# Thank you.



## halfadozen (Feb 4, 2008)

I am 38 weeks, healthy pregnancy, healthy baby all the way along... today at my midwife... no heartbeat, had an ultrasound, the heart is still. Last night baby was moving, everything was normal.

I need advice. I want to wait for labour to begin naturally. My mind is reeling. Anyone been through this naturally? With no induction? What about drugs for pain? Did you still birth at home? (we were planning to birth at home). Help!

UPDATE... thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. We have decided to induce tomorrow at the hospital. I just want to see our little girl as she is and before she deteriorates at all. I feel okay with medication too, since I know this birth isn't going to end happy with all pain as just a memory.

UPDATE #2... your advice was all so good. We birthed our baby girl 3 days ago (didn't need an induction, the prostaglandins my midwife used to ripen my cervix were enough, so no pitocin was needed) and she was beautiful, but we still don't know why she died. We spent 8 hours holding her after her birth and everything has been so peaceful and everyone so good and respectful. Thank you.


----------



## ~Mamaterra~ (Jul 5, 2006)

*


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm so sorry, mama. I wish I had some answers for you. My son died during labour, and was taken by emergency section...so not helpful.

I hope someone can post something useful.


----------



## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

I've never been through this personally but I just couldn't read it without responding. My heart goes out to you and your family.


----------



## rivermom (May 22, 2006)

Although I have never been thru this, I had to respond. I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your family. My heart goes out to you. I know there are no words that I say that will comfort you, but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
This is just my personal feelings, but if you want to have the baby at home, then you should be allowed to. But whatever you choose, God be with you.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


----------



## hix (Mar 16, 2006)




----------



## ctdoula (Dec 26, 2002)

I couldn't read and not say how very sorry I am for your loss!


----------



## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

My thoughts are with you. . .I'm so sorry this happened!


----------



## Samaria86 (Jan 17, 2008)

I'm so sorry. I had a natural delivery no inductions but I went into the hospital pushing. That bad thing about my situation is I had no idea before hand my child had died. I didn't know until she came out. She was supposedly already passed away 2 days prior. So labor began on it's on. I am still coming to grips with the fact if she did pass away two days earlier, why didn't I detect that? I dn't understand how these normal, healthy, babies we carry to fullterm at some point just go away. I'll never understand. I am so sorry for your loss *hugs*


----------



## Julie K (Sep 3, 2007)

oh I'm so sorry







I had a stillbirth, but I chose to be induced. I was only 26 weeks and there was no telling how long it would take me to go into labor and I couldn't bear to wait.

Hugs to you - it is something no mother should ever have to endure


----------



## mel_rak (Feb 20, 2008)

I am so sorry. I have not been through this.. but I am very very sorry for you and your loss.. our prayers are with you.


----------



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Oh, no. I am so incredibly sorry, mama.


----------



## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

Please accept my condolences for your incredible loss. Your and your babe will be in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

I am so terribly sorry this happened, mama.








My heart aches for you... ... please know you are not alone!

I had contractions but they were not strong enough so I was induced at the hospital. Can you talk to your midwife about options? Can she give you some herbs to bring on the labor? I know others have done this at home, it is possible. I just do not have the experience to share.
Remember to take pictures of your beautiful baby, and when you're ready, come and tell us his/her name, so we can all repeat your baby's name.

My heart is with you.


----------



## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

Oh mama...Healing thoughts sent to you in this time in your life. I am sorry I have no advice and I can not even imagin what you must be going through.

I agree with Dreamweaver about taking pictures,and when ready sharing your story and his or her name.

Loving thoughts are with you .


----------



## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

Oh mama, I am so so deeply sorry for your loss.







I don't have any words of advice just a


----------



## Mama_Michelle (Mar 15, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.


----------



## KYCat (May 19, 2004)

I am so so sorry for your loss. I loss my Finn at almost 38 weeks. We were already going to have a hospital birth and we did have an induction. He was my 3rd son so my body kicked right in. I did have a strong epi -- I guess the opposite of a home birth. IF it is still important for you to deliver at home then I think that you should do that. It is such a traumatic time that you need to do whatever you feel that you need to do. Please be gentle with yourself and take as much time as you need to cuddle with and bathe your beautiful baby. Pictures and molds of feet or hands are also ideas of simple things that will be important to you in the future. I am heartbroken for you.







:


----------



## EricaE (Aug 1, 2003)

I'm so very sorry


----------



## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

:

I'm so sorry.


----------



## Ninibini (Oct 24, 2007)

I could not dare read this without you knowing one more person is thinking of you and your family.


----------



## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

Add me to the list of people crying for you today








Sorry just doesn't cover it. I'll never stop wondering why this happens.


----------



## Samaria86 (Jan 17, 2008)

I read the update, I shouild have mentioned that, My daughter had kind of had lost some skin from that good decision.


----------



## ladybug732 (Apr 29, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss.







I know it hurts, and it reminds me of my own loss in April. I learned that Audrey had passed the evening of April 19th and I was induced at 8:00am on the 21st and she was born at 4:09pm the same day. I had been planning a natural childbirth at a free-standing birth center, but when I made the decision to induce, obviously I had to go to the hospital since my midwife doesn't do that at the center. I also chose to induce for the same reason you are - I wanted to be able to see the baby before she changed too much. I did also choose to get an epidural, mainly because my main motivation in wanting natural childbirth was for the health of the baby and that was no longer an issue. My midwife graciously volunteered to act as a doula, and it was wonderful to have her support.

I echo what everyone has said about taking lots of pictures. I HIGHLY recommend the wonderful organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (www.nilmdts.org). They send a professional photographer out to take pictures, which they then retouch and give to you, all for free. I will cherish my pictures, and they have been so healing for me, particularly because of the retouching. I feel like my pictures let me see Audrey's spirit and how she would/should have looked.

Feel free to bring clothes to dress your baby in or other special little items you want her to be photographed with. (We brought a onesie, receving blanket and little cross.) I would recommend asking for extra copies of the hand and footprints - I wish we had a few more copies. You could even bring special paper if you wanted. And I wish we had taken casts of her hand/foot prints as well. Basically, try to think of all the ways you can preserve your sweet one's memory. Those will be so important to you later.

Hugs and prayers to you, mama. I will pray that you have supportive and caring people surrounding you before/during/after birth, and that your time with your baby will be a special and sacred time for you. I felt great peace holding my Audrey, which I believe was a gift from God. Kiss and hug and hold your sweet girl for as long as you want. She is and always will be your baby.

Please PM me if you have any more questions.

Grace and Peace to you,
Kathleen


----------



## ~Yola (Sep 2, 2006)

I have no words that can convey how sorry I am for your loss.

I wanted to make a suggestion to you, that you or your Midwife may want to contact Now I lay me Down to Sleep to see if they have a photographer in your area who could come and take professional pictures for you.

Have strength Mama, and be blessed.


----------



## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

My dd died while I was sleeping (at 40 weeks 4 days) and I chose to induce the very next day. There was no warning, her movements were great, her heart just stopped. Her heart had probably stopped beating about 24 hours before she was born. I found the deterioration to be minimal. She had a bit of skin sloughing on her thighs but that was it. I too wanted to see her as if she would have been living and I have never regretted that decision. She was perfect in my eyes.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.







It is an experience I would not wish on anyone. I'm just so, so sorry.







If you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me. I'm very good at listening. I found afterwards that there were a lot of things I didn't feel comfortable talking about with other people. I really, really _needed_ someone who had experienced the same feelings.


----------



## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I was 38.5 weeks with Michael when I found out that he had passed. He died about 36 hours before he was born. I was going to be induced, but I chose to have a c because I didn't want to wait any longer than i had to and emotionally I felt I could not go through that. I believe you need to do what you feel is best. It is very difficult, but you will know what you need to do. The only thing that I regret is not taking more pictures of my sweet little man. I only have about 4. I also wish that I had seen his eyes. Again, I am so sorry... BIG hugs to you and I will be thinking of you and your sweet baby.


----------



## CityChic (Jan 18, 2007)

: Sending lots of prayers your way. Love and peace to you.


----------



## uptowngirl (Jun 9, 2008)

Prayers and good vibes heading your way. I am so sorry. Sometimes life just sucks and there's no good explanation. May you have happy days ahead and lots of peace.


----------



## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss. I found out my 2nd dd died at about 37 weeks. It was while I was in the hospital getting a version. Since my dh and I were there and my dd1 was taken care of, we decided to be induced.

I echo all of the suggestions with pictures, hair locks (the grandparents may want one too), hand/foot prints. Make sure you have a picture of the baby's face. That sounds like common sense, but the nurse who took my dd's pictures only took her profile. I was in such shock, it didn't occur to me then that I didn't have that picture. Take a look at every body part. Let family come see the baby and hold the baby. Take more pictures. Feel the emotions, every one of them is normal. I personally regret not having an autopsy. We only have a guess as to what happened to her. Do what you feel you can do.

When you have come home and feel up to it, please come back here and let us know all about your baby. We would love to learn all about him/her. I will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow.


----------



## MommyinMN (Oct 18, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


----------



## BabyBump (Jul 10, 2007)

So sorry for your loss. Treasure the memories of your baby you have. Sending healing vibes your way.


----------



## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet babe.








You are in my thoughts, Mama.

My son died during spontaneous labor at 38.5 weeks.
We felt him move at home at 2:00 A.M. and
when they triaged me in the hospital at 3:00 A.M.
his heart had stopped beating.
He was born about 7 hours later . . . so about 8 hours after
he had died. I was almost fully dilated when I got to the
hospital but chose to have an epidural and not push for a
while. I just wanted to be alone with my DH and J.T. while
he was still inside me. The birth was, ironically, physically easy
and pain-free.
He was beautiful when he was born . . . as are all our babies.
No deterioration yet, just quite blue.

I wish I had known about NILMDTS, although we took quite
a few photos ourselves.
Make sure you spend as much time with your baby as you want.
I stayed in the hospital for 36 hours and had him with me all the
time.
Also, I refused to let them take him down to the morgue to be
picked up by the funeral home there. I held him until the man
came and placed him myself in the little carrying case they use
for babies. So wrong.

Please feel free to pm me anytime; I'm happy to talk.
Take gentle care, Mama.


----------



## ap mom (Dec 23, 2006)

Words fail me but please know you're in my prayers.


----------



## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

Micah was born unassisted at home @ 40 weeks. I sure hope your induction went well. it should. I guess that it's normal for still born babies to have quick labors. Mine sure was. 6 hours only.

I wish you much love and empathy. It is a terrible time. I wish I could be there in person for you.


----------



## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Again, I am sorry







Please keep some memorabilia from your babe. I kick myself daily because I didn't do hand/foot prints or cut any hair (although it was just fuzz, but still. . .). We did take loads of pics even some with DD and DS sitting near her (they didn't want to hold her or touch her). Take tons of time holding your babe, don't let anyone rush you or make you feel uncomfortable holding your babe. . .take all the time you want/need and then some!!


----------



## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

momma...we are all thinking of you and your sweet baby.


----------



## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

DD1 was stillborn at home at 24 weeks: we knew she'd gone before labour started. It isn't a decision I've regretted.
I'll keep your family in my prayers today.


----------



## BinahYeteirah (Oct 15, 2002)




----------



## kelly1827 (Mar 17, 2004)

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Mama! Good friends of mine lost one of their twin girls the same day and they are struggling too....


----------



## clothmumma (Jun 25, 2008)

I just cannot express in words how sad I am for hearing of your loss.


----------



## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## baileyandmikey (Jan 4, 2005)

((((HUGS))))) I am so sorry.


----------



## Kayda's Mom (Feb 5, 2007)

halfadozen,

I am very very sorry for your loss.
My heart and prayers go out to you.
I wish I could hug you.


----------



## 2 in August (Jan 6, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


----------



## riversong (Aug 11, 2005)

My heart is breaking for you, mama. I'm so sorry for your loss.


----------



## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. My baby boy died in labor in April. I woke up from an emergency C/S and found out that he was dead. It's not clear why he died, most likely that his cord was compressed during contractions. I'm so glad that you held and spent time with your baby. I wish you peace and healing through this difficult time. I wish that I could take away your pain.


----------



## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Mama I read this and had to respond. I am very very very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss


----------



## JenMidwife (Oct 4, 2005)

My heart is broken for you... I wish things were different







:

I'm so glad you got to hold & spend time w/ your beautiful daughter


----------



## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I am so sorry. Wish I could come cry with you. we could both use it.

hugs.


----------



## 4lilfarmers (Feb 9, 2006)




----------



## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

I'm so sorry!


----------



## PNWmama (Sep 2, 2006)

I am so very sorry for your loss







. You and your family are in my thoughts.


----------

