# Awkward topic...How well do you clean/dry your daughter's genitals?



## Emily's Mama (Apr 22, 2007)

Hope this isn't an inappropriate question, but I am genuinely curious as to the best way to keep everything clean and healthy "down there" in my 3 year old daughter! I mean, who teaches you these things anyway?! and I've not read about it in any parenting manuals or books.









When we had our daughter in hospital they told us not to worry about wiping inside any more than her outer labia, that anything else would keep itself clean, so to speak. Well, time has moved on and she has a bath generally daily, but we haven't really ever paid much attention to cleaning (or drying)more than just her outer female bits, either by us or by herself, til recently. When she was in diapers we did obviously clean off all signs of poo, but now that she;s toilet trained she just wipes herself for a wee, but it's only really on the surface, and we wipe her for a poo.

She does sometimes complain about her "bottom hurting" or tugs at her crotch and I wonder if it's because she's not dry or maybe she's inflamed or generally sore. When I then try to have a look, or even to dry her a little bit with a towel, she can hardly stand for me to do it, as she's laughing too much when I touch her and then pulling away! She seems very sensitive there, which obviously can be normal, but how do I then check her? I need to make sure she doesn' t have any obvious infection.

So I've been trying to encourage her to wash a bit more the inside layers (not IN her vagina, but around her inner labia a bit more) and dry them herself. So how necessary is it to clean well there? To dry after bathing? Do you do it, or do you get her to do it herself? If you suspect mild thrush or something else, would you take her to the doctor or treat it with over the counter meds? To be honest, I doubt she would let or want the doctor to take a look!


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## Jenelle (Mar 12, 2004)

I don't have any girls, but I have nieces... Honestly, I would think that a general washing with a washcloth in the area would be good -- and then I would let her run around naked and air-dry for a few minutes before putting on her undies. Actually, I think the air-drying part is very important. Candida (yeast) thrives in dark, moist environments. If you are concerned about yeast, I would start with chewable probiotics. It doesn't sound like she is having an urgent problem, so I personally wouldn't put her through the whole doctor bit until I had tried some other things. Good luck!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

She shouldn't need any soap there ever. If she is sitting in soapy water (or having bubble baths) that could contribute to irritation. When my ds has problems with his penis being sore/sensitive, I just have him take a soap free bath. Like the pp suggested, letting her run around to air dry would be a good idea if you suspect yeast issues. Ds likes to jump on the bed which would work nicely, lol. Now if she actually has a yeast infection, plain yogurt on the area would be soothing.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I don't wash/dry any more than you do for my dd. She wipes herself for everything now (she's 5 today!), and so I just don't have reason to anymore.

She does complain of irritation there - usually it's due to not bathing frequently enough or not wiping properly (or at all!) after she pees. If we up her frequency of baths, and as people said, have them be just 'water' baths, then it usually clears up. I also try to have her sleep without undies on so that her bottom gets a chance to breathe.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I let dd handle that area. Usually a soak in the tub seems enough to keep her clean without soap. She usually air drys for a bit before she puts clothes on after a bath.

If I thought there was a problem I think my dd would prefer that I look over a doctor looking. Maybe you can have her do the touching while you look to see if there is irritation?

I would cut back on soap and let her air dry more.
You could get your dd a robe for after the bath.


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## contactmaya (Feb 21, 2006)

...what about for boys....?


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *contactmaya* 
...what about for boys....?

See my above response.









Same as for girls, just a water soak. I'll even just have ds swish his penis in a cup of warm water if it's bothering him and he doesn't want a bath (or if we don't have time). He was having a problem recently, I think just urine irritation, because he was going through a frequent urination phase. The tip was pink and he said it was itchy. It cleared right up with the water. We pretty much just use soap on back sides, hands, and feet (and armpits when he gets older).


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## Jenelle (Mar 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *contactmaya* 
...what about for boys....?

We have always used unscented baby wash... I put a squirt in their bath water, enough to make bubbles... But have never put soap directly on their areas. They play in the bath, we use a washcloth for a general swipe of their front and backsides. Never had any irritation here.


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## Ceili (Nov 21, 2001)

I agree it could be the soap making things irritated. If she's sitting in soapy water/bubble bath I'd make sure she gets a good rinse off with clean water before getting out the tub. And yeah, some naked time to allow for air drying might help.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

I also think having some "airing out" time is helpful. No panties at all. We do this at night. DD doesn't sleep in underwear. It just helps the area dry out a little more. I think a lot of the irritation can also come from not wiping well, at least IME. Teaching good wiping skills will help her genitals from becoming irritated. As for actual washing? Not much over here. Just soaking in the tub and maybe a quick, light swipe with a washcloth (never inside her labia, just out) for those "bad-wiping" days.


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## ShwarmaQueen (Mar 28, 2008)

I was just wondering about this the other day. DD seems to have a white cream between her inner and outer labia (if that makes sense). The only way it gets clean is by me wiping it- should I not be wiping it?? It just seems gross to leave it there...


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShwarmaQueen* 
I was just wondering about this the other day. DD seems to have a white cream between her inner and outer labia (if that makes sense). The only way it gets clean is by me wiping it- should I not be wiping it?? It just seems gross to leave it there...









I notice this with DD at times too so will be checking back for suggestions!!

I do feel like I need to use mild soap at times b/c diaper rash cream doesn't come off with just water and it tends to spread up to her inner labia at times.


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## PikkuMyy (Mar 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShwarmaQueen* 
I was just wondering about this the other day. DD seems to have a white cream between her inner and outer labia (if that makes sense). The only way it gets clean is by me wiping it- should I not be wiping it?? It just seems gross to leave it there...









That's smegma - both boys and girls get it. It's just a mixture of skin oil and exfoliated skin. There's nothing wrong with it per se.

Many people can see theirs depending on their anatomy. I get some in the bottom folds of my inner labia. It has nothing to do with how you wipe or don't wipe well. I generally clean mine 1x week by wiping it with just water in the shower or bath.


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## ShwarmaQueen (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PikkuMyy* 
That's smegma - both boys and girls get it. It's just a mixture of skin oil and exfoliated skin. There's nothing wrong with it per se.

Thanks, good to know.


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## MsBirdie (Apr 29, 2007)

I just spoke to my dr about it at last checkup and she said weekly DD should use a wet washcloth (NO soap) and let air dry. No soapy bath water either. She also said that if it is sore I could put some desitin just on the inside of the labia to help coat it because it can sometimes get too dry (not in the opening at all).


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

Many girls have irritation as a result of bubble bath products. I agree that a soap-free bath is the best thing for this. If she likes something to play with in the bath you might let her shake a little baking soda in. It's very soothing.

I would avoid washcloths as they can be irritating, too. I would just rinse well (in between the labia) with warm non-soapy water. I don't worry about drying at all and would advise against it as the towel might irritate delicate tissues or leave lint there which could cause irritation. Cotton undies only.

Frequent water-only baths usually take care of any irritation for my girls. If something persists you could put a little diaper creme or lanolin on any reddened area to act as a moisture block and keep pee from further irritating it. Occasionally if their diet changes a lot and they have a lot of fruit or acidic things like tomatoes they can get a little irritated down there. 9 times out of 10 a good water bath takes care of it with some special attention paid to rinsing well and 1 out of 10 times (or maybe less often than that) we need a little creme.

As for checking her, I'd just explain that I really need to see if it's red or anything and I can put some creme on to help it feel better if it is.

Cut out the soap, though, if you're using it and see how that goes.


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## Hokulele (Mar 2, 2005)

If there is mild irritation, these are the steps we take:

- stop the soap and shampoo (but now you know that from all the other posts )

- when you do use soap, allow DD to play in the bath with just water and then just soap/shampoo right before she gets out so she's not sitting in it

- sometimes when we use soap/shampoo, I'll rinse DD and then empty and refill the bath water if she wants to continue to stay in the tub to play

- baking soda in the bath water helps to clean off soap residue. Depending on how uncomfortable DD is you could do this with every bath or even go up to doing two baths a day for 20 minutes at a time with baking soda in the water. I can't remember how much I read to put in there - maybe 1/4cup to 1/2 cup in each tub's worth of water?

When there's no irritation I don't worry too much. As long as she's wiping well and taking baths on a somewhat regular basis I think it is self-cleaning enough.


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## thisiswhatwedo (Mar 10, 2008)

why as women are we having to ask how to clean our daughters areas? I mean the same way we do should be the proper answer right? What I am trying to say is what happened to our bodies and body knowledge that we feel that cleaning our kids up is a mystery , kind of like what happened to giving birth.. Does this make any sense?


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thisiswhatwedo* 
why as women are we having to ask how to clean our daughters areas? I mean the same way we do should be the proper answer right? What I am trying to say is what happened to our bodies and body knowledge that we feel that cleaning our kids up is a mystery , kind of like what happened to giving birth.. Does this make any sense?

Good question. And why did it take me 6 months to be able to say the word "vulva" without giggling?


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4evermom* 
She shouldn't need any soap there ever. If she is sitting in soapy water (or having bubble baths) that could contribute to irritation.

I second this. When my 7 y o DD takes a bath I let her play for as long as she wants in the water and then use the soap and shampoo right before she gets out of the bath. I've always done this to try and keep her from sitting in the soapy stuff for too long. And I've always assumed that her bottom soaking in the tub was enough to keep her clean. She's only 7 and doesn't have to deal with the majority of vag stuff a mature woman does.


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## Emily's Mama (Apr 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thisiswhatwedo* 
why as women are we having to ask how to clean our daughters areas? I mean the same way we do should be the proper answer right? What I am trying to say is what happened to our bodies and body knowledge that we feel that cleaning our kids up is a mystery , kind of like what happened to giving birth.. Does this make any sense?

i know you've said it;s rhetorical, but feel i have to answer anyway







...

As a child i don't remember what i did or didn't clean, but i probably didn't care much about it. I've recently thought children don't require much attention there. As an adult no one has "taught" me what to do, but i've needed to beef up the rinsing and drying routine, or things certainly don't feel or smell too fresh







, so i think i would be "doing" more to myself than what i would imagine my daughter would need. Though she still can have a somewhat pungent smell (and i'm not 100% sure she wipes herself all that well after toilet), even if going a day without a rinse, which has lead me to my question, thinking maybe the cursory wash and dry we do isn't enough.


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## mamamille (Nov 30, 2006)

I was just talking to myself about this the other day. My mom must have been a clean freak cause my sister and I had to be washed everyday when we were kids. Now, I am more relaxed with my dd but she has just potty trained and though I wipe her, the tp sticks to her and it is smelly, so I wonder if I should amp up the volume so to speak. We don't really do soap in the tub, but I do wash her crotch with a washcloth and water everyday. If I don't she gets really red and sore. I will use a little diaper cream at night to seal it off so it can heal, and with candida like symptoms, I sprinkle a bit of acidophilus inside... completely harmless and works everytime.
To the OP I second the idea of having her hold herself so you can look/ treat. It's never to early to teach gentle touch and familiarity with herself.


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## girlsmamma2 (Jul 12, 2005)

I don't think this is an unusual question at all. I too have struggled with if I am doing the right thing. I do wash both my girls before bedtime each night with a washcloth. Like pp said, I think if I didn't do this they would have a bit of an odor, I know I would so I kinda do what I do for myself. They both take showers because we did end up in the hospital with a uti from improper wiping. I use a small amount of mild soap, Ivory, on a washcloth then rinse them with one with only water, dry them, then they get another rinse in the shower. I feel like it keeps them clean, doesn't irritate too much but i would feel uncomfortable not doing it, although I'm starting to think they should be doing it themselves. I just don't want them to do it wrong and end up with a problem or infection from that. Or too much soap etc. So I don't know when I'll switch over. But I do that for myself every day and have since i was a young girl.


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## peggyitaly (May 3, 2004)

I'm an American in Italy, married to an Italian. People here use bides to wash their private parts and I have to say they are GREAT, especially for kids. Bides are basically sinks at a toilet level. People sit down and splash away. Most people use "intimate soap" but it's not necessary. Rinse and then pat dry.
I introduced my sister to the idea when her two littleones were having issues. A few days of rinsing and then pat drying did the trick. When in America, my dd, who is 6, usually will rinse her behind sitting over the bathtub after a poop because she doesn't feel comfortable or clean after only wiping.


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## Emily's Mama (Apr 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peggyitaly* 
I'm an American in Italy, married to an Italian. People here use bides to wash their private parts and I have to say they are GREAT, especially for kids. Bides are basically sinks at a toilet level. People sit down and splash away. Most people use "intimate soap" but it's not necessary. Rinse and then pat dry.
I introduced my sister to the idea when her two littleones were having issues. A few days of rinsing and then pat drying did the trick. When in America, my dd, who is 6, usually will rinse her behind sitting over the bathtub after a poop because she doesn't feel comfortable or clean after only wiping.

I think I"d love a bide! Reckon my hubby would too. He showers 2-3 times a day! No room in our bathroom though.

Why can't we live in Italy?!


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