# Here we go...



## youngsoul (Jan 28, 2008)

Just started bleeding a little and hoping the hard part comes quickly...I'd rather have this over sooner than later! It's my first miscarriage and I'm 7 weeks but the sac only measured about 5 weeks (and my hcg levels are 4000-something, so more like in the 5 week range). Any advice for me? I don't know if I should act like everything is normal and run errands, etc. or wait around at home for something 'big' to happen. I have mild cramping. I had acupuncture yesterday morning to help move the process along, but I'm not sure it's working. I also have a big event next week and I'm wondering if I should cancel...what if I don't start really m/cing until then? 

Sorry for the silly questions... :-/

The emotional piece I'm struggling with is realizing that I may not actually be able to have the third baby I want because of my age.  I'm turning 40 in early Sept and maybe my body just can't handle this anymore. I think I'll try one more time, but probably not again if I have another m/c. I'm so grateful to have 2 kids but I would so love a third. sigh. 

Thanks to you all for any advice or thoughts you might have, and thanks so much for reading!


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## sierramtngirl (Jun 19, 2013)

Hugs mama! I don't have any answers for you, but I do understand the yearning for another little one. I am so sorry. Xo


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## Nazsmum (Aug 5, 2006)

:Hug So sorry for your loss. *
TTC after loss *has a thread for moms*.* Look that up when you are ready...


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## youngsoul (Jan 28, 2008)

Thank you both for your kind words! Xoxo


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## t2009 (Sep 1, 2009)

Hugs, mama! How are you feeling? I hope the worst of it (physically, at least) is over it & you have lots of love & light around you.


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## loveandlight33 (Dec 14, 2004)

Hope you are doing ok and you aren't still waiting for the miscarriage to happen. 

There are lots of mamas that have had losses in their late 30s and early 40s and gone on to have their rainbow babies, I don't think age is as much of a factor as we are sometimes led to believe.


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## ihathi (Mar 13, 2006)

@youngsoul , I hope you are at a peaceful place of healing now that over a month has passed since you originally posted.

I also wanted to let you know that your post made me feel less alone. I am also an older mom (38), expecting baby #3 and also just had an ultrasound that showed baby measuring a full 2 weeks smaller than it should have been.. The heartbeat was slow and weak. I'm supposed to start a new job a week from today.

Thank you for sharing your situation. I am asking the same questions you were asking a little over a month ago.

What am I supposed to do?! Stay home? Go to class?

Sending wishes for love and lightness...
Kathy


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## TizTaz5 (Jul 14, 2010)

:Hug So sorry for your loss, youngsoul. I lost my first, and basically was told that I'd never have any kids. Now, I have twins and am pregnant again. It was a long, hard struggle for me. I'm "older", also--almost 38--and had given up hope.

Your questions and concerns don't sound silly at all. Waiting on a miscarriage is terrible. I lost my little one naturally, in a process that took over 24 hours. It's rough, and my heart just goes out to you...and all other moms who have ever gone through this.

As for age, my mother-in-law had two perfectly healthy babies, at 41 (my husband!) and 48 (his youngest sister). Ironically, her first three babies didn't make it, and she was between 15 and 20 when she had them. Her first surviving child was born when she was 21. She lived in pre-partition Pakistan, and married at 14, which apparently was quite common then. You'd have thought she'd have lost the kids she had when she was past 40, but no. She had 8 surviving in all. My sister-in-law (she's #5 of the 8 kids) lost a baby in her 2nd trimester, then went on to have her youngest child when she was 39 and her husband was 55! Her youngest was perfectly healthy and will be 16 soon.

So age...yeah, it's a factor, but how big, I am not sure. An experienced midwife once told me, "Honey, I've seen high-risk moms in their 20s. And I've seen moms in their 40s have perfectly healthy pregnancies. A lot depends on your lifestyle. If you're a heavy smoker or eat a terrible diet or have serious medical issues, then your chances of problems do tend to go way up." She shrugged and added, "Age is just a small factor, really, in my mind." I tend to agree with her.

We have no way of knowing what will happen to us. I hope that you will find some healing and comfort soon, and that, if it's meant to be, you will be blessed with more children. I will keep you in my thoughts. Again, so sorry.


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## prenxichi (Nov 8, 2014)

good, I lost my little one naturally, in a process that took over 24 hours. It's rough, and my heart just goes out to you...and all other moms who have ever gone through this.


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