# DTD with kiddos in the room...



## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

We sleep with our almost 3 year old and our 16month old in a huge bed (a full size and twin size pushed together). Dh generally handles the oldest and I handle the baby in the night. Our little joke is that when we put the kiddos to sleep on the outside of the bed, one on each side far out, so we can have the middle, than we are 'in the mood'. If one of up puts the kid to sleep out but one of puts her in than the one that's 'in the mood' gets the hint...LOL Anyway, it isn't a fool proof system, but I was wondering who else has absolutely no qualms about dtd with sleeping children in the room?


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## monkeysmommy (Apr 3, 2003)

When dd was a newborn, we dtd with her in the same bed, and she usually stayed asleep, but if she woke up it was sort of like having the cat watch us. But when she was abou 5 mos. old she woke up and made it *quite* clear she did not like what she saw. So now we go in another room!


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## nataliekat (Dec 3, 2002)

We've never DTD with DD in the room, mainly because I just would not be able to concentrate on the task at hand.









I must confess, though, even if I could concentrate, I would feel quite weird about it.


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## OhMel (Oct 16, 2002)

DS is 8 months old and we have no issue with him in the bed or on the floor playing. We ususally give him toys and he has no idea what's going on. At this point I have no idea when we'll feel that he's too old, but right now it's cool.


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## GoodWillHunter (Mar 14, 2003)

Any room will do, don't you think?

It doesn't HAVE to be in the bed. Why not the floor? The counter? (never tried that...) The couch? The unused "baby's room"? The bathroom? Dr. Sears says "be creative!"


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## cinnamonamon (May 2, 2003)

i knew we were "there" when we put the comforter on the floor to dtd & not wake the boy up! he doesnt much care for bouncy bed hehe...

i'm not sure how long we'll do it -- probably til the baby notices & starts watchin.. i cant imagine makin eye contact with my baby in the middle of "makin whoopie" hehe  remember the newlywed game?!


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

Sorry to sound ignorant but what does "DTD" stand for?? I get the jist from the posts but can decipher the abbreviations.....


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

We do it sometimes while the kids are asleep in the room. Our daughter has her own bed now, but our son shares a bed with us. He's never woken up during "the deed." They are both sound sleepers.

Once we snuck to the bedroom while the kids were playing. Imagine our surprise when our daughter yells "OK, MY TURN!" We were under covers, though, and she thought we were just horseplaying (we horseplay with the kids on the bed all the time). Still, quite the shock.

Come to think of it, my parents must have done this as well. My siblings and I co-slept and they had not a single night to themselves for over 13 years (straight from one kid to the next, sometimes cosleeping with more than one). I have absolutely no memory of any such thing, but these are people who still have no qualms about being seen totally naked by the rest of us, so I cannot imagine that they would move the action, if you know what I mean.


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## Nemmer (Sep 30, 2002)

I voted do it beyond a year, since ds just turned a year and I don't see us changing our pattern anytime real soon. We usually wait till he's asleep, and it doesn't bother him. When he was younger he slept in our bed, so we'd just move him to the side. Now he's on a toddler mattress on the floor next to our bed, so we don't even worry about him getting woken by the bouncing anymore.







If he's awake, then our rule is no DTD (I'm guessing "do the dance?" or something similar?) until he's sleeping. We have moved ourselves to other rooms, too, but usually its no big deal to just stay in the bedroom.


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## skibumel (Jul 17, 2002)

I echo Jennifers reply.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

DTD- I meant Do the Deed, but I guess it can mean whatever you want it to.


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## nuggetsmom (Aug 7, 2002)

Wow, I am sqeamish about DTD in front of DD. Even asleep. We go to another room now. When she was a newborn she was in the room once, but she is not a sound sleeper so if we did DTD with her in the room she would wake up and I doubt that she would hang out till we were done.
But yeah, even if she is in our bed and we are elsewhere I worry that she will wake up and walk over to find us. So once when we were in the mood during the day I refused to put on the TV for her so we could fool around.
Entirely my hangup and I don't like it. I wish I were more laid back about it so my kids won't grow up with the same hangups...


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## MamaOui (Aug 9, 2002)

2much2luv, we have the same set up (but a twin and a king) and our kids are the same age. Yep, we have sex while they snooze away. And I don't even think about them while dh and I have fun. I think it's because I know they're safe. Sometimes we find somewhere else for our activities, but #2 is usually sleeping in the same room that we are in. Ds#1 sleeps through the night, so I don't worry about him. It's such a part of our life that I can separate it from dh and my sex life.


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## nataliekat (Dec 3, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by nuggetsmom_
*Entirely my hangup and I don't like it. I wish I were more laid back about it so my kids won't grow up with the same hangups...*
Don't feel you have "hangups" because you don't want to have sex in the same room with your kids.

When their children are old enough to start developing an "attitude" about sex, I'm sure the rest of these mamas won't be DTD in front of them. Your willingness to discuss it openly is going to do a lot more to shape their attitude than your willingness to do it in the same room with them. KWIM?

Everyone's feeling about it is different. Some people will only do it when their kid is under one year. Some people will only do it when their kid is asleep. Some will do it with the kid awake and distracted by toys.

Personally, for me it 's a private moment between me and DH and I don't want anyone else there.


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## 2much2luv (Jan 12, 2003)

I am so suprised at how natural it feels when they're in the room. I mean 3 years ago I never dreamed I'd be able to do 'that' with babies right there. But we are just very relaxed about it. It is so funny, but if one of them coughs or stirs we just stop for a minute so as not to wake her, look over and when she's done we're right back at it (after a giggle of course)
It is interesting that we all feel so differently on this issure. Perhaps we each know our own child best and truly know deep down what they want. Maybe some children are sensitive to things like this and if asked would prefer you take it in the other room. But maybe other children are less squeamish about it all and seriously could care less either way. Just some thoughts, but I know for sure that you are not defective if you don't do it with them in the room or if you do do it with them in the room. Every family and person is different. That;s all there is to it.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

Well, I didn't vote b/c I don't know when we'll stop. DD is 10 months right now.

My problem is that if she ISN'T where I can see her, I can't concentrate on "the deed". I'm constantly thinking "what if she wakes and I can't hear her", etc. So we basically wait until DD is asleep and then we go for it. We have tried it a couple of times when she's awake and in the mood to play with some toys on the floor by herself for a bit. But lately that's not happening. It does sorta break the mood when you feel a little hand tap you on the shoulder, lol.

I have no issues with it, though. It's a loving thing between mum and dad. I'm sure at some point we will not be comfortable doing it, but I'm guessing that we'll know when that happens.


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## kindmomma (Sep 18, 2002)

I have a funny story
I have a friend from Englad who asked me how we "do it" if the children are in our bed.....
Well we have this comforter that we throw on the couch and that is where we do it. Sometimes the one who is "in the mood" throws the comforter on the couch as a "hint"
She came to stay with us a few days and when she was off to bed asked me for a heavier blanket. When I brought her a comforter she said 'This isn't the shag rag is it"
I about died, that is what we call it now. DH yelling "where is the shag rag"
LOL


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## mama_kass (Jan 11, 2003)

Shag rag, I love that.

DS is 7 months old. When he is asleep we can DTD at the bottom of the bed without disturbing him at all. We are both comfortable with this. However, quite often we find other places. It is fun! DTD in the same place at the same time is boring. I like the adventure that co-sleeping has added to our DTD.


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## Moon (Nov 25, 2001)

Sophie is now.....holy smokes, 19 months old. When dp is here, she goes to sleep in our bed but we then move her to the cot which is alongside the bed on my side.

It never ceases to amaze me how much she can sleep through.

On the odd occasion she's woken up, the VERY odd occasion, we stop, sooth her back down, and then take up where we left off.


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## MoonLissa (May 3, 2003)

SHAG RAG!!!







I love it!

^^Liss


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## tausborn (Aug 10, 2003)

Both of mine are vv heavy sleepers, when asleep! We have never bothered to find another room. Right now we have a king bed and a twin. Sometimes we put them both in the king, and use the twin bed. They have never, ever woken up during. Lucky me!


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## PurplePixiePooh (Aug 5, 2003)

I voted not in the room/bed at any age.
It is not something that we feel is family activity. Family making, yes, family togetherness no.

Waht I like alot is that once we both realize hey its sex time! We sneak out of the bedroom and into the toy room (it has a twin bed in it) and do it there. So sexy.....


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## mamarsupial (Mar 20, 2002)

we have, but only a couple times when dd was completely zonked out on one end of the bed, and things just sort of happened with us on the OTHER side. not something we really decided was okay or not at the time. if you asked me, i would say the idea made me uncomfortable...yet, its happened, and when it did, it wasn't wierd (hard to find the right words...'felt fine' or 'no big deal' are ripe for jokes!). other than those 2 times, we dtd when dd is sleeping in her own bed.


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## Justice2 (Mar 18, 2003)

:LOL

I remember when my dd was about 6 months old and my xhubby and I were dtd with her in the same room...I happened to look up (the x and I didn't cosleep with dd in the same bed, she was in a crib next to our bed) and there she was, staring at us....NEVER again. I felt like an idiot!


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