# No peanut butter at my children's school



## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

We are not allowed to make PB&J's or PB&H for our children's lunches. Plus we are told to have a "healthy" mid morning snack for them that does not include peanuts or eggs. The newsletter actually advocated a HERSHEY bar as a good snack.














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Any ideas for stable, non spoiling HEALTHY food for lunch and snack?







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## Threefold (Nov 27, 2001)

Can you send soy nut butter? Other nut butters?
Snack ideas:

dry cereal
nori
carrot sticks
cereal bars
veggie chips
dried fruit
sliced fresh fruit (does okay in my experience in a temperate climate)
Freeze a juice or milk aseptic pack and use that as a cold pack in a perishable lunch. It keeps the food fresh and is usually melted enough by lunchtime oe afterschool to drink.
freeze a tube yogurt and it will thaw by lunch and still be fresh.

(all of these things can be







: )


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

If it's just peanut butter that's on the no-no list and not all nut butters you could do almond butter or cashew butter.

Cheese?
beans?
yogurt?

-Angela


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## time4another (Mar 28, 2005)

Well, you can make Muffins w/o eggs, fruit leathers, and nut & egg free granola bars...LMK if you need hints for baking w/o eggs.

I wish my school would go egg and peanut free...







:

I would be annoyed about the Hershey bar suggestion too though, there are plenty of healthy snacks that don't contain eggs or peanuts!!!

Heather
(who's DD1 has a peanut/egg allergy)


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## Chanley (Nov 19, 2001)

Most places will ask you to NOT use any nut butters because they are usually processed on machines that process peanuts.

Kids who have these life threatening allergies are SOO sensitive that it is best to be safe.

Hummus and veggies
Fruit and a yogurt based dip (plain yogurt, fresh fruit and honey pureed)
Healthy Jello (100% fruit juice, knox gelatin, fresh fruit)


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## beccaboo (Nov 30, 2001)

Question since Chanley mentioned hummus: my ds's preschool, which was previously peanut-free, has now gone tree-nut free. The information they gave out said we can't bring hummus for snack time now. I was confused about that; I know there are sesame seeds in hummus (tahini) but they are seeds, not nuts. Anyone know why hummus wouldn't be acceptable?


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## LovemyBoo (Oct 11, 2004)

Hummus is made from chick-peas, which are a legume like peanuts. So maybe some of the kids who are allergic to peanuts are also allergic to chick peas? That's my official guess.


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## cjr (Dec 2, 2003)

No nuts, no seeds, no eggs, no beans. Pretty much all the alternative protein choices.

No eggs, even in baked goods? That's a little extream in my opinion. I can see nuts if they have a child with a known food allergy attending school. They are making it very difficult.They are taking the problem of one child with allergies and making it the problem of the whole school. IMO I think it's an unfair situation you are in. I understand the severity of peanut allergies and my heart goes out to those families and I try to do my best when packing the girls lunches, but eggs and beans are very extream. I can't see a child having an allergic reaction to an egg or bean vapor from some other childs muffin. I could be wrong, but I just can't see it. Educating the kids to not share lunches would be a much better approach. Like I said, I understand peanut allergies and that even the smell of the oil can set it off. Peanut free schools are fine.

I asked my kid's school about almond butter and was told it was OK as long as the girls understood that they should not be sharing their lunches. No peanuts though, which is fine. I don't like the girls eating meat more than once a day, and we eat meat for supper with dh. I prefer they eat other protien choices to get a broad range of nutrients in their diet. They have a very long day and I pack a very large healthy lunch with snacks for them. I would be raising a stink if they were not allowed any other protien choices. Eggs are an important part of our diet. Eggs are an important ingredient for me. So are beans. We eat soups almost daily in the fall and winter and I put beans in every one of them.


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

I made the mistake hummus myself. So far we are doing, cream cheese sandwiches, tofu boloney, greek cheese,(yogurt the thickness of cream cheese) and of course fresh fruit.

I LOVE peanut butter, I get it from my local "sundance", grind the nuts right there. I work hard to make sure my children are getting quality foods, with protein.


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## tboroson (Nov 19, 2002)

Dumb question... what's PB&H? Peanut butter and ham? :LOL Ok, it's probably something really obvious and I'm going to smack myself in the forehead after you tell me...

I'm told that tree nut allergies frequenty trigger/coexist with sesame allergies, which is why tree nut allergy sufferers avoid sesame.

I've found sunflower seed butter at Trader Joe's. I haven't tried it yet, but I hear it's good. A friend who's child is allergic to peanuts and soy uses it safely.

I'm guessing you're looking for protein options, as fruit-and-veggie and grain ideas are pretty simple







If you get an insulated lunchbox, you could easily send along meats. Chicken, salmon, slices of leftover anything. With a thermos, you can send along soup or chili. Yogurt is a good option. Black beans - refried, you could spread them on a tortilla with sour cream or guacamole or anything else yummy, and roll it up. Or you can make a black bean salad. Falafel. Homemade jerky - my daughter *loves* jerky.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

man. peanut butter and eggs are teh staples of our diet. makes me glad I homeschool.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tboroson*
Dumb question... what's PB&H? Peanut butter and ham? :LOL Ok, it's probably something really obvious and I'm going to smack myself in the forehead after you tell me...

I would guess peanut butter and honey.

-Angela


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## reeseccup (Jul 3, 2003)

SUNBUTTER!!! It's specifically made and checked to make sure no peanuts or remnants of peanuts get in...it's yummy!!!

http://www.sunbutter.com/

how about tortillas with creamcheese and other stuffers, raw veggies and dip, fresh fruit (apples are good sliced up with some lime juice over them to keep them from browning).


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## beccaboo (Nov 30, 2001)

Hmm, I was thinking the chick peas were actually beans (you know, garbanzo beans!). That's interesting about sesame seeds & tree nut allergies. If that's the rationale then they ought to specify no sesame seeds (like on multi-grain bread) or butter...


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## luvmykidz (Feb 19, 2004)

I don't know about garbonzo beans, but soy beans are a legume... I had better check though-DS has an autoimmune disease caused by delayed alleric reactions (so it's hard to pinpoint specific food culprits) and he tested positive for soy, peas and peanuts- which makes me wonder if we should just avoid legumes altogether. And hummus is a fav of his! He is also allergic to corn... I don't know how I'm going to feed the kid! Oopps- got OT -sorry! Our school has very strick food guidelines as well- my only suggestions are those already mentioned.


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## HB2 (Jun 27, 2005)

Wow! That seems really unfair. I agree with cjr--it would be much better to teach the children not to share. Especially when these foods are really good alternate sources of protein (not to mention easy to pack). Just wanted to sympathize. My twins are only 20 mos. but the more I read about the school systems these days, the more I'm leaning towards homeschooling!


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## musemor (Mar 19, 2004)

A couple of lunch/snack ideas that haven't been mentioned:

Quinoa is high protein and works well as a salad base (I even like it with just a simple lemon-olive oil vinaigrette). I regularly substitute it for rice or couscous to up the protein value of a meal. Good hot or cold with veggies on top, underneath chili or bean soup, etc. It's fast to make, too, and refrigerates well (doesn't get hard like white rice).

Polenta cubes (or other shapes) are excellent snacking material. You can mix in cheese, veggies, fruit, shredded meat/poultry/seafood, or whatever you like when the polenta is still soft, then spread it out to cool/harden and cut into snackable pieces. They are good with various dips, too (tomato sauce, salsa, yogurt-herb, etc.).


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

What about apples, nectarines, bananas, grapes or other fruits/veggies? They are easy to eat and don't spoil. We also do cut up fruit if it is able to stay cold with a cold pack. Lunch might be soup in a thermos, another kind of sandwich such as chicken salad or ham, or salad?


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

I really just posted this FYI. No real point to it. I do believe it points out how inconsiderate my kid's school is, but we transferred schools this year. Anyway......

The public school my kids are districted for recently put a peanut and pine nut ban into effect.

The administration won't allow any type of butter (soy, etc) because the teachers won't be able to tell the difference.

Teachers are confiscating (did I spell that right?) lunches and snacks from kids whose parents send it in. Once a child's lunch has been confiscated, they aren't allowed to replace it with a school lunch. Parents have been instructed to bathe immediately before coming to the school.

The school advertises EVERYWHERE for chick-fil-a, whom I believe cooks everything in peanut oil!

Also, the school doesn't allow 'messy' snacks. That rules out most of the above suggestions. Yogurt etc......

Oh! I've been thinking about this a lot, since it is happening to us. Quick question - I'm sure somebody here can clue me in.
What about kids who are severly allergic to dairy products or latex products? Don't they need the same consideration? Are peanut allergies just that much more prevalent?


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

I am really trying to be understanding and thinking that having a peanut allergy must be simular to a disability. We want all children to be in a safe place for them at school.

But now, they have now added all legumes to the ban list. Eggs must be fully cooked and products containing eggs must be eaten at the "egg table." So now what am I supposed to feed my children? They got tofu boloney today, on wheat bread, tomarrow, maybe tofu cheese? I am trying to stay with a high protein, low spoil food. (like any of the nut butters) I really am to the point of saying screw it, and just having the kids buy their lunch at the school.








****which might be the point of having all these rules****

What is this Quinoa you speak of?


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## Chanley (Nov 19, 2001)

Well it really is a disability. I have heard of kids who get in a shopping cart at the store and someone in the cart before ate something with peanuts and they have an anaphilactic shock reaction. Just because you have an epi-pen does not mean it is going to be ok. Those epi pens just buy more time to get to the hospital. It is that serious.

I know some moms who have to take thier kids home when the ice cream truck comes around because the residue from milk on the other kids hands will cause thier kids to go into shock.

It is not as simple as teaching them not to share. God knows, my 5 year old will not think of touching food that is not ok. She stays far away. A child who has had a bad reaction will not want to share questionable food. Self preservation.


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## MamaE (May 1, 2004)

This thread is making me







! I guess this is what I have to look forward to when my dd goes off to school.

I totally understand the no peanut rule. It's only fair to keep all kids safe. I just imagine how I would feel if my dd had a peanut allergy. They are so deadly.

What got me is the OP's last post saying all legumes are banned and that there's a special egg table??? I mean, how many kids are we talking about that are allergic in this school? 5-10-20-100?? Seriously, though. How much easier would it be to just have those kids eat their lunches in a separate room?

And, soy is a legume and a top allergen at that. I'm shocked they still let you bring anything with soy. That's probably next, OP. :LOL Keep us updated and good luck!


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Can anyone help me understand why peanut allergies are so common now? Or is this not a new thing to have so many with such an allergy?

I would be highly frustrated packing my kids' lunches if we had these rules at our school. (My son takes hummus every day! And both take peanut butter frequently.)

I don't think making children with nut allergies eat in a separate room is the answer, though. But that and the ban seem to be the only options.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Basically they have no idea why these severe allergies are on the rise. Some have mentioned a possible link with vaxs- who knows. They can't limit the allergic kids- they are entitled to a free appropriate education too- it's not fair to ask them to eat in isolation. I agree that it must be very difficult to be in a school with major restrictions.

Most schools will be peanut free though soon I think- it's just too dangerous for too many kids.

-Angela


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## boston (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka*
man. peanut butter and eggs are teh staples of our diet. makes me glad I homeschool.

makes me glad my kid isn't allergic!


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## bluets (Mar 15, 2005)

My guess is that peanut allergies are so common now because a lot of foods are processed (period) and particularly a lot of foods are processed in plants that also process peanuts. Moreover, add in the fact that soy (a legume, related distantly to peanuts) is in almost everything processed, and you start increasing the likelihood of allergies. Considering that most people in N.America (a) formula feed (exposure to soy) and then (b) rely on packaged/processed food. No big surprise that legume allergies are increasing.


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## musemor (Mar 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny*
What is this Quinoa you speak of?

Pronounced "keen-wah".
It's a seed (but eats more like a grain), approximately rice-sized. Here's some info. I get mine at Trader Joe's but most NF stores should have it in bulk. We eat it as the starch base of meals and I often throw a handful or two into soups and stews. I like it better than millet or brown rice, my two other favorite grains.

The rules for your kids' lunches seem really extreme! I'm guessing it's a liability issue? They must have some severely allergic kids with "involved" parents, or else are responding pre-emptively to a problem that has occurred at another school. Regular cafeteria food is so icky for the most part...but it sounds like you might have to abandon the sandwich-model for lunches, since your options for fillings are so limited!

I was a packed-lunch kid and I remember really liking cream cheese sandwiches with sprouts. I even had a girl bully me one year because she wanted to eat my cream cheese and sprout sandwiches. Cream cheese is also pretty good with jelly if your kids aren't into sprouts. I like the Tofutti brand of non-dairy cream cheese, if you're trying to avoid dairy. It's lower fat, too. I also really liked soup in a thermos with crackers and cheese on the side.

I bring my lunch to work now and my favorite lunches are impromptu pasta salads. I make extra shaped (spirals, shells, whatever) pasta for dinner and then add veggies, canned beans, pieces of cheese, olives, herbs, vinaigrette (sometimes just a splash of olive oil and squeeze of lemon), etc. to make a quick salad. They're never complicated and usually just thrown together from whatever is in the fridge. I do similar things with leftover or frozen brown rice and leftover vegetables...I slice up some tofu cubes on top and throw them together with a splash of soy sauce and rice vinegar. I've been doing "breakfast for lunch" occasionally by making a container with yogurt, muesli (the real kind, not the cereal box kind), a sliced banana, and a drizzle of honey. By lunch the muesli has hydrated and it's very yummy and filling. That might be too weird for kids, though, I don't know.

The bento moblog has been really inspirational for me as far as lunch-packing goes...it's sort of lunch beyond the sandwich. Her stuff is more time consuming but you might find some good ideas in there.


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaE*
This thread is making me







! And, soy is a legume and a top allergen at that. I'm shocked they still let you bring anything with soy. That's probably next, OP. :LOL Keep us updated and good luck!











OOPs I think I may have broken the ban. I am not concerned about dairy so much as things spoiling. Plus I will admitt that I am too lazy/cheap to buy more than a couple of ice packs for the kids lunch bags. I often forget to freeze their naglene bottles at night.

BTW we are talking about 6 kids out of 300. Only one of which is HIGHLY allergic. Her parents are VERY active, this is school that you have to choose to be in.

I just find it interesting that the needs/rights of one are greater than the rights of the masses.


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## Chanley (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny*
I just find it interesting that the needs/rights of one are greater than the rights of the masses.


Umm if your child could DIE from exposure, this is ANY exposure, i think you would understand why others would have to be inconvenienced. A kid eats pb has some oil on his hand or shirt and smears it by accident on the table and the oil gets on the skin of the allergic kid....then WHAMMO!

Ohh adn about soy, I am sure they exist, but many soy 'allergies" are intolerances. There is a BIG difference between an allergy and an intolerance. Both are life threatening, one immediately and the other long term.

Rather than being put off or feel inconvenienced, just be thankful it is not your reality to worry.


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## tboroson (Nov 19, 2002)

I read one interesting, albeit morbid, reasoning for why life threatening allergies are on the rise. It may be partly because, well, in the past, kids who had allergic reactions... died.

There have also been studies associating food alleries, as well as hayfever allergies, to homes that are too clean! T'would seem that if your immune system doesn't get a regular workout, it starts looking for other things to attack.

Knowing how dangerous even a couple molecules of allergen are, I have no complaints about schools putting restrictions in place. I do, however, think that the schools ought to provide reasonable lists of healthful alternatives rather than leaving parents floundering. And, I think (not just in these instances, but in general,) that schools need to get on the ball about providing more healthful lunches. If their lunches were appealing and healthful, I think they'd have far more takers and they could control for things like this far more easily. But that's a whole other rant









I'm so glad we homeschool. I neither have to deal with these sorts of things, nor, should either of my kids develop an allergy, will I ever have to fear for them in the presence of 300 other kid's lunches...


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chanley*
Umm if your child could DIE from exposure, this is ANY exposure, i think you would understand why others would have to be inconvenienced. A kid eats pb has some oil on his hand or shirt and smears it by accident on the table and the oil gets on the skin of the allergic kid....then WHAMMO!
.


I was not talking specifically about this, but now I am. I do have some feeling that if you are that deadly allergic to a COMMON child friendly food, you have to take some responsibility for your own safety. If putting my child into public school exposed them to a potentially deadly toxin I would choose to homeschool. That way I KNOW I could control her/his enviroment.

School lunches are not the highest quality of food. Say you have a poor, health food savy mom that does not want her children to eat the crap the school serves but can not afford to put a more expensive protein in her child's lunch, what do you suggest for her????

I am thankful that my children do not have deadly food allergies. My daughter has a deadly bee sting allergy, and I do protect her from them, as well as carry an epi. I do not however make my local bee keepers torch their hives.

I have sympathy for the mom and child in my daughter's class, otherwise I would just send my daughter with her favorite sandwiches everyday.


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## Dakota's Mom (Apr 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna*
Basically they have no idea why these severe allergies are on the rise. Some have mentioned a possible link with vaxs- who knows.

-Angela


My son's allergies are directly tied to the prevnar immunization. He did not receive this one in Guatemala. So when he came here at 5 1/2 months he got the first one. Within days he began having reflux and ashtma. The only changes in his diet were that we took the cereal out of his bottle and put him on organic formula. He didn't have any reaction to the change until he had this immunization. Six weeks later he had the second prevnar and almost immediately became very ill with asthma and was put on a nebulizer. He got so bad that they thought he had cystic fibrosis. From this point on he became sicker and sicker. We never gave him the third prevnar and in fact no other immunizations from that point on. We have worked with his diet, eliminated all of the allergens and the list was long. Then we put him on probiotics, cod liver oil, vitamin c and a supplement called Iberogast to heal his tummy. Now at age three, we are able to add foods back into his diet that he couldn't eat before. He has not had asthma since he was 15 months old and has not had reflux since he was 13 months old. By taking away wheat and dairy we have been able to take him off all meds.

Our day care does not allow peanut butter because the child care provider's granddaughter is allergic. They also do not allow fish for the same reason. She is also allergic to milk and wheat but they allow them. We send 3 quarts of milk (rice dream) a week for our son. And I pack his lunch every day. It is hard feeding kids with allergies but I take responsibility for what he eats. And I trust the child care provider to make sure he doesn't share his lunch with others. There are only four kids there most of the time so this isn't a major problem. When he was in a large day care, it was constantly a problem. I would come in and find him covered with cookie crumbs and they would insist that he did not eat any cookies or he stole the chips out of another kids hand before they could stop him. One day they had another child's bottle in his bag, but of course they said he didn't drink the cow's milk. That and the broken arm is why he now attends a small in home center.

I agree with not allowing peanut butter even though I wish I could send it. There are just some days it would be easier to send than cooking something special. We are learning to rely on sliced turkey for those days, (as long as it is smoked flavoring free.)

Kathi


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Chanley--

Quote:

I know some moms who have to take thier kids home when the ice cream truck comes around because the residue from milk on the other kids hands will cause thier kids to go into shock.










Quote:

Umm if your child could DIE from exposure, this is ANY exposure, i think you would understand why others would have to be inconvenienced.




















































I don't usually let smilies speak for me, but this issue tears at my soul and I tend to get too emotional. We homeschool, but I recognize and support any mama who doesn't have that option.

Missy


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## Poddi (Feb 18, 2003)

Hmm, my son is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, fish, shellfish and a few seeds. The pre-school he's attending only banned peanuts and that's good enough for us. I don't see why they need to ban allergens that are not usually deadly. Anybody heard of eggs killed people (through contact, or vapor or trace amount)? We still eat eggs and fish at home, I just make alternatives for DS. His allergies never stopped us from going out and doing fun activities. Just be more careful about food and we all wash hands a lot.

My point is I think it's OK for schools to ban stuff that their students are severely allergic to. The allergies should be proven. It's ridiculous to ban legume because it's the same family as peanuts, if the child is not severely allergic to legume. I also think banning those "mayb contain trace amount of ..." stuff is a bit too much. It should be allowed as long as the kids learn not to share food and wash hands after eating.

BTW, does anybody think schools and public places for children should have more and easier handwashing facilities? A couple taps on each floor in the bathroom isn't exactly convenient. I remember my old school had "wash" rooms that's just a long narrow room with 10 - 12 taps along the wall, just for washing hands. If there are such things beside eating areas kids are much more likely to wash hands before and after eating.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

A school- any school- is in loco parentis. It is their responsibility to care for and support their students physically and emotionally during the school day, and this involves providing a safe environment for their students. For parents who are screaming "but it's unfair! Why can't my kids eat their favourite foods?" just stop- look at your kids, and thank whatever deity you believe in that they're the lucky ones.
My heart goes out to the mamas with peanut allergies in the family. Thank goodness, my boys have outgrown their dairy allergies, but Isaac still has severe asthma (goes from normal to blue in 3 hours- he's never had a mild attack in his life) and so I can sympathise with some of what you go through. If I were able to identify and control his triggers as easily as excluding nut products from a school, I'd do it in a flash.
I'm a Brit- my county council has a county-wide ban on all nut products in all schools, playgroups, preschools, adult colleges and county workplaces. It's just the way things are nowadays- a sad fact of modern life.


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## boston (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny*
I do have some feeling that if you are that deadly allergic to a COMMON child friendly food, you have to take some responsibility for your own safety. If putting my child into public school exposed them to a potentially deadly toxin I would choose to homeschool. That way I KNOW I could control her/his enviroment.

Say you have a poor, health food savy mom that does not want her children to eat the crap the school serves but can not afford to put a more expensive protein in her child's lunch, what do you suggest for her????

So you're saying that people with deadly allergies to common foods (like pb) ought to homeschool?

What kind of solution is that for a "poor, health food savvy mom..?"

I would suggest chicken salad. Tofu. Cheese. Roast beef. I mean... choosing not to eat the school's lunch and bring one's own very well be an an added cost. But it's NOTHING like the cost of homeschooling. Which for many of these "poor moms" is totally out of the question. My daughter and I live off a very limited income. While we could DEFINITELY afford to skip pb to save a kids' life, we could *not* afford to stay home entirely if she had an allergy. So I guess that it makes a bit more sense to just skip the pb.

I mean, I don't hear any moms of allergic kids complaining that they can't afford to live without the pb. Wonder why that is? Oh right because they've got their priorities straight. Life is more important than an inexpensive convenient sandwich.

And if you're going to use the "but poor moms NEED pb" argument then you can't use the "moms of allergic kids ought to homeschool" argument.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack*
For parents who are screaming "but it's unfair! Why can't my kids eat their favourite foods?" just stop- look at your kids, and thank whatever deity you believe in that they're the lucky ones.

I'm a Brit- my county council has a county-wide ban on all nut products in all schools, playgroups, preschools, adult colleges and county workplaces. It's just the way things are nowadays- a sad fact of modern life.

Hear hear.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

Anybody heard of eggs killed people (through contact, or vapor or trace amount
I have a friend whose daughter is anaphylactic to eggs via both airborne protein and contact. She cannot be around when something with eggs is cooking. I'm one of the moms Chanley describes who goes inside when the ice cream truck appears--and we're usually inside until all the kids who have bought ice cream are in for the night. And, yes, both my friend and I homeschool.

Missy


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

I sure I will continue to be flamed away on this, but if you are that allergic to COMMON (as in everyday zillions of children eat peanutbutter,peanuts)then you need to take responsibility for your OWN child. Why is there an obsession with making your child's problem EVERYONE'S problem?

Oh my Google, I understand that this is a hot button, for many of us. I understand that these children can die because of peanut exposure. What I do not understand is why am I no longer allowed to feed MY child the way I want to on school days. I can not even feed them peanutbutter toast with slices of apple for breakfast at HOME.
I am not using the poor mom's homeschool/ no peanut butter. I am frustrated because of the crappy school lunches, the plight of these poor children, and the lack of common sense. I am saying that if the school is going to place a ban on high quality







: alternative proteins from home, then the school lunches need to be able to provide high quality







: proteins.

MY daughter is deadly allergic to bee stings. Durring certain times of the year, she has to play inside. Should I be able to make ALL the kids play inside because Alyssa is allergic to bee's and can not play outside? Should I advocate a ban on bee keeping in my neighborhood? (urban rural) NO! Alyssa is capable of chosing to come in when there are more than a couple of bees flying around. She is able to give herself her epi pen, and she is able to call 911, go to neighbor's, get to me, for help. Her problem is her's/our's to deal with, not the community.

We need a bit of common sense and some decent alternatives for EVERYONE.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

That was a nasty, cold, spiteful post. But I think you already know that. I think you probably know darn well that people aren't going to tote lunch boxes full of bees to school, nor will it change anything in your child's life to require other children to play inside. Anyone with a brain knows that these are two very different situations and I think you were digging for a rise and, yeah, you got it. To say that you "do not understand is why am I no longer allowed to feed MY child the way I want to on school days" is an amazingly selfish statement and a clear indication that you are putting peanut butter ahead of another child's life and that is completely beyond my comprehension. My child's other life-threatening allergies are far more than I would ever expect a school to accommodate, but peanut allergies are rising very rapidly and we, as a community, beyond the laws that school have to follow, need to support the parents and the children who are living with this. It's NOT THAT HARD!! There are other things a child can eat--peanut butter isn't even that healthy. And requesting that a school go peanut-free is taking care of your child. It would be irresponsible and negligent to send a child to school without appropriate accommodations and that includes requiring the school follow the law. Unfortunately, some people don't have a high regard for the lives of other children and parents are forced to deal with cold, nasty statements.


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

I would worry that one of the 300 kid's parents either did not heed the rule or missed some trace ingredient. I guess i would not want to place my child's life in the hands of 300 people that may or may not have great concern over this. Maybe banning is a fine thing but i think I would still want my allergic child seperated at meal times regardless. My dd is not allergic to anything so this is not an issue for me. But this peanut free thing could make people less careful about hand washing and such which might be worse then just having it at the school but taking specific precautions.

I do struggle with a similar thing as dd is vegan. She will not die if she eats something non-vegan but obviously this is something I want to avoid. I have had many encounters with adults who should know better giving her food without asking me first. as a result she had her first non-vegan food (a Chip's Ahoy cookie) at the gym daycare at 14 months. Considering she did not even eat solids until 12 months, I was livid! What if she had been allergic to something in there? That just taught me I cannot trust anyone to use common sense when it comes to food and children. Now no matter what the circumstances I simply state that dd has a "restricted diet" and she should not be fed ANYTHING without asking me first. I do feel for those of you that have to worry about a life or death reaction in the hands of people that bask in our current food culture.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

I would worry that one of the 300 kid's parents either did not heed the rule or missed some trace ingredient. I guess i would not want to place my child's life in the hands of 300 people that may or may not have great concern over this. Maybe banning is a fine thing but i think I would still want my allergic child seperated at meal times regardless. My dd is not allergic to anything so this is not an issue for me. But this peanut free thing could make people less careful about hand washing and such which might be worse then just having it at the school but taking specific precautions.
This is one of the most commonly used arguments against a ban, and obviously something can still happen, but banning peanuts significantly lessens those dangers. Like wearing a seat belt or a bicycle helmet--it's not a perfect solution, but it does save lives. And it's just good hygeine to practice routinely washing hands anyway.


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Missy, I think a ban on peanuts and peanut butter is not unreasonable. I also don't think it's that hard to do a lunch that excludes peanuts and peanut butter. But it was discussed earlier in this thread that bans are more far-reaching than peanuts. No eggs? No beans? No hummus? No products that may contain trace amounts of peanuts? No decent hot lunch alternative? That is where I become frustrated.

I know for children with these allergies it can be a matter of life and death. But where do we draw a line? Where does accommodating the needs of one encroach too far on the rights of many?

I am asking this with an empathetic heart. I don't know how to word it more gently but want you to know I'm not trying to poke at you.


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## mother nurture (Oct 13, 2004)

WOW! This is an interesting and a bit of a heated thread. I teach at co-op preschool and we don't have a ban on pb. Maybe we should! Currently we don't have any pb or other nut allergies, so it isn't an issue, but in the future this is something to consider! I really don't see an issue w/ things being banned from schools. We










pb, but not having it at lunch wouldn't upset me. I would much rather pass on pb than spend the rest of my life regretting sending my child to school w/ a pb sandwhich and having another child die!!!

OP-I realize that children should learn self-responsibility. But, the fact that you say that children w/ these allergies and their parents should be responsible for themselves is ridiculous! I think that if YOU and YOUR CHILD were to be responsible for giving pb or exposing children w/ pb allergies to pb and a child died-you would see this thing differently. We all need to educate our children; but in order for schools, teachers, parents, and most of all children to be safe-restricting food at lunch for 5 days a week over the course of a school year IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!! I think that as parents we need to be emphathetic to other parents and children and do our part to ensure safety in our schools. Schools are communities.

My dd has no known allergies now, but even w/ a pb ban-if my dd had an allergy I would still be VERY worried b/c of people who have little respect or concern for other children's well being.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny*
I sure I will continue to be flamed away on this, but if you are that allergic to COMMON (as in everyday zillions of children eat peanutbutter,peanuts)then you need to take responsibility for your OWN child. Why is there an obsession with making your child's problem EVERYONE'S problem?

Oh my Google, I understand that this is a hot button, for many of us. I understand that these children can die because of peanut exposure. What I do not understand is why am I no longer allowed to feed MY child the way I want to on school days. I can not even feed them peanutbutter toast with slices of apple for breakfast at HOME.
I am not using the poor mom's homeschool/ no peanut butter. I am frustrated because of the crappy school lunches, the plight of these poor children, and the lack of common sense. I am saying that if the school is going to place a ban on high quality







: alternative proteins from home, then the school lunches need to be able to provide high quality







: proteins.

MY daughter is deadly allergic to bee stings. Durring certain times of the year, she has to play inside. Should I be able to make ALL the kids play inside because Alyssa is allergic to bee's and can not play outside? Should I advocate a ban on bee keeping in my neighborhood? (urban rural) NO! Alyssa is capable of chosing to come in when there are more than a couple of bees flying around. She is able to give herself her epi pen, and she is able to call 911, go to neighbor's, get to me, for help. Her problem is her's/our's to deal with, not the community.

We need a bit of common sense and some decent alternatives for EVERYONE.

I did not find your post spiteful at all. I agree 100% with you. I would like for anyone who supports a ban on food to explain how they feel about their child being forced to play indoors because of your dd's bee allergy. I hope I don't come across as snarky, it's hard to do on these posts sometimes, but I am genuinely curious.

Also, what about the kids who are allergic to latex or dairy or eggs. Shouldn't those be banned as well? What about the school I posted about that refuses to allow soy 'peanut' butter. Or anything that resembles peanut butter.

I agree that the school cafeteria can and should make changes in the kitchen. But honestly, it's a public school, I really don't see how you can force parents to stop sending certain items in their kids lunches.

Like I posted earlier, my kids school has recently attempted to enforce this and it is not working. I would also like to comment that it is absurd for anyone to insist that I refrain from feeding my child peanut butter at home.


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

I really am not trying to be "cold, nasty or spiteful." I am trying to understand. I do not understand why all legumes, and alternative proteins have been banned from our school. (it is our school as well) I do not understand how the school has the right to state what may and may not be eaten in my own home. I am unsure when I moved to a socialist state?


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

Lab,
Thank you. I was thinking I had lost my mind.

I am not a nasty or spiteful person and I did not mean for my post to sound that way.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chellemarie*
Missy, I think a ban on peanuts and peanut butter is not unreasonable. I also don't think it's that hard to do a lunch that excludes peanuts and peanut butter. But it was discussed earlier in this thread that bans are more far-reaching than peanuts. No eggs? No beans? No hummus? No products that may contain trace amounts of peanuts? No decent hot lunch alternative? That is where I become frustrated.

I know for children with these allergies it can be a matter of life and death. But where do we draw a line? Where does accommodating the needs of one encroach too far on the rights of many?

I am asking this with an empathetic heart. I don't know how to word it more gently but want you to know I'm not trying to poke at you.


Thank you chellemarie. That is a super post. Exactly what I'm trying to say! Except you said it so kindly and got your point across much better than I've been able to.


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## ozzyemm (Apr 15, 2005)

Butting in-- does anyone else know that Hershey's bars are made in a plant that processes peanuts???? it says it on the wrapper.

Also, Nacho Cheesier Doritos are made with wheat


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

I have said many many many times that my own child has too many life-threatening allergies to even consider entrusting him to a public school system. He is the child with the anaphylactic allergies to dairy and peanuts and nuts and, yes, latex. I have kept _my posts limited to addressing *peanut and nut allergies*_ because those allergies are so incredibly prevalent and the number of children facing life-threatening allergies to those specific foods is increasing very quickly. No one here has said that schools should ban eggs--someone just said, "what if...?" and a few other people said eggs usually aren't that serious and I simply responded that I know of one child who has an egg allergy that is, indeed, that serious. And they homeschool.

To me, the school that bans foods that *appear* to be made with peanuts (ex: soy butter) is going too far. So deal with the school system. There are ways to work within that.

Quote:

I would like for anyone who supports a ban on food to explain how they feel about their child being forced to play indoors because of your dd's bee allergy.
I addressed this in my earlier post. It is NOT even close to being the same thing. Kids do not walk around with bee venom on the hands, nor are they going to carry a lunch box full of bees to school. That's just common sense.

And boobybunny, no matter how you interpret it: this

Quote:

Why is there an obsession with making your child's problem EVERYONE'S problem?
and this:

Quote:

I understand that these children can die because of peanut exposure. What I do not understand is why am I no longer allowed to feed MY child the way I want to on school days.
are nasty, spiteful statements. You clearly understand that a child can die, but it's not your problem. And that's the attitude that gets me every time. Long before I had a child with severe allergies I certainly would have taken another child's life much more seriously. So it's inconvenient. Deal with a little inconvenience for the sake of supporting a family who has probably seen far too little empathy and support and who could use a community that would take that extra step and truly care for their child and not dwell on their lost PB&J.

Missy


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

And you clearly do not understand that by discounting my daughter's allergy you yourself are being rude and spiteful.

My frustration level has risen to the point of boiling. I really do not give a damn that my children can not have peanut butter in school. I do have issue with the fact most of the alternative proteins have been banned from our school. I have CLEARLY stated that I have empathy for this family. I am trying to work within the school to have the school lunches brought up in quality.

If I were really cold, nasty and spiteful do you think I would be respecting the ban or do you think I would say screw that child, my daughters right to peanut butter is more important and feed it to her anyway.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

I'm not discounting your child's allergy; we've dealt with that, too. BUT, it is not the same as banning peanut products. You cannot ban bees; no one has any control over that. We can, however, control peanuts. BIG difference. I don't ban the ice cream truck from my neighborhood; we deal with it. We remove ourselves instead. That is a practical solution. We remove dairy from our house and, when the neighbors come outside with cheese sticks, we go in the house.

If you truly had empathy for this family, you would not state that it's not fair that you can't feed your child certain things on school days just because it might kill another child. Sorry, that's not empathetic. It's not empathetic to compare a clearly containable food to bees. And to make that comparison is over the top.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

boobybunny









I am so sorry. Just wanted you to know that your post is not viewed that way by me. I am baffled how people (general people) demand literally demand everyone have empathy and consideration for them, but absolutely refuse to give it back or even attempt to consider someone else.


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## MamaE (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chellemarie*
I know for children with these allergies it can be a matter of life and death. But where do we draw a line? Where does accommodating the needs of one encroach too far on the rights of many?

My thoughts exactly. I have all the empathy in the world for these people and I certainly wouldn't knowingly do anything to put them in harm's way. However, I also think that the few who need to be accommodated ought not demand it at the expense and incovenience of the many.

And, fwiw, OP, I never caught even a hint of rude or spiteful from your posts. I totally understand your frustration. I think, as we've seen, that it's just a hot button for those in the trenches dealing with children who have these allergies and I am sure that's why they come out with their fists swinging. Can we feel the MDC love now??


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Okay, someone very patiently and slowly explain to me how banning outdoor play because of bees is even remotely the same as banning peanuts. Peanut oils are known to stick to surfaces: fingers, water fountains, desks, chairs, etc... I know of no incident where a child has been impacted by another child playing outside with the bees. Airborne peanut dust can kill a child; as far as I know, bee venom is not an airborne concern. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING. I am not asking for consideration for my child--he will not go to school. I don't even ask my neighbors to limit their dairy or nut consumption to the house. I just think that, in the interest of supporting other parents who have to send their child to school, it would be best not gripe about someone's right to a sandwich over another child's right to live. That's just petty.


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## Threefold (Nov 27, 2001)

I'm not reading that boobybunny has issue with the peanut ban at school, but with the ban at home and the ban on many alternative proteins. But she did come here simply to seek ideas for alternative that met the requirements of the ban, which seems pretty respecful, imo.
I'd have issue with the ban at home too, and would choose to be certain that my child washed his/her hands well before leaving the house each morning. As a K teacher I would simply have hand washing at the door (easy to do with tubs of warm soapy water) a part of my opening routine.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
Okay, someone very patiently and slowly explain to me how banning outdoor play because of bees is even remotely the same as banning peanuts. Peanut oils are known to stick to surfaces: fingers, water fountains, desks, chairs, etc... I know of no incident where a child has been impacted by another child playing outside with the bees. Airborne peanut dust can kill a child; as far as I know, bee venom is not an airborne concern. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING. I am not asking for consideration for my child--he will not go to school. I don't even ask my neighbors to limit their dairy or nut consumption to the house. I just think that, in the interest of supporting other parents who have to send their child to school, it would be best not gripe about someone's right to a sandwich over another child's right to live. That's just petty.

You're missing the entire point of the post Missy. It's not _just_ a sandwich. It's demanding parents shower before coming to the school. It's banning legumes, it's dictating what I feed my child at home. It's sending home a letter telling me how to shop and what to look for in ingredients. It is not just peanut butter. That's the whole issue. Where do you draw the line?

You said, "I don't even ask my neighbors to limit their dairy....." as if you have the right to do that and kindly decided not to? Perhaps I'm reading too much into your post, but you seem very defensive. I'm sure it's because your child's very life is in danger. I can't begin to fathom the stress of dealing with that every day.

Boobybunny has been nothing but considerate.


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
. I don't ban the ice cream truck from my neighborhood; we deal with it. We remove ourselves instead. That is a practical solution. We remove dairy from our house and, when the neighbors come outside with cheese sticks, we go in the house.

If you truly had empathy for this family, you would not state that it's not fair that you can't feed your child certain things on school days just because it might kill another child. Sorry, that's not empathetic. It's not empathetic to compare a clearly containable food to bees. And to make that comparison is over the top.

You choose to remove yourselves rather than the potential threat. I admire that, and that I can respect. You are not making your child's problem a problem for the rest of the block.








I did not state that it is not fair that I can not feed my children they way I want. I am frustrated because I am having to come up with new and unusual food for my children, but we are dealing with it.
I do think if someone has such an allergy that another's peanut breath can cause death, then there should be precautions made by the parents. Those percautions should not include everyone that child may come in contact with be banned from peanuts. We should and have taught our children about washing up to bicepts, and brushing teeth when eating peanuts. If a child is so allergic that those precautions are not good enough, then it is time to look into homeschooling.

To compare one deadly allergy to another is not over the top. It may be a bit oranges and kumquats.

So let's agree Missy that you and I disagree on this and stop with the nastiness.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

The OP was not rude or spiteful or ugly, but the subsequent comments about it not being everybody else's problem were just unnecessary. If she had gracefully taken the many suggestions, great; but it turned into a vent about not be able to feed her child whatever she wanted. That's sad.

As far as peanut butter in the morning before school? The request to avoid it probably came because too many kids eat a baggy of cereal or a pop tart or a doughnut (with nuts) in the car on the way to school. If you fed your child, oh, a waffle with peanut butter and bananas (one of our favorite breakfasts before we had a child with a peanut allergy. And a severe banana allergy) give him breakfast first, then a thorough wash-up (we always do baths in the morning anyway) and brush his teeth. That's all that's necessary. I think the school just wants parents to think before they head off in the car loaded with peanut butter toast...


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

It is sad that children are not able to eat their favorite foods. It is sad that there are days when Alyssa can not go out to play. it is sad that your child has to come inside when the tinkle of an icecream truck comes up the block.


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Missy,

I don't think a bee sting allergy is the same as a peanut allergy. It isn't the same thing.

I also see that you agree that a "anything that looks like peanut butter" ban is also overboard. I appreciate that.

FWIW - I have a sensitivity to aspartame. It causes me to have an asthma attack. For me, avoiding NutraSweet is easy. If the tea is sweetened and I don't feel comfortable asking the host how she sweetened it, I don't drink it. I don't drink punch or kool-aid at social gatherings if I haven't seen it made. I don't accept Jell-o, gum, mints, "ice cream" from weight concious friends, etc. because I know those things are potentially dangerous for me. (Even the lovely ladies at my favorite coffee spot know my latte can't be made accidentally with the sugar free flavoring.)

But that doesn't mean I'm going to have a severe and potentially fatal reaction if someone next to me pops a piece of NutraSweet gum in their mouth and breathes on me or touches my hand. It's simply not the same thing. Personal responsibility and accountability only goes so far with a peanut allergy. I think that's why it's such a hot button topic for both sides. Nut butters and hummus and soy and eggs aren't bad for everyone and are quite good for most. But for a few kids, those things can be deadly. Many of those things are used as substitutes for some other food that isn't desireable or as nutritious as others. So, when you take those out of the mix, what do you substitute for those? How will the school district accomodate the needs of ALL its students?

The best answer is a seriously decent school lunch program. Unfortunately, it's the most improbable answer.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

To compare one deadly allergy to another is not over the top. It may be a bit oranges and kumquats.
I can live with oranges and kumquats.







Thank you for listening...

lab, this statement: _Why is there an obsession with making your child's problem EVERYONE'S problem?_ just wasn't considerate.









Yes, I am a little defensive. I have a child who isn't invited to the birthday parties of the kids he plays with everyday because the parents can't fathom a party without balloons or ice cream. I have a child who dances at the window to the music on the ice cream truck, but can't go outside after it comes. Of course it's not within my rights to ban dairy or latex balloons. That was my point. I don't ask parents to do those things even though it would make my child's life a lot more "normal", but it is not unreasonable for a school to ban peanuts, particularly since they have a legal obligation.

I very much appreciate boobybunny's gracious response.

Missy


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## Poddi (Feb 18, 2003)

I hope I don't offend anybody by suggesting this: What's wrong with plain old meat and cheese sandwiches for lunch? Or even tuna or chicken sandwich? Surely the nutrition can't be worse than nut butter and tofu? I suppose that's not good if you're vegan or vegetarian but most people are not.

At least for us, meat is the healthiest choice for my family because we can't have nuts, legume, seeds, fish, shellfish, rice, some leafy green veggies and root veggies. My DS is growing well even though he can't eat all those.


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## Chanley (Nov 19, 2001)

I think the issue with those things is that they would need refrigeration. A warm soggy tuna sandwhich just makes me wanna hurl.

As for lunch ideas....think outside of the sandwhich. If it does not need to be cold, then think warm.

Soup in a thermos.
Yogurt with fruit to dip it in. Add some wheat germ or nut free trail mix (a mix of oats, butter, rapadura and dried fruit). It is made and cultured with heat, I do not see why a few hours in an air conditioned room and an ice pack would hurt it.

Cheese cubes and apples.

Will your kid peel and eat a boiled egg? Mine will on occasion. Those are protein packed and ohh so portable.

Leftover homemade pizza. Who needs pizza hot? If you load it with veggies and just use leftovers for lunch???YUM! I used to do french bread pizza back when we were not restricted. I cut a baguette in half lengthwise, cracked open a can of spaghetti sauce (pref marinara). Smear the baguette with sauce, add fresh veggies as high as I could stack it and then top with cheese and bake until cheese is melted.

Salami is a meat that is easy to transport.

You could make the equivalent of a lunchable but only healthy.

Now...I am saddened by others lack of empathy.
To wonder how far we have to be inconvenienced by others ailments is just...well...incredibly self centered.


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Poddi*
I hope I don't offend anybody by suggesting this: What's wrong with plain old meat and cheese sandwiches for lunch? Or even tuna or chicken sandwich? Surely the nutrition can't be worse than nut butter and tofu? I suppose that's not good if you're vegan or vegetarian but most people are not.

At least for us, meat is the healthiest choice for my family because we can't have nuts, legume, seeds, fish, shellfish, rice, some leafy green veggies and root veggies. My DS is growing well even though he can't eat all those.

I put cold packs in my kids' lunches so they can take meat and cheese. However, I think some parents try to limit meat and dairy or are vegetarian or vegan.

Again, I can see restricting peanut and peanut butter at school. But when the list starts growing and more healthy-if-you're-not-allergic foods get banned, I think we need to look at other alternatives. "We" being parents and SCHOOLS. "SCHOOLS" being cafeterias.

(I'm sort of anti-most public school cafeterias, see.)


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Then maybe what is needed is (I know, flame away?) a coherent national strategy? So that it's established either that the dangers of nut allergy are so great that it must be kept out of public school, or else that they aren't. That seeds need to be kept out- or not. That dairy needs to be kept out- or not.
To the poster who was screaming "socialism! socialism!" there are no 100% socialist countries in the world. The one that comes closest, China, does not have a peanut ban in place in their classrooms as yet.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

A few other ideas (coming from what my family does ourselves - being dairy, egg, peanut, shellfish avoiders due to severe allergy)

- whole-grain crackers (no bread because of dairy & egg avoidance)
- cut up veggies and fruit (sometimes with safe dips, sometimes plain)
- thermos' of soup / chili / stew
- safe dry cereal (cheerios, rice crispies, mini wheats)

We have opted to homeschool - our child would need a complete dairy ban in his classroom to be safe, as he reacts on contact to dairy. Meaning - child A eats a sandwhich and touches the desk, my son comes along and touches that same desk - we've got a minimum of full-out hives and wheezing. I am thankful every day that he does not react to air-born dairy particles. And that his egg allergy (yes, even to trace amounts, even in baked goods, etc) is on ingestion only.

A child in Pre-K or K simply does not have the concept of NOT sharing. No matter how much we try to teach them not to share, they do. A little bit here, a bite there - it happens.

To those who do not support a nut ban - have you ever SEEN a child in anaphylactic shock ? Have you watched helpless as a child's face swells and hives come up the size of silver dollars and he goes beat read, eyes swelling to mere slits, breathing becoming a wheeze and laboured, thier pulse racing as they fight for thier very life ?

I have. My son was just shy of his first birthday when I gave him a DROP of milkshake off my finger - a DROP ! And then watched as he clung to life while we raced to the hospital. As long as I live, I will never be able to forget that day, nor let go of the guilt that *I* am the sole cause of his going into shock.

So, do I expect *my* child's medical problems to be a problem to society ? No.
But I sure as heck advocate for any shared space to be made as safe as possible - I have had to fight with a local "Early Years Centre" to get a mandatory snack table and mandatory hand-washing implemented. We had to leave VERY abruptly several times when a parent CHOSE not to comly with those rules. Even when staff there tried to get them to (to the point of asking one family to leave) - it was too late, it was no longer a safe environment for us and we had to leave.

Yes, for my son's health and safety, we have chosen to homeschool him. But that is only one aspect of his life (and he is only 3 right now). There are other battles to fight, and he has no stronger advocate than me.


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## inthesnow (Dec 8, 2004)

Maybe a bit of an aside...

Peanut allergies are not on the rise. Peanut allergies are very very uncommon. Far less common than dairy. This doesn't negate the fact that a child with a peanut allergy is dealing with something that is potentially life-threatening. But, I have begun hearing mothers talk about not introducing peanut butter until after the age of 3. I researched, talked with several docs and this just isn't true. The only time that it would be necessary to delay introducing peanut butter is if there is a history in the family of the allergy, a history of asthma or some other indicator.

I think it is a fine line to walk between protecting the rights of a few and diminishing the rights of many.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *inthesnow*
Peanut allergies are not on the rise.

I think it is a fine line to walk between protecting the rights of a few and diminishing the rights of many.

Where do you get your info that they are not on the rise? A quick search provided this:
http://allergies.about.com/cs/peanut...aaai120903.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...x.htm?csp=N009
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4022329.stm
http://www.southcoasttoday.com/daily...4/a01lo909.htm

Are you familiar with the federal law ensuring free and appropriate education for all? That is why public schools MUST accommodate allergic children in the least restrictive environment.

-Angela


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

Peanut allergies are not on the rise. Peanut allergies are very very uncommon. Far less common than dairy.
I think you are just a teeny bit confused. And, this might be why (from:http://www.pccnaturalmarkets.com/hea..._Free_Diet.htm)

Quote:

_Cow's milk is the most common cause of food allergy in *infants and young children*. Cow's milk proteins are potent allergens and around 2.5% of infants experience cow's milk allergy in the first years of life._
*~BUT~*

Quote:

_...food allergies usually diminish with advancing age. Up to 85% of children will outgrow their allergy by the age of three; the majority will outgrow it by the time they reach school._
By the time children reach school age, the vast majority have outgrown their dairy allergy. Only 20% of children outgrow a peanut allergy by the time they reach adulthood. Additionally, peanut allergies are the most common SEVERE allergy. And, too many people announce they have a dairy allergy when it's really an intolerance. Big difference.

As Angela cited, peanut allergies doubled within a five-year period among children alone. That would be, by most definitions, "a rise".

The reason to avoid peanut butter until age three is two-fold: 1. it is such a common, dangerous allergen, and 2. it is a serious choking hazard; once it's stuck in a child's throat, it cannot be dislodged and it creates a airtight seal. Most physicians realize that.

Your confusion aside, protecting the right of a child to live seems a little more important than upholding another child's right to eat a sandwich. And, as Angela pointed out: it's the law, anyway...


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## tboroson (Nov 19, 2002)

These arguments against nut bans are absurd. How many other restrictions do you already accept for the safety of your own and other children, without complaint? Do you think we should do away with laws that prevent kids from roaming the halls with guns because we have a constitutional right to own and carry those guns? After all, the kid carrying the gun isn't as much at risk as the other kids. And, who cares about those other kids? It's that kid's right to carry the gun! How about rules restricting obscene or harrassing material on clothing? Do you support the right of a six year old to walk around school in a t-shirt that says "I want to kill you, you f*(%ing [email protected]@er!", just because his parents have the right, outside of school, to dress their kids that way? Even little things - kids are required to wear shoes in school. Why? Don't we have a fundamental right to go barefoot if we choose? But, going barefoot risks spreading funguses to other children, and is a liability risk if your child is injured. Are you fighting tooth and nail for your child to get to walk barefoot in school? Why not? Do you think your child has a right to roll around in horse shit before school, then go to class covered in odor and germs? Do you think it's right for your child to go to school with a severe communicable disease that could land other children in a hospital? Why do you think it's ok to send your child to school carrying a product (either in their lunchbag or smeared on their fingers from breakfast) that could kill one of their friends?

It seems that society is willing to accept any restrictions on our child's rights when we can see that it makes our own child safer. Why can't you see that it's just as important to keep other people's kids safe? Schools are mandated to make education available to every child. Bringing a child into a place that can easily kill him is not adequate. Would you consider it adequate if the school district required your child to walk across a mine field to get into school?

It's been very well established that kids lose thier rights when they walk through school doors. Personally, I find the very concept of mandatory schooling to be a violation of rights. However, since you've accepted the idea that the government has the right to take your kids away from you for seven hours a day, five days a week, why is it a struggle to accept that they have the right to take measures to protect the children in their charge? Those administrators are acting in loco parentis for all those children. They have as much a fundamental responsibility to make the school a safe place for an allergic child as they have to make it safe for your child. If you're choosing to send your child to that school, to take advantage of that service that's being offered, you have a responsibility to follow the rules that are set forth for that establishment. Your child has a right to an education... but not a right to an education at any given place. If you don't like the rules, you have the right to pull out and go elsewhere. But, you don't have the right to trample on other children's fundamental right to... live.


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

I can't believe I'm actually stepping onto this battlefield...







:

First- Missy, it is a shame that your kid's friend's parents won't invite them to the b-day festivities. Rude... If my ds or dd had a friend with severe allergies, I'd still invite them. We'd also still be having cake and ice cream and balloons and those friend's parents could make their own decision as to allow their child into my home or not. If latex were the only issue, they would be more than welcome to supply my home with non-latex baloons and I'd gladly use them. But fact of the matter is, though I'd love to change things to help the allergic kid, it is my kid's birthday party and therefore it should be about MY kid, not anyone else's. Flame away, if you must, but this is how I feel.

Second- OP, I can see this is a frustrating issue for you! I don't know what I'd do if I were in your situation. I don't know what I'd do if I had any allergic kids. I can understand the peanut ban, and I also see that it's not the issue you take with all of this stuff. I would be livid if my kid couldn't have hummus or almond butter or eggs or milk or whatever else was banned. We are a primarily vegetarian family, eating meat maybe twice a month, and we'd either have to increase our meat consumption (against my beliefs) or else starve our kids if we followed that ban. Yes, there are potentially other options, but how many? I should have to but food at the co-op because the school bans anything at Pick N Save, I should be able to shop there because I want to. What next, no cabbage because it's purple?

We intend to homeschool (our kids are still very young right now) but we're fortunate to have that option. Not everyone has the option- or the desire- to homeschool. I don't think yanking a kid out of school because of food allergies is a realistic option for most people. I also don't think that making those kids eat in a separate room is realistic. (Don't ask me what to do though, since I have no ideas either!) I DO think it is ridiculous that your kid can't have peanut butter for breakfast because s/he may laugh too much on the bus or playground and make another kid ill. I know, it could kill another kid. I'm horribly sorry that the kid and his/her family must suffer through life this way. But my kid should be allowed to eat the food I prepare for them when they're not at school.

Maybe instead of banning PB on toast for breakfast, the schools can remind parents to help their kids BRUSH THEIR TEETH before leaving for school. It should help tremendously. I'm gonna go now before I get flamed.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Messac888*

First- Missy, it is a shame that your kid's friend's parents won't invite them to the b-day festivities. Rude... If my ds or dd had a friend with severe allergies, I'd still invite them. We'd also still be having cake and ice cream and balloons and those friend's parents could make their own decision as to allow their child into my home or not. If latex were the only issue, they would be more than welcome to supply my home with non-latex baloons and I'd gladly use them. But fact of the matter is, though I'd love to change things to help the allergic kid, it is my kid's birthday party and therefore it should be about MY kid, not anyone else's. Flame away, if you must, but this is how I feel.

Wow. Thanks for your kind words. Your post was so...heartening.







So, in other words, the invitation would be for appearance only? Fortunately, neighborhood friends aside, we do have a few friends who realize that a birthday celebration goes way beyond balloons and ice cream. And, oddly, the kids don't seem to miss it. They want to spend the day with their friends and the superficial tradition of ice cream isn't quite as important.


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## mmgarda (Dec 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny*
What is this Quinoa you speak of?

Oh wow. Only the BEST whole grain EVER!!! Quinoa (pronounced "KEE-no-wa" or "KEEN-wa") is an ancient Inca grain and is very high in protein. It looks a little like couscous, only flat. When the grains are cooked, they plump a little and a small hair-like piece comes out. The sperm (I think?) is a spiral inside the grain and cooking opens it up. You can get it in bulk at Whole Foods and other natural foods stores.

Make sure to rinse it well before you cook it, because it is high in saponin, and can taste kind of soapy if it's not rinsed. Cook it like rice: 2 c. water to 1 c. quinoa. Bring the water and quinoa to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer until all the water is absorbed.

Enjoy!


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## mmgarda (Dec 30, 2002)

Ummm, this thread got a little DIFFERENT in the last few hours. . .

Sorry if my post on quinoa was a bit of a gaffe in light of the recent discussions.


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## inthesnow (Dec 8, 2004)

According to the National Safety Council, statistics from 2003: in terms of unintentional deaths, there were 4,300 deaths due to choking on food or an object. Death from anaphylaxis(caused by ANY food not just peanuts) was less than 100.

I concede that peanut allergies are being diagnosed more often now but so are many other childhood illnesses/conditions/allergies such as asthma and ADD or ADHD. We have to look critically at why the numbers are increasing. Is it because there really a dramatic rise in these conditions or are doctors quicker to diagnose and prescribe or is it just that we are better educated?

As far as "free and appropriate education for all," I fail to see the connection to a food allergy.

Here is a link which discusses the importance of schools taking responsibility but not banning peanuts. Interesting also is the study which showed that subjects who were not aware they were being exposed to peanut proteins in the air experienced no reaction. Those who were made aware had reactions of itchy eyes, etc. http://allergies.about.com/library/blificquestions.htm


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

As far as "free and appropriate education for all," I fail to see the connection to a food allergy.
It's far more appropriate (and effective) to be able to breathe while you're learning.


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Messac888*
If my ds or dd had a friend with severe allergies, I'd still invite them. We'd also still be having cake and ice cream and balloons and those friend's parents could make their own decision as to allow their child into my home or not. If latex were the only issue, *they would be more than welcome to supply my home with non-latex baloons and I'd gladly use them.* But fact of the matter is, though I'd love to change things to help the allergic kid, it is my kid's birthday party and therefore it should be about MY kid, not anyone else's.

Other folks might think this is a poor analogy, but I sort of see this as being the same as inviting the kid in the wheelchair but leaving it up to his parents to build the ramp to get him in my front door. I mean, it wouldn't be that difficult for *you* to be that accommodating if your child's friend by having balloons that aren't latex and choosing not to serve ice cream.

I love the part about the birthday being about YOUR kid and celebrating YOUR kid's life and not being thoughtful of another child's life.

Banning cabbage because it's purple? Please. That was just rude.

There is a line between accommodations for one encroaching on the rights of many. I think we run into that line when we're told our children can't eat peanut butter at home, or that they can't take any beans or dairy or soy at all for lunch. I don't think we're even in sight of that line when we're talking about birthday party menus and favors.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny*
School lunches are not the highest quality of food. Say you have a poor, health food savy mom that does not want her children to eat the crap the school serves but can not afford to put a more expensive protein in her child's lunch, what do you suggest for her????

Being health food saavy is a choice. Having food allergies is definitely not a choice. Not sending in highly allergenic items is an inconvenience for parents of kids without the allergies, but that inconvenience ends when the school day is over. After school hours, your child can eat whatever you allow. The food allergic kids don't have that option.

Vegetarianism, veganism, raw foods, whole foods diets... those are all a lifestyle, a choice. Are they really equal to something that is life-threatening?

I have 2 kids with food allergies, one of whom has life-threatening allergies to peanuts, tree nuts, shellfish, egg and squid. He also has mild allergies to sesame, soy, oats and coconut. My other child is allergic to milk, apples, peaches, canteloupe (sic?) and butternut squash. I stumbled across this thread when I was googling for peanut and tree nut free sushi nori.

I think that a legume ban is a little unrealistic in a school setting. A lot of soaps contain soy, some types of glycerin and wax are soy derivatives, and the majority of processed foods contain soy in some form or another. What does that leave? Fresh fruit and veggies basically.

Public schools are required by law to make reasonable accomodations so students with disabilities can receive a free and appropriate education. Google Section 504 of the Rehabiliation Act of 1973 if you don't believe me. It's a little hard to learn if you can't breathe or can't see (severe allergic reactions can cause your eyes to swell shut). If a school can ban soda pop, they should be able to ban peanut/tree nut products as well.

Cheryl
hapa mom of 3 with one more on the way


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother nurture*

OP-I realize that children should learn self-responsibility. But, the fact that you say that children w/ these allergies and their parents should be responsible for themselves is ridiculous! I think that if YOU and YOUR CHILD were to be responsible for giving pb or exposing children w/ pb allergies to pb and a child died-you would see this thing differently. We all need to educate our children; but in order for schools, teachers, parents, and most of all children to be safe-restricting food at lunch for 5 days a week over the course of a school year IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!! I think that as parents we need to be emphathetic to other parents and children and do our part to ensure safety in our schools. Schools are communities.

Self-responsibility is great, but we need to have reasonable expectations based on the child's age and maturity.

At 8 years old, my son knows what kind of food to avoid, knows not to accept food that is not in a package with an ingredients label, can read a label, knows what the beginnings of a reaction feels like, and in the absense of an adult, can self medicate and call 911. He knows what the foods he's allergic to look like, and the other foods they can be hidden in. At 5 years old, all he could manage was to alert us when he was reacting, and he knew not to accept food from someone other than Mom, Dad or Grandma. At 3 years old, he just knew that he was getting itchy.

I think that peanut/tree nut bans are completely appropriate for preschool and younger elementary ages... not so appropriate for kids in jr. high.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Possible reasons for the documented rise in peanut allergies








:


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## mashtree (Feb 15, 2005)

My son does not like peanut butter at all, he would just not eat it. No allergies detected so far, he just does not like the thing. I am rather happy about that, as I myself think the thing is gross







. However, my son eats peabutter. It contains no nuts, has a better taste (to my liking anyway) than peanut butter, and would probably be allowed at school? Here is more info on peabutter, if interested: Golden Peabutter It is Canadian, but available in the US. Regretfully, it is not organic... and we _do_ try to feed our kid mostly organic...


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mashtree*
My son does not like peanut butter at all, he would just not eat it. No allergies detected so far, he just does not like the thing. I am rather happy about that, as I myself think the thing is gross







. However, my son eats peabutter. It contains no nuts, has a better taste (to my liking anyway) than peanut butter, and would probably be allowed at school? Here is more info on peabutter, if interested: Golden Peabutter It is Canadian, but available in the US. Regretfully, it is not organic... and we _do_ try to feed our kid mostly organic...

My kids school would not allow any form of peanut butter. They banned soy 'peanut' butter because the teachers wouldn't be able to tell the difference.


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## sha_lyn (Jul 27, 2002)

No matter how I come across this topic (IRL, other BB's etc) it always gets extremely heated. I HS and do not have an peanut allergic child. However I realize that HS is not an option for everyone and I would never think that my child's right to eat PB was higher than another child's right to live. Some of the stories I've read about allergic reactions are so heart wrenching. Hopefully by relating a few of them I might be able to get the point across of how deadly it is

One story took place in a school that thought it had covered all the bases. Kids with PB sat at a separate table and were told to wash their hands after eating.
Well a child died on the playground after breathing peanut vapor off the breath of another child.

A family let their child spend the night with a relative that was very aware of allergy. The relative decided to make some type of crumble dessert that had peanuts in the topping. They sat aside some of the topping before adding the nuts, and made a separate dish for the allergic child. However this person served the nut containing dessert and the dessert with out nuts with the same spoon. The child did have to be hospitalized but fully recovered.

Legally a severe allergy such as peanuts qualifies under the disabilities act. The public school systems would have to either pay for a home bound teacher or provide tuition to a private school with a ban if they did not make accommodation to allow the students to attend. Considering how many allergic children their are, it would break the budget to not either ban or put high restriction on peanuts.


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## sha_lyn (Jul 27, 2002)

Oh and one reason the child died in the first story I told.

The schools policy required that only the nurse could administer the epi-pen and it was locked up in her desk. she was not there that day, and by the time someone got the keys and got to the pen it was too late.

IMHO no matter what the status of a ban is at a school, I urge all parents of allergic children to ask (and push if necessary) that the teachers be allowed to carry and administer the epi-pen (with training of course).


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## Sir Top-um Hatt (Sep 13, 2005)

i would just like to put my 2cents in about childrens parties and allergies. i agree with messac888 that it is not up to the host to accomodate for one child in a group of 10, 12, 50, however many when it comes to a child's b-day party. yes it is important to keep allergies and things like that in mind when hosting but parents must also understand who the party is for.

now if my kid wanted a gymnastics party, do i invite his friend that is in a wheelchair???? i mean it would be nice for all of his friends to show up but how much fun would he have? would i be mean and rude if i didn't invite him or should i cater to someone elses child on MY KID'S SPECIAL DAY? i mean i could move the party somewhere else but if she really wanted a gymnastics party who am i to say no.

now about allergies. parents who may want to know about any menu can call ahead of time and let the hostess know they might be concered about what might be in the cake or that their little jonny is lactose intolerant. but any good hostess would reply "well this is what we are serving but, i can either (make it with soy, allow you to bring something else, or make food the last thing so you can leave without any problems)" this should keep most people happy but, there are always people looking for a reason to make everything about them or their family.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

If one of my child's closest friends was in a wheelchair, I don't think we'd be having a gymnastics party. Or a skating party. But that's just us. We tend to value our friends over more superficial trappings and birthdays are major celebrations to be _shared_ with friends. We can go skating another time.

As far as ice cream, if my son touches it, it could kill him. He isn't lactose intolerant. My other son doesn't eat any artificial colorings and so he goes to a party and simply doesn't eat the cake or whatever. It's no big deal to him; he'd rather be included and spend that time with his friends than eat cake. We don't even mention it to the hostess usually; he just says no thank you. This statement:

Quote:

this should keep most people happy but, there are always people looking for a reason to make everything about them or their family.
is just rude and ignorant.


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## sha_lyn (Jul 27, 2002)

I have to agree with Missy. What I usually do is first ask DD who she really wants at her Bday party and then plan from there. We can always do something that won't work with her guest list, as a family to celebrate her Bday (such as a PG or PG 13 movie, bowling etc).


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sir Top-um Hatt*
now if my kid wanted a gymnastics party, do i invite his friend that is in a wheelchair???? i mean it would be nice for all of his friends to show up but how much fun would he have? would i be mean and rude if i didn't invite him or should i cater to someone elses child on MY KID'S SPECIAL DAY? i mean i could move the party somewhere else but if she really wanted a gymnastics party who am i to say no.

If my daughter wanted a gymnastics or skating party for her birthday and one of her closest friends would be unable to participate because of a disability, I would have a conversation with her about being considerate of her guests. I think that's a very teachable moment. I don't think it's a bad thing to teach kids to be compassionate and understanding of other people. Even on their "special day."

Quote:

now about allergies. parents who may want to know about any menu can call ahead of time and let the hostess know they might be concered about what might be in the cake or that their little jonny is lactose intolerant. but any good hostess would reply "well this is what we are serving but, i can either (make it with soy, allow you to bring something else, or make food the last thing so you can leave without any problems)" this should keep most people happy but, *there are always people looking for a reason to make everything about them or their family.*
Emphasis mine. Isn't that exactly what you're doing in your first paragraph? Seriously, a birthday is cause for celebration, but I certainly don't think it's cause for self-absorption and selfishness.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luvmykidz*
I don't know about garbonzo beans, but soy beans are a legume... .

all beans are legumes.

whole grains are a great protein source. i make quinoa with brocolli bits and organic butter with a little nutritional yeast. its soooo good and creamy. ds loves it.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

Seriously, a birthday is cause for celebration, but I certainly don't think it's cause for self-absorption and selfishness.
:LOL I'm sorry, Chelle, that line just struck me as funny...maybe because it seems so obvious, and it's so sad that you had to come out and say it. Sometimes if don't laugh...


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## sarasprings (Mar 30, 2003)

Wow, this thread is amazing. I know it's frustrating having to deal with other people's food issues, but honestly, when I hear about other children having food allergies, it just makes me grateful that my son doesn't have any (that we know of yet). I feel lucky, eventhough it means more work trying to find alternative foods.

Why is it so hard to try to be inclusionary? Food seems to be the new way for people to feel superior over others (tack in on to how much money we make, where our house is in town). This is medical, it's not just a preference.

Geez, I want my son to grow up with dignity, generosity, and grace -- why aren't more people thinking of others in this world?


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

When I said cabbage would be banned next for being purple, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I didn't think it would be offensive, I later thought about it and realized how it could be taken but by then I wasn;t able to get back on the computer, Just now was my first chance. So, I apologize for that. I guess I meant to say that so many things are being banned in our schools, but so many things are being forced upon us to attend those schools in the first place- I need to immunize my kid, I need to take him to the dentist for a check up (which I do since my uncle is our dentist, but it shouldn't be forced upon me by my kid's school) and then, once they get into the school they can't eat a vegetarian diet because so many different food items are banned. I was allergic to wool for all of my youth (grew out of the allergy with age) but no one banned wool-wearing. I could be withing 10 feet of wool and break out in hives and have trouble seeing and breathing, but it didn't matter. It meant that I had to sit further away or else deal with my allergies in other ways. (I'm not saying it's that easy for food allergy sufferers, I'm just giving a personal anecdote).

As far as not baking an expensive, non-ingredient cake, if I was specifically asked to do so by a parent of a kid with food allergies, I would do so if they were willing to point me in the right direction and, if I couldn't afford it, I'd get the kid a muffin that they could eat so they could still share in the celebration. Same with balloons. I didn't mean that I wouldn't be willing to bend, I just meant that it shouldn't be EXPECTED of me, it should be REQUESTED of me. I have no problem obliging, I just can't stand when people demand things and then it's still never good enough. (Another example, my cousin was going nuts on my aunt for when she scheduled our eldest aunt's funeral so, finally, after a long time pleading and begging, my living aunt rescheduled the entire funeral so the cousin could make it- and she STILL never showed up. This is the kind of stuff I grew up around, so I apologize if my words seem harsh, since they aren't meant to be harsh.)

And, fwiw, my mom has been deaf her whole life so I know how tough it can be for people with disabilities. That said, I would not build a ramp for a wheelchair for my kid's bday party, but I WOULD offer to lift the child or the chair into my home so they can be there at the party. If I were not physically strong enough, I would find someone who is. I just do not have the money to go buy supplies to build a ramp. Just because I don't have ramp-building money doesn't mean I don't want the wheelchair-bound friend there, it means simply that I don't have the money to build a ramp and will do what I can to still accomodate said friend to get into my home. Likewise, my mom doesn't expect everyone to go buy a TDD/TTY so she can use the phone wherever she goes. She just asks people (friends, family, etc) to help her with the phone if she needs to make a call. We make it work. When my mom babysits my kids at my home she is without flashing lights so she doesn't know if the doorbell is ringing or if the phone is ringing. But since I don't have a working TTY she can't answer anyway. And whomever is at my door leaves a note or comes back later. And my mom doesn't get angry that we don't have these things. It was only recently that TVs came standard with closed caption- until then she had to buy it separately. Can you imagine having to pay extra so you can HEAR your TV or radio or whatever? So I know what life can be like for a disabled person and am fortunate enough that I, nor my spouse, nor my kids, have disabilities (and by this I include food allergies).

WHEW. I hope I was able to clarify what I meant to say when I posted yesterday without earning more flames.


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## Sir Top-um Hatt (Sep 13, 2005)

geez chellemarie and missy had i known that i would have been blasted for speaking honestly i wouldn't have posted.

i guess what i was trying to get across is that its my kid's b-day party and that it is for them and not for everyone else. if my kid said that they did not want a party that would be that. or if they wanted a sleep over instead so be it. and if any parent does not agree with our choices (location, time, food) they do not have to come, it is elective.

i know that when i have get togethers for myself i will not include certain people for a variety of reasons. (they don't like certain "company" that would be their, or they don't like crowds, or they have been on my nerves lately) and we are talking about grown people here. all i am saying is that when i have a get together, i am the one shelling out the money for everything so i get the decisions. (we do have parties where everyone brings something. i do not tell people what to bring)


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Wow, just wow. I am late to the game as usual, and am floored by some of what I've heard here. I was hanging on by the tip of my fingers until the birthday party analogies started. Then I fell right off the cliff.

If my son's best friend had allergies to latex, I would be thrilled to buy different balloons or skip them altogether. Same for ice cream. I would relish the opportunity for my son to learn about accomodating others to make them comfortable in our home. Yes, it's his special day, but what's special about it is being with his friends and family. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to eat ice cream tomorrow. I cringe to think that I would set the example for my children that "things" are more important than people.

And the reason bee stings and peanut butter are different is, I think, not the item that causes the allergy but the venue we are talking about - school. Free access to school is a federal right that all our children have. And it's not usually considered optional. As someone deftly pointed out, there are already numerous concessions we have to make to take part in the public school system. If bringing bees into school were the norm, we would be definitely having bee bans in place for those children who were allergic.

I guess I'm missing what the big problem here is. If you are going to brush your teeth and wash your hands before leaving for school, then go ahead and have your peanut butter toast. Understand that the rules are made for those who are eating out of Skippy jars in the car on the way to school. Or use this as an opportunity to teach your child about diversity, compassion, and accomodation, and a learning experience to research alternative proteins, and an opportunity to do some new cooking/baking projects together.

And if the whole problem with bringing lunches is finding a protein that doesn't need to be refrigerated, well then why not just get a little fridge for the classroom? I'm confused as to why this is so complicated.

And peanut allergies or not, school lunches should be the healthiest, most well balanced meals available, IMO. I actually think this should take priority over more computers in classrooms and the such. But that's another topic altogether.

Quote:

However, I also think that the few who need to be accommodated ought not demand it at the expense and incovenience of the many.
You cannot be serious. I hope you never end up in a wheelchair.


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## chellemarie (Jan 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sir Top-um Hatt*
i guess what i was trying to get across is that its my kid's b-day party and that it is for them and not for everyone else.

But I think parties are for the guests as well as the guest of honor. I'm interested in everyone's participation and enjoyment.

Messac888 - About building a ramp: I didn't mean I would build a ramp, but I would ask what help mom or dad would need getting Tommy up the steps and inside. And I would ask ahead of time so it could go as smoothly as possible. Just like I would plan an allergen-free menu and buy mylar instead of latex. Or skip balloons all together! Whatever. That's just not that hard.


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## 3_opihi (Jan 10, 2003)

Ok, as a mom of a highly allergic child I don't even want to comment on some of the stuff I've read here.







: I've already btdt on this forum too many a time.

What I did want to comment on was why peanuts, corn, wheat, stuff like that is becoming so highly allergic. GMOs. Basically, they've been modified so much, that they're like mutant plants. The protiens are too big, and many people are unable to process them, thereby the autoimmune system attacks, thinking its a foreign substance/invader. Just something to think about.


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## sha_lyn (Jul 27, 2002)

another possible cause for peanut allergies that I've read.....
There seems to be a link between peanut allergies and the use of a prescription eczema ointment that uses peanut oil as its base.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sha_lyn*

IMHO no matter what the status of a ban is at a school, I urge all parents of allergic children to ask (and push if necessary) that the teachers be allowed to carry and administer the epi-pen (with training of course).

Our school district, like many around it, does not have school nurses. Instead they have a district nurse or two to handle all the schools in the district. My son is in the 3rd grade, has been at the same school since kindy with the epi-pens, and he has never met the school nurse.

According to the contract the teachers have with the district through their union, they are not required to administer any medication, life-threatening or otherwise, so any student. Out of the 5 teachers he's had, only 3 have been willing to administer the epi-pen despite this clause in their contracts. Thankfully he is of an age where he can self-administer if necessary.


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## HerthElde (Sep 18, 2003)

I know this thread is essentially an OT one now, but I'd like to jump in with a couple suggestions based on the OP. But first, I just wanted to say that when you grow up in a family where someone has life-threatening anaphylactic reactions to food substances (my uncle, born in the 60s, can't touch peanut oil and can't be in the same room as fish cooking), you tend to be pretty sympathetic and accomodating to different dietary (or other severe allergy) considerations - even at a party for 50, even if those dietary considerations are not allergy-related (ie. if dd had a friend who was vegan, I would accomodate that for a birthday, the same as I would accomodate an allergy - it's one day, one meal, and really not that hard to accomodate any situation!) I think the attitude of the parents of the special-request child make a difference though - the "we're entitled" type of attitude would really tick me off, mostly because it implies that I wouldn't accomodate a request without being bullied (not saying anyone here is like that, but I have known people like that. Most people I know with allergies never expect anything and tend to bring their own food, etc)

Okay, so I don't believe anyone has yet suggested sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds. These can be made into a sauce to put on veggies in place of a cheese sauce (kind of like a satay type idea - super yummy on broccoli). Or eaten whole in a salad dressing. Also, you say dairy isn't allowed, but what about goat cheese? Is the child in question anaphylactic to any type of casein (there's casein in all types of animal milk, including human, and its composition is different in all animals, so being allergic to cow's milk does not necessarily indicate a goat milk allergy, although it's possible to be allergic to both).


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:

Also, you say dairy isn't allowed, but what about goat cheese? Is the child in question anaphylactic to any type of casein (there's casein in all types of animal milk, including human, and its composition is different in all animals, so being allergic to cow's milk does not necessarily indicate a goat milk allergy, although it's possible to be allergic to both).
Over 90% of people with true dairy allergies are also allergic to goat's milk, so for my family, it's not worth the risk. Of course, for me, school just isn't worth the risk.









On the subject of nut butters, though, Sunbutter is an excellent sub and far less allergenic than cashew butter. That goldenpea butter is good for some folks, but peas are a legume that are very closely related to peanut, so I'd approach that very cautiously.


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## Losgann (Jun 24, 2004)

My ds (8) cannot have dairy at all. Ingesting it causes intense, long rages. But we haven't let this get in the way of him living his life. At parties I bring dairy free goodies he can have. At school parties it's the same- they let me know what the other kids will be having and I show up with similar dairy free options for ds. His not being able to have dairy hasn't kept him from playdates or parties or anything like that. I can't even imagine.

Our school doesn't have any sort of peanut ban, but I would understand if they did. They do have a no sharing food policy but I found out early it's nearly impossible to supervise 100+ kids in the cafeteria at any given time. When ds was in Kindergarten we discovered one of his friends was slipping him little chocolate pudding cups. When I called the principal concerned about my ds's behavior she couldn't believe I could possibly know that he'd had dairy- it came out the next week that a girl in his class had been sharing her pudding cups with him! The staff quickly got in line with me and kept a closer eye on ds at lunch until he had matured enough to know what he could safely have or not.

I can't ask other people to wrap their lives around my son's because of his needs, but I make sure my son is included as fully as he can be. And I've been blessed with friends and neighbors who understand and love ds enough to care as well. One woman I had just met, and her son (Ds's classmate) informed her before his party that ds could not have dairy. She called me to see what was safe for her to serve. I wish all parents with diet sensitive kids could have friends like this woman..

A life threatening peanut allergy is so much more serious than my son's sensitivity and I would absolutely follow a peanut ban if one were to be instated.


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## Threefold (Nov 27, 2001)

Probably not necessary, but I this thread is making me uncomfortable, and I just want to clarify something I said earlier before I jump out.
As a teacher (and as a parent), I have no problem accomodating special dietary needs (we often do whether it be veggie, vegan, allergy or intolerance), but I do have a problem with banning peanuts at home, simply b/c in my experience as a public school teacher, I could not feel satisfied that this was being followed at home every day by every child. Not b/c other parents are spiteful or choosing to ignore the home ban, but b/c I know how hectic it can get and when it is not your child's issue and you have your plate full with your own challenges, it can be easy to forget and feed your child a peanut breakfast bar before school. I would much rather have a hand and facewashing policy at the door before school.
As far as epi pins go. In my district you have to have special training to administer one and they will not train us all. Office staff has training, but they won't train the teachers. Not sure why.
Each year we get a confidential health "issues" print-out of the students. And while over my 12 years teaching, I have seen a handful of bee allergies, there has yet to be a student allergic to peanuts listed. Not trying to make a point, just wonder why. Lucky, I guess


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_dalai_mama*
Each year we get a confidential health "issues" print-out of the students. And while over my 12 years teaching, I have seen a handful of bee allergies, there has yet to be a student allergic to peanuts listed. Not trying to make a point, just wonder why. Lucky, I guess









That's not a surprise. My oldest ds is the only peanut allergic child at his school, and has been for the last 3 years. There is one other student that is allergic to some tree nuts, but not to the extent that my son is.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*

On the subject of nut butters, though, Sunbutter is an excellent sub and far less allergenic than cashew butter. That goldenpea butter is good for some folks, but peas are a legume that are very closely related to peanut, so I'd approach that very cautiously.

I'm something of an odd duck. I actually prefer the Sunbutter Natural to regular ol' peanut butter. I like to melt it with chocolate chips in the microwave and use it like a lot of people use Nutella.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WC_hapamama*
I'm something of an odd duck. I actually prefer the Sunbutter Natural to regular ol' peanut butter. I like to melt it with chocolate chips in the microwave and use it like a lot of people use Nutella.

:LOL I do that with Trader Joe's chocolate chips (made in a dairy-free, nut-free facility







). And then I just use a spoon.







:

ETA: I actually prefer TJ's Sunflower seed butter over the Sunbutter brand even though I think it's made by the same people--the processing is a little different.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
:LOL I do that with Trader Joe's chocolate chips (made in a dairy-free, nut-free facility







). And then I just use a spoon.







:

ETA: I actually prefer TJ's Sunflower seed butter over the Sunbutter brand even though I think it's made by the same people--the processing is a little different.

Actually, the TJ's Sunflower Seed Butter is Sunbutter Natural. I was told that by the folks at Sunbutter themselves when TJ's started carrying the Sunflower Seed butter under their own label. The only difference between Sunbutter Natural and Sunbutter Creamy is that the Sunbutter Natural uses dehydrated cane juice instead of more processed sugars, and lacks the hydrogenated oils that the creamy formulation uses.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WC_hapamama*
Actually, the TJ's Sunflower Seed Butter is Sunbutter Natural. I was told that by the folks at Sunbutter themselves when TJ's started carrying the Sunflower Seed butter under their own label. The only difference between Sunbutter Natural and Sunbutter Creamy is that the Sunbutter Natural uses dehydrated cane juice instead of more processed sugars, and lacks the hydrogenated oils that the creamy formulation uses.

OH!!!!! Thank you!!







We order our Sunbutter through a semi-local (two hours away...) Mennonite market that stopped carrying it on their shelves but will order us a carton every few months. When the carton runs out, I buy TJ's until we can get to the store again...I didn't even realize there was a natural...My daughter--my oldest--prefers the texture of the creamy over TJ's, but I think it's because it's more like peanut butter. And she'll still eat the other.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Now I want to just give these remaining jars away (we just picked up a new carton on Saturday) so I can order the natural.


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## Jadzia (Jun 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
Possible reasons for the documented rise in peanut allergies








:

That seems so counter-intuitive to me: to blame peanut allergies on women consuming peanuts while pregnant and breastfeeding. First of all, women used to eat whatever they wanted while pg or bf; it only seems to be a recent caution for women to not consume peanuts. Yet in these more "cautious" times, peanut allergies are on the rise.

I would think one is less likely to develop an allergy to something they have been regularly exposed to. It makes sense that your body would adapt to tolerate substances that have always been present. It seems like being overly cautious and never eating peanuts while pg or bf and then suddenly giving your child a peanut at age 2 might be dangerous, as the child might not have developed the ability to tolerate the substance.

I know there is research that now shows that children who are raised with pets in the house are far less likely to develop pet dander allergies in later life.

So why does being around cats protect against cat allergies, but mom eating peanut butter cause allergies? It doesn't make any sense to me.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

hooboy...it's not blaming the mother...it's finding the cause so that it can be avoided by others. That's ONE reason currently being explored. It has to do with exposing a vulnerable, immature immune system and it makes a lot of sense if you really think about it. Most resources will explain that, not only is our peanut consumption during pregnancy and other times up significantly in recent years (hence the warnings), but the manner in which peanut products have been processed has also changed. There are other areas being studied. There is some evidence to link peanut allergies to certain vaxes; other evidence to suggest that the increased use of peanut oils in skin care products has contributed to the allergy in infants who are already experiencing atopic concerns. There's a huge range of concerns, all of which probably add up to the rise in recent years.

I can't explain the increased tolerance to animal dander, if in fact that occurs. But, this very line of thinking sounds a lot like my FIL--oh, just give him a little bit of dairy every day and he'll develop a tolerance (Uh, yeah...)-or-He needs more water to flush that allergy right out of his body.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
But, this very line of thinking sounds a lot like my FIL--oh, just give him a little bit of dairy every day and he'll develop a tolerance (Uh, yeah...)-or-He needs more water to flush that allergy right out of his body.









This is the line my mom used to give me - until she saw a reaction start on him from her kissing his forehead several minutes after she'd eaten a piece of lasagna. Now, as this was strictly a contact reaction there wasn't anaphylactic shock to deal with, but he developed hives within seconds of her lips touching him.

Some people just don't understand / believe things that they do not see with thier own eyes.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
OH!!!!! Thank you!!







We order our Sunbutter through a semi-local (two hours away...) Mennonite market that stopped carrying it on their shelves but will order us a carton every few months. When the carton runs out, I buy TJ's until we can get to the store again...I didn't even realize there was a natural...My daughter--my oldest--prefers the texture of the creamy over TJ's, but I think it's because it's more like peanut butter. And she'll still eat the other.

Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Now I want to just give these remaining jars away (we just picked up a new carton on Saturday) so I can order the natural.

No problem. When TJ's first started carrying it, I had just ordered 8 lbs of Sunbutter Creamy and the flyer they packed in the box mentioned something about "coming soon to Trader Joes", so I called TJ's and e-mailed Sungold and they both confirmed it. It's nice not to have to order 4-8 lbs of the stuff at a time.


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## Jadzia (Jun 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Missy*
hooboy...it's not blaming the mother...it's finding the cause so that it can be avoided by others.

So, if you agreed with them, why the irked smiley when you posted the link?







:


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

~sigh...~ The post was in response to inthesnow's posts which blasted out misinformation and dangerous assertions.


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## turlisa (Sep 22, 2005)

I am new to this site so please forgive me for not reading all the posts in this particular thread. I do have a comment though and I apologise in advance for it being so long.

I am the mother of 3 wonderful kids. The oldest of the three is in first grade this year. Thankfully none of them have food allergies. My first grader is a very picky eater; I can't get her to eat any meat at all, with the exception of chicken nuggets and salami. Something she does love though is peanut butter and jelly. In fact its one of the only things I can get her to eat in sandwich form.

About 2 weeks before school started for her last year I received a letter stating that peanuts and peanut products would not be allowed at the school due to a child who had a severe peanut allergy. Was I annoyed? Oh, you bet I was. I even decided to fight the ban. I called newspapers, wrote letters to the editor, called television stations and rallied other parents together who felt the same way I did and asked them to attend the school board meeting and "make our voices heard".

Then I went online to find ammunition. I wanted to read everything I could to be prepared at that meeting. What I wasn't prepared for though was getting an education along the way.

You started reading this thinking that I was going to be another ticked off mom that opposed a peanut ban. Surprise&#8230; I whole heartedly support a ban in elementary schools.

You see, I found a site for people with life threatening allergies and I wanted to hear what they had to say so I posed my question. "Do you really think a ban is necessary?" I didn't really care what they had to say, I was skimming through the posts looking for people who supported my argument, and surprisingly some did. But then I really looked at what everybody had to say, and they all had one thing in common. They just wanted their kids to be safe and they wanted them to be able to be kids, if only for a little while.

You see, the word allergy is misleading. I know when I hear the word allergy my first thought was sneezing, itchy watery eyes, maybe a few hives. You take a benadryl and there you go. Well peanut allergies are not that simple.

Picture this, a child in the lunch room has a pb&j sandwich, that child does not wash their hands after lunch and goes out to recess where they proceed to play on the equipment. That child climbs up the slide ladder and slides down. Right behind him (her) is another child; only this one has a peanut allergy. They climb the ladder and by the time they reach the top they already have hives and itching, they know they have come in contact with peanuts. They slide down the slide and by the time they reach the bottom their airway is shut off and they cant breath, they cant run for help, they cant do anything but hope that somebody has noticed what is going on and reacts quick enough with a shot of epinephrine. Luckily the teacher does notice and has the epi-pen on hand.

Great you are thinking right? WRONG, even though the teacher has reacted quickly and did everything she was supposed to do, that child is now waiting for an ambulance. You see, the epi-pen is not a "get out of allergy free" card. It only slows down the reaction enough to allow time for emergency medical help to arrive. The child is hanging on by a thread by the time they reach the hospital, but they make it and the doctors meet them at the door. Well here's the other kick in the pants, there is no guarantee that they can stop anaphylaxis, and there is no guarantee that he will respond to anything they do. He could still die. All because some parent couldn't be inconvenienced enough to remove peanut butter from one of the 5 meals their child would eat at school.

That's right, your child will eat 21 meals in the course of a week, only 5 of them are in school, eliminating peanut butter and peanut products from those 5 are not going to put your child in danger, but not eliminating them will put another child in danger. I can't say that the above scenario is the exact one that will happen, there are different degrees of reactions, but you never know when the big one is going to hit.

I know all the arguments that are going through your head, and let me go through them one by one.

1. What if a child is allergic to bee stings, do you ban recess?
Well, no you don't, but you don't put them in a room full of bees either. In elementary school a majority of the kids bring pb&j, for whatever reason, whether it be economical, convenient, or just because its something you don't have to fight with them to eat. Therefore the allergic child is put in a life or death situation daily. Residue is left everywhere and unless it is properly cleaned up, it can remain there for days, putting that child at risk everywhere he goes in that school.

2. What happens when they go out in the real world?
In the real world they do just fine. Their parents make sure to wipe things down that may be contaminated, but out in the real world they won't be forced into a condensed area with the food that is most toxic to them. They go to parks, and beaches. They do practically everything our kids do. In a class room you wouldn't be able to pick out which ones are allergic and which ones aren't. They are normal everyday kids.

3. What about all the other food allergies?
Yes, there are other food allergies that are just as severe as peanut allergies. Some of the most common are milk, wheat, seafood, soy, sesame, and egg. However with these other allergies it is rare for them to cause an airborne reaction, or a severe contact reaction. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, but not as often as it does with peanut allergies.

4. With an allergy so severe you should home school.
I don't know about you, but I couldn't home school. I am not that patient. Some states require that the parent that is home schooling to be a college grad. There are single moms and dads who need to work so they can't home school. There are many reasons why home schooling isn't for everyone. Just because you have a child with a food allergy doesn't make you automatically equipped to be their teacher.

5. What about before school? What if my kid has peanut butter toast?
Truth is, you don't have to stop your child from having peanut butter at home. You can, if you choose, be considerate enough to not to serve your child peanut butter before school, but if you do, the risk of causing a reaction in an allergic child is still smaller than a lunchroom full of the stuff. The risk is smaller still if you make sure they wash their face and hands and brush their teeth after eating it.

6. Where do you draw the line?
That is a very good question, because you are right, there are other food allergies. So should the school ban milk and eggs and everything else that can cause anaphylactic shock? If there are kids in the school that are allergic to them, well the answer is yes. You see the school has to provide a free and appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment. Translated that means that public schools have a LEGAL obligation to provide a safe learning environment for ALL students, not just the majority. The answer to the above question is that the line is drawn when the unique needs of the community served by that school have been met.

Look, it's not easy to put your child in the hands of strangers when you know that some of them may have just eaten or are bringing to lunch the thing that is poison to your child, and they would home school if they could, but just like you and I, sometimes that is not an option.

Contrary to what some of you believe; these parents are not trying to take anything away from our kids. They just want their kids to be safe and maybe a little carefree for a short time in their lives. Let's face it. Asking kids this age to be responsible for life and death on a daily basis is just crazy, they are after all kids, and they don't always think before they act.

These parents know that the school will never be completely free from these products, they are not stupid; and they don't expect us to shop for our children like they are the ones with this deadly allergy; but one less sandwich, one less snack containing these foods being brought to school is one less risk to their child's life.

All parents dealing with peanut allergies have different comfort zones. Most of them do not allow their children to eat anything other than what they (the parents) provide. When shopping for your child however, the only things that most (some) pa parents want is actual peanuts (tree nuts) and products containing peanuts to be omitted from the schools. Products that may contain or are packaged in a facility that processes peanuts are of minimal risk to their children. Their child would actually have to ingest them to have a reaction. Now there are exceptions to this rule, for instance, Granola bars are may contain (most do contain) and tend to be very sticky, if it is indeed peanut containing and the sticky residue isn't cleaned properly, it can cause a reaction in the allergic child. I do repeat, parents have different comfort zones, some are stricter than others.

Thinking back to last year, I put my daughter on the bus for the first time in her life and I was afraid that she wouldn't know where to go once she got to school, and I was afraid that she would forget to raise her hand before she spoke. I was really afraid that she would get on the wrong bus coming home; of course through the year I didn't worry about these things anymore. But the parents of children with life-threatening allergies are scared every day that this will be the day they get the dreaded call that their child is en route to the hospital because of a common everyday peanut product. They have to worry whether or not their child will ever come home again. I don't know about you, but I thank God that I don't have to send my daughter off to school everyday in fear that I will never see her alive again. These parents would love to worry about the little things.

When I looked back at my initial reaction of being opposed to the ban, I am ashamed. When I was honest with myself, I mean completely honest, I was mad because I was going to be inconvenienced. I was willing to put a little boy's life in danger so my daughter could eat a sandwich she liked. What does that say about me?

I was mad because I felt like my daughter was being deprived of something she wanted, funny thing is, when I told my daughter what was going on, she was absolutely fine with not being able to take pb&j for lunch, in fact, she said she didn't want to take it if it could hurt an other child.

Maybe we should all take a lesson from our kids.


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## cjr (Dec 2, 2003)

Most of these posts are not in response to peanuts, but rather to one mama saying that there is a ban on peanuts, tree nuts, eggs and dairy. Another mama said that they can't have peanutbutter for breakfast. I think most of the concerns on this thread is to point out where to draw the line. Like you said peanuts can be toxic to some children and although an inconvienience to some mama's who can't afford too many other options, or who'ss children won't eat many other options, it's understandable.

My heart goes out to those with severe allergies, but banning so many foods just isn't that answer. Peanuts/tree nuts of course. You should see my girl's "lunches" :LOL . They are gone from 8am until 4:30pm so I pack them lunch, morning snack and afternoon snack. They are growing, healthy girls who eat a lot of food throughout the day. My youngest has a wicked metabolism. The 2 meals she eats at home is only 1/3 (both breakfast and lunch) of what they eat throughout the day. So, if their school was to ban eggs, dairy and peanuts then I would literally have nothing to put in their lunch but crap (which I refuse to send). Vegetables and fruit are a given, but is that all they are to eat? Some parents can not afford to spend money on diary free/egg free bread. Muffins are staples for a lot of kids. Kids are picky and if I don't give them a variety everyday then they get bored and don't eat. I don't mind making compromises on food choices, but when I have to make compromises on my kid's health because all I can send them is fruit, vegies and meat...that's when I get irked. That's when there has to be something else done to protect these kids with allergies.

I would also not be comfortable relying on 300 or so families following such rigid guidlines. That's a lot of limitations put on a lot of people for 1 or 2 kids with allergies. I honestly wouldn't trust that those guidlines would be followed and would want other measures taken instead. The idea of handwashing befor and after lunch, bringing toothbrushes and so on are things that could be controlled within the school.


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## HerthElde (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cjr*
My heart goes out to those with severe allergies, but banning so many foods just isn't that answer.

I think it really comes down to just how allergic the child in question is - any contact allergies and airborne allergies especially should be taken into account if the reaction is life threatening, and I have no problem with each school posing restrictions based on individual allergies, even if that varies from year to year. At the same time, I don't think the schools should become complacent and assume that everyone's following those rules. I highly doubt parents or children with life threatening allergies ever become complacent - everyone that I know who has life threatening allergies or has children with life threatening allergies would just never take that risk - and the children learn surprisingly young to stay away from allergens if they are ingested and not to share food.
However, if the reaction is from something a child ingests, and is NOT life threatening, I absolutely don't think it should be restricted. I especially feel bad for the child who has life threatening allergies to a few foods and then has further restrictions placed on his/her diet due to someone with less severe reactions to things which are ingested who is unwilling to avoid sharing.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Turlisa is wise. I was "there" when she went to the site for people with life threatening peanut allergies, and I've seen the "change" in her. Some of us (the folks at the other site), me included, were pretty rough on her at first.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Turlisa--

My dh may not be very happy with this, but ooooh, I think I love you~























It is so very rare for someone who does not live with this to understand it at the level you do now; maybe not living it has allowed you to recognize the arguments more effectively, maybe those realize came become some of those were your own arguments.

We just spent the day at Johns Hopkins, at their pediatric allergy/immunological disorder center ; I'm just sitting down to eat at 11:55 at night because I can't just swing through a fast food place or stop at a restaurant. It was a very long day and we're probably due for a few more appts. like that in the next month, and to come home and see your post was so up-lifting.

Again, thank you.








Missy


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## Poddi (Feb 18, 2003)

I can't believe this thread is still going.







Does anybody think having one nut-free elementary school in each district is a good idea? All the allergic kids can go there.







Actually I'm willing to pay a lot more to send my son to such a school, where he can eat what others eat and not worry about washing hands all the time. Of course I don't really know the percentage of kids with nut allergies. If there are say just 2 - 3 in a school district they probably won't bother. But if there are 10 then instead of banning nuts in 10 schools they can all go to the same one. Of course they can stay in their old school, it's just those 9 schools won't have the ban.


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## turlisa (Sep 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WC_hapamama*
Turlisa is wise. I was "there" when she went to the site for people with life threatening peanut allergies, and I've seen the "change" in her. Some of us (the folks at the other site), me included, were pretty rough on her at first.

"Pretty rough" doesn't even come close,







, but then I deserved everything I got. lol. Even the education.

Most people who do not have children, and even some parents of non allergic kids, think that these are "damaged kids" or "weak genetics". Thats not the case at all.

These kids are just like every other kid. They run, and play. They go to the park, they love bugs and diggin in the dirt. They do everthing that kids do, with the exception of 2 things, One, they could die from contact with peanut protein and two, they tend to be more compassionate to other people. They learn at an early age not to take life for granted.

So many people only hear want they want to hear, they dont realize that if they just use common sense everybody comes out happy. For instance, parents of pa children have already taught their kids not to share their lunch with another child, and under no circumstances accept food from another childs lunch, so when they ask you to read lables, basically what they are asking is for you to not send peanut butter or peanut containing products to school. If an item is a may contain, their child would have to eat it in order to have a reaction. (in most cases, again common sense, is the item sticky or greasy? if it is, residue is left) In other words, peanut m&m's, NO, reg m&m's, sure as long as you dont offer any to their child. (most schools dont allow candy anyway)

Like I said above though, parents have different comfort zones, but I bet if you actually take the time to talk to them, you will realize they are not the crazed, psycho, over protective parents many people think they are.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Turlisa, you rock. My husband ain't happy either, but I love you too.
Mamas of peanut allergic children, I think you rock too. I can't believe how *nice* you're being.


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chanley*
Umm if your child could DIE from exposure, this is ANY exposure, i think you would understand why others would have to be inconvenienced. A kid eats pb has some oil on his hand or shirt and smears it by accident on the table and the oil gets on the skin of the allergic kid....then WHAMMO!

Ohh adn about soy, I am sure they exist, but many soy 'allergies" are intolerances. There is a BIG difference between an allergy and an intolerance. Both are life threatening, one immediately and the other long term.

Rather than being put off or feel inconvenienced, just be thankful it is not your reality to worry.


exactly!


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## veganf (Dec 12, 2005)

The preschool that our boys will be attending this fall has a "no nuts at all" policy, not just peanuts. It's going to be a challenge for me to make snacks and lunches that don't need refrigeration and are vegan and nut-free! But no way will I be sending chocolate! Yikes! What were they thinking!

- krista


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## my2girlsmama (Oct 21, 2004)

I haven't read tihs entire thread so forgive if this is already stated....

My 6 yr old is finicky and her school is a non peanut one, most are. SImple safety and I agree with the ban on nuts.

Drinkable yogurt
Cheese strings
crackers
cereal bars (be careful to watch for nuts inside)
Fruit roll ups or fruit leather
pudding


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

my son has a nut allergy and even though they have a ban, children still bring peanut butter sandwiches. They use to make my son sit by himself in the hallway for lunch, because parents would still send their kids with pb. It broke my heart picturing my son sitting all alone every lunch hour.
I would never wish this on anyone, and wish that all parents were as understanding as most of you.


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## KayasMama04 (Feb 4, 2006)

I see the POINT of banning nuts for it if it will actually help. I am not okay with them telling me that I can't give my dd pb for breakfast that infringes on my rights since it is my own home and child. I will brush her teeth and hands but I will not stop giving her nuts. Also how dare the school tell me to shower first that is beyond absurd. I will protest against a school telling me I can't give my child milk, eggs and fish. I think what some people with high nut allergy children don't understand is that I cannot and will not go out and buy everything milk, nut etc free. That is extremely expensive and it just won't happen. I want to be able to send my child someday off to kinder and be able to put a muffin in her lunch pail and not have someone tell me that her muffin is deadly. I also don't think its selfish to not turn MY DD birthday into a nut, milk etc free party for one child. I would maybe have some small alternative but im not changing her party completely for one person. Also im hoping this mom of a servere allergy kid asks before she comes over if we eat nuts because im sure my house is deadly to most kids. After reading this im trying to grasp how serious nuts are for some people.


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## Allie2 (Jun 7, 2005)

When my dd started school 2 years ago I was slightly peeved she couldn't bring anything with nuts in it. But after about the first couple of weeks I didn't even think about it.







There are tons of options out there that are nut free and even legume free for the op's school.

Veggies, fruit, yogurt, cheese, crackers, pitas, tortillas with a million different, toppings(I use dinner leftovers all the time), rice in a little container, dinner leftovers, pizza and I'm sure there are others but my mind is letting me down.
I think that keeping one child safe is more important than even hundreds getting a few foods during a limited time frame. My kids eat peanut butter at home, brush their teeth and wash thier hands. They brush their teeth and wash their hands anyway so it doesn't seem like an issue to me.

Regarding the birthday parties, if my dd had a friend with food restrictions I would do whatever I could to accomodate them. Latex balloons are a no-brainer to me, I'd buy some mylar or go without. I usually forget to serve the ice cream anyway so that can go without a second thought. With food restriction I'd be happy to serve something that child can eat, most kids don't eat the birthday party food anyway because they're so excited. My dd having her friend there would always be more important to me and to her than balloons or ice cream or whatever the material thing is that we would do without. I'm very confused why ice cream and balloons are more important than a friend and I'm sure my dd would feel the same.








to all the mamas with children with allergies. I can't imagine what you live with everyday. It makes me very grateful that my youngest dd has only environmental allergies. They seems so superficial compared to the restrictions and negativity your children live with.


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## Missy (Oct 22, 2002)

Allie,

Thank you for understanding. I tend to follow these threads and usually end up responding even though it becomes emotionally draining. As a homeschooling family, school accommodations don't impact us and we have a lot of control over choosing exposures, but too many families don't. They are directly affected by the community's level of response and it must be terrifying to realize that there are individuals who take such necessary accommodations as a personal affront. I've learned, though, that some people seem to say things simply to get a reaction. At least, I hope that's why. I really don't want to believe that there are people with such a limited capacity to stretch their minds and their hearts outside of their own experiences.


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## Mylittlevowels (Feb 16, 2005)

Some of these posts had me in tears...we are dealing with this as well. DD, not quite 3, has a severe peanut allergy. It is so incredibly scary.
I feel like I'm in mourning right now, it's like a piece of the childhood I dreamed for her has died. All of her experiences will be colored by this. Every moment she is away from me I will live in deadly fear of what might happen...something as innocent as sharing a toy or a kiss from a friend COULD KILL MY CHILD.
No, I do not expect anyone to make concessions for us. Making parents shower before coming to school - that's more than a little ridiculous. As far as I'm concerned, you can feed your kid whatever you want in your home. Just please be AWARE.


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## Threefold (Nov 27, 2001)

I just cannot wrap my head around those who refuse to comply b/c it infringes on their child's rights. Showering at home before school I would have trouble with, and banning these items in my own home as well. Beyond that, I fail to see why it's even an issue. This thread has made me much more aware, and though we do consume peanut butter and milk, I am careful now to wash my children's hands afterwards.
How do you cope with the grocery store? Trader Joes regularly hands out samples with dairy (yogurt, cheese) and nuts (as do Whole Foods and Costco). I handed my kids the yogurt in the cart without thinking and soon enough the cart had yogurt on it too. Does using a cart cover provided enough of a barrier?


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