# Gah! Why does my 1 yr old try to claw my face off?



## babynurse11 (Sep 26, 2004)

Is this a normal thing? How do I get it to stop? It's hard to hug and cuddle my baby when she inflicts some pretty serious hurt on me. She seems almost compelled to reach out and grab at my face, hard. This is beyond frustrating to me, and her.


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

It is so upsetting to be hurt. It brings such immediate frustration to the surface, doesn't it?

She does not understand she is hurting you though, and yes her behavior is completely normal. All she knows is that when she hits your face you express a new strong reaction. It's fascinating and terrifying. She's so wired to be curious and try to understand, she does it again. She keeps hitting/hurting you because she is trying to understand why you react the way you do. She may even laugh or smile, but at 1 yo. this is because she is impressed to see cause and effect in action~if she hits mommy on the face, mommy makes lots of noise and new expressions! Curious! Fascinating (to her)!

But she still has no clue what you feelings _mean_. She does not know what "upset" means. Even when she is upset, she is not old enough to talk about it reflectively. It's all happening here and now at 1 yo.

Your best approach is prevention and redirection. Watch for her "signs" that she is about to hit. Many toddlers have them. My own ds would get a funny little furrowed brow+smile look before he would hit me at that age. Try to catch her then, hold her hand in yours, put it gently on your face and say "Gentle hands". Then give her something to hold that she can bang if she seems to need that outlet. If she persists in trying to hit you I would set her down and move away (in sight) repeating "gentle hands" while redirecting her elsewhere.

When she does hit I wouldn't overdo the reaction, something genuine "Ouch! That hurts!" then take her hand and put it gently on your face and repeat "Gentle Hands".

The biggest cure for this is time. If you are consistent she will get the message when she is developmentally ready to understand. By 3 my ds almost never hit. Time made the biggest difference.


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## Tonia80 (Jun 10, 2006)

I understand! It can be fro a couple different reasons I can think of. one is, at that age they don't have alot of control over HOW they touch, she very well may not be meaning to hurt you. Also, if she gets a good reaction from you she may continue. Try holding her hand and showing her how to gentle touch.
I feel your pain though! My 15 month old likes to claw at my face while I nurse him and sometimes it can put a hamper on a breastfeeding relationship I otherwise adore.


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

*Is this a normal thing?*
Yup!!!

*How do I get it to stop?*
Patience. She'll eventually outgrow it. Just keep redirecting her, reminding her to be gentle, and keep those little nails trimmed.









Reese hit what I hope was his peak of clawing about a month ago. He seems to be on the upswing now and if he hears the word "gentle" he strokes his cheek, it's so cute.


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## babynurse11 (Sep 26, 2004)

Thanks for the replies. It's encouraging to know this is a normal thing, and frustrating to know that nothing but time will decrease the behavior.


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## echodonn (Jul 18, 2002)

So I remember Ana doing this but I don't know when it stopped... Caitlin is biteing me any chance she can get and then smiles at me so cute. She is also biteing Ana and hitting her dad, even hitting her great grandmother!







: SO I say, "gental hands," and "give kisses" and mimic the desired behavior, but when do they grow out of this?


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## SneakyPie (Jan 13, 2002)

Also with our son it was a coordination issue as well as liking the reaction - I think he often was *trying* to gently pat and stroke, but he wasn't yet in full control of his limbs so it came out as an explosive, scratchy movement. He did eventually learn how!


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