# Diagnosed miscarriage, took misoprostol, now wondering if it was a mistake



## skysmom2016 (Jul 1, 2016)

I am an emotional wreck right now having miscarried three days ago on June 28th. I took misoprostol after being diagnosed with a miscarriage, and now I am wondering if it could have been wrong. Not like that changes anything, my baby is dead now either way. I want to tell my story, please help me figure out if there could have been a possibility that my baby was alive, or if this is just a normal part of the grieving process ---- the denial and guilt part. 

June 28th I went in for what I calculated as 10w4d based on my last period. My periods tend to be regular, but you know there's always odd months. At the very least, I could have been 9w1d pregnant and that's assuming my pregnancy test was positive 8 days after sex. I got positive test on May 17th, we only had sex on the 1st and 8th of May over the last several months and haven't since. So my range of dates could be 9w1d-10w4d+.

I had a transvaginal and abdominal ultrasound done and the fetus measured 6w1d and 6w3d based on the pictures printed out for me. There was no heartbeat. She said things didn't look good, and sent me down the hall to see the perinatologist and get another scan about an hour later. Second set of scans (vaginal and abdominal) with a different tech also showed a 6 week old fetus with no heartbeat. There was also no blood flow inside the sac, but around it was a ring of red/blue when they turned on the doppler. I'm not sure what that means, but the perinatologist said something about the sac and how that indicates a failed pregnancy.

I went home, took misoprostol, and miscarried that night. I cannot shake the feeling that what if the baby was just measuring 3 weeks behind and we couldn't see a heartbeat, but it was normal? I had no bleeding or cramping, but my symptoms had all disappeared.

I don't know where to go from here. Obviously, 3 weeks behind is a stretch when measured transvaginally and I should have seen a heartbeat at 9w1d no matter what. The baby didn't look anything like my other two pregnancies at 9 weeks that went on to be babies. 

I read stories about people measuring behind, but then they go on to discover the baby was fine afterall. Is that usually because their dates are off, or are some babies just slower to develop? Because they saw the baby, I know my dates (sex may 1 and 8 only, bfp may 17).... it measured 6 weeks and at the very least I was 9 weeks and that's being generous with my dates. In the stories that I read, the doctors send them for a second scan a week later. My doctors seemed so sure of the miscarriage and didn't try and schedule one a week out, but got me in right away. 

Is it possible to be 9 weeks pregnant, see the fetus, not see a heartbeat, and have a viable pregnancy? I am scared I aborted a healthy baby. But this would be classic guilt and denial... right? :-/


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Development is pretty uniform in the first 12 weeks. That is why dating scans are most accurate early on and become less accurate in the second and third trimesters. While there is a range of normal size at that age, a variation of 3-4 weeks is well outside the normal range. First trimester ultrasound is usually accurate to within 3-5 days. The fact that you had a repeat scan with a different operator and got the same results only increases the accuracy. 

That, combined with the absence of heartbeat, which should be easily detectable at 9 weeks and can usually be seen at 6-7 weeks makes me think that you were given accurate information. I don't think there is any chance you aborted a healthy baby. I'm so very sorry for your loss but I don't think for one second that you caused it by taking misoprostol. 


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## skysmom2016 (Jul 1, 2016)

katelove said:


> I don't think there is any chance you aborted a healthy baby. I'm so very sorry for your loss but I don't think for one second that you caused it by taking misoprostol.
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Thank you katelove. I hope I can accept that one day. I keep telling myself 3 weeks behind is too far... hoping I believe it if I repeat it enough.

I just spoke with the nurse as I had called about my HCG levels. They did one test the day I took the misoprostol, not a followup test to compare levels. My levels were 45,200, so on the low-ish end of normal for 9-12 weeks. That makes me discouraged, sort of adds to my feelings of guilt.   But if this was a miscarriage, it was a missed miscarriage, so I would expect to see HCG levels still right? I told her that I was having thoughts that it was a healthy baby all along, and she said that in the ultrasound they were also unable to detect a yolk sac and the gestational sac was irregular.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Yes, you may have still had some active placental tissue producing bHCG even after the baby had died. Or, possibly your levels were falling. As you only had one blood test, you don't know what your HCG peaked at. 


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## Nazsmum (Aug 5, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss. :Hug


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## skysmom2016 (Jul 1, 2016)

I think I might be starting to come to terms with it a bit more. 

The baby was 6 weeks, without a heartbeat, and while I read stories online about babies without a heartbeat at 6 weeks.... that's because they really are 6 weeks. I wasn't 6 weeks, impossible based on when I got my bfp and when we had sex. I was 9 weeks at the very least, and most likely 10 1/2 weeks. 3-4.5 weeks behind, no heartbeat, no yolk sac, gestational sac was breaking down and hemorrhaging... my baby was dead before the misoprostol. I "know" that in my mind.

My husband says he thinks it is the psychological part of me that is disturbed that an action I did (insert the misoprostol) is what brought about the bleeding. So, while factually my baby was dead before that, I have it in my mind that I "caused" the miscarriage when really I just helped nature along with the medication.

I think knowing how I feel about this now, next time (if there is one) I will wait for nature to take it's course as hard as the waiting may be. Anything else might make me feel like I killed the baby.


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## Margo Dahlquist (Jul 12, 2016)

Oh my! I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## unuselyriver (Aug 13, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss


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