# I need somebody to be bluntly honest with me, please!!!



## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

Here is the thread of updates, that include 2 u/s pics

Fast forward to today, I got a phone call from the obgyn doctor, who said my levels are dropping, and I begged yet again for one more ultrasound. Last thursday, my dx was a blighted ovum. Friday I begged for another u/s which showed something, but not sure what. Monday I had another u/s which showed 2 specs (what they are now referring to as debris) and then today, a misformed sac, misformed yolk, increased blood around the sac...and declared the pregnancy gone. I was given a ZERO percent chance that anything was alive, and that there was no hope. I watched closely, looking and praying for a heartbeat, or a fetus, there was nothing. I'm running a low grade fever..getting sick, although this could be stress.

Tommorrow I go in for a D&C. My husband agreed with me that we will ask for another u/s before the procedure, and if they do not give it, we are walking out of the hospital.

I can't trust my own judgement. I'm not bleeding, but not feeling as pregnant. I'm numb.

I'm so exausted that I can barely stay awake, and I'm ready for bed again now. I'm not doing good. Not able to care for my daughter at all. My mom is here, thank god.

I KNOW FOR A FACT I got pregnant on May 13th. There is no doubt in my mind. It is the only time I had sex in May, and it is the last time I had sex.

Please give me your honest, blunt opinions. don't worry about hurting feelings, I just need someone to be blunt. Nobody IRL will. I'm really really hoping that some miracle will happen and the heartbeat will be detected in the am.

Here are the last 2 u/s. The first is from friday, second from monday (yesterday)

Has this happened to anyone here? any words of wisdom? I don't even know what I'm asking


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## SuburbanHippie (Aug 29, 2008)

*Putting on my big girl panties*

I would go ahead with the D&C since you have a fever. You don't want the infection to escalate. The ultrasounds don't look "good" to me (not like I'm an expert or anything, I just have 4 kids and have seen quite a few u/s). I'm so very sorry for your loss.









I know how you feel about hoping for miracle. I was the same way earlier in the month. I just kept hoping because if you don't have hope, you have nothing. It turns out I had nothing after all. I'm picking up the pieces of my life now and trying to appreciate what I do have. A loving husband and healthy, happy children.


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SuburbanHippie* 
*Putting on my big girl panties*

I would go ahead with the D&C since you have a fever. You don't want the infection to escalate. The ultrasounds don't look "good" to me (not like I'm an expert or anything, I just have 4 kids and have seen quite a few u/s). I'm so very sorry for your loss.









I know how you feel about hoping for miracle. I was the same way earlier in the month. I just kept hoping because if you don't have hope, you have nothing. It turns out I had nothing after all. I'm picking up the pieces of my life now and trying to appreciate what I do have. A loving husband and healthy, happy children.

Thank you so much for your honesty, and I'm so sorry you are going/went through this also. ((hugs))


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## bluebirdiemama (May 2, 2008)

I am so sorry


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I would definitely do the u/s before hand so that their are no doubts left in your mind.


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## mum4vr (Jan 31, 2007)

praying for you, mama, for healing and comfort and if possible, your miracle.

Please do get another u/s. The 2nd one looks a lot like my ds1's at about 5 weeks... (not a trained eye, here).

I am so sorry for your pain and grief and uncertainty, and so so sorry for about the d+c.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

I can't say one way or another about the u/s, as I never had an early u/s with my son and my loss was at 17 weeks, so, no idea what an early one might look like. But I would definitely get another one before the D&C, if for nothing else, the peace of mind. Things can be difficult enough to handle after a loss without any uncertainty and what ifs&#8230;

Peace to you. You are in my thoughts


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

Okay, I'm not seeing a measurement on the 2nd u/s, though the first gestational sac seems indicative of the right size and a yolk sac -- what's missing is a fetal pole. Your second u/s shows a malformed sac, the absence of the yolk sac, and no fetal pole. Addtionally the dark spots at the edge of the gestational sac in the upper right and upper left are indications of blood pooling as the sac begins to separate from the uterine wall.

My assessment, not as anything CLOSE to a medical professional, only from my experience -- last summer, on 7/9, I had an u/s that looked EXACTLY like your first. I went back in a week later and it looked very similar to your second. I waited 2 weeks after that and ended up inducing a miscarriage with misoprostal. There was initial indication of a yolk sac, but the 2nd u/s confirmed that the yolk sac and fetal pole had broken down - indicating a very early fetal demise (6 weeks or so).

Certainly, you are within your rights to ask for a repeat u/s before they do the procedure tomorrow. I think that it's a very very good idea, not because I think the diagnosis is wrong, but because the emotional closure provided by the u/s can be necessary for many people.

Now that I've been clinical, let me please say this: I am so terribly sorry for your loss.


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MFuglei* 
Okay, I'm not seeing a measurement on the 2nd u/s, though the first gestational sac seems indicative of the right size and a yolk sac -- what's missing is a fetal pole. Your second u/s shows a malformed sac, the absence of the yolk sac, and no fetal pole. Addtionally the dark spots at the edge of the gestational sac in the upper right and upper left are indications of blood pooling as the sac begins to separate from the uterine wall.

My assessment, not as anything CLOSE to a medical professional, only from my experience -- last summer, on 7/9, I had an u/s that looked EXACTLY like your first. I went back in a week later and it looked very similar to your second. I waited 2 weeks after that and ended up inducing a miscarriage with misoprostal. There was initial indication of a yolk sac, but the 2nd u/s confirmed that the yolk sac and fetal pole had broken down - indicating a very early fetal demise (6 weeks or so).

Certainly, you are within your rights to ask for a repeat u/s before they do the procedure tomorrow. I think that it's a very very good idea, not because I think the diagnosis is wrong, but because the emotional closure provided by the u/s can be necessary for many people.

Now that I've been clinical, let me please say this: I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

This is almost exactly what the obgyn told me today. He said that things are "breaking down". I'm so sorry you went through this also


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MFuglei* 
Certainly, you are within your rights to ask for a repeat u/s before they do the procedure tomorrow. I think that it's a very very good idea, not because I think the diagnosis is wrong, but because the emotional closure provided by the u/s can be necessary for many people.


I think this is wise counsel.


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## Rach (Nov 11, 2003)




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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I had an extra ultrasound before being induced after my fetal demise, and I was glad I did. It gave me more peace of mind. They actually offered it, I didn't have to ask, so at least with that office it must be a fairly common request.


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## Katica (Jan 13, 2008)

I went through something very similar and my last u/s looked a lot like yours. I did end up miscarrying...
It's a terrible place to be, I'm so sorry








I do believe they always do an u/s before a d&c but you should ask for it just in case. They wouldn't deny it.
Many hugs..


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

They did one, and the only difference is there was more blood. I had the D&C today. When I got there, my b/p was 73/37! I was also given Pitocin afterwards so needless to say, I'm pretty crampy and sore. Thanks everyone so much for the much needed support and sorry that we all have to be in this forum kwim


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## dfunk98 (Jul 14, 2005)




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## Snugglebugmom (Mar 17, 2008)

I am so very sorry for your loss.







I hope you will heal quickly physically, and more important than that, I wish you peace of mind and an end to your emotional pain. I wish things could have been different for you.


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## FarmerCathy (Jun 28, 2005)

mama. I am still healing as well from my miscarriage on the 27th. I have been having to take it easy and trying to take care of myself as best I can.


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FarmerCathy* 







mama. I am still healing as well from my miscarriage on the 27th. I have been having to take it easy and trying to take care of myself as best I can.









Just one minute at a time. This is hard, harder than I ever thought it would be. I'm so sorry for your baby is gone as well.. to sum it up in two words, this sucks


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## sarahmck (Feb 11, 2005)

I'm a little late to the party. I was going to tell you that I think it's important that you be 100% convinced that your baby is dead before the D&C or you would always wonder. I know that I was nursing major fantasies that they were wrong between my first bad ultrasound and my confirmation several weeks later. Once I had that second one, I was committed to really trying to get myself to miscarry naturally.

I'm so sorry. As everyone says, there's not much that anyone can say other than that you're not at all alone in this, and, at least in my case, it does get better.

Out of curiosity, what was the medical explanation for your extremely low BP?


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## lmevans (Oct 17, 2006)

big hugs mama

Wow, that was some LOW bp!!


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