# for those of you who have given birth in a hospital...



## star2589 (Nov 3, 2006)

I've been reading birth stories, and have heard a lot of horror stories about hospital births and wanted to know how common these things really are.


----------



## woodchick (Jan 5, 2007)

I had a wonderful hospital birth.

That being said, my husband and I had to repeat ourselves in order to get what we wanted. Even with a birthplan.

"No. I will not be receiving any pain medication"
"No. I do not want a c-section"
"No, no, no."

None of the hospital personell was overly rude, I think they were suggesting things that, in their experience, the 'average' woman wants. I don't begrudge them doing their job. I'm glad that I was aware and strong enough to advocate for myself.


----------



## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

I think some of it is the hospital. The hospital I birthed in was very baby friendly. Rooming in, low c-section rate (they don't do high risk birth), very breastfeeding friendly.


----------



## ckhagen (Sep 6, 2004)

I think something perhaps that maybe you left off the poll is "I was told a situation was emergent and a certain course of action was necessary, but none of that was true".

That would be my situation. I consented to most of what happened to me, but only because I was told I had no choice because my baby would die or because labor was "not progressing" (far from the truth).

My DS was administered a Hep B vaccination after I vehemently told them not to. He was also bathed for the first time outside of my presence without my consent, before I even saw him for the first time. I also believe he was given glucose water in the nursery.

All of those things are only a small amount of the victimization I experienced though. The general care I recieved was miserable.


----------



## kate3 (May 4, 2007)

I had 3 hospital births. All 3 were inductions (I have chronic hypertention and a previous fetal demise). So I don't exactly fit in the "no to low intervention" category.

But with that said, I couldn't have been happier with the way things turned out. I breastfed very shortly after delivery, I never had an epis, I roomed in, hubby slept over. I delievered at a large city hospital where there was a consent for everything. There were no circs or vaccines without written consent. All staff had very visable picture IDs on, everyone introduced themselves, and respected my wishes to just hang out with the baby. Breastfed babies were strongly enouraged to room in and were never given formula unless that was the decision made by the parents. When my first baby was cold after delivery he wasn't kept in the nursery away from me. Warming lights were brought to my room and he heated up right next to me. Weights were done daily on the newborns, and a scale was wheeled into my room and done in my presence. They baby was never "taken away" for anything except PKU at discharge (which I had no problem with as I firmly believe in newborn screening).

I have also read a lot of threads about "evil hospitals", but I never experienced any of the problems anyone posted about. My caregivers were intelligent and respectful, and always accomodated my requests. I think experiences will vary according to hospital and more rural areas may not be as flexible or have staff that are as educated.

I wish you all the best with your pregnancy.


----------



## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

It depends on the hospital! Not a very helpful answer I know, but very true.

I had two wonderful hospital births (with 2 different care providers) at my small local hospital...

They meet all the mama/baby-friendly guidelines, they have one of the best VBAC rates and lowest primary c/s rates in the region (even ICAN likes them







), they don't allow formula sample/diaper bag thingies at all (they make their own mama bags with LLL info, a baby board book, a little onsie, handouts on pp care and their support line, etc), the labor/delivery nurses are amazing and many of them are certified LC so there's always someone there to help with any nursing problems or questions (many have had natural births themselves and are very supportive in a BTDT way), and doulas, midwives, family practice doctors, and OBs all mingle together pretty happily.

You can labor anywhere and any way you want, they have tubs and showers for all (even mamas with ruptured membranes), they do intermittent monitoring and will use a fetoscope instead if you ask (even for vbac mamas), you're encouraged to use whatever position/vocalization/tools work for you. They even have a special "hypnobirthing" room (I used hypnobabies for my vbac)! And this is in a teeny tiny 4 birth suite sized labor and delivery ward. Mamas can eat (they even provide food if you forget to bring any) and drink whatever they want (I had Thai food delivered in my first birth) and they even provide support for the partners (which DH really appreciated). No required IVs, no suggestions of medication, and lots of positive support.

Sadly, despite everything, I did have my primary c/s there (though by the time I got to the hospital I think here wasn't much anyone could do...but despite that they let me keep trying for another 19 hours without meds, and when I did get the meds and then the c/s eveyone was VERY respectful and kind and I didn't get any negative comments about natural birth or about "healthy baby is all that matters"...one of the nurses who had had a vbac even came in to talk with me about c/s recovery and healing). But even with c/s mamas they make sure you're breastfeeding in the recovery room, and they don't even have a nursery! All the babes room-in and if you need a break the nurse takes the babe and sits with them one-on-one while you shower or nap. And with c/s mamas they realize you need extra help and a nurse was always there to help me care for dd if my DH was asleep and I needed help carrying her to the rocking chair or changing her diaper. AND they let me nap with dd on my chest instead of telling me to put her in the "baby-box" baby bed next to the bed.

My vbac birth was amazing with tons of support and after the birth I swear half the hospital dropped by to congratulate me...many remembered me from my last birth and were so thrilled that I'd had the natural vaginal birth I'd worked for. And as a small town hospital, well, there's a real small town feel.









BUT...this is NOT a normal US hospital! And most mamas are not going to have had such positive birth experiences in hospital settings.


----------



## awallrising (Mar 24, 2007)

Like wombatclay, I had a hospital birth at a small, local & relatively progressive hospital (although I just found out that they don't do VBACs







). I had a pretty positive experience considering that I had an emergency C-section & most of my birth plan couldn't be realized. I know that if things were different, my birth plan would have been respected 100%. I declined many treatments & just had to sign a release form. Luckily, my MW practice includes a Dr who performed the C-section has a very low C-section rate and I trusted them 100% with my care. When my MW said I needed a C-section, I know I needed it. I think we both would have died without it, baby certainly wouldn't have made it. I am extremely glad that I was in a hospital to deal with my dangerous & unforeseeable situation.

I just found out that people come to Hackettstown Hospital (NWest NJ) from NYC, Connecticut & elsewhere to take advantage of the excellent care. In fact, my MWs have played a major role in evolution of the maternity department & were responsible for getting the birthing tub rooms set up. It's scary to think of being subjected to the scenarios in the poll and or having to be on the defensive during such a vulnerable & important time. If I wasn't at such a great hospital, DH & I would have fought to have things to way we wanted them.


----------



## blissful_maia (Feb 17, 2005)

I gave birth in the hospital with my first dd, and nothing like this happened, but dp and I needed to be STAUNCH advocates for ourselves.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I didn't have any problems like that. The worst I had was bad breastfeeding advice, and a nurse who kept wanting me to lie on my back. (OUCH) I said no and she eventually gave up, but only because I had the most awesome CNM on the planet who told her to leave me alone.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

I voted that none of that happened to me BUT I went along with everything they said, so I don't know how it would have been if I had refused to obey.


----------



## GinaRae (Mar 27, 2007)

In my last hospital birth, there are some other variables that happened or that made it so I couldn't click the option. Like they didn't call CPS or tell us they would, but their authority was implied in that arena. They lied and everything they said wouldn't happen, they did anyway, like taking my perfectly healthy baby to the nursery and not letting me have him for hours. Other things happened with the doc, staff, and room as well.

My other two hospital births were fairly good, except for an abusive doctor during my c/s for my first son, and a few other things I could quibble about. But nothing stays in my mind as badly as my last birth at a bigger hospital.


----------



## mom2lotsofkids (Jul 10, 2007)

I've given birth in a hospital 6 times so far and everything's been fine - no episiotomies, c/s, nothing like that, although I have had rude nurses. Even so, #7 will be born @ home & I only wish I'd started on this journey sooner! As OK as the hospital was, I hated nurses checking on me & asking when the baby nursed & when I changed them - I mean really! So I always just told them what they wanted to hear.

With baby #5, a nurse with 1 kid who said she bottle fed, demanded that I take my boob out & SHOW her I knew how to nurse the baby!!!!!! I said he's nursing fine & I've nursed 4 previously. She said I have to see it. I was so in shock I did what she said & I'm still angry about that! So it's stuff like that, that bothers me about the hospital.


----------



## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

I checked all of the first four. Don't have time to go into my lengthy ordeal. I do recommend looking at the forum's stickies that discuss how to have a better hospital experience







Best wishes!!!


----------



## Ygle (Mar 2, 2007)

I think it's important to add that it is possible things happened without your consent that you aren't aware of... I've found out about many things that were done to my children and myself from medical records. If I had answered this poll six or so years ago after having had two hospital births I would've answered "I've given birth in a hospital, but none of these things have happened" and I would've been wrong (and I took all the courses at the hospital and filled out all the paperwork beforehand, so I thought I knew everything that was going on).


----------



## jaimelees (Jul 11, 2007)

I had a great hospital birth experience but I also am lucky to have a natural childbirth friendly hospital in my area. They have nice birthing rooms with tubs and anything else you could imagine. The nurses were all natural birth friendly so there was no threat of intervention unless it was medically necessary. Plus they all followed my birth plan exactly.

I think that hospital births can be good experiences if you have a solid birth plan, you are educated on your options, you have a great birth team ( including a Doula) and are not afraid to take control. I have heard horror stories but in our area there are hospitals that are better than others. Research is key as well as "shopping" around before you decide where to have your birth.


----------



## AlexisT (May 6, 2007)

I had a crappy hospital birth but not for any of the reasons mentioned. It was an emergency CS and the decision to operate was ultimately made by a consuitant (attending) OB who never examined me personally (the SHO [resident] on duty called the consultant, came back, said "you need a CS"). They weren't very good at explaining things to me. The aftercare was nonexistent.

My hospital had a baby-friendly certificate, and the UK isn't as big on taking the baby away after birth, so that was all right. But she ended up in NICU with severe jaundice and they were not as supportive of BFing as they should have been (insisted she have her supplements via bottle, would not permit her to be taken out from under the lights to BF).


----------



## koru (Sep 7, 2006)

my first 2 births were in the hospital but in a special "birthing center" room so it was expected that i'd have a natural, intervention free birth.


----------



## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

DS was born in a hospital and after his birth I was given a shot of Pitocin in the leg. No hemorrhaging or anything, the CNM did not say what it was or explain anything, just jabbed it in my thigh (I didn't have an IV) and later said what it was, that it was standard procedure.


----------



## Mrs.Floyd (Jan 15, 2007)

I'm only preggo with my first, so I didn't vote, but I've been present for 2 dear friends' birth experiences, and I can tell you that they were not treated well. True, they didn't realize that they actually had options (and neither did I at the time or I would have advocated for them), but they were also not well informed by their nurses and ob's on what was going on and if they had another option and what the intervention was supposed to actually 'do' and the risks. They were both given Pitocin almost immediately upon entering the hospital, when it was obviously too early to tell if they would 'need' it. Neither knew that they could have refused the IV or labored anywhere but in bed. Both were consequently miserable. One had an episiotomy without any warning other than 'Stop pushing for a minute!' followed by the dr. cutting her w/o asking or indicating that the baby was in distress (and he wasn't). One specifically asked to *not* have an episiotomy, said she would rather tear (had an episiotomy with the first and then learned that it was unnecessary), and the dr's reply was that it was easier to sew up a nice straight line. When it came time he just went ahead and did it without even telling her. She asked after the baby was out if she tore, and he said 'nope, you've got a nice clean cut, now lay still so I can stitch it up.'







: I won't even go into all the other crap that they and their babies endured that they had no clue they could refuse w/o DSS taking their kids away right then.


----------



## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I had a wonderful experience with both hospital births. The only thing that came close to one of your choices was when I was pushing my first out. Her heartbeat was in the 40's for several minutes and everyone was getting worried. The doctor decided to cut me and try to get her out fast and he apologized at the same time that he was cutting me. I never told him not to cut (was young and didn't know what to expect) and she was born just fine with no problems minutes later. I was kinda upset about that but at the same time I agree with trying to get her out fast under those circumstances.

My next birth I had an epidural my choice, but other than that I had some out of the ordinary requests and all were honored. I felt very much in control.


----------



## intorainbowz (Aug 16, 2006)

I marked I was told I couldn't see my child unless I consented to some intervention being done on him/her because I was told if I continued to video tape my visits with DD that I would not be allowed to see her. We were videoing her baths and each other holding her, that's all. Not a surveilance camera by any means. She was in the NICU for 6.5 weeks.


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

My first birth I was given an episiotomy without *my* consent, although the doctor asked my mom. I was 17 at the time. My baby was given Hep B despite my request for him not receive it.
My second birth I was given a shot of pitocin for no reason other than it was SOP.
I've since had two homebirths and will never again birth in a hospital.


----------



## ndakkitten (Jul 1, 2006)

I am actually one of the people who answered "husband/partner/labor assistant" not allowed at the birth...

I answered this because of what happened during my c/s. Once we (my midwife, the backup OB, my doula and I) realized during my second birth that a c/s was unavoidable (the baby physically could not descend because of the cord around his neck), they started prepping me. Then they wheeled me off to the OR (which they did have one on the same floor as L&D) to finish the prep. The OB had told my DH he could be there, but when he tried to come in, the OR nurse refused to let him in (the OB didn't know this btw). So he goes around to the other door (which is connected to the nursery) and has one of the nurses get him all gowned up anyways, figuring he can talk to someone else.

And of course, my doula (who worked at the hospital as a LPN) knew it was either him or me, so she'd all ready gone off to grab a bite to eat. She apologized later, saying if she'd known that nurse was running the OR, she would have made sure that DH had gotten in.

Meanwhile, there I am lying on the table, wondering where the heck my DH is. Fortunately, the anesthesiologist comes up to me and asks if there is anything I need. I said "Yes, my husband!!" He sees my DH standing in the doorway watching through the window and goes over and brings him in. Of course, the nurse couldn't object, the anesthesiologist outranked him. By this time, they'd all ready started. I swear, DH had just gotten situated on the chair when they asked him "Do you want to stay with your wife or go with your baby?" When he answered "I'll go with the baby" they said "Well ya better get going then, cause there he goes."

So that made for a very horrible experience. Thankfully we moved and I never had to deal with that hospital again.


----------



## ani'smommy (Nov 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ckhagen* 
I think something perhaps that maybe you left off the poll is "I was told a situation was emergent and a certain course of action was necessary, but none of that was true".









: This happened to me as well.

There was also a student in the room who decided that he was going to break my water. Thankfully, somehow, I was able to get him to go away, but it really upset me.


----------



## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

I birthed at the same hospital wombatclay did twice. Two natural births. Very pleased. The nursing staff is great adn very supportive, my midwives were wonderful.

I don't know what the natural v medicated v section birth rates are there, but they're high enough that the nurses see people laboring and delivering naturally every day. The hospital requests a birth plan and has a simple one with checkboxes to fill out. No one ever mentioned drugs to me. They have a wonderful hot tub to labor in and birth in if you wish, do all newborn procedures bedside (I did not refuse any, but I've heard they're okay with that) *after* baby has nursed. I got great nursing advice (most of the nurses are LCs).

My births were both uncomplicated, but I seem to follow an atypical labor pattern (cx never settle down into the typical pattern, and i seem not to be progressing until I get settled and comfortable and then I go very quickly from that to birth). No one whipped out the pitocin, no one freaked when there was meconium at birth #1, no one cut anything. Someone mentioned breaking my waters with #1, I said "No, no thank you," and the response was "Okay, that's cool too."

They do have a nursery now - they got certified as a Level II nursery so they don't have to airlift 32-weekers to the nearest big hospital. It was empty every time I saw it, other than babies being given their hearing tests.


----------



## coobabysmom (Nov 16, 2005)

I gave birth in a hosiptal birthing center where unmedicated births with mws are the norm. My mw did ask to do an AROM and did ask to do directed pushing (explicitly written NOT to do in birthplan) because that's what she thought I needed and I consented. I have a little regret about this but I was asked and I consented.


----------



## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Quote:

They do have a nursery now - they got certified as a Level II nursery so they don't have to airlift 32-weekers to the nearest big hospital. It was empty every time I saw it, other than babies being given their hearing tests.
Very true...I was typing fast and meant to say they don't have a well baby nursery.







It's great that they got their level II certification since otherwise mamas/families would have to drive almost an hour (or more) to reach a NICU. (and it meant there was a perinatologist there to check dd after her shoulder dystocia...and they even did those checks in my room since they brought the equipment to us!)


----------



## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

I've given birth in a hospital, but none of these things have happened.


----------



## artemis80 (Sep 8, 2006)

I voted "none of these things happened," but my birth didn't go the way I wanted it to. The interventions (ROM, constant fetal monitoring, forceps) were not things I specifically denied at the time, but of course I would have been happier without them. The atmosphere was very tense and the interventions were presented as necessary, so I didn't refuse (but neither was I really asked). I still don't know if they were necessary, but I do wonder if the situation that led to them (failure to descend, then asyncliticism) would have occurred had I been in a more relaxed environment.

FWIW, I delivered with a CNM who let me push for over 3 hours, although I suspect the "situation" may have occurred in part because I started pushing too soon. Any OB would have gone to a c-section ages before 3.5 hours, I'm sure.


----------



## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

I voted _I've given birth in a hospital, but none of these things have happened_... but just because those things didn't happen doesn't mean it was a "good" experience. My birth plan was largely ignored, they had a reason why I couldn't do or have most of the things I requested.









I was led to believe that my induction 2 weeks before my due date was necessary, I was assigned a nurse that pushed drugs on me and told my mom in my hearing I had hours to go (she was wrong, I was in transition and VERY vulnerable), I was led to believe that an episiotomy was necessary to get my baby out right then (the OB "asked" me as she was telling me it was necessary).

It took me months to heal from the (unnecessary IMO) episiotomy and the pelvic floor pain from pushing in a prone position. I found my next two births, waterbirths at home, to be very healing.


----------



## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

_my huspand/partner/labor support person were not allowed to be present with me during the birth_

This was true for both births, both cesareans.


----------



## Twocoolboys (Mar 10, 2006)

None of those things happened to me.

I had two wonderful hospital birth experiences. As a matter of fact, during labor with my first son, I got to a point when I was sure I wanted an epidural. I had told the nurse upon arrival that I did not want one under any circumstances. When I told her I did, she was so kind and asked me several times "are you sure?" When I told her that yes, I was, she said ok, but first I would need a full bag of IV fluids, so she hooked me up to that. By the time the bag was empty, it was time to push and I did not end up getting an epidural. I am SO thankful that she helped me stick to my plan. I know she would have let me have it had it not been time to push yet and I was still insisting, but I'm glad that she gave me the IV fluids first.

My second labor was easier in the sense that I knew I had already done it without meds so I knew I had the strength to do it again.


----------



## IfMamaAintHappy (Apr 15, 2002)

my first dd was born in a hospital in rural tennessee. my birth plan was followed and I ahd no interventions. I birthed vaginally with no meds.

However... I live in NC now, and know from my friends experiences at the hospital closest to my house that many interventions happen to them, and that once you walk through the doors you are under their control and lose a lot of your own ability to choose. THe other two local hospitals are better about things, the furthest away from me being the best for being respected and listened to.


----------



## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

See birth story in siggie


----------



## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I've had two hospital births, and been in several more times with preterm labor. I didn't have any unwanted interventions during my births, but I had several when in there for preterm labor. With my first, a nurse attempted to inject terbutaline while I was sleeping, even though terbutaline was contraindicted for me because of my heart condition. That was scary, and luckily I woke up in time. And with the twins, DS had a really scary decel on the monitor, and a nurse rushed in and inserted an IV with fluids and shoved me on my side without explaining what was happening. To be fair, however, she thought DS was deprived of oxygen and was doing what she thought was truly necessary.

DS was given a bottle of formula only a half hour after his birth, without my or DH's permission, because some jackass thought he had low blood sugar, even though his heel stick came back normal. He was under observation in special care for three hours after his birth because he was having trouble breathing on his own. I will admit that the breathing help saved his life, but even the peds said afterwards that he did NOT need the stupid bottle, and we dealt with three weeks of nipple confusion and now he is allergic to dairy because of being sensitized so early. DH was there, and knew to refuse, but he was busy with DD2 at the time, who was also under observation because of her low birth weight, but only for about a half hour.

Oh, and once with DD1 a nurse came and removed DD from my breast and wheeled her out of the room while I was sleeping, so that I woke up in a panic not knowing what happened to her. The nurse was trying to be helpful, and thought I'd appreciate having someone take DD so I could rest. I was furious.


----------



## redhen (Mar 30, 2005)

The only one I checked was that a medical prodecure was done on my child without my consent- they clamped her cord immediately in spite of my birth plan, but I feel like it was more of a force of habit thing, not them deliberately going against my wishes.


----------



## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

I couldn't technically check any of these, but...

1. When I first arrived at the hospital, the doctor who "checked" me, started to sweep my membranes, until I yelled "NO WAY". While she was checking she said, while starting, "I am just going to sweep your membranes..."

3. I was threatened if I didn't have pitocin...









2. I was eventually told if I didn't have an epidural, I would be forced to have c-section.

Oh so many other fun things happended. :eyeroll

Anyway...


----------



## shooflymama (May 23, 2005)

I picked "none." I gave birth in a hospital with a birth center midwife after I couldn't labor at the birth center (both risk and space issues that night). No meds, no interventions.


----------



## RoadBuddy (May 19, 2005)

I had a good hospital birth. A lot of it was due to having a doctor who signed off on and actually supported my birth plan, having a doula to help explain things, and choosing a hospital that was more open-minded. Of course, getting there fully dilated and having my son an hour later probably helped







Needless to say, it was an unmedicated labor. I had to request no pitocin for delivering the placenta - they were setting it up as a matter of routine, but were fine with refusal.

DS never left our room (even for the hearing test and the pediatrician visit). Breastfeeding, eye ointment and shots (none), and no circ were not even issues. THe one thing they were pushy about was the bath. Of all things, a bath! And DS was having temperature problems, so a bath was the last thing he needed.


----------



## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

I transferred to the hospital during my labor with ds but it was a very pleasant experience. Nothing was done without my consent, the doctors and nurses were very respectful, and I never felt like I had to fight or struggle to get what I wanted. I had full interventions once I arrived but they unhooked anything they could as soon as they could without my having to ask and I never felt violated or disrespected.


----------



## Beppie (Oct 24, 2005)

We had a very positive hospital experience, but I think a lot of that was due to the fact that we had a wonderful nurse-midwife who was our provider.


----------



## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

I voted, "None of these things have happened." _But_ I transferred to the hospital after attempting a homebirth (FTP), so they didn't have much of a chance to start their "cascade of interventions", and I knew what would need to happen if I transferred.









The hospital where I had DS by c/s was very VBAC and homebirth-friendly and practices evidence-based medicine for the most part.


----------



## GodChick (Jul 5, 2005)

had hospital births, but none of those happened to me. How infuriating that they would happen to anyone!


----------



## mamaveggie (Mar 24, 2007)

The oncall dr (who wasn't my normal dr) kept pushing for interventions that I declined. I was sent directly from an ob appointment to the hospital because of "irregular" heart rates, which ended up looking normal at the hospital. The dr started the pit and wanted to break my water immediately, but I refused. I had to be monitored and they kept coming in and getting annoyed with me because the moving around was disturbing the reading on the monitors. After they cranked up the pit one more time, I agreed to them breaking my water and requested an epidural. After I am stuck in bed, they want to screw the monitor into the dd's head. I told them no, I am no longer able to move, the readings that you are getting now are fine. I was pissed that I felt like I had to fight for every inch, but they didn't do anything w/o my consent.


----------



## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

I've had four hospital births and none of those things happened to me. I had / have a really good relationship with my doctor though and I think that makes all the difference. If he tries to offer me an intervention I don't want I say "no freakin' way" and he rolls his eyes at me and that's that


----------



## anne1006 (Jul 1, 2007)

I didn't really have anything done without consent......but I did really feel pressured and felt like I had no power. I trusted the doc and felt betrayed because I shouldn't have trusted her. I was pushing on my back, had an episiotomy that ripped to a 4th degree tear, and almost had a c-section. I had internal monitors, was pressured into induction by "big baby" scare, etc......
I thought I was very educated and empowered, but I got scared and placed my trust in someone who I thought was a supporter of natural birth, but wasn't. This time I won't make that mistake, but now I doubt myself and am more scared than ever! grrrrrr!~!


----------



## sofiabugmom (Sep 23, 2003)

Even though I ended up with a C-section after premature rupture of membranes, a week long stay in the hospital, and nearly every intervention, I was involved in each decision and consented it was performed.

I asked every staff member to introduce him- or herself in the delivery room ("Hi, I'm ***, the one with my legs in the stirrups about to give birth -- what's your name and why are you here?"), asked about every strange beep and whistle on the machines that go "ping", and gave the okay to get the baby out when things didn't look good. DH was there the whole time (except when they were getting him ready to sit next to me for surgery). My midwife was there with us too, and said she was proud of me for sticking up for myself.









The only thing I wasn't happy about is that on one occasion, the NICU docs added formula to her breastmilk tube feeding once without asking me, even after she she had tummy troubles with HMF in the milk and we told them to stop that. A quick dressing down of the physician assistant ended that practice immediately. But I didn't consider this a medical intervention, so I put down "none of these things happened" in my poll decision.


----------



## laralee16 (Nov 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombatclay* 
It depends on the hospital! Not a very helpful answer I know, but very true.

I had two wonderful hospital births (with 2 different care providers) at my small local hospital...

They meet all the mama/baby-friendly guidelines, they have one of the best VBAC rates and lowest primary c/s rates in the region (even ICAN likes them







), they don't allow formula sample/diaper bag thingies at all (they make their own mama bags with LLL info, a baby board book, a little onsie, handouts on pp care and their support line, etc), the labor/delivery nurses are amazing and many of them are certified LC so there's always someone there to help with any nursing problems or questions (many have had natural births themselves and are very supportive in a BTDT way), and doulas, midwives, family practice doctors, and OBs all mingle together pretty happily.

You can labor anywhere and any way you want, they have tubs and showers for all (even mamas with ruptured membranes), they do intermittent monitoring and will use a fetoscope instead if you ask (even for vbac mamas), you're encouraged to use whatever position/vocalization/tools work for you. They even have a special "hypnobirthing" room (I used hypnobabies for my vbac)! And this is in a teeny tiny 4 birth suite sized labor and delivery ward. Mamas can eat (they even provide food if you forget to bring any) and drink whatever they want (I had Thai food delivered in my first birth) and they even provide support for the partners (which DH really appreciated). No required IVs, no suggestions of medication, and lots of positive support.

Sadly, despite everything, I did have my primary c/s there (though by the time I got to the hospital I think here wasn't much anyone could do...but despite that they let me keep trying for another 19 hours without meds, and when I did get the meds and then the c/s eveyone was VERY respectful and kind and I didn't get any negative comments about natural birth or about "healthy baby is all that matters"...one of the nurses who had had a vbac even came in to talk with me about c/s recovery and healing). But even with c/s mamas they make sure you're breastfeeding in the recovery room, and they don't even have a nursery! All the babes room-in and if you need a break the nurse takes the babe and sits with them one-on-one while you shower or nap. And with c/s mamas they realize you need extra help and a nurse was always there to help me care for dd if my DH was asleep and I needed help carrying her to the rocking chair or changing her diaper. AND they let me nap with dd on my chest instead of telling me to put her in the "baby-box" baby bed next to the bed.

My vbac birth was amazing with tons of support and after the birth I swear half the hospital dropped by to congratulate me...many remembered me from my last birth and were so thrilled that I'd had the natural vaginal birth I'd worked for. And as a small town hospital, well, there's a real small town feel.









BUT...this is NOT a normal US hospital! And most mamas are not going to have had such positive birth experiences in hospital settings.

DROOL! Where is this, if you dont mind saying? All the hospitals where I live that I have looked in to do not seem to eb very vbac friendly


----------



## laralee16 (Nov 12, 2005)

I was told alot that my baby would "die" if they did not do something. I was belittled from the time I took a step in to the hospital till i left. One nurse kept on telling me everytime she came in that I should just get the drugs, it would make everyones lives easer, and that the pain would only get worse. Then when I did get the drugs (after over 24 hours with none) the nurse stood there saying how she could not belive what I did, how dumb she thought it was. They also did not ask me if they could do a c-s before they did it, just rolled me in the room. I have alot more, but I will get pissed again if i think about ti anymore.

(I'm still VERY bitter, can ya tell? lol)


----------



## mely (Feb 16, 2005)

I've had 4 hospital deliveries and the worst thing that happened was my 11 year old was delivered with forceps

I can't imagine having all of those horrible things happening - however I realized after this last pregnancy that I had been blessed with relatively easy pregnancies and labors with my first 3 kids.


----------



## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ckhagen* 
I think something perhaps that maybe you left off the poll is "I was told a situation was emergent and a certain course of action was necessary, but none of that was true".

That would be my situation. I consented to most of what happened to me, but only because I was told I had no choice because my baby would die or because labor was "not progressing" (far from the truth).

My DS was administered a Hep B vaccination after I vehemently told them not to. He was also bathed for the first time outside of my presence without my consent, before I even saw him for the first time. I also believe he was given glucose water in the nursery.

All of those things are only a small amount of the victimization I experienced though. The general care I recieved was miserable.

Mine is a very similar story, sadly.


----------



## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

Although my daughter's birth didn't go the way I had planned, none of those things listed above happened to me during her hospital birth.


----------



## Banana731 (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ckhagen* 
I think something perhaps that maybe you left off the poll is "I was told a situation was emergent and a certain course of action was necessary, but none of that was true".


I think that is a big part of the problem with OB care in general. That was experience too. My L&D experience started out okay, but got worse as the day progressed. I found the "night shift nurse" cliche to be very true. The first thing the night nurse said to me was, "I've had a look at your birth plan, and I want you to have a healthy baby and birth, but I've been a nurse for 16years and I'm not going to let you do anything that will cost me my license."

...not the best way to introduce yourself to a woman who has been laboring all day. That dumb b&*^%h, I can't remember her name, but I will never forget her.







: NOT!

That being said, the day shift nurse before was awesome, and the postpartum nurses rocked! The first nurse I had postpartum even came back to check on me and make sure we were okay, on her own time, the next day.

I would not go back to a hospital again to give birth unless I had no other choice. But I think you can have okay birth at the hospital, I've seen it happen, but no matter what it's still going to be a hospital birth. KWIM?


----------



## lilylove (Apr 10, 2003)

I gave birth in a hospital twice. Everything went ok at my Dd's birth, but mostly because I went along with dang near everything they said.

After my Ds's birth though, the nurses called CPS on us for refusing the eye ointment. We had no clue until a very sweet pp nurse ran ahead of the CPS worker to warn us. CPS threatened us with a court order and then being charged with medical neglect if we continued to refuse. She even lied to me when I asked what I could do to refuse it (there actually is a waiver in MI). She also said they would seek custody of my son if we refused a court order. All of this happened within an hour or so of giving birth. I was overwhelmed and freaked out and we consented. CPS still came to my home to 'check on us', about 3 weeks later.







:

FWIW, I had a great relationship with my CNMs. They had no clue that the hospital could or would call CPS over the eye goo. And they had attended hundreds of births in that hospital. I also thought I was informed on my rights. But I was unprepared for being lied to and I did not have any copies of the waiver to back me up. I was also completely unprepared for having to fight CPS within hours of giving birth.


----------



## sogriffin (May 22, 2005)

"I've had a medical intervention performed on me without my consent being asked for"
The episiotomy.

and

"a medical intervention was performed on my child after birth after I instructed the staff not to"
The Hep B shot. I said 'no' so they convinced my husband to sign the form. It's my fault though, before labor I never expressed to dh why I was saying 'no' to that


----------



## Layna (Sep 22, 2006)

I had a great hospital birth with my DD.
I was lucky enough to have an OB who I loved, (I considered a Midwife, but liked my OB so much that I decided to stick with her) She took the time to sit down with me and ask what I wanted and after I was done said, I see no problem what so ever with that... And stuck to her word.

I had a natural birth with no interventions. Not even a whisper of pain meds (Except in my head







) I would do it over again if I had to.


----------



## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

laralee16- the Finger Lakes region of upstate NY...it's not a beautiful hospital, it's all intitutional green and beige and there's no "birth suite as pretty spa" vibe, but the people and attitude make up for it!


----------



## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

I refused a catheder and was given some grief, but I held my own and gave birth just fine without it...imagine that







: I think that first time mothers are harassed more often for some reason. God forbid a first time mother know what she wants and dare to have opinions.

My last birth was in a birthing center and It was my favorit experience of all 3 births that I've had. Jakuzzi baby....nothing's better


----------



## skueppers (Mar 30, 2005)

I've had two hospital births, and didn't have any of those things happen either time.

The hospital staff did try to insist that I have continuous fetal monitoring at one point, but my own OB (who knew my views on the subject) said it was unnecessary, so the hospital staff required me to formally acknowledge that I'd been informed of the risks, etc. but they went along with my/my OB's wishes without any further hassle.

Obviously, I think having an OB or nurse midwife who will go to bat for you with the hospital staff is vital.


----------



## lifescholar (Nov 26, 2006)

Nothing bad happened to my son and I during my hospital experience. But, my hospital is awesome, and all 4 OBs I saw were excellent, very low-intervention and pro-NCB. So were the nurses.

As it was, I needed a LOT of medical intervention, but there was not a single procedure that I did not consent to, or that I felt uncomfortable with.

Here's hoping for a NCB next time, and hopefully with a midwife!


----------



## MonP'titBoudain (Nov 22, 2005)

Our experience was just about perfect (for the hospital!!). When we came in the triage nurse actually read our birthplan!!! She said, "I see you request no offers of pain medication. Good for you! I'll tell you know that if you change your mind that's fine, let us know, but otherwise it won't be mentioned again." And it wasn't. They only did a vaginal upon admittance and when the shift change came the 2nd nurse asked permission (and I consented). Everyone was very helpful, very respectful. That said, I chose this hopstial (and my OB) based on that reputation.

If you know what you want, write a clear, polite and succinct birth plan. Get your doctor to agree to it and ask the nursing staff to read it as they come on (which they are more likely to do if it is less than 1 page and easy to scan). And be confident of yourself. You can totally have the birth you want anywhere!


----------



## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

I had two hospital births. The only time something was done without my consent was to me. My blood pressure was spiking rapidly at the end of my labor with dd (firstborn), and afterward I was giving something (through an IV) to bring my blood pressure back down. I was informed as it was being given, rather than asked for my consent.

So . . . not ideal, but as far as these things go, it could have been worse. I expressed my concerns at my follow-up appointment, the doctor gave a qualified apology in that she didn't intend to avoid my consent but felt it was an emergency situation (although I don't remember feeling "off" or at risk), and with adjusting to my new life as a mama, I left it at that.

ETA: I should mention that she was a resident and I was one of her first birthing mamas, so I did give her more leeway than I would have given a more experienced doctor. On the other hand, in every other instance during my pregnancy and labor, she absolutely rocked and we got along very well. I think she just got caught up in the moment when it came to that one intervention.


----------



## tanya1976 (Apr 12, 2007)

I had a really good hospital birth during my first time. I did, however, experience an episiotomy without consent, though. But I didn't know as much then about it as I know now.


----------



## pampered_mom (Mar 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ckhagen* 
I think something perhaps that maybe you left off the poll is "I was told a situation was emergent and a certain course of action was necessary, but none of that was true".

That was my expereience with my c/s.


----------

