# Is it illegal or dangerous to leave a kid in the car for 5 minutes?



## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

There are times when I pick my daughter up from Preschool when it's NOT HOT outside, not cold in the car, a very safe church parking lot in a tiny, safe small town that it would be so nice to leave my 2-y-o in his car seat while I run in and grab DD for a couple of minutes.

So tempting. I'd never do it if the car was likely to get hot or if there was any possibility of danger.

But would I get in trouble? Is it illegal?


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

I wouldn't do it because it takes less the 5 minutes for someone to break into a car and take something, including a child.


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

i've read so many of these types of threads, and they always become contentious (sp?). while i personally would not want to take the chance of leaving the child behind, i know from reading the other threads, that plenty of "good moms" do it, and, from the arguments that have been hashed out repeatedly, in the situation you describe, probably the biggest reason *not* to do it, is that some good intentioned person will come along and call the cops on you. and that will be a lot more inconvenience to your life, than just carrying the two year old along for a few minutes.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

It is dangerous.

There was just an article today about a child getting out of the carseat and leaving the car and getting run over, while the mother just ran back in to the house to grab something. In other cases, car jacking. In other cases, child gets out of car and disappears..or is kidnapped from car. Or he gets out of his seat and manages to put the car in motion.

In most states, it is illegal. And if other parents see it, they will likely think negative things.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Can you see your child the whole time? if not, i would NOT NOT NOT do it. Ever. The only time I leave ds in the car is when i pump gas. I will use the pump right next to the cashier's window, and even if i have to step inside for a split second to hand the cashier my money, I am within 10 steps or so of teh car the whole time. And even that makes my heart pound.

Somethine else to consider: suppose you went in to get dd and she had just fallen down and busted her lip, lengthening your time inside? Suppose her teacher needed to talk to you about something? Suppose you were in a rush and accidentally locked your keys in the car? Annoying if your kids are with you, TERRIBLE if they are locked inside the car...ask me how i know.....

i would not take the chance.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

Also, if you are in the process of adopting, just one thing on your record, or even one call from someone at the preschool to the agency, could result in the adoption being cancelled. So if you get ticketed for leaving your child in the car, then there is a high chance that your adoption could be affected.


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElliesMomma* 
in the situation you describe, probably the biggest reason *not* to do it, is that some good intentioned person will come along and call the cops on you. and that will be a lot more inconvenience to your life, than just carrying the two year old along for a few minutes.









:

I personally have no problem with leaving my 2 year old in the van while I drop off or pick up my older son from his OT appointments. During that time, I'm able to watch the van through the window, so he's never really out of my sight. I'm okay with leaving him in the van out of my sight in a residential area for a couple of minutes (like my driveway, for example). But, I'd be less comfortable leaving him in a vehicle where I couldn't see him and there's a lot of people around. More because of the risk of someone calling the cops/ CPS on me than because I really believe he's at risk of being kidnapped or something.


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## TanyaS (Jun 24, 2003)

A woman did that here recently outside a preschool and her car was stolen. The child was ok, but DHHS stepped in and removed children. I don't agree that the children should have been removed, and they were returned shortly, but it caused a major disruption in her family's life.


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Yikes! it sounds like I'd better just avoid the temptation altogether. Sigh. Whoever posted about it messing up our adoption has a very, very good point too. I would not want to do that.


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## Krystal323 (May 14, 2004)

i absoultely think it's dangerous, and it is illegal here in Texas.

...even tho i totally dislike the HUGE hassle of dragging three kids into each stop on a 6-errand journey


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

The legality of it varies by state, so you'd have to check your specific laws. While I generally don't think it's a good idea in most situations, if it's not illegal in your state, then someone could call every day and it shouldn't affect your record. However, a daycare type facility is the absolute LAST place I would ever consider doing this at. A lot of parents do this, and it's pretty common knowledge - do you (general "you") think pedophiles haven't figured this out as well? At our previous daycare which was in a decent area, a group of mom's were in the glassed in foyer for pick up. A car pulled up, a man jumped out, ran to 2 cars, opened the door to the 2nd one, grabbed the lady's purse and was back in his car and gone in less than 1 minute. The ladies were in shock, and it took them a bit to realize just what had happened. Not only did the victim lose her purse and her rent money she'd just pulled out, but her 7 yr old son sitting in the backseat ended up in therapy for over a year from that incident.

K.


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## kathrineg (Jan 28, 2009)

Someone could easily see your son, think that he was forgotten, and call the cops or worse, try to break in. That would be more likely on a hot day or in a warmer climate but it's still something to consider.


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## yasinsmama (Mar 9, 2008)

I am so paranoid about this issue. I have seen too many news stories and Oprah shows about stuff happening to kids who were left for 'just a minute'. A while back, somewhere in ?Minnesota I think, a lady left her sleeping baby in the car to go into a convenience store, and someone stole her car, with the baby in it (granted, the dummy left the car running).
Sometimes I just want a soda from the convenience store. If I really want to stop, I take ds in with me (I just take the whole carseat right now). If I don't feel like taking him in, I just don't get my soda. I live in a small, safe town, and I am still scared to just leave him in the car, even if I can keep my eyes on my car the whole time. I always think about doing something like that thinking "waht could happen in such a short amount of time", and then I snap back to reality and think that I don't want to find out what could happen, so I just stick with the safe way.


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## goodygumdrops (Jan 25, 2007)

No, I wouldn't do it.


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## CaraboosMama (Mar 31, 2005)

I wouldn't. I have this same situation (ds often falls asleep in the car on the way to pick up dd from preschool.) Her teacher walks her out to me....it doesn't hurt to ask if your teacher could do the same or if another parent could walk her out.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

No, I wouldn't. There is a lady at my son's school who leaves her newborn baby and a 2-ish year old in the car every day







This is at an elementary school in a fairly large town (Lexington, KY). She parks in the parking lot (there is NO way she can see her car from the school because the buses park between the parking lot and the school) and goes in to get her dd. The stupid thing about this situation is it's avoidable! Completely avoidable. If she pulled to the side of the building with the rest of the cars they would bring her dd out to her car- she wouldn't have to get out at all! Who knows why she chooses not to do that.

That was totally off topic, I apologize, but it's been bugging me a lot lately.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I don't personally think it's dangerous in that circumstance, however I bet someone will call the police on you and you will get in trouble, so I would recommend you don't do it anyway. I also live in a small town and I know that it is very safe here. I personally wouldn't leave my daughter in the car unless I could see the car, but that's because I'm afraid she might leave the car, not because I think someone is going to break in and take her or steal the car. There just isn't a crime issue here. Now, we are going to be moving north to the Chicago area before too long, and I will do things differently after the move because I've never heard of anyone where I live now having a car stolen, but it's not so uncommon up there.


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SunshineJ* 
The legality of it varies by state, so you'd have to check your specific laws. While I generally don't think it's a good idea in most situations, if it's not illegal in your state, then someone could call every day and it shouldn't affect your record. However, a daycare type facility is the absolute LAST place I would ever consider doing this at. A lot of parents do this, and it's pretty common knowledge - do you (general "you") think pedophiles haven't figured this out as well? At our previous daycare which was in a decent area, a group of mom's were in the glassed in foyer for pick up. A car pulled up, a man jumped out, ran to 2 cars, opened the door to the 2nd one, grabbed the lady's purse and was back in his car and gone in less than 1 minute. The ladies were in shock, and it took them a bit to realize just what had happened. Not only did the victim lose her purse and her rent money she'd just pulled out, but her 7 yr old son sitting in the backseat ended up in therapy for over a year from that incident.

K.

Wow--that EXACT same thing happened in Virginia Beach--but I see by your sig that you aren't from VA Beach--so my next thought is: wow, that's more common than I thought! It made the local news--and happened at an upscale Catholic church preschool/school. Fortunately, in the Va Beach situation, there was no child in the car that was robbed.


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## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

Not sure where you are, but it is illegal in California. Which makes paying cash for gas a pain even, you're not even supposed to run in a store with a big window where they are in view at all times. I just use the Debit card now.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

My DS's preschool has a specific policy against doing that in their handbook.


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## amma_mama (May 20, 2008)

Whether or not it is illegal, I would never do it. I understand the temptation, but it is just not worth the chance. You never know what can happen in 5 seemingly short minutes: an emergency that extends it to beyond 5 minutes, car stolen, child kidnapped, child "escapes", keys locked in car. Getting reported to thepolice or CPS would be the least of my concerns about such a situation. Even on "mild" day, a child's temperature can escalate very quickly in a closed car. Not a lesson I would want to learn the hard way.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Some years ago I responded to a horrific accident in a convenience store parking lot. A dutiful mom who didn't want to leave her child for the 3 minutes it would have taken to pay for her gas took him out of the car, into the blowing snow and toward the store. They wer crushed under a semi she didn't see because she was carrying the child through inclement weather.

Sometimes, the safer option is, in fact, to leave the child in the car if paying at the pump (for example) isn't an option.

Maybe if you live in nice moderate climates it's safer to take the child every time, but where I live, it's much safer in a hailstorm, in a blizzard, in really miserable weather, to leave my child safely in the car for those few moments.

If it's simply a matter of convenience, I'm all for takng the child- kids don't come programmed to be easy and convenient, but sometimes you have to use your judgement as a parent to make the safest choice for your child. I live in a town of about 350 people. If someone calls the Sheriff to complain that I've left my child in the car while paying for gas in the middle of a snowstorm, fine; I'll have a chat with the Sheriff, and go on about my life with no further annoyance. He might wonder why someone was such a busybody, but such is life.

Certainly, I'd make different choices if I lived in a different area, but I have to live based on where I live, and what I feel is best and safest.


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## dantesmama (May 14, 2006)

Nope, would never do it. It's just not safe. Taking kids in and out of carseats is a hassle, especially when they're sleeping, but it's nothing compared to what could happen. I don't take chances with my kids.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

In Washington State it is illegal to leave a child under 16 in a car with the motor running (RCW 46.61.685) or at all to enter a place where liquor is sold (which would include grocery stores and gas stations I'd assume - RCW 9.91.060). I have actually heard the latter RCW used to persecute parents who leave children unattended in cars for other purposes as well.


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## ginadc (Jun 13, 2006)

I wouldn't. I would never leave my children in the car without me unless it was for literally just a minute and I could see them at all times. I've actually only ever done it once, when my son was finally asleep (he's a horrible catnapper) in a nasty NJ winter, and I was running into the dry cleaner. They have a huge plate glass window and I was parked right in front, they know me so they had my clothes very quickly, so I was in and out in less than two minutes. I was still very anxious about it.

Would never do it if I had to be out of immediate eyesight of the car.


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## leezann (Dec 2, 2008)

Even if you can see the car at all times, what are you going to do if you see someone get into your car and drive off? Can you keep up with a moving car? I bring both children in where ever I go, I know it is a pain but I figure I have no choice but to keep them safe. Against the law or not. . . don't take any chances because you never know what could happen in a split second!


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## MidnightCommando (May 31, 2006)

I do it but only if I'm driving our truck, which I can lock when it's running (keypad entry) and I can visibly see my vehicle. I won't do it when driving our other car though


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Maybe if you live in nice moderate climates it's safer to take the child every time, but where I live, it's much safer in a hailstorm, in a blizzard, in really miserable weather, to leave my child safely in the car for those few moments.









:

-20F, child doesn't have a coat on because they're in a car seat, no room to get the coat on them in tiny car so you'd have to do it outside...if I have to run inside to pay for gas, you better believe I'm leaving the child in the warm car while I do it.

And I'm not worried about gangs of roving pedophiles and baby-snatchers crouched behind the gas pumps.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *leezann* 
Even if you can see the car at all times, what are you going to do if you see someone get into your car and drive off? Can you keep up with a moving car? I bring both children in where ever I go, I know it is a pain but I figure I have no choice but to keep them safe. Against the law or not. . . don't take any chances because you never know what could happen in a split second!

The chances of someone breaking into my locked car with no keys in it and driving off as I watch from an ATM vestibule are ridiculously slim. The chances of my kids getting killed by a car walking with me in the parking lot are greater.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

This reminds me of what happened to me once-though different to your situation(sorry if i divulge a little) I had my toddler and baby in a double stroller. The baby was asleep. I had to pick up lunch from a restaurant, and just had to go in and pay. The stroller didnt fit through the door. I could see the stroller through the window. So i went in, and paid and got the lunch. In that one minute, the baby woke up and started crying. Some woman came in and said-'whose this baby? '

I was coming out anyway. I just said'its my baby'. And went out.

Then she said something rude to me, and went off..... (i think its was-just thought you needed some reminding that it was your baby')

Anyway, slightly different subject, but i did the right thing. I didnt need the insult....

However, i wouldnt leave a baby in a car where i couldnt see him/her, and not unless it was truly under one minute....


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## AniellasMommy (Aug 4, 2006)

Soooooo tempting, but sooo not safe!! Like others have said, it only takes a few seconds for someone horrible to come along or something horrible to happen.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

The only time I'm okay with leaving a child under the age of 11 alone in a car is when it is visible at all times, you are not very far away, and it's not extremely hot or cold out. The only time I have personally done it is to pay for gas when it is not possible to pay at the pump. Each time, I was only gone for about 1-2 minutes, the car was visible to me at all times, and the doors were locked. Even then I hated doing it.


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
The chances of someone breaking into my locked car with no keys in it and driving off as I watch from an ATM vestibule are ridiculously slim. The chances of my kids getting killed by a car walking with me in the parking lot are greater.









:
I can't leave my ds alone in the car unless I still have a clear view of him.


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

I'm not sure about legalities, but I wouldn't do it. There are times when i'll leave ds in the car for a minute or two but only if I'm close and can see him at all times (ex: running in to give a cashier cash for gas, running in to my apartment to grab something I forgot, dropping a movie into a drop box, etc). I know a lot of people that would report something like this if they saw it, especially if they don't know you will be back so soon. I know it's tempting and convenient but I really would not take that chance.


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## angie7 (Apr 23, 2007)

I have left my kids in the car just to drop off a movie rental (in those little boxes outside of the store) but that's about as far as I would go. I would never leave my child in a car out of my sight, even for a minute. You never know what could happen. I know of a woman where I live, left her 3 y/o in the car that she thought was sleeping to go pay for gas. When she got back the child was gone. Luckily she was found safe and just wandered off. I remind myself of that story when I think "it will only be for a minute". And yes, she did get in trouble with the law for it and CPS was involved.


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## lerlerler (Mar 31, 2004)

Try for another solution!

We are generally walking to school but on occassion if we are headed somewhere else and drive, I put a trusted friend/parent on my pick-up list and if I see them going in yell" can you sign her out"? I know, not do-able EVERY day

I complained about the hassle of schlepping kids out of the car to my drycleaner.

His reply? Call from the car, I'll run your stuff out.

You can make it work


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## misswerewolf (May 7, 2008)

This is one of those controversial issues.









I'll say this: the legality varies by state, and the parent should do what is best in that situation.

Okay, I'll also say this: in a split second, ANYTHING can happen. Pedophiles can pop out of nowhere and steal your child. Lightning can strike. A blizzard prevents a truck-driver from seeing you and your child at the gas station and accidentally run you and your child over.


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## misswerewolf (May 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *contactmaya* 
This reminds me of what happened to me once-though different to your situation(sorry if i divulge a little) I had my toddler and baby in a double stroller. The baby was asleep. I had to pick up lunch from a restaurant, and just had to go in and pay. The stroller didnt fit through the door. I could see the stroller through the window. So i went in, and paid and got the lunch. In that one minute, the baby woke up and started crying. Some woman came in and said-'whose this baby? '

I was coming out anyway. I just said'its my baby'. And went out.

Then she said something rude to me, and went off..... (i think its was-just thought you needed some reminding that it was your baby')

Anyway, slightly different subject, but i did the right thing. I didnt need the insult....

However, i wouldnt leave a baby in a car where i couldnt see him/her, and not unless it was truly under one minute....

In Denmark, I think, it's fairly common and acceptable to leave the baby outside in the stroller.


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## 3pink1blue (Jun 23, 2008)

i leave them if my 7 yr old is in the car and i can lock it, like if i need to run to an atm. never more than a minute and my oldest has to be there, because she's the only one savvy enough to honk the horn or otherwise freak out if someone approached the car.

oh i have left the baby in the car while i run back in for my phone or something, but i live in the country waaaay off the road. i'd never do that in a neighborhood.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DahliaRW* 
In Washington State it is illegal to leave a child under 16 in a car with the motor running (RCW 46.61.685) or at all to enter a place where liquor is sold (which would include grocery stores and gas stations I'd assume - RCW 9.91.060). I have actually heard the latter RCW used to persecute parents who leave children unattended in cars for other purposes as well.

Wow, that's nuts! If my kids are too stupid to be left alone in a car by the time they're 15, I'm not sure I'm taking them out of the house anymore...


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

yeah OP i saw the affecting your adoption answer - and felt a big no no for you and then i see ur reply and you decided against it. so true!!! not worth it.


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## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Just as a commentary... it's too bad we have come to this. That we can't trust people around us for two minutes, that people can't trust us to do what is best for our children.

In a small, safe town like mine, 50 years ago people could leave their kids in the car when they ran into the grocery store. The neighbors would help keep an eye on them. Nowadays everyone is so suspicious and there are so many laws. It's sad.

After reading all of your posts, though, I'd be too freaked out to even be tempted to leave him in the car! Not just CPS (we know them pretty well by now with all of the foster and adoption stuff) but the child-snatchers or people calling the cops. Too weird. I guess I'll keep shlepping him in an out with me to get her. Once we get the new baby I'll have two of them to haul back and forth. Such fun.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

I think much of your outlook on this issue will hinge on where you live. It's very easy to paint this as a black and white issue, and to feel superior ('I don't take chances with *my* kids') but really, it's never that easy.


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## mamarootoo (Sep 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElliesMomma* 
*i've read so many of these types of threads, and they always become contentious (sp?). while i personally would not want to take the chance of leaving the child behind, i know from reading the other threads, that plenty of "good moms" do it*, and, from the arguments that have been hashed out repeatedly, in the situation you describe, probably the biggest reason *not* to do it, is that some good intentioned person will come along and call the cops on you. and that will be a lot more inconvenience to your life, than just carrying the two year old along for a few minutes.

(bolding mine)

ElliesMomma, you're psychic









i really do think this post says it all, though!


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

I wouldn't do it, in my area a mother went in to pay for her gas, all the while watching her van. She still wasn't fast enough to stop a guy from breaking in and taking off with her 22 month old...this is in -30 weather (-15 for Americans). He finally dropped the kid off OUTSIDE at a shopping centre...NICE eh?

Don't chance it, just my opinion...


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## ginadc (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:

Only a MORON Would leave a child alone in a car for any amount of time
Wow. That's respectful. So at least half a dozen of us on this thread are MORONS, then.

Might I suggest that you could make your point less rudely?


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *misswerewolf* 
In Denmark, I think, it's fairly common and acceptable to leave the baby outside in the stroller.

Thanks. I didnt want to wake the baby. If he had have been awake, then i would have just taken him in with me. He did wake up unexpectedly. Im with my baby 24/7, he and my 3 year old are the centre of my life. This total stranger insulted me, by saying 'just thought i'd remind you that its your baby'...

I mean, i was livid.

Why is it that being a parent gives other people licence to insult you?

As parents we have to make decisions. We know our chuldren best, and the situation best and have to make risk assessments all the time. This discussion about the car is a case in point.

(for me, as long as my kids are in sight, its ok)

Who are these people kidnapping children anyway?


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Just popping back in to say that although I'll leave the kids in the car while I go to the ATM (about 5 steps from the car), the OP's question was specifically about leaving kids in the car in a preschool parking lot. Those of you who have said that you leave your kids in the car have mostly talked about other situations (gas stations, ATMs, etc.), but would you also leave your kids in the car at a preschool?

I'm just asking because going to get your kid from hir classroom typically takes you out of sight of your vehicle, and there's more opportunity for it to take longer if the teacher needs to talk to you for a moment, or if your DC takes a long time to gather hir things, put on a coat, or whatever. Leaving your kids while you step across a sidewalk to drop a DVD in the slot at Blockbuster and leaving them in a preschool parking lot are two totally different things, IMO.

My general rule of thumb is that if the car is fully in my view the entire time and my task will take less time than getting the kids out of the car would, then I feel comfortable leaving them. Preschool doesn't fit either of those criteria, so because of that (and because the school's handbook expressly forbids leaving siblings in the car for liability reasons) I take my DD in with me every time.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Whistler* 
In a small, safe town like mine, 50 years ago people could leave their kids in the car when they ran into the grocery store. The neighbors would help keep an eye on them. Nowadays everyone is so suspicious and there are so many laws. It's sad.

Not just 50 years ago. My parents used to leave us in the car (We lived in Colorado so it was easier to leave us there than worry about getting to kids through the snow for a short trip) We knew not to mess with anything but the radio... and honestly, it never crossed our minds. Looking back I don't think my parents were "bad parents" or anything. I can especially understand my mom leaving us for short trips when it was just her running errands. *shrugs* different times I guess?


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## Heidi74 (Jan 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *misswerewolf* 
In Denmark, I think, it's fairly common and acceptable to leave the baby outside in the stroller.

The same is actually true for most of Europe. Of course, people need to use discretion and consider the place. A friend and I used to have coffee once a week at a cafe in Germany. We would leave our bundled up, sleeping babies in their strollers right outside the window and sit at the table closest to the window. We just took turns watching while we ordered, so they were in sight. That just made more sense than wheeling two winter-clad sleeping babies into a noisy, hot cafe where the strollers would take up a lot of space and the babies would surely wake up. In Norway, I occasionally left him outside to run into the library to return books, etc...and he would always sleep outside on the porch for his naps.

The key I think is to consider the surroundings. Sadly, child abductions are so much more common here in the US. Here I would never do it.


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

There are two risks. One is the risk that the child may be harmed in some way. The other risk, which is almost as significant, and which may be more likely to occur, is that somebody may report you for leaving your child unattended. As far as I am concerned, I'm not willing to take either risk.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
Just popping back in to say that although I'll leave the kids in the car while I go to the ATM (about 5 steps from the car), the OP's question was specifically about leaving kids in the car in a preschool parking lot. Those of you who have said that you leave your kids in the car have mostly talked about other situations (gas stations, ATMs, etc.), but would you also leave your kids in the car at a preschool?

I'm just asking because going to get your kid from hir classroom typically takes you out of sight of your vehicle, and there's more opportunity for it to take longer if the teacher needs to talk to you for a moment, or if your DC takes a long time to gather hir things, put on a coat, or whatever. Leaving your kids while you step across a sidewalk to drop a DVD in the slot at Blockbuster and leaving them in a preschool parking lot are two totally different things, IMO.

My general rule of thumb is that if the car is fully in my view the entire time and my task will take less time than getting the kids out of the car would, then I feel comfortable leaving them. Preschool doesn't fit either of those criteria, so because of that (and because the school's handbook expressly forbids leaving siblings in the car for liability reasons) I take my DD in with me every time.

I'm the one who brought up the ATM, and as I said at that time, I wouldn't do it if I couldn't see them, but only in my case because I'm afraid my 7-year-old would get out of the car. In my town, I don't see the pedophile car-thief who can quickly break into a locked car and hotwire it being a realistic threat. I will be moving to the Chicago area soon, though, and I see that as a different situation. But because someone will call the cops, it's a bad idea regardless. I really don't see why this is painted as such a dangerous thing, though. There really aren't that many pedophiles out there who attack random kids. It's incredibly unlikely, and the parking lot is a bigger danger. Most pedophiles attack kids they know. The car thief issue might be a bigger risk depending on where you live.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

I think it's a mistake to describe leaving a kid alone in a car for 5 minutes as "dangerous"' just because there are some very bad things that could _possibly_ happen. It makes just as much sense to say that owning a pet, living in a 2-story house, or sending your kid to school are dangerous, since kids do sometimes get killed when the family pet attacks, or when they fall down the stairs or out a window, or when someone goes on a rampage at a school with a gun. Driving your kid somewhere in a car must surely be a more risky activity than leaving the child sitting in a locked car for a few minutes, but people don't normally call car trips "dangerous."


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## tallulahma (Jun 16, 2006)

as a person who has been abducted, i vote never.

my dads best friend kidnapped me from the playground and my teacher was less than 10 feet from me. she was in shock. could not move.

different scenario, but being that i remember people staring at me as i screamed for help & no one moved??? I am ''**too aware** that things can happen SO FAST that you just can not react fast enough.

so i would never. ever. leave my kids in the car.


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## lajn (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette* 
Wow, that's nuts! If my kids are too stupid to be left alone in a car by the time they're 15, I'm not sure I'm taking them out of the house anymore...


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## mamadebug (Dec 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heidi74* 
The same is actually true for most of Europe. Of course, people need to use discretion and consider the place. A friend and I used to have coffee once a week at a cafe in Germany. We would leave our bundled up, sleeping babies in their strollers right outside the window and sit at the table closest to the window. We just took turns watching while we ordered, so they were in sight. That just made more sense than wheeling two winter-clad sleeping babies into a noisy, hot cafe where the strollers would take up a lot of space and the babies would surely wake up. In Norway, I occasionally left him outside to run into the library to return books, etc...and he would always sleep outside on the porch for his naps.

The key I think is to consider the surroundings. Sadly, child abductions are so much more common here in the US. Here I would never do it.


I completely agree with this. I studied abroad in Spain when I was in college (15 years ago), and it was really common for people to park their strollers, with the baby in it, outside the store or place of business and go in and do what needed to be done. Sometimes you would see two or three all side by side. Coming from the US, it was surprising to me. When I was last there about 5 years ago, I rarely saw it. I have a couple of friends from Spain and both of them remember their moms leaving them in the stroller outside stores even up to preschool age (30+ years ago).

I have a good friend form Germany who used to leave her baby sleeping in the car while she did errands. She was shocked when we told her she could get in huge trouble for doing that. She also remembers being left outside stores, in a buggy or stroller, and so thought she was being much safer by leaving them in a locked car.

I think the acceptability of it varies by culture. I would say it is not accepted here, and the ramifications of doing it make it not worth it.


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## bramblevine (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StephandOwen* 
That was totally off topic, I apologize, but it's been bugging me a lot lately.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
They wer crushed under a semi she didn't see because she was carrying the child through inclement weather.

That story is just tragic. But sounds to me like much more of a freak event then some of the more common sad stories we hear from leaving a baby in the car.

Also, I do and have lived in very cold climates, and still never opt to leave my kids in the car. That's just life where it's cold.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *dantesmama* 
I don't take chances with my kids.


Exactly. It sounds so harsh and judgmental, and holier than thou, but those are the words that truly express my feeling on the topic. Of course we *do* take chances with our kids everyday. The wording can be picked apart to no end, and rightfully so. But if it can be avoided, I don't take the chance. Pretty simple.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jivey* 
My older sister's child. my god son and my step son go to the same private school. I pulled in the parking lot to pick up my step son and i seen my sis car i pulled up and could not believe. the car was running
and my niece 14 month old was in her car seat. I took my niece out of her seat and went in to get my step son. Avoiding my sister and when i came out. there was a swarm of people around her and she was screaming and crying. My baby my baby. I went over to her w/ my niece in arm and she was pissed at me. calling me every name in the book. I said see how easy it is for someone to snatch your child. Your dam lucky it was me and the next time. I see her alone in a car. I call the cops and family services. later on that night see called me bawling her eyes out. saying see was sorry and will never do it again. We had an amber alert that afternoon and a 2yr old little girl was snatch from her dad's car while he shopped in Wal-Mart. they found the little girl 3 days later dead.


I'm torn between applauding you for getting through to her, and abusing you for doing such an awful thing to another mother







. That poor little 2 year old girl. Those stories are just awful. I can't believe people still leave their kids in the car to go shopping after hearing such things







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *misswerewolf* 
In Denmark, I think, it's fairly common and acceptable to leave the baby outside in the stroller.

Wow. How interesting. I need to travel more.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette* 
Wow, that's nuts! If my kids are too stupid to be left alone in a car by the time they're 15, I'm not sure I'm taking them out of the house anymore...

















:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Swan3* 
I wouldn't do it, in my area a mother went in to pay for her gas, all the while watching her van. She still wasn't fast enough to stop a guy from breaking in and taking off with her 22 month old...this is in -30 weather (-15 for Americans). He finally dropped the kid off OUTSIDE at a shopping centre...NICE eh?

Don't chance it, just my opinion...

I knew it! I feel so validated. That poor baby though. 22 months is still just a baby. Just gives me chills.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heidi74* 
The same is actually true for most of Europe. Of course, people need to use discretion and consider the place. A friend and I used to have coffee once a week at a cafe in Germany. We would leave our bundled up, sleeping babies in their strollers right outside the window and sit at the table closest to the window. We just took turns watching while we ordered, so they were in sight. That just made more sense than wheeling two winter-clad sleeping babies into a noisy, hot cafe where the strollers would take up a lot of space and the babies would surely wake up. In Norway, I occasionally left him outside to run into the library to return books, etc...and he would always sleep outside on the porch for his naps.

The key I think is to consider the surroundings. Sadly, child abductions are so much more common here in the US. Here I would never do it.

Wow. I had no idea. Very interesting.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tallulahma* 
i remember people staring at me as i screamed for help & no one moved??? I am ''**too aware** that things can happen SO FAST that you just can not react fast enough.


I know. It is entirely too scary how people can freeze in these situations.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamadebug* 
I completely agree with this. I studied abroad in Spain when I was in college (15 years ago), and it was really common for people to park their strollers, with the baby in it, outside the store or place of business and go in and do what needed to be done. Sometimes you would see two or three all side by side. Coming from the US, it was surprising to me. When I was last there about 5 years ago, I rarely saw it. I have a couple of friends from Spain and both of them remember their moms leaving them in the stroller outside stores even up to preschool age (30+ years ago).

I have a good friend form Germany who used to leave her baby sleeping in the car while she did errands. She was shocked when we told her she could get in huge trouble for doing that. She also remembers being left outside stores, in a buggy or stroller, and so thought she was being much safer by leaving them in a locked car.

This is just so interesting. So is there truly less child crime happening over there? Or does the news over there simply not harp on these tragic stories for weeks at a time? I find it so interesting that doing this is just natural and common in Europe. Do they all think we Americans are terribly uptight about our kids?


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## mamadebug (Dec 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bramblevine* 
Do they all think we Americans are terribly uptight about our kids?[/FONT][/COLOR]

















In my experience, they pretty much think we are uptight on most things, not just our kids.

Not sure if there is less crime or they just don't hear about it in the media. No one had the horrible stories that you hear over here, though.


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## AstridS (Mar 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bramblevine* 
This is just so interesting. So is there truly less child crime happning over there? Or does the news over there simply not harp on these tragic stories for weeks at a time? I find it so interesting that doing this is just natural and common in Europe. Do they all think we Americans are terribly uptight about our kids?









No. We don't think you're uptight. You are just living in a much more violent (and maybe more paranoid) culture.
Also, we generally have wireless babymonitors in the pram when we leave our babies outside to sleep, so we can hear when they wake up. So we will hear if someone is approaching the pram and unbuckling the babyharness. And the monitor will sound an alarm if the two units are more than 25 metres apart, so if someone tries to take off with the pram with the baby in it we'll hear it too.
I never leave my babies in the car anywhere but in my own driveway. I'm afraid the car will be run into or something. But I'm not afraid of kidnappers or well meaning strangers calling the authorities. I know that won't happen. Not because strangers don't care about the safety of babies, but because it is generally considered safe to leave a sleeping baby in a car for a few minutes.


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## i*wish (May 4, 2004)

I'm a mom who has left my babe to run in where i can see the car the whole time...BUT I have to share a horror story (of course).

Recently in our town a mom left her kid in the car for a minute when she ran to drop a video in the slot... when she was running back across the parking lot aisle she was hit by a car. Her child was about three years old and SAW THE WHOLE thing.... The mom lost consciousness briefly but was in and out for the most part...the ambulance came and she could see her daughter watching, screaming and crying in the car but she COULD NOT COMMUNICATE to the EMTs that she had a child in the car! She finally got it out and they called her spouse to come for the child but this woman was almost taken to the ER with her child left behind in the car....!
The woman was ok for the most part but mentally she is totally messed up from seeing her child like that and ALSO the child is in counseling for what she witnessed....
food for thought.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

I would personally never feel safe to leave my child alone in a car. We live in a pretty rural - everyone knows your name type of area as well. There are just too many 'what if's'. Though rare, bad things still do happen. And my son is pretty free-range. ...But a lot of those 'what if's' - invovle my son strapped and secure in his car seat (5 point harness) which he is unable to get out of, so even his free-range childhood self wouldn't be able to react appropriatly in some of those 'what if's' situations where he would otherwise be fine (such as playing outside in the garden).


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *i*wish* 
I'm a mom who has left my babe to run in where i can see the car the whole time...BUT I have to share a horror story (of course).

Recently in our town a mom left her kid in the car for a minute when she ran to drop a video in the slot... when she was running back across the parking lot aisle she was hit by a car. Her child was about three years old and SAW THE WHOLE thing.... The mom lost consciousness briefly but was in and out for the most part...the ambulance came and she could see her daughter watching, screaming and crying in the car but she COULD NOT COMMUNICATE to the EMTs that she had a child in the car! She finally got it out and they called her spouse to come for the child but this woman was almost taken to the ER with her child left behind in the car....!
The woman was ok for the most part but mentally she is totally messed up from seeing her child like that and ALSO the child is in counseling for what she witnessed....
food for thought.

Wouldn't the kid have been hit by the car too if they'd both gone? It would have been a bad situation either way.


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## i*wish (May 4, 2004)

you're right mamazee... never thought about that! we'll never know... just thinking about it, though, i bet she was preoccupied with getting back to the car and her child and that's why she wasn't paying attention and got hit (i'm not speculating about the 'not paying attention part' ...she was definitely not paying attention for fact-- neither was the driver--)

it's never a good idea to share a horror story now is it!


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

I wouldn't do it.

what I have done is DH and I went to lunch once. we parked literally in front of the outside table we were sitting at so the car was facing us, with the windows down and my baby sleeping in the carseat in the back.

another time we parked in front of a picnic table. the distance between us and baby would be comparable to going camping and having baby in the tent. it was one of those restaurants where they have tables on the side walk in front of the restaunt and the parking spaces are right in front of the sidewalk.
face the sidewalk.

I would never leave a child unattended for ANY amount of time in a car or otherwise though.


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## chipper26 (Sep 4, 2008)

When my child is out in public, she is never out of my sight.


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## bramblevine (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AstridS* 
No. We don't think you're uptight. You are just living in a much more violent (and maybe more paranoid) culture.
Also, we generally have wireless babymonitors in the pram when we leave our babies outside to sleep, so we can hear when they wake up. So we will hear if someone is approaching the pram and unbuckling the babyharness. And the monitor will sound an alarm if the two units are more than 25 metres apart, so if someone tries to take off with the pram with the baby in it we'll hear it too.
I never leave my babies in the car anywhere but in my own driveway. I'm afraid the car will be run into or something. But I'm not afraid of kidnappers or well meaning strangers calling the authorities. I know that won't happen. Not because strangers don't care about the safety of babies, but because it is generally considered safe to leave a sleeping baby in a car for a few minutes.

Wow! That is fascinating! I had no idea such a thing existed.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
Wouldn't the kid have been hit by the car too if they'd both gone? It would have been a bad situation either way.

You don't know that. It takes longer for mom to get herself and a three year old out of the car which means she could have been crossing the street back too late to be hit by the car.

Every choice we makes affects the future.


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## Romana (Mar 3, 2006)

Someone might call the police if they see the kid alone in the car and no one around. In some places it's illegal, but that would be a local or state law and not the same everywhere.

Depending on what kind of car you have, it could be very dangerous. My 2 year old is adept at getting out of her carseat when she wants to. One of our cars does not lock the shifter in place (it's a less expensive car, so it doesn't have that safety feature). You can move it to neutral without pressing the brake down. That means that a 2 year old could be in a moving vehicle, rolling into the street, a lake, whatever. My daughter could do it in 30 seconds if she felt like it.

For that and other reasons, I consider it too dangerous to ever leave a kid in the car unattended. I also think that if it becomes a habit, it becomes much easier to forget the child is even in the car, and then tragedy is more likely.

The only time a child is left in the car is if we're in the driveway and bringing groceries in. The car is in sight at all times and the time of absence can be counted in seconds.


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## foreverinbluejeans (Jun 21, 2004)

They just passed a law in a community where I live that it would be illegal to leave your child in the car even if you were in plain view of the car, even just a few feet away. They were saying on the news that if you pulled up to the mailbox and couldn't reach it and got out of the car just to stand up so you could reach it would be in violation of the law.

When my oldest was a baby he would never nap except in my arms or his car seat. If you tried to pick up the car seat he would wake up. I would go shopping in the afternoon and get food for supper and he would fall asleep on the way home. I would pull up under the carport and the side house door opened to the kitchen. I would leave the car window down some and the house door open and fix dinner. I was within 15 feet of him at all times. That would be illegal under this new law. Even if you are on your own property you can't leave the baby in the car.


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *foreverinbluejeans* 
They just passed a law in a community where I live that it would be illegal to leave your child in the car even if you were in plain view of the car, even just a few feet away. They were saying on the news that if you pulled up to the mailbox and couldn't reach it and got out of the car just to stand up so you could reach it would be in violation of the law.

When my oldest was a baby he would never nap except in my arms or his car seat. If you tried to pick up the car seat he would wake up. I would go shopping in the afternoon and get food for supper and he would fall asleep on the way home. I would pull up under the carport and the side house door opened to the kitchen. I would leave the car window down some and the house door open and fix dinner. I was within 15 feet of him at all times. That would be illegal under this new law. Even if you are on your own property you can't leave the baby in the car.


that is a bit excessive. that means if you got out of your seat to get your baby out of theoir seat you would be in violation of the law. it would take the same amount of time to open your door and stand up to grab the mail as it would to open up your door and stand up to get the child out of the car...


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

i don't get the arguement of child abduction being rare. it may be rare, but its possible, and its a risk we dont HAVE to take, so why take it?

I also agree things like carrying in groceries, using the ATM, dropping off a video, checking your mail - all things with your child in sight the whole time - it different then running into a store or preschool for a few minutes, with child out of sight.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
You don't know that. It takes longer for mom to get herself and a three year old out of the car which means she could have been crossing the street back too late to be hit by the car.

Every choice we makes affects the future.

What absolutely would have happened isn't the point. The point is that the parking lot isn't necessarily safer than the car.


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

which is safer the parking lot of the car? indetermindable.
which is safer - a child unattended in public or a child within sight of parent/caregiver in public? child attended of course.

those are 2 seperate risk factors.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super Glue Mommy* 
which is safer the parking lot of the car? indetermindable.
which is safer - a child unattended in public or a child within sight of parent/caregiver in public? child attended of course.

those are 2 seperate risk factors.

I agree that they are different issues, and like I said I personally don't leave my child in the car unless I can see her, although really it's because I'm afraid she might get out of the car and walk in the parking lot. I see parking lots as pretty significant threats. There are so few child abductions I don't see that as a realistic threat worthy of my worry, and this area has no real threat of car theft either.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

I will never do it again. I left my then ten year old son in the passenger's seat for what I thought would be ducking into the store for five minutes. It took longer than I expected, but I wasn't worried because he was a BIG kid, and if he got too hot, he could always get out of the car, couldn't he?

He could have but he didn't. I told him to wait in the car and he didn't want to disobey me.

He was okay, just a bit groggy and not himself for a few minutes after I got back, but I still haven't forgiven myself after seven years. He's not even a particularly obedient kid.


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## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

Personally I wouldn't do it, not with the age of my kids. I understand how tempting it is, but 5 minutes is especially too long imo. I pay at the pump when getting gas, so the kids are right there in the car next to me. I think it also depends were you live.


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## MomOnDaEdge (Nov 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette* 
Wow, that's nuts! If my kids are too stupid to be left alone in a car by the time they're 15, I'm not sure I'm taking them out of the house anymore...
























:

You owe me a new keyboard!



ginadc said:


> Wow. That's respectful. So at least half a dozen of us on this thread are MORONS, then.
> QUOTE]
> 
> 
> ...


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## crunchymamatobe (Jul 8, 2004)

We don't drive, but I do leave my two year old buckled into his bike trailer outside the front door to our appartment building if I have to run back in to get something. If he happens to be asleep when we come home, I leave him sleeping and go ahead and unlock/open the doors and then bring him inside.

We have some friends (who are Dutch, incidentally) who will leave their baby asleep in the bike trailer outside while they go inside a shop or, the last time I saw this happen, a museum. They took turns going out to check on her every 10 minutes or so, but the whole thing made me really uncomfortable.


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## mamatoady (Mar 16, 2004)

In the scenerio you describe my answer is no. I leave my kids in a locked car to run into a gas station and pay for my gas, assuming there are windows to see my kids...maybe I'm paranoid, but that's the only time I do it. I think if you can't see your kids you shouldn't be leaving them in there.

Although I remember going places with my dad where he'd run into a store for a second and leave me and bro in the truck with the truck running. We were elementary school, but still not safe.

sarah


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
I agree that they are different issues, and like I said I personally don't leave my child in the car unless I can see her, although really it's because I'm afraid she might get out of the car and walk in the parking lot. I see parking lots as pretty significant threats. There are so few child abductions I don't see that as a realistic threat worthy of my worry, and this area has no real threat of car theft either.

I see all the the things you mentioned as threats, and as you said, some are worse then others. the parking lot being more dangerous then the people in it. but the reality is, child abduction is still a threat, even if its a very very small one. its still _possible_. and its one of the things that is much less possible if child is in your sight then if child is not in your sight. so that's how I assess risk. while something may not be VERY dangerous, it can still be MORE dangerous (even if only a little) then my other options. KWIM? I agree with you though, the other things you mentioned would be my bigger concerns as well.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super Glue Mommy* 
I see all the the things you mentioned as threats, and as you said, some are worse then others. the parking lot being more dangerous then the people in it. but the reality is, child abduction is still a threat, even if its a very very small one. its still _possible_. and its one of the things that is much less possible if child is in your sight then if child is not in your sight. so that's how I assess risk. while something may not be VERY dangerous, it can still be MORE dangerous (even if only a little) then my other options. KWIM? I agree with you though, the other things you mentioned would be my bigger concerns as well.









If you have two choices, walking your child through the parking lot or leaving them in the car, then the risk assessment isn't both or neither, it's one or the other.

I really do think in many cases, walking the child through the parking lot is a greater risk than the other. Especially in the winter. But there are so many more parking lot accidents than strangers who take children out of cars that it seems like if we looked at this objectively it would be obvious which would be safest. The only reason the predator risk seems big is because the few times it does happen, it's on the news for weeks straight, and kids get hit in parking lots often enough that it isn't even a news story so we don't hear about it.


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## i*wish (May 4, 2004)

If we're talking about abduction as the risk then I wouldn't have my child out of arm's reach... Someone could snatch your kid very easily while you watch through the gas station window...Then what?
When I drop off/pick up at preschool, if I really don't want to take the baby (e.g. she's sleeping), I ask one of the other mom's to keep an eye while I run in...usually by the time they're done buckling their child(ren), I'm back! Maybe that would work, OP?


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Well, it is generally illegal, so it that worries you then you probably shouldn't do it.

Also if you are asking opinions on this then you are bound to get to hear all of the worst. I've never seen any other thread on this discussion go the other way.

You will have to evaluate the situation and make your own decision. Then you have to feel strongly enough about it to live with the risks.

It also may depend on your children.

The fact of the matter is we all could be abducted, tortured and killed at any moment but here we are.... I don't think scare tactics and 'have you heard this story...' have ever helped me be a better parent.

But I do my own thing, so I might be different.

Personally, I do leave my kids in the car sometimes. They are secure, I don't leave the car running or even unlocked, I do not do it when it's extremely hot or cold (duh) and I usually can pretty much maintain the sight of the car.

If it were me, and I was out of sight of the car for awhile and knew I might end up chatting, I'd bring in the sibling. But, if pick up time was pretty fast and the sibling was sleeping (and I felt pretty confident he/she would stay alseep) I'd leave them wait.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:

If we're talking about abduction as the risk then I wouldn't have my child out of arm's reach... Someone could snatch your kid very easily while you watch through the gas station window...Then what?
No, they could not. Not if your car doors are locked with the alarm set. How long do you think it takes to run / sprint 10 feet when you see someone trying to break into your car to kidnap your child? How many abductors are going to continue to try to get into your car, in public, with the alarm going off?

As for what the OP does, there is no way I could leave my child in a car out of my sight.


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## Super Glue Mommy (Jan 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
If you have two choices, walking your child through the parking lot or leaving them in the car, then the risk assessment isn't both or neither, it's one or the other.

I really do think in many cases, walking the child through the parking lot is a greater risk than the other. Especially in the winter. But there are so many more parking lot accidents than strangers who take children out of cars that it seems like if we looked at this objectively it would be obvious which would be safest. The only reason the predator risk seems big is because the few times it does happen, it's on the news for weeks straight, and kids get hit in parking lots often enough that it isn't even a news story so we don't hear about it.

i think the predator issue seems big because even if it only happens once a month (that's about how often it happens at minimum where I live) while that is still not a lot in the scheme of things, its a big issue because of what it means not because of how long they talk about it on the news.

I feel that a child is safer WITH me in a parking lot then alone and out of sight in the car. because *I* know how to be safe in a parking lot - that is not including some bizarre freak accident such as a car flipping onto you - or one the other end of things some freak accident like your car exploding while you are in the store. however, as you can tell by my first post in this thread, the issue is separate of leaving the child in the car while you are still watching them.


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## i*wish (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amylcd* 
No, they could not. Not if your car doors are locked with the alarm set. How long do you think it takes to run / sprint 10 feet when you see someone trying to break into your car to kidnap your child? How many abductors are going to continue to try to get into your car, in public, with the alarm going off?

Personally, I believe it *could* happen but we're talking about excruciatingly rare situations....I don't doubt too much in this world.

That said I completely agree with this...

Quote:


Originally Posted by *midwestmeg* 
The fact of the matter is we all could be abducted, tortured and killed at any moment but here we are.... I don't think scare tactics and 'have you heard this story...' have ever helped me be a better parent.

...even though I shared the horror story. I just can't even believe that happened to someone I know! But, like I originally said, it hasn't deterred me from occasionally leaving my kids in the car...I just use my best common sense and *I* think I'm a reasonably cautious and smart woman.


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## Amila (Apr 4, 2006)

The only time I *ever* leave kids in the car is if I am pulling right up to the place, can see them the whole time, am only going to be a second, and I ALWAYS lock the door. (like to pick up dry cleaning, for example. My car is like 6 feet away.


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## mamaUK (Jul 9, 2008)

NO, I'm bein honest, I would never ever do it. The first thing that enters my head is 'kidnapping'


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## Brismom (Feb 18, 2009)

It only takes a few minutes for something to happen that you could end up regretting for the rest of your life.







:

http://www.briannasbeddingandbeyond....lsbedding.html


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## ginadc (Jun 13, 2006)

How about this: it's winter, you've bundled up the kids and gotten them into their car seats to go to day care/preschool/school and you realize that you've forgotten something in the house that you *must* bring with you. (Somebody's lunch, the tuition check due that day, fresh diapers, nap blanket, etc.) Would you honestly unbuckle both kids, take them out of the car, bring them back inside while you grab the lunch/diapers and take them back out again?

I'm a bit scattered in the mornings, and I have more than once realized that I need something from inside for school. I lock the car, run inside, and run right back out. That is technically "leaving them unattended," but I don't think it's irresponsible. (But then, I'm a MORON.)


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

I have a 6 year old with special needs and an active 2 year old. There are times (sometimes multiple times a week) when my DS1 is having a meltdown and I need to get both kids in the van. I don't think it's safe to try to carry a screaming, kicking, hitting, 4ft, 55lb 6 year old and a squirming, trying-to-escape 30+lb 2 year old through a parking lot and then struggle to get them both safely in their seats without letting either escape. Since I'm rarely in a position where I can leave the 2 year old while I carry out the 6 year old, I carry the 2 year old out first. I lock him in his carseat (which he can't escape from), lock the doors, and then go back for the 6 year old. If I tried locking the 2 year old in his seat, and then drove the van to the building, I'd have my 6 year old running out into the street, worried that I was leaving him (he's impulsive, and doesn't listen or follow directions). I rarely feel that driving up to the curb and leaving the vehicle is safe anyway because that's not a normal parking space, and thus puts us at higher risk of an accident. And some places we go to don't have the space for it. I'm not going to stop taking my chidren places. Especially since some of those places are where my DS1 gets therapies. And I'm not going to try to find and then afford childcare where my kids would be accepted and treated well. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find caregivers for SN kids? My family can't even handle DS1 without double-teaming! I already avoid going on many errands until the kids are with their father. But, we're not going to lock ourselves in the house just to avoid the possible meltdown and the need to leave the 2 year old in the van to get the 6 year old safely. That would be ridiculous.


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## Chavelamomela (Sep 25, 2006)

I am surprised that with all this debate, no one has offered the OP an alternative solution:

Identify a friendly mom in the parking lot who is loading/unloading her kids. Ask her to keep an eye on your kid for a minute while you run inside to get your other child. I do this for other moms all the time when I pick up ds from school - rather than having her lug out the infant seat, ds and I will wait for a minute by her car while she picks up the other kid(s) from school.

Sometimes we forget that it's okay to ask for help. It's also okay to offer it.
Also, these aren't strangers. These are fellow parents in your child's school, you probably know them (even if not by name). You CAN ask for a favor. You can swap favors, take turns, etc.


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## Kim Allen (Jun 28, 2008)

Yes i would be concerned because a 2 year old can be very capable of getting out of their carseat by themselves.lol I know from experience. I was in the car waiting on my DH in a store and DS was throwing a fit and he got very quite when i turned around he was standing up in his carseat that btw was securley tightened. He also knows how to pull it into gear from us letting him play in the truck while we was cleaning it at home in the yard. (it was not running but if it was he would have easily put it into gear!!!) Thats what i would worry about.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super Glue Mommy* 
but the reality is, child abduction is still a threat, even if its a very very small one. its still _possible_. and its one of the things that is much less possible if child is in your sight then if child is not in your sight. so that's how I assess risk. while something may not be VERY dangerous, it can still be MORE dangerous (even if only a little) then my other options.

But sometimes the risk involved in the more dangerous option is so low that it should be considered perfectly okay for someone to choose that option. Giving kids baths, for instance, is probably more dangerous than taking them into the shower with an adult. It's always _possible_ for the child to drown, even if you're sitting right there. (What if you suddenly have a heart attack while your kid is in the water?) But I don't think anyone here would try to convince another mother she should stop putting her kids in the bathtub and use a safer option. Using the bathtub might not be the safest possible thing, but it's safe enough. I think under most circumstances it's also safe enough to leave a kid in a locked car for a few minutes.


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

I have left DD in the car for a 2 minute span. never at a public place, only outside my home to run in and get something. Once she was sleeping in her carseat and I left her in and rolled down the windows (it was cool out). I literally sat at the door in my moms salon (it's in her home) and opened the window in the house to hear if she fussed. She was out there for about 45 minutes, I checked on her every 5-10 minutes by going outside to see if she was awake.

I have never done this in the summer, I have always locked the car, and never more than 2 minutes.


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa1970* 
It is dangerous.

There was just an article today about a child getting out of the carseat and leaving the car and getting run over, while the mother just ran back in to the house to grab something. In other cases, car jacking. In other cases, child gets out of car and disappears..or is kidnapped from car. Or he gets out of his seat and manages to put the car in motion.

In most states, it is illegal. And if other parents see it, they will likely think negative things.


Um did she lock the door of the car? I would lock it and not run leave it running and e brake it...


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

It's illegal in most places that I'm aware of.


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## jivey (Feb 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ginadc* 
Wow. That's respectful. So at least half a dozen of us on this thread are MORONS, then.

Might I suggest that you could make your point less rudely?


I am sorry,That you feel offended that was not my intention. Please forgive my BAD Choice of words.

Please don't ever leave your child unattended any where not even for a second.

Again i am sorry if anyone was offended. By my poor choice of words


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

I havent read all the replies but I dont do it. First of all, I live in a HOT climate. And second, I live in a high-crime city. Just yesterday a car was stolen with 3 kids in it. Third, if nothing else someone could call the cops thinking you forgot your child. So no. And I _hate_ dragging them into every little stop just as much as the next person. But I still dont do it.


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## AkRotts (Sep 2, 2007)

From the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children,

http://www.nationalcac.org/families/...rents/NC60.pdf


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## abear (May 16, 2012)

If you're responding for Washington State...you obviously don't live here because they don't sell liquor in grocery stores!

Maybe you should know what you're talking about before you start spouting out what you think is fact.

...if that were the case, then a single mother would have to find a sitter for each time she went to the grocery store.

get your facts straight.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

This is a very old thread...


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