# Giving an OREO to a 10 month old.



## Gumby (Feb 4, 2007)

Share with me your thoughts on this please. Believe me, I have an inkling of what most of you will think, I just need to see it, if you could.

Someone gave my daughter an OREO the other night. I think you can empathize with how I felt.

TIA.


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

Hmmm... I'd be very unhappy, as I think babies and young children need to maximize their nutrition. Empty calories have no role in their diet; many are picky enough that whatever goes in their mouth needs to be nutrient dense, not junk.

From another angle, I would be displeased, as the person would have either A. ignored my request to not feed my child said junk food (thus disrespecting my role as the mom) or B. not asked me in the first place (again disrespecting me as the mom).

Either way, I would not be happy about it. And they would have known it.


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

:


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## IdahoMom (Nov 8, 2005)

Meh. I'm much more relaxed with this baby than I was with my first ones. One Oreo won't hurt her. The mess would tick me off, though!


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## Bellejar (Oct 2, 2005)

Who gave it to her? I think that would have a lot to do with it for me. I always ask before giving anyone's children anything I think might be the least bit objectionable. At ten months an oreo isn't the best choice to be sure, but like the PP said, one oreo won't kill her. I would make sure that the offender knew this was unacceptable in the future though


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Ohhh mama I went through WWIII with my MIL over this very topic...except it was a Snickers bar. She gave my oldest daughter and ENTIRE super size bar when she was 11 months old. I nearly flipped a chicken! My kids have NEVER had fast-food let alone junk food. I just sat down and had a talk over my values as a parent and kindly asked her to respect those values. She does for the most part, I still do breath checks on my daughter when she comes home from grandma's house though..hehehe.


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## delphiniumpansy (Mar 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IdahoMom* 
Meh. I'm much more relaxed with this baby than I was with my first ones. One Oreo won't hurt her. The mess would tick me off, though!

I agree with this. But, I would keep an eye on this person in the future since they are not making very good nutrition decisions for my kids. I would not want my kid to have an oreo for a least another half a year or more.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I'm on my fourth baby and I would not be pleased. Past a year it wouldn't much bother me, but before 12 months I am the Gatekeeper.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

i wouldn't let someone give my 2 1/2 YEAR old an oreo, so certainly wouldn't give one to a 10 month old.

why is an artificial, chemical laden cookie considered a "treat"?

why not a yummy, delicious, juicy peach, or a scrumptious ripe pear?

or, if it just simply HAS to be a cookie, a homemade baked from scratch whole grain cookie?

giving an oreo once, won't "kill" our kids. but i personally would be very careful about setting up an infant's early food experiences like that, which DO impact their food choices over the course of their life.

and that could "kill" them, or at the very least seriously impact their health over the long term. and i'm not just talking obesity (which is a problem of epidemic proportions, by the way).

it has nothing to do with being 'relaxed', too.


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## dimibella (Feb 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I'm on my fourth baby and I would not be pleased. Past a year it wouldn't much bother me, but before 12 months I am the Gatekeeper.









I feel like this too. Before a year, watch it I will smack your hand for trying to give my babe things like that, after a year I ease up a little.


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## Liquesce (Nov 4, 2006)

I think it depends on the child, actually. For example my son of the same age is pretty much onto solids for 50%+ of his caloric intake (by necessity -- supply issues in conjunction with his unwillingness to take enough donor milk or formula from a bottle/cup/etc), and will eat just about anything ... as a result I personally would barely bat an eye, BUT I also know that 99% of the time he's taking in a bulk of healthy foods. (Such as yesterday he had a tiny bit of a brownie ... but he also had more than a tiny bit of broccoli, lima beans, brown rice, eggplant, mixed fruit, lentils, chicken breast, breastmilk, etc, etc, etc.)

In short, I would only stress if we're talking about babies who are brand new to solids, who don't eat many solids, who are proving picky, or who may be likely to have allergy issues. Which, admittedly, at 10 months may well be a majority.


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## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

I'd be angry that the person didn't give ME the Oreo.







: Everyone around me knows that *I* get all the chocolate goodies!


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## Keeping up (Apr 7, 2004)

I am not that fussed by the OREO idea - but like another poster said, I always ask the parent/caregiver if a child wants some of our snacks. (What happens if your child is allergic?)

I would raise it with the individual if they are likely to be around your babe. It would also be likely to communicate my nutritional goals to your common friends so nothing is violated especially as babe gets older, and snack sharing becomes more common.

I am a laid-back mom of four kiddos though - so I work on principal of balanced intake, one cookie isn't going to sink the nutritional boat.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lotusdebi* 
I'd be angry that the person didn't give ME the Oreo.







: Everyone around me knows that *I* get all the chocolate goodies!

Excellent point Debi. If anyone gets the Oreo, it's the mama!







:


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## spmamma (Sep 2, 2007)

I'd be ticked off.







I don't like the idea of giving DD processed foods for quite a while and I'd be really angry with anyone who took it upon themselves to do so.


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

I think that person needs to learn to be more careful. Some kids could be very allergic to different foods, which is why you should never just feed someone else's baby!

If it was a friend/family member who fed my baby that, I'd flip out. Then when I was calm I'd have a stern talk about that. And I'd be very careful about letting my kid be around them unsupervised/in busy company/etc again, depending on the situation.


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## marisa724 (Oct 31, 2003)

I am a super-laidback mama in a lot of ways, but if someone had given DS an oreo at 10 months, there'd have been hell to pay. He had a bunch of food sensitivities and had a very limited diet until he was around 2.

It's not just a matter of it being junk -- it's a matter of being up with DS for days on end while he's rashy, poopy, gassy, etc. etc. And you can bet that helpful oreo-giver would be nowhere in sight for that ordeal.


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## tonimk19 (Feb 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marisa724* 
I am a super-laidback mama in a lot of ways, but if someone had given DS an oreo at 10 months, there'd have been hell to pay. He had a bunch of food sensitivities and had a very limited diet until he was around 2.

It's not just a matter of it being junk -- it's a matter of being up with DS for days on end while he's rashy, poopy, gassy, etc. etc. And you can bet that helpful oreo-giver would be nowhere in sight for that ordeal.

I'd be worried about allegies and any bad outcome as stated above- gas, upset tummy, etc. My parents are coming out when dd's 7 months and my Dad keeps talking about giving her an oreo. I don't think dd will get much in her mouth as we haven't started solids yet but I don't want to do anything that will cause her pain. Would 1 oreo for a 7 month old be really bad and/or worth the cute pics? I dunno- though I would never do it on my own until she's at least a year and then with a homemade cookie... tired of hearing that we did it with you and your siblings and you're fine... Sure- but what happened 24 hours after? Who remembers if we got sick or not?


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## DQMama (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mytwogirls* 
Ohhh mama I went through WWIII with my MIL over this very topic...except it was a Snickers bar. She gave my oldest daughter and ENTIRE super size bar when she was 11 months old. I nearly flipped a chicken! My kids have NEVER had fast-food let alone junk food. I just sat down and had a talk over my values as a parent and kindly asked her to respect those values. She does for the most part, I still do breath checks on my daughter when she comes home from grandma's house though..hehehe.

Yeah, I'd have flipped out at a Snickers bar. We recently learned our dd has a peanut allergy...there would have been hell to pay. Doesn't it say on the wrapper, "Packed with peanuts"???

OP--yeah, depending on who it was, I'd have been pissed. My dad and stepmom, for example, used to try to sneak chocolate to my kids under a year only because they knew how I felt about it. But if my little sister did it or something, I wouldn't be upset. I'd just tell her not to do it again.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

At least it's vegan...


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## Dena (May 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Past a year it wouldn't much bother me, but before 12 months I am the Gatekeeper.

















:

Because there is a lot of research showing that if they have severely limited to no sugar that first year or two, they are much less likely to overindulge later in life. Also, I would be concerned about allergy issues.

And, like a pp said, the act itself is more concerning that the food given, because either they didn't ask if it was OK (I am assuming you would have said NO) or they knew it was NOT ok and just blew you off. Either way, a total lack of respect for you as a parent, and this to me is the underlying issue that needs to be addressed. (Of course, I am assuming here that it is an adult who handed over the junk, not a kid who may not know better.)

I have to say though, I would have been much more upset with my first than with this baby; I don't know that "relaxed" is the right word, as much as that I have a different perspective on the big picture now. I remember with my first being absolutely horrifed when my sil suggested giving her a saltine at 6 mos or so, since I was bound and determined that nothing but whole grain organic sugar free food was going to pass my baby's lips.


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## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bellejar* 
Who gave it to her? I think that would have a lot to do with it for me. I always ask before giving anyone's children anything I think might be the least bit objectionable. At ten months an oreo isn't the best choice to be sure, but like the PP said, one oreo won't kill her. I would make sure that the offender knew this was unacceptable in the future though









Exactly my thoughts!


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## ChristianMomOf2 (Jul 30, 2007)

A friend recently gave my 16 month old son a brownie...

It was his first bites of anything with refined sugar AND chocolate. What if he had a reaction?

I told her, NO sugar, Nothing fried before I walked out the door (and before I walked out the door earlier that week when she watched him).

I did tell her I was upset, and that's the first he's had (which I felt should be for me to decide as his parent). That I know it's not going to kill him, but that I was upset. I said this all in a very calm manner. She apologized... but since she also let him go down the stairs to her basement (no carpet and cement floor at the bottom), I don't think I'm letting her watch him again.

Major bummer, because she and 1 other friend are the only ones who I have to watch him during day time hours. oh well.

Almost everything he's ever had is organic and whole foods. I've worked so hard to prevent stupid things like this... I cried on the way home. I'm over it now though. Can't go back and change it... I just think that until a child is school age, they shouldn't be introduced to the junk...

what's the point of me working so hard to make milk and get up and nurse him all all the time to give him all of those nutrients, then shove a cookie or brownie in his mouth? kwim?

anyway.. I'm rambleing now...


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## Carma (Feb 10, 2006)

I would be most angry about the fact that they didn't ask me. One Oreo won't usually do any harm, but indeed what if there is an allergy. Our family often tried to give our DD lemonade (I give her water), saying that water doesn't taste like anything. Also their excuse for giving junk food is that they are the grandparents, so at their place more things are allowed (like eating junk?!). Very annoying.

Carma


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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

I doubt it harmed her, since it was obviously a rare occasion and not a major part of her dietary intake. No big deal to me. I'd give my 10 mo a bite of cookie. Have, in fact.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

I would freak. Completly.

Sure, they are vegan, but I wouldn't go within 5 feet of an oreo, let alone allow my child (or my charges) to eat (or lick, smell etc) an oreo.

My idea of a treat is blueberries.







:

Depends on who did this to your child, and how well they know you. My friends don't even offer tissue to the children I mind if they have a runny nose, they know I will pull out a little nose rag. So, if one of them offered the children a cookie, it would be on purpose to tick me off, same goes for family.

I would have a huge talk with them, and would lose any trust placed in them.


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## DesertFamily (Feb 16, 2008)

I'm very health-conscious, and so is my family, buy my husband's family is not. They like to make little jokes about giving DS his first candy/ice cream/french fries/steak, etc. because they think I am "wacky" and it will get a rise out of me. I usually just say "Sure, as long as you don't mind changing the massive diarrhea diaper that will follow." They haven't actually tried it yet.

Yeah, an Oreo would annoy me, especially since I wouldn't eat that kind of garbage myself!


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## sparklett (Nov 25, 2006)

If you had asked me about this a few months ago, I would have been FUMING!!

But things change.... I don't keep any sort of junk food at my house, so DS has no exposure to it whatsoever. I don't think an Oreo would kill him (unless he's allergic), but at the same time I don't think I would permit someone to give him a cookie (he's ten months, 90% breastfed, 10% solids, and that's on a good day).

.....HOWEVER..... yesterday my MIL asked me if I would let DS share her ice cream bar. He had a good old time with it, and he has been very standoff-ish with her lately, so instead of freaking about the tiny bit of sugar and lactose intake, I just sat back and enjoyed watching the two of them together and ended it when I thought he had enough. He enjoyed the time with his Nana, and he's alive today to talk about it!









In the end, what you baby eats is up to you, and everyone should trust their gut. If you think an Oreo is detrimental, then take steps to make sure it won't happen again.


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## Bellejar (Oct 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DQMama* 
Yeah, I'd have flipped out at a Snickers bar. We recently learned our dd has a peanut allergy...there would have been hell to pay. Doesn't it say on the wrapper, "Packed with peanuts"???

OP--yeah, depending on who it was, I'd have been pissed. My dad and stepmom, for example, used to try to sneak chocolate to my kids under a year only because they knew how I felt about it. But if my little sister did it or something, I wouldn't be upset. I'd just tell her not to do it again.

Peanut allergy for me and also DD2 and a snickers is totally out of line! I think the no peanuts for a child under two is pretty standard.


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## Gumby (Feb 4, 2007)

Little late getting back to this, thanks for all the replies









It was my DH who gave her the cookie, at 10pm, when she was having trouble sleeping. Oie. And I have a wheat intolerance. So there's that, not to mention the sugar. And the lovely mess smeared on her face, at least most of it went there.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Well....

I'll tell you, it would tick me off way more if it were an actual Oreo (which is hydrogenated oils, sugars, artificial flavors, etc.), than if it were a Newman's O's, for example, or some organic dark chocolate.

Because while I wouldn't want any junk food, per se, ever to be given to my baby (particularly without my consent), one natural goodie isn't the end of the world. But an Oreo... absolute crap.


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## Nikki Christina (Mar 27, 2003)

well. to me , it would not have been a big deal unless i specifically said NO oreos & they gave them anyways

but that wouldnt happen. cause i would have let my 10 month old have one anyways.

& its her father. i do not think he should have to ask your permission. & a mess on her face? welcome to having children!

.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gumby* 
Little late getting back to this, thanks for all the replies









It was my DH who gave her the cookie, at 10pm, when she was having trouble sleeping. Oie. And I have a wheat intolerance. So there's that, not to mention the sugar. And the lovely mess smeared on her face, at least most of it went there.

Okay, one question...

Why do you keep Oreos in your house, if you don't want people in your family eating them? Particularly when you're allergic to them?!

I'd be far more annoyed if my child were somewhere else and this happened, but if its my DH in my own home, taking care of my child... well, that's percisely why we don't keep unhealthy foods in our house. Because everything should be fair game - I don't believe in a no environment when it comes to food in my own home.

That's just me.


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

it would bother me MORE that they didn't ask me first.

we do let DD have cookies, but i try to avoid HFCS, which i am sure there is in oreos









but she has no issues with dairy or wheat that i can tell. we have done a lot of solids, so i am a bit more relaxed about things like cookies at this stage.

for example, we do let her have ice cream occasionally and cake. i am not so much on the store-bought stuff (because of the preservatives, dyes, HFCS! which i think is the devil--can you tell?














...but yeah, at birthday parties, she does have a bit of cake or whatever.


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DesertFamily* 
I'm very health-conscious, and so is my family, buy my husband's family is not. They like to make little jokes about giving DS his first candy/ice cream/french fries/steak, etc. because they think I am "wacky" and it will get a rise out of me. I usually just say "Sure, as long as you don't mind changing the massive diarrhea diaper that will follow." They haven't actually tried it yet.

Yeah, an Oreo would annoy me, especially since I wouldn't eat that kind of garbage myself!

DC hasn't had french fries? really?? i feel like a bad mama. she eats what we eat, which includes occasional french fries...


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

I wouldn't be mad at the actual ingesting of the oreo so much as the mess and the possible upset stomach afterwards. This is all assuming the person giving the oreo didn't know you'd object.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gumby* 
Share with me your thoughts on this please. Believe me, I have an inkling of what most of you will think, I just need to see it, if you could.

Someone gave my daughter an OREO the other night. I think you can empathize with how I felt.

TIA.


I would freak out if anyone gave my child ANYTHING w/ HFCS. My level of freakiness would depend on the circumstances.


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## Gumby (Feb 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Okay, one question...

Why do you keep Oreos in your house, if you don't want people in your family eating them? Particularly when you're allergic to them?!

I'd be far more annoyed if my child were somewhere else and this happened, but if its my DH in my own home, taking care of my child... well, that's percisely why we don't keep unhealthy foods in our house. Because everything should be fair game - I don't believe in a no environment when it comes to food in my own home.

That's just me.

I know, I know, I had a moment of weakness at the store though









And dp suggested exactly what you did, but then when I asked about getting rid of the espresso, things changed.

She'd only had fruit, vegetables and the occasional quinoa and rice up until this point, so it was quite a jump to an oreo.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IdahoMom* 
One Oreo won't hurt her.

Unless she has a food allergy, as others have mentioned. Which, at 10 months, you might not know. In addition to all the preservatives and artificial junk, Oreos contain three major allergens: wheat, chocolate, and corn (HFCS).

These stories make me shudder. If someone ever gave my food-allergic child an Oreo, or a cookie, or, god forbid, a Snickers, she could end up in an ER or worse. Dd was at the park with her sitter the other day, and the sitter had to physically hurl herself between dd and a "well-meaning" couple who tried to give her a piece of bread (she allergic to wheat and eggs, among other things).


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gumby* 
It was my DH who gave her the cookie, at 10pm, when she was having trouble sleeping. Oie. And I have a wheat intolerance. So there's that, not to mention the sugar. And the lovely mess smeared on her face, at least most of it went there.

I think your relationship with dh is more important that protecting baby from one oreo at 10 mo. You should address the health issues, but respect his desire to give her treats and find an acceptable compromise. Maybe some wheat-free Newmans "oreos"? Or some homemade treats?


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gumby* 
I know, I know, I had a moment of weakness at the store though









And dp suggested exactly what you did, but then when I asked about getting rid of the espresso, things changed.

She'd only had fruit, vegetables and the occasional quinoa and rice up until this point, so it was quite a jump to an oreo.

Thanks for not taking offense to my post - I re-read & it sounded a bit snarky. But you got what I meant.

And believe me, I've caved with the occasional "oreo" for myself - but when I do it, it's organic & natural - so just in case someone in the house decides its a good snack - I won't feel badly. Like I said in my first, less snarky post







, a natural goodie really isn't the end of the world.

Organic chocolate is actually good for you.









And my goal isn't to deprive my kiddos of goodies. But to teach them to read labels & make educated decisions about what they put in their bodies.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IdahoMom* 
Meh. I'm much more relaxed with this baby than I was with my first ones. One Oreo won't hurt her. The mess would tick me off, though!

Yep, me too. First kid I would have freaked. Second or third it wouldn't have hit my radar at all.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
it has nothing to do with being 'relaxed', too.










I would disagree. I relaxed a bit with dd2, but when dd3 came along, my entire parenting attitude became much more relaxed. It just wasn't worth the negative emotional energy to get that worked up over something that didn't really matter.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lotusdebi* 
I'd be angry that the person didn't give ME the Oreo.







:











Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnD* 
I am a laid-back mom of four kiddos though - so I work on principal of balanced intake, one cookie isn't going to sink the nutritional boat.

Exactly.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dena* 
I would have been much more upset with my first than with this baby; I don't know that "relaxed" is the right word, as much as that I have a different perspective on the big picture now. I remember with my first being absolutely horrifed when my sil suggested giving her a saltine at 6 mos or so, since I was bound and determined that nothing but whole grain organic sugar free food was going to pass my baby's lips.









I can appreciate having this as an ideal. I do think that keeping healthy choices in the house, modeling snacking on fruit, etc is important - but when Grammy (or Dad in the OP's case) gives an Oreo, no biggie.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChristianMomOf2* 
what's the point of me working so hard to make milk and get up and nurse him all all the time to give him all of those nutrients, then shove a cookie or brownie in his mouth?

But I don't think it negates all the healthy food/breastmilk you give him. That 98% is still very important, and the 2% that the Oreo represents can't overshadow all the rest.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hesperia* 
I would freak. Completly.

Sure, they are vegan, but I wouldn't go within 5 feet of an oreo, let alone allow my child (or my charges) to eat (or lick, smell etc) an oreo.

My idea of a treat is blueberries.







:

My kids cheer when I come home from the store with blueberries; they are a treat here too. But freaking completely over one cookie seems a little out of proportion for the "crime". We are talking about ONE COOKIE. Is it really worth that much emotional energy?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Okay, one question...

Why do you keep Oreos in your house, if you don't want people in your family eating them? Particularly when you're allergic to them?!

This is a good point. I don't think you can be really mad with your dp if you were the one who bought them, and especially if you didn't specifically let him know that you did NOT want your child to have them. My biggest worry would be a bite that was a little big and chokable - though I think an Oreo would dissolve fairly well with some water given.

Dc is a firstborn, right? I really think that this is something that you might not find so upsetting if it were your second or third. I am a firstborn, and my sister and brother are both so much more laid back than I am - directly because my mom mellowed as our family grew IMO. They are not as scared, worried, stressed, picky as I am. I was the "practice kid".







Mom got better at the parenting gig as she went along. I think we all do.


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## Banana731 (Aug 4, 2006)

I keep lots of things in my house my children are not allowed to have, chocolate, wine, R-rated movies... And since I have the ability to use these things in moderation why should I deprive myself of the occasional treat when my children are not around? It's hard job to take care of kids 24/7, if you want to buy yourself some cookies, then buy them! Like your 10 month old _knows_ you're sneaking oreos into the house!









If someone(MIL, neighbor, etc) gave my 10m old the _said oreo_. I'd be a bit miffed, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. If it was my DH, he had better give it to her and then run away faster than I can catch up to him, because I would take that oreo and pelt him in the head with it. But my DH knows that already, so I think the whole scene would be avoided.


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

I would be annoyed but it isnt the end of the world either. I probably would have been more upset with my first kid.


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## nolansmummy (Apr 19, 2005)

i would be mad. With ds we didn't give him sugar/sweets or junk (except tiny slice of cake on his bday) until he was 2.5, the ils freaked. Would not let it go, thought we were depriving him. Now he eats it when he wants to-mostly healthy /junk type stuff like dark chocolate , newmans o's etc.
Dd is just now one and just had some cake on bday, but thats it, oh and the jelly beans she got a hold of this morning-








We like to give our kids a healthy start, for 2 years they don't know what junk is, they don't even want it. They have years to eat junk, i like to keep them free of it while they are young.
Plus the ingredients list on oreos is just


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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
Unless she has a food allergy, as others have mentioned. Which, at 10 months, you might not know. In addition to all the preservatives and artificial junk, Oreos contain three major allergens: wheat, chocolate, and corn (HFCS).

It was the kid's dad. He would know about serious allergies, no? I sure hope so.

I really think it can be harmful to family relationships if one partner doesn't allow the other to parent in their own way. If it's not a serious danger to the kid, I think both partners deserve to be allowed to use their own judgment, even if it might include treats the other wouldn't approve of. Talking over your beliefs about what your kid's diets should include - fine. Freaking out, yelling at the other person, generally implying that they are incompetent to take care of their own child over a cookie - not good.


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## xtara2003x (Sep 25, 2006)

If my DP gave our DD an oreo...i would FREAK. But that would never happen...so









If someone else gave DD an oreo w/o asking..i would freak as well. I would NEVER give a child something w/o asking their parents...unless they were old enough to know better and their parents weren't around. I"d also use my best judgement when dealing with children that are not my own.

Since today is Easter...it's going to be interesting to see what kind of junk my family wants me to feed DD. Sorry..but she's 11.5 months old and does NOT need to eat junk food. I guess my family was feeding this other baby who is 11 months old..PEEPS. PURE SUGAR AND JUNK. *gags*

I think I'm very protective of what my DD eats as well because she is a little on the small side so I feel that every bite should count. TG she nurses tons!!


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## Jilian (Jun 16, 2003)

I would't be pissed off so much about the oreo, but more about the blatant disrespect for not asking before giving my infant food. I do not let anyone give my baby food without asking and if they do, all hell breaks loose. While an oreo isn't the best choice, or a good choice at all, I don't think it can do too much damage.

I think you need you need to have a little chat with whomever gave your baby an oreo and throw down some ground rules and boundaries. Sorry that you were disrespected like that









To the mama who's baby was given a snickers - I'd flip out! There are peanuts in there! My mom gave DS1 a lollipop at 8 mos and I was pretty annoyed. I'm a tiny bit more lenient with DS2 but still don't let him have junk food.


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## Liquesce (Nov 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ccohenou* 
I really think it can be harmful to family relationships if one partner doesn't allow the other to parent in their own way. If it's not a serious danger to the kid, I think both partners deserve to be allowed to use their own judgment, even if it might include treats the other wouldn't approve of. Talking over your beliefs about what your kid's diets should include - fine. Freaking out, yelling at the other person, generally implying that they are incompetent to take care of their own child over a cookie - not good.

I have to agree ... although I would say even the most calm manner of making it clear that Mom has the final word counts, not just freaking out. I've been a primary offender in this category myself -- first baby mama lion syndrome or something -- and I have no doubt whatsoever that doing so was a lot more harmful than an Oreo, or whatever, could ever be to the vast majority of children. A reaction to the food isn't likely where symptom-free "just in case" precautions are being taken. HFCS, etc, isn't good for anyone, but it's not arsenic either. A reaction in the relationship dynamic, on the other hand, is a much greater risk. How often are Dads already feeling left out when a baby arrives just by the nature of the necessary things about which we can't compromise? Sometimes it's just better to step back and breathe.


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## turnipmama (Oct 29, 2006)

Honestly, I wouldn't really have a problem with it provided they asked permission first. I think people should ALWAYS ask the mama before giving a child anything. I really don't think a cookie is going to hurt a 10 month old unless you know they are allergic to something in it. (FTR, DD loves Nilla Wafers)


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ccohenou* 
It was the kid's dad. He would know about serious allergies, no? I sure hope so.

My point was that, with a baby that young, you very well might NOT know about the allergies--b/c the child might not have had the allergenic food before (and there are a TON of ingredients in a processed food like an Oreo). We didn't know my dd had a wheat allergy until she was a year old--that was the first time she had wheat. Then we did allergy testing and she came back allergic to around a dozen foods, and we've since discovered more. If dh or I had given her an Oreo at 10 months (which we wouldn't have done), she would have ended up in the ER, b/c she's allergic to a number of the ingredients they contain. But at 10 months, we didn't know that.


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## dex_millie (Oct 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
i wouldn't let someone give my 2 1/2 YEAR old an oreo, so certainly wouldn't give one to a 10 month old.

why is an artificial, chemical laden cookie considered a "treat"?

why not a yummy, delicious, juicy peach, or a scrumptious ripe pear?

or, if it just simply HAS to be a cookie, a homemade baked from scratch whole grain cookie?

giving an oreo once, won't "kill" our kids. but i personally would be very careful about setting up an infant's early food experiences like that, which DO impact their food choices over the course of their life.

and that could "kill" them, or at the very least seriously impact their health over the long term. and i'm not just talking obesity (which is a problem of epidemic proportions, by the way).

it has nothing to do with being 'relaxed', too.

















:


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten* 
Exactly.

My kids cheer when I come home from the store with blueberries; they are a treat here too. But freaking completely over one cookie seems a little out of proportion for the "crime". We are talking about ONE COOKIE. Is it really worth that much emotional energy?


To me, yes. An Oreo would be reason to freak completly. Sure I say this now, but I have a pretty strong hold on my (and my homes) ideas of treats and what is and isn't ok. It is worth that much emotional energy, it is.

About OP DH giving an oreo, sounds as though someone was tired, at wits end, didn't know what to do, would try anything.....but maybe you guys should have a talk


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## baturay (Jan 15, 2006)

I wouldn't be mad, but I also wouldn't let him eat it. LOL I'd just say "thank you, he's too little, but I'll gladly eat it for him!" and let it be...as I enjoy my cookie.


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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
My point was that, with a baby that young, you very well might NOT know about the allergies--b/c the child might not have had the allergenic food before

Either way, the kid is allergic or isn't. Maybe an allergy would declare itself with a new food, but it's not only evil cookies that could precipitate a reaction. It could just as easily be a whole wheat rotini or a piece of wild-caught salmon. In any case, it sounds like the issue here was more that this was an "unhealthy," sugary treat than that it was in any way likely to be an immediate medical concern.


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ccohenou* 
Either way, the kid is allergic or isn't. Maybe an allergy would declare itself with a new food, but it's not only evil cookies that could precipitate a reaction. It could just as easily be a whole wheat rotini or a piece of wild-caught salmon. In any case, it sounds like the issue here was more that this was an "unhealthy," sugary treat than that it was in any way likely to be an immediate medical concern.

Right--but the thing about whole wheat rotini or salmon is that these are individual foods. An Oreo has the following ingredients:

sugar, enriched flour (wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate [vitamin B1], riboflavin [vitamin B2], folic acid), partially hydrogenated soybean oil, cocoa (processed with alkali), high fructose corn syrup, baking soda, cornstarch, salt soy lecithin (emulsifier), vanillin - an artificial flavor, chocolate

So, instead of just wheat or fish, you've got a bunch of potential allergens: wheat, chocolate, corn, and soy. The whole reason for introducing foods one at a time to kids this age is so you can 1) identify the specific allergen, should a reaction occur and 2) avoid the child reacting to several potential allergens at once, which could intensify the reaction significantly.

You're right, of course, that the issue in this case was the "sugar-y treatness" (and not just sugar, but HFCS, hydrogenated oil, and high levels of processing); I was responding to the old "one Oreo won't kill her" canard that gets trotted out every time there's a thread like this.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hesperia* 
To me, yes. An Oreo would be reason to freak completly. Sure I say this now, but I have a pretty strong hold on my (and my homes) ideas of treats and what is and isn't ok. It is worth that much emotional energy, it is.

I remember feeling this way when dd1 was little (she is almost 12 now, and I've had two more kids since). I really believe that if you printed this out and stuck it in the front of your address book, that five years from now you may feel very differently.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Meh. I had a couple-month long oreo binge when ds was 8-11 months ish. I couldn't just sit their and much away without sharing... so he had one or two every now and then. And some of them were oreos and some of them were the uber expensive newman's o's.

DS gets the same treats as I do. I can understand the upset, but I mean really. I'm sure your dc's going to have lots of the stuff later on. I try to keep DS from having too much at a time, and try not to let him have too much pop. But, really, I'm not gonna freak over every little thing. Life's too short, ya know?


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## newmama8824 (Jul 8, 2007)

Come on, really? 1 oreo?

I don't really see what the big deal is... it's just ONE oreo. It's not like she eats them all the time... I would be upset if I had specifically said not to give it and they did anyways, but one oreo that your partner gave to her that were in your house?!?!

Big deal.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

If it was my DH that did it, I would try to remember that he can make parenting decisions too. Then I would have a discussion about what 10 month olds can eat.


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## nalo (Oct 25, 2005)

I would have freaked. Especially since DD doesn't really eat solids yet and has food intollerances. I have to add this story to the mix. DD and I were in the drive thru lane of the bank the other day (DD in rear facing carseat, she is 9 months and looks like a boy because I never put her in pink and she's the spitting image of her dad) and the bank teller says in all seriousness, "is he too young for a sucker"? I just about died! I couldn't believe my ears. I snottily said, "uh...YEAH!"


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Liquesce* 
I have to agree ... although I would say even the most calm manner of making it clear that Mom has the final word counts, not just freaking out. I've been a primary offender in this category myself -- first baby mama lion syndrome or something -- and I have no doubt whatsoever that doing so was a lot more harmful than an Oreo, or whatever, could ever be to the vast majority of children. A reaction to the food isn't likely where symptom-free "just in case" precautions are being taken. HFCS, etc, isn't good for anyone, but it's not arsenic either. A reaction in the relationship dynamic, on the other hand, is a much greater risk. How often are Dads already feeling left out when a baby arrives just by the nature of the necessary things about which we can't compromise? Sometimes it's just better to step back and breathe.

Sooo well said. Or how about the child wondering why one parent doesn't trust the other parent to care for them? That could be pretty frightening for the child, especially if they're ever left alone with the dad.


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## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DoulaMary* 
I would have freaked. Especially since DD doesn't really eat solids yet and has food intollerances. I have to add this story to the mix. DD and I were in the drive thru lane of the bank the other day (DD in rear facing carseat, she is 9 months and looks like a boy because I never put her in pink and she's the spitting image of her dad) and the bank teller says in all seriousness, "is he too young for a sucker"? I just about died! I couldn't believe my ears. I snottily said, "uh...YEAH!"

Why would you feel the need to be snotty about that? Is it possible the teller just didn't have any kids? Or just wanted to be friendly?


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

I wouldn't care. I thought it was little strange if people didn't ask, if it was someone who didn't know me well enough to know if there was nay history of allergies.

Most people could tell I just wasn't uptight about food though. I didn't serve stuff like that at home, at that age, but no biggie if she had the occassional cookie or whatever when we were out.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
Or how about the child wondering why one parent doesn't trust the other parent to care for them? That could be pretty frightening for the child, especially if they're ever left alone with the dad.

I think this is one of the most insightful things I've read in many years on MDC. I always trusted dp to care for dd1, but I remember thinking that I knew how to feed, bathe, comfort, put her to sleep the "right" way, and dp didn't - at least to my standards or opinions.

And the poster who said moms have the final word - why? We get 75% of the say and dads get 25? I don't understand that at all, and though in theory it works well for me as I'm the mom, I don't think it is fair, right or progressive at all. Our children are OUR children, not mine on loan to him.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
Why would you feel the need to be snotty about that? Is it possible the teller just didn't have any kids? Or just wanted to be friendly?

Or was told by her boss to offer if there are _any_ kids in the car, regardless of age - so the parent could decide? I do think it is annoying when they ask out loud, so the kids hear and start clamoring (is that how you spell that?) for the lollipops. I much prefer the "anything else??" while pointing at the candy jar. Easier to deny, more because I don't like my kids to be eating hard (chokable) candy in the car than the sugar aspect.

In the name of good karma, I'd apologize to the teller the next time going through the drive through.


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

yeah, i have to say the fact that your DH did it makes it different. presumably he knows if your DC has allergies or has not been exposed to certain foods due to allergy concerns...right? so if he thought an oreo was okay, it probably was...at least sort of.

i would be mad if my mom gave DD sweets without asking or telling me she planned to. (last night she told me she planned to give DD some pineapple upside down cake and would pick the walnuts off. that is good enough for me.) but my DH asking me for permission to feed his daughter something? not so much. he knows what she has had and what is out of bounds for now (honey, nuts, shellfish, and he knows i avoid HFCS and preservatives as much as i can), and i trust him to feed her something more or less appropriate. we might have slightly different standards, but they aren't far apart enough to cause her real harm.

those with DCs with food allergies...that is a whole other ballgame that i can't even comment on because we haven't experienced it. but presumably, your partner knows what is okay or what is off-limits (either because of allergy or because it hasn't been intro'd yet), and if your partner does NOT, then he isn't around enough







:


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## bellymama (Apr 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gumby* 
Share with me your thoughts on this please. Believe me, I have an inkling of what most of you will think, I just need to see it, if you could.

Someone gave my daughter an OREO the other night. I think you can empathize with how I felt.

TIA.

dude, she's so going to be stunted for life...
just kidding, B...that sucks. i'd be annoyed. but i bet she reeeeeeaaaaaalllllly liked it.
i gave my boy a little bit of my brownie today (we are talking itty bitty piece, calm down everyone) and he was so amazed by the flavor.
did she have any allergic reaction from the wheat?


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## bellymama (Apr 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lotusdebi* 
I'd be angry that the person didn't give ME the Oreo.







: Everyone around me knows that *I* get all the chocolate goodies!

the fudge covered ones are like little pieces of heaven. peaches are nice, but chocolate is god.


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## bellymama (Apr 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *IdahoMom* 
Meh. I'm much more relaxed with this baby than I was with my first ones. One Oreo won't hurt her. The mess would tick me off, though!


i feel the same. but it's weird because 10 months ago, i got so mad at my MIL for giving ds some fresh peach from the tree in her backyard (he was 5 months)...but now, i wouldn't even blink.


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## Tiny_Dancer (May 18, 2007)

Seriously, I would freak. But, what's done is done and all you can do is to tell the person that you choose not to feed (fill in the blank) to your dd. Hopefully they will respect your wishes.

My extended family knows we don't give sugar to dd and they are pretty respectful of that. Just the occasional teasing about our "strict-ness!"


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