# What did you do with embryo?



## Kaja77 (Jul 9, 2007)

I had a natural m/c on Thursday, at 8+1 weeks.

It happened just as I got up in the morning, and I had a pad on from the night before (I had been spotting for a few days, and we knew it was coming). Everything came out, and it was no question what had happened (I don't know much about miscarriages, maybe this is how it usually happens?)

My first reaction was to wrap the pad up in toilet-paper and throw it in the trash (like I would if I was having my period). Right away I picked it up, knowing I couldn't throw my baby in the trash...







. I asked my husband to come to the bathroom and told him and he felt the same way as me.

So my question is; What did you do with the embryo? I hope I am not completely weird for asking this question. I read once that a mom in my local API group buried her embryo.


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## sarahtar (Mar 19, 2004)

We put the embroyo from our first m/c into the freezer and will bury it this summer along with some things we have from our second m/c. I didn't know what else to do with it. I couldn't flush it, or throw it away. Immediate burial was not an option, since it was winter and the ground was frozen.


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## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I am sorry about the loss of your baby. I think that a burial would be the proper thing to do. It must be so hard to have to even think about this... hugs to you!


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## honeybunmom (Jan 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarahtar* 
We put the embroyo from our first m/c into the freezer and will bury it this summer along with some things we have from our second m/c. I didn't know what else to do with it. I couldn't flush it, or throw it away. Immediate burial was not an option, since it was winter and the ground was frozen.

This is what I did as well, about 2 weeks ago. We live in a condo and will be moving to our home this summer. We'll bury our embryo in the yard there.


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## catballou24 (Mar 18, 2003)

we buried our babe under an esperanza bush we bought for her...i was afraid others would think it wierd too, but i couldn't stand the thought that the baby would be flushed into our septic or put out with the trash...







you are not strange at all and i'm so sorry you had to go through this...


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## MamaHen2J&J (May 23, 2007)

I don't think its a strange question...I think you should do whatever feels right.


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## 3Duckies (May 19, 2008)

A friend of mine buried her embryo on her land in a special spot.


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## moonglowmama (Jan 23, 2002)

I buried my baby that died at 12 weeks gestation in our backyard, under the pear tree that holds my son's placenta. My pastors and some family came over and we had a service for her. We named her Stella. We buried her at noon, which is when the nearby church plays their bells. Whenever I'm out back at noon and hear those bells I remember and it provides a way to talk about her with my living kids.

You should do what seems best to you. And I'm sorry for you.


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## Kaja77 (Jul 9, 2007)

Thank you for taking the time to share your stories.

I forgot to say in my original post that we too put the embryo in the freezer, since we didn't really know what to do.

Burying the embryo in our back yard is what feels most natural to me, so that is probably what we will end up doing. But, of course then I get sad about the fact that we will probably move out of this house at some point..







. It just happened last week, and I am still _very_ emotional.

I like the idea of having/planting a special bush or tree for the baby though...







.


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## PrayinFor12 (Aug 25, 2007)

Skimming over other replies, my answer is a little different, so I'll post it:

We also used the freezer for a couple of weeks while figuring out what to do. It took about a week of making phonecalls, but eventually we were able to take it to a funeral home for cremation. There was a lot of legal hassle because I hadn't yet gotten to 20 weeks. I guess by law, 20 weeks is the magic number where it's legal to cremate or bury.









My midwife and the man at the funeral home were very diligent. They did all the legal hassle stuff so that we could get this done. We had to fill out a death certificate - only official thing we'll ever put his name on. It cost some too - don't remember how much. Now there's a little urn in our bedroom and we have a paper we would need if we ever decided to bury it.


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## boysmom2 (Jan 24, 2007)

I too have 2 in my freezer. I've been waiting for good planting weather. I think I may look for a lilac - they're my favorite.








to you. I hope you can find some peace.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I put my tiny baby in a box at the bottom of a big pot and planted a willow bush in the pot. It's a slightly painful reminder to see my willow bush every day and water it and such, but at least I know my baby lives on in that bush in some small way.


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## dani76 (Mar 24, 2004)

I bought a camellia bush and buried the baby/placenta in the pot. It's potted so it can always come with us. And for me, I love seeing it bloom.


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

I have a tree in the backyard, all of my placentas are there, so it seemed right.


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## laralee16 (Nov 12, 2005)

I would also plant the baby and a plant in a portable pot. I so wish I could have done that.


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## LacieD (Feb 21, 2005)

I buried both of mine in a planter - we rent, and I wanted to make sure I could take them with us when we move.


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## Kaja77 (Jul 9, 2007)

I am so sorry I haven't been able to respond to all your replies - unfortunately, we have had both illness and death in our family since my m/c..







. This has really been a trying month for us.

But thank you SO SO much for sharing your experiences and what you chose to do with your babies when you miscarried.

I am sorry for all your losses as well....


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## PrayinFor12 (Aug 25, 2007)

Kaja77,
What a horrible lot to all come at once! Sending you a hug.
Holly


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## 2happymamas (May 11, 2005)

We did not have a baby, only the placenta. I miscarried at 13 weeks and found out that the baby quit developing around week three. DW and I planted the placenta with a pink dogwood that we bought for the occasion. We kept the placenta frozen in the freezer for six months.


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## Sophiasmomma (Jun 16, 2004)

HUGS Mama.. I just MC last friday and had a D&C 2 days ago.
My baby measured 12.5 weeks along so I had the baby cremated








I wanted the baby with me where ever we go and this was my only way to do so. Peace to you at this tough time


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Buried her at the beach.

It was actually 4 years ago yesterday.


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. I have a different answer from the other posters, but I thought I'd share anyway. I had a m/c at about 7 weeks nearly four years ago. When the embryo came out onto a piece of toilet paper I looked at it for a few minutes and then flushed it. I have felt sad about that ever since. It wasn't even a conscious decision, merely a reaction. I hadn't begun seeing a midwife yet and the emergency doc talked about "passing tissue". It was only later that I started thinking about it as my baby and I felt great remorse about not showing him or her more respect and commemorating the life, however short. It wasn't until much later that I realized that people did have burials or ceremonies to acknowledge the loss. I was pg again a few weeks later and stopped thinking about that baby as much, but I still wish that I'd done more.


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## CookieMonsterMommy (Oct 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vancouver Mommy* 
...but I still wish that I'd done more.









: Mama, a lot of moms do this and regret it...it can be such a reflexive action.

What I buried _was_ just tissue...the spirit had left (at least) 2 days prior. To be be honest, I'll admit that burying her was more for me than for her or anyone else.


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## leogirl79 (May 9, 2008)

I passed the placenta and a huge clot last week. I looked through and couldn't find the amniotic sac so I flushed those. Today I finally passed the amniotic sac, we know the baby reabsorbed because it was clear from the ultrasound. I still couldn't flush it. I put it in the freezer and when we figure out what plant we want to use I'll bury it under my big kitchen window with the plant on top. We our last baby cremated but I was much, much further along and it seemed appropriate...


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## CallMeMommy (Jun 15, 2005)

My sissy buried hers in the backyard in a little box. She put him in the freezer until she decided what to do. I came over when she buried him. She doesn't know how far along she was because it was an unexpected pregnancy and our clinic jerked her around about getting her in for her first OB appointment. By looking at pictures on the internet I'm guessing she was at least 3 months along. I've been keeping my eye out for a big rock to put over the burial site to keep the critters out, I want to paint the date on it.


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## tree-hugger (Jul 18, 2007)

We buried it at a national park bc we didn't want to pick our yard because we'll sell the house someday. That was probably illegal but at 9 weeks gestation it was tiny--we went to a spot off the beaten track and so I don't think it did any harm and nobody will ever know. It is comforting to know that s/he was buried in a beautiful place that will be beautiful forever.

Oh, and we kept it in the freezer for awhile first because we had no idea what to do until we came up with that plan.


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## Kaja77 (Jul 9, 2007)

Thank you again for all your replies. Due to illness and death in our family the last 3-4 weeks, we haven't had a chance to even think about what to do with the embryo. It is still in the freezer. I like the idea of cremation, but because I was only 8 weeks along I have to find out the legal stuff surrounding that in my state.

And, I am so sorry for all the losses that you have suffered as well...


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