# Did your toddler self wean while you were pregnant?



## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

If so, how old were they, how far along in your pregnancy were you, and with what frequency/intensity had they been nursing previously?

I was between 2.5 and 3 when I self weaned when my mom was pregnant, but she doesn't remember how far along she was. I have heard many moms say that their kids also self weaned during pregnancy. I'm kind of wondering if this might happen with ds.

My ds is 2.5, and I am pregnant, due in July. He will be 3yrs2mos when the baby is born. He currently nurses to sleep and when he wakes up. We also nurse about 2-5 times during the day. He asks to nurse constantly during the day - whenever he is bored, tired, hungry, thirsty, wants my attention, etc., but I just put him off with distraction or a snack or whatever, which usually works. He is pretty intense though about wanting to nurse.

I know I am going to be very sad when he weans, but honestly, tandem nursing just really doesn't appeal to me. I think it's fantastic, but I feel tired just thinking about it.

So I'm just curious as to what your experience was with a kid that weaned (or not!) while you were pregnant.


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## FreeRangeMama (Nov 22, 2001)

My ds was 20 mo when I got pg with #2. He was nursing about 12-24 times per day/night, but around 8 weeks I got a very bad virus and was quite dehydrated. My supply dropped drastically (it probably would have diminished somewhat anyway, but maybe not to that degree) and I was never able to get it back up. He still nursed even though he was getting very little, but dropped to only 2-3 feedings per day. He stayed at about that many (sometimes a bit more, sometimes less) until after ds2 was born, then he wanted to nurse non-stop. He is back to nursing first thing in the morning, bedtime, naptime (if there is one) and maybe once at night. I don't see him weaning anytime soon









Laurie


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## youngnhappymamma (Feb 3, 2002)

I am wondering teh same thing! My dd is 18 1/2 months and nurses between 10 to 18 times a day/night. I plan on nursing her at least until she is two, but also don't think tandem nursing is for me. I was still nursing my ds when I got pregnant with dd and ended up having to wean him in a week when I was about 8 to 10 weeks because I was cracking and bleeding and he just would not accept nursing less. If I do initiate weaning with dd, it will be VERY slowly and last for months....but I am hoping she will be ready to give it up on her own. I've heard that most moms loose their milk altogether in teh third trimester....true?


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## Sustainer (Sep 26, 2002)

Mine hasn't.


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

My dd weaned at 20 months when I was 2 months pg. I planned to tandem nurse if she didn't wean before ds was born but she ended up weaning on her own.

Before I got pregnant, she usually just nursed in the afternoon when she got tired and before bed. I was working 30 hr/wk while she stayed with dh or my mom so we were apart a lot. I think she may have nursed longer if I wasn't pregnant and working but I can't know that for sure.


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## shelbean91 (May 11, 2002)

My dd weaned at 20 mos when I was about 5 mos pg. I'm now about 7 weeks along and ds is still nursing. He nurses to sleep at night (usually- sometimes we rock to sleep) and to nap. He's only nursing about 2-4 times a day and I've been working on night weaning (and have been-even before I knew I was pg). If he wakes at night, I give him a drink of water and he goes right back to sleep.


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## Rachelsmom (Nov 20, 2001)

Mine did when she was 28mths and I was 7mths pregnant. It was very painful and I had to start limiting her which I hated but she did very well. She has done beautifully since Elisabeth has been born. She asked a couple of times and I let her but she said she didn't like it. I asked her why and she said it tasted like strawberries. I said, I thought you liked strawberries. She said not runny and warm!!!! LOL I thought it was hilarious!!!! But she nurses her dolls all the time and when Elisabeth is upset she says she needs mommy's milk.


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## Konur's Mom (Jun 28, 2002)

ocean, I could have written your post! Konur was born 3-11-01 and I am expecting July 3! Too funny! I was wondering the same thing.


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## Oklahoma Mama (Feb 12, 2003)

My ds weaned at 17 months when I was 3-4 months pregnant. My supply dropped. I can't say that he totally self-weaned though. He would only nurse lying down and he started kicking my belly so I stopped lying down with him to nurse and he never asked. He was probably nursing 5-6 times a day/night when I became pregnant and I dropped it down to a few times a day/night after the first few months of pregnancy.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Mine haven't. In each case, they actually started nursing more as the pregnancy went on.

Well, DS#1 spent his first few years pretty much latched on full-time







anyway, so he just stayed on as he was ... but DD went from just two or three times during the day & night to constant nursing as the pg progressed, and it appears that DS#2 is going in the same direction.










Not going to dissuade it, but sometimes feel like I should for my own sanity ... but then again, when feeling like lying down, getting them to nurse is a huge help ...


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## tiffani (May 17, 2002)

my daughter was 23 mos when my son was born and down to nursing at night and nap, and in the event of injury, sadness, etc, but once little bro came along (actually once the milk came back) she was nursing as much as he was.
She's the type who'll nurse till she's 5 or 6, just very attached to it, and to mom, but also very mature and independent. I'm glad she continued nursing, even though it's been hard at times, and I'd love for her to wean soon, but she seems to really need it, even on a limited basis.

I didn't read all the other posts, but don't despair if your kid doesn't wean, tandem comes in very handy at times, and really promotes a strong bond between the kids. I would night wean though, if you haven't already, because once the 2nd baby is there, that's nearly impossible, especially if in the same room/bed. It's taken me two years to finally get a few decent nights sleep!
Aside from the lack of sleep at night, tandem has never made me tired--little to no housework gets done and it's hard to get out of the house sometimes (with or without nursing) but I actually get a lot of rest (and reading) because I have no choice. I think sometimes it seems tiring because we're goinggoinggoing and then we're forced to sit or lie down and our body says "ooooh, thanks for the break!" but as long as you're eating and drinking enough, it isn't any more tiring than parenting in general--unless maybe some women have more of the "relaxing" hormone than others, in which case what feels relaxing to some may feel exhausting to others!

good luck! I'm sure if your son is ready (enough) to wean he will (maybe with a little encouragement/distraction)! Either way you'll figure it out!


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## beccaboo (Nov 30, 2001)

I can relate - I totally respect people who tandem nurse and I was prepared to do it if necessary, but wasn't looking forward to it. My ds did self-wean during my pregnancy though. Background info: my boys are almost exactly three years apart. Here's the story:

He was *very* slow to eat solids - by the time of his second birthday he was still almost exclusively breastfed. I got pregnant a few months later, and really thought he wouldn't ever want to give up nursing (when people asked about me nursing while pregnant I would sometimes say, "oh, he'll probably wean himself during the pregnancy" but I never actually expected he would, it was just something to say!). But my milk supply decreased dramatically near the end of my second trimester, and he found it really frustrating. We kept having these nursing sessions - trying to get him to sleep for a nap was the hardest - that were just not relaxing and he'd get almost angry about the lack of milk. I started following the "don't offer, don't refuse" tactic, and within a month or two he was weaned. I feel sad that I don't remember the timing very well - I also don't know the last day he nursed because you never really know it was the last time until later. But all in all, I feel like it was a gentle self (albeit pregnancy-induced) weaning. And the plus was he finally started eating once he wasn't able to rely on breastmilk! I'm not sure what I'll do with ds#2, because at 19 months he still eats very little solid food and we don't plan to have another baby - guess I'll be nursing this one longer than 2.5 years!

Good luck to you!


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