# 5 yr old cut hair off toys



## jrabbit (May 10, 2008)

this is a first for me. my dd's are 9 & 5. younger has recently become more of a challenge, doing things she knows are not acceptable. i think a lot of it has to do with her age, combined with the arrival of new baby (now 2 months). she denies it when confronted, even when i am not specifically asking 'who' did something or anything - my approach has been to broadly condemn the action "we don't draw on toys" or "if we leave books on the floor, the bunny will eat them" - and her reaction is an automatic "i didn't do it" even though i know full and well she did do it. if i do find her doing something more serious, and confront her "you need to pick up the cereal that you dropped on the floor" or similar request, she also says "i didn't do it".

my response when i get the "i didn't do it" is: I am NOT asking "who" did it, i'm asking YOU to help by cleaning it up.

well, today was a new thing. she cut the hair off the stick horses this morning. i know she did it because her older sister is very upset. it's partly my fault because i cut the girls' hair yesterday and left the scissors on the table. BUT she also knows the rules about scissors: she's not supposed to cut anything except for her crafts, and she's not supposed to use MY scissors. when big sister confronted her, she blamed it on the bunny (giggle). it's never happened before because i always put scissors away, and i'm pretty vigilant about them.

well, they are upstairs right now, and the baby is sleeping, and i really don't want a huge confrontation, but i'm struggling with how to deal with it. my brain is telling me to punish her. that if i don't, then how will she know that it wasn't acceptable? but my heart is trying to be compassionate. i don't see how anything can be done to change what happened, but i really am mad that it happened.

any suggestions??

--janis


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## Porcelain Interior (Feb 8, 2008)

I have the most laid back children on earth.

And they both at the age of 5 did things with scissors that they shouldn't have. One cut her own hair, denied it.

The other snipped the shoelaces off all our shoes, and then hit up that cats whiskers. She also snipped one of her Hanna Andersson dresses ON PURPOSE! Denied it.

There's something powerful and magnetic about scissors. Especially when you're 5.

I was very unhappy, stated so and then said "Well you may not use scissors for a month, and after that you'll have to ask first."

Then I kept the scissors (and nail clippers, they used those on the cat also) up.

They never did it again.


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## demottm (Nov 15, 2006)

I would let it go. If you talked to her about it and she understands that it is not acceptable she may not do it again.


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## Meems (Jan 8, 2007)

when i was about 5, i cut all of my baby doll's hair off. barbie's hair, buzz cut, cabbage patch kids, cut. i was imagining and playing and was interested in becoming a hair dresser at the time. i was never punished for it. they were mine... my mom is always telling people how i cut all of my doll's hair when i was 5... so i think punishing is a bit much. if you don't want her to do it again, just put the scissors away.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meems* 
when i was about 5, i cut all of my baby doll's hair off. barbie's hair, buzz cut, cabbage patch kids, cut. i was imagining and playing and was interested in becoming a hair dresser at the time. i was never punished for it. they were mine... my mom is always telling people how i cut all of my doll's hair when i was 5... so i think punishing is a bit much. if you don't want her to do it again, just put the scissors away.

I had just gotten a hair cut because my hair was "getting too long"...well, the Troll Dolls had really long and uneven hair. So, I "helped them" by cutting it.... It's still a running joke around the house that I mangled my Troll Dolls because I cut their hair off.

Like PPs have said, I think it's just kids and scissors. You talked to her, she understands, and now you can help her avoid temptation by being extra careful with the scissors again.


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrabbit* 
...and her reaction is an automatic "i didn't do it" even though i know full and well she did do it. if i do find her doing something more serious, and confront her "you need to pick up the cereal that you dropped on the floor" or similar request, she also says "i didn't do it".

First let me say, WOW. Thank you for posting this. My DS is going to be 6-yo in two weeks, and I thought it was a personality thing that the most common phrase out of his mouth lately is "I didn't do it." It's actually a relief to realize this is a phase common to the age. Maybe there's hope he will outgrow this without becoming a pathological liar.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrabbit* 
well, today was a new thing. she cut the hair off the stick horses this morning.

I don't have any advice, except to say I did this as a youngster. I recall having half a dozen bald dolls and all my Barbies had been scalped. I don't know why I did it or what my mother's reaction was, but I had to have been about the same age.


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## jrabbit (May 10, 2008)

thanks, y'all for the dose of reality. i *NEVER* cut anything i wasn't supposed to, and dd1 didn't either. i guess we are weird.


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## proudmamanow (Aug 12, 2003)

Dd who is almost 4 loves scissors & loves to cut things. We are fortunate in that (so far!) she always asks permission first. But I'm sure this day is coming. She seems to find cutting hair and paper, and anything really pretty fascinating. ((hugs)) to you. I know I find it hard to always keep scissors out of her reach---she is very resourceful when it comes to using stools to climb high etc.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

IF she destroyed property shared by another then I;d work wit her on making amends to that person but overall yea I'd let it go. Mine gave her large collection of beloved My little ponies haircuts about a year or so ago. SHe had to live with the natural conquence short haired ponies and knowing mommy wasn't going out to replace them with new ones. Since then her collection has grown but no other cuts.









Deanna


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

ditto everyone here, and I also cut my own hair and the hair of ym dolls when I was little.


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## SuzyLee (Jan 18, 2008)

I would make her "work" off her debt to buy replacements if she cut any that weren't hers, and also have no scissors for a week, I think.

By "work" I mean help you with some extra chores- maybe 3 chores for each toy needing replacement.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Sometimes I think we can get too focused on the outside behavours that our child is showing and miss the whole plot - I am wondering if there is anything deeper here that you are missing out on that is probably the root cause of all, that needs to be addressed? Having a new sibling can be hard on everyone - your first is already used to it, she got a sister!...but your second might be finding that being the middle child is a bit much for her at the moment. Do you think that perhaps spending more one on one time with her might 'help'? But maybe thats not it at all! - A lot of the 'root' causes I find are not very obvious, if we are at first certain that that is not the root cause.


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## Gabe'sMummy (Dec 4, 2008)

I really shouldn't but I had to giggle at this as it reminds me of when I was a child (about 6 I guess?). My younger sister (by 17 months) dared me to cut off her Barbie's hair. I said I wasn't going to as she would be upset. She swore she wouldn't be. So I chopped off Sailor Barbie's lovely hair - And my sister ran downstairs crying "Mommy, Philippa cut my Barbie's hair off!"









I agree about it being kids and scissors, or playing hairdressers. I wouldn't replace the toys and I would also keep the scissors way out of her reach (though as PPs said, it's hard with a 5 yo).


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## kkeake (Jun 5, 2006)

I wish all my son cut up with scissors was dolls and toys!









He woke up really early one morning and I told him he could play quietly in his room and when I went in there an hour later he had taken a pair of scissors to his pillowcase and made a mask. Seriously. I was livid but managed to contain myself and say, Wow that's a really great mask. I'd love it even more if you had made it out of paper or something other than your bedclothes.

He has cut his sister's hair (she cried about it, but it came out later it was actually her idea), all of his and her dolls' hair, his wig from his Halloween costume, numerous shirts, and his finger intentionally once to see how it would feel. I was pretty hysterical about that last one, but I really do think there's something fascinating about scissors and cause and effect with kids this age. I really wouldn't worry about it too much.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

If it were just her toy I wouldn't worry about it - she'd just have to live with a toy with short hair.

But, sounds like it is also her sister's? If so, I'd find her some work she could do around the house to earn the money to replace the toy.

My son (when he was 4yo) ruined one of my mom's really nice kitchen spoons in a blender. I was standing right there with him while making a smoothie. He knew not to touch the switch with the spoon in the blender (once I put the lid on and tell him he it's ready he turns the blender on). But, he got excited and did it anyway. I tried to turn it off but pushed the switch too far and it took me a couple of tries to get it turned off. Because I couldn't get it turned off as fast as I wanted to I told him I would split the price with him to replace it.

He gets "jobs" around our house to earn money. Not chores but other age appropriate stuff. His favorite is to vacuum out the cars (he usually does more playing than vacuuming but he is learning). So, he vacuumed out both cars, we paid him his money and then he had to hand it back to us to pay for replacing the spoon.

It was a learning experience for him. It wasn't punishment but he remembers the natural consequences of having to replace it.

Since you left out the scissors maybe offer to split the cost with her???

Best wishes.


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## sweetpeppers (Dec 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meems* 
when i was about 5, i cut all of my baby doll's hair off. barbie's hair, buzz cut, cabbage patch kids, cut. i was imagining and playing and was interested in becoming a hair dresser at the time. i was never punished for it. they were mine... my mom is always telling people how i cut all of my doll's hair when i was 5... so i think punishing is a bit much. if you don't want her to do it again, just put the scissors away.

We cut the hair off everything at certain ages. My little brother butchered my older brother's lion's mane, and he was pretty mad. We got punished for lots of stuff, but I don't remember any punishments for cutting stuffed animals hair. I think it's enough that she knows that her older sister is upset.


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## ilovebabies (Jun 7, 2008)

When my oldest dd was 4 she cut her own hair off. And at various other ages she cut the hair off her barbies, dolls, things like that. Kids just love scissors and it's to tempting for them!

Since she did know the rules and she broke them, I would at least have a sit down talk with her about that. Also, I would probably tell her that she's unable to use the scissors (for crafts or anything) for a certain period of time. Otherwise, it's very typical childlike behavior and I'd let it go. Just keep the adult scissors put up.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

I like to leave crafty things out on the art table all the time so that the kids can make creations at their leisure. They understand the rules (gluesticks, markers, crayons, pencils, and scissors never leave the table, and they aren't to be used to mark toys, books (other than coloring/activity books), or people unless I am present to supervise and they get my permission.

A few months ago, I followed a trail of fluff to find that they'd cut a ton of hair off their stuffed animals. I didn't get angry, and when they started blaming each other and "I didn't do it", I explained politely that I was sorry but the scissors were going to go away for a week, after that I would re-evaluate whether or not I felt they were ready to have that kind of tool out at all times. After the week was up, we talked, and they were allowed to have the scissors out after school and before bedtime but they got put up at night until after school the next day. The week after that, I agreed they could have the scissors out in the art bin.

It hasn't been a problem since, but if it happens again, I might put the scissors away for a longer time period with no use.

It's harder when you've got a broader age range though. Mine are 17 months and 1 minute apart, so there's not a huge disparity in what I feel they are trustworthy to handle free access to, when it comes to tools.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

I think that telling her your upset, combined with seeing her sister upset, plus the fact that her horses don't have any hair - which means at some point she'll want to brush them & realize its not as fun anymore when they don't have hair, is probably "punishment" enough. Remind her of the rule, express your disappointment. But a separate punishment, IMO, isn't necessary. (please keep in mind I only have a nearly 2 yr old & a 4 yr old).


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

three sets of sheets, own hair, at least three shirts over the course of 5 years. My DD has had scissors privileges revoked MANY times, and still at 7, she'll occasionally cut something she's not supposed to.

My story- she has that golden white hair of childhood, and she was born with heaps, so by two she had hair long enough for braids and puppy dog ears. She also had a Kathe Kruse doll with the same color of hair (mohair). I walked into her room (remember she was !!2!!) and she was swiftly sticking something into a bag. I see all this white hair (LOTS and LOTS) strewn over the floor, and I am thinking, "Oh, please let it be the doll's!" But no- my daughter with the gorgeous hair now had a mullet, self administered. I had no idea a 2yo was capable of giving herself a mullet. Ah, we are punished for our hubris...

Anyway- she still cuts stuff.


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