# Stillbirth and Engorgement



## mexicomommy (Oct 24, 2005)

I am hopping you ladies can help me. I had a stillbirth on Friday, I was 32 weeks along. I am now terribly engorged, it is so painfull. I am wearing a snug fitting bra and drinking sage tea and eating parsley. Any other advice will be much appriciated. There is so much other pain associated with this that anything to lessen the breast pain would be wonderful. We will bury our beautiful daughter today. I am glad to have found a place on these boards for this situation I find myself in.

Thank you for any help you can give!
Charlsie


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## mrsjordanjr (May 12, 2006)

Take some cloth diapers or kitchen size towels and wrap ice packs or icecubes in them and hold them on the sides where you feel the most pain. I even used to put them inside my bra where I needed the most relief. I usually go through severe pain for about 4 days or so.

P.S. I'm preggo with my 6th child and due in January, so I'll be going through it yet again!!! Argh!!!


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)

Charlsie, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Shirelle (May 22, 2006)

I'm so so sorry for your loss...I cannot even imagine the emotional pain that you must be in. For your engorgement, I would use cabbage leaves...put them in your bra until they dry, and then put in new ones. Also, you can hand express a little bit of milk to relieve the pressure. I wish you the best during this difficult time.


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## midwifetx (Mar 16, 2005)

I am so very sorry about your precious daughter.

Sage tea and parsley are very good. Today and tomorrow will probably be the hardest day as far as engorgement is concerned. Ice is helpful, as are cabbage leaves for drawing out the heat. Some women find anti-inflamitories helpful (Bromelain or Ibuprofen) in relieving the breast pain.


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## ombra*luna (May 1, 2003)

I'm sorry for the loss of your little one.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. After my daughter was stillborn I found that a hot shower helped some. It does stimulate letdown, but I don't think it made the engorgement last any longer. I just know I felt better when I got out (though a little sadder for having watched all of the milk leak away with no baby to feed it to). I also have some of those breast milk cooling packs that help alot. You refrigerate them and stick them in your bra. I think Lansinoh makes some you can get at some drugstores. If I remember correctly my milk came in on the third day and was gone by the 7th or so. I still had some milk, but no engorgement.







s I am just so sorry.


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## maxmama (May 5, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

If you have some of the giant maxi pads, wet them and put them in the freezer. They hold the cold a long time and don't leak as much as ice packs can.

try not to let the water run on your breasts in the shower, and wear a bra all the time to minimize stimulation.

Ibuprofen really does help a lot of women with the swelling.


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## rn (Jul 27, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss... I hope you are coping as well as you can.

what I did after my son died was juice the parsley. Kind of gross to drink, but it worked great. I would just chug it down really fast and I drank as much of it as i could everyday.

when I got painfully engorged I would just pump a tiny bit to relieve the pressure and thats all, trying to prevent my body from making more.

I also would use ice packs for the pain, it helped a bit.

I also made a pesto w/ a lot of parsley that I ate, but I wasent very hungry so I found juicing it was much better. If you want to recipe for the pesto just let me know I will be glad to give it to you.

again, I am so sorry, and remember you are not alone.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

I am so sorry that your baby is gone.







s

I chose to pump after my baby died. I only pumped until breast were soft. For me it helped me feel better (prolactin, I guess.) I only did this for about 2 weeks, & slowed down pumping as time went on. I hated feeling full of milk.


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I am sorry for your loss. I endured the same thing and the engorgement is very bittersweet...something following a natural course when everything else is all wrong. My midwife recommends (for any engorgement) putting castor oil on your breasts and chest (up into the armpit) and getting in a *hot* shower. She says the milk will just come right out. I didn't try this, I just expressed by hand when it was too painful to stand it anymore. In retrospect I wish I had donated my milk to a milk bank.

I am sorry for your loss, and I know how you feel.


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

i have heard all of the recommendations above. i don't have anything else to offer except to say that i am so sorry you have had such a painful loss.

when my milk came in, it gave me a physical pain to focus on. the emotional pain was so massive and all around me, so having that physical pain was a relief, almost, if that makes any sense. it lasted a few days and then was gone, and i felt that it was my body's lasting tribute to my daughter's existance. it was all hard to let go of. each post-partum experience that a woman goes through when she has lost her baby is so difficult. i hope that you have some good support, and can find the strength to ask for what you need. i am so sorry.


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## Len (Nov 19, 2001)

I agree with all of the posts here. I chewed on sage leaves and I also pumped and expressed some milk to relieve my breasts.

I also wanted to say I'm very sorry for the loss of your daughter. I noticed you are in Mexico, I'm from Mexico although don't live there anymore. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby...







:


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

My mom swears by camphorated oil rubbed on the breasts and then take a flat cloth diaper/pillow case or anything of strong cotton wrap and pin as tight as you can stand it for 24hrs. Its what they did 40yrs ago if you didnt want to breast feed or needed to wean quickly.

So sorry for your loss.


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## rn (Jul 27, 2003)

How are you doing Charlsie?


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## willow659 (Feb 26, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had some advise to add, but everything I'm aware of has already been posted.


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

I am sorry for your loss.

I just wanted to add one other option. Some mothers who lose babies choose to pump and donate their pumped milk to a breastmilk bank, so that the milk can be given to babies who need it. Even though you lost your child, you have the opportunity to give the gift of life to another baby.

It is especially helpful for mothers with early losses like yours to donate their milk because your milk is particularly adapted for premature babies, who are the most vulnerable.

You can find information about donating your milk hereEven if there is not a milk bank near you, you can mail milk to a milk bank far away. My local milk bank has donations from people from other countries -- the milk bank arranges for them to be shipped on dry ice.


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## mexicomommy (Oct 24, 2005)

Ladies,
Thank you so very much for all your advice. I ended up doing the cabbage leaf treatment and today I started two homeopathic treatments. They have helped considerably and I am finally feeling some relief.
I was so happy to find this forum. I am not happy for our shared loss but it is nice to see others who have gone through the same and can help each other out!
We burried our sweet girl Sunday. It was a beautiful, sweet funeral. We named her Charlsie Grace after myself and her great-grandmother. Just to let you all know what happened.....My husband and I live in Mexico. We are Americans but live with our family there. About three weeks ago I got very sick. We got blood work and urine and nothing showed up so our midwife decided it was just a virus. We blew it off till I started getting yellow in my eyes and started itching like crazy. I finally decided that I probably had Cholestasis of Pregnancy. We quickly decided to fly me to Texas, get me tested, and go from there. I flew out the next day, got a dr. appointment and they could find no heart beat. I had to go through labor which thankfully was only an hour. I was 32 weeks along so they expected it to take 12 hours. God was merciful to me in letting it be so short. I barely even had to push.
The Dr. told me that blood tests came back and that I got Hepititis A. That is what happened to the baby, my liver did not function properly so could not help her liver function either. It was a relief to have an answer.
She was about 30 weeks when she passed away and 18 in. long. She was really perfect.
I miss her so much. I just want to hold her one more time!
Thank you again for your advice. I appologize for this being so long!!!!
Thank you, Charlsie


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## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

dont apologize!!
Thank you for sharing your sweet daughter with us. I am jsut about 1 month post the stillbirth of my son. I have found that writing helps alot. either online,in journals or even napkins. it is amazing what comes out when i clear my head., SO posting long online posts is something i do often. kind of a thinking out loud, trying to figure out "did this really happen" living in a fog type of thing
I am thinking of you and your family.
HUGS mama


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I'm sorry to here about your baby girl. I was engorged, too and like someone else said, it gave me something physical to focus on instead of my lost little girl. Physical pain subsides, but the emotional hurts forever it seems. All I did was wear a tight fitting bra and the engorgement was gone after a few days..I wish you the best of luck and I will be praying for you


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## starparticle (Jun 30, 2005)

Being engorged was the hardest part for me. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I'll be thinking of your family today.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *iris0110*
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. After my daughter was stillborn I found that a hot shower helped some. It does stimulate letdown, but I don't think it made the engorgement last any longer. I just know I felt better when I got out (though a little sadder for having watched all of the milk leak away with no baby to feed it to)..

This is exactly what I did after I had Reagan. The bereavement nurse told me not to let the water hit my breasts but I did anyway. I continued to produce milk out of one side until I got pg w/Grace so while it wasn't engorgement the entire time it took a long time for my milk to dry up.

I know it's a painful reminder.







I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious dd.







Charlsie Grace


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## isaiahsmommy05 (Jul 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Debstmomy*
I am so sorry that your baby is gone.







s

I chose to pump after my baby died. I only pumped until breast were soft. For me it helped me feel better (prolactin, I guess.) I only did this for about 2 weeks, & slowed down pumping as time went on. I hated feeling full of milk.

That is what I did after Isaiah died.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl.


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## Plady (Nov 20, 2001)

I'm so sorry for your loss. There are no other words to contain the pain you must be in now. I'm in Mexico too if you ever need a moderately local expat to talk to feel free to email or PM me.


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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

I'm sorry for the misplaced post.
Hope you are well and continuing to heal after your loss.


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

I'm glad you've found some engorgement relief.
I'm sorry for your loss.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

Charlsie,

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. The engorgement is just emblematic of the pain of stillbirth - you're desperate for a baby to mother but there's no baby.
We're with you


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shirelle* 
I'm so so sorry for your loss...I cannot even imagine the emotional pain that you must be in. For your engorgement, I would use cabbage leaves...put them in your bra until they dry, and then put in new ones. Also, you can hand express a little bit of milk to relieve the pressure. I wish you the best during this difficult time.


I used cabbage leaves as well, it really does help.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss


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## mexicomommy (Oct 24, 2005)

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it has actually been over a year ago that we lost our sweet little girl and our healing is going well. We are expecting a new baby in about 3 weeks and are very excited about it! I don't know what emotions will come with this new little one but I do know that the loss we have experienced will never totally go away.
Hugs to you all,
Charlsie


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## sewinmama (May 3, 2004)

First, I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. We lost our sweet Chloe at 31 weeks in June. Huge hugs during this horrible time.

I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I used cabbage leaves in the bra. I also pumped a little when in pain, I didn't want mastitis on top of everything. It may take a little longer to dry up if you pump, but it takes the pain of the engorgement away. When I would cry, so did my breasts. I think they were sad too.

Anyway, just know that you are in my heart and prayers.


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## sewinmama (May 3, 2004)

Oops, I guess I should have read the whole thread first.

Huge hugs to you and congratulations on the new baby!

Sending Huge hugs and prayers for a healthy delivery.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mexicomommy* 
Thank you all so much for your kind words, it has actually been over a year ago that we lost our sweet little girl and our healing is going well. We are expecting a new baby in about 3 weeks and are very excited about it! I don't know what emotions will come with this new little one but I do know that the loss we have experienced will never totally go away.
Hugs to you all,
Charlsie

Wow! Congratulations, mama.







I pray for a safe and healthy little one earthside soon!


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## koalove (Apr 18, 2007)

so sorry for your loss. :-( take a benadryl. it will dry it right up.


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## KYCat (May 19, 2004)

Congratulations Charlsie!!!!
Our beautiful boy died7/05 and 09/06 we greeted his little brother. The pregnancy was rough, but holding your new baby is just amazing and after such a deep loss, you just appreciate all of it. I'm so very happy for you.


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