# Comebacks for Negative Sling Comments



## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

There's been a lot of discussion in the forum lately about strangers (and non strangers too) making rude, hurtful, ignorant and downright bizarre comments when they see us wearing our babies. While our main goal is to be close to our babies, we also set a great example and educate simply by babywearing in public. Sometimes though, we just get fed up with the comments and have a really good comeback for them. So, for entertainment and educational purposes please share your comebacks on this thread (include the comment that was made first of course). Whether they're helpful, constructive comebacks designed to educate or smart aleck, sarcastic comments designed to "help" others rethink what they just said to us, let's hear 'em!









*My most recent one was on the "Sick of Safety Concern..." thread. When two women thought my baby couldn't and wasn't breathing in the sling and started moving it away from his head and face to look (they seemed to think he was dead) asking, "Can he breath in there, Is he breathing?" I replied (while smiling politely), "Oh no, I just like to let him suffocate and die in there." It was the first sarcastic comment I ever made in response to sling comments.

Now, let's hear yours...


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## Boobiemama (Oct 2, 2002)

I look forward to hearing others comments.

When a very uninformed younger mother asked wherever did I come up with the idea of carrying my baby like that. I told her how most other cultures wear their babies in fabric of some sort.

i was trying to sound smart, but guess it didnt matter because she just told me how easy it was to carry her baby around in the carseat.







:


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## chaos_pie (Mar 6, 2003)

I had a cousin who once remarked, over a family reunion weekend, that I looked like I belonged out in the fields...which I thought was just weird (and frankly a bit classist)...

By the end of the weekend, after observing me with 7 mo Xiney in the sling, told me that he wanted one and could see how handy it would be.

I think sometimes when people make stupid comments it is out of ignorance and not knowing how to express it..instead they want to cover it up with weird humor.

-beth (who just posted here for the first time ;-)..hi pam)


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## cinnamonamon (May 2, 2003)

My favorite (after the "can he breathe in there" comment







: ) was my grandma who said I might as well not bother making another MW, as I wouldn't be able to carry him "that way" for much longer anyway??







: This was several months ago, too.

I think I muttered something about if I could carry him I could sling him, but geeezzz... This was the same conversation she said "ohhh, you don't want to do that" in response to my comment that I knew people who bfed for several years...you see -- her sister did that and her sons ended up "wierd." Although a couple of them are -- I hardly think it is to do with bfing a toddler!

So I guess I'd better make my ds walk everywhere as he IS an entire year old now, afterall. And he needs some cow's milk ASAP -- I mean I don't want to go overboard on all that bfing stuff, ya know.







:

Ahem...I think I may have strayed from the topic a bit...


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## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

Let the Snark-fest begin!! :LOL

Now mamas, don't you think we'll catch more flies with honey??


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## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

Oh and







HI BETHY!!!! mwahmwah!!!

OT: Beth and I are friends in real life... when we first met I spotted her right away... the other mama in Borders wearing a sleeping baby in a maya wrap!! Love at first sight.


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## cinnamonamon (May 2, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by pamelamama_
*Let the Snark-fest begin!! :LOL

Now mamas, don't you think we'll catch more flies with honey??







*
:LOL I'm kinda miserable with a cold right now & my dh commented that he forgot he needs to "tread lightly" when I'm not feeling well...apparently I get rather testy...


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## bc1995 (Mar 22, 2004)

Just tonight I had someone compliment me on my sling and how neat she thought it was. She turned to the lady that was with her and said 'isn't that neat?'. The lady turned to me and said 'oh, I thought you were carrying a baby doll'. I told her I thought I was a little old to be playing with dolls! :LOL


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:

_'oh, I thought you were carrying a baby doll'. I told her I thought I was a little old to be playing with dolls! :LOL [/B]_
_
_
_
:LOL What did she say to that? :LOL_


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## mom2noah (Oct 12, 2003)

WOw, I usually get only really postive comments on my slings. I get a lot of wierd looks too but nothing negative as of yet. However the one thing I hear a lot from mothers with babies a little older is "I always wanted to sling my baby but now he's too heavy". I tell them lots of people carry around their 2 or 3 or 4 (ok maybe thats pushing it) year olds around.


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## bc1995 (Mar 22, 2004)

About the playing with doll comment, the lady just looked at me for a second and then starting going on about how she would be scared she would drop him or hit his head or ..... It was a lost cause. I just tried to finish paying for my groceries without getting too upset.


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## Kristine233 (Jul 15, 2003)

I have been asked if I was carrying a beachball and kittens







: I've also been asked if Mac could breathe. I go into a long speal about babyearing and all the benefits and usually dont ease up until they are babywearin belivers. I keep babywearing information pamflets in the diaperbag or my purse for situations like these (and some bussiness cards of course







)

Mostly I get good comments about how neat it looks and how content my daughter is.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Just the other day at the store a woman said "oh my goodness aren't you afraid you'll drop her? I would never do that to my child"







: I was wearing her in the heart 2 heart.


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## pixie-n-hertwoboys (Aug 17, 2003)

Recently I got a comment that stumped me.... a man walked by while I was carrying my 11 m/o in a mei tai while he was sleeping and he said: "Now thats cheating."


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## CajunMama (Jun 24, 2003)

I wore DS to a meeting last night and one of the other women there( who has a 8week old DD) asked me " HOw many of those things to you have? " (at every meeting I have on a different sling :LOL )

I said " As many as I can get! For something I use everyday they are worth every penny "







She replied " I guess so, I hadn't thought about it









I LOVE showing off my slings. NOw I just need to get more more more :LOL :LOL


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

When we used to wear the baby in a Kelty carrier (a front carrier, like a Baby bjorn or Snuggli) we went out for ice cream. A college student nudged his buddy, all excited, and said "Did you see? There's a little baby in that backpack thing!"


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

I have had mostly positive comments, like, "that's a pretty clever contraption! Where did you get it?"







The only negative comment I can think of that I've gotten was someone saying that my daughter was too old to be carried "like that". I just looked at her like _what kind of weird planet are you from?_ and said, "no, atually, she's not."


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Oh yeah, and I have had people say that they would be concerned that their baby would fall out, I didn't take that as a criticism, though, they genuinely seemed to want to know how it could possibly work. So I just showed them how secure it is.


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## Tupelo Honey (Mar 24, 2004)

It's funny beacuse when I hip carry a toddler in the sling I always get all positive comments, but when I have a little baby cradled I have gotten more questions, although never an outright negative comment that I can remember. Once on a train one of the women working said "I wish they had things like that when my babies were little" and I said "They did. Ever seen a National Geographic?" in a friendly way. She laughed and said she never thought of that.

A customer of mine told me the other day she went in Walmart with her month-old preemie in the MW and the greeter stopped her and said "Is that a dog? You can't bring a dog in here." She said it wasn't a dog and the lady said "Well what is it then?" She was very surprised to see a baby









The only kind of negative thing is when members of the bottle-proppers-R-us school tell me I will spoil the baby. I always just say "Babies can't get too much love."


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## JohnnysGirl (Dec 22, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by MamaAllNatural_
*When two women thought my baby couldn't and wasn't breathing in the sling and started moving it away from his head and face to look (they seemed to think he was dead) asking, "Can he breath in there, Is he breathing?" I replied (while smiling politely), "Oh no, I just like to let him suffocate and die in there." It was the first sarcastic comment I ever made in response to sling comments.

Now, let's hear yours...*
I just visited this forum for the first time yesterday, and when I read this I thought to myself, 'OMG, if someone did that to me, I'd be just flabbergasted and appalled'. Then I go out today with DS in the sling, and someone stops me and says the EXACT same thing to me!!! How ironic. I used your exact comeback because I got all furious and my mind went blank and it was the only thing that I could think of!

Just wanted to share that out here in Finland, someone appreciated this thread!


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Butterflymom_
*I just visited this forum for the first time yesterday, and when I read this I thought to myself, 'OMG, if someone did that to me, I'd be just flabbergasted and appalled'. Then I go out today with DS in the sling, and someone stops me and says the EXACT same thing to me!!! How ironic. I used your exact comeback because I got all furious and my mind went blank and it was the only thing that I could think of!

Just wanted to share that out here in Finland, someone appreciated this thread!*
:LOL Thank you so much for sharing! That is exactly why I started this thread. So that mamas who are at a loss for words will have something constructive or clever to say! I'm so glad it worked for you. especially all the way in Finland! So ironic!:LOL


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## JohnnysGirl (Dec 22, 2003)

You know, I think my sarcasm (subtle as it was :LOL ) was actually lost in the translation, because he didn't blink and just continued smiling and said, 'Oh Good' without much comprehension. Maybe he didn't understand what I said at all. *sigh* It was my first negative comment ever.







I wish I wasn't such a freak with my sling....for the sake of all those babies out there who would love all the closeness that comes with babywearing.


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## RidentMama (Aug 18, 2003)

I used to get a lot of the "can she breathe in there?" questions. Never really anything but positive comments and the above, which was just made out of concern for DD.

The best comeback I ever had wasn't even a verbal one!

We were at a church convention this past fall, and I had just learned how to nurse Rachel in the sling. Well, everyone seemed to have missed seeing babies in a long time, because we got a lot of attention. Flash forward to the second day...I'm nursing Rachel in the sling and this little grandma comes up to me (I had never even met this woman before), says "Let me see the baby" (thinking that Rachel was sleeping) and PULLS THE SLING'S TAIL UP TO SEE....well, she put the tail back pretty darn quick, turned red and practically ran away, apologizing as she went. I just about busted a gut trying to keep from laughing!!! Ah...that's my favorite "comeback."


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## SMPH (Apr 25, 2003)

I had an employee at a retail store say "aren'y you afraid he's going to fall out? I'd be afraid." "No, he's only fallen out a few times and he seems to be ok."







:

OK. I didn't say that because I was a tired, new mom and all snarkiness had been left at home for some reason. But, if anyone says it again I have my comeback ready!

My friends all love it. Can't wait to have their own babes to sling!


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## tabitha (Sep 10, 2002)

i have , for sure, gotten some weird comments.. especially from the very old american women.

the meanest comment, IMO, which i get all of the time and doesnt seem so mean on the surface, is:

"Gee, i wish someone would haul me around like that!"

or several variations, including:

(addressing my son) "Well arent you just spoiled?"

"well dont we all just wish we had it so easy"

and so on.

Recently, though, as my large belly pokes our under the straps of a sling, i get the 'oncerned' looks and comments like,

"You shouldnt be carrying that boy, youll kill the new baby!", or
" Hes gotta learn sometime you wont be carrying him after the new one comes!"

grrrr.
















tabitha


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

I have never heard one single negative comment about my baby in the sling. Actually, it's always the other way around, strangers are always coming up to me and asking me about the sling or telling me how cool they think it is!


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by SMPH_
*I had an employee at a retail store say "aren'y you afraid he's going to fall out? I'd be afraid." "No, he's only fallen out a few times and he seems to be ok."







:
*
Sadly, I can vouch for this as to my own ds: once I whacked his head into the fridge while wearing him in a Maya Wrap and once he fell out of the Baby Bundler when I bent over and didn't have a good grip on him.
















Generally I get the "I wish someone would carry me around like that" or "Can I have a ride next" comments, but they usually seem to be friendly and not hostile.


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## cinnamonamon (May 2, 2003)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Quirky_
*Generally I get the "I wish someone would carry me around like that" or "Can I have a ride next" comments, but they usually seem to be friendly and not hostile.*
Okay, I have to 'fess up...I've been heard telling my ds "gee it must be difficult for you being carried around all day having your every wish attended to" when he's fussy & I'm irritated...







I s'pose it's my way of not yelling, lol -- sarcasm...that's great for a kid







:


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## punky (Jan 8, 2003)

i guess i've been lucky- i've never had a rude comment. when the babies were smaller though, we would frequently get little old ladies just outright walking over and peeking in and saying. "now what do you have in there?" :LOL i loved it!! but i do live in seattle, where one tends to see plenty of babies being worn


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## mommaof3 (Dec 11, 2001)

I was wearing my 3 year old neice (and my SIL was wearing my 2 year old) and an older lady came up to us and asked "now what is that new-fangled thing that you're holding those girls with?" and my SIL replied "it's the way that women have been holding their children since the beginning of time".


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by mommaof3_
*"it's the way that women have been holding their children since the beginning of time".*








I love that one! I also love that you and your SIL were carrying eachother's kids. How sweet and wonderful!







Thanks for sharing!


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## tabitha (Sep 10, 2002)

i wanted to add a post saying i do get positive comments, all of the time. like punky, i live in a progressive area, where a baby in any sort of sling is pretty commonplace. thats is why negative comments are so shocking to me!

the most wonderful comments *ever* was from a vey old man in chinatown. i was wearing my sleeping son in an embroidered meitai i had just purchased. We went into the little store where this man was, and he said many things in cantonese to a woman. The proceeded to try and translate what they said, and asked , in broken english:

"how much did you pay for that (meitai)?"

and i said, 'oh, about 30 dollars'

and he said, "see, you pay only $30 for your child to have a long happy life filled with love!"

whenever tristan and i frequent chinatown in the meitai, we get nothing but the most adoring looks and comments from a people whose own children have mostly abandoned the practice in our country. it is shocking to walk up and down the hills of SF, wearing and nursing my son, and to look across the street at another family with a giant plastic stroller and bottles and big diaper bags and crying babies, pushing it all up the concrete hill!


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## babybugmama (Apr 7, 2003)

Mine wasn't so negative, it was a college kid who nudged her friend and in this really wistful voice, *I wish someone would carry me around like that...* Like she didn't get enough lovin' when she was little. I just smiled at her.

Otherwise I do get the, isn't she getting too big and heavy to carry around...and I reply she gains gradually, my muscles strengthen gradually.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by tabitha_
*"see, you pay only $30 for your child to have a long happy life filled with love!"*
Awwww! You guys are getting me all mushy! These stories are so sweet!


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## DreamerMama (Feb 2, 2003)

I posted a thread a while back about being a "freak" with my hug a bub. I got some great advice and then I got a wonderful comment right after that and it changed my whole attitude.

This older hippy lady was going on about my lovely looking sling and asking about it. Then, she touches my baby and says "you are the luckiest little boy in the whole world to have a mommy that loves you so much". It seriously brought tears to my eyes.

Anyway, I try to remember that comment whenever I hear negative or wierd remarks. The one thing that cracks me up was my daughter's friend flipping out in the mall because "it scares me when you hold your baby like that, it gives me chills". She is eight and I think she thought I was going to drop him.

I have converted several moms on the hug a bub in our small southern backward town. I have one mom that is going to have another baby and wants a hug a bub. She was convinced she couldn't have another baby because the first on had reflux and she couldn't deal with a toddler and a possible reflux baby. She actually got on the website and is now talking about having another baby. I converted her because it was how I dealt with Leland's reflux.

I just love to sling. I am sad I didn't do this with my other three, just think of the things I could have gotten done!


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## Clarity (Nov 19, 2001)

An African man (I think, from his accent) in Halifax Canada told me, with a big smile, that it reminded him of when he was a kid, that everyone used them where he was from, he'd never seen one here before.

I get positive, curious, and negative comments of all sorts...mostly I just laugh at the negative. Like "if it was uncomfortable/too hot/suffocating, don't you think she'd let me know? She's quick to tell me every *other* time she's unhappy!" or "wouldn't you like napping in a hammock?"


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I have had the "can she breathe in there?" comment and...if I had the guts, my reply would be:

"Oh, no. Oxygen deprivation is an integral part of my parenting philosophy."

But, as Pam says, you catch more flies with honey, and I'm usually all about gushing to people how great babywearing is.

I've already practiced my response to anybody who makes any stupid comments about spoiling them. "Who told you that nonsense?".

If people say it nicely though, I say "I hope so" or "of course she is!", something like that.

Mostly though, I too had lots of great comments and people asking me where they could buy one.

What I'm REALLY excited about with this baby is showing people how wonderful slings can be when you have a toddler. At the playground there's always this row of baby buckets left on the bench while mamas tend to their toddlers. I'll show 'em!









one other response: "What do you think people used to do before they invented strollers?"


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

The only ones I've gotten are the "I wish I could have a ride" from men who wink







and "Can he breathe?".

Now that ds is bigger I use the Kozy Carrier because otherwise I walk lopsided.









Quote:

Mine wasn't so negative, it was a college kid who nudged her friend and in this really wistful voice, *I wish someone would carry me around like that...* Like she didn't get enough lovin' when she was little. I just smiled at her.
Yeah, it's part of the raised on bottles, in a crib, in a stroller, hurry up and grow up to be independent way of child-rearing. Somewhere I saw a quote where they were saying maybe the reason so many people freak out about NIP is because they never had their chance to BE nursed!

eta: here's the quote!

*"So what is it about this small gland of postnatal nourishment that puts a great nation in a dither? Perhaps the problem has to do with generations of men who didn't get enough nipple when it really counted." (O'Brien, 1995)*


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## gardenmommy (Nov 23, 2001)

I've never had any really negative comments, but I've had lots of ignorant ones. I think the best one was when I was walking through the airport with my 6 mo dd. She was sitting crosslegged frontwards in the Maya Wrap just as happy as a bug. An older woman approached me and asked "Isn't that uncomfortable for her? Doesn't that hurt her to sit like that?" I replied, "What do babies do when they are unhappy? They cry! Is she crying? No! She's happy and content!" The woman said, "I guess you're right. She does look pretty happy like that."

I went into Wal-Mart one day for a quick in-out trip. It ended up taking me about an hour, because so many people (lots of dads, even!) stopped me to ask me about my MW. Comments included how easy it looked to shop with a toddler and a baby, how comfortable dd looked, and how nice it was for me to have my hands free.

Mostly, I just try to point out how happy and content the baby is, and how much easier it is on me to carry the baby.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

I had a really dumb comment while wearing my 16 month old daughter in the Mei Tai at Walmart. The lady looked at me in horror and then turned to her friend and said "she's just dangling there. Why would you do that to your child!" And the other woman said "That can't be safe!" I didn't even bother commenting, just walked away. The main one I get is "That must really hurt your back!" to which I reply, "actually no it doesn't at all", and try to explain about the carrier but usually they don't care.


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## roxy (Jun 16, 2006)

my husband's 87 yo g'mother adoopted all 6 of her children, and is not totally comfortable w/the notion of people emerging from vaginas in the nude, etc.... so when she first saw my week old ds in his sling, she was worried about him being all "crumpled up" in there! i pointed out the obvious, but it took her a while to realize that's how he'd just spent the first 9(and a half)mos of his life. when he began walking at 9 mos of age, she was so relieved to see that no lasting "damage" had been done.
the other comment i get alot is "is he comfortable in there?" to which i reply "do you hear him crying?" or "he's sleeping, isn't he?"
almost forgot this gem...men ask if they get a turn to ride next. i could really use a sarcastic comeback for that one! something that hints at a lack of manhood, perhaps?


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## abigailvr (May 17, 2002)

My mom was the one always asking me if DS could breathe, and then PULLING on the edge of the sling to see him. Yikes, not comfortable for me. From strangers I mostly got positive comments or questions about where they could buy one for themselves/their pregnant friend.

I used to wear DS in the Didymos in the cross carry position most of the time, so his face was always in my cleavage. I got a lot of "lucky baby" comments with a wistful look from men. :LOL


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## spyiispy (Jul 23, 2002)

lol, Roxy......I get that too...to which I usually respond....."Hey, if you can get in it....I'll carry you." That usually gets a big laugh









I ALWAYS get the......"Boy, they didn't have those when I had kids..." comment. To which I cannot help but respond....all cultures have carried their babies with a piece of cloth in some fashion since the beginning of time....old-fashioned wisdom never goes out of style. To which, older people usually smile their agreeance.

You certainly DO catch more flies with honey.....and I'm all about catchin' flies









Lisa


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## mamaBlue (May 27, 2003)

Interesting thread... i've never had a negative comment made to me about my baby wearing. I'm often asked where I bought my sling and if it is comfortable for me to wear.


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## danaalex (Mar 19, 2003)

thi

this was an interesting read. i can't recall any truly negative comments about my slinging either of my girls. i do get a lot of comments or compliments on my slind and kozy. comments about how they wished that there was something like that around when they had kids, or does that hurt your back? or how long can you use that? mostly people want to know where they can get one. when i have either of my girls in the kozy someone always asks where i got it !!! i often feel like an odd ball, but when i look at moms with babes in strollers and the babe is screaming to get out, i suddenly feel superior because my girls are content, and hey i'm getting some exercise at the same time


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## tinyshoes (Mar 6, 2002)

Like so many mamas in this thread before me, again, no negative comments here, just the "wow! I wish they had those when I had a kid"







: comments. But usually I just get lots of props!

I got some props from a middle-aged Somali man and _his_ mother at the bank--they couldn't believe that someone was wearing a baby (Maya Wrap Sling) and asked if I'd made my sling, and that babywearing is what everyone does back home...

...and the grandmotherly woman mentioned a few times that babies are worn on backs, and so I asked her to help me put my 7 mo old on my back, and she did, and it was oh-so cool and inter-cultural and neat-o!

- - - -

The other day I was at the park w/ ds in my hug-a-bub, and an 8-year-old boy asked me "if I was going to have a baby" as in, he thought I was pregnant. I showed him baby's face and explained I already had a baby.


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

I don't think I've gotten any rude comments....

I used to nanny an infant, and I would bring a MW to use. His parents would always tell me "You can just put him in the bouncer/saucer/swing/playpen/babyGym!"







: To which I would sweetly explain that I liked holding him close, and that he liked it too. I got pretty attached to that baby for the 5 months I worked there, and I think it's cause of all the slinging!

Mostly, people just stop and ask me about the MW, where did I get it, do I like it, is it comfy, etc...


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## boycrazy (Feb 13, 2004)

I have had mostly interest and smiles. But when Garrett was about 5 wks old we went to the Renaisance Fair. He was in the Maya and the person taking tickets thought maybe I was trying to sneak a dog in.







We are a funky bunch that go to ren fairs....


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## boycrazy (Feb 13, 2004)

PS Garrett slept all day and had to be woken to nurse couse I was gonna explode! Love that sling.


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