# Shepherding A Child's Heart - anyone read it?



## ColeysMama (Apr 28, 2006)

I was leaving church this morning when I heard a lady talking to the pastor and his wife about this book. Apparently she thinks it's the greatest thing on the planet and wants to get copies to all the mothers, with the pastor's approval.

I don't know much about it; I do know he recommends spanking "rebellious" infants who wiggle while having their diapers changed.

Can anyone give me more info on this? GCM is down right now, and I need... something... Is there anything in it, other than the recommendation of spanking, that is a problem? It's a conservative church and no one is going to care if the guy says you should spank, since most of them do, kwim? I am really hoping there are other points I can bring up in a letter to the pastor to persuade him to not allow this book to be distributed.

There is a copy in the church library, but sadly it's checked out right now...


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## jillc512 (Aug 31, 2005)

I have not read it personally, but can get the gist of it from the negative Amazon reviews (this is one of those books that either gets 1 star or 5 stars): http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/cus...nDate&n=283155.

According to some, his method seems to turn out robot children in front of adults who turn into monsters the second their fear-inciting parents leave the room...


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## Mrs_Hos (May 3, 2004)

When dd was a newborn thru 1 yr I went to a church that I loved...I loved that they were pro nursing and had a great 'cry room/nursing room' for moms...and that they didn't 'force' me to put her in the daycare...so I had her with me in church pretty much the whole time...loved it.
Took a 'parenting' class with the church when she was about 11 mo old...it was this 'sheparding a child's heart' thing...I read the book...listened to the stories of the other parents who very carefully didn't 'spare the rod' (that's a biggie with that book as I remember it) even tho they did it in a 'nice' mannor. At the time I had no problem with it...I mean I was YEARS away from needing any of that nonsense anyways right? So I listened, and even agreed with much of it.
Since then, I have totally changed my ideas on the whole 'spare the rod' part of scriptures. It angers me how people have used the bible and Gods word in whatever way it suits them to "control" others...especially their kids.
Hey...if it FEELS bad to hit your kid, maybe it ISN'T right! Logic parenting...ya know?
Bottom line...had I stayed in that area for a longer time, I would've left the church anyways since I've totally changed my views. But we moved before I had to do that. I LOVED the church otherwise...now I'm a bit delusional about churches in general because of this whole 'spare the rod' thing...as bad as it sounds, I'd rather just not go. Wish I could find a church that fits...but we tried about 15 of them in the 1st year we were here (ohio) and we've given up...takes LOTS of time and energy to find a church that believes the way we do--especially with parenting!


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## ColeysMama (Apr 28, 2006)

I'm not going to try to bring up alternate opinions of "spare the rod" - I know that's pointless. But if there are other aspects of the book I can bring up to discourage its use, then I will.

From what I could find, this one doesn't seem nearly as bad as Ezzo or Pearl... maybe I'll let it go for now, then try to talk to moms individually later on. Be the voice of reason, kwim?


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## my-j-angel (May 10, 2004)

I just finished this book, I found incredible disturbing. What a horrible, horrible horrible book ever written!!! I found it awful in so many levels, where do I start........

The only good part of the book was the communication, keep open communication in your home. have family devotions and tie everyday situations with the Bible.

First and formost, the spanking is incredible, he suggests for every act of disobedience you take the child to a private room tell him you must spank b/c you are God's agent as his parents and the child must follow's God command to obey, take child over your knee, pull his pants down and spank his bare bottom w/ your hand. redress child and give hime a hug and tell you love him.

Tripp says to start discipline as early as 8 months for babies who don't obey, The problem I found was he paid no regard to the developmental level of children. 8 month olds just don't have the capacity to obey and remember the order for the next time. In the entire book Tripp has 3 lines where he explains to parents to give kids a warning when changing the activity, again not paying any regard to how children think, kids need transition time.

Tripp wants total submission, he says your children need to learn they are a person under authority and must summit without challage, excuse or delay to every order given.

For the older children, grade school/high school ages he said it's time to start character development..........the ironic part is during their toddler/preschool years you have completely ruined their character, basically a break you down to build you back up thinking.

I could on and on, this book is so horrible. The reason I read it, I was talking to a friend about spanking and discipline and I said I fear spanking and coming down too hard on kids will ruin their spirit, their wonderful God-given spirit and she gives me this book to read.......blew my mind. anyway I have come to the conclusion that spanking is not ever acceptable and after reading this book I will try my hardest to never spank my child.


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## Bestbirths (Jan 18, 2003)

We used to own the book and threw it away rather than pass it on.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

That book sounds horrible









Could you maybe point out to your pastor that the American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes spanking (sounds impressive







), and it might not be the most appropriate thing to be handing out free pro-spanking material to parents? http://www.aap.org/advocacy/childhealthmonth/spank.htm


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## bamamom (Dec 9, 2004)

I actually had heard very good things about this book...but I havent read it yet. I dont believe spanking babies accomplishes anything, and even the die hard child training spankers i know REFUSE to spank a child on the bare backside. Make me puke, please!







:


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I think you should accept the book, and then rip it to shreds in front of them.

IMHO.

~Nay


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