# HELP! My almost 4 yr old is becoming so obnoxious!!



## Soogie (Feb 7, 2002)

He is seriously turning into one of "those" kids that I don't like. I'm really hoping that it is just a phase for him because he has always been so complacent and easy going and now he is literally driving me batty. I've noticed a drastic change in the amount of sleep he has been getting (thanks to extended summer daylight) but I can't seem to get him to sleep more. He no longer naps, is up with the sun at 6am, and even though bedtime is between 8-8:30pm, he lies awake until at least 10. And to add to it, it is hotter than Hades here in south Texas, so I can't get him more excercise outside. We'll incinerate! Yesterday ds was pretending to be spiderman, literally bouncing off the walls, screaming and hollering. And he's been so rough with his little sis. Is it typical for boys this age to become more physical just by design? Any suggestions as to how to tone down his behavior??? I've tried setting time aside to read and play a board game or two, but he just can't/won't sit still. I feel lost and not in control.


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## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

I really do feel your pain on this. My daughter has been doing the exact same thing. We are in North Carolina and it is hot hot hot here too! We can't play outside during the day because within 10 minutes she is dripping sweat and bright red in the face. Took her 45 minutes to cool down after taking a walk outside for 15 minutes today. I was scared. But she's rough with me when we try to play. I'm 12 weeks pregnant and she runs up and punches or jumps on my belly. I have no clue what to do but I totally sympathize. I hope you get lots of responses.
Meg


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## mom2threenurslings (Jul 16, 2002)

My four year old son is doing this also. It has evolved into some behavior that I just can't tolerate, such as throwing things when he gets frustrated or upset. Last night he threw a book at his big brother Alex, splitting Alex's lip and requiring a trip to the ER, where 3 nurses, a student, a pediatrician and another doctor all looked at his lip before being sure he didn't need stitches (the laceration was big enough where there were questions...ugh!). It didn't help that he did this at bedtime and we didn't get home from the ER until almost 11PM (right before Daddy got home from work!).

I'm thinking that the combination of less sleep (my kids tend to go to sleep when it gets dark and wake with the sun) and less activity (it's been hot and humid here and my allergies have almost sent *me* to the ER a couple time!) is having a huge effect on his mood and behavior. On days when we do get out more and he's allowed to "run free" he is much better behaved.

Lost and not in control is definitely what I'm feeling too! Sorry I'm not any help...but at least you have company in your misery!


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Please read "The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian. It will help explain what is going on with your little man.

(Honestly It goes in cycles.)


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

It is partly a 4 ear old thing and partly a locked in a house in hot hot tx, antsy unable to get enough sleep thing. Even now when I go home to TX in the summer (and someone has to die or marry for that to happen) I can'
t sleep, the kids get antsy, sick and start acting obnoxious (of course my mom shoveling junk and TV into them doesn't help but it is too hot to escape by getting outside. . . . )

So I feel for ya. I wish I had somehting wonderful and helpful to say but all of my children promptly abandoned thier beds tonight and are in one room swinging from the bars of the bunk bed. yeah they didn't get out much today. My 4 year old is the worst sleeper on the planet and all I can do is put her to bed and make sure she stays there so I can at least recharge to deal wit her. The only hope i can offer is that the days are getting shorter everyday and soon night will fall by 5 Oclock and you wil have the whole winter to recover :LOL


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Oh I did actually have something but got distracted by putting bean back in bed for the millionth time - hold that thought - million and one - Oh if you think lack o activity ios part of the problem could you enrol him in some classes? martial arts, gymnastics, gymboree, whatever would wear out a 4 year old?


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## sleepies (Nov 30, 2001)

why not get a small pool.
like one you blow up, or a plastic one?
put it in the shade?
or get some spraybottles and go to a shady park?

perhaps some empty milk cartons full of water and some plastic cups that you could have them pour?

does it cool off at night? maybe go out after dark and play tag?

here we catch lightening bugs, but im not sure if you have those there.


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## Raven (Dec 15, 2001)

Moving this over to Gentle Discipline


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## maya44 (Aug 3, 2004)

How about a few minutes outside and then some "tub time". Say no washing nec. just playing and having fun with cups and water toys.

Also since he is not going to sleep so early, how about a nighttime walk. If its still too hot outside, how about a shopping mall where the stores are closed, but the mall is open. My kids loved to do this. You can walk araound the mall about 5 times. You can even play "I Spy" as you go, and since its closed no whining asking for things.

Maybe they don't have this sort of thing available where you live, but all the malls around here are open until about 11 for this purpose.


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## napless (Mar 20, 2003)

I hear you! I too have a 4 year old boy.

I wonder - does your son watch TV? We don't, and my boys seem (to me, at least) quite a bit mellower than the TV watchers we know. I've been reading lots of threads on MDC from mamas who turned off the TV completely and noticed dramatic positive changes in their children. It couldn't hurt to try!


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## Soogie (Feb 7, 2002)

Thank you for all of your suggestions. Some may work, others won't. The bath, just for fun may be an idea. We live right on the water so we have no backyard, much less shade to let the kids play outside. And we've done a lot of air conditioned indoor activites, the art museum, aquarium, story time at the library, even Chuck E Cheese, to get them moving. He was a little better this weekend. DH was on a fishing trip so I was able to enforce a 7:30pm betime. DS was asleep by 8:30pm and didn't wake until 7:30 am Saturday morning. And he was more serene all day. Napless, we're not a TV watching family, so too much TV is not an issue.

Thanks again for all your input!


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