# What are the "right" reasons for wanting to have a child?



## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

I'm curious what y'all think. We've been talking about wrong reasons (like wanting your child to have a playmate). So its got me thinking - what are the right reasons to have a baby? (in my case a second baby). Thanks!


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

The right reasons are:
A.) Wanting to lose your mind, permanently, without feeling hostile about it;
B.) Wanting your boobs to sag down to your bellybutton and your bellybutton to sag down to your knees;
C.) Being perfectly okay with hallucinating all day long from serious sleep deprivation;
Oh, my goodness, can you tell I've had a really rough morning with my two kids?


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## Astrid (Aug 9, 2002)

:LOL

I've been thinking a lot about this myself. Still haven't come up with any answers though... I wish the world were a kinder place.

I really enjoy being a mom. I love every moment with my son and I would love to do it again, see what I have learned from my mistakes the first time around.







But I don't know if that is a 'right' reason.


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## magnoliablue (Dec 29, 2002)

This is a tough one, beings that the world our children are currently inheriting is not the greatest, so it almost seems selfish to inflict that on them...that said..my reasons were purely selfish.. To get to see a little individual grow and become an adult, with all their unique personality traits, to have someone to share life with, because they smell so good when they are babies, because of their innocence and the way they help you remember your own..because it is a beautiful thing to be surrounded with laughter...it is so much better to be loved unconditionally as only a child can...because they fill my life with more joy than anything else on earth ever has.


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## anothermama (Nov 11, 2003)

I don't think there are any universal "right" reasons to have, or to NOT have, more children.

If you (and your SO if you have one) decide 100% that its the right time for you, then it is. And if you and/or your SO have hesitation or worries, than maybe right this second ISN'T the right time. They right time is when you are ready and your reasons for being ready may be different than mine.


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## Foobar (Dec 15, 2002)

There ARE no right reasons, or wrong reasons.

A family develops because one (or two) chose to have a child.


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## nataliekat (Dec 3, 2002)

There is a right reason to want to have a child whether it's first, second or tenth. It's this:

Because you truly in your heart want to have a baby.

Simple as that.

My only child DD is 15 mo. I've just started getting to the point where I can think about what it would be like to have another. Sometimes I get all gooey over the idea. Sometimes in the middle of the night I think "Thank GOD I don't have two!"

But when I sit with myself and get quiet and think about it, I don't at this time feel any particular pull to have another baby. So I'm not. For now. At whatever time I do feel that pull, I will get pregnant. And if I never feel that way, DD will be a cherished only.


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## famousmockngbrd (Feb 7, 2003)

Nataliekat, ITA.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Well, I am probably in the minority here but I did have a second so my first would have a sibling. To call them playmates is trivializing a very special relationship IMO.

Growing up my siblings and I (they are 4 and 8 years younger than me) had fun times and times when we didn't get along. But I am thankful every day to have them. Our parents died when we were kids though so I have a different perspective than some I guess.

Of course, both parents should agree they want to have another baby and be in an emotional state to take care of another. It is late and I am not explaining myself very well. Just wanted to toss out another point of view.
Kirsten, mom to three beautiful girls


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## azyre (Oct 10, 2003)

I think a "right" reason to have a child is that you want to be a parent - it is an experience which (hopefully) makes you grow, and i think it can be an important part of our individual development to be in that role. In many ways I am now a compltely different person and it feels like this is what was meant to happen, what I needed, to continue my journey.

As for second and subsequent children, I think wanting a certain family type for your first child and of course the subsequent children is a good reason. I feel that being an only child can have many lonely moments (there is 13-17 years gaps between me and my brothers, so I was the only child in the house) and I don't want that for my daughter.

I also think a good reason to want a baby is that you enjoy it!







I really enjoy looking after a baby, my baby is growing up, and I want another go at some point







I feel like I am doing a great job and I should do it again









Leah


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## cumulus (Jul 17, 2002)

"I thought I couldn't have children. Then I worked with a people called the Mudugumor that disliked children. And I decided, no matter how many miscarriages I had, I was somehow going to have a child. Because having a child is a necessary attachment to life and to the future."

~ Margaret Mead


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