# Anyone sleeping with kids but not partner?



## stretchmark (Apr 10, 2003)

I haven't been sleeping with my husband or several years now since I got pregnant and needed really good sleep at night. I kicked him out and he has hardly been back in. Now we have two that I sleep with in a nice big bed but still no husband. We haven't been too close in a long time and he has his own room now?

Anyone else have a simmilar situation?


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

im not in a similar situation, but im here if you need an ear. are you happy with the arrangment? im pretty dependent on my guy so i think i would be sad if we lived like that, but i guess if he disturbed my sleep i might choose to do that.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

We have a queen sized bed for four people. It can be hard for dh to get good sleep in bed with me and the kids because he's a lighter sleeper than I am. So every third night or so, he ends up out on the couch. We still have a good relationship. I think the important thing is that everyone gets rested, regardless of where you sleep.

However, if this is more than an issue of everyone at your house getting enough sleep, then maybe you need to work on your relationship with your dh. Sit down and ask him how he feels about the sleeping arrangements. This line in your post is what worries me:
"I kicked him out and he has hardly been back in."

If he feels like he's been kicked out or rejected, that's no good.


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

nak

yes similar though i didn't kick my dh out! but since we have returned to separate rooms [as we had prekids] we both sleep much better

i sleep with the younger kids

i think we are closer now than when we were trying to sleep in the same bed and hating it

when the kids want more space we are going to be short of bedrooms.....

dh is a chronically bad sleeper and i hate being woken by a grownup at night - kids have nightime needs i am happy to attend to


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## underthebluerug (Jan 26, 2004)

I think I know how you feel..! My husband gradually established his own room during my first pregnancy four years ago and also hasn't been back in my bed since, although I went on to co-sleep with my daughter, wholeheartedly supported by him.

I had even invested in a king-sized bed and had a special guardrail built on one side so we could all fit happily in one bed, but to no avail. DH has always been an almost pathologically light sleeper, and even now that he has his own room and bed, he still *always* complains of sleep problems for one reason or another (unsettled stomach, work worries, bad pillow, trips to bathroom, neighbour's car left idling...) He won't see a doctor about it, BTW. Although I try to be kind about it, it makes me a little nuts, especially now that my DD is happily in her own room (so I'm alone) and my current very-pregnant body (38 weeks) keeps *me* from sleeping well for what I think are legitimate reasons deserving of sympathy and company!

It's dreadfully lonely for me, and we've tried to address this in marital counselling (which we went to for more "global" reasons), but I don't think the situation is ever going to improve. He's like an old man who never should have left bachelorhood in some ways---he keeps his room in a filthy smelly state (which keeps me from going in *there* for TLC) and during this pregnancy I've been too physically repelled in general to even want to TRY to address the whole sleep issue.

Do you still manage to get some, um, snugglebunnies now and then at least?


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## orangemustang (Mar 25, 2004)

well I was gonna ask if you guys still " do it" but a couple of you that have sepatate beds are pregnant..so that answers my question :LOL :LOL :LOL


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## underthebluerug (Jan 26, 2004)

Although your post made me laugh, Angela, I hate to say that one lucky babymaking session last fall was the only exception to an otherwise desolate sexual landscape around here! Congrats on your new little one, btw.


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## Nikki Christina (Mar 27, 2003)

DH hasent slept with me lately.. but its really not a big deal.. the only thing he's really said about it was joking.. I told him I had held a bitty baby that day (3 weeks) & he said "dont get any ideas" I asked why & he said he'd never get to sleep in his bed again

but we still have sex.. a few times a week


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## babibelli (Jun 4, 2002)

dh has been sleeping on the couch lately-mainly because dd and i go to bed earlier and he's more of a night-owl. we also have space issues-there simply isn't enough room for everyone and with one child more on the way we're investing in a king sized bed in the next week or so. our marriage has remained solid, although i know he's eager to come back into our bed and be comfortable. as i'm four months pregnant, it hasn't had too much of an effect on our sex life !


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## SpiralChrissy (Apr 5, 2004)

My DH hasn't slept in our bed much since our 10month old was born. I miss him terribly!







He too has trouble sleeping well and with the baby waking up and the cats crawling everywhere, he just found it easier to sleep downstairs in his den. In some ways it is easier, if the baby wakes, I don't have to worry about DH. If I can't sleep, I just read. And I do enjoy having a big bed to myself now that DS's moved into his room.
I'm hoping things get easier for us and we can find our way back to the same bed. Until then, I'm heartened by your words Emmaline that you feel closer to DH now. When I think about it, otherwise we're doing pretty well. It just always seemed so "wrong" to be sleeping in separate beds. It helps to hear that others go thru the same things. Maybe if I just relax, it will get easier and we'll find our way.
Thanks ladies!
Chrissy


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## 1jooj (Apr 8, 2002)

I have only slept a whole night with dh a couple of times since ds was born 3 years ago. We have 2 big beds--one full, one queen. He has been sleeping with ds since dd's 3rd trimester, and I have been sleeping with dd. Back when it was just ds, I begged him to return to the big bed, and he tried. He really wanted to sleep with us, but he just cannot get restorative sleep with a baby in the bed--to busy worrying about rolling over. With good reason. He's kind of a thrasher.
Anyway, we don't plan on having any more children, and I look forward to snuggling up with him when dd's ready for her own bed. But that's at least another 2 years, I figure.

We miss each other a lot sometimes, and we are transitioning ds to his own bed, slowly...and sometimes I jump in with him in the AM just to snuggle up.


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## gaffa (Sep 1, 2002)

My Dh sleeps on a twin next to the king. He has this thing about rolling onto the baby (now 3 1/2







) but it's his choice. He's still close, just not IN the bed.


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## Verity (Aug 29, 2003)

No, we don't sleep in the same bed, either. In our house, the master bedroom is separated from the rest of the house. I just don't want to be that far away from my kids, since the youngest is just 3 and still wakes at night, and needs me to go back to sleep (even though she is night weaned). I get the best sleep on the nights ds sleeps with dh and I can have ds's bed to myself most of the night (until my youngest child wakes up).

Dh complains sometimes that he wants me back in his bed, but other than on extremely rare occasions (just one I can think of, actually), we haven't had sex at night since we were dating. (Dh is just not a night person; when we have sex, which is very rarely, it is during the day.) Our lack of physical intimacy is caused by issues far deeper than where people are sleeping. Even when a husband and wife aren't sleeping in the same bed, sex will happen if it's going to happen. (Won't it? I refuse to believe the "experts" are right--that APing can cause marital issues.)


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## katja (Apr 13, 2004)

DH moved to the guest room when I got rid of the co-sleeper. We didn't use it, but it kept me from falling out of bed. After that, space seemed a lot tighter. Now I sleep alone with dd. Honestly, it was a relief to have him out of the bed. He gets up at least 2 or 3x a night to use the bathroom, flops around a lot, etc. When I was pregnant, I slept in the guest room because I was having insomnia.

Before we were married, I always came to bed about 4 or 5 hours after DH, so we don't have much history of going to bed together.

However, his moving to the guest room made me feel a little guilty for putting dd so far ahead of him. One thing we've started doing that really has helped us to reconnect is once dd has gone to sleep and dh is ready for bed, I go and tuck him in, and we lie there and snuggle and talk like a real married couple. This actually brings a lot more closeness than all three of us sleeping in bed together, trying to keep from waking each other. I look forward to the day that DH and I can just get in to bed and be alone together, but I so love sleeping with dd, I hope that day doesn't come too soon.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

i havent slept in the same bed with my partner since dd was born 21 months ago. he's fine on the sofa, and i love sleeping with dd. she won't be a baby forever, and she's eventually gonna want her own bed, so there will come a time when dh can climb back in with me. or maybe not. we have issues that need to be addressed too, verity...and i kind of like the idea of seperate rooms. even if i was crazy in passionate love with my man, i'd like my own room. i'm picky about my sheets. and my bedroom decor. and my smell on the sheets.


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## Nicholette (Apr 27, 2004)

My dp and I started to sleep in separate beds when I got to late pregnancy and need an entire bed in order to be comfortable.

Then after ds was born I found that I missed him terribly. When we started co-sleeping I found that there just wasn't enough room for us all in our Queen size ( we are both roundish people ), so we actually take turns to co sleep with our son as we both love it soo much.

I do get days where I miss snuggling into my dp, but I think that co sleeping is so important and probably not going to be forever so Im happy with the arrangement for the moment.


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Verity*
Even when a husband and wife aren't sleeping in the same bed, sex will happen if it's going to happen. (Won't it? I refuse to believe the "experts" are right--that APing can cause marital issues.)

yes it will happen

with my husband in another room we have a (usually) kid-free space for grownup stuff and I get to choose when I want to go and visit dh, or he can invite me, it's very sweet actually


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## madsandandy (Feb 3, 2004)

hi, my ds is 11 months old today and dh and i haven't slept in the same bed for about a year....he attends to our dd's nighttime needs and also helps me out as ds is a very frequent night waker. we thought this would be a temporary situation....but here we are.......i can't remember the last time we had sex. i think AP is very hard on parents and the marriage especially when there is extreme sleep deprivation....so there's no rendevous-ing at night as we are always trying to get sleep....and forget during the day with 2 clingy kids. so here we are..... i hoping it will get better this next year. i know the most important thing you can do for your kids is keep your marriage happy and healthy...but who has the time? help?

beth
momma to madeline 7-31-00, anderson 7-3-03


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## karlin (Apr 8, 2004)

Thanks for this thread...I don't feel so weird now. In the 3 years DH and I have been married, we've only slept in the same bed for maybe 3 months (my choice). I feel so weird sleeping with someone else in the bed (except DS of course). I sleep with DS on a mattress on the floor in the nursery, and DH sleeps in the master bedroom. We both have very different ideas on what constitutes a comfortable bed as well. DH likes a very, very soft bed with tons of blankets (obviously NOT safe for a baby). I prefer a regular mattress with just one blanket (works much better with a baby).

While this sleeping arrangement works well for us, it does piss me off that he is so well rested, and I'm extremely sleep deprived lately (DS is teething, and he only wants me for comfort). I realize nothing can be done about it, but it seems a bit unfair sometimes.

If I actually had enough energy or inclination (breastfeeding has taken away my drive), I'm sure we'd find the time to be intimate. We always did before we had DS, and we were in seperate beds.


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## erlyco (May 31, 2004)

Glad to hear there are more of us out there.

I sleep with DS (12 months old) on a full-sized mattress on DS's floor. DH sleeps in "our" bed in the next room. Sometimes, in the morning, DH comes in and snuggles with us on the mattress though.

We tried all sleeping in the bed, but it just wasn't working. We were all waking each other up. And our very soft mattress just wasn't good for DS and wasn't comfortable for nursing. Our current setup was supposed to be temporary, but we're still there. Oh well.

As for sex, we are working on that. It was non-existent for many months. But now we are working on making time for it. Personally, I can take it or leave it, but I enjoy the closeness that comes with it. Plus, DH and I are very affectionate -- lots of hugging and kissing throughout the day.

Glad to hear I'm not alone with the sleeping and the sex. :-/


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## FitMama (Jul 20, 2003)

I tend to feel guilty about DH sleeping on a futon in the living room. But he is a light sleeper and doesn't fare well with getting kicked by a toddler all night. So he's happy with the arrangement, since it's the only way we can ALL get some sleep. And if he's happy, then I'm happy.


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## raleigh_mom (Jan 11, 2004)

We've tried several combinations over the past few years, and FINALLY we gave in and discovered what worked best for us. We have a king sized bed, but still, DH moving to another room was the best thing for the family. I sleep in the king with DD1(3yo) and DD2 (1yo). He sleeps in a queen in another room. His hours are crazy, so it has been wonderful for him to be able to sleep his own hours. I think he is horrible about tossing and turning at night, so I actually sleep better with 2 little girls than I did with him! So, overall everyone sleeps better this way. Just don't tell our families!

And as for...um...marital activities... we just use the other room. Separate rooms doesn't cause nearly the problem that his work hours do. I've heard a great line that when non-AP people ask about this, just say,"Isn't that what the kitchen counter is for?" Never used it, but I'm waiting for my chance.


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## blueholly (Mar 15, 2002)

My DH sleeps in another room because he SNORES and that annoys the hang out of me! So I enjoy sleeping with my DD except when I have just had it then he sleeps with her, which we both enjoy.

I'm just having sex to get pregnant again, tho' it's working none too quickly. I don't miss having him in the bed most of the time.


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## Rainbow (Nov 19, 2001)

I sleep with my two girls and DH sleeps in his own room. He comes and joins us on weekends at times. It is completely because he struggles to sleep with us- light sleeper and all. Gets grumpy.
I thought it was "bad" at first- I mean it must mean we're not close right? But I got comfortable with it and we're all much happier now.


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## mymarliegirl (Mar 10, 2004)

so glad to have company. dh has always been a night owl so it was always a rarity to go to bed together and often i'd find him on the couch in the morning with the TV still on--he loves to fall asleep in front of it and i can not. so now with dd (9mos) sleeping with me, he has sort of set up permanent camp on the sofa. and we miss each other a lot. i love sleeping with dd --when she sleeps. She has become a very restless sleeper and when morning rolls around I feel anything but rested. Sometimes dh sleeps with her and I sleep on the couch so i can get some sleep, but i like my own bed and my baby girl close to me. sex.....yes, but certainly not as often as dh would like. usually while dd is napping on the weekends. i just keep thinking it will get easier someday...right?


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## PadmaMorgana (Apr 14, 2004)

I am soooo glad I am not alone.

DH moved out of the master bedroom when DD was a few weeks old. She kept him up (and me too LOL) but then he had to get up very early with DS. So we separated bedrooms. DH sleeps on a nice foam matress on the floor of the spare room, DS sleeps in his own bed, and DD and I sleep in the queen size in my (our) room. This works great. I sooth DD all night (she wakes to root for my finger NOT the booby--that just ticks her off) barely waking up, and DH deals with DS, who wakes anywhere from never to 4 times a night.

My inlaws and parents are shocked and appauled. eh...whatever. We ALL get enough sleep and that is all that matters.


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## BusyMommy (Nov 20, 2001)

I sleep w/the kids in our queen and he either sleeps on a mattress on the floor next to us or goes into our sons' room to sleep in comfort and quiet.

At times, I feel disconnected. But, we'd be too squished if he slept w/us. He'll move back in a few years and we still connect in "his" room. :LOL

Tough, though, in many ways.
Oh, and forget telling anyone about it IRL.


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## allietx (Dec 24, 2002)

Dh and I had a king size bed before ds (30 months) was born and there was plenty of room to add the baby in so it was no problem. Then, when ds was about 18 months (I think?) my dh started feeling very sleep deprived and even though he wasn't obviously waking with us at night, we still worried that his quality of sleep might be poor so we sent him to the guest bedroom "temporarily". It was suppose to be for a few nights here and there, but _everyone_ slept better when he was in there so before long it was every night. For us, the bedroom had always been about sleep anyway- we'd do all of our talking, eating, reading, watching shows, whatever in other rooms. My dh is the kind that crashes to the world when his head hits the pillow so I didn't feel like we were missing much by laying our heads in different rooms for a while.

Then, about 6 months ago (the holidays) we had house guests for a few days and dh squeezed back into our bed. We realized that we *did* miss each other in the bedroom together, so after they left we went out and bought a full size mattress and wedged it on the floor next to our king size mattress. We couldn't really fit other furniture in there, but it was HEAVEN! We loved everything about this arrangement- plenty of room and plenty of sleep for everyone, yet plenty of companionship too.

Last week we put new floors and paint in ds's room (to replace the pastel- lol) and decided to go ahead and convert the toddler bed (never slept in) that had been converted from a crib (also never slept in) to a full size bed. Ds was very excited and wanted to start sleeping in there! I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but decided to let him try. So for the last week Dh & I are back to just the king- which feels tiny now- and ds sleeps in his room and then either comes back to our bed when he wakes or calls me to his room and we snuggle in there and sleep until it's time to get up. So far, he is sleeping great in there- only waking at like 6 AM most nights and we get up at 7 anyway. He was a frequent waker in our bed so it is shocking. But if he decides to come back to our bed for most of the time again we will bring the mattress from the guest bedroom bed next to the king. The giant bed just worked soooo well!

Good Luck!


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## urklemama (May 4, 2003)

We're in separate rooms. Urklepapa snores.

Like many of you, I have received many prophecies of doom from my relatives... sure, we'd get along SO WELL if we were sleep-deprived. That would be SO GOOD for our relationship.


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## SpiralChrissy (Apr 5, 2004)

Good point! You crack me up!







:







:







:
I always have to remind myself, it seems, that unconventional is o.k.
I enjoy it but it's hard not to be unsure from time to time.
I'm glad I have y'all!
Chrissy


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Humm, my dh works night shift and us not sleeping together has not doomed us.

Actually my grandparents have slept in separate bed for most of their 56 year marriage. It is ironic how they say dh sleeping else were and/or kid in the bed doom a marriage. LOL

Our kids sleep in our room most nights now days. We enjoy this. Dh does come in at 6:30 am to snuggle. He enjoys this big family bed on his nights off. But we do have nights when he is home and we go snuggle in their beds. Just lying by each other in warm arms. Honestly, I think if this loving act were more convenient and easier to get we would just take it for granite. We know that this time of oneness is something special that we long for and make time for because we love each other. When we get longing for this time to much it is a signal we are not focusing on our relationship enough.


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## BriaB (Apr 10, 2004)

We were in exactly the same situation and have worked out a solution that works perfectly for all three of. My DD has her own room next to ours with a double bed. I go to sleep in our room with my DH and sleep there until my DD wakes up (she just turned to two and slept through the night for the first time a few weeks ago!) then I go in to her and usually sleep there for the rest of the night.


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## hazey (Jun 12, 2004)

we sleep seperatly and have done so for about a year.

DD is in her room and has been for about 3 yrs, we did bed switching for a while, now we have ds on the floor in my room. me and baby in bed, and dd and dh in another room together

i like it better this way, more room for me(i'm a super light sleeper) and dh's alarm doesn't wake up me, baby and ds


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## Jonesey (May 2, 2004)

I'm so glad I found this thread! I'd never bring this up for discussion IRL, I remember my Mum looking at me in horror when she found out, but Dh and I have never shared a bed. Oh we tried for a while, but he is a light sleeper whereas I'm the heavy snorer and teeth grinder. When the kids came along they co-slept with me - Ds at 21mths is still co-sleeping, Dd now 6 went to her own bed at age 3, but still jumps in from time to time. It just works better for us all this way and there's always Dh's bedroom, the living room, family room, shower when the mood takes us. Admittedly our sex life isn't what it was before children, maybe once every week or two now. We went through this after Dd - it went on till she was weaned at 2 1/2yrs then perked up once my breasties recovered so I'm hoping it happens again when Ds weans. Although he's such an avid nurser I'm thinking he may go longer, hopefully before he starts junior kindergarten lol.


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## Jonesey (May 2, 2004)

Forgot to add that I think due to my extreme noisiness during sleep my children will probably be able to sleep next to a freight train and not notice!


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## CherylE (Oct 9, 2003)

Well - my dh sleeps in another room on our bed. I sleep on a futon in a room with my twins. It's actually because I am a light sleeper and dh snores very, very loudly. I wake up with his every snore. So I get no sleep at all. Before babies I would put in earplugs and tune him out enough once I got into deep sleep - but can't do that and still be aware of my babies. So he's out.


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## strongmama (Apr 4, 2004)

Papa sleeps in his "own room" now too. My dd's 6mths old, and he's tried to sleep with us a few times, but he needs more room to sprawl out then he can have sleeping with us. We haven't been very close lately either, so it hasn't bothered me all too much. I love to sleep with her, and I would rather just go to sleep peacefully then to hear him sigh every couple minutes, and wake up to him tossing and turning. It doesn't seem to be a major issue in the relationship, and hopefully it stays that way.


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## flower365 (Feb 22, 2003)

Ah, yes, our deep dark secret that the "family" in the "family bed" consists of only mama and baby, 22 mos. DH moved to his own room when baby was at 4 mos. Cosleeping with baby has been one of the top 3 greatest joys of my life. Cosleeping with DH has always sucked. He snores, I stay awake. We don't cuddle. I feel guilty about this: is there something wrong with me that I LOVE sleeping with baby and hate sleeping with partner? At least I now know I'm not alone.

Compare: baby smells great, dh doesn't.
baby looks adorable, dh doesn't.
baby's breathing sounds sweet, dh's breathing annoys me.
etc.
Multiply by 1000.
Should I be worried?


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

I was so relieved to see this thread! DH has been sleeping in another bed since I was about 7 months pregnant he snores super loud and I was getting up to pee every hour so that's how it all started..now we just sleep better this way with the baby in bed. partly because we only have a queen size bed and space is limited (ds hated his cosleeper)

we feel like there's some intimacy lost as we are usually very cuddly in bed but are working on that, though we miss it terribly (and I'm not talking about sex at all).

Usually we all go to bed at once then when ds falls asleep DH goes in his bed, then in the morning he comes and cuddles up in bed as well most mornings..it doesn't replace midnight cuddle sessions but it's helped a bit!


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## fireflies~for~me (Jun 24, 2003)

Yes, one of us has been using the futon ever since baby was born in April 2003. Works out OK though because now Sam starts the night in his crib, so we have some snuggle time together. Then in the middle of the night when baby wakes up, I go get him and go to the futon with him-hubby mumbles goodnight to me and I love you and that's our little routine.

Sometimes he WANTS us all to be in the same bed, but neither of us ends up sleeping that great, so this works out.

We just make sure we have plenty of opportunities for sex and snuggling at other times and in other places.


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## becca011906 (Mar 29, 2004)

Well me and dh don't sleep to gether often... he works nights 3on 2 off, 2 off 3on ect... it's an odd schedual that took about 6 months of the whole family to adjust too. Right before he got this job i finally had my ds (3 at the time) sleeping the whole night in his own bed... well when dh went to nights i started letting ds sleep with me again... i was so lonley in the big calafornia king size bed we have... now i just let austin fall alseep where ever he wants... couch or his bed when dh is off and if he wakes at night he will sleep happily on the couch b/c there just isn't room for me, my big belly, dh's dog (dal), and dh so when dh actully sleeps in our bed ds is out... dd ont he other hand loves her crib and never wants to sleep anywhere but there at night time. But dh also sledum goes to bed when i do since he's use to being up at night it's hard for him to keep switching and ually stays up past 2AM then wakes up about 11 the next day


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## OakEmber (Jul 3, 2002)

This thread intrests me because although we are all (DH, DD and I) co-sleeping now in our Queen, when Oakley comes in the fall I could see this happening for us too. Hopefully we will just add on to our bed but we have very limited space to work with. DD and I did sleep for about a week in her twin bed once when DH was complaining about being kicked throughout the night but he missed us and wanted us back. Given the choice though, I would still sleep with my kids over him if need be as I believe they need me more.

About the sex...I don't see how it would make a difference whether or not you were all in one bed or DH in another, the co-sleeping in general makes it so another room is necessary and at least you have another bed to use









Flower365, your post made me ROFL...I don't know if you should be worried or not but I totally agree with what your saying. Me and DH were never cuddly sleepers before kids but I need to snuggle DD.


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## noahsmommy (Jun 11, 2004)

It is so nice to know that we are not alone! Whenever my dh tells people we don't sleep in the same bed, he says people just don't get it. They assume something must be wrong with our relationship. Doesn't it help your marriage when everyone is getting enough sleep







? Before ds arrived 2 years, 9 months ago, we slept together, and I even had trouble sleeping before he came to bed. But, since I've been co-sleeping with my son, and we tried sleeping together again, we both found we just couldn't sleep because we kept each other up. My dh has trouble sleeping, and rolls around and sighs, and sometimes snores. I usually get up about 4 times a night to pee.

Sex has certainly slowed down, but because of the sleep deprivation that a kid brings, not because of not sleeping together. So, why is it so hard for us to tell people that we don't sleep with our partners? Why do we act like it's a dirty little secret







: ??


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## wendyk (Feb 9, 2004)

Count me in here as well! Actually I was feeling kind of weird about sleeping in separate rooms until this last week while we were travelling. We were all in a full size bed together. The lack of space was much less an issue for me than his wall-rattling snoring! At one point I was actually between he & dd listening to BOTH of them snore







: Somehow her light snoring doesn't bother me where his "my nose is completely stopped up" snoring drives me batty. I couldn't wait to get back home to sleep better (with dd waking up 3-4 x per night!).

I think that we have a better relationship now becuase I'm not so incessantly irritated at him for waking me up a hundred times a night with his snoring.


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## SpiralChrissy (Apr 5, 2004)

It does help to come here and know that there are other women in the same situation. But, at the same time, I'm lonely at night! I hate waking up by myself, especially on the weekends. My DH sometimes tries and sleeps in our bed but usually ends up going downstairs at some point in the night. I just told him today that I don't want to spend the next 30yrs sleeping by myself. I do hope we can find our way back with each other soon.
Chrissy


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

Like Becca and some of the others here, my DH has odd hours. He either is bed earlier than my son and I or sleeping during the day (he works nights or very early day shifts). Even if it was just me and my DH, childless, I doubt we'd be sleeping very often together. Between his shiftwork, his snoring and restless legs and my light light light sleeping - it's tough to get a good night's sleep. So, when my DS came along, we seem to naturally split up - my DH is in one room and my DS and me are in another. I feel a little funny about disclosing this fact to some people but truthfully the arrangements works perfectly for us! I can't imagine my DH coming home from a nightshift, grabbing 5 hours and heading back for a day shift AND having to stay in bed with a breastfeeding mama and baby!

But knowing it works and feeling not guilty about it is two different things - I am glad this thread exists!


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## mom2kbeth (Aug 18, 2003)

I sleep in the queen sized bed alone with ds; dd is side-carred to the bed in her crib (with the front part taken off). Dh has been on the couch for 3 months, and like a pp said, except for the lucky babymaking session last year, we have nothing. But I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!







:


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

My husband snores mightily and I am a light sleeper, so the kids and I have two king-sized mattresses in one room, and my husband sleeps on a queen in another. I *like* not sleeping with him, and I plan *never* to!







But then, we've never felt any connection between sleeping together and having a good relationship (sexual and otherwise.)


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