# episiotomy and weaker orgasms



## annieboobags (Apr 13, 2005)

hello everyone,
has anyone who has had the unfortunate experience of an episiotmy noticed that their orgasms are weaker? i just don't "peak" anymore- and it's really disappointing, kinda like when you feel like you have to sneeze and it doesn't come! any advice? the damn doctor cut me despite my wishes...
~annie


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## ldsapmom (Apr 8, 2002)

I had two episiotomies -- one turned into a 3rd degree tear, and the other I requested when it looked like I was going to tear again along my old scar with my second baby. But I have to say sex has gotten infinitely better since having my babies. I learned a lot, psychologically, about myself and that seemed to open the door to better sex.

This will sound generic, but have you been doing kegels? I know that helped me a lot too.

Wishing you well,

Stacie


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## orangebird (Jun 30, 2002)

I had a big episiotomy with my first but it didn't interfere with orgasms for me. I only have orgasms from clitoral stim anyway.

Kegels, however generic, are the best.


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## wasabi (Oct 12, 2004)

I've had three epis but I never had orgasms prior to having children so I can't compare. I do have no problem reaching orgasm though.


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## annieboobags (Apr 13, 2005)

hey all,
i appreciate the advice. i had a sneaking suspicion the word kegel would be part of the answer. guess i will just have to force myself to do em. not sure why but they have always drove me nuts. but i think in this situation it's worth it!


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## Thmom (May 4, 2004)

Anne Frye has done some interesting research in this... she explains that the clitoral nerves actually circle around the along the labia minor and she calls epsiotimy, clitoramy (sp) because these clitorous related nerves are damaged/severed. She has a good book I think it's called the healing passage or something like that. I'm not neccessarily sure there is anything you can do to improve the situation, particularly if it is nerve damage. There are creams the stimulate the blood flow to the clitorus that may help increase sensitivity.
I would also explore finding your g-spot and try to focus on vaginal orgasms


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

No difference here. I never had any discomfort during sex, either, even though I'd heard all kinds of horror stories about sex after an episiotomy. I find that I have the problem you're talking about (not being able to peak - it is JUST like not being able to sneeze!) when I'm under a lot of stress.

(I had a small episiotomy because my MW said she could tell I was going to tear VERY badly otherwise - how I wish I'd done perenial massage starting a few weeks before labor!)


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I had one with my first birth and no it didn't make any difference. Second birth I didn't have any and only tore a tiny bit (almost doesn't count). Now that birth left me not quite the same down there and I've had to work hard and do kegals to get back in shape. The kegals have helped so much with my level of pleasure coming back to what it was before.

ETA: the first 6 mos. after birth#1 was painful, both because of dryness from lactating, and from the scar healing. I did perineal massage to help soften the scar and then I was back to normal with pleasure again.


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## Court (Oct 31, 2002)

How long has it been since the birth? I never had episiotomies but there was always a period of several months before things felt really back to normal. During an orgasm, all the vaginal muscles (etc) contract (no matter what you stimulate) - so if the muscles are weak and kinda stretched out- then the orgasm will be weak. I've been doing kegels since my son's birth 6 months ago and noticed a huge improvement. It makes sense; if you improve the muscle tone, then they will be able to contract stronger during orgasm. Personally, I don't think episitomy has anything to do with it, but that's just my opinion.

I know kegels are annoying, but you're right, they're worth it.


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

Like Court, I'm also wondering how long it has been since your babe was born.

I had an episiotomy that tore an extention for a total of a 3rd degree wound. It took over a year for sex to even approach comfortable, I know that was due to the episiotomy. My sex drive and response did change, early on I'm sure that was partially due to the fact that things hurt and I was fearful of the hurt, but I also think it had a lot to do with my hormonal state (especially due to BFing) and the other changes in my post-partum body. My mama alertness also is a factor - if there is any chance that Griff will be waking up (like trying to have a "quickie" during his nap), I have trouble focusing and enjoying sex.

But I would say that now, at 2+ years post-partum and also post-weaning now, I actually have better sex than before I was pg. So hang in there, I hope it gets better for you, too!

Anyway, I think episiotomy can have a lot to do with discomfort, but I don't think it affected my orgasms.


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

I haven't had an episiotomy, but as far as orgasm goes, when I can't peak it's always due to some psychological barrier rather than anything physical going on with me. Like if I'm afraid it will hurt (I have endo, so that is a very real fear for me), or if I'm listening for the baby to wake up, or if something else is on my mind, or if I'm really stressed.


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## albcsd (Jun 29, 2005)

I had an epi with my first child. It was so bad they told me that I had a 5 on a 4 degree scale! It was horrible. As far as sex goes, it has been 2 years since the birth and I have stopped having periods, and I have absolutely no sensation as far as orgasms go (besides clitoral). It is so frustrating because I have the drive for sex, its just like I cant release! My fiance and I have since split up, mainly due to sex issues. Has anyone had vaginal tightening surgery done??


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