# Would you freak out over this?



## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

I just wonder why some people when kids get bigger are more lenient on the carseats habbits?

My son and his friend have convertible carseats with the 5 point harnesses.
His grandma drove us to the park I go to get him to undo his straps -already undone -i said did you do that yourself or where you not buckled in.

Play in park, time to head home -this time I realize my ds carseat was loose in the car as in not buckled in -I ask why my son carseat was not buckled in-his friend grandma responds -they are big enough just to have the shoulder belt to go over them while they are in their seats as in no 5 point harnesses over them either

I couldn't believe she thought that was okay to improperly buckle my son without my knowledge - I freaked out realizing he was improperly unbuckled on the way to the park and I thought it was crazy for her to buckle her grandchild like that but her grandchild is not my child so nothing i could do about that.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

I couldn't follow all that.

I think shoulder belts are acceptable for short trips if it goes across his shoulder in the right place with the booster, and the child knows not to change the arrangement. If the child is going to slump out of the shoulder belt on a long trip then it's not going to be protective, or if the child doesn't fit in the booster.

Bear in mind we all rode around unbuckled or with a lap belt only at age 3 (meaning me at 37 and the grandmother) and probably no child we knew was ever hurt because injury crashes on a per trip or yearly basis are pretty rare. I never had any type of car seat at all as a baby, and that being a problem took decades and decades of motoring to figure out. Meanwhile babies sat on Mom's lap or slept on the back seat. So if you want to be safer than a shoulder belt with a booster to make it fit, that's fine and your choice and a good one.

As a teenager I was riding in the back seat without belt and was in the only traffic accident of my life that hurt and I didn't require treatment. I banged my head on the roof of the car. Taught me a lesson there it did.

It is an excellent idea to use belts and the more the better but at some point we say the benefit is not worth more buckling. We could build cars with individual safety shells for each passenger but we know that we like to talk, touch each other and see out the windows so we don't go that safe.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Whoa, that was difficult to follow! A little punctuation would go a long way in making that easier to read.









If I understand correctly, you're saying that your 3yo DS's friend's grandmother was using his carseat as a belt-positioning booster, using just the seatbelt with it (rather than securing the carseat to the car and then buckling your DS into it using the 5-point straps/buckles). Is that right?

If so, then yes, I'd be upset, since (in my state anyway) the law is that children must be 4 years old and 40 pounds before they should ride in such a manner.


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## elsanne (Mar 10, 2004)

No, I wouldn't freak out. But, I live in the land of no-child-ever-in-car-seat.


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
If so, then yes, I'd be upset, since (in my state anyway) the law is that children must be 4 years old and 40 pounds before they should ride in such a manner.

If you're still in CA -- I can't find that law. I didn't look hard, but it seems belt positioning boosters are OK if they are used under the conditions specified by the manufacturer. And the guidelines for overall restraint do not seem to be something like age AND weight but age OR weight. CA has recently said that children need to be in the back seat when possible, in a car seat or booster, until they are 6 OR 60 pounds.

http://www.chp.ca.gov/pdf/ca_vr_laws.pdf


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

I wouldn't allow that for my child, no.

Mine stay buckled in 5 point harnesses for as long as possible, and rear face for as long as possible. DD2 rear faced until nearly 4 years old. My 2 yo dd is rear facing.

I just don't believe that booster seats are as safe, let alone buckles and belts not even attached or used properly.







But hey, my child is my child yanno? I personally would not allow that for *MY* child. To *ME* its important. To others, not so much.







Its one of those parenting differences. Aren't they fun?


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

I am not lenient on seatbelts/carseats. Ever. And I would not allow my kids to be with someone, unsupervised who went against my wishes, and the law.

I have an 18 yr old niece who is permanently brain-damaged, who functions at the level of an 8 yr old, because some lazy sitter didn't strap her into the carseat when she was 11 mos old.

I don't care if my son's don't want in the carseat or seatbelts. I don't care if someone thinks I am mean for making them do something they don't want to do sometimes. I do not want to go through what my niece and my mom have gone through over the past 18 yrs. (my mother raised my niece) I also don't care if people tell me about the deaths caused by seatbelts/carseats. Yes, I know things happen. But, more kids are saved by carseats/belts than are not. This is one issue I will not negotiate on with my kids.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

I too am one who would not allow my child to not be buckled in properly ALL of the time. I am always shocked when parents that I respect allow their kids not to be buckled in properly. I was in a friend's minivan with my children and her 5 yo dd on the way to the zoo last summer. We were on the freeway, doing probably 75, and her dd kept unbuckling her seatbelt (she was in a booster thing) and wandering about. I couldn't believe it! Even my 12 yo ds has to be in our backseat (he hates this) and completely buckled before we even pull out of our driveway.


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## IndyNanny (Sep 20, 2007)

I always make sure that everyone is properly restrained in the car, be it my teens or my preschoolers. Even adults - heck, I don't want a ticket because someone didn't want to wear a seat belt. As far as the children go, driving or riding in a car is potentially a life threatening act, you just never know when some other driver is going to be careless. It's important to do whatever we can to keep them as safe as possible in the event of an accident. I know that we weren't all restrained when we were young, but now we have better and more options available to us to keep our children safe. I use them, as will anyone who takes my kids in a car.
Would I freak out? No, but it wouldn't happen again! (And I would definitely say something.)


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I guess I'm still confused about the OP -- did the grandmother use the booster seat for her own grandchild or for the OP's son? If it was her own grandchild I guess that's her decision, but if it were me and she used a booster for my 3yo, yeah, I'd be upset.


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

I'm having a hard time understanding the OP, but I freak out about children in cars. They're the leading cause of death, TONS of people don't "turn out just fine." My kids are ALWAYS safe in cars (my 5 yr. old is harnessed, my 2 yr. old is rear-facing, both are tethered with properly adjusted harnesses, no coats, etc. etc.) Any kid in my car, or ay car I'm riding in, will be properly secured. I have adjusted friends' carseats, tightened harnesses, etc. because it is a life or death issue and a child's safety precedes anyone's right to "parenting choices."


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Perhaps the OP's child is at the point where they are "properly restrained" both legally & according to the seat manufacturer's instructions the way the grandmother did it.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Moving to family safety


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Um, yeah I would freak out. A three year old in a shoulder belt is NOT "acceptable for short rides." It's not even legal, and nowhere even close to safe. Good for you for strapping him back in properly.


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## cam&kat's_mom (Jan 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *an_aurora* 
Um, yeah I would freak out. A three year old in a shoulder belt is NOT "acceptable for short rides." It's not even legal, and nowhere even close to safe. Good for you for strapping him back in properly.

it depends on the state where you live as to wether it's legal or not.
Here in VT the law is child seat or booster until age 8. Following the manufacturers guide. So for an evenflo highback booster a 30;b 3 year old that was 36 inches tall can sit in a belt positioning booster. Under 1 and under 20lbs must be rear facing. The law is there to protect however in it's vagueness by allowing peopel to folow the manufacturers guides it can put some kids in harms way.
and yes, i'd be ticked if someone were to put my child in an unrestrained booster at that age. HOWEVER that is why no one other thna my husband or I transport our children. IF my inlaws/parents do transport. then WE put the kids in and are headed to teh same place , and the kids only ride with them due to space. (or the desire to ride with them cause we're nto cool!







)


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## riversong (Aug 11, 2005)

The OP wrote that the grandmother's child was not buckled into his convertible car seat. That is definitely not ok. I would make sure that any child in a car with us (whether it is my car or not) is properly restrained. If another child is not buckled in, he could kill my child by becoming a flying object in a crash. I wouldn't let another adult put my child at risk. Of course, I would worry about the other person's child also.


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## IndyNanny (Sep 20, 2007)

My take on the op was that the G-ma was buckling the child into a convertible car seat (not a booster), securing the child with the car's seat belt not the car seat straps. Not okay to do! Not only is the seat not properly or securely fastened to the car, but the child is not safely restrained in the car seat.


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## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

Look at top both my son and his friend were improperly buckled in on way to park in convertible seats.

I buckled my son in right way on the way home -his friend stayed improperly unbuckled -couldn't fix that for his friend -not my child nor was it my car


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoB* 
I just wonder why some people when kids get bigger are more lenient on the carseats habbits?

Today a grandma of my son's friend took us to the park and I go to get him going your not buckled in when we get to park so when it comes time to go home the carseat wasn''t even buckled in I'm like yikes and she goes well they are big enough it can go over their shoulder meaning leaving the carseat unbuckled and she considered them to be buckled in like that and what's even worse he didn't have his buckle straps on that's is in his convertibe carseat so I fixed it to have the buckle the right way and his body was buckled in his seat she thought I was crazy but I just want him to be safe and secure.

both are 3 and only a month apart


Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoB* 
I will re edit - my son does not have a booster seat -30 lbs very short -convertible seat -his friend seat is the same -my son was buckled improperly without my knowledge until i got into the backseat -going wow -he couldn't unbuckle himself that quick so when it was time to go home I saw the shoulder belt not even through the carseat shoulder slot that is when his friend grandma said they are big enough to just use the shoulder belts across the seat -meaning carseat not buckled in nor did the kids have their buckle harnesses on -i thought that was absolutely crazy -buckled my son the right way while his friend sat in her convertible seat with the shoulder belt across her -i thought it was ridicolous -but his friend is not my child but when I found out my son was improperly buckled freaked me out









I tried to read and respond, but I couldn't follow what you were saying without commas and periods.







:
I can say that I am crazy anal about car seat safety, so whatever the issue was, I probably would have freaked over it.


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## alexysmommy (Mar 9, 2005)

yeah that is illegal ANYWHERE you live. You can not use a regular convertible car seat as a booster seat w/ just a seat belt thrown across it.









I still havnt gotten if it was your kid or not, i cant quite follow everything you said. In PA, you have to have your kid in a car seat (not booster ) until age 4. Then a booster from 4 -8. Have no idea about other states though, i think our states is one of the "strictor" ones.


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## momsadvice (Oct 9, 2007)

First of all I do not care whos car you were in or who's chjild it is. When I am in any car everyone is buckled properly or we are not moving. Just because he is not your son does not mean you shouldn't of stood up for him and educated her for him. BTW why was a stranger that you do not know well enough buckling your child in at all. If you do not know someone weel enough to know their veiws on things like this and they do not know yours you should have been the one buckeling your own child in in the first place. While you were doing yours you would have seen how she was doing the friend and corrected it right then not after the fact.


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

I wouldn't just expect a grandmother to know all the ins & outs of carseats. My mom does pretty well, but I showed her, I didn't just assume she'd figure it out.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momsadvice* 
First of all I do not care whos car you were in or who's chjild it is. When I am in any car everyone is buckled properly or we are not moving. Just because he is not your son does not mean you shouldn't of stood up for him and educated her for him. BTW why was a stranger that you do not know well enough buckling your child in at all. If you do not know someone weel enough to know their veiws on things like this and they do not know yours you should have been the one buckeling your own child in in the first place. While you were doing yours you would have seen how she was doing the friend and corrected it right then not after the fact.

I don't agree with this. I would trust a responsible adult to buckle my child in. I wouldn't trust another child but another adult with children and grandchildren of their own I would assume would know what to do. I guess I'm just not paranoid enough to think I am the only one that knows how to properly fasten a seat belt(since the shoulder straps and all would already be at the proper adjustments anyway). A quick look when have been all that was needed to see things weren't done right but that's all I would have done. I do think that once you realized she was not properly buckling up the boys you should have told her or showed her what was right. I agree three is too young for a lap belt.


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## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

I didn't think the grandma would buckle improper at this since we have rode together since the kids were one even in october she buckled both right but now was the first time of improper buckling


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoB* 
I didn't think the grandma would buckle improper at this since we have rode together since the kids were one even in october she buckled both right but now was the first time of improper buckling


Ah. In that case, I'd have assumed she knew better too.


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