# APing, Sleep & CIO



## TonyaW (Dec 5, 2006)

My son is 1 yr old now and I need to make some changes regarding sleep. Currently I have to lay down with him for him to go to sleep. I would like to get him to where he will fall asleep while laying in his crib after nursing if he doesn't fall asleep nursing. We do cosleep and I want to continue that at night, but I want him to fall asleep in the crib. I tried a bit today after spending 3o min laying with him for his nap. The moment I lay him in his crib he stands up, so I laid him down over and over again. He seemed sleepy but never fell asleep and this resulted in his crying. I tried for probably 15 minutes. I was there rubbing, comforting, sssshhhing and gave him hugs and kept laying him down. I eventually gave up and picked him up and he nursed to sleep after already having nursed before all this. I really want him to be able to fall asleep in his crib and I would appreciate advice on how to do this. I think if I could get this to happen it would help a lot because usually I have to lay down with him for at least half his nap and he wakes up 4 or more times at night. When I have more kids this can't be happening. I don't think I will be able to handle it as I am already sleep deprived and wouldn't want to have to do CIO in the future.


----------



## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

I don't have much advice b/c I nursed ds to sleep until he was 17months. You should cross post this is the Nighttime Parenting Forum.


----------



## mamaD (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm waiting to see what others suggest, DD and I are in a similar situation and it's not working for me anymore! (BTW- DD has the same bdate as your DS!)


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Since nursing to sleep is working, I would really stick with it right now. A year is often a hard time for sleep ANYWAY without asking for major changes. Many babies just won't lay down and go to sleep. They need to be parented all the way to sleep for years, not months.

-Angela


----------



## SweetPotato (Apr 29, 2006)

My dd is 25 months and still nurses to sleep. I guess I don't understand why this would be a problem. Most of my friends IRL have weaned and have their children go to sleep alone-- but I know that they all go through their share of bedtime angst. Many of them have their whole evening tied up in "routines" geared to getting their child to fall asleep, and those who have done CIO are still having major sleep struggles. I think it's important to remember that kids change as they grow-- so finding a special key to getting them to sleep tonight might not work tomorrow night or next week or a month from now. I agree that if nursing to sleep works then - hooray!

I guess I also mean to say that I think NOT stressing over things like this is something that I think has made it easier for my family. We all have dinner, dd sometimes has a bath, we read and play, dh and I watch Grey's Anatomy, and dd goes to sleep when she's really tired- she asks to nurse, climbs into my lap, and is out. If I was spending 30-60-90 minutes doing "routines", shushing, patting, etc., I think that I, personally, would get a bit resentful. Certainly if we were to have another child at this point it could be difficult-- but that's one of many reasons why we're not having another child yet- because the child we already have still needs a lot from us.

Nursing all night is another story altogether, and I can certainly relate to the exhaustion that can result. We still cosleep, and dd usually wakes 2 times a night to nurse now, which is doable for me. I have a whole list of things that I tried and sometimes credit with cutting down the night wakings, but I honestly think that teething and development have more to do with it than anything I do or don't do.


----------



## Shanana (May 11, 2005)

I don't have much advice for the getting to sleep part, but Dr. Jay Gordon has some good suggestions for night weaning, if you're looking to do that. Just google Jay Gordon night wean, and it should come right up.


----------



## MammaB21 (Oct 30, 2007)

My DD is the same way. But she is 20 months. I think it is quite a big jump to go from nursing, and laying with him for his naps, to laying him down and expecting him to fall asleep on his own. We have just now started a nap and nighttime ruitine for DD. She would wake also, and want me to hold her threw her naps. Now we read a book, nurse on the couch, and then bring her into OUR room. Her bed is up to our for her naps. I think this is important because it is where she is used to sleeping. We shut all the curtons and turn on some classical soft music. Then I hold her and bounce or sway and walk her around the room until she falls asleep. At first it took sometimes close to an hour for her to finally fall asleep. It very quickly got shorter and shorter. As this is in place, we have started to lay her down sooner. So instead of waiting until she is 'fully' asleep, we lay her down right away. She will squirm and cry a bit, but we rub her back and she falls back asleep. Doing this has kept her sleeping a full 2 hours for nap. If I nurse her to sleep for nap, she sleeps less then an hour, and wakes up really upset.
This is just what is working for us, and may not be for everyone, but hope helped alittle. Just hang in there, and be patient. If this is what your goal is, you have to be realistic about the fact that it will take a while. Another suggestion would be to just wear him in a sling, that way you can get stuff done, but he still feels close to you. I'm sure he would take excellent naps that way. Good luck.


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Since nursing to sleep is working, I would really stick with it right now. A year is often a hard time for sleep ANYWAY without asking for major changes. Many babies just won't lay down and go to sleep. They need to be parented all the way to sleep for years, not months.

-Angela

Yep. I nightweaned my son over the summer due to pregnancy exhaustion, which then caused him to completely wean. And lo and behold, he still gets up in the night - but now there is no "magic" way to put him back to sleep, like nursing.


----------



## maryeb (Aug 8, 2005)

What about your ds just napping in your bed? Can you sneak away after he falls asleep? I feel like it's a really big change and expectation that he will just fall asleep, even if sleepy, in the crib. You may have to work on this routine for quite some time. I do understand about wanting a break, and not desiring to lay with your child for what can sometimes seem like forever, it just seems like a sudden change will take a lot more work. It's true, as some pps pointed out, that babies and toddlers just really need to be parented to sleep. Ds has for a few months now nursed then rolled over and fallen asleep in bed. He is 26 mo.

Are you thinking about having another soon and that has prompted you to make changes, thinking ahead? If not I would not necessarily worry about it as his sleep patterns will most likely change before that happens or during your pregnancy. At a year, that was hard. There were so many changes going on for ds. He was practicing walking in bed, during the night! He was learning more words, he was getting those god awful molars, etc...a lot has changed since. And it will for you too. Is there another way you can give yourself a break? Personally, this is what I would work toward. That's me. Good luck. Mary


----------



## ABrez (Apr 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Since nursing to sleep is working, I would really stick with it right now. A year is often a hard time for sleep ANYWAY without asking for major changes. Many babies just won't lay down and go to sleep. They need to be parented all the way to sleep for years, not months.

-Angela

I totally agree with this. I'm 31 and sometimes I still like DH to lay with me while I fall asleep.


----------



## FallingLeaves (Nov 30, 2006)

My 31 month old DD, self weaned a while ago but she still needs me to lay down with her to fall alseep. Sometimes it takes 5 minutes, sometimes it takes an hour and a half. I am pregnant and sometimes it is frustrating when I need to get up and get things done after she goes to sleep but she is only going to be little for a short time so I don't mind this arrangement.

I can also remember being little and being terrified to go to sleep by myself. I remember how safe and secure I felt when my mom laid down with me so I could fall to sleep.

Sorry I don't have any advice for you.


----------



## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Quote:

Since nursing to sleep is working, I would really stick with it right now. A year is often a hard time for sleep ANYWAY without asking for major changes. Many babies just won't lay down and go to sleep. They need to be parented all the way to sleep for years, not months.

-Angela
Totally agree! I still have to do this with my DS and he is nearly 27 months old. But tbh - its only a few mintues of my time and whats a few mintues of his life...these years pass by so fast one day I will be looking back and wishing for them again so I am not about to hurry them by.


----------



## RainbowsMum (Jun 4, 2006)

OP - I'm having simmilar problems, she's started waking a lot more at nighttime, although I'm told my many people it's because she's teething. I am trying to adjust her to her cot during the day for naps and sleeping in the evening before I come to bed as I'm afraid she will wake up before I hear her and fall out of our bed. Usualy I nurse her to sleep, but she does go to sleep with motion too, so like a PP suggested I may try to get her to sleep but moving her and see if I can put her into her cot from there.... I think it all depends on the child and patience. I could never leave her to CIO, it would break my heart. Good luck!!


----------



## CallMeKelly (May 8, 2007)

I nuse DS to sleep in a rocking chair and then when he gets "heavy" suddenly I know he is safe to move. I work nights and DH can't co-sleep so I put him in a "crib" on nights I work but we co-sleep when I'm home. He is 13 mo and sleeps from 8pm to 6:30 am, no prob.

I use a rocking chaier to nurse to sleep because the move after is easier... It seemed to wake him up each time I moved him after laying down, but not in the rocker... hth, nak oht


----------



## blue butterfly (Nov 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JL'smom* 
she is only going to be little for a short time so I don't mind this arrangement.

I can also remember being little and being terrified to go to sleep by myself. I remember how safe and secure I felt when my mom laid down with me so I could fall to sleep.










:

i suppose if you wanted you could try a binkie or getting lo to suck his thumb but i have to tell you my dd uses a binkie but i still lay with her while she falls asleep (we co-sleep) which can take up to a half an hour.

one day dd will be 15 and i'll dream of the days when she needed me to cuddle her to sleep!


----------



## MommaGreenBean (May 8, 2007)

My 14 mo starts out in her port a crib if I want her to. Mostly because, er, I got tired of all our 'couple time' being on the couch and wanted to use the bed for a few minutes









I had to put a bunch of quilts in the bottom of it, if you feel crib mattresses compared to adult mattresses, they are so uncomfortable! I might get her some firm-ish foam too.

Then some nights (teething) I just nurse her to sleep in our bed because I know she's not going to sleep well. But if she's going down easily, I can nurse her to sleep on the couch or something and then lay her down in the crib. At first it took a bunch of nurse to sleep-lay down-wake up-nurse to sleep-lay down-wake up, but now she usually stays asleep. She just took a while to get used to sleeping in her crib, just like it's a little disorienting for me to sleep in an unfamiliar bed. I guess persistence is the key, or at least it was for my DD. I had to do the same thing for her naps because I had to go back to my telecommuting job when she was a couple months old. It's just teaching her that it's okay to sleep, mommy will be right here if you need her. I've never CIO or anything.

When she does sleep in her crib at night, usually she's only good for 45 minutes. But that's long enough for us









Does that help?


----------



## Telle Bear (Jul 28, 2006)

We weaned my son around 18 months. He still sleeps with us and it was WAY easier than we both thought it would be. Basically I disappeared when it came time to sleep. For his naps I would time it so he would fall asleep in the car and then at night....my husband was in charge of putting him down. I wait tables so it was easy for me to work later. It took two night of him fussing, he would lay down with my husband and read (like we do every night). he would get up and go looking for me, but as soon as he saw I wasn't home, they started all over with books..etc...and on the third night he wasn't even asking for me









I was even a little hurt at how quickly he got over me.....


----------



## MsGrizzle (Jun 3, 2005)

Have you taken a look at the No Cry Sleep Solution book by Pantley? Maybe you can find some ideas there to gently change some things?

My 17 month old is a horrible sleeper so I feel for ya....my now 7 year old was a rotten sleeper too and he wasn't even nursed (I EP'd for him)...we had to stay with him until he fell asleep for several years.


----------



## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I used to think that I would LOVE DD to be able to go to sleep on her own.

But, I tell ya, laying down with her to get her to sleep at night has led to some of the sweetest, most beautiful moments ever with her.

Last night, we were snuggling in bed, and DD was wriggling, sitting up, moving around, saying "I want to lay on mummy" then "I want to lay on my pillow" and generally starting to frustrate me a little... and then she changed tactics and laid the loooove on me. "I love you soooo very very much, mummy. I love you mummy. I love your haircut mummy. You have nice boobies, mummy..." Ok, I KNOW she was procrastinating on going to sleep, but I wouldn't have traded that for all the quick goodnight-kisses-lights-off nights in the world.

Anyway, my point is, it typically takes a toddler about an hour to get to sleep, from jammies-on time. You can fight it, or you can accept that for an hour every evening, either you or your partner can spend beautiful quiet time, reading, singing and cuddling, and your little one can fall asleep secure and happy every night.

Yes, sometimes I want DD to fall asleep quickly. But usually, it's so I can clean the kitchen or watch TV. And in the grand scheme of things, snuggles are better than a clean kitchen and TV (except maybe Battlestar Galactica... oh no that's another thread).

So, ask yourself, WHY exactly do you want your little guy to fall asleep on his own? Is it because you have more important things to do? Because it's culturally accepted that it's a "Good Thing" for babies to go to sleep on their own? Because your partner is all "hey ditch the kid and come cuddle with me on the couch babe!"? I'm not saying that there might not be a very good reason for you to force the issue, but you might want to really take a good look at it to see if it's really necessary. One year is pretty young for putting one's self to sleep, I think


----------



## Bellejar (Oct 2, 2005)

What worked for us was my husband putting our girls down about this age. I would nurse then he would take them and rock and sing and put them down. I wanted sleep not to be associated with nursing.


----------



## TonyaW (Dec 5, 2006)

Ok, I am the OP. So I get that 1 yr is too soon for lo to fall asleep on his own. I love the cuddles and falling asleep time too, but what I don't love is once he is a asleep that I have to do it again and again, not always, but too often. My biggest concern is adding another child. I am considering pregnancy in another 6 months and will not be able to handle a waking toddler all night and and infant. I want to have the issue dealt with before then and I know there is a lot of time before now and then. I also know that I need sleep when I am pregnant and worriied about that too. Anywya I hope it works itself out and will think about it more and see what works for us over time.


----------



## nylecoj (Apr 24, 2007)

OP, what is your night time routine? Does he have enough activity to wear him out and then a period to calm down?

I also suggest the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Pantley. It's not an overnight solution but it might help.


----------



## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

I (or my husband) just lay down with my DD until she falls asleep (usually 10-20 minutes, occassionally longer or shorter). She doesn't nurse, but we snuggle, read books, etc.

And once she's asleep, I sneak away and leave her on the bed. She cosleeps at night with my DH (they're both active sleepers, and I get woken up too easily). If she wakes up and one of us is there, she usually goes right back to sleep. If we're not, she climbs down and finds us (small apt.) or calls us.


----------



## YinYang (Apr 3, 2006)

I just wanted to add that I did much like snoopy and had similar results. Also, like telle bear, I couldn't believe how quickly she got over the whole thing. I swear she (and I) sleep so much better now. No matter how much we want things to go a certain way, sometimes we have to just see things for what they are and adapt!
I also want to add that not every baby can have a peaceful last hour awake. I'm fine with any and all critiquing but there are some babies - like mine - that just will absolutely get unbelievably cranky in the evening NO MATTER WHAT you do. My daughter is now 21 months old and that is just the way it is with her.
Finally, she and I have so many beautiful moments in the 20-30 minutes each night that I spend actively helping her fall asleep so what you are doing does not mean that you will miss out on these sweet times.

Mama, good luck, I sympathize with you - it isn't always easy. We should start a support group (which likely already exists, I just haven't seen it!







)

ETA: I forgot to mention that even if my daughter falls fast asleep during our time together, she will almost always wake up whenever I leave - even if I've been sitting in a chair across the room. She usually just rolls over and goes right back to sleep. Occasionally she will muffle out a little something but she's done - I think she just fights sleep so much. I just wanted to add this in case you experience the same.


----------



## maryeb (Aug 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TonyaW* 
, but what I don't love is once he is a asleep that I have to do it again and again, not always, but too often. My biggest concern is adding another child. I am considering pregnancy in another 6 months and will not be able to handle a waking toddler all night and and infant.

Ds did the same thing until somewhere between 15-18 mo. He always woke up one hour later. It was like his first sleep cycle ended and he just woke up. I understand how frustrating it can be to not totally get a break. One night it stopped all on it's own. I responded to him each time, and it just finally stopped. Now he sleeps until some time after we get into bed. We get a good long stretch. Things change. Mary


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TonyaW* 
Ok, I am the OP. So I get that 1 yr is too soon for lo to fall asleep on his own. I love the cuddles and falling asleep time too, but what I don't love is once he is a asleep that I have to do it again and again, not always, but too often. My biggest concern is adding another child. I am considering pregnancy in another 6 months and will not be able to handle a waking toddler all night and and infant. I want to have the issue dealt with before then and I know there is a lot of time before now and then. I also know that I need sleep when I am pregnant and worriied about that too. Anywya I hope it works itself out and will think about it more and see what works for us over time.

As for adding another baby- I think there are lots of good reasons that the historical biological norm seems to be at least 3-4 years between children. This is one of them. You're right- there is only so much mom to go around.

good luck!

-Angela


----------



## Erinz (Mar 1, 2006)

I agree with "if it isn't broken don't fix it!" except you said it isn't working for you anymore, which means it sounds as if it might be broken.

Have you ever considered a twin mattress next to yours? We bought our son his own twin, pushed it up against the wall and pushed ours next to it. I "boob" him down for naps in it and he sleeps all night in there as well. Many times I hear him stir because I am RIGHT there so I can slip a hand over and whisper something sweet and reassuring and he goes right back out. I've learned to try that FIRST to see if he will settle back down. I USED to immediately thrust my breast in his mouth which he would readily accept









We have never owned a crib, but I have to say at a certain age they might just not work for older babes. It IS a very confined, small space for a growing child. Kind of jail-ish IMO. What about even putting a twin in you LO's room in place of the crib. A nice comfy, thick bed? Might be replicating your bed more? And you can slowly move it away from your bed over time?

Just throwing ideas out there!


----------



## LittleBirdie (Oct 22, 2005)

There is nothing like a sleep post to get everyone going! What can I say?

First, I feel your frustration and your sleep deprivation! When something isn't working for you and your lo, you know and get to be the judge of that. Second, I just wanted to let you know that is very likely that things will change. Today, as my 21 mo lo was going to sleep (quietly, quickly and in his own crib), I was thinking about how hard things were just a year ago. I think I would cry as much as he would in those days!

What worked for us: I took one thing at a time -- earlier bedtime and clear routine, moving to his own room from ours, nightweaning, sleeping through the night. Naps were last because he has always been a short napper. Eventually we did get so that he was taking 2 45 min naps a day, but when he dropped a nap, we changed his routine. We read and used Pantley to get through each of the steps. But, what I really think made a difference is that he got older -- his teeth came in and he hit some new developmental stages. I also think it is important that you take what you can, as many of the other posters have noted. Remember what I mentioned about naps? I decided not to fight that one. We nap together nursing everyday. It's not perfect, but he sleeps through the night and at least I get that sleep and I'm glad to have that time with my little boy who is growing up so fast.

Good luck and good sleep to you. I hope it works out well for you and your little one!


----------



## jennifercp8 (Nov 10, 2005)

Currently, DS is sleeping on a toddler mattress on the floor next to my side. He used to wake 2-3 times a night, but now sleeps through the night. Every now and then he wakes around 4:30 - but the bed is low enough to the ground that he can crawl into the bed himself and snuggle up to us. In the past 2 weeks, he has started getting so comfy and in love with his new bed that he goes to it on his own. He has even started putting himself to sleep - a feat I never thought would happen until he was 18 and going to college.









Anyway - we never had luck getting him to sleep away from us. Maybe your LO just wants to be closer to you. Good luck, and I hope you find something that works for you.


----------



## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I agree that the most peaceful solution might be to get a small mattress on the floor in your room and lay next to him until he's asleep.

If it's any consolation, they do eventually learn to fall asleep by themselves and sleep in their own beds/rooms. My dd is 7 now and does it just fine.







I never thought I'd see the day and she was a horrible family bed baby (kicking all night, woke up the minute you tried to sneak out). Now I welcome her coming in to snuggle first thing in the AM. Just hang in there!


----------



## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

At 20 months old we have "night weaned", though I don't really consider it night weaning since she really didn't care, which was my cue that she was ready. I had tried many times before, and many times before she cried and CRIED because she _needed_ to nurse. I have chronic pain issues and struggled with nursing at night since she was born. It has NOT been easy, but the fact that this time it was, means that this was the right time to cut back.

My advice - don't force it if it isn't easy. That's your cue that Babe isn't ready.


----------



## alicia622 (May 8, 2005)

I don't have any ideas for you except to keep trying. I don't think you will get the results you want without a lot of crying. That's the reason ds still needs us to help him fall asleep (he's 27 months). Recently he has started falling asleep lying next to me rather than on top of me. I think we are getting there.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Forgive my







: if it was unjustified. I did read the entire thread through, and what I thought I was reading was that if your baby does ANY crying or if you sleep train at all than you are not AP.

When you read stuff on nightime and attatchment parenting it often sounds like you should be able to meet any need if you're paying enough attention. And if you have a LO who CANNOT be soothed, you have failed. (talking about books; not people's posts here.)

Many appologies to the OP for


----------



## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
Forgive my







: if it was unjustified. I did read the entire thread through, and what I thought I was reading was that if your baby does ANY crying or if you sleep train at all than you are not AP.

I guess I would add "If your child does any crying and you don't do everything you can to help/sooth" - and then I would tell you that you've summed it up pretty well.

AP is about responding to your child's needs.

If your child isn't sleeping well - then they obviously have some need which isn't being met. There is NOTHING AP about putting them in their crib and doing CIO. That's ignoring their needs. I cannot possibly fathom how sleep training could perceived as AP.

Sometimes babies/toddlers/children/adults cry. But if they do it about the same things everytime - then something's wrong. So if your child cries in your arms for 2 hours every night before bed - then something isn't right. Sleep training isn't going to solve that problem. And it isn't going to meet your child's needs.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I think that's what I just said.


----------



## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

I will just respond to the original poster. My DD has always gone to sleep pretty easily, some nights not as easily as others, but for a long time she would lay down in her crib, roll around a few times, smile and go to sleep. It was awesome. Now, at almost 3, I sit in the rocking chair in her room and tell her stories in the dark for a while before she dozes off. I find what she needs changes every few months.

I would start quiet time before bed time, go into his bedroom 30 minutes in advance of when you would like to be able to lay him down to sleep. Jammies, clean diaper, put the lights down low, read a book. I don't see why you couldn't nurse, if you want to--if it puts him to sleep great, if not, snuggle a while and read softly to him in the soft light. The goal is to relax him and get him drowsy enough that when you put him in the crib or bed, sleep is the next step. Get him used to falling asleep peacefully in the crib, and not struggling with you. It might take a lot of rocking at first!

I think, if you rock him, hold him, and read to him until he's ready to go to sleep you'll get better at "catching the moment" when you can put him into his crib and he won't protest, because he is ready for sleep and the mattress is soft and comfy.

Also, if you are planning on using a crib (I can't remember from your post) I spent some time every day with my DD in her crib while I folded laundry or tidied her room. She would be awake, I'd give her toys in the crib, talk to her the whole time. But I wanted the crib to be a good, fun part of her day, and make her feel comfortable and cozy there.


----------



## sandy'smama (Oct 16, 2005)

I have 2 kids and they both need me to fall asleep. My DH goes offshore quite a lot these days and it is all down to me so here are a few tips.

this is what I try to have in mind for my 13 mo
Make sure she's been out in the fresh air, had a chance to be physically active, if possible do not let her fall asleep after 3pm.
make sure she ate well, especially her evening meal.
after dinner we put lights down, play quietly, tidy toys ect
have bath most days whether she needs it or not
look at a short book nurse to sleep (about 20 min.) put her down, usually she does not wake, if she does I nurse some more or walk around the room with her in arms for 10-15 min and put her down asleep.
I then get the older one in jammies (they bath together) and get his milk and bed ready (DS is weaned now but bottle nursed "on demand" - day and night if he asks for it)
DD wakes up for a top up nursing about half hour after I put her down and after that stays down for a few hours.
I then put DS to bed: milk, 3 books, lights out. They are usually both asleep by 8.30pm
I remember doing the same with DS. He did sleep in toddler bed at 13 or 14 months as he could climb out of the cot, so instead of walking with him I could lie down in his bed until he fell asleep. I still lie down with him even though I know he CAN fall asleep on his own - I just like it.

I think the key is just to make sure that your DC is READY for sleep at bed time, had a busy, stimulating day and a quiet hour or so to wind down. Good luck.


----------



## Bellejar (Oct 2, 2005)

Wow people have some strong opinions in here!


----------



## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
I used to think that I would LOVE DD to be able to go to sleep on her own.

But, I tell ya, laying down with her to get her to sleep at night has led to some of the sweetest, most beautiful moments ever with her.

Last night, we were snuggling in bed, and DD was wriggling, sitting up, moving around, saying "I want to lay on mummy" then "I want to lay on my pillow" and generally starting to frustrate me a little... and then she changed tactics and laid the loooove on me. "I love you soooo very very much, mummy. I love you mummy. I love your haircut mummy. You have nice boobies, mummy..." Ok, I KNOW she was procrastinating on going to sleep, but I wouldn't have traded that for all the quick goodnight-kisses-lights-off nights in the world.

Anyway, my point is, it typically takes a toddler about an hour to get to sleep, from jammies-on time. You can fight it, or you can accept that for an hour every evening, either you or your partner can spend beautiful quiet time, reading, singing and cuddling, and your little one can fall asleep secure and happy every night.

Yes, sometimes I want DD to fall asleep quickly. But usually, it's so I can clean the kitchen or watch TV. And in the grand scheme of things, snuggles are better than a clean kitchen and TV (except maybe Battlestar Galactica... oh no that's another thread).

So, ask yourself, WHY exactly do you want your little guy to fall asleep on his own? Is it because you have more important things to do? Because it's culturally accepted that it's a "Good Thing" for babies to go to sleep on their own? Because your partner is all "hey ditch the kid and come cuddle with me on the couch babe!"? I'm not saying that there might not be a very good reason for you to force the issue, but you might want to really take a good look at it to see if it's really necessary. One year is pretty young for putting one's self to sleep, I think

Awww, posts like these are awesome reminders of why I love being a mom so much. Despite all the things that may be frustrating, precious moments like that are totally worth everything.


----------

