# Anyone planning to start ttc right away?



## BigBelly03 (Dec 3, 2002)

I lost the baby on Saturday, Dec. 21st and all I can think about is getting pregnant again as soon as possible. I am still bleeding, did not have a d & c. Is anyone else ttc immediately, first cycle after m/c? I had my last m/c in June 2001, and I ovulated 10 days later. I am wondering now when I will ovulate next. Dh is fine with ttc immediately too.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

First let me say how sorry I am that you lost your baby. This must be breaking your heart.

As far as TTC right away. Only you can make the choice that's right for you. Most doctors and midwifes will suggest you wait 3 months to give the uterus proper time to heal. However, having gone through this, I remember how desperastely I wanted another child. I sometimes think I was on 'Mission Pregnancy'. It's all I thought about day and night.

Many of the mothers feel this way. However, some women are very afraid of another pregnancy and choose to wait. It's so different for every woman. Whatever you decide, your choice will be supported in this forum.

When your cycle will start again is another issue too. For most it's 2-3 months. However, it's not uncommon for it to start right away (like yours did) or to start 3-6 months later. Every woman's body is different, just as every pregnancy is differnt.

Many women find it's not allways necessary to have a D&C. It is very safe to allow your body to miscarry on it's own. The three things you want to be cautious about are; running a high feaver, bleeding heavily (1-2 pads per hour), and achy-flu like symptoms. These 3 would be a concern and I would erge you to call your doctor or midwife right away.

In the meen time, please take good care of yourself. Keep your body hydrated and rest whenever possible. Feel free to come here and talk as much as you need. The women who come to this forum are gentle, loving mothers and the support is beautiful.

Again, I'm so sorry about your loss, I'll be thinking of you tonight.

Gently,

Jacque


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## Eman'smom (Mar 19, 2002)

I'm so sorry you lost your baby, we lost our on the 11 of this month. The on call dr. I saw at the time said I needed to wait a month.
By the way I refused the d and c and miscarried "fine" all on my own.

As far as trying again, dh doesn't want to wait at all, he is convinced that if I can't or shouldn't get pregnant I won't. I'm not so sure, I want to try again right now to prove to myself that I can get and stay pregnant, I currently feel very defective. I don't think we will try this month only because I've been so depressed I haven't been intrested in doing stuff that would make a baby.









My unexpert advice would be if you are both ready to go for it. I know that if I got pregnant this month I'd feel overjoyed and wonderful about it.

Good luck with what you choose and I'm sorry you are going through this again


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## naotalba (May 29, 2002)

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your baby.
I am waiting for my miscarriage to begin right now (the baby died), and I've been going back and forth on when to start trying again. Because it took me over a year to get pregnant, I feel like starting right away isn't very likely to be a problem since it will probably take me more than 2-3 months to get pregnant. On the other hand, I know when I get pregnant again, I will be terrified, and adding one more risk factor will make it that much more stressful.
I think we will probably only wait one month, unless I end up needing a d&c (which I understand your uterus needs longer to heal from).
I agree with the previous posters, also, that this is your decision, and if it feels right to you, then that is what you should do.


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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

My thoughts are with you as you go through this time. It is so hard, and I hope you are taking care of yourself. and letting yourself grieve.

Dh and I have been ttc. I did wait until I had two cycles. Also I was waiting to have a clear pap ( I had a cercical cancer scare after my m/c) I even purchased the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It has helped but it is a gigantic book and I don't have time to read it all the way through with my almost three year old keeping me busy, so I skimed it. it was helpful, but I think the charting and the temperature taking and the mucous testing made me anxious and after dh and I had a busy week







I took three pregnancy tests over a two week time and each one showed I wasn't pregnant. i kept on hoping they were wrong. Today i am sure I am not pregnant....'aunt flow' is here. but there is next month and we will be on vacation then so........I am sprinking baby dust all over. I'll sprinkle some your way...

peace and blessings,
Beth


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

My heart goes out to all of you that have experinced recent losses. It is truly heartbreaking.

We also wanted to concieve as soon as we could. I concieved in the middle of August... 5 months after Xiola's death (she died at term during labor). I may have concieved sooner but my cycles were shorter then before (25-26 days instead of 28-29) so I was missing my O, when we BD'd on cd11&12 instead of 14, we nailed the timing and we are now at 21 weeks with our second child.

My doc told me that we could try when we felt ready, that if my body was'nt ready then we would not concieve till it was. Also, she felt that since my nutrition was so good during my pregnancy that this baby would not be put at a disadvantage. So while I know it's hard to have any appetite when you are so sad, do try to eat well... it will help you concieve your next baby.

Also I wanted to add, that while we were desperate to have another baby, we are not trying to replace Xiola. Our family will never be quite complete without her, but once Spawn is here... it will feel less incomplete.

XM


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## BigBelly03 (Dec 3, 2002)

Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful responses. This is actually the fourth m/c I have had at home, the first one was monitored one night in the hospital while I was on an IV and an ultrasound was done because there was a detectable heartbeat. I am so thankful the doctor did not rush to do a d &c as I would have lost my beautiful daughter. I did however miscarry her twin. The experience of m/c a twin and trusting my body to take care of the situation without harming my daughter (I went on to have a perfectly normal pregnancy and beautiful birth at full-term) gave me much confidence and trust that a woman's body is equipped to handle all kinds of situations and no medical intervention is needed. The second time I miscarried twins, blighted ovum in April 1999. I learned the second time to slow down, spend a few days in bed, and also I took the homeopathic remedy cinchona to keep the bleeding from getting really bad. In June 2001 I miscarried again, that time I went into a full-blown labor for four hours and also my breasts became engorged afterwards. My dh got a little scared when he saw me in so much pain and thought we should go to the hospital at one point. But when I reminded him they would probably just do a d &c, that was even scarier, so he stayed with me and just comforted me through it. The baby's due date was really tough for me this past January. Although I have five healthy children (from a previous relationship) All of my losses except the first one have been his babies. We want so much to have a baby together. This most recent pregnancy lasted the longest, I was at the end of the first trimester. I am giving myself time to heal physically and emotionally. The baby is also going to be named (like the others I lost) although I haven't decided on a name yet. My dh is quick to be able to move on emotionally. But I understand that is more the male nature, not a sign that he doesn't care. He has been very supportive and helpful the past few days, doing more than a few loads of bloody laundry, went out to buy pads (I don't want to mess up my cloth pads), making me nutritious dinners, fixing me raspberry tea, bringing me doses of cinchona, and giving me such loving massages.
naotalba, I know that the waiting can be very hard, but trust your body, it will happen and you can handle it. Take care of yourself. I am very sorry you have to go through this. ~~~Thanks and peace to all of you, Debbie


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## Abylite (Jan 3, 2003)

Hello. I'm sorry about your loss. My husband and I want to TTC again. I hope I'm emotionally and physically ready. I'm doing everything I can to take care of myself. Extra rest, fluids, allowing myself to feel what I need to feel. I actually can't wait until I get my period again so I will feel a little more normal. My thought are with you. Abylite


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