# 13 month old won't nap -- help!



## pegapple (Apr 21, 2004)

My daughter is 13 months and will not take either the morning or afternoon nap anymore. I have just tried for 45 minutes while she screamed and gave up. This means 30 minutes for the whole day.

I am able to nurse her down for about 20-30 minutes and she is wide awake. I have tried sleeping with her and it doesn't make any difference. And the result is that she is cranky most of the afternoon and then falls asleep around 5pm for her "nap" -- then is tired again at 8 (her usual bedtime) but won't go down without a huge tantrum and several nursings. It's been at least 1 1/2 hours to get her to bed at night the last week, since the naps are all messed up.

I tried holding her while she screams and putting her down while she screams and neither calms her. My husband can't help these days either, she flips out if he tried to put her to sleep instead of me, so that makes her just get wound up again. I'm at the end of my rope -- with the frequent night nursing I'm just too exhausted to do this three times a day or more. Please I need your advice, counsel and wisdom.


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## raleigh_mom (Jan 11, 2004)

I don't know about having any wisdom, but I thought I'd respond anyway.









You didn't say what time she is getting up in the morning. I'm guessing about 7 or 8 am? I'd try a couple different things. You say she naps for about 30 mins in the morning. Sounds about like my 13 mo dd. That's workable. In the afternoon, I'd try a quiet play time. We go upstairs (3yo and 13mo and me) and play in my bedroom about 3pm. If nobody goes to sleep, we stay for one hour while I can rest on my bed. The 3yo plays on the floor or in her room. The baby usually crawls around on the bed or gets down with her sister. This gives me a chance to have some rest time, and the girls actually get some rest, and maybe even a nap.

Fresh air has also been a big help. How about pushing her for a 30min-1 hour walk in the afternoon or evening? Or going for a car ride? That's a big nap trick for us.

Also maybe consider trying different bed times. My kids usually end up asleep around 9. If there is a long afternoon nap, maybe even later. Then we are up around 8am. If they seem tired earlier and haven't had a nap, we might go to bed at 7:30 that night.

You also mentioned lots of night time nursing. Are you cosleeping? If not, I'd recommend it at least until things have settled down some. It took me quite a bit of practice, but now I can nurse her while we are still both mostly asleep.

Actually, I'm headed upstairs now with very sleepy girls. Good luck! I hope you get lots of suggestions, and can start getting some rest.


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## OTMomma (Aug 12, 2003)

We went through a stage of this. It really is tough. My quick tips are:1. Try to not feel stressed yourself that the schedule isn't working, stressing won't help. 2. When my dd seems to want to nurse and nurse and nurse at bed time I recognize that she may really be hungry, so we get out of bed and get a snack. Some food before nursing seems to help her go to sleep better both for naps and bed time. 3. If she ends up taking that late evening nap- take her to the park or something after dinner to help wear her down.







I've also found that my dd sleeps better after some intense brain activity like reading the children's encyclopedia. Yes, it does sound nuts, but you do what you gotta do.
Good Luck!


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## pegapple (Apr 21, 2004)

thank you both for your responses -- they are good suggestions. it is so hard not to feel stressed about it. i feel like it's my responsibility to get her napping enough so that she doesnt have to melt down. and i hate to see her crying so hard.

she goes to bed between 8:30 - 9:30 depending on how much she is crying and she is wide awake by 6 or 6:30. with one or two 30 min naps, it really doesnt seem like enough to me.

from about 9 to 12 months we would nurse and then she would lie down in the crib where i would pat her back. then when she woke up to nurse (around 12:30 or so) she comes in the bed and stays until morning. before that she was just in our bed. but she is a complete monkey in bed and rolls all over me and my husband, sideways and longways and it's hard to rest!

last night i kept her in there all night and she seemed to sleep better. i may just forget about the crib transfer for now -- it seems to be bothering her. i didn't even want to use the crib at all but for a while she slept poorly so with us so i reluctantly changed over and she started to do a 3 hour stretch of sleep finally, which made me a better parent. maybe she is trying to tell me it isn't working and i'm slow to catch on.

thanks again. i will try all your ideas. i just keep trying to remember that she is a baby who has huge needs and who is going through so many changes.


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## becca29 (Jan 14, 2003)

We're going through a lot of the same right now. I finally gave up on the crib. We had been using it for naps and for his sleep before we all went to bed. Now I just gave up and have had him sleeping in our bed all the time. He seems to be sleeping better now, but it still takes forever to get him to go to sleep. Lately it's taken both of us going to bed with him, and it takes about an hour and a half to get him down. I know how you feel, it is very frustrating!!!


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## guestmama9907 (Nov 24, 2003)

my life saver is my stroller. dd, also 13 months, gets very tired and cranky and i know she needs a nap but will not settle down. when this happens i put her in the stroller and go back and forth in the living room until she is asleep. this seems to work better than going outside, more calming, less distractions. she also seems to stay asleep longer in the stroller than in the bed. good luck!


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## Liliana (Jan 13, 2004)

One other thougt: Is she getting her molars? Teething pain can disrupt sleep for a while.


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