# grief morphing into regret about D&C



## seafox (Dec 2, 2006)

I am totally second-guessing my decision now to have a D&C. The ob/gyn made it sound like the risks were 'rare', and also that miscarrying at home for me (since I had not given birth, this was my first pregnancy) would be so painful and difficult that I might end up needing a D&C anyway. But the more I read about scarring and D&C's, and how it happens to such a high percentage of people is just worrying me. The stories of folks who have had one and then had to get surgery eventually to remove adhesions. I know, google is the enemy.

Its just that my gut on the phone w/ her said "no surgery! take the pills" but I was afraid I guess to go through labor for a miscarriage, and she was really pushing that it would have been hard to do. But I think I could have done it, and then if I had conceiving issues after, at least I know its not because of scarring.

I wasn't that far along (7.5w) but I was at 12w, my body having missed it, and I wonder if that makes inducing it more difficult? That is what she seemed to imply but I haven't been able to find why that would be, I'm not sure if things are actually 'bigger' or not, the baby certainly isn't, but maybe the placenta?

I am just afraid that I made a choice that compromised my fertility, that I didn't have to do, and I really want to be able to have a child. (it was my first pregnancy)

I think I am panicking more since my uterus is shaped oddly (retroverted and retroflexed) and I just wonder how you could clear that out blindly (without an u/s) without damaging the lining. This month of waiting before I can try to conceive again is hard, but now each month if we don't conceive Ill wonder if its because of this choice I made. I conceived so easily before this, and now I feel like my ability to do that is so up in the air, due to having a miscarriage (something I couldn't control) but then also this choice (which I could have done differently!)

it doesn't help that the last few days I think a reaction to the doxycycline they put me on has made my intestines go totally crazy - my colon is all distended, I'm having terrible intestinal cramps, so it just feels like my insides have been messed up.

I've been drinking rasberry leaf tea, taking my prenatals still, some dong quai tea as well, is there anything else I can do to ensure that my uterus heals properly? I know some docs prescribe estrogen to help, I wonder if I should ask for that. I worry that because of its shape its even more likely to have scar tissue adhere from one side to the other (since its already folded over a bit)


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## astar326 (Jul 5, 2007)

i'm so sorry for your loss. i don't have the answers to your questions, but i can relate. i just experienced a m/c in the end of June and since it was very early into the preg. they let me do it naturally. however my hcg level just shot up and i may need a d&c anyway.


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## Sophiasmomma (Jun 16, 2004)

Im sorry for your loss

I just had a D&C last month I was 13 weeks along baby died at 12 I had no clue







my Dr used a US machine while the d&c was happening
anyways yes there are risks . But Ive read many stories of Mamas "going naturally" and still needing a d&C to get the rest of the tissue out. I was really afraid to have the d&C for exactly what you said but I waited a week labor began and i freaked out.
From all the "stats" Ive read online and talking to drs friends and family seems that scarring" happens about 20% of the time and many times can be fixed.

Its tough to not worry but try and NOT stress to much because stress can affect TTC... (i should follow my own advice







) HUGs to you Mama


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## seafox (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sophiasmomma* 
Im sorry for your loss

I just had a D&C last month I was 13 weeks along baby died at 12 I had no clue







my Dr used a US machine while the d&c was happening
anyways yes there are risks . But Ive read many stories of Mamas "going naturally" and still needing a d&C to get the rest of the tissue out. I was really afraid to have the d&C for exactly what you said but I waited a week labor began and i freaked out.
From all the "stats" Ive read online and talking to drs friends and family seems that scarring" happens about 20% of the time and many times can be fixed.

Its tough to not worry but try and NOT stress to much because stress can affect TTC... (i should follow my own advice







) HUGs to you Mama

I am so sorry for your loss. Finding out at 12w was definitely a bit shocking, though looking back I had some clues, since I had never been pregnant before I had no idea how to read it. My nausea stopped right when the baby died, at 7.5w. Next time Ill be probably paying way too much attention to that.

That is good though that the doc used an u/s while doing it, that only has to minimize any risk. I don't think my doctor did that, maybe since the development had stopped so much earlier. It would have made me feel better though.

I didn't bleed right after, but starting a week later I am passing a few clots at least w/ each bowel movement. Not sure if that is good or bad. I just wish my intestines would go back to normal - that's not helping the feeling that I did something traumatic to my insides.

20% seems like a lot I guess to me! 1 in 5? that's the same stats of having the miscarriage in the first place. I think that's what confused me - she's telling me its a common occurrence, the miscarriage, but then the risk of the D&C is low, when its the same percentage!

All I can do is worry this month, Ill try and get it all out so that when I start TTC next month I'm a bit more relaxed. Its just that I got pregnant so easily before, if I don't now there are so many variables that have changed, and it'll be hard to pin down whether it was the D&C, or hormones being messed up after a m/c, or stress from thinking about either of those options !

what can I say, I am a scientist. I only like varying one variable at a time.

If it happens again (lets hope not) Ill try and do it naturally though, I do read that with 2 or more D&C's it is much more likely it might affect fertility. But I may not be able to avoid it depending on how my body handles it I guess.

I just feel like I waited to long to try to have a kid - I am not that old, almost 32, but I could have tried a few years earlier. I don't want to have this process take until I am 35! Everyone else I know just decided to have a kid and had no problems (I have 5 friends, who are all around my age, three just had kids, two currently pregnant, and due around when I was due)

It makes me feel like such an outlier, even though this is supposed to be really common.

anyway, thanks for replying, this board helps that outlier feeling a lot.


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *seafox* 

I wasn't that far along (7.5w) but I was at 12w, my body having missed it, and I wonder if that makes inducing it more difficult? That is what she seemed to imply but I haven't been able to find why that would be, I'm not sure if things are actually 'bigger' or not, the baby certainly isn't, but maybe the placenta?

I think it's possible the placenta would grow once the pregnancy was "over" but the rate of growth would slow and eventually stop. My first loss was a blighted ovum where there is really no baby, just an empty sac and presumably a placenta since that's what makes the HCG (I think?) My number were rising nicely early on but ultrasound showed empty sac. Went back 2 weeks later and it was confirmed nothing was going to develop - numbers had continued to rise, though not so steeply. I don't know if they had stopped and started to go back down or simply slowed.

For a 7 1/2 week loss - based on my experience, at least - losing it at that stage would not have been too bad physically. (I have had 3 losses... my doctors always prescribed narcotic pain relievers but while I took them for the happy buzz I really didn't need them for the pain)

But since it was 12 weeks and your body still hadn't accepted the loss, it may well have been the right thing to go ahead with the D&C.

My 3rd loss was around 8 weeks and taking the pills didn't work - I took 3 doses! it took 3 weeks after the loss was confirmed to pass what appeared to be a small placenta (about the size of a big grape, solid, definately not a normal clot) and then I had bleeding off and on for 2 more months before passing a clot the size of an orange and having things finally wrap up and come to a close. It was hideous... and a D&C would have wrapped things up so much faster.

I understand your concerns over the risks. We'd all like things to be zero risk. But even though 20% isn't as good as zero... it's still not so bad. Lots of women have D&Cs and go on to have children just fine. The odds are very much in your favor that, barring other obstacles to conception, you will be one of them.

I hope you find that to be the case very quickly!


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