# Why do *you* co-sleep?



## ihugtrees (Oct 16, 2008)

I'm trying to explain co-sleeping to my very mainstream friends and family...even my crunchy-ish best friend is not quite sure she gets why we want to do it. I feel like I'm coming off sounding like one of those moms that gets all her emotional fulfillment for her child...and this baby isn't even here yet!

I know why I want to co-sleep but I'm having a hard time putting it into mainstream speak. So, I wanted to know, if they know, what do you tell your non-crunchy circle about why you co-sleep?


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## mkmoro311 (Oct 23, 2006)

If your breastfeeding its the best choice. The baby developes better breathing habits while sleeping because it follows your heart beat. Dramatically cuts down on the reisk of SIDS. Baby sleeps longer and more peaceful so in turn so do you. The rest of the world co-sleeps, the US is so crazy to think babies should be in a room by themselves and we wonder why there is a disconnect from our childen!


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## RedPony (May 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mkmoro311* 
If your breastfeeding its the best choice. The baby developes better breathing habits while sleeping because it follows your heart beat. Dramatically cuts down on the reisk of SIDS. Baby sleeps longer and more peaceful so in turn so do you. The rest of the world co-sleeps, the US is so crazy to think babies should be in a room by themselves and we wonder why there is a disconnect from our childen!

ITA









Nursing is soooo much easier at night with your baby right beside the buffet.







Eventually you get so good, you barely (if at all) have to wake up to nurse. That, in my book, made it all worthwhile!

You're RIGHT THERE all night. Your baby is with you, the one place he/she wants to be. A parent can almost immediately detect illness, discomfort, exploded diapers, whatever, and take care of it. This applies to naps during the day, too. My baby almost never slept out of my arms until she was much older, like over a year. Even then, I was never more than a few steps away from her.

I know that I am a much, much better parent because I chose to co-sleep.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Babies are enough work without deliberately making yourself have to get out of bed every 2 hours.


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## Twinklefeet (Mar 19, 2008)

Well, the best thing I've been able to come up with is that I let my dogs snuggle up in bed with me and hubby, why on earth would we exclude our child??? Also, I am *way* to lazy to get out of bed in the middle of the night to nurse, and plus, if I got up to nurse the dogs would wake, and then husband would have to wake to take them out and... well, you get the point.


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## sept15lija (Jun 21, 2008)

Getting more sleep all around is the reason we started. Breastfeeding is so much easier this way once you learn to nurse on your side. Now we do it because we all love it. DS starts out the night in his crib and then usually joins us around 1 or 2 am, sometimes though he will sleep all night in his crib and I start mising him!


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

Because it is the best way to tend to my child's nighttime needs. Because I can't sleep if my ds is sleeping in another room. Because I love snuggling with my little sweetie.


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## Biscuits & Gravy (Jul 17, 2008)

One reason is that we both sleep better. Neither of us has to fully wake up. He stirs and grunts, I wake up long enough to latch him on, he nurses while I doze and then we both fall back asleep. Compare that to being in a crib in another room: Baby stirs and grunts, mama isn't nearby to hear him, he wakes up even more and starts to cry, mama gets up out of bed and goes to him, nurses and gets him back to sleep, then mama has to get back in bed and attempt to fall back asleep. Lather, rinse, repeat all night long.

Second reason is that I can't bear the thought of such a tiny person being all alone. He spent months inside me, so close and warm. The thought of taking him further away from me just doesn't sit right with me.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

My first night with her, I couldn't put her in her crib. I couldn't even put her in the port-a-crib right next to the bed. She spent the previous nine months sleeping with me and I couldn't bare to part from her once she was no longer inside of me. I enjoy watching her sleep and cuddling with her. She and I sleep exactly alike (on our sides, with our hands together under our cheeks) and we like to be next to each other. If she's in the other room, how will I hear her cry?
Within the first few days really, we were totally in sync. We would both wake up within moments of each other in the middle of the night to nurse, which definitely made everything easier. With no crying (at least not from her







) there was no added stress, especially since her dad didn't wake up.
When her dad was working shift work (which totally sucked by the way) and we were all alone at night, having her sleep next to me was a great comfort. I had someone there with me.
Either way, my baby is never alone. She's just a baby and I wouldn't leave her alone in any other circumstance so why would I leave her alone to sleep?


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

We cosleep with children who are past nursing. Here are some of our reasons:

If there were an emergency or fire in the night, I wouldn't have to waste precious time roaming the house looking for my children. Dh and I could just take them and get out. ETA I don't think children should even be ALLOWED to sleep in separate rooms unless they have demonstrated ability to wake at the sound of the smoke detector and evacuate the house by themselves.

If one of my kids got sick in the night or had a seizure (nighttime epilepsy runs in my dh's family) I would be right there to know what was going on and care for him.

I have always been prone to nightmares and don't like to sleep by myself. Why would I tell my kids "mommy and daddy get to share a bed but you have to sleep alone!"

We can turn the thermostat down if we all cuddle together.

Cosleeping from the start every night or having the option of starting in one's own bed and crawling into mom's bed if one is scared in the night helps my kids be more secure and happy during the day.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Because I like to sleep and getting up to nurse a baby every couple of hours doesn't help with that.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

nvm .. wrong thread


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## paulam (Jul 31, 2008)

I've just told ppl that LO would not sleep in his bed alone. DH and I desperately wanted sleep. LO instantly went to sleep in our bed, then we were able to get some sleep. I jokingly explain it that I am just do what ever it takes for me to get a good night's sleep.


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

I started because it felt right to me when my DS was a newborn. I had planned to use a bassinet and then a crib, but my instincts told me NOT to put him down alone. He ended up to be too restless of a sleeper to co-sleep full time past the first year (we rouse each other from sleep too easily), but I really feel that the research supports the idea that small infants are meant to sleep close to their mothers.

I also enjoy how convenient it is to nurse in bed, but this is not a factor in my decision. I would have no problem getting up to nurse if that's what I believed to be best for baby.

I am expecting my second son in April and I am planning on co-sleeping this time around.


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## CCChanel (Dec 13, 2006)

Human babies are just like animal babies... they instinctively need to be near their parents at night.

I'm not going to induce anxiety in my child by making them sleep away from me... just because the rest of the US population says I have to.


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## mylegs (May 20, 2008)

I like to sleep. Babe only likes to sleep next to me. Rinse, repeat.


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## Draupadi (Jul 19, 2007)

It's really quite simple.
I'm too lazy to get out of bed to get him from another room and nurse him. It's much easier to roll over, lift up my shirt, and go back to dreamland.


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## spirit4ever (Nov 4, 2004)

it started with preventing sids.. then it just felt right


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## apple_juice (Apr 17, 2008)

nak

it started because we had a one bedroom apartment and continues because we like it and i am way too lazy to get up and nurse. roll over pop it in go back to sleep.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

I like sleep.
Nursing is easier.
I'm so paranoid that she's going to stop breathing so I keep close so I can poke her throughout the night (can we say paranoid?)
Waking up to a giggly happy baby and cuddling in bed is way more fun than running down the hall to get a screaming kid.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

Because, to DH and I, it just feels right. Our DS is 4.5 and we still cosleep.

Having our family together at night is a way for us to bond. DS feels so much a part of the family and he really values the time together. He needs to be close and needs touch - at night he almost always has one hand or foot on one of us. He's always been this way and it seemed cruel to make him sleep alone. I'm an adult and I don't like sleeping by myself - why would I think it would be easier for a child?

I like knowing that he is safe. DH says he likes having his family all in one place. As others have said if there is an emergency it is easy to gather everyone up and go.

We trust our instincts as parents and recognize what works for our son and family and what doesn't. If it doesn't work we look for other solutions. If it does work we go with it and don't care what others think.

We also don't talk about it a lot. We do not parent the same way as most of our friends. If it comes up usually our confidence in our decisions shows through and folks just don't question it. We just say it works for us and I guess others don't feel like we're judging their style so they don't try and argue with us - or they think we're just weird and don't bother.









Edited to add it is hard to argue GD parenting when you're still pregnant or have a tiny baby (actually, it's hard to argue it with someone who has a child older than your own no matter the age). But, remember, the proof is in the pudding. We get more compliments on our son - how smart he is, how confident he is, how articulate, how funny he is, etc. and we just smile and say thank you. I know the majority of his personality has nothing to do with us but we do take a little credit for our parenting choices to let him find himself and be here to guide him. Don't listen to others. Listen to your children and you'll be a great parent. Your children's behavior will be the biggest "voice" they have - when DS starts acting up I start looking at reasons why instead of trying to control him or make him behave. Every time I've gone against my gut instincts I've regretted it.


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## Aubergine68 (Jan 25, 2008)

Here is another one I just thought of...

Dh works long and irregular hours, and travels for work. When he is home, it is important for him to spend as much time with the children as possible.

Dh is a lighter sleeper than I am, and sometimes loses sleep when the toddler is restless, but he feels more connected to our toddler and preschooler as a parent when they sleep all snuggled up to him at night.

The demands of the working world separate him from his children all too much. Co-sleeping helps him get some of that bonding time back.


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## shanahan (Jan 16, 2008)

oh goodness, so many reasons!!

I never intended to be a co-sleeping family - but when ds was born, he would only sleep laying on my chest. Frankly, it freaked me out because I had only heard how dangerous co-sleeping was. Thank goodness I had fallen in love w/Dr. Sears during pregnancy so was somewhat familiar with the Baby Book... As I read and thought more, it just made sense... My son and I "knew" each other in a way that either of us knew anyone else. He had slept with me every night while being made, so of course he still wanted that. And he was completely helpless - so of course he still needed that. Again, it just started to make sense from a biological/anthropoligical way...

Then we were bf'ing, and as others have said, its much easier to just roll over than to get up. I'm a light sleeper to begin with - and getting out of bed totally disrupts my night clock, so I'm up for hours then. This way, we were all better able to sleep...

Also, I am a hypervigilant person - I wake up at the slightest noise, I worry for no reason about robbers breaking in and fires and stuff. I figure out ways in which we could escape quickly. Imagining my newborn (or now toddler) in another room, not close by, terrified me...

And, whenever he has gotten sick, I think about what might have happened had I not been right there. Twice he has thrown up silently in the middle of the night - once turned into a very violent stomach virus, where he was really to weak and scared to even cry. If we were in seperate rooms, I never would have known







And another time, his breathing got severly affected by a cold - so much that it had affected his heartrate, etc. Again - I'm glad I was right there...

Plus, I simply enjoy it. I work part-time, so I feel like I never get to spend enough time w/DS - this gives me 11 or so more hours a day with him, getting to know him and be attached with him on a very intimate level. I love cuddling him down to sleep, and playing with him as soon as he wakes up in the morning. I love it when he is 1/2 asleep in the middle of the night and sweetly says "MaMa" in the happiest voice as he reaches out and touches me. It makes me sad to think about the babies who reach out for comfort, for their mama's, only to find substitutes.... I love it when, like last night, he gets tickled by something in his dreams and starts giggling... Its too adorable for words - and I would hate to miss it...

Although I have definitely had my personal "crisis of faith" when it comes to co-sleeping (are we doing the right thing?, please I need more sleep, will he ever sleep through the night?, what are we going to do when the new baby comes?!), overall, I feel that we are doing the right thing for our son, that he loves it - and so do I!


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## JennaW (Oct 11, 2007)

-Our house is 660 sq feet and I don't really care to take up any of that precious space with a crib since DD can safely sleep with us.

-Nursing is better and easier.

-I love snuggling my sweet girl all night and always knowing where she is and what is going on with her.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Single biggest reason- it's the way humans are designed.

-Angela


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

It's easy. I'm afraid I won't hear him if he wakes at night. It's easy. I like the extra body heat. It's easy to nurse him. I like to wake up to baby noises "Ta da da ta da!" There is no good reason for him to sleep elsewhere that I can think of.


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

As others have said, not having to get out of a warm bed to BF is fabulous! Of course, I could NOT BF side-lying till DS was nearly 5 mos old & apparently other Moms experience that too - just FYI in case it doesn't work for you at first.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aubergine68* 
The demands of the working world separate him from his children all too much. Co-sleeping helps him get some of that bonding time back.

Same here. I WOH 4 days per week so I don't want to be away from DS any more than necessary. I never thought I would think of co-sleeping as time _with_ DS (since we're unconscious most of the time!) But still - somehow it does feel like "bonding" time in a way. I enjoy the closeness.

& waking up with him smiling is the best!









I also do part-time EC & often he'll have gas in the am, I'll take him to the potty & 'catch' his big morning poop. That's the best!

ETA, forgot to mention - I'm a strange bird too because I don't co-sleep with DH!







we've had separate beds for about 2 years now & we like it that way. So I didn't think it would matter much with DS, but I like it.


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## Leisha (Jan 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WilliamsMama* 
It's really quite simple.
I'm too lazy to get out of bed to get him from another room and nurse him. It's much easier to roll over, lift up my shirt, and go back to dreamland.

That's the main reason for me too.

(it took me a few weeks to master the side-lying nursing too, though!)


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## veganone (May 10, 2007)

I initially co-slept because it was the ONLY way DD would sleep. Co-sleeping meant I got to sleep. Not co-sleeping meant I never slept. Easy decision.

I also love it because I'm lazy and not having to even stand up when DD wakes is heaven. I just roll over, nurse, and go back to sleep.

I find I also love it and have not tried to stop because I WOTH FT and getting to snuggle with DD all night every night is lovely. It gives the two of us 8+ extra hours of time together every single day that we wouldn't have otherwise. I think it's really quality bonding time, frankly. Even in sleep she knows I'm there for her.

And there is nothing in the entire world like being able to hear her breathe and smell her precious little head in the wee hours.

What a weird thing to not understand. Why do married couples sleep together?


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## Indigomama (Dec 26, 2001)

So another...I go with the very simple...

I'm too lazy to get out of bed and do all that extra work and besides we all sleep just fine that way.. so... why change? People usually can't argue with that logic... what call me lazy? Yeah I just did that









I also grew up in a family that all slept together.. so my normal is not everyone elses normal. And they didn't do that because they were crunchy.. they grew up darn poor on a farm with 20 other people living in a small house cause no one could afford anything... and you just get used to always having lots of bodies next to you







. I just can't imagine sleeping solo... so frankly i find all those separate bedrooms/beds not normal.

What's really weird.. is that at work there's a lot of non Americans due to the partner companies we have on site... and they all think my co sleeping non circumcising is normal







: Sometimes you just have to give people a point of reference.


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## SamanthaJ (Jan 29, 2004)

For bonding and nursing purposes.
I didn't want to get up a million times in the middle of the night to nurse the baby or just check on him.


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## Pyrodjm (Jan 9, 2007)

Because that way I don't have to wake up 2-4 times a night to feed DD and then help her back to sleep. This way she can eat whe she needs to and no one has to wake up. Also when she was a newborn, she had reflux and I often worried about her not being able to breathe or stopping breathing.With her next to me I didn't worry.


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## inky leeuhhh (Aug 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Babies are enough work without deliberately making yourself have to get out of bed every 2 hours.

im totally using this one if the issue comes up when the new baby is born


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## wallabisfarm (Jun 22, 2007)

there's no way I would get any sleep w/o dd right there so I could check on her - I would be up all night peeking in to make sure she was still breathing and had covers on and hadn't woken up! plus, as dd is still a new arrival, she wakes up several times a night checking to see that mama and papa are still there - as long as one of us there she is okay, but the one time she woke up by herself b/c I had gotten up to pee - man oh man we had a rough night - if we tried to leave her in another room I can't imagine any of us would survive the meltdowns. dd is 2.5yo - with a newborn I would be that much more worried b/c of sids.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

I originally started cosleeping with my son when he was a newborn because I didn't have a crib yet. He had a bassinet and the plan was, in a month or so when we had the money, to get him a crib. He slept for about two hours in his bassinet the first night, but I didn't sleep at all those first two hours. I was convinced he would stop breathing as soon as I left him. The first time he woke wanting to nurse, I just brought him into bed with me to nurse and he never left.









In short time, I also discovered that he breathed more regularly when sleeping against me, and was less restless and slept better when he was with me as well. On the rare occasions when he breathing did falter or when he woke up sick, the faintest noise and I'd be instantly awake and there to help him, something I probably would have missed, even if he was in a crib in the same room.

When he got older and I had to go back to work, the thought of him being away from me all day and then all night, too, was too much. We continued to cosleep until he was 8. It was a good way to reconnect after a busy day and, my son was never a good sleeper- completely gave up naps at 13 months and only slept from 10 or 11 pm until 7 or 8 am- so the only way *I* was gonna get any sleep was if I slept whenever he was sleeping.


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## hotmamacita (Sep 25, 2002)

We coslept when our babies were infants and/or nursing. Then we gently transitioned them to their own beds in our room and then to their own rooms.


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## lizzylou (Jul 11, 2006)

When he was a newborn I co-slept because I didn't feel comfortable leaving such a tiny baby to sleep alone. It felt natural to have him with me.

I still enjoy having him next to me, but now the main reason that I co-sleep is because I'm lazy. I like being able to nurse him while I sleep.


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## marywing (Nov 10, 2008)

i can't sleep w/out a hand on dd chest to make sure she's breathing and sleeping with an arm in the bassinet got uncomfortable really quickly.
i don't have a go-go gadget arm to reach her crib in the other room.
it's the only way she'll sleep- her body up against mine. started out of necessity, continued because i love it.


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## guestmama9904 (Jul 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ihugtrees* 
I'm trying to explain co-sleeping to my very mainstream friends and family...even my crunchy-ish best friend is not quite sure she gets why we want to do it. I feel like I'm coming off sounding like one of those moms that gets all her emotional fulfillment for her child...and this baby isn't even here yet!

I know why I want to co-sleep but I'm having a hard time putting it into mainstream speak. So, I wanted to know, if they know, what do you tell your non-crunchy circle about why you co-sleep?

i actually have met a lot of non-ap/non-"chrunchy parents who cosleep. its much more common then people think. for me the main reason is it just feels right. instinctually i believe its best for my baby and our family. on a very basic level it is simply easier then getting up to nurse 5 times a night, i need my sleep too, you know?

also i think as parents we DO get a lot of our emotional fullfillment from loving our children, that isnt wrong, its just human nature.


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## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ihugtrees* 
I'm trying to explain co-sleeping to my very mainstream friends and family...even my crunchy-ish best friend is not quite sure she gets why we want to do it. I feel like I'm coming off sounding like one of those moms that gets all her emotional fulfillment for her child...and this baby isn't even here yet!

I know why I want to co-sleep but I'm having a hard time putting it into mainstream speak. So, I wanted to know, if they know, what do you tell your non-crunchy circle about why you co-sleep?


it is the only way i will get any sleep. this last child refused to sleep anywhere else. i would love for her to at least give me some room, but alas, i am all scrunched up every night in some weird position that says yoga even though i dont have the time. but then there is the night where she will roll over into her side carred crib and i am AWAKE b/c i miss her so close i can hear her breathe. and she is now 22 mo. lol.

what do i tell friends: that i love feeling her breath on my face. it is easier to bf. that i love to be able to sleep. at all. that she needs me.
what did i tell DH to convince him: nothing. DD screaming b/c i laid her down was enough. that man likes to get sleep too and if sleeping with her is what worked, then that is what happened. now he loves to wake up and get his morning snuggle.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

We started when my oldest was born and I couldn't stand the thought of him sleeping by himself all the way across the room. And I was slightly paranoid.









Its just so much easier. Both my kids slept so much better snuggled up next to me it didn't make sense to force them to sleep somewhere else and then wake up all the time. Bfing was definitely easier, especially after I went back to work after having my second and he reverse cycled. I never had to completely wake up and we were both happy and rested.


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

I absolutely love it!
Easy to nurse, easy to check on her, easy to cuddle up and kiss her.

It feels wrong to isolate her in another room when the rest of the family is in our room (dogs and humans).


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

Our daughter sleeps with us half the night because it's the only way we all get sleep. She goes to sleep in her own bed, but when she wakes up she gets into bed with us and everyone sleeps. FINALLY.

When she was smaller, she didn't sleep with us because no one got any sleep that way.

I don't have any big philosophy I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. That's my big sleep philosophy - I just want to.

I wouldn't worry about winning over friends and family. You'll figure out how your baby sleeps best and you'll do that. If co-sleeping isn't working, you'll try other things. No big deal. It's not worth trying to convert the masses.


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## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

DD is almost 2 and off and on we have co-slept with her. Right now she goes to sleep with me, dp moves her to her bed (in our room) and then at some point during the night or morning she wakes up and comes in bed with us again. We do it because we would lose 1-2 hours off sleep if we didin't. She used to sleep in her own room and she was happy there and everyone slept well. But hen a coupl eof month ago she always wanted to sleep with me. Being in the first trimester I didn't have teh energy or desire to put up a fight. The few times we tried to transition her back (b/c dp sleeps better without her in the bed due to the fact that she sometimes kicks or tries to lay at a 90 degree angle) it was not pretty. And she would wake up 2-3 times during the night and whine and stuff. So we are doing much better this way. I like it and I am more rested. I know its not dp's favorite solution but he is more rested too and for now its working. It won't last forever and right now the snuggle time is so sweet!


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## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

Plain and simple-I'm lazy.

DD is mostly in her own bed now, we've discovered that we now get worse sleep if she's in bed with us. Plus I'm pg and I don't want 2 kids in bed after the baby is born. She's 2.5 and thrashers around and then we all are grumpy in the am because no one gets sleep if she's in the bed. Her bed is in a room attaching ours, she wakes up once and DH takes her to the potty. It's been transitioning back to this because we all got sick and everything went out the window.


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

1. It's easier. I'm lazy, no way am I getting up (or even SITTING up) to nurse a newborn a million times in the middle of the night.

2. I'm paranoid. I need to know that my babe is safe and breathing, and I'm aware enough in my sleep to know if something is wrong that I need to take care of (even if it's just adjusting the blankets, or latching him on). I couldn't have that same level of awareness if he was several feet (or rooms) away.

3. It's how human babies are "supposed" to sleep. For most of human history, infants have slept with their mothers. Cave-babies needed to stay close to mom so they wouldn't freeze, or get eaten by wild animals, or fall prey to any of the other dangers that are out there when you are small and helpless. Babies now have temperature controlled, predator-free houses to sleep in, but they are still wired to believe that ALONE = DANGER. You can't "teach" them otherwise. I don't want my children to be scared for no good reason, especially when they are so small.


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## Shami (Oct 9, 2007)

The number one reason is that biologically it is better for the baby. It prevents sids. It helps to regulate their breathing, their heartrate,and their temperature(studies back this up).
The number two reason is that it felt wrong psycologically to put a tiny, helpless person in a dark room by themselves.

I noticed many moms saying that they are 'lazy' and this was the reason. I wish you wouldn't say that to people because then they don't see the value in co sleeping. What they see is a mom who is too tired, or too 'lazy' to do the 'right' thing and put them in their crib. This doesn't help to aleviate the fears and concepts about co sleeping. Telling people that I'm just too lazy to get up exacerbates the negative stereotypes related to co sleeping. I agree that it is easier on mom and baby, and in many cases we can get more sleep or be a little lazier, but for me, this was a biproduct of co sleeping rather than a main reason to co sleep.
(not trying to start an arguement, the tone in my voice is not judgemental, just trying to present another perspective)


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## Mommy2Haley (Oct 25, 2007)

Cosleeping started out as "DD will only sleep when she's in between us" and I was still against bedsharing. Then it just developed into full cosleeping/bedsharing and that's where we are now. We attempted transition to the crib but it was a nightmare. I couldn't sleep because I was so scared I wouldn't hear her cry. It ended up being easier to keep her with me. Besides, snuggling next to my baby is way more enjoyable than having her sleep by herself across the hall. Why should she sleep so far away? She's just a baby!!


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## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

Shami-I get what you are saying, but truthfully laziness was my biggest reason. For me to be a good mother having my DD close so that I could nurse and sleep was really the biggest thing. I really don't think there is anything wrong with that, unless you are talking to the wrong person, but I wouldn't be talking about my sleeping arrangements with them anyway.

Honestly it's nobody's business where my baby is sleeping as long as everyone is healthy and happy that all that matters.


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## Shami (Oct 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Norasmomma* 
Shami-I get what you are saying, but truthfully laziness was my biggest reason. For me to be a good mother having my DD close so that I could nurse and sleep was really the biggest thing. I really don't think there is anything wrong with that, unless you are talking to the wrong person, but I wouldn't be talking about my sleeping arrangements with them anyway.

Honestly it's nobody's business where my baby is sleeping as long as everyone is healthy and happy that all that matters.

Ok. What I am hearing from your post is that you were a better mother having your dd close so that you could nurse and sleep more. To me, that is not laziness. To me, that is knowing what works best for everyone. This is what I heard most of the previous posters saying...something like what you just said. If you really look at it, the reason isn't laziness at all. The reason is that you all rested better and therefore you could function better. Do you see what I am saying? Why not say that I function better when I get more rest and cosleeping/night nursing helps me get that much needed rest. Sorry I am so wordy right now.
And, true, true, nobody else's business anyway!


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shami* 
I noticed many moms saying that they are 'lazy' and this was the reason. I wish you wouldn't say that to people because then they don't see the value in co sleeping. What they see is a mom who is too tired, or too 'lazy' to do the 'right' thing and put them in their crib. This doesn't help to aleviate the fears and concepts about co sleeping. Telling people that I'm just too lazy to get up exacerbates the negative stereotypes related to co sleeping. I agree that it is easier on mom and baby, and in many cases we can get more sleep or be a little lazier, but for me, this was a biproduct of co sleeping rather than a main reason to co sleep.
(not trying to start an arguement, the tone in my voice is not judgemental, just trying to present another perspective)

I just wanted to say I agree with this.


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## BeantownBaby9 (Jan 15, 2009)

For us, it started in the hospital with a baby that would not even sleep in that dang plastic bassinet 8 hrs after being born. I had to hold him. He taught us he needed to be held. So from there, my research and all the medical/biological/anthropolical evidence just backed up what my son was telling me.
1. nursing is tons easier/better, I can fall asleep while he is still going
2. neither of us fully wakes 99% of the time, so even frequent wakes don't mean I am up all night. 5min tops and we are both back out. He's not a pat on the bum or backrub kid, but if I can just roll him onto mychest and hug him, he'll go back down, again so much easier in bed versus a crib or even sidecarred
*3. There is absolutely no better feeling than waking up in the morning with a warm peaceful sleeping baby in your arms. All is right with the world every morning when I wake up, and by the end of the day when my day has gone to hell, the little boy laying with me is a reminder that LIFE IS GOOD!*


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## bmcneal (Nov 12, 2006)

I co-sleep because I'm lazy.









No, really, DH and I didn't intend to co-sleep. While we were in the hospital with DD, DD slept very well in the bassinet. From day 1, the *very* first time we tried to put her in her bassinet when we got home, she cried. And I'm not talking whimpering, maybe a few tears, I'm talking screaming, gagging, face and body all red, everything.







We tried everything we could think of, putting her bassinet basket thing on the floor (taking it off its legs) so she could see us, lift the mattress so she would be *exactly* even with our mattress, get her asleep and put her in, put her in half awake, everything. Finally, after about 3 days on literally *no* sleep, we decided to just bring her in our bed, and whatdya know, she was asleep *instantly*. From then on, it was a no-brainer.

Nursing was/is easier, and snuggling with DD and DS







it's great! Now, I wouldn't have it any other way! (And with DD being 3, and starting all the "big girl" stuff, like talking about using the potty, I'm honestly a little nervous that she'll want her "own" bed soon.







)


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## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

It's easier!


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shami* 
I noticed many moms saying that they are 'lazy' and this was the reason. I wish you wouldn't say that to people because then they don't see the value in co sleeping.

I honestly usually start with the 'lazy' comment and THEN lead into the benefits for the baby. It encourages the other parent to relax and not feel like I'm saying I'm better than they are. Starting off with "what I'm doing for my baby is better than what you're doing for your baby, and here's why" (even though nobody says that, that's how people *take* it) doesn't get through. Saying "haha, I'm lazy, but check out all the good things that come along with that!" seems to be received better.


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## puddle (Aug 30, 2007)

I can't really think of good reasons not to co-sleep.








I hate it that we're always put in the position of defending what is, frankly, the normal and natural thing to do. If people try to make me justify my parenting decisions to them, I prefer to turn it around on them. What benefits are there to making your child sleep alone? Why wouldn't you want to snuggle up with your baby all night? Aren't you scared to leave a tiny baby all by herself? Doesn't that just feel wrong? Don't you miss her?


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## laurelg (Nov 27, 2007)

Because I very, very much like to get as much sleep as possible every night (always have) and I am entirely too lazy to get out of bed to nurse/check on DD several times throughout the night!

That was my reason for co-sleeping initially, anyway, and now that we're a month in I will add that I really enjoy snuggling with our little bug. I feel like it is the safest place for her to be - listening to her breathing patterns respond to mine, knowing that I'm right there if she wakes up upset or hungry... I can't imagine doing it any other way, especially with a newborn.

*EDIT:* I just wanted to add that I totally agree with *prothyraia*. I'm well on the crunchy side of mainstream, and I still get very put off by the crunchier-than-thou mommywars stuff I see going on. Chances are by the time someone is asking about our sleeping arrangements, they're already aware I'm a cloth diaperer and a breastfeeder and a babywearer. I have found some mainstream parents get VERY defensive when they feel like they are being "confronted" with AP choices - like what I'm doing is a _criticism_ of the way they're parenting. So, I think admitting things like _hey - I do this because it's a lot easier on us, and I'm lazy!_ can break the ice there. I think there is a misconception that a lot of AP choices are the harder way to do things, and too much to handle for busy or overwhelmed parents, and I'd like people to realize that really isn't true.


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## Nolliebfly (Sep 10, 2008)

I just couldn't put my baby in another room all by herself. To me it just seemed scary to think she was laying there wonderng what was going on? I also found myself sleeping on her floor when I tried to put her in her crib...that didn't work for anyone. So now she is two and sleeps w/ us. Yes people have a hard time accepting it or understanding it, but it is what we have choosen. It really isn't anyone's business to understand why you are doing it...you just need to be ok with it. All that matter's is what goes on in your house w/ your family. It's not always easy...but you will feel this wonderful bond and have such comfort that your little angel is just right next to you. Good luck


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## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

When I started out, I never thought I would co-sleep. It just felt like it was the right thing to do from the beginning, and 5 years later we are still bed sharing a lot of the time!


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## Shami (Oct 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prothyraia* 
I honestly usually start with the 'lazy' comment and THEN lead into the benefits for the baby. It encourages the other parent to relax and not feel like I'm saying I'm better than they are. Starting off with "what I'm doing for my baby is better than what you're doing for your baby, and here's why" (even though nobody says that, that's how people *take* it) doesn't get through. Saying "haha, I'm lazy, but check out all the good things that come along with that!" seems to be received better.









I do see what you and Laurel are saying about breaking the ice and easing into the conversation without criticism. Thinking back to my conversations with friends, I probably said how easy my nights are by co sleeping. I know the way we say things can really turn people off.
So, I guess I just wanted to respond and say that it depends on the conversation and the audience. Usually when sleep arrangements come up you are already close enough to the person to tell them your beliefs. Many times it is family that we are trying to help to understand our choices.
I brought this out because I am so tired of people thinking I am going to kill my baby, or spoil her for life. I don't understand how the USA got so far away from something so natural and sweet and healthy.


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## zoeyzoo (Jul 6, 2007)

I do it because it's easier and the baby sleeps better. I can feed and resettle dd without having to get up out of bed, wake her up, put her back to sleep, etc. I would get no sleep whatsoever during her sleep regressions if I did things the mainstream way.

I tried putting dd in a crib 2 feet away from me and even had dh do have of the night shifts and I still got less sleep. DH was complaining he was getting no sleep, I was getting no sleep, and the baby wasn't sleeping because it took dh 1-2 hours to get her back to sleep each time because we didn't catch her stirring until she was partying.


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## Princessyoga (Dec 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sept15lija* 
Getting more sleep all around is the reason we started. Breastfeeding is so much easier this way once you learn to nurse on your side. Now we do it because we all love it. DS starts out the night in his crib and then usually joins us around 1 or 2 am, sometimes though he will sleep all night in his crib and I start mising him!










This the exact same in our house. We both like having her in with us.


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