# almost 8 year old wtting the bed every night. What can I do?



## mamapajama (Feb 9, 2003)

Hello!
Looking for some advice/ideas. My ds almost 8 wets the bed every night. He wears pull ups but still pees through them. The doctor has always told us that there is nothing we can do and he will just out grow it, but when? He sleeps so soundly he just cant seem to wake himself up. I wake him up to use the bathroom at midnight, but he still wets the bed in the early hours of the morning. I could get up at 5am to wake him to use the bathroom, but truly I do not want to do that because I am past my many years of getting up multiple times a night on a regular basis and I dont think he will go back to sleep if he wakes up at 5 or 6am. Will he outgrow this? Can I teach him to stop or is it truly totally out of all our controls? Anyone experienced this?

Thanks!


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## quelindo (May 11, 2005)

Have you considered the possibility that he might have a food allergy? Dairy allergies can cause this.


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## zeldamomma (Jan 5, 2006)

First, instead of pull-ups, get one of the products designed for bedwetters, they hold more fluid (Goodnights is one brand, but there are others).

Aside from that, you might want to consider whether he's constipated (leaving less room for his bladder), and whether he gets enough sleep. IME, being overtired leads to deeper sleep. I think the Goodnights help with this, because I think, despite all appearances to the contrary, sleeping part of the night in a puddle is less restful.

HTH! I know it's frustrating for everyone involved.


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## Aquitane (Aug 26, 2008)

I second making sure he is not constipated. That can be a factor.

We have (in the past) restricted fluids near bedtime, and gotten up every 3 or so hours to take DD (who is 7) to the toilet. We also tried a homeopathic remedy, but I forgot the name of the company.

Nothing worked for DD so we began a program at the Enuresis Treatment Center in Farmington, Michigan. However, if you search online, you can find a lot of information about enuresis.

I know that this is very hard, not just for you, but for your DS, as well. I hope you are able to find something that works for you.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Sleep disorders can also cause bedwetting. My DS1 wet the bed pretty much nightly until he was 11. He had sleep apnea.


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

My dd was six years old and wet the bed nearly every night of her life. She was a very heavy sleeper. We ordered a malem bedwetting alarm online. It worked far beyond our expectations. She was totally dry in less than two weeks. I think she had one or two very small accidents in the next month, but that was that.

She asked us why we hadn't gotten the alarm years earlier.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

I just learned that kids with ADD/ADHD often wet the bed (this was true of my ADD dh). Might be worth considering, if he's got other symptoms that point to this...just wanted to throw it into the mix


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## titania8 (Feb 15, 2007)

i second the food allergy possibility.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
Sleep disorders can also cause bedwetting. My DS1 wet the bed pretty much nightly until he was 11. He had sleep apnea.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *XanaduMama* 
I just learned that kids with ADD/ADHD often wet the bed (this was true of my ADD dh). Might be worth considering, if he's got other symptoms that point to this...just wanted to throw it into the mix

I'm not attempting to negate what you said, but wanted to also mention that some people are diagnosed with ADHD when they are actually suffering from sleep disorders. Inattention, inability to focus, irritability, and other "ADHD" behaviors often occur when a person is sleep-deprived. My kid carried a label for six years before he was properly diagnosed and treated. It was a nightmare.


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## Aquitane (Aug 26, 2008)

I wanted to second some information you've gotten. Yes, a lot of ADHD kids wet the bed, but like 2xy says, many times they have a sleep disorder.

Also, in our treatment we have used an alarm (along with some other non-medical interventions). It's worked beautifully.


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## MamaMamaMama! (Sep 30, 2006)

Try 1 tsp of sesame seeds right before he goes to bed. I have no idea why this works, but my 6 1/2 year old went from wetting every night three times a night to staying dry all night, all by himself. It took a month or so of him still needing to be taken to pee around midnight (just once) but eventually he didn't even need that anymore.

I do agree that it could be allergies, though; there are a lot of undiagnosed dairy allergies out there.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
I'm not attempting to negate what you said, but wanted to also mention that some people are diagnosed with ADHD when they are actually suffering from sleep disorders. Inattention, inability to focus, irritability, and other "ADHD" behaviors often occur when a person is sleep-deprived. My kid carried a label for six years before he was properly diagnosed and treated. It was a nightmare.

I totally agree! Investigating sleep disorders and allergies should be the first course of action. I just wanted to throw the ADD possibility out there, for consideration (and only if it seems to fit).

OT (sorry OP): In my dh's case (and probably ds's, I think), it's a legitimate diagnosis (and I should say that I was a total non-believer before being married to dh







and seeing the improvement once he got diagnosed and medicated...). But I am learning all sorts of interesting things about the underlying causes of ADD, including gut health and allergies.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

My 9 year old has just starting making significant progress in this area. He has been wearing Goodnights for several years. He's not allergic to anything. I just sometimes thinks it takes time.

I also think his mind subconsciencely was remembering about the pull up and wetting just before he was fully awake.

We actually started about a month ago to just go cold turkey and it has proved very effective. We want his brain to remember that there's no pull up.

Having said that, we'd tried many times in the past and it didn't work so we moved on for a time and tried again later.


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## knee_deep_with_1 (Jan 24, 2010)

My daughter is 7 and is nowhere close to being dry at night. I go back and forth between pull ups and reg underwear and it doesnt make a difference whart she wears to bed. I really hate wasting money on the pull ups because they just dont work and I still end up washing sheets but they do help a little. Instead of the bed getting totally soaked, its just wet...not that it makes a difference. The other reason I dont like them is that she will wet in them in the morning when she wakes up instead of going to the bathroom. Same thing at night, she will lay in bed wide awake and pee in the pull up instead of getting up to go. I remember her doing that right in front of me a couple times when reading her a story and she totally denied that she was wet when I asked her. She just isnt motivated to want to try to stop as it seems its normal to her to still wet the bed at 7. She is the least bit embarrassed that she does it and could care less who knows. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I am all ears!

Mary


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## Aquitane (Aug 26, 2008)

Some advice for when you have to change the bed at night: We layer the bed. I goes like this:

Mattress
Waterproof mattress cover
fitted sheet
half of a cheap vinyl tablecloth (or shower curtain)
fitted sheet
half of a cheap vinyl tablecloth
fitted sheet

So we have three layers. When DD used to wet the bed, we would simply strip the sheet, take off the tablecloth, and she could go back to sleep. You just have to wipe the tablecloth or shower curtain down before using again.

This is how we survived for a while. It was quick and easy to get back to sleep!


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## smpayne (Oct 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *XanaduMama* 
But I am learning all sorts of interesting things about the underlying causes of ADD, including gut health and allergies.

OOOH!! I would like to see some of this information. I have 2 ADHD boys. One has lots of problems with Allergies and he has a super sensative stomach. Now I wonder if he could possibly have sleep disorders.

My youngest is 11 has no allergies, but does have constant problems with constipation and wetting the bed. But I never connected the two together before, makes sense. His bedwetting is now limited to over exahustion and growth spurts. He will go months with a dry bed and then all of a sudden it's every day for about a week. He was diagnosed with some lack of sensation due to constant constipation, which causes him to have "accidents", which is really annoying.


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## lnitti (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *knee_deep_with_1* 
My daughter is 7 and is nowhere close to being dry at night. I go back and forth between pull ups and reg underwear and it doesnt make a difference whart she wears to bed. I really hate wasting money on the pull ups because they just dont work and I still end up washing sheets but they do help a little. Instead of the bed getting totally soaked, its just wet...not that it makes a difference. The other reason I dont like them is that she will wet in them in the morning when she wakes up instead of going to the bathroom. Same thing at night, she will lay in bed wide awake and pee in the pull up instead of getting up to go. I remember her doing that right in front of me a couple times when reading her a story and she totally denied that she was wet when I asked her. She just isnt motivated to want to try to stop as it seems its normal to her to still wet the bed at 7. She is the least bit embarrassed that she does it and could care less who knows. If anyone has any advice or suggestions, I am all ears!

Mary

This is my 6 year old. We use goodnights and underjams and they rarely leak though.


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## mija (Sep 21, 2002)

I've had success beyond what I had hoped with the rodgers alarm from the bedwetting store online (you can get the malem alarm there too). We've followed the instructions they gave us, including not restricting fluids or waking to take to the bathroom, and been very successful. He has had lots of dry nights and almost never had any previously (we've been using it about 3 weeks), and if he wets he only wets a tiny bit and then the alarm gets him up - he is VERY difficult to wake normally. He is 7.5.


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## starbyfar7 (Jul 21, 2010)

dd struggles with the same problem!
its only been very recent (since about age 6) that we stopped wearing goodnights. i kept her in them because if i didn't i would literally have to wake her up every 2 hours to empty her bladder and even if i restricted fluids hours before bed, each time i took her to the bathroom, the force of her pee would be like she drank gallons of water throughout the night! once we got a solid routine down with the goodnights, eventually i started noticing that she would wake up dry, consistently.
i don't necessarily restrict fluids during a certain timeframe in the evening.. but i won't allow her to drink right before bedtime. she empties her bladder right before bed and i have to wake her up EXACTLY an hour later to go again otherwise she'll be wet. after that, she's good until she wakes herself up in the morning and my girl is a late sleeper! she'll stay dry until about 10am and generally she's in bed by 9pm.

we still have accidents if she's had copious amount of water in evening.. but we're at the point where we go weeks without an accident.. as long as i'm diligent. i don't know when she'll be able to do this on her own. dd is a ridiculously hard sleeper. lmao i basically have to drag her to the bathroom at night! times that she does pee the bed at night, she doesn't even wake up! i feel so horrible when she comes to me in the morning having slept for hours on wet sheets.. but there have even been times where she wasn't even aware that she peed..

the hardest part about the whole thing has been sleepovers







you know how cruel some kids can be.. and for a 6 year old to be sleeping in what looks like a diaper can be something they snicker at. i'm just glad we're past the goodnights stage.
if your pediatrician has ruled out issues with bladder development, id say just work on getting a good solid schedule down and ride it out. it won't last forever!


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## greenmulberry (Jan 11, 2009)

I wet the bed until I was 11. The thing that helped me was practicing "holding it", I know it sounds silly, but I just had no bladder capacity.

My parents had tried many things, but it wasn't until someone suggested I needed to work on stretching my bladder. During the day, if I had to pee, I would practice "holding it" for a while. It really seemed to help. I got better about not having to go right away, and stopped peeing in my sleep.


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## mamapajama (Feb 9, 2003)

I left town for awhile and just now got back to this thread. And wow! My ds could def be diagnosed with ADHD, I just have never taken him for testing and we homeschool, so I have avoided the label. We have also in the past struggled with possible food allergies. Thanks for all the info and ideas. Nice to know we aren't alone in this.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I know several people who wet the bed when they were children but stopped around puberty, fwiw.


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## bulldozer (Jan 10, 2011)

well i just cannot stand by and stay silent ... so much nonsense, my heart just bleeds!!

look, i am a 65 yo pediatrician now retired, i spent my whole life looking after kids, never married and many moms take great pleasure in pointing out just what i could possibly know since i never had any children of my own ... no, i never did - simply because i never found a mother for my children (i desperately wanted at least ten of them), and i took that responsibility extremely seriously.

Back to bed wetting. Look: when we are awake we decide what to do - if we care enough just to take a split second look at what is happening and what we are about to do. Not many care enough to pause and look and the outcome stand witness to that. But when asleep, who or what makes the choice? Even your seven year old will likely know the answer - the subconscious, of course, mommy! And right he is, the subconscious never sleeps, it keeps an eye on us as ong as we are alive, conscious or not, no matter.


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## bulldozer (Jan 10, 2011)

ok, so the kind webmaster cut me off in the middle of sentence so to speak; before i could even edit the misprints ...

let's see if i can coherently carry on.

so the subconscious keeps an eye on us when our consciousness is not awake. so we continue to stay alive and wake up if and when required. to pee or to poop, or to just simply carry on. but our subconscious is as lazy as we humans are, sometimes it is too much trouble so it slacks off, it cheats. if you spend enough time talking to your little person he will readily tell you he wakes up all wet in his bed after he dreams he has to pee, he is standing where he can, so he does - and then he wakes up in his bed, all wet, and he feels terrible, all dirty and ashamed, all because his subconscious cheated on him and let him down!! look, all humans are born with nothing, we all must learn absolutely everything we need from the scratch, and our subconscious is no exception. but this beast is much better at learning than most of us are, it rarely took more than one session with a little person and that was the last wet night of his life .. the little guy was quietly sitting in the corner playing with some toy while i was talking to his mom, but it usually did the trick, all i wanted was a follow up phone call that all is well, that is what my life was all about, all i wanted were healthy, happy and rambunctious kids!!

so what was the advice?

first, make sure there is no pathology, no illness, nothing that needs medical treatment. any half competent physician should have already taken care of that, urinalysis, urine culture and renal ultrasound is all what is needed. if your doctor has not arranged that already, i strongly advice you start looking for a better care.

second, all the common stuff you can read on all and any website:

- limit fluids before bedtime, the less you take in, the less must come out;

- to bathroom to pee before bedtime;

- and take him up to pee when you are going to bed, ever so gently, he does not even have to wake up, but it will make the going just a bit easier;

finally, here comes the real stuff:

- at bedtime he will play a game: before he has gone to pee, he will go and lie in his bed, playacting, really talking aloud to himself "here i am, in my nice warm DRY bed, but i have to go to pee (which he does, remember, we started this before he went to the bathroom), but i will not pee in my bed, i will wake up, i will go to the bathroom, i will SIT DOWN on the toilet (this is important, the subconscious will try to cheat him it is ok to pee when he is standing - the usual situation, but he will know it is a fake, since he will pee only when sitting!!) so i wake up, i go to the bathroom, i sit on the toilet" and - wow what relief - i will pee!! but i will clamp up as soon as i start (practicing bladder control, and saving ammunition for another run), go back to the bed, and start all over again. "here i am, in my nice warm DRY bed ... " and so on, as many time as the urge to pee persists, the more times the better.

- when he is finally all empty and there is nothing more to pee, he will snuggle up in his DRY WARM bed and go to sleep, all the time telling himself, initially aloud then quietly as he is falling asleep (actually telling his subconscious) "and when i have to pee i will NOT pee my bed, i will wake up and go to the bathroom, i will SIT DOWN and pee in the toilet!!" and he really has to go to sleep with this thought uppermost on his mind, and i bet you anything he will be dry from this very first night on!!

sure, i am not willing to take any bets on the dignity of the little guy so the pull-ups are in order, it is ever so much easier to change the pull-ups than the whole bed, but all he little guys i have ever met were so happy to use the pull-ups they did not need rather than to face the dire alternative ... and they should be allowed to decide when to stop using them.

lastly, i keep talking of boys only while everyone keeps talking about boys an girls. the trouble is, i have never, in my thirty years of practice, seen an enuretic girl. odd things do happen, but in my practice unuresis and encopresis was strictly limited to boys ..

i am not sure how this website works, but if my email shows i'd be delighted to hear from you ...


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## by-the-lake (Jul 2, 2008)

I was an enuretic girl....


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## mija (Sep 21, 2002)

We skeptically tried an alarm with our then 7 yo ds and it worked beyond all expectations. We used the kind with built in underpants from the bedwetting store.


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