# Pretend Spankings?



## Agatha_Ann (Apr 5, 2009)

This isn't a huge issue or anything, I was just wondering how other MDC parents feel about this...

We don't use any physical discipline ever, but my DH will play spank the kids when they are being silly or hugs and kisses goodnight and then a swat as they walk away. Sometimes he'll even flip them over his lap and do it. They all think it is HILARIOUS. They squeal and laugh and sometimes provoke it even. I don't think its funny personally, but I also think my kids are just naive to what a spanking really is?

I also wonder if I'm a hypocrite because I sometime say things or pretend things too. Offering to "cut off" a arm that has a scrape or telling them I'm going to throw them right in the trash, etc. Again things they think are so funny, but maybe others wouldn't. I would never say things that would upset them, but DH swatting at them doesn't seem to bother anyone in the house but me either.

My DH isn't even here right now, he's out of state at work, I have just been thinking about it...


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

We play-spank sometimes. It's the same league as tickling here. The kids think it's funny. We've never threatened to spank them and I don't think they know what real spanking is. It's just a form of rough-housing that makes them giggle.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

Yeah we "play spank" we wrestle and dp has a habit of "eating" ds nose. Of course I do not have any fear that dp will one day slice off ds' nose and actually ingest it. Nor do i think that I have any plans to actually "body slam" my baby, but I pretend to a lot.

I have no plans to "get" ds either, but if you walk by my house you might hear me yelling "i'm gonna get you!!!" And although I tell that "i'll never let you go hahahah" I always do.

i think its okay to "pretend" things you would never do ( i have no interest in eating blocks, but i pretend to if they are served to me)


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

My husband does that too, and he tells them to spank my butt. The kids think its hilarious, I think its kind of weird when they do it to me, but thats because spankings have always meant something different to me then it means to my kids. We don't do real spankings here either.

I would imagine that the problem with spanking (for the child) is someone they love trying to hurt them, being embarassed, etc. It doesn't sound like that is the experience your children are walking away with, so I've venture a guess that its completely harmless. I don't imagine a family who uses real spankings could get away with playful spankings without pushing the children out of their comfort zone... in your case it sounds like the kids love it and its a fun game, nothing more, so I wouldn't worry about it.

I am curious to hear what other posters have to say too.


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tbone_kneegrabber* 
Yeah we "play spank" we wrestle and dp has a habit of "eating" ds nose. Of course I do not have any fear that dp will one day slice off ds' nose and actually ingest it. Nor do i think that I have any plans to actually "body slam" my baby, but I pretend to a lot.

I have no plans to "get" ds either, but if you walk by my house you might hear me yelling "i'm gonna get you!!!" And although I tell that "i'll never let you go hahahah" I always do.

i think its okay to "pretend" things you would never do ( i have no interest in eating blocks, but i pretend to if they are served to me)

We do the "I'm gonna get you" game too! And my artist sometimes initiates the game by coming to me and saying "don't catch meeee!" and running away laughing. He will keep coming back and repeating until I chase him. Then we switch roles







:


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

We "play spank" all the time. When the kids are running upstairs I always chase after them saying "I'm gonna spank your butt!" The thing is, they don't know that a "real" spanking hurts and is an act of violence and humiliation. They just see it as fun and games with mom. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this as they get older and learn what a real spanking is. I guess I'm going to watch this thread for some ideas!


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## Agatha_Ann (Apr 5, 2009)

Thank you I feel better that other families do this too! I guess I just am so against spanking that I get anxious whenever I hear the word!

I "eat" my kids all the time too! We also say we are going to ebay or freecycle them














I've also said I'm going to throw you out the window









I guess its just the word spanking because I wouldn't want anyone to chuck my babies out a window either


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Agatha_Ann* 
Thank you I feel better that other families do this too! I guess I just am so against spanking that I get anxious whenever I hear the word!

I "eat" my kids all the time too! We also say we are going to ebay or freecycle them














I've also said I'm going to throw you out the window









I guess its just the word spanking because I wouldn't want anyone to chuck my babies out a window either


























I feel that way too. Sometimes its really hard to separate our feelings from our children's reality.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

We've always played "smack ass."







The only time it caused a problem was when DS was 2-3 and he decided it was a *GREAT* game to play with anyone. Ooops. We just stopped playing until he could understand--- at home only. Many kids don't react well to a 2 year old coming up and attempting to spank them.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
We've always played "smack ass."



















Yeah, we do "spankies" here as well. Silly, I guess.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

We do here. Actually it is a big joke about whips and whippings........they are celery sticks. My dh a long time ago starting chasing the kids around with them.

We also have a lot of bad jokes about dad being mean because he is a chef and beats eggs and whip cream. My dh has a ton of bad jokes that before puberty hit the oldest two they thought were funny. Now we are loosing our coolness.

I have heard him say "I can whip you into something tasty and yummy to" Insights giggles and chasing....well use to they are getting older.


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## mama_ani (Aug 2, 2007)

We play spank here too.
Once I did it at my mom's and she told me that now I ruined spanking & I could never do it "for real" because he thinks it's funny now.







I was okay with that


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

We threaten to sell each other on ebay too.









I also have a little lullabye I like to sing:
_Hush little baby don't say a word
Mama's going to buy you a mocking bird
And if you can't be quiet
Mama's going to put you in the closet_


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
We threaten to sell each other on ebay too.









I also have a little lullabye I like to sing:
_Hush little baby don't say a word
Mama's going to buy you a mocking bird
And if you can't be quiet
Mama's going to put you in the closet_











I put a pirate flag (scull and cross bones) in the kids' bathroom. It says "Beatings will continue until moral improves."


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## Mal85 (Sep 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4inMyHeart3inArms* 

I would imagine that the problem with spanking (for the child) is someone they love trying to hurt them, being embarassed, etc. It doesn't sound like that is the experience your children are walking away with, so I've venture a guess that its completely harmless. I don't imagine a family who uses real spankings could get away with playful spankings without pushing the children out of their comfort zone... in your case it sounds like the kids love it and its a fun game, nothing more, so I wouldn't worry about it.


You would think, but I know my sister spanks for real (we have very different parenting styles). But she can also "play-spank" and the kids still think it's funny. They definitely know the difference between punishment and playfulness. I also "play-spank" the same kids and they think it's funny. Of course, I've never spanked them for real so they know I'm never serious about it.


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

I guess different kids will just have different reactions









I was a kid once and my mom told me to get on her lap. She meant to sit on her lap for a snuggle but I thought she wanted to spank me and I was trying to figure out what I had done wrong and I was crying. I don't think play spanking would have went over well for me as a child, but I'm only one person and I was only one child







Can really only venture these guesses on my own experiences. Thanks for opening my mind to another possibility. I think we'll stick to not real-spanking though lol


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## hedgewitch (Jan 24, 2008)

I do 'smack your bum' as I chase my son up the stairs. He thinks it is funny. We don't smack in our house so their is no resonance for him. I can imagine that if we did it would not be something he would find funny, he's that kind of child.

I actually feel really glad we can play this game and that to him 'smacking' is fun and nonsense. We are all so lucky to live in the time we do


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## Lynn08 (Dec 2, 2008)

We "smack butts" here as well. My husband (for some reason







) uses it as a sign of affection. He has smacked my butt from probably our 3rd or 4th date. He even smacks his mom's butt. With our 10mo dd, if her diaper is off, her bare hiney gets smacked (cuz it is so darn cute







).

I have also threatened (dd, as well as neice, nephew, and other random children) to chop off appendages, throw them out a window, sell them to gypsies, break their ears, feed them to the cat, and ummm... probably other things just as silly.









Altho, dh does sometimes (jokingly) threaten to get the belt or he snaps his belt, which I don't like AT ALL because of the connotations I associate with it. But the kids just think it's funny, so he keeps doing it.


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## Shera971 (Nov 26, 2008)

Yep, we do "spankings" too. I can't help myself - DS' butt is just so darn cute! I also try to pull off appendages to eat them. He thinks its hilarious when I become 'upset' that they don't come off. "Do it again mommy! Pretend to eat me!"
Another friend off mine has a rule in her house that naked bums are for spanking. Her two girls would purposely take off their pants and run around the house squealing trying to get away.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4inMyHeart3inArms* 
I was a kid once and my mom told me to get on her lap. She meant to sit on her lap for a snuggle but I thought she wanted to spank me and I was trying to figure out what I had done wrong and I was crying.

You're the second person here to tell almost this exact story in the last few weeks. It honestly makes me feel ill. I was spanked, and I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to not be able to tell whether my mom wanted to spank me or snuggle with me!

OP: We don't play spank, but it's because I've hit each of my kids (ds1 a few times when he was little, and dd & ds2 once each). They do know what it means to be smacked, and I don't want to confuse them, yk?

We do, otoh, frequently "threaten" to eat them up for dinner...


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

That is heartbreaking to me to hear that others have been in the same or similar situations, yet I have heard similar stories over the years too. I think it can be confusing for many children. Obviously as a previous poster pointed out though, not all children feel that way. I haven't given it much thought though, so who knows?


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## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

We do play-spank, and she loves it. We also pretend to cook and eat her, and threaten to sell both her and the cat to the traveling circus.

I agree, it's so nice to be able to play these games without any overtones of real punishment or anxiety, because we've never spanked her for real.


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## katbomumof3 (Sep 16, 2007)

I offer up spankings all the time








THe kids think i'm ridiculous, b/c they know i won't do it. DD2 "spanks" ds any time he has a diaper off, b/c his butt is cute. I'm raising another generation of play spankers


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4inMyHeart3inArms* 
That is heartbreaking to me to hear that others have been in the same or similar situations, yet I have heard similar stories over the years too. I think it can be confusing for many children. Obviously as a previous poster pointed out though, not all children feel that way. I haven't given it much thought though, so who knows?

I suspect it's something in the way spankings are handled. I'd _never_ heard of that kind of confusion before. Everybody I knew had more of a "uh,oh - we're in for it now" reaction when a spanking was coming...but there was no confusion. I certainly never found myself wondering what I'd done, because I already knew.

I think people's experiences with spanking are all over the map. (Mind you, I think people's experiences of _not_ being spanked are all over the map, too. I have one friend who was never, ever spanked, and who told me more than once that she'd have preferred it, by far, over the methods her mom used - lots of shaming and silent treatment and belittling remarks.) There are _so_ many variables.


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

I guess it depends on if the child had ever been spanked for something they didn't do? I only know a few people who were spanked growing up, and our parents all parented similarly (our parents were friends, and got parenting advice from each other). We all had a few spankings for things we hadn't done, yet I don't think we all experienced the same thing I did, just that overall confusion.

I agree Storm. Even 2 children who are exposed to the same parenting can have different experiences, personality and personal interpretation of life are one of those many variables.

I admit I am unsure what caused the confusion for me at the time though. My mother and father never spanked me without first telling me why. I wonder if she had just finished talking to me about something and I was taking that as the pre-spanking talk... but I don't remember the whole story so I can't say.


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## Landover (Oct 12, 2007)

We do play rough a lot, and I regularly "get" both of my children. However, I don't use the word "spank" because I don't want my DS to repeat it and others think that we do spank him. One time my DS saw my neice spanked and just before my SIL spanked her she said, "I'm going to get your tail." A few days later I told my DS that I was going to "get him" and he looked a little strange. I asked what was wrong, and he told me the story of my niece being spanked. It really freaked him out when he heard me use almost the same exact words and come after him (despite the fact that we have never some anywhere close to hitting him). I honestly think that until that moment, he didn't realize that a grown up hitting a small child was a possibility in the world. So sad.... Anyway, we just avoid any confusion and don't use the word spank.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Landover* 
However, I don't use the word "spank" because I don't want my DS to repeat it and others think that we do spank him.

A few weeks ago one of the kids at the daycare I work at told me "My mommy spanked me last night". Uhhh... okay. I asked why and the girl told me "I don't know.... for fun?". I asked if she thought it was fun and she reacted with a big grin and a "Yeah! I was running all around the house and mommy was chasing me!". I have a feeling it was a "play spank" and not a real one


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

I play DS's butt cheeks like bongo drums sometimes, but I always tell him he's "a drum" and never use thhe word "spank."


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## JessicaTX (Jul 9, 2006)

Well, living in the freaking spanking capital of the world (at least it seems that way) I play spank my children often. I lean then over my knee and tell them i'm going to beat them up and do that shiatsuish massage up their backs, or sing a song about spanking my little babies while i pat their bottoms like a drum. We do it all in fun, and I purposely chose to use the word spank so that when the disapproving granny at the supermarket says something like "that little girl needs a spanking to straighten up" they won't associate it with someone wanting them to be hurt for their big feelings. Now that they are older they understand more of what is meant, but I really tried to protect them from that while they were little.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rebeccajo* 
We play-spank sometimes. It's the same league as tickling here. The kids think it's funny. We've never threatened to spank them and I don't think they know what real spanking is. It's just a form of rough-housing that makes them giggle.

Same here


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## Astrogirl (Oct 23, 2007)

We play spank here too, and my kids think its hilarious. Its a slippery slope depending on the kids but for my kids, since they will play spank us or each other too, it has taught them the difference between playing and really hitting someone so that it hurts. For instance my older daughter would NEVER hit her sister and hurt her, but she has learned just how to playfully pat her butt and my little one just howls with laughter. I love to see them playing so that they can show they know the boundaries, it gives me a lot of confidence in their behaviour.

As for me, its also taught me how ineffectual spanking would actually be in our family.







There's something about me that I could never bring myself to hit a child passed a certain amount of "force", which is barely beyond what I've done in play spanking - so if I were ever into spanking them for real, I'm certain they would just laugh at me.


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## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

We play "smacky-bumy" here too. DH sits in his swivel chair and rolls all around the flat, chasing DD, telling DD he's going to smack her bum! She loves it! We're not planning on ever spanking for real (obviously!) so I don't mind if it 'ruins' spanking!!


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

We play spank and things like that (DH more than I). I often give DS little pats on the butt.

And I threaten to bring DS to the baby pound if he doesn't behave.









As long as everyone is laughing and having fun, I see no problem with it.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

As a family we play-smack ALL. THE. TIME.







:

DD smacks back and does an hilarious 180degree wind up to add to the drama. I also give her "beatings" (chase down the hall and tickle) and she is often subjected to "leg for soup" (where one drags the child down the hall shouting about how you need a leg to make soup, into the kitchen and get the biggest possible knife out - we often have to stop bcause DD laughs so much she chokes on her spit.) We don't use physical punishments of any kind and i don't care if women on the bus think i beat or smack.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Welll.....our silly games get a bit more "violent" than some of yours!! What can I do...I have a HUGE one year old who is so chunky I just want to EAT HER!

So, we play:

~ Oh my gosh, I'm going to chop you up and ROAST YOU! And then "chop chop chop" all over her and GULP her down! She thinks this is HILARIOUS!

~ I'm going to sell you off to a band of gypsies!! And throw her over our shoulders, and then "stomp, stomp, stomp" off to find the caravan...as we stomp along, she wiggles and waggles and loves bouncing all around

~ My DH also plays "You are naughty...this is your new home now!" and she *gasps* in a really exagerated way and starts slolwy squealing and making little "Eeeeeee' noises, because she knows what's going to happen....then, my DH SCOOPS! her up and whisks her off to the dryer, where he pretend "stuffs" her in, like he can't fit her...and then plops her inside where she just about DIES laughing. Now...THIS game, I don't like...because it's teaching her to climb inside appliances for fun...but our dryer is situation in such a way that she couldn't climb into it on her own, so...I don't know. They LOVE this game.

Yeah...we play spank, play eat, play stuff into things....she loves all of it. But I think that it is not confusing and not actually violent, because she has never ever been yelled at, hit, spanked, etc...she's never been grabbed by the arm, anything like that when she has been "naughty"...but then...our motto around here is "Life is short...fill it with mischief" - We LOVE mischief around here...in my house growing up, we had NO mischief...it was all trouble trouble, spanking, grabbing, hitting, pinching, yelling, throwing things...then, hit repeat! So..we never enjoyed being tickled, snuggled or otherwise roughoused with. Which makes me sad...because to this day I'm not ticklish...it just makes me feel sick to be tickled.

SO...I think if you spank your kids in earnest...you should NOT fake spank them, because that's wrong, confusing, the list goes on. But if you do NOT use hands for any kind of violent act with your kids...play spank away! I see it as loving touch. I see it as a mockery of violence as a way to punish..you know? If think it's great is "spanking time" for your kids is a time of running, laughing, gilggling and then eventually being caught and getting a "spanking" that results in fun laughter and then cuddling. That sounds pleasant to me.

Plus...omg...I say, spank those chubby little baby butts while you got 'em! GOSH are they adorable!! They get so big and stinky in NO TIME...so, get 'em while you can!!


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## RufusBeans (Mar 1, 2004)

Sometimes she has a "little spanky bottom", sometimes its "a little tooty bottom", and other times it's a "little pinchy bottom" after a bath she run around the bed yelling "spank my bottom!" and runs just out of my reach. We also do "I ate you all up!" we both do it to each other.

One time when she was younger she patted my breast and said "little spanky milkie" she thought that was soooo funny. This is a game between her and I, she's never done or mentioned it to anyone else.


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## Just Elsa (May 18, 2009)

My life would be a hollow shell if I couldn't paddle my kid's butt on the way up the bunk bed ladder.









It doesn't hurt or humiliate him, it's a game. I consider it like the rough housing he and HusbandMan do.


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## JavaJunkie (Jan 16, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
(Mind you, I think people's experiences of _not_ being spanked are all over the map, too. I have one friend who was never, ever spanked, and who told me more than once that she'd have preferred it, by far, over the methods her mom used - lots of shaming and silent treatment and belittling remarks.)

That's how it was with me and my mom, too. I completely agree with your friend.

ETA: We do play spankings here, too.


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## Raene (Jul 24, 2008)

I do that too, though sometimes I wish I hadn't started that game. She doesn't know what a real spanking is like so when I pretend, she thinks it's funny and will ask for a spanking. Not really where I wanted to be going with that game.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

We do the play "spankies" too. The kids think it's hilarious, and they try to do it back until all of us (adults and kids) are chasing eachother in circles laughing. I find it oddly funny when the kids are misbehaving in public and someone says something to the extent of "what that kid needs is a good spanking" and the kids think it means something fun like the game.







: Spankies go along with threatening to eat their toes for us...the kids love it! They know that neither of them will hurt or is something that happened because they were naughty.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

I just want to say, mamas, that I'm so happy to be around all of you!!

It makes me so happy to imagine all of your children, not knowing a hand of violence. I get so upset when I see a handshy kiddo...and so happy to think of your little ones giggling in the super market when a crochety busy body tells you that you should spank them!

Hands really ARE for loving...thank you all, for making my world a better place, and a better place for my kids, with your loving hands and hearts!!







:







:







:

It's just so hard sometimes, with all the people around you who spank and slap kids...to remember that there are others like you, who would never be able to face their children, if they hit them or hurt them. I couldn't bear to break that love and trust I see in my childs eyes...by hitting her. I feel like that would just change things between us and it makes me tear up to think of it.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

We do everything you mentioned and then some . . . threatening "beatings" for minor infractions, etc. The kids find it all hilarious, and do it right back.

Being gentle doesn't mean being humorless, for goodness sake!


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I am really glad to see other mama's do this. 'Specially GD mama's.

Threats of "a beatin'" occurs regularly in our house too. It's part of the get'cha game: I'm gonna eat you up, and beat you up and tickle you all over and then throw you in the ocean!







It works wonders with my toddler when he's grumpy, he thinks it's hilarious.







When he started fighting bedtime and diaper changes around 18 months, I developed a whole patter--I'm going to put him in a box and send him to the bears, and they will take one bite of him and spit him out cause he's so grumpy, and they'll box him up and send him to the sharks and they will take one bite and spit him out....and so on until somebody boxes him up and sends him back to me, and then I will hug him and tickle him until he's happy. Usually, we don't even get to the bears taking a bite of him before he's giggling like crazy.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

DS is under constant "threat" of being eaten.

I tell DS that "you are so sweet I am going to eat you all up" followed by pretend gobbling up of various body parts.

We have nick names - butter is the soft part under the chin, puddin' for the belly, bacon for the back of the thighs and so on.

He howls and squeals with delight when we "bite" him.

We also do gentle little patties on his butt when he prances around naked after his bath. How can you not?

We have never hit DS so he thinks, rightly so, that these interactions are loving, physical play.

(Full disclosure - DS went thru a hitting stage a year ago and clocked me full force in the face. I slapped his face. It like an uncontrolable animal reaction. I felt absolutely awful.)


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caneel* 
<snip>

(Full disclosure - DS went thru a hitting stage a year ago and clocked me full force in the face. I slapped his face. It like an uncontrolable animal reaction. I felt absolutely awful.)


You know, I often think to myself "Being gentle is so easy...why do any parents HIT?" - but then a soft voice in the back of my head thinks "Patience young mother...your time will come! SHe's but a babe for now...but soon she's be older and full of beans!" -









I know that I will come to a point where I find myself having a hard time keeping my voice down, that a day will come where she will do something that will literally make me want to "wring her neck" - but you know...if you can say for yourself, when all is said and done...that you were always gentle...that you loved, that your child knew to trust you because you used your hands for loving instead of hurting...it's not going to matter, when you throw in "except for that one time when you clocked me and I smacked you back before I could even think about it!" - or "welll...then there was that time when you were 12 and ran away and I was so mad and worried that I yelled so hard at you when you came back!" - it's all in how you feel about it afterwards, you know? Some parents would hit and then think "that'll teach 'em to hit ME"...that wasn't where your heart was, you know?

I love your nicknames...I've got myself a butter and bacon baby too..mmmmm!


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

*(Full disclosure - DS went thru a hitting stage a year ago and clocked me full force in the face. I slapped his face. It like an uncontrolable animal reaction. I felt absolutely awful.)[/*

When I did this, it was so strange and disturbing - so very, very distrubing - because it was like some primal urge over-rode all rational thinking.

It addition to hitting, DS would bite me without warning. We would be cuddling and wham, a bite to the neck. He routinely broke the skin. He gave me two, seperate black eyes, countless fat lips and cracked a bone in my nose.

This was a very sad period. DH and I both worked with him one on one several times a day for weeks on end. Now sooner would DS say he understood and apologize, he would start hitting/biting again.

The day of the slap I came to understand how someone, when threatened and/or under extreme stress, was capable to doing things they would never, never, never do when in their normal mind.

It sounds totally stupid to say I was threated by my DS but looking back on it, I was always on guard and waiting for the next punch or bite. I think my reaction was one of self-preservation - fighting back against the bully for lack of a better example.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Caneel* 
*(Full disclosure - DS went thru a hitting stage a year ago and clocked me full force in the face. I slapped his face. It like an uncontrolable animal reaction. I felt absolutely awful.)[/*

When I did this, it was so strange and disturbing - so very, very distrubing - because it was like some primal urge over-rode all rational thinking.

It addition to hitting, DS would bite me without warning. We would be cuddling and wham, a bite to the neck. He routinely broke the skin. He gave me two, seperate black eyes, countless fat lips and cracked a bone in my nose.

This was a very sad period. DH and I both worked with him one on one several times a day for weeks on end. Now sooner would DS say he understood and apologize, he would start hitting/biting again.

The day of the slap I came to understand how someone, when threatened and/or under extreme stress, was capable to doing things they would never, never, never do when in their normal mind.

It sounds totally stupid to say I was threated by my DS but looking back on it, I was always on guard and waiting for the next punch or bite. I think my reaction was one of self-preservation - fighting back against the bully for lack of a better example.

I totally get that. I'd imagine you were HORRIFIED!









My DD is going through a biting thing...but it's more just an over-excited thing. She has learned about kissing, lately, and everyone gets so excited when she kisses (omgosh it's so sweet and cute!) that she gets really wound up and will start kissing and kissing and then BITING! That and when she is hungry...she used to be so polite and smack her lips and rub her face in me when she was hungry for milkies...now she bites me as hard as she can!

My DH was like "What should we do?" - I said, well, for now just not make a big deal out of it and hope it passes, the bigger deal we make, the more likely she will be to love it and want to do it. He was like "Are you sure we shouldn't bite her back, I mean, to show her it hurts?" - and he was DEAD serious!







I was like "No, no babe, that's not how you say 'no biting'!!"

Anyway...what are we going to do...we're only parents, not gods...our skills are sooo human!


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## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

I've done that to the cat, when she nipped unexpectedly -- it really is this physical reflex, isn't it? Not conscious at all.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AverysMomma* 
I totally get that. I'd imagine you were HORRIFIED!









My DD is going through a biting thing...but it's more just an over-excited thing. *She has learned about kissing, lately, and everyone gets so excited when she kisses (omgosh it's so sweet and cute!) that she gets really wound up and will start kissing and kissing and then BITING!* That and when she is hungry...she used to be so polite and smack her lips and rub her face in me when she was hungry for milkies...now she bites me as hard as she can!

My DH was like "What should we do?" - I said, well, for now just not make a big deal out of it and hope it passes, the bigger deal we make, the more likely she will be to love it and want to do it. He was like "Are you sure we shouldn't bite her back, I mean, to show her it hurts?" - and he was DEAD serious!







I was like "No, no babe, that's not how you say 'no biting'!!"

Anyway...what are we going to do...we're only parents, not gods...our skills are sooo human!

My bold - I can totally see that playing out. Such big, strong, excited emotions in a little body









In our case, DS's hiting/biting phase literally stopped forever one day.


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## 4inMyHeart3inArms (May 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cappuccinosmom* 
I am really glad to see other mama's do this. 'Specially GD mama's.

Threats of "a beatin'" occurs regularly in our house too. It's part of the get'cha game: I'm gonna eat you up, and beat you up and tickle you all over and then throw you in the ocean!







It works wonders with my toddler when he's grumpy, he thinks it's hilarious.







When he started fighting bedtime and diaper changes around 18 months, I developed a whole patter--I'm going to put him in a box and send him to the bears, and they will take one bite of him and spit him out cause he's so grumpy, and they'll box him up and send him to the sharks and they will take one bite and spit him out....and so on until somebody boxes him up and sends him back to me, and then I will hug him and tickle him until he's happy. Usually, we don't even get to the bears taking a bite of him before he's giggling like crazy.

What a cute story you came up with! It's so clever, I love it!







:


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## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

Their little butts are just so yummy.


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## Quickbeam (Jan 6, 2009)

We never hit or otherwise physically manhandle DS. And he's never seen anyone get spanked. So he thinks it's hilarious when my sister (we are in the South, so imagine this with an accent) asks him "Are you ready for your heiney spankin'?"

I always tell him I'm going to eat him and he runs away laughing. Sounds like we're pretty typical this way.


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## karemore (Oct 7, 2008)

Wow, I am so glad to read all this!

My DD loves to have her bottom smacked and it had me a little concerned....







It usually ends up with kiss smacks and tickles. It's always good natured and never hurts.

We made up a silly name, so people wouldn't think I'm really spanking the kid.

We call it "smack-a-doodle whack", or smack for short.

I just asked her if she knows what a spank is and she said no, I asked her what a smack is and she said a whack on the butt.


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