# "They have to get used to sleeping around noise"



## Tway (Jul 1, 2010)

Really?

I can't count how many people have inferred that DD needs to learn to sleep through noise of any kind. I've heard all their good-baby stories: "I vacuumed while my baby slept" / "We could walk around and talk all we wanted" / "A hurricane couldn't wake our kid".

But unless DD is in a truly deep sleep (which I'm guessing she comes in and out of through naps and during the night), she's pretty easily roused. I know what floorboards to avoid, and we whisper for a good hour after she goes down, just in case. I even find myself ready to shush people at the supermarket, even if DD isn't with me. It's become a habit to keep baby asleep using any means possible!

Are some babies just light sleepers? Anyone else annoyed by the implication that your kid is weird or you're overprotective if you just want things quiet in the house?


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

We tried the "keep the noise/lights on" thing while DS napped.. his naps were about 15 minutes long and it was a HUGE struggle to get him to sleep. After a few months of this I started rocking/nursing him in the DARK (as in, pitch black with blackout curtains) with white-noise going and he went to sleep much faster and started staying asleep MUCH longer.

Some babies are definitely lighter sleepers than others. My DS is one of them. It has nothing to do with what you "train" them to sleep through, they either will or won't be deep sleepers.

Also, WHY would we want them to learn to sleep with noise? How many people do you know sleep at night with noise going? I personally like it quiet at night while I am sleeping, or at least only white-noise going. I do know a few people who have to sleep with the TV on, and THAT is a bad habit to get into, IMO. I wonder if she always had to sleep with lots of noise around her and that is why she needs the TV on to sleep at night?


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## Nicole730 (Feb 27, 2009)

My mom always says that to me! I just say that making noise doesn't work for my children. She also doesn't understand that kids frequently have 30 minute sleep cycles and that's why if there is noise at the 'wake up' point, there's a good chance they will stay awake.

I always slept to music as a young kid and now I can fall asleep with or without noise around me. DH cannot fall asleep with the tv on, he needs complete silence and that bugs me because sometimes I want to stay up later than him.


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## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

My mom would tell me how she used to vacuum UNDER MY CRIB while I was napping.

but then would yell at me if I made ANY noise after she went to bed and before she got up.

hypocrites, the lot of 'em.


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## Quaniliaz (Oct 11, 2002)

That's what parents of kids with good sleepers say....


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## Tway (Jul 1, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treeoflife3* 
My mom would tell me how she used to vacuum UNDER MY CRIB while I was napping.

but then would yell at me if I made ANY noise after she went to bed and before she got up.

hypocrites, the lot of 'em.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Quaniliaz* 
That's what parents of kids with good sleepers say....









Yeah, but are they good sleepers because they are used to noise, or is there noise because they are good sleepers.

Dh works with someone who won't even shower at home if his kid is sleeping anywhere in the house. That's just ludicrous. We always made a point of not being silent, and we have awesome sleepers.


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## MommaKitten21 (May 12, 2009)

ds is a light sleeper.... we have to be quiet, turn the doorknob to our bedroom ever so quietly, or he will wake up.

However, dd (only a week old so who knows if it will stay like this) will sleep through anything, and cant sleep if it's completely silent (probably due to her 2 yr old brother constantly causing a racket downstairs!)


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## Quaniliaz (Oct 11, 2002)

Quote:

Yeah, but are they good sleepers because they are used to noise, or is there noise because they are good sleepers.
I think babies just come out a certain way (I guess with a range of possibilities).

I could make any sort of noise around DD1 - and she'd never wake up. DD2 wakes up to whispering. There was certainly less noise around when dd1 was a baby than with dd2. My sister and I are the exact same way. I'm the oldest, and can sleep through anything. My sister goes from asleep to wide awake at the drop of a pin.


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## Tway (Jul 1, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Quaniliaz* 
My sister and I are the exact same way. I'm the oldest, and can sleep through anything. My sister goes from asleep to wide awake at the drop of a pin.

I've always been a horribly light sleeper, and DH can sleep anywhere, anyhow, anytime. So I wondered if DD took after me. (Although my MIL says DH never slept more than 20 minutes at a time until he was FOUR! I guess he learned to sleep... or he's making up for lost time.)


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

We could make all the noise we wanted when DD was sleeping until she was a few months old. The day she came home from the hospital our neighbors were getting a new roof. I couldn't nap, but DD passed out. Now we try to keep it kinda quiet since she's older.


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## LCBMAX (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
Dh works with someone who won't even shower at home if his kid is sleeping anywhere in the house. That's just ludicrous.

We are the Ludicrous Family who doesn't flush the toilet if our son is sleeping. It's just not worth the wake-up.


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## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

I really think this whole 'they have to learn to sleep through anything' bit is just what people tell themselves to excuse their belief that babies aren't like other humans and have their own preferences and sensitivities.

I mean, of course some babies sleep better than others. Of course some can handle an earthquake and others can't handle you breathing. Aren't kids and adults the same way?

It frustrates me to no end when people just expect babies to conform to whomever they are around completely rather than respecting the individual that baby is.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

We have three kids, and a pretty open floor plan. My youngest child's nap spot is a pack and play in the kitchen. I do have a white noise machine in there nearby, but regular household noise goes on during his naps... we don't allow loud screeching/yelling etc at that time, but conversation/regular household tasks etc- absolutely. He won't tolerate being where he can't hear the sounds of daily life for naps.

His older brother prefers (and has since he was tiny) to nap in the bedroom with the door closed.

Interestingly, if i want to take a nap during the day, I gravitate to the couch- I rest better when I can hear everything going on around me while my husband prefers to go to the bedroom and close the door.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I live at an intersection that's on the quickest route between the local fire station and the main road. In fact, I'm right on the main road. The fire trucks have to stop RIGHT OUTSIDE my house and make sure the intersection is clear before they can go away.

Also, the intersection sucks. There's 3-4 accidents a month there.

So yes, my kids need to be able to sleep with noise. As do we all. It's just a function of where we live.

Plus, what's the point of me tiptoeing around and waiting to flush the toilet when I know that any minute, three firetrucks will come by with their sirens blaring?

And as it happens, my kids *do* sleep through anything. I feel very fortunate.


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## widemouthedfrog (Mar 9, 2006)

LOL about the fire trucks. I think that we would have had to move. I grew up near an intersection like that.

Dd was a wretched sleeper as a baby and is still a light sleeper. She got to sleep using white noise, rocking, blackout blinds, complete silence other than the white noise, and my constant presence. The sleep was worth it. Around 1 1/2, I could finally leave the room during her naps and at 2 1/2 I could leave the room after she went to bed. Before that, the noise and movement of me leaving would wake her.

Yeah, it was ridiculous, but desperate times....


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## TCMoulton (Oct 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
Dh works with someone who won't even shower at home if his kid is sleeping anywhere in the house. That's just ludicrous. We always made a point of not being silent, and we have awesome sleepers.

We did the same - didn't go out of our way to rid the house of noise from the moment we brought our girls home and from very young they could nap anywhere and everywhere which was a blessing! I had a friend that kept the house silent during naps from the moment her DD was born and because of that they had to disconnect their doorbell and turn off the phone ringers whenever she napped for the first year of her life (she also would watch TV on mute and would read the captioning). If there was ANY noise at al her DD would immediately wake up. That little girl was motivation to get my kids used to noise at an early age.


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## WindyCityMom (Aug 17, 2009)

Just a side note (you've already received good replies!)...

I have read that babies are like eyes.. when a light is overstimulated (ie bright lights) it shuts itself to protect it. When a baby is overstimulated, they sleep. So in my belief, it is quite common that babies will sleep through noise or houseguests... etc.









With that said we went on with our daily lives onces we had children. We didn;t make a tremendous amount of noise if we didnt have to though.


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## Maela (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treeoflife3* 
My mom would tell me how she used to vacuum UNDER MY CRIB while I was napping.

My mom told me this too. And now I am a very light sleeper. I think it's a great idea to not try to be too quiet while the baby is sleeping in hopes that they'll sleep through noise better, BUT vacuuming in their room?! I think that's just rude. Being reasonably quiet when someone is sleeping is just a respectful thing to do IMHO.

My dd was a very light sleeper until just a year ago. And everyone always told me it was because I was quiet while she slept. NO, I started being quiet because she woke so often from every little noise.


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## WindyCityMom (Aug 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maela* 
My mom told me this too. And now I am a very light sleeper. I think it's a great idea to not try to be too quiet while the baby is sleeping in hopes that they'll sleep through noise better, BUT vacuuming in their room?! I think that's just rude. Being reasonably quiet when someone is sleeping is just a respectful thing to do IMHO.


Yep







Babies are people too


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I think that babies just have different tolerances for noise while sleeping but that said as parents you can also have some impact on that. We have tried to make it so that ds is not super reliant on 16 different factors to fall asleep 'cause it can make things so difficult for everyone if you're somewhere else & can't meet all those parameters.

That said, we have 2 dogs & I was so worried that they would constantly be waking him up. I guess he got used to the barking before he arrived 'cause he doesn't even seem to notice the barking, even when it's right beside him.

I totally get trying to avoid waking the baby but I can't imagine taking that as far as not flushing the toilet, but perhaps ds just isn't as light a sleeper as others.


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## KarlaC (Mar 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LCBMAX* 
We are the Ludicrous Family who doesn't flush the toilet if our son is sleeping. It's just not worth the wake-up.


Count us into that family too. Ds has always slept horribly and is one cranky little man who won't nap again if woken.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Whatever. My mom says stuff like that, too, but that's because me and my brother were and are rock-solid sleepers, and she's never had to deal with a sleepless, easily roused baby. And I know it's not my fault DS is easily roused. My girls aren't, and they grew up in the same house under the same conditions. DS's twin sister can sleep through ANYTHING AT ALL, but with DS, if I step on the wrong floorboard, or somebody flushes the toilet two floors down, he's up and screaming. And it was a lot worse when he was an infant. So yeah, for a long time I hung a sign on the front door threatening the mailman that I was going to throttle him if he let the screen door slam, and I silenced all the phones and avoided flushing when DS was sleeping. And a whole lot of other similar stuff. I don't call it ridiculous-- I call it survival. When DS doesn't sleep, the whole family pays the price.


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## Tway (Jul 1, 2010)

We're a no-flush/no-shower family, too.

That said, I remember going by a jackhammer when DD was napping in her carriage. I was sure she'd be up and screaming--but nope! If she's in just the right level of sleep, she sleeps pretty soundly. But 20 minutes later a man WALKING his bike by her startled her right up again. Oh, well.


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## LCBMAX (Jun 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tway* 
We're a no-flush/no-shower family, too.

That said, I remember going by a jackhammer when DD was napping in her carriage. I was sure she'd be up and screaming--but nope! If she's in just the right level of sleep, she sleeps pretty soundly. But 20 minutes later a man WALKING his bike by her startled her right up again. Oh, well.

Exactly this. And it's still the case at 2.5 years.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WindyCityMom* 
With that said we went on with our daily lives onces we had children. We didn't make a tremendous amount of noise if we didnt have to though.

This is us. But we're a rather quiet family, so our house has always been on the quiet side.

I also believe that sound vs. light sleepers is more of a "nature" thing than a "nurture" thing.


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
Yeah, but are they good sleepers because they are used to noise, or is there noise because they are good sleepers.

Dh works with someone who won't even shower at home if his kid is sleeping anywhere in the house. That's just ludicrous. We always made a point of not being silent, and we have awesome sleepers.

I think it's some of each.

DD sleeps just fine with noise as long as there isn't a huge sudden crash or something. But I don't know if she is just like that, or if she's like that because we were never quiet.


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maela* 
....
My dd was a very light sleeper until just a year ago. And everyone always told me it was because I was quiet while she slept. NO, I started being quiet because she woke so often from every little noise.









Same here - we responded to our kids' reactions to noise and made adjustments as needed. My DD in particular woke very easily so after she came along we really quieted down.

We also tried to be reasonably quiet and not make noises that would wake either of us up, as adults.

We have had very inconsiderate, childless houseguests who would make all kinds of noise in the bathroom (showers, blowdryers, etc), even when requested not to - like please shower in the morning not evening - and of course would wake our kids. I hope to repay the favor when they have kids.


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## ThisCat (Jun 19, 2010)

I never really understood why some people who have babies who can sleep through anything feel the need to imply that people who have babies who can't did something wrong along the way. I really can't imagine taking that much credit for my child or judging another parent whose circumstances I know nothing about. It reminds me of those parents that like to point fingers at parents with picky eaters while patting themselves on the back because their kids eat sushi.

Anyway, once my daughter was out of the newborn stage, she made it clear she needed quiet and dark to sleep, so we accommodated. That meant we watched TV at a volume so low that we had to use closed captions, we kept the lights low, we didn't flush the hall bathroom toilet, we turned off the ringers on the phones, and we whispered a lot. We also got a white noise machine and blackout shades for the bedroom. It really wasn't bad though. We actually look back on that time with fondness. It was very cozy.

She's almost five now and sleeps quite soundly. We are mindful that she's sleeping in the evening, but we don't have to tip-toe around anymore. She likes her door left cracked open and sleeps though us cooking, talking, showering, flushing, and watching TV on regular volume.


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## Tway (Jul 1, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThisCat* 
That meant we watched TV at a volume so low that we had to use closed captions, we kept the lights low, we didn't flush the hall bathroom toilet, we turned off the ringers on the phones, and we whispered a lot. We also got a white noise machine and blackout shades for the bedroom.

Except for the blackout shades, that's us! In fact, I'm starting to find it hard to watch a movie WITHOUT the subtitles, even if DD isn't asleep.

And yes--my biggest bugaboo about parenthood is having other parents tell me what I'm doing wrong/how I'm ruining or spoiling my kid/what I should do instead/etc. I sincerely cant imagine telling any mother what she should do, even if I really don't agree with her. It really stumps me every time.


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## emilysuek (Jul 21, 2010)

I live in a tiny apartment where the kids sleep in a "railroad room" basically a glorified hallway alcove. There isn't even a door, there's an insulated curtain! To add insult to injury we live in one of the few towns left in my state that still blares an air horn 20 times to "call" the volunteer firefighters. And I live two houses down from that air horn. Naptime is a crap shoot.


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

My son is napping and I just returned from using the phone in the bathroom so that he would not wake.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I really and truly believed this with #1. I thought she slept so soundly through any noise because of my mad skillz and because I'd made noise around her when she slept.

LOL.

Then came #2, and any peep anywhere in the house will wake her up. I'm constantly shushing #1, don't want anyone ringing the doorbell, put the phone on vibrate, etc.

And I have been the same with both.

I think we give way more credit (and fault sometimes) for our children's quirks to ourselves when it's often just personality.


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## MommatoAandA (Jun 4, 2010)

People say that all the time to me. I think we forget babies are people, rather than a hinder to moving on with our lives as usual.

I have a sensitive to noise/light type baby. She also becomes overwhelmed in social situations where there are more than a few people and people want to talk to her or hold her or when random strangers get in her face at say, the grocery store. She will give me the deer in headlights look and CRY.

She currently sleeps in our walk in closet which has no windows. She needs complete dark and almost complete silence. We do use a noise machine with the Heart beat or rain setting and a small fan. I do not shower or flush the toilet. I do not vacuum and often take my 3 year old out to play for her 2 hour nap.

That is who she is, I respect it. I personally cannot sleep with any lights within my eye line and NO TV. I do like some white noise.


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## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maela* 
BUT vacuuming in their room?! I think that's just rude.

This made me laugh. With our last baby, as soon as I noticed he'd begin to rouse, if it was too soon from a nap or if someone had accidentally woken him, I would actually run the vaccum to get him to fall back asleep!


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I took a baby class after I had dd and they told us to turn off all the lights, shut off anything that made noise, and nurse or bottle feed our babies quietly at night to get them used to night being a quiet time for relaxing. We did that and co-slept and by the time dd was two months old she was sleeping twelve hours a night (though she did still wake to latch on). I would rather have a good long sleep than a baby who can sleep through any noise. I think priorities have changed though over the years. My mom used to be super concerned about everything being immaculate and never rested when we did. I always slept and let some of the immaculate go.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *One_Girl* 
I took a baby class after I had dd and they told us to turn off all the lights, shut off anything that made noise, and nurse or bottle feed our babies quietly at night to get them used to night being a quiet time for relaxing. We did that and co-slept and by the time dd was two months old she was sleeping twelve hours a night (though she did still wake to latch on).

Well, this is pretty much what I always did because I like silence and don't care for TV or the radio very much. I guess I didn't make the house pitch black, but it was quiet and dim. DS1 slept through the night at 6 weeks (11pm-6am). DS2 started sleeping through the night when he was 3.5 YEARS old.

I work odd hours...I used to get home not until 2-3am sometimes, and minutes after I walked in the door (quietly), he would often be standing in the hallway to say hello. He sleeps pretty soundly now, at 15. Funny enough, noise bothers DS1 MORE now that he's older. I used to joke that you could drop a brick on his face and he wouldn't wake up. Now he comes upstairs (his bedroom is in the basement) to ask DH to turn the TV down.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I think it is an individual thing - kind of like STTN - with the noise, we didn't change anything noise wise in our house when DS was born, and he naps ok. He sleeps ok too. Not exactly STTN, but well enough for us.

When he's napping, if we need to do something loud (like vacuum) we shut the door to the room he is sleeping in. Just in case. For bed time though; we have a lullaby instrumental cd we play and that is it as far as noise. We do have a night light because I like to be able to see my way to the bathroom, and I like to be able to see a little where DS is, and it helps with night-nursing.

People always have these opinions, I think alot of it just depends on the baby.


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