# dad on strike because of co-sleeping



## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

http://www.husbandonstrike.com/

Wow, what a selfish jerk!


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## dove (Jun 13, 2005)

and have you seen the petition and what people's comments are upon signing it? i had to stop reading, makes me want to puke. I would divorce him stat. LOO-ser!


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## pinkmilk (Nov 27, 2005)

Wow..it's really hard for me to understand him...I always try and figure out where people's hearts are coming from in every situation...he must be hurting and lost...wierd.


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## pinkmilk (Nov 27, 2005)

O.K...I just showed my dh this and he's real mad!!!He say "what an a.&**%%^
and that she should get rid of the bleepin' unsupportive jerk"

That's why I love my dh.


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## turtlemama77 (Jul 29, 2005)

I had to stop reading the comments too! It's too bad that he's not more supportive of meeting his children's needs while they are so young.


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## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

This one made me want to uke

Quote:

All I know is that children need to sleep in their own beds at night. It is very unhealthy for a child to sleep with his/her parents. Even if the child cries at night for a week straight they need to be in their own bed!!! I could go on forever about this but I dont have the time.


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

something tells me its not the kids being spioled but rather the "d"h that is!


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

how about THIS one "I am a mother of a 28 year old young man. I don't believe my son would be where he is right now, if I would have let him sleep with my husband and myself at 2 yrs of age. I know your wife loves them dearly, but in the long run, she is going to ruin them as adults. Love them always, but remember you have a husband who loves YOU also. "







i'm not a co-sleeper (we're all personal space freaks







) & i can't figure this guy out for one single minute!!!!


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

He's having a big, grown-up TANTRUM, is what he's doing. He can't get his own way, so he's going to have a public tantrum and attract a whole lot of attention, and hope to embarass his wife into doing what he wants her to do.

My toddler is a master hand at this strategy. I find that ignoring it works really well.


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## rachelmarie (Mar 21, 2005)

I wasn't going to click on the link. And then I did. Now I'm mad. What an idiot! I can't believe this guy is not only "going on strike" but also letting the whole world know about it, which imo is wrong. It is something him and his wife should work out alone, privately.

I'm SO GLAD my dh is wonderfully supportive of co-sleeping! And we agree wholeheartedly on every parenting decision so far. I can't imagine having a dh like that guy.


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## ChelseaG (Oct 29, 2004)

I live in MI and the local news was all over this story last night - it is so completely ridiculous - his kids are 2 months old and 2 years old! Not like they are 10 and 12 or something (not that it would be wrong to co-sleep then either) - but they are BABIES! And he is the one acting like a baby - I hope everyone ignores him and he can just stay up on his stupid roof forever...
sorry - just had to vent
- also - his wife was on a local talk radio show this morning and the host was asking her about meeting dh's "needs" in the bedroom and she said he gets his needs met quite a bit and should have nothing to complain about...


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## mrmsmommy (Feb 18, 2005)

I just don't understand some peoples issues with sharing a bed, they forget to enjoy their children while they are little.

I just have to put my 2 cents in, and its probably going to sound like a babble. LOL

we tried getting Mikey in his own room, he just gets so scared when he wakes up, he loves being close to us.
He always has loved that from the day he was born, I have always been for co-sleeping, its something that was in my upbringing, my grandma co-slept with her kids, my mom with me, my aunts with their kids.
It comes natural.
When Mike was gone for a year(military), it helped mikey over his anxiety from daddy being away.
Its just something that isn't a issue in our home.
And trust me, he won't sleep in our bed till he is 16, I didn't, neither did my aunts.
One of my great memories was waking up to my mom, and us having a family bed. One of the great memories was waking up next to my grandma together with my cousin when we were little and I felt so safe. It made me feel safe. And eventually I WANTED to sleep in my own bed, and my own room.

Mikey feels safe waking up next to us, because I know its not a control thing, he CAN sleep on his own, I know this, but he feels safe with us.
And I ain't taking that feeling away from him.
One day he'll want to sleep in his own bed, and right now I am enjoying this precious time.

So anybody can continue telling me how unhealthy it is, and how crazy Mike & I are, but its our life, and its what works for us, and its precious, and wonderful.
And I am blessed to have a hubby who feels the SAME way, and has the same views as me on this.
God I love that man.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

If her dh is getting sex and still complaining about this, he's an even bigger jerk than I thought. I'm 8 months pp with baby number three, and sex is still an issue...not because of the family bed, but because of the _pain_

The comments on his blog actually made me even madder than his strike does. The usual "you'll never get them out of the bed", "they're being ruined", "how can children become independent" (good question, as a 3-month-old is certainly dependent on us for _everything_), etc., etc., etc. One woman asked if anybody knows how many children are killed by a parent rolling over on them...no mention of SIDS, though.







:


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## mrmsmommy (Feb 18, 2005)

I left a message on his blog, because I cannot keep my mouth shut. LOL

I wrote:

Its always easy to blame the kids for a problem that is maybe all you.
Its always the kids who are the reason for adults to stop acting like adults.
Maybe look in the mirror and see the real honest truth, that maybe the problem is YOU and not your kids sleeping in the same room.


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## ekblad9 (Nov 21, 2001)

He and his wife were just on Mitch Album. Dh and I both tried to call in but they took only calls from people that said co sleeping was bad. One caller said she worked for EMS and were called often for people smothering their babies to death. One woman was a divorce attorney and said people get divorced over this issue alot. Oh, and my favorite line this guy had was "I married my wife not my kids" What a complete idiot. Sorry but this guy needs major help.


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

Oh see this is discussed here too. You want some different opinions? Check out Parents as Partners forum!

PS. I still say that what this guy is doing is trying to get out of his responsibilities by blaming anybody and anything - cosleeping, pacifiers, mess in the bedroom (he calls it a mess? He definately should come over to my house, LOL)

PPS. For those bloggers, and I posted it there too - my 18yo does NOT still sleep with me







For quite a few years actually...


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## chikletto (May 28, 2005)

If he were my husband I'd move the rest of his stuff up to the roof.....then the kids and I could sleep in peace.


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## dove (Jun 13, 2005)

I've decided the smartest thing that wife could do would be to change the locks while he is up on the gd roof.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

I love the person who said they hoped the roof caved in and dumped him back in the bed
ROFL. selfish idiot.


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## birthjunkie27 (Jul 6, 2005)

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR these people are SO stupid!!!! One woman touting that she's proud that she didn't "baby her daughter". Um...hello. You are supposed to BABY a BABY you idiot!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
























Here's what I wrote to him:

Let me preface this by saying that most of the comments on here are so sad.

Your wife is right on and you are being selfish! You cannot spoil a 2 month old baby for goodness sakes! Co sleeping is completely normal and natural! Your wife is following her instincts. GOOD FOR HER! Your children will grow out of the need for it..why not baby them while they are STILL BABIES? I'm now co sleeping with my third baby. My first 2 are ages 5 and 3 and they are now happily sleeping in their own rooms but they are more than welcome to sleep in our room if they want. Someone posted that your wife needs "help" or they see a divorce in your future. If anyone needs help it is you. You'd think that a father would want to love and nurture his children....not try to compete with them. Shame on you! Grow up!

~ A happy co-sleeping mama of 3 (and thank goodness my husband isn't a selfish nitwit like you).


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I hope that mom realizes what an ass he is and divorces him. Then he can meet his own damn needs.


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

i don't know why he thinks that throwing a temper tantrum like this is gonna make her WANT him in his bed. what a dumbass.


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## Mavournin (Jul 9, 2002)

I saw this on my local news (Philadelphia) last night and the reporters were all chuckling after the tape aired about how much of a strain having the kids in bed can be, and _we all know what that means_ wink wink nudge nudge. It made me want to vomit.

I hope his wife is strong in her convictions - and lets him rot up there.

Mama, if you're out there in MDC, know that we supprt you and you are doing the right thing!


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## plantmommy (Jun 7, 2004)

Oops, I guess I should have looked at the other posts before starting a new thread, but I am so PO'd at this guy that I was in too much of a hurry!


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## Zyla (Nov 27, 2005)

What a pig.


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

My Response:

Waa for you and your sex life. Cry me a river.

Is your house so small that you only have one room to enjoy marital conjugation? You can look up that last word in a dictionary if you don't know what it means.

Are you so uncreative as to never find other options/rooms? Maybe that's why you don't get enough. I notice she's not begging you to come back home...

Funny, for a marketing guy, you'd think you'd be more creative. Get work much?

We cosleep with our kids, but finding alternate times and places for love isn't a problem. Because we're creative.

You're lucky if she doesn't divorce you. All of America can now see who is the biggest baby in your home. I'm sure she doesn't need a third right now.


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Let me preface by saying we practiced co-sleeping up until my son's 3rd b-day. The *only* reason why we are in the process of getting ds to sleep in his bed, is because my husband wants our bed back to ourselves. He has expressed this for about 2 years, and has sleeped in another room, or on the couch several times. Of course *I* love sleeping with ds....the husbnad is over it!
When we got married, we agreed that our marriage was a *partnership*. We don't do "it's my way or the highway". I think the issue of selfishness falls on the mother's in this case, not entirely on the father's. They are ignoring the needs of their husbands, and ignoring the feelings of their husbands. A compromise can be made to make everybody happy. It appears that there is NO compromise being made by anybody. IMO, an intact peaceful family and home is more important than co-sleeping. MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
Let me preface by saying we practiced co-sleeping up until my son's 3rd b-day. The *only* reason why we are in the process of getting ds to sleep in his bed, is because my husband wants our bed back to ourselves. He has expressed this for about 2 years, and has sleeped in another room, or on the couch several times. Of course *I* love sleeping with ds....the husbnad is over it!
When we got married, we agreed that our marriage was a *partnership*. We don't do "it's my way or the highway". I think the issue of selfishness falls on the mother's in this case, not entirely on the father's. They are ignoring the needs of their husbands, and ignoring the feelings of their husbands. A compromise can be made to make everybody happy. It appears that there is NO compromise being made by anybody. IMO, an intact peaceful family and home is more important than co-sleeping. MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.









I completely agreee that everybody's feeling have to be taken into account.

BUT. There are times in our lives when we as adults have to MANAGE those feelings in an appropriate manner.

So if when I was in labor and called my husband a "***er ***er" and screamed at him and squeezed his hand so it bruised - he could have too said "oh, my feelings are hurt!" and went on the roof to demonstrate how unconsidered of his feelings I was, I think he would not have been my husband for much longer. Instead we both laugh at it now. You know why? Because he understood - that was the time when he had to manage his feelings in lieu of *my* feelings. Instead he chose to encourage me all throughout my labor.

In the situation we are discussing we are talking about 2-3 month old baby that has the audacity to "refuse" to fall asleep anywhere but in the mother's arms. Doh! That's the way babies are! And if the husband in this case would choose to HELP his family in this testing time (and it IS a testing time when you have a 2yo AND a newborn in your house) - I think this would be a compromise, not throwing a tantrum on the roof.

Don't get me started on the other "hurt feelings" of his, like the diapers in the room, etc., - this is life!
Compromise in this case should be initiated by HIM, not the overwhelmed, overstressed, post-partum woman.


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
Let me preface by saying we practiced co-sleeping up until my son's 3rd b-day. The *only* reason why we are in the process of getting ds to sleep in his bed, is because my husband wants our bed back to ourselves.. IMO, an intact peaceful family and home is more important than co-sleeping... MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.









Three month olds are totally different than three year olds. The ability to verbally communicate, for one. This isn't just about cosleeping but about meeting a BABY'S needs. Dad's needs can just hold on, or he can be creative (how about a sidecar? How about a mattress on the floor? No - he just wants them all out of the room, altogether), or he can help out so mom feels the desire in the first place. Whining about diapers. Gimme a freakin' break.

Most people of our generation have all sorts of insecurities and psychological disorders, counseling bills and poor relationships with their parents...and it wasn't because they got their needs met as a baby. They grew up in the Spock and Ferber generations. Maybe this husband wouldn't be so friggin selfish if his needs had been met as a young child.


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## True Blue (May 9, 2003)

Go vote on GMA http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1780687 and show support for the mama!!!


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
Let me preface by saying we practiced co-sleeping up until my son's 3rd b-day. The *only* reason why we are in the process of getting ds to sleep in his bed, is because my husband wants our bed back to ourselves. He has expressed this for about 2 years, and has sleeped in another room, or on the couch several times. Of course *I* love sleeping with ds....the husbnad is over it!
When we got married, we agreed that our marriage was a *partnership*. We don't do "it's my way or the highway". I think the issue of selfishness falls on the mother's in this case, not entirely on the father's. They are ignoring the needs of their husbands, and ignoring the feelings of their husbands. A compromise can be made to make everybody happy. It appears that there is NO compromise being made by anybody. IMO, an intact peaceful family and home is more important than co-sleeping. MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.










I am with you. I do not think what he is doing is the best solution, but I can definitely see his point.

A compromise by BOTH of them would be best. It should not be ALL her way, nor all his way.


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## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

I just left my opinion on his website. I called him a donkey....but I used the other word for it


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinkerBelle*
A compromise by BOTH of them would be best. It should not be ALL her way, nor all his way.

I was under the impression that it wasn't all her way. It seems it is all baby's way, the babe wants to sleep in her arms and she is allowing it. Nothing wrong with that.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

uke WHAT A JERK!!!

I love this comment posted on his site:

Quote:

am a 14 yr old guy, and if you were my Dad, I would be so embarassed I'd never speak to you again. Sometimes I think my Dad is a jerk, but you are the king of jerks. If my Dad ever did what you are doing to your wife to my Mom I would hate him, and probably just punch him in the face, to heck with respecting your elders. Man, you suck.


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## Mavournin (Jul 9, 2002)

He's just deleting comments on his blog from those who don't agree with him. I guess he's man enough to sleep on the roof, but not man enough to take a little criticism. What an


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TechnoGranola*
I was under the impression that it wasn't all her way. It seems it is all baby's way, the babe wants to sleep in her arms and she is allowing it. Nothing wrong with that.

Of course there is nothing wrong with rocking your child to sleep or holding them.

But that is not the point here. The point is she is telling her husband she will get back to him in 3-4 years. She is not trying to compromise at all IMO. Even the most AP mamas on here could make a compromise of some sort to help things if needed.

Now, to be fair, yes, the child is rather young. And the husband could give it a little more time. But, I honestly think he has a point. Abeit he could have expressed his feelings in a more productive way.

You cannot just totally forget your marriage, and the needs of your husband because you have children. And before someone decides to flame, I do not mean you just let your child lie there and scream and whine while you get "busy" or even if you are just having dinner and being together. But, the man has feelings too. If my husband ignored my needs and told me I would have to wait 3-4 yrs, I would tell him where to go and how to get there.


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## Tofu the Geek (Dec 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinkerBelle*
But that is not the point here. The point is she is telling her husband she will get back to him in 3-4 years. She is not trying to compromise at all IMO. Even the most AP mamas on here could make a compromise of some sort to help things if needed.

I kind of figured her comment was more of a joke or snide remark to him after he told her he didn't want the baby in bed anymore. I was figuring he may not have approached in the best way so he got a rude comment in return from her, not that she actually meant it seriously. She did mention that she could go on a date in a month or two so obviously her 3-4 year comment was an exaggeration. Everything is really a guess as we only have some news articles and blogs to figure out what actually went on.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TechnoGranola*
I kind of figured her comment was more of a joke or snide remark to him after he told her he didn't want the baby in bed anymore. I was figuring he may not have approached in the best way so he got a rude comment in return from her, not that she actually meant it seriously. She did mention that she could go on a date in a month or two so obviously her 3-4 year comment was an exaggeration. Everything is really a guess as we only have some news articles and blogs to figure out what actually went on.

Yeah, only a few articles will not tell the whole story.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.









Well you are posting in the family bed section and almost everyone on this site is for cosleeping, so year, you would be in the minority.


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## Bartock (Feb 2, 2006)

I think this guy SUCKS. I usually don't co-sleep since DS 6 months has been sleeping 10-12 hour a night till 2 weeks ago. I bring him in my bed when he gets up and feed him and he stays with us till morning. My DH has mentioned a few times that DS woke him up again when I brought him in bed, I got mad that he said that, I thought how dare you, I have to meet his needs and feed and cuddle him, but all you have to do is fall back asleep. Then the nice person I am asked DH if he wanted me to get up and feed him in the living room then put him back in his crib. Dh said nope don't worry about it I don't mind if he sleeps with us. Now who's the jerk? ME!! LOL.. My Dh is such a good man and I really need to give him more credit sometimes.


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## gypsy4360 (Sep 20, 2005)

I can't believe this guy. There are so many people like him too. When my oldest son was born, we had to stay in the hosp. I was allowed to keep him in my room. I had a nurse come in and tell me then that I shouldn't let him sleep with me like that. He would get spoiled to the body heat and I'd never get him out of my bed. He is now two and starting to want to sleep in his own bed. Some nights he goes straight to his own room and yells "night night", other times he goes straight to my room. I let him do what feels right for him at the time. I actually hate that he is starting to want to sleep on his own. I know that my nights with him are now numbered. Thank God for my precious husband who supports me and the needs of our children.


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TinkerBelle*

You cannot just totally forget your marriage, and the needs of your husband because you have children. And before someone decides to flame, I do not mean you just let your child lie there and scream and whine while you get "busy" or even if you are just having dinner and being together. But, the man has feelings too. If my husband ignored my needs and told me I would have to wait 3-4 yrs, I would tell him where to go and how to get there.

exactly!!


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sharlla*
Well you are posting in the family bed section and almost everyone on this site is for cosleeping, so year, you would be in the minority.

I'm well aware of the forum I'm posting in.....what I meant is I believe I'm in the minority because I'm making as case for the dad.
I'm an advocate for co-sleeping, but I realize it doesn't work for *everybody*.


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## Mavournin (Jul 9, 2002)

Yes, but it is working for this mother and her baby. Her husband needs to step back and realize that there are other people in that house with needs beside him. And I'm sorry, but I think that an infant's needs are more important than a grown man who can take care of himself.


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

I saw this story on CNN this morning. It made me so mad. Even DH was surprised a guy would go to such lengths for something that should have remained private.

I can't keep my big mouth shut so I left a 3 paragraph comment on his stupid site.


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## BetsyPage (Mar 5, 2004)

Oh, I just posted this in another thread, I'll post what I did again here.









OK, first please do NOT go to his blog. But if you *did* go to his blog, you would notice that he has a bunch of ads to the side... a friend of mine on another board noticed this, and became curious and did some searches on various info on his blog, and she thinks that it is a money-making scheme possibly... I encouraged her to email the local ABC affliate here, which she did... here is some of what she sent:

Quote:

I have a strong suspicion that the husband on strike is just a PR stunt in order to get people to visit his site and click on adsense ads. In doing searches on google, I've run across his name, and/or a phone number for several other sites, that all seemed gimmicky.

The e-mail address on his blog is [email protected] which led to the toiletpolitics.com a site from 2004 with john kerry and george w bush on it. There was a phone number listed with that site and googling that phone number led to several other sites, no longer available as sites but the descriptions still in google...

http://www.TheBreakUpBox.COM/
http://www.AmazingInstantMate.com/

I also did a whois on godaddy.com for www.husbandonstrike.com, which led to another phone number, and a search for that one showed that the same guy put his mortgage up for auction on ebay.

Just seems like one more scheme in a long line of PR schemes...

As an attached parent, this saddens me. I was really upset by the story and the disregard for his 2 month old's needs. If it does turn out to be a publicity stunt, it makes it that much more sad.

I tend to agree with her- I think that after the big SAHM/WOHM debate on ABC recently (Linda Hirschman) that he decided to try to take advantage of some free publicity to make money.


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mavournin*
Yes, but it is working for this mother and her baby. Her husband needs to step back and realize that there are other people in that house with needs beside him. And I'm sorry, but I think that an infant's needs are more important than a grown man who can take care of himself.

The child's needs ARE important, I agree whole heartedly. I still stand by my opinion though. That bed is his, as much as it is his wife's. That house is his, as much as it is his wife's. Their marriage is a partnership. Love, honor and respect. I see no honor or respect being prioritised by either the mom or dad. When the dad expressed disagreement with the idea of co-sleeping, the wife should've said, "ok, how can we make a compromise".
The suggestion in this thread that she should divorce him just FLOORS me!! Is that really the best solution here? Is a broken family what is in the best interest for the kids? Absolutely not!
My husband is just as important to me as my son is. I don't think the husband is being unreasonable in wanting to have his bed to himself and his wife. His actions are a bit over the top, I'll give y'all that. What's ridiculous though, is that it has gotten this far, and the wife is going along with it. Seems to me that it has become an issue of pride. Niether one of them wants to be the first to back down......great parenting *insert sarcasm*


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## Free Thinker (Jan 1, 2003)

Hey, did you know the guy is winning onthe ABC poll :







s head:: I did go to the blog, and leave a message. Can't seem to find it now, though! I suggested he get No Cry Sleep Solution by Eliz. Pantley, and this morning I noticed EP has left a message there, too!

The husband is so selfish, if he really thinks co-sleeping is a problem. What about his wife's sleep! She needs that more than he needs ummm... errrrr.. you KWIM...


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

This has nothing to do with the kids in the bed and EVERYTHING to do with Dad. He's got issues and is using the kids in the bed for an excuse. I can not even imagine my dh PUBLICLY airing our family issues for the world to see, and debate. I would feel so violated. And for me, him doing this is bigger than him not wanting the kids in the bed. And...um...how did mom get pregnant with #2 if he wasn't getting any???? Looks like things are fine there. And um...babe is 3 months old. What did he think was going to happen when #2 came? Who wants to bet he doesn't do anything to help nightime parent these kids so mom of course does what is easiest and co sleeps with them.

The fact that he did this so publicly just infuriates me....jerk!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Did anybody else notice that he:

1) said his baby "refuses" to fall asleep
2) said his wife was "spoiling" the kids (spoiling a less than 3-month-old!!)
3) "estimated" his son's bedtime at 11:30 - what does an estimate mean?

He's got some kind of issue about his kids. I wonder if his next line will be that the kids are manipulating his wife into paying attention to them...

At less than 3 months pp, while chasing dd around, I think I'd have smacked dh if he was pushing me to be more romantic or have more alone time.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I read on one of the comments on the blog that this guy is A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER! Omgosh....


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama*
I read on one of the comments on the blog that this guy is A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER! Omgosh....

Yeah, me too. James Wilson of Redford MI, age 34 is on the registered sex offenders site http://mipsor.state.mi.us/mipsor/cgi-bin/mipsorn.exe. I wonder if it is really him







:


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## beansavi (Jun 26, 2005)

This dude is acting like a rebellious teenager, NOT a husband. I'd be calling a lawyer if my husband slandered me like that!


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## risala (Jan 21, 2006)

Okay, I just wasted 20 minutes of my life reading the comments on his blog, but this one was just the inspiration I needed after another long night of my son kicking me in his sleep....

Dear Dad, I was once a mom who held my kid till he fell asleep at night, cuddled with him if he had a bad dream, etc, etc... Now, I savor every moment that I did and will NEVER regret it. After valiently serving his country at war, my son, Ian, was tragically killed. He had grown into a kind, unselfish, brave, intelligent man who was only too happy to serve his country to enable folks like you the freedom to sit on a roof and start a web site to tell the world why. PLEASE, PLEASE follow your wife's lead: savor every sight, smell, feel of your kids. Remember every baby coo and giggle, the scent of baby powder on their clean, soft skin, the look in their eyes as they open, only half-awake and drift back to sleep contently after finding their mom AND dad are there to keep them safe.
I promise you that you won't regret it. It will only seem like tomorrow that they walk out the door to begin lives of their own. Yes, you may loose some romantic opportunities along the way, but I promise you, you won't regret it. Go be the leader of your family...your wife needs a partner and your kids need their dad.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

The 3rd post on his blog shows a picture of him, there is also a picture of the sex offender "James Wilson" on the MI SOR...I can't tell if it's the same guy or not.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *risala*
Dear Dad, I was once a mom who held my kid till he fell asleep at night, cuddled with him if he had a bad dream, etc, etc... Now, I savor every moment that I did and will NEVER regret it. After valiently serving his country at war, my son, Ian, was tragically killed. He had grown into a kind, unselfish, brave, intelligent man who was only too happy to serve his country to enable folks like you the freedom to sit on a roof and start a web site to tell the world why. PLEASE, PLEASE follow your wife's lead: savor every sight, smell, feel of your kids. Remember every baby coo and giggle, the scent of baby powder on their clean, soft skin, the look in their eyes as they open, only half-awake and drift back to sleep contently after finding their mom AND dad are there to keep them safe.
I promise you that you won't regret it. It will only seem like tomorrow that they walk out the door to begin lives of their own. Yes, you may loose some romantic opportunities along the way, but I promise you, you won't regret it. Go be the leader of your family...your wife needs a partner and your kids need their dad.


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## BetsyPage (Mar 5, 2004)

I was just coming here to post about the sex offender thing...yep it is definitely the same guy. When I first heard about it I just had a bad, bad feeling. UGHHHH!!!!

WHY ARE THE MEDIA OUTLETS RUNNING THIS GUY'S STORY AS A SERIOUS THING???? I am just in shock over this. Truly.


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## pinkmilk (Nov 27, 2005)

sex-offender = control-freak = husband-on-strike = selfish jerk.

All makes perfect sense.


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## Zamber (May 4, 2005)

uke uke uke uke uke uke uke uke

Ahh....no, wait a minute not quite done yet....uke

There, I think I'm done. Now I need to go brush my teeth


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

It seems his "webpage" is no longer there, just a bunch of adds... It probably started raining....


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## mrmsmommy (Feb 18, 2005)

Sounds like it is him...

08475173
Name: WILSON/JAMES// Sex: M Race: B Dob: 11/29/1972
Height: 508 Weight: 130 Hair: BLACK Eye: BROWN
Address: 15759 WORMER City: REDFORD TWP State: MI Zip: 48239
Offense: 750.520C Description: CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT 2ND DEGREE (MULTIPLE VARIABLES)

http://mipsor.state.mi.us/mipsor/images/08475173.jpg


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## Mavournin (Jul 9, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
The child's needs ARE important, I agree whole heartedly. I still stand by my opinion though. That bed is his, as much as it is his wife's. That house is his, as much as it is his wife's. Their marriage is a partnership. Love, honor and respect. I see no honor or respect being prioritised by either the mom or dad. When the dad expressed disagreement with the idea of co-sleeping, the wife should've said, "ok, how can we make a compromise".
The suggestion in this thread that she should divorce him just FLOORS me!! Is that really the best solution here? Is a broken family what is in the best interest for the kids? Absolutely not!
My husband is just as important to me as my son is. I don't think the husband is being unreasonable in wanting to have his bed to himself and his wife. His actions are a bit over the top, I'll give y'all that. What's ridiculous though, is that it has gotten this far, and the wife is going along with it. Seems to me that it has become an issue of pride. Niether one of them wants to be the first to back down......great parenting *insert sarcasm*

I was not one to say that she should divorce him. But as a child of divorced parents, I feel like I must stand up and say that not all divorced households are "broken families". In fact, in my particular experience, my parents getting divorced made me a much happier and well adjusted child. Living with parents who fought constantly was hellacious. Afterwards I had two peaceful and loving homes instead of one sad and scary one.

But, to get back on topic, I think it's clear to everyone that this guy's marriage has more issues than who sleeps in what bed and how much sex they have. To take to your roof over an infant in the marital bed tells me that there is something else there.

I think maybe you cannot see that blog if you are linking from MDC, because if I try the link in the OP I get a blank page, but if I type in the address I get it right away. I think maybe we've been blocked.

Sex offender?


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## iveyrock (Nov 1, 2005)

So I was going to stay out of this, but my two quick thoughts are:
Some people are saying that he has a right to be upset about cosleeping. I will agree that it needs to be a mutual decision, or at least compromise. But the issue for me isn't that he objects to cosleeping, it's the WAY he is going about doing it. If my husband objected to cosleeping, we would find a way to work it out. If my huband moved onto the roof and threw a national temper tantrum... I would definitly be changing the locks.
Also, I keep thinking, what on earth is this guy telling his toddler when he asks why daddy is living on the roof?
Amber - happily cosleeping momm to Ian 2/17/05


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *iveyrock*
So I was going to stay out of this, but my two quick thoughts are:
Some people are saying that he has a right to be upset about cosleeping. I will agree that it needs to be a mutual decision, or at least compromise. But the issue for me isn't that he objects to cosleeping, it's the WAY he is going about doing it. If my husband objected to cosleeping, we would find a way to work it out.

Honestly..this is all I'm trying to say. I'm not sticking up for the guy personally, or his actions (which are juvenile at best)...just the reason why he's doing this. I'm floored that it has gone this far....and the wife is allowing it!! The whole thing is ridiculous!!

Mavournin....I absolutely agree with you (and I know you didn't suggest divorce) I come from a broken home, not a civil divorce situation. I have known very few intact famillies in my life. I know of one person (my husband) who didn't have to endure a bad family split. His parents were civil and remained close friends for the sake of their son. I'm a firm believer in fighting for a marriage, especially when there are children involved...but alas, not everybody can work things out, and divorce is the best option in those cases.
Also, I agree with you about there being other issues in this marriage....it isn't just about the co-sleeping. There is obvious termoil between the two of them, and this display of poor behavior falls on both of the parents IMO. I think both of them deserve a brow beating and a lesson in civility. They obviously have no ability to communicate properly. I feel sorry for the kids....the husband and wife deserve eachother as far as I'm concerned.

What woman has children with a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER??? and then expects him to be a compassionate father??? Seriously...I can't be the only momma who has a problem with this! This woman needs to wake up and smell the da*n coffee!!!!


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
Let me preface by saying we practiced co-sleeping up until my son's 3rd b-day. The *only* reason why we are in the process of getting ds to sleep in his bed, is because my husband wants our bed back to ourselves. He has expressed this for about 2 years, and has sleeped in another room, or on the couch several times. Of course *I* love sleeping with ds....the husbnad is over it!
When we got married, we agreed that our marriage was a *partnership*. We don't do "it's my way or the highway". I think the issue of selfishness falls on the mother's in this case, not entirely on the father's. They are ignoring the needs of their husbands, and ignoring the feelings of their husbands. A compromise can be made to make everybody happy. It appears that there is NO compromise being made by anybody. IMO, an intact peaceful family and home is more important than co-sleeping. MOST people in my generation (30 somethings) slept in cribs....I have yet to meet a person of any age who has hangups about sleeping in a crib. Seriously, I feel bad for the husbands, and I realize that I'm totally in the minority.









Babies don't understand compromise. This is about the baby's need not the mothers and fathers.

And have you noticed how many new sleep medications that are on the market now? I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't related to the bad sleep habits our parents gave us as children.


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## mrmsmommy (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frenchie*
What woman has children with a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER??? and then expects him to be a compassionate father??? Seriously...I can't be the only momma who has a problem with this! This woman needs to wake up and smell the da*n coffee!!!!

That is something I do not understand either.
I would never put my child at risk living with a man who is a sex offender.


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

It *IS* him http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...EWS11/60331006


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
It *IS* him http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...EWS11/60331006

Interesting.

Especially this line: "I feel like, wow, in 24 hours, I was a king, helping families and inspiring men and now I'm the scum of the earth," he said.

ehhhhh...maybe I might have phrased that differently...


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamao'two*
Babies don't understand compromise. This is about the baby's need not the mothers and fathers.

And have you noticed how many new sleep medications that are on the market now? I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't related to the bad sleep habits our parents gave us as children.


I agree that the baby's needs are paramount....however, there is a compromise that can be made in this case that could satisfy everybody, and meet the nedds of each person.

As for the second part of your post...no, I don't think it has anything to do with what you are aluding to. I slept in a crib, and I have always, and still do sleep very well. My husband slept in a crib, and has always been, and still is a very restless sleeper. I think the reason we're seeing so many sleeping aids on the market now, is because of the food we eat, the amount of caffeine we drink and the lifestyles we lives.....I don't think it has anything to do with childhood sleeping habits.


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## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *irinam*
It *IS* him http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...EWS11/60331006


It does not say WHAT he did, though. Let's be fair until we find out. "Sex Offender" can be anything from a rapist/child molester, down to just mooning someone, or even peeing in a bush and getting caught. Not that I would advocate doing either of those, but still. Until we can find out what he did, we cannot really assume too much.

I would not put a person who was silly and mooned people, in with a child molester or rapist.

I am intrigued though.


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## Maple Leaf Mama (Jul 2, 2004)

This guy is having the adult version of a temper tantrum. I'm going to go on the roof and pout until you change your mind and do as I say.. So THERE!!!

What a jerk!


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## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

I agree with TinkerBelle








Like I've said many times, I came This__ close to becoming a sex offender when I was 18 & almost sold a 17 year old a porn mag at a conv. store I worked in, Happens more often then people think.


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

well if it were such a tiny thing he'd probably be singing that to the rooftops as well (pun intended). if it were something so minor he wouldn't be talking about how he's been saved, he's a new man, he's changed, blah friggin blah. if it were so minor, why isn't he rattling off exactly what happened? explaining himself? he's clearly not one to avoid airing his dirty laundry...although i suppose it depends on exactly how dirty it is.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Just to make light of a horrible situation, had to link to my hero, Hathor the Cow Goddess...

http://www.thecowgoddess.com/archshow.asp?var=228

Hope that can bring a little laugh everyone's way!


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## frenchie (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *darsmama*
I agree with TinkerBelle








Like I've said many times, I came This__ close to becoming a sex offender when I was 18 & almost sold a 17 year old a porn mag at a conv. store I worked in, Happens more often then people think.

2nd degree *criminal sexual conduct*.....I'm sure it's not something as trivial as what you almost got listed for.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I hope he has a nice time sleeping on the couch!


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## Zyla (Nov 27, 2005)

Sounds serious to me.

Quote:

Wilson is listed on Michigan's public sex offender registry and acknowledged that he faced *multiple charges* in an *assault* and pled guilty to a lesser charge and served five years probation.
(bold mine)

I sure hope that mama sees the light and gets her children safely away from him.


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

If any husband is in such dire emotional need of being next to his wife all night long, at the expense of isolating their baby and denying the baby's instinctive and biological need for that constant physical contact... yes, I feel sorry for the husband, because he has some serious issues, and I doubt his wife giving in and "compromising" is going to fix them.


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## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

This man has serious emotional issues.

As does the woman if she knowingly married and had children with a sex offender.

Neither, in my opinion, are people in a suitable position to raise healthy children.

However as far as the 'strike' is concerned, the mother is in the right.

The needs of an infant take precedence over the needs of adults. That's parenting. That's life. It's time for him to grow up and accept the responsibilities of being a father. If he can't, then he has no business being a father.

Not that he should have ever been given the opportunity to be one in the first place.


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## mrmsmommy (Feb 18, 2005)

I just think it is stupid on his part, knowing that he is a registered sex offender, to do something immature as going on strike because his wife won't take the kids out of their bedroom.
I mean, did he really think this wasn't going to leak out?
We're not in the 1950's anymore where we didn't have google to google things up.


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## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

I haven't read all the posts but i just saw this story on CNN a few minutes ago.uke

What @#$%@# jerk! He says and I quote,"You were married to me before them I am more important." Than your kids!!!!!!!?







We are just a bit selfish here. I think it has more to do with him wanting attention than the actual subject.

I am not going to even look at the petition because I know it will just piss me off! Thanks for the vent







I feel better.


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## redwolf2 (Jan 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fourlittlebirds*
If any husband is in such dire emotional need of being next to his wife all night long, at the expense of isolating their baby and denying the baby's instinctive and biological need for that constant physical contact...









He's probably like this because his parents didn't co-sleep with him!!!


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

I have just read and signed the online petition:

"The Husband on Strike is Wrong..."

http://www.PetitionOnline.com/moo1234/

I personally agree with what this petition says, and I think you might
agree, too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look, and consider
signing yourself.

Best wishes,

Emily Troper


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## Desdamona (May 2, 2003)

Glad to see this here, Emily. I was just loggin in to spread the word.









Go sign!! EVERYBODY!!


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## Janice in Canada (Sep 11, 2003)

More to the story - dad is a registered sex offender

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a...WS02/604010330

James Wilson, the Redford Township roof-sitting husband whose story about his strike for more time with his wife was featured Tuesday in the Free Press, got attention across the country this week for his humorous protest.

Now he's getting unwanted attention -- as someone on the Michigan sex offender roster.

In 1995, Wilson pleaded guilty to second-degree criminal sexual conduct, an aspect of his life he didn't disclose in dozens of interviews with the news media this week.

"I just felt people would judge me on who I am today, not snoop around and expose a guy," Wilson, 33, said Friday.

(see link for full article)

Janice


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## BelgianSheepDog (Mar 31, 2006)

OK I am sorry but LOL, if he didn't want that fact coming out, maybe he shouldn't have shamelessly wooed the media with his immature attention-grabbing stunt in the first place. What a jerk. A *stupid* jerk.


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## anhaga (May 26, 2005)

Love the pro-family-bed petition!

I can't even imagine a bed being hostile to little children, much less a 2mo and a 2yo.


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