# Sneaking Makeup to School



## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

I just got a call from my DD's kindy teacher. Apparently my daughter took her bright red play lipstick into school today and shared with all her friends during their afternoon recess. The teacher thought the whole thing was hilarious and took the opportunity to talk about the differences between lipstick and lip gloss (the girls thought it was lip gloss) and to talk about how it feels etc etc. She also brought up how the lipstick doesn't really come off and how important it is to only use makeup when an adult knows that that it really shouldn't go to school. She was very nice about it and really just found it funny and cute so there's no problem with the teacher or school.

But I have no idea how to approach it at home.

I plan to reiterate what her teacher said. The issue is she keeps sneaking the stuff. She's got to have a stash of it somewhere because every few days or so she will come out and have makeup smeared across her face. I really don't mind her playing with her play makeup but she doesn't ask. I need her to ask because sometimes it just isn't a good time to put on makeup and she leaves it out and her little brothers find it and eat it. I pointed this out to her several times yesterday alone and still she ignored me and took it to school.

I'm really bothered by this. There are some things she just doesn't listen to me about. Makeup is one of them. No matter how many times I've talked to her about asking and explained why she needs to ask, she doesn't do it. Using toilet paper is another, she will not wipe her butt clean (TMI, I'm sure, I'm sorry). Every single time I explain to her about how unhealthy it is, yeast infections, bladder infections, etc, she still won't do it. If her little brothers get angry and hit her, she'll just sit there and take it and scream in their face which only makes the issue worse. No matter how many times I tell her to just get up and walk away, she won't. For the life of me, I don't understand WHY she continues these things.

So I guess what I'm asking is, what now? I've tried talking and explanations. Its not doing anything. What happens now? More specifically, what do I do with the makeup at school situation?


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## tiqa (Feb 8, 2012)

Hmm. Well, I suppose the first time with the make up it was funny and cute, but hopefully she won't do it again. If she did, I imagine the teacher wouldn't be so OK with that, and would probably have to enforce the rule a bit more. You and the teacher might have to work together to find her an appropriate consequence. I don't know what I would do about a stash. I guess I would let it go that she could have her make up on at home if she really wanted it, but not at school. Or I would find some sort of make up that she could wear that you were OK with, like chapstick or lip balm or something. Or some sort of hair accessory or piece of jewelry - something pretty but more age-appropriate than makeup. But I wouldn't be OK with a, what, 5? 6? year old wearing or taking makeup out of the house.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Find her stash and put it away. She can ask you to get it for her, and out of respect for her you should give it to her when ever possible.

However, does she have to ask to use her other toys/stuff? It might be obvious to you why she should ask, but it might just be baffling to her why she has to ask for the make up when she doesn't have to ask for her other stuff.

Maybe it's too late and the cat's out of the bag :-D but I'd treat it a bit like glitter and other potentially disastrous craft supplies that I loath- keep it up and out of the way.

I'm sorry, I don't have brilliant answers about the other two examples! Only that kids not wiping enough is a common enough issue here! So your child isn't the only one.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

I would first come across with the fact that you don't want her little brothers to accidentally destroy her things. Then maybe give her a little box to put it all in. And then, tell her she needs to keep it in the bathroom or some place you can keep an eye on it.

I would start small scale first. She already got caught at school.

For the other stuff, if just telling her doesn't work. Show her. I use the internet to prove my point sometimes. Ever notice how some kids will listen to someone else before they'll listen to their own parents. We had the no wiping problem. Then I showed the girls articles and pictures detailing the importance of doing so. Yeah... they listen know.

That's all I got.


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## tiqa (Feb 8, 2012)

Just another thought - re: keeping it in the bathroom. I think if she knows you won't take her stash away *as long as she keeps it in the bathroom* it might help her. Like, that particular drawer can still be hers and you won't touch it, but it has to stay in there.

Or she might just consider it her secret treasure. I think I had a few as a kid myself. It wasn't makeup, but they were other little things that I just liked to have hidden away, just for the thrill of having something private from my parents. Maybe make-up is just one of those things for her... I wouldn't be thrilled about it, but as long as she didn't take it to school then I guess it isn't the end of the world. As long as it stays at home.


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## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tiqa*
> 
> Hmm. Well, I suppose the first time with the make up it was funny and cute, but hopefully she won't do it again. *If she did, I imagine the teacher wouldn't be so OK with that, and would probably have to enforce the rule a bit more.* You and the teacher might have to work together to find her an appropriate consequence. I don't know what I would do about a stash. I guess I would let it go that she could have her make up on at home if she really wanted it, but not at school. Or I would find *some sort of make up that she could wear that you were OK with, like chapstick or lip balm or something. * Or some sort of hair accessory or piece of jewelry - something pretty but more age-appropriate than makeup. But I wouldn't be OK with a, what, 5? 6? year old wearing or taking makeup out of the house.


This is part of what I am concerned about. I don't really think it would be an issue, but I think I will get some chapstick just for her to have and use at school.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *journeymom*
> 
> However, does she have to ask to use her other toys/stuff? It might be obvious to you why she should ask, but it might just be baffling to her why she has to ask for the make up when she doesn't have to ask for her other stuff.
> 
> I'm sorry, I don't have brilliant answers about the other two examples! Only that kids not wiping enough is a common enough issue here! So your child isn't the only one.


She doesn't have to ask for most of her other stuff. She does have to ask for arts and crafts supplies because of mess factor. That said, its always been the rule that she has to ask for it so I'm not sure why its become a problem now?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> I would first come across with the fact that you don't want her little brothers to accidentally destroy her things. Then maybe give her a little box to put it all in. And then, tell her she needs to keep it in the bathroom or some place you can keep an eye on it.
> 
> For the other stuff, if just telling her doesn't work. Show her. I use the internet to prove my point sometimes. Ever notice how some kids will listen to someone else before they'll listen to their own parents. We had the no wiping problem. Then I showed the girls articles and pictures detailing the importance of doing so. Yeah... they listen know.


I've done the keeping your brother's out of it speech about several things before. Sometimes she gets it, sometimes she doesn't. Maybe if I push the fact that it can be toxic....

I hadn't thought about kids listening to someone else. I guess I just thought that would start later, like around 10 or 12. *sigh* Ya learn so much as a parent! So I will try this method and hopefully that will help.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tiqa*
> 
> Or she might just consider it her secret treasure. I think I had a few as a kid myself. It wasn't makeup, but they were other little things that I just liked to have hidden away, just for the thrill of having something private from my parents. Maybe make-up is just one of those things for her... I wouldn't be thrilled about it, but as long as she didn't take it to school then I guess it isn't the end of the world. As long as it stays at home.


This is an interesting thought. I wouldn't put it past DD to have makeup as her treasure, she's very girly girl. It just does need to stay home.

*sigh* Here's another example she just did. She's playing house with her brothers, she's the mom, they are her kids. She keeps running errands, sending D1 to school and closing DS2 into her room alone. I asked her not to do that since it isn't safe for him (he's barely 1 and closing him in her room is like locking the door on him, he freaks out, stands pounding on the door, its not a good scene). Explain everything I just said. She turns around and does it within three minutes. Repeat and tell her to leave her door open since she still left DS2 alone. Not even two minutes later her door closes, reopens, closes with DS2 again locked in. WTH?!?!







What am I doing wrong?!


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

You're not doing anything wrong... Kids are kind of like beagles. They can't hear us. They have a force field that blocks out all common sense. It's cool, years of work slowly chips away at it all.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *3xMama*
> 
> This is part of what I am concerned about. I don't really think it would be an issue, but I think I will get some chapstick just for her to have and use at school.
> 
> ...


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

If it makes you feel any better. My kids are not allowed on top of my car. They still stand on it when they think I'm not looking. Not too long ago I got in and my head was touching the roof. YUP, they jumped on it and pushed in the roof. It's a newer model mustang... I was able to pop it back up. And then I went on a rampage. Yesterday when I drove around the corner... there they were on top of the van. DD1 chipped a bone in her foot earlier in the year falling off the van. Let me tell you this kid has lost her bike for not listening, her skateboard and all other things that she finds dangerous uses for... doesnt' stop her from still doing it. Even when she busted her chin open.


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## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> You're not doing anything wrong... Kids are kind of like beagles. They can't hear us. They have a force field that blocks out all common sense. It's cool, years of work slowly chips away at it all.


Not sure if this makes me feel better or worse!!!







I'm laughing though, so I'll go with better.







Glad mine is normal, I guess!

Eegads, though, mama! That is scary! I think I'd pass out if I came home and saw that. It would probably be due to lack of oxygen to my brain due to yelling. I'd think a busted chin would stop it...but I think I'll have to go back to your quoted comment above!


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

That kind of 'dogged' determination (beagles - dogged -get it? ahaha!) will be a strength when they're grown. They'll get knocked down, but they'll get up again. With laser focus, they won't let anything like authority or convention distract them from achieving their goals...


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