# Supernanny last night...



## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

I know most all of us don't agree with her techniques but last night's season premier was a tear jerker. It was about a mom who spanked, grabbed, soap in mouth, etc. Very violent with her kids it seemed. She had a background of being treated that way by her mom which she talked about a little bit. Supernanny told her it was appauling the way the children were being treated. She questioned the mom "what does spanking accomplish" and the mom said "to make me feel better". I thought it was a very good show last night that brought to light the problems with spanking your kids. It left me wondering how many spanking families it reached out to and changed their minds about what they were doing. Anyone else see it? Comments?


----------



## ShaggyDaddy (Jul 5, 2006)

I was raised on shame based manipulation so maybe it is just a sore spot with me, but I am not sure how much better it is than violence based manipulation.


----------



## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

I am so mad at myself because I forgot to watch! I really wanted to see this.

Does anyone have a tape of this? I could PayPal you for shipping.

Thanks!


----------



## MelanieMC (Jul 7, 2005)

for the first time I actually agreed with supernanny! I thought it was very violent the way that mom was treating her children (for those who didn't see it, she slapped them in the face, pinched, pushed, name called - i.e. "brat", and rubbed soap in the roof of their mouthes). I loved that Jo pointed out to her that hitting them obvioulsy wasn't working or teaching them anything, so why do it? I couldn't believe the way that dad acted; just coming home, cleaning up the kids messes, then leaving to work out for 1 1/2 hours!







: I can understand how that mom got in the situation she was in. She was alone with her kids all day with absolutely no help from her husband. I'm glad that they changed things and I hope they continue with the GD they learned.

ETA: I also thought it was really sad that the parents had such a hard time just hugging or kissing each other for no reason other than to do it. It almost broke my heart when the mom was talking at the end of the show about how she never hugged or kissed her kids or told them she loved them. I just can't imagine living that way. I was hugged every single day by my mom and was always told how loved I was. I feel so sorry for the kids out there who dont/didn't get that.


----------



## dillonandmarasmom (May 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StacyL* 
I am so mad at myself because I forgot to watch! I really wanted to see this.

Does anyone have a tape of this? I could PayPal you for shipping.

Thanks!

I believe you can watch it for free online. YouTube or ABC.com
I'll see if I can find it when I get time...
I sat and knitted last night with it on. It was kinda hard to watch without being very judgmental, so I turned it off about halfway.


----------



## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

I saw parts of it and was quite suprised at the level of violence the mom showed. IMO it went beyond spanking. Maybe it was just the part I was watching but it showed her almost throwing her daughter against the wall over and over to make her stand in a timeout. I didn't see the ending so I am hoping it was all resolved and ended well but it was fairly graphic to me.


----------



## dillonandmarasmom (May 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr* 
I saw parts of it and was quite suprised at the level of violence the mom showed. IMO it went beyond spanking. Maybe it was just the part I was watching but it showed her almost throwing her daughter against the wall over and over to make her stand in a timeout. I didn't see the ending so I am hoping it was all resolved and ended well but it was fairly graphic to me.

Yep, not the spanking most spank-ers will try to justify. This was out and out hitting.


----------



## MelanieMC (Jul 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr* 
I saw parts of it and was quite suprised at the level of violence the mom showed. IMO it went beyond spanking. Maybe it was just the part I was watching but it showed her almost throwing her daughter against the wall over and over to make her stand in a timeout. I didn't see the ending so I am hoping it was all resolved and ended well but it was fairly graphic to me.









: I honestly couldn't believe how rough she was with them. You know, when they can be that abusive in front of a camera crew it really makes me wonder what happens when no one's around to watch. I saw the whole episode, and Starr, she threw that girl up against the wall at least 4 or 5 times.







I was really suprised that no one stepped in and told her to cool down, especially when she slapped her son in the face.


----------



## Roar (May 30, 2006)

What I thought was unfortunate was that Supernanny is encouraging a method discipline (physically moving children to the corner) that still has the mom's hands on the kids. Given her history and difficulties in this area, I think it would have made more sense to begin with a kind of discipline that isn't so likely to cycle over into her old habits of handling the children too roughly. That said, I was glad to hear firmly expressed opinions that spanking is not okay. Though I suspect spankers who watch it will instead say that they aren't hitting their kids like that woman - sort of like she's out of control, but I'm not.


----------



## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

I never saw her slap her son in the face. Did the nanny ever talk about the mom going to anger management classes or something similar because she definetly had issues she needed to overcome. DH walked in on one scene when she threw the daughter against the wall and commented that at that point social services should take a look. I agree they knew they were filming so obviously tamed it down a little, makes you wonder what an everyday thing it is.


----------



## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

She did tell him she was going to slap his face off but I didn't see her do it. Supernanny did step in at one point to get the mom to cool down. She practiced breathing exercises with her. It's a lot for the mom to overcome. I totally understand where she's coming from (her background). Mine was a lot like what she explained. I have never hit my child but I do have anger issues that are caused by the way I was raised. I feel for her and am glad she's taking these steps to overcome her past. My dh refused to watch it but I told him I thought it was important that it's on tv because the supernanny was making such a point to be outspoken against spanking.


----------



## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

I usually don't watch but saw this eposide lastnight. Wow. I was impressed with superNanny this time. I don't fully agree with her methods (time out/corner,etc) but it was soooo much better than what the mom was doing. I felt for that mother too. She seemed really hurt herself and she really put her heart out there. I hope that the changes she made were genuine and not just in tv land...and I hope those changes stick.

I'm praying for this family.


----------



## sweetpea333 (Jul 2, 2005)

i watched it, and it was a real tearjerker, it was so sad







I liked when the mommy and her kids started to bond and she gave them one on one time, the kids seemed so much happier and the mommy. I didnt really like the naughty corner either though...


----------



## Hazelnut (Sep 14, 2005)

I didn't see it. You know I know time outs and naughty chairs and such aren't the greatest approaches, but for some of the parents on there- either with out-of-control parents or out-of-control kids (yes, some are, through probably no fault of their own) I think her methods are a good start. I was raised with a lot of shame (everyone was staring at you, why can't you act more like so and so, why are you like this, etc. etc.) and I don't think naughty chairs are quite down to that level. Supernanny- from what I've seen- always stays calm. I think that's good for people to see. She could be so much worse.


----------



## eloise24 (Nov 17, 2005)

The whole thing just made me sad. I know there are families out there who are out of control, since I work with them. But it's awful to actually see it happening on tv. Yuck!


----------



## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

Yuck.
It was so disturbing Dh and I could barely watch it.


----------



## punchy (May 26, 2006)

With all due respect, if you can 'barely watch' something, why do you leave the TV on? It is in your control to turn it off and not pay heed to such blatent exploitation of someone's sad, sad situation. I think it behooves one to leave the TV off (or better yet pitch it) and teach by example, that is, how to be a good parent.

Do you REALLY believe this woman's life will change by this program? Or will she just bask in her moment of fame and continue to behave rudely toward her children? She needs help, people, not a camera crew in her house! A sensable, trust-worthy friend, continued support, not an over paid pseudo 'nanny' who will just as righteously skip off to the next troubled home. Do you think she was coaxed to exaggerate her behaviour, for the benefit of the believers? God, I hate how TV makes smart people stop thinking.

Sorry, this one just got my back up in a bad way.


----------



## Mpenny1001 (May 21, 2005)

It was hard to watch, but I was interested in how a mainstream 'reality' show would handle abuse, because that's sure what it looked like to me. The mom was not only physical, but also seemed to use a lot of shaming. It was very hard to watch. That said, since I think (sadly) that a lot of American parents get all or most of their parenting education from shows like this, it seemed important to see what kind of message was going to be sent. I was disappointed. I think the mom needs some therapy for her anger issues. While the naughty corner/time out is better than being hit or having your mouth washed out with soap, I don't think a week with Supernanny is going to solve all of that family's problems.


----------



## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

It looked genuine to me.
I know they edit these things quite a bit but I don't think this mother was doing anything different for the camera. I think she truly made changes...her whole affect changed. I do hope they have follow up support for her to help her keep on.


----------



## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *punchy* 
Do you REALLY believe this woman's life will change by this program? Or will she just bask in her moment of fame and continue to behave rudely toward her children? She needs help, people, not a camera crew in her house! A sensable, trust-worthy friend, continued support, not an over paid pseudo 'nanny' who will just as righteously skip off to the next troubled home. Do you think she was coaxed to exaggerate her behaviour, for the benefit of the believers? God, I hate how TV makes smart people stop thinking.

Sorry, this one just got my back up in a bad way.

I sincerely hope that someone's life/attitude was changed by supernanny stating that spanking is appauling. The way she was crying into the camera that she will not go back to her old ways makes me think she has changed.

That mother opened up about her past & the way she was treated as a child. She was prompted to break the cycle of abuse. I was crying when she talked about her childhood because I could so easily relate. I could so easily BE that exact mother! And, if I was that mother, would watching that show last night give me a thought to change the way I was acting toward my child. I pray that it would!


----------



## MelanieMC (Jul 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *garrettsmommy* 
She did tell him she was going to slap his face off but I didn't see her do it.

the slap happened when they were outside on the porch. He was up on the porch and she was below him. It was when he spit at her b/c she hit him on the side of the head and then a minute later it showed her going inside with him and trying to get soap in his mouth.


----------



## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelanieMC* 
the slap happened when they were outside on the porch. He was up on the porch and she was below him. It was when he spit at her b/c she hit him on the side of the head and then a minute later it showed her going inside with him and trying to get soap in his mouth.

Oh, I saw him get hit on the porch but I thought it was the upper arm.


----------



## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

Did anybody record it or find a YouTube of it?


----------



## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

I have watched SN before but on purpose, I did not watch this episode. I fet like I would be exploiting the children even more. I don't like to see shows where people are being victimized, esp. children, esp. reality. However, I DO hope it helped the people who do this with their children see it on film-- to make them stop and think, "Do I do that?" and seriously question their behavior (and get help).


----------



## Summerland (Aug 9, 2005)

this was the worst supernanny episode i have ever seen, i couldent believe how much that mother hit her kids.


----------



## prettypixels (Apr 13, 2006)

It doesn't look like abc.com has *any* supernanny episodes available for viewing... nothing on youtube either. I'd actually like to see how Jo handled this one, I'm bummed I missed it, though it sounds so upsetting. I have friends/family who parent this way and I wish so much that seeing something like this could make them rethink what they do.


----------



## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

I usually just lurk here so "Hi"! I wanted to say that I couldn't watch this episode because just the previews for it made me cry! It seemed a violent thing to put on tv. But if it helps anyone to stop abusing their kids then I am all for it. I just can't watch.


----------



## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

I thought this was an awful episode. Honestly, Jo just didn't DO much. She wrote down rules and instead of hitting, she helped the Mom learn how to put her DD in time-out, but even when she was putting her into time-out it was very physical and looked violent because the DD kept running out. Mom would run after her and grab her and instead of hitting her she would throw her into time-out and some of the times she would hit the wall. It would have been better if she tought her to be more rewarding of the good behavior, a little more gentle....It did seem like she changed her ways, but I wonder how permanent they will be. It is way easier to fall back into the old pattern. I would hope that they got her follow-up care because if anyone needed it, she did.


----------



## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KMK_Mama* 
I thought this was an awful episode. Honestly, Jo just didn't DO much.

How disappointing. She was probably just in over her head . . .while I think she gives a good analysis of what is wong in the family, her Rx for discipline is sorely lacking . . .and in this case, that could mean serious consequences. You are right, I hope the mom gets professional help for this on an ongoing basis.

How did those children go back to school and face their peers?


----------



## SweetMamaMe (Jun 26, 2006)

I adore SuperNanny and am sad that I missed it this time. However, like one of the pp's said, it probably would have been too much to see that it would have just made me cry anyway.


----------

