# Daycare provider ok or do I grab my kids and run?



## Nayers (Apr 3, 2015)

I am hoping to get some unbiased opinions to help me settle my worries and finalize my decision with confidence. My situation is that I have someone who provides daycare within her home. She is smart, friendly and has a great sense of humor, has 3 kids of her own (2 in elementary and 1 in going into high school) and my kids like her. My kids also like her kids and play with them outside of school as we live in the same neighborhood. My kids are 3 and 5. My concern is that she also has a pool. They only go in the pool late in the day when her husband gets home. He doesn't come out of the house but hes home. All the kids and the care giver as well as my kids climb into the pool. I happened to come home early and went by to pick them up and they were all swimming. The older kids were running around the deck doing canon balls into the pool cause big waves in the pool, while my little ones (with body floaters on) were dog paddling around having fun. My personal perspective, as an ex lifeguard, the kids were struggling to keep their heads above water. She said yup this is how my kids learned to swim. My husband was there with me at the time. He says its fine we will just give them life jackets this summer. This is my question to all of you. Do I run and find a different daycare provider before summer hits because our perspective of safety is obviously different which makes me think of other things I don't see. Or is this something that I can chat with her about and be confident that she will comply and be more diligent. Am I an over worried crazy Mom or appropriately worried?


----------



## dahlia810 (Dec 3, 2012)

Personally, I would worry way too much knowing that the kids aren't supervised while they're swimming/near the pool. It's just too much of a risk!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Nayers (Apr 3, 2015)

dahlia810 said:


> Personally, I would worry way too much knowing that the kids aren't supervised while they're swimming/near the pool. It's just too much of a risk!
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Hi Sorry I failed to mention that she (the daycare provider) too was in the water.


----------



## dahlia810 (Dec 3, 2012)

Oh! Well that's a bit better! I think I read too fast, and thought you meant that no one was outside with the kids when you said her husband isn't outside. 

In that case, I would talk to her about your concerns, and about what would make you comfortable with having your kids in the pool. 

I'm working on becoming a licensed home daycare, and I think your concerns are legitimate. I think that she should do whatever it is that you request when it comes to safety of your children. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## alpenglow (Oct 29, 2007)

I would research what your local daycare licensing officer would have to say about swimming pools. I'm an ex lifeguard, and when I worked in summer camp/day camp, only one of us could be in the water with the kids, and the other needed to be on shore. 

I would get a very clear idea of what the highest safety standards are, and then have a discussion with the caregiver about your concerns, and ask about her willingness to follow those same standards while caring for your kids. If she gets overly defensive or tries to accuse you of being paranoid/overprotective....then I would seriously reconsider her as your daycare provider. She should be open to a discussion about what activites you are and aren't comfortable with. Someone who minimizes your safety concerns and makes it all about their bruised ego or hurt feelings, is not someone who could be trusted completely. There will be other judgements throughout the day. Your daycare is basically your paid employee, and you can set the standard of care....and need to feel comfortable with having an open dialogue about the standards of care that you set.

I personally would only be comfortable with the situation you describe IF
-all children wearing properly fitted pfd's at all times when on the pool deck, in or out of the water. Your daycare provider is not a substitute for a qualified swimming instructor!
-dad actually sitting outside supervising, and watching at all times.....as a lifeguard would do.
-mom also supervising, and not getting too wrapped up in playing.
-mom and dad are both trained in water rescue/CPR.
-Access to pool deck is locked and inaccessible to the kids, when not in use.

It only takes a few seconds of inattention for a tragedy to happen. Drowning happens quickly and silently. I'm sorry if I cause you more worry!


----------



## Nayers (Apr 3, 2015)

dahlia810 said:


> Oh! Well that's a bit better! I think I read too fast, and thought you meant that no one was outside with the kids when you said her husband isn't outside.
> 
> In that case, I would talk to her about your concerns, and about what would make you comfortable with having your kids in the pool.
> 
> ...


Hello Dahlia,
You read correctly the first time. I edited my post as soon as I read your comment.

Congratulations on your path to become a licensed daycare provider. I believe it takes a very special person with patience. I believe it opens up a lot of positives for your daughter too. The little ones are sponges and having other kids around her will just offer her more experiences to grow from.

I really do not want to walk away. My husband sees no worries he rarely does, hence why I am reaching out for unbiased opinions. I just start weighing all the good against the things that make me go "Hmmm??" Sorry its the best way to explain it. There are very good things that say yes its good and other things like the relaxed approach in the pool that makes me second guess everything.

May I ask you what your opinion is about taking a large group of kids to the park, store or mall. Something like 6 kids between 5 and 10 plus another 6 or 7 kids under 5 yrs old with 3 care givers. Is this safe? controlled? Again I am looking to be grounded, given perspective.

If you have any advice or if anyone else has some comments to help give me some grounded perspective.

I appreciate all and any advice. Thank you for listening!


----------



## alpenglow (Oct 29, 2007)

It depends on the leaders. If they have and enforce strict rules (e.g. stay together, buddies, no running or balls, etc. near traffic), head count every ____ minutes, then perhaps it can work. If it's free-for-all total chaos...and 'ooops, maybe we should do a head count, it's been a while'.....then it's not safe. If the leaders are all talking to each other and not paying attention to the kids, it's not safe. Probably the only way to really know is to observe. Little ones under 5 should have some sort of a device they all hold onto to stay connected as a group, if there isn't an adult hand or stroller for each child.


----------



## Nayers (Apr 3, 2015)

alpenglow said:


> I would research what your local daycare licensing officer would have to say about swimming pools. I'm an ex lifeguard, and when I worked in summer camp/day camp, only one of us could be in the water with the kids, and the other needed to be on shore.
> 
> I would get a very clear idea of what the highest safety standards are, and then have a discussion with the caregiver about your concerns, and ask about her willingness to follow those same standards while caring for your kids. If she gets overly defensive or tries to accuse you of being paranoid/overprotective....then I would seriously reconsider her as your daycare provider. She should be open to a discussion about what activites you are and aren't comfortable with. Someone who minimizes your safety concerns and makes it all about their bruised ego or hurt feelings, is not someone who could be trusted completely. There will be other judgements throughout the day. Your daycare is basically your paid employee, and you can set the standard of care....and need to feel comfortable with having an open dialogue about the standards of care that you set.
> 
> ...


Thank you!! The last 2 sentences you wrote have been what is consuming me with worry. So no you didnt worry me more. You have clarified to me I am not making drama out of nothing. Everything is fine until it isnt. Then its too late.

The funny thing is I do not expect one slight bit of defensiveness from her. One very strong quality she has. My concern is follow through. That is for me to determine.

Also, thank you for your clear list of requirements that I can ask for. Its reasonable and would make the world of difference. Again, I need to confirm follow through.

Thank you!!


----------



## Nayers (Apr 3, 2015)

alpenglow said:


> It depends on the leaders. If they have and enforce strict rules (e.g. stay together, buddies, no running or balls, etc. near traffic), head count every ____ minutes, then perhaps it can work. If it's free-for-all total chaos...and 'ooops, maybe we should do a head count, it's been a while'.....then it's not safe. If the leaders are all talking to each other and not paying attention to the kids, it's not safe. Probably the only way to really know is to observe. Little ones under 5 should have some sort of a device they all hold onto to stay connected as a group, if there isn't an adult hand or stroller for each child.


I have actually noticed my youngest innately grab a hold the buggy. She must have learned that from her. My sister in law had the opportunity when we first moved here to spend time with her while out for a walk. Her comment was that she seems to have them in line. That it only takes one look.

This convinces me the caregiver has everything under control. Then one day she'll do something like she did last year. I am home with my kids and she comes over and stands in my driveway while her oldest is in the pool with another young child she cares for.

This is why I am questioning everything...inconsistency. Things that make me go hmmm.


----------



## tiqa (Feb 8, 2012)

That's a tough one. We lived in FL for a year where the house had a large, in-ground pool. The kids were 3 and 4 at the time and spent pretty much every day and afternoon in the warmer months swimming. They loved it and were absolute dolphins by the end of our stay there. However, there weren't older kids splashing around, and definitely no horseplay allowed (like running). It was just the two of them, so it was easier to keep an eye on them both. (We only had to haul them out once or twice towards the beginning; after that they didn't need more rescuing.)


But I think I too would worry a bit in the situation you describe above... If only because someone's attention can only be split so many ways, you know? And it would be easier for a smaller kid to get lost in the shuffle with active bigger kids. OTOH pools are a lot of fun and they might really benefit from learning how to swim well. It's easier to master it that way rather than to take once a week lessons or whatever... So yeah, I'd be torn. But if your gut feeling says go, I'd go with the gut feeling every time.


----------



## navitasharma (May 24, 2016)

Day care facilities are quite popular these days. However, I don’t understand why parents don’t do a proper research regarding safety of the children before getting their children enrolled. It’s a big responsibility and leniency should be avoided in every case.


----------

