# "The locker room will be really tough on him"



## vegasgrl (Mar 19, 2009)

Three men have told me this. Thoughts?

I'm new at this, but I kind of think since it's becoming so much more common these days, when my LO is in the locker room in 2020 it won't really be a big deal anymore?









Anyone know the circ rate in the US today?


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

I heard that it is 52% circumcised as of 2006. I think I have the year correct.

This is such a false argument. So many men have posted about this here saying that a boy will catch a great deal of flack for commenting/teasing about another boy's penis...because that would mean that he was looking at another's penis and being accused of looking at another's penis would lead to accusations that you were interested in it...which is not something boys like to be accused of.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

Circ rates vary across the country but they all are declining. The current circ rate is so much lower than it was when any man who is telling you the "locker room theory" was in school. Many insurance companies and state Medicaids don't even cover it anymore. Plus, some parents are declining circ as they find out it's unnecessary, risky, painful, the benefits of foreskin, etc. So chances are extremely high that your son will not be the only intact guy in the locker room. And if you are on the west coast, a circed boy would be in the minority.

Plus, kids all have differences. Why would their genitals be different? Even if your son was the only intact kid in school, circing him just to match his peers would be silly.

Plus, and I certainly don't condone making fun of gay people at all and I hope this wouldn't happen at school, but I've been told by men (and read online) that no boys are looking at each others genitals in the locker room (or if they do they do NOT comment on it) because they would fear being called gay.

I really don't think those advising you with the "locker room" argument have done nearly as much research on circ as you have. I think it's a bogus reason to circ (but I also think that about any other non-medical reason for circ).
Good luck to you!


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Even when the cir rate was high, I think that was bogus. When I was a kid, circ rates were high. I know a few intact men and none were teased at all.


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## perspective (Nov 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vegasgrl* 
Three men have told me this. Thoughts?

I'm new at this, but I kind of think since it's becoming so much more common these days, when my LO is in the locker room in 2020 it won't really be a big deal anymore?









Anyone know the circ rate in the US today?

How old were these men? As a younger guy (who just finished the "forced locker room" stage of life) I can say what these guys are imagining is no longer the traditional locker room. Things are more private now, boys in general have been taught their should be a greater level of privacy to their body then to their peers in the 70's, 80's and even early 90's.

Also there is the "gay fear" that has been subplanted in the minds of teenage boys lately, no one would dare about how they were looking at another guys penis, I dont care if your whole penis has been cut off, no boy is going to be taunted more then the one who is being called gay. Besides, kids bully kids to feel better about themselves, and there are a lot of "safer" features to make fun of, (like the shorter boy, or the skinnier one, or the one that just acts anti social)

If that was not enough, increasingly intact boys are being more and more common. Enough so that even in many high school locker rooms of today (and the recent past) the foreskin is nothing to make fun of, because too many guys have one.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

It's pretty rare for people to go naked in front of each other in locker rooms nowadays anyway.

Where I live (AZ) only about 25% or boys are circed, so if anything it would be the circed guys facing that issue.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I always find this a strange arguement since here no one took a shower after gym. I would have been appaled had we done that.

Dh said that even though other guys will notice each other in passing they wouldnt be caught dead staring at another guys privates for fear of being caught.

I see it this way. I plan to teach my ds to be proud of his intact body and teach him that others are often jealous of what they dont have or upset by differences. It is their problem not ds's.

Teaching a child about his intact body will go a long way to giving him the confidence he needs to just shrug off something like this IF it happens.

I dont condone making fun of any one for any reason in this case a come back of well at least it is all there and not half chopped off like yours would be appropriate I think.

It might even get the other guy thinking about what was done to him and make him think twice about doing it to a child of his.


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## Fellow Traveler (Jan 8, 2008)

Just some of my thoughts, as an intact guy, though, I think most of what I'll say has mostly been covered.

At least in our school we never were made to shower or were naked changing for gym. I hear it's this way in most places now and has been for a long time.
It is probably different for some school sports though I didn't participate there were other activities that I was involved in outside school that required the use of 'gang' 'locker' type showers and I never had a problem with anyone personally.
I currently use a gym about 4 or 5 times a week and I've never gotten a comment there.
There are way more intact boys today plus tons of information and even if there aren't as many where you live, most will have knowledge of that and it won't be a surprise even there.
If this whole locker room thing ever was a problem those days are long over, though I have my doubts it was ever an actual problem.


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## perspective (Nov 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCatLvrMom2A&X* 
I see it this way. I plan to teach my ds to be proud of his intact body and teach him that others are often jealous of what they dont have or upset by differences.

I think its better to just focus on self confidence then to say the cut boys might be jealous. You don't want to make the kid too cocky.(pun totally intended)

But seriously I think one of the most important element of this movement is to make guys feel self confident in themselves, be that cut or intact. If a guy is proud to be intact or cut, thats great, as long as THEY are the ones that made that choice for themselves.


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## tutucrazy (Dec 30, 2008)

As I have said before. My husband grew up in central Tennessee during a time when the circ rate was MUCH higher. He was on swim team, wrestling team in HS and showered in front of all his peers. In college he was the naked guy at the parties. No one ever commented on his intact penis. He only knew one other intact boy and neither of them ever felt insecure or received any negative comments. It just isn't an issue. If someone does look your son should ask why they are staring at his penis.


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## hakunangovi (Feb 15, 2002)

Through twelve years of boarding school, with totaly open communal shower rooms, I do not recal one single instance of teasing based on circumcision status. Elementary school children are pretty innocent. I'm sure we all looked - but it made no difference - it was just accepted that some were different (the ratio was about 1/3 intact, 2/3 circ'd). The notion of homophobia did not appear on anyone's radar until part way through high school.

From my experience the locker room teasing thing is just a myth - or maybe just an unfounded tactic by pro-circs to enhance their agenda.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

DP is 30 and intact and he's never had a "locker room" experience that I hear so much about from everyone. Both my son's are intact and many of their peers are as well, I certainly don't think it will be a problem.l Men don't just stand around naked checking out each other's junk.


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

My dh calls myth too -- born in 1967, in MA, where most were circed but some remained intact, had lots and lots and LOTS of locker room experience from middle school through college on swim teams and as a personal trainer -- and the rules are 1) IF you look make darned sure you don't get caught looking and 2) never, never, never say a word. In fact, the best policy is maintaining eye contact with anyone you're talking to!


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## Mum2JocelynAngus (Jun 16, 2006)

I have b/g twins, so my daughter is only used to seeing little boys who are intact. In the showers at the Y the other day she say a circ'd boy & said (in her penetrating 3 y.o. voice), "Mummy, why does his penis look so funny? And why is it so little?" So it can go both ways in the locker room!


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## tennisdude23 (Apr 2, 2008)

This is a ridiculous myth. I am an intact guy, and I have been in plenty of locker rooms. Back in HS, I had absolutely no clue who was cut, who was not because first off, few people ever got naked, and secondly, when they did, nobody wanted to get caught looking. To put this myth into context, you would not consent for your baby daughter to have a breast augmentation procedure performed because somebody might tease her 14, 15 years down the line. No, it's probably better to instill in her a sense of self esteem and a good body image. The same holds true for a boy.


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
Even when the cir rate was high, I think that was bogus. When I was a kid, circ rates were high. I know a few intact men and none were teased at all.

OMG yes. I've posted a lot that my DH and BIL are both intact (and 26 and 24 years old) both played baseball, football, and ran track and cross country from 8th-12th grade. They probably spent more time in the locker room than anywhere else. Neither of them was ever teased about being intact. Ever.

And that whole "no one takes showers after gym" thing only works if your kids don't do sports. Heck, even for the years I wasn't in sports we still showered after particularly heavy workouts (I'm 24). My sister is in sports in high school NOW and everyone still showers after. No one wants to be the smelly kid. The truth is that it just.doesn't.matter.


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## tennisdude23 (Apr 2, 2008)

I just wanted to add that locker rooms have changed. Yes, people still shower after sports, but not that often, and many simply do it at home. I remember that in my HS all the new showers were private stalls. I think today there is a much greater concern for privacy than before. In any case, it does not really matter. Medical decisions should not be based on hypothetical ridicule from a immature 14 year old a decade and half from now.


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## njeb (Sep 10, 2002)

My youngest was still in high school when I started posting to this forum. After reading about intact boys who were supposedly teased in the locker room, I asked him if he'd ever been teased for being intact. His answer? "H*ll, no!"

He said that the person making the comment would be the one being teased because he'd looked at another male's equipment. That is a FAR bigger taboo than being intact! My sons grew up in a high-circ. area, too. It doesn't bother them a bit that they're not circumcised. In fact, the youngest has thanked me for leaving him as nature intended him.









So, I totally agree that this a bogus argument.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Since only circumcised men seem to give warnings about being teased in locker rooms because of being intact, does that mean that being circumcised causes some men to want to ogle and comment on other men's penises?


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## 4chunut1 (Apr 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Since only circumcised men seem to give warnings about being teased in locker rooms because of being intact, does that mean that being circumcised causes some men to want to ogle and comment on other men's penises?

GREAT hypothesis, Sapphire..!







THAT response to anyone making such an assumption about intact persons being teased should surely put them on the defensive. And how come we never hear of any intact boys teasing a circumcised boy because of his status..?? Logically it should go both ways if the first supposition were true...


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## Elizabeth2008 (Nov 26, 2008)

I've never been in a boy's locker room, but i asked both my brothers about this when I was trying to decide whether to have DS circumcised. They said guys don't talk about each other's penises in the locker room! It's virtually unheard of. They "sneak a peek" but leave it at that. They consider it to be off the table in terms of what can be discussed. They don't really want it to be known that they're checking out other guys' parts!


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

The circ/intact rate is close to 50/50 in the US. Nobody has taken off their underwear in a highschool locker in around 30 or 40 years.


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## Flor (Nov 19, 2003)

Oh, gosh who takes off their underwear in the locker room? The middle school where I work won't pay for hot water so there are no showers happening.


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## Papai (Apr 9, 2007)

This is truely the stupidest of the pro-circ myths.

Boys would rather be caught dead openly talking about checking out another guy's penis.

And as many pointed out, most schools don't have the kids shower after gym class anyway. When I was in school you didn't see anyone get naked.


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## mags (May 4, 2004)

I haven't read the other comments, but what a stupid argument. FTR, my DH is close to turning 40 (so before uncirc became more popular) and grew up attending Catholic school and playing lots of sports. Even more interesting he went to an all boys Catholic high school. He said NEVER was he ever teased for being uncirc'd. In fact, he said that if some guy would have started to tease him about it, then everyone else probably would have gotten on the other guy's case of looking at another guy's penis to begin with, lol. So, my DH is living proof that the whole locker room thing is more of a scare tactic/myth, than anything...


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## Igraine (Jul 1, 2006)

I believe my son has had the opposite experience.

He is in daycare one day a week and the boys run in and use the bathroom pretty independently. While he was peeing, one of his buddies noted that his penis was different than ds. Ds apparently explained that this is how boys are born. The poor little boy started telling ds that his own penis was broken.







It made me sad that the little boy felt that way about himself, but it was clear he had no experience seeing an uncircumcised penis until he Ds were both peeing.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

"I refuse to let potential future bullies dictate how I raise my child."


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

My DP is 22 and intact. He never had any issues with being made fun of for it. He has told me stories about people talking about foreskins and he would simply say "You got a problem with me?" They would always say "No." And then he would tell them that he still has his foreskin. It would shut them up.


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## walking burp cloth (Feb 19, 2008)

I would think that an uncircumcised boy would actually have a lot to brag about!


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## perspective (Nov 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tennisdude23* 
Medical decisions should not be based on hypothetical ridicule from a immature 14 year old a decade and half from now.

Highlighting this line because it really hits the center of this discussion.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *walking burp cloth* 
I would think that an uncircumcised boy would actually have a lot to brag about!









However, pointing this out to the circ'd father to be, put him on the defensive and less open to reason.


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## zoshamosha (Apr 15, 2006)

I live in L.A. and most of the little boys my kids' ages are intact.


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

I don't know what goes on in locker rooms but I do know that kids will always find something wrong with you in order to tease you. For me, it was my sticky out ears, my surname and also the fact that I flat chested.

Circumcision isn't going to stop a kid getting teased.


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tireesix* 
I don't know what goes on in locker rooms but I do know that kids will always find something wrong with you in order to tease you. For me, it was my sticky out ears, my surname and also *the fact that I flat chested.*

Circumcision isn't going to stop a kid getting teased.

Hey, how about we get some breast implants for these picked upon teens who are not large breasted?








All sarcasim intended.


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

LOL, thing is though, if I had got breast implants, I suspect I woulda got a lotta crap from other girls for having implants lol!

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

Indeed!

But to take this arguement to the other gender, Should we be giving hormone supplements to girls that don't start puberty as early as their peers because they are getting teased for not starting breast development? I mean, if we are going to argue for uniformity of body, let's help girls have the similar breast development and timing of puberty.

That sounds absurd doesn't it?


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tireesix* 
LOL, thing is though, if I had got breast implants, I suspect I woulda got a lotta crap from other girls for having implants lol!

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Well, I developed early, and they were huge. It really wasn't much better. Ofcourse, on top of the female teasers, I had very odd male attention.

Chop something off, get implants, whatever. It's not going to change teasing b/c ultimately teasing has _nothing_ to do with ones body and everything to do with seeming vulnerable.


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

Quote:

ultimately teasing has nothing to do with ones body and everything to do with seeming vulnerable.
exactly!!!


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## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

...and the world is getting so small.
Who knows where in the world one's son will choose to study/live in? Then being circ would mean he is different from everybody else


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## vegasgrl (Mar 19, 2009)

OKAY OKAY!!!! You guys are HILARIOUS!!!!







Ain't no scarier force than a mama with a cause!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure I can't argue against this ever again.







Especially after my realization that I'm so incredibly anti-declawing (I've been the crazy cat lady for years







) - so how could I EVER think this a good idea?

But bravo on the reasons, mamas!


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## AnalogWife (Sep 8, 2007)

My intact DH was born in 1966 and moved to the US when he was 4. I didn't know much about the circ debate when I learned that we were having a boy, who is now 2. My research showed that the locker room thing was a myth, and I told my DH about how I knew about the "myth of the locker room" and he was a little "huh?" I explained about how it's a myth that intact boys get harassed and ridiculed in the locker room...but he said that for him, it wasn't a myth. That he _had_ been ridiculed, which I found surprising.







But even so, and even not keeping up-to-date with the issue or how the current trends are going, when I asked him what we were going to do (I was mainstream-pregnant...I left it up to the DH) he still wanted our DS intact. So even if he WAS made fun of, he still wanted to keep his son natural and pure...and I







him for that!


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## KGB (Jan 30, 2010)

I'll repost what I said in another thread, although it pretty much echos everything else the guys here have been saying.

I'm an intact man. I've never been teased about my penis. Most kids are shy about being naked in general anyway, and in school, I never got completely undressed if I could help it. The hard truth is guys don't stand around locker rooms comparing penises. It just doesn't happen. Most guys try very hard NOT to look at other guys' penises for obvious reasons. Even if a circ'd guy accidently sees an uncirc'd guy, he doesn't start saying, "Haha! You're intact! Nah nah nah!" Even if he did, you could counter with, "Why were you staring at my penis? Are you trying to tell me something?"

It's a non-issue.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Just to add to everybody else. My brother, who turns 47 this month, is intact. I don't know that he was the only one in school, but it's not unlikely, as circ rates were _high_ in 1963. I don't think he was ever teased or bullied about it. No - he wouldn't have mentioned it to me, but I picked up on a _lot_, by being a bookworm, who was able to still pay attention to what was going on around me (wonder when I lost that??). He didn't want his boys circ'd, so I don't think it was a big issue, yk?

He did get teased and bullied for being small, skinny and a smart-ass...but not for having a foreskin.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

I see that I've already responded to this thread!!


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sharlla* 
DP is 30 and intact and he's never had a "locker room" experience that I hear so much about from everyone. Both my son's are intact and many of their peers are as well, I certainly don't think it will be a problem.l Men don't just stand around naked checking out each other's junk.

My dh is 28 and intact. He has never had an issue in the locker room either.


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