# How important is socialization for an (almost) 2 year old?



## Nicole Ridvan (Feb 21, 2005)

My only child is almost 2 and has very little interaction with other kids in his life. He has never been in child care and there aren't a lot of opportunities for us to hang out with other families...

I have been considering putting him in Montessori half time next fall because I feel bad that he doesn't get to be around other kids and new activities, but really would rather wait until he is closer to 3 and potty trained.

What do you think?

Thanks
Nicole


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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

i know every child is different......

but my ds started preschool this fall. he was 3 year 2 months. he is a july birthday.
he in all honesty...may have been a bit young. He is doing so much better now at 3 year 6 months.... but it was very bumpy for us in the beginning.....

I would recommend checking with your local parks or Y for some classes. An hour here and hour there.... that will probably be enough until he is older.

hugs


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

Nicole,

My son is 2 now, and I do not feel preschool is necessary at this time. He socializes by being out in the real world every day, interacting with people we see on the errands we run. I think every child is different so some may need more stimulation, a more _____ environment or whatever the case may be. Right now, we hang out, explore the world together and are not planning on preschool any time soon. He is socialized by the kids at the park, my doorman, people on the subway, the cashier at the grocery store, the people on the street.

I have made more of an effort to join playgroups and visit friends often so that we gets the best of both worlds.

There are some really good sites about socialization, and different points of view on the merits of it in a formal education setting versus a home setting. I like this read http://www.naturalchild.com/common_o...s/index.html#6

I am trying to find another I really like.


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

this is a funny one--I enjoy the perspective in this one
http://www.tnhomeed.com/LRSocial.html


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

.My DD goes to the small wonderful daycare she attended when I used to work for 2 afternoons a week - originally it was to give me a break and ease into being home full time, but now its mostly for her - I notice she really remember the kids there and she looks forward to seeing htem again. When I tell her we're going to 'school' she lists off her playmates and gets all excited. The other friends she has outside of that daycare are also frequently mentioned, remember and she loves seeing them. Those clues tell me that this socialization is really important to her.


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## FroNuff (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meco*
this is a funny one--I enjoy the perspective in this one
http://www.tnhomeed.com/LRSocial.html

That was fantastic to read! Thank you for sharing that.

Sorry to butt in on the thread, but I'm struggling with "socialization" issues right now with my own 2 year old and am looking for some advice, too.


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## allismom (Nov 28, 2004)

My daughter just turned two and stays home with me. We do try to engage in at least a weekly playgroup, sometimes just one other kid, sometimes a few. I also take her to gymnastics once a week and an occasional storytime at the library or bookstore. So she is getting socialization, but she is very shy and the only times she is very comfortable are the things we do weekly. For instance, the occasional storytime at the library she is still very reserved and clingy because she doesn't know those people.

I found a preschool in my area that will take them at 2 1/2 and they don't have to be potty trained. I think this is unusual. It is only one day a week for 2-3 hours. I am going to enroll her in the fall, I think she'll get a lot out of it.

I think it will be good for her to learn to take direction from another adult beside mommy too. And also to interact with people while mommy is not there (although I am allowed to stay)

I like that it is only 2 hours once a week, easier on mom and her too


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## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

This is something I go back and forth on as well. At two years old the children mostly play side by side rather than 'with' each other but occasionally I feel that ds needs to be with his own size even if he's just playing side by side. So we go to parks and we try and hook up with friends who have dcs close in age.

For me it's more an issue of how much creativity and imagination I can bring to my mothering. Some days I don't have the energy to do what I feel a good waldorf/montessori preschool could in terms of activities, rhythm, story-telling etc but like the OP says most of them require a child to be potty-trained. And often times 2 mornings is the minimum which for us feels like too much at this point.

What I'm really looking for is a waldorf-inspired mom-and-me group where ds can interact and I can be right there. Anyway OP I think your dc is fine just being with you as long as you're engaged with what you're doing and include him in it. At this age they really like to imitate so things like dishes, sweeping etc are what they really like to be doing with mom watching.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

I, too have an only child, now 3.5. He would get such a big kick from being around other kids that I felt bad that it happened so rarely. If we actually had playdates, the kids didn't really play together and would need constant adult intervention to make sure there weren't problems with both kids wanting the same toys. What we liked best was finding older kids to chase after on the playground (around here there aren't usually any) or to follow around in stores (the other shopping moms must have thought I was weird because I was following him and them instead of dragging him around on my own agenda). Around here, everyone is in daycare and there aren't any activities for toddlers that I can get to w/o a car.

I think that up to about age 3 or 4, they are better off playing with a nice older kid (with your supervision, of course) instead of someone their own age. Kind of like an older sibling substitute, hard to find one, though.

Preschool wasn't an option for us because ds didn't want to be anywhere w/o me. I know otherwise he would be enjoying something like half-day 2 to 3 times a week now that he is 3. I've applied to a Friends School for pre-K which I think he will love and be ready for when he is 4 in the fall.

I wouldn't worry too much about it at your son's age, as long as you try to get out of the house most days I think he is getting plenty of socialization.


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

Let me add that socialization is *very* important...

But socialization is found in everyday life, in interacting with people, in exploring the world, in seeing how mom/dad/people function in the world. Preschool is not the only place a child will be socialized.

And IME my son much prefers kids that are 4-6 and he is 2. He would not get this cross age experience in preschool as he would be with kids that are 2.

Also, reading is such a great way to learn about socialization. A lot of the articles are based from a HSing perspective, but it applies.


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom2AliKat*
That was fantastic to read! Thank you for sharing that.

Sorry to butt in on the thread, but I'm struggling with "socialization" issues right now with my own 2 year old and am looking for some advice, too.









Mom2, google socialization and homeschooling and there are a wealth of articles talking about socialization even if you do not plan on HSing. They are applicable. I struggle too. You should do what is best for you and your children









Also, look for AP groups in your area on www.meetup.com and http://groups.yahoo.com Or start one for free. This is a good way. I found some of my favorite people from MDC and Finding Your Tribe...post there for other mamas who need playgroups. Chances are you are not the only one


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## dr.j (May 14, 2003)

I just wanted to chime in and say there are some preschools that have classes for different age kids. I found an amazing Montessori preschool where my 19 month DS started last month. He goes 6 hours/week, for 2 hours each time, and he absolutely loves it. His class has 18 mo olds to 3 year olds, so I think it gives the room a really nice dynamic (vs a room of all 2 year olds). He's only been going a few weeks, but he's already making friends. My DS is a really intense, highly emotional child, so I wouldn't have put him in most preschools. I think they would have been overstimulating and he wouldn't have received the kind of nurturing he's used to.
I think it's great to give your child opportunities to play with other children (even if it's by having older kids into your house to play while you're home, takaing her/him to the park, etc). I know my DS lights up when we have people over who have kids, and he loves playing with the teenagers in our neighborhood. He also loves hanging out with me, going grocery shopping, and exploring the local parks.
I think if you found a really loving, nurturing Montessori preschool (if the one you found is...I visited one that didn't seem that great before finding this one), then it would be great to give it a try. I am having so much fun watching the way my DS is making friends, bonding with his teachers, and enjoying the pets in his classroom. He yells, "weee" or "play" when we get to his school, and he tells me about his day at night (with little phrases or motions). It's fun to watch him having so much fun.
HTH


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## ggma (Apr 20, 2004)

Hope it's cool for me to chime in here... ds is 16 mo. and he just loves other kids. I am trying to find a way to get him around kids a little older than him because he is fascinated by them. Our local library has a great kids section and we almost always get to say hello to someone small there! Our museum also has a great young kids discovery room that doesn't cost anything. I have one suggestion to put out there - a young person as babysitter/playmate. We have a 13 year old who loves kids and lives close by that comes over and they have a blast together... I stay home and putter, clean, write, whatever.


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## jacksmama (Sep 19, 2003)

I think socialization is important. I have a 19 mo old son and I feel sad for him that he is alone often. I do try to get out and meet other moms, but as other posters said its often hard for kids my ds's age to play together without fighting etc. So I'm constantly vigilant during these times. I find that library story time, gymboree, or kindermusik activities - with the ocassional playdate are sufficient. It would be great to have neighbors or friends with dc a bit older for ds to play with but we haven't found that yet. One idea I did think of, but haven't acted on, is I was toying with the idea of offering to babysit a 3 or 4 year old part time - maybe 2 days a week - just for the play time for ds and I could also make some money to do some really fun things or art projects etc. with them.

I didn't really agree with all of the info on homeschooling. I thought it was a little slanted against school. I didn't roam in a pack picking on people nor did my teachers hit me or humiliate my classmates. Maybe I was just lucky? Not sure, but it all read a little extreme to me. I loved school.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

I agree that it is important. I taught preschool and we had alot of kids that would come in to their first school experience at 4 or so with no previous playgroup/school/daycare experience and it was often a rough transition. Even worse for the kids who had nothing like that until they were in Kindergarten. MY DD is only 12 mon. but we go to a free playgroup at our local library. I am actually signed up to lead the infant & toddler playgroups for our local community ed. starting in April. DD will get to come w/me and get that interaction AND I will get paid







At least around here, there are alot of oppertunities to get social interaction at little or no cost, our local MOM'S group has playgroups, community education, the library, local bookstores,... And there are several other "toddler time" programs that meet at local preschools one or two days a week, usually w/parents in tow. Not only does DD seem to really enjoy going to our group but I get to talk w/other moms, which is nice! Actually, we have playgroup today, so I should go get ready... The only down side is that it takes practically the whole day, by the time we get up, dressed, diaper bag packed, to the library, through group time, home again, blah, blah, blah...


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

Again for clarification--of course, socialization is important.

But preschool is *not* necessarily socialization.

Sending your child to preschool is your choice entirely, but preschool is not the only way to socialize a child. Nor does preschool socialize children all the time.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jacksmama*
I didn't really agree with all of the info on homeschooling. I thought it was a little slanted against school. I didn't roam in a pack picking on people nor did my teachers hit me or humiliate my classmates. Maybe I was just lucky? Not sure, but it all read a little extreme to me. I loved school.

What links are you talking about exactly? Did you read the whole thread? And while you do not agree with HSing, it has time and time again proven itself









I mentioned my links were to discuss socialization not to promote homeschooling. They were to show school and socialization are not the same thing. We were talking about preschool, not grades 1-12. And sure some examples could be extreme, that is called attention getting...and some cases _are[/b] extreme. You cannot insure you kids have the same experience you do.

And you may have liked school, but I hated it. I was bored. And I started school early (most of my peers were almost 19 when we graduated, I was 17). I could already knew all the things we learned, so it was a cakewalk for me. So much that I voluntarily enrolled in a college prep, boarding school that was much more vigorous that any other school I had attended. My teacher never hit ot humiliate me. So all kids are different. Experiences are different. I am curious as to what years you were in school. Also if you were in a small town, suburb or big city, and if you plan to school your child the same.

I did get to read your OP before the edit, and I have to say I am not sure what outdated examples you are talking about. Perhaps the humorous one? It is meant to show the things taught in school (i.e. being with people based on age alone) do not translate well into real life. And it is laughable at best to say knowing a few teachers and how you think they act translates into good schooling (and really it is not the teacher's fault for pushing the agendas for schooling, it is their job).

Homeschooling is not meant to demonize structured public or private school, but if you read Gatto's books (I think one is Dumbing Us Down) you would find that the current system lacks in many places, is outdated itself and does not effectively educate children. Sure homeschooling is not for everyone, of course not...for many reasons, some valid and some questionable. And public school is not for everyone.

Just as one of the PP's Montessori program with kids of different ages may not be the best environment for everyone (which would be the only type of school I would consider).

Me? I would rather be the one who teaches my child, nutures their mind and spirit, holds their hands on the adventure of learning not some person with an agenda I have no control over. I also dislike the dependency school teaches, the lack of real world experience. WE have wonderful learning experiences all over Manhattan that he would never get in a controlled, classroom setting. Rather than talk about something, we go see it close up. I question one fallible system--really could it possibly be in the best interest of millions of children?

And if you did not prefer the articles (again not sure which ones...), possibly read many more books and articles. The best thing you can do for your child is be educated about the subject. I would much rather people present to me a factual explanation of their choice, rather than the just because everyone does it mentality.

Anyway this discussion is









The answer the the OP is:
Socialization is very important. Do not confuse preschool with socialization. They are not one and the same.

Preschool is not important, unless you feel it is for your child._


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

and jacksmama and those who have your kids, at that age my son played best with kids 3-5. Now he is 25 months and he plays fabulously with his friends practically every day. Sure they have spats, but that is part of learning. They also still engage in parallel play from time to time.

We have been way from home for a week now and he asks me where they are, when we will see them. He loves them. Eventually it will change. I did not even consider regular playgroups until about 21 months.

And my son is very personable, not afraid to leave me, loves other people...no signs of not socializing.


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## OwensMa (Apr 15, 2004)

ditto to what Meco said.


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## jacksmama (Sep 19, 2003)

I have no problem with homeschooling. I'm not sure how I've led you to think that. I love homeschooling when it's done well and by a committed parent. I just thought that the article really took some really extreme examples of school - picking the worst of the worst - and citing them - like the rubber strap in the face thing. To me, that was making school out to be a chamber of horrors. And while not perfect nor even desirable - the public school system is hardly a torture chamber filled with adults looking to punish children - which is how I interpreted the author's point of view. I did love school but I think I just like learning and if I had an ap mama who was into teaching me - well that would have just been the icing on the cake! To be frank, the thought of sending my ds into regular school sends shivers down my spine when I think of all the kids in his class whose parents don't nurture them - teaching my son ways of relating to others - it makes my stomach quake a bit. And I didn't mean to attack your pov, I just thought that the article was a little inflammatory.

And if you pov was to say that school isn't the only way or the best way to socialize kids...then ITA.


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