# Pushing my face away while nursing



## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

I started another thread (3yo orders us not to talk) and was happy with the great ideas I got, so I figured I'd try y'all out for ideas on the other annoying thing DD does









When I nurse her, frequently (but not all the time) she will reach up her hand and push my face. It seems she basically wants me to remove my head and just be a headless mum-mum machine. Or something.

I am not:

- Breathing on her
- Pressing my head or face against her
- Talking, usually

I really don't know what she really wants, but she can be fairly aggressive about pushing my face sometimes.

I've taken to responding by asking her "Do you want Mama to go away?" and she'll shake her head no furiously. Sometimes she'll stop and sometimes she'll do it again, and usually the second time I "offer"/"threaten" to go away, she'll stop.

But does anyone have either a better idea to deal with it, or any idea what the heck is going on? I also honestly feel kind of rejected when she does this, like she doesn't really like "me" but just wants a giant boob. I know that's too much to put on a 3 year old, but just explaining why it bothers me enough to seek input.


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## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

My 2 1/2 yo nursling does the same thing. I don't get offended. I figured that sometimes she wants her privacy, or wants to be "invisible." That's what it was for her, at least. I noticed that she does this a lot in social situations (she's fairly shy) and she just wanted to disappear into the woodwork so to speak. Sometimes I actually do forget that she's in my lap nursing and I freak out thinking that I lost her...


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

My friend had a daughter who behaved like this, and she figured out her daughter just had a *real* conscious need for more personal space/control of her immediate environment. She was also overstimulated easily. Her mom was very child focused and made efforts to carefully meet her children's needs. From early on, dc has worn only dresses, no undies, no socks, and usually just rain boots. She can't handle clothes that constrict. So you can imagine car seats







Well, I believe she got to choose and she kept choosing the exact model as her older brother's, but she wouldn't use his. After much in depth conversation (as much as you can w/ a 5ish yo.) the fabric on his was staticky on her hair.
My point is that maybe some of this might sound like your dd and help you out, or I could be wrong because ya just can't put IRL people through a post









Hugs!!! I hope you can find a way to resolve this, try not to take it to heart, kids don't realize we have our _own_ world too!


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## MommaShark (Oct 23, 2007)

My DS did and does that.......I think it's just a fiddling/something to do thing. I made a nursing necklace which he loves to play with......when he puches my face and gently hold his hand ...... and tell him to be gentle or to hug me....if he doesn't stop I after I've asked I tell him if he wants milk he needs to use gentle hands.....


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## lunar forest (Feb 20, 2003)

I think this is pretty normal, in fact, I can't think of any mom I know who hasn't had this happen for a time.

I always felt with my children that they needed some privacy. No, that's not the right word, really. I think they wanted to zone out of calm down and it was too much with me looking at them. They didn't want to engage with me, they wanted to veg. I can relate to that and I respect that need.
I don't want to be treated poorly, however, so I was always very careful to ask them to ask more nicely, or say that it hurt me/my feelings when they pushed me away like that. Then I would let them have their space.
I think, sometimes, it's about having some control, too. Again, that seems only fair. I wouldn't take it personally.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

My DS does this. It took me ages to figure it out, but for him at least he does it because he wants to look at my ears. He's way into ears, and he wants me to move my head back and sideways so he can see mine.

He's a lot younger than your DD, though.

If you ask her why she does it, what does she say? I agree sometimes they just want some space, and some kids are more like that than others. My own 3 year old is a big non-cuddler who really likes her own space and her own privacy. It's easy to feel rejected when she doesn't want me to hold her even when she's upset. I try really hard to remember that she's her own person with her own needs and that she certainly does need me-- just not in the way I WANT her to all the time, ya know?

I don't know. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you, if you can help it.


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## lunar forest (Feb 20, 2003)

My 4.5yo did this last night, come to think of it. I was taken aback and gave her a surprised look and asked her what she needed. She popped off and said "I don't want you to look at me." in a whiny voice. But fair enough, really. So long as she's nice about it. I really hate being ordered around by little kids. I don't think she was trying to do that, though, I think she just wanted to communicate without having to stop nursing. Is that maybe the case with your dd?


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

It really cracks me up when DD does this! Sometimes if Im looking away, she will grab my face to look at her. Other times she pushes it away. And sometimes its just a game. Dont take it personal. =)


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

She's definitely trying to get me to do something, and gets upset about it fairly quickly (making angry grunts or whatever and pushing harder) - so it's not just fiddling.

I'll try to ask her. She's very verbal but, like most kids, regresses when she's upset. (Well, come to think of it, even adults lose some verbal capacity when upset). And she gets upset about whatever it is pretty quickly









Yeah, maybe she wants space. I don't know how to really give it to her when we're nursing, though







I mean, nursing is a close and intimate activity.


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## wytchywoman (Nov 14, 2006)

I don't like being stared at while I'm eating either, LOL!
Seriously, sounds like an overstimulation problem. I am guessing at 3 yo she is probably nursing more for relaxation and decompression and comfort than she is for intimacy at this point. It's not that she doesn't want to be intimate and bonded with you, it's just that she doesn't want that while she's trying to unwind, KWIM?


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## COVegMom (Mar 9, 2008)

Ds does this too. I think for him, he is kind of bored or wants some interaction. It usually turns into a game where he pushes my face up and down and side to side and I make funny faces every time I move my head.

I don't think your Dd wants you to go away. She probably just need more stimulation (interaction) or less stimulation, like not being looked at or maybe a blanket to hide under.


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## Maggirayne (Mar 6, 2007)

Since she's so verbal, ask her at another time.









I'm really curious what her answer would be.


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## Calidris (Apr 17, 2004)

Hey! my DD does that too. I never really tried to figure it out though.

I guess, looking at this thread, it's just something they do. Maybe they wonder if our necks can elongate or something.


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