# Taking GOOD care of ourselves - April08



## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

This is a thread for motivation and support for women who are ready to commit to taking care of themselves after pregnancy and/or birth loss(es). The ways we individually choose to take care of ourselves may vary widely, but I hope that everyone here who is ready to embark on this journey will find support here.

Let me know if you'd like to be added to our ROLL CALL below. If none of the categories apply to you, let me know!

*GETTING READY*
erin_brycesmom
Jaclyn7
labortrials
Matilda z

*TAKING CARE*
DreamsInDigital
Skybluepink02


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

I really want to take better care of myself. I want to TTC again and I want to up my chances by getting myself in a healthier state. I also feel like it will help me to have some kind of goal that will actually be obtainable and exercising seems like one of the only things that I know I can be successful with. I'm still feeling pretty crampy (d&e 5 days ago) but I've been doing light weights every night and just some simple floor exercises. The next thing I want to look into is doing a detox.


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

i guess you could say i'm getting ready, because i'm working out every day, but i'm also still drinking wine here and there, and 2 cups of coffee in the morning....so i'm not exactly doing everything right. but I am working out pretty hard


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

I'd like to join. Since my M/C in January, I've been eating fast food almost every night and gaining a lot of weight. I'm coming out the other side of it trying to get healthy to try again, but I'd love some support.


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## sarahcecile (Mar 3, 2004)

What a great idea,

I'd like to join in. I need to stop eating sweets and garbage and get my bootie moving again. I'm running out of pants that fit.







In theory we were going to try again when we moved into our new house - but that's supposed to be the end of May, so I have a lot of work to do before then.

I would very much welcome the support and encouragement.

Sign me up.

- Sarah


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## ScootchsMom (Feb 12, 2007)

I'll join too. We are not TTC again until at least midsummer (July or August) and I've decided to use that time to improve myself as much as possible. I want to lose weight and get back to eating healthy instead of the crap fast food I've been eating which is making me break out all over the place, yuck. I also need to get my cycles under control, and I think getting myself healthy will do the trick.

So, my goal for today is to buy a jogging stroller and new sneakers.


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## perl (Jan 17, 2006)

I have a therapy appointment today - at 11:00.

Of course I don't really want to go, but I know that ultimately it will help me get out of this horrible funk that I've been in for weeks now.

So yea to me for being brave and proactive (gawd, I hate that word) about my mental health!


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## Bennie45 (Apr 7, 2008)

I agree I think that keeping yourself healty, pherhaps will help some little ones to stick. I have been drinking 8 glasses of water a day, Eating my veggies and fruit. Trying to get healthyer but have to start somewhere right!!. I just need to get my bootie back out walking, even just for 30m.


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## jmo (Mar 18, 2006)

I'm in. We're not ttc for quite awhile but I reallllly want to try and get back in shape. I have an appt to check out a gym on Monday. 3 pregnancies in 10months has not been kind on my body.


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

Just wanted to cheer everyone on and say I'm thinking of you all!


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

Got paid today! I'm going cleaning all the junk out of the fridge and going shopping tomorrow for some healthy food to replace it. I'm also going to try to start walking at least 30 minutes starting tomorrow. DH is joining me, so hopefully peer pressure will help!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I am totally here and taking goodcare of myself now! I'm taking my supplements every day, showering every day and getting dressed! We are preparing to TTC in 3-5 months and I want to be healthy by then, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. Today was a good start. I talked with my midwife about everything I needed to do to get healthy and I AM DOING IT.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

I am trying to get back on track. Went food shopping last night and bought a lot of healthy snacks.

I am taking my supplements, trying to find an acupuncturist that will not break the bank, starting to meditate again. The weather is helping too. It is getting sunny and warmer here. That is always a better time for me to get motivated!

Now if I could just get my house cleaned without interruption!!! That would be a miracle!

Take care,
Jen


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Hey, I'm so happy to see you guys on here! *Just let me know where, specifically, to add you.* When someone is ready to ttc you can let me know, and I'll add you on the "rollcall" there as well. Cuz, that's big stuff!!

So I have to fess up . . .
I probably had 3 cups of coffee (cups meaning the 12-oz variety)
I'm on my 3rd alcoholic bevi tonight








I ate really yummy naughty french fries tonight

BUT . . . I did drink more water today . . . I still need to be drinking more, but it's a start.

TTC in July or August, perhaps . . .

Yay us for taking (or at least trying or at least considering) taking control of our health in whatever way we can at the moment!!!


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## jaclyn7 (Jun 9, 2005)

Add me to getting ready!

I've done a wog (walk / jog) every second day for the past week or so, I hope to make it a daily thing soon. I'm drinking my spearmint tea, but the water consumption and food thing is not going so well, but unfortunately / fortunately, I've eaten almost all the sweets so I have to get healthy.

I gained 10ish pounds at the start of school, another 5-10 while pregnant, and another 5+ since the miscarriage, so I would like to drop around 25 pounds before trying again.

Get healthy in the spring, stay healthy in the summer, and get knocked up healthy in the fall. I want to look cute pregnant and feel like I've given my next bean the best shot - I feel very guilty about my health with this passed one.


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## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

I am gearing up to treat myself better and to (hopefully) prepare to ttc. So far, in the plus column, I have continuted to exercise and my diet hasn't gone too haywire. I have quit taking unisom every night.

In the minus column, I am still taking melatonin every night and drinking at least one, sometimes more, glasses of wine each evening. I also am drinking too much coffee/diet soda.

My goals are to wean off all sleep aids, reduce caffeine and alcohol and continue to exercise and eat well. Thanks for starting this thread.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Add me to taking care! I am doing it!

I am drinking a glass of red wine or dark beer with dinner each night, on recommendation from my midwife to rebuild my blood supply. Not that I mind.








I am taking 50mg of iron, 150mg of B6, 100mcg of b12, 2,000mg of vitamin c and 800mcg of folic acid. Every day.
I am off soda permanently and am drinking water instead.
I am showering every day, washing my face and moisturizing, and getting out of my pajamas!
I am going outside for fresh air every day even when it's raining.
I am keeping my house clean, staying off the internet when my little ones are awake and spending all my spare time with my kids instead of hiding from the world in a book or online.
I am eating three meals and two snacks a day.
I am spending a few quiet moments alone in the morning before getting out of bed visualizing myself healthy and with a healthy pregnancy in my future.
I am making appointments to see an accupuncturist to treat my anemia and a naturopath to have my thyroid checked. I am going to see my midwife in 3 months to check my iron levels, and if it's all good, we will TTC in 3-5 months.

The only thing left is to quit smoking again, but that's on the agenda for tomorrow.


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## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

Wow, Dreams, your list is very inspirational. I am going to add some of those to mine. I like the idea of visualizing a healthy body and pregnancy.


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## Kim&Brooke (May 16, 2007)

i need to get ready as we are starting IVF soon and i want the best possible chance.

So from here on I'm going to:
make sure i eat every day (small steps)
drink more water
go to bed at a decent hour (oops its already midnight!!)

lets see how that goes...


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Lydia - ROCK ON!!!! You go girl!!

I washed my face last night before bed. That's about all I can be proud of. I showered this morning but still feel SO TIRED. Need . . . more . . . COFFEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! (And I'll try this water business too.)


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## MommaHeather (Mar 1, 2008)

Me, too.

Things I'm doing right: still taking vitamins every day

Bought a yoga cd, waiting for it in the mail.

I am making a dentist appointment. Hopefully that is a good thing...

Things I need to work on:
Better dieting
more exercise

that's all I can think at the moment.


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

You can add me to *Taking Care*. I've been trying again and will try this month in oh, about 2 days.







Here's what I"m doing so far

Prenatal every morning, along with EPO until ovulation and calcium and magnesium every night.

Trying very hard to cut out diet soda. It's so bad for me, but so addictive!

I don't drink anyways, so that's not really an issue

Cleared all the unhealthy food out of the fridge and have not had fast food in 3 days.

There are tons of other things I need to do, but small steps, I guess.


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

I drank at least 1L of water yesterday! And I've started drinking more herbal tea.

This isn't yet cutting down on my alcohol or coffee intake, but it's a start . . .


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## Kim&Brooke (May 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kim&Brooke* 
i need to get ready as we are starting IVF soon and i want the best possible chance.

So from here on I'm going to:
make sure i eat every day (small steps)
drink more water
go to bed at a decent hour (oops its already midnight!!)

lets see how that goes...

Okay so I have eaten something TWICE a day, every single day this week!







:
I havent had enough water i dont think...and ive been to bed after midnight each night. Hmm - not much progress I guess...Baby steps eh?


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## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

Ugh -- it's one step forward, two steps back for me.

I did quit taking unisom but I am afraid to stop the melatonin because I have had such awful insomnia. I know I need to take the plunge and stop but so far I haven't been able to do that. And I am having red wine every single evening.

On a positive note, I have continued to walk each day and that helps me feel better. I also went to the dentist and made an app't to have my eyes checked. I am washing my face and using moisturizers and sunscreen each day. I am drinking more water and still trying to wean off caffeine (but not much success there yet).


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

I am really sucking right now at everything!









I should be 18 weeks pregnant right now and am instead stressed out that I won't get AF on time. Oh, and I owe $650 for my last miscarriage and $420 for the previous one. We haven't been able to pay for either . . .


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## MommaHeather (Mar 1, 2008)

hugs ((labortrials)) One day at a time. You deserve to be treated well. Bills can wait. Do things to take good care of your mind, body and spirit. Hot tea / baths, relaxing, reading, a good movie...


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## Bennie45 (Apr 7, 2008)

Stay positive. Just pushing yourself to get hough the next mintue the next hour our the day. breeth deeply.


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

*Please add me to GETTING READY*.

I'm exercising everyday, and outside for the past week with all the glorious weather we've been having.

I'm still on maternity leave until June 9th, and then I'll be back at work four days a week. Getting close to fitting back into my pre-prenancy clothes, Yay!

I'm taking more supplements than I've ever taken before - prenatal, extra folic acid, extra vit. D, fish oil, probiotic.
I feel very good about myself and I just know that this is going to be a great year - didn't I already get to meet my darling little boy?
Our family feels so tight and wonderful, do you know what I mean? We are so close.
My home is looking good, the wilderness that is my backyard is slowly getting tamed as I channel my inner-German.

I'm pumped to TTC in June.

Let's go Ladies!!!!!!


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## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Jenny, you *sound* great. How have you gotten to where you are now?

Bennie45 & MommaHeather - thanks for your support! It's a rollercoaster for sure!

Well the bad news is that I've been nursing a migraine all day. The good news is that I didn't have any alcohol today.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We will tentatively begin TTC in September and I am going to be good and healthy by then. I go in for a follow up H&H in a month. Hopefully all the supplements and everything are helping. I definitely *feel* a lot better though!


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

anyone here doing babyfit.com? just signed up myself.


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## Bennie45 (Apr 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *apmama2myboo* 
anyone here doing babyfit.com? just signed up myself.

What is it babyfit about??? YOur welcome labortrials: Anything I can do to help, been there myself. I find that if I don't have any achol in the house Im not tempted to drink it.


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/setup1.asp

it's a free tracker for what you're eating, a mom community, etc. you can enter in all your foods to make sure you're getting the right amounts of things. you can also do blogs there.


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

Hiya Kimberly,

I guess I'm doing okay because William was a very special baby. From the moment of conception every moment of his life was a miracle. He had trisomy 13, and it was fabulous that he survived to be born, let alone live for 17 days and be so beautiful!

We feel at peace with his life and death because it was all perfect. We are not religious, and see what happened as a normal part of nature - so this may also help. My mom feels very bitter, and I know she's angry with God. Whereas I don't feel even an inkling of blame - it is what it is, nothing more, nothing less.

So, now I'm channeling my semi-perfectionist to get myself ready for another pregnancy. It gives me something exciting to work for.

And, I have to say that without my awesome little girl, this would have been soooo much worse!

Love to everyone,


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## ScootchsMom (Feb 12, 2007)

I've tried to post three times today and kept getting interrupted, lol.

Anyway, I'm still here. I joined weight watchers last week and weighed in at 146. I weigh in tomorrow, so we see if I lost anything. I doubt it, it has been HARD getting back into eating healthy and watching points. But, even if I lost a half a pound, I'll be happy, lol.

I can't seem to get any exercise in though. I keep wanting too, but by the time I have free time, like right now







, I'm too tired, or there is something else that needs to be done. I think I'm going to get my butt up right now from the computer and go do an exercise video before I get even more tired.

I had to stop my vitamins again, they were screwing up my digestive system way too much, I didn't go #2 for 2 days and was feeling like I was going to explode. I have to find a vitamin that does not have iron in it, anyone know of one?

Liz


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## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

Today I bought a journal and some nice pens. My plan is to keep a self-care/health journal and to record things like how I am feeling, what exercise I get each day, which medications, if any, I take, how I sleep, if I have alcohol, etc. I hope this helps me be more accountable about the glasses of wine that quickly escalate from one to three glasses, the sleep aids, etc. Also, my eating has been kind of out of control lately and hopefully this will help with that too.


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## perl (Jan 17, 2006)

Kudos to all of you guys - I am inspired!









On the advice of my therapist, I've been practicing self compassion. It is surprisingly easy and has been so amazingly helpful. Instead of constantly beating myself up and feeling guilty about everything I ask myself, "What would I tell a friend who had laid around all day like a sloth, grumpily snapped at her child, ate all the chocolate, or felt like a lazy slob?" Of course, I would tell her that it is OKAY, that she is not a bad person, that tomorrow brings new choices,









It sounds like such a cheesy technique but has been sooo helpful to me. Just thought I'd share


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

I'm "Getting Ready". I really really want to be TTC but my body has not started ovulating yet. I know there is a lot to do to get ready but the only thing I'm really doing right now is eating healthy and exercising. I can feel my thyroid going crazy but I kinda feel like I should just wait a bit and see what it does before I try to do anything about it. I'm only 2 weeks out right now. The only thing I'm taking is prenatals as far as supplements go.


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

Hi *erin_brycesmom*, I'm in the same boat as you and haven't ovulated yet!

Tomorrow is my annual with family doc and I'm going to ask him for something to help bring on my periods so I can get started again.


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## Bennie45 (Apr 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *apmama2myboo* 
http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/setup1.asp

it's a free tracker for what you're eating, a mom community, etc. you can enter in all your foods to make sure you're getting the right amounts of things. you can also do blogs there.


Thankyou I will have to try it when I get preggers again.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacelovingmama* 
Today I bought a journal and some nice pens. My plan is to keep a self-care/health journal and to record things like how I am feeling, what exercise I get each day, which medications, if any, I take, how I sleep, if I have alcohol, etc. I hope this helps me be more accountable about the glasses of wine that quickly escalate from one to three glasses, the sleep aids, etc. Also, my eating has been kind of out of control lately and hopefully this will help with that too.

Good job getting started, Just keep up with it. It hink that the first step is the hardest. Like me I know I have to go walking and don't want to do it. Yet when I get our there and do it I don't want to stop. lol Weird huh.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Matilda_z* 
Hi *erin_brycesmom*, I'm in the same boat as you and haven't ovulated yet!

Tomorrow is my annual with family doc and I'm going to ask him for something to help bring on my periods so I can get started again.

How did it go? Did you get something to help? I had my post OP appt today and got a referal to an endo. The ob said he wouldn't be concerned unless I haven't gotten AF back within 4 months. I'll be so depressed if it takes that long. I felt some cramps yesterday but am trying not to get my hopes up.


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *erin_brycesmom* 
How did it go? Did you get something to help? I had my post OP appt today and got a referal to an endo. The ob said he wouldn't be concerned unless I haven't gotten AF back within 4 months. I'll be so depressed if it takes that long. I felt some cramps yesterday but am trying not to get my hopes up.

Sigh.

He said that he didn't want to give me anything and that he felt that my body would ovulate within the next few months on its own.

He's a wonderful doctor, I chose him because he is very supportive of breastfeeding. And, I am happy that he doesn't try to use drugs for every little thing. But, I'm frustrated. I reminded him that I'm 37 now an every month is important. He asked me not to put too much pressure on myself, not to get anxious.

*smile*

So, it looks like I'm still waiting.


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## Tellera (Oct 28, 2005)

I'm not sure I'm ready for this thread yet. But I want to be. Right now I'm still too sad and awful. Grief is overwhelming and the surreal moments of WTF-is-happening are often. But, I know that I can't go back to how I was after my first loss (early m/c), trapped too far down in the depression ether - it really messed me up for so long. So, being proactive.

I guess I'm already getting ready in one sense. I'm already seeing a grief counselor for the death of my mother, so I have that in place. Immediate damage control, I guess, to keep the depression from drowning me. I'm seeing her tomorrow.

Anyway - the short of it is that I delivered my second son very recently at 22 1/2 weeks and he passed away nearly instantly in my arms. I carried my first son to term 2 years ago; my second son's loss is likely due to cervical insufficiency, but possibly also/and/or a placental abruption, although we don't know why. I hope to be able to find some answers, but that is for the future, in case we ever decide that we might want to try again - which I can't even imagine right now.

For now, I am overwhelmed with pain, grief... I have this milk with without my sweet little one, I have this time off of work for my body to recover and it brings too much time to think.

I know I need to be proactive in taking care of myself. I'm eating through the appetite loss and taking joy in my living son who is so adorable with his blossoming words and beautiful soul. I am missing my second son all the time, remembering holding him for hours after he was born, holding the blanket that touched him and kissing his little urn in the mornings.

I'm going to go find my SARK books that are somewhere in this house, her writing has inspired me in the past, perhaps it will make me feel less horrible . I know her books aren't about baby loss, specifically, but she is about taking care and loving yourself.

DH is also grieving, but must take on more as I am really a mess. He is also trying to take good care of himself, so we are each trying to be loving to each other, even if that is just a soft word before sleep.

So, at some point I hope to be taking good care of myself, for now I guess I'm on my way to getting ready to do this.

Hugs to all of you here.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Matilda_z* 
Sigh.

He said that he didn't want to give me anything and that he felt that my body would ovulate within the next few months on its own.

He's a wonderful doctor, I chose him because he is very supportive of breastfeeding. And, I am happy that he doesn't try to use drugs for every little thing. But, I'm frustrated. I reminded him that I'm 37 now an every month is important. He asked me not to put too much pressure on myself, not to get anxious.

*smile*

So, it looks like I'm still waiting.


((HUGS))...I would be frustrated too. I hope that you have already ovulated or you will soon!!! I actually got my AF on Friday. I can't believe it! It was anovulatory though so I did not ovulate first. So, the real test will be next week to see if I O. I hope that you will get to find out soon!!!


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## ScootchsMom (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tellera* 
I'm not sure I'm ready for this thread yet. But I want to be. Right now I'm still too sad and awful. Grief is overwhelming and the surreal moments of WTF-is-happening are often. But, I know that I can't go back to how I was after my first loss (early m/c), trapped too far down in the depression ether - it really messed me up for so long. So, being proactive.

I guess I'm already getting ready in one sense. I'm already seeing a grief counselor for the death of my mother, so I have that in place. Immediate damage control, I guess, to keep the depression from drowning me. I'm seeing her tomorrow.

Anyway - the short of it is that I delivered my second son very recently at 22 1/2 weeks and he passed away nearly instantly in my arms. I carried my first son to term 2 years ago; my second son's loss is likely due to cervical insufficiency, but possibly also/and/or a placental abruption, although we don't know why. I hope to be able to find some answers, but that is for the future, in case we ever decide that we might want to try again - which I can't even imagine right now.

For now, I am overwhelmed with pain, grief... I have this milk with without my sweet little one, I have this time off of work for my body to recover and it brings too much time to think.

I know I need to be proactive in taking care of myself. I'm eating through the appetite loss and taking joy in my living son who is so adorable with his blossoming words and beautiful soul. I am missing my second son all the time, remembering holding him for hours after he was born, holding the blanket that touched him and kissing his little urn in the mornings.

I'm going to go find my SARK books that are somewhere in this house, her writing has inspired me in the past, perhaps it will make me feel less horrible . I know her books aren't about baby loss, specifically, but she is about taking care and loving yourself.

DH is also grieving, but must take on more as I am really a mess. He is also trying to take good care of himself, so we are each trying to be loving to each other, even if that is just a soft word before sleep.

So, at some point I hope to be taking good care of myself, for now I guess I'm on my way to getting ready to do this.

Hugs to all of you here.









I am so sorry for your losses and the loss of your mother. You are already taking a step in the right direction by seeing the grief counselor. Take care of yourself the best way possible.


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## MommaHeather (Mar 1, 2008)

I tried to take good care of myself. I'm slumping. I'm not eating right. My AF came pretty much as normal as it gets (first one since losing my baby, Luz). On monday I even did my yoga and watched the video. Really liked it.

Now, I stopped taking the vitamins, not eating enough. Because I'm depressed, and I don't feel hungry. I tried, just lost the drive.


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

My temperature is high this morning! I'm trying not to get over excited, but it's the highest it's been for the 50+ days I've been temping.

Yesterday, and actually for a few days now, I've been more emotional than normal. I don't know if this ever happens right before/during ovulation or if I'm just feeling normal after the loss of William. We shall see.


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

first off,







to Tellera. I can't imagine losing a baby and a mother like that, and I'm glad to hear you're in grief counseling. I don't know how anyone could cope without it. I lost my son at almost 20 weeks (3 days shy), so I know how hard that is. My son had a heartbeat until he was delivered. I hope you get the answers you seek. If you ever need to talk, you can also PM me.

taking care. I hope to do better in May. I picked up the Fertility Diet book at the library this week, and once AF leaves town (and i've gone thru my box of wine lol) I am going to be making some dietary changes as the book suggests and see if it helps. Currently I am working out every day, switching up yoga to hula dancing to bellydancing to taebo and turbo jam, strength training, so that I don't get bored of anything. It really seems to help me actually LOOK FORWARD to working out. If you have a dollar tree near you, check out their dvd section. ours had a ton of exercise dvd's that are only a buck, and some of them are really cool despite the kind of cheesy production level. If they don't work for you, you're only out a dollar. the company that makes them is natural journeys. They have a tantric toning one that has an optional color meditation at the end, which is kind of cool really and my 4yo likes to watch it lol. i've been great about eating well, drinking tons of water every day, BUT i still have 2 cups of coffee every morning and with AF in town am drinking some pinot noir for the cramp relief. once she's packed her bags, i'm going to get serious and cut out alcohol and do more meditation.

hope you're all feeling well, staying healthy and getting closer to your goals.


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## Bennie45 (Apr 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tellera* 
I'm not sure I'm ready for this thread yet. But I want to be. Right now I'm still too sad and awful. Grief is overwhelming and the surreal moments of WTF-is-happening are often. But, I know that I can't go back to how I was after my first loss (early m/c), trapped too far down in the depression ether - it really messed me up for so long. So, being proactive.

I guess I'm already getting ready in one sense. I'm already seeing a grief counselor for the death of my mother, so I have that in place. Immediate damage control, I guess, to keep the depression from drowning me. I'm seeing her tomorrow.

Anyway - the short of it is that I delivered my second son very recently at 22 1/2 weeks and he passed away nearly instantly in my arms. I carried my first son to term 2 years ago; my second son's loss is likely due to cervical insufficiency, but possibly also/and/or a placental abruption, although we don't know why. I hope to be able to find some answers, but that is for the future, in case we ever decide that we might want to try again - which I can't even imagine right now.

For now, I am overwhelmed with pain, grief... I have this milk with without my sweet little one, I have this time off of work for my body to recover and it brings too much time to think.

I know I need to be proactive in taking care of myself. I'm eating through the appetite loss and taking joy in my living son who is so adorable with his blossoming words and beautiful soul. I am missing my second son all the time, remembering holding him for hours after he was born, holding the blanket that touched him and kissing his little urn in the mornings.

I'm going to go find my SARK books that are somewhere in this house, her writing has inspired me in the past, perhaps it will make me feel less horrible . I know her books aren't about baby loss, specifically, but she is about taking care and loving yourself.

DH is also grieving, but must take on more as I am really a mess. He is also trying to take good care of himself, so we are each trying to be loving to each other, even if that is just a soft word before sleep.

So, at some point I hope to be taking good care of myself, for now I guess I'm on my way to getting ready to do this.

Hugs to all of you here.


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## Matilda_z (Dec 9, 2005)

My temps are back to the normal range now, so I'm not sure what's going on with me. My CM is egg white, though, and I've got some acne (yay!) on my chin, so I think that something is denfinitely going on... I just don't know what.

I'm still exercising every day, and taking all my supplements. I having been letting myself have a beer/cider/glass of wine whenever I feel like it - not more than one a day (usually








).

Skipped my weight watchers meeting last week. I just didn't feel motivated. Am considering just buying myself some larger sized clothes instead of killing myself over these last ten pounds... especially since I'm going to be pregnant soon anyway. sigh. I'm still trying to eat healthy, and less. I keep waiting for someone at the meetings to ask me about the baby, and that makes me nervous/anxious. That's the worst thing, having people come up to you and ask 'so how's the little one?', then I have to basically apologise to them that actually he died. It nearly kills me every time.


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## Junegoddess (Apr 17, 2007)

Big ol' thread bump here. I was searching around and found this.

Why is it so hard for us to take care of ourselves after a loss? I spent a couple of months after my stillbirth apparently punishing my body as hard as I could. Eating bad, drinking too much, staying up late, sitting in front of the computer all day... just really icky. Then I got inspired to get my body ready for trying again, and spent the next 8-9 months gradually doing a much better job. Really busted my butt to get my body ready.

And then my body betrayed me yet again.

So, I'm back in self-punishing mode. Because that's really helpful.









I just... haven't really decided it I want to try yet again. Looking back on all I did, and how it didn't even matter... it seems awfully daunting.

But NOT trying again means likely mistreating myself like this for months on end. Because if it's "just" for me, it's not worth the effort. *sigh*

Anyway, I'm hoping for a little push, and in case anyone else here needs a nudge in the right direction, here's what I'm going to do.

- NOT drink more than 2 alcoholic beverages per day. Doesn't matter how nummy the wine is, more is not better.
- remember to take all my freaking supplements, every day, no excuses. I am a miracle of modern supplementation. I bought the stuff, I should take the stuff.
- no more coffee. Well, no more than 1 cup per week. It makes me feel icky, I shouldn't drink it, it doesn't bring anything to the party beyond antioxidants that I can get somewhere else.
- I am going outside for fresh air every day even when it's raining. (got this one from DreamsInDigital) Sunshine and fresh air are GOOD. Slumping in my computer chair all day is BAD.
- I am going to exercise. Every single day. I need it.
- I am going to eat more greens and less carbs. Sugar is not my friend.
- I am going to pursue every available avenue to health- the Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor I recently looked up, chiropractic, NAET allergy treatments, and I will MAKE the







Army health system get me in to see a rheumatologist like they should have done a year ago.







: Autoimmune clotting disorder = in need of more "care" than a recommended daily baby aspirin.

So there.


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## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

I've treated myself to all kinds of goodies since losing our son. Not too much, but the times I sought comfort in food. I want to start up with T-tapp again. I enjoyed it so much before my pregnancy. I'd say I'm in the "getting ready" phase right now.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

I've been working out pretty much every day.. taking my vitamins and just trying to get my body ready for handling TWO pregnancies in a row.. it sucks, but gives me a reason to do these healthy things!

I also spent the first month after Dresden died, doing nothing good for my body.. it seems a common theme for us momma's of loss!


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I find it SO hard to exercise....I was walking on the bike trail at least 4 times a week up till Micah was born. haven't been on it since. *and* it's in my back yard! I need to get fit but I don't wanna...

I only posted so I could read what some of you are dong at a later time....I feel pretty fragile right now for some reason...


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## Milkymommi (Aug 29, 2003)

Interesting to see this title... I'm actually totally LIVING in this frame of mind right now. I feel like I need to get prepared for the future when we decide to have another babe. I want my body to be in tip top shape. Not that i'm sure this will do anything other than give me peace. That's what I'm going to need most anyhow.

I actually started writing this post last night and I was going to say I was starting Weight Watchers again today, yesterday







I'm actually really excited. I lost 54 lbs on WW before I had Micah and I fully intend to do it again... though I need to lose alot more than that now. I did then too but that was a HUGE accomplishment for me. Now I am 7 weeks pp and about 30ish lbs from my pre pregnancy weight. I've got a way to go but I've done it before so I know I will do it again. It's the only thing I've been successful with as far as weight loss. Only difference for me is I don't do the prepackaged meals or ww products- loaded with sodium and yucky stuff.

Doing all my supplememnts... going to see the ND to see if I need any changes. I'll also be starting some sort of excersize regiment again but I'm not sure what yet now that I live in the woods. I used to have a great walking track right accross the street from my house.

That's where I'm at. Will we continue to check in here and encourage eachother to meet our various goals? I like that idea.


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## Junegoddess (Apr 17, 2007)

I have not managed to actually _start_ any of the things I said. This is a really bad time of year for me (there, it's an excuse and I know it, but...). Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of when I'm pretty sure my daughter Camelia died in utero. Next Tuesday is her birthday.

I got confirmation today that my HcG levels have dropped to almost zero, showing that my miscarriage is complete. There had been a little bit of "tissue" showing on the ultrasound last week... and I have to admit, I had hope. I had one tiny little stupid shred of hope.

I'm trying to use my usual methods- shoving my emotions aside and being painfully logical about things- and it's just not working.

So, I'm probably not going to be able to start caring for myself until after the holidays. It's just too much right now.

I didn't eat a proper breakfast... barely ate lunch... haven't exercised in a couple of weeks. I did get out in the sunshine today.

And maybe we should start a new thread, since this one was from April.


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