# Any luck with crying-in-arms approach?



## my daughter's mom (Jul 25, 2007)

My 6-month-old dd has developed some very difficult sleep patterns that involve waking up every 15 min to 2 hours all night long and wanting to suckle for comfort until she falls asleep. I know sometimes she is legitimately hungry, which I am all for feeding at those times, however it is the rest of the "nursing" that I want to curb.

For the last week or so, I psych myself up for CIA unless she is really hungry, but when the wakings start I am so tired that I rarely stick to it. I'm wondering, have any of you had success with CIA? I would be more inclined to stick to it if I knew there were others for whom it worked.

I am not interested in a CIO, have been using the NCSS for one month with minor success, and feel I need to do something as it is beginning to wear on me.

Suggestions? Successes? Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

IMO at 6 mo old it is not appropriate to attempt to curb nursing in any way. I do not see how crying in arms while withholding the breast is any better than CIO.

I would look first to possible causes of waking- could it be reflux? Could it be a food sensitivity? Could it be teething?

good luck!

-Angela


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## MelKnee (Dec 5, 2001)

I don't see CIA as a technique to use. I see CIA as "I have tried everything and I cannot figure out what my child needs, so I will hold them and let them know I am here" kind of thing.


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## Subliime (Mar 24, 2007)

IME 6 mo has been the hardest for sleep so far. My dd is only 8.5 mo but in her short little life and my limited experience it does get better for a while. We have done sort of a similar technique at times when I know dd is not hungry. Sometimes she goes to sleep in a couple of mins without nursing but if it takes longer than that I just nurse her. It's too much like CIO for me and that doesn't feel right.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

At this age (and beyond) I would really suggest nursing on demand... even if you may not think babe is hungry, -- babe is wanting comfort and if the breast provides comfort, I would offer it.

Do you cosleep? If not, I would highly suggest both cosleeping and mastering the side-lying nursing position -- you will barely wake up (if at all) when you babe wants to suckle/nurse.

Please remember your babe has not even been in the outside world as long as she has spent in the safety and warmth of your womb, hearing your heartbeat at all times, getting nourishment on demand. She is too young for any sleep *training* methods, no matter how gentle they may be.

Also, remember your own self care. I am assuming this is your first babe -- so you have no other babes to tend to which is great at this point in terms of it being easier to find time for your own self care.

It will pass -- is she teething? Making developmental strides? Could she be sensitive to something coming through your breast milk (allergy wise)? I would start a food diary and see if she is responding differently based on what you are eating -- for instance if you have a dairy *heavy* day and she has a particularly rough night, she could be allergic to dairy.

I don't believe CIA is the best approach to use ever really, but especially if you know what will meet your child's needs -- and you do... nursing....

At this age too, (the whole infant stage basically







) there are bursts of almost constant nursing -- growth spurts, for comfort, to help heal themselves from a virus or bacterial infection that you may not even see any symptoms of (they are common, mostly harmless, and there are properties in breastmilk that fight them).

Hang in there and give your babe what she needs -- I know it is wearing you out, but you are having conflicting feelings for a reason. Your instincts are telling you (imo) that CIA is not the answer.

Take care.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelKnee* 
I don't see CIA as a technique to use. I see CIA as "I have tried everything and I cannot figure out what my child needs, so I will hold them and let them know I am here" kind of thing.









:

Great way to put it.

-Angela


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## my daughter's mom (Jul 25, 2007)

Yeah, it is hard when I am so tired and there is so much information, usually of the CIO variety, available from friends, etc., which I am not willing to do.

I have also tried doing the rocking / patting / singing on my shoulder approach when she first wakes, but when it doesn't work and she starts to CRY - not whimper but CRY - I just can't do that to her. She is normally such a happy, peaceful little girl that I "give in" (some would say) cuz if she is this unhappy and wanting, then obviously she knows better than I what is needed.

I didn't consider the fact that she could be fending off illness by feeding, etc. And yes, I believe she is teething and has been for a couple of months, which is when all of this started. Prior, she would only wake up 2 to 3 times a night.

I was really, really, really tired from her wakings, but I was managing alright until the pressure from others started that I needed to hurry up and fix it NOW...or else. And it has made me feel worse and more crazy since I started focusing on getting her to be able to fall back to sleep "on her own."

And I do have the mentality that she is only 6 months old for crying out loud and of course she needs comforting and reassurance and cuddling, etc. but in the face of sleep deprivation and nobody else I know in my support system who believes that, it makes it very, very difficult to stand strong in my convictions.

Thanks for listening =)))


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## my daughter's mom (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MelKnee* 
I don't see CIA as a technique to use. I see CIA as "I have tried everything and I cannot figure out what my child needs, so I will hold them and let them know I am here" kind of thing.

Yes, you are right. That just goes to show how mushy my mind is, and how much CIO information is being given to me.


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## funkygranolamama (Aug 10, 2005)

When I have nights like that I keep a mantra running through my mind, "This is temporary, it will pass". IMO, any demand for nursing whether it seems needed or not, IS. Maybe your babe is approaching a growth spurt and is increasing demand to increase supply. Just think about when your dc is past nursing age how much you'll miss these times. I have to do that, too, to keep going sometimes.


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

Invest in an amber teething necklace. That'll really help. Trust me.


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## preggymeaggy (Jul 25, 2006)

I have a baby girl about the age of your DD (7 months old). She sleeps pretty well throughout the night, but of course wakes a few times to nurse. We cosleep for the majority of the night (she starts off in her crib from about 8-11pm). Honestly, I hardly notice the moment at which she wakes up, finds my nipple, and goes back to sleep.

Like others who've posted I'm wondering if you cosleep? I believe in living without extremes. I also believe in making the right decision for your own family, so that EVERYONE gets the most sleep possible. If you do not cosleep, give it a try. Could you really be sleeping worse?

It sounds like you have many people giving you un-asked-for advice. My advice would be to get knowledge from many sources, follow your what your body is telling you, and make a good decision for your family. Your DD will NOT sleep with you forever, and she certainly will learn to fall sleep on her own someday, but there is no need to teach her these things at 6 months of age. You seem to be asking yourself the old question of "is the nursing for hunger or comfort?", and my answer....does it really matter? As long as you are comfortable and healthy nurse your baby as much as she wants.

I would agree that she is probably nursing a lot for a particular reason. Teething seems to go on forever. It may also be an allergy. Food log is an awesome idea...for you and her. It could be a number of different things. Have you gotten your period back? A growth spurt or developmental change or fighting off an illness....all possibilities. Hang in there and be strong while you both figure it out.

I've never heard of a CIA method. I would think this would be especially hard for a nursing mother to accomplish. If she wants nursed and you are just holding her instead, then I imagine it would be very similar to CIO for her. If you insist on not nursing all the time during the night, is there someone else who could do the rocking and soothing? For example, if my DD wakes and I happen to be busy with something, sometimes my husband can get her back to sleep by rocking her, but this would never work for me.

It's become obvious to me that children are constantly in a wave of change. Our DDs will have many more restless nights while they change and grow. So, I think we can only change and grow with them. Find a way to get a good night's sleep while still comforting your baby girl.

Keep bouncing your thoughts off us and others, and then stay open minded while listening to your heart. Good luck. Sorry for the terribly long response.


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## my daughter's mom (Jul 25, 2007)

Well, we tried co-sleeping last night (we coslept until she was 2 months then moved her to a chair next to the bed cuz of her terrible reflux, which she appears to have outgrown a few weeks ago) and it was a night of bliss. =)

She ate often, but it wasn't that noticeable, and she did not stay attached to me all night like she tries to do when she is sidecar sleeping. I guess cuz she knows I am right there every time she needs me? It will take me a little while to adjust to it again, but I was surprisingly comfortable and I know she was really comfortable.

And I went from getting up at least every hour with her - which entailed a trip to the bathroom and to get water for me - to only getting up once to go the bathroom. So even though I didn't sleep terrifically, I feel much better.

I had such a sense of calm and peace as we got into bed last night that I have not had since she was a newborn and sleeping with me.

Thanks for all the input and ideas!

P.S. I purchased an amber teething necklace online and am looking forward to seeing how that works...


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## fiatslug (Jan 3, 2007)

amber teething necklaces? can someone tell me about them?


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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 

At this age too, (the whole infant stage basically







) there are bursts of almost constant nursing -- growth spurts, for comfort, to help heal themselves from a virus or bacterial infection that you may not even see any symptoms of (they are common, mostly harmless, and there are properties in breastmilk that fight them).



thanks i needed to read this today, CC


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## TonyaW (Dec 5, 2006)

What about a pacifier instead of the breast to pacify? If baby just needs to suck, I don't see anything wrong with a paci if baby accepts it. If you are cosleeping baby is still with you. My son still wakes every two hours though to actually nurse.


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