# Houskeeping-- What is acceptable/not acceptable?



## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

There is another thread on this board that has a few post regarding cleanliness and CPS that just scares me. I don't consider my home so bad that my kids should be removed, but from the descriptions in those posts, maybe others would have a different idea.

(by acceptable, I mean that you would allow your kiddo to go over for a play date, without crinkling your nose, or coming on MDC to chat about it







)What do you consider acceptable in terms of:

*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.


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## Learning_Mum (Jan 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

*Laundry* - I don't like laundry left around in the living room. Wouldn't stop me from letting my kids play but would annoy me in my own home. Clean laundry is at least put away in the appropriate bedroom, even if it doesn't make it's way into the drawers.

*Floors* - I clean up any crumbs straight away, as well as spilled food. Probably wouldn't want my child playing where food has been left on the floor. Toys are put away two or three times a day here.

*Dishes* - A days worth of dirty dishes and drying dishes is acceptable to me. Maybe that's because I don't have a dishwasher and hate doing dishes though!

*Closets* - I don't care about. Out of sight out of mind is my motto!









*Bathrooms* - I wipe down the vanity every night and try to do a proper clean once a week. If the toilet has stains or anything I will clean them off straight away.

*General clutter* - I keep surfaces clear and make sure I clear them off totally at least once a day. Wouldn't bother me if someone else didn't.

*Windows etc* - I do VERY infrequently. I should do them more but they end up covered in finger prints about five minutes later so I've kind of given up







. Baseboards and windowsills? If there's visible dirt or dust they need to be cleaned, but once again I only do them like twice a year!


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

In my home, if the dishes are rinsed, the trash is out and the bathrooms are clean, I'm cool.

Laundry - Clean laundry is always in the bedrooms, but maybe not in the drawers.

Floors - I keep floors decent. Never leave any crumbs or messes. Vaccuming is done once a week.

Dishes - There are often rinsed dishes in my sink. I don't stress over every little detail. But my kitchen always smells good and the counters are clear and shiny.

Closets - I could care less about. Closets are for stashing clutter 'til u get around to it.

Bathrooms - I must have clean bathrooms at all times. I check and wipe down surfaces just about every time I'm in there.

General clutter - I keep surfaces as clear as possible. Makes all the difference. But I kinda enjoy some clutter in others' homes. It makes it comfy and shows the owner's personality.

Windows etc - I hardly ever do.

Baseboards and windowsills? If I see something dirty, I'll swipe them.

IMO, Unacceptable in others' homes: Funk, nasty bathrooms, nasty floors, trash everywhere, any kind of animal excrement on the floors.


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

My house is much cleaner without a baby! Somehow I just can't keep up as well as I'd like.

Clean laundry in baskets is fine, though it drives me crazy when I can't find time to put it away. I try to pick up dirty clothes from the floor every time I find them.

A day of dishes in the sink is ok, as long as they are mostly rinsed.

Windows constantly have dog nose prints and kid finger prints. Oh well. They sure do look nice when they are clean for 5 minutes.

Baseboards I do once a month or whenever they get nasty. Dogs contribute to this.

We scoop the 2 litter boxes 1-2 times a day and immediately clean up any poo that has landed outside the box. The litter boxes are in a gated off back room where we have things stored in tubs with lids and our bookshelves.

I think it's difficult to keep a small house clean with babies and pets. It's impossible for my white kitchen floor to not have a few dirty spots! I vacuum the entire house almost daily, and spot clean the floor between mopping every 1-2 weeks.

The bathroom always seems dirty too, but I try to keep the counter wiped down and gross spots out of my toilet. I deep clean it once a week or so.

I'm fine with a house looking lived in as long as it isn't down right nasty, smelly, or filthy.


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## VroomieMama (Oct 9, 2008)

Honestly, I feel like the other poster in other thread had exaggarated quite a bit. Maybe she wasn't but I have had a CPS coming in my home unexpectedly before for a situation not related to tidiness. CPS asked if she could investigate my whole house and she said my house was acceptable and safe enough for our children. She found nothing hazardous.

I had some dirty dishes in my sink.
Some toys on the living room floor.
My dd's room was kinda messy with toys and her clothes on floor.
The laundry room had clothes waiting to be washed and the cat litter box had some lumps in it.
One bedroom was used for storage.
Bathrooms was in need of some cleaning.

The entire house was chlid-proofed.

Maybe some locations are more stricter than the others. I don't know.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

I guess I'm not worried about cps exactly, thank god, but I think my idea of what is normal I think is very skewed.

Our floor and counters have food crumbs or spots on them. They do not get wiped/swept/vacuumed everyday. Our bedrooms/bathrooms have clothes on the floor. about half the closets are not usable. (for example, you can't walk into our walk in master closet.). At least one seat on my sofa has stuff on it at any given time. Our clean clothes are in baskets in the master bedroom. I've always been messy, but things have gotten much worse since I went back to work after DS (maybe around 4 months, and then again when I got pregnant around 7-8 mos).

I just didn't realize that everyone with kids didn't live this way.


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

Laundry? I prefer that dirty is in the hamper (my 9 year old doesn't understand this one!) and clean is put away. There's a basket next to the fireplace waiting to be folded, but it's not killing me that it's there.

Floors? Main living area/kitchen/dining room, I expect spotless. Vacuumed every day at least. Kid's rooms, full cleaning once a week, cleaned up before bed, vacuumed at least a few times a week.

Dishes? Never left anywhere but the dishwasher. I hate a messy kitchen and can't relax if there's a mess in my kitchen.

Closets? Ummm, they are messy. I try, but I'm so damn busy keeping up my other insane standards that I don't ever get to them. But they aren't in my line of vision all day like everything else so I don't much care.

Bathrooms? Wiped down daily, floor every few days and shower cleaned once a month. My bathroom gets cleaned less because I don't pee all over the damn place.

General clutter? Dining room table is our clutter spot. I go through it every few days and toss/file/straighten. I hate it. Counters and the rest of the tables are clear. The rest of the clutter either goes back to the kid's rooms or in the trash.

It sounds like my house would be really clean, but it's still not up to my standard. My family doesn't like me










































when it is as clean as I like it, so i live within a range of happy for all of us.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

My ex called CPS on me vindictively when we separated.

They showed up and my house was not filthy, not cluttered etc, but the woman wanted to create a case for investigation so I was faulted for clean laundry in the dryer
litter box in need of scooping (I did it twice a day)
a 'white substance' on the carpet (baking soda- I'd sprinkled to freshen and was just about to vacuum)

I was bullied and threatened and they *did* take my child in that moment. I had her back by nightfall- and I was issued an apology eventually, but it was a terrible experience, and my house really was not a mess- in any way, shape or form.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

what i do in my own home isn't what i expect other families to do. and depending on my mood some stuff in my house isn't how i would like it.
all of what you mentioned wouldn't bug me at all in a friends house. it isn't what i do at my house, but i could care less if that is what happens at someone else's house.
something that would bug me... infested with spiders! lol other then that, i don't really care. i have friends who are super super neat and some that are not. it isn't something i spend alot of time thinking about.

h


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## peainthepod (Jul 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
I guess I'm not worried about cps exactly, thank god, but I think my idea of what is normal I think is very skewed.

Our floor and counters have food crumbs or spots on them. They do not get wiped/swept/vacuumed everyday. Our bedrooms/bathrooms have clothes on the floor. about half the closets are not usable. (for example, you can't walk into our walk in master closet.). At least one seat on my sofa has stuff on it at any given time. Our clean clothes are in baskets in the master bedroom. I've always been messy, but things have gotten much worse since I went back to work after DS (maybe around 4 months, and then again when I got pregnant around 7-8 mos).

I just didn't realize that everyone with kids didn't live this way.

Speaking for myself, this would drive me absolutely bonkers. Not as the parent of one of our children's playmates, mind you, but as someone who had to live there.

Food attracts vermin and also smells bad, which would bother me. I don't vacuum every day but it takes about 4 seconds to wipe the crumbs off the kitchen counter or blot them up with a damp paper towel or dish rag. Same for things like drabs of mustard or greasy little handprints. If you take care of it right after it happens, it never gets overwhelming. You just have to get into the habit of doing it right then (which is also a valuable skill to teach kids).

Unusable closets--what's the point? I would go in there one Saturday and pull out _everything_. Then I'd start cataloguing things for a garage sale or a charitable donation. Why keep stuff around if it's cluttering your closets? Obviously you're not using it, so it shouldn't be in the house. Or if it's something you want to store long-term (like heirlooms and such) then you could store it in cheap Rubbermaid bins labeled with masking tape and Sharpie. But just having a bunch of junk piled in closets...no, no, no ack I'm getting anxious just thinking about it!









The clean clothes would bother me because why can't they go into the proper drawers just as easily as a basket? But that's not a hygiene issue like the food or cluttered closets. The sofa seat being occupied would annoy me because I hate clutter but again, not a huge deal as long as it's not something dangerous or gross.

I guess for me, the real dealbreakers would be filth versus mess. Filth is old food, pet feces and urine, months or years' worth of pet hair, nasty bathrooms, mold and mildew, roaches/mice/rats, etc. Mess is just a bunch of random stuff that's not where it belongs. One is unacceptable and I wouldn't let my child play around it; the other is not really my business or problem (but would still drive me insane in my own home).

As for CPS...I'm a cynic, I guess. I feel like no matter how clean your house is, if CPS has it in for you, they're going to find a reason. Certainly not being a slob helps, but I don't think being tidy makes you immune from CPS harassment if you get someone who really wants to make you miserable.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

peainthepod said:


> Food attracts vermin and also smells bad, which would bother me. I don't vacuum every day but it takes about 4 seconds to wipe the crumbs off the kitchen counter or blot them up with a damp paper towel or dish rag. Same for things like drabs of mustard or greasy little handprints. If you take care of it right after it happens, it never gets overwhelming. You just have to get into the habit of doing it right then (which is also a valuable skill to teach kids).


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

*Laundry*? Mine is either put in baskets or put away- this is my weakest area, really. If it is in baskets though, the basket is on top of the dryer waiting to go be put away, and everything is folded.
*Floors*? I have kids on the floor constantly. They have to be clean enough to eat off of because- really- they are.







So many toys go from the floor to the mouth to the floor to the mouth that I clean them at least daily.
*Dishes*? No more than a meal's worth in the sink. I try to keep the clean dishes cleared out of the dishwasher, but if i don't get to it right away, I rinse and put dishes in the sink until I can transfer them to the dishwasher.
*closets*? I clear them out as much as possible. The closet in the master bedroom is full, but that's the only one and that holds *everything* I can't find a better place for. I need to go through it and toss stuff.
*Bathrooms*? Cleaned daily. I can't *stand* a dirty bathroom.
*General clutter*? All surfaces must be clear or almost clear. Visual clutter makes me feel claustrophobic.
*windows, baseboards* Ugh- windows- I need to do more often, same with baseboards. I get to them maybe once a month?

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.[/QUOTE]


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## homemademom (Sep 25, 2009)

I wouldn't care if someone's clean laundry was out. I stash mine in the master bedroom personally, but it rarely gets folded the day it's washed.

I hate crumbs on the floor and on the counter, so I do sweep at least under the table everyday and wipe down the counters, table and chairs.

I don't bat an eye when a few toys are lying around. I usually try to gather them up and put them at the bottom of the stairs to be carried up, but with kids, toys are always getting moved around. Dirty clothes on the floor bother me. I must toss them into a basket in the laundry room.

Dishes get washed the same day or at least rinsed and ready to put in the dishwasher. I don't like dirty dishes strewn around the kitchen. It feels much better when they're all by the sink waiting to be washed.

I try to keep closets somewhat organized, but it's a constant battle. I try to do a major straightening at least once a month.

Bathrooms are deep cleaned at least every other week. During the week, I wipe down the counters if they've gotten yucky (don't like toothpaste, hair and water spots all over the place). Same with toilet, I'll swish it if it needs it.

I've got a couple clutter zones. They bug me and I'm always trying to tame them, but the end of my counter is a paper magnet!

I'm a little weird about baseboards (my own personal thing), but I do wipe them down in the bathrooms when I clean them and every other month or so, I try to wipe down the ones in the rest of the house. My house growing up had years of nasty stuff on them to the point that they couldn't be cleaned even if we'd wanted to. I don't want mine to get that way.

So, these are all my personal standards and I don't really project them on to other people. The only thing that would make me a little reluctant would be clearly unsanitary bathrooms and kitchens.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaofthree* 
what i do in my own home isn't what i expect other families to do. and depending on my mood some stuff in my house isn't how i would like it.
all of what you mentioned wouldn't bug me at all in a friends house. it isn't what i do at my house, but i could care less if that is what happens at someone else's house.
something that would bug me... infested with spiders! lol other then that, i don't really care. i have friends who are super super neat and some that are not. it isn't something i spend alot of time thinking about.

h

Same here. There's a *lot* of room between my personal standards and what I would find "unacceptable" for a friend's house. As long as it's a friendly, loving home and there aren't feces or vermin around, I'm cool with my kids playing at a messy house.


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## canadiannancy (Feb 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 

*Laundry*?dirty is suposed to all go in the laundry pile in the basement and is 90%of the time. clean is often in baskets , but washed and dried, just not put away
*Floors*? washed /vacuumed everyday. Still never seems clean enugh, but done everyday, with steam cleaner and vacuum
*Dishes*? usually a days worth rinsed but dirty in sink/beside(no dishwasher)
*closets*? mostly usable, making good use of tupperware bins
*General clutter*? big problem with that, I usually have some paper/clutter around my desk area, until filing
*windows, baseboards* seasonal....only a few times pert year.

With my house having no garbage inside, next to no dirty clothes, clean fed children , my kids were removed by the equivalent of cps. They said clutter alone was unacceptable, one comment was actually I had too much furniture in my living room(hodge podge since I am pretty poor and had two armoire type things in the living room to store electronics and toys and one dresser to store diaper/toiletry baby needs(with three kids I had in diapers at the time. So not only did they have a problem with clutter, but my decorating! (Which mind you, not perfect but functional and the best we could do)

Granted the kids got returned in a week, but that was a very very very long week. So I never feel like my house is good enough now.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

I think the issue is that there really is little recourse if you are targetted for some reason or another.

Also, some places, CPS will fabricate things to create evidence should they need it later. One claim they fabricated against us was that dd had head lice. They did not know that her grandfather is an entomologist. Furthermore, I took her *that day* to a pediatrician to be checked, and she was also cleared of them there.

I think that in the VAST majority of cases it is fair and reasonable, and it is better to err on the side of caution but if you find someone on a power trip, you just have to jump through the hoops.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Laundry? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
Floors? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
Dishes? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
closets? How cluttered can they be? stuffed,* or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.

Everything I highlighted is our house to a T.
Bathroom- I wipe out the sink when it is grungy and keep floor clean...often cluttered with bath tub toys etc though.
Any flat surface is fair game for stuff...no matter how hard we try stuff covers things...tables, shelves etc.
Windows....hmmm spring cleaning time
Baseboards...if I see something I wipe it

I don't sweat the small stuff.
I live by my apron "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life"


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## Mulvah (Aug 12, 2008)

It is interesting what is "normal".







I think my home, in comparison to homes I read about, would be deemed spotless and yet, I often feel like it isn't clean enough. I think it's all about perspective - what you grew up with, what you prefer, priorities, etc.


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## Ellp (Nov 18, 2004)

Good lord, some of you are pretty strict!









At this moment, I have...

-2 loads of clean laundry on the sofa, all folded but not put away
-dinner dishes on the counter
-kitchen floor is a little spotty and a little crumbly from dinner. I typically sweep once a day
-toys are on the floor in the family room
-my sewing stuff is strewn all over the dining room (which we don't actually use, its my craft area)
-bathrooms are reasonably clean
-Kitchen is almost spotless (if you don't consider the dirty dishes from dinner, which was a half hour ago)
-Garbage and recycling are taken out
-Closets are neat

In my defence, or maybe I should say proudly... I homeschool both kids, do the majority of the housework, and we were away all long weekend (Cdn Thanksgiving), got back late yesterday, and were out doing school stuff all day. I haven't been able to catch up.

It would take ALOT to make my radar go up if I was in someone else's house and they were messy. I would have to notice ancient stains/spills that were never wiped, piles of crumbs on the floor, evidence of mice/cockroaches, and a general bad smell of the house that never goes away before I'd be leary.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Same here. There's a *lot* of room between my personal standards and what I would find "unacceptable" for a friend's house. As long as it's a friendly, loving home and there aren't feces or vermin around, I'm cool with my kids playing at a messy house.

yeah... I guess I'm kind of wondering what you find unacceptable at a friends house.

I had an aunt growing up whose house was always dirty. Like, I don't want to use the bathroom here dirty. I never thought I would get that bad, but my bathroom kind of looks like that now.


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## applecider (Jul 16, 2005)

That's funny, I was just reading that other post thinking the exact same thing! According to that post half the people I know would have cps taking their kids away.









*Laundry* Always in a state of unfinished-ness. Maybe some clothes on the floor, hamper never empty, sometimes all the clothes are put away.
*Floors* crumbs frequently, I don't sweep every day







, spots here and there that get wiped up sometimes with a kitchen rag on it's way to the laundry
*Dishes* do them all maybe every other day? Try to rinse them off daily and at least pick them up off the table.
*closets* don't have any!
*Bathrooms* picked up, cleaned maybe once a week.
*General clutter* lots of clutter.
*windows, baseboards* don't clean too often, we are in the midst of remodel so no baseboards







. Windows when they starts looking super grimy.

Now after reading that, many of you may think I'm a total slob, and maybe I am, I'm sure my DP would be happy if it was tidier/cleaner around here. I go through spurts where I will be super cleanly for awhile and then totally slack for awhile. Depending on my state of motivation or depression. I tend to need to see a big mess before I can be sufficiently motivated to clean it up. My mother cannot understand how I ended up like this. I do clean quite well when people are coming over.







I would like to have a neat and tidy house like most of you seem to have, but I just can't find it within me. I guess the fact that some parts of the house are not finished yet makes me not want to clean them because they will still look yucky so what's the point? Currently the couch cushions are all over the living room and the train tracks are all over the adjacent room. And I probably won't pick them up before bed because I don't feel like it, they'll just be all over the floor again tomorrow. And don't have the energy to make my 5yo do it.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

i guess mine would be infested with vermine. although i had a friend who had a mice issue and they always had a clean house. they ended up having to restore everything to keep them out.
i don't know. i have yet to meet someone whose house was so bad i wouldn't visit or let my kids play there. for a a "tidy" house is easier to relax in, but what i consider tidy may not be what others consider tidy. what you described would be fine for me.
right no my house is a bit messy for my taste (for it being MY house) but if i went to someones house that was looking like mine right now i wouldn't even blink an eye.

that is crazy about CPS. goodnight! how can they say you have to have new furniture? i mean you can put food on the table, dress your kids, give them shelter and be a great parent, but they want a nice sofa too? i guess my kids would be gone, our stuff is OLD, some is almost 18 years old. lol (and i am not talking antiques! lol)

h


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## hillymum (May 15, 2003)

Laundry....I almost always have clean laundry folded in piles on the dining room table. They sit there until each child takes his pile upstairs and as I do laundry almost every day there isalmost always going to be new piles waiting to be put away. There is however very little dirty laundry hanging around!

Bathrooms......I hate scrubbing toilets! I totally ignored them for 2 weeks but scrubbed them yesturday. Normally they are really cleaned once a week. The sinks get wiped down after each use (ha ha ha, yea right!), sorry, they are supposed to be, but boys, you know?...A really good clean once a week and a quick scrub whenever I have time.

Kitchen.....My kitchen is well loved (used). i've at least taught the kids to put dirty dishes above the dishwasher or in the sink. The kids empty the dishwasher every day so thats a controled mess. Hand washing gets done when there is a decent amount so it's worth doing. My counters are spotless and cleaned once a day, but I swear you wouldn't know it!

Closets are organised and tidy, just because we have loads of them.

general clutter....I hate clutter so I go through piles and chuck trash out as often as I can. Kids toys are put into baskets frequently but I don't freak out if there is a pile to be picked up. i also don't freak out if the sofa becomes a fort!

Floors....I have 3 boys, 3 cats and a dog. I vacuum everywhere on the main floor every day, and I swear within 2 hours it looks just as bad as it did before my effort! But then again we have a cheap nasty carpet with stains so that might contribute.

Windows......are done by my 6 yr old. He either cleans them or decorates them. Either way we can still see out of them so I am not worried. Oh, and we practice spelling on them with markers as well.

Baseboards.....I really should teach the kids to clean those one day!


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Quote:

Laundry? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
Floors? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
Dishes? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
closets? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
Bathrooms?
General clutter? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
windows, baseboards etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.
Any one of these things might not bother me. I'm not even sure how to deliniate what would make me uncomfortable, but it would definitely be along the lines of general clutter, if that general clutter looked to me to involve food and dirty stuff lying around.

I absolutely don't care about windows and baseboards. I clean them when I can't ignore them anymore.









Dirty dishes would bother me if I noticed they were habitually left all over the house, and left to sit for long periods of time. Food remnants attract pests of various kinds, and grow mold, and other interesting stuff.

Laundry strewn all over the place would fall under my general clutter category, but would only really bug me if it was obviously dirty.

Don't care about closets. Shove it in and close the door, I'm good.









Floors. Spots and stuff don't bother me. Sticky foodstuff and crumbs all over would, again because food remnants attract icky critters if they're left to sit there.

Bathrooms need to not be filthy.









What I do:
Laundry: usually run it all through once a week. Wash and dry one day, fold and put away the next.
Floors: Vacuum high traffic areas whenever necessary. I *hated* having a carpeted dining room because I *hated* gunk on the floor and with three little kids it was just impossible to avoid.







Because I hate gunk on the floor, my kitchen floor is washed once a day, at least.
Dishes: I try to wash after each meal (we dont' have many dishes to begin with). If I can't, all dirty dishes go into the dishpan in the sink and get washed the next meal.
Closets: No clutter. We try to keep a minimum of stuff, so they mostly just have clothes in them.
Bathrooms: Wipe down sink and toilet daily (takes 30 seconds). Scrub out tub when it's grimy. If I get behind, I take the time on Saturday to just get it deep cleaned.
General clutter: Makes me anxious and cranky, I try to avoid it.
Windows/baseboards: I ignore them.









ETA: I have met a few people whose houses I would not want my children running free in. One family had several hoarders, and loooved to organize and constantly try to make it "more homey" but it was difficult to walk through, very dusty, had vermin issues, and I always walked out feeling itchy and jumpy. I loved the family. But wouldn't be able to take my kids there. We also used to have neighbors, and the one time they invited us to their house it was very hard to be comfortable. They had cats and the smell was overwhelming, hair all.over.everything and again I was extremely anxious and physically uncomfortable. They were the opposite of hoarders, there was very little *stuff* in the house but while it looked tidy it was smelly, and surfaces were very grimey and sticky.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

My home has to pass licensing inspection for daycare....

*Laundry*? I do a load of laundry every day. So everyday until naptime there is a load of laundry waiting to be folded and put away on my bed. But it's only one load and it gets put away at naptime. There is also always a load in the washer and a load in the dryer. I cycle everything through once every morning.
*Floors*? floors in the main living areas and kitchen get vacuumed or swept once a day, and spot cleaned as things are spilled. They get mopped once a week.
*Dishes*? Never more than one meal's worth of dishes in the sink.....usually it's just pans because I empty the dishwasher everymorning while I make breakfast and pack lunches...then dirties get added as the day goes along and I wash pans and turn the dishwasher on before bed.
*closets*? Out of sight out of mind, lol. They get tidied up once per season usually.
*Bathrooms* toilets and sinks are wiped down daily. Mirrors cleaned once a week, tub/shower once a month (I have a spray that gets misted after every shower to keep it clean).
*General clutter*? kitchen table is decluttered daily so we can eat meals there. dresser tops and nightstands get pretty bad, LMAO
*windows, baseboards* windows and window coverings get cleaned once per season. Baseboards are the same, also behind the fridge and vacuum the fridge coils.

My garage????don't even go there...


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Our house is kept pretty clean (not always neat, but always clean), but certainly not by any sort of Martha Stewart (or my MIL!) standards.

I stay pretty on top of the kitchen. There are often a few dishes in the sink, but we use a lot - I do dishes about 3 times a day. I constantly wipe down counters, but if you catch us at the wrong moment it could look pretty bad. I sweep the floors usually once a day, vacuum every few days, dust once a week or so.

Bathrooms are usually pretty good. Sometimes the kids have done something yucky in the sink I haven't seen yet, but otherwise I try to wipe down the sink and counter every day. Toilets get cleaned when they are starting to look unclean, but never are they filthy or stained.

We often have stacks of folded, clean laundry in the appropriate bedroom waiting to get put away, but never ever dirty laundry spread around. We use hampers.

There will often be toys on the floors, but I usually have the kids pick up when they are done, or I pick up in the evening. We have a rec room downstairs, however, that does look like a toy chest exploded.









There is often a small pile of papers/magazines on either the kitchen island or the dining room table, but otherwise I don't let too much junk accumulate. My office is kind of a paper disaster right now though, and I would be seriously embarassed to have anyone see it.

There have been two instances of a friend's house (two different friends) being too dirty for us to hang out in, and both times it was pretty bad. Really old crusty dishes all over the place, dirty floors, pet hair, overflowing litter boxes, dirty laundry scattered all about, etc. I just can't deal with that. I don't care if your house is messy, and your mirrors don't have to sparkle, but if it's getting grungy or smelly or food/pet messy, then I'm probably going to avoid coming over.

As far as CPS, I'm assuming it has a lot to do with the individual caseworker and circumstances.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)

If it must sit around for a day (like today when we just got back and had 4 loads to do in a day), it's in baskets in the master bedroom. At least out of view of company.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).

I have a shedding dog and 2 kids. Generally this means no crumbs, but some dog fur. I aim for sweep once a day, but it's really once every other. Toys are fine during the day, but must be put away by bedtime.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)

Dishes are also gathered by the end of the day, but nothing other than water is allowed out of the dining room/kitchen other than a rare treat to eat snack in the living room or breakfast in bed. Dishes can be dirty and in the sink during the day. They go in the dishwasher by nightfall. I LIKE to empty in the morning and load throughout the day, but I'm working toward that as a habit.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?

How many closets are there? I need some space to work with day to day. But if there's closet space and drawer/office space available for what needs to be put away, then if other closets are cluttered/packed with storage, so what?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Bathrooms*?

Clean. But as I keep telling the kids "The bathroom is NOT a playspace. You have the whole apartment to play in." There's some kid drawings in bath crayon on the shower walls. It'll wash off, but I don't mind if it stays a few days.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?

We have clutter spots--top of the bookcase, office desk top, closet under the stairs. I don't think any are too bad though I need to clear them out. It isn't days of work for me. Kitchen table and counters are an "every night" chore here.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

We're in a highrise, so windows get done by the building about 1/year. You can't do them yourself. Baseboards I try to do 1/month or so. DD thinks it's fun to run a baby wipe over them, so sometimes they're clean when the floor is not.

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.[/QUOTE]

I only base playdate situations on things related to safety-- drug-addict or drunk, hoarded objects that could be choking or falling hazards, unsecured guns or dangerous objects, chemicals/dangerous chemicals unsecured and/or used right next to young children or potential sexual predators/abusers/some definitely major issue. Or it would have to involve feces other than "the dog had an accident and we just discovered it less than 10 minutes ago;" typical kitty litter changed daily-ish; or baby/toddler diaper accident less than 10 minutes ago.

I refuse to visit or have visit us anyone using the CIO method actively at the time they are visiting. (Yes, it's happened. SMILs relative expected me to listen to her tiny infant scream herself to sleep in a dark room, replete with puking."







) That's unacceptable!


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

The way my house looks really varies during the course of the day/week. For example, the kitchen gets totally cleaned before bedtime. The dishwasher gets loaded and started, anything that needs to be washed by hand gets washed, the counter tops all get wiped down, and the trash is taken out. But at any given moment during the day it could be totally trashed in there!! I try to keep it up, but...........

As far a friend's house, I'm pretty mellow. I think it should be uncluttered enough that the kids have space to play and clean enough so that I don't feel like my kids are at risk from eating a snack or needing to use the bathroom. I've only ever walked into one home and felt that it was "too bad." There wasn't any place to sit and it smelled wierd (like a lot of bad smells had merged together).

But a little laundry on the couch wouldn't upset me, even though I NEVER leave laundry on the couch. I have 2 dogs and a cat -- it would get covered with pet hair!


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

*Laundry?* Leaving clean laundry on the couch for days seems really weird for me. Maybe because I either sort it as I take it out of the dryer, or do it on my bed. Sometimes it spends a few days on the armchair in my bedroom before it all makes its way again (particularly if I'm sorting during naptime and don't want to go into my kids rooms, and then forget until I go to bed, when again I don't want to go into their rooms, and sometimes it takes a day or two until I remember at a time when everyone is awake!). But why on earth would you have piles of laundry on your couch? Maybe I just have a small couch, but couches are for sitting on, not for laundry hampers.
*Floors?* No animal feces or dead animals, please. I live in an old house with wood floors and dust bunnies are a way of life. I think it would have to be a tumbleweed-bunny before I raised an eyebrow at someone else's house.
*Dishes?* In the sink. If they're overflowing onto the counters, it's time to do the dishes. Or at least stack them more efficiently in the sink. Dirty dishes should be out of sight out of mind imo








*closets?* I'm not sure it's ever even occured to me to poke into someone else's closets to see what they look like.
*Bathrooms?* No visible green mold, please.
*General clutter?* I like seeing clutter in other people's houses, because it makes me feel better about my own







That said, I'd like there to be a place on the table or counter for me to put my drink. And I'd like to not have to worry about walking through a room without knocking over your piles.
*windows, baseboards etc?* I'm not sure I understand the question. "Clean" "windows"? What is this of which you speak?


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## JayGee (Oct 5, 2002)

We're selling our house right now, so I keep up with it a little better than usual







.

Laundry ~ I hate to fold, so there are usually unfolded baskets on the floor in the laundry room. When we show the house, I put them in the trunk of the car







. But once they are folded (every 3 days or so), I put them right away.

Floors ~ swept daily, mopped/vacuumed 1x a week at least

Dishes ~ always done. I HATE having dirty dishes in the sink. DH is totally compulsive about this too. He likes the sink sparkling white and does a better job on it than I ever could









Closets ~ organized, clean. But I have a huge storage unit rented right now to store all the crap that used to fall out of them before we put the house on the market! Buyers DO look in closets (and medicine cabinets, and refrigerators, and in under sink cabinets).

Bathrooms ~ wiped down every day, cleaned 1x a week

Clutter ~ I have a large wheeled rubbermaid thing with 4 drawers. ALL paper goes in there, so I have no clutter. Just don't look in the white thing







.

Windows/baseboards ~ I vacuum baseboards when I vacuum floors. Windows get cleaned when my Mom visits, because I don't do windows and she loves to! Actually, I do clean the sliding door windows daily because they get really fingerprinty and cat-nosey.


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## kanga1622 (May 23, 2005)

As long as it isn't filthy, I'm okay. My house is cluttered and could use a good sweep in the kitchen but DS is high needs and I've yet to figure out how to sweep while holding him (must learn new carries for my wrap).

We often fold laundry in the living room now so that DS can "help" while he plays so it seems totally normal to me to see baskets of clean clothes waiting to be folded or put away.

Pretty much everything you described seems normal to me except dirty bathrooms - that's my main issue.

We have one family member that I hate to visit because it's gone beyond clutter to hoarder-like status, they have 2 cats that leave hair everywhere so I don't feel like I can ever put DS down as there are visible furballs all over the floor, and the bathtub always looks dirty to me which makes me wonder how often they clean the toilet.


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

The only situation that would cause me to call CPS would be something out of Hoarders - seriously.

That does not mean it is the standard I keep my house to, but I acknowledge different people have different standards, and that a snapshot of someones house at any given moment is not necessarily how it is always kept.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
I guess I'm not worried about cps exactly, thank god, but I think my idea of what is normal I think is very skewed.

Our floor and counters have food crumbs or spots on them. They do not get wiped/swept/vacuumed everyday. Our bedrooms/bathrooms have clothes on the floor. about half the closets are not usable. (for example, you can't walk into our walk in master closet.). At least one seat on my sofa has stuff on it at any given time. Our clean clothes are in baskets in the master bedroom. I've always been messy, but things have gotten much worse since I went back to work after DS (maybe around 4 months, and then again when I got pregnant around 7-8 mos).

I just didn't realize that everyone with kids didn't live this way.


Well, I have to say, we go through 2 or three days at a time like this, and then 2-3 days of the house being super clean. It starts to pile up , and I get busy. Then I spend about 4 hours to clean it all up. My lifestyle is just not set up to be able to clean as I go. If Im washing the dishes, and the baby starts crying, I take a break. Alot of times when my break is over, my husbnd is getting home, or its time for me to go to my neighboors house (I personal chef for my neighboor who is 95), or the goats need to be fed, ect. There are only so many hours in a day and Im not going to organize my day just so I can clean up after myself constantly. Id rather let it pile up and spend a few hours at once to get it clean again.

I put things in huge piles instead of on the furniture though. I cant stand not having a place to sit down. But Im right there with you on the clean clothes thing. I can never seem to put them away.


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## GardenStream (Aug 21, 2007)

Apparently CPS can't come here either.

Laundry? if it's dirty it's in the hamper or thrown at the bottom of the basement stairs, clean is always put away

Floors? 2 dogs and 2 kids so there are probably crumbs somewhere, but I sweep when I see them. There are toys on the floor of the play area, but that's in the great room so it's very walkable and not cluttered. The floor is entirely picked up and swept once or twice a week.

Dishes?dishes go directly into the dishwasher, hand wash items might sit in the sink for up to 12 hours. I do the dishes when I'm fixing meals.

closets? I don't mind a little clutter, but not packed full to the point that anything would fall out.

Bathrooms? No stains or spills. I don't care about a little dust, but no toothpaste gunk or hair.

General clutter? clutter that belongs in the room is OK as long as there is still usable space.

windows, baseboards etc? yeah, I don't do those. They get dusted when I notice they're starting to look a little fuzzy. I'm guessing twice a year they get dusted.

Other people's homes - Clutter is fine as long as it doesn't look like a safety hazard. I'm pretty lenient about how clean a house is kept. Food and dirty plates strewn around would be OK once, but if I noticed it repeatedly, I would be a little concerned. Smell matters most. If I walk into a house that smells musty, like animals or funky, then I'm much more concerned.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama* 
Well, I have to say, we go through 2 or three days at a time like this, and then 2-3 days of the house being super clean. It starts to pile up , and I get busy. Then I spend about 4 hours to clean it all up. My lifestyle is just not set up to be able to clean as I go. If Im washing the dishes, and the baby starts crying, I take a break.


I hear you on this! Having a baby is a huge deterrent to having the house as clean as I want on a regular basis. You can't just dive in and do stuff all the time. You have to work with baby!

I have a routine of doing the upstairs cleaning on Mondays, downstairs on Tuesdays, Kitchen on Wednesdays and Thursday to get "projects" done (clean out a closet, detail clean the sliding doors and tracks, etc) Friday is desk day and grocery day.

It sounds lofty and I try to stick to it but most nights I don't get the kitchen cleaned up after dinner. No matter how happy the baby is to play during the day, she just needs me all evening. I really try to start dinner early so clean up will be easier but I don't ever feel like I keep up the way I want.

As she gets older, I will be able to stick to my routine better.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Same here. There's a *lot* of room between my personal standards and what I would find "unacceptable" for a friend's house. As long as it's a friendly, loving home and there aren't feces or vermin around, I'm cool with my kids playing at a messy house.

I agree.

My house varies day to day in cleanliness. I've been so swollen and miserable lately that it's a lot messier than usual and drives me insane. But when your feet are swollen like balloons the risks outweigh the benefits of picking up after the kids for the 700th time that day. My kids have also gotten substantially more messy as they get older. The oldest kid helps out a lot but for some reason the whole "pick up after yourself" thing is completely unknown to them. My son's room is frankly a pig sty. No food or gross stuff-just stuffed animals and legos EVERYWHERE that is probably a danger to walk through. And they act like I beat them when I ask them to at least make a path-we have to get through his room for one of our bathrooms, our closet, and our attic.









I will tell you what, though. I will never live in a house without carpeting again. I used to love hardwood floors but our soft 100 year old pine floors show every speck of dirt and every tiny little scratch and make it look like crap. Carpet is a thousand times easier and our next house *will* have it even though I specified wood floors this time. Clean up is a lot easier with carpet.

*Laundry?* I do a load every day at least, but if it's been a long week or I've been miserable, you'll find a couple loads on my bed folded waiting for kids to put away-it's always put away that day, though. I do have to sleep.









*Floors?* Like I said above-I try to keep the floors clear, but with 5 cats, a dog, and 4 kids, it's usually impossible. There's always a few toys somewhere or math manipulatives or something. I vacuum about every other day for the pet hair and crumbs but within 10 minutes of vacuuming, there's already dust bunnies.

*Dishes?* Dh is supposed to deal with dishes. But he never, ever, ever cleans the ones that don't go in the dishwasher and usually doesn't get around to doing the dishes until night time, so there are often dishes on the counter. I do them when I have time or energy, but I can barely reach the sink over my belly and my feet swell like clown shoes when I try, so this is painful for me. I have had to start dealing with the pain to finish getting them clean at night and cleaning the sink and counters since nobody else will do it.

*Bathrooms* Clean enough. Our hall bathroom that most visitors use is usually the cleanest, though my toddler often leaves random clothes in there and a toy occasionally. It's wiped down when it looks dirty or every day if I have energy. The big bathroom has the cat litter box that I clean every time I get a chance but we can't figure out how to keep cat litter off the tile floors that gets tracked through. We've tried about everything. The bathtub walls are continuously written on with bath crayons so look dirty, but are not. This room is trouble for me since the kids go through there all the time leaving toys (it's in between their rooms) and never clean up after themselves.

General clutter? I try to declutter every night from homeschool stuff left everywhere-we do schoolwork through the day so there are always some sort of books, dry erase markers, or manipulatives out somewhere. But we clean the table every night for dinner and pick up before bedtime. Right now my dresser is cluttered because there are 3 belly casts on it awaiting reinforcement and we have only 2 closets in the entire house, so storage is severely lacking. I hate it. We do have a laundry closet in our room, but it's not big enough or anything for our clothes, so we also use ds's small/medium closet for our clothes. We have a ton of birth and baby stuff out everywhere right now, too, that will go away after the birth (obviously). My girls usually do a decent job decluttering their dressers and such, but my son's...the child needs to get rid of half of his stuff. Baseboards are cleaned when I vacuum and washed a couple of times a year-they are almost entirely radiators, though. The kids closets are cluttered but I go through them every week. They have yet to figure out the whole "dirty laundry in the basket and pick up clean clothes that fall off hangers" thing and it drives me insane. Especially since we have to share. I really am pretty OCD and hate messes and clutter, but this pregnancy has slowed me down a lot!

Now my yard is a different matter-I do not have the energy to clean it up atm so there are toys everywhere and my porch is covered in outdoor toys and leaves.


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## Aeress (Jan 25, 2005)

CPS- they will find something if they want to find something, in general they are looking for fairly decluttered and clear pathways. When they showed up at my house (







thanks annoyed plumber who was having a bad day and took it out on us) they initial workers mentioned "clear pathways" as a big one. The day they showed up my kids and mil had just returned from vacation and we had a leak we were dealing with. So we cleaned and decluttered big time. I did have a backlog of dishes due to the leak, (see above) and were slowly unpacking. By the time the caseworker returned on Monday, the house was spotless.
The caseworker mentioned she expected the house to look "lived in", which was normal.

In general, I don't mind having laundry hanging around since I have 4 people I doing laundry for. I don't mind dishes in the sink and some clutter. Life happens.

For others- As long as it is fairly safe and generally clean enough, I don't mind my kids playing there.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm a WOHM, so my answers will likely seem gross to many of you. But, keep in mind that we're not home all day, so things don't get dirty as fast. Plus by the time I get home I don't feel like cleaning.

*Laundry?* Is never done. Currently on the futon in the basement next to the dryer there is a load of lights, a load of darks, and a load of diapers. There is probably something in the dryer, too. It completely appalls me that CPS would care about laundry IN THE DRYER. I seriously think that CPS workers should have to carry around pictures of their own houses to remind them of what normal people do.

*Floors?* I have a dog, so not too many crumbs. But, because we have a dog and cat there are usually some fur bunnies hiding in corners and under things. DH does the vacuuming, because I'm allergic. I'd say we vacuum once a week, and maybe run the dust buster over the fur bunnies one other time.

*Dishes?* I have been making an effort to get the kitchen clean as soon as I get home from work. If I start dinner in a clean kitchen I'm more likely to clean as I go and end up with a clean kitchen. Sometimes it does get away from us and we might have the counter right above the dishwasher covered in dishes. We both hate emptying the dishwasher!

*closets?* They're closets. I don't give them too much though. Slightly cluttered, but usable.

*Bathrooms?* The main bathroom gets wiped down when I think about it. That's probably usually twice a week. Now that my post partum hair loss is waning it's not nearly as bad between wipe downs. The tub gets wiped out when I think of it, but I don't really really clean it very often. It needs it now, though, for sure. The toilets are usually something DH does. They don't get cleaned nearly as often as most of you guys seem to- but we're home much less and really, they're toilets. I poop in them. As long as there's nothing obviously growing in there I don't care too much. I do wipe the back of the toilet whenever I wipe the bathroom counters (counters first, then toilets, of course!). The basement bathroom- I have no idea. I rarely go in there. It always has a bit of cat litter on the floor.

*General clutter?* We have a bit of a paper problem. I hate junk mail- it's the source of most of our issues. I need to shred a bunch of stuff. But, I do try to keep it in one of two places- the dining room table next to my computer or over by the front door next to the shredder.

*windows, baseboards etc?,* Do what now? I'm not sure I've ever cleaned a baseboard. The windows desperately need cleaning of cobwebs on the outside. But, I haven't lived anywhere longer than a year since I moved out of my parents' house. So, I'm going to say they get cleaned once a year! I would wipe up obvious spills on them, though.

My biggest battle is dog hair! ARGH! The dog thinks the couch is the best bed, and it makes me crazy. Sometimes I don't want to sit on the couch because there is dog hair on it. But then I realized that I'm not sitting on the couch so that the dog can, and damn it, she didn't pay for the couch! So, we've instituted a doggy couch ban- we'll see how it works.

Also, I hate to dust because it makes me not be able to breathe.

As far as what I would allow DD to play in once she's older- I agree with many of the PPs- mess I'm okay with, filth I'm not. Obvious feces, urine, etc is bad. A slight cat box smell is okay, but an overwhelming ammonia smell is not. A few crumbs here or there I don't mind, but a floor covered in sticky spots and crumbs that appear to have been there a long time I'm less okay with. It would also depend on what rooms were dirty compared to what rooms were going to be used for play.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhiOrion* 

*Bathrooms?* The main bathroom gets wiped down when I think about it. That's probably usually twice a week. Now that my post partum hair loss is waning it's not nearly as bad between wipe downs. The tub gets wiped out when I think of it, but I don't really really clean it very often. It needs it now, though, for sure. The toilets are usually something DH does. They don't get cleaned nearly as often as most of you guys seem to- *but we're home much less and really, they're toilets. I poop in them. As long as there's nothing obviously growing in there I don't care too much.*

*windows, baseboards etc?,* Do what now? I'm not sure I've ever cleaned a baseboard. The windows desperately need cleaning of cobwebs on the outside. But, I haven't lived anywhere longer than a year since I moved out of my parents' house. So, I'm going to say they get cleaned once a year! I would wipe up obvious spills on them, though.

My biggest battle is dog hair! ARGH! The dog thinks the couch is the best bed, and it makes me crazy. Sometimes I don't want to sit on the couch because there is dog hair on it. But then I realized that I'm not sitting on the couch so that the dog can, and damn it, she didn't pay for the couch! So, we've instituted a doggy couch ban- we'll see how it works.


OMG I love you.









I agree on the cleaning windows outside thing. I know they might need done and I do the porch windows, but honestly? I don't have some spiffy huge ladder to clean the outsides of my windows and I know I don't care that much at all!

And the dog hair. o.m.g. We have a lab/bc mix and she sheds more than all 5 of my cats combined-no joke. I hate it. I wish my yard were fenced so I could keep her outside all the time. She drives me nuts and the hair everywhere makes me want to vomit. It's on everything and impossible to clean up. Why did I not know this about lab/bc dogs before they let us get one? That surely would have changed my mind (no offense, dog). Because no matter how clean my house is, it's always filthy to me having this much hair around.


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## mountainfeather (Apr 26, 2010)

The other thread made me really nervous too.

I vacuum or sweep almost every day and mop often but we have a dog who sheds terribly (Great Pyrenees) and long haired cats. So overnight shedding and playing can make the floor look awful by the time you wake up. The cats have a tiff and suddenly there's cat hair all over the place.

Also, anyone who has had pets knows that sometimes they get sick or have accidents and you may not find it for a few hours depending on where in the house it is. It doesn't happen often at all (maybe once every couple of months with 2 dogs and 3 cats, if that), but what if that was the time CPS came?

Laundry is done but we live on a farm so sometimes I'll stockpile clean laundry on a nice day to fold when the weather is less ideal.

My husband can make a bear of a mess processing the garden produce in the kitchen. I mean tomato splattered everywhere, on the floor, pots and pans everywhere, processing equipment... it's cleaned up the same day but what if CPS came in the midst of it and said that the kitchen was unclean?

I do dishes and clean the kitchen constantly, I mean for probably two hours a day, but that is the room the messes get made in (cooking, garden produce etc., so it's a constant battle). How clean it is literally depends on the hour of the day. It's very clean just before I go to bed. Dishes always washed but maybe drying in the rack and not put away.

And we live in a huge old farmhouse so I have been childproofing gradually as DD becomes more mobile. I am with her 100% of the time and use gates and play yards and the lawn... So would CPS get me because the entire house isn't childproofed??? I've been spending about $50-200/month to gradually build up childproofing in the house, gating off pellet stoves, cushioning furniture, buying safer alternatives to things, but CPS would say that's not good enough I suppose?

These threads make CPS sound like a horrible bogeyman who will come and take your child if you so much as dare to live in your house.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhiOrion* 
It completely appalls me that CPS would care about laundry IN THE DRYER. I seriously think that CPS workers should have to carry around pictures of their own houses to remind them of what normal people do.










THIS THIS THIS!


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama* 
There are only so many hours in a day and Im not going to organize my day just so I can clean up after myself constantly. Id rather let it pile up and spend a few hours at once to get it clean again.

This. DH and I both WOTH, and we work different hours. DS1 works different hours from both of us. I'm also a college student. I have a wipe-off board on the side of the fridge that I use to boss everyone around when I'm not home, but it only has about a 50% success rate.

Quote:

I put things in huge piles instead of on the furniture though. I cant stand not having a place to sit down.
There's been a basket of towels sitting on my couch since Monday morning.







It's seldom that more than two people are in the TV room at any given time, so there are still plenty of places to sit. There's also been a load of my white uniforms in the dryer since Monday night. I've been pulling out one complete uniform at a time and ironing on my way to the shower.







DH and I both work in food service and DS works in a factory, so we do a lot of laundry. Much of it sits on top of the dryer, in the dryer, or in baskets in bedrooms.

We keep our kitchen fairly clean, but I probably only sweep every other day. Yeah, there are crumbs. We have teenagers in and out of our house all the time, and they like to snack. I've been living on my own for 20 years and have never had a vermin problem. I would expect that roaches or mice would head for the cat food bowl if they were around, anyway.

Bathroom sinks and the rim of the toilet on the first floor get wiped off when they need it, and scrubbed every so often when I have a day off. DS1 is responsible for his bathroom in the basement, and the half-bath upstairs in the master bedroom isn't used enough to worry about too much.

I have one friend whose house grosses me out, and I try not to spend too much time there. Dog pee on the floor, left to dry, a flea problem, dirty kitchen, etc. My kids are old enough to choose where they spend their time, and they have spent the night there before (they are friends with her children). If they were still little, I'd probably be reluctant to let them stay there.

Among the people I know well, who come from all backgrounds and lifestyles, my housekeeping is middle-of-the-road. I have one friend who loves to clean more than life itself, and another friend who lives like a pig. Most of my friends live similarly to me.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

2XY- a flea problem might also be on my list of places I wouldn't let DD play.

And it's not because I think poorly of people with flea problems (they can happen to anyone) but rather because I don't want her bringing fleas home. *shudder*

And I don't mean one or two fleas, I mean the type of fleas that my DH's college house got. I would go over there in scrubs (was a vet assistant) after work, and since they were solid colored you could just see the fleas all over my legs as soon as I walked in. And considering that I worked at a vet, the fact that I was completely horrified means it was BAD.

Pretty much my male friends in college are a good measure of if I'd let my kid play there. I swear they had a pube carpet on their bathroom floor.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhiOrion* 
2XY- a flea problem might also be on my list of places I wouldn't let DD play.

And it's not because I think poorly of people with flea problems (they can happen to anyone) but rather because I don't want her bringing fleas home. *shudder*

No, I totally understand. My kids travel light. When they stay over somewhere, they don't even bring a backpack with them. When they come home from that particular person's house, shoes stay outside for awhile and clothes go directly into the washer. They don't hang out with those people that much anymore, anyway, and most of the time it's at our house. Really, though....if you have company and those people have fleas at their house, they could be bringing them to you, also.

Quote:

Pretty much my male friends in college are a good measure of if I'd let my kid play there. I swear they had a pube carpet on their bathroom floor.










Yeah, DS1's bathroom can get like that. However, I don't necessarily differentiate between pubes, leg hairs, pit hairs, or goatee hairs. It also doesn't help that his head-hair is past his shoulders, and he sheds like a beast. His bedroom/bathroom is in our finished basement....RI had massive flooding this past spring and our basement had a couple inches of water in it. The amount of hair that floated out of nooks and crannies was repulsive.


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## yeahwhat (Feb 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

Laundry. Hmm. I don't have a problem with clean in baskets, in dryer, stacked on the dresser to be put away. Once you have on the couch for days I get icked out because I know here that nothing would be left undisturbed on the couch for days and they'd be trailed all over the floor, sat on, stepped on, etc. Yuck.

Dishes. Dishes in the sink and drying are fine. Dirty dishes stacked all over the place so that food prep must be difficult = yuck.

Closets. Um, I don't look in other people's closets. Out of sight out of mind.

Bathrooms. Gross and dirty is a huge deal breaker, but I don't expect perfection either. We have 6 people using one bathroom here, and it doesn't stay totally clean for long even though the sink, floor and toilet are wiped down daily.

General clutter. Some clutter is fine. Clutter that prevents the house from being usable is bad. Personally, I hate clutter, it makes me anxious and annoyed when it's in my own house, and I'm constantly fighting it. At other people's houses, it annoys me but I wouldn't stop my kids from playing there unless it was also dirty or dangerous.

Windows/baseboards. As long as you can see out of them, I don't generally notice how clean other people's windows are. You can't really clean outside windows here for close to 6 months of the year anyway.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)

Those three would be unacceptable in MY house, but as for playdates, as long as it's not a danger to my child's health and/or safety, I really don't give a rat's @ss.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhiOrion* 
I'm a WOHM, so my answers will likely seem gross to many of you. But, keep in mind that we're not home all day, so things don't get dirty as fast. Plus by the time I get home I don't feel like cleaning.

*Laundry?* Is never done. Currently on the futon in the basement next to the dryer there is a load of lights, a load of darks, and a load of diapers. There is probably something in the dryer, too. It completely appalls me that CPS would care about laundry IN THE DRYER. I seriously think that CPS workers should have to carry around pictures of their own houses to remind them of what normal people do.

*Floors?* I have a dog, so not too many crumbs. But, because we have a dog and cat there are usually some fur bunnies hiding in corners and under things. DH does the vacuuming, because I'm allergic. I'd say we vacuum once a week, and maybe run the dust buster over the fur bunnies one other time.

*Dishes?* I have been making an effort to get the kitchen clean as soon as I get home from work. If I start dinner in a clean kitchen I'm more likely to clean as I go and end up with a clean kitchen. Sometimes it does get away from us and we might have the counter right above the dishwasher covered in dishes. We both hate emptying the dishwasher!

*closets?* They're closets. I don't give them too much though. Slightly cluttered, but usable.

*Bathrooms?* The main bathroom gets wiped down when I think about it. That's probably usually twice a week. Now that my post partum hair loss is waning it's not nearly as bad between wipe downs. The tub gets wiped out when I think of it, but I don't really really clean it very often. It needs it now, though, for sure. The toilets are usually something DH does. They don't get cleaned nearly as often as most of you guys seem to- but we're home much less and really, they're toilets. I poop in them. As long as there's nothing obviously growing in there I don't care too much. I do wipe the back of the toilet whenever I wipe the bathroom counters (counters first, then toilets, of course!). The basement bathroom- I have no idea. I rarely go in there. It always has a bit of cat litter on the floor.

*General clutter?* We have a bit of a paper problem. I hate junk mail- it's the source of most of our issues. I need to shred a bunch of stuff. But, I do try to keep it in one of two places- the dining room table next to my computer or over by the front door next to the shredder.

*windows, baseboards etc?,* Do what now? I'm not sure I've ever cleaned a baseboard. The windows desperately need cleaning of cobwebs on the outside. But, I haven't lived anywhere longer than a year since I moved out of my parents' house. So, I'm going to say they get cleaned once a year! I would wipe up obvious spills on them, though.

My biggest battle is dog hair! ARGH! The dog thinks the couch is the best bed, and it makes me crazy. Sometimes I don't want to sit on the couch because there is dog hair on it. But then I realized that I'm not sitting on the couch so that the dog can, and damn it, she didn't pay for the couch! So, we've instituted a doggy couch ban- we'll see how it works.

Also, I hate to dust because it makes me not be able to breathe.

As far as what I would allow DD to play in once she's older- I agree with many of the PPs- mess I'm okay with, filth I'm not. Obvious feces, urine, etc is bad. A slight cat box smell is okay, but an overwhelming ammonia smell is not. A few crumbs here or there I don't mind, but a floor covered in sticky spots and crumbs that appear to have been there a long time I'm less okay with. It would also depend on what rooms were dirty compared to what rooms were going to be used for play.


oh.. .thank god for this post!!!! I wohm too, but dh, ds and nanny are at home all day. Nanny does no cleaning-- only what we specifically ask her to do that day. I've even seen her put empty containers back in the fridge, I guess, to avoid washing them out.

I'm lucky, I get home at 5. My son goes to sleep at 8ish. I would like to be asleep by 11pm. So I *do* have 3 hours-ish that I can work on the house each weekday, minus the time it takes to eat dinner. I just need to find the energy. But even then, I feel like it would still be 9pm before I could get to any of it, and it would look crummy when people dropped by.

I recently had the opportunity to observe a 'cleanie' in her own habitat for a few days. She never sat down. She literally spent the entire day walking around picking things up and putting them in other places. She didn't have kids, so I didn't see her doing much of the floors. But even with no kids, it was a constant battle against clutter. I was exhausted just looking at her.

I have suprise company staying from Fri to Mondayish. I'm just tired of feeling panicked everytime someone comes over, and feeling like a failure every time I tell my husband we need to 'crisis clean'. This is how I grew up, and it's not fun.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 

*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)


Clean or dirty, but in baskets, and if dirty, in the laundry or bathroom, not just all over.

Quote:

*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
Spots are understandable, but crumbs should be swept up once or twice a day.

Quote:

*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
24-hr limit on dirty dishes, really ought to be two meals max, if they are clean fine.

Quote:

*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
My only thing is, they should be full of non-food items, no pet residue, etc. I don't have time to fold all our clothes, but they're organized by person.

Quote:

*Bathrooms*?
Swept, toilet brushed, mold bleached or otherwise removed, nothing wet lying about, towels hung to dry.

Quote:

*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
I don't mind non-food clutter to visit, but I like things put away.

Quote:

*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.
You can't see dust most of the time so if you can see it, time to wipe! I wipe with water and a rag. It does NOT take a long time just to wipe them down.

Honestly, if you don't have piles of dirt, dirty clothes, or food around, I'm okay with that. Or, obviously, sharp objects or a serious bug (flea, lice, bedbug) infestation. But I wouldn't un-friend you. I would mention the bugs--OMG did you see this? Did you know what these are? You need to call...--but otherwise, party at my place. LOL.

I clean weekly and sweep up and wipe down daily, cook a lot, work from home, it's tiring but my kids need a clean, tidy house.

We don't ahve a ton of stuff so that helps.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Laundry? *I do clothes on Saturdays. Each child receives a basket of clean clothes to fold and put away. I do sheets, towels and dishtowels on Monday mornings and put them away myself.*
Floors? *Once a week, I sweep, then mop. I do it right before bedtime so no one tracks on wet, clean floors.*
Dishes? *I stack them all day in the sink and do them each night after dinner. I wipe the counters and table at this time.*
closets? *I check on closets seasonally or if the door suddenly can't be closed properly.*
Bathrooms? *My eyes tell me when a touch up is needed. Generally scrub them once week. On a Friday, because I have more company on weekends.*
General clutter? *I have a couple of small piles, mostly paper and I tackle them often so the buildup doesn't get too bad.*
windows, baseboards? *I do baseboards three or four times a year. I'm not a big fan of window washing but if they look dirty; I hand one of the teens my window spray and put them to work.*


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## mommariffic (Mar 18, 2009)

Laundry:
We have a guest bedroom we don't use, and I put all clean laundry on the bed in there to be folded on an "as I can" basis. This way it's kind of out of sight, but that doesn't mean that clothes don't end up all over! I try to honestly keep laundry baskets downstairs and up because I'm constantly changing one of the kiddos and don't wanna run/up down.

Dishes:
One day is okay. Of course, one day for us can be crazy because I cook a lot here! And I have a dish washer!

Floors:
Toys are okay, but not like..filth.

Closets:
Who cares! that's what I say, out of sight out of mind.

Bathrooms:
Must be clean. I mean, it's not hard to make sure the toilet and shower aren't growing anything.

General Clutter:
I honestly see nothing wrong with clutter, because clutter/toys are not filth you know? Having things everywhere can be fine, as long as there's nothing moldy growing!


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## Kinza (Feb 2, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rhiOrion* 
It completely appalls me that CPS would care about laundry IN THE DRYER. I seriously think that CPS workers should have to carry around pictures of their own houses to remind them of what normal people do.

I was a hotel desk clerk during college, and we weren't allowed to leave laundry in dryers. The owners were fined and warned because of this. Apparently the Health Department considers it a fire hazard. I'm not sure why, exactly, since laundry left in a dryer implies that the dryer is not running. I don't know if they worry about lint spontaneously combusting, or what. (Lint drawers had to be cleaned out after every load, per the Health Department.)

I know a hotel is a different thing from a private home, but I'm guessing that if one government agency supposes dry laundry in a dryer to be a fire waiting to happen, other agencies do, too. I, personally, leave laundry in the dryer until I'm ready to fold it and put it away. So far, none of the laundry has exploded.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kinza* 
I was a hotel desk clerk during college, and we weren't allowed to leave laundry in dryers. The owners were fined and warned because of this. Apparently the Health Department considers it a fire hazard. I'm not sure why, exactly, since laundry left in a dryer implies that the dryer is not running. I don't know if they worry about lint spontaneously combusting, or what. (Lint drawers had to be cleaned out after every load, per the Health Department.)

I know a hotel is a different thing from a private home, but I'm guessing that if one government agency supposes dry laundry in a dryer to be a fire waiting to happen, other agencies do, too. I, personally, leave laundry in the dryer until I'm ready to fold it and put it away. So far, none of the laundry has exploded.









Haha, that clean laundry in the dryer that's not running, such a ticking time bomb. I wonder if we can get MDC to add a ribbon for victims of spontaneous laundry combustion.

I'm surprised they don't expect everyone to bubblewrap their kids. In non flammable materials, of course.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

Ill break this down between my home and someone else because the standards I have for my home is a lot different than someone else.

Laundry? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Mine*- All dirty laundry needs to be in baskets. Clean laundry gets taken out of the dryer and (hopefully) put away promptly. If it isn't put away I have it on my bed in a huge pile. I do this so I have to put it away before I go to sleep








*Others*- Since the washer/dryer in the on base housing is in the middle of the entry way or kitchen I almost expect to see a load of dirty and a couple loads of clean whenever I go over to someones house. It doesn't surprise me. I would only worry if there was dirty clothes all over the place where I was tripping or if there was dirty (or clean) clothes/baskets on the stairway because i would worry about one of the girls tripping down the stairs.
Floors? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Mine*- I sweep the kitchen and dining room after every meal. The living room gets swept once a day. Every other room I try to get to at least 3 times a week.
*Others*- I prefer there be no food on the floor.. Food meaning whole pieces not little crumbs. I cringe internally if I see poop/pee (human or animal) on the ground because my youngest has a tendency to put things in her mouth still so poop=yuck to me. Anything moldy in the middle of the living room also makes me worry.
Dishes? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*Mine*- I load the dishwasher after every meal (it gets ran once a day) and I do pots/pans after every meal.
*Others*- As long as there is nothing moldy I don't really care. If its moldy, smelly, bugs all over etc then I would mind.
closets? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Mine*- Usable but not necessarily worthy of Martha Stewart.
*Others*- As long as my girls aren't going in their closets I don't care what they look like. I would only worry if they left their closets open and there were obvious hazards (guns, knives, poisons etc) in them.
Bathrooms?
*Mine*- I wipe the sink after i brush my teeth. It gets cleaned about once a week.
*Others*- As long as it doesn't smell, isn't moldy or growing something or doesn't have questionable yuckiness on the wall (I grew up with brothers who didn't have a good aim) then I don't really care.
General clutter? kitchen table, dresser, counters?-
*Mine*- I prefer to keep clutter to the minimum because i worry of my youngest getting into things. I do have my sewing stuff all over my chest freezer right now. I have books on my night stand, I have a box of shoes I'm going through on the side table in the kitchen.. I probably still have the mail from the other day laying on the sink.
*Others*- I don't mind it as long as there is nothing down that could injury someone. Change/small pieces are the only thing I worry about.
windows, baseboards etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned?
*Mine*: I clean inside windows about every other week, sliding door gets cleaned once a week. I have a set of windows and doors that are lined in foil to insulate (it gets HOT here) they haven't been cleaned in months.. Baseboards.... yea.. you are suppose to clean those??????
*Others*- As long as it isn't turning into a science experiment I don't care.

I do have to mention we have a bit of a bug problem in our building. No matter how much I clean they still are here so I clean more now than I did before we lived here. I HATE HATE roaches and living in a multiple story apartment building (9 stories, 50 apartments about) they are very very very very very hard almost impossible to get rid of. At least my apartment isn't as bad as some of the people Ive talked to. I only have the problem in a couple of areas (surprisingly the kitchen and dining room aren't among them) and I only see them at night/early morning.


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

My house is nowhere near my standards.
Bathrooms: Standard: Toilets clean inside and out all the time; sinks clean; chrome sparkling; bathtubs clean, with toys/shampoos/bodywashes neatly organized; floor clean with a fluffy rug to stand on.
Reality: Toothpaste drippings everywhere; mirrors covered in flecks and handprints; toilets haven't seen a scrubber in who knows how long.

Kitchen: Clean, clear countertops; Dishes either in dishwasher or put away as soon as they are clean.
Reality: 2-3 dishwasher loads worth of dishes in the sink, spilling over to the countertops; spills all over the place; food crumbs on the counters and floors; counters covered with papers, toys, and everything else.

Laundry: Neatly sorted into 4 baskets for doing on Saturday (towels/underwear, shirts, pants, diapers). Once washed and dried, immediately put away.
Reality: Strewn all over the upstairs. Some has made it into baskets, some hasn't.

Toys: Neatly arranged on shelves or in bins in the toy storage closet.
Reality: Thrown into a cardboard box with the intention of putting it away later. (to keep it from getting chewed up by the dog)

Windows: Clean, print free
Reality: covered in prints, play-doh tracks, and who knows what

I try, but it seems that I'm the only one who cares when DH is sitting there either watching TV or playing on the computer or sitting there with his clipboard and pencil in hand--he's a writer (he stays home with the kids. I feel I'm expected to do all the housework and make all the meals when I'm home from work. When I bring it up, he ends up yelling and carrying on about how he does everything and the house would fall apart without him. Yah, he comes up with the "great ideas" then *I* have to implement and enforce them. Basically, I've learned to not bother talking to him about it and just quietly and meekly do everything. As for the writer comment, he's never really "off" from that.) and the kids are busy messing things as fast as I clean or whining and crying and keeping me from cleaning...after a day or two, I'm already exhausted from working full time...so I decide I deserve a break and then end up with more work.


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Quote:

Basically, I've learned to not bother talking to him about it and just quietly and meekly do everything.
Sounds like my sort-of-ex. (Separated but not divorcing for economic reasons... which sucks because I still pull all the weight but at least now I feel comfortable telling him what an ass he's acting like. LOL!)


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## Delicateflower (Feb 1, 2009)

What makes me wonder, when I hear that someone had their children taken away for clean clothes in the dryer, is where all the foster homes are who run to the dryer the moment it finishes and fold everything? Or where they run a load of washing for the dirty shirt every time they put a clean shirt on their child during the day, then immediately dry it, fold it and put it away. It just doesn't compute to me.


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

I don't think CPS is that picky. I think people who have CPS issues becaus of a dirty house don't realize how dirty it is. CPS looks for piles of crusted dishes, dirty diapers and trash in the floor, floors so dirty your feet turn black, and piles of clean or dirty laundry all over. I'm sure most social workers expect your house to be slightly lived in.


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## jennifercp8 (Nov 10, 2005)

*Laundry?* Each room has it's own hamper, and I only have out as much laundry as I can put away. Basically, I am an ex-FlyBaby, and I only do one load (sometimes 2) of laundry a day. It may not always get put away at that moment, but it is folded and out of the laundry area by the afternoon.

*Floors?* Stuff picked up off the floors, for the most part. I like a broom swept home, and I mop every few days. I have hardwoods downstairs and carpet upstairs, and we are a no-shoes-in-the-house family.

*Dishes?* I run the dishwasher at least once a day, maybe twice - depends on what I have made. I have a double bowl sink, so I tend to keep one side clear. But, I have no problem leaving clean dishes to dry in that clear side.

*Closets?* They are not cluttered, and are cleaned out quite often. Organized, and definitely overstuffed. I rotate all of our clothing seasonally, so they all get sifted through a few times a year.

*Bathrooms?* I am still hanging on to my FlyLady days, and for the most part I clean the bathroom toilets, sinks, and counters every single day. I have found that I love my bathrooms much more when I do this.







When the kids are taking a bath (I like to bathe them in the morning), I scrub toilets, wipe down sinks, and sweep the bathroom.

*General clutter?* In general, clutter doesn't bother me - especially since DD is climbing and into everything, so everything seems to get piled on my kitchen counters. I can be ready for company in less than 15 minutes, so I must be doing something right. There are a few places I wouldn't bring a guest, but my downstairs is pretty much ready. Except for the toys that need to find their way back into the toy box.









*windows, baseboards* I do these quite often. My dog has little black hairs that seem to accumulate along the baseboards, so I always do them when I vacuum my floors. They really don't need to be wiped down, though. High traffic windows, doors, and railings get wiped down weekly - but the formal dining room and living room don't nearly as much maintenance as the rest of the house.

I worked hard for a while to get into a routine, and recently I have fallen out of it. I am newly pregnant with #3, so I just don't have the energy. The weather has turned, so now we are spending more time inside, and I need to get my butt in gear!


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

OK heres me:

*Laundry*? Dirt clothes are (mostly) in hampers. Clean clothes are (mostly) in drawers/closets. I currently know that there are (clean) clothes in the dryer waiting for me to pull them out and fold/put them away... I mostly do that in the evenings so I don't have to deal w/ little ones unfolding as i attempt to fold. But I didn't get to it last night, so maybe tonight









*Floors?* I generally vacuum about once a week, and otherwise spot clean (ie we usually sweep under the kitchen table after dinner, and if a mess is made otherwise I'll clean that up). FWIW we have all hard-wood floors with area rugs in most rooms.

*Dishes?* We don't have a dishwasher so everything is washed by hand. Mostly I do dishes 2x a day - once after lunch and once after dinner. There are almost always dishes in the drying rack and a couple of cups or bowls or what-have-you waiting to be washed (but generally rinsed off, so not sitting with food drying and caking on them).

*closets?* Our closets are fairly organized... or at least *I* know where everything is and if you spent a bit of time, so would most anyone else. But, they are full.

*Bathrooms?* Our bathroom is usually decent... I clean the shower about once a week, the toilet/sink as needed - so sometimes 2 days in a row, but usually more like 2-3x a week.

General clutter? I wipe down counters/table/stove after cooking (after doing the dishes generally), though we also tend to leave notes for each other and the mail on the table, so sometimes/often theres a few pieces of paper, mail, magazines, etc laying on it. Those get moved to another counter when I go to cook/eat. We have a couple of constant-clutter spots - the other counter in the kitchen being one, and ontop of 2 different bookshelves being the other (one at the top of the stairs and one in the family room...). I try to sort through them once a week or so so they don't get bad...

windows, baseboards etc? I think we generally wash windows about 2x a year. Its just not worth it otherwise.







Baseboards get vacummed when they look gross during the weekly go through.

There are almost always toys scatterd around the house - but isn't that part of having kids?? Other wise I think my house is generally pretty decent... it can be made presentable, within 5-15 mins notice.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pepper44* 
I don't think CPS is that picky. I think people who have CPS issues becaus of a dirty house don't realize how dirty it is. CPS looks for piles of crusted dishes, dirty diapers and trash in the floor, floors so dirty your feet turn black, and piles of clean or dirty laundry all over. I'm sure most social workers expect your house to be slightly lived in.

I really do think that that's what they expect from foster homes. When I had my homestudy for foster care, I KNOW my house was clean. I was so nervous that I cleaned for two days and THEN had a professional cleaning service come out. The SW that come out denied me because my laundry tub wasn't wiped out. She told me to call her when I'd bleached and scrubbed the tub.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

Sorry, I meant to quote DelicateFlowers post.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

*Laundry*? my washer/dryer are in my kitchen so the space between the dryer and the wall is usually piled with a couple of mesh hampers that are overflowing with laundry (that adn the rest of the family just throws stuff on top without sorting or trying to get the clothes IN the hamper) I don't leave clean laundry out in the kids' room but there is usually a basket in our bedroom, and the kids have a dirty clothes basket in their room that usually has something in it.
*Floors*? We have hardwood floors, so no vacuuming, but the kitchen floor tends to get dirty very quickly. Sometimes I mop 3 or 4 times in a day. The floor has permanent grayish stains from the previous tenant so imo it never really looks clean.
*Dishes*? my nemesis....there are usually some clean dishes in the ishrack and almost always something in the sink. The sink is often full of dishes waiting to be washed.
*closets*? Kids' closets are neat and tidy. Hall closet is ok, but there is some stuff on the floor. Our bedroom closet is ok, but the floor is messy with shoes jumbled up together.
*Bathrooms* toilet and shower and sink are usually clean and stain free. under/behind the toilet seems to get dirty amazingly fast but I do try to keep it sparkling. we often have clothes on the floor in there though.
*General clutter*? there is stuff on the couch and kitchen counters quite often. we tend to leave dishes on the side table by the tv, too.
*windows, baseboards* I clean them when they look dirty. I also wipe my blinds pretty regularly also.

honestly I don't think we are such horribly messy people, but we live in a tiny house. if each of us has 2 things not put away the whole place looks messy. so....


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

LOL I *just* posted a thread about this elsewhere because reading the CPS threads was freaking me out! I don't have a W/D so there's always laundry at my house and no, it's not in the process of being done, but it IS kept in baskets until wash day. It doesn't lay around. I wash dishes once a day usually, not after every meal. Still, it's only one sinkful and I let pots soak, sometimes overnight. My floors can get kind of grimy but I'm just not as conscious of it because I don't have little ones crawling around. If I invited over a friend who had kids under 3, I'd probably do a once over. Closets are there to BE stuffed, if needed, IMO. Most of my closets still have available space, but one is pretty stuffed. The crap needs to go *somewhere*! Bathrooms...tidy and no stink. I try not to let the toilets go so long that there's grime. Papers tend to clutter up at my house. But how dangerous are papers really? Windows and baseboards? Ha!

The things that concerned me the most were the whole "lock up the meds" things. My kid has meds all over the house. Meds in the kitchen, meds in the fridge, meds in her room, rescue meds in her suction bag, ect. I'm not going to fumble with 4 or 5 keys 5 or 6 times a day. Nope, sorry. And I wouldn't lock up the rescue meds anyway, even if it were her only med. When you panic and your hands start to shake, if you can't get the lock open and your kid is turning blue...well, that's not good. The liquid meds have childproofed caps, and I highly doubt my 5 year old will run the nebulizer himself and if he does...so what? It won't hurt him. And I once had a mandated reporter tell me that all the tubes and wires were a fall hazard. Um, okay? So maybe I should give away my DD? Because she kind of COMES WITH wires and tubes. It's part of the package.







The only way I could keep the wires out of the way is if I left her in her crib and never moved her around the house. I suppose some people do that, but I won't. It's cruel.


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## Delicateflower (Feb 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Phantaja* 
I really do think that that's what they expect from foster homes. When I had my homestudy for foster care, I KNOW my house was clean. I was so nervous that I cleaned for two days and THEN had a professional cleaning service come out. The SW that come out denied me because my laundry tub wasn't wiped out. She told me to call her when I'd bleached and scrubbed the tub.

Wow, that's unbelievable! Could she have had other reasons to disapprove of you that she wasn't legally allowed to cite? Plans for extended nursing, co-sleeping, non vaxing, non circing, no plastic toys, homeschooling, ECing or something?


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

I'm pretty grossed out by a ring around our laundry tub (you mean in the washing machine, right?) in our communal wash room. I wipe it out every time with soap. It has to get really dirty for a ring to form. If I can see a ring in the bath tub, I wipe it out. That's a three-minute activity (toothpaste and handsoap both break down the grease enough).

Now, considering the difficulty of placing at-risk kids, I'm not sure that would be on my radar if I worked there, which I don't. But I can see it being considered something that should be done as a matter of course.


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## accountclosed3 (Jun 13, 2006)

i think that "normal" is always hard to define.

in my experience, my home was always *100 times cleaner* than my friend's homes growing up. they had more clutter, in particular, and more mess, but they weren't necessarily dirty or unsafe or unsanitary. my mother is just very organized and very much a neat-freak.

when i was able to develop a rhythm (a la steiner), it really made my life easy.

right now, here's what my house looks like:

1. Piles and "clutter": i have a pile of papers on our desk that we need to organize. it's been there for a week. i have a pile of books on one shelf that need to be returned to the proper owners. we have a basket where we are compiling the remaining information for our immigration officer to get our remaining 27 month visa.

2. kitchen: i have clean dishes drying in a rack, probably ready to be put away. DH left out the grocery bags last night, and DS got into the recycling so there are some plastic containers and paper egg cartons in those bags, in the corner of the kitchen. those are from yesterday, but DS was playing with them while i made breakfast, so, i kept it out.

3. laundry: there is one load in the dryer, nearly finished, and dirty clothes in the washer. one sweater is drying on a rack (lay flat). all other clothes are put away.

4. shoes: my son has been playing with shoes for the last hour. so, i have two pair of shoes in my bedroom, and he's currently walking in a pair of dad's shoes. he removed them from the entry way rack. scratch that, 3 pairs of my shoes in the room. and DH's pair left in the hall way.

5. toys: a handful of toys in my room (one monkey, one flamingo), the coin thing dumped (from the living room, onto the living room floor, DS played with the coins for a bit). a few books on the living room floor as well.

when DS goes down for a nap, i'll do the kitchen, then the bathroom (just a quick walk through to see if anything needs to be done), then the bedroom, then the living room and everything will be tidied for lunch. i then go to work in the afternoon, and DH and DS will either be out playing or be in playing, and when i get home, i do another tidy. then after dinner, i'll clean up the kitchen.

i find that doing tidies throughout the day (and also having very little stuff) is exceptionally helpful.

6. I forgot about closets: i only have two--one that is more like a root cellar (literally opens onto dirt), and one that is a tiny little built-in afterthought. the root-cellar one currently holds things going to recycling: cardboard and some plastics. the other one has our suitcases with seasonal clothes stored inside, some coats and such, and some seasonal shoes. not much. they are organized.

as for what i would allowed my son to go to? clutter isn't a big deal, so long as there aren't dangerous thigns hidden in the clutter. laundry piles, no big deal, unless it's soiled clothes (clean laundry piles are fine). mess (toys everywhere) is ok. the occasional dirty dish around the house is fine, and dirty dishes in the kitchen is fine--a day's worth or half-day's worth seems to be ok for me to handle. bathrooms generally clean, things obviously generally kept after is ok.

i do have concerns over pets (their cleanliness, fleas, ticks, etc, and also the cleanliness of how their waste is handled). but, if it's a basically clean litter box or the dog poop is not all over the yard, then it's fine by me. obviously, none in the house.

honestly, clutter bothers me--but i don't see it as a hazard or problem.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Delicateflower* 
Wow, that's unbelievable! Could she have had other reasons to disapprove of you that she wasn't legally allowed to cite? Plans for extended nursing, co-sleeping, non vaxing, non circing, no plastic toys, homeschooling, ECing or something?

Nope. I had a crib and furniture set up in a separate bedrrom next to mine, I'd requested 0-3 so school wasn't an issue. She seemed to like me. She felt comfortable enough to have tea and a few cookies, but she said that the laundry tub being dirty wasn't up to their cleanliness standards.

I will admit though that it wasn't pristine. It never occured to me to clean the laundry tub. Water goes in, water goes out. Molly Maid didn't think to clean it either. But you could easily lick any other surface of my house.

I did clean out the tub, but I didn't call back. If I couldn't meet their standards pre-baby, I'd never be able to keep up with an infant/toddler in the house.


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## accountclosed3 (Jun 13, 2006)

ah, and windows. i wash them seasonally, but it's hard to do the outsides. i do the best i can, and ask my landlord to do it at least twice a year. he is kind enough to oblige.







i do floorboards and sills each week when i dust. i also wash the walls then.


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## ssantos (Oct 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
I guess I'm not worried about cps exactly, thank god, but I think my idea of what is normal I think is very skewed.

Our floor and counters have food crumbs or spots on them. They do not get wiped/swept/vacuumed everyday. Our bedrooms/bathrooms have clothes on the floor. about half the closets are not usable. (for example, you can't walk into our walk in master closet.). At least one seat on my sofa has stuff on it at any given time. Our clean clothes are in baskets in the master bedroom. I've always been messy, but things have gotten much worse since I went back to work after DS (maybe around 4 months, and then again when I got pregnant around 7-8 mos).

I just didn't realize that everyone with kids didn't live this way.

You are not alone! We live like this! I usually don't have adults over, but the neighbor's kids come over a lot. I am trying to get to a point where I would not be embarrassed to have neighbors come in, but my neighbors all have nannies and housekeepers!!! How can you compete with that?

We don't have roaches or pets. We almost never go to my mother-in-laws house (my husband's decision) because they have 7 dogs, and some are not housetrained.

My daughter had to stay home from school with a crick in her neck the other day, so I had to stay home from work. I decluttered and vacumed the whole downstairs - it was great! You clean when you can - when you don't have other more important/urgent things to do (cooking, laundry, playing with kids, bathing kids, taking a shower, grocery shopping, connecting with spouse, working, the list goes on...).


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## cymbeline (Oct 18, 2005)

I should mention that DH works two jobs, we have 4 kids, 2 dogs and a cat, I own a business and volunteer with 3 organizations, and the kids have after-school activities. So, cleaning is NOT high on my priority list!

Laundry: With 4 kids (one in cloth diapers), the laundry is in constant rotation, usually a huge pile on the laundry room floor, 1-2 baskets with clean stuff in every bedroom. Our bathroom hamper is always overflowing, but we make sure the kids pick up their clothes after bath/shower, hang up towels, etc.

Floors: Oh, they are gross. Crumbs, dirt, dust, dog hair. Old food, stains and splatters, legos everywhere, you name it. I sweep daily, mop once a week, it does not matter. The boys are DIRTY. They eat like slobs, even with constant reminders. I am a messy cook. Thank god we have hardwoods. I really don't understand how other people keep their floors clean with kids or pets!!!

Dishes: I try to keep up, but our family of 6 can easily fill the dishwasher 3x a day. I often go to bed with dirty stuff piled high on the counter, promising myself I will take care of it "tomorrow" (ahhhh, magical tomorrow). We don't ever eat out, and I cook everything from scratch, so... yeah. The kitchen is messy.

Closets: This is the thing -- I am anti-clutter. Our closets are nice and neat... Of course, the kids and dogs don't go in there!

Bathrooms: The kids help with their 2 bathrooms, but my bathroom is usually a wreck.

General clutter: Depends, it is mostly toys and paper -- dear lordisa, they bring home a lot from school. This will get easier to deal with when I don't have a daredevil toddler (who loves to pull everything off the shelves for fun) to keep an eye on constantly and I can do things two-handed.

Windows, baseboards etc: I don't have time for this. The oldest two kids do this stuff for "bucks" (like monopoly money) that they can exchange for fun activities (bowling, roller skating, see a movie, etc). So, it gets done sporadically.


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

I walked into a place this summer (while being shown a house as a prospective buyer







) that was CPS worthy. It was pretty cluttered, but not anything like the hoarder's show, some of it was pretty dirty, and it had lots of unfinished projects. I would have readlily overlooked all of those things, but it reeked of cat pee.

I am really not sure how you would fix it either without throwing out every bit of bedding, clothing, flooring, and furniture that had cushions.

No way in heck would I ever let my child have a playdate there. Five minutes made my eyes water







I am not allergic to cats) and I felt like I needed a shower.

I do think what is safe is a function of the age and health of the child. I think lots of perfectly safe homes, very clean homes would be unsafe for the average 12-18 month old because the are inadequately baby proofed, but if no baby lives there no problem kwim. I also think that the house I visited this summer in would send the most asmatics in to a full blow attack and would be far more dangerous for someone with respitory problems.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

wow! I just wanted to update how much I appreciate ya'lls responses to this thread. I've learned so much:

1) That there is a vast range in what people consider acceptable, as well as a gap between what people do in their own home, and what they would consider ok in another's

2) Areas in our home are unacceptable. This week/weekend I've worked hard in making sure our main downstairs living areas are up to snuff. This is where ds spends most of his day, and it should be nice. The rest of the week/this weekend will be taking care of the upstairs portion that we live in most.

3) It's reasonable to expect floors/counters to be part of daily chores. Corollary: It's also reasonable to ask the nanny to do floors and counters daily.

4) DH and I need help. And that's ok. New nanny has a longer list of household chores, and it seems to be working out well, at least in the housework department.

5) And the big one... _It's ok to do housework while my son is awake._ For months after he was born one of us would be holding/playing with him while the other was doing whatever. It cuts our chore power in half. It breaks my heart to put him in a high chair for any amount of time, when we have so little time together, but he deserves a nice, clean, peaceful area to play in where the crud he eats off the floor is only a few hours old, not weeks. And it's good for him to see chores happening.

Thanks so much you guys! IN this department, things are looking better for me this week.


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## youngspiritmom (Mar 5, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zoebird* 
i do floorboards and sills each week when i dust. i also wash the walls then.

You wash floorboards, sills, AND walls every week?
You are my new roll model.

I don't think I've ever cleaned floorboards or walls my entire life!

May God Bless You!!!!!!!!!


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *youngspiritmom* 
You wash floorboards, sills, AND walls every week?
You are my new roll model.

I don't think I've ever cleaned floorboards or walls my entire life!

May God Bless You!!!!!!!!!









I never knew you were supposed to clean them.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

This thread made me run around my house and clean like crazy.









The CPS thread scared me, too... but today I got my butt in gear and did a bunch of cleaning (the bathroom was getting pretty bad







) I've been struggling with keeping up, but it's been making me crazy. I've also been ditching stuff like mad (trying to take down the clutter to make things easier for myself!), but that time has been taking away from time that i'd be cleaning otherwise.

ETA... HOORAY for clean bathrooms







(just had to throw that out there)


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.

The only deal breakers for me are serious health hazards and/or enough clutter to be dangerous. Or completely inappropriate things left at kid level (scissors, needles, medicine...).

I have to say though, I stopped reading this thread like halfway through. Compared to everyone else I'm a complete slob and I find that frickin hilarious. Cleaners come once a month. That's when our house is swept/vacuumed/bathroom cleaned/etc. If there is a noticeable issue somewhere I'll clean it up (if the toilet gets gross we clean it, if there is a big food spill we clean it up) but in general we just don't do much cleaning. We do one big toy pick up each evening. Laundry sometimes sits a day or two before it is put away. My kitchen counter could do with more picking up. That I'll grant you. My closets are rather well organized though.







It's kind of a fetish.

I really have better things to do with my life than be a full time maid.

Oh, and we have people over at least once a week--often with almost no notice. No one has ever looked askance at our house to the best of my knowledge. They keep coming back.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rightkindofme* 
I have to say though, I stopped reading this thread like halfway through. Compared to everyone else I'm a complete slob and I find that frickin hilarious.

Oh, and we have people over at least once a week--often with almost no notice. No one has ever looked askance at our house to the best of my knowledge. They keep coming back.

No reason to look askance at your house... you've seen mine.

I don't even have words, so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead.


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## accountclosed3 (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *youngspiritmom* 
You wash floorboards, sills, AND walls every week?
You are my new roll model.

I don't think I've ever cleaned floorboards or walls my entire life!

May God Bless You!!!!!!!!!

thanks, but no need to get too excited.









in my home in the US, i used my broom to sweep my floorboards each week, and then i would wash the walls quarterly. i lived in 1300 sq ft.

here, i live in about 500 sq ft or so. it is spartan and minimalist in regards to everything (furnishings, etc). i love it.

i started with my normal behaviors from the old house--dusting corners, floor boards, etc, with an electrostatic duster or broom.

but, then winter came, and it is damp. the homes don't breathe the same way, and there is no central heat. we have a small heat pump that helped keep the place basically dry on the coldest and wettest days, but it was still quite damp. it's always quite damp.

i began to notice that dusting/sweeping wasn't enough. mold was growing on these various surfaces. i literally have to scrub my bathroom ceiling each week, and honestly, it is a loosing battle. but i have to do it every week or it really gets out of hand. i let it go for two weeks, and the ceiling when from white to light brown--no joke.

so, if i don't do it each week, then it becomes a problem. now, apparently it's not as bad in late spring, summer, and fall. but, i'll keep it up so long as i'm not on vacation! LOL

it's really a necessity.

and, we had a mouse all winter, so that was another battle all it's own. having to keep food and trash secure, following up each morning and throughout the day to get rid of any animal waste, and essentially keeping the place as clean as humanly possible while living with a mouse.

so, it's been interesting.


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## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

This thread has been interesting. It inspired me to write a post in my blog about what constitutes "good enough"...

http://azuroo.blogspot.com/2010/10/good-enough.html


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## delphine (Aug 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pepper44* 
This thread has been interesting. It inspired me to write a post in my blog about what constitutes "good enough"...

http://azuroo.blogspot.com/2010/10/good-enough.html

Great blog post! And...we're neighbors. Always nice to see someone else from Kentucky here.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

something i have been pondering as i was reading thru this thread. it is about two different homes i have spent alot of time in over the last 24 years or so.
first is my MIL house. she is now in her 80's. her house is very very tidy. per dh it has always been that way. the kids rooms could be as nasty as they wanted but the main living space (living, kitchen, bathroom, dining room) were always spotless. i mean so clean you would not even worry about your kid eating off the bathroom floor. lol and the general feeling in the house was one of calmness and comfort and relaxed. i mean she has no issues at all with letting the grandkids pull out the toys she has in her house (a few dolls, cars, blocks and books) she loves to have people over and she is always relaxed and you just feel it. it is so nice to go to her place.
now the house i grew up in and how my parents live to this day is very cluttered (not horder by any stretch) just alot of stuff doesn't have a place. bills pile up on the dinner table, magazines are all over the place. just this general feel of chaos. now the house was never dirty. we did weekly chores (bathrooms, floors, general house cleaning like dusting etc) and daily chores like dishes. our rooms were not allowed to get really messy (like weekly cleaning) it wasn't like the house was dirty, just cluttered and had a feeling of chaos, like nothing had a place. to this day my parents home still feels like that. my kids get that feeling too, it's unwelcoming and uncomfortable alot of the time. i don't think the clutter caused this at all, but it is a symptom. like a cluttered disorganized mind has that effect on the house.
anyway, one of the reasons i try and minimize clutter in my house is because i don't like that feeling that i remember in my youth. when stuff starts piling up, even a little bit i get sort of stressed. i don't make it anyone elses job but mine to keep the clutter down... because i know it is my issue. and i never judge anyone elses home because it is more of the feeling you get when you are in a home then the cleanness of it. i have been in cluttered house that feel welcoming and comfortable and others that feel scattered and full of chaos.
so if anyone came to my house it would seem, maybe really tidy, but that makes it easier for me to function. it makes me calmer and more open to the kids, it allows me to feel at ease. when everything has a place (even if it isn't in that place at this moment, like the toy blocks are out and the blankets are a fort and the cars are everywhere) and everyone knows where it all goes at the end of the day... well then i am a better mama. i feel less stressed, less anxious. and it spills over in to what others feel when they come to my house. for years we hosted alot of homeschool gathers with our friends, and even though we had a small house (7 people in 1000 sqft) everyone always said our house was the most welcoming. it is because i felt together and calm and welcoming to people. the house would get totally trashed, BUT it was always easy to get back together because everything had a place. and when people come over to the place we are in now, they say the same thing. anyway... i have no idea what this has to do with anything. just something i was thinking about. lol

h


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## nolansmummy (Apr 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 

*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.

As long as there isn't pet feces,bugs, or old moldy food strewn about the house, i could care less about other people's homes and my kids playing in them.
As for my house:

There is always laundry somewhere that needs to be washed/folded or put away. If it's dirty it's in hampers, if its dry its in a basket or still in dryer and folded stuff is either all over the couch or upstairs all over my bed.

Floors- We vacuum once a week sometimes every other week if i'm super busy, i sweep the kitchen probably twice a week, and wipe up any spots when i get to them.

Closets- Most are not organized and there is stuff on the floors and hangars that have fallen. The kids closets are fine but mine and the storage closet are bad.

Bathrooms- Guest one downstairs wiped down regularly, twice a week? it doesn't get really dirty. Upstairs, my bathroom gets wiped down more frequently but i'm not that great about putting my makeup away so there is usually stuff all over the counters. Tub needs cleaned right now but toilet is good.

General clutter- I hate clutter and paper and stacks of stuff, so downstairs you will find none of that. Upstairs in the office is another story, its where the piles end up when i find them. I go through them once or twice a month, shredding and filing etc.

Windows- probably every other month? I have the kids clean them. I wipe the baseboards down if i spill something, or when i wipe the windows i guess.

MamaofThree- I grew up in a really cluttered house, lots of furniture and piles of stuff, and books everywhere, drove me crazy. I hate stuff, it totally stresses me out. I compromise with my family, upstairs can be messier, but downstairs needs to be peaceful and that means stuff put away with minimal decor and furniture.
The playroom drives me batty, but i've learned to let go a bit, because the kids don't have the same issues with clutter that i do and i refuse to clean that mess up everyday.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

nolans: i totally get that. the kids rooms i let go, except there has to be some sort of path so i can get to them in case of a fire. lol otherwise i occasionally go in and "clean house" getting rid of broken toys, puzzles with missing pieces, etc. usually when it is around the holidays and new stuff will be coming in. that way it isn't too overwhelming.

h


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Very interesting post. I wonder what is is about your parents' home that makes you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. You mentioned that the clutter was just one part of it.

I also don't mind a bit of clutter---as long as I know everything pretty much has its place. I love baskets for this reason.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaofthree* 
something i have been pondering as i was reading thru this thread. it is about two different homes i have spent alot of time in over the last 24 years or so.
first is my MIL house. she is now in her 80's. her house is very very tidy. per dh it has always been that way. the kids rooms could be as nasty as they wanted but the main living space (living, kitchen, bathroom, dining room) were always spotless. i mean so clean you would not even worry about your kid eating off the bathroom floor. lol and the general feeling in the house was one of calmness and comfort and relaxed. i mean she has no issues at all with letting the grandkids pull out the toys she has in her house (a few dolls, cars, blocks and books) she loves to have people over and she is always relaxed and you just feel it. it is so nice to go to her place.
now the house i grew up in and how my parents live to this day is very cluttered (not horder by any stretch) just alot of stuff doesn't have a place. bills pile up on the dinner table, magazines are all over the place. just this general feel of chaos. now the house was never dirty. we did weekly chores (bathrooms, floors, general house cleaning like dusting etc) and daily chores like dishes. our rooms were not allowed to get really messy (like weekly cleaning) it wasn't like the house was dirty, just cluttered and had a feeling of chaos, like nothing had a place. to this day my parents home still feels like that. my kids get that feeling too, it's unwelcoming and uncomfortable alot of the time. i don't think the clutter caused this at all, but it is a symptom. like a cluttered disorganized mind has that effect on the house.
anyway, one of the reasons i try and minimize clutter in my house is because i don't like that feeling that i remember in my youth. when stuff starts piling up, even a little bit i get sort of stressed. i don't make it anyone elses job but mine to keep the clutter down... because i know it is my issue. and i never judge anyone elses home because it is more of the feeling you get when you are in a home then the cleanness of it. i have been in cluttered house that feel welcoming and comfortable and others that feel scattered and full of chaos.
so if anyone came to my house it would seem, maybe really tidy, but that makes it easier for me to function. it makes me calmer and more open to the kids, it allows me to feel at ease. when everything has a place (even if it isn't in that place at this moment, like the toy blocks are out and the blankets are a fort and the cars are everywhere) and everyone knows where it all goes at the end of the day... well then i am a better mama. i feel less stressed, less anxious. and it spills over in to what others feel when they come to my house. for years we hosted alot of homeschool gathers with our friends, and even though we had a small house (7 people in 1000 sqft) everyone always said our house was the most welcoming. it is because i felt together and calm and welcoming to people. the house would get totally trashed, BUT it was always easy to get back together because everything had a place. and when people come over to the place we are in now, they say the same thing. anyway... i have no idea what this has to do with anything. just something i was thinking about. lol

h


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **bejeweled** 
Very interesting post. I wonder what is is about your parents' home that makes you feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. You mentioned that the clutter was just one part of it.

I also don't mind a bit of clutter---as long as I know everything pretty much has its place. I love baskets for this reason.

It is an interesting post! I actually have the opposite problem, I feel very agitated when things are very neat and tidy. For example, when traveling for work, I'd wait until the last possible moment before packing my bags-- I definitely would not be able to sleep if all my stuff was packed away.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

anyways, just a mini update, I did remove one big black trash bag of trash from our bedroom closet. I feel so ashamed-- it wasn't clothes or anything like that, just literally trash that I stashed in there. I still need to organize the clothes that no longer fit me. i dusted and vacuumed and tidied the rest of master bedroom as well, so I can proudly say that I am no longer ashamed to have anyone in any of the rooms that my son plays in!

De-cluttering is still sorely needed, but at least everything is clean. I'm still having trouble scheduling in maintenance cleaning but that's another thread!


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

i think the clutter was like an outward manifestation of the inner clutter that was my mother (mostly). like i said it wasn't like she was a hoarder by any stretch... just sort of disorganized and all over the place. she suffers from depression and anxiety. and i guess because i grew up with that, in my head clutter and disorganization in my own life makes me uncomfortable. i feel better when everything has a place, because it wasn't like that alot when i was growing up. at least that is how i feel about it. LOL

h


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

texmati, Flylady has really high standards *but* in terms of learning to organize cleaning and housework, I can thank her for my whole, mostly de-cluttered house. Where stbx has his stuff, it's messy because, well, so many things, but yes my children have clean places to play and surfaces are neat and there is almost no trash in the house save paper trash of stbx's clutter.

If you adopt her method (without necessarily taking up the whole schedule at once) you may find yourself very relieved.

Quote:

I also don't mind a bit of clutter---as long as I know everything pretty much has its place.
To me, it doesn't matter if you can see it or not. If it's in its place, it's not clutter. If it's set wherever there is space, it's clutter regardless of whether that place is a drawer or kitchen table or what. So (without seeing it) your house is not cluttered if things are really in baskets and organized. They're not clutter, they're accessible. I like my things in drawers but that's a personal preference.


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## Greenmama2 (Jul 24, 2009)

Quote:

I refuse to visit or have visit us anyone using the CIO method actively at the time they are visiting. (Yes, it's happened. SMILs relative expected me to listen to her tiny infant scream herself to sleep in a dark room, replete with puking."







) That's unacceptable!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *Phantaja* 
I really do think that that's what they expect from foster homes. When I had my homestudy for foster care, I KNOW my house was clean. I was so nervous that I cleaned for two days and THEN had a professional cleaning service come out. The SW that come out denied me because my laundry tub wasn't wiped out. She told me to call her when I'd bleached and scrubbed the tub.

This scares me. I _really_ want to foster but right now I think if we had professional cleaners three hours a day everyday for a whole week beforehand we might not pass. My 4 & 1 year olds can trash the cleanest house in ten seconds flat


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## Paxjourney (Mar 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *texmati* 
There is another thread on this board that has a few post regarding cleanliness and CPS that just scares me. I don't consider my home so bad that my kids should be removed, but from the descriptions in those posts, maybe others would have a different idea.

(by acceptable, I mean that you would allow your kiddo to go over for a play date, without crinkling your nose, or coming on MDC to chat about it







)What do you consider acceptable in terms of:

*Laundry*? (clean but in baskets, left in the dryer, on the couch for days waiting to be put away...)
*Floors*? (crumbs, or clothes on the floor in bedrooms, toys on the floor, spots on a kitchen floor).
*Dishes*? (dirty in the sink for how long, clean but not put a way, dishes left in the living room or a night stand...)
*closets*? How cluttered can they be? stuffed, or tidy and usable?
*Bathrooms*?
*General clutter*? kitchen table, dresser, counters?
*windows, baseboards* etc?, how often would you expect them to be cleaned? how dirty is too dirty.

I can't think of anything else, but please include if you have any other dealbreakers.


Laundry: In our home all dirty laundry is in the Laundry room. Hopefully in a basket or the machine. Clean laundry is in a basket or on the folding table in the familyroom, making its way to closets and drawers.

Dishes: Once in awhile a tea cup might get left on the computer desk. Dirty dishes are not left in the sink. Either they are in the dishwasher waiting to be washed or washed by hand and put in the strainer drying.

Closets: I like for my closets to be neat and organized.

Bathrooms: Bathroom is cleaned 2x a week (Full out deep clean) and wiped down 2x daily. I'm a Nurse. I'm a little obsessive about clean bathrooms.









General Clutter: Garbage is taken out when it needs to be. Usually everyother day here. I do a walk thru of rooms daily. Beds are made. every. day. Toys are picked up and there are no hazards with tripping. My Dad and Brother are both Firefighters, growing up my parents were big about toys getting picked up, guess it stuck. With my own home the kids play then pick up those toys before playing with something else.

A book of two left on an end table, knitting on the coffee table no big deal.

We sweep the floors daily, vaccume every other day (I like clean floors) and Mop 2x a week (more if it needs it).

As for what is exceptable in someone elses home. a Pile of laundry on the floor, how high? 1 loads worth or maybe two NOT in a main traffic area like a hallway. Not a big deal, as long as it is on its way to being washed.

Dishes in the sink, a days worth. Not a biggy.

Bathrooms that are clean. Not crusted over and smell of urine.

NO ANIMAL FECES OR URINE not cleaned up!

Dust and toys everywhere, not a big deal aslong as the toys arn't a tripping hazard. But not dirt and crud.


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