# Casual friend leaving sleeping toddler in car



## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

We were at a friend's house yesterday afternoon and a mutual aquaintance was there as well. This mama has a 4yo, who was running around playing with dd, and a 1 yo, who was nowhere in sight.

We ate lunch and were sitting around talking, and I asked who had her toddler today? She answered "Oh, she was sleeping so I left her out in the car. I'll go check on her here in a minute."









Now, the cars were all parked over on the side of the house, nowhere in sight of the room we were in. It was probably about 50 degrees out.

I said "What? She's in the car? Oh my god, please go get her. I'm sure it's alright to put her down in one of the bedrooms and she can keep sleeping." She said "Oh, she would wake up and she's really grumpy today. I'm just going to let her sleep."

I went over and told dh what she said. As he and I were talking about what to do she went out to check on her daughter. She came back in and the baby was just wailing unconsolably. I suspect that she'd woken up alone and been crying in the car for a while based on how exhausted and red-faced she looked







. The mother just seemed annoyed and kept bouncing her on her knee. Our friend kept trying to get the baby something to eat and asking if she needed to lay down, or was she okay? The mom just rolled her eyes and said "She doesn't want anything today. She's just grumpy."

I got called into work right after that and we had to leave. But I'm just miserable thinking about that child. In our state it's illegal to leave a child in a car if 'potential dangerous conditions' exist. I can't see how a 1 yo alone and out of sight or hearing could be anything other than potentially dangerous.

I don't know this woman well at all - have just met her a couple of times. I will see her again soon, I'm sure, due to mutual friends and such. What would _really_ result in a positive change? For me to talk to her directly and try to get her to see how hurtful and dangerous that kind of thing is? Or send CPS over to her house and scare her?

She seems affectionate and connected with her 4 yo. It was very odd and very disturbing.


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## DandeCobb (Jul 20, 2006)

i have 2 or 3 times done that (left sleeping fussy baby in the car sleeping) but i RAN inside, grabbed a diet coke and a book and sat on the porch (only feet from the open car doors) and relaxed. I can't imagine just going in, eating, ect. that seems to indicate a mamma who is a little disconnected from her kids


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## mavery (Jun 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
In our state it's illegal to leave a child in a car if 'potential dangerous conditions' exist. I can't see how a 1 yo alone and out of sight or hearing could be anything other than potentially dangerous.

A 1-yr old strapped in a car seat in a locked car parked off the street beside the house in a residential neighbourhood when the weather is neither danerously hot nor dangerously cold doesn't seem likely to qualify, to me. Bad parenting, perhaps - esp. since the child was so upset - but I'm not sure a police officer or CPS worker would conclude it was dangerous.

As much as I don't like the idea of what she did, in your shoes I would conclude that there was nothing I could do about it that would be really effective, except if it happened again to again express my discomfort and pointedly go out once or twice to check on the child.


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## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DandeCobb* 
that seems to indicate a mamma who is a little disconnected from her kids


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## Metasequoia (Jun 7, 2005)

I do it all of the time & I'm pretty darned attached. I park in my driveway & if it's warm, I leave the windows down. I don't leave anyone in the car if it's too cold or too hot. I go out every 10 minutes & peek in on them (at this point it's usually always Ds, but Dd2 occasionally konks out too.) I can see my van from the kitchen where I spend most of my time. I don't feel that it's at all risky in my situation & my kids *need* the sleep & I won't risk waking them up by moving them.


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

I have to agree that it doesn't really sound like "dangerous conditions" as well.

I used to do this with my ds when he was little. I had to drive him around to get him to sleep for his nap and if you even looked at him he would wake up so I couldn't just bring him in. Most times I would just sit in the car with a book. But some days, when it was nice out, I would go into the house. I always put the baby monitor in there though. Also my car was right next to my front door...like it's so close you can't open the car door all the way or it hits the wall of the house and we live in military housing so I do feel it's a little safer. But yeah I never would have done it if I didn't think I could hear ds when he woke (and FTR he never woke up screaming and confused at being alone).

If you really want to stop her though you could just threaten to report her. I had someone threaten me and you better bet I never did it again. I don't know if they were serious (they were on a message board and I'm not even sure they had all my info or not) but I sure as heck wasn't going to chance it.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mavery* 
A 1-yr old strapped in a car seat in a locked car parked off the street beside the house in a residential neighbourhood when the weather is neither danerously hot nor dangerously cold doesn't seem likely to qualify, to me. Bad parenting, perhaps - esp. since the child was so upset - but I'm not sure a police officer or CPS worker would conclude it was dangerous. .

ITA. From my own experience, the police probably won't be interested, and you'd be wasting everyone's time. As far as CPS is concerned, calling them would be waaaaay out of proportion. Poor family, having CPS get involved in their lives over something like this. `CPS imo is for far more serious issues of neglect or abuse, not what amounts to maybe a poorer parenting choice than one of us might make.

I know the 'child left in car' discussion does the rounds here, but honestly,, although I wouldnt do it myself, I think that the seriousness/danger aspect is blown way out of proportion here. And ime the police think so too, unless the weather is extreme, or the engine running, or the child loose in the car.

My advice would be to leave it well alone. It sounds like this is not a close friend. If it is, and it bothers you, talk to her face to face . If not, just let it be.


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## Dragonfly (Nov 27, 2001)

That's awful. I'd probably tell her so and point out how terrified her child must have been to wake up and find no one around.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I said "What? She's in the car? Oh my god, please go get her."

Already you let her know that you consider that behavior to be innapropriate, and she'll probably think twice before doing it again.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

I must confess, I feel like I stumbled onto a Parenting forum instead of MDC. I can't imagine, in my wildest of dreams, how a mother could leave her baby alone and unattended to like that. Of course the baby is going to wake up and be terrified. If you were looking out every few minutes and her time awake and frightened was limited, the maybe I could see (but not really, to be honest). But to leave the baby while you eat lunch and sit around chatting it up? That baby could have been screaming for 45 minutes for all we know. It would be very easy for a distraught child that age to vomit and choke while strapped into a carseat. Not to mention the fear and anxiety she must have felt. Which is what really bothers me.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

I think I would be uncomfortable with the car being out of site. How long was the mom inside without checking on the babe? I've left my kids asleep in the driveway in nice weather. I check on them a lot and we're off the road a ways. So that doesn't seem that strange to me. But calling the police or cps seems extreme in my opinion. I know I hate the idea of crying it out, but would you call cps on someone over it. In reality, what this mom did doesn't sound like anything that different from that.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

I must confess, I feel like I stumbled onto a Parenting forum instead of MDC. I can't imagine, in my wildest of dreams, how a mother could leave her baby alone and unattended to like that. Of course the baby is going to wake up and be terrified. If you were looking out every few minutes and her time awake and frightened was limited, the maybe I could see (but not really, to be honest). But to leave the baby while you eat lunch and sit around chatting it up? That baby could have been screaming for 45 minutes for all we know. It would be very easy for a distraught child that age to vomit and choke while strapped into a carseat. Not to mention the fear and anxiety she must have felt. Which is what really bothers me.

I don't think there are inconsistencies. I"ve personally said the same thing on all these threads. Personally, I wouldn't leave my kid to go buy milk either, but I also wouldn't call the police or CPS on someone else who made that decision.

ITA that it is sad for the poor baby. But then, babies are left every night to cry themselves off to sleep like that in a crib, and that choice is considered a good one even by many professionals. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who did this, but neither would I call CPS on them. My point was, anyway, that if you did, the police would probably not do anything, and nor would CPS. And no matter what my opinion is on a baby left to cry in a car (or anywhere), I would not wish CPS on a family who made this choice, even if CPS or the police would do something.

I personally have been consistent every time I respond on one of these threads, and my advice would be to say something to her face if it bothers you, or not to socialise again.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *race_kelly* 
I think I would be uncomfortable with the car being out of site. How long was the mom inside without checking on the babe? I've left my kids asleep in the driveway in nice weather. I check on them a lot and we're off the road a ways. So that doesn't seem that strange to me. But calling the police or cps seems extreme in my opinion. I know I hate the idea of crying it out, but would you call cps on someone over it. In reality, what this mom did doesn't sound like anything that different from that.

Yep, rather like leaving a baby to cry in a crib if they wake half-hour sooner than they are 'supposed to'. I know people who'd do that and think nothing of it, but I'd not dream of calling CPS on them. I just don't choose to be friends with them.


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## FiddleMama (Feb 27, 2007)

Really? It only illegal in what, bad weather? It seems dangerous in and of itself (and I'm a mama of 2 under 2 so I can definitely understand the inclination).


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## jellop (Dec 11, 2006)

I'm actually really surprised at the responses here too, blessed. I've seen the freak-outs at the idea of parents leaving their children in the car while they run in the store real quick to grab a drink (and could see the car and their child), or the parents have left their child/ren in the car while they ran into a house for a couple minutes.

I don't know if there's anything you can do to prove the point to that mother that what she did was wrong. Yes, I'm saying that what she did was wrong. Leaving her child (a one year old!) strapped in a car out of sight for an extended amount of time is WRONG and neglectful, IMO!! So many things could have happened. You displayed your displeasure and concern over what she did, and hopefully she'll think twice about it next time. I don't think calling the cops or calling CPS would be helpful or a good idea, but honestly - I would be tempted. It feels like there should be something you should do, ykwim? Thankfully the baby was okay (technically, you know, besides being terrified














).

I'm against CIO - but usually the child is in a crib, in the home, easily accessible to the parents - not left out in a car where a stranger could steal the child (or the car), out of earshot and out of view. So to me, this is _totally_ different that CIO - the circumstances are _totally_ different.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jellop* 
I'm against CIO - but usually the child is in a crib, in the home, easily accessible to the parents - not left out in a car where a stranger could steal the child (or the car), out of earshot and out of view. So to me, this is _totally_ different that CIO - the circumstances are _totally_ different.


Honestly, cio in a crib or in a car seems similar to me. The child's parent doesn't come when the child needs them. IF the car was in an area where it could be stolen, then yes, I would consider that a different situation. Of course I also consider cio dangerous to children, but I still wouldn't call the police or cps.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

I must confess, I feel like I stumbled onto a Parenting forum instead of MDC. I can't imagine, in my wildest of dreams, how a mother could leave her baby alone and unattended to like that. Of course the baby is going to wake up and be terrified. If you were looking out every few minutes and her time awake and frightened was limited, the maybe I could see (but not really, to be honest). But to leave the baby while you eat lunch and sit around chatting it up? That baby could have been screaming for 45 minutes for all we know. It would be very easy for a distraught child that age to vomit and choke while strapped into a carseat. Not to mention the fear and anxiety she must have felt. Which is what really bothers me.

I agree with you 100%! I absolutely think this mother was neglecting her child by doing what she did (as you described the situation).

Whether or not the child woke up would not have changed my opinion of the situation. It was outrageous to say the least. She should know better. She couldn't clearly hear or see her child.

What would have happened if someone stole the car? Or the baby woke up right after she got in the house (happened in this circumstance)?


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## hillymum (May 15, 2003)

I've done the same thing, but hooked up a baby monitor so that I would hear ds the moment he wakes up. Next time you see this mom and she has left her dc asleep in a vehicle could you suggest such a thing?


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

I must confess, I feel like I stumbled onto a Parenting forum instead of MDC. I can't imagine, in my wildest of dreams, how a mother could leave her baby alone and unattended to like that. Of course the baby is going to wake up and be terrified. If you were looking out every few minutes and her time awake and frightened was limited, the maybe I could see (but not really, to be honest). But to leave the baby while you eat lunch and sit around chatting it up? That baby could have been screaming for 45 minutes for all we know. It would be very easy for a distraught child that age to vomit and choke while strapped into a carseat. Not to mention the fear and anxiety she must have felt. Which is what really bothers me.

I think it's a stretch to say that all kids would be terrified. My ds was never scared. Usually I went out there to find him babbling and playing with the toys he had near him in his seat. I know lots of moms on MDC never leave their kids' side because they are high needs or whatever but some of us do have really mellow kids (and my payback is my super high needs dd lol) who honestly don't mind being alone sometimes


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## Mrs.Bufford (May 30, 2007)

Well, hm.. I guess I am one of those that does leave the baby in the car if I will be gone for three minutes. When I have to run into DH's work to drop off/pick up something, she stays if she is asleep or content and awake (he has cameras in his office,one of which watches the parking lot). Same thing if I have to run in the house to get the check book or whatever. However, I think it sucks to leave the babe in the car for an extended amount of time. It would be terrible to be stuck in the seat, without any noises from mom, and then freak out and still be stuck in the seat.

So my opinion is : a couple of minutes tops, just fine. Long enough to eat and hang out, downright stinky.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Sorry I can't leave this alone. I just wanted to say if I saw your car in a parking lot or on the street with an unattended child inside, I would call 911 immediately.

It is one thing to be standing a few feet away while you wait for your child to wake up. Clearly I wouldn't call because I would see a mother attending to her child. It is a whole other thing to be leaving a wide awake (or sleeping) baby in a car alone while you run into a place (cameras in the lot or not).

Those of you leaving children unattended in your car need to read this

There is no way this is a safe practice. Above and beyond the "CIO" attachment issue.


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## JessasMilkMama (Oct 24, 2004)

My friend used to do that and she is the most AP mom you will find. I didnt think it was the worst thing in the world - maybe because she is from small town Wisconsin and she didnt think anything would happen?

I wouldnt feel comfortable leaving a baby on the street, but I have done it in my own gated driveway plenty of times. I dont think its anything to call the police over, maybe thats just how she was raised and doesnt know any better? I mean odds are the child would be fine...


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## JessasMilkMama (Oct 24, 2004)

oh actually I guess I have done it, when I used to leave my 2yo in the car while I ran into dd1s preschool to get her, and also I have done it to run into the gas station or ATM. Both times the car was in my view the whole time.


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## glorified_rice (Jun 5, 2005)

OP, I would have been totally blown away, appalled and disconcerted just like you. I have never left DS in the car alone out of my view and I don't know anyone who does that. I can see where some of you are coming from though. I too, think calling CPS is probably out of line, but hearing about something like this just makes me want to cry. The little one must have been so scared.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Personally, I wouldn't leave a child in a car by himself or herself, no matter what age, at least until they are teenageres, but I can see how, for example, one of the posteres said she will leave her child sleeping in the car and sit on the porch where near the car. But to leave a child *out of sight* and *out of earshot* and where *strangers could potentially have access* to that child, long enough to sit down and eat lunch and then gab with your friends for a while, all without checking on that child? Absolutely unacceptable and irresponsible parenting. I would have been appalled.


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## Iris' Mom (Aug 3, 2007)

My ex-SIL did this all the time when her kids were smaller. She just couldn't bear to wake them up from their naps, as they were bad sleepers and very out of sorts when they woke up. I think it's dangerous, and I told her so. She left the car running so the heat could be on, so the door was unlocked. I would never do it, nor would I leave my child in the car to run into pay for gas.

Still, I don't think it's a matter for CPS, and I doubt they would intervene. If it happened again, I would personally not hesitate to say how dangerous I thought it was, but that's as far as I'd go.


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## sophiesue2 (Jan 15, 2005)

I think it's a pretty crappy idea to leave the baby unattended in a place you can't hear them. But I don't think it is CPS material.


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## LittlePeanut (Aug 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *glorified_rice* 
OP, I would have been totally blown away, appaled and disconcerted just like you. I have never left DS in the car alone out of my view and I don't know anyone who does that. I can see where some of you are coming from though. I too, think calling CPS is probably out of line, but hearing about something like this just makes me want to cry. The little one must have been so scared.

Me too. The OP made me do this









I can't believe how many posters are responding here. IMO it's NEVER okay to leave a child in a car out of site not even for a second! To say it was a safe residential neighbourhood means nothing. Cars are stolen from these unsuspecting neighbourhoods all the time - Don't be so naive.

The biggest difference, to me, between CIO in a crib and a car is generally you can hear the child in the crib crying but it would not seem this is the case here ALSO, the child is not strapped down to the crib where he/she is in the car. If the child were to vomit from fright he/she could not roll away from it as they could potentially do in a crib. In a car, the likelihood of dying from this choking would be increased too much for my comfort.

I'm personally appalled.

LP


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## delphiniumpansy (Mar 1, 2007)

I was at a park last summer when a mom came and parked her stroller nearby. My friends and I were hanging out and after a while we realized that the stroller, covered in a blanket, contained a crying child. We had not really seen which mom this one belonged to. We had kinda ignored it. So, we go over and uncover the stroller and there is a one year old just wailing. We did not know what to do so we stood nearby and uncovered her completely and hoped someone would notice her. We were discussing whether we should call 911 or not when a woman at the swings, clear across the playground, saw us and started running over. It was her child. She was swinging the older child. After she left, we dissed her completely. We were so close to calling 911 on her. If they had come, she would have had some explaining to do. Someone could have just walked off with her stroller and no one would have paid much attention.

I say never leave a child in a car or anywhere out of your sight for more than a split second. If they are sleeping, go home.


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## sojourn (Oct 8, 2006)

I see both sides of this. One of my kids still sleeps w/me and the other two w/papa.

I can see the sense of triumph w/having them fall asleep in the car. The thing is, I never did well w/that b/c I didn't want to move them but I couldn't leave them. So it was a bad nap b/c I stood there the whole time (so much for relaxing while the baby was chilled out and sleepin). So I stood there too, and waited. and waited and waited. (Don't they always take the mother of all naps in the car seat when you want them up?!).

We don't do cio. We don't like that here. We DO like sleep, however. We encourage sleep!









I think the mama just sounded tired, and proud that the child had finally fallen asleep and didn't think it through beyond the fact that the babe was asleep. She didn't think of all the dangers. She thought of 10 minutes in a row to herself. Cut her some slack, but then, you know, next time you see her, maybe bring it up...wasn't that nap great? Would babe have not stayed asleep in the house, as it was so cold that day? Wouldn't someone else have held the babe if it had woken up? And so on and so fourth.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

See, I think if I described the scenario differently, people would be _much_ less sympathetic.

If I said that I saw my welfare neighbor mom park her baby in a car out of sight and sound while she went inside and hung out with her boyfriend for an hour, people would be calling for her head.

I really think it's the element of empathy here that's causing a different interpretation than usual. This is a middle class, suburban mother at a luncheon with friends. People identify with her.


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## madmacksmommy (May 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LittlePeanut* 
Me too. The OP made me do this









I can't believe how many posters are responding here. IMO it's NEVER okay to leave a child in a car out of site not even for a second! To say it was a safe residential neighbourhood means nothing. Cars are stolen from these unsuspecting neighbourhoods all the time - Don't be so naive.

The biggest difference, to me, between CIO in a crib and a car is generally you can hear the child in the crib crying but it would not seem this is the case here ALSO, the child is not strapped down to the crib where he/she is in the car. If the child were to vomit from fright he/she could not roll away from it as they could potentially do in a crib. In a car, the likelihood of dying from this choking would be increased too much for my comfort.

I'm personally appalled.

LP









:

I have left my kids in the car only to run into the house to grab something. But it was a quick run to get the item left behind.I would never leave my children in the car alone for any extended period of time. I feel so sad for that baby who was obviously very confused and upset.


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## bullfrog (Feb 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
See, I think if I described the scenario differently, people would be _much_ less sympathetic.

If I said that I saw my welfare neighbor mom park her baby in a car out of sight and sound while she went inside and hung out with her boyfriend for an hour, people would be calling for her head.

I really think it's the element of empathy here that's causing a different interpretation than usual. This is a middle class, suburban mother at a luncheon with friends. People identify with her.


While it's probably true that some people reading this would assume that she was middle class and suburban (like you did), I don't think I read anyting about her social status??? What a strange assumption.

and...Ahhhhh - this old chestnut.

I think people don't know better and until it is made clear to them - they think it's alright. I haven't always had the opinion that it wasn't ok - until something happened and I realized that it wasn't ok. I think it would be fine to mention it to her again, just don't expect her to want to be your best friend afterward. But you would be definately doing her a favor weather she likes it or not, she'll have to think twice before she does it again if you say something to her about it. There's no need to tiptoe around it - the same as there is no need to be harsh either - remember that you are a compassionate person before speaking up and speak from your heart and keep it short and sweet.


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## bullfrog (Feb 19, 2003)

Ahhhh!!! I am such an idiot!!! You are the op!!! SHould I just edit?? Naaa - I'm feeling like some humble pie.

Please forget my 1st paragraph - I responded to your post as though you were someone other than the OP. I do mean what I said in the 2nd paragraph. Now I'm just confused about your last post though - what does her social class have to do with it? Not that it doesn't ever come into play - I just don't think that people are making the assumption about her class.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

There were lots of people posting to that other thread who pointed out that it's NOT actually particularly dangerous to leave your child in a car for a few minutes while you run into a convenience store. I don't think this situation sounds terribly dangerous, either, but I do think it's a shame to leave the child alone for so long without checking on her. I've left my kids sleeping in the car many times when I was pretty sure they'd wake up if I tried to move them inside. Usually that's when I'm at home, where no neighbors or people driving by can even see our car (up a long driveway out in the country.) But I check frequently to make sure they don't wake up and get upset because I'm not there. I can't imagine not checking for an hour! But maybe her baby's naps are so predictable that she could be 99% sure she'd stay asleep that whole time. And could it be possible that she HAD gone out to check the baby earlier, and you just didn't notice?


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

I must confess, I feel like I stumbled onto a Parenting forum instead of MDC. I can't imagine, in my wildest of dreams, how a mother could leave her baby alone and unattended to like that. Of course the baby is going to wake up and be terrified. If you were looking out every few minutes and her time awake and frightened was limited, the maybe I could see (but not really, to be honest). But to leave the baby while you eat lunch and sit around chatting it up? That baby could have been screaming for 45 minutes for all we know. It would be very easy for a distraught child that age to vomit and choke while strapped into a carseat. Not to mention the fear and anxiety she must have felt. Which is what really bothers me.


i totally agree, it makes me sick to my stomach.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
See, I think if I described the scenario differently, people would be _much_ less sympathetic.

If I said that I saw my welfare neighbor mom park her baby in a car out of sight and sound while she went inside and hung out with her boyfriend for an hour, people would be calling for her head.

I really think it's the element of empathy here that's causing a different interpretation than usual. This is a middle class, suburban mother at a luncheon with friends. People identify with her.

I think you're right, but I wouldn't say the lack of empathy for a welfare mom would be the correct reaction. The key thing in my mind is whether or not the mother was thinking about her baby's happiness and welfare. I can easily imagine she was, because what she did doesn't sound that different from what I've done many times (except that I check on my kid WAY more frequently than it sounds like she did.) If she thought it over and decided that her baby would be happier left to get a good nap in the car than being woken up before she'd gotten enough sleep, and that the temperature was moderate enough and the neighborhood safe enough, then I can't fault her too much for what she did. We're probably less likely to assume the welfare mother put as much thought into her decision, but is that a reasonable assumption?


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## sojourn (Oct 8, 2006)

yeah, I don't get the socioeconomic status like I do a lapse in judgement. I stand by my original post. Pull her aside *if* you see her again. It does take a village to raise a child and every village has its idiot.


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## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.

I must confess, I feel like I stumbled onto a Parenting forum instead of MDC. I can't imagine, in my wildest of dreams, how a mother could leave her baby alone and unattended to like that. Of course the baby is going to wake up and be terrified. If you were looking out every few minutes and her time awake and frightened was limited, the maybe I could see (but not really, to be honest). But to leave the baby while you eat lunch and sit around chatting it up? That baby could have been screaming for 45 minutes for all we know. It would be very easy for a distraught child that age to vomit and choke while strapped into a carseat. Not to mention the fear and anxiety she must have felt. Which is what really bothers me.

I could not agree with you more. I think you should mention to her the possibility of her dc vomiting and choking in the car seat, she probably never considered that. You might also say that you think it's illegal, she might think twice if there's a chance she'll be arrested for it. And of course someone could steal the car, but she must have thought of that already.


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## Red (Feb 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Metasequoia* 
I do it all of the time & I'm pretty darned attached. I park in my driveway & if it's warm, I leave the windows down. I don't leave anyone in the car if it's too cold or too hot. I go out every 10 minutes & peek in on them (at this point it's usually always Ds, but Dd2 occasionally konks out too.) I can see my van from the kitchen where I spend most of my time. I don't feel that it's at all risky in my situation & my kids *need* the sleep & I won't risk waking them up by moving them.

I think that this isn't the same as what the OP was talking about. I left me kids in the driveway in our rural area, insight of the kitchen where I'd stay. They were safe and secure, etc.

They were'nt in another neighborhood, other than my own, out of my sight or hearing and left for an extended period of time wothout anyone checking on them.


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## PJJ (Sep 28, 2006)

Seems like many here think this is not neglect. Is it that there is an equation with the car like a crib in the house? The child is unattended, right? Seems like many are disconnected with their children and the car seat has become a babysitter.

I would report to CPS, and yes, OP, despite all mentioning what they do/have done, CPS will be interested.

Waiting for the flames, but the OP did ask for opinions, regardless of how unpopular.


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## ChattyCat (Sep 7, 2004)

There have been times that I left dd (about 1 at the time) asleep in the car, while she napped. The car was parked directly in front of a picture window, and I was inside, yet no more than 10 feet from the car. She was in no danger of excessive heat nor cold.

Maybe what the mom did was dangerous; maybe it wasn't. I wasn't there. You were. If it bothered you that much, I would have spoken up more at the time. I don't think it warrants a call to CPS. It sounds like the mom was really stressed out from dealing with a needy child.


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## sojourn (Oct 8, 2006)

Ok, fine. Well, enough. But know it bugged you enough to ask about it. Think about this thread the next time you see her. You don't have to be all piss and vinegar like I am, but you can put out a statement here and there and get your point across. I've made friends and enemies w/my talk (as I'm sure you can gather from my posts), but I've also always gained respect.

IF you have a real bug in your side and it REALLY bugs you, you'll find a nice way to say as much. In the right context, and at the right time.

Don't be afraid to speak your mind. We are women. We *CAN* say anything simply b/c we are. We usually make good sense too, even if only eventually to a blind and deaf audience.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PJJ* 
Seems like many here think this is not neglect. Is it that there is an equation with the car like a crib in the house? The child is unattended, right? Seems like many are disconnected with their children and the car seat has become a babysitter.

I would report to CPS, and yes, OP, despite all mentioning what they do/have done, CPS will be interested.

Waiting for the flames, but the OP did ask for opinions, regardless of how unpopular.









What would you like to see cps do in this situation?


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

I just want to remind everyone to be gentle with each other. I am sure that there are many times that we question how we should have reacted in different situations. Sometimes it helps to bounce it off of other people to help us decide how we would react to a similar situation in the future.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

Speaking for myself, my direct question was about what would be the best way to effect a positive change? I mentioned the two possibilities of speaking with her directly or of frightening her with a CPS visit.

So, that would be what I would expect out of CPS. And unless they found something unexpected and far more sinister at their visit, then I'm sure that would be the extent of their actions as well.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *race_kelly* 
I just want to remind everyone to be gentle with each other. I am sure that there are many times that we question how we should have reacted in different situations. Sometimes it helps to bounce it off of other people to help us decide how we would react to a similar situation in the future.

Rats. I was gearing up for a good cat fight







.


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## alicia622 (May 8, 2005)

blessed- it sounds like your response was exactly the right thing to do. Your reaction upon learning the baby was alone in the car for all the time it took to eat lunch and chat got the mother to go and at least check on her child. She very well may have left the kid there if she was still asleep!

I have left DS in the car but only in the driveway while I run inside to grab something I've forgotten and never with the car running. When he would only nap in the car I would park the car and read, knit or sometimes doze myself! (in the car)


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
Rats. I was gearing up for a good cat fight







.

No, no, no! THat would take some serious gumption.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I am completely appalled at the situation. I think she was incredibly neglectful, and she put her young child in a dangerous situation. There are WAY too many what ifs. There was a mom on MDC who posted a story about how she left her sleeping child in her car while she sat twenty feet away eating or talking or something, and even though she was that close to the baby - someone took her baby out of the car and went into the store with her. People her ate her up and spit her out. I find this situation so much worse. In my quiet, suburban, "nice" neighborhood we had someone run into the tree across the road and someone run into the neighbor's mailbox - they could have very easily run into a parked car on the road. Actually it happened a few streets over - someone hit a parked car and then drove off. No one heard it happen even though it was in a heavily populated area. What happens if a pedophile lives nearby? What if it gets hotter or colder outside than what you realize? It happens here all the time. What if the child gets sick? What if the child wakes and tries to get out of the carseat and gets herself into a painful situation? What if, what if, what if..... I can guarantee you that if a police officer had seen a very young child like that left in the car, the parents would have been arrested. At my child's preschool, the director has told people to never leave their children unattended (even in the parking lot for a couple of minutes) because it is *wait for it* AGAINST THE LAW!. I think that you could call the police and ask them what the law says specifically - then you can tell this mom. I'd be willing to bet - a lot - that you'll be able to tell her that it is against the law.


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## apple_dumpling (Oct 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I'm trying to wrap my head around some of the inconsistencies I'm seeing. How is that leaving your sleeping child in a locked car parked in full view as you run in a convenience store to buy milk is dangerous. Yet leaving a child strapped into a chair, out of sight or hearing, for an hour while you socialize it just okay.



I have to agree with this - I'd be much more comfortable leaving dd in the car somewhere for just a few minutes while I ran to get something and I could see her (gas station, bank, whatever) than leaving her out of sight for a long period of time. It doesn't sound like the lady in the OP was checking on her much... which is what would concern me.

I certainly don't think it's CPS worthy though - just sounds like the mama is a bit disconnected from that child.


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## baileyandmikey (Jan 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
I agree with you 100%! I absolutely think this mother was neglecting her child by doing what she did (as you described the situation).

Whether or not the child woke up would not have changed my opinion of the situation. It was outrageous to say the least. She should know better. She couldn't clearly hear or see her child.

What would have happened if someone stole the car? Or the baby woke up right after she got in the house (happened in this circumstance)?

I too agree. I can't imagine leaving my child in the car in my drive way or anyone elses. That is just my own opionion, but I can not see someone keeping their eye on thier car 100% of the time while thier child slept in there. Oh well... we all have our own opinions.


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## Writerbird (Jun 1, 2007)

Getting CPS to create a file on this woman (and that file is forever even if they decide to take no action) for being a dumbass is so wildly out of proportion that my head hurts.

She's a dumbass who should have parked the car where she could see it. Her judgment was poor. The OP reacted perfectly (got across that it was not a good thing to do, suggested bringing the child inside) with excellent judgment.

Calling CPS would have been pure spite.


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## barose (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ColoradoMama* 
I am completely appalled at the situation. I think she was incredibly neglectful, and she put her young child in a dangerous situation. There are WAY too many what ifs. There was a mom on MDC who posted a story about how she left her sleeping child in her car while she sat twenty feet away eating or talking or something, and even though she was that close to the baby - someone took her baby out of the car and went into the store with her. People her ate her up and spit her out. I find this situation so much worse. In my quiet, suburban, "nice" neighborhood we had someone run into the tree across the road and someone run into the neighbor's mailbox - *they could have very easily run into a parked car on the road.* Actually it happened a few streets over - someone hit a parked car and then drove off. No one heard it happen even though it was in a heavily populated area. What happens if a pedophile lives nearby? What if it gets hotter or colder outside than what you realize? It happens here all the time. What if the child gets sick? What if the child wakes and tries to get out of the carseat and gets herself into a painful situation? What if, what if, what if..... I can guarantee you that if a police officer had seen a very young child like that left in the car, the parents would have been arrested. At my child's preschool, the director has told people to never leave their children unattended (even in the parking lot for a couple of minutes) because it is *wait for it* AGAINST THE LAW!. I think that you could call the police and ask them what the law says specifically - then you can tell this mom. I'd be willing to bet - a lot - that you'll be able to tell her that it is against the law.


(Bold) this is exactly what happened to a friend. She was notorious about leaving her young children in the car while she "ran to grab something". An elderly man forgot to put his parking break on (on a hill) and the car rolled down the hill and hit the parked car with the children in it- which was in the driveway. A "quick" run in the house turned into 10 minutes. The cops showed up knocking on her door to let her know the car was hit with two of her young screaming kids inside (1 and 3 years), neighbors surrounding the car and another cop trying to get the door open.

Of course I tried to warn her about the dangers of leaving her kids being left in the car, but of course I don't know what the h*ll I'm talking about; being childless and all.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I used to do this, but with my van parked in my own garage, windows rolled down, and the kitchen door open so I could hear them, lol. This woman intentionally ignoring her baby







What if she got snotty from screaming and choked on it???







I did that as a baby, but I was in my crib so my mom heard something was wrong and came in to knock the snot outta me (turn me upside down and wack me on the back).


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I think it is really disturbing. Not the leaving the child in the car part, but leaving the child out of earshot and then not checking on her until she was screaming. Awful! I don't know what you should *do* but ITA that it is really bad, bad parenting.


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ColoradoMama* 
I am completely appalled at the situation. I think she was incredibly neglectful, and she put her young child in a dangerous situation. There are WAY too many what ifs. There was a mom on MDC who posted a story about how she left her sleeping child in her car while she sat twenty feet away eating or talking or something, and even though she was that close to the baby - someone took her baby out of the car and went into the store with her. People her ate her up and spit her out. I find this situation so much worse. In my quiet, suburban, "nice" neighborhood we had someone run into the tree across the road and someone run into the neighbor's mailbox - they could have very easily run into a parked car on the road. Actually it happened a few streets over - someone hit a parked car and then drove off. No one heard it happen even though it was in a heavily populated area. What happens if a pedophile lives nearby? What if it gets hotter or colder outside than what you realize? It happens here all the time. What if the child gets sick? What if the child wakes and tries to get out of the carseat and gets herself into a painful situation? What if, what if, what if..... I can guarantee you that if a police officer had seen a very young child like that left in the car, the parents would have been arrested. At my child's preschool, the director has told people to never leave their children unattended (even in the parking lot for a couple of minutes) because it is *wait for it* AGAINST THE LAW!. I think that you could call the police and ask them what the law says specifically - then you can tell this mom. I'd be willing to bet - a lot - that you'll be able to tell her that it is against the law.

I agree. There are so many things that could have gone wrong with a baby left alone in a car for an extended period of time. That mama is lucky that nothing serious happened. Doesn't mean the next time she'll have such a good outcome. It makes me wonder what else she condones.
I'm appalled at a mother who would leave her child in a car out of sight while she was eating and socializing with her friends. If that were a friend of mine I would have give an earful. Come to think of it I don't think any friend of mine would do that.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

My mom ran into the house to grab something once, leaving my brother and I in the car. The parking brake was not on, and we rolled backwards into the road. Luckily, we lived in the middle of a cul-de-sac, so no traffic. But if that had happened on my street, where there is heavy traffic, the kids in the car would be dead or injured.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

OP you never mentioned exactly how long it was before she checked on the child??

I have on occasion ran into places and left the kids but it took less than a minute and I could see them the whole time. But to leave a child who could have very well been awake the whole time or woke just shortly after the mom shut the car door it just makes me very sad to think how much she could have been crying







:

My dd was a pretty bad to throw up if she cried for very long and did that once while we were driving, I wasnt at a spot were I could pull over. And she got strangled







I was able to stop shortly after that and got her breathing good again but had I not been there.....









I am not sure what I would do in this situation other than what you initally did by saying something. I would have probably ran out to the car right away and checked on her and not left till mom came and got her.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

Now this is the MDC I know and love.

I'm still scratching my head over all the replies by mamas who seemed to think this was no big deal.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Writerbird* 
Getting CPS to create a file on this woman (and that file is forever even if they decide to take no action) for being a dumbass is so wildly out of proportion that my head hurts.

She's a dumbass who should have parked the car where she could see it. Her judgment was poor. The OP reacted perfectly (got across that it was not a good thing to do, suggested bringing the child inside) with excellent judgment.

Calling CPS would have been pure spite.









: I have left all three of mine in the car while sleeping when the car was parked in our drive way with me (or dh) sitting outside waiting for them to wake up. Always in earshot and view and the mistake the woman in the op made was having her child out of view and earshot imo.


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## tracymom (Mar 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sojourn* 
It does take a village to raise a child and every village has its idiot.









Oh, sojourn, this is so quotable!!!


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Yeah I think the completely out of site and earshot are the points that are really disturbing. I don't think it's a big deal to leave a sleeping child in the car if you can see / hear him but obviously she couldn't based on how upset the child was upon finally being retrieved.


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## `guest` (Nov 20, 2001)

When the kids were really small, on a mild day, I might leave them out for a minute while I peered through the window at them...maybe.

Last year a dad left his young son in the car, and was in a friend's house (this is in MT) when he came back his son was gone. His son had climbed into a septic tank and drowned, which they didn't find out about until a day later. So yeah, be careful!


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

I can't imagine ever being comfortable with leaving my kids in the car. I mean, I'm sure that day may come, you know...when they're 14.







But really, I can remember being left in the car all the time as a young child. Even up to age 11 or 12, I hated it. If I was left in the car sleeping, I'd wake up feeling disorientated and then terrified, sometimes in a strange parking lot and having no idea where my mother was. If I was just left in the car while my mother went to the store, or - more often than not - went in somewhere to have a coffee, I'd get totally anxious, wondering when she'd be coming back. Hah, it probably contributed in some way to the major anxiety issues I have now, when DH steps into the grocery store and I stay in the car with the kids (which I hate doing, and only EVER agree to do if one of the kids is fast asleep) and freak out if he takes longer than I expected him to.

Obvious safety issues aside, I think it just plain sucks to leave your kid in the car, if you're putting them in a situation where they may wake up and be alone and scared for 5, 10, 30 minutes? Yikes.


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## Bearsmama (Aug 10, 2002)

I do this fairly often with my usually non-napping 3+ year old. And I also did this with my older son. Our driveway is right off our front porch. If it is warm out, or if I know the car is still warm, I will leave him in the car while sleeping. Today I did it while I stacked firewood (the wood is right in front of the car). I am an attached mama, and I think it is perfectly safe to do this in your own driveway. Ours, btw, is very close (think 6 feet from the front door) to our house. Windows look out into the backseat and I leave the front door open if he's sleeping and I have to run in and pee or something like that.

I am not a kid-in-the-car any other place kinda gal (it is also illegal to do this in PA in a store or whatever). I am incredulous, however, when I see people do this out front of our local convenience store, bank, Starbucks, etc.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

Having a baby (now toddler) who thinks of naps as sheer torture, I can somewhat understand the impulse to leave the sleeping child. I don't feel comfortable leaving her in the car for more than the 10 seconds it takes to retrieve my cell phone. I do know one AP mom that does it regularly though. I think suggesting it is dangerous is OK, calling CPS not so much.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
Now this is the MDC I know and love.

Sometimes you gotta dig a little to find it...


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## clane (Aug 5, 2005)

I keep books in the car for this very purpose. Cranky toddler falls asleep in car on a pleasant day, Yippee!! This mama is going to open doors of the van and pull out the book. If siblings are with us, then send DS in to grab a bottle of bubbles, or pull out the scooters from the garage and let them play out front. I have even opened the doors and then stood out front and pulled weeds from the yard while she napped.

BUT--go inside or in the back yard and out of the sight of the car/van and leave a sleeping child alone in a car?! WTF was she thinking?! I just can not condone that on any level. I don't care if it's in an exclusive gated community patrolled with armed guards, standard suburbia USA or smack dab in crime central; it's just irresponsible and lazy IMO.


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## Mama Dragon (Dec 5, 2005)

I do it, but no way like that...I sit at my computer with the window open that is in full view of my minivan, that also has it's sliding door open, parked far into my driveway. It's actually closer then if they were in bed. I wouldn't be friend's with someone who showed that little caring for her kid. Seriously, couldn't she have told you, let's sit outside, my kid is asleep?


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## clane (Aug 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Nikki~* 
I can't imagine ever being comfortable with leaving my kids in the car. I mean, I'm sure that day may come, you know...when they're 14.









Nahh--then you have to worry that they may want to practice their driving skills. Acck! My DS is 9 now and I am breaking into a cold sweat thinking of the teen years!


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## Bearsmama (Aug 10, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Synthea™* 
I do it, but no way like that...I sit at my computer with the window open that is in full view of my minivan, that also has it's sliding door open, parked far into my driveway. It's actually closer then if they were in bed. I wouldn't be friend's with someone who showed that little caring for her kid. Seriously, couldn't she have told you, let's sit outside, my kid is asleep?









: We have had our kids fall asleep on the way to a party or something like that and we nudge them awake when we get there. We do this in our own driveway, and I can pull way up into my driveway (it's very private). Like Synthea said above, the car is closer than if they were in their bedroom. I think this can sometimes be fine line.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

I think the responses are not what you expect because even in our online community here of mostly ap parents, many wonderfully attached, attentive, responsible parents disagree that leaving a child out in a car safely parked in their driveway, or even to run up to the atm is fine. I am one of those.
What is super concerning to all of us here, and unfortunately not concerning to most mainstream parents, is leaving a baby alone to cry. It all goes along with the disrespect of children that many people have. The mother probably thought nothing of it, because she most likely leaves her in her crib to cry just as well.







So, while the car thing is not as disturbing to some, the cio is. I am not sure though how she justified leaving her baby parked at someone else's home without even checking on her...not for cio sake, but for safety sake.








It also sounds like she maybe has a slightly higher needs 1yo in comparison to her 4yo and so in exasperation she just neglects her emotional needs and declares to everyone that she is "grumpy".









ETA: I would have pointed out to her that leaving her baby in a strange driveway to wake up alone and then cry for an unknown amount of time probably wasn't likely to make her less "grumpy".







:


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## ollineeba (Apr 12, 2005)

That poor child.
I think it would be terrifying to wake up and not know where everyone went.
I've never left my kids alone in the car even for a minute.. if my toddler fell asleep and I didn't want to move her, I'd sit and read a book or something. So many things can happen in 'just a minute'








I've seen others do this IRL a few times, but it just boggles my mind..


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

That poor child.








I can't imagine how scared that little baby was, waking up in the car all alone.


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## Kodama (Sep 26, 2007)

I feel horribly for the child.

However, I think the mother's behavior is a sign of a much deeper problem like PPD or something along those lines.

A disconnect with an infant and that sort of behavior seems to me like some sort of cry for help.

The whole situation sounds very sad.

Is there a way you could perhaps reach out to the mom? Perhaps she needs some support and some help?


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## Rhiannon Feimorgan (Aug 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
I think the responses are not what you expect because even in our online community here of mostly ap parents, many wonderfully attached, attentive, responsible parents disagree that leaving a child out in a car safely parked in their driveway, or even to run up to the atm is fine. I am one of those.
What is super concerning to all of us here, and unfortunately not concerning to most mainstream parents, is leaving a baby alone to cry. It all goes along with the disrespect of children that many people have. The mother probably thought nothing of it, because she most likely leaves her in her crib to cry just as well.







So, while the car thing is not as disturbing to some, the cio is. I am not sure though how she justified leaving her baby parked at someone else's home without even checking on her...not for cio sake, but for safety sake.








It also sounds like she maybe has a slightly higher needs 1yo in comparison to her 4yo and so in exasperation she just neglects her emotional needs and declares to everyone that she is "grumpy".









ETA: I would have pointed out to her that leaving her baby in a strange driveway to wake up alone and then cry for an unknown amount of time probably wasn't likely to make her less "grumpy".







:

I agree with this.


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## annalaura (Jan 20, 2007)

i could never leave my little guy in the car alone. there's just too many things that can happen. i could see how it could be convenient in some cases,but personally the well-being and safety of my child is far more important. i would rather him wake up than me go outside to discover that he's awake and scared,or that someone has kidnapped him/stolen the car. you just never know. there are crazy people out there,anything can happen.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Chances are the law reads similarly where you are as to what it does here in California... I looked it up, it says: "A parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for a child who is 6 years of age or younger may not leave that child inside a motor vehicle without being subject to the supervision of a person who is 12 years of age or older, under either of the following circumstances:
(1) Where there are conditions that present a significant risk to the child's health or safety.
(2) When the vehicle's engine is running or the vehicle's keys are in the ignition, or both."

Thing is, point (1) is a catch-all, and is up to the discretion of the authorities who cite for the infraction. Even if she didn't think there were conditions that present a significant risk to the child's health or safety, a police officer might not agree with her.

A lot of moms have posted "I've done this..." and then go on to explain that they didn't do THIS; they did something else. Yes, it's one thing to leave your child asleep in the car. It's another to leave them completely UNATTENDED, no matter where they are. To my mind, the situation the OP laid out is no different than leaving a one-year-old asleep in a crib while you go next door to have coffee and chat with the neighbors for a while... except that (a) child is not in their own home; (b) cars are movable; (c) even if it's only 50 degrees out, a car in the sun that's the wrong color can get quite warm inside, and could (on top of the distress) lead to actual health problems.

So, yeah. I've left my son sleeping in the car while I dashed into the house, peed really fast, grabbed a snack, and went back out to sit in the front seat and wait for him to finish his nap. I've even reclined the seat and taken a nap myself, and I've done this in public places too (with the doors locked of course). Once, we even went down the hall to a lunch date with our next-door neighbors while our son was sleeping... BUT, we verified that the monitor worked over that range and took it with us. As soon as we heard him stirring, we went down the hall and got him so he could join the party.

It's not "OMG the CHILD was in the CAR!" It's "OMG the CHILD was completely and totally UNATTENDED for a good long time!" It's only vaguely relevant that it was in the car, IMO.

All that being said, I think there's not much else to do about *this* event. Now, if she comes over to your house again, and does the same thing again, what I'd do is say "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with that. We can all sit outside where we can see and hear the child, or you can bring her in." Your house, your rules.


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## PJJ (Sep 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
Now this is the MDC I know and love.

I'm still scratching my head over all the replies by mamas who seemed to think this was no big deal.

Blessed, I certainly do and I have professionally called CPS for this very thing, as it is AGAINST the law in Maryland...

Now that I am not working professionally, I call the police when I see it and I see it about twice a year (in all sorts of weather).

Peace to you all.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ironica* 
A lot of moms have posted "I've done this..." and then go on to explain that they didn't do THIS; they did something else.

Thank you for saying this! That's all I've been able to think as I've read this thread -- people keep saying, "I've done this, but my driveway is 6 feet from the front door/I went out to check on her every 2 minutes/I sat on the porch with a book and watched her/I watched her through the kitchen window/etc."

It's like when you're wearing a black-and-white striped shirt and someone says, "Oh, I have that shirt, but it's blue and green, and has polka dots instead of stripes." So ... you have a totally different shirt? Okay...


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## LolaK (Jan 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hillymum* 
I've done the same thing, but hooked up a baby monitor so that I would hear ds the moment he wakes up. Next time you see this mom and she has left her dc asleep in a vehicle could you suggest such a thing?

This is the only sensible suggestion I have seen so far.


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