# Most likely miscarried but fetus is still there. Not sure what to do next.



## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Hi Mamas







, I am supposed to be 9 weeks along but after an ultrasound last Friday we detected a 7 week old fetus and no heartbeat.







I'm going in for another u/s this week but I want to prepare for what is ahead of me. If my body refuses to abort, I've read that my choices are either an abortion-like extraction or a drug that will make me abort.

My question is this: I don't know which way will make it easier on me. Both are freaking me out and I'm really scared. I assume the vacuum extraction is preferable because it's faster and the bleeding is far less (right?), but I really don't know. Any help is greatly appreciated.


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## 5thAttempt (Apr 22, 2006)

Sorry for you loss, mama. It is very hard time for you.

At this fetal age doctor will probably suggest you D&C - it is not vacuum extraction. It is not that bad - it is under general anastesia and you will bleed after it, may be even several weeks but it will not be heavy. You can wait a week or so and try to do it on your own. However by the time of you next u/c - it will be 3 weeks and if you body did not do it - it might not do it for a while. Take care and I am sorry for you loss again.

P.S. Many years ago after D&C procedure I was still passing big chanks - either doctor did not do a good job or it was molar pregnancy - anyway - he gave me a drug. IT WAS so bad - I ended up in ER at 1 am because I could not bear pain. I would pick D&C.


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## theboysmama (Sep 21, 2005)

I am so sorry that you are having to even make this choice. I had a natural m/c. the fetus was 7 wks and i m/c at 12.5. I think that it is safe to wait quite a while as long as there are no signs of infection. I had a missed m/c and did not find out until the day before I m/c and am not sure that I would have the patience to wait. There are several threads on this board where people were waiting it out. If I find the links I will post them here.









http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=417809
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=404839


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

I was in your situation almost 2 months ago. It is an agonizing choice. It was confirmed at 9 weeks my baby had died 2 weeks prior. I tried to m/c on my own, but it was not happening. I gave myself over a week so a total of 3 weeks from when the baby died.When I did not do it on my own, I chose a d & c. (However some women have waited longer, on up to 6 weeks.)

Some women do choose cytotec. Cytotec can work great for some, for others it does not work, or works to well and causes hemorrage. If either of those happen, a d & c can be necessary. So I went straight to the d & c.

I was knocked out. I had minimal bleeding afterwards, although I am told during the procedure I bled quite a bit. Day 2 & 3 after were the hardest with cramping. After that I could control the pain with motrin. I got my period 6 week 1 day after my d & c.

Another thing to consider is ith a natural m/c, you can ttc on your first cycle With a d & c, it is suggested to wait 3 months to ttc again. (if that is what you wish to do.)
Again, it is a hard choice, and a very personal one. I wish you the best.







s


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Thanks Mamas.























Wow, 3 months before ttc again?







I hope it happens naturally instead, and very soon. Reading the m/c sticky is helping me a lot to emotionally prepare for what lies ahead.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Thanks again Mamas.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Nicole, thanks for the links.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

With my miscarriage (similar situation to yours, I think), I did have the vaccum extraction - my OB suggested that I have it then as waiting longer might mean I would need a D&C.

I really don't remember much about the physical part of the procedure or bleeding afterwards. I only remember the mental/emotional part. I don't think it was terribly bad physically.

I did ask my OB to give me an Rx for a valium type med to take the morning of the procedure.

I did get pregnant again during my next cycle, with DS#1.

At the time I was extremely torn between going ahead with the extraction and waiting to see if I miscarried naturally. I think it is a damned if you do, damned if you don't type situation. I sometimes wonder if I should have waited, but I am sure if I waited and ended up with a D&C, I would have wished I had gotten it over with earlier. I don't think there is one right answer, you just need to take the option that seems right for you.

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Thanks Tanya. What is a D&C? I thought it was the same as a vacuum extraction?


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## UrbanEarthMom (Jul 20, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss - that is so sad.









I have had both a natural miscarriage and a D & C. It's really a personal decision depending on the situation. With my first miscarriage, the baby had already been dead for almost seven weeks and meanwhile I was feeling more and more pregnant. I was told that the placenta was still growing. I just knew it wasn't going to happen on its own anytime in the near future. I accepted the D & C - the procedure itself was not a big deal for me.

When I miscarried naturally with the second miscarriage I did feel empowered in a way - that my body had "birthed" the miscarried tissue (I'm not sure what to call it given that I've been diagnosed with a molar pregnancy). But I don't think it really made that big of a difference psychologically. The bigger issue is the loss of the pregnancy that you've become attached to.

Good luck.

Mary


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

I used cytotec (vaginally) after waiting 2 1/2 weeks to m/c. It worked well for me. I did not have any pain (and I just used ibuprofen) and had no hemmoraging or anything. It can cause severe side effects for some, but sometimes it works fine. I did not want a d&c.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Oh, Michelle







I'm so sorry...I am thinking of you and your family.

Much love and peace to you and your little one.


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

I'm so sorry.









I have had both a natural miscarriage, and a miscarriage with a d&c. I can't say that one was any easier than the other.

With my first, (the natural one) I spotted for two days, then bled heavily enough to go to the ER. They just monitored me and provided IV fluids, then sent me home. Five days later, I passed the sack--the pains were that of labor. The bleeding afterwards lasted a long time--iirc, about 5 weeks. The part that I appreciated (for lack of a better word) was that there was a sense of completion. And, we had a short ceremony where we buried the baby and planted some flowers.

With my second, I began spotting for two days, then started bleeding heavily--just like the first time. I was with my m/w at the time, and she advised a d&c. I really didn't want to do the ER trip in the middle of the night again, and of course I was upset and thinking of my other kids at home being upset...and I agreed to the d&c. I was home that evening--no cramping or pains, very light bleeding for about 5 days. But, the hospital scene was not good--met a jerk of an ER doc...had a reaction to the anesthesia...and went home feeling very empty. We will still plant some flowers for the baby, but I wish we could have had a burial.

It's a really tough decision to make, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I really don't think that one way is any better than the other. Just do what feels right at the time. There's much support to be found here, if you want.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## makawee (Jan 23, 2005)

mother sunshine - sounds similar to the dates that i just miscarried with = discovered at 10 weeks fetus was developed to 7w4d. i was worried about the invasiveness of the d/c - and the complications that could arise - including that for later ttc. i trusted my body to do the right thing and that definately has helped me in dealing.

i'm sorry mama. at least you dont' have to rush into any decisions! when is your ultrasound?


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## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. My heart breaks for you.

Deciding what you want to do next is a very tough decision. We were in shock when we found out and needed to think about it before deciding in the doctor's office. It is good that you are doing research ahead, even though I know it is so hard to think about.

I tried to m/c naturally. When I found out, I thought I was about 13 wks pg. but the baby had died around 9 or 10 weeks. I stuck it out, waiting at home for another 2 weeks. My doctor was concerned about infection and I wanted to move past the physical aspect, so I ended up having a D&C.

Because the procedure is so invasive, most doctor's recommend anywhere between 1 and 3 cycles to ttc again. The uterus needs to recover from the procedure (I think the uterine lining needs to rebuild, but I could be wrong).








to you again during this difficult time


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## KC in KS (Feb 24, 2005)

All four of my miscarriages were "missed" in that my body never expelled the baby. I was very reluctant to do a surgical removal, so the doctor inserted a laminaria instead.

It's very easy, and natural. Laminaria is a small cylinder of dried seaweed. The doctor inserts it in your cervix right in the office. It's a slight pinch, but nothing more than "ouch". She then follows it up with some soggy cotton balls and sends you home.

Over the next several hours (8-12 in my experience) the seaweed absorbs the moisture and begins to swell, thus dilating your cervix just a little. You'll know it's working when the seaweed-and-cotton balls comes plopping out into the toilet - your cervix is no longer tight enough to hold it in. Generally by this point your body will take the hint and start the actual miscarriage.

I've always had a D&C scheduled for the next day, as a backup plan, but have always been able to cancel it well in advance.

BTW, take the prescription they offer you for the painkillers. It's pain like labor contactions, but it doesn't come in waves like contractions. Mine generally lasts 30-45 minutes, and there's no break in there and no happy baby at the end. This is one case where I say there's no point in putting yourself through the pain when there's drugs to help. Still, I feel it's easier than the surgery. My third miscarriage was surgically removed so they could test the baby, and for the fourth I chose the laminaria again.

HTH
KC


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Thanks Mamas









I started spotting (dark red mucous) yesterday and immediately started feeling a very tight uterus so I thought it was coming on quickly. But only light spotting since. I slept on a thick folded towel all night because I thought for sure it would happen. The waiting is the hard part, especially knowing that extreme pain and more sorrow is ahead. I am so eager to just get it over with. I (we) want so badly to be pregnant again. I'm sad to hear that it might not be possible for at least a few months.









The hardest part is trying to stay positive with dd. I'm emotionally exhausted. Homeschooling is not fun right now.









Your stories and hugs are so incredibly helpful to me.


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## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

again
Just wanted to add that many people ttc immediately following a m/c and have healthy pregnancies. My doctor told me just to wait one cycle (even though I had a D&C). For other reasons we decided to wait. It sounds like the m/c is progressing naturally. So, don't give up too soon on ttc in the near future.

The TTC-after-a-loss thread is an amazing place. Many of us have lurked and posted well before being able to ttc.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I am very sorry you're having to endure this.







s

I had a missed m/c in March. Baby was 11 weeks, I was 14 weeks. I started to m/c on my home naturally but b/c of my history and blood clotting disorders I was admitted to the hospital and had a D&C the next day. The bleeding was less than a period but hung on for about 2 weeks. I retained part of the placenta and as soon as I had passed that the bleeding stopped. I would have rather m/c on my own but I was high risk anyway. I would opt for the D&C if your body doesn't do it on its own.

May I ask why you're having another u/s?


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## ELKMama (Dec 3, 2003)

Michelle, So sorry you are facing this... I'm sure that keeping your energy up for dd is VERY hard and maybe impossible right now, when you're waiting and sad. I am thinking of you.

I was on the "still waiting" thread that theboysmamma posted early on. Development stopped at 6 weeks, I found out at 10 weeks (at an u/s), and m/c at 14 weeks... So it was a long wait BUT when it came, it was physically very easy. I had 1/2 hour of cramps and then the placenta (which seemed like a 1/2 inflated balloon, about 3x5 inches) just slipped out. There was really no pain.

I wanted to share that almost pain-free m/c is a possibility (and, of course, so are intense labor pains!!). After it happened I kept wondering if that was it, because I was expecting more pain.

Hugs to you... E


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## SCC703 (Apr 23, 2006)

Last year I was pregnant for the first time and at 2 months I had a "blighted ovum". Anyways, the doctor told me that I could schedule a d&c or just wait to see if it came out on it's own.
Well, I waited and then one morning I woke up in the worst pain of my life. Not to be gross but I was bleeding so much that I couldn't get out of the bathroom. I had the worst pains I have ever had in my life and honestly thought something else was wrong with me. I cried and cried and cried until I finally had just had enough and went to the emergency room. They knocked me out and my surgery lasted about 20 minutes. that's all a D&C usually lasts. The reason I was in so much pain was because I was having an allergic reaction to the dead tissue in my body. It's very rare but it does happen. I felt weird when I woke up but I felt sooooo gooooood and relieved. They put me on some antibiotics and also gave me percocets just in case I had some pain but I didn't even have to take one of them. They also give you a perscription for the blood flow in case it's really heavy and it helps so much. I only bled for about a week after. As long as you have a great doctor then I'd go for the D&C. You will not even notice they did anything and this way there's no risk of your body not cleaning itself out all the way.
Good Luck! Hugs to You

PS I had the D&C on October 28th and then got pregnant again on December 11th! I'm actually really really glad I had it done.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Sorry to hear of your loss, mama.
















I've done it both ways, with my earlier miscarriages they went naturally, and the "latest early" one was at 13 weeks that also went naturally, but that one went with drugs to speed the process.

Just last week I had a D&C when an u/s at 16 weeks showed the baby had died, and there was no bleeding, no spotting, no nothing happening. It took a week from the u/s till the scheduled D&C, and in all that time there was still no spotting or any evidence that my body was getting ready to pass anything ... and that week was just horrendous for us emotionally, physically and in all sorts of ways. To continue feeling pregnant while knowing that your baby is not alive ...

Anyway, I thought it was necessary to have the D&C. Was out totally (general anesthesia) and was home from the hospital by the late afternoon. The bleeding is really minimal, same as a PP said ... they said I bled a lot during the procedure, but it's been almost nothing since.

Honestly, I thought the D&C was easiest emotionally. The pain has been minimal, the bleeding is very light ... and there's no more waiting. No more being pregnant while my baby is not alive. Closure.

As much closure as you can ever have from a pregnancy that ends this way, anyway ...


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## thundersweet (Feb 28, 2003)

Hugs to you mama. I am going through a miscarraige right now. Just waiting for it to finish I guess. I had what they though may be an ectopic pregnancy. They never saw one they just were not seeing much of anything. I had the methotrexate shot on Sat afternoon. I am doing ok. No sickness, just mild cramping. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how bad it hurts.


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## isaiahsmommy05 (Jul 1, 2005)

I'm so sorry for your loss









I've had miscarriages and never had a D&C. I miscarried twins naturally in May 2004 at 10 weeks. It was very painful and scary. It took a long time as well. In hindsight I probably should have chosen a D&C, but I just didn't want to accept what was happening and I didn't have much support.

You are in my thoughts







:


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Thanks and







mamas for all of your support and sharing.

It's finally over. After 3 days of cramping and bleeding, last night everything came out all together--placenta gestational sac and tiny baby floating peacefully inside. I left everything as-is, wrapped it all in a cloth diaper and planted it with a new rose gardenia tree in our backyard.

I'm so relieved that I didn't have to make the tough decision. Mother Nature was kind.

Thanks again everyone for helping me through this.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

(((Michelle)))

I will say a special prayer for you and your baby tonight....I am so sorry.

There are no words, but I want you to know I am thinking of you and sending you love.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

s


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## momto3 irish lads (May 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Remember, you are not alone in your sorrow.

I lost my baby at 8 weeks. Went in for a routine checkup and found out. I had no indication that I was miscarrying: no pain, no bleeding. I ended up having a d&c a few days later.

Big hugs to you!!


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## AmandaBL (Aug 3, 2004)

I'm so sorry.


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