# trapped and i have to pee!



## larzanna (Jan 23, 2008)

OK ladies.....am i the only one with this problem?
Our queen size bed has a bed rail on one side or if we are traveling is pushed against the wall. DS is either between me and DH or between me and wall/bed rail.
He must touch me all night...i really think that if he could unzip my skin and crawl in he would!
It is almost impossible for me to get up in the middle of the night and pee. He ALWAYS wakes up and cries no matter how careful i am, which of course wakes up DH (who does have to get up for work).
I can make it the whole night w/o peeing IF i don't wake up, but since he *sigh* still wakes to nurse a few times a night i am getting woken and have to pee and can't fall back alseep because i am thinking about it. ugh.

What to do? I guess DS could only sleep between DH and i, so that it would be easier to slip out of bed, but then i a) never get to touch DH and b) wake really stiff from only sleeping on one side.

Other ideas?

Thanks.


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## omelette (Jul 20, 2006)

I have no advice but I know the feeling. I've spent nights not sleeping b/c I've needed to pee so badly but it wasn't worth waking ds up for. I've also spent nights with my arm asleep while I cradle him so he sleeps. Gotta love those light sleepers.


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## jammomma (Nov 17, 2008)

I don't have a solution for you, but I can relate. Most mornings I have to get up and pee at 5 am, and my DS almost always wakes up and cries. I'll be interested to see what others have to say.


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## mamafever (Jul 18, 2009)

ha! Sorry to be another one without advice because I have the same exact problem! ah! What do we do about this?


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## Quaniliaz (Oct 11, 2002)

I feel your pain. I've just discovered that my 23 mo old will willingly unlatch and roll over to go to sleep when I tell her I have to go potty, and I'll be right back. It doesn't work every time - but it works way better than trying to sneak away. Who knew?? Maybe it will work for you??


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I used to stuff a shirt and the pillow between me and my dd so I could slip away when I needed to. Can you kick your DH awake and make him share in the night suffering by comforting the baby for a few minutes while you pee?


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## Nicole730 (Feb 27, 2009)

Could you bring him with you? I'm thinking that could work if you don't need to put lights on. And he will fall right back asleep when you get back to bed.


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## LauraN (May 18, 2004)

I carefully place my pillow where my body was and dash to the bathroom. My pilow is warm and smellls like me and usually fools the baby just long enough to let me pee.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## canadianhippie (Jul 1, 2010)

lol i know what your going through, pee in the dark with him in your arms? have an extra t-shirt with your smell on it to put into his arms? drink less before bed?


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## P.J. (May 18, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *One_Girl* 
I used to stuff a shirt and the pillow between me and my dd so I could slip away when I needed to. Can you kick your DH awake and make him share in the night suffering by comforting the baby for a few minutes while you pee?


I've done this...when DH is there, but he sometimes sleeps on his office sofa if he stays up really late and/or needs a better night's sleep. In those cases I've just put my pillow next to DS, more to keep him from rolling but so far he's never gotten upset. Don't know if that would work if your baby's already crying as soon as you make a move though.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

When DS was an infant I would bring him. With DD I just figured she'd have to get used to being without me for 2 minutes. And she did in no time at all.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

With DS I usually wait 'til he wakes to nurse, tell him I'll be right back, then run into the bathroom. It means he cries for about 30 seconds -- but we all get much more sleep than if I try to wait 'til after he's done nursing or some other time. DH is right there next to him anyway (though he only wants me at night), so although I hate letting him cry I am not leaving him alone & I am getting back to sleep much more quickly (I have some insomnia & will stay awake for hours if I have to be awake for more than 1 minute to pee & roll over to nurse!!)

Oh and when he was younger I just brought him with me, but he's 1.5yrs now & too heavy to do that comfortably at 2am....

ETA: The whole thing has given me major issues actually because I feel the need to run to the bathroom constantly before bed & anytime DS wakes because I'm still afraid I'll get 'trapped' needing to pee at a bad time like when he won't unlatch...


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## blessedmama59 (Mar 3, 2010)

No advice here really, just have to say I know how it feels. Most of the time, I just get up and go. She cries, but her daddy comforts her until I get back. I've taken her with me before, too..lol The pillow idea sounds pretty smart, but I don't think my DD would fall for it.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I have the same problem.

But I do just have DS sleep in the middle most of the night. I do nurse at night, but, I figure I can nurse off the other side during the day to compensate. I also will start the night and end the morning with nursing on the other side.

I think it would be great if the baby were just in the middle, and every time I got up, dh and I traded places so he could have the other breast.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

I totally understand. We have the crib side carred to the bed, so even getting out of bed without the baby is difficult. If she's really asleep I can usually lay her in the crib long enough to go pee. If she's half-awake I just take her with me. But she's only 13 pounds, so that's not too difficult. We have a lot of night lights


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## sillysmile (Nov 5, 2009)

I wake my DD (19 months) about half the time I get up to pee. SO frustrating. Sorry.. no help here!


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## BellaClaudia (Aug 1, 2008)

Little night light in the bathroom totally did the trick for me.
My DD was so traumatized by the darkness that I wish I fully understood
this earlier. She soooooooo relaxed once we started leaving the little light
for the night. It is just one of those thigies that you plug directly into the
wall outlet.. sort of like an outlet lamp with little shade. that all that is
and the door is half open so it is kind of light but not too light in the room.

Then this goes like this:

- when she is still nursing and I have to pee I tell her that I have to pee so she will either let go or I have to negotiate but regardless.. she will still no matter what follow me to the bathroom as she won't stay in the famly bed no matter what
even if she is half asleep.

- when she is done with nursing and it was long session and she doze off on my breast then I just slightly put her away and trick is not to just walk away immediately... or she will pop up







I give her good five minutes or even ten and then I sneak out.

Then in the middle of the night that is kind of tricky.. I usually lift her hand and if it drops like a eel fish then she is sound asleep.. but when she turns
and changes her position then I give her the same five minutes or so and then parade to the bathroom safely.

They have sleep phases and you can sort of figure it out.. in my dd case it is circa 45 minutes so once she is sound asleep for the first time then I give her the ten or so minutes and I know I am good till the 45 is over...
they usually toss, turn or snore or smack their mouth or anything.. this is when they sleep lightly and anything will wake them up. Once this passes in another 15 or so .. then you are good for another 45 minutes or so.. and so on.

My dd will wake up on every passing car on the street middle of night depending on which phase it will fall.. if it is sound asleep then nothing will wake her up... but in those light phases anything goes..

Read more about sleep phases and you will figure it out too.

As to waking up all night long few things helped us to reduce amount of waking but then again.. we always nursed on demand. I figured at some point to have a bottle with water tha I could offer middle of night in additon or instead of nursing as it was many times about thirst not so much nursing..
or nursing was just to take edge off and then she would ask for water..

lastly feeding her cooked oatmeal as a supper before going to bed did miracles as she was not hungry and did not wake up ten times a night..

oh.. also as much as I despise the diaper cream we did give in finally as I noticed that no matter what the urine at some point did contribute to night wake ups, we tried few times to put quite a lot for the night to see if it will make a difference and it made tremendous.
but then again she was using diapers for quite a while..

so desitin turned acutally to cut many night wakings as I did not realize how much of an issue this was as there was no indication as there was no diaper rash or anythigng yet it just helped to calm and sooth this area.

Other then that you might work deal with your husband .. do the
magic switch.. when you need to go to the batroom first ask your hubby to
roll over and switch places with you and he will cuddle with your little one
for a while untill the little one will think it is actually you which in sleep is e asy trick.. and then you sneak out go to pee and come back and do the shuffle again









always trick to any of this is never act fast.. and give five minutes after every such a trick as they are most "smeling rat" when you act fast
and want to do things now.

Lastly.. if all falls.. go for "Depends" it is like puting yourself in their position ha ha ha..


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## Mommy2Haley (Oct 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *D_McG* 
When DS was an infant I would bring him. With DD I just figured she'd have to get used to being without me for 2 minutes. And she did in no time at all.

I also learned this later on with DD1 and just kept going with DD2. DH usually springs into action and frankly, since we are an attachment parenting, cosleeping FAMILY he'll share in the responsibilities regardless of his needing to go to work. He didn't help me out with DD1 until she was almost 2 and I was pregnant again; now he's more readily willing to assist. It doesn't necessarily work but at least I know he's not sleeping through her crying while I pee.

Sorry if that sounds cranky. I just got out of bed to pee (funny, eh) and DD2 threw a fit within 2 minutes. DH wasn't much help and I'm irritated.







Can't a mama pee?


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## billikengirl (Sep 12, 2008)

I either bring the 9 month old, or hold it and wish for Depends.


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## Ruby2 (Aug 18, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *billikengirl* 
I either bring the 9 month old, or hold it and wish for Depends.

I was just wishing for Depends last night! I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing serious damage to my bladder because of this...

My scenario is that I wake up when dd (9mos) starts to fuss and I automatically switch sides and let her latch on. THEN I realize that I really have to pee. But by the time she's done nursing, I'm sleeping again. Repeat a few hours later, but with much more desperation. If only I could stay awake or wake up when dd is sleeping! I'm considering setting an alarm or something! It's so traumatic to have to unlatch dd when she's half asleep and run to the bathroom. Dh trys to comfort her, but all she wants is to nurse and go back to sleep.







So I avoid it and just hold it. Probably not good in the long run.


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## hennaLisa (Jan 22, 2009)

I've definitely been there many nights. I've found that if I can put my sheet between him and me, and gently roll out of bed, he often won't notice. My son is 2.5, but this trick has been working pretty well for a while. Otherwise, if he wakes to pee, I take him, and let him go, then hold him on my lap while I go, then carry him back to bed. My hubby discovered a while ago that most of his night wakings are because he needed to pee!


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## doulawoman (Mar 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LauraN* 
I carefully place my pillow where my body was and dash to the bathroom. My pilow is warm and smellls like me and usually fools the baby just long enough to let me pee.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## shotmama (Sep 6, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nicole730* 
Could you bring him with you? I'm thinking that could work if you don't need to put lights on. And he will fall right back asleep when you get back to bed.

that is some skill, mama! if that were me, walking in the dark is the same as letting a belligerent drunkard roam free.

but seriously, i have the same pee problem! i make sure to nurse the LO, and then she usually lulls enough back to sleep and i wake DH to pat her a little while i stumble to the bathroom. sometimes she notices i left and screams, but not often.


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## aeiou (Apr 16, 2008)

We have a routine where I get up to use the bathroom when my dh gets up for work and while I'm in the bathroom, he changes dd's diaper. Then dd and I get back in bed and go back to sleep after dh goes to work. It's good to know I'm not the only one with a baby who wakes up immediately if she's not touching me. (She's getting better, though. The other day she fell asleep and I put her down and took a shower and she slept almost the entire time! It was crazy!)


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## larzanna (Jan 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aeiou* 
We have a routine where I get up to use the bathroom when my dh gets up for work and while I'm in the bathroom, he changes dd's diaper. Then dd and I get back in bed and go back to sleep after dh goes to work. It's good to know I'm not the only one with a baby who wakes up immediately if she's not touching me. (She's getting better, though. The other day she fell asleep and I put her down and took a shower and she slept almost the entire time! It was crazy!)

you both get up/stand up that close to morning, AND your DD gets her diaper changed and you both fall back asleep??!! WOW.

also WOW to anyone who can pick up their LO and take them with you and then get them back to sleep. Man, my DS he would be up in a heartbeat...time to play if i did all that!!

I have just stopped drinking anything at all after dinner, and i try (not very well i am sure) to make up for it during the day.

Thanks for the ideas and letting me know that i am for sure not the only one with this problem! I think in a few more months DS will be old enough to "get it" (while half asleep) if i tell him "that i am going to pee"

-L


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## MamieCole (Jun 1, 2007)

With DS1, I was just pretty much trapped all night. He was SUCH a light sleeper...had to have his head on my arm, woke up the instant I tried to move it...took forever to get him back to sleep. Just wasn't worth it.

Now with DS2, I have no choice but to get up when I feel the urge to pee. My bladder ruptured during labor and I simply cannot risk doing damage to an already fragile organ. So most of the time I bring him with me. He usually nurses throughout the whole thing. He is getting heavier and bigger and harder to manage, so I have found that if I can force myself to stay awake until he goes into deep sleep, I can usually go pee, no flush (the flush wakes him instantly) and be back before he wakes up...sometimes.


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## wombato (Jul 24, 2009)

That gave me a new idea - a stack of prefolds next to the bed for ME! Haha!

Sometimes I get up and have him follow me, if it's 5 am or later. Otherwise, I take him. At this point (16 months), the carrying usually keeps him sleepy enough to go back to sleep on his own. But also sooooo heavy, about 30 pounds!

One time I had to pee so badly - in a parking garage and did not want to spend a minute longer not on the road to home - I used one of the disposable diapers. I put such effort into peeing as slowly as possible - and was tremendously disappointed when the diaper failed to contain it all and the pee went into the seat.


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## wombato (Jul 24, 2009)

Your bladder ruptured?? Mama! Sounds rough! Whoa!

On the subject of bladders and labor, in later labor, mine somehow started filling up and wouldn't drain. I failed to realize, because I'd pee a trickle, and my midwife was taking note of how often I went to pee but not how much. After my midwife broke the waters, she could see it through my skin. Naturally, I was catheterized. Eek. My bladder is fine now.


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## MamieCole (Jun 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombato* 
One time I had to pee so badly - in a parking garage and did not want to spend a minute longer not on the road to home - I used one of the disposable diapers. I put such effort into peeing as slowly as possible - and was tremendously disappointed when the diaper failed to contain it all and the pee went into the seat.











Been stuck in traffic and did this before.







It is crazy how you can have to pee SO badly, then when you resign yourself to finally resorting to a diaper it is incredibly difficult to make yourself pee. Your body is like, you want me to do what? Where?







Or maybe that's just me. LOL


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## wombato (Jul 24, 2009)

Oh, I had that happen too for a minute. I sat there relaxing and trying to let it go, but that ingrained mind-body connection says something like "no! wrong place to pee! wrong place to pee!"

I just discussed this with my husband, who says he doesn't have these issues because, as he puts it, he is used to whipping it out and peeing anywhere.


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## MamieCole (Jun 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombato* 
Your bladder ruptured?? Mama! Sounds rough! Whoa!

On the subject of bladders and labor, in later labor, mine somehow started filling up and wouldn't drain. I failed to realize, because I'd pee a trickle, and my midwife was taking note of how often I went to pee but not how much. After my midwife broke the waters, she could see it through my skin. Naturally, I was catheterized. Eek. My bladder is fine now.

Whoa...glad it turned out ok with you.

And yes, it was a little crazy there for a bit for me. Worst part was having to have a catheter for weeks afterward while my bladder healed. Ugh.







Let's just say "bladder rupture" wasn't on my radar for potential things to prepare for during labor. It's all good now. I had really great urology surgeons. And although my bladder is slightly smaller now, I can't tell a difference in my bladder capacity. I just don't wanna put undue stress on it now. Whereas before I would/could hold my pee forever.


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## aeiou (Apr 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *larzanna* 
you both get up/stand up that close to morning, AND your DD gets her diaper changed and you both fall back asleep??!! WOW.
-L


We have a weird sleep schedule, though. We don't get in bed until around 10. Then, DH gets up for work around 5.30-6 so it's still mostly dark out. We get back in bed and usually sleep for 2.5 to 3 hours at least. It takes me a while to get back to sleep, but it takes me a while to fall asleep at night, too. DD naps on my lap during the day, so I sometimes get trapped then, too. I try to plan when I drink my tea and use the bathroom so I'm not waking her up from her nap early.


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## maptome (Feb 13, 2010)

I used to feel trapped, but then, I just decided to pee and if she wakes up, no big deal. She gets up all night already. It just sucks when our wakings aren't in sync.


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