# WWYD if you had sextuplets?



## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

This is a S/O of the jon and kate plus 8 thread in television. They are a couple who had twins and then sextuplets.

One of the ideas that keeps coming up in the thread is, "If I had sextuplets I couldn't be AP either."

I'm just curious-- what WOULD you do as an AP parents if sextuplets landed on your lap?

Would you breastfeed? Cosleep? Do scheduled naps? Scheduled meals? What would you be able to maintain and what would you sacrifice?

I think I would divide the kids 3/3 even if it meant giving up a bedroom and sleeping in an unorthodox place myself. I would make my own sleep a priority so that I would be able to function, so I probably wouldn't cosleep and I might do scheduled naps. I wouldn't do scheduled meals, though, I would let the kids "graze." As far as breastfeeding when they were infants







: I have no clue what I would do.

I would basically try to make the house or certain rooms as kid safe as possible so there would be limited dangers if I were not watching them constantly.

It's really hard for me to imagine though!


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## BetsyS (Nov 8, 2004)

I wonder about the breastfeeding. I'm on another board with someone who has twins. She doesn't produce enough milk for even one baby (this are #s 3 and 4; she's tried everything), but she still nurses the babies sometimes, along with formula. I'd like to think that I'd still nurse some, just not all 6, all the time.







:

Even with one baby, we have the same naptimes, snack times, and mealtimes every day. It just fell into place, and my brain loves it. So, absolutely, with 6, that's what I would do.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

As an AP parent, I think it is it a lot about being intuitive with our kids. I would parent from the heart as best as I could. Breastfeed as much as I could, co-sleep, etc. You could put a king size bed and a twin together to sleep with all those babies. I think it depends on the person.

I do not schedule meals now. I wouldn't do it then either. I would make a room that we could hang out in that is child safe. I really am into playing with my kids and being with them so I guess it would be x6. I clean and do laundry at night. I think I would cook on the weekends and freeze for that many people.

Having 6 is not even a possiblity for me since I do not believe in IVF.
This is just all my opinion. It is not meant to offend.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

Well, my religious beliefs wouldn't allow me to use fertility treatments, and I'm not sure if it ever happens naturally? I would breastfeed but I know I'd have to employ bottles, either of EBM or formula. I would have all the kids in my room probably,and rotate them out of the bed througout the night (2-3 in bed at a time).


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

honest to god i think I'd have to hire a nanny!
I would probably not cosleep. I would have three of them in each crib together as multiples are supposed to do best when kept together (when they are tiny). Then probably try to let them cosleep (3 to a bed) in a double bed as they get bigger???
Breastfeeding- I'd do my best but probably supplement everyone with formula.
I schedule meals now (with lots of snacking allowed) and would do that the same.
good lord, I really don't know. I'd be really overwhelmed and would need way more help then they seem to. I'd definitely have a maid come do the deep cleaning stuff once a week.
I've heard a few cases of quadruplets and quintuplets happening naturally, so I guess It's always a possibility!


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## dealic (Feb 25, 2007)

Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

I was JUSt about to say that.


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## MommaGreenBean (May 8, 2007)

I'd still be, what I believe, is AP.. but in order to make sure everyone was fed, changed, etc, there would be a schedule. We'd all co-sleep, but I don't see how I could have six infants all on demand feeding and not have a quiet one slip through the cracks. If money wasn't an issue I'd hire lots of help and then maybe could. If money wasn't an issue I'd be looking into milk bank milk as well. I'd breastfeed all I could, but I don't think I'd be hooked up to a pump all the time.

Twins run in my family... I've thought about twins a lot, but realistically I doubt I'd ever have more than 2 at once. Twins I'd be the same as I am with my singleton, I'd just have to figure out how to nurse two at once and still sleep









Interesting question


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

What would I do? Well, first I would FREAK OUT.







Okay, then after getting over the shock, I would still try to integrate some AP practices.

BFing - I doubt it, since I didn't make enough milk for even one baby. My breastmilk was like liquid gold and we had to supplement w/ formula which really saddened me. I got over it, though, and we have a very healthy little boy, and I'm glad he had the breastmilk he did. I would try to produce some so that each child could get a little.

Cosleep? Probably take turns and play it by ear.

Scheduled meals? I would feed on demand when they were little and probably try to head towards a schedule.

Naps? Same as meals. When they were tiny babies they would do what they do, but try to get all 6 kids on a similar sleeping schedule (I have no idea HOW though)









Babywearing - take turns.

The thing is, too, is even if you are very much against CIO (which I am) I don't see a practical way that you could attend to all the babies if they are crying at once. I know a mom who has triplets and she has struggled with this, so I don't see a way around it w/ 6!!!

I would also hope to have some help somehow, so that I could maintain my own sanity.

Personally, I wouldn't do IVF (and I have nothing against it, it is just not something *I* would do) so this is all speculation for fun.


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## Elowyn (Nov 3, 2003)

Just for the record, it's not IVF that produces sextuplets. IVF transfers back 2-3 embryos the vast majority of the time (occasionally four in an "older" woman with many failures.) Never six.

Injectables + IUI gives you sextuplets, if poorly monitored.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

I think I would co-sleep, but it would probably me just me and the kids. I can't imagine hubby being willing to sleep with that many babies in the bed! I found when DD was born (and DS was still chronically ill) that as long as I got one good shift of sleep per week, I could make it fine.

I'd definitely hire someone for help with housework. It would just be too exhausting to do it all the time.

Right now DS eats as he wants. We do have mealtimes (not a set time everyday, but a time when we all sit together), but we have snacks on a low shelf that he's free to get as he wants. I'd probably expand that and make it more out in the open with that many kids.


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## nolansmummy (Apr 19, 2005)

I think i wouldn't exclusively nurse the babes, but i would try and pump as much as i could (if i ever had time) and mix the milk with their bottles of formula, or else rotate them thruought the day. Nursing one or two at a time. I think ap is just listening to your heart and doing what is best for your family. As for cosleeping, if i could have all 6 sleep at the same time, it would probably be in their own rooms, 3 to a crib at first (hey, they are still cosleeping, just not with me) and hopefully i would get some sleep.
As far as keeping the house clean or doing much of anything else , i probably wouldn't and i would have to hire help for sure. I'm not near organized enough .
It scares me to just imagine.







:


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

I only have 1 dc and feel parenting AP style is so much easier with 1. plenty of room in our king size bed, no issues of weaning during pg -child or adult led. There's just no way to sling several dc. I think 2 infants would be my max to carry.

IF I ever had several at on time I could easily see myself having a nanny, full-time with 6dc! I would consider having the dc co-sleep with eachother as being AP


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## psyche (Apr 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

That, on the incredibly remote chance that I would ever engage in risky fertility-treatment behavior*.

I don't think that I could parent that many same-aged children responsibly, which to me includes some/many aspects of AP.

* By risky, I mean treatments that are even slightly more likely to result in anything more than twins.


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

First off, I'd sue my doctor. Implanting sextuplets is unethical and should be illegal. We're women. We do have multiple births, which is more rare and special but we do not have litters of babies. That's cat territory. And have you ever watched a mama cat who has had it with her litter? She just gets up, walks away, and the kittens fall off her boobies wherever they fall and then make their way back to bed. And then mama cat hides for awhile and spends an inordinate amount of time grooming her butt.









Secondly, I'd selectively reduce.

I don't think you could AP sextuplets WELL. You can't cosleep with each baby and gaze into each other's eyes in the middle of the night - you're always feeding or diapering someone. I would guess that their entire childhoods would be something like that.

And I would have done IUI or IVF if it had come to it. I just believe fertility treatments need to be handled more ethically.

Around here, there's a family that had six babies when my DD was born. Not only were they on TV every night complaining how much money it took to raise their babies but they always went on and on about how marvelous it was to have those babies. Two of them are/were institutionalized because of their severe brain damage due to their premature birth and have never been home with her. It may be a very nice insititution but it still isn't a mama!! And I think one is already dead due to infections. Not the greatest life for anyone.


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## Starr (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 
First off, I'd sue my doctor. Implanting sextuplets is unethical and should be illegal.









Again, you do NOT implant (IVF) six embryos, IVF does not lead to high numbers. If your going to go down that road, questioning fertility treatments, please try to get things straight.

Sorry if I appear bitchy but we are starting fertility treatments and you can not imagine the number of people that tell me, just don't implant 6 babies. Thats not how it works...


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## MommaGreenBean (May 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr* 

Sorry if I appear bitchy but we are starting fertility treatments and you can not imagine the number of people that tell me, just don't implant 6 babies. Thats not how it works...

I'm sorry people say that to you. I can only imagine having to go through fertility treatments


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## amyable (Dec 24, 2006)

Not sure if this is the case with John and Kate, but I could have sworn I was watching another similar show where the reason they had the high number (5-6 fetuses) was because they implanted 3-4, and two of them spontaneously "twinned". I admit I was sleep deprived but I don't think I misunderstood the whole show. I remember in the case of the couple on the show, two of them died in utero on their own, late in the pg.







: So I'm just throwing this out there that it is possible to get more than you implant with your IVF.

As to the OP, I think I would panic, then panic some more! LOL Adding 6 to my five would be interesting to say the least! But I have a feeling I would be MUCH less AP with six than with my one-at-a-timers. I would do my best to be as close and individually responsive as I could, though - like one of the other posters said, "parenting from the heart" for each child.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Great thread! Cool to think about it.

Let's see....I'd cosleep with any high needs children, or sick ones. The rest would be pared up 2 to 3 so that they could co-sleep with each other.
I'd breastfeed and formula feed. My nutrition and health would keep me from breastfeeding all of my children all of the time, but all of them some of the time would be doable.

Forget about the sling.LOL I'd have one or two slings, but I'd probably have some kind of contraption and help. So, at the park, I'd be wearing one or two and have someone helping me.

I'd probably still use cloth diapers because I don't find them to be an inconvenience,but it would be paper at night because I don't want to wake for leaks.

Our dr. would have to make a housecall.LOL I have a hard enough time taking my 3 children out of the house, much less 6 additional children. Oh, darn and I'd have to get one of those ugly vans that guzzle gas.

Ok, this thread is now just making me tired.LOL
Lisa


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elowyn* 
Just for the record, it's not IVF that produces sextuplets. IVF transfers back 2-3 embryos the vast majority of the time (occasionally four in an "older" woman with many failures.) Never six.

Injectables + IUI gives you sextuplets, if poorly monitored.

Or Injectiable with just SEX - is that against religions, too? I thought it was just the handling of the sperm that was a no-no? I believe the McCaughey's had their IUI cancelled due to too many eggs and chose to have sex anyway, and they ended up with their 7 children.


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jennifer3141* 
First off, I'd sue my doctor. Implanting sextuplets is unethical and should be illegal. We're women. We do have multiple births, which is more rare and special but we do not have litters of babies. That's cat territory. And have you ever watched a mama cat who has had it with her litter? She just gets up, walks away, and the kittens fall off her boobies wherever they fall and then make their way back to bed. And then mama cat hides for awhile and spends an inordinate amount of time grooming her butt.









Secondly, I'd selectively reduce.

I don't think you could AP sextuplets WELL. You can't cosleep with each baby and gaze into each other's eyes in the middle of the night - you're always feeding or diapering someone. I would guess that their entire childhoods would be something like that.

And I would have done IUI or IVF if it had come to it. I just believe fertility treatments need to be handled more ethically.

Around here, there's a family that had six babies when my DD was born. Not only were they on TV every night complaining how much money it took to raise their babies but they always went on and on about how marvelous it was to have those babies. Two of them are/were institutionalized because of their severe brain damage due to their premature birth and have never been home with her. It may be a very nice insititution but it still isn't a mama!! And I think one is already dead due to infections. Not the greatest life for anyone.









First, in IVF they don't "Implant" embryos. They transfer them. They implant on their own ONLY if conditions are right and the embryo is viable. And it's not black/white/cookie-cutter. Some patients, like most of the women you will hear about with HOM, have PCOS, which means they don't ovulate but when you give them even a TINY amount of FSH they will make several+ eggs. THESE are definitely patients REs need to be VERY careful with, and I do agree with that. I don't know what the % is for this type of patient, but there are MANY other types of patients out there needing care, and their problems are a LOT more complicated and may need more aggresive treatment. To say "NEVER transfer more than 1 or 2" or "NEVER stimulate for IUI more than 1 or 2 eggs" - which is true of some women - would be a HUGE disservice to other women - and again, THESE women who NEED the aggressive treatment are not the usual types you hear about getting HOM.

Edited to answer the OP:
After 6 years of infertility, if I were to somehow get pregnant with 6 (NEVER would have happened) I would find myself devastated, as the CHANCES of carrying as long as Jon and Kate is super unlikely. I would feel my only choice was to reduce to twins to increase the chances of live babies at the end. It would be heartbreaking and would consume my entire pregnancy, I'm sure.
If somehow I got 6 thrust on me (Jon and Kate left them to me) I'd just try to do the best I could. No point in trying to 'GUESS' how I'd handle it when I've had ONE child for the past 8 years - I have NO idea.


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## daniedb (Aug 8, 2004)

All I can come up with is, "Run. Run far, far away!"







:


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## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

I would run away.







:


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## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *daniedb* 
All I can come up with is, "Run. Run far, far away!"







:









, Should have read ahead, lol.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

I think I would have to have a strategic plan in place to prevent me from committing suicide.

I think if you have that many newborns that you CANNOT commit to a parenting style--you do what needs to be done so hopefully you can survive until the fun part.

I think having sextuplet toddlers would be a gas, though.


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

I'd probably schedule. I'd sleep in the room with the babies, and let my DH sleep in another room. I'd beg, borrow and steal money to get a nanny helper.

I'd still sling, but I'd have to play it by ear as to who needed it. And then go out of my way to notice the one's that don't seem to need it and do it for them too because they probably do and just don't know it.

But I probably wouldn't do the type of treatment that would cause this many babies. Then again, I don't have that problem so I can't really say that sure and certain.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommaGreenBean* 
Twins I'd be the same as I am with my singleton, I'd just have to figure out how to nurse two at once and still sleep









I've got to say, as a twin mom...you're never the same with them as you are with singleton. And nursing is the easiest (at least barring latch problems and supply problems) part of the equation. Nursing the boys was no harder than nursing my girl.

However...just about everything else was. You simply do not have enough arms to be "the same" with your twins as you are with a singleton, particularly if you already have a singleton or two that needs you as well.


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## daniedb (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *L&IsMama* 







, Should have read ahead, lol.









I couldn't believe I was the first to say it!


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CherryBomb* 
Well, my religious beliefs wouldn't allow me to use fertility treatments, and I'm not sure if it ever happens naturally? I would breastfeed but I know I'd have to employ bottles, either of EBM or formula. I would have all the kids in my room probably,and rotate them out of the bed througout the night (2-3 in bed at a time).

Ditto. As for snacks when they are older, I'd do the muffin tray and just refill it a lot. As is, we already do breakfast, lunch and dinner at roughly the same times. And I'd just buy a ton of cloth diapers (kissaluvs probably) and do a lot of laundry.


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## bechand0128 (Mar 22, 2006)

We did (minor) fertility drugs to concieve ds2, and are considering it again for late next year if we haven't concieved #3 naturally - and we won't. Lets just say that my fallopian tubs/ovaries were royally effed up by a very crappy doc.

Dh and I never even considered the possibility of multiples w/ ds2. I dunno why, it just never occured to us. But we've met, since then a gazillion people who had twins and triplets - and one girl with quads! - w/ the same method we used. So we talked about it and determined we could never selectively reduce. If we were blessed w/ multiples, we'd figure it out. Twins, we'd breastfed. Anything beyond that, probably not. The babies would co-sleep with eachother. I would babywear - I think you'd have to avoid CIO, and I just can't do CIO, no matter how many kids. And I'd probably schedule feedings depending on the kids needs. If I had enough assistance, I'd totally cloth diaper. But I'd need someone to help w/ laundry. LOL If the kids took pureed baby food, I'd make my own. I'd probably really piss off my kids pediatrician. Many times.


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## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I think having sextuplet toddlers would be a gas, though.

God bless you.







I think that would be worse than newborns! I would probably have my mug all over TV as the "missing mom of sextuplet 2 year olds".


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *L&IsMama* 
God bless you.







I think that would be worse than newborns! I would probably have my mug all over TV as the "missing mom of sextuplet 2 year olds".

I think screaming tantrums are kind of cute.







And if you got one of those kid harness things (like they sell in school catalogs), and a pair of roller skates, you'd never have to walk uphill again! And the sibling-enhanced childproofing testing team would be like having the Cirque du Soleil in your own living room. If two kids can boost each other over the gate, think what 6 could accomplish! You could be extremely popular on YouTube.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

I'd breastfeed as much as I could, but I'd probably have to suplement with formula.

I don't know if I'd cosleep. I'd probably put three to a crib and cosleep with whichever one I fell asleep with while nursing in bed.

I think I'd try to encourage naps all together, at least when they're older, but I don't know how possible that would be. It would do them no good if I was unable to get any sleep because then I would not be able to take care of their needs.

We'd have scheduled meals, like we do now with our two children, but we certainly wouldn't let anyone go hungry in between meals! Bottles/nursing would be on demand as much as possible.

I would have to take turns with the babywearing, but it would just feel unnatural not to be carrying *SOMEONE*.

Cloth diapers? Sorry, no way.

Crying it out? Chances are, even with lots of help, someone would end up crying it out sometimes, with that many babies.









Softmama, I'm with you on hiring a nanny and a maid!

Tigerchild, I've worked in daycare with toddlers and preschoolers. I'm with you on sextuplet toddlers being a gas. Once you knew what you were doing and once you worked out some kind of routine (and, yes, some kind of schedule, if minor, would have to be in the works), six two year olds is very tiring, but it's not as hard as it sounds... most days.

My Hubby, though? I think he'd run as fast and as far as he could if I turned up pregnant with sextuplets!







And my kids would be right behind him!


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## BoringTales (Aug 1, 2006)

I really don't think it'd be possible to exclusively breastfeed 6 babies. Even if you could produce enough, that would be your entire day...nursing and eating.

I really don't know what I'd do. If I somehow naturally conceived sextuplets I wouldn't selectively reduce. I just couldn't. I would nurse as much as possible, supplement the rest. My MIL would become a pretty permanent figure around here helping out.

I think w/ that many you just do what you have to do to get through another day...


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaFinch* 
Or Injectiable with just SEX - is that against religions, too? I thought it was just the handling of the sperm that was a no-no? I believe the McCaughey's had their IUI cancelled due to too many eggs and chose to have sex anyway, and they ended up with their 7 children.

No, that is not accurate. The doctors only saw 3 or 4 eggs when they were monitoring her. They don't know how it ended up being 7 but they did NOT have their IUI cancelled or go against their doctors wishes.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

The must unlikely case for us lol.... I would never do IVF (or anything of the sort) and I dont think 6 just naturally can happen and twins done even run in either of our families! lol....But...just for the fun of it!............

Co sleeping would still be possible. I would just have to make one room the 'sleeping room'! Lay the whole floors with foutons and thats where we would ...sleep! lol

I dont think bf would be possible. I mean...it would be... But I suppose it would depend on the babies! I think the more logical thing to do here is express as much as I could and divide it up between them so they all got equally the same amount of milk as I could give them. Actually bf them would be nice, but then they might not all get some, I may never actually be doing anything other than bf then, and bm is just important in itself - so if I could equally share that out with all, that might be what is more important.

I could at least babywear two at a time lol

I would also seek counceling


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaFinch* 
Or Injectiable with just SEX - is that against religions, too? I thought it was just the handling of the sperm that was a no-no?

I'm sure it depends on your religious beliefs. I just can't do anything that separates sex and procreation. I think clomid would be okay for Catholics, but don't quote me.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

Me too, down to twins or a singleton.


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## CalebsMome (Apr 25, 2007)

There were sextuplets on Oprah a while back on sibling day and that mom exclusively breastfed sextuplets for about 6 months or so, until they started biting. I remember it because I remember saying "okay, next time we're definately making the BF thing happen. If she can do it with 6, I can do it with one (or two)."


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Wow.....trying to think about what it would like to be told that you are pregnant with 6!









I am a UC/homebirth mama to start with. So I would figure that out as I turned into a watermelon at 6 weeks along.







Would have to figure out alternative plan as I do not think homebirth with 6 would be an option.







:

Honestly....I do not know how I would do things. I do know that the Lord's would give me the strength. It would be a heck of a ride!


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I would be terrified to have 6 babies! I doubt I would be able to AP well. Atleast one would be always crying. My dd was/is high needs, and would scream like you were ripping her toe nails off every time I would try to put her down for the first 15 months. I can't imagine having more than one of those at a time! I doubt bfing would work well but I would try. They would have to get so many bottles they would probably develop nipple preference pretty early. I would not be willing to EP. I wouldn't want to get up during the night to pump when I already had to get up with 6 crying babies at night. I don't think many people can make enough milk for 6 babies. Maybe 3, but not 6! I would try to not CIO, but again, with only 2 arms and 6 babies, it would just happen sometimes. I would attempt feeding schedules, but not deny anyone food if it wasn't "time". How else could you survive? I would not co-sleep. I would try to time naps and night sleep together. Mom needs some sleep! I would sling one or two at a time, whoever needed it the most, and I would try to rotate. No way would I attempt to CD. One or two babies, yes. 3 or more? Nope.

I am another that thinks it would be a blast to have 6 two year olds, though. I didn't really like the baby days with my dd (colic and high needs) but I am LOVING toddlerhood! She is 2, and wouldn't mind having more the same age now. Life is fun!


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## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
And if you got one of those kid harness things (like they sell in school catalogs), and a pair of roller skates, you'd never have to walk uphill again! And the sibling-enhanced childproofing testing team would be like having the Cirque du Soleil in your own living room. If two kids can boost each other over the gate, think what 6 could accomplish! You could be extremely popular on YouTube.









OMG! I almost choked on a cherry tomato!


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I would breastfeed in the hospital, and probably go to exclusively formula when I got home. I know how important BFing is, but having a relationship with my children would be more important than pumping to me.

The babies would be 2/3 to a crib, with sick or otherwise needy babies cosleeping with me and/or DP.

Cloth diapers are great, but would be too overwhelming to me with 6, laundry-wise.

I would wear whoever needed it most at the moment.

Naps and meals would definitely be scheduled as much as possible without resorting to CIO.

I would hire a nanny AND a housekeeper.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I guess I don't think scheduling and AP are exclisive if they work for your baby. My last was fairly scheduled. I figured we would start with what seemed good and tweek it as we went. She ended up pretty much sticking with what we started with and thrived. But i was willing to adjust and ditch if at any time it didn't seem to be the optimal situation. (we did this because my second would have really benifited from a schedule - still does at the age of 7- but my hardcore resistance to a schedule or taking any kind of control really made a mess of things). anyway we scheduled her naps and fed her before and after each nap. which made meals scheduled by default. I was also really big on encouraging her to nurse a full feeding rather than snacking becuase snacking annoys me to the point of weaning.

even once my kids start solids we have 3 meals and a snack. I am not a fan of grazing.

Anyway . . . feeding and sleeping schedules would be a must with six. It would also help keep all of them from wanting to eat at once. But i would start that way with even one baby.

i would definitely nurse. I may not be able to provide everything they need but I can definitely provide some of it.

doubt I would co-sleep. unlike breastfeeding you can't go back and forth with sleeping very easy. A kid needs to know where they are sleeping and usually sleep best in their usual place. it seems kinder to everyone to have a steady regular slep situation. I mean how would you like if every couple days you were expected to sleep with someone new, switched to the other side of the bed and given a random new pillow. I would sleep like crap.

Cloth diaper. absolutely. pins and prefolds. I just don't think this is any harder. fold them and stack them neatly? not a chance. get a second (third) washer and dryer? oh yeah.

wearing . . how could you not







you only have so many hands.

I would have a definite baby area. somewhere safe and apart from the rest of the house.

maybe I am not as AP as I used to be. but having the schedule with Ava made things sane and helped me be more connected to her than I did the others. I guess it is a wash. but with six. .. . I think the first year is just going to be a blur no matter what.

Oh . . I would hire a house keper and a . . . .handler . . . for lack of a better term







I met a lady with twins once who had what she called a nanny but she was more of a runner. mama would sit down to nurse and the "nanny" would be there with her nursing pillow and hand the babies to mom. she would then bring her refreshments, the phone whatever while she nursed. She cooked the meals, ran the baths and got everything set up. did the shopping, stocked the changing table, and everything like that so that mom was free to focus on parenting and caring for the kids. it was sweet. she wasn't taking over child rearing jobs, she was just taking care of all the time sucking details and making sure everything was just a little bit easier.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I have two answers for this question:

If our situation remained as it is, I would be solely in charge of 10 children from 9am-8pm 5-6 days a week. We would not be able to afford a nanny, housekeeper, cook or any of the other things I could imagine we would want. I would try to breastfeed as much as possible to save money and of course would cloth diaper, both for health and for financial reasons, not to mention environmental ones. We would make our bedroom a wall to wall bed and co-sleep out of neccessity. I wore my two littlest ones in slings at the same time pretty much constantly when she was newborn so I suppose I could sling two babies at once, but not more than that. I would definitely need to ask my older two sons for more help around the house. I can't imagine scheduling anything with that many kids. I'm fairly certain my house would be utter chaos.

If our situation improved, or if money was no object:

I would hire a housekeeper and a cook and if we were independently wealthy and my DH could stay home constantly then I imagine it might actually not be too bad. We have two babies very close together and we've gotten used to caring for them both at the same time so I bet we could each handle three with a little practice. I would still breastfeed and cloth diaper as much as possible but hopefully my DH would have time to wash the diapers for me.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Good lord, breastfeeding and cosleeping with twins is hard enough. I cannot IMAGINE, I really can't. I just about lost my mind the first three months with my three; to do six is unthinkable.


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## KBecks (Jan 3, 2007)

I would pray a lot and ask for as much help as possible from family and friends.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Well a Canadian woman recently gave birth to natural - identical - quads, so I suppose we don't have to assume infertility treatments.









For any higher order multiples, assuming they came through healthy and well, I think I'd honestly put most of our stuff into storage except for a few soft things (both for baby proofing and so as not to have to take care of/clean it), turn the living room/dining room into a playroom, make one of the bedrooms into a big bed on the floor and nothing else, use the other one for cribs and a futon for anyone not looking to cosleep, and try to outsource as much as possible (cleaning, laundry, cooking). Instead of baby wearing I would "baby lying" by lying on the floor with as many babies up against me and on top of me as much as possible. I might have to ease up on the TV rules though.









I think I'd try to BF each baby at least once a day and formula-feed the rest of the time, until that broke down.

But most importantly I think I would try to convince my MIL to retire early or take a leave and come live with us, and if not, I would try to find someone to live-in that I thought would stick around for a few years, or find a nanny. Or both.

I think this is where attachment parenting would really have to open to attachment alloparenting and I would consider it a priority to try to find other adults to be around "in loco parentis" so that when a baby/toddler was crying and upset, there would always be some arms not too far away.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I love that show.

I like to think I would try to do things the way they do them, but I am not an organized person, so I doubt anything would go off as easily as it looks on TV.

I wouldn't co-sleep, but I don't really like co-sleeping anyway. I can barely sleep with my husband.

Other than that, I think Jon and Kate are doing a fabulous job. I sometimes feel a little bad for the older two girls, but other than that, I don't think I could improve on their system. I would struggle to compete.


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaFinch* 
Or Injectiable with just SEX - is that against religions, too? I thought it was just the handling of the sperm that was a no-no? I believe the McCaughey's had their IUI cancelled due to too many eggs and chose to have sex anyway, and they ended up with their 7 children.


Actually, I saw a program on it, and according to what they said their OB had done an ultrasound and only saw 4 follicles. So she OK'd them to have intercourse, figuring that maybe only half of them would take.

And, the ultrasound was taped....and they went over the tape afterwards and still only showed 4.


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## wannabemoms (Sep 17, 2007)

As someone who's going to be undergoing an IUI in the new year, I've done a bit of reading about the incidence of multiple births (which is slightly elevated, for TWINS, with IUI, and insignificantly so for higher order multiples.)

FWIW, here's a north american statistic about sextuplets, both naturally-occuring and as a result of FTs. Lots are natural.

From:http://www3.telus.net/tyee/multiples...ningrates.html

1989 there have been an average of 1.125 sets of sextuplets born each year in the USA.

32 out of 147 sets were reportedly spontaneously conceived, which is 21.77% of all sextuplet births (The number is high because of the high number of births I found of sextuplets in early centuries. Since fertility drugs, there have been only 6 sets that were reported as spontaneously conceived. (About 4% worth) (Dec 04)

Me, I've wrapped my head around the idea of having twins as a result of the IUI, and I'm fine with it. I've watched the show with the sextuplets, and, quite frankly, I'd freak. There is no way that we could provide a healthy, happy home for six children. I think the risks inherent to the babies and the mother carrying 6 are too high. I would selectively reduce to two or three.


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

I would be terrified, not because of the logistics in raising the babies, but the fact that statistically they would likely have serious medical issues to deal with (at least some of them).

I know a woman who had triplets, not natural, BUT she breastfed all of them completely.

And, she made it to 37 weeks!







: They were 7-8 pounds and she set all these records for her hospital for triplets, they were the largest!

What I thought was really wacked...I saw a show where they c-sectioned triplets at 33.5 weeks for no medical reason. Just a scheduled cesarean. I don't get this when I've known triplet moms to go 35-36 weeks. I mean, wouldn't you WANT them in there longer to avoid issues with prematurity?


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## MommaGreenBean (May 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I've got to say, as a twin mom...you're never the same with them as you are with singleton. And nursing is the easiest (at least barring latch problems and supply problems) part of the equation. Nursing the boys was no harder than nursing my girl.

However...just about everything else was. You simply do not have enough arms to be "the same" with your twins as you are with a singleton, particularly if you already have a singleton or two that needs you as well.

Oh, I understand that. I nannied for infant twins with an older brother, and while that isn't parenting, I had enough experience to know that it's different. I meant in the way of slinging/breastfeeding/co-sleeping







As in I thought I could swing parenting 2 similar to how I do my one, but 6 would be a whole different ballgame


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## Imogen (Jul 25, 2006)

I'd collapse from the shock









To be honest, I have absolutely no idea. As a Mum of an only, I can't imagine having even one more, let alone all those little ones.

I admire anyone who can commit to such a big family

Peace


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I really don't know how I would handle that many babies at once. I think there would have to be a schedule and a lot of organization to make sure everyone got attention and basic needs met. I think it would be easier to AP after the children are toddlers.

I would need help... maybe convince my parents to share a house with us to help out.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabemoms* 
There is no way that we could provide a healthy, happy home for six children. I think the risks inherent to the babies and the mother carrying 6 are too high. I would selectively reduce to two or three.

This is me, too.

I feel the same way about having a third: I just could not parent in the way that I would want and it would not be fair to inflict my issues on my kids in that way. So, with two marvelous, high (special)-needs kids....I am done.


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## maplesugar (May 24, 2005)

I watch my nephew who is about the same age as dd (20 months) and this is really hard. i just couldn't do it with more. if I really was in the situation, i guess I would just do what I could.

So in an imaginary scenario:

I would breastfeed. I would pump, perhaps hire a mom with extra milk to donate. If this was not enough, I would get a goat and feed the babies goat's milk as a supplimant. I really would not want to use formula. Of course dh would have to do the milking! I would probably want to wean around a year with that many.

I would most definately hire a helper or two.

I don't think I would try to cosleep. that would just be too much. i would try to gently get them to sleep on their own as early as possible.

i would have a baby room where they could be let loose and not get into ANYTHING.

I would cloth diaper untill they start solids. Try to potty traain asap.

I juat don't think it is natural to have that many babies, really. But at daycare centers the ratio is like 6:1 so daycare workers deal with this many kids on a regular basis.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

I'd move house... one bedroom and an office just wouldn't cut it anymore!









I'd definitely BF as much as possible, and move heaven and earth to get donated breastmilk to supplement. Luckily, having sextuplets is the kind of thing which gets you on the news, so I'm sure getting the word out wouldn't be difficult. I understand a lot of higher-number multiples get freebies too, which is nice!







I don't think there have ever been sextuplets in NZ before, so--fame!









I'd do as much cosleeping, babywearing etc as possible, but I'm sure a LOT of my ideals would fall by the wayside, and pretty darn quick! To be honest, it would be an incredibly, tremendously, mind-bogglingly hard thing to do... I'm pro-life so there's no way I'd abort some of my babies, but it would be absolutely bare survival mode for the next X years.

And I think my new house would have to be fenced!







And have an inordinate number of bathrooms... actually, designing a sextuplet-friendly house would be kinda fun. If I were rich, of course...


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

I wouldn't HAVE sextuplets, I'd reduce.

They're too likely to die, be sick, and then you can't parent them effectively.

Quote:

Having 6 is not even a possiblity for me since I do not believe in IVF.
This is just all my opinion. It is not meant to offend.
Not offensive, but amusing. You don't get sextuplets fomr IVF, you get sextuplets from IUI.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phatchristy* 

What I thought was really wacked...I saw a show where they c-sectioned triplets at 33.5 weeks for no medical reason. Just a scheduled cesarean. I don't get this when I've known triplet moms to go 35-36 weeks. I mean, wouldn't you WANT them in there longer to avoid issues with prematurity?

Apparently at that point they do better out than in. I assume space and other resources are justtoo stretched at that point? If they've stopped growing inside then I'd want them out, too.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

That.

I'm a pro-life Christian, but if it ever happened to me (unlikely) I'd have to selectively reduce...if anything because of MY health and the health of the babies.

With higher order multiples (anything more than twins, IMO) I guess I'd do the best I could. I'd try to bf...but have to give formula I know...co sleeping...possibly...probably not since they'd be premie and have all sorts of wires and monitors...







:







:







:


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
No, that is not accurate. The doctors only saw 3 or 4 eggs when they were monitoring her. They don't know how it ended up being 7 but they did NOT have their IUI cancelled or go against their doctors wishes.

I swore I remembered Bobbi McCaughey saying this on some interview. I guess not, though - it's been 10 years now, so I guess my memory is fuzzy.


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momoftworedheads* 
Having 6 is not even a possiblity for me since I do not believe in IVF.
This is just all my opinion. It is not meant to offend.

As someone else already said, almost all HOM are IUI or fertility drugs with sex, not IVF. Also I just wanted to say (just FYI - not to be snarky) that unless you are also infertile (and your kids are all adopted) it IS offensive to say you don't 'believe' in IVF. It would be like a healthy person telling a cancer patient they don't "BELIEVE" in chemo or radiation and that they should just accept their diagnosis.

I mean, how can you not 'believe' in it? Suffering women and men desperate to have the ONE thing that even crack addicts and child abusers can easily obtain. DO you know what it's like to walk into a TARGET (or a million other places) and see baby bucket isle after isle and pregnant bellies at every turn? It's like a nightmare. To have doctors out there willing to HELP you have a child ... how can you "NOT BELIEVE" in that? Maybe you could help me understand how someone could "not believe in IVF"?


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Oh it would be SO non ap, sadly. Probably hardly any breastfeeding, no cloth diapering, no co-sleeping, hardly any babywearing, probably CIO (on accident cause you can't hold 6 babies at once). We lost a lot of AP just by having triplets with a toddler.


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## llamalluv (Aug 24, 2007)

I would run away from home.








:

DH and I have talked about having a large family, but not all at once!







:


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## CaraNicole (Feb 28, 2007)

I would do the best I could, and never let myself 'second guess' if I was doing it 'right'


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## Blooming (Feb 16, 2006)

I could not be AP with that many kids. I am aped out with two. I would do it no other way with the family I have but plus 6, no way. For me it would be more important for me to be sane then AP.

Although I would still not spank, and would probably discipline in the same way I do now.


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## llamalluv (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaFinch* 
Also I just wanted to say (just FYI - not to be snarky) that unless you are also infertile (and your kids are all adopted) it IS offensive to say you don't 'believe' in IVF. It would be like a healthy person telling a cancer patient they don't "BELIEVE" in chemo or radiation and that they should just accept their diagnosis.



I'm not the person you are addressing, but I "don't believe in" hormonal birth control. But, I would never try to force my belief on anyone because it is a *personal* conviction that I have (and my husband shares it.)

IRL, when it comes up, I usually tell people that I can't take the pill because I have a family history of high blood pressure, clotting, and stroke (which is true, but not the only reason I won't use it). It is not all birth control we are opposed to - just hormonal (we use FAM and condoms, and my husband will be getting the snip when we are done having kids).

That being said, I also would not choose to use IVF, IUI, or any other "artificial" means of getting pregnant. Not because of anything the church I belong to states (it is actually silent on this), but because of my *personal* conviction that infertility is God telling me to go find motherless children to bring into my home.

I have many friends who did IVF/IUI (some successful, some not) and I would stand by them, because I know they came to their decisions to use the processes available to them after much prayer and contemplation. (But selfishly, in one case I am glad they were not successful, because then I would have never got to meet their little adopted munchkins who I ADORE!







)


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

Running away seems like a good option. *g* I told DH that I was running away if we had twins, never mind 6!!!

At my church, we've recently had a family with triplets, which is a lot easier than sextuplets, but they do have help from family. I would be recruiting family, friends, church members and still probably hire a nanny.

I doubt I could nurse all six, I'd be nursing basically all day. Pumping and supplementing would be the way to go. No cloth diapers, I'd need sleep, actually co-sleeping with us is pretty dangerous since DH is an extremely heavy sleeper and we don't have the room for a large bed. Wrapping would be cool should I have enough hands on deck, they can be rotated. I think I'd really be scared as to how I would manage and keep my son who is 2 feeling a part of the family. I think I'd be really sad to be honest because my time with him would be reduced so greatly. I'm already worried with the onset of another baby, but fortunately, we have a lot of parental help. With six, I'd probably go PPD.

As far as AP goes, they'd definitely have emotional needs met, but some of the more tangible things, would probably have to be put aside.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I would do my best to AP. I don't know what all I'd give up. Cosleeping for sure!









I would never reduce. God will never give me more than I can handle.


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaFinch* 
To have doctors out there willing to HELP you have a child ... how can you "NOT BELIEVE" in that? Maybe you could help me understand how someone could "not believe in IVF"?


I think what people mean to say is "I wouldn't choose that." Or "I don't think that's a good choice." I agree though, that the phrasing "I don't believe in <insert real thing>" is annoying.

"I don't believe in Santa Claus" doesn't bug me.

"I don't believe in bananas" is kind of dumb. Whether you like it or not, bananas exist. You might think they're disgusting, or you'd never eat one even if your life depended on it, you might be throwing all your money into scientific endeavors that will create the perfect bananacide and then you will rid the earth of what you perceive to be a pestilence...but sorry dude, bananas are here and now.

Now, how's that for an off-topic rant?


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## erica990 (Oct 30, 2006)

I remember telling my husband after my son was born that "If I had sextuplets, I would give five away." The Vanhouten six shared his same due date but born much, much earlier, and I remember following that family when they were in the news.

I feel like the practical and smart thing to do is to selectively reduce, but it would break my heart to do that.

I guess I'd just try and get all the help I could find, family, paid, or volunteer... Talk about no privacy!

I'd be awful with multiples. I'm not a schedule or organization person at all. I definitely like the idea of making some very, very safe rooms in the house.

Since I already have two children (well, almost two), I don't think fertility treatments are in my future--I personally don't think I'd want a third child that bad!


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

**


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llamalluv* 
... but because of my *personal* conviction that infertility is God telling me to go find motherless children to bring into my home.

And since you're not infertile, those poor motherless orphans can rot in foster care because god never sent you a personal message?


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## swebster (Dec 7, 2004)

and on that note...









I would join (or form) a commune that puts it's money and mouth in the same sentence with regards to "it takes a village". I'd find other nursing moms who always wanted to try tandem. I'd make a house full of beds and invite friends over to take turns co-sleeping. I'd round up great hurds of underappreciated grandparents and teach them how to wear a baby. I'd move to a warmer climate, let all six go naked, waterproof everything and become the queen of ec. I'd surround myself with mammas so that a baby would never go without.

...or run away.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

i would cry... omg i would cry...
i would never sleep again and im thinking i could potentially wear 4 at once... my oldest would be old enough to help some but i imagine my head would still explode...
i imagine we would all be eating cereal and i would be utilizing all of my resources.
i would use all parenting meetings as opportunities to pass around the litter








i will keep tequila in the kitchen
i will make friends with everyone.
id completely mattress a room for sleeping. i dont know about you guys but i cant imagine having the time for formula and cribs! im thinking i can sleep on my back with one latched on each side and one asleep on my chest. then id have two more on either side.... id probably still cling to some ec, but that was really easy for me with a newborn whereas diapers gave me heck.
id get one of these things i saw once thats a babybath/diaper changing station thing that goes over your sink so you can drain it in the sink and it comes with a spray attachment. i could potty two at once! and ill more than likely get alot of poop and pee on me too...
id have to get a bus and a farm... and a herding dog...
i agree once theyre toddlers id be very popular on youtube!
hey at least the local ap group would bring me alot of meals








silver lining people!


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

oh yes and id be finding some moms who are cool nursing other peoples kids!


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr* 
Again, you do NOT implant (IVF) six embryos, IVF does not lead to high numbers. If your going to go down that road, questioning fertility treatments, please try to get things straight.

Sorry if I appear bitchy but we are starting fertility treatments and you can not imagine the number of people that tell me, just don't implant 6 babies. Thats not how it works...

Actually, one of my best friend's is on her second IVF pregnancy and her doctor was very, very specific about how many zygotes she wanted implanted so I'm not quite sure what you're talking about.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

If I somehow managed to conceive sextuplets, I would try to be as loving and kind to all of them as I could. I would not be AP in the conventional sense when they were babies. I would avoid CIO, but still try for a schedule. I would nurse as often as I could, whichever babies would do it and bottlefeed the ones who couldn't. I would wear all of them at different times.

I would have a mother's helper for every day of the week and have dh take all three months of his FMLA leave from work. I'd beg my mil to move in with us or at least have her come stay for days at a time.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Honestly? I would probably abort. My body couldn't handle carrying 6 babies. Possible health risks to myself isn't worth it to me. In addition to the fact that I can't financially support 8 kids.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

disclaimer: I've only read the OP, not the 77 replies since then.

If I conceived sextuplets, quintuplets, or quadruplets, I would have selective reduction. I simply would NOT continue a pg with 6 babies. I would reduce to 1 or 2 babies- the number would depend on medical factors and lots of talking with my drs.

I have 2 arms and 2 breasts so could hold and nurse 2 babies at once, have one on either side of me in bed, etc. I did this with my older 2 girls, born only 16m apart. Babywearing meant pushing the double stroller with the sling in the diaper bag, and wearing whichever baby needed it the most at the time.

I don't know what I would do if I conceived triplets. Whether or not I reduced the pg would depend on my health and their health. If I birthed 3, I'd provide them with as much breastmilk as possible, but wouldn't be too upset if I needed to supplement with formula. I'd probably need to make a lot of compromises in terms of "green living" and I'd probably have to be more structured in terms of daily schedules than I was with one newborn at a time.


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## ZanZansMommy (Nov 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elowyn* 
Just for the record, it's not IVF that produces sextuplets. IVF transfers back 2-3 embryos the vast majority of the time (occasionally four in an "older" woman with many failures.) Never six

Not True. This so depends on where you have your IVF done, how old you are, what your embryos look like & what cycle # you are on. An RE working with someone on cycle #1 would probably only transfer 2, but of course it depends on the persons age & also what the embryos look like.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Starr* 
Again, you do NOT implant (IVF) six embryos, IVF does not lead to high numbers. If your going to go down that road, questioning fertility treatments, please try to get things straight.

Sorry if I appear bitchy but we are starting fertility treatments and you can not imagine the number of people that tell me, just don't implant 6 babies. Thats not how it works...

Well IVF implants nothing. The RE *transfers* the embryos into your uterus & only the embryo can implant itself. If RE's could implant them, then everyone undergoing IVF would technically be pregnant. Doesn't happen that way. And some of us after yrs of IF have had 6-8 embryos transferred to improve our chances of having even one baby. In my last cycle (which happened to be my 5th & I was 34 at the time) the RE transferred 6 embryos. I ended up PG with a singleton. I did let my RE know that selective reduction was not something I'd shy away from should I end up pg with more than 3. Luckily I didn't have to make that decision. But it was my decision & my RE supported me & we transferred 6 embryos.


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## Sonnenwende (Sep 9, 2006)

Have to also agree with the people who would selectively reduce. No thanks.


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## Mama2J (Oct 22, 2007)

Wow interesting thing to think about! Makes me tired, I'm busy enough now!

Well, this is completely hypothetical for me, as I don't ever see it happening. As many of the others have said, I would practice AP the best I could.

I like the co-sleeping idea of putting them 3 to a crib, and when one wakes bring that one into bed to nurse. I also like the idea of using two beds together so they could all co-sleep with me, but I don't realistically think they would all sleep at the same time and would be constantly waking each other up.

For breastfeeding, I would bf as much as I could, get donated breastmilk if possible, and supplement with formula. I like routines/schedules now, so I would probably do that as they got older, but I know it's really not possible when they are tiny.

I would have a couple of slings, and wear one at a time when we go out, and have the rest in a stroller. If another adult was with me, we could wear two.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Quote:

As someone else already said, almost all HOM are IUI or fertility drugs with sex, not IVF. Also I just wanted to say (just FYI - not to be snarky) that unless you are also infertile (and your kids are all adopted) it IS offensive to say you don't 'believe' in IVF. It would be like a healthy person telling a cancer patient they don't "BELIEVE" in chemo or radiation and that they should just accept their diagnosis.

I mean, how can you not 'believe' in it? Suffering women and men desperate to have the ONE thing that even crack addicts and child abusers can easily obtain. DO you know what it's like to walk into a TARGET (or a million other places) and see baby bucket isle after isle and pregnant bellies at every turn? It's like a nightmare. To have doctors out there willing to HELP you have a child ... how can you "NOT BELIEVE" in that? Maybe you could help me understand how someone could "not believe in IVF"?
JavaFinch: I'm sorry, but this is not a good argument. It implies, rather offensively, that people who are anti-IVF are only anti-IVF because they can 'afford to be'--with the implication that if the issue affected them personally, they'd change their minds. This is simply not true--most people are anti-IVF for moral/ethical reasons, which are independent of personal circumstance.

By using the logic of your argument, one could argue that people shouldn't be 'anti'-anything until they'd been in the position of wanting/needing to do that thing. Are you prepared to say 'You can't possibly condemn stealing until you've been starving'? Okay, how about 'You can't condemn rapists until you know just how much they want to rape'? Or 'You've never really, really wanted to murder someone, so you shouldn't judge murderers'? Or 'You can't possibly be anti-circ, you haven't had a boy yet and had to deal with the comments'.

It is, in fact, offensive to assume that other posters are morally guided by what is convenient to them. There are many infertile couples who experience intense longing for their own children, yet refuse to go the IVF route because of personal beliefs.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
JavaFinch: I'm sorry, but this is not a good argument. It implies, rather offensively, that people who are anti-IVF are only anti-IVF because they can 'afford to be'--with the implication that if the issue affected them personally, they'd change their minds. This is simply not true--most people are anti-IVF for moral/ethical reasons, which are independent of personal circumstance.

By using the logic of your argument, one could argue that people shouldn't be 'anti'-anything until they'd been in the position of wanting/needing to do that thing. Are you prepared to say 'You can't possibly condemn stealing until you've been starving'? Okay, how about 'You can't condemn rapists until you know just how much they want to rape'? Or 'You've never really, really wanted to murder someone, so you shouldn't judge murderers'? Or 'You can't possibly be anti-circ, you haven't had a boy yet and had to deal with the comments'.

It is, in fact, offensive to assume that other posters are morally guided by what is convenient to them. There are many infertile couples who experience intense longing for their own children, yet refuse to go the IVF route because of personal beliefs.


I agree. I have gotten similar comments for years about an issue I'm passionate about, and it really irks me. I think you put it into words very well -- some things are ethical issues and many (hopefully most) people would not compromise their beliefs out of convenience.


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## Brigianna (Mar 13, 2006)

Hire a few full-time nannies. I couldn't do 6 by myself or with just dh.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ZanZansMommy* 
Well IVF implants nothing. The RE *transfers* the embryos into your uterus & only the embryo can implant itself. If RE's could implant them, then everyone undergoing IVF would technically be pregnant.

I wish I knew where this RE the media keeps referring to who can implant embryos is, I'd have been there in a shot. Can you imagine being able to control implantation?

But I have to second the person you were responding to - transferring six is pretty much unheard of by 99% of RE with 99% of patients. It's also illegal in most of the world.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
JavaFinch: I'm sorry, but this is not a good argument. It implies, rather offensively, that people who are anti-IVF are only anti-IVF because they can 'afford to be'--with the implication that if the issue affected them personally, they'd change their minds. This is simply not true--most people are anti-IVF for moral/ethical reasons, which are independent of personal circumstance.

By using the logic of your argument, one could argue that people shouldn't be 'anti'-anything until they'd been in the position of wanting/needing to do that thing. Are you prepared to say 'You can't possibly condemn stealing until you've been starving'? Okay, how about 'You can't condemn rapists until you know just how much they want to rape'? Or 'You've never really, really wanted to murder someone, so you shouldn't judge murderers'? Or 'You can't possibly be anti-circ, you haven't had a boy yet and had to deal with the comments'.

It is, in fact, offensive to assume that other posters are morally guided by what is convenient to them. There are many infertile couples who experience intense longing for their own children, yet refuse to go the IVF route because of personal beliefs.

Actually, Smokering, most people who say they'll never do IVF say that because they think it reeks of desperation, or they don't want the drugs, or they think you need to create more than one embryo, or destroy embryos etc, etc. I'd say a good 50% of people on IVF message boards were once sure that IVF wasn't for them.


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## kaylee18 (Dec 25, 2005)

There seems to be a lack of awareness here of the danger of selective reduction. Selective reduction does not increase the chance of survival or health for the remaining babies, because it increases the chance of premature labor and subsequent stillbirth or prematurity, as well as placental abruption and intrauterine infection, for the remaining babies. It's not this altruistic, gotta-save-the-ones-we-can procedure.

It's something that fertility specialists have a conflict of interest about, because they are counted as failing if their patients give birth to higher-order multiples and succeeding if their patients have singletons or twins. Their career will suffer if their "success rate" goes down. Which means they literally get paid more for every patient that has a selective reduction.

Conversely, there seems to be a lack of awareness here of the advances that have been made in caring for HOM gestations so that the children end up healthy. HOMs have a higher risk of cerebral palsy, but no higher than the CP risk of survivors of selective reduction. Excellent nutrition, cerclage, prevention of premature labor, and bedrest have dramatically increased these babies' chances of being born uninjured.

And sextuplets are not "safer out than in" at 33 weeks. Rather, for some there comes a point after 30 weeks where the mother is just done, or where premature labor cannot be stopped. At this point the chance of survival for all the babies is high, so the section is performed. For those who are able to gestate longer, the babies' chances do improve the closer they get to 40 weeks inside.

The severe risks that have been associated with HOMs in the past were mainly the risks of prematurity. Prevent the prematurity, and you prevent the injury, just as with a singleton. There is no injury caused by "squeezing as the uterus expands," for heaven's sake.

Ditto to the previous posters who stated that IVF involves transfer, and implantation occurs afterwards if the patient is lucky. Also that HOMs are usually the result of fertility treatments _other than_ IVF.


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Sorry to do this again - deleting post. I just need to leave this thread - it's too upsetting to me.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

so im thinking... you could totally have sextuplets vaginally right?
what are the birth options there?
at what week would out of hospital birth be an option?

gee i guess i would be that crazy woman on that website who fought to ubac her sextuplets









oh and.... where would you buy your clothes? would a 5'3 woman even be able to walk around at the end?


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

oh and id have a placenta dinner party because i cant eat that much placenta...


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
so im thinking... you could totally have sextuplets vaginally right?

I wouldn't....I'd be worried about the placenta separating before the other babies were done using it. Or cord accidents with all those cords.

Then again-like I said, I wouldn't have sextuplets.


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## Softmama (Jun 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
oh and.... where would you buy your clothes? would a 5'3 woman even be able to walk around at the end?

I'm thinking by the end I would just go nude








probably not getting out much anyway!


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## Needle in the Hay (Sep 16, 2006)

I don't know what I would do if I was expecting that many! Since I'm not morally opposed to reduction I am sure I would consider that. I'm not sure we could handle more than 2 or 3. I would never think people should do that though if they prefer to have them all.

I really can't believe how cruel and insensitive people are about infertility.







: Isn't it enough that you can conceive and carry babies? Do you really need to post your opinions that are sure to hurt others who are already in a lot of pain about this?







: Oh and thanks for comparing undergoing fertility treatments to raping and murdering.







:


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe* 
Actually, Smokering, most people who say they'll never do IVF say that because they think it reeks of desperation, or they don't want the drugs, or they think you need to create more than one embryo, or destroy embryos etc, etc. I'd say a good 50% of people on IVF message boards were once sure that IVF wasn't for them.

Okay, but those are the people on the message boards right?

I totally am fine with people choosing IVF, just wanted to put that out there at the start. I'll even pay for it via my tax dollars. I'm not morally opposed to SR for others either.

But we were a couple that decided not to do IVF during 7+ years of infertility struggles. It wasn't because fear of desperation, or not wanting the drugs, or being confused about IVF; we were very well educated about it and have a RE in the family.

We decided not to pursue ART at all. We perceived that there were other ways of building a family if we wanted to pursue them. I think I can best express it as FOR US we saw it as a spiritual call to open our lives in other ways; in our case at that time, to take on some responsibility for extended family members who needed that love.

That was intensely personal, but I do object to having my reasons characterized in the way you did above.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Quote:

I really can't believe how cruel and insensitive people are about infertility. Isn't it enough that you can conceive and carry babies? Do you really need to post your opinions that are sure to hurt others who are already in a lot of pain about this? Oh and thanks for comparing undergoing fertility treatments to raping and murdering.
Uh... I think you need to read my post again, as you are clearly missing the point. My intention is not to wound, but simply to point out that an argument given in this thread was logically flawed. Just because an issue is emotional does not mean that sloppy thinking which leads to offensive conclusions is OK. And as far as 'comparing undergoing fertility treatments to raping and murdering', again--you need to reread my post. Please don't mischaracterise what I wrote.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Smokering, I wasn't saying anything about your specific reasons, but the reasons and concerns that people have who reach the IVF point and have questions. I could morally never participate in adoption, and I don't find your objections to IVF upsetting, because I'm certain of the morality of it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
so im thinking... you could totally have sextuplets vaginally right?
what are the birth options there?
at what week would out of hospital birth be an option?

gee i guess i would be that crazy woman on that website who fought to ubac her sextuplets









oh and.... where would you buy your clothes? would a 5'3 woman even be able to walk around at the end?


No way you'd be allowed to go vaginal. It's not common for docs to be OK with triplets vaginally (and even then everything needs to be perfect).


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
Uh... I think you need to read my post again, as you are clearly missing the point. My intention is not to wound, but simply to point out that an argument given in this thread was logically flawed. Just because an issue is emotional does not mean that sloppy thinking which leads to offensive conclusions is OK. And as far as 'comparing undergoing fertility treatments to raping and murdering', again--you need to reread my post. Please don't mischaracterise what I wrote.

Oh, BTW, you clearly missed my point, too. I don't like fertile people who have birthed their own children coming down on IVF NOT because I think they would change their mind if in the situation (which, BTW, I'm sure MANY would once they realize a lot of assumptions they had about it were wrong - but of course some wouldn't) - but just that it's MEAN/CRUEL/HEARTLESS for them to even feel the need to entertain such opinions about something that, unlike all the examples you listed (theft, murder, mutilation and rape) HAS NO VICTIM. Who is the victim in IVF?

If you think in IVF embryos are just murdered as a matter of course, you're wrong. I'm not saying in some cases people don't have frozen embryos that get destroyed or 'left-over' embryos that are destroyed instead of being frozen. I can see being opposed to that. That doesn't HAVE to happen, though (and it sure never happened to me). You can freeze your eggs and only use as many as you would transfer. Or only fertilize the eggs you want and toss the rest.

I have lots of opinions, and some I haven't 'been in the position', but like the examples you listed, most of (or all) the things I feel are WRONG are wrong because someone gets hurt. I can't really think of any opinions I have that I would go around saying "I don't believe in" or "I feel strongly that...." that don't HARM others.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

Who is the victim in IVF?
Well, plenty of people here have said that they would abort if they were pregnant with higher order multiples. Many would say that those children are the victims.


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

Well, I highly doubt that I would find myself in that situation, but who can say for sure. Thankfully I've never had to make that kind of decision. But... if I had that many kids I would build a playground in my yard and invite all the neighbourhood kids over to play so that they would have opportunities to socialize without having to schlep everybody to the playground every day. Then I would give all the parents a cup of coffee and a basket of laundry to fold!


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## JavaFinch (May 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Well, plenty of people here have said that they would abort if they were pregnant with higher order multiples. Many would say that those children are the victims.

You could transfer one embryo - fertilize just one egg.

I understand some of the arguments against destruction of embryos or selective reduction - but this is NOT the norm and even if it were, one could choose to do THEIR particular IVF without these things. So in that case, then where is the victim?

Saying you're 'against' IVF because *some* people do things you consider is unethical is like saying you're against driving because *some* people speed and drive wrecklessly or drunk.


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

One thing that always bugs me about these threads. The question was _*"what would you do if you had sextuplets?"*_
_Not_, would you keep the sextuplets or would you reduce? _Not_, would you do IVF or IUI?
The question was what would you do if you *DID* have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.

I think the IVF/infertility bashing on this thread is just awful, whether or not it was intended.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn* 
One thing that always bugs me about these threads. The question was _*"what would you do if you had sextuplets?"*_
_Not_, would you keep the sextuplets or would you reduce? _Not_, would you do IVF or IUI?
The question was what would you do if you *DID* have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.

I think the IVF/infertility bashing on this thread is just awful, whether or not it was intended.


Ok, for arguments sake I had them, I would adopt them out to separate families that could take care of them.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe* 
No way you'd be allowed to go vaginal. It's not common for docs to be OK with triplets vaginally (and even then everything needs to be perfect).

allowed? *scoff*


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## kaylee18 (Dec 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
allowed? *scoff*

My sentiments exactly! Thank you poxy!

Okay, to answer the question at hand:

I would be over the moon happy. You have no idea.








DH would probably be shocked speechless for about a week, and Not Happy after that, but he'd come round eventually.

Pregnancy: I would eat, eat, eat all the time. And rest. And take my vitamins. And try to find an OB/GYN who would continue having me as a patient knowing I would birth vaginally, even if any of the babies were breech or came early. No way would I consent to routine surgery. Worst coming to worst, and not having a care provider willing to take me on, I'd exercise my rights under EMTALA and birth vaginally anyway, with whatever care provider happened to be in the hospital at the time. I expect I would give birth in a hospital, only because I think it's pretty much a given that labor would commence unstoppably before 36 weeks. If by some miracle I did get past that point, I would birth at home. The Dionne sisters (spontaneous identical quintuplets) survived at home, with no birth injuries. I'd probably not find out that there were so many until fairly well along in the pregnancy due to UP (my complete molar pregnancy wasn't diagnosed until 17.5 weeks for that reason, after weeks of abnormal size for dates - no regrets here, btw). After which, I would seek medical assistance, possibly cerclage, maybe pelvic elevation on one of those special tilt beds. I'd also get my breastfeeding support arsenal in line. Steel-cut oats, fenugreek, blessed thistle, alfalfa, liquid chlorophyll, Medela Classic, several Lact-Aid assemblies, shotglass for cup feeding, finger feeder, NO ARTIFICIAL NIPPLES, and as much frozen donor milk as possible from MilkShare or wherever else I could get it. With the exception of the extra Lact-Aids, these are measures I'm taking anyway







, since I'm determined to do everything I can to get breastfeeding going right. Oh, and with a singleton, I'd have the dom on hand but not take it unless we were having trouble. With multiples, I'd start taking it immediately after their birth and consider taking Reglan as well.

Birth: The usual plans would apply, minus the UC if the birth was premature, and minus the lotus birth if the hospital were involved. No immediate cord clamping: 5 minutes minimum, until cessation of pulsing if logistically feasible with more babies emerging. Resuscitation (if necessary) at the delivery table with cord intact. No Pit, no Cytotec, no other drugs including IV antibiotics, no routine IV, no routine heplock, no withholding fluids or food, no vacuum, no forceps, no episiotomy, no "delivery traction," no routine nuchal cord manipulation, no bright lights or shouting, no routine suctioning, no eye goop, no hep B shot, no vitamin K, and no circumcision or retraction. If at hospital, one DH plus 5 close friends/family to accompany each baby everywhere, assuming such transfer were medically needed. If NICU stays were needed... - that would be truly awful. We would try to have all the babies accompanied as much as possible and get them breastmilk and kangaroo care as much as possible.

Postpartum:










































- with help from as many friends as possible. I would also hire at least 1 or 2 helpers (preferably wetnurses, but they are hard to find; more likely teenagers), in addition to DH, to carry the babies and help with household stuff. I would wear and nurse 2 at a time, as much as possible. Maybe DH could figure out how to wear 3 (1 in mei tai on back, 2 in wrap on front?) I would have DH or the helpers log all feedings and weigh the babies regularly to make sure they were all getting fed enough. I would use as much donated breastmilk as we got, but unless we got a prescription for banked milk and insurance covered the cost, I would still expect to have to supplement with formula (though not artificial nipples. hate hate hate artificial nipples. lact-aid, sns, cup, syringe, spoon, dropper, in that order.). DH would still be the SAHD, I'd still go back to full-time WOHM after 3 months' leave; the upside is that the household income can support a full-time hired teen helper or two. I'd pump or direct-feed babies at my 3 scheduled breaks, and get 2 Classics so I didn't have to tote a 16lb object back and forth to work (which is my current plan














.

I would EC (and show the helpers how to EC) as much as it reduced our work in changing and washing diapers, rather than adding to it. As constant as EC would be with 6, I would expect it to way outshine changing diapers on six four-year-olds. I would mount a warm-water dish sprayer next to the toilet to rinse small bums directly into it. I would still use cloth diapers, probably AI2s. I would use a diaper service if there were one anywhere near me (there isn't). I would probably get 6 or so clothes processors (machines that wash and then dry with no transfer. We have one at the moment). I would put them next to the toilet so I could empty the poo into the toilet and put the diapers right into the clothes processor. No reason to keep a pail when you're generating laundry loads that fast. I probably would not dress the children in clothes, only their diapers, so no baby clothes to wash, except for special occasions. It's always warm here. And we won't have any carpets, either.

I would get a really big dishwasher to sanitize pump parts and take care of our dishes. I would babyproof a whole floor of the house so the babies wouldn't need to be penned or strapped into contraptions to be safe. I would sell our cars and get a (used) van.

I can't see feeding or putting the babies down for naps on a schedule. Schedules tend to add complexity to my life, not reduce it. I'd have enough to do caring for 6 babies without keeping after a schedule too. Records, yes, so I could keep track of who hasn't eaten in a while. Schedules, no.

I'd do a room in wall-to-wall mattress with waterproofing.







Or I might get 3 cosleepers to hold 2 each, or try out Amby beds. (I was considering all those options for a singleton, too.) We'd definitely family bed once they got to be toddlers (DH and I sleep like logs), but during infancy I'd first try other ways of helping them sleep without CIO, since I'd be concerned about keeping from overlying 6 infants at once. They would still definitely not sleep in a separate room.

Let's see.. what else? We'd still unschool. We'd still get lots of outdoor play equipment and cool indoor toys and invite neighbor kids to play. We already eat a lot of prepared (though whole) food from Costco and the health food store, spending 30 minutes or less on food prep each day, so I don't see that changing. We'd still do some American Sign Language in addition to speech, and read to our babies, and try to keep junk food and commercials out of their lives. We don't have a TV, and would not get one. There is no way I would ever allow non-gentle discipline, or CIO to sleep.

I guess the main things that would be different from one baby would be more equipment; planning to let babies hang out on the floor with toys when they're happy with that instead of constantly in arms; asking friends and family for much more daily help; hiring help; and a greatly increased level of constant activity caring for the babies. A much more drastic change would be if one or more of the babies had special needs. But I'm not covering that here. It's plenty long enough already.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

yeah i was thinking i would finally get to eat placenta because i dont think id attempt lotus birth with six...

maybe i would... i am pretty crazy...


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

If I _had_ sextuplets, I would give some of them up for adoption. I wouldn't have sextuplets though so it doesn't really matter.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

if I had them, I would do whatever worked for our familys needs, even if that ment formula feeding, cribs and schedules. I would do it in a heartbeat if my singleton child needed it, so with 6, I would definatly do it.


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn* 
The question was what would you do if you *DID* have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.

Well, really the question is irrelevent most likely to all of us, since NONE of us will ever have sextuplets and therefore cannot say what we would or would not do with any degree of certainty.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CookieMonsterMommy* 
Well, really the question is irrelevent most likely to all of us, since NONE of us will ever have sextuplets and therefore cannot say what we would or would not do with any degree of certainty.









: I would be scheduling a reduction for ASAP. I just don't have adequate family help to care for sextuplets. In fact, right now I don't have the bandwidth to deal with one more child sadly.


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## TekknixMom (Nov 5, 2007)

Well, to just put a realistic spin on it : Generally speaking people who have sextuplets make headlines and get LOTS of help and free things from people and companies. So when it comes to things like affording clothes, although it would still be expensive, you would have SOME help.
Now...I would say that I would probably breastfeed as many of them as I could handle, and then look for milk donations for the rest. If any weren't thriving on BM alone, I would supplement with formula.

I would cosleep, even if it meant (if my room was big enough) putting two king sized beds side by side. There is something you can buy to put two beds together (my friend hooked two twins together to make a bigger bed) so there would be no risk of a child falling through the crack at all. I would sleep in the middle and cover the crack "just in case", I wouldn't want any risk of them going in and not being to get out and suffocating.

I would be sure that when I did get media attention (which is bound to happen) that I mentioned how I'm AP. First because it would get out the concept and maybe make others look into it. And also because those who knew what it entailed would probably send companies my way that had AP philosophies behind them.

I can honestly say I'm not sure if I would cloth diaper or not. It was tough even with Jacob, I can't even imagine doing it with two much less six.

I would sling them but obviously not all at once.

I know that much. But in the end who really knows WHAT they would do?


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JavaFinch* 
As someone else already said, almost all HOM are IUI or fertility drugs with sex, not IVF. Also I just wanted to say (just FYI - not to be snarky) that unless you are also infertile (and your kids are all adopted) it IS offensive to say you don't 'believe' in IVF. It would be like a healthy person telling a cancer patient they don't "BELIEVE" in chemo or radiation and that they should just accept their diagnosis.

I mean, how can you not 'believe' in it? Suffering women and men desperate to have the ONE thing that even crack addicts and child abusers can easily obtain. DO you know what it's like to walk into a TARGET (or a million other places) and see baby bucket isle after isle and pregnant bellies at every turn? It's like a nightmare. To have doctors out there willing to HELP you have a child ... how can you "NOT BELIEVE" in that? Maybe you could help me understand how someone could "not believe in IVF"?


Ok, I'll clarify, it is against my religious beliefs to do IVF so I wouldn't do it. I do have infertility issues and I have had two losses in 2 years. It has been rough, however, I cannot do IVF so I should have said that differently. I do not want to offend anyone, there are people that choose IVF and that is fine with me. It is just that in my personal beliefs, I cannot do it. That's whay I said it the way I did.

Take care,


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## sugarski (Oct 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llamalluv* 
I'm not the person you are addressing, but I "don't believe in" hormonal birth control. But, I would never try to force my belief on anyone because it is a *personal* conviction that I have (and my husband shares it.)


FRISSY!!!!! Hi!

(sorry to hijack thread, I know her from another board)


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## sugarski (Oct 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe* 
I could morally never participate in adoption.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they are morally opposed to adoption. Could you explain why?


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## hottmama (Dec 27, 2004)

I would selectively reduce to 0-3, if I had a 4+ fetus pregnancy, which apparently do occur naturally.
I looked it up and the highest # human pregnancy ever was ELEVEN fetuses!







:
I LOL'd at the image of a mama on roller skates being pulled by six harnessed toddlers, though.


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## macca (Jan 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sonnenwende* 
Have to also agree with the people who would selectively reduce. No thanks.









:


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sugarski* 
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they are morally opposed to adoption. Could you explain why?

I'm not the person whose comment you replied to, but I am opposed to adoption. I don't feel that it's ethically handled, for one thing -- it's the commodification of children. Infant adoption in the United States is entirely corrupt, coercive tactics are used to procure babies for waiting adopters, and the effect on children (and surrendering parents) is very, very negative.

Here's an article that I wrote on the subject: The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens

I've been involved in the anti-adoption movement for ten years now, I literally wrote a book on the subject, and I'm happy to answer any questions you have (though it's probably better to do it via PM since it's OT for this thread).


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Well, plenty of people here have said that they would abort if they were pregnant with higher order multiples. Many would say that those children are the victims.

Which is why most of the world does its darndest to NOT get anyone pregnant with six at a time.

Quote:

I don't think I've ever heard anyone say they are morally opposed to adoption. Could you explain why?
Oh, that would be loooong and way OT. Suffice to say I used to be as gung ho as anyone about it, until I started to read adoption blogs - birth mother, adoptive parent and adopted children blogs. It is not the fairy story I'd been led to believe all my life. It could be done ethically, and I'm sure many are, but the way the system is, you'd have to fight hard to do it that way. And to reform the system starts with reforming the society - a job that's too big for me to do. And, in the heirachy of harm, own gamete IVF and donor egg IVF are easier to do well, and we were always one step from the backup plans when ttc, so I never had to figure out exactly how to organise an ethical adoption.

Sorry, I'd search through some of the blogs I read for posts explaining it better, but it's Saturday afternoon, so I have to go and do family stuff.


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn* 
One thing that always bugs me about these threads. The question was _*"what would you do if you had sextuplets?"*_
_Not_, would you keep the sextuplets or would you reduce? _Not_, would you do IVF or IUI?
The question was what would you do if you *DID* have them. I've just never understood why the actual question at hand can't be answered. If you'd reduce, then obviously you wouldn't HAVE them, thus the question is irrelevent.

I think the IVF/infertility bashing on this thread is just awful, whether or not it was intended.









:
THANK YOU!!!!!! I know!!!!!! I thought it was going to be a fun thread about *HOW* would you try to care for that many kids at once. My goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Didn't the OP even say something about what kinds of AP things would you do or not be able to do?


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wonderwahine* 
if I had them, I would do whatever worked for our familys needs, even if that ment formula feeding, cribs and schedules. I would do it in a heartbeat if my singleton child needed it, so with 6, I would definatly do it.

Yep. I believe it's virtually impossible to plan how I would parent sextuplets, I would do anything that allowed me to survive with sextuplets. Not only are there 6 babies to take care of but a strong possibility of health issues with some because of prematurity, I have no qualms about doing almost anything that would allow us to get through each day. I had one very ill baby for months, your best laid plans get thrown out the window, and you go into survival mode, anything that gets us through this minute, hour, day... It was the worst time of my life, and months later I am still picking up the pieces of my life. I know too much now to ever say what I would do, because you truly have no idea what you will do when it is reality.


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

I'll answer the ACTUAL question!









I would breastfeed as much as possible. I would probably have a rotation, making sure they each got the same amount of breastmilk. I would supplement with formula (hopefully organic). I would probably do some form of co-sleeping - I can't imagine sleeping with six infants and trying to nurse them all on demand thoughout the night. The same with slinging them - all on some sort of rotating schedule.

I would definitely schedule naps and meals. I cannot imagine the chaos of sporadic feeding and sleeping with that many LOs!







We would eat as much organic food as our budget allowed.

If we had an extra washer and dryer for diapers I would try to cloth diaper, but the thought of the amount of laundry makes my head spin!

I would simply do the best I could and I have to admit that I would probably choose convenience if it meant saving my sanity!


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

After checking out costs online, I'd get an au pair. About the same cost as a nanny, but they live with you (and are cheaper than a live-in nanny). We already have a big enough house, thank goodness. And like homeschoolmama, I'd get another washer and dryer (hopefully sponsored by some company).

And I would sure as heck pimp us out to any company willing to help with the cost of feeding that many kids.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
And I would sure as heck pimp us out to any company willing to help with the cost of feeding that many kids.









corprate sponsership and tv apperances and dontations can be your freind







whatever it takes to survive! if they wanna offer me the stuff or money, why not?


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
And I would sure as heck pimp us out to any company willing to help with the cost of feeding that many kids.
















:


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## bleukit (Feb 5, 2007)

Having twins and knowing the limitations I had there, basically whatever it took to keep us all happy and healthy.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
And I would sure as heck pimp us out to any company willing to help with the cost of feeding that many kids.

And there's the best idea yet!


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## MelKnee (Dec 5, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
And if you got one of those kid harness things (like they sell in school catalogs), and a pair of roller skates, you'd never have to walk uphill again!









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
oh and id have a placenta dinner party because i cant eat that much placenta...


















If I had sextuplets I would have to be woken from my catatonic state. My mind would just shut down.

I would make sure that all of them got _some_ bm, but I know I couldn't ebf.
I would have them sleep together in my room so I could get to them quickly.
I would hold them as much as possible, rotating them through a sling.
I would have to hire help, at least with cooking and cleaning.
I would cloth diaper because I like it and the thought of the mountain of disposibles makes me cry.
I would schedule meals when they were older.

I think I would be numb until they were potty trained and sleeping through the night. I can't even imagine how difficult HOM are. I have two that are 5 yrs apart and I still have to just close my eyes, hold my breath and hang on for the ride a lot.







:


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## Sylith (Apr 15, 2002)

If I had sextuplets I think I would run away from home. I wish I were kidding, but I'm not, really. I can't even imagine being a remotely sane or contented parent to six babies at once.


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## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

I'd do what I did with one -- follow his cues as much as possible, trust in my instinct, prioritize attachment, and suffer from sleeplessness.

What exactly would that look like? I don't know. Would I attempt to get breastmilk into all of them or save it for the sickest? Would I wear them alternatively to be "fair" or choose who was the neediest? Until I know the specific six children, their health needs and the personalities I can't answer that question.

One thing I know I'd do is invite others to help, whether through donations, or by coming over to hold little ones.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat* 
so im thinking... you could totally have sextuplets vaginally right?
what are the birth options there?
at what week would out of hospital birth be an option?

gee i guess i would be that crazy woman on that website who fought to ubac her sextuplets









oh and.... where would you buy your clothes? would a 5'3 woman even be able to walk around at the end?

i would definitely have a section if i had 4 or more babies!!!! and i am of the opinion that low/moderate risk women should/can deliver OOH ( i had both mine at home) but i would be camping out at the hospy if i had sextuplets. however, if they were born healthy and fine i would refuse any and all interventions and i would not let them out of my sight until i got home.

once we were home. . .. . i dont know what i would do. i would probably "adopt" 4 of them out (in pairs) to my mom, sisters, SIL and/or MIL.

i would certainly not try to do it alone. i dont think that would be fair to the kids. babies _*need*_ individual care. there is no way me and dp could provide that to 6 kids, plus the 2 we already have.

if i couldnt stand (emotionally) to give them to family members, i would need live in help, preferable 2 or more dedicated adults. i would nurse of course, but the reality is they would all be getting at least half formula, if not more.


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## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaylee18* 
And try to find an OB/GYN who would continue having me as a patient knowing I would birth vaginally, even if any of the babies were breech or came early. No way would I consent to routine surgery. Worst coming to worst, and not having a care provider willing to take me on, I'd exercise my rights under EMTALA and birth vaginally anyway, with whatever care provider happened to be in the hospital at the time.
<snip>

Birth: The usual plans would apply, minus the UC if the birth was premature, and minus the lotus birth if the hospital were involved. If NICU stays were needed... - that would be truly awful.


i can't let this go without commenting. a sextuplet birth is super high risk. there is an extremely high probability of complications, even at term. i am talking major complications. our bodies are not designed to give birth to 6 kids at once.

also, premature breech babies are at a way higher risk of head entrapment than term breech babies, because their heads are so much bigger in relation to their body.

i am 300% in favor of HB (i've had 2 of them), but i feel it is important to realize that there are limits to the safety of HB, and that hospitals and c/s really do have their place.

i hope i don't sound snotty or b!tchy, i don't mean to.







:


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## boingo82 (Feb 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sylith* 
If I had sextuplets I think I would run away from home. I wish I were kidding, but I'm not, really. I can't even imagine being a remotely sane or contented parent to six babies at once.

Me too. I don't think I'd be a good parent to 6 healthy babies let alone if any of them had health issues. Just the sleep deprivation alone would do me in.

If I didn't run away, I'd very seriously consider adopting most of them out.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Things like the sleep deprivation are short term problems though. And I'd be willing to engage in some "sleep training" close to a year if they weren't all sleeping through the night yet (sorry). Maybe it's because I'm young, but I can deal with a year of sh*tty sleep.


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## boingo82 (Feb 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Things like the sleep deprivation are short term problems though. And I'd be willing to engage in some "sleep training" close to a year if they weren't all sleeping through the night yet (sorry). Maybe it's because I'm young, but I can deal with a year of sh*tty sleep.

I'm younger too, and I could live through it, but I would not be any sort of a decent parent or spouse in the meantime.


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## mommy777 (Nov 12, 2007)

What would I do? Go a little bit nuts. But, I would deal and be happy. I am sure the first year I would probably forget my own name though.


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boingo82* 
If I didn't run away, I'd very seriously consider adopting most of them out.

Me, too. Two would be my limit, period.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

I'd pump like a fool while they were in the hospital, but then rely on donated milk and formula.

There's no way I'd even consider cloth diapering unless we were gifted regular visits from a diaper service. All that time spent doing laundry I could spend with my kids.

I'd have to sleep train. Not only for my own sanity, but theirs. My singleton wakes up 3-4x a night. If there were 6 babies waking up that many times a night, it wouldn't be healthy for anyone involved as it just wouldn't be possible to get to everybody. There would be less crying if they were sleep trained than if not. I'd hope to god that something other than CIO would work, but if not I'd probably resort to CIO in the most loving way possible. Again, it would be for their benefit and only if it would result in less overall crying.

Dh does the cooking so I'd have him make huge batches of everything on his days off and freeze. Hopefully we'd be gifted (another) deep freezer or two.

I'd schedule feedings. If everyone fed on demand, I'd never do anything else, so in order to spend the max amount of time with them, I'd schedule.

I'd make a rule that there were to be absolutely no visitors unless they either 1. Brought food or 2. Cleaned something.

I'd still GD, not spank, limit yelling.

I'd make at least one large room in the house 100% baby proofed and spend most of our time in there, letting them do what babies and toddlers do.

I'd scrimp and save to hire a nanny or aupair for as often as I could.

Just curious, for those that said they'd selectively reduce, how many would you reduce/abort/whatever the proper name is for it?


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

After having twins and knowing how exhausting it is, I cannot even imagine what I would do with 6 babies. I think it is a little arrogant for me to even assume to know how I would handle it, but I will give it a go!









My main priority would be to breastfeed as much as possible. Obviously, supplementing would be necessary but I would want the babies to get as much breastmilk as possible for as long as possible.

I would prefer to cloth diaper, but it would be nowhere near a priorty.

I would prefer to co-sleep, but not at the expense of my sanity. Ideally I would have nightime help so the babies would need to cry as little as possible. I know how frantic I got trying to meet the needs of 2 crying newborn twins in the middle of the night-what would I do with 6?







:

I would try to alternate wearing all the babies a little and ideally anyone who came to help would be willing to wear them as well.

Basically my first priority would be to breastfeed them and then go from there. I just thank God I will never have that many babies at once!

Oh, and I homebirthed twins, but I would not fight to birth sextuplets naturally. I would prefer to give it a try, even if only one could be born vaginally and the others came by c-section. But I defenitely would not demand a vaginal birth. I believe that if our bodies can conceive babies naturally, we can birth them naturally, even 3 or 4. But no one conceives 6 naturally, so it would be foolish to think our bodies are fully capable of birthing them without complications.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

okay so ive been thinking about this and i think i could totally wear sextuplet newborns... im thinking... first you put on a ring sling or pouch...not putting in babies... then swaddle three of the babies... youd need help for this step...
with the three babies tightly swaddled in thier blankets have helpers hold them on your back while you put on a wide blanket podegi in the traditional torso carry... you should know how to do this one beforehand... adjust as needed and then situate the pouch or rs...im thinking a rs would work better... stack in the babies froggy and upright in a modified tummy to tummy position. tighten rs and go!

im thinking a wrap or sarong tied around the whole thing would help with any weight issues...

im really tempted to borrow some newborns and try this now


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

Gosh, some of the things in this thread are pretty mean, especially since we are all MDC friends with at least 2 triplet moms on here. Some of the stuff said could certainly apply to them as well - more than twins, etc.

I think I would be terrified if I found out I was pregnant with 6 babies. That would bring up a lot of my fears, like prematurity, disability, the loss of my attractiveness, the inability to parent well, the loss of my previous life with my dh, financial fears, etc. And all that in one neat tidy package!

I think I'd start with the financials - medical care, etc. I might want to start a volunteer list for people to help out, I think I'd childproof everything I could. Perhaps a storage unit for all those things I don't really need?


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

You'd still be attractive, Apricot.


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
You'd still be attractive, Apricot.

I'd make sure to put a fresh coat of paint on the wheelbarrow that would hold up my belly.


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## MidgeMommy (Mar 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tigerchild* 
I think screaming tantrums are kind of cute.







And if you got one of those kid harness things (like they sell in school catalogs), and a pair of roller skates, you'd never have to walk uphill again! And the sibling-enhanced childproofing testing team would be like having the Cirque du Soleil in your own living room. If two kids can boost each other over the gate, think what 6 could accomplish! You could be extremely popular on YouTube.









:














:







:









I like your style of parenting.

I'd be more







. But I think anything that can/should be done with one can/should be done with 2, or 6, or 43. You just might have to prioritize more. So, do everything as much as you can, and fill in the gaps just to get by. Of course I would PLAN to breastfeed, and try cosleeping, but wherever everyone gets the most sleep and the best fed is how things would happen.

PS - I am actually naturally inclined towards multiples (I have multiple ripening of eggs every month, and one or two twin splits would make it sextuplets) and I really don't think I could selectively reduce. Ever.


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## kittykorat (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elowyn* 
Just for the record, it's not IVF that produces sextuplets. IVF transfers back 2-3 embryos the vast majority of the time (occasionally four in an "older" woman with many failures.) Never six.

Injectables + IUI gives you sextuplets, if poorly monitored.

That was my thought... If you are doing injectables and IUI they are supposed to cancel if you have more than three eggs.

My second son is an IVF baby. We had two embryos, transferred both, but only one implanted.

Honestly, I can't imagine what I would do, mostly because I could never be so irresponsible with fertility treatments to end up with such a high order multiple.


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## elisabeth78 (Apr 9, 2007)

I would selectively reduce to twins. If that wasn't an option, I would probably shift into survival mode. I would hire or recruit as many helpers as possible and turn our basement into a big bedroom with futons on the floor. I would try to give each sextuplet one or two sessions of nursing a day, and pump between times as much as I could.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

I would never do fertility treatments, but *if* I was someone who did, I would just accept my fate, as the Gosselins did and do the best I could every day. I *LOVE* watching that show, btw, and think they are doing a great job given their situation.


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## DragonflyBlue (Oct 21, 2003)

Quote:

I'd be more . But I think anything that can/should be done with one can/should be done with 2, or 6, or 43. You just might have to prioritize more.
You may believe that but the reality is for many, it just isn't possible. One child vs two or more is vastly different. It's a helluva lot harder too.

I'm a twin mom. I'm AP, co-sleeping, baby wearing, nonvaxing, etc... All the things I did with my singletons went out the window with twins.

I put them on the same feeding schedule from birth. If one nursed, I put the other to the breast as well. I taught them to eat at the same time.

I planned on co-sleeping in bed with dh and the twins. I could not figure out how to nurse them both in my bed, prop all the pillows, not wake up dh who has to be up for work at 4:30. So I ended up sleeping upstairs on the couch - recliners on each end - with the twins for about 14 months.

I planned on wearing both babies. My stepmom bought me a lovely twin carrier that I'd researched and wanted. I couldn't even figure out how to put it on so I never used it. I couldn't sling as I didn't have any and no money to buy any.

I had never used bouncy chairs or saucers or baby Einstein. I did with the twins so that I could cook dinner and shower.

Things were very different for me in terms of parenting. My twins fussed/cried more than my other kids simply because there was not enough of me to go around.

I started solids early so that they'd go a bit longer between night feeds so I could get more than 2.5 - 3 hours of sleep a night.

I had little to no help. I had a baby with colic. My dh works rotating shifts day or night and is gone for nearly 15 hours on a work day. I had 4 other kids to take care of.

All the kids were in weekly therapy appointments to help them deal with their sister's suicide only 8 months before the twins were born.

I did the best I could.

Even without all those stressful things, doing for multiples what you would do with one isn't very realistic. Mom is only capable of so much. She has to eat, shower, sleep, take care of herself too or else there won't be much left of mom and she will be worthless to her family and herself. You can't run off of idealism.

It's easy to say what you think you would do in any given situation, but until you are there, in the trenches, you just don't know.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Dragonfly, thanks for weighing in. I was hoping a twin mum would come and contribute.

I've only looked after other people's twins, but it was enough to show me that as you said, almost everything you can do with one goes out the window with two. And you have two breasts and two arms. I cannot see how you could physically and logistically co-sleep with six newborns without someone getting smothered when you try and figure out who just cried out at three AM.

And as for a homebirth with sextuplets - do you think the hospital would call for an injunction as you disconnected the terbutaline pump and all the monitors and attempted to go home when it was clear labour was going to not be stopped today? And then calling the ambulances to transport the six babies beck to the NICU?


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## Girlsmama (Jul 14, 2007)

If i had Sextuplets plus all the kids i have now?! Man i think i'd have to find a few good nannies, maybe some drinks....hehe


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## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
I'm not the person whose comment you replied to, but I am opposed to adoption. I don't feel that it's ethically handled, for one thing -- it's the commodification of children. Infant adoption in the United States is entirely corrupt, coercive tactics are used to procure babies for waiting adopters, and the effect on children (and surrendering parents) is very, very negative.

Here's an article that I wrote on the subject: The Case Against Adoption: Research and Alternatives for Concerned Citizens

I've been involved in the anti-adoption movement for ten years now, I literally wrote a book on the subject, and I'm happy to answer any questions you have (though it's probably better to do it via PM since it's OT for this thread).

How sad. I know 2 families who chose adoption over fertility treatments. They now have healthy, happy children. One family adopted an American child and another family adopted a child from China. Both adoptions were legal. My friends who adopted from China - their story is heartbreaking. Their baby girl was found in a basket on the side of the road. They didn't even know for sure how old she was.


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe* 
I've only looked after other people's twins, but it was enough to show me that as you said, almost everything you can do with one goes out the window with two. And you have two breasts and two arms. I cannot see how you could physically and logistically co-sleep with six newborns without someone getting smothered when you try and figure out who just cried out at three AM.

And as for a homebirth with sextuplets - do you think the hospital would call for an injunction as you disconnected the terbutaline pump and all the monitors and attempted to go home when it was clear labour was going to not be stopped today? And then calling the ambulances to transport the six babies beck to the NICU?

Yeah, I can't imagine co-sleeping with six. We did it for 2 months with the triplets and it got too overwhelming for us. We used a sidecar crib for two of them, kept one in the bed until 4 months. Then two went in the crib at the end of our room and the other went in the sidecarred crib. Now, the boys are in their own cribs (they refuse to sleep with each other, they fight too much) and Lily sleeps with us (as does dakota). I can't even imagine trying to juggle 6 infants, sleep deprived beyond imagination, in a giant bed safely. Someone would get hurt, most likely.


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## etoilech (Mar 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
After checking out costs online, I'd get an au pair. About the same cost as a nanny, but they live with you (and are cheaper than a live-in nanny).


OT: Just saying, you never get an au pair to work for you. Okay, maybe not never, really unlikely. As an au pair you are paid really poorly and it is supposed to be cultural exchange (with the au pair attending language classes). I highly doubt a reputable agency would even look at you for an au pair placement since you would obviously be looking for a nanny. It is a big difference between a nanny and an au pair. I don't think enough people understand that.







:


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Ok, a nanny then.


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## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

The first thing I would do is buy another washer and dryer...







But serious I have thought about multiples....it runs in dp's family. I think I would bf on turns...2 at time, next feeding different 2 etc. You would have to schedule naps and feedings I think. Our bed room would just turn into one giant bed. I would ask for help....from everyone I know. It would be crazy.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

As an aside, it is only a maternal history of multiples that increases one's chance of having multiples.


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## etoilech (Mar 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Ok, a nanny then.

Me too.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Six would TERRIFY me! Twins would be alright, anything beyond that I don't think I would be able to handle. With 6 I would for SURE have to get some help. But I would accept it & do my best.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

If I was pregnant with six I don't know what I would do. I don't think I could reduce and I don't think I could take care of that many. I think I would plan on having a nervous breakdown.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
If I was pregnant with six I don't know what I would do. I don't think I could reduce and I don't think I could take care of that many. I think I would plan on having a nervous breakdown.









I think you'd have a rotating mod invasion for a few months.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

I don't believe in abortion so I'd just pray a lot and trust God to give me the strength to live through it. I can't imagine though, Jon and Kate's kids are adorable and she's got it down to a smooth routine but I couldn't imagine 6 BABIES at once. ACK!!


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## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

Oh wow, what a fun thread!

I'd be sure to let my church know I'd accept any and all help- babysitters, mother's helpers, meals, etc- that they wanted to give. Cause having that many newborns, there's no way two people could do it by themselves. I know dh and I would need help.

We would stay in military housing but we'd be able to get one more bedroom than we have now (I think 4 bedrooms is the most our military housing has). So 4 bedrooms for 8 kids (the sextuplets plus our older 2) and dh & me would work out.

I think I'd write a car company or Oprah and ask them to donate a large van.







I'd probably write Graco about getting free carseats. Cause after all, having sextuplets is huge and would make the news, and wouldn't the company's love their names being up there as helping us?

As for AP, I wouldn't plan on it. Whatever happens happens. I don't think I could ever commit to a specific type of parenting plan with that many kids of the same age.

Now, for breastfeeding, I would only breastfeed the smaller/unhealthier/weaker ones. I'm sure that sounds harsh, but whichever 1 or 2 of the babies truly needs that breastmilk would get it. I'm sure some will think that's unfair, but I only have two boobs and can only make so much milk! I'm only one person, and if one of my babies desperately needs that milk to give him or her an equal chance as the others, well, that one would get it.

Co-sleeping? No way. Nu uh, not happening. I would absolutely NEED some good quality sleep at night to survive the days without having a mental breakdown. If I can't get enough rest I'm not going to be capable of taking care of the babies. So they would be in their crib's in their own room's.

On a totally vein, shallow note, I can't even imagine what having 6 babies at once would do to my body. I think I'd write those shows that do cosmetic surgery and ask them for a tummy tuck or whatever I'd need to get my body back.









Baby wearing... not sure. Probably.

Scheduling? Heck ya. I can't imagine what utter chaos my home would be without a schedule with that many babies. I can't even imagine.

Also, I think I'd find a couple sitter's once a week- or once every two weeks if we can't afford it every week- and dh and I go spend a date night alone. We would NEED some us time, away from the babies, to keep our marriage strong.

I would also have to try and spend some time with my older two alone often- or as often as possible- so they don't feel too pushed to the side by the other 6.

Anyway, that's my take on it. I pray I never have to face this situation though!


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## ladybugzz (Aug 4, 2004)

CRY!!! We already have six - I wouldn't reduce, but one of us would have to quit working (most likely hubby seeing as I make about 3x the money he does) ... I just cannot even fathom - but seeing as the plumbing is shut off







I don't need to worry about it !!


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## cagnew (Oct 1, 2007)

I'd have 'em and love 'em. I don't know how I'd manage to take care of all of them... pray for help I guess.

Kind of overwhelming to think of! Good thing the chances of that happening naturally are like, next to nothing.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

I'd take them down to Walmart in a cardboard box with a sign that said 'FREE' in large letters.







:


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meowee* 
I'm just curious-- what WOULD you do as an AP parents if sextuplets landed on your lap?

Sextuplets don't just land in your lap.

I wouldn't have implanted that many embryos.


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## Alison's Mom (May 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

I would have thought seriously about reducing, and probably would have done it, but would have felt guilty about it.

If I ended up having all 6, or even 5, 4, or 3, we'd probably sell our house and move to a small town with cheap real estate so we could both stay home with the kids. Then, you just do what you can, and hope for the best. I would probably get lots of hired help if I could afford it, and be really organized about schedules and routines.


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

I'd reduce to triplets as that is apparently the most a human mother is suppose to have naturally.
I've heard of breast feeding exclusively for triplets but never more. If I had to supplement I'd take donor milk.

I'd try to parent from my heart and not be afraid to try something different in case its not working.

I'd feel so sorry for ds if I had multiples.







I can't imagine sharing attention with 3 newborns.


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## MOMYS (Nov 5, 2008)

I'd do whatever I'd have to!


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

******** Not a mod here, but: I'd think we should stay away from the reduction/abortion talk as to keep the thread open. **********


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## swimswamswum (Oct 26, 2005)

I would reduce. I couldn't handle that many babies. I couldn't handle them emotionally, we couldn't afford them and I don't think it would be fair to DD.

I doubt I will ever be in a situation where I would be pregnant with six. Multiples don't run in our families and because we have a healthy kid, we have no reason to use fertility treatments.


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## Pat899 (Nov 11, 2008)

I have eight kiddoes. They are 11, 9, 7, 6, 4, 3, 2, and 5 months. You just do what works. Find a way to love your kids best. That is the best way to parent.

Seriously, I hate that show. She is awful to her kids and husband. I won't let my kids watch it.


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

I should be sleeping, but I got sucked into this thread....I've not read pages 5-8 yet, so forgive me...

What would you do if someone gave you 6 babies at once? I dunno...let's say something extreme where you were the only one to take care of them?

First, I'd pray for money and help. What I would want would be to have several helpers...with assigned jobs. Like, a bottle fixer, a diaper changer, laundry person, kitchen help, etc.

And then, I'd fix up one room (BIG room) daycare style, with a quiet corner for me. And I'd set myself up as queen bee so I could watch all my children at once, but yet have only 1 or 2 at a time rotated to me. I could give them individual attention, but still see what was going on. I dunno...I just CAN'T leave my kids with people who aren't family...and not even all of them...no matter how nice they are. As they got bigger, I can see that we could start dropping off the baby care help, but we'd need to keep the laundry/housekeeper/kitchen help fairly indefinately, I'd think.

I'd also pump on a schedule, and distribute the milk evenly. It'd be sad, but I wouldn't actually nurse any of them. I wouldn't co-sleep, though, if they slept okay that way, I'd probably put them together at night, at least for a while. And, they'd be close to me (same room?) Oh, and I'd hire a "night shift".

Realistically, though...all that would take a lot of money that most people (us!) don't have. So...I'd make do.

With ds I changed my parenting style definition to "whatever is best for the baby." Which, I guess is what is was all along, but I needed to clarify that in my own mind. So, I'd try to learn about my babies the best I could, and do what was best for each one. And I think I'd still try to set up one big room (knock out a wall or two?) for everything. Beds, food prep, diapering, play area, etc. would all be together so we could easily handle everything and keep an eye on everyone at once.

Hmmm....it's fun to think about....but I'd hope I got all 9 months to think and plan...I'd need every second.

Oh...and it would be REALLY fun to buy baby clothes. And I'm another who would LOVE the toddler phase.

Ideally, I guess, I'd want to have someone (more than one, probably) to take care of all the "needs" and I would want to "parent." Like..."okay, so and so is going to change your diaper and then bring you right back to mama and then we'll all read a book." So, I could just be "mama", and all that piddly stuff that takes forever goes away.


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lalaland42* 
I'd take them down to Walmart in a cardboard box with a sign that said 'FREE' in large letters.







:

lol
in keeping with AP, we'd all sit in the box together, and i'd tandem bf em all.









seriously, the thought of this is what makes me not totally judge Kate. i cannot imagine what life would be like with 6 babies. and then 6 TODDLERS OMG. my ds is 10 months, and INTO EVERYTHING. he is Danger Baby. I vomit in my mouth just thinking of 6 Danger Babies at once. omg. my head spins...

i can't see how i could do some of the AP practices i do now with that many. Cosleeping would not fly, i'd have to have seperate sleep arrangements. i would go insane if i were sleep deprived with that many to tend to. Nursing-since there's no way to 100% bf SIX, i guess i'd nurse them in rounds, and ask for doner milk from all ya'll







. I still wouldnt vax, and i would be even more careful about toddler (and mama) nutrition and supplements than i am with my own now, b/c sextuplets tend to have health issues and compromised immune systems.

i would totally schedule stuff like mealtimes, bath and bed. i don't see how you COULDNT and it not be total bedlam!

my attitude wouldn't be any different-i would still respect my children, their autonomy, their feelings, their thoughts, and thier bodies.

I hate how mocking and chiding Kate is toward them, and how she talks about them when they can hear her. I also can't stand that she won't let them have markers or paint at home, and that they don't seem to own play clothes that they can get dirty in. I'm a neatik control freak too, but she gets SO UPSET over the smallest things-it makes me feel so sad for her and for the kids and jon too. i wish she could let herself breathe and relax a little bit.

i would still mother the same at heart.

i would ask for and accept help. lots of it.

financially, i just really don't know how on earth we could do that-things are extremely tight with the 4 of us lately. i guess we'd be writing a "Dear Oprah" plea for help, too.

i would pray ALOT.


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

Seriously, the truth is I'd THANK GOD for giving me six blessings. And I can guarantee with five grandparents, three bro/sis in-laws, a few aunts, and several adult cousins we'd have no issues with babysitters. I'd do all the same things I do now, but times six. Of course, i'd have to quite my job and we'd have to buy a bigger house, but no problems there.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.









:


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Firstly, we don't do fertility treatments for religious reasons (the flip side of our rejection of birth control).

If by some crazy chance we got sextuplets naturally, we couldn't and wouldn't reduce.

I'd call in the cavalry. Either hire a nanny or one of my sisters to stay with us, and try to be the milk lady for a least a few weeks. "Hand me the next baby".







I'm sure we'd have a pretty strict routine just in order to survive.


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## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

That was what I was going to say as well!


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dealic* 
Quite honestly, I wouldn't. I'd have selectively reduced.

Me too and that's exactly what I was going to post.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
******** Not a mod here, but: I'd think we should stay away from the reduction/abortion talk as to keep the thread open. **********

Talking about reduction won't get the thread shut. If people try to debate and argue people's choices, that is what would get the thread shut down. You can't have a thread about what one woudl do with hom without talk of reduction.

On that note, I would definitely get a reduction.


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## Lolagirl (Jan 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Sextuplets don't just land in your lap.

I wouldn't have implanted that many embryos.

IVF mom chiming in here, because this misconception seems to keep popping up in discussions about high order multiples and it's driving me bananas.

HOMs are almost always (well, 99.9% of the time) the result of IUI, not IVF. IVF is actually done in part to control how many embryos actually implant in the uterus as a result of Assisted Reproductive Techhologies (ART.) Families like the Gosselins, Dillys, and others all used IUI, not IVF to conceive their children.

Please, please, please, stop lumping all of us who needed IVF to conceive our children into the same category. IVF and IUI are simply not the same thing, it's unfair to continue spreading this kind of misinformation about HOMs and attributing them to IVF when it is just not the truth.

(As an aside, I don't personally take issue with those who do resort to IUI as treatment for their infertility. There are lots of reasons why IUI is used instead of IVF, in large part because it isn't as intensive, invasive of expensive as IVF. It's all about personal choice, folks!)


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I think I would just do my best. I think Jon and Kate are doing their best. I think it's funny how many threads I see where people think they could do it better.

I have a hard time keeping up with one teenager and all she needs to do.

I give them credit for coming up with something that works for them.

But, Kate could stand to loosen up a little.


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## DandeCobb (Jul 20, 2006)

I would be scared but excited. Put me in the 6 toddlers would be a hoot camp! As far as their baby-hood. I would schedule, schedule, schedule. With 2 young ones i need schedules, with 8 (tups plus my 2) i would have to have schedules. I would nurse as often and as many as I could and put out the call to all the local MDC moms that I needed pumped milk, or come by and nurse a baby (or 2) when you have a chance!

cloth diapers - no way i heck would i even try to put that burden on myself.

co-sleeping - by necessity I'd assume i'd end up with 4 + kids in my bed a night.

Voluteer helpers/freebies - bring it on, show up at the door with your clean background check and i'll invite you in with a smile and a chore list!

My big fear with that many would be, i would spend so much time and energy on the few that were smaller/sickly-er that the robust, healthy babies would get ignored. Knowing myself like i do, I'm sure i would create some sort of list to keep track and make sure the lower-needs babies still got mama time.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lolagirl* 
IVF mom chiming in here, because this misconception seems to keep popping up in discussions about high order multiples and it's driving me bananas.

HOMs are almost always (well, 99.9% of the time) the result of IUI, not IVF. IVF is actually done in part to control how many embryos actually implant in the uterus as a result of Assisted Reproductive Techhologies (ART.) Families like the Gosselins, Dillys, and others all used IUI, not IVF to conceive their children.

Please, please, please, stop lumping all of us who needed IVF to conceive our children into the same category. IVF and IUI are simply not the same thing, it's unfair to continue spreading this kind of misinformation about HOMs and attributing them to IVF when it is just not the truth.

(As an aside, I don't personally take issue with those who do resort to IUI as treatment for their infertility. There are lots of reasons why IUI is used instead of IVF, in large part because it isn't as intensive, invasive of expensive as IVF. It's all about personal choice, folks!)

Sorry, apparently I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't even understand half of the abbreviations you've used in your post.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, spread misinformation, or mistruth!

I was simply responding to the post. And trying to get the message across that 6 babies at once doesn't "fall into anyone's lap" as was suggested by the OP. As you personally know, it's a decision that people who are encountered with using fertility treatments come to consciously.

AND as such, I was saying that *I* wouldn't DO anything that would put me in the position of having 6 babies at one time. I believe that to be an irresponsible decision, and a multiple pregnancy like that is unhealthy for the mother and obviously unhealthy for the babies who obviously are going to be born very premature in need of all sorts of treatments, and as has been stated here on this thread, the likelihood 6 babies would be able to be breastfed or treated as every baby has the right to be (i.e. worn, nursed on cue, coslept), is slim to none. So that's not right, and its not a decision I would make. That was the point I attempted to make the first time, without being so darned verbose.

Sorry to have offended. It wasn't my intent.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

I would strongly consider reducing to 3 or 4. But having said that, the question wasn't what would I do if I was PREGNANT with 6, it was what would I do if I HAD six.

I wouldn't co-sleep. I would let them cosleep though, putting two or three babies in a crib since they're so used to it from the womb. 6 mobile babies would not sleep well together in the same bed. One would constantly be waking the others and there's no way I could get good rest with 12 hands and 12 legs potentially hitting and kicking me throughout the night.

I would bf as many as I could and hope for donor milk for the others. While they're in the NICU, I'd pump like a mad woman to get my supply as high as possible and take any and all supplements I safely could. The weaker ones would get more milk, but all babies would at least get some milk - hopefully a little everyday but that would depend greatly on the health of the others.

I'd definitely cd. Out of all the AP things I do, I'd think that would be the easiest. We'd hopefully be gifted a service, but if not we'd keep it to prefolds and covers. It'd mean more laundry, but it'd be the easiest of all of it with no stink issues, we wouldn't worry about stains, no folding, etc.

I'd wear one in the sling at all times and two when they're little. Ideally, dh and all helpers would as well, but who knows if they would. I'd ask for as much help with housekeeping, etc as I could get so I could spend more time taking care of my kids. For all helpers, I'd have two giant dry erase boards hung on the wall of the main room. One would be for the baby crew with who ate what last, diaper changes, and general schedule. The other would be for the housekeeping crew and have a list of things that need to be done. Erase as needed and if you find something that needs to be done but can't get to it, write it up there.

We'd have to have a schedule, no two ways about it. You eat when food is offered or you don't eat (toddlers and older, obviously). We wouldn't be strict with it - if none are hungry til 8am but we usually eat at 7:30, no biggie. If it's close to meal time and some are starting to get hungry we won't wait til it's time. Naptime and bedtime would always be at the same time to keep me sane. We would sleep train, no doubt. Can you imagine getting up 6 different times during the night - and that's all of them just waking once? Yeah, again, schedule. It'd be the only way you'd get anything done.

I would have to research vaccines and HOM/preemies before saying for sure, but most likely we would not vaccinate. Definitely no hep b or eye goop, etc.

Things I wouldn't budge on - gentle discipline, baby led solids, cloth diapering, not spanking, leave them intact. I don't think you have to do bf, cd, cosleep, etc to be considered AP. AP to me is loving your children and treating them with the same respect as adults, while doing the best you can.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

What would I do with sextuplets? To be honest, I have no clue. We'd have to move. I don't know how we'd even afford a place to live, let alone clothes, etc. Ugh.

What I would definitely _try_ to do:

Breastfeed to as great an extent as my supply would allow. That would mean rotating babies, so that they all got at least some breastmilk. I have no idea how much I'd be able to manage and how much ABM would be required, though.

I'd definitely cloth diaper. At least my washer and dryer are in my house. I don't want the hassle of having to go out and buy diapers every other day. I _can't_ handle the expense. I'd also try a lot harder to help my children potty learn at an early age...but if they were all like ds2...I don't know...

Cosleeping would be awfully tricky. Maybe I'd have them all in my room and switch around which ones were actually in our bed? I don't know - think I'd have to see how that one worked.

I guess I'd have to do some scheduling, but that would be hard. I suck at schedules.

Survive. Survive. Survive. That would be my main mission. When I look at how crazy things are here right now, with one teenager, two little ones, and a baby-under-construction...cannot even imagine coping with _six_ all at once!


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## Tigerchild (Dec 2, 2001)

Even though it's been a year since I last posted in this thread, and now all of my children are in school for at least half the day...even better rested and with more distance, I still think that I'd have to have a suicide prevention strategy in place.

I thought I understood sleep deprivation until I had twins. And as a twin mom I cannot even begin to fathom triplets. The complications and energy drain does not multiply, it goes up exponentially. I don't think it's possible to exclusively breastfeed beyond 3. I nursed 3 for awhile, and nursed my twins until they self weaned (none of my kids did cereal or baby food, we went straight from the breast to table food, chopped/smooshed as necessary of course). I grew healthy kiddos but I was extremely depleted after weaning, it took me a couple of years to truly recover, and nursing twins and comfort nursing a toddler is NOT maxing yourself out like hom would be.

I'd like to think that I could selectively reduce, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't. I couldn't even make a decision that would have guaranteed the life of one, I chose instead to risk them both. Luckily for me and them it worked out, but it took me years before I wasn't daily haunted by that either--so I know that I probably wouldn't have the guts to reduce. (after having been through my experience, I must say that i have one hell of a lot more respect for parents who decide to go for reduction or abortion--I too believed that was the 'easy way' out until I had it stare me straight in the face, now I know there ARE no 'easy ways out'.)

It's true that you'd probably get some commercial help as long as you've got the right look (HOM families of color in general do not receive as much public attention and assistance).

For me personally though, it would be devastating. I am an introvert. I am a shy person. Having a ton of helpers in and out of my home all the time (and yes, that would be necessary for quite a long time) would put me through the wringer emotionally when I would be already physically drained. I guess i'd be a little more able to deal with the extremely painful readjustment of AP expectations now that I already had to do that with twins.







But it'd still be painful.

My only hope would be to arm myself with whatever I needed to do just to survive that first year/year and a half. It can be done, taking one step at a time, but...for me that would be a very hard journey. It's not even really all that fun for me to think or fanatsize about.


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## Carma (Feb 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Sorry, apparently I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't even understand half of the abbreviations you've used in your post.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, spread misinformation, or mistruth!

I was simply responding to the post. And trying to get the message across that 6 babies at once doesn't "fall into anyone's lap" as was suggested by the OP. As you personally know, it's a decision that people who are encountered with using fertility treatments come to consciously.

AND as such, I was saying that *I* wouldn't DO anything that would put me in the position of having 6 babies at one time. I believe that to be an irresponsible decision, and a multiple pregnancy like that is unhealthy for the mother and obviously unhealthy for the babies who obviously are going to be born very premature in need of all sorts of treatments, and as has been stated here on this thread, the likelihood 6 babies would be able to be breastfed or treated as every baby has the right to be (i.e. worn, nursed on cue, coslept), is slim to none. So that's not right, and its not a decision I would make. That was the point I attempted to make the first time, without being so darned verbose.

Sorry to have offended. It wasn't my intent.

High multiples happen in medicated IUI cycles that are not monitored well enough by the docs. But also in Clomid cycles that are not even monitored a lot of times because they are often without IUI.

You can only know much risk you are willing to take with fertility treatments when you are actually infertile and really face the choices. Going through infertility makes you stretch what you are willing to do to have a child IMO.

Carma


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

I would move to Nebraska.









Kidding, people. I'm kidding.


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## La Rune (Sep 19, 2008)

The first thing I'd do would be call my best friend and tell her she'd be moving in ASAP. And ask if she'd be willing to induce lactation.

After that ... I don't know. Take my ideal, figure out which parts would work with that many babies, and then wing the rest.


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
I would move to Nebraska.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

re: comments about "not putting oneself in that position".

The Dionne quintuplets were born in 1934. The family was poor, and already had five children. I doubt highly that they attempted any kind of fertility measures, even of the folklorish variety. They most certainly didn't have IVF or IUI or anything else of that sort in 1934. Five children. That's HOM. The only thing they did to "put themselves in that position" was have sex.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

hum..

I would ask my sisters to induce lactation. I would move into a bigger house








I would CD, to me diapers are diapers. I would cosleep, how else would you get sleep!

I would probably reduce. I can't say for sure, but I would have to think long and hard about it.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NYCVeg* 
I would move to Nebraska.









Kidding, people. I'm kidding.

I live in Nebraska.....not the best place to be


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Carma* 
High multiples happen in medicated IUI cycles that are not monitored well enough by the docs. But also in Clomid cycles that are not even monitored a lot of times because they are often without IUI.

You can only know much risk you are willing to take with fertility treatments when you are actually infertile and really face the choices. Going through infertility makes you stretch what you are willing to do to have a child IMO.

Carma

Thanks for the clarification.

I can only imagine infertility would make a person questions one's decisions.

But I can tell you for certain that my beliefs are such that I would not ever choose or have chosen to have the possibility of 6 children, infertility or no. I certainly am grateful never to have been put in the position of even approaching those discussions in my life, but not having been there in person doesn't mean if I were that I would drastically change my perspective on the fairness & rightness of treatment of babies.

In the same way as I knew long before having a baby that I'd never let any future baby cry it out - because that's just not how you treat another person. I didn't need to have a baby to know that.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

If I found myself with six babies in my tummy I would not reduce, I just personally could not CHOOSE which babies to keep and which ones go, that is not for me at all. I really don't know what I would do after the birth, I guess I would have to wait and see what is best for the family at the time. Sometimes we never know what will DO until we HAVE to do it.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
re: comments about "not putting oneself in that position".

The Dionne quintuplets were born in 1934. The family was poor, and already had five children. I doubt highly that they attempted any kind of fertility measures, even of the folklorish variety. They most certainly didn't have IVF or IUI or anything else of that sort in 1934. Five children. That's HOM. The only thing they did to "put themselves in that position" was have sex.

Okay, but don't you think its farily safe to assume currently the large majority of multiple births (we're not talking twins or even triplets here) are because of fertility treatments, not random chance, right? The story the OP was talking about was 6 babies born at once, because of fertility treatments, as I understand. Correct? And so they made a choice to put themselves in that position. And so, no, I wouldn't make that choice. I think that's a realistic statement to make.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I would honestly probably reduce.

If by some weird miracle I ended up with sextuplets naturally with no fertility treatments and I somehow didn't find out until they were all born (yes, I'm stretching here!) I would probably cry, then I would enlist the help of EVERYONE I know and find a way that DP could stay home and we could still make enough money.

I probably wouldn't co-sleep unless it was necessary for a specific child's comfort. I don't think I'd schedule meals because I can't work on a schedule.

I would try my damndest to breastfeed all of them. I love nursing, I make 3 times as much milk as my baby needs anyway, and I think it'd just be totally freaking awesome to BF multiples. I know that realistically it's probably no fun at all though.

I really admire moms of multiples. I had nightmares when I was pregnant that it was twins. It must be really tough. I know I'm just scraping by with one!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Okay, but don't you think its farily safe to assume currently the large majority of multiple births (we're not talking twins or even triplets here) are because of fertility treatments, not random chance, right? The story the OP was talking about was 6 babies born at once, because of fertility treatments, as I understand. Correct? And so they made a choice to put themselves in that position. And so, no, I wouldn't make that choice. I think that's a realistic statement to make.

I don't think it's a realistic comment. The question in the thread title was "what would you do if you had sextuplets?". If people don't want to address that, that's fine. I just don't see the point in holier than thou comments about putting oneself in that position, when it could conceivably (ouch - bad pun) happen to _anybody_. I'm currently pregnant and this will be my last baby. I've always wanted four and my family will be complete once this baby arrives. That doesn't mean that nature couldn't throw me a curve ball in the form of twins or triplets...or even quads or quints...

Is it _likely_? No. The likelihood of having HOM doesn't have anything to do with what I'd do if it happened, though. It's a hypothetical question, so I don't get why people are addressing it solely as an issue of fertility treatments and choices. It _could_ happen without those treatments, and the question is about how we'd handle it if it did happen...not about whether we'd put ourselves in that position in the first place.


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## Zadee (Oct 20, 2006)

1. Buy a bigger house.
2. Move my mother in.
3. Move my MIL in.
4. Get a bigger washer
5. Inform all helpers that my job is to BF as many as possible and they get to bottle feed, bathe, and change the rest because while not BF I will be eating or sleeping. Actually, I will be eating while BF and sleeping at all other times.
6. Wrangle volunteers from local mom's group and church
7. tell husband he needs to magically triple his income.


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

Oh goodness, I don't know.

I think I would probably have to reduce as well... Which would be so hard for me, because I really don't believe in that sort of thing for myself... I didn't terminate with DS though, even after my doctors pretty much begged me too -- that was because he had a birth defect though, and that's not something I'm willing to terminate for. But since being pregnant with 6 would put all of the babies lives in danger (and my own), I think I could do it. Plus, having 6 would put one in the hospital for MONTHS. There's no way we could swing that with a 3yo with SN at home.

That being said, if I did have 6...

First of all, I would need help. Probably at least 3 caregivers and at least 2 housekeepers, round the clock.

I would still BF as much as possible and I would be on MDC begging local moms to donate milk.







Most humans can produce enough for 3, so I'd just nurse them all as much as possible and get the other half or so from donations. I'd start "collecting" milk well before I gave birth though and store it in a huge deep freeze.









As far as sleeping arrangements, I would probably turn my bedroom into one big bed. But I'd probably still have a crib in the room for the ones that need some space, because that's always possible. Not every baby loves co-sleeping.

I'd still BW, and have plenty of extra slings on hand for my helpers.

I'd still cloth diaper as well. No way could I handle that much garbage, it would give me a freakin panic attack. My housekeepers can take care of the laundry. LOL

All of that is in theory, anyway. Those no telling what I'd really do if that really happened to me.


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## Onemagicmummy (Jul 27, 2007)

if i were to spontaniously have 6 babies i would first off freak out then i would


freeze as many meals as i could before the birth.
pair the babies up in cots and co-sleep with whom ever needs it the most at any given time.
work in shifts with DH if needed, he takes them for 3 hours, then i take then for three hours while he gets some sleep
BF the sickest baby as much as possible, rotate the rest, pump in between source donated BM/milk banks/possibley even a wet nurse/use formula if i have too.
hire a cleaner to come in once a day to hoover, wash dishes, make beds, do laundry.
hire a diaper serivce and use cloth diapers
rope in some family to help
carry 2 each between me and DH or two myself and the others in some sort of pushchair, facing me, not facing out. when they were a bit older if i thought it was safe i would have my eldest carry a baby every so offten.
while i would love to have twins, 6 im not so sure, but no matter how many babies i have i will try to keep the kind of schedule we have already. i would put in a lot of forward planning, freezing meals, getting enought clothes, nappies, checking out milk banks, formula, bottles, double breastpumps, etc. each baby would be colour coded simply so we know who has been fed, what, when, how long, how much if bottle fed, when they were changed, what was in the nappy, who napped, how long, who was in the wrap last, who's turn it is next.

kiz


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

If I naturally became pregnant with 6 babies I would still reduce. It would be a heartbreaking choice to make but one I feel would be best.

If some reason I was handed 6 babies tomorrow I would go rent a hospital grade pump and start pumping like mad (I'd feel very lucky I was lactating already), I would try to find as much help as I could and do my very best to care for all the babies and my children as best I could. I would definitely have to get on whatever finacial assitance I could as well because we are poor and 6 more babies would more than break us.


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

I'd have to divide and conquer. Seriously. There are things I'm sure I could give up with Baby A that Baby B would need and so on.

I would not make myself crazy trying to BF and pump. I pumped for 27.5 mos for a singleton, and still had to supp. No way would I put myself through that hell for 2.5oz/baby/day. I'd do it for however long they were in NICU, and a month or so after that, and that's it. If my defective breasts somehow made more, I'd consider it for longer, but, I'd still have to supp. I would be willing to nurse for quite a while, but it would be mostly non-nutritive.

My DD slept better in a crib for the first 9 mos. I'd put whichever Babies could sleep well in a crib(s) together in pairs. I'd take whichever really needed me there into bed. And I realize that might vary by day.

I'd definitely baby-wear. It made life so much easier with DD in general. I'd obviously have to switch out babies, but, I'd probably have a baby on me every waking hour.

I *would* try to get them on a schedule, at least for sleeping - or, probably, 2-3 schedules. Just so I *could* have some individual time with each baby. If I could get Babies A/B to nap from 12-2, and babies C/D from 1-3,and E/F 2-4, I'd have some indi. time with each.

I'd hire some sort of outside help to do housework. Whether that's a local teen, a housekeeper, even paying a friend, etc.

We used sposies with DD, but, with six babies, I'd invest in a lot of cloth diapers.

I would MANDATE Mommy-alone time. Even if it were only an hour or two a week. I'd hire a couple of baby-sitters, and GET OUT for a coffee, or to go to the library, or something. And time alone with my older DD.

However, we plan for DD to be an only, so, hopefully, I won't ever have to face this issue.


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## dachshund mom (Dec 28, 2007)

I'd be more worried about DH running away.







We used clomid (only, no triggers or IUI) and did ultrasound monitoring to be super careful. Planned to cancel the cycle if we got more than one egg. Even so, DH was so freaked out that we'd have more than one. I think he watched a few minutes of the John and Kate show and it scarred him. The midwife was sure it was only one at my 10wk visit, but he was still worried until I had a 20wk u/s. I'm going to laugh so hard if more than one pops out.

And fyi, it's not IUI that would cause HOM either. Some people do IUI because of a male factor, but have a perfectly normal cycle and produce one egg. They might do a trigger shot so they can time the IUI better, but that doesn't make more eggs, just releases it at the best time. It's those injectables that'll get you.

Out of curiosity... For those against IF treatments, what do you think about a woman getting treatment for a hormonal imbalance that doesn't cause any problems for her physically other than lack of a cycle? I don't ovulate, but I assume taking clomid after every period would create a cycle if I wanted one. That wouldn't technically be infertility treatment but a hormone imbalance treatment. IF usually has a medical cause behind it. Is that ok?


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## mamamolly1 (Oct 17, 2008)

The reduction question is so tricky-- because it's not just about what it would be like to have 6 babies-- it's whether having those 6 babies (rather than reducing) endangers them all. Even with *just* triplets, there's a 25% chance of spontaneously losing all 3 of them midway through the pregnancy (vs. a 5% chance of losing all 3 if you reduce down to two). I can't even imagine what the numbers/odds must be for a sextuplet pregnancy. Luckily it's rare, but from what I understand the majority of people who choose to keep "all" of the babies in such very-high order multiples actually lose all of them as a result.

I'm very grateful that this is a choice I haven't had to make.

Like dachshund, I cannot ovulate on my own due to hypothalamus problems, so never would have gotten pregnant (currently with twins) without a lot of help.


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamamolly1* 
The reduction question is so tricky-- because it's not just about what it would be like to have 6 babies-- it's whether having those 6 babies (rather than reducing) endangers them all.

With out a doubt it does and it's a risk to the mother's life as well. I have three other children that need their mother very much and I couldn't personally take that risk. I doubt thankgoodness I'll ever be in that situation and have to make that tough choice.


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## Cherry Alive (Mar 11, 2007)

Honestly, I wouldn't choose a fertility treatment that could result in six children in the first place. It sounds pretty expensive to begin with, and would be even more so if I ended up with 4-5 more kids than planned. I'd sooner adopt.

If I became pregnant (naturally) with 6 kids, I'd probably make the very painful decision to reduce down to twins. It'd be one of the few times I'd ever think of doing something like that, but I'd consider it a huge medical risk.

Of course, it's really difficult to answer these questions. Until you are actually in those shoes, you probably have no idea what you'd do.


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

I ever became pregnant with high-order multiples, I would selectively reduce to twins. While I love John and Kate Plus 8, and I've seen a lot of healthy, happy kids from multiple pregnancies.. there are a lot of sad stories out there. Anything over two would be too risky for both me and babies. It would be very hard and sad to do so, of course, but I doubt it will ever happen..

I can't imagine having two babies at once, much less 3 or more. I hope I never have twins!

I think most of the multiple pregnancies today are the result of fertility treatments, but they did happen before any of that was invented. And still do - quite common in some areas of Africa, especially. I heard of one woman who has had 7 out of her nine pregnancies multiple - twins, triplets, and quads. Sadly she didn't have access to good medical care, and most of the babies died.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

The only thing they did to "put themselves in that position" was have sex.
Well sheesh, they should have known better.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meowee* 
Would you breastfeed? Cosleep? Do scheduled naps? Scheduled meals? What would you be able to maintain and what would you sacrifice?

Just touching on the breastfeeding aspect! I only make milk, at all, in my left breast...that has never been an issue, I even nursed both Kincaid and Janelle for almost 2 years... but that's 2 kids! Assuming I could even make enough milk for 6 (I really have no clue!), I just can't even imagine how much time it would take to breastfeed 6 babies exclusively one at a time... Janelle and Travis each nursed for at least 30 minutes at a time every 2-3 hours (after the nursing constantly newborn stage was past)... so I would literally have to breast feed constantly all day every day, and it would be very likely one or more kid would have to wait a full hour before they got fed...and who knows where I'd fit in pumping for a possible bottle if they got hungry again before I had finished feeding their siblings! Just, wow...I don't think I could do it!

I do think we would co-sleep, at least, for awhile...3 babies could easily fit in an arms reach co-sleeper, or a side carred crib, so 2 side carred cribs, each with 3 babies in it, then as needed each dh and could hold one...

I'd guess you'd either have to hire a house keeper or do scheduled naps...I mean, if they all napped when they wanted to, which is what Janelle and Travis did (Kincaid, our middle kid, set a VERY rigid schedule from the very begining, and if we didn't follow it, he let us know), you'd always have at least one kid awake...

I'd like to say I'd never let them CIO still, but I'm not sure with 2 parents and only 2 arms a piece, that would even be possible, and obviously, dh would have to return to work!

Meals are already scheduled here...we went through nearly 3 years of feeding therapy to get Kincaid to eat at all, and scheduled meal times are a big part of that...him eating is way more important (he was literally days away from a feeding tube, and needed rehydrated more than once due to not eating at ALL)! So that wouldn't change at all.

I am 100% certain I still would never use physical discipline of any sort...

But, more so than all of this, I wouldn't even be able to carry twins, I'm on bedrest right now at 14 weeks due to my cervyx funneling, and it's only one baby... I would never do fertility treatments at all, but if naturally I ended up pregnant with high order multiples, we'd either end up losing them all before viability due to pre term labor, or we would have to selectively reduce (which I'm not sure I agree with, it would be a hard decision to make, for sure).


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## chipper26 (Sep 4, 2008)

I wouldn't have sextuplets, but I think the same problems you are describing can arise with triplets or even twins.


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

I would be very hard pressed not to drink myself into oblivion. I have 2 kids, a 5.5 y/o and an 18 month old and I am already crazy.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

I couldn't reduce. Other than that I really can't say I wouldn't even begin to pretend to know what having a large number of multiples means I'd love to say I'd at least partly breastfeed ect but honestly I don't know.

Deanna


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## kayleesmom (Dec 16, 2004)

omg i cant even fathom having that many.







:


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

I think I would reduce and then be haunted for the rest of my life.


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## Masel (Apr 14, 2008)

What a fascinating thread. I hadn't realized at first that it had started over a year ago as it seemed like one of those "Did I start that thread in my sleep" things.

My DH and started TTC over 10 years ago. We have one wonderful daughter through adoption (Her birth mother is a force of nature; I have trouble imagining anyone coercing her to do anything.) We are currently undergoing fertility treatment with clomid and IUI. I personally do not plan to ever do IVF or injectables because of some family history.
We have discussed multiples. Almost a year ago a friend miscarried triplets so the dangers of multiples are not a distant imaginary thing to us. I don't think I could selectively reduce. It would be very difficult for my DH to contemplate that.

What would I do if I found myself with 6 babies.
Between friends and church I'd recruit lots of volunteers to just hold a baby.
I would try to like heck to get them breastmilk for as long as possible. I had a difficult struggle with trying to lactate for my daughter and I know that some of the things I tried had a side effect of depression. If I were not producing enough milk I would not let myself get that far gone. I can't imagine how icky it would get with PPD and even less sleep. I would certainly love to have wetnurses if I could find any to help. That would be incredible.
Diaper service!!!!!!
I'd build a nest where everything was within arm's reach so we could cuddle.
I would so do a commercial for a company who would give me a babyproof wireless device so that I could visit MDC from my nest and not feel so disconnected from the world. Bonus if it take video and photos as well. I'd hang it from the ceiling on a stretchy cord so that it doesn't get lost in the fray. (Leave it to a geeky momma to have THIS part so well though out.)
I'm not sure what I would do if TLC came knocking. I guess I'd do a one off special but not a series. My DH and I probably aren't cute enough for that. I'd make a point of giving my older DD gum on camera.
We've discussed adopting a sibling group too. We certainly wouldn't be approved for 6 in our current home. It just seems to wrong to break up sibling groups but that's another thread.
In any case I'd make note of everyone who says "Let me know if you need anything" and not feel at all weird for taking them up on that.


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## tessa67 (Jul 27, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red_Lil_Mamma* 
Honestly, I wouldn't choose a fertility treatment that could result in six children in the first place. It sounds pretty expensive to begin with, and would be even more so if I ended up with 4-5 more kids than planned. I'd sooner adopt.

If I became pregnant (naturally) with 6 kids, I'd probably make the very painful decision to reduce down to twins. It'd be one of the few times I'd ever think of doing something like that, but I'd consider it a huge medical risk.

Of course, it's really difficult to answer these questions. Until you are actually in those shoes, you probably have no idea what you'd do.

IUI only costs about $500.


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## sahm629 (May 19, 2008)

When the children got older, like around 2 or so, I would try to have one-on-one mommy time with them - like take them to get an ice cream or to the playground.

Probably is, my hubby would be stuck with the rest of them at home!


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessa67* 
IUI only costs about $500.

IUI itself just means taking a tube and shooting the sperm directly into the uterus. It is used for any number of reasons, some simply having to do with the quality of a woman's vaginal secretions during ovulation.

IUI itself doesn't carry an increased chance of multiples, as far as I have read. Now of course, depending on the reason someone is doing IUI in the first place, she might also be taking fertility meds, of which there are a wide variety, with varying chances of multiples. You can't simply lump all fertility meds into one category. (The meds, by the way, if used will increase the total cost of the IUI because they themselves have a cost.)

Usually when someone is talking about doing a fertility treatment with an increased "risk" of multiples, they are referring to certain injectible medications (some of which can carry an increased chance of multiples, assuming they are particularly successful for the particular patient, but most often multiples=twins in those cases).

IVF is also usually what people are thinking of when they think of an increased chance of multiples. IVF is not to be confused with IUI. It is *very* expensive, sometimes $10,000 for just one try. In the U.S. anyway, only in a few states do insurance companies typically cover it, so many folks have to pay out of pocket somehow. IVF can result in multiples, often more than just twins, *but* keep in mind that it has to be successful first. A woman who goes in for IVF has probably tried many other things, including various fertility meds, without luck. She is still facing some hard odds with IVF. Often IVF cycles will be repeatedly canceled due to continued ineffectiveness of the meds she is on. I'm sure if you (not anyone specifically, but the general "you") haven't been there (I have been treated for infertility, but stopped just short of IVF for now because my kids came to me another way), you can only begin to imagine the careful calculation of risks vs. benefits that a woman does with every little decision in the process. On top of that, it is probably very hard to imagine how after waiting *years* to get pregnant, with heartbreak after heartbreak after heartbreak, having two or three at once (especially if it means never having to face trying to get pregnant again) starts to sound better and better.


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