# Bad Behaviour :(



## saa (Jan 28, 2016)

My child (8 year old ..almost 9) has been misbehaving a lot on school (been getting worse) and as at home the teachers have brought the following to my attention :
Easily Distracted  
Distracts other kids  
Makes funny remarks to get other kids to laugh 
Does not read/follow instructions  
Answers back and argues   

I spoke to the teacher and offered to create a 'behaviour chart' to help my child improve his behaviour.
It is not about chores at all.
It for a day-to-day focus on behaviour.
It could lead to rewards or punishments (revoked entitlements).
Looking for ideas if all you hard-working mommies have put together a chart or plans.

Thanks a lot in Advance
- Golsa


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

My son's school uses a "traffic light" approach that seems to be very successful with most of the kids. Everyone starts the day with a green light. The rules are clearly posted. If you break a rule, the teacher changes your light to yellow (takes the green circle off and replaces it with a yellow one from the bin--they attach with velcro) and it stays there until you do a good deed or have behaved well for about an hour, at which point you go back to green. If you break a rule when you're already on yellow, the teacher changes your light to red and gives you a consequence from a clearly posted list. When you are using good behavior again, you go back to green. Teachers clearly tell kids why lights are changing: "Joey, you are arguing with instructions. Yellow light." "Ethan, you were so quiet in line! Green light."

I think this system is easy to understand and thus feels Fair to the kids. But it's being applied to all of them. Is your son's teacher willing to do something like this with all the students?

If you are making a chart that you'll use at home to track school behavior, it could be as simple as just giving a sticker for each "good day." Maybe you have a few different rows for the behaviors you've listed, and then when you get the teacher's report on the day, you put a sticker in each row where he did well. Over time this will give him a visual representation of his progress.

Rather than punishments, I'd focus on rewards, but keep them small. If he had a green light all day at school, he gets one extra bedtime story--something like that. If it's a sticker chart, set up a reward for filling a row of stickers. 

If you feel that he has "entitlements" that he doesn't deserve because he's behaving poorly, especially if they might be contributing to his behavior (for example, my son tends to act entitled to as much screen-time as he can get, and his behavior deteriorates noticeably after he's spent a long time on the computer or TV), establish new rules about what is allowed on a daily basis, and consider using these activities as rewards--for example, "When you fill a row of stickers, you can choose a movie for us to watch as a family."


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## saa (Jan 28, 2016)

EnviroBecca said:


> My son's school uses a "traffic light" approach that seems to be very successful with most of the kids. Everyone starts the day with a green light. The rules are clearly posted. If you break a rule, the teacher changes your light to yellow (takes the green circle off and replaces it with a yellow one from the bin--they attach with velcro) and it stays there until you do a good deed or have behaved well for about an hour, at which point you go back to green. If you break a rule when you're already on yellow, the teacher changes your light to red and gives you a consequence from a clearly posted list. When you are using good behavior again, you go back to green. Teachers clearly tell kids why lights are changing: "Joey, you are arguing with instructions. Yellow light." "Ethan, you were so quiet in line! Green light."
> 
> I think this system is easy to understand and thus feels Fair to the kids. But it's being applied to all of them. Is your son's teacher willing to do something like this with all the students?
> 
> ...


Thank you for your detailed response EnviroBecca,
His previous class teacher did use a system similar to the 'traffic light'. It did help ! 
But i am certainly gonna do the daily chart focusing on my child's behavior. I agree this will definitely keep things in perspective and i should follow up more with rewards than punishments and scolding (which is normally the case). 
Now to think of 'rewards' worth working hard for  
- Saa


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## newmamalizzy (Jul 23, 2010)

From what I've read and in our experience we've had success focusing on a specific behavior for the chart and making sure it moves quickly towards the small reward, at least at first. We added an element by making the little chart into "bucks" that she could use like currency. She could save them up for a bigger reward or spend it right away.


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## muddie (Nov 10, 2014)

Little grab bags with hidden treasures make good rewards.


I don't think you should use punishment in connection with reward charts. I second EnviroBecca on that one.


Rely as much as possible on social rewards to ramp up good behaviors. React immediately with positive attention, say what you saw that was good and include positive touch and enthusiasm. Do this even if you are also using reward charts. Fade the reward charts out after a while, then fade the social rewards to occasional. This way you don't rely more than necessary on tangible rewards. Reward charts are good for getting a behavior going if it's happening rarely so you don't get much of a chance to reward it with positive attention. Even for mundane tasks like taking our the trash, say good things about being responsible, dependable, helping out the family even if they get something tangible for doing it.


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