# So many "How do I get them out?" ques. in this forum



## squirrelletta (Jan 25, 2005)

I just needed to say, I've been disappointed at how many threads have been negative lately about co-sleeping! Has anyone else noticed this? Questions about "_How_ to get the kids into their "own room" and "_When_ can I get them out of my bed?" or "How old should they be when I give em the boot?"

Sheesh...I really love co-sleeping with my little guy and so does DH. I get the basic hair pulling, bruses and kicks too, but still could not imagine him being in some other room alone at night. (*shivers) Plus, I love his morning smile!

I guess I just felt this forum was for positive helpful suggestions for people who actully WANT to be with their children at night. I'm getting a different feeling here lately. I don't come to this discussion to learn "How to not be an attachment parent." But geez...lately, I get the feeling Im being talked out of it.

Anyone else saddened by the negativity on the boards lately? Or am I just hormonal?









Just a thought/rant...


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## mamaroni (Sep 12, 2003)

I can see where you're coming from.

I started a thread a few months back asking for suggestions on getting my 5 yo dd out of my bed and I got NOT ONE response. It took me a while to figure out why, but I got it, and like I said I see your point.

Just to explain where I was coming from. . . . I wanted my dd out of my bed (for a number of reasons that I won't go into now), and I thought that the co-sleeping mamas here would have the best suggestions, that's all. I completely respect the co-sleeping relationship, but I don't always love it in my house.

I crept away quietly.







:


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## Plummeting (Dec 2, 2004)

Right now I'm still happy mods finally put a stop to those posters saying all that bulls*** like, "Well, some families need to use CIO and you shouldn't assume they're wrong just because they don't do what you do" and similar garbage. That stuff made me want to reach through the internet connection and throw up - on the people who were saying it. :LOL


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

While I would never support CIO, if someone wants to move their three, four or five year old to their own room, I'm not going to fault them. And I'd much rather that people come here and get gentle suggestions on how to do it then go elsewhere and be told to just stick them in their room and tell them to deal with it (which I've heard elsewhere).


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## Missy Princess Eha (Jan 28, 2003)

I just had to say that cosleeping with my 6 year old type 1 diabetic has been such a blessing. I swear there are nights I wake up with this vibe that his sugar is low. And sure enough when tested he is low. He has only had one severe low reaction in his whole year and a half since diagnosis. I credit this to being in tune to him in such a way most parents are not. He and I are so close that I don't even have to look at him or even be awake to know what he needs now! That is what attachment parenting does for us. I never saw the FULL benefits until Eli was sick. I have co-slept with him since day one when he was born and we were in the hospital. It just felt right. I just wanted to say that there is one mama here that believes in older children co-sleeping. And that it will be HIS decision to move out of our bed. He is a very tender child and has always needed extra hugs and kisses and attention. And this last year he has been so raw and vulnerable with all that has happened in his young life. It feels good to give him a safe place to fall every night. Because one day not to far away he won't need that safe place...but I will be left with a warmth in my heart...that I provided that safe haven! Just some thoughts! Sorry if it offends anyone here.


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## lavender6 (Feb 9, 2004)

I have loved a lot of things about cosleeping, but it's not always a picnic. I don't fault anyone who decides they need to make a change. I'd rather they come here to ask for help doing it in a gentle, considerate way, wouldn't you?


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

CIO sucks, but I don't see asking how to transition out of the family bed as some sort of forbidden topic. Luckily, I don't make decisions for my family based on whether or not they are going to disappoint someone I don't know on a discussion board. I would rather have someone ask here then on a board where they are going to be told to put their kids into lockdown for the night and walk away.


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## zannster (Aug 12, 2004)

I have never posted a "when do I give 'em the boot" thread, but I do find the comments interesting - because I still have a little ambivalence about co-sleeping. I love having DS sleep with me; however, I also feel that I am currently putting my relationship with DF on hold (or at least a slow trickle). I am in no rush right now to get DS out of the bed - he's only 6 mos old. But I wouldn't be surprised if I'd like to transition him to his own bed in a year or two (who knows exactly when), and it seems reasonable to me that I would be more likely to get that 'how-to' information in a forum for family bed enthusiasts than in a mainstream forum. Doncha think?


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## bleurae (Feb 25, 2005)

squirrelletta I completely get where you are coming from. I belong to another board at another site that is an AP board and for a while it seems all the threads were about why AP didn't work for them or how AP wasn't the only way. I finally wrote a post stating positive only allowed. It helped to at least have one thread where the ONLY topic allowed was positive stories or rants about how great AP was. On that site I can delete threads if I want to it helped me keep it that way. I get really tired of always hearing the differing or opposing views in every thread. I think they have their place, but not in a place that should be pro and support.
I adore co-sleeping. I dread the day it ends. I say this as my sweet Bliss has decided he will not wear his diaper and has then proceeded to pee on the bed. Yeah!!!








I still would not change a thing. A lil pee never hurt me so oh well, off to clean it up.


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## squirrelletta (Jan 25, 2005)

I agree this is the place for questions about gentle trans, I just wish it was more "gentle" sometimes!

I guess what sort of got me down was meeting a mom group from here and 2 moms discussing how they couldnt wait to wean and that they were trying to move the kids into their own rooms. I just kinda felt like why would you see yourself as an AP? Not that labels matter...they were just aggressive and laughing about it and I felt awkward, ya know?

anyway...just B.S.-in...


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I'm sorry you had a rough time, and I'm sorry if I was pissy. I had a bad day, and was engaging in classic transference.

If I had my way, everyone would know what a joy it is to cuddle up to their little ones all night long, and have big enough beds to do it comfortably. But until that happens, I'm glad there us a safe place for mamas to post.


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## bleurae (Feb 25, 2005)

I recently decided to start an AP moms group because the moms group I belong to was just too varied with stuff like that. I went through API and am in the process now. I have had the same problems with meeting with moms who id as one thing but then are suddenly discussing how they had to smack their kid or how they had to circ. or other such things. It can throw ya.


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## Boadicea (Mar 28, 2004)

So, if I want to talk about transitioning my toddler to her own bed (she sleeps better in a bed by herself, so this seems to be her desire), this means I am no longer an AP parent? Or that I can't "label" myself as such?

And yes, there are days that I seriously talk about weaning at only 18 months old. Mama led weaning, because I feel like Gemma will be nursing in COLLEGE if we do CLW. And because I am fed up with some aspects of nursing a toddler -- my nipples are sore from being constantly tweaked, pinched, pulled, etc., and teeting/night nursing sucks! But here I am, still nursing, still loving it in so many ways.

I just need to vent sometimes, ya know?!? And if I can't do it here, with other mamas who support some of the same parenting ideals (if not all ... we're all different, and no one set of *strictures* or *rules* is one-size-fits-all, not even every AP/NFL/GD notion), then where can I do it?!? I don't have any IRL friends with whom I share parenting ideas, so who am I supposed to talk to about this stuff? If I talk to any of my IRL friends about it, they'll berate me for "still" nursing, and they'll tell me to put DD in a crib in her own room.

Sometimes I think the people on this board get a little to caught up in what *should* be going on around these AP/NFL boards. How about what *is* going on in my real life? How about those mamas who come here from more mainstream parenting boards looking for ... something, support, advice, because they know deep down that what they are doing isn't working for them -- they are seeking, and most of them probably don't have any other exposure to AP/NFL ideas?

What's that quote about doing better when you know better? How about we stop and think that perhaps other people are in different places on their journey, and maybe they don't have the same experience as you, or the same support as you, and they haven't reached the same conclusions yet. They're trying. They wouldn't be co-sleeping at all if they weren't, right?!? This parenting gig is hard work, and I know for a fact I'm not doing everything right. Are you?


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## white_feather (Sep 17, 2004)

*I just kinda felt like why would you see yourself as an AP?*

I thought AP wasn't a laundry list of things you were supposed to do . . . but being aware of and meeting your child's needs where they are. Some KIDS (not tiny babies) don't need to co-sleep. I swear, some days I feel like AP is some kind of exclusive club and it simply makes me want to run from the term.

Rather than having a forum where everyone can come and slap each other on the back for being so awesome, doesn't it make far more practical sense to have a forum where people can talk about the realities of these choices, and get compassionate, gentle advice?

Are we really so insecure about our AP choices that we can't face when some families have trouble integrating AP choices without making us second guess ourselves?


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## nannymom (Jan 23, 2004)

I think that is wrong to judge mothers who want to get their children out of their beds. Co-sleeping is great and I love it but i don't want to do it past 2 or 3. I might change my mind about that but right now that's how I feel. I don't feel that makes me less AP than some oen who still sleeps with their 8 or 9 year old.
This thread makes me sad b/c MDC has become so judgemntal in recent months. What if we just supported one another and tried to guide eachother to gentle natural solutions fo our parenting problems?


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## Boadicea (Mar 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *white_feather*
*I just kinda felt like why would you see yourself as an AP?*

I thought AP wasn't a laundry list of things you were supposed to do . . . but being aware of and meeting your child's needs where they are. Some KIDS (not tiny babies) don't need to co-sleep. I swear, some days I feel like AP is some kind of exclusive club and it simply makes me want to run from the term.

Rather than having a forum where everyone can come and slap each other on the back for being so awesome, doesn't it make far more practical sense to have a forum where people can talk about the realities of these choices, and get compassionate, gentle advice?

Are we really so insecure about our AP choices that we can't face when some families have trouble integrating AP choices without making us second guess ourselves?


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I will probably be charred to a crisp for saying this, but I have been reading Mothering for twelve years and have as much right as anyone to respect for my views.

"Seeing oneself as AP," whatever that means, might be the problem. Labels are *always* a problem, even when they are positive (look at child psych and the curse of positive labels for children, for an example). It becomes a yardstick for "But I'm AP (or Waldorf, or Pagan) and I don't do that, so how can that person be AP/Liberal/Conservative?" Labels don't leave room for the individual. I found this when I taught at a Waldorf school. For some parents it became a constant question of "is this Waldorf?" down to the most ridiculous minutiae, like what the tooth fairy should leave. I see the same thing with "attachment parenting."

I find on these boards sometimes that it becomes about a list of things to do, or not to do, equipment to have, or not to have. I have seen very securely attached, loving families who use very different parenting techniques than meet this standard: daycare, cribs in a separate room, formula feeding, even, egad, what folks here would call CIO, everything "wrong" you can come up with. Their children are fantastic young adults now: considerate, present, smart, motivated, very close to their parents - every quality I would like my own children to develop. Attachment can be fostered by certain practices, but those practices do not equal attachment, nor do they foster it in cases where it is unnatural, forced, coming from a book than that parent's individual experience and knowledge of themselves and their baby.

Rather than think that someone can be an "attachment parent," or "practice attachment parenting," which I don't believe, those of us interested in the subject could read real attachment theory (John Bowlby, for example) and find whatever ways work for being attached to one's children and giving them Bowlby's "secure base."


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

I love sleeping with my son, who's almost two years old. It's been nothing but wonderful. However, I feel like I do need him to stop nursing at night. I lie with eyes wide open, groan inwardly, "oh no, not again" when he keeps switching from left to right, right to left all night long. I wake up with bags under my eyes, tired and although I'm a patient mom, hard to muster the attention, energy and guidance necessary that he needs during the day.

As a result I find myself trying hard to get some sleep during the day, but he naps really late (about the time I have dinner, spend time with my husband and work a bit on my computer) and as a result I conclude it's not working for us. I feel I'm not as good of a parent during the day as I could be, and nine hours to sleep and still waking up tired is not acceptable to me.

I feel he's had two solid years of daytime and nighttime nursing and I just wish to cut off the nighttime part.

I don't want to sacrifice daytime parenting for nighttime parenting.

I'm still holding off on any techniques and such (not CIO, I assure you) since we'll be moving to a brandnew home in a couple of days/a week.

I think there's no better forum to post something like this on, because these are people who are nighttime parenting, who do and did have a commitment to be with their children. Dr. Sears talks about transitioning each of their children at about a year to their own bed. He had eight children.

Cheers,


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## CariS (Jul 2, 2005)

I think this forum should be women (and men if so desired) supporting each other without judgment. I don't think this was created as an exclusive attachment parenting website.

I too felt saddened when I heard moms continue to ask about how to get their babies to sleep longer until it happened to me. My 6 month old is in our bed as I always knew she would be. Then last week she fell out which was a horrible site. She was also waking up every 20-30 minutes which concerned me. I was scared. I don't have a lot of friends or family in the area and the ones I do are all telling me to let her cry it out - not something I want to or am going to do. But last week I was scared. I put two posts on MOTHERING and got a lot of ideas and support - just what I was looking for.

I'm very happy that your situation is working for you. You may not know the struggles other people experience that's why it doesn't seem that bad to you. I ask that you have patience with us new moms and share your strength, knowledge, ideas, and support. If you tire of hearing about it - maybe you can help by sharing positive stories you have encountered or tell us that it does get better or this is just a stage the babies are going through.


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

I don't know. I think it is hard to know a persons whole situation online. For some people it may be necessary to get their babe into their own sleep space. It really could have went that way for us:

I am a VERY full time student...I am talking about spending 70+ hours a week on schoolwork. We cosleep with our then 16 month old while our older two (7 and 5) share a queen size bed. The baby was waking 4-6 times a night to nurse. I get up about 3 to work on homework so I was getting next to NO good sleep and my school work was suffering but more importantly my mama-ness was suffering. I NEEDED SLEEP. I could not let him latch on and fall completely back to sleep because he can sense if the nana is falling out of his mouth and he has a tendency to clamp down which jolts me right awake for sure. My husband had a epiphany! We brought our 5 year old into the bed with him and baby and I went to sleep with my 7 year old. This has worked like a charm for us. Baby RARELY wakes up and if he does, papi is able to put him back to sleep. On the very rare occasion that baby is needing nana, I go to him or papi brings him to me. Yes, I miss the night time cuddles and loves but this is what we need to do for me to be the best mama that I can be. Yes, it was a difficult decision to make but it was one that was necessary at least for now.

The point of my little anecdote, it is very difficult to know a persons situation and unless you are 100% sure you know it, then one should not make assumptions about them.

Also, one of the things that I think that we at MDC have in common is the desire for tolerance. Tolerance for our "different" (to other, natural to us) parenting ways, and to pass that tolerance on to our children. I think that one of the best ways to teach our children that tolerance is to (hey this is a novel idea) be tolerant. What a wonderful example to set by giving support to those who have the courage to do what is best for their family even if it is something that we ourselves do not think is what would be best for ours.


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## bleurae (Feb 25, 2005)

So now so many of you who have just posted in defense of being able to come here and discuss what you need to who are upset by this thread are saying exactly what the original poster said, Why can't she come and discuss that she would like to hear more threads just talking about the awesomeness of stuff? Why is it ok to vent your stuff but when she vents her concerns it is wrong? You have judged her too.
I think you can come here and discuss whatever you want, that is what it is for. Sometimes though when someone starts a thread about what they love about co-sleeping it is taken over by those who want to transition their kids out. The same with wearing, and b/f'ing. So I think the REAL ISSUE should be to RESPECT the THREAD. If a thread is about loving something then discuss loving it, not the opposite. f a thread is asking for help with something, then stick to that. If you want to post about transitioning or whatnot and do not see a thread about that, then start one.


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## Oh the Irony (Dec 14, 2003)

bleurae, i think it is the title that has created the responses. people are answering the question in the title.

i remember a thread months ago that had the same type of concern, but the title was something like "who else loves co-sleeping?". it was VERY positive.

my thought tends to be that co-sleeping is pretty straight forward. after you get your set-up figured out, you probably won't have a ton of questions. i don't visit this forum specifically because i don't have any questions or concerns about co-sleeping. it is working.

and when it does not work for me and my family, we will make changes.


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wolfmama*
bleurae, i think it is the title that has created the responses. people are answering the question in the title.

Precisely! And one could go through the whole OP and list out the negativity of it (being negative about negativity...hmmm








) but that is not necessary. Nor is it realistic to expect replies only in agreement. I was not devaluing the OPers feelings, just trying to point out that the situations of the posters to whom she may be refering may not be as cut and dried as it may appear. Which is exacly why I described out situation. I LOVE







LOVE







LOVE cosleeping, I did it for a varied length of time with each of my children. But right now, traditional cosleeping is just not healthy for us, because of my schedule.

Ya know, when our situation cropped up a few months ago, I would have loved to know that I could come here for support ( I joined almost a year ago but did not start posting until the last few weeks) but if I am going to get replies to my:
" I really need sleep but he wakes up 5 or 6 times a night
"

post saying things like:

"well I acutally like having my child close to me, I thought this was a forum for people who enjoy cosleeping, not for those who just want to get their babe out of their bed"

it would have really hurt because it was a very hard decision for us.

I am not trying to be salty but I just want people to think that what that may see as something negative is actually a request for support.









Have a great day on purpose!


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## mumm (May 23, 2004)

Why so many posts about moving kids out of the family bed? Because if you don't want to cio, and want to be gentle and respectful to your child, then it is hard and you need help and advice and understanding from others! I will work towards moving my 2 year old out of my bed as soon as I can. Why? Because I also want to be gentle and respectful to ME! How "attached" (a word I dislike as much as AP) can I be if I am resentful of the fact dd is sleeping on my head, chest, stomach, legs, etc all night. How "attached" can I be if I literally have a child on my body 24/7?

I love my children, and I love the stinky dog breath kisses and cuddles in the morning, but I also set boundaries and limits for them. Including some relating to sleep. Just as they are required to play in the backyard when I am making dinner, not the front yard, there are also rules for sleeping. My 5 year old's rules include sleeping in his own bed and only calling for help for emergencies (defined as fire, blood or vomit) and for someone to walk him to the toilet. He also know he is always welcome in our bed during electrical storms (too scary) and first thing upon waking to snuggle.

I need to sleep for at least 60 minutes at a stretch at some point during the night or I am too tired to be pleasant. I wasn't getting that with two kids sleeping on me. I am a more patient, loving, and understanding mother with him out of my bed. And he is more patient, understanding and better able to play without melting down at every snag now that he sleeps better in his own bed.

I am, imo, a better (or "attached") mother because I took the initiative to help him learn to sleep alone. Once I get the energy up, I'll do it for my daughter. Just as I help them learn to set the table, tie shoes, wash their hands independently, etc. Just because it is hard (for parent and kid) doesn't mean it is wrong. Heck- lots of kids would never learn to pump a swing, ride a bike, swim, etc. if they didn't have a patient adult or older child helping them.

I quickly learned that my mainstream friends *could* not support me during the transition (Jeez.. I should have left him to sleep on his own at 6 months, not at 3 years 6 months... What did I expect?) and that the MDC community *would* not support me during that time. I was alone, which is my only regret.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

Well, I almost came here tonight to ask how to help my almost 5 year old to at least sleep in a toddler bed (or the co sleeper) in our room. Then I realized I might get fried for that and I'm not up for it.







I love co sleeping and think it's so important, especially w/babies and toddlers. My nearly 5 yo dd HAS to be touching me, though. This creates quite the issue when I'm trying to nurse my infant or my toddler needs me. As a result I sometimes get very little, if any, sleep and am a cranky mama the next day. I don't feel negative toward co sleeping, I have reaped the benefits from co sleeping with all my children, but sometimes gently getting the child to move on (or at least move over :LOL) is a reality.


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## bleurae (Feb 25, 2005)

I think the thing I have gotten from this thread is to really pay attention to the thread and respect what it is asking for or speaking about AND if starting a thread to bevery specific about what you want AND DON'T WANT.

I think that's all good.


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

I think it is important to remember the huge gap in our culture between what is IDEAL and what IS.

Most of the parents here (I dare say) did not get a realistic depiction of what parenthood would be like before they became parents. Our culture devalues children and downplays their needs.

So, many of us have made huge leaps in our ideas about parenting based on what we read, what we hear, what we feel is right, etc. But sometimes there's got to be a happy medium between what we expect, or others expect (a DP, outside committments, etc.), and what our children need. Consequently, many parents are trying to find a balance, because they're doing what is natural in a VERY unnatural culture.

Just my two cents.


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## Knittin' in the Shade (Feb 14, 2003)

Quote:

Sheesh...I really love co-sleeping with my little guy and so does DH. I get the basic hair pulling, bruses and kicks too, but still could not imagine him being in some other room alone at night. (*shivers) Plus, I love his morning smile!
BUt that's _you_ It's not the same for everyone, parent or child. I had a child who absolutely could NOT sleep in the family bed once he hit 9 mos. He just couldn't settle down and every time I moved he'd wake up and whimper because he didn't want to be awake. We transitioned him to his own bed (right next to ours) and he promptly slept through the night. Isn't that what attachment parenting is all about, meeting the needs of your child? I'm sorry, but I also think that a child needs a mama who isn't frazzled all the time, so I don't see anything wrong with someone coming here, to a place designed for gentle parenting, to ask advice about how to gently meet her child's needs without completely ignoring her own needs.

Quote:

So now so many of you who have just posted in defense of being able to come here and discuss what you need to who are upset by this thread are saying exactly what the original poster said, Why can't she come and discuss that she would like to hear more threads just talking about the awesomeness of stuff? Why is it ok to vent your stuff but when she vents her concerns it is wrong? You have judged her too.
She can come and discuss that she'd like to see more of the awesomeness threads, but that's not really what she did. She sort of put down the mamas who were asking about transitions, and that's NOT cool. This line, especially, sparked a nerve for me:

Quote:

I don't come to this discussion to learn "How to not be an attachment parent." But geez...lately, I get the feeling Im being talked out of it.
I abhor anything that seems to impugne another mother's "credentials" as an AP mama. I get so frustrated when AP is bandied about as some specific list of things you have to do to be AP, instead of the living, breathing way of life that it is. It's NOT a list of things to do; it's a way to live, and it's different for each family. My needs and my kid's needs are different from your needs and your kids needs, and those are different from Jane's needs and her kid's. So please, let's not try to pigeonhole it to some senseless list that's devoid of meaning.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

OP, I see where you're coming from. But your dc is not even 1 yet. He is still a sweet, cuddly, small baby. Perhaps when he is an active, kicking, restlessly-sleeping 3yo you will have some perspective on this issue. Not to be snarky or harsh at all, but the way we see things when our kids are babies can change a lot when they get to be older. And what's right and best for them as babies is not always best for them, or us, later on.

I loved sleeping with both my kids. But they are tall and have strong, long legs, and my dh and I sleep in a double bed. Sometime before each turned three, we gently transitioned them into their own beds. Fortunately for us, this was a very easy process. But I would hate to have others who are having difficulty with it feel judged negatively for coming here for help, or for being upfront about being done with co-sleeping.


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## KimberMama (Mar 8, 2002)

We share sleep about half the night; the boys start in their own beds and join us after midnight. 99% of the time I love co-sleeping. I actually enjoy it much more now that they are 5 and 6; it was rough when they were 3 and 4. They move a lot less now and we all seem to have our spots (Eastern King).

I know that we are at a place now where all it would take would be telling them that they can no longer come to our bed, but I'm not ready to do that yet. Waking up together is still one of the joys of my day.

Kimberly


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CariS*
I don't think this was created as an exclusive attachment parenting website.

In that case, you are mistaken. Mothering, and Mothering.com, _are_ about attachment parenting.

The purpose of these forums is not to "support" everybody and every choice indiscriminately. It is not a place to support CIO, or formula feeding by choice, or routine infant circumcision, or spanking, or many other things. It *is* a place to support attachment parenting and natural living, and learning about those subjects.


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## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

*insomniac creeping in*
we've partially transitioned k into her own bed (she spends about half the night there, though she sometimes spends her whole night). we did it because i was NOT SLEEPING anymore. we have a queen-sized bed. my husband is 6-foot and a bed hog, i'm a cover hog and k wants the whole bed as her's-- she's tall for a 19 month old (already 32"!!) and STRONG and pushes her feet into my back and stomach and her father's head. then there are the cats who CANNOT be convinced to sleep anywhere else (trust me, i've tried, but a closed door just makes them more obnoxious). plus, i'm almost 20 weeks pregnant now and am slowly taking up more room in the bed.
we'll probably still be partially co-sleeping with k when q comes along (i'm thinking we may need a co-sleeper because, really, there is NOWHERE for a 4th person to be!) but i hope it really is just partially. co-sleeping with my active toddler just isn't working for the family anymore. when any member isn't getting enough sleep and is thus cranky and short-tempered for the day, the whole family vibe gets off and EVERYONE turns into a cranky, short-tempered grump. and isn't ap all about making decsions based on what is best for your family? i LOVE co-sleeping, i do, but i just can't stand so many people in the bed anymore. i find myself often resentful when k comes toddling in the middle of the night and that is NOT good.
i hope we can understand that being respectful and gentle with our kids extends to being respectful and gentle to ourselves, too.


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