# I guess I belong here now...



## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

...and it really really hurts, no matter how early it was.


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## mom-to-jj (Sep 8, 2008)

No loss, no matter how early, is anything less than the loss of a baby you loved and wanted. I am so sorry.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

I'm so, so sorry


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

I'm so very sorry Mama. (((Hugs)))


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

We're good to each other here. I am so sorry for you loss, mama, really, I am.

*HUGE, enormous hugs, love and light to you* XXX


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## ~Mamaterra~ (Jul 5, 2006)

So sorry Marie.


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

It also hurts no matter how many beautiful children you already have. It is right and okay to grieve.


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

(((Marie))) I am new here too and I've felt a huge outpouring of love from these mamas. I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

I am so sorry mama


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

I'm sorry. It is so hard.


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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

You are right mama - no mater how far or early you are it is still amazingly heartwrenching.


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## LouisianaMomma (Mar 25, 2009)

s No matter how early the loss it still hearts. I lost a baby in March @ 8 weeks pregnant. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)




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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

mama


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Thanks so much everyone. I appreciate the support. Outside of my husband and kids my "family" thinks I should be overjoyed cuz I'm "too old" (31!) and the "economy sucks." Uggh...

I think it's over, I had the worst cramping imaginable for about 3 hrs. last night, it was horrible - then it just stopped. Everything feels really tender now.









I'm just so confused. I have some suspicions as to why this happened. I have a follow up appt. on Wed. and I have a bunch of questions written down. This was supposed to be our last baby - what the heck do I do now?!







:

It's kind of weird right now that everyting just keeps moving ahead and I have to too. *sigh*


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

hi, marie. 31 too old? well, my goodness. i guess none of us should be having babies then, sheesh.

i'm glad your cramping is over now. i remember how incredibly painful the mc cramping is...

the baby i lost was supposed to be our last too. i know it's an incredibly personal and emotional decision but for me, i get some comfort from knowing that i can and WILL try again. as a matter of fact, immediately after the surgery, i told dh that i needed another one.

and it is amazing, isn't it, that life moves on. it's bizarre that people laugh and go to work and actually have concerns that aren't related to *my baby*.


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## youngwife (Apr 5, 2009)

My heart aches for you....I am just so very sorry.
















A child is a blessing no matter what age your are, or what the economy is doing.

Hugs to you,

Rebecca


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## patronia (Nov 28, 2007)

It always hurts, I'm so sorry


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## Dixielane (Mar 11, 2009)

hugs mama


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry.


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## blissful_maia (Feb 17, 2005)

Sweet mama.







I am sorry for the loss of your little one, and that your family/friends are being disrespectful and less than understanding.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Thanks everyone, the support means so much. I, actually, don't want any IRL support right now...does that make any sense? I can't even say the words without crying and I just don't want to deal with that.







:

Feeling some better tonight. Everything is still really tender...I've had 5 c-sections and I can honestly say even THAT didn't make me as tender as this did. It was pretty brutal. DH took me for a walk tonight, I was going stir crazy. I was pretty slow but it did feel really great to get out and force myself to stretch a bit.

I had 5 kiddos without any problems and now this, it makes me really scared to try again. I know that's not really logical, but...

I hate to "end my fertility" with a loss. I certainly have time to think though. Kind of feels like I'm replacing this one though. Eh, my head is really jumbled now, maybe in some time I'll make more sense.

Thanks again, I can't tell you how much the kind words mean.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

That makes sense about not wanting IRL support just yet. I didn't tell anyone apart from my parents and parents-in-law about my first trimester loss, because somehow it was just too painful for me to talk about. Walking is good - I've been going for a walk every day with DH, and it really helps just to get outside and have space to talk to each other and try to appreciate the sunshine and nature. It's become something I really look forward to each day. Wishing you healing and sending hugs.


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## *Jade* (Mar 13, 2007)

I am so sorry for your lost. Mine was very early as well, and it hurt so bad. I also couldn't talk to people out loud, it was much easier to be on forums, or "talk" by email.
Take care


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## ~Mamaterra~ (Jul 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rmzbm* 
I hate to "end my fertility" with a loss. I certainly have time to think though. Kind of feels like I'm replacing this one though. Eh, my head is really jumbled now, maybe in some time I'll make more sense.

Yeah, it really *is* a kick in the teeth. It so would have been nice for us to have the freedom to make that decision. It just leaves sour taste in my mouth along with all of the grieving and trauma from the losses. Like the icing on the cake, except in reverse.

I know for our first loss my thoughts were "well, I guess it is just statistics catching up to me". But after 5 losses, it just feels like my nose is being ground into the dirt. I take little consolation in the specialist saying "well, I guess you are just bearing everyone elses statistics."

Sorry for the negativity....just a sore spot for me.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

I'm so sorry.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I'm so sorry Marie.


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