# What kind of child do serious babies grow up to be?



## BlueWolf

I felt this didn't really fall into one of the Ages and Stages categories because it really covers all the bases. So, I apologize to the Mods if I did pick the wrong forum section.









My DD is a very serious little baby. Her smiles and laughs have to be earned. She's very intent on what she's playing with, who she's looking at, and her entire surroundings. She's was a very highly alert newborn. We had many nurses at the hospital even comment on that. She's not a go with the flow type of baby. Her days are scheduled because that's the way _she_ likes them, not because I wanted to fit her into a routine. She also fits into the "high needs" category for babies. She is fussy most of the time. The saying "she requires more out of people/ her parents than the average baby" fits her to the T.

My question is, for those who've had babies like this, what kind of children to they grow up to be? What are they like as toddlers? Or as 10 year olds? Or as teenagers? Are there any unique parenting challenges for children like this?


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## mariamadly

We have two wonderful, intense, highly perceptive and interactive children! They're 17 and 20 and were / are each serious in their own way. One reacted with more outward intensity to the world, the other took longer to warm up to a given person or situation. Those are still their respective approaches.

What it meant for our family is that our parenting had to hold up every. single. moment. Not as in perfect all the time, but we needed to make sure that whatever we did or said was addressed either during or after the fact. Both DCs are just too observant and have been from the beginning; DH and I sometimes thought of them as somberly omniscient as infants!

Oddly, they each have a really great sense of humor which in no way lessens how seriously they take things, but it's a very healthy way to carry the world and their perception of it.

They are such neat people. Enjoy yours!


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## Birdie B.

I'm interested in this, too.


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## racheepoo

My serious little baby is now a serious, but highly mischievous, almost 6 year old. He's still intense, still needs much more structure than I would prefer to provide, and is still an old soul. He's awesome.









As far as parenting challenges...for me, he's highly sensitive and very intuitive. Most people assume children don't notice details, whereas he will walk away from a conversation and be able to recall every detail of the conversation as well as body language, what they were wearing, etc. He can remember all the way back to 18 months of age. It's exhausting at times, and at times I forget how young he really is. Those are the challenging times for me.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~

My 2 year old was a very serious baby. Hes a freaking wing nut now. go figure.


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## rightkindofme

My niece was a very serious, intense, challenging baby. (I lived with her so I had to experience a lot of it--plus I'm 11 years older so she's more like a younger sister.) As a small child she was still very difficult pretty much all the time. Her personality was also such that it was difficult to like her. She just wasn't ... fun or pleasant.

But now she's almost 18 and she's really awesome. Around 12/13 she had an abrupt turn around and she realized how a lot of her behavior affected the people around and stopped. It was really surprising. She now has a good head on her shoulders and is working towards a better future but she doesn't have a stick up her







.


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## Anastasiya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BlueWolf* 
Her smiles and laughs have to be earned.

She's very intent on what she's playing with.

She's was a very highly alert newborn.

She's not a go with the flow type of baby.

Her days are scheduled because that's the way _she_ likes them, not because I wanted to fit her into a routine.

She also fits into the "high needs" category for babies.

She is fussy most of the time.

I know three people with children like this - to a T - (and when I mean I know them I mean I know the parents from online, not in real life, so I've never met the kids myself), and every one of them said the same of their kids as babies.

According to their own parents, they are very challenging and often times hard-to-deal-with kids. Not because they are naughty or ill disciplined, but because they have very, _very_ strong wills, _need_ rigid schedules, and have very high expectations. They are all still very high-needs and very fussy kids, sometimes bordering on downright anger.

They haven't grown up yet so I don't know anything more than that.

That said, these children I know are all complete intellectuals. I mean, they are blow-you-away SMART.

I think sometimes life isn't all that happy and carefree for them because their brains are too big for their bodies....kind of like how an intellectually advanced child stuck in a classroom gets annoyed, angered and bored just sitting there waiting for the class to catch up?

These kids need more and crave more and don't know how to get more. They need bigger challenges. And if the parents can't provide those challenges, then the kids react with anger or fussing because they feel unfulfilled and "stuck" in a rut. Very frustrating and wearying for both parent and child, I'm sure. But very rewarding in the end, too.


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## Kuba'sMama

My ds was a very serious baby and is a somewhat more-serious-than average six and a half year old. The term "old soul" fits. We do call him an old man sometimes too! Kind of like those grumpy old men type? He likes things "just so", follows rules religiously, craves order, etc. But since I'm this way, I'm biased to think it's great, lol! He has some quirky old man interests too; watching documentaries about wars, for example. He has a low tolerance for people, especially silly, messy, loud ones. He just mutters sarcastically under his breath (hence the old man, lol). Overall, he's awesome! Eccentric definately though.
ETA; he likes to pull his socks way high too!


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## Gimme Pineapple

Everyone says I was a serious baby. I wasn't fussy, but if someone tried to get me to smile, my mom says I would just stare them down. My grandma's favorite story is someone trying to talk to me and get me to smile. She kept saying "You are such a pretty little girl. Do you like birds? Can you say bird?" And I just stood there staring at her, completely blank faced. Then when she walked away I said "Memaw, why did that crazy lady want me to say 'bird'?" According to my family, I didn't interact with people I didn't know well. I was alert and focused. Seems like a few things you described. My smiles and laughs definitely had to be earned.

As a child, I was incredibly shy. While I don't consider myself to be wildly intelligent, I was in gifted programs and went to a magnet high school. I was a pretty good teenager, but I had a smart mouth and some social anxiety. As an adult, I am still pretty socially awkward and introverted. Luckily, my good friends think those are my most charming traits.


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## mntnmom

My DD was very intense, but not really high needs as she usually entertained herself. Her preschool teacher called her "methodical", and it still fits at 6. She is sure of what she wants, and is insistent on getting it! She can be very silly, but she has a very quick understanding of more "grown up " humor.


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## Sweetiemommy

I think they turn into awesome little people. We had a rough time with toddlerhood, but once he could talk, he was very good at explaining what he needed. He is just all around a neat kid. He says some of the most perceptive things and is compassionate and considerate. We're having a great time as he enters the school aged years.


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## aprons_and_acorns

My son was very serious as a baby. If someone he didn't know tried to interact with him he would just stare at them or even look away. It created some awkward situations in grocery store lines, etc. LOL He was serious with toys, books, people, everything. His belly laughs were like gold to me because they weren't an everyday thing.

He was and still is slow to warm up to people but once you are in the "inner circle" you are in like Flynn as they say.

Now, at age five, he is intensely interested in cars and engines, shies away from large group activities and loves to play one-on-one or even on his own. He is very popular with friends, sensitive, even-keeled, and very easy to live with. We all adore him!


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## Cascadian

Intense, focused, sensitive, very intelligent







My DD is now 6 and was a VERY serious baby, never smiled at strangers, observed everything. She now totally absorbs information from the environment, is very detail oriented, has a spectacular memory and seems much older than her years. I take such pleasure in her company









The odd thing is - and I don't know if this is a Myers Briggs personality thing - she LOVES to perform, and frequently will be at the centre of a group. She'll never be the most outgoing one initially, but when she gets comfortable...hang on, she'll take over because she's so confident! Kids are absolutely drawn to her.


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## Holiztic

I see DS in everything you all are saying. He's only (almost) 3 now, but is so observant, picks up on everything everyone says (or doesn't say). He's showing some psychic tendencies, but could grow out of that. If anyone is even a little stressed--he's a mess. Everything HAS to be a certain way for him. Its not the same as him having to get his way--he's not like that any more than another 3 yo, but if you put something away in the wrong place--oh boy!

He's fastidious, wipes his mouth after every.single.bite. I kid you not! Eats everything we give him and will sit at the table for 1+ hours at almost every meal. He has serious self control (at 2.75!). Earlier this week I told him he couldn't have the chocolate-covered-almond until he finished his soup. I put it right in front of his bowl (well within reach). I even left the room for a few minutes. Still there when I got back, still there 10 minutes later while he forced the soup down. Not really forced, but he was definitely not into it anymore!

He potty trained at 18 months, took 3 days. He now sleeps in underwear.

He's used a real plate and glass since he was 10 months. He helps my chop vegetables for meals (with a table knife) and has for over a year now.

He's insistent on follow-through. If I ask him to put his plate on the counter after a meal, and then he has to pee--and I mistakenly take his plate--he gets upset. He MUST do it if it has been asked or discussed, whatever "it" is.

Last, but not least, he's well ahead in language/math concepts, gifted I would guess. He speaks like a 4-5 year old and his reasoning skills and memory astound us.

I am not sure how much I believe, but what little I have read of Indigo Children rings mostly true--though he's not hyperactive.

He's an Aries, so I never thought he'd be an old soul. Sometimes I think the brand new souls can look much like an old soul (visionary vs. wise).


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## gcgirl

I was BORN serious. I'm still serious. Thanks to finding friends who taught me how to find humor in the oddest places, I have developed a keen, if off-kilter, sense of humor, and a wild 'n crazy streak on occasion. But I have always taken things and people seriously, and I don't laugh or smile easily.

Doesn't mean I don't have rich friendships, good times, treasured memories or that I lack joy in my life. Just treasure your LOs for who they are. They will astound you with their depths, I promise.


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## BlueWolf

The common denominator that has stood out to me the most is that serious babies are highly observant and high intelligent. They sound like world changers to me.


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## FiveLittleMonkeys

My serious baby grew into a serious 12 yo with a seriously witty sense of humor and a delightful personality. She is wicked smart, and very independent. She has been described as a very old soul.


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## Landover

Wow.... you just described my son to a TEE.

My very serious, high needs infant turned into the exact same type of toddler and young boy. He is still very high needs in that he questions everything, seeks out the weak spots in any argument, and he is very sensitive to the world around him.

He is funny in his own, dry way. He does not laugh out loud often, and he is discerning in what he chooses to engage in. For example, at Disney World, when all of the other children are doing the dances with Mickey, he is sitting and enjoying the show. It is like he sees no need to dance as it might interrupt how he can view the show or something. But... he still takes the same joy in things.

He learned to read well at age 3.5. At 4, he now enjoys being read intense chapter books such as The Chronicles of Narnia. He asks questions about things in the world that befuddle adults.... "Mommy, if God made the dinosaurs and God made us... He must have done it at two different times because we did not exist with the dinosaurs. Will God make something else later and we will not exist anymore?" That type of thing.... all.the.time.

Parenting him is a full-time job. Way more full time then parenting my happy-go-lucky little girl. He learns from everything so I cannot make rash parenting decisions.

All of that craziness aside.... he is so much fun. He challenges me as a person to be more patient and intelligent. He is a gift to the world in a very unique way.

My husband always says that our DS is going to be successful no matter what he chooses to do... so we better make sure to steer him right, or he will be a criminal genius.


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## claddaghmom

That's the way my mom described me. Her sentiment? "I hope you have ten as revenge"









I don't know if you want my life synopsis, though, nor do I know if it has to do w/ being a silent baby.


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## annekh23

Hmm, my middle child fits some of the descriptions of serious, she behaved like she came out the womb wearing a watch and having read a baby care manual from the 50s. But she wasn't a high needs baby, so I'm not sure if she really fits the description.

At 4.5, probably the best description of her is strong willed, exceedingly strong willed, she just threw a tantrum with DH because she didn't want to go home from the park, I get that, but to maintain the tantrum all the way home with him having to carry her and her bike that's pretty intense.


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## phrogger

This sounds like my 10 year old. As a baby/young child he was very difficult. It was such a drastic difference from my first who was so easy going. There were times I thought I was going to rip my hair out, and there wasn't a lot of validation from the baby that things were going good. He just demanded and I didn't receive a lot of affection or obvious signs of joy from him in return.

Now at 10, he is a crack up. He is kind, sweet, loving and so smart. He is just a wonderful little man to be around. However, you still have to earn your way into his heart and if you are on the outside of his circle, he can come off as cold. Frankly, at 10, I am ok with that. I don't think he needs to be open and free with everyone and he is the type who is a really good judge of character. So if he likes you, you know you are a good person.

I do however love that he has finally become a snuggler. It took years, but he finally got there.


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## GranoLLLy-girl

My dd is STILL a very serious little person. She will be 8 in April--at birth she never smiled--and in fact, I have NO pictures of her smiling for the camera until she was two--and even then, we had to work to get those smiles. She was very intense, very high needs baby.
She now attends a gifted magnet public school--and was screened at her homeschool and was identified gifted in the first grade (which is how it is done in the public schools where I live in Virginia). She plays violin and is considered gifted there as well. She lives everything in its place to this day.
She loves math and science--go figure, since I hate math.
Her little brother was the EASIEST baby on the planet--but is NOW the high needs one! I can't figure these kids out. Both were reading well at age three.
But dad is gifted (identified in his youth) and now is director of technology for a health care system where we live--so I don't know if they got it from him or if it's because of who there were at birth.
It's hard to tell.


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## MissyCham

My daughter was a very serious baby (but easy) as well. She was not easily made to laugh or even smile, but spent a lot of time studying objects and taking the world in. I'm sure some people wondered if something was wrong, but I could see her gears turning.

Fast forward .. she just turned eight. She is very smart and independent. She'll never be the life of the party and is rather shy, but manages to make plenty of friends. She has an amazing ability to concentrate. She's lovely. She was born this way and will most always show these traits. I'm sure you have a lovely child too!


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## LizLizard

My very serious baby (rarely laughed or smiled, very deliberate in her speech and actions) is now a serious 3.5 year old. She does smile and laugh a lot more now, but her enjoyment tends to be from the weirdest things. She also doesn't play with toys, for the most part, loves the computer and rarely tantrums, just argues.







Smart as a whip, she scares me sometimes with her questions and observations. She LOVES Cars, but her favorite car is Bob Cutlass. She also loves Finding Nemo but her favorite fish is Gill. She's a weird bird, but awesome.


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## kakay

I was a very bright child. As I baby I never smiled. Photographers took hours to make me smile. As for the things I smiled at where for matured humor. I started to speak very early at 9 months And I started straight in sentences not words. My first sentence was to tell my father to give me some coke while we were having dinner. I never spoke like a baby. Didn't slur or mess up words. Didn't say goo gaga.
Plus I also started running instead of crawling at 9 mos. I grew up in a messed up family. We moved every year. And I never got to settle down or have a routine. As a baby I was told to be the fussiest... Most sensitive. I played with threads in the floor instead of my toys. I wondered about trees and skies rather than people. I broke things that looked interesting. I wanted to break them apart to make new things out of them. As a kid and teen I was a social outcast. When I spoke to my peers they thought I was crazy or stupid that I opened up so much. I talked with full open honestly. I could never lie or be social never say comments like well I don't have life etc) actually told people where I kept my clothes... Plus I wasn't raised normal either. 4 other siblings and we moved every year of my life and were kept isolated. No other family member beside my siblings father and mom. No friends. No community. And no tv. Not to mention, used or homemade clothes and used books all my life. Besides the fact my life wasn't ideal... I grew up to be very strong and smart. Still singled out my whole life. Still was never fully understood by anyone. No one got my deep philosophical thoughts. And everyone only talked about useless daily small things which doesn't matter to me.
At 16 I started to falter. Grades fell. Went in to a pattern. Couldn't stick to anything. Tried my best to finish things with high more than normal energy and motivation and would have completed them if it was for the sudden depression that made me helpless and a complete shut in. My mother told me that at 7 I was diagnosed for adjustment disorder. And that if I didn't take meds at that age I would not be able to function in my teens or have a normal life ever. And now I am 25.... Still same pattern. Can't keep a job. Can't complete my college. Can't connect with people. They are too dumb. Can't stick to routine it's too useless. To boring. I'm going to get my lithium today.... I have bipolar manic depression type 1 with extreme mania and mixed episodes I
and might even have aspergers
At age 22 I took lithium for a bit. The only time in my life I actually finished one semester with high grades and kept a full time job at the same time.

Please take your child to get diagnosed early on and don't hesitate to treat them for what the doctor says to.... I wish my parents treated me when I was a kid. I wouldn't have had this much trouble now. I'm incapable of being normal. Of fitting in. Of having friends or working on one place for too long. Everyone thinks I'm crazy. They don't understand the deep things I say....


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## kakay

And make sure to give your baby routine. Make a safe world for her. Don't do change too much. Make her life stable. It might the only chance for her to have a normal life.


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