# Putting baby to sleep earlier than parents while cosleeping?



## 4cats (Oct 26, 2005)

Hi,

This is my first post to this message board, but I've been lurking for some time.

My DH and I are co-sleeping with our 12 week old DS. Since his sleeping/waking was so irregular for so long, we had been carrying him in a sling in the evenings (he would doze on and off) until our bedtime around 10 PM. He has lately started to become more consistent in his sleep patterns: he falls soundly asleep in the sling around 8 PM, and taking him out of the sling to change his diaper and to swaddle him wakes him up and makes him very angry! I then nurse him and he falls asleep again pretty quickly.

I'm wondering what co-sleeping families do in this situation? Assuming DS will actually sleep *alone* for a few hours, we could place him in his crib in his own room and then retrieve him when he wakes for the first night feeding (if any, see below). Or, we could try to put him down in our bed--we sleep on a firm king-size mattress which sits directly on the floor. Would this be safe?

I have another question which may belong in another post, but I'll ask it here in case anybody's still reading







... Does anyone's DC co-sleep but NOT wake to nurse during the night? My DS's sleep stretches have become longer and longer, so now he sleeps next to me from 10 PM to somewhere between 4:45 AM and 5:45 AM (I get up then to go to work) without waking to nurse. Of course, this may change if we start putting him down earlier (see above).

Thank you for reading this post!

Best, Kristin


----------



## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

I have done both of the things you mentioned. With my first child, we would lay him in his crib once his sleep schedule became more predictable, and then bring him in with us when he woke to be fed. With our second, we would lay her down in our bed until it was our bedtime. Both worked fine!

And welcome to MDC!


----------



## wasabi (Oct 12, 2004)

I put my baby down between 6:30 and 7:30 and go to bed quite a bit later myself. She originally slept quite well and wouldn't wake after going down for the night until about 2am or later. Then she would wake once before I went to bed and then not again for 4-6 hours. Now she wakes all the time. :LOL Enjoy it while you can.


----------



## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

This evolved naturally over time with us. Q stayed up until 11pm-12am pretty regularly at that age, but by 6 months she had gradually moved back to a 9-10pm bedtime and now at 11.5 months goes down between 8 and 9:30. We have a kingsize mattress also, and a cosleeper, but I found that she woke up when we tried putting her in the cosleeper (and we used all the tricks -- warming the mattress first, having dh put her down, keeping a hand on her and slowly moving it away, etc.). So we waited until she could roll over and really lift her head up and put her down in the center of the kingsize bed with heavy body pillows along the edges and floor. One of us would then stay near that end of the house so we could hear her if she woke up (not a sacrifice, since the computer is right across the hall







) -- mostly just because we never got around to getting a monitor. Of course, now she's figured out how to get out of bed by herself -- she can't walk yet, but boy can she climb! So she just comes to find one of us if for some reason *ahem* we don't hear her wake up.


----------



## indeospero (May 23, 2005)

We're trying to make a similar transition right now. (We're struggling to get dd to stay asleep alone, but that's another story!) We put her down on our bed, which is also directly on the floor, and it seems perfectly safe to me. She's on a lambskin so the sheets aren't too cold, and covered with a light blanket. Then we climb in with her when we're ready for bed. Good luck!


----------



## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *reader*
I have done both of the things you mentioned. With my first child, we would lay him in his crib once his sleep schedule became more predictable, and then bring him in with us when he woke to be fed. With our second, we would lay her down in our bed until it was our bedtime. Both worked fine!

And welcome to MDC!

I have done the same that reader did with her first child, with both of mine. Both my kids also napped in their cribs during the day. I figured that "co-sleeping" is only actually cosleeping if mom or dad is asleep, too...so, as long as baby is the only one asleep, he/she can't be cosleeping! The crib seemed a safer option for sleeping solo. After the first night waking, they'd come to bed with me.

Wrt your other question about cosleeping without nursing at night, no, I have not had that luck. If I am desperate for some solid sleep, I leave the family bed and dh sleeps alone with baby for a part of the night. Since she is older now (19 months) she can go without nursing for a couple hours at night, and she wakes up less during the couple hours that I am out of the bed.


----------



## Junitune (Mar 11, 2002)

Unfortunately I never was able to get dd to sleep before me. I was usually so incredibly exhausted it would be all I could do to stay awake to nurse her to sleep. Occasionally I would fall asleep just before her.

I did, however, often have her nap in my queen size bed. She was on a lambskin and never rolled off the bed (the mattress was on the floor and I put pillows on the floor in case). She has never had a problem staying in the middle of the bed. She also learned early how to scooch off the bed backwards to get down on the floor.


----------



## BCmamaof6 (Sep 7, 2004)

We have always put the baby to bed as soon as they fall asleep even if it's hours before us. Years ago we had a queen size mattress on the floor. Now we have a king size mattress on a frame with a guard rail on my side.


----------



## proud mama of 2 (Dec 16, 2004)

Welcome









My DD co-sleeps and goes down before I do, in my bed. I lay down with her to nurse her after dinner, bathtime, story time and have been doing so since she started showing signs of 'wanting' (so to speak) a bedtime. I have a monitor in my room so I can hear her and if she wakes up she will fuss a little & sit up in bed looking at the door waiting for me to come









Any Lily definately wakes to nurse at night... most likely because a couple of days per week she's at daycare so those evenings she pretty much nurses all night long


----------



## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

I give him a bath and massage and then nurse him down to sleep in our bed. Then I get up and most of the time he stays down for 2 hours or so- sometimes if he's teething or something he'll wake after about 30 min and then I just go back and nurse him and get up again. Then when we're ready to go to bed for the night we just go hop in bed with him. I think he would wake up if I tried to put him in a crib or move him anywhere at all after he nursed to sleep.


----------



## corwinegall (Jul 7, 2004)

I think our timing is similar to yours. Dd goes with the flow with us (8 mos now). She'll have what I consider a 'nap' in the evening-I'll put her in a bouncer thing (it doesn't bounce, I don't know what it's called) or keep her in the sling or on the boppy while I work (I freelance, so I can work whenever she sleeps) and then wakes up before we go to bed at about 10 or 11, but as soon as we get hunkered down and lights are out, she goes back to sleep. She usually sleeps until about 4 or so, it has been like that for quite a while.

On a side-note, the most irksome question I get is 'is she sleeping through the night yet?'. I don't think that question applies when you're co-sleeping-it's different, her waking isn't considered a 'problem'.


----------



## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

I did that with my ds. I would put him to sleep in the pack'n'play in my room (we were planning on bedsharing) and then just bring him into bed with me when he woke up to eat at night. unfortunately that backfired when he stopped waking at night around 2.5 mos old


----------



## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

DS generally goes to sleep before us so I nurse him and lay him down in his crib (which is right next to our bed) He always wakes up when I go to bed, he can hear or smell me







He then comes to bed with us. I also put him in his crib for naps during the day. I guess that makes us part-time co-sleepers.


----------

