# Frustrating Cashier yesterday



## guestmama9908 (Jan 23, 2007)

I went to the store yesterday to get a few things. I had DS walking next to me and I had DD in a Mei Tai on my chest.

We got through the store and up to the cashier who was playing with the baby in the cart in front of us. This baby was about my DD's age and was sitting in the front part of the basket. The cashier had her hands all over his face and was pinching his cheeks and grabbing his hands and stuff.

Then we got to the front of the line. The cashier looks at the man in line behind me and says in a snarky tone "I can't play with that baby cuz this momma has her all bundled up."

Then she looked at me and started wagging her finger at me and said "Mama don't you know you have that baby too bundled up. It's hot outside. Get her out of that thing this instant. That is horrible you ought to have CPS called on you."

I looked at the woman and said "Ma'am respectively it is 73 degrees outside. My daughter is wearing a short sleeved onesie and some socks. And she is not too hot in here." I know I know I explained too much......way more than she deserved.

She then looked at me and said "Well from what I can see that baby is in sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt."







:

DD had on a thin cotton onesie, a cloth diaper, and some baby legs.

The cashier was probably mid to late 20s.

I was left feeling kind of







: about the whole conversation.


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

when i was a cashier we were trained not to make personal comments to customers. Just keep it light and simple (thank you, how are you, did you find everything etc) I think what she did was totaly inapropriate and you should call her manager. geesh!


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## JustJamie (Apr 24, 2006)

I'd have said "The reason I have her in here is so people keep their filthy hands to themselves. If you wouldn't invade an adult's personal space like that, what makes you think it's appropriate with an infant?"

It's especially disgusting for a cashier, someone who has been handling money all day, to touch a baby's hands and cheeks. uke


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## guestmama9908 (Jan 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JustJamie* 
I'd have said "The reason I have her in here is so people keep their filthy hands to themselves. If you wouldn't invade an adult's personal space like that, what makes you think it's appropriate with an infant?"

It's especially disgusting for a cashier, someone who has been handling money all day, to touch a baby's hands and cheeks. uke

That was my thought too. I was sitting there in line watching her touching that other baby and thinking to myself "Thank goodness DD is wrapped up in here so she can't get to her."


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## gargirl (Dec 30, 2006)

I would definately report the entire conversation to that cashier's manager. She more or less threatened to call CPS on you albeit in a very passive/aggresive way. Her manager will not be happy with her.

UGH to a cshier touching baby's face! handling all the food and money all day? Filthy.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

UGGH, this happened to me a few months back - in Walmart. A cashier looked at Avery on DH's back & recoiled in horror - "You're breaking her neck in that thing!" I just said "Thanks, I'm actually here for groceries, not parenting advice." Amazing what they get away with. I called a manager & he didn't care at all.







:


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## UmmIbrahim (Feb 16, 2007)

Hey

Your not alone! I normally wear ds on my back and you cant imagine how many cashiers have said something snarky and stupid to me becos of it...I guess they think if the baby is in a cart or something they can go and talk to them and be a pest...but becos ds is on my back...they r like







:

I just ignore them/and/or get snarky back....

Umm Ibrahim


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## JanB (Mar 4, 2004)

I would have complained to a manager. That kind of personal commentary is totally inappropriate. And it is one of my personal peeves when people feel the need to comment on how my child is dressed for the weather. When it is 60 degrees outside, my child does not need a wool hat on, thank you very much.


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

Seriously, I have never heard of a baby freezing to death or overheating in a mother's arms, excluding natural disasters and such. Why do people think you can't manage to dress your own child in weather appropriate clothing (although, okay, my 4 yr. old sometimes insists on wearing weird stuff, but he's old enough to wear what he wants).
And what do they think people do in warm places? Humans were made with strollers, grocery carts, and AC?


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## bethwl (May 10, 2003)

Call the manager, seriously, and if the store is a large chain, call the corporate offices.

Totally inappropriate and idiotic. Telling me how to dress my child is also a huge pet peeve of mine. A couple years ago I was at the mall on a really warm March day, like 80 degrees. People were wearing short sleeves and jeans, yet some had babies in bucket seats with fleece buntings on. I know I've been caught in too warm/too cool clothes when the seasons are changing, but if you are wearing short sleeves and are comfortable, do you think the baby needs a fleece bunting? Then when these people tell me my baby is underdressed, my blood boils.


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## mom2snugbugs (Nov 28, 2006)

I would have returned my purchases and walked out.


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## kbstanley3 (Mar 7, 2007)

I would totally complain, its rude and inappropriate to say something like that to a customer! I would have gotten fired when I was a cashier if I would have made stupid comments like that . . .
I had something similar, though, happen at the pediatrician's office. I had my son in his sling and the nurse looked at me and said, "Is that thing safe?". I said, "Of course it is, otherwise I wouldn't have my 1 MONTH OLD SON in it!". Then she said, "Are you SURE?". I had to just walk away. Some people are just ignorant and care not to be anything else.


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## FireflyFan (Nov 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalenandEllasmomma* 
Get her out of that thing this instant. That is horrible you ought to have CPS called on you."









:
Unbelievable. It is not too late to go back and speak to her manager for that CPS threat alone. The rest of it was awful too, but the CPS comment really boils my hide.


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## guestmama9908 (Jan 23, 2007)

Yeah....

I haven't ever had anyone make rude comments to me about babywearing before. Usually people just tell me how pretty my carriers are and ask thoughtful questions.

It was a pretty disturbing experience really. I didn't really know how to react. I got in the car and just sat there for a minute thinking "Did that really just happen?"


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## mommeof2in2 (Dec 20, 2005)

How awful! Some people just don't think! I agree with everyone, I would have talked to a manager!


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I probably would have been snarky right back and said to the baby "Mama knows we don't want that strangers' dirty hands all over you, huh, baby? Touching money all day and then feeling entitled to grabbing every baby who comes through her line. How strange!"


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## BumbleBena (Mar 18, 2005)

Some folks will explode if they don't open their mouth at every opportunity. My MIL is one of them.

Once we were at a bookstore, and I saw a mama with a sleeping baby in her sling, and I pointed it out to MIL and said, "Isn't that handy? She doesn't have to worry about a buggy or anything!" MIL recoiled in shock and said, "She'll suffocate that poor baby!" Riiiiiiight... that baby's not sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms, she's probably dead.







Let's just go right ahead and assume the worst about everything.

Honestly- I'd speak to the manager. And I wouldn't let it bother me, because that cashier was a danger to your child. Just think if she had handled raw chicken belonging to the person in front of you, not to mention her money! That's on the top ten list of reasons we bought a sling in the first place, so we wouldn't have to worry about random folks' germs getting all over our precious baby. The under-dressed comment really steams me too- of course a perfect stranger knows what the child needs better than his/her own mama!


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## Lisoula (Jan 9, 2006)

You should definately talk to the manager there for several reasons.







:

1. Threats of calling CPS should not be taken lightly-EVER.
2. Touching the other customer's kids with filthy unclean hands...gross.
3. Telling you to get her out of that thing "THIS INSTANT" is totally inappropriate. She's a cashier, not your parent.

Why can't people just shut up and do their jobs, instead of making unneeded comments all the time???????


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Heh, I was walking into the grocery store yesterday w/ ds on the front and some little old lady looked at us and said "what is THAT" all horrified my reply "its a baby silly!!"







and kept on walking


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## Finch (Mar 4, 2005)

Oh hell no. Go to management NOW and complain. Raise a huge stink. _Making a veiled threat about CPS??!!!??_ HOW DARE SHE!!!
















Raise hell. Raise HELL.


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## polishprinsezz (Dec 31, 2006)

maybe it would have been better if you had your baby in one of those car carriers propped on the shopping cart. people seen to have a problem bonding with their baby. i feel so bad for those babies. i had people comment about is the baby dressed warm. that makes me mad too. i dont want your unwanted advise on how to dress my baby.i know i stick out like a thumb when i am shopping and i am wearing my 9 month old. i live in an erea where many affluent mainstrem women shop. i would call the corperate to ask if it is standerd procedures to threaten customers with cps it they dont agree with your baby raising methods.


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## twogreencars (Oct 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bethwl* 
Call the manager, seriously, and if the store is a large chain, call the corporate offices.

Totally inappropriate and idiotic. Telling me how to dress my child is also a huge pet peeve of mine. A couple years ago I was at the mall on a really warm March day, like 80 degrees. People were wearing short sleeves and jeans, yet some had babies in bucket seats with fleece buntings on. I know I've been caught in too warm/too cool clothes when the seasons are changing, but if you are wearing short sleeves and are comfortable, do you think the baby needs a fleece bunting? Then when these people tell me my baby is underdressed, my blood boils.









:


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## rainymorning (Jan 5, 2007)

does the store employ developmentally challenged individuals? from what you are quoating it sounds so much like someone who has develomental issues. though, of course, i can be wrong, on this. just a hunch.

in any case, hugs









how frustrating. the CPS comment was certainly uncalled for!


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## AppleCrisp (Aug 19, 2005)

At the Expensive Baby Crap Store (aka Babies R Us), the cashier said to me "Oh, that one looks really uncomfortable" (my Ergo)

Yes, lady, I carry him around this way because it hurts. Thanks for your input.

Another time at Walmart, I had DS in a front carrier when he was an infant, and a little old grandma walked up to me and said "Oh my God, can he BREATHE?"


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Oddly, I have mostly gotten good comments around here. A couple of confused ones, one "mama carried you long enough, give her a break!" (at the hfs no less!) but lots of "ooh what a nice comfy ride you have".

"Right lady. They call it an Ergo because it's ergonomically designed to hurt me."









(On a side note, I saw an Ergo live and in person for the first time last night and I'm jealous.







: )


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## bluetoes (May 12, 2007)

You have to speak to the manager. It's not ok to touch a person's baby with grubby money hands, but you know I can live with that since I am not germ phobic. On the other hand it is none of a cashiers business how you're carrying a baby and the threat about CPS????!!!! I think I might had made a scene right then. I would follow it up with a letter to their corporate headquarters.

I have a wrap to wear my guy on order because I am sick of not being able to see over the carseat on the shopping cart and I would feel more secure wearing him. (yes I am late to the party but am happy to be here). Even if I didn't feel this way I would never have though people would object to it. Before I had a child I thought it was so sweet to see and made perfect sense. The more I read about people's experience here the more I realize I must live in a bubble a lot of the time because I had no idea people could be so ignorant about some things!


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## charmander (Dec 30, 2003)

I don't even bother trying to explain myself when it comes to whackos like that. I think I would have rolled my eyes and said "Whatever." And completely ignored her until the transaction was over.

Then I would have marched straight up to management and reported the entire conversation, including the CPS remark, to them.

I'm sorry you had to deal with someone like that.


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## papercranegirl (Jun 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rainymorning* 
does the store employ developmentally challenged individuals? from what you are quoating it sounds so much like someone who has develomental issues. though, of course, i can be wrong, on this. just a hunch.

in any case, hugs









how frustrating. the CPS comment was certainly uncalled for!









: The kohl's near us hires a lot of high functioning develkopmentally disabled. At first I thought one of the cashiers was a little wacky until I noticed that there were others like her. If that's the case, I think it's cool and you should let it slide. If not, call the manager.


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## guestmama9908 (Jan 23, 2007)

Well we, DH and I, went back to the store this afternoon. She is definitely fully functioning. I spoke with the manager who had her apologize to me albeit she seemed reluctant to do so. I also asked that he educate his cashiers about what sort of comments are appropriate and innappropriate.

I still don't think I will be going back into that store anytime soon though.


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## medicmama (May 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JustJamie* 
I'd have said "The reason I have her in here is so people keep their filthy hands to themselves. If you wouldn't invade an adult's personal space like that, what makes you think it's appropriate with an infant?"

It's especially disgusting for a cashier, someone who has been handling money all day, to touch a baby's hands and cheeks. uke

Yay that on the filthy hands thing. I don't go poking them in the face.what makes them think it's ok to touch my kid.







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
UGGH, this happened to me a few months back - in Walmart. A cashier looked at Avery on DH's back & recoiled in horror - "You're breaking her neck in that thing!" I just said "Thanks, I'm actually here for groceries, not parenting advice." Amazing what they get away with. I called a manager & he didn't care at all.







:









Thats just silly.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalenandEllasmomma* 
Well we, DH and I, went back to the store this afternoon. She is definitely fully functioning. I spoke with the manager who had her apologize to me albeit she seemed reluctant to do so. I also asked that he educate his cashiers about what sort of comments are appropriate and innappropriate.

I still don't think I will be going back into that store anytime soon though.

Good for you!


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Glad you got some resolution!

I think even if she was developmentally challenged, it would still be appropriate to speak to a manager and ask that some education take place. The manager should be aware of what the employee's capabilities are and should be able to explain things in an appropriate way.


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## LivingPacifier (May 19, 2007)

Maybe I just look too friendly, but I've had people come up and try to touch my boy while in his carrier. On my chest. Just reach their face and hands inches from his head and my boobs, sometimes while he's eating!
I just let this one comment go, because I've stuck my foot in my mouth on occasions, and I don't think the girl was intending offense. I was holding my son and trying to manipulate my wallet to pay for groceries and keep an eye on my nephew and niece (9,6). The cashier says to me and the bagboy, 'what a cute little baby. with that blonde hair and blue eyes, he's a little aryan baby.' to the bagboy, 'do you know what an aryan is?' he seems uncomfortable and shrugs no, i'm thinking what?? and she says, 'you know, like hitler' and i'm uncomfortable thinking, did she just associate my cute little bundle of baby with hitler because he's white and blonde/blue? what is this going to mean in the future?
But, at least she didn't try to touch him!


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## UmmIbrahim (Feb 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LivingPacifier* 
The cashier says to me and the bagboy, 'what a cute little baby. with that blonde hair and blue eyes, he's a little aryan baby.' to the bagboy, 'do you know what an aryan is?' he seems uncomfortable and shrugs no, i'm thinking what?? and she says, 'you know, like hitler' and i'm uncomfortable thinking, did she just associate my cute little bundle of baby with hitler because he's white and blonde/blue? what is this going to mean in the future?
But, at least she didn't try to touch him!

*OHHHHH MY GOOOOOD!!!! I dont know wether to laugh or cry my eyes out!!! My son has blonde hair and brown eyes and that always ellicites comments... Thats just sad and pathetic!!!!

On the touching bebe while in carrier thing...yeah whats up with that! I normally back carry ds and i'll STILL have people touch him...it drives me insane...sure its probably less than if he was in a stroller...but youd think that he's on my body...people wouldnt invade the personal space...oi vey!

Umm Ibrahim

*


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LivingPacifier* 
Maybe I just look too friendly, but I've had people come up and try to touch my boy while in his carrier. On my chest. Just reach their face and hands inches from his head and my boobs, sometimes while he's eating!
I just let this one comment go, because I've stuck my foot in my mouth on occasions, and I don't think the girl was intending offense. I was holding my son and trying to manipulate my wallet to pay for groceries and keep an eye on my nephew and niece (9,6). The cashier says to me and the bagboy, 'what a cute little baby. with that blonde hair and blue eyes, he's a little aryan baby.' to the bagboy, 'do you know what an aryan is?' he seems uncomfortable and shrugs no, i'm thinking what?? and she says, 'you know, like hitler' and i'm uncomfortable thinking, did she just associate my cute little bundle of baby with hitler because he's white and blonde/blue? what is this going to mean in the future?
But, at least she didn't try to touch him!


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## bellymama (Apr 15, 2007)

i think its a ua violation to say what i wouldve said and done...


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

Some of you guys had me cracking up, I wish I was so witty sometimes.







I've never had anyone say anything about carrying Ilana or Evan and I have several carriers. I have a homemade Moby and the first week I wore it out, I had about 5 people stop me to ask where they could get one too! It was great. I have been a cashier and a bank teller and the thought of touching a baby after doing those jobs, makes me squirm, money is NASTY!


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## Arania79 (May 14, 2006)

I work in a major grocery chain, in the Deli to be specific. What that cashier said would have gotten one of our people into major trouble. We've had people written up for even less then that. I can't imagine anyone not getting in trouble for even a veiled threat like that.

While my kids are too old to be worn, and when they were small enough I did not know about stuff like that, even then I never would have said ANYTHING like that to a mother who was wearing her baby. (Knowing me and my curiousity, I would have asked about it actually LOL)


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## mehndi mama (May 20, 2003)

I like to talk to babies when I'm standing in line behind them. They ALWAYS respond well.....so what is the deal with feeling the need to touch? Especially today, when it's not OK to touch ANY stranger without permission? What an odd experience!


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LivingPacifier* 
Maybe I just look too friendly, but I've had people come up and try to touch my boy while in his carrier. On my chest. Just reach their face and hands inches from his head and my boobs, sometimes while he's eating!
I just let this one comment go, because I've stuck my foot in my mouth on occasions, and I don't think the girl was intending offense. I was holding my son and trying to manipulate my wallet to pay for groceries and keep an eye on my nephew and niece (9,6). The cashier says to me and the bagboy, 'what a cute little baby. with that blonde hair and blue eyes, he's a little aryan baby.' to the bagboy, 'do you know what an aryan is?' he seems uncomfortable and shrugs no, i'm thinking what?? and she says, *'you know, like hitler'* and i'm uncomfortable thinking, did she just associate my cute little bundle of baby with hitler because he's white and blonde/blue? what is this going to mean in the future?
But, at least she didn't try to touch him!

I take it she hasn't seen any pictures of Hitler


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lyttlewon* 
I take it she hasn't seen any pictures of Hitler









TOTALLY!! What an ...UA violation...


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2snugbugs* 
I would have returned my purchases and walked out.

I wouldn't have even returned them. I would have said "Well congrats! For your rudeness I'm taking my perfectly fine children and taking our business else where."


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## kathteach (Jun 6, 2004)

UGH! How RUDE!







You have way more composure than me. I think I would have cried.

I am so mad for you.


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## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

That's ridiculous. :/ I hate being told my baby is too hot or cold. This is totally unrelated to babywearing but once I went in for an ob/gyn appointment. The ladies at the front desk asked if they could watch my baby while I was examined, so I said sure since they were all like nurses and assistants and stuff. After my appointment they come in and are like "We're going to 'mom' you for a second. Your baby is overdressed. He was hot and sweaty. Whatever you're comfortable in that's what he's comfortable in." I was wearing a skirt and shirt, and I wasn't comfortable...but I'm an adult, I can handle being chilly. It was 69 degrees outside and pouring down rain, and he'd been wearing a footed romper. They weren't quite that polite though. They were all upbeat about it but they said it in just this completely condescending manner. I got a call from a lady asking me how my visit was, like a survey thing, and I told her all about it. She remembered that day that we had the rainstorm, cuz it'd been just a week ago, and she was appalled that they'd acted that way. What's even more annoying is that when I went back in, one of the main nurses that had been "mom'ing" me took my vitals. She made some comment about how my son was dressed well for the weather, like "nice and cool" today or something like she was taking note of the improvement. I know she was alluding to the time before. I just wanted to tell her off right there. :/


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## ravenna206 (Mar 19, 2007)

I am totally flabergasted at what happened. Plus the comments and actions from adults towards children. I've been lucky to never be in such a situation but I'm not a touchy feelily person, so I hope I give off that vibe. I'm glad you went back and told the manager but I would have gone one step farther and wrote to coporate too. It is not right if you are doing business with a company to put up with 2nd or 3rd rate service. When I worked I always gave the customer 100% and if I couldn't then I would find someone who could. I also would never touch someone else or their child. Whatever happened to respecting someone and their personal space?


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## RedPony (May 24, 2005)

The things people will say. Sheesh. Kudos to the OP for going back and talking to the manager.









I've gotten WAY more positive comments than negative ones, but the negative ones always take the cake, ykmim? Like from my sister, who also wears her babies, and should know better, said to my _sleeping_ then 8 week-old, "Why is your mama hiding you in there? We want to see you!" And a guy in front of me in line at the grocery store, "How uncomfortable!" while looking at my totally happy, then six-month-old forward facing in my pouch sling with crossed legs. Siiiiiiiiiigggggghhhh. I just smiled and said, "She LOVES it." Oh, and my mom...







At around four months, told me that I was only going to be able to keep THAT up for another couple of months. Whatever lady, DD is now 12 months, and still loves to be slung.


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