# Newsflash: Co-sleeping children regress later in life



## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

I was talking to my sister yesterday, who claimed that research proves that children who co-sleep "regress" later in life. Umm, according to whom??? Then I told her about the man - can't remember his name - who has researched and published over 100 sleep studies, and about how we're the only culture that accepts the separation of moms and babies as a routine, and she claimed that such research was "flawed" and was only done to support someone's belief about co-sleeping. Umm, huh







:
I did not mention what common sense dictates to anyone who is able to think for him or herself. That when a baby feels totally safe, loved, and secure through childhood he or she will have a healthy ability to promote sound, healthy relationships as an adult. Why are we so sold into thinking that our good ol' American indoctrination crap - ie, circumcision, crib sleeping, etc. - is far superior to the way other countries and cultures do things??? Every other culture throughout history has co-slept, breastfed, etc.... why do we need to screw things up so royally???
Sorry for the rant. Had to get it off my chest.







: My rather large nursing mother's chest


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## staleyg (Mar 14, 2002)

"regress" is the word dr. phil used to bash co-sleeping last week on oprah. pissed me off bigtime.


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## Mamamia3 (Jul 23, 2002)

In what sense did Dr. Phil use "regress"? Do they suddenly want to start sleeping in the parents bed again when they're in college? Do 10 year old former co-sleepers start sucking their thumb in the middle of phys ed? I hope "good old" Dr. Phil gave some specifics, and I'd love to know them...Growls to him.
Lisa M.


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## N2theWoods (Jan 14, 2002)

Oooh, ooooh - let me guess. "Regress later in life" means that even though these children will eventually grow up, go to college, and move out of the house. They will also eventually marry someone, take that person into their bed, and then have children and take THEM into their bed, too.

Would that my kids suffer such regression!


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## Mamamia3 (Jul 23, 2002)

LOL









Maybe they'll regress like my oldest -- She now loves it when our 3 year old joins her in her big girl bed for snuggles and sleep. Meanwhile all her "sleep trained" friends still vie for space in their parents room most days. Go figure!

Lisa


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

Quote:

In what sense did Dr. Phil use "regress"? Do they suddenly want to start sleeping in the parents bed again when they're in college? Do 10 year old former co-sleepers start sucking their thumb in the middle of phys ed?























My husband asked that same exact question! LOL


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## NewMa (May 2, 2002)

Dr. Phil actually had the gall to say that when he worked with terminally ill children they would act much younger than their age the day after their parents curled up in bed with them.








What kind of jerk thinks this way???? That co-sleeping is such a bad idea that even children who are severely ill or dying shouldn't have the comfort of a parent beside them at night????? This really made me sad and I now think that Dr. Phil is pure evil.


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## leafylady (Nov 19, 2001)

http://www.nd.edu/~alfac/mckenna/

It's Professor James McKenna's website, if you want to point her in the right direction.


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## homesteader (Feb 26, 2002)

who the heck is this idiot dr. phil? (we don't have tv) this is just one of many threads that i've read about this person in. it really bothers me that misinformation gets spread by people with titles like dr & phd! my family and friends actually listen to these people and then it makes my life hell because they think the research I'VE done is flawed or inacurate somehow! i just want what is best for my ds and people feel that if it's not an idea they've heard of or is mainstream it can't be right...then they hear people like this dr phil back them up! it's just very frustrating!


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## Amymom2-2 (Jul 30, 2002)

Well, my .02 worth --- My parents co-slept with me and at 29 yrs old, I've experienced no regression!! If anything, it is a very happy memory for me! I know I co-slept as a baby, but even later on when I suffered night terrors, it was nice to know I was always welcome!


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## NewMa (May 2, 2002)

that's so good to hear, Amymom2-2!! We don't get to hear from many grown ups who know thst they were slept w/ aa little ones!


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## girrllie (Nov 20, 2001)

Dr. Phil is a psychologist that appears frequently on the Oprah Winfrey show - she adores him and he'll come on and essentially take over her show, doing "therapy" on t.v. He's very "in your face" type of therapist.

I happened to catch just that little bit of that show and then turned it off due to getting so pissed off. My point of contention was that it's o.k. for terminally ill children to regress - my god - what the hell are they going through? And dr. phil was saying it like it was not o.k. for them to regress. I honestly don't think it had anything to do with co-sleeping anyway. My take on this is that he doesn't know what connected parenting is like and doesn't have the ability to recognize it. What he described was, yes, "regression," but also parents meeting the needs of their terminally ill children, no matter what they were. What I truly saw was a psychologist talking out his ass - I don't think he knows one thing about attachment parenting or has even read anything about co-sleeping.


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

:

Bull feathers.

Someone posted the link to James McKenna's EXCELLENT web site. If you go to any search engine like google.com or yahoo.com
and do a search for
"benefits of cosleeping" or
"James McKenna cosleeping" or
"Dr. Wiliam Sears cosleeping" or
"Dr. Jay Gordon cosleeping"
you will probably find more. There is a link to that Harvard study...that recommends cosleeping, has anyone posted it?

Also do a search for "cosleeping" at http://www.drjaygordon.com

Dr. Phil has some good advice but he doesn't know what he's talking about when he condems cosleeping. Also he RECOMMENDED cosleeping on Oprah after Sept 11 to make kids feel secure!!! Tell THAT to your critics! (Yeah I know he probably thought it was only ok temporarily but it is TRUE that he RECOMMENDED cosleeping last fall on Oprah.)


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

Oh and furthermore.....maybe the kids with cancer regressed because they had CANCER!!!!! DUH!!! Or maybe Dr. Phil THOUGHT they were regressing because they were crying in the night or asking for hugs...Good Lord man, they had CANCER!!! I would be crying and asking for hugs too!

Gotta take my little guppies grocery shopping, I'll try to post some links later if you want...or were you just enjoying a nice vent?


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## peacefulmom (Jul 20, 2002)

Dr.phil is a dumb ass. Lets go to Opera . com and tell her our posiyive stories of co sleeping and get a show to support our wonderful family beds.







We should find the site and put it on this thread so we can all go to it. I will try but my lil girl is waking up so if I dont get back someone else should







..My whole extended fam says co sleeping will make her digress aslso so lets get our butts on Opera







peace and love...peacefulmom


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## rianna (Jul 28, 2002)

I was reading our post and I have heard lots of misiformation spewed from dr.phil.
anyway.... MOMTWICE just to let you know I took your research and posted it on another forum with a thread tittled "crib, bassainet, or with me" this is on delphi forums... pregnacy and birth. I have been debating on this thread for a while now and thought your information would be good. Hope you dont mind..


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Regression ... ????

We spend our whole teen & adult lives looking for someone to sleep with. Is that the regression he's talking about???

- Amy


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

Pro-cosleeping articles:

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/...enNeedTou.html

http://www.nd.edu/~ndmag/ilm1su98.html

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/faq.html#effects

http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/detsleepthrough.html

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/culture.html

http://www.naturalchild.com/james_mc...ethinking.html

http://www.naturalchild.com/james_mc...bies_need.html

http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading..._slepping.html

http://www.parentsplace.com/print/0,...435403,00.html

http://www.littlekoala.com/ArmsReachArticles.html

http://slate.msn.com/default.aspx?id=2020

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMayJun99p68.html

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/cosleep/research.asp

http://www.parentingweb.com/ap/sleep_health.htm

http://www.kellymom.com/familybed.html

http://www.drjaygordon.com/links/ap.htm (scroll down to "SLEEP" for list of articles; some are repeats of links above)

YES! RIANNA and anyone else feel free to spread them around!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Tine Thevenin, an anthropoligist who has studied co-sleeping extensively, says that in cultures where co-sleeping is the norm children are less likely to have sex before they are adults and are less likely to use drugs and be violent. Hmmm, if that is regression then bring it on.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

My dh is from India and he and his sister shared a family bed and bedroom at times practially until they were adults and moved out. My SIL slept on a cot in my IL's bedroom literally until the day she married. She shared a room with dh but got lonely after he moved away. 

In India most families not only co-sleep but the entire family sleeps in one room, from grandparents to infants! And judging by the huge number of engineers that the US and Canada import from India every year I would say that they don't seem very regressed to me!

Darshani


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

And an awful lot of the less-well-off among Americans earlier this century lived in one room.

I guess we've gotten a little too well-heeled, huh?







:

- Amy


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

Oh and if you are dealing with criticism from someone who only accepts "expert" parenting advice from a male "expert" you can point out that THREE famous MALE pediatricians have written
books that recommend cosleeping:

Good Nights (Dr. Jay Gordon)
Sweet Dreams (Dr. Paul Fleiss)
Nighttime Parenting (Dr. William Sears)
The Baby Book (Dr. William Sears)

Gotta love patriarchy.







:


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

Refresh


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