# In case you needed another reason - circ horror story UPDATE post 24



## OperaDiva (Jun 11, 2009)

To start off, PLEASE do not flame me for getting my son circ'd. I did the research, and was against it, but ultimately left the decision up to my DH because I had to argue pretty hard to get him to agree on so many other things that I considered more important (like vaxing). I know now that I was wrong, this should have also been a priority.

We went in on Monday morning for a normal Plastibell circ with local anesthesia on my 6-week-old son Hunter, and from what they could tell everything went well. I nursed him and took him home, he didn't seem to be in much pain and was eating normally. First diaper change, there was a little blood, which I had been told was normal. We then took a nap (I had been up all night nervous about the circ), and when we got up I changed him again. More blood, enough to concern me but not enough for me to think it was abnormal. Took another short nap, next diaper change was a different story.

It looked like he had peed the diaper in blood, and this is a fuzzibunz cloth diaper, so it was a LOT. Of course I panicked, nearly passed out from the sight of it, and held gentle pressure for 10 minutes. It didn't stop oozing blood. Called the doctor and headed to the ER of the childrens hospital.

When we got there, they saw us within 5 minutes, and were stunned at the amount of blood in his diaper. Took us back to a room, put in an IV and took a little blood to test. Through all this he barely cried, which worried me even more because I knew he had lost blood. The results came back, and his iron levels were low and the bleeding still wouldn't stop, so the urologist on call was coming in, and my baby was getting a blood transfusion and going into surgery ASAP under general anaesthesia. I have never been more terrified.

They finally took him back, from my understanding the surgeon removed the plastibell, completed the circ, and stitched him up (basically like the old fashioned circumcision without the bell). I finally got to see my baby again, and he had stopped bleeding and seemed to be recovering nicely. I held him all night as we stayed in the hospital, there was no way I could put him down.

We will see a hematologist in 2 weeks to review some tests they took in the hospital that should be back by then, to rule out a clotting disorder. I don't think he has one, I just think this was a complication from an unnecessary surgery. A complication that quite honestly could have killed my baby.

Any future boys I have will NOT be circumcised, because I can't do this again. It would kill me. I really don't care what DH says this time, although he might agree with me now, he kept saying it was all his fault while we were at the hospital because he insisted on getting it done.

Anyway, that's my story, if it helps someone not put their baby through unnecessary dangerous surgery, it is worth it. This isn't even the worst complication, if you search circumcision complications there are a LOT of terrible things that can happen.


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## erin23kate (Apr 16, 2009)

I'm SO SORRY this happened to you and your little baby boy.

Thank you for sharing the story; maybe it will help other babies in the future. Post it everywhere!!! Over here is preaching to the choir for sure and we apppreciate the ammo... but other places, it's not even discussed. I know you weighed the options, but so many people don't even do that.

((hugs)) and healing to your baby.


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## sept15lija (Jun 21, 2008)

s I'm so sorry you and little Hunter went through this experience - I'm glad he's doing well now though. Thank you for sharing your story.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing this.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Oh, how awful! I'm so glad that he is ok! THank you for sharing your story with us. That was very brave of you.


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## l_olive (Jan 18, 2005)

I'm so sorry for both you and your son.


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## SlackerDad (Jun 25, 2009)

I agree, you were brave to post this and I don't think anyone is going to flame you. Sorry to hear about what you and he went through, and I would just urge you like the others to be a "missionary" for intactivism going forward!


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## Pumpkinheadmommy (Nov 6, 2007)

Like the others have said, thank you for sharing your story. I know it must be difficult after all you've been through. I'll keep you and Baby Hunter in my thoughts, hoping for a full and speedy recovery.


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## Papai (Apr 9, 2007)

WOW. Thank you for sharing the story. Were you only receiving pressure from your DH to circ or did other people enter into the equation?

Hopefully ANYONE who pressured for you to do this to your son will think twice upon hearing your story. Could you ask your doctor if this complication is recorded on your son's chart as a result of the circumcision?


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

((hugs)) momma... Hug your little one and please take time now to just be with him and adjust to your new role as mother.
When you have the energy and if it is the right time for you, your story will help other parents.
(HUGS)
Jessica


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## SleeplessMommy (Jul 16, 2005)

*Please* be sure to write a letter of complaint to the MD who did the circ. Were you warned that blood transfusion and general anesthesia might be needed in the event of complications?

I am sorry this happened to your son.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)




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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

I'm so sorry your son and your family had to go through this. I can't wait until RIC is a thing of the past...


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

This just wrentches my gut on so many levels. I am sorry for your child and I hope he will recover ok.

I think you need to get copies of his medical records and the consent form you signed. I would be curious how "informed" your consent really was. It angers me greatly that the medical profession does not give truly informed consent and that they solicite circumcision at all. It's criminal in my opinion.


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## BugMacGee (Aug 18, 2006)

We had 2 badly bleeding circ's this week @ work (different MD's). Neither required surgery, but both lost a lot of blood (who needs blood?) and required special dressings and urology/surgery consults.

I'm sorry your little boy went through this. Unfortunately, it is all too common.

I like your title BTW.


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## glongley (Jun 30, 2004)

I am so sorry for your little boy and you. Glad you took the plunge to post, you will get plenty of support here. This is what we are trying to prevent for other boys and families.

I know you will have a lot of emotional recovering to do from this, but I want to reinforce the suggestions of some other posters to please tell your story to others when you feel up for it. Not just other expectant parents and peers, but letters of feedback to the doctor, the hospital, the hospital risk manager, the CDC, the AAP Circumcision Task Force. You have already written the majority of such a letter in the story you posted here.

It is all too easy for medical authorities to sweep these kind of events under the rug, or pretend they don't exist, and so the circumcision juggernaut rolls merrily along. The AAP and the CDC cannot in good conscience even consider recommending circumcision (although they seem to be trying), because they do not actually know how many boys have problems like yours did (or the ones Bug McGee just mentioned, or the ones I have seen at my hospital). There is actually no system for reporting of circumcision complications in the United States!

Healing thoughts to all of you. Hope you'll stick around.

Gillian


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## proudmomof4 (Aug 29, 2006)

and thank you for sharing your story!


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## LaffNowCryLater (May 2, 2003)

Thank you for sharing


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## hakunangovi (Feb 15, 2002)

Thank you for being brave enough to share your story. I am so glad that your precious son is doing well. I hope you are too!!

When you feel up to it, I would encourage you to submit your story to IntactAmerica. They are collecting any and all stories that illustrate the negative aspects of RIC to use as ammo in their struggle to see an end to this barbaric custom.


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

How horrible







Poor baby, and Poor Momma...and yes Poor Daddy! How scary, to have this happen to your LO








I'm so glad that you were able to go to a good children's hospital and have everything handled so well. I am sorry your husband is going to carry this guilt forever, my DH made the choice to Circ our first son and he STILL feels guilty 8years later and we didn't have the same experience at all.

I also think it took a lot of courage to stand up and say what happened to your son. These are very important stories to tell, because they happen ALL TOO OFTEN! We are so assured that "this is a basic and simple PROCEDURE" very rarely to the doc's ever say SURGERY (mine did, but we thought we knew what was best...) and often the end resultes aren't talked about! I've never told ANY ONE outside my mom and DH about the effects of my oldest's circ, and now that we have an intact son the differences are NIGHT AND DAY! I hope that you share your story with soon to be mom's and mom's online all over. It's a difficult conversation to bring up with people, but it's one that needs to be talked about. Thank you for sharing your story.

I hope for a speedy recovery for Hunter.


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## hippiemommaof4 (Mar 31, 2008)

oh mama I am so sorry my heart breaks for you both ((((hugs))))


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## serendipity22 (Sep 19, 2006)

Newborns can die from shock from losing only a small amount of blood.

If he had been a newborn instead of a 6 week old, it sounds like he might have bled to death.

I would make some sort of official complaint.

If you don't, it will just keep happening.

I would consider suing them for malpractice.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

because this needs to be available.

OP did you ever get the results back?


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## OperaDiva (Jun 11, 2009)

I did get the results back, the blood tests showed no reason that this should have happened, no clotting disorder or anything like that. At the hematologist they had to take blood that day to re-check platelets and such, and it was awful, they had to stick him 3 times to get the blood because he inherited my tricky veins







Boy did that bring back all the horrific emotions of the circ, it was all I could do to not snatch him away and sit in the corner bawling because they were hurting him.

I had my follow-up with the urologist on Monday, everything is totally healed (as much as a mutilated penis can be). The nurse practitioner I saw said she actually tries to talk people out of circ because of the potential for complications. She did make sure she mentioned at my pre-circ appointment that there is no medical reason for it, and she did list the risks, including bleeding. I wish it had occured to me at the time that this could mean difficult to control, potentially life threatening bleeding, but hindsight is 20/20 I guess. Anyway, at the follow-up she basically said we were just the unlucky ones who ended up with the complications, and while it is rare it does happen. She also said that if she were me she would not circ any of her later sons either.

I'm still trying to figure out what to do from here, and exactly who I should tell my story to through letters (CDC, AAP, etc.). I am still pretty emotionally raw from the whole experience, to the point where I really want to cry just thinking about it.

On another note, DH and I had a serious heart to heart the other day after he got called out on his "my way or the highway" style of being a husband, and I realized part of the issue was wondering if guys from my past were uncirc'd and I preferred them to him







This is not only not the case (never been with someone intact), but if he had mentioned this before the circ maybe I could have talked him out of it! I think we are going to get some counseling to work through his issue with not respecting my opinions, and hopefully this will help me be able to explain to him in a way he understands just how traumatic this entire experience was for me.


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## BlessedMommy2006 (Dec 7, 2007)

I'm glad that your son is healed up and is doing okay. Many healing vibes both physically and emotionally to your family.









Please share your story when you can. Sometimes personal experience touches people where facts or statistics can't.


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## BugMacGee (Aug 18, 2006)

I agree that you need to share your story. The more people hear about this happening, the more they will think before they circ.

And I'm very glad your son doesn't have a clotting disorder!!!


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Oh my, what an awful situation. I'm glad that you and your husband are working on the communication and respect issue. I wish you both the best.


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## Papai (Apr 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OperaDiva* 

On another note, DH and I had a serious heart to heart the other day after he got called out on his "my way or the highway" style of being a husband, and *I realized part of the issue was wondering if guys from my past were uncirc'd and I preferred them to him







* This is not only not the case (never been with someone intact), but if he had mentioned this before the circ maybe I could have talked him out of it! I think we are going to get some counseling to work through his issue with not respecting my opinions, and hopefully this will help me be able to explain to him in a way he understands just how traumatic this entire experience was for me.


















UNBELIEVABLE! He wanted his son circ'd because he thought his wife secretly preferred intact men?! Even if you did, it would have nothing to do with your son, as you as his mother wouldn't be doing anything sexual with your son's penis anyway!

I agree with you, it's unfortunate it took your son getting hurt for your DH to admit his insecurities. People say it time and time again, but it really seems that most of the time when a circumcised father is arguing for his son to be circ'd, it's because he's avoiding confronting some insecurity about his own penis. Sad.


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## juliebird (Jan 26, 2007)

OH Mama! I'm so sorry you and Hunter had this terrible experience but am so glad he's ok now. Thank goodness that you were paying attention and able to get him to a doctor so soon.


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## proudmomof4 (Aug 29, 2006)

Just sending another wave of healing







along your way...


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## mommyminer (Aug 20, 2006)

My nephew bled too much from a circ too. By the time he got to the hospital, his hemoglobin was 4 and he required 2 blood transfusions.


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## tutucrazy (Dec 30, 2008)

What a tragedy. I'm so sorry for you and your precious boy. (BIG hugs)

I know it will take some time but your voice is SO important in our cause. Please stick around and help other mothers understand the harms of circumcision. It will bring you great healing to know that you have protected other boys.


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## brant31 (Jan 11, 2009)

That's a pretty tough little dude you've got there, *Operadiva*! Some of his lethargy may have been the loss of blood, but it sounds like he has a strong constitution, too. Still, my heart sank at your story.

Your experience happens all too frequently among the 1.2 million circumcisions carried out every year in the US, even if the medical profession tries to deny it. They insist these are "extreme rarities"; we know this is not true. Warnings about severe blood loss go all the way back to the Talmud's writing, when parents with 2 sons who bled to death from their circumcisions were exempted from having to have future sons circumcised (and this doesn't refer just to hemophilia). The severe bleeding risk was known then, and it's known now, even if they're better at covering it up and denying it now.

As others here have asked, please honor your son's plight by documenting this as thoroughly as possible. If you're the type, write a letter to your newspaper or free local parenting magazine -- many cities have them. You're in Texas, right? You can send letters to your state rep and state senator, telling this heartrending story and explaining why your state should not be funding automatic newborn circumcision through Medicaid (your tax dollars). Or staff a baby fair booth for a couple of hours with the amazing folks who do intactivist volunteering in either Ft Worth or Dallas. It'll do wonders for how you feel about turning Hunter's scare into something very positive for you all, especially if you can get DH to pitch in!

You can make this upsetting turn of events into a net empowering experience for your family and a blessing for other families. Most of all, don't let it go unremembered and undocumented, or that will compound the sadness.


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## OperaDiva (Jun 11, 2009)

Just thought I'd give this a bump back up while I'm thinking about it. One year ago today I had a whole, intact, beautiful 3 week old baby boy. 3 weeks later, I almost lost him because of a stupid cosmetic surgery. I have shared my story in many different places, and had several friends decide they will never circ sons because of my DS's experience. It doesn't change anything for my son, but hopefully changes a few lives down the road.


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## Pirogi (Apr 5, 2007)

Thanks for bumping. I hope your son and your family are doing well.

I didn't see this thread a year ago, but it struck me when I read the discussion you and your DH had about his insecurities and assumptions about your past and your preferences ... this is also the result of circumcision. Your DH was circ'd without consent also, and decades later, still felt the repercussions of that. I hope you and he have been able to work through this. He was very brave in admitting the root cause to you, and his hurt should be honored as well.

Congratulations in ending the practice with your son's generation!


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## smeep (May 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OperaDiva* 
Just thought I'd give this a bump back up while I'm thinking about it. One year ago today I had a whole, intact, beautiful 3 week old baby boy. 3 weeks later, I almost lost him because of a stupid cosmetic surgery. I have shared my story in many different places, and had several friends decide they will never circ sons because of my DS's experience. It doesn't change anything for my son, but hopefully changes a few lives down the road.











Congrats, mama. I'm proud of you. You did what a LOT of people cannot or will not do. You learned from your mistake.


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