# When he won't wear his retainer



## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

My parents paid alot of $$ to get early braces for DS, now he won't wear his retainer. Right now he is up in his room crying and i know it probably hurts bc he doesn't wear it often enough to get used to it. It is late and he won't sleep. He just took it off again. How do i ~force~ him to wear it?

He just came down here and announced that he will never wear it again, What do i do? I'm about to lose it. Right now i'm calm with him , but if he keeps pushing me.....


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## SagMom (Jan 15, 2002)

Does he want the correction that the retainer will make but finds it too painful to use.....or....does he not want the retainer/correction at all? Is this a cosmetic thing or is there a medical need for it?

I'd take all of these things into consideration. If he wants it, then I'd call the orthdontist and see if some change can be made so that it's more comfortable for him. If he doesn't want the correction at all, and understands the results of not wearing it, then I wouldn't force it.


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

It depends on your situation, but some retainers can be wired in semi-permanently. It involves brackets being left on one set of molars and then the retainer is attached to that. Depends on the type of retainer...I would discuss it with your orthodontist.


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Thank you,

I think i will go to see his orthodontist. I like the idea of one permanantly wired in.

He does want the changes, but in fits of anger he says he doesn't care (we have bipoler issues and he is very hard to reason with once in a 'state')

I also feel bad bc my parents paid thousands of$$ for the braces and i feel he is oblidged to wear the retainer


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

You really can't force him to wear it. How old is he? Maybe he's simply too young for this. Retainers do hurt, especially if you don't wear them regularly. I would suggest asking the orthodontist for either a way to affix it semi-permenantly, or ask the ortho if you can hold off on the treatment until your son is older and more able to understand the necessity of wearing one.

Save yourself alot of emotional energy and headache: don't turn this into a power struggle. It's a battle you will NEVER win, and is just going to cause a great deal of stress for everybody. In fact, if he is of a reasonable age, I might just say to him "okay, if you don't want to wear it you don't have to". When his defensiveness wears off you might explain to him that his grandparents gave this as a gift, etc. and see if he can find some internal motivation to wear it. Maybe leaving the issue he will come around on his own. But guaranteed if you fight it, it will never happen.


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Hes 10yo and does complain that it hurts, i guess i'll have to give up the power struggle, i don't want him to hurt, i guess i've been choosing this as a battle, which never helps.

Still feel guilty about the grandparents though, i hope that when the defensiveness wears off , he will decide to wear it again


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Would tylenol or ibuprofen help? I know not everyone on here uses those but I had braces as an adult and I found ibuprofen to help a lot with the soreness after orthodontic visits. It might help him to take some ibuprofen while he gets used to wearing the retainer. Really, after a couple days at most it shouldn't hurt anymore.


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

wednesday, that is a great idea, it hadn't even occured to me. I'm tired of fighting







:


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

I wore braces and retainers a few years ago and I remember the pain.

I was going to suggest a pain reliever like Wednesday said. I always took Advil before going to have my braces adjusted and then used it for at least 24 hours after.

See if he is willing to give it a try. Explain that you understand it hurts and you guys are going to come up with a game plan to fix the pain part -- he just has to agree to wear them.

Good luck!


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Mine hurt a lot and interfered with my ability to talk. I quit wearing it. My teeth shifted a little, but I'm the only one that would notice it. I was only willing to put up with a certain amount of pain for cosmetics, honestly.

Another vote for suggesting pain relief to him and telling the ortho that it hurts too much to wear.


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