# 4 MO used to sleep - not anymore HELP



## dinah (Aug 12, 2004)

Anyone got any ideas for my situation?

My son is 5 months old and quit sleeping at night a month ago. We co-sleep. He usually goes down at 9 and wakes up at 6. Before he would wake once, nurse and go back to sleep. Now he wakes up every hour and nurses.
The first week we thought it was jetlag because we had gone to visit family in germany - but it didn't end. Then I went back to work (3 weeks ago) and we blamed it on that. But I'm only in the office 3 days a week and dad is a stay at home dad and has been very involved since day 1 so DS routine has barely changed as a result of my work. DS takes 3 4oz. bottles of EBM from dad on the days that I'm gone and nurses morning and evenings and doesn't really drink during the night - just comfort nursing - so it doesn't seem to be hunger. We've tried dad comforting him at night since he can nap during the day and I work full time but he only falls asleep nursing. I see no signs of teething. He's cheerful and not overly tired during the day.

I'm getting more and more exhausted and can barely handle working full time and waking every hour. Unfortunately I don't seem to be one of those people that can sleep through nursing. I know some parents have this problem from day one but I'm so frustrated because he used to sleep so well. At 3 months he even went all through the night a few times.
Help??


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## caycat (Feb 25, 2004)

My reply may not be too reassuring. I can only say very gently that "these things happen." DS#2 slept through the night for the first 4 months and then gradually increased to pretty constant nursing. Fortunately, I'm in Canada so we get a year of mat leave. I feel for you having to get to work so exhausted. I did it when nightweaning at 18 months--I was so tired that I thought I was going to drop.

I think that babies are starting to just get more and more aware at about 4 months and start to realize that when they wake up, they get milk.

I do know that some people do have their partners take over some of the nighttime hours. Walking and rocking the baby for every other waking. That way that they get the nursing they need as well as learning to go to sleep other ways. Unfortunately, at least at the beginning both you and dh will be exhausted.

Good luck.


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## Chelly2003 (Jan 5, 2003)

no help here - but you're not alone. My 19mth old still wakes at night - if we have a good night she only wakes once (at about 2 or 3am) but for the most part she wakes up 2 or 3 times.
Chelly


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

We're in the same boat -- except mine is 3 months old. Slept like a parent's dream come true until 4 nights ago...


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## momofelise (Apr 13, 2005)

My dd started waking up more around the same time yours did. It still might be related to your returning to work, so your ds might settle after a while back into his old sleep habits. Or, it could just be a stage... our routine didn't change at all, and my dd still started waking up a lot. I'm hoping it will get easier once we start her on solids. Hang in there!


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## dianna11 (Dec 3, 2004)

You know, I think it just happens sometimes, not because of anything that you are doing. DD did the same thing at about 6 months. She used to be a champion sleeper, right from the start, then suddenly she couldn't sleep for more than a 4 hour stretch! Of course, I heard everything about feeding solids to get them to sleep longer, but I found the opposite, she would sleep less when she got solids









Just keep reminding yourself that this is a short time in their lives. That's what I despeately cling to anyhow.


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

Well, dd now has an obvious cold, so perhaps her recent night waking is because of that? I am crossing my fingers that when she is better, her sleep patterns will return to what used to be normal for her.


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## Aeriane (Apr 4, 2005)

Hi! At 4-5 months babies are learning to put themselves back to sleep, it's a time where they begin detailed dreaming and that can be disturbing. It's also a growth spurt time and thus the need for additonal feeds. Sometimes they need to feed and sometimes they just need reassurance. Either way...yuck you're tired. Make sure not to make too much commotion and keep it dark or darkish and still conducive to sleep. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it. It is a very crucial time for them as they need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep and if they don't master that then it's a wakeful child for a long time to come.

*shrugs* I know it's easier said than done but it CAN be done! Warm hugs, Kitty


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## Aeriane (Apr 4, 2005)

p.s. I know it's not funny but being in my 8th month all I think of is sleeping and being woken up by a hungry babe and can't wait LOL goes to show mom's are an insane lot!!







nah just can't wait to meet him, Kitty


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## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aeriane*
Hi! At 4-5 months babies are learning to put themselves back to sleep, it's a time where they begin detailed dreaming and that can be disturbing. It's also a growth spurt time and thus the need for additonal feeds. Sometimes they need to feed and sometimes they just need reassurance. Either way...yuck you're tired. Make sure not to make too much commotion and keep it dark or darkish and still conducive to sleep. I'm sure he'll get the hang of it. It is a very crucial time for them as they need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep and if they don't master that then it's a wakeful child for a long time to come.

*shrugs* I know it's easier said than done but it CAN be done! Warm hugs, Kitty

I'm curious about what you're saying. I don't believe babies have to "learn" to soothe themselves to sleep, but if you believe that, then do you also believe that they shouldn't be parented back to sleep? I mean, do you think you aren't supposed to nurse them back down? You don't seem to be saying that, since you mention extra nursing, so how are you saying they should learn to soothe themselves? I'm honestly just curious - not trying to "argue" or anything.









To the OP, I think it's totally normal. Maybe your babe will outgrow it soon.... but maybe not.







The newborn stage advice applies - sleep when you can or when the baby sleeps. I'm sure it must be very hard trying to balance everything right now, but you'll make it!


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## dinah (Aug 12, 2004)

Thanks everyone for your support. I guess there's no quick answer for this one. Last night was OK - he woke 3 times. The night before was awful - every 45 minutes to an hour. I just wish I could figure out some pattern to what makes it a good night and what makes it a bad one.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

I have no words of wisdom, but I'm right there with you. Ds was sleeping so very, very wonderfully, so much that i was worried my milk supply was going to drop too low.
For the past two weeks he is up every 2-3 hours. I don't know if he's teething, a growth spurt, hungry








I've pretty much decided there is no rhyme or reason to it, and am hoping it gets better. He sure is happy during the day though.


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## Mary (Nov 19, 2001)

It must be something about that age, because my experience is similar to so many others...right around 4 months my first son went from sleeping great- even putting himself to sleep without help from me, to waking frequently. Some nights were better than others, but he was 2 years old before he quit nursing at night (on his own). I did eventually adjust and most of those first two years were not in a sleep-deprived state. My second son was another story- I was lucky if he slept at all at night.

I understand how tiring it is. It is probably harder to adjust to since you have slept well for the past few months. Hopefully everyone will adjust and she will give you a break as well. Maybe your husband could take the first half of the night and you the second?

Good luck.


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## zannster (Aug 12, 2004)

I first noticed this thread a couple of days ago and thought "boy I'm glad my son isn't doing that". Well, now he's doing it. (Guess I jinxed myself, LOL). It felt like he nursed all night last night. He'd just get settled and look like he was going to stay still, and then he'd start sucking again. I'm hoping that this is just a growth spurt.

Oh, and getting Daddy to do anything? Hahahaha, yeah right. It would take way too much effort just to get him to wake up. He sleeps through anything. And no way would he commit any more of his sleep time than he absolutely had to.







:


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## hananana (Nov 19, 2004)

This article rang true for my 4 mo. old.
Perhaps it will help you.... ?

Wakeful Four Month Old


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## lauraess (Mar 8, 2002)

Hi im just chiming in here to say i had a tough time with my first with the sleeping. With the second it was much better and i think i learned mostly that #1 -this will pass, #2 - staying calm and in 'night mode' was best, #- using the pacifier when possible so mom isnt always the direct link to sleep.
As per what I BELIEVE Aeriene was saying: The soothing they need to do can and hopefuly will be guided, supported by you or dad, through patting, humming, making the atmoshere, offering binky, the overall attitude of "it's okay, let's go to sleep" *which i truly believe can be conveyed to young children with soft words and tone. You arent doing it for them and you wouldnt be letting them alone to figure it out on their own either. This is where some may choose to difer in their opinion and want to keep offering the breast and yet I beleive that's what leads to the constant nursing-thru the night pattern.
Hang in there








L


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

I'm sorry you are exhausted!

Quote:

I guess there's no quick answer for this one.
I think these are wise words! Sometimes you can figure out why, but many times that only makes things worse if you question/judge yourself for what is normal baby behavior.

I do not believe that nursing at night is a bad habit, or something that is an indulgence, or something that is a weakness in the mother that will cause more problems down the road.

I believe that it is normal at 4 months and much later for babies to need to nurse at night. If they don't feed more at night during growth spurts, it can impact your supply. While some moms may feel they need the baby to soothe themselves to sleep, I think expecting that as early as four months is setting yourself up for misery.

It is VERY VERY VERY common for babies to have phases when they sleep more at night, then times that they wake more at night, sleep more, wake more, etc.

I'm going to put a couple quotes here

Quote:

The idea, often heard these days, that babies can and should learn to "self soothe," without any physical or emotional interaction with parents, is incorrect. The best and most effective way for a child to learn to lull himself quietly back to sleep after experiencing a night waking is for parents to have demonstrated their dependability and availability when the child was a baby..... Only good can come from cuddling your baby whenever he needs it. In the best of worlds, a baby would automatically receive all the cuddling he needs without ever having to ask for it.
pediatrician Dr. Paul Fleiss
http://www.nospank.net/fleiss.htm

Quote:

Health visitors and general practitioners are often asked for help because of what parents perceive as a baby's sleeping problem. Many parents expect that the baby will be sleeping continuously through the night from a given age.... Only 16% slept through the night at six months old. Half woke occasionally, 9% woke most nights, 5% woke once every night and a further 17% woke more than once per night, ranging from twice to eight times. For 16% of six-month-olds there was no regular sleeping pattern. ... Knowing that their baby's behaviour pattern is "normal" and shared by many other babies of the same age is often reassuring to parents.
from a study about sleep patterns in babies at 6 months
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/q...&dopt=Abstract


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## earthcore (Feb 24, 2003)

I'm sorry you are so tired. My DDslept thru the night practically from brith, worrying me to death that she wasn't getting enough to eat. Then at 4mos, she stopped and now wakes 6-8 times a night. I'm a SAHM, so I am able to take naps during the day. The thing is, I think my body had adjusted and I DON'T take naps anymore, unless it was an exceptionally horrible, horrible night. And i really don't feel tired very often. I DO try to drink plenty of water and eat plenty of greens. It really does make a big difference for me.

It is really frustrating to have your baby go from sleeping for long periods to frequent nightwaking. I hope your little one sleeps better soon. In the meantime, take care and be gentle with yourself.


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