# how old was your child when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room?



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

... and what were the circumstances? Sometimes when I am sitting in the bathroom watching dd play in the bath I feel like I am being ridiculously over-protective. I've never even left the room to go get a snack or answer the phone- because she is my first and only child, and I've always read that you should never, ever leave a baby alone in the bathtub; that even in an inch or two of water there is danger.

I don't have many "real life" friends with babies- so I'm asking you wise mamas. How old do you think is old enough to leave the room for 30 seconds to a minute? What about five minutes? What about a whole twenty or thirty minute bath within earshot but not necessarily eyesight?

My daughter is thirteen months old. She walks and has good motor control, and she is constantly babbling or talking to me and her surroundings. How risky is semi-solo bathtime?

I hope I don't sound like a neglectful parent for asking this question! I certainly don't want to leave my baby in a dangerous situation. I'm just curious- how old is old enough?


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I wasnt comfy leaving my dd until she was 5yo and ds I still dont and he is 5 now. My reasons are for safety but also the mess. There is no way I would leave a toddler in there alone at all. They would have to be at least 2yo before I would be ok with leaving for a few minutes to do something really quick. No more than a minute though.


----------



## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Extremely risky at 13 months. Somewhere I read that children should not be allowed to be alone in the bath tub until the age of 5 years. And therefore I followed that advice and never left them alone until they turned at least 5. Better safe than sorry.


----------



## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spicyrock* 
My daughter is thirteen months old.

NO WAY would I have left ds alone in the bathtub at 13 months old. Babies can drown very quickly in just an inch of water. Not to mention what if she tries to stand up and slips? Nope. No way. Heck, at 6 my ds still sticks his face in the water for extended periods and then has a freaked/panicked look when either he takes his face out or I pull his head out









DS is 6 years 3 months and we've just now started leaving the room for a few minutes at a time while he's bathing. BUT- ds has autism and I don't trust him like I would a typical 6 year old. I would say probably around 4 is when I would start leaving the room for a minute or two with a typical child.


----------



## LovnMyBoys (Jan 21, 2008)

At that point I would have popped around the corner to get a forgotten towel (literally outside the bathroom door) but that's it. In that case if they went under I would be back grabbing them in enough time. Up until 2 yrs for sure I've seen my younger one go under while playing and I've needed to grab him.
Now younger ds is over 2.5 I will fold laundry outside the bathroom, or even pop into our room right across the hall to put some things in drawers but I'm checking in constantly. If older ds is in the bath too(he's 5) I may venture as far as my bathroom but I'll stay on the same floor and older ds knows to yell if there is ever an issue. Just older ds bathing alone I won't check in as often but I'm still on the upper floor (very open upper floorplan). The only exception to that would be a quick run to the washer/dryer at the bottom of the stairs.
My boys both also talk to themselves (and the toys) the entire time so if it is ever quiet I'm in there fast.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

See, now you guys are making me feel a little guilty for asking! I've never left her alone even for five seconds before! I was just sitting in there the other day watching her play and wondered- could I run to the kitchen and grab a diet coke? Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?

I guess the consensus will be- no! Good thing I have you mamas to ask


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

At 13 months the problem was more that she'd try to stand up and possibly stand up into the faucet or just trip on her own feet and smack her head.

Since 16 months, I've been comfortable stepping one step out of the bathroom to grab something, maybe 5 seconds I wasn't looking right at her? While she was intently sitting and playing in a way that seemed stable. But even then, I've only done it twice. Partly because the majority of her baths are with me.

In my mind, it's going to be around age 5 that I'll consider solo bathing, but bathtime is such a great time for playing and chatting that she'll probably initiating bathing herself before I really stop staying with her.

Once she stops randomly standing up in the tub, I'll probably stay in the room but do a bit of cleaning too.


----------



## annekh23 (Nov 1, 2008)

I'd fold clothes outside the bathroom door, with the door open and no sound that would prevent you from hearing her. Babies can drown in tiny amounts of water, but they don't do it when they first slip under, you don't have to be within arms reach to still give safe supervision, just instant reaction reach.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

As for folding the clothes and such, you could make part of setting up for the bath that you put some task in the bathroom. e.g. a basket with towels, or that book you've meant to read, stuff you can do while keeping one eye on her.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 







As for folding the clothes and such, you could make part of setting up for the bath that you put some task in the bathroom. e.g. a basket with towels, or that book you've meant to read, stuff you can do while keeping one eye on her.










I wish I could read while she plays in the bath! Unfortunately, the times I have tried that, dd has decided that my book is superior to all other bath toys









Honestly, I don't really mind hanging out with her while she bathes. I often even jump in with her.


----------



## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

I feel a little overprotective, my sons were about 5 or 6 before I felt comfortable leaving the room. Now my oldest is 9 and I know he can handle it, but my newly 7 year old, I still check on.







( They like deep baths...) But maybe thats just me..


----------



## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

I should read the other replies before I post...LOL...


----------



## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

With DD I would sit outside the door and read or something at 2 years old. I'd even go get a drink. Granted, I could always hear her singing or babbling and if she stopped I'd say her name and she would respond with an I'm okay or start singing again. Unless she talks a lot or makes a lot of verbal noises, I don't think I'd be comfortable leaving her. It also depends on how big your place is.


----------



## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LovnMyBoys* 
At that point I would have popped around the corner to get a forgotten towel (literally outside the bathroom door) but that's it.

This is what I do with 15 month DD. It's maybe 10-15 seconds and I'm ok with that. Anything longer and I yell for DH to sit with her while I go get whatever.


----------



## marlee (Aug 29, 2005)

Well I'll go against the grain here. I wish to have no negative comments.

First my house is very small. Second I never have noise in my house like music or TV when the children are bathing. Third my children have very cautious and safe personalities yes children but very physically safe.

My first child bathed alone I'm sure by 13 months. Very often we would bathe together but when alone I didn't sit with her. She never splashed or moved quickly. She sat there and played with toys. I would open the door all the way and clean the bathroom or kitchen (3 steps from bathroom). No worries. If she were to slip and fall it's not like she is going to die or be anymore likely than if she fell walking around our house? Or drown? I am right there.

My 2nd has baths alone all the time as well. Now 17 months, maybe started around 12 months. He's splashes more and moves more so I put him in a 'baby tub' in the big tub so he doesn't walk around. He is supervised but I am not within arms reach and not visually watching all the time but always listening. Again the kitchen is 3 steps away. But I do have to step backwards from the counter to see him.

If they are both in I supervise visually much more like wash the bathroom floor.

My 4 year old bathes alone all the time and often with the door shut. Trust me if she get's any water on her face I am going to hear about it.

Oh and my children don't make a water mess very often. Usually the worst is throwing the soaking wet cloth on the floor.

I really wouldn't be that keen on bathing my children if I had to sit right there the whole time!

With both my children they will at times request company and then my bathroom gets very clean.

I feel my children are well supervised and in case of an accident I would be able to help them with what they need.


----------



## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

At 4ish, I would leave DD in the bathroom while the tub was filling, with her getting undressed/playing with bubbles but NOT in the tub while I grabbed towel, pjs etc. She was old enough not to jump in. Alone in the tub, not until 5 years old. I usually clean the bathroom while they are in the tub.


----------



## Pepper44 (May 16, 2006)

Our house is small, so I am ok leaving my 3.5 year old alone in the tub with the door open. Any room I'm in is either right across the hall from the bathroom or the bathroom and kitchen share a wall so I can hear really well. She is constantly singing or talking at the top of her lungs to herself. If she's quiet for a second I call out and she answers, "I'm not drowning!"







I wouldn't ever do something loud like vacuum or watch TV while she was in the tub though.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Way too young.. try to have everything ready and IN the bathroom before you put your child in.


----------



## Kuba'sMama (Oct 8, 2004)

my kids like to bathe together. I would feel safe leaving them alone by themselves (6.5 and 4) but together.... oy. Dh made that mistake tonight and had a "river" to clean. My daughter innocently said that "water over the edge of the tub makes a waterfall, did you know that daddy?" Well, he does now.
As far as safety though, I definately didn't leave them alone in the tub until at least 3. My son would've been ok, but with sensory issues he was actually afraid of water so I stayed for support mostly. My daughter is just plainly prone to crazy ideas. Better safe than sorry I say.


----------



## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

I still don't and my son is 5. Mostly because he shares the bath with mis younger brother and I'm worried he would hold him under or something LOL (they roughhouse a bit)


----------



## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

Not until about 2 1/2 but that would be with me only in the bedroom right next to it and I had to have the door open and hear splashing around....I would never run downstairs or anything. Generally I grab a book and sit on the toilet while he plays.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bebebradford* 
Way too young.. try to have everything ready and IN the bathroom before you put your child in.

This isn't an issue of un-preparedness. It is one of curiosity about when other moms are comfortable doing some multi-tasking while their children are bathing, and how those comfort levels progress with the age of the child.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kuba'sMama* 
Dh made that mistake tonight and had a "river" to clean. My daughter innocently said that "water over the edge of the tub makes a waterfall, did you know that daddy?" Well, he does now.

hahahahahahahahahahaha


----------



## Tuckergirl (Mar 4, 2007)

I rarely post over here, mostly a lurker, but this I HAVE to say something about.

I don't care how small a house is, a baby or young toddler can drown SILENTLY in minutes. It's a fear that will never leave me because I have a friend who lost a daughter that way. She was 14 months old. My friend got the bath going and stepped out for LESS than 2 minutes. When she came back in, her daughter's face was in the water and she wasn't moving. They did CPR and called 911. Their house was relatively small and she wasn't far away, but they heard nothing. Most likely her daughter stood up, slipped, and smacked her head, but there's no way to know for sure.

My DD is 2.5 and DH and I do not leave her alone in the bath. The most we will do is step outside the door to grab a towel from the closet that's next to the bathroom.


----------



## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

I make dd start singing a song if I know I have to run and get a towel or something that way I know she is okay. Our house is TINY, so even if I went to the farthest room, I would be able to hear her. I don't leave her unless she cooperates and sings and only if I really need to get something. If she stops singing, I run.


----------



## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kailey's mom* 
I make dd start singing a song if I know I have to run and get a towel or something that way I know she is okay. Our house is TINY, so even if I went to the farthest room, I would be able to hear her. I don't leave her unless she cooperates and sings and only if I really need to get something. If she stops singing, I run.









And not until older than the OP's child. I probably stayed all the time until age 4 and then was comfortable folding laundry or something right near by with checking every few minutes.

I figured bath time was a great time to clean the bathroom. Now that DS is older, my bathroom isn't nearly as clean as it was when I supervised all those baths!


----------



## laketahoemama (Aug 29, 2006)

When DS was about 3.5 I felt comfortable leaving the room while he bathed, but always within earshot. He was/is a very noisy bather







He's 5 now and I still stay within earshot. If the noise stops I check on him immediately.


----------



## mimie (Mar 7, 2003)

DD is three and in the past couple of months I have started leaving her to play in the bath while I am around the corner in her room (usually putting laundry away). Both doors stay open of course. She talks constantly, so as soon as I hear a lull in the chatter I call to her and she responds. Since she was about two, I have been comfortable going into another room to get something (book, drink, phone) and then coming right back into the bathroom.

OP - at your DD's age, I would be comfortable darting into the hallway or the adjacent room to grab a towel or something, but no farther. Maybe 10 seconds at most. You're definitely not being overprotective at this point by always being right there.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mimie* 
DD is three and in the past couple of months I have started leaving her to play in the bath while I am around the corner in her room (usually putting laundry away). Both doors stay open of course. She talks constantly, so as soon as I hear a lull in the chatter I call to her and she responds. Since she was about two, I have been comfortable going into another room to get something (book, drink, phone) and then coming right back into the bathroom.

OP - at your DD's age, I would be comfortable darting into the hallway or the adjacent room to grab a towel or something, but no farther. Maybe 10 seconds at most. You're definitely not being overprotective at this point by always being right there.


Thanks, mimie. You know, I don't think it had occurred to me that I might be being overprotective until last month when dd's paternal grandmother was here- she asked me if I had ever thought about letting dd take a bath by herself and when I thought she would be old enough to leave the room for a minute while she bathes. I said I felt she was too little to take a bath by herself, and that I hadn't really thought about when she would be old enough to be left for a minute. I asked Nana if she had ever left dd while bathing and she said no, that she wouldn't do something like that unless I told her I was comfortable with it. Then I thought about it and realized that my own mom lets my niece take a bath partly by herself, with my mom coming in and out of the room and staying close by, but not necessarily right next to my niece (who is two years and two months old).

I had forgotten about that conversation- I bet that it was in my subconscious the other day while I was contemplating this during dd's bath.


----------



## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

Between age 3 and 4. With the girls, we lived in a 2 story condo with the only bathroom upstairs. Everyone was upstairs when I gave baths. Joy and Erica bathed in the bathtube as I gave Angela a sponge bath at the bathroom sink. When she was done and dressed, I put her in the bassenette in our room and bathed the other 2. By the time Angela was old enough to join her sisters in the tub, Joy wanted to bathe alone. So Erica and Angela got their bath first; then Joy. With Joy, I was upstairs but not in the bathroom. She was close to age 7 then.

With Dylan, we lived in a singe story house with the bathroom just around the corner from the living room. When he was 3, close to age 4, I started letting him play in the tub alone before I came back in to wash him.


----------



## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Way way way too young. Heck, my 13 month old tries to stand up in the tub and she's not very steady. If she tried that and I had walked away, I'd never be able to catch her before she fell. Drowning isn't the only danger--hitting her head on the faucet is another huge danger. Inhaling water and filling her lungs when she gasped is another danger...

Heck, I think it's a great bonding time. She has 2 older siblings so her bath time is the one time where I'm focused just on her, laughing and talking to her.

My rule is if you can't bathe yourself, you need an adult in there at all times. My 6 year old just started being able to do all parts of his bath independently (washing, rinsing, etc.) so only recently have we left him in there alone (if it was a shower, we leave him in there alone and have since he was a young 5...). We still keep the door open and I'll go in there and check on him every couple minutes.


----------



## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

Well I do think some of the decision is child personality dependent. For example, DS has always been ultra cautious. Just now at 7 years old will he stand up and get out of the tub on his own - but only if one of us is there beside him. He's always been that way, so I'd be more inclined to pop around the corner for a second when he was younger. A friend on the other hand had a DD that was just wild in the tub and from the time she could stand would try to stand up and jump in the tub. Last I heard at age 5 she was still the same way! So no way I'd ever consider leaving a child like that unattended until they were on showers only or hit puberty probably!

At 13 months I don't think I was comfortable leaving the room with either of my kids. By 18 months I'd pop across the hall to their bedroom or to the linen closet. I did time it though, and we're talking under 10 seconds, so even if something had happened it would be a pretty immediate reaction. When DS was 4 and DD was 2 we started letting them take baths semi-attended. Again, part of that is personality though. DS has always been so protective of dd that if anything had happened we'd definitely had heard about it (again never more than a 2-3 sec walk away, and we did check frequently). DD is one that sings and talks and babbles without.ever.stopping. With her it's always been easy - if she's talking she's a-ok! They stopped taking baths together at the start of last summer, at almost 5 and 6.5. At that point we let them stay in there "unattended". I put that in quotes because even though they weren't bathing together, inevitably the other one would be kneeling outside the tub interacting with them. Now at 5.5 and 7.5 it's just not something we feel the need to worry about too much thankfully. Though we do keep a closer watch on DD - she loves her waterfalls too!


----------



## lalemma (Apr 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spicyrock* 
See, now you guys are making me feel a little guilty for asking! I've never left her alone even for five seconds before! I was just sitting in there the other day watching her play and wondered- could I run to the kitchen and grab a diet coke? Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?

Heh. This is _not_ the place to ask if you want non-alarmist answers to safety questions.









I think it also depends quite a bit on the individual child, but: for a child your daughter's age, I would probably feel comfortable, in your scenario, folding clothes right outside the door if I popped back in frequently and convinced her to keep up a conversation with me. I wouldn't feel comfortable being out of visual contact or hearing range for more than, I don't know... 15 seconds?


----------



## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Well.....







my 2 year old is happy to stay in the bath FOREVER playing with his toys and I just don't have the time to sit in the bathroom twiddling my thumbs for an hour every day. We have always lived in a one story setup; for example at my mom's house the bathroom is at the end of a short hallway, and the other end opens onto the living room/kitchen, with the bedrooms in between.

It's a pretty small house. So you can pretty much be anywhere in the house and still keep him in direct eyesight or close to it. Plus, he's pretty noisy since he likes to take his action figures in the tub and they seem to do a lot of fighting or something lol. So if it gets quiet and I'm in one of the bedrooms and can't see him directly, I will holler and he will holler back and we're good to go.

I do usually check on him every couple minutes in between throwing laundry in the wash, opening mail, laying out pajamas etc. but that is more because he gets water everywhere.

To directly answer the OP's question, I started leaving ds for VERY short periods (like to quickly turn off the stove or get his pajamas out) around 16 months, but I would not be comfortable leaving a 13 month old for more than the time it takes to grab a towel or a diaper or something. Ds was still pretty unsteady on his feet at 13 months and still liked to try to stand up in the tub.


----------



## Sheryl1678 (Sep 15, 2006)

My youngest is also 13 mo and my older daughter is almost 5. I stand outside the bathroom door with it wide open and fold laundry all the time. She is always bathing with her big sister who would be quick to signal me as well. On a rare occasion I will pop out of eyesight for a second or two but no longer. If she was alone I would not leave the room or the edge of the tub at all.


----------



## lafemmedesfemmes (Nov 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AllyRae* 
*My rule is if you can't bathe yourself, you need an adult in there at all times.* My 6 year old just started being able to do all parts of his bath independently (washing, rinsing, etc.) so only recently have we left him in there alone (if it was a shower, we leave him in there alone and have since he was a young 5...). We still keep the door open and I'll go in there and check on him every couple minutes.

the bolded is pretty much my rule, too-- or will be when ds1 is ready to start bathing himself. in our house, bath-time is for bathing only, so while there may be a little time for one child to play while i'm actively washing and rinsing the other, once the washing and rinsing are done, everyone gets out. the idea of reading a book or folding laundry or cleaning the bathroom while the kids splash around in the tub is far, far out of my range of experience.

as far as ducking out to replace a towel or something like that, i've been comfortable doing that once each child reached about 18 months old and was very steady on his feet.

christina


----------



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

I only just started going a few feet outside the bathroom to grab a towel when DS was around 3 3/4 yo. Just a couple of days ago (DS will be 4 yo next week,) I went to go grab a towel and DS decided to sit on the side of the tub and slipped over backwards hitting his head on the tile floor.







He was OK after a quick snuggle, but it could have been much worse.


----------



## Yuba_River (Sep 4, 2006)

I do think it is somewhat personality dependent. For us, DS was still pretty unpredictable at 13 months--he might try some acrobatic move at any moment, so we were within arms reach of him at all times. Now, at 2.5, I like to keep him in my line of sight at all times, but I'm OK being just outside the room--today I was doing some cleaning on the floor in the room just outside the bathroom, but I could see him at all times. I will pop into the other room to grab a book or something, but really just for a few seconds at a time. I have a friend who lost her little sister to drowning at this age, and that drove home for me the speed at which those kinds of accidents can happen.


----------



## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

For me, it depends on the child - and how far you are leaving them.
By the time my son was two - I felt comfortable enough to leave him a bit. That wasn't me going downstairs or into the kitchen to cook tea, etc. That was me just outside the bathroom folding laundry or something.

Hes a cautious boy...'boistrous' isn't even in his vocabulary. He has never tried to stand up and/or get out of the bath and won't go near the taps because he thinks our bath is like the pool and that end is the 'deep' end (probably because when I do bathe with him, thats the end I sit in! lmao). He is also pretty noisy playing! So I use my common sense.

Now at four, I venture 2 yards away to the computer when he has his monthly bath - because though he says he never wants a bath whilst he is getting in the bath, he ends up staying in there for like an hour! Fine by me, but I am not sitting there for an hour and can clearly hear him playing - so I know he is fine!

At 13 months...for my DS...not sure. He wasn't walking yet then and only just started sitting up on his own at 10 months. If he reached his milestones in a bit more of an 'average' way - then perhaps I would be okay just being outside the door or grabbing something real quick like. I think for me, I started the quick pop out - but deff pop back in - around 16 months or so.


----------



## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

When Dd1 was around 2 and I needed to get or do something, I would leave her in there for a minute or two. I could always hear her. She is almost 3 now and I basically put her in and let her have fun. We also live in a small apartment with the bathroom in the middle so i can see/hear her from the living room and bedrooms. But I feel completely safe and confident leaving her in the tub. Even if I get flamed for it. Dd2 if only 4 months so its a tad early =).


----------



## Jenifer76 (Apr 20, 2005)

Leave them completely alone - I haven't yet. They would play the whole time and never actually do any cleaning of their bodies. But I will pop in and out of the bathroom. I honestly can't remember when I started doing that. I think when DD was around 2 and DS was 5.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I think dd was 3 when I felt like she could handle a bath on her own. I wouldn't at 13 months at all. They try to stand up and walk in the bath.


----------



## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marlee* 
Well I'll go against the grain here. I wish to have no negative comments.

First my house is very small. Second I never have noise in my house like music or TV when the children are bathing. Third my children have very cautious and safe personalities yes children but very physically safe.

My first child bathed alone I'm sure by 13 months. Very often we would bathe together but when alone I didn't sit with her. She never splashed or moved quickly. She sat there and played with toys. I would open the door all the way and clean the bathroom or kitchen (3 steps from bathroom). No worries. If she were to slip and fall it's not like she is going to die or be anymore likely than if she fell walking around our house? Or drown? I am right there.

My 2nd has baths alone all the time as well. Now 17 months, maybe started around 12 months. He's splashes more and moves more so I put him in a 'baby tub' in the big tub so he doesn't walk around. He is supervised but I am not within arms reach and not visually watching all the time but always listening. Again the kitchen is 3 steps away. But I do have to step backwards from the counter to see him.

If they are both in I supervise visually much more like wash the bathroom floor.

My 4 year old bathes alone all the time and often with the door shut. Trust me if she get's any water on her face I am going to hear about it.

Oh and my children don't make a water mess very often. Usually the worst is throwing the soaking wet cloth on the floor.

I really wouldn't be that keen on bathing my children if I had to sit right there the whole time!

With both my children they will at times request company and then my bathroom gets very clean.

I feel my children are well supervised and in case of an accident I would be able to help them with what they need.


Wow. Just reading that terrifies me.


----------



## seaheroine (Dec 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tuckergirl* 
I rarely post over here, mostly a lurker, but this I HAVE to say something about.

I don't care how small a house is, a baby or young toddler can drown SILENTLY in minutes.

A big YEAH THAT. My sister actually had a silent seizure in the tub around two...thank god my Mom was sitting right there on the toilet. My sister just slipped under.

I don't think I'd even consider a 5yo old enough to be unsupervised - certainly not my 5yo niece. Maybe 7yo with the door open/cracked. I don't leave my 2yo for five seconds.


----------



## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

I feel comfortable leaving my 4.5 year old for several minutes, but not my 2.5 year old.


----------



## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I probably wouldn't at 13 months, but certainly by 2 I was leaving for a few minutes. My youngest son is now 3.5 and I'm usually in the other room most of his bathtime. Our house is fairly small, the bathroom's right in the center of the house and his bath time is a good time to clean up from dinner. Maybe if he were a quieter bather, I would worry, but he's constantly singing or talking so I know he's fine.

My older son is 7 and usually showers completely by himself downstairs.


----------



## mumkimum (Nov 14, 2006)

Well, probably closer to age 2 I'd do things in the hallway outside the bathroom or in other rooms nearby that were quick (ie. gather up laundry, etc.) with the bathroom door open while dd had her bath (sometimes these were REALLY LONG baths). At 3.5 now I'll run downstairs to get some clean laundry quickly or something like that, but I try to be on the same floor and able to see her or check in alot if I'm trying to do something where I can't. I spend most of the time sitting in the bathroom with her otherwise, and took the opportunity to do bathroom cleaningr.


----------



## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

I felt comfortable leaving my kids for small amounts of time once they were about four or so, or once I knew they could swim reasonably well. At 9 and almost 7, they now both draw their own bathwater and bathe themselves with no issues, although I do check each time to make sure they are actually soaping and washing.


----------



## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

At that age, I'll go around the corner for a second to get a towel or check on the other kids, or something, but never for more than ten seconds. At that age, they're still so unsteady on their feet, and very likely to fall, hit their heads, and slide under the water before you know what happened. Kids that age have drowned in puddles, or in only an inch of water in a pail.

By about 2 1/2, I might stay away a minute or two, but only if I can hear them chattering-- if the talking, singing, giggling, etc., stops, I fly in there.

But I do let my 5 year old bathe alone, with me on the same floor as her. I keep an ear on her-- if I can hear her talking and playing, she's okay, and I poke my head in every two or three minutes. If she gets silent, I fly in there to check she's okay.

It really is true that drowning can happen very quickly, and without a sound. I'm trying, as they get older, to strike a balance between being watchful, and giving them some room to develop independence. So I try to watch, without them knowing I'm watching, KWIM? That's why I'll sit just out of sight, outside the bathroom door, and just take a peek every half minute or so. So they feel alone and independent, but in reality I'm watching like a hawk.


----------



## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

Never that young...13 months is way too young, imo. My girls are 3 & 5 and they usually take baths together. I usually hang out in the bathroom with them, but I will run out to grab something and run back in. I don't leave them unattended for more than a few seconds at a time. I would probably feel okay with my 5 year old taking a bath (mostly) alone, but definitely not if her sister is in there with her.


----------



## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

I didn't really base it on an age, but we started playing the "how long can you hold your breath under water?" game during bath time.
About the time he was able to hold his face under water to the count of ten-ish is when I started darting in and out (mostly staying in).

I completely understand that this isn't a gurantee that he'd hold his breath if he fell over over knocked his head, but it did up my comfort level that he was able hold his breath that long. Going to the pool and swim lessons upped my confidence that he was safe in the bath by himself for longer periods of time

I think he was about 4...almost 5 when he started being able to do that. Up till that time I just wasn't comfortable...the risk outweighted the benefit for me. If I needed to be out of the bathroom that long for something that couldn't wait then I'd either postpone or shorten bathtime. However, we happen to have a fairly flexible evening routine....you might not.









He takes a shower now, but even now if he does take a bath I'm not usually out of the bathroom for more than 2 mins.
Besides, we live in a super small house so I could be to the bathroom in 15 steps even at the furthest part.









And, really, the kid never stops talking so anytime he pauses longer than a breath it peaks my alarm.


----------



## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

6 yrs old. Even then, I'm only about 10 ft away. And I keep the door open a little so that I can hear him.


----------



## claras_mom (Apr 25, 2006)

Three, maybe? That's what I'm remembering. Dd1 is one of those noisy, noisy bathers, so it was pretty easy to keep tabs on her from a short distance away (in our old house, the living room was no more than 10 feet from the bathroom). She's five now and I'm really comfortable having her in the bathroom by herself, albeit with the door wide open. Still very noisy.

Before that, she was usually in her duck tub, and bathing was a much shorter affair.


----------



## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Somewhere between 3 and 5, though I don't remember exactly, and it wasn't long periods at first. A little bit here and there. However at about the same age they both learned to be great swimmers, so we had less worries. With our youngest, she's still supervised and will be until she's well learned in the water.


----------



## PhotoJournMama (Aug 22, 2008)

At nearly two, I have never left my son in the bathtub alone - if I forget a towel, I will call my husband to bring one in for us. Some of these replies are really terrifying (and maybe a bit naive?). And I have to say, my son is extremely advanced (basically doing everything a 3 year old would do, just a bit shorter haha) and still, absolutely NO WAY.


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I am not even CLOSE to being overprotective. I was probably way underprotective. I let her play alone in the tub when she was almost three. But, I was in the chair right outside the bathroom. By age four, I filled the tub, got her cleaned, and she'd call me later to say "I need more hot water", Or "I'm ready to get out".


----------



## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PhotoJournMama* 
At nearly two, I have never left my son in the bathtub alone - if I forget a towel, I will call my husband to bring one in for us. Some of these replies are really terrifying (and maybe a bit naive?). And I have to say, my son is extremely advanced (basically doing everything a 3 year old would do, just a bit shorter haha) and still, absolutely NO WAY.

I dunno...i think your view is a little alarmist. what do you think is going to happen when you "go get a towel" (presumably a few feet from the bathroom? at least most homes are set up with linen closets near the bathroom), that you could prevent if you were, say, sitting in the bathroom? You might not react quickly enough if he fell, even if you were right there. Presumably if you ran to get a towel, and he did fall, have a seizure, start to drown i would imagine it would only take a few seconds to get to him.

I'm actually surprised to read that people are sitting IN the bathroom with a five or six yr old (as some others have said) for fear Something Bad Will Happen.

I think the biggest concern i have in leaving my two 2 yr olds in the tub "alone" is simply losing track of time, thinking i'm gone a minute or two but its five yknow? i live in a small apt and can pretty much hear and see the bathroom from every other room. The biggest issue i've had is them pouring water OUT of the tub.

My older son was bathing alone at three without incident, i'd check in, keep the door open, call out to him often, and the bathroom was situated so i could do other things around the main floor and still be close by.

I wouldnt leave a 13 month old though.


----------



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *queenjane* 
I dunno...i think your view is a little alarmist. what do you think is going to happen when you "go get a towel" (presumably a few feet from the bathroom? at least most homes are set up with linen closets near the bathroom), that you could prevent if you were, say, sitting in the bathroom?


Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
I only just started going a few feet outside the bathroom to grab a towel when DS was around 3 3/4 yo. Just a couple of days ago (DS will be 4 yo next week,) *I went to go grab a towel* and DS decided to sit on the side of the tub and slipped over backwards *hitting his head on the tile floor.*







He was OK after a quick snuggle, but it could have been much worse.

If I hadn't stepped out to get a towel, I'd have told him not to get up as soon as he started to stand, well before he turned around and sat on the side of the tub.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marlee* 
Well I'll go against the grain here.

No negative comments, just total jealousy that your kids SIT in the tub.







I've stepped over to grab a towel, in our tiny tiny bathroom, and turned back to see Lina's leg up on the side of the tub ready to try climbing over.

I do think that your kids are a bit unusual and that it'd take some observation and caution before someone could handle things with another child the way you can with them.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PhotoJournMama* 
At nearly two, I have never left my son in the bathtub alone - if I forget a towel, I will call my husband to bring one in for us. Some of these replies are really terrifying (and maybe a bit naive?). And I have to say, my son is extremely advanced (basically doing everything a 3 year old would do, just a bit shorter haha) and still, absolutely NO WAY.

Your child isn't even quite 2 yet, by your siggie, and an advanced 2-year-old is still a 2-year-old. My 3-year-old was reading, so was advanced, but that isn't why she could stay in the tub alone. Three year olds are as different from 2-year-olds as 2-year-olds are from 1-year-olds.


----------



## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Our house is tiny, and from 18 months or so, maybe even a little sooner, I would do stuff, going back and forth past the bathroom, while they were in the tub. They were chatty, noisy, etc . . . I could always hear that they were fine.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spicyrock* 
This isn't an issue of un-preparedness. It is one of curiosity about when other moms are comfortable doing some multi-tasking while their children are bathing, and how those comfort levels progress with the age of the child.

WELL the original post also asked about running REAL quick to get a diet coke. IT should gotten beforehand. A child that young should NEVER ever be left alone in the tub. EVER.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Also, this is a HUGE safety no no. I could understand reaching around the corner for a towel(best to have it BEFOREHAND) , but I'd never leave the room to fold laundy..go to another room.. etc. Children can drown without you hearing a PEEP.. or for moms without faucet covers they could hit their heads/turn on the HOT water,etc. PLEASE do not leave young toddlers in the bathtub. I'm begging you all.


----------



## lalemma (Apr 21, 2009)

The op did not ask for our best lectures, she asked how old your child was when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lalemma* 
The op did not ask for our best lectures, she asked how old your child was when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room.

My post wasn't JUST for the OP it was in general for anyone.


----------



## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

well, at 13 mos I would say you shouldn't leave them much further than arms length away, much less out of sight. Without me keeping an eye on them? I would say 4-5 yrs old, depending on kiddo and my home set-up.

As it is now, all four of my kids prefer showers and almost never take a bath, so it's not even an issue. I am okay with my 5, 7, and 9 yo taking a shower by themselves, and probably would be so with a bath if I was upstairs on the same level as they were bathing. Our house is big, though, so the thought of even the 5 yo up in the bath by himself for more than a min. or so is a bit scary.

I wouldn't call this over-protective. We are talking about water here, which can be deadly in a matter of seconds.

Grab a coke and extra towel before even running the bath water.


----------



## RoadBuddy (May 19, 2005)

DS is 33 months and I'll leave for a minute or less (within close earshot, door open) to throw his clothes in the hamper or grab something. Our upstairs is small - a square landing with 4 doors off it, one for each bedroom and one for the bathroom - so if I'm anywhere upstairs I'm very close to the bath.

But it depends on your child. DS sits in the bath, playing with letters or a boat. He's not a roughhousing kind of kid, so I don't worry about him standing and jumping around the tub in the 30 seconds I'm gone. I also don't fill the tub all the way, and our water heater is set low enough that the hottest water wouldn't be dangerous.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bebebradford* 
WELL the original post also asked about running REAL quick to get a diet coke. IT should gotten beforehand. A child that young should NEVER ever be left alone in the tub. EVER.

Since you read my posts so carefully, you must have also noticed that I said I have never left my daughter alone in the bath, for any length of time at all. Not for forgotten towels, not for diet cokes, not for chores I don't have time to finish. Therefore, your tone seems a little unnecessary.

Still, I don't think there is anything wrong with wondering what it might be like for both of us to have a little bit more freedom, or wondering when the day will come that my very, very loved and cared for and protected dear daughter will be old enough to leave alone for five seconds in the bath.


----------



## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

OP here, home from a long day at work and ready for my baby to wake up and eat some dinner so we can make a big mess and then play in the bath!

See, I really meant it when I said that I enjoy dd's bathtime, and that my question was mostly for curiosity and future planning's sake. And I really appreciate all of the thoughtful and useful answers that have leaned in that direction...

What stands out to me the most about these responses is that I see good moms who know their children and who give thought-out answers that make sense, yet those answers run the gamut from 18 months to six years, and even extend a little bit beyond those boundaries.

I know my daughter will be able to take a bath by herself before she is four or five... but it is reassuring to know that it is not abnormal for me to sit right next to her while she plays in the tub now. And that there are at least some moms out there who won't think I am an awful person if I leave her side for ten or fifteen seconds, whatever my reason might be.


----------



## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

I know you've already got your answer, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I considered the same things when DS was that age. I was just starting to think, "Oh, I can just go grab the phone/a towel/the laptop and come back" but hadn't dared to yet, when he suddenly slipped backward and would have gone under the water if I hadn't been RIGHT THERE. He was sitting, not standing, not about to stand, just sitting and shifted his weight a little on an apparently slippery spot. He was so scared, and I caught him just before his whole head went under, so I saw what could have been if I'd chosen that moment to turn my back.

Now he's 2, and I occasionally run out for a towel but I try not to, b/c now he's really flinging himself around in there!


----------



## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spicyrock* 
See, now you guys are making me feel a little guilty for asking! I've never left her alone even for five seconds before! I was just sitting in there the other day watching her play and wondered- could I run to the kitchen and grab a diet coke? Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?

I guess the consensus will be- no! Good thing I have you mamas to ask









:-( Don't feel guilty at all. No one figures anything out if they don't ask.
I think it depends a lot on the kid. How steady they are, how their motor skills are, how nervous they are etc.
Both my kids were 2 1/2. My son is now 3 and 4 months and he just calls me in to wash him. I can do the dishes and whatever. As long as I can hear him, he's fine alone. I don't go outside and clean out the car or vacuum or anything but for the most part, he's alone.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Op.. hun, I'm sorry if I came off the wrong way. I DID read your posts carefully. I never said you DID leave her alone. I'm just saying it's a bad idea.. that's all. I've read so many HORROR stories.







Kids can drown in just a couple inches of water. More than likely they would be fine... but it's just risky. My tone wasn't supposed to be hateful.. it was more worried. I would hate for ANYTHING bad to happen to any child. It IS tempting to run and grab something,etc. I understand that, but then all the information about children and bathtub safety rush in.


----------



## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swd12422* 
I know you've already got your answer, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I considered the same things when DS was that age. I was just starting to think, "Oh, I can just go grab the phone/a towel/the laptop and come back" but hadn't dared to yet, when he suddenly slipped backward and would have gone under the water if I hadn't been RIGHT THERE. He was sitting, not standing, not about to stand, just sitting and shifted his weight a little on an apparently slippery spot. He was so scared, and I caught him just before his whole head went under, so I saw what could have been if I'd chosen that moment to turn my back.

Now he's 2, and I occasionally run out for a towel but I try not to, b/c now he's really flinging himself around in there!

It's stories like these that have me staying in the bathroom and hovering like a hawk . Thank you for sharing! I'm so glad your babe was okay!!!


----------



## hopefulfaith (Mar 28, 2005)

I haven't read the whole thread, but if the OP is still wondering, mine are 4 & 3 and we started around age 3 with both. I don't exactly go rake the yard while the kids are in the bath, but I don't feel bad if I'm beebopping around the bathroom/kitchen/living room doing stuff when I can hear them playing and singing, etc.


----------



## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tuckergirl* 
I rarely post over here, mostly a lurker, but this I HAVE to say something about.

I don't care how small a house is, a baby or young toddler can drown SILENTLY in minutes. It's a fear that will never leave me because I have a friend who lost a daughter that way. She was 14 months old. My friend got the bath going and stepped out for LESS than 2 minutes. When she came back in, her daughter's face was in the water and she wasn't moving. They did CPR and called 911. Their house was relatively small and she wasn't far away, but they heard nothing. Most likely her daughter stood up, slipped, and smacked her head, but there's no way to know for sure.

My DD is 2.5 and DH and I do not leave her alone in the bath. The most we will do is step outside the door to grab a towel from the closet that's next to the bathroom.

Thank you for sharing this story. Drowning absolutely can be silent.

My DS is 3 and I don't leave him alone for a second, although I can see that some 3 year olds would be fine by themselves for a very short period of time. I would never leave any child under the age of 3 alone for any length of time though.


----------



## olien (Apr 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spicyrock* 
Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?

I havent read all of the posts, but bring the clothes into the bathroom with you.

DS is almost 18mo & I often feel silly just sitting there while he is happily playing not engaging me at all (even when I try). So now I read or knit sitting on the floor next to the tub.


----------



## bmhpke96 (Sep 30, 2004)

I haven't read this whole thread, but I leave my 3 and 4 year olds, who bathe together, alone. I've been doing this for probably the last 6 months or so. I can hear them playing and splashing around and they know to call for me if anything should happen to either of them.


----------



## bmhpke96 (Sep 30, 2004)

Wanted to add: I do still take a bath with my DS, or I supervise while he is in the bath with his sisters.


----------



## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

My 3rd who is 14 months I don't leave in the bathtub. I have stepped about 5 steps away to the closet right outside the bathroom door to grab a towel. But he's not *alone* he is with his siblings, and we are talking 3 seconds.
He also walks and stands, that is *why* it's dangerous--attempting to walk in a slippery tub has caused him to fall with me RIGHT THERE.

My kids who are 3 and 5, I started leaving when I knew they'd stay sitting. I still am *always* within earshot and usually stay in just because otherwise they splash all over.

My 5 year old has taken showers alone in the past 6 months. I make sure they actually WASH.


----------



## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Ds is 5 and I just started stepping out of the bathroom in the past year. Before swimming lessons last year, he absolutely would not put his head under water. I feared if he slipped under water he would panic.

Now I leave the room, but he plays quietly so I stay close by. I often yell out "how's it going?" if I hear a couple moments of silence.

A couple months ago he did slip while I happened to be right there and it did scare me because if I hadn't caught him he could have hit his head. But then, I suppose that same thing could happen when he's 7.

At 13 months, I probably did run out real quick to grab a towel or something if I had to. But I literally moved as fast as I could. I remember one time I had to let the sick dog outside. Normally though, I wouldn't do it.


----------



## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I would not leave a one or even a two year old alone except to reach around the corner to grab a towel or something like that.

3-4, I'm OK with them being by themselves for a minute or two, as I gather their clothes or get a book for myself to read. I'd leave a 5-6 yo alone as long as I could hear him and he knew to respond verbally when I called him to check on him. But I still wouldn't go to another floor of the house, or very far away, yk?


----------



## Bug-a-Boo's Mama (Jan 15, 2008)

I would not leave a thirteen month old in the tub alone in the bathroom. DS was about two when I started leaving him 'alone' in the bathroom. But I would go into the room directly across from him. I found that when I did this, he played better and longer in the tub. I could see and hear him the entire time, so there would have been no delay if something had happened.


----------



## minkleaf (Nov 7, 2009)

I think DD1 was 3 before I would leave the room and sit about 20 feet away, within line of sight. When DD2 was about 2 and in the bath with her sister (3 years older) I'd leave for the same chair. After I was reasonably sure she would stay seated. But if she took the bath by herself I was in the room too. I think I was in the bathtub with them until they could easily stand up on their own. Now at 3 and 6 I remain within easy earshot at all times or tell DH to keep an ear on them if I have to go upstairs for a moment.


----------



## Momily (Feb 15, 2007)

I've told this story before, but when I left my 6 year old alone in the bathroom for the first time, my well behaved, cautious, super coordinated, had been swimming since 2 child, he got up on his knees (he wanted to rinse his bottom), slipped and broke his front tooth off.

I was in the next room, with the door open, and no other noise (he's an only child) and the only thing I heard was crying. If he'd been knocked out, I wouldn't have heard anything.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Momily* 
I've told this story before, but when I left my 6 year old alone in the bathroom for the first time, my well behaved, cautious, super coordinated, had been swimming since 2 child, he got up on his knees (he wanted to rinse his bottom), slipped and broke his front tooth off.

I was in the next room, with the door open, and no other noise (he's an only child) and the only thing I heard was crying. If he'd been knocked out, I wouldn't have heard anything.

So is your 6-year-old no longer allowed to bathe alone? That could happen to you, too. Do you ever bathe alone?


----------



## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

Quote:

he suddenly slipped backward and would have gone under the water if I hadn't been RIGHT THERE. He was sitting, not standing, not about to stand, just sitting and shifted his weight a little on an apparently slippery spot. He was so scared, and I caught him just before his whole head went under
This exact thing has happened to DD *twice*. I was watching both times and caught the back of her head in time, before it smacked against the back of the tub and before her face went under all of the way.

I have wondered when she will be ready, but for now I stay right there... cleaning the bathroom and talking about dinosaurs.

Trin.


----------



## alaskaberry (Dec 29, 2006)

3 1/2 y/o. And I leave the door open, and stay not far away so I can hear him. Unless of course his 13 m brother is taking a bath with him...then I sit with them. They also sit on the bath mat, less slipping that way! We don't actually have running water, so I'm just talking about when visiting relatives for the holidays--at home they bathe in a rubbermaid tote.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Just saw something relevant to this discussion. ER visits related to bathtubs peak around 2 years old--for head injuries from falling in the tub.


----------



## MrsBone (Apr 20, 2004)

Wow, makes me think I should be more cautious of my 13 month old! I run into the kitchen to grab a drink, or grab a diaper. I'm never more than 10 seconds away though.


----------



## Geist (Jan 27, 2010)

Oy. I've been doing this a while now and my son's only 17 months. He does very well in water and has excellent balance. The only time he slips and falls is when he gets in and out of the bathtub (he throws all his toys out of the bathtub and then climbs out, throws them back in, then climbs back in and repeats). I'm not away the whole time, but I do leave while he plays, wandering back and forth and DH always has him in line of sight from his office while he bathes. Plus, we never fill the bathtub so full his whole head could fit under the water anyway. Everyone has their own comfort levels, I guess


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Geist* 
Plus, we never fill the bathtub so full his whole head could fit under the water anyway.

What does that have to do with anything? It's the mouth being covered that's the problem.

Plus, the main danger isn't submersion, it's hitting his head when he slips getting in and out of the tub like you say he does all the time (slipping while getting in and out).

It's good to have the water shallow, but it doesn't mean he's safe. If anything, you'd check on him more often with deeper water.


----------



## ilovemygirl (Sep 8, 2008)

I haven't read the responses but see this thread is long so I don't know if I can add anything that hasn't already been said.
I am admittedly ridiculously overprotective. My dd is 2.5 and not only have I never ever left her alone in the tub but I still squeeze her into that plastic blue infant to toddler bathtub. I've never needed to but maybe around this age now I'd run for a second to grab a towel or the phone.
I do leave her in her playroom and living room while I do chores and check in on her every five minutes or so. I realize anything can happen anywhere but the bathtub is just so scary imo. A child can drown, burn themselves or slip and fall so easily that I just wouldn't want to risk it.
I should also say though that we don't really have playtime in the bath. I bathe her about twice a week and it's pretty much about five minutes .. a down to business let's get washed and move on kind of thing. If she wanted to play for an hour a day in the tub I guess I might feel differently.


----------



## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovemygirl* 
I haven't read the responses but see this thread is long so I don't know if I can add anything that hasn't already been said.
I am admittedly ridiculously overprotective. My dd is 2.5 and not only have I never ever left her alone in the tub but I still squeeze her into that plastic blue infant to toddler bathtub. I've never needed to but maybe around this age now I'd run for a second to grab a towel or the phone.
I do leave her in her playroom and living room while I do chores and check in on her every five minutes or so. I realize anything can happen anywhere but the bathtub is just so scary imo. A child can drown, burn themselves or slip and fall so easily that I just wouldn't want to risk it.
*I should also say though that we don't really have playtime in the bath. I bathe her about twice a week and it's pretty much about five minutes .. a down to business let's get washed and move on kind of thing. If she wanted to play for an hour a day in the tub I guess I might feel differently*.

I had to smile at the fact that you still use the little tub







We switched when he was about 6 months as it was so much easier.

Does she not like to play in the water? DS loves bath time for playing....it is great for learning too...measuring and pouring....we also have foam bath letters that he uses to spell out words and names...and water instruments that you fill up at different levels for different tones....He's not in there for an hour but a good 15minutes or so of water play every 2-3 days (more often when he plays outside)


----------



## MrsBone (Apr 20, 2004)

Wow, after reading everyone's response, it makes me definitely decide that I'm not going to leave my 13 mo. old's sight! Ethan loves bath time, so it's a good time to get stuff done, but I'll definitely move that 'stuff' into the bathroom so I don't leave his side. Folding laundry, cleaning the bathroom, all good ideas! Thanks everyone for the reality check.


----------



## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

I don't think you're being overprotective at all, my DS is about the same age & I would never even be out of arm's reach of him during his bath, never mind leave the room!

Hard for me to say a specific age because I think it depends on the child but maybe when they're 5 or 6? And then still it would only be for a minute or two. I think until they're old enough to take showers alone I would not leave them in the bath themselves.


----------



## Anastasiya (Jun 13, 2006)

Well, in our house we bathe our kids in a 20 gallon rope tub bucket.

So baby has his bath usually in the kitchen while I putter around doing other things. He's 11 months old. I fill the bucket with about 2 inches of water. Then when he's done playing I wash him up and take him out.

Yes, he's stood up and slipped, but he's in a plastic bucket and can't really crack his head anywhere. And he's also slipped into the water, but it's not deep enough to do anything. (He can't land face first in the bucket, no matter how he tries to contort himself).

The older kids bathe in the same sized bucket in the bathroom, in an empty bathtub. I pretty much leave them all (5 and under) alone but the bath is right at the end of our hallway so I see a clear shot of them anyway.

Considering that an average bathtub holds 25 gallons of water when filled halfway, we're saving lots of water by using the rope tub!







The water in the rope tub stays warmer longer, too.

ETA: And the tub stays cleaner, too! No tub scum!


----------



## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Just saw something relevant to this discussion. ER visits related to bathtubs peak around 2 years old--for head injuries from falling in the tub.

That's true. When my youngest was 2.5, dh and I were both right beside the tub, talking with him. He stood up, slipped and smacked his forehead off the side of the bath tub. So while you absolutely should watch your kid in the tub, things can still happen.


----------



## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anastasiya* 
Well, in our house we bathe our kids in a 20 gallon rope tub bucket.

So baby has his bath usually in the kitchen while I putter around doing other things. He's 11 months old. I fill the bucket with about 2 inches of water. Then when he's done playing I wash him up and take him out.


This is an awesome idea!


----------



## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Geist* 
Plus, we never fill the bathtub so full his whole head could fit under the water anyway.

Children can drown in an inch of water.


----------



## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Given how badly my daughter injured herself _while I was in the bath with her_ because I lost my grip because she was slippery I'm jut not willing to believe that I'm a miracle worker and can prevent all injuries. They happen. Did I feel bad? Yes. Did she feel bad? Yes. Did she recover? Yes. I have injured myself in the bathroom countless times as a full grown person as well. I refuse to be hysterical.

That said, my daughter is 20 months and I will now go get a towel as the bath is filling. That's the furthest I've ever been from her in the bathtub.


----------



## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

My DD will be 4 in April, she never has a bath totally alone, but i rarely spend an entire bath time right there either. I potter about nearby - she only has a bath on her own about 10% of the time i wash her anyway. Mostly she has a shower or a bath with me. In those cases i run the bath, pop her in, strip, get in myself, wash, get out, dry off and dress in whatever i'm wearing after and then get her out - if whatever i'm wearing is in another room i will leave her to it, but not for more than a few minutes. I am not at all worried about her drowning at this stage, it's more that she enjoys chats (24/7, in the bath is no exception) and likes company.

At 13 months she couldn't stand yet, and i still bathed her mainly in the kitchen sink, so i was right there. When she fit in it (until about 9months) i bathed her in the tummy tub, which you'd be hard-pressed to drown in (i.e. get out, turn around and dive back in head first) but i still never left her (of course). I was never very worried about drowning actually, but i have a friend who's a dentist who told me once that about 90% of the work he does on under-3's is for smashed teeth from falling in the bath, and i have several friends whose kids (all boys, probably by chance) have broken teeth in the bath.

I think i began popping out to get things when DD was around 14 months if she was in her baby tub in the big tub, but she was probably in that arrangement maybe once a month (when the kitchen sink was full of dishes). I'd be real fast. In my defence (not that i need one since nothing untoward ever occurred, even if that was luck rather than judgement) i was a single parent - i could have hollered for a week for a towel but no-one was there to care or help. The vast majority of the time i was there, and i was very well organised, but if something unexpected happened (like the towel or nappy was dragged into the water, or she pooped in the bath water, or some other thing which meant i HAD to leave the room again to fetch something) i just dealt. I would get her to start counting or singing so i could hear she was ok, and i would run.

I'm not very alarmist about it all. Children CAN drown in an inch of water, but there are a million things which CAN happen and it's just that we're more aware of some of them. I know of a kid who took a swig of a fizzy water at about 13 months (he wasn't given it, he'd swiped it) and choked a little. He was fine right away without help (no-one had to tip him up or rap his back or anything), and his mother moved the drink and kept an eye on him. He went to bed seeming perfectly fine and was dead when she went to get him up. He'd died of secondary drowning. Something which is so unlikely to happen the coroner said it was near-impossible, but there it was in front of them.

I'm gonna get me a 20gallon tub!


----------



## FondestBianca (May 9, 2008)

There is no way I would let very mobile, curious, 14 month old ds take a bath without me in the room. He and 4 y/o dd usually take a bath together and even with her watching I don't leave. Ds likes to stand, climb, and dunk his face for fun. He slips on occasion landing on his back. He panics when water rushes over his head then tries to claw his way out of the bath until I calm him down. When he pours water over his head on purpose it's all fun a games but when it's an accident he panics. Ds was walking at 9 months, running about 2 weeks later, climbs and prolem solves all day long... but his level of mobility and ability by no means indicates he should be left alone in the bath.

Dd is 4.25 and only after 3.5 or so did I start leaving the bathroom for any period of time. I'll check on dinner right around the corner, answer the phone, grab a towel or clothes, etc.... but if I'm going to be longer than a minute I make sure she is talking, singing, or doing something that allows me to hear her. She likes to play pretend in the bath so she's usually talking anyway. She has never been the type to stand in the bath (like ds) or do dangerous things for fun (like ds) but, thats an area where I'd rather not take any chances so early. She doesn't happen to be in the bath alone often anymore because she prefers taking a bath with her brother and I'm not comfortbale leaving him alone. While I know dd would call me if anything happened and help her brother stay safe I'm not comfortable witht hat scenerio.

But honestly, there is nothing so important you need to leave a babe that young. Not to be judgemental or rude but, I'm totally puzzled by the idea of a 13 month old alone in a slippery bath of water.


----------



## Geist (Jan 27, 2010)

Quote:

What does that have to do with anything? It's the mouth being covered that's the problem.

Plus, the main danger isn't submersion, it's hitting his head when he slips getting in and out of the tub like you say he does all the time (slipping while getting in and out).

It's good to have the water shallow, but it doesn't mean he's safe. If anything, you'd check on him more often with deeper water.
Mainly because then he can't drown from submersion alone...he'd have to have something keeping his head under. Even young babies, when they can't breathe, struggle and move their head to the side. The biggest danger is that he would hit his head, but that's a danger with everyone, not just a small child. There's no preventing anyone from slipping, aside from no one taking baths. This is why there's always one of us nearby. It's not like we put him in the tub and then pop off to the store. If I'm not in the bathroom, I'm in the kitchen (right next door to the bathroom) and my husband is in his office, right down the hall, where he can see our son from his desk.
I don't see the point of being in the bathroom the whole time. He falls just as frequently.

Quote:

Children can drown in an inch of water.
As can adults, if they are unable to move their head. The amount of water is most important when the head (and, the rest of the child) can move. It makes it more likely for drowning to occur.


----------



## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I'm comfortable leaving my 4yo for a minute so I can go grab something or flip the laundry. With my 2yo, I'm still in the room the whole time.


----------



## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

Ds is 2.5 and takes baths on his own, he can wash his hair/body (I do a once-over too). He can climb out on his own, but I've taught him not to stand in the bath, so he just yells when he is done so I can supervise him getting out (which is the dangerous part) Usually Im in the sewing room (which connects to the bathroom) w/ the door open, so I can hear him the whole time, if he gets quiet I go check on him, its always when he lays on his back to rinse his hair!

As soon as I trusted him to not stand in the bath, I havent been sitting in there the whole time (around 20months old)

Also, he did take ISR lessons at 19months, and learned how to hold his breath, turn to his back for air, look for the side, grab on etc.... at that age I was letting him jump in the pool and swim to the steps with me just sitting with my feet in the water, he never had a problem.


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

My oldest started showering on his own at about 18 months - in a shower stall type shower, not a tub. It was in the master bathroom, and I wouldn't go farther than the bedroom itself. I'm not sure how old in the bathtub - I think I would leave for short bursts of time when he was around 4 1/2 and dd was around 2. The two of them were so loud in the bath tub that I could hear them from any corner of our tiny apartment. I'd say I let dd and ds2 stay alone for short periods of time when dd was around 3 1/2 and ds was aroun 18 months - I'm nto sure though, it might have been later. DD will be 7 in June and ds is 4 and a few months and they still bathe together. We have a much bigger house now, and I'm not comfortable going down stairs or anything, but anywhere on the same floor is fair game for me at this point. I would let dd take a bath completely unsupervised, but ds still needs some supervision.


----------



## jacie87 (Jan 17, 2009)

I started letting DD be in the bath alone between 16-18 months while I was in the next room folding clothes, as long as the door was open. However, now she is two and has discovered that if she puts her mouth in the water, she can blow bubbles (my fault for showing her the last time we had a bath together), so I'm in there with her constantly now. I probably won't let DD2 bathe alone so early though.


----------



## Abraisme (Mar 8, 2009)

My DS was somewhere between 2-3 when I started leaving him alone. I would however run to the other room and grab my phone or a drink or whatever before 2. He's 6 now and has been bathing alone full time for a few years. Yes, he's made some messes, but nothing that can't be cleaned up. I agree with the others that 13mo is too young to leave alone for more than a few seconds..


----------



## KaliShanti (Mar 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *treemom2* 
With DD I would sit outside the door and read or something at 2 years old. I'd even go get a drink. Granted, I could always hear her singing or babbling and if she stopped I'd say her name and she would respond with an I'm okay or start singing again. Unless she talks a lot or makes a lot of verbal noises, I don't think I'd be comfortable leaving her. It also depends on how big your place is.

This is what I do with my almost-3-year old. We have a very small house. I stay where I can hear him, and he is very loud when playing in the bath. If he gets quiet, I say, "Say, 'Mama." and he replies, "Mama".


----------



## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

I don't have a LO yet but my first response when reading the initial question was 5 with checking up to make sure they wash ect.

2 I could see stepping out for a minute or two but 13 months is just way to young IMO. stepping out to grab a towel sure since they are still in eye site.

Not to be a snarky comment or anything like that so I don't want people to take it that way, but I guess I just assumed it would be common sense for the most part. But maybe that has to do with all the baths I had to give while babysitting and with my neices and nephews too so for me it is just more on the common sense side of things.


----------



## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

My youngest is 4 and she bathes all the time! I simply _cannot_ sit there with her! She takes a bath at least once a day and is in there for HOURS! I check in on her, or call her name. I may lay in the bed and read a book (the bathroom is in the master bedroom), but usually I'm not even on the same floor as she is. I don't know if I would have done it younger (I may have around 3.5, I don't remember) because the frequent looooooong baths are a relatively new development. She's a _very_ calm bather.

My 6yo bathes alone, and did when she was 5, but I don't think I let her bathe alone at 4 because she was a very active bather and made thumping and splashing noises that had me running LOL. I would chill out on the bed, not sit right there next to the tub, but still...


----------



## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

Well mine are 5, 5, and 7, when they were younger, (under 3) never. I could just never trust that one wouldn't try to stand up, slip, hit their head on the faucet, the edge, their sister/brother. I'd grab a book though, and sometimes a glass of wine, fold a comfy towel over the toilet lid and relax while they splashed and played.

As they got older I'd find something to do in the hall outside the open bathroom door, usually fold laundry.

Now I just stay on the same floor and check in every few minutes, I still wash their hair for them too. Usually though, I just end up folding laundry again. Hmmm, I kind of miss my good book and glass of wine time though!

Oh another thing - THE MESS!!! You'll be surprised at how much water kids can get OUT of the tub onto the floor in the 90 seconds you're out of the bathroom!


----------



## Shannie77 (Jan 16, 2007)

I am comfortable leaving my almost 3 year old while I go to our bedroom and get something, or step our for a couple of minutes. Our upstairs is very small and I can hear her from any room easily. She basically sings the whole time she is in the bath, so that is reassuring.

At 13 months I don't think I left her for more then a few seconds (our linen closet is right out the door). At 13 months my DD had been walking for a few months, and was extremely mobile. She would try to climb out of the tub or do other acrobatics. For the most part I still showered with her anyways so she didn't bathe very often. But around 2 was when I started leaving her to go get a book or toy from another room.


----------



## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I think I was OK stepping out 10 steps to grab a towel when they were about 18 mo. or so, but we really are talking about a 2 second grab. Beyond that, I think I stayed in the room until they were about 2 or 2 1/2 or so, when I started in and out but always within about a 2 room radius of the bathtub. About 4 I was comfortable leaving them alone in the shower (which they preferred by that age) and in the bathtub as long as the door was open and I could hear them. By 5 I was coming in just to wash DD's hair (DS has super short hair and could do it on his own by 4). DD just turned 7 and now I am comfortable with her being completely independent and I don't even worry about being on the same floor of the house.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm pretty laidback about a lot of things, including the bathtub.

That said, I honestly don't remember how old ds1 was, as we kind of morphed from leaving for a second, to leaving for a minute, to spending part of the bath out of visual range, but within hearing, etc.

DH supervises most baths for dd1 and ds2. They're mostly alone now, but dh pops in to check on them periodically, and is in either the hallway outside or in our room (next door down the hall), with both doors open. DD1 is almost 7, and ds2 is 4.5. We feel that they're probably safe, but would rather be sure they're behaving in a safe fashion, _and_ not trashing the bathroom.

At 13 months, I can't see myself leaving a child at all. I _might_ pop out into the hallway to grab a towel or cloth, if I'd forgotten them...but I could more-or-less do that without taking my eyes off them. Our linen closet door is on the same side as the bathroom door, and only a few inches away. I'd have to look away long enough to see what I was grabbing, but that's it. I don't even know for sure if I'd do that, as I never actually have.


----------

