# ~*February '08 Mamas and Toddlers*~ Spring Thread!! *April-June*



## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Howdy mamas...I figured I'd make us a thread that can go a little longer since we all seem to be busy lately.

We're doing ok here. The kids have been getting outside a lot more which is great. We have another puppy, Cleo, (she's 7 mo) add to the mix. She's a walker hound and very sweet. The lady we got her from rescued her from her owner her was treating her like a hunting dog (horrible to say the least) and she evidently wasn't a good one. She fed her and got her fattened up and she's just sweet as pie







Jamie (our husky/lab mix) is getting along with her famously and is definitely handling it better than we had Blue (the male Pit Bull.)

Steven is potty learning. He's doing really great about telling us although if they get playing outside too long sometimes he forgets or we forget to remind him to go (at one point he just took his pants off and peed on the concrete outside lol)

His vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. I can really tell how much of a difference it makes having an older sibling because Austin wasn't nearly this literate at 2.

At our WIC apt. a week ago Steven was 35lbs and 35 inches tall. Austin was 42 lbs 42in...I have square children lol. Of course they were trying to tell me Steven is heavy...I'm like have you seen him?! He's a solid mass of little muscles. Yes he does eat alot, but we're not looking at lunchables and chips and cake and candy all day. The kid loves his veggies. He had 3 servings of mixed veggies on Easter. I have no worries about him.

Austin will be 4 on the 2nd of May. I can hardly believe its already been that long...next year he'll be ready for school of some sort although I'm wondering if Michael is gonna look to put him in Pre-K here. I think he'd enjoy it and do very well. Maybe not all day everyday, but a few times a week for a couple hours.

Tristyn is smiling and cooing a bit. She's 9 weeks old already and I can tell she is taking after my side of the family. She looks a lot like Austin did. We're still nursing and I'm still pumping when I can for work/school time. Just praying I can keep up with her demand (and keep schooling Michael not to OVERfeed her because he sometimes does that.)

I started school yesterday and I think I'll enjoy it although I miss being on the compound. Thankfully I get plenty of breaks during the day so I can pump. I'm hoping I'll be able to build up a stash to have on hand again when I go back to work in August.


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Yes, this DDC has quietened down a lot!!

In our news, I am preggers! At the moment anyway. The baby will be due on the 11th december, 3 days after my mum's birthday, so that is kind of neat. I am much more excited than I thought I would be.... but also still processing that...

Now I can obsess about how to have a homebirth again







I seem to need something to obsess about, although I am trying to control that.

For now I am still nursing Hillel and I would like to for as long as is possible. (Sarah Lynne, I keep the image in my mind of you tandem nursing Steven and Tristyn after your last birth)

What happened to Helen?I see her on facebook when I remember to log in, but it's been ages since she posted here


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ema-adama* 
Yes, this DDC has quietened down a lot!!

In our news, I am preggers! At the moment anyway. The baby will be due on the 11th december, 3 days after my mum's birthday, so that is kind of neat. I am much more excited than I thought I would be.... but also still processing that...

Now I can obsess about how to have a homebirth again







I seem to need something to obsess about, although I am trying to control that.

For now I am still nursing Hillel and I would like to for as long as is possible. (Sarah Lynne, I keep the image in my mind of you tandem nursing Steven and Tristyn after your last birth)

What happened to Helen?I see her on facebook when I remember to log in, but it's been ages since she posted here

Congrats Momma!! I would love a Dec. baby SOMEDAY...lol! As for the tandem nursing you can totally do it! We haven't tandem nursed in a while although Steven still nurses about once a day. He's such a big boy that it isn't easy to get everyone settled in a comfortable place to nurse together.

Same old same old here. DH and I are constantly fighting it seems. I wouldn't have a problem if he had a bad day with the kids and couldn't get something done. I get that! I've been there! However whenever he starts projects (like cleaning the yard up) and makes it *worse* than it was and leaves it, I mean what am I supposed to do? It's a freaking obstacle course trying to get to my front door. If I don't keep up on laundry none of it gets done. I did 1 load a day, as long as I had soap to wash it. I also had the livingroom/diningroom and kitchen cleaned up. Dishes may not have been done, but they were rinsed up so they didn't smell to high heaven or attract bugs. He goes on these cooking tangents and leaves the kitchen covered in flour, grease, and everything else. It's beyond my ability to comprehend. It's definately putting a strain on us to have the roles reversed. He has this grand plan to run off to TN and buy some land and homestead forever more. I'm ok with that. I'd love to do that, but not right now. Not when I'm just starting this job and training. And that's all he talks about. "Do you hate your job yet?" "Ready to move?" "How's TN looking now?" All.The.Time. How is that supposed to make me feel? I told him the other night if he was so dead set on TN that he could go on his way, because I'm tired of being made to feel like I'm the horrible thing holding him back.


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## FelixMom (Aug 28, 2006)

Congrats to Ema!

Our family is complete at 3 little people. Maybe if I had met DH earlier, I might have considered having a large brood. At 37 yrs now, I don't think I want to push fate to see if we could have another healthy baby, and another...

DS2 talks up a storm. I love to hear his little voice chatter away. Every moment is slightly bitter-sweet, as this will be the last time there will be a child this young in the house. When he is nakey-bum, he knows exactly what to do, and I don't even need to remind him. He tells me when he has a #2 because he knows that wiping is involved.

We put an offer on a house this past Good Friday, and it was accepted, conditional to financing and inspection. Inspection was yesterday, and we see the bank tomorrow. We anxiously await the inspection report, as it will give us ammo to reopen negotiations regarding the price. The ground floor of the 100 yr triplex is in fantastic shape, and the stone foundations in the basement are built solid. All we have to do is keep moisture and humidity at bay to preserve the foundations.

Mommy2Austin, that's great that you are resuming your studies, getting time to do your own thing not related to being a mom. I'll gradually ease myself into more paid employment by the time DS2 is in school full time, a few years from now.


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

Hi mommies!! I think since no one linked to the new thread, some of us got lost? Anyway -- glad to find you.

Things are ok here. One minute everything feels fine, the next I feel completely overwhelmed and like a total failure. Robin has been... DIFFICULT. She is so emotional. She can be very hard to deal with. I feel terrible about how unhappy she seems to be much of the time. I need more local friends.

Holly is 10 weeks, a total gem. She sleeps better than Robin







.

Trying to get my head in the school game... meh. Need a vacation, and a good nights' rest.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

megan! congrats!!

sarah lynne thanks for the thread.

felixmom- i hope your house bid goes through!! you must be really excited!

lauren- i just registered for classes and i'm nervous about my schedule. i'm sorry robin is having a rough go of it, is it her 2-year molars?

i'm pretty sure helen is just busy. i see her around on another board i'm on so i know she is around.

we're trying to start pl. i think it's mostly lagging because my dh is really comfortable with diapers and he watches her during the day. i'm promising myself to work on it as i can.

okay, off to do dishes with the meep!


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Congratulations, Megan!


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

Congrats, Megan!









I think I have PPD







. It sucks.

Robin woke up 4 times last night. I need to get her to sleep better but I don't know how without lots of screaming







.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Lauren-







I know how ya feel. I stopped taking my meds because of $$ and I'm back to having anxiety and depression. It sucks.

My first class test is tomorrow. It's an easy one so it shouldn't be a problem. If I ever get a chance to study









I got sunburned yesterday. Not too bad, but its still makes for yucky sleep.


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Lauren.







s That is a very hard place to be. I hope you are able to find the support you need now. You have such a lot going on at the moment.

Thanks all for the well wishes. I am still getting my head around this. One day excited and then one day irritable and anxious.... Hoping it will settle down.

Carrie, when do you move, or have you already moved?

NOS - I would love to cyber chat.... I keep missing you.

Sarah Lynne -







you get your study time and ace your test.


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

I had a post typed this morning and then my computer decided to restart so I lost it. And then this happened










and then a few hours later it happened again









I'm not sure how I feel yet, we want another one, were not preventing, but I've been doing really well losing weight and I want to keep going! I also kind of wanted a spring or summer baby next. I haven't told anyone, I'll tell DH tonight, I'm just sort of nervous and we just had a miscarriage so I'm feeling very cautious and nervous and I just don't know......

So I had to put this somewhere so here I am with my favorite ladies, I am not sharing this with anyone else (other than DH of course) for a while so mums the word on Facebook, okay?

And to top it off, I have no idea when it happened. I'm on cycle day 64 and was just testing for the heck of it, I don't have any symptoms and was really surprised when it was positive. I last tested negative 16 days ago and had some increased CM at that time so I'm guessing I'm at about 4.5 weeks in.








you all


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

vibes for you Sarah. That would be so cool to share a DDC with you again. I am 5w 4d

I too am ambivilant - and have been loosing weight, which now will not be happening.

I hope to see you soon in the Dec 2010 DDC


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

Thanks Megan, I am excited about sharing a DDC with an already DDC sister! I'm sorry about your grandma, I hope you are adjusting to your pregnancy. I think it's going to take me a little time this time.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Wow, congrats Sarah & Megan.







I've actually been thinking about more babies.







Seriously though... I think I'd like to have one in May or September of 2012. Have I completely lost my mind? I'm in love, though, and my new lover wants to have a baby with me and damn if it doesn't feel like a brilliant idea.







I told him that if I was ever to have another child it would have to be entirely unassisted, and his response was, "I'm your man." He's a really great guy, have I mentioned? They all are...







Anyhow, it's insane of me to even let the thought cross my mind, but we figure a year and a half will give us time to let reality settle in, if things are going to change.









I thought about it just today, though, because despite the fact that I'm 99% certain that I've already ovulated I'm still having fertile mucous. I was in the shower this morning puzzling over it, it's a bit strange for me to have so much going on down there at this point in my cycle.







No, I'm not pregnant, it was just weird and I've got babies on the brain. Ugh. What am I thinking?
















Bear ate some regular pretzels last night.







He just got hivey on his face, neck, and belly this time, there was no coughing or wheezing, and he got his benadryl right away. He was not pleased, but he was fine when he woke up.







Silly baby.

My brother is bringing his kids in from out of state this week, so over the weekend all ten of my mom's grandchildren will be together for pictures. I'm very excited about seeing them all together.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Sarah







and hooray for unexpected miracles.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Congrats Sarah! I know exactly how you are feeling about being pregnant. I felt that way when I found out I was pregnant with Tristyn. Pregnancy sometimes feels like a 10-12 month sentence of your life being out of sync. The end result is worht it, but the journey there is not always a cake walk.

I scored 96 on my test (I missed 2.) No problems there







PT is kicking my tail, but I'm not giving up. I need to get a better pair of shoes and a bra of mass purportions to hold the girls down because they don't want to stay hunkard down in the bra I have.

The anxiety is getting worse...I don't know what I'm going to do about it because we have *NO* money...However I'm back to feeling panicked for no reason to the point I'm nauseas. If I happen to be able to get back on medication I'm not sure I want the citalopram. The side effects on Zoloft aren't desirable though so I might just settle...


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Oh my word! All the newly pregnant mommas! Wow and congrats! You all are better women than I! I could never do it again, just not. But then we've got enough kids in our family that I"m plenty busy. Every once in a while I feel badly that DD will never have a partner in crime the way DSS and DSD are, but I could just not have another kid, even if DH hadn't been snipped. I honestly don't know how one gets through more than one post-partumy baby year(s). I just don't. You all are amazing women, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

I am squad leader for our class







(Paramilitary) Yeah I feel special....








some oatmeal to make sure my supply is up. Tristyn seems to be taking in quite a bit some nights while I'm in class (one night she had near 15 ounces from 11:30a-9pm) and other nights barely any (last night only 5 ounces until I got home.) I usually can get one good 20 minute (30 minutes with 5 minutes to set up and take down) double pumping session a night and occasionally a second rushed 15 minute session if I'm lucky. Michael is being really good about holding off the last hour to hour and a half before I get home.

She is getting so big already! I really need to get on Michael to take pictures during the day. She's smiling and cooing and just on the cusp of giggling. She can turn from her back to front and front to back for the most part and is getting the action of pushing up on her arms to look up.

Well I must be off to shine my boots. I had to fix my uniform last night because 4 buttons came off my shirt and my zipper seam had partially come undone...

Ooooo boy the oatmeal is already helping lol...


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## slgt (Feb 21, 2007)

Sarah, Megan, - congrats and sticky baby vibes to you!

Lauren - sorry to hear about the PPD, and the struggles you are going through with Robin. I read an article in Mothering the other day about the mama-guilt that comes with bringing a new baby home when there is already one in the house...I was crying after a paragraph (hormonal)...it's gotta be a hard adjustment, plus you are in school - a lot going on, go easy on yourself, ok?

Sarah Lynne, good luck figuring out the whole DH/TN thing, and I'm glad to hear you are enjoying your classes!

Things are ok here. Baby is growing away, I think s/he spun around this evening and I *think* is now head down. But I'm only 28 weeks, so it could change again.

I had a cold for 10 days that turned into a sinus infection, and I've had severe sinus pain and felt overall like crap for 2 additional weeks. After trying kinesiology, chiropractor, acupuncture, and some funky sinus-draining techniques, I finally gave in and started antibiotics for the first time in 10 years. I have to say, a mere 24 hours in, I am already feeling better.

The big news is that I just learned tonight that my dad has prostate cancer. I have trouble even typing/saying the word - it feels so foreign, so unreal. They don't yet know how aggressive it is; his pathology is unclear, so they are sending it to Johns Hopkins for further review and it will be another 2 weeks or so before they get a report back and can determine a course of action. I'm a bit numb, desperately wishing that they'd been able to give him some clear answers today. Other than, "you have cancer". It may be a highly aggressive form, or a very mildly aggressive form - they just can't tell.

Signing off on that happy note...DH just got home so giving him the news.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

HI everyone!
We just got back from a 3 week holiday to New Zealand and Australia, it was fun, but I'm exhausted. We didn't take a stroller and wore both children the whole time. It was okay in New Zealand because we rented a car, but in Australia it was horrible. Trixie didn't want to walk anywhere so we were carrying her and Hudson. I was dreaming of my lovely stroller. (and I am not a stroller girl at all, although I've managed to collect 4!)
Hudson is a wee moose. He's absolutely huge! Well considering what I'm used to. He's getting sweeter and sweeter by the day. He cooed and gurgled for everyone while on vacation and made quite an impact. Trixie was sweet and trying. I refuse to let people label her as being in the terrible twos, but she had some moments. She was just out of sorts, and I know it was hard on her, she had fun though. So many zoos and cultural centers, she had a great time.

Sarah and Megan, congrats! YAY for babies.

(OH and about babies! I ovulated and had EWCM!!! and we had sex, not meaning to coincide, but it happened. so I'm in a TWW, I'll let you all know if it's worth knowing!)

Sarah Lynn, thanks for the thread, I like the idea of multiple months! Also you've mentioned before that you don't want Trysten to overfeed. How can a baby overfeed? Won't they just take as much as they want? I ask because Hudson's bottles are getting bigger and bigger and I let him drink until he stops, but could I be overfeeding him? (I hate bottle feeding!!!)

Lauren, I"m sorry that you feel low. I wish I could help! lots and lots of virtual hugs.

Rynna-- hi!

NOS--hi!

Carrie-- hi! when do you move?

Oh and I forgot! Hudson giggles now. It's awfully sweet!


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dea* 
Sarah Lynn, thanks for the thread, I like the idea of multiple months! Also you've mentioned before that you don't want Trysten to overfeed. How can a baby overfeed? Won't they just take as much as they want? I ask because Hudson's bottles are getting bigger and bigger and I let him drink until he stops, but could I be overfeeding him? (I hate bottle feeding!!!)

This had to do with me making sure DH wasn't just popping a bottle in her mouth whenever she fussed. Plus don't forget some babies have really high sucking needs. Tristyn is the only one of my children to take a binky. Austin was bottle fed and never took one. Steven was EBF and never took one (not for lack of my MIL trying







) So for her I was worried about DH overfeeding her when she wasn't really hungry. If you're worried about Hudson overeating (although at this age it doesn't hold much water to me because they aren't gonna get fat  ) you could try making his bottle smaller to start and then just making a small (1-1.5 oz) bottle if he's still acting fussy/hungry.

Well its finally the weekend for me







and Tristyn is fussing again so I must scurry!


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## birthmommom (Apr 25, 2004)

subbing late again...almost done with school and looking forward to catching up.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Dea, that is so exciting about the EWCM!!!! I: had none at all when I was TTCing Terran, but since his birth, I've had tons. I miscalculated my October insem and did it a bit too early and then in March KD's work schedule didn't co-operate, in April Chris was having too many growing pains for me to feel comfortable woth the time, expense, and energy dissipation, so now we'll see what happens in May.

I've heard of women's fertility getting a jump start after a miscarriage, so why not after a successful ART pregnancy or two?

I think we'd still be DDC sisters again if we both conceived.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

Sarah Lynn... hmmm... now I wonder if I am overfeeding Hudson. He does love to suck, but will not take a pacifier. He will spit out a nipple if he's had enough though. So I don't know. Ack. I worry too much I think.

NOS, it would be fun to be DDC sisters again. I doubt I"m pregnant, I could not be that lucky, but it was encouraging to feel fertile all on my own accord. I think that my body will slide back into it's "normal" state though. I think this is just my hormones sorting themselves out. It would be interesting though, then I'd have Irish twins! hee hee. But golly I wonder how my body would react. I'm still carrying my pregnancy weight and the weight I gained during the fertility treatments. I had/ have grand designs to lose it all before I get pregnant again. Hmmm... oh well I"ll never turn down a free pregnancy! (doesn't that sound funny?)


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Not as funny as my wishing I could meet a cute guy, take leave of my senses, and get blindsided by a totally unintentional and poorly timed pregnancy "just like everybody else" because I'm so over the whole donor scene.










I probably won't get pregnant either, but it's nice that Terran is getting some visits with the other source of his DNA at such a young age that he'll never know a time when he didn't know how he came to be and how very much he was wanted.

The visits aren't free, but they're worth it.


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## sunkist33 (Sep 19, 2007)

Big congrats to all the pregnant Mamas!!!
Big (((hugs))) Robin, sorry things have been difficult lately.

We've been trying to conceive for the past year with no luck...I think it may be due to the fact that Ocean still nurses 8x/ day or maybe my age (37) or maybe this HUGE fibroid that I have (but it didn't really cause any trouble with #1 & #2 so I don't know)...maybe a combination of factors. Any advice?
I just know there's one more baby girl in our future & then we'd like to adopt a boy, that's always been my dream








As for Ocean, her language is really improving. Her favorite saying is "Ummm, I don't know..." lol. No potty learning on the horizon, I think I might wait until summer. But big sissy plays "homeschool" with her and gives her step-by-step potty lessons (it's really cute). Ocean is really small & gaining weight slowly so we did a blood test on Friday, I'll update with the results next week. I'm really hoping she doesn't have celiac.
Here's a pic. of Ocean at the beach (where else?!)
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AM36eEmibI...0/P1090356.JPG
Stacy (Sunkist33)


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

She's a doll, Stacy!

All ten of my mother's grandchildren were together for pictures for the first time yesterday.







I can hardly wait to see them!









I'm seriously looking forward to Beltaine this year!







I can't believe it's only two weeks away.







Yay! My new lover is going to be there and we're going to have a blast.









Meep, kids are home.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

mamas, I have a puker again!
Hudson pukes several times a day, and not a little dribble now and then, it's a torrent, like with Trixie. Ugh.
I asked my ped with Trixie and he made the flippant comment that she's lactose intolerant, Rynna nicely pointed out to me that lactose intolerance in babies is a failure to thrive issue, and he's thriving, (he's a wee moose!)
SOOOO.... WTF?
so frustrating. Good Start solved it for Trixie for the most part, but guess who makes Good Start, sigh, good ol' Nestle. (although Good Start isn't technically included on the Nestle ban because it's a specialty formula, with it's denatured proteins and all. Kinda funny really...)


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dea* 
mamas, I have a puker again!
Hudson pukes several times a day, and not a little dribble now and then, it's a torrent, like with Trixie. Ugh.
I asked my ped with Trixie and he made the flippant comment that she's lactose intolerant, Rynna nicely pointed out to me that lactose intolerance in babies is a failure to thrive issue, and he's thriving, (he's a wee moose!)
SOOOO.... WTF?
so frustrating. Good Start solved it for Trixie for the most part, but guess who makes Good Start, sigh, good ol' Nestle. (although Good Start isn't technically included on the Nestle ban because it's a specialty formula, with it's denatured proteins and all. Kinda funny really...)

Personally, if the Good Start worked, I would use it, regardless of the boycott. I understand the reasons for the boycott, but the well being of my child is gonna come first. So if that formula fixed our issues I'd buy it in a heartbeat with no after thought.

I had a wee bit to drink last night (really not a lot, but I'm an extreme lightweight) while my sister and her boyfriend were here and of course Murphy's Law...Steven woke up running a fever and throwing up...I got him bathed and my lovely sister cleaned the bed up because DH had made a run to the store. He seems to be ok today, but we will see what the afternoon brings. Of course that took me from happy, giggly buzzed to sober with a headache really quick.

Tomorrow is back to the books and the pavement (PT sucks.) I can't wait for it to be over!


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

Yay Sarah and everyone else expecting another LO!!!

I'm doing ok. Wish Robin wasn't waking 3x/night. Help!







I don't know how to fix it.


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## phillybama (Apr 19, 2007)

It's been a LONG time since I have been here. Busy with a toddler, I guess.









Smokeylo, could it be 2-year molars?
Georgia has been chewing her pacifier like crazy lately. Just a thought. Yeah, I know, the pacifier needs to go.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

The formula issue is such a complicated one.







I'm sorry that you have to deal with it at all, Dea. If partially hydrolyzed proteins solve the issue, though, at least they're readily available. And yeah, it's totally ironic that Good Start isn't part of the Nestle boycott.









I posted pictures of all the kids to Facebook.







They're so bloody adorable!
















I'm in a lot of pain, and I'm supposed to be doing something else... so I'm going to take a vicodin and get to work.







I really don't want to, but I cannot function without it. Meh, I say! Meh!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Oh, Lauren.. have you tried putting her on the potty? A lot of times, kids this age will wake up because they have to pee but they aren't anywhere near awake enough to articulate that. Bear has actually been waking up dry in the morning and muttering "Peepee on the potty, peepee on the potty" as he toddles down the hallway.


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## slgt (Feb 21, 2007)

Rynna, I'm sorry you're still experiencing pain - is this still the digestive stuff, or something else?

Lauren...boo on nightwaking. Have you tried having a rational conversation with her about it? What about just straight-out forbidding her to wake up during the night? Ha - if only it were that easy! Good luck...it's just a phase....remember that....

Hi Phillybama!

Dea, argh. I hope you can figure out the answer quickly - reminding yourself that the health of the babe is paramount. Annoying Nestle!

I'm babysitting tonight so have time to catch up on here. Fun!

Things are going ok. I'm 6 months along, baby is doing fine as far as we know. DD...she's overall doing GREAT, except for napping. she clearly needs her naps - she sleeps for 2+ hours once she's finally down. But crickey, it takes over an hour to get her to sleep! We had a lovely phase a while back where she would just drift gently to sleep for nap. No more! Ugh. At least she sleeps at night.

And boy oh boy does she TALK. Seriously? I have not met any other kids her age who talk as incessantly (or as comprehensibly) as she does. The span of a half-hour car-rise will have her telling us about pretty much everything that has happened in the past month. Yipes!

Oh, and did I mention that my Dad has prostate cancer? We're waiting on further analysis of his biopsy from both his local docs and then Johns Hopkins to find out how aggressive it is and determine course of treatment. Sucks.


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## lovetobemama (May 16, 2007)

Just popped back in and have to say...














SUPER joy and congrats to Megan and Sarah!!! You two know you will be in my thoughts and prayers!!! Hope these babies stick (you know, once you can wrap your brains around them







)


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *slgt* 
And boy oh boy does she TALK. Seriously? I have not met any other kids her age who talk as incessantly (or as comprehensibly) as she does. The span of a half-hour car-rise will have her telling us about pretty much everything that has happened in the past month. Yipes!









Isn't it great?







I love baby perspectives.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

hi mamas!!

i move june 5th. it's going to be nuts with both kids, our 80 pound crazy dog, cat, and my mom. i'm actually avoiding thinking about it.









excellent news though! i got $19,480 in scholarships! so i will have to take out loans but they will be totally manageable. i can also adjust the loan amount to cover day care so lazlo's after-school nature program and (fingers crossed) half-day montessori for linnaea will be covered.

fingers crossed sarah!!!! how exciting!

sarah lynne-i'm so glad your training is working well.









stacy- what a cutie!! the color of her sweater and tha water and her eyes is just beautiful!

it's so good to hear about everyone's lives! and all of our babes growing up! ahh, must go to sleep now!

oh- last one! today linnaea told me that the boobahs were beautiful and that she loves them very much. and i was like noooooo! i've missed my window for weaning! she has the language now that's just going to melt my heart! i am for sure going to go back to working on night weaning. i need to do it before we move because i can't do it after, too much upheaval.

anyone weaning yet? i know a few are already done...


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sorry, I've never actually weaned a child. I have moved twice with nurslings, though.







It's totally doable. Sweet deal on the grant money.







I'm going to have to get my tush in gear and figure out how to go back to school one of these days. If only they gave degrees for the crap I've already done.


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PlayaMama* 
anyone weaning yet? i know a few are already done...

GL with moving... it will be worth it! And great news on your scholarships.

We may end up night weaning Robin. I've kept putting it off because it seems exhausting to me, and I'm already so tired. But whatever. Robin is sick AGAIN with a cough AGAIN and the inhaler we got to try doesn't seem to be doing the trick (not sure if we're using it perfectly, though, it's hard to get her to keep the mask on for more than a few seconds).







I just SO NEED A BREAK RIGHT NOW and this is NOT it! Next week her daycare is closed and my husband will be out of town for 2 days, and I'm just about out of patience and am totally exhausted. NEED. SLEEP. NEED.









(A friend watched the girls for an hour yesterday so I could take a nap -- wonderful!! But Robin's coughing woke her up today at 5 AM!!)


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Lauren- When we started to nightwean Steven, I would nurse him to sleep and then lay him in the pack n play in our room. I wouldn't get him until he woke up and if he did I tried to nurse him and put him back into the packnplay. Some nights it was fine and other nights it didn't work, but eventually he was sleeping through most of the night and drinking a sippy of water if he got thirsty.

I like class, but I'm so ready to be on the compound. August can't come soon enough.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

lauren- i nightweaned lazlo when i was in pretty much the same place you are. i just.needed.sleep. he was 18 months and it was pretty much a cold turkey type deal. he sleeps great now. i think i may just do the same with linnaea though she's already better about it.

ahh, i have to get to work.

rynna- depending on the college you can test out of courses and get credit for them. it might be worth looking into?


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Hello all! Lauren, go ahead and nightwean, I think. However, I have no idea how to manage it with a baby. For the past week or so we've been finally (_finally!!!_) able to work on a solution for nightweaning DD. She usually wakes up when I'm anywhere near her and wants to nurse, with cosleeping nightweaning has been completely impractical, and she refuses to sleep in her bed. So, for the past week or so, I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch. She sleeps with DH and she has been waking up about once a night, he gives her some water, and she's back to bed. I've been sleeping better (waking up less, too), and so has DH and so has DD. Except for the fact that DH and I really love sleeping and cuddling together, this really has been a boost. Now we just have to figure out how to get her to sleep in her own bed so DH and I can cuddle the night away. That's a ways off, but it's been really good to get some solid night's sleep this past week.

Well maybe that will work for you, do you have somewhere else that you can sleep with baby away from Robyn and can your DH do Robyn's nighttime parenting?


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

DH and I went out on Saturday night and had fun, but tension is still high around here. The word 'divorce' has come up more than once. So we're making good use of the job benefits I have for free counseling and making an appt. We have to do something before 'divorce' becomes a reality instead of just a word.

The kids are doing ok. Just the same as any other day. Right now we're trying to take it day by day to not end up another statistic...


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

oh sarah lynne!!







:

counseling can be really helpful and you are in SUCH a difficult place right now with a new baby and your schooling and him transitioning into being the sah parent. i think you are right to take it one day at a time. have you been able to scrape together any funds for your anxiety meds? i'm thinking of you!


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PlayaMama* 
oh sarah lynne!!







:

counseling can be really helpful and you are in SUCH a difficult place right now with a new baby and your schooling and him transitioning into being the sah parent. i think you are right to take it one day at a time. have you been able to scrape together any funds for your anxiety meds? i'm thinking of you!

I'm trying 5-htp for the moment. I can't afford the $25 co-pay to get the prescription that costs $10...DH has been taking it in place of his adderal and its been helping him a lot. So we shall see. I know its uncharted territory when it comes to taking it and breastfeeding, but at this point I think its worth the risk.

Steven just crawled up on my lap to stare at the smiley's


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Sarah Lynne,







Gosh it's so hard. Yeah I threw that big D at DH several times in DD's first year/DH's 1st gung-ho year with his new religion. I"m sorry you're going through this. Not to be a pusher, but have you read _The Mood Cure_? I'm wondering because along with 5-htp, another thing you could take is GABA. And, I happened to way over-order it (I thought I'd need it for at least a year, but didn't), so I've got 2 100-capsule bottles just sitting around if you'd like them. But I'd advise reading up on it first before deciding yes. Anyways, they're yours if you'd like them.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Teeny, where can we read more about 5-HTP? I heard a rumor that it might help me sleep... and taking 15-20 mg of Ambien isn't exactly my favorite thing to do (especially when I have to take it with NyQuil to be effective







).


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
Teeny, where can we read more about 5-HTP? I heard a rumor that it might help me sleep... and taking 15-20 mg of Ambien isn't exactly my favorite thing to do (especially when I have to take it with NyQuil to be effective







).

I actually found a book about it at the thrift store.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

I got _The Mood Cure_ from the library and read it through like it was food and I was starving. It really really helped. Also there's a thread or two in health with 5-htp, and also something in the PPD forum called "a true natural remedy" which I also got alot of information from. Seriously, after I started on that regimen, I feel like a light's been turned on, I think it got flipped off when DD was a few weeks old. heh.

I hope it can help! I don't take either GABA or HTP anymore regularly. I take HTP occasionally, but I don't feel like I need them anymore on a day to day basis.

Actually I have some 5-htp left. They're 100 mg capsules (where the book recommends 50 mg to start, but I was trying to be frugal). It's not a full bottle, but you're welcome to what I have, if you want to try it.

Oh and by the way, DD corrected me today! I am always stumbling over words, and frequently say the wrong thing or just say thing/ie instead. Well I told her to come down the steps so I can put her in her chair (meaning carseat). She told me "you mean seat!" D'oh!!


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

hi mamas!
what is htp?
and can you believe that Hudson is 3 months old? ack!


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Oooh, I need that thread on inostol and 5HTP. It's not that big of a surprise, but I am quite miserable. Not really wanting to be pregnant, not feeling at all bonded with this baby, just wanting to be left alone..... and just not really managing day to day life right now.

I am going into therapy, which is a good thing. I found a feminist organisation that does not charge an arm and a leg, and they are not into the whole paternalistic style of therapy that really annoyes me.... first meeting on wednesday.

I really hope that this sorts itself out. I don't really want to tell people yet that I am pregnant, as I just don't know how to deal with the happiness expressed, when I am so not happy.

Anyway, enough whining from me.

Sarah Lynne,







.

I'm going to look into the mood cure book too.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Megan, I hope you're feeling better soon.

I'm feeling fan-freaking-tastic. Beltaine was just incredible!







I forgot to get a pseudonym out of my lover, but aside from that things were just brilliant. Best Beltaine yet, and he says to me, "Of course next year will be better" just like it's perfectly self-evident... and it is.







I'm crazy in love with this man, he just complements me in every way.







We're ridiculously happy.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 







Megan, I hope you're feeling better soon.

I'm feeling fan-freaking-tastic. Beltaine was just incredible!







I forgot to get a pseudonym out of my lover, but aside from that things were just brilliant. Best Beltaine yet, and he says to me, "Of course next year will be better" just like it's perfectly self-evident... and it is.







I'm crazy in love with this man, he just complements me in every way.







We're ridiculously happy.























You should just call him Beltaine 

Had a fantabulous weekend! Much needed after the long week...

Still having panic attacks...not sure what I'm gonna do about it.

Austin turns 4 today! I'm feeling a little nostalgic and slightly aged lol


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

Megan, I'm so sorry you are still having a rough time! I hope you find the therapist very helpful. I'll be thinking of you and please let us know how it goes!

Saray Lynne, Yay for a good weekend. I really hope you can find something to help with the anxiety attacks. Anxiety is so difficult to live with. HAppy birthday Austin and Sarah Lynne!!

Rynna, yay for happiness! Are you still seeing THR?

Dea, I can't believe it's been 3 months already! He's so adorable!!

Carrie, how are things with the move and school going?

I'm wrapping my brain around a new baby coming and if I wasn't so darn sick, I'd be pretty excited! I'm using a new midwife this time and we meet her for the first time on Thursday, she wants a dating ultrasound since my dates are pure guessing. I didn't want one at first, but now I'm excited to see a heartbeat and get reassurance that there's only one! We'll probably do that next week sometime, so I'll be 8 weeks. I feel a little better today and that is an absolute blessing!! I have felt so terrible this time! I had a really difficult overnight birth last week that was a homebirth turned transfer and then my kids wouldn't nap so I went from 7am on Tuesday to 9pm Wednesday without sleep and it was bad. Then James started running a fever that night and then Grace got so I haven't even had a decent nights sleep since last Tuesday and it's been hard!! I have another client due next week and I'm kind of dreading it at this point. I will just be smarter and ask my sitter to keep the kids while I nap befoer getting them if it's an all nighter. I have to take better care of myself! The kids are SO EXCITED about a new baby. Grace checks my belly first thing every morning to see how much it's grown (it's still just fat, os no real changes yet!) and they talk to and rub the baby. I can't wait until they can feel it move! Grace calls the baby "she" and "baby sister", she did that when I was pregnant wiht James too and she's accepted him pretty well so I'm hoping it will be okay with her either way!

Do any of you remember how long it was until we started bonding in our DDC? I am thinking it was towards the end of the pregnancies. A new DDC feels really weird, I'm really glad Megan is there with me, it's nice to have a familiar "face"


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mommy2Austin* 
You should just call him Beltaine 









I like to get their input, but I'll ask him what he thinks.







I'm desperately looking forward to seeing him again. I'm sure you all think I'm crazy, especially as this time last year I was all about THRH and I haven't talked about him in a while... but it's not exactly the same.









I haven't heard from THRH in a while. I'm tentatively planning to go visit him a week from Friday, and hopefully things will go well.







Everything that was remotely difficult about my relationship with THRH is blessedly simple with this other fellow, though. It's difficult to explain without furthering the impression that I'm crazy, I think, so I'll stop.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

sarah, I found it awkward with Hudson's DDC too, I still find it a little odd, I guess nothing can match this group!

Rynna, you make me smile.

and what is htp?


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

So I sent my lover a text and he replied, "My pseudonym is Jason." So that's that-- he's Jason.







He's gorgeous.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dea* 
sarah, I found it awkward with Hudson's DDC too, I still find it a little odd, I guess nothing can match this group!

Rynna, you make me smile.

and what is htp?

5-HTP is a supplement that's supposed to help with the production of seratonin (sp?) in the brain which the lack of can cause the symptoms of depression and anxiety as well as a host of other things. I haven't been able to get myself to take anything regularly...

I did find the other day I was feeling an attack come on and we were doing PT. I think the exercise actually did help for the temporary period, because while I still felt a little blue if you will, I didn't feel like my heart was coming out of my chest.

I haven't study for my test today














I just didn't feel up to it yesterday. Thankfully we have 2 hours of "self-study" before the actual test so I should be fine.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sarah Lynne, I hope the test went well.







I've been studying math in my "spare time" and that's going pretty well for me. I kind of feel like I want to go back to school but I'm not absolutely certain... I think I might just want to do all the learning/knowledge acquisition stuff I can manage and put it to use without necessarily getting my degree.







Who knows. Jason's promised to start mailing me homework assignments.







Have I mentioned that he's a mathematician?







He loves my random, weird obsession with math. Who knew?







I'm kind of stoked to be with a guy who is better at math than I am.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
Sarah Lynne, I hope the test went well.







I've been studying math in my "spare time" and that's going pretty well for me. I kind of feel like I want to go back to school but I'm not absolutely certain... I think I might just want to do all the learning/knowledge acquisition stuff I can manage and put it to use without necessarily getting my degree.







Who knows. Jason's promised to start mailing me homework assignments.







Have I mentioned that he's a mathematician?







He loves my random, weird obsession with math. Who knew?







I'm kind of stoked to be with a guy who is better at math than I am.









96% and I didn't really study







I wish Math was a part of my curriculum because I love it! But alas it's not.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Just a bump and a reminder to spend time with our sometimes exasperating little ones while we can. dd called to wish me a happy Mother's Day last night. It wasn't Mother's Day, but she was a bit stressed and had the time difference backwards.

She lives in Guam now, btw.

Her childhood sure went fast.


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## slgt (Feb 21, 2007)

Yipes Heather, was it a surprise to you that she's in Guam? What brought her there, what is she doing there? Do you know if she's ok? I know it's been a rough go these past...has it been almost a year?

SarahLynne, sorry to hear things are so rough with your DH> I hope you guys are able to adjust - you have a lot to work through.

Rynna, I heart math.

I'm 31 weeks along, and just starting to feel uncomfortable. Poor DH, this pregnancy has beat me up a bit. I was only sick for 18 weeks, but since that point I've had a cold for at least one week, a sinus infection that knocked me flat for 3 weeks (I finally gave in am thankful that antibiotics still works sometimes!), and now I have another cold with laryngitis.

Taking care of DD when I can't talk has been interesting. She talks so much, I'm not sure she notices that I'm silent! But I can't go out with her, because I don't have..."voice control"? Can't call to her if she tries to run full-tilt ahead away from me - and I can't run very fast with this belly, either.

Otherwise, things are ok. Found out my dad's cancer is not as bad as it could be, so that's good. Work is work, DH and I spend wayyyyyy too much time together, but it's just for a few years of our lives and we'll work through it.

Hi everyone! Happy Mothers' Day...


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

hi mamas!!

happy mother's day to you all!

slgt- i'm glad your dad's cancer isn't as bad as it could be. that's pretty darn good news.

nos- guam?!? how'd that happen?

i'm trying to figure out a house for us to move into. we currently pay $400 for a 3-bedroom, 1800 sq. ft. place with a huge fenced yard and a garden.

we're looking at $900 for a 2 bedroom duplex.







plus financial aid won't come through until early august so i'm going to have to borrow some money from family to do this. ugh.

i hope all is well with everyone and their toddlers! and pregnancies sarah and megan and slgt!


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PlayaMama* 
i'm trying to figure out a house for us to move into. we currently pay $400 for a 3-bedroom, 1800 sq. ft. place with a huge fenced yard and a garden.









Wow! I have no idea how big 1800 square feet is, but around here it's impossible to find a three bedroom anything for less than $600/month. It's almost enough to make me want to move to Nevada.







Ah, who am I kidding. I want to move to Pittsburgh.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 







Wow! I have no idea how big 1800 square feet is, but around here it's impossible to find a three bedroom anything for less than $600/month. It's almost enough to make me want to move to Nevada.







Ah, who am I kidding. I want to move to Pittsburgh.









Yeah same here unless you qualify for income based housing. (Which thankfully we do, because we made need to move soon!)


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 







Wow! I have no idea how big 1800 square feet is, but around here it's impossible to find a three bedroom anything for less than $600/month. It's almost enough to make me want to move to Nevada.







Ah, who am I kidding. I want to move to Pittsburgh.









I would love to live in Nevada







Here 75 meters is $950 a month. We do have a small yard, but it is ridiculously expensive to live here.

I had my first meeting with the therapist last week. Off for my second today. I am a little ambivalent about starting therapy again, but I also know that I need it.

Otherwise, my pants are getting tight. My weightloss has plateaued and I have totally calmed down on my obsessions about food and minerals and phytic acid. It was doing my head in,

Somehow I missed mothers day. It's not really celebrated here. Belated happy mothers day to the fantastic mums in the DDC.

Oh, and NOS. Guam? That is an interesting destination.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Spray Day...and nothing in that statement is even a smidge fun...

Praying that I have eye balls and skin on my face when I get home.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ema-adama* 
and I have totally calmed down on my obsessions about food and minerals and phytic acid. It was doing my head in,

this happened to me too!

i have to say, i just started researching farmers markets, and suddenly, $900 for rent doesn't seem that bad when you can buy so much amazing, locally grown food.









sarah lynne- hope your day was good!

megan- good for you for doing therapy. it can be so helpful.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

If I would have been eating Cheerios they would have come out of my nose. $600 or less for a 3 bedroom? That exists? HA! Not here. When we were house shopping every extra bedroom was at least an additional 100K... there's a reason we live in a 2 bedroom place!
sigh.
Anyhow I hope mother's day was good for everyone. Mine was a bust, and it pissed me off. Adam doesn't understand why he should make an effort in place of the kids when they don't care. I was not happy with that. I love mother's day and birthdays and christmas, and his family doesn't make an effort and as a result he doesn't. You'd think that after 5 years together he'd catch on, or that he would because I have point blank told him that it's important to me. GRRRRR!
okay rant off.
Oh and Hudson is so dang cute! And Trixie is at the stage where I have my own narrator who narrates our life. It's pretty dang cute too!


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PlayaMama* 
nos- guam?!? how'd that happen?


Well, she's very resourceful, although I guess it could still turn out to be a nightmare that leaves me saying she's very stupid. I don't think so, though, since this is her second trip out there. Her employer pays her transportation from Seattle and she works for three months, during which time she receives small but adequate paychecks, and when she fulfills the contract she gets a large sum that covers her plane fare back to the mainland easily enough.

It sounds like she loves the island and would be better off saving her money than going back right now, though. The schools aren't great, but she can finish up her General Ed requirements and take four classes towards her Philosophy Major on the island.

Yea, it's scary to have her so far away and worry that something might happen to leave her stranded 5800-odd miles from home, but she's alive, she sounds happy, and once we got past the initial awkwardness we seemed to be on good terms again. She left last June and we hadn't spoken since at least October.

Does anyone know if I can still get those prepaid long distance phone cards for a landline?

I pay $900 for a two bedroom here, but it's not in the greatest neighbourhood and I've been here for seven years so that's below market. We have a front and back yard, both of which are fenced. the back is only slightly bigger than postage stamp sized (I have room for either a boy or a garden, but not both) but it's private enough that i sit out there in my bathrobe with unkempt hair watching my naked baby and nobody can see us except the neighbours in the other little house on the lot, who don't seem to mind.

My CSA doesn't start until June, which can get pretty miserable at times, but I did do a fairly good job of canning and freezing last year and one of the nice things about phonebanking and other unskilled political work is that they frequently feed you (and very well) in addition to paying you with money.

Yipes about the spray day, Sarah Lynne; I hope you're feeling better soon.

Megan, I hope this therapist is helpful, but don't be afraid to shop around if you don't click with the first one.

slgt, I bet that's such a relief! cancer sucks, but it's definitely not a death sentence any more. My Mom has survived it three times.

Terran is still nursing a fair amount at night which is fine with me because he's so active and busy during the day. He can be challenging and exhausting just like any other two year old, but he's definitely my "desert baby": I saved the sweetest one for last. <3 <3 <3


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Spray Day is over... Thank God!

Let's put it this way. I said this over and over after I got sprayed. I would rather give birth to a set of triplets out of my nostrils. Thats how bad it was. I never have to do it again so At least I did it. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around spraying someone else, but I imagine in the right situation I could.

Now I get to pump like crazy to make up not nursing/pumping from 4pm yesterday until 8 this morning.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Ugh! Sprayed with what, and why?


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
Ugh! Sprayed with what, and why?









OC Spray Aka Pepper Spray but more powerfl than the kind you buy at the store...picture snot, tears, and drool everywhere and a big red swollen Sarah Lynne face. Someone got pictures/video of me so I'll see if I can get them up.


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

I miss you guys. I'm so sick. I'm not having any more babies after this, I can't risk being this sick again, it really, really sucks. I'm 8.5 weeks and I am praying that it starts improving next week. I've done 2 births in 2 weeks and have another one due in 2 weeks. Of course this is the busiest I've been in a year and they all hit right now, ugg.

Sarah Lynn, that sucks! I'm glad you hade it through it and never have to do it again!

Carrie, that is a huge jump, that would be really hard to adjust to the cost difference! I hope you find something awesome!

NOS, I hope DD continues to do well and it's a positive expereince for her! Terran is just a doll, I love seeing his pics on FB.

slgt, wow, you poor thing. You've been so sick! I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but I'm so glad that it's better than it could be! I hope you heal and have a great rest of your pregnancy!








you all


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

nos- yes, you can get pre-paid phone cards at costco for $30 for 700 minutes. it's like .029/minute which is why we use them on our landline instead of long distance, it's SO much less expensive. thanks for explaining about your dd's story. it does sound good for her. and i LOVE picturing you and terran in your postage stamp back yard!

sarah- i'm so sorry.







i was soooooo sick with linnaea that i totally understand not wanting to risk it by getting pregnant again. i basically stayed in bed for the entire summer because the sunlight would make me puke. at the very least, you can still hope that it will end with the first tri!

dea- sorry mother's day wasn't so hot. my family isn't big on those things either so i don't expect them but the school is big on holidays so laz gets excited and it's kind of contagious.

sarah lynne- OMG! i thought you meant like, spray down the yard with hoses or something. i once maced myself by accident because i was out really late and really drunk and i was showing off how funny it was that my dad had given me mace and it was pointed the wrong way so it went into my face instead of on the wall. it was not fun, and i'm betting yours was about a zillion times worse. glad it's over!!

things are looking up for us. i found a 2 bedroom house that's close-ish to the charter school i want for lazlo and it's $890 BUT utilities are included, so that's like, $720 which actually seems sort of reasonable. i have my fingers crossed it works out.


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## BabyBump (Jul 10, 2007)

Hi All! Been a long, long time since I posted here. Hopefully you all remember me.

Good to hear all the two year olds are doing well. Congrats on all the new babies and soon to be babies. I'm a smidge jealous. I kinda of wanted one more, but husband wouldn't go for it. Not because he didn't want another either, but he made a point about time, money, and being thankful for our beautiful kids we already have. He did go get the the snippty snip, but failed his first test. And we were the ones that couldn't get pregnant to save our lives, then had two 15 months apart. Someone above is laughing at us...... The dr spent like a half hour on the side that had a torsion injury. He 'thinks' that side has never contributed to anything and everything was obliturated in the injury. Dr gave up trying to find anything to cut. That leaves me trying to decide what to do? What if the dr gave up and shouldn't have!

Eli is doing great. He's so active. Loves to play, draw, coloring, antagonize Kendall. Loves to push his babies around in a stroller. Chatters constantly. Trys to read books. A couple he knows so well that he does a good job 'reading' them!

Quinn is awesome. She justt turned a year old which doesn't seem possible. Thankfully she has been slow to do things unlike the older two. Didn't get teeth until 8 months, crawled at 10 1/2. Isn't walking yet. Finally 'gets' a sippy cup-it was a challenge to get her to drink out of one. Seems like she is staying littler longer. On Mothers Day she said her first word 'kitty' and gave me a kiss, also her first. She is so sweet.

We made it a year nursing. I'm so proud of myself for sticking with it. We've started introducing a little milk mostly because she got a hold of Eli's cup one day.

Sorry to hear some are having difficulty with this or that.

Lauren- hang in there....a toddler plus a new baby is tough.....everybody wants / needs you. Seemlingly at the same time. I was used to sing this stupid made up song when the littles would both start crying about whatever, while I was trying to get what they both needed. For what ever reason I helped calm me down and kept me from getting frustrated. The song was usually about why everybody was crying.

Marriage is tough. We definately aren;t without issue. Little knit picky stuff. I get a little jealous of how he makes sure he has time to do his thing, but when I go do something I get 'how long are you going to be gone'? Grrrrr........ Bottom line we need to make more time for each other, without kids. My bday last week was the first dinner in 2 1/2 years we've had without the kids.

Talk soon.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Can't let this thread drop so low!

Babybump! Good to see you!

Sarah Lynne, I don't know how you did that! I hope you're recovered now.

NOS - good to see you too!!

Hello Everyone!

Just for the record, NV's prices aren't all that low. You will not find such lovely rents in the Vegas area, I can assure you of that!

Well we're working on limiting nursing sessions to just before bed and at wakeup. This resulted in some serious melting down, but some amazing distraction of the trouble from the big kids.

Not really advanced on potty past morning wake-ups, but she's getting to the point where she at least lets me know most of the time that she's gone/going.

Also in funny kidisms:

DH mentioned something about casinos. DSD says "what's a casino?" DSS says "it's those big places we used to go bowling!" hahah! Which is true, there are only bowling places in casinos in Vegas. heh.

Another:

DSS and DSD were fighting over a water bottle. I tried to listen to their sides to sort out who's it was... and DD turns to me and says: "Momma, I got this! Okay?" heh


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Unfortunately the OC Spray opened me up for a nasty cold/allergy issue. I have been sneezing, stuffed up, runny eyes and achy ever since wednesday. Of course I don't have the luxury of taking off class. I can't taste or smell anything. I've eaten, but not enjoyed food for almost a week. Its a horrible feeling. I'm hoping its over soon.

I've been nostalgic lately . My kiddos are getting so big. They're independent little guys. I feel like I'm missing out on so much. Austin is very into Star Trek right now. To the point he draws pictures of the enterprise and makes romulin ships out of legos.

Steven is exploring everything. He's the easiest kid to feed, because he has no issues with food. He loves it all. And because he's so active he can get away with it!

Tristyn is growing by leaps and bounds already. She smiles and coos and talks to you like your old friends. Soon enough she'll be crawling and independent just like her big brothers.

I must get ready for class/work now unfortunately.


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Quick question, although I think I have asked this before.... Hillel HATES brushing teeth, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. When I do try it is a fight, requiring me to hold him down while he screams. Not something I feel comfortable doing, at all.

But he needs to brush his teeth.

I don't want to traumatise him with brushing his teeth and create a situation where it becomes a battle that never ends....

I just don't know what to do.

I have tried to put something on the computer for him to watch in order to distract him. It worked a couple of times, but now it doesn't distract him.

He sees the toothbrush and just freaks out....

Maybe I should put this in the general toddler section?

Argh. I just feel like such a terrible parent as I am not looking after his teeth and I don't know how to.









Otherwise, all is well.

I'm folllowing the thread, will write personals next time


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I hear you on the tooth brushing. At first, we just gave Bear the toothbrush to play with while the older kids were brushing. I'd usually try to get a swipe or two in, but not really argue about it. Now he asks to brush teeth with his siblings, and while he isn't always super cooperative (and still doesn't really get spitting) he's amenable more often than not. I still don't brush his teeth for two minutes, and I still let him play with it before & after, but tooth brushing definitely happens. Does Hillel watch you brush your teeth?


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Yes, he watches me and DH brush our teeth. He knows which is my toothbrush, DH's and his. He just has a serious phobia about his teeth being brushed. I don't know if it is a tactile thing, a control thing or what???? I'm guessing mostly control, as I did brush his teeth successfully a couple of times while he watched Play for Change. That just doesn't work anymore. If he sees my holding his toothbrush he goes nuts.

We have tried giving him one to use while we use another, but no can do.

It's kinda like hairwashing (also doesn't happen) and nail clipping (he lets his grandmother clip his nails, but he won't let me). I'm not worried about his hair, as it doesn't threaten his health to leave it unwashed... it gets a bit sticky in the summer, but not the end of the world (although I am planning to try washing his hair in the paddling pool in the summer.... we'll see) But I do worry about not brushing his teeth. I am terrified of tooth decay.

Argh!


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

I'm here and rdg but very busy... things are sort of awesome and awful at the same time







.

As for teeth... we're not great about this either. You might look at xylitol use in the meantime. IMO torturing a kid to brush teeth will create more probs long term, so I don't push it if she won't cooperate.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

My supply has tanked







Between being sick and having no choice in taking meds (I can't miss class or I'll lose my job) I'm barely pumping 4 ounces during my session (used to get 8) at work and couldn't get barely one last night when I got home ( 4 hours since I had pumped.) DH is getting me some mother's milk tea at the store and I've been throwing Tristyn on the breast every chance I get. I'm about to snuggle up with Steven and see if he can help mommy out. I refuse to fail at this. And I know having to use formula isn't a failing, it just bugs me that I was able to supply plenty and now I can't.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

hi all!!

heather, thanks for checking in, i'm glad to hear from you!

sarah lynne- much love to you too, i'm sorry about the supply







, i think you just keep doing the best you can, drink the tea and nurse your littles.

megan- i'm not sure if you remember but linnaea had to have ga and get her four front teeth capped because of decay. i was crazy about brushing but she had enamel defects. i mean, one of her front teeth came in missing a line of enamel across the front, it was the weirdest thing i've ever seen.

so, i vote for xylitol, it can be pricey and you have to use enough to make a difference and mineral paste. the mineral paste (we use mi paste from our dentist) has fluoride and calcium and since it's topically applied i felt fine about using it. what i've done is try to make it fun, she likes brushing teeth in the mirror, and we do "eeeeee" a noise she makes while she shows me her front teeth and "aaaahhhhhh" so i can scrub the backs while we brush in the mirror so she can look at her face while i brush.

if that still doesn't work (ten minutes is about my max to try and make it fun) then i sit down with my legs out in front of me and she will lie down (i used to do it myself but now she wants to do everything "on her own self" so she'll lie down and i put her arms under my legs and just brush her teeth. i figure i probably only do that for maybe one minute to make sure i'm getting a good swipe at each tooth and she gets up and it's all done with.

i did this with lazlo and he now brushes his teeth really well on his own and i just check after he's done.

teeny- thanks for the bump. and yes, we live an hour north of reno in a really small town so the rental market isn't that, uh, competitive. i've got my fingers crossed we get this duplex that's $675.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

It was the pumps fault. I busted out my manual pump and got 10 ounces in 2 sessions. Of course my wrists are killing me, but at least I know things will be ok. Except for my pump being dead...Praying for the money to fall into my lap for a new one.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Sarah Lynne, what kind of pump is it? It might be easy to fix the problem. Anyhow, I'm glad to hear it's not a supply problem.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
Sarah Lynne, what kind of pump is it? It might be easy to fix the problem. Anyhow, I'm glad to hear it's not a supply problem.









Medela pump in style...only 2 years old. It was my sisters and she never used it. I am very bummed about it.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'd totally take it apart and put it back together for you if I was nearby.







There are all kinds of parts that can move around and cause you to lose suction, though. It's probably not an insurmountable problem. You might try to contact the company, or see if they have an FAQ or a troubleshooting guide online.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

sarah lynne- i have been trying to think of a way of getting rid of my avent isis. it's only one side but it can be manual or electric. let me know if you are interested.

i'm really glad to hear that it's just the pump though. yay boobies making milk!

i _think_ we've found a place. it has all energy efficient appliances and is in the nicer neighborhood. it's also a half hour from the charter school where i want lazlo to go, but i guess that's not a horrible morning commute for curtis? it's only a ten minute bike ride for me.

ahhhh! night time for me! linnaea is ready to go to sleep.

nnnnnnnnnnnl linnaea letters. [[[[[[[[[[


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Carrie, I was hoping you would reply, I remember you going through surgery with Linnaea. I feel like such a bad parent as I just cannot bring myself to torture the child, but he does have a yellow stain/decay on one of his front teeth. So I don't force the issue, and I worry. And I should just go and see a dentist, but I am postponing it







Bad bad parent







I am definitely not handling this situation in a stellar way at all.
I like your ideas for teeth brushing. I need to get him on good terms with the tooth brush and work up from there. He really does not like people doing stuff to him (rather like his mum!) And I know I need to respect that.... but.... yeah I am highly conflicted about forcing a child to do something that I know is good for him








Woo hoo for accommodation and charter school and biking to uni

I am off to see my gynae tomorrow morning. Make sure the baby is growing where it should be, and maybe get answers on why my cervix is lying so very low at this stage of the pregnancy.

Sarah Lynne, I am so happy to read that you don't have a supply problem. It is reassuring to know that you have formula if you need it, but I can also understand the desire to nurture your child with your own milk.







you can find a solution and get the pump working as it should.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

OMG the bruises....People are going to start thinking DH beats me up. I have pictures up on Facebook of them.

Academy Pictures


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PlayaMama* 
so, i vote for xylitol, it can be pricey and you have to use enough to make a difference and mineral paste. the mineral paste (we use mi paste from our dentist) has fluoride and calcium and since it's topically applied i felt fine about using it. what i've done is try to make it fun, she likes brushing teeth in the mirror, and we do "eeeeee" a noise she makes while she shows me her front teeth and "aaaahhhhhh" so i can scrub the backs while we brush in the mirror so she can look at her face while i brush.

Yes, my doc also rec'd having them growl like a bear to brush the fronts, and then yawn like an alligator to get the back teeth. I try to do this and "take turns" brushing her teeth. I'm also thinking about trying my elec. brush on her since it works so well and fast and she usually only lets me in for about 30 sec.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

megan- can you see the backs of his teeth? what i did is hold linnaea in front with her legs wrapped around my waist and then i bend forward and tip her backwards into the sunlight so i could check. she had minimal decay on the front but lots on the back, which is why her teeth kept chipping.

my dentist recommended the mi paste and xylitol to see if we could keep the decay in check and i feel like it sort of slowed it down (i also went nuts with raw milk and bone broth







) but it still progressed.

i found the mi paste on ebay for pretty inexpensive, i'm not sure if the shipping to you would be too much?

lauren- i think that's great with the animals noises. linnaea loves to do the noises from diego so that might be a new twist on it to keep if fun. i do use the sonic care on her if i end up having to have her lie down. that way it gets her clean that much faster and i don't have to restrain her too long.

sarah lynne- i'm gonna check out your pics. i hope they aren't too bad!


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Back from Daytona







SPF 50 did nothing for me. I'm red as a lobster, but happy as a clam! Lots of fun was had.

The bruise on my elbow has gotten worse. It's really scary looking. Other than feeling slightly bruised it doesn't hurt.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Hey, I was just wondering if any of you had gone through chicken pox yet? My older kids are vaxed, so it's all new to me. One of our friends has it and I'm ready to go ahead and get it over with, but I'm not sure what to do other than letting the kids play together and share snacks. It has to be a fairly quick party because of scheduling issues.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

NOS- I think thats about all you can do...so jealous we don't live closer though lol


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Well, there's a two week incubation period and we do live in a beautiful place that is great for vacationing.









I'd love some company. Dea, Trixie, Adam, and Hudson dropped by on the way to Canada not too long ago and it was wonderful to get together outside of the computers, although Terran did have a bit of trouble respecting Trixie's boundaries when she had enough hugging. He's loved looking at pictures of her on the computer since Hudson was born so she is a bit of a "celebrity" to him.

I've got some temporary election work going on after a long stretch of unemployment and it's doing wonders for my mood.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

I'd love to have the whole pox thing sorted out. I'm pretty sure the big kids got the vax, but I have not decided on how to do it for DD. I've heard that eczema and chicken pox don't go together. And while DSS's eczema isn't as bad as it was, it still is. Also, DH has never had it, so I don't know if exposure to wild type would put us a house full of poxers or not.







: I missed local pox parties last year, have no idea if it will ever happen again.

Who knows.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Teeny, you might suggest that your husband get the vaccine and then see if the little person doesn't get it from that. I'd be very concerned about an adult or even an older teen who had never had it, far moreso than about a toddler or child.


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## ema-adama (Dec 3, 2007)

Chiming in on chickenpox. It is also possible that your DH is immune without having had the disease. You could check his titres. I've just had mine checked as part of the blood tests for being pregnant, and I still am, after having had it about 27 years ago. I thought maybe my immunity would wane living in a highly vaccianted population, but nope. Anyway, I reckon it would be worth checking his titres before vaccinating anyone.

All is good here. Apart from me spending many hours on the sofa vomiting in to a bucket. I am hoping this is over sooner than later. The morning sickness only really kicked in at about 9 weeks, which is weird.

NOS, let us know if Terran gets chickenpox. Hillel played with a little girl who had 3 pox, 2 of them under her nappy, and he didn't get anything.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

hi all, just bumping to keep us on the first page









remember when we'd do a page per day?









we're moving! in eight days and i'm trying not to freak right out. it's going to be great but we don't have any friends right in town yet, i'm taking 20 units of grad level courses, we're used to living in a town of 150 in the middle of the desert, and i have to take a SIX HOUR test the saturday after we arrive.

where's the stressed smiley... here's how i feel now














and here's how i would like to feel


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## lovetobemama (May 16, 2007)

Playa...hope the move goes well!

Sarah...if you are checking in...I am SO excited for you


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

My camera is working again!







I'm ridiculously pleased about this. Inordinately so, even.







Today I shot video of my niece dancing around on the porch and having a blast as well as myself playing around with one of the pianos that's been place around Lancaster.









Now if only good things will happen with the car, so I can actually get the heck out of here this weekend...







Think happy fuzzy woowoo thoughts toward it for the inspection attempt tomorrow morning!


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

HI mamas!
I've been gone a long time. We did a big ol' trip up to Canada, stopping to visit NOS, who was totally gracious and fed us so we didn't have to totally survive on road food. (I hate that about travelling!)
Terran was so cute! So so cute!
NOS for the chicken pox, if you don't have a lot of time you can have the infected children suck on some lollypops and share them with Terran, you can save some for later too. I've heard of people sending infect lollies through the mail, so I guess that the virus can live for a some time. I guess it's just a matter of finding some lollies that are suitable, and not just dye and sugar.

Sarah Lynn, I'm glad that you're just having pump problems and your supply is still good!

Speaking of supply.







Mine is nearly gone! I ran out of domperidone and my supply tanked. I was able to get some on Canada, but it's not ramping up, so now Hudson gets frustrated and bites and pulls and wreaks havok on my poor nipples. He does this thing where he latches for a second and pops off, repeat repeat repeat. I don't want to give up, but ahhhh! He's getting such a minute amount, and even before when I had a slightly larger amount it was still hard, but at least I saw something, now there's nothing. It's so depressing! I'm going to keep trying until I run out of domperidone again, hopefully it'll come back, and I'll just spend lots of quality time with my pump.

Are there any movie watchers in our group. I saw Sex and the City 2 and I loved it! I loved how it had a pro monogamy stand point. (not to say those of you who aren't into monogamy are wrong, I just read some articles saying that it bashed marriage, and it didn't) But the best part was when they drank to mothers who do it all without nannies and a staff of helpers. YAY!

Also I'm totally excited for the new Twilight movie 'cause I am really a 12 year old girl in a 32 year old woman's body! heh!


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## slgt (Feb 21, 2007)

HI! Gosh, I don't think there is any way I am going to catch up on 100+ posts...My attention has mostly been taken up with gestating and working full time and parenting the rest of the time.

Dea - is Hudson about 4 mos. now? R went through what I called the "suck suck YANK" phase starting around then and lasting for a couple months. I chalked it up to a developmental spurt - so it may not be just a supply issue - development/distraction (hey! I can see! what's that? what's that noise? what's that sensation? what's happening over there?) might be playing a role as well. I'm sorry you are having supply issues, though. How frustrating. Tell your wee boy to focus!

Playa - yipes, good luck with the move & settling in & starting classes! Hope the transition goes well and that you enjoy your grad program.

Megan - I'm sooo sorry you are sick. How far along are you?

Chicken pox - I was never vaxed (vax came after I was a kid, and I never bothered to get it as an adult), and got the pox when i was in my mid-20s. Luckily it was the world's mildest case, I got about 7 pox & had a mild fever maybe 2 months before our wedding! We have not vaxed DD - I think we will if she hasn't had them by later in elementary school.

My suspicion is that i had a fairly strong but incomplete immunity to them, and that's why I never got them as a kid & had only a mild case as an adult. The other possibility the doctor shared is that I had a very mild case of them as a kid, which gave me incomplete immunity.

Things are going well here. I'm due in 5 weeks (!) and have been trying like crazy to finish up nesting-related stuff and get everything work-related in good shape to transition to the folks filling in for me. I get a full 12 weeks of leave, plus I have several weeks of vacation to use up, so it should be a good break.

Oddly, baby has dropped in the last few days. Is that really unusual for a post-first pregnancy?

DD is doing great. She is in a SERIOUS mama phase right now. For the first time ever, she asked for me when she was at the sitter's house..."I want my mama." Any time I come home after a day at the office (maybe once/week), she greets me with a HUGE hug around my legs and says, "Mama, you did come home to me! I'm so happy now!" Very sweet - the manipulative little git









Hey - I didn't scroll back far enough to see. Have we heard from Helen (flapjack)?


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Well, it's been two weeks and no sign of the chicken pox.









Terran was kind of cranky yesterday, but he seems fine after a night's sleep, so I guess he was just tired and I was trying to do too much since I didn't have to work for the first time in weeks.

The election is tomorrow, so today is probably my last day.

I probably should check Terran's scalp to make sure I'm not missing anything, because my mother says she never would have known when I had it if she hadn't done that. Slgt, thank you for sharing about your experience; it makes me feel much better about my older kids, whose vax may not give them lifetime immunity.

Speaking of which, can anyone recommend a good webcam? Terran enjoyed skyping with his sister the other night, but my old cam, which I bought off of eBay for $5 in 2004, is woefully inadequate and when I tried to install the drivers to use my camera as a webcam it screwed up windoze somehow and now i can only boot to Linux.

It's hard to believe the next wave of younger siblings is almost here!


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## lovetobemama (May 16, 2007)

slgt: Molly was my second pregnany, and I would say that she definitely dropped near the end. It was similar to the first pregnancy, but I was even more sure what it was. In fact, by the end, my fundal height measurement actually went down for a week, then stalled, because she was so low, I guess.

As for pox, we haven't vaccinated DS, but I do think we will before the teenage years, if he doesn't catch them by then. It's a long way away, but it seems that catching them and gaining natural immunity is just getting more and more difficult.

Big







to slgt, Ema, and SarahN as you continue to navigate the pregnancy days!! Both my SIL's are expecting, and my sister finds out this week if she is pregnant. Aaron and I keep joking that, with so many neices and nephews on the way, it might be a good time for a vasectomy


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## FelixMom (Aug 28, 2006)

Hi all,

Haven't been around much 'cuz we'll be moving in a couple of weeks. No long distances, just down the street and around the corner. But that still requires packing.

DS2 is doing well with potty training, and we had our first full day outside the home with no dipes and NO accidents. Up until now, he'd be bare bottom at home, but with diapers going out and about. Would be lovely to finally get rid of all those CDs once and for all!


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## smokeylo (Apr 26, 2007)

New thread for summer!! http://www.mothering.com/discussions...7#post15499257


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Bear is at the stage where he's so busy he just doesn't want to stop anything he's doing to be changed/use the potty. He is, however, physically quite ready; He wakes up mostly dry or completely dry in the morning, for example. I think that once we've wrapped up school for the bigger kiddos, I'm going to set the potty clock for him. I don't know if a princess crown will inspire him, but perhaps "My best friend Bella" will (that's what he's been calling her







). Hm. Oh I know what will do it; I'll find him a blank sketchbook. They have them at Borders all the time.







A blank sketchbook with special crayons/pencils/markers (or even just a single special pen) would absolutely inspire him to sit on the potty every hour.







I suppose he can be Prince of the Potty too.









[rant]
I had a very long discussion with someone last night which ended abruptly when we got to parenting styles. It started with this: "There is a first step, and that is teaching [children] that they have no choice but to obey; With force, if necessary."







He couldn't even grok my problem with this! Here's the real ripper: This is an individual who never has and has no plans to reproduce himself! It's also an individual who espouses "walking the middle path" and minimal/non-interference... so the philosophy with regard to [other people's!!!!] children is in direct conflict with his philosophy regarding himself.














He couldn't answer the question "Why" at all, and claimed my asking was "recursive" (because when he failed to answer, I asked again-- that's not what "recursive" means. If he had ever answered the question in the first place, I wouldn't have needed to ask again).







"Why, because you're bigger than they are?" "Why, because they couldn't possibly have a perfectly valid reason for choosing not to blindly obey you?" and on and on. When I cited examples which demonstrated that children could be given the benefit of my experience without being forced to obey, he said that I was arguing minutiae.







Seriously-- He asked about a particular child I had used as an example (a child who was very very difficult for his own parents, to put it politely, but with whom I never had any trouble): "Did he need love and hugs or discipline?" Um, love and hugs and RESPECT, that was kind of the point. I never raised a hand to this child (not even a potch on the behind for running out into traffic-- he never did that for me), nor did I randomly "impose my will" on him. More to the point, research demonstrates conclusively that I am correct. He kept saying things like "There are two possible outcomes" or "there are two kinds of children"... because every child is either hell on wheels or an obedient puppy, apparently. And he really couldn't see my problem with this.







He also completely failed to acknowledge the possibility of natural consequences, e.g. if you don't carry an umbrella, you get wet. "If the kid gets wet he can get pneumonia and someone can call CYS and the kid can be taken away." Okay... yeah, that's a possibility even the very first time, but it is SO unlikely that I can't live my life that way. He said, "A six year old is leaving with an umbrella, whether they want to or not." I said, "Isn't it possible that a six year old has a perfectly valid reason to not want to carry an umbrella? I feel like as an adult with greater experience in the world it's my job to find out why, and to provide alternatives." Then he tried to say that that discussion would have already happened. WTF?! Gah! [/rant]

Ugh, sorry for the rant but this really REALLY pissed me off.







It's also a bummer, because he was interesting to talk to before that. (Even more of a bummer because it wasn't like he was going to be parenting my children or any children with whom I am involved.







)


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## birthmommom (Apr 25, 2004)

hey mamas,
I know I haven't been around in months but I had a question for everyone.

I am friends with some mamas on facebook and have seen that some of us are expecting or have had our next one after our 2008 baby...my question is how do you afford it?
Please don't take offense I am wondering b/c we would like to have another baby but cannot afford it. We do not have insurance for dh and myself only for Henry and even that is a struggle b/c his rates continue to rise. We just bought our house and have an hour commute so now we are spending more money on gas and car repairs. There isn't much work out here where we moved which is why we commute.
If I stayed home we would be missing about $375 a month that we need, though I have toyed with the idea of keeping a few kids at the house to make money I am just not sure how that works.
My other concern is maternity care...again with no isurance how could we afford prenatal care, birth, and post natal care?
Please let me know anything that your family does to make it affordable.


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *birthmommom* 
hey mamas,
I know I haven't been around in months but I had a question for everyone.

I am friends with some mamas on facebook and have seen that some of us are expecting or have had our next one after our 2008 baby...my question is how do you afford it?
Please don't take offense I am wondering b/c we would like to have another baby but cannot afford it. We do not have insurance for dh and myself only for Henry and even that is a struggle b/c his rates continue to rise. We just bought our house and have an hour commute so now we are spending more money on gas and car repairs. There isn't much work out here where we moved which is why we commute.
If I stayed home we would be missing about $375 a month that we need, though I have toyed with the idea of keeping a few kids at the house to make money I am just not sure how that works.
My other concern is maternity care...again with no isurance how could we afford prenatal care, birth, and post natal care?
Please let me know anything that your family does to make it affordable.

It definitely wasn't planned.







I don't have insurance on anyone except me because I have to for work. We just don't go to the dr. If we have an emergency we'll go to the hospital and deal with it then, but otherwise it's not worth us forking out $180 a month (I know I'm lucky to work for the state and get a good rate) when we don't ever go to the dr. Maternity care...well we plan on going with UC for the next kiddo. Otherwise we would use a midwife and insurance barely covers anything for that anyways so I'd still be forking out more than it would be worth. Basic gist is this: A baby only costs as much as you make it cost, IMO. Besides a few diaper covers and bottles Tristyn hasn't cost us really anything. A lot less than my first who I was very "mainstream" with.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *birthmommom* 
hey mamas,
I know I haven't been around in months but I had a question for everyone.

I am friends with some mamas on facebook and have seen that some of us are expecting or have had our next one after our 2008 baby...my question is how do you afford it?
.

Good advice from Sarah Lynne. Here's my two cents worth:

I don't think anyone can ever afford a baby, we just manage the best we can. I've given up wanting a house of my own, a retirement fund, a car that's less than 20 years old etc. because those just aren't reasonable things to want any more. It's not that different from letting go of childhood wishes for a my parents to buy me a pony or going to the moon or having a big fancy wedding and marrying Keith Partridge.









Sure, I worry about not being able to make the rent or not having enough to eat sometimes, but who doesn't? When we had insurance, the premiums were so high that there wasn't enough left for the co-pay and it hardly covered anything--no maternity coverage for me and dd and her policy at 19 was about $100, mine close to $300 at 43. I'd rather have that money to pay the dentist and the chiropractor for the health care we need NOW.

The cost of not having a baby could have been a lot higher; I have a friend who is only a year older than me and started TTCing a good year before I started for Terran but she was not so lucky; after moving, selling property, changing jobs to get better insurance, etc. to cover sperm donor expenses and fertility doc expenses, she wound up having to go the donor egg route to the tune of about $60,000.

The embies did not implant. She has never been pregnant.

Terran was dirt cheap compared to that. Please don't wait too long. No amount of money is worth not having kids.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *birthmommom* 
hey mamas,
I know I haven't been around in months but I had a question for everyone.

I am friends with some mamas on facebook and have seen that some of us are expecting or have had our next one after our 2008 baby...my question is how do you afford it?
Please don't take offense I am wondering b/c we would like to have another baby but cannot afford it. We do not have insurance for dh and myself only for Henry and even that is a struggle b/c his rates continue to rise. We just bought our house and have an hour commute so now we are spending more money on gas and car repairs. There isn't much work out here where we moved which is why we commute.
If I stayed home we would be missing about $375 a month that we need, though I have toyed with the idea of keeping a few kids at the house to make money I am just not sure how that works.
My other concern is maternity care...again with no isurance how could we afford prenatal care, birth, and post natal care?
Please let me know anything that your family does to make it affordable.

Allyn....
It's my opinion that health insurance is important. (can you tell I'm Canadian? hee hee)
My husband and I make it work for us to have more children because he has an amazing job and we're pretty lucky. But we're not stupid about finances either. That being said I'm pretty frugal.
We are planning a 3rd and possibly 4th baby, but if something were to happen and our financial position changed (which would be unlikely, but stranger things have happened...) we wouldn't have another child. I won't put Trixie and Hudson at a detriment, I respect them too much for that.
I'm sure that that sounds pretty harsh, but it's how I feel. I know others may disagree. I'm sorry.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Allyn, it's nice to see you! I don't know how the other moms do it - if I didn't have step kids, I still wouldn't be having any more - if for no other reason than my emotional/mental bank account, as it were. Hang in there, momma.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Mike lost his [decent] job while I was pregnant with Bear. It's sucked rocks for all of us.







So, step one, if I do have another baby it definitely WON'T be with Mike (for more reasons than that, obviously, but no-- NOT happening). Two: In the event of another pregnancy, I'll be having a UCA3C because after what happened with Bear I will NEVER have another c-section again, and no provider in the state can legally take me on as a VBAC candidate because the laws were written by male alarmists rather than anyone with the slightest bit of sense. I am slightly tense about my elevated risk of having a child with a kidney disorder, but the other major concern (my genetic anemia) actually changes nothing that I'd do during/immediately following pregnancy/birth, so







. Yes, my risk of placenta acreta is also considerably elevated... but not as high as it would be after c-section #4. I might (MIGHT) change my mind if all hell breaks loose, but honestly it's less likely than complications developing after another c-section so... yeah, no thanks.

Three: Babies are dirt cheap, for the most part. Bella was probably my least expensive all around, and if not for the c-section complications Bear would have been even cheaper. Granted, I gave away all of my diapers and baby clothing after Bear was born, but people give those things away all the time-- I should be able to collect what I need again with the assistance of Freecycle and Craig's List. It's more difficult for me to diaper Bear (he needs a large in covers; my other three were all potty learned before they got that big) right now than it would be for #5, at least initially. Unless baby #5 is a HUGE moose of a child (and I consider that extremely unlikely, given the builds of the potential father and his child) clothing won't be an issue at all in the first two or three years. In fact, even if #5 is a gigantic baby, it probably won't be a problem. I know a lot of people who have had babies in the past year or so, there would be plenty of baby clothing to go around.

I'm hoping to buy a new sewing machine at some point this year anyway, and people are always giving away fabric on Freecycle. Moreover, I have TONS of friends who sew and who are always finding interesting fabrics in their stashes. They also spend a lot of time in fabric shops buying anything inexpensive and remotely interesting, so if I put out the word that I wanted all-natural baby-friendly fabrics I'd probably find myself drowning in the stuff.







If only I hadn't had such poor luck attempting to sew diaper covers.














Anyway... yeah. Babies are dirt cheap for the first two or three years unless they have ISSUES (like Bear). Even he costs me less than he might; His ridiculously expensive formula is covered by medicaid, for example, as are all of his visits to specialists and such. (He's also been very healthy, for the most part, since wheat and soy were removed from his diet.







) Yes, he's my youngest child and my largest, so dressing him has been a PITA sometimes... but I'll work with what I've got if the time comes.

As they get older, kids become more expensive... but mine are homeschooled and cable-free (mostly) so they don't have any understanding of the consume culture that most kids their ages are beaten over the head with. They ask for very little, and their requests are quite reasonable-- if Mike could get a job, ANY job, they could all be fulfilled fairly easily. In the case of #5, again, that sort of thing wouldn't put much in the way of financial stress on her/his parents. I think the hardest thing is probably *shoes*; Bean & Boobah have ridiculously wide feet, and while Bear doesn't he has inherited my extremely high insteps. (Bella is soooo easy to buy shoes for! It's positively thrilling for me to have a child with "average" feet!







) Shoes are a HUGE pain in the patootie for me because I will not buy low-quality shoes for the kids. Mike's mother bought a pair of craptastic sandals for Bear about a month ago because Mike couldn't be bothered finding the ones that I had bought for him, and after a day of wearing them he had huge blisters on his feet.







I wanted to kick his ass, he KNOWS I have a problem with the way he and his parents buy shoes and he knows why (I've only been talking about this for TEN YEARS!!). I've tried to teach them ALL what to look for in a pair of shoes, but there are some things that some people just can't be taught and I gave up about five years ago but Mike still allowed this to happen...







Anyway. That's a pain in the neck, but again it's not something that I worry about with #5; I've seen Jason's shoe collection, and it's a lot like my own-- VERY nice shoes that have clearly been around for a long time and were probably bought for much, much less than their sticker prices ages ago. I expect his philosophy regarding children's shoes is similar to my own. When you throw in the fact that I don't buy shoes for children until they've been walking independently and well for a fair amount of time AND the weather necessitates it, it's just not something to be concerned about right away.

So yeah. Babies are pretty cheap.







Kids definitely become more expensive as they get older, but babies? No problem. . . at least not in terms of money. I think that's a far more pressing concern-- the *other* resources, the invisible ones. Time, energy, affection, etc-- those are the really important resources, and the ones that people don't tend to think of as limited even though, let's face it, they are. For some people they're easier to come by than others, and I think that we do children a disservice when we fail to recognize and acknowledge our limitations that way.

If I do have a fifth baby, it won't be until 2012-- Bear will be four years old or damn near, Bella will be six, Boobah pushing eight and Bean will be nine and a half (!!!!). I expect that a lot of things will change (for the better) as the kiddos get older and become more independent.







For many people, though, the invisible resources are more finite than they are for me. If I had a chronic illness, for example, or a degenerative one I'd have a hard time justifying another baby-- the four I have would probably push me to my physical limits. I don't know how many times I've heard stories about women who had 4/5/6/7+ children and whose steady decline could be witnessed over the course of years of family photographs.







One friend told me that she had attended another friend's mother's funeral and that they had pictures from this woman's life all over the place and you could just tell that things had gone completely downhill with the birth of #4... so that by the time she got to #9 she was a haggard, pale shell of the woman she had been before.







I can't bring myself to pull a Duggar and compel the older children to raise the younger ones (I did too damned much of that as the eldest child in a single parent family); I'd rather stop having kids. So yeah... lots of other things to consider. Money is only part of it, and in the case of infants it's a fairly small one. (Heh, sorry this is so long... can you tell I've been thinking about this lately? Egads, I really have lost my mind...







)


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## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

To touch on one point...I also think as children get older, they get more expensive, but I also think that through teaching them the actual value of money/possessions you can curb that. I'd rather teach my kids to sew and buy them $300 worth of fabrics and edgings and buttons and whatever for them to create their own wardrobe that caters to them, then to spend that much on crappy clothes that everyone wears that fall apart within 6 months. I grew up buying frugally. I still to this day won't pay more than a certain amount of $$ for certain items. I plan to teach my kids the lesson about brand name not always equaling better quality.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

I think outside of shoes (oh Rynna I hear you on shoes!!!) and making your own clothes, children, babies, teens are expensive. No one talked about post secondary education. And I'm sure that my values are different than some here, but I want my children to go to uni and graduate. I want them to possibly work part time, but not at the expense of their education. Sure there are student loans and such, but they are a HUGE burden, I don't want them to have to worry about it. So a university education is something else we think about for them.
I like Bill Gates's approach. He's helping his children set up their lives, education and such, but he's made it clear to them that he's not leaving a huge inheritance for them, he's giving it to charity, so they won't be like the Paris Hilton's of the world. I like this idea. I want to make sure my children are set to do well in adulthood, and I feel that we need to start now.

I know that there are lots of government programs to help save for uni, (in Canada they are RESPs, not sure what they are here) but I'm not positive that they are the best way to save for your child's education.

Anyhow, so much to think of. I guess I am saying I think it's better to err on the smaller family size than the larger one.

I would love love love to have 6-7 children, but I know we can't afford that. I see these big families and I feel so jealous, but I couldn't maintain my current lifestyle with that many children. Not to mention the costs of vacations, there would be no more vacations overseas with a crew that large.

Rynna, I love how you made Duggar a verb. heh.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Heh. I've got a sister who absolutely idolizes the Duggars. She's horribly offended by the fact that I don't.









I must confess that I don't give much thought to college at all. I had no trouble getting scholarships-- not just for college, but for private education-- and I don't expect my children will either, if it's important to them. Mike had to work his own way through school and he did that with minimal loans (all paid off long since when I'd met him). That said, if I had the money I would absolutely pay for school myself. I had friends whose parents did have the money and who still made them work and go into debt to go to college and I just couldn't understand it at all. If my mom had had the money, she'd have written a check every semester without batting an eyelash.







It took me a while to realize that this was a Jewish thing, that education is one of the things parents are obligated to provide for their children and that not everyone feels the same way.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

I think the most convincing argument I have heard against large families (written by a mother of eleven) had nothing to do with the cost of maternity insurance, the exhaustion of sleepless nights, or the burden of college tuitions, but with our own limitations as parents and the guilt we inevitably feel. The more adult children you have, the greater the statistical probability that one or more of them is going to face severe problems: mental illness, abusive marriages, jail time, a serious accident or chronic illness, an early death, etc. and you, as a finite mortal human, are going to be unable to help them but as a mother, you will always feel a nagging sense of "if only I had bought organic food instead of taking them to Disneyland then Jessica might never have gotten leukemia", "If only I had forbidden Janie from seeing that boy in 7th grade, she might never have married the man who abused her", "If only I had not forbidden Janie from from seeing that boy in 7th grade, she might never have developed an eating disorder."

I still wish I'd had at least seven children, but it's way too late for that now. Please don't assume that you can wait until your 40s to have "just one more" because I did it, Allyn. I was very, very lucky.


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## Dea (Sep 26, 2006)

*crickets*
heh.
Rynna...
I kinda like the Duggars, in that I am envious of their large harmonious family.

Sooo I was interviewed by a local newspaper about cosleeping. I hope it's a good one, I'll link it here when it's ready.

oh toddler is crying for nap time.
more later.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Hey mommas, just a shout out. I don't think I'll be posting a whole lot more here, so if you'd like to stay in touch, please PM me.


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## Nature (Mar 12, 2005)

Is there a new thread I dont' know about? ..having trouble using the search to find it... and wanted to update! gah.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

Here it is:

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1283023/february-08-mamas-and-toddlers-winter-thread


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