# "well child" checks in prepubescent boys



## dynamohumm6 (Feb 22, 2005)

Another thread made me wonder about something--the one where the 12 year old was circ'd. This line:

New hubby took the boy to get his checkup and the ped said he had a very tight foreskin and that he should be circumcised.

Is it normal for a doctor to "test" a foreskin in a male child???? I mean, if there are problems with it, I can understand if the parent or the child asks the doctor to take a look...but is it wrong of me to think that if a doctor retracted my healthy, non-foreskin-problem-having 12 year old, my gut reaction would be to deck him??


----------



## Sijae (May 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dynamohumm6* 
but is it wrong of me to think that if a doctor retracted my healthy, non-foreskin-problem-having 12 year old, my gut reaction would be to deck him??

I'm with you!

Laura


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:

Is it normal for a doctor to "test" a foreskin in a male child????
I wouldnt be surprised if some dr do this since they seem to find the intact penis so facanating







: As for normal no it shouldnt be.

Quote:

I mean, if there are problems with it, I can understand if the parent or the child asks the doctor to take a look...but is it wrong of me to think that if a doctor retracted my healthy, non-foreskin-problem-having 12 year old, my gut reaction would be to deck him??
Yep if there was a problem and they asked that would be reasonable. My reaction as well would be the same as yours. There is just no need to have it checked as part of the routine. This has actually been a worry of mine about taking ds in for physicals as he gets older.

It peeves me off no end that the words "please dont touch my son's foreskin" even have to come out of my mouth.







: No one would ever dream of having to tell a dr. "please dont dont force my daughters vagina open"


----------



## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm w/ you on that one. ALthough I have to admit, our ped does take a peek at the "boys" (that's actually his wording: "I just need to take a quick peek at the boys down here."







) THe difference is that our ped does NOT try to retract. He checks to make sure the testes are dropped and he does look at the tip of the penis, but he does not retract. I consider retracting a boy's penis to be very similar to spreading a little girls' vulva open "to take a look." NOT APPROPRIATE if there isn't something wrong down there!


----------



## ~Kira~ (Sep 16, 2004)

Okay, perspective from Hong Kong (that's where DH was born & raised)

When he had his annual check-up at 10 or 11 (I can't remember which) the doctor asked him if he'd been washing under his foreskin. DH had no idea what he was talking about. He didn't know that it would become retractable! The doctor told him to wash underneath when he got home if it pulled back, and if it didn't pull back just wash the outside until it became easy to pull it back.

The doctor didn't try to retract, just gave him instructions - that was it. DH didn't have a father around growing up and I am assuming that since his grandmother & aunt raised him, they simply washed off the outside and didn't give him any more instructions than that.

On the flip side, his younger cousin was diagnosed by a different doctor for Phimosis as a young child







:







:







: The doctor ordered a circumcision. DH remembers helping to carry his cousin home from the surgery in his arms and there was blood seeping through his clothing. He said he cannot get that image out of his head.







:

- Kira


----------



## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

I went to many well-child checks when I was a kid and I don't think they ever checked my genitals. I'm sure if I had a problem, they would have checked. But until my first gyno exam at 16, not one doctor even saw me without my underwear.

Is there something they are supposed to check on boys that I'm unaware of? I imagine when idiot doctors see a foreskin, they flip out, but why does the underwear have to come off in the first place?


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

The main thing the dr's check for is decended testicles up till a year or 2 and hernias then and later. A hernia can turn into a very dangerous thing and in young kids they really cant tell you if something is off and some older boys dont realize that they have something there out of the ordinary. I was tempted to tell the dr not to even look under his diaper/underware since he has no problem but I am afraid that he might get a hernia and then it would cause major issues before I knew there was a problem.

I am still torn about having him checked because of the retraction risk but I dont wanna risk missing a hernia either.


----------



## SJane01 (Feb 24, 2006)

Dan has always had a checkup every January since he was born. They have always did the standard physical genital checks for him, feel his testicles, and have him cough. His pediatrician from when he was 2 until 12 every year recomended that he be circumcised, but never tried to forcibly retract him. He would look at the opening and tell us that the foreskin was still fused to his glans, and when it did detatch when he was 11, he finally took aways his circ recomendation.

We havnt ever had a DR thats forcibly retracted Dan. Now that Dan is retractable, his dr does however retract him. She says .... "I'm going to retract your foreskin now, is that OK with you? ... Good, now if it hurts or feels weird say so right away."

I've always considered that normal.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:

Now that Dan is retractable, his dr does however retract him. She says .... "I'm going to retract your foreskin now, is that OK with you? ... Good, now if it hurts or feels weird say so right away."

But there is no medical reason for her to retract him. There is no more point in retracting even if retractable than there is having a 11-12 yo girl have a spetulum exam. If he is ok with it that is fine but still she is just looking for a reason to start up the circ talk again IMO.

As far as I know there is nothing in there to be seen. If a infection is present it will make itself known within 12-24 hours without ever seeing under the foreskin.


----------



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 
Is there something they are supposed to check on boys that I'm unaware of? I imagine when idiot doctors see a foreskin, they flip out, but why does the underwear have to come off in the first place?

According to my pediatrician they check to make sure the testes don't retreat up into the groin. I'm not sure when they out grow needing that checked though, I thought it was a baby thing.


----------



## dynamohumm6 (Feb 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wendy1221* 
I'm w/ you on that one. ALthough I have to admit, our ped does take a peek at the "boys" (that's actually his wording: "I just need to take a quick peek at the boys down here."







) THe difference is that our ped does NOT try to retract. He checks to make sure the testes are dropped and he does look at the tip of the penis, but he does not retract. *I consider retracting a boy's penis to be very similar to spreading a little girls' vulva open "to take a look."* NOT APPROPRIATE if there isn't something wrong down there!

I absolutely 100% agree, that's how I feel about it exactly.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

In other countries from what I have read all this foreskin manipulation is unheard of by healthcare workers.


----------



## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

So, when will the Dr reccomend doing routine paps on prepubescent girls??

Same thing...

It's disgusting.

Yeah I'm gonna do a pap exam on your 6yr old DD now...

Umm SCREW YOU!!!

That's what most sane parents would say, but allowing their boys genitals to be fiddled with??? Not a single peep. it's so disturbing on so many levels..


----------



## rozzie'sma (Jul 6, 2005)

: Pandora.

I went for well checks and I never had to take my undies off. Actually I have only ever taken them off for the gyno. So why would a boy have to drop trow? Don't say hernias, cause they checked me for those threw my clothing


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

If the hernia is in the scrotum the only way to check for those is by palpation. I dont see how they could do that thru clothing on a boy honestly.


----------



## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

That does seem really wierd to me. None of my kids have their genetalia looked at after a year, unless there is a specific reason. My ds hadnt had anyone look "down there" since he was maybe 6 months old, until a few months ago when he crushed his foreskin on a cart (ouchies!). In fact, now that I think about it, my kids dont even get undressed for their well child visits! Only the baby does to get an accurate weight-the older two NEVER get undressed, again, unless there is a specific reason. Definately not at well child visits. Honestly, that would kind of creep me out....esp with a male doctor (I know, thats totally sexist, but thats just the way I feel).


----------



## njeb (Sep 10, 2002)

I see no reason for a doctor to retract the foreskin, especially if there is no sign of infection. I don't believe my sons ever went through this at their check-ups.


----------



## bburnie2 (Sep 28, 2004)

On the flip side, his younger cousin was diagnosed by a different doctor for Phimosis as a young child







:







:







: The doctor ordered a circumcision. DH remembers helping to carry his cousin home from the surgery in his arms and there was blood seeping through his clothing. He said he cannot get that image out of his head.







:

- Kira[/QUOTE]

OMG Kira- I am so sorry your dh had to go through that. I had no idea- that is horrifying.

As far as a doc opening a girls labia and checking a boys foreskin I don't know why they are doing this! I would tell them to back off. As a baby, fine- the kids don't remember it, but as an older child? I NEVER remember my ped doing that to me. EVER. I remember when I got to be like 16 he recommended my mom take me to her OB/GYN.


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCatLvrMoMof2* 
If the hernia is in the scrotum the only way to check for those is by palpation. I dont see how they could do that thru clothing on a boy honestly.









One of my ds had double inguinal hernias with one side filling up the whole scrotum. There is no way you could *not* notice it if you are changing his diapers -- his scrotum was about 2-3X normal size and the skin was stretched tight.


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bburnie2* 
As far as a doc opening a girls labia and checking a boys foreskin I don't know why they are doing this! I would tell them to back off. As a baby, fine- the kids don't remember it, but as an older child? I NEVER remember my ped doing that to me. EVER. I remember when I got to be like 16 he recommended my mom take me to her OB/GYN.

When I was 5 or 6, I remember my mom taking me to the doctors. She told me it was a checkup I needed for school -- but she had the doctor make me pull down my pants and underwear and lay back on my knees(even though I was fussing and saying "no")and spread open my vulva. The doc just looked is all(besides the cold fingers clasping my inner labia!!)...but you know, I still feel violated and lied to. I even remember the name of the doc and the whole thing very vividly. I don't know *what* my mother was doing...but even if she had a "good reason" to take me there and get me "checked out" -- how dare she lie to me! I've tried to confront her about it -- but she won't admit anything.

LOL sorry for rambling...bottom line is people need to keep their creepy hands away from children's genitals unless there is truly an issue!!


----------



## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

Maybe the reason doctors check boys is because of the high incidence of complications from circumcision. Adhesions, skin bridges, meatal stenosis, buried penis, etc. Maybe doctors actually find problems more often than not with circ'd boys. And probably often find 'problems' with intact boys, ie. phony phimosis. I'm trying to believe doctors are well-intentioned, but misinformed (about intact boys).

This issue is hard for me to decide about. Inguinal (scrotal) hernias are pretty common in boys, and I'm not sure if I would notice if anything was wrong. But at DS's recent checkup, the genital exam made me uncomfortable. If for the only reason that I want him to learn about modesty and inappropriate touching, for his own safety, you know? The doctor didn't retract his foreskin, because I asked him not to. He probably would have if I didn't say anything, because he told me that I should retract DS to clean him in the bath. Which I don't, and told him so. I said I will teach DS to clean himself when he is old enough to do it himself. And the dr was ok with that, saying that he was clearly healthy down there anyway, so that would be fine.

So I don't know if I will consent to genital checks on DS in the future anymore. I'm leaning more towards not.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Yes some would be very obvious like your ds but there is cases were it is really small and wouldnt be visible.

I was just telling dh that I am on the fence about how needed hernia checks are. On one hand a hernia could fast become a huge deal if not caught but on the other it is weird to me to think about the dr being so hands on with private body parts. I just keep thinking about how if they wanted to do pelvic exams on little girls I would run the other way.


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCatLvrMoMof2* 
Yes some would be very obvious like your ds but there is cases were it is really small and wouldnt be visible

It just makes me wonder whether a really small hernia not causing any pain would even be a major problem. With my ds, they said the main issue was fear of incarceration which could damage fertility...not something I would personally worry about(in a child with no noticeable hernia, no pain etc)....also, the reason why my son had hernias was from being a micropreemie.


----------



## SJane01 (Feb 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *QueenOfThePride* 
If for the only reason that I want him to learn about modesty and inappropriate touching, for his own safety, you know? The doctor didn't retract his foreskin, because I asked him not to. He probably would have if I didn't say anything, because he told me that I should retract DS to clean him in the bath.

---

So I don't know if I will consent to genital checks on DS in the future anymore. I'm leaning more towards not.

Personally I feel that we should _NOT_ be teaching our children that its bad to have a doctor look at your genitals. There's a difference between inappropriate touching and having a doctor look over everything.

Our 13yo has to shower in school, and if he was super modest because of his parents teaching him to be, it would be a large shock to him to enter 6th grade an then have to strip infront of his class mates. Thankfully we take the approach that you should be how you feel comfortable.

Sorry, I know thats OT.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I dont want my kids to see nudity as dirty but I want them to understand that their body is there own and if they are not comfy with someone seeing them that is ok. Even if it is a Dr.

As far as having to shower in school in a group. Here that dosnt happen they do change clothing for gym but they have private screens to go behind to do so. The whole showering together in the locker room thing disturbs me but I cant put it into words why. If they did it here I would find a way to get my kids out of gym honestly.


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SJane01* 
Personally I feel that we should _NOT_ be teaching our children that its bad to have a doctor look at your genitals. There's a difference between inappropriate touching and having a doctor look over everything.

Our 13yo has to shower in school, and if he was super modest because of his parents teaching him to be, it would be a large shock to him to enter 6th grade an then have to strip infront of his class mates. Thankfully we take the approach that you should be how you feel comfortable.

Sorry, I know thats OT.

I get your point, but in this sick cut-happy world of allopathic docs, it is NOT necesarily a good thing to teach our children to trust doctors. Did you see this thread: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=525446

I don't need some money hungry doctor sizing up my dc's penii. Where's the puking smiley?


----------



## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SJane01* 
Personally I feel that we should _NOT_ be teaching our children that its bad to have a doctor look at your genitals. There's a difference between inappropriate touching and having a doctor look over everything.

Our 13yo has to shower in school, and if he was super modest because of his parents teaching him to be, it would be a large shock to him to enter 6th grade an then have to strip infront of his class mates. Thankfully we take the approach that you should be how you feel comfortable.

Sorry, I know thats OT.

Umm I hate to break it to you, but more often than not Dr's DO touch inapropriately. They are in a unique positon of power and there are Dr's that can and will take advantage of said power.

If the child feels uncomfortable, he/she should have the right to say NO, I'm NOT gonna let you do this. To ANYONE, Dr's included.

Seriously, how many news reports do you see about Dr's molesting patients? How many of these acctual assults go UNREPORTED because "oh well jeez he's a Dr!"

It's can be as innocuous as not putting on gloves...to outright sedation/rape.

Dr's are as Human as you and I. They do have a code of ethics yes, but they are STILL HUMAN BEINGS with the same drive and fallabilities as ALL Human beings have.

Children Should have EVERY RIGHT To say "No I dont like that" to ANYONE. And I mean anyone...Dr's, nurses..you name it. Just because someone is in a white coat does NOT Mean they are allowed to do as they want to your body.


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pandora114* 
Children Should have EVERY RIGHT To say "No I dont like that" to ANYONE. And I mean anyone...Dr's, nurses..you name it. Just because someone is in a white coat does NOT Mean they are allowed to do as they want to your body.

thank-you!


----------



## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twins10705* 
When I was 5 or 6, I remember my mom taking me to the doctors. She told me it was a checkup I needed for school -- but she had the doctor make me pull down my pants and underwear and lay back on my knees(even though I was fussing and saying "no")and spread open my vulva. The doc just looked is all(besides the cold fingers clasping my inner labia!!)...but you know, I still feel violated and lied to. I even remember the name of the doc and the whole thing very vividly. I don't know *what* my mother was doing...but even if she had a "good reason" to take me there and get me "checked out" -- how dare she lie to me! I've tried to confront her about it -- but she won't admit anything.

LOL sorry for rambling...bottom line is people need to keep their creepy hands away from children's genitals unless there is truly an issue!!

Wow! THat's awful! Do you think your mom might have been worried about sexual abuse?


----------



## rozzie'sma (Jul 6, 2005)

I never had to shower in public in school


----------



## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

DD had labial adhesions as a baby, which were only discovered when the doctor did the exam. It cleared up on its own by about 15 months, but the doc still wanted to take a look at her two year WCV, even though she saw at 18 months that everything was normal. I'm sure they'll try to look again next year, but I'm just going to put my foot down at that point. I remember being 3 and I would've been waaaaayyy uncomfortable having a doctor spread my vulva by that age.







:


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wendy1221* 
Wow! THat's awful! Do you think your mom might have been worried about sexual abuse?

I can only assume maybe? I was with her pretty much 24/7 unless I was at my part time Christian preschool. She is a sick puppy though -- supposedly my older sister and I were punished as babies because we were "being filthy"(ie: some baby form of "masturbating"? god knows...) and I was whipped for wetting the bed at night when I was 4 and 5...I just can't get the cold creepy Dr. forced "check up" experience out of my mind -- and that was 20 years ago!


----------



## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

I'm under the impression that with this circ happy doc, the fact that the kid had a foreskin meant that it was too tight.


----------



## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

I'm so surprised that some schools are still requiring showers! Seriously, all of the school districts in our area (it might even be a state wide thing) do NOT require showering and most of the kids change in private. Niether me, nor dh had to shower at all. (we are pretty young-24-so this is pretty recently)
I remember they told us when I was in 6th grade that we would have to shower. I dont remember who it was but I remember how freaked I was. The thought of showering in front of a bunch of girls that I didnt necessarily get along with (I had friends, but also a lot of enemies, lol)...how embarassing. Turns out we didnt have to shower at all but it scared me so much I started asking to be homeschooled!







Of course, it didnt help that I had huge boobs and bad acne already


----------



## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SJane01* 
Personally I feel that we should _NOT_ be teaching our children that its bad to have a doctor look at your genitals. There's a difference between inappropriate touching and having a doctor look over everything.

Our 13yo has to shower in school, and if he was super modest because of his parents teaching him to be, it would be a large shock to him to enter 6th grade an then have to strip infront of his class mates. Thankfully we take the approach that you should be how you feel comfortable.

Sorry, I know thats OT.

My son is only two, so he can't tell the difference between a doctor and someone else. And I'm too lazy to be super modest in my own home.


----------



## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

Showers don't bother me, testicular exams don't phase me, & we sure as _hell_ are not modest around here; I have two boys running around naked right now, jumping on beds going "Woo flapper! Woo flapper!", but seriously, retracting a boy's foreskin is... intimate.

Intimate & _invasive_ & highly inappropriate. There s no reason for it, & by God, not in a 12 yr old. A 12 yr old can be _asked_ if he has a problem.

I have enough respect for my children's innate sense of privacy & dignity to have instructed them in the washing of their own genitals (since the age of about 18 months). I feel really kind of outraged that this is even being discussed. It is as incredible to me as insisting upon putting a speculum up a young girl.

This has _nothing_ to do with modesty. It's bizarre & prurient & sexually intrusive, & I cannot imagine any 12 yr old being 'comfortable' with such needless fiddling with their genitals.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:

Intimate & invasive & highly inappropriate. There s no reason for it, & by God, not in a 12 yr old. A 12 yr old can be asked if he has a problem.

I feel really kind of outraged that this is even being discussed. It is as incredible to me as insisting upon putting a speculum up a young girl.

This has nothing to do with modesty. It's bizarre & prurient & sexually intrusive, & I cannot imagine any 12 yr old being 'comfortable' with such needless fiddling with their genitals.

You said what I was thinking TigerTail







:


----------



## sparklefairy (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twins10705* 
When I was 5 or 6, I remember my mom taking me to the doctors. She told me it was a checkup I needed for school -- but she had the doctor make me pull down my pants and underwear and lay back on my knees(even though I was fussing and saying "no")and spread open my vulva. The doc just looked is all(besides the cold fingers clasping my inner labia!!)...but you know, I still feel violated and lied to. I even remember the name of the doc and the whole thing very vividly. I don't know *what* my mother was doing...but even if she had a "good reason" to take me there and get me "checked out" -- how dare she lie to me! I've tried to confront her about it -- but she won't admit anything.

LOL sorry for rambling...bottom line is people need to keep their creepy hands away from children's genitals unless there is truly an issue!!

This was my experience too, except my mother did not ask to have it done. It was so disgusting and humiliating, even at that age.

I remember being about 12 and refusing to take my slip off, refusing the nurse and the doctor, after insisting that my mother not come back to the exam room with me. Now it would probably be a red flag for abuse (which was not the case) but I also feel lucky now that I was not forced to strip.


----------



## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm not sure about foreskin "testing" but I think that retraction is a very appropriate issue for a boys' doctor to discuss with him, many intact young men don't know they're suppsoed to retract it or that it's normal to retract and it isn't covered in sex ed in alot of schools.

It would be good if doctor's educated themselves on what is and is not normal in a boy of whatever age, and then if the boy believed there was a problem that boy could manipulate his own foreskin for the doctor.


----------



## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SJane01* 
We havnt ever had a DR thats forcibly retracted Dan. Now that Dan is retractable, his dr does however retract him. She says .... "I'm going to retract your foreskin now, is that OK with you? ... Good, now if it hurts or feels weird say so right away."

I've always considered that normal.

Your son is over 12 years old and the doctor is still touching his perfectly healthy penis? I can't imagine any teenage boy being comfortable with a doctor touching his penis. He might feel like he has to _say_ it's okay, but I bet he does not _think_ it's okay. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive due to some abuse issues as a child, but honestly, this just gives me creeps that I have been unable to get over. I thought about it ALL day long - and I don't even have a son! It was on my mind all day because it made me feel violated just reading it, so I couldn't even imagine how it must make your son feel.


----------



## kxsiven (Nov 2, 2004)

:







:







:

Doctors here never ever touch genitals of boys/girls 'just because'. Ofcourse if there is a problem like diaper rash or something then they peek.

The whole idea doctor retracting foreskin is as appauling as doctor opening little girl's vulva.

As far as retraction. If there is no real problem, physical abnormality, doctors do not check or even ask if boy can retract his foreskin. If foreskin is still tight at age of 18 - which is extremely rare, young men can then deal with it themselves and go look for help.

And let me assure you...boys learn to retract







- just like we girls learn to do other things







totally without any help from outside.

Raise your hand girls, how many of you needed doctors help and guidance to learn how to masturbate?


----------



## LadyMarmalade (May 22, 2005)

Kia!

And ditto to you too. Neither of my boys have had their penis touched (or retracted) by a doctor/nurse/midwife etc. It's just not done.


----------



## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twins10705* 
When I was 5 or 6, I remember my mom taking me to the doctors. She told me it was a checkup I needed for school -- but she had the doctor make me pull down my pants and underwear and lay back on my knees(even though I was fussing and saying "no")and spread open my vulva. The doc just looked is all(besides the cold fingers clasping my inner labia!!)...but you know, I still feel violated and lied to. I even remember the name of the doc and the whole thing very vividly. I don't know *what* my mother was doing...but even if she had a "good reason" to take me there and get me "checked out" -- how dare she lie to me! I've tried to confront her about it -- but she won't admit anything.

LOL sorry for rambling...bottom line is people need to keep their creepy hands away from children's genitals unless there is truly an issue!!

Um, yeah. I remember the same type thing happening to me, only I was older, near puberty. My mom was in the room with me, but I remember him even putting a finger in, and then declaring I was near startin my menses. Seriously. How sick is that? Now that I'm a parent I know. No doctor will ever do such a thing to either of my children.







:


----------



## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

Well, my children's pediatrician NEVER looked at my DD's "parts" but EVERY time I go in with my son, he feels the need to "gently" retract" my DS's foreskin. We had a talk about it yesterday and I told him I wanted NO retraction done and he just kept arguing with me even AFTER reading the AAP's intact care sheet. Smegma is dirty and sticky and if we don't start gently retracting now then he won't be retractable by 3 yo and will cause phimosis, etc. I am at a loss. I really don't want to switch peds.....


----------



## coloradoalice (Oct 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rfribbs* 
Well, my children's pediatrician NEVER looked at my DD's "parts" but EVERY time I go in with my son, he feels the need to "gently" retract" my DS's foreskin. We had a talk about it yesterday and I told him I wanted NO retraction done and he just kept arguing with me even AFTER reading the AAP's intact care sheet. Smegma is dirty and sticky and if we don't start gently retracting now then he won't be retractable by 3 yo and will cause phimosis, etc. I am at a loss. I really don't want to switch peds.....










I call BullSh*t!!!

Switch doctors. If he's gonna argue with the AAP statement you probably don't stand a chance of changing his mind. Additionally every time he retracts, gently or not, he is causing damage.

Your son deserves better.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rfribbs* 
Well, my children's pediatrician NEVER looked at my DD's "parts" but EVERY time I go in with my son, he feels the need to "gently" retract" my DS's foreskin. We had a talk about it yesterday and I told him I wanted NO retraction done and he just kept arguing with me even AFTER reading the AAP's intact care sheet. Smegma is dirty and sticky and if we don't start gently retracting now then he won't be retractable by 3 yo and will cause phimosis, etc. I am at a loss. I really don't want to switch peds.....










Make him sign the intact care agreement and if he wont then the only option is to find a new dr. He is horribley ignorent about intact penis care. It is totally normal to not be retractable till teens and even into adulthood. And smegma is not dirty it actually helps keeps things out of there. I cant help but wonder how many boys this dr has sent for circ because they arnt retractable by 3yo









I would seriously consider contacting the lawyer Dave2G I think it is and have him send this dr a letter. It isnt a letter saying you will sue but tells him in no uncertain terms by trying to retract he is abusing the patient.

Also if he is this ignorent and unwilling to learn about this issue what other issue's could he be uninformed about?? I wouldnt want someone like that around my child.


----------



## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

I told him that as long as he is retractable by the time he is married.....LOL

He didn't think it was funny.









And went on to say that 80% are retracteble by 3 and 100% by 5. He refused to even look at the information I printed off from NOCIRC.ORG because he said "you need to be careful who you get your information from" and that those NOCIRC people " are completely against circumcision." Well, DUH?!?!? SO AM I! But that article actually said "leave it alone" so I was hoping he would read it.

How do you go about getting an intact friendly doc? Do you call around and interview them all on their circumcision opinion or what? I really don't want to change Docs....this Doc is supposedly one of the TOP DOCS here in Arizona and we have been seeing him for 3 years.....








:


----------



## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rfribbs* 
I told him that as long as he is retractable by the time he is married.....LOL

He didn't think it was funny.









And went on to say that 80% are retracteble by 3 and 100% by 5. He refused to even look at the information I printed off from NOCIRC.ORG because he said "you need to be careful who you get your information from" and that those NOCIRC people " are completely against circumcision." Well, DUH?!?!? SO AM I! But that article actually said "leave it alone" so I was hoping he would read it.

How do you go about getting an intact friendly doc? Do you call around and interview them all on their circumcision opinion or what? I really don't want to change Docs....this Doc is supposedly one of the TOP DOCS here in Arizona and we have been seeing him for 3 years.....








:

Go to the Doctors Opposing Circumcision website, and email them for a reccomendation of a foreskin friendly doctor in your area. Also tell them the name of your Dr so they can put it on the blacklist of foreskin ignorant Dr's.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:

this Doc is supposedly one of the TOP DOCS here in Arizona

Obviously on this issue he is not a top Dr. and I cant help but wonder as well what else he isnt up to date on.


----------



## twins10705 (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coloradoalice* 
Um, yeah. I remember the same type thing happening to me, only I was older, near puberty. My mom was in the room with me, but I remember him even putting a finger in, and then declaring I was near startin my menses. Seriously. How sick is that? Now that I'm a parent I know. No doctor will ever do such a thing to either of my children.







:

OMG! How awful, that is just sick, sick, sick! My dr. was a female so I guess that made it "ok" in my mother's eyes.







I can't believe so many parents utterly fail to protect their children from these kinds of violations!!


----------



## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *twins10705* 
OMG! How awful, that is just sick, sick, sick! My dr. was a female so I guess that made it "ok" in my mother's eyes.







I can't believe so many parents utterly fail to protect their children from these kinds of violations!!










My mom (a nurse) felt it was okay to leave me alone at 8 years old with a pediatric urologist who turned out to be a child rapist. I was a victom with my mom out in the waiting room. Every month for 2 years. I think some parents are just unaware of what they really need to protect thier children from.


----------



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rfribbs* 
How do you go about getting an intact friendly doc? Do you call around and interview them all on their circumcision opinion or what? I really don't want to change Docs....this Doc is supposedly one of the TOP DOCS here in Arizona and we have been seeing him for 3 years.....








:

*YES you interview them*

When we chose our pediatrician we interviewed her and asked her opinion of circumcision. We also didn't tell her ours ahead of time so we would get her honest answer and not just what we wanted to hear.

BTW a doctor who also speaks spanish has probably seen more intact boys.


----------



## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fyrestorm* 
My mom (a nurse) felt it was okay to leave me alone at 8 years old with a pediatric urologist who turned out to be a child rapist. I was a victom with my mom out in the waiting room. Every month for 2 years. I think some parents are just unaware of what they really need to protect thier children from.











It's the whole "Man in the white coat wont hurt me!" delusion your mom suffered from...and unfortunately too many people suffer from this same delusion...

Dr's = Human

Human = Fallable

Dr's < God

nuff said


----------



## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 

BTW a doctor who also speaks spanish has probably seen more intact boys.









: I know that before we knew our DDs sex we were looking for a foreskin friendly doc. I ended up deciding on a Greek one who I know was born there partially because I knew he still had his. (I know his brother).


----------



## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pandora114* 









It's the whole "Man in the white coat wont hurt me!" delusion your mom suffered from...and unfortunately too many people suffer from this same delusion...

Dr's = Human

Human = Fallable

Dr's < God

nuff said

Till the day she died!! Partially from her own neglect and partially because of the docs she trusted "to death" in the hospital.

I haven't trusted one since I was 8 and I don't think I ever will again. Thank the gods for MDC and all you great moms!!


----------



## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fyrestorm* 
My mom (a nurse) felt it was okay to leave me alone at 8 years old with a pediatric urologist who turned out to be a child rapist. I was a victom with my mom out in the waiting room. Every month for 2 years. I think some parents are just unaware of what they really need to protect thier children from.

I am so so so sorry. This made me gasp reading it.







s


----------



## kxsiven (Nov 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rfribbs* 
And went on to say that 80% are retracteble by 3 and 100% by 5. He refused to even look at the information I printed off

You should report that uneducated 'doctor' to his bosses or somewhere(I do not know where things like this are reported in USA). He is not only harming your son but who knows how many others?

The bottom line is that you are a customer buying a service from him. You do not need to argue with this matter. You simply state that he is not allowed to touch your sons genitals. End of discussion.


----------



## +stella+ (Apr 17, 2005)

Today we went in for well check for 2 years. The nurs prac, who I like the best of the whole practice asked to look under diaper. I said, before you do, I do not want you to touch his penis at all or check for retraction, she said ok and she didnt touch him at all, just eyeballed that area. I am thinking it might be for like... some kind of abuse check? Although, if I were putting cigs out on my kids butt I dont think Id be at a well check... but anyway. I was glad she agreed and didnt give me any problem with it. I really dont know how she feels about it, but she didnt say "oh but you know.. they really should be retracting by.. blah blah".

Doubt we will go to well check 3 year.


----------



## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

My son had a physical last May there is a reason to physically check for hernias. He had his underwear on the entire time. My dh was in the room and the doctor explained everthing right up front to my son but he never mention a thing about my son's forskin nor touched it. I cannot tell you the last time I saw my son naked, nor my dh. There needs to be more communication of what is normal for males. Men's penis, testicals, or scrotums unless being laughed at are not discussed. Nor is mens penile health unless of course it is for a perscription of viagra. There is little to no talk about males needing to do monthly self exams. There is little to no explantation of why the doctor might check the scrotal regions, want to ask men about humilating? Most of them will, and are expected to laugh it off though.

The realities are men are more likely to die from prostate cancer and testical cancers than women breast cancer. We need to educated and enpower or sons on their health. Instead of saying no touching teaching them to ask questions, research, and letting them know it is ok to say no and comeback later after they do their research.

***********
I also don't think it is always appairent that our children have hernias. They can hide or only be noticable while crying or straining. If you are a child with a hernia if you always had pain while straining then you might assume it is normal.


----------



## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
My son had a physical last May there is a reason to physically check for hernias. He had his underwear on the entire time. My dh was in the room and the doctor explained everthing right up front to my son but he never mention a thing about my son's forskin nor touched it. I cannot tell you the last time I saw my son naked, nor my dh. There needs to be more communication of what is normal for males. Men's penis, testicals, or scrotums unless being laughed at are not discussed. Nor is mens penile health unless of course it is for a perscription of viagra. There is little to no talk about males needing to do monthly self exams. There is little to no explantation of why the doctor might check the scrotal regions, want to ask men about humilating? Most of them will, and are expected to laugh it off though.

The realities are men are more likely to die from prostate cancer and testical cancers than women breast cancer. We need to educated and enpower or sons on their health. Instead of saying no touching teaching them to ask questions, research, and letting them know it is ok to say no and comeback later after they do their research.

***********
I also don't think it is always appairent that our children have hernias. They can hide or only be noticable while crying or straining. If you are a child with a hernia if you always had pain while straining then you might assume it is normal.


I know! Dr's should be more apt to educate men on their various body parts than to just chop them off!

My DH gets a yearly exam (Because he's Military) And even if he wasn't he'd go anyway. He does the full round, and will be getting the reccomended prostate exam when he hits age 40, OR If he shows symptoms of prostate enlargement before then. He does monthly self exams of his testicles because that's what the medic taught him in basic, check himself for cancer, and it was doubly important when he was on ship, so it was twice a month then.

We have all sorts of hype for womens reproductive and breast health, but what about the men? seriously? I LOVE Spike TV's attempt to get more men into the routine physical thing. I thought that was a great idea, and more networks should do that...there really SHOULD be more awareness about Male reproductive health taught in schools, put out on commercials, and whatnot..

Not everyone joins the military....and not everyone has insurance to go to a Dr each year...so it's up to them to know the symptoms, and to do self checks. Heck, most men/boys can check THEMSELVES for a hernia if they know what to look for!

But the difference between a grown man going in for his yearly physical (and Grown woman going in for hers) and a child, is, the grown adult is fully knowledgable and consenting to what is going to happen in that exam, be it a testical turn your head and cough exam, a pap smear, a prostate/rectal exam. The child does NOT, and should be told by the Dr what he/she is going to do and have full right of refusal if they so wish. Just like an adult. When younger, it's up to US to advocate for them. "I need to take a look at his/her genitals" Your answer should be "Why, what purpose, what exactly will the exam entail, will you insert/retract/spread," If any of the answers do not satisfy you you can refuse the exam on behalf of your child, who is too young to really say yes or no. At around age 3 + when they can make their wishes expressly known, if they say no, you stand up for them and say NO as well.

My child's bodily integrity above all else. I'll teach her the need for routine sexual health when she gets to the age of NEEDING routine sexual health checks, same with my son. And to tell me if anything is going wrong down there, because children know their bodies better than we do.


----------

