# Could my 11 month old be self-weaning?



## monkeybum (Jan 1, 2005)

I nursed my first DS till he was (is) 4 (he still nurses to sleep and would nurse more if I let him!). But DS#2 (just turned 11 months today) has not nursed much the last 2 days. He has recently discovered "real" people food and eats everything he can get his hands on, and lots of it! He isn't really interested in nursing much anymore. He'll nurse to sleep sometimes, and once or twice in the night (we co-sleep) and he loves his morning nummies, but it has suddenly reduced from every 2-3 hours around the clock to 3-4 times in 24 hours, since his eating of "real" foods. He cries when I try to nurse him, and then cries and reaches for "real" food. He clearly wants to eat and not nurse.

Should I just let it progress as he wants? Could he really be self-weaning at this age?


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

No. Babies do not self wean that early. Offer offer offer. Offer before solid meals (when not near the food- nurse before he realizes it's "dinner time")

Cosleep and offer through the night. Offer in the tub. Offer in different places and positions.

Make sure he's not getting any other sucking- no bottles, pacifiers, sippy cups.

No spoon feeding- just let him self feed.

No other milks or juices.

good luck!

-Angela


----------



## nhapmom (Jan 25, 2008)

i agree. just offer prior to meals. its a supply/demand thing and if he's not nursing your supply will dry up.


----------



## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

I agree with PP. Offer until you are blue in the face.

Offer in new locations and new nursing positions.

Offer before meals.

Etc.


----------



## tofumama (Jan 20, 2004)

Just out of curiosity...why is it wrong that her son is only nursing a couple times a day? My dd was SO done with nursing at about 12mo. She wanted nothing to do with it once she could self feed other foods. I gave her bm in a cup for a while then got pg. with my 3rd and that was it. Isn't that what CLW is all about? Taking cues from your child? Some kids WILL nurse forever, some don't. When you are offering the breast constantly when the child does not want it...who are you doing that for?

Just a fyi, my oldest son was weaned by me b/c I did not know any better. Was planning to let any future children CLW and feel that I did. My youngest was close to 2 when he just was not interested anymore. I did continue to try to offer, but he was much more interested in what his siblings were doing even if I took him somewhere quiet/away from them. He just did not want to nurse anymore. I honored that. I am not against ebf at all...as long as it is a MUTUAL decision...which I don't always believe it is...just my .02


----------



## mylittlefiredancer (Oct 23, 2005)

:

Nichole


----------



## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

No, whatever you do, don't "let it go." You need to be proactive and get him nursing again. A strike can lead to weaning but it certainly isn't child led. Great tips above...best of luck!


----------



## abi&ben'smom (Oct 28, 2007)

I agree with Tofumama.


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tofumama* 
Just out of curiosity...why is it wrong that her son is only nursing a couple times a day? My dd was SO done with nursing at about 12mo. She wanted nothing to do with it once she could self feed other foods. I gave her bm in a cup for a while then got pg. with my 3rd and that was it. Isn't that what CLW is all about? Taking cues from your child? Some kids WILL nurse forever, some don't. When you are offering the breast constantly when the child does not want it...who are you doing that for?

At a year a baby should still be getting around 75% of their nutrition from breastmilk. That is very difficult (or impossible) to do with only two nursing sessions.

-Angela


----------



## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

It is hard to say, IMO. But under 2 it is usually just a strike. Keep offering, and you will see. Good luck!


----------



## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I am very much pro letting kids eat what they want, when they want...but if I had a 1 yr. old who was losing intrest in BM due to solids I would eliminate them cold turkey. There's a difference between needs and wants, and our job as moms is to make sure NEEDS are met. They WANT solids, but they NEED BM. And they most definately NEED to be nursing for at least another year!


----------



## abi&ben'smom (Oct 28, 2007)

I totally understand what you are saying (mine were bf for over 2 years), but how can you say no if they are asking for bites of what you are eating?

I watched my friends struggle with her 12 month old not wanting to bf anymore. No matter how much she would offer. (And she is still a little stubborn thing!) I never would of believed it if I wouldn't of seen it with my own eyes; mine always wanted to nurse 24/7, even at 2. So anyway, how do you not let them eat if they want to?


----------



## tofumama (Jan 20, 2004)

I agree. I was not going to tell my children no, you cannot have *insert safe solid food here* and you MUST take bm...I get nursing strike and to keep offering, as that is what I did. But what is one supposed to do? Not allow their child in the kitchen when the rest of the family is eating? Not possible for me as my children were/are child-led-grazers. I couldn't keep dd and then ds away from all things eating/food.

I guess I just would hate for a situation to occur like I went through that I was made to feel like a failure because I did not bf until my child was 3, 4, etc. My children CLW. That was my goal. Every child is different. To the OP: Yes, continue to try to bf. Offer it whenever is practical. If your bebe seems to not want it as much and is really interested in food obviously offer the most nutrient dense things possible. I wish you the best of luck.

And I am sorry...to take away food cold-turkey to force the child to start bf all the time again? Isn't that a bit harsh? Not child led anything, imo...I get it is our responsibility to make sure our children have the best foods possible and breast IS best and I am 100% in support of all babies being bf if at all possible. But does that mean I am less of a mother because I did not force my 12mo to continue to nurse when she did not want to? That somehow she was lacking in nutrition because 75% of her diet at that point was not still bm? Ever think maybe there is a reason behind a 'nursing strike'? I don't normally post on the bf forums because I never felt there was alot of support beyond what is *personally* felt to be THE.BEST. Every child is different, every mother is different, every situation is different. CLW is CLW imo, whether it is 12 mo or 5years.

OP: go with your mama-gut. You have one and I am sure it will guide you as to what is best for you and your little one.


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tofumama* 
CLW is CLW imo, whether it is 12 mo or 5years.

The problem is that our society and its patterns lead to early weaning. I would be interested to hear if any child who weaned at 12 months had:

NO other sucking (no bottles, sippy cups or pacifiers)
no spoon feeding- only self feeding of normal foods (no "baby foods")
no other milk
no juice
open access to nursing- including at night (cosleeping, open access)
nursing offered very often
no restrictions to nursing
etc.

-Angela


----------



## nhapmom (Jan 25, 2008)

the other thing is, too, that if the 1 yo is not bf'ing then he/she needs formula, right? isnt formula recommended until at least 2?? (i dont know but thats what i thought). i dont think solids are ever going to be nutritionally sufficient for a 1 yo....


----------



## tofumama (Jan 20, 2004)

My kids did.
No cups, sippy, pacifier, spoon feeding etc, etc for the 2 that clw before 2yo. Incidentally, I did feed my first son with a spoon, earlier than the other 2 (maybe 6-8mo?) and did not co-sleep consistantly, and he is the one *I* 'weaned' at 18ish months. He probably would have been the one who would have nursed forever. Again, every child is different.

Not saying that is always the case with early wean-ers but I bring this up because that is what happened in *my* case. Maybe it isn't the norm, but it happened and I wouldn't want another mom to be made to feel guilty for following their childs lead, if that is what they chose to do.


----------



## tofumama (Jan 20, 2004)

I did not suplement with formula with any of my kids. Nor did I give them dairy milk.


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nhapmom* 
the other thing is, too, that if the 1 yo is not bf'ing then he/she needs formula, right? isnt formula recommended until at least 2?? (i dont know but thats what i thought). i dont think solids are ever going to be nutritionally sufficient for a 1 yo....

What's actually recommended is a full fat milk until 2. Personally I would use formula.

-Angela


----------



## jlpumkin (Oct 25, 2005)

I would totally not give formula to wean before 2.

Just as a note to op... 11 mos is just too young to self wean. My first lost interest and I allowed her to wean sometime around 12 - 13 months because frankly the sensation of breastfeeding has never been something I enjoyed. It was the worst mistake ever. I should have kept offering and working at it. One week later we started a string of illnesses that ended in seizures and ear tubes. And this is exactly the time of year for it. Everyone said that my 2d would be a repeat, plus he's a boy which supposedly made him more prone to problems. So I made sure we nursed longer, no problems at all... healthy as a horse. IMHO it's completely worth the little extra work.


----------



## monkeybum (Jan 1, 2005)

Gosh, so many great replies. Thanks everyone!

He was only BF until about 2 weeks ago as he gagged on all solids until then, but suddenly he can eat. So he's just started with any kind of solids (spoon and self fed).

Angela, to answer your questions:

*- NO other sucking (no bottles, sippy cups or pacifiers)* - True, he does not get any bottles and does not use a pacifier, we sometimes offer water from our "people" cup if he is grabbing for it, on occasion.
*- no spoon feeding- only self feeding of normal foods (no "baby foods")* - True, he only self-feeds. He had no interest in spooned foods so we stopped trying a long time ago.
*no other milk -* True, no other milk.
*no juice-* True, no juice (other than the sip he tried to steal from his older brothers juice box last night!







)
*open access to nursing- including at night (cosleeping, open access)* - True, we cosleep at night and naps. The boob is right there in his face







any time he wants it. He latches on and off all night.
*nursing offered very often* - True, I continue to offer every 3 to 4 hours, (before meals, nap, bed, and all night).
*no restrictions to nursing* - True, none imposed by me.

He is very easily distracted by his older brother so for a long time I had to nurse him in a separate room with door closed, (usually on the bed). But maybe he is associating that with sleeping and thinks "I don't want to go to SLEEP! I want to PLAY!" so maybe he is resisting the location. I'll try some new ones. The only place he wants to nurse is when he's in the car seat in the car, and I lean in the door to nurse him. But I can't do that every few hours with my 4 year old in tow!

Is it true that most of their calories should still come from bm until age 2?? I didn't realize that. But aren't most kids eating regular meals well before 2? I know my 4 year old was. I pumped and he had ebm as his "drink" from 12 months until 16 months or so, but once he was eating meals I let that be his main source of calories. I just didnt' worry as much b/c he continued wanting to nurse all the time!

DS#2 eats A LOT. For example (no flames please) he'll eat an entire blueberry pancake, or an entire slice of large pizza in one sitting. He'll eat the same amount of melon or banana as my 4 year old for breakfast. Pasta or bagel and cream cheese - he'll eat MORE than my 4 year old. He ate almost an entire grilled chicken breast for lunch last week. He is quite chunky so I'm sure he needs lots of calories, I just want to make sure he gets the nutrients he needs.

I have to return to work in 3 weeks so I am going to start offering him a sippy cup - probably ebm - so he has something to drink while I'm gone for 9 hours. I will keep cosleeping and night/morning/evg nursing as often as he wants. Any other suggestions?

Would you really worry/consider it weaning if he is still night nursing? I am kind of thinking it's the same as a child who sleeps through the night and doesn't nurse, but nurses during the day, no?


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeybum* 
Would you really worry/consider it weaning if he is still night nursing? I am kind of thinking it's the same as a child who sleeps through the night and doesn't nurse, but nurses during the day, no?

I wouldn't worry as much if he's still nursing at night. And I wouldn't consider it weaning at all at that age - it's a nursing strike









Just keep offering. Offer in places and positions that he can keep having fun









-Angela


----------



## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

A couple days ago DS started to do this too... so I started eating while he napped, that way he's not sitting her begging. If he doesn't see "real" food he doesn't ask for it, and so nurses more. So, I'd try that.


----------



## Kellie Mele (May 18, 2015)

Why would it be too early to self wean? It is natural for a baby to begin to be more interested in solids. My daughter is just about 11 mo and is the same way. Babies can stop bf at 12 mo and it is perfectly fine, without formula! 18 mo was my goal, but if she wants to stop before that, I guess she is ready! I offer both, she is slowly choosing breast less often. It is natural!


----------



## Kellie Mele (May 18, 2015)

jlpumkin said:


> I would totally not give formula to wean before 2.
> 
> Just as a note to op... 11 mos is just too young to self wean. My first lost interest and I allowed her to wean sometime around 12 - 13 months because frankly the sensation of breastfeeding has never been something I enjoyed. It was the worst mistake ever. I should have kept offering and working at it. One week later we started a string of illnesses that ended in seizures and ear tubes. And this is exactly the time of year for it. Everyone said that my 2d would be a repeat, plus he's a boy which supposedly made him more prone to problems. So I made sure we nursed longer, no problems at all... healthy as a horse. IMHO it's completely worth the little extra work.


why is 11 mo too early? I am not trying to play devil's advocate, I just thought it was ok to stop nursing at 12 mo. Wouldn't it be ok to start slowly at 11 mo? I


----------

