# How Messsy is Too Messy?



## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

When you go to visit someone, what level of mess are you comfortable seeing? What would cause you to think, "Okay, that's too dirty." What bothers you? What doesn't at all?

I'm assuming that no one goes to visit anyone with the intent to judge, it's not about that... but when you see a home, what causes you to feel that it's past "Comfortably Untidy?" Dishes in the sink? Dirty bathroom? Weird smell? Mantelpiece doesn't pass the white-glove dust test?









I'm asking because my house is chronically messy!!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

The things that bother me most are strong smells (litterbox, urine, cover-up sprays), unidentifiable globs (old foodstuff), piles of hair and dust behind bathroom doors, and dirty toilets.


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## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

i think the only time i've ever been grossed out at someone else's house was when the bathroom reeked of urine. i guess it takes a lot to gross me out!! lol.


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## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

ps. my house is chronically messy too!


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

I don't like *dirty*:

strong, unpleasant odors (urine, cigarettes, pets, garbage)
visible catbox
stained carpet
filthy blinds
dirty toilets
floors that need vacuuming and mopping
dirty dishes
messy kitchen, period.
messy bathroom, period.

I don't mind a *mess*:

a pile of clean clothes that need to be folded
toys spread out because they're being used
unmade beds

Will I judge? Nope. Will I be uncomfortable? Most definitely.


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## Attila the Honey (Mar 15, 2003)

Smell is what does it for me. I've been in houses that look neat and have a godawful funk, and I've been in messy houses that don't smell bad at all. I can tolerate anything but funk.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Stink is bad.
Mysterious goop is bad.
Not being able to sit down is bad.
Not being able to move to the places I need to use, place to sit down, bathroom, is bad.
Save the "if it's yellow" policy on flushing toilets for your immediate family. (As I save it for mine.)
If there are fruit flies in the kitchen, I expect there to also be little bowls of soapy apple juice. If you seem resigned to the bugs, that's a sign that I'm lucky I'm not seeing worse.
Darkness is bad. If I can't see the clutter, I'm going to be scared of the clutter. Doesn't need to be full of sunshine, but things should be easily visible.


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

Unvacuumed bothers me. Not just a few crumbs, but gross stuff everywhere.

Dirty plates and bowls in the living room.

Cat smell.

Old sippies.

That's about it.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

:

This is a really good question-- I just realized last week when cleaning up for my guests, I'm uncomfortable when things are too clean! It makes me feel anxious. I don't have that internal barometer to know what's normal.


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## Kelly Jene (Jun 8, 2008)

For me, it's got to be the smells and animal hair. I have cats so I know about how quickly cat hair gets on things.

Smells I think are just the worst though. Urine or poo smells, animals smells, etc.


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Smells, animal hair, visibly dirty toilet. Dishes/clutter make me feel right at home though


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Definitely smells.

Dirty bathrooms. I'm grossed out when I can see a visible ring in the toilet bowl. Also, I hate dirty bathroom sinks. Some water splatters are fine, but when the faucet is no longer shiny because it's covered with hard water stains and dried on soap and gunk, then I'm grossed out.

Large amounts of dirt (hair, dust in lots of big clumps) bothers me.

I don't mind a few not-too-dirty dishes in the sink, but I don't want to see the remains of last night's dinner stuck to a pile of dishes that's overflowing the sink.

I guess I grew up with the idea that you do a little cleaning up for company, and to me the bare minimum is to clean the bathroom (toilet, sink, and get the majority of the hair off the floor), make the kitchen presentable, and make the living room comfortable (maybe a quick vacuum if needed, clearing out some of the clutter). If a person can't be bothered to give their toilet a quick scrub when it's visibly dirty, then I feel uncomfortable - like either I'm not really wanted or just eww, the house is dirty.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

:


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## Serendipity (Nov 12, 2005)

It depends on if the visit is planned out ahead of time. If you know I'm coming and have known for more than a day, I'd expect no smells, and no visible old fast food stuff, or filthy dishes, or filthy toilets. I have no problem at all with clutter, like paper, clothes, toys, books etc. if I can still sit somewhere. If I drop by unexpected or you had short notice, I wouldn't mind dishes etc. in the sink. Dust doesn't bother me, and neither do un-vacuumed floors.


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## Liliana (Jan 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rainyday* 
Definitely smells.

Dirty bathrooms. I'm grossed out when I can see a visible ring in the toilet bowl. Also, I hate dirty bathroom sinks. Some water splatters are fine, but when the faucet is no longer shiny because it's covered with hard water stains and dried on soap and gunk, then I'm grossed out.

Large amounts of dirt (hair, dust in lots of big clumps) bothers me.

I don't mind a few not-too-dirty dishes in the sink, but I don't want to see the remains of last night's dinner stuck to a pile of dishes that's overflowing the sink.

I guess I grew up with the idea that you do a little cleaning up for company, and to me the bare minimum is to clean the bathroom (toilet, sink, and get the majority of the hair off the floor), make the kitchen presentable, and make the living room comfortable (maybe a quick vacuum if needed, clearing out some of the clutter). If a person can't be bothered to give their toilet a quick scrub when it's visibly dirty, then I feel uncomfortable - like either I'm not really wanted or just eww, the house is dirty.

Just have to say that my toilet is visibly dirty after I scrub it twice.

In other people's houses I notice bad smells and dirty dishes that aren't in the kitchen.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Liliana* 
Just have to say that my toilet is visibly dirty after I scrub it twice.

Try a pumice stone, they work great for hard water.

Oh, and I forgot pet hair - blech.


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## papercranegirl (Jun 27, 2006)

The three things that get me are smell,sink crud, and way past their prime sponges. If I see sink crud at your house I will clean it up. If you only have an icky sponge to clean it up with I will be back with a fresh one and some cleaning supplies.

General mess, laundry, dust bunnies, project clutter, heck even mud in the foyer don't bother me but sink crud.


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## DanelleB (Jan 4, 2008)

I agree with all these except the stained carpet. You can't go and rip out your carpet the moment the kids spills grape juice on it. You can clean it the best you can and keep it vaccumed, but it's not reasonable to consider a house "too messy" because the carpet is stained--especially when there are young children running about.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DanelleB* 
I agree with all these except the stained carpet. You can't go and rip out your carpet the moment the kids spills grape juice on it. You can clean it the best you can and keep it vaccumed, but it's not reasonable to consider a house "too messy" because the carpet is stained--especially when there are young children running about.









:
Although I suspect what was meant was carpet that's obviously stained from not picking up pet accidents quickly enough. For those, I'd want reassurance that they're very very old and from when the pet was younger. If they're truly gruesome, like you see them every day and they bother *you*, area rug.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Liliana* 
Just have to say that my toilet is visibly dirty after I scrub it twice.

We have some old stained toilets. That doesn't phase me. It's things like urine drops, dust, and hairs.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

Messy/cluttered/clean laundry in baskets is fine by me. Seeing mold, mildew, and yuck in bathrooms, fecal matter on the toilet, black stuff growing on kitchen sinks, carpets obviously not vacuumed in a month, black sticky stuff and grunge on floors, stinky dirty cat boxes that have obviously not been cleaned in a week, dirty dishes left out (dirty or clean in the sink is fine, I mean day old dirty dishes on the coffee table/end table) overflowing garbage, copious amounts of animal hair (I dont mean the normal amount seen in having dogs/cats, I mean when its obvious no vacuuming has taken place in weeks) dust you can write your name in with your finger, etc. crosses the line imo. Books/magazines or junk scattered around is fine by me. That just makes a place look lived in, not neglected.


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

OK, none of you are allowed to come to my house, EVER!!!









Not serious. But we do have pet hair on every conceivable surface, it would seem, and the dishes are almost never ALL done.

What bugs me at other places: garbage and ashtrays. I hate seeing bags of garbage left about. And people that smoke in the house.... just yuck.


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## Hannahsmummy (Oct 12, 2006)

I agree with bad smells, mold and goop on things.

I was going to say that I don't think I have been to a house that was messy enough for me to be uncomfortable but that's a lie. I remembered my MILs (who I adore BTW), her house was absolutely vile. The carpet was greasy and matted down from 10 years of never being vacuumed. Also everything was covered in a layer of greasy dust, there were decade old piles of junk everywhere and the bathroom had black mold all over it. Her landlord was going to paint and replace the carpets since it had been so long but it would've meant tidying so she didn't get it done.

She's moved now which means that it's OK for now but we are slowly building up to 10 years from now when it will be the same as the last place.

I wonder do your standards change depending on length and value of friendship?

I do find my standards slipping depending on how good a friend is. I'd have made sure that I spent a fair amount of time running around tidying if it was someone I didn't know that well. However once I feel confident in our friendship, I tend to clean less as I know they aren't concerned and are there to see us vs the state of my house. I've noticed they are the same and their houses seems to get messier the more I visit! LOL


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## wendinbill (Jun 11, 2004)

I'll admit, I've been to a couple houses that skeeve me out. One in particular-the bathroom rugs are filthy, there is way too much clutter, and there's a layer of white on everything in the bathroom! Soap grime, hair (pet & human) a gazillion bottles of shampoo, etc. And always a sopping wet hand towel. *shudder* I am super picky though, and clean all the time. I realize this isn't the norm.

My inlaws house is organized & not cluttered, but the shelves/furniture is dusty. This doesn't bother me nearly as much, if at all. There are always clean towels!


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
I don't like *dirty*:

strong, unpleasant odors (urine, cigarettes, pets, garbage)
visible catbox
stained carpet
filthy blinds
dirty toilets
floors that need vacuuming and mopping
dirty dishes
messy kitchen, period.
messy bathroom, period.

I don't mind a *mess*:

a pile of clean clothes that need to be folded
toys spread out because they're being used
unmade beds

Will I judge? Nope. Will I be uncomfortable? Most definitely.









:

I have friends whose home is very neat and organized but it is beyond filthy. I used to be their nanny so I know they NEVER clean. I ised to do most things and when they went away or when the kids were in school I would clean like crazy. I quit 4 years ago. The house has not been cleaned since then. They do not own a vacum and they have plebty of carpets. Alll of their whote socks are black on the bottom. It is quite gross and the kicker is she is a Nurse in the OR!!!


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## CameronsMama (Apr 2, 2007)

I totally don't mind things like general clutter, and pet hair doesn't bother me either unless it's been piling up for weeks or months and is taking over the house. But I get wierded out by unpleasant smells, and filthy bathrooms, kitchens and floors. I clean a lot anyway (bit of a neat freak, with a dash of OCD thrown in for good measure) but I always at least vacuum/sweep, and clean the bathroom and kitchen before I have anyone over. Dh and I used to be friends with a couple who rarely cleaned and when they did it wasn't much, everytime we'd go over the floors would be so dirty it would turn your socks/feet black (they had a no shoes in the house rule-BUT they went outside barefoot, so they tracked everything all over the house anyway!) and I was always a little scared to sit on the toilet it was so dirty. That was awful, but that's really the only house I've been in that was too dirty.


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## MiaPia (Aug 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tilia* 
Unvacuumed bothers me. Not just a few crumbs, but gross stuff everywhere.

Dirty plates and bowls in the living room.

Cat smell.

Old sippies.

That's about it.

This is basically my list too - except add dirty bathroom and dirty kitchen counters.

Clutter doesn't bother me. A few unwashed dishes (in the sink) don't bother me. A pile of unfolded laundry doesn't bother me. Filth, dirt, and smells bother me.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Re: toilets. The seats should be clean--new seats can be put in for $5 and 10 minutes work if you've got a really persistent stain, especially something like mildew discoloration. The insides? As long as things aren't floating or chunky (ewww) discoloration is fine. And I do totally get kids not flushing everytime, or missing. In a house with children, I actually anticipate needing to do a bit of wiping or flushing before going.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Also, the longer I'm going to visit, the higher my standards. A lot of stuff that I won't care about during an chatty little visit will upset me during an overnight stay. Like, obviously, the state of the guest room.

And once I have a crawling LO, I'll probably be fussier about carpets too.


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## blueeyes (Dec 23, 2006)

Having a large family myself in a small home, I don't mind typical clutter (papers, some dishes, kids toys & socks laying around) but what grosses me out is:

-dirty bathroom (don't care if there's permanent stains... as long as it's clean & isn't sticky or smelly!)
-dirty kitchen (some dirty dishes soaking are fine, we have them, but dirty counters & gunk is gross)
-severely unvacuumed rugs
-sticky unmopped floors

Basically if the kitchen is not a health threat & the bathroom doesn't look like a public restroom, & I feel safe taking off my shoes, them I'm ok







I can handle messy, just not gross!


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## CameronsMama (Apr 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blueeyes* 
Basically if the kitchen is not a health threat & the bathroom doesn't look like a public restroom, & I feel safe taking off my shoes, them I'm ok







I can handle messy, just not gross!









I think that sums it up perfectly!


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
Try a pumice stone, they work great for hard water.

I'm not interested in sticking my hand in the toilet to clean something that doesn't matter. We don't touch it and it doesn't touch us.
I try to do reuseable as much as possible but I do use throw away toilet cleaners. It makes me sick to have a reuseable toilet brush. I can't see sticking my hand in the toilet just to make it white.

But as far as things that bother me pet hair is a big one. I know its hard to keep up on but I don't like it on surfaces used for sitting, the floor I don't really care about.

Mold and mildew are nasty. We have very hard water here and the bathroom dh uses does not have good ventilation. Its a PITA keeping the mildew at bay. After he showers he sprays on a daily shower cleaner and the ventilation fan stays on for a few hours, I also put an oscillating fan in the room but the shower still needs a scrub down weekly or the minerals and mildew build up.

Flies are gross but we get them here too even when the kitchen is kept up. It seems like each summer for a few weeks the flies take over. We don't have A/C and I think they get in the cracks of the windows and doors we keep open for breeze.
Although I don't like them and they gross me out I understand.

I have pretty high tolerances for others and very low for myself. I don't have people over often









There are a lot of things that I think are gross but I understand how they happen easily. My house can become totally trashed in a day and have a lot of the issues that others mentioned quickly (dishes pilling up, stains on carpets happening, bathrooms getting messy, etc). When you have a crazy 3 yr old and a 6 yr old plus you are 8 months pregnant it happens _very_ easily!


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

Did anyone else read this thread and realize their mouth was hanging open and they were making grossed out faces?









I have been in a few houses like that. Mostly when we were looking for a rental. My god!

Question- if you had a friend who's home was **so gross** that your children (in addition to you) weren't comfortable there, would you stop visiting?


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## cam&kat's_mom (Jan 12, 2006)

WOW! never just pop in to visit my house.. i feel like there are always dirty dishes, dog hair and unclean floors. teh toilet has hard water stains that we cannot get to go away. there are no smells however... and no funky gunk hanging around...
BUT whenever we EXPECT company or i have a few extra minutes i scrub teh floors and the dog hair is almost gone and the sink is generally pretty empty..

You can ALWAYS find however :
unfolded clean laundy in a pile (sometimes more than one),unmade beds, except fo rteh baby's and DD's cause they dont' sleep in them







couch cushins on the floor (the kids are always building forts out of them or taking them of tosit on teh floor on them.. gotta get bean bags







) and toys strewn about despite havign a playroom. Also we never dust. seriously unless we rearrange somethign we dont' dust.
no mold that we are aware of..

at other peopels homes what grosses me out is :
nasty smells,(urine







) dirty water left in teh sink with stuff floating.. (i'd MUCH rather see dirty dishes than nasty old water in there) moldy food in teh fridge.. that REALLY GAGS me! (we generally dont' go in peoples fridges btu are oftne told to Help ourself ot a drink/snack for the kids etc..)I actually have one very good friend that i go over and clean her fridge for her cause we are really close and we spend a lot of time there nadshe knows it grosses me out to see the nasty old food so i jsut go and sort through for her and chuck stuff, while she cooks dinner etc. _
and the last thign is dirty clothes strewn abotu the house... not in a luandry space, but everywhere.... or dirty highchairs that obviously haven't been cleaned in a ong while....


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
I'm not interested in sticking my hand in the toilet to clean something that doesn't matter. We don't touch it and it doesn't touch us.
I try to do reuseable as much as possible but I do use throw away toilet cleaners. It makes me sick to have a reuseable toilet brush. I can't see sticking my hand in the toilet just to make it white.

You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow. I have a pair of those I break out when I have a yucky job to do. For the toilet (I had stains at the bottom of the bowl from when a rusty plumber's snake was used to clear a clog) I put on the glove, then used an empty yogurt cup to bail out all the water (poured it down the bathroom sink), then used the pumice stone to scrub the stain. Took off the glove when I was done and laid it out in the sun to dry.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Changed* 
Question- if you had a friend who's home was **so gross** that your children (in addition to you) weren't comfortable there, would you stop visiting?

Yep. I haven't been to my cousin's house in years because it is so gross. She even has Thanksgiving there, yikes. I am not eating anything made in that house, off those dishes. Just thinking about it makes me want to get a Tetanus shot









Has anyone mentioned spots on bathroom mirrors? That makes my skin crawl! Like, gunk from floss, toothpaste, makeup. Eeeew.

*wednesday* - I'm with you on that one







Of course, I am a crazy cleaner. Cotton swabs, toothpicks, anything to get every last speck. I'm nuts.

Oh, and as a pp said, blackened white socks. My best friend (not the best cleaner) said something about how annoyed she is that the bottom of their white socks turn black. I felt bad saying I had NO idea what she was talking about, mine are white. She also mentioned the 'pink gunk' she gets in her tub and sink. To this day, I'm still not sure what she was referring to. I'm actually kind of afraid.


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## CameronsMama (Apr 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
She also mentioned the 'pink gunk' she gets in her tub and sink. To this day, I'm still not sure what she was referring to. I'm actually kind of afraid.











I'm not sure why, but that cracks me up! I think the pink stuff is some kind of soap-scummy mildew, but I'm not sure either.


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

Spots on mirrors don't bother me. Heck, I doubt I'd even notice them unless the bathroom was just plain disgusting.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wednesday* 
You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow. I have a pair of those I break out when I have a yucky job to do. For the toilet (I had stains at the bottom of the bowl from when a rusty plumber's snake was used to clear a clog) I put on the glove, then used an empty yogurt cup to bail out all the water (poured it down the bathroom sink), then used the pumice stone to scrub the stain. Took off the glove when I was done and laid it out in the sun to dry.

They sell pumice stones on sticks. Just attach a longer stick to one of those.

Also, turn off the water to your toilet and flush. Empty! No bailing.


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

What a lot of great answers!! I kind of thought this would be a thread that I killed before I started it!









One of the reasons I ask is because... well, first of all,several of my friends insist that they have messy homes, but that because we all run around cleaning before someone comes over, and avoid unexpected guests at all times, we don't realize that we're judging ourselves way more harshly than anyone else would. And that maybe, just maybe, it's okay to let your friends see some of your mess. So I do wonder what is "acceptable" mess and what is not.

Second, because if someone is going to visit with 30 minutes or less notice, we run into a triage situation







:, where you have to quickly assess and decide what to clean and how well to clean it. And I just wondered if other people's ideas about what shouldn't be there were the same, or if maybe I was worrying too much about, say, vacuuming when the dishes in the sink were more generally considered to be skeevy.

For me, if someone's coming over I try to make sure the bathroom is clean and the kitchen counters (I will leave dishes in the sink if we're short on time.) The level of clean that I try to get things is sort of based on the closeness of the relationship - there's a base level of clean that I need for ANYONE to see my house, but the closer I am to someone, the less I worry about doing better than that.

And for overnight guests (except my mom, who is the least judgemental person I know and would way prefer mess to stress) I go insane.

I have been in one house that skeeved me. My FIL's, and it really is because of the funky smell. He has very little clutter... but his house seems soooo dirty to me. First of all, he has a cat who likes to hunt. And bring the victim into the house. We are talking little fluffy feathers floating around, a bloodstain on the wood floor that never got cleaned up. SO gross. Like, clean up that which is macabre, at least! And that weird smell. It just seems like it clings to you. The first time we stayed there, I made my husband go out and buy new towels, because I couldn't stand the idea of one of FIL's towels touching me.

I have cleaned his place, we doused everything with bleach and scrubbed and swept and repainted. The smell remained. I think it's the smell of evil.


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

If I just pop by I expect nothing. If the place is a mess because you weren't expecting me than that is my own fault. Same goes for people just popping by my place.

If I know you are coming than the place should be in order. Tidy, clean bathroom, dishes stacked they don't have to be clean. Dog hair swept up.

I think dirty bathrooms are #1 on my gross list though. Dirty, crunchy hand towels with visable stains on it. Ewww!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
If I just pop by I expect nothing. If the place is a mess because you weren't expecting me than that is my own fault. Same goes for people just popping by my place.

If I know you are coming than the place should be in order. Tidy, clean bathroom, dishes stacked they don't have to be clean. Dog hair swept up.

I think dirty bathrooms are #1 on my gross list though. Dirty, crunchy hand towels with visable stains on it. Ewww!

See, all the things I listed as bugging me are things that I take care of ASAP even without company. If I hadn't gotten to something yet when you showed up, I'd clear off the couch (if that was one of the things) and ask you to sit and give me a minute. Or, since you'd be a close friend if you're dropping in suddenly, "I need to take care of a few things, mind tagging along for a minute?"


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## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 
I have cleaned his place, we doused everything with bleach and scrubbed and swept and repainted. The smell remained. I think it's the smell of evil.









Ack! I know that smell! It has permeated the apartment we just moved into. I really think it IS evil...

Here is my short list:
-dirty toilet. Don't care about the bowl, but the seat and the part where the hinge is should be cleaned.
-no soap in the bathroom, crusty or no hand towel
-stench
-mold
-dog and cat poo. how can anyone stand it just laying there on the floor?
-nasty carpet. not stained, nasty slimey carpet
-nasty sitting spaces. Like couches that smell like sour milk and wet dog and have a fine film of grease on them *shudder*


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## fioner (Mar 19, 2006)

Wow, I would be afraid to have some of you over, ever







Mostly because I almost always have dirty dishes sitting somewhere other than in the kitchen. Not for days at a time, but sometimes for a day. And unfortunately I now have to keep the cat box in the corner of the kitchen, which I think is gross, but we don't have a big house and we have a 1-year-old, so, there are only so many places to put it.

For me, I'm grossed out if I get the impression that someone isn't even trying to clean. If it's clear that there is built up disgustingness on several different surfaces, that's gross. It's double gross if they have small children and it's like that. If I see a windowsill that's dusty or something, that's not bad, but if there is stickyness with hair and dirt incorporated into it anywhere, well that's just sad. And that said, if anyone on here ever comes to my house, please give me at least a couple hours notice.

Regarding the pink stuff around the bathtub, I don't know why that happens, but when I lived in Georgia, my bathtub always turned pink, almost immediately after cleaning it. Anywhere water pooled at all would turn pink.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wednesday* 
You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow.

I'd still throw up. I nearly throw up using my long handled disposable toilet cleaners.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
They sell pumice stones on sticks. Just attach a longer stick to one of those.

Also, turn off the water to your toilet and flush. Empty! No bailing.

I might be able to do that but I'd have to throw it away afterwards.

Our toilets don't actually have all the time rings. We do have hard water though and they require cleaning every 4 days or so which seems excessive for other places I've lived in which the bowl got cleaned 2 twice a month while the seat got wiped down more often. I know its just the water though as we have issues with our diapers too. Perhaps I should put calgon in the bowl









I also throw away any storage containers that get moldy. It happens rarely but in the deep recesses sometimes you forget something. Into the trash it goes. Dh tries to catch it before I notice though, he doesn't like it when I throw them away. I'm sure as heck not cleaning them though!


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## mumkenna&lucas (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
I don't like *dirty*:

strong, unpleasant odors (urine, cigarettes, pets, garbage)
visible catbox
stained carpet
filthy blinds
dirty toilets
floors that need vacuuming and mopping
dirty dishes
messy kitchen, period.
messy bathroom, period.

I don't mind a *mess*:

a pile of clean clothes that need to be folded
toys spread out because they're being used
unmade beds

Will I judge? Nope. Will I be uncomfortable? Most definitely.









: My house is always a mess, I have piles of paper on the banquet, clean chlothes that are to be folded on one couch, I rarely empty the dishrack after the dishes are dry. But it is not dirty, the bathroom is disinfected and clean, my floors are sweeped, I have clean sheets on the bed, etc.

and smells bug me too


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## hellyaellen (Nov 8, 2005)

dirty dishes anywhere but the sink if old
poop or pee on the floor and no attempt to clean it
yucky bathroom w/ no tissue
dirty clothes scattered all over......in a pile is fine, in a basket is even better
trash or garbage laying about here and there
an overflowing garbage can

and ok i admit surfaces covered with too much stuff, i spend my time metally filing your papers neatly away, putting your gracerys away, etc., sorting your recyclables...

but as long as there someplace to sit with nothing visible that needs to be thrown away or washed, if most of the surfaces are relatively clear, i can walk without bumping into stuff and the bathroom isn't nasty, its cool

i actually don't mind stink so much


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
I'd still throw up. I nearly throw up using my long handled disposable toilet cleaners.

I might be able to do that but I'd have to throw it away afterwards.

Our toilets don't actually have all the time rings. We do have hard water though and they require cleaning every 4 days or so which seems excessive for other places I've lived in which the bowl got cleaned 2 twice a month while the seat got wiped down more often. I know its just the water though as we have issues with our diapers too. Perhaps I should put calgon in the bowl









I also throw away any storage containers that get moldy. It happens rarely but in the deep recesses sometimes you forget something. Into the trash it goes. Dh tries to catch it before I notice though, he doesn't like it when I throw them away. I'm sure as heck not cleaning them though!


















You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me







! Good for your DH







at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!


----------



## Peppermint Leaf (Jan 11, 2008)

as a realtor we see all sorts of "homes" on a weekly basis .. and I distinctly remember one a few years ago .. we knocked on the door and this great big man answered the door he was wearing an sleeveless undershirt that did not cover his big belly ... he positively wreaked of sweat and beer , he had a garlic sausage in one hand and a cigartte in the other .. as he stepped backed to let us in the smell of all of the above was distinctly mixed with dog and cat pea.......wow -- I was gagging and had to go back outside. Fortunately my DH is also a realtor and so he went in and showed our clients. I still feel ill thinking about that place. (Needless to say it was on the market a very long time!)


----------



## beccalou79 (Mar 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
















You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me







! Good for your DH







at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!

Helpful hint: If you're trying to convert someone to your way of thinking, insulting them is not the way to go. Your post doesn't exactly inspire someone to hug trees, you know? You can be informative without being aggressive.

Back to topic: I have to say that for me, smell is also the number one offender. And I have a morbid fear of mold, so if I saw that in someone's bathroom I'd run away shrieking. But if a house is just messy (not outright nasty), I'm actually more comfortable than if the place is spotless...


----------



## Peppermint Leaf (Jan 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beccalou79* 
*Helpful hint: If you're trying to convert someone to your way of thinking, insulting them is not the way to go. Your post doesn't exactly inspire someone to hug trees, you know? You can be informative without being aggressive.*

Back to topic: I have to say that for me, smell is also the number one offender. And I have a morbid fear of mold, so if I saw that in someone's bathroom I'd run away shrieking. But if a house is just messy (not outright nasty), I'm actually more comfortable than if the place is spotless...





































:


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## CameronsMama (Apr 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
















You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me







! Good for your DH







at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!

Wow, totally uncalled for, and to be honest it is bordering on being a UAV. Please try to be respectful even if you don't agree with something that is said/done. If cleaning or reusing acontainer that has had mold in it makes her feel physically ill, that's not an attitude, it's an uncontrollable gut reaction, likely a very real one to her. All the snark in the world won't settle her stomach.


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## hellyaellen (Nov 8, 2005)

i've thrown away the occaisional storage container too, meagan.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beccalou79* 
Helpful hint: If you're trying to convert someone to your way of thinking, insulting them is not the way to go. Your post doesn't exactly inspire someone to hug trees, you know? You can be informative without being aggressive.









:

For instance, how about something like:
"Since your dh isn't bothered by that stuff, could you redistribute the chores in your family so you generate less waste?"

Really, if you're getting sick from doing a chore, it shouldn't be yours to do.


----------



## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

I had a friend a long time ago that would never clean anything.

One time I went over after church. Before church, her 4-5 yr old had gotten up early, taken off a poopy pull-up, and sat on the carpet to watch tv. She did not clean it up before going to church. At all. When I came over, I watched the dog lick it up.

She also had a mama cat in the basement who kept moving the newborn kittens from the warm pile of blankets onto the cold cement floor. The kittens died. She left them. For weeks.

These are just TWO of the nasty things I saw at her house. She had 4 kids at the time, and now has 5.

THAT is BEYOND disgusting to me. So I kind of use her as a rating. If your house is cleaner than hers, it's fine!


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## GoddessKristie (Oct 31, 2006)

When I'm in someone else's home I don't mind clutter as long as it's not in my way. If they have a dog or cat I expect that their house will smell like it and that I will leave with pet hair on me. I don't like seeing a litterbox unless it's clean and there isn't litter on the floor. I was once at someone's house who asked me to take off my shoes and I had to walk on cat litter to use the bathroom. That was pretty icky.
I don't care if their bathroom is moldy or their sink has gross old dishes in it as long as I'm not taking a shower or doing something in that sink.
As long as I can sit in a chair, eat at the table and not have anything gross on my feet when I leave I'm ok.
There's a difference between messy and dirty. Dirty is gross, messy is life.


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beccalou79* 
Helpful hint: If you're trying to convert someone to your way of thinking, insulting them is not the way to go. Your post doesn't exactly inspire someone to hug trees, you know? You can be informative without being aggressive.

I'm not trying to convert her. I'm just giving my opinion on an issue that is very important to me. Someday she will know that I was right. Feel free to report me if you wish.

And reading her post did and still does make me want to throw up!


----------



## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
















You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me







! Good for your DH







at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!

Yeah, I'm sure you really converted her with that little gem.







:

I recycle like crazy, even behind people at work. And you know what? I'm totally guilty of throwing away a nasty storage container before. It was GROSS and making me sick, and it went in the trash. If something makes you ill, you can't help that. Give her a break.

OP, I can stand a little mess (like clean laundry or toys out) but everything must be deep down clean. I can tolerate more at other people's homes as long as they dont stink .. but at mine, floors and all surfaces must be fresh and clean, smell good (I love to burn soy tarts and candles), dishes clean and put away (I have a thing about dirty dishes, even in the sink) bathroom must be sparkling clean with a fresh smell. No dust, dirty windows, etc. I'll admit, I'm a bit anal about how clean my house is.

But the one area where I fail MISERABLY? My room. I'm nuts about having fresh, clean sheets on the bed, and I do laundry daily. But I'm awful about putting it away.







You will find piles of clean laundry all over my room. I just can't keep it all put away like I should.


----------



## beccalou79 (Mar 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
I'm not trying to convert her. I'm just giving my opinion on an issue that is very important to me. Someday she will know that I was right. Feel free to report me if you wish.

And reading her post did and still does make me want to throw up!

If it's an issue that's truly important to you then you should realize it will take more than your individual desire to make a difference. Nobody has ever changed the world (in a positive way, that is) by alienating others. You can recycle all you want, and boycott plastic water bottles all the livelong day, but your efforts will be wasted if your attitude turns others off of environmentalism altogether. To tell you the truth, the snarky way you've worded your signature line is probably making someone twist off the cap of a 20 oz. Aquafina right now, just out of spite.


----------



## CameronsMama (Apr 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
I'm not trying to convert her. I'm just giving my opinion on an issue that is very important to me. Someday she will know that I was right. Feel free to report me if you wish.

And reading her post did and still does make me want to throw up!

And you are totally entitled to your opinion, and to be honest the point is not whether you are right or wrong, the point is that there was no reason to be disrepectful, and that if you care about the earth and want to improve things, a little friendly teaching will go so much further than snark.


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beccalou79* 
If it's an issue that's truly important to you then you should realize it will take more than your individual desire to do so. Nobody has ever changed the world (in a positive way, that is) by alienating others. You can recycle all you want, and boycott plastic water bottles all the livelong day, but your efforts will be wasted if your attitude turns others off of environmentalism altogether. To tell you the truth, your signature line is probably making someone twist off the cap of a 20 oz. Aquafina right now, just out of spite.

















Funny! I'm driving them to drink out of plastic. How pathetic that is, if it is indeed true. I won't sugar coat the truth so I don't offend someone. I'm not into fairy tales.


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## crosscat (Mar 18, 2008)

I'm hopelessly neat, but it doesn't bother me if I visit a house that's cluttered or messy. I only get uncomfortable if it's stinky.

I don't like it when people apologize for their houses not being tidy.


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## Meg_s (Apr 13, 2006)

<crying> how do I get rid of poopy smell in the carpet


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## crosscat (Mar 18, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
I also throw away any storage containers that get moldy. It happens rarely but in the deep recesses sometimes you forget something. Into the trash it goes. Dh tries to catch it before I notice though, he doesn't like it when I throw them away. I'm sure as heck not cleaning them though!

I do this on occasion, too.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:

Wow, I would be afraid to have some of you over, ever
Me too. Unmade bed? No hand towel? OH, the horror! (lol)

It takes a lot for me to be grossed out. I don't care if your house is messy or even a little "dirty", as long as there is no human or pet waste, pet hair, mold, over-flowing trash, or funky smells I'll be fine. Bascially as long as it doesn't harm me, I really won't care how you keep your house.

I try not to judge that much, most of my friends have young children. I expect stained carpets, toys scattered, possible cookies/snacks hidden in random places (i can't have the only 14 month old who hides her snacks lol)


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
















You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me







! Good for your DH







at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!

How about I be polite and respond to you with a little dignity.

I'm well aware of the horrible state our planet is in. This is why I use all safe, biodegradeable cleaning products. This is why I do EC and cloth diapers. This is why I use reuseable menstrual products. This is why I use cloth towels instead of paper towels. This is why we buy organic. This is why we recycle. This is why we buy used things whenever possible.

I think my once weekly toilet scrubber puts me extremely low on my consumption and trash output compared to most other people.

But, really you'd reuse a container that had mold stains that wouldn't come out? (ETA: dh does the cleaning. I leave the room so I won't gag. Even if its stained he doesn't want to get rid of it though. He's the type to hold onto shirts that haven't fit him since 8th grade whereas I'd rather take them to the shelter or remake them into something else [I made a bunch of great baby lap Ts from his old shirts!]) I'd rather recycle it and let it be completely sanitized and used again. Good thing I keep my yogurt containers and glass jars so I have lots of reuseable containers and that I buy from companies that make their containers with reuse and recycling in mind.

Be careful with your assumptions and stone throwing.

I prefer to assume the best of people rather than jump to the worst possible conclusion.

I know lots of people that think cloth diapers are gross. I don't judge them, they handle what they can handle. Instead I focus my energy explaining where they can find non-toxic and biodegradeable disposable diapers. And helping them find where they can buy them in bulk to save money. That seems a lot better than calling them names or berating them so that not only is my cloth diaper message lost but so is my message of organics, reusing, recycling, and more.

We are all here on Mothering.com which is a website geared towards natural family living and attachment parenting. No one here is the perfect earth mother (you included I'm sure) but we do the best that we can and for each of us that is a different level.

Every good thing we do for our bodies and earth counts! Celebrate the good and encourage each other to do more.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
dh does the cleaning. I leave the room so I won't gag. Even if its stained he doesn't want to get rid of it though.

If it stayed stained after cleaning, that would ick me out and I'd totally have to have a separate place for the stained ones, but I've found that sitting out in the bright sun for a few hours does wonders. (Also good with tomato stains!)


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
I'd still throw up. I nearly throw up using my long handled disposable toilet cleaners.

I might be able to do that but I'd have to throw it away afterwards.

Our toilets don't actually have all the time rings. We do have hard water though and they require cleaning every 4 days or so which seems excessive for other places I've lived in which the bowl got cleaned 2 twice a month while the seat got wiped down more often. I know its just the water though as we have issues with our diapers too. Perhaps I should put calgon in the bowl









I also throw away any storage containers that get moldy. It happens rarely but in the deep recesses sometimes you forget something. Into the trash it goes. Dh tries to catch it before I notice though, he doesn't like it when I throw them away. I'm sure as heck not cleaning them though!

Sounded to me like you were proud of throwing them out. You didn't even say you recycled them. Single use disposable products (like your toilet bowl cleaner)are horrible for the environment. I'm sorry but that is a fact. It makes me mad they even sell things like that. It makes me angry that people can't see the environmental damage they cause when they buy and use things like that.


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

I recycle like crazy, and even better, reduce my consumption. I don't use paper towels, kleenex, paper plates, plastic water bottles, plastic food storage, cleaning products etc.

But I will throw out moldy food containers in a heartbeat. Maybe once a year when some leftovers get missed in the back of the fridge.

I also use disposable toilet cleaning wands.

Nobody's perfect. I personally think that you can't reuse EVERYTHING.


----------



## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fioner* 

Regarding the pink stuff around the bathtub, I don't know why that happens, but when I lived in Georgia, my bathtub always turned pink, almost immediately after cleaning it. Anywhere water pooled at all would turn pink.









: I wonder if it has something to do with something like iron in the water? My grandparents had water with a lot of iron in it, and everything turned orange/red ... not pink though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 







Funny! I'm driving them to drink out of plastic. How pathetic that is, if it is indeed true. I won't sugar coat the truth so I don't offend someone. I'm not into fairy tales.

It's entirely possible to be polite AND honest. Perhaps in a few years you'll embrace that, and your message will be accepted by more people.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
Every good thing we do for our bodies and earth counts! Celebrate the good and encourage each other to do more.









:


----------



## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
Sounded to me like you were proud of throwing them out. You didn't even say you recycled them. Single use disposable products (like your toilet bowl cleaner)are horrible for the environment. I'm sorry but that is a fact. It makes me mad they even sell things like that. It makes me angry that people can't see the environmental damage they cause when they buy and use things like that.


Mind if I ask where you bought your horse? Mine seems to be on the short side and I'm sure having a higher one would make being hagish easier.

The not so lovely quailty of forum posting is the ability of others to infer/assume certain meanings. We recycle. I often say "throw it out". I say that because everyone in my house knows what I mean. I, by default, would assume the same of anyone reading a post worded like that. Sadly though, readers can assume too. You have shown brillantly how that's done. If you had read one of megan's earlier posts you would have seen her use of reuseabe items was mostly in the bathroom with the occassional tupperware toss.

Hopefully when you're ready to get off your high horse someone will have a step stool ready for an easy dismount. Otherwise I hope when you're knocked off by someone else megan's reuseable toilet brushes break your fall.

ETA: In regards to your siggy...i'm guessing you live somewhere with excellent water. Lucky you.

This post brought to you by the honest fact that you're bugging me and I'm ornry. Have a nice day.


----------



## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

So I didn't want to kill the thread....

I can handle most mess and dirt. I cannot handle dirty washer/dryer areas. The weird greyish gunk that builds up around them drives me crazy! Even if you don't have pets or lots of hair it seems to attract it. It's like a washers equivalent to super glue!

I also notice spots on mirrors. I can handle that if the rest of the bathroom is clean though.

Oh! And overflowing bathroom trashcans. I had a friend growing up and they were horrible about taking it out. 4 women in the house and once a month the bathrooms were atrocious since thy let the pads fill up and overflow. uke:


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## prettypixels (Apr 13, 2006)

I just want you all to know that this thread made me get up and clean my house. Seriously. Thanks... and CURSE YOU... hahaha!







But my house is now like 5000 times cleaner. Woot!

My brothers house is completely disgusting. It smells bad, there is tons of dust everywhere, big sticky cobwebs, etc. Even when it is neatened up, it still smells bad and just *feels* dirty. I don't even know how to explain that. I don't know; but I have a dog and a baby and my house doesn't smell!

You know I do my best to recycle, reduce, reuse... but when I can't, I can't, and I find myself pondering the landfill near my home which has recently been converted into a golf course and neighborhood. I think if things are *properly disposed*, it's more important than being perfect with recycling.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

I found this thread really helpful today!

My sil was stopping by and I knew in advance. I'm 8 months pregnant and was really tired. I only scrubbed the toilet, emptied the sink, and vacuumed the floor (because she has an 8 month old). The rest I just left.
When she came in I told her, "I was too tired to clean up for you." She said she understood and she only has one child!


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OtherMother'n'Madre* 
i'm guessing you live somewhere with excellent water.

I highly recommend getting a sink filter to anyone in an area with bad-tasting water. I don't know that they're any good against contaminated water, but for flavor related problems, they make all the difference.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amylcd* 
Me too. Unmade bed? No hand towel? OH, the horror! (lol)

Doesn't have to be a hand towel. Just something clean and dry to dry my hands off on when I use your restroom. I'm only 99.999% of the time wearing something I'm willing to dry my hands on.







But yeah, if it's a choice between something icky and nothing, choose nothing.


----------



## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I highly recommend getting a sink filter to anyone in an area with bad-tasting water. I don't know that they're any good against contaminated water, but for flavor related problems, they make all the difference.

So true! We don't have the sink thing, but we use a Brita water pitcher that filters tap water. Our tap water tastes NASTY, but that thing makes all the difference, it tastes great!!


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OtherMother'n'Madre* 
This post brought to you by the honest fact that you're bugging me and I'm ornry. Have a nice day.

















Funny that's why I wrote my first post!









You have every right to your opinion just as I have every right to mine. As for our water quality here. I thought maybe I would try and save it for my children BEFORE it gets disgusting. Call me crazy I am in to preventative steps. It's not like pollution is a new phenonemon. Perhaps if everyone wasn't using all kinds of disposable products then water everywhere would be cleaner? It is possible to fix the problems. People just have to educate themselves. Ignorance is not bliss.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Newsflash ParisApril, the electricity you are using to spread hateful messages on the internet has futher reaching negative environmental impact than using a disposable toilet brush. How far are you willing to go to help the planet you love so much? Far enough to turn off the computer? Yeah, we all have our comfort levels









Megan's happens to be not reaching into a bowl where her whole family sh!ts, and I can respect that.

Yours happens to be that you love the environment a lot, but not enough to save electricity instead of insulting people on the internet









Anyway, this thread is enlightening. I don't mind a messy house but there is a line into gross (the dog licking the poopy pull up made me dry heave) that is too gross for me.


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Newsflash ParisApril, the electricity you are using to spread hateful messages on the internet has futher reaching negative environmental impact than using a disposable toilet brush. How far are you willing to go to help the planet you love so much? Far enough to turn off the computer? Yeah, we all have our comfort levels









Megan's happens to be not reaching into a bowl where her whole family sh!ts, and I can respect that.

Yours happens to be that you love the environment a lot, but not enough to save electricity instead of insulting people on the internet









I am actually using a used low energy laptop and I have made the effort to make sure my electricity comes from a renewable source.

Newsfash captain crunchy - Using a reuseable scrub brush to clean a toilet is not an unreasonable request. It uses less water, energy and non renewable resources.

Please stop encouraging me to keep writing.







I could go on forever about the environment.


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

You're unwillingness to admit that your post was overly harsh and assumptive makes it very hard to take anything you say seriously.

And no, a reusable toilet brush isn't unreasonable. It's just not a request you're entitled to make of another person.


----------



## bungalowmama (Aug 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettypixels* 
I just want you all to know that this thread made me get up and clean my house. Seriously. Thanks... and CURSE YOU... hahaha!







But my house is now like 5000 times cleaner. Woot!



This is my reaction, too! I can't wait to get home and clean my house. No babies yet, but DH and I both work long hours at full-time jobs. By the time I get home on weeknights and cook dinner and clean up from dinner, I'm exhausted. On weekends I normally do all of the laundry and clean the house, but lately we've been using the weekends to work in our yard. Add a super shedding golden retriever mix to that situation, and my wood floors are embarrassingly furry. *sigh* There just aren't enough hours in the day and I'm starting to envy my neighbor who is a SAHM to one child and has a weekly cleaning lady.


----------



## beka1977 (Aug 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wednesday* 
You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow. I have a pair of those I break out when I have a yucky job to do. For the toilet (I had stains at the bottom of the bowl from when a rusty plumber's snake was used to clear a clog) I put on the glove, then used an empty yogurt cup to bail out all the water (poured it down the bathroom sink), then used the pumice stone to scrub the stain. Took off the glove when I was done and laid it out in the sun to dry.


*Where do I get a pumice stone like this? Is it made especially for cleaning toilets? Does it ruin the finish? I would think it would make the pumiced areas all scratchy?!?!*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
She also mentioned the 'pink gunk' she gets in her tub and sink. To this day, I'm still not sure what she was referring to. I'm actually kind of afraid.

We get this - it is from our hard water. Gross.


----------



## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beka1977* 
*Where do I get a pumice stone like this? Is it made especially for cleaning toilets? Does it ruin the finish? I would think it would make the pumiced areas all scratchy?!?!*

Hardware store? Cleaning aisle at Target? I can't really remember where mine came from. I know I have seen them mounted on a plastic stick tho so you can keep your distance even a bit more. I'm not squeamish about the toilet tho, I put on a glove and do what I need to do and wash my hands after







.

I get the pink/orange build-up in the bathroom as well, around the drain and a little bit in the tile grout. I used to think it was mineral buildup but I heard something on the radio that it's some kind of growth (bacteria? mildew? can't remember). Like, something in their air that settles wherever it's damp and then grows. I have sprayed it with diluted bleach and had it disappear, I don't think if it were mineral build-up the bleach would have that effect.

This page has a discussion about it, consensus seems to be it's a type of mold:

http://www.homediscussion.com/showthread.php?t=73583


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Attitudes like that ParisApril, are so ineffective in making people rethink what they do. Someday you will learn this.

What you are basically telling people, is unless they can do everything, they should do nothing -- because what they *are* doing has so little value that they may as well do nothing... unless they live up to your standards. What a myopic world view, and one that has never been effective.


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## anniegirl (May 17, 2005)

Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn!

I throw away yucky food containers too. Sorry great-grandchildren. We also have very limited recycling here (corrugated cardboard, newspaper and aluminum cans only). So even if I did wash it out (thereby wasting potable water that we desperately need to conserve here in the desert), I'd throw it away anyway. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to let it keep me up at night either.

As for the actual topic of this thread. I'm like most everyone else. Messy is no big deal, but dirty bothers me. And this thread has inspired me to sweep and mop my floors, LOL!

I have an amusing story about unexpected visitors and extremely messy houses. This was a couple years ago, DS1 had just turned two and DS2 was a newborn. The piece of @$%! washing machine that we had at the time had broken down yet again in the middle of the wash cycle. I was trying to fix it with ds2 in a wrap on my back. In the meantime, ds1 had poured an entire box of Cheerios on the floor and scattered them through the kitchen and living room. There were toys everywhere. The dirty dishes from dinner the night before were still in the sink.

I'm swearing at the washing machine, frustrated to the hilt, with a screwdriver in one hand, a wrench in the other and a baby on my back when I hear a polite tap-tap at the back door. I look up to see my MIL standing there. I'm sure the look on my face was priceless. Turned out she needed to use the bathroom. It was the one and only time she arrived unannounced. She politely and noncholantly tip-toed around the Cheerios and somehow dodged the toys. To her credit, she didn't say a word and probably would have stayed and helped me clean up if she hadn't been in a hurry.

In the moment I was so frustrated by the washing machine that I didn't have it in me to be too bothered. I was pretty mortified later though! My only consolation was that at least the bathroom was clean!


----------



## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Attitudes like that ParisApril, are so ineffective in making people rethink what they do. Someday you will learn this.

What you are basically telling people, is unless they can do everything, they should do nothing -- because what they *are* doing has so little value that they may as well do nothing... unless they live up to your standards. What a myopic world view, and one that has never been effective.









I believe quite the contrary. I never said all or nothing. I've only said admit that you could be doing more.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Who has any obligation to admit to you or anyone that they could be doing more though? I mean, wowzers.


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anniegirl* 
Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn!

I throw away yucky food containers too. Sorry great-grandchildren. We also have very limited recycling here (corrugated cardboard, newspaper and aluminum cans only). So even if I did wash it out (thereby wasting potable water that we desperately need to conserve here in the desert), I'd throw it away anyway. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to let it keep me up at night either.

This I'm afraid is where we are very different. I DO stay awake at night and worry about the future of my kids and grandchildren. Late night thinking has given me many great ideas. I try and use my energy in my real life to make positive changes to my community and country. Don't you think you could be doing something about the fact that your area doesn't recycle instead of just acceping it as fact?







:


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 
Who has any obligation to admit to you or anyone that they could be doing more though? I mean, wowzers.

I don't need or want people to admit to me that they could be doing more. I just hope they will admit it to themselves.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beka1977* 
*Where do I get a pumice stone like this? Is it made especially for cleaning toilets? Does it ruin the finish? I would think it would make the pumiced areas all scratchy?!?!*

You can get them anywhere - home stores, grocery stores. Just make sure you don't get the beauty type, they're coated.

It doesn't ruin the finish, no. At our old house, it would leave what looked to be scratches but they'd go away quickly. You don't need to grind it









Thankfully, the new house doesn't have this problem.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aliviasmom*
I had a friend a long time ago that would never clean anything.

One time I went over after church. Before church, her 4-5 yr old had gotten up early, taken off a poopy pull-up, and sat on the carpet to watch tv. She did not clean it up before going to church. At all. When I came over, I watched the dog lick it up.

She also had a mama cat in the basement who kept moving the newborn kittens from the warm pile of blankets onto the cold cement floor. The kittens died. She left them. For weeks.

These are just TWO of the nasty things I saw at her house. She had 4 kids at the time, and now has 5.

Oh my GOODNESS. That actually made the vomit rise in my throat a bit. Talk about disgusting and unsanitary. I feel so bad for her children - YIKES.

I'm sure DH (who is a cop) could write pages and pages about the disgusting houses he's been to *shudders*


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## GoddessKristie (Oct 31, 2006)

Well, it's obvious that some people here have very charged emotions, but really this thread is about being messy not wasteful.

Anniegirl, your thread had me really laughing (I hope you don't mind), that sounds like something that would happen to me. Terrible timing. Oh man, I'm glad she was so gracious about it!









I too have heard that pink stuff is a precurser to mildew. It seems to really like caulking. If I'm not careful we get it sometimes too.

It sounds like the lady with the poop on the floor and the dead kittens had other issues going on. Most likely something emotional. I wouldn't judge to harshly, though I hope she found some help and is doing much better now. I too feel for her kids. That must have been hard on them.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *anniegirl* 
In the moment I was so frustrated by the washing machine that I didn't have it in me to be too bothered. I was pretty mortified later though! My only consolation was that at least the bathroom was clean!









See, the clean bathroom makes it all better in my book. It implies all the other mess is new mess.









And, yeah, thinking of this thread made me clean the bathroom.


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## anniegirl (May 17, 2005)

I'm glad it made you laugh! That's why I posted it! I'll have to remind my MIL about it next time I see her, so we can laugh about it too.

I have another unexpected visitors/messy house story. This one's not so funny though. I had forgotten about until just now and it hacked me off remembering it!

This one happened shortly after the first story. Ds2 was 3 months. My FIL had just passed away. My dh and his siblings has to move all his stuff out his apartment right away to avoid having to pay another month's rent on his apartment (FIL was broke). Since dh was the only of his siblings living in a house all his belongings that needed to be sorted through ended up at our house (FIL and MIL were divorced). It was mess.

A couple that were friends of FIL showed up unannounced (to be fair, I think they had called dh first, but he forgot to tell me). This is a wealthy couple, with an immaculate house. The husband is laid back, the wife is very well groomed, perfect hair, designer clothing etc. She reminds of Blythe Danner.

So anyway, they stop by. I'm still in my pajamas, bouncing ds2 on the exercise ball. I apologize for the mess and before I even got the chance to explain that all the boxes, stacks of artwork, and piles of junk laying around belonged to FIL she gave this snotty little sniff and said "Well, it looks lived in I suppose." She wouldn't even sit down, looking around as though she would catch something. She never even offered her condolences. Classy lady, eh?

Which reminds of a story about those disposable toilet cleaners. I cleaned FIL's bathroom after he passed. It was by far the dirtiest bathroom I've seen in my life. Before that day, I thought those disposable sponge things were a ridiculous waste. I was praising the gods for them that day though.


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## KaliShanti (Mar 23, 2008)

*How Messy is Too Messy?*

*Things I can't stand are:*

-Bad odor, esp. pet odor
-Pet mess on the floor
-Dirty (I mean REALLY dirty, not just kinda stained) toilets
-Overflowing trash cans
-Dirty dishes stacked all over countertops (not resting nicely in the sink or 1 dish on the counter, I mean lots of them)
-Food bits left out all over the kitchen
-Really sticky floors
-If I am staying for a meal, having the table with gunk on it

I'd prefer for the house to not look like a tornado hit it as far as clutter, but that doesn't really bother me like the other things.


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## 3*is*magic (Sep 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
This I'm afraid is where we are very different. I DO stay awake at night and worry about the future of my kids and grandchildren. Late night thinking has given me many great ideas. I try and use my energy in my real life to make positive changes to my community and country. _*Don't you think you could be doing something about the fact that your area doesn't recycle instead of just acceping it as fact?*_







:

ParisApril, why not take a step back from this and, instead of reacting combatively to people, reply in the spirit of MDC - with friendship and empathy. How do you know she's NOT doing something about the recycling options where she lives? Just b/c she said she wasn't losing sleep about about it doesn't mean that she's not taking action in some way. I don't lose sleep about a lot of things I work hard on all day long.

Peace.


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## MiriamF (Feb 8, 2006)

I love this thread. It also made me wash all the dishes (well, there weren't many, I wash dishes 2-3 times a day) and go upstairs and scrub the sink and tub. Our house is pretty clean though so I feel safe with drop-in visitors (not that we ever get any!)

As for what makes me uncomfortable... definitely lots of dust bunnies, animal hair, dirty bathrooms, dirty floors. I have a high tolerance, though, as long as I'm not staying there to eat or for more than an hour or two.

I used to throw out moldy containers a few years ago. I probably only did it 4 or 5 times but my husband really hated that. Now I never do because the fridge is always clean and we almost never have leftovers. We used the fridge primarily to store tons of fresh produce. So that kind of solves the moldy container dilemma for us! I totally get the need to throw them away, especially if they are cheap plastic.


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## crosscat (Mar 18, 2008)

*anniegirl* Your post about your MIL's unannounced visit made me giggle out loud. We keep a rather tidy house (we don't have any kids yet though), but it seems like anytime someone drops by unannounced it's when the house isn't quite as tidy as usual.

Like where you live the plastic food containers aren't recycled (yet) where I live. We can recycle 1s and 2s only of the plastics. I hope that changes soon for both of us.


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## dbsam (Mar 3, 2007)

This post is getting me motivated to scrub bathrooms! I'm guessing my house would be gross to many of you since we probably have pet odor...I can't tell...and definitely have dog hair.

Like pp's a few things really gross me out&#8230;soggy hand towels, dirty bathrooms, yucky floors. This doesn't mean I never have those things in my house!

Prior to having the children our house was spotless - obsessively so. We never thought it was clean enough and would actually apologize about the state of the house - which I now see was ridiculous.

We've come full circle. I think if I can't keep it perfect I get overwhelmed and give up. I don't sit down all day and occasionally get things clean and in order&#8230;but the next day everything can be chaos again. I can vacuum and clean tile or wood and after one meal or two shedding dogs walk through I'm stepping on grime again!

Years ago a co-worker told me she would flip her milk cap on the floor when the carton was empty so her cat could lick the lid. I looked at her appalled! Now that I have children I think of her often when I see all the crud that ends up on my floor.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Apropos of nothing (yeah, that was a lie), this will be a useful thread if it doesn't get locked or deleted.


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3*is*magic* 
ParisApril, why not take a step back from this and, instead of reacting combatively to people, reply in the spirit of MDC - with friendship and empathy. How do you know she's NOT doing something about the recycling options where she lives? Just b/c she said she wasn't losing sleep about about it doesn't mean that she's not taking action in some way. I don't lose sleep about a lot of things I work hard on all day long.

Peace.

I hope you are right. Sometimes I wonder if everyone worried just a little bit more and did just that little bit more. What kind of world would it be then? If we just don't ever stop improving. It's exciting to think about, you know?


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## sbgrace (Sep 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meg_s* 
<crying> how do I get rid of poopy smell in the carpet

Did anyone answer this for you? Try Nature's Miracle. Lots of it.


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## anniegirl (May 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3*is*magic* 
ParisApril, why not take a step back from this and, instead of reacting combatively to people, reply in the spirit of MDC - with friendship and empathy. How do you know she's NOT doing something about the recycling options where she lives? Just b/c she said she wasn't losing sleep about about it doesn't mean that she's not taking action in some way. I don't lose sleep about a lot of things I work hard on all day long.

Peace.

That was very kind of you, thanks









I wasn't going to respond to ParisApril, but I'm a sucker so I guess I will. I got my first post wrong. Our city does recycle #1 and #2. The recycling place where I take our aluminum (dh likes Coke in cans. the horror!) doesn't have a container for the plastic. I do my best to not buy stuff in plastic containers, so I rarely have any to recycle anyway (REDUCING first, rather than even having something that needs to be recycled). Maybe I should start a drive in town to set up more containers for the plastic. But I'm not going to.

There are a million and one things to be concerned about. The fact that my town does not recycle #5 (the plastic which most food containers are made out and the plastic that every once in a blue moon I throw away) is pretty much on the bottom of my list of concerns. Maybe someday I'll be a community activist, but I'm not going to be now. The little free time that I have in my life right now I like to spend here on MDC (which I have been way too much lately), reading, maintaining a healthy marriage or maybe taking a bubble bath by myself (there I go wasting water again!).

When my life is a little less crazy the first thing I will do with my time is to volunteer at the day care center for homeless kids. Our county has one of the highest child poverty rates in the nation. That tops my community concern way more than the fact that we don't have many recycling options.

How about Darfur or AIDS orphans? I'm not doing much for them either. My point is that you will ALWAYS be able to criticize someone for not doing enough, not being concerned enough, not being active enough. But in the end the criticism rarely leads to change or education, just makes us pissy and defensive. I do think recycling is important, but it's not a panacea. Reducing and reusing comes first.

And anyway, #5 is the hardest plastic to recycle. Very few places can recycle it. Maybe someday my little contribution to the world will be to invent a machine that efficiently turns #5 plastics into those little flushable toilet cleaner thingys.









ETA: I meant to add that it sounds as though you are trying your very best to live an earth-friendly life and learning to leave as little impact as possible. I applaud you for it and really do appreciate your effort. I've yet to see another mama on this board who isn't doing the same, and I applaud them too. None of us are doing it perfectly though. I know I've got a lot to learn, and that's why I'm here.


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## mommaof3boz (Feb 15, 2006)

Anniegirl


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## beccalou79 (Mar 16, 2007)

Here's the thing, April. I worry about the kind of world my kids will inherit, too... but it seems to me that the most endangered thing on our planet right now is basic human kindness. If you're trying to save the world and yet-- in the same breath-- calling people stupid and telling them that they make you want to throw up... well, such blatant cruelty as that makes some folks wonder if the world is worth saving. I mean, look how many views this thread has gotten! And these are people you could be influencing in a much more positive way, if only your message included as much affection for them as it does for the trees. Trees are great to hug and all... but you know what? People hug back.


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

Everyone has different "levels" of earth-friendliness.

Some people use family cloth, mama-pads, cloth diapers, eat all organic but choose to drive an SUV because of their family size.

Others use paper products, disposable diapers, but recycle and are vegan.

Others don't think about any of this stuff and are just learning. Its a process that can start with just one thing.

Again, not everyone is perfect, and also, you have to make choices for your own family.

AND, you are preaching to the choir. You are in the mindful home management section of a NFL site. Sheesh.

(this was typed out whilst eating prepackaged empanadas and drinking diet coke with lime, using my plastic computer keyboard.)


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tilia* 
(this was typed out whilst eating prepackaged empanadas and drinking diet coke with lime, using my plastic computer keyboard.)

What does that statement prove?


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

What I just said, not everyone is perfect. Cans are bad for the environment and my computer is made of mostly plastic, another thing that is terrible for the environment. Are you saying your children shouldn't have internet?


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## Scribe (Feb 12, 2007)

It's hard to put into words, but there is some stuff on this thread that really bothers me.

My house is dirty. Not particularly messy, but by the standards set by many here, dirty. Why? Well, I have three cat boxes out where you can see them (in my laundry room). They're cleaned often, but they are visible. And pet hair? Two long haired dogs and only one adult in the house who can vacuum without an asthma attack spells lots of dog hair, everywhere. We do the best we can to keep things reasonably clean--the dishes get done most every day, the bathrooms get cleaned pretty often, the floors get cleaned when the energy can be mustered. But honestly, I am completely unwilling to keep up the level of clean a lot of you here say you'd need to feel comfortable. It would require hours of my day, and it wouldn't be worth it.


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *avengingophelia* 
It's hard to put into words, but there is some stuff on this thread that really bothers me.

My house is dirty. Not particularly messy, but by the standards set by many here, dirty. Why? Well, I have three cat boxes out where you can see them (in my laundry room). They're cleaned often, but they are visible. And pet hair? Two long haired dogs and only one adult in the house who can vacuum without an asthma attack spells lots of dog hair, everywhere. We do the best we can to keep things reasonably clean--the dishes get done most every day, the bathrooms get cleaned pretty often, the floors get cleaned when the energy can be mustered. But honestly, I am completely unwilling to keep up the level of clean a lot of you here say you'd need to feel comfortable. It would require hours of my day, and it wouldn't be worth it.

FWIW if I visit someone with a cat, I expect a cat box. If they have a dog, I expect their home to smell a bit doggy. And I totally expect hair!

The only time a pet situation made me uncomfortable was the one I mentioned, my FIL's cat had brought something in and killed it, and the wood floor still had blood on it. That's a big old EW from me.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

I get that if you have pets you have pet mess. Its part of the reason we don't have indoor pets. When its your own pet you love it and its mess isn't a big deal.

I don't freak out if dh leaves a pubic hair on the toilet but if I was at someone else's house and saw a curly it would be gross.

I'm really low on the judgement though. I've got 2 kids, soon to be 3, and I know how freaking quickly a place can get messy to the point _I_ don't want people over. If you feed 2 kids breakfast and lunch the kitchen is ruined, the table sticky, the floor a mess, dishes piled up...it doesn't take much.

Its a cycle of cleaning. It feels like you never really make a dent but you just keep going and cherish those 2 minutes of perfection that an hour of cleaning the kitchen gives you before it starts to go downhill again.

I'm glad we've had this discussion, even the slightly off topic part. I still don't think April gets it though.
Good for you for worrying about things and trying to make changes.

I can only do so many things at a time. Right now my focus is on my young children and providing the best I can for them. I'd love to be a big activist organizing events and building an environmentally harmonious home.

The other night I had to stop reading horrible news stories about floods, Monsanto, Iraq, gas prices, etc because I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack (not such a good thing when you are 32 weeks pregnant!).

I suppose I subscribe to the idea that you do what you can do and make changes to better yourself as you can. I can't constantly feel guilty about what I'm not doing _now_ or stay up all night long worrying about it. Guilt and worry don't change anything, instead they only prevent me from being a good mom.


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## Mamatolea (Jan 17, 2007)

Ok, where is the "Don't feed the troll" smilie that some other boards have? LOL

Anyways, for me, smell is the worst.

Next is piles of dog hair or cat hair everywhere, like on the kitchen counter, ESPECIALLY if I am over for dinner. Thanks but NO thanks.

And lastly, feces on the toilet-anywhere-if it is in, on or around the toilet, forget it. I would rather poop myself than use that...

My house is anything but spotless.

I always have toys lying around because I have a 16 month old who loves to empty the toybox daily(like she might find a new treasure in there? LOL)

The carpets get dirty because inconsiderate people NEVER take their shoes off, no matter the sign or how many times I ask them to take them off...

I have tons and tons and tons of clean laundry in my room and my bed is NEVER NEVER NEVER made(but I generally shut the bedroom door when guests come over.

My kitchen is almost always clean because that is a pet peeve of mine. But I might have dishes in the sink so I can do them all at once.

There is always fresh towels in the bathroom in the basket next to the sink, I am a constant face washer(OCD) so I can't stand not having a clean towel to wipe my face with....


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## um_hanna (Nov 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 







Funny! I'm driving them to drink out of plastic. How pathetic that is, if it is indeed true. I won't sugar coat the truth so I don't offend someone. I'm not into fairy tales.

like the old saying goes, you get more w/ honey then you do vinegar. its really in how you say something, not what you are actually saying. Im sure your not 100 % eco friendly, and have not always been in the place you are now. everyone is on a constant evolving journey. be loving to the others that have not gotten to where you are at yet.
Blessings
Heather


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## OllieMama (Jun 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beccalou79* 
Here's the thing, April. I worry about the kind of world my kids will inherit, too... but it seems to me that the most endangered thing on our planet right now is basic human kindness. If you're trying to save the world and yet-- in the same breath-- calling people stupid and telling them that they make you want to throw up... well, such blatant cruelty as that makes some folks wonder if the world is worth saving. I mean, look how many views this thread has gotten! And these are people you could be influencing in a much more positive way, if only your message included as much affection for them as it does for the trees. Trees are great to hug and all... but you know what? People hug back.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
If there are fruit flies in the kitchen, I expect there to also be little bowls of soapy apple juice. If you seem resigned to the bugs, that's a sign that I'm lucky I'm not seeing worse.

umm i live in a building and fruit flies show up even when there is not a fruit or veg in the house. its so weird they come from other apartments and u even see them in the halls at times.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *WeasleyMum* 
OK, none of you are allowed to come to my house, EVER!!!









nore mine









things that make me














:







:








ROACHES EWWWWWW that is the only thing that would make me







and not come back (how about where they dont run when you turn the light on)
cat box/smoke smells
pee all over the tolet, floors and walls (was not even a child in that house)
not being able to have even a path to get in to the room
cumbs, food , crud all over the place and more then just a few days worth

spills, dishes, food, clutter, junk, messes, clothing washed or dirty, clean or dirty floor, dust. dont bother me
depending who's house i am at i might look the other way or do something (wash dishes, put clothes way, pick up)
i dont judge everyone has up and down times. sometimes things get done and sometimes come up. i put my kids, my health ect. over house work.
if you shows up unanounced, univited, or on very short notice and then says things about my house be ready for


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tilia* 
What I just said, not everyone is perfect. Cans are bad for the environment and my computer is made of mostly plastic, another thing that is terrible for the environment. Are you saying your children shouldn't have internet?

I don't want to fight with you.


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## KateKat (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Collinsky* 
When you go to visit someone, what level of mess are you comfortable seeing? What would cause you to think, "Okay, that's too dirty." What bothers you? What doesn't at all?

I'm assuming that no one goes to visit anyone with the intent to judge, it's not about that... but when you see a home, what causes you to feel that it's past "Comfortably Untidy?" Dishes in the sink? Dirty bathroom? Weird smell? Mantelpiece doesn't pass the white-glove dust test?









I'm asking because my house is chronically messy!!










Messy I can cope with. Filthy I cannot.

My cousin's house is filthy and her bathroom is so disgusting that I hover over her toilet to pee and bring my own pocket pack of tissues to wipe. It smells. The inside of the toilet bowel is stained, the seat usually contains urine or fecal matter, and the toilet paper seems to always be moist. The handsoap has a layer of dust on it to indicate it's lack of use. I've seen cleaner bathrooms in gas stations.


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## Tradd (Sep 13, 2005)

What makes me uncomfortable when visiting -

So much stuff on the floor (kid toys, pet toys, etc.) that you can't walk for fear of tripping over something. Not even a clear path! At least clear a path!

When you have to use the bathroom and there is one square of toilet paper left and there is not an extra roll in the bathroom - you have to yell for more toilet paper while sitting - dripping! - on the john!

Litterbox smells

My pet peeve:

When there is pet hair EVERYWHERE and there's nowhere to sit, not even a hard chair, without getting hair all over your clothes.

I wish people would even keep an extra sheet handy to throw over a chair or even of the couch for visitors when they have animals who are allowed on the furniture and the furniture is always hairy. Most of my pants/skirts are black. When I visit one family's home I have to remember to wear grey since that doesn't show the cat hair as much, especially if I'm going somewhere afterwards.


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ParisApril* 
I don't want to fight with you.

Ok, cool.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

Second, because if someone is going to visit with 30 minutes or less notice, we run into a triage situation , where you have to quickly assess and decide what to clean and how well to clean it.
When I have to quick clean, I declutter the living room (since it's the first room someone sees), light cleaning of the bathroom and throw in a load of dishes. Any time I have left I use to clear and wipe surfaces (tables and counters).


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meg_s* 
<crying> how do I get rid of poopy smell in the carpet

What kind of shape is the floor under the carpet in? Ripping out our carpet when we bought our house was one of the best things we did for the place.


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

This thread is making me want to clean too...darn it!







And it also reminds me of that old saying..how does it go again? Something about killing more flies with honey than with vinegar....and I'm not referring to cleaning....


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

My house is still messy (and I must admit dirty too) but reading this thread is making me clean more

I have a pretty high tolerance myself so I don't notice too much about other people's houses. Or I just ignore it.

Though I'm getting much better about cleaning, I think you'll always be able to find some dust in my house


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## lovesdaffodils (Jul 11, 2007)

I too went and cleaned my bathroom while reading this thread.









Like most people said, clutter is okay, but true filth is not. I totally don't care about toys, stacks of papers, etc. And general dirty, like a few crumbs under the table, some dishes in the sink, laundry in a basket, etc, don't bother me one bit. If someone shows up at my house unannounced, they'll see that.









I have been in houses, though, with pet messes on the floor (that even after being told "Oh, your animal pooped here" the owner didn't clean it







). Days-old (or weeks) food and dishes in not only the kitchen, but living room and bedroom. Just literal trash thrown everywhere (and not in the "my baby ripped up paper" way). Basically, if it doesn't seem safe/healthy for my child to play and touch things in the house, that bothers me and we'll probably not go back.


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## thewaggonerfamily (Oct 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Megan~* 
How about I be polite and respond to you with a little dignity.

I'm well aware of the horrible state our planet is in. This is why I use all safe, biodegradeable cleaning products. This is why I do EC and cloth diapers. This is why I use reuseable menstrual products. This is why I use cloth towels instead of paper towels. This is why we buy organic. This is why we recycle. This is why we buy used things whenever possible.

I think my once weekly toilet scrubber puts me extremely low on my consumption and trash output compared to most other people.

But, really you'd reuse a container that had mold stains that wouldn't come out? (ETA: dh does the cleaning. I leave the room so I won't gag. Even if its stained he doesn't want to get rid of it though. He's the type to hold onto shirts that haven't fit him since 8th grade whereas I'd rather take them to the shelter or remake them into something else [I made a bunch of great baby lap Ts from his old shirts!]) I'd rather recycle it and let it be completely sanitized and used again. Good thing I keep my yogurt containers and glass jars so I have lots of reuseable containers and that I buy from companies that make their containers with reuse and recycling in mind.

Be careful with your assumptions and stone throwing.

I prefer to assume the best of people rather than jump to the worst possible conclusion.

I know lots of people that think cloth diapers are gross. I don't judge them, they handle what they can handle. Instead I focus my energy explaining where they can find non-toxic and biodegradeable disposable diapers. And helping them find where they can buy them in bulk to save money. That seems a lot better than calling them names or berating them so that not only is my cloth diaper message lost but so is my message of organics, reusing, recycling, and more.

We are all here on Mothering.com which is a website geared towards natural family living and attachment parenting. No one here is the perfect earth mother (you included I'm sure) but we do the best that we can and for each of us that is a different level.

Every good thing we do for our bodies and earth counts! Celebrate the good and encourage each other to do more.

















Oh, and I fit in with the messies and do lots good for the environment. But...one of the biggest breakthoughs for me and my enormous amout of clutter was finally allowing myself to throw. things. out. It was huge. Didn't matter that they were possibly useful. (That was my big hang up) But I won't acquire stuff like that again. (I also take garbage bags fill of stuff to Goodwill)


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

For me it depends on the person and the circumstances. For example, my friend just had a baby two weeks ago, if I went over to her house I would expect it to be messy probably with unwashed dishes and unvaccumed floors. If someone I knew had sick children or just had surgery I would expect their house to be messier and I would offer to help them clean it up since I understand where they are coming from. However, I have another friend whos children are all grown and whos husband is never home so if I went over to her house and it was messy it might be a little more icky for me because there is no reason really for the mess (and Id wonder what was wrong because her house is NEVER messy).

For me the big icky parts are:
large pieces of food stuck to places on the ground
moldy food on plates
grocery baskets full of trash (yes this has happened)
dirty underwear all over the place
cat/dog feces
vomit all over the place..
bloody bandages

Other than that I can handle pretty much anything. I have only been in probably three homes that made my stomach turn so I guess Im pretty laid back.. However, I don't think Ill be inviting any of you over too soon since I only vaccuum once a week and dinner dishes are rarely done before morning. My house would probably make your guys stomach turn even though I think its pretty clean.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littlemizflava* 
umm i live in a building and fruit flies show up even when there is not a fruit or veg in the house. its so weird they come from other apartments and u even see them in the halls at times.









Ugh, that sucks. I'd still have fly traps (apple cider vinegar and dish soap also works and might be cheaper) set out to catch them in my home. Oh, and I didn't mean like I see a couple flies and I freak out, I meant like people who don't seem to care about a cloud of them.


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## Max'sMama (Apr 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Changed* 
Question- if you had a friend
who's home was **so gross** that your children (in addition to you) weren't comfortable there, would you stop visiting?

Yes, I have one and the visits have ceased.

For me, the standards are:
If I feel the inexplicable NEED to clean to sit, stand, walk, or chat, it's too messy.

I can handle clutter. I can handle kid dirt. I can't handle adult lack of housekeeping. It makes me uncomfortable and itchy. I feel like homes that are icky are crawling with bugs and I have them on me. For days







.

I totally agree with the PP that talked about darkness and it making it worse.


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