# I think this is where my story needs to go



## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I don't really want to put it up on facebook or my blog. Or other forums. This just feels like a safe place. I don't even care if anyone reads this. I just need to get it out.

I lost my baby on Sunday. I am pretty sure I was 13 weeks, though the midwife seemed unconvinced. Two days before I had started bleeding and cramping, and those two days of waiting were the worst. Sunday I stayed home from church with my youngest (age 2) and laid down. After an hour it really started getting bad, and then I felt something "release", and I just knew.







I called my mom, and I spent the next hour bleeding over a bucket in the bathtub. ds3 kept toddling in to "check on" me throughout. And this is an odd part of the story--at one point he pointed at me and said brightly "Oh! Baby!" and then toddled away. Later on, when we arrived back from the midwife office after the miscarriage was complete, he looked at me again and said "Baby. Done."







He is 2 yo and we hadn't informed him what was going on, but he seemed to know.

Anyway, dh finally got home from church with the older boys, and sat with me in the bathroom for a while, trying to help me decide what to do. I didn't want the ER, he didn't either. We both hesitated about seeing the mw, but I was bleeding sooo much. My mom urged us to at least go see the midwife, and I finally realized I really did need to go because the bleeding was pretty severe. So mom stayed with the boys and dh drove me to the mw center. By the time we were getting close I was really feeling like I was in labor. MW couldn't find my chart (even though I had two babies with them!) but she saw me anyway, and found that the baby seemed to be stuck halfway out of my cervix. And that's why the bleeding was so severe. But once the baby was all the way out, I had instant relief and the bleeding slowed way down. We were able to see a complete, tiny little sac, tiny little umbilical cord, and tiny little placenta.







And then it was done.

Dh was so great that day. I can't say enough about how wonderful he was, in his own quirky way.







He cleaned up the awful bloody mess in the bathroom, twice. He kept me talking on the way to and from the mw center, trying to distract me. And sugar-hater that he is, he paid $2+ for two cokes from McD's for me because that's what sounded good to me after it was over.







He held me when I needed it and let me cry even though that disturbs him. He made sure I got the rest I needed after losing all that blood. But for him emotionally it was done when he saw the baby. He's so completely rational and stoic it drives me crazy sometimes.


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## thatblondegirl (Jan 16, 2008)

omg. i'm so sorry.


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

I am so sorry. But I am glad you got the support you needed. Take care of yourself.


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## SMR (Dec 21, 2004)

this is the right place. I'm so sorry.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

I am so very sorry mama


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

Oh mama, I am so sorry for your loss...


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry.


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## Seedlings (Dec 20, 2007)

I am so very sorry for your loss


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

(((Maggie))) I'm so sorry.


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## *Jade* (Mar 13, 2007)

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad your DH was so supportive. Mine was similar, they're much more comfortable when they have practical things to do.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

mama


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

huge huge empathetic hugs to you sweet Maggie. I'm SO sorry.


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## geiamama (Feb 3, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand completely how you feel.


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I'm so very sorry mama.


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

oh maggie! i've read so many of your helpful posts in other forums lately and i just never thought you would be here. i am glad you are searching for a little solace here though. i am so sorry for your loss. your dh sounds wonderful. your son is one smart boy.


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## Katica (Jan 13, 2008)

I`m so sorry for your loss.








This is a club nobody wants to belong to but it sure helps to know we are not alone..


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## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

I'm so sorry you lost your baby,







your husband sounds wonderful though!


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