# So, how old IS old enough to leave a child unattended in the car?



## ProtoLawyer (Apr 16, 2007)

The answer isn't "NEVER," because eventually a child becomes old enough drive and sit in the car unattended all day....but when is it reasonable?

We were on a road trip last weekend, and I was putting gas in my car, with my 6-year-old SD in the back seat, and my partner had run in to get a drink.

I didn't go into the gas station store to use the bathroom until my partner got back...and in 2008 it never would have occurred to me to leave a 6-year-old alone in a car for those two minutes. But my parents left me alone in the car (with the engine running!) with my younger sister (preschool age), plenty when I was that age, when they ran in to pick up dry cleaning or sell a coat at the resale shop. The world isn't appreciably more dangerous these days, at least from a stranger abduction standpoint...so...why is it such a horrible idea these days? And how old is old enough? Why is sitting in a car necessarily different from, say, playing on the porch?


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## rhiandmoi (Apr 28, 2006)

I don't think it is an age thing so much as a maturity thing. When they understand how to take care of themselves if a stranger approaches the car, not to mess around with the controls, and how to take care of themselves if they get too hot or cold. So for some kids, maybe 8, some maybe 12.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

I just started leaving mine in the car at 8 and 9 for quick errands. If I'm running into a store to grab milk I'll leave them there, by the window where I can see them, with the doors locked. But they're together. I probably wouldn't leave just one in there for another year or two. And I wake them if they're sleeping. I wouldn't leave a sleeping child of any age.

Truthfully, I'm not worried about them being intentionally abducted or playing with the parking brake or anything like that. My big worry is someone trying to steal the car with them inside.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

I think there are two factors...

1). Safety and
2). The child

Safety...not necissarily other people but the car itself. Obvious heat reason here. Not as bid a deal for an older child I would assume. Roll down the window, have a sports bottle full of water for them, etc And I wouldnt expect a small child who has no impluse control yet (heck, I know some adults that struggle with that one still! lol) to understand something like that.

But...the child. Not sure I would leave a child alone in a car. It doesnt take much for them to release the handbrake for example.

So the answer isnt going to be one clear age for all children. Take all children into account individually I guess. It was when I was in my teens I was left in the car. It was the option...come in and doing boring shopping/picking up stuff with me or stay in the car with your book/magazine/toy, etc.

We shall see when we get there...but personally, I do not think it is something I would consider until the child is no longer in a car seat and if law serves me right...that wont happen until DS is roughtly 11 years old.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

depends on where you live. In CA it is AGAINST the law to leave a child under the age of 12. 4rkidssake.org/


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

i agree..you look at the law, the situation and the child.
Here, we have no law which states a specific age.
Personally, we would leave a kid around 10 for something small, running some books up to the book drop, running in to pay for gas, etc.
Probably closer to 12 for anything longer.


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## michillimackinac (Oct 4, 2008)

I would say when they're old enough to take care of themselves, but not old enough to drive off in the car.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

like pp's i agree that it's more of a decision to be made on maturity and circumstances. my babe is only 5 months old...but from working with kids I would say maybe 8 or 9.

in our area, i don't think i would leave my child younger than that. if we were in good friend/family's driveway, I might leave them for a moment (like, forgot my bag and know exactly where it is) at age 2? 3? I'm actually thinking specifically of my aunt's house which is in the boonies of NY State.

I'm not sure if I'd do that at my mom's house.









so yeah, circumstantial.


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## kewb (May 13, 2005)

It really depends. I will leave my 8 & 10 year old in the car for a quick stop (i.e. picking up dry cleaning) as long as I can see the car from inside.


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## doublyblessed (Jun 4, 2008)

a mom who took my dd who is 5 on a playdate w/ her dd's who are 6 and 2 apparently left them all in the minivan while she went into the grocery store! when my dd told me this i about hit the roof. NOT COOL. and it was hot out (summertime) so either the windows were down or the a/c was on and car obviously running...


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I think I was left at 8 and left with my little brother around 10 (he was 5). About 2 years later I'd be given the choice to stay in the car for full grocery trips if I was willing to watch him too. If Lina's like me, and the state we're living in allows it, I think that 8's quite reasonable.


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## wendyland (Apr 5, 2003)

I have left my 9 yo in the car, but didn't start until she was 8. Never more than 5 minutes. She's a very play by the rules kid. She stays seat belted in the back seat and reads a book. I don't do it often. I'm not usually in a situation where I'd need to. When I get gas, I pay at the pump. It usually happens when I pick her sister up from preschool.

I remember playing in my parents car when I was 5. I burnt myself on the car lighter. So, I've always been cautious about leaving them.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

At a gas station, probably not for a long time, at least not for anything more than to run in to pay w/ the car doors locked and everyone buckled into their seats. Many cars are stolen from gas stations, there was one here a few years back that had a little girl in the car! I LOVE my check card and always use it for gas so I don't have to go in.

I do leave the kids for a minute or 2 (generally in their seats and in a locked car) while I run into the apartment if I have forgotten something. We live on the bottom floor right by the front door to the building. I have several sets of keys so I can leave the car running if needed. I'm o.k. w/ this as we live a ways off a major road etc. There are parts of town where I would feel more comfortable leaving them as well, there's a lot of factors, but if we're talking going into a grocery store where I wouldn't be able to see them etc, it's illegal here before age 7. You can get ticketed, my friend's DH did, but thankfully all the charges were dropped b/c of the situation.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

My biggest fear in leaving kids in the car is not safety of the situation itself, but worrying more about some random stranger freaking out about it and calling the police. I think each situation is different...i would be more comfortable, for example, leaving an infant sleeping in his carseat, strapped into my locked car (not in the heat of summer of course) while i ran in to pay for gas for two minutes, than i would a toddler/preschooler who has a lack of impulse control and may get out of his seat and play with the car. My son was a pretty hyper/active kid when he was little (the kind that would leave the house when i was in the shower, or climb up onto the tv or into the fridge, etc) but he NEVER EVER tried to get out of his childseat.

Where i live, cars are not stolen from gas stations(ever)....there is ZERO risk to a child left in a car while mom runs into 7-11 and grabs a soda. Ok, yes, maybe there could be a freak accident and the car explodes or a crazed maniac chooses that particular car to take a baseball bat to or something. But i cant live my life in the "one percent" yknow?

But, these threads come up alot on this forum, and i dont think there can really be any kind of consensus about what is "ok"...i think you really need to look at what you are comfortable with and what is safe for your particular area. To me, it doesnt make any sense to unbuckle my child and run into the atm or something, when i could literally be in and back in the amount of time it would take me to unbuckle the baby, but thats me.

Katherine


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

Well, we do it now. Our older kids are 3 and 4.

Often, we will get the kids ready to go first when we're heading out somewhere. We'll buckle them into the car in the driveway. We leave the doors open. Give them a snack and a stack of books. Then DH and I will get ready ourselves and pack the car. The front door of the house is open too so at least one of us can hear them, and we're running in and out with stuff to put in the car.

We've also had one child in the car waiting in the driveway for up to ten minutes while another child was wrangled into getting ready to go. This happened a lot at the grandparents, and in that case doors (to house and car) were closed.

I think the next step from this will be errands where DH is within twenty feet of the car and can see the kids... like stopping at a bank machine or picking something up at a strip mall (I don't drive). Right now, the kids want to go in with him. We wouldn't consider it until they want to stay in the car which I don't think will be for at least a couple of years.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

I don't know what is right for any individual family here...so it is not like I have some sense of right & wrong for any of the other posters. They need to do what they feel is right for their kids.

For me though, there is no child of any age I would leave alone. It's not that I wouldn't trust them, and it's not that I think the world is more dangerous...I just cannot leave them on the chance that something would happen and then I had left them for my own convenience. _It's just not worth it to me_. They are so precious to me that I would rather inconvenience myself and know that they are with me.

I even like my adult daughter (20) to come in with me! And obviously she's had her license for years now.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I am comfortable running in to the gas station and leaving my kids in the car. I have also run into our small health food store with my kids in the car with it parked out front where I could see it.

I don't do it when it's hot outside (unless we're talking about running in to pay at the gas station). And I'm not worried about things like the kids releasing the brake because anyone stupid enough to do that would be buckled into a car seat.


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## NokomisThree (Jun 26, 2008)

I'm a long time from this decision but my impulse was if the child is old enough to be left at home alone, then they should be ok to be left in a car for xx time. I was a latch-key kid in the 70s and I walked home from the bus stop and let myself into our townhouse in the 2nd grade, so what's that, 8?
Nowadays, I agree with the above posters that busybodies and state laws might contribute to some anxiety of leaving kids that even LOOK young.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

I can't see a reason for a child to be in a car unattended. There's always going to be some better, safer alternative.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
For me though, there is no child of any age I would leave alone. It's not that I wouldn't trust them, and it's not that I think the world is more dangerous...I just cannot leave them on the chance that something would happen and then I had left them for my own convenience. _It's just not worth it to me_. They are so precious to me that I would rather inconvenience myself and know that they are with me.

Darn right.


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

I don't understand, never? You have to eventually allow your child to learn to drive, they will be without you when that happens. They can't sit in the car alone before they are sent to navigate the world by themselves? Weird.


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## guestmama9904 (Jul 6, 2002)

i do it occaisionally with my 7 and 7.5 year old kids. my DSS age 6 always wants to go where i am going so i dont leave him and the other two are more mature and less likely to try and do something dangerous. also i only leave them if my errand will be 5 minutes or less and if it is in an area i feel is "safe" and if the weather permits and the kids are ok with it. i honestly do not think it is the end of the world to leave your child in the car occaisionally, obviously it is crazy to leave an infant or to leave kids in the car with the keys in the ignition or to leave kids in the car in warm or cold weather but i dont think its a hard and fast never.

to pp who mentioned kiddo being in a car seat until age 11, is this the law where you live or just a personal safety preference? just curious as here in MN the law is age 4 or under must be in a car seat, otherwise, legally a seatbelt is fine.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
For me though, there is no child of any age I would leave alone.

Did you really mean to write this?

Since you mentioned your adult dd, i assume you are including even older kids and teens in the term "child"...

Are your kids alone, ever? In the car, on the way to school, at home for a few minutes while you run an errand?

Obviously you should make whatever choices are comfortable for you and your family...but this is so strange to me. My 11 yr old routinely rides his bike around our city, in a couple mile radius (i like to give him my cell phone just in case he needs any help)...lots of kids walk to and from school...

I understand not leaving an infant alone in a car, esp with what could happen if someone reports you, but i get the sense from reading this thread that some people wouldnt even let their ten yr old sit in the car while they run and pay for gas...unless you live in an area where carjacking happens on a regular basis, i dont get this. Yes, "something" could happen, but "something" can happen no matter WHERE you are. Like i said, to each her own, but its strange to me. (and obviously, if the child isnt comfortable sitting in the car for two minutes, and WANTS to come in, thats a different story.)

Katherine


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I bring my daughter in to pay for gas, but I don't bring her in to run to the video drop slot in the vestibule of the video rental store because I can see her the whole time and she's fine there. It depends on the circumstances. Also, I live in a quiet, small town with a very low crime rate. If I lived somewhere else that would influence it as well.


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## ~savah~ (Aug 24, 2008)

Sometimes I leave my sleeping daughter in the car when I run in to check the mail. I live in a very small town where a car jacking has never occurred and I can see my car from the window. It just doesn't make any sense to me me to take her out when I can be in and out in less time than it would take get her out of the car. And yeah my biggest fear is someone freaking out, I've seen it happen to other people in my post office.

BTW, the way I read the California law is that "a child who is 6 years of age or younger" can be left alone without a child over the age 12 (1) Where there are conditions that present a significant risk to the child's health or safety. (2) When the vehicle's engine is running or the vehicle's keys are in the ignition, or both.
I don't see what I do as presenting a significant risk to my dd's health or safety otherwise I would not do it! Not because of the law but because I would never expose my daughter to unnecessary risk. I'm sure that I'll get flamed for even writing this but it is how I feel.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Quote:

Did you really mean to write this?

Yes, I did.

Quote:

Since you mentioned your adult dd, i assume you are including even older kids and teens in the term "child"...


By child I meant any child of mine who is young enough not to have their drivers license. When my daughter decided to get her drivers license she was 16. She practiced a lot, and she always practiced with another adult in the car with her. Once she got her license she obviously drove alone all the time. Honestly, I still felt a little weird about it. My child old enough to be out on her own. I would never restrict her....it was just me feeling that way.

Quote:

Are your kids alone, ever? In the car, on the way to school, at home for a few minutes while you run an errand?


No, they're not. They are never alone in the car while I run in somewhere. I can't think of a reason to leave them alone in the car. They are wonderful kids and they love to come in with me whatever we're doing. I can't imagine how I would feel if I left them in the car just for a moment, and during that moment something happened that could have been avoided by my _presence_.

My kids don't go to school. I unschool them and so they do not have to do that. They are free to do what they want and make their own choices.

No, they are also not home alone while I leave to go drive somewhere. Why would I need to do that? If I need to do something alone I find someone who loves them to watch them while I'm gone.

Quote:

My 11 yr old routinely rides his bike around our city, in a couple mile radius (i like to give him my cell phone just in case he needs any help)...lots of kids walk to and from school...


My kids also ride their bikes & electric scooters around our farm. We live rurally so we have lots of acres for them to do this. This is a different situation to me than leaving them alone in the car in the city. We are home, I am home, I am right there should anything happen...and I know every adult around us.

Quote:

but this is so strange to me


I can't see why this would be strange to you. I frankly think it's strange to lack the instinct to keep your kids with you when you're in a city, surrounded by people you do not know.

Quote:

Yes, "something" could happen, but "something" can happen no matter WHERE you are.
Yes, something could happen wherever you are. I guarantee you though, that if something does happen, I will be right there to take care of the kids and help the situation if I can.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Quote:

I don't understand, never?
Maybe I can help you understand.

My instincts tell me to take my kids in with me when we're out driving around in the city in our vehicle. I always follow my instncts. It doesn't make sense to leave them alone in the car. Why would I? So things would be more convenient? I don't need things to be more convenient.

Quote:

You have to eventually allow your child to learn to drive, they will be without you when that happens
My kids make their own decisions about learning to drive. I've only had one kid old enough to do this, and it worked out such that she wanted to practice with me. I was also there when she took the test because she wanted that. After she got her license obviously she drove alone whenever she wanted. I don't see what this has to do with leaving kids alone in the car?

Quote:

They can't sit in the car alone before they are sent to navigate the world by themselves?
I do not see what sitting in the car alone has to do with navigating the world by themselves?







As I mentioned in my previous post, my children are unschooled and so they live every moment of their lives in the real world. They are not in the classroom all day long, they are out living. They are learning to navigate the world with hands on experience. They learn MORE by coming in with me...to the gas station while we count out the money to pay...to the video store while we shop and discuss movies and things....to whatever errand or thing I am doing..they learn more by coming with me than they would by sitting in the car alone. And, they are safer.









Quote:


Weird.
Thanks. Maybe I am weird. You're certainly not the first person to think it and you won't be the last. I follow my instincts with my kids and that's that.


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

By driving, they are literally navigating the world alone. If they are not safe at 15.5 sitting in the parking lot alone, how are they safe at 16 driving alone? That was my point.


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## mama in the forest (Apr 17, 2006)

Maybe they're not safe. I don't know. Safe is arbitrary. We're all driving around in large metal machines trying to be as careful and safe as we can.

Are you being as careful and as safe as you can be when you leave little ones in the car alone?


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

I have found lately that ds loves freedom in small doses. He finds an awesome amount of pride in it. Children need to be alone at some point. To explore on their own for one. They love to know that they are being trusted. So I think range and amount of time should depend on maturity level. Right now I would leave ds while I dropped movies or something that was within sight. Although I don't think I'd do a whole shopping trip for several years.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
I am comfortable running in to the gas station and leaving my kids in the car. I have also run into our small health food store with my kids in the car with it parked out front where I could see it.

I don't do it when it's hot outside (unless we're talking about running in to pay at the gas station). And I'm not worried about things like the kids releasing the brake because anyone stupid enough to do that would be buckled into a car seat.

We thought my little brother wouldn't. I got to go from buckled in the back seat to resetting the parking brake in the front (minivan) while the car was starting to roll at 11 or 12. So I'd make not messing with the brake be a specific rule.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
I am comfortable running in to the gas station and leaving my kids in the car. I have also run into our small health food store with my kids in the car with it parked out front where I could see it.

I don't do it when it's hot outside (unless we're talking about running in to pay at the gas station). And I'm not worried about things like the kids releasing the brake because anyone stupid enough to do that would be buckled into a car seat.

I *HOPE* you always remain this lucky!!!


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
My kids also ride their bikes & electric scooters around our farm. We live rurally so we have lots of acres for them to do this. This is a different situation to me than leaving them alone in the car in the city. We are home, I am home, I am right there should anything happen...and I know every adult around us.

I can't really understand the logic of being ok with your children being *acres* away from you, but not mere steps/feet away from you (like to run in and pay for gas, or run in and get a pop from 7-11, places practically within eyesight of your car)...i understand you are afraid of "the city" but i think it might be beneficial to look more logically at what you are saying.

Quote:

I can't see why this would be strange to you. I frankly think it's strange to lack the instinct to keep your kids with you when you're in a city, surrounded by people you do not know.
Well, i dont live in The City (i am picturing the heart of NYC or Chicago or something??)...i live in a city with about 20,000 people, and there has been maybe one murder here in the past fifty years (it was a family thing, not stranger), the extent of the crime is people getting tools stolen out of their garage.

"Lack of instinct"? Very confusing to me...what does instinct have to do with it? I dont leave my house assuming people are out to hurt us. If there seems to be a situation that is sketchy, i act accordingly. If i'm not sure of what type of neighborhood i'm in, i'm more careful. If there seems to be people around that appear unsafe, i'm more careful.

Frankly, i would be MORE nervous living on acres and acres of land, in a rural area than i would leaving my kid in the car for two minutes at a gas station. To each her own. I remember thinking, when dog sitting for a friend that lived in one of those suburbs surrounded by farmland, how scared i'd be to live there (in fact, i didnt even spend the night, i drove all the way back home to the city, this was when i lived in Cincinnati...i was never so happy to see all those people and lights!)

There have been kids kidnapped right off the road in their rural areas, playing in front of their homes, heck even kidnapped right out of their bedrooms in the middle of the night.

What, precisely, do you think is going to happen to your 12 yr old sitting in a locked car for a few minutes? Your 16 yr old with a license, driving around, is FAR more at risk of "something happening"....i dont get it (havent yet read your other response, so hopefully i will get it then!)

Quote:

Yes, something could happen wherever you are. I guarantee you though, that if something does happen, I will be right there to take care of the kids and help the situation if I can.
So you think if you run in to pay for gas (drop off a package, get a pop, whatever) that you will be SO far away from your kids that you couldnt immediately help them?

I think as parents its kind of important to realize we can't control everything, i know thats a scary thought...that something bad could happen and there may be nothing we can do about it. You could live your life with "if onlys" but there just seems to be so much fear in what you've written...i dont think its healthy. I've made choices that could be seen as risky: homebirth, not vaxing, etc...but i know that i can live with the possible consequences of those choices.

Have your kids ever had the chance to navigate a situation on their own? My son can ride his bike down to the local chinese restaurant, order a meal, figure out the tip, and ride home. I think its good for kids to learn this kind of independance (only when they feel ready to of course)...i dont think its a benefit for an older child/teen to be with an adult 100 percent of the time, without fail. And to do that because YOU are scared or "couldnt live with yourself" if something happened seems even less healthy.

Katherine


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoonStarFalling* 
I have found lately that ds loves freedom in small doses. He finds an awesome amount of pride in it. Children need to be alone at some point. To explore on their own for one. They love to know that they are being trusted. So I think range and amount of time should depend on maturity level. Right now I would leave ds while I dropped movies or something that was within sight. Although I don't think I'd do a whole shopping trip for several years.











Of course all kids are different, but my son has increasingly enjoyed the "alone" time he has from riding his bike to the store, paying with his own money, etc. He likes when i run an errand and trust him enough to leave him home. He sometimes prefers, if i'm running into the store and he doesnt want to go, just sit and read his book in the car. Its kind of offensive to read that this means i must not have the instinct to protect my child, or must not love spending time with him.

Katherine


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

I've run in to pay for gas before and left them but never for more than maybe 5 minutes. I've gone in seen a long line and gone to another station because I didn't want to chance leaving them for longer than a few minutes.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
I can't see a reason for a child to be in a car unattended. There's always going to be some better, safer alternative.

i agree with this statement, but we probably need to define the term "child". my ds1 was 6'2 at age 15. and not a small "child". at age 13, he was around 6'.....i think at that age, i did leave him in the car if i had to go inside the gas station for something. i guess for me, a child is not 6 feet tall! lol! but another 13 yo...i don't know. my ds2 isnt there yet (he's 10).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
Maybe I am weird. You're certainly not the first person to think it and you won't be the last. I follow my instincts with my kids and that's that.

you may be weird. im weird too though.









i follow my instincts also w/ my kids and i dont think it has to do w/ a certain age but rather whether one of my kids is a "child" or a "responsible person whom i can trust to remain in the car and be responsible and aware enough to protect themselves in case someone comes up to the car" kind of thing. I dont believe my 10 yo fits that test. My ds1, however, at 13, did.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

Quote:

to pp who mentioned kiddo being in a car seat until age 11, is this the law where you live or just a personal safety preference? just curious as here in MN the law is age 4 or under must be in a car seat, otherwise, legally a seatbelt is fine.
Doesn't make it safe. Most kids don't fit in adult seatbelts till around age 10, some more than that. Carseats is a very loose term and can include boosters as well. My kids will be in boosters for years to come, my 5.5yo is still harnessed and will be for at least another 18 mos I bet. This whole thread isn't necessarily black and white, but carseat safety is. Rear facing is safest, harnessed is safest after that, and using a booster till they can fit in an adult seat is safest after that.


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## Calidris (Apr 17, 2004)

I recently went to a self service gas station, where I had to pay at a building, maybe 40 feet away from the pump, as I took DD (4.5) out of her seat, lead her across the open paved area, then paid (still holding her hand, since it is _right_ next to the paved driving area), walked back, strapped her into her seat, then walked around the car get to my side and get in to drive off, it dawned on me that I was probably exposing her to more risks taking her out than leaving her in the car.

The time I am bucking and unbuckling DD the car is unlocked and the drivers side is on the opposite side to where i am, were someone to try to steal the car, when DD was half buckled in (and since most people who fear car jacking with child left alone are within a few seconds of the car, I assume it can be a very quick process) I can't imagine I would get her out in time.

When I strap DD in and walk around the car, with key in hand, I am probably at my most vulnerable to a desparate car thief.

Walking through the driving area and attepting to pay by card with DD at my side is also risky.

Really, I have no idea what I will do next time. Probably go to the normal gas station.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama in the forest* 
Maybe they're not safe. I don't know. Safe is arbitrary. We're all driving around in large metal machines trying to be as careful and safe as we can.

i hate cars.

i think that every time i see a smooshed animal in the road.

OT but just had to say it.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *arismama!* 

to pp who mentioned kiddo being in a car seat until age 11, is this the law where you live or just a personal safety preference? just curious as here in MN the law is age 4 or under must be in a car seat, otherwise, legally a seatbelt is fine.

my ds is 10.5 and still in a booster seat b/c he doesnt meet the 5 point test in our SUV. I seatbelt may be fine "legally" but IMHO the law is not protective enough from a car seat safety POV.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

wow...and i'd also like to say that i have drastically underestimated how convenient it is to have people pumping our gas and taking payment for us (here in NJ).


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## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

The only time my DS is left "alone" in the car is when I am running things into the house while he sleeps in the car seat in the driveway. I can't see him from the house, but if I have groceries that are melting in the bags and a bunch of other things that need to come inside, then I leave him strapped in and snoozing with the car locked while I dash inside and drop them on the floor (or tossed in the freezer) and then dash back out and get him. Any other time, I don't agree with leaving him in the car. I once ran back into a store to get a forgotten receipt while DS played in the car with a new toy while strapped into his car seat, but I came back out and he was screaming. Never again.

I just don't think it is a good idea.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Kids are 8 and 5. I will leave them to run into the PO, run to an ATM. If I couldn't pay at pump, I'd leave them in the car for that. I'll run up to a library drop box, into a friend's house, or back into the house if I forgot something. I always buckle them into the car before returning the shopping cart to the cart corral, too. When #1 had a strep throat, I left him in the car in the parking lot of preschool when I went to pick up #2 rather than taking him in and exposing him to everyone.

Honestly, in most of those situations I think they're safer. Parking lots are full of stupid drivers looking for parking spots and not looking out for pedestrians. Gas stations? You're more likely to get held up inside paying than have your car jacked while you're away from it. ATMs? Ditto. Last thing I need when using one is to have to keep track of young kids while putting in my pin discreetly and watching out for people coming up behind me.

Then of course there's the weather issue. I'm supposed to unstrap both kids and frog march them 15 feet to stand in a bitterly cold wind with me when the car is warm?

The most vulnerable I've ever felt dealing with my babies in the car was that period when you have to lean your upper body into the car in order to fasten the carseat straps - that's the moment you could get hit from behind.

My instincts, many times, tell me it would be safer to leave my kids in a locked, warm, car than to go through the rigmarole of getting them out, getting them safely across a parking lot or street, doing what I have to do, getting them safely back across the parking lot, getting them both strapped firmly and safely back into their seats, and getting me back into my seat. I do tend not to leave them in the car as much as I might otherwise because I know there are too many fearmongering busybodies who do things like call the cops if you're not close enough to the car to touch it at every possible second.


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## beaner&tiegs (Aug 3, 2003)

I leave my kids in the car if they don't want to get out - for example, when I'm getting lunch to go at a local deli and I can see them from the window, or if I'm dropping off a video/getting gas. If they want to come with me, of course they can, but sometimes they want to continue listening to their story on CD or they just don't want to get out in the rain or whatever. A few times, my instincts have felt very uncomfortable with leaving them so then I take them out, but most of the time I feel totally fine with it. My 8 year old also happens to be very responsible and mature, so that helps.


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## Channelle (May 14, 2008)

I honestly don't have a very good answer. But I have a couple thoughts on it...

-My brother and I were left alone ALOT at home and in the car, and never thought it was wrong....That said, I remember a time when I was about 3 and my brother was about 8 and we were left alone in the car at a grocery store. The driveway was kind of a slope, like a hill, and we were parked at the top and one of us (can't remember who-fuzzy memory) hit the parking brake and we started to roll, and all I remember is being scared and then my grandfather coming out and physically standing in front of the car and stopping it. My mother thought we wouldn't be able to unlock the parking break but somehow we managed...this has always made me leery of the idea of leaving a child in a car alone, especially on a hill!

-I really don't have much experience at this point as my children are my eight year old stepson and a 7 month old. I don't leave the ss alone in the car that I can think of, as he is easy to get in and out of the car and likes to go in with me. So if I go to a gas pump and have to pay inside, he just comes with me. Of course I do leave him in the car alone while I pump the gas...he doesn't come stand by me. I've never been in the position where it's just been me and the baby in the car, so I've never had to leave her alone, my mom or partner is always in the car with me. I wouldn't leave the 8 year old and the baby in there alone either, I'd be too worried that she would start crying and he wouldn't be able to sooth her.

-Also, in our apartment building, we are in a large apt. complex on the 10th floor where each floor has it's own hallway. Yesterday, the baby was asleep in the stroller, the I struggled to get out the doorway without having the door hit it and waking her up or by hitting the doorframe and waking her up. Once I got her into the hallway, I remembered something I left in the apt. So I either had to struggle to get her back in or leave her in the hallway while I ran back in. Well what I wanted was not in it's place it usually is, so I had to search for it. By the time I got back to her, I was panicked. What if she had started crying? What if someone came by the hallway and grabbed her? What if someone across or down the hall had taken her into their apts? No, I can't ever imagine myself leaving her!


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