# feeling awful and nervous about hospital birth



## suddenlyamama (Mar 6, 2010)

homebirth is not an option or a choice for us. We do not have the money to pay for a midwife in the bay area. It is completely where I align myself and am so nervous about my baby's due date in 4 weeks. My insurance does not cover cnms either. All i read is horror stories about hospital births. It sucks.

I hate that I am transferring this negative fear and anxiety to my baby about her arrival. How do I deal? (Besides professional help..ha...can't afford that either)


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## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

Hugs, I know how you feel. Arrive as late as possible at the hospital and have your partner or doula enforce your wishes. Which hospital will you be at? My SIL had a natural birth without disturbances at Sequoia (Redwood City). DH's cousin just had an induction and section pushed on her at Stanford. I hear good stuff about Mills-Peninsula (for natural birth). Kaiser has a low csection rate...


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## Cassaba (Apr 7, 2009)

Dear Suddenlyamama, I wanted to let you know that I am in a similar situation. I posted in "I'm Pregnant" about how my Bradley instructor has said things that have made me feel like it's impossible to have a natural, unmedicated hospital birth. I have considered quitting the Bradley classes because I don't like the impact on my psyche. Here's how I am trying to deal: like nia82 suggests, I'm going to labor at home for as long as practical. I am going to have a birth plan that I share with my provider beforehand. I will also take multiple copies with me for the labor and delivery nurses and staff. I am going to have DH and a doula with me and I am counting on them to run interference. Finally, I keep telling myself that all that really matters in the long run is that I come out of this with a healthy baby. Best wishes mama!

p.s. I have a book called "Homebirth in the Hospital" which shares the stories of women who've successfully birthed naturally in the hospital setting, and offers advice on how to achieve it. It is written by Stacey Marie Kerr. You might want to check it out since you've only heard horror stories.


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## chandasz (Apr 13, 2005)

I know I responded elsewhere but I am going to respond here as a mama who had both her babies in a hospital.... not as a professional....

We stayed home as long as we "could". I arrived both times at about 9... I was only there for about 45 minutes (if even) before pushing.

I had a great experience both times. Great stories. #1 was posterior but I had fantastic support and #2 was a waterbirth like I had wanted.

It's normal to be nervous. I felt the same way just before #2 came along. Wished I was going to be at home but you know what-- I had great caregivers, great support and I knew what I was doing.

Please don't think you need to have a bad experience just because it is a hospital.

There are some advantages too.

Someone brings you food/drink

Someone reminds you to change baby diaper and you have someone there all the time when you have a new baby that you don't know what to do with- LOL

You don't feel like you have to pick up the house for company

No distractions from home

You will have continuous access to breastfeeding help

Everyone is nice to you

You don't feel obligated to answer the phone

Start coming up with some of your own positives about where you plan to birth!


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## Yuba_River (Sep 4, 2006)

I had a hospital birth with DS when I really wanted to be at home--and it was completely fine. The nurses respected our birth plan, and basically left us alone. For about 12 hours, from when I got there until when I was close to pushing, it was just my husband, my mom and me, and I was up out of the bed the whole time--shower, birth ball, leaning on the window sill etc. Nurses came in and listened with a doppler where ever I was, and that was it. I did have a 15 minute stint on the monitor when I first got there. I would have been happier at home, but once I really got into labor land, I stopped even thinking about it. '

DS never left our room, and we went home less than 24 hours after he was born. Also, the nurse who was with me during pushing was wonderful--positive, encouraging and helpful. So, I know it's not ideal for you, but just wanted to share a positive story.


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## isign (Jan 17, 2008)

Hugs mama!! I had both my babies in a hospital and had amazing care. I met the nurses and visited the hospital a few times so I was familiar with the surroundings. When my water broke with my 2nd, I called my Dr to let him know. His staff called the hospital, faxed all my info including my birth preferences. When I arrived they had a room ready and had read my file, and were on board with what I wanted. The care was amazing, both during delivery and PP. DS has therapy sessions as the same hospital, so sometimes DD and I will pop in while waiting just to say hi. Positive experiences do happen.

You need to be able to have faith in the people taking care of you in order to relax. Trust your DH & your doula to not just run interference, but to help the staff know your wishes. It is very possible to have a natural birth in a hospital. I wish you luck!


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

Have you been on a hospital tour yet? You say you are in the Bay Area, so my guess is that you don't have much to worry about--I bet the hospitals in your area are much more geared toward natural birth options than in most other places in the country.

I've had three hospital births in SoCal, and no horror stories to report. It's standard procedure here to delay cord clamping, keep mom and baby together always, promote breastfeeding, and no one so much as batted an eye when we declined the Hep B shot and circumcision.

My advice is do the hospital tour and come prepared with questions. Hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised.


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## Lucy&Jude'sMama (Jun 4, 2010)

I had a hospital birth with my first two years ago. I did a lot of research about natural childbirth and the drugs that hospital try to push. Anyways since I was a first time mom the moment my water broke I though... OMG she'll be here any minute! Hahaha So I went to the hospital first thing. (In my own defense my mom had me with in two hours of her water breaking so I was thinking I'd be the same) The hospital midwife told me I just peed on myself... to which I replied... Uh I know what pee is. 4 hours later they agreed that my water had broke but up top so it still seemed intacked. Anyways I got a room and refused to sign papers for drugs. I also refused to be strapped down to any machines or IVs. I did fetal monitoring because they told me I didn't have a choice in that, but instead of being strapped down I had them monitor me ever hour for 15 minutes. This was alright until real pain came which was about 10 hours after I arrived... then I hated them each time they made me sit still for monitoring. I had a labor tub in the room and that help till about 7 centimeters. After that it was just managing the pain. My total labor was 20 hours. I pushed for 30-45 minutes. No tearing, no complications, and drug free.

I'm pregnant with my second and I'm planning to go unassisted with this one since like you I can not afford a midwife (I live in CA) and I don't want to go back to the hospital. I would say for a hospital experience I had a good one. The reason I don't want to go back to the hospital isn't because I'm afraid of interventions (just say no), but because of the little annoyances that just bothered me. Like being starving and getting kicked out of the cafe, the constant fetal monitoring, being forced out of comfortable positions, and having to give birth on my back. Oh and the 3 day stay they said was also mandatory... I stayed 24 hours which they weren't happy about. Turns out I could have left when I wanted to. It just would have been against doctors orders.









I stated earlier that I had done my research on natural childbirth and drugs associated with birth complications and other interventions, but what I didn't do the 1st time was research my rights. What truly was mandatory hospital policy and what was just doctor/nurse convenience. Now if for some crazy reason I end up back at the hospital I know I can refuse pretty much everything and I also have the right to kick people out of my room too and be in the birth position I want.

So do some research and take a tour of your hospital. You can have a great experience in a hospital you just need to know your rights and know what you want. Also make sure to be specific on how you want your baby to be handled. If you want the cord to stop pulsating before its cut, if you want your baby placed directly on you (providing there are no complications), if you want to be left alone to bond...etc. Sometimes you have to fight a little for what you want, but I say the fighting makes birth easier in some cases because it gets you angry. hahaha I always work better when I'm mad. hahaha Good luck to you!!!! I'm sure you will have a wonderful experience and if it doesn't go exactly as planned just remember the end result is a beautiful baby.


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

I had two hospital births and one homebirth. One of my hospital births was a homebirth transfer and one was planned. One I had interventions (pit, abx, internal monitor, epidural) and one was intervention free--not even an IV. And they were both great! Great nurses, great doctor, everyone very respectful and helpful. Both times I had an * awesome * shower with jets from all sides, the food was good, no one really bugged me at night or anything. I was up with the baby half the time anyway. In my transfer I checked out early (my first baby) and my planned hospital birth (my third baby) I stayed the full 2 or 3 days or whatever it is. My third birth even had a whirlpool tub.

Just wanted to let you know it is not impossible to have a great hospital birth and they aren't all horror stories. It was harder to have a natural birth simply because pain meds were readily available and I'm kind of a wuss







but my doctor and nurses helped me get through it.

Best of luck!!


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## Climbergirl (Nov 12, 2007)

Ledzepplon: Unfortunately, that is not exactly the case. I believe Good Sam has almost a 45% c-section rate. (That could be a little high, but their rate was pretty high). I won't go too far into why, but I would avoid Good Sam. If you would like to hear why, just PM me.

I know a lot of people have done well with Kaiser and Sequoia, as well as the hospital in Santa Cruz.

I would say get a good doula. That will help. Harmony and Blossom has info on doulas. If you get on the ICAN San Jose yahoo group, you could ask there (even though you have not had a c-section, they have great recommendations for very supportive OBs and know rates at the local hospitals).

The other thing is to tell your DH if the nurse is being too pushy about anything, go to the head nurse and ask for a different one. Do not give her the benefit of the doubt. Make sure the people around you are truly supporting you.

You can do it, but you have to be smart about it. What hospital are you planning on birthing? Are you near San Jose? I can connect you with some people there that may be able to help.

I am sorry you are nervous. Maybe you could get some birth affirmations and listen to those to help?

Good luck!


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## mambera (Sep 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suddenlyamama* 
homebirth is not an option or a choice for us. We do not have the money to pay for a midwife in the bay area. It is completely where I align myself and am so nervous about my baby's due date in 4 weeks. My insurance does not cover cnms either. All i read is horror stories about hospital births. It sucks.

Are you sure your ins won't cover a hospital-based midwife practice? I'm also in the Bay Area, I had terrible insurance but it covered my AWESOME midwives and I had a very nice natural birth with no interventions. I know they take a lot of transfers from OB care quite late in pregnancy as well. PM me for specifics!


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

I was totally in your position not too long ago. No way for me to have a midwife assisted homebirth, and I am not comfortable with a UC as we live far from a hospital. If you can believe it, I am at peace with the fact that I will be having this baby in a hospital. I didn't start prenatal care till about 18 weeks, and I was so nervous at my first DR.s appointment. But I felt less nervous at the second appointment. It is feeling really good to me put MYSELF in control of my care and using a DR. to get what I want out of the visits. I recently went and visited the hospital and actually had a really great tour. Sure, I would still rather be at home with a hands off midwife. But this is my situation and I will make the best of it. I almost feel like going to my prenatal visits is preparing me for during labor when more than likely I will have to say "no" to certain things. My best advice, is to take charge of your care as much as you can.

You can have a great hospital birth!! I had a really nice one with my ds.
And the things that bother me most about it could have been changed if I had been more aware of what was happening. My water broke before labor and I went in right away. Big mistake because that is what led to the pitocin augmentation of my labor. I was crying for an epidural before the pitocin....so I can't "blame" anything on that







. So like others have said, I will try to stay at home as long as possible this time.

You can make yourself crazy reading about horrible hospital experiences and fantastic homebirths. I think it is good to read and learn from them, but everyone's experience is different. You are living your reality and that reality is a hospital birth. I think it is awful that we don't all have access to the birth we want and it depresses me to no end. But at the end of it all, we have to do the best with what we've got to work with.


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## suddenlyamama (Mar 6, 2010)

Hi all,
thanks for all the encouragment and support, I really appreciate it.
We will be delivering at Alta Bates, which is located in Oakland and Berkeley. We just moved here and since I had to late transfer (34 weeks) the only doc that would see me "this late" is high risk.
After we found out the insurance wouldn't cover the midwife I was seeing I called any and every recommended ob but was referred to the high risk office because they were all booked for July births. ( I am not high risk, they just refer patients here when there is no room in the other affiliations)
It sounds unbelievable...and it is, because we just moved here from Portland where everything was soooo easy. But DH got a new job, we got new insurance, and we have to go with the flow.
If this wouldn't be my first baby I might have considered unassisted as I have tried ins and outs with my insurance to see if I could even still be seen by the midwife in hospital but there is no way of getting them to pay for it.

I am sorry if this is way tmi, I am not super used to posting on boards as I am new to the Mothering community.

Thanks again for your positive feedback and so happy for the mamas who have had good hospital experiences.


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## suddenlyamama (Mar 6, 2010)

Oh and I forgot to mention that being reminded of the end result is really helpful. Thank you for that!


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chandasz* 

Please don't think you need to have a bad experience just because it is a hospital.










I had a great hospital vba2c with my last baby







All the nurses and everything were great. I had a great doula, too. I'm planning my second hospital vba2c and hoping it goes that well again!


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## VillageMom6 (Dec 2, 2008)

I wish you all the best! I've had five hospital births that were wonderful... little to no interventions, one of which was a planned water birth.

Honestly, I read all of the horror stories about hospital births and I'm just baffled. Don't get me wrong... I _believe_ them. But my experiences have been so different.


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## expat-mama (May 28, 2008)

I'm in a similar situation as you. I live in the UAE where homebirth is illegal, if I were back in Canada I'd be having a homebirth. But we have to go with the cards we're dealt and that's what I've been doing. I was so nervous and apprehensive about a hospital birth but I did what I could to find the best hospital I could and to prepare myself and DH for having a natural birth in an unnatural setting.
It's hard and terrifying to read all the natural birthing info that is geared to homebirthers and so against hospitals when you have no other choice! I know.







I wish I had heard of that book a PP mentioned- Homebirth in the Hospital, or something.

I'm due next week and planning to stay home as long as possible (till I feel pushy, hopefully, since we live less than 10 minutes away from the hospital), we've prepared a thorough birth plan, discussed it beforehand with the hospital staff and are very familiar with our hospital's routines so we know what to expect and have planned how to deal with it.

It was hard at first to come to terms with the fact that my first birth won't be exactly as I'd imagined it or would have wished it, but even if I had been able to plan a home birth there would be no guarantees, you know? In the end, I have to remember that this experience will be largely what I make of it, that I've done all I can do to try to ensure my baby has a gentle entry into the world, and that if it IS bad...well it's only one day. I can deal with one bad day for this baby.







The end result will be BABY and that will make it all worth it! It's nice to hear mamas chime in with positive stories and reassurance about hospital births- I find that's hard to come by around these parts.

Good luck.


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## Galatea (Jun 28, 2004)

I have a friend who was in your situation and she took Bradley classes to learn about labor stages and signs. They stayed home until she could do nothing other than concentrate on labor and was in laborland. Then they went to the hospital. When they arrived, she was 9 cm, pushed out the baby, and signed out a few hours later. The key is to learn about what early labor and active labor look and feel like so you don't go too early.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I've had three babies in hospitals. It was disappointing to be risked out of the birth center. Definitely stressful, but...

Once I knew what I was doing, the 2nd and 3rd births were just fine. I never walk in before 7 cm anyway.







The midwives were great. The births went fast. No problems. Except the beds were uncomfortable.


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## AnnaNova (Nov 2, 2008)

i was in your shoes about 2 yrs ago. i had to have a hospital birth for varous reasons and i swear i thought i'd have to fight for every step i make as soon as im there. but it turned out to be wonderful and peaceful and intimate and generally everything we wanted.
we had an awesome doula and requested a natural birth minded nurse when we got there, so that helped a lot.
unfortunately i had to be there when i was only about 1.5 cm, but it stll all worked out. we hhad lights off the entire time, even when my water broke they brought in a flashlight. i was there for 12 hrs before i dialated fully and then pushed for another 3 hrs. it was hard, but i had great support so that helped greatly.
i later ended up working at the same hospital and was going to l&d once in a while to pump, and they still remembered me...
i wish you all the best, and hope you have an awesome experience!


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## terra-pip (Aug 30, 2008)

I love this thread!!!

I agree with everything everyone already posted. I had my first in a birthing center and my second at a hospital...my CNM was away so I had the OB in her practice I chose attending. I was nervous about it because of the horror stories I heard as well about OBs and hospitals...and I couldn't have been more relieved. Everything on my birthing plan was honored. I was able to walk and labor how I liked. I pushed on my hands and knees. My OB was against episiotomies but not as familiar with warm compresses as a MW..so I talked him through it in labor...it's still something funny to us when I meet him. I didn't tear. He had to cut baby's umbilical before the body was out because the cord was tight. If I kept pushing him it was going to tighten even more. He talked me through panting to slow down my pushes until the cord was cut. That's the sort of thing that make me go to hospitals. Something like that is completely unforeseeable and I like knowing that in those cases someone is there to make sure everything is okay. My son was fine. And he talked me through it calmly because he knew about my wish for delayed cord clamping. I passed a pretty large clot even though my placenta was allowed to come naturally and was intact and he gave Methegrin instead of Pitocin which was my wish...another reason I like hospitals or someone with medical knowledge with me. Birth is beautiful but does come with risks.

My advice is the same as everyone elses...be 100% informed of all hospital policies. Think about your time there as not "fighting" but being "politely assertive"...and have a detailed birth plan. Keep looking and see if you can find a hospital with a CNM attending...and if you can't and you see no other options but this high risk OB...then make sure he/she understands that you're not really high risk but just unable to find other care. And make sure your labor nurses know that too!!

And try to take high Csection rates with some common sense...high csection rates are troublesome...but remember you don't know the exact details of every womans labor or birth and the reasons for her csection. Some could have been prevented, some may have been elective, some may have had some very valid medical reasons and on and on it could go. Sometimes we women get overly scared of the C word.

I've noticed a bash hospital birth trend these days as well...but remember things can go wrong at home too!!!


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## Cassaba (Apr 7, 2009)

I just want to thank everyone who has shared positive, natural childbirth stories in the hospital setting. It is helping me feel more confident and less afraid that I will wind up with unnecessary and unwanted interventions.


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## kltroy (Sep 30, 2006)

I haven't read the whole thread, so I apologize if this is redundant, but I would absolutely speak to a family practice doctor who does obstetrics, and have him/her attend your birth. FP doctors tend to practice with more of a midwife model of care - they are not trained surgeons and don't tend to intervene nearly as often as OB/GYNs do. I actually had a really lovely hospital VBAC 2 years ago with my family practice doctor. It was completely intervention-free and the best part is that my doctor could take care of me and my daughter all at the same time!


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Your insurance doesn't cover CNMs? That's terrible!

Just because it will be at the hospital doesn't mean it can't be a great experience. Be prepared, have someone there to speak up for you, and think positively! I know many people who had fine hospital births.


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suddenlyamama* 
homebirth is not an option or a choice for us. We do not have the money to pay for a midwife in the bay area. It is completely where I align myself and am so nervous about my baby's due date in 4 weeks. My insurance does not cover cnms either. All i read is horror stories about hospital births. It sucks.

I hate that I am transferring this negative fear and anxiety to my baby about her arrival. How do I deal? (Besides professional help..ha...can't afford that either)

Do not let the "horror stories" get to you. It is absolutely 100% possible to have the hospital birth you want. All you have to do is find the right hospital. I have never known anyone to experience the "classic cascade of interventions" that so many talk about here. My sister had a C-section, but on her request, not the hospital's, and she hadn't had any interventions other than the IV-no pit, no other meds, nothing. She had gone into labor on her own, water broke on her own, she just basically gave up after several hours of pushing-and has no regrets. My friend had an emergency C section for pre-e. Those are the only two C-sections I know of out of 9 births that I personally know the mommas, or my own.

Both of my previous births were in the hospital. The first, I was quite young, but still had no epidural, nor was it pushed on me. About an hour before she was born, I was ASKED, NOT pressured at all, if I wanted any pain meds and at that point agreed, but it was MY choice, no one pressured me. And with my second, I did end up with an epidural, but it was again my choice. They only asked me once, and only because DH was already pressuring me to. Monitoring, my hospital uses intermittent monitoring, I could get up and walk around any time I wanted. They also off labor tubs, there are a few rooms with them in the room and then they have a pair of first come, first serve tubs for anyone. The rooms are private, LDRP rooms, so you get checked in and you don't have to leave the room at all the entire time, if you don't want to. They also have birth balls and birth bars that you can lean on, you could push or give birth in any position you wanted. And they offered to let me go home basically as soon as I was ready. Now, I stayed, because they brought food to me, I didn't have to cook. Baby could stay in the room if I wanted, or not, so if I felt like letting someone else take care of her for a night so I could sleep, I could do that, but I didn't, she actually slept several hours those first two nights.

I am totally comfortable doing another hospital birth this time around.

ETA: also the doc you have attending makes a difference to. My doc's philosphy is that the majority of births have nothing to wrong and that the woman is perfectly capable of doing it all on her own. He believes he's only there for the rare instance when something goes wrong.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

I will say that Alta Bates is one of the best hospitals around to deliver at, by all accounts. When you check in, ask if you can be attended by a MW - it never hurts to ask. I just had a friend deliver there last week, and she was very happy with her birth (she was leaning toward HB, but her DH said no).

Do you have a doula? Do you have any support system here at all?

As silly as it sounds, you might want to join us in the FYT area - the Alameda County Mommas and maybe come out for whatever playdates you can attend before you have the babe. Get to know a few people. I know I'd be happy to help out... it was really awful doing everything without support when I had my babe, so I'm happy to offer support to new moms. And if you're near Alta Bates, then you're not far from me.


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## somegirl99 (Aug 22, 2009)

Thanks for the thread, it's making me feel better about my upcoming hospital birth.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Having attended a hospital birth that "went bad", I would add that if you're going in, you need to expect to be offered "services"/interventions, and you need to be resolute in refusing the minor ones.

I think stadol/demoral is a big culprit--what it did to me and to my sister was to make us feel loopy, scared, and out of control. Once you're at that point, it's possible to "consent" to things that you didn't want or don't really want then. As well as breaking the waters when the baby is not well-engaged in the pelvis (cord prolapse). They will tell you those are "minor" things, just "little" things to "help you". But in my observation and experience if you can avoid them, you have a better chance at a natural birth and an overall better labor. You need to have someone with you that will wholly support your desire to avoid interventions and be a buffer between you and the people pushing "just a little something to take the edge off".


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## lovingkindness (Apr 1, 2008)

typing one handed-

get there as late as possible! I know it's tricky to know how far you are but I left the house when I thought I was in transition. By the time we arrived at the hospital I was 10 cm. It was perfect. Transition in the car = not too fun but worth it.


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## cchrissyy (Apr 22, 2003)

so, i had my last baby at Alta Bates berkeley with a CNM, and it was billed under some OBs name in the group and worked out fine.

can you share what insurance, what midwife you wanted, and what medicla group?
have you asked the midwife how she bills and what can be done for yoru situation?


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## Yuba_River (Sep 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kltroy* 
I haven't read the whole thread, so I apologize if this is redundant, but I would absolutely speak to a family practice doctor who does obstetrics, and have him/her attend your birth. FP doctors tend to practice with more of a midwife model of care - they are not trained surgeons and don't tend to intervene nearly as often as OB/GYNs do. I actually had a really lovely hospital VBAC 2 years ago with my family practice doctor. It was completely intervention-free and the best part is that my doctor could take care of me and my daughter all at the same time!

I totally agree with this. My birth was attended by my FP doc, and she was great. Much less interventionist. It was really nice having her check both me and DS the next day, too.


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## Xavismom (Dec 22, 2009)

Havent read through all the posts, but I wanted to lend some encouragement!

I had a natural birth attended by a CNM in a hospital. It wasnt the homebirth I always dreamed of, but it was 200% BETTER than I ever thought a hospital birth could be. Very supportive.


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## chellebee (Oct 13, 2009)

As a doula, I can tell you that I have attended great hospital births.









And speaking of doulas, if you are interested in having one (I am assuming you don't based on previous comments?) I would recommend looking for a doula in training that would do a free or reduced cost birth. I'm not in your state, so I don't know what doula orgs are around, but you could start with the DONA website and contact someone and go from there. Also, a lot of doulas who do charge normal fees will do a free/reduced cost birth every so often (or sliding fee) so it definitely doesn't hurt to ask.


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## MamaChicken (Aug 21, 2006)

I've had all four of mine in the hospitals, including the twins. The only "bad" experience I had was from the Pre-E with my first. I was attended by midwives all four times who were working with OBs. I was insured through my college the first time and Kaiser for the rest. I did study hypnobabies and the nurses and MW were facinated by it, they had never seen it before. When I had my twins, the MW had never attended a twin birth before and not a single one of the 17 people in the room had ever seen a natural twin birth. They cheered me on and were so supportive! The OB and anestheseologist just hung out at the sides of the room.


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## MyFullHouse (Apr 23, 2010)

BE CLEAR with your doctor before the big day as step one!

All 4 of my babies have been born in hospitals, 2 with OBs and 2 with CNMs. We have used 3 different NJ hospitals and NJ has something like a 40% c-section rate. The only time I've ever had a section even mentioned to me has been with #4, by my CNM, for legitimate reasons. Even then, we managed to avoid it.

I was completely unprepared for my first birth, and took my OB up on the suggestion to induce at 40 weeks. Yes, 40 weeks. As a first-timer. It was a 36-hour project from start to finish, complete with epidural. He was even born at 6:16pm, when the stats show that dinner-time doctors cut around 4. I was never threatened.

I crazily requested induction for #2 with another OB. Not only did the staff completely respect my decision to not have an epidural, but they sent someone else's midwife in to give me some tips after her client delivered.

My hospital births with my CNM were wonderful, and the staff at that hospital is used to working with natural labor.

I'm *considering* homebirth with #5 (my cons being distance from transfer and dh's resistance), but I am content with another hospital birth. My plan is made clear in advance, it's made clear when I arrive at the hospital, and I have a husband who backs me up. I also know how to calmly ask for an AMA form.









I realize my experience doesn't necessarily reflect the norm, but it's not off-the-wall enough to assume it's impossible. It isn't fair that it should have to be a fight for many women, but it IS worth the fight!

Stay strong!


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

I had a pretty good hospital birth with my first (my birth story on the home birth page somewhere around 10-08). I was very very clear with my doctor on what I wanted though. I think the key to having a great hospital birth is being clear with your provider what you want and what you don't want. If you're on the same page things will go much more smoothly. Even though she was out on maternity leave for my delivery I was able to invoke the all mighty "But my doctor said" to the nurse a few times and the doctor that delivered was from the same practice so she had at least seen my chart.


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

I relate! In the beginning of my pregnancy, I didn't know a SOUL who'd had a natural birth. I figured I'd get the epidural because, "Why go through all that pain if you don't have to?"














Thank goodness I had enough sense to realize I'd better get educated!

By the end I was way more terrified of the hospital than I was of birth itself. But not only was it fine, they were quite nice. My nurse even complimented me on my birth plan saying, "You seem really well-read!" When we checked out, she said, "I tried to give you a lot of space, since it seemed like you wanted a home birth."

Cassaba gave you some great tips. Another one I read in the book "Pushed" was to actually get the birth plan formally signed-off on by the OB so nurses can't argue with it (or won't need to waste time calling up the OB to confirm.)

Another tip I got was to think of people coming into your room as visitors & maybe sometimes even asking, "Can I help you?," as if you are hosting them.







For some reason this suggestion really resonated with me! it made me feel like this room will be _my room_ and *I am in charge!*

I also refused a hospital gown & wore a big old t-shirt of DH's that we didn't care if it got ruined. That was also important to me to be in the right 'head space' to not feel like a hospital 'patient.' (I've worn gowns twice to go in for surgery under general anesthesia.)

As another person said, *Never forget YOU CAN REFUSE ANYTHING!* Absolutely, positively anything. From AROM to a hep-lock (which I consented to because I figured it was no big deal, but would refuse if I were to hospy birth again.) It's called "informed consent." There is no.such.thing as "mandatory." It's YOUR BODY and YOUR BABY.

I have to disagree with chandasz on some of those "pros" to hospy birth! Ha! I found the food to be dreadful! Not only did it not taste very good, I was literally deprived of fiber, protein & veggies. I was feeling malnourished!! So I'd recommend having DH & friends bring you stuff.

Also, my LCs were bad. I met numerous times with all of them & 3 of the 4 were DREADFUL & I have no doubt that I was worse off for having met them. So I'd ask your Bradley teacher & your "tribal area" for their input. Being steered wrong by bad LCs is really awful.

But I would say another benefit is the paperwork! Getting the birth cert, social security, hearing test & PKU screenings done for you without having to think about it _at all_ is nice! (I've read lots of threads about HB mamas having to deal with the state health dept to get it taken care of.)

& having help as a first time mama with doing the diaper changes, swaddling, etc. is also nice!

I wish more people on the 'birth stories' forum would put birth location on the title so it's easier to find positive hospy birth stories - cuz there _are_ lots of them out there!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *terra-pip* 
Think about your time there as not "fighting" but being "politely assertive"

I like this a lot! Great way to phrase it. You may have to say "no" but that doesn't mean you are fighting. It's your body, and literally, legally, they CAN'T touch you without your consent. So saying "no" doesn't have to be a bad thing & doesn't have to mean you have an adversarial view of the staff. Also, it might be worth bearing in mind that they suggest interventions to you that you don't want, _because that's what they are used to._

Remember, most American women are not only _not interested_ in natural birth, they think it's flat out stupid & crazy. (Saying things like, "Natural birth makes as much sense as natural dentistry.") So the nurses are used to those patients. Just because you have to remind them that you're different doesn't mean it's a "fight". (But, again, I'd have your doula ask immediately for a nurse experienced with natural birth. Friends of mine who birthed at the same hospital as me said their nurse was so awesome, she acted just like a doula.


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## Hannah32 (Dec 23, 2009)

I just wanted to post that I just had an induced, hospital birth. I did receive pitocin and an epidural as well. I had my qualms, but I have to say that I was treated very well. I was able to give birth vaginally and avoid a section, which I wanted to avoid due to the surgical recovery time.

There are downsides to a hospital birth, which I experienced, but it was the best choice for me, given the circumstances.


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## Lisalee2 (Dec 12, 2001)

I haven't had a hospital birth experience, but I know that if I were in a jam and had to birth at a hospital, it wouldn't have to be a horrible experience or anything. Definitely bring a birth plan, go over it beforehand with your doc if possible, make sure your labor support knows your plans, and stay positive.







Good luck!


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## mojobin (Jun 9, 2010)

Everyone has such lovely sage advice for you! Remember to keep your eye on the prize. I had a wonderful hospital birth and I had to be induced which was totally not in my birth plan. Yes it did feel more 'medical' than I would have liked (had strep B too so I had an IV for antibiotics) but I never had anyone pressure me into pain meds and everyone listened to my wishes. Continue to envision your birth as you would like it to be and it will BE! I know many women who have hospital births and are EARTH MAMAS through and through! Instead of listening to your instructor, perhaps you need to visit the hospital, take a tour, and ask questions. You may be pleasantly surprised.


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