# 15 m.o. throwing food - how do I handle it???



## redfern (Jun 4, 2007)

DS is 15 months and has gone from eating everything I offered to eating what seems like very little. I know this is pretty normal and I'm trying not to make a big deal of it. I offer a few things, one at a time and in small amounts. I used to offer more at once (like say 1/4 of a pear sliced in sticks) but typically he would only have a bite or two and then push it all of his highchair tray onto the floor. So, Im down to one pear stick at a time. The throwing/pushing food thing isn't getting any better though. Now when he asks for a drink and I pass him his juice he takes a sip and throws it immediately after. Meals are super messy! The mess is one thing but I am worried about the behaviour too. Any advice on how to curb it? I've tried telling him sternly to stop (using the stop sign which he understands perfectly) and that I don't like when he throws his food because it makes a big mess for me to clean up. Didn't seem to make much of an impact so tonight I raised my voice and sternly told him to stop throwing and he started crying. I felt awful! Help!


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## oldermom (Jan 6, 2007)

I can't give any advice, but I can give sympathy because my 18 m.o. is doing the same thing, and I was about to post a similar question. Eagerly looking forward to helful input!

Oldermom to Annika (11/3/03) and Jackson (6/27/06)


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

It sounds like you're already doing all the right things- now you just need to wait for the baby to outgrow this phase. I promise you, it won't last forever!!!

I personally don't think it's a bad thing for kids to see their parents get frustrated with their behavior at times- it helps them to learn that their actions DO affect other people.


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## yoginisarah (Dec 20, 2007)

I usually say "Oliver, that's not nice" and I think he recognizes the tone versus my usual voice. Also, if he starts doing it repeatedly, I'll usually ask him if he's "all done" because he knows that sign and has usually just gotten bored with sitting in his high chair. I'll let him get down and maybe 10-15 minutes later ask if he wants food or a snack. If he says yes, then we'll start again. But, he's normally a really good eater, just starts getting hyper at the end of a meal and thinks its funny to throw things (which, in a way, it really is







).


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## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

My 15 month old does this too. I let the dogs in as soon as mealtime's over.


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## IdahoMom (Nov 8, 2005)

I think that a toddler's natural eating habit is grazing through the day. Sitting through a meal is too hard when there is so much to do! It's not easy, though. It seems like when my babes are in that stage, I spend all day chasing them with food and offering bites!


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Honestly, this was one of my "robomommy" moments. I found the "bigger" (read: sterner, more serious) reaction I gave, the more joy they got out of flinging stuff. SO I went for monotone, matter of fact, neutral - almost bored - "food stays on the table - if you're done eating, please say all done" every time. broken record. And only gave about 2 bites of food on their tray or table at a time. The less reaction I gave, the less fun it was, so they stopped it pretty quickly. I think he's too young right now to get into the mess factor and that it involves more work for you - that's more of a 2-yr-old+ kind of addition. Right now the goal is to make it not worth his while (less reaction)

Plus, remember, gravity is FASCINATING!!!! And getting a 'funny' face out of a parent, a 'silly' voice (that's a much different look and tone than your normal voice) is also interesting to them!


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## wombjuice (Feb 22, 2007)

This might not be practical depending on where you live (and how cold it is outside right now!), but is it possible to have one meal a day outside in the back yard? That way, your DS can eat his fill of his food, and still have fun with throwing it if he wants. This will teach him that it's ok to throw things outside. If you're having a meal inside, and he starts throwing food, you can ask him if he's still hungry, and if he's not, ask him if he wants to go outside to throw his food. He will soon understand that it's not ok to throw stuff in the house, but that he's more than welcome to burn up his energy by throwing stuff outside!









This has the added benefit of exercise and fresh air, too!









Of course, I live in Florida where it's sunny and warm out right now. If you're in an area covered by six feet of snow, this probably won't work for you, lol.









*ETA:* Haha! I just saw you're in Canada! So yeah...this idea might have to wait til summer, and by that time, he'll probably have outgrown this, lol. But I hope it still helps a little!


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## MamaB2C (Nov 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SublimeBirthGirl* 
I let the dogs in as soon as mealtime's over.

That was how we handled it. It's a phase, she will move on to something else equally as boggling and frustrating very soon







. Hang in there Mama.


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## redfern (Jun 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Honestly, this was one of my "robomommy" moments. I found the "bigger" (read: sterner, more serious) reaction I gave, the more joy they got out of flinging stuff. SO I went for monotone, matter of fact, neutral - almost bored - "food stays on the table - if you're done eating, please say all done" every time. broken record. And only gave about 2 bites of food on their tray or table at a time. The less reaction I gave, the less fun it was, so they stopped it pretty quickly. I think he's too young right now to get into the mess factor and that it involves more work for you - that's more of a 2-yr-old+ kind of addition. Right now the goal is to make it not worth his while (less reaction)

Plus, remember, gravity is FASCINATING!!!! And getting a 'funny' face out of a parent, a 'silly' voice (that's a much different look and tone than your normal voice) is also interesting to them!

Good point!! I'm going to try that. Boring and monotone. Maybe even turn my attention back to my meal rather than him and his. Yah, I definitely found only one or two bites at a time helps. Thanks for the encouragement!


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## redfern (Jun 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feminine_earth* 
This might not be practical depending on where you live (and how cold it is outside right now!), but is it possible to have one meal a day outside in the back yard? That way, your DS can eat his fill of his food, and still have fun with throwing it if he wants. This will teach him that it's ok to throw things outside. If you're having a meal inside, and he starts throwing food, you can ask him if he's still hungry, and if he's not, ask him if he wants to go outside to throw his food. He will soon understand that it's not ok to throw stuff in the house, but that he's more than welcome to burn up his energy by throwing stuff outside!









This has the added benefit of exercise and fresh air, too!









Of course, I live in Florida where it's sunny and warm out right now. If you're in an area covered by six feet of snow, this probably won't work for you, lol.









*ETA:* Haha! I just saw you're in Canada! So yeah...this idea might have to wait til summer, and by that time, he'll probably have outgrown this, lol. But I hope it still helps a little!

















: Haha Nope, we won't be eating outside until May or June. Great idea though!


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## purple_kangaroo (Feb 20, 2006)

We had a highchair with cupholders and other little receptacles in it, and that was a lifesaver. I found that the kids didn't want the food on the floor so much as they wanted it out of their sight. So I just taught them to put what they didn't want into the cupholders in the high chair tray instead.

They couldn't see it there and it wasn't on the floor, so we were both happy.







Worked with all 3 of mine. If you don't have a setup like that, maybe you could try designating an opaque container to put unwanted food into?

Also, when my kids throw food on the floor they clean it up, or "help" clean it up, depending on the age of the child.


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## Erinz (Mar 1, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
Plus, remember, gravity is FASCINATING!!!!


And they are such little mad scientists exploring and finding new and fascinating things ALL THE TIME!

I have found that putting a variety of food on a "grown up" plate on a step stool near where my 18 month old is playing has been working really well. Almost as if HE wants more say as to what goes in his mouth. He takes a bite, goes about his business, comes back and picks up something else.

Also, are you offering the use of a fork/spoon? About your LO's age our son showed heavy interest in using the same utensils we were. If I loaded up a fork and had it waiting for him he would (eventually) pick it up and eat it.

Still sometimes he is just DONE, but still wants to "taste" so he'll put food in and spit it out. I alwayst think WOW he knows not to swallow it, wish I could remember that sometimes! HAHA!!!







Especially after a big holiday meal!!


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## Erinz (Mar 1, 2006)

One more thing I would add is trying meals outside of his "baby" chair? We never had a highchair ourselves, but I have a friend that said it was like a light switch with her daughter not wanting to be in the highchair anymore... It felt too baby-ish to her and TOO CONFINED. She just didn't have the words to express it yet!!


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## herilane (Jul 1, 2007)

When food and drink get thrown down from the table, that means that the meal is over. Pretty natural consequence in my opinion. If you don't want to eat food, you don't get food.


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## maygee (Dec 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *herilane* 
When food and drink get thrown down from the table, that means that the meal is over. Pretty natural consequence in my opinion. If you don't want to eat food, you don't get food.

Yay! Then you can spank them and give them a time out!!! Maybe lock them in a closet? That'll teach em'!!! So what if they're literally infants and unable to grasp that logic?


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## paula444four (Dec 29, 2006)

I appreciate this thread because our 18 month old is into it....and it is becoming a problem. For instance...its really not an issue at home where the dogs can clean up for us...but when we are at a restaurant or visiting friends...its actually embarrassing. We are going to try the "robomommy" advice. Parental upset is a reward. Fingers crossed it works at least a little!

Thanks


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## msiddiqi (Apr 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
It sounds like you're already doing all the right things- now you just need to wait for the baby to outgrow this phase. I promise you, it won't last forever!!!

I personally don't think it's a bad thing for kids to see their parents get frustrated with their behavior at times- it helps them to learn that their actions DO affect other people.









:
I went through the same thing with DS for what felt like forever... now at 2.5 yo I barely remember it.
And I also agree that kids should know sometimes that parents get frustrated etc... of course expressed in a healthy way but expressed nonetheless.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maygee* 
Yay! Then you can spank them and give them a time out!!! Maybe lock them in a closet? That'll teach em'!!! So what if they're literally infants and unable to grasp that logic?

Throwing food almost universally is the way toddlers say they are done. Taking away food from someone who is finished with it is not a punishment, it's courteous.

Does he know the sign for "all done"? Try teaching him that. My friend's son would sign "all done" at that age, and it would give her a split second to grab the food away before he emphasized the point by throwing it.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

We got to the point with our 22 mo that we HAD to start taking food away when he was done. We typically graze the majority of the day, with breakfast and lunch eaten pretty much anywhere in the kitchen or living room, but I've always felt dinner time to be important family time. Unfortunately, my 3.75 yo dd and 12 yo ds would laugh hysterically when my littlest would throw it. Not his fault, but after months of finding goop EVERYWHERE, we started getting him down as soon as he threw his first food. No reaction from us other than "oh, you're throwing food, you must be done." 99% of the time he was done, and the other 1% he would let us know he was still hungry and we would put him back in his highchair with the same food. He quit throwing very quickly.

By the way, we don't spank or do timeouts, and I don't view this as a form of "punishment". Just a natural consequence.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Pick it up and throw it in the trash, let the dog eat it, let their 2 year old brother eat it (if you're at my house LOL), give it back and see if they still want it, there's really lots of ways to handle it. My 17 month old LOVES to throw food. Most of the time he does it because he thinks its funny, and we had to learn to ignore it and not respond with "Henri don't throw food!" Because if we responded at all, he would squeal and throw more! I might have a mess to clean up if I just sit there and turn my head, but its less of a mess than it would be if I kept telling him to stop throwing his food. That and it happens so frequently I wasn't about to have my own meal disrupted by having to pick up his off the floor. I have noticed that Henri is growing tired of his high chair, and I think he's ready to move to the booster chair and sit at the table with us. He will get fussy and push his feet against the tray, thankfully he's good with telling us what he wants and will raise his arms and say 'all done" if he's really all done eating. It does get easier when they can communicate their needs more. I second the suggestion of teaching your baby how to sign or say "all done" and things related to mealtime.


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## auntiehallie (Apr 25, 2005)

this is tough, because it is so irritating to think about cleaning up all that sticky food. (and not all my nanny families had dogs - though that's a useful tool, too.) what i mean is, it's hard to get a lid on *my own* reaction, so that it does not become a distraction from what i'm trying to show, which is what we DO with our food, as opposed to what i DO NOT want.

it's taken many rounds, and my observation is that very small children do not understand the concept of negatives, applied to action. tiny kids don't have the imagination to fill in the blanks after something is ruled out. if you say to an adult, 'don't go in that room', the adult mind has some work to do - 'if i can't go in that room, that means i can go into any of these other rooms', for instance. kids this age are only just learning english anyway, and they aren't able to take it that far from what was said. so if you want them to keep food on the table, you have say that. when instead you focus on the throwing, that is what will happen. 'don't throw' translates to 'throw', because the negative isn't understood, they aren't able to connect the dots and turn that into, 'keep it on the tray'. 'keep food here (pointing)' is clearer, and what you want, anyway, right? say what you mean, focus on what you want, forget what you don't want.

sometimes (and especially when i'm annoyed with the prospect of sticky cleaning chores) i have a hard time controlling my tone. what tends to work best then is just to sit right with him (with my own food - meals are a social activity) and correct gently with my hands. he bangs his cup, i very gently direct it back to the table or gently remove it and put it out of reach. he starts in with the windshield-wiper arms on the tray, i move things out of his way so they don't fall to the floor, and then go back to one thing at a time.

sometimes it's frustration with a new skill, too - he can manage a spoon for a while, but eventually he's just too hungry and too annoyed to go on with it. i take the spoon and shovel it in.

i'm pretty free with kids exploring and getting messy when it's appropriate, but not with food. that's where i draw the line. food draws vermin, it makes disgusting messes for me to clean, and i'm not having it. if he wants to shove things around and explore, he's got a sandbox.


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## lilgsmommy (Jun 21, 2004)

The twins did the food throwing thing for a few weeks.....drove me batty!

We taught them the all done sign....but even then, they still threw the food before they told us they were done.

We have since taught them to point to the trash can when they are done eating, and we set it in between thier chairs and they throw thier food away. We have beem teaching them to clean up after themselves for months now...and meal time was one of the last places for cleanup we needed to work on. They also know that if they throw food on the floor, they need to clean it up. Once down from thier chairs, without us even asking them, they pick up the food they threw and toss it in the trash...they have also gotton very good about putting plates and forks in the sink when they are done too. We dont force them to do this.....we dont get mad if they dont, but we do try to get them to help out, and to understand that when messes are made or when you are done with something, you need to clean it up.


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## garretsmommy (Jan 21, 2007)

Just wanting to subscribe to this thread- lots of good answers to help with my little 14 month food thrower


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## Hoffa (Apr 26, 2007)

My 14 month old also has been throwing food. I don't think that it is always b/c he is done. Sometimes he throws it before eating anything. It is a new skill to them to throw things and they enjoy it. However I am not as amused. Sometimes I find that it helps if I sit my son on my lap and feed him that way. I have noticed that he is into chairs more so maybe that is also a factor. He grazes all day and I do worry if he is eating enough. I agree that dinner time should be a time that we all sit down together. So I have been sitting him down and letting him run off a little sooner. He usually comes back to "share" some of our food. I hope this is helpful. Hopefully this amusement will be replaced soon with another. But with that said at that point we might have preferred the food throwing depending.


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## GradysMom (Jan 7, 2007)

I think it is ok to tell them as calmly as you can that you are disappointged about the food going all over... but as for my ds 17 mo that hasn't changed the behavior. We are trying to ignore it here and address it some too... which I find hard to do since the dog is just getting lots of organic crakers and raisins... not a cheap lesson

the other day I was wondering what kind of conflict this totally normal behavior must have caused during the great depression...


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

sometimes i think that expecting a young toddler to sit confined in a high chair to eat is a really high expectation. at home, we started eating at dd's level a lot more, so we sat on the floor or on the couch with food on the coffee table. she came and went as she pleased and ate what she wanted when she wanted. we also left out a grazing tray (muffin pan) with various snacks, so she didn't really eat that many 'meals'. imo that's a more natural way for active toddlers (who love to move and who naturally have shorter attention spans) to eat. there is a time and place for teaching table manners and it isn't when they're 16 months old. i was (and still am, dd is 26 months old) pretty 'loose' about food, how much she ate, and how she ate it and looking back to the early toddler days i think i was still too controlling about it, believe it or not. there are rampant eating disorders from dh's side of the family thus our increased awareness about food-control-discipline issues.

when we eat out at a restaurant, we have always offered her a small plate of what we were eating, enough for a bite or two but not enough that would make a huge mess if and when she decided to experiment with gravity. they do make portable and/or disposable mats if the mess embarrasses you that much. we take dd out a lot and had always offered to help clean up, and across the board, the waitstaff has never said anything about the mess, and they usually insist that they take care of it. and we've taken her to some pretty fancy places.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maygee* 
Yay! Then you can spank them and give them a time out!!! Maybe lock them in a closet? That'll teach em'!!! So what if they're literally infants and unable to grasp that logic?

***(sarcastically)You are so funny***

I think taking the baby down as a way to say mealtime is over is a great idea. Each of us parents differently and what keeps us sane and keeps us from freaking out is a good thing. Take him down if you don't like the mess. If you don't mind the mess then let him make it.

The child will be fine. If he doesn't get to make a huge mess at dinnertime I'm sure he'll still develop fine. I know babies who don't crawl, even though everyone now believes it is necessary for development, but what can a parent do, make him crawl! They still walk at 1 and are smart and beautiful.


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