# What do you think about barefoot children, especially toddlers?



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm big on letting my kids go barefoot, if they want to. Obviously, that doesn't apply if we're going for a long walk in the snow, or the pavement is burning hot, or there's broken glass all over the place. Generally speaking, though, I let my kids call the shots on whether or not they want to be barefoot (I won't force that on an establishment that doesn't allow it, though - not a fight I want to have). I think it's better for their feet, joints, etc. and I also think they're better judges of their own comfort than I am. I simply don't worry about the possibility of broken glass, sharp objects, etc. if there's no particular reason to worry about that in a specific location.

So, what's your take?


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## pacificbliss (Jun 17, 2006)

My kids are barefoot a lot. Outside they generally have shoes on but not always if we're just playing in the front yard or at the park. I am frequently barefoot myself


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

At home, sure if they want to. Beach. But not in teh yard. We have cats, raoons come to visits and it can get gross. The street is just not safe beacuse of possibale glass, nails etc


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Thanks for the responses - that was quick!

My kids are mostly barefoot in the house or in our townhouse complex - sidewalks and the playground. We've been here six years, and I've never seen any animal feces, nails, etc. There was broken glass once, when ds2 smashed a glass, and it was promptly cleaned up. I'm generally either barefoot or in socks myself, even outside (unless it's raining, which is fairly frequently).

The reason I asked is that I had a bizarrely hostile encounter with a neighbour, who told me she was going to report me to CPS, because dd2 was walking down the sidewalk barefoot. I'm still kind of blown away, and it was two days ago. I have no idea if she actually reported me or not, though.


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## APToddlerMama (Oct 5, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
> 
> The reason I asked is that I had a bizarrely hostile encounter with a neighbour, who told me she was going to report me to CPS, because dd2 was walking down the sidewalk barefoot. I'm still kind of blown away, and it was two days ago. I have no idea if she actually reported me or not, though.


Tell her to call away. CPS will laugh in her face. As for no shoes...I mostly do not allow this because DS is not vaccinated and I don't want him to step on something where he'll need a tetanus shot. We've found broken glass, a couple of rusted nails, and random scrap metal around our house and yard. I do let him do it places I know are safe like my parents fenced in yard even though they have a dog.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

My 3yo is barefooted more often than other children his age. My 5 yo prefers his foot attire.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

My older kids choose to wear shoes but my toddler is almost always barefoot (and usually naked too). He won't keep anything on and, if I don't have to, I don't bother with the fight over it.


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## grumpybear (Oct 5, 2006)

Only in the house or in our yard, occasionally. At the beach- with due caution as I have seen broken glass at the beach.

Though being barefoot is not so much something we do as a family, I see it more as a lifestyle choice rather than a sign of neglect. I think CPS has better things to do than investigate the families of barefoot children across the US.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *grumpybear*
> 
> Only in the house or in our yard, occasionally. At the beach- with due caution as I have seen broken glass at the beach.
> 
> Though being barefoot is not so much something we do as a family, I see it more as a lifestyle choice rather than a sign of neglect. I think CPS has better things to do than investigate the families of barefoot children across the US.


I'm actually in Canada (and it's not called CPS here, but I never remember what it is called, and everybody knows what CPS means, yk?). I'm not worried about them showing up here. I have nothing to hide...although I would prefer that we've finished our bedroom move by then, as things are quite chaotic upstairs right now!

I really don't think CPS would take this very seriously. My sister had a call a couple years ago, and the subject of shoes came up, and the social worker told her, flat out, that if her son wouldn't wear shoes, it wasn't a big deal. She was just advised to keep shoes with her, in case of unexpected rough ground, glass, etc.

I'm just boggled that the whole thing became such a heated, ridiculous issue. She told me dd2 needed shoes. I told her my kids are allowed to go barefoot if they want, and she just laced into me. I've only ever talked to this woman once before, and that was about a year ago. (She was lacing into me that time, too, over something ds2 had done. What he'd done wasn't okay, and I was already dealing with it, and she just kept getting at me about it not being okay, and I just kept agreeing with her. It was weird.) We definitely have a personality conflict.


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## Deepfeet (Nov 19, 2010)

Personality conflict and, also, maybe this here neighbor has a little too much time on her hands. Some people are convinced they'd just be better mothers, raise better children, make better decisions. *UGH*

Hang in there!

P.S. Barefoot is the way to be!!


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

Your neighbour sounds nutty! It's not like you don't have shoes available... my kids don't go barefoot outside much because they just don't like it, but I would allow it on our sidewalks and in our yard for sure.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Deepfeet*
> 
> Personality conflict and, also, maybe this here neighbor has a little too much time on her hands. Some people are convinced they'd just be better mothers, raise better children, make better decisions. *UGH*
> 
> ...


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Your neighbor sounds a little off the rails. CPS might be concerned if you refused to let your children to have access to shoes at all, but since they own shoes and just choose not to wear them sometimes, in situations you deem safe, I agree with the other poster who said CPS would laugh at receiving such a phone call.

To answer your original question, yes I let my kids go barefoot. They play in the yard with no shoes a lot, although if they start riding scooters I do ask them to put shoes on (too many toes have been run over otherwise). If they wear sandals to the park the first thing they do is take their shoes off, which I completely understand -- sandals full of sand are uncomfortable. If they wear shoes and socks to the park, they typically leave them on, which doesn't seem to bother them even though those shoes get full of sand too. But I've seen other parents at the park be really concerned about shoe wearing before. I remember once on a day when my kids happened to have on shoes/socks, another mom was letting her kids go barefoot and a third mom quietly tsk-tsked to me about it. I just gave a noncommittal shrug, but was inwardly laughing, thinking how on another day she could be tsk-tsking about me.


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## starling&diesel (Nov 24, 2007)

I think your neighbour needs to slug back some Rescue Remedy in a nice glass of wine, get a massage, and generally chill out. How presumptuous of her, and how judgmental. If she calls McFamilies (Ministry of Children and Families) I'm pretty sure they'd say, "Thank you for your concern, Ma'am," and pretend to write your details down, then hang up the phone and roll their eyes and tell their colleagues that some people just have way too much time on their hands.

As for bare feet, my 2.5yo dd is often barefoot, and I allow it pretty much everywhere except stores, restaurants, alleys and roads, and particularly nasty sidewalks (ie. Hastings and Main).


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## simplemama32 (Jul 16, 2009)

That is bizarre. My 3 yo is barefoot much of the time, unless it isn't safe as other pp's mentioned. He actually drives his daycare teacher batty because he constantly rips off his shoes and socks when the kids are inside.  (She doesn't have a problem with the fact that he's barefoot, btw...it's just because she then has to track down his shoes and socks.)

It sounds like your neighbor is just "that" kind of person. Sorry you have to deal with her!


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Yes, my kids, including the toddler, are sometimes barefoot if they want to be. Not a big deal. I don't understand your neighbor's thinking.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I suspect my neighbour's issues are partly because of ds2. He has some behavioural issues that we're having a lot of trouble dealing with. I've wondered if he's on the autism spectrum, or has SPD, or something like that. The ped he saw a week ago tentatively diagnosed ADD and ODD. Whatever's going on with him, it's really hard to deal with. I know, just from listening to them, that some of my neighbours (including this woman's next door neighbour) are convinced that I'm just a generally crappy parent, and if I'd just deal with him "properly", his issues would disappear. Of course, they think ds1 and dd1 are just awesome kids, but that's apparently good luck, not good parenting (I actually think I've had a lot of good luck with all my kids, including ds2, and I don't think I'm a fabulous parent - but I'm not a terrible one, either.) I'm pretty sure they think I'm being negligent by homeschooling, as well. So, the shoes is probably just the final straw...or something like that.

Anyway, thank you all. This is the kind of thing that makes me go "is this really that extreme??". But, except for a couple of the neighbours (the next-door one has brought it up a few times, but she does it very differently - frustrating, in some ways, but not so confrontational), everybody I've talked to thinks this is over the top. I am guilty of not being very polite to her, and I don't feel great about it, but I was just frustrated...both my DDs were upset, and she just kept yammering at me...

ETA: Somebody upthread mentioned a scooter. My kids also have to wear shoes if they're bike riding, as I know they can hurt their feet badly if they scrape.

I have a local friend who's a major barefoot enthusiast - much more than me! - and my petty side is tempted to invite her and her kids to come by and play with my kids in the playground every day for a week...


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Pfft. This is New Zealand, and going barefoot is totally standard. At school, I was the only kid in my class who didn't strip off shoes and socks immediately upon arriving and leave them off all day.

I do try to keep DD in socks or slippers when it's cold, but... well, right now we're both barefoot and it is cold. She's not too keen on slippers.


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## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

A total judgement call thing, in my opinion. Obviously DD wears shoes walking around the city streets...too much trash and animal poop...but the first chance I see where we can go barefoot - we do it! It is a big contention with DH, since he believes that people should wear slippers at home...but barefoot to me means total relaxation and freedom! Again, you choose your battles and battles are based on subjective situations.

FYI: my grandmother and mother (we're talking early 20th to mid-20th century here) had a mortal fear of bare-footing. They believed that there were special worms that could enter one's feet. I'm not sure what science that was based upon and they were in area that was mostly rural. They also feared random child abductions and other things that happen to small percentages of the population. I love them dearly but their fears were based on random stories and not on subjective judgments. Not that my personal thoughts matter.


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## mamacolleen (Dec 16, 2009)

DD (2yo) is barefoot a fair bit. We're always barefoot in the house (if it's winter we often wear slippers) and she's been showing a preference for being barefoot out of the house as well. The only places I insist are in stores, restaurants, etc because it's their rules not mine and our backyard because after a year of ongoing renovations and still in the middle of them, I know there's a high likelihood of nails, etc back there. But outside anywhere else is fair game. I've seen a lot of parents at our neighbourhood parks insist their kids wear shoes while playing at the playground and I've never really understood why. I think overall barefoot at this age is better for her muscle/bone structure development.


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

we live in a busy apartment complex, the road between parking lots is at our front door, with a small sidewalk in between. too much stuff on the ground, so i had to convince my girl to wear shoes early on. she fought it, got a few little cuts and scrapes, then she decided to wear flip-flops. i make sure she plays out back in the big yard with her shoes off sometimes, we wiggle our toes in the grass, feels great and is very grounding. she also has to wear sneakers for bike riding and tree climbing, never argues with me about that. we're both barefoot hillbillies whenever we can be!


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

When I was a kid, I went barefoot all summer every summer.

However, we lived on a rural commune and the places we walked and played were largely free of dangerous stuff. (even so, there were plenty of bee stings and sprained toes, and one of my classmates did step on a nail that went right through his foot)

My kids need to at least wear flip flops when they're outside. We live in town, dh, is working on our house (thus occasionally screws, nails, and other stuff end up in the grass). Also, in dh's country there is something in the soil that causes elephantiasis--severe and permanent disfigurement of the feet and lower legs.  It is truly horrific, and he was a health worker dealin with people who had it, so he saw the worst of the worst. He is not comfortable with our children going barefoot, even though he knows rationally that the soil here is different. He'd rather they get used to putting something on their feet when going outside, and I have no real desire to battle him on that. It's not an issue worth a battle, to me.


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

My 5 yr. old and 1 yr. old are usually barefoot in the house and outside. I make my 5 yr. old wear shoes inside stores and so forth, and put them on my toddler if she is walking, but not if I am wearing her or putting her in a cart or stroller. My 8 yr. old wears shoes unless he's in our house or yard. He doesn't hate them like his little brother.

There are worms that enter the body through feet that were a big problem in the south before modern plumbing. I don't think that's a real concern anymore.


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## seaheroine (Dec 24, 2004)

How bizarre.







Your neighbor needs to mind her own business! How irritating.

Both my kiddos are barefoot all the time at home. If we go out in the world, they wear shoes, but it definitely isn't their favorite.
I remember always being barefoot as a kid. It's just crazy that your neighbor would take issue with that in a situation you've deemed acceptable for little feet.

I hope she stops harassing you!


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## SuburbanHippie (Aug 29, 2008)

As long as the temperature is okay, I don't see a problem with it. I have considered calling CPS before though on our neighbors that let their children run around in 35-40 degree weather in pjs, barefoot, with an unzipped winter jacket completely unsupervised (ages 3, 4, & 5).


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## Shannie77 (Jan 16, 2007)

We don't wear shoes in the house at all. As for going outside, my 4 year old DD is mostly barefoot when she is playing on our street. I don't have a problem with it and she is most comfortable that way. What does bother me is the mothers of the other kids she plays with telling my DD to put her shoes on. I have found myself trying to get DD to wear shoes because of that... but actually after reading this thread I feel more confident with our choice.


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## brackin (Sep 19, 2005)

My children run around barefoot most of the time. But my toddler...I can hardly stand that he's roughing up those sweet, smooth, fat feet, kwim?


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## hjdmom24 (Mar 1, 2008)

As a child my mom was militant about us wearing shoes because she did experience a nail in the foot as a child. Now my kids and I go barefoot most of the time at home and at parks and the toddler is barefoot and naked most of the time (although he has finally learned to put clothes on to go outside)  My kids only put shoes on if we are going somewhere where they are required..we once got yelled at in a store because my then 13mo didn't have shoes on and was walking around the store..I didn't even own shoes for him at that point. My oldest son is soon to be 13 and 2 months ago was the first time we ever had any semi serious type problem from being barefoot. My 2 year old did get something in his foot and it went unnoticed until he had an infection...he wouldn't let me near it but a quick trip to the Dr. to have it lanced and drained was all that was needed. He and his foot are all healed up and he still has no interest in wearing shoes. When that happened a friend said to me "now you will start making sure they wear their shoes"...I laughed and thought why? There are calculated risks in everything we do and one little incident in 13 years doesn't seem to risky to me..plus I don't think I could give up the freedom of being barefoot, I wear flip flops until there is more then a few inches of snow on the ground..my fat feet don't like shoes!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *hjdmom24*
> 
> As a child my mom was militant about us wearing shoes because she did experience a nail in the foot as a child. \\
> 
> ...


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *CatsCradle*
> 
> FYI: my grandmother and mother (we're talking early 20th to mid-20th century here) had a mortal fear of bare-footing. They believed that there were special worms that could enter one's feet. I'm not sure what science that was based upon and they were in area that was mostly rural.


Hookworm can be acquired that way, but it's rare these days in North America.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

My younger daughter and I will walk around the neighborhood barefoot sometimes. I think sometimes people get really attached to their ways of doing things, and have this knee-jerk negative reaction to behaviors others think are good that they just KNOW are bad. My mom can be that way, and the amount of hyperbole she used in describing herself and her behaviors compared to our behaviors, wow. Like she gave her babies baths every night and had them in bed by 6 pm, and if you didn't do that, well, that is just child abuse, plain and simple. There were many times she voiced her opinion on when social services should be called, but it was all just talk, a way to show how outrageous she found my sister's way of raising children to be. I was more shielded from this as I had moved away by the time I had children, but we'd always call her out on it anyway (like, at least we didn't smoke around our babies, at least we don't chase our toddlers with the belt, etc.). If it was a stranger, I am not sure what I'd do, if I'd ignore it or acknowledge it in anyway.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *limabean*
> 
> Hookworm can be acquired that way, but it's rare these days in North America.


Oh yeah, after I learned about hookworms from an 8th grade science teacher who described the process, I stopped going barefoot outside for awhile, except on the sidewalk. But I was paranoid about walking on the grass until I realized that wasn't a problem.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *limabean*
> 
> Hookworm can be acquired that way, but it's rare these days in North America.


Yeah, my dad and grandparents were fearful of hookworm (I grew up in the tropics), and my parents discouraged me from going barefoot. Additionally, the Asian custom of not wearing shoes in the house comes from not wanting to track in dirt....so it makes little sense to go barefoot, get your feet all dirty, and then walk inside. On the rare occasions that I did go barefoot, my parents would pitch a fit and make me scrub my feet under the garden hose before I could come in. The dirt in Hawaii is rusty colored and stains like crazy. So I guess wearing some sort of footwear is just something ingrained in me.

My kids rarely go barefoot (it's cold for much of the year here, and we live in the city), but they've still managed to step on bees here and there. No glass or nails yet, though.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

In my experience, some folks are very judgmental of parents with "large families" (which, in our culture, often means more than two or three kids) and extremely judgmental of homeschooling parents (I actually mean mothers and not parents, 'cause it just seems to me that most of the judgment is directed at the moms). And, if a family has more than two or three kids and homeschools, it seems like the moms need to have a nearly godlike or Martha Stewart-like (minus the felony conviction) aura for people to see her as "qualified" to live her life in the way in which she is choosing to live it.

I just have two children, but I have definitely gotten some flack for homeschooling, simply because I don't come across (and certainly am nothing like) the god/Martha Stewart hybrid that some people insist you have to be before you can dare to actually keep your school-aged kids with you all day. My sister, who actually did call CPS on me a few years back, once told me that, to homeschool, you had to be really super-organized in order to keep on top of everything. She said she wasn't qualified to do it, so, I guess in her eyes, most of us mere mortals were/are most certainly not even in the ballpark of qualifying.

I think it's people like that who are so intent on verbally duking-it-out with anyone who is doing something that they themselves don't feel capable of doing. I don't mean just the people who say, "I could never handle having so many kids" or "I could never handle homeschooling," and certainly not the ones who choose not to do so either of these things -- but the ones who simply can't. stand. the idea that some other mom is doing this THING that they don't feel up to doing themselves, and this other mom actually has the GALL to appear to be, for the most part, enjoying her life and enjoying her kids -- you know, not totally stressed out and acting like a drill sergeant, all hyped up about keeping everybody on target.

Oh, and, yes, my girls and I are always barefoot in the house and sometimes outdoors, too. I agree with the others who say that CPS has other fish to fry.

I'm glad you shared this, cappuccinosmom:

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cappuccinosmom*
> 
> Also, in dh's country there is something in the soil that causes elephantiasis--severe and permanent disfigurement of the feet and lower legs.  It is truly horrific, and he was a health worker dealin with people who had it, so he saw the worst of the worst. He is not comfortable with our children going barefoot, even though he knows rationally that the soil here is different. He'd rather they get used to putting something on their feet when going outside, and I have no real desire to battle him on that. It's not an issue worth a battle, to me.


We have some neighbors who are from another part of the world, and, a few years back, their teen daughter told dd1 that she and dd2 were going to be sick if they kept playing in the mud. She commented that everytime she came to our house, she got sick. I was never sure just what this was all about, but it seemed to me that they were trying to trash-talk us to their kids (and inadvertently to our own children, too, through their teenaged mouthpiece) because their younger children were always wanting, so badly, to come over and join our girls in their little pool. They sometimes let them come over, but would get all upset if any of them got wet or dirty.

I suppose there might be some bad diseases in the soil of their homeland, too. So maybe they weren't just trying to persuade their kids not to get dirty...maybe they really thought we were courting some horrible plague.


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

DS goes barefoot all the time. As do I. Especially when around the house, the yard, or in a big grassy park.


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## grumpybear (Oct 5, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mammal_mama*
> 
> We have some neighbors who are from another part of the world, and, a few years back, their teen daughter told dd1 that she and dd2 were going to be sick if they kept playing in the mud. She commented that everytime she came to our house, she got sick. I was never sure just what this was all about, but it seemed to me that they were trying to trash-talk us to their kids (and inadvertently to our own children, too, through their teenaged mouthpiece) because their younger children were always wanting, so badly, to come over and join our girls in their little pool. They sometimes let them come over, but would get all upset if any of them got wet or dirty.
> 
> I suppose there might be some bad diseases in the soil of their homeland, too. So maybe they weren't just trying to persuade their kids not to get dirty...maybe they really thought we were courting some horrible plague.


I can somehow relate to this mortal fear of soil or dirt or being dirty as I grew up in a different culture and environment as well. It really took me a while to not get squeamish about DH going barefoot in the yard and has taken me longer to actually allow my kids to do the same. And yes, I have visions of hookworm entering our bodies through our feet still. LOL


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

My kids are barefoot at home (inside and out) always...


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## beenmum (Nov 29, 2010)

My DD1 who has autism was always w/o shoes.

So long as his foot has good arches, then its all good. The thing to avoid is flip flops. They will encourage horrible walking patterns and foot development.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *beenmum*
> 
> My DD1 who has autism was always w/o shoes.
> 
> So long as his foot has good arches, then its all good. The thing to avoid is flip flops. They will encourage horrible walking patterns and foot development.


I think I've worn flip-flops about a dozen times in my entire life, and none of my kids (except ds1, who is old enough to buy his own clothes) even owns them. I don't like those things. DS1 and I basically wear them when we go to the outdoor pool in the complex, so that we don't have to walk back with wet bare feet, as they pick up bits of dirt and grit.

I told another friend about this. She lives in this complex (but she's a friend from before either of us lived here). She asked me which neighbour it was, and then said, "oh, the one with the two dog? She's nuts!". DS1's ex-girlfriend's mom said the same thing. I've had very minimal contact with the neighbour in question, but it seems I'm not the only one who has trouble dealing with her.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I'd just chalk it up to the fact she is nuts.







DD1 and I both strongly dislike shoes, we tend to only wear shoes that we can kick off the second we are able to, clogs in the winter and the dreaded flip flops in the summer (we both adore them). Never anything that tie unless we really have to! We don't run around barefoot outside our house because we have massive pine trees everywhere, needles in the feet aren't exactly comfortable. At the parks we do though. DD2 doesn't have quite the shoe hatred DD1 does, but she tend to take them off often. DS has to wear orthotics and must wear shoes, always sneakers, most of the day. I honestly feel so sorry for him, I can't imagine being stuck in shoes that much.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *beenmum*
> 
> My DD1 who has autism was always w/o shoes.
> 
> So long as his foot has good arches, then its all good. The thing to avoid is flip flops. They will encourage horrible walking patterns and foot development.


I hear that every so often. I grew up wearing almost nothing but flip-flops. I don't even think I owned a pair of closed-toed shoes until I was 10 or 11 years old. My mom's been wearing them since she landed in Honolulu in 1972....she hates the confined feeling of shoes. My friends and family in Hawaii all seem to walk okay, so I'm not sure what the deal is.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

storm bride with the back history you said and the attitude of the person do you think she chose this issue because it was one she could possibly attack you on. anything else perhaps she couldnt yell at you or figure out how to tell you off, so chose the shoe issue.

dd was a sensation craver. so no shoes till she started K. even today at almost 9, she takes off her shoes as often as she can. as a toddler and pser she walked everywhere barefoot and learnt how to avoid glass. in fact i guess her sole got so strong that she could walk on glass without it piercing her skin or hurting her. she walked on bark, railway rocks and shingles. the only time she got a splinter was years later while wearing shoes.

dd only wore shoes when she had to. like the local grocery store was fine with her going barefoot, but the chain wasnt. one public library allowed barefoot, others didnt.


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

re: flip-flops ... my girl is just like me, half flatfoot, for some reason flip-flops are the most comfortable choice for both of us. she learned to walk wearing Robeez or barefoot, though. i wear flat sandals with either a toe post or toe ring. my feet are the one part of my body that doesn't hurt, oddly!

why oh why do Robeez only go up to 4 years?? i want them in my size, too! lotsa mocs on the market but none so cute.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> storm bride with the back history you said and the attitude of the person do you think she chose this issue because it was one she could possibly attack you on. anything else perhaps she couldnt yell at you or figure out how to tell you off, so chose the shoe issue.


I agree with this. With what you've talked in the past with issues you've had that could be seen on the outside as not a good situation (kids getting away from you, riding near interstates, getting brought home by the cops, etc.)... it could just be that she has found something that she can latch on to and get after you about because she has it out for you. Unfortunately, you have some history at this apartment building and they perhaps are not looking at everything as isolated incidents... they may be adding them up and also adding petty, ridiculous, meaningless issues to their list. What really is nothing by itself is perhaps another "incident" they are tallying against you.

To answer your question, though, personally, I wouldn't let a child go barefoot in your environment. Once we got to a park (that I knew wasn't sprayed), sure we'd take our shoes off. In our own (big and private, with no pesticides/herbicides ever used on) back yard, absolutely. But on sidewalks and apartment playgrounds and parking lots...you're in a rather urban environment and I can see why someone would question it... however it's still your decision and certainly not anything to call CPS about. As an isolated incident, that's way out there. I fear, though that this person is not looking at this as just one thing though... she might be adding them all together and be coming up with something CPS-worthy in her own mind. I would just tell her to call CPS right now. You have nothing to hide, and it would kind of rub her nose in it when they found no grounds to investigate. Like I said, going barefoot in your environment wouldn't work for us, but it's absolutely not something to call the authorities about!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *velochic*
> 
> I agree with this. With what you've talked in the past with issues you've had that could be seen on the outside as not a good situation (kids getting away from you, riding near interstates, getting brought home by the cops, etc.)... it could just be that she has found something that she can latch on to and get after you about because she has it out for you. Unfortunately, you have some history at this apartment building and they perhaps are not looking at everything as isolated incidents... they may be adding them up and also adding petty, ridiculous, meaningless issues to their list. What really is nothing by itself is perhaps another "incident" they are tallying against you.
> 
> To answer your question, though, personally, I wouldn't let a child go barefoot in your environment. Once we got to a park (that I knew wasn't sprayed), sure we'd take our shoes off. In our own (big and private, with no pesticides/herbicides ever used on) back yard, absolutely. But on sidewalks and apartment playgrounds and parking lots...you're in a rather urban environment and I can see why someone would question it... however it's still your decision and certainly not anything to call CPS about. As an isolated incident, that's way out there. I fear, though that this person is not looking at this as just one thing though... she might be adding them all together and be coming up with something CPS-worthy in her own mind. I would just tell her to call CPS right now. You have nothing to hide, and it would kind of rub her nose in it when they found no grounds to investigate. Like I said, going barefoot in your environment wouldn't work for us, but it's absolutely not something to call the authorities about!


It's not a big deal, but we're not in an apartment building. We're in a townhouse complex, although I suspect that, in most places, they'd be called row houses. The sidewalk in question (although I would let her go barefoot on other local ones, as well) is an internal sidewalk, facing our parking lot. The parking lot in question is a second playground for most of the kids in our section (including those of both the moms who have the issue about the footwear), and other parents have set up small mini-golf thing (with a big piece of felt or carpet or something), a basketball hoop, etc. and many of the parents sit out there to socialize and listen to music and stuff. It's a parking lot, but it's not treated as one (except for the occasional yell of "car!"). It's a little bit like a quiet suburban cul-de-sac, but not exactly.

And, honestly - the issue with ds2 getting away from me and riding on the Interstate, and being brought back by the cops was all one incident! I agree that he does have some behavioural issues, and I think those are contributing to this...but it was still bizarre. I barely even know this woman.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

oh absolutely it was bizarre. does she have an only child your dd's age? i think you said her dd was ur dd's age.

i guess her child might be an easy one and the mom must feel in control and therefore cant understand why you dont get it right.

its like that high needs concept. unless you have a HNs child you just never know what its like.

some of the posts here venting about what they saw - could be like her. i mean so yeah they may not have said anything to the person but they did grumble behind their back.


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## Nicole730 (Feb 27, 2009)

Both kids usually start out in shoes/sandals outside. My 3 year old almost always takes his off. I try to keep shoes on him out in public (parks, beach, sidewalks) but try not to care too much if he doesn't want them on or takes them off. I love how feet get all rough and tough in the summer.


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## lightinmyhands (Dec 18, 2008)

barefoot is a pleasure I hate to deny my children. I let my own feet be my guide, if I have a reasonable suspicion that I may step on something if I'm barefoot or if the ground would feel too hot or cold, I don't let my kids go without their shoes, but if I feel as though I'd be safe and comfortable if I were to remove my own footwear, then generally speaking I don't mind if my kids do.


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## PoetryMom (Mar 29, 2009)

I can't keep shoes on my children! Especially DD2. She even takes them off at church. As in your case, for me it's a fight I choose not to have. I only require they go back on when it's time to leave. AS hard as I try, I don't think they even know how to play on the front lawn with shoes on. They put them on to leave the house, and they immediately fly off when they hit the grass. When we got a new roof a few years ago, we were pretty adamant about shoes while in the front yard, as there were plenty of stray nails. As for myself, I think if it weren't for OSHA regulations I would work on my bare feet! (I work on my feet up to 10 hours a day). It's pure pleasure for me to watch them wiggle their naked toes and wrap their feet aroung whatever object because there are no shoes in the way. At the beach, unless the sand is scalding hot, I don't even know how to walk with shoes on. Sand was made for between the toes!!


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## schmeka (May 17, 2011)

Stormbride- that is lady is crazy. I hope we never get to a place where we cannot let our children walk barefoot, or play in the yard unsupervised (at a certain age). Our childhoods were a nice balance of parenting and exploration.

I still love walking around barefoot and although my daughter doesn't do it frequently, she loves shoes, I would hesitate to let her walk around in 'safe' areas. I think to me that would personally include the street BUT she would need to wash her feet before entering the house .

People are starting to lean towards working out barefoot because of the immense benefits it can have on your body/brain.

There are something like 26 bones, 33 joints and 100 (+) muscles and ligaments in the foot. Going barefoot helps strengthen the feet, which support our bodies. Also the feet relay all these messages to our brain and when there is no shoe padding the foot, there is said to be less risk of injury because there is automatic communication. Many adults are starting to re train their feet to be able to go without shoes


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## flyrabbitfly (Jul 28, 2010)

i can't wait til DS can go barefoot! Well, occasionally in the frontyard he does, but we are in Alabama and the fireants are EVERYWHERE, so if we are in the backyard or out for a walk it is shoes at a minimum (rainboots keep them off the longest). We are military and leaving here soon for Seoul where it will be so urban we will probably still need shoes.
I have noticed alot of tension between AP moms and more conventional moms. I think they feel judged by our rejection of the cultural norm for childrearing. Sounds like an uncomfortable situation with a neighbor.
Goodluck


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## sweetpeppers (Dec 19, 2007)

I think barefoot children are wonderful. Adults too!  The dangers of being barefoot are greatly over-exaggerated. Broken glass can be stepped around. We usually bring sandals with us in case of over-anxious store personnel. And when we walk downtown we usually wear flip flops, because there is a lot of gravel on the sidewalk, so it's uncomfortable. Being barefoot can be uncomfortable at times, but rarely is it dangerous. I didn't read through the thread, but in case no one else mentioned it, there's a great little site called www.unshod.org.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

When my kids were toddlers they were almost always barefoot. If were were somewhere that shoes were nesessary they wore shoes, if not, they didn't. Even now they go barefoot as much as possible, I keep a basket of flip flops in the car for that reason : )

OP- I've only read your first two posts in this thread, it sounds as though your neighbor has a serious grudge against you, or, she has entirely too much time on her hands, or both. I just can't understand calling CPS and wasting their time/money/resources over a barefoot child. Calling on suspected abuse? Yes, I support that. Calling on suspected neglect? Yes, I support that too. Calling on a family who's kid is out IN THE SUMMER WITH THEIR MOM, barefoot ? No, the woman is a troublemaker and a burden on our already strained child protective system.

I'd steer clear of her if I were you.


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## slogrl (Jul 20, 2008)

My daughter who is about to turn three, has been going barefoot for almost two years now, whenever she can. I only require that she wear shoes when she rides her scooter, or is playing in an area where there is visible glass or other unsafe debris. If we ever went to the snow which is rare, I would require her to wear shoes there, too. Usually the remarks I get are "where are your shoes, little girl?" to which I politely reply "her mother has them in the event she chooses to wear them". I always keep a pair with me when we go out just in case.

I also have to say that we live in an extremely mild climate where daytime temperatures are typically between 60 and 85 degrees. If the pavement is hot, or it's just too cold outside, I talk to her about hurting her feet and suggest that she wear shoes, and she always does in this cases. She is at the age where we can communicate and she can understand why I'm asking her to do something.


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## r0semary (Jun 21, 2011)

To Cat's Cradle: Random bit of information, you can get hookworm from going barefoot in areas that have an open latrine system. They are passed through human feces, even if it is burried up to 10 ft, and work their way into your feet! It's been virtually completely eliminated in most developed countries, so perhaps your grandmother had had some experience with this. I only know this because my aunt has been talking about how when her husband visits Thailand or Vietnam or somewhere next year, she is having him walk around barefoot outside the latrines to pick up hookworms to bring back to her because it is supposed to be good for autoimmune disorders and allergies, I love my family 

When I was little, I never wore shoes outside (unless we were on a bike, then we had to), it is some of my best memories, I loved being barefoot and when my LO is walking I will certainly not make her wear shoes when playing outside in the yard!


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## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

Was it me, lol? (I know it wasn't...we don't really have neighbors.) But, my kids do this all the time, and the ages last winter were 1.5, 3, and 5.5. They run out first thing in the morning, and they all have boots they could slip on. Some days they do, and some they don't. They also have hats and gloves if they want them. And, if they ask, I'll zip up their jackets. I'd usually bring the youngest in after a short time, and the other two seek warmer gear on their own fairly quickly. It's a goofy battle to me. And they do appear unsupervised, but that's because you can't see me checking on them through the windows every few minutes. We have no traffic, and very few neighbors, though, and are surrounded by natural boundaries (thick woods), so I really don't have to worry about them out there.

As far as shoes, we always check to be sure we have some in the van before we go out, but sometimes one kid will slip by without any and we just have them ride in the cart. Other than that...no shoes. (They have them if they want them, but they don't. My dh wears shoes, but I don't. Sometimes I get in the car and then realize I don't have any on either...)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SuburbanHippie*
> 
> As long as the temperature is okay, I don't see a problem with it. I have considered calling CPS before though on our neighbors that let their children run around in 35-40 degree weather in pjs, barefoot, with an unzipped winter jacket completely unsupervised (ages 3, 4, & 5).


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## betach (Feb 2, 2010)

i love going barefoot too.

the thing that concerns me is not broken glass or metal- since that can be seen and avoided.

but rather catching some fungus from someone else.. i've encountered too many pple. that have fungus on their feet and dont even shower without water shoes..

how likely might it be to catch fungus from someone else who's gone barefoot on the pavement?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *betach*
> 
> i love going barefoot too.
> 
> ...


I don't know, but I don't think it's all that likely. When I was a kid, everyone in the neighbourhood ran around barefoot a lot, and I don't recall anyone ever getting a fungus or anything like that. I've read that fungal infections actually thrive in shoes, because they keep the feet moist and warm, whereas bare feet allow air to circulate more freely, so fungus is less likely to get a...toehold (ouch - that pun hurt, but I can't think of another way to phrase it). I don't know if it's true or not, but it makes sense to me. I've know I've only ever known two or three people with Athlete's Foot, at least that I had knowledge of, and they always wore shoes.

And, honestly...when the weather is dry (which it's not today), the sidewalk doesn't seem like an environment in which a fungus would thrive, yk?


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## EmTheWife (May 28, 2010)

Our 15 mo ds is barefoot whenever we are barefoot, so always indoors, mostly barefoot outside, and occasionally on walks, but we're in Southern California where that's possible almost year-round! We wear shoes when we go places, like shopping, to the park, to friend's homes, etc., places where you're expected to wear shoes.


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## betach (Feb 2, 2010)

k, now there's another reason i'd love to live in southern cali

since i dont see it in the foreseeable future:


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## heathernj (Jan 21, 2011)

I would SOOO invite the friend over! Also, the words "Mind your own business!" have become distressingly underused these days--some people just need to be reminded, sometimes. My kids go barefoot, unless they choose to put on shoes or we're somewhere where they are necessary or required. I prefer that no one wear shoes in the house--it makes for less dirt being tracked in. I am barefoot unless I need shoes. (Right now, I have a baby due in 3 weeks, and I often wear shoes because the support feels good, but it's not my non-pregnant norm) My Mom had wide, flat, feet and bunions. Very seldom did she own a pair of shoes that were comfortable for her. So, mostly, she didn't wear any. She stepped on a thumbtack once, and wondered what was going "click!" when she walked for a good while before she even realized she had a tack in the bottom of her bare foot! Mom never really made us wear shoes, either, and I can remember a few summers where the only shoes we had were cheap flip flops (we'd get new shoes when school started). When we lived on a working dairy farm, it was required that we wear shoes into the barn, for reasons of possible tetanus if we stepped on a nail, or something.


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## heathernj (Jan 21, 2011)

Can you sew? Even a little? They're not hard to make, at all! Google "soft leather baby shoes pattern" There is a lady online who sells an adult sized Robeez-type pattern. as well as a baby one.


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## heathernj (Jan 21, 2011)

I'm not sure it's even possible, unless you picked up the fungus, and then immediately put on a pair of shoes that don't breathe. Fungus needs a dark, damp environment. If you want the best chance of avoiding it, do NOT buy your kids plastic gym shoes. Even some of the leather ones that have a lot of foam and synthetic fabric as lining, don't breathe very well. I go barefoot most of the time, and have never had any sort of foot fungus. DH used to have a problem with athlete's foot, which we cleared up with tea tree oil. He has to wear shoes at work, of course. We switched him to wool socks (which, believe it or not, are comfortable in summer, too), rather than cotton, because wool wicks moisture so well that it never gets damp and sweaty, even when we've been chopping firewood in 100 degree weather, and fungus hasn't been a problem since (6 or 7 years, at least)


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## Ruthiegirl (Jun 25, 2004)

Wait, kids wear shoes?


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## MissAnthrope (Jan 31, 2011)

Actually, you can get hookworm (this may be the "worm" PP mentioned) walking around barefoot in areas where there have been animal feces, both soil and pavement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookworm

We have a barefoot home because of our preemie. We don't allow anyone to wear shoes in the house and have service people cover their shoes with those sterile booties surgeons have. Shoes can track a lot of toxins indoors (fertilizers, pesticides, antifreeze, etc.), as can bare feet that have been outside. We allow our children to be barefoot outside, but only in our yard and on our sidewalk, which I know are clean. Mostly, again, I'm paranoid because of the now-toddler preemie, but it helps keep everyone safe. Anyone who's been barefoot outside gets their feet washed off with water and distilled vinegar when coming in again.

When I was growing up, we were allowed to be barefoot in the immediate area around our house, including pavement and both back and front yards.


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## Isonomist (Apr 15, 2008)

Stormbride, when your neighbor says "everyone" is talking about your barefoot kids, what she means is, she brings up the subject every chance she gets and whoever she's mentioned it to has come to realize the only way to shut her up is to pretend they agree. Or she's just flat out lying. Your neighbor is using "everyone" as a club to try to control you. I'm glad you're not letting her win, although I know this kind of endless hostility can wear a mother down. I'm sure there are plenty of people who just cave to get her off their backs. I was married to someone like that, long ago...the best thing you can do is just call her on it. "Oh really, everyone? Can you get them to sign a petition?"


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Isonomist*
> 
> Stormbride, when your neighbor says "everyone" is talking about your barefoot kids, what she means is, she brings up the subject every chance she gets and whoever she's mentioned it to has come to realize the only way to shut her up is to pretend they agree. Or she's just flat out lying. Your neighbor is using "everyone" as a club to try to control you. I'm glad you're not letting her win, although I know this kind of endless hostility can wear a mother down. I'm sure there are plenty of people who just cave to get her off their backs. I was married to someone like that, long ago...the best thing you can do is just call her on it. "Oh really, everyone? Can you get them to sign a petition?"


Thanks for the words of support. I know that her next door neighbour also has a thing about my kids being barefoot, and I suspect the neighbour I was originally talking about has decided to focus on her ally, and ignore the existence of anyone who disagrees with her.

I don't think she really reported me, anyway. If she did, I'm less worried about it all the time, as our major declutter/room round robin (we're switching around all the bedrooms) is getting closer and closer to completion. It's also more obvious every day that we really are moving things around (eg. the bedroom dd1 and ds2 were using is empty, except for a futon, and there's a bunch of their stuff crammed into our room right now), so if someone did decide to take her seriously and show up here, it wouldn't look bad, yk?


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

We are pretty much a totally barefoot family. My kids have never worn shoes unless they absolutely have to. All through life, my kids haven't been used to wearing shoes at any time unless they are in a place where they are required to--and most of the time, we just avoided such places. Once school ended at the end of May, my kids shoes came off and they didn't wear shoes at all all summer. And if you press the issue, you would be surprised how many public places actually back down on their "no barefeet policy," including stores, the library, and yes, even restaurants.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I wouldn't let them walk in a store barefoot... but, in my yard, we go barefoot all the time. I have other parent that think that's odd.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

It's interesting that this thread just came back up. I was re-reading it, and noticed a few posts about stepping on nails. My 10 year old nephew was recently at ER for 7 hours, and had to walk with crutches for several days, because a nail went through his foot (on an angle...sank in about 4" - OUCH!). He was running around at school, and a board came loose from a garden bed when his friend knocked into it, and then he stepped on it. He was wearing shoes. I get the glass thing, and the tack thing...but I've never understood how shoes are supposed to help if someone steps on a nail.

And, ouch - my feet are hurting just thinking about it.


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

Ouch! Shoes are no protection at all....both my children , aged 3 and 5 years, have been 100% barefoot since birth, without any problems at all. Their feet are strong and well developed. I haven't had any shoes on my feet for about the last four years, so I am a committed barefooter, which is not uncommon down here in New Zealand. Children need the sensory 'feel' of textures underfoot, as do their mummies!


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## jess in hawaii (Oct 13, 2011)

I have rejected shoes all my life, at the most extreme going about 6 months, including two trips through Mexico without ever putting on a pair. Needless to say, my children have been minimally shod. The funniest thing is, they all seem to go through a phase where they insist on wearing shoes.

Now we live in a place where bare feet are common, not quite so much a part of the culture as in NZ, but still widely accepted. It's still expected to wear shoes in stores, but in our crunchy small town it is often overlooked, and I have many times seen women in offices (even government offices!) going shoeless behind the desk, and shoes are never worn in homes. Even in school, though shoes are required, they are often taken off in class (my son's teacher said that when she was growing up, no one wore shoes to school). So I carry a pair of flip-flops with me and slip them on when I have to go somewhere I think someone might care.


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## rookiemtnmama (Jul 29, 2011)

Well my only child is only 3mo old, but if she's anything like me, she won't wear shoes very often! Her father, on the other hand, is rarely seen without his shoes on. I guess we shall see, but I am totally fine with her only wearing shoes when she wants to, unless we are somewhere that she could get hurt. I've had plenty of comments made throughout my life when I have been barefoot, but I just laugh and make light of it, especially when someone is disgusted by my barefeet...those are usually the same people who prefer to wear shoes that are bad for their feet and uncomfortable...to each his own!!


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## solemum (Nov 7, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Shann*
> 
> We are pretty much a totally barefoot family. My kids have never worn shoes unless they absolutely have to. All through life, my kids haven't been used to wearing shoes at any time unless they are in a place where they are required to--and most of the time, we just avoided such places. Once school ended at the end of May, my kids shoes came off and they didn't wear shoes at all all summer. And if you press the issue, you would be surprised how many public places actually back down on their "no barefeet policy," including stores, the library, and yes, even restaurants.


Great to see another barefoot family! There is no way here in New Zealand our Child Services would take any complaint seriously about barefoot children. All kids here are barefoot, all through summer and winter. My two boys never wear shoes, they dont own any - the eldest boy has just started school and he goes barefoot. Im a barefoot mummy, as many others are here, and quite happily go everywhere in barefeet, shopping, visiting friends and family, restaurants, family outings, I even work as a teacher aide and do that in barefeet. It is so much more comfortable and better for my feet to not be cramped into ugly shoes. I haver not had apair of shoes on my barefeet for over four years and very proud of it!


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## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

My kids are barefoot a lot. Not outside in the summer, we live in the desert and it's 110-120 degrees in the summer. When the weather is nice, we're all barefoot!


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

I know it's an old thread recently revived, but thought I'd peep in.

I'm a barefooter - I take my shoes off the second I come inside. I put them on before I go out because I don't care for splinters or glass either one, and we have plenty around here. I put shoes or socks on to keep my feet warm for the most part.

DS seems to take after me with the very wide, difficult to fit feet, and he takes his shoes off constantly. I finally found a pair of slipper socks that he seems to like and will leave on all day, just because our floor is so bloody cold and I got sick of the cold feet under my shirt.

DH on the other hand doesn't like being barefoot. He goes from shoes to slippers and back again. Only during the hottest days of summer does he go without (inside the house).

As for shoes protecting - from glass possibly, from splinters definitely. From nails, not usually. I've had a nail go through the sole of a shoe at least twice and wound up in the ER because of it (as a kid). As an adult I've learned to watch where I put my feet.

I do not go out in public barefoot, and I don't let DS walk barefoot, but if he's in a shopping cart or a carrier/stroller, or in arms I don't care. But just last week we had a bit of a run in with someone. We were driving home from our Xmas trip, and stopped for lunch in a tiny little wide spot in the road. It was pouring rain with 55 mph gusts, I wasn't going to stand in that long enough to wrestle socks and shoes on DS (his slip-on shoes were soaked), and since I wasn't going to let him walk outside anyway, what diff did it make? I picked him up, bundled him under my jacket and ran inside. Straight to a table, put him in a booster with crayons and he was happy as a clam. We ate, and as we walk up to the cash register some lady grabs his toes and exclaims in shock that they're warm! She was going to admonish me that he should have shoes on. A few minutes later as I was waiting under cover for DH to get the car unlocked, same woman grabs his toes again, and is again shocked at how warm they are. I mean seriously? It was bad enough you did it once, but it's been less than 5 minutes and you're doing it again? Geeze! Yes, it's storming, but it's not like I'm letting him splash in puddles barefoot. I was carrying him from heated restaurant to heated car. Some people just have nothing good to think about anything outside their comfort zone.


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## november (Mar 22, 2009)

My daughter is barefoot 100% of the time at home, and A LOT of the time even when we're playing outside. She does wear shoes whenever we leave the house, however. I'm always barefoot, too, so it's not something I put much thought in to.


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## Vrai (Nov 25, 2011)

We travel and most places, DD and I both are barefoot most of the time, inside and out. However, in our home city (NY), there's just SO much trash, industrial crap, chemicals, and god knows what other nasties, I don't allow her to here. I feel bad about that, but it's life. It makes me sad that I can feel more comfortable with my child walking around "dirty" streets in India, and yet NY squicks me out. We don't wear shoes inside, no exceptions.

In most other places, we're 100% or just about barefoot. I too think it's beneficial for foot development, as well as athletic ability and overall wellbeing, connectedness.


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## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

Interesting thread! There are some pretty strong feelings both ways about going barefoot. But we do have lots of barefoot adults who think it's better for you than shoe wearing. Check out our *Barefooters group forum. *


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