# Sex after birth- how soon is ok- 2 weeks?:-)



## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

Hi, I am 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. I have a question to ask all of you moms out there- you see I know we are "supposed" to wait 6 weeks to have intercourse again- but I have NEVER gone 6 weeks without since I was 15! I was thinking maybe this is just too long. It seems like 2 weeks should be sufficient as long as we are both fresh out of the shower washed with antibacterial soap and he uses a condom.

I know, I know most women say "oh you won't want sex after you have the baby" but trust me- I am quite the exception to every rule- I want sex more than my boyfriend- I just don't think I can go 6 weeks! 2 will be a major challenge!!!

Anyone had sex soon after devliery and been ok?

All of this is assuming I have no or minimal tears of course and am feeling remotely decent.

Thanks!


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## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

I don't know anyone, but I'm sure there are people.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Thats why some siblings are less than 10 months apart









I think as long as your pp bleeding is over you are fine. With Tracy we waited 5 weeks and with Bryce I think it was 2.5


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## Lisashepp (Feb 12, 2002)

I was told a week after I was not spotting or bleeding anymore. If you have sex while you are still bleeding then your cervix might not be closed and healed properly and you can cause more tearing & infection. It really really is important to wait.


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

I tell women anytime THEY have the desire (and not a pushy partner that is guilt-tripping them into it), to go for it. I've had clients resume intercourse as soon as three days.


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

IMO, you should do whatever feels right for you. You are your body's expert, as you will be your baby's expert, too. You might be surprised at the hormonal shifts that occur postpartum, but maybe not!

What's the deal with the soap?


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

i made love with my partner a day after my daughter was born.







(i probably should've waited... i was pretty sore after that! but... it was nice...)

i waited just barely 2 weeks after my son was born.


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## Greaseball (Feb 1, 2002)

Well, you've got me beat! I waited 2.5 weeks with #1 and 1 week with #2. I say go for it when you're ready. Stop if it hurts. With #1 I tried at 3 days but there was just no way.


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## Leilalu (May 29, 2004)

nak~~~~
Surprisingly, after both births I really wanted too as well.
We waited 2 weeks with dd, close to 3 or 4 with ds. Listen to your body- but I think you'll find, if you are able, it helps to reconnect you with your partner.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

thanks you guys! I think I will probably be a one or two week-er myself- I mean as long as it doesn't cause me excruciating pain and it feels right I'm going for it- no reason to cause myself mental agony holding off right!

oh and with the soap I meant- as long as we are both clean and he uses a condom- I don't see how there would be a high risk of infection- even if I am still bleeding lightly. I've always heard that you may still bleed well after your cervix has closed because of the spot (lochia?) in your uterus where the baby and placenta were attached. I know some women still bleed for like a month of more- I just don't think there is any possiblilty of me waiting a month. God bless my high sex drive


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

My midwife said we could have sex as soon as I felt up to it, which was 2 weeks pp. We did other things before that, and we probably could have had sex even earlier, but I was scared.


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## mnnice (Apr 15, 2003)

I first had intercourse at 5 weeks pp. It was way too soon. Other non intercourse sexual activities may be much more appealing. JMO


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Can someone enlighten me as to why infection of the uterus is considered such a risk postpartum, but not when menstruating? I've never understood that. I mean, I can see if there has been some physical trauma from the birth, waiting until that has healed. But otherwise?

Anyway, I've given birth four times and had sex starting at one week postpartum each time. I've never had an infection. A midwife I know says that a lot of her clients break the 6-week rule, and she's never seen an infection.


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## DallasCPM (Sep 5, 2002)

Quote:

Can someone enlighten me as to why infection of the uterus is considered such a risk postpartum, but not when menstruating? I've never understood that. I mean, I can see if there has been some physical trauma from the birth, waiting until that has healed. But otherwise?
During menses, the cervix is closed. In the postpartum period, the cervix takes time to close after birth (although it never returns to a pre-birth state). So, some advice is that you should wait for the cervix to close to have sex.....

My midwives say whenever I felt up for it to go for it.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

The thing about sex after a child is not about just being sore its about a shift in hormones. Your hormones change dramatically and most women don't desire sex as much as before.


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## Jemper (May 2, 2003)

I think the risk of infection is more from the open (but healing) wound on the uterus where the placenta was attached. I'll never forget the analogy my first m/w used to remind me to take it easy - she asked if I had an open wound on my hip the size of a dinner plate, would I be up and moving around much?









I think your body will let you know when you're ready. PP hormones, especially if you're BFing, might impact your libido. If they don't, there are plenty of ways to make love (and some don't necessarily involve intercourse).


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *livelybaby*
During menses, the cervix is closed.

But the cervix must be open at _some_ point in order for the shed uterine lining to come down and out.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jemper*
I think the risk of infection is more from the open (but healing) wound on the uterus where the placenta was attached.

So, I know that blood vessels run through both the endometirum and placenta to the uterus, and that normally these constrict with the separation of tissue in menstruation and third stage of birth, to prevent excessive blood loss. So what is different about these two situations that makes one significantly more at risk for infection? I have a vague idea, but I suspect it's not accurate. Does anybody know?


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

The loss of the lining of the uterus with menses is different - it's more of a sloughing off of a lining, rather than the pulling apart of a deeply attached organ.

It's like exfoliating your skin [menses] vs picking off a big, deep scab [postpartum].


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## Earthy Birthy (Sep 26, 2004)

Good analogy, pamamidwife!


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## DesireeH (Mar 22, 2003)

I'd say go with your gut!

I am normally a total horndog. In fact I drive dh nuts. LOL

Anyways, I thought I would want to do it right away but I didnt. We waited over 8 weeks! LOL I had an episiotomy and stitches and bled for over 7 weeks and was having a hard time nursing and no sleep and well I just didnt feel like it.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

yeah I definately won't have an episiotomy- I've heard it takes a LONG time to recover from one- I hope I don't tear as well- then I just know that unless my hormones shift so much that I become a totally different person my boyfriend and I will be back on our everyday schedule at 2 weeks postpartum. I know I may not have as much of a drive for sex as I do now but I will still want to wind the night down with a good orgasm as usual


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## Electra375 (Oct 2, 2002)

After a c/s I've had sex 2wks later, but after a vaginal birth -- no, we were 8wks and even that was too soon for me.
When I was pregnant, I was super needy.
If you do tear inside or out or end up with an episiotomy, you will need to wait until they are healed before diving in. I tore inside and my mw said 8 wks.
Hope that helps, but honestly I can't imagine sooner than 4 wks. You will be bleeding (lochia), this is a turn off to some.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

my man has no problem with blood- I don't know how we would survive going without sex during my periods! damn a whole week a month! I really hope I don't tear- I am so worried about it! I don't think I could go 8 whole weeks!!!


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

I was definitely at it three weeks postpartum each time. It was a bit sore in there but I loved feeling close to dh again.


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## LadyWulf (Aug 11, 2004)

After DD we waited all of 9 days. With DS it was 4 days. Neither of those times were we "fresh" from the shower and we don't use antibacterial soaps at all...just plain Ivory or Pure and Natural. Nor did DH wear a condom. I didn't have any kind of infection. I was a bit sore after DS was born and sex actually helped with it...i guess it kinda massaged the muscles inside and worked the soreness out. I felt much better afterwards.


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## scheelimama (Aug 2, 2003)

With #1 we had sex exactly 4 weeks after she was born. I had tore up and had 3 stitches and sex was very painful, but we needed it to reconnect. Sex continued to be painful for nearly 6 months. This time I only tore only a very tiny bit and didn't require any stitches. I don't feel sore at all and my bleeding is almost non-existent after only a week. I hightly doubt we will wait more than 2 weeks this time.


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