# Should I discourage "navel probing" in my 16-month old?



## beccaboo (Nov 30, 2001)

I'm talking about my navel, not his... He's free to probe his own navel anytime!









A little background: when he was a small nursing infant, he would often try to stick his "free" fingers in his mouth, or pinch the skin around my nipple. I just gently discouraged this by moving his hand away, and giving his something else to hold. Then, for quite a while, he switched to fondling his ear while nursing. Great! But now, his hand has wandered over to my belly button, and while it doesn't bother me (yet?), I'm wondering if it would be better to "nip it in the bud" before he is too attached. He just sort of sticks his finger in and leaves it there; if he starts poking or pinching I'll move his hand away and say "gentle" or "that hurts mommy."

Advice? I'm just thinking of posts I've read from mamas of older children who are fond of poking/pinching/twiddling while nursing and thinking maybe this is not a "lovey" I should encourage. Thanks!


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## UlrikeDG (Sep 4, 2002)

My son was about 18 months old or so when he "discovered" my belly button. I was pregnant at the time with #2, and I was amazed that it did not bother me. He was able to do the belly button thing until I got pregnant with #3. It started to get irritating then, but he was over 4 years old, and I was able to stop the behavior easily then.

So, it worked ok here to let my DS do it. That doesn't mean it will work for you, but I thought I'd share my experience.


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## Brookesmom (Oct 12, 2002)

How funny- I was wondering if this was unusual... my DD has been doing this since she was about 6 months old, especially when we are side lying nursing at night. It doesn't bother me unless she gets really agressive with it.









The alternative is that she was playing with her ear but she would dig in their with her sharp little nails and draw blood.


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## maddysmommy (Mar 27, 2002)

I think I would prefer that Mada tweaked my belly button than my other nipple! It occurred to me though that nursing may have been where I developed my own obsession with belly buttons - I was ebf'd myself. I'll have to ask my mom


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## mamallama (Nov 22, 2001)

My two year old tries to stick her finger in my belly button every time she gets a chance. It _really_ irritates me! I won't let her do it while she nurses. If she persists in trying, I put her down. I feel like that's a fine limit to set at her age.

It's my body, and if I don't want her finger in my belly button, she has to respect that. I want her to understand fully, completely, and at an early age that everyone has the right to say what happens to their own bodies.

The other thing I want to say is, I just don't believe in the whole "nip it in the bud" argument. If belly button exploration bugs you, set an appropriate limit. If it doesn't now, don't worry about it. If it begins to bug you in the future, encourage a new nursing pasttime, change the routine, and be firm about the new limit. I have found that my kids are very receptive to a change in what is acceptable behaviour, as long as I am kind and consistent.

Maybe other moms feel differently about the "nip it" approach....


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## beccaboo (Nov 30, 2001)

Thanks for your replies, everyone! I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to this thread until now. It's nice to hear that others have experienced this issue before! It's funny that some kids just seem to *need* to do something with their free hand while nursing.

Mamallama, what you say makes sense. Since it doesn't actually bother me, I'm not going to worry about it for now. It seems like he's only gotten more attached to the navel in question (







) since I first posted - these days when I lift my shirt he first gives me a big smile, then sticks his finger in my belly button, and only after that proceeds to nurse. Ah, the joys of nursing a toddler...


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## mom2amelia (Sep 17, 2002)

I thought I was the only one!

My 2 yo dd is obsessed with my belly button. She will stop nursing and scream when I try and remove her finger probe. It usually isn't too bad, except when her fingernails are too long, or she is really pushing hard. She's even managed to make little cuts in there (I have a deep innie). I wish it wasn't as big a deal to her.

She also likes her own belly button, but not quite to the same extent. It is almost like her security blanket. When she was a year or so old, and close to sleep but restless, I could gently touch her navel and she would calm down immediately. Her breathing would slow, and she would move her hand from my navel to hers. She will now move her hand from mine to hers when she is just about asleep.

She has to sleep in jammies were her belly button is accessable (no 1 piece with zippers)- and most of her daytime clothes have to be that way too. She'll instinctivly go for it when she is nervous. I figure it is better then having to track down a binki or a blanket all the time!








:

When it starts to get the best of me, I just remember why we have belly buttons, and how increadible it is that she senses that- the part in us that was connected to our mothers and nourished us before birth!


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## beccaboo (Nov 30, 2001)

Aw, Liz, that's such a beautiful thought.







I'll keep that in mind. My bb is deeper than it used to be, thanks to how things in my abdominal area settled after two pregancies. And hey, Miles and Amelia are almost exactly a year apart! - he was born on 4/12/02.

Also, completely







T , I meant to ask Ulrike if you post/posted on the parentsplace carseat board. If so, I've always found you very helpful over there!







If not, just ignore this comment... :ignore


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