# Second time around



## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

Today I realized that I'm losing this baby too. I've spent most of the day telling myself that I could be bleeding and the baby could still be fine....trying to ignore the cramping and the backache. But I know. My body is betraying me again.

I feel so different this time around. Everything is different. Last time I never felt like everything was okay, I knew something was wrong. We found out because of an ultrasound and our midwife lovingly sat us down and told us. We cried together for hours. This time...it just started to happen. And I've tried to deny it and we went shopping for a potty seat and watched movies. I burst into tears once. I feel like if I start to cry and start to mourn, it will be real....and I will fall apart. I was so sure about this baby. Now I feel like I'll never trust myself again, never trust my body again.

I'd always thought we'd have a big family because my DH and I have agreed to never try for or prevent pregnancy. We leave it in the hands of God. And now I don't think I ever want to be pregnant again. I can't take any more heartache.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Oh Sabrina. I'm so sorry.

What kind of bleeding are you having? Have you verified that it's over? Sometimes people bleed and things turn out just fine.


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

I am so sorry...


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## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

I haven't had an ultrasound or anything, but I recognize what's going on. I went from just spotting to...blood with substance, I guess you could say.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

I'm so sorry.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I can relate to nearly everything you said. I'm so so sorry. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

I'm so sorry


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## hsmamak (Jan 4, 2009)

I'm very sorry; it's so hard







.


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## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

Oooookay. After almost 48 hours of feeling like I'm miscarrying, I feel fine. Cramps are gone. My back doesn't need a heating pad anymore. Still have blood when I wipe, but I'm not having anything in the toilet.

I'm scared to hope! Is there such a thing as a stalled miscarriage?

I'll be calling the clinic in the morning. If they can't get me an ultrasound ASAP, I may just go to the ER. I need to know. I'm terrified, but I need to know.

I don't know how I'll sleep tonight.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Sabrina,

I agree and think you should have an ultrasound soon. I hope everything is okay, one way or another.


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## bramblevine (Mar 10, 2009)

:

















:


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

mama


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Still thinking of you.


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## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

I have two hours to kill before my ultrasound. I'm going crazy. Pray for me, ladies!


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

Definitely praying. I hope everything's OK.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

I'm praying!!!!







:


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Praying for you!!


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## clicksab (Oct 15, 2006)

Our baby is gone








At least now I know and can begin to accept it and grieve.

I wanted a miracle so badly. Sometimes hope just hurts.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry.


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

Oh, I am so sorry.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

I'm so sorry, Sabrina.


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## bramblevine (Mar 10, 2009)




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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

I'm so sorry, Sabrina.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I am so sorry Sabrina....may love and light surround you now. I am sending enormous healing vibes to you, and lots of hugs.

*HUGE enormous hugs* XXX


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## SLOgirl (Jan 13, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Know that there are others of us right here with you to help you heal. I know it gives me comfort. We discovered the loss of our little Tahoe a week ago today (u/s), and I passed the baby on Thursday. It's so painful, physically and emotionally. I lost one early (5.5) weeks in December, and this one was at 12 weeks. It's so much harder. We thought everything was fine and then, all of a sudden... If you need to talk, PM me. I am having blood taken tomorrow to make sure that everything is going down, though I'm still feeling (and wanting to feel) very much pregnant.


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## NoelleInLove (Dec 15, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Deir (Aug 19, 2005)

Oh (((hugs)))) it is so hard when you have a glimmer of hope. This last m/c for me was a bit like that. I had a few weird symptoms after the mc and I actually thought,"Could it have been twins?" I took a pg test and felt like an idiot for thinking something silly like that. Your body hasn't failed you! Hang in there


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