# Overweight Children



## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

Just wondering - I would have done a poll, but I don't know how lol. What do you all think about overweight children? I saw an episode of Dr. Phil the other day about this and I was so saddened by how these children are growing up unable to do things that the average child does, like run around outside, without getting out of breath. Really, it seems like child abuse to me. I grew up with such poor eating habits, I struggle with it all the time. I truly believe that food can be an addiction, and if you don't teach your children about proper nutrition from the start, they will form bad eating habits and it's just one more thing to make their lives harder as they get older. Anyhow, sorry for the rant, I just hate to see this.


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## angie7 (Apr 23, 2007)

I agree. I do believe that it is a form of child abuse. It isn't fair to the child to have a parent that feeds them garbage and a lot of it.


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## bwylde (Feb 19, 2004)

There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Then there is the other side. Now I wont touch the extremes but the general 5-15% overweight we see a lot can also be dirrectly linked to poor diet but also low income. I now personally as a low income family we went through many times where great or even good nurtution was next to impossible when I relled on pasta and potatos to feed my family and frankly those pack on the lbs. I'm not talking cheetos and soda and twinkies. but when your relaying on a food pantry provisons so your finding your choices as Mac N cheese instant potatos tuna canned green beans corn and peas pasta (tons of pasta) and wic provisions.. you make do and sadly often the body rebells. I tink there are a lot of "bad" choices that can contrubute parents who are feeding a lot of junk and by choice kids stuck in front of the TV all day ect but I also feel that nothing is black and white.

Deanna


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

My son takes a medication (he has Autism) that slows his metabolism. He is not overweight, but a little on the husky side. However, we make sure he gets plenty of healthy foods, exercise, and his doctor monitors his weight.

(And please no flames about the meds, because I am simply not going to defend it or discuss it at this time. Thank you.)

However, my SIL's kids are not just a bit chunky, they are FAT. I mean, the 13 yr old daughter cannot walk without huffing and puffing. SIL had gastric bypass surgery and is gaining her weight back. Her son is getting taller, so he is not as fat as he was, but still. SIL and BIL are not ignorant people. It baffles me. And of course, no one says anything to SIL or BIL. (to clarify~I would never, ever say anything about those kids to anyone or in front of them ~ they are not to blame and are great kids)

I feel that not trying to help your kids maintain a decent weight, is child neglect.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Obesity is not caused by eating junk food. It's caused by consuming an excess of calories. Those calories can come from twinkies or spaghetti, potato chips or cubes of cheddar.

We cook fairly healthy most of the time. My kids are older and have their own money, go places without me, etc., so I can't control what they eat, and I know they drink a lot of soda and eat chips, candy and such when they're out or at friends' houses. They're both very slim, despite the 16yo's propensity towards sitting and playing video games all day. Because, while their diets do include garbage, they don't spend a lot of time eating.

While I think that we'd all be best served if junk food was eliminated from our diets, it's portion control that matters most for weight management. I think many overweight children have been trained to use food to occupy themselves. Lots of parents are like, "be quiet....here, have a cookie."

And of course, like the other poster mentioned....high calorie, "filler" foods are cheaper than better choices. Some people just don't have the money to feed their families whole grains and fresh fruit.


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## library lady (Sep 3, 2007)

There is no one size fits all answer to this. There are so many factors that go into being overweight. Yes, there are some children that are overweight where it is clearly the "fault" of the parent. I would say that those cases are minimal. How can you call it abuse when the average person is trying to force candy, soda, and other psuedo-foods on little kids? How many threads have you seen where well meaning family members try to give your little ones candy or other junk ALL the time. If you speak out against it, then you are accused of depriving your child and being a bad parent. Don't you know, it's just a little taste? How can you blame the parent when kids are getting recess and PE taken away for not doing enough work in class or not getting enough AR points? I think the problem with overweight kids is a symptom of society and isn't something that can clearly be blamed on bad parenting.


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## Seasons (Jun 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
And of course, like the other poster mentioned....high calorie, "filler" foods are cheaper than better choices. Some people just don't have the money to feed their families whole grains and fresh fruit.

I disagree. Dry whole grains (barley, oats) and beans are among the cheapest things in the grocery store! And fresh fruits and veggies, in season, are easily in the budget too.

I was on WIC for a time, and also food stamps, and had no problem at all feeding my family nutritiously - in fact, I would spend only 1/2 the food stamp allotment. And no, I don't have a college degree in nutrition - you don't need one and I got pretty annoyed by the well-meaners who assumed "poor" meant "too stupid to feed her family properly." The only people, rich or poor, who are having a hard time feeding their families nutritious meals are those who feel entitled to eat McDonald's. And they deserve the hypertension/obesity they get.

As for the kids, I wouldn't write off fat kids as having a life sentence to poor health and obesity. I come from bad genes, especially on one side (EVERYONE is >150# overweight) and my parents were the original couch potatoes. But I learned good nutrition (basic 4-food-groups commercials during Saturday cartoons!) and started long-distance running by myself in elementary school. Thirty years later, I'm still fit, and my sib and parents are still obese and in poor health. We all make our choices on how to live; I think we should give kids more credit for having the power to reassess and make their own decisions about health, LONG before they are adults.

So yeah, shame on the parents feeding their kids crap and not exercising, but kids can make their own healthy decisions pretty quickly in their lives. IMHO.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

I disagree. Dry whole grains (barley, oats) and beans are among the cheapest things in the grocery store! And fresh fruits and veggies, in season, are easily in the budget too.

There only "cheep" when you have them as an option. We spent quite a bit of time going through loops getting approved through DES for food stamps despite having zero money for food so we rellied on food banks and there was no choose your whole grains and fresh fruits it was here is your big box of instant potatoes and cans of peas.
We've been on some form of food stamps for the past five years (I hate saying that) and depending on our ammount and the fact we haven't been elligable for WIC in a few years I can confidently say its is just about impossible to feed super healthy. Produce is not cheap not by a long shot not when even apples alone are $2.49lb on sale. Bread wit hout all the junk running at least $4 a loaf (and making isn't an option that requires an oven that works or money for a bread maker). And ect I've deffiently learned to do the best I can and i'll say despite the struggle we eat well and healthy but its not with out some huge struggles.

Deanna


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:

The only people, rich or poor, who are having a hard time feeding their families nutritious meals are those who feel entitled to eat McDonald's. And they deserve the hypertension/obesity they get.
Thats very harsh and just not true... Mc Donalds is soo far down on our list of expecations its not an option. Again don't assume to know everyones situation. I spent enough nights crying my self to sleep because I had to deal with my DD melting down because all I had to feed her was a big can of spaggettos provided my the community food bank and she'd would have rather had a darm bannana. Plenty of times where I refrained from feeding myself (as as a diabetic thats dangerous) so I could give what little fresh produce we had on DH DD plates. Times when yes I bought the big bag of pasta and the 15lb bag of potatos because at least it filled them up... No one here has an obesity issue BTW but food isn't always nearly as nutrutionally sound as I'd like.
DH starts his new job in January and our FS days will be in out past YEA! We wont forget though..

Deanna


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## soposdedi (May 9, 2005)

Man, i try SO very hard not to judge. Because there are so sooo many factors that go into this topic. The only time i get upset is if a child is REALLY heavy, and as was mentioned, incapable of even playing because of so much excess weight. I was labeled overweight as a child, by pediatricians. Although my parents were diabetic health nuts and i KNOW i ate a lot of good foods and very little junk until i was old enough to make eating choices for myself. In which time i went a little nuts with it lol. I have ALWAYS struggled with my weight, as have both my parents. But i maintained a zaftig but reasonably healthy size/weight until i got pregnant. I dunno where i am going with this lol.

My daughter tends towards the 'chunky' side and i get warnings from the pediatricians to keep an eye on her







. But, girlfriend is big and will be a gorgeous armful of woman someday... i try really hard to help her have a good body image







. She did go thru a phase of calling herself 'plump' or 'chubby' because her best friend was one of those skinny minnie kids naturally







. That made me sad, but she got over it. She's tall and healthy and full of life and just perfect







.


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## Draupadi (Jul 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

Your daughter is beautiful and looks normal to me. I don't see anything wrong with her weight at all.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

It is possible to eat healthy on the cheap, assuming you have even a small amount of money for groceries. If you're relying on a food pantry that's a different story... but frankly most obese people are not relying on food pantries.

I eat about 90-99% vegan and I do it very cheaply. Lots of carrots, celery, beans, peanuts (I splurge on more expensive nuts like cashews and almonds when I can), iceberg lettuce, romaine lettuce, dandelion greens (the latter are very cheap), citrus when it is on sale. Frozen greens are dirt cheap... 99 cents a package on sale. Quinoa (the goya brand is a fraction of the cost of the health food store stuff), whole wheat flour, brown rice. Assuming you have a working fridge/ freezer and oven, yes you can eat very healthy for not much money at all.

I don't mean any of this in a snarky way, but I eat healthy and cheap every day.

As far as obesity being child abuse, I think feeding your kids primarily junk (whether it makes them fat or not) is akin to abuse or neglect... my kids are all thin but they crave unhealthy thing and it's a real battle. You can lead a child to healthy food but you can't make them eat.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

Your DD looks absolutely normal to me... I would never consider her to be obese if I saw her walk by.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Assuming you have a working fridge/ freezer and oven, yes you can eat very healthy for not much money at all.

YEa and there is a big problem here also many waht I'd love to have avaible her isn't. Doesn't mean I need or needed to go the other extreme but it did make it harder. Diffrent diatery needs also made it hard.

Deanna


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

there is definitely a difference between your weight and your health. you can be a bit overweight ( like has been mentioned, some kids are just built bigger, or have meds that make them put on fat) but still be basically physically fit..can run around, play, exercise, etc. and you can be thin and horribly unhealthy too.
I always look at physical fitness as more inmportant than weight..yes, they do start to correalte, but it certainly isn't OSFA, as someone already said. i know that I was in a lot better shape at 210 than at 180.....due to hormonal issues, i gained the weigth, btu at 220 i was going to exercise classes regularly, etc, and at 180 couldnt walk up a flight of stairs without nearly dying...


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## dex_millie (Oct 19, 2006)

I do believe there is always the other side where some children may be more genetically incline to being overweight and some ethnicity are naturally thick. I have a few friends that are naturally thick and look sickly when they did loose weight(but they wasn't overly overweight).

But alot of the children and people I have meet or known has an eating problem. Alot has no problem admitting it. I have seen some start to get they life in order only for the other 'overweight person' to critize them about starving themselves and depriving themselves.

My sis. has a friend too that is overweight, this girl would get up all hours of night to eat. There is an increase in overweight children in America. When I was growing up there was rarely any overweight children in my school(not from the continient America, but is a US territory). I could have count on my one hand how many children was overweight from K-12.

I don't see being thick as a big problem. One side of my family is thick, which to me is there genes. I only get really sad when I see them that is clearly 'obese'/'overweight' where you can tell it is affecting them daily.

Also agree with pp that being too thin is not healthy eighter, there is other factors to look when it comes to health.


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## dex_millie (Oct 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

I would not consider your child overweight, she just looks 'thick' which to me looks fine for her age, I would never consider that fat (And this is coming from a very thin person). I see nothing unhealthy about her weight.


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## `guest` (Nov 20, 2001)

I also think there is a huge emotional component to overweight; sil for example eats all healthy whole grains, etc. and is pretty big, and her daughter is going to be big too I think. But that is also genetics. There's so many factors, like pp said, emotional, food, exercise, also if they have asthma...most important people who are overweight should not be looked down on or made to feel bad about their weight! My MIL who is SIL mom recently passed away and she was naturally chunky but had an eating disorder which made her toooo think , and helped kill her in the end...we need to shift our attitudes etc.
And I have neighbors whose kids eat complete crap and are all skinny as twigs...it's just not simple...


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

She looks adorable and very much like my 3 year old. Dd is almost 4 and 98% for height and 95% for weight. the WIC ladies keep going on about not feeding her junk or too much juice, I don't, she's a tall kid with boundless energy. wearing a size 5T clothes.
I have seen some of the overweight kids on shows like Maury, and the parents are stuffing them full of pizza and other high fat, high salt, high carb Junk. That does seem abusive, if they had healthy normal diets, I could see that there were other things going on in the chilsd health to cause such huge weight gain.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
There only "cheep" when you have them as an option. We spent quite a bit of time going through loops getting approved through DES for food stamps despite having zero money for food so we rellied on food banks and there was no choose your whole grains and fresh fruits it was here is your big box of instant potatoes and cans of peas.

Octobermom- I'm sorry if you feel attacked. You have been doing the best you could do for your family and that is all that anyone can do.

However there is a difference between having foodstamps or a small food budget and having zero money for food. If you go to a food bank it is not the same as going to a grocery store. At a food bank you must take what you can get but that is not what people are talking about. They are talking about actually going to the store with either an EBT card or a small sum of money.

On a tiny food budget (at one point my family of three was living on $25 a week for food) we still ate pretty healthy, brown rice is cheap, dry beans, frozen veggies, etc. A small bunch of bananas is almost always less than a dollar and a half in any season, and in season fresh produce is pretty dirt cheap (at least here it is, but I can get whole grain bread for 2.50 so there is obviously a difference in the cost of living here).

I think it's neglectful personally for people to allow their young children (not teenagers) to sit infront of the television or video game all day and allow them to eat empty calories. However, I realize there are many many factors in what leads to obesity.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

I think that a lot of good points have been raised here. Of course, every situation is different and there are always exceptions but I was more talking about like extreme obesity in children and when parents are just feeding them not only junk but junk all the time whenever they want it. I do also think the chunky and obese are on completely different levels.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:

Octobermom- I'm sorry if you feel attacked. You have been doing the best you could do for your family and that is all that anyone can do.
Thanks and sorry if I sounded like I felt attacked. Its more furstrations that builds up and occasionally spills out at innocent people. It's when all the factors come into place a poor budget having to choose between necessary medicine and good food a non working oven a child with special diet needs a DH who eats like every meal is his last it all adds up to lots of frustration.

Deanna


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
I disagree. Dry whole grains (barley, oats) and beans are among the cheapest things in the grocery store! And fresh fruits and veggies, in season, are easily in the budget too.

Well, I suppose that in some places, you have cheap produce. Here in Rhode Island, there are only a few months out of the year that anything is "in season." Some produce can be fairly inexpensive in the mid-summer-to-early-fall portion of the year, but that's about it.

I suppose I should be grateful that my family has never had to eat, say, beans and rice for weeks at a stretch. We like variety and interesting dishes, and I really can't imagine eating barley and oats more than once or twice a week. You gotta do what you gotta do, but like I said in another thread, healthy food is only healthy if it gets eaten. If I tried to feed my kids oatmeal and beans when they were small, they would have refused and gone to bed hungry. They will eat those things now, but both had texture issues when they were little.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

I think it's horrible when a child is overweight because their parents think it's ok to overfeed their children or just feed them junk...

However, I don't judge a parent based on their childs weight if I don't know the situation. There are people who eat health and without an excess of calories who are still overweight. I know someone who eats healthy, exercises, doesn't over do it on anything and she is still classified as "morbidly obese".


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## bwylde (Feb 19, 2004)

Thanks







: She's so solid I cannot lift her without putting my back out, lol! DS is a few inches taller and about 15-20lbs lighter; same family, different body types. It just kind of hurts that many think that just because a child is very overweight, it is akin to child abuse. FTR, we're very low income and we don't have WIC/food stamps here, but I make healthy eating a priority.


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

Dismal nutrition (whether it results in an overweight child or not) is a form of child abuse IMO. I know preschoolers who have a mt dew for breakfast and all the twinkies they so desire. Is it just lack of education?

I have one of those naturally "obese" but eats very healthy kids. I hope people don't assume I feed him junk food just because he's chunky. I often wonder.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

According to the BMI charts, my daughter is overweight -
http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...45819f9d55.jpg
Another picture taken the same week, you can see her better

We had a discussion about it everytime we went to a wic appointment (at one point they even recommended reducing her calorie intake!) Anyone looking at her can see that there is no way she is overweight. She is very "solid" (very strong legs and torso, but it's muscle, not fat)

Anyway, there are children who are overweight because of a bad diet, children who are overweight and eat healthy, children who are considered overweight by charts and bmi calculators yet have no extra fat, etc. You can't not assume just by looking at a child that they are overweight because of a horrible diet. My daughter eats very healthy foods, does not have a lot of extra fat, yet we get told she is overweight at every doctors appointment.


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Thin kids eat crap too, only no one notices b/c they don't wear it on their body. And thin kids that sit in front of the tv all day are no better off than their heavier counterparts. Poor habits, are poor habits regardless of weight. I dislike singling people out based on weight as it leads to stereotypes and erroneous assumptions that weight always predicts health.

I know several size 2 women who have flabbier stomachs than mine and zero muscle. So I no longer look at weight at all. What I look for is exercise, fitness, and diet.

Also, calories and portion control are only an issue for the true couch potatoes. There's a whole subset of obesity that is due to metabolic/genetic issues and not lifestyle. I am one of those exceptions. Calories don't really matter so much as what I eat (which I assure you is never crap).

However, I worry about DD who is chunky at 13 months. I hope to help her avoid my weight issues. At least now I know how to eat and what diet will control my weight, information that was not available when I was a child. So she has a fighting chance.

V


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## Labyrinth (Apr 14, 2008)

There are thin kids who eat junk, watch TV all day, etc- and have a poor outlook for their future health. There are overweight children who eat healthy foods, and they just happen to be overweight. There are even obese children who are active and eat no junk food.

So much has to do with genetics- they even believe that certain cold viruses may contribute to obesity. There are also kids who have to use medications which cause obesity or have underlying medical conditions (diagnosed or not) that contribute to their weight.

It is easy to pass judgment. But blame rarely gets us anywhere.


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## La Sombra (Sep 27, 2007)

This topic is so complicated that it's hard to know where to begin. Read Marion Nestle and Michael Pollan and Christiane Northrup and Eric Schlosser and many many others!

First, let's acknowledge the difference between a child being morbidly obese and being of a slightly heavier build than perhaps the average healthy child. I mean, there is a range of normal and we'd do very well in this country to accept the beauty of different body types. I'll add to all the other pp.s who commented on the photograph of the other pp's daughter: she looks perfect!

Let me remark, too, that I so often talk to or encounter interviews and such with women who have battled weight problems for so long and who went on to begin eating healthfully but who say things like, "Oh, when my kids are eating pizza, I now have the willpower to just have a salad!" Now, not that there's anything wrong with pizza now and then, but I often think how funny that women who clearly have had important epiphanies about their OWN relationship with food don't seem to make the connection to their kids and see the necessity of instill in their children healthy eating habits so that their KIDS might avoid the problems they themselves have faced all their lives. What can we do about that?

Now, the question of the relationship between poverty and obesity is a very tangly one. One pp mentioned that many healthy foods are actually CHEAPER than junk. As I understand it, that is true when considering the WEIGHT of each. But when it comes to calories, processed foods are cheaper. In other words, a pound of tomatoes IS CHEAPER than a pound of Cheetos. But 200 calories of tomato are MORE EXPENSIVE than 200 calories of Cheetos. This might seem like a trivial difference, but when you are truly poor and your children are truly hungry, you need to get as many calories as you can for your money. Cheetos (etc.) starts to look like a pretty viable option if want your kids to go to bed full instead of hungry. This gets into all sorts of questions of what the government can/should be doing to encourage or enable poor families to feed their children nutritious foods. It's a topic that's probably outside the scope of this thread.

I'd also like to mention that there is increasing evidence that not all calories are created equal. This is part of the issue of the so-called "French Paradox": that French people (and Italians and Greeks and many, many other traditional cultures) eat rich, fatty foods, but are thinner than their American counterparts (we, a people who are obsessed with weight and dieting). Many of you who know Weston Price know that in his research, he observed that wherever a modern, Western diet (full of refined sugars and processed foods) was introduced to a traditional one, rates of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, etc. soared. Another FASCINATING book that touches on this is Hungry Planet, which looks in a series of photographs and articles at a week's worth of food for people around the globe (read about the aborigine family in Melbourne, Australia, for instance). Or, to boil that all down to one sentence: you'd be better off eating spinach wilted in a pan of bacon and bacon fat than a twinkie! (Read: Fat: An Appreciation of a Misunderstood Ingredient, with Recipes by Jennifer McLagan.)

We have a pretty messed-up food culture here in America (read Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, a follow-up to the Omnivore's Dilemma), and this fact prevents me from outright accusing parents of morbidly obese children of a form of child abuse (although they certainly deserve some of the responsibility). Advertising to children, fast food, eating in cars, the ubiquity of processed food, a lack of viable food culture, misleading health claims coming from food industry, exploding portion sizes, and ignorance about what healthy food actually IS all conspire to make people fat and unhealthy.

Of course parents have a responsibility to feed their kids healthfully! But I would also argue that the government should not subsidize the corn and soy that appear in ALL our fatty, nutrition-free processed foods, nor should corporations be entitled to make fairly warrantless health claims about these processed junk foods, nor should schools have Coca-Cola vending machines and greasy processed foods for lunch...and the list goes on.

It's a complex and important problem, one that Alice Waters said was so vital that she couldn't vote for any candidate that didn't address it.

This is a subject that I am really passionate about, can you tell!


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DianeAK* 
Now, the question of the relationship between poverty and obesity is a very tangly one. One pp mentioned that many healthy foods are actually CHEAPER than junk. As I understand it, that is true when considering the WEIGHT of each. But when it comes to calories, processed foods are cheaper. In other words, a pound of tomatoes IS CHEAPER than a pound of Cheetos. But 200 calories of tomato are MORE EXPENSIVE than 200 calories of Cheetos. This might seem like a trivial difference, but when you are truly poor and your children are truly hungry, you need to get as many calories as you can for your money.

I can think of many calorie dense, inexpensive foods that are healthy. Flour, beans, potatoes (with skin), eggs (which are protein dense).

Tomatoes are very expensive by and large.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Flour and potatoes are calorie dense, but they're also foods that we fat people are often warned not to eat, or to eat in only very small amounts.


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## jennifer_lc1 (Sep 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

your dd looks just fine to me, and very cute too btw!


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## jennifer_lc1 (Sep 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
Thats very harsh and just not true... Mc Donalds is soo far down on our list of expecations its not an option. Again don't assume to know everyones situation. I spent enough nights crying my self to sleep because I had to deal with my DD melting down because all I had to feed her was a big can of spaggettos provided my the community food bank and she'd would have rather had a darm bannana. Plenty of times where I refrained from feeding myself (as as a diabetic thats dangerous) so I could give what little fresh produce we had on DH DD plates. Times when yes I bought the big bag of pasta and the 15lb bag of potatos because at least it filled them up... No one here has an obesity issue BTW but food isn't always nearly as nutrutionally sound as I'd like.
DH starts his new job in January and our FS days will be in out past YEA! We wont forget though..

Deanna


just wanted to give you a huge







and wish you and your family good luck


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

I just wanted to add that poor people are not all staying at home raising kids. Many of them work 2, 3, or 4 jobs (with two parents), which also contributes to poor nutrition for their kids. I only work one job, plus go to school part time, and I'm sure glad my husband does the cooking.

I just can't see someone working all day cleaning houses, and then coming home to bake a loaf of healthy, whole grain bread before she dashes out the door to get to work again. Often times, people aren't just looking for cheap; they're looking for cheap and _convenient_.


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## Meg_s (Apr 13, 2006)

I feel very very very sorry for the children, and wonder what the reason is that they are like that.

First of all that beautiful 4 year old in the pic is not overweight at all, she looks sturdy and healthy. There is a difference between carrying a healthy layer of fat, and being overweight as a child. My older son to me looks slender and tall, but he carries a layer of fat that most of the kids around here do not have, at his age (3) most of them seem to have become very lean and hard already. My younger son







is the chubbiest little thing ever.

I was a sturdy child, and athletic/active, but just before puberty hit I got fat.
"Healthy" food can be debated, I ate a lot of grains, pasta, bread, my parents could not afford twinkies, chips, fast food, those snacks that everyone else had at school. But for my particular body (and actually this goes for most of my family) grains, and carbohydrates in general above a relatively low amount created fat and ill health. It is absolutely horrible as a child/young teen to be fat, ridiculed and viewed with disgust, unable to freely move and play sports with the ease that should be our right as a human being. My next sister down, ate the same things as me but was always very very lean - like, carry a 6 pack all throughout her teens and 20s lean. I only ever become leaner and healthy looking and FEELING when I drastically changed my diet to something that suited my body. My parents were not to blame, pop, chips, junk food, fast food, those were all things that we rarely had and only as a special treat. They didn't know what I needed.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

I was a fat child and am a fat adult, and now I have children who are on the chunky side, so when you talk about fat people deserving what they get and being child abusers, please keep in mind you are talking about people who share the site here with you. I would be interested in talking about sure-fire ways to get my children to eat healthy foods without basically telling them they have to go hungry when they hate the food I make. This happens almost on a daily basis, and I struggle with what to make for them, and they eat things that are less than optimal.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

I went back and forth on replying. I think like so many pp said, there's just so much to it. It's not black and white. I am surprised though, that no one mentioned the "clean your plate club", or the "you have to eat "x" amount of bites". Although, I suppose that falls into the emotional category. It seems more often than not that children are not allowed to self-regulate their food intake which, imho is a huge factor into obesity. I agree eating crud and high calorie foods doesn't help, but when you mess with trying to determine what intake a child should be eating, you screw up their ability to regulate what they need on their own...beginning at infancy with trying to get your newborn to finish that 2oz...or 4oz, etc. Children are also so much more sedentary than they were before tv and video games.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Let me just say that I *am* fat. I need to lose a lot of weight. However, that is me. I did this to myself. I now do my best to model better eating habits and most of the time, the kids follow. Thank goodness.

But, I know my SIL and her husband and kids very well. I know that they eat out constantly, that they eat fatty, rich foods and there is constant candy in the house. In fact, she used to send bags and bags of it to our house, until I put a stop to it. There is not a money issue, as far as I know. She is also a wonderful cook, but never cooks.

They never allow their kids to play outside and encourage them to be active. They even have a huge, fenced-in yard that I envy. I have to be outside constantly with my 9 yr old (Autism) and the 3 yr old, even when I don't want to, in order for them to get their outside time.

I am not saying that she or her DH are horrible people. They are not. But, she and he are neglectful of their children, because she doesn't do anything to help ensure their health and well-being, to the best of her ability. I never say anything, because I just don't know what to say and I would not want to start a freaking war. But, it makes me sad to see these beautiful kids, not just chunky or a little bigger than other kids, but morbidly obese. To where the poor daughter is so fat, that she huffs and puffs when walking, etc.

If I sound judgmental, well, fine. But, it is hard to see this and not think, what the heck?


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## Draupadi (Jul 19, 2007)

None of the beautiful children posted here look remotely "obese" or even fat to me. But maybe I'm biased. People used to mention my son's weight to me ("he's so...big for his age!"







) a lot when he was a little younger, but IMO, he was (and still is) solid. He eats mostly healthy and organic foods, and is still breastfeeding.
I don't like BMI charts because I don't think they take certain things into account (like build/body frame).


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## daricsmami (May 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
I just wanted to add that poor people are not all staying at home raising kids. Many of them work 2, 3, or 4 jobs (with two parents), which also contributes to poor nutrition for their kids. I only work one job, plus go to school part time, and I'm sure glad my husband does the cooking.

I just can't see someone working all day cleaning houses, and then coming home to bake a loaf of healthy, whole grain bread before she dashes out the door to get to work again. *Often times, people aren't just looking for cheap; they're looking for cheap and convenient*.

Very true!

I know when I'm tired from being gone from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm (and still have to do homework, do laundry, get the kid ready for bed, etc), I'm more likely to grab a TV dinner out of the freezer than actually cook a meal.

eta: I think some of it is laziness and having these convenience foods available. My grandmother was a single mom and she cooked every day, with a dessert!







Part of the problem is that many people truly believe that junk food/convenience foods are not that bad. Of course, we know that they aren't the best choices, but who is able to always make the best choices for their families? It's sort of like the whole "breast is best" campaign. They make it seem like only superwomen are able to breastfeed, so if you fall short of that i.e. use formula, you're still a good mom (I'm not implying that women who formula fed [I did] are not good moms!).


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## Seasons (Jun 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
I just wanted to add that poor people are not all staying at home raising kids. Many of them work 2, 3, or 4 jobs (with two parents), which also contributes to poor nutrition for their kids. I only work one job, plus go to school part time, and I'm sure glad my husband does the cooking.

I just can't see someone working all day cleaning houses, and then coming home to bake a loaf of healthy, whole grain bread before she dashes out the door to get to work again. Often times, people aren't just looking for cheap; they're looking for cheap and _convenient_.

Really? I do it! I am gone, working, over ten hours a day. That has zero to do with nutrition strategy. I still have weekends to cook big batches of lentil soups, red beans & rice, etc. - and sometimes bread (we prefer rice and whole-wheat pastas though). I pack my daughter's healthful lunch for school and I make her a good breakfast and dinner - seriously, HOW long does it take to pour organic milk over whole-grain cereal? About as long as it takes a SAHM to do so.







When my daughter was exclusively breastfeeding, most of her first year, I pumped milk at night to bring to daycare the next day, and when she began solids I of course used my blender to make nutritious baby food to bring in. C'mon, it's just not THAT hard to be a good AP mom and a full-time breadwinner. And I'm a solo mom.... (*Daricsmami* above says that her single-mom grandmother similarly put a good meal on the table every night.)

_Of course_ people, poor and rich, working and not, may choose convenience over slow food. I've heard that even Oprah eats fast-food chicken (something that my now-elementary-aged daughter has never eaten in her whole life







). But let's call a spade a spade: if you're choosing fast food for your family, admit that you CHOOSE it. Your boss or your budget didn't make you do it!

And again, exercise and good sleep are equal parts, with nutrition, to good health. I know just as many SAHMs as WOHMs who refuse entirely to exercise. Having a career, or kids in daycare/school, does NOT give one a pass to avoid family exercise. (My daughter and I walk to school, I bike-commute to work, and she plays sports in the evenings - often while I run laps around the field.) And we emphasize a full night's sleep (no alarm clocks in our home).

As to kids not "liking" healthful foods... huh, strange, cultures all over the world, for centuries before this one, managed to bring kids to adulthood without their "requiring" to eat McDonalds... I'm all for kids having a true voice in the family, but if my daughter wanted KFC that would NOT dictate our menu.









As to judging, I wouldn't expect anyone to do or overcome what I haven't myself. I'm poor (and have been very very poor), I work FT+, I AP parent, I come from fat genes, I see the same fast-food billboard advertising everyone does. I still say there's no excuse for me or my family to be fat or eat junk. We choose health!


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## Carma (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:

I'm a _happy_, working, attached, solo mom.
I think the happy part is important here. I always find it easier to eat better exercise etc. when I feel happy. I know it can be a vicious circle.

Sometimes I wander about thin parents with overweight children. Wandering how that can happen.

Carma


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Seasons* 
Really? I do it! I am gone, working, over ten hours a day. That has zero to do with nutrition strategy. I still have weekends to cook big batches of lentil soups, red beans & rice, etc. - and sometimes bread (we prefer rice and whole-wheat pastas though). I pack my daughter's healthful lunch for school and I make her a good breakfast and dinner - seriously, HOW long does it take to pour organic milk over whole-grain cereal? About as long as it takes a SAHM to do so.







When my daughter was exclusively breastfeeding, most of her first year, I pumped milk at night to bring to daycare the next day, and when she began solids I of course used my blender to make nutritious baby food to bring in. C'mon, it's just not THAT hard to be a good AP mom and a full-time breadwinner. And I'm a solo mom.... (*Daricsmami* above says that her single-mom grandmother similarly put a good meal on the table every night.)

_Of course_ people, poor and rich, working and not, may choose convenience over slow food. I've heard that even Oprah eats fast-food chicken (something that my now-elementary-aged daughter has never eaten in her whole life







). But let's call a spade a spade: if you're choosing fast food for your family, admit that you CHOOSE it. Your boss or your budget didn't make you do it!

And again, exercise and good sleep are equal parts, with nutrition, to good health. I know just as many SAHMs as WOHMs who refuse entirely to exercise. Having a career, or kids in daycare/school, does NOT give one a pass to avoid family exercise. (My daughter and I walk to school, I bike-commute to work, and she plays sports in the evenings - often while I run laps around the field.) And we emphasize a full night's sleep (no alarm clocks in our home).

As to kids not "liking" healthful foods... huh, strange, cultures all over the world, for centuries before this one, managed to bring kids to adulthood without their "requiring" to eat McDonalds... I'm all for kids having a true voice in the family, but if my daughter wanted KFC that would NOT dictate our menu.









As to judging, I wouldn't expect anyone to do overcome what I haven't myself. I'm poor (and have been very very poor), I work FT+, I AP parent, I come from fat genes, I see the same fast-food billboard advertising everyone does. I still say there's no excuse for me or my family to be fat or eat junk. We choose health!


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## La Sombra (Sep 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
I went back and forth on replying. I think like so many pp said, there's just so much to it. It's not black and white. I am surprised though, that no one mentioned the "clean your plate club", or the "you have to eat "x" amount of bites". Although, I suppose that falls into the emotional category. It seems more often than not that children are not allowed to self-regulate their food intake which, imho is a huge factor into obesity. I agree eating crud and high calorie foods doesn't help, but when you mess with trying to determine what intake a child should be eating, you screw up their ability to regulate what they need on their own...beginning at infancy with trying to get your newborn to finish that 2oz...or 4oz, etc. Children are also so much more sedentary than they were before tv and video games.

You are totally right. I think in my post I referred generally to a messed-up food culture here in America, but it was exactly these types of things that I was referring to. We don't teach our children to understand how to respect their bodies and know when they are hungry or full. Michael Pollan mentions in his book "In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto" a study where groups of French people and groups of Americans were both asked how they know when to stop eating. The French largely responded that they would finish eating when they were full. Well, duh, right? But what was the American response? By and large, we finish eating "When the plate is clean." That's absolutely because we are taught from an early age to "clean your plate," or to eat a certain, perhaps arbitrary amount before being excused from the table.

I am so conscious of this and really try to respect my daughter. We start with small portions so as not to waste food and if she is full, that's it, fine, she's done. Likewise, if she's still hungry, I respect that, too, and try and teach her that she should listen to her body. I didn't grow up this way, really, and I still struggle to know when I myself am full. I hope I can spare her that struggle.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I have one overweight kid and one waaaaay skinny kid. I'm always blown away by these threads where tremendous anger is expressed toward families with overweight kids. (eg child abuse statements and lots of details about the eating and exercise lives of relatives).

And yet I read them....must be a glutton (*snort*) for punishment.








:














:


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Awww man. I saw the thread title and got so excited hoping there was a thread for us mamas of overweight children to talk about it.







I am so disappointed.

Is there a support-only thread for us here?

I have a "too skinny" daughter, a 100% average son, an overweight son (I won't be posting a picture) and a baby.

My overweight son is 60 pounds at 4 years old. All of our Doctors say "it's just genes, clearly he got some bad ones that the rest of your immediate family didn't get" (dh and I are thin). Or, the classic "he is just going to be a linebacker!", etc.

I appreciate that our Doctors trust the way we feed our kids (healthier than most!), and that they don't think there is a problem, but- my 4 year old has a stretch mark on his belly







(and is far off the charts for his weight). My family of origin has a few morbidly obese people and a lot of us struggle to maintain a healthy weight.

My son appears to be doomed (at 4 years old!) to a life of weight struggles, and I am so sad/worried about that.

I'd love a support thread


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
I have one overweight kid and one waaaaay skinny kid. I'm always blown away by these threads where tremendous anger is expressed toward families with overweight kids. (eg child abuse statements and lots of details about the eating and exercise lives of relatives).

And yet I read them....must be a glutton (*snort*) for punishment.








:














:


Just for the record, I am not angry with my SIL and BIL, in case you were directing this at my posts. If not, then ignore me.

The only reason I included what I know about their life, was to make a point that *sometimes*, in *some* cases, it IS the parenting style. Not poverty, lack of a place to exercise, or other factors. It is not *always* genes, either.

I am fat because I ate too much and didn't exercise. I am changing my ways and am determined that my children will not follow suit. No nagging or shaming. I am teaching by example, as best as I can.

And I am sorry, but to do as my SIL and BIL have done is a form of neglect. Not that they don't love their kids. They do. The kids are decent kids, and they have the best of everything. And AGAIN, I do not comment about it, tell them how to live or what to do. I treasure those kids and would never do anything to hurt their feelings. In fact, besides my husband, no one knows my feelings about this situation.

Some of you here would call a mother who chose to bottle-feed, negligent. Or even worse. Or at least, you would say she is wrong. Why is it different when a parent chooses NOT to serve nutritious meals and teach the children good eating habits?

No, not everyone is a thin person. People come in all shapes and sizes. But, it is sad to see a young girl who cannot run and play like other girls, because of her size, when there is no medical problem. When her problem could have been prevented, or at least remedied with a little care.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint* 
Awww man. I saw the thread title and got so excited hoping there was a thread for us mamas of overweight children to talk about it.







I am so disappointed.

Is there a support-only thread for us here?

I have a "too skinny" daughter, a 100% average son, an overweight son (I won't be posting a picture) and a baby.

My overweight son is 60 pounds at 4 years old. All of our Doctors say "it's just genes, clearly he got some bad ones that the rest of your immediate family didn't get" (dh and I are thin). Or, the classic "he is just going to be a linebacker!", etc.

I appreciate that our Doctors trust the way we feed our kids (healthier than most!), and that they don't think there is a problem, but- my 4 year old has a stretch mark on his belly







(and is far off the charts for his weight). My family of origin has a few morbidly obese people and a lot of us struggle to maintain a healthy weight.

My son appears to be doomed (at 4 years old!) to a life of weight struggles, and I am so sad/worried about that.

I'd love a support thread










Believe it or not, I support you.

My son struggles, due to his medication. Your situation, IMHO, is totally different than some described here. You are doing your utmost to make sure your child is healthy and happy.

I didn't get fat until I was an adult. That sucks. I cannot imagine being my 13 yr old niece and not being able to play like my friends do.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinkerBelle* 
Some of you here would call a mother who chose to bottle-feed, negligent. Or even worse. Or at least, you would say she is wrong. Why is it different when a parent chooses NOT to serve nutritious meals and teach the children good eating habits?

I don't think that it's different. I think it's tactless, insensitive, mean, and shortsighted, either way.

And I'd hope that anyone who would label bottlefeeding or an overweight child as a sole indication of ABUSE would never be accepted as a social worker, that's for sure.

Back on subject, it's kind of interesting but the pediatricians around here really have a burr up their butts over childhood obesity. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing, but unfortunately they are ONLY basing obesity on the weight percentile at well child visits. Anything above 50 percentile is consider overweight. And you will get a lecture about it. Doesn't matter if your child is 90+ percentile for *height*, if they're over 50 percentile for weight, you will get the fat kid lecture.

My daughter has been off the charts for height and overing around the top if not off the chart for weight since she was born. Yet I still get the lecture, even though I can point out on the little computerized record display, "Look, she's been 99th percentile in height and 90-97th percentile for weight for the LAST ALMOST-7 YEARS." So honestly, I can understand why some parents might tune it out. I know I certainly do, after I say quite bluntly, "Yes, I know that *I* am fat, but that didn't happen until I was 30, and the kids don't eat compulsively like I do." I take it from the blushes that it normally gets from the doctors that perhaps they are not comfortable with this latest sole measure of obesity either. Or they feel they got caught with their pants down assuming that because I'm fat I'm stupid and/or I spoon lard on my children's Sugar Bomb Cereal washed down with milkshakes or something.

At any rate, I don't post pics of my kids for all the world to see, and I'm not going to post one of DD, but when I have casually mentioned that I was told by her pediatrician that DD falls into the obese category people do double takes and say that they think that she's skinny! Which she certainly looks skinny but the girl is all muscle so apperances are deceiving. She doesn't have any extra fat on her, and she has a nice six-pack and is a very athletic kid.

I personally don't see that many more fat kids around these days than I remember as a child, but the areas where I was raised are NOT known for low fat, low cal cooking so that might have something to do with it.

I wish there were better measures. I think it's a problem in our society in general. But there's more than just the straight weight to consider, and you'd think it wouldn't be too hard to come up with ways to sort this out better.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:

As to kids not "liking" healthful foods... huh, strange, cultures all over the world, for centuries before this one, managed to bring kids to adulthood without their "requiring" to eat McDonalds... I'm all for kids having a true voice in the family, but if my daughter wanted KFC that would NOT dictate our menu.
I've always wondered why people always assume "picky eatter" implies chips soda and twinkies. I have a picky eatter because of very honest sensory issues and yes she will in fact truly starve her self to the point of passing out or getting very sick than eat what shes doesnt "want" but her list of "approved foods" is actually quite healthy she doesn't like pizza and chicken nuggets and cookies candy chips ect..

Deanna


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Perhaps some of us just do need a support thread to talk this out, instead of getting upset on a vent thread. Where would we put that? Nutrition forum? Parenting?


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

I also do feel there is more to "unhealthy" than just say candy chips soda I have seen poor parents that are trying but there choices partly because of budget partly because of education are soo poor. Take the stupid FDA school lunch programs, for those parents who do relay on that to provide at least 1 often 2 FDA approved "nutrtious" meals what so they get?? Well looking at my DD schools list pizza hot pockets, breaded chicken patties canned fruit in syrup french toast sticks (and I wont dare read those ingredients) HFCS laced juices chips and cookies are amoung the main things served. Then there are parents buying at home really trying. I remember helping a neighbor while she unpacked her FS bought grocceries shes young single with 2 kids and0 didn't have the past "past" but she is really trying and she was proud she made "healthy choices" and stayed in budget... she bought wheat bread (in reality colored white with HFCS) fruit cups (artifcally sweetened syrups) whole grain cereals (little nutrution and HFCS) 100% fruit juice with all natural on the front (again lots of sugar and HFCS) ect... I hate how to buy a darn loaf of bread with out a TON of crap is at least $4 and more if you want both no crap and healthy I hate how people stick No tans fat on the label and then it becomes " healthy" or how now with reduced sugar ect means we added artifical junk







. I really wish things such as HFCS was just not allowed. there are many places in the world where a very high fat little to no veggies fruits ect are consumed and these have been through out history. Yet obesity is an overall current epidemic yes it existed but not like today yet sooo much is soo fake and yet carefully disguised as good for us.









Deanna


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:

HOW long does it take to pour organic milk over whole-grain cereal?
If you're getting your food from a food pantry, or only have a small amount of money to use for food, you are _not_ going to have organic milk to pour on that cereal.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I don't think that it's different. *I think it's tactless, insensitive, mean, and shortsighted, either way.*

And I'd hope that anyone who would label bottlefeeding or an overweight child as a sole indication of ABUSE would never be accepted as a social worker, that's for sure.

Back on subject, it's kind of interesting but the pediatricians around here really have a burr up their butts over childhood obesity. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing, but unfortunately they are ONLY basing obesity on the weight percentile at well child visits. Anything above 50 percentile is consider overweight. And you will get a lecture about it. Doesn't matter if your child is 90+ percentile for *height*, if they're over 50 percentile for weight, you will get the fat kid lecture.

My daughter has been off the charts for height and overing around the top if not off the chart for weight since she was born. Yet I still get the lecture, even though I can point out on the little computerized record display, "Look, she's been 99th percentile in height and 90-97th percentile for weight for the LAST ALMOST-7 YEARS." So honestly, I can understand why some parents might tune it out. I know I certainly do, after I say quite bluntly, "Yes, I know that *I* am fat, but that didn't happen until I was 30, and the kids don't eat compulsively like I do." I take it from the blushes that it normally gets from the doctors that perhaps they are not comfortable with this latest sole measure of obesity either. Or they feel they got caught with their pants down assuming that because I'm fat I'm stupid and/or I spoon lard on my children's Sugar Bomb Cereal washed down with milkshakes or something.

At any rate, I don't post pics of my kids for all the world to see, and I'm not going to post one of DD, but when I have casually mentioned that I was told by her pediatrician that DD falls into the obese category people do double takes and say that they think that she's skinny! Which she certainly looks skinny but the girl is all muscle so apperances are deceiving. She doesn't have any extra fat on her, and she has a nice six-pack and is a very athletic kid.

I personally don't see that many more fat kids around these days than I remember as a child, but the areas where I was raised are NOT known for low fat, low cal cooking so that might have something to do with it.

I wish there were better measures. I think it's a problem in our society in general. But there's more than just the straight weight to consider, and you'd think it wouldn't be too hard to come up with ways to sort this out better.


Just to clarify, _*I*_ don't feel that way about bottle feeding. However with my niece and nephew, yes, I do feel that it is a form of neglect, at least *in their case*.

However, I *know* their story. Just seeing overweight kids does not make me automatically assume that *every.single.solitary.* case of overweight kids is like that in my SIL's family.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:

Back on subject, it's kind of interesting but the pediatricians around here really have a burr up their butts over childhood obesity. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing, but unfortunately they are ONLY basing obesity on the weight percentile at well child visits. Anything above 50 percentile is consider overweight. And you will get a lecture about it. Doesn't matter if your child is 90+ percentile for *height*, if they're over 50 percentile for weight, you will get the fat kid lecture.

This hasn't been my experience. My daughter is over 90% for height, but only 70% for weight, and they classify her as "thin" because her weight percentage is lower than her height percentage.


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint* 
Awww man. I saw the thread title and got so excited hoping there was a thread for us mamas of overweight children to talk about it.







I am so disappointed.

Is there a support-only thread for us here?

I have a "too skinny" daughter, a 100% average son, an overweight son (I won't be posting a picture) and a baby.

My overweight son is 60 pounds at 4 years old. All of our Doctors say "it's just genes, clearly he got some bad ones that the rest of your immediate family didn't get" (dh and I are thin). Or, the classic "he is just going to be a linebacker!", etc.

I appreciate that our Doctors trust the way we feed our kids (healthier than most!), and that they don't think there is a problem, but- my 4 year old has a stretch mark on his belly







(and is far off the charts for his weight). My family of origin has a few morbidly obese people and a lot of us struggle to maintain a healthy weight.

My son appears to be doomed (at 4 years old!) to a life of weight struggles, and I am so sad/worried about that.

I'd love a support thread



















Have you thought of seeing an endocrinologist and looking for insulin sensitivity? Your DS's metabolism may need a different healthy diet than your other LOs.

V


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Violet2* 









Have you thought of seeing an endocrinologist and looking for insulin sensitivity? Your DS's metabolism may need a different healthy diet than your other LOs.

V

At this point, we haven't been referred out, as our Dr. feels that there is no major problem with DS. I agree that he needs a different healthy diet, but am not sure what that means. I should start that other thread and we can talk







. I have to change a diaper first


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

This is a very tough issue with so many variables. I agree with pp that there is something to be said about genetics (I am obese from a family of very thin people. . .my sister is a size 0, my brother was a model, my mom was tiny--never over 110lbs. . .however, my dad was a different story and I have inherited his genes), however, there's also a lot to be said about nutrition and activity. I will admit if I worked out a few hours a day, I could be smaller (I do eat very healthy whole foods). . .I'm just not ready to go there yet. As for overweight or obese children. . .it's really sad how prevalent it is now. My DH has a student, 1st grader, average height, 150lbs and has already begun her period and has type 2 diabetes. She eats every meal out of a box or at the local eatery (total junk food). There have been many meetings with the mom, neglect charges, etc. . .and yet you still see them every day at the eatery for dinner--so sad. I have to admit that because of my issues with weight, I am a little more intense with my children. If it is a non-rainy day, the children are expected to play outside. We try to have many things to them to do outside, we all have bikes, we have a lot of outdoor toys, they both are in active lessons (swimming, gymnastics, dance). One thing here in Japan, activity is a pretty big deal. DD has gym at least 3 days a week for 2-3 periods a day, DS has gym at his school everyday. Every morning at school they both have 30 minutes of stretching exercises (even when there is no school, they are expected to do these exercises everyday). Funny story, the other day I was talking to DD about how I despise cleaning. DD says to me, "But mama, cleaning makes us genki (healthy and full of life)", "exercise makes us healthy and happy mama"--ugh for me but I am happy she's learning the importance of exercise and activity.


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## SimpleBean (Mar 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

your dd doesnt look overweight AT ALL! Maybe someone should define what "over weight" means.

I think of someone who is obese, and it does seem like there are a lot more "obese" kids than I remember when I was growing up (70's & 80's).


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

She is definitely not obese.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Ok... I will admit I'm a little cofuse... where are parents getting juice with corn syrup in it? I'm thinking it must be an American thing because I've seen it mentioned as an ingredient in Juice and pop but I've never seen it on any lables.


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## kewb (May 13, 2005)

My 8 year old dd is off the chart for weight and height. She is solid. She thinks she is fat because her best friend has the waif body type. I have always stressed that healthy eating and exercise are what makes a body healthy. Not what that body weighs. She also compares herself to her totally different body type brother. He is lean and lanky. I hate that I have to have these conversations with her frequently. I hate that she feels bad about her body and I seem to be powerless to do anything about it.

I hate that there are people out their judging my parenting based on my dd. There are so many factors that go into a child being overweight that to blanket call it child abuse saddens me.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

If you are in Canada, it's listed as glucose-fructose (something like that). But it's the exact same thing as high fructose corn syrup.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Still doesn't explain the juice... all the juice I've seen in water and concentrated juice.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
This hasn't been my experience. My daughter is over 90% for height, but only 70% for weight, and they classify her as "thin" because her weight percentage is lower than her height percentage.

Thank goodness it's not national then. I was told that only the weight percentile counts at two different practices. Even though I asked for clarification about the relation between the two or change over time, which makes more logical sense to me.

This is why I thought that perhaps it's a new recommendation, so people have not all got the hang of it. It wouldn't have bothered me much, except they were making comments about obesity and 'fat' with my daughter in the room, and at 5 and 6 body image is starting to be a big deal. Not so much with my kid, but since I'm in my kids' classes a LOT, I have heard other kids make comments about how they're too fat (when they are not) that totally break my heart.

I have no problem with obesity education and resources presented to parents, but considering that we have an EVEN BIGGER problem with horrific body image problems with older kids, teens, and twentysomething...I really wish that pediatricians could make at least some halfhearted attempt at discretion.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

They've been hit with so many things telling them that obesity is THE biggest child health problem in the country (and maybe it is - I don't know) that they're seeing it even where it doesn't exist. It reminds me of when I was in high school and had seasonal allergies and a teacher swore up and down to my parents that I was using drugs because my nose was stuffy and my eyes were red. He'd been warned so much that he saw it everywhere.

As for HFCS and juice, there might be some fake juice drinks, like Hi-Cish stuff (dunno about that specific brand) that have it, but I don't think real juice does. I've seen them called "juice drink cocktails" instead of juice. LOL. They masquerade as juice the way "fruit snacks" are candy masquerading as fruit.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

I've seen HFCS in 'fruit drinks', and some of the cheaper stuff. And in cranberry juice. (I've actually never seen a brand of cranberry juice that wasn't sweetened in some way)

But there are lots of low-cost brands that just have fruit juice concentrate and water in them. Though to be quite honest, it would not suprise me if they added things to the concentrate. I wonder if they'd be required to disclose that.

As an aside, I thought that juice of any kind was supposed to be put into the 'soda' or 'junk food' category anyway. It doesn't have a lot of nutrients unless they're added, and because it's concentrated in a way it's just adding extra calories. I could see its use to gradually get your kid to drink water, by watering it down over time, but...it's just like any other "treat" otherwise.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Yeah, well, for me the difference is that juice is maybe a 1 cup a day drink, and "juice cocktail" with HFCS is a no-amount-at-all drink. LOL.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

In Canada they have to disclose what goes into a part of something (those are added in brackets) so it's just water and juice. All though the cranberry pomegranet juice we have also has apple and few other juices in it.

Also, looked it up the sugar/glucose-fructose can mean sugar, HFCS or a combination of both so I guess that doesn't help...


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Don't understand any type of sweetner in Juice... it's like the time I found a brand of peanut butter with icing sugar in it... Asked my dad who would eat peanut butter with _icing sugar_ in it.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
In Canada they have to disclose what goes into a part of something (those are added in brackets) so it's just water and juice. All though the cranberry pomegranet juice we have also has apple and few other juices in it.

Also, looked it up the sugar/glucose-fructose can mean sugar, HFCS or a combination of both so I guess that doesn't help...

You can get cranberry juice that just uses other sweeter juices to sweeten it, but cranberries are really really tart and there's *something* in there. The cheaper ones probably don't use other juices. But I love cranberry anything and I've bought cranberry juice that is just sweetened with the juice of sweeter fruits too, so I do know it's out there. I've seen it with HFCS too though.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Wow, it's great to come to my favorite site and read that I'm an abusive and neglectful parent because of my son's weight! My 9 year old is definitely overweight, although not quite obese, and it's something I really worry about.

In our case (and, I suspect the case of many overweight kids case) there are a lot of factors that contribute -- among them.

Genetics? DS is adopted, and there's a lot of missing info.

Early history: DS had a structural feeding problem as an infant and toddler and was fed via g-tube on a continous drip. I think this wreaked havoc on his ability to figure out his own needs and get a sense of when he was full. As a toddler if he was hungry he'd refuse to eat -- he didn't get the connection between eating and hunger and putting food in an uncomfortable stomach made no sense to him. In addition, we developed some less than ideal habits -- e.g. when he was finally allowed to start drinking everything he drank had to be thickened -- the only palatable, natural thickeners I could find were sweet (we used applesauce, sweet potatoes, and vanilla yogurt most of the time) so he got accustomed to drinking only sweet things -- it took years for him to be willing to taste water. Also, when he first got rid of the tube his weight fell dramatically -- the doctors gave me a choice between pushing high calorie foods and going back on the tube -- I chose the former, leading to more bad habits.

Activity level: I'd say we get a mixed rating here. On one hand he plays a couple of sports each season, goes to an all day sports camp all summer, and we do things like skiing, going to playground etc . . . on the weekends. On the other hand we live in a tiny apartment, and often get home from work/afterschool care too late to go outside to play. He doesn't have the option of playing outside alone, or doing much active play inside, so if I'm not available to take him somewhere he's pretty sedentary. We also live in the city, and his school's playground is small. It doesn't allow the same kind of nonstop running games I see kids playing in the suburbs.

Asthma: DS has severe allergic asthma. The medications he takes in the fall and spring completely stops his height growth, while increasing his appetite. In addition, his asthma slows him down a fair amount -- so while he still plays soccer, for example, he'll choose to play defense where there's 1/2 as much running so that he doesn't run out of stamina.

Control of food: I make sure he eats a healthy breakfast, pack a healthy lunch and serve a healthy dinner each day -- but he gets snacks at school and aftercare, and is allowed to trade at lunch, also he spends a lot of time at friends houses and gets more snacks and unhealthy meals there too.

Even though I worry about his weight, the worry doesn't tell me what to do -- I feel like I'm constantly facing choices where I don't know what to choose.

e.g. Today I made him whole wheat pancakes -- do I make them with applesauce (low fat, but higher carb) instead of oil? Do I cook them in lots of butter (some people say that saturated fats leave you feeling full longer and lead to weight loss) or a zero calorie spray (low fat but too many chemicals?) I ended up choosing the applesauce and the tiniest amount of canola oil, partially because I was serving them with a couple of slices of bacon (back to that study on saturated fat).

Also making dinner tonight what do I do about fruit and vegetables? Put them on his plate and make him eat it? (clean plate club is bad right, but eating veggies is good?) put them out and let him help himself, knowing he'll eat less? I ended up serving a big bowl of frozen blueberries as an "appetizer" know I'd get more into him whe he was hungry, and then put out a big plateful of raw veggies and told him I wanted him to eat some, but it was up to him which ones -- he chose a bunch of carrots. The strategy seemed to work in that he didn't ask for seconds on dinner, or a snack later in the evening.

Do I tell him he's prohibited from eating the school snack or trading at lunch? If I do am I making him feel judged due to his weight and creating "forbidden fruit" or am I building healthy habits?

His best friend invites him over several times a week, and the playdate often includes dinner of chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, but also a ride to soccer practice (which I couldn't get him to without it) and time to play actively in their big backyard -- a worthwhile trade off?

None of this is easy, and I watch parents of naturally skinny kids making similar choices and not being judged at all.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Unfortunately the media among other things has convinced society as a whole that the only people who are overweight are the lazy, food obsessed individuals with no sense of self control.









Health is more important then weight and one doesn't dictate the other.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Ok... I will admit I'm a little cofuse... where are parents getting juice with corn syrup in it? I'm thinking it must be an American thing because I've seen it mentioned as an ingredient in Juice and pop but I've never seen it on any lables.

Sadly round here its pretty wasy to find most like juice box drinks have it may fruit juices have it things like sunny D and such often considered by many as "good" has it while its not really hard to find ones that don't if your not carefull it can be in a lot.

Deanna


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
Asthma: DS has severe allergic asthma. The medications he takes in the fall and spring completely stops his height growth, while increasing his appetite. In addition, his asthma slows him down a fair amount -- so while he still plays soccer, for example, he'll choose to play defense where there's 1/2 as much running so that he doesn't run out of stamina.

.

The oral steroids he's taking also change his insulin response to food so he's more likely to gain weight as well as not gain height. My personal feeling on the inhaled steroids (i.e. Flovent or combo meds like Advair) is that even the inhaled steroids have some kind of impact on appetite and insulin and weight. You may want to look at a higher protein, lower carb diet (berries instead of bananas, no bread or pasta, lots of veggies and good proteins).

ETA: I'm a veteran asthmatic.

V


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
Thank goodness it's not national then. I was told that only the weight percentile counts at two different practices. Even though I asked for clarification about the relation between the two or change over time, which makes more logical sense to me.

We have not had a lecture either and DD has been 100%+ for height and weight since five months.

V


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:

As an aside, I thought that juice of any kind was supposed to be put into the 'soda' or 'junk food' category anyway. It doesn't have a lot of nutrients unless they're added, and because it's concentrated in a way it's just adding extra calories. I could see its use to gradually get your kid to drink water, by watering it down over time, but...it's just like any other "treat" otherwise.
True very true at the same time then add in all the other low cost "hidden" junk that many wont really realize they are buying so called whole wheat breads, "whole grain cereals" canned fruits and such that many many good parents look to getting as "better" alternitives to say cheetos to pop tarts but that are still loaded with soo much junk.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Violet2* 
The oral steroids he's taking also change his insulin response to food so he's more likely to gain weight as well as not gain height. My personal feeling on the inhaled steroids (i.e. Flovent or combo meds like Advair) is that even the inhaled steroids have some kind of impact on appetite and insulin and weight. You may want to look at a higher protein, lower carb diet (berries instead of bananas, no bread or pasta, lots of veggies and good proteins).

ETA: I'm a veteran asthmatic.

V

Thanks!

He's actually only on inhaled steroids now (he was on oral non stop for the first two years and tracked below the 3rd percentile -- when he came off he started growing) but they still have a dramatic effect -- he literally completely stops growing up when he's on Flovent. I do think he "catches up" when he stops but the result is that by the end of allergy season he's looking pretty overweight while he waits for his height to catch up.

I do feed him on the low carb side -- we do lots of berries and canteloupe and not much other fruit, lots of lower carb veggies, but also a couple of servings of whole grain a day -- usually soaked or sprouted, although the pancakes were neither. He also gets a couple of servings of refined grain most days because of snack at school (sigh). I've heard that going really low carb in unhealthy for kids -- any thoughts on that?


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
True very true at the same time then add in all the other low cost "hidden" junk that many wont really realize they are buying so called whole wheat breads, "whole grain cereals" canned fruits and such that many many good parents look to getting as "better" alternitives to say cheetos to pop tarts but that are still loaded with soo much junk.

I agree. For years people have been told to look for whole grains and whole wheat, yet store bought "multigrain" or "whole wheat" with rare exceptions almost always includes HFCS. Though I've noticed that even some big brands like orowheat have specific breads that are advertised as HFCS-free, and those are the ONLY ones offered by that brand that are.

Avoiding HFCS (which I can't have due to its inflammatory properties) has really been the drive for me to bake my own bread, make me own jams, home-make a lot of stuff. Luckily I'm good at finding super easy lazy ways to do it. I can understand why people get totally overwhelmed though. If you truly want to avoid some of the nastier additives in our food supply, a lot of people really are going to have to go out of their way if they don't want to go 100 percent raw. And it's easier for someone like me, a homemaker who has a nice flow of income, to say "well, if they REALLY cared then they'd do it," but I know that's BS. I had a lot of help to pick up the skillset and confidence to be able to do scratch cooking and where to find hidden ingredients, where I can find a convenient number of HFCS-free foods, ect.

I think this is why when people are dismissive about how difficult it can be for some folks it puts a big burr up MY behind. I know lots of people who are overwhelmed, strapped for time, and theyr'e not stupid. And this is in the Seattle area which has a WEALTH of resources and access to good, safe food!! I can imagine how difficult it would be in an area that has less choice or less mainstream awareness.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

It just seems like there is always an excuse. Of course if your child is overweight, you are going to come up with all sorts of reasons why it isnt your fault, right? The thing is, that there never seems to be a parent with an overweight child that says "yes. you know what? I do not feed my child the way I should, they are unhealthy, and I as the parent should put a stop to it". A child being overweight being caused by something other than not enough excercise vs too much calories is just not as likely as their parents would like to think. Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, there are medical and genetic factors. But instead of struggling over whether or not to put oil or applesauce in pancakes, why not just skip the pancakes for something else altogether?


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
It just seems like there is always an excuse. Of course if your child is overweight, you are going to come up with all sorts of reasons why it isnt your fault, right? The thing is, that there never seems to be a parent with an overweight child that says "yes. you know what? I do not feed my child the way I should, they are unhealthy, and I as the parent should put a stop to it". A child being overweight being caused by something other than not enough excercise vs too much calories is just not as likely as their parents would like to think. Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, there are medical and genetic factors. But instead of struggling over whether or not to put oil or applesauce in pancakes, why not just skip the pancakes for something else altogether?

Wow

OK, tell me what to feed my child, because other than vegetables (and my child eats plenty of vegetables, but no one lives on only vegetables) I can't find any consensus on what kids should be eating (yes, there's agreement on some things not to eat -- foods like Coke and Ice Cream and french fries, but that's not what my kid eats).

Seriously -- fruit? I've already seen a post here telling me I shouldn't feed bananas (which we don't because he doesn't like them), whole grains -- I've been told many times that all grains are evil, and equally many times that they're essential. Protein? Fat? There's disagreement about everyone.

So, yes, tonight my child ate pancakes made with whole wheat flour, applesauce, egg, skim milk and a tiny bit of canola oil, along with a bunch of vegetables a bowlful of blueberries, a small portion of meat and a couple of glasses of water -- and therefore because of that it's clearly all my fault and I'm a bad parent.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
Wow

OK, tell me what to feed my child, because other than vegetables (and my child eats plenty of vegetables, but no one lives on only vegetables) I can't find any consensus on what kids should be eating (yes, there's agreement on some things not to eat -- foods like Coke and Ice Cream and french fries, but that's not what my kid eats).

Seriously -- fruit? I've already seen a post here telling me I shouldn't feed bananas (which we don't because he doesn't like them), whole grains -- I've been told many times that all grains are evil, and equally many times that they're essential. Protein? Fat? There's disagreement about everyone.

So, yes, tonight my child ate pancakes made with whole wheat flour, applesauce, egg, skim milk and a tiny bit of canola oil, along with a bunch of vegetables a bowlful of blueberries, a small portion of meat and a couple of glasses of water -- and therefore because of that it's clearly all my fault and I'm a bad parent.


That sounds like a great meal to me. What's wrong with pancakes and applesauce? Clearly I'm missing something...


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## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I was a fat child and am a fat adult, and now I have children who are on the chunky side, so when you talk about fat people deserving what they get and being child abusers, please keep in mind you are talking about people who share the site here with you. *I would be interested in talking about sure-fire ways to get my children to eat healthy foods without basically telling them they have to go hungry when they hate the food I make*. This happens almost on a daily basis, and I struggle with what to make for them, and they eat things that are less than optimal.

I really like Dr. Sears L.E.A.N. Kids program. http://www.drsearslean.com/ I have been using it as a basic way to teach my kids to stay healthy. The L is Lifestyle, the E is Exercise. The A is Attitude and the N is nutrition. We aren't perfect eaters but we are working as a family to be better. My kids aren't overweight--but I think they need to learn about nutrition and exercise too. Afterall, someday they will be doing the shopping and making the decisions. By taking baby steps (instead of trying to be perfect overnight) we have come a long way in having a very healthy lifestyle.

Amy


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
It just seems like there is always an excuse. Of course if your child is overweight, you are going to come up with all sorts of reasons why it isnt your fault, right? The thing is, that there never seems to be a parent with an overweight child that says "yes. you know what? I do not feed my child the way I should, they are unhealthy, and I as the parent should put a stop to it". A child being overweight being caused by something other than not enough excercise vs too much calories is just not as likely as their parents would like to think. Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, there are medical and genetic factors. But instead of struggling over whether or not to put oil or applesauce in pancakes, why not just skip the pancakes for something else altogether?

So who is the "you" you're talking about? I haven't seen the people with overweight kids in this thread dickering about what to put in their kid's pancakes. Perhaps I missed something, though, It's been known to happen.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

With the pancake comment she's specifically referring to a post where I mentioned that it's not always easy to know what the best choice is, and gave as example not being sure whether to make whole wheat pancakes with applesauce (therefore less calories) or oil (therefore more filling).


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## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

"Back on subject, it's kind of interesting but the pediatricians around here really have a burr up their butts over childhood obesity. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing, but unfortunately they are ONLY basing obesity on the weight percentile at well child visits. Anything above 50 percentile is consider overweight. And you will get a lecture about it. Doesn't matter if your child is 90+ percentile for *height*, if they're over 50 percentile for weight, you will get the fat kid lecture."

Thank goodness for out pediatrician---he is very real about this. Even when my kids were totally OFF the chart he said they were proportionate and not to worry. I am sorry for you mamas that deal with crummy peds!


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
Thanks







: She's so solid I cannot lift her without putting my back out, lol! DS is a few inches taller and about 15-20lbs lighter; same family, different body types. It just kind of hurts that many think that just because a child is very overweight, it is akin to child abuse. FTR, we're very low income and we don't have WIC/food stamps here, but I make healthy eating a priority.

I don't understand why you have come to the conclusion that your daughter is fat. Is it just the scale that you are going by? It sounds (and looks) like she is just muscular. Do you really think that other people think she is obese?


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AAK* 
"Back on subject, it's kind of interesting but the pediatricians around here really have a burr up their butts over childhood obesity. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing, but unfortunately they are ONLY basing obesity on the weight percentile at well child visits. Anything above 50 percentile is consider overweight. And you will get a lecture about it. Doesn't matter if your child is 90+ percentile for *height*, if they're over 50 percentile for weight, you will get the fat kid lecture."

Well, that's just weird and non-sensical. My DD is over the top for height (100 and some percentile) and around 85th percentile for weight. She's skinny!


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## Annalisa84 (Nov 18, 2008)

My 3-year-old is "overweight". She's 19.5 kilos (43 lbs), which is the 95th percentile. She's also 43 inches tall--also 95th percentile. She doesn't look overweight, but she looks like a 4 or 5 year old


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Annalisa84* 
My 3-year-old is "overweight". She's 19.5 kilos (43 lbs), which is the 95th percentile. She's also 43 inches tall--also 95th percentile. She doesn't look overweight, but she looks like a 4 or 5 year old









That is not overweight. Overweight is when you weigh more than what you should given your height. Obesity is when you weigh one-third more than what you should weigh given your height.


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## Labyrinth (Apr 14, 2008)

Advising a parent to restrict a child's nutrition is not the right thing to do. Period. Children, even obese children, need fats, carbohydrates, fiber, protein, vitamins, and minerals. Putting a child on a restrictive weight loss diet can trigger eating disorders, which can be deadly.

Bananas are healthy. As are whole grains. Children need nutrition and activity. If a child is active and eating a healthy diet that child should naturally gravitate towards their natural weight. Some children will be skinny, and others will be chubby. That's OK!

Clearly no child should be fed a diet comprised mostly of junk foods and fast foods. Some families simply do not have access to healthy foods. I lived on the south side of Chicago, in some areas the closest grocery store was a forty five minute ride on public transportation plus a mile or more walk, both ways. (please google "food deserts") Where I live currently, if you don't have a car and you work 9-5, you simply do not have access to a grocery store. Public transit only runs Monday-Friday during the work day. So low income working families might live off of convenient store food for weeks at a time, which often consists of white bread, canned spaghetti, ham 'n cheese loaf, and other low nutrient foods.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
It just seems like there is always an excuse. Of course if your child is overweight, you are going to come up with all sorts of reasons why it isnt your fault, right? The thing is, that there never seems to be a parent with an overweight child that says "yes. you know what? I do not feed my child the way I should, they are unhealthy, and I as the parent should put a stop to it". A child being overweight being caused by something other than not enough excercise vs too much calories is just not as likely as their parents would like to think. Yes, there are always exceptions. Yes, there are medical and genetic factors. But instead of struggling over whether or not to put oil or applesauce in pancakes, why not just skip the pancakes for something else altogether?

I think this post illustrates nicely why a support thread is pretty necessary. Then the folks who seem to feel that some kind of excuse is needed can get together and kvetch about my kid's theoretical lack of a good diet and lack of access to exercise, and I could talk to some folks who know what a crock that is.

Where should the support thread go y'all?

Oh, and ice cream is a relatively low glycemic food, momily. So not the worst choice in the world.


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## tinybutterfly (May 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Labyrinth* 
Advising a parent to restrict a child's nutrition is not the right thing to do. Period. Children, even obese children, need fats, carbohydrates, fiber, protein, vitamins, and minerals. Putting a child on a restrictive weight loss diet can trigger eating disorders, which can be deadly.


Thank you for mentioning this! I read this whole thread and this is the first mention, unless I missed one, about triggering eating disorders.

I'll be back. Gotta run my kid to school. And no he can't walk there. It's WAY too far away, no sidewalks, not safe...etc.

Be back later.


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
Thanks!

He's actually only on inhaled steroids now (he was on oral non stop for the first two years and tracked below the 3rd percentile -- when he came off he started growing) but they still have a dramatic effect -- he literally completely stops growing up when he's on Flovent. I do think he "catches up" when he stops but the result is that by the end of allergy season he's looking pretty overweight while he waits for his height to catch up.

I do feed him on the low carb side -- we do lots of berries and canteloupe and not much other fruit, lots of lower carb veggies, but also a couple of servings of whole grain a day -- usually soaked or sprouted, although the pancakes were neither. He also gets a couple of servings of refined grain most days because of snack at school (sigh). I've heard that going really low carb in unhealthy for kids -- any thoughts on that?

I am no expert, but have experienced a lot with asthma and steroid side effects. I will share what I think I know.

It sounds like your DS is sensitive to the steroids (although I am not sure how common his situation is) but to have the inhaled affect him is a red flag for me. So I would believe that his insulin is definitely messed up and he may be having problems absorbing vitamins (be sure he's getting some supplements like B vitamins which are essential for energy production. Also calcium and other minerals which should all be taken as far away from the steroid dose as possible to maximize absorption).

Lower carb is probably ideal, but not without a lot of reading and studying and education on your part because you don't want him to be on a weight loss diet, simply a diet that works well with his metabolic challenges. I would maybe look at the South Beach books for ideas but be careful to avoid a weight loss diet. Look more at the combinations of proteins and veggies/fruits.

Unfortunately, I have not seen any books or resources specific to nutrition in the face of steroids. So you will kind of have to read the low carb stuff and sift and filter for the nuggets that will actually help your DS. Most doctors do not really pay attention to the side effects and don't provide nutritional counseling (which is so negligent imo). Frex, did you know that prednisone interferes with calcium uptake in the cells and can cause all sorts of contraction issues with muscles? Grrr. This is the kind of stuff they don't tell you! Which would be kind of nice to know! I myself now taking daily calcium supplements along with magnesium and potassium to compensate for this.

Personally, I would also avoid grains (rice, bread, potato) as much as possible, but that's a personal preference. And I would try to find a good nutritionist and endocrinologist to consult with, but ime that will take some digging. And again, you kind of have to do some homework so you can filter out bad advice. Plus, your DS will need to understand his metabolic situation so he is onboard with avoiding simple carbs. I suspect, his body will be affected by the steroids long term as that has been the case for me.

HTH
V


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chfriend* 
Where should the support thread go y'all?

Oh, and ice cream is a relatively low glycemic food, momily. So not the worst choice in the world.

Probably nutrition.

RE: Ice cream--I make chocolate mousse and freeze it as 'ice cream'. Very low glycemic, especially if you use a dark chocolate. Yum!

V


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## Kirstyandgirls (Nov 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bwylde* 
There are parents who feed their child healthy and they are still overweight. My poor DD has terrible genetics. She is an extremely healthy eater yet she nearly 70lbs at 4 (she is also just over 4 feet tall). She runs, plays and whatnot without getting out of breath, she's in dance classes, dancersize, ect... The doctor said not to worry about it since she eats very healthy and gets lots of exercise. I am not going to starve her or deprive her of the good healthy food she does eat (or stop her from nursing) so she will fit into a model that society thinks is normal.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Q26qzzetkG...h/IMG_3101.JPG

Your daughter is gorgeous and looks perfectly healthy. By whose standards is she over weight?

There are parents who feed there children really badly and if they've been given support to change but do not then i definatly think it is abuse.

I live in the uk and not so long ago there was a news story about a family who had their dog removed by court order because it was obese and the still fed it junk food....a dog! And yet children are left with parents who won't fed them properly!

Part of being a good mother is feeding your children the best possible food and if my child was an unhealthy weight i would learn how to fed them better.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

The reason I know the problem isn't simply that people are feeding their kids the wrong stuff or not getting their kids enough exercise, is because I know several families with one or two skinny kids and one overweight kid, where the kids all eat the same stuff and have the same level of activity. There's obviously something else going on.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

Thanks Violet, that's really helpful. South Beach is pretty close to how we eat, although I feed him more like Stage 3 (the maintainance stage), it definitely keeps the issue from getting worse. I've thought about going grain free for him (I'm pretty much grain free), but he seems to develop problems associated with lack of magnesium (e.g. constipation, body odor) when I get rid of the whole grains in his diet. I know I could supplement the magnesium but I wonder if there are other micronutrients he's missing too. One reason I do the sprouted grains with him is that I think it makes more of those nutrients available so he can eat less with the same results.

And yes, I'd love a support thread -- although I worry that we'd be able to keep other people off, and keep away the people who want to preach to us and call us "abusive". I'm not so sure how much of that I can take.

As to the ice cream, I just had to laugh -- I think it's a good example of how different people define healthy so differently that we've now had disagreement on this thread about whether whole grain pancakes, ice cream, and bananas are healthy choices for children (and yet when I mentioned the couple of slices of bacon that I served alongside the pancakes noone blinked an eye).


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## dachshund mom (Dec 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
The reason I know the problem isn't simply that people are feeding their kids the wrong stuff or not getting their kids enough exercise, is because I know several families with one or two skinny kids and one overweight kid, where the kids all eat the same stuff and have the same level of activity. There's obviously something else going on.


Sometimes different kids need to eat different types foods. I was the overweight child with three skinny siblings (mom is obese and dad is skinny) and we all ate the same foods. It wasn't until I left for college and could choose my own diet that all the weight naturally came off. Turns out I can't handle any sugar and need to limit carbs, which should have been obvious considering all the diabetics on my mom's side. While I appreciate that my parents never treated me differently, I would have had a much happier childhood if we could have figured out a better diet for me at a younger age.

Not sure how you would go about doing that though...


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## ameliabedelia (Sep 24, 2002)

I would love a support-only thread too. My dd1 is overweight, obese even by the charts. My other daughter is avg-weight...even on the small side. They are both fed the same foods, both get the same opportunities for activity (we homeschool...so they ARE doing all the same things, for the most part), and both get the same level of (limited) screen time (max. of 30-45 minutes/day). Both were breastfed until over 3 years of age, never got bottles, never were spoon-fed, never in the clean-plate club. We eat mostly healthy...lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats. However, yes they do get some junk..they attend birthday parties and Christmas parties, occasionally we might have fast food. However, their diets are the same, and I would say they are better than the majority of most children. They don't get any juice, sweets only on Sundays or occasional parties, no chips (or things like that) on a regular basis, lots of organic food and natural foods (I read label carefully to avoid things like HFCS and trans-fats).

I really hate this notion that parents of overweight children have this *greater* responsiblity for our child's weight or to feed them healthy...like we should deprive our kids of attending birthday parties or holiday parties or popcorn during the (rare) movie because they are overweight. My children eat healthier than the majority of most children, they get lots of opportunity for activity and exercise and much less screen (TV and computer) time then most other children. One is overweight and one is avg. to thin (and so far the baby is on the 'lean' side as well.)

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ameliabedelia* 
I would love a support-only thread too. My dd1 is overweight, obese even by the charts. My other daughter is avg-weight...even on the small side. They are both fed the same foods, both get the same opportunities for activity (we homeschool...so they ARE doing all the same things, for the most part), and both get the same level of (limited) screen time (max. of 30-45 minutes/day). Both were breastfed until over 3 years of age, never got bottles, never were spoon-fed, never in the clean-plate club. We eat mostly healthy...lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains, lean meats. However, yes they do get some junk..they attend birthday parties and Christmas parties, occasionally we might have fast food. However, their diets are the same, and I would say they are better than the majority of most children. They don't get any juice, sweets only on Sundays or occasional parties, no chips (or things like that) on a regular basis, lots of organic food and natural foods (I read label carefully to avoid things like HFCS and trans-fats).

*I really hate this notion that parents of overweight children have this *greater* responsiblity for our child's weight or to feed them healthy...like we should deprive our kids of attending birthday parties or holiday parties or popcorn during the (rare) movie because they are overweight.* My children eat healthier than the majority of most children, they get lots of opportunity for activity and exercise and much less screen (TV and computer) time then most other children. One is overweight and one is avg. to thin (and so far the baby is on the 'lean' side as well.)

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.


Who said that? (re: bolded part)

I feel that I have a responsibility, as a parent, to do my very best to ensure that my children eat decent foods, and that they are healthy.

IMHO, all parents have this responsibility. No matter if their kids are overweight, or not.

*However*, there is nothing wrong with treats, regardless of your weight.


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## tinybutterfly (May 31, 2004)

I just deleted my reply.

I am going to think about this for awhile before I do reply.

I would like to say, though, that I find it sad that there is so much judgement based on other peoples weight, their childrens weight, what people eat or don't eat...

I am just not sure how to approach this topic, so I will wait awhile before I respond.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *octobermom* 
Then there is the other side. Now I wont touch the extremes but the general 5-15% overweight we see a lot can also be dirrectly linked to poor diet but also low income. I now personally as a low income family we went through many times where great or even good nurtution was next to impossible when I relled on pasta and potatos to feed my family and frankly those pack on the lbs. I'm not talking cheetos and soda and twinkies. but when your relaying on a food pantry provisons so your finding your choices as Mac N cheese instant potatos tuna canned green beans corn and peas pasta (tons of pasta) and wic provisions.. you make do and sadly often the body rebells. I tink there are a lot of "bad" choices that can contrubute parents who are feeding a lot of junk and by choice kids stuck in front of the TV all day ect but I also feel that nothing is black and white.

Deanna

this.








we grew up on food pantry and wic. the food is terrible. add to it my mom's inability to afford decent childcare and we were junk eating, never outside overweight kids. we actually got thinner when we became latch-key. at least then we could go outside.

i also notice now in my own weight...even though we don't eat like that at all anymore...that when we have to cut back on the grocery bill and i'm packing rice and beans and potatoes into the cart, we gain weight. me more than my husband, unfortunately.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

A support thread so as not to further de-rail this vent thread








http://www.mothering.com/discussions...9#post12756279


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
Wow

OK, tell me what to feed my child, because other than vegetables (and my child eats plenty of vegetables, but no one lives on only vegetables) I can't find any consensus on what kids should be eating (yes, there's agreement on some things not to eat -- foods like Coke and Ice Cream and french fries, but that's not what my kid eats).

Seriously -- fruit? I've already seen a post here telling me I shouldn't feed bananas (which we don't because he doesn't like them), whole grains -- I've been told many times that all grains are evil, and equally many times that they're essential. Protein? Fat? There's disagreement about everyone.

So, yes, tonight my child ate pancakes made with whole wheat flour, applesauce, egg, skim milk and a tiny bit of canola oil, along with a bunch of vegetables a bowlful of blueberries, a small portion of meat and a couple of glasses of water -- and therefore because of that it's clearly all my fault and I'm a bad parent.

Sounds like way too many calories to me. As in... this is too large of a portion.


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## JesseMomme (Apr 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amylcd* 
If you're getting your food from a food pantry, or only have a small amount of money to use for food, you are _not_ going to have organic milk to pour on that cereal.









:


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## Mummer (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peppermint* 
Awww man. I saw the thread title and got so excited hoping there was a thread for us mamas of overweight children to talk about it.







I am so disappointed.

Is there a support-only thread for us here?

I have a "too skinny" daughter, a 100% average son, an overweight son (I won't be posting a picture) and a baby.

My overweight son is 60 pounds at 4 years old. All of our Doctors say "it's just genes, clearly he got some bad ones that the rest of your immediate family didn't get" (dh and I are thin). Or, the classic "he is just going to be a linebacker!", etc.

I appreciate that our Doctors trust the way we feed our kids (healthier than most!), and that they don't think there is a problem, but- my 4 year old has a stretch mark on his belly







(and is far off the charts for his weight). My family of origin has a few morbidly obese people and a lot of us struggle to maintain a healthy weight.

My son appears to be doomed (at 4 years old!) to a life of weight struggles, and I am so sad/worried about that.

I'd love a support thread









Peppermint, Here's your support!!!

I have an extremely thin 9 year old daughter... extremely (less than 5% body fat) and a strapping 12 year old son. My son, up until 2 years ago, was one of the "bigger" kids... he was called "meaty", "big-boned", "chubby"... and yes, played on the Offensive Line in youth football because of his size. In the school screenings, he was "at risk for obesity" for years. But all along, his pediatrian told me "don't worry... he's going to grow and all of that is going to be spread out and his body is going to need it". And lo and behold... at 10 years old, he started to grow up, in height, and it DID re-proportion and he did slim down a bit. He's still one of the "bigger" kids, but its because he IS big, and big-boned and meaty... but definitely not chubby... just big. And now he plays tight-end on the football team, not that football is the end all, be all.

Anyway... I feed my son and my daughter the same food... proteins, fruits and veggies and yes, carbs because they need it at their age. BUT... you would think that they eat at two different dinner tables because you can count my daughter's ribs just by looking at her back, and my son is so big, I lose circulation when he sits on my lap.

My son has evolved into a strong, healthy, intelligent, funny little man... and yes, he's still big. My daughter is a funny, humorous, healthy and active little girl. My hope is that I can put a few more pounds on her before puberty because I know that is very important... but my kids' weight neither defines them nor does it define what they can or should do in life. They both play youth lacrosse, he plays football and she is a cheerleader, they both play basketball.

Was I worried about my son being fat? I suppose I was... but it all evened out. Am I worried about my daughter being under weight? I suppose I am, but I'll worry more when she is inactive or disinterested in activities or becomes sickly... until then, I'm not going to worry.

So


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## mandib50 (Oct 26, 2004)

i find this topic so interesting. i have 4 kids, and my 2nd is chubby, mostly in the last 2 years he started putting on some fat. it has definitely been a challenge for me. my own thoughts about food are to eat mainly healthy, nutritious foods, to stop eating when you are full and to get plenty of exercise. that being said, we do eat homebaked goods, but i make sure that our diet is well-balanced and we fill up a lot on fruits and vegetables.

i feel so sad for my son. he notices that he is chubby, and he makes negative comments about it







his dad (my ex) is borderline obese and so i am not sure if my son is chubby because of genetics (but then i am not so sure because ds has not always been chubby), and also partly because he loves to eat so much and eats more than he needs too. i struggle because i don't want to pick at my son for the amount of food he eats, yet, i don't want to see him struggle with feeling "fat" in a family where we are all thin









i do think that childhood obesity is an issue, but i blame it alot on our cultural ideas about food.


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
Thanks Violet, that's really helpful. South Beach is pretty close to how we eat, although I feed him more like Stage 3 (the maintainance stage), it definitely keeps the issue from getting worse. I've thought about going grain free for him (I'm pretty much grain free), but he seems to develop problems associated with lack of magnesium (e.g. constipation, body odor) when I get rid of the whole grains in his diet. I know I could supplement the magnesium but I wonder if there are other micronutrients he's missing too. One reason I do the sprouted grains with him is that I think it makes more of those nutrients available so he can eat less with the same results.

And yes, I'd love a support thread -- although I worry that we'd be able to keep other people off, and keep away the people who want to preach to us and call us "abusive". I'm not so sure how much of that I can take.

As to the ice cream, I just had to laugh -- I think it's a good example of how different people define healthy so differently that we've now had disagreement on this thread about whether whole grain pancakes, ice cream, and bananas are healthy choices for children (and yet when I mentioned the couple of slices of bacon that I served alongside the pancakes noone blinked an eye).

Nuts I believe have magnesium. Also, he may still need a supplement. I am taking almost 1000mg a day and still sometimes test low and have problems with my muscles (I am 'lucky' enough to have long term muscle issues from oral steroids). You can overdose on magnesium, so I wouldn't do more than a small supplement without a doctor testing his blood levels. But it really helps, especially in combination with the calcium.

Also, steroids can inhibit so much absorption of vitamins that the body can completely work through its stores of B vitamins and other nutrients, so DS may be having problems all around. The steroids wreaking havoc on the insulin and then the micronutrient depletion that could be driving him to eat even after the oral steroids are done.

I would suggest reading more and different low carb books. Also Dr. Eades has a good blog and this blog Weight of the Evidence is really good too. Living the Low Carb Life is out of print but still available used and is an excellent, non-diet plan specific, primer on Low Carb (although it does focus on weight loss).

V


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

Some people have cr[email protected] metabolism. Dsd has the slowest metabolism in the world. I've seen her decide she's full after eating just a few bites of food, and she often passes on sweets to eat fruit or veggies. She's the chubby one.









Ds, on the other hand, has my (usual) metabolism. Eats nonstop, anything he wants, and is a stick, all arms and legs. In my family, nobody gains weight until middle age, and even then it usually only happens if they come down with one of the illnesses that run in the family and tend to crop up around that time.







I've seen my own weight fluctuate as much as 30 pounds up or down in a week from my illness, even though that's not supposed to be possible. I've gone to bed one night and gotten up unable to fit into my clothing the next morning. Exercise and diet makes no difference for me at all, it just depends on what my health is doing. When I'm sick, I blow up like a balloon whether I eat or not. When I'm not, my weight stabilizes and I can eat like a horse.







It's that way for everyone in my family. Plus, after learning about how many people have undiagnosed hypothryoidism for years before they find out, I never look at someone who is heavy and assume they just eat too much. My aunt actually lost _over 100 pounds of fluid weight_ when they put her on thyroid medication after being sick for years, and I'm sure people looked at her and thought she sat around eating oreos.







: She died young anyway because she was diagnosed too late and all the associated problems from thyroid weight gain killed her. But what really killed her was ignorant doctors who kept telling her she ate too much instead of listening to her when she said _I'm tired, I don't feel well, my hair's falling out, I have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism._ *All they saw was a fat woman who they thought ate too much.*









Of my two children, I would say Dsd is far more active, yet she is the one who is heavier, and she has better eating habits. That doesn't make any sense. It just _is._ You can't armchair quarterback someone else's weight issues until you've lived it, because it just isn't as simple as 'eat less, exercise more' in the real world.


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ameliabedelia* 

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.

I don't see the chubby/budda baby at 6mths as any indication of future problems at all.
Both my boys were huge babies, both hit 20lbs well before a year and neither one ever did roll, they were butterballs.
Yet now one is close to 6 feet and 140lbs skin and bone and eats like a horse.
The other is 5'10" and 190lbs and has the round chubby cheeks he's always had, he's his Dad to a tee.
Yet both were within ounces of each other throughout the first 1 to 1.5 years in their baby books.


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## tsalagimama (Nov 11, 2007)

I usually just lurk, instead of posting, but I had to comment here.

It really offends me that people consider overweight children to be abused simply because they are. Often, the parents do the best they can, but our food system is set up where only the rich can afford fruits, vegetables, and fish on a regular basis.

My sister was very overweight as a child. My brother and I were gangly. My mother was a drug addict, and my father worked constantly, so neither one could cook for us. I learned to cook when I was six, using the microwave to make mashed potatoes, canned peas and carrots, hot dogs, chicken fingers, etc. When I was seven, I was able to pull a stool to the stove and make spaghetti, eggs, etc. However, I only cooked one meal a day. For breakfast, my father would take us to McDonald's for biscuits, and lunch was a frozen McDonald's biscuit, since it was cheaper than school.

I know my dad did all he could, and I do not consider my sister's weight to be an indication of child abuse. We were loved, and that's what counts.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tsalagimama* 
I usually just lurk, instead of posting, but I had to comment here.

It really offends me that people consider overweight children to be abused simply because they are. Often, the parents do the best they can, but our food system is set up where only the rich can afford fruits, vegetables, and fish on a regular basis.

My sister was very overweight as a child. My brother and I were gangly. My mother was a drug addict, and my father worked constantly, so neither one could cook for us. I learned to cook when I was six, using the microwave to make mashed potatoes, canned peas and carrots, hot dogs, chicken fingers, etc. When I was seven, I was able to pull a stool to the stove and make spaghetti, eggs, etc. However, I only cooked one meal a day. For breakfast, my father would take us to McDonald's for biscuits, and lunch was a frozen McDonald's biscuit, since it was cheaper than school.

I know my dad did all he could, and I do not consider my sister's weight to be an indication of child abuse. We were loved, and that's what counts.


Your dad did his best. That is a totally different thing.

What about a family, like my SIL's, where money is not an issue? Where there is no poverty? Where two lovely children are so big that they cannot run and play as they want to, like other kids?

Some of you seem to assume that I hate SIL and those kids. Or that I ridicule them. I assure you that *none* of that is true. I am kind and loving toward my niece and nephew. I have never uttered a single negative thing to them or even to my SIL or BIL. But, I am not going to lie on this board and say that I think it is okay and fine that two beautiful children seem so unfit and seem to suffer so much. You haven't seen them. You haven't heard them talk about it. I have.

I know that there are healthy people who are big. I have never had a health issue, and I am big. No diabetes, high b/p or anything else. (I am trying to lose weight, so I can be more comfortable and active with my kids.)

I am sure that there are those who automatically assume that a big child is neglected and/or abused. I don't, as I said before. I just happen to know about my SIL's situation, personally. With anyone else, I wouldn't dare assume that I know a darn thing.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I don't think the parents are always to blame when there is an overweight child. Sure, sometimes they are, but I think for the most part, parents do try very hard to feed their kids well.

Quote:

As to the ice cream, I just had to laugh -- I think it's a good example of how different people define healthy so differently that we've now had disagreement on this thread about whether whole grain pancakes, ice cream, and bananas are healthy choices for children (and yet when I mentioned the couple of slices of bacon that I served alongside the pancakes noone blinked an eye).
I wish I could convince even 1 person that fat is not bad. Every body needs fat. But good fat. I personally feel that ice cream is fine. We don't avoid grains, so whole wheat is a regular for us. And what's up with bananas? I obviously missed that.

Quote:

Looking back, I can see how dd1 and dd2 showed indications of their future weight/size back as young as 6 months (when they were both exclusively breastfed) (dd1 was very chubby, late to roll over, crawl and walk, very placid baby.....dd2,very active, early to crawl and early to walk and a leaner baby). The difference between them is almost 100% genetics.
I don't know. My oldest is skinny. Just as skinny as he could be. He crawled at 6 months, walked at 9 and only weighed just over 6 pounds at birth. His little brother, crawled at 7 months and walked at 10 and weighed 7 1/2 pounds. And he's a chunk now at 2 1/2.

Quote:

I now personally as a low income family we went through many times where great or even good nurtution was next to impossible when I relled on pasta and potatos to feed my family and frankly those pack on the lbs. I'm not talking cheetos and soda and twinkies. but when your relaying on a food pantry provisons so your finding your choices as Mac N cheese instant potatos tuna canned green beans corn and peas pasta (tons of pasta) and wic provisions.. you make do and sadly often the body rebells. I tink there are a lot of "bad" choices that can contrubute parents who are feeding a lot of junk and by choice kids stuck in front of the TV all day ect but I also feel that nothing is black and white.
I can totally see that. Its too bad this assistance can't include farmer's market vouchers or even frozen produce.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alyantavid* 
I wish I could convince even 1 person that fat is not bad. Every body needs fat. But good fat. I personally feel that ice cream is fine. We don't avoid grains, so whole wheat is a regular for us. And what's up with bananas? I obviously missed that.


I'll help! I've know since I was 10 that naturally occurring fats are not a bad thing and you body needs them even.

On another note... There really seems to be an idea that fat = weight in the sense of how much. If you weight more, you _must_ have more fat. The friend I mentioned before, healthy but overweight? Well she has another thing that keeps cropping up. She doesn't look like her weight. She is obese, but not as obese as the BMI and drs say. Not even close. Her heathly lifestyle has made her one of the physically strongest people I know and there's no doubt that the muscle mass pushes her overall weight up over the 'morbidly obese' line.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bigeyes* 
But what really killed her was ignorant doctors who kept telling her she ate too much instead of listening to her when she said _I'm tired, I don't feel well, my hair's falling out, I have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism._ *All they saw was a fat woman who they thought ate too much.*









Yup. On the flip side, my stepdad was having blood pressure problems and was put on medication. His blood sugar immediately soared. The dietician he consulted with flat out told him and my mom that they were lying about their diet, because he _couldn't_ have blood sugar problems with the diet he described. Mom poked around, and found that this med is linked with increased blood sugar in some people. My stepdad cut his dosage in half...and his blood sugar dropped back to normal. Oops.

I also have a friend who was diagnosed with insulin-dependent diabetes about a year and a half ago. She's had problems her whole life (I've known her since she was 13), almost all of which seem to be a result of the diabetes. It took them almost 30 years to diagnose her. Why? At a guess...it's because she was always skinny, and we all know that only fat people are diabetic.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
The reason I know the problem isn't simply that people are feeding their kids the wrong stuff or not getting their kids enough exercise, is because I know several families with one or two skinny kids and one overweight kid, where the kids all eat the same stuff and have the same level of activity. There's obviously something else going on.

I was the one skinny kid amount the 3 overweight siblings. We all had the same level of activity and we ate the same stuff. The difference was the quantity of the stuff that we ate.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
I was the one skinny kid amount the 3 overweight siblings. We all had the same level of activity and we ate the same stuff. The difference was the quantity of the stuff that we ate.

Calories consumed will certainly make a difference, but there is more to it than that. I offer a tale of two dogs









I had two dogs, roughly the same frame size. One was a Lhasa apso, and the other a schipperke/bichon mix. The Lhasa was always lean, and the mix was always fat. This was true from puppyhood. They lived together and had the same play/exercise activities. They both slept most of the day, as most dogs do. Their environment was pretty much exactly alike. In fact, the only difference is that the Lhasa actually ate _more_ than the mix. Again, the thin dog ate _more_, often eating the fat dog's food as well.

I think metabolism accounts for a lot.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnmama* 

I think metabolism accounts for a lot.

ITA! I was one of those with great metabolism, I could eat anything and not gain weight, that is slowly changing as I get older, ditto for my dh.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

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Originally Posted by *lab* 
Sounds like way too many calories to me. As in... this is too large of a portion.

Huh? I listed the ingredients -- I didn't list how many people I was serving, or whether I froze some or how much I made. For all you know the pancakes could have been the size of a dime or the size of a table (in reality I gave each kid -- DS and the friend he had over 2 smallish pancakes, 1/8 of the batter that was, according to the recipe, was supposed to serve 4.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

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Originally Posted by *RomanGoddess* 
I don't understand why you have come to the conclusion that your daughter is fat. Is it just the scale that you are going by? It sounds (and looks) like she is just muscular. Do you really think that other people think she is obese?

It's possible she's going by the doctor's records or BMI calculators for children. They don't actually specify that a child is obese, just that they are in danger of becoming overweight/obese. Your child doesn't even have to look fat for a doctor to make that pronouncement. If we were going to legislate against parents whose children are at risk of becoming overweight, the legal definition of what that is matters. It doesn't really matter if you think your child looks good and is healthy, that has pretty much been shown here.

I was an obese child, and the biggest problem with it was how other people treated me because of it. That has had the most profound and lasting influence on my life.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I don't think we should be saying parents are abusive if their child is not the weight we think they should be. I was on a lot of medicine as a child and had horrible problems with my weight. My mother cut my calories way back, made me ride my bike two miles each way to school, and brought me on daily walks and it drove my self esteem into the trash and I started sneaking food at school because I was hungry. I think that you can have abuse at each extreme and that it is more helpful to educate people about how to make food and lifestyle choices that are healthy, inexpensive, and easy to prepare. I also don't think that you can just decide someone is unhealthy based on their weight. You need to know about lifestyle as well, there are many people who eat copious amounts of junk, exercise rarely, and look like a stick and there are many people who rarely eat junk, exercise a lot, and look like a beach ball but the exercise and diet combine to create health.


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