# Breastfeeding = No Orgasm?



## lookyloo (Nov 29, 2006)

My son is about 5 months old and I still haven't had an orgasm. I usually never had a problem in that department. I asked my doctor at an appt at 3 months postpartum. She said there was nothing physically wrong with me and it was just my hormones. And the big O would come back when I weaned him.

Ugh! Ladies, do I really have to wait that long?


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## dani76 (Mar 24, 2004)

That sounds like crazy advice. No orgasm until you wean? I would have went 3.5 years without an orgasm. I think it might take some extra time and maybe some extra lube, but you can definitely still O when nursing.


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## Girl Named Sandoz (Jul 16, 2002)

Of course you can orgasm when breastfeeding! Your hormones are a bit different so you may be drier and it will need some extra help/ take a bit longer but it just depends. DS is 5 months old and 100% breastfed and I think it was when he was around 12 weeks that I could really enjoy myself again.


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## Sweet Peak (Oct 31, 2008)

I had 3rd degree tears with DS. I feel like I will never O again. My vagina is TOTALLY different...It sort of hurts to have sex, I dont enjoy it at all anymore...sadly.

My babe was 9 lb 2 oz, he was huge, and I am pretty tiny...


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## isabchi (Sep 14, 2006)

Definitely you had lot a big hormones change postpartum. Sure you have back O. and breastfeeding, you and partner,maybe need extra time to get in tune, you have the mayor sexual organ is the brain.


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## Red Pajama (Jun 11, 2007)

Not true for me. Perhaps your doctor is unused to mothers nursing for longer than a few months. It is possible that his advice is coincedentally correct for women who wean early.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Things were never too bad for me after having Lina, but at 7 months things got a lot better. Maybe it'll work that way for you?


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

It did take me a while to get back in the swing of things after giving birth, but the big O is back and we're still nursing at 14 months.

Kegal exercises really helped me. After I started remembering to do those regularly sex started getting good again fairly quickly.


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## Burnindinner (Mar 11, 2008)

I o pretty much every time and actually find it easier than before birth. Are you able to if you stimulate yourself and not during sex?

I agree with isabchi though, your major sex organ is your brain. Are you feeling touched out? Is your partner helping YOU feel nurtured?


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

God no. If anything, it is better ime.


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## Dahlea (May 15, 2008)

You definitely can! And I agree with the PP-it's better than before I had him!


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## Rosemarino (Jan 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sweet Peak* 
I had 3rd degree tears with DS. I feel like I will never O again. My vagina is TOTALLY different...It sort of hurts to have sex, I dont enjoy it at all anymore...sadly.

My babe was 9 lb 2 oz, he was huge, and I am pretty tiny...

I feel this way too.







I don't like it anymore, am never in the mood, and my dh goes too fast







That's because it's a long time between drinks, iykwim.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristyDi* 
It did take me a while to get back in the swing of things after giving birth, but the big O is back and we're still nursing at 14 months.

Kegal exercises really helped me. After I started remembering to do those regularly sex started getting good again fairly quickly.

Kegels are a great idea. I will try that.


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## makuahine (Mar 10, 2009)

My dd is five months now and it definitely takes me a lot longer to orgasm, if I even can, but I have absolutely no libido right now due to hormones and exhaustion. I've been told it gets better, and I certainly hope it does because poor dh will lose his mind if things don't change soon!


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## MountainMamaGC (Jun 23, 2008)

Due to the hormones it takes me a lot longer to O. I can do it but it takes a lot of effort and energy which is not easy to come by when you take care of a baby. With a glass of wine and some marital aids anything is possible. LOL.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

It's not uncommon for libido to change during nursing, and so that affects the ability to orgasm. If you work at it, that could fix it, or it might not.

Usually when you start menstruating again it gets better.

I'm kind of of the view that it's normal for our sexual response to change throughout our lives. You can be proactive about it if it bothers you or your spouse, but I also think accepting it is an important thing. This too shall pass, as they say.


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## ChampagneBlossom (Feb 5, 2009)

I am, umm... normally super-orgasmic. As in it takes very little to happen, and it can happen a LOT of times in a row.

Since breastfeeding... nothing.

ETA: My libido isn't affected, I have been menstruating for about 6 months now, and although I am super dry down there, sex is enjoyable (with lube) and it doesn't hurt or anything. Just the physical getting there... never happens. It's not an after-birth thing; I achieved orgasm super easily after the birth of my first, and DD's birth (15 months ago) wasn't traumatic at all. I think it IS due to nursing. We're not stopping but it kind of sucks a little.


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## haleythegreat (Jun 3, 2008)

I have a 3 1/2 month old, and I haven't even tried having sex. I barely want to kiss my husband let alone do it. guh. I have absolutely no sex drive. Poor man.

I don't know how to get back in the swing of things. my midwives thought I only had a 1st degree tear, so we didn't do any stitches. Unfortunately it turned out to be 2nd degree but it was too late to do anything about it. It didn't heal very well and I guess I'm still a little afraid of it. It looks cavernous and still feels weird/ hurts a little when I spread my legs too much.

I should probably work on accepting this as the way it's going to be.

I hope things start heating up for you! Any luck on your own?


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## dogmom327 (Apr 19, 2007)

It took awhile (and usually I don't have issues in that department) but honestly I think it was a little bit the hormones and mostly that I had a hard time focusing on DH. The baby was sleeping in the co-sleeper the first few times. Once we moved out to the living room and I couldn't hear the baby breathing--things improved drastically.


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## lookyloo (Nov 29, 2006)

I have tried on my own when I took DS to daycare, but nothing. And DH has been really good about everything. I mean we had to find our way, he wanted to touch my breasts, but I wasn't into that, etc. But overall he wants things to feel good for me. I do think finding the time is part of the problem, once we finally get into it, the baby starts waking up. I have the desire mentally and emotionally for physical intimacy, but physically my sex drive is very low.

When the previous posters have said it takes a while, how long did it take?

As long as it will eventually come back, I guess I tough it out. But this is definitely one of those things no one tells you about before. And surprising because I felt very sexy during my whole preganacy.


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## Sweet Peak (Oct 31, 2008)

Sad to say, but I do it for Dh right now. I absolutely HATE sex at this point. It really hurts and I am 8 mos PP.

I think the doc put in too many stitches, is that possible?


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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *haleythegreat* 
I have a 3 1/2 month old, and I haven't even tried having sex. I barely want to kiss my husband let alone do it. guh. I have absolutely no sex drive. Poor man.












Me too.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lookyloo* 
I have tried on my own when I took DS to daycare, but nothing. And DH has been really good about everything. I mean we had to find our way, he wanted to touch my breasts, but I wasn't into that, etc. But overall he wants things to feel good for me. I do think finding the time is part of the problem, once we finally get into it, the baby starts waking up. I have the desire mentally and emotionally for physical intimacy, but physically my sex drive is very low.

When the previous posters have said it takes a while, how long did it take?

As long as it will eventually come back, I guess I tough it out. But this is definitely one of those things no one tells you about before. And surprising because I felt very sexy during my whole preganacy.

I found things started to improve when I started cycling again at about 14 months pp. I believe that is about the average, but it varies quite a bit.


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## Quinn's Mama (Mar 24, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sweet Peak* 
I had 3rd degree tears with DS. I feel like I will never O again. My vagina is TOTALLY different...It sort of hurts to have sex, I dont enjoy it at all anymore...sadly.

My babe was 9 lb 2 oz, he was huge, and I am pretty tiny...

If it hurts to have sex, you need to see a physical therapist to help you teach your muscles to work correctly again. Your doctor or midwife can refer you. I had the same problem with pain during sex, but I also had major incontinence(bathroom issues). My therapist told me that it was hurting because muscles/tendons got moved around in bad places during pregnancy and didn't go back to their original locations, so the muscles/tendons get in the way and don't feel good at all. You have to do certain exercises to get them back to the right spots. I've been doing physical therapy for a couple of months now and it doesn't hurt to have sex anymore and my incontinence is under control, now it is just back problems I have to deal with(baby gets bigger every day).

Good luck.


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## Girl Named Sandoz (Jul 16, 2002)

I honestly don't think that whether or not you're menstruating has anything to do with it - with DS1 my period didn't come back until he was 24 months! Plenty of earth-shaking moments before then, I'm happy to report.


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## beansmama (Aug 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lookyloo* 
My son is about 5 months old and I still haven't had an orgasm. I usually never had a problem in that department. I asked my doctor at an appt at 3 months postpartum. She said there was nothing physically wrong with me and it was just my hormones. And the big O would come back when I weaned him.

Ugh! Ladies, do I really have to wait that long?

I'm not sure about this...I'm 25 and didn't have my first O until I weaned DD, separated from my X and bought a vibe









That being said...I seriously hope that's not true. I <3 my O's and don't think breastfeeding would make them go away?? Maybe it's just harder? I'd recommend getting a vibey...no shame in it, and It might help your problem. Good luck!


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

I haven't come across this problem and DD is exclusively BF, or fed pumped milk while I'm work... I was able to O again around 7 weeks PP or so. I don't think it has a lot to do with BF... just every women's different chemistry make up and hormones, and time for hormones to regulate and stuff.







I hope it comes back soon for you.


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## Guest (Jun 1, 2014)

*Okay to admit bf'ing is not for me*

It's been my experience that my breastfeeding hormones definitely affect my orgasms. When we began having sex at 8 weeks postpardum, as long as we moved slowly (and even though it was still very painful) I was able to have my normal-feeling orgasms. I've always been easy and consistent in achieving them.

Now, at nearly 10 months postpartum, it feels like they just slip through my fingers. I have been kinda close (with lots of lube of course) but when it would normally happen - it completely fizzles out and I feel a million miles away from achieving it. It's been this way for 3 or 4 months now. I'm guessing this will be the case until I wean.

I don't enjoy bf'ing that much. I think it zonks me out. If we try for another baby, I'm planning on doing 6 months at most, maybe less. It's so so physically and emotionally taxing. It's been more work than pleasure.


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## Jastiv (Nov 3, 2013)

I was able to orgasm at four weeks postpartum. I think we had intercourse by six weeks. I had been pretty horny prior to the pregnancy and birth to the point it was having negative effects on my life and relationships. We have sex no where near as often as we did prior to birth or pregnancy, but I really don't care since my husband and I have been so busy with the baby and with other stuff that has cropped up in our lives. 
I did have a first degree tear that my midwives stitched up after my son was born. It looks different down there, but it doesn't really feel any different. I do notice feeling a bit more dry, but that is just more like the dry part of my cycle, since I don't have the fertile part. He is four and a half months and I have not resumed my cycles yet.


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