# Unbelievable! Foster-adopt mom told she cant rf!



## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

I'm sooo pissed right now.

I am a foster parent and a friend of mine is adopting three kids through my agency. Right now they are just doing pre-adopt visitation, with the kids spending about ten days before having to return to their foster home for one night. This whole case has turned into a nightmare, the kids were "supposed" to move in last winter and instead they have been doing this long drawn out visitation for six months. There has been so much drama that i wont even go into, and i have also been having problems with this stupid agency over all sorts of things. Both of us are jumping ship soon to a different agency because this one is so incompetent.

But this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back...a foster care worker was picking up the youngest child to take to a medical appointment. My friend has the girl sitting rearfacing in a Complete Air car seat. (I have the same one for my 2.5 yr old.) She is 3 yrs old and weighs about 23 pounds or so...very underweight. This is a child who may have undiagnosed developmental issues (CP?), has trouble walking (my friend had to tote her around in a sling at the museum because she couldnt walk the whole way), her gait is unusual, my friend says she cant ever leave her unattended in the tub because she'd fall right over. So...not exactly a typical 3+ yr old in development anyway. My friend showed the worker how to rearface the carseat.

Yesterday she was told by a licensing specialist that it was "against agency policy" to have children rearfacing past age 12 months (!!!!!!!







) and that she was NOT ALLOWED to rearface the girl. My friend went into great detail with them about the AAP regs, safety stuff, etc etc to no avail. The agency actually wants her to decrease the safety of this child. Frankly i suspect they think she is a big weirdo...i can only imagine "no wonder the child can't walk properly she keeps her all scrunched up in that seat like a baby!"









I wish they would DARE tell me to turn my foster son around, i'd refuse. But her case is so tentative that until she gets adoption placement papers in place she can't rock the boat too much or they could just refuse to let her adopt her kids.

But....isnt that just the craziest thing???

I really think they are misunderstanding the guidelines...you know how when people read the side of the seat and it says "forward facing ONLY after one year old!" (or something similar) and they think it means that you can only ff after age one (when really it means you can't ff before age one)...i just hate when people who know nothing about a subject spout off about it. I can GUARANTEE you that there are children with this agency not even in carseats, and certainly not in boosters before age 8 (which is new state law.) These very same foster children were not properly restrained in their foster home. Its sick really, that the agency would do this. They are even sending her "a letter" about it!!!!

Should i email or write the Director with info about carseat safety??? its just insane.


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## becca_howell (Jan 3, 2009)

If it were me, I'd advise my friend to send the director sources (carseat.org, aap info) on RF, but I'd keep my mouth shut till I was confronted about RF.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

Get a local CPST to write a letter explaining why RFing is safer overall and especially for that particular child. Dorel has a 34" minimum to FF in the Complete Air, so that child may not even be able to FF legally in that seat.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

I'd also want to see the EXACT rules, not just some letter from someone at the agency. Anyone can say, "These are the rules" and be lying because it's THEIR personal belief.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I agree wtih AFWife - I'd ask to see the actual written policy.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Another vote for wanting to see it 'in writing'. IME lots of people like to spout off stuff htat they have no reason/right in doing so.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

My guess is that there is no policy beyond following the laws of your state and the person who your friend spoke to misread the 1 year and 20lbs law for your state.

A letter from a CPST or three outlining the state law and how it's a minimum might help matters.

Meanwhile, I hope your friend has LATCH so she can stop around the corner and change the seat when they have to go by the agency.


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