# childless mothers on MDC?



## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

i know mothers day will be hard for us here but i am wondering if there are any childless mothers who have also suffered a loss? Milos was my first baby







and i hope there will be siblings for him but i am afraid! (05/19/09- I am going back and adding a positive for each negative comment about having another baby... I believe am going to have another birth baby!) and feeling extra sad as we approach this day designated to women who have been successful where i have not. i feel like a failure! because my arms feel truly empty, no toddler, no kid and i fear i am alone here...
i am 37 years old (i feel old! even though my husband tries to tell me over and over again that i am not too old to still have a child) and i wonder if i will ever hold my own squirmy little bundle of life?


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

Hi Abbey,

I'm so sorry about your Milos. I'm also a childless mother. Lachlan was my first baby. I never thought I'd be spending mother's day without Lachlan. It's so hard.


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## Tear78 (Nov 28, 2008)

I was just thinking about this, too. How am I supposed to get through this day that I was supposed to be blushing and celebrating with my newly expanding belly? This day was supposed to be for me, too, this year...finally. I will of course focus on my own wonderful mom, but it hurts in a raw place that I try to avoid now.







Thank you for verbalizing this so I don't feel so alone.


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## Sonnet (Mar 4, 2009)

This would have been my first Mother's Day as well. I was expecting to have just passed the three-month mark, to be beginning to show on Mother's Day. I'm a couple of years older than you are, Abbey, so I understand the worry: will it ever happen for me? Will I have the courage to try again, or will I let fear deter me?

I don't know. And I'm fairly sure that my husband, bless him, as wonderful and considerate as he is, isn't really going to make the connection this Sunday and realize that it should be _my_ day, too.























: *<----------- Childless Mamas*


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

Childless mothers has kind of a harsh ring to it, can we come up with another catch, we could make if uber technical or super newagey, but just the term "childless mother" is enough to make me want to cry.


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## Sonnet (Mar 4, 2009)

I guess I'm one for speaking harsh truths; the harshness of the term conveys a little bit of how hard it is on us.


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

I should be rubbing my big 30 week belly on Mother's Day. Instead I'm waiting to O.


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## *Jade* (Mar 13, 2007)

Yep, I would have loved to celebrate my first Mothers Day, I should be 10 weeks pregnant. Instead I'm coping with clomid hot flushes, taking anti-depressants, and getting annoyed at people who seem to think this is a PERFECT time for me to start a business, doing therapy nonetheless!


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

me! it sucks







joslyn was my very first pregnancy and she passed at 22 weeks. it is so hard. we had a chemical 2 weeks ago and that was just ughhhhhhh. mothers day-i really hope my hubby recognizes and celebrates it with me. i AM a mother! period.
waking up in the middle of the night to feed-hard. working on no sleep while taking care of your baby-rough. worrying about baby being sick-terrifying. but waking up everyday with no bundle whatsoever-absolutely sickeningly devastating.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for each of you. Everyone here will be in my thoughts even more on Sunday.


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## Tear78 (Nov 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jess_paez* 
but waking up everyday with no bundle whatsoever-absolutely sickeningly devastating.
















yeah, right on target.


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## MommaSomeday (Nov 29, 2006)

Add me to the list. Gideon was our first, and Butterball would have been our second. I told Garrin the other day that I simply want to hide on Mother's Day because first I was supposed to be out showing off my baby boy. Then, I at least was going to have the consolation of starting to show a bit and carrying his little sister or brother. Now, I am totally empty. It's hard, and it hurts. I keep trying to think of last Mother's Day - when my sister and I both tried to hug over our expanding bellies and I felt little kicks and punches from the littlest boy all day - as my first Mother's Day. Sunday will just be another day, I hope.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I'm so sorry with all of you. It's VERY tough..


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## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

i am simultaneously glad and sad you are all here with me... i can't sleep tonight i think because i've been self medicating with chocolate and it's keeping me up!
or it could be the endless thoughts running through my head... the future, the past, the future, the baby i've lost, the babies i might have, the babies i might never have, the baby i've lost, on and on, over and over again, it's a metronome back and forth between the two!







:
(05/19/09- I am going back and adding a positive for each negative comment about having another baby... I believe am going to have another birth baby!)
puts me between a rock and a hard place because neither one is within my control.
am i making sense? maybe you childless moms here understand? anyway i wanted to write before DH and i take off tomorrow early for an overnight trip to escape Mothers day, i feel a little guilty for not spending it with my mom since she has her own g'ma pain but i need to be somewhere with distractions and hopefully room service for breakfast Sunday morning! So in case i can't log on i'll be thinking of all and sending loving thoughts


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I totally understand you. I also find it hard to sleep with all the thoughts running through my head, of what could of been, and what may be in the future, trying to plan out possible happy futures, and going back to Lachlan, remembering being pregnant etc etc.

I hope you have a peaceful Mother's day with your DH.


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## mischievium (Feb 9, 2003)

Soren would have been six weeks old exactly on Mother's Day.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AbbeyWH* 
or it could be the endless thoughts running through my head... the future, the past, the future, the baby i've lost, the babies i might have, the babies i might never have, the baby i've lost, on and on, over and over again, it's a metronome back and forth between the two!







:

These thoughts circulate in my head as well. It can be crazymaking







.


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## mischievium (Feb 9, 2003)

Tomorrow, Mother's Day, makes me want to lock myself in a dark room and sing, at the top of my lungs, the old spiritual "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child," only with the words "Sometimes I Feel Like a Childless Mother."


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## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

thank you so much for that Mahalia Jackson clip, really beautiful!
and right up my alley
she was a powerful and beautiful woman
DH and i considered the name Mahalia for a girl...


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Don't you just want to put your head in her lap?

I could listen to her sing forever.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I have two children but they are not mine biologically, so yes, I guess, biologically speaking I am childless. BUT I am pregnant and hopefully bean will make it, so perhaps not for long









It's amazing how many women there are here who have lost their very first child. It's sad but somehow you don't feel as alone.

*HUGE hugs* XXX


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## MarilynP (Nov 25, 2008)

my hubby was so sweet, on Mother's day he wished me a Happy Mother's day for Noah and Katelyn and said they were up in heaven smiling down on me...


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