# Can you die from lack of sleep??



## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

i need help!

So my DD is just over 6 months. I have been nursing her to sleep after a routine (bath, massage, etc) for her whole







life! This is usally about 8pm. Then she wakes at 9, she needs the paci. So we put that back in. Then it is again at 10pm. Paci. 11:30 DH goes in, she doesn't want him, gets fussy. I nurse her again. Then she wakes at 1 or 2 and wants to nurse again! I bring her into bed, she wiggles to nurse about 4 again.

What is going on??

I work full time and now I am sick. I am contemplating a bottle of formula before bed tonight. I can't live like this...







:


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Can you teach her to suck her thumb instead of needing the paci?


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

Some babies get up... Thats just how it goes. Isaiah is 2 and still wakes up at least once in the middle of the night.


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

And question, what makes you think a bottle will make her sleep all night? It wont. At her age she is supposed to get up all night like that. They need to eat so many hours some of those hours just happen to be in the night for her. Not a whole lot you can do but deal with it, and it will pass.


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## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)

it will get easier I promise. The lack of sleep can be torture. It seemed like my health was declining. But your body just sort of adjusts to it...it will get easier...I promise.


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## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)




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## mykdsmomy (Oct 10, 2004)

What if you bring her into bed with you for the whole night? What if she just nurses when she wants and that way, you'll learn to sleep through it and probably sleep better







I have always slept with my babies because honestly it was the only way I could get ANY sleep at night







After a while, I didnt even notice they were waking up to nurse because they would nurse while I was sleeping...








good luck.....the first year is really hard


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## mykdsmomy (Oct 10, 2004)

OH also, giving her formula could actually make things worse because she may have a reaction to it....it could upset her tummy since she's not used to it.....


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

Some of the responses seem really harsh! I am sleep deprived and at this point willing to try anything.

I was thinking that formula might not work, then we would really be screwed. Messed with her tummy AND no sleep!
She does sleep with us the latter part of the night, but very wiggly and still wakes me up every two hours... Maybe we should just do it for the whole night?

it is so hard when you work full time. I wish we lived in Canada and I could take a year off. It is not fair.


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mykdsmomy*
What if you bring her into bed with you for the whole night? What if she just nurses when she wants and that way, you'll learn to sleep through it and probably sleep better







I have always slept with my babies because honestly it was the only way I could get ANY sleep at night







After a while, I didnt even notice they were waking up to nurse because they would nurse while I was sleeping...








good luck.....the first year is really hard

















I agree. It was the only thing that kept me somewhat close to sane that first 6-12 months!

Waking to nurse every 2 hours is pretty normal for that age, they have such tiny tummies.








Sleep deprivation is ROUGH, especially if you have to work full-time too!
I hope you find something that works soon!


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## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
it is so hard when you work full time.

It sure is hard when you work full time. I work 50+ hours per week while DS stays with DH(WAHD) during the day and I come home and take over. By the time I get in, I am ready to pass out from exhaustion because my job is VERY demanding and we *need* my income to survive.

That first year, was very hard and I was still working 50+ hours per week...(had no choice)


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## claras_mom (Apr 25, 2006)

Sounds like pretty normal 6 month old sleeping to me.









What I used to do, and what you can try if you're not already doing it, was to crawl into bed the first time dd fell asleep and take an evening nap. I actually got pretty good at nursing while asleep, too.....







We weren't co-sleeping, but she was in an armsreach right next to me. The routine, as it were, was that I'd nurse her in the middle of the night, falling asleep in the process (she was usually on my chest). Then at some point, dh would wake up again, peel her off my chest and put her back in the co-sleeper.

A question about the paci. Do you know what cluster feeding is? I learned with dd (her pattern, because it was on-demand)--basically, the baby nurses really, really frequently for several hours and then, often, has a longer stretch before needing the next one. So if she were to nurse instead of taking the paci, in those evening hours, she _might_ give you a longer stretch in the wee hours of the morning. It could be worth it to at least offer the breast instead of the paci.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

It sounds like she's doing something called reverse cycling. Have you ever heard of that? It happens a lot with breastfeeding dyads where mothers work outside of the home. She's getting the connection time---as you know breastfeeding is SO much more than just the nutritive aspects







It's also a reason many WOHM breastfeeding moms choose to co-sleep! Getting up and down is HARD!!! Six month olds are notorious







for developmental leaps and growth spurts. I would be a tad bit concerned with using a pacifier at this point, because your milk supply might not be able to keep up with her needs if a pacifier is used in substitution for time at the breast. I do realize you have a lot on your plate, so please don't take the information as any criticism as I don't mean it as such









It's really frustrating when you're not getting the rest you need. It's also hard on her, too, when mommy is feeling frustrated







I've been nursing children to sleep every night now for 6.5 years, so I can completely empathize. I know you probably won't believe me when I say this, but when they no longer nurse to sleep---it can be really hard to lose a sure-fire tool.


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## yentroc (Jul 22, 2005)

I really couldn't read and not reply. I have wondered many times if you could die of sleep deprivation. It certainly feels like it. When dd was that age we played the "pacifier game" and it was maddening! As soon as she fell asleep it fell out of her mouth and she needed it back in. Aargh! Luckily for us she found her thumb at 7 months, we were shocked and surprised and RELIEVED. I don't know if you can teach her to suck her thumb or not, for us it just happened.

My dd is very wiggly at night too and I can't sleep next to her (she doesn't sleep well next to me either) So our solution was to put our boxspring and mattress on the floor and a futon mattress next to ours. Dd sleeps on the futon and when she needs to nurse I just slide off the bed onto hers and back into bed after she falls asleep. (if I'm really tired I fall asleep with her for awhile) This has worked really well for us and now that she's older (15months) sometimes I can just reach down and pat her and she will go back to sleep.

My heart goes out to you mama, I felt as if I would die (still do after a bad night) and I am just now considering going back to work... I don't know how I would have survivied the lack of sleep and working!









Hang in there, it really does get better, slowly but surely.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

*If anyone has a problem with a member, post, subject matter, tone, etc. please DO NOT post your concern to the thread. This would be best addressed privately through PM either to the member in question or to a moderator. Thanks







*


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I also suggest co-sleeping for more (or all) of the night. If the bed seems too crowded, maybe sleep with the baby in the big bed while DH sleeps elsewhere? Trust me, you can have "special Mommy and Daddy time" in any room of the house- changing the sleeping arrangements won't affect your marriage!

I've found that, with young children, it's important to be flexible. A sleeping arrangement might work great this week and not so well next week. Focus on meeting the needs of everybody in the family (yourself included!!) and try not to worry about what you think you're supposed to be doing.


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## Diane B (Mar 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
i need help!

So my DD is just over 6 months. I have been nursing her to sleep after a routine (bath, massage, etc) for her whole







life! This is usally about 8pm. Then she wakes at 9, she needs the paci. So we put that back in. Then it is again at 10pm. Paci. 11:30 DH goes in, she doesn't want him, gets fussy. I nurse her again. Then she wakes at 1 or 2 and wants to nurse again! I bring her into bed, she wiggles to nurse about 4 again.

What is going on??

I work full time and now I am sick. I am contemplating a bottle of formula before bed tonight. I can't live like this...







:

My daughter was completely bottle nursed. She didn't sleep particularly well. It's a myth that bottle-fed babies sleep better!

That said, if you are working, my guess is that your daughter drinks breast milk from a bottle during the day. Would it be possible to have your husband do one or more of the feedings at night? My experience is that I could survive if I got at least one stretch of 3 hours sleep somewhere in the night.

In the meantime, sleep deprivation is serious. Perhaps you could take a sick day and sleep, or enlist DH's help and get some napping in on the weekend just to catch up. It's hard to be creative and problem-solve when you can't think straight.


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## maryeb (Aug 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla*
I also suggest co-sleeping for more (or all) of the night. If the bed seems too crowded, maybe sleep with the baby in the big bed while DH sleeps elsewhere? Trust me, you can have "special Mommy and Daddy time" in any room of the house- changing the sleeping arrangements won't affect your marriage!

I've found that, with young children, it's important to be flexible. A sleeping arrangement might work great this week and not so well next week. Focus on meeting the needs of everybody in the family (yourself included!!) and try not to worry about what you think you're supposed to be doing.


I totally agree with Ruthla. We have been doing the flexible sleep thing, with dh in the other room, until yesterday because we received our king bed. It really helps. Also, I believe a couple pps mentioned not using the paci but nursing instead. I was thinking perhaps she needs to nurse more and would wake less in the wee hours if she were eating instead of just sucking. My ds is almost 9 months and probably wakes more than 2 times a night to nurse, but I barely notice most of the time since we cosleep. Sleep deprivation sucks. Hoping you can use some of these suggestions! Mary


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## flitters (Sep 18, 2003)

hugs.

there isn't always an easy answer but hopefully you'll find something that works for you soon.

i am a WOHM and dh is a SAHD. we have had ds in bed with us together since he was about 2 months (in the very early days, ds and i slept together in a separate bed). i think this is the easiest way to meet the baby's needs for touch and nursing and still get rest.

getting out of bed, even once, is WAY more disruptive than tossing around a bit. going to bed with the intention of just doing the nursing with the minimum energy output kind of reduces the stress on each night feeding, and promotes rest. because it's consistent it becomes easier.

i can't imagine regularly having to get up at night, even once, to nurse. on weird nights when ds has gas and we have to get up, it is much less restful. i'd recommend giving all night cosleeping a chance for a week or two and see how you feel at the end of it. it's a process, and it gets easier when the rhythm sinks in.

good luck.

eta: ds still nurses a lot through the night, but i'm getting enough rest and i don't think i would be if he weren't in bed with us. that was the point. sorry if that was unclear!


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

I feel SO much better. Sometimes you feel like the only one out there who hasn't used the CIO or supplemented. And boy I feel guilty when I mention co-sleeping.

I will try to co-sleep more and not feel so guilty. I do enjoy the 2 or so hours I get after putting her down at 8. Its my only "me" time during the whole 24 hours!!

I know DH will go along with whatever I want to do. And what does he have to complain about, hes guaranteed sleep!!


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

I feel SO much better. Sometimes you feel like the only one out there who hasn't used the CIO or supplemented. And boy I feel guilty when I mention co-sleeping.

I will try to co-sleep more and not feel so guilty. I do enjoy the 2 or so hours I get after putting her down at 8. Its my only "me" time during the whole 24 hours!!

I know DH will go along with whatever I want to do. And what does he have to complain about, hes guaranteed sleep!!


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## dogmama (May 24, 2005)

Just have to chime in- I'm in the same boat. Squidge is 5 mos, and some nights has me up every hour. It will pass. I remember being so sleep deprived with #1 that I felt unsafe driving. I live for long weekend naps. Hang in there.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

me too!







for all us 5-6 month mamas!!

ds used to sleep so wonderfully (7pm-4am in his crib, then back to sleep for 2-3 hrs)...wow I miss those days. He just got his first tooth, learned to sit and is working on pre-crawling, all within 2 wks. He now takes AGES to go to sleep (I'm so tired of bouncing!!), wakes up 45 mins after I put him down, then every 2 hours or so after that. He also starts out in his crib (ITA about the 2 hours between his bedtime and mine when I get to have my body to myself, eat dinner, hang out with dh!) and I usually try to put him back there because I sleep so badly (& so does he) when we cosleep. But I'm thinking about trying it in the hope that he'll get used to me turning over etc and not wake up so easily.

Anyway, the point of this is that I feel your pain.







: You're not alone and you're doing an amazing job!!! I keep telling myself it will pass...let's hope that's true.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:

I will try to co-sleep more and not feel so guilty.
Why do you think you're feeling guilty? Are you feeling family/societal pressure? Babies are biologically designed to be close to mama







Co-sleeping has ensured our species survival---while it might not be as culturally prevalent or typical, it's quite _normal_







If you'll look at the top of the forum, there are a ton of links and articles to help you find ways to make co-sleeping work for you and your family in your own unique set of circumstances.

You are not alone


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## zksgreen (Mar 23, 2006)

I am WOHM - and was sleep deprived. Here are things that helped.

1.) Layed down with DS as soon as I got home from work to nurse and take a nap. This really, really help re-bond w/ DS and made the evening much more peaceful.
2.) Let DS sleep while I held him to nurse/sleep on the couch while I watched T.V. for the early part of the evening instead of laying him down.
3.) Took a mini nap during my lunch hour in my car.
4.) Co-slept
5.) Had DH help w/ making dinner so I could nurse while dinner was being made.

Stay strong! The end is in sight - before you know if your DC will be sleeping through the night, and you will be wondering what to do with all your free evening time!!


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## Tonia80 (Jun 10, 2006)

She may be trying to make up for lost mama time during teh night. Often babies of working mums do that because they are wanting the bonding and contact more. Try spending ample time holding, snuggling and nursing her, esp right before bedtyime. I also second just letting her co sleep withyou so you can eventually learn to sleep while nursing. this was my lifesaver! (I have a 13 monthold who still wakes at least two times to nurse a night and a 3 yr odl who wakes at least twice for no reason other thjan to make me lose my mind, and they are both up at 6 for teh day so I can totally relate!)


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

Why do some sources say that babies are physically able to sleep a full night by the time they are 6 months?


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## Nora'sMama (Apr 8, 2005)

I am simply amazed by my body's ability to function on so little uninterrupted sleep. But it is hard!

At 6 months my DD had to be rocked to sleep for literally hours...as soon as we would set her down on the bed she would wake up. Then she woke up often all night. Now at 13 months she usually goes down OK on the bed (after being walked or rocked/nursed), stays asleep for wow! a whole 45 minutes! before needing to be nursed back down, then we repeat that about 45 minutes later...usually on the 3rd wakeup I go to sleep with her and then she actually sleeps for a few hours. (If I don't lay down with her at that point she also will go into a deep sleep and sleep for a few hours at a stretch). She wakes frequently in the early morning hours. It's tough. But it is better than it was.

I think with these issues you have to just tell yourself that CIO is not an option, formula is not an option. Then you'll find solutions, and you'll adapt.


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
i need help!

So my DD is just over 6 months. I have been nursing her to sleep after a routine (bath, massage, etc) for her whole







life! This is usally about 8pm. Then she wakes at 9, she needs the paci. So we put that back in. Then it is again at 10pm. Paci. 11:30 DH goes in, she doesn't want him, gets fussy. I nurse her again. Then she wakes at 1 or 2 and wants to nurse again! I bring her into bed, she wiggles to nurse about 4 again.

What is going on??

I work full time and now I am sick. I am contemplating a bottle of formula before bed tonight. I can't live like this...







:









BTDT. What helped me, was pumping so that my baby could have breastmilk while I slept. I also co-slept, but my dh would get up and feed her at least once at night.

Quote:

Why do some sources say that babies are physically able to sleep a full night by the time they are 6 months?
That is only for certain infants. Babies have small stomachs and need to eat often.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

My 7.5 month old dd has her routine at night(start the routine around 7pm). Bath, diaper, clean jammies, 6 oz of breastmilk via bottle (I EP) then dance with daddy until she falls asleep. She stays asleep about 4-5 hours (on a good night) Then she is up every 1.5 hours after that. She only takes one or two ounces at those awake intervals. She eats and falls asleep in either my or dh's arms. Then she is up again in 1.5 hours. So frustrating! I wish she would eat another 6 oz so she would sleep for another 4-5 hours! On nights that we are exhausted, I mix a little powdered formula into her breastmilk bottle on her first wakening. It helps her to sleep a bit longer, maybe 2.5 hours instead of just 1.5 hours. Its so tough, since I have to get up to pump every 2 hours in addition to her getting up. And she is up to stay about 5am. We just have to keep telling ourselves that it will get better. It will, right?


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Personally I think that the paci can cause problems like this - I've used one before (with DD) and I think it was what made her stop sleeping through the night and subsequently waking up every couple hours.

My feeling is that they get used to sleeping with the pacifier in their mouths, so when they get through the sleep cycle to the light sleep/waking point they notice its absense and wake up. THis is different from nursing htem to sleep because they only have the nipple in their mouth at the beginning, they sleep without it and are used to it not being there.

Just IMHO from observing my kids - certainly doesn't explain all night waking or anything and getting rid of the pacifier is not going to be a quick fix for her sleep issues since it will take a long time before she adjusts to life without it.

I also think night waking at 6-12 months is not about hunger (generally) its about instinct and survival. Babies are programmed to wake up and reconnect with mama - making sure they aren't left alone somewhere. Nursing isn't just about filling the tummy, its about comfort and security and its natural for a little one to want that to go back to sleep.

For me, having hte child in bed is a must because even though I still get woken up, I have to wake up less to fulfill the baby's needs and can fall asleep while nursing, so I get more nad better sleep despite nursing every couple hours. I couldn't imagine getting up out of bed and going into antoher room to retrieve/nurse the baby - I would be ready to die too!

Lastly,





















- It's a hard stage mama but it doesn't last forever. Eventually they do sleep all night long and don't need you so much anymore. It seems (now) like its gone by too fast with DD, but I remember I felt like the night waking would never end too.


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## claras_mom (Apr 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
Why do some sources say that babies are physically able to sleep a full night by the time they are 6 months?

Some of them are. Clara would early-on sleep as much as 5 or 6 hours at a stretch...sometimes. Part of the trick to that, if you're lucky enough to have a child who will sleep longer, is timing. Believe me, we didn't even try for an early bedtime. I'd get smarty pants remarks from well-meaning acquaintances about "little night owls," but for the longest time 10 PM was the bedtime we aimed for, because we knew that we stood a strong chance of getting through to 4:30 or 5 AM.

But as you can tell from reading these posts, and as you undoubtedly already know from your own child, it's not a static situation. All kinds of things, from a cold to a developmental leap to a change in the weather, can affect how long a child sleeps at a time. Today, I'm zombified, because dd was awake for over an hour in the middle of the night, wanting to nurse and cuddle (in that extra active way that's a gift of the toddler!







). She might have been hungry...dh and I both agree that she may have had a bad dream and needed the contact and time to shake it off. She's 18 months old next week. Every week is different.

But every week is also wonderful. Hang in there, mama.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

I had one baby who "slept through the night" from just about day one. My other two have never slept through any night! There are so many factors. One-size-fits-all statements about when a baby is *supposed* to be doing something is just a recipe for problems, IMO. Many times, instead of the new mama thinking, gee, this book's author has a real problem, she looks at herself or her babe wondering, what's wrong with you/me/us??? Sometimes, in the middle of the night, it's just an acceptance thing (this coming from a mama whose oldest who was one of those who seemed to not "need" sleep







...that this is the baby I've been given, and I'm going to do the very best for him/her as I can. Whatever it takes, we're going to make it through. And you will....it's just not easy. It's hard. And frustrating...and isolating at times. But, you're doing right by your baby. You're listening to her needs and responding lovingly.


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## lisac77 (May 27, 2005)

Double, Triple, Quadruple hugs to you mama! I WOH and I totally feel you on the sleep depriviation.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GooeyRN*
She stays asleep about 4-5 hours (on a good night) Then she is up every 1.5 hours after that. She only takes one or two ounces at those awake intervals. She eats and falls asleep in either my or dh's arms. Then she is up again in 1.5 hours. So frustrating! I wish she would eat another 6 oz so she would sleep for another 4-5 hours! *On nights that we are exhausted, I mix a little powdered formula into her breastmilk bottle on her first wakening. It helps her to sleep a bit longer, maybe 2.5 hours instead of just 1.5 hours*.

GooeyRN, I'm wondering if you've ever seen the research about reasons to avoid giving formula in her bottle at night? Here is one link I could quickly find. I just wanted to mention it, because there are many mamas out there who might read your post and think aha! an extra hour of sleep







We've all been there









I just wanted to point out this information in an effort to help others make informed decisions, not to start a debate


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## aprildawn (Apr 1, 2004)

It *is* so hard, isn't it? I came to this forum because misery loves company. DD2, who is 14 months, squirms and flops around at night. She sleeps in our bed. I just can't sleep when she's flopping around all night. Some nights are better than others, and we have more and more good nights every month or so. Improvement is coming, albeit slowly.

She won't nurse back to sleep sometimes. Just lies there flopping around. If I leave her in the room with DH to sleep elsewhere she'll cry. If I lie back down with her she won't nurse, just wants to flop around. Either way I get no sleep and it eventually leads to me becoming very angry.

I think it's important for the OP and others at times like this to acknowledge the legitimacy of her need for good sleep. When I've had some good night's sleep I read posts like this and think, "Just bring the baby to bed and nurse/sleep through the night." It doesn't always work that way. In my instance, the baby is in bed with me and she's not nursing/sleeping all night. She's flopping around and making me miserable.

So, to the OP, it's OK to be miserable and need sleep. Can you take a day off work? Can you go to bed early for a few nights to catch up? That's what I plan to do. Go to bed at 9pm with DD1 until I feel a little less sleep-deprived. I agree with the PPs, formula is not the answer. Hang in there. You'll see improvement eventually.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry you're not feeling well







It does get better though. I remember wondering myself if it was possible to die from lack of sleep when we first brought ds home. I was still coming down from all the narcotics and he was a night owl. I was so tired and still drugged and became delirious- I honestly had no idea where I was. I called my mom frantic "I can't do this! I can't do this! OMG I think I'm going to be sick.." She came over at 3 in the morning to help. I was having tremors and night sweats and even when ds was asleep, I was wide awake freaking out like an addict. Things DID get better, and I know they will get better for you too


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## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

I am so sorry. First I also work about 45-50 hours a week and it is tough. I have to be very "on" when I am at work. We bottle/ formula feed and I can honestly say it won't make her sleep longer. The first thing I would do would be to take a vaction day or afternoon off and go home and sleep. A few hours uninterrupted can do wonders. Then I would start co sleeping and pumping for the night. This way if she needs to nurse you don't have to get up and also maybe your DH can take over one of the feedings and give her a bottle. Good luck.


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## ACsMom (Apr 21, 2006)

alijased, I am so relating to you right now. I sometimes get scared when I'm this sleep deprived that I won't be able to take care of my baby properly, like I'll drop her or something. I haven't so far, but it's a scary thought...my daughter is 4 months old and wriggles herself awake at least five times per night. Swaddling her doesn't seem to make a difference; just makes her too hot. I don't know what to do - don't know if there's anything we really can do except wait for it to get better. We co-sleep, b/c when I have to get out of bed to feed her I get even less sleep. I tried having her sleep in her crib when she started this, thinking maybe we wouldn't be waking each other up as much, but she woke up even more often. hmmm....just wanted you to know you are not alone out there.


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Actually, I think sleep deprivation is listed as an official form of torture. Didn't the US government get in trouble for inflicting it on the detainees in Gitmo?

Anyhoo, I remember those early days with my boy well. I'd just nurse him to sleep and tiptoe downstairs to enjoy my two hours of Me Time. Slip in a movie and before the previews were over, back up the stairs. Put the movie back in 30 minutes later, _back_ up the stairs. Man, it was the only time I ever remember actually resenting him. Can't I get ONE HOUR to myself!?

Eventually he got better at sleeping for longer periods without me physically attached to his body. Although I doubt even now (at age three) he could get through a whole night. Thank God for a King Sized bed and a husband who doesn't mind (too much) that we only leave him with a few inches of it.

My only advice would be to eat right, get some exercise if you can, and avoid too much alcohol or caffeine. You know, all those healthy things we're supposed to do to feel better but never get around to.









Good luck!


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## la mamita (Apr 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr*
I am so sorry. First I also work about 45-50 hours a week and it is tough. I have to be very "on" when I am at work. We bottle/ formula feed and I can honestly say it won't make her sleep longer. The first thing I would do would be to take a vaction day or afternoon off and go home and sleep. A few hours uninterrupted can do wonders. Then I would start co sleeping and pumping for the night. This way if she needs to nurse you don't have to get up and also maybe your DH can take over one of the feedings and give her a bottle. Not sure how old she is but I will say one thing that helped us alittle was to add the rice cereal to her bottle to make it thicker, I realize it doesn't add nutrients but it seemed to keep her fuller longer and thus eliminate 1 or 2 bottles a night. Maybe have your DH give her one pumped BM bottle and add 1 Tbs. per 2 oz. and give that to her around midnight. This may keep her full until 4 or 5 and then you can nurse with her right by you. Good luck.

safety note: giving rice cereal in a bottle is a choking hazard.

to the OP: your dc sounds normal and hopefully you can get some time to sleep on weekends to catch up. we coslept and my DS still woke up a LOT, but i can't imagine getting out of bed. you've received a bunch of good advice, so i'm not going to repeat everything. hope you can get some rest!


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## flitters (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zksgreen*
I am WOHM - and was sleep deprived. Here are things that helped.
...
5.) Had DH help w/ making dinner so I could nurse while dinner was being made.

I wanted to echo this. I had forgotten what it was like when I would get home from work when ds was 6 months old. Dh would pass the baby to me and make dinner while ds would nurse, often for an hour straight. Dh would sometimes bring me dinner on the couch if the little guy was still on the boob. I think this extra nursing right on my return home helped meet his needs a bit more before we tried to lie down for the night, so then when night finally rolled around ds was a bit caught up on nursing and mama time.

To the OP, I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. It sounds like your instincts are going to lead you to a solution that works for your baby and your family. Also, while some babies may sleep through the night at 6 months, it is possible to get enough rest with one who doesn't. Hugs again.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Starr, you might have missed the link in post #36 that lists all the health reasons to avoid giving cereal in a bottle at night. I don't feel comfortable seeing it advocated , especially on MDC







, when this practice has serious medical implications for many chidren.


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## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

Sorry, I had no idea it was a hazard, I just thought that most people avoided using it because there was no nutritional value. Thanks for the information. Quick question th ough, why do Dr.'s tell you to use it at night? I mean if its a hazard, and now looking back I can see how it could be, why would they tell people to add it to the night time bottle?


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Heck, why do some doctors tell mothers they should start solids at two months or supplement with formula, shouldn't breastfeed or co-sleep?
















I believe at one point in time, though science has disproved it, it was thought that solids helped babies sleep longer...so perhaps that's why some doctors continue to spread misinformation and/or personal opinions disguised as medical advice?!


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

Or would that move on to the "night weaning" category?
I talked to my pedi today (who i love, and is still nursing at 2 years).
She made a couple of recomondations:

1) last nap a little earlier in the afternoon
2) buying 10 or so pacis and putting them around the crib so she can grab one
3) Not going in until she is crying. Sometimes i am JUMPING as soon as I hear a grunt

And I know a lot of you are just thinking, bring DD in bed with you the whole night. I did that for the first 3 months, now I want to have half the night in her crib, and bring her in in the morning. Is possible to have both- or am i sending mixed messages?


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## maryeb (Aug 8, 2005)

I think waiting until your dd is crying would actually make the night worse. She would be fully awake, maybe mad, maybe scared, maybe really really hungry...then you get there and it takes longer to calm and soothe her, thus keeping you both up longer. Is the crib in your room? I don't think the majority of babes sleep all night at 6 months. Mary


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## Heffernhyphen (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
And I know a lot of you are just thinking, bring DD in bed with you the whole night. I did that for the first 3 months, now I want to have half the night in her crib, and bring her in in the morning. Is possible to have both- or am i sending mixed messages?

For me, it's just so much easier (and nicer) to have him snuggled next to me all night. I can literally roll over and let him nurse without either of us having to fully wake up. Especially if I sleep nude, it's just really convenient.


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## aprildawn (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
1) last nap a little earlier in the afternoon

YES! In fact, I wake my DD2 if she sleeps past 4:00pm. It hasn't helped a ton, but some.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
3) Not going in until she is crying. Sometimes i am JUMPING as soon as I hear a grunt

Yeah. I've gotta agree with the PP. Our experience is that if DD2 wakes to the point of crying it'll take longer to settle her back down.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
And I know a lot of you are just thinking, bring DD in bed with you the whole night. I did that for the first 3 months, now I want to have half the night in her crib, and bring her in in the morning. Is possible to have both- or am i sending mixed messages?

I sleep better when DD2 isn't sleeping next to me. What you want is doable. You just might have to hold off a few more months. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but my DD2 is 14 months, and it's only recently that she'll hold off until at least midnight to come to bed with me. She never stays in her own room past 1:30am. It's only in the last couple of months she'll let DH settle her down before the midnight waking if she does happen to wake up.

Each baby is unique. There's no formula for sleeping success. Experiment with different things, read a lot of these threads for ideas, you might want to pick up a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution to jumpstart some ideas, too.

Also, the way we got DD2 to sleep in her room until at least midnight was that I got so sleep deprived from several ear infections DD2 had that I told DH to take over until midnight. He took the baby monitor, I closed our bedroom door and turned on the fan to drown out any noise, and I got to sleep from at least 10pm until midnight for several nights!!! Thankfully she allowed him to settle her back down with relative ease. Otherwise he would have had to wake me up to nurse her. It wouldn't have worked in earlier months, though. Now she rarely wakes before midnight.


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## crissei (Oct 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
And I know a lot of you are just thinking, bring DD in bed with you the whole night. I did that for the first 3 months, now I want to have half the night in her crib, and bring her in in the morning. Is possible to have both- or am i sending mixed messages?

Have you read about side-car-ing the crib? We did, I can nurse DS without having to get out of bed and, still maintain a little personal space.


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## primjillie (May 4, 2004)

Has your little one started solids yet? Maybe he is just hungry. Maybe try a little cereal (or whatever you prefer to start them on) before bed might help? I know my six month grandson was waking once a nite until he started solids before bed and it really helped. He doesn't eat much, but he loves it and it seems to help.


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## RockStarMom (Sep 11, 2005)

First, I would highly recommend cosleeping- why not sidecar the crib?
I cosleep with my daughter- she's just a little older than your little one. Whenever she fusses, I just nurse her back to sleep in the side-lying position. And that's another thing- I nurse her at the first fuss, before she's completely woken up all the way and crying. And if I pick her up or turn a light on or anything, she'll be up and ready to play, but if we just nurse several times throughout the night, she basically "sleeps through the night." And I sleep very well too.








Good luck- and _never_feel guilty about cosleeping or not CIO!


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *la mamita*
safety note: giving rice cereal in a bottle is a choking hazard.

to the OP: your dc sounds normal and hopefully you can get some time to sleep on weekends to catch up. we coslept and my DS still woke up a LOT, but i can't imagine getting out of bed. you've received a bunch of good advice, so i'm not going to repeat everything. hope you can get some rest!


I agree with this poster, no no cereal in the bottle!!

Nursing was a godsend imo.. when he woke up in the middle of the night (which he did till .. oh wait he still does and he is 2 lol) I would roll over, latch him on and go back to bed. Co-sleeping and Nursing saved me from sleep depervation :")


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:

So my DD is just over 6 months. I have been nursing her to sleep after a routine (bath, massage, etc) for her whole life! This is usally about 8pm. Then she wakes at 9, she needs the paci. So we put that back in. Then it is again at 10pm. Paci. 11:30 DH goes in, she doesn't want him, gets fussy. I nurse her again. Then she wakes at 1 or 2 and wants to nurse again! I bring her into bed, she wiggles to nurse about 4 again.
What is going on??








Sounds normal to me.







I heard somewhere it takes 9 days of no sleep whatsoever, not even a wink, before you die. Not sure if that is true, but I think of that sometimes.







My twins are 6 months old and it is just part of life that they wake up to nurse alot.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
And I know a lot of you are just thinking, bring DD in bed with you the whole night. I did that for the first 3 months, now I want to have half the night in her crib, and bring her in in the morning. Is possible to have both- or am i sending mixed messages?

I guess I am/was a part-time cosleeper. I see all kinds of shadings between "100% crib in own room, let 'em cry till they're sick" and "100% sleep in the family bed from day 1." We started with a sidecarred bassinet and both kids were in that for the first 6-ish months. After that, I'd put them down at bedtime in their own bed, and when they woke up, bring them to bed with us. That wake-up got later and later. Now (at 6 and nearly 3) they both sleep most of the night in their own beds but join us around 5am most of the time.

I personally never had a problem with mixed messages. My kids were very different sleepers - #1 cluster fed for HOURS every night for the first 2 months and then started sleeping 8 hour stretches. #2 was up to nurse every 2-3 hours after an initial 4-5 hour stretch until after her first birthday. #1 was a binky user, #2 wanted nothing to do with binkies but found her thumb at 8mos. But *neither* CIO'd. And bedtime has always been a happy time around here -- no fights, resistance, etc.

With the frequent waking at the beginning of the night, I think the folks who sugggested she's trying to tank up and make up for the separation of the day may be onto something. I'd try settling in on the couch or in a comfy rocking chair with everything you need for yourself for a few hours and just let her hang out and nurse? For us, there was always a noticable *difference* between a nursing that was part of a cluster feed ending and a nursing that meant baby was really asleep for a longer stretch. You could feel it in their little bodies when they'd gotten rid of all the tension and need and were really asleep, rather than just it being a lull between two nursing sessions that were actually quite close together.


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## Drewsmom (Jan 12, 2002)

I agree with the last poster. I think that something valid is definitely going on with your little one whether it's hunger or need for company (my first was like this, he had to be a co-sleeper for any sleep to happen...not so with my second who wanted his own space-ie slept better when on his own). Usually it's 9 months that they seem to wake up more like that b/c they are "aware" that mommy is not around. Also I really feel like the conventional wisdom of mainstream society who expect a 4 month old to be able to "sleep through the night" is crazy. Even if you're not an attachment parent kids have stuff that pops up until they are done teething, there are colds, etc. I really liked the book "The no cry sleep solution" b/c it offered me some ideas to try and although it didn't work perfectly it definitely helped and we had longer stretches of sleep. Also sleeping through the night she defines as technically being a 5 hour stretch.

I did discover though with my second child that a body needs at least 2-3 hours stretches if not 4 hours stretches for your mind and body to regenerate for the next day.


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

I totally feel for you mama! Sleep deprivation is used as a torture method in some countries, so yes, it is very unhealthy to go for a long time with little or no sleep. We had a similar situation as the one you are in, when dd was 4 months. I knew she had to nurse at night, but co-sleeping was NOT working. She wiggled and wiggled and it was horrible. I would lie awake staring at the ceiling just waiting for her to wake up again. She was like this from birth. She would sleep AT MOST one hour at a time. I was literally going crazy. I tried putting her in the crib at four months, and it was worse. I would listen to the monitor, and wait for her to get up. She would turn over and I'd rush to her room, hoping to catch her and pat her back to sleep before she woke completely up again. This happened 10-12 times a night, no joke. Finally after 3 weeks, i brought her back into bed with me, but in a different bed than my husband. That was a Godsend. We all slept better. She still wakes up 2-3 times a night and she is 15 months old. Just when I think she is getting better, she will get a cold, or teeth, or whatever. Now we have the crib side carred, and this has been the best situation for all of us. I put her to sleep at about 9:30 (I know later than most, but that was another thing, she is just a night owl...putting her to bed earlier results in more night wakings, so this works best) And then dh and I get about an hour to ourselves. At about 10:30-11 she wakes up for her first night feeding, and then again at 1 and 4 and 7, when we wake up. I understand that co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone, but I think maybe try it again, maybe with the crib side carred. Then you are still right there, but less affected by her tossing. Also, you said she was 6 months right? Has she started solids? If so, could it be her wiggling is from gass or an upset tummy? My dd had HORRIBLE gas pains, that waas what caused her wiggling. And if you haven't started solids, could she benefit from some extra food? Maybe she is genuinely hungry at night? It took my dd three months (from 6-9 months) to really get accustomed to solids. She barely ate any, and it still upset her tummy. Could she be teething? Maybe try some teething tablets? At least they will help calm her down. And though I know you dont want to hear this, but with my dd it was just time. She settled better at night at about 9 months. Her naps were erratic until then too, sometimes sleeping 20 minutes, sometimes 2 hours. She just had/has a hard time sleeping. It is soooooo hard to be patient, to go by her clock, especially when I am soooo tired, but I know in the end, I will be so grateful for having parented her day AND night, for giving her breastmilk, for co-sleeping, for doing what I thought was best for her. I'm still waiting for the night I get more than 3 hours of sleep!


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

SO just when I thought it couldn't get any worse- she sleeps!! Last night it was from 9pm until 5 am!!
One thing that has helped, letting her take a nap on the way home from daycare (aroudn 5:30), then putting her to bed a little later than before- 9pm.
For the first week, if it was less than 4 hours, my DH would go in and put the nuk in and roll her over. If she wouldn't have that, I would nurse her and put her back down in her crib until morning (5-6am) and let her sleep with us the last two hours (she wiggles too much to sleep the whole night in our bed).
She also has taken a genuine interest in solid foods. So this might be helping too.

Not sure if this will work for anyone else- but I am so happy (and rested!)


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

YAY! I hope it continues to work. My DS needed a late afternoon nap in order to fall asleep, all babies are different, so different. DD never napped.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I had major trouble with dd giving her a paci if that thing fell out up she woke







then I would have to nurse her since just putting the paci back in didnt always work. I wish I had thought to wean her off it but it just didnt occure to me (sever ppd along with sever sleep deprivation) she would literaly wake every 5min to hour







for the first year of her life. Her sleep didnt start to improve at all until 18mo when I slowly weaned her off the paci. I couldnt have worked then and I give u many cudos for being able to do it. You r one strong lady.


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## Fiddlemom (Oct 22, 2003)

You won't die from it, and whatever sanity you feel slipping away will come back.

I've been there more than once and I know how completely horrifying it is when you're sleep-deprived. Now for the last year or two, my two boys (who are now 3.5 and nearly 5.5) have been basically sleeping through the night. Maybe that seems incredibly far off but you will survive this and enjoy your rest once again. In the early days after ds2 came I was so sleep-deprived that I felt jealous of all the characters in Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book (and my 2 yo had to read it EVERY NIGHT....it was torture then!) and also of Little Critter's family at the end of Little Critter's The Trip by Mercer Mayer. "...Just in time for a good night's sleep." [pic showing everybody including the cat totally conked out]. AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I send you lots of





















as you are going through this very challenging part of being a parent. And wishes for very deep & restful





















even if it's only for an hour or two at a time right now......


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alijased*
i need help!

So my DD is just over 6 months. I have been nursing her to sleep after a routine (bath, massage, etc) for her whole







life! This is usally about 8pm. Then she wakes at 9, she needs the paci. So we put that back in. Then it is again at 10pm. Paci. 11:30 DH goes in, she doesn't want him, gets fussy. I nurse her again. Then she wakes at 1 or 2 and wants to nurse again! I bring her into bed, she wiggles to nurse about 4 again.

What is going on??

I work full time and now I am sick. I am contemplating a bottle of formula before bed tonight. I can't live like this...







:

All this sounds pretty normal to me. Except I don't give a paci, I nurse every time. Some babies just wake more than others. 6 months really isn't that old. I'm sure its been said already, but a bottle won't help your baby sleep better.


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## Fiddlemom (Oct 22, 2003)

Forgot to mention! 6 months was an EXCRUCIATING time regarding sleep with our first. It was the worst sleep deprivation for us of his whole lifetime. So, you may have a similar pattern and probably can expect some relief in the coming weeks and months; Even if the sleep disruptions recur, they may not be as bad as this time. Hang in there!!!


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## CrunchyKat (Mar 20, 2006)

Sounds pretty normal to me. I felt the same way you did, so I perfected the art of breastfeeding while lying down/sleeping. I promise you, within weeks of learning how to do it, I was no longer exhausted. I don't even notice when she bf's at night, because I just sleep topless. She grabs on when she needs to. But we co-sleep, and it sounded from your post that you don't. Seriously, give it a try. Co-sleeping and bfing at night work great for us and I'm always rested in the mornings.

And I can tell you, I had to supplement for a couple of months and a bottle of formula does NOT make a child sleep longer. She got up just as much, and having to actually get up out of bed and make a bottle while your exhausted is SO MUCH HARDER than rolling over and letting your dc latch on. Good luck mama!


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