# A stranger spanked my son today.



## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

I got an upset phone call from my nanny today. She took Max to our neighborhood's playground and like usual he was playing with other children his age. He got into a little "argument" with another boy over a toy. The usual thing, they want to both play with the same toy and don't want to share it with each other. Max pulled that other boy's hair (which upsets me because he hasn't done it in a while already and I was already bragging how he is over "the hitting" stage). To make long story short, that other boy's nanny ran up to my son and spanked him! My nanny ran like an eagle towards her (I'm just repeating what nanny said), yelling at her that she will call a police on her, that she shall never touch Max, never even stand near him and how dare she is and etc... Max didn't cry, but he had this dumbfounded look on his face like: what just happened? Because he is not used to this kind of thing...I don't think he was traumatized by it, but I was! People have nerve!!!! I mean seriously! My nanny said that this was the first time she saw that babysitter in the park and next time she sees her, she will keep as much distance as possible.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

That's scary! Your poor son, and your poor nanny!

If I had been there, I probably would have called the police.


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## Logan's Mom (Mar 2, 2006)

I want to kick that other nanny's butt!








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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I feel bad for that other baby who must get hit all the time.


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## MrsAprilMay (Jul 7, 2007)

How horrible!
It sounds like you have a really good Nanny. I'm glad she called you and told you.


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## mom2myprincess (Feb 3, 2007)

Thats terrible! Im not sure how I would have reacted but I dont think it would have been nice. Also that poor little boy that she watches! He probably gets it regularly.


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

That's what I think! I bet she spanks that kid all the time. I'm furious. I will go and check the situation tomorrow.


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## milosmomma (May 9, 2007)

Wow....just wow.

BTW, it sounds like you have a great nanny!


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## CaliMommie (Feb 11, 2004)

That's terrible! Good for your nanny for speaking up & for having the restraint to not smack her! The nerve of that other nanny!







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## pbjmama (Sep 20, 2007)

How horrible for your son! I'm so glad you have a good care provider for him, I'm so glad she spoke up and immediatly told you. As for the other lady...







: how could she have thought that was okay? Ugh.


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## BrooklynDoula (Oct 23, 2002)

I once saw a stranger pull off her belt and begin whipping a boy she was anger with at the park. It was the most amazingly awful thing I have ever witnesses. I called the police but could not run over to intervene (some other parents did though) because I had 2 under 2 with me and she was out of control.

Some people are nuts. Sorry Max met one of them today.


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## utopia760 (Feb 7, 2007)

i dont understand what people think they act like they can control other peoples kid too she had no right!!!!!!!!


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## renabe (Feb 3, 2007)

Strange things happen in public, makes you wonder what happens in private. DH works in a store and has seen people leave their toddlers locked in the car (police always get called immediately and it gets forwarded to child services). He was waiting on someone whose child was sitting up on the checkstand and over some minor discipline issue she knocked him down and he fell on the floor. Sad thing is, police don't exactly reach out and get these people the help they need.







: It must be a pretty extreme case when adults think they can be violent with someone else's kid.


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## kaliki_kila (Aug 16, 2005)

I hope she sees the babysitter/nanny again so she can find out what family the babysitter works for and let them know what their babysitter is doing. I guess she could post what she saw on www.Isawyournanny.blogspot.com and maybe someone will see it there. That is just awful.


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## griffin2004 (Sep 25, 2003)

I would be calling the police if this had happened to my child. Even if nothing came of the report, at least this woman's assault would be on record. And I would be finding out who her employer was and advising them, too.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yeah. I'd call the police too, but I live in a country where spanking is becoming illegal.


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## merry-mary (Aug 9, 2007)

This just made me ill. I am so sorry. You are incredibly lucky to have such a great nanny! I agree about posting it on the "i saw your nanny" website.


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## DaffyDaphne (Aug 30, 2007)

Good Lord, what are people THINKING?!??

I'd be hard pressed not to haunt that playground looking for that nanny.....see how SHE liked being whacked on the butt!


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## Ell-Bell (Nov 16, 2002)

That makes me feel sick! I can't believe it!


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## babyomom (Jun 14, 2006)

That's terrible. I feel bad for your son. I would be very angry too. Just wondering. How close was your nanny when the hair pulling was going on? Did she stop the hair pulling or did the other nanny stop it? The other nanny had no right to touch your child. I only ask this because it sounds like there may have been to much distance between your nanny and your son. Unless I am misunderstanding the situation, but the running to the other nanny scares me a little. It sounds like she may have been to far away. And could have prevented the other nanny from touching your son had she been closer. Not judging just trying to picture what went on. It is scary to think that children can't play in a park without having to worry that some stranger will harm them.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

I would call the police, in order to have the assault on record. And if the parents who hired that nanny didn't address it I'd consider calling a lawyer. You NEVER strike another person's child. Period. I'd be livid.


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

I'm glad your son is ok. I'd be so upset!

Is there any way to contact the the other boy's parents? Maybe ask around the playground? I would definitely want to know if my child's nanny was going around spanking other children! Who knows what she is doing to the child she is caring for.


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## Marcee (Jan 23, 2007)

That is insane.


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## ginadc (Jun 13, 2006)

Oh man, I'd be staking out that playground with your nanny (yeah, I know you probably can't do that or you wouldn't have a nanny in the first place) to track down that other nanny and press charges. What she did was *assault.* I would absolutely contact the police and try to find the employers to complain to them as well. I can't believe that happened to your son. At least you have a great nanny who responded as she should have.


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## sweetirishCT (Oct 5, 2005)

I am just horrified that the other nanny felt, um, entitled (for lack of a better word) to spank your child!! In what world do they teach that it is OK to lay hands on other peoples children, let alone their own! I am working very hard to break the spanking-discipline cycle in my family, but I think that anyone in my family would never even fathom laying hands on someone else's child!!!







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## ABrez (Apr 4, 2007)

I totally agree with pp that it is assault and I would have called the police. I can't believe someone would do that.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsAprilMay* 
It sounds like you have a really good Nanny. I'm glad she called you and told you.

Not only that but it sounds like she immediately stood up for your son.


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## Miajean (May 16, 2005)

Whoa. Nannies like that make me so angry. Not just because they violate principles and good manners but because they make the world for nannies just that much more precarious and nerve wracked. I loved being a nanny, I still keep in touch with the families. I never ever ever even got angry enough to think I would want to spank another persons child.

Ackk...if I nany again I'll be so nervous...I'm a mommy now, it will be so weird.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Assault, yes. I would have called to cops too. That is infuriating.







to your poor DS!


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## bellabear (Oct 16, 2007)

What gives her the right to hit anyone, let alone a child?! I'm so sorry this happened, mama. Ugh.


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## bebeboston (Oct 25, 2007)

I think you absolutely should post this on isawyournanny. The reason is I cannot imagine the mindset of someone who reacts like that. I feel for you and your son, but I feel for the child or children she cares for. A lot of nannies put on brilliant, false fronts. Can you imagine a parent that says it is okay to spank their child? I cannot! I looked up the info for you. The url is
http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com and you can email your post to [email protected]

This nanny needs to be outed!


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

You need to find out the name of that nanny and tell her if she EVER does that again, you will be swearing out a warrant for assault. I seriously feel like kicking her A$$!


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## Himom (May 25, 2005)

I'd be livid!!! Good thing your nanny saw it right away and spoke up. Grrr...the nerve of some people.


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## PapayaVagina (May 11, 2002)




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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Had I been your nanny I would have called the police immediately, with no warning. I'd also be cursing her out like no other.


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## IndyNanny (Sep 20, 2007)

Just when I don't think people can surprise me, someone does! It's a blessing that your nanny was there to act quickly, but I think it's very scary that the other nanny's first impulse was to grab someone's child and hit them. I agree with pp that she probably hits her own charge. Had it been one of "mine", I would've been on her like white on rice for the remainder of her stay at the park. I'd probably scout the park for her daily as long as the weather would allow. I can totally see myself shadowing her back to work just to see where the family lives. You better believe I'd notify them. I very sorry, how shocking!


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## Iris' Mom (Aug 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *griffin2004* 
I would be calling the police if this had happened to my child. Even if nothing came of the report, at least this woman's assault would be on record. And I would be finding out who her employer was and advising them, too.

ITA


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## sweetirishCT (Oct 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Iris' Mom* 
ITA

Sorry, but what does ITA mean? (You would think I have been around these boards long enough to know...)


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## CaliMommie (Feb 11, 2004)

ITA= I totally agree


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## bebeboston (Oct 25, 2007)

Where did this madness happen? On what park do nannies who spank stranger's children roam free?

Was it Carl Schurz Park? I saw a post about a nanny who did pulled down a child's pants with intent to spank IN FRONT OF THE MOTHER!

http://isawyournanny.blogspot.com/20...rk-in-nyc.html

Sorry, but this is CRAZY. And must be stopped.







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## sweetirishCT (Oct 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CaliMommie* 
ITA= I totally agree









ahhh.. thanks!


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## Mom'n it (Nov 3, 2005)

ok ok ok.. i can't seem to get thru on the i saw your nanny site. and I don't mean to hijack.. but what the hell is charge? and therapist?! are these terms that i should know? i have no idea how to read that website...

proceed with angry comments about nannies.. sorry!


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## Rico'sAlice (Mar 19, 2006)

I think "charge" refers to the kid a nanny is watching/responsible for.


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## Evenstar (Sep 20, 2007)

That isawyournanny site is truly depressing







: Poor babies


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## Breastfeeding Insomniac (Jan 15, 2007)

I would call the police and file an assault charge. How dare she!?!?!?!
Give your little boy kisses from us here at MDC


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## alaskaberry (Dec 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nighten* 
You NEVER strike another person's child. Period.

I was reading this thread, had to reply--it's a bit unrelated, though. When I used to babysit, people would say "oh, go ahead and spank my kids! it's the only way they'll respect you!" um, no.

I also think you should report it to the police. I would be FURIOUS!


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## matchlessorinda (Oct 18, 2007)

I'm still trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. Wow. I can't believe it. I mean, I can, but I am just in shock.
Here's a big hug to you and your little guy from us.


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## sweetirishCT (Oct 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evenstar* 
That isawyournanny site is truly depressing







: Poor babies

O.M. Goodness.
I just spent WAY too much time on the site, and now am
1)very thankful that DD goes to a cousin for childcare (I truly DO trust her with our LO's life)
and
2)feel better about group day-care settings in a contained environment than I do about a private nanny... YIKES!







:


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## IndyNanny (Sep 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rico'sAlice* 
I think "charge" refers to the kid a nanny is watching/responsible for.

Yes, calling the children I care for my "charges" is just an easy way to differ them from my own children.

I know it may be an entirely different thread, but I would hope that the terrible actions of this nanny won't turn off families to all nannies in general. If anything, occurrences like these should encourage parents to pop in unexpectedly every once in a while. Chances are if she is treating the child like this in the park, she's like this or even worse in the home. Of course background checks, calling references are also so very important. A great nanny can be a wonderful asset to a family. (Please take my comment fwiw to you. I just really, really hate to hear of nannies acting so abusively as it reflects on my profession as a whole.







)


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## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

Quote:

Can you imagine a parent that says it is okay to spank their child? I cannot!
When I was 14 or 15, I babysat for a family that not only told me to spank their kids if they misbehaved, they pulled out the wooden spoon and told me to use that to spank them. Even then I thought it was horrific.


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## mama2walden&luna (Jun 29, 2005)

Now THAT would send me into another dimension of anrgry!!! Sorry, didn't read all the posts, just the original. Man, what nerve!


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## Finch (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *griffin2004* 
I would be calling the police if this had happened to my child. Even if nothing came of the report, at least this woman's assault would be on record. And I would be finding out who her employer was and advising them, too.

ITA. What she did is assault and battery. Nail her.







:


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## haleyelianasmom (Nov 5, 2005)

That's very upsetting. Sounds like you have a good, very protective nanny. You don't hit children, period. Any way you can find out who that nanny was?


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## Hippiemommie (Jul 3, 2005)

Oh HELL! That's all I can say. Oh Hell!!


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## sophiekat (Oct 29, 2005)

your poor son. and that poor other boy.







:


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

Thank you mommies! I'm still furious about it.

The thing is I haven't seen that nanny in the park, the days had been rainy and my nanny said that she is not a regular at the park.

My nanny at the heat of the moment told her that she will report her to police and since she is an illegal immigrant, she will get deported. So, now I don't know if she will show up again.

Guys - wwyd? The thing is, I really do want to report her, but since she IS an illegal immigrant, I am afraid that in fact, she might get deported and quite honestly, I don't know if it's too much of a punishment. Do you think I should just find a mother of that kid and maybe just maybe the worst thing is that she will get fired. Which she deserves!!

Also - I really like my nanny and I trust her. The thing is that she told me that she was maybe 5-8 feet away from what happened. She was sitting on the bench and the kids were playing in front of her near by. She used to hover like a hawk next to DS during his active "hitting" days, but she started to give him some space after he stopped hitting (I guess not completely over yet, huh...).


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## Finch (Mar 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Janelovesmax* 
Thank you mommies! I'm still furious about it.

The thing is I haven't seen that nanny in the park, the days had been rainy and my nanny said that she is not a regular at the park.

My nanny at the heat of the moment told her that she will report her to police and since she is an illegal immigrant, she will get deported. So, now I don't know if she will show up again.

Guys - wwyd? The thing is, I really do want to report her, but since she IS an illegal immigrant, I am afraid that in fact, she might get deported and quite honestly, I don't know if it's too much of a punishment. Do you think I should just find a mother of that kid and maybe just maybe the worst thing is that she will get fired. Which she deserves!!

Also - I really like my nanny and I trust her. The thing is that she told me that she was maybe 5-8 feet away from what happened. She was sitting on the bench and the kids were playing in front of her near by. She used to hover like a hawk next to DS during his active "hitting" days, but she started to give him some space after he stopped hitting (I guess not completely over yet, huh...).

If it was my kid, I'd report her. I don't care about her immigration status, sorry. She ran up and hit my kid. No discussion from my end, sorry.


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Finch* 
If it was my kid, I'd report her. I don't care about her immigration status, sorry. She ran up and hit my kid. No discussion from my end, sorry.

You are right...it is MY kid that she spanked, perhaps she needs to learn the laws in this country...


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

I wouldn't call the authorities, I'd find the parents and tell them what happened.


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## *GreenMama* (Jan 5, 2006)

Oh my word! How ridiculous! What planet was that other nanny from?!?


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## kennedy444 (Aug 2, 2002)

I would be so pi$$ed and would be sure to go to the park myself and have a little chat with this person. NO WAY does someone ever lay a hand on my child. I would also try to find out who she sits for and let them know what she did. Just imagine how she treats the poor child in her care!


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## natashaccat (Apr 4, 2003)

Ok I agree this was totally inappropriate. That being said, I do think that 5-8 ft away is *too far away* from a child under 4 who is in close proximity to other unknown adults or at least that would be too far away for my comfort level. I think the the other nanny was clearly wrong but I would also make sure that your own nanny is more vigilant in the future.

It's sad really, that we don't live in a world were we can give children and strangers this sort of space but I think it's an unfortunate reality that we simply can't. I probably wouldn't take this any further myself. Yeah, I'd be mad but I think that your nanny handled the situation appropriately once she engaged herself and took it as far as it needs to go given that it's unlikely you will ever meet the parents.


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## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

It seems to me that you have an excellent nanny. Not only does she have the same values as you do regarding spanking, but she is also vigilant enough to know who the regulars are at the park, and takes your son frequently to the park. I don't think that 5-8 feet is too far away. And kudos to your nanny for not beating the other woman senseless! This is definitely a case of battery. I just don't understand what universe this woman is from, where it's okay to strike another's child!


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## momsadvice (Oct 9, 2007)

you need to call the police and at least have a report on it so they can keep a better eye on things. and say it happens again to another child they will look into it more likely. i would also write the paper to warn others about this behavior going on in your local parks. poor little one, i'm sorry.


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## xochimama (Oct 11, 2006)

Re: whether or not to report the other nanny in relation to her immigrant status, can you absolutely know it's true that she is an illegal immigrant?


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