# First William "Reborn" Has Arrived!



## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

William "reborn" is here! The eyes-open one is complete and home...

You can see more pictures (lots of them... I went a little crazy







) HERE!


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

removed my original post because it came out terrible. he looks so beautiful and i'm so glad you have him.


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## kmeyrick (Aug 30, 2006)

It is beautiful. You did a beautiful job with him.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Oh wow, he is incredible! I can't get over the detail!








mama, I hope this brings you some comfort.

Oh yeah, I can also see a resemblance between your kids and him in the pictures, especially the profile shots. Amazing work!


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I've been waiting to see the finished work. So beautiful! Wow. Such great detail and he resembles William so much.
















How long did it take her to complete this one?


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

I did a lot of soul-searching when I first discovered this idea (on a different baby-loss board, actually) because I had that same reaction - I thought it would be too weird, too morbid. From the outside looking in, I can still feel that judgment, even my own. But I just knew I had to have him. I just knew it, and I didn't know why, it just felt right to have a reborn of William done to remember him. I struggled for a while and talked to DH, who was (amazingly, thank goodness) totally supportive. Another girlfriend also reminded me that if we still lived in community, in tribal cultures, I'd be holding other mama's babies all the time, probably even nursing them, and it would be part of the mourning process.

As for how it works, you have to find an artist who does "memory" or "portrait" reborns. And yes, I submitted a picture (several) to her, we chose a "sculpt" that looked like him, and then she "reborned" him...







I chose his eye and hair color. I also had her include a spine (so when you run your hand down his back, you can feel it.) It took her about a month to finish this one. She has the sleeping sculpt now and is working on that one.

And the pictures I took can't do this doll justice. You truly have to experience it. My husband and my oldest son (15) were just wide-eyed at how real he looks and feels. (I could barely get him away from my 8 yo daughter!) He is totally like holding a real baby. I felt weird leaving him alone in a room, he's so real-looking and feeling.

I know it's not for everybody... and I know lots of folks in and out of the loss community might think it's creepy... but I'm glad I did it. I've already done a bit of mourning with him, and I imagine I will do a great deal more. It's almost shamanic in a way... very symbolic.

Now I can't wait for the little girl reborn I got cheap off ebay for my daughter to come, so I can hold my reborn William for more than five minutes! *snerk*


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

dawn, my NO NO NO was not that i thought you shouldn't do it, i just meant that it broke my heart for you and i wanted you to have your baby instead of the doll. (((Hugs))) i think he is very beautiful! i should've worded my post more carefully.

i would totally do it if my dh was ok with it.

do you also choose how much the doll weighs?


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## ~Mamaterra~ (Jul 5, 2006)

He is absolutely beautiful.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

He looks so much like William. I'm glad he's bringing you some comfort and helping with your mourning.


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## RoseRedHoofbeats (Feb 27, 2008)

I'm so glad this has helped bring you peace. He's beautiful.

~Rose


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *calmom* 
dawn, my NO NO NO was not that i thought you shouldn't do it, i just meant that it broke my heart for you and i wanted you to have your baby instead of the doll. (((Hugs))) i think he is very beautiful! i should've worded my post more carefully.

i would totally do it if my dh was ok with it.

do you also choose how much the doll weighs?


Yep, he's an accurate 5lbs 4oz and 18 inches long...


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 
Yep, he's an accurate 5lbs 4oz and 18 inches long...

That's how much William weighed? I had no idea. That's what Duncan weighed. He was 17.5 inches.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Semper Gumby* 
That's how much William weighed? I had no idea. That's what Duncan weighed. He was 17.5 inches.

Wow!

Yeah, he was just a little peanut... his small size (at 39 wks) was one of the red flags for the stillbirth... although his sister was 5lbs at 39 weeks (she was born in 2001). When they did the heartbeat u/s they measured him and my MW said everything came out at 33 weeks.

Of course, she missed that he was going to be that small. Not sure how that happened.







:

Which is why I'm going to do u/s up to near the end if I get pg again!


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

He is beautiful. I am so glad you followed your heart and that this is helping you grieve.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 
Wow!

Yeah, he was just a little peanut... his small size (at 39 wks) was one of the red flags for the stillbirth... although his sister was 5lbs at 39 weeks (she was born in 2001). When they did the heartbeat u/s they measured him and my MW said everything came out at 33 weeks.

Of course, she missed that he was going to be that small. Not sure how that happened.







:

Which is why I'm going to do u/s up to near the end if I get pg again!

He appears bigger in his pictures and the doll looks hefty. I kept thinking he was 7-8 lbs, though I do remember now you saying he was tiny like his sister. Did they think it was IUGR? My sister was like 5 pounds and change at 39 weeks.

I really like the idea of having a reborn doll. It would be nice to see what he would have looked like "normal" without all of the skin changes. He looked and felt so tiny to me when the nurse handed him to me.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

Amazing! He is beautiful. I'm so glad that you did this for yourself.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Semper Gumby* 
He appears bigger in his pictures and the doll looks hefty. I kept thinking he was 7-8 lbs, though I do remember now you saying he was tiny like his sister. Did they think it was IUGR? My sister was like 5 pounds and change at 39 weeks.

I really like the idea of having a reborn doll. It would be nice to see what he would have looked like "normal" without all of the skin changes. He looked and felt so tiny to me when the nurse handed him to me.

He looks a lot bigger than he feels, actually... but when/if you decide to have one done, make sure you choose a "kit" that's small/petite, you could even choose a 'preemie' one. The artist will weight the doll accurately, and will be able to do it more easily for a 5 lber with a smaller sculpt.

They say SGA (small for gestational age) since there didn't seem to be an issue with the placenta or cord and they weren't severely growth-restricted (like 4 lbs at 39 weeks or something...) They were right on the edge, just barely off the edge of "normal" on the growth chart (I think it's 5lb 8oz that's considered on the very low end of normal at 40 weeks?)


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

oh, the fact that the weight is accurate makes me want one even more. just imagining holding something in my arms that weighs 4# 9oz again makes me tear up.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

He is beautiful hun - he looks _so_ real! I hope he can help heal your heart. What a precious well loved little angel boy.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 
IAnother girlfriend also reminded me that if we still lived in community, in tribal cultures, I'd be holding other mama's babies all the time, probably even nursing them, and it would be part of the mourning process.

When I first heard about Reborns I did initially think it was weird and morbid for babyloss mamas to want one. But now I understand.
You're right - in traditional societies we would be able to hold other babies to help us grieve. After Georgia died I just CRAVED holding a baby and my therapist told me I just ask my MW to arrange it. But I was fearful that the baby's mama would think I was crazy and would somehow hurt her baby. I'm crying remembering how that felt.
I hope this beautiful doll brings you a little comfort, mama. How I wish William was in your arms.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Oh my goodness, how beautiful. What an amazing gift that artist has, to bring comfort to grieving families and what a special work they do. I'm glad it's helped you and your family.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *calmom* 
oh, the fact that the weight is accurate makes me want one even more. just imagining holding something in my arms that weighs 4# 9oz again makes me tear up.

Yeah, it was that thought, I think, that ultimately sold me completely on the idea... just to feel his weight again in my arms. And to look down and see a little face soooo like his? It's incredibly sad and heartbreaking and strangely calming and opening too... it's like my heart cracks open every time I hold this doll, and all the things I've been trying to forget and not remember come pouring out. That, alone, is worth the price of admission for me... if it keeps me from forgetting, from pushing it away, it's more than enough.


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## claireb (Apr 7, 2009)

Oh Dawn









He is absolutely breathtaking. Just beautiful.









I'm so sad that William isn't in your arms, but so happy and grateful for you that reborn William can begin to bring you and your family some peace.

I never got to see my angels







but reading this made me long for a "reborn angel" of my own...my heart is aching for our







baby and we're struggling with infertility/subfertility problems right now and facing IUI, and it terrifies me that we might never be parents...that I might never hold my own baby. So...because of your inspiration, I ordered my OWN "reborn" baby...a little boy. He should arrive in a few days, and I can't wait to snuggle with my own, hopefully heal my heart a bit, and use my reborn baby to nurture my soul until a live little angel blesses our home (hopefully soon!!!!)

Thank you!!

Claire


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## ShineliketheSon (Aug 20, 2008)

I couldn't not post Dawn. He is beautiful.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

He's beautiful! What wonderful work, you'll have to let us see the sleeping one too.


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 
Yeah, it was that thought, I think, that ultimately sold me completely on the idea... just to feel his weight again in my arms. And to look down and see a little face soooo like his? It's incredibly sad and heartbreaking and strangely calming and opening too... it's like my heart cracks open every time I hold this doll, and all the things I've been trying to forget and not remember come pouring out. That, alone, is worth the price of admission for me... if it keeps me from forgetting, from pushing it away, it's more than enough.

Oh GOD, I can remember so clearly holding Matthew when I read what you just wrote here, Dawn. My heart cracked open every time I held him, especially the last couple times at the funeral home when I knew they would be my last. Oh, I'm so sad. How amazing that holding the doll does this for you too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claireb* 







Oh Dawn









. So...because of your inspiration, I ordered my OWN "reborn" baby...a little boy. He should arrive in a few days, and I can't wait to snuggle with my own, hopefully heal my heart a bit, and use my reborn baby to nurture my soul until a live little angel blesses our home (hopefully soon!!!!)

Thank you!!

Claire

Claire, (((hugs))) I hope you might share pictures of your doll too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Megan73* 
After Georgia died I just CRAVED holding a baby and my therapist told me I just ask my MW to arrange it. But I was fearful that the baby's mama would think I was crazy and would somehow hurt her baby. I'm crying remembering how that felt.
I hope this beautiful doll brings you a little comfort, mama. How I wish William was in your arms.

Megan, I'm crying thinking about you feeling that way. When I see tiny babies in the store, I'm so drawn to them. I walk as close as I can and try to recapture Matthew's memory while looking closely at their little parts. I want so badly to ask one of these women if I can hold... or even just touch... their babies but I too am so afraid that they will be repulsed by me need and pull their babies away from me. THAT would break my heart. The thought is just unbearable that I have to ask permission to touch a breathing, living baby.


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## Emerging butterfly (May 7, 2009)

Wipeing tears from my eyes...how I wish your sweet baby was with you. How I wish your children could hold their little brother...hear his coos. What an amazingly perfect replica of your little one. May it's presence lessen your pain...even if only a bit. It is beautiful. If I didn't know it was a doll...I wouldn't know.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claireb* 
I never got to see my angels







but reading this made me long for a "reborn angel" of my own...my heart is aching for our







baby and we're struggling with infertility/subfertility problems right now and facing IUI, and it terrifies me that we might never be parents...that I might never hold my own baby. So...because of your inspiration, I ordered my OWN "reborn" baby...a little boy. He should arrive in a few days, and I can't wait to snuggle with my own, hopefully heal my heart a bit, and use my reborn baby to nurture my soul until a live little angel blesses our home (hopefully soon!!!!)

Oh Claire, that just breaks my heart. You know, I know grief isn't a competition and love is love and loss and loss, but every time I hear about the losses of the mamas who haven't held their babes in arms yet, or the women whose first baby was stillborn, I just can't help but feel how HUGE that loss must be. I can't even imagine not having my living children around me as a comfort or to be contemplating the fear of never having a baby. My heart just aches for you.

I'm glad you got your own little reborn!







: They're very very sweet... my friend who collects them warns that they're addictive!







They actually use them therapeutically with folks who experience anxiety and depression... and artists have donated them to senior centers, too... just holding a reborn can lower the heart rate and calm your breathing and it releases natural oxytocin and seratonin in the brain.


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## alternamama82 (May 28, 2009)

Oh wow! Just... WOW! He looks so real! That is amazing, and I can totally see how it would be very therapeutic to hold that doll and just have those moments to rock him, or cry with him. What a beautiful work of art, do you mind if I ask who made him?


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alternamama82* 
Oh wow! Just... WOW! He looks so real! That is amazing, and I can totally see how it would be very therapeutic to hold that doll and just have those moments to rock him, or cry with him. What a beautiful work of art, do you mind if I ask who made him?









The artist's name is Marilyn Kangas - of "Miss Marilyn's Orphanage."


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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

Not only is it beautiful - but it seems to be quite a healing thing for your other children. I can see their pain in those pictures - and they really seem to enjoy doing things with him that they would have done with him had he still been here.
God Bless - Mama.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Authentic_Mother* 
Not only is it beautiful - but it seems to be quite a healing thing for your other children. I can see their pain in those pictures - and they really seem to enjoy doing things with him that they would have done with him had he still been here.
God Bless - Mama.

Yeah I was amazed how much you could see by their expressions. They look so loving and sad all at once...

I took one of my husband (he won't let me post it anywhere) and the reborn that just breaks my heart. He said, "He looks so sad, I just want to tell him how sorry I am, poor little guy..." The kids get that, too. Maybe that's why this sculpt called to me so much, I don't know. But they have done a lot of healing work just in the two days we've had him now.


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

OMG he's beautiful... I've never heard of reborn artists, he's beautiful. Not creepy, lovely. Beautiful. Now I want one of Asa. One when he is brand new, so that I could hold him when they wouldn't let me, and one of when I lost him, getting SO big.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I really want one, too. I think it would be good for the healing process.


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

He's such a beautiful doll. I am so, so sorry for your loss.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Hello,

I am returning this thread with some edits.

Please do not debate in P&BL.

Thank you.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Dawn, thank you for sharing your beautiful son.

The doll is very lovely. I hope it brings you some comfort. I am very sorry for your loss.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
Dawn, thank you for sharing your beautiful son.

The doll is very lovely. I hope it brings you some comfort. I am very sorry for your loss.

Thank you.







:


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## claireb (Apr 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MI_Dawn* 
Oh Claire, that just breaks my heart. You know, I know grief isn't a competition and love is love and loss and loss, but every time I hear about the losses of the mamas who haven't held their babes in arms yet, or the women whose first baby was stillborn, I just can't help but feel how HUGE that loss must be. I can't even imagine not having my living children around me as a comfort or to be contemplating the fear of never having a baby. My heart just aches for you.

I'm glad you got your own little reborn!







: They're very very sweet... my friend who collects them warns that they're addictive!







They actually use them therapeutically with folks who experience anxiety and depression... and artists have donated them to senior centers, too... just holding a reborn can lower the heart rate and calm your breathing and it releases natural oxytocin and seratonin in the brain.

















Dawn









Your kind, gentle, loving reply actually made me cry. I am so touched that you, who have been through the worst loss imaginable to me, are able to feel sadness and sympathy for MY pain. It's unfathomable to me. THANK YOU SO MUCH for honoring my sadness in such a genuine way.

I am always amazed by the strength and compassion of women, especially the women on this loss board. Despite how much hell each of us has been through, we are still able to look at another women's experience or story of loss and feel compassion, sadness, and sympathy...and admire her strength. Rather than dwelling on the injustice of our particular plight, or on the horror of our particular loss, we are still able to read another person's story and feel for THEM.







It's just amazing to me.

I just had to comment. I was so appreciative of your recognition of the depth of my personal sorrow and fear DESPITE the unimaginable loss that you have endured.








: I am so looking forward to the arrival of my own reborn baby boy.







:

I will try to share photos when he arrives (have to figure out how to upload them first!!)

Claire


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claireb* 
Your kind, gentle, loving reply actually made me cry.

And your response just made me cry... we better stop this before the whole board gets flooded out.









and yes, women are so strong, so very awe-some, in the truest sense of the word. we are all sisters, in that...

if you need help uploading the pics of your little guy, let me know. You can upload them to a free photo hosting service (like photobucket) and just link them here.


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

Your pics made me cry. I wanted to get reborns but my DH objected. I still want to do it someday. I hope it is very healing for you family.


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