# bring toddler to a DMB concert?



## sprouthead (Jul 14, 2007)

I'm not posting this in the Toddler sub-forum because I was hoping to get input from parents who may have "been there done that", or "been there, wouldn't have done that"









DS is almost 2 and he loves the dave matthews band!! And it turns out they're playing fairly close to us a month after he turns two. At 7 at night.. Should I bring him? I think he'd love it, but it is a little late (he usually goes to bed around 7:30).. He's not the most easy-going toddler (far from it, actually) but sometimes he can surprise us. I really don't know what to do. Tickets go on sale next Friday and I would love some input from other parents about what they would do, or have done! in this situation.

Thanks!


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## ollineeba (Apr 12, 2005)

Been there.. many times







I love DMB (and so do my children) but I wouldn't ever take them to one of their concerts. The air is.. fragrant, shall we say, and you never know the kind of crowd it may draw. You'll probably see a lot of intoxicated people and I just wouldn't recommend it as a safe place to take a 2 year old.


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

I love DMB too and have been to many concerts. I would also say no. Liking the music does not equal ready for a concert past his bedtime. From what you said about bed time and your ds not being "easy goin" I think you already know the answer. There will be other oppurtunities in the future.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

Oh, how frustrating not to be able to go to the concert! In your place, though, I would not go. I saw them in concert once and just sitting in the audience not smoking anything myself, I felt a bit high. Maybe because the people next to us kept trying to pass us joints. Most of the people around us were drinking heavily, too. Nice folks, DMB fans, but I wouldn't consider them exactly toddler-friendly.


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## LeighB (Jan 17, 2008)

Never been to a DMB show, but I'm not a fan of babies or kids at indoor concerts. It's a totally different experience than an outdoor show or festival. And like the Pp mentioned, people will be getting high and he'll be breathing it in all night.


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## sprouthead (Jul 14, 2007)

Thanks for the input everyone.. The bedtime issue is a big one, but I feel like it's not enough to sway me one way or the other...

My husband is also concerned about my son getting high. However, and I apologize for not including this in my op, it is an indoor/outdoor arena so we would be sitting in the general admission/lawn area. I was hoping that since it was open-air there wouldn't be as much of a concern about DS breathing in smoke, and we could always move to an area that is less smokey/ dangerous..


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

All the DMB concerts I have been too have been in open air venues where there was lawn seating and THAT is where everyone smokes. So I would say that it is MORE likely that he be exposed there than anywhere else.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

IMO, the combo of potential for smoke/drinking, and the evening venue would make it a no. If it was a daytime outdoor concert I'd be inclined to say yes...but a not so easygoing toddler (I have one too!) at an nighttime [essentially meant for adults] concert that starts just before regular bedtime, would just be a recipe for disaster in my book.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

I would be concerned about the possibility of an intoxicated crowd turning violent near you. Drunk/stoned/rolling people tend to do stupid things even if it is a mellow event like DMB.


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

I have never been to a concert where there weren't at least a few fights and I've never left without that muffled-ear thing going on. The ear thing might just be annoying for an adult, I don't know what it would do to a little one.


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

We've taken DD to a few DMB concerts, the last time when she was about 16mo. She had a great time! But I don't think I would ever take her to the lawn. The lawn is a totally different experience-- it's a BIG party. It might work to have a blanket where you could relax, but I personally wouldn't do it. The venue really makes a difference, too-- we went to places where I knew I could take her to a big open green area outside the ampitheater seating and still listen to the music. She just watched the show and danced and hung out in the sling on me the whole time. I think she dozed off sometimes, too. But we definitely had her wear good earplugs.


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## mrs*kewpie*pie (Mar 1, 2009)

i have loved taking my oung kids to shows. i vote go.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NiteNicole* 
I have never been to a concert where there weren't at least a few fights and I've never left without that muffled-ear thing going on. The ear thing might just be annoying for an adult, I don't know what it would do to a little one.

This is my thing too. I don't care about the smoke really







, but I worry about the sound damage. At least put earplugs in his ears if you go.

ETA: Well, yes, I do care about the secondhand smoke. But the ear damage just jumps right to the top of the list.


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## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

I've been to see Dave.. I had lawn seats.. and I can tell you.. IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE for a young child.. MAYBE a 12 year old.. but def not a toddler. IMO


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I had two easy-going toddlers and would have taken them to any concert I thought they would enjoy.

In the case of it being a bit late for him, we would have just tried to delay his nap and get him to fall asleep later in the day so he'd have energy to stay up a bit later than usual. Worst case scenario, he'd fall asleep in the middle.

Is there assigned seating? We took my five year old to a standing-room-only Ani DiFranco concert last year, and it was great, but when she fell asleep, we ended up holding her for 2 hours or so. It wasn't bad, I'd do it again because it was worth it to me, but she's asked for seating at the next concert we go to!


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## russsk (Aug 17, 2007)

It's been over 10 years since I last saw DMB (god, does that make me feel old) but there was a LOT of beer sloshing everywhere and a LOT of pot being smoked. People got very drunk. I had a great time, but probably not the best place for a toddler. That said, I was always on the floor. Maybe seats high up in the stands would be better??


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

Not unless you want your little one getting a contact high from the concert's atmosphere. I live in Charlottesville, VA... need I say more?


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Firstly, I'm so jealous. I love Dave Matthews!








Secondly, the only "lawn seats" concert I've ever been to was James Taylor... but it was a late afternoon concert, and there were lots of kids. There was also smoking. And that's James Taylor, not DMB.. big difference I say!
Thirdly, we're taking our 4 yo to see They Might be Giants next month. But its indoor, and during the day (they also have an evening show, but we picked the daytime one). So I'm not against concerts for kids by any means... but I think it needs to be the right setting.
Honestly... as much as my kids love DMB too, I think I'd skip it, unless you could go during the day. You could bring a camcorder & take some movies for your kiddo!


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Even at an outdoor family-friendly festival at the age of 2, my ds hit a wall around 8pm.
when he would still sleep in the ergo, I brought him to plenty of outdoor shows where people partied, I just found a safe place outside of the crowd.
But honestly, I don't worry about mj smoke outdoors. That's just me.


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## justme77 (Oct 9, 2006)

I haven't read all the responses - but saw a lot of no's.

I'll be a 'been there done that' for you. DMB came to The Woodlands which is a huge outdoor area and we brought DD when she was about 17/18mos. She/we loved loved loved it. We sat at the top of the hill and it was not a problem at all. When she got a little antsy we just let her run the backside of the hill where the other kids were and when she was ready I nursed her down and she slept in the ergo and then on our quilt until it was over. I didn't expect a mosh pit or anything. Yes every now and then you'd get a whiff of something special but nothing I was worried about. And while we do like to keep a loose schedule for bedtime and such, special occasions occur.

We have taken her to other outdoor music concerts/festivals also and she enjoys it as much as us. In her own way of course, but fun is had by all.

Good luck.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I would recommend not taking him. Concerts get very loud and it is really frustrating to pay a lot of money for something or to even go somewhere for free when you really want to attend something and then to have to leave because your child is so extremely miserable or bored. My dd has been to some of the free concerts in the park and each time we have to leave because it is way to loud and crowded for her to enjoy and she loves loud and crowd. We also went to one classical music concert that we had to pay for last year and she only wanted to listen for about thirty minutes and then she was bored. She is six and has a great attention span and even so I wouldn't pay that much money to have it wasted like that again. And I would never bring her to a loud concert that I paid for because she the noise would be a big issue and my money would be wasted.


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## rcr (Jul 29, 2008)

Wow, there are lots of no's here.

I would go. I have taken my LO to concerts, with no problem. The fact that it is outdoor I think is best, and you can always move. Sounds like a great time.

However, I am usually in the "take your LO everywhere" camp, so there are not many places I would not take my child.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

My first instinct was to say - only bring him if you want him to experience his first contact high.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

my dd has been to indoor (no hard alcohol kinds) and outdoor concerts since she was 6 months old. as a baby she just slept on me when she needed to sleep.

its DMB. i dont expect the fighting kind to go there (hopefully). i would take him.

BUT i would also take into account that you might have to leave early if he doesnt want to stay.

are you willing to pay for something you might not be able to stay for. if it istn a big deal then i am big on TAKE him.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rcr* 
However, I am usually in the "take your LO everywhere" camp, so there are not many places I would not take my child.

hey i am with you too. my dd goes everywhere with me. she is a free spirit who is not tied to her bedtime so that really helps. in fact she THRIVES on going everywhere.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I wouldn't because I'd be worried about his hearing. I've never been to a concert that isn't uncomfortably loud for me, and that kind of loudness can really damage hearing.

Personally, I'd buy a concert DVD for my son, find someone to watch him and go myself.


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## MamaJenese (Aug 14, 2006)

The last two times I was at a DMB concert I almost got hit because a fight broke out next to me. I was so sad, I kinda feel like DMB crowds just ain't what they used to be. We have taken the kids to a couple outdoor music festivals, but always during the day. It sort of seems like once the sun goes down the crazy comes out.


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Dd has been to two DMB shows and one Radiohead show. Both were at outdoor amphitheaters. Ds was at one of the DMB shows too, as a 1.5 year old. Dd was maybe 1.5 at her first DMB and 3.5 at her next. We had lawn seats for all shows. We took earplugs for dd, which she wore. Honestly, we were back so far on the lawn that she didn't even need them. Also, our local amphitheater has a fenced-in family area on the lawn. There was no smoking anywhere near us. I've also never been hugely exposed to marijuana smoking at a DMB concert. (I'm a former stoner, so I definitely would've known it.







) Contact highs are a myth anyway.

Oh, and both kids loved the shows and had a great time. They fell asleep in mine/dh's arms when they got tired.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

I say no way. I've been to over 40 DMB shows and wouldn't ever consider bringing my kids. The crowd tends to be too young, too irresponsible and too drunk. I've seen kids barf all over people, drop trau and pee right in the lawn, get into major fights, passout, etc. But I have seen other parents bring their babies/toddlers/kids and haven't seen anything remotely bad happen. I guess for us, it's more of a situation where we want to concentrate on the show (I'm a huge geek when it comes to watching the band - i.e. tracking the set lists, watching for guitar changes, listening for teases, etc.) and not have to worry about the kids.

I'm just realizing how negative I sound. Sorry about that - I don't mean to scare you off. Like I said, I've seen lots of kids there and it always seems to be alright, it's just for us, it wouldn't work. If you're comfortable and you think your chlid can handle it, it would probably work out for you.


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## sprouthead (Jul 14, 2007)

Hmm.. I wonder if the discrepencies in responses are partly regional? Since we just moved to this area, I have no way of predicting how the crowd will be at this show. Maybe DH and I will go alone this year, and then we'll see about next year..

Thanks so much for the responses!!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

OP i would look around and see if they play at any 'child friendly' venues then. here they have played at family events like pops at the park or at the zoo too apart from adult venues. we even have music in teh park which is for adults with a seperate beer zone but still it is kid friendly enough that families go. events like pops at the park are parks and recs sponsored and are meant for the family.

spring is in the air so in a few months these should start happening.


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## bender (Mar 23, 2007)

I think you guys should make it a date night and bring a concert dvd home.

My concerns would be: potential hearing damage for the child, second hand smoke issues, possible alcohol ingestion, and irritating other people who paid $$$ for an evening out without kids.


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## Rico'sAlice (Mar 19, 2006)

I have never been to see DMB. However, I have taken my son to many concerts and always had a wonderful time and he appears happy and content as well. Around here no smoking rules are pretty strictly enforced at indoor concerts. At outdoor ones we generally are just prepared to move around if people near us are smoking.

As for the sound, we stay a good distance from the speakers and the LO wears ear plugs (foam type) underneath protective ear muffs.

However, my DS doesn't go to bed early and he falls asleep easily in my lap and/or mei tei is he does get tired. If I thought he would be miserable from getting overtired and not being able to sleep I would not take him.

We've never had issues with his "behavoir" affecting others. If he is no longer content to sit, we go for a walk or something. I can usually still hear the music from the hallway or whatever anyway.

You're the one who knows your self and your kid though.


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

I would make sure the seats were on the lawn for plenty of toddler movement.


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## lindberg99 (Apr 23, 2003)

Can you find someone to stay home with your DS? I'm assuming the concert isn't for a couple months which would give you time to find someone (neighborhood teen??) and have her over a few times so your DS could get used to her. If your son is pretty easy going, he might be okay with this arrangement.


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## holistimama (Sep 11, 2008)

I would say definitely not. He won't understand why he can barely see them since he's so young. It will not have the impact you hope it will, I'm fairly certain, and the opening band will play first, I assume, so you won't even see DMB until WAY after your DS bedtime. And yeah, especially at outdoor summer concerts people are all about the party aspect of the concert and less about the music. Your son would be so distracted by the crazy, drunk, high people that it would not have the education that you desire, I'll bet.


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## sewcool (Jan 25, 2009)

he would love it we have taken our kids to a few concerts and its been great one was metal music and still they loved it they are music junkies though. but i think your child will love it and have a blast


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

I have to add that the only response to our bringing DD was lots of love. People were excited to see a baby and said hi to her and cooed and etc. But that's a good point that maybe there are regional differences.


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