# Is this offensive or a great idea? Or...?



## emdeecee_sierra (Oct 16, 2005)

http://www.mytinyhands.com/index.htm

A sign that tells people to wash their hands before touching your baby.

My first reaction was thinking- "uh, ever heard of a _sling_?"
Then I thought, well, sometimes even slingers use a baby stroller, so maybe this would be a good idea...
Then I was thinking, huh, I don't want people touching my babies whether they've washed or not; strangers, at least.

I dunno. This just sits weird with me and I can't put my finger on it. One picture on the site that I find puzzling is a baby with one of the signs _on him_; looks like it is strapped around his shoulder or something









Thoughts?


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## *~Member~* (Feb 20, 2006)

When Raeden was 4 months old and strapped to an apnea monitor 24/7 I WISH I had had one of these. SO many people even after hearing she had problems would just go to hold her *shudders*

I would have bought one likely. Who cares if I offend someone with it. I also use a monkey backpack with a LEASH *gasp*


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## fek&fuzz (Jun 19, 2005)

I think it's a good idea. And since it probably mostly applies to people out in public, they aren't likely to run to a restroom to wash their hands so they can touch your baby, so really the sign is saying "Bug Off" but it's just nicer.


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## CanidFL (Jul 30, 2007)

I'll be honest...

I would roll my eyes at a sign like that and probably laugh about it later. I would never touch someones baby without asking first though. I don't really get strangers touching DS in the sling but if they do, it doesn't bother me. Maybe when he was really young it would have bothered me but I think people just knew from my vibes not to touch him.


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

Do strangers touch babies a lot? That would freak me out. I mean, I can see small kids touching babies, but adults?


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## *~Member~* (Feb 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~*Jaime* 
Do strangers touch babies a lot? That would freak me out. I mean, I can see small kids touching babies, but adults?

I have had people I've never met go as far as to try and unstrap my kids from strollers or carseats to paw at them


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

It's a great idea.

Some babies do have special needs and it might be a good reminder to people who would just normally touch a stranger's baby. If people are offended by that, TDB.

My ds isn't in that boat but if he was I would get one.


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## Amandamanda (Sep 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fek&fuzz* 
I think it's a good idea. And since it probably mostly applies to people out in public, they aren't likely to run to a restroom to wash their hands so they can touch your baby, so really the sign is saying "Bug Off" but it's just nicer.









:


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
I have had people I've never met go as far as to try and unstrap my kids from strollers or carseats to paw at them


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## 2xshy (Nov 27, 2007)

I don't think I'd use a sign like that but I am thinking of making her a shirt that says "don't touch" or "please back up" or "just because I am cute and little doesn't mean you can pet me" or something like that.

I remember one day when she was maybe a month old or even less I was at the grocery store and a lady who was coming in from her break (SMOKE break) came up and got right close and shook her foot or her hand I can't quite remember. I almost snapped at her but I was still kinda in la la land around then so i just blankly stared at her and then walked away.


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## alicia622 (May 8, 2005)

I think the sign is OTT unless your child has a medical condition that makes getting a cold a medical emergency. Of course, I don't touch strangers babies and I don't recall many strangers touching DS when he was an infant.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

as a kidless person, I think that the sign is a cute way of telling people to wash their hands.

I think you can say about anything if you put it on a onsie or a cute sign though.


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

I think it's so anal and I love it. Now I'm going to be tempted to get one for the new baby. Or possible just pin one to the front of all my kids...and my SO, just for kicks.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alicia622* 
I think the sign is OTT unless your child has a medical condition that makes getting a cold a medical emergency. Of course, I don't touch strangers babies and I don't recall many strangers touching DS when he was an infant.

I agree. Barring any kind of medical condition, I think it's a bit silly and overprotective. OMG, don't get your cooties on my baby!


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby* 
I agree. Barring any kind of medical condition, I think it's a bit silly and overprotective. OMG, don't get your cooties on my baby!

I am in this camp as well. It strikes me as rather passive-aggressive.

Of course, I am not bothered by people touching my kids. I'm the one who, at a Thai restaurant in Norfolk, let my waitress carry my eldest (only, at the time) around the dining room to show her off to the other employees while I ate my lunch (I could see her the whole time).

A friend explained to me that some of the more superstitious will touch my daughters for protection against the evil eye, I think because they're blonde. It's a superstition in some parts of Mexico, apparently (heavy immigrant population here, obviously). My MIL, mother of two blond boys, told me that blond kids are also considered good luck in Spain, and she constantly had people touching the boys and even giving them candy because of this.

I'm not germophobic in the least, and my children haven't suffered from being touched.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl* 
I am in this camp as well. It strikes me as rather passive-aggressive.

Of course, I am not bothered by people touching my kids. I'm the one who, at a Thai restaurant in Norfolk, let my waitress carry my eldest (only, at the time) around the dining room to show her off to the other employees while I ate my lunch (I could see her the whole time).

A friend explained to me that some of the more superstitious will touch my daughters for protection against the evil eye, I think because they're blonde. It's a superstition in some parts of Mexico, apparently (heavy immigrant population here, obviously). My MIL, mother of two blond boys, told me that blond kids are also considered good luck in Spain, and she constantly had people touching the boys and even giving them candy because of this.

I'm not germophobic in the least, and my children haven't suffered from being touched.

Yeah, my DD is even immune-compromised and people touched her, and she turned out fine. I flew with DD when she was about 4-5 months old, and I let a lady hold her on the plane because she kept cooing over DD. I figured she couldn't get very far even if she tried to run off with her.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Overkill I think.


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## tree_hugger (Aug 22, 2004)

I generally don't mind if people touch my babies. My little ones are always in a sling anyway, so if someone icky gets too close I just step back pointedly.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl* 
A friend explained to me that some of the more superstitious will touch my daughters for protection against the evil eye, I think because they're blonde. It's a superstition in some parts of Mexico, apparently (heavy immigrant population here, obviously).

It's actually eye color, not hair... and it's that the baby has to touch *them*. My dad advised me about this on our first trip to mainland Mexico. It doesn't apply to me as much as him, since he had bright blue eyes and mine are hazel... but the idea is that if a blue-eyed person looks at you, they take a piece of your soul, and by touching you they give it back. He explained this and basically said "so if someone asks you to touch them, just do it." ;-)

As for the sign... not how I roll, at all, but if you want people to wash before touching, then I guess it's a good way to do it. ;-) I have no problem with adults touching my baby (unless I have a problem with the adult in question, and then I'm not letting them within *my* body buffer zone... and that's where baby is).

If I were formula-feeding, it'd be an issue, though, since formula-fed babies are basically immuno-compromised. :-/ So I can see why people would require it.


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ironica* 
It's actually eye color, not hair... and it's that the baby has to touch *them*. My dad advised me about this on our first trip to mainland Mexico. It doesn't apply to me as much as him, since he had bright blue eyes and mine are hazel... but the idea is that if a blue-eyed person looks at you, they take a piece of your soul, and by touching you they give it back. He explained this and basically said "so if someone asks you to touch them, just do it." ;-)

Oh man, I would not make friends in Mexico if that's the case. Me and dd wouldn't even get past the border.


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## FREEmom1120 (Feb 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KathleenRay* 
I generally don't mind if people touch my babies. My little ones are always in a sling anyway, so if someone icky gets too close I just step back pointedly.

yeah.

I welcome germs. It sort of grosses people out.


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## Mama2Bug (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emdeecee_sierra* 
http://www.mytinyhands.com/index.htm
One picture on the site that I find puzzling is a baby with one of the signs _on him_; looks like it is strapped around his shoulder or something









Thoughts?

That little guy is in a baby carrier, I think- like a Bjorn or something.

I think the sign is overkill for the general population. I could see using it with a preemie or medically fragile child though.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

DD2 was medically fragile, I'd have her all bundled up in a sling, she had O2 on so it was obvious that she wasn't perfectly normal, and still people would grab her hands.







: Pissed me off to no end. I rarely took her out, and when I did it was a full time job just keeping people away from her. I had this whole dance thing down, I would always keep scooting backwards trying to keep her out of people's grasp. I finally just got pissy and would tell people not to touch.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

for a normal healthy baby, that sign brings the crazy (hey, did that rhyme?)


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I guess I don't feel it is necessary for most babies to be that germ free but if you feel that strongly about it for your child then I guess it probably would help keep people from touching your child.


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## lava mama (Jan 2, 2007)

I love how the first page on that site has a picture of the sign, and then an explanation of the sign--you know, just in case you didn't understand what that big pink sign said. LOL.

I'm usually one who doesn't mind when people touch her baby, as long as they're not overly aggressive, have clean-ish hands (no gross fingernails), don't have a hacking cough, or don't smell strongly of smoke. I suppose it would be offensive to have a sign that said, "Please don't touch me if you're overbearing" or "Please don't touch me because my Mom thinks you're nasty."


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emdeecee_sierra* 
Then I was thinking, huh, I don't want people touching my babies whether they've washed or not; strangers, at least.

Ah, but you'll have time to get away while they're going off to wash their hands.









Seriously though, I think the real sign should be:
"Please read this sign to give yourself time to remember that you always need to ask permission before touching another person's baby."


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lava mama* 
I love how the first page on that site has a picture of the sign, and then an explanation of the sign--you know, just in case you didn't understand what that big pink sign said. LOL.









I know that is funny when you can see both image and text, but it's in case the image doesn't show up correctly or takes a long time to load.

Oh! And there's accessibility software that will read the text on a screen and read what a mouse is pointing to.


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## lula (Feb 26, 2003)

complete overkill unless there is a medical reason, compromised immune system etc.

However, I may get one for myself...


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Aside from when DS was very tiny, I don't care if people touch him. The more germs the better, as far as I'm concerned. If someone looks particularly nasty, I am quite successful in avoiding that person.

I can see how it would be necessary for some children -- those with special needs or whatever.

Just not mine. My child will probably give the old lady the germs, not the other way around!


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## littlest birds (Jul 18, 2004)

I don't want strangers handling my babes... though polite requests to hold a babe were fine and I usually would say yes. Mostly everyone was at least a familiar face or acquaintance and probably no less germy than a stranger. Germs weren't the issue for me but manners could sometimes be.

I find the whole phobia about germs rather offensive overall. Antibacterial everything, antimicrobial everything else, and an overall fear of living things "out of control" seems to be the surreal reality for so many, and I don't like it or agree.

Then again, I'm surprised often how many times I notice a person use a public restroom and not even wash hands after. That is gross to me, and I wish I could count on people to be reasonably hygienic for everyone's sake. And sometimes the simply unclean and inappropriate objects family or friends thought they could hand to a mouthing older baby to play with shocked me. Like, I really don't want my 6mo old sucking on your car keys.

I worry more about chemical residues on surfaces and elsewhere than about germs. People use many "mildly" risky chemicals in a casual way IMO that shouldn't be used so casually where children will contact them. And how do you even express that to people as a polite request?

Any sign like that would annoy me, though I would simply chalk it up to personal differences of opinion and belief that I would just accommodate. Of course I probably would accommodate by staying away entirely and figuring I was too grungy and dirt-friendly for that person's taste.


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## minimunklemama (Nov 24, 2004)

I think that they are great.I wouldn't need one myself as I have no qualms about voicing my choices/concerns etc.and I welcome germs.I also carry mine in a sling but I just ordered one for my new nephew,I know that it will be perfect for his (anal)mama







: (example,we visited and my three kids were not allowed in the HOUSE!!!!)
I think that part of me loves it because it is so anal

Thank you for the link.


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## minimunklemama (Nov 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maliceinwonderland* 
I think it's so anal and I love it. Now I'm going to be tempted to get one for the new baby. Or possible just pin one to the front of all my kids...and my SO, just for kicks.

This just made me spit out my coffee laughing!!


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minimunklemama* 
(example,we visited and my three kids were not allowed in the HOUSE!!!!)
I think that part of me loves it because it is so anal


That's not anal, that's rude.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Am I the only one envisioning children walking around with giant neckaces of these signs, you know, Flavor Flav style??

I want one too... it would read "Yes they're ALL mine" on one side and the other side would say "Yes my hands ARE full". But I want mine in purple with neon green text. That would be badass.

And yeah, I do actually think children pose more of a threat to adults health-wise than the other way around! Maybe the sign could read "Touch me, touch my germs" on one side and "I touched my poop this morning and didn't wash my hands" on the other.


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## Ackray (Feb 11, 2004)

I think that sign is as silly as the "baby on board" signs for cars. Well, not AS silly, but close.


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## Summertime Mommy (Dec 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Periwinkle* 

And yeah, I do actually think children pose more of a threat to adults health-wise than the other way around! Maybe the sign could read "Touch me, touch my germs" on one side and "I touched my poop this morning and didn't wash my hands" on the other.









I could totally see me kids wearing those.







:

Germs don't bother me either. IMO I'd rather the kids build their immunities while they are little.


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

For my ds it could say "I have at least one hand on my penis 90% of the time..go ahead and touch me"

And for my dd "I pick my nose, constantly. High five!"


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## stickywicket67 (Jan 23, 2007)

i'm in the "overboard" camp.
if i saw it i would find it silly but not offensive. i wouldn't take it personally. i'd think the parent was a bit over the top and overprotective.
i think it's better for healthy children to be exposed to germs.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emdeecee_sierra* 
Thoughts?

I think if one _needs_ a sign to send a message, it might be more to the point to just be straight up: "Please Don't Touch." To me, the please wash hands first is a bit passive aggressive unless you're really okay with strangers touching your baby once they've met the sanitation requirements (and then, really, how do we know?). I can see instances where a sign might be of help (medical issues), but then, I still think if it's that serious, the message might need to be a bit more to the point.


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *georgia* 
I think if one _needs_ a sign to send a message, it might be more to the point to just be straight up: "Please Don't Touch." To me, the please wash hands first is a bit passive aggressive unless you're really okay with strangers touching your baby once they've met the sanitation requirements (and then, really, how do we know?). I can see instances where a sign might be of help (medical issues), but then, I still think if it's that serious, the message might need to be a bit more to the point.









:

"please don't touch" or if you're ok with them touching your kid "Don't touch my hands, touch my feet"

I adore infants, and sometimes find the urge to touch their little bare toes very very hard to fight. But I do.


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## redpajama (Jan 22, 2007)

I think it's weird, myself. If a child were at higher risk than normal of catching something (immune deficient, for example), I would think it was totally appropriate. Otherwise, a bit much. But that's just me.

I'm not a big baby-toucher, I guess, but when I touch a baby who isn't my own (or a very close friend/relative's, I suppose), I typically touch them on the foot or perhaps the head (not the face, but the head), if they have a particularly fluffy head of hair or something. And if my kids are ever admiring a baby and look like they're about to touch, I always suggest, why don't you touch the baby on his/her foot (unless the parent seems uneasy with my kids' admiration in the first place, in which case I usually direct them away from the baby altogether).

To me, that sign might as well just say, "My mom/dad is over-protective of me to the point that, regardless of what you do, she or he views you as a threat to me, so just keep moving." And that may be precisely what you want to convey, in which case, I think that sign is perfect.









Okay, I'm probably over-reacting a bit, but I'm personally not into the idea of putting what looks like a warning label on my baby--unless, like I said, there was a real reason for concern because my baby's immune system was suppressed or compromised or something.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

I wouldn't use one b/c I'll just say it to them, I'm never far enough away to not be able to catch someone and I don't hesitate. I can see the first sign of the 'move-in.'

But I don't think it's too bad. I would probably laugh at it silently if I saw one but I definitely think that under certain conditions it could considered a valuable sign for some families.


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## textbookcase (May 31, 2007)

I agree, I wouldn't do it unless my child had special medical reasons for not needing to be touched.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

Yeah, aside from medical reasons... Not my thing.

Is this for first babies








? Because I don't think this has much use for ones with big brothers or sisters who are toddlers or pre-schoolers. The little old lady who wants to touch baby's cheek is probably cleaner than the troupe of 4 year olds with sicky hands and runny noses who come up and just hug him and can't read the sign anyway







. Or the cheerio baby discovered at the bottom of their carseat... Or the shoe they are teething on... or the sippy bottle that is not theirs that you find them drinking from... or... You get the idea. But, the idea of germs don't bother me so much... I figure, stronger immune system (within reason, of course)!


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## artemis80 (Sep 8, 2006)

I think that's waay over the top. I would laugh if I saw that (and feel sorry for the kid). If I didn't want someone touching my baby, it would be because I didn't know the person, or they gave me a weird vibe, anyway. Not because of cooties, germs, etc.


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## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

I'm another one who would only consider getting one of these for medical reasons.


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## Zan&Zav (Nov 25, 2006)

I made one for my son when he came home from the hospital. Everywhere I went people were grabbing at him and his immune system was crap at the time. I got him out of the hospital after 2 months and I wasnt risking him going back. I didnt realize you could buy them







Mine just said "please dont touch me i am a preemie"


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## artemis80 (Sep 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Zan&Zav* 
I made one for my son when he came home from the hospital. Everywhere I went people were grabbing at him and his immune system was crap at the time. I got him out of the hospital after 2 months and I wasnt risking him going back. I didnt realize you could buy them







Mine just said "please dont touch me i am a preemie"

See, that's fine. Your son was a preemie and the sign wasn't so over the top.


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## maygee (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl* 
I am in this camp as well. It strikes me as rather passive-aggressive.

Of course, I am not bothered by people touching my kids. I'm the one who, at a Thai restaurant in Norfolk, let my waitress carry my eldest (only, at the time) around the dining room to show her off to the other employees while I ate my lunch (I could see her the whole time).

I'm not germophobic in the least, and my children haven't suffered from being touched.

ITA!


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Ridiculous.

I don't wash my hands before I touch my babies, and I wouldn't expect someone else to, either. I always liked when people came up and loved on my infants -- why would I want to insult or turn away someone who just wants to tell me how cute and sweet my kid is, and get themselves a little baby fix?

So silly, I'd never dream of using one and I would laugh if I saw one.


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

I would possibly use one. I am not against germs at all for older babies but seriously, half of people don't even wash after they poop I really don't need them sticking their fingers in my newborns face. I hate that!


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## yogafeet (Jul 3, 2007)

This sign is give out by the makers of Synagis. Synagis is the RSV shot preemies and other weak-immune-system babies get. My twins were born at 30 weeks and it is essential that until they are 1 and through RSV season we are crazy vigilant about hand washing and keeping them away from people. These signs are extremely helpful when we have to take them out.

Thank your lucky stars that you have a full term healthy baby and can have the luxury to chuckle about signs like that.

Even when i wear my babies in a sling people try to touch their hands and faces. Twins are seen as unique and they attract a lot of attention that singletons are not used to.


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## Krisis (May 29, 2008)

I second yogafeet. My son was in the NICU forever and it scared the crap out of me when he came home that people wanted to touch him. I am a very personal-bubble person and did NOT like people encroaching on my son's bubble.

I was friends with a Synagis rep at the time and he got me one of those signs. It hung on Toby's stroller/bucket seat for a long time.

I always thought it was a good idea, and I'll probably use it for my next baby, even if it's a healthy one. I don't like stranger cooties touching me, and I certainly don't want them on my kids.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yogafeet* 
This sign is give out by the makers of Synagis. Synagis is the RSV shot preemies and other weak-immune-system babies get. My twins were born at 30 weeks and it is essential that until they are 1 and through RSV season we are crazy vigilant about hand washing and keeping them away from people. These signs are extremely helpful when we have to take them out.

Thank your lucky stars that you have a full term healthy baby and can have the luxury to chuckle about signs like that.

Even when i wear my babies in a sling people try to touch their hands and faces. Twins are seen as unique and they attract a lot of attention that singletons are not used to.









: We barely took dd out for her first 6 months, but when we did I was always shocked how many people wanted to come up and touch her face and hands. I wish I had had one of these because I could have really used it.


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## lolalola (Aug 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
Ridiculous.

I don't wash my hands before I touch my babies, and I wouldn't expect someone else to, either. I always liked when people came up and loved on my infants -- why would I want to insult or turn away someone who just wants to tell me how cute and sweet my kid is, and get themselves a little baby fix?

So silly, I'd never dream of using one and I would laugh if I saw one.

I agree with this.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
I'll be honest...

I would roll my eyes at a sign like that and probably laugh about it later. I would never touch someones baby without asking first though. I don't really get strangers touching DS in the sling but if they do, it doesn't bother me. Maybe when he was really young it would have bothered me but I think people just knew from my vibes not to touch him.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yogafeet* 
This sign is give out by the makers of Synagis. Synagis is the RSV shot preemies and other weak-immune-system babies get. My twins were born at 30 weeks and it is essential that until they are 1 and through RSV season we are crazy vigilant about hand washing and keeping them away from people. These signs are extremely helpful when we have to take them out.

Thank your lucky stars that you have a full term healthy baby and can have the luxury to chuckle about signs like that.

First, I think pretty much everyone has said it's preposterous for HEALTHY babies - totally over the top and yes funny/anal/whatever... but no one has said mothers of sick babies shouldn't use them.

Second, there's almost nothing I don't know about Synagis, and I can tell you it STILL made me roll my eyes to think of a sign like that used for a healthy baby. Almost because of how signs like that should be used, it's even more ridiculous to use them with healthy babies.


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

This is why "it takes a village" doesn't work, and it's part of why many of the "villagers" are so resentful and intolerant of children.


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## emdeecee_sierra (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Seriously though, I think the real sign should be:
"Please read this sign to give yourself time to remember that you always need to ask permission before touching another person's baby."
















So true!


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
I'll be honest...

I would roll my eyes at a sign like that and probably laugh about it later. I would never touch someones baby without asking first though. I don't really get strangers touching DS in the sling but if they do, it doesn't bother me. Maybe when he was really young it would have bothered me but I think people just knew from my vibes not to touch him.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *alicia622* 
I think the sign is OTT unless your child has a medical condition that makes getting a cold a medical emergency. Of course, I don't touch strangers babies and I don't recall many strangers touching DS when he was an infant.

Yes to these.


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## willibug (Jan 4, 2002)

If a child had special needs, then fine.

If not, NO!! Overkill. I never washed my *own* hands before touching my baby's. I can't imagine being so paranoid with a normal child.


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

I'd like one that simply says: Don't Touch Me.

Or "Bugger Off"


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## karliyanchus (Jan 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~*Jaime* 
Do strangers touch babies a lot? That would freak me out. I mean, I can see small kids touching babies, but adults?

old ladies always tried to touch my babies, twins especially. i mostly didn't mind. they'd cluck them under the chin, or pinch chubby cheeks, wiggle a foot. give me crap for not keeping them warm enough, tell me their own personal twin story, and also tell me how lucky i was. it was a total pick me up when ever i took the girls out in public.

what i didn't like was when someone let their snotty nosed toddler touch my babies while waiting in line at the groceries or something. or say, "oh honey touch the baby's hand, not her head...." um i'd rather the baby got germs on the top of it's head, soft spot or no, instead of on the baby's hand, ick.

i'm sure there's no guarantee that old ladies are any less germy, it was just a reactionary thing with me personally. i did NOT like toddler strangers touching my babies. usually i just grinned through gritted teeth and discreetly tucked blankets or something to end it.


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## karliyanchus (Jan 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl* 
I am in this camp as well. It strikes me as rather passive-aggressive.

Of course, I am not bothered by people touching my kids. I'm the one who, at a Thai restaurant in Norfolk, let my waitress carry my eldest (only, at the time) around the dining room to show her off to the other employees while I ate my lunch (I could see her the whole time).

A friend explained to me that some of the more superstitious will touch my daughters for protection against the evil eye, I think because they're blonde. It's a superstition in some parts of Mexico, apparently (heavy immigrant population here, obviously). My MIL, mother of two blond boys, told me that blond kids are also considered good luck in Spain, and she constantly had people touching the boys and even giving them candy because of this.

I'm not germophobic in the least, and my children haven't suffered from being touched.

lol i've done that, letting the waitress show them off. i could see why that might sound horrifying, but it was harmless at the time.


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## Sailor (Jun 13, 2006)

Oh, I so want that sign. We're TTC number one. I'm originally from Europe - I am used to washing my hands before all meals, and every time I come inside the house (from being outside) and, always, before touching a baby. So, to me, this is the norm.

However, I noticed it's a little different in America. I certainly don't want stranger's touching my kid when we're out. This looks like a nice way of saying that.


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

_Moderator's note: This thread has been moved because its topic is appropriately hosted in Parenting not in Talk Amongst Ourselves._


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## OhDang (Jan 30, 2008)

it kinda remindes me of like a petting zoo. :\


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## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

I like that sign! Wouldn't use it, but I like it.

I get soooo frustrated by these little old ladies coming up, getting in my son's face, talking baby talk to him and making him cry. He doesn't like many strangers! (Well, unless they're young, pretty females, and then he winks at them and grins. He's SUCH a flirt!) I can't stand it when someone comes up to touch him. With kids, I don't mind so much because usually the parent will come up to the kid and say, "Oh no, you can't do that sweetie. It's not ok to touch other people's baby's." And then I just pull out the baby wipes and wipe his hands off. But adults KNOW better. And my son doesn't seem as upset by kids getting in his face as adults. Maybe because adults are bigger and more intimidating?


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## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Miss Manners would probably say, better that sign than "eff off and get your hands off my kid, weirdo!"

(What, can you tell I ride public transportation??)


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## MommaFox (Jul 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alisteal* 
I have had people I've never met go as far as to try and unstrap my kids from strollers or carseats to paw at them

Yeah, uhm... I'd be in jail for smacking grown people's hands. Seriously, what kind of idiot does this?? About the hand-wasking sign; I can totally see it if your baby has medical needs that have to be met, but other than that, well, I didn't wash my hands before I touched my son, and I don't anticipate doing it before I touch this one. But total strangers walking up to the baby and smearing thier gobby old hands over them, eew. Not from a germy point of view but from a "Who are you, you odd, odd person and why are you touching my baby when I don't even know your first name?"


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## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bunnyflakes* 
Do strangers touch babies a lot? That would freak me out. I mean, I can see small kids touching babies, but adults?

I had a lady reach into my sling and try to pick up my 2 or 3 week old baby. I was shocked!

I always ask before I touch a baby, even my friends kids.


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## MommaFox (Jul 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thursday Girl* 
I had a lady reach into my sling and try to pick up my 2 or 3 week old baby. I was shocked!
.

See, this is why I'd be in jail. Not only are you #1 in my personal space. You're also #2 In my baby's personal space, #3 Trying to take my baby, #4 I don't know you and you could be a baby snatcher for all I know.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

I think that it's a good idea. I hate when people that I don't know touch my son, and a big part of the reason is that I don't know if they have clean hands or not. I don't care if someone at home hasn't washed their hands or if one of my friends hasnt, but for the most part, I know where there hands have been.

something that happened to me today, I went to the store and the cashier said "oh he's so cute!" then she stuck out her arms and said "would he come to me?"

I didnt like that very much lol.


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## Penelope08 (Aug 25, 2008)

question from a childless person:

Is it rude to _ask_ to touch or hold someone's baby?

If it is your friend's baby, do you have to ask before touching them, say on the hair or hands? I always just thought people would like their kids getting attention.

I think I may have been annoying people without realizing it.

(edit: i dont ask to touch stranger's kids, but i might ask an acquantaince that i dont know well. i will make sure not to do this anymore.)


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Penelope08* 
question from a childless person:

Is it rude to _ask_ to touch or hold someone's baby?

If it is your friend's baby, do you have to ask before touching them, say on the hair or hands? I always just thought people would like their kids getting attention.

I think I may have been annoying people without realizing it.

I have no problem with friends asking to hold my babies, or touching them without asking first (whether or not they've washed their hands







). Unless they're sick, I suppose.

Now, strangers trying to touch my babies freak me out; strangers asking to hold my babes get a weird look and a "no".


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

The sign made me laugh because I wanted something similar for DD. Actually I wanted a sign that said "Ask before you touch" because everyone seemed to want to touch her. When we moved to Japan she was 4 months old and over here its not uncommon to touch or even hold complete stranger's babies. I didn't use a sling or anything like that until we got out here and it was the only way to keep people away from her.

For a premmie I would definetly get the sign and enforce it with people wanting to touch them. They are already going to be more prone to infections, I wouldn't risk having a baby go back into the hospital after he/she finally gets home. For a full term baby I like the ask before you touch rule. Also, if "Im a complete stranger in a supermarket than stay away from my 2 day old" rule. (yes, I had a complete stranger try to take DD from me at a supermarket because she wanted to hold her).


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## isisreturning (Jul 16, 2007)

i had a similar sign on dd's stroller when she was undergoing high-dose chemo. she had NO immune system. so it was pretty important to try to discourage folks from touching her.

that said, almost no one noticed the sign and people proceeded to try to touch her all the time - especially her hands, which she frequently chews on.

i just nicely said, "oh sorry but she's getting chemo and is immuno-suppressed. please don't touch her."

as for using a sling as preventative: we had to carry a LOT of stuff around with us so needed the stroller as luggage cart - sometimes she was in the sling and sometimes she wanted to ride in the stroller.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

As a first time mom, I would have used that sign with my newborn. People constantly came up and touched on her hands and face. I'd back up and avoid touches at all possible. It drove me bonkers. It's not polite.

I started getting way more laxed when dd started crawling. She wasn't the pure, clean baby anymore that needed to live in a bubble, yk? She was eating dog food, dog hair, getting my shoes and chomping on them, putting anything/everything in her mouth, etc etc.

The older dd gets (the older I get), I'm more open to people touching her. It makes people happy to carress that soft baby leg or that chubby little arm. One of these days when I'm old and feeble and my baby and grandbabies are all grown up I'll want to caress someones baby at the store too.

If I saw a mom with a sign of "dont touch the baby" I'd smile, remembering that I was that mom too. And I would hope that her baby will teach her the things that mine has taught me.


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## sungodis (Jun 18, 2006)

ITA. I let people hold DS all the time and people used to touch him alot when he was little. He is such a healthy little guy, too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl* 
I am in this camp as well. It strikes me as rather passive-aggressive.

Of course, I am not bothered by people touching my kids. I'm the one who, at a Thai restaurant in Norfolk, let my waitress carry my eldest (only, at the time) around the dining room to show her off to the other employees while I ate my lunch (I could see her the whole time).

A friend explained to me that some of the more superstitious will touch my daughters for protection against the evil eye, I think because they're blonde. It's a superstition in some parts of Mexico, apparently (heavy immigrant population here, obviously). My MIL, mother of two blond boys, told me that blond kids are also considered good luck in Spain, and she constantly had people touching the boys and even giving them candy because of this.

I'm not germophobic in the least, and my children haven't suffered from being touched.


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## anywaybecause (Jul 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bunnyflakes* 
Do strangers touch babies a lot? That would freak me out. I mean, I can see small kids touching babies, but adults?

The first time I was out with my just-home-from-the-NICU preemie twins in the middle of the winter, I had a woman who was clearly in the midst of a miserable cold try to touch their FACES. (We're talking dripping, rubbed-raw nose, tearing eyes, hacking cough . . . ) When I refused to let her, explaining that she was obviously ill, she actually tried to convince me it was allergies. Many people have no common sense.

I don't know that I would buy the sign, but I do think that anyone who would be *offended* by it feels waaaaay too entitled wrt other people's children.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I think it i terribly rude, antisocial and litle bit paranoid. no wonder no on touchs ayone any more.

but I am an affectionat touchy feely cuddly kissing friends kind of person so don't mind me . . .


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## MamaLuvsMatthew (Aug 20, 2008)

If a babe has special needs then maybe a sign like this would be warranted otherwise I think it is just plain rude. Who cares if someone shakes your babies foot or hand. Do you want to teach the child to be repulsed by others. I welcome a nice foot or hand shake or even a hair ruffle. If someone tried to do more or they were clearly ill, then I would flatly have the courage to say back off.

We are attachment people, not just mothers. I want a society where people want to be close in a reasonable way and not focused on ourselves all the time. It is so perfectly normal to want to touch a baby since they are so darn cute for a reason.

All that said, I am afraid to touch anyone's baby because of posts like this. So I steer clear unless it is a friends baby, and even then I keep my distance.

Oh and finally, our society is overly sanitized and there are theories that is why allergies and asthma is on the rise.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CanidFL* 
I would roll my eyes at a sign like that and probably laugh about it later. I would never touch someones baby without asking first though. I don't really get strangers touching DS in the sling but if they do, it doesn't bother me. Maybe when he was really young it would have bothered me but I think people just knew from my vibes not to touch him.

Yeah. This would be me and DH. We'd look at each other sideways and laugh once we got home.

We probably make things hard for other people. I have no problem with people touching our babies. I've let a stranger hold one of our kids more times than I can count.

This seems to be very cultural. A friend of mine teaches ESL and all of the 19 year old guys in her class want to know what's up with people here, and why can't they touch babies, and pick up little kids and pinch their cheeks. When we were in Morocco people were all over the kids.


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## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

I guess I look at the baby touching thing differently than some. My baby isn't just a baby. He's a person, a real human being with as many rights as the rest of us. He deserves his personal space and not to have strangers being all touchy feely on him.

How would you feel if a stranger came up to you and patted your hand? Kissed your cheek? Tried to hug you? Why is it different for babies but not adults? I just don't want strangers touching me or my baby. Maybe I'm cold and standoffish, but hey, my baby, my choice.


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

A sign that just said "Don't touch me" would have been really helpful for ds, not for my comfort, but for his. As soon as he had the coordination to move his hands at will any time a person tried to grab his hand he would pull his hand away and get this look on his face like "WTH?!". My anti social niece thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world to see a four month old giving a stranger a disgusted look.









He's much more social now, thankfully! He was blowing kisses to a cashier tonight as we left the coffee shop


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
I guess I look at the baby touching thing differently than some. My baby isn't just a baby. He's a person, a real human being with as many rights as the rest of us. He deserves his personal space and not to have strangers being all touchy feely on him.

How would you feel if a stranger came up to you and patted your hand? Kissed your cheek? Tried to hug you? Why is it different for babies but not adults? I just don't want strangers touching me or my baby. Maybe I'm cold and standoffish, but hey, my baby, my choice.

I feel this way too since watching how my ds reacted to strangers touching him (my other post explains this). I cannot stand people taking liberties with my pregnant belly. I don't understand why pregnant women and babies are public property.


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## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
I guess I look at the baby touching thing differently than some. My baby isn't just a baby. He's a person, a real human being with as many rights as the rest of us. He deserves his personal space and not to have strangers being all touchy feely on him.

How would you feel if a stranger came up to you and patted your hand? Kissed your cheek? Tried to hug you? Why is it different for babies but not adults? I just don't want strangers touching me or my baby. Maybe I'm cold and standoffish, but hey, my baby, my choice.

That's totally how I feel. And I don't think it's cold or antisocial to not want to be touched without permission, or touched when you just don't feel like being touched, or whatever. There are all different kinds of people and some enjoy strangers handling them, others do not!


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
I guess I look at the baby touching thing differently than some. My baby isn't just a baby. He's a person, a real human being with as many rights as the rest of us. He deserves his personal space and not to have strangers being all touchy feely on him.

How would you feel if a stranger came up to you and patted your hand? Kissed your cheek? Tried to hug you? Why is it different for babies but not adults? I just don't want strangers touching me or my baby. Maybe I'm cold and standoffish, but hey, my baby, my choice.

I can see your point.

I tend to have Mothers offer their babies to me, especially at church. Kind of freaked me out for a while there, because I had zero expirience with babies. I would always say "I was a Nanny for a toddler, not an infant!" but I have learned


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
I guess I look at the baby touching thing differently than some. My baby isn't just a baby. He's a person, a real human being with as many rights as the rest of us. He deserves his personal space and not to have strangers being all touchy feely on him.

How would you feel if a stranger came up to you and patted your hand? Kissed your cheek? Tried to hug you? Why is it different for babies but not adults? I just don't want strangers touching me or my baby. Maybe I'm cold and standoffish, but hey, my baby, my choice.

i too think babies are real people and therefore entitled to affection and personal touch and kisses. Babies aren't little morons. if they don't like someone or something they will let you know.

and honestly strangers come up to me and hug and kiss and touch me all he time. but I run with a fairly touchy feely crowd.

People are fre not to like that but just because some people don't get that reaction doesn't mean they think of babies as sub human bcause they want to love on hem a little.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Another vote for being annoying and over the top.


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

I think it's rediculous. the parent can certainly speak up. why so lazy?
I find the sign a bit over the top and bordering on passive aggressive.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

Adults (strangers) DO touch each other. We shake hands when we meet someone new, in many places around the world people exhange kisses, someone might touch you lightly on the arm or shoulder to get your attention...

Babies absolutely deserve their space, and if it is clear that the baby doesn't like it and can't say it is mom's job to defend that space... But my son always liked people talking to him and touching him in a gentle way







. In general, didn't mind at all (there was this one time when this strange woman literally RAN up to my husband, started tugging at my son and clapping and demanding to hold him- now, _that_ was weird and my husband definately went into protector mode... But the little old lady who would give a finger for him to squeeze while he giggled at her, go right ahead!).


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## 2goingon2 (Feb 8, 2007)

Yeah - I agree it's over the top. I'd have to smirk if I saw that sign in use. That being said however...don't come up and touch my baby if I don't know you. That is just common sense. I would never dream of approaching a stranger and reaching out and touching her child. Never. I've had many folks touch my son and I am always surprised. I haven't had to say anything because they have been gentle touches on the back of his head while we were in restaurants and such and he was sitting up. Now, if someone tried to touch his hands or his face, yeah, I'd step in and say something like...please don't touch him...we don't know you or simply please don't touch his face.


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

I think I would feel more comfortable with a cute t-shirt with the message, but I also never used purell, I'm not a hand washer. I'm more paranoid about touching *any* surface in the restroom - I'd rather have my own pee on my hands. I've never worried about my kids exposure to everyday germs. In the hospital OTOH I am *very* careful. I used to go to a lot of births, and I had separate slippers to wear when I got to the room so I didn't contaminate my shoes with my dirty socks and I do wash my hands there, before and after.

Am I a schizo germ phobe or what? lol. I figure day to day, I'd rather boost my kids immunity. I do get po'd at people who show up at my house w/ snotty noses/coughs or send their kids to school this way. If everyone who got snot and coughs would just stay home and rest, they and my family would feel better sooner

Off my confusing soapbox now


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## dogmom327 (Apr 19, 2007)

I'm personally not scared of germs but I absolutely hate it when people I don't know touch DS. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much but it just feels unsafe. I only recently started letting DS ride in a shopping cart (he loves it) but I'm still not happy about it. I'd prefer he be in a sling and only in a sling as long as possible.

I agree with the OP that my first thought would be for the person to use a sling but then again I guess if you are going to use a stroller, anything cute that can discourage strangers pawing at your baby is probably a good thing.


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## AlwaysByMySide (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NiteNicole* 
This is why "it takes a village" doesn't work, and it's part of why many of the "villagers" are so resentful and intolerant of children.

My thoughts exactly.

Of course, I'm another one who will let waitresses carry around my child (I've got pictures of my oldest being passed around to a number of employees at the Polynesian Cultural Center's luau a couple of years ago), will put my kids in a shopping cart, and don't mind if people want to feel little baby fingers around one of their adult fingers, or tickle some cute baby toes.

A little toe tickling to get a big grin out of my son...he enjoys the toe tickling, the person who did the tickling gets to see that they made a baby smile, they generally smile back, and I'm happy that my kid made someone else happy for a second or two.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

I just can't believe anyone would pay money for something that looks so cheap. Neon pink?

Also: it's just overkill in addition to being tacky. Of course, if I don't want someone touching my babes I have no problem letting them know all on my own - as my husband often reminds me, I don't have an issue with being direct.


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## Devaya (Sep 23, 2007)

it's silly but kind of funny too. I have been annoyed sometimes by strangers touching my baby - yes, even in a sling - especially bc it's usually people who are smoking or are just generally not very ...um...wholesome-looking. I find it invasive, just as I did people touching your bump when pregnant... but I wouldn't use a sign like that, it's a bit much!


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## Robinna (Aug 11, 2003)

Another vote for tacky & antisocial.

And while I agree that babies are whole beings and deserving of respect, I don't see being touched as disrespect - in fact, quite the opposite. People who touch babies and small children generally do it because they're child-worshippers, and that's the whole reason. I think it's very healthy to want contact with the pure, whole beings that children are. If someone (stranger, whoever) is approaching my child with that kind of sweet attitude, by all means teach my child that people are good and interact with them in a positive way, and I don't care if you touch them, whatever. If you seem like a creep who wants to touch my child for some other reason, I'll find a way to keep my kids away from you. I don't need a sign. Or, if one of my kids demonstrated that they didn't want to be touched, or didn't want to be touched by THAT person, I would follow their cues. But babies and children are not born with a need for a space bubble around them; personal space issues are socially conditioned and are different culturally around the world. This is something we learn, not something we're born with, and a child who hasn't yet bought into this aspect of social conditioning is not going to be universally offended by somebody touching them, and I think it short changes them to assume that they have the same hang-ups as adults. I believe that like anything, this is an area where we should be following our child's cues and not making assumptions about what they do and don't want.

PS - I'm not scared of germs in any way. bring 'em on.


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