# gift for someone who lost their baby



## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

i just found out a friend of mine lost herbaby..she was 6 months along in her pregnancy..

the details are sketchy..she had bleeding, they had to induce cuz she wasnt contracting, dr said the baby died a couple weeks previous to te induction....

anyway it was a boy..i feel so sad for her..she lives a few hours away but i just saw her a few days ago and she asked me to get her guacamole doritos she was craving since i live closer to the states..









i want to get her a gift..but really what do i get someone that lost thier child..what can i send besides prayers and love?

any ideas?


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Are you crafty? How about making a memory box for her, something for her to keep keepsakes of her son in.

Or how about one of those little crystal bottles for keeping tears in? Cant think of what they are called? They been around for years. Though maybe that sounds kinda funny keeping a bottle of tears







or maybe not.


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## gossamer (Feb 28, 2002)

Maybe a stuffed animal she could hold or a blanket she could wrap up in. Bath salts for pampering herself. A plant she can tend to. A special blank journal so she can write down her thoughts. A scrapbook so she can scrap the whole event. A donation to a charity in her son's name if he was named. One of my fears was that my daughter would be easily forgotten because she did not survive for more than an hour, so any way you can think to honor her son and keep him alive will be very meaningful I think. One of the most precious things you can give is your time. Sit with her, let her cry, ask her questions about her pregnancy, let her retell her story of what happened. Encourage her to go to grief support groups. Research if there is one specific to neonatal loss. These are some of the things that were helpful or I would have wanted after my daughter died in my 6th month of pregnancy. You can even have her e-mail me if she wants someone to talk to.
Gossamer [email protected]


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## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

the donation to charity in his name is an amazing idea..thanks so much gossamer..i really love that along with the memory box and blanket
i wont see her for a couple weeks at least so i'll get some things together in the meantime...

thanks so much


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## gossamer (Feb 28, 2002)

I am so glad I could help.







Gossamer


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## mama2m&m (Nov 19, 2001)

something else to think about is perhaps a birthstone piece of jewelry such as a pin she could wear on her lapel such as an angel, butterfly etc. my baby died in dec. much earlier on than your friend, but i plan to get a pin to wear him close.

i also received a mixed plant from a group of very dear friends and i cherish it as something that's incorporated in our home and that i can tend to and reflect on.

i'm sorry to hear about the death of your friend's baby. my thoughts are with her.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

Another thing that might really help is one of the books on pregnancy loss. It really helped me to read them after I lost my daughter. There is a very good list that Ms. Mom put up in a sticky at the top of this forum. Or you could have a star named for her son. I always thought that was really neat. I also like the idea of a plant to tend to it helps to have something to concentrate your mothering energy on. I would also say the best gift is your support. If you are willing to talk with her about her loss let her know. Especially after the first few weeks the support and cards taper off, but a mother who has lost her child still needs that support. My Reverend sent me a card four weeks after Arawyn passed. It helped to know that he was still thinking of me even though the other sympathy cards had stopped coming.

Jewelry is also helpful as Mama2m&m suggested. Maybe a charm bracelet with a special charm for her son. Or if you could find a baby ring you could send it to her with a gold chain so she could wear it around her neck as a symbol of her baby.

I am sure you will come up with the right thing for your friend. You obviously care about her very much to be asking for help.


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## sun-shine01 (Aug 9, 2002)

This idea just popped into my head - may not be a great one but here it goes --

What about having a star named after her son (if he was named).

Here is a website http://www.starnamer.net/cgi-bin/ppc/google.cgi

I know most people have stars named after others for not so somber reasons but like I said just popped into my head.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

You can also do that at this site.

http://www.starregistry.com

We named a star for my neice when she was stillborn and gave the papers to my BIL and SIL.


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## Mom2baldie (Oct 29, 2002)

this has already been suggested, but after I lost my daughter I recieved a beautiful bracelet with 3 birthstones - June for when I got pregnant, Sept for when I miscarried and March for when I was due. It was ordered from www.cherishedtimesdesigns.com

I really love it since it has so much meaning, so that might be an idea.


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## lestouffer (Jul 2, 2002)

My husband got me a bracelet too (a little closer relationship than you and your friend, but the idea is the same) for our anniversary. It had gold engraved hearts on it, a big one with our anniversary date, 2 middle sized ones with our daughters b'dates on it (I need to get a 3rd for Abigail) and then 2 small ones with our stillborn ( both at 6 months) sons' due dates on them (I would have preferred their birth/death dates but...)

So I concur, jewelry if you feel comfortable that way.
\

and talk to her, it helps so much.........


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

I just lost my son in Dec and I really appreciated that a group of friends got a star named after him on his date of birth from the international star registry. We had the certifcate framed and it's hanging up in the living room. We often look up at the sky to find him/his star and it is very comforting.

Also, I took up knitting which has helped me alot so maybe asking her if she's interested in taking up a craft and getting her the materials might be a good thing.
HTH


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