# She totally disregarded my feelings



## ElaynesMom (May 24, 2008)

A fairly popular radio station in my area, that my parents happen to listen to, is currently having a funny video contest. About a week ago my mother told me she was going to submit a video of my 20 mo dd and I told her I would be uncomfortable with that. The video would be on the station's public website, and I don't really want pictures or videos of my dd posted online for just anyone to view/take. My mother told me I was being ridiculous as usual, but I still was very clear I didn't want the video posted. Tonight my best friend called and during our conversation he mentioned that he had seen a video of my dd on said website and it was really cute.

I'm a little upset. It's not the end of the world that the video is on the site, though I would prefer it not be, but I feel like my mother has zero respect for my feelings. She does this ALL.THE.TIME and I don't know how to address it. She constantly tells me the way I do things is ridiculous and tends to get angry at me if I let her know that she has upset me. We're supposed to go over this Thursday, but I don't even want to see her.

I don't know exactly what type of response I'm looking for really, just venting a little, though if anyone has suggestions on dealing with things like this it would be appreciated. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Kassandra


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## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

I would contact the website. Tell them that a video of your child is on their site, without your permission. They might take it down for you.

Call your Mom, keep it short.

Mom, I told you exactly how I felt about posting a video of MY child online. I feel very sad that you went ahead and did it anyway. We won't be coming over on Thursday.

I imagine that one reason your not taken seriously and she keeps doing this is because she gets away with it.


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

Yeah, and I would not let her have any more electronic videos/pics for a while. Once she can't show off her granddaughter as easily, she might decide it's worth it to respect your wishes.

It's not a huge deal, but it really is about her needing to respect you as the mom. I would have such a hard time dealing with family that I felt I couldn't trust!


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trinity6232000* 
I would contact the website. Tell them that a video of your child is on their site, without your permission. They might take it down for you.


I agree.

I would be furious. Im sorry your mom did that.


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## ElaynesMom (May 24, 2008)

Thank you for the responses. I think I'll let the video remain as it isn't the end of the world and I have a feeling it would upset my mother if I tried to have it removed, whether it's right or not. I just don't want to add to the whole thing.

I realize that part of the problem is that she gets away with doing things. It's really hard for me to stand up to people when they upset me, but I will definitely speak with her about how she makes me feel.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my post.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
Thank you for the responses. I think I'll let the video remain as it isn't the end of the world and I have a feeling it would upset my mother if I tried to have it removed, whether it's right or not. I just don't want to add to the whole thing.

*I realize that part of the problem is that she gets away with doing things. It's really hard for me to stand up to people when they upset me, but I will definitely speak with her about how she makes me feel.
*
Thanks again for taking the time to read my post.

Do you realize you contradicted yourself here - in the first half you say "I'll let it be" and in the second you say "she gets away with things". If you don't ask to have it taken down YOU have let her get away with something that bothers you a lot.

It is hard to say how you feel. It is hard to call a radio station and say "my mom sent this in without my permission". But these are good skills to practice for when your kids get older and you may need to stick up for them in a lot of situations.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Do you realize you contradicted yourself here - in the first half you say "I'll let it be" and in the second you say "she gets away with things". If you don't ask to have it taken down YOU have let her get away with something that bothers you a lot.

It is hard to say how you feel. It is hard to call a radio station and say "my mom sent this in without my permission". But these are good skills to practice for when your kids get older and you may need to stick up for them in a lot of situations.

exactly. stand up for yourself. stand up for your child.


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## Needle in the Hay (Sep 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
I think I'll let the video remain as it isn't the end of the world and I have a feeling it would upset my mother if I tried to have it removed, whether it's right or not. I just don't want to add to the whole thing.
.

You wouldn't be adding to it, you'd just be taking away what your mother did against your wishes. It's actually quite ridiculous that you don't want to upset your mother by undoing the thing she did that upset you! (I don't mean that _you_ are ridiculous, not at all, just your worry about upsetting your mother.)
Unfortunately, if you continue to see things the way you do, you can get used to having your feeings disregarded for a long time to come.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trinity6232000* 
I would contact the website. Tell them that a video of your child is on their site, without your permission. They might take it down for you.

Actually I think they legally _have_ to take it down.

Having them take it down is asserting your right as the parent and the one who makes the decision. I'd be worried that leaving it up would have her thinking "we'll she didn't do anything about it last time except get mad, so I can get away with it again."


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I have no problem with pics and videos of my kids being posted publicly, but when I entered my daughter's picture in a radio station "messy kids" contest, I *had* to sign the paperwork AS HER PARENT. Legally, only the parents were allowed to submit pictures. I can't imagine it's any different in your case -- and really, if you don't want your child in the contest, it's only right to have the video removed -- there are lots of other parents who DO want their kids in, and technically, what your mom did was cheating since she didn't have permission to submit your daughter's video.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

I can't believe that you dont' want to take it down because it might upset HER! You have got to get assertive. So many people need assertiveness training. My favorite assertiveness book is called "Your Perfect Right." Get it, read it and use it.

When I started realizing that I was becoming very uncomfortable/shakyand not sleeping, whenever I feared a confrontation, I made a decision. It's going to be me that's uncomfortable or them. I choose them because they've chosen me. If someone does something to you because you're a pushover and they know it, then they've chosen for you to have those icky feelings and they get off scott free! NO MORE. If they choose to take advantage of me, then they're going to be the one that's uncomfortable when I call them on it. Then, amazingly, I stop thinking about it. It doesn't run around in my mind when I sleep, it doesn't give me icky feelings in my stomache, it just goes away and often, I forget about it. What they did with those icky feelings that I gave back to them, I don't know, but for me, it's gone. Knowing that those icky feelings will disappear when I assert myself makes me want to assert myself everytime. Who wants to keep that stuff inside? Not me.

Stand up to her, call the station and have it removed, assert yourself. You have that right!!! She should be the one with these uncomfortable feelings, give them back to her.


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

I agree, you need to have the video taken down.

As Dr. Phil







says, "You teach people how to treat you!"

Sweetie, you are teaching your mother that no matter what you say, she can do whatever she wants and you will go along with it just so you won't upset her.

Don't pass this legacy down to your dd.


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## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

I completely understand how you feel, Kassandra









I have similar issues with my mom disreguarding my wishes and feelings, which has caused a lot of issues for me (not as much for her, cause I back down more often than not














.

So, I don't have much advise on how to approach your mother directly and assertively but I can say that I would not leave the video up. IMO, you have every right as a parent to keep images of your child off the internet (not that I'm against movies- we have a few







). Your daughter also has the right to be protected, especially if the video is of anything _sensitive_ (things that she won't want floating around later).

I wouldn't be going on Thursday either.. I would probably write a short email explaining that you took the movie down, you are very uncomfortable with the idea of her going behind your back and that you will not be coming over. I'd keep it short n sweet, if possible.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

I'm with the other posters. Right now you are responsible for your mother taking advantage, because you are allowing it. Take an assertiveness class. Life is not a choice between being walked all over and abused or being a totally inflexible witch. There is a lot of grey area in between.

More importantly is the lessons you are teaching your DD. You are showing her how you allow other people to treat you and how you think SHE ought to be treated. Kids are smart, they pick up on all this. You are not going to magically become a different person and be able to stand up for your DD when she is 2 or 4 or 6... How will you help her and support her, when she needs your help and support?


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

I would be furious too, mama. What she did was absolutely unacceptable.

And at the risk of beating a dead horse, I agree with the others that you have to start asserting yourself with your mom. And actually, this would be a pretty nonconfrontative way of doing so. Call the station, have the video taken down, then let your mom know what you've done (either in a separate conversation or drop it into a conversation casually). You will have stood up for yourself simply by stating the facts. "I was clear in that I did not want DD's video on the internet, so I called the station to have it taken down." What's there to argue? You're just stating a fact and not needing anything from your mom.


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## SmoothieMom (Feb 12, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
my mother told me she was going to submit a video of my 20 mo dd and I told her I would be uncomfortable with that.

I guess saying you are uncomfortable is not enough, next time forbid it, make yourself really clear.


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

Hugs mama! I understand what you mean about wanting to say something but then not wanting to hurt your mom's feelings. I have the same hangups with my mom. I was strictly taught that you do not say the word "no" to your parents. And now, I am painfully unlearning these lessons. My heart hurts for you mama, that your wishes were so calously tossed aside like this. It may not be easy, but you HAVE to step up and have that talk with your mother. And having the video removed is the first step. I wish you strength!







:


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Yes, I too don't want to beat a dead horse, but I really think it is important that you consider that your mother is being allowed to walk all over you by your response. She'll keep doing it until you are willing to say no (and willing *even though* it WILL hurt her feelings).

_*Anytime*_ you choose to say no, it is going to hurt her feelings. Putting it off isn't going to change that. It's just a question of how long do you want her to continue using you as her doormat.

For me, the line is _*really*_ crossed when it comes to my kids. Once my kids are involved in some effort to walk on me, I *have* to put my foot down.

And I would like to reiterate that you have a right to demand the radio station take the video down from their website. She is a minor, and they did not have your parental consent. (Believe me, I've been there.)


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## ElaynesMom (May 24, 2008)

Thank you everyone for the additional replies. You have really given me a lot to think about and I realize I need to make some changes. I have called my mom and told her that we won't be coming over this evening and I briefly explained why. I'm still considering whether or not to remove the video. It was difficult, and she was a bit upset, but then again, so am I.

It's a difficult spot sometimes as I feel I only have two options. It seems as though my first option is to let her walk all over me, and the second option is to stand up for myself but have her constantly upset with me and not speaking to me. A lot of times it seems like a lose-lose situation. I do know that things can't continue like this though, so I will try and stand up for myself more often.

Thanks again.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

There is always the possibility that she will get tired of being upset with you and come to the realization that there are certain things she has to respect you on.

As much as it may seem a fairy tale, sometimes an old dog will learn new tricks.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
exactly. stand up for yourself. stand up for your child.

I agree. You need to grow a backbone NOW!


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
It was difficult, and she was a bit upset, but then again, so am I.

It's a difficult spot sometimes as I feel I only have two options. It seems as though my first option is to let her walk all over me, and the second option is to stand up for myself but have her constantly upset with me and not speaking to me. A lot of times it seems like a lose-lose situation. I do know that things can't continue like this though, so I will try and stand up for myself more often.

*If she is upset, it is her choice.* It is not your responsibility to make her happy. She chose to ignore you.

It's her choice to be upset, if she refuses to listen to you and walk over you, or try to. If she doesn't like being upset, she can choose to listen to you, to your feelings and recognize you _as a person_, not just her child.

Setting boundaries is hard, but necessary.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Ditto what Maggirayne said.

You can not control how other people act, you can only control how you react to other people.

Incidentally, my mother is very childish and used to react to me the same way your's is reacting to you. I started saying things like, "Until you can speak to me respectfully, I am going to have to get off the phone. Good bye." and then I would hang up on her when she was throwing an adult sized fit over me being "ridiculous". A few hang ups later and she rarely has a cross word for me.

It can work.


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## ~pi (May 4, 2005)

BTDT with the guilt trips from mom. This was my mantra as I was learning how to establish boundaries in a clear, 'this is not up for discussion' way:

"I am not responsible for my mother's happiness."

Contact the radio station. Seriously. It won't be a big deal to have them take it down, and if your mom is smart, it won't take very many instances of clearly showing her where the line is before she learns not to cross it.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

the thing that works for me to stand up for myself is when i think that my son will learn how to interact with people from seeing me.

it is really uncomfortable for me to stand up for myself but when i imagine him learning that it's NOT OKAY for him to stand up for himself i find the courage.

i think, as an experiment, you may want to try having them take down the video. see how it feels to say, "i said no to that, and i mean it." rather than, "i said no but i guess it's not a big deal if you do something i don't want you to."

which you prefer your daughter to say in a situation where someone tried to do something she didn't want to do?


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## Barefoot~Baker (Dec 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
I have called my mom and told her that we won't be coming over this evening and I briefly explained why. I'm still considering whether or not to remove the video. It was difficult, and she was a bit upset, but then again, so am I.

It's a difficult spot sometimes as I feel I only have two options. It seems as though my first option is to let her walk all over me, and the second option is to stand up for myself but have her constantly upset with me and not speaking to me. A lot of times it seems like a lose-lose situation. I do know that things can't continue like this though, so I will try and stand up for myself more often.

Thanks again.

Hi there I know how difficult confrontations can be







I had read all of these posts a couple of days ago, and I didn't say anything because everyone had already said what I was thinking, but I just wanted to commend you on taking action. That is WONDERFUL news.

I think things will get easier, at some point your mom will probably know that you mean what you say and actually start listening to you. That's only if you keep standing up for yourself, which may be unnerving for you at first, but it will get easier, and then hopefully she will change anyway!

You did the right thing, no doubt. Try not to worry about your mom being upset and remember that you have feelings too, and you have a right to be respected.


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## perstephone (May 24, 2005)

I don't have anything to add about the way you handle this situation, but wanted to reiterate the consent issue.

Anytime anyone wants to use the image (be it still, as in a photograph, or video) of a minor child, a consent has to be signed by the child's legal guardian. If it wasn't signed by someone who has the authority to give consent it is no longer a legal model release form.
I'd personally be reading the consent form and seeing what kind of permissions were allowed. Usually once you submit something like that it becomes the property of the contest-holder.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

I'm reading Dance of Anger right now, and this part made me think of your situation. I will come back with the quote, can't find the book atm.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

I'm a super nice lady...really! Loving, kind, respectful.....until you step on my rights as a parent...then, I become a nightmare individual. I'm sorry, but I think in our culture there has been a shift in values and parental control and a parents right to make decisions about/for their kids/family is being edged out. This drives me insane. Never more, than when it comes from within the extended family.

This is your baby.....YOU are the gate keeper. Anybody wants to see her, tough her, talk to her, video her....they go through YOU. You own the copyright. However you want to think of it....you grew this precious human from a speck, in your own body and delivered her out of your body into your arms, where you are bound to keep her and guide her until she is big enough to hold herself in this world.

The video is not the point. The point is, this woman does not think that you are the gate keeper in this childs life. She does not beleive that she has to respect your wishes regarding this child and you need to SHUT THAT DOWN....YESTERDAY. Honestly.

Now, it's putting the video up after you said you didn't want it. What is it five years from now?? "Well, I know your mommy doesn't let you go swimming in the river, but GRAMMY will!!" - or how about 15 years from now?? "In my day, you didn't need a license to practice driving....here are the keys, let's go for a spin, but don't tell your mom!!" - yeah, I don't know if any of these are a good fit...but the IDEA is. She undermines your authority. Today it's not a big deal....but that's because she is a baby. When she's not a baby anymore...things become bigger deals. Today it's about a video.....five years from now, will it be about safety??

YOU are this childs mother....you should have all te rights, respects and considerations that come with being the life guide for this human being. You need to start acting like a gate keeper....







I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I have a toxic mother, and this is one of the issues involved in the struggle with her. Al I can say is...the universe is good, I have married into the family I wish I always had...so, it evens out and the respect I get from my DHs family (which I totally consider my family...my MIL and I are so close, thank goodness for her) feels so good. YOU deserve that respect too!


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## teale (Feb 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maggirayne* 
*If she is upset, it is her choice.* It is not your responsibility to make her happy. She chose to ignore you.

It's her choice to be upset, if she refuses to listen to you and walk over you, or try to. If she doesn't like being upset, she can choose to listen to you, to your feelings and recognize you _as a person_, not just her child.

Setting boundaries is hard, but necessary.

This!

I have battled with confrontation with family members since the day (and some before) DS was born. It's tough to tell your parents to stop, or tell them to sit down and respect your decision. Sometimes, it can feel like you are parenting THEM.

With all due respect, she overstepped your boundaries drastically. You asked her nicely, calmly, respectfully, NOT to post the video. When she went ahead and did it, despite your request, that was a big deal. It is a BIG deal when someone disregards your boundaries.

Your mom will be upset, and as blunt as this sounds, she'll get over it, or she won't. It's not your issue; don't you worry about how she chooses to deal with being told to step down and respect boundaries. You are DD's parent, and you get the final word. End of story- your mother doesn't have to like it, but she does have to respect it.

DH and I had an issue with his parents dropping by our house at random, inappropriate times. We tried to tell them nicely, we tried to tell then subtly, that it needed to stop, but it got worse. Finally, I told DH he needed to sit down with them, face to face, and just lay it out there. He did, and his mom was ticked off, she didn't talk to us for a month. But, she got over it, and we have yet to see them show up on our doorstep unannounced yet.

Sometimes it takes a bit of hard work to get the result you want. Good luck!


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## isign (Jan 17, 2008)

I just dealt with a similar issue with my SIL. She posted pictures of my kids on Facebook and myspace, and refused to take them down because she didn't see the harm. I contacted both of the sites and was told that since I did not own the copyright, there was nothing I could do. It seemed trivial, but I am my children's mother, their advocate, mama bear. People should respect our rights as parents. We went round several times, and still have not 100% succeded in getting them removed on one of those sites. To most it seems trivial, but if the respect is not there for this seemingly small issue, what about the bigger issues?


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

My MIL gets VERY few pictures of Cecilia anymore.. why? Because one Holiday season she decided to use a basically naked picture of my DD then around 3 as a background photo for her Christmas cards shes sent out the EVERYONE she knew. My DD was a toddler she was in the strip off ever bit of clothes stage and I did't mind sharing some alost naked pictures with family but we never gave permission for her to send it to every person. When we told her how upset we were and that we didn't want that happening again (**** we were ready to forgive) she laughed and told us we were way too parnoid and shes would show HER granddaughter off as SHE saw fit...
needless to say she gets few pictures of C anymore dressed or not.

Deanna


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## notjustmamie (Mar 7, 2007)

As long as you are bending to her will, your mother has NO REASON to change her behavior. She gets whatever she wants because you are afraid to upset her. What exactly are you getting out of this relationship? She is not supportive of your parenting decisions. If she disagrees with you, she simply overrides your choices anyway. Either you tell her in no uncertain terms what you expect from her (i.e., that she respect you and treat you like an adult), then back it up when she tries to manipulate you again, or else you will be her doormat as long as you continue the relationship.

People will not change if they have what they want. You need to give her a reason to change. She will be upset. Those are HER feelings and no reflection on you. She will try to blame you, but you need to choose not to accept it.

I wish you luck.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Back with the quote:

"If Barbara gives up her fastasy that she can change her husband ans starts using the same anger energy to clarify her choices and take new actions on her own behalf, she will be less troubled by the 'anger problems' that spring from her de-selfed or underfunctioning position: headaches, low self-esteem, anc chronic bitterness and dissatisfaction, (snip). The price she will pay is that her marriage at least for a while will likely be rougher than ever. Underlying issues may surface."

These questions are very empowering:
*"What will happen in this relationship if I become stronger and more assertive?"
"If my choice is either to sacrifice myself to keep this relationship calm, or to grow and risk losing the relationship, which do I want?"*
The Dance of Anger, Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph D.








It is hard. Setting boundaries is much easier said that done.
I am reading this book dealing with boundary and anger issues with my mom.


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## teale (Feb 20, 2009)

Quote:

"What will happen in this relationship if I become stronger and more assertive?"
"If my choice is either to sacrifice myself to keep this relationship calm, or to grow and risk losing the relationship, which do I want?"
Sort of swaying from the OP's discussion, but those are profound and amazing questions to be asking. Thank you so much for posting that. I think every so often we need a reminder that we are our own protector!


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## katmann (Oct 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
There is always the possibility that she will get tired of being upset with you and come to the realization that there are certain things she has to respect you on.

As much as it may seem a fairy tale, sometimes an old dog will learn new tricks.









Yes! I think it stands to reason that the more you stick up for yourself, the less she'll walk all over you. It won't always be this bad, it will just be hard the first few times.

And btw, where is dh in all this? Make sure he's sticking up for you too, and not trying to appease his mom.


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *trinity6232000* 
I would contact the website. Tell them that a video of your child is on their site, without your permission. They might take it down for you.

Call your Mom, keep it short.

Mom, I told you exactly how I felt about posting a video of MY child online. I feel very sad that you went ahead and did it anyway. We won't be coming over on Thursday.

I imagine that one reason your not taken seriously and she keeps doing this is because she gets away with it.

Great response and my thoughts exactly!


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *isign* 
I just dealt with a similar issue with my SIL. *She posted pictures of my kids on Facebook and myspace, and refused to take them down because she didn't see the harm.* I contacted both of the sites and was told that since I did not own the copyright, there was nothing I could do. It seemed trivial, but I am my children's mother, their advocate, mama bear. People should respect our rights as parents. We went round several times, and still have not 100% succeded in getting them removed on one of those sites. To most it seems trivial, but if the respect is not there for this seemingly small issue, what about the bigger issues?


I find this very disrespectful which is why I've stopped emailing photos to certain people. Whether or not someone thinks it's trivial, you are the mama and the parents wishes should be respected. It kills me that people are so resistant to follow what a parent wants. It's like they are screaming, "how dare you think differently than I do." So inappropriate.

My mother recently forwarded some photos of DD to people I have no relationship with for a good reason. I've asked her in the past to not forward pics I send her to said people. This time she got "caught" because the person emailed me to tell me how adorable my child is and how they can't wait to see her. I emailed my mom and told her that when I send her photos they are for her and no one else. She never said anything about the email and I don't email her photos anymore.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teale* 
Sort of swaying from the OP's discussion, but those are profound and amazing questions to be asking. Thank you so much for posting that. I think every so often we need a reminder that we are our own protector!

I second thanks. I printed the questions for future consideration.


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## Daniel's Kitty (Nov 18, 2006)

My MIL linked my snapfish account to her's so she could have access to it, I quit using it since she was giving everybody access to it. Not that it did any good since DH let her copy every picture we have of the boys. She has a bunch of pics but she isn't good at giving copies.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

*Elayne'sMom*--how are things?

Daniel's Kitty--Yikes!

*Teale*--You're welcome. It's an amazing thing to take a step back and really evaluate.

Heh, there is a definitely an advantage to paper pictures.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ElaynesMom* 
Thank you for the responses. I think I'll let the video remain as it isn't the end of the world and I have a feeling it would upset my mother if I tried to have it removed, whether it's right or not. I just don't want to add to the whole thing.

I realize that part of the problem is that she gets away with doing things. It's really hard for me to stand up to people when they upset me, but I will definitely speak with her about how she makes me feel.

Thanks again for taking the time to read my post.

I haven't read past this post, but I have to say.. this is EXACTLY why she does stuff like that.

I have spent years tiptoeing around my mother. Not doing things I wanted to do.. or doing things I never wanted to do.... (like her being in the delievery room when DD1 was born) because it was easier than listening to her pitch a fit. I don't know how many times I have told DH he couldn't do something or not to say something because I dind't want to start a war.

Last fall.. when I stood my ground and refused to do something she wanted me to do cause I HAD to do my taxes (the last extension was 2 days away.) she threw a screaming fit and screamed in my face. I demanded an apology and we haven't spoken in 6 months. She has missed the three youngest kids birthdays.. all major holidays.. my birthday.. her birthday, my son talking, learning his alphabet my daughter learning to ride her bike.. all because she a stubborn UAV and couldn't get her way. Fine we are better off without her. Stand your ground no matter the consequences.... otherwise she will keep walking all over you and you will resent her more and more.


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