# little girl going to bathroom w/daddy



## richella

Okay. On another (mainstream) site, there was some discussion about a father taking a little girl to a public bathroom. Everyone agreed that they should go to the stall and maybe cover the girl's eyes until they got in, and if the dad has to go, she stands outside the stall but facing the door . . . one dad would put a handkerchief over her head. Apparently there is an issue here that never crossed my mind. Dh takes our 3.5 yo to public bathrooms regularly and has never expressed any concern to me. He even took her to swimming lessons last winter and they changed in the men's locker room. I'm a little confused as to who they are trying to protect here. Or what the harm would be in a little girl seeing a man urinate. Am I crazy? Call it as you see it.

(This on the day dd and I were looking at an anatomy book and she said something about a penis so I said, "Want to see a picture of a penis? Looks like it's on page 514 . . .")







:


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## 3babesunder3

wow, I didn't think it was such a big deal either. i think covering their eyes or making them turn the other direction makes a bigger deal out of it. that's why i love family washrooms...but come to think of it, i've never seen a "dad" in a family washroom....i actually don't really get gender washrooms anyway.


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## alegna

I think those other people are off their rockers. Dh takes dd to the bathroom all the time (she's nearly 4 for the record...)

But I have no issues with nudity. We all see it all around here. I'd be fine with unisex bathrooms personally.

-Angela


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## Marsupialmom

OMG!!!!! Dad has a penis and uses it to pee how harming.


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## milehighmonkeys

Maybe they think they guys urinating would be uncomfortable with a small girl in the restroom. I know that I don't like it when I'm in a public restroom doing my thing and some strange little boy sticks his head under the wall to my stall. It's happened a couple times.







It's not that I think they'll _see_ something, I just think it's rude and an invasion of privacy.

ETA: I wouldn't like it if a little girl stuck their head in my stall either, it's just that it hasn't happened.


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## Kelly Jene

I think as long as the parent is with the child, it doesn't matter. If someone else has a problem with it, then the problem is with them.


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## annethcz

I don't think it's a big deal at all. As a PP said, I think that the bigger issue is a man feeling uncomfortable with a small girl seeing him. In any case, DH has taken our daughters into the men's room many times.


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## Mama_Michelle

DH takes our DDs (almost 5 yr and 2 yr) into public bathrooms, I don't think its a big deal at all. Although DH was a little embarrassed after swimming lessons when DD2 would inform the men in the locker room, while pointing, that they each had a penis!


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## cedoreilly

I don't see anymore of a problem with it as a mom taking their son into the bathroom (which I do regularly).


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## LookMommy!

This weekend at the campgrounds there was a man in the ladies bathroom with his little girl. Not just bathroom stalls, but a shower area too, with a common locker room!


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## mamazee

That's bizarre. My husband takes our daughter to the men's room. I don't think it's ever been an issue for anyone.


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## ThreeBeans

DH takes dd, 2 into the men's room all the time.

However, I think the issue arrises that men using urinals may be a little shocked and uncomfortable to see an older girl-child come into the bathroom while they have it all hanging out, so to speak.


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## Jessy1019

We don't think it's a big deal at all. Sometimes my daughter (5.5) wants to use the bathroom with daddy, sometimes she wants me to go with her (ok, if daddy's around, chances are she wants to go with him







). In some places, she can go by herself and sometimes she uses the men's and sometimes the women's. It's just not a big deal to us. She sees her dad pee at home, she knows what penises look like, and she's not going to be freaked out if she sees a man peeing in a public restroom.

These things are only a big deal if you make them one!

Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.


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## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 

Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.

Count your blessings. Men smell.


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## MacKinnon

This is why I am so glad that most new built public spaces have a family or unisex bathroom







Not that I or DH mind DD going with him, which she does regularly, but because on a societal level it is such a big deal! And, eventually when DS and DD don't feel comfortable going with us to the opposite sex bathroom, they can go with us, or by themselves into a family bathroom that is usually just one toilet with a locking door (or two toilets-- one little and one big!)

My DD has spent the last 2 years or so going swimming with grandpa once a week. They change in the family locker rooms, which are 5 big rooms with individually locking doors and changing tables. Lockers and showers in a common area that opens onto the pool deck, so you shower in your suit, grab your bag and dress in the locked room. Anyway, this was only a problem for a short period of time when we learned that I was expecting DS, a boy, who would have a penis. DD delighted in telling everyone what sort of genitalia they had, so she would point and shout to fully clothed people "You have a penis! My baby brother will have a penis too!" So, in the changing room with grandpa for two or three weeks, she would shout, "Grandpa! You have a penis! I have a vagina! My baby brother will have a penis!" etc. My poor FIL would come home so embarrased!


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## ThreeBeans

Oh, and talk about some awesome family bathrooms! We were in the Natick Mall, (excuse me, NATICK COLLECTION, GAG) a few months ago. IT was a normal shopping mall until they changed it up a few years ago with all high end stores and expensive luxury condos.

Anyhow, the bathrooms were AMAZING....beautiful fixtures, velvet couches, etc.

And they had these HUGE family bathrooms. With one big toilet and one little toilet. It was adorable









They also had nursing/mothers rooms independent of the bathrooms


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## Jessy1019

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Count your blessings. Men smell.

Do they have cooties, too?


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## Redifer

DH takes DD (4 next week!) to the public restroom all the time. Usually, he's the only one who'll take her, for two reasons:
1. She wants Dad to take her
2. The baby is going through some seperation anxiety with me, so I stay with her while DD1 goes potty

We have actually had family members bring it up to us, because it never occurred to us before that we were somehow harming our child by letting her pee. It just isn't an issue for us.

And so far, we've never had a guy feel uncomfortable with DD walking in. Usually, when she decides to finally pee, she's had to go for a while and she flat-out RUNS to the stall. Not to mention, it's fairly kid-friendly around here, and not odd at all to see little boys in the women's room/little girls in the men's room. It just isn't a big deal.

And putting a handkerchief over a girl's head so as not to see her father peeing?! That's a bit disturbing, actually. I'm sorry, the women on that other board are, frankly, nuts. They're creating something sexual and perverted out of a normal biological function.


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## ThreeBeans

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
Do they have cooties, too?









Have you ever been in a men's bathroom when men are doing their business?









It is absolutely horrifying. The gastronomical noises...the grunts, the groans....the...moving air









The splashing, the farting, the popping. The PLONKING.

And the smell is enough to make your eyes bleed.

I'd rather poop among ladies


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## CowsRock

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovemyavery* 
DD delighted in telling everyone what sort of genitalia they had, so she would point and shout to fully clothed people "You have a penis! My baby brother will have a penis too!" So, in the changing room with grandpa for two or three weeks, she would shout, "Grandpa! You have a penis! I have a vagina! My baby brother will have a penis!" etc. My poor FIL would come home so embarrased!
















laughup The thought of this happening to my dad makes this even more funny!


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## WeasleyMum

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.

Well, squatting over those urinals can be a bit tricky...


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## alegna

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Count your blessings. Men smell.

Women do too... both bathrooms smell when not clean...

-Angela


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## moondiapers

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 

These things are only a big deal if you make them one!

Personally, I'm all for unisex restrooms . . . I don't get why, as a girl, I shouldn't pee in the same facility that a guy uses.


Cuz they sprinkle when they tinkle. After cleaning many a men's room.... ewwww. Women are gross too, but they don't USUALLY pee ALL OVER the seat, and the floor next to the toilet.


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## Redifer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
Cuz they sprinkle when they tinkle. After cleaning many a men's room.... ewwww. Women are gross too, but they don't USUALLY pee ALL OVER the seat, and the floor next to the toilet.

LOL I beg to differ. I have encountered many stall used by a very sloppy 'hover-er' who managed to pee EVERYWHERE. I never understood the logic: if one is hovering to avoid someone else's pee, wouldn't one at least clean up your own after one had doused the entire stall?


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## Catherine12

I think if a girl is young enough to need help in the bathroom she is too young for the nudity to be a problem.


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## moondiapers

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Redifer* 
LOL I beg to differ. I have encountered many stall used by a very sloppy 'hover-er' who managed to pee EVERYWHERE. I never understood the logic: if one is hovering to avoid someone else's pee, wouldn't one at least clean up your own after one had doused the entire stall?

I've encountered this only OCCASIONALLY in a women's room, but EVERY TIME in a men's room.


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## Demeter9

That's just ridiculous. Actually, I want to say something less pleasant about it, but I'm sure it violates the UA.

A HANKERCHIEF? People have got some seriously big hang ups.

Oh, and I'm sorry about the kids trying to peek under the stall. Even the 6 year old tries to do it. It is very embarassing. Thankfully most people just seem to laugh when they hear me saying, "Oh for God's sakes don't try and get into other stalls. Get back up!" They think it is very funny. The fact that a few people have laughed about it (as I probably would) has just added to the charm.


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## amcal

My husband covers our girls eyes if he has to take them into the bathroom. We're fine with nudity, it's not a huge issue here but, it's also family. I think having little girls walk into a restroom to a line of random men with their penises out peeing is a bit much.

But, it's not something I ever even though of or something the girls ever brought up, it's something DH does because it bothers him. The thought of his little girls seeing a line of men peeing bothers him so his comfort dictates he cover their eyes.

I don't know that I see a huge issue either way.

Hell, I'm just glad that DH will even take the girls to the bathroom every once in a while so I can eat an entire meal without having to get up so if that means a hand over the eyes for the 5 seconds it takes to get in a stall then I'm ok with that. And ultimately, I just think it teaches kids a lesson about privacy. That when we go potty, it's private. We don't look at strangers and they don't look at us. Is that such a bad message?


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## dynamicdoula

Let us bear in mind the intense scrutiny men go under nowadays with the child pornography and incest and molestation things in the media and whatnot. Men are perpetrators until proved otherwise. By covering her eyes, you eliminate any chance she was 'sexualized' by the experience, that she'll go home and say something about a strangers penis or that daddy took me into a room full of men with their pants down or any other innocent comments that could be taken another way.

It's not something I would ask my husband to do, but we live in a culture of fear so I VERY MUCH understand why these dads feel this way.


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## Doodlebugsmom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
Cuz they sprinkle when they tinkle. After cleaning many a men's room.... ewwww. Women are gross too, but they don't USUALLY pee ALL OVER the seat, and the floor next to the toilet.


Wouldn't the men use urinals, though?

Dh takes dd (6) into the men's bathroom if they're out and about together. He takes the kids out without me all the time. He has since they were babies. What choice does he have other than to take dd into the men's with him? I should add that most of the places we go have a one-toilet bathroom, so you wait your turn to go in. He has taken them to movies and the mall a few times, so they have been in the larger bathrooms too.

I was at a sports event in the Netherlands several years ago. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the bathroom and there was a line of urinals packed with men along one wall, and stalls with doors on the opposite wall! It wasn't a big deal to people there. It wasn't a big deal to me either. It wasn't dirty or smelly at all. They also had these outdoor urinals in Amsterdam. I thought that was pretty crazy. Only for men, though. That was a bit unfair!


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## dynamicdoula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Have you ever been in a men's bathroom when men are doing their business?









It is absolutely horrifying. The gastronomical noises...the grunts, the groans....the...moving air









The splashing, the farting, the popping. The PLONKING.

And the smell is enough to make your eyes bleed.

I'd rather poop among ladies









My husband comes home and tells me stories, actually..














And he says the women's bathroom is backed against he mens so while he's having his constitutional he can hear equally loud noises at time coming from the lady's side... hehe

I refuse to poop in public.


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## jwpsgurl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cedoreilly* 
I don't see anymore of a problem with it as a mom taking their son into the bathroom (which I do regularly).

ya, what's the difference!


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## Peony

Not a problem in our house. DD1 is 5 and *sometimes* in a bathroom that she knows well can go by herself, otherwise when DH is out with her he takes her in with him. Really, what is so special about a penis?


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## Dena

I actually asked dh about this once just after dd1 turned three and started to notice such things (she told me Papa had a "thing hanging down from his butt" so we had a discussion about penises...







).

I asked because I am an only child and was raised mostly by a single mom (my dad died when I was 8, and even when he was alive, would not leave the bathroom in less than a t-shirt and briefs), and, really, I didn't know if it was a problem.

Anyway, he used to be a teacher and has some early childhood ed. experience, and his take on it is that it is something they remember, but just seeing naked people has not been proven to be traumatic for little ones.

Since I trust my dh implicitly not to do anything that is not in our girls' best interests (he gets very cute and Papa Bear-ish where his girls are concerned), for me this was the end of it, and dh still takes dd1 into public mens' rooms. Frankly, how else would he ever leave the house alone with her (and she loves daddy-Sofie time!)? She is still too young to go by herself and, honestly, I would be concerned about her going into a public restroom alone for a few years yet, not because she didn't know how to go potty alone, but because there are other things that can go on. Not all predators are men.


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## Dena

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peony* 
Really, what is so special about a penis?









LOTS of things!







:

But I know what you mean.


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## Jessy1019

I'm still not seeing the big deal with unisex bathrooms. There could be urinals, and stalls, and frankly, I've been in smelly gross restrooms of both sexes (I'm not terribly discriminate about which one I use) . . . it's a bathroom, it's going to smell sometimes.


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## onlygirls

DH will take our girls to the mens restroom. The oldest is 5 and it seems like lately she has gone by herself to the bathroom even when I am with her. I think they tend to go on their own just as they develop modesty at home.

But if DH takes our girls, he goes to a stall. He is verrry overprotective of them and has not had any issues yet. If men are using a urinal, how can you see anything? They unzip their pants/shorts and stand there. So unless a child is standing next to them, they wouldn't see anything but their clothed bodies.

We have taught our gilrs about penises, so I don't think it would be a big deal anyway.


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## amcal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jwpsgurl* 
ya, what's the difference!


Women urinate in stalls with the door closed, men are standing in view of those around them with their penises necessarily exposed in order to urinate.

For some, it can be uncomfortable to bring a young child of the opposite sex into a bathroom where they might see the genitalia of the adults standing there using the facilities. My DH is one of them. It makes him uncomfortable to bring our daughters into the bathroom with him if there are men standing at the urinal peeing.


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## MommytoTwo

Quote:

one dad would put a handkerchief over her head
you have got to be kidding me. it never even occured to me.


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## tuansprincess

I am wondering who all these men who completely expose their penis to pee are. My dh can't be an anomaly when it comes to this. Standing next to him, I can't see a thing but a stream of pee.







:

oh yeah - and standing outside the stall - um, isn't the child w/ them so that the child isn't left alone?


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## richella

Thanks everybody! Dh laughed when I told him about this. He took dd swimming just today. I don't know that she has commented about anybody's genitalia there, but when she was going to lessons there was a man there most of the days who looked very straight when dressed, but had tons of tattoos that they could see when he was undressed, and I guess she was impressed by that.


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## Heavenly

Well I will be the lone dissenting vote. We believe in modesty about the human body and don't have our opposite sex children seeing us naked. Even our same sex children don't usually see us naked. We don't see the need. No we are not teaching our kids that the human body is wrong but that it is private. No way would my husband take our daughters into a men's bathroom where they could be see an exposed man. The have plenty of time to see an adult penis - when they are an adult and married to the owner.


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## waiflywaif

So is your husband never alone with your daughters, then? How would he handle bathroom trips when out and about?

I think that never having one-on-one time with your dad is much more damaging than the remote possibility of seeing a grown man pee. And this is a public bathroom we're talking about...not a steamroom or a locker room. Guys don't just walk around waving their penises.


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## Heavenly

My husband is alone with the kids all the time. When he takes my 5 year old daughter he stands outside the women's room while she runs in. He opens the door a crack to ask if she's okay if she takes too long. Most places he goes to have a family bathroom so it's not an issue.


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## richella

So I was telling dh about this thread and he made an interesting point. He thinks that if a child has experience with matter-of-fact, meaningless expression of bodily functions, then if and when she is exposed to a dangerous situation with a person who has intentions regarding her, she will be more prepared to know the difference.


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## heket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
My husband is alone with the kids all the time. When he takes my 5 year old daughter he stands outside the women's room while she runs in. He opens the door a crack to ask if she's okay if she takes too long. Most places he goes to have a family bathroom so it's not an issue.

Personally, it gives me the creeps when a guy stands outside the ladies restroom door and yells in. I would rather he just take the (I'm assuming in most instances) girl child to the men's room. Of course, there are some men doing this to communicate to a girlfriend, spouse, or other relation, child or adult. For an adult, why can't they just wait. For a child, I personally feel that in most cases about age 6 or older is ok for them to be alone in the restroom with a guardian/adult/caregiver of either sex waiting out front.


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## heket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Well I will be the lone dissenting vote. We believe in modesty about the human body and don't have our opposite sex children seeing us naked. Even our same sex children don't usually see us naked. We don't see the need. No we are not teaching our kids that the human body is wrong but that it is private.

I thought all aspects of my mother, clothed or undressed were beautiful (and still are.) This probably should be it's own thread, but I don't understand why it's so wrong for a child to see a naked body. We all have one.


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## dynamicdoula

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heket* 
I thought all aspects of my mother, clothed or undressed were beautiful (and still are.) This probably should be it's own thread, but *I don't understand why it's so wrong for a child to see a naked body*. We all have one.

It's a personal family preference which every family is free to make, without being questioned about it.

I don't think the concept of not seeing other people naked was presented as being 'so wrong', rather that it is a sacred thing that should be shared only in the marriage bed. It might not be my value but I wouldn't describe it as viewing things as 'wrong'. I don't think that's fair or accurate.

We all have our own values about this and they vary slightly or greatly - let's be sensitive.


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## amcal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dynamicdoula* 
It's a personal family preference which every family is free to make, without being questioned about it.

I don't think the concept of not seeing other people naked was presented as being 'so wrong', rather that it is a sacred thing that should be shared only in the marriage bed. It might not be my value but I wouldn't describe it as viewing things as 'wrong'. I don't think that's fair or accurate.

We all have our own values about this and they vary slightly or greatly - let's be sensitive.
















Thank you for this lovely and sensitive response.


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## One_Girl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heket* 
I thought all aspects of my mother, clothed or undressed were beautiful (and still are.) This probably should be it's own thread, but I don't understand why it's so wrong for a child to see a naked body. We all have one.


ITA and I always have, but my mother took the oppossite view and wouldn't even undress or allow us to undress in a women's changing room. It didn't do me any lasting harm though nor did it change how I view the human body. It is a personal choice and unless you are shaming a child or telling him the human body is dirty and disgusting I don't think it is harmful to make your child change in a restroom or at home. They can do what they like to do and choose their own values when they are old enough to go to the pool without you whether it is to be more or less concerned about nakedness.


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## neverdoingitagain

Ok I'm confused.
Hypothetically, if your dh is taking your dd to the men's bathroom, wouldn't she be in the stall? What would the point be of placing a little girl who needs to pee OUTSIDE the stall with a hankerchief on her head? If your dh is using the stall, why did he bring dd in? I'm assuming this is only when is dh and dd out alone?
If its a family, meaning mom/dad/children, isn't dh capable of peeing ALL BY HIMSELF














I must be missing something.
Anyway, my dh would bring our dd into the stall, and just make her face the door(inside the stall). He's kind of modest though. He also sits when peeing most of the time (you didn't hear it from, I didn't tell you that







)


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## momo7

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3babesunder3* 
wow, I didn't think it was such a big deal either. i think covering their eyes or making them turn the other direction makes a bigger deal out of it. that's why i love family washrooms...but come to think of it, i've never seen a "dad" in a family washroom....i actually don't really get gender washrooms anyway.


I love the family washroom idea...it relieves so much awkwardness...however....I would NOT want to use the same bathroom with a man I didn't know so in that way I am very grateful for separate washrooms...


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## amcal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
Ok I'm confused.
Hypothetically, if your dh is taking your dd to the men's bathroom, wouldn't she be in the stall? What would the point be of placing a little girl who needs to pee OUTSIDE the stall with a hankerchief on her head? If your dh is using the stall, why did he bring dd in? I'm assuming this is only when is dh and dd out alone?
If its a family, meaning mom/dad/children, isn't dh capable of peeing ALL BY HIMSELF














I must be missing something.
Anyway, my dh would bring our dd into the stall, and just make her face the door(inside the stall). He's kind of modest though. He also sits when peeing most of the time (you didn't hear it from, I didn't tell you that







)

Uh, yeah, I think you're missing something







Clearly, if the father is out with the family and he needs to go to the bathroom, he would go by himself. The issue in this thread is if dad is out with the kids and no other parent is available, what do you so if an opposite sex child needs to use the bathroom (or even if you as the parent need to use the bathroom and you're alone with your opposite sex child).

And yes, I would think a father would just take his daughter into the stall. But, she may still need to walk past men who are urinating at the urinal and the concern is that the child may see something that makes the parent uncomfortable. This is where the covering the eyes comes into play.


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## neverdoingitagain

In which case, where are these hypothetical men that turn around while peeing to show their goods off to everyone? Seriously? The most anyone would see is their back.


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## amcal

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
In which case, where are these hypothetical men that turn around while peeing to show their goods off to everyone? Seriously? The most anyone would see is their back.

I don't think it so much that people believe men are whipping their penises around while doing the gig in the middle of the restroom. I think it's more the possibility that something could be seen as men are standing there urinating. I asked DH about it and he says that in the urinals where they don't have sides, you can see the tips of penises while men are peeing. It's a comfort thing and I think it's ok that some parents are not comfortable with it.


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## lyttlewon

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
My husband is alone with the kids all the time. When he takes my 5 year old daughter he stands outside the women's room while she runs in. He opens the door a crack to ask if she's okay if she takes too long. Most places he goes to have a family bathroom so it's not an issue.

DD is still potty learning and can't wipe herself sometimes or get her pants on/off. I think it is great you can do that in your family but DD needs bathroom assistance and needs someone in there with her. What does your DH do if she needs help?


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## LionessMom

my DH doesnt like to take our girls into the reatroom b/c they are nasty!!!!!
that is the only reason he gave me. i dont blame him. everytime i had to go into a mens restroom they stink and are gross.


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## Yo Becca

I'm so not concerned with my DD seeing possibly some portion of someone's penis in the bathroom. She doesn't yet think that there is anything special about a penis or anything to be embarassed about, and I'm not going to tell her otherwsie. DH takes her all the time when they are out together. I'm sure when she develops modesty about her own body, she'll want more discretion - but by then she'll be able to go to the women's room by herself.

Really, DH is just as likely to help her pee in the grass in a parking lot as he is take her to the men's room, so clearly we are not the intended target of this conversation.


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## ErinsJuneBug

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Oh, and talk about some awesome family bathrooms! We were in the Natick Mall, (excuse me, NATICK COLLECTION, GAG) a few months ago. IT was a normal shopping mall until they changed it up a few years ago with all high end stores and expensive luxury condos.

Anyhow, the bathrooms were AMAZING....beautiful fixtures, velvet couches, etc.

And they had these HUGE family bathrooms. With one big toilet and one little toilet. It was adorable









They also had nursing/mothers rooms independent of the bathrooms









No way! This is in Mass, right? Im not one for shopping at high end stores - but i might just walk the mall for a bathroom like that!


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## lightheart

We only have 2 boy's but I was a little girl we moved across country a few times and I _always_ had to ride with my mom, never could ride with my dad, although my brother had his choice on which vehicle he rode in.... wasn't until I was grown, out of the house and married that I thought to ask my mom WHY and she gave me an answer, when I was little it was just the way it was, I rode with mom, brother could choose, no questions asked... well duh, the 'reason' was that they did not feel comfortable with dad taking me to the bathrooms along the highway/interstate/rest areas. Simple. Had I of been old enough back then for them to explain and for me to understand I might have been a little less sullen riding in the car with my mom. In town and local I went lots of places just with my dad and I don't remember ever going to a men's room with him, might have, but probably not. I don't know how he handled the situation... maybe he waited until someone came out or asked a female to check to see if there was anyone in the bathroom, if it was empty he might of came in or stood at the door "warning" women that there was a "man" in their bathroom or a little girl in there alone and could they please until she came out before entering.

I have done the wait and ask (or watch) in a restaraunt until no guys were in the men's room so that my older son (age 5) who sometimes *insists* that he go in alone, be completly alone in the bathroom and I stand guard at the main door on the outside blocking anyone new going in, not that I have ever had to stop anyone from entering yet... don't know really what I would say if they needed to go in ... can you hold it for a minute until my son finishes, just in case you might harm him while you are alone with him in that room....







For now I'm comfortable with taking them into multi stall women's rooms with me, I do try and pick the large stall so both can stand with me and I usually have one hold my purse and the other to hold something that I just took out of my purse so that they don't touch doors and trashcans. If it is occupied, I will either wait or have them hold hands and "hold the door" closed for me. I dont know at what age I will feel truely comfortable with them going into a extremely public restroom like at a reststop or a service station.

I don't know... as a female I wouldn't find it weird at all to be asked by a man if the bathroom was empty as I was leaving or to ask what the bathroom set-up was/ single stall or multiple in the women's room so that he could stand guard and block anyone new from enetering while his daughter used the bathroom alone. We don't go very many places that have long long lines to the bathrooms so maybe in a situation like that where there are tons of people waiting to go, that would not work well.


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## harrietsmama

I never worried about it & neither did their dad.


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## angela&avery

my dd is 4 and my dh still takes her with him sometimes. We have never thought twice about it.


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## angela&avery

Quote:


Originally Posted by *waiflywaif* 
Guys don't just walk around waving their penises.

this made me chuckle


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## CTH3989

I don't have a daughter so I don't know how I would handle that. I'm interested to know how DH would handle that if they were out alone together.

When I was younger, maybe 5, I was spending a day out with my dad and he just covered my eyes when we went into the bathroom.


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## Heavenly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heket* 
Personally, it gives me the creeps when a guy stands outside the ladies restroom door and yells in. I would rather he just take the (I'm assuming in most instances) girl child to the men's room. Of course, there are some men doing this to communicate to a girlfriend, spouse, or other relation, child or adult. For an adult, why can't they just wait. For a child, I personally feel that in most cases about age 6 or older is ok for them to be alone in the restroom with a guardian/adult/caregiver of either sex waiting out front.

Well I'm glad that YOU would rather my husband take my daughter into a men's room because it creeps YOU out for my husband to wait outside the door for her. I'm not going to risk exposing my daughter to something I view as innapropriate for that reason, sorry.


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## Heavenly

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lyttlewon* 
DD is still potty learning and can't wipe herself sometimes or get her pants on/off. I think it is great you can do that in your family but DD needs bathroom assistance and needs someone in there with her. What does your DH do if she needs help?

Honestly? He would find a family bathroom or leave. He wouldn't take her into the men's room.


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## mamahart

No problems with kids in either restroom- though I'm likely to walk in the mens restroom if I really have to go and theres no bushes, so I'm sure you don't need any more info!!!


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## mamamelia

dh takes dd into the mens room if there is no parents room (you know, the fancy ones with the little kiddie toilet). he's never mentioned anything about covering eyes and such when he's had to resort to the men's.

when he is at home, the bathroom is a free for all.. no one can pee or crap in peace.. at all. he goes in to pee and there are two little girls staring at him like he is the most fascinating thing in the world. the girls also shower with dh or i at times so they've pretty much seen it all.. about a thousand times already.


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## mamamelia

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heket* 
Personally, it gives me the creeps when a guy stands outside the ladies restroom door and yells in. I would rather he just take the (I'm assuming in most instances) girl child to the men's room. Of course, there are some men doing this to communicate to a girlfriend, spouse, or other relation, child or adult. For an adult, why can't they just wait. For a child, I personally feel that in most cases about age 6 or older is ok for them to be alone in the restroom with a guardian/adult/caregiver of either sex waiting out front.

sorry but i have to disagree on this. no way in the world would i leave a 6yo child alone in a restroom (women's or not). with so many cases of children being abused, kidnapped and even killed in public restrooms... how can i take the risk? personally i would prefer dh to take dd to the men's room and be beside her 120% of the time rather than leave her alone in a women's restroom.

we also carry around a little potty in the back of our car. 80% of the time, dd actually goes in the potty, 15% of the time its in a parents restroom and 5% of the time in either a women's or men's (depends on urgency, who she is with and where we are). sometimes its just not feasible to go to the carpark and take her to the potty so its the public restroom at that moment, but overall we aim for the potty..









just an idea...


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## heket

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Well I'm glad that YOU would rather my husband take my daughter into a men's room because it creeps YOU out for my husband to wait outside the door for her. I'm not going to risk exposing my daughter to something I view as innapropriate for that reason, sorry.

You stated your discomfort at her seeing men penises. I stated my discomfort with men hanging around a ladies room door. I didn't say he HAD to start taking her in the men's room.


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## fairejour

I'm dying to know how a child could even get the chance to see a penis in the bathroom! Are these men having to stand way back from the urinal because they are so well endowed??? My hubby is plenty well covered between his hand and the urinal itself! Maybe I'm just missing out


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## waiflywaif

I absolutely agree. I wonder if the penis-peeking-worries have ever been in a men's room. Presumably the dad wouldn't take the little girl right up to the urinals, they'd both go into a stall and take turns doing their thing. The chances of a girl seeing anything at all are pretty darn small.


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## amcal

Does it really matter what a daughter's statistical chances of seeing a penis when going into the men's bathroom with her dad are?

If a dad is more comfortable covering his daughter's eyes as they walk through a men's bathroom, why is that not ok? Why make men feel like they're ridiculous or over reacting if their comfort level dictates that they cover their daughter's eyes?

We don't do this to mothers. There are a lot of very protective mother's on this board and I rarely see the "cyber eyerolling" and sarcastic responses when a mother talks about protecting her child from something that makes her uncomfortable.

Ultimately, I can not see what harm can come from a dad covering his daughter's eyes. Is it always necessary? Maybe not. But, if he's involved enough to be out with his children and to take one of them to the bathroom, the least of my concerns is whether or not he feels he needs to cover her eyes as they walk through a men's bathroom.


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