# i'm so horrible, i think co-sleeping is over



## mysticmomma77 (Jun 18, 2007)

the night before last my daughter ( 8 1/2 months) crawled off the side of the bed.








it was 1 am, i was right there next to her asleep. i ALWAYS wake up if she moves at all, but this time i didnt. as soon as i heard the thump i woke and new what happened. and i jumped over the side of the bed and grabbed her just as she was starting to scream. she is fine now...i have been watching for any signs of concussion or bruising and there is nothing.
after it happened i brought her into the living room in the light to make sure she was ok, then nursed her. while i was nursing her my entire body started tingling and i was overcome with the urge to vomit. and i cried. i was trying to stay clam while she was in my arms, but it was very hard. i kept her up for an hour to watch her and make sure she was acting normal. then when she fell asleep again, i cried alot.








how could i be such a horrible mommy to let her fall off?
i could kick myself repeatedly for this and i cant stop thinking about it, and how could it happen. i have always thought co-sleeping was great even though all my friends said i was crazy.
last night i put her in her crib, and cried again as i watched her sleeping.
i love her sleeping with me, but i dont think i can let her in my bed anymore. she just started crawling last week, she has never "rolled" out.

i am open to anything anyone has to say, even if it is how stupid i am


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## Manfa (May 27, 2007)

The other night I had a similar moment after I got ds out of the bath. I was concentrating so hard on holding him (they're like little eels arent they) that I wasnt watching his head properly and i bumped it against the side of the cabinet. I was moving slowly and carefully so luckily it wasn't a had bump but it did surprise him and made him cry. And I was overcome with terror and panic and guilt. I did the SAME as you - held him, nursed him, kept him awake a bit and scrutinised him for any lumps, bruises, marks, unusual behaviouir..... i cried and shook and wanted to be sick and i barely slept all night. So I would be the LAST to call you stupid. I have no advice to offer at all but I think I do have an idea how you feel and I know its no good telling you not to beat yourself up over it. What made it worse for me was dh yelling id probably given him brain damage and how could i be so stupid etc. It didnt help but I cdnt answer him.... if he'd done it I'd have gone into a total fit.


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## arlecchina (Jul 25, 2006)

poor both of you, you're not trrible, it was just an accident. can you put the mattress on the floor so you dont stop cosleeping because of worries?


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## iamama (Jul 14, 2003)

Your not stupid!!! Shit happens! I dropped my dd of our extra high bed because I was so tired I thought she was going into the middle...nope. Thud. Scream. I know how horrible it makes you feel. Hugs mama... be gentle on yourself.


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## lrmama (Jan 5, 2004)

You're being really hard on yourself! I know you feel terrible, but accidents happen. DD2 fell off of a changing table while I was holding onto her leg, so I know that falls can happen in the blink of an eye.

I second the mattress on the floor idea.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Oh honey, all of my kids have fallen out of our bed. They're all alive and well. It's normal for it to scare you when it happens, but children are very durable.

Also, them rolling out of bed (which doesn't last, they soon figure out where the edge is) wasn't reason enough for us to stop co-sleeping. They were still happier in bed with us.


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## sarbear (Mar 21, 2007)

The exact same thing happened to me when ds was that age. It is horrible, I know. We put a rail up on one side of the bed, and pushed the other side up against a wall. It hasn't happened since. Accidents happen, thank goodness in our cases the babies weren't hurt


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

We put the mattress on the floor. Even if a baby rolled off the bed, it would be a six inch drop onto the carpet.

I'm glad everything is OK.


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

That happened to dd at about the same age. I always would nurse her and then put her back on the side between myself and the wall, and one night I just fell asleep with her on the wrong side and she fell off....onto hardwood floors. Poor thing. She cried for about 30 seconds and then nursed back to sleep. We ended up side carring the crib after that. First to ensure that it didn't happen again, and second to give us some more room, since she was getting bigger and more wiggly. It's been the perfect solution for us. No worries mama, I think every kid falls off the bed/couch/stairs at some point. It's a rite of passage or something!


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## andreac (Jul 13, 2003)

Oh honey, don't be so hard on yourself! Both of my kids have fallen out of my bed multiple times and we're still co-sleeping. Like a pp said, shit happens! Could you try keeping her in the middle if it would make you feel better? or getting a bed rail?

Maybe this will make you feel better, the first time my first baby fell off the bed he was teeny tiny, like just starting to squirm around tiny. I didn't know he could move so much in his sleep yet, so he was alone in the center of our bed, but surrounded by pillows. He managed to squirm up to the top then off the side so he not only fell of the bed, but fell between the bed and the side table, I assume smacking into both on the way down! Poor baby, but he was totally fine and yours will be too.


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

my dd fell out of our big high bed when she was around a year. I felt horrible, she screamed, i cried.
It never happened again, she is 3 now, and only just recently stopped co-sleeping, though i do wake up to her in our bed every morning


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

my DD fell out of bed cosleeping the other night too. however the pillow i put to the side of the bed fell first and she landed on it and didn't cry.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Everyone of my kids has fallen out - and more than once. In fact, my 21 month old fell out the other night. They have all survived no worse for wear.


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## noah's mom (Jan 3, 2006)

DS has fallen out of our bed too - more than once (but once he got to that "mobile" age, we too took the bed off the frame and onto the floor). They do learn quickly how to avoid it. It really was just an accident. It certainly is traumatic (more for mama than baby IMO) when it happens, but your baby will be fine and it doesn't mean you have to stop cosleeping.

Just wait until she starts walking - then the REAL bumps and bruises begin!

You're not a bad mama!!!!!


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## guestmama9915 (Jul 29, 2004)

The crib is not necessarily safer, I've had friends who've told me horror stories of their little ones climbing out of their cribs and falling on the floor. So...









Get some bed rails or put the bed lower, or put it against the wall.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

My DD fell out of our bed onto our hardwood floor and she was fine. We pushed the bed against the wall (only one of us sleeps with her) - problem solved.

I agree that cribs can be riskier, if they learn to climb out and don't notify you of the fact.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

When that happened to our DS we were both awake and saw it happen. I was across the room in the closet getting dressed and DP was in bed under the covers, DS crawled to the foot of the bed and off before either of us to him. It felt like we were moving in slow motion and it was really scary. Of course he was fine, but we felt just terrible.

We baby proofed the room, and took the box spring and bed frame out to the garage that weekend.


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## mysticmomma77 (Jun 18, 2007)

wow, thank you all so much for sharing your stories








i still feel bad, but not nearly like i did before i read all your replies. i think i may take the bed off the frame, and possibly turn it so it has a long side against the wall. i am the only one that sleeps with her, so she was in the middle, but only pillows on the other side of her...they must have broken her fall. they were on the floor also, and being that she had no bruises, i guess thats what happened.

thanks again for making me feel better guys!!







:








:
this site is great!


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

I'm another mama who's kid fell off the bed.My gal fell off the bed and I was awake standing right there.Uhg!I just couldn't catch her.It felt awful.

But like others have said get a rail or put the bed on the floor if you still want to cosleep.We have a rail and that has worked great.


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

Unfortunately, all of my children have fallen off of my bed at least once around that age. We have the mattress and box springs on the floor, but it is still pretty high. They all survived, but I felt horrible each time. However, I also know that I can't do everything to protect them, even though I try.

I also bonked my first child's head against a corner when he was about a week old. Talk about feeling badly!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Yep. They all fall off. The stage doesn't last long.









Try putting her in the middle for awhile.

-Angela


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## FLMama092485 (Jul 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Manfa* 
What made it worse for me was dh yelling id probably given him brain damage and how could i be so stupid etc. It didnt help but I cdnt answer him.... if he'd done it I'd have gone into a total fit.

I really hope that he wasn't serious?!!








s I never had dd fall out of bed with me cause I never co-slept with DD. But at about 9 months she did have a nasty fall. I lived in an upstairs apartment. But the stairs were in the apartment. I had a prssure gate at the top of the steps to help keep her from falling. Well, I went down the stairs to put the trash outside the door so DH could take it to the dumpster. The gate was up and I lookes up at her smiling face, she had pulled herself up and was using the gate. Next thing I knew she had fallen down 18 of the 21 stairs. I cried, called my mom and we took her to the ER. She was fine. All she had was some rug burn on the tip of her nose.







It's ok babes are so durable.


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## KristenandMadelein (Feb 10, 2006)

babies bounce!

My daughter(now 2) fell off the bed at 3 months old. I put her in the middle of our queen sized bed. I walked out of the room and left her napping there. She never would move in her sleep. Well I didn't even get to the living room when I heard this awful scream. I ran in there and she was under my side table face up tangled in the lamp wire with the lamp hanging off the table. I about had a heart attack. I called my mother in hysterics, made her come over and check out the baby. I had an all out anxiety attack.

She fell off twice more since that.

It happens. As long as she is okay then try not to worry about it so much.

I should listen to myself though. But today my daughter was going swimming with her auntie (titi) and auntie was in the pool and Madeleine was on the side waiting to be taken in. Well auntie was on the phone to her mum and leaned over to put towel on the side. Before she could even turn her head the baby dove into the pool. I about died when I heard about this. Baby is fine, she loved it! Titi's phone however doesnt ring anymore.


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## granola_mom (Jun 11, 2007)

This has happened with my DD, too. I worried alot in the moment, same as you really. But she's fine, and she still sleeps in bed with us. We have a bed rail and pushed the other side of the bed against the wall. I still get worried, but it's better having her in bed with me than in her crib.


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## hohum (Jun 27, 2007)

Poor you.....don't be too hard on yourself. You are talking about when you were sleeping. My nephew fell off the table while I was sitting right there.So just take it easy......shit happens!


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## hohum (Jun 27, 2007)

Poor you....don't be so hard on yourself. My nephew fell off the table while I was sitting right there. At least you were asleep. At 81/2 months you must be really tired looking after your kiddo. So just chill........does not make you a terrible mama at all.


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## TypingMJ (Nov 10, 2005)

Falls from the bed aren't exclusive to co-sleeping families. Today my mother told me about how my youngest brother used to climb out of his crib and fall when he was about 9 months old. Accidents happen no matter where your little one sleeps.







Don't beat yourself up.


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## Eben'sMama (Jun 29, 2006)

Our DS has fallen a few times, even with a guardrail on one side of the bed and the full-sized cosleeper on the other. It happens. He is just fine, and your DD is, too. She's at an age when you can start to teach her how to scoot backwards off the bed onto her feet.
I once heard another MDC mama say that her family had made up a rhyme to teach their DC to do this:

"Feet first, not your head;
that's the way we get down from the bed."









Cute, huh?

Forgive yourself! Also, as the PP said, you have no idea about the bumps and bruises until they start walking!







:


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## oogieboogie (Oct 20, 2006)

Safety First bed railing $19.99 Babies r Us- works for me!


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

it happens to all of us. My ds fell off our bed when he was 5 days old. I put him behind me and then in my sleep deprived state leaned forward to get my shoes on and he slid. I felt awful my dp kept trying to reassure me but I was totally beside myself. I made him take us to the ped just to be sure. My dd has yet to fall out of a bed. Our mattresses are on the floor and as soon as she was crawling her brother would tell me if she got to close to the edge or he would help her down







.


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## angrypixiemama (Jan 5, 2007)

You are not a bad mama. Accidents happen. Be kind to yourself.









And as an aside. The other day, DD (7 months) was just playing in her crib while I folded her laundry. (That's all we use her crib for - laundry - since we co-sleep.) She has been sitting up on her own lately, but isn't really a climber or a crawler. So I turn to put something in her closet, and when I turn back around, she has totally pulled herself into a standing position and is bent over her crib rail, ready to tumble. My heart was in my throat, and I called my husband at work to say thank god we co-sleep. She must have literally learned that move in the 15 seconds it took me to hang up her outfit. If we left her in her crib all night, we wouldn't know that until she fell out. Now we have lowered the mattress in the "laundry-holder", in case she decides to climb again while playing there.


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## adamsfam07 (Sep 9, 2006)

I think your being way too hard on yourself. My ds fell off the bed the other day, I was right there and we were playing in the pillows and he rolled over and I just couldn't grab in him time. He landed on his head and did a front flip. I freaked out he screamed I was screaming but he's okay. He also crawls in his sleep and there has been a few times I've woke up to find him crawling away,







But I haven't given up on co-sleeping. I'm sure your little one is just fine, still happy and healthy.


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## EVC (Jan 29, 2006)

My dd fell off three (or four?) times around that age...It happens! Then she learned how to climb off the bed safely and no more accidents! Don't beat yourself up over this


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Oh, mama.





















You are not stupid. My child was about 5 (!!) months old when he first (yes, first!) fell off the bed. I could have smacked my husband, because he was supposed to be watching him, and he was really commando crawling a whole lot.

Since then he has fallen off the bed twice (?) more, and once off the couch.







What can I say? He's a rambunctious little boy with a streak of hyperactivity. Stuff is bound to happen. It's as if God (or nature, if you prefer) knew that children would be accident prone, and made them extremely resilient. Please don't beat yourself up about it, for once your baby starts to walk and toddle and then run, there will be more. It's all normal, I promise.

Your story reminded me of the time my little one shut his finger up in the drawer. There were empty drawers, and he loves them, he open them up and put something in, and close them. Well, he starts screaming, and I look, and his finger is STUCK in the closed door. I had to open it (which he yelped at) to get his finger out. I held him close and nursed him.

He calmed down, and almost went to sleep. At that point, that's when I lost it, and asked my husband if it was broken, and then broke down bawling. My husband had to come over to console me, because I was much in the state that you say you were in. But his finger was not broken, he is fine, that was several months ago.

I totally understand, but please don't beat yourself up about.


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

OT holy crap, sonia, where ya been? looking everywhere for you! (no partiular reason







, just missed you.)


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

You talking to me? LOL! I been moving and was without internet access for a while...


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## Wolfcat (Jan 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mysticmomma77* 
the night before last my daughter ( 8 1/2 months) crawled off the side of the bed.








it was 1 am, i was right there next to her asleep. i ALWAYS wake up if she moves at all, but this time i didnt. as soon as i heard the thump i woke and new what happened. and i jumped over the side of the bed and grabbed her just as she was starting to scream. she is fine now...i have been watching for any signs of concussion or bruising and there is nothing.
after it happened i brought her into the living room in the light to make sure she was ok, then nursed her. while i was nursing her my entire body started tingling and i was overcome with the urge to vomit. and i cried. i was trying to stay clam while she was in my arms, but it was very hard. i kept her up for an hour to watch her and make sure she was acting normal. then when she fell asleep again, i cried alot.








how could i be such a horrible mommy to let her fall off?
i could kick myself repeatedly for this and i cant stop thinking about it, and how could it happen. i have always thought co-sleeping was great even though all my friends said i was crazy.
last night i put her in her crib, and cried again as i watched her sleeping.
i love her sleeping with me, but i dont think i can let her in my bed anymore. she just started crawling last week, she has never "rolled" out.

i am open to anything anyone has to say, even if it is how stupid i am









nak

ds has fallen off the bed three or four times. i started helping him slide off the bed feet-first, and now he does it himself (12 mo on the 6th). i think it was more scary for both of us then it was painful or damaging.


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## CrunchyParent (Mar 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Keja* 
The crib is not necessarily safer, I've had friends who've told me horror stories of their little ones climbing out of their cribs and falling on the floor. So...









Get some bed rails or put the bed lower, or put it against the wall.

Yup. DD#2 fell out of the bed (twice) while we were on vacation, however DD#1 climbed and fell out of her crib at home (and I was utterly terrified as a friend of the family lost their child that way). We co-sleep with DD#2 in between us in the bed and I have a PNP pushed up against my side with pillows up against it to add as an additional barrier. We'll just make adjustments the next time we're on vacation so that she doesn't fall out.


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## Taryn237 (Aug 20, 2006)

This happened to us while on vacation. We were sleeping in a queen and after nursing DS and I were asleep and he rolled over right off the bed.









At home we have his crib sidecarred which works wonderfully for us. Yes he could still crawl off the gap between the crib and the foot of the bed where I get on and off but we're teaching him to get down safely and he's never even noticed the opening before. Although once I heard him on the monitor (he goes to bed before we do) and when I got to him he was sitting up inches from the edge. I think I said a million little 'thank you' prayers that he hadn't fallen off.


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## ChrisR (Jun 21, 2007)

My 3 oldest have all fallen out of the bed at some point. You are not terrible. It was an accident. Our bed is pushed up against the wall now so I'm hoping that it doesn't happen to DD#3


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## mysticmomma77 (Jun 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eben'sMama* 
Our DS has fallen a few times, even with a guardrail on one side of the bed and the full-sized cosleeper on the other. It happens. He is just fine, and your DD is, too. She's at an age when you can start to teach her how to scoot backwards off the bed onto her feet.
I once heard another MDC mama say that her family had made up a rhyme to teach their DC to do this:

"Feet first, not your head;
that's the way we get down from the bed."









Cute, huh?

Forgive yourself! Also, as the PP said, you have no idea about the bumps and bruises until they start walking!







:










since i posted i have taken the bed off the frame, and also turned it longways against the wall. thanks for the cute rhyme, i have started teaching dd how to turn around and put her feet down...then she just plops down on her bum. too cute







:

thanks everybody!!!!!


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## mama sadie (Jun 1, 2007)

hugs from another mama whose babe fell out of bed, not while asleep, but while we were both wide awake and putting her jammies on. it happens, and they are tough little people. we put our bed on the floor last nite and all love it. DD is having lots of fun crawling up and down by herself and it is cooler in the Summer to be on the floor.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Mine have both done the exact same thing, at that very same age. And my bed is really quite high!

If they don't get into M.I.T, we'll know what to blame it on.









Anyway, it only took once or twice. Not that I really wanted them to learn about heights in that way, but that seemed to be how it went.


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