# Sleep issues...won't nap unless being held



## xtara2003x (Sep 25, 2006)

Alright...I'm not sure how much I can take right now!!!







: My DD was born on April 5, '07, so she's almost 3 months old. She WILL NOT sleep unless she's being held or unless I'm sleeping next to her and nursing her down to sleep at night. She sleeps GREAT at night time. SHe usually goes down to sleep around 8-9pm, and she'll sleep until 6-7am, waking up 2-3 times a night to nurse. Since we co sleep....I just pop a boob in her mouth and she goes right back to sleep. It's this nap time thing that I'm having issues with.

I would LIKE to be able to get stuff done!! I wear her in my moby wrap all the time, and she'll fall asleep in the car, but she will NOT let us put her down. Once and a while we'll be able to put her to sleep and she'll surprise us and sleep a few hours, but most of the time she needs to be held while she takes her naps. I've tried laying down with her during the day, nursing her to sleep, and then sneaking out of bed, but she'll only stay sleeping for like 15 minutes or so. Once and a while she'll sleep for an hour here or there...but not usually. I'm just getting stressed. I'm not one to let her cry it out...but I'm just getting sooo desperate!! HELP!!


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## quietserena (Apr 24, 2006)

Mine was like that well into the 7th month. It's really normal - babies love their mommas.








Not that it's easy but they do grow out of it. Now I nurse and rock DD to sleep and set her down, nurse a few more minutes and I can sneak away.

I pretty much adopted the continuum concept style there - DD got put in a sling of some sort and I go about my business. Now that she stands on her own, I stand her up by the washer, by the dishwasher, wherever I am. I still don't get very much done, but in bursts here and there I can maintain some semblance of order.


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## TypingMJ (Nov 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *quietserena* 
Mine was like that well into the 7th month. It's really normal - babies love their mommas.








Not that it's easy but they do grow out of it. Now I nurse and rock DD to sleep and set her down, nurse a few more minutes and I can sneak away.

I pretty much adopted the continuum concept style there - DD got put in a sling of some sort and I go about my business. Now that she stands on her own, I stand her up by the washer, by the dishwasher, wherever I am. I still don't get very much done, but in bursts here and there I can maintain some semblance of order.









:

If she'll sleep in the moby wrap, why do you need to put her down? If you're not going to be doing anything dangerous, there's nothing wrong with wearing her as long as she wants to be worn. When my son was that age I got a lot more done around the house than I do now, mostly because he was willing to sleep in the mei tai most of the day. I wish he'd do it now


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## acupuncturemomma (Dec 31, 2005)

sorry--no advice here! we're into 10+ months with the same situation. and my dd will *never* sleep in the car...hates the car.

you're not alone. i think it's common and normal.


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## bohemama (Jan 29, 2005)

I think that what she is doing is totally normal.

Having said that, I'll tell you what worked for us (most of the time). When DD2 was about 9 weeks old someone gave me a boppy as a gift. One time I laid her in it after she was sleeping and I guess something about the incline and the cuddling from the pillow kept her asleep. It didn't work every time I put her in it, but it did work the majority of times. I do know that the boppy warns against letting a baby sleep in the pillow, but, I was willing to take the chance as we have a pretty small home and it was easy for me to check on her every few minutes. She would also sleep in this for a few hours some evenings until I went to bed so I could spend quality time with DD1 and DH. DD2 doesn't really like to sleep while I'm wearing her. She'd much rather watch all the interesting things going on around her.

Now at 9 months we're having a harder time with naps and I just lay down with her until she's done. Not the most productive time during my day, sure. I just try to remember that this time will be over soon and she'll be a big girl just like my 6y/o and I'll have to catch her as she runs by me to get snuggles


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## lizabird (Jan 19, 2004)

I have had this issue a lot too, baby won't seem to sleep long unless being held and then I get nothing done. So, well, I changed my expectations so that I never actually expected to get anything done, ever. That helped (except that I never get anything done...), and when I do get a few things done, I am very happy. My 2 ds slept a lot in the sling when they were very young and I just learned to get things done with baby in sling. DS2 takes more naps on his own andthat's useful. I guess it's mostly a difference in personalities between kids.


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## wendylady (Jun 14, 2006)

As people said, it WILL pass. As they get older their nap sleep becomes deeper and depper. So you might just have to wait until your baby is ready and wear her or get some books and snuggle with her in bed. But, you can also try a few things. If you haven't already, you can try room darkening curtains or blinds and white noise. You can also lay down a pillow next to your baby in the place that you were lying -- gives the illusion that your body is still there. You can even wrap that pillow in one of your shirts so the baby can smell you.


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## bohemama (Jan 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lizabird* 
*snip* So, well, I changed my expectations so that I never actually expected to get anything done, ever. That helped (except that I never get anything done...), and when I do get a few things done, I am very happy. *snip*


I just wanted to add







: it has really helped to change my expectations. Once I decided to change my life to fit dd's instead of the other way around things have been much easier!


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## bellymama (Apr 15, 2007)

my ds is 6 mo. and he still just naps in his wrap. i get a lot of stuff done like that, or i welcome the time to just relax. this time is short. soon he won't want to do that. try to enjoy the closeness. i know its hard...sometimes i just want a minute to myself.
good luck mama!


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## Mama2Bean (Mar 20, 2007)

my dd is another who only naps w/me. if i try to nurse down and leave, the most she'll do is thirty mins. when I changed my expectations, I chilled out. I just accepted the while she naps I take a break, unless she's napping in the sling. Mostly she naps after nursing on the boppy or in my arms. in fact, for the first three months of her life she was an "in arms" babe, never wanting to be put down. that's just her style.









at least me taking a break during the day (or two) means I can sleep or just space out and it really helps my fatigue. of course, she is my only, so i can do this w/no problem.

good luck, mama


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## lotus.blossom (Mar 1, 2005)

I had the same situation with my son. When I put him down for a nap or for bed (earlier than I went to bed) he would startle himself awake within 10-15 minutes. I learned to just let him sleep on me and eventually once he hit 7 months or so he slept longer stretches. He's 11 months now and a great napper and goes down great in his crib at night till I go to bed, then he comes into bed with us. I'm hopeful that yours will outgrow this light sleep stage. Enjoy the time that your baby sleeps on you. I miss it. He never nurses to sleep anymore and is too busy running everywhere to hang out with me!


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

Xtara, I can tell you have been busy by your signature line!









My daughter was just like that until she was well into her twos. I could not even imagine all those other moms talking about how they would read, do laundry, make phone calls, etc. while their child napped. My dd would not go in a carrier or sling, either, and the holder had to be perfectly still.

In our case, the situation was so dramatic that we just surrendered. Once I let go of the expectation that I would be able to get things done during her naps, I felt so much more relaxed.

On the plus side, she is now very bright and sensitive and kind. I sit on the floor hold her until she falls asleep on her own toddler bed right next to ours. She sleeps through the night and rarely wakes up. She's almost six years old.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gsmama2* 
I just wanted to add







: it has really helped to change my expectations. Once I decided to change my life to fit dd's instead of the other way around things have been much easier!

I was just going to post about lowering expectations. Your baby is only 3 months old and if she's sleeping great at night then you're in good shape already! I know it's not what you want to hear, but this too shall pass. A few years from now you'll be chasing her crazy butt all over creation thinking back longingly to the days she would only sleep on you! Soak it up...it's a beautiful thing!


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## RoundAbout (Aug 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lizabird* 
I have had this issue a lot too, baby won't seem to sleep long unless being held and then I get nothing done. So, well, I changed my expectations so that I never actually expected to get anything done, ever.









:

This is my life! I just make sure I have a stack of magazines on the couch and the TV remotes handy.

My son is 6 months and I am still holding him for all of his naps! However, 3 times this week I have been able to get him down for about 45 minutes while bouncing on the yoga ball, so I hope a change is coming soon.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Ummm yeah, why do you think my post count is so high, I've had two DD's that only nap while being held.







DD1 eventually grew out of it, I remember feeling very frustrated when she was a baby and wanting to do stuff. Then I just embraced it as MY time, I can hang out on the computer, read a book, watch a movie... I took lots of nap with DD1 when she was a baby. It's much more challenging with DD2 since DD1 exists. I love it now, they are only little for short a short time and housework will always be there.


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## Anny (Apr 7, 2007)

I am having the exact same problems with my 5 month old DD. I love LOVE love holding her for her sleeps, and sure don't want to stop any time soon, but it's nearly impossible with my very busy, very active, very LOUD 4 year old DS !
I feel that by giving my DD all she needs at the moment, my DS is missing out. He won't sit quietly by my side while I nurse her, so reading and stuff is out. The TV is getting a work out which I hate, but I can't seem to find any other way!

Sorry to hijack your thread! Just wanted to say, oh, keep nursing your baby for naps, specially if she is your only, when (if) you have another one, it's SO much harder and I yearn for the days of only one!
Anny


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## bdoody11 (Aug 16, 2005)

I have a babe that loves to sleep in arms (she will sleep in her swing or bouncy seat, but that is 30 minutes, max.). Like others I've now embraced her naps as my time to watch TV, sleep, or read.

Yesterday I was desperate for a nap. I thought, "oh goody, I'll nurse her down and we'll both sleep". Wrong! She wouldn't nap for the life of her and I got to stay up all afternoon.







:

My point is, children are unpredictable and just when you think you know their patterns they change. You're babe will sleep out of arms someday. My way of coping is to look at my DD and say to myself, she'll never be 20 weeks ever again (or whatever age she currently is). It helps to remind me that these moments are fleeting and that I should try to appreciate her babyhood as it is slipping by so quickly. That exercise has really gotten me through some tough times, I just feel so blessed when I completely focus on DD.


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## MommytoHHH (Sep 12, 2006)

My DD didn't start sleeping on her own for naps until 6-7 months. Now she naps better on the bed (or with me sleeping next to her) - not sleeping in my arms on the couch like she used to. I also had to change my expectations about how I'd get things done, but really, with a little reorganizing, I was able to keep up with most things. Enjoy your little one while she needs you and wants to cuddle


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

It's normal, my DD is 15 months & I hold her for naps alot still.


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