# Doctor telling me to put my baby in crib!



## Kylad (Jun 16, 2007)

Hi I went to my baby's doctor today and when I mentioned my ten week old was sleeping in bed with my husband and I she told me that the sids rates were higher and tried to tell me he needed to sleep in his crib. She went on and on about how it would be harder to get him out of my bed and was telling me I needed to just make him go to sleep in his crib, how in th #$%! are you supposed to make him go to sleep?! I am not the type of person that can just leave my baby in his crib to cry himself to sleep. I don't understand why she thinks he should be in a crib. Any way I'm ranting. I really just wanted to know if the chances of sids where actually higher when he sleeps with us.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

There are no studies showing that SIDS is higher in cosleeping infants. There IS research that shows that sleep patterns in cosleeping infants are less likely to fall into a dangerously deep sleep that could result in SIDS.

Dump the dr.

-Angela


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

I don't have links, but I'm sure some of the ladies here will chime in soon with some







I do know that it is safer statistically to cosleep *safely*. Hence the term crib death, not bed death. Having the baby near you reminds the baby to breath because they are hearing you breath. You are right there if something happens, for us cosleeping saved our sanity, we didn't have to worry about Kailey choking on her own vomit, I heard her every move, breath etc.. The rewards are great bonding wise!!

Don't let the doc's bully you, I am a first time mom and thought I must be doing something wrong, and trusted every word the doc's said. Until they mentioned CIO. I was told a few months ago that Kailey would never sleep throught the night because since I'm not letting her CIO she'll never learn how to self soothe, She slept through the night last night ( I can't wait to rub that one in







) You are doing a great job with your new baby hun!!!


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## crnnoel (May 23, 2007)

Only you know what's best for your baby - if it's sleeping in bed with you, or in a crib, that's up to you to decide. Doctor's are there to give medical advice, not parenting advice... I hate it when they try to tell me how to be a parent and raise my son!
Just remember - you are the mamma and you know best


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## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

I think a doctor that gives parenting advice is sort of like a car mechanic that tries to tell me where to drive!


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## crnnoel (May 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ann-Marita* 
I think a doctor that gives parenting advice is sort of like a car mechanic that tries to tell me where to drive!









:

I love how you phrase that!!


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## DBassett (May 15, 2007)

Hmmm, I've read (can't remember where or I'd link you) that cosleeping LOWERS the risk of SIDs. I'd be switching docs. A Dr has no right to tell you how to parent.


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## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

Dead wrong.

Find another dr.


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## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

Hmmm, I had a Physician's Asst. ask me whether I wanted a LIVE baby or a DEAD baby when I told him we co-sleep. I found a new Doctor soon after because of that and the fact that they were not intact friendly.


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## onyxravnos (Dec 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *attachedmamaof3* 
Dead wrong.

Find another dr.









:

That's all that needs to be said.


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ann-Marita* 
I think a doctor that gives parenting advice is sort of like a car mechanic that tries to tell me where to drive!










That sentence is sig-worthy.


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

That doctor has no idea what she's talking about. SIDS rates are lowered by cosleeping. Your baby is in the perfect (and safest) place- with you.
ITA wiith pp's- find a new doctor.


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## sarbear (Mar 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
There are no studies showing that SIDS is higher in cosleeping infants. There IS research that shows that sleep patterns in cosleeping infants are less likely to fall into a dangerously deep sleep that could result in SIDS.

Dump the dr.

-Angela









:

Dr.'s are for treatment of serious medical issues, not for giving stupid sleep advice to people who don't need it







:


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## arlecchina (Jul 25, 2006)

dump the dr.

nak, if you need more pm me.

http://www.babyreference.com/Cosleep...SFactSheet.htm


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## lilysmama1124 (Aug 26, 2006)

NO!!! SIDS rates are not higher. Death do occur rarely in cosleeping babies but not from SIDS they occur from unsafe co-sleeping environments (ie. drug or alcohol use leading to parents roll over on child and not knowing, babies getting caught between the bed and the headboard). My pediatrician shocked me when she said she was a cosleeping advocate because so far she has been really mainstream-she said there is no science behind telling parents to put babies in cribs and that it is just a cultural thing!


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## sebandg'smama (Oct 29, 2005)

My dr. said that I would never get my ds out of my bed, I just sweetly responded, "Oh, I think that by the time he wants to bring over a girlfriend or boyfriend, he'll be out of our bed."
The look on her face was priceless!

I switched drs (which is saying a lot, as here in Ontario, it is really hard to find a dr).


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## texasmamaof4 (Sep 26, 2006)

My pediatrician knows about our cosleeping and didn't bat an eye. You need a new doc.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

It's hard to find pediatricians that are totally onboard with our parenting (we had one but we had to move







) and I'd say normally if they were just giving random advice - stop telling the ped anything that isn't related to their medical condition and just ignore any 'parenting' advice the ped gave.

But the fact that she tried to tell you studies show this tells me she didn't really read up on it - the studies do not show this, so I would find a new ped because if she is giving advice and drawing conclusions incorrectly on this, what else is she doing that for?


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## jadzia's_mommy (Jun 9, 2005)

Rubbish! Our ped loves that we co-sleep. He's very cool--I feel super lucky.







:


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## bl987ue (Mar 14, 2006)

Follow your own instincts! If co-sleeping is working for you, go with it.


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## fastyfeet (Apr 13, 2007)

Totally wrong. Co-sleeping reduces the rate of SIDS as previous posters have stated. You should give your ped a copy of Our Babies, Ourselves. It's got a great chapter in there about co-sleeping, backed with lots of research. The sleep researcher your ped should know about is James McKenna.

There is an awesome article on this subject by McKenna in this pediatric chiropractic publication:

http://www.pathwaystofamilywellness.org/backIssues.html

Look at Issue 9. Unfortunately, it's not free but if you want some great facts to share, it's all right there!


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## Ginger6366 (Jul 24, 2006)

My Dr also said my 7mo DS would be better off in a crib, so he could learn to put him self to sleep. I've since then just said he sleeps great. We co-sleep, and I think waking twice in the night without getting out of bed to get him out of his bed is better sleep for both of us.


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## Kylad (Jun 16, 2007)

Thank you all for your advice.
I did switch his doctor and we are now actually going to the doctor I went to as a child and I really liked him. I'm not sure if he supports sleeping with your baby on bed but I'm not going to bring it up, lol I've learned my lesson


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## mamasophy (Mar 15, 2007)

My ped. came into my hospital room and loved it that I had my new baby in the bed! So did the nurses! Check out Dr. James McKenna's Mother-Baby Sleep Lab:

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/


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## Meems (Jan 8, 2007)

I think it really sucks that we mostly have to keep things to ourselves when really we are INFORMED parents and consumers. (like me just avoiding not vaccinating my infant) I am lucky to have a ped that is pretty cool, but when he asks about the baby sleeping, my response is, "We have a co-sleeper." which is true... we have a sidecar co sleeper thing (serves as a nightstand) and a co sleeper baby. he he. Read Peggy O'Mara's article. I think it's in the top links at the top of this forum. I read that early on and never thought twice about snuggling w/ my baby all night long. Everything I read shows the benefits, not the dangers of co sleeping. I cannot imagine doing anything else.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I don't see how it is a doctor's business. My doctor has never asked,


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

Jeez! Again with doctors that don't know how to be doctors! Random memorized facts spewing out of their zombie heads! I think it was in mothering's "A Quiet Place" a few issues back about facts of sleeping in bed vs. sleeping in cribs...

Hold on, I'll find it!

http://www.mothering.com/guest_edito...place/141.html

Print this and give it to your ped, and then find a new one!


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I wouldn't even discuss it with him.


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## princesspennie (Jul 26, 2005)

I tend to try not to disclose more info then a Dr. needs to know about my parenting.
They have to ask all kinds of standard questions.

Mine asked about co-sleeping, which way the car seat faced, if I have pets, where I keep chemicals and cleaners, if I have baby proofed, all kinds of things.

The best one was at my sons 12 month appt, the Ped. asked me if he was clapping I said no. He says it must be because you do not show him how







: I was so Po'd I swore I would never go back..but I still see him because he is a real good Ped. who is gentle, warm and kind to the kids..it is the parents he talks to as though we are all a bunch of idiots.


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## MollyD (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sebandg'smama* 
My dr. said that I would never get my ds out of my bed, I just sweetly responded, "Oh, I think that by the time he wants to bring over a girlfriend or boyfriend, he'll be out of our bed."
The look on her face was priceless!


I will have to use the one if the ped ever says anything about the kids still sleeping in our room. (hey we have made progress.. they are now sharing a full size bed right next to ours).

Molly


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Doctors didn't get their degree in parenting. I refuse to discuss parenting choices with my ped. I go to her for medical advice, not parenting advice.


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## pjabslenz (Mar 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
Doctors didn't get their degree in parenting. I refuse to discuss parenting choices with my ped. I go to her for medical advice, not parenting advice.









:

I've very selective in the info I disclose as well. Not because I need to be but I've just learned some things are better left unaddressed and undiscussed. It's not my job to sway their opinions on issues that I feel strongly about. I know my children & my parenting style.

Yeah, PA's and Peds are packed full of "advice" to share. Way too many mommas are misinformed.







: At my dd's 6month well appointment I was told to start her on rice cereal...I simply told the PA that when she starts solids she'd have avocado or banana since they were whole foods packed with vitamins and nutrients but right now we're sticking with breast milk.

As a first time mom, I sometimes doubted the things I was doing because they went against the mainstream views but once I gave up listening to outsiders and listened to my instincts our life was grand. I have 3 co-sleepers. My oldest chooses to sleep in his bed, my middle and the youngest are still in my bed. My point, Your baby won't be in your bed forever.


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## Yippy! (Jan 2, 2007)

As soon as a doctor starts giving you parenting advice, lose him/her! Their job doesn't include parenting advice! My cousin died alone in a crib from SIDS, my son has special needs (type 1 diabetic) and my instincts have me wake up when he's in danger, I've had a little voice in my head tell me to (I sound loco huh) and I check him and he's very low blood sugar, which could lead to seizures and death.
So if your baby is in danger of SIDS and sleeping right next to you, chances are you'll wake up!


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *princesspennie* 
I tend to try not to disclose more info then a Dr. needs to know about my parenting.
They have to ask all kinds of standard questions.

Mine asked about co-sleeping, which way the car seat faced, if I have pets, where I keep chemicals and cleaners, if I have baby proofed, all kinds of things.

No they don't have to. I haven't been asked anything like that.


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## Momma2SoSweet (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
Doctors didn't get their degree in parenting. I refuse to discuss parenting choices with my ped. I go to her for medical advice, not parenting advice.









:

I mentioned it to my dd's Pedi at her first well-baby that we co sleep. She isn't exactly supportive of it but all she said was "If you want her out of your bed by a year then start getting her to sleep in her own crib by four months." Well, we didn't want her out by a year so I just smiled and nodded and am still happily cosleeping







We just never mentioned it again.

Don't tell your Pedi anything more about your parenting style that isn't relevant. I've never understood why people who are having problems with a baby sleeping or eating solids, for example, and say "Oh, well I'll ask my Ped" because they are _doctors_ that are there for _health_ concerns, not parenting experts to be consulted on your way of parenting.

Your Pedi is wrong. Safe co sleeping is way safer than crib sleeping. Enjoy your snuggly baby.


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