# I dream of my ex-boyfriend when I'm pregnant



## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

Anyone else? I know this is freakish and it really upsets me. I end up being a grouch for the entire next day. Feeling kindof melancholy. The dreams are always somewhat unsatisfying... like I am left wanting more of something.
Ex and I broke up more than 10 years ago. I've had no contact with him since about 8.5 years ago. We had a very intense relationship for 4 years and the breakup was very hard.
I wonder if pregnancy causes to me go through all the "might have beens" and wonder how my life may have gone different directions or something. I am not unhappy with my life... I just wonder why when I'm preggo do I dream of another man?
My dh would be mortified. I have no one to talk to about this. It's kinda a touchy subject. It's happened with all three of my pregnancies.


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## SortaCrunchy (Nov 24, 2005)

Me, too! In the past week, I have had two very intense, very involved dreams about one particular ex. I did have many dreams about him when I was pregnant with #1, too! Weird! Maybe you are right - our pregnant brains are working through some issues we only *think* we have resolved. Who knows? I also could never/would never talk to DH about these dreams. I mean, they are only dreams . . . but still. Just not a conversation I want to have right now.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Whenever I'm pg I dream about my exes and even people I used to have crushes on.


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## ~minnow~ (May 25, 2006)

Wow. I'm really glad you mentioned this, because it happened to me, too. I've dreamed about two exes. Esp about the Main Ex, the one with whom I had a great, intense, long relationship and with whom I'm still friendly, every once in a while.

It made me feel guilty, the dream about him. I even got turned on! It didn't feel like a dream of regret, exactly, or even, really a might of been. Though sort of... there are things about that ex I miss, or that I value say. The dream was friendly and pleasant, somehow, like I was glad for what I'd gotten from that part of my life, but seemed so intimate for a preg. dream. Anyway, I was sort of disturbed by it too, not sure what to make of it. It's interesting to hear that others have gone through this, too.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I have been really enjoying mine for the past few weeks! Super sexy!

I've been dreaming of the guy I had a major case of the hots for, until I learned he had a live in girlfriend, and she became my best friend.

One night we were hanging out, getting drunk. Girlfriend/best friend was out of town. At about 3:30am I noticed him giving me "the look" and I chose to ignore it and went home.

Now I have been reliving that night quite vividly in my dreams, only my dream self doesn't go home!

*Sigh* If only real life (right now) was that sexy!


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## supermuma (Dec 12, 2005)

I have had several dreams about my ex-husband/kids dad....and they are not good at all.







, in fact they are very scary







for me. I dream as though I am going through _this_ pregnancy _WITH_ him and all of the horrid things come back with it (he was both emotionally and physically abusive to me)....and when I wake up I am still so scared..you know, those dreams that you don't realize were just dreams for several minutes (that feel like hours!).

Then I feel so good when I realize that it was just a dream. The relief is sooo wonderful.

I am thinking maybe it is because I went through two pregnancies with him...who knows. It may also be me reminding myself that I really need to get my butt in gear and file these adoption papers that I have been working on for several months! (Their dad is giving up rights and my dh is adopting them..)


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## Miny20 (Jun 24, 2004)

I feel you! With my first pregnancy and this one.. I've dreamed BOTH TIMES that the baby was my ex's! I'd wake up all kinds of stressed out!


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## CityChic (Jan 18, 2007)

Yep, this happens to me. If I wake up in the middle of the nite and realize it then I just feel awkward...


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I do this too. Each time I have been pregnant I dream of the guy I was with for three years before my DH. Wild sex dreams too.


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## DoomaYula (Aug 22, 2006)

Yeah, this happens to me too. Last night I dreamed about the most random guy ever -- he was my lab partner when I was a junior in high school and I always had a huge crush on him. I woke up with his name running through my head, and I thought, "Jeez, I haven't thought about him in like 10 YEARS!"


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## meisterfrau (Sep 24, 2005)

When I was pregnant with DD I used to dream VERY often about my semi-unrequited-very-unhealthy-first-love from high school. It was very strange, and I am kind of waiting to see how long it takes for the same thing to happen again this time! Glad to know I'm not the only one!


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## utuss (Sep 12, 2006)

You know, I don't even enjoy going to sleep anymore....lately, all I've been doing is having freaky dreams! (Man, where's the rest involved in sleeping?)

I've had dreams about exes, boys I knew in high school (that is over 12 years ago), some friends of my husband. I take it all with a grain of salt. I have dreams of my husband leaving me, or hurting my feelings, or hooking up with other women....it leaves me drained in the morning but at least they are just dreams....I'd be in big trouble otherwise!


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## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

I've had weird dreams, too, including ones involving friends/boyfriends from the past. It really is weird just because pg dreams are so vivid that it really does feel like it's real - though thankfully none of my dreams have been too bad. They've mostly been either hanging out with these old friends or in a weird one, flirting covertly with someone, and I'm not even sure who it was!! To DH's credit, though, he turns up in dreams like that last one and I get much more interested in him than anyone else!














:


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## koru (Sep 7, 2006)

i have dreams about my very first boyfriend ever....i was only 13 and sex was not even in the picture. i've decided that it doesn't have anything to do with him, per se, but just a memory of a life gone forever. don't you think we mourn the single, free life when we're faced with the huge responsibility of raising a child?


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

oh, I'm so relieved that I am not the only one who goes through this.

Yes, I think there is a huge aspect of mourning what we've lost to become mothers. I'm not saying that being a mother isn't the most fantastic thing ever... but I am saying that I know there is a part of me that misses the person I used to be sometimes. The one who had the body to die for and all the free time in the world. The one who had nothing but prospects in my future. The one who had excess money. The one who men used to look at with interest.
I know of course, that that was the same me who had really low self-esteem, wanted to meet someone special and have children more than anything, etc.

This boyfriend that I dream of... wow... I really gave him my everything and I miss a lot of what we had. But we also had major problems. I remember driving in my car one day and feeling unhappy. I had the exact thought that I could marry this man and be relatively happy for the rest of my life... just the two of us... but that I knew that he would not be someone I would want to be the father to my children. As soon as I knew that I knew that I couldn't stay with him.







: It was the hardest thing I've ever done. His issues, I knew I could deal with to some extent but I wouldn't want children to be in the picture. So I wonder if I think of him most when I'm pregnant because I know that having these children, the desire to be a mother, is what ultimately caused me to lose him. My mind/heart is still struggling with that choice.

I love my husband. He's a fantastic man and a fantastic father. I don't want it to sound like I'm unhappy with him. But our relationship is much stabler, not the intense emotional highs and lows... and a little more mellow. I think I'm missing the thrill of the other right now.

Weird. Hard... Weird.

Luckily, I don't run into ex (only seen him drive by and wave once in all this time even though we live in the same town).


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## kleines (Mar 28, 2007)

Oh my. I am so glad to see that this happens to others too. I was beginning to think I was crazy. -well, I am but on different levels! he he! Pregnancy dreams are interesting!


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## Eaglevoice (Nov 30, 2004)

Yep, me too. Not so much with this pregnancy as with the last one, though. I was constantly dreaming about my ex last time.


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## Jada Mae (Nov 6, 2006)

When I am dreaming about exes it is always sexual. It means nothing about my feelings for hubby. What it means to me is that I need more sex!







And then when I have more sex, the dreams go away.


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## Sonya77 (Feb 20, 2007)

I've been having the same dreams!!! Very strange. All about my last ex. We were together for 3 years, and then I found out he was sleeping with my best friend from middle school. They've been together ever since and she is pregnant with their first (she has a son from a previous marriage) and due 3 weeks after me. Seems like we are still in competition.

I hate having these dreams. I wake up and look at Steve and want to cry; it feels like cheating!!!


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## LittleLlama (Feb 27, 2006)

Most of my dreams have been very frustrating... sexually!!! DH has been working too much and I never get the chance to live the dreams out and just end up kind of








for the rest of the day

A lot of other dreams though have been about my "best friend" in another state. We only were ever friends but people thought we were married. I dreamed about him in a very un-just-friends way and it was so unsettling and wrong.


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## sebarnes (Feb 2, 2005)

Yep, I've had numerous dreams this pregnancy about my ex husband, as well as my first love from HS. Both totally unhealthy, emotionally damaging relationships. All of the dreams involve some sort of sexuality and some sort of real wierdness (like the last one about my exhubby - he and his mom poisoned me with some biological agent that made tiny mushrooms sprout out all over my body!!







) ! I usually tell my DH about them, because, well, they're just dreams, and some of them are pretty darn funny! I actually have lots of bizarre dreams when I'm pregnant.


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## Jess's Mom (Jun 2, 2006)

Thank goodness. I thought I was going a little crazy. I have had many dreams of my first love, we were together only 9 mo in high school, but had promised that we were going to stay together forever. My dreams are never about sex, just missing him and running into him and feeling bad about what I did to him. I see his mom all the time and just last week I ran into him, but it wasn't weird like I thought it would be, we just talked. I guess it is just my way of working through the problems my real life has thinking that if I had stayed with him, my life wouldn't be so crazy. I wake up and am sad the next day. I know it is dumb because I know life wouldn't be great with him either and my husband is a good guy, he just doesn't think about things sometimes and he has given me two step-kids that have complicated everything. It just sucks to be faced with the "what if's" because it makes you think, even if your not "unhappy".

At any rate, glad it's not just me!


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## shugydaddy (Mar 6, 2007)

Apparently, (well, according to my wife) ALL women have strange dreams like this when they're pregnant. I personally didn't know anything about it until I read this post and decided to ask. Bad Idea. The truth seems to bite a little harder than you expect it to. Its not that I'm really concerned. They're just dreams. She said she always tells her persuers "No!" when they try to seduce her. This is just something else for me to pick on her about. Haha. And now I don't have to feel so guilty about those dreams about my exes. All of them. At the same time... Man, this is great! Keep dreamin, ladies. Just don't tell your hubbies....


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## 2bluefish (Apr 27, 2006)

LOL, I always dream about this boy I had a crush on in high school - but for some reason he is somewhat conflated with dh. I guess they are a similar type of guy. I always say if I would have known dh in high school I would have had a crush on him (but wouldn't have dated him because he chewed tobacco - eeew!)


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## Crunchie (Jan 9, 2007)

Me too, me too! But not just with people I've actually known, but with random actors and t.v. personalities who, during waking hours, I have absolutely _no_ attraction to! It's the funniest thing. My most recent dream-time trists have been with Seth Green, Bam Margera, and that dude from the movie Harold and Kumar go to White Castle...I think it's the guy who plays Kumar, he's in that Van Wilder movie the Rise of Taj? Ok, so I admit, the guy from Harold and Kumar, I do think he's kind of cute, albeit way too young for me....but Seth Green? No offense, but, ew. It's always great while I'm dreaming, but I wake up and say "what the *$!# was I _thinking_??"







My husband thinks it's hysterical.


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## 2bluefish (Apr 27, 2006)

And it's not just boyfriends I dream about... things this very conservative Jewish woman would never dream of doing in real life!

Also have all kinds of non-sexual symbolic dreams in pregnancy. Dreamed last night I slept under a giant guava tree in my room at my parent's house - LOL! (I have no idea what a guava tree looks like or if they are giant in anyway...)


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## lunabelly (Jan 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crunchie* 







Me too, me too! But not just with people I've actually known, but with random actors and t.v. personalities who, during waking hours, I have absolutely _no_ attraction to! It's the funniest thing. My most recent dream-time trists have been with Seth Green

Me too! Last night I dreamed I was being seduced by Brad Pitt. He said, "I like a woman with thick thighs."








I don't even like Brad Pitt. Seth Green is more my type!

I also have the dreams about the ex, but they're not sexual. I think it's just because he was there the last time I gave birth, and it was one of our few happy moments.


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## jazzybaby9 (Feb 27, 2007)

Ohmy, I am so glad I'm not the only one dreaming of other men...including exes or old crushes. I always wake up feeling unsatisfied or trapped. Not a good feeling. I'm still young and wanting to explore with new love but now I have a growing baby inside me now. And I need to stay with the father tho we are not married. I'm so stressed...


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

My dreams have been horrible. Some of them about my ex's and crushes and they make me wiggy. Scum! Liars! Betrail! and yet here I was, feeling something again for them.

Feelings... this brings me to a different dream. A boy I take care of was pissing me off in a dream, more so then in normal life. I woke up so upset with him! These feelings have followed me to the real world before, like when I had a dream hubby cheated on me. He never has, never in 8 years been anything but wonderful. Yet here I was upset with him.

Those feelings do not want to go away when I wake up. Sometimes they follow me around all day long even though I know the logic of it all.

The dreams are surfice BS I think, but the feelings, those seem real though based on BS. See what I am saying? Sounds nuts to me! LOL

So maybe I am nuts after all.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Jenns_3_babies (May 26, 2006)

why do we do this? This is the only pg that I've had dreams, prolly 1-2 every week about my ex from over 12 yrs ago! He was my 1st love and a part of my life for 5 yrs, but still. My dreams aren't anything sexual or anything, sometimes past memories of us, or strange ones like I'll go anywhere and do anything to see him again. The other night I dreamt that I rode my bicycle to one of the carolina's (can't remember), and I live in PA!

If my DH ever knew about this, oh god, I don't know how he'd react. I really never talked too much about him, maybe not at all.

I feel so guilty although I can't control it!!


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