# 18 month old runs away from me outside



## ilovemygirl (Sep 8, 2008)

And I mean RUN and FAR away. She won't even stop for one second if I call her name. I want to let her explore but this is really not safe. I've explained in really simple words to stay with mommy but she's still so young...
Any ideas? What do/did you do with your toddlers?


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## jake&zaxmom (May 12, 2004)

Oh, gosh...I really, really struggled with this. My older son, Jake, was SUCH a runner! When we would go to a playground, all of the other little ones stayed pretty close to their mothers. Not my kid! His goal was always the center line of the road. Seriously. If you called his name or shouted, he just laughed and ran faster.

We don't (have never) used any kind of physical punishment and my parents kinda gave me a hard time about it with lots of "if you spanked him once, he wouldn't do that anymore" comments. I even had a couple of "spanked is better than hit by a car" conversations with my husband.

Ultimately there was no easy solution. We carried him, used the stroller when he was agreeable to it, held his hand and occasionally used a harness/leash. I talked with him over and over and over and over about WHY he shouldn't run and I looked for places where he *could* run safely and I explained the difference between the two.

One day, he just *got it* and our younger son was never a problem.

This too shall pass, until then...wear running shoes









Oh! The other day, we were crossing a busy road and I grabbed Jake's hand. Except that *I* hold his wrist/forearm. He asked why I've always done that and got the whole "when you were little you used to run away from me" story. I started holding his wrist back then because if we held hands, he would just let go and run away before I could react. Holding his wrist didn't give him that option. I had to chuckle as I didn't realize that I was still doing that.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Normal and frustrating all at the same time. Both my boys did that. The second one at 20 months still does. We just reinforce, reinforce (with reminders to stay by mommy, then me running after him, then sometimes going home). They grow out of it, they do. At about 2 or so it gets better. Until then, yep, invest in running shoes.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

Yep, get good comfortable shoes for yourself when out and about. I realized that I have a hard time catching up to dd if I'm wearing sandals, so I bought myself a nice pair of cute trail running shoes.

She "gets" it now and actually independently grabs my hand when we cross the street, but it was really scary for a while back when she had zero safety awareness.

I was also very selective on where I took her. We would stay on walking paths that didn't cross streets as much as possible, and also went to parks that were somewhat enclosed (either by fences or by landscaping). I gave her the opportunity to just run in safe places to "honor the impulse", which helped a lot, too. Also, she tended to run away and not listen when she was tired, so we attempted to be very aware of her state so that we weren't chasing after a cranky toddler who needed a nap.

This too shall pass, mama.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

My ds is a runner and doesn't stop at all. We have a harness for him. It's helping. Now we can walk down to the mail box (it's at the end of our drive way) without him running in to the street. We bought ours at Target and it has a little bear backpack with it.


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## Greenmama2AJ (Jan 10, 2008)

Have you tried having him chase you?
I try teaching this game in a safe space first, like a fenced backyard. When your LO starts to run, say "Eeek, I'm running away" put on a huge goofy smile and "run" really, really slowly in the other direction. If your LO chases you make a big deal about it, kids love this game.
If you play it enough then you can say "Eeek, I'm running away" at the park and your LO will get that its his 'turn' to chase.
Never use this game as a way to grab your child before putting them in the car etc though, otherwise they will think its just a trick to catch them and ignore it.

Never play games where _you_ chase them. (This can be hard for Dad's to resist) Always turn the game around so that they are chasing you.

In dangerous situations like a carpark or near a road it doesn't matter how "good" they are anyway - you should always be close enough to grab them - even kids who stay by Mom can accidently step into traffic


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## mnj77 (Dec 31, 2006)

I have a runner too, and I get frustrated when all the other toddlers I know stay within two feet of their moms and I'm running all over the place scooping mine out of danger and having a mini heart attack every two minutes. I keep telling myself this means she's going to be a leader and an independent spirit, and I'm burning calories keeping up with her!


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

DS1 was like that. I also got pregnant when he was 20 months old, and I just couldn't keep up. He also didn't like to ride in the slig unless he was really tired, thought the stroller was one of Satan's minions, and would immediately drop to the ground if I tried to hold his hand. We finally used a harness, and he loved it.


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## lindsayjean (Jun 17, 2006)

My DD is 20 months and such a wanderer. I try to make a game out of it. Like I'll say "Let's go find daddy!" or "Let's go over here and play in the sand!" or "OOOOOH Roxie look at that pretty flower over here." Haha. If she is running towards danger- like the street or something- I will obviously pick her up and tell her that we're going to move back over here because it's not safe, or something to that effect. I'm hoping she grows out of it someday- at least before we add to our family lol.


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## Purple Cat (Jun 8, 2008)

My twins were like that until they were 3. Seriously, I limited where I took them. I could not keep them safe at the park, so we ended up not going until they were old enough to stay with me. Right before they turned 3, they cooperated enough to stay with me.

I also bought the little teddy bear and monkey harnesses at Target and used them. I had swore I would NEVER put my child in a harness. But after my daughter ran away at Children's Hospital -- with a social worker specifically there to help me watch them! -- and the nursing, maintenance, and security staff could not find her for 15 minutes, I bought the harnesses and started using them, especially in museums, etc. We found her in an exam room. She had shut the door and was happily playing with the paper on teh exam table, completely indifferent to not being with me. Scary.


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

I'd get a harness. I used to think that they looked awful (when I was a teenager) but I realise now that they are for SAFETY. I will probably use one when DD is running around. The ones that are made to look like monkey backpacks look really cute. Just be sure not to walk him like a dog, tugging on the leash... guide him with your hands like you would if he weren't wearing it - just use it so he can't BOLT.


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