# little boys with long hair and a rant



## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

my ds has long hair, its a little past his shoulders. he is 4 and he loves it, he tells me its his body and his hair and he likes it wrong so i wouldn't dream of making him cut it. however its a little annoying that people call him "her" all the time! even though he is dressed like a boy and has boyish features? also my mother in law will comment on all of my facebook photos with "he needs a haircut" like you can't message me? you have to publicly state it, how tacky.

i don't know, i love his long hair i think he would look weird without it and i don't even feel like its a rare sight these days! he looks like a little surfer almost! here is a picture of it from the side

200354_10150127289948598_574203597_6704856_5761041_n.jpg

does anyone else have a son with long hair, how do you deal with annoying comments? he's happy, and i'm proud and think he looks so handsome. but its still annoying sometimes!

i hope i'm in the right section, i still get confused!


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

My youngest has short hair now, but until last summer (at almost 5), he had gorgeous, butt long hair (I might have cried a leetle when he got it cut







). Anyhow, I never got annoyed when people assumed he was a girl - there's nothing wrong with being a girl, and girls are more likely to have long hair in our culture, so I think it was a reasonable assumption. It doesn't help that his name is Aidan, which is increasingly being used as a female name. My son never cared, and I never once heard him correct anyone. I didn't usually either, unless it was someone who we were likely to have contact with again - I just used the male pronoun when I spoke about him - people either picked up on it (and fell all over themselves apologizing for it, which I found weird and awkward to respond to) or they didn't - no big deal either way. For the "he needs a haircut crowd," I had a number of responses. We just ignored it from dh's 80 yo grandma. Most of the time I would say something like "No he doesn't" or "Why would he need a hair cut?" I had to flat out tell MIL that I wasn't interested in her opinion on his hair, but if she felt the need to comment negatively, she dang well better not do it when he's around.

Here was my guy. I think he was 3 in these pictures


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## Contrariety (Jul 16, 2007)

I've always just corrected them and said "nope, just a boy with hair!"

I don't ever get too hung up on it.


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## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

your boy is so handsome!!!

you're right there isn't anything wrong with being a girl, or boys playing with girl toys and vice versa might i add but thats another topic heh. i usually just use the him and his as well in response casually, but our parents comments are getting old sheesh!


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *naturallymommy*
> 
> my ds has long hair, its a little past his shoulders. he is 4 and he loves it, he tells me its his body and his hair and he likes it wrong so i wouldn't dream of making him cut it. however its a little annoying that people call him "her" all the time! even though he is dressed like a boy and has boyish features?


And what if you had a girl who liked boyish type clothes and longish hair? Would you be offended if people called her a him? Really, you can't tell from features at this age. Clothing can be variable too. It's a little awkward to call a child 'it', so people have to make their best guess. They're gonna be wrong if you're running counter to cultural tradition. If it's an honest mistake, be kind. For your MIL, I have no help.


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## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LynnS6*
> 
> And what if you had a girl who liked boyish type clothes and longish hair? Would you be offended if people called her a him? Really, you can't tell from features at this age. Clothing can be variable too. It's a little awkward to call a child 'it', so people have to make their best guess. They're gonna be wrong if you're running counter to cultural tradition. If it's an honest mistake, be kind. For your MIL, I have no help.


its not that i'm offended more so just hate correcting, and yes i'd feel the same if it were a girl dressing like a boy. i'm completely fine with the kids being themselves, personally. i am kind, i was just ranting after a long day on here is all. sorry if anyone misunderstood what i meant.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

My 5yo DS not only has shoulder length blonde curls but he also has very delicate facial features, which means he is ALWAYS referred to as a girl. He has been dressed in all blue and black, riding a blue mountain bike, with a blue skull/crossbone skull cap on (hair tucked into it!) and had at least a dozen people at one event refer to him as a she!! Sometimes we correct people, sometimes we don't. He loves his hair and doesn't want anyone to touch it. Since my husband has hair half way down his back we totally support his choice and I think he looks freaking adorable with all his blonde curls! His bio dad tries to get him to cut it on occasion but we don't get bothered much about it otherwise. What we DO get bothered about is the fact that 5 out of 7 days a week he is wearing something, if not everything, bright pink.  I'll have to post pics tomorrow.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

My little man...His hair is a little longer than the bottom picture and when it's wet it comes down his back.


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## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SoulJourney*
> 
> My little man...His hair is a little longer than the bottom picture and when it's wet it comes down his back.


oh wow he is so beautiful!! i guess i need to realize its very common to get sexes mixed up when it comes to children. i love his eyes!


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## elevena true (Jan 12, 2011)

i know this didn't start out as a gender issue necessarily, but i would like to add some thoughts.

i have two daughters that have had long hair and dressed quite adrogynously. i am truly not a fan of pink, but also do not negate it to being a "girl" color. our culture does that. the girls have quite an array of things to wear, and though they mostly pick out all of their own things at this point, when they were younger (and still true in the case of my youngest), the majority of things they wore were gender-neutral.

about 70 percent of the time, someone would guess that they were boys because they were not wearing pink. i learned a lot about gender in our culture from the way that random person on the bus would talk to my little ones in one situation, thinking they were boys, and on another day, thinking they were girls. sometimes there would even be the girl/boy mistake. it is really eye opening. i mean, really, if dd happened to be wearing a dress, stranger's comment would be :

'aren't you a pretty little girl, blah blah," whereas if she was wearing blue and green and had her ball with her, the comment would be, "i bet you're a great ball player, huh little tiger? you helping out your mommy today, going to carry some of those groceries?"

i appreciated the diversity in the way they were treated. really, the gender types make me ill, and in my experience the quality of comments for a little boy were a littler smarter, not at all focused on looks or princess talk, and actually had some gravity to them. a little girl or little boy could be implored to help their mother with the groceries, or complemented on talents, or something in that arena. in my experience, those comments were given to my "little boys" 90 % of the time, while my "little girls" got comments about their appearance 90 % of the time. i realize that gender types hurt everyone, boys and girls alike.

i always felt thankful when someone mistook our gender.....and not because i wished i had little boys. i am pretty darn thankful for the creatures that came to me.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *elevena true*
> 
> i know this didn't start out as a gender issue necessarily, but i would like to add some thoughts.
> 
> ...


This is absolutely true, 100%, and I noticed it with my son, too. When people assumed he was a girl, at the park for example, they'd be more likely to run over if they saw him fall down or offer him help when he was struggling to climb something or try to "rescue" him from the equipment. If they thought he was a boy and saw him fall, they might say something like "That looks like it hurt! Well, get up and try it again!" If he was struggling to climb something, they'd be more likely to offer words of encouragement. If they thought he was a girl, they'd comment on how "pretty" he was. If thy thought he was a boy, they'd comment about something he was actually doing. It was very. . .frustrating. Having had both a boy and a girl before him who basically conformed to our society's gender norms, I had noticed the difference between how people treat them. But seeing it in the same child was sort of mind blowing, really. Often you would see it in the same people within minutes. They'd start out thinking he was a girl treating him one way, then realize he was a boy and completely change it up.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

The gender stuff is pretty interesting. My DS is beautiful, and as a younger baby he looked very much like a girl b/c he was just SO pretty. We were in Target once and a little boy said to his mom, "That baby boy is really cute!" and his mom replied, "No sweetie, that is a very cute baby girl!". He wasn't wearing pink, but it was summer so he was just in a plain onsie and nothing else. It was really funny.

Now, if he had long hair he would still look like a girl cause he's still just so pretty, but his dad likes keeping his hair short and gets it cut occasionally, so he looks more like a boy. He's also very active so he generally has bruises either on his head, knees, shins, or all of the above all at once. It's pretty amusing.


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## lovelylisa (Jan 23, 2009)

I refuse to cut my son's hair  I want it to grow long and glorious (much like all of your son's hair, they are so adorable!). In fact, I imagine one day he's going to be doing head and shoulders commercials like the Steelers player, Troy Polamalu. I have such hopes and dreams for his hair, as it is the hair I have always dreamed of having, lol

He does get mistaken for a girl all the time, especially because he has my husbands super long eyelashes and my "girlish" features. and like a PP said, it's sometimes by the same person. It's quite an interesting thing to watch. I usually just laugh off the comments because he doesn't wear a sign that says "I'm a BOY." And it makes me giggle when people says how "pretty she is" because that's the first thing I said when I saw him. (well I said, "aren't you the prettiest little thing ever" I knew he was a boy, haha)

But, it does drive me up a wall when my mother proceeds to tell me to cut his hair. So, OP I know what you mean! I don't have any advice for you but to tell them to knock it off.


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## lookatreestar (Apr 14, 2008)

LOL, that hair commercial!!

my ds has long hair and gets called a girl all the time (he is still baby faced, and beautiful imo- just under 2 years). its even worse when i put it back in a pony tail. luckily i don't have to correct people. dd does that for me "ummmmmm he's my brother!!" or "no he's a boy!!"

it really doesn't bother me, even the hair cut comments i just ignore. people like to have something to say. period. even if its something stupid or doesn't matter one lick to them.


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## ians_mommy (Apr 5, 2008)

My son has hair way past his shoulders and my daughter is bald (and often dressed in brother's hand-me-downs). People frequently get them mixed up. I usuallu just say, "No, the big one is my son and this peanut here is my little girl".


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## NannyMcPhee (Nov 24, 2010)

My boy has had long hair on and off his whole life. We cut it the first time when he said he wanted it cut. Right now he has a overgrown mohawk and people call him a girl all the time. He usually corrects people himself himself these days. We also have conversations about how its not bad to look like a ''girl'' - with him and family members or friends that say something.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

Naturallymommy, thanks! I should find a better pic of his eyes...I will admit they are amazing! ;o) The rest of you have some pretty amazing little kiddos too! Beautiful!


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

My almost-6 year old has really long hair and my almost-4 year old's curly hair is about shoulder length. I do get lots of people calling them girls. My oldest corrects them and says "I'm actually a boy; I just have long hair." and we leave it at that.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Both of my boys currently have short hair, but in the past they've had long hair. My youngest requested a haircut when he was 3 1/2 and now 18 months later, people still come up to me and say "I thought you had a boy and a girl, not two boys?" Even my oldest was constantly called a girl when he was a baby (before he had any hair) because he was "too pretty to be a boy", no matter what he was wearing.

I taught my boys that long hair doesn't mean anything other than long hair. They weren't shy at all about correcting people who called them girls. The constant "when are you ever going to cut that hair?" annoyed me though.


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## zoebugsmom (Jan 19, 2004)

My boys have short hair now- the 5 yo prefers it that way & the 2 yo would fight washing/brushing- but had long hair for ages. I just got good at ignoring comments and didn't bother correcting strangers who told me how cute my girls were. Once DS1 was old enough he'd correct them himself- "I'm NOT a girl!- and that was fine. I did come close to punching my sister the day she told my daughter she'd give her $20 if she cut her brother's hair but she a UAV any way. Just practice saying "it's his hair, we'll cut it when he wants to cut it."


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

My son doesn't have long hair but I do see a big difference in how local boys are presented. Some of them clearly have hair cuts that flatter their hair texture and face. They rarely get gendered comments. It is clearly a style choice.

And then some of the boys really have no hair cuts at all with weird long bits or short bits here in there. There doesn't seem to be a hair cut involved and sometimes they look plain uncomfortable with random pony tails made from uncombed hair or clips or whatever. Uncombed mullet + random bun on top of the head is just...odd. Some of it most be cultural because I don't think anyone says would say "oh, that is an attractive look" for a two year old. I guess certain groups don't cut hair before a certain age?


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

As for the comments of facebook, just either say nothing, or say "It's his hair, and he loves it like this".

I think some people assume you just didn't notice he needs a haircut and they are pointing it out. I had a daycare boy who had a mullet for a long time, it was too thick too long, and too hot. HE HATED it.. he would try to cut it all the time. (that's how he ended up with the mullet) I was mad that his parents chose his hair style against his wishes. They let him cut it before kindergarten, and said "Shave it". LOL But, he didn't want it shaved either. He wanted it short, with it sticking up with gel in the front. But, Dad had it shaved.

So, anyway, I told his mom all the time... "Cut the boy's hair... it's a freaking MULLET" (she's my best friend, so I said it in a bff way)

I think maybe your mother in law just figures you think it looks good, when clearly, it's girl hair... and it's not how he wants it... it's how you want it. So, tell her it's HIS choice.


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## tjlucca (Jun 16, 2008)

When my DD had a pixie she got called "sport", "Buddy" and "little guy" all the time. I would simply say "Her name is Ani" and leave it at that. It was my way of correcting them without being a jerk..


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## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

Thanks for all your replies, it made me realize it was really common!


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## VocalMinority (Apr 8, 2009)

My youngest is 3 and, as long as it's humid, he has angelic, soft ringlets from about the top of his ears, down. I just can't stand to cut it! This past winter, when the humidity tapered off and his hair was straighter, it was pretty long. I told my husband when it warmed up and I could get one more REALLY good photo of his curls, I'd be ready to let him get his first haircut. But, of course, when it got warmer and the ringlets came back...I can't cut it!

To make matters worse (I guess), he has a very pretty face and beautiful eyes. So, even in his "I get my handsome from my Daddy" T-shirt (or wearing blue trucks...) people tell me what a beautiful daughter I have. Really? Who cares? He'll only be little once! And anyone who knows him knows he is all boy and nothing, if not confident. I just don't see him getting insecure, if he realizes people think he's a girl. He's more likely to call them an idiot (the influence of 3 older brothers) than to have hurt feelings.

My friend has two boys, just a couple years apart. The younger one is just...cool. Even at 3, he seemed cool. His older brother has a traditional haircut, but the younger one likes his hair long. His Mom lets him have his way - and he just looks great!

More extreme: there's a kid at our church whose gender my husband and I just can't figure out. He/she is maybe 10-12 and has waist-length hair, kind of wild and wavy, like boys with long hair (instead of sleek and perfectly-groomed like some long-haired girls). He/she never wears anything you wouldn't see on a boy. But he/she has a really pretty face. So...either a very cute and also very sporty girl, or a really good-looking boy who's comfortable enough with himself to wear long hair. Win-win! You just can't find it offensive, either way!


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## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

you're right jeannine, thank you!


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## spaceface (Apr 23, 2011)

a really gruff, but sweet old man with a moustache and a twinkle in his eye said to my short-haired five year old daughter yesterday "hey big guy!' as he walked past us. she was wearing a blue striped shirt (with pink, red, white and green stripes) a black, 'feminine' hoodie, grey and blue plaid 'feminine' pants, and purple shoes. without observing closely, judging from the colours alone, i can see how her whole image would have presented as male. we laughed our butts off because of the charming way he said it..

however, when my son was young he had long hair too for a few years and was frequently called a girl.. and yes, i have noticed, with both my kids, that the way people treat the same child dependent on what gender they are assumed to be, the most unnerving of all. i actually PREFER the way my daughter is treated when she's assumed to be a boy overall (an imparting of and encouraging of confidence as opposed to focus on prettiness or other 'girly' traits), with the exception of how boys or assumed-boys are discouraged from showing their emotions.

i cannot stand gender roles in the least and comments like these can be annoying IF there is a rigid adherence to gender-role expectations.. my daughter has had her hair cut short three or four times in her life and sometimes has long hair too. she has a very balanced personality with many traditionally 'male' mannerisms and just as many 'feminine' ones. people often react to her short hair with as though it offends their sensibilities.. but rubbing up against someones biases doesn't bother me as long as they are not rude to my children or make them feel that they are wrong to be who they are regardless of what gender based non/sterotypical preferences they may have.


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## les_oiseau (Apr 9, 2010)

yes! I wish this statement could be copied and pasted on every newspapers front page in the country! It would be so great if we could stop playing out the gender roles

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *elevena true*
> 
> i appreciated the diversity in the way they were treated. really, the gender types make me ill, and in my experience the quality of comments for a little boy were a littler smarter, not at all focused on looks or princess talk, and actually had some gravity to them. a little girl or little boy could be implored to help their mother with the groceries, or complemented on talents, or something in that arena. in my experience, those comments were given to my "little boys" 90 % of the time, while my "little girls" got comments about their appearance 90 % of the time. i realize that gender types hurt everyone, boys and girls alike.


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

Then it really messes people up...a boy with long hair and a girl wearing trucks.


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## treqi (Dec 31, 2006)

SoulJourney- I love that even in a pink ballet outfit your son is just so clearly a boy, its so cute and NaturallyMommy your son totally has the surfer look going i would not worry one bit especially if he loves it.


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## sailorscout (Feb 20, 2010)

aw thanks! sometimes he looks like he belongs in like longbeach california in the early 80s. heh.


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## ~Amy~ (Jun 7, 2009)

Here's my long haired little guy. He just turned 3 last week. He's never had a hair cut, but I think we're going to get it trimmed sometime soon. The ends are really tangly, but we're not really going to take any length off. He loves his hair.

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k181/chemistrychick/b1d95115.jpg


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

My son had long hair up until 2 months ago. We finally had to cut it because he having recurring eye irritations that were getting worse because his hands were always up there brushing his hair out of his eyes. He now has a shaggy, shorter cut.

He was always being mistaken for a girl but it didn't bother him. The funny thing is, all the kids his age knew he was a boy. The adults always got it wrong.









Anyway, this was his hair at it's longest length:

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx22/Smylez13/IMG_0005.jpg


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

My longhaired son occasionally gets indignant when he's referred to as a girl. It's nothing to do with gender assumptions and everything to do with the fact that he is really a dinosaur/steam engine/racecar.









When rude people ask me what "his father" thinks, I typically show them a picture of DH.


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## dreamymommy (Apr 21, 2011)

My son has always had the same thing happen to him. He has had long hair all of his life and he is now 13 going on 14. We have never cared because he likes it and is in fact a surfer dude. Besides, being called a girl is nothing bad really, there is nothing wrong with being a girl. You can see him here http://www.mothering.com/community/gallery/album/view/id/8214/user_id/171845


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## mumm (May 23, 2004)

As mom of kids who have never gone against society's gender standards I feel awkward when I don't know if a kid is male or female. I KNOW it shouldn't matter and it really doesn't but we don't have gender neutral pronouns so my language is all convoluted in order to avoid any pronoun use. Imagine being at the public sandbox and needing to say "Perhaps that child doesn't want you to play with the structure that child is creating." vs "She doesn't want you to destroy her castle."

And no child under about 10/11 years has, imo, masculine or feminine features.


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ians_mommy*
> 
> My son has hair way past his shoulders and my daughter is bald (and often dressed in brother's hand-me-downs). People frequently get them mixed up. I usuallu just say, "No, the big one is my son and this peanut here is my little girl".


LOVE the onesies! I spotted those before I even looked at your adorable kids...sorry









As far as gender typical or whatever, DH has hair that is way past his shoulders, DD is almost 2 and has short curly hair, I dress her in blue ALL the time. She looks cute in it and it's my favorite color. She gets called a boy a lot. I laugh when it happens, primarily because people get so uncomfortable like they have made a major faux paus. It's not a big deal. She can look like a boy at times.

If we had a son I would be letting his hair grow and grow and grow. We aren't big on haircuts in this family. I'm sure I'd get questions about it all the time but it's just hair, there is way to much emphasis on this kind of thing and I have better things to do than worry about what gender strangers might refer to my kid(s) as.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Seems like most of you have younger kids - the older boys around here are growing their hair longer .. think 70's cuts - some bowl cuts, lots of longer shaggy stuff, etc. My ds is growing his hair out now for the first time in years - many of them are going for that 80's surfer look that NaturallyMommy's little boy is wearing so well!

As a baby/toddler he would get confused for a girl if I did the slightest thing, like put him in saltwater sandals. I thought it was funny/cute and really didn't care. He's got huge beautiful eyes and long eye lashes and yes, he's pretty.


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jocelyndale*
> 
> When rude people ask me what "his father" thinks, I typically show them a picture of DH.










That is great!!

My middle son is almost 8 yo and has been growing his hair out for a year now (he wants to look like a rock star). He used to have a mohawk, but now wants it long. I admit I am worried about how he will feel if people start to mistake him for a girl. He has always been very pretty. My OB actually said, within moments of his birth, "wow, he is all boy, but he sure is pretty!" He has "delicate" features and long long lashes. It turns out his hair has a bit of curl to it now that's it's longer. He loves his hair long. His piano teacher is a man with hair down to the middle of his back, and that is kind of his goal (piano teacher is quite flattered). My dh has a hard time with it, he is very traditional (he hated the mohawk too. he thinks all boys should have military crew cuts). The lady who cuts my boys hair is a friend of mine and knows my boys were all bald til 2 and based on family history will be bald again by the time they are 20. So she says, "You tell your dh that these boys have a very small window to play with and to leave them alone". To his credit, dh is keeping his opinions to himself as he realizes that allowing them some independence is crucial. I am working on my own conservative/gender issues as well so that I can allow my boys to just be who they are.

As far as your mother-in-law goes, I would reply to her comment on facebook with something like "well we can't all be conformist". but that's just me and might not be worth any fall out.


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## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

I have two little boys with longer hair. My eldest was also called a girl many times because he was "too pretty to be a boy."







His hair wasn't cut till he was 18mo and it was wispy and a little wavy at the ends. But his younger brothers got progressively curlier, and I just have NOT been able to cut off their curls.









My 6yo has now had a number of trims (and is due for another), though only one somewhere other than at home, and the first one wasn't until he was 3? 4? The 3yo had his first trim of any sort this past December, when I cleaned up some of the less healthy, thin ends of his curls. Oh, and then he cut off the curl on his forehead.





















Some people then suggested that it was time for a haircut to even it up... Umm.. NO! I was heartbroken and crying over ONE curl - I can't lose them all! His curls are really tight, finger curls (especially with humidity!) so his hair is much longer than it looks.

The 6yo gets called a girl from both kids and adults with some frequency. I think it bothers him some (he's super shy and also super black-and-white in his view of things) but he doesn't want his hair short. I need to trim it, and he's agreed that I can do it at home, but he wants just the tiniest bit cut off - like a millimeter, he sometimes says.









Here are all the kiddos at Easter:


This was before J cut off his curl (which now is bangs), but it was pretty long so it was swept to the side.


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## sissah (Mar 21, 2011)

My sister went to pick her son up from daycare, and the woman, who had been long complaining about the length of his hair had cut it.I couldn't believe someone would do that!


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## lovelylisa (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sissah*
> 
> My sister went to pick her son up from daycare, and the woman, who had been long complaining about the length of his hair had cut it.I couldn't believe someone would do that!


She did WHAT??? That's is highly unacceptable....what happened???


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## sissah (Mar 21, 2011)

Yup - she cut his hair after complaining about it for a while. My sister doesn't like to make waves and didn't say anything, then called me furious to complain. But she didn't really say anything to the woman, so I imagine she'll get another complimentary cut here after it's grown back in again.


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## rhianna813 (Apr 3, 2009)

We never cut our son's hair until recently. It is super fine, thick, and very ringlet-y. Gorgeous! But very hard to care for and I was the only one who could manage to wash it and comb it out. Everyone wanted to keep it long, but no one wanted to take care of, including DS.

DS decided it was time to cut if and we decided together to do right before he started 1st grade. So he would not confuse people with a huge change in appearance part way through the year.

What I found very interesting is that DS did not identify himself as having or liking long hair that much. When I showed him photos of boys with long, medium and short hairstyles he only liked the super short ones. Very clean cut, not very spikey or messy. He is very happy with his short hair that is all I care about.

Sure everyone else (wow that hair had a fan base) mourns the loss of the Locks LOL

But to comment on the gender thing&#8230;. 99% of people would think he was a girl. No matter what he wore, acted or his name. We just corrected if we cared to and let it slide with strangers. We live in a liberal town so no one was weird or mean about it.

Rhianna


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## wildmonkeys (Oct 4, 2004)

My youngest (4) has longish hair - not really long because it is curly and he doesn't like me brushing through knots so I keep it above his shoulders. Had a funny thing though at a play area where somebody several years older pushed him down and he was crying and the grandpa (I think) scolded the older boy about pushing a girl...like it would have been fine to knock him down if they had known he was a boy. The funny part was that ds through his tears kept telling the man - I an not a girl...


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## melissa17s (Aug 3, 2004)

My ds (10) decided to grow his hair long after grandma hassled him about getting it cut last summer. It is very curly, but when wet goes beyond his shoulders. He had the longest hair of the 4th grade boys, and he liked it. Tells me he wants to keep growing it. He also is very sensitive to getting it brushed, which is hard because it is so curly. In the past, we have had both his and his sister's hair cut short to help with the snaggles, but both want it longer now.

When ds was a baby, toddler, and child even with short hair in boys cloths, people would call him "her". He is very pretty. I have had people ask me, if I was sure he was a boy. I had an older lady correct me with "her/she" when I have told them he was a boy. We do not make a big deal about gender, but anatomically, he is a boy. He also fits many gender stereotypes; just not the pretty face and hair, so I am surprised when people confuse him.


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## Kidsdad (Jul 24, 2011)

Great looking kid! Looks like he takes good care of his hair which keeps the length from being an issue. How's his school teachers' reaction?


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## jeslynn (Jul 23, 2010)

My son had long hair until about a month ago. He loved his hair but the heat was too much for him this year and he asked to cut it. I was a bit reluctant knowing how much he loved it, but he's already talking of growing it out again!

However, I know exactly what you mean. EVERYONE would comment on it and think I was the one keeping it long. Uh, my son has a mind of his own. So obnoxious. I guess not everyone let's their kids think for themselves!


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## jeanette423 (Sep 10, 2012)

Thats gotta be a girl my son has long hair as well but certainly doesn't dress in pink girly clothes


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## PrincePJ (Sep 8, 2012)

I love long hair on little boys. Petey takes after Daddy and has curly hair. His hair is just above his shoulder, but considerably longer when wet. His hair is pretty unruly too. He has a little side-fringe, it's so cute! I know i'm biased, being his mom and all, but he's so handsome! He loves his hair too.

I'm amazed by the amount of people who call him a girl! We don't like stereotypes. Our son wears pinks and purples, and paints his nails. I've had many people say "Oh she's beautiful". And say "Oh Petey, does it stand for Petuna maybe?"... I too have noticed that people tend to help him more in the park etc. when they think he's a girl. But when he's wearing more boyish clothing other parents will say he's a brave boy, try again and all that. And in the toys r us last week buying typical boys toys the girl at the til said to Petey "Are these for your brother sweetie". He said no, him of course. And I don't think she even realized he was a boy and not a girl. I didn't point it out either. We just brush off the girl comments.


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## Hippie Mama in MI (Jan 15, 2008)

My son is 6, and has gorgeous blond hair to the middle of his back. LOTS of people think he is a girl. Once, at a city wide garage sale, he was dressed in a camouflage suit, a paintball helmet and mask, and was carrying a large Incredible Hulk, two swords and a plastic machine gun. He was running across the common, waving his weaponry and screaming RAAAAA. And I swear to God, a man laughed and said, "She's quite a little tomboy!"

Mostly adults are sweetly clueless about long haired boys (my favorite are elderly ladies who exclaim over how beautiful my "daughter" is). They're harmless. But on the playground, other kids can be hurtful even when they don't mean to. DS gets asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" daily. We finally hit on a response that doesn't hurt feelings and still gets the :light" to come on in other people's heads.

When the kids say, "Are you a boy or a girl?" DS says, "I'm a boy. Are YOU a boy or a girl?"


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## LaughingHyena (May 4, 2004)

People do assume DS is a girl, he didn't used to mind (or possibly he didn't used to notice) but it's becoming a problem at the moment. How do you all explain it to your boys?

It doesn't help that DS is being assessed for special needs and will not correct people or tell them he is upset.

At school I've asked for a note to be made in the register, after a letter home last year from a supply teacher about how A hurt HERSELF at playtime. Both years the toilets have been a problem as other little boys have said he's using the wrong ones. Arghhh

On the other hand I've taken DD out in one of her few pink frilly dresses, with hairclips etc and been asked how old HE is:lol


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## mr24age (Nov 14, 2012)

I just love the hair..really cool.

I only wish that I was allowed to have hair like that when I was his age. Unfortunately that was not the case as my parents were very old fashioned and as such I was forced to keep my hair short.

I would have loved to have hair like that at his age. your son is a credit to your attitude and I only wish that my parents were like you. full marks all round here.

does you son still sport his long hair now?


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## mr24age (Nov 14, 2012)

A very cute boy...I wish my mother was as understanding as you seem to have been...i would have loved hair like that when i was a kid.....Your boy is very lucky to have understanding parents


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## momofkids3to18 (Feb 2, 2013)

Tell me why the public day "she" is such a pretty young lady??


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## momofkids3to18 (Feb 2, 2013)

Is it really that difficult to notice he's a cute long haired boy?


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