# Keeping co-sleeper in bed while you're not



## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

OK, last night my worst nightmare (well, maybe not the worst but something I've been afraid of) happened -- I heard a thud and then screaming -- my 14.5 month old daughter had manage to fall out of the bed while asleep. No goose eggs. Only a slight bruise on two very opposite forehead sides, so not sure how the actual fall happened.
Scared the crap out of me, DH and her (took her a second there to catch her breath.) Called our local Peds after Hour and the dr. was great (didn't make a comment about well, next time you should really not put her in your bed) and said she sounded OK.

We had the bed rigged and blocked with pillow piles all around because she IS an active sleeper. Still not sure how she maneuvered b/c the side she fell from has a high pillow pile. And the pillows were untouched. But they completely surround her where she sleeps in her boppy. ????

Unfortunately, we have a big fancy sleigh bed crib that you CAN'T sidecar. The side doesn't drop -- it only comes off and on. And the way our bedroom is set up, we can't get a bed side against the wall without blocking a door.

Tonight, I got her to sleep on the bed and then when DH came home, she woke and he managed, after 45 minutes, to get her down in the pack and play in our room. When I tried it, it wasn't happening.
I like her in our bed. She likes it.
I am thinking a king (we have a queen) would give us a little more room so she'd really have to move to fall.
I am also looking into the bed rails they make for toddler beds.
Has anybody used those? What are your thoughts? Could they really hold up a kid who is falling with all of her weight against it?

What happened last night has me so heartbroken. Any suggestions or advice?
I even thought of putting her crib mattress on the floor in our room but as much as she moves, she'd be off of that in no time.


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## TirzhaZ (Jun 15, 2007)

Is it possible to have her sleep between you and DH? This is how we sleep with DD which works great...then DH and I are kicked equally by her!!


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## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

She does sleep between us, but this happened before we went to bed.
So when we're not in there, we barricade all sides.
She goes to bed pretty early (but doesn't nap so that's perfect for us!) and I don't care to join her in bed at 6, 6:30 p.m. So my only concern now is the couple of hrs before we go to bed...


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## GreenCrunch (Jun 10, 2007)

we're in the same boat here... queen bed, 14 month old, steamrolls when he sleeps, pillows built up all around him, etc. he actually fell out of the bed around 9 months (we were at my parents' house with carpeted floors). it's something i keep replaying over and over in my mind and it's awful. we have hardwood floors here in our house and i live in fear that it will happen again. when he naps, i make sure i can hear the minute he peeps so that he doesn't roll off. i have tried teaching him to get off the bed "feet first and on your belly". that helps when i am there with him, but i worry that if i'm not there he will just go over the edge. as far as the bedrails go, i think he would just use those to pull up on and go over the side, headfirst. i don't think those would work for us.

when we move, i hope that we can put our bed mattress on the floor. in the meantime, i just am constantly listening for him to wake up...

sorry that it happened -- i hope someone here has a better solution!


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## keriberry (May 27, 2007)

We gave up and took the bed off the frame. A fall from box springs and mattress is much easier to take. We also taught our kids how to "dismount" when they were about 7 months. Never had any boo-boos. Although, we did have a close call. I walked in to my mothers bedroom just in time to see my supposedly sleeping 9 month old dismount from her waist high sleigh bed. But, she made it. I gave it a 10!


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

We have a folded futon mattress on the floor at the end of our bed (the only open side) that lowers the distance between bed and floor considerably and cushions any fall that might happen. You could probably find something like that on freecycle with a little luck.

We cosleep with both kiddos. When it was just dd, we did the same as you -- mountain of pillows around the edge of the bed. And that worked well; she never fell out. I did catch her burrowing under them a couple times, though, and if I hadn't happened to come in at that moment, she probably would have fallen. Now that she's older, it's not an issue, so she goes to bed in the big bed.

But our youngest is a squirmer, and we don't want the baby (no matter how big he is) in bed alone with a toddler, so he starts his nights off in a little fold-out foam toddler bed/couch that we got for $30 from Toys R Us. That sits right on the floor so when he decides to flip and roll, he just scootches onto the floor and keeps sleeping. When I go to bed, I pick him up and transfer him to the big bed, and he nurses right back down to sleep, if he wakes up at all.


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## Ducky5306 (Jul 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *keriberry* 
We gave up and took the bed off the frame. A fall from box springs and mattress is much easier to take. We also taught our kids how to "dismount" when they were about 7 months. Never had any boo-boos. Although, we did have a close call. I walked in to my mothers bedroom just in time to see my supposedly sleeping 9 month old dismount from her waist high sleigh bed. But, she made it. I gave it a 10!

Pretty much what i did too! bed and boxspring on the floor and Luke has known the "safe way" to get out of bed since before he could walk

Pillows scare me for afew reasons.. one it just makes the fall higher and two they can get tangled in them and not be able to breathe.. So I did something close to this http://www.snugtuckpillow.com/photos.htm

but i went the waaay cheaper way! took a normal body pillow made it round (but still long, kwim?) but folding it long ways and tied ribbon around it to keep it round then put it UNDER my fitted sheet on the side of my bed.. its high enough to keep him from rolling out but he can't get tangled in it..

sorry you had such a scary moment! i had one when ds fell out of bed onto my laptop at 7 months old... he wasn't hurt as he landed on his big cloth diapered booty but still


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## Julian's Momma (Oct 25, 2006)

It happened to my DS too. Awful!

We now have the matress on the floor. We moved the frame and the boxspring into the garage. Since the side he sleeps on is against the wall, we placed a toddler bedrail at the foot of the bed since he rolls all over the place at night too. To top it off, I place a long body pillow next to him in case he wants to roll over all the way to the other side. If he gets that far (up and over the pillow and all the way across the bed), he is usually wimpering for me to come nurse him back down anyway.

If you are not used to it, it looks goofy but it will give you such peace of mind! The bed is just as comfy and never have to worry about that again.

I would lose the fancy sleigh bed! At least for now. Move it somewhere and it'll be back before you know it. Can you turn the bed in any way so it is against the wall anywhere? Move or lose any other furniture to do it? If not, I would definitely get a bed rail (or two or three if you need to!) as soon as possible. We are happy with this one that fits over our pillow top just fine...

http://www.babyage.com/products/0910...campaign=10198

I haven't used this one, but it is extra long and may work well for you....

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html...sin=B000EW3GGO

Hope you find a great solution that works for you!


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

We just put our mattress on the floor. It doesn't look as nice as our beautiful bedframe, but I figure it's just temporary. And it's worth it to me if we all get more sleep.


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## RockStarMom (Sep 11, 2005)

I immediately moved the mattress to the floor after my daughter fell for the first time. Well worth the peace of mind.


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

Ugh! We are in the midst of this ourselves! Ds woke early last night, so I moved him from the crib (where he usually starts the night because of my fear of this) to the bed to feed him and left him there since we were coming up soon. Well he woke again, and pulled a 180 and was inches from taking a header onto the tile floor! Glad I got there when I did. Still not sure how he escaped his Fortress of Pillowtude, but it put the fear in me. I think we'll be flooring the bed this weekend.

I really hate it, though, with the cats, it's dust bunny central down there! But, Finnie's safety is more important than my dust bunny phobia.

It's okay, momma! If it makes you feel any better, Finn fell of the couch when I was right there beside him. I had closed my eyes for a milisecond to take a sip of water and he took a severe header, onto the tile floor! Accidents happen.


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## keriberry (May 27, 2007)

"Unfortunately, we have a big fancy sleigh bed crib that you CAN'T sidecar. The side doesn't drop -- it only comes off and on. And the way our bedroom is set up, we can't get a bed side against the wall without blocking a door."

Hmmm...this is how I did the side car. We took off one side and the wheels were off the crib. Then with our matress and box springs on the floor, it was a perfect fit. We put a pool noodle on the crib rail side to keep the mattress flush with our bed. It works great. We also did this because we couldn't find a wall to be flush against. Baby has a 3 sided barrier and 4 when you get into bed. Granted I ended up sleeping in the crib with them a lot, it saved our co-sleeping family. Dh wanted his space in the bed *and* his wife back, KWIM?


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## MsElle07 (Jul 14, 2006)

We've had this issue with all three of our babies. We decided to lie the baby down in his/her crib when she went down for the night (usually around 7:00). When the baby woke to eat, we brought him/her into bed with us for the rest of the night, after we'd gone to bed.


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## lurve (May 5, 2006)

we just put the bed on the floor - no box springs!


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## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

So sad but reassuring to hear it's not us.
We do have a wood floor, like a PP mentioned, so it had to have hurt. And our sleigh bed is waist high.
She's still not walking and I haven't even tried to show her how to get off. Will try that tomorrow.
DH gets home from work late and she absolutely won't go down anywhere else but our bed with me (screaming, crying, hysteria, etc...) So the past two nights I've been getting her on the bed, waiting and then when he comes home he moves her to a pack and play now in our room and gets her back to sleep when she inevitably wakes. When she wakes again b/c she's ticked at being confined, we're in bed by then and just pull her up.

The way her crib is set up, if you take off a side, it will be structurally unsafe. It would only have the two back legs for support. And she's just too big for the co-sleeper. She'd be out of it head over in no time.
I did think about putting a futon mattress on the floor (ILs own a wood furniture store and SIL owns a futon store, hence our nice furniture, otherwise we'd have junk LOL)
We really can't move the bed -- either way it would block some sort of doorway. We tried the next morning.

I guess we'll put it on the ground tomorrow. And then maybe put a futon mattress even next to that for extra safety. I'm worried about her hitting her head on the bed rail, though if we go to just a mattress that would solve that problem, or breaking her neck of something with a funny fall. Sigh. Things were much easier before she was mobile.

I just don't want to be one of THOSE parents (you know, the ones who drop -- or in our case let our kid fall -- on their head.)

the head on the tile, hklinefelter, would have scared the crap out of me!

That's a good point, too, that Green Crunch had about the baby using the rails as an aid in going over. WIll have to check the links for the ones from Julian's Momma.


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## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

And Ducky 5306, just remembered your idea. I have 2 body pillows from when I was pregnant so will have to give that a try. And maybe the other pillows?
She sits up in her sleep and falls over, etc... so I'm wondering if that's how she got over the barricade..


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## genericmom (Jun 19, 2007)

Maybe you could invest in the childrens side rails that you can just put down when you get into the bed?

I've always been so scared my kids will fall off the bed without me that I usually lay them asleep on a huge blanket on the floor (carpet) or on the couch until Im ready to get into the bed myself..then they go between us!


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## sfashho2 (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *keriberry* 
"Unfortunately, we have a big fancy sleigh bed crib that you CAN'T sidecar. The side doesn't drop -- it only comes off and on. And the way our bedroom is set up, we can't get a bed side against the wall without blocking a door."

Hmmm...this is how I did the side car. We took off one side and the wheels were off the crib. Then with our matress and box springs on the floor, it was a perfect fit. We put a pool noodle on the crib rail side to keep the mattress flush with our bed. It works great. We also did this because we couldn't find a wall to be flush against. Baby has a 3 sided barrier and 4 when you get into bed. Granted I ended up sleeping in the crib with them a lot, it saved our co-sleeping family. Dh wanted his space in the bed *and* his wife back, KWIM?










I'm loving our sidecar crib too! My baby is right next to me but, my husband and I still have our bed. It's like one big extended bed. I feel safe that the baby has 3 high sides and me next to him. Our mattress and his are at the same level with no gaps at all. We didn't have to use bunggie cords or anything because both beds are pushed up against a wall in a corner with no worry of moving.

We didn't just "lower" his crib rail...we took it off. I think you may be able to do it with your crib. Here's a link for instructions:
http://groups.msn.com/SteveandLishsF...decarcrib.msnw


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## BethanyB (Nov 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ducky5306* 
So I did something close to this http://www.snugtuckpillow.com/photos.htm

but i went the waaay cheaper way! took a normal body pillow made it round (but still long, kwim?) but folding it long ways and tied ribbon around it to keep it round then put it UNDER my fitted sheet on the side of my bed.. its high enough to keep him from rolling out but he can't get tangled in it..









That's brilliant! I didn't want to pay that much for the snug-tuck pillows, either. Great idea.


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## InDaPhunk (Jun 24, 2005)

Spring for a video monitor, then you can see DC when they're getting close to the edge. One goes for about $100, which is kinda pricey but since you're considering all sorts of pillows and toddlers beds and whatnot the cost difference might not be that much.

It was definitely worth it in our case. When DS was about 8 months he started doing this thing where he'd wake up and start crawling in his sleep before he even made a peep. At home it was fine bc I had the mattress on the floor at the time and pushed up into a corner so he would just climb the wall and then wake himself up and cry, then I'd go nurse him back down, but on trips out of town he'd sleep in all kinds of beds that weren't set up that way so the risk of him falling out of bed was very high. DH was deployed at the time and I was always traveling so I needed it- the monitor kept me sane.

We use it at home now and I so







it (even though I used to think it was some stupid, unnecessary thing that only moms that were too lazy to check on their kids would buy...that'll teach me







!!!!)


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## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

Thanks for all the tips on the sidecarring from people.
Unfortunately, like I said before, it's not possible with our crib. Not only does the side not lower, if you remove it, the crib is no more. The sides you would put against the bed to sidecar are what the latches for the mattress hook on to.
So you'd have a mattress angled to the floor and a crib that is shaky with just 2 feet and 2 sides with pointy areas (that are smooth when crib set up.)

But the examples of the one sidecarred look really nice and I wish we could do that! I don't even think our big honking crib, if we had that option, could fit in our room with our bed, too!

Question, though -- as for tucking the round pillow under the fitted sheet -- the pillow's not really any higher than the pillow barricade that's already there. So I wonder if I should try the round pillow and our normal barricade?
And do you take it out when you go to bed? We'd have to or we wouldn't all fit very comfortably in a queen.

Also like the idea of going to sleep on the floor. We have a small master (nursery is bigger!) and there's not a lof of floor space and DD wakes if she's moved. We don't have one of the kids who will go back down nicely if you move her, etc..., especially not if it's me doing the moving. We're kind of modifying that for the past couple of days after The Fall. I get her down on the bed and stay with her until DH comes home and he moves her to teh pack and play, she wakes a little, but goes down much more easily for him. When she wakes up in the middle of the night ticked at being confined, we've moved her back with us and that's worked.

Just saw the post about the video monitor -- which brand do you use? The ones I've read reviews on have not been favorable so when we did update our monitor (other one gave us great eavesdropping into our mean neighbor's phone conversations) I didn't get a video one.
I watch her move in her sleep -- she sits up, falls off to a different angle, sits up, etc... Rolls around. Rather active sleeper. Was much easier when we could put her on the Boppy and that was all she needed.


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## InDaPhunk (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peapiebaby* 
Just saw the post about the video monitor -- which brand do you use? The ones I've read reviews on have not been favorable so when we did update our monitor (other one gave us great eavesdropping into our mean neighbor's phone conversations) I didn't get a video one.

I bought the one with all the bad reviews







. I knew it going in, though:

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html...sin=B000B6MKTC

My expectations were low. It's fickle, sometimes it gets interference, sometimes it's crystal clear, but it's always clear enough for me to see DS on the bed and that's all I need- and now I don't even need it for that, really, though it's nice. You could try it out and return it if it didn't work well. Utilize the controls on the back to fine tune things. HTH.


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## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

Couldn't get the link to work, but was it the Summer Infant's one?
That is a good idea and much easier than putting a mattress on the floor (and then taking away our dogs' little bedtime hideout/all-around safe zone from DD.
May check Babies R Us, too, for their prices since I think I have some coupons.
The Target one though had some pretty favorable reviews now that weren't there when I initially looked.
Do you ever have any interference problems? But I guess you could just turn the sound down so that's not as big of a problem?
Our first monitor (who thought we'd be looking at a third!?) picked up the conversations and scared the crap out of us the first time. Then it was just funny b/c they are the neighbors nobody can stand. But it was so loud I couldn't eavesdrop without scaring the dogs and DD.


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## InDaPhunk (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peapiebaby* 
Couldn't get the link to work, but was it the Summer Infant's one?

Yes. No huge interference problems just some static occasionally, but still usable. Moving it here or there will usually fix it. Just try it and see if you like it, return it if you don't.


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

We are having the same issue. Our Ds fell out of bed at 3months and landed on hardwood. We were house sitting and the bed was an extremely tall sleigh. His cloth diaper saved him. It was the most horrifying scream I have ever heard. My husband now sleeps on the sofa. Ds and I sleep in the queen. We tried the cosleeper bed but he wasn't really fond of it and he outgrew it rather quickly. This morning I woke up and he was upside down. One thing that has helped is using a sleep sack or tog(grobag). That way ds has to slither slowly. Before we go to bed ds is alone with the pillow dams, the monitor, and hawk parents checking on him. Our condo is only 800 sq feet we do not have very far to go. But we too need a solution. I was going to get a crib for naps and for pre mum bedtime and then bring him to bed. We do not have a wall with out a window so we cannot put our bed up against the wall and I do not think bedrails would help because ds would use them to get out to top it off I can sleep through anything. As he becomes a better nurser it worse ... the other night I awoke to him nursing through my tank top....Any advice


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## lynsage (Jul 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peapiebaby* 
I just don't want to be one of THOSE parents (you know, the ones who drop -- or in our case let our kid fall -- on their head.)











you mean like every other parent, ever?


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## srbushey (Sep 27, 2006)

My parents were with us for about a month after dd was born. They slept in our second room on a futon on the floor (the frame was bad anyway). We had a cosleeper in our room for her. After they left, I started napping with her on the futon and discovered it was waaay more comfy on my back than our bed. Our bed bows a lot in the middle. DH and I watched a movie one night on the futon as I nursed dd to sleep. Then dh fell asleep, which he usually does during movies, and I decided we could all sleep there too. I share the dust bunnies and bed bug fears, but since most bugs can get into a regular bed, might as well sleep on the floor! Besides, what a great way to help beat summer heat! We haven't slept in our regular bed since, and in fact it has become a catch-all, much to my chagrin, but we're all sleeping happily and worry-free.


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## kaia8 (Apr 8, 2007)

Sorry for yet another effusive review for the Tres Tria, but I *really* couldn't love it any more. Peapiebaby, I'm so sorry that happened to you! But as you can probably tell, I think it happens to every mama once or twice, and most of our kids end up fine. =)

The Tres Tria is like the body pillows that Ducky 5306 was talking about, but it stays in place by itself. And I personally love natural latex! I have as much of it as I can afford. The Tres Tria is kind of heavy, and when you put it under the sheet you totally can't move it. (well unless you take off the sheet, lift it, etc...) I did the whole pillows everywhere thing for a long time too, on both sides of baby, on the floor, by his feet... and the Tres Tria just makes a cleaner bed.

It's for sale here:
http://www.betterforbabies.com/store...?idCategory=26

And I think the store owner Leah actually designed it, which is pretty neat. I love the latex heart shaped pillow too, you can get it for half price if you get the TT. !!! Okay sorry, I'll go gush somewhere else now... good luck, whatever method you try!


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## peapiebaby (Jul 7, 2007)

We bought the monitor today. Picture is decently clear. Learned we will have to better angle it tomorrow night -- was OK with us sitting up but now with DD down and the Barricade up, hard to see.
Doesn't work at all, though, when cordless phone on.
DH thinks he's some PI, LOL. He's been sitting there watching the monitor all night.

We also have a body pillow under the fitted sheet and the normal Barricade up.
She went back to sleep much more easily than him trying to get her down in the pack and play for the past couple of days.

I like the Tres Tria -- I REALLY like it that my boyfriend Noah Wyle is using it.







(So sad when he left ER, but Patrick Dempsey came along soon for Grey's so I was OK. Those are my only two shows, I watch.







)
Does it ever go on sale?

Thanks for all the tips from everyone -- really appreciate them. And VERY reassuring to know I am not the only one dealing with this...


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## naturallyspeaking (Sep 1, 2006)

I also have a squirming 14 months old. So far she has fallen off the bed a few times. One while she was napping and fell on to area rug next to the bed and the other was when she was awake. We put guard rails on DH's side and foot side and Arm's Reach on my side. She was plopping down on the bed on top of a body pillow next to the guard rail and I was on the bed next to her. She was happy and plop, plop and boing.... When she plopped down, the spring action from the pillow and gravity threw her backward and she flew backward landed on her cheek on our hardwood floor next to our bed. It was so fast I couldn't even grab her...
She did cry but it didn't last long.
After this, I don't trust these pillows much and also when I put her down for a nap, I remove them off the edge of the bed, so she can stand easier on the bed waiting for me to come get her. Many times when she gets up from nap, she is standing or sitting at the EDGE of the bed and I need to rush to get her before she falls. She did fall once while waiting for me so I think she knows by now that if she falls it hurts.
Oh the joy of having a family bed...


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

We have a bedrail that you put on a toddler's bed to keep them from falling out of bed. It works great!


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## lillyfire (Jun 9, 2007)

Hugs to you! We have a toddler -style bedrail on my side of the bed to keep our 6 month old in while giving me a little more space in our Queen. When we bought it at BRU they were also selling double rails that can flip up on each side of the bed. They also flip down so they don't have to be up all the time. I'd try that. I like the rail on my side. It makes me feel more secure with him on that side and it's made of nylon and mesh, so it's breatheable if he got his face snuggled up against it.

Marie


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## kikidee (Apr 15, 2007)

I have always been SO worried about DD falling out of our bed, so I put her down in her crib at first. It's almost like a nap or something - she usually gets up after an hour or two though, so that makes it easier - I just go to bed then with her or read or watch TV while she sleeps in our bed.

I don't know if that's an option, or if DD is weird for waking up after a couple of hours.


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kikidee* 
I don't know if that's an option, or if DD is weird for waking up after a couple of hours.









Totally not weird. This is what we do most nights. It's just easier to know that DS is not on his own in the bed or the kitties aren't aggressively cuddling.


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## talitha (Sep 5, 2006)

Glad you got the monitor and like it! We have the Hand held one, and love it. It definitely provides some peace of mind.

We had an extra mattress, (from when we upgraded to a king) and put that on the floor of ds room. I nurse him down, and lay him on the mattress where I don't worry so much about him falling. Then when he wakes up a couple hours later (if I'm lucky







) I take him into the big bed.

Good luck!


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## GracesMama (Oct 24, 2006)

When DD was an infant we just slept with the mattress on the floor against a wall. As she got older, we added the boxsprings. When we moved to a place where we couldn't put the bed against a wall, we bought a bed rail. It worked well for us.


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