# Miscarriage and divorce



## Curly31 (Nov 21, 2019)

Hello. I am new to this site and this is my first post. I have been reading others post and they have offered some great advice. My wife and I are going through a miscarriage. She miscarried at about 2 months. I took her to the ER when it first happened and that was when we found out she was having the miscarriage. We had a vacation planned for a couple weeks later prior to is finding out about the miscarriage. She didnt want to go anymore. We had plans to get out of town and with my parents that were flying in from out of town also. My wife in her eyes says that she begged me to stay home that she didnt want to go. I didn't see it as her begging me and told her lets still go. I wanted to take her away and get away from the city. We went to a mountain community and I know she loves being outdoors, with nature and away from every day life of the city. So we ended up going anyways. While we were there she ended up passing what we believe to be the sac. I offered to take her to the ER again she said no since she had a doctor's appt a couple days later. We went back to the room didnt say much to eachother and went to bed. The next day I tried to tell her and comfort her as I knew how. I tried to tell her this was not her fault that she didnt do anything wrong. We walked around the town we were in had breakfast dinners and what I thought was we enjoyed our time there as best as we could. We drove back from the town during our vacation to go to the doctor appt. I asked her if she wanted to stay home together and once check out time comes I can go back to pick up my parents. She said no. So we go back finish our vacation. A couple days after being back she starts blaming me. Saying I wasn't there for her. Saying that i should have known what to do. She said it was common sense as to what she needed. She never said a word to me what she needed from me or wanted me to do. I tried to be as supportive, loving and caring as I could. Now she wants a divorce. We are separated and she says she can never look at me the same again. Me also being a female know more about how emotional we can be during hard times and sometimes don't say what we need. I just don't know what to do. I have sent her articles from this site and other sites to try to help her. I started going to counseling and asked her to come with me or go on our own. She doesn't want to. She says she doesn't want to be happy and that she doesn't deserve to be loved. She says she doesn't want to be married anymore because she can't get over how I treated her. I apologize for the long post but I am lost here. I don't know what to do and feel like maybe there isn't anything I can do to help her or our relationship.


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## easydoesit (May 23, 2005)

She may feel you put your parents before her. Were you afraid to lose the money already spent on the vacation planned? I am really trying not to take sides here even though it sounds like I am. 

Just trying to offer where she may be coming from that is beyond the what was said or not said during the sad time.


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## Curly31 (Nov 21, 2019)

No I didn't care about the money at all. My parents could have just stayed themselves and we could have stayed home. I asked her if she wanted to stay home when we went back to our house after the doctor's appointment. She told me no she wanted to go back on the vacation. We were there for 4 days and I asked her on the second day if she wanted us to stay home. She said no.


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## Curly31 (Nov 21, 2019)

She told me is was common sense as to what she needed but she never told me. I tried to comfort her and be there for her. I tried to do my best. She sees it as I wasn't there for her and I should have known what to do.


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## Osveren (Dec 11, 2020)

I am really sorry for what you've been going on. I think this is one of the most painful situations in a couple's life. I get either your wife or you because it's a loss to both. But besides this, in this tragedy, women suffer a lot more, because it's her body and it's the little soul living growing in her so it's normal to have side effects. It's sad but true that this kind of situations, mostly lead couples to divorce. My advice is even if you are separated you need to support her and you need at the same time to move on with your life. I read a blog that maybe it can help you with moving on or finding love even after divorce. I recommend it! Go on _breakupangels.com _


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## Vesarwyar (Jul 14, 2021)

Most likely, she wants a divorce because of a difficult emotional time. Try to keep her or change her mind by telling her that it's such a difficult situation right now, maybe you're in a hurry, and you don't need any divorce. If she agrees with you and goes to your meeting, just leave her for a while, or try to support her in some way all the time. Well, suppose she won't listen to you and constantly ignores you. In that case, you will have to file for divorce because a person in such a difficult situation should react. Differently, it's not your fault! Just before the divorce, don't forget to find a lawyer to help you. I hope all will be well and you will continue to live together! Good luck to you. 
*____*

https://waymanandlong.co.uk/


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