# genital exams for young kids...



## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Okay this is something that is just kind of buggin me: every time I go into the doc's office for well baby checks (yeah we do em for good reasons though) they always ask to check my girl's genitals. The last time my five year old went in for her check I told them no, that she wasn't comfortable with that, and neither was I. The doc was nice about it, but when I told my mom later, she freaked and was like, you should let them look because otherwise they will suspect you are sexually abusing your child and call CPS.

Now, I understand where she as coming from, but that still doesn't make me more comfortable with a stranger probing my daughter's private areas. If just seems like such an invasion for such a young kid-call me crazy, but it's almost like "conditioning" them to start to accept invasive procedures when they are older. I accept the fact that when they are older and need pap smears and everything, but right now it just feels wrong.

Of course I am viligant, and if anything looked wrong down there I would take her in of course, but I'm pretty well versed in what to look for (leisons and such). So, since my younger daughter is going in for her well-check-I'm going to go ahead and tell them no too-but I don't want to risk CPS..or anything, although last time I think I told them it was for religious reasons, which in my case is legitimate.

I should explain that the reason we do well checks is because I have an ex who can be quite volitaile, as well as dh's ex who is the same way, and I could see them making a false complaint against me. And while I do have legal backing, I just also want a good record of having my kids seen by a doc just in case. We don't vax either and my children are hardly ever sick, so we are basically only seen about once a year, literally.







I think last time they asked me if I was a new patient!

So what do you all do when it comes to this? I am being completely crazy, or reasonable? Dh thinks that I am being reasonable, but my mom thinks that everyone will think I'm abusing my kid and trying to hide it. NO win situation kwim? Grrrr....


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

My kids are 3, 4 & 7, NEVER have they had their genitals looked at or checked at a well baby/child visit(or any other visit) unless I had a question about a rash.


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## tiffany21074 (Jan 22, 2006)

I remember having this done when I was a child maybe twice by a physician, my mom was in the room at the time. I am wondering if our physician will want to look at my daughters genitals for some reason. I wonder if any one else has had this experience or not.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I vaguely remember being checked when I was 7. Actually what I remember is having a yeast infection and going to the doctor and getting an ointment to put on, so I assume there was an examination of the area. But I really don't think it was a regular thing.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

After they were tiny babies genital "checks" have not been done on my kids. DD was having some pain once so got checked, but I don't think DS has been checked since he was an infant.

We also do all the well-child checks.


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

Doctors really do routine genital checks on small children? WTF? WHY???


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

The only time my daughter' sgenitals were checked was at her newborn exam to make sure everything was okay, etc. She has never had her genitals checked since then and we do all well baby visits. I never had mine checked as a child either.

Have you asked them what they are checking for?


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## Gitti (Dec 20, 2003)

MY three kids NEVER had their genitalia checked by a physician until they were old enough to go for a pap smear.

I would absolutely not allow that AND I would call the health board to see whether it is appropriate. I seriously doubt that.


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gitti*
MY three kids NEVER had their genitalia checked by a physician until they were old enough to go for a pap smear.

I would absolutely not allow that AND I would call the health board to see whether it is appropriate. I seriously doubt that.


Genital checks are absolutely a routine part of a normal well-child exam. I personally don't get them done (says the woman pushing 30 who has chosen to never get any pelvic exam or pap ever in her life), but they **are** a totally normal part of an exam. No foul play here. Dr. Sears and Brazleton address this topic....i'm sure others do also, but those are two of the only 'baby docs' whose stuff i even bother to read....

Don't go flying off the handle here....


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

It really must vary by where you live because it is not common practise here.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

You know after much though, I am going to say no to all genital exams. I just find them too invasive and demeaning for my kids. It just feels wrong.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

When my dds were infants they did a check every time. The doctor was checking for hip dysplasia and it was better done without a diaper on. Also checking for rash around the anus to signal GI issues, and to check for yeast infections. My younges is now 2 and they are no longer a part of the exam. My oldest is 5 and has only had her privates checked if there is a specific concern such as when she told me it was itchy.


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## lovemygirl (Feb 22, 2002)

OMGOSH! I am in shock! I can not believe that some do this?!!! I've never had my gentials checked as a kid and neither have my kids. When they were newborn once, and that was it.

I would go with your gut and say no way. I think your mom is a little misinformed if she thinks they will call CPS on you for not letting your doc check their privates. I would call the health board and maybe find another ped.


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## CryPixie83 (Jan 27, 2004)

My dd has never had her genitals checked from a doctor, but she's only been to the doctor's office twice her entire life. The only time her diaper was taken off was to get an accurate weight and then it was right back on







Honestly I don't see what a doctor would ceck for that a thorough parent wouldn't already have noticed and addressed...I'm thinking undescended testicles, labia adhesions, rashes, etc. Now, if I were to find something like that I would ask a doctor to look at it, but I don't think I would allow routine genital checks. That's just me though.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
When my dds were infants they did a check every time. The doctor was checking for hip dysplasia and it was better done without a diaper on. Also checking for rash around the anus to signal GI issues, and to check for yeast infections. My younges is now 2 and they are no longer a part of the exam. My oldest is 5 and has only had her privates checked if there is a specific concern such as when she told me it was itchy.

That about describes our situation.


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

A genital exam is a good idea if the child might have a UTI because it has some of the same symptoms as a bad rash. Or if you suspected that there was sexual abuse. I think you're perfectly within your rights to refuse that part of the exam. But I also think it could be a good teaching moment - other adults are only allowed to look at your genitals when I am present, after checking with me and with you. And you can say "no" and we'll respect that, too.


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

Wow, my kids have been checked as infants, but that's stopped now that they have reached 2 and 3. I think my doctor was checking for hernias (both of mine are boys) and also checking their hips. I never had checks as a little girl, and I had so many allergies, I was in the doctor's office a lot. In fact, my brother and I would have our yearly checkups scheduled at the same time. I think you're perfectly fine with refusing, and I may have asked if there was anything in particular they were checking for? I know when I started to go through puberty, my doctor asked a lot of questions to gauge where I was in development, and make sure everything was going okay, but he never "peaked", just asked if I had noticed this change and that...


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## Ama_Anbhu (Jan 5, 2006)

I am someone who has bad memories, that still haunt me to this day about having genital exams when I was younger. I did not play sprts in high school because I did not want to go in for the exam. Even now that I have had a baby, it still makes me horribly uncomfortable. Even thinking about it now, makes me break into a cold sweat. I do not know hwo I will have this when my daughter gets older.


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## kewb (May 13, 2005)

Both of mine had them checked as infants but I think the last time was around a year and a half. I inquired at the time to the whys but I do not remember the answers. I do remember being satisfied with the answer.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Our dr. undoes the diaper, checks her hips and then without actualy touching her genitals (he sorta presses on her inner thighs) checks for adhesions (sp?) and then replaces her diaper. all together about 15 seconds. he stops after the 9 month check up and just ask if there i anything I would ilke him to check in that area. My older dds have never had thier checked. he does ask if there is a concern. He is very non-invasive which is why we go to him. he also is very good when he needs to be invasive. friends dd had tohave a pelvic exam when she was 10 and she said he did avery excellent job and was done with it bery quickly and painlessly and did a good job at easing her mind.


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## MelanieMC (Jul 7, 2005)

Ok, I am currenty in nursing school, and just a few weeks ago we were discussing infant and well child exam. We were told that the only time a dr. inspects the genital area of a child older than 1 year is when the parent has a complaint about a rash or possible UTI, or if the child has been rubbing/scratching the genital area. It is NOT normal to do a genital exam on a child once they are out of diapers for no reason. I cannot even imagine how it must make a child feel to have this done, especially a little girl with a male dr. It's bad enough as a grown woman to get pelvics done. I know that sears makes reference to this, but I think he's talking about having a full physical exam for a child. Most docs. don't do the whole exam, just basics. I would tell the dr. that you are refusing the exams b/c you see no point in them and that you are uncomfortable with the situation. Also make it a point to tell him that if you did notice anything wrong you would bring her in, but that you don't want the exam done if there is no problem. Anyway, if a Dr. ever threatens to call CPS on you, simply leave and find a new doc.


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## lillian (Dec 13, 2003)

what do you define as a genital exam?

i just had a well baby visit with my midwife for my 6 month old dd. she undid her diaper, checked her hips and looked at her vulva. no touching.

i can see that this would be unnecessary for a 5 year old.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

I think the only one off kilter here (without meaning to be, I'm sure) is your mom.

Some docs are viglilent about doing comprehensive physical exams, including genitalia exams in kids. In adults this issue comes up with regards to rectal exams. Some docs always do them; some never, and most in between.

This doc happens to be one to believe in comprehensive exams. It's fine that you feel it's unecessary (it IS very low yield - if you think there's a problem, you can always bring it up). Your doc isn't going to have any suspicion about sexual abuse. He'll only think that you are more concerned with your childrens' modesty and emotional health than you are about the tiny risk of some perineal problem going undetected. Fair enough. I'm sure he runs into this all the time.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

actually there is one Dr. here who would suspect you are hiding something if you tell him no. simple solution. avoid that Dr.


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## Fyrestorm (Feb 14, 2006)

Absolutely NOT!!!

My mom was a nurse and thought doctors were gods so she left me alone in the office with Ped urologist. I spent the next 2 years being sexually abused by him...Never...Never...Never...Will my DD ever be alone with a doc/let alone naked!!!


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovemygirl*
OMGOSH! I am in shock! I can not believe that some do this?!!! I've never had my gentials checked as a kid and neither have my kids. When they were newborn once, and that was it.

Same here. It does seem really bizarre to me, also.
Even when my foster daughter had problems, the Doctor never routinely checked her genitals. She only did on the initial exam when we were trying to figure out what was wrong. And, she was very gentle and explained before hand what she was going to do and I was able to hold my dfd's hand the entire time.

I would really question the motives of a doctor or nurse who did 'routine' genital checks.


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## SaraFR (Dec 8, 2005)

Is there any difference between the typical exams done for boys and girls?

I have two boys. It's quite often that the doctor will remove ds diaper and physically, but quickly, check his testicles. I think it was by the 3 yr olds 3 yr check-up that he examined ds but told him in advance that nobody (exceptions being Mommy, etc...) should touch his private areas.

Is it normal to recall my doctors routinely checking their genitals?


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## forthebest (Jun 19, 2006)

I used to get felt-up by a doc when I was 8 while my foster mother stood and watched but never registered (or did she?).hehe it was toncilitis I had!! but no the hand just kept going sneakily lower and lower.This went on for quite some time(I had lotsa toncilitis as a kid) and she started leaving the room when he would start on my tummy area???It became like a wee routine for them,b******s, 30 years on I mentioned this to a good friend who still lives in that area and she said 'funny you should mention that...' apparently lots of parents had had suspicions but done bog all????I got serious clitoral manipulation when I went to get checked for std's at age 17 while the nurse looked on probably getting turned on, when I complained I was told they knew about him!!! you what?!And there was me trying to be responsable getting checked over And I had no symtoms,I never went back.Childbirth imo is a dodgy time to be around these people, they think they own our bodies. There are loadsa docs who abuse us in this way and get away with it. There is no reason to check a kids genitals unless the parent has asked, this docs a perv,like so many of them,they just can't keep their grubby little hands/eyes off. Why oh why do people let them away with it? Is it any wonder that child molesters just get a slap on the hand,if that,I feel like society actually wants kids to be molested,if not then why are nonces not being dealt with,of course doctors are god we don't question them even when they are touching up kids, f**k I hate this world!And actually what the ped does to newborns, I wouldn't be surprised if that kinda treatment wouldn't cause hip problems in the first place.


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *forthebest*
I used to get felt-up by a doc when I was 8 while my foster mother stood and watched but never registered (or did she?). I got serious clitoral manipulation when I went to get checked for std's at age 17 while the nurse looked on probably getting turned on, when I complained I was told they knew about him. There are loadsa docs who abuse us in this way and get away with it. There is no reason to check a kids genitals unless the parent has asked, this docs a perv,like so many of them,they just can't keep their grubby little hands off. Why oh why do people let them away with it?









I think's the God-plex they are given, when, in fact, they are just human beings who had the money and time to get a piece of paper.







:


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## Houdini (Jul 14, 2004)

I have three boys and a girl. They haven't had their genitals checked by the doctor since they were infants. We do go in for yearly visits and we did all our well-baby checks when they were babies.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

i dont ever rememeber having my genitals checked as a kid........ds did get his checked, but hes only 9mths old so they check to make sure his testicles have dropped and hernias. But a 5yr old is WAYYYYYY to old to have a ped checking that area! as a baby i understand, girls can get labial adhesions and boys obviously can have problems with their (hate to say it, but its out there) circ's, testicles, and hernias.

definatly keep saying that its against your religous beliefs, CPS can't do anything about it if you say that word. Most states have an exception in their medical neglect statues about religion.


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## forthebest (Jun 19, 2006)

Sorry for ranting out people, I love mdc and it helps me alot to get stuff out and to actually greet(cry) a bit instead of keeping all my crap in sorry if my ramblings seem offensive, some of the stuff on here makes me wanna scream.I wish the world was a better place for our kids and ourselves


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## mlec (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *forthebest*
Sorry for ranting out people, I love mdc and it helps me alot to get stuff out









I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I actually appreciate your post (and others) b/c it will help me to protect my dd. She actually doesn't go to the ped (what's the point...she's healthy) but if she were to need to, I am glad to not be too naive to protect her. Peds are dogs more than gods in my book....but I still tend to think too well of ppl.


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## chiro_kristin (Dec 31, 2004)

forthebest and Fyre, I'm so sorry for what happened to you.









Aside from checking for hip dysplasia for the first few months of life and labial adhesions and undescended testicles and educating the parent on what is normal and what to look for, there is absolutely no reason to do genital exams without a specific complaint and request by the parent/child to do so.


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

I don't recall my DD EVER being checked and my DS's were only checked to make sure their testicles decended.


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## myhoneyswife (Apr 30, 2005)

My kids will not be checked by a Dr. I can check for abnormalities, it's not very difficult. And no, I'm not being arrogant to say that (people have told me that in the past, whatever). *I* don't and never have gotten paps and/or pelvics, so I figure my children deserve the same respect and if they choose to get checked or there is a real reason for it, I would not hessitate to bring them in.

I'm also wary about other people changing their diapers/ECing/bathing them, if needed I'd allow my mom, and hubby's brother and his wife, and that's it that I can think of. Only people I know really well and am really comfortable with (oh, and hubby!). I do think that for modesty's sake, hubby and I should be the primary ones to be dealing with bathing/diapering/etc.

It's pretty sad, but I see virtually every stranger, male or female, as a potential person to hurt my child and I just want to avoid it as soon as possible. When I go in (we'll do one WCV to get the birth certificate because we're UCing) I'll say it's a religious reason.

It freaks me out that it freaks so many other people out that I'd not want everyone in my child's pants!

Cara


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Asking before hand is a good thing....he didn't get pushy. That is why he most likely asked in the first place to make sure your child was ok with it, they know every child is different. He might have been checking for labia adhesion. Why is it inherently dirty for a doctor to look at ones private if he has a reason. I would be more inclined to ask and make him ask the child for permission and explain why.

My son is 11 and got checked for a hernia. This time because of my son's age the doctor talked to him and talk him through the procedure before hand. The doctor made him very comfortable before hand. Just like he did when my son was 5. Hernia is more of a boys issue that he will have to be concerned about the rest of his life. My son has had to have rectal because he battles chronic constipation and it was the same procedure, with every doctor he had seen. They explained what and why, made it quick and as comfortable as possible and wouldn't have done it with out his permission.

My children's doctor has also wanted to check for labial adhesions. He has talked to me and the girl's before hand. Describing what and why he was looking for and what he was going to do. One said no, and he was ok with it and moved on. The other one didn't care and it took a whole two seconds.

In both cases my children got to see us parents play 20 questions before hand. They have seen us turn down medical treatment. Which I think is a good think to teach your children. Knocking down the doctor's pedestal. They have seen us find a new doctor because we aren't comfortable with the one we have. And we have told them if they don't like a doctor let us know....and my oldest daughter has and we have changed doctors.

I think at moments like this we need to teach our children how to get the treatment we need not just to be a good patient. Saying no is good but at the same time we need to be asking why they want to do something. Learning to say I'll get back with you or we will discuss it next time is also a useful tool our children need to learn.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

its nothing wrong if they have a problem, or they fully explain why they would like to do an exam beforehand, but he was doing one without telling them a reason at every WCV!


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