# What to do with the baby?



## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

I know it's close. I'll probably pass everything tomorrow. Maybe even tonight. I know I want to bury the baby, if I see it. But I don't know if I'll be ready right away.
How can I keep it, without it starting to deteriorate? I know some people put it in the freezer until they know what they want to do. But can you still really see everything? Maybe freeze it suspended in water? I saw some pics taken of an 8 week fetus, and they had put it in alcohol. Could I do that? Does it have to be 100 percent alcohol or what? They got really good pics this way. And I want as good of pics as possible. Any other methods I could try?

Sorry this is so incredibly morbid. But hopefully someone can help me.


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

You could just put it in water in the fridge until you are ready (pure water not tap). I kept my baby in the fridge for almost two days and he was still in his sack, he stayed perfect in there.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Thank you.
Did you use a glass? I've seen some pictures of people who used like a ziplock. Do you think that would be a good idea, to keep air out?

What's the difference between the pure water and tap? Will the baby break down faster with tap water?


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

I put the baby (in sack) in a baby hat and then put that in a mason jar. If you are wanting to take pics while the baby is in the water I would use a clear bag though. I'm not sure how well a baby so small will hold up outside of the water but I was very surprised at how much my baby was just a tiny baby once I broke the sack, I expected him to sort of collapse but he didn't. I took lots of pics of him after that too.
Tap water will have chlorine in it (among other things) and that's definitely going to break the body down faster. I would use distilled water or reverse osmosis water. I know others have used alcohol and actually preserved the baby that way but I would be afraid that it would be too strong and break the body down too.
I just wanted to add in case you have not thought of it or do not know; there are funeral homes that will cremate tiny babies. You can get a tiny little urn or even some cremation jewelry to keep the baby's ashes in a necklace or ring on your body. I'm not sure if something like that would appeal to you but I want to make sure you know your options, it's hard to think when it's all happening. My 16w baby's ashes are in two places. Most are in a soft stuffed bear (the same size as him, gives me something to hold) in a memory box that I made him. The rest are in a wooden tear-drop pendant that my hubby carved and it hangs around my neck. Also..... this may be too morbid for some; I kept the hat that I had him in before the cremation. I didn't wash it, just rinsed it. It smells like him and it's surprisingly comforting. I'm glad I didn't wash it.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Thank you Krista. That helps so much.
I never even thought of cremation but that's definately something I'd consider. I'd be able to hold the baby a little closer that way, than if I buried it. (I really hate saying "it" but we're sort of undecided on what the sex was. Maybe after I see the baby I'll get a feeling.) I will definately get some distilled water or something, for the meantime. If I get a chance tomorrow.
Thank you.


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## theboysmama (Sep 21, 2005)

I am glad you are thinking about this but u might not see the baby and u should prepare yourself for that too. Even if u don't see it it is still a baby. W my 1st m/c I couldn't see the baby but I had a placenta, sac, and stuff. I took a pic to keep in the memory box and buried everything. That was very healing for me.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Yes I'm prepared for that too. Even if I only see the sac and/or placenta that's something at least. Some proof of conception, I guess.







It would definately still bring me some closure.


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## mom-to-jj (Sep 8, 2008)

So glad things are finally happening for you! I hope it is a quick and painless process and that you're able to get the closure you need.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Thanks







Today Im passing some clots. So definately getting there. But I still don't think it's "starting" just yet.


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## mommabear (Mar 5, 2002)

I don't know if you have delivered or not yet, but if not, here's what I did: When my water broke and I could feel the contractions I grabbed a small strainer and delivered over the toilet. After spending some quiet time looking at the baby, we put her in a small container and added saline solution for contact lenses (this is what the hospital suggested), and then into the fridge (you could also do the freezer). Wishing you peace....


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

No I haven't delivered yet. Some clots today so maybe soon!

That's a really good idea. I have some contact solution leftover from before I got my lasik. Figured maybe I might use it as eye drops or something. But yes, that's a great idea. Saves me a trip, too. Thank you.


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

I've miscarried at about 8 weeks, twice. Once, I passed a noticable placenta and sac. The second time, even though I had seen the baby on ultrasound, it had been two weeks, and everything had started to soften up and blend together, and I never passed anything but clots and membranes.
I would highly recommend dropping anything you want to look at into a bowl of water - or salt water if you prefer. You'll see a lot more and it's easier to peel the clots away from anything. It'll keep just fine for a couple of days in the fridge in anything. If you want to keep longer than that, use some alcohol, denatured or vodka are fine.
Burying didn't appeal to me, so no advice on that. If I did, I'd probably find a pretty leaf or something to wrap the baby in.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Thank you apricot. I'll definately keep everything so I can look through it. I'd hate to be at the end and realize I must have missed it, and wondered if the baby had softened up but would have been more noticable had I looked harder.

I hear the baby usually passes fairly near the begining, no? I'll probably spend a large part of worst of it in my tub so nothing can get away on me.







I've already cleaned my tub really well. lol.


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

Usually near the beginning, the baby passes, yes.
You must have a bigger tub that I do. Being in my tub feels like being confined in a 5 gallon bucket of warm, but rapidly cooling, water. It would rock, tho, to have the warm water and privacy.


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

My tub is averaged size. But I love baths. I don't know if I'll have water in it though. It would probably turn all red pretty quick. If I did have water in it it would only be a little so I could keep draining it and refilling.
Water would probably be nice for the pain though...


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

With my m/c's it was pretty much done once the baby (or sack) passed. Mine were later though, twelve and sixteen weeks, so maybe that makes the difference there. Totally second the strainer/colander idea. Whenever I was on the toilet I had it under me so that I could dig through the clots and make sure the baby wasn't in there.


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

How ate you today?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

I'm good thank you! I passed the baby today. I will post the story in the thread "exactly what to expect with a m/c"

Right now the baby is in a cup with contact solution. I'm actually a little worried now because I know there are different types of solution. Mine was one of those no rub ones. Renu I think. One of those. Is that ok? Or should I switch to something else?

We will probably bury the baby tomorrow. After we get more pics in natural light.









The birth was very healing. I'm so glad I waited for natural.

Thank you all for your help and support in this tough time!


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

No not that type of solution - it dissolves proteins.
Plain saline, water, or water+salt.

Glad you are well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Ok thank you I will change that now!!


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## javilu (Oct 20, 2007)

blondie, you're in my thoughts!


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## bcblondie (Jun 9, 2009)

Thank you.

Here is the story if you'd like to read.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...187976&page=20


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