# declining a pelvic exam, after a miscarriage?



## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

i have a dr appt in 2 hours. I realy, really do not want a pelvic exam, especially since i am seeing a male OB and not one of the midwives. I just miscarried on monday, and my friend who is a homebirth midwife came to help me. I really do not want a pelvic exam, but this dr I am seeing not only irritates me, but intimidates me for some reason. I also am bleeding prety heavy, and i do not want a pelvic for that reason. Is it normal for a dr to do a pelvic 2 days post M/C or do they wait until you are a few weeks past like a post partum check?

all I can hope is this dr is attending abirth, and they have me see someone else.
thought i am in a mood to give this dr a piece of my mind. he is the least caring and compassionate OB i have ever come across.

Also they wanted me to bring in the baby and the placenta, or as the4y called it " any products of conception i may see" is that realy needed, if they are going to do an ultrasound anyway, to make sure my uterus is empty. I already decided they cannot have my baby, he is being buried today in my garden, but if they have to have my placenta, i guess I could give that to them.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I don't see any reason to do a pelvic- I'd be comfortable declining it. I would think the u/s would provide the information you need.










-Angela


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

They did not do a pelvic on me until 6 weeks after my natural miscarriage. An ultrasound will tell them what is going on. I did not have a pelvic exam at all after my D&C. Good luck!


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## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

I just got home. I really, really am not happy with these providers at all. Not ONE person asked me about my emotional health at all, and there was little mention of my physical health.

I told them that they lied when they told me i would have a heavy period and it would all be over. I told them that the 44 hours of labor was NOTHING like a period and was very much like all my labors i have had for my 2 still born children and my 3 living children.

The Dr did want to do a pelvic exam and i told him i am not comfortable with that. then in the next breath he told me to make sure nothing goes into my vagina, no sex, tampons or anything else. and i was sitting there thinking, " and you were just gonna put your fingers in there"

I am getting ready to write a long letter to the director of the clinic i am going to. He is a great and loving man with excellnt bedside manner, and i think he would like to know how the drs treat women.

I decided to bring my placenta with me, thinking they would be more apt to leave me alone and the dr said " i think that tissue might be the placenta, but i need to send it to the lab" ummmm i have had many babies and I know it is the placenta, and i did not ever go to medical school.

Dr terminology really gets to me too. He tells me these things," I am sorry your pregnancy did not progress." "Did the fetus come out" "The bloodwork shows no reason for the fetal demise" WHY are doctors so afraid to say the word BABY>>>> I have never once referred to my baby as a fetus or product of conception. From the day i see 2 pink lines i think about my BABY!!! Just makes me ears burn!!!

Sorry to vent. I just get so wound up when i go there. I have an U/S next Thursday and have to see the dr right after that. Then i will be requesting my records and never going back.


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## Got_Cloth (May 14, 2005)

double post


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

I'm sorry. That reminds me of when I went to the doctor after my second miscarriage to get my RhoGam shot.

She did a quick ultrasound and announced in a super-cheery voice, "Yup, that's one empty uterus!".

I never went back to that office.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I'm sorry.

-Angela


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## TayTaysMama (Oct 16, 2007)

I am so sorry!


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

I am so sorry.







No one should be treated with that much lack of respect.


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## northern light (Sep 25, 2005)

What a terrible experience, especially after you've lost a baby. Reminds me of the day I lost Rhye......

I decided the day of my m/c that it was weird for a man to become an ob/gyn. why would they choose a profession all about body parts they don't have and can't possibly understand?????







: A whole new rant of mine.......although women aren't always better atleast they can relate a little bit......

During my m/c I went to the hospital for a Rhogam shot and for a possible ultrasound. 9 hrs later I was still there and ended up having a pelvic exam as I passed out due to tissue in my cervix. I refused a D/C....Just wanted to be at home, natural like my other births. It was terrible and I really didn't want it. The Dr pulled all sorts of tissue out.... while mubling "you try to help someone and this is what you get......" I almost kicked him in the head







: I never found a baby or placenta so I'm sure he must've taken that from me also. So from experience Dr's do want to do exams throughout a m/c. My DP thinks that Dr. saved my life.......phhhhhhhh yea right!

Good for you, holding your ground with not wanting an exam today!
Sorry hijacking you post with my story.........


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## texaspeach (Jun 19, 2005)

I'm so sorry.









that sounds really traumatic.

I think one reason drs distances themselves from the word baby is because if they were emotionally involved with each woman's pregnancy, it would be totally draining. I don't think it is to be intentionally hurtful, though from my experience it certainly has that effect.

I think you handled it very well. standing your ground when you are feeling defenseless is really hard.


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