# nakedness



## hamletsjadedlover (Aug 5, 2007)

i am an al natural sleeper (nakey butt) at what age should i stop doing this with my d/s?i am a self proclaimed nudist (well topless atleast) wha age should i stop this as well?


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## sunnygir1 (Oct 8, 2007)

I don't know when you should stop sleeping naked with your child(ren). It seems to me that it will have to be a personal decision made for your family and coming from your experiences and relationships.

As to the other question, do you mean at what age (of your child(ren)) should you stop going topless? If so, I'm not sure that you should, necessarily. I grew up swimming naked with family and friends and have always felt perfectly comfortable with nudity in my family. Nudity and sexuality are two different things, and that has always been clear in our family. Same for your children. I am close to a twelve-year-old boy who is comfortable naked around his home with his mother and little sister. I don't see a problem there.

I feel that the sexualization of the human body is a HUGE issue in our society that must be addressed in our homes. Children should feel safe and comfortable with their bodies and in their homes...first and foremost, that should be our goal as parents.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

LOL this was one of my very first questions on this board!! http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=186169 . . . .







: the good old days!!!









anyway- i think as long as all involved are comfortable, then you are fine. ds is 3y8m, and we still sleep together in the nude when he sleeps with me (which is very rare- he is in his own room). i have just recently started using some nudity rules- namely he has to wear pants in the front yard and when going out. eventually he or I will not feel comfortable sleeping naked together.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

When they get long/tall enough that they can pull your pubic hairs with their toes while they nurse.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I still sometimes sleep nude while cosleeping with dd. She is 2. I think its time to cover up when they get uncomfortable with your nudity or starts asking too many questions that you are not comfortable answering.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

I think that our culture is backwards and puritanical. It's not okay to be nude in front of your own children, but it's somehow okay to be spread-eagle and sexualized on the cover of a magazine that is racked at child's eye-level or on a billboard.

Quote:

I feel that the sexualization of the human body is a HUGE issue in our society that must be addressed in our homes. Children should feel safe and comfortable with their bodies and in their homes...first and foremost, that should be our goal as parents.
ITA


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Not only should the children feel comfortable with their own bodies but with seeing family members as well. I think that a child raised in a home where nudity is treated as a normal part of life won't have an issue with seeing a parent undressed. Unless I'm sleeping outside in the winter, you couldn't pay me to wear clothes while I sleep, I simply won't do it. However, I do wear underwear sometimes, and especially when there's a little one in bed ( man is that weird feeling little toes down there YIKES )


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama Poot* 
Unless I'm sleeping outside in the winter, you couldn't pay me to wear clothes while I sleep, I simply won't do it.


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## whozeyermamma (Oct 11, 2007)

Ha - Mama Poot! That is so funny! That's why I wear bottoms at nite too! DD (4) is always trying to jam her feet between my legs!

We don't consider ourselves nudists - DH wears underwear around DD but doens't take great pains to hide himself. When she first noticed his penis at about 3 she asked about it and got really curious - it was a good time for the "private parts" talk -(only you can touch your private parts - Mommy and Daddy to to help clean you or whatnot. No one else can touch your private parts, etc.)

She's since lost interest.


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## ndakkitten (Jul 1, 2006)

I sometimes ask myself this question too. DH and I will occasionally walk around the house nude or close to it in the mornings and late at night (as long as we keep the blinds on the picture window closed!!!!) As for sleeping, DH prefers just boxers, whereas I sleep nude or with just a nightshirt if its really cold. My kids (4, 3, and 10 months) are all used to seeing us naked and don't think anything of it. Plus, running around naked was the only way we got our oldest potty trained. Both DH and I take turns taking showers with the kids too.

My only concern is when they finally reach school age and this fact may get mentioned...but otherwise, I figure the kids will let us know when it bothers them.


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## mamaof4giftofmore (Oct 23, 2007)

While I agree that it is each parent's natural right to chose if they wear pj's or not, i must state that I feel it is wrong to be naked in front of opposite sex.
What I mean is I don't think it's appropriate for any of us to make choices like this for someone else. I believe children should make their own decisions when they are older about whether to wear pajama's or not. I feel it would be wrong to subject my children to my nudity. My daughter's, by birth, have seen me in the nude, but not my son's. That stopped when they could form complete sentences.
I also believe that it is hard to hide sexual things from the children if you are naked in front of them, i.e. when husband wakes up with erection. Not okay for child to see that, come on! That is sexuality, not normal nudity.
Besides, if you are all in the same bed, what does it take from your marital relationship...what about spontaneity? Hope that's how it's spelled! I love to cuddle with my honey first thing in the morning. When kids were little and still climbing into bed with us, I had to take them back to their bed first. I think it is abuse for a child to ever encounter anything sexual.
I agree with the post about magazine's being at child's eye level being wrong.
I am not trying to put you down, but just to explain there may be more to research before you just decide family nudity is ok.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:

I love to cuddle with my honey first thing in the morning. When kids were little and still climbing into bed with us, I had to take them back to their bed first. I think it is abuse for a child to ever encounter anything sexual.

family nudity is NORMAL- being restrictive/secretive about nudity is a cultural construct.


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## AGierald (Sep 5, 2007)

i dont see anything wrong with or sexual about just general nudity around the house... am i comfortable being nude, heck no, but thats ME, lol. i say if you and your kids are comfortable being in the buff, go for it! more power to ya









my own nudity hang ups are my own issue, and its one i hope to avoid in my kids, i dont want them to be hung up on insecurity with their own bodies, ya know?


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## ejbamommy (Sep 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaof4giftofmore* 
While I agree that it is each parent's natural right to chose if they wear pj's or not, i must state that I feel it is wrong to be naked in front of opposite sex.
What I mean is I don't think it's appropriate for any of us to make choices like this for someone else. I believe children should make their own decisions when they are older about whether to wear pajama's or not. I feel it would be wrong to subject my children to my nudity. My daughter's, by birth, have seen me in the nude, but not my son's. That stopped when they could form complete sentences.
I also believe that it is hard to hide sexual things from the children if you are naked in front of them, i.e. when husband wakes up with erection. Not okay for child to see that, come on! That is sexuality, not normal nudity.
Besides, if you are all in the same bed, what does it take from your marital relationship...what about spontaneity? Hope that's how it's spelled! I love to cuddle with my honey first thing in the morning. When kids were little and still climbing into bed with us, I had to take them back to their bed first. I think it is abuse for a child to ever encounter anything sexual.
I agree with the post about magazine's being at child's eye level being wrong.
I am not trying to put you down, but just to explain there may be more to research before you just decide family nudity is ok.


i don't mean to start a fight here, or step on any toes...BUT i simply had to say this...A man waking up with an erection ISNT sexual. After they have been holding their urine all night, and if a man has ANY dream, they will wake up with a hard on. As soon as they are up and have peed it's gone. My 2yr old and 4 yr old will wake up with "erections" MANY times, especially if for some reason i have to wake them up out of sleep. I can GUARANTEE they aren't having sexual desires or fantasies.
Again sorry if i stepped on any toes here or upset anyone. But i really felt like that had to be corrected.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I sleep nude - I always have. DS1 moved into his own room when he was only a year old, but he used to crawl in with us (then me, after the breakup) sometimes. He continued to do that until dh moved in with me. DS1 was 8 at that time. My nudity wasn't an issue for me or for ds1. DH's nudity was, so ds1 stopped sleeping in the big bed.'

DS1 is now 14, and doesn't see me naked anymore. He'd be very uncomfortable with that, so it doesn't happen. OTOH, he's not phased at all if I have no top or bra on. I've been nursing his siblings for most of the last 4.5 years, so it's just not an issue.

I don't think nudity is a big issue. I've just followed ds1's and dh's cues when it comes to our nudity comfort level in the home. As long as nobody is uncomfortable, I see no issue.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaof4giftofmore* 
I love to cuddle with my honey first thing in the morning. When kids were little and still climbing into bed with us, I had to take them back to their bed first. I think it is abuse for a child to ever encounter anything sexual.

I have to ask what you mean by cuddle? If dh and I are cuddling in the morning, the kids cuddle with us. I think you must mean something different by the word "cuddle" if you're connecting it to children encountering something sexual.


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## kissum (Apr 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
When they get long/tall enough that they can pull your pubic hairs with their toes while they nurse.

















LMAO. We have that problem here, which is why I now try to remember to throw pants on for our post bath snuggle.

Like many people have said, I think it's a personal choice, if you start feeling uncomfortable or your child tells you they are uncomfortable, then you stop. Otherwise, I don't think it matters!


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## CaraboosMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaof4giftofmore* 
While I agree that it is each parent's natural right to chose if they wear pj's or not, i must state that I feel it is wrong to be naked in front of opposite sex.
What I mean is I don't think it's appropriate for any of us to make choices like this for someone else. I believe children should make their own decisions when they are older about whether to wear pajama's or not. I feel it would be wrong to subject my children to my nudity. My daughter's, by birth, have seen me in the nude, but not my son's. That stopped when they could form complete sentences.
I also believe that it is hard to hide sexual things from the children if you are naked in front of them, i.e. when husband wakes up with erection. Not okay for child to see that, come on! That is sexuality, not normal nudity.
Besides, if you are all in the same bed, what does it take from your marital relationship...what about spontaneity? Hope that's how it's spelled! I love to cuddle with my honey first thing in the morning. When kids were little and still climbing into bed with us, I had to take them back to their bed first. I think it is abuse for a child to ever encounter anything sexual.
I agree with the post about magazine's being at child's eye level being wrong.
I am not trying to put you down, but just to explain there may be more to research before you just decide family nudity is ok.

Sexuality and nudity are not the same thing. American culture often equates nudity with sexuality and while I am not comfortable personally with public nudity (i.e. being at a nude beach etc. w/ children would not be ok with me) I see no reason to teach children that nudity is a shameful thing or something to be hidden.

As the children get older (i.e. school age) it would be natural that they would want greater privacy or feel embarassed if a parent is naked and we will adjust accordingly.

I also thought I would remind you that you are posting on a Pro-Family Bed message board and your post indicates you think that is somehow unhealthy







:


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## sunnygir1 (Oct 8, 2007)

:

I also am not sure I agree that children seeing ANYTHING sexual is abuse. When you kiss your husband, it is likely different from when you kiss your child. Is it abuse for a child to see that? Children see manifestations of sexuality in the media ALL THE TIME. I think it is important for parents to model a healthy, loving relationship, which includes sexuality. This, of course, does NOT mean intercourse and other sexual acts in front of children.


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## CaraboosMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *homemademomma* 
family nudity is NORMAL- being restrictive/secretive about nudity is a cultural construct.









:


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## Hannahsmummy (Oct 12, 2006)

My husband and I sleep naked with our daughter as well, she's 4 and a half. She starts out in her own bed wearing pjs but wakes in the middle of the night, gets undressed and comes in with us. For her it's just a matter of being comfortable-it's hot under a duvet in between 2 people!

None of us have any issues with it and it's completely normal and innocent to her.

Frankly anyone who thinks that a small child is dealing with sexual issues because of being around a parent naked is projecting their own issues.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnygir1* 
I also am not sure I agree that children seeing ANYTHING sexual is abuse. When you kiss your husband, it is likely different from when you kiss your child. Is it abuse for a child to see that? Children see manifestations of sexuality in the media ALL THE TIME. I think it is important for parents to model a healthy, loving relationship, which includes sexuality. This, of course, does NOT mean intercourse and other sexual acts in front of children.

I agree. I suspect my children actually see more overt manifestations of sexuality between me and dh when we're around the house, fully clothed, than they'd ever be witness to in the bedroom.


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CaraboosMama* 
Sexuality and nudity are not the same thing. American culture often equates nudity with sexuality [...] I see no reason to teach children that nudity is a shameful thing or something to be hidden.


ITA.

Can you see that nudity =/= sex? How could ANY of these be construed as sexual? What do you think happens in a family bed?

http://www.bhyman.com/ap1.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/187/4...44ce953a1b.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/comm...6/22569607.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/comm...9/22560998.jpg

I'd also like to point out that erections do not have anything to do with arousal. My infant son gets erections.


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## CaraboosMama (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I agree. I suspect my children actually see more overt manifestations of sexuality between me and dh when we're around the house, fully clothed, than they'd ever be witness to in the bedroom.


I agree. And I would hope that our children learn about healthy sexuality by being around us (within reason, people! I'm talking attitude and the way we treat each other - not actual acts!) While the kids are this age - the bedroom is for sleeping (the rest of the house after the kids are asleep is fair game!). I personally, like to wear a little something to bed, but it's a comfort issue, not a privacy one.

And family nudity can be educational - my 3 1/2 year old dd says that when her brother grows up to be a big girl he will get to have a 'gina too!







No penis envy there!







(I have explained that this will probably not happen!


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## whozeyermamma (Oct 11, 2007)

Let's see if we can explain this to Mamaof4 a little better:

So if children should never be exposed to anything sexual what does that mean? No intimate hugging or kissing? A peck on the cheek is ok, but a I'd rather my kid view sex and sexuality as a loving thing between mom and dad than the soft core porn you can see on MTV or sitcoms or whatnot.

IN our house, DH covers up, but if she walks in on him in the shower or the bathroom he's not going to make it a big deal to hide himself either. She'd ask - "What's that?" He'd say "It's a penis - boys have penises and girls have vaginas." And that was the end of it.

While DH covers up more than some people here I wonder - what's the difference between a regular penis and an erect one? Nothing according to the child - it's only OUR association that makes it different.

I know my DH is not comfortable being nude with an erection around our DD - so he covers up - but that's HIS choice and I think he knows it is more for HIM than for HER.

There are two big issues going around here - nudity and sex and I think that we need to understand that they really are separate. My Dad was never nude around me but my parents were very open about sex. End result - I grew up with a very healthy sexuality - was neither promiscuous nor a prude.


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## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
When they get long/tall enough that they can pull your pubic hairs with their toes while they nurse.









I just got to experience this fun this morning for the first time! DS is almost 7 months old, and has learned what fun it is to jam his feet into my crotch first thing in the morning. I stuffed the blankets down in between us a bit after he insisted that his feet belonged there.









Personally I think that as long as both the parents and DC are comfortable with the nudity, it can only help DC to understand that our bodies are nothing to be ashamed of. I would think it would help to foster a much more healthy body image as the child grows older.

I slept naked with DS, with him in only a diaper until about three weeks ago. I am so glad that we were skin-to-skin for the first six months of his life. I really think that is part of the reason he is such an "easy" baby. I have only recently started putting jammies on him, and a long sleeved t-shirt on me so I don't freeze at night, and so he doesn't have to have blankets piled on him. I am very sad that our naked sleeping is coming to an end for the winter. As soon as it warms up in the spring though, the clothing will be gone for the summer.


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## acp (Apr 15, 2007)

Just saying I agree with the general sentiment here...
I grew up in a household that was very loose about nudity - we all skinny dipped together, and walked around the house naked at times (don't mean to make this sound like a nudist household... I just mean we weren't prudish), and I never thought it was strange to see my father/mother/brother naked and still don't. Rather than it causing any hang-ups, I feel like I grew up with a very healthy attitude toward nudity and did not equate it with sexuality, as so many Americans seem to. When I gave birth to DD, my father (and mother) actually ended up being in the delivery room for the birth - it wasn't planned, but was a really sweet moment that I'm glad he was able to be there for. My midwife asked me a couple times if I felt uncomfortable and wanted her to ask him to leave, and I just explained that "we're not a very modest family"








I certainly hope that DD can grow up with the same healthy attitude about her own and others nudity, and never have it be a strange thing to see her mother or father naked.


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## hamletsjadedlover (Aug 5, 2007)

I personally see nothing wrong with nudity around my son im just a bit worried since i live in a one horse "village" with a pop of 2k on a good day (that must be including peoples animals too!) that is closed minded. nothing scares me worse thn the idea of cps knocking at my door!


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## hamletsjadedlover (Aug 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
ITA.

Can you see that nudity =/= sex? How could ANY of these be construed as sexual? What do you think happens in a family bed?

http://www.bhyman.com/ap1.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/187/4...44ce953a1b.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/comm...6/22569607.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/comm...9/22560998.jpg

I'd also like to point out that erections do not have anything to do with arousal. My infant son gets erections.


I LOVE THESE PHOTOS!!!!!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MilkTrance* 
ITA.

Can you see that nudity =/= sex? How could ANY of these be construed as sexual? What do you think happens in a family bed?

http://www.bhyman.com/ap1.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/187/4...44ce953a1b.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/comm...6/22569607.jpg
http://images.jupiterimages.com/comm...9/22560998.jpg

Those photos are beautiful...I especially love the first one and the last one...something about the expressions on the faces of the kids...


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