# Flying with baby on lap



## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

Ok so please be gentle...
My in-laws are taking us on vacation next month. My son will be 20 months old. When they booked the plane tickets a few months ago, they mentioned something about him not needing a seat because he's under 2. I didn't think anything of it. We've never flown with him before, and until then I never paid attention to threads about flying with babies because I didn't think we'd be doing it anytime soon (we originally planned on driving).

ANYWAY, so our tickets are booked and he does not have his own seat. We had another issue with my in-laws wanting us to RENT a car seat with our rental car instead of bringing our own (Um no way). Now that I have been reading more about this, I realize that it is safer for him to be in his own car seat on the plane too. So now I am stressing. We don't get along well with them sometimes, so I am unsure if I should approach them about trying to get him a ticket now.

It is a short flight (less than 2 hours each way). I've flown many times before and I never felt turbulance that would even spill my drink, let alone make it difficult to hold my child (I know I know, this doesn't mean it CAN'T HAPPEN - I'm just saying...). Obviously, my first concern is for his safety. I wish I had done more research on this first, but I thought having him on my lap would keep him safer and happier.

Any advice?

Is there a chance, if the flight isn't full, they will let us use the carseat in an empty seat? (Like move my DH to an empty seat elsewhere in the plane so I can have DS in his seat next to me?)


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## WhaleinGaloshes (Oct 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amandaleigh37* 

Is there a chance, if the flight isn't full, they will let us use the carseat in an empty seat? (Like move my DH to an empty seat elsewhere in the plane so I can have DS in his seat next to me?)

Yes. Bring your carseat all the way to the gate and ask right away as you check in if you can be seated next to any empty seat.


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## DeepLakeSwimmer (May 2, 2005)

I don't have a ton of advice but wanted to add that first time we flew with my daughter, she was 7 months at the time, we bought a seat for her and brought her car seat along but it wouldn't fit in the airplane seat. I can't remember what dimentions were wrong, I think maybe it was too long (?) so it was bumping the seat in front but I really don't remember exactly. What I do remember is that we had to gate check it and she rode in my lap...I suppose there's probably some variance between car seats, we were using a standard issue Graco bucket FWIW...Also, I'm not sure what your situation is but my daughter was awake most of the flight and would have been screaming had she not been nursing so in our case the car seat option probably wouldn't have worked anyway.


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## catjw22 (Mar 26, 2008)

We lived in FL for the first 2 years of my son's life and both of our families are in NY. So we've flown a lot.

My advice to you would be this: bring your own car seat and if there aren't any empty seats you can check it planeside. Almost everytime we flew there was an empty seat and they sat us in that row. It was really no biggie and they seemed happy to do it. We never had a problem. And by checking your seat planeside, as opposed to checking it with your luggage, your seat will ALWAYS be there when you get off the plane. I cannot count the amount of times that they "lost" our luggage...imagine if they lost a carseat. Then you'd be stuck. You can buy wheeled bags to use between planes which makes lugging the car seat around much easier.

I also am no stranger to issues with my in-laws. If you can work it into the conversation without causing WW3 it might just be worth inquiring about another ticket. I mean, it doesn't cost anything to investigate what it would cost or if it's even an option, right? But...it depends on your MIL.

They do sell a harness that you can use during takeoff and landing that essentially buckles your baby to you. I'll see what I can dig up on that. ETA--it's called the Baby B'Air and you can find it at One Step Ahead. I am sure other places sell it too.

Good luck.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

Quote:

They do sell a harness that you can use during takeoff and landing that essentially buckles your baby to you. I'll see what I can dig up on that. ETA--it's called the Baby B'Air and you can find it at One Step Ahead. I am sure other places sell it too.

You cannot use this for take off and landing and I think sever turbulance, so it doesn't do much good anyways.

There's not much you can do now unless you want to buy him his own ticket and just not tell them. My kids always have their own seats and we took 3 carseats on the plane last time! I've never had a problem w/ any of them fitting and my almost 3yo (then) even rode rfing in his seat. Definitely bring your own seat (this should not matter to your MIL, it doesn't bother them any and it's cheaper than renting) and try and use it on the plane. If you can't (I've only flown maybe 1 or 2 flights w/ my kids where it would've been totally full), gate check your carseat so it's less handled and has almost no chance of being lost, unlike your luggage.


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## catjw22 (Mar 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thepeach80* 
You cannot use this for take off and landing and I think sever turbulance, so it doesn't do much good anyways.


Oops. Sorry. I guess I remembered it backward...I knew there was only part of the flight that you could use it. I just checked it out again and you can't use it for taxi, takeoff, or landing, but you can use it for turbulence. So...IDK...if you can't get his own seat this might be worth looking into anyway if it would make you feel better for part of the flight. Sorry for the misinfo. Thanks Peach.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

The CARES harness is the one you can use for takeoff and landing, but it requires that the child has their own seat. If they have their own seat it would be much easier (rather than carrying both and checking the seat) to just use your car seat on the plane







Definitely don't rent a car seat.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catjw22* 

They do sell a harness that you can use during takeoff and landing that essentially buckles your baby to you. I'll see what I can dig up on that. ETA--it's called the Baby B'Air and you can find it at One Step Ahead. I am sure other places sell it too.

Good luck.

No, you cannot use it during take off or landing. It's also not particularly safe.

OP, I would call and offer to pay for the cost of the ticket if you think that's going to be problematic. I would never choose to put my child on an airplane without a seat, especially for a leisure trip.


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## snitker79 (Apr 7, 2007)

I have flown with my dd probably 3 times without a carseat. She was 6, 9 and 12 months old. Knowing what I know now about the scary things that can happen in the event that there is severe turbulance or rough landing, I don't know that I would have done so then. But you have to weigh the safety issues, time of flight, cost into the decision to buy an extra ticket.

I definately would have her in a carseat at 12mo because she was mobile by then and very difficult to keep entertained while on a lap. She wanted to get down, stand up and look at everyone ect. As an infant, I don't think she would have done well in the carseat. Like pp said, she was sleeping, nursing mostly during those times and it was so much easier to have her in the ring sling to do so.

Now, I'm getting ready to take another trip this week and my dd is 25mo. So she will be in a carseat (I plan to forward face her even though she still RF in the car) and planning lots of activities. Since your dc is 20, you might be in the same boat as we were at 12 with trying to keep entertained and sedentary on laps.

I wouldn't worry about what the in laws think. It's your decision. Weigh your options and decide what works best for your family. Good luck.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

That's a sticky situation :-/.

Here's what I'd do: get the flight info, if you don't already have it. Contact the airline, find out if there's any seats available, and how much it would be for your under-2 to get their own ticket. Many airlines do half-price for under-2's, and some flights the prices go *down* as the day approaches, because they want to fill those seats if they can. If there are seats available and you have a travel agent you like, see if they can get you a better price.

Reserve, but don't buy, the seat. *Then* tell the in-laws you'd recently run across research about the safety of lap babies on planes, and personal anecdotes about the terrible times people have had keeping mobile toddlers happy without their own seat, etc. etc. so you looked into it and the seat's available. Now... who pays for it? It's possible they'd be insulted if you paid for it without consulting them, I'm thinking, since they're paying for the trip. OTOH, (if you can afford it) you can always pay for it out of pocket if they balk.

Of course, if the flight is already sold out, it's unlikely there will be an empty seat the day of :-/. But it's worth a shot (and you should gate check the carseat anyway as others have mentioned).


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## Friday13th (Jun 13, 2006)

I just wanted to mention something that might be a bit more compelling for the ILs, I just found this out. In cases of turbulence or a rough landing, standard airline protocol is to place lap babies on the FLOOR!!!









I had no idea, and previously was a little skeptical of the whole, bringing a carseat on the plane thing. That totally changed my mind.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Friday13th* 
I just wanted to mention something that might be a bit more compelling for the ILs, I just found this out. In cases of turbulence or a rough landing, standard airline protocol is to place lap babies on the FLOOR!!!









Not just "on the floor," but "wrapped in a blanket and stuffed under the seat in front of you." That way, they don't become projectiles that can injure someone else.









You simply can't hold onto your baby if the forces are somewhat strong. The movie "Fearless" makes this point fairly well, actually. ;-) So, not only is the child in grave danger, but other passengers are at risk as well. Putting them on the floor reduces risk, as they won't be at head/torso level to the others.


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

The chance of extreme turbulence or a rough landing are incredibly rare. Yes, your baby would be safER buckled into a car seat, but the safEST option would be to not fly at all. Having your baby sit on your lap is *not* a huge risk to take. Not as risky as other things that you probably do without thinking twice (my guess is that it's still safer than driving your baby buckled in a car seat in the car).

We've flown twice with our kids. The first time it was with 20-month-old twins and we got them each their own seat. They spent the majority of the flight sitting in my lap, nursing, or walking up and down the aisle (despite having their car seats available). We recently flew with our now 5-year-old twins (each buckled into a radian car seat) and our one-year-old (as a lap baby). I think I would have been more at ease if we'd had a seat for our toddler (it was a similar situation to yours, the tickets were bought for us), but it really was totally fine. We brought his car seat on the plane and put it in the overhead bin so that we didn't have to worry about it being lost or mishandled.

HTH!

Lex


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## meganbarr (Jun 20, 2008)

I went on a 2 hour plane trip with my 2 mo as a lap passenger. On the way home there was an empty seat so I put the carseat in it, but she didnt use it. It is recommended that babies have something to suck on to relieve ear pressure during landing and take off so she nursed during those times anyway. I carried her in a ring sling because I was flying alone and had to carry the diaper bag and car seat. They made me take her out of the ring sling for landing and take off. IMO, if there was huge danger to lap passengers, airlines would make you purchase a ticket for them. There is a limited amount of danger in EVERYTHING including just walking down the street. Sometimes you just have to let it go!


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## acannon (Nov 21, 2007)

We're going to be going to Pittsburgh on Sunday on a plane. There's just going to be two one-hour flights to get there. Is it really necessary for me to have him in a car seat? We'll be bringing one and we'll use it if there's an empty seat, but we weren't able to get a discounted seat and it's just going to be for an hour. I feel kind of nervous about it, but that's mostly because I've only been on a plane once and it wasn't with a baby.


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## Natalie12 (Nov 11, 2005)

I have flown back from Ethiopia with a 15 month old and a 21 month old for both of my kids' adoptions. We couldn't afford the $1500 seats so they were both on our laps. I was fine, and this was a 15 hour trip. You can do it1


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meganbarr* 
IMO, if there was huge danger to lap passengers, airlines would make you purchase a ticket for them.

There IS a hugely *increased* danger. Those who work in the industry have been begging for YEARS to require seats for infants and toddlers because they've seen what can happen.

But they won't require it because they are concerned that the increased cost would encourage people to drive instead.

-Angela


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meganbarr* 
I went on a 2 hour plane trip with my 2 mo as a lap passenger. On the way home there was an empty seat so I put the carseat in it, but she didnt use it. It is recommended that babies have something to suck on to relieve ear pressure during landing and take off so she nursed during those times anyway. I carried her in a ring sling because I was flying alone and had to carry the diaper bag and car seat. They made me take her out of the ring sling for landing and take off. IMO, if there was huge danger to lap passengers, airlines would make you purchase a ticket for them.

The airlines don't set the policy... the NTSB does.

Here's the way it works out: while the risk to lap babies in the event of turbulence or an emergency landing is MASSIVELY increased, the risks of those events happening during a plane flight are lower than the risks of an auto accident on a car trip of the same distance. Since many families would choose to drive rather than fly if they have to buy a ticket for everyone, and auto accidents would increase the entire family's risk, there's a statistical lower risk to having lap babies allowed. Yes, it means that the lap baby can die in situations that are bumps-and-bruises to those with their own seats, but it's less likely than the whole family dying in a car crash.

Kinda morbid stuff, but that's the NTSB's job... get the maximum safety available given what people *will* do. They can't require families to fly instead of drive if they're traveling over a certain distance, after all.

Many airlines give half-price fares to under-2's, in part because they're easier to serve (the flight attendants don't have to serve them a meal or anything), but mostly because they'd rather have everyone in a seat in case of an emergency.


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## acannon (Nov 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ironica* 
Many airlines give half-price fares to under-2's, in part because they're easier to serve (the flight attendants don't have to serve them a meal or anything), but mostly because they'd rather have everyone in a seat in case of an emergency.

Delta Airlines doesn't for a domestic flight. I looked it up on their website (that's who we're flying with). I guess I just have to ask if there's an empty seat or something, but I'm getting kind of nervous about it. I know that there's a small chance something could happen, but it's still like, what if something did happen, YK?


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## lexbeach (Mar 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acannon* 
I guess I just have to ask if there's an empty seat or something, but I'm getting kind of nervous about it. I know that there's a small chance something could happen, but it's still like, what if something did happen, YK?

Do you feel nervous before every car ride? Because a car ride is still riskIER, even with your baby correctly buckled into a correctly installed car seat. I for one DO feel a bit nervous before every car ride, but many people don't at all. I think the difference is that in the car, you can make every possible choice to make it a safer situation (i.e. in regards to your driving skills, type of car seat, correct installation, car seat position, etc.) and that can put you at ease a bit. In an airplane, the safER choice is to buy a seat for your baby and use a car seat, so it can feel a little weird to not be doing "everything you could" if you choose to have a lap baby. But really, a lap baby on an airplane is still safer than a baby in a car seat in the car.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

In the infant period, we had good success with being ticketed next to an empty seat.

By the time he started to walk, we decided on his own seat because
1) we needed the baggage allowance
2) planes were getting noticably more crowded to the point of sold out even during off peak times
3) he does best when contained. We treat the plane seat like a car seat, buckled in no matter what (within reason) no climbing or running around. After 2.5 years it has proved to be a good practice, he doesn't know that he technically could get out of his seat.

I think the advice of checking on a ticket prior to approaching MIL is good.

If that doesn't work, by all means ask to be seated next to an empty seat. I found the airline employees to be very helpful when it comes to small children.

Absolutely gate check your car seat if you can't take it on the plane. One advantage to this is it is a "free" bag and if you have a carry bag (under $20 at any big box) you can pack it full of diapers, clothes, etc.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
There IS a hugely *increased* danger. Those who work in the industry have been begging for YEARS to require seats for infants and toddlers because they've seen what can happen.

But they won't require it because they are concerned that the increased cost would encourage people to drive instead.

-Angela

exactly.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acannon* 
I know that there's a small chance something could happen, but it's still like, what if something did happen, YK?

exactly. even though the chance is small for a lot of things, im not willing to take those chances.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lexbeach* 
But really, a lap baby on an airplane is still safer than a baby in a car seat in the car.

i do not believe this is true at all.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PassionateWriter* 
i do not believe this is true at all.

Technically it is true, due to the MUCH higher chance of a car crash than a plane crash.

-Angela


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

The thing is for most families once their kid becomes old enough to need their own seat, they don't automatically just decide to start driving instead. They plan for, and buy the seat. I mean, there are plenty of places you can't drive to right? Why not require say every baby has a ticketed seat to Hawaii? I am kidding here, but seriously, most folks don't decide to drive instead when their kid turns 2. Some sure, but definitely not most. So why not just do the safest thing possible and buy a seat for each baby, and use a car seat for the kids under 40 lbs?

I used a car seat for my 45 lb 4.5 yo, and don't regret it, it was so much easier and he was so much happier. Not to mention I know where his car seat was at all times, and no one was throwing it down a slide to be put into the hold.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Technically it is true, due to the MUCH higher chance of a car crash than a plane crash.

Yep yep. OTOH, in the event of a crash*, the lap baby on the plane is at much greater risk of injury than the properly restrained baby in the car.

It's like the argument that you don't "have" to use a carseat, because chances are, you won't get in an accident... and then it's "perfectly safe" to go without one. The carseat isn't there for the times you're NOT having an accident, though... and since accidents do happen, and being properly restrained makes such a HUGE difference when they do, car seats are the safest way to go in both types of vehicles.

* For the purposes of a plane flight, the situations where this might occur are also extreme turbulence, emergency landing, or other mechanical malfuction of the plane... not strictly speaking "crashes," but emergency situations where the difference between lap babies and babies in their own restraint device attached to a seat are huge.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jwebbal* 
The thing is for most families once their kid becomes old enough to need their own seat, they don't automatically just decide to start driving instead. They plan for, and buy the seat. I mean, there are plenty of places you can't fly to right? Why not require say every baby has a ticketed seat to Hawaii? I am kidding here, but seriously, most folks don't decide to drive instead when their kid turns 2. Some sure, but definitely not most. So why not just do the safest thing possible and buy a seat for each baby, and use a car seat for the kids under 40 lbs?

I don't know. I think that families *do* take more car trips than couples without children, and I think the NTSB did some market research to explore the issue when setting the policy. Personally, we don't fly unless everyone in our family is ticketed, end of story.... but some folks are just *offended* at the suggestion that they should PAY for a seat for a BABY.







:


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