# Daughter's Sudden Frequent Bed-Wetting



## yaM yaM (Nov 9, 2003)

:

My 8 1/2 year-old daughter is frequently wetting the bed, all of a sudden! Nothing's changed in her life. Louise Hay says, in her glossary of emotional sources for bodily expressions, that this is caused by fear of a parent. Well, neither myself nor my husband has changed their parenting style and my daughter is extremely well-adjusted, sociable, out-going, first-born, resiliant, positive-thinking, creative, artistic and energetic. Her diet is all organic and vegan. This has been going on for a few months now, and she pees a little bit before waking up, realizing what's happened, and going to the potty to finish peeing. It happens about an average of 2/3 times per week! She was potty self-trained at 20 months, in the daytime, and 3 1/2 at night. By the way, she has no learning challenges or any other challenges, other than being very stubborn and strong-willed (and the problems created by those behaviors!) and dramatic (typical girl/ emotional stuff).

What is going on?

Has anyone else experienced this?!


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## shanetedissac (Apr 26, 2002)

Could it be a growth spurt?


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## yaM yaM (Nov 9, 2003)

Can growth spurts last for three months?!


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## MammaJill (Oct 17, 2003)

Have you had her checked out by her doctor (rule out UTI or something like that)? I used to do that as a child too. I think I would sleep so deeply I did not realize I needed to go. Anything else significant happen in her life lately (move, new school, whatever)? I hope it gets better soon. I remember how it felt...not fun.


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## shanetedissac (Apr 26, 2002)

Not sure how long a growth sput lasts. My thought was that she had grown quicker than her bladder grew. So producing more urine for a smaller bladder. What does her ped or other provider say? How does your daughter feel about it?


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## yaM yaM (Nov 9, 2003)

I think it IS about her sleeping so deeply that she doesn't even realize what's happening until it's too late. It's interesting... Kind of a long story..

She's a very energetic child who's mind is very active. She can be anxious, at times, too. Often at night,when trying to fall asleep, her mind will start running off on these tangents about 'what-ifs' about all sorts of things with a common theme of fear. What USED to happen is that I would make the mistake of putting her to sleep when she wasn't quite tired enough and she would lay there doing this thinking or 'mind-running.' She would literally get up to pee about every FIVE minutes in the time it took for her to relax and before she would fall asleep for the night (that period would last from about 20-60 minutes, varying). I think the frequent peeing thing is definately related to anxiety, because she only does this at bedtime and no other time during the day. A little bit more backup info: she slept in our family bed until age seven; she now sleeps in a bed right next to our family bed. She has no sweets past midday, takes a bath at night, is read to, tucked in, sang to, massaged, has essential oils on her pillow and I play soft music as she's trying to fall asleep. Sometimes she'll read for a few minutes before turning off the flashlight (that's only recently, as she just learned to read in the last eight months -- she's in a Waldorf school). She would then proceed to wake up in the middle of the night, because of going to sleep when she wasn't quite tired enough, and have these scary thoughts/ mind-running sessions again, by herself (being the only one awake) in the dark (we have many night lights, but not in the bedroom). Then she would wake me up and ask me to snuggle her back to sleep or, worse, STAY UP with her while she couldn't sleep so she wouldn't be the only one awake. I have a just-turned-three-year-old and he just self-weaned not long ago and I've been v-e-r-y sleep deprived for this full eight-and-a-half years!
Hence -- I started putting her to sleep later, and it seemed to solve a lot of this having-trouble-falling-asleep/waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night stuff. Now she's too tired to think and make herself scared! BUT SHE PEES IN THE BED!

By the way, she's had no new events happen recently, her life is very stable and structured.
Also, she's done art therapy, both with a professional and at home with me, and we've talked and talked about her feelings and tried literally hundreds of other solutions that I won't bore you with, you get the point.


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## shanetedissac (Apr 26, 2002)

You are so keen into your children







It is wonderful. I know how frustrating this can be for you. Keep observing and loving your child. As it says in your signature...."this too shall pass"

PS. We are in a Waldorf school also. My ds#1 is in his first year of kindergarden and just loves it!







my ds#2 is in playgroup and also just loves it. Ds #3 dosn't show much yet, being he's just a newbie


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## Island Mommy (Mar 26, 2003)

I found your description of your dd very interesting. It sounds so much like me as a child. I too wet my bed, although I think it was when I was younger than your dd. I also had extreme fear and would imagine all sorts of terrible things. It got to the point that when I woke up in the night I would stay awake reading until the sun came up. Somehow I thought that bad things couldn't happen during the day. Of course, I was in my own room (or one I shared with my sister). I used to go sleep in the hallway outside my mom's room...listening to her snore. That would calm me. Or I'd wake her up and tell her I felt sick, even though I was just really scared.

I think my history is why I'm so keen on a family bed with my dd, but hearing your story it seems as though the family bed is not helping your daughter calm her fears.

I don't know how to help you. My mom tells me I had recurring kidney infections and that's why I wet the bed. I recall being in a deep sleep, needing to go to the bathroom, getting up, walking to the bathroom, sitting down, starting to pee.....and then waking up realizing I was still in bed. I was always surprised.

It's good to hear that you are addressing your child's fears and attempting to help her. Unfortunately, my mom did not realize what was going on with me and I was too shy and reticent to tell her. We did not have a real "close" relationship in that I didn't feel I could tell her everything.


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## julie128 (Jan 9, 2003)

Try having her do kegels and hold her pee for 15 minutes in the day time to stretch her bladder.
The wetness buzzer works really well if the situation isn't resolved soon.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Actually I think it is a good sign that she feels the pee and wakes up. It may have nothing to do with any emotional issues. It may just be that at her age she sleep so soundly she doesn't wake up to a full bladder feeling but thankfully the wetness does wake her. So at least she doesn't wake up in a pool of pee.
Good luck to you and give your daughter a little hug for me. I wet the bed for years and it was horrible!


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## yaM yaM (Nov 9, 2003)

What supportive responses! I should have posted here ages ago..

Island Mommy, yours was so touching, mainly because I felt grateful that I AM able to listen to my daughter, and that she feels safe telling me her feelings -- I do not want to lose that.

However, in a way, she's almost TOO comfortable relying on/ confiding in me (if that is possible/ correctly said) because she honestly thinks I am going to lay there awake with her in the middle of the night so that she won't be the only one awake!

Anyway..
I know the best advice of all is at the bottom of my own posts -- I know if I just be gracefully patient, this will pass.


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## L.J. (Nov 20, 2001)

I've just read a book about allergies that says one of the most common "unknown/undiagnosed" allergies for kids is bedwetting.

Sometimes they eat a food they are allergic to and it actually affects their bladder and it gets swollen & then can't hold as much liquid & they can pee their bed.

I can give you more particulars if you are interested.


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## yaM yaM (Nov 9, 2003)

I'd like to hear more about the book, the allergies involved in bed-wetting, and the title.

Sounds interesting.

Thanks.


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## normee (Aug 22, 2002)

I second the advice for having your daughter see a doctor and ruling out any medical conditions. Our almost 7 year old nephew was just diagnosed with diabetes and bed wetting was the biggest sympton.

-Normee


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

What causes it among the various people in my family (adults or kids)

food allergies/sensitivities
urinary tract infection
stress (such as the days following Sept. 11, or change in family routine, such as new job/school/home/loss of loved one/pet etc., or overscheduling/too much homework/friend moved away etc. etc. etc.)
child has growth spurt and bladder didn't catch up yet

I Love Louise Hay! In my experience it may be anger, not necessarily at you....I would do a lot of listening. It could be something in the family that causes anger, it could be something a friend or teacher did and she doesn't want to bother you with it.....

This too shall pass.


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## yaM yaM (Nov 9, 2003)

Well, I think it's cosmic that you replied to this post at this time, Momtwice, because last pm we had one of our terrible-no-good-very-bad nights. No, she did not wet the bed.. We regressed to the old problem, last pm; the one where she can't sleep and she thinks of every reason she can to get me to wake up and 'help' her.

It all started when she decided she wanted to give it another shot at sleeping in her own room. (She's had her own room for years, but she usually sleeps in another bed that she has in my room, literally on the side of my own bed.) So I put her to sleep in her own room, which went well until about 1 am when she woke up to pee (in the toilet!) Then, when she tried to go back to sleep, she couldn't. She proceeded to go to the bathroom about 3 more times in an hour, and finally brought her dolls and came into my room, where she tried to go to sleep in her bed that's next to mine. We keep water on the bedside table in both rooms, and there are night lights literally all over the house, except in my room. She has her own flashlight that she keeps under her pillow in case she wants to read in the middle of the night if she can't sleep. I have tried to set everything up so that there are as few reasons as possible for her to have to wake me up with her nighttime needs. (I am not so graceful about it after all these years.. I have some good nights, some not-so-good..) Also, the reason her bed in my room is right next to mine is so that she can be close to me if she's feeling scared. Well, it still didn't work. She woke me up to tell me that the batteries died in her flashlight; I said, "go in your room and read and then come back here when you're ready to sleep" (I'm not changing batteries in the middle of the night). Then she wakes me up about 4-6 times (It's all a blur...) to tell me that she can't sleep and/or that she's feeling scared. This is the part that drives me nuts, because we've talked and talked and done professional art therapy, etc. to work through these fears. She drinks cammomile tea during the day, watches no TV, and eats no sweets past about 3pm every day. I tell her that all ANY parent can do when their child feels scared at night is to bring them into their room/ bed. I told her I do not know any mothers who are willing to stay awake with their (8-year-old) child in the middle of the night so that they can have company when they are scared and can't sleep, no matter how much the mother loves the child. Do any of you all do that??!

And by the way.. Her fears are about real concerns: she's not scared of monsters, etc. She's scared that a robber will come into the house and steal her or her little brother. We have never (knock-on-wood) had any encounters with criminals (!) and my husband and I have even talked with her at great lengths about a) how secure our home is, b)what mommy and daddy would do to anyone who even came close to trying to come into our home uninvited, and c)that there are angels surrounding her, and all of us, protecting us all the time.

Needless to say,
I feel like a raging lunatic today from major sleep-deprivation. And today, of all days, after this insane ordeal, I had planned for months to take her to see the Broadway musical of The Sound of Music. I've had the tickets for over a month, so we are going. I feel like I'm wrapped in plastic and drugged! And I've already blown it this morning by giving her the 'lecture' about how 'you may not wake me up in the middle of the pm unless a) there's an emergency or b) you're in pain, (like growing pains, etc.) If you're scared, you may come sleep in your bed that is right next to mommy's,' etc. etc....

Help..


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