS UPSET THE 2 YEAR OLD SCRATCHED HER AND THE 7 YEAR OLD IS TELLING ME THE BABY NEEDS ME AND DARLING HUSBAND IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO PITCH IN AND HELP ME OUT WITH THE KIDS INSTEAD OF TRYING TO TALK OVER THEM ABOUT THE HAIRCUT YOU WANT ME TO DO BEFORE WE LEAVE FOR MT IN 2 DAYS! DEAR HUSBAND CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WASHING UP LOADS OF LAUNDRY AND PACKING FOR 5 CHILDREN AND CLEANING THE HOUSE FOR THE DOG SITTERS AND CLEANING OUT THE CAR AND PACKING THE CAR AND SHOPPING FOR OUR TRIP IS MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE ALL READY! GO TO THE BARBER AND PAY HIM THE FRIKEN MONEY FOR A HAIRCUT. IT WON'T KILL YOU TO PAY FOR A HAIRCUT REALLY! BUT I MIGHT IF I HEAR ONE MORE TIME ABOUT ALL THE WORK YOUR ARE GOING TO DO -GETTING A HAIRCUT, CHANGING THE LOCKS ON THE DOOR-PACKING YOUR BAG AND GETTING TO BED EARLY ON FRIDAY SO YOU WILL BE FRESH TO DRIVE! SHUT-UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID HAIRCUT!!!!!!!
OH AND MOM IF I HEAR ONE MORE TIME ABOUT HOW I CHOSE TO HAVE A LARGE FAMILY AND I WOULDN'T HAVE SO MANY TRIALS IF MY FAMILY WAS SMALLER I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHOVE YOUR TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT!

Oh that feels good. Makes me almost want to scream it. At least at my dh!


----------



## Sephrenia

To dd:
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SACRED, IF YOU DON'T STOP WHINING AT ME I'M REALLY GOING TO LOSE IT. I KNOW YOU'RE LONELY WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NIGHT AND I DON'T MIND YOU COMING INTO MY BED, BUT GREAT SCOT CHILD, DO YOU HAVE TO KICK, SQUIRM, PULL MY HAIR AND LAY ON MY HEAD. ALL NIGHT LONG, WHEN I HAVE TO GET UP FOR WORK?????? YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE, DADDY *CAN* PUT YOU TO BED, REALLY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE AN ABSOLUTE MELTDOWN JUST BECAUSE MAMA WANTS FIVE MINUTES TO HERSELF AFTER WORKING ALL DAY AND DEALING WITH SEPERATION ANXIETY: THE REDUX.
*But I still love you*.









To dh:
HOLY CRAP, CAN'T YOU HELP A MAMA OUT?????? SULKING AND REFUSING TO HELP DD JUST BECAUSE "ALL SHE WANTS IS MAMA" IS THE BIGGEST FREAKIN' COP OUT I'VE EVER HEARD. WAKING ME UP FROM A MUCH NEEDED NAP WHEN I LET YOU SLEEP IN THAT MORNING JUST BECAUSE, IN YOUR OPIONION SHE WANTED MAMA, IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. IF YOU DO IT AGAIN, YOU LOSE A TESTICLE. I'M SERIOUS. I FEEL SOOOO OVERWHELMED WITH WORK AND DD, BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE I CAN SAY THAT. YOUR RESPONSE IS HOW YOU JUST DID THE LAUNDRY. YES, THANK YOU, YOU DID THE LAUNDRY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT???? I'D LIKE TO TAKE A CRAP BY MYSELF WITHOUT HAVING TO TRY TO WIPE MY ARSE WITH AN 19 MONTH OLD GLUED TO MY LAP. CAN YOU DO THAT, I DIDN'T THINK SO.







BUT SERIOUSLY, THANKS FOR WASHING MY UNDERWEAR.








*And you know what, I still love you even though yer a bonehead.* And yes, I do know how lucky I am to have such a house-helper around.


----------



## Amirah

Stop Crying Over Everything You Cant Have!!!!i Cant Let You Play With A Knife!!! Dont Touch That Plug!!!yes You Will Take A Bath!!!no You Cant Play At 2 In The Morning!!!!!stop Breaking Everything In The House!!!!forget That Word B**ch, Where Did You Hear That To Begin With???do You Only Know What It Means!!!stop Slapping Mommy When She Takes You To The Bathtub!!!


----------



## Dr.Worm

alsosarah, unfortunately she really said that in an interview. I am frightened.







:


----------



## aira

to DS:
STOP PULLING ON ME! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!

for DH:
QUIT THE F-ING WHINING!!!!!!!!!! SO WHAT IF MY MOTHER WAS IN _YOUR_ DRIVEWAY WHEN YOU GOT HOME! IT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE AN ASS ALL GOD DAMN NIGHT ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!

AND GET OVER IT THAT I TOLD DS YOU WERE HOME BEFORE YOU HAD A CHANCE TO REST!! WHEN EXACTLY DO I GET TO REST AND UNWIND?!?! AND IF I DEMANDED A MANDATORY REST TIME WOULD I BE ALLOWED TO WHINE AND MOAN ALL NIGHT ABOUT NOT GETTING IT?!?!?! NO F-ING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!


----------



## aira

Sephrenia...







:


----------



## mom2evan

To DS AND DH:

Why do you think it is funny to make fart noises on my boobs and belly fat? I do not think it is funny.

Did you hear me? I DO NOT THINK THAT IS FUNNY.

STOP!!!!!


----------



## wonderwahine

lol ds does fart noises on my chest/arms/neck when he wants to nurse, he picked it up because we do them on his tummy, so now he does it as a signal









to myself: GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND DO THE CLEANING YOU HAVE GUESTS COMING TONIGHT, DO YOU WANT THEM TO THINK YOUR A SLOB!


----------



## CryPixie83

Stop repeating yourself a million times no matter how many times I answer your question or acknowledge what you're saying!!!

Don't sit on the dog/cat.

Having a tantrum is not going to suddenly give mommy the energy to get up and dance with you so pleeeeeeease stop whining.

TAKE A FRICKIN NAP!!!!!!

*sigh*


----------



## northcountrymamma

IRL: "shhh lets close our eyes and we can talk when we wake up"
IMH(in my head): CLOSE YOUR FRICKIN EYES AND GO TO SLEEP NOW

IRL: "I really don't like it when you pull on me like that, I am cooking dinner and if you would like to help, please get your stool."
IMH: STOP YANKING ON ME EVERY 10 SECONDS...WHAT THE HECK DOOOO YOU WANT...I PERSONALLY WANT SOME DINNER SOMETIME IN THE NEXT HOUR!

IRL: "thank you but I can get my toilet paper myself, why don't you get some for wiping your baby (doll)"
IMH: GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM SO MAMMA CAN HAVE 5 SECONDS TO HERSELF, I WILL WIPE MY ASS MYSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!


----------



## Lizzo

Heh hem...this is going to feel good.
To DS- I SEE THE G*D DAMN MOON ON THAT RUG! YES! IT IS IN FACT THE MOON! I WILL NOT REPEAT THAT IT IS THE MOON ONE MORE TIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!
WHY WWWHHHYYYY CAN YOU NOT NAP?! SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE TO CHILL THE F*** OUT IN BETWEEN NURSING SO I CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM...CAUSE GUESS WHAT?! NO ONE WIPES MY A** IF I GO IN *MY* PANTS,OK?!
OH! AND WHEN WE ARE DRIVING- THAT IS MAMA'S SPECIAL SERNE TIME BECAUSE THAT IS ALL MAMA GETS. SO, *DO NOT* CONTINUE TO SAY "MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA MAMA" IT PULLS AT MY HEART STRINGS AND MAKES ME WANT TO FREAK OUT ALL AT ONCE...AND I DON'T NEED THAT.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! !!!!! YOU KNOW HOW TO TURN ON THAT DAMN THING! LET ME PACK!!!!!! LET ME CLEAN! LET ME PRETEND IMY NAME IS STILL LIZ, THAT I STILL AM MORE THAN WALKING BREASTS WHO CAN DO THE S***(and enjoy it too!) THAT CHILDLESS PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT.
To my mother:
WHY MUST YOU BE SO OBNOXIOUS WHILE TAKING CARE OF MY SON? IT IS EASY TO TELL PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE BEING A GRANDMA AND THEN TOTALLY SLACK OFF WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM AND GO AGAINST EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO FOR HIM. WATCHING YOU INTERACT WITH HIM(if I can call it that!)MAKES ALL THE WONDERING CEASE ABOUT WHY MY SISTER AND I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER HAVE KIDS- YOU ARE ONE OF THEM.
To DP- i WORK 1000000 TIMES HARDER THAN YOU DO AND JUST BECAUSE I DON'T GET A PAYCHECK DOESN'T MAKE THAT NOT SO. I NEED TIME TO MYSELF SOMETIMES. YOU CAN HANDLE DS. HE'S ONE OF THE MOST EASY GOING KIDS I KNOW.
YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND STUDY ME AND HOW I TREAT YOU. WHEN YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT, A JOY, AN NAYTHING TO SHARE WITH ME OR NEED TO TAKE SOEMTIME TO YOURSELF- I LISTEN AND ACCOMADATE YOU HAPPILY. IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT MORE THAN ME. IT IS BECAUSE IT IS HOW PEOPLE DESERVE TO BE TREATED.
AND NO I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU. ASKING ME AND HINTING TO ME WHAT YOU WANT(by the way- it doesn't take your not so subtle hints to figure it out!) MAKES ALL DESIRE EVAPORATE!!!!!!!!!
Sigh. That felt good. Something tells me I'll be here more often


----------



## familylove

Please, please, please for the love of the earth and skies, STOP CLIMBING ON ME!!! AND HOLY MOLY, PLEASE BE QUIET FOR 10 SECONDS.

JUST *TRY* THE FRICKIN' FOOD, YOU CAN SPIT IT OUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!

YES, I AM GOING POOP AND I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT ALONE FOR ONCE WITHOUT YOU ATTEMPTING TO SIT ON MY LAP!

To my DH: I love you more than life itself, but I am sick of hearing how horny you are. I am only one woman and sex is about 100 out of 101 on my list right now.

Whew...thanks!


----------



## forbiddenpluto

OMG!!! GO TO SLEEP AT A NORMAL TIME!!! NO MORE OF THIS NO NAPPING THING THEN PASSING OUT AT 7 PM AND THEN WAKING UP AT 10 PM!!!

And please... PLEASE learn how to hold my hand in public will you?!


----------



## Dmitrizmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Leilalu*
stop taking your shoes off every single time we get in the car during outings. thank you.









: every freaking time!!







:


----------



## Nature

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dmitrizmom*







: every freaking time!!







:

YES! PLEASE STOP! I am so sick and tired of putting on your shoes over and over and over and over again. When we go to the store that is only 5 freakin minutes away, WHY must you take off your shoes even for that????


----------



## ShabbyChic

I wasn't the OP of this sentiment, it was years ago on this thread and I will never forget it, so I will say it again:

"GO OUTSIDE, TAKE SLEEPING BAGS".


----------



## cuttiebearmom

HOW WOULD IT FEEL IF I STEPPED ON YOUR FEET EVERY 10 MINUTES !

Ah, glad I found this thread, been holding that one in for 2 months now, hehe!


----------



## ShabbyChic

Shut Up.


----------



## lalaland42

Why oh why did you grab your poopie diaper? Now you have poopie on your hands and jeez you just got it on my shirt. Stop kicking and thrashing. Don't you know this will get poopie all over your legs? I JUST GAVE YOU A BATH. STOP IT!

Oh, and please stop this independent streak and go back in the Ergo. I do love you.


----------



## forbiddenpluto

OMG!!! GO TO SLEEP!!! GO TO SLEEP!!! GO TO SLEEP!!!

I've been trying since 10:00... PLEASE GO TO SLEEP!!!

You make me so sad. I just want to sleep.


----------



## doula and mom

OH.MY.GOD.STOP.PULLING.MY.EYEGLASSES.OFF.MY.FACE.







:

I WEAR THEM FOR A REASON -- TO SEE! I CANNOT SEE WHEN YOU PULL THEM OFF MY FACE, GET YOUR DIRTY LITTLE FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER THEM, THEN FLING THEM SOMEWHERE ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM! I ALSO CAN'T FIND THEM WHEN YOU DO THAT BECAUSE I'M #$&%^ING BLIND WITHOUT THEM, YOU LITTLE EYEGLASS THIEF!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


----------



## Benji'sMom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzo*
To my mother:
WHY MUST YOU BE SO OBNOXIOUS WHILE TAKING CARE OF MY SON? IT IS EASY TO TELL PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE BEING A GRANDMA AND THEN TOTALLY SLACK OFF WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM AND GO AGAINST EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO FOR HIM. WATCHING YOU INTERACT WITH HIM(if I can call it that!)MAKES ALL THE WONDERING CEASE ABOUT WHY MY SISTER AND I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER HAVE KIDS- YOU ARE ONE OF THEM.

God, YES, EXACTLY!!!!! WHY ARE YOU (my mom) SUCH A WIERDO!!!!! AND WHY DO YOU TALK ABOUT MY KIDS WITH FAKE LOVE AND AFFECTION THAT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY SHOW THEM???!!! JUST GET OUT OF MY LIFE YOU ARE RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!!


----------



## arwenevenstar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ja mama*
Now I can't yell. I'm laughing too hard at you Mama's.

I cannot BELIEVE I only just found this thread some 16 pages in!!!!!! OMG, perhaps I should be yelling at myself !!!

I can soooo relate to you all, particularly those of you who get all the questions everytime you want to eat........

" No, I don't know when volcanoes are going to explode, there are experts for that, (takes a mouthful) No, there isn't a volcano in CT, (chokes) No, I don't know who you can ask, we can look it up on the internet - (to toddler) don't feed the dog please........(to middle child) can you take your fingers out of your mouth so you can at least try to eat something? What? What volcano? (tries to eat and misses mouth) - you need to toilet, what NOW?







: Go on then, call if you need me. I just asked you if you needed to go? What volcano?, The internet, what NOW?







Stop feeding the dog!! What toilet on the internet.......eh? you what,







(chokes again) - look, can you just eat and let me eat, then we will talk, (middle child calls) - how did you "miss the seat" you are sat on it!, I don't know ANYTHING about freakin' volcanos,







but believe me, there is one about to erupt here......stop feeding the damn dog PLEASE - NOW - Right, you, outside........*dog, *child, * mama- (please add your own) - leaves the building"









Wow, that really DOES feel good!


----------



## Dmitrizmom

Will you PLEASE stop playing $%[email protected]$%^#[email protected]$% titty twister with my other nipple while you are nursing!?!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

better now.


----------



## ~member~

PLEASE QUIT THROWING MY TOOTHBRUSHES IN THE TOILET!!!!!
They are *NOT* mini-toilet brush cleaners!!!!


----------



## Tonia80

dO YOU KNOW HOW hard IT IS TO TRY TO GET DRESSED WHILE YOU HANG ON MY LEG AND WHINE?????!!!! Please give mommy some breathing room, give me two freakin minutes to shave my legs or eat breakfast or PEE fortheloveofgod!!!!!!


----------



## Storm Bride

STOP - STOP taking food out of the fridge. No - plums and kiwis DO NOT belong on the freaking patio for your brother to tear apart. ARRRGGH! WHY is there plum all over your brother? EEEK - that's the last kiwi - what are you doing with it? STOP STOP STOP!!!!! WHY don't you believe?? FOOD THAT GETS TAKEN OUT OF THE FRIDGE WILL ROT - you've seen it happen often enough. JUST STOP TAKING FOOD OUT, TAKING ONE BITE AND LEAVING IT SITTING SOMEWHERE HIDDEN!!!

While you're at it - stop opening the pantry so your brother can get the potatoes. I don't WANT a SINGLE FREAKIN BITE in EVERY potato in the HOUSE!!!! JUST LEAVE THE DOOR *CLOSED*!


----------



## AntoninBeGonin

Oh, I need this after today. It's hard being pregnant when you have a stinky little toddler









I'm trying to use the bathroom! No I will not come out until I'm done! Okay, I'm wiping now so I'll be there in a second! Geeeezus! Stop calling my name! I don't want to hear my name again! ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!







:







:







:







:
















~Nay


----------



## absinthe

okay, today I really need this. Here goes...
YOU KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT LONG SO TODAY I AM TIRED AND CRANKY!!!! PLEASE STOP JUMPING ON THE FURNITURE!!! STOP ENCOUAGING YOUR LITTLE BROTHER TO DO THINGS THAT WILL GET HIM HURT AND THEN LAUGHING!!!! DON'T SPIT ON HIM!!! WE ARE NOT PEOPLE WHO SPIT!!! DO NOT CLOSE THE DOOR ON HIS HEAD!!! DON'T ASK ME FOR FOOD AND THEN FEED IT TO THE DOG!!! DO NOT THROW AWAY A WHOLE BIG BOWL OF PISTACHIOS BECAUSE YOU ARE DONE WITH THEM. THOSE THINGS COST A FORTUNE!!! DO NOT SCREAM IN YOUR BROTHERS EAR WHILE HE IS NAPPING!!! AAGGHH!! I AM BEGINNING TO WONDER IF I CAN MAIL YOU SOMEWHERE IN A LARGE BOX POSTAGE DUE!!!

Thanks for letting me vent.


----------



## JayGee

For DS:
The sofa cushions belong on the sofa, not the floor.

The tablecloth belongs on the table, not the floor.

And for the love of Pete, stop moving the furniture from room to room







: !!!

For DD1:
YES, you ARE poopy! I can smell you from across the room. Now PLEASE let me change your diaper.


----------



## QueenOfThePride

Stop WHIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNG!!!!


----------



## ~Demeter~

DO I NEED TO HIDE THE SCISSORS FROM ALL OF YOU?!!??

DS3- Why oh WHY did you cut your own hair?! Was there a reason you chopped bits and pieces off the top? No we can't make it grow back! Yes I have to cut the rest! Do you see mommy crying over this?! Yes mommy is very sad.. yes mommy liked your hair.

DS1-







: Was there a reason after you saw me cry over Aidan's hair that you felt the need to cut off half your eyebrow? Why would you tell me you have no idea how that happened when we both know perfectly well that you do?!

DS2- Must you torment your brothers and make them cry all the time?? Do you get some sort of sick pleasure from that? Can you please refrain from drowning ants in the toilet and asking me to come look?

To all 3- Can't you all get along? Can I not have a moments peace? It's my birthday you little brats can't you be nice for one day to mommy?? PLEEEEAAASE?!


----------



## hubris

TAKE A FREAKING NAP BEFORE I LOSE MY LAST SHRED OF SANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are TIRED and will be CRANKY and MISERABLE for the rest of the day if you do not lay your little body down and GO. TO. SLEEP.


----------



## JamesMama

SLEEP!!! Stay asleep! You don't nurse laying down very well anymore. It hurts. My nipples hurt constantly. Please sleep without my boob in your mouth. I'm exhausted. Also STOP THE SHRIEKING! It's driving me insane! It's loud and obnoxious...I don't like it. Our house is too small to be that loud.


----------



## siouxm

I love this thread! I have laughed away all my frustration but I could add:

DO YOU *HAVE* TO ANNOUNCE IT TO ME EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU NEED TO PEE? AND CAN'T YOU JUST GO WITHOUT MAKING IT SUCH AN EMERGENCY THAT YOU SCREAM OUT WHILE DOING THE PEE PEE DANCE "I HAVE TO PEE!"???? I REALLY DON'T NEED TO KNOW YOUR SPECIFIC BATHROOM HABITS. JUST GOOOOOO!!! AND GO WELL BEFORE IT BECOMES AN EMERGENCY!

ALSO CAN YOU PLEASE STAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM _UNLESS_ YOU ARE IN THERE TO USE THE TOILET? THE POTIONS OF TOOTHPASTE, MOISTURIZER, AND BATH WASH SPREAD ALL OVER THE COUNTER TOP ARE *NOT* MY PLEASURE TO CLEAN UP AND COST MORE THAN YOU CURRENTLY HAVE IN YOUR PIGGY BANK TO REPLACE THEM.

WHERE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU GET GUM????


----------



## Crazy Basil

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siouxm*
WHERE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU GET GUM????









: I'm sorry, that sounds really, potentially disastrous. But...







:

And mine:

Please, PLEASE, *PLEASE* STOP taking off your poop filled diaper and smearing it on any and every surface you can find. Daddy is going to literally blow his top if you do it one more time and next time I'm not sure I can convince him not to just throw out anything with poop on it. You'll have no toys to play with. Seriously. STOP WITH THE POOP SMEARING!!!!!!


----------



## Attached Mama

LOL









My DD just turned 1 so not much yet to get dfrustrated with excxept i wish you 8would PLEASE STOP BFTOUCHING THE KEYYBOARDJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF


----------



## Brazilianmommy

My dd is 14 months and she is a really good girl but at this time I just need..

PLEASE LET ME HAVE 5 MINUTES ALONE WITH YOUR DADDY!!JUST 5 MINUTES!!LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES!!


----------



## Tonia80

Stop RUNNING in the house! WHY are you in such a freakin rush? STOP RUNNING!!!!! You guys sound like a freaking herd of water buffalos and the downstairs nieghbor is gonna hate us forever! SLOW DOWN!!!!! And for the love of god QUIT crashing into the walls! Are you BLIND??? Do you not SEE the wall there???? You are not made of rubber, you cannot BOUNCE OFF!
I swear, its like living in a house full of mice on speed in a maze.......


----------



## midstreammama

Please stop playing with the water cooler/dispenser. There is no lock on it and the water is ruining the floor!! Please stop messing with your sister and please take a nap, please?!


----------



## chrfath

please STOP throwing your bowl of food to tell me you are done eating.


----------



## Beeblebrox

GO TO SLEEP GO TO SLEEP GO TO SLEEP! I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED, YOU KNOW YOU'RE TIRED. MY NIPPLES ARE TIRED, MY BACK IS SORE AND I WANT ONE FREAKING MINUTE TO MYSELF!!







:


----------



## PatchyMama

please stop chewing up popcorn and spitting it on the furniture and floor. You are 5... you really should be able to understand why this is frustrating for me.


----------



## Nature

Stop Pooping In The Playhouse!! I'm Tired Of Taking Out All Your Playfood And Washing Them!!!!!!!

Peeing In The Box Of Lego's Is Freaking Gross! How The Hell Do You Wash And Dry Legos! Use The Toilet! The Toilet! And For The Love Of God, Stop Putting Your Sisters Toothbrush In There! I Can't Buy A New One Every Damn Day!!


----------



## ABMama

STOP BITING ME. IT REALLY REALLY HURTS!
(wouldn't be so bad if it was just a bite, but it's a bite then pull)
I love this thread!


----------



## Dmitrizmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tonia80*
I swear, its like living in a house full of mice on speed in a maze.......
















:














:


----------



## 2tolove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *siouxm*
I love this thread! I have laughed away all my frustration but I could add:

DO YOU *HAVE* TO ANNOUNCE IT TO ME EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU NEED TO PEE? AND CAN'T YOU JUST GO WITHOUT MAKING IT SUCH AN EMERGENCY THAT YOU SCREAM OUT WHILE DOING THE PEE PEE DANCE "I HAVE TO PEE!"???? I REALLY DON'T NEED TO KNOW YOUR SPECIFIC BATHROOM HABITS. JUST GOOOOOO!!! AND GO WELL BEFORE IT BECOMES AN EMERGENCY!

ALSO CAN YOU PLEASE STAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM _UNLESS_ YOU ARE IN THERE TO USE THE TOILET? THE POTIONS OF TOOTHPASTE, MOISTURIZER, AND BATH WASH SPREAD ALL OVER THE COUNTER TOP ARE *NOT* MY PLEASURE TO CLEAN UP AND COST MORE THAN YOU CURRENTLY HAVE IN YOUR PIGGY BANK TO REPLACE THEM.

WHERE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DID YOU GET GUM????


















I came to say the EXACT same things!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May I add

PLEASE STOP EATING THINGS THAT AREN'T FOOD, NO..... REALLY .....I FEED YOU ALL DAY LONG!
I MEAN THAT.... YOU REALLY HAVE SOME SORT OF FOOD IN YOUR HAND ALL DAY LONG! I REALIZE THAT IT MAY BE A LOT TO ASK YOU BEING 3 AND 1/2 AND ALL







I WILL EVEN GIVE YOU A LIST OF THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM ( and yes, i am serious about these being eaten in my house just today)
1.MY YOGA MAT, IT IS NEW, AND I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANYTHING THAT I AM ABLE TO CALL MY OWN ANYMORE IT WAS A GIFT TO MYSELF THAT I EVEN LET YOU USE AT YOUR WILL, BUT DID YOU HAVE TO BITE OFF THE CORNER AND CHEW IT UP? I MEAN REALLY WE HAVE FOOD & A LOT OF IT
2. YOUR NEW WOODEN TRAIN SET
3. YOUR BROTHERS PACI ( THEY COST A LOT, AND WE LOSE ENOUGH WITHOUT HAVING THEM CHEWED UP AND EATEN BY YOU)
4. MONEY THIS YOU COULD ACTUALLY CHOKE ON, BUT ALSO BECAUSE WE ARE NOW RUNNING LOW DUE TO ALL OF THE OTHER THINGS THAT YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO SEE IF YOUR BODY WILL DIGEST
5. LASTLY YOUR BLANKET I MEAN REALLY, IT IS EVEN YOUR BLANKET....IS NOTHING SACRED? YOU TELL ME DAILY HOW SPECIAL THIS BLANKET IS TO YOU AND THEN YOU EAT IT ?????? AM I MISSING SOMETHING????? BUT HONESTLY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY PLEASE STOP EATING THINGS THAT AREN'T FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







:







:

Ok Thanks a lot Mamas!


----------



## samantha546

Quote:


Originally Posted by *traceface*
STAY. ASLEEP. STOP. WAKING. UP. EVERY. 20. MINUTES. FOR. MILKIES.

TRUE THAT!


----------



## mamabearsoblessed

ooh I was thinking about this thread the other day~~~

pleasae stop pooping THEN sitting on the potty when you just got off after refusing to poop and insisting on a dipe then sliding your poopy butt on and off the potty the second I move onto something else~~~~ please stop sitting said butt everywhere with POOPP!!!!!!!!!

to dd~~ your feet are insane and drive me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!! please stop rubbing them all over me ALL. NIGHT> LONG. what on creation is the deal with your feet!>?!?

to both of you. stop taking food every time I leave one room to go to the other. i know you can't be hungry every second of every day. we cannot afford all the wszteed food you too take and leave around!!!

stop touching your brother!!!!
please pklease, stop spitting stop spitting stop spitting.
stop whipping the *^$$&%* facecloth around the tub your soaking evrything in new engkand for God's sake!!!!!!

aaaagggghhhh.
ahhhh. thanks







:


----------



## 5xmom

If you wake up your sleeping baby sister one more time I'm going to snap!!! Why do you have to go in and grab at her when she's asleep? Do you see that then ther is even less attention for you? Can I ever have one second of peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## familylove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2*
Stop Pooping In The Playhouse!! I'm Tired Of Taking Out All Your Playfood And Washing Them!!!!!!!

Peeing In The Box Of Lego's Is Freaking Gross! How The Hell Do You Wash And Dry Legos! Use The Toilet! The Toilet! And For The Love Of God, Stop Putting Your Sisters Toothbrush In There! I Can't Buy A New One Every Damn Day!!









: I'm sorry to laugh at your pain...but this is frickin' hilarious!

I'm with a pp: Do not announce to meet at top volume in a panicked voice that your have to go potty....JUST GO. You are oh-so-capable of pulling your shorts/undies down and peeing by yourself.

Also, if you continue to hit the scroll button and/or type while I'm trying to take a few minutes to look at MDC, I am going to lose my mind.

Love the thread, ladies!


----------



## Dael

Old thread.

Robbie:
Robbie, sweetie can you please stop playing soccer inside the house?
STOP IT!! WE'RE NOT IN A SOCCER FIELD!!!

PUT THAT PUPPY DOWN!! NOW THE POOR THING NEEDS TO WALK PUT HIM DOWN!!!

STOP BOTHERING THE BABY!!! ROBERTO PAULI, POR EL AMOR DE DIOS DEJA A LA NIÑA EN PAZ, NO LE JALES EL PELO, DEJALA YA, QUE NO ENTIENDES CASTELLANO DEJALA YA!!!!!!

Camille:

"NO ME PELLIZQUES, ME DUELE!!!"
"A MAMI NO LE GUSTA QUE LE JALEN EL CABELLO, YA CALMATE!!"
"DUERMETE, CAMILLE YA DUERMETE!!

Sorry I had to post something Spanish


----------



## RedWine

Stop making faces at me. You have no idea how much that pushes my buttons, and you have no idea how hard I am trying to keep my father's disciplinary techniques buried away deep within me. If you grew up in my childhood home, you would have been slapped, spanked, and grounded repeatedly for what you are doing. I HATE these faces. So when I lose it and yell at you for them, try to forgive me eventually for losing my cool, but jesus christ already -- STOP MAKING THOSE FRIGGIN' FACES AT ME!!!!


----------



## Cujobunny

Yep. Old thread, but a good one...

STOP HITTING THE FRICKIN CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## sarathan

JUST EAT YOUR DAMN BREAKFAST SO WE CAN GET ON WITH OUR DAY!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!

Wow, I really do feel better!


----------



## sarathan

This is for my 22-month old:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP THROWING FOOD ON THE FLOOR! I'M SO SICK OF IT!!!


----------



## mamadodson

Oh i wish i would have found this earlier...

OMG WILL YOU ALL JUST STOP FIGHTING KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, STOP WHINING AND SCREAMING AND FIGHTING OVER TOYS, CANT EVERYONE JUST GET ALONG, UGH I SO NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!


----------



## Nature

*sigh* Please... If you must insist on not wearing underwear and sticking your finger in your butthole every 5 seconds, could you go to your room and do that????!!! Please?? Or hey, at least not do it WHILE nursing!! It kinda grosses me out and I'm sooooo tired of washing your hands constantly because you want to poke things. *sigh*


----------



## springmama

WILL YOU GIVE ME 2 SECONDS TO GET MY BOOB OUT OF MY SHIRT SO THAT I CAN NURSE YOU? MAYBE YOU CAN WAIT NICELY WITH OUT HITTING, KICKING AND SCREAMING!!! DO NOT TOUCH THE COMPUTER YOU WILL HURT IT AND PAPA WILL BE SOOOO MAD IF WE BREAK THE EXPENSIVE COMPUTER!

oh i am so glad that this thread is here. Thanks!


----------



## kittn

2.5ds IT IS NOT I REPEAT NOT FUNNY TO PEE IN YOUR POTTY AND FLING THE PEE AT ME. THE POTTY IS NOT A SINK. DO NOT FLICK PEE AT ME .EVER.AGAIN. THAT IS GROSS I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!

8yo ds YOU ARE IN MY SPACE. IF I CAN FEEL YOU BREATHING ON MY EYE BALL YOU ARE TO DARN CLOSE.BACK UP.PLEASE PLEASE JUST STOP TALKING FOR 30 SECONDS 30 SECONDS OF QUIET AM I ASKING FOR WORLD PEACE????? NO JUST SHUT UP BEFORE I SELL YOU

11ds IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR YOU TO JUST REMEMBER TO BRUSH YOUR HAIR.IF YOU COMB IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE ONE MORE TIME WHILE IM TALKING TO YOU I SWEAR I WILL SHAVE IT IN YOUR SLEEP.IF I SEE IT IN YOUR MOUTH ONE MORE TIME I WILL SHAVE YOUR HEAD I SWEAR TO G**
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR BRAND NEW WINTER COAT IS???? HOW DO YOU LOOSE A WINTER COAT??????


----------



## SuperMama




----------



## oldcrunchymom

Dear 11yo son:

Please stop acting like I'm torturing you when I remind you to brush your teeth at night. After 11 years, this simple activity should no longer be a surprise or a source of angst to you. Nor should you "forget" to brush your teeth whenever I DON'T remind you. Nor should you have a total meltdown worthy of a 2 year old when your toothpaste is out and you have to use mine or your sister's. It's getting old, buddy.

Love,
Lisa (which you call me instead of "Mom")

Dear 8yo daughter,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop talking in the "baby voice." PLEASE. It drives me out of my ever-bleepin' mind. It is NOT cute like you think it is, it's just ridiculous and annoying. As you like to remind me, you are NOT a baby, so why do you feel the need to talk like one? Arrrrgh. I love you but the baby voice makes me want to throw you out the window!

Love,
Mama


----------



## Benji'sMom

When you ask for juice and see me at the frige getting it for you, you don't have to keep screaming JUICE! JUICE! JUICE! the ENTIRE TIME!!! You're getting your damn juice, now SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And stop going outside to poop.


----------



## sarathan

To my 3 1/2 year old ds while grocery shopping:

Please stop pulling the freakin cart away! Seriously, STOP!! I'm so sick of asking you a zillion times, just STOP!! The next time you pull the cart away, I'm going to take the damn thing and run you over with it!!

This was my 3rd post on this thread today....I guess I'm having a bad day. lol


----------



## FLmom_3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ja mama* 
Now I can't yell. I'm laughing too hard at you Mama's.

OH MY GOSH!! Me too! THANK YOU ladies! I have had one of those days and this really REALLY helped me to realize I'm not alone!


----------



## FLmom_3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2* 
*sigh* Please... If you must insist on not wearing underwear and sticking your finger in your butthole every 5 seconds, could you go to your room and do that????!!! Please?? Or hey, at least not do it WHILE nursing!! It kinda grosses me out and I'm sooooo tired of washing your hands constantly because you want to poke things. *sigh*


LOL! My 3 yr old is CONSTANTLY sticking her fingers down the back of her pants and we have this same issue!


----------



## Lohagrace

IF YOU TURN ON THE COMPUTER ONE.MORE.TIME AND GO TO SOME RANDOM WEBSITE AND START CLICKING AROUND (how did my 2 year old even figure this out?) I'M GOING TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU, SERIOUSLY, IF YOU BREAK MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS NOT A TOY. IT IS NOT FOR YOU TO PLAY WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER TOUCH IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!

and stop taking so F'KIN LONG to get ready every time we have to go somewhere. seriously!!!!!!!! ITS SO ANNOYING!!

ahhhh. this is a great thread.


----------



## Ms Ladybug

Alison?
ALISON?
ALISON!! ALISON!!! (I'm standing about 2 feet away and she doesn't even blink when I'm calling her name!
ALISON! LOOK AT ME! I'M TALKING TO YOU! ARE YOU FREAKIN DEAF!!!


----------



## Realrellim

Oh yeah!

GO. TO. SLEEP! JUST BLEEPIN' SLEEP! NOW! YOU NEED A NAP. YOUR BEDTIME WAS AN HOUR AGO. I NEED YOU TO STOP WHINING AND WHINING AND DEMANDING AND WHINING. GO TO SLEEP!


----------



## hipumpkins

Stay Asleep....i Am Sick And Tired Especially Tired Of Waking As Though You Were Newborn. Knock It Ioff And Stya Asleep And 4 Am Is Not Play Time!!!stay The F Asleep!!!!!!

I Swear Dd If You Pinch Hit Kick Hit Your Brother One More Time I Am Going To Send You To Your Room Forever!!!!!
Now Just Get Dressed In Atimely Fashion And You Can So Put Your Own Shirt On


----------



## nova22

I love you. I love you lots. I love your little pink cheeks and big blue eyes. But please for the love of all that is good, let me sleep tonight. I know you love your two hour nursing session at 2am, but can you please try to prune it back a little bit this time? Those new chompers of your's are out of control and it hurrrrrrrts!


----------



## arwenevenstar

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FLmom_3* 
OH MY GOSH!! Me too! THANK YOU ladies! I have had one of those days and this really REALLY helped me to realize I'm not alone!










Now you see THAT was the magic attached to this thread.

I am laughing so hard now that my kids are running wildly around the house (something I usually find really irritating!!) like banshees............ah well, this is better than negotiation!
















But I have to add:

It's time to go. Please put on your shoes, you have had a 5 minute warning..........1 minute later........please put your shoes on I am asking you nicely..........where is your brother? (find brother upstairs where he started the day!) why have you undressed and put on play clothes, we have to be at school in 10 minutes, now put the clothes back on that you chose for school.......(ds 1comes upstairs too, minus his shoes!)...where has she peed?....(running downstairs frantically)....did you HAVE to? you could have said something before.............SHOES...!............CLOTHES..! .........BATHROOM....!.......Why do you have do to this every frickin' day? I give you time to get ready for this.........CLOTHES.............Oh god! now you've bloody poohed as well, oh S*** it's gone onto your clothes............SCHOOL CLOTHES NOW OR I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU AWAY!!!!!!!!!!GET ME A DIAPER AND SOME CLEAN CLOTHES PLEASE I AM COVERED IN POOP! AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH


----------



## nova22

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STOP WHINING!

I really don't want to make you stay home from the pizza place on your BIRTHDAY but I absolutely can't tolerate this whining and aggression especially when I already feel like **** and my head is pounding. I don't understand, this day started off beautifully...we all had breakfast together, Daddy helped your sister get dressed, I got my shower in before breakfast, I got presents wrapped, you all were playing nicely...now you're trying to WHIP YOUR SISTER WITH A TIE and completely ignoring your daddy. This morning you said you wanted to stay home and play with daddy while I took your sister for pizza, and now you want to go instead, but you're ACTING LIKE THIS AND IT'S HORRIBLE!!! STOP IT STOP IT!


----------



## damselfly41

PLEASE, PLEASE! I AM SO SICK! I JUST NEED TO SIT FOR A WHILE! PLEASE. LET ME DRINK A HOT CUP OF COFFEE. NO. YOU CAN'T HAVE COFFEE. NO I WILL NOT MAKE YOU A CUP OF TEA. NO, YOU HAVE HAD YOUR JUICE FOR TODAY! I WANT TO DRINK MY COFFEE! I WANT TO REST FOR A MINUTE! (INSERT SNEEZES, NOSE BLOWING AND A COUGH OR TWO) DON'T MAKE ME GET UP AND LOOK AT YET ANOTHER CHALK BOARD DRAWING. PLEASE, LET ME REST! MY HEAD IS POUNDING, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP YELLING? YOU CANNOT JUMP ON HER! YOU ARE HURTING HER! YOU CANNOT PULL HIS HAIR! HE'S CRYING, DON'T YOU HEAR THAT? HE'S SAYING NO! JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE!

And this is for all the ladies at the stores and restaurants last week, when I was just barely starting to get this nasty, nasty cold... even tho I smiled and nodded and pretended...

HE IS A BOY!!!!!!! NOT A GIRL!!!!! YES, HE IS PRETTY! YES, HE DOES HAVE LONG HAIR!!!!!! HE IS A BOY! DO YOU NOT SEE HIS CLOTHES?!! HE IS WEARING B-O-Y CLOTHES!!!!! HE IS A BOY!!!!!! STOP CALLING HIM A HER, SHE, SISTER, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I will be going to the microwave to zap my java for the tenth time and try to gulp it down while it is still hot.







:


----------



## FLmom_3

to dd's this afternoon: WHY do you INSIST on leaving the Mcdonald's cups WITH DRINK STILL IN THEM in the cupholder in the car!!! You are 11 and 8 - IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK that you get your OWN CUPS out? You don't want me to "gripe" about it because then I will only think you did it because I said something - well GUESS WHAT! I DIDN'T say anything this time and THE FRICKIN' CUP LEAKED just like I said it would and now there's drink ALLLLLLLLL over my floorboard and every OTHER thing, food, toy, etc. you've dumped there is WET because you DIDN'T DO IT AGAIN! My floorboard and car are gonna stink like mildew, I DON'T have time to vaccuum it out right now and GREAT! Your 3 yo sister just took her socks and shoes off on the way to the D*** store and threw her sock RIGHT IN THE CUPHOLDER and NOW HER SOCKS ARE SOAKED! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! IT'S 40 FRICKIN DEGREES OUTSIDE! WHAT in the WORLD am I supposed to do now with a BAREFOOT 3 YO? I didn't pack a bag for a FIVE MINUTE TRIP to the store!!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU BEFORE YOU REALIZE WHAT I SAID WILL HAPPEN.......HAPPENSAAAAAAAA!

Whew! This has been an ongoing ordeal with them and it feels SOOOOO good to get it out! Also feels great to read these and realize I'm not the only one with these ridiculous repetative issues - must be universal with children because i SWARE I've found myself thinking MANY of these other mothers' EXACT thoughts WAYYYYYYYY more than once.







:


----------



## CerridwenLorelei

You were NOT raised this way!!!!!!!!!!11
I know what the one doc said about environment can only overcome genetics to a point. BUT GEEZ LOUISE!! You have never met the one you call sperm donor and YOU. ARE. BEHAVING. JUST. LIKE. HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You better get down on the ground and kiss the man you call dad's feet because if it were totally up to me you would be out on your ear faster than Joan Collins dumps young men!!

What you are doing to us is despicable and snotty. AND I AM TIRED OF BITING MY TONGUE

YOU ARE BEING A SELF CENTERED, NARCISSISTIC, THINK ITS ALL ABOUT YOU, RESPONSIBILITY SHIRKING, JACK$$$ WITH THE SMOKING THAT KILLED YOUR GRANDFATHER AND YOU HAVE FREAKING ASTHMA, HARD HEADED SNORKLEWHACKER!
No wait I don't want to insult the snorklewhacker.

YOU CAN"T BE PETER PAN FOREVER

AND DON"T EVEN THINK IT SHUT THE H UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

WHew that felt good


----------



## guestmama9908

Please Please Please stop opening the pantry door and pulling all of the spaghetti out and breaking it! Please stop carrying the broken spaghetti all over the house and leaving it everwhere in your wake. And Please don't pour the oatmeal out all over the floor and then kick it until it goes everwhere anymore!

And PLEASE stop getting all of the silverwear out of the drawer and playing with it. The butter knives and forks are NOT safe toys for a 2 yr old.

How do you do all of this stuff with me one step behind you the whole time! Yeesh!







:


----------



## GradysMom

freaking hilarious









Laughing so hard I'm coughing up a lung here!

Lets see....

OH *PLEASE PLEASE DON"T EMPTY THAT SHELF AGAIN* OH OH *NO DON'T WHINE ABOUT IT.*
NOT MOMMYS COOKBOOK DON'T EAT MOMMYS COOK BOOK.....

NO REALLY YOUR JUST TIRED JUST FALL ASLEEP "OW" NOT MY NECK *STOP PINCHING* YOUR TIRED REALLY TRUST ME GO TO SLEEP.... 15 mins later sound alseep...







:


----------



## FLmom_3

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WitchyMama2* 
YES! PLEASE STOP! I am so sick and tired of putting on your shoes over and over and over and over again. When we go to the store that is only 5 freakin minutes away, WHY must you take off your shoes even for that????









: AND then SCREAM AT ME the REST of the 4 minutes of the trip because I can't reach it in the floorboard and put it right back on BECAUSE I'M DRIVING!!!!!! If you DIDN'T want the shoe off, then ya know what?....... how about you STOP TAKING THE D*** THING OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAA!

and for PETE'S SAKE! You'd think (and I thought) the DVD for the car would be SUCH A GREAT THING FOR ME .........NOT SO MUCH! Do you 3 girls have to find EVERY ATTEMPT I MAKE to get a little piece and RUIN IT by FIGHTING!!!! You don't wanna watch what the 3 yr old does on the car's DVD, so I bought the extra portable DVD(with 2 screens even - ONE FOR EACH!) just for you 2 older girls - I know you don't wanna watch Dora all the freakin time but you SHOULD NOT HAVE STEPPED ALL OVER THE PORTABLE DVD AND TAKEN THE SCREENS OFF THE SEAT AND STEPPED ON THEM AND BROKE IT - OH YEA..... AND, AGAIN, LEFT YOUR MCDONALD'S CUP TO LEAK ALL OVER IT!!!!!! FOR GOODNESS SAKE YOU ARE 8 AND 11 ......... YOU SHOULD REALIZE BY NOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF THINGS! are you KIDDING ME!?!?! No you DID NOT just ask when we are going to Wal-mart to get a new one!!!!! AAAAAAAAARERRRRRRRRRRRRRRHEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGG GGGG!


----------



## Logan's mommy

STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH!!! COUCHES ARE FOR SITTING!!! LEAVE THE DOG ALONE SHE'S GOING TO BITE YOU!!!! STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH, QUIT RUNNING THROUGH THE HOUSE!! But I'm being superman. YOU CAN BE SUPERMAN IN YOUR ROOM, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE A ROOM!! LEAVE THE DOG ALONE!!! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN, IT'S NOT A PLAYROOM AND WE'RE COOKING DINNER!!!
I feel a bit better now. I may have to do this every night


----------



## Aletheia

So I just wrote a post asking for help with my temper... and then found this one. I am so going to yell at this thread tomorrow... if I can stop laughing from reading it.

This thread had to be resurrected!


----------



## Sophienaz

For the love of god, stop freaking shouting, is it not possible for you to communicate without freaking shouting??? You just woke up your brother, and it took me an hour to put him down. Please please i beg of you, have mercy, i look and smell like sh*t, i just want to read you the freakin story and put you to bed so i can have a wash becuase i'm so filthy i no longer think your dad is attracted to me and i have one hour before he comes home, so plesae please plesae freakin cooperate so that i can stop smelling like a yak on heat and sort myself out before daddy comes home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Mimi

my name is not mummydaddy. stop calling me that. it's not my name. i'm mama.
not mum or mummydaddy.


----------



## KurumiSophia

For the love of God, PLEASE stop banging on the bedroom door. Daddy works nights and CANNOT get up right now. We CANNOT wake daddy. What part of that do you not understand? How many times have I redirected you? Too many. Every freaking day.

ugh.


----------



## Murihiku

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aletheia* 
So I just wrote a post asking for help with my temper... and then found this one. I am so going to yell at this thread tomorrow... if I can stop laughing from reading it.

This thread had to be resurrected!

Thank you! What a delightful find!

And mine is:

Would you _please_. Stop. TALKING!


----------



## novaxmomof2

Please stop taking toys from your brother! Please don't hit your brother! Please don't be mean to your brother! Please be nice to your brother! We don't hit in this family! Please share with your brother! Please stop pushing your brother! For the 10,000th time please be nice to your brother!

I feel better already lol!


----------



## lolar2

This is hilarious! I felt like yelling at DS earlier today but I don't remember what exactly it was about, so I can't post it. I'm sure I will back soon enough!


----------



## Storm Bride

YES - you do have to go to swimming. Unlock my bedroom door and stop getting into my earrings, and come and put on your boots NOW! WE HAVE TO LEAVE - NOW!! Your lessons starts in 5 minutes....LET'S GO!!! I DON'T care if you think you won't like the new instructor...you didn't like Tommy, either, and now you want Nina to be him...until today, now you want Nina back, because you don't like the temp you HAVEN'T EVEN MET!! WE HAVE TO GO NOW!! COME HERE!! ARRGGH!

(He had a blast at the swimming pool, even though we were late.)

NO - you can't go out to the playground in your diaper!! ARE YOU INSANE? Come back here!!!! WAIT!!

Come back here!! That train is part of the Christmas display - it's not a toy! COME BACK! ACK! You turned it on! OMG - YOU ALMOST HIT THAT POOR WOMAN WITH THE TRAIN!!! COME BACK HERE *NOW*!!! I don't care if you're excited - you can spend the rest of the day in your room while I make the turkey - no, no, no - no more freaking fruit!!! STOP RUNNING INTO ME WHEN I'M STANDING AT THE STOVE!!! GO TO YOUR ROOM! STAY!!!!

That felt good. DS2 has been...a little hard to deal with today. Did anyone notice a theme there? ("Come back here" - I'm so tired of "come back here" - that kid has bolted soooo many times today.)


----------



## ~Boudicca~

GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR GODSAKE I AM FREAKING DONE PARENTING FOR THE DAY!

#$^$#$%%^^$^)(**&&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!\\


----------



## ~Boudicca~

And to dd2: SOMETIMES I WANT TO TAKE OUT A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU. I DO NOT GET A BREAK. SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE A FUNGUS THAT IS GROWING ON ME, TARGETING MY BREASTS AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY. CAN MOMMY HAVE HER BOOBIES BACK FOR TONIGHT AND YOU JUST SLEEP SOUNDLY WITHOUT NEEDING SOME "MMMM?"


----------



## Murihiku

Sweetie, do you need to go pee?

I think you do.

But you're jiggling all over the place.

Go pee. Now.

Okay, it's your body.

GO PEE!

NO, YOUR PEE DID NOT CHANGE ITS MIND. IT HAS NO MIND!

GET OFF MY LAP--ARE YOU KIDDING ME? STOP WRIGGLING. GERROF!

TYCHO BRACHE *DIED* FROM NOT PEEING. YOU'RE GOING TO DO YOURSELF KIDNEY DAMAGE.

STOP JIGGLING AROUND AND GO PEE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. YOU'RE FIVE YEARS OLD!

You won't miss anything--I'm just cooking and planning my next post to mdc.

STOP JIGGLING!!! I CAN'T STAND THE AGONY!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST GO PEE! AAAARRGH!


----------



## turnipmama

FOR GOD SAKES LET ME PUT YOU DOWN FOR 5 MINUTES SO I CAN GO TO THE FREAKING BATHROOM!!!!

aaah....that felt good....


----------



## lolar2

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Murihiku* 
Sweetie, do you need to go pee?

I think you do.

But you're jiggling all over the place.

Go pee. Now.

Okay, it's your body.

GO PEE!

NO, YOUR PEE DID NOT CHANGE ITS MIND. IT HAS NO MIND!

GET OFF MY LAP--ARE YOU KIDDING ME? STOP WRIGGLING. GERROF!

TYCHO BRACHE *DIED* FROM NOT PEEING. YOU'RE GOING TO DO YOURSELF KIDNEY DAMAGE.

STOP JIGGLING AROUND AND GO PEE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. YOU'RE FIVE YEARS OLD!

You won't miss anything--I'm just cooking and planning my next post to mdc.

STOP JIGGLING!!! I CAN'T STAND THE AGONY!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST GO PEE! AAAARRGH!

This is very very very common but everyone outgrows it by age 7 from what I've seen. So I promise she'll pee within two years.









Now onto mine....


----------



## lolar2

Stop fussing to be picked up! When you don't take a nap, my body has no chance to recover from carrying you around! I am in excruciating pain from keeping you from killing yourself for two days, and the advil I took may as well be a placebo! I CANNOT PICK YOU UP!


----------



## MichaelsSahm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Murihiku* 
Sweetie, do you need to go pee?

I think you do.

But you're jiggling all over the place.

Go pee. Now.

Okay, it's your body.

GO PEE!

NO, YOUR PEE DID NOT CHANGE ITS MIND. IT HAS NO MIND!

GET OFF MY LAP--ARE YOU KIDDING ME? STOP WRIGGLING. GERROF!

TYCHO BRACHE *DIED* FROM NOT PEEING. YOU'RE GOING TO DO YOURSELF KIDNEY DAMAGE.

STOP JIGGLING AROUND AND GO PEE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. YOU'RE FIVE YEARS OLD!

You won't miss anything--I'm just cooking and planning my next post to mdc.

STOP JIGGLING!!! I CAN'T STAND THE AGONY!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST GO PEE! AAAARRGH!

OH I am happy I am not alone. My DS just turned 6 and still does this. So I have one more yr of this? groooooooooovy! LOL!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MichaelsSahm

Its not funny to make jokes about poop for the tenth time.
It is not funny to tell me that you had a pizza with peanut butter and toenails for the tenth time.

Why can't you just go pee when you need to go. I promise the trains won't go chugging off, they will still be here on the train table.

I love you, but please wipe your hiney when you go poo. Its not that hard, i am sure the trains can wait for that too.


----------



## jenners26

Oh, I SO need this tonight!
DS1:
GO UPSTAIRS! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FIVE YEAR OLDS WOULD LLLOOOVVVEEE TO HAVE AN ENTIRE FLOOR OF THE HOUSE TO THEMSELVES, COMPLETE WITH A DVD PLAYER, THOMAS TOYS, XBOX, ETC.?!?!?!?!?!? GO UPSTAIRS!! MOMMY NEEDS SOME PEACE AND QUIET!!

BABIES:
GO TO BED!! STAY THERE!!! SLEEP ALL NIGHT!!! MOMMY HASN'T SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT IN NEARLY THREE YEARS AND I AM FREAKIN' TIRED!!! AND STOP SMEARING APPLESAUCE IN YOUR HAIR! I AM TIRED OF BATHING YOU THREE TIMES A FREAKIN' DAY!!
AAAAGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

DH:
YOU HAVE A FREAKING SCRATCHY THROAT! YOU ARE NOT DYING!!! SHUT UP AND GET UP AND DO THE DISHES!!!!!!!!!

Thanks ladies! I feel better!


----------



## Dmitrizmom

If you can't say anything nice and won't stop whining will you please just shut the FRACK UP.


----------



## MichaelsSahm

Oh and by the way! Stepping on blocks fricken hurts!!!!


----------



## allgirls

just want to go to sleep. Please stop having naps at 5pm


----------



## Night_Nurse

AHHHHHH! Go to sleep already!!!!! It's 11pm and I've been waiting for 2 hours for you to go to sleep! I've been waiting WEEKS to have sex w/ your dad and I can't do this till you go-to-sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Aliviasmom

I should NOT have to empty the vacuum canister 5 times in one day and still not be done!

You need NOOOOOO toys, books, clothes, etc!!! You can't even take care of the ones you HAVE! I'm sick and TIRED of having to wash toys and toy dishes!! I don't know WHY I'm even spending money on birthday and Christmas gifts!

I love you to DEATH, but seriously! YOU like to be alone when YOU poop! SO DO I!!! I do NOT want you playing games, I don't want to read you books or sing songs while I am trying to empty my bowels! I just want peace and quiet! I will be done sooo much sooner if you just LEAVE!


----------



## Breeder

First off I absolutely love that this thread keeps coming back, started in 2004 and I think it's been back at least once a year since. And for me it's right on time this time:

to the big 'un: STOP running around your brother while wearing your boots! STOP RUNNING! You could HURT him! Please don't ask me that question again! I ANSWERED YOU THREE TIMES ALREADY! THE ANSWER remains the same! Don't ask again! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE! JUST BE QUIET!!!!!

to the little guy: Can't you just sleep for long enough for me to take a shower and dry off and get dressed? Do you purposefully wait until I am naked, soaking wet and covered in soap to scream as if you are on fire?!!! ARGH, can I just sleep all for more than one hour at a time?! PLEASE???

To the husband: DO you REALIZE I just got the baby to sleep? DO you think you could not flop down on the bed like you haven't an iota of grace in your body? Everytime you flop down or speak above a whisper, I AM OBLIGED TO NURSE on my side for another 30 MINUTES! I just want to lay on my back for HEAVEN'S SAKE MAN!


----------



## Jannah6

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


----------



## hipumpkins

No No No No NO we ARE NOT going now..Stop rolling on the floor pitching a fit . We are not going!!!!
SHUT UP already!!!!!!!!


----------



## Aletheia

love this:

Quote:

DH:
YOU HAVE A FREAKING SCRATCHY THROAT! YOU ARE NOT DYING!!! SHUT UP AND GET UP AND DO THE DISHES!!!!!!!!!

mine lately:
TAKE THOSE RADISH SEEDS OUT OF YOUR NOSE FOR GOD'S SAKE!

YOU MAY NOT RIDE THE KITTY!

PUT SOME UNDIES ON BEFORE YOU SIT ON YOUR FATHER'S HEAD!

IF YOU ARE SO SCARED OF THE HUMIDIFIER HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO DUMP THE WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR?


----------



## Treasuremapper

Do we get to yell at husbands and inlaws in this thread, too, or just kids? My kids have been fabulous. But I have a lot to say to dh...


----------



## jjawm

Puhleeeese stop the fricking whining already! STOP! My brain cannot handle every single thing in a whine.

And can you say something other than No for a change? No? I figured.


----------



## Kay11

STOP crying, STOP screaming, STOP whining and moaning and complaining and &£$%( STOP FIGHTING ALL THE &£%$& TIME!!!

OMG, it actually works and I do actually feel better.


----------



## CatherineEL

Ok, I'm game:

ds: Joosh, joosh.
me: ok, honey, I'll get you some juice, just a minute
ds: JOOOOOSH! Jooosh, joosh, joosh - JOOOOOOOOOOOSH! (accompanied by writhing on the floor or running around like a crazy person)
me: well, that's just annoying. how about you say please?
ds: JOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!! JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: Oh, THAT's nice! What am I your freaking SERVANT NOW??? You little POOP! Who do you think you ARE??? I take care of you EVERY DAY, CLEAN up after you hourly, clean your little TOOSHIE, WASH all your poopy clothes, MAKE your meals (and make sure they TASTE YUMMY), do EVERYTHING FOR YOU and I can't get a crapping PLEASE FROM YOU?!?!?!?! G*DAMMIT!!!!GREAT!!!! THAT'S IT!!!!! I'M OOOOOVER THIS MOM S*#T!!!!!!!!!

Or how about this one:

me: P, don't touch the stove. Babe, that's hot, don't TOUCH! When I get my arms out of this animal carcass you are going for TIME OUT! IF I TOLD YOU ONE TIME I TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES THE FREAKING OVEN IS HOT AND YOU WILL HURT YOUR TINY HANDS FOR CHRISSAKE WILL YOU JUST STOP BEFORE YOU GET HURT WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME WHEN I'M OBVIOUSLY THE SMART ONE HERE???!!!!

Ha! I feel better! Thanks!

K







: wife to S







lovin our baby P







:







03/29/07


----------



## elisent

Ds10: Stop hurting your sisters!!! I know you are off your meds because of your stupid doctor but you cannot hurt people!!! And stop destroying your room! It took you weeks to build your lego ship and when you get your concerta back next week you will be really sad you threw it against the wall!

Dd7: Stop sticking your nose in everyone's business!

Dd4: Why oh why did you cover all of my earrings with fingernail polish? They are ruined!!! They were extremely special to me! Why did you smash my new lipstick i bought to replace the old one you lost? Do you think i am made of money? Why did you put mashed potatoes in the heating vent? I do not have time to deal with that! Now it is hard like cement! Another thing ruined! Everything is ruined!!!

Ds1: Please stop crying! I cannot nurse you constantly! My boobs really hurt now because you will not stop nursing! And why can't you sleep without nursing? I spend hours trying to lay you down so i can clean! Everyone is destroying everything because i am stuck holding you!

Dh: You are the real reason i am upset! You make me in a bad mood for my children! Why did you have to be so mean that i had to kick you out! I just want to be a normal happy family with a normal clean house and normal children who listen and a normal husband who is not always drunk! Instead I have to deal with all this while I am sick and have a cold and a fever and feel like death warmed over!


----------



## chamomeleon

STOP WIPING BOOGERS ALL OVER MY HOUSE!!!!!! There's a freakin' box of kleenex in nearly every room by now, you know where they are and what they're for. USE THEM!!!!!

Ahem.


----------



## blizzard_babe

NO! STOP GRINDING YOUR FREAKIN' TEETH! Aside from the obvious damage it could cause to your brand-spankin-new choppers, the sound it produces makes me want to vomit!

And...

THAT IS MY FREAKIN' NIPPLE! NO! IT IS NOT A PLATFORM ON WHICH YOU CAN TEST OUT YOUR NEWFOUND BITING ABILITIES!

And...

NO! THAT IS THE DOG'S WATER! You have a whole room full of things you CAN play with. I cannot deprive the dog of water, nor can I move it to somewhere you don't have access to, because then the dog wouldn't have access to it. How about you just leave that ONE thing alone?! JUST DON'T TOUCH IT!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls* 














just want to go to sleep. Please stop having naps at 5pm


Did you hear that, Sophia?


----------



## *green*faery*

Thanks. I need this.
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*WILL YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*JUST LET ME CHANGE YOUR DIAPER...WHAT?...NO!?...THEN USE THE DAMN TOILET!
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
RESPOND TO ME!!!!! CAN YOU HERE ME?????
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!
*
LEAVE THE POOR KITTIES ALONE, QUIT TEASING THE DOG, WILL YOU JUST EAT THE SAME DAMN FOOD WE EAT???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
oh, and one more thing-

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
*

thank you


----------



## russsk

Stop effing pinching me and leave my other nipple alone!! And if you bite me we are done nursing - you can't do both!! Get it? Oh yeah, STOP PINCHING ME!!!


----------



## Treasuremapper

Stop making "experiments" all over the house! You are throwing your interesting orange juice and graham cracker mush on the kitchen floor while I am scrubbing the soap off the mirror, on your way to finding out if glitter glue will stay in the carpet!!! All on purpose! You are the light of my life -- let's stop these unilateral experiments so we can go on to something fun! AAAGGGGHHHH -- no, stop throwing needles and pins in the carpet! Stop making the forks stand up on their ends in the carpet. Look -- just forget we have carpet in that room, go to the rest of the house with hardwood floors. NO -- WE CANNOT GO GET ICE CREAM!!! MOMMY IS ON HER HANDS AND KNEES HUNTING FOR NEEDLES WITH A MAGNET!!!

Actually, writing this makes me realize I need to change our homeschool schedule. Most naughtiness occurs on Monday - my all day house cleaning day to catch up from the weekend, and we are overscheduled Tuesday through Friday. I'm going to move some stuff from one of the other days so our kids can go have some fun on Monday.


----------



## abomgardner417

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YOU! CAN'T! HAVE! MORE! MILK! YOU'VE! HAD! THREE! FULL! CUPS! SO QUIT WAVING YOUR EFFING CUP IN MY FACE AND LET ME TYPE THIS FREAKIN SENTENCE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Thank you whoever revived this thread!


----------



## laralee16

QUIT putting cds in the computer, you are gonna break it, and it is brand new.

And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just leave G alone. I know he is a brat, and I know you don't like him, but just leave him alone! He is always gonna be a brat, and You cant be friends with brats. Im sorry love but thats just the way it is.


----------



## lovesprout

Do you understand what your little brother and friends mean when they say, "Leave me alone. Stop teasing me. I feel sad when you call me names?". It means STOP!!! Stop the teasing! Your a loving beautiful boy. Why are you behaving like this? It's hard to be a happy well-adjusted mama when I spend so much of the time mending hurt feelings and/or yelling to be heard! Please, please, please...I'm so tired of the teasing & whining!!! AHHH!!!


----------



## Danielsmom

Will you boys stop fighting over the same matchbox car. We have about 300 other cars so why do you need the same one?!

STOP. SITTING. ON. THE. DOG.

DO I LOOK HAPPY? LOOK AT MY FACE.

YOU CANNOT FLY YOUR REMOTE CONTROL AIRPLANE IN THE HOUSE! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE GAVE IT TO YOU FOR CHRISTMAS WHEN IT SAYS FOR 8 AND OVER AND YOU ARE NOT 8! YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS CAUGHT IN THE PROPELLOR. WHAT A LOVELY GIFT.

STOP CHEWING ON YOUR TOENAILS!!!!

Ooh I forgot one thing.

I.AM.ON.THE.PHONE. Stop screaming when I am on the phone. Stop killing your brother when I am on the phone. CAN I PLEASE HAVE ONE CONVERSATION ON THE PHONE WITHOUT HEARING SCREAMS. I'm not even talking to a friend; I'm making essential, boring phone calls. AND YOU ALL START SCREAMING!

To the dogs: can you please stop using the carpet as toilet paper.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by **green*faery** 
DIAPER...WHAT?...NO!?...THEN USE THE DAMN TOILET!

LEAVE THE POOR KITTIES ALONE, QUIT TEASING THE DOG, WILL YOU JUST EAT THE SAME DAMN FOOD WE EAT???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mystiquesmom

Stop whining!!!! We have yogurt at home, there is no reason to go to the store at all!!!!!!!!!!! It's cold outside and we have everything we need here!!!!!!!


----------



## apple_juice

Quote:


Originally Posted by *russsk* 
And if you bite me we are done nursing - !

I want to threaten this all the time. But here we are still happily nursing.

Oh yeah.

"stop picking the keys off the computer! and please for my sanity please STOP DUMPING OUT THE CAT'S WATER!!!!! Mommy is going to die that's right die if she has to clean up the water again."

Feeling better yay!


----------



## lafemmedesfemmes

FER







'S SAKE-- ALL I WANT TO DO IS SIT AND KNIT FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES AT A TIME WITHOUT SOMEONE CRAWLING UP IN MY LAP OR YELLING FOR ME! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE SAME







PAIR OF LONGIES SINCE *OCTOBER*!! MOMMY SITTING ON THE COUCH DOES *NOT* AUTOMATICALLY MEAN THE BREASTAURANT IS OPEN, NOR IS IT A SIGNAL FOR AN IMMEDIATE DOGPILE SESSION!!! WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE, I'M AWAKE, AND WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP, I'M TOO







TIRED TO EVEN *LOOK* AT THE STUPID YARN BAG. *PLEASE GIVE ME SOME SPACE!!!!*

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!*

also,

CAN I *PLEASE* WATCH A MOVIE IN PEACE WITHOUT HAVING TO PUT A NIPPLE IN SOMEONE'S MOUTH SO I CAN HEAR THE







DIALOGUE?! WHAT'S THE







POINT OF PAYING FOR NETFLIX IF IT TAKES ME WEEKS AT A TIME TO WATCH A DVD? WHEN YOU'RE AWAKE, YOU'RE RAISING HELL, AND WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP I'M TOO TIRED TO WATCH MORE THAN 15 MINUTES BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP!

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!*

thank you.

christina


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lafemmedesfemmes* 
BREASTAURANT











I am so going to use that term


----------



## lafemmedesfemmes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 









I am so going to use that term









i wish i could claim it, but i can't. i really like it, too, though. 

christina


----------



## JamesMama

James- Must you talk CONSTANTLY? And why when I say NO must you ask the same freaking question over and over and over and over and over screaming MAMA!!! MAMA!!!! MAMA!!!!! and tugging on my shirt or sticking your hands up my shirt to rub my back? The answer is NO. Period end of discussion. Secondly, when you say you're hungry I cannot blink my eyes and POOF food. Really, I wish I could, but I need at LEAST 2 minutes to fix something. PLEASE don't sit there and SCREAM "I'm HUNGRY!!! I'M HUNGRY!!!!!!!! MAMA!!!!!! MAMA!!!!!!!!! MAMA!!!!!!!!" All that is NOT going to make anything happen any quicker. Third, there is not a monster in your room. If you do not want your sister to wreck your Hotwheels City I suggest you play in your room. I will NOT lock her in her high chair just so you can play in peace. Go in the bedroom, I'll put up the baby gate and she won't bother you. You CANNOT hit her or scream at her or scream at me because she's playing with your toys when you're playing with them IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM! You go interrupt her games if SHE is playing in the living room. Turnaround is fair play my dear.

Aldria, You do NOT need to have my boob in your mouth every second of every day when I'm home, really you don't. And QUIT hitting my glasses off my face!! 1) it hurts and 2) I cannot afford to replace my glasses and I need them to see 5 inches in front of my face. Quit pulling James' hair. PLEASE. It hurts him, and it's not very nice. DO NOT lay on the cat! You WILL get scratched. You just will and I won't feel the least bit sorry for you.


----------



## ramama

DD2, rabbit turds are apparently EXACTLY 8mm in diameter, BUT THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM ONE OF YOUR BEADS!!! Look before you pick them up and STOP SPILLING YOUR FREAKIN' BOWL OF BEADS IN THE FIRST PLACE! I mean, REALLY? AGAIN?? And why can't you be a normal child and not play with beads (I mean, "baby food")?? Ever heard of blocks, or crayons, or trains?

And please, rabbits, stop kicking your turds all over the living room over night. I don't appreciate a mine field of turds greeting me first thing in the morning.

And DD2, please stop asking me to sit down just so you can sit on my lap and FART ON ME!! I don't know why I found it funny that one time, but now I'm really getting PI$$ED OFF!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramama* 
And DD2, please stop asking me to sit down just so you can sit on my lap and FART ON ME!! I don't know why I found it funny that one time, but now I'm really getting PI$$ED OFF!

laughup


----------



## J's Mombee

Here is my yell for the day:

DS: "Mom, I want to pick me up" <--- yes, it sounds like he wants to pick himself up.

My response that I can only share here:

GO AHEAD, PICK YOURSELF UP!!!!! I AM TIRED, YOU WEIGH MORE THAN 30 LBS, I CAN'T CARRY THE GROCERIES, YOUR CAR TOY, AND YOU INTO THE HOUSE. SINCE YOU ARE SO GUNG HO ABOUT PICKING 'YOU' UP, CAN YOU PICK 'ME' UP WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


----------



## 2pinks

STOP THROWING THAT!!!!!! STOP HITTING MOMMY/DADDY/SISSY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (said as our glasses (we all wear glasses) are being SLAPPED off our faces!!!!!!) QUIT PUTTING STUFF IN YOUR MOUTH! COME HERE! WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!!! I SAID COME HERE!!!!!!!! DEAR G-D IN HEAVEN I'M FIXING TO SCREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much better. Now I can continue to use my gentle mommy voice.


----------



## readytobedone

please, please, oh god please, STOP THE INFERNAL WHINING. JUST FOR ONE DAY! AND FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT "TEETEE" MEANS. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT IT MEANS KITTY, SIT, BOOK, COOKIE, AND ALSO: "I WANT SOMETHING BUT HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S YOUR FAULT, MOMMY, THAT I DON'T HAVE IT"









AND I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL B*TCH SAYING THIS, BUT PLEASE CAN YOU PLEEEASE LEARN TO TALK MORE CLEARLY SO I KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SAYING??

AND STOP THROWING TANTRUMS WHILE MOMMY IS CARRYING YOU DOWN THE STAIRS. WE ARE BOTH GOING TO FALL AND BREAK OUR NECKS IF YOU DON'T QUIT DOING THIS! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, IF YOU GET STUCK TRYING TO CRAWL UNDER A CHAIR, DON'T KEEP DOING IT! AND STOP SAYING "UPPY" ALL THE TIME!! SOMETIMES THINGS JUST DON'T COME OFF/GO UP/GO DOWN/DO WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO. I SWEAR, YOU WANT YOUR TOYS TO DO THINGS THAT DEFY PHYSICS!!!!

ALSO SOMETIMES MOMMY JUST WANTS TO SIT DOWN!!!!!! SO STOP "UPPY"ING ME AND STOP HITTING ME WHEN I DON'T DO WHAT YOU WANT. I AM NOT A WIND-UP TOY!!!!

ALSO IF YOU ASK FOR A BANANA OR A PIECE OF STRING CHEESE, AND I OPEN IT, THEN EAT THE G*DDAMN THING! I AM TIRED OF FINDING HALF-ROTTEN BANANA PIECES AND DESICCATED CHEESE ALL OVER THE TABLES/COUNTERS/FLOOR BECAUSE YOU DECIDE YOU DON'T WANT WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SAID YOU DO WANT!!!!





























:


----------



## Theoretica

I just hafta say I'm reading these laughing my head off...not AT any of you mamas, but just at how much I identify with these posts!!

Thanks for helping me feel NORMAL!!!

(((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

to you all!!!


----------



## JamesMama

Number 2-

DS, As much as mama wishes she did, Mama does NOT control the universe. I cannot make that song you like come back on the radio, I cannot make Bob the Builder start over, I cannot make your airplanes fly, I cannot make your 2 legged dinosaur stand on carpet. I do not control the television, radio or gravity. It'd be cool if I did, but I don't.

No, you will NOT get a toy every time we set foot in Walmart. You just had Christmas where you got a freaking TON of toys...and your birthday is coming up in 3 weeks where you'll get another TON of toys...


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *readytobedone* 
CAN YOU PLEEEASE LEARN TO TALK MORE CLEARLY SO I KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SAYING??

IF YOU ASK FOR A BANANA OR A PIECE OF STRING CHEESE, AND I OPEN IT, THEN EAT THE G*DDAMN THING! I AM TIRED OF FINDING HALF-ROTTEN BANANA PIECES AND DESICCATED CHEESE ALL OVER THE TABLES/COUNTERS/FLOOR BECAUSE YOU DECIDE YOU DON'T WANT WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SAID YOU DO WANT!!!!





























:
























: I'm quite certain I've stated these phrases (maybe not exactly word for word) to my 3.5 year old at some point in time.


----------



## ~girlsmum~

LOVE this thread, haven't read all the posts but "SO HELP ME, I WISH YOU TWO WOULD STOP JUMPING IN YOUR ALREADY HALF BROKEN CRIBS. I'M SURE EVERYONE IN OUR TOWNHOUSE BLOCK CAN HEAR YOU AND IT'S VERY ANNOYING TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO. D'YA THINK YOU COULD GIVE IT A REST FOR A DAY OR TWO AND LET US SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT INSTEAD OF PILE DRIVING YOUR CRIBS STARTING AT 3 IN THE MORNING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Yeah that does feel better!


----------



## luv2bmommy2*2

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just give me 5 sec to THINK. I know you love to TALK TALK TALK and I know that when you were 21/2 I took you to a speech therapist because you weren't talking and now that you are 4 you are a better talker than anyone I know and I should be grateful and proud but I DON"T KNOW all the answers to your QUESTIONS and NO LITTLE GIRL WE ARE NOT GOING TO GOOGLE ALL YOUR QUESTIONS on the computer and when you tell me "mommy you are welcome for helping you clean up" after I have asked you five zillion times to pick up your DAMN PLASTIC TALKING TOYS THAT THE MIL GOT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS THAT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP MY HAIR OUT OF MY HEAD EVERYTIME I HEAR THE GODAWFUL NOISE it makes me want to run away. I HATE CHRISTMAS is that wrong???? I HATE TOYS-YES I AM THE GRINCH. If I here one more Ruby and Max episode I may just throw up. OH AND STOP STOP STOP FOR THE MILLIONTH GAZILLIONTH TIME STOP CHEWING ON YOUR SLEEVES. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT INFURIATES ME TO SEE YOU CHEWING ON YOUR BRAND NEW CLOTHES THAT I BOUGHT YOU. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH
AND TO THE LITTLE 18 mo old. I don't want to nurse you right now-not every five minutes. I know you aren't eating any food and you REFUSE every freakin thing I try to feed you but NO you are NOT going to NURSE ALL DAY. I AM NOT AN OPEN BAR. EAT your &^*[email protected]#!!! FOOD I MADE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP FRICKIN RUNNING AWAY WHEN YOU HAVE A DIRTY DIAPER-I DON'T WANT YOU GET A RASH OR get SH*T ALL OVER MY HOUSE.
TO THEM BOTH: STOP TOUCHING EACH OTHER, DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER, STOP JUMPING OFF OF THINGS YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT, NO CANDY-WHO THE HELL GIVES LITTLE KIDS CANDY IN THE CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS---STUPID F*&&& PEOPLE.
To the husband: Don't even think I am on vacation since nursing school is out right now. THIS IS NOT A VACATION. I AM NOT HERE TO CATER TO YOUR EVERY NEED JUST BECAUSE I DON'T NEED TO STUDY RIGHT NOW. I am not built to be a housewife. If there is no dinner made because I had an exhausting day MAKE YOURSELF SOMETHING and hey here is a novel idea- make me something too. PICK UP YOUR FREAKIN HUGE A** SHOES AND STINKY SOCKS I am NOT THE MAID nor am I YOUR MOTHER. I am the MOTHER TO YOUR TWO LITTLE MONSTERS.
MANTRA TO SELF: I will rise above, I will not lose my mind, I will survive


----------



## BekahMomToOliver

Last night:
Im tired. You should be tired. You are clearly not.
When we're lying in bed at 11:30 pm and I'm clearly trying to get you to sleep, please refrain from climbing on me. Do not pull my water glass off the headboard and dump it on my pillow. NO, I DO NOT WANT YOU TO LIFT UP MY TOP AND BUMP YOUR HEAD REPEATEDLY OFF THE REMNANTS OF MY BABY BELLY, MAKING LOUD 'WHUMPH WHUMPH WHUMPH' NOISES WHILE DROOLING PROFUSELY AND LAUGHING! This is not only very rude, it's hardly conducive to my resting. Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to SLEEEEEEEP!

Today:
Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down.
PLEASE DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT!
You whine to be picked up, then headbutt me in the face because you want down. Over and over and over again.


----------



## lafemmedesfemmes

DAMMIT! STOP! PULLING! YOUR BROTHER'S! HAIR! JUST *STOP IT!*

i'm about ready to get some scissors and finish the job he started a month ago! jeez!

christina


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## Mimi

stop shoo-ing the dog, cats are not for eating, no, george does not want to eat the wooden carrot. i said no. oh great, he's upset now, just what we need! that's enough now! ENOUGH! stop. no, the dog doesn't want the carrot either!
no more juice! no! that's your Omas silly idea, i never gave you any juice, you can drink the apple tea. & no, no tv! mind your head, you'll hurt it when you throw yourself back like that! oh what did i say.you alright? no, you still can't watch tv. MIND YOUR HEAD! STOP THROWING YOUR HEAD BACK LIKE THAT !
STOP THROWING CHEESE! NO, STOP PEEING ON THE FLOOR! NO, it is NOT a muddy puddle, it is PEE!

(i think i have got a toddler from hell.)


----------



## Mimi

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BekahMomToOliver* 
You whine to be picked up, then headbutt me in the face because you want down. Over and over and over again.










yes. yes. yes.
i am so happy right now.
not because you get headbutt-ed in the face, but
because i am not the only one this happens to!
<3
i am with you mama,


----------



## Mimi

Stop putting stickers on the baby!
No!
Stop it!
Aaaaaah!


----------



## Cekimon

i could have used this thread a few weeks ago when i was really losing it!!: )
Now I just feel like yelling at DH : ) Is there a thread for that


----------



## paisleypoet

PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN AND STOP CUTTING EVERYTHING !!!
DRAW ON PAPER ONLY!!!!
PULL YOUR PANTS BACK UP, WE DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR BUTT TEN TIMES A DAY!!!!

STOP SAYING PENIS!!!!

And what I really want to yell but don't...

OH MY GOD YOU JUST ATE TEN F-ING MINUTES AGO!!!! I AM SICK OF GETTING YOU FOOD!!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET OFF ME!!! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!

STOP TALKING I CAN'T TAKE THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE ANY MORE TODAY!!!

Thanks...that was cathartic.


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## N8'sMom

*geez louise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop playing with my laptop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not a toy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## iamleabee

Go. To. Bed.


----------



## groovynaturemama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *readytobedone* 
ALSO IF YOU ASK FOR A BANANA OR A PIECE OF STRING CHEESE, AND I OPEN IT, THEN EAT THE G*DDAMN THING! I AM TIRED OF FINDING HALF-ROTTEN BANANA PIECES AND DESICCATED CHEESE ALL OVER THE TABLES/COUNTERS/FLOOR BECAUSE YOU DECIDE YOU DON'T WANT WHAT YOU HAVE JUST SAID YOU DO WANT!!!!

are you sure that wasn't my dd over at your house doing this?


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## philomom

To the 12 year old......

could we go back to Thumper's rule?

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Your constant negativity is wearing on me. Your life is pretty good. Trust me.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Stay the hell out of the goddamn pantry and stop dumping pancake mix on the floor!


----------



## Storm Bride

STOP!! You canNOT have food in the living room. We've lived here for 3.5 years, and YOU'VE NEVER been allowed to have food in the living room. NOTHING has changed!!

STOP!! PEEING ON THE LIVING ROOM CARPET IS NOT OKAY - NOT OKAY. I can't stand it anymore. Stop peeing on the carpet!! I don't care how cute you look while you're doing it and I don't care if you grin at me - IT'S NOT OKAY TO PEE ON THE CARPET!!!

YOU DON'T _HAVE_ TO WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS WET AND SOAPY TO ASK FOR SOMETHING TO EAT. YOU REALLY DON'T!! You had an hour - I asked if you were hungry. I offered you stuff. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL MY HANDS ARE WET AND SOAPY TO DECIDE YOU'RE HUNGRY????

DO YOU WANT TO GO? YES? THEN *COME HERE AND LET ME PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!!!* We can't go until you're dressed, and we should have left already. COME HERE!!! ARRRRGH!!

Yes, sweetie, that's nice - but I'm trying to read to your freaking sister and I have to start freaking supper in 5 minutes - I should have started it 10 minutes ago. SHUT UP and let me finish this f***ing chapter. JUST STOP TALKING AND LET ME FINISH.

DS2 is really stressing me out lately...


----------



## Mimi

no, you can NOT put the baby in a box & play special delivery!


----------



## EyesOfTheWorld

Look, I get it that we don't turn on a DVD except for the rare kids' movie, but when mama decides I'm going to work out, LET ME. For %$*#'s sake, this is not torture. If you don't like it, leave the freaking room and go play or read. Don't CRY and GRAB MY LEGS!!! I'm asking for 20 minutes to be active while we're trapped inside!







:

And if I say we need to go to the market today, do NOT whine and cry because you wanted to stay home all day. You want eggs, we need to go. And they're only open limited hours in the winter, so if we don't go today no eggs until Tuesday. So just get dressed and come with me because sometimes we just have things that we need to do. I get that your ideal day would be puzzles and coloring all. day. long. and that sounds good to me too, but yeah, food. I'm sick of doing this EVERYTIME we need to leave the house! Wanting to have food in the house is a totally unreasonable request.









Oh, and older daughter - stop trying to read over my shoulder!! Can I not have 3 minutes of privacy?!









Thank you, this is the best thread ever. Now I can take a deep breath and go back with a bit more patience.


----------



## EmilyVorpe

No more tv...one show a day! that's it! I don't care what your grandma says, what I say is what goes! No, no junk food--NO POPTARTS--no SODA--stop yelling at me, I know you're tired! why dont you take a nap!?

*at Macys* Stop running, stop talking about your bum, don't pull down your pants in the middle of the store, don't try to crawl under the stalls while I'm naked, don't yell, no you can't buy a bra (you're 4 and a BOY), no that's not a bathing suit, no I'm not having another baby, yes my tummy really looks like a zebra! QUIET PLEASE! STOP TALKING FOR 30 SECONDS PLEASE!


----------



## mamadukes

Just go to sleep. Just go to sleep. Go to sleep already!!!!! Stop touching my other nipple - stop nursing, there's no more milk. No, you can't "try." lie down. Ssssshhhhhhh. Go to sleep, please, please, please, please!!!
*just go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*


----------



## anyalily

Go to sleep, please! Stop calling to me, stop waking up every 45 minutes. Finish teething already so we can go back to sleep!


----------



## pomplemoose

Its sunday morning im trying to read the paper, you're 7 years old I AM NOT MAKING BREAKFAST TODAY. you know how to get cereal you know how to make toast DO THAT. or better yet go ask your father. its my ONE day off work. I dont want to make breakfast today so stop asking, i meant NO the first 9 times i said it.

and leave the dog alone, he wasn't doing anything wrong. how would you like it if someone yelled at you every time you came into a room.you wouldnt? than dont do it to the poor puppy. yes i understand you want me to make breakfast but its just not going to happen today.


----------



## journeymom

Oh my word, this thread is almost FIVE YEARS OLD.

Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop. Talking. Stoptalkingstoptalkingstoptalking. Please, my head is going to explode.


----------



## mamabearsoblessed

stop picking up the baby. stop touching the baby. she doesn't want you to touch her.
please give my freaking linen closet a freaking break~ you are 8 and 5!!! please for the sake of all that is green... STOP DUMPING< SPREADING AND RUINIUNG FIOLDED LAUNDRY AND ORGANIZED SPACES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please stop tattling

I love you.


----------



## mamakah

STOP MAKING MY EARS BLEED WITH THAT &%$^*$# SCREAM!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ONE PEEP FROM YOU UNLESS ITS LAUGHTER TODAY. STOP WHINING,STOP SCREAMING. I DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP BECAUSE OF YOU LAST NIGHT, AND IF YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THAT I AM GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS TODAY YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!!!!!!
oooo wow. I might have to post on here a few times a day...


----------



## mamakah

...I forgot...for DH:
TURN OFF THAT VIDEO GAME! YOU ARE A GROWN MAN WITH A BABY CRAWLING ON THE GROUND. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR GUITAR HERO WHILE THE BABY IS SCREAMING OVER IT. NO I DIDN'T PLAN ANYTHING FOR DINNER...DID YOU?!?!?!?! WHY DID YOU LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A GARBAGE CAN IS??????? ...DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!


----------



## oliversmum2000

agggghhhhh

why, why, did you just have to throw your whole breakfast across the kitchen and then just sit and sing to your self, i am so bloody cross. i would have let you look at the magazine after you had eaten and was trying to prevent it getting covered in porridge.

and why did you and your brother have to climb in to bed with me this morning and decided to squabble and fight for the next half an hour while mummy who was lying minding her own business just got caught in the crossfire - its NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!


----------



## ginadc

To DD:

For the love of god please let me talk on the phone to ONE person for ONE minute without screaming "I wanna talk! I wanna talk!" Your day care buddy's mom might actually be willing to talk to you but the mortgage company person is NOT.

Stop whining "I wanna get OOOOWWWWTTTT!!!" the second we get in the car! Oh, you want to get out? Right here in the middle of this intersection? Great, fine, figure out how you're going to get home then.

Could we for once get out of the house in the morning without eight thousand battles over brushing your hair, putting your clothes on, brushing your teeth, putting your coat on, etc.? "No, my baby sleeping" is not a valid response to "It's time to go to school!"

STOP doing gymnastic stunts on your kitchen counter chair! You know how to sit the right way. SIT ON YOUR BOTTOM OR YOUR KNEES!!! WHAT DID MOMMY JUST SAY? STOP sticking your leg through the chair back! WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL?!!

To DS:

I love you. I adore you. You are so cute and cuddly and I love how you need me so much. BUT IF YOU DON'T STOP CRAWLING AFTER ME AND SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS EVERY TIME I MOVE TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU, AND CLIMBING UP MY BACK WHILE CLUTCHING AT ME AND WEEPING IN DESPAIR EVERY TIME I'M NOT 100% FOCUSED ON YOU, I THINK MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE!!!


----------



## CaraboosMama

Are you going to cooperate on any issue today? Anything? Or are we going to continue this "Do and say the opposite of whatver you are asked to do?" So far, you threw a tantrum so huge that you did not stay at school, rubbed dirt all over yourself in the Target parking lot, threw a fork at me when it wasn't the one you wanted, pushed your brother down because he turned around to look at you...is this an early taste of PMS? I know we are still working on the Feingold thing and that you ate something last night that affected your sleep. I know that's the main reason for the craziness....but boy am I glad for this thread because now I am starting to see the humor in it


----------



## ZanZansMommy

To DS3: I have told you 900 times there is no more Pirate booty. I am no longer buying it b/c you cannot control yourself. What you say you want bagels? NOOOOOOOOOO. You have to eat something other than pirate booty & bagels. I'M so sick of this. So much food is being wasted b/c you refuse to try anything.ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. Just freakin' try something new & No there isn't any pirate booty.


----------



## lil_miss_understood

I'm subbing so I can find this when I *need* to. I'm so glad someone started this thread.


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## Organicavocado

Can you please unlatch so I can get up and eat something? It's 2:30pm. I'd like to eat something. Really, you don't need my boob while you are asleep. You don't have to freak out when I sneak away. I really dnt get how you can be asleep, and also have a deathgrip on my chest. You are drawing blood. Cut that out!


----------



## mamabearsoblessed

stop sneaking food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## MimiB

Get dressed, get dressed, get dressed!!!! OH FOR **$&&$&$&'s SAKE - GET OVER HERE AND LET'S PUT YOUR **#()#)*&#(&#ING COAT AND BOOTS ON...N.O.W!!!! WE HAVE TO LEAVE *NOW**!!

STOP SQUIRMING FOR 5 SECONDS AND I CAN GET THIS DIAPER ON AND WE CAN BOTH BE DONE WITH IT.

ARRGHH

STOP WHINING! STOP WHINING!!!

ARRGGHHH


----------



## J's Mombee

Just because I feel sick, and I feel like I might have the flu, doesn't mean that you have to start faking it so that you don't have to night parent DS!

(Back story, I don't feel so great, DS isn't feeling so great, DH sleeps down stairs so that he doesn't have to catch what we have <-- whenever DS wakes up, I have to wake up with him = no rest to help me feel better. DH gets a great night's sleep, and DS is doing a little better. I feel like I am hanging on for dear life).

DH! STOP BEING SO SELFISH! STOP MAKING UP STUFF AND SAYING YOU DON'T FEEL WELL, YOU JUST GOT FINISHED DANCING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM AND PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES!

Now, I am going back to sleep


----------



## rachelsmama

For the hundredth time today, NO I WON'T PLAY SNOW WHITE WITH YOU!!!!! Asking again and again is NOT going to make me change my mind!!!!!!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Sophia, why the hell are you so violent? Why do you think that flailing your arms at me smacking whatever part of my body is closest to you (whether it be boobs or face) is going to make me say yes?


----------



## lil_miss_understood

To DH:
How about YOU change the toddler's stinky a$$ed diaper since YOU are the one who insists on paying no attention to what YOU feed him and then wonder why his a$$ is red, he won't sleep, he's crying and generally foul.


----------



## ThreeJane

/rant on I am 35 weeks pregnant so this will be long, hopefully someone will laugh.









DS10, I know your life and thoughts and ideas are endlessly fascinating to you but I can't sit staring at your face all day and answer every little question and thought that flows into your head and out of your mouth! Wait, why the hell aren't you doing your schoolwork?

Yes, I know how many bones there are in the human body and you told me that yesterday! That was from a lesson six weeks ago! Why aren't you doing TODAY'S lesson! Why are you looking back in your Science book when you're supposed to be doing Math? What do you mean you don't remember what nine plus four equals? You're ten years old, please don't play stupid with me as I am not in the mood!

Stop acting like you are the King Of Northern Idaho and Quite Possibly The World! If your sisters are humming or talking or playing a game, it is NOT within your wherewithal to demand instant silence because they are "annoying"! No, I am not going to call your friends and ask them to take you snowboarding - as tempting as that may be - you have to be invited. I'm sorry I'm pregnant and can't snowboard this year.

And what is it with those kids anyway?! They treat you like crap, say they'll call and they never do, with all the boys it's like freaking Lord of The Flies over there! Why do you always want to spend time with people who are unsupervised and treat you like shit?

Quit asking your sister to play XBox "with" you and then beat her in every game and crow about it. Yes, you're bitchin', you're 10 years old and can be a 5 y.o. in XBox games. Does everything have to be a competition with you? No one cares if you ate your food faster or peed faster in the bathroom! Knock it off! The world is not a race!

DD5, the world does not revolve around you. I am not your mindless automaton for you to point your finger at and bark commands toward. I have a life and a brain and sometimes I just want you out of my face! Figure out something to do and stop acting like I'm the be-all and the end-all when it comes to your personal entertainment! And don't hassle your sister because I won't stop drop and roll to keep you entertained.

Stop hoarding every.little.tiny.thing you've ever gotten in your life in your room! Stop hoarding gum wrappers and paper and trashy little toys and restaurant menus that are half-colored! Every time I buy you some little tchotke, it gets crammed into one of your purses and jammed into your little toy hutch! Do you even know what you have in there? No? Good, then you won't miss it when I decide to go through and throw out half of it while you're sleeping!

DD3, for the love of God, will you please.stop.eating all the time. Stop asking me for snacks all day and then refusing to eat meals because you're stuffing yourself on snacks! Stop sneaking bananas and apples off the table.

Quit picking up the dog! She's a dog not a baby and she can walk all by herself. That and she's probably sick of you picking her up constantly. No wonder the dog falls right to sleep as soon as you guys are in bed, you never give her a chance to relax!

Stop staring off into space! You're a space cadet, everything has to be told to you twice, and even then you don't do what you're supposed to! Quit whining! She said she was sorry AND she gave you a hug, I'm not going to spank her because she bumped into you accidentally! If you step on the cat, you're going to get scratched and I won't feel sorry for you! Stop WRITING on yourself with markers! What is that?!

Okay, I could go on and on. Thank you for the rant space!


----------



## 2pinks

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeJane* 
/DS10, I know your life and thoughts and ideas are endlessly fascinating to you but I can't sit staring at your face all day and answer every little question and thought that flows into your head and out of your mouth! Wait, why the hell aren't you doing your schoolwork?

Yes, I know how many bones there are in the human body and you told me that yesterday! That was from a lesson six weeks ago! Why aren't you doing TODAY'S lesson! Why are you looking back in your Science book when you're supposed to be doing Math? What do you mean you don't remember what nine plus four equals? You're ten years old, please don't play stupid with me as I am not in the mood!

I know EXACTLY what you're going through. My dd is 9 (almost 10) and we go through this every.single.night. It gets old after about 10 seconds.

You are SOOOOOOOO not alone!!!


----------



## smibbo

for cryin out loud you can't POSSIBLY still be hungry! I get queasy just _thinking_ of all the food you have crammed down your gullet in the last four hours. Holy smokes you ought to be waddling by now. NO, I do NOT want to nurse you again!

And while we're at it, when you are choking, SOP is NOT to cram the food farther down your throat. SOP is me reaching in and fishing out whatever is blocking your breathing hole. So how about you learn a lesson already and CHEW EACH BITE before you get another one!? You have a whole mouthful of teeth, USE THEM!!!


----------



## smibbo

oh and PLEASE stop licking your dolls. It really skeeves me out!


----------



## OGirlieMama

To my husband (at whom I may or may not have already yelled) - For the thousandth time, it's common courtesy to call if you're going to be late. Especially when you made a big deal today about being psyched that the kids took a nap so they will actually be awake when you get home to see them. Except now you're not going to see them and I'm going to be stuck dealing with them for the next 90 minutes or so of screaming, ranting, refusing to brush their teeth, fidgeting, making excuses, begging for random things, etc. Could you have at least called me at 6:30 when you figured this out, rather than letting me go until 7:30, when I thought I only had 45 minutes left to hold out?

To my girls:

Could you just stop fighting me on ONE of these items? Put on your jammies OR brush your teeth without screaming and hysterically crying and forcing me to pull out negotiation skills not seen since the Geneva Convention? Stop maniacally laughing at me and then running away screaming every time I approach you with a diaper, jammies, or toothbrush. You're making me freaking crazy!!!!!


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OGirlieMama* 

To my girls:

Could you just stop fighting me on ONE of these items? Put on your jammies OR brush your teeth without screaming and hysterically crying and forcing me to pull out negotiation skills not seen since the Geneva Convention? Stop maniacally laughing at me and then running away screaming every time I approach you with a diaper, jammies, or toothbrush. You're making me freaking crazy!!!!!


UGh, the bedtime battles. They go on for at least an hour for us. They cooperate to the extent that Abigail gathers which books she wants me to read, Sophia follows her into the bedroom. That part is good. Then there is the nonstop jumping on the bed by Sophia, I get a diaper on her in what I would describe a wrestling match in which she frequently wins (she's so dang tiny, how can she be so strong?). So, diaper on, Abigail in bed, Sophia LITERALLY bouncing off the walls. Seriously, for a half hour to an hour, Sophia jumps off the bed and bounces off the walls, rolls, flips, and otherwise is in constant acrobatic motion. So, I'm reading to Abigail and Sophia turns on the clock radio, and the fan, and is dancing while singing into the fan, so Abigail leaps out of bed and joins her, then they both rip off the diapers and toss them in the air while squealing. Repeat.


----------



## OGirlieMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
UGh, the bedtime battles. They go on for at least an hour for us. They cooperate to the extent that Abigail gathers which books she wants me to read, Sophia follows her into the bedroom. That part is good. Then there is the nonstop jumping on the bed by Sophia, I get a diaper on her in what I would describe a wrestling match in which she frequently wins (she's so dang tiny, how can she be so strong?). So, diaper on, Abigail in bed, Sophia LITERALLY bouncing off the walls. Seriously, for a half hour to an hour, Sophia jumps off the bed and bounces off the walls, rolls, flips, and otherwise is in constant acrobatic motion. So, I'm reading to Abigail and Sophia turns on the clock radio, and the fan, and is dancing while singing into the fan, so Abigail leaps out of bed and joins her, then they both rip off the diapers and toss them in the air while squealing. Repeat.

Well, I am sure this is a nightmare for you (I know it is, because it sounds so very similar to my house except they both need diapers) but it makes me feel better to know someone else's children are equally psychotic at bedtime!

I went back in there and Lilly uncharacteristically agreed to have her jammies put on. Then I tried 20 times to get Kate's on and left, telling her "You tell me when you're ready to put on jammies." She probably actually will. I hope.


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie

Dear sweet son,

If you want to watch the damn video, keep the damn thing ON!!!!!! Mama is very sick right now, and just CAN'T nurse you non-stop and read you a million books and play games with you, and throw you around the living room like we normally do. Please, please, enjoy the stupid video that I feel horribly for giving you in the first place and let me nap on the cough. PLEASE.....


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OGirlieMama* 
.....except they both need diapers) but it makes me feel better to know someone else's children are equally psychotic at bedtime!


Well, both mine need diapers, but Sophia is the only one who turns diapering into a wrestling match. I don't do the pajamas. They prefer sleeping nude, just as they prefer living nude all day long.

I was actually giggling as I typed out what they do. I'm often giggling when it's happening, unless I'm completely exhausted that evening. I don't know when we ever get to sleep, all of us, prior to midnight. And then, Sophia has to nurse .... both sides... for about another half hour, even if she just nursed prior to entering the bedroom. :eyeroll


----------



## Cathi

Oh my wonderful children, I love you so much it breaks my heart. But right now your infantile screaming is about to break my eardrums! YES, I know we are living in one room of our house due to the cold weather and no money to heat an incredibly old house. YES, I realize that being together 24-7 and then some is adding to the stress. But seriously, screaming does not help.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS PURE PLEASE STOP SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!


----------



## OGirlieMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Well, both mine need diapers, but Sophia is the only one who turns diapering into a wrestling match. I don't do the pajamas. They prefer sleeping nude, just as they prefer living nude all day long.

I was actually giggling as I typed out what they do. I'm often giggling when it's happening, unless I'm completely exhausted that evening. I don't know when we ever get to sleep, all of us, prior to midnight. And then, Sophia has to nurse .... both sides... for about another half hour, even if she just nursed prior to entering the bedroom. :eyeroll

Some nights I'm the giggling one, too. Last night I was hungry and tired and cranky, and worst of all, thought I was getting a reprieve from my husband, and had it taken away the last minute! Aaaagh! Eventually, they were both jammied, no one got hurt, I managed not to yell, and they went to sleep, so all's well that ends well.

Regarding them sleeping nude. I've let it go in the summer when it's been really warm, but in the winter I'm afraid to have them get cold. We keep it about 65 at night here and they never actually stay under the covers. But I see you're in Alaska, so I'm curious how that works for you guys. Do you keep your house warmer? Are your kids good at staying under the covers? Do they just not get cold? I wouldn't mind ditching this battle some nights, but even when they just sleep barefoot their little tootsies feel so cold when they show up in our bed at 3am!


----------



## Blu Razzberri

Dear new neighbor, why would you bring your kids here when they're sick?? Now I have one child missing school and throwing up thanks to your lack of consideration. So help you if the baby gets sick too! Grrr.

Also; when you bring your kids to visit, how about NOT letting your 2.5yo run wild through my house?? Sitting on your butt yelling for her to "come here!...J, come here!....J!..." and then going "I don't get why she doesn't listen!?" is SO not what it means to be an involved parent! How about getting up and going to get her? What a novel idea!







Oh yeah, and DS's bedroom door is closed for a reason. Opening it for her so she can go in, make a huge mess and destroy his toys one at a time is not ok with me, and I'm sure if he were here at the time, he'd make a point to tell you it wasn't ok with him either. After all, how would you feel if you came home to find your things destroyed? I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that you wouldn't like it much.

I also want you to know that I think it's disgusting that you shove a bottle of formula in your 7mth old's face and leave her in the middle of the floor to soothe and feed herself.







At least hold, rock and cuddle her!

Oh yeah, and I don't want to hear about how the guy you brought home from the bar this weekend stole a hundred bucks from your wallet. Perhaps you should think twice before allowing a drunk guy you've never met before come into your home. At least you had the good sense to make sure your kids were away for the night, but EWWW that you let him f*@& you in the bed you share with your toddler! I hope for her sake that he didn't get any of his nasties on her pink princess blankie! uke Nice tennis ball-size hickey, by the way. It's not noticeable at all...!

Lastly, I really hate it when you invite yourself (and your kids) to hang out; especially when it's obvious that I'm having quiet time with DP since one child is at school and the other is sleeping (correction: WAS sleeping); and even more especially since I keep strongly hinting that I don't want visitors, and subsequently hinting that you need to _leave_ now. Please don't make me feel like a meanie because I have to tell you straight out! I wish the walls weren't paper-thin here, so I could just pretend I'm not home.


----------



## Organicavocado

K, it is 3 AM. You have never gotten up in the middle of the night to play and be rowdy. I'm glad that you're in a good mood, but I'm not really sure what to do with you right now. Can we go back to bed? Plleeeeeeasssseee?


----------



## lafemmedesfemmes

FOR







'S SAKE, JUST *EAT* IT!

thank you.

christina


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Can you please please please just LEAVE MY FREAKING BOOBS ALONE!!!!!!

They are feeling a little worn out right now.


----------



## everettdaddy

STOP YELLING AT YOUR SISTER!!!
DON'T HIT EVER!!!
STOP RUNNING IN THE HOUSE!!
QUIT WRITING ON THE WALLS!!
STOP IGNORING ME
QUIT GOING TO YOUR MOM WHEN I GIVE YOU AN ANSWER THAT YOU DON'T LIKE!!
I DON'T CARE IF YOU ONLY WANT CERTAIN PEOPLE IN YOUR ROOM. DON'T GO ADVERTISING IT TO THOSE THAT YOU ARE SECLUDING!!
QUIT CLIMBING ON YOUR MOM
START LISTENING TO YOUR MOM
WHEN MOM AND DAD ARE TALKING LEAVE US ALONE
DON'T STAND THERE WITH THE DOOR OPEN
QUIT CARRYING THE PUPPY BY THE NECK
STOP SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHOSE TURN YOU THINK IT SHOULD BE, WE (MOM AND DAD) KNOW WHOS TURN IT IS
NO THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ON THE COMPUTER LONGER THAN YOU HAVE
IF YOU HATE US THAT MUCH, THEN GO AND TELL SOMEONE ELSE... LIKE YOUR TOYS
STOP CLIMBING ON THE BACK OF THE COUCH
YOU DON'T NEED 7 SPOONS TO EAT DINNER
IF YOU ARE POOPY... TELL US
QUIT SPLASHING WATER ALL OVER THE PLACE
DON'T YELL AT THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND YOU
IF YOU WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, THEN QUIT YELLING AT EVERYONE

Wow... I do feel better


----------



## smibbo

*JUST. STOP. WHINING.*

I will give you anything you want if you just. stop. whining.

Scream, cry, howl, whatever, ANYTHING but whining.


----------



## VroomieMama

I'm doing an opposite of frustrated yelling.. I'm going to joyfully yell at my daughter.

Harmony, I'M SO PROUD OF YOUR GOOD BEHAVIORS AND I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!


----------



## lil_miss_understood

Can i *please* just load the dishwasher for once without you "helping me" by unloading it as i go??!!


----------



## Blu Razzberri

Nanny (my grandma); I appreciate that you're minding the boys while I go to the dentist. However, this is not a free pass for you to tell me everything (you think) I'm doing wrong as a parent.


----------



## peachopotamus

STOP PEEING IN YOUR PLAY KITCHEN AND WAGON! THEY ARE NOT POTTIES GO IN THE POTTY IT'S RIGHT THERE!! AND STOP HITTING/BITING/CHOCKING YOUR FATHER AND LAUGHING AT HIM. STOP CLIMBING INTO THE CUPBOARDS AND GETTING FOOD COLORING IN THE CARPET.

i feel better now. my complaints seem small compered to some. this thread is super helpful. Wow!


----------



## Phoebe

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL?????????? I just got the baby to sleep and your ^*&%$#@*$&% yelling woke him up! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually did yell this at my 2 older boys this week. They wake my poor 4 month old sleep deprived baby every day. I am trying not to yell. I went OFF on them and felt terrible. I snapped.
This thread is GREAT!! I am glad to see that other mothers feel like yelling the same things I do. It's not that other moms are superior and don't think these things...they just don't yell them out loud like I did.

Thanks for sharing all of your yells and helping me to vent them elsewhere!


----------



## PiscesMama24

Stop saying "HUH??" Over and Over!


----------



## minxin

If you would just put the scissors back in the craft box when you're done they wouldn't get lost! And then you wouldn't have to ask me where they are eleven million times a day in the whiney voice of doom! I don't know where they are, they aren't my scissors! You've lost the scissors every freaking day for a month! Just put them away! Gaaaaaaah!

Also, STOP PINCHING MY BOOBS! We can hug and snuggle all you want but lay off the boobs please!!!!
Thank you!


----------



## HappilyEvrAfter

O.M.G. I haven't gotten past page 5, Lol., but I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that screams these things in my head. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath IN so these things don't come OUT!

Nothing to rant about right now, but, MAN, I could have used this as a place to put some frustration the other night.

Geesh, it's threaputic to just read, sympathize, and laugh.








:







:







:


----------



## Dr.Worm

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dr.Worm* 
Thanks for this thread! I CAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE STORIES. OK..ONE MORE....ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BEAR AND GIRAFFE AND THEY WERE GOING FOR A WALK..OK THEN THEY WERE AT THE PARK AND THEY WERE ON THE SWINGS..WHY CAN'T YOU JUST MAKE UP THE STINKING STORY IF YOU HATE ALL THE ONES I MAKE? WHY CAN'T WE JUST READ BOOKS ONCE IN A WHILE? IF I WAS SO GREAT AT MAKING UP STORIES I WOULD BE A DAMN CHILDREN'S BOOK AUTHOR AND THEN I'D HAVE SOME STINKING MONEY AND WE COULD MOVE OUT OF THIS FREAKIN HELL HOLE HOUSE THAT YOUR STUPID FATHER IS TOO LAZY TO FIX. NO MORE CAILLOU I CAN'T TAKE THAT WHINING LITTLE FREAK ANYMORE..WHY DON'T HIS PARENTS TELL HIM TO SHUT UP..ROSIE IS MORE MATURE THAN HIM NO MORE PLAYING IN WATER..NO..LEAVE THE CAT ALONE...COME GET CHANGED..NOW..NOT UNDER THE TABLE...BE QUIET..DADDY AND NANA ARE SLEEPING..STTOOOO[PPPPP IIIITTTT

LOL....Caillou...so glad I don't have to watch him..now it's Bolt all the time but at least I LIKE that one..he doesn't whine except for when he doesn't want Penny to leave.


----------



## Love_My_Bubba

I SO needed this today.

TO DH: LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! I am so f-ing tired of telling you the same thing over and over. If you can't use a big boy glass and be responsible for it so that I no longer have to steam clean red wine out of my carpet and worry about water damage on my table use a friggin sippy cup. We have 50 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and polish the table after you spill red wine on it, a wet washrag is not an acceptable way to clean a wooden table. If I am folding a load of laundry and you are watching tv or surfing on the computer, yes, I would like your help without asking you for it. You get to do your yardwork in peace, take your licks and act like a big boy. I REALLY need you to take DS completely off of my hands so I can do my indoor chores. Every time DS undoes my housework I'm going to go dump a bag of the leaves that you just raked in peace back on the lawn.

To DS: LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so tired of you ignoring me that I want to completely lose it. Stay out of the fridge, I will get you food if you want it. Stop pushing kids at school, you know it's wrong yet you continue to do it. Screaming at momma is NOT acceptable just because you don't like the answer I give you. You WILL start eating a real meal for dinner. I am done with the snacking all the way home from daycare and refusing to eat a meal when we get home.

Wow, I needed that, fell a TON better.


----------



## Miss Information

Boy, I wish I knew about this thread 3 years ago. I could have used the support. I was a yeller. I sent my middle daughter away from me into time-out because I also couldn't understand her over the top meltdowns on a daily basis. I was a highly sensitive mom raising an extremely highly sensitive daughter. The yelling, the pushing away, only made things worse. I wondered if I caused her selective mutism because I just.couldn't.fix things for her (but sensory issues played a lot into it too).

It took me a long time that, for her, the key to better behavior was keeping her close and not pushing her away, of learning all about who she was and how she coped with the world (not very well, I must say). It took me a long time to look at the child beneath the behavior and see what she was really hurting about and to teach her better ways to cope.

I found some wonderful insight at a recent blog carnival about Play. One of the articles was about the benefits of one-on-one time. I can not stress enough how most behavior problems will begin to evaporate when fully engaged for 15-20 minutes a day with each child. No distractions, complete undivided attention.

If you want to read more, it's in this post
http://growinginpeace.wordpress.com/...vioral-issues/

I still have guilt, I still have bad days with her (though not as bad as it used to be). But it's getting better all the time.

If I can help just one mom avoid what happened with us, I would feel I have been blessed. I don't want anyone to suffer like we did.

I hope this helps someone.


----------



## major_mama11

I'm 9 months pregnant and rather cranky. This thread looks like a good idea...

In no particular order:

No, you can't have juice and ice cream at every meal.
We only let you have the soda and ice cream yesterday because we were trying to keep you quiet in the car dealership so we wouldn't be distracted and conned out of thousands of dollars by the salesman. Seriously. The soda is not an all-day, every-day thing. You have already had 4 cavities. You do not need juice. No, seriously, no juice. You've already been to the dentist 20 times in your short life, don't you remember how much that SUCKED?!!!

No, I don't want to go visit the relatives next door every single night. I love them but sometimes they drive mommy nuts. How about we stay home and act like a normal family now and then?

Oh, and I hope you're not getting used to running around the store like a little wild child. Your daddy will not be coming along to help after we have the new baby, and when it's just you and me, you will have to actually follow rules in the store again like you used to do before I got all huge and tired, instead of running around shrieking and darting in front of people while daddy makes a game out of letting you act like you have no manners.

And one more thing- how about getting tired at night like all the other little kids I know, instead of fighting sleep tooth and nail until midnight every. single. night????

And to DH:

Your computer game is NOT REAL. You don't need to be on the computer 5+ hours a day. The only reason DD watches more movies these days is because I am 9 months pregnant and don't have the energy to entertain her 24/7, now that you hardly ever play with her anymore. DD misses you, and I do too.


----------



## Pernillep

PLEASE SLEEP, STOP HITTING MOMMY, it hurts.
No, don't play wrestling at 4 am in my bed.
If you want Granola you have to sit in your chair. NO, CHAIR NO GRANOLA. STOP WHINING. STOP CLINGING TO MOMMY. I need 5 min to my self.

No I can't carry you around all day. Don't hurt the baby (smacking my belly)
DON'T THROW FOOD, STOP TAKING THINGS OFF THE COUNTER. THIS IS NOT A TOY. BE NICE TO KITTY.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 min WITHOUT WHINING OR SCREAMING. I NEED A BREAK.

(ok that felt better)


----------



## monkeysmommy

to dd, age 7: I AM SO SICK OF SAYING THE SAME FIVE THINGS OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!! FOR THE LAST TIME, OKAY. PUT YOUR KNEES DOWN AND EAT OVER YOUR FREAKIN' BOWL. SIT IN YOUR CHAIR AND STOP BANGING THE CHAIR AGAINST THE DESK AND TANGLING THE HEADPHONE CORD AROUND THE CHAIR SO THAT IT TAKES ME 10 MINUTES TO GET IT LOOSE. LISTEN TO MY WORDS AND STOP IGNORING ME. STOP BANGING THE TOILET SEAT SO THAT IT MAKES EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE JUMP 10 FEET IN THE AIR. AND GET YOUR HAIR OUT. OF. YOUR. MOUUUUUUTH!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you.


----------



## OkiMom

Ughs, after last night I need a thread like this. DD1 is driving me batty.. In no order..

STOP TOUCHING YOUR SISTER.. DON'T HIT IT, SIT ON HER, PICK HER UP ETC. SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT. DON'T TAKE OFF HER DIAPER AND LEAVE HER TO PEE ALL OVER THE BED. DON'T TAKE OFF THE OUTFIT I JUST PUT ON HER BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, CLOTHING IS CLOTHING.
IM NOT CHANGING YOUR OUTFIT FOR THE 50TH TIME TODAY. WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT ALL DAY OTHERWISE IM GOING TO LOSE IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE NAKED ALL THE TIME, PLEASE AT LEAST WEAR UNDERWARE.. STOP TAKING CLOTHING OUT OF THE DRAWERS AND LEAVING IT ON THE FLOOR, IM TIRED OF DOING LAUNDRY.
GIVE ME 2 INCHES PLEASE, STOP HANGING ON ME, CLIMBING ON ME OR OTHERWISE DRIVING ME UP THE WALL. IM GETTING CLAUSTROPHOBIC HERE. LEAVE ME BE FOR A MINUTE PLEASE
STOP MAKING THE ENTIRE HOUSE A COMPLETE MESS. IM TIRED OF PICKING UP AFTER YOU.

And to my DH..
NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE YOUR FRIGGEN WET TOWEL ON THE BACK OF THE CHAIR BEFORE GOING TO WORK IM GOING TO HIT YOU WITH IT. NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE A BLOODY TISSUE ON THE FLOOR IM GOING TO THROW IT AT YOU. NEXT TIME YOU WAKE BOTH THE GIRLS UP BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR KEYS IM STAMPLING THEM TO YOUR HEAD.

Ok, I feel a little better thanks!


----------



## 2pinks

to dd (10)-Girl, I don't know who the hayell you think you're talkin to and who you think you're rolling your eyes at, but, it's not me b/c i am NOT the one! You got that??? Excuse me, did I just see you roll your eyes at me? No? I thought not!

to dd (21mos) stop climbing on everything. stop hitting, biting, scratching and snatching your older sister's glasses off and running when she doesn't do something you want her to do! she's getting REALLY fed up with your crap and so am i. oh, and if you could stop having your tantrums and meltdowns that would help too. thanks.

to dd (2.5mos) take a decent ass nap already!


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## mama_miiteg

DO NOT I MEAN IT DO NOT - DON'T TOUCH MY FREAKING NIPPLES. THEY ARE MINE NOT YOURS AND YOU CANNOT TOUCH THEM. EVER. THEY ARE NOT FOR TOUCHING. EVER. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH!

sigh... love this thread.


----------



## burke-a-bee

To all my kids....I AM NOT A WAITRESS ALL DAY LONG. PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR DRINKS EVERY TWO MINUTES BECAUSE YOU'RE BORED. YOU CAN REACH THE FRIDGE AND THE GLASSES. PLEASE GET IT YOURSELF. OH BY THE WAY ONCE THE MILK IS GONE I AM NOT GOING TO GO TO THE STORE AND BUY A NEW GALLON EVERYDAY..... REMEMBER THAT PLACE WE GO TO...THE PLAYGROUND..THAT IS WHERE I NEED YOU TO DO ALL THIS JUMPING AND RUNNING. NOT IN THIS TINY 31 FOOT RV.
For my oldest.....I KNOW YOU THINK THAT IF I ASK YOU TO BE NICER AND PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS YOU THINK THAT I AM "BLAMING YOU FOR EVERTHING" I AM NOT. PLEASE STOP FALLING BACK ON THAT EXCUSE. SOMETHINGS ARE NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. LIKE THE CHIRO I TRIED TO GO SEE. YES YOU WERE BORED BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU. HELP ME INSTEAD OF BOTHERING YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTER BECAUSE YOU ARE BORED. PLEASE GROW UP A LITTLE.
My middle boy...PLEASE STOP TALKING..IF YOU LISTEN. YOUR QUESTIONS MIGHT BE ANSWERED. NO WE ARE NOT BUYING A CANDYBAR TODAY. I AM NOT BUYING EVERYTHING WHEN WE GO TO THE STORE. PLEASE JUST DO YOUR SCHOOLWORK WITHOUT MAKING ME CRY. WHY DO I HAVE TO SPEND AN HOUR BEGGING YOU TO DO THE WORK THAT YOU CLAIM NOT TO KNOW HOW TO DO BUT WHEN I GET MAD IT TAKES 5 MINUTES FOR YOU TO DO BECAUSE YOU KNEW IT ALL ALONG.
My youngest...PLEASE PLAY JUST PLAY. FIND A TOY AND PLAY.


----------



## JamesMama

Stop picking at that mole on my stomach. It never used to hurt until you turned it into your personal play thing. And biting me when I move your hand away from my mole is not going to win you unlimited nursing time.

And a totally off topic one.

HELLO Puking/diarrhea virus/bacteria....GET THE EFF OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!! I have lysoled every surface, isn't that a hint? We're washing our hands so often mine are bleeding. I've bleached/antibacterialed everything in my home within an inch of its life. I'M SICK OF BEING SICK!!!!!!!!! We cannot go one week without you coming up and taking one of us out. KNOCK IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!! Go away!! You're not wanted here.


----------



## Caneel

To my nearly 3.5 year old, if he moves any slower, will start to walk backwards -

PLEASE PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF ANOTHER AND KEEP MOVING. JUST KEEP MOVING, MOVING, MOVING.

IT SHOULD NOT TAKE 45 MINUTES TO MOVE FROM YOUR BEDROOM, DOWN THE STAIRS AND OUT THE DOOR!!!!!


----------



## Loralz

Darling daughter, if you don't go to sleep soon, momi is not going to be happy. Can you please, please, please go to sleep without a nipple in your mouth? Please? NOW!

All right, I think I'm ready to go back in the bedroom and deal with her again. Thank you.


----------



## GoodNamesGone

Oooh... my turn! Step-Mom yells.

Stop lying to me, you're bad at it. Stop sneeking food- you're bad at that too.







Stop putting your smelly socky feet on everything. Can't you sit like a NORMAL PERSON??? Stop bringing home garbage you find. Stop asking me for hugs ONLY when I'm busy/ my arms are full/ I'm bending over to get something out of the oven / I'm telling you not to do something.

Stop correcting me- you're wrong anyway! No, I really don't care about pokemon/bakugon/whatever fad-thingy you're into. Please stop trying to have a conversation with me in the middle of my conversation with somebody else- I try to talk to you ALL THE TIME- why is it only NOW that you have something to say???

Stop trying to tell other people (especially your mother) what I said- you never remember it right and make me sound oh so dumb/mean/crazy.

No, you cannot have a snack, you just ate!

Stop staring at my chest! Eat your dinner, yes all of it. You liked this last time I served it. No, I want that done now. Hurry up, we're going to be late. No, you can't play that game, it's rated M.

NO ROUGH HOUSING IN THE LIVING ROOM! QUIT BEING A JERK TO YOUR BROTHER!!!!


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## hipumpkins

Please oh please just answer the damn question!!!!


----------



## Black Orchid

STOP POOPING IN YOUR PANTIES AND SMILING AT ME!

STOP STOP STOP!

YOU KNOW WHERE IT GOES AND YOU HOW TO PUT IT THERE!

ITS NOT FUNNY, NOT FUNNY, NOT FUNNY!

[please]


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## kamilla626

STOP WHINING STOP WHINING STOP WHINING.

IT IS NOT MY JOB TO KEEP YOU ENTERTAINED 100% OF THE TIME!!

thanks I needed that.


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## Black Orchid

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OkiMom* 
NEXT TIME YOU WAKE BOTH THE GIRLS UP BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR KEYS IM STAMPLING THEM TO YOUR HEAD.


Favorite.quote.ever!


----------



## oliversmum2000

i love you baby i really, really do, and i dont mind not sleeping well somre nights, but please, please, please stop puking on me and in my bed, please


----------



## philomom

Would it kill you to remember your chores without my nagging? Just once in a while?


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## Dandelionkid

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!


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## sapphire_chan

No matter how much you try spinning that "dial" (my nipple) you won't get a radio station!!!

They both make milk, the left side didn't change flavor in the 3 seconds you were on the right side and the right side didn't change flavor in the 3 seconds you were on the left side!!!

Enough.already.with.the.teeth.grinding. Yes, getting upper teeth *is* a new and interesting sensation, but the noise drives your parents up the wall.

Pleeeeeeaaaaase make your happy excited shriek a half-octave lower. And whhhhyyyyy does it sound just like your upset shriek? While we're driving. No where near a good place to pull over.


----------



## BumkinsMum

Aaaaaaand why did you do that? ............Now?...........
When we're trying togosomewhereandIhavetheotherTHREEKIDSDRESSEDANDRE ADYTOGOINTHEVAN!!! (breath) And where aretheWIPEUPSWHENINEEDTHEM!!!
AHHH!


----------



## AutumnAir

Just go to sleep and stay asleep. There is no reason to keep waking every half hour. You're one and a half - you should be able to sleep better than this by now. Agggghhhhh!


----------



## Theoretica

Dearest DD:

I don't know what it is about you lately but you just do NOT hear me. When I say STOP MOVING so I can get the camera out of your backpack while juggling your sister and the diaperbag and the water bottle please do NOT shrug your shoulders so the backpack plummets to the CONCRETE and then stare at ME LIKE YOU ARE SURPRISED GRAVITY EXISTS!!!!!! And NO we aren't going to buy coke every time we get gas. It's a TREAT. A TREAT means you don't get it EVERY DAMN TIME. And asking how much longer till we get gas again (and again and again and again) doesn't make it go FASTER it makes mommy's ears bleed. STOP IT.

I don't know why Crystal doesn't like crystals. It doesn't make sense to me either. I don't know where the scissors are that YOU LOST a kajillion times this week alone. I am sorry you can't find them but it is NOT THE END OF THE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT. I don't know what it feels like to let a venus flytrap eat your finger. No they don't have it on youtube. I don't give a flying F*(#&$ about all of these and the million OTHER questions you have right now because I have a freaking ear ache and the baby is congested and can't nurse and I'm TIRED because I wanted to take a #)$*(#% NAP while the baby was ASLEEP but I COULDNT BECAUSE YOU KEEP COMING AND ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY LEARN TO GOOGLE DAMNIT!

*sigh*

And bbDD. I adore you. But the peacocks at the zoo, sadly, do not. Chasing after them gleefully and signing 'gentle' like a maniac does not, unfortunately, endear you to their best graces. There is little I can do about this situation for you. Screaming and hurling yourself onto the ground in protest does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to make them come back. It does, however, make my ear hurt more. And it makes me want to leave the zoo. Now.

And that makes your sister cry. Because it's not HER fault and SHE wasn't throwing a fit, nor is she tired, like you.

*sigh*








:


----------



## GirlBoyGirlBoy

no. smearing half a tube of sunscreen on yourself and the front seat is not "that's okay, Mommy"


----------



## Mom'n it

Please please please please DON'T POOP ON THE FLOOR! AND DON'T paint POO with your TOOTHBRUSH!!!!!!! UGH!

Poo in the toilet already! I'm tired of diapers/pull up/undies







You were doing great! Now you're back to pooing on the floor AND OUTSIDE! In the walk way.. It sucks...

Please don't put the snails on your penis. Especially when you're sitting in a pile of dirt and learning to retract your penis... dirty dirty ugh! dirt!!! That took FOR EVER TO CLEAN! Snails are like glue!

Please listen to me. Forever and ever and always. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Pumpkin_Pie

OMG little boy, I have no idea what on earth is going through your head lately, but when you ask mama for a snuggle and then freak out when I put my arm around you and then freak out even harder when I take my arm away when you scream NO SNUGGLES even louder and then even louder scream for SNUGGLES I want to LOSE MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doing this every single freaking morning and having to wake up to a screaming fight with a two year old in my bed is making me absolutely insane. I can't get into your little head, but I wish I could. I can't help you when you "want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it, want it, don't want it".

Also, please, please, please, when mama sits on the floor and you come over and jump on my knees with my legs straight out.... it hurts...









ETA mini-scream/freak out at the cat: Thanks a ton for eating my Mother's Day croissant that I was saving for breakfast this morning.







:


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie

More yelling...

My dear son, YOU ARE DRIVING YOUR MOTHER INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! When I say "Time to brush teeth!" It does not mean "Time to run away from mama screaming NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" like I am trying to pull your teeth out of your head. When you ask for "More yogurt please!" with your nice words, it does not give you permission to sit at the table and fling it around without eating it. When mama says, "Please don't stand on the cubby that I am trying to put together" it doesn't mean "Oh yes, it is actually not only ok to stand on it, but also to slam it down to the floor"

Also, FYI, whining: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAA NNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAA" does not translate into "Other side nay-nay" aka "nurse please mama" when it hits mama's ears. It only translates into more mama frustration.

Please, please, please, I am crying, begging, pleading, willing to do whatever it takes to have a bit better day today than we have had so far since 4:30 this morning when you woke up after 6 hours of sleep. I am ready to have a screaming meltdown/throw you across the room/break big expensive things. None of which I will do, but really, truly, my limit has been reached today and it is only 9:42am.







:







:


----------



## PGNPORTLAND

STOP Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining!


----------



## Qalliope

To my DS: You are awesome and sweet, but you have the absolute worst timing in the universe. Why must you go from playing quietly by yourself to stomping, shouting, smashing things right when your sister is about to go down for her nap? If you stomp into the room and make me have to start the soothing phase all over again one more time, I am going to hogtie you and throw you in a closet. You have approximately 5000 legos. I do not particularly want to find the arm that you should never taken off the guy in the first place. What do you mean that's not the brown arm you wanted?

DD: Pay F#@$%ng attention when you are eating. I can no longer take you kicking me in the face and grinding my nipples into mincemeat. I realize your brother is entertaining, but your latch is terrible when you are distracted, and it is a wee bit uncomfortable to feed you later if you have bitten a big chunk out of my breast.

DH: OMG, quit hiding things I use and pulling random things out of the closet or fridge you think need to be thrown away. THAT IS NOT CLEANING!!! Quit leaving your lunch pail, filled with uneaten food from the day before next to the windowsill where the ants like to come in. THAT IS WHY WE HAVE ANTS IN THE HOUSE! You lose the right to complain if you are the one causing the problem. I guarantee it is that and not the one Cheerio that dd dropped on the floor that I failed to pick up. Finally, if you run out of shampoo, you have to TELL ME if you want me to get more.


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## PlayaMama

*go to sleep! Just be quiet and go to sleep! The boobies hurt because you've been nursing for three hours!!!!!*

okay, i take it back, you've just learned how to thread a bead and you're only 15 months old?!?!? i'm amazed at how cool you are!!! and sure, being up at 3:20 after waking up at 12:45 isn't great, but it's not all that bad.

ps~ please do NOT giggle when i'm trying to get you to sleep. it's really frustrating and annoying.


----------



## welsh

Darling Boy,
I am begging with you to stop biting my nipple. It makes Mummy not want to nurse you ever again. Get it? No more, 'nip'!
You are so mischievious when you do it - slowly, deliberately - and when I scream you throw your head on the pillow and pretend to snore.
Ok, this is funny but I will not laugh at your sick little joke.
You know it hurts Mummy because you hug me and say 'there, there'.
Are you a Sadist? After the 3 rd bite yesterday, it pains me to admit that I wanted to hit you...









When you are tired and fight your nap you are unbearable. Today we had Bella and her Mummy to lunch and you were crazy, running everywhere and throwing your toys. I didn't recognise you. I tried to hold you, talk to you, distract.
I have nothing else. I love you sweet boy but after nearly 2 years of no sleep...Mummy needs a break.
You are the love of my life. The fun, sweet moments cancel out the above


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## crabbyowl

For the love of all that is holy, GO TO SLEEP! You can't even keep your eyes open anymore - STOP KICKING, STOP SQUIRMING, STOP CLAWING AT MY CLOTHES AND MY FACE, BUT ABOVE ALL STOP WAILING AND JUST *RELAX*!


----------



## luv_my_babes

Darling children.... will you please STOP bickering with each other?!?! Also, can you PLEASE refrain from running wildly in the house, throwing toys about and generally creating havoc?? Could you please play quietly... even for a few minutes?? Mummy is tired and grumpy today. Thanks!
Signed,
Mummy


----------



## AFWife

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crabbyowl* 
For the love of all that is holy, GO TO SLEEP! You can't even keep your eyes open anymore - STOP KICKING, STOP SQUIRMING, STOP CLAWING AT MY CLOTHES AND MY FACE, BUT ABOVE ALL STOP WAILING AND JUST *RELAX*!
















I second this motion


----------



## Funny Face

*What I'm thinking*

_WHEN YOU HIT, KICK AND BITE ME YOU ARE TAKING YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS! STOP IT! EVERY INCH OF MY BODY WANTS TO RETALIATE RIGHT NOW! DO YOU GET THAT? ADULTS WANT TO HIT TOO SOMETIMES!!!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE MOUTHY, ABUSIVE 3 YEAR OLDS!!







_

*What I'm saying*
_We do not hit mommy. Hitting hurts. I won't let you hurt me. How 'bout taking your angries out on a pillow? No? We don't bite mommy. I will come back when you can be calm. Let me know if you need help.







_


----------



## patricegonzales

Take a nap! Lay down and close your eyes! Stop hitting me! Stay in the bed with mommy! Please lay down and go to sleep! i have not slept at all and I need a nap! Please be quiet so you dont wake your sister! Great now the babies up and now she needs to nurse and now i cant hold you in the bed and now you are going to run away from me and never take a nap!

Great! Now its 4pm and you are passed out on the floor because you didnt take a nap earlier and we are supposed to be at our appointment at 4:30!

Great!! now its time for bed, but since you had such a late nap you wont go to freakin bed!!!!

I am DONE!!!


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## crabbyowl

OK, when you wake up in the middle of the night and found that you've rolled over but don't want to be on your belly, there is NO NEED to scream and cry about it! I KNOW you can roll yourself back, so THERE IS NO NEED FOR ME TO DO IT FOR YOU!!!!


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## mmenzies

Where are your shoes?!, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES??!!?, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES??!!?, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES??!!?, WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES??!!?, USE THE FRICKIN' SHOE BASKET AND YOU WON'T LOSE THEM A GAZILLION TIMES A DAY!!!!
STOP WHINING, NO MORE WHINING, YOU'RE TEACHING YOUR LITTLE BROTHER HOW TO WHINE, DON'T TAKE THAT FROM THE BABY, DON'T PRY IT FROM HIS HANDS, HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU IF YOU JUST ASK. USE YOUR WORDS, USE YOUR WORDS, DON'T GRAB, DON'T PUSH, DON'T PULL. GET OFF YOUR BROTHER, GET OFF HIS HEAD. NO, WE CAN'T COOK YOUR BROTHER. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP WHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYTHING ISN'T ABOUT YOU!!!! THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, that felt so much better.


----------



## mmenzies

I just couldn't forget hubby:

Hello!!? You sitting on the couch 'thinking'. The baby IS crying, the house is a mess, you r 5yo wants to fly that new kite, the kids are starving, the kitchen is a mess from your wonderful handiwork. NO, do not go to the workshop and tinker! NO, the three other people in this house really do need you to talk to them. HELLO!!??!? Did you hear me? No, you DON'T remember the conversation we had 2 MINUTES AGO!!??? ARE YOU F#*^#($())ING KIDDING ME?! The conversation you actively participated in......you really don't remember WHAT you said!???HELLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Is ANYBODY IN THERE???!! By the way, did I mention the kids are hungry, tired and the baby is crying? Oh, and that I only have 2 hands??!?!?!?!??!?


----------



## mamasneedlove

Holy %##*&@* COW where has this thread been all my life?

Bookmarking..


----------



## Caneel

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Funny Face* 
*What I'm thinking*

_WHEN YOU HIT, KICK AND BITE ME YOU ARE TAKING YOUR LIFE INTO YOUR OWN HANDS! STOP IT! EVERY INCH OF MY BODY WANTS TO RETALIATE RIGHT NOW! DO YOU GET THAT? ADULTS WANT TO HIT TOO SOMETIMES!!!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE MOUTHY, ABUSIVE 3 YEAR OLDS!!







_

*What I'm saying*
_We do not hit mommy. Hitting hurts. I won't let you hurt me. How 'bout taking your angries out on a pillow? No? We don't bite mommy. I will come back when you can be calm. Let me know if you need help.







_










More sympathic I could not be! Boy oh boy do I remember those days!


----------



## Isamama

Boy I wish I knew about this thread after dd was born!! I am sure I have some whoppers, however, I am too tired to write them at the moment.

subbing...


----------



## Hokulele

DON'T

WAKE

THE BABY

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## crabbyowl

STOP GRABBING MY GLASSES! STOP IT! STOP IT! *NOOOOOOOOOOO*, I *NEED* THOSE SO I CAN SEE!!!! GLASSES ARE *NOT* FOR BABIES!!!!







:







:


----------



## PlayaMama

Do not hurt your sister!!!

Do not tell me that you are not hurting her when she is crying and then tell me later that you "helped" her smack her forehead on the ground.

Just do.not.do.it!!!


----------



## mamakah

That scream makes my brain melt and ooze out of my ears!!!!! Stop screaming! Stop whining! You have nothing to whine about! Let me make you lunch without you hanging on my pants and whining! Do not do that scream to get my attention! If you want more then say "more" stooooooppppppp that scream!


----------



## _betsy_

Just friggin' poop on the potty already, would you? Grrrrrrrrr!


----------



## lurve

stop the frickin screaming. and stop turning off the computer. it takes me 100 times longer to do my work if you turn off the frickin computer while i am doing it and i lose all the infomration. and no you can't touch the mouse. or bang on the keyboard. i gave you a real keyboard but nooooo you want mine. you can't have mine. why? because it's mine. mine. mine. mine. mine. mine. mine.
and stop twiddling my nipple.


----------



## Baby Makes 4

(Directed at almost-14 yo DS)

Guess what?! Your life doesn't suck!! You have nice clothes, two parents who love you and food in your belly which is more than I had growing up. On top of that you have almost every electronic toy on the market and bright blue hair! STOP POUTING BECAUSE I MAKE YOU WEAR A BIKE HELMET AND WON'T PAY YOUR CELL PHONE BILL!!!


----------



## Baby Makes 4

(Directed at almost-4 yo DS)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Why did you put one of each pair of shoes you own out with the recycling? NOW YOU HAVE NO SHOES! NO! YOU CAN NOT WEAR MINE!


----------



## mamasneedlove

YOU WOKE UP THE BABY!!!









YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HIT ME EVERY TIME YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY!! YOU ARE 4 YEARS OLD!!! STOP HITTING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!









YES YOU HAVE TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH DO NOT HIT THE DOG YOU CAN NOT EAT ON THE COUCH YOUR LEGOS DO NOT BELONG EMBEDDED IN MY FEET YOU MAY NOT STAND IN FRONT OF THE FRIDGE WITH THE DOOR OPEN ALL DAY DO NOT THROW THOSE ON THE FLOOR I JUST FOLDED THEM!!!

I just want to get the house cleaned. Do you know how long it used to take me to get the "Weekly Home Blessing Hour" done... before you were born? ONE FRIGGIN HOUR! ONE!! It's in the name! NO we cannot go to Grammy and Grampa's! NO! NO! We are going to the store! No we can't go now I am in a sweaty nursing bra and PJs. No, it's not funny that my backpack is so heavy and do not laugh so loud about it ... shit you woke up the baby again!!

Do you know how long it takes me to do the WHBH now? ALL friggin day! ALL DAY!!!!!

There, I feel better. Thanks.


----------



## SpiderMum

Stop rolling away and crying while i try to change your diaper!!!! You didn't like being dirty so i'm trying to fix it!!!! Stop crying at me!!!! You do not have to cling to me every moment!!!!


----------



## PNWmama

Please don't wake your sister up again!!!!!!! I just spent an hour trying to get her to sleep and now you are yelling right next to her!!!! Shut up!!!


----------



## Danesmama

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIGHT OVER EVERY SINGLE TOY IN THE HOUSE! WE HAVE FIVE LIGHT SABERS - YOU MAY NOT ALL FIGHT OVER THE ONE WITH THE FUNNY SCRATCH IN ITS HANDLE!!!!!!!

PLEASE STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER!!!!! (multiply this one by a million)

PLEASE STOP WHINING - YOU MAY NOT WATCH TV ALL DAY. YOU MAY NOT EAT YOUR BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR BREAKFAST. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SHARE. WHINING ABOUT ANYTHING WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE JUST BE QUIET AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## xekomaya

Stop stop stop stop climbing on the bed!!! I will not take you to the er with a broken head, i will not send you home to your mother with lumps and bruises but i am just too tired of fighting you!!you're just too big and heavy to be so stubborn!! Ahhh!!!!

ETA: I typed in all caps but the forum decided I didn't mean it? That's so weird. Just so you know, I was shouting


----------



## Breeder

SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

It is NOT the end of the world if I pee without you!
It is NOT the end of the world if I take a shower!
It is NOT the end of the world if I walk into the next room for FIVE SECONDS!

PLEASE STOP picking up your brother, picking your nose, running in circles, speaking at a high volume and putting compost material in the trash can!!!!!

Whew, I needed that one today.


----------



## teale

For the love of everything that is good in this world, STOP WHINING. PLEASE?! You got up an hour earlier then usual, then proceeded to whine about everything. You whined when I had a shower, you whined when I made you breakfast, you whined when YOU threw your toast on the floor and wanted more.

I'm losing my mind, I'm trying to be reasonable.

It's a way earlier then normal nap for you, and not because I need it, because while I do, you need it so much more.

Please, wake up in a better mood. PLEASE!?


----------



## avaylee

Why can't you just listen to me?? When I ask you to do something like put your shoes on the correct feet, it's not to torture you, it's because I don't want your feet to hurt. Could you please just do something when I ask, instead of ignoring me to the point that I want to scream? I don't ask you to do things just because it sounds like fun, and I almost always give you a reason. Please. Just. LISTEN.

Phew.


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Avery quit peeing on the floor!!


----------



## chamomeleon

STOP ASKING ME TO DO THINGS FOR YOU THAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF!!!! I spent 2/3 of my day planning and driving around town gathering supplies for a project YOU wanted to do, and then you got bored 3 minutes into it. I'M DONE FOR TODAY!! LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!!!


----------



## webjefita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Theoretica* 

I don't know why Crystal doesn't like crystals. It doesn't make sense to me either.









thanks, i so needed that laugh!


----------



## NightOwlwithowlet

need this thread today! I am NOT a bad or Mean mom! You have no idea what bad parents are really like! You are loved, cared for and supported. You are seven yars old, telling you to turn off a video game or get dressed is not MEAN.

PICK UP YOR BLEEPING SHOES! STOP TOUCHINg ME ALL THE TIME! LET ME PEE ALONE! ANSWER THE PHONE! Wait that's what I want to yell at your father too! Just leave me alone for 10 freaking minutes!

And why can a kid who can discuss the difference between a black hole and worm hole, can't find his bleeping shoes? Why can you tell me that the numbers on my bank account are prime numbers in an expanding pattern cannot comprehend that 25 quarters is not 25 dollars and you DON"T have enough money for that freaking transormer toy! Why can you ask questions like why Scooby Doo has enemies, but Harry Potter has a nemesis, but can't remember the word for "stove"? Why is being a mother so hard today? How can be ma at someone that tries so hard every day?


----------



## pomplemoose

Why why does it always have to be about you. Why do you always have to complain throw your clothes all over the floor spill your cereal every day. And expect me to clean it all up. Then then when im in the middle of cleaning up your mess ask me for something. Im still cleaning up your [email protected]#(*%ing mess!!! Does that matter at all to you>???

Quit arguing with eachother, no you dont feel sick you just dont want to eat that your playing a game. Dont "accidentally" feed the dog your food and then ask for dessert. Youre crazy if you think you'll get any dessert now. And its a treat that means not every day. No once and a while does not mean every other day either.

Ugh just go play quietly


----------



## crabbyowl

HOW ON EARTH do you keep pushing a lens out of my glasses, and WHILE I'M WEARING THEM, no less?!?!







How can your little hands generate that kind of force? *I* can't even do that!! More importantly, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH OF A PAIN IT IS FOR ME TO GET IT BACK IN? AND NOW TODAY I CAN'T GET IT, SO WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE A TRIP TO THE GLASSES PLACE AT TARGET SO *THEY* CAN DO IT *FOR* ME, AND ALL BECAUSE YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR HANDS *OFF* MY FREAKING GLASSES!!!!


----------



## crl

DS, you are right. It's not fair. IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I HAVE TAKEN YOU TO THE LIBRARY AND TO THE BEACH--THE ONE YOU LIKE THAT WE HAVE TO GO DOWN 15 MILLION STAIRS TO GET T0--AND NOW YOU CANNOT LET ME SIT ON THE COUCH AND CHECK MY E-MAIL FOR 15 MINUTES.

Oh, and STOP BEING SO FREAKING LOUD. WE HAVE NEIGHBORS. IT IS NOT COOL TO DISTURB THEM ALL THE FREAKING TIME. USE AN INDOOR VOICE. DON'T SCREAM AT ME JUST BECAUSE I ASKED YOU TO PICK UP YOUR TOYS/GET READY FOR SCHOOL/GET READY FOR BED.


----------



## clairon13

ooooh, i love this thread!









to the newborn: quit screaming bloody murder b/cs you're starving; my nipple is in your mouth, just latch already!!! it's right there. i'm squirting milk all over you... can't you just close your mouth for a second??? see? how hard was tha-- ahhhhh, why can't you just stay latched on??? quit sliding down to the tip of my nipple!!! that hurts!

to the two toddlers: can't you see i'm trying to nurse the baby? that means i can't go get the million nonsensical things you want right now! c, i'll change your diaper as soon as a is done. s, i'll get you more juice as soon as a is done. whimper.

to the two adult houseguests: can't you make my life easier by not making me feel like an inadequate hostess? i'm having to feed 3 kids, one of whom won't freaking nurse, and no i do not want a bottle, and i also have to feed you two and it just would be very helpful if you could make your own sandwich for lunch. and stop cleaning after me. i realize you think you're helping but it's stressin gme out. i have a newborn for pete's sake. it's okay if a dish sits on the counter for a minute!


----------



## Centura

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lafemmedesfemmes* 
FOR







'S SAKE, JUST *EAT* IT!

thank you.

christina

LMAO, you nailed it...

I just found this thread and its just so hilarious, and so comforting, that I am NOT a freak of nature that gets completely freaking angry about things... I seriously had this picture of all other moms being saints, and me being an evil witch in disguise...

My contribution for today...

DD3, can you just PLEASE put down whatever it is I am asking you to PUT DOWN and NOT just stand there staring at me stomping your feet yelling NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DD4, I have told you five hundred times at least, DO-NOT-TOUCH-MY-COMPUTER

DS, 10months... Honey, I know that tooth is taking FOREVER to come up, but PLEASE, screaming EEEE-EEEEE-EEEEE-EEEE for 5 hours is NOT gonna make it happen faster! And NO, I can NOT make your ears stop producing wax that makes it feel bad









DH, I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! JUST SELL THE DAMN TRUCK AND GET A REGULAR JOB ALREADY. I didnt sign up to be a single mom


----------



## mouthcave

to the two year old- stop saying "can't" and "don't" in regards to EVERYTHING! stop trying to light saber the cats!! why can't you sleep longer than two hours anymore?! NO, honestly i do NOT want to nurse you right now! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE! AAAAGHHH do not pinch my nipple!!! don't even touch it! nooo i can tell what you are doing by "accidentally" rubbing your arm ON MY NIPPLE! leave the poor thing alone! also, don't tell your brother to shut up! where did you even hear that?!?!
to the newborn- shut up!







i cannot figure you out! why do you cry so much and so hard? why doesn't my boob fix it?! i don't feel like i have enough time to figure you out so just STOP ALREADY

whew


----------



## violafemme

DO NOT GARGLE THE BATH WATER
DO NOT POOP IN THE BATH WATER, I JUST FREAKIN CLEANED THE TUB
DO NOT PUT YOUR BATH TOYS IN THE TOILET OR THE ENTIRE ROLL OF TOILET PAPER IN THE TOILET JUST POOP IN THE TOILET, NOT ON THE RUG, NOT IN THE KITCHEN NOT IN THE TUB, IN THE GORAMM TOILET!!!!!!!

DO NOT SCRATCH ME WHILE I AM NURSING YOU, OR PINCH ME OR KICK ME OR ATTEMPT DOWN WARD FACING DOG WITH MY NIPPLE STILL IN YOUR MOUTH.

DO NOT SMACK YOUR BROTHER IN THE HEAD WITH THE DOOR IT MAKES ME WANT TO SMACK YOU IN THE HEAD WITH THE DOOR IT MAKES ME WANT TO SMACK ME IN THE HEAD WITH THE DOOR

JUST GIVE ME 10 MINUTES ...... YOU BOTH DO NOT NEED TO SIT ON TOP OF ME AT EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY, SERIOUSLY I'D LIKE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM BY MYSELF ........ DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO BE IN MY LAP NOW????

thank you


----------



## SarahAbt

Please stop yelling for me, i'm right here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im not deaf, mommy's right here, so stop yelling for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just cleaned your room and now its destroyed why do you do this to me......keep your diaper on............don't pee on the ground!!!!!!! Use your toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!no you can not wipe my butt, stop trying to wipe my butt.............yes you just went pee pee....dont touch it...........dont touch me now


----------



## Anandamama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahAbt* 
Please stop yelling for me, i'm right here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im not deaf, mommy's right here, so stop yelling for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just cleaned your room and now its destroyed why do you do this to me......keep your diaper on............don't pee on the ground!!!!!!! Use your toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!no you can not wipe my butt, stop trying to wipe my butt.............yes you just went pee pee....dont touch it...........dont touch me now


Ha, this is hilarious! I love it that this is your first post ever on MDC!


----------



## ABmom

Here's mine for today:

To dd (5yr): EAT FASTER PLEASE!!!!!
To ds (2yr): GET YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR DIAPER!
To dh: WILL YOU LOOK AFTER THEM? I"LL BE BACK IN 30 MIN (or maybe not) under my breath as I set out.

Thank you


----------



## philomom

To my teenage son.... no I am not a "control freak" for wanting to know where you are at all times. It's my job to know!


----------



## lilli'smom

DD#1- AHHH, You are almost 16. Stop whining, STFU! The little ones are 3 and 6. The want to play with you. They love you. If you don't want them in your stuff...put it away! And I swear, If I hear you yell at your gramma 1. more. time! Stop being disrespectful! I know she is a shrew, but she is an elderly woman that has give you more than I could for several years. I don't like her, but *I* still show her respect!

DS#2- you are 6. congrats, you can now be responsible for some things! PICK UP YOUR TOYS! I will not stop and get you a glass of water when you have a cup of water RIGHT THERE!!! Get off the floor, tantrums do nothing for the situation! Do you feel well? why has your behavior regressed? I can't take it!

DD#2- my baby girl, you are on my last nerve...bubba and sissy frayed the rest. Calm down, stop running, stop climbing everything. And stop hitting daddy in the balls...I know the sound he makes is funny, but that REALLY hurts him!

DS#1- Step away from the computer games and do things with your mom once and a while! I have 4 kids, not 3. I want you to be a part of this family. It hurts my feelings that you won't come stay with us some.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilli'smom* 

DD#2- my baby girl, you are on my last nerve...bubba and sissy frayed the rest. Calm down, stop running, stop climbing everything. And stop hitting daddy in the balls...I know the sound he makes is funny, but that REALLY hurts him!









:

Abigail still thinks hurting daddy so me makes those funny noises is the best thing ever and she's four now.


----------



## Belia

Why do you have to take the shortest nap in history on the day that we have your one-year portraits scheduled???? You are going to be a BEAR in 4 hours.... when our appointment is.

1:20 is usually a perfect time for you to be out-and-about.... why do you need to screw with your schedule TODAY?

DAMMIT now I'm going to have to try and reschedule.

WHY WON'T YOU STAY ASLEEP?

And where the hell did you find that sample of Balmex? AND WHY ARE YOU EATING IT?????







:


----------



## jewelsJZ

GET AWAY FROM THE BABY!!!! Stop screaming in his face. I don't care if he thinks it's funny, you're going to cause him to have hearing loss and you are driving me crazy!
Stop SCREAMING. Just talk in a normal voice.
(and while we were in the pet supply store) STOP BANGING ON THE GLASS WHERE THE BIRDS/FISH/REPTILES ARE HOUSED. HOW MANY TIMES IN 5 YEARS HAVE I HAD TO TELL YOU THAT THEY DO NOT LIKE IT???!!!
Stop saying poop. stop saying poop. we're trying to eat lunch. those are potty words, go into the bathroom if you must say them, the rest of us would like to eat lunch.
Go find something to do and leave your sister alone! For the millionth time, stop taunting her. here are three choices. pick one. pick one now or i'll pick it for you. GET AWAY FROM YOUR SISTER!

So glad i found this thread. I feel better now.


----------



## childsplay

What a fantastic way to vent!!
Here's mine....just from today,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP TELLING THE BABY THAT HE'S MAKING THE BABY JESUS ANGRY EVERY TIME HE POOPS HIS PANTS!!! YOU'RE GIVING HIM A COMPLEX!!
SHUT THE DARN DOOR, THERE'S CREATURES COMING IN, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!??
STOP SCREAMING AT THE BABIES, THEY ONLY TOUCH YOUR STUFF IF YOU LEAVE IT OUT!!!
STAY OUT OF THE FRIDGE, I SWEAR I'M GOING TO LOCK THE G.D. THING IF YOU GUYS OPEN IT AGAIN!!!
8 YOGURTS!!!!??? I STEP OUT TO HANG LAUNDRY AND YOU THREE MANAGE TO CONSUME 8 YOGURTS???? YOU JUST HAD BREAKFAST 20 MINUTES AGO, FOR F'S SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILDREN!!??
DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT. EVER. LOCK. ME. OUTSIDE. AGAIN!!!!!!!
DO NOT EVER LOCK THE BABY OUTSIDE!!!
WHY OH WHY MUST YOU TURN EVERY SINGLE THING INTO A DEADLY WEAPON????
THERE'S A CAT IN THE HOUSE. IT'S NOT OURS. WHO LEFT THE F'ING DOOR OPEN???AAAAAAHHHHHGGGGGGG!!!!!
WOULD YOU PLEASE, PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HAND FROM YOUR PANTS! AND YOU! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU EVER STOP POOPING?????? YOU'VE POOPED IN NINE DIFFERENT DIAPERS TODAY!! ONCE MORE AND I'M TAPING THE POTTY TO YOUR BUTT!!!!
AND YOU PRINCESS-WHINES-A-LOT, PLEASE PLEASE STOP THE WHINING, THE SOUND PERMEATES MY VERY SOUL, IT HAUNTS ME IN MY SLEEP, JUST PLEASE, I BEG YOU SAY THE WORDS PROPERLY! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!YOUR WHINING MAKES ME LONG FOR A COMA...YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL SPEECH, MAKE USE OF IT!!!
YOU SCRATCHED YOUR INTITIALS IN THE SIDE OF MY CAR. WITH A NAIL. PUT THE NAIL AWAY. GET IN THE CAR. BUCKLE UP. MAMA NEEDS TO GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE.


----------



## jewelsJZ

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
What a fantastic way to vent!!
Here's mine....just from today,

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP TELLING THE BABY THAT HE'S MAKING THE BABY JESUS ANGRY EVERY TIME HE POOPS HIS PANTS!!! YOU'RE GIVING HIM A COMPLEX!!
SHUT THE DARN DOOR, THERE'S CREATURES COMING IN, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!!??
STOP SCREAMING AT THE BABIES, THEY ONLY TOUCH YOUR STUFF IF YOU LEAVE IT OUT!!!
STAY OUT OF THE FRIDGE, I SWEAR I'M GOING TO LOCK THE G.D. THING IF YOU GUYS OPEN IT AGAIN!!!
8 YOGURTS!!!!??? I STEP OUT TO HANG LAUNDRY AND YOU THREE MANAGE TO CONSUME 8 YOGURTS???? YOU JUST HAD BREAKFAST 20 MINUTES AGO, FOR F'S SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILDREN!!??
DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT. EVER. LOCK. ME. OUTSIDE. AGAIN!!!!!!!
DO NOT EVER LOCK THE BABY OUTSIDE!!!
WHY OH WHY MUST YOU TURN EVERY SINGLE THING INTO A DEADLY WEAPON????
THERE'S A CAT IN THE HOUSE. IT'S NOT OURS. WHO LEFT THE F'ING DOOR OPEN???AAAAAAHHHHHGGGGGGG!!!!!
WOULD YOU PLEASE, PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HAND FROM YOUR PANTS! AND YOU! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU EVER STOP POOPING?????? YOU'VE POOPED IN NINE DIFFERENT DIAPERS TODAY!! ONCE MORE AND I'M TAPING THE POTTY TO YOUR BUTT!!!!
AND YOU PRINCESS-WHINES-A-LOT, PLEASE PLEASE STOP THE WHINING, THE SOUND PERMEATES MY VERY SOUL, IT HAUNTS ME IN MY SLEEP, JUST PLEASE, I BEG YOU SAY THE WORDS PROPERLY! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!!YOUR WHINING MAKES ME LONG FOR A COMA...YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL SPEECH, MAKE USE OF IT!!!
YOU SCRATCHED YOUR INTITIALS IN THE SIDE OF MY CAR. WITH A NAIL. PUT THE NAIL AWAY. GET IN THE CAR. BUCKLE UP. MAMA NEEDS TO GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE.

OMG, this is so hilarious, I am laughing so hard that tears are running down my face, not because I laugh at your pain, but because I know it! Thanks for the comic relief today, childsplay.


----------



## maddycakes

Do not shut the bathroom door!!! We leave doors open in this house unless mommy or daddy are with you!!!!!!!!!!! I know you think it's funny and that you think it's fun........but you know what, you got to eat breakfast already today.....I did not. You got 10 hours of sleep already.......I did not. My breakfast is still sitting on the counter and I only slept 6 hours last night because i finally decided to work on YOUR birthday party invitations. So I'm tired. And I'm hungry. And you're pushing my buttons. I don't like you in there by yourself, especially with the stool. My irrational fears get the best of me...but it's not even that--it's just that you won't leave the f***ing door alone. It's so simple. Yet you don't or won't get it. And it's starting to p*** me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now I can't eat because we're already late and now you're crying because I yelled when you started to slam the door shut. Great. All the sunscreen is now being washed away by your tears, and we're even more late and now I've got to reapply the sunscreen before taking you to daycare. I hate starting days like this with you because I don't want this to be the last thing we did before we have to part ways for 9 hours....and then I feel guilty, like now. So why can't you just play quietly for the 7 freaking minutes I need to eat, pack my coffee and get your lunch together for the day. Is that so much to ask!!!!?????????


----------



## lurve

do not use the pencil to draw on the flat screen tv. do not use the pencil to draw on the flat screen tv. you used the pencil to draw on the flat screen tv. now i am angry with you. now you are crying? is it such a shock that i am angry. did i not just say a minute ago in totally GD terms what to do with pencil. i said use pencil on the paper or cardboard. i gave you paper and cardboard. i didn't give you the f'n tv.


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## 2pinks

on the rare occasions where your baby sister actually lets me put her down when she's sleeping, do me a big effing favor and DON'T follow me into the room, start talking and making noise and then when I ask you NICELY to "shh" and tell you QUIETLY "sister's sleeping" get p'od at me for DARING to ask you to be quiet and immediately go into temper tantrum mode right by the effing playard and wake her up.


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## lurve

go to sleep. frickin go to sleep. it's 2am. just go to sleep. i'm pregnant and tired and you don't sleep in. why did i ever have kids. i could be on a beach right now. i could be sleeping. i am doubting everything. i hate this. i have not slept more than two frickin hours in 2.5 years. other kids sleep. why don't you? this is unfair. i am tired.


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## MissMaegie'sMama

DS: How many times do I have to tell you "Put away your socks!"??? I mean IN the drawer in your closet, not crammed into your bookcase! How many days ago did I wash those and bring them to your room? It's been almost a week, in case you aren't keeping count. And when I told you to hang your shirts up in your closet, I meant hang up your G-- D--- shirts on HANGERS and hang the hangers on the bars in your closet!!! Why the hell are all your t-shirts on your bed? Oh, by the way... over the past ten years, how many mornings have you got out of bed and looked in the mirror and noticed you have no teeth to brush when you wake up in the morning? How many days? What? None? Oh, okay, then why don't you brush them insted of letting them turn all yellow and mossy and ripe for decay? Do you think I'm made of money? Do your Dad and I have nothing better to do with our money than have your teeth filled? Oh, and by the way- your know that chore chart on the fridge... yeah, the one with the four or five simple tasks that I ask you to complete each day so the house is a more pleasant place to live and hang out at... yes, that chore chart. Well, it's still up there, and I still need you to do your chores, so would you turn off that stupid Nintendo DS and DO YOUR F------ CHORES?!?!? Oh, and by the way, your sister's Littlest Pet Shop animals were not designed to carry toy guns, and you know how I feel about guns to begin with- yes, that's right, I DON'T LIKE THEM- so for the one millionth time, DO NOT play with your stupid toy weapons around you rlittle sisters!!!!!

Phew. I'm glad I found this thread. Thanks MDC for letting me get that off my chest. I imagine I'll be back tomorrow to continue the rant!


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## Centura

Beloved 4 year old daughter...

I know its a WONDERFUL new skill, and your so PROUD of it, and I am too, I am so proud of you it hurts but PLEASE STOP TYING KNOTS IN EVERY PIECE OF STRING IN THE DAMN HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## IntrovertExtrovert

This is ridiculous, I know, but it gets my goat every time.

ARGH. If you're "starving" and shoveling away food from 7:05 to 7:40, you cannot have been too full to eat food I know you like at 6:45. Now you're still hungry and exhausted because we should have started bedtime 45 minutes ago. And when you get exhausted you are magically completely incapable of listening and cooperating, making bedtime hell for us both. I hate growth spurts.

Bonus--When you wake up in pain in the middle of the night, I really wish you would tell me what hurts. Is it your legs from growing pains, your stomach from eating so much at bedtime, or your throat from heartburn? I know you can tell me, and I could fix it if I knew what was wrong, and then neither of us would have to stay awake for an hour at 4AM. Aren't 3 year olds supposed to STTN at least _some_ nights? I would love it if we could average 3 nights of STTN per week.


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## SarahAbt

DS#! why do you fall asleep at 6pm every day just to wake up at 8 then stay awake past my bedtime? its 1 in the morning, i need my beauty sleep!!!!!!!! For once just fall asleep at noon like a normal child would............go to bed early and not fight me to go to bed!!!!!!!!!!!

DD#1 Why are you coping your brother? Your not even a year old yet and you throw fits when you dont get your way. Please just act like a 10 month old.......sleep, eat, play, learn to walk........Not throw yourself onto the ground when i say its enough....I can't hold you 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((Previous post is a normal everyday thing btw))

Where's the whiskey when you need it the most?


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## mataji4

I just found this and I might be coming here often. I'm looking for new coping mechanisms. I have noticed that yelling doesn't change their behavior. Just makes me feel better for like one second then like total crap and a terrible parent. Yelling also sometimes leads to spanking, which has similar results to yelling but I feel much much worse afterwards.

STOP WHINING AND PICKING AT YOUR FOOD WITH YOUR FINGERS AND EATING LIKE A MOUSE AND SIT YOUR BUTT ON YOUR CHAIR, PUT YOUR LEGS UNDER THE TABLE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH EATING CHILD?? I ONLY GAVE YOU A SMALL AMOUNT, EAT IT! SIT DOWN. PUT YOUR LEGS UNDER THE TABLE. SIT DOWN. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GO TO THE BATHROOM IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER??

SON, WHY CAN'T YOU GET THE RULE THAT WE DON'T LEAVE THE PROPERTY WITHOUT PERMISSION??? ALL THE OTHER KIDS GET IT AND YOU ARE MUCH OLDER THAN THEM! YOU ARE SO FREAKING SELFISH, YOU JUST DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO DO, HUH? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?? PUT YOUR PANTS ON. (said every hour or so)

YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHEN YOU POOP ON THE POTTY BABY SO I CAN WIPE YOU!

I KNOW YOU LOVE BODHI BUT HE IS NOT TAKING A NAP, HE'S TOO OLD FOR NAPS, HE'S HAPPILY PLAYING OUTSIDE BUT YOU HAVE TO LIE DOWN NOW AND GO TO SLEEP. STOP CRYING FOR YOUR BROTHER AND GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!

GO TO SLEEP ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!

STOP SLEEPWALKING, SON, IT'S FREAKING ME OUT WHEN YOU COME INTO MY ROOM AND START CUSSING AND YELLING IN THE NIGHT, IT'S TOTALLY FREAKY! YOU ARE SO WIERD!

IF I HAVE TO SWEEP THIS FLOOR ONE MORE TIME TODAY I'M GOING TO LEAVE ALL OF YOU! YOU ARE A BUNCH OF MESSY FREAKS!

CATS GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! I HATE CATS! I KNOW I AM A TOTAL FREAK BECAUSE I LOVE KITTENS AND ADOPTED YOU AND NOW I HATE YOU AND WISH I COULD LEAVE YOU IN THE WOODS! YOU BITE ME AND SCRATCH MY CHILDREN AND YOU SNEAK INSIDE THE HOUSE AND BITE THE CHILDREN IN THEIR BEDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! GO GET HIT BY A CAR OR SOMETHING, WOULD YOU?????

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry that was so much yelling. i'll be back soon


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## sarahr

For my almost 3 year old:

Just eat your [email protected] dinner already. You're cranky because you're hungry. So eat. It's okay that your fork will get dirty if you use it -- that's what it's for. No, your fork cannot talk to you. No, you don't need to get out all the forks -- one really is enough. It's time to JUST EAT YOUR FOOD IN FRONT OF YOU!

It's 5 am. It's NOT MORNING. Why must you wake up earlier the later you go to bed? If you're tired, you should sleep, not throw a tantrum.

STOP WHINING. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU WHEN YOU'RE WHINING.


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## Awaken

Wow, I sure wish I had seen this earlier! Thanks for making a safe place to rant without saying it to the kid. I'll definitely make use of this thread.


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## dexlor

Stop screaming for no freakin' reason!!! I just want to change your diaper...put a shirt on...put you down for a millisecond!! I let you know before i do any of this stuff...what more can i do???

Stop it...knock it off...that's enouuuuughhh!!!

Fine, go. Complain to daddy about what a monster i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Surfacing

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
YOUR WHINING MAKES ME LONG FOR A COMA...
















:














:


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## PlayaMama

go to sleep!!!!! again, again again!!!!


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## Carlyle

Stop f*king crying!!!! I can't help you when you're crying!!! I'm on your freiking side!!! I'm trying to help you!!! Stop screaming!!! Stop hanging on my while you're screaming!!!


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## Honey693

You do not need to nurse every 45 minutes. YOU ARE 10 MONTHS OLD. Enough is ENOUGH! My nipples hurt, my chest hurts b/c you freaking claw it, my armpit hurts b/c you claw that with your other hand. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AN HOUR!!!!!!!!!!


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## dachshundqueen

Please quit letting the dog out of his box. He has a back injury. If you continue to let him walk, he could die (he also has BP issues, BP rises with pain). So just leave him there. Yes, I can hear the dog whining that he doesn't want to be in the box. Yes, I know the dog is in the box. Please for the love of all that is holy, LEAVE the dog in the box.







:

I have now tied one doggie box door shut and put a baby lock on the other.

Ah well, just more mama training by the children right?

Seriously.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You do not need to nurse every 45 minutes. YOU ARE 10 MONTHS OLD. Enough is ENOUGH! My nipples hurt, my chest hurts b/c you freaking claw it, my armpit hurts b/c you claw that with your other hand. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AN HOUR!!!!!!!!!!

10 months = growth spurt = nearly constant feeding.

It will slow down in a couple months.

Do you have a nursing necklace? Or anything shiny, chew-proof and colorful you can hang from your neck or clip to the front of your shirt... it could reduce the clawing of your poor body and prevent you from feeling being abused and unappreciated.


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## Honey693

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
10 months = growth spurt = nearly constant feeding.

It will slow down in a couple months.

Do you have a nursing necklace? Or anything shiny, chew-proof and colorful you can hang from your neck or clip to the front of your shirt... it could reduce the clawing of your poor body and prevent you from feeling being abused and unappreciated.

The sad thing is nursing every 45 minutes is slowed down for her. It was every 30 a few months ago. I tried a nursing necklace until she almost strangled me. I have no idea how this child manage dthat. I'm going to try a different one though, maybe it was just the one i had that worked like a noose. Argh.


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## Karamom

Stop making messes!!!!!! We have been awake only three hours and i've already cleaned up a box of blocks, plastic garbage bags all over the house, a box of sandwich bags spread all over the house, and all your dishes. Clean up after yourself!!!!!!


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## Surfacing

STOP POOING ON THE FLOOR AND THEM TROMPING IT THROUGH THE HOUSE! YOU WERE JUST ON THE TOILET SO WHY DIDN'T YOU POO IN THERE?

AND ANOTHER THING - DON'T PICK THE POO OUT OF YOUR BUTT CHEEKS AND SMUSH IT THROUGH YOUR FINGERS AND THEN HAND IT TO ME. THAT'S GROSS!!!

Parenting has some great moments, doesn't it? Good thing dd2 is so dang cute.


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## Katico

Darling little baby, I KNOW you don't give me much to complain about...but really, could you please, PLEASE for the love of jebus spit up someplace OTHER than my cleavage? I don't understand how it happens, you defy the laws of physics somehow and it always ends up pooled in my bra no matter where you are in relation to my breasts. There is no dignified way to stick a hand down your shirt and mop up the mess while standing in line at the coffee shop. Really. Aim for my hair, down my back, anything but the cleave.

And this new pooping in the tub thing? REALLY????

Now, deep breath, on to the real stuff

MIL: I appreciate that you are still trying to console me re:not being able to breastfed DD. However, the following reasons do not make me feel any better for being unable to feed my child:
1) 'Well, at least she won't grab for other people's chests all the time, looking to be fed!'
2) 'It's really a good thing because it will keep her from getting too attached to you, if other people can give her a bottle'

In fact, these statements show such an astounding lack of priorities that it makes me want to beat you with something.

Oh, And SIL, calling me up to reassure me that colostrum is all the baby needs anyway and nursing past that doesn't really matter? BITE ME.

And yes, MIL, I am aware that we still haven't brought DD to visit at your house. PERHAPS IF YOU HAD JUST ONCE, IN 35 YEARS, CLEANED THE HOVEL YOU CALL A HOME I COULD BRING HER THERE WITHOUT THE FEAR THAT HER LITTLE LUNGS WOULD INSTANTLY COLLAPSE IN REBELLION

DH

Oh, DH....I am flattered that you are still interested in my vagina after seeing a living being and accompanying effluent emerge from it, really, I am. We resumed relations when DD was only 3 weeks old and have done 2-3 times per week since then. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW THRILLED SO MANY OTHER HUSBANDS WOULD BE BY SUCH A WILLING PP WIFE?

So please, YES I AM AWARE THAT YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX. Walking in the door, late for supper, honking my nipples and propositioning me before even asking how my day was DOES NOT MAKE ME WANT TO JUMP YOUR BONES.
Neither does inserting innuendo into every sentence to come out of your mouth. Your day was LONG and HARD? Bite me.

When it is 11 pm, your wife is finally done feeding and bathing and consoling your child, then finishes washing bottles, washing mountains of urine soaked diapers, doing dishes, scooping the litter box AGAIN and folding your undies....and finally sits down to have a cup of tea or read a few pages....THIS IS ALSO NOT THE TIME TO PUT ON YOUR SMOOTH MOVES.

You want to get me hot? HOW ABOUT *YOU* CLEAN UP THE GD LITTER BOX, SINCE ITS YOUR FAULT THE CATS NOW PEE EVERYWHERE IN THAT GENERAL VICINITY SINCE YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO ACTUALLY SCOOP THE BOX WHILE I WAS PREGNANT AND IT WAS THE ONE JOB I ASKED YOU TO TAKE OVER, FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR UNBORN CHILD.

That might actually give me enough time in the shower with my loofah to remove the day's layer of crusted on spit-up and baby pee. Oh, and maybe brush my teeth! Then maybe we can talk about your needs.


----------



## lamairs81

To DS, DDs, niece & nephew: JUST. GO. TO. SLEEP. Argh!!!


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## lil_miss_understood

Katico,
I think I love you.


----------



## ZanZansMommy

iT'S freakin 90* OUTSIDE i AM not HELPING YOU GET A COAT ON.

Why is everything a confrontation with you? UGH. The sky is blue...no it's not it's pink. I don't want to eat my egss I want to eat candy. No I won't eat it No I won't. Give me CANDY!

NO NO NO!

UGH....I'm ready to dropkick DS. Please someone tell me 4 years old is better than 3.5







:


----------



## CParker

Can I vent about DH too?

Could you PLEASE, for the love of GOD, hang up your towel ON A TOWEL RACK?? Not over the door. Not on the bed. Not on a dresser. ON A TOWEL RACK.


----------



## Katico

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CParker* 
Can I vent about DH too?

Could you PLEASE, for the love of GOD, hang up your towel ON A TOWEL RACK?? Not over the door. Not on the bed. Not on a dresser. ON A TOWEL RACK.

Be careful what you wish for! every morning DH puts his towel on the rack but does he put it there nicely? Nooooooo, he wads it in against the door in such a way that it it would never ever dry. So every morning one of the very first things I do, while in the bathroom, is unwad and hang his towel properly so it doesn't mildew and he can use it again. Because who has to wash it when it smells musty? Let's just say it isn't DH.


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## flgalinms

Everyone here is making me feel so much better. I'll explain that I cohabitate with my boyfriend who has a daughter (D1), plus I have a daughter (D2) and a son with a developmental brain defect. So here goes:

d1, I know that the girl next door is mean to you. if you don't want to play with her, then come inside. no, d2 doesn't have to come in if she is playing nicely. no, you can't go tell her to go home. WAIT! yes, tell her to go home. d2, she wasn't playing nicely. oh, she hit you too, and you want to still play with her? oh, quit crying! you're almost 6! why are you crying? you'll see her tomorrow. (answers the knock on the door) no, girl next door, the girls can't come back outside and play. because it's almost dark and they need to get in the tub. no, they can't come back outside when they get done. yes, there is school tomorrow. why don't you go home. yes, tomorrow they can play. no, don't come over as soon as you get off the bus. no, they have homework. (closes and locks the door) yes, d1, I see that she didn't go home but she's playing on the playset. no, her mom can come get her. son, get in here and get your dirty clothes off the bathroom floor. no, they won't clean up your mess. get in here! no, get out of his room! you have a room to play in. leave his stuff alone. d1, quit screaming for your daddy every time I get on to you! just yesterday you were telling on him because he let d2 go across the street to play in the pool. why do you think he can't make decisions for d2? and what makes you think I can't get on to you? yes, you live here, and I live here, and I'm your momma, whether you like it or not. yes, I know your real momma is in California, but you were calling me momma just a few minutes ago when girl next door wasn't playing with you! why do you get to call me momma when you want and then get mad when I get on to you? no, get the junk off the bed. I told you you have to sleep under the covers! no, you can't use a baby blanket! you get cold! get all this junk off your bed. d2, you don't have to do what d1 does! I know you want all of your toys in the bed, but there isn't any room for you on it! no, you can't sleep on the floor. you have a bed. d1, what is your toothbrush doing on your bed, under all the other crap on there! quit calling your daddy! he's in the shower! no, you can't go in there. we've told you that you can't see boys when they're naked! yes, it's okay for daddy to bathe you because he's daddy! quit calling him. when he gets out of the shower, you will be in the tub. yes, both of you can get some love before you go to bed. quit saying dada! I told you to use big girl words. no, huggie isn't a word! pillie isn't a word. say pillow. pill-oow! talk right. you're six years old. do you want your friends to hear you talking like a baby. son, it's time to get your shot. yes, you have to have your shot. you know the doctor said every night except Saturday. I know. talk to him the next time we see him. yes, he gave it to you because you're not growing! yes, I know it hurts. turn around. (gives shot) no, you're not bleeding. we've been doing this for six months! what's the problem. no, d1, I'm not giving him another shot so you can watch. no, it will make him throw up and I'll have to clean it up because he doesn't have the common sense to shoot for the toilet. no, your daddy cleaned it up last time and he didn't like it. yes, he cleaned it up because everytime I got in there I threw up too! yes, I know. alright, go get in the tub! no, your daddy won't come bathe you. you know how to bathe yourself. he doesn't have to hold your hand every minute! yes, give him a minute!

to daddy: I need time out! yes, you can watch them bathe if you want. I don't care. I'm going to my room and locking the door. yes, i know all of the kids are in school right now, and I can't go back to work right now, but I have had to listen to this since they got off the bus! I just want to go back to work! I know I decided to have the surgery! but I just want to get out of the house! I'm calling the doctor in the morning and telling them to release me so I can go back to work. dinner? this weekend? granny's house? promise? yes, I need a date night. alright, I won't pout in my room. but you have to take me out. if you don't, I'll never forgive you. yes, it's been eight weeks since we got to go out. yes, i know they were gone last weekend, but I didn't get to do anything with you because you fell asleep on the couch.

d1, if you're done, then get out of the tub. don't run through the house naked! no, get some panties on. son doesn't need to see you naked! no, daddy doesn't want to see either. d2, dry your hair off! alright, put the towel back on the rack. alright, brush your hair. yes, you have to brush your hair. alright, don't brush your hair. when it's standing up in the morning I'm not wetting it down so that it will lay back down. alright, good. give daddy loving. alright, get in the bed.

daddy, I'm going to get in the shower. that doesn't mean you get to sleep on the couch. when I get out, if you're asleep on the couch, I'm pouring a glass of cold water on your head. because I want you in the bed. no, you can't stay on the couch. bed, bed! that's what we bought it for. so you can sleep next to me. because d1 thinks it's okay to get out of the bed and sleep on the floor next to you when you're asleep on the couch. yes, I know you're tired! when you feel tired, go get in the BED! (kiss)

and this is every day! I just want to SCREAM, and give in sometimes! they make me crazy! I'm so ready to go back to work!!!


----------



## ~LadyBug~

IF YOU DON'T QUIT WAKING UP YOUR LITTLE SISTER WHEN YOU WAKE UP FROM YOUR NAP I AM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO THE WOOD CHIPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew! I feel better...sorta. Seriously though, how can I stop her from waking up her sister without sitting outside the bedrooms doors waiting for her to wake up?????


----------



## ~LadyBug~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CParker* 
Can I vent about DH too?

Could you PLEASE, for the love of GOD, hang up your towel ON A TOWEL RACK?? Not over the door. Not on the bed. Not on a dresser. ON A TOWEL RACK.

ME TOOO!!!!!!!! It is so annoying!!! And he leaves it WET!!!!!







:


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## blizzard_babe

In the name of all that is good and holy, stop whining and signing and screaming and pointing and asking for food, only to FEED IT TO THE DOG! We don't want to have to shut him in the other room every time you want to eat; it's totally not fair to the dog. He's good about not snatching it from you... EXCEPT WHEN YOU PUT IT DIRECTLY IN HIS MOUTH! FOR THE LOVE OF AAAAAARGH...


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## ~LadyBug~

Katico: YOU ROCK HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## kokonutmama

For heaven's sake, please, stop kicking me in the crotch, bashing your skull into my nose, and stepping on my boobs. It freaking hurts. When are you going to learn to control your own body?


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## Katico

~LadyBug~ said:


> IF YOU DON'T QUIT WAKING UP YOUR LITTLE SISTER WHEN YOU WAKE UP FROM YOUR NAP I AM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO THE WOOD CHIPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> :
> !!!!!


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## ~LadyBug~

*quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining*


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## mamakah

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~LadyBug~* 
*quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining
quit whining*

I Just wanted to add:
STOP WHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUIT RAMMING INTO MY ANKLES WITH YOUR PUSH TOY! QUIT CLIMBING UP THE OVEN! YOU DO NOT NEED ME TO CARRY YOU WHILE I'M CARRYING GROCERIES IN THE HOUSE! AH DID YOU POOP AGAIN??????????? DON'T HIT THE DOG! DON'T EAT DOG FOOD! DON'T KEEP SHUTTING THE DRYER DOOR WHILE I'M THROWING WET CLOTHES IN IT!!!!!!
STOP WITH THE EAR DRUM BREAKING SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## jewelsJZ

STOP SLAMMING DOORS ON EACH OTHER!!! DO YOU WANT TO WIND UP WITH FEWER FINGERS THAN YOU WERE BORN WITH???? WHY, WHY, WHY MUST YOU TAUNT YOUR SISTER SO SHE WILL CHASE YOU AND THEN SLAM THE DOOR ON HER. AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!
STOP ASKING TO WATCH THE SAME [email protected]#DAMN EPISODE OF CAILLOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IF I HAVE TO LISTEN/WATCH ONE MORE EPISODE OF THAT IDIOT BALD KID WHO BEHAVES PERFECTLY AND HIS PERFECT F*$%ING PARENTS WHO NEVER GET MAD EVER I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING EVIL TO DADDY'S PRECIOUS FLAT SCREEN T.V.
STOP PULLING THE BABY ACROSS THE FLOOR BY HIS LEGS. HE IS CRYING, HE DOESN'T LIKE IT. WHY MUST YOU DRAG HIM AROUND? NO WONDER HE HAS TAKEN 4 MONTHS TO LEARN HOW TO CRAWL, HE NEVER GETS THE CHANCE TO TRY IT WITH THE TWO OF YOU AROUND.
DO YOU THINK THE OTHER MOMMIES WILL LOOK AT ME FUNNY IF I SERVE WINE AT PLAYGROUP TOMORROW MORNING?
GO TO SLEEP. YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS EVERY NIGHT FOR FIVE YEARS. GET JAMMIES ON, BRUSH TEETH, READ BOOKS, GO. TO. SLEEP. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS NEW INFORMATION? DID YOU NOT GET THE EMAIL ABOUT THAT? GO. TO SLEEP.

ahhh...that's better.


----------



## isign

Stop biting me!! You are leaving bruises. You had better be thankful i'm exercising self control!!


----------



## heatherweh

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamakah* 
I Just wanted to add:
STOP WHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUIT RAMMING INTO MY ANKLES WITH YOUR PUSH TOY! QUIT CLIMBING UP THE OVEN! YOU DO NOT NEED ME TO CARRY YOU WHILE I'M CARRYING GROCERIES IN THE HOUSE! AH DID YOU POOP AGAIN??????????? DON'T HIT THE DOG! DON'T EAT DOG FOOD! DON'T KEEP SHUTTING THE DRYER DOOR WHILE I'M THROWING WET CLOTHES IN IT!!!!!!
STOP WITH THE EAR DRUM BREAKING SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmao! Awesome and cathartic thread!

Fine f- you then, don't take a bath!!! Stop hitting the baby! Stop that screeching! I'll pull this car over, I'll do it!!!


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## monkeysmommy

For the love of all that is holy, DO YOUR FREAKIN' HOMEWORK. IF YOU ASK ME TO HELP YOU, THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL GET. HELP. I WILL NOT DO IT FOR YOU. WHEN I GIVE YOU A CLUE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU, PAY ATTENTION!!!!! STOP LOLLING YOUR HEAD AROUND AND ACTING LIKE YOU ARE A RAGDOLL. SIT UP IN YOUR SEAT. YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION I JUST ASKED YOU. YOU CAN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T LISTENING!!!!! HOMEWORK THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU 30 MINUTES HAS TAKEN AN HOUR AND A HALF BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SUCKY ATTITUDE. AND I AM BITING MY TONGUE BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO BE ENCOURAGING, BUT JEEZLY CROW YOU ARE LAAAAZZZY!!!!! YOU ARE THE SMARTEST KID IN THE CLASS, WHY AREN'T YOU DONE?????? WRITE THE FREAKIN' NUMBERS, YOU KNOW HOW TO COUNT!!!!

Thank you.


----------



## Surfacing

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelsJZ* 
GO TO SLEEP. YOU HAVE BEEN DOING THIS EVERY NIGHT FOR FIVE YEARS. GET JAMMIES ON, BRUSH TEETH, READ BOOKS, GO. TO. SLEEP. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS NEW INFORMATION? DID YOU NOT GET THE EMAIL ABOUT THAT? GO. TO SLEEP.









:


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## oldcrunchymom

Your life doesn't suck because you have to do your own dishes from now on. Maybe if you ever used the same water glass for more than five minutes in a row instead of using 12 glasses EVERY DAY, we wouldn't have come to this point. Ever think of that???

That is all.


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## Thing1Thing2

YOUR SCREECHING IS DRIVING ME CRRRRRRRRRRRRRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! !!!

(but I love you anyway!)


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## Thing1Thing2

CAN i JUST DO ONE LOAD OF DISHES WITHOUT YOU CLIMBING INTO THE DISHWASHER AND THROWING ALL OF THE DISHES ON THE FLOOR??? NO, DONT TOUCH THAT KNIFE.. PLAY OVER THERE - STOP CRYING!

NO DONT TOUCH THE FERRETS LITTER! NOT IN THE MOUTH!!!! *NNNNNOT IN THE MOUTH*
AAAHHHHH !!!!!!

... GO AHEAD EAT IT... AT LEAST I WILL GET TO GET SOME OF THESE DISHES DONE....


----------



## ~LadyBug~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelsJZ* 
STOP ASKING TO WATCH THE SAME [email protected]#DAMN EPISODE OF CAILLOU OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IF I HAVE TO LISTEN/WATCH ONE MORE EPISODE OF THAT IDIOT BALD KID WHO BEHAVES PERFECTLY AND HIS PERFECT F*$%ING PARENTS WHO NEVER GET MAD EVER I AM GOING TO DO SOMETHING EVIL TO DADDY'S PRECIOUS FLAT SCREEN T.V.

YES!!!!! I HATE CAILLOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I used to like that show, but now it drives me insane.


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## ~LadyBug~

Stop ramming people at the grocery store with your mini grocery cart. It is not nice and one day you are going to ram into someone who is twice as big as mommy and she might get her a$$ kicked by that person. AND why do you continue to grab extra items and INSIST we NEED them. Do we REALLY need pickled eggs? NO! Do you we NEED eight tooth brushes? No, you hardly brush your teeth anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## SwanValkyrie

Oh please please please stop BITING ME!!!! My nipples are not your freaking chew toys! It does not make it better when you smile at me while you do it. IT MAKES IT WORSE!!!!! And for heaven's sake, no more headbutting


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## heatherweh

Leave my food alone! This is my food, not yours. I am not eating in order to entice you to take it away. Stop trying to take my food away or I will bite you. Its mine- MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!


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## SarahAbt

DS: I know you love your balls (toys, not the down below). But do you really need all 100 of the small ones around your bed, and the 15 big balls on your bed? What is with you flipping your mattress to hide the balls? Seriously I'm in the room with you, and your so freaken sneaky. Yes we know you have a puppy, but please stop calling everything you see ball or puppy. The real puppy is not going to sleep in your room so dont ask. As for you waking up in the morning, please inform mommy that you need a change instead of taking the diaper off, the processing to poop on the floor. I go through so many lysol wipes and mr. clean magic earasers, its breaking me. Just for once, go to sleep at a regular time, and sleep through the night. Just because your not tired doesnt mean you can wake your sister up. She needs sleep just like me and daddy. Also the thing that really makes me mad is when your intaginize your sister, steal her food and her toys. You don't do this to your sister, she doesnt do it to you.

DD: please stop with the crying, yes we know he is next to you, but that doesnt mean you have to cry about every little thing he does. Go to bed and stay asleep, we know your big brother is a brat. I promise you when your bigger you will be able to beat your brother up for being a brat to you. You do not need to cry about everything, your screeching is leaving me with a headache. I'm tired of having migranes because of you and your brother.

FIL: I swear I'm going to murder your dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Puppy: You do not need to follow me around everywhere, and scratch at the door to be next to me while im on the toilet.

Blah i need sleep, and my body is starting to overcome the energy drinks that i have daily. Anyone recommend some good energy drinks that does the energy? I usually drink Full throttle, and redbull doesnt do crap for me, i have no wings


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## ThreeJane

Sooooo PMS right now, this will be long:

DS11: Oh shut up, I know your hormones are kicking in, but jeezly crow, do you have to have either a drama fit or an attitude fit over every.little.thing I say to you? Is it TRULY the end of the world if I tell you to do the dishes, take out the trash, or do your laundry? Those are the ONLY three cyclical chores you have to do besides feeding the dogs.

And God FORBID I should ask you to do anything outside what you have deemed to be your chore realm, you could probably set me on FIRE with that squinty glare of yours. I know we're all here to serve and nourish and pacify and entertain YOU but once in a while, with four kids, I need some $%^&ing help around here and I'd like to have it WITHOUT the drama, muttered comments, searing glances and general bad attitude!

Oh, and side note..."You guys are treating me like crap again" said five times a day loses the sympathy factor REALLY quick. We may be treating you like crap because you're being a total tool and we're tired of it and we're finally just slinging it back. Stop bossing your sisters around and telling them what they can and can't do on the trampoline, or in the backyard, or on the couch, or anything else. Stop acting like you are the Grand High Poobah of S%^T Mountain and realize that you are part of this family and not Lord of it!

DD6: Will you STOP creating arguments with me over how your sister has [insert here] and you don't? Life is not fair, you won't always get the EXACT SAME AMOUNT of french fries she did, and OHMYGOD, your Oma sent her an iron-on patch and YOU didn't get one? Must I hear about this five times a day? You're so pissed off that she got crayons and you didn't, but you never use your stuff anyway!

You use all of her stuff and hoard all of yours for the maybe-someday that you actually need it. So meanwhile she gets screwed because HER stuff is being used twice as hard and YOU are still complaining that you want MORE??? How much stuff do you NEED?

Stop trying to shove your way between me and your father, I don't get to spend much physical time with him and it's hard to do when you're trying to shove between us on the couch!

DD4: I swear to the LORD if I repeat myself one more time, I'm going to throw you across the room! I KNOW you heard me, they heard me down the STREET, get off your butt and do it! Don't do it at super slow speed, stop sticking your tongue out at me, and stop acting like it's a huge imposition that I asked you to get a binky for a screaming baby! I know you learned it from your brother but it's getting old.

All older kids: When I am hissing SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP, there's only two reasons: the baby is asleep or I'm on the phone and can't hear. If I'm hissing SHUT UP, that does not mean to continue your loud raucous game as if I hadn't spoken. If you have something to ask me, unless it is broken bleeding or on fire, wait until I am done with my conversation or the phone call. Do NOT sit there and continue to repeat your question with an escalating Mom MoM MOMMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOM until I want to throw something at you!

And if you DO have to interrupt me with something that is so CRITICALLY important that I must stop EVERYTHING and answer you, by GOD it better not be, "So, are we going to [local amusement park] for my birthday that's 11 months away?"

DD7mos: Sweets, if you continue doing these little poops ten times a day, you're going to have a rashy butt! I'm sorry you can't go up the step from the livingroom because you haven't mastered crawling, but when I'm boiling spaghetti, I'm not going to hold you in my arms! Stop going to bed at 8PM and getting up at 5AM. I'm OLD, I'm TIRED, and I need more than five hours of sleep because your father gets ticked if I go to bed earlier.

DH: Dammit, quit insisting I stay up and watch TV with you. And NO, I don't want to watch any horror movies before I go to the bed, i don't CARE if they're not real, I am afraid of the dark! No, I don't want to watch football, or anything else, I'm so damn tired of the TV that I wish it would just BREAK.

Dogs: Stop barking at stuff in the woods at 300AM! If there's something out there that you can handle, then go kill it and shut up! If it's something that you CAN'T handle, then it's not impressed with the tone and timbre of your bark anyway so shut the hell up already because I need my sleep.

Female dog, the next time you sneak in through the open front door or basement door and steal something of the girls' to destroy in the backyard, I'm going to drop you into a quarry! You have chew toys and rawhide galore, stop wrecking thirty dollar pairs of shoes!

Male dog, you have singlehandedly managed to help knock off TWO of my puppies, stop taking them on jaunts in the woods and ditching them! You have NO idea how close you are to spending the rest of your life on a chain because I don't have $9000 to fence off my property! You're stupid and lazy and if you're going to play Mr. Dog Uncle, the least you can do is bring the damn puppies back alive!

LOL. I am so hormonal right now. I could go all night.

*edited to add: If you made it to the end, you are a trooper. Hopefully I made you laugh, if nothing else.


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Holy crap, ThreeJane, that was freaking legendary.


----------



## Pumpkin_Pie

Dear (2.5 year old) son,

Mama is T.I.R.E.D. I LOVE co-sleeping with you, and I don't want to wean you for a long time, but holy crap, waking me up at 5:30 this morning when you have been sleeping in until 6:30 at least lately is not a good thing. Mama has a class to go to today that is 9 freaking hours long and I was hoping to get at least 6 good hours of sleep in order to stay awake today.

Whining in my ear, "nay-nay please mama! nay-nay please mama!", pulling one strand of my hair out of my head at a time, begging to snuggle with me, only to claw at my breasts and whine for more mama milk is not an enjoyable way to snuggle, and it all just makes me want to shut off the boob juice and get you your own bed.

Please, please, please, please just let me get some sleep. I know it is impossible for you to understand right now, but I have to pay attention to this class. I paid for it with a lot of money that I don't have, and if I fail, mama will not be able to get a job to get us out of this hell hole of public assistance that we live in right now.

I realize you can't tell time, but honestly, waking me up with frantic whining of "nay-nay" doesn't make me a happy camper. I am tired, I am stressed, I hate that I am starting our day out this way and I am about to put you in childcare for nearly 10 hours today. You started pre-school this week, and by yesterday, I missed you so terribly it hurt. I don't want to put you in childcare today and starting our morning this morning with a fight is so not on my agenda.

Little man, I love you so much, and this just sucks.

Ok, vent over. Hauling my butt back upstairs to start my insane-o day out waaaaayyyyy earlier than I had hoped....







:


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Boudicca~* 
Holy crap, ThreeJane, that was freaking legendary.

















:


----------



## ThreeJane

lol I was in a super bad mood when I wrote it. Hope it was amusing.


----------



## Surfacing

ThreeJane my 4 y.o. acts just like your teenager. Help.

Hope you're feeling better today!


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## SarahAbt

DD and DS you guys were doing so good for the past few days....... other then the occassional diaper dissappearing from being on you to hiding somewhere where i haven't been able to find it. But now you guys just make me sick...... Your both a year and 2 years old, you both should know better then to do this. I mean seriously, this is the grosses thing You guys have ever done........ I can't even stand going in the bathroom right now, let alone i'm gonna have to get a gas mask now........ Neither one of you will claim you did it, but i know it was one of you both. I mean serioulsy i went to my room to get both of you guys diapers and PJ's and this is what i come back too........ Now daddy has to get new toothbrushs for both of us, and the tub wont drain........

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CRAP IN THE TUB DURING BATHTIME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


----------



## ~PurityLake~

At least it was in the tub and not on the walls.


----------



## SarahAbt

I'm used to it on the walls, where i can just use the lysol wipes then a mr clean magic earaser........... Now i have to scrub the tub, ewwy lol. the worse part was when they used my toothbrush and the soon to be hubby, since thats the new fasination the kids have.............


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## ~PurityLake~

I was almost scared to ask... what exactly did they use the toothbrushes for?


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## waiting2bemommy

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, GO. TO. SLEEP. Stop getting out of the bed and running around, and PLEASE stop kissing the cat on the mouth. That is disgusting. I don't even kiss YOU on the mouth, probably because I know you do things like kiss the cat on the mouth.....

And could you PLEASE stop unrolling the toilet paper every time you go potty? And don't try to stick raisins in every orific on the cat's body. That's just.....ew.

at this moment you are DRIVING ME CRAZY and would like to send one of us to an alternat universe before I lose my freaking mind. I'm pregnant and cranky and you're holding up my night. GRRRRRRRR

Thanks, I feel so much better. lol.


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## zenmama108

To DP:

DO NOT TELL ME THAT YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME TO SHOP FOR A PRESENT FOR DD, THEN SULK THE ENTIRE TIME! IF YOU WERE THAT TIRED, YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME!

WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO CAN SWEEP/MOP/LOAD THE DISHWASHER/TAKE OUT THE TRASH ? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU WERE 21, NOT 2!

I AM 5 MONTHS PREGNANT AND JUST DRAGGED 2 HUGE BAGS OF GARBAGE DOWN 4 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS, HEFTED THEM INTO A DUMPSTER, THEM WALKED BACK UP 4 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING! GET YOUR OWN LUNCH!

IF YOU STOP PLAYING COUNTERSTRIKE, THE WORLD WILL NOT END!

G**D*****, JUST GIVE ME A HUG ONCE IN AWHILE!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, I really needed to get that off my chest. I feel better.









he really is a good partner. i would never yell at him IRL. this thread is great.


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## Storm Bride

ThreeJane: I've got a 16 year old, not an 11 year old...but I've also got a 6 year old, a 4 year old, and a baby, and I can soooooo relate to sooooo much of that. The phone thing makes me especially nuts - I'm almost never on the thing!

Awesome post.


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## SarahAbt

they just like playing with the toothbrush's. DS was brushing his teeth, DD was just chewing on it lol


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## lovingmommyhood

PLEASE...STOP...SCREAMING!!!!!!!!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Stop screaming!









Stop begging me for snacks 24/7!
Stop breaking anything in sight!
Stop Bickering!
Stop Tattling!
Stop trashing your room just to see how bad you can make it!
Stop Begging for anything and everything!
Stop Whining!
Learn to accept my answer the first time, at least once in awhile!!

Hold me.


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## Storm Bride

STOP SQUABBLING!!!

DS2: No - it's NOT okay to hit your sister. It just isn't. I don't care if you're mad at her. I don't care if she took something from you. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HIT!!!

DD1: Stop with the "I didn't do anything - he just hit me for no reason at all" crap. Just stop. You did do something. I saw you do it. Don't do it.

I'm so sick of you two and your freaking squabbling. I know you're not feeling well. I'm not feeling well, either. DD2 isn't feeling well. I haven't slept. Just TRY to be nice for five freaking minutes!! TRY!!

ARRRGGH! It's WAY too early to be this burnt out.


----------



## chirp

dude! just stay out of the damn fish tank!!

it's dangerous. it's disgusting. the fish don't like it. i'm tired of you getting water all over the place. i'm tired of the whining when i take you away. climbing up on that table is dangerous.

when will you get it!!!!


----------



## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chirp* 
dude! just stay out of the damn fish tank!!

it's dangerous. it's disgusting. the fish don't like it. i'm tired of you getting water all over the place. i'm tired of the whining when i take you away. climbing up on that table is dangerous.

when will you get it!!!!

My sympathies. We had a fish tank when ds1 was little. I may get one again - but not until dd2 is _at least_ four.


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## VroomieMama

I just wanna yell at EVERYONE!







:

STOP HITTING EVERYONE!!!!! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS, STOP GIVING ADULTS ATTITUDES, STOP TOUCHING/STEALING OTHER PEOPLE STUFF, STOP LYING!

STOP BARKING AT THE NEIGHBORS AND STOP PEEING/POOPING ON OUR CARPET!

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME WITH LAUNDRY, WASHING DISHES, PUTTING AWAY THINGS, AND KEEP OUR HOUSE CLEAN!

MOM AND DAD: STOP PUTTING YOUR NOSE IN OUR BUSINESS AND BE NICE TO OUR 6 YEARS OLD GIRL! SHE'S HAVING A REALLY TERRIBLE YEAR!!!! THAT'S WHY SHES IN THERAPY AND THAT'S ALSO WHY I'M IN THERAPY.... WE NEED HELP!! AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU GUYS TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.. ITS A COUNT DOWN TIME.. 10 MORE DAYS TO GO!!







: BUT THAT MEANS LESS INCOME..MORE FINANICAL HARDSHIP FOR US









TO MY MAID OF HONOR: YES WE WILL PAY YOU BACK WHEN WE HAVE F******** MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

AARGGGHHHHHHHHH and now I'm crying.. oh crap.. now, my mom is asking me what's wrong.


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## samanthamommaof3

dd1: PLEASE QUIT CRYING EVERYTIME I SAY NO! please quit crying everytime I ask you to do something as simple as putting your shoes in the closet!!!!!!!!!! please stop lying about the naughty things you do! please stop telling me that you are hungry every twenty seconds on the walk home from daycare/preschool when you clearly couldn't be since you just woolfed down the bag of graham crackers i gave you, and you KNOW! that daddy will be at home cooking dinner for us when we get there!
Please stop looking so sad and sulky allllll the time!!!!!!!! We love you and don't really understand why you are always upset.

dd2: IT IS OK TO DO SOMETHING ON YOUR OWN! I know you know how to wipe your own bottom and can do this just as easily as I can, PLEASE DO *NOT* repeatedly announce that you are done on the potty and to come wipe you even after I say no do it yourself and then break down crying when I stand there waiting for you to do the job. PLEASE understand that its a good thing to be a big girl, and that being a baby is ok too but that we would be much more proud of your actions if they weren't always in an effort to out-baby your little sister! I get that its hard to be the middle child, esp when you are so close in age, but you are a SMART little girl who is very capable of being a big girl...

dd3: PLEASE do not yell and pretend to cry every day when I change your diaper. It would go much more quickly if you would just hold still. PLEASE LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM IN PEACE< I WILL BE ABLE TO HOLD YOU AS SOON AS IM DONE! ALSO WHEN IM EATING, CLEANING, COOKING, EXCERSIZING, I will pick you up when I am done, or just know i will wear you if it becomes nesicary but when it isnt i am just trying to hurry and get things done and you CAN wait. Please dont get angry every night at bedtime, I dont understand what is upsetting you and I do my best to make the transition to bedtime as routine and calm as possible. ITS DRIVING ME NUTTY to hear you fuss for 15 min and then to have you wake up at 3 and 5 am crying when the doctor says you are fine and should be sleeping thru the night by this age.

thanks for this thread, its kinda nice to put into words the emotions i have going on towards my kids. I get that they are just going thru phases or having a hard time, or learning or something. but sometimes understanding that something isnt abnormal isnt enough to keep you from feeling frustrated. this was a great idea.


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## mamabearsoblessed

STOP SNEAKING FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP THROWING WRAPPERS ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STOP GIVING YOUR BABY SISTER FRUIT SNACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GREEN~~~~~~~~~~~ PLEASE. JUST. SLEEP.

I love all the 3 of you


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## lil_miss_understood

For the love of Pete, can SOMEONE in this household besides ME at least learn where stuff GOES?! Really. There's a broom closet. BROOM closet. See that word BROOM? Yeah, that's the thing that sweeps the floor which none of you EVER PUT BACK when I ask you to do. Do I really have to make a show like Sesame Street to teach you all where stuff goes in the house? I can understand DS2 not getting it, but seriously, he does a better job of putting things away than you DS1 or even YOU, DH. He's TWO. COME ON.
I'm so buying a label maker and if you even think of complaining about it, I will label you while you're sleeping and it won't be nice.







Then none of you can say "I didn't know where it goes." I'm going to paste PICTURES beside the words too. NO EXCUSES. I'M SO DONE WITH BEING THE ONLY ONE TO PICK UP ANYTHING. It's not enough that my time is monopolized by TWO nurslings and I'm the only one to know how to cook, but to have to do ALL of the cleaning as well, ESPECIALLY when there's a birthday party coming up... No. Just no. Bite me. Actually, skip that. Someone besides ME is going to be bit if things don't change. You've heard my bark often enough and it seems useless so it's time for some teeth. Woof.


----------



## blizzard_babe

Kid, stop waking up dog! Dog, stop waking up kid! Furnace guy, stop waking up dog so dog barks and wakes up kid!


----------



## blizzard_babe

Oh, and DO NOT TOUCH MY BELLY BUTTON! I know you just discovered the coolness of belly buttons and mine is just so much more... um... cavernous than yours, but can you PLEASE just nurse without trying to dig around in it? It's weird and I don't like it.

Also, if you bring me that stupid Scooby Doo book that grandma found at a yard sale over one more time, I am going to feed it to a billy goat. I know, I know, there aren't a lot of billy goats on the tundra, but I will import one for the express purpose of having him eat that stupid book. It is inane in a way that far surpasses anything else we own. Bring me some Eric Carle, for the love of dog!

STOP POOPING! THAT MAKES FOUR POOPY DIAPERS TODAY!

DO NOT REACH FOR MY COFFEE MUG! You are the reason I need this much caffeine.

NO! No more water in the bathtub! We're on delivered water, so it's not like an infinite reasource. Don't scream when I turn it off, there's plenty of water in the tub to scoop up and pour. Don't you freakin' DARE learn how to turn it on. Stop tantrum-ing and stomping your feet, you're going to fall and hit your head and then the people at the hospital will give mommy judgmental looks.

JUST SIT IN THE CART LIKE A NORMAL KID! We pass all these other kids at the grocery store, and they are all happily riding along, checking out the sights. They're not standing up, they're not screaming.


----------



## caiesmommy

To ds(3)
*PUT YOUR PENIS BACK IN YOUR PANTS...I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T PUT YOUR PENIS BACK IN YOUR PANTS I'M GOING TO CHOP IT OFF!!!!*

LEAVE HER ALONE....WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE YOUR SISTER ALONE! GIVE HER BACK HER TOY...SHE HAD IT FIRST..FOR F'SAKES SHE'S JUST A BABY! LEAVE HER BE!

I *JUST* CLEANED UP...SERIOUSLY JUST CLEANED UP...WHY DO I BOTHER CLEANING UP

EAT WHAT'S ON YOUR PLATE...NO I WILL NOT MAKE YOU SGETTIES, NO I WILL NOT MAKE YOU PANCAKES,,,NO EAT WHAT YOU HAVE

I SWEAR IF I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND STEP ON ANOTHER STUPID TOY I'M THROWING THEM ALL OUT

To dd(8 months)

THERE IS *NOTHING* WRONG WITH MY LEFT BREAST! JUST NURSE OFF MY LEFT SIDE...SERIOUSLY I'M RUNNING OUT OF MILK ON THE LEFT SIDE IF YOU DON'T NURSE OFF OF IT...LOOK AT THESE STRETCH MARKS ON MY RIGHT BOOB...LOOK IT SAGS TO MY STOMACH WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE THE RIGHT SIDE A REST AND TRY THE LEFT SIDE...I PROMISE IT'S JUST AS GOOD! THEN MAYBE THEY WILL BOTH HANG DOWN TO MY STOMACH









YES YOUR TIRED...YES I KNOW SO GO TO SLEEP DEAR GOD JUST GO TO SLEEP, CAN YOU SLEEP...AND I MEAN SLEEP THE MILK FACTORY IS CLOSED TONIGHT

DON'T PULL YOUR BROTHER'S HAIR...YES I KNOW HE TOOK YOUR TOY YES I KNOW YOUR STRONGER THEN YOUR 3 YEAR OLD BROTHER AND YOUR PROUD OF THAT..OK SERIOUSLY STOP SCREECHING AT HIM...OK LET GO, STOP YELLING...
back to ds

JUST GIVE HER BACK HER TOY...SHE'LL LET GO OF YOUR HAIR IF YOU GIVE HER BACK HER TOY, GOD STOP YELLING AT HER...THIS ISN'T HELPING JUST GIVE HER BACK HER AIRPLANE...GOD D*MN YOU GUYS HAVE *THREE* TONKA AIRPLANES AND YOU JUST CAN'T SHARE THEM...HOW MANY DO YOU NEED!

feel soooo much better


----------



## blizzard_babe

Argh! Stop hiding my stuff!


----------



## SweetTexasgal

GEEZ!!!! IT IS A KINGSIZED BED....IT IS JUST THE 2 OF US KID...GIMMEE A LITTLE ROOM. NO I DON'T LIKE SLEEPING ON THE EDGE OF THE BED IN THE SAME DADGUM POSITION NIGHT AFTER NIGHT. WHY DOES YOUR BODY HAVE TO BE IN FULL BODY CONTACT WITH MINE? AT.ALL.TIMES? I SWEAR I AM GOING TO CRAWL OUT OF BED AND GO GET IN ON THE OTHER SIDE!! I SHOULD JUST GET A TWIN BED....THAT IS WHAT WE SLEEP ON.

I love sleeping with you....for as long as you want....


----------



## itsmyturn

Why the heck did you have to make by butt bigger and my boobs sag!


----------



## InMediasRes

To DS -

Stop slamming doors on me. Stop stomping and standing on my feet. Stop walking on my broken toe. Stop sneezing, coughing, drooling, and wiping your nose on me. Stop putting your feet down my pants in the middle of the night. You're toes are Fing freezing! Stop trying to flush the public toilet on me while I'm still sitting on it. Stop pouring water and food on me! Stop generally degrading me as a human being!

And for goodness sakes, stop taking everything away from your sister. She is already frustrated enough that she can't chase after you. Just you wait until she can crawl!

DD -

Stop humping my leg and twisting my nipples while you are nursing. It feels very awkward. Start telling me when you need to pee so I don't have to keep changing you all the time! I will gladly take you to the potty!

Stop waking up at 10 PM to poop. Stop waking up at 3 AM to poop. Stop waking up at 5 AM to poop. Why can't you just poop all at once instead of a billion times a day!?!

Phew, I feel better.


----------



## VroomieMama

GOOOOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOOOO SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP my little angel! Mommy want to have some down time! Why does it makes me feel so quilty leaving you to cry for 5 minutes just to preserve my sanity???!!!! ACKKKKK!!!

back to upstairs I go to comfort the little ones... *sighs*


----------



## elisheva

When I'm spending 5 whole minutes trying to do the dishes, do NOT come and cling to my leg and whine and pull my pants down then get upset that you have nothing more to cling to.

If I pick you up and try to do dishes with one hand, do NOT pull my hair or try to bite my shoulder. You have toys, cupboards to ransack, and a BIG BROTHER for goodness' sake. Go PLAY until the timer goes off then I will read to you!

The toilet brush is not for cleaning the floor after you've dumped out the dog's water.

At the supper table, you have EVERYTHING everyone else has. Don't point and shriek because your brother's pieces of steak are cut larger than yours. In fact, don't point and shriek AT ALL unless a wildebeest is about to fly through the window and land on the table.

I really DO get that you're teething. Molars suck. However, I'm 8 months pregnant and your brother seems to think his new favorite game is called "launch all 38 lbs of himself at mom's tummy". all day. By supper time, I've had enough. I want valium. Or wine. ANYTHING.

So, darling ds2, I DO love you. Just cut me some slack, ok?


----------



## letniaLynne

Stop picking the caulk out of around the window and leaving bits of it all over the kitchen floor for your little sister to walk over and EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!














OMG why do you think that is a good idea after the 10th time I have told you NOT to do that!!!!!!!!!!! *Answer "because I like to"**







**







*


----------



## lurve

You cannot wake up at 3:30 in the morning and expect me to be happy. I need sleep. I am pregnant. You are almost three - you can stop being a crappy sleeper already! Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
And hey if you are not going to sleep you are old enough to play by yourself while i sleep. Really you are.

And if i am this tired i am not carrying you every place so stop throwing a fit on the floor. What part of "i am tired don't you understand?"


----------



## ProtoLawyer

YOU WILL NOT DIE FROM LACK OF ATTENTION IN THE 10 MINUTES IT TAKES FOR YOUR DAD AND ME TO CLEAN UP DOG DIARRHEA FROM *YOUR* ROOM.

(Perhaps if you *slept* in there, he would find another place to be sick.)

THERE IS NO REASON YOU *NEED* THE ONE TOY THAT'S INACCESSIBLE DURING CLEAN-UP RIGHT AT THIS VERY SECOND. YOU ARE SEVEN AND HAVE A VERY WELL DEVELOPED SENSE OF OBJECT PERMANENCE. THE TOY IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

SO, PLEASE, UNLESS YOU PLAN TO HELP, PLEASE AMUSE YOURSELF ELSEWHERE INSTEAD OF BOUNCING AROUND YOUR ROOM ALTERNATELY SINGING "YOU'RE A GRAND OLD FLAG" AND COMPLAINING THAT THE CARPET IS TOO WET FOR YOU TO WALK ON.


----------



## blizzard_babe

Mama's belly button IS NOT A TOY! I am starting to regret ever teaching you the word for, and therefore drawing your attention towards, belly buttons. DO NOT STICK YOUR FINGER IN IT WHILE YOU NURSE! Do you know how lucky you are to be nursing at 17 months? I swear, if you do it again, I'm going to find some nice, calm, non-belly-button-fiddling baby and let HIM nurse instead. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wow, that felt good.


----------



## lynsage

Ok, let's get this straight. THIS IS MY BODY. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN BODY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO PICK MY NOSE, GROPE MY BOOBS, PAT MY BELLY, PINCH MY ELBOWS, STAND ON MY FEET, OR LICK ANY AREA OF EXPOSED SKIN. *SERIOUSLY, QUIT FREAKING LICKING PEOPLE.*


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lynsage* 
Ok, let's get this straight. THIS IS MY BODY. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN BODY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO PICK MY NOSE, GROPE MY BOOBS, PAT MY BELLY, PINCH MY ELBOWS, STAND ON MY FEET, OR LICK ANY AREA OF EXPOSED SKIN. *SERIOUSLY, QUIT FREAKING LICKING PEOPLE.*


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## chirp

you know...when you're trying to be all sneaky and quiet while going into your father's video game cabinet...you totally give yourself away when you come walking into this room with a controller in your hand.

i'm not even going to put it away for you.

let daddy come home and see it. he WILL yell. and i've had enough of your whining.

and i really can't stand it when you nurse. teething cannot possibly be THIS painful. sorry. but i have no sympathy any more.

blowing raspberries isn't cool when you spit all over my body in the process.

4 shitty diapers a day is enough to drive any momma batty.

and the next time you throw water onto my computer i'm going to throw away all YOUR toys.

and the cat's going to hate you for the rest of his life if you don't stop shrieking at him.


----------



## chirp

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lurve* 
You cannot wake up at 3:30 in the morning and expect me to be happy. I need sleep. I am pregnant. You are almost three - you can stop being a crappy sleeper already! Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
And hey if you are not going to sleep you are old enough to play by yourself while i sleep. Really you are.

And if i am this tired i am not carrying you every place so stop throwing a fit on the floor. What part of "i am tired don't you understand?"

hell's yeah!!!


----------



## Right of Passage

Dear DS1,

I think your independance and strong will are beautiful qualities and I'm so lucky to have such a lively, strong, adventerous son. But for the love of ketchup QUIT SAYING NO TO EVERYTHING! Just because you suggest the same thing 5 seconds later doesn't make the idea or plan ANY different.

Yes you MUST wear a SEATBELT. NO you MAY NOT RUN INTO THE STREET OR PARKING LOT.

Spitting is gross PLEASE STOP.

QUIT POOPING AND PEEING ON EVERYTHING!!!! I'd really enjoy it if you'd use the toilet more than once a day. As much as I've tried to explain that our poop and pee should go in the potty every time you still don't seem to like that idea and much prefer to squat on the bedroom floor and allow your little brother to run through it or the dog to eat it. It's gross, your 4th birthday is 2 weeks away and I'd really love it if you didn't need to wear diapers again.

Thank you.


----------



## crabbyowl

BITING MY SHOULDER IS *NOT* AN APPROPRIATE WAY TO TELL ME YOU WANT TO NURSE!!!! YOU KNOW THE SIGN FOR MILK, WHY DON'T YOU START USING IT AGAIN!


----------



## elisheva

Dear Ds1,

Stop f-ing rubbing/picking at my moles EVERY time I bare any small amount of skin (and keep your fingers of the one on my hand, too!). It makes me want to crawl out of my skin. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!! Bodies are private!


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## jrabbit

MOLLY!!! DO NOT PICK UP ZOE. PUT THE BABY DOWN ON THE FLOOR! PUT. HER. DOWN. ON. THE. FLOOR. NOW. (baby falls off bed) NO !!!!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS 15 TIMES A DAY! (but I was just playing with her) GET OFF MY BED! STOP DOING THIS!!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PICK HER UP ALL THE TIME??? SHE DOES NOT LIKE THAT!


----------



## ~Charlie's~Angel~

STOP PINCHING ME!!!!! Seriously, Dude, it F-ING HURTS!!!

GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! For the love of GOD!!!!!

STOP SCREAMING everytime I try to redirect you to do something OTHER then what you are NOT supposed to be doing.

QUIT FIGHTING WITH ME! WE are going HOME, its not a matter for debate. ME MAMA, YOU CHILD, END.OF.STORY!

STOP PINCHING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STAY ASLEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!

For the 800th time, stop pushing your brother over, and quit throwing things at him.

STOP PINCHING ME!!!! I swear to GOD I am going to jump out of my SKIN the next time you pinch my chest!


----------



## Evelynmia'smom

STOP F-ING THROWING FOOD for.the.love.of.god!!!! _please_ stop biting my nipples as well.....it hurts alot.


----------



## jrabbit

That's it. No more food for anyone! And I'm giving away ALL of your toys.


----------



## ~Charlie's~Angel~

Can we have a "feel like yelling at your husband" thread too?


----------



## lil_miss_understood

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
Can we have a "feel like yelling at your husband" thread too?









Lots of us seem to count them as an extra kid.


----------



## lil_miss_understood

DS1, I am perfectly aware you're not well and just got released from the hospital on Monday for appendicitis, but I AM NOT CHANGING THE RULES FOR YOU. You are NOT staying up until midnight, you are NOT watching TV all day, I still don't want you coming to "investigate" why the babies are freaking out if it happens in the morning because IT'S NOT HELPFUL. DS2 did NOT stop crying because you came to investigate. He stopped because he is fascinated with changing DS3's diaper. So get lost. I had every intention of trying to get them back to sleep and now DS2 WON'T because he knows YOU'RE AWAKE.

DS2, STOP IT. I would like to have my boob back at some point during the frigging day. You do not need to be attached EVERY SECOND that DS3 is not. I know you're still my baby. I know you're not a "big boy" and don't want to be one. I love you but you nurse at least twice as much as the 4 month old and it's pissing me off! Believe it or not, I HAVE OTHER THINGS I NEED TO DO BESIDES NURSE YOU.

DS3, You DO NOT need to sleep in my arms. I CANNOT sleep in the rocking chair every night and maintain anything resembling sanity. You CAN sleep in the bed with us. It's allowed. It's comfortable. You have a boob. LET ME FRIGGING SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: Oh yeah, and DH, just because you spent the weekend in the hospital with DS1 doesn't mean you win any kind of frigging medal. I spent the weekend at home with 2 sick little ones, when I wasn't at the hospital. I know you're tired. Welcome to my frigging world. Oh your sleep was interrupted all weekend? You POOR THING. WELCOME TO EVERY FRIGGING DAY OF MY LIFE. TRY SLEEPING IN A ROCKING CHAIR EVERY NIGHT. And I'm glad that the 6 hour nap you took when you and DS1 got home from the hospital really helped you but I've got a frigging NEWSFLASH: IT DOESN'T MEAN I GOT A NAP AT ALL AND I'M NOT GOING TO STAY UP WITH YOU UNTIL 2AM.


----------



## medicmama

Dear Male children of this house hold:

When you use the bathroom please stut the darn door,your friends don't need to see you peeing! If you both do not feel as if you can aim into the toilet please feel free to sit, I am sick of smelling pee every time I walk by the bathroom!

DS 2 Seriously you are 8....wipe you butt after pooping and flush!!!!! Oh and btw why do you decide every day at 6:15 during dinner you need to go to the bathroom? My cooking is not that bad! Wash your HANDS!!!!

DS 1 (9) The reason you don't have any clean clothes is because I only wash what goes into the laundry basket!! Pick your darn clothes up and put them in the basket. (It's that wicker round thing you have flipped over and have been useing as a drum)


----------



## AmyKT

2 yr old DD -- If you love me so much that no one else exists when I walk through the door, and I can't even have enough personal space to wash my hands or use the toilet, why oh why will you take a bath, wash your hands, or have your diaper changed for anyone else but me?! I'm starting to get a complex!


----------



## ~Charlie's~Angel~

Not yelling, just sad....

DS1, why on EARTH wont you say, Love you, mama?!?!?!?!?! All you ever say is love you, dada. and I am starting to feel hurt and rejected. It isnt NORMAL to be so cruel at the age of 24 months!


----------



## Erinz

EVERYONE JUST BEHAVE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!

whew. Feeling that as I typed it felt really freaking good. Thanks!


----------



## Devaya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
Not yelling, just sad....

DS1, why on EARTH wont you say, Love you, mama?!?!?!?!?! All you ever say is love you, dada. and I am starting to feel hurt and rejected. It isnt NORMAL to be so cruel at the age of 24 months!









Oh that sounds hard. I have a similar feeling when my 2 year old tells me to 'go away' and wants other adults (who he barely even knows and sometimes has never met before!) to play with him, instead of me









I'm having a pretty rough time at the moment with DS. I want to scream JUST GIVE ME TOO ******* MINUTES HERE all the time! and 'LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!'


----------



## chamomeleon

Oh. My. GOD!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE WHEN I AM ON THE PHONE. LEAVE ME ALONE WHEN I AM ON THE PHONE. LEAVE ME ALONE WHEN I AM ON THE PHONE!!!!!!

We have had 8,000 conversations about this. You are perfectly fine to do your own thing when I am not on the phone. But the 10 minutes per day when I am on the phone? No. Nope. No way. Pulling on the phone cord, pulling on my clothes, talking to me, playing music loudly, smashing play-doh onto the furniture.

LEAVE ME ALONE WHEN I AM ON THE PHONE!!!!!


----------



## chamomeleon

Hee. Erinz, I didn't even look at any of the other posts before I made mine. Looks like we're having similar weeks.


----------



## jrabbit

I really considered spanking/slapping you today. I'm glad I did resist the urge, but WHY WHY WHY WHY do you insist on being so mean and disrespectful to your sister and me? I just can't deal with you kindly when you push all of my buttons.


----------



## AFWife

Okay, so for the past few weeks you're fine to play by yourself and when I get used to that suddenly it's not working anymore???? WHY? You make no sense!!!


----------



## biennourri

STOP KICKING ME IN THE BELLY WHEN I TRY TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER OR WHEN WE ARE AT THE GROCERY STORE! THERE IS ANOTHER BABY IN THERE AND YOU ARE GOING TO HURT ONE OF US!! EAT YOUR FOOD YOURSELF, YOU HAVE DONE IT FOR OVER A YEAR, WHY DO YOU INSIST WE FEED YOU LIKE A BABY? GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR FOOD, STOP THROWING YOUR FOOD, GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF MY FOOD, STOP TRYING TO CLIMB OVER THE TABLE WHILE WE'RE EATING. NO, YOU'RE NOT WATCHING TV. GIVE ME SOME SPACE I DON'T WANT YOU TO HOLD ONTO ME WHILE I USE THE TOILET, I WANT A SHOWER WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE OR YOUR TOYS THROWN IN, AND I KEEP STEPPING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT UNDER MY FEET AS I TRY TO WALK! STOP BEING SO OBSTRUCTIONIST AND UNDOING EVERYTHING I'M TRYING TO DO. STOP THROWING TOYS UNDER MY FEET. STOP TRYING UNROLLING THE TOILET PAPER AND TRYING TO GET INTO THE KNIFE DRAWER AND OPEN THE OVEN. STOP TRYING TO GRAB THINGS ON THE COUNTER! STOP TRYING TO GET OUT OF YOUR CAR SEAT AND OUT OF THE CAR WHILE I'M DRIVING. YOU ARE TERRIFYING ME!!! PLEASE STOP TRYING TO HURT YOURSELF- I'M TRYING TO PROTECT YOU BUT I CAN'T ALWAYS BE ONE STEP AHEAD.

Now, thank you for all your cuddles and kisses and telling me you love me and that I'm pretty. Thank you for your beautiful smile and peals of laughter.


----------



## lynsage

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
Can we have a "feel like yelling at your husband" thread too?









Starting this thread in TAO!


----------



## ~Charlie's~Angel~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lynsage* 
Starting this thread in TAO!









How funny, I saw it over in TAO before I saw this. I thought it was just a coinkidink.


----------



## AileenM

How fun...my first post in GD (or at least my first in a couple of years) and it's a yelling post.









OK, Here goes:
I am sad. I am sad because Daddy is gone for 7 months and I'm trying to deal with the stress of being pregnant while he is deployed and I know you need more attention, but can you just GIVE ME A BREAK FOR 10 MINUTES WITHOUT CLIMBING ON THE TV OR HITTING THE DOG IN THE HEAD WITH THE DRUMSTICK OR DUMPING WATER ON THE LAMINATE OR COLORING WITH FREAKING CRAYON ON THE BRAND NEW PLASMA TV OR EATING PLASTIC BB'S OUT OF THE BACKYARD (stupid previous owners) OR TEARING TOILET PAPER TO SHREDS OR TRYING TO OPEN THE FRONT DOOR AND MAKE YOUR GREAT ESCAPE!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEAAAAASE LET ME HAVE A BREAK!!! I WANT MY SWEET LITTLE GIRL BACK, AND I DON'T LIKE THE GIRL WHO TELLS ME TO GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE ME!! I CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH AT ONE TIME!!!!

Whew! Thanks! I needed that!


----------



## amberskyfire

Stop screaming at me every time i get on the computer! Mommy has to work! She has to work so you can continue to eat yummy things! What is it about the computer that you hate so much? Just let me get my freaking work done for this *one* client and i will read you that book for the 2348563528735th time, i *promise*!

And stop using my nipple as a handle. I don't know how you always manage to grab it, even when you are not looking. Stop using my nipple to pull yourself up. It hurts and makes mommy cry!

And would it kill you to choose just *one* boobie to nurse from at a time? What is with the switching boobs every twenty seconds when you nurse? This isn't a wine tasting! Pick one boobie and stick with it for the love of pete! And *sit down* when you nurse! This isn't a gymnastics contest!!!


----------



## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
Not yelling, just sad....

DS1, why on EARTH wont you say, Love you, mama?!?!?!?!?! All you ever say is love you, dada. and I am starting to feel hurt and rejected. It isnt NORMAL to be so cruel at the age of 24 months!









My DS is still doing this to my mom. He won't even acknowledge her, he only wants Papa. She is starting to get a complex.









Now for mine...

DS, I KNOW you want milk. I KNOW you want more milk than I can possibly provide. I GAVE you milk. What??! You took 3 sips and you want MORE? YOU HAVE MORE!!!!! THERE IS MORE IN YOUR FRIGGING GLASS!!!! DRINK WHAT YOU HAVE!!! No, c'mon, don't throw a fit over it! The last 3/4 is just as tasty as the first 1/4! I can't frickin figure out what the problem is!! Why ARE YOU PLAYING THIS GAME WITH MY HEAD??!?!!!

And DD, could you SLEEP alone for like 10 MINUTES PLEASE?!?!?! Your dad and I have not even TALKED to each other, let alone cuddled or ANYTHING ELSE for almost a whole month! You wonder why mommy is so upset and high strung all the time?? You really want to know? Mommy is not getting any!!!!!


----------



## crabbyowl

OK, you're a year old now. (














) WHY MUST YOU STILL EAT AND SLEEP LIKE A NEWBORN???? CAN'T I EVEN GO OUT FOR LESS THAN 2 HOURS WITHOUT COMING BACK TO FIND YOU CRABBY BECAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY _AGAIN_?? IF YOU WOULD ONLY TAKE A BOTTLE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM!!!! OR IF YOU'D EAT MORE THAN MICROSCOPIC AMOUNTS OF SOLIDS!! THEY TASTE REALLY GOOD, I PROMISE!!!!









AND I WON'T EVEN GET STARTED ON HOW YOU SLEEP....


----------



## lurve

you are almost three. frickin sleep already. i am pregnant and anemic beyond all holy limits and i need sleep. dear god just sleep. you can't drop your nap and wake up at midnight and declare you are done sleeping. no. mama doesn't roll that way. this is what a non-happy mama looks like. you should see her tomorrow- she turns into a severely non-happy mama who is still anemic and who still hasn't had any sleep and who won't play or smile.

and DH, dear god stop sweeping right now. how do you think your daughter will ever fall asleep. you sound like an elephant. you don't realize that the sleeping meds really are affecting you and you are walking around like a drunken soldier.

am i the only one in this family that needs sleep?


----------



## jrabbit

come on! Just DO it already!!!

IF YOU WOULDN'T WHINE AND ARGUE, YOUR ROOM WOULD BE CLEAN ALREADY!


----------



## philomom

Teenage ds!

I asked and asked you not to take your Ipod to school... now it is missing.














Sigh... 150$ down the toilet.

Are you sure we can't wring their necks?


----------



## shanniesue2

Nipples are for nursing. Not pulling. Not biting. And definitely not for pinching with your tiny little finger nails. Can you please keep your arm out of my shirt for longer than 5 minutes?!?!?!?!?!?!?! They are my boobs, too, you know!!!


----------



## lurve

again, i come here to yell about your sleeping. mama is pregnant and anemic and can barely get up yet you get me up yet again at midnight. last time you were up till 4. if i leave you to play you scream so i can't sleep anyway. why can't you understand i don't feel well. i need some sleep. a normal person can't do what i am doing and i can't do it anymore. dear god you are almost three. i deserve more than two hours of sleep at a time. i give up. i give up.


----------



## amberskyfire

GET OUT OF MY FOOD!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE WHEN I AM EATING!!!
Mealtime is the only five minutes of the day when I get time to myself. When I sit down to eat, don't start climbing me. Keep your hands out of my plate and stop trying to pull it on the floor. No, you DO NOT need to see what is there, nor do you need to handle it with your fingers. Mommy will share with you if you ask, but I AM NOT A JUNGLE GYM!!!

NO, I will not nurse you when I am eating. NO, I will not read you a book when I am eating. NO, I will not get up and cook that meal for you that I just asked you if you wanted and you said you didn't, that you wanted grapes instead, so I gave you grapes.

I just washed your diapers, took you to the potty for the billionth time, cleaned up the water you spilled all over the floor, put away all of the folded clothes that you pulled out of the dresser, swept up the dog food you dumped out, cooked you three meals and innumerable snacks, got you a cup of water for the hundredth time, sang you songs, read your favorite book every ten minutes on the dot, took you out for a walk, dressed you (TWICE!), fixed your hair (THREE TIMES!), nursed your stuffed monkey, and pretended to be a horse.

THIS IS MOMMY'S EATING TIME!!! LET ME FREAKIN' EAT!!!!


----------



## sparkygirl74

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
GET OUT OF MY FOOD!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE WHEN I AM EATING!!!
Mealtime is the only five minutes of the day when I get time to myself. When I sit down to eat, don't start climbing me. Keep your hands out of my plate and stop trying to pull it on the floor. No, you DO NOT need to see what is there, nor do you need to handle it with your fingers. Mommy will share with you if you ask, but I AM NOT A JUNGLE GYM!!!

NO, I will not nurse you when I am eating. NO, I will not read you a book when I am eating. NO, I will not get up and cook that meal for you that I just asked you if you wanted and you said you didn't, that you wanted grapes instead, so I gave you grapes.

I just washed your diapers, took you to the potty for the billionth time, cleaned up the water you spilled all over the floor, put away all of the folded clothes that you pulled out of the dresser, swept up the dog food you dumped out, cooked you three meals and innumerable snacks, got you a cup of water for the hundredth time, sang you songs, read your favorite book every ten minutes on the dot, took you out for a walk, dressed you (TWICE!), fixed your hair (THREE TIMES!), nursed your stuffed monkey, and pretended to be a horse.

THIS IS MOMMY'S EATING TIME!!! LET ME FREAKIN' EAT!!!!

This is crazy! I don't remember writing this, yet here it is....descibing my life, lol.


----------



## leurMaman

Oh - I must subscribe to this one!

Here's mine:

Please, oh Please don't poop in your pants and pee in the bed. I didn't get any sleep last night. No throwing solid toys at my head.


----------



## Sarahfina

This thread is a good idea....

Please don't refuse to get your socks and boots on after swimming. I can't believe that after an incredibly fun HOUR together at the pool all you can do is refuse to listen and push my buttons! Can't you show some gratitude for the things I do for you??? Or at the very least just put your f**king socks and boots on so we can go?!!? Don't hit me when I drag you out without them. Some kids don't even have socks and boots all winter long. Do you want to walk all the way home with bare feet? We're never going to the pool again you ungrateful brat. Never. And I'm going to send your boots to some poor child who will appreciate them.

Whew. I just feel sad really- I have such a hard time with my DD's ability to go from joyful interactions to pushing buttons and being deviant. The switch happens instantly and I'm always shocked and unprepared to respond gently...


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sarahfina* 
This thread is a good idea....

Please don't refuse to get your socks and boots on after swimming. I can't believe that after an incredibly fun HOUR together at the pool all you can do is refuse to listen and push my buttons! Can't you show some gratitude for the things I do for you??? Or at the very least just put your f**king socks and boots on so we can go?!!? Don't hit me when I drag you out without them. Some kids don't even have socks and boots all winter long. Do you want to walk all the way home with bare feet? We're never going to the pool again you ungrateful brat. Never. And I'm going to send your boots to some poor child who will appreciate them.

Whew. I just feel sad really- I have such a hard time with my DD's ability to go from joyful interactions to pushing buttons and being deviant. The switch happens instantly and I'm always shocked and unprepared to respond gently...

Good gracious Lord, I know how you feel! I figured out a few years ago to always make a plan B. It keeps them happy until you can get them home. Before you go to the pool or anywhere fun, already have something mega cool planned for at home like baking sugar cookies and then let the kids decorate them. Then you just say something like "oh my gosh! We have to get these boots on fast so we can go decorate those cookies! How are you going to decorate yours? With butterflies? Ladybugs? I'll bet you can't make a princess crown!"

There's got to be something at home way better than what you are doing now or it's like dragging a bag of bricks (ANGRY bricks) behind you the whole way!


----------



## JamesMama

DD-

QUIT THROWING CRAP DOWN THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!! Just stop it, stop it now. I've told you 95 zillion times to NOT THROW TOYS DOWN THE STAIRS and you just KEEP doing it. We have mount toy-more at the bottom of the freaking steps. I'm sick of getting a laundry basket and hiking them up the stairs EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Plus you broke your brothers amublance and it was one of his favorite toys and we do not have the money to replace it and for 5 weeks I've been hearing about how his favorite toy is broken and there isn't a dang thing I can do about it! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DS-

Quit wasting food!!!!!!!!!!! Quit asking for something to eat and then when I fix it you waste it, it gets thrown away. We don't have the money to be making food for you to take 2 bites of. STOP IT!!!!!! If you ask for it EAT IT. I don't ever make you that big of servings (think 1/2 cup of cereal) because I KNOW you're just going to refuse to eat it but still! STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!

And another thing, will you PLEASE stop whining about the ambulance? Yes, I know your sister broke it. No, I don't know WHY she threw it down the stairs. No, it's not because she doesn't love you it's because she likes to see things tumble down the stairs. Yes, I realize it was your favorite toy. Yes, I realize it's broken. Yes, I know you want another one but really hon, there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. We don't have the money to go out and buy a brand new ambulance. You have a firetruck and a billion other cars, PLEASE play with those. Yes, I'm so very sorry it's broken. It breaks my heart to see you so upset over the damn thing but PLEASE stop whining about it. It's been like 5 weeks already, please stop.


----------



## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
GET OUT OF MY FOOD!!! GET OUT OF MY FACE WHEN I AM EATING!!!
Mealtime is the only five minutes of the day when I get time to myself. When I sit down to eat, don't start climbing me. Keep your hands out of my plate and stop trying to pull it on the floor. No, you DO NOT need to see what is there, nor do you need to handle it with your fingers. Mommy will share with you if you ask, but I AM NOT A JUNGLE GYM!!!

NO, I will not nurse you when I am eating. NO, I will not read you a book when I am eating. NO, I will not get up and cook that meal for you that I just asked you if you wanted and you said you didn't, that you wanted grapes instead, so I gave you grapes.

I just washed your diapers, took you to the potty for the billionth time, cleaned up the water you spilled all over the floor, put away all of the folded clothes that you pulled out of the dresser, swept up the dog food you dumped out, cooked you three meals and innumerable snacks, got you a cup of water for the hundredth time, sang you songs, read your favorite book every ten minutes on the dot, took you out for a walk, dressed you (TWICE!), fixed your hair (THREE TIMES!), nursed your stuffed monkey, and pretended to be a horse.

THIS IS MOMMY'S EATING TIME!!! LET ME FREAKIN' EAT!!!!

Hells Ya!!


----------



## AileenM

I am SO TIRED!!! I am making a baby, and need my rest! It is NOT OK to stay up until 11:00 playing and then expect me to wake up bright and early!! NOT FAIR!!! GO TO FREAKING SLEEP!!!


----------



## SkyMomma

DS1 - please stop grabbing your brother. stop taking his toys away. stop trying to carry him. when he makes that noise it means STOP, when he makes that noise it means STOP, WHEN HE MAKES THAT NOISE IT MEANS STOP!!!!

DS2 - please stop making that NOISE!


----------



## mamakah

I know you love your noisy push toy. I appreciate that you have mostly stopped ramming into my ankles with it. I think its cute that you gather my earrings, hair clips, etc and put them in you toy compartment. Please please please stop ramming it from a running start into our poor old dog. He can't handle it. No one ever hurts you, so you shouldn't hurt anyone. Also, come on, I know its frustrating when you can't pull it up the step in your room, but it does not warrant a blood curdling scream that makes me come running because I think you have lost a finger! Just chill and figure it out!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## maddycakes

DD:

NO!!!!!!!!! I will not let you take four or five of your stuffed animals and dolls into the car! You can take three. 1-2-3. That's it. I can't carry you, my briefcase, your lunchbag, AND a menagerie of those f***ing battery operated stupid dolls that your grandmother keeps buying you even though I tell her to stop. I HATE THOSE ANIMALS AND ALL THAT THEY STAND FOR so you're lucky any of them are making it into the car to begin with and not the trash. And why do you even like them so much...they're hard and plastic underneath, they're ugly and bordering on freaky. And stop the whining and crying when I say you can't bring more than three, OK? Give me a royal break. It's a lousy 8 minute drive to daycare -- you don't need all of them for that short of a drive. I would just love to go to work one morning where it's not a dramatic exit because you don't get what you want, where I am not about to trip down the stairs while trying to carry all this crap into the car.

DD's grandmother:

I hate these things you keep buying her. I hate that DD likes them. I hate that you are so smug because she likes them and you know I don't approve of them. Fill your own damn house with this crap, not mine. Because now I get to fight with her every morning about who can come in the car, and every night about who can sleep in her bed. Just stop buying this JUNK! You may not care about where these have to end up some day, but I do. If you can't afford your retirement because you wasted all of your hard earned money on these stupid toys, don't come complain to me. Buy her a library of books--I can live with that. But I HATE these stupid battery operated animals you keep buying her. So STOP IT already!!


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## JamesMama

DD- I'm beyond ecstatic that you are potty learning already. I'm beyond ecstatic that I don't even have to put a diaper on you when we're home. It's wonderful, it's awesome. You are such a smart girl to have figured this out with VERY LITTLE prompting from Mama. I really really really think you're wonderful. But for the love of all things sacred you do NOT need to strip off every scrap of clothing you're wearing to go potty. You CAN pee with your shirt on. You CAN go pee with your socks on, believe it or not it's possible. QUIT TAKING YOUR DANG CLOTHES OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST STOP IT!!!!!!!!!! Not because I care one way or the other but I'm REALLY sick and tired of having to dress you 18 times a day because you strip your clothes off. It's winter my dear, we can't afford to heat the house to sauna like proportions so yeah if it's 67* in here you're going to get cold with no clothes on, quit taking them off.

DS, Yup, we decided to get 'strict' with you. I'm sick and tired of you whining "Awww, we're having that AGAIN? I don't like that!" every.time.I.cook.supper. You don't like ANYTHING apparently. Guess what? Tough nuts. We have a limited food budget, your father has health issues, I can't make you spaghetti or ravioli every single night because that's all you'll eat. Your daddy can't eat tomato stuff for the time being. I'm not fixing 2 suppers so DEAL. Not only do I not have the TIME to cook 2 suppers we also don't have the money to fix 2 suppers. You can eat the stuff your father can eat without getting sick. I realize this is a LOT to place on the shoulders of a 4 y/o but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Someone in the family is sick so the rest of us have to make concessions, it sucks but that's how it works. Welcome to being part of a family...

So yup, you went to bed hungry last night. I fixed a perfectly good supper, you chose not to eat it. That's too dang bad that you were hungry 30 minutes later. I'm not going to fix you endless snacks because you don't 'like' what we're having for supper. You'll either figure it out or be hungry. Hope you enjoyed your supper of apple sauce. The biscuits, gravy, scrambled eggs and bacon was really quite good...you should have tried it with us.

(note, he has eaten biscuits and gravy happily in the past, he is just being picky because he wants spaghetti or ravioli because that's all I can get him to eat generally. DH is on very strong anti-rejection meds and a known side effect is some foods screwing with his stomach. He's unable to eat tomatoes right now...that includes spaghetti sauce, bbq sauce, ketchup, etc...I can't afford to make 2 suppers, I can't afford to use our 'lunch stuff' to make DS a separate supper (because then we wouldn't get lunch some days), I don't make stuff I KNOW they don't like but I can't make the stuff they do like right now.)


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## LilacMama

Why do you reject the food I make you and then EAT BITS OF CARPET, DIRT, AND PAPER OFF THE FLOOR?! You're going to CHOKE TO DEATH! STOP IT! STOP WHINING! PLAY BY YOURSELF FOR 5 MINUTES!!!! LEAVE MY BOOBS ALONE!!! STOP SQUIRMING CONSTANTLY!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


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## AileenM

You KNOW the rules in the library, but the moment we set foot in there, you turn into a WILD CHILD!!! I AM SO TIRED OF TELLING YOU TO COME HERE, DON'T KICK THAT, DON'T JUMP ON THAT!! DON'T YELL LIKE THAT IN THE LIBRARY!! This is where we use our INSIDE VOICES!!!! I swear, I am never taking you to the library AGAIN!!! I just want to get a book that I can read that doesn't involve pictures or rhymes or animals that teach a danged lesson!!! PLEASE LET ME HAVE 5 STINKING MINUTES TO FIND A BOOK!!!!!


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## elisheva

Almost-three-year-old-ds1: You are VERY lucky that when you BIT mommy today all she did was call you a brat (and she's not proud of it - it slipped out before she even knew what was happening) and strap you into your stroller. Once a freakin' week we go for a "mommy" walk where mommy actually gets some exercise instead of dawdling and cajoling you to walk along, too. Sit down, shut up, and enjoy being pushed in a stroller on a path next to the ocean! You even get a bag of chips at the cafe where we turn around. What the h%^& are you complaining about? I take your butt to the park every single day.

Ds2: I feel bad, but if letting you watch that damn video is the only way to keep you from clinging to my leg or shrieking madly from your high chair while I make meals, you can watch all you want. It's seriously unnatural for your voice to be able to go that loud and high. And stop freaking pulling my hair when you're in the backpack!


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## stacey0402

To ds:

Stop biting! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! The other parents think you're some overly indulged child with no boundaries and when you bite them you reconfirm it and add the additional layer that its my poor parenting that has made you this way. Its embarrassing!

To the parents of the kid he bit:

Quit looking at my kid that way! He's a sweet boy. You're a grown man and you sometimes cannot control your temper (your wife told me) and you expect my 2 year old to control himself at all times?!?!?! If you tell me that all he needs is a "good whoopin" one more time i will whoop you. I'd like to bite you myself.


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## denimtiger

Child, there is a REASON I told you to leave the potty chair in the bathroom! A REASON!! I know it works like a step-stool. But you CANNOT, CANNOT, CANNOT PEE in the freaking thing and then drag it into my bedroom to turn off a light that is ALREADY FREAKING OFF!!!! When I say NO, don't turn off the light, it MEANS NO!! I ALREADY TURNED OFF THE LIGHT. I realize I turned the lamp off by the lamp switch -- so we could go to sleep. You did not need to also turn the light off at the wall switch AND SPILL PEE ON THE CARPET IN THE PROCESS. Pee that I don't even know how to clean up without hurting myself, since I am barely out of the hospital recovering from an appendectomy.

Just FREAKING trust that the light is off, by virture of it being dark, and snuggle down and GO TO SLEEP!!!! (And LEAVE THE POTTY SEAT IN THE BATHROOM. FOREVER AND EVER!)


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## jamiew

STOP RUNNING INTO THE STREET!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT???? IT'S NOT SAFE, YOU'LL GET HURT, IT'S DANGEROUS! STOP IT!!!

DON'T RUN OUT OF THE GROCERY STORE BEFORE WE'RE READY TO LEAVE, I'M NOT READY TO GO YET! STAY HERE!! DON'T RUN OUT, DON'T RUN OUT!

Shoooweee. I feel better.


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## 77589

Attn: DD1&2
AAAAHHHHH!!! STAY OUT OF THE ROOM WHEN I'M TRYING TO PUT THE BABY DOWN!!!!!! DON'T BANG ON THE DOOR AFTER I'VE PUT THE BABY DOWN!!!!!!!! LAY DOWN AND TAKE A NAP!!!!! STOP SCREAMING!!!!!! DON'T HIT YOUR SISTER!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T BITE YOURSELF!!!!! DON'T BITE ME!!!!! STOP SCRATCHING HER!!!! LEAVE HER SEAT ALONE!!!!!! FOR PETE'S SAKE TAKE THE NAP YOU NEED TO TAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Attn: DD3
please sleep baby, before mama loses her mind today.......

wow you're right that does feel better.....


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## elisheva

OMG if you wake your brother up again when I've JUST PUT HIM DOWN FOR HIS NAP, it will not be pretty. If you want me to do fun activities with you, like making cupcakes, DON'T RUN DOWN THE HALL AND WAKE HIM UP!!! I'm seeing red about this. You really can't push me any farther before I completely lose my mind. It's bad enough that you've given up your own naps!


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## jackson'smama

to oldest ds:

I SWEAR THAT IF YOU DON'T STOP WHINING ABOUT EVERY.SINGLE.THING IN YOUR LIFE THAT I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE. I WILL UNDO ALL THE BAD PARENTING I'VE EVER DONE WHICH INCLUDES PACKING UP EVERY TOY, EVERY DVD, EVERY VHS, UNPLUGGING THE TV AND CALLING DISH AND HAVING IT CUT OFF PERMANENTLY. I WILL THROW OUT EVERY MINT, EVERY MARSHMALLOW AND EVERY PIECE OF GUM. STOP BOTHERING YOUR BROTHER. STOP HOGGING EVERY TOY IN THE HOUSE. STOP INSISTING ON HAVING YOUR WAY EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. STOP WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT INSISTING SOMEONE SLEEP WITH YOU. STOP WAKING UP BEFORE THE CRACK OF DAWN. STOP ASKING FOR EVERY TOY YOU SEE. LISTEN. JUST LISTEN. ONE TIME. PLEEEEAAAASSSSSSEEEE!!!!!

to youngest ds:
IF YOU DON'T STOP ASKING FOR NEENEES EVERY TIME YOU SEE MY FACE I WILL CUT THEM OFF. YOU ARE TWO YEARS OLD - NOT AN INFANT. LEAVE THEM ALONE. PLEASE.

to both of you:
FIND SOMETHING TO DO. YOU HAVE A MILLION TOYS AND A PLAYROOM. PLEASE GO PLAY. FOR FIVE MINUTES.

it's all i can do not to say this IRL. i'm going insane today.


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## mamakah

Stop! Standing! On! The dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## amberskyfire

FOR PETE'S SAKE, STOP STANDING ON MY FEET!!! WHY do you always have to stand on my feet?!! It hurts! You are HEAVY and you CRUSH MY TOES!! I have to tell you A MILLION TIMES A DAY to stop doing it! I realize you are little, but are you COMPLETELY incapable of controlling yourself?!?!

GET OFF MY FEET! GET OFF MY FEET! STOP STANDING ON MY FREAKING FEEEEETTTT!!!!!


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## InMediasRes

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
FOR PETE'S SAKE, STOP STANDING ON MY FEET!!! WHY do you always have to stand on my feet?!! It hurts! You are HEAVY and you CRUSH MY TOES!! I have to tell you A MILLION TIMES A DAY to stop doing it! I realize you are little, but are you COMPLETELY incapable of controlling yourself?!?!

GET OFF MY FEET! GET OFF MY FEET! STOP STANDING ON MY FREAKING FEEEEETTTT!!!!!

Oh my gosh, my DS does this ALL THE TIME and it drives me crazy. He even did it when I broke my toe and my whole foot was purple. I just about threw him out a window every time he did it.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~

Get out from under my feet! Can I do something, ANYTHING, without you being RIGHT.UNDER.MY.FEET! SHUT UP, SHUTUP! For the LOVE OF GOD, SHUT THE HECK UP!!!! My head is spinning and my ears are ringing, SHUT UP!!!!!

Can i get any commiseration or empathy for actually yelling a little bit this morning? I was on my absolute LAST NERVE and both children were swinging from it like monkeys on a vine!







I try so hard to keep it together, but some days thats almost impossible.


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## sgmom

I want so badly to be a part of this thread, but I can't think of anything I want to yell about!! Can I yell at my dog instead? He's kind of a pain when he's feeling playful but we can't go outside just yet...


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## Surfacing

: This thread is great. Dd1 does the foot standing thing too.

Lately my yelling has been out loud, not on this thread.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Surfacing* 







: This thread is great. Dd1 does the foot standing thing too.

Lately my yelling has been out loud, not on this thread.

Oh thank goodness I am not the only one. FEWWWWWWWW


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## iamama

Dh- i really do not need a whole kitchen full of dishes to remind me that i was not at home for dinner last nite


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## wrappedupmama

SHUT UP!!! I need at least 20 minutes of peace per day to not go insane.

Nearly 4 year old DD: Stop standing, jumping, and sitting on the boppy. It flattens it and makes it usuless for nursing. Get off of your borther's playmat. Your dirty feet and bare butt do not need to be on a his stuff. When your brother is screaming please stop covering your ears and in a horrible whining tone start screaming repeatedly at the top of your lungs "HE'S TOO LOUD, HE'S TOO LOUD, IT HURTS MY EARS!!!" You only add to my mommy's frustration and are NOT helping your brother calm down. Please stop climbing all over your dad and me. You are rough and hurt us. We are not jungle gyms. It is OKAY to make mistakes. Just because you accidentally made a tiny brown mark in a spot you wanted to color yellow doesn't mean you need to have a complete meltdown. GET OVER IT!!! So the children's museum was closing and you had to leave. Don't hold it against me and bring it up for an entire week. I had no choice but to leave, they were trying to lock the doors and we were the last people out!!! You hold grudges way too well for a 3 year old. Just please start letting your frustrations go. You are the crankiest child I know. When you are upset, please stop asking me to "make" you calm down. I've rubbed your back, put on music, tried to read a story, feed you, offer you a new toy, a happy new activity, listen to you, etc. I've done all I can, it's YOUR job to calm down. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! Stop yelling suddenly after you've been sitting there quietly. It scares your newborn brother! Yes I know you think he's cute, but he does not like his cheeks pinched and entire face grabbed. You CAN NOT jump over your brother like he's a log!!! Stop saying "WHAT?" to everything I say to you. You heard me! We've been over this. It's not nice to act like you didn't hear me and make me repeat myself 12 times. Just listen and do it. Just because your brother is nursing, doesn't mean you need to. I'm ready to wean you, but will wait for you to be ready yourself since I know how important breastfeeding is.

Baby DS: Please try to be mellow. I know you are more mellow than your sister, and I am truly grateful for every bit you've been easier than her, but you are still high needs. You really do not need to sleep on me continuously. When you're in a deep sleep it is okay for mommy to put you down, please don't wake up. Yes I know you hate the swing, etc. You only like your playmat and even that you'll barely use. Please try to gain some interest in things other than me. You do not need either my finger or breast in your mouth continuously. I'm happy you sometimes are very interested in EC, but why are you most insistent first thing in the morning and in the middle of the night. Yes you need to pee. Go in your diaper. I'm tired, go to sleep. I don't always want to potty you at 4 in the morning!!

To both of you: Coordinate your sleep! If one of you stays up until midnight then the other can not insist on waking up at 7 in the morning. Especially since I've been up many times in the night nursing and pottying the baby. Your daddy has a long commute and we don't see him much. I really don't get enough breaks from you two. Sleep, please sleep. Let me take a shower without hearing screaming the whole time! I just need a little bit of time for mommy each day or I will lose my mind!


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## lil_miss_understood

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wrappedupmama* 
SHUT UP!!! I need at least 20 minutes of peace per day to not go insane.

Nearly 4 year old DD: Stop standing, jumping, and sitting on the boppy. It flattens it and makes it usuless for nursing. Get off of your borther's playmat. Your dirty feet and bare butt do not need to be on a his stuff. When your brother is screaming please stop covering your ears and in a horrible whining tone start screaming repeatedly at the top of your lungs "HE'S TOO LOUD, HE'S TOO LOUD, IT HURTS MY EARS!!!" You only add to my mommy's frustration and are NOT helping your brother calm down. Please stop climbing all over your dad and me. You are rough and hurt us. We are not jungle gyms. It is OKAY to make mistakes. Just because you accidentally made a tiny brown mark in a spot you wanted to color yellow doesn't mean you need to have a complete meltdown. GET OVER IT!!! So the children's museum was closing and you had to leave. Don't hold it against me and bring it up for an entire week. I had no choice but to leave, they were trying to lock the doors and we were the last people out!!! You hold grudges way too well for a 3 year old. Just please start letting your frustrations go. You are the crankiest child I know. When you are upset, please stop asking me to "make" you calm down. I've rubbed your back, put on music, tried to read a story, feed you, offer you a new toy, a happy new activity, listen to you, etc. I've done all I can, it's YOUR job to calm down. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY!!! Stop yelling suddenly after you've been sitting there quietly. It scares your newborn brother! Yes I know you think he's cute, but he does not like his cheeks pinched and entire face grabbed. You CAN NOT jump over your brother like he's a log!!! Stop saying "WHAT?" to everything I say to you. You heard me! We've been over this. It's not nice to act like you didn't hear me and make me repeat myself 12 times. Just listen and do it. Just because your brother is nursing, doesn't mean you need to. I'm ready to wean you, but will wait for you to be ready yourself since I know how important breastfeeding is.

Baby DS: Please try to be mellow. I know you are more mellow than your sister, and I am truly grateful for every bit you've been easier than her, but you are still high needs. You really do not need to sleep on me continuously. When you're in a deep sleep it is okay for mommy to put you down, please don't wake up. Yes I know you hate the swing, etc. You only like your playmat and even that you'll barely use. Please try to gain some interest in things other than me. You do not need either my finger or breast in your mouth continuously. I'm happy you sometimes are very interested in EC, but why are you most insistent first thing in the morning and in the middle of the night. Yes you need to pee. Go in your diaper. I'm tired, go to sleep. I don't always want to potty you at 4 in the morning!!

To both of you: Coordinate your sleep! If one of you stays up until midnight then the other can not insist on waking up at 7 in the morning. Especially since I've been up many times in the night nursing and pottying the baby. Your daddy has a long commute and we don't see him much. I really don't get enough breaks from you two. Sleep, please sleep. Let me take a shower without hearing screaming the whole time! I just need a little bit of time for mommy each day or I will lose my mind!

Couldn't have said it better myself. I LOVE YOU!!


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## mamabearsoblessed

STOP PINCHING AND SCRATCHING WHEN YOU'RE NURSING!!!!! YOU'RE 2 FOR PETE'S SAKE! STOP PINCHING MEANS STOP PINCHING!!!!
STOP TRYING TO WIPE MY BUTT WHILE I'M ON THE POTTY AND MAKING 'YUCK' NOISES WHILE I'M SITTING THERE, IT WAS CUTE THE FIRST 50 TIMES~ NOW IT'S JUST RUDE~ CAN I JUST PEE ALONE? A CRAP WOULD BE EVEN BETTER!!!!!

STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER IN THE PENIS!! FOR GOD 'S SAKE I WANT GRANDCHILDREN AND YOUR POOR BROTHER NEEDS HIS PENIS FOR MANY THINGS~ STOP PUNCHING KICKING NAILING AND STEPPING ON [email protected]! STOP PICKING UP THE BABY WHEN SHE SCREECHES NO AND BEATS YOU IN THE FACE TAKE A HINT! STOP FAKE CRYING!!!!

STOP CLOTHESLINING YOUR SISTERS! STOP PUNCHING TACKLING AND DRAGGING THEM TO THE GROUND LIKE RUNNINGBACKS! STOP TRYING TO GET THE DOG TO PASS HIS COLLAR'S PERIMETER~ HE IS NOT STUPID AND NO AMOUNT OF CHEESE ON THE PLANET WILL ENTICE HIM TO BE JOLTED BY HIS INVISIBLE FENCE!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE! i WOULDN'T BLAME HIM IF HE BIT ANY OF YOU~ I WANT TO BITE YOU MYSELF!

PLEASE SLEEP. jUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SLEEP.

DH~ 1 VISIT TO CVS IN 7 MONTHS DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A 'NIGHT OUT' NOR DOES IT SPEAK 'ALONE TIME' NEITHER DOES THE ROOT CANAL I HAD 2 WEEKS AGO OR THE PTO MEETING I HAVE TO RUN. NO I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX~ ASK YOUR BUDDIES 3 TIMES A WEEK "IS' ALOT!!

TO THE OTHER PTO MEMBERS~ SHUT THE &%^5 UP AND STOP BICKERING~ I SWEAR I'M GONNA WALK. AND TO THE PRINCIPAL~ YOU AND I ARE THE SAME AGE, YOU HAVE A FIRST NAME AND SO DO I! DON'T INSINUATE WE ALL MUST CALL YOU MR. TO SHOW RESPECT.

H1N1~ PLEASE FINISH UP HERE AND GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!

WHEW... That felt goog.

and to my babies and dh~ I love you all~ you are my life.


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## Momma Moo Martin

DD - Is there a reason why you scream like I'm killing you any time I try to change your diaper or dress you for the day? Does it really bother you THAT much to have a clean butt? Please stop throwing your head back in tantrums and smashing my collarbone! Please don't pinch my stomach or bite my nipples when you nurse! The yelling is too much...I just want to read my Mothering magazine!







Why can't you just play nice and not scream?!? Good grief!

DH - Can you please grow up and realize that your stress is understandable but that you are not here at home with a screaming kid all day and all night?!? Can you stop pouting and making up excuses about what you have to get done when I say I want some alone time? Can you stop trying to make me feel guilty about ASKING for alone time - I know that's what you're trying to do! Just so you know, when I am trying to put our screaming, whining kiddo down for bed and I can hear your video games through the wall it really irks me! You have a hard day and need to relax? Fine. But I get to relax maybe once a month so I think you having to do it each night is ridiculous. Also, please get up when you are supposed to in the morning! I know you were up all night talking to your buddies and playing video games - STOP IT! Be responisble and don't be late for work. How selfish can you be, seriously? Grrrrr.


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## Labbemama

I am at the library because my head is splitting and you kids won't shut up and you even invited a friend over. When I got to the library there were more screaming kids outside the doors (not mine, Thank GOD) SO here I am got to the library the freaking computers didn't work at first, finally got logged on nobody's got their darn ID card so I have to vouch that they are my kids and I want them on the computers and it's 7 minutes until they close.

Please please library do not close I need a quiet place.


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## sapphire_chan

Could you be happy hanging with mama A for like 3 hours? Please? Just once a week would give me my sanity back and make me a million times more awesome when we're together.


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## butterfly_mommy

DS I know I couldn't wait to hear the word Mama said in the sweet baby voice of my child but do you seriously have to say it 10 MILLION TIMES A DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhh WHAT WHAT WHAT DO YOU WANT???????????????? Also could you please just let your father who is way more patient and cool headed then mama put you to bed, just once a week? I can't stand the squirming, fidgeting and fighting of sleep that you do for an hour every night! I need some frakin me time dam it!


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## AmyKT

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. I get that you miss me during the week, but I can't help it. I'm the only one with an income. We kept your dad home because he didn't make as much or have insurance. You have one of us here at all times, but I still feel like I'm breaking you. But when I'm here, I'm here. Ok, this isn't so much a yell as a whimper. So here's my yell:

Can I please have just a little personal space for about 5 minutes! I'm not going anywhere until tomorrow morning!

I'm sorry. Come here and I'll hold you. I'm here. Damnit. I often wish I could be here more, but I think if I were here all the time I'd go crazy.


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## nudhistbudhist

DS 1 year old: STOP PULLING MY DREADS!!!! STOP SAYING OWWWW BEFORE YOU PULL THEM, BECAUSE THEN I KNOW ITS NOT AN ACCIDENT!!!! STOP SAYING HURTS AND THEN PINCHING MY BOOBS THROUGH MY SHIRT. STOP KICKING ME IN THE STOMACH WHEN I'M TRYING TO PUT YOU TO SLEEP. YOUR UNBORN SISTER STARTS KICKING ME TOO WHEN YOU DO THIS AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP!!!! STOP ASKING FOR MATCHES. THEY ARE DADDY'S TO MAKE A FIRE WITH TO KEEP US WARM SINCE ITS -20 OUT ALREADY AND ITS NOT EVEN WINTER YET. STOP ASKING ME TO NURSE YOUR DOLL AND DONKEY 10 MILLION TIMES A DAY. STOP CLIMBING ON THE TABLE TO TURN THE STEREO ON. STOP PULLING THE OUTLET COVERS OFF. LEAVE THE FURNACE VENTS IN THE FLOOR- I'M GOING TO BREAK MY ANKLE ONE DAY!!! ATOP TRYING TO SWIPE STEAK KNIVES OUT OF THE DISHWASHER- AND STOP EATING FOOD OUT OF THE DISHWASHER WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!!

DH- WHEN I NEED TO SLEEP IN, FEED THE *&^%ING COW SO SHE STOPS BAWLING OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM WINDOW OR I'M SENDING HER FOR HAMBURGER.

whewww that felt good.


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## lil_miss_understood

ds2- yes, there is a new computer in the living room. no that doesn't mean you get to @%$^4 with it. LEAVE IT ALONE.

ds3- i get it, you're teething. stop drooling all over me. please let me frigging put you down and get somethib=ng domne and for cripes sake, at least STOP KICKING MY KEYBOARD

DS1- CLEAN UP. WE HAVE A LIST OF YOUR CHORES ON THE WALL, STOP FRIGGING ASKING ME IF YOU NEED TO DO IT. IF IT'S ON THE LIST YOU HAVE TO DOIT. STOP ASKING ME TO DETAIL IN MINUTAE HOW TO CLEAN YOUR FRIGGING ROOM. IT'S YOUR [email protected] TEDDY BEAR, YOU FIGURE OUT WHERE IT GOES. STOP ASKING EVERY 5 MINUTES IF YOU CAN PLAY GAMES, GO TO YOUR FRIENDS, WATCH SHOWS ETC ESPECIALLY IF YOUR CHORES AREN'T DONE. AND STOP TEACHING DS2 BAD CRAP... I DO NOT WANT HIM CLIMBING, BANGING HAMMERS ON RANDOM CRAP, TAKING THINGS APART


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## karma_momma

I am TIRED of fighting with you. Asking you to eat the food you asked for, put away your shoes, taking the elderberry syrup. Can you once just say ok mom and do what I asked!!! I dont want to explain it anymore!


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## caj

"CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES!? 5 MINUTES THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING."
" I DON'T NEED TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH YOU ALL DAY"
"NO YOU CAN'T GO TO THE BASEMENT, DADDY'S WORKING DOWNSTAIRS AND YOU KNOW HE IS SO DON'T ACT AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING."
"YOU ARE STAYING WITH GRANDMA FOR 3 HOURS NOT FOREVER, GET OVER IT"
"YOU'VE BEEN READING THE SAME BOOK FOR THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. AND YES I KNOW HOW IT ENDS, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO OBSESSIVE??"
"STOP STANDING ON YOUR HEAD AND NO I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU DOING IT ANYMORE!"
"YES I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU EVERY 5 MINUTES THAT I DO"

DH: "I'M YOUR WIFE NOT YOUR MAID"
"I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX, WHY?? BECUASE I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT I'M TIRED. NO, YOU DON'T GROSS ME OUT, NO I DON'T THINK YOU'RE AN OLD ***. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!"
"NO I DON'T WANT TO WATCH THE BASEBALL GAME, I DON'T LIKE BASEBALL AND YOU KNOW IT SO STOP ASKING"
"STOP BUYING A WII GAME EVERY WEEEEK!!!! I HATE IT WHEN YOU WASTE MONEY LIKE THAT!"
"C'MON YOU UNDERSTAND SPANISH SO STOP PRETENDING YOU DON'T HAVE AN IDEA"

that's felt good


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## nudhistbudhist

there's more today

LAY DOWN! LAY DOWN! STOP MOVING. YOU CAN'T SLEEP WHEN YOU ARE DOING HANDSTANDS. STOP PINCHING MY BOOS. STOP SAYING PSSSS YOU JUST PEED TWO MINUTES AGO. LAY DOWN!! GO TO SLEEP. NO DRINK. YOU JUST HAD A DRINK AND BOOS. STOP KICKING ME. GO TO SLEEP. LAY DOWN DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!

DH: thank you for making me a bath







sorry for yelling about the cow earlier.


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## WindyCityMom

DD, Stop saying "I'm sorry" every time I say "ow". I'm pregnant. I hurt alot!

DD2 in my belly: Please, oh please, stop rolling on my cervix and wedging your toes in my ribs. Please.


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## Labbemama

DS-14 could you PUHLEEEEEEZE remember your house key. I have to pick your sister up and it will not kill you to sit outside for 10 minutes and wait for me since you were not prepared this morning.

DD-16-The way you acted this morning was despicable and I will not take your verbal abuse or throwing a cup at my head. And YOU want me to bring YOU the stuff YOU forgot this morning due to having your temper tantrum to school? Are you kidding me? After calling me the C*word? You must be out of your mind, child. Oh btw I scheduled your well woman exam, it is at 8 am tomorrow on late start day you are getting up early --obviously you do need some kind of hormonal therapy.


----------



## Leilalu

please just lets sit down and do our homeschool work. I let you dictate our whole morning, let you play your video games, and fed you ALL DAY LONG. Ad if you ask me for candy or cheese one more time one of you may go out the window!


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## Farore

Why, why, WHY do you insist on destroying my house?! Just because the wallpaper seams aren't laying perfectly flat doesn't mean you should pick at them and leave giant tears on my wall! While you're at it, would you PLEASE stop pulling on the curtains and writing on the walls?

I need to nurse your sister. Please quit making me unlatch her to stop you. Could you for once do what I ask the first time?

And stop picking my skin!


----------



## April Dawn

Dear little boy: I know you are learning to use your hands to grab things, and that's exciting, but for the love of pete PLEASE stop pulling my hair!!! It HURTS!!!

Whew. Thanks! This thread is genius!


----------



## prairiebird

OMG. Stay out of the darned fridge!!!! That was 4 cups of shredded taco cheese you just dumped all over the floor.


----------



## JamesMama

DD, I know it was HILARIOUS when mama got sick and had to throw up in a bucket but STOP DRAGGING MY MIXING BOWLS AND PANS OUT AND 'PUKING' IN THEM!!!!!!!!!!! All you do is spit in them and that requires me to wash them. You're not sick you're just being a nerd. STOP IT.

Both of you, No you may not have 10 vitamins a day. You get 2, the bottle says TWO you get TWO. That's it. Yes, you did so have one today I distinctly remember giving you one so stop your flipping lying. No you're not having another vitamin. NO NO NO NO NONO!!!!

DD, I'll give you 2 options, either leave your diaper on and pee in that or put undies on and go on the toilet. You KNOW HOW TO USE THE TOILET you've been doing it for 5 months now so KEEP IT THE FREAK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quit pissing on my floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DS, SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH just stop jabbering. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to hear Fake It or You Belong With Me or Picture to Burn for the 9 billionth time today just SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH for the love of God quit talking for 35 seconds. PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## JamesMama

Nother one...

DS,

Your sister doesn't feel well today. She's grumpy, she's tired...she's SICK. Please quit taunting her. Quit pretenting to take her food, please quit taking her toys, please gloating that you have the red bowl, quit asking to drink out of her sippy cup, JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!! You're just upseting her and making her cry. She doesn't feel well, she's not in the mood for your crap today. Leave her alone.


----------



## jewelsJZ

DS1, for God sakes stop screaming at every single thing that frustrates you, stop using awful words that your now 3 y.o. sister is using. Thanks. THanks a lot. Use your coping skills! We've been working on this for 3 years now! Do you think once, just once, you could ask for help or walk away or take deep breaths instead of throwing things/screaming every time!?!
For God sakes, I am trying to work on my resume so I can look for a job at night or on weekends so I can pay to get you back in therapy so you will stop acting like this at least part of the time. Yet I have to keep stopping what I am doing because you are throwing things, screaming, knocking over your baby brother's toys just because you are mad that glue didn't dry fast enough???!!!!! Give me a freakin' break! I have been doing crafts and activities with you all afternoon, can I not just have a few minutes on the computer to try to work on getting a job? You've just broken the gate on the stairs by having a fit because you can't work the hole puncher. How am I supposed to keep your baby brother from going upstairs until Dad gets home and can fix the gate? Will you just &*#&$% CALM DOWN?!!!!! If you go through life angry at everyone and everything all the time, it is going to be a long, hard life. Why is it that you only have one response to everything that happens-----ANGER???? Why is that?


----------



## *Robin*

STOP YELLING!! JUST STOP!! DON'T YELL AT ME; DON'T SCREAM AT ME! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! AND DON'T KICK THE DOG! DON'T KICK THE DOG!! DON'T KICK THE F^$%#*% DOG!!!

I feel a little better now... Thanks!


----------



## MummaLitt

Leave the dishwasher alone! Stop trying to ride the cat! Get off the table! Stop kicking me in the stomach! Stop kicking me in the head! Stop crying like I just pulled your arm off just cause I took the boob away! You're a big boy now, you don't NEED the boob anymore. And it HURTS! I just want a few months of my boobs being my own!


----------



## GinnyMama

This thread is wonderful. Except now I'm scared of what's to come!


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## Farore

Your poor baby sister is overtired and distraught because you NEVER. LET. HER. SLEEP. She barely gets 5 minutes before someone screams at the top of his lungs or touches her head or puts a knee in her tummy while trying to climb on my lap. I know you need me too, but if you would just SHUT UP for a bit she would take a nap and you could have me all to yourselves. Please let her sleep!


----------



## Xx5Xy0

STOP FIGHTIGN WITH EACH OTHER....STOP PICKING ON YOUR SISTER... LET ME FEED THE BABY AND THEN YOU CAN HAVE MY ATTENTION AGAIN! IF YOU HIT YOUR SISTER ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO SCREAM AND YOU'LL SIT IN THE CORNER UNTIL YOUR DADDY COMES HOME (just before they go to bed, lots of help there *eyeroll*). PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just play nicely with each other, stop antagonizing each other, STOP whining... and just... be little girls instead of two demon possessed hellions that you seem to turn into everytime I have to do anything that takes my attention away from you for more than two seconds (and don't let the phone ring because then all hell breaks loose)

Though to be honest, today is better than other days even considering I have a sinus headache that hurts all the way down to the middle of my back and would much rather be in bed than cleaning my house (even if they are helping me... for the most part... with the cleaning)


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## Xx5Xy0

To DH.... Its probably a good thing that I was too ill to realise yesterday was our anniversary, otherwise you not coming home till 830pm would have SERIOUSLY ticked me off. However, when I tell you that I've been sick and if I'm feeling worse the next day I'd make myself an appointment and he would have to come home and sit with the kids while I was there.... DON'T YOU DARE act like I'm a freaking inconvenience. Obviously you are married to the Army and I'm nothing more than a housemate who bears your children. I'M YOUR DAMN WIFE AND YOU WANTED THESE GIRLS TOO!!! In 5 years these soldiers that you are so gung-ho to break your back for AREN'T GOING TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!! However.... at the rate you're going, the girls and I may not be here in 5 years either!

You asked me once if things were more important to me than people (I had a severe retail-therapy problem while he was deployed).... well here's my question... is money more important to you than your family? You have us saving ourself into the daily poor house so we can retire.... TWENTY FREAKING YEARS FROM NOW AFTER YOU RETIRE FROM YOUR TEACHING JOB THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE YET BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVE 5 MONTHS BEFORE YOU CAN RETIRE FROM THE ARMY, however we both know you'll stay longer than 20!!! Seriously dear, it is more than apparent that you love your job more than me... not to say you don't love me, but I am obviously not at the top of your list.

On my Christmas gift list I asked for a commitment from you to be home before dinner ONE WORKNIGHT A WEEK and you start laughing and telling me how that isn't possible and blah blah blah. Do you not realise that I don't have to take this? That I can choose to leave and create a life of my own. Yes it would be hard because I now have 5 children... but you know what, it can't be any harder than it is right now.

UGH my head hurts so bad right now that I can't even finish this rant without wanting to scream more!


----------



## amberskyfire

STOP TWIDDLING MY OTHER NIPPLE WHEN YOU NURSE!! I'm sick and tired of having to fight you off the entire time you are getting bow-boos. KNOCK IT OFF! I can't stand you trying to twiddle twiddle twiddle all the time. This is why Mommy's feet hurt. I CAN'T SIT DOWN ANYMORE! I swear, I am going to be the first woman in history to chew my own boob off to escape!


----------



## wookie

To Ds2 (6mo): I know you're teething, just started solids so maybe having a tummy ache or something but do you HAVE to wake up ervery hour on the hour ALL night long??? And then what did you need me to do for you? You didn't want to nurse, didn't want to be rocked, didn;t want to be burped, didn't....! UGH. I'm soooooooo tired.









Ds1 (3.5y): OMG! STOP KICKING MY COMFORTOR OFF! IF MY COZY NEST IS NOT THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE FOR YOU SLEEP IN YOUR OWN BED!!! DON'T COME CRAWLING INTO MY BED AT 3AM AND WANT TO DESTROY MY COOCOON. OR SLEEP ON THE FLOOR. I HAVEN'T SLEPT BECAUSE OF YOUR BROTHER ANYWAY AND I DON'T WANT MY 12 MINS OF SLEEP INTERRUPTED BY YOU. THE BABY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THINGS but can I sometimes expect you to?

Bleh :yawning


----------



## ginadc

Quote:

STOP TWIDDLING MY OTHER NIPPLE WHEN YOU NURSE!! I'm sick and tired of having to fight you off the entire time you are getting bow-boos. KNOCK IT OFF! I can't stand you trying to twiddle twiddle twiddle all the time.
Oh my goddess YES!!!!! A thousand times yes. No matter how hard you twist it, you're not going to dial up Radio Free Europe! And stop crumpling up your face into Tragedy Mask and weeping like I've just taken away all the joy in the world when I take your nipple-twisting hand away. You're still getting num-nums, so what's the problem?


----------



## babeak

FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME STOP REACHING UP AND GRABBING THINGS OFF OF THE COUNTERS AND THE TABLE!!!! THE TOP OF THE TALL BOOKCASE IS ONLY 1x2 ft!!! I CAN NOT FIT ALL OF THE KNIVES, DISHES, SCISSORS, GLASSES, IMPORTANT PAPERS, PENS, CRAYONS, VITAMINS, etc. UP THERE!!!

PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT TODAY. I AM TIRED OF GUESSING WHY THE VACUUM CLEANER IS DISTRESSING YOU WHILE I AM IN TRAFFIC ON ICY ROADS.

Edited for Oops one more... and a typo

MAKE UP YOUR FRICKIN' MIND and QUIT CHANGING YOUR MIND. PICK ONE OR THE OTHER AND THAT IS THAT!!! UGH!!! I CAN'T GUESS WHICH ONE YOU WANT AND IF I TRY IT IS NEVER THE ONE YOU DON'T WANT. PLEASE STOP THIS, please.

Okay, that is better.


----------



## webjefita

Quote:


Originally Posted by *babeak* 
FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME STOP REACHING UP AND GRABBING THINGS OFF OF THE COUNTERS AND THE TABLE!!!! THE TOP OF THE TALL BOOKCASE IS ONLY 1x2 ft!!! I CAN NOT FIT ALL OF THE KNIFES, DISHES, SCISSORS, GLASSES, IMPORTANT PAPERS, PENS, CRAYONS, VITAMINS, etc. UP THERE!!!

PLEASE DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THINGS OUT OF CONTEXT TODAY. I AM TIRED OF GUESSING WHY THE VACUUM CLEANER IS DISTRESSING YOU WHILE I AM IN TRAFFIC ON ICY ROADS.

Okay, that is better.

















this was very funny

The same to my 3.5 year old! STOP GRABBING EVERY DAMN THING THAT YOU CAN THINK OF THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE A LITTLE BIT DANGEROUS! THERE ARE NO MORE SCISSORS TO BE FOUND IN THIS HOUSE BECAUSE WE KEEP HIDING THEM FROM YOU! AND THAT IS NOT A REAL LIFE GUN, THAT IS A LIGHTER, FOR CANDLES! AND DON'T TOUCH IT! AND THAT IS NOT A REAL LIFE SWORD, IT'S A KNIFE! FOR FOOD! AND PUT IT BACK! NOW!


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## craft_media_hero

Okay, this is the first time I've tried this:

PLEASE STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING THAT WE DO, EVERY THING WE EAT, AND EVERY PLACE THAT WE GO OR DON'T GO TO. NO, YOU MAY NOT HAVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN THE STORE. YOU KNOW THIS, WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME TO BUY YOU EVERYTHING WHEN YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!! PLEASE STOP QUESTIONING AND NITPICKING EVERY SINGLE DECISION I MAKE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I DO HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL. THANK YOU.

Whew! Actually, it was good to get that off my chest.

And btw, my dd was a "twiddler" as well. I never could break her of it and she still twiddles her own nip for comfort when she's really tired *shrug*


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## Jessica1501

This is such a wonderful thread.

STOP CRYING AT MEAL TIMES.
STOP JUMPING ON THE BED.
STOP ASKING ME TO WASH YOUR HAND AND YOUR TRAY WHILE YOU'RE EATING.


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## Pumpkin_Pie

Dear DS,

Please STOP FREAKING OUT. It is now 4:30 in the FREAKING morning. You have been screaming and yelling and crying to nurse for an HOUR now. 3:30 in the morning is not a civilized time of day to wake up. We have not nursed at night for nearly a year now and I am TIRED. Mama needs to go to work in a few hours, and you need to go to school.

I get that you are completely freaked out, and I have tried to snuggle with you, give you water, talk to you, hold you, and tried everything I could possibly think of to calm you down, but we are not going to un-night-wean. I am sorry. The Nay-Nay's are tapped out at night and we will nurse in the morning. I swear on your very life, we will nurse in about an hour when it is time to wake up. Right now, though, I desperately need some sleep. I cannot sleep while you nurse, and I need some sleep.

Please stop freaking out, sweet boy, please. I am going to go back upstairs now to try to snuggle you again and if you start hitting me again, I am going to leave and come back down here again. Please stop.....


----------



## ~Charlie's~Angel~

GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Pumpkin_Pie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







































That is what I really meant to say this morning at 4:30 when I was bleary eyed and DS was freaking out completely.


----------



## maribudlo

i LOVE how so many of you moms say "please" when you're yelling on this thread.

PLEASE STOP WHINING. IT'S NIGHTTIME, WE NEED TO BE RESPECTFUL AND LET EVERYONE SLEEP. DADDY HAS TO GET UP VERY EARLY, AND YOUR BABY BROTHER WILL WAKE UP SOON IF YOU DON'T BE QUIET. PLEASE, PLEASE (and here i feel like i'm begging) PLEASE GET MY ATTENTION BY CALLING ME MOMMOM AND JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!!! CRYING DOESN'T LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, JUST THAT YOU WANT SOMETHING!!!!

and later on...

PLEASE, DON'T TOUCH MY COMPUTER. JUST DON'T TOUCH IT. I'M ONLY ON FOR TWO MINUTES, AND THEN WE'RE PLAYING AGAIN. JUST LET ME PAY MY BILLS, TWO MINUTES. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH IT. I ASKED YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT NICELY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT NICELY, AND NOW I WANT TO CUT OFF YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HANDS. I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCH MY FREAKING COMPUTER!!!!

and later on...

PLEASE, PLEASE KEEP YOUR BODY OFF YOUR BROTHER'S BODY. I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU--DON'T LEAN ON YOUR BROTHER, KEEP YOUR WEIGHT OFF HIM, LEAVE HIM BE WHEN HE'S SLEEPING, GENTLE KISSES, PLEASE, GET THE F*^# OFF HIM!!! HE CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH WEIGHT, AND I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU!!! I KNOW YOU LOVE HIM, HE LOVES YOU, TOO. JUST STAY OFF OF HIM BEFORE I RIP YOU OFF AND THROW YOU ACROSS THE ROOM AND THEN SIT ON YOU SO THAT YOU CAN FEEL WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE SOMEONE HEAVY ON YOU, ELBOWS IN YOUR RIBS, FINGERS IN YOUR EYEBALLS AND EARS AND ALL. JUST DON'T LEAN ON HIM. JUST GIVE HIM HIS SPACE!!! GO SIT IN THE CORNER, I LOVE YOU, GO SIT IN THE CORNER!!!!!

thank you.


----------



## AnnesMoM

OMGosh, this thread makes me feel so much better that others know what I'm going through....

WHY MUST YOU START FIGHTING THE MINUTE I LEAVE THE ROOM??!? HOW CAN YOU BE SITTING PEACEFULLY ON SEPARATE COUCHES AND THEN BE FIGHTING 5 SECONDS LATER??? Anne I KNOW you do things to piss off your brother, I just never catch you. If you don't stop WHINING CONSTANTLY I'm going to fricking go nuts! I said to get out of the bathtub an hour ago - GET OUT OF THE TUB!! No, I'm NOT putting more bubbles in - GET OUT!!! Why can you NEVER wear clothes?? Why must you wear stupid princess dresses EVERY MINUTE of the DAY!?! For once, I'd like to see you in clothes!! You can't sleep because you're TALKING TO ME! BE quiet and you'll fall asleep!! Why must you be a 'B' type personality who takes 2 hours to do ANYTHING??!? GET MOVING! I love you honey








Orion - STOP FRICKING PINCHING, BITING, PULLING HAIR, PUSHING, KICKING, ETC ETC YOUR SISTER!!!!!! I know you love her - ACT LIKE IT! Quit pulling my hair at church when you know you can't get in trouble, LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! THAT's NOT FUNNY, QUIT LAUGHING BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LAUGH AND IT WASN'T FUNNY! Why do you still spill your cereal everywhere in the morning??? IF you Touch the computer again, you're gonna be sorry! What the #$%( did you do to my keyboard to make it stop working and beep and me????!? OH MY GOSH, did you just draw on the carrier I just made for someone???!? Pencils are NOT drumsticks - must you drum on EVERYTHING??!?

I'm sure I'll think of more....


----------



## Kailey's mom

Awesome idea, Awesome thread!!!!!! ARE YOUR EARS BROKE?? NO??? WHY DO YOU INSIST THEY ARE?? YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO MOMMY, I KNOW YOU ARE LYING WHEN YOU SAY YOUR EARS ARE FREEKING BROKEN!!!!!!!! YOU ARE DRIVING ME [email protected]!!!


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## Kailey's mom

YOU ARE 3, NOT 30.. STOP TRYING TO OUTSMART ME!!!!!!!! NO, YOU CAN'T USE YOUR OUTSIDE VOICE WHEN THE WINDOW'S ARE OPEN BECAUSE " TECHNICALLY YOU VOICE GOES OUTSIDE" STOP WITH THE GAMES CHILD! I HAVE A HEADACHE AND IT"S 2am!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Ish'smom

Iif you dont want that on your hand just wipe or lick it off! No! Dont shake it off all over the kitchen. Please dont put your hand in the bowl again. Ahhh. Dont growl at me. Fine dont help me make santa's cookies, just go play or something. Just please do what i ask for once if not the first time maybe the fifth time and the we can have fun together instead of going crazy!


----------



## MichAnne

I love this thread!!!!!

Dd2--why the heck are you having a tantrum? Just because i wont give you a chocolate ornament off of the tree? Its an hour past your freaking bed time!

Why are you so attached to this one stupid sippie cup!?!?!?! It leaks all over the freaking place.

Why dear god why do you insist on scccccccreaaaaaaaaaminnnnnnnnnnngggggggg on the top of your freaking lungs while mommy is driving!!?!?!?!?! Dont you realize its icy and -20c!?!?!?

When the %*%*^&$*$(#)##(%*^&& is this teething thing going to end!!!!!!

Dh--i know you work hard, we appreciate it....but you've been laid off of work for 2 weeks now, dont you think its time to apply for ei!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Heeeellloooooooooooo we have a mortgage to pay......

And no im not going to have sex with you......why???? Because im tired!!! I feel like the resident cook/maid/slave/poopy diaper dealer-wither!!!!!!!!! And its 4 freaking am! Just becuase you just came to bed after playing video games til all hours of the night and you are horny, doesnt mean you can try and wake me up out of a dead sleep to get some.....f**k the hell off!!!!!

I dont really care if you dont want to go work out of town since you are laid off.......we agreed on me being a sahm and you working, so i cant make money cleaning the house and doing laundry. Ive kept up my end of the deal, keep up yours for f**ks sakes!

And stop leaving your clothes all over the freaking house! Its called a hamper! If you dont put your clothes in there, they wont get washed. You can wear clothes covered in dog hair and that smell like sweaty balls, i could really give a sh*t, cuz im sick and tired of it!


----------



## Farore

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VroomieMama* 
STOP BARKING AT THE NEIGHBORS AND STOP PEEING/POOPING ON OUR CARPET!

Haha! I think you are talking about your dog here. At first when I read it, I thought, "Hey, her kid does that too!" Yep. My kid does.


----------



## bcblondie

LOL I love this thread.

Stay still while I change you! Don't roll over! Don't arch your back! You can play with toys laying on your back! I promise!! It's possible!!


----------



## phathui5

For the love of God man, at nine years old, you really need to not pee in your pants. What makes it worse is that then your dad wants to punish you for it and I end up stuck in the middle. So freaking stop it already.


----------



## crabbyowl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MichAnne* 
And stop leaving your clothes all over the freaking house! Its called a hamper! If you dont put your clothes in there, they wont get washed. You can wear clothes covered in dog hair and that smell like sweaty balls, i could really give a sh*t, cuz im sick and tired of it!


----------



## lil_miss_understood

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
For the love of God man, at nine years old, you really need to not pee in your pants. What makes it worse is that then your dad wants to punish you for it and I end up stuck in the middle. So freaking stop it already.

I hate to ask but...
Has this dc been tested for food allergies? ds1 had a problem with peeing his pants which was related to his dairy allergy... We thought he was just ignoring his body's cues or something...
Just a thought.


----------



## eccomama

when it's time to take a bath and you dont feel like it, dont run around the house screaming!!! go to bed dirty, see if i care!!!!


----------



## jewelsJZ

OMG, You are trying to break me, the lot of you, aren't you?!!!! STOP getting in the baby's face, stop trying to pick him up, then slamming him onto the floor. He doesn't like it, i guarantee it!!!!
DD, PLEASE STOP THROWING FITS ABOUT EVERY. SINGLE. THING. STOP SAYING NO TO EVERYTHING I SAY, STOP HAVING ABSOLUTELY ZERO FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE. HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY, "ASK FOR HELP"? I WILL HELP YOU BUT YOUR SCREAMING IS MAKING MY EVERLOVING EARS BLEED.

DS1 stop using that high pitched screaming voice. You seem to be well versed in military torture techniques. Perhaps this will serve you well in a future career, however right now I cannot take it any more and I am seriously considering entering a fugue state.

Stop screaming about your homework. It is not my fault you have homework. I will help you with it but if you scream and crumble up your paper every 2 minutes, I cannot sit here with you. I think I will go clean toilets or some other pleasant task while you scream to yourself. Let me know how it goes tomorrow when you explain to your teacher why your homework is not done and your paper looks like it does.

DS2 you are so cute and so adorable, but please stop following me around moaning and whining and then when i pick you up, you wiggle to be put down. all. day. long.


----------



## 4JMJ

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jewelsJZ* 
Stop screaming about your homework. It is not my fault you have homework. I will help you with it but if you scream and crumble up your paper every 2 minutes, I cannot sit here with you. I think I will go clean toilets or some other pleasant task while you scream to yourself. Let me know how it goes tomorrow when you explain to your teacher why your homework is not done and your paper looks like it does.











DD1, DD2 & DS3 - I can't take it anymore!!!! All of the arguing, whining, fighting, tattling is driving me INSANE! I swear I even hear it when I sleep! Why don't you all just take it into the backyard until there's only 1 of you left standing already!?!?
And to DH - I love you dearly and appreciate all you do for us BUT A)your hands will not shrivel up and fall off if you change a cloth diaper & B)I don't want to hear how tired you are/watch you nap whenever possible when I AM THE ONE UP ALL NIGHT FEEDING THE BABY! (and no I DO NOT take naps during the day because on the rare ocassion DS sleeps any longer than 20 mins. I am too busy trying to take a shower, do laundry, wash dishes, etc.) And C)NO I WILL NOT put him in a crib to CIO! Oh and D)KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY FRIGGIN BOOBS! Right now they are for feeding our DS and NOT playthings for you!

I feel SOOOOO much better!


----------



## Surfacing

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ginadc* 
OAnd stop crumpling up your face into Tragedy Mask and weeping like I've just taken away all the joy in the world when I take your nipple-twisting hand away.


----------



## wendyland

Stop asking me for stuff!!!! You don't need to ask to go to the bathroom. Just go!!! Flush or don't flush. I don't care!!!!


----------



## sunflowergrrl

I love this thread, may I join?

DS, Back away from the baby and stop jumping on the arm of my chair when I'm nursing her!!! Please just for once, listen to me the first time when I tell you to put your frickin shoes on!!!

DD, Stop asking me for help then screaming "I WANNA DO IT" every time. Stop trying to zip your coat, then asking for help, and when I take it apart to zip it correctly, screaming "I WANNA DO IT," and the whole thing starts all over again.... I Have no patience for this....the baby is crying in her carseat!!!We need to get moving!!!!ARGGHH!!!


----------



## jewelsJZ

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunflowergrrl* 
DD, Stop asking me for help then screaming "I WANNA DO IT" every time. Stop trying to zip your coat, then asking for help, and when I take it apart to zip it correctly, screaming "I WANNA DO IT," and the whole thing starts all over again.... I Have no patience for this....the baby is crying in her carseat!!!We need to get moving!!!!ARGGHH!!!

Oh I can so relate! We have this here too w/ my 3 y.o.

Forgot to add:
darling dog, please stop peeing, pooing and puking on everything. Aaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!


----------



## Storm Bride

*sigh*
Too late - I've already been yelling today, but....

DS2:

*STOP! STOP! STOP!!*

Stop hitting people. You've bruised _both_ your sisters this week. DD2 is a _baby_. Leave her alone. JUST STOP!!! I have a horrible headache, and I feel like crap, and I don't need this garbage. Go play - be quiet and leave me alone!!! Leave everyone alone!!!! And, for crying out loud, if you're cold when we get home for a walk, _take off_ the wet clothes, as I told you to, and get under the blanket. Don't scream at me about being too cold to take off the clothes, and then try to climb on the couch with them.

OMG!!! You _stepped_ on the baby!! WTF is wrong with you????

DD1:

Yes - your brother is being a world-class PITA - _again_. *No*, that does _not_ mean that you are a pure little innocent who never does anything wrong. Leave him alone. Stop thinking you can smack him away from you, and then act blameless when he hits you back! *I've had it!!!!*

DD2:

I love you dearly, baby, and I know you're sick, too, but please, please, please, please, please stop crying, baby. You're killing my head. I'm doing my best, little girl....


----------



## COgirl19

To DD: For the love of all that is holy PICK A DA*& OUTFIT! You are 2 and a half, this is way to early to be spending 30 minutes every morning trying to find something to wear. Nobody cares how fashionable you look while eating crayons and paste at preschool!

Ah...I feel better now.


----------



## laughymama

Just PLEASE. STOP. WHINING.


----------



## Nillarilla

STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP PULLING ON MY LEG AND WHINING I NEED TO FINISH WHAT I AM DOING. STOP ASKING TO COME UP AND THEN THRASHING TO GET DOWN! STOP MAKING THAT HORRIBLE NOISE! STOP PINCHING AND SCRATCHING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE GO. TO. SLEEP. AND. STAY. ASLEEP.

TO OLDER CHILD I do not want to play mail I have to finish with the bills. NO I will not play mail right now you must wait until I am finished. IF YOU DO NOT STOP DING DONGING IN MY EAR I AM GOING TO SCREAM! DO NOT TAKE ALL OF YOUR SISTERS TOYS. LEAVE YOUR SISTER'S BLANKIE. ALONE! NO I WILL NOT PLAY MAIL. GET OFF THE CLEAN LAUNDRY! DO NOT CLIMB ON THE FURNITURE! YOU DO NOT NEED ANYTHING ELSE TO EAT YOU HAVE ALREADY EATEN YOUR WEIGHT IN FOOD TWICE!


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## Nillarilla

Oh and one more for today
DD you do know that when you are finished nursing you can just let go? You do not need me to break the latch. You could for once just peacefully stop nursing instead of BITING ME! STOP F#$%@*&^g BITING ME!
DS DO not scream and bite because you are not allowed to run around with pointy objects pretending they are swords. DO NOT BITE!
By the way the baby taught my ds how to bite. He never did it before she bit him sigh.........


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## Musubi

Yes!!! This thread is wonderful. Free therapy!









DD1- JUST EFFING LISTEN!!!

DD2- My sweet cuddly baby...please please please please take
a freaking nap!!


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## blizzard_babe

DS: LET ME TAKE OFF MY BOOTS, HAT, MITTENS, AND PARKA! Yes, you get to nurse as soon as I get home from work, it's a given. You do NOT need to stand at my ankles whining, "MUM MUM! COAT OFF! MUM MUM! BOOTS OFF! MUM MUM! WANTIT!" You will get it. Give me ten seconds, would you?

DOG: Aforementioned toddler whining at my feet is made worse by you crowding in on us, thwapping us with your muskie-bat of a tail. BAD DOG! I'm glad you're excited to see me, but BAD BAD BAD DOG!


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## Nillarilla

Dear sweet baby girl you are never ever allowed in the fridge. This is not a new development. So please stop screaming whenever I close the door or pull you out of the fridge! STAY OUT! Oh and you could stop pooping anytime now.

Dear beloved son of mine DO NOT LICK THE LIDS OF THE CREAM CHEESE, YOGURT ETC IT IS GROSS AND GERMY.


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## Storm Bride

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Musubi* 
JUST EFFING LISTEN!!!

So eloquent. So succinct. I like it.


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## bscal

I so need this thread today. Really.

DD1 - JUST SHUT UP. I AM TIRED OF YOU GOING ON AND ON ABOUT EVERY.LITTLE.F#@#ING.THING LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!! And if you could TRY to be a bit nicer to your little brother he probably wouldn't bite the snot out of you. (I admit that there are times when she just will not get out of his face and he's told her NO 12 times and then he bites her... and I think to myself "you deserved that one kiddo." Mean mama.)

DD2 - DON'T THROW YOURSELF ON THE FLOOR AND SHRIEK THAT SHRILL SIREN SOUND WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU NO. IT'S ANNOYING!!

DS - I love you bunches sweetie. But I really don't need you to hand me boogers or wipe them on my shirt or pants. I'd like to put on clean clothes just once and not have to change again before leaving the house.

DH - GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND HELP ME!! I HAVE A MIGRAINE TODAY AND I'M TIRED. SURFING THE NET WHILE YOU'RE "WORKING FROM HOME" DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANNOT REFILL A SIPPY CUP OR WIPE A HINEY IN THE BATHROOM OCCASIONALLY!!! AND PLEASE SORT YOUR LAUNDRY INTO THE HAMPERS - THE PILE OF CLOTHES ON YOUR SIDE OF THE BED IS 2 FEET TALL AND I'M NOT DOING IT.

I feel much better, tyvm. It's been one of *those* days. Hopefully everyone will stay in their beds tonight because I'm DONE.

Beth


----------



## jewelsJZ

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bscal* 
I
DH - GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND HELP ME!! I HAVE A MIGRAINE TODAY AND I'M TIRED. SURFING THE NET WHILE YOU'RE "WORKING FROM HOME" DOES NOT MEAN YOU CANNOT REFILL A SIPPY CUP OR WIPE A HINEY IN THE BATHROOM OCCASIONALLY!!!
Beth

YES!!!! Thank you!







Facebooking also does not count for working at home!


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## Starchaser

DS, you are only four months old - QUIT FIGHTING SLEEP! 8 pm is not nap time! I don't want to play with you at midnight! And for heaven's sake, quit screaming yourself awake every time you fart! You pass gas all day and think its funny, so why does it piss you off at night?!

Dog - QUIT LICKING THE BABY! That's gross - I know where your tounge has been!

Cat - QUIT STEPPING ON THE BABY! He's finally asleep - don't you dare wake him up!

MIL - NO I don't want to give him cereal. NO I don't want to give him juice. NO I don't want to give him a bottle. He doesn't need to space out his feedings - every two hours is fine! It's normal! JUST STOP IT!

DH - I know you just got home from work - just hold him so I can pee! Look, he's even smiling! It won't kill you! And pick up your crap - you are almost 30, and I'm not your mother! GROW UP!!

Whew...much better!


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## Pax3

ICK, STOP, YOU DON'T LICK THE CAT -- DON'T LICK THE CAT I SAID, NO, NO, NO THAT'S **NOT** HIS BELLYBUTTON!!! ARGH!! YOUR SISTER IS FINE, SHE'S ACROSS THE ROOM, NO SHE WON'T TAKE YOUR TOY, SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING, OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP SCREAMING EVERYTHING!!!! WAIT, WAIT, STOP!!! NO!! DON'T LICK THE CAT!!! OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, DO **NOT** PLUNGE YOUR SISTER!!! (fortunately with a *new* plunger!)


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## 4JMJ

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starchaser* 
DS, you are only four months old - QUIT FIGHTING SLEEP! 8 pm is not nap time! I don't want to play with you at midnight!
DH - I know you just got home from work - just hold him so I can pee! Look, he's even smiling! It won't kill you! And pick up you're crap


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## Punchy Kaby

GET OFF THE BED! STOP JUMPING ON ME! I HATE WHEN YOU WAKE ME UP THIS WAY!

THE BLUE PANTS ARE DIRTY, PICK SOMETHING ELSE (for the 30th time, literally)

YOUR FARTS STINK, GET AWAY

F****** CREAKY FLOOR, YOU WOKE THE BABY AGAIN


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## Punchy Kaby

I already feel better, until tomorrow when the same exact things will happen again. And NO, the pants have not been washed yet.


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## lil_miss_understood

would you please fracking open your ears and listen for once in your life???????


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## ariatrance

You have made me completely psychotic today......SHUT THE H UP! I have answered your dmn question already 500 bazillion times and I really can't take it anymore!!!! Stop hitting....STOP HITTING.....STOP FREAKING HITTING!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


























































phew...


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## chelle.ra

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Jenna~* 
QUIT LICKING THE FREAKING LAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I feel better









we have a running list of "things we'd never thought we'd say" - that is one of them!
another -
"please stop rubbing the elephant on the dog and putting it in your mouth"
and many more!


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## Laur318

to DH - CAN YOU NOT SEE THE FxCKING MUD YOU ARE TRACKING ALL OVER OUR PALE CARPETS? THE NO SHOES RULE DOES NOT CEASE BEAUSE ITS A FxCHING BLIZZARD OUTSIDE!!!!! I WILL NOW SPEND THE ONE HOUR BABY'S NAP SCRUBBING THE CARPETS SO BABY DOESNT CRAWL THRU IT IN OUR TINY APARTMENT... WHILE YOU GET TO LEAVE THE HOUSE! THIS IS INSTEAD OF ME NAPPING, or EATING, or SHOWERING, ***OR*** MASSAGING OUT MY PLUGGED DUCT, ALL OF WHICH ARE LUXURIES IN MY BOOK ... AND FEW AND FAR BETWEEN SINCE OUR SON WAS BORN 10 LONG MONTHS AGO. YOU SUCK!!!!

to my nosey relatives
FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, YES, WE ARE STILL NURSING! MAYBE YOU COULD HELP OUT SOMEDAY?!?! BECAUSE YOUR "CRY IT OUT" and "SCHEDULE HIM" ADVICE SURE ISNT DOING THE TRICK


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## amberskyfire

STOP DUMPING OUT ALL OF YOUR FOOD AND DRINKS EVERYWHERE! Seriously, it drives me crazy! I know you are only two, but you've been doing it five times a day for over a year now. WHY does it have to be on the floor?! You don't need to experiment with it anymore. One year is more than enough time to learn about gravity and the "splat" rule. YOU FREAKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP IT SO STOP IT BEFORE I LOSE MY MIND!!!!!


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## jewelsJZ

Oh my god, stop pushing down babies and hitting toddlers at the play ground. You are almost 6 years old. We've been over this, over and over and over again. Stop screaming at your sister in a mall or restaurant, causing everyone to turn and look. It embarrasses the hell out of me and i don't know how to help you. I've talked to you about this so many times, my head is absolutely going to explode!!!!!

I just don't get it, why do you have to be angry about every. Single. Thing. From the time you open your eyes in the morning until the time you close them at night, you are angry, you hate your sister, you taunt her all day long, you get frustrated at every. Thing. You blame everyone for everything. You never want to hug me or anyone, you just want to be mad, it's like you look for a reason to be mad and if you don't find it, you'll make one up.

I love you dearly, but i just can't say the same things over and over again like this until you go off to college. They will find me in a corner drooling on myself and cart me off to the asylum.


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laur318* 
to DH - CAN YOU NOT SEE THE FxCKING MUD YOU ARE TRACKING ALL OVER OUR PALE CARPETS? THE NO SHOES RULE DOES NOT CEASE BEAUSE ITS A FxCHING BLIZZARD OUTSIDE!!!!! I WILL NOW SPEND THE ONE HOUR BABY'S NAP SCRUBBING THE CARPETS SO BABY DOESNT CRAWL THRU IT IN OUR TINY APARTMENT... WHILE YOU GET TO LEAVE THE HOUSE! THIS IS INSTEAD OF ME NAPPING, or EATING, or SHOWERING, ***OR*** MASSAGING OUT MY PLUGGED DUCT, ALL OF WHICH ARE LUXURIES IN MY BOOK ... AND FEW AND FAR BETWEEN SINCE OUR SON WAS BORN 10 LONG MONTHS AGO. YOU SUCK!!!!


Why didn't you make him clean up after himself?


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## elisheva

OMG DH you are not a child so stop acting like one. I'm sure you did have a long day. Newsflash! So did I and mine continues!! You know the door needs to be shut when you're putting ds2 to bed - why did you leave it open so he could come out and you could claim "well, I guess he's not tired."?????









And did you *seriously* just order something WE DON'T NEED for $170 when we are struggling to make ends meet? Are you f-ing kidding me? WTF?






































































And don't even think you can TRY to make me feel guilty because I made you cancel it.

WTF. You took on this extra work because you were stressed about money. I'm not. We have a roof. We have food. I don't *want* to go on vacation to Las Vegas. Not a priority for me. So now you have all this extra work and it's stressing you out more than worrying did. Get a grip, dude.

I'm sorry to be callous, but I honestly feel like I have a 4th child lately.


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## Laur318

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Purity♥Lake~* 
Why didn't you make him clean up after himself?









leaving for work, as usual.


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## 4JMJ

Ds2-please, please, please just let me have 10 minutes of peace to take a shower!! I know you love to be held/carried/on me 24/7, and if they made a waterproof sling believe me i'd be all over it and bring you in with me, but i don't think asking for 10 minutes with you right outside the shower is too much to ask! I have let a lot of things slide (as evidenced by our wreck of a house), but i absolutely have to take a shower!!! If you would nap for more than 5 minutes and somewhere i could lay you down, i would be more than happy to do it then! Speaking of naps, do you ever plan to take any ever again???? Even 1 hour a day would be great! I bet your mood would be much improved if you would just let yourself fall asleep instead of fighting it all.day.long.

And to dh-so happy for you that you are on this fitness kick and get your "me time" every.single.day to work out. Don't you think that i could use a little help when you get home from work? I don't even know what "me time" is any more!i appreciate the fact that you earn the money to pay our bills and get us what we need, but what i do is just as important! *just because i don't bring home a paycheck doesn't mean i don't bust my a** every single day!*


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## lil_miss_understood

DH: When I wake you up at 8:30 am after being up at 5am and ask you to get up and watch the kids so I can take a nap, I don't really mean "Please sleep for another half hour then get up and take a shower so that I get no rest."


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## Storm Bride

Okay - I'm past the need to yell at the thread, but I"m going to do it a day late...hopefully, this will help prevent yelling _today_. We're on our way out for some outside time...hope it goes well.

*deep breath*

DS2 - *NO!* Glitter glue does _not_ go on place mats! You know this. I know this. Why am I cleaning glitter glue out of the effing place mat?? There is NO reason to make "ghosts" out of milk on the other placemat. Don't do it. Just don't.

No - it is not okay to hit your _baby_ sister with an effing hockey stick. I'm sorry you just got it and none of your friends are free to play street hockey right now, but that is NOT her fault. And, no - you can meltdown until Christmas - you're NOT getting it back from the closet. You HIT YOUR BABY SISTER WITH IT!!!!

ARRRGH! Stop mushing all the play dough together. It's NOT okay, and it makes your other sister really upset. What is wrong with just leaving the effing colours _separate_???

Get out of the van. I can't believe you took my keys out of my purse!! LET me in - UNLOCK THE DOORS NOW!!! ARRRGGGH!! It's not safe to mess around in there. UNLOCK THE DOOR AND GIVE ME MY EFFING KEY!!!!

Put your shoes on. You're not supposed to run around here barefott. PUT THEM ON!! Don't spit water on the gym floor - someone could slip on that. What are you DOING??? Come down here - no - not just your shoes - STOP - you could hit someone on the head!!! COME BACK!!!

WHERE ARE YOU?? You can't just leave without us. GET BACK HERE *NOW*!!!! Where did you go? This is an effing _parking lot_. This is danagerous - come back here NOW!!!!

What do you mean, you peed your pants? You haven't done that in months. OMG! I think I'm going to crack up. Come here. Get those off. No - we don't have your change of pants in your pack - you dumped it, remember???? AARRRGGGGH!!!! I can't take any more of this.

Stop hitting people.
Keep foods and bodily fluids where they belong.
_Stop_ running into parking lots!!
STOP throwing shoes.

I have SOOOOOO had it today!!!

*deep breath*

Okay - that was therapeutic. I think I'm ready to face the day again...


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## BettinaAuSucre

Get off the tub and stop climbing onto the table and taking the cat food away from the cats!!!!

Stop robbing me of my youth and disobeying my every word!


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## lil_miss_understood

WHY THE *FRACK* DO YOU _INSIST_ ON WAKING UP THE BABY?!!!!!!!!!


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## elisheva

Ds1 - Don't whine the whole walk that you want to get out and run and when we finally get to the place where you can get out, you scream and cry and whine that you don't want to walk. No, I will not sit with you while you poop. Bring a book or a toy. Sheesh. And if you refuse to eat one more meal and then ask me for a cookie and tantrum when I say no...

Ds2 - you have all the playdough! Stop grunting at the craft box for more playdough!


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## lil_miss_understood

HOLY CRAP!!! REALLY?!!! I CAN'T CLEAN THE FRIGGING SHOWER WITHOUT YOU POURING OUT A WHOLE BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO IN THE BATHTUB??!!!! WHERE THE HECK DID YOU EVEN GET THAT???!!!!


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## VroomieMama

That's one... that's 2...that's 3... ok no TV.

That's one...that's 2...that's 3... ok no computer.

That's one..that's 2...that's 3....ok no DS.

That's one...that's 2... that's 3... ok no toys.

"I'd rather do nothing than clean my room!" said my DD.

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (yelling at magic 1,2,3) "When the heck will YOU work when it comes to help my DD cleaning her room?!?!?!?!"


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## sapphire_chan

You LOVE Daddy!!! You were freaking CRYING for him earlier, GO PLAY WITH HIM!!!!

Oh, oh I see, you're tummy hurts because you need to pee so you want me, okay, there, there, you'll feel better if you go on the potty.

The potty does not have sharks, the potty is not teasing you, c'mon just sit and pee, I swear you'll feel better!!!!

ARgh!!!!

Finally dh got her to sit, she peed a ton, and then happily played with him.

Toddlers, argh.


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## Honey693

You know why you were so crabby all day??? B?C YOU REFUSED TO NAP! Why didn't you nap? I could nap in the middle of the freeway I'm so tired, yet you refuse. WHYYYYYY???


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## anj_rn

DS - stop jumping, no you are not tigger, you need to be a boy again STOP JUMPING ON THE FURNITURE...I do not care what you ate at Grandma's house, ice cream is not needed for survival, we have no ice cream in the house, no I will not go to the store and buy some...No you are not dressed, you are only wearing socks. I realize you are not nakie, but go put on some clothes, I do not care if you like your penis hanging out GO PUT ON SOME CLOTHES OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN JUST YOUR SOCKS!!!!!

DH - I love you, but using the breast pump does not qualify as "time to myself"

DD - Please smile at mama


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## Nillarilla

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4JMJ* 
Ds2-please, please, please just let me have 10 minutes of peace to take a shower!! I know you love to be held/carried/on me 24/7, and if they made a waterproof sling believe me i'd be all over it and bring you in with me, [/b]

http://www.theslingstation.com/watercarriers1.html


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## FarmerJen

Aww CRAP - I was laughing so hard just reading this thread that I woke up the toddler.
















PLEASE GO BACK TO SLEEP...PLEASE GO BACK TO SLEEP...


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## Lilypie32

For mommy's sanity and your will to live stop digging in the poop in your butt and go efffing sit on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!! I canot stand washing your poop off the walls anymore. I cannot stand digging poop out from under your nails. Soon i will get the duct tape and tape your pants on!!!!! I have had enuf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## elisheva

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lilypie32* 
For mommy's sanity and your will to live stop digging in the poop in your butt and go efffing sit on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!! I canot stand washing your poop off the walls anymore. I cannot stand digging poop out from under your nails. Soon i will get the duct tape and tape your pants on!!!!! I have had enuf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















My ds2 puts his hand down his diaper and I often don't catch him until he's already been touching things uke


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## MissNo

DD1- StoptestingmeStoptestingmestoptestingme! I need five minutes away from you, your nasty behavior is making me bonkers! And LEAVE the cat ALONE!

DD2 - 4am? Really?! 4AM! AGAIN! Mommy's exhausted and YES you are taking a nap! ARGH!


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## amberskyfire

QUIT HITTING ME!! What is with this hitting me for no reason out of the blue all the time? I do all of the gentle parenting techniques they say to use and still nothing works! It's been MONTHS! What is your problem?! Why do you just sit happily playing next to me or reading a book and nothing is wrong and you just SLAP ME in the face as hard as you can out of the blue? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?!!

And dear Neighbor's Stupid Rooster:

WHY do you have to start crowing in the middle of the day EVERY SINGLE DAY - ONLY when my baby is trying to sleep? I have three words for you:
CHICKEN EFFING SOUP!!!!


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## sgmom




----------



## 4JMJ

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nillarilla* 
http://www.theslingstation.com/watercarriers1.html

THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I had no idea these existed!!


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## Swandira

DD -- STOP TALKING!!!! We all heard you the first seven times. Enough already! Put down your baby brother; he's too heavy for you and he gets to decide where he wants to be. And, no, I'm not going to get you yet another snack. You just ate more than your puny little body weight in food 15 minutes ago. Eating whenever you're bored is not the way to optimal health, even if you are eating fresh produce because you're bored. Find another freakin' activity! (preferably one you can do without my help)

DS2 -- if you bite me again I swear I will cry. Please don't break my nose with your giant head, either. You are the most aggressive toddler I've ever had. It's a good thing you're cute.
(p.s. Please consider letting me sleep one day. I think it might increase my milk supply. Really.)

DS1 -- So -- I guess this seemed like a good idea at the time? What did you think was going to happen? Also, if I have to answer another "what would happen if" question I'm going to explode.

Nealy
mama to T, 7; L, 4; and O, 14 months


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## elisheva

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
QUIT HITTING ME!! What is with this hitting me for no reason out of the blue all the time? I do all of the gentle parenting techniques they say to use and still nothing works! It's been MONTHS! What is your problem?! Why do you just sit happily playing next to me or reading a book and nothing is wrong and you just SLAP ME in the face as hard as you can out of the blue? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?!!

And dear Neighbor's Stupid Rooster:

WHY do you have to start crowing in the middle of the day EVERY SINGLE DAY - ONLY when my baby is trying to sleep? I have three words for you:
CHICKEN EFFING SOUP!!!!

























I think Coq au Vin would be tastier


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## lil_miss_understood

OMG DS2! SERIOUSLY!!
PANTY LINERS ARE *NOT* DIAPERS!!!!!!!!!! AND, EVEN IF THEY WERE, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THEY'D WORK BY STICKING THEM TO YOUR NAKED BOTTOM!!!!
STOP WASTING MY PANTY LINERS!!!


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## reezley

If you ask for a video, and we spent time debating which video to watch, and I'm letting you watch one- then stop walking around making noises disturbing your brother while he watches it and stop coming to me when I'm having my moment of peace and GO WATCH YOUR VIDEO!!!!! Just WATCH your VIDEO!!!!!!!
Oh wait, I actually DID yell that to them. Oops. I have no patience today. But I love this thread. I'll try harder next time.


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## enigo

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
pant pant...there


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## Peacemamalove

Oh My gosh WHY WHY WHY WHY would you cut a hole in my new crocheted dress







I think I am just at a loss of words as to what to say to you right now. I am so so so upset and so angry.


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## RAED

I will HOLD YOU AFTER I eat, okay?

Thank you for posting this thread! Helps me feel like I'm not a really bad momma for wanting to finish my food, go to the toilet in private, towel off after a shower, sleep, instead of holding my two cuddle bugs constantly!


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## MissNo

Why oh WHY do you not sleep past 5am?!? New Rule: stay in your room until it is light out!!

DD, you peed on the kitchen floor?!?! WTH?!?!?! 4 years of attention hasn't been good enough so NOW you are peeing everywhere?!?! ARGH!


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## marinak1977

... resurrecting this from the depths. I love this thread.

... yells at the furkids. WOULD YOU STOP BICKERING OVER THE FREAKING BACKPACK DH LEFT ON THE FLOOR! IT DOESN'T NEED PROTECTION!!! AND QUIT STOPPING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AS I'M RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS TO GET THE PHONE! I FALL FASTER THAN YOU CAN RUN!
and yells at DH AND WOULD YOU PLEASE PICK UP YOUR BACKPACK FOR THE ^&*(^%@ TIME!!! AND QUIT LEAVING DIRTY DIAPERS ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!!!!

DS is actually being really good at the moment.


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## jewelsJZ

PLEASE BE QUIET! ALL OF YOU! I CANNOT HEAR MYSELF THINK! MY EARS MAY ACTUALLY BE BLEEDING!
WHAT PART OF "THE BABY IS ASLEEP" IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND??? WE DO THIS EVERY DAY. HE TAKES A NAP AND YOU TWO HAVE QUIET TIME. DD, SCREAMING AT YOUR "MY LITTLE PONY" HOUSE BECAUSE THE DOOR WON'T SHUT PROPERLY WHILE YOUR BABY BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP IN THE NEXT ROOM IS *NOT BEING QUIET!!!!!!
DS, YOU ARE 6 YEARS OLD, WHEN DO YOU THINK YOU WILL STOP THROWING BIGGER FITS THAN THE TODDLER? YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. YOUR YOUNGER SISTERS' FRIENDS AND THEIR MOTHERS ARE STARING AT YOU IN AMAZEMENT. IT'S EMBARRASSING!
WEATHER, PLEASE STOP BEING SO FREAKING HOT SO THESE KIDS CAN PLAY OUTSIDE FOR MORE THAN 15 MINUTES WITHOUT FALLING OVER FROM HEAT STROKE! THEY HAVE A LOT OF ENERGY THEY NEED TO RELEASE. THIS IS AS BAD AS BEING COOPED UP INSIDE DURING THE WINTER. EXCEPT IT'S SUMMER AND SO IT IS MORE TORTUROUS!

ok, that is all.*


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~

OH WOW, I was thinking of this thread the other day. I thought it got lost....

STOPPPPPPPPPPPPP, JUST STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, stop whining, stop screaming, stop hitting eachother, stop throwing yourself on the floor and hurting yourself more, and for the love of GOD GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!

NO, you can't ride the lawn mower. SORRRYYY!!! WE ARE GOING HOME NOW!!!! I DONT CARE if you dont want me. I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!!!!


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## Surfacing

These days my yelling is on the outside... ahem... gotta change it back to inner dialogue...


----------



## nola79

Be quiet! The baby is sleeping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(OK, THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE IN CAPS, BUT IT'S NOT COMING OUT RIGHT)!


----------



## SheSpeeds

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bearsmama* 
PLEASE LET ME WIPE MY BUTT AND THEN I CAN HOLD YOU.

HA HA HA HA HA!!! Relatably, HA HA HA!!


----------



## mamarhu

I am hot. I am sweating. I am extremely grumpy. I am not patient today. I am not nice today. Please wait till this heat wave is over to ask anything more of me


----------



## bellytobelly

OMG! This post is SUCH a great idea! I see that no one has posted in over a year, but I'm gonna revive this baby! DH and I have been working realllllly hard on using a calmer tone and more patience with our kiddos, but sometimes I just need to get it out!! Yelling into a pillow in the bathroom is somewhat helpful...but this is SO much better! Here goes..

WHAT THE HECK ARE U DOING????? WHY, WHY, WHY DO U DUMP OUT EVERY SINGLE CUP OF LIQUID WITHIN 100 FEET OF YOU? SERIOUSLY...A 32 OZ CUP OF *GOOD* WATER, ON THE CARPET, FOR NO REASON! OHHHH, NO, I SEE THE REASON...SO U CAN SLAP UR HANDS IN IT EXACTLY 3 TIMES, AND THEN YELL YOUR LITTLE HEART OUT FOR MOMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TO CLEAN IT UP! R U FRICKING KIDDING ME?!?! bUT HEY, IT'S ONLY THE 3RD TIME YOU'VE DNE THAT IN THE LAT 3 HOURS....NO BIG DEAL, RIGHT?! GRRRRRRRRRR!


----------



## journeymom

Dd, quit being a neurotic priss! No one can whistle around you, your brother can barely breath around you, it's nuts.

DH, DONT YOU DARE POUT WHEN I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX. SERIOUSLY DUDE YOU'RE GETTING IT AN AVERAGE OF EVERY OTHER DAY. SURELY, *SURELY* YOU CAN MANAGE 3 DAYS IN A ROW WHEN IVE GOT MY PERIOD??? WE'VE BEEN AT THIS HOW LONG AND YOU STILL CANT COPE WITHOUT GETTING MOODY AND CRANKY? HUSBAND! MEET MISTER HAND! GET ON WITH IT!


----------



## ~Boudicca~

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> Dd, quit being a neurotic priss! No one can whistle around you, your brother can barely breath around you, it's nuts.
> 
> DH, DONT YOU DARE POUT WHEN I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX. SERIOUSLY DUDE YOU'RE GETTING IT AN AVERAGE OF EVERY OTHER DAY. SURELY, *SURELY* YOU CAN MANAGE 3 DAYS IN A ROW WHEN IVE GOT MY PERIOD??? WE'VE BEEN AT THIS HOW LONG AND YOU STILL CANT COPE WITHOUT GETTING MOODY AND CRANKY? HUSBAND! MEET MISTER HAND! GET ON WITH IT!










We must be living a parallel life because I could have written your post!


----------



## Tonia Starr

IF YOU POP ONE MORE FREAKING KEY OFF MY LAPTOP IM GOING TO THROW YOU OUT A WINDOW!!!!!!


----------



## philomom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tonia Starr*
> 
> IM GOING TO THROW YOU OUT A WINDOW!!!!!!


Don't you love the word defenestrate?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration


----------



## bellytobelly

SO glad to see that others are joining in! It's such a relief that know that I'm not the only mom dealing with this stuff! For today...

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND RIGHT IN THIS WORLD!!! LEAVE! ME! ALONE! YES, NOW! OMG, I HAVE TO GET SOME WORK DONE FOR DADDY'S BUSINESS, OR WE WILL BE HUNGRY AND HOMELESS!! YES, LYING ON THE FLOOR KICKING THE WALL IS ANNOYING ME! AND IF YOU COME BACK IN TO ASK ME ONE MORE QUESTION LIKE "I CANT DECIDE WHAT GAME TO PLAY, WHAT DO U THINK I SHOULD DO?" I'M GONNA LOSE IT...BIIIIG TIME!!!! SERIOUSLY CHILD...THEY TELL ME AT SCHOOL THAT YOU'RE GIFTED...YET YOU CANT SEEM TO HANDLE THE CONCEPT OF "WHEN THE DOOR IS SHUT, I'M WORKING" HOW HARD CAN IE BE?!?!?!?!?!?!? YES, I KNOW U WANT ME TO PLAY OUTSIDE, I KNOW IT'S A REALLY NICE DAY, BUT I HAVE TO GET THIS DONE...AND IF YOU'D STOP COMING IN HERE EVERY 2 AND A HALF F%$&ING MINUTES I MIGHT ACTUALLY FINISH IN TIME TO COME PLAY WITH U!! WHICH IS WHAT I'D MUCH RATHER BE DOING ANYWAY!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh....that felt fantastic! )


----------



## bellytobelly

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> Dd, quit being a neurotic priss! No one can whistle around you, your brother can barely breath around you, it's nuts.


ROTFLMAO. Ohmigosh, this is my 7 year old!! She actually moved to the back seat in the minivan at a stoplight, because her sleeping brother's breathing was too loud- he's 2! Hang in there...I'm told it gets better...?!


----------



## Aletheia

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP LICKING THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SNOWBOOTS!

DS2, 3 y.o, likes to lick the dirty snow off the bottom of his boots when we get home from walking outside. Every day. I actually heard myself yell this to him upon arriving home today, and put it on my to do list to seek out this thread and add it to the mix.

I've sure said a lot of things as a parent that I never thought I'd say.


----------



## mommy212

THE FIRST ANSWER IS THE SAME ANSWER, ALWAYS, THE ANSWER STAYS NO! THE SEVENTH TIME IT'S STILL NO! STOP ASKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh!!!!! HURRY HURRY GET YOUR SHOES ON WE HAVE TO GO FAST HURRY! omgggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Xerxella

That isn't a WHY question!!!!!!!

It just is what it is!!!!!


----------



## mommy212

please just go in this door... no we can't go in the other door, can we please just go in this door? IT LEADS TO SAME SAME f-ING PLACE, auoyer(*guf(*&df&%aed^!!!!


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## LynnS6

QUIT TALKING AND JUST GET YOUR READING DONE! DO NOT TALK TO YOUR SISTER. DO NOT POKE HER. DO NOT READ RANDOM LINES FROM YOUR BOOK TO YOUR BROTHER. HE'S DISTRACTABLE ENOUGH AS IT IS. JUST SHUT UP AND READ! YOU CANNOT READ WHILE YOU ARE TALKING. NO, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU CAN.

YOU ARE 10 BLEEPING YEARS OLD. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOU OF EVERY BLEEPING STEP OF THE BEDTIME ROUTINE!

WHEN I SAY "GET READY TO GO" I MEAN FIND YOUR SHOES, GO TO THE BATHROOM, PUT YOUR COAT ON, AND BRING WHATEVER YOU NEED. I DO NOT MEAN "SIT FOR 5 MORE MINUTES IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER UNTIL YOUR MOM GOES COMPLETELY BONKERS." NO, YOU MAY NOT GO BACK IN THE HOUSE FOR YOUR BOOK AND YOUR BOOKLIGHT. I TOLD YOU TO GET ALL YOUR STUFF READY 5 MINUTES AGO AND NOW WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE.

REALLY ? YOU ARE 10. DO YOU THINK YOU CAN WALK THE 1/2 BLOCK FROM THE SCHOOL BUS STOP TO OUR HOUSE ANY TIME THIS YEAR? I HATE HAVING TO GO OUT AND SPEND ANYWHERE FROM 5-20 MINUTES WAITING FOR THE SCHOOL BUS TO ARRIVE SIMPLY TO HAVE YOU IGNORE ME ALL THE WAY HOME.

BE QUIET AND GO TO SLEEP. I STILL HAVE 130 PAPERS TO GRADE BY TUESDAY.


----------



## LynnS6

Oh, and I forgot the one that I'd love to say but really can't (I've actually said versions of all of the above ones I posted):

*I cannot believe that you just said "I hope grandma waits until spring break to die." If your grandmother dies while school is in session, you had darn well better not whine that going to the funeral will mess up your perfect attendance record, or Daddy and I will go completely ballistic on you. Grandma cannot schedule her death to please you.*


----------



## kitchensqueen

I love this thread. It's fantastic. Mine from earlier today (and most days recently) -

OH MY GOD PLEASE STAY ASLEEP. WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO NAP? YOU ARE ONLY THREE MONTHS OLD!!! YOU NEED SLEEP! YOU GET GRUMPY WHEN YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT AND I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!


----------



## philomom

Please, stop making the entire house into your personal drum.... and whistling loudly at 6 am does not win friends in life. Grr......


----------



## hildare

YOU HAVE BEEN USING THE POTTY FOR TWO MONTHS NOW. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PEEING YOUR PANTS EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAD PREPPED AND PACKED AWAY YOUR DAMN DIAPERS FOR THE NEW BABY!!!! YOU'RE KILLING ME. *KILLING ME!!!* ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH- #$#@u*b !! $(#$&*# !


----------



## mamablitz

PLEASE STOP SHITTING ON THE FLOOR AND PISSING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!!

hoping its okay to swear. its how I feel- better at the computer, right? third night this week spent scrubbing the carpet because my 2 and 4 y.o think it is absolutely hilarious.


----------



## mommy212

SHUT UP SHUT UP, SHUT UP!! i DON'T GIVE A F-ING ^#@)*^#)@*)$#@&)! aft#@ghsfvlajbfljblj!!!! argghhhh!!!!


----------



## Ann-Marita

You are NOT ALLOWED to borrow my things EVER! *EVER!* You have completely worn out your welcome on that one, kid. You do not return things without repeated requests, and when I do get them back, they are often dirty, or damaged. This has gone on far too long.

Return my tweezers to where they belong RIGHT NOW. I have events to attend today, and I need to look my best for cameras. And my eyebrows need grooming, but WHERE ARE MY TWEEZERS!?! GONE! You've taken them and not returned them, AGAIN. That's why I hid them to begin with. And now you know where my hiding place is, AND YOU'VE TAKEN THEM AGAIN!

YOU MAY NOT BORROW MY THINGS AT ALL!

The rule used to be "If you take it, put it back." Well, that has been ignored for so long that the rule is now "Do not use my things." I bought a new pair of tweezers for the family. In fact, I think I bought TWO pairs. And STILL, MY tweezers are gone!

ARGGGHHHHHHH!


----------



## Imakcerka

WHO ATE MY LIPSTICK?!!!! SOMEONE ATE MY LIPSTICK, SO WHO THE HELL WAS IT?!

I


----------



## artekah

WHY would you throw a sippy cup at my HEAD? THAT HIT MY EYE! WHYYY?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? What happened to my sweet little baby?










Stop destroying my house! Stop hurting your little sister!!!!! Stop being a JERK. YOU ARE REALLY HARD TO LIVE WITH RIGHT NOW!


----------



## LynnS6

DO NOT, DO NOT ask me "Am I your honorable servant?" in a snotty tone of voice when I ask you to do 15 minutes of chores in the evening. FIFTEEN MINUTES. If you want to eat, have clean clothes and a roof over your head, the least you could do would be to help clean up the house once in a while!!! Because if you don't want to do chores, I am perfectly willing to let you cook your own food and wash your own clothes! So yes, you do need to clean all your crap off the couch.

Oops, that was the rant that I actually gave my 7 year old yesterday.


----------



## NellieKatz

LOL! I hear you. This is a familiar situation in our house. And I share your sentiment....all we DO for them!!

I am reading a book right now that's rather obnoxiously titled "The Manipulative Child." I think it's the wrong title because it almost makes it sound like a permanent personality trait or the kid's evil or something. But I must have gotten it out of the library for a reason! It's helpful in that it helps us see when we are being manipulated (which all human beings try to do...we all try to make things go our way), and best of all, what WE do as parents that encourages it. Such as our temperament, our fears, our guilt, or lack of parenting confidence. The child learns how to push our buttons and use it to get out of tasks they don't like and so forth. I recognized all of this in my son (8) last night when I told him to pick his coat and backpack up off the couch (where he had dumped them & quickly picked up a toy to play). Almost instantly, the child who had been playing quietly with the toy was stricken by numerous faux ailments and a paralyzing exhaustion, and started to emit dramatic moans, groans, and complaints, even going so far as to drop to the floor and drag himself along it (instead of walking), all the while carrying on the "too tired" histrionics. Wow! I just ignored it and kept at my business. I mean, at one point toward the beginning when Tactic #1 (ignoring my request altogether) was tried, I stopped the dishes, dried my hands, and stuck my head in the room and said again to pick the items up and unpack the backpack, but that was it. The drama didn't evoke another reply from me; the stuff did get done.

I was grateful to the book's authors for helping me see manipulative behavior when before I might have just thought it annoying behavior that it was somehow my job to make stop.

It happened again last night at bedtime, which is our biggest bone of contention. The familiar litany of "I hate you, you can't MAKE me....etc etc" For once I didn't get into the power struggle. I just stood there in his door way and said "put away the toy, turn out the light, and go to bed." Over. and over. and over. Broken record. He pulled out every manipulation in the book. I'm the worst parent, he hates me, I can't make him, I'm not the boss of him. I just stood there and said "lights out, go to bed." It worked. No threats on my part at all! (for a change) I need to try this BEFORE 1:45 a.m. next time. 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LynnS6*
> 
> DO NOT, DO NOT ask me "Am I your honorable servant?" in a snotty tone of voice when I ask you to do 15 minutes of chores in the evening. FIFTEEN MINUTES. If you want to eat, have clean clothes and a roof over your head, the least you could do would be to help clean up the house once in a while!!! Because if you don't want to do chores, I am perfectly willing to let you cook your own food and wash your own clothes! So yes, you do need to clean all your crap off the couch.
> 
> Oops, that was the rant that I actually gave my 7 year old yesterday.


----------



## Thing1Thing2

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> WHO ATE MY LIPSTICK?!!!! SOMEONE ATE MY LIPSTICK, SO WHO THE HELL WAS IT?!
> 
> I


----------



## Surfacing

DD2 - You are almost four years old. Please leave the freaking nookie at home. Better yet, toss the freaking nookie in the garbage already!!! [turning to bystanders dd1, dh, and grandpa] Stop hiding nookies and buying new ones when I take the old ones away!!! She's four freaking years old already!!! We have indulged her need to have a pacifier long enough!!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!! AAARRGGHHH!!!!

Dd1 - You have a lucky a$$ life and lots of nice things. I spend lots of time and money taking you places, enrolling you in classes, doing things with you like baking, etc. Stop acting like a dang drama queen and get a clue. You have a charmed life!!! Also stop saying SEXY and F*CK and SH*T. Dd2 stop singing "I'm sexy and I know it" Dh I'm gonna kick yer a$$, wth did you play them that song for? So age inappropriate!!!

DS - I love you dearly and have enjoyed nursing you for 1.5 yrs now. Please stop kicking me in the jaw and slapping me on the head. Bedsharing has been working out great until now... these kick boxing aerobics in bed are NOT cool!!! Go to freaking sleep already!!! You've always been a great sleeper but this regression due to developmental spurt is killing me!!!

DS and DD2 - I am trying to work to make some money so we can have some of the extra things that you girls whine about all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REFLECTION IN MIRROR: Who the hell are you? Who is this fat chick? I used to be skinny and beautiful. Now I'm fat and tired. Go away. I want the other girl back. LOL

AAAaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! That feels better.


----------



## KathrynH

What I say every day on the way back from the park...

"You're standing up in the wagon. You can sit or walk. Do you want to walk? Ok. Now you want to sit in the wagon? Ok. You're standing up in the wagon. You can sit or walk. Do you want to walk? Ok. Now you want to sit in the wagon? Ok. You're standing up in the wagon. You can sit or walk. Do you want to walk? Ok. Now you want to sit in the wagon? Ok. "

What I think every day on the way back from the park...

"SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE GOING TO STAND IN THE WAGON AGAIN! YOU'VE GOT TWO CHOICES AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO CARRY YOU. I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO CARRY YOU, BUT I REFUSE TO AKNOWLEDGE THAT. YOU WIN EVERYTHING ELSE. I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE! AND YES DH, IT IS A HILL TO DIE ON!"


----------



## jimblejamble

Jude. I love you. I really do. But please stop screaming at the top of your lungs all day!!! It hurts my ears and gives me a headache. Screaming at me for 20 minutes straight, hitting everything including my chest, because I took the chair away so you wouldn't climb up onto the counter then fall off and CRACK YO' DAMN SKULL OPEN is not acceptable, EVER. Nor is that shrill, blood-curdling screaming okay when I decide not to have you overdose on your delicious chewy multivitamins, or when I put something breakable up where you can't reach, or push your hand away because I'm sick and tired of you reaching into my shirt to squeeze my boob as hard as you can--you've been weaned since April. Enough is enough. If you are going to scream that way it better because someone is chasing after you with a chainsaw. Stop with the attitude too, please. You will be fine and happy and if I look over at you and say "Hey sweetie" you glare at me, get extremely grumpy and throw yourself onto the floor in a huff. What the hell is up with that? I'm trying to be nice even though I'm really sick of the screaming. Acting like I'm the most horrible person in the world really doesn't do you any favors, kid.


----------



## amberskyfire

Stop saying "I was just-" EVERY SINGLE TIME I ask you not to do something! Argh! When I say "stop that, please," don't tell me "I was just kicking your foot a little bit." I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE FREAKING DOING!!! THAT'S WHY I ASKED YOU TO STOP!!! Do I look like some kind of blind moron?! ARGH!


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bellytobelly*
> 
> ROTFLMAO. Ohmigosh, this is my 7 year old!! She actually moved to the back seat in the minivan at a stoplight, because her sleeping brother's breathing was too loud- he's 2! Hang in there...I'm told it gets better...?!


Just now seeing this. I hesitate to say it (no I don't, I share this gleefully







), but my dear daughter, whom I love so much, will be 17 years old in one month. I'd say the freak-outs at her brother peaked when she was in middle school, and have abated a bit as they've both grown up and gained some self-control. But this neuroticism is a part of her personality.

But I suppose you're still correct, while it got worse for a while, it did get better.


----------



## Surfacing

STOP WRITING POO ON YOUR SISTER'S HAND!!!

STOP PULLING DOWN MY PANTS!!!!

Please. Thank you.


----------



## blackbird2

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??? WHY DO YOU ALL JUST WANT ME ME ME ME ME ALL THE TIME? WHEN IS THE TIME FOR MOM?? WHY DO YOU INSIST ON THE SAME DAMN SONG EVERY NAP TIME? (and then not sleep) WHY DO YOU CALL FOR ME THEN LIE THERE THRASHING ON THE FLOOR REFUSING TO DO OR SAY ANYTHING? WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST SLEEP AND LEAVE ME ALONE? AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING? CAN'T YOU GO ON VACATION FOR A WEEK? DIDN'T I JUST MEDIATE A HUGE TANTRUM LAST NIGHT? ARE YOU STARTING A FRESH TANTRUM STAGE JUST TO SHOW MY PARENTS WHAT A GREAT PARENT I AM JUST BEFORE WE VISIT THEM? I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH ONE, ONE, ONE! PERSON AT A TIME!

seriously, what am i supposed to do with you?

<sigh> i need to read more upthread for some good laughs.


----------



## Mittsy

WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT AT EVERYTHING, AND IT'S ONLY 9AM KID?! NO, YOU CAN NOT THROW BLOCKS ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM!! WHY?! BECAUSE THEY WILL HURT SOMEONE! NO, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN THROW THE COOKIE JAR EITHER BUDDY!!!


----------



## kitchensqueen

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SCREAMING. Daddy is going to be late for work and if we could just put you down for a second so I could get on the pump you would HAVE more fresh milk!

Sigh. This ended up with husband being late and me in tears. But now he's sleeping... thank god it's Friday.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *NellieKatz*
> 
> I am reading a book right now that's rather obnoxiously titled *"The Manipulative Child."* I think it's the wrong title because it almost makes it sound like a permanent personality trait or the kid's evil or something. But I must have gotten it out of the library for a reason! It's helpful in that it helps us see when we are being manipulated (which all human beings try to do...we all try to make things go our way), and best of all, what WE do as parents that encourages it. Such as our temperament, our fears, our guilt, or lack of parenting confidence. The child learns how to push our buttons and use it to get out of tasks they don't like and so forth. I recognized all of this in my son (8) last night when I told him to pick his coat and backpack up off the couch (where he had dumped them & quickly picked up a toy to play).


Thanks for the recommendation (I know I'm not the person you quoted, but I'm REALLY glad I opened this thread today!!)


----------



## robin7373

Thank You God I only loudly have to say 'NO' ...mine are a little over 7mths old but the smaller twin knows what NO means because he stops & gives me that look. The other twin doesn't know the word NO & if I yell at him it is instant serious crying & I feel bad. They are not bad at all really so no need to scream at this time but I am sure I will in the future, squeky goes everywhere and likes to try to eat everything especially cords, so I yell NO countless times in one day. I wish all of you the best & this is a great place to scream because when I need to I am going right here. Thanks Ladies, to share what I have to look forward too.


----------



## Imakcerka

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! WHY WOULD YOU DISMANTLE A DEAD OPOSSUM WITH MY TWEEZERS FOR IT'S TEETH?! DON'T TOUCH ME! NO SERIOUSLY DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!


----------



## kitchensqueen

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! WHY WOULD YOU DISMANTLE A DEAD OPOSSUM WITH MY TWEEZERS FOR IT'S TEETH?! DON'T TOUCH ME! NO SERIOUSLY DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!


Please tell me that this is not actually true and you wanted to help us all by giving us a good laugh today...


----------



## journeymom

I'm curious, did the tweezers work? Or did they switch to pliers?


----------



## Alphaghetti

To DD1 - OMFGGGGGGG!! CAN THERE EVER BE A TIME THAT I ASK YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITHOUT YOU ARGUING WITH ME?? OH AND BY THE WAY, STOP YELLING AT YOUR BROTHER ALL THE TIME! HE'S SEVEN AND YOU'RE TWELVE...YOU'RE HURTING HIS FEELINGS! STOP TELLING YOUR SIBLINGS WHAT TO DO ALL THE TIME. YOU'RE NOT THEIR MOTHER! STOP SENDING THEM TO ASK ME STUFF. STOP MAKING THEM RETRIEVE YOUR STUFF FROM THE BASEMENT. BE NICE!

To DD2 - SHUT THE EFFIN DOOR!!! ITS MINUS HOLY CRAP OUTSIDE AND IT'S COLD IN HERE! SHUT THE EFFIN DOOR!!

To DS - SERIOUSLY TURN OFF THE EFFIN VIDEO GAMES! WHEN I SAID TEN MINUTES OF VIDEO GAMES, THAT DIDN'T MEAN TEN ON THEN TEN OFF THEN TEN ON AGAIN. TURN OFF THE FREAKIN TV! WHAT? NOOOOO, I DO NOT WANT TO WATCH YOUR WIPEOUT REPLAY. NO, I DON'T EFFIN CARE ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS IN THE GAME. SHUT IT THE EFF OFF!

To all three - PICK UP YOUR SHIT. JUST PICK IT UP. PLEASE. PICK IT UP. PICK UP YOUR SHIT. DON'T LEAVE YOUR SHIT ON THE FLOOR. PLEASE PICK IT UP. PLEASE. PLEASE JUST PICK UP YOUR SHIT. DON'T LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR ANY MORE. PLEASE.

AND DON'T LEAVE DIRTY DISHES IN MY BEDROOM!!!!!!!

phew...feels better  It's still Christmas break here. They're all home, and I do home daycare. Six kids is a lot to handle day in and day out. Kudos to those mamas who do it every day.


----------



## Imakcerka

Journey and Kitchen it's true. I was painting the trim on the front window and heard DH and the girls talking about teeth I went out back to see DD1 and DD2 in their play house with DH standing over watching and sure enough they had the skull of the opossum on a table. DD2 was giving DD1 instructions on pulling out the teeth. I was like you have got to be kidding me! Then of course DH turned around when he realized I saw my really expensive last set of tweezers as all others have been lost somewhere in the backyard, he kinda smiled like OOPS. What can I say... I let them watch that show Oddities and both girls are interested in the anatomy of all animals. With DH's help they will be digging up a dead squirrel they buried two months ago in the hopes it's decayed enough to clean and put back together. HOLY DISGUSTING! I'm not saying anything. Even though it grosses me out... They are interested.


----------



## Imakcerka

Oh the tweezers worked. And they are keeping all the teeth in an old jewelry box.


----------



## jimblejamble

My arm is not a punching bag!!! It stings!!!


----------



## Vrai

PLEASE go the crap back to sleep! I know your little body is full of energy and still all out of whack from jet-lag, and it feels to YOU like its almost 9AM, but COME ON.


----------



## ~NewMa~

I love you, dear boy, but these fits have GOT to STOP!!!
YOu will be 4 soon and you have been talking for quite some time now so use your words and try really hard NOT to be reduced to tears and make that horribly obnoxious growling/whining/crying sound you make!!!

It's taking all my strength and self control to be gentle with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, help me out a little!!!!!

You're sister does EVERYTHING you do!!! EVERYTHING! Please, I know you're just 4, but please............give me a stinking break!!!!!

I'm tired of arguing and negotiating and bargaining and threatening and yelling.

You're starting to make me think there's something wrong with one of us!

Just cooperate, please and thank you.


----------



## AFWife

SHUT UP SHUT UP. I'm so tired of the whining. If you make your brother scream ONE MORE TIME SO HELP ME...AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH Just don't touch him. Don't go NEAR HIM.


----------



## branditopolis

oh god please shut up shut up shut up shut up

I'm tired of having panic attacks every time we're in the car

i hate that it takes over an hour to get somewhere that's 20min away

stop crying stop crying stop crying

look in the damned mirror, I'M RIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!!!

just stop.making.noise.


----------



## AnnaBees Mama

Oh. My god GO TO SLEEP and stay that way!!!!! I'm right here. You know this bed and this room. Pleeeeeeeeeas!


----------



## MadelinesMama

Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep. Please go to sleep. It's been 4 hours. I'm losing my ability to be a nice person!!!!!


----------



## LynnS6

STOP SINGING! PLEASE!!

Yes, you have a lovely voice. Yes, I enjoy you singing. But really, you have not stopped singing in the last 60 minutes. I'd like quiet!


----------



## Shami

I am so happy that you are an imaginative little girl. I know that I fostered this in you and that it is developmentally appropriate at age four... but NO! I DO NOT WANT TO PRETEND ANYMORE! I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE DOCTOR, THE LIBRARIAN, THE NURSE, THE DOG, THE TEACHER, THE POLICE MAN, AND I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT TO BE YOUR BABY!!!!! MY BRAIN CANNOT PRETEND ANYMORE! I MIGHT EXPLODE IF I HAVE TO DREAM UP ANOTHER SCENARIO, really.


----------



## Shami

4 year old: Mama, I don't want to smell your pee pee.

Mama: WELL THEN GET THE #%$^&*#**#$ OUT OF THE BATHROOM WHEN I PEE! I'D LIKE GO PEE BY MYSELF ANYWAY....SO SEE YA!!! GET OUT, REALLY, GET OUT NNNNOOOOOWWW! BYE BYE. Don't let the door knob hitchya where the Good Lord splitchya! Who invited you to be here while I pee anyway?


----------



## journeymom

Bwahahaha! Oh, wow, Shami, that was beautiful! I sooooo identify with the bathroom scenario.


----------



## Shami

yep! I have a friend who never lets her children in the bathroom with her. At first I thought that was a little weird and I wondered how in the world she managed to do that, but now I wish I had done it that way. Oh well...hopefully by high school they won't want to be with me when i *go*. LOL


----------



## branditopolis

Shami- Hilarious!


----------



## MariesMama

DD, QUIT FLIPPING ARGUING WITH ME!!!!! JUST STOP! STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Also, you'd be warmer if you would put clothes on.


----------



## MadelinesMama

Please stop talking for 5 mins. I'm serious. I cannot stand to hear another word come out of your mouth!!!


----------



## blackbird2

STOP CRYING ALREADY! EVERYTHING IS MAKING YOU CRY TODAY - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? I HAVE MUSIC ON TO KEEP ME SANE. STOP CRYING FOR ME TO TURN IT OFF! STOP ASKING ME WHERE THINGS ARE AND PRETENDING YOU DON'T SEE THEM WHEN I SHOW YOU. AND STOP SAYING NO WHEN I OFFER TO DO SOMETHING THEN SCREAMING THAT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED 30 SECONDS LATER. AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, STOP TAKING ALL YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S TOYS. ARGH ARGH ARGH! IT'S ONLY TUESDAY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.


----------



## LynnS6

STOP MOANING! I get it that you're sick. I understand that your head hurts. But it would hurt a heck of a lot less if you would quit screaming for me because I had the audacity to leave the room to cook dinner. I spent 3 bleeping hours lying next to you on the bed. I NEEDED to cook dinner so the other three members of our family would not go hungry. You really can stand being in bed, with an audiobook for 10 minutes while I throw together a curry and start some rice! You do NOT need to share the state of your misery with me every 30 seconds.


----------



## 3xMama

Please, for the love of all that is holy, start bloody listening to me! I really truly only have the best intentions for you! Stop doing the exact opposite of what I say all the time!

DS---You are FINE. You ate, you pooped, you have toys, you napped, you are right as rain. Please, stop crying and tugging on my sleeve and acting like I am physically mauling you every time I put you on the floor or focus on someone who isn't you. I promise, the world will not end.

Other DS--NAP. Seriously, just nap. No more screaming from your crib (the playful kind), no more yelling, no more throwing toys about, NAP. You are a beast.

That is all.


----------



## blackbird2

Ok, so I've offered you dozens of things to do today. Tons of things that you like to do. But today all you do is whine "I don't want to" or just "No." What is up? What do you want to do? " Well, I just.... um .... I'd like to stay inside....and, well, I was looking at this pen ....." I need to stop asking. <sigh>


----------



## helloannemarie

FFF CAN'T YOU SEE THAT MAMA IS SICK?!?!?! MAMA IS PREGNANT AND HAS HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM. YOU NEED TO SLEEP. JUST GO THE F&*#^ TO SLEEP! IT'S 4 AM, THAT IS NOT MORNING TIME! MAMA HAS TO BE AT SCHOOL TODAY!!! SHE CAN'T HANDLE THIS CRAP!!! GO TO SLEEP! WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP! UGGGGGGGGH I WISH MAMA WASN'T A SINGLE MAMA!!!!












































Whew! That feels better. It actually helps me see that it's not DS's fault since he's just a toddler, has no control over my pregnancy, my PG, my being single, and really, waking up at 4am


----------



## Learning_Mum

Go. A. Way. Seriously! Both of you need to just go away! I am sick of the crying and the attitude and the tantrums! I have tried to be understanding but I have had enough! OMG, why is it not just bedtime already?! And please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP saying "Mamaaaaaaaaaaa! Mamaaaaaaaaaaa!" every two seconds! If you want to talk to me, come and talk to me and stop yelling at me from across the house or outside!!!!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mom2mygirls

PLEASE LETS HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED FOR SCHOOL INSTEAD OF FIGHTING WITH ONE ANOTHER.


----------



## Imakcerka

GET UP, GET DRESSED, BRUSH YOUR HAIR, BRUSH YOUR TEETH, PUT ON YOUR SHOES! THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO! STOP TELLING ME TO STOP TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO! YOU SAT ON THE FLOOR IN THE PLAYROOM PLAYING WITH BEADS! I APPARENTLY STILL NEED TO REMIND YOU ABOUT THE SHOES, HAIR AND TEETH!


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *BetterParenting*
> 
> This blog is absolutely perfect for us. As a mother of a 2 and 3 year old things you say go in one ear and out the other. I found a book that has actually helped me to stop yelling at my kids but use different techniques instead. Check it out, hope it helps everyone on their journey.
> 
> http://07e29cppid2t9ufhgq2cs5hp36.hop.clickbank.net/


BAH HUMBUG! This isn't the right place for this.


----------



## crimsonandclover

Please stop kneading the bejeezus out of my boob like it's an almost empty Capri Sun juice packet.

Stop offering me a toy in exchange for the butter knife. We are not playing "Let's Make A Deal". You do not need to scream like you are being eaten by wild animals because I will not give you said butter knife.

Stop trying to use my phone. Stop dialing people who live in foreign countries. Stop calling the mother-in-law. Or people I don't want to talk to. How do you manage, at nineteen months old, to figure out the WORST people to call? Are you really trying to call CPS? Go ahead, be my guest!

Please do not rip my t-shirt off of me while we are on the bus. No time is a good time to stretch out all the necklines on my t-shirts, but when we are on the bus would be the WORST time.

It's a good thing you're cute.


----------



## Imakcerka

That's what I was thinking. I'm here to yell!!!!!!!!!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> BAH HUMBUG! This isn't the right place for this.


----------



## MrsGregory

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crimsonandclover*
> 
> It's a good thing you're cute.












Oh, are you sleepy? Are you ready for your morning nap early? REALLY?!?!?!?!? HOW SHOCKING! You kept waking me up all night, no less than 12 times did you pull my face, my breasts, my hair. My stomach is NOT for kicking and bouncing! I know it's squishy - you Keith Moon'ed it up in there, little girl. EVEN THE NURSES FELT BAD FOR ME WHEN YOU FIIIIINALLY CAME OUT! Seriously. What did you want? You got your nunnie, all 12 times. You bit me. You pinched me. You screamed at me. WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHY? And now you're peacefully asleep, sucking your little thumb under your favorite quilt, and I've got the bathrooms to clean, the kitchen to clean, the tile floors to mop, the plants to tend, a whole lotta cooking to do... oh, why is Mama so behind? Why indeed! BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T LET ME OUT OF YOUR SIGHT FOR TWO DAYS!!!!! Because Papa just won't do. Because Mama can't do everything with your 17 pound butt strapped to her chest.

It's a good thing you're cute, little miss. This is just about enough of this foolishness!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crimsonandclover*
> 
> Stop offering me a toy in exchange for the butter knife. We are not playing "Let's Make A Deal". You do not need to scream like you are being eaten by wild animals because I will not give you said butter knife.


I swear my ds did this at that age. Only it was a steak knife he wanted. Wanted being the key word. He also gets mad whenever we're eating and everyone else has a knife but him...umm...yeah.


----------



## Dr.Worm

wow..old thread..time for my update...WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO USE COLORED PENCILS FOR SOMETHOMG DUE TOMORROW....YOU HAVE SOME YES YOU DO LOOOK FOR THEM HPW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS/??? WHY ARE YOU ONLY TELLING ME THIS NOW WHEN I AM LEAVING WORK AAARRRRGH


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Dr.Worm*
> 
> wow..old thread..time for my update...WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO USE COLORED PENCILS FOR SOMETHOMG DUE TOMORROW....YOU HAVE SOME YES YOU DO LOOOK FOR THEM HPW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN ABOUT THIS/??? WHY ARE YOU ONLY TELLING ME THIS NOW WHEN I AM LEAVING WORK AAARRRRGH


This is so familiar! I've bought so many boxes of colored pencils. It's not that I don't expect them to get lost occasionally but it's just MADDENING how quickly they disappear, and no one has a clue where they could be.

Maybe I was odd (well, I know I was odd) but I managed to use the same box the whole year when I was a kid.


----------



## kitchensqueen

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> Maybe I was odd (well, I know I was odd) but I managed to use the same box the whole year when I was a kid.


Same here, and when they were gone, they were gone. Until school supply shopping time next year.


----------



## christina777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *oceanbaby*
> 
> WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL BEFORE YOU LISTEN TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?


This my 3 year old son EVERYDAY!!


----------



## Dr.Worm

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> This is so familiar! I've bought so many boxes of colored pencils. It's not that I don't expect them to get lost occasionally but it's just MADDENING how quickly they disappear, and no one has a clue where they could be.
> 
> Maybe I was odd (well, I know I was odd) but I managed to use the same box the whole year when I was a kid.


I was odd too then cause so did I...and she had them in her room lol.


----------



## Dr.Worm

THE BUS IS COMING IN THREE MINUTES STOP BRUSHING YOUR HAIR!! YOU CAN FINISH YOUR HAIR IN THE BUS OR AT SCHOOL. I CANT HELP WHAT TIME THE BUS COMES WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT??? FINE DONT DRINK THE HOT CHOCOLATE I BROUGHT OUT TO YOU SO YOU WOULD BE WARM WAITING FOR THE BUS. DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE A MOTHER WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT THESE THINGS?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHERES YOUR HOODIE?? HOW SHOULD I KNOW???? KEEP TRACK OF YOUR OWN THINGS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I SHOUDLVE REMINDED YOU REMIND YOURSELF!! YOU ARE A HONOR STUDENT SO YOU DONT NEED YOUR MOM TO BRING YOUR STUPID HOODIE FOR YOU AAAARRRGGGH AND NO FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE NO MORE FRED: THE SHOW OR MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE...AND I USED TO THINK NOTHING COULD BE WORSE THAN CAILLOU LMAO


----------



## branditopolis

@Dr.Worm OH GOD FRED. My niece watches this. It physically pains me to have it on. I find myself wincing and actually welcoming the commercials.


----------



## Dr.Worm

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *branditopolis*
> 
> @Dr.Worm OH GOD FRED. My niece watches this. It physically pains me to have it on. I find myself wincing and actually welcoming the commercials.


Yeah lol..the show is not even funny....I just don't get it.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *branditopolis*
> 
> @Dr.Worm OH GOD FRED. My niece watches this. It physically pains me to have it on. *I find myself wincing and actually welcoming the commercials.*


I just made a note to never allow my ds to watch this. Thank goodness we don't have a TV!


----------



## FancyCloth

*ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*



*i hope that get's rid a week full of feeling like yelling..when I get pms, I yell all the time at anybody*


----------



## LynnS6

BE QUIET AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!!!!

When we ask you not to sing loudly while brushing your teeth, starting to whistle does not help! You can't whistle and brush or floss your teeth! And then, when you are brushing your teeth, do you have to hum at the exact same pitch as the electric toothbrush?!! Can't you just be QUIET for 2 minutes and BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!!!!!!

edited because "Be quiet and brush your teet" is something very different.


----------



## Dr.Worm

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> I just made a note to never allow my ds to watch this. Thank goodness we don't have a TV!


Never waver from this!!! I regret tv all the time!!!!


----------



## laurac5

Indy... CHEWING IS NOT NURSING!!! AND _WHY_ DO YOU HAVE TO SPEND 4AM TO 6AM CRYING EVERY SECOND YOU'RE NOT LATCHED ON? (AND CHEWING!!!) IT HURTS AND I CAN'T SLEEP!!!!

Savannah... WHY DO YOU HAVE TO COME TO MY ROOM WHINING AS SOON AS INDY SETTLES BACK DOWN AT 6AM? AND NO, ONCE YOU WAKE INDY UP, YOU CAN'T START OVER!!!!!!! ARRRGH!!!

I'M PREGNANT, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! I NEED MY SLEEP!!!!!


----------



## jimblejamble

When I tell you to stop, STOP! STOP kicking like a maniac every time I change you or dress you! Stop knocking Nana's lamp over! Stop slamming her TV cabinet doors open. We live here for now but this is not our house and it's not nice to break other peoples' things! JUST STOP! I should be able to just tell you and have you stop the first time! I shouldn't have to tell you 20 times and have to switch to screaming at the top of my lungs every single time. I shouldn't have to whack you on the hands every time because you choose not to listen to me! I know you know what I'm saying. Stop staring at me and ignoring me!!!!


----------



## philomom

To my 16 year old.....

Fine! The silent treatment is better than your cursing from a couple of days ago. It's not original.. I tried it on my parents, too.

**********************************************************

Sigh. I have loved every stage of my kids but this 16 year ds is really giving me a run for it. I hear they grow up. Right?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

STOP SCREAMING! YOU ATE ALREADY! AND YOU GET BREAKFAST AT SCHOOL!

I'm not enjoying this 3yo thing. It kinda sucks.


----------



## branditopolis

please. just let me go to the bathroom without having to sing you a song or make faces at you while you're sitting 4 ft. away. I need some space, man.


----------



## LynnS6

STOP SINGING! It's lovely but I don't need to hear the Star Spangled Banner at full volume. I'm trying to grade papers!!!!


----------



## jaam

please put that down, it's not yours. everything you touch ends up broken somehow! STOP BREAKING EVERYTHING!!!! IN FACT, JUST STOP TOUCHING THINGS!!!!!


----------



## HuntressMother

Oh yay! Here we go..

*PLEASE*! for *GODDESS SAKE* dont hit me. *STOP ARGUING* with each other before Momma takes a suprize trip to the beach ( or maybe the bar! ) without you wild animals! *PLEASE PLEASE* stop *CALLING* ' Mama.. Mama MAMA ' every few seconds...Im going to change my *NAME*! (lol) *STOP* making me have to tell you 1000 f'in times to get ready for *BED*! *PLEASE DONT PLOW YOUR HARD LITTLE HEAD INTO MY BOOBS! OUCH SON!!* damn it..

Eat it..its good. *YES YOU DO LIKE IT! YOU JUST HAD IT YESTERDAY!!!! STOP* throwing things when your *ANGRY!!* IF Mommy did that, our house would be *EMPTY!!!*

*AHHHHHH!* Please, can mommy poop??? It will only take a few minutes..please? *YES, poop stinks*! Yours does too but I wipe your stinky butt several times each day..how do you think i feel? If you begged me to come in here while i pooped so you could read to me...*DONT COMPLAIN*!!

Now, thats much better.


----------



## HuntressMother

﻿﻿









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MadelinesMama*
> 
> Please stop talking for 5 mins. I'm serious. I cannot stand to hear another word come out of your mouth!!!


I totally feel your pain. My DD is 6 and Never. Shuts. Her. Mouth. She has a way of turning a 30 second story into a 30 minute story ( if im lucky! ) that just gives me the worst throbbing headaches. And she tends to talk very monotoned which makes the headache even worse. This child talks herself to sleep..everynight. She literally gasps for breaths in between her sentences ( more like paragraphs ). And the fact that she has ADHD does not help the situation out at all.









If we're in the car ( which is the worst place to be with a constant talker..no escape! ) I will have to say ' Hush, we're going to listen to some music now ' and if she talks, i turn up the volume..and sometimes that doesnt even help. The kid just cant take a hint.

DD (







) + DS (







) + DH (







) = Me







Ah, the mathmatics of motherhood ( and marriage ). If only they could have taught us THAT in school.


----------



## branditopolis

*WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?!*


----------



## HuntressMother

No one, it was learned. Lol! I had to figure it out as i went along. Ugh. Ive never been very good at math.


----------



## MrsGregory

We sleep together. I woke up with you nestled so far up my armpit I was afraid you were not breathing for a second there. Then we nursed. Then we went for a walk. Then we came home, and you were asleep for .5 seconds, then we snuggled and lounged. Then we nursed. Then we snuggled some more. Then I carried you about while I tidied up. Then I tried to put you down for your nap but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... so we snuggled. And we lounged. We played with your favorite toys. Then you slept for 30 minutes - oh BOY! I HAVE JUST NOW GOTTEN THE TOILET BOWLS SOAKING, THE CAT BOXES NEED TO BE CLEANED, YOUR PAPA WILL WANT DINNER SOMETIME THE WEEK, I DO NOT NEED TO BE HOLDING YOU EVER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE YOU WILL NOT DIE!!!! Stop looking so pitiful when I set you down, it hurts Mama's heart, damnit. And stop grinning at me like that when I pick you up. If you weren't so pretty I'd swear the little folk left you, you're so much trouble.


----------



## amberskyfire

OMG SHUT UP! I am ON THE PHONE! You are four years old! You are old enough to understand that when someone is on the phone, you DON'T BOTHER THEM! WHY do I have to tell you that EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! I am so sick and tired of you going into full-on panic mode the second I get on the phone and start asking me hundreds of unimportant and inane questions SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WILL NOT GIVE YOU ATTENTION!!! You are freaking driving me insane! I don't care if you think yogurt should be pink instead of white! I don't care if there is a fly in the window! I don't care if there is a freaking blue car parked in the neighbor's driveway! Get over your obsessive need for attention for FIVE MINUTES, would you?!

SHUT. UP. I just want to hear the person on the other end of the line!


----------



## lilbutterfly

Please listen to mummy, Please let me put your clothes on, (child running around naked).Please eat ,...Please dont touch mummy computer,go play with your Ipad,Please dont run with your DS in your hand(child runs,trips,DS broken, second day she got it).Please get in the car,(child goes everywhere in the car) Dont beep the horn(BEEP BEEP BEEP).

Hold mummy's hand when we cross the street!Please listen to mummy please ..CHild: I'm listening! and doing what she wants.


----------



## Thing1Thing2

Can we yell at our significant others on here too? LOL!!


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Thing1Thing2*
> 
> Can we yell at our significant others on here too? LOL!!


Absolutely! I have. It was very satisfying.


----------



## MrsGregory

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Thing1Thing2*
> 
> Can we yell at our significant others on here too? LOL!!


I was wondering where the "Yell at this thread instead of your significant other" thread was.

Dearest, you are one stupid mistake from being hit in the head. Seriously!!!!


----------



## potatofairy

Stop shitting in your pants because you're too busy playing to take a crap!! I am sick of cleaning your GIANT MAN SIZED TURDS out of your underwear, I spent years handwashing cloth diapers- I AM DONE! You are four! Take a dump like a regular dude already.

I throw out your cool Cars underpants when you crap in them; I don't care if they DO have Mater on them.


----------



## MotherCrab

Please stop disagreeing with me on EVERYTHING. Stop telling me NO to EVERYTHING. Stop making me feel like the worst mom ever.


----------



## purplerose

#1-stop with the freaking drama and lies! i hardly believe anything you say anymore. and everyone in the world is NOT against you.

#2-stop argueing with dad constantly. I swear I'm gonna knock yer heads together. and stop being so damned logical-it makes me look bad.

#3-stop crying everytime things don't go your way and stop being a brat to your big sisters and they might actually like you.

#4-PLEASE SLEEP AT NIGHT. and not bite my boobs anymore.

dh-PLEASE HELP ME SLEEP. and when you say you'll do something, please do it bc i count on you to help our life run smoothly.

dogs(3 labs)-stop walking across the hardwood floor the whole time I am trying to sleep and stop laying in the damn doorways all the time. i hate you right now.


----------



## philomom

Sigh... can you please save stomping around the house for some day when I'm not PMSing?!


----------



## sunnygir1

Why do you destroy all your toys and all of the non-toy things you play with? Why is there so much mud and dirt EVERYWHERE? Why is your room such a disaster EVERY DAY! And WHY won't you take a nap when you are obviously WAY too tired to function? AAAAARGH!


----------



## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> dogs(3 labs)-stop walking across the hardwood floor the whole time I am trying to sleep and stop laying in the damn doorways all the time. i hate you right now.


Are you referring to the clatter of toe nails?? Oh my word, "click click click click click click click click... click click click click click click click click...click click click click click click click click..." back and forth, and it's loud! I've got only the one dog, three big dogs must be maddening!

My old dog (14 y.o.?) can't/won't get out of the way anymore, and it's going to cause a disaster one of these days. He shadows me when I'm making dinner, because chunks of apples,carrots and potatoes have always mysteriously tumbled to the floor when he shows up. By shadowing me, I mean he's always within 3 feet of me, even though I'm quickly walking from the fridge to the stove to the dishwasher to the knife drawer, etc. I turn around and walk and he's right there! He used to hop out of the way. Now he just stands there. I'm going to pull a blazing hot pan full of sizzling, spitting chicken out of the oven, turn to walk, and tumble over him. I just prey that the pan goes flying away and doesn't scorch anyone.

I complain to him, too, like he hasn't been deaf for years now. "Would you get out of the way!" "Must you stand right there?" "Dammit, dog, you're going to be the death of us both."


----------



## Storm Bride

It's been a while, but...

DS2: *KEEP YOUR BODY TO YOURSELF!!!* Yes - this means hands. Yes - this means feet. Yes - this means knees and elbows. This means *EVERYTHING!! * This means the toy you're holding. This means the belt you're whipping around. This means the stick you're threatening your sister with, while laughing your head off. KEEP YOUR BODY AND ANYTHING THAT YOU ARE IN CONTACT WITH *TO* *YOURSELF*!!!! How many thousands of times do we have to say it??? You're making your big sister cry every single day. Somtimes, you're making your little sister cry. Enough is enough is enough is enough!!! *STOP HURTING PEOPLE!!!!*

And, while I'm at it, the fact that I dumped the rest of your Easter candy, after warning you about it, does not make me a female canine. I don't talk to you like that - don't talk to me like that!!

There is also no excuse for smashing bottles on the street or the patio (both of which have happened in the last week). It is NOT okay to break toys. And, stop, stop, *stop* tearing up and scribbling on your sister's artwork!!!. You are almost seven years old, and *this has to stop*!!!!

This child is going to drive me insane. I'm pretty sure of it.

Oh, and...

DD1: I love you dearly. You're an amazing little (big?) girl. But, stop having the major meldowns. I can't cope with a hysterical fit every time you brush your hair (or we suggest cutting it), and every time one of your friends looks at you funny, and every time your brother says something snarky, and every time you hurt yourself because you're rough-housing, and every time you have trouble explaining something to us, and every time you don't like a consequence. Being upset is understandable, but the 15-30 minute fits are getting OLD.


----------



## purplerose

yes!! i can't stand it! two of mine are "stalkers" and hang out in the key spots in the kitchen. they all know to stand at me when i get out the cutting board LOL i guess it's all typical but it's just driving me nutso lately. the very rare chance i get to *try* to nap is ruined by the dogs lol (I'm a light sleeper, unfortuneately).

one of my mom's dogs went blind recently and she wears a bell on her shoe. at least mine don't have any special needs!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> Are you referring to the clatter of toe nails?? Oh my word, "click click click click click click click click... click click click click click click click click...click click click click click click click click..." back and forth, and it's loud! I've got only the one dog, three big dogs must be maddening!
> 
> My old dog (14 y.o.?) can't/won't get out of the way anymore, and it's going to cause a disaster one of these days. He shadows me when I'm making dinner, because chunks of apples,carrots and potatoes have always mysteriously tumbled to the floor when he shows up. By shadowing me, I mean he's always within 3 feet of me, even though I'm quickly walking from the fridge to the stove to the dishwasher to the knife drawer, etc. I turn around and walk and he's right there! He used to hop out of the way. Now he just stands there. I'm going to pull a blazing hot pan full of sizzling, spitting chicken out of the oven, turn to walk, and tumble over him. I just prey that the pan goes flying away and doesn't scorch anyone.
> 
> I complain to him, too, like he hasn't been deaf for years now. "Would you get out of the way!" "Must you stand right there?" "Dammit, dog, you're going to be the death of us both."


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

STOP THROWING FOOD ON THE FLOOR!!!! At this rate you'll be in time out for the rest of your life!!!!!


----------



## SunnyPerch

For the love of god, PLEASE let me brush your friggin' teeth already! It will only take ONE MINUTE and we've already been fighting about it for THIRTY MINUTES now!!! Are you waiting for my head to spin?!?!

And don't stick your fingers in your butt crack! It's not sanitary, and even though you don't know what that word means, just trust me on this!!


----------



## Super~Single~Mama

STOP IT!!! NOT ONLY DO YOU SHIT YOURSELF DAILY NOW - YOU CAN'T TOUCH ANYTHING WITHOUT DESTROYING IT! I AM NEVER HAVING MORECHILDREN BECAUSE OFYOU!!

For the love of god, PLEASE let this horrible awful phase pass already!!! Nothing works, and I'm beginning to HATE parenting!


----------



## Mittsy

DS, seriously!! I'm leaving in 30min, I realize the neighbor fixing his car is interesting but I still need to make something for everyone to eat! No I will not leave you out here alone while I cook. WHY?!! Because you're 5, and we live near a major road. No dad can't cook, so we really should go home so everyone doesn't starve tonight...


----------



## LoveOurBabies

DS 4 weeks old







Sleep already! Just stay asleep! Aren't you tired from the SIX hours of non-stop rock/nurse/nod off for 60 seconds/rock/nurse because I bloody well am! It's 1:30am and I swear if you wake up again from now till 2am, I'm gonna commit myself.

DD 3yo: Stop screaming like somebody slapped you EVERY. SINGLE. FUDGING. TIME you don't get your way! And stop taking your sisters stuff. Stop snatching and ripping their stuff and they may actually WANT to play with you. And please, please......... Take a dump in the toilet, not in your night time diaper. It really isn't fun washing your arse for 5 minutes while your brother screams in the background.

DD 5yo: Pleeeeeeeeeeeease go for five minutes without getting offended and bringing on the water works by anything your dad or I say or ask you to do. OMG. THE WORLD IS NOT AGAINST YOU. I asked you to say cucumber in another language because I wanted to see if you could pronounce it (because your sister had trouble saying it) and you started to cry and begged to know WHY you had to say it! It's one word.. Takes two seconds to attempt to say it.. Why could you not do it without a meltdown? What is going to happen when you go to school and are asked to do things?









DD 7yo: Stop back answering your father. It's getting old my dear. And the half an hour silent treatment tantrums are NOT on.

P.S I love you all. Mama is going mad though


----------



## Katie8681

OH MY GOD why do you immediately go for the one thing in the room I don't want you to touch? Why don't you like the play enclosure WHY WHY WHY? It's a huge fenced in area, it has fun stuff in it, it's great!

DH WHY WHY WHY do you not accept that this house needs to be better childproofed???? I am sick of trying to protect your sh!t that you refuse to put in safe places! We have a baby! Things are different and the house needs to be organized differently! GET OVER IT.

I know this thread is for yelling at children but I'm pissed off at DH too.


----------



## MrsGregory

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> I AM NEVER HAVING MORECHILDREN BECAUSE OFYOU!!


I respectfully submit that you are parenting a genius, who has hatched and is implementing a plan to avoid having to share. Ever.


----------



## Bbctchr

What a wonderful place! I just spent 30 minutes reading some of these posts and it is way better than therapy. Thanks to all of you wonderful mamas out there who help to make me feel normal!!

I wish I had some yelling to do but my sweet, gorgeous, insane 3 year old is far from me for a few weeks so DH gets to do all of the coping while I snuggle with the littlest. Feels like vacation!!


----------



## Katie8681

What good does naptime do me if the only way you stay asleep is in my LAP? How, I ask you?


----------



## branditopolis

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Katie8681*
> 
> What good does naptime do me if the only way you stay asleep is in my LAP? How, I ask you?


----------



## branditopolis

Sweetie, please.

I know you want me at your side at all times to bang your toys on and so you have some hair to pull, but momma's gotta bathe sometime. I'm starting to stink up the place. I would also like to eat without your new catlike reflexes grabbing my bowl and throwing it on the ground. I haven't been able to finish a meal since your motor skills began to sharpen. Please, I'm begging you. Let me leave your sight. let me just use the bathroom without holding your hand... I need some space, dood.


----------



## OliveJewel

I AM SO OVER YOU PRETENDING TO BE THE WOODSMAN FROM SCOOBY-DOO AND SWINGING THAT DAMN SHOVEL AROUND AND BANGING IT ON EVERYTHING AND KILLING PLANTS AND BREAKING EVERYTHING WITH THAT STUPID STUPID SHOVEL! AND I AM SO SO OVER ANY SCREAMING IN PEOPLE'S EARS FOR FUN. IT IS NOT NOT NOT FUNNY OR FUN EVER!!! AND I HATE STAR WARS! AND LIGHT SABERS! STOP SWINGING THINGS AROUND AND BANGING THINGS! JUST STOP! NOW! NEVER DO IT AGAIN!


----------



## kitchensqueen

Please, please, please stop clawing and pinching and grabbing fistfuls of my skin all the time, especially when you're sleepy and don't want to go down for a nap. It hurts like hell and my patience is running thin... not to mention the guilt complex it's giving me when I lose it and harshly tell you to quit touching me. Sigh.


----------



## MrsGregory

You are NOT dying when I leave your sight.

Please have nice hands with Mama's eyeballs.


----------



## branditopolis

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MrsGregory*
> 
> You are NOT dying when I leave your sight.
> 
> Please have nice hands with Mama's eyeballs.


----------



## Louplus2

WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY DID YOU JUST DUMP WATER ALL OVER THE BATHROOM FLOOR? IT IS SWIMMING IN WATER NOW AND I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP. WHY CAN'T I LEAVE YOU FOR ONE SECOND TO GO AND GET CLEAN CLOTHES.

I still love you, cheeky little man you are. xx


----------



## amberskyfire

GOOD GRIEF! Why do you keep testing me all day long?! You are FOUR YEARS OLD! You know these things are wrong! You've known it for a long time. You KNOW I will give you time out if you do them. I've WARNED you and put you in time out for it a million times! Why do you continually do them and then stare me in the eye while you do it, clearly trying to get a rise from me?!

I have told you that I just got the baby to sleep. WHY DID YOU COME OVER AND PURPOSELY SHRIEK IN HIS EAR! You know that will wake him up! You know I've been trying to get him to sleep for the last hour so I can make lunch for you. Now the baby is screaming again.

HOLY CRAP, SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD DUCT TAPE YOU TO THE WALL IN THE BACK ROOM AND CLOSE THE DOOR!!!


----------



## LoveOurBabies

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *amberskyfire*
> 
> I have told you that I just got the baby to sleep. WHY DID YOU COME OVER AND PURPOSELY SHRIEK IN HIS EAR! You know that will wake him up! You know I've been trying to get him to sleep for the last hour so I can make lunch for you. Now the baby is screaming again.


holy crap, that's my 3yo and infant right there. she woke him up about 6 times today. and then she screams when i can't come cause i have to put the baby back to sleep. lather, rinse, repeat.









*sigh*


----------



## LoveOurBabies

to my 3yo dd... stop waking and harrasing your baby brother! he's needs to sleep and i'd like 5 freaking minutes without him on me too. no, it's NOT fun to tap on his head and face while he's sleeping. STOP IT! stop tapping him on the head and running off like i haven't seen you! OMG. JUST. LEAVE. HIM. ALONE.

to my 8 week old ds... stop pee'ing on your 3yo sister during change time. i know she pisses you off and this is your only chance to get back at her, but it's not how we handle things around here little man.


----------



## MrsGregory

How is Mama going to do her Brazilian Butt Lift workout if you have dropped your morning nap, hmmmmmmm?

What's next, no one gets dinner because your afternoon nap is also kaput?

Once again, you are not dying when Mama is not holding you. You do not have to be within 1 foot of Mama to remain alive.

No pinching. No pinching. No pinching. NO MA'AM, NO PINCHING!


----------



## mamaclukey

I realize it is your personal goal to own every stuffed animal ever created but I said NO. Asking me please 75 times will NOT change my answer. Pouting and crossing your arms will not change my answer. Threatening to never love me anymore is NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY ANSWER.

And for god's sake please stop asking the neighbor kids for THEIR stuffed animals. Everytime you come home with something in your hands I cringe...


----------



## Alasen

WILL YOU TWO JUST FREAKING FIGHT TO THE DEATH AND GET IT OVER WITH?!?!? CAN I JUST THROW YOU INTO THE BULL PEN AND LET YOU DUKE IT OUT GLADIATOR STYLE? YOU ARE ALMOST 5 AND ALMOST 4. YOU ARE ACTING LIKE BABIES AND I AM COMPLETELY SICK OF IT AND I DO NOT NEED THIS TODAY.

Uuuugh! Worst day I have EVER had with H. and N. since H. came home in September. 99% of the time they get along perfect. Today has already been a difficult and emotionally stressful day, and I'm positive they're just responding to the tone of the rest of us, but DAMNIT. They got up early and have been at each other's throats for TWELVE HOURS.

I've had maybe three alcoholic drinks in my entire life, but right about now, I could use about 5 of them.


----------



## Storm Bride

DD2...I love you dearly, and I know you're not feeling well, but NEITHER AM I!!! LET ME SLEEP. DO not crawl into bed with me at 4:00 and keep me awake nursing and babbling for the next two hours. Do NOT leave the bed, and go play with that obnoxious "learning" toy your aunt gave you (that sits quietly for long periods and I forget that it's dwelling in my house). LET ME REST!! STAY in your bed, and let ME sleep. I'm no good to any of you when I'm walking around in a coma.

ALSO - children of mine...all of you....I love you. You're wonderful. But, I have a concert to sing in TOMORROW (two concerts, actually), AND I have a HUGE tech rehearsal tonight. I do not have the energy or ability to deal with all the crap and pestering you're all dishing out right now. Please, please, please just suck it up for 36 freaking hours!!! Just 36. You can be total hellions on Sunday - AFTER I sleep in!!! - that's fine. Just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't make it so hard to get through the next 36 hours.

UGH. I hate parenting when I'm sick. I especially hate it when I have an under four in the house.

*smacks head on keyboard - stays there*


----------



## LoveOurBabies

Today.

OH. MY. GOD.










To all of my children. YES, ALL. It's fudging fricking random because you're all pulling me in different directions.

STOP YOUR SPINNING. STOP SPINNING. YOU ARE BUMPING INTO PEOPLE, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? JUST STAND IN ONE SPOT. GET IN THE PRAM. LEAVE THE BAG ALONE. LEAVE YOUR BROTHER ALONE. YES, I REALIZE HE IS AWAKE - IT'S BECAUSE YOU WOKE HIM. STOP SPINNING! I SAID STOP SPINNING DAMMIT! DON'T TOUCH THAT. YOU ARE 7 YEARS OLD, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER! WHY, OH WHY DO YOU NEED TO GO TO TOILET NOW?? WHY NOW?? STOP YOUR COMPLAINING THAT YOU NEVER GET ANYTHING - YOU ALWAYS GET SOMETHING. FOR HEAVENS SAKE, I EVEN BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING TODAY. EVERYONE ALWAYYSSSSSSSS GETS WHAT THEY WANT, DON'T THEY? EXCEPT YOU HEY? IT'S NOT A CONSPIRACY AGAINST YOU, YOU JUST HAVE A SHORT ARSE MEMORY. NO I'M NOT BUYING HER A ROBE/PYJAMAS/JACKET, SHE ALREADY HAS ONE OF EACH. WHY ARE PUTTING IDEAS INTO YOUR SISTERS HEAD??? YOU KNOW SHE WILL TANTRUM! STOP PUSHING THE PRAM, YOU ALMOST TRIPPED THAT MAN OVER. SERIOUSLY, LET GO OF THE PRAM! DON'T RUN DOWN THE ESCALATOR. I ASKED YOU TO STAY NEXT TO ME 50 MILLION TIMES. STOP PULLING ON YOUR BROTHER'S CLOTHES! OH. MY. GOD LEAVE HIM ALONE. NO -- WE CANNOT BUY A PUPPY TODAY. I SAID NO PUPPIES. I DON'T KNOW WHEN WE CAN BUY ONE. I FUDGING ASKED YOU TO STOP SPINNING. STOP YOUR F***KING SPINNING. THAT'S IT, MAMA IS NOT TAKING ANYONE OUT ANYMORE.

**********************ripping my hair out**************************

Today is one of those days where I sorely regret this motherhood thing. Children, aged 7, 5, 3 and 2 months.

To my dear DS: You are only tiny, so I don't want to yell, but please stay in your pram next time. Please don't scream like someone is torturing you. I had to pay the lady before I could pick you up. It was 30 seconds. You are not dying if you're not picked up within 2 seconds of a peep. I really did not need to carry you for 2 hours and push a double pram around. I'm sorry you had to put up with such crap from your siblings today.

To my DH: I hate you. Why do you get to go to work?


----------



## rainface

MOMMA GETS TO PEE TOO! Stop putting the bathmat in your mouth! Stop scratching me! Oh my god take a nap already! What did naps do to you that you hate them so much? I promise I'll wake you up if something exciting happens. I will go insane if you don't go to sleep.


----------



## uncertain

SHUT THE EFF UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT. SHUUUUUUTTTTTT UUUUUPPPPPP!!!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING TO ME NON STOP FOR SIXTEEN FREAKING HOURS, I NEED YOU TO JUST. STOP. TALKING!!!!!!! AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP CRYING TOO. I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE WHY YOU ARE CRYING BECAUSE IF THE LONGEST YOU CAN GO WITHOUT CRYING IS 25 SECONDS THEN IT IS OFFICIALLY YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE!!!!!!!!

Much better, thank you.


----------



## uncertain

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LoveOurBabies*
> 
> To my DH: I hate you. Why do you get to go to work?












To this I will add, I don't care that you are sooo tired from traveling for work. Even sitting in an airport waiting room sounds like the most luxurious vacation right about now so stop telling me that you are *so sick* of eating restaurant food and having to work nights while on the road. Really. Because I am *this* close to gouging out your eyeballs because today in Target I had three children who had to poo simultaneously and that SUCKED.


----------



## amberskyfire

DD: OMG! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Why do you scream "NO" every time I ask you to do something?! SERIOUSLY! And stop smearing your food all over your face when you eat! You are FOUR FREAKIN' YEARS OLD! Not twelve months old! You should be over this $#@& by now! I'm tired of bathing you twice a day because you've smeared food in your hair AGAIN!

DH: I love being a mom, but don't you ever come home and say that your cushy job is harder than "getting to play with kids all day in your pajamas." It's not a f&%$#ing slumber party! "Playing" as you so sweetly put it means having to sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" for the 3187346461th time that day, making slime - AGAIN -, cleaning up vomit, wiping snot, trying to figure out how to cook a meal without the baby screaming bloody murder because he's been put down, forgetting to feed myself and being in my pajamas when you get home not because "OMG, I can stay in my pajamas all day, this is great!" but because I WASN'T PHYSICALLY CAPABLE of finding a moment in which to clean the filth off of my body! What, you think I actually LIKE smelling like this? Stop sighing and rolling your eyes because I hand you the baby and beg for FIVE MINUTES in the shower!


----------



## julesz

STOP! STOP! STOP!

STOP DEMANDING SO MUCH OF ME.

STOP WHINING.

STOP YELLING AT ME.

JUST GO AWAY.


----------



## christyc

QUIT F-ING HITTING EACH OTHER AND SHRIEKING LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE WHEN YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY!!!

Slow down and listen every now and then.

Don't shout "NO" at me when I'm giving you a consequence for being mean.

Get in the D*MN BED and quit getting up over and over for hours.


----------



## roadwork

Oh I love this thread, just what I needed.

To DS 5: BODY DOWN, I SAID BODY DOWN; you have to go poop, please wipe faster, (10 minutes later) AREN'T YOU DONE, LETS GO, FLUSH THE TOILLETT, (5 minutes later) COME ON!!! TELL ME THE TOILLETT IS NOT CLOGGED AGAIN? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

To DD 8: please take your things off our bed (little bits of things she brings home from my work and breaks apart), (later) PLEASE REMOVE YOUR THINGS, NOWWWWW.

And, Time to get up; 'I am stretching' 4 minutes later, TIME TO GET UP NOW NOWWWWWW.

After pick up, ok time to get out of the car, everyone just sits there. OUT OF THE CAR NOW, I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIR AND CLOSE THE GARAGE AND NOT LEAVE YOU IN THE STREET, OR MAYBE TODAY I DO WANT TO LEAVE YOU IN THE STREET. GET IN THE FREAKIN HOUSE NOW PLEASE NOW GO STOP FIGHTING AND WASTING TIME. I HAVE TO GET DINER STARTED. YOU SAY YOU ARE HUNGRY, THEN HELLLLLLLLPPPPP ME BY COOOOOOOOPPPPPEERRRRRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Snugglebugmom

Baby boy, I love you to pieces, but oh, for the love of God, just once... JUST ONCE SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 45 MINUTES AT NIGHT WITHOUT WAKING TO NURSE!!!!!

AND YOU TWO, 4 YEAR OLD AND 6 YEAR OLD... IF YOU TWO CANNOT STOP FIGHTING AND HURTING EACH OTHER, I SWEAR I AM GOING TO SELL YOU TO THE FIRST RICH POP STAR WHO WILL TAKE YOU!!!!

There, much better.

I think I will sub to this thread and come back daily to get sh!t out of my system


----------



## Shami

Every body needs to see this! The Mum Song


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Shami*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Every body needs to see this! The Mum Song


Bahahaha!


----------



## MrsGregory

I just found myself yelling: "Butt + dishes = NO! Butt + dishes = NO!" into the phone repeatedly, thanks to you, dear husband. I can always count on you to bring out the best in me.

We got about two hours of sleep last night. Little Miss is teething. You know this, because you WOKE ME UP to tell me you couldn't take it any more and were leaving the bed.

Despite her abbreviated overnight rest period, she was bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8am sharp, and since I had a walking date, I was up as well. Oh boy. Then I got to STARVE TO DEATH while waiting for her to wake from her extended morning nap. Then I got mashed up hamburger thrown on my head. I decided to clean the master suite, since it is currently BEYOND THE EFFIN' PALE in there, so I open the bathroom cupboard to find my scrub brush and what do I find instead, after digging around for a bit? A giant, scary black cricket. Which I have killed, dear husband, I have done battle with the beast and emerged victorious. But no scrub brush. Why? Because you left it in the kitchen cubby, with the sponge we use to do the dishes. After I have been using it on the bathroom floor. But I didn't look there, because who would have left it there? No, instead I called you, to see where you may have spirited my scrub brush to, since you are FAMOUS for relocating things for NO GOSH DARN EFFIN' REASON!

Hence the yelling about why products that clean where our butts do their business and products that clean where our mouths make it possible for our butts to do our business should NOT BE ALL MIXED UP! Nevermind that it will, apparently, kill you to put something back right where you find it.

To recap: Two hours sleep. Giant scary cricket. Must clean bathroom before it explodes. And you added to all that because apparently you want to sleep outside tonight.


----------



## journeymom




----------



## WittyNameHere

This thread is genius. I needed this. I really needed this today. Here it goes:

To my husband: STOP WITH THE SARCASTIC RESPONSES TO THE KIDS! STOP! THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT DADDY'S JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE. STOP! STOP! STOP! Also: When you see the 3 yr old about to fly off the coffee table like he's Jimmy Snuka, stop him. FUCKING STOP HIM!!!!! And, yes, every time he injures himself it IS on your watch and it is because YOU'RE NOT WATCHING!!!!!

To my 3yr old DS who likes to run up to me and scream a number of complaints, directives, missives: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT NICE, IS IT?

And to my 1 yr old DS: LEAVE THE CATS ALONE!!!! THEY DO NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!!!!!! NO, HENRY DOES NOT WANT YOU TO RIDE HIM. STOP IT!!!!


----------



## sundaya

oh yeah.....

STOP WAKING UP THE MINUTE I TRY TO GET OUT OF BED!!!! I'ts nice of me to let you both sleep with us, instead of leaving you to cry like most of the people we know, so give me a break back and let me get up and stay the FFFFF asleep for just 3 minutes so I can gulp a cup of coffee. 5 minutes and I could even get a shower with the coffee. 15 minutes, and I could get all the chores done that it will take me ALL DAY to do with the help of a 3 year old and a 1 year old. And DH, thank you, but really, if you bring me coffee and leave it sitting 10 feet away while knowing I can't get out of bed to drink it, it's NOT HELPFUL. That wasn't a grateful look I was giving you. Dear 3 year old, after waking up the minute I try to sneak out of bed, screaming at me not to touch your pillow, no you DIDN'T. I will touch your damn pillow anytime I want to, because I'm bigger than you, AND I CAN.

And, to the 14 year old geriatric dog, please STOP dropping bits of your food on the floor next to your bowl. Those bits taste the same as the other bits. EAT THEM or LEAVE THEM IN THE BOWL but I'm sick of cleaning up drooly dog slobbery food pieces from the rug, as well as the ants they draw. I really have enough to do so STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, that felt nice. Thank you for this thread.


----------



## journeymom

My 15 year old dog does that! What the heck! Goofy old dogs.


----------



## Career-Woman

Please don't talk so much, please not all the time...mama needs some quite time. STOP TALKING STOP IT. LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES


----------



## Katie8681

NO BITE NO BITE NO BITE. ARRRRGH


----------



## MrsBone

no, you arent hungry, i just gave you food. its time for bed.. go the f**k to sleep already!


----------



## Mittsy

DS WHY are you being aggressive with kids, from what I've observed it's mainly other boys, who disagree or don't listen/obey whatever you have to say?! I thought we were done with this shit years ago, WTF HAPPENED! I feel like I can't take you anywhere until we get this under control no matter how long this takes! Please help me figure out how to help you out so we don't go crazy together....


----------



## MrsBone

So I'm not the only one who wants to cuss out my child, even though it's totally inappropriate.It's nice to be able to vent to someone besides the impressionable child.


----------



## rainface

What is it with the sandals? You beeline for my nasty, worn out, stanky tevas and shove them in your mouth every freaking time I don't lock them up but you drop handfuls of delicious organic food over the edge of your highchair and then look at it longingly! Clearly you're capable of putting things in your mouth! And stop drinking the bath water!


----------



## WannabeaFarmer

Ok so after three years of putting up with being ignored by my DD:

MOMMY SAID STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH!! DD:"Im not jumping, im doing Gymnastics..." Me: STOP DOING GYMNASTICS ON MY COUCH!!! THATS HOW THE LAST ONE BROKE AND HOW YOU BROKE YOUR BED FRAME!!!

STOP KICKING YOUR FATHER!!! HIS RIBS ARE BROKEN!!! YOU ARE HURTING HIM!!! STOP KICKING YOUR FATHER!!! (as she is "doing gymnastics' on my couch)

NO SODA ITS TOO LATE!! GO TO BED NO SODA!!! ITS AFTER 7 NO SODA!!!(at about 10pm)

GO TO BED!!GO TO BED!!GO TO BED!!(at about 12:30am)

STOP JUMPING FROM THE TABLE TO THE COUCH!! GET OFF MY TABLE!! GET OFF MY TABLE!! GET OFF MY TABLE!!!


----------



## Storm Bride

*BE QUIET!!!*

That is all.


----------



## MamaBice

PLEASE LEARN TO TALK LIKE....YESTERDAY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND WHY YOU TURNED INTO A MONSTER TODDLER TODAY!!!!! Okay, I feel better now.


----------



## philomom

You may not use your cell phone to curse at your sister. Do it again and I will shut your phone off!


----------



## WittyNameHere

STOP WITH THE "NO NIGHT-NIGHT!!!!!" You can't walk in a straight line and you're acting like an obnoxious maniac!!! GO TO SLEEP!!!!!

and

JUST USE THE FRIGGING POTTY ALREADY!!!!!!!!


----------



## rainface

STOP PINCHING! JUST STOP! So help me god I will turn this car around and we will stop nursing RIGHT NOW!


----------



## melon

STOP RUNNNNNING THE GIANT METAL DUMPTRUCK UP AND DOWN THE HALLWAY.

STOP RUNNING. STOP CRASHING.

Stop filling it with shoes, blocks, fish food, and other random objects, and stop SMASHING it into the ground and crashing into your brother.

I am SO MAD at my awesome friend who bought you that truck.

STOP RUNNING STOP SMASHING STOP CRASHING STOP RUUUUUNNNNNIINNNG AND CRRAAAASSHHING.

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!


----------



## journeymom

Dear Daughter,

You are unbelievably hypocritical! You would go ballistic if your little brother poked you every time he walked past you like that. YOU ARE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, NOT SEVEN! Now STOP IT! IT'S INSANE!

Cheezus. You get this impulse from your father, not me.


----------



## Shami

STOP DEMANDING SO MUCH FROM ME ALL DAY LONG!!!! I AM ONLY ONE PERSON WITH TWO HANDS. i CANNOT DO TWO THINGS AT ONCE. AND I DO NOT HAVE TO DROP EVERYTHING TO GET WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU ARE DEMANDING.


----------



## lenny1027

STOP. WITH THE CONSTANT. WHINING!!!!!!! EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!! PUT ON YOUR CLOTHES!!! BRUSH YOUR DANG TEETH!!! SIT DOWN IN YOUR CAR SEAT!!! LET'S GO!!! WE NEED TO LEAVE! EAT YOUR FREAKIN' DINNER!!!! STOP WHINING. GO TO SLEEP! ARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Mittsy

I'VE SERIOUSLY HAD TO GO OUTSIDE AND CALM DOWN 3 TIMES SO AS NOT TO SCREAM AT YOU TWO, TAKE IT EASY ON ME TODAY!! I'M FIGHTING A URGE TO JUST RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW!

Why is it some parents make keeping their act together look so damn easy, and with me it's such a struggle no matter how hard I try?


----------



## MrsGregory

STOP TOUCHING MAMA!


----------



## kchara

GO TO SLEEP ALREADY!! YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY TIRED, YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL, GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!


----------



## WittyNameHere

To DS: STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PENIS IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!! STOP!!!! I'M TIRED OF SEEING YOUR WINKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Tmaynard1

PUT YOUR LEGS DOWN NOW! 20 minutes later ABRYN! YOUR LEGS! YOU ARE COMPULSIVELY SHOWING YOUR CROTCH TO OTHER PEOPLE AND IT *&^**^&%$%ING PISSES ME OFF! YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL, NOT A TRAMP! I DONT WANT OTHER PEOPLE THINKING YOUVE BEEN TOUCHED IN PLACES YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN ALL BECAUSE OF THIS CRAZY ACT THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN ME TO RESPOND TO EVERY TIME. 20 minutes later ABRYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....this might seem odd but lately it's a common occurence after my six year old started exploring herself.................................^^&**^%^%


----------



## amberskyfire

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Tmaynard1*
> 
> PUT YOUR LEGS DOWN NOW! 20 minutes later ABRYN! YOUR LEGS! YOU ARE COMPULSIVELY SHOWING YOUR CROTCH TO OTHER PEOPLE AND IT *&^**^&%$%ING PISSES ME OFF! YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL, NOT A TRAMP! I DONT WANT OTHER PEOPLE THINKING YOUVE BEEN TOUCHED IN PLACES YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN ALL BECAUSE OF THIS CRAZY ACT THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN ME TO RESPOND TO EVERY TIME. 20 minutes later ABRYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ....this might seem odd but lately it's a common occurence after my six year old started exploring herself.................................^^&**^%^%


Oh my gosh, this was us ALL THROUGH Target today. GUH! Never again is she allowed to wear a dress without long shorts underneath.


----------



## Tmaynard1

thank you for that! I was hoping not to offend anyone but this is the only thing lately that she really has a finger on my button about and it just drives me nuts.


----------



## purplerose

teens:stop being lazy. stop being dramatic. you freak out like the world is ending and hours later it is a-ok. stop hating on your little sister.

pre-teen:stop being obnoxious to your sisters. stop being loud. stop saying weird things.

baby: STOP WAKING UP ALL NIGHT.

dh: stop telling me you'll do things that aren't going to happen...if you don't know, just don't tell me. and stop working so much. and go to the doctor and get treated for your arthritis bc it's not just hurting *you*. also, stop snoring.

dogs: stop freaking walking on the hardwood floor all night, and licking yourselves when i am trying to sleep. i hate you right now.


----------



## LoveOurBabies

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *amberskyfire*
> 
> DD: OMG! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Why do you scream "NO" every time I ask you to do something?! SERIOUSLY! And stop smearing your food all over your face when you eat! You are FOUR FREAKIN' YEARS OLD! Not twelve months old! You should be over this $#@& by now! I'm tired of bathing you twice a day because you've smeared food in your hair AGAIN!
> 
> DH: I love being a mom, but don't you ever come home and say that your cushy job is harder than "getting to play with kids all day in your pajamas." It's not a f&%$#ing slumber party! "Playing" as you so sweetly put it means having to sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" for the 3187346461th time that day, making slime - AGAIN -, cleaning up vomit, wiping snot, trying to figure out how to cook a meal without the baby screaming bloody murder because he's been put down, forgetting to feed myself and being in my pajamas when you get home not because "OMG, I can stay in my pajamas all day, this is great!" but because I WASN'T PHYSICALLY CAPABLE of finding a moment in which to clean the filth off of my body! What, you think I actually LIKE smelling like this? Stop sighing and rolling your eyes because I hand you the baby and beg for FIVE MINUTES in the shower!


I am dying over here!!!!! Oh my god. You are an absolute freaking classic!









THANK YOU ever so much for the laugh mama. Wow. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really needed to laugh.









P.S I echo your exact sentiments xxx


----------



## LoveOurBabies

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *uncertain*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> To this I will add, I don't care that you are sooo tired from traveling for work. Even sitting in an airport waiting room sounds like the most luxurious vacation right about now so stop telling me that you are *so sick* of eating restaurant food and having to work nights while on the road. Really. *Because I am *this* close to gouging out your eyeballs because today in Target I had three children who had to poo simultaneously and that SUCKED.*


Bwahahahahahaha!!!







Oh man, that does suck. Very, very much.


----------



## petrini

when both parents think theyre right and that the other is wrong, i hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and ur child looks at u lyk what r u guys doing????









or, stop moaning every five minutes!!!







im not carrying u! spiderman doesnt go up every half an hour!!!







(3am) i am not getting u cereal!!! u shud of eaten dinner!!!







grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr death of me daily














feel lyk screaming


----------



## bouncymummy

Why are you slapping the baby in the face?????? Why are you kicking me and throwing things at me??? Who is this psycho child???? Where is the child I worked so hard to raise in a gentle and loving way????? GET IN YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE UNTIL YOU BEHAVE PROPERLY!!!!!! Oh lord....I'm my mother.


----------



## PoetryMom

Can you PLEASE get out of this room?!!!! I told you I needed MY down time. Yes you can use the computer AFTER I have my down time so stop asking me if the 5 minutes are up yet!!! They're not up yet because I can't have any down time while you're in here all over my space!!!!


----------



## NorthernFamily

Quote:


> Gentle discipline is so ready to get spanked in this house.


BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAH!!!!!!!


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## MrsBone

Oh my god. Go the f*ck to sleep!!!


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## amberskyfire

You have asked me that question four times in the last ten minutes! If you don't want to listen to the answer, don't ask the freaking question!!


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## newmamalizzy

So, what, you don't have anything to be "sad forever" about in this particular five minute period, so you're going to dredge up the "I want juice!" episode again?????!?! I told you! We don't have juice! And after four days of tantrums-every-five-minutes I almost wouldn't mind if you ran away to your little pink house to be sad forever!


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## Jill1085

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *traceface*
> 
> STAY. ASLEEP. STOP. WAKING. UP. EVERY. 20. MINUTES. FOR. MILKIES.


Amen, amen, amen. We even all it milkies, too.


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## skycheattraffic

Stay asleep and let mommy put you down in your crib. Have a nice 3 hour nap on your own without touching me the whole damn time!!! I need to be a separate human being for a few minutes at least!! Yes, that includes pooping in private, not reading Munsch books to you while you sit on the potty to keep me company. Seriously, I can do this myself! I'm a big girl!! Go watch your freakin' Elmo that you whined and begged for until you noticed that I had to go to the bathroom! I slept from maybe 12 to 4:30 because you would freak out every time I moved a muscle. This $H1T won't fly once your baby brother or sister is born!
I'm sorely tempted to just drop you off at gramma and grampa's; whining be damned and do something luxurious like TAKE A DUMP BY MYSELF!!!!
Aaaaaaargh!!!!!!!
Okay.. I feel a little more sane even if you're still hanging off my boobs and don't get much past dozing.


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## Thing1Thing2

You keep me up all night and then you demand everything from me all day long. Put me down, no pick me up. You want whatever it is I'm trying to clean with and you will scream if you don't get it right now! I try to sweep - no YOU WANT THE BROOM. So I try to wash the table instead, NOW YOU WANT THE SPONGE, uggghh it never ends all day long!! And is it really gonna kill you if u don't get to be into EVERYTHING your older brother is doing? Really?? You have to pick up his small Legos and eat them when you have your OWN LEGOS?? You scream like someone is killing you because you cant have them and the neighbors think I'm nuts. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! AT LEAST LET ME GET SOME FREAKING SLEEP SO I CAN DEAL WITH YOU!!!!


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## NorthernFamily

OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHSH!!!!!!! LEAVE THE POOR F*@(@*)(*! DOGS ALONE!!!!!!!!! QUIT THROWING THINGS!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Blt178

PLEASE stop pushing your baby brother!!!! STOP taking everything out of his hands!!! NO MORE whining about every little thing!!! When I say stop, F*%#% STOP!!!!


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## blackbird2

why dont' you listen to me? why do you ask me why everytime i tell you something when i've just explained the why? why do you say what and look at me with that stupid blank look and half smile becuase you know you're pushing my buttons? Why can't you just shut up and behave? I used to LIke being with you - what happened? why do you do the opposite of everything I say? And while we're at it, what's up with all the "i don't want to" and "I'm too tired" whining all the time? why dont' you just go the [email protected]#$ to bed and stay there? I can't stand you.


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## scruffy too

Stop saying "I know" after everything I say to you - you obviously don't know or I wouldn't be having to tell/remind you!!!!!!!!!!! You think you're so f&cking smart but really you're just a kid so just listen to me for once - has it ever crossed your mind that maybe I'm smarter than you?!?!?!

And STOP BEING MEAN to my animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really starting to think you have a problem - you're f&cking seven years old and I hope they bite you.


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## MamaScout

BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## mamabear0314

Every time I have to clean up poopy undies because you refuse to go on the toilet I want to scream. You have never pooped on the potty in your life. You're 4.


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## Vancouver Mommy

I'm sorry Santa brought the neighbour's kid Baby Butterscotch and he only brought you a Wii. Next year you're going to volunteer at a soup kitchen and then maybe you'll appreciate all the priviliges and luxuries you have. OMG I feel like such a failure for not teaching you gratitude and humility.


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## MrsGregory

So, instead of yelling, now I pick her up and very softly and sweetly sing to her: "Shut up. Please shut up. Just shut the eff uuuuuup. Leave your pretty in. Stop chewing shoes. You are not having juuuuuuuice. Shut up, just shut up, stop yelling at Mama, I'm gooooing to run away, goddamnit I can't takeitanymore. Mama loves you, but you're being awful, stop yelling stop yelling, I don't need to hold you, leave your pretty in, goddamnit! Shut up shutupshutup. How maaaaaaaaany tantrumns can you throw? Holy crap, now whaaaaaaaat? Shut up, shutupshutup, ohmahgawd please shutup." and so on.

Seriously. Out into the cul-de-sac screaming. She is verbal now, so it's either whining or a plaintive "Up, please!" - there is no more denying it. I have a clingy toddler.


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## WittyNameHere

JUST LISTEN TO ME!!!!! LIFE WILL BE SOOO MUCH EASIER IF YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!!!

and

FOR THE LOVE OF JOVE, DON'T HEADBUTT YOUR SISTER!! STOP IT!!! JUST STOP!!! (I mean, why does he do that!?!?!?!?!! He'll even play headbutt!!! Gets on my frigging nerves.... [grumble grumble])...


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## jtothej

YOUR FATHER CAN LAY YOU DOWN FOR SLEEP!!! YOU DO NOT NEED BOO-BOO AT NAPTIME! DON'T TELL MOMMY NO, DON'T HIT, LET'S GO, SLEEP ALL NIGHT W/O ME, THE POTTY CHAIR IS A GOOD THING!

NOOOOO YOU CAN'T HAVE WINE!!!

HUSBAND PLEASE LEARN HOW TO NIGHTIME PARENT AND I CAN'T TEACH YOU, READ A BLOG FOR PETES SAKE!

WOW, uncap lock, this is an AWESOME thread! I laughed before getting here. Thanks!


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## mamatoabirdie

sweet f*cking hell. please go to sleep. please. all I want is a bath. just a bath. I want a hot bubble bath to feel human. please go to sleep. please. what do I need to do to make you sleep?


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## Flopsy

STOP SCREAMING!! OMG JUST STOP THE SCREAMING. You have everything you need, you are screaming for fun and my ears are about to bleed. Just STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!


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## tm0sweet

Stop asking me for food. You just ate. I know you're fine. You can't live off of pb&j and cereal. I just told you no. Are your ears broken?! It's not freaking time to eat.


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## tm0sweet

Stop asking me for food. You just ate. I know you're fine. You can't live off of pb&j and cereal. I just told you no. Are your ears broken?! It's not freaking time to eat.


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## clairebear3

My hair is not a ladder. Not not not a ladder!


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## journeymom

Hey, it's a little late, but HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSARY TO THIS THREAD!


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## skycheattraffic

Oh wow! 8 years!! Impressive!
I'm about to go ape on lil miss so I'll vent here instead:

Water is a LIQUID. If you don't let mommy put the top on properly before you snatch your sippy away, water WILL pour out and get you ALL WET! You can use it open or closed properly but not any way between. No, I can't change the laws of physics, not even for you!

If you refuse to wear your mittens, your hands will get cold. All the screaming in the world won't change that. See above regarding laws of physics.

I can't help and NOT help simultaneously. MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND!!!!!!

GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF MY SHIRT! You can nurse anytime you want to, you just need to ask. I'm NOT a skanky ho though so you DON'T get to feel me up just for the hell of it!!

If you want to come to gramma's house, you need to get in the carseat. No, we're not walking. She lives 40km away, that's why!!

YES, I KNOW THAT'S MOMMY'S SHOE! IT WAS MOMMY'S FREAKIN' SHOE FIVE SECONDS AGO AND FIVE SECONDS BEFORE THAT!!! Thank you for the breaking news. Now PLEASE just BE QUIET for 10 seconds straight!!!!!

Ok... That at least scratches the surface. Urge to kill fading..fading... RISING!!.... fading..... Lol


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## blackbird2

Shut up. just shut up and leave me alone. i was getting a little frustrated with the puzzle, doing it for the 100th time after already doing it 600 times with your sister this morning, so i said i was going to walk away for ONE MINUTE because I needed to calm down. but no. one minute was entirely intolerable, apparently. if your screaming wakes up your sister, i'm going to go crazy. she hasn't napped all day. why can't you let me be for ONE MINUTE!? now i could really do with 1 hour. your screaming and following me around does not help me calm down in the least. get lost. this is the only time a get some sort of down time all freakin day long, but i was trying to sit there with you because you said you wanted some attention. but when you just start fidgeting and stuffing puzzle pieces up your pant leg, then insisting that i do the puzzle it's not very fun for me. all i wanted was one minute so that i wouldn't yell at you, and look where that got us. i yelled anyway. now i feel like crap.


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## anyalily

Go. To. Sleep. Why can't you go to sleep at a normal time? Why can't you just go to sleep at 8 or even 9 like other kids? Why do you ignore us so much?


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## alessandro

I Love this! I wish I had seen this on Friday when I yelled at DS for pulling the felt board I made him out of the wall. I know he's not doing it to make me mad, but man it took me a LONG TIME to make that thing and he's going to ruin it in 10 seconds. So destructive....


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## skycheattraffic

OMG!!! You can't simultaneously wear and NOT wear the freakin owl shirt!!!! Make up your freakin mind! ARRRGH!!!!!!!!


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## AshleeRose

You are 5 1/2...stop having a temper tantrum every time your little sister plays with a toy because you decide right then and there that you want it to!!!! You already got first choice for Barbies and brought out 10 of them for yourself. You do NOT need your sister's toy...she wasn't even bothering you...she was just playing nicely by herself!


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## 77589

YOU! - Let me finish answering your first question before you move on to the next! WHY DO YOU ASK ME A QUESTION IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE ANSWER??!!?? PLEASE stop asking me a question every minute of every day. Especially the ones I already know for a fact you have the answers to. AND STOP TATTLING ON YOUR SISTERS!!!!! You do not have to update me every minute I am in the bathroom with what your sisters are doing wrong. I DON'T CARE! LEAVE ME THE CRAP ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES!

YOU! - STOP SAYING I HATE YOU! I'm done being gentle on this. If you tell your little sister you hate her one more time I am going to fly off the handle. You think that was flying off the handle this morning? Just wait, say it one more time, I dare you...... It's time for you to start picking up the communal areas with big sister. No, your legs don't hurt, no, you are not tired, you're being a brat, get off your rear and pick up these toys you helped drag out or I AM THROWING THEM IN THE TRASH. NOT. JOKING.

YOU! - STOP BEING A LITTLE PRAT TO YOUR BIG SISTERS!!!!! I know you have speech issues, I KNOW it's hard for you to understand, but you know the word NO and you understand when I've told you to not do something. I am finished with you testing your boundaries. STOP CLIMBING ON ALL OF US!!!!! No! I am not a jungle gym!!!! Your sisters do not appreciate you laying on them! STOP IT!!

YOU! - YES, YOU! STUPID LADY! STOP GETTING ANGRY AT YOUR KIDS FOR DOING NORMAL KID STUFF!!!!!!!!!! STOP YELLING! They feed off you and it makes it 10 times worse!! If it gets to be too much then send them all to their rooms, better that than having a meltdown yourself. PLEASE REMEMBER THIS. I'm tired of feeling guilty afterwards for yelling at them.

You, little one, stay awesome, because right now you are the only one reminding me why I love having kids.


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## MrsBone

Stop picking on your sister because you have too much energy and can't get it out! Ugh. Today was a frustrating day. I know it's because it's been cold and we didn't go outside all day but shit, can you give me a break please?


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## Grover

*Dear darling,*

If I have to sit that bear up at the end of your bed ONE MORE TIME at bedtimes - I'm going to take him outside and chainsaw him to death!!

Don't laugh at your mummy when she's losing her mind - please...just don't laugh...it's NOT FUNNY! (gibberish...gibberish...ranty...gibberish...slobber...)

Thanks for turning me into a walking zombie - my insomnia isn't entirely your fault I know...oh WTH........it IS, is TOTALLY IS!

Could we just have one day when we're not all about the feisty, temperamental, loud, crazy, unpredictable, smart-alecky - ness. Can we make, say, Wednesdays, the day we have: calm, peace, loving cuddles, gentle touching and interesting conversations. Yup.

When you want to cuddle or kiss me, you turn from child into velcro - usually at the most inconvenient times (by design I'm sure!) - when I want to cuddle or kiss you...I usually get a palm hurtling at my nose, or a firm poke in the eye. Thanks kid.

*Love,*

*Your mummy.*

(Who could write ten times this - but only has five minutes to blow off steam online because it looks like you've decided to take a short nap today! Oh joy. Crazy small person you. Ahem.)


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## Bocanej

The screen is... upside down?? WTF??? How did you get the screen to turn UPSIDE DOWN?????? How do I fix this? HOW DID YOU GET THE SCREEN TO TURN UPSIDE DOWN?????


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## 77589

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Bocanej*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The screen is... upside down?? WTF??? How did you get the screen to turn UPSIDE DOWN?????? How do I fix this? HOW DID YOU GET THE SCREEN TO TURN UPSIDE DOWN?????


I have to deal with this a lot! HAHA Glad to see I'm not the only one. Control Panel > Appearance and Personalization > Display > Change display settings > Orientation  Should get it  Oh sorry, just realized it's 18 hours ago, sure hope you figured out how to fix it by now lol


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## Bocanej

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *OceansEve*
> 
> I have to deal with this a lot! HAHA Glad to see I'm not the only one. Control Panel > Appearance and Personalization > Display > Change display settings > Orientation  Should get it  Oh sorry, just realized it's 18 hours ago, sure hope you figured out how to fix it by now lol


Yes! It took me about 10x longer than it took him to do it, but I did figure it out. Glad I don't have to live with it. My neck was getting sore. ; )


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## tillymonster

OMFG ladies. The %$#$% 3yo DD just poured some murky looking-water on my steelhead trout, which I paid the big $$$ for, and really tasted good.


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## newmamalizzy

Why are you having one of those days where you repeat EVERY THING I say in the form of a question??? Gahhh!


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## Katie8681

I hate Dora.

I HATE Dora.

I HATE DORA THE EXPLORER!!!!!


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## MrsBone

If you would just clean up your toys whe. You are done with them you wouldn't have so many things to pick up at the end of the day! Ugh! I know, it's a lesson leaned but that doesn't make it less frustrating


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## rainface

Eat! Just eat like a normal kid! Stop flinging it on the floor without even tasting it! It goes in your freaking mouth!


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## tm0sweet

If you ask why one more freaking time I'm going to walk into traffic!!! Because I flipping said so!


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## blackbird2

what the hell is wrong with you? i tell you to let go of your sister so you grab her and stab her in the arm with a stick. i'm offering to take the both of you to the pool for crying out loud. and you run off. can you listen to anything at all that I say today with out me having to yell it? i should just save my breath - you don't do it anyway. what happened to my sweet child and when can I get him back??


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## dalia

STOP LICKING MY ARM!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Surfacing

Stop yelling at your sister and plugging your ears. Please try to be kind, peaceful, patient and loving!

And you (other sister) stop yelling at big sister!


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## jaam

ds: Quit breaking everything!!!!! I know you're just trying to figure out how everything works, but COME ON!!! I can only afford to replace so much stuff!!!

dd: Be a little bit tolerant of your brother.... seriously!!!! You're not going to burst into flames because he accidentally touched you!!!


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## journeymom

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jaam*
> dd: Be a little bit tolerant of your brother.... seriously!!!! You're not going to burst into flames because he accidentally touched you!!!


Oh boy, am I familiar with this one.


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## MamadeRumi

To DS, when he started making very strange sounds the other night, just for the fun of it:

Please stop sounding like something out of the exorcist! I really have enough to worry about without worrying that you are either choking or that your head is going to start spinning in circles!


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## Sunshinemama8

AAAAAAH! Leave your diaper on! If you absolutely refuse to pee or poop on the potty, then I have no desire to clean up pee puddles off the floor, or poop off of the walls! Enough! I'm done with bodily waste! Please!


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## Grover

Revisiting to yell again:

Please don't use me as playground equipment!!! Every time I bend over to run your bath, pick something up (i.e. 100's of times a day), you jump on my head and back like a crazed monkey. You will hurt yourself!! You will hurt me!! In addition, if you ask to be 'swung' into the air by your hands - DO NOT swing in the air and then quickly raise and plant your feet in my face or stomach or boobs with the force of a ten-tonne truck!!

Repeat after me: Mummy is not playground equipment. Mummy is not playground equipment.

ARGH.


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## nm7300

This thread is brilliant, sad, hilarious, and too late. I already yelled tonight.

GO THE F&*(&^K TO SLEEP! STOP UNPLUGGING THINGS AND THEN PLUGGING THEM BACK IN! STOP PULLING MY HAIR!!!!! GO TO SLEEP AND SLEEP THE WHOLE NIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THREE #*%!(& YEARS! PLEASE. JUST PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.


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## dalia

STOP THROWING THE BIRTH BALL AT OUR SMALL DOG WHO IS AFRAID OF HIS OWN SHADOW!!!!!!!!! THE POOR DOG IS AFRAID OF THE REMOTE CONTROL, DO YOU REALLY THINK HE CAN HANDLE A HUGE BALL BARRELING TOWARDS HIM???!!!!!


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## EnviroBecca

It is not necessary to turn on even one of the bathroom lights, let alone both, when it is full daylight, as the skylight makes it one of the brightest rooms in the house. If you did turn on the lights, TURN THEM OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE THE BATHROOM!!!! And when I refrain from yelling like this but use my pleasant, neutral voice to say, "Please turn off the bathroom lights," DON'T CLAIM YOU DIDN'T DO IT!! YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS HOUSE WHO TURNS ON LIGHTS FOR NO REASON!!

Stop asking me to measure you every couple of days. Remember how the last time we measured you, it seemed you were actually a bit shorter? Just wait a month at least, please, and STOP TWIRLING THE YARDSTICK THREE INCHES FROM THE STOVE!!!

I agree, that's an awful song. Yes, the singer's harsh, warbling voice is indeed dreadful. Absolutely, the lyrics are inane. Daddy agrees too. We all hate that song in our family. SO STOP SINGING THAT SONG OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND GROTESQUELY EXAGGERATING ALL ITS WORST FEATURES!!!


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## Katie8681

I DON'T WANT TO READ IT AGAIN


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## amberskyfire

Oh my god! Stop coming in here every ten minutes and turning on the light and asking me if I have gotten the baby asleep yet!!!! Of course he's not effing asleep!!!! You keep coming in here every few minutes and waking him up!!! I keep having to start all over again from the beginning!!! Do you think I like just sitting here staring into the darkness so much that ill never come out again? Why do you make me want to scream?! Just sit down with a book and shut up until I come in there for chrissakes!!! Aaarrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!!!!


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## Sunshinemama8

When it's still dark out...and the house is still quiet...do not walk into your sisters' rooms, blow them kisses, and then slam their doors. It was 5:30am, and I'm pregnant...NO ONE BUT YOU WANTS TO BE UP AT THIS HOUR! It's one thing to get you breakfast, and then lounge on the couch...it's another thing to get you and both your sisters breakfast that I have to monitor closely so your youngest sister doesn't choke...so puhleeeeeese, come wake me first (or stay in your bed and read!), and leave your very irritable sisters ASLEEP!


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## amberskyfire

STOP STANDING 100 TIMES A DAY WITH THE DOOR OPEN TO TALK TO ME WHILE YOU LET EVERY FREAKING MOSQUITO IN THE WORLD INTO THE HOUSE!!! YOUR BROTHER IS ALLERGIC TO MOSQUITOES!!! IT'S A FREAKING *SCREEN DOOR*! YOU CAN TALK TO ME *THROUGH IT*!!!!


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## MamadeRumi

I DON'T KNOW WHY! I'M SORRY. I'VE ANSWERED THAT QUESTION A MILLION TIMES TODAY AND I'M ALL OUT OF IDEAS. I THINK I'M OUT OF BRAINCELLS. I DON'T KNOW WHY!


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