# my baby got too cold last night...will she be ok?



## taffywelsh (Jul 2, 2010)

Hi,
Last night I allowed my 9-day old baby to get too cold. I thought she was ok in a long-sleeve shirt and a cotton sleeper (it was supposedly around 70 degrees in the room, but I bet it was colder), but then after she cried all night I realized she had been too cold. I should have wrapped her in something else, but I just didn't think of it. What an idiot I am.
I feel so guilty. Have I hurt my baby? She seems fine now but I'm really concerned about what this spell of coldness may have done to her. She is late preterm and weighs less than 6 lbs.
Please help; am miserable.
TW


----------



## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

I'd call my pediatrician or whoever and ask. that's what they're paid for. Peds tend to be good at making people feel better on these kinds of issues, at least mine is.

My guess would be that as long as your baby is back up to temp and eating/wetting/pooping fine, then she'll almost definitely be ok, but I don't know much about preterm issues.


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

i would assume that shes ok but im no Dr.

do you swaddle? that works wonders and keeps them warm. the miracle blanket is great.


----------



## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

For what it is worth, I know someone who discovered that her newborn wasn't gaining weight correctly because she kept her too cold without realizing it. Her body was using all the calories from the breastmilk on keeping kiddo warm. This was over a month or two and her child is totally fine now that she is kept warmer.

I don't know everything but I'm betting all that happened was she used some extra calories through the night. I'm of the opinion that newborns are way more sturdy than people give them credit for.


----------



## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

Forgive yourself & call the ped. My DD still gets very cold at night, I feel awful too.


----------



## YayJennie (Aug 7, 2008)

I remember doing the same thing when my son was a newborn. He couldn't have been more than a month old, and we co slept, but in the beginning of the night I would put him in the bassinet part of his pack and play, right next to our bed. When I woke up to nurse him and got him out of the pack and play, his little hand was FREEZING, and I could tell a draft had been coming in through the window near his pack and play. I felt so bad, but he was fine and I'm sure your babe is fine too. Call the ped if it will make you feel better, but if your babe is eating and pooping and in general OK today, I'm sure she's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it!


----------



## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

she cried all night? have you thought about co-sleeping? that is how i keep my baby warm.


----------



## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LionessMom* 
she cried all night? have you thought about co-sleeping? that is how i keep my baby warm.

Thats what I was wondering... were you holding her when she was crying? If so, then she got body heat from you too...


----------



## Sfcmama (Aug 29, 2010)

I recommend you talk to your baby's care provider about being cold.

As for the guilt, I know it's hard but try to release it. I'm quickly learning that us moms can too easily find reasons to beat ourselves up. If it's not one thing, it'll be another. No one expects you to be perfect, not even your babe!

If it makes you feel any better, we had the opposite problem of cooking our DD when she was a newborn. She's a naturally warm baby and it took us some time to figure out how to dress her (especially while cosleeping) without overheating her.

Be kind to yourself, mama!


----------



## Abraisme (Mar 8, 2009)

I second the co-sleeping suggestions. Babies are designed to sleep next to an adult because they don't regulate temp very well. That being said, babies are really hardy and designed to get a little cold here and there. I highly doubt that you've hurt your baby.. Don't feel hard on yourself, EVERYONE does stuff like this sometimes. :







s::


----------



## taffywelsh (Jul 2, 2010)

Thank you for the kind responses. I bet baby is fine, she has been sleeping a lot today, then she ate a lot. The fact is, it's not like it's really freezing in here. I just felt so guilty that she was uncomfortable and squandering her calories like that.
She did cry for a long time, but NOT when I was holding her...that's partly how I figured out that she must have been cold. Poor baby.
As for co-sleeping, our actual bed is not appropriate, and I am getting a special side-car thing. The snafu is that my brother is building it and he has been on a multi-state bonfire party spree for weeks. I told him I needed it by September 30th, I guess the joke is on me here. Baby was born the 10th.
Anyway, thanks very much to all, and I think I will leave the pediatrician out of it for now since baby seems so fine and ok (also I already called her yesterday about baby's breathing, turns out something called "periodic breathing of newborns" if fine and normal, clearly I know nothing about infants).
TW


----------



## Ambystoma (Mar 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taffywelsh* 
Anyway, thanks very much to all, and I think I will leave the pediatrician out of it for now since baby seems so fine and ok (also I already called her yesterday about baby's breathing, turns out something called "periodic breathing of newborns" if fine and normal, clearly I know nothing about infants).
TW

This scared me too when DS was a newborn. I still feel like I know nothing about babies, so you aren't alone! I saw the periodic breathing thing in "the baby book" by dr. sears. I don't agree with him 100% on his parenting stuff, but that book has lots of useful health-type information that I still pull out and check (types of rashes, types of coughs, milestones, common health problems in children). So, if you tend to worry (like me!) I would recommend checking out that book.


----------



## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Glad she's fine. Just be sure to keep her extra warm today and lots of boobie time to help her recoup.

Definitely look into a swaddle blanket or a Halo sleep sack (LOVE those things!)

You'll never worry about your LO being cold again, believe me! I just wish they made them big enough for my giantess.

V


----------



## prettypixels (Apr 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taffywelsh* 
Thank you for the kind responses. I bet baby is fine, she has been sleeping a lot today, then she ate a lot. The fact is, it's not like it's really freezing in here. I just felt so guilty that she was uncomfortable and squandering her calories like that.
She did cry for a long time, but NOT when I was holding her...that's partly how I figured out that she must have been cold. Poor baby.
As for co-sleeping, our actual bed is not appropriate, and I am getting a special side-car thing. The snafu is that my brother is building it and he has been on a multi-state bonfire party spree for weeks. I told him I needed it by September 30th, I guess the joke is on me here. Baby was born the 10th.
Anyway, thanks very much to all, and I think I will leave the pediatrician out of it for now since baby seems so fine and ok (also I already called her yesterday about baby's breathing, turns out something called "periodic breathing of newborns" if fine and normal, clearly I know nothing about infants).
TW


You left your newborn baby crying and cold for a long time and you weren't holding her?


----------



## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 
You left your newborn baby crying and cold for a long time and you weren't holding her?









I am wondering about this as well.









How many times throughout the night did baby nurse? It really sounds like a less-than ideal situation- particularly for a preterm baby- is going on here.

Cosleeping would be ideal, but even if you can't do that right now, having the baby in the same room will allow you to notice problems like this sooner and respond to her needs more appropriately so things like this are less likely to happen.

We all make poor judgment calls along the way in our paths as parents. There is no point in dwelling on them, but it is imperative that we learn from them.


----------



## jennybear (Sep 4, 2007)

I'm also a little confused.

OP: can you clarify a bit as to what "crying for a long time" means? Was baby in her crib crying? How long was she alone and crying?

You might try the Miracle Blanket or Swaddleme sleep sacks--both are good for keeping baby warm & snug. Newborns also love being swaddled, so they work great for that as well.

I didn't love co-sleeping and DD moved into her own room at four months, but for those first few months I think it's really important. Babies need to be responded to quickly and being close to mama helps them regulate breathing, temp, etc.


----------



## wanderinggypsy (Jul 26, 2005)

I don't want to assume that you were knowingly allowing your 9 day old baby to cry for any longer than it took for you to walk quickly from your room to hers, so if that was a misread on my part, do forgive my assumption. I am not here to come down on a new mama. As a mom of four I've made more than my share of oopses over the years, and I believe that mama-wisdom is a thing to be shared.Anyways, in the case that you do believe in "self soothing", you should know that even the staunchest advocates for "cry it out" or "self soothing" do NOT advocate such strategies on a newborn. Responding IMMEDIATELY to your baby is the only approved approach in the first three months. Can you maybe borrow a small bassinet or something to go beside your bed until your co-sleeper is ready? My daughter was a 36 weeker and she had some apnea type breathing issues that always resolved when she could hear me breathing. They are just not biologically prepared for physical separation in the newborn phase and the consequences can be devastating.


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

shes in her own room?!? that greatly increases SIDS risks.

i dont get why you bed isnt co-sleeping friendly? we just put the mattress on the floor. do you have a tempurpedic or something? cant youjust put her crib mattress on the floor next to the bed? shes not rolling yet.


----------



## Bokonon (Aug 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
I am wondering about this as well.









How many times throughout the night did baby nurse? It really sounds like a less-than ideal situation- particularly for a preterm baby- is going on here.

Cosleeping would be ideal, but even if you can't do that right now, having the baby in the same room will allow you to notice problems like this sooner and respond to her needs more appropriately so things like this are less likely to happen.

We all make poor judgment calls along the way in our paths as parents. There is no point in dwelling on them, but it is imperative that we learn from them.











A preterm baby shouldn't be going more than 3 hours between feedings in the middle of the night, and most definitely shouldn't be left alone to cry.


----------



## taffywelsh (Jul 2, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 
You left your newborn baby crying and cold for a long time and you weren't holding her?









no no no no...I was holding her...I just put her down from time to time when she seemed to be asleep, she would cry after a minute or so, then I would pick her up again!
My goodness. Sorry I gave the wrong impression. She sleeps in a cradle right next to my bed. I basically held her all night!
Please.
I never said she had her own room, I just said I wasn't co-sleeping yet. She is about two feet away from me when she is sleeping, just not right in my bed or in a co-sleeper (yet). There is a "baby room", and she has a little cot in there for day sleeping, but that's beside the point.
I also never said I just let her cry for hours without picking her up and comforting her. All I said was that she cried for a long time, which is true...off and on. When I needed a break, my partner came in to hold her. We weren't going to just shut her up in another room and let her "cry it out", although I think that some crying is natural even when she is changed, fed, warm, etc. I set an alarm clock so that I won't go more than 2.5 hours between night feedings, although the doctor said she can have one 4-hour stretch in the night.
Not sure why I have to explain all this, but it seems like I must.
Hopefully people will stop jumping to conclusions here and inflaming one another. It is not fair and it makes me uncomfortable about posting; I thought this was supposed to be a supportive forum. It's hard enough being a new mother without all of this presumptuous vitriol.
thanks.


----------



## ShanaV (Aug 5, 2010)

I second (and third and fourth...) cosleeping. She was also prob crying bc she wanted comfort, booby, or just Mama in general. New babies looooooove (and in fact need, as a pp said) to be near mama as much as poss. Just try this technique: cradle her facing you with her noggin resting on your bicep/armpit area, lie down on your side facing her. You'll be tummy to tummy, and it's very comfy for both. Don't worry about smashing her! You will be conscious of her even in your sleep (or half sleep). Bonus: easy feeding thru the night bc as a newborn she'll prob want to eat, like, every hour or two.


----------



## Bokonon (Aug 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taffywelsh* 
no no no no...I was holding her...I just put her down from time to time when she seemed to be asleep, she would cry after a minute or so, then I would pick her up again!
My goodness. Sorry I gave the wrong impression. She sleeps in a cradle right next to my bed. I basically held her all night!
Please.
I never said she had her own room, I just said I wasn't co-sleeping yet. She is about two feet away from me when she is sleeping, just not right in my bed or in a co-sleeper (yet). There is a "baby room", and she has a little cot in there for day sleeping, but that's beside the point.
I also never said I just let her cry for hours without picking her up and comforting her. All I said was that she cried for a long time, which is true...off and on. When I needed a break, my partner came in to hold her. We weren't going to just shut her up in another room and let her "cry it out", although I think that some crying is natural even when she is changed, fed, warm, etc. I set an alarm clock so that I won't go more than 2.5 hours between night feedings, although the doctor said she can have one 4-hour stretch in the night.
Not sure why I have to explain all this, but it seems like I must.
Hopefully people will stop jumping to conclusions here and inflaming one another. It is not fair and it makes me uncomfortable about posting; I thought this was supposed to be a supportive forum. It's hard enough being a new mother without all of this presumptuous vitriol.
thanks.

You have to understand our concern - in your original post, you said "after she cried all night", and that you were unaware of what the temperature was like in her room. I know I was concerned that this meant that you let the baby cry all night, alone, in a different room from you.

The women on this board are supportive, but also concerned with baby's well-being and will advocate for that.


----------



## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taffywelsh* 
no no no no...I was holding her...I just put her down from time to time when she seemed to be asleep, she would cry after a minute or so, then I would pick her up again!
My goodness. Sorry I gave the wrong impression. She sleeps in a cradle right next to my bed. I basically held her all night!
Please.
I never said she had her own room, I just said I wasn't co-sleeping yet. She is about two feet away from me when she is sleeping, just not right in my bed or in a co-sleeper (yet). There is a "baby room", and she has a little cot in there for day sleeping, but that's beside the point.
I also never said I just let her cry for hours without picking her up and comforting her. All I said was that she cried for a long time, which is true...off and on. When I needed a break, my partner came in to hold her. We weren't going to just shut her up in another room and let her "cry it out", although I think that some crying is natural even when she is changed, fed, warm, etc. I set an alarm clock so that I won't go more than 2.5 hours between night feedings, although the doctor said she can have one 4-hour stretch in the night.
Not sure why I have to explain all this, but it seems like I must.
Hopefully people will stop jumping to conclusions here and inflaming one another. It is not fair and it makes me uncomfortable about posting; I thought this was supposed to be a supportive forum. It's hard enough being a new mother without all of this presumptuous vitriol.
thanks.

I'm so sorry you feel attacked! I think the previous posters were just concerned for a sweet tiny baby, and yes, jumped to conclusions because your words were vague.

Back to your original concern - as others have said, I would talk to your ped about it, but I doubt there would be any long-term effect. Night after night of it, yes, but one night? Probably just fine.


----------



## SilverFish (Jan 14, 2010)

if you were holding her and feeding her all night and you didn't notice that her extremities were growing chilly, then she probably wasn't really that cold and her crying was probably normal newborn unsettledness (or due to something else entirely). if you DID notice when you went to pick her up that she was chilly, then adding extra clothes or a blanket would be the obvious solution.

now, i have gone to pick my baby up in the morning (usually while we're staying in a hotel/ with family and i'm not familiar with drafts) and realized that she was freezing, but had slept right through it. i do feel terrible, since i know how uncomfortable i get when i'm cold at night. so we've all been there i think.

a practical solution to keeping your baby's sleeping space warm enough might be putting a heated water bottle or rice/oat sock under her matress pad in her bassinet. just be careful you're not making it too hot. i've had success doing the opposite (a cool pad) in my dd's crib during a couple heatwaves this summer.


----------



## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShanaV* 
I second (and third and fourth...) cosleeping. She was also prob crying bc she wanted comfort, booby, or just Mama in general. New babies looooooove (and in fact need, as a pp said) to be near mama as much as poss. Just try this technique: cradle her facing you with her noggin resting on your bicep/armpit area, lie down on your side facing her. You'll be tummy to tummy, and it's very comfy for both. Don't worry about smashing her! You will be conscious of her even in your sleep (or half sleep). Bonus: easy feeding thru the night bc as a newborn she'll prob want to eat, like, every hour or two.

That how I was co-sleeping from day one and still do now. It made feeding much easier and got me much more comfortable. A good reality check is - if you do not thrash around in your sleep and do not roll over your partner you will be aware of the LO. I was terrified at first, but DS was so much happier and stopped crying altogether. We all got much more rest. I also slept skin to skin (me topless, DS in a diaper only) under the same light receiving blanket. It worked great and DS was always plenty warm. Interestingly, the one time the blanket went over his head I woke up immediately. Mommys really do develop the 6th sense. Just make sure to keep pillows, fluffy things, and heavy comforters safely away from her face. I was really scared that DS would suffocate under my boob







but he loved having his food close.








I also think she probably wasn't cold as much as she wanted to be held.


----------



## cloudbutterfly (Oct 22, 2008)

That sounds like our first night home from the hospital. Sometimes it's hard to tell why they're crying, and even if you find a reason, it might not be the main reason, you know? It turned out that our son just didn't like not being swaddled (I never got the hang of doing it with a blanket, no matter how many times I asked the nurses to show me, so I hadn't done it out of worry that a loose swaddle would be dangerous). So my mom went out the next morning and bought a couple Halo fleece swaddle sacks. They were awesome, and he ended up being a great sleeper...for the first 5 1/2 months of his life, anyway.







He was a winter baby, and that plus a fleece sleeper at night or terry cloth sleeper during the day usually seemed to keep him warm enough in our somewhat cool house.

We also have an unsafe mattress for co-sleeping, so I understand how tough that is! We have an Arm's Reach co-sleeper, and it's been the next best thing, having him right there next to me. It's nice now that he's a big, hardy guy and I feel comfortable snuggling up and napping with him in bed, so there's that to look forward to someday.


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

sorry mama was just worried for the babes! the first few months are rough preriod and yes babies do cry. DD was COLIC even though i didnt "believe" it existed but she would scream for 4 or more HOURS a day until she was 5 months old!! it was soooooooooo hard but i kept her in the wrap all day and nursed her all day and all night. she slept with us if you could call it sleeping haha up every 30 or so mins.
HANG IN THERE! you are doing a good job by not letting DD CIO and *hopefully* that co sleeper will be done asap to give you both some rest.


----------



## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

is baby wearing a hat when sleeping? something on theirs heads at this age really helps keep them warm. i dont think i ever let my babies go without till they were 4 or 5 months old... even in the bath! wool is the best, or silk, but cotton or anything will do!


----------



## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

honestly i just side car a crib and sleep half in it with my DD. if baby is waking up crying and her diaper is clean, give her a boob! lol. i just pop it in every time she fusses. esp at the newborn age. mama milk warms them right up.


----------



## TreeRose (Sep 14, 2010)

Ouch.
My heart aches reading through these posts.
As a new mom, I totally relate to your fear of doing something to hurt your baby!!! And also as a new mom, I feel super defensive for you and some of the less than supportive responses you read here.
Just wanting to send you support and hugs - I'm right beside you here and you're doing great!


----------



## Deir (Aug 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *taffywelsh* 
no no no no...I was holding her...I just put her down from time to time when she seemed to be asleep, she would cry after a minute or so, then I would pick her up again!
My goodness. Sorry I gave the wrong impression. She sleeps in a cradle right next to my bed. I basically held her all night!
Please.
I never said she had her own room, I just said I wasn't co-sleeping yet. She is about two feet away from me when she is sleeping, just not right in my bed or in a co-sleeper (yet). There is a "baby room", and she has a little cot in there for day sleeping, but that's beside the point.
I also never said I just let her cry for hours without picking her up and comforting her. All I said was that she cried for a long time, which is true...off and on. When I needed a break, my partner came in to hold her. We weren't going to just shut her up in another room and let her "cry it out", although I think that some crying is natural even when she is changed, fed, warm, etc. I set an alarm clock so that I won't go more than 2.5 hours between night feedings, although the doctor said she can have one 4-hour stretch in the night.
Not sure why I have to explain all this, but it seems like I must.
Hopefully people will stop jumping to conclusions here and inflaming one another. It is not fair and it makes me uncomfortable about posting; I thought this was supposed to be a supportive forum. It's hard enough being a new mother without all of this presumptuous vitriol.
thanks.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))


----------



## taffywelsh (Jul 2, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treerose* 
ouch.
My heart aches reading through these posts.
As a new mom, i totally relate to your fear of doing something to hurt your baby!!! And also as a new mom, i feel super defensive for you and some of the less than supportive responses you read here.
Just wanting to send you support and hugs - i'm right beside you here and you're doing great!

thank you! (AND TO DEIR)


----------



## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

Two things that spring immediately to mind:

1. While I adore co-sleeping, it is a more controversial a practice with pre-term infants than it is with full-term ones. And it's not precisely uncontroversial with full-term babies - it's a very popular choice here that doesn't necessarily fly in the mainstream. I have a preemie too, and I understand the extra caution that comes with that. Definitely wait until you have a safe set-up to start. Among other things, if you're worried, how much sleep do you think you're gonna get?

2. Given your baby's age, the problem may not have been cold. My ped explains to new parents that as babies get "more vigorous" they can also get fussier. If that's the case, it's not something you did wrong, it's just the baby reacting to an immature nervous system. Swaddling, and the other tricks in "The Happiest Baby on the Block" can really help with this.


----------



## ckberkey (Jan 7, 2006)

Sounds like you figured it out Mama! The first coupla weeks can be tough... hang in there, it gets easier. Have you looked at an Arms Reach cosleeper? You can find good deals on craigslist sometimes, that way you don't have to wait on your party hardy bro.


----------



## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

so sorry, mama!!!! and sorry people have been less than tactful in responses








i know what you mean.. i second guessed pretty much everything at first, and my dd did SO MUCH crying, held/not held/ cosleeping/in the cosleeper. this sounds kind oddball, and i'm an older mom who ought to know better, but i really didn't realize just how much some babies actually cry when they're newborn.
I don't think a 70 (or less) degree room is enough to harm that baby! Humans haven't always had central heating, ya know! I think too, there are places across that pond from the US where the rooms are normally kept much cooler than we tend to do here.
i second the sleep sac suggestions & the swaddling suggestions. We do cosleep, and it does keep that baby warm (sweaty even), but if you don't feel safe on your mattress doing that, by all means don't!


----------



## Emmascot (Dec 5, 2013)

Wh
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Bokonon*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


----------



## biofarmer (Nov 12, 2013)

I worried about this a lot with my newborn baby. One thing that was really helpful to keep him warm was a swaddle sleepsack. I had one that I could wrap around him arms or keep his arms out. It is very safe and can fit over the layers. Just reading your post, I remember how I was that first month and beyond. I thought that my worrying was normal, but later realized it was Postpartum Anxiety. You may want to talk to your doctor/midwife about your worrying to rule out any anxiety issues. It is not uncommon and they will help you cope.


----------



## pokeyac (Apr 1, 2011)

Moderator Note: Name Calling is not allowed on this site. Please see our User Agreement. The link is in my signature.


----------



## Emmascot (Dec 5, 2013)

T
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pokeyAC*
> 
> Moderator Note: Name Calling is not allowed on this site. Please see our User Agreement. The link is in my signature.


Thank you I'm sorry if my opinion caused offence. In sure therefore the following paragraph with its bullying connotations and insinuation that the poster was an unfit parent will also be removed:

You have to understand our concern - in your original post, you said "after she cried all night", and that you were unaware of what the temperature was like in her room. I know I was concerned that this meant that you let the baby cry all night, alone, in a different room from you.


----------



## pokeyac (Apr 1, 2011)

Those comments were made over 3 years ago. If someone was offended they would have notified the moderators then. I read through the entire thread and it seems like anyone who said something unfair apologized and clarified what they were saying. If you feel a member is bullying another member, please let us know in the future by clicking on the flag button at the bottom of the post. Thank you.


----------

