# my toddler will not listen to me...please help!!



## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

hi mamas,
my dd has always been well behaved but the past few weeks to a month something has changed....she has started to slap me, kick and jump on me....an example of when this usually happens...today I really needed a little rest and I layed down on the bed and she started slapping, kicking and jumping on me....if it wasnt that she was laying next to me saying HI & being very cute...I tryed briefly to get her to stop but she just laughed at me and the more upset I got the funnier she thought it was....I just got up before I got any more upset.

Sometimes she just walks up and slaps me on the back and seems to have no care about the pain it causes me...or she may pull my hair and laugh about that.

Is this a normal behavior for a 2.9 year old or does it sound like this is her resonse to something else?

What can I do?

thank you!


----------



## mocha09 (Jul 6, 2003)

When my dd hits me, I say, "Ouch that hurts!" and "I need to be safe!" Then I either move her away from me or move away from her. Then I tell her to be gentle, and show her a gentle touch and then she practices it.

I think it's normal to experiment with touch and hitting at this age. My dd keeps coming back to it, but now she knows after the first time to be gentle, and doesn't repeatedly hit.


----------



## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

I wish that would work with her, she has never been a hitter before and I am really hurt by this...its not just me, its our dog also, she is constantly pulling her tail and yanking on her and nothing I say or do seems to help.

Its a really hard time right now with her daddy being deployed and me trying to deal with my stuff and take care of everything else by myself...I already feel beat and to get "beat" by my own child feels terrible. I'm going to look for a dicipline book today, I have to figure out something to deal with this!


----------



## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

Hitting needs to be dealt with.

When she hits, take her hands gently in yours.

Look her in the eye

Say in a serious, but calm, voice: "You can not hit me."

Do this every time.


----------



## mommyjones (Jan 10, 2005)

www.nogreaterjoy.org and order their book "To Train Up a Child."


----------



## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

mommyjones your spanking advocacy posting is not welcome here. Good bye.


----------



## kchoffmann (Aug 16, 2004)

I agree with maya43. Hitting must be dealt with, and you can do so firmly, yet gently, as she suggests. Hold her hand when she goes to hit, look her in the eye, and say firmly, "Hitting hurts mommy. You need to stop hitting me." Once you do so, you can then redirect the hitting (since it sounds like something she's interested in right now) by showing her things she can hit, like a couch cushion or a drum.


----------



## diane1969 (Dec 10, 2003)

My dd kind of went through this. if she hit me, i would crunch down and say "i'm scared!" and really act it out. or if it were the dog, i would grab the dog and say "let's get away from so&so, she's not being friendly", and leave her. if she tries to come near you, say "stay away, i don't want you to hurt me". hopefully, she will say that she won't, and she won't.

for other general *not listening* behavior, yes, it is typical for the age, but my feeling that also should not be tolerated. i flat out say "you're not doing good listening" and then inflict some sort of consequence -- of course, I usually like diverting -- like if you wanted to rest and she was bugging you... i'd just offer: do you want to color, paint, cut up paper and glue it, watch tv, whatever, and set her up with some project and let her go.

And as a side note, I ALWAYS say "great listening!" and act really proud and excited for most of the time when she is following my instruction.


----------



## jgale (Jan 21, 2003)

My boy has recently started hitting a LOT, although he's a bit younger--just turned one.

What I've been trying is to grab his wrist, say firmly/calmly, "We don't hit" or "Don't hit mama" or whatever. If I say it really firmly, he'll start to cry, but then as soon as I let go of his wrist, he hits me again!

I'm not sure how to handle this. I think it's just a stage, but he does it all the time now...just in the last week or so. More suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.


----------

