# Yeah San Fran! 87 ceremonies performed today!



## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4251510/

87 ceremonies by day's end

In San Francisco, many couples started their day with no idea they would be wed by evening, and joked about rushing to City Hall as word spread.

"There is a part that doesn't feel romantic at all, but obviously it feels historic," said Guillermo Guerra, 29, who married Andrew Parsons, 39, his partner of eight years.

The day began quietly with the morning nuptials of longtime lesbian activists Phyllis Lyon, 79, and Del Martin, 83, who were hurriedly issued a married license and were wed just before noon by City Assessor Mabel Teng in a closed-door civil ceremony at City Hall. The two have been a couple for 51 years.

By the end of the day, 87 marriage ceremonies were performed, and 95 marriage licenses had been issued.

WOOOOO HOOOOOO

And from Yahoo: http://story.news.yahoo.com/fc?cid=3...s_and_Lesbians

"We're not going to the back of the bus. We're not not getting on the bus, we're not sitting at the lunch counter, we're just not taking civil union, domestic partnership, we're just not taking it anymore," Tyler said.

Publicity-friendly lawyer Gloria Allred said she would challenge the ban to the California Supreme Court.

"It's time to make a legal challenge," she said. "And so we will be filing the lawsuit. There are no appellate cases in California on this issue, and so we think it's long overdue and we're going to fight that fight now."


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## steph (Dec 5, 2001)

Quote:

The day began quietly with the morning nuptials of longtime lesbian activists Phyllis Lyon, 79, and Del Martin, 83, who were hurriedly issued a married license and were wed just before noon by City Assessor Mabel Teng in a closed-door civil ceremony at City Hall. The two have been a couple for 51 years.
Oh, how sweet!







It must be gratifying on some level to have a marriage licence, even if it's legality and benefit are doubious.... Can you imagine being with someone for *51 years* and not be considered legal partners (or in a committed relationship)? Dumbfounding imo.


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## burritomama (Aug 26, 2002)

here's to love!


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

So wait a second.

Understanding that clerks in City Hall printed up certificates, etc., etc. ... but these apparently aren't actually legal, they're kind of ... well, "civil disobedience" is the term that comes to mind.

Have I got that right?








:


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

oh, goddess, how i love this town.....


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

Yeah - Amy - civil disobediance is exactly what it was.

It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by bunny's mama_
*oh, goddess, how i love this town.....
























































*
Yeah, me too!


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

I have tears of joy... I can't imagine what this means to these people. I hope this works. I would so dearly love to see this become real.


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## IslandMamma (Jun 12, 2003)

I







San Francisco.... way to go!

I'd love some to see some other states join the party....


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## IslandMamma (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by kama'aina mama_
*I have tears of joy... I can't imagine what this means to these people. I hope this works. I would so dearly love to see this become real.*
ITA, Kama... can you even imagine being told that you can't marry the one you love? It's a total infringement of human rights, IMO.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)




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## 13moons (Aug 9, 2002)

It's about time! I was so stoked when I saw the news story(--my 9.5 yo dd agreed that it was a big step in the right direction!)








If anyone can do it, San Francisco can!!









Yay!!


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## jannan (Oct 30, 2002)

it is great! i am so happy to have been born and raised here!


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

And even better--- just in time for Valentines Day. They are going to keep it going all weekend!!!

Quote:

All day long, the marble passages beneath City Hall's ornate gold dome echoed with applause as one couple after another got hitched, promising to be "spouses for life." As of Friday afternoon, 489 couples had gotten married.


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## bunny's mama (Nov 19, 2001)

i was thinking today, what if other mayors in other cities around the country just started doing the same thing? like starting with provincetown, MA. and moving throughout the country. it would be hard to stop once it got going. there must be some more courageous, liberal mayors around the country. our dear gavin can't be the only one.

wow. real actual marriage licenses are being issued. this is just so wonderful. someone might try to come in and turn all these marriages illegal, but they can't go to everyone's home and take away the licenses that these folks have in their posession.

the times they are a'changin'. thank the goddess for that.


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

I would like to add a post of support! I think this is wonderful and I hope it spreads like wildfire around the country!!


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## pugmadmama (Dec 11, 2003)

I wept tears of joy when I read about the two women who had been together for 51 years finally being allowed to marry! I hope and pray that this will all end as it should, with lesbian and gay couples being granted the simple dignity of being allowed to marry.


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## Nelybel (Oct 16, 2003)

Every time I hear some tidbit about this on the tv or radio I want to say "you go girls"...which is silly cause I know its not just women! :->

NPR was saying that some judge up there turned some other lawyers away that were trying to stop things and said that they would have to wait till Tuesday. I just thought that was great! Wish this could happen everywhere.

Congratuations to everyone!
J


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Man, oh man... everytime I think of this I just get another big hot of joy! Thank God at last the ice is cracking and the thaw may be on the way!!!


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## Els' 3 Ones (Nov 19, 2001)

*Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. --Margaret Mead*


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## MelKnee (Dec 5, 2001)

I read that 665 couples had been married as of yesterday.









I think this is so awesome!









I hope it just keeps snowballing.


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## *Luna* (Nov 24, 2001)

Quote:

_Originally posted by MelKnee_
*I read that 665 couples had been married as of yesterday.








*
That is so great!

Ahhhh.... Love.... Goddess Bless SF!


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## 13moons (Aug 9, 2002)

The eleven o'clock news tonight said it was nearly 1000 couples now!! AND they are going to stay open and keep marrying couples all day Sunday and Monday which should be a holiday!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

OMGosh almost 1000 already?!?!?!








Yay!!!!!!!!!!!


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## mamacrab (Sep 2, 2002)

I think burritomama said it best:

To love!


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## artemesia (Nov 27, 2001)

I read an article about this earlier today and was happily surpised by it. It was never a topic I had ever thought about before untill my own wedding day. Two of our dear friends attended, a gay couple who had been together for a couple of decades, and J. said that he was suprised that K. had attended because he was so upset that "straight" couples could get married but they couldn't. This struck me so profoundly, and ever since I have thought that anyone who wanted to should be able to marry the one they love.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

GO SF!





















Makes me wish I was back there!


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Just a bump because this thread makes me so


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## Gemini (Apr 9, 2003)

This makes me so happy!!!!!!!!!


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

So are they actually legally married? Same as man-woman marrieds?

I sure hope so!


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

So are they actually legally married? Same as man-woman marrieds?
Sounds like til Tuesday at least! And no matter what happens then, they'll still have a legal marraige certificate.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Friday I watched a few snippets of the news and they showed a conservative group protesting about this. Going on and on about how it's illegal in CA and they were going to make sure it stayed that way.

When I lived in CA, I did not vote for the "defense of marriage act"







:

These people make me so mad. And I won't even go into the nasty nightmare I had about a similar topic last week. UGH, these hateful people really scare me.

Of course, on an upbeat note they also discussed plans to take this to the CA supreme court since there is no similar case pending. So hopefully the "defense of marriage act" law in CA can be declared unconstitutional.


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## Journey (Jun 12, 2002)

I just want to voice my support. I'm motivated by this movement. I want to go out and rally in support. I want to get my mayor to support gay marriage (doubtful that will ever happen, but hey!).


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## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

Truely beautiful! I'm so happy for these couples. How crazy is it that in this day and age a couple who barely knows each other, doesn't even like each other, and won't be married 1 year, and in some cases, one day (ahem, Brittney) can get married simply because they are a male and female couple, but two people who have loved each other for 51 years and have built a life together and will remain together until they day they die can't simply because they aren't?

I applaud you, SF! I can't wait until the day I can say that about every city.


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## Victorian (Jan 2, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Journey_
> *I just want to voice my support. I'm motivated by this movement. I want to go out and rally in support. I want to get my mayor to support gay marriage (doubtful that will ever happen, but hey!).* [/QUOTE
> 
> ITA! I was just thinking - What can we do to show our support for gay marriage? I was watching CNN this weekend and there was this guy going on and on about how "americans" don't want gay marriage and how "americans" want marriage to be a holy thing between men and women. ON and ON! It made me so mad. I guess that I am unamerican and all homosexual people are unamerican.
> ...


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Arduinna_
*Friday I watched a few snippets of the news and they showed a conservative group protesting about this. Going on and on about how it's illegal in CA and they were going to make sure it stayed that way.*
I am so thrilled about the marriages happening in CA, I am truly excited and hope that this is the beginning of something big for equal rights in this country.

But I cannot help but have this eerie, creepy feeling that it will end in violence or something horrible (I am such a stinkin' pessimist







: ). Quotes such as the above make me feel a little nervous.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

But I cannot help but have this eerie, creepy feeling that it will end in violence or something horrible
I didn't want to disrupt the party, but I have been having the same uneasy feelings about Tuesday.


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## Journey (Jun 12, 2002)

I have the same feelings. Those people who are trying to get it stopped are most likely in hiding. I wouldn't be surprised if several people have been thinking of retaliating violently. I wouldn't be shocked if a riot started tomorrow. By tomorrow, there will have been approximately 2000 marriage liscences handed out to homosexual couples. It's San Francisco baby. It's gonna be a mess.


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## 13moons (Aug 9, 2002)

Well, update from my local news tonight...probably some of you S.F. locals have more details, but here's what I've got and it's not entirely bad...
As of the end of the day today, 2,636 couples have been married!! So, yes, that's right, for those who were worried the courts would put a stop to it today, they have not!
What did happen was that they decided the marriages appear to be against CA law and issued a cease and desist order which means they are supposed to stop issuing marriage licenses, BUT, they made it non-binding which means something like they won't actually go and stop them (?-help me out, legal people!)
If S.F. has not stopped issuing licenses and marrying people by MARCH 27 (!), they will have to go to court and explain themselves.
The only other catch is that there is supposed to be some sort of hearing on Friday where the conservatives will get another chance to try and stop the marriages, but the news didn't say anything else about that.
Oh, and Arnie's office issued a statement that he is against the same-sex marriages but does support CA's domestic partnership laws







: ...he didn't have the guts to come out and say it himself I guess.

So, the marriages will continue for now!!!









And, a woman I know got married there over the weekend and she and her wife and son were on the news tonight and it was so sweet cuz the boy, who was 10,was almost in tears saying how proud he was of his moms!


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

According to the SF Chronicle, the judge refused the stay because of a misplaced semicolon in the proposed order he rec'd from the folks seeking to stop the marriages. Here's the link:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...932EST0125.DTL

(Thank you news.google)


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## dado (Dec 31, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Arduinna_
*I did not vote for the "defense of marriage act"*
i'm temporarily in ohio. "DOMA"-central, argh. i shake my head when i listen to the politicians decry the dearth of creative class and then turn around and pass garbage like DOMA.

hello?! the most creative subclass in america IS the gay community! they could revitalize the entire city of Cleveland tomorrow simply by enacting a Homophobe Free zone. the immediate migration would result in a renovation boom and there'd finally be somewhere decent to eat.

but no, they'd pass DOMA and build a convention center. a convention center? in cleveland? come on, who in their right mind is going to book a convention in cleveland?

ok, rant over, thanks for listening.







or not.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

I'm listening!














:

Who is renovating all of our fine old houses? Bob and his partner Tim. Jon and his partner Allen.

Watched HGTV lately? :LOL

With no gay men, our movie stars would have to go naked. Instead of almost naked.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Dado, I hope that was supposed to be at least a bit tounge in cheek cause I'm :LOL


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## dado (Dec 31, 2002)

yes, it was, a bit. the politics of this town can be sooooo frustrating sometimes. there are places in this country that truly are a write-of, cleveland is NOT one of them. there are tremendous assets here that could be used to create a thriving mid-level city.

but the people running the show...argh...


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

here is an interesting perspective on the marriage issue. This brings in a lot of local politics; the Mayor who is making this happen is a darling of developers and in many way no friend to oppressed people. But in SF, the relationship between the powers that be and the queer community are different than probably anywhere else in the country, the world even!

http://www.indybay.org/news/2004/02/1670632.php


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## lilmiss'mama (Mar 8, 2002)

In response to the link Sadie_Sabot posted...SO, even whe you win, you lose







Why can't things be 100% good?! It seems like there is always an agenda. Thanks for the info.


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## RowansDad (Mar 27, 2002)

Hate to pile on a bit here but, I'm with my former congressman on this one:
*Rep. Frank Opposes Gay Marriage Effort*
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...rriage_frank_1


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## dado (Dec 31, 2002)

he has a point. getting it done "right" in one place is ultimately going to be a whole lot more powerful than doing it half-baked in a whole bunch of places.

but it still feels good to see people celebrating _commitment_ like that!


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## RowansDad (Mar 27, 2002)

Looks like "half-baked" may pertain the the SF matter:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/ar...riages?mode=PF

""California will not accept the marriage licenses granted to thousands of same-sex couples in San Francisco because the city created its own form to remove such terms as "bride" and "groom," a state official said Wednesday.

"There is a statewide form that every county has to use for marriage applications. If we receive application forms that are different from the single form used throughout the state, we will not accept them," said Nicole Kasabian Evans, a spokeswoman for the Health and Human Services Agency."


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

Well whatever the outcome, whatever crock of bull they come up with to make these marriages null, someone has to say no. Someone has to be the first to say, "this is crap and I am not going to take it anymore." And now there are thousands of couples who know that there are folks willing to go to bat for them. Who are much liess willing to go back in the closet and be quiet.

Someone, in whatever manner, has to be the first to say "It ends here." I am glad that it was done in such a celebratory manner, with so much love involved.


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## RowansDad (Mar 27, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by AdinaL_
*Someone, in whatever manner, has to be the first to say "It ends here." I am glad that it was done in such a celebratory manner, with so much love involved.*
Er, that's gonna happen here in the Commonwealth and with the Supreme Judicial Court's backing on May 17, 2004.


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

And that is fabulous!









I am thrilled that there is more than one way to stand up for something.


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by RowansDad_
*Er, that's gonna happen here in the Commonwealth and with the Supreme Judicial Court's backing on May 17, 2004.*
Goddess willing. OOOOMMMM....


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## RowansDad (Mar 27, 2002)

No, it will.

There is nothing legally that is going to stop same sex couples from getting a civil marriage certificate in May. An approved amendment from last week's Constitutional Convention wouldn't have stopped gay civil marriage, it was the first step on the road to amend the Massachusetts constitution. The Legislature needs to approve an amendment then it will have to be cleared by two successive Legislatures before appearing on the ballot in 2006.

Note that the ConCon **failed** to pass an approved amendment last week. The legislators return to again consider amending the constitution on March 11. The SF brohaha may negatively affect the vote this time.


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

It seems to me that civil disobedience is always frowned upon by moderates who in the name of, um, moderation, often refuse to act to change things. Think of Freedom Summer- nowadays we all (well, almost all) look back upon it as an obvious good, but at the time that was not the case.

I'm not moved by arguements that to do the right thing might alienate some people.

anyone ever hear Nina Simone's "Mississippi Goddamn!?"

http://www.boscarol.com/nina/html/wh...pigoddamn.html

"Yes you lied to me all these years
You told me to wash and clean my ears
And talk real fine just like a lady
And you'd stop calling me Sister Sadie

Oh but this whole country is full of lies
You're all gonna die and die like flies
I don't trust you any more
You keep on saying "Go slow!"
"Go slow!"

(














Nina Simone)

Frankly, gay marriage is a civil rights issue, and I'm not at all surprised that the powers that be respond more or less the same way to it-- by freaking out, fear mongering (it will destroy marriage!!!







:







: ) and obstruction by moderates.


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## RowansDad (Mar 27, 2002)

Yeah, Barney Frank = moderate...sure. Yeesh.


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

Well, he may or may not be a moderate, but the viewpoint he is putting forward in the article you linked to certainly is.

(and anyway, terms like "moderate" are so subjective!







)


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## RowansDad (Mar 27, 2002)

Completely disagree.

And what about the plaintiffs and their counsel in the Massachusetts case that was decided last November? Are they "subjectively" moderates too?


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## dado (Dec 31, 2002)

sadie, i think maybe you got the wrong impression from the article. he is in no way opposed to gay marriage - he's gay himself! - he's concerned the SF actions may derail the very serious, very permanent course of action well under way in MA.


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

Dado- Oh, I know B. Frank is gay. I also know he is a quite solid and dependable progressive. I guess I just don't understand how the current stuff in San Francisco could affect the Massachusetts stuff.

Quote:

_Originally posted by RowansDad_
*Completely disagree.

And what about the plaintiffs and their counsel in the Massachusetts case that was decided last November? Are they "subjectively" moderates too?*
I'm not sure I understand what you mean?


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

I guess I just don't understand how the current stuff in San Francisco could affect the Massachusetts stuff.
I took the article to suggest not that it would adversely affect MA, but the rest of the country. Instead of an orderly, law driven effort the first memorable "gay marraiges" would instead be considered civil disobediance by more mainstream people. And for many, civil disobediance seems to equal bad/scary/ruination of society.

I can see the arguement, but I am not going to be the one to stand and say, "Hey don't get married, wait til MA in May." I'm just not, there is too much joy, too much hope, too much belief in a real reform to overlook this as merely a road bump, IMO


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Honestly, sounds like a pissing contest because some in Mass may be mad that they aren't the center of the gay marriage issue for a few moments







:


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## sadie_sabot (Dec 17, 2002)

:LOL


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Arduinna---

I have to agree because in all honesty, I just don't see anyone saying, "Hmmm I was really thinking about being supportive towards gay marraige but now that those people in SF went and actually got married, nope, I'm going back to being a biggot." Yeah, obvious proof that gay marraige leads to law breaking (hello circular argument!)


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## dado (Dec 31, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Arduinna_
*Honestly, sounds like a pissing contest because some in Mass may be mad that they aren't the center of the gay marriage issue for a few moments







:*
even conceding that...think about what you said for a second...different parts of the country competing to institute gay marriage...










it's aaaaall good!


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

You guys are too funny,

and Dado excellent point!!!


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## momadance (Mar 13, 2003)

Let me first say that it's awesome!!!

but, I'm reminded of that nutcase in Alabama with the unconstitutional 10 comandments...

wouldn't it better advance democracy and the will of the people to change the states constitution? and because i'm not to bright about these matters, is it something that was voted into the constitution?

just confused as to what's up!


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

but we need a case to take to the supreme court to challenge that states defense of marriage act. And this might just offer the opportunity.


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## momadance (Mar 13, 2003)

a ha...
thanks


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## inorbit (Feb 11, 2004)

What is the situation with gay marriage in Canada?
I seem to recall hearing that same-sex marriage has been on the books for a couple of months now.
Cheers to all of those people who are finally able to make a public and legal commitment to the one they love.


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Has anyone seen "Iron Jawed Angels" on HBO this month? It's about Suffrage but it makes the point that sometimes the moderates in a movement, no matter how much they decry their extremist counterparts, often owe their final push over the finish line to them. Suffrage took over 60 years. Anyone want to wait that long on this one?


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I haven't watched it yet, but I completely agree. I for one am NOT willing to wait around for the moderates to get around to doing anything.


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## SpiralWoman (Jul 2, 2002)

Watching the lines in SF & the people *getting married* has reminded me of the fall of the Berlin Wall. It just happened. People just getting together & doing it. I am very happy for what will happen in Mass. too.









if you want to do something to support, check this out:
www.millionformarriage.org to sign a petition.


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## QueeTheBean (Aug 6, 2002)

And if you just want to look at something silly:

http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/fiore/

A great little animated piece on "the gay agenda". Funny


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## Amazlilith (Nov 10, 2002)

Just to add a little personal perspective to this...My partner and I were married on Monday morning after sitting in the rain all night. I wrote out the whole story but here is how I ended it....

I know that there are already fights against it and it may be overturned and voided, but they will never take this day away from us. This is a day that we were part of the struggle, a part of history. And they cannot ever take the feeling of community, love and commitment that every single one of us experienced. And finally, they can't take the feeling I had while I looked into Laura's eyes when he said, "I now pronounce you Partners for Life"


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## Journey (Jun 12, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Amazlilith_
*Just to add a little personal perspective to this...My partner and I were married on Monday morning after sitting in the rain all night. I wrote out the whole story but here is how I ended it....

I know that there are already fights against it and it may be overturned and voided, but they will never take this day away from us. This is a day that we were part of the struggle, a part of history. And they cannot ever take the feeling of community, love and commitment that every single one of us experienced. And finally, they can't take the feeling I had while I looked into Laura's eyes when he said, "I now pronounce you Partners for Life"*
Wow. I got tears in my eyes and goosebumps from reading that.


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## Victorian (Jan 2, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Amazlilith_
*Just to add a little personal perspective to this...My partner and I were married on Monday morning after sitting in the rain all night. I wrote out the whole story but here is how I ended it....

I know that there are already fights against it and it may be overturned and voided, but they will never take this day away from us. This is a day that we were part of the struggle, a part of history. And they cannot ever take the feeling of community, love and commitment that every single one of us experienced. And finally, they can't take the feeling I had while I looked into Laura's eyes when he said, "I now pronounce you Partners for Life"*








That is sooo wonderful! Congradulations!


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Contrats, Sophie. I keep wondering if some of my old friends in the Bay Area were there too. You are part of history...I'm a tad jealous.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Thank you for sharing your story, that is so beautiful!!!


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

All blessings of the Goddess on you 2! How wonderful.

Even if you do not get legal protection any time soon, you are married.

Like in the movie Cold Mountain, sometimes we have to marry ourselves without institutional approval.

I marry you. I marry you. I marry you.

Powerful







for gay marriages soon!

(I have a bisexual dd.)


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## DaryLLL (Aug 12, 2002)

pix of happy "justly marrieds"

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...hreadid=117088


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## kama'aina mama (Nov 19, 2001)

Gotta stop opening this thread. I'm running out of tissue.

Congratulations and best wishes to you and your beloved Amazlilith!


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