# Sept 04 mamas - summer thread



## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Just thought it was getting on to time for a new thread...


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Yeah for summer! Today is the warmest day so far and it feels great! No more







: for me!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

(you know, like the song by Talking Heads... "this is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!")

I'm listening to the song "Get a Grip" by Aerosmith right not in an attempt to do so... don't know if it will help, but a little Steven Tyler won't hurt my mood.)

My son... my son. Ahhhhhhh, f***.

... just got off of a full week of great gobs of attention from his great-aunt and -uncle, in a different state, where it was really HOT, and they spent a lot of time indoors, and he watched a lot of television.

... just spent a morning at his preschool where one of the kids who is frequently the most violent was in fine form, and it always leaves me asking, "why do you continue to enroll this child? You're a private preschool. You are not obligated to take everybody, even if their parents are native speakers and there are no other options for immersion preschool in this language in the area."

... got up at 6:15 or so this morning.

... has a mama who right now has been feeling sick to her stomach for 2 months, and who feels like the blood in her veins has been infused with lead. Even walking around the block makes me feel exhausted. I'm considering raiding Jo's Floradix to see if it makes a difference.

... is readjusting to spending his time during the day with me, and not with Jo and great-aunt and great-uncle and, to some extent, grandma (but I heard she was actually pretty disengaged with him).

He has just been such a little *@(! today. Getting to preschool was fine, he even got to eat his lunch with his classmates, which is a Big Deal, and coming home and watching Mr. Rogers was good too, but after we had a little snack after that (which he helped himself to out of the fridge, eh, so what), he started getting positively awful. Singing along to the album he asked me to put on in this ugly, horrible voice which I KNOW children do because they think it's funny but it gets him all wound up, and then he starts throwing toys around, and goes up to the cat and does something that more closely resembles pounding on her than petting her. That's usually my trigger is the cat. But he has no mechanism for calming himself down, and everything that I do to try to get him to calm down makes him more violent. A naughty stair? He moves around and around to see just how far he can push me. A spot on the floor? same as above, usually reaches out and hits me. Being held on my lap firmly (but not causing pain)? He scratches, pinches, hits, bites, wiggles and slams his head backwards/sideways/whichever way he needs to to cause pain.

Who is this kid? I do not scream at him. I do not hit him, ever, despite being sorely tempted because I think it would be the only thing that would break through his big tantrums and violent spells and shock him out of whatever that zone is that he's in, and plus I secretly feel like it would make him so upset that he'd want me to comfort him, and I ache for him to want to come to me and cry on my shoulder and get love because it seems like all of the interactions lately have been negative. Any physical affection I get is fleeting and has to have an element of silly combined with it - or just plain mean crap, like here, I'll hug you, but before I let go, I'm going to pull your hair.

I do not do this to him. I try so hard. I see these wonderful young people - the class I first met in 1st grade is graduating 8th grade this week at the school where I used to teach, and all those kids are just so awesome, and sweet, and kind and good and smart and beautiful and I can't understand what I'm doing WRONG, what is wrong with me as a mother, why doesn't my child listen to me, why do all of my neighbors' kids do what their mothers tell them, why don't they talk back or say no or run away?

Maybe I'm just destined to have a kid who is an obnoxious brat? But why can't he be nice to me like the angel he is at school?

Jeez, I'm so exhausted. After I came downstairs and found him shredding the newspaper and just snapped, I picked him up and put him in the car. I figured in his seat he would be restrained. I wouldn't be able to touch him and he wouldn't be able to touch/damage/break/rip/hit/bother anything. He seemed really excited that we were going somewhere, and then fell asleep within 2 minutes.

Obviously, he was tired, which was feeding his behavior. And luckily we ended up on a parkway and I was able to pull over and sob, and got myself under control enough to be able to drive back home before someone saw me bawling in the car and call 911 because they thought something was really wrong. No, just a pregnant lady with a preschooler testing her every limit.

I wish I could figure out what to do with him to get him to calm down, but there is no room in this house that would be safe from him. The bedroom is the closest but I am uninterested in refolding and hanging all of his laundry because I could see him just taking everything in the closet off of hangers and out of drawers and throwing it all over the room just because he knows it would tork us off.

Heck, I bet he would rip open a feather pillow to strew the feathers everywhere because he knows that wanton destruction of stuff really makes me mad, whether it's an anthill, a flower, anything. He LOVES to see me react to that and I can't pretend "gee, that doesn't bother me that you just smashed the picture of our friends". He will find something on the floor and just smash it, instead of setting it back down, or handing it to me, or whatever. Oh, gee, there's a butterfly! Think I'll STEP ON IT. WHAT THE HE(!#(#$*!#(_)@($*)(*!!!!!









Help. *sniffle* I can't figure out for the life of me how I could ever have thought that having two children would be a good idea. I am feeling so doomed right now.


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Oh Jen!







I wish I had the magic words to make this all better for you! I only have two things, and they're probably not at all helpful, but you never know.

Rescue Remedy -- for both of you! Whenever Elizabeth has one of those meltdowns, some RR rubbed into the soles of her feet works wonders (the dosage is four drops by mouth, but that doesn't agree with her, so I end up double-dosing her with four drops in my hand per foot). Then I take some myself.

Four is the age of the Great Testosterone Surge in boys. It can come a little before or a little after. I think this is what you may be seeing. Not much you can do but wait it out, though.







:

*You're a wonderful Mama, and you are raising your son to be a wonderful boy. You are respectful of him and his needs. You have a loving home for him to live in. He is lucky to have you!*

Oh, I thought of three more things! Can you give him something to destroy when he's like this? When E went through her hitting phase, I gave her a pillow to hit instead. It worked well. Have you tried whispering when he gets like that? Or singing your requests? It just may catch him off guard and inspire serenity.

More







for you!!!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Oh Jen,







!!! I felt this way when Thor was a difficult 21 months and I was about to have Anna. It passed very quickly... that's all I was thinking as I read your post, the ol' famous (but very unhelpful) This Too Shall Pass. I really think that it sounds like a phase, however cliche and unhelpful that is. One suggestion, have you read Connection Parenting? That book totally changed my worldview. I don't know if that would help you at this juncture, but it sure did change the way I viewed my kids and myself for like a good 3 months. I still think of chapters from that book all the time.

BTW, it's all harder when you're pregnant and hormonal and tired... sigh.







again.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Jen - big bad hugs, mama. I was having a "how do i do this discipline thing in a way that honors my child, honors my values, but changes this behavior that is driving my nuts!" moment, and I started reading "positive discipline for preschoolers." I'd picked it up on half-price day at a consignment sale. It's not perfect, but it inspired me to adjust my thinking, be patient, and try some new things. Sometimes just giving the problem (your frustration and the behavior) new and fresh energy helps things shift a bit.

I have found that when robin is losing it, syaing in my most calm, serene voice, "Calm your body. Calm your voice. Calm your legs, etc" - whatever part of her she needs to calm, then giving her different options, "I want to help you. tell me what you need." or "Ineed you to put that down until your body is calmer, etc". I really feel like I am channeling someone outside of me - i am not little miss calm or zen-like


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

I've finally posted some pictures - the first time since school started. Poor, undocumented eli.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...1_179125161307


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

HHIIIII!!! gosh its been a long time since i've been here! today was a little hellish for us but not that bad! (((hugs))) i've calmed down enough to not remember what was driving me batty.

quick q: do your kids get their own snacks? i've never allowed the kids to get anything out of the pantry or fridge by themselves but i wonder how good of a rule it is and how hard it is to let them do it themselves. they also have to ask for drinks including water. ds in old enough to reach the fridge water but i am afraid hes not tall enoughto know when to stop filling the cup! also its a side by side fridge so they can only reach the bottom drawers for food if they get in (all veggies/fruit right now). they usually only have 1 snack the entire day so i am not sure if its even relavent or needed for them to do it themselves.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Danielle: I go back and forth, as Robin goes in and out of being interested in getting her own snacks. Actually, she never *fully* gets her own snacks, but at times she'll pick something out and bring it to me to ask if she can have it. Our pantry has kid-level options, as does the fridge. But she always asks if she can have it, and usually needs help getting it open/cut/made. Sometimes she picks a treat, and I'll ask her to wait until after a meal, or sometimes she's feeling snacky b/c it's nearly mealtime, so we go ahead and eat. Generally, my concerns with her getting her own food are 1) MESS and 2) not making the best choices (eating too close to a meal, picking a treat for a snack)

For drinks, I try to have a water bottle/cup in the fridge where she can reach it or on the counter - and then invite her to get it herself. I would not let her pour on her own yet - She "helps" me pour, and I know she can't do it on her own yet.

If you think they need more autonomy, you can let them help you prepare snacks. Robin likes to try to spread peanut butter, insists on pouring her own cereal and helping with the milk, etc. She gets to feel competent and in control, and I help her enough to not have a major mess on my hands.

p.s. - we did have a candy bowl with all the crap we've gotten for holidays (xmas, easter, valentines, etc.). Once she foudn out where it was, she'd drag a chair over and sneak a peice. but she'd always come find me and show me her chocolate-filled mouth. This week, Eli saw what she was up to and joined her. He found a bag of caramels (left over from a recipe) and chewed on them, wrapper and all. Robin called to me, "eli's eating candy!" and I came in to fine him up on the chair with multiple chewed up caramels. The next day he did it again on his own, so now the candy bowl has a new home. We need to just throw it away - I don't think months-old easter bunnies sound good. But clint lets Robin pick a peice to put in their smoothies sometimes.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Oh gosh, my kids totally feed themselves.







At first I thought it was cute that they would climb to get their own cereal, then slightly annoying, then I asked them to just ask, now I don't care!







Ceci helps Carl into the fridge also. Then they'll sit down to a picnic with lunch meat and string cheese. My kids have learned to do a number of things while I get my stupid thesis paper ready for publication!









Jen- Ceci does many of the things you just described T doing. I feel bad talking about 'number 3' when I have such a hard time with number 1!!! When she's good, she is very good and when she is bad she is HORRIBLE! And the worst part is I have sunk to it. I have even told her to flat out 'shut up' on occasion.







How awful of me. I do the zen-calm thing, but after her whining and whining and whining and whining horrible things just fly out of my mouth. I am trying to do better, but it is hard for me not to use words to hurt.

Did you guys read that Time article about vaccines?! I noticed it yesterday at the library. It is pretty awful.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Hello Jen-

Sigh. It all sounds so familiar to my feelings when I was pregnant with Gingy and Lulu was buzzing around when she was 18 months-2 years. In a sense, the behavior sounds like Lulu even today. An angel (they say the easiest kid in the class) at school, and SO overwhelming for us at home.

First of all, get that floradix out and take it twice a day for like a month. See if you don't feel better. You girl, need more energy, to handle T. And right around this time of pregnancy is when anemia hits. And it don't take much anemia, my midwife told me, to really, really feel it. It could be subclinical, ie. not detectable on a blood test. But heck, think what your body is trying to do right now ... create another person ! ... and think what else you have to handle... a wild preschooler who is out to get your goat.

It sounds like you need a way to calm this child down where you don't have to actually be there enforcing every second. When he gets out of hand and you two are just triggering each other over and over. There is no way either of you can calm down like that. The naughty chair/step thing just won't work like that. i do think driving the old boy in the car was an excellent choice frankly...

Have you thought about moving to "taking a break" in his room? I guess it sounds like you have (you were saying it wasn't proofed enough). Is there any separate room that would be OK for that? Or perhaps say he has to be on your big bed with the door closed, for 5-10 minutes (he could pick some books or coloring). Would it work when he was doing his thrashing and you were doing your gnashing?

Lulu has a very sensitive explosive nature (like her mom) and we often have to bring her upstairs to the attic 9her room) for a break. She doesn't like it usually, but she ends up kind of chilling or just falling asleep. I need the separation from her when it gets so heated.

I find when everyone is so volatile, I use less words. I barely say anything. In part, because no one is really ready to hear them, and in part because I then just escalate myself.

Yah, it is hard having two kids... or in this phase before the second arrives. But the magic of two kids is also real. There is a real sense of having created a real little family unit when you have a second child. And the interactions between the two kids are just amazing and touching. They really do play with each other, look out for each other. And you will probably have an easier time than I did the first year ... because T is so much older. Lulu was still with me around the clock when I had gingy. So I had the two of them day in day out... that first winter was hard.

OH... and say, what about the fact of that violent boy in T's class. It sounds like T may need to VENT about that. I figure a lot of Lulu's nonsense when she gets home is processing "other people's crap" when she get's home. There some kids that are very in your face/crowding her, etc. (nothing unusual for a three year old, but annoying), and she's so sensitive... i figure a lot of her afterschool bizarro, hard to handle behavior is simply her processing all the interactions with this type of kid. And perhaps t and she feel safe at home doing it....

anyway, HTH.

BIG Hug!

bTw Yo Becca, loved the pics of your two great kids!!!!!!!!!! so much fun to see them together....

Liz


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 
I've finally posted some pictures - the first time since school started. Poor, undocumented eli.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...1_179125161307

Those are GREAT photos!! What a cutie.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slidesho...0_846847961307
I'm making up for lost time with the pictures. These include just a slice of how obsessed Robin is at the moment with dress up

She's finally getting frustrated with him in her space, taking toys, tearing up her art, etc. She's been really easy going about it, but now it's on her nerves - I think b/c he's climbing and fast and she can't get away from him any more. I caught her squeezing his arm and pulling his hair this week - both out of anger/frustration. neither hurt him, so she showed some restraint I suppose. But it's no fun to now have to help her find a way to channel her frustration, and to find space without him. Hey, maybe it's b/c school is out so they are together every day, all day.

It's in the mid 90's here, and we're holding out on the a/c. We are spending lots of time at thepublic pool these days!

Liz - wise words. Being prenant with one is perhaps harder than having a newborn, at least it was for me, mentally and emotionally. Once the baby was here, no time to dwell on emotions or my mental state - wait, maybe that's not a better thing....


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Digging us out from page 8!!!









I have to take some photos and share... we've had lots of rain and my lawn revived itself, everything looks great. Greg has a ton of energy again (and has started a ton of projects accordingly) and we just refurbished an old Rainbow Playwet- a freebie from a jobsite. The kids love it.

Tomorrow we meet with the lumberyard to work on a house plan for our addition. I don't think I'll be sad to have the kids move out of my room. No, I will be, but we could totally use some more space and new insulation.


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## StacyL (May 4, 2004)

subbing...had to find you guys again.

Uncomfortable as can be - due any day now!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Hi all!! I leave for Seattle with the kids on Thursday. And, get this, Anna broke her leg! OMG, I feel awful for her. She was climbing up into the front seat of our truck and turned to look at me, and fell right out, flat on her front, hard. She broke her tibia... it's a greenstick fracture. So she has a full leg cast, can't walk, but has learned how to scoot/crawl everywhere. She's almost had it for a week and she has to have it on for three weeks total. I'm hoping that it can come off while we're in seattle.

I'm at the great stage of pregnancy... no symptoms, nice small round belly, lots of energy. Whee!!







I love it right now.

Stacy -- can't wait to hear about the birth!!

Becca -- I'm jealous of hot weather. I don't think we've been above 60 here... and normally in the low 50's. Boy do we have the sunlight, though!! It's really only dark at around 1-3am, then bright again, and all the birds are up squawking at 4am. That's actually annoying.

Jen -- how are you doing? Any easier with T?

Meg -- What's a playwet?


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

I'm guessing Meg meant playSet?

POOR ANNA!!! Of course I bet you're more traumatized about it than she is.

Pass some of that good-stage-of-pregnancy stuff this way. I'm 16 weeks and still feeling barfy and blah. On top of it my son is a whirling dervish who never stops making noise, and still has that combative, violent thing going. I'm exhausted. Blah, blah, blah.

We (he and I) are flying to my sister's today until Saturday. I hope it's fun, right now I'm just feeling like I'd rather climb into a hole than navigate airport security, make our plane transfer, etc. We're flying American and last time they were less than accommodating / helpful / anything nice... I am hoping this time will be better. I have decided to not bring the stroller because I'm only checking one bag and am ready to make a stink if they try to charge me $15 for checking my car seat. There is no way to travel with a child without a car seat and after the living hell they made my life last time when I tried to bring it on the plane, I'm NOT doing that again.

Send us positive vibes.

Stacy, wishing you an empowering, healthy and joyful birth!


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Good luck Jen.... I couldn't handle plane flight now... it's for the super stable! which i haven't been in quiet some time!


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## zen-ozz (Jan 8, 2004)

Augs ~ Hoping Anna is feeling better soon. I can't believe how that can happen in the blink of an eye.

Jen ~ Good luck flying! I really hope they don't charge you too. That would be pretty lame.

I am going to a neurologist tomorrow and I am getting a bit freaked out. I have been having some weird, nebulous symptoms and had an MRI of my brain last week. The lame nurse at my docs office said it was inconclusive and that I was to make a neurology appointment. I called the neuro and they said they didn't have an appointment until August. So I brought over a copy of the radiologist report and they gave me and appointment for the 25 of June. Then, my docs office finally faxed my stuff to the neuro and they called me on monday and wanted to see me tomorrow. ARRRGGHH!!! Meanwhile, my symptoms seem to be escalating. I really hope I walk out of this appointment tomorrow at least knowing what is up and not just with a list of a ton of tests to get done.

Meanwhile, we are finally potty training Zeke and I have never had such a hard time with anything! As with everything, he makes it as difficult as possible -- he is the kids who wont do anything for himself including, dressing, putting his carseat straps on, sometimes eating -- and to add to the problem, Eli is obsessed with the toilet and putting his hand in it and I am feeling like crap and don't want to spend all day in the bathroom, literally holding his hands while he pushes!!!!!! I so need help!!!!

Kristin


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## banana girl (Jan 9, 2004)

Hey there mamas!

Wow! sounds like there's lots of challenges out there right now! Poor mamas. Wish I could help, but I'm also up to my neck in naughty little monkeys, mine seem to be intent on playing with whatever the other one has in his or her hands at he moment.. lots of screaming crying and hitting. Yuck! Jasper is becoming very verbal as he approaches 2 and is strongwilled as they come. Mielle has been the whiniest little puke ever lately and it seems like i have to redirect her into asking nicely for every single thing, from getting her butt wiped to having a snack to going outside... grrrr.
However, from time to time, they snuggle together and laugh and tickle. They hold hands and run in the grass... they share snacks and take baths together, at night they give each other kisses and hugs before toddling off to seperate sleeping places. So, there is hope. Really.
Must post new photos some time, they are growing so big and beautiful.

Well the destruction of my livingroom that has taken place while i've been on the computer is reaching critical mass.... Jasper is approaching the shelf full of DVD's, must intervene..

Love to all


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

HI all!

I've been in Columbus for the past 2 weeks for Robin's swimming lessons. They went great and all...but the single parenting both kids is quite old, and I'm happy to be back with Clint. No TV, phone or internet at our house there - nothing to do but clean, and who wants to do that?

Kristen - I hope your appointment was a step in the right direction. This all sounds like a lot to deal with. Hugs, mama. I'm sending you lots of good vibes.

Jen - Happy travels. Hope you guys made it safely and sanely. You'll start feeling that 2nd-trimester glow soon.

Anna - So good to hear from you! Robin has also entered a whiney phase. I'm hoping the exit is near, bc/ i can't take it. and she's picked up on my saying that also, "I can't take it, mama!" "I can not take it at all!" and my attempts to help her learn how to talk about her feelings have lead to "I am very frustrated with being in this store!" etc. etc. Kinda hard not to chuckle sometimes.

Stacy - hoping to hear your good news any day now!

Speaking of good news, my IRL friend who's in stacy's DDC just VBA2C'd!! She is an ICAN chapter co-leader, and on the national board, and an amazing resource for VBAC-seeking women in georgia - just such a help and inspiration for so many people, and it is so exciting that she wsa finally able to have the birth she's wanted. I'm over the moon for her!!


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 
ishe's picked up on my saying that also, "I can't take it, mama!" "I can not take it at all!"

Becca- same here.... Lulu's been saying "I can't take it anymore!" a lot... gee, wonder where she got it?









I've been dealing with a herniated disk. After two c-sections and a laproscopic gall bladder removal, I have no stomach muscles... so my back slipped out. Super painful. So my tolerance for the WHINEFEST is very low.

Zen= Oh my gosh, I hope you find some answers. It sounds potentially very serious. I am glad they fit you in right away. I am glad you took matters into your own hands. So many times the "gatekeepers" (receptionists, office nurses) are the hardest part of getting good medical care. Kristen, please keep us updated...

Lulu's not potty trained either, we tried last year but it was an abysmal failure (just led to her not pooping or peeing at all, practically). So this summer we'll try again.

Liz


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

so nice to see all you guys again!

ethan is POTTY TRAINED after several months of trying. we started in jan with preschools help and it was march 28th that he GOT IT. all the sudden! miracles of miracles. he's night trained as well but only by "accident" cause he doens't PEE at night. if he takes a cup to bed then he wets the bed.

i am tempted to start in on ayla. my mom put her on the potty one morn when she was dry but i can't do that since she is up when she wants. she is in her toddler day bed so can get in/out at will...and does! several nights now she will get up around 2 a.m. "with" dh and just hang out for a while.









thankfully both get up now by themselves in the morn (ds used to HOLLER at me!) and they entertain themselves for a while.

just got back from the doc with my RX for liquid prenatals...only 4.25 months to go before official Baby dancing!









i tried to ask ds what he thought of mommy haveing another baby...he pointed to ayla and said "thats the baby" with no clue what i was talking about









oh and we up to our EYEBALLS in attitude! both of them! ds being michevious/trouble and basically being onry and dd just useing the DRAMA to her advantage.

looks like dd is also speech delayed like ds as she only has about 5 words she says. understands tons though.

oh and its 110 DEGREES here!


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## zen-ozz (Jan 8, 2004)

I went to the neuro. Not great news, but not far off from what I expected. He says the MRI show lesions that are "suspicious for MS." So now it is off for more testing. I found a book called "the MS Recovery Diet" and I am going to go for it. Life without all my food loves (cheese, beans, bread, crackers, eggs, peanuts) actually seems easier that injecting my self on a regular basis. My symptoms seem to be getting worse fast and I really have to stop what ever this is. So this weekend I will do the shopping and start the diet Sunday or Monday. DH gets home tomorrow, which is really good, because my energy for dealing with four kids seems wildly diminished, and yet they must be dealt with.

Anyone with similar experience? Anyone know anyone who recovered by diet alone?

K


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zen-ozz* 
Anyone know anyone who recovered by diet alone?

Big big







to you and your family!!!

This woman conquered hers with diet and herbs and cleanses. http://www.ginakopera.com/index.html


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Kristen-

Oh my goodness!

At least you have the diagnosis. It usually takes for ever, from what I heard. So you can start in on your healing.

I don't know about the natural treatment, but it sure seems to be a wiser way to start than the drugs.

I have a friend who's just gotten the diagnosis, or about to. One thing she says is HEAT really effects her symptoms. She won't go to the mall when it's scorching hot, and keeps the A/c on in the house now, and that alone really helps.

Let your DH take care of you for a while til you sort all this out and do the big job of adjusting mentally to the fact that you have MS. i hope he can stay home a little bit while you "stabilize."

((long distance hug from downstate)))

Liz


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Kristen -














This must be hard news, and I'm so sorry you are facing such an intimidating diagnosis. My only experience with MS is with a friend of my mom's, during my childhood, and I'm sure science has changed dramatically since then. I think getting a jump on the diet approach makes a lot of sense, and I hope you see the effects quickly - especially since it involves some sacrifices! It seems like a good first step.

I hope you got a bit of a break with your DH being home. Can you guys swing hiring a mothers' helper for a few hours a week? Even if it's just a teenager who's there when you are home too, it could be a break for you while your DH is travelling. If not, how about setting up some playdates for the older kids (at other people's houses)? I know it must be overwhelming to try to take care of yourself, and also take care of 4 kids. You are definitely in my thoughts, and I wish I was nearby to lend a hands. Hugs and love, mama.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Hugs to you Kristen. Not a fun diagnosis to hear.

Hi Everyone! I know I have been MIA for a while but life just caught up with me. Let's see... where to start. Christopher is almost done with Kindergarten for the year. We have enjoyed homeschooling. He is looking forward to first grade this fall. I have to say that my baby is growing up too fast! I just discovered a loose tooth in his mouth.

David is a rambunctions, intense, three year old these days. Pottry training is slowly coming along. He is finally having more dry days than wet days. I find he has more accidents when he is tired which can be tough since he gave up naps at age 2. I am lucky to get him to nap these days.

David can identify all his numbers now and some of his letters. My mom bought Hooked on Phonics Pre-K the other day and we are going to see how he likes it. He claims he wants to read just like Christopher. This kid wants to be like his big brother in the worst way possible. Unfortunately, that means that he is picking up his brother's bad attitude. I never thought I would hear "I don't like you MOM!" coming out of David's mouth this early but he has Christopher to learn from.

Both boys are enjoying T-ball right now. After T-Ball we are going to sign David up for Gymnastics. He is constantly trying to stand on his head when we are at home. I will have to try and post a picture of it.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Oh Kristen!! I wish I could come over and 'do' something. When I get nervous or worried for someone I like to clean their house, or do their errands, or SOMETHING!







Please do keep us posted and you are in my thoughts.

I meant PlaySET guys, sorry!









We went to the zoo last Friday, it's awesome!







We became members. I love having kids old enough to get out and 'do' things with.

Wow, Ashley, poor Anna!







My sister broke her leg when she was a baby; she fell down the stairs. For some reason I remember it clearly. I guess 'cause they went over all the 'is this baby abused' stuff.

We have Carl running around without pants... it's actually kind of stressful for him b/c he doesn't like to pee on his foot (who would) and the poop sliding down his leg kind of freaks him out.







But he's determined that he doesn't like to poop in his diaper anymore and he's learning how to pee on command.







I am just sick of washing diapers and I'd rather scoop his poop then wipe it out of his butt. We're outside all day anyway.

So, I've decided to become Greg's 'personal assistant' and not go back to work next year.







There is just WAY too much to do at home and I feel like all I do is run,run,run to *try* to keep up. Greg has too many messes started and I am sick of looking at them. If he wants me to make money, he has to start less stuff at home for us. But, since we have so much going on, I think my time would be better spent trying to keep up with our projects. Gulp. I have made my own money since I was 12. Guess I'd better step up the ebay business!

I love hearing about what everyone is up too. Happy summer!


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

My chickens are laying eggs!! We just got our first dozen! I'm so excited! Clint's still working on the chicken coop, but it's mostly finished,a nd the nesting boxes are in. So Mama Chicken has been busily laying, and we didn't even know.

Meg - I hope the new job works out well. How's the pay?







We joined the zoo last summer too - it is so much more fun with kids, huh.

Robin and Eli were both in a "camp" at the UU church all week (Peace Camp) so I had planned to be very productive...but my best friend came to town and has been staying with us, so not productive at all.

Robin starts gymnastics this coming week - a three day "mini-camp" (3 days of 90 minute lessons). It's her first time at any sort of class or lesson (Other than preschool), and then in the fall she'll start taking gymnastics once a week. I'm torn between thinking it just makes life more busy, and thinking she'll really enjoy it. Anybody else do gymnastics? I think Elizabeth does dance, right?


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

T may take gymnastics at some point soon - we have a gymnastics school locally and when we've gone to open gym, it's really opened up a part of his personality that's been great to see - he's somehow more in touch with his body and it makes him more daring (something he's usually not).


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)

aha! found you! subbing for now.








kristen! keeping you in my prayers.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Hi everyone! Kristen,







big big hugs. Keep us posted.

We're at the start of what could be a verrrry long fishing season. Tony's arm is messed up, we haven't seen him for weeks, and fishing doesn't end until August 20th or so, then we're supposed to pack and move to washington. Um, yeah, can we say STRESS??? This is crazy. I am trying to hang on and be a good mother, but man, I'm not doing so well. I'm trying to talk Tony into just fishing until August 1st, but I don't know if that will work out. His arm might be so bad that he has to do a medical transfer of a permit anyway, but right now I guess I just have to take things day by day. I'm not so good at that!







I like a plan!

Pregnancy is going well, though. I like being pregnant. At least now I do, but check back with me in 3 months.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Inspired by the current Mothering that landed in my mailbox today, I proceeded to forgo any plans for the afternoon and pulled out both of the kiddy pools, set them up in the shade in the front yard and brought out the hose.

T filled them and was having fun just playing with water and the pools. I wanted to soak my feet in the pool, but he wouldn't stop splashing me despite my asking, so I decided to just go sit on the other side of our walkway under the birch tree and read my New Yorker.

(The only reason I get the New Yorker is because we got it as a free gift for being NPR members.)

After about 45 minutes he notices the lovely quantity of dirt on the walkway up to the house, which my DW (sarcastic intonation on the Dear, please) left there after digging out some spirea bushes on the weekend, because it is physically impossible for her to finish a job 100%. I decided to breathe and let him make as much mud as he wanted because, after all, he will wash, and Mud is Fun.

He proceeded to create a seriously gross muddy cesspool in one of the pools and a similarly but not quite as nasty muddy concoction in the other. No clean water except coming out of the hose. Still, good fun was being had. Very, very good fun. Only correction made was to please not take the dirt out of the garden which he didn't seem to think I was serious about but eventually he got it.

At some point, I guess the water/mud fun wasn't fun anymore, because he decided to throw it. At me. When he aimed, I told him that if he threw mud or muddy water at me, we were going in. He did. So I took my stuff in the house, and then came back out and started emptying his pools. This of course was Very, Very Bad and he started to throw fistfuls of mud at me while I was spraying out the pools. And digging in the garden on purpose. I sprayed the mud out of his hands with the hose which made him even more mad, and I sprayed him off since he was covered with mud, and then myself while I held onto his wrists. And then I took him inside, sort of pushing him in front of me while holding his wrists.

And I am sure that, because this all happened in our front yard, all of the neighbors were watching and in a day or two child protective services is going to show up at the front door.







(OK I'm pretty sure they won't but I felt like everyone was watching me.)

I took him in, plunked him in the bathtub where he got nice and clean - we obviously needed a break from each other because he asked me to go downstairs and when I asked him why, he said he just wanted me to, and I think that it was because he wanted to be by himself... so I came into the den (5 feet away from the bathroom lest you think I left him alone in the tub) and started this post.







and while I was typing, he soaped himself up and got clean and then said "I'm ready to be done with my bath!", put the bath toys away, drained the water and stood waiting for me to help him out. Got dressed right away with no fuss, and we went downstairs and had a snack of crackers and almond butter and apple jelly from our neighbor.

And afterwards, he was sitting so quietly in his chair at the table, I was loading the dishwasher and turned around to look at him being so quiet to see him SWAYING WITH HIS EYES SHUT. Kid had fallen asleep at the table. I carried him upstairs. 5 PM isn't exactly an optimal time for a nap but, um, there was no dissuading him, shall we say.

*shrug*

a day in the life...

Kristin:







what's the news?


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

aw how cute jen...a mud puppy!







i hate when they decide to THROW those lovely mud pies. we have this weird dirt (its not really DIRT) and it holds a print like nothing else...even with standing water...i let the kids have fun in water and now i have dog prints, hand, and foot prints in the HARD dirt..plus handfuls of dirt are still sticking to the wall....*shrug* my maid didn't come by to clean them off. i figure i can test how STRONG monsoons really are...if the mud is still there afterwords then i KNOW they are weak!

ethan was sick yesterday...only threw up once took a 3 hour nap and then was FINE. nothing else. weird. not fun but it coulda been ALOT worse.

thing is TODAY ethan decided to color....blue...on the white....walls...and the door. All in his room while he was having quiet time. oh he was quiet all right.







: i am not as upset as i thought i would be. i decided to let consequences be the punishment. you ever tried getting crayon off a wall and door? yeah it doens't really work it has to be painted. ethan found this out. i gave him a washcloth and he HAPPILY went to work (which is why cleaning up his spills before has never been work..he likes it!). i would say it took him about 15 minutes to realize it was getting to be like work and another 5 minutes dd decided to go outside and then it was REAL work and he was upset. so another 5 minutes and i talked to him (next paragraph rant). thankfully he got really upset after a while and really understood that cleaning up his mess wasn't a part of play and it was hard work.

now for the rant:

I just don't think ds understands being in trouble. Its been a while now that i have noticed that whens hes in trouble he won't answer a question. Even when i tell him "this is what you did wrong" now what did you do wrong? he wont answer. he'll repeat my QUESTION but i have to really urge him to repeat an answer and he won't give me his own answer. Like with the walls. I asked "are you going to color on the walls again" and after him repeating several times i said "yes or no, are you going to color on the walls again?" ....he said yes color on walls.







: seems like anytime i try to get him to understand a rule he pulls out this dumb card....i KNOW he understands questions...and it can't be a fear of getting in trouble...he gets in trouble FIRST and he doesn't go BACK after answering (either way). dh sat down with him one day a few weeks ago and tried to explain a question and answer to him. i mean really went into detail and used examples and tried "easy" questions and naming the answer etc...then he nonchalantly went back to the trouble question and suddenly ds starts repeating.







i am really at the end of my rope with this. its really hard to see how far behind he still is and its mostly about peer interaction and the sublties of questions and kindness. they really do make a difference in how i percieve his age and HIM.

not to mention that ethan was great at 2..nothing to terrible about it. now that dd is 2 however...ethans terrible THREE'S are being mimicked with girl intensity, drama, AND the terrible 2's. hopefully when we have #3 we'll have angels and the 3rd will mimick that behaivor....i can hope right?


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

At least they tell me, Danielle, that once they get past 4, they turn nicer again.

(They = friends of mine with slightly older kids.)

T does that too. I just have taken to answering my own questions because it makes me shudder when DW grills him and is close to smacking him upside the head to try to force him to answer her. He's usually scared because he did something wrong and feels bad about it, in our situation. Before we went to bed today we revisited the pool/mud situation and he knew exactly what he did wrong and what not to repeat, but he still couldn't say the words - he mimed the action instead. Which says to me that it is very clear to him that what he did was really bad behavior.


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
At least they tell me, Danielle, that once they get past 4, they turn nicer again.

(They = friends of mine with slightly older kids.)

T does that too. I just have taken to answering my own questions because it makes me shudder when DW grills him and is close to smacking him upside the head to try to force him to answer her. He's usually scared because he did something wrong and feels bad about it, in our situation. Before we went to bed today we revisited the pool/mud situation and he knew exactly what he did wrong and what not to repeat, but he still couldn't say the words - he mimed the action instead. Which says to me that it is very clear to him that what he did was really bad behavior.

i'm hoping for nicer again! i just wonder when he turned into such a snot! talking back, and screaming, and just being WOW...who the heck are you?!







cause if he stays this way...i am SO for voteing for year round schools! lol







hey 4 is just (let me count..what month is this?) 3 FULL months away...but school starts Aug 11th! yay for that. he does great in school. i guess its just me.









i'm glad he understood you were upset about it. i don't think ethan really remembers. its hard to know when hes manipulating the situation or when he really doesn't remember.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

T also is a perfect kid at school, his teachers rave about him and how polite, kind, etc he is. He went to preschool 3 full days this last week because I was at a conference and he absolutely loved it... and did well, too, said his teachers. I guess this is a VERY common phenomenon...

Becca, what do you think? You're a preschool teacher!!


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Funny location, Jen!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

oh, but Meg, it's so true. I could be vain and say that after I have the final word, there's really nothing left to say...









There are over 170 women in the Dec 08 DDC







:


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=922062 Hopefully Stacy is babymooning!! Sending all good vibes her way!!

Eli's DDC is totally dead in the water, BTW. Once we moved to the toddler forum, it petered out. Just when he's making me bonkers and I need to vent!! (Have I mentioned he's a headbanger and a food thrower?)

Jen - while I'm sure it sucked to get pelted with mud and put an end to such a well-crafted amusement, it sounds like a very reasonable response from you, carried out appropriately, with understandable resistance from T, but ultimately a good resolution.

Danielle - Yep, I taught a kid who did the same thing, and I asked a wise and well-experienced teacher for advice (this little girl basically did everything she ever heard me tell anyone to not do, then laughed and smiled when i would talk to her about it, stare blankly and smile when i asked her questions about her behavior, etc. - it made her totally unaccountable for pretty obnoxious behavior, and made me NUTS).

My and my friend's advice is to focus some energy on "floor time" (basically you playing on the floor with him, side by side, and engaging him in discussion in which you ask him non-threatening questions interspersed with just regular play). then focus on "closing the circle" - teaching him how to respond, and not moving on until he does. Making sure there is a conclusion to discussions in which he participates.

So what this would look like is you engaging him in vanilla questions like "what shape is this block?" or "how do you think this story will end?" or whatever relates to what you are doing that will help him get into the Q/A flow. Then if a situation arises where he evades discussion, you persist. Be very calm, zen-like, hide any frustration - you don't want to make him stressed. But help him find the words, and keep asking him to say them. So if you are asking, "What happened to the walls?" and he won't answer, try asking a few different ways "Did you color the walls?" "How did this marker get on the walls" (or whatever - i'm assuming you aren't asking questions you already know the answer to). If he is smiling or not talking, say, "Can't you tell me X?" Then keep going, calmly, "I need to you to say the words. I need you to tell me X." You may have to tell him exactly what you want him to say, but keep asking him to. As in, telling him "you have no other choices until you speak to me about this." If he thinks it's funny, say "I don't think this is funny. Look at my face. My face is serious, because i want us to talk about this" - help him SEE the clues on your face that this is not a joke (still being very calm and non-threatening). He's either laughing/smiling b/c he doesn't get that this is serious, or as an attempt to dodge/evade an uncomfortable situation. So you want him to see that he can't evade, that it is serious, but show him that once he "walks the walk" it's okay, and you can both move on. SO when he *does* answer the question or respond in some way, Thank him for doing so, wrap up the conversation quickly (so he doesn't regret it) and then move on.

Ideally, pushing the issue in a non-threatening way will help him see how to carry his end of the discussion and see that it's not a scary thing he needs to avoid.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
oh, but Meg, it's so true. I could be vain and say that after I have the final word, there's really nothing left to say...









There are over 170 women in the Dec 08 DDC







:









I learned all about the 'real' MDC world with Carl's DDC- they don't care!! Turns out Sept 04 moms are the only ones who understand how a conversation is supposed to work. I love us.







:

WOW!! 170 women. Amazing. I really only come to MDC to catch up with you guys and look in the diapering or bwering forums. Sometimes I go over to the vax section, but I get SO frustrated with how quickly conversations go to statements like 'if u vax ur an ijut' or other blanket statements that aren't really discussion or thoughtful at all. KWIM?! I wish we did a little more support and research together versus 'oh really, is this what you think because *I* think....'

ETA: Congrats Stacy!! What a hero. I want a baby but the mere thought of pregnancy makes me queasy. So I must live through Stacy, Jen & Ashley...







Can't wait for your kiddos.

Ashley; how is summer going?! I just read about the Nikiski Beach Access ban. Sure glad I'm done with HS out there... but I never would have made it through all four years out there without access to that beach for ahem, 'study breaks.'


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

thanks for the info becca. abstract really doesn't get through his head. not sure how to break into that. i've tried alot of different things with him and hes just a totally differently wired child.









ugh...i am feeling weird today and yesterday. i have these bursts of cleaning energy and i've been doing these spot cleans i haven't done in forever (hm...how long has THAT food been on the wall?) and now i feel like i have been run over by a truck. tired tired tired.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

I hope life gets easier when David turns 4. We didn't go through the "terrible twos". We are going through the "terrible threes". It is temper tantrum city these days in this house. I have a 5.5 year that functions like a 6 year old (temper tantrum age) and David who has decided that temper tantrums are a good thing as well. I spend a lot of time saying "When you are ready to talk, let me know." I hope next year is better.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hjohnson* 
I hope next year is better.









These are truly the words of a mother with young children.







I often feel like this also. I'll watch Carl throw a tantrum, Cecilia scream next to him and think 'well, they should grow out of this by next year.'







The anguished cries don't even bother me anymore. And to think, I NEVER let Ceci cry until she was close to 2 years old.







Thank goodness I realized I can't fix everything for her!!


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Hello Ladies! I've been reading along but not posting much because things have been pretty crazy.

Elizabeth is 75% terror and 25% angel. I think this conversation sums it up (as background, her betta fish died and instead of getting into heaven/hell, I told her the fish wanted to be a whale so his spirit left his betta body to become one).

E: Mommy, when I die I want to be a rooster.
Me: Really? A rooster? Why a rooster?
E: So I can wake you up in the morning with my cocakadoodledoo. I'm going to sit on your windowsill and cockadoodledoo till you wake up. Every morning. You'll always get up early!
Me: Um, you already wake me up every morning







: (and then thinking to myself that we're going to have rooster for dinner....).









I started dating a guy who is considerably older than I am, but he is by far the nicest, sweetest man I've ever met. And we have some kind of chemistry that is pretty good, too. He makes me







:, so that's all that matters, right?

I got a job, too! Finally I am a WOHM, well tomorrow I become a WOHM! WAH was eating away at my sanity! It's only a bartending gig, but I just love people watching, so it's going to be great for me. Atmosphere is really relaxed too, it's a local bar owned by friends.








and







: and







: and







and







: to Everyone and have a great Fourth of July!!!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

yay, samantha, on the job and the fella!!









as to elizabeth: cockadoodledoo, indeed.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Samantha - chemistry sounds like a pretty good thing... Congrats on the relationship and the job!







:

Robin can be pretty obnoxious these days too. She's out of the blue started hitting (gnetly, but a physical response is a new thing for her), pushing, bopping, etc. I announced this week that there will be no warning - being physically rough with me or her brother is an immediate timeout.

Gymnastics "camp" (3 90 minute days) was a hit. She's excited to take gymnastics in the fall, and I think it's a great physical outlet for her. One of her coaches is a former student of mine, now in college. that made me feel a bit old.

Robin announced to us that she's going to be an artist when she grows up. A picture artist, to be specific.

Our little city (Decatur is like a small town inside atlanta) has a "pied piper" 4th of july parade, with all the kids decorating their bikes, trikes, scooters, etc. Robin is excited to be "in" the parade tomorrow - and of course i have *nothing* to decorate anything with. I did get the kids red, white and blue clothes int he spring consignment sales, thankfully.

Happy fourth, everyone!


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## zen-ozz (Jan 8, 2004)

Hi everyone ~

Thanks for all the kind wishes! I had a test called "evoked potentials" which is a type of hearing and vision test where you are hooked up to electrodes which measure how your brain is responding to stimulus. That came back normal. So now the neuro wants to do a lumbar puncture to check for proteins in the spinal fluid that are present with MS. At first I was not going to do it because it can come back negative for MS, but one can still have all the symptoms, and then be positive a few years down the road. I figured I would do the diet as if it was MS and hope to really slow the progression. But the neuro said it can actually rule out other things as well, so I guess I will make the appointment on Monday.

The diet has not been easy, but I have been fairly good at keeping to it. Anyone know how to make nut butters w/o adding oil? We have a local company that makes the best nut butters. I had just become addicted to their "Adirondack Jack" butter --peanut, almond, sunflower seen, flax, cranberries and cinnamon. I have been trying to recreate it with cashew instead of peanut, with no success. I just get a mealy, yucky, non creamy mush.

DH and I are considering spending a small fortune to send me to a doctor in the Berkshires how has a great reputation for being really global in his treatment and who has had great success with autoimmune d/o. DH read his book, "Ultraprevention" a few years ago and really got a lot out of it. he now has a private clinic called Ultrawellness.

so we will see where this takes us. Meanwhile, I lost five pounds in one week from this new diet. Sheesh!

Hope everyone is well!

K


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Kristin, I had really good luck (unintentionally, actually) with roasted nuts in a Cuisinart food processor. I was trying to grind them into a fine meal for some nut cookies, and they ended up way close to nut butter because I wasn't paying close attention!!

I roasted the nuts myself, actually they were 1/2 dried and 1/2 roasted because I couldn't get my temperamental old gas stove at a low enough temp to just dry them. i was following the recipe in Sally Fallon's 'Nourishing Traditions' for crispy nuts.

Why the oil avoidance, if I might ask? I don't know the diet regime you are following.

Continued positive thoughts for your testing!!







s


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Kristin-- what exactly is the MS diet, and what is the theory behind it?
Also, does the further testing and neg. eye/ear results mean that you might not have MS??
big hug, and congrats on the five pounds! Hey, everything has a silver lining









Liz


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## zen-ozz (Jan 8, 2004)

Jen ~ No problems with most healthy oils, just wondering how nut butter companies get such smooth butter when I get a mealy mess. I wonder if roasting the nuts brings out the oils in them and makes a better butter. I guess I will try that.

Liz ~ The MS diet has three main components: limit saturated fats to 15 grams and under per day, add essential fatty acids (flax and fish, mostly), and eliminate foods that are known allergens (dairy, gluten, yeast, eggs and legumes). The theory is that MS is an autoimmune d/o that causes the body to attack its own cells. It is believed that the suspect foods lead to leaky gut syndrome which allows the food to pass from the gut into the blood stream. The immune system then attacks these food substances. At some point, the body gets tricked into believing the myelin is the food and attacks that. So, if one eliminates the suspect food and increases essential fatty acids, your body stops attacking itself and figures out how to heal. Well, that's the theory. It seems to have worked for many people, so I am hopeful it acn work for me.

Tonight, Zeke left his pacifier for the pa faery. The kids built a faery house outside in the garden and he put his pa in it. Owen wrote a note for the pa faery telling her that Zeke wanted a wheelbarrow instead of his pa. And, indeed, it looks like that is what the pa faery has left for Zeke. He is still awake in my bed, but is not fussing to much and seems to be trying to go to sleep. This seems like a huge step for Zeke. I swear he still thinks he is the baby of the family. Lets hope a little bit of self-help skill follows giving up the pa!

K


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zen-ozz* 
Tonight, Zeke left his pacifier for the pa faery. The kids built a faery house outside in the garden and he put his pa in it. Owen wrote a note for the pa faery telling her that Zeke wanted a wheelbarrow instead of his pa. And, indeed, it looks like that is what the pa faery has left for Zeke. He is still awake in my bed, but is not fussing to much and seems to be trying to go to sleep. This seems like a huge step for Zeke. I swear he still thinks he is the baby of the family. Lets hope a little bit of self-help skill follows giving up the pa!

K

Good for Zeke!!







Ceci lost the ends of hers (nukie fairy STOLE them, according to her) and she transitioned easily. Well, my mother massaged her for a week or so, then she had to be weaned off of massages!









So, those of us with little ones; are you still nursing at night? I am trying to convince Carl that he does not need to nurse at 1 am anymore and he is maaaaad! Agh, I guess I missed my chance at making this go a little more smoothly when he was a little younger. He has some serious screaming stamina and will try to wrestle me over to the right side for him to nurse.

Samantha, thumbs up







for older guys! I live with one.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Well, Sept 04 mamas, seems I was destined to be something I never thought I would become:

The mom of two boys.

baby #2 mooned us within about 10 seconds of the start of the ultrasound and that little package could not have been more evident.

I was a bit surprised and I will admit that I am a touch disappointed, but just a touch. T was also disappointed at first because he 'wanted' a baby sister. I wish no one would ever have asked him what his preference was, because it's a case where it really, really doesn't matter what he wants, you know? No way to change it. I am glad, though, that he has 20 weeks to adjust to the notion of having a baby brother instead of a sister because imagine how disappointed he would have been if we had found out at birth, he would have wanted me to send him back or swap him or something...

Anyway, halfway there and finally feeling better. Phew.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Welcome to the two boys club Jen!







I love having two boys. There are days where what it would be like to have one of each but I wouldn't change it for anything. I am sure that T will come around and come to like the idea of having a little brother.

Kristin it sounds like things are going well with the diet. I hope it works out for you.


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Hello, everyone. I'm so glad you're all still here!

I decided to take a break from MDC for a while, patially for the reasons that Meg was mentioning, and patially to try to convince myself that I could make some IRL mamma friends around here. Well, that was a complete disaster. My refusal to assimilate with the mama-borg routine has left me completely out of the loop now -- like I go to the park and find them all there -- except I wasn't invited -- kind of out of the loop. That's what I get for not sighning my sensorily challenged child up for music lessons and taking him to the 3 - 5 yr old library story time instead of the 2 - 3 yr old story time when he's asking to read chapter books. Bad mama. Oh, and they found out that dh has a subscription to Cigar Afficianado (he is way too bored around here, I tell you) and that sealed the deal.

Anyway, I'm back, and I was kind of scared to even come back on the board, for fear that you guys were all gone and I was going to be left drifting and alone . . . but you're still here. Yay!

Jen -- glad pregnancy is getting less iky. Two boys is a lot of fun -- just put everything nice up high and hide all the brooms, mops and other stick-like objects for a few years and you'll be fine.

Kristen -- sorry to hear about your health problems. Hope the diet helps. Andrew has been off dairy, penuts, tomatos, chocolate and strawberries for almost a year now and it has helped him a lot, but it is really hard to figure out a whole new way of cooking and eating.

I just read through this whole thread in one sitting, so I don't remember anything else, sorry.

We are doing ok. Really ready for vacation, which is in two weeks. Dh had a difficult year and it was a very long winter.

Andrew seems to have made it through the terrible violent destructive tantrums and the lovely fours seem to be emerging a little early -- lots of hugs and i love yous and trying to help and take care of everyone. Its really sweet. My main line of defense against the horrible tantrums was just to put him somewhere new -- his room with a few toys, or turf him outside to play in the sandbox. Or I just let him lie on the floor and wail for a bit, then sit him at the table with a drink and some playdoh, or stick him in the bath . . . some sort of alone + sensory play time seems to be what he usually needs to calm down. He's a little lawyer, though. The most commonly heard phrase coming out of my mouth these days is, "I'm NOT arguing about it, Andrew." As in, "Ëvery day we have two cups of juice and thats it. I'm not giving you another and i'm not arguing about it."

Aaron is a little firebrand! He might have been a mellow baby compared to his brother, but his first set of stitches is presently healing and he has broken about half of my dishes and has FINALLY learned that you can't just walk off of high things . . . But he is super funny and friendly already, so he's pretty fun.

Meg -- I night weaned Aaron a few months ago. It was hard, lots of screaming and staying up all night and daytime tantrums . . . but we finally seem to be down to sleeping from 7pm to 3 or 4am without nursing. It took a month or more of hard core sling walking and rocking chair rocking and sleeping on the couch and I still have to wake up a couple times a week and walk him back to sleep now. But I was just to the point where I couldn't remember anything or put a sentence together anymore, so I needed some uninterrupted sleep.

Anyway, thats all for now. Missed you ladies!


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jilly* 
Jen -- glad pregnancy is getting less iky. Two boys is a lot of fun -- just put everything nice up high and hide all the brooms, mops and other stick-like objects for a few years and you'll be fine.

I second this! My boys like to turn broomsticks into lightsabers.







Although I must admit that they use tinkertoys and k'nex for lightsabers as well. Can you tell we have a Star Wars addiction around here?









Welcome back Jill! We have missed you!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Hi Jilly!

Halfway through the commercial fishing season and halfway through my summer of single parenting, and so far I'm pretty much OK. Not a stellar mama, but OK.

Anna quit nursing at night several months ago... probably right before I got pregnant. Actually it's been a while then because I'm like 6 months pregnant now. She still stubbornly holds on to about 2 minutes of nursing before bedtime, but I hate it, and she isn't doing it right, so it hurts. I don't think she even remembers what nursing is... I haven't had any milk for 4 months or so. It's like this ritual that she still loves, though. I just need to quit doing it. She has a blanket she loves, and I lay down with her and rub her back... I know that would suffice.

Thor is being very contrary lately, and very... just, weird. He's really crazy sometimes... throwing things around, being mean to Anna, not listening at all and keeps doing things even when I've told him not to. But he's also very emotional, and gets really, really sad if I "discipline" him in any way. I wonder if all this is due to Tony being gone like all the time for the past month, and to the move. He knows we are moving again, and I know he's picked up on the stress and tension in the past months. I am sure that all this plays into his behavior. He is also in a weird stage, I think... like he wants to be doing things, but he doesn't really know what to "do." He doesnt' much like drawing or painting, and he is not very good at playing on his own. He usually gets up in Anna's playtime, which she is great at doing on her own, and then bothers her and takes her stuff away. I feel like I'm constantly telling him no or giving him reminders, but not doing that to Anna as much. It's hard.

Jen -- It's funny because Thor is insisting on a baby brother, NOT a baby sister! He even said he wants Anna to have a penis so she can be his baby brother!


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Hi Jill!!!







I was somewhere awhile ago with other mothers and I realized I have nothing in common with them.... nothing.... and for the record I am not THAT strange!







But I am certainly an attached parent.









Okay, I nightweaned Carl. And this morning Greg requested that Carl start sleeping in his own bed. I dunno why... I'm getting great sleep!! That's because Carl sleeps on top of Greg- and Carl is a thrasher. So it's a good thing I've had a few good nights in me because I don't see Carl loving his own bed... but we'll see!

Carl is also 'potty trained.' Well, our version of it. Which involves using no diapers and/or going naked. He's pretty good about telling us 'dee, dee' and he can also produce if you just set him on the potty. I get him up right away in the morning while his diaper is dry and he pees off of the porch. I should stop putting a diaper on him at night, it's usually dry. Also (my personal favorite) he is consistently pooping in the potty. So much better!! I do not like those toddler poops! Yuck.

Jen- congrats on the 2nd boy!! How fun.







:

Ashley- Cecilia is a lot like that right now also. Carl plays happily the only thing she can find to do for herself is to interrupt his playtime.







: Must be normal.

I did bite the bullet and sign Ceci up for a little Waldorf school twice a week in the fall. I think she'll be ready to handle it and something for 'her.' Plus I'll be able to get her there and still not have Carl falling apart. It's about 30 minutes away- I'm not looking forward to the drive.

So I had a little impulse purchase last night... a zero-turn riding lawnmower. Be warned- do not send me to Sears unless you want to loose all of your money. I got a fantastic bargain but dh was still unimpressed. I guess $1,800 is a lot of money for mower when your last one was free. But I am DONE using the Mastercrap every week for 3 plus hours!! I have ridden it to Braxton-Hicks Hell during the last two pregnancies and I refuse to do a 3rd that way. Some women want a dishwasher, I needed a new mower.









Kristen, we want an update!!







How are you doing?

Stacy?! Right, like Stacy has time to post here... did she have another boy?!
All my IRL AP mama friends are pregnant with their 4th already. I'm still TTA for a few months, but ahem, no promises.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

ashley, in order to try to change my mindset about when #2 is coming and hopefully avoid an induction, I finally got my butt over to the Nov DDC. I feel like I'm crashing a gigantic party. It's huge like the Dec DDC. Hope I don't kill as many threads in the Nov club as the Dec one.









Meg - good purchase!







I am one of those women who wants (and got) the dishwasher but my lawn is the size of a postage stamp, so why do I need anything more than my little push-push reel mower? And I had forgotten about those toddler poops until I watched my neighbor's kids last week while he took the cat to the vet on short notice. The 2-year-old filled his dipe with black beans and corn. Nas-TY. Plus I could find about 1 and a half sad disposable wipes to do the whole clean-up job with. I swear, I couldn't even find a washcloth or anything in their house. I almost plunked him in the tub but for the two four-year-olds (well, one 4yo and one almost 4yo) who were adamant about going outside. Made me glad I've got a slightly larger age spread to my kids.

OK, I really need to take a shower while T's at preschool...! xo


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Jen - Congrats on the Boy! I think two of the same is a fun prospect, for some reason.

Kristen - been thinking about you a lot.

Jilly - good to have you back!! Sounds like you do need a break.

I've been MIA lately. Robin is making me nuts - on a streak of none-too-thrilling behavior. Eli is now 16 months, and won't say a word. He has the requisite 7 words that put him within the range of "normal" (if you count "uh-oh" and "s'that?" as words), but otherwise just grunts and points. The headbanging is getting better, though.

I'm freaking out a bit about working 3 days a week as of the end of august, and starting law school at the same time. But I'm not doing anything to get ready for it until i finish reading "Animal, vegetable, Miracle" - it's like my last hurrah of for-pleasure reading before i put my nose back to the gridstone - but I'm only getting a few pages read each day, so it's taking forever.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Becca, I've been wondering how you will 'do it all' this fall....







When you HAVE to be organized, you are. Less time actually equals more done, because you have no wiggle room.









Isn't it odd, but the older sibs (our almost-4 year olds) continue to need the most attention?!! It sure seems to be a common theme for our group. I guess the hard part is that they can talk, walk and do quite a few things for themselves, but emotionally they are still 'babies,' I guess. Or jealous. Or something.







I don't know, but I sure feel better when I realize that you guys have tough streaks with your kids also.









Jen, my next dishwasher (yes, I am going to keep Sears in business) is going to be an Electrolux. They are made in St. Cloud and they are awesome!! I can justify spending a little more b/c they are made right at the little factory we drive by on our way into town.







My mother is also an Electrolux nut.







s Actually, she's getting all of us an expensive vacuum for xmas, she already decided. I feel like such an American- I've never had all this suburban 'stuff' before!!

Jilly, how much does Aaron talk? Becca, Carl only uses 'dee,dee' (that means a lot of things) 'ba-cat' (bobcat, duh) and 'baba!' (papa). He can grunt out 'mama' or 'nana' sort of, on request b/c Cecilia is trying to 'teach' him to talk by making him deaf saying 'mama! SAY MAMA!' Darn those goofy Amanda & Oliver Pig books!

Heather, when did speech come for your boys?! Slowly, if I remember correctly...?! Just wondering.









Jen & Ashley, I am excited for your new kiddos.







: I can't wait to hear name ideas.

Ashley, when are you moving? Did you find a house or are you renting? It was really disheartening to watch Exxon play politics and win in Supreme court this spring. Alaskans have been having interesting (yet very simplistic) talk about the decision on the online newspaper comments. Of course they wanted to know how their elected officials could turn on them... well....


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## zen-ozz (Jan 8, 2004)

Becca ~ Law school! I am a little jealous -- and I also think you are a little crazy!







I am the geek who LOVES to listen to the Supreme Court Justice nomination hearings! Nobody is allowed to speak to me when they are on.

Meg ~ I have that expensive Electrolux vacuum and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! It was worth every penny. I refused to vacuum before we bought that one because our last one was so loud and heavy. Zeke called the vacuum Dada when he was a baby because I never vacuumed! Yeah for your super duper mower!

Sounds like all these near-four-year olds are pushing us to our limits. Zeke still doesn't realize that he is not the baby of the family. He takes so much of my time and energy. Yesterday, it was pouring rain here all day, so we decided to go to the Automobile Museum, which is literally five minutes from our house. Four kids plus my wretched mother into the car in the pouring rain. Pull up to the museum, parking lot is full, and I assume this means that lots of other people have the same idea. Four kids and wretched mother out of the car in the pouring rain. We walk into the entrance and are kindly informed that they are closed to change the exhibition. Hey, do you think you could put a notice in the paper or put a sign out in the parking lot?????? Customer service anyone??? So Zeke proceeded to have a melt down. When I finally got him in the car he said, "I am really mad at those people. I should shoot them!"







: I'm raising a school shooter or a future postal worker.

I am feeling very well, considering. I decided not to have the lumbar puncture (which is a diagnostic tool) because I just don't think it is safe, I don't know this neurologist well and I would want a second opinion first. So, I have an appointment with the neurologist a week from today to follow up on the other tests I had. Meanwhile, I have been very strict with the diet and am definitely seeing a reduction in symptoms. The weird eye glitch is gone. The electric current feeling throughout my body is gone. The tingling in my legs and arms is gone. I am still having cognitive problems, mostly fogginess, and headaches, but it IS better, and I am more focused on creating systems to help deal with it. I truly believe continuing on the diet will heal the lesions in my brain and that I can totally eliminate the symptoms over time.

Oh, and about said wretched mother? She has been here for three days and has not one asked me about MS and what is going on with me. HHHMMMM. So there is a legitimate reason for me to feel like I don't really have a mother! She is a nurse, and I think she is pissed that I am not treating this pharmaceutically. I think she secretly hopes that I don't get better with the diet so that she can be right. Give me strength . . . .

K


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Kristen -- glad to hear your symptoms are lessening. Sounds brutal. Zeke and Andrew sound a lot the same -- he also refuses to go to the bathroom by himself, and has a screaming fit every time he has to do anything at all by himself.

Meg -- Congrats of the ride-on lawn mower. And I long for a vaccum that actually picks things up off the floor rather than just swirly them around and dropping them somewhere else in the house.

Ashley -- I hope things are going better for you. When I heard the Exxon thing was not going through I thought of you and wondered what you guys were going to do. Hope Tony's arm is feeling better.

Becca -- you always have an amazing list of things you are involved in and you always seem to pull it off without a hitch. I'm sure law school and part time work will be the same.

Aaron has a ton of words, and he's enunciating really clearly for some of them. The other day Dh and the two boys picked up supper at the grocery store, and I was downstairs, and I hear this call of "supper!", and I look up the stairs and it is Aaron calling! He can also say "Daddy"really clearly (go figure) and he also says: dog, mtrbike (motorbike), nurrrs, othersi(de -- ie- other boob -- sigh), Adew, Aaron, me, cat, pat, bike, go, park, shovel, boot, shoos, on, off, outside, mommy, bath, shirt, nose, mouth, ears, eyes, knees, hands, feet, duck, guy (his favorite word right now), cup, fork, cereal, milk, nectadine (nectarine, my favorite), lunch . . . and a few more I'm forgetting. He also has a few two word phrases already -- "Aaron go" and "go outside " and "my guy, my milk, my cup", etc, etc. Yesterday he said his first phrase -- Aaron go to park -- when we asked him (faseciously) what his favorite part of the day had been. I think he's going to be really competitive, though, becuase he tries to do everything Andrew does -- only better -- and so it would follow that he puts a lot of energy into talking becuase thats what Andrew does best of all.

Its funny, because after I posted about Andrew not throwing that many tantrums, i went through a few days with that at the back of my mind. I realized that its not that he doesn't throw tantrums . . .its just that they've become the constant background noise to my day, so I just don't notice them anymore. He seriously has a tiny fit every time he has to put on or take off any item of clothing, or go to the bathroom by himself, or we refuse any request or Aaron irritates him or someone or something doesn't follow the mysterious plan he has in his head for how his day should go. But as soon as he actually does the thing he was anxious about, the noise goes away and he goes on with his day just fine, so I have just accepted that this is just part of having a very vocal, easily frustrated perfectionist in the house.

I second that we commense the discussion of names for Ashley and Jen's babies.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

ok, knock your bad selves out.

We are looking for a German, Welsh, Irish, Scottish or British name.

Must fit with the middle name Wesley.

Anything in the top 100 of the Social Security Administration Names List is right out.

About the only name we have agreed that we like at this point is Eamon. We also like Rory but I think Rory Wesley sounds goofy.

Apologies in advance, but I had a student named Patrick (one of her favorite names, she wants to call him Paddy) who was a real







, and I refuse to name a child that. Likewise, she thinks the name Nigel is only for sissies, try telling that to international rugby referee Nigel Owens.







:

Also, while we like the name Angus, it immediately conjures up images of herds of large black cattle, so that's a scratch, too. And besides, it would mean our kids would be T & A, which is either absolutely horrible or gives you a snide giggle, depending on your sense of humor.

Oh, and Jo has also nixed Rhys.







: (Welsh, pronounced like 'Reece')

Talk amongst yourselves.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Ooohh...fun. I love Rhys and Rory. Nigel does sound a bit nerdy, IMHO







Wesley is a great name too!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 
Wesley is a great name too!

Wesley is my uncle.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Meg -- We are moving late August. I can't believe that's only like 3 weeks away. Your lawnmower sounds sweet. You must have a lot of lawn to mow!

Jen -- I really like the name Erik. That's what we would have named this baby if it were a boy. Erik Wesley is pretty nice together, too. I also *adore* the name Anders. That was actually my first boy name choice but Anna and Anders are way too similar. Other thoughts: Nils, Lars, Peter, Conor, Kyle. Oh, and I'll look for you in the Nov DDC! I don't post there a ton, but I do lurk a lot. I also lurk in the Oct DDC because my due date is Nov 1st, so I wonder if I'll be an Octoberer.

Our current favorite for this baby is Sonja Margaret. Margaret is my grandmother's name. I also really like Sonja Aurora, though, but it sounds a little sing-songy. We both like Evelyn, but it doesn't "fit" so well with Thor & Anna. At least not as well as Sonja, I think. I also love that Sonja is a very old Viking name.









I'm suddenly feeling much bigger and more uncomfortable. Even though I've really been feeling great, it's like the past couple days I'm like, woah, my belly is heavy, and I still have 3 more months to go!







I also kinda have heartburn now.

Anna is weaned and potty trained, all within the space of about a week!!







She's like, super toddler or something. She is amazing. As long as she's diaperless, and even sometimes if she's wearing loose pants, she runs to the potty on her own, announcing, "ANNA, PEE!" And she goes in there and goes. It's awesome. She also does this hilarious robot dance. She says a ton of words, in two and three word sentences. I have to post some pictures, she's just such a sweet curly blonde-haired girl.

Hugs to everyone!!


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Jen -- I like Erik. Or what about Aiden -- is that popular right now? Or Ethan (I think that is pretty popular right now). My nefew-in-law is named Eamon and I like that, too. And then he could always be named after the theologian -- John Wesley.

AShley - Anna sounds amazing! Aaron is totally not potty trained. He goes in fits and starts -- when I put him in underwear he pees every 15 min, but then in a diaper he'll be dry for an hour or more, and then when I take his diaper off he'll go and pee in Andrew's room. Thats his favorite spot to pee, actually. When put on the potty he laughs and runs away. What a goof.

I like Sonja, its really pretty.

Andrew is in a real snit latey -- he refuses to do everything I ask him to do and does the opposite. Then when I correct him he says "Don't talk to me like that, mommy. tHat's not nice." Arg.

Dh is gone on his yearly motorcycle trip. He left last night and drove through a huge rain storm -- he said that his rain pants were shredded by the wind, and I'm just hearing that 5 or 6 tornados touched down last night across the province. Crazy man.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jilly* 
Jen -- I like Erik. Or what about Aiden -- is that popular right now? Or Ethan (I think that is pretty popular right now).

Aidan is the little *@#! at T's preschool who hits, bites, spits and teaches the other kids phrases like "you smell like a butt". So I think Aidan/Aiden are out, too.









Ashley, I have to say no to Kyle, along with Matt, John, Rob, David, Dietmar, Brent, Steven and Joshua... ex-boyfriends


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Augs - Sonja (with the J) - i dig it! I like Aurora - I don't think it's sing-songy. Margaret is my mom's name, and we were thinking about a version of it for a middle name if we had a girl #2 (like Margaritte (sp.) or Magritte like the artist)

Jen - Griffin! Garrick/Garreth, Owen, Seth/Seith, Rees (if jo doesn't like the spelling), Kai/Cai, Elian, Morgan. I knew a Garrick who was a really great guy.

Right now, my kids are the best birth control ever. just the thought of having another makes my skin crawl - after a day of Eli throwing all. our. stuff. on the ground - including emptying the trash can, carrying the recycling bin around the house and throwing items all over the place, climbing on the dining table and emptying robin's collage box (including feathers and sequins) on the floor, not to mention EVERY peice of food i offered him all day (except the raisins). It's fun to brainstorm names for you guys' kids!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
Ashley, I have to say no to Kyle, along with Matt, John, Rob, David, Dietmar, Brent, Steven and Joshua... ex-boyfriends



















I'm glad you all like Sonja! 







We were also thinking of Astrid, but for some reason it's not my favorite now.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AugustineM* 









I'm glad you all like Sonja!







We were also thinking of Astrid, but for some reason it's not my favorite now.

I really like Astrid, it's such a cool name, but Sonja Margaret sounds really nice- especially with Thor and Anna. Thor, Anna & Sonja. Wait. You could easily do Thor, Anna & Astrid. Ohh, cute!!









Jen- I love Erik. It's just cool. John Wesley is pretty neat also, but Tristan and John?!! Not sure.







Tristan & Erik sounds good, how about Wesley for a first name?!! Boys names are hard. Oh, I like Kai also, but mainly because I totally connect it with Kai Ryssdal from Marketplace. How about Ira?! Ira Glass, of course.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *midwestmeg* 
Jen- I love Erik. It's just cool. John Wesley...

No! Sorry! Can't do John! Can't name child with same name as ex-bf! Sorry!

I love the name Wesley, and I've never met a Wes I didn't like, but my uncle is still very much alive and it just feels weird to me to give a kid a first name of someone who is still alive. Middle name, sure, but not first. I don't know why, it's strange, and I'm not even Jewish (I know that's a common taboo in naming Jewish kids, to name them after people who are still alive), but there it is.

I like Kai too, but it seems really trendy in the Waldorf circles (starting to push up there with Indigo and Sage) and it's too much alliteration with my last name.

It's not the spelling of Rhys that Jo doesn't like, it's just the name.

Ashley I like Sonja. And I think it works with Aurora, even. I'm glad to have cracked you up with the ex-bf remark. If we were having a girl, it would have been easier... I only have one ex-gf, and Jo's two exes had the same name (kind of creepy!), and they all start with 'K' so they get the big alliteration thumbs down, too.

Oh, eventually, he will get a name...


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Nice to know I'm not the only one who







's Kai and ira (glass and rissdal, that is). Dh and I plan our drive home on Sunday night from the river around "This American Life"


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Well, hello mama's







. I've visited this thread a time or two but I'm going to join you all now.

I read through a little bit but I'll just have to keep up from here on out.

Anyways, just a quick intro...

My Sept. '04 baby is my dd Jaden born on the 28th. She was my first...I'm due with my third in October.

Look forward to chatting with you all.

BTW. I really like the name Nigel and I don't think it sounds sissy at all - I think of a strong, sensitive person.

I do love the name Wesley.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Welcome, Janasmama! I am also due with my third around Halloween, my first is my Sept 04 baby, then Anna, June 06, and now our last, probably another girl. Jump right in!

Today suddenly the name Maeve came to me and all day I've been thinking about how much I love it.

Jen, what about the name Leif? It could be pronounced either "Leaf" or "Layf"


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Ashley, Leif is nice. very scandinavian, but nice. I had a student Leif who is going into 8th grade, but he's a very likable kid. Only drawback is that no one seems to be sure how to pronounce it... my student is 'layf', I had one when I student taught who was 'leaf' and I've also heard 'life'. But I'm tucking that one into the back of my head.

Maeve! Lovely. Very Irish.









I've been stuck on the name Riordan (pronounced like 'reardan') lately. Of course it's been nixed by my darling spouse







: but I still can't shake it.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 

I've been stuck on the name Riordan (pronounced like 'reardan') lately. Of course it's been nixed by my darling spouse







: but I still can't shake it.

If you REALLLY like it, just name him without Jo. That's my total plan for my #3rd- wait until Greg leaves and name the kid.







'Cause Greg is a big nixer but not a big contributer.

Oh here, I'll kill Nigel for you- its the name of our Rottweiler. He's a likeable dog, though! I frequently mix Carl and Nigel up, so I had even mentioned just calling the next kid Nigel, since the dog Nigel is getting pretty old. Nigel is named for the Primus song, of course.









I love the name Leif. I think you are probably right about the popularity of Kai.

Welcome Janasmama!!







You'll have lots to talk about with us if you are having a baby this fall also.









And btw, I have managed to tta successfully for another month!! Every month I cut it a little closer and pay less and less attention, but have still tta, so now I am probably getting pretty falsely confident. Or else I'm a FAM genius.







Probably not. Everyone around me is busy growing #4 in my neck of the woods.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Dude, Becca, you've got to update your blog!!!







Post some pictures of those adorable children.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

I have totally been thinking all week about updating my sad, neglected blog - but I'll have to do it after the kids are abed...

Welcome jannasmama!!

I'm paying a babysitter friday to take my kids away so i can clean. I am a desparate woman.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Ugh, paying a babysitter to clean...I would feel totally cheated. I'd much rather do something fun.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Meg - Blog updated! Well, 2 new posts in 18 months...

Janasmama - TELL me about it. I'm probably paying the sitter more than i would pay a housekeeper to come. but it's an investment in my sanity.

Speaking of insanity - I complained to my mother about my state, and she offered to come stay next week....and i took her up on it. this will either go very well, or VERY badly.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Guess who has created, printed, copied, cut, pinked (is that a word for using pinking shears?), glued, addressed and stamped birthday party invites already? ME!!

I've also already booked the location, figured out the time/events/theme, etc. Nothing as fancy as it sounds - i reserved the pavilion at a nearby playground, and we're doing an early-evening picnic. I couldn't face the possibility of having people at my house this year - this is our first party away from home. In leiu of favors/lootbags, we're going to have an art project that is a take-home (I'm hoping I can find materials for making magic wands the kids anc paint and glue, but if not we'll do paint-a-pot and send everyone home with a bag of seeds). She wants a Unicorn cake, and since target had Abby Cadabby tableclothes on clearance, we're calling it a "unicorns and fairies" party.

My cheesy invitation poem:

Robin is such a monkey;
She loves to climb and play!
She hopes that you will
come play, too,
On her special day!

Robin H*** is turning four!
She thought it would be a lark
If you could come to her party:
A cookout at the park!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

you are so on top of it I could almost despise you if I didn't like you so much.









T wants to have his birthday party at the local bowling alley. That would be a riot, I think - a whole buncha 4-year-olds?!


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

at least you have parties! we have never thrown a bday party with a whole bunch of little kids....ever. i can't afford it although i think it would be fun and i think it would be a total waste on ethan....when ayla gets to 3 she may like it but for now....ugh. ethan does good enough with blowing out a candle on our bday day for all the kids in playgroup.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Way to go Becca! J really wants a party this year....she's been talking about it on a weekly basis since January.









Her favorite thing to do is play dress up so she really wants it to be a dress up princess party. I've only done two other b-day parties for her. I'm not into the big, lots of kids parties. We invite about 4-6 friends and that makes it affordable and for her it seems like something big.

I typically spend somewhere btwn 60-80 dollars and then if it's a tight month the party _is_ her gift. The county fair comes in Sept, the week of her b-day so last year she had the option of going to the fair or having a party. She chose the fair. This year I think we'll do both.

If anyone has any good ideas for fun 'princess' food please share them.


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Last year was our first party for Andrew -- we had 3 families come over, which was plenty of kids for my spirited boy to handle, and enough plastic added to our household stock. But I think I might have offended a bunch of people that I didn't invite, because that was the beginning of my social decline around here. But seriously, was I doing a birthday party for my son, or to make the ladies in my town feel good? The former, I think. We had self-serve burritos and chocolate cake and they played in the sand box and made and knocked over towers made of orange boxes. The food was supposed to be an outside picnic, but it rained, so I just lay out blankets in the living room instead. Really classy event. As usual I failed to be culturally appropriate and tried to serve burritos and chocolate cake without cutlery and then everyone wanted forks and I didn't have enough and I spent a bunch of time washing forks . . . it was ridiculous.

This year we'll do the same -- have four or five families over and eat outside. I'm going to make the "Wall of Sound" from The Creative Family (has anyone else read that book yet? Really amazing stuff in there) -- ie hang noisy things to bang from our swing set -- and we might tie dye t-shirts or playsilks for the activity / take home thing. I figure that shouldn't be too steep -- home made cake, finger foods, playsilks, dye and we're done. Also, my friend is unloading her plastic workbench and tools on me, so I'm going to buy that for Andrew for his birthday, I think (which will be about $20, I'm guessing). My ILs always just send money, so I'll have to figure out what to get from them while we're away. I'm sure I"ll be able to find some cool Playmobil or maybe some Plan stuff for him from them.

We've survived pretty well with DH away for the week, although Andrew did have a huge meltdown last night. I think that was because we were at the park with my friends and they had some snack mix stuff with cheezies and cheese doritos that Andrew ate, so I think he had a sore tummy.

On a sort or random note, related to names, Andrew has really embraced his name lately. His name means "Brave Beloved"and we told him that being brave doesn't mean you're not scared, it just means you try things even when you are scared. In the last few weeks he's been trying all kinds of things, and yesterday he went on a floating dock and a swinging bridge -- both of which he's formerly been terrified to do). When he does them he says, "How come I"m brave? Because I'm Brave Beloved". Its really cool.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Are many of you allowing your child to go to preschool this fall? I think I'm going to let dd go 2 half days per week. That's all we can afford plus I want to transition her slowly.

I use to be anti-preschool but with a new baby on the way and an under 2 yo. I don't feel like I can give/do all that I want her to be able to do as far as art projects, etc. Plus she's really social. Every night before bed she asks "where are we going tomorrow?" and we just don't have that much to do around here.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

"princess food" - robin went to a princess birthday party a few months ago that was 3 girls (plus birthday girl and her sister) - it was a drop-off and leave party, although i stayed b/c i was bringing Robin's friend who has a severe peanut allergy, so I stayed to monitor food. the Party consisted of one little craft project, playing dress-up in the girl's room, eating pizza (1 from a local shop) and cake. It was on a friday afternoon - very small and simple. Her "princess" food was a half-circle cake with a doll shoved in the middle. the cake was baked in a pyrex bowl then inverted like a half circle. then a barbie-type doll was shoved in the middle and the whole thing (including the doll) was iced like a princess dress - very cute and special. Ohm and the mom decorated a barstool as a princess chair and took each girl's picture in her dressup sitting on the "throne"

Preschool: I went back to work part-time when robin was 1, and put her in a PMO program while i worked. She loved it, and we've done preschool since. She went 3 mornings a week at 2 (this was also when we were in china/back from china/Eli was a newborn). Last year, we had moved and enrolled late, and ended up only being able to find a 5-day spot. We took it, but really it was too much for us - too many rushed mornings. i worked M/T/Th, so she had to go those days, but she missed a lot of Fridays.

This year, she'll be attneding the fantastic cooperative, nature-based, waldorf and reggio-influenced preschool where I teach, 9-12:45. She's elgible for the public pre-K (sept 1 birthday! - the cutoff day), but it runs longer - til around 3 - and that is too much for her still. We're in a great district and the pre-k is great. But I want her to stay in a small, nurturing, cooperative school and benefit from that sense of community.

We just had our first preschool workday as parents - painting her classroom, staining wooden furniture, building planting boxes for gardening activities....I'm looking forward to her being there! I know preschool isn't for every family, and if I had it to do again I would not have put her in the school she was in in the US when she was 2. But the other schools she's been in have been great, creative, play-based, totoally non-academic, etc. - and she loves it.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

T started out last year at a language immersion preschool and LOVED it, and it was so good for his language (I've been speaking it with him since he was born, but I was really his only source of the language). He really wanted to stay there this coming year, and I really wanted Waldorf for balance to his mainstream preschool (although not nearly as mainstream as it could be), so he's actually going *5* days a week in September and I hope it isn't too much for him - we'll see - the immersion school has a 3-day-a-week minimum starting in fall, so he couldn't just go 2 as he has been this year.

We'll see. Off to do errands!!


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

e went to preschool last year as well for 4 days a week for about 3.5 hours. he went to public school so even rode the bus (the big ones!). it was for his language delay and he still qualifies so he'll go again this year as well for 4 days a week. its all FREE thankfully as we can't afford ANYTHING like that at all right now. its the NEXT year that i am worried about. its likely he may have developed enough to not need preschool but he won't be able to go to K yet so we'll have a year of either having to pay or having him home. i am not sure what i will do!


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

I WISH we had a waldorf school here...or even waldorf inspired. The school we are going to go to said they don't press academics. They just want them to be able to write their name. I just don't want her to feel pressured to learn b/c I know it all comes in time.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

I've enrolled Thor in 3 days a week at a coop preschool in the small town we'll be living in on Whidbey Island. He's never really been before. I'm a little worried about it because it involves me helping in the classroom 3x a month... and i'll have to figure out what to do with anna during those times, and then the baby. But it's very affordable, and i figure a great way to meet other families.

I don't know what to do for thor's birthday. Maybe we'll do something at our new place and invite friends over to the island, since it may be their first visit there.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Our school is not academical-focused at all, but in the 4-5 year old class the kids will be expected to sign themselves in everyday and put their name on their art projects (when on paper), whatever that looks like for them. If it's "pretend writing" that's fine.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Hey, you guys made all the ads at the bottom light up with 'princess' things-







We use princess like a bad word around here, so Cecilia has no desire for any of that!







I didn't even realize we do it, but when I think back, being called 'princess' in my house meant you weren't capable/self sufficent/tough enough to do it yourself!







Maybe that's why I still freak out when I don't see women outside digging their own post holes around here.









Don't worry, Cecilia is still all girl though and she LOVED it when her friend had a little 'princess' party. That one consisted of a few games (played in dress up 'princess' clothes) and a big play-doh session. I think the cake was pink as an ode to princess.









So we took a few photos at the fair yesterday (and some other random shots)... here they are!

Ack, birthdays! You guys are so great with the parties!! Anything you do is more than I've ever done- we just have a big family birthday and Greg and I invite our adult friends/families and call it good.







But this year we went to a backyard party with 'streamers, balloons and fun stuff to do' and now that is what Ceci is requesting. Oh help, I am the last person to organize games and 'fun stuff.'

I did consent to two days a week of Waldorf preschool for Ceci this fall. She's probably finally ready. I absolutely would not feel bad about NOT doing preschool though, b/c if you are spending time at all with your kiddo at home then they are right on track with what they need. Preschool is over-hyped social time (although there are great ones, Becca & Jen omg, how fantastic) but I think they are sooo optional. That's what I tell myself, b/c I often do not feel like imposing a schedule or social system on my little family yet. I'm bad, I know!!









Jilly, 'brave beloved' is awesome.







That made me smile.

Okay, its noon and I am still in pj's. I did manage to drink most of the coffee and read the front page of the paper, so the day is a success!!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

My kiddo needs that over-hyped social time, because if it were just he and I every day, we would make each other insane. Our backyard is the size of a postage stamp, he is an only child and believes that he is entitled to 100% of my attention, all the time, and so he won't play by himself hardly at all, and at some point every single day, he NEEDS TO GO FOR A WALK which is starting to get really exhausting for me in this (relative, and I don't want to hear anything about how hot it is in the rest of the country and that I'm a whiner because frankly, I think 90+ and a 70 degree dewpoint is unpleasant enough even if it's worse elsewhere... sorry I'm hypersensitive about this after a woman from Houston in my DDC chided me for being such a wuss!







: There is a REASON I don't live in Atlanta or Houston or New Orleans or Biloxi...)heat. Oh, and none of the neighborhood kids want to come to our house, I think because we live SO far away (2 blocks is a long way, you know), half of them can't come in because we have cats and the rest no longer are at home during the day because their parents are both back at work and they're in daycare.

So that's why we pay for the over-hyped social time because it's social time, outside time at a playground (on-site), singing time, craft time, coloring time, snack time and someone-else-can-interact-with-him-who-isn't-mama time. It makes all of us much happier.

and for the record: T would flip if he could have a pink cake for his birthday. I think I'll have to consider this now.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

In my house, i know i need preschool as much as Robin does. Especially when I was pregnant and had a newborn at home. Now, it's the only one-on-one time Eli gets with me, and we both need it.

Jen - even though it's been in the high 90's/100's and we haven't run the a/c yet, I won't call you a wimp







Boy my hair was flat when we went to that wedding in Idaho in July. I depend on humidity for volume.

Augs - at my school, moms can bring babies on their P/T day as long as they are in a sling or carrier - newborns are welcome. And some of th emoms trade watching each others' toddlers.

Danielle - so, Ethan will be too old for his current program, but not old enough for kindergarten? Is there a 4 year "pre-K" class that would be a good bridge for him?

Jilly - Good for Andrew, being brave. that's sweet.


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

becca~ yeah i am 99% sure that ethan will be 1 month over the deadline for k in 09. the preschools here will take 5 yr olds i think but i can't afford reg. preschool let alone anything that would help him with his differentness. preschool's here for 3 days a week are i think $300 a month or so. plus we live in the not so good part of town and anything i know off/hear about is in the "east side" which is FAR. hard for us who are stuck between middle class and poverty!


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

hi, janasmama! Sorry I neglected to say welcome -- welcome!

We are going to do playschool this year. Last year I got majorly frowned on for not putting Andrew in the one-morning-a-week program (I'm sure you guys heard about it already, I just don't remember) and all the other preschool activities about town, but he really wasn't ready for them. This year he is finally gaining some confidence and self-sufficency, so I think he will like it this year. The program here is two mornings a week, and pretty play oriented from what I understand. That is just right for us, and I think Aaron will enjoy the undivided attention, but will probably miss his brother.

Well, I am anxiously awaiting a call from dh to make sure he is still alive. He's been on what he likes to call his "read and ride" where he drives through national parks in the US and camps and reads theology for his educational leave. The only thing is that he's not in contact much. I haven't heard from him since Wed and I'm supposed to meet him in Regina tomorrow. The car is packed, I just need to sweep the floor and then get the boys dressed tomorrow morning and go.

Jen -- I hate to tell you this, but Andrew is still a lot like that and he's not an only child anymore. I still get constant wails of "PLAY with me mommy!" all day. I try to get down on the floor and pretend play with him for a bit every day, but he does need to learn that I've got stuff to do other than just attend to him. Also, I am terrible in hot weather, too, and find anything above 90 and humid too hot.

ETA: Meg, great photos! I love the one of Cecelia and Carl both looking mildly terrified yet fascinated while sitting on Greg's lap. The infectious diseases one is hilarous too.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jilly* 
Jen -- I hate to tell you this, but Andrew is still a lot like that and he's not an only child anymore. I still get constant wails of "PLAY with me mommy!" all day. I try to get down on the floor and pretend play with him for a bit every day, but he does need to learn that I've got stuff to do other than just attend to him.

My little Jaden is like this too. She's _always_ asking me to play with her. It's a big deal for her if I need to do something else. Usually I don't even start doing anything around the house until at least 10a.m. b/c I spend the early morning with the kids. Then I do some stuff...take of them, spend more time with them and then get back to housework. This might seem mean but it can get really bad for us...the amount of playtime she thinks I owe her....so I tell her that I'm not her playmate and that it's okay for her to play by herself.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Meg - I forgot to say the pix were very cute. We have our big state fair in october, and robin has been begging to go since december. She's getting delirious with excitement. I was still thinking of Carl as a baby - even though he's older than *my* toddler - but it's been since he was a baby that you shared pix!

I have new pix of both kids on my blog, FYI.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
My kiddo needs that over-hyped social time, because if it were just he and I every day, we would make each other insane.

Jen-







I wasn't trying to say that preschool/program time is bad, I am always just defensive b/c like many of us, I too, get asked on a daily basis how much 'school' Ceci is in. I also have friends who can't afford it, so I do try to reassure them that life won't end if their kiddos aren't in preschool.









I don't think it matters how hot 'hot' is.... when you are pg it's a whole different ball game!! Plus I found being pg the second time around much more tiring... and many moms in the ddc's are pg with #1.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jilly* 

ETA: Meg, great photos! I love the one of Cecelia and Carl both looking mildly terrified yet fascinated while sitting on Greg's lap. The infectious diseases one is hilarous too.

They are watching cars crash at the demo derby.... Cecilia found the mud most fascinating







and Carl liked the forklifts that picked up the dead cars.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 
Meg - I forgot to say the pix were very cute. We have our big state fair in october, and robin has been begging to go since december. She's getting delirious with excitement. I was still thinking of Carl as a baby - even though he's older than *my* toddler - but it's been since he was a baby that you shared pix!

I have new pix of both kids on my blog, FYI.

I noticed the pix!! Your kids are so beautiful.

We took the kids to the Stearns Co fair but we've already planned an 'adults only' outing to the big state fair- how bad is that?!! We (me, greg, mom, greg's dad & beloved uncle dan) all want a day off from my children!! Plus the state fair is so big, it's pretty overwhelming. So this year we'll pile in the van and really be able to enjoy the food, beer garden and animal tents.

Must go, my kids are sick so I'm at home and they are decorating eachother with shredded tissue.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Ok. Not been posting much at all here or rest of MDC. Why? Because I am crazy. Why am I crazy? We just adopted, sight unseen, two Newfoundland Dogs, from Missouri newf rescue.

Don't know what a newf is?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newfoundland_(dog)

Winston, still a pup at a year and a half, weighing in at 130 lbs, was such an amazing handful when he was delivered, by van, late at night to me. His friend Millie, almost seven, is smaller and easier, though never has lived in a house or with people...

Winston was basically a bowling ball knocking down the kids, chasing them, etc. Millie was at first terrified of us and not housebroken. Gradually, over the last month, things have settled down.

But let me tell you.... there was a couple of times with two young kids and these two dogs, I thought "I can't do this!"

But you know how it is, they come, you meet them, they are here ... you love them (pretty much instantly, see picture in above article to see why). And that's it, they are here to stay.

The rescue organization thought we were an experienced newf household (true, I had had two rescue before). However... they hadn't remembered how challenging having an almost four year old and a two year old is with such enormous dogs. I should have known but I had forgotten how much initial adjustment there is with rescue (or any) dogs...

But, I'm here now... so clearly things have quieted down.

But let's just say I've been on the MDC equivalent for Newfs (called NewfNet) a lot the last month asking for advice... instead of here.

But I have been keeping up by reading this post...

The kiddies are doing OK!

Liz


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

oh dear! thread killah!


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Yeah - you killed us Liz!
If your newfs look like that black on in the picture, i totally get why you love them! How super cute.

My mom came into town Monday afternoon, and is leaving tomorrow. She came to help with the kids so I could get some house project done (major cleaning/organizing). I have definitley gotten a lot done. But it's just not a great addition to our household. We have *very* different ideas about parenting, childhood, what's important, etc. Plus it's frustrating to me that her energy is so low (and therefore her patience and endurance) - she's only 63, and everything remotely physical (like carrying her own purse in a grocery store) is a challenge b/c she lives such a sedentary lifestyle. It's hard not to say something.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Liz - we are join thread assasins, I suppose.

Robin is *so* into the olympics! It's fun to watch with her, and see her try to do what the atheletes are doing. Too bad it's on so late.

Tonight is my first night back at school. I have three days of law school orientation, for which I have to read a book, read a packet of articles, read the first 7 chapters of a textbook, and read and summarize a case. For friigin' orientation. I think they're trying to scare us away. 6 chapters and the case to go!


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 

Tonight is my first night back at school. I have three days of law school orientation, for which I have to read a book, read a packet of articles, read the first 7 chapters of a textbook, and read and summarize a case. For friigin' orientation. I think they're trying to scare us away. 6 chapters and the case to go!

How exciting!!!


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 
Liz - we are join thread assasins, I suppose.

Tonight is my first night back at school. I have three days of law school orientation, for which I have to read a book, read a packet of articles, read the first 7 chapters of a textbook, and read and summarize a case. For friigin' orientation. I think they're trying to scare us away. 6 chapters and the case to go!

You can do it. It's only three years, and just keep plowing.........

Liz


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Liz -- We had two newfoundlands when I was very young... my parents had Buffy before I was born and then she got kicked by a moose and died when I was about 2, so they got another one, named her Buffy again, and then a couple years later they found her dead, too. They think she was also kicked by a moose. I don't think moose and newfies mix very well. But man, do I remember Buffy and how great she was (both of them). She used to sit really close to our wood stove and I remember the snow melting off her fur and then her fur getting singed by the fire. She could go out in 40 below no problem!

One day I will own greyhounds. I love them. I'd love to have two when I'm older.

We're leaving in a week. All our stuff is in boxes and our container was supposed to arrive today for us to load, but some snafu is delaying it until tomorrow morning. Then we fly to WA next Monday.

Anna is growing by leaps and bounds every day. Today she put her own shirt on, correctly, by herself. She came out saying, "Anna, on, own. No mama. Only Anna."


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AugustineM* 
Liz -- "Anna, on, own. No mama. Only Anna."









Cuuuuute!!
Yah, newfs are a special, special breed. Very good with kids.
Hey, good luck with the move. You deserve a good year.... yah really had a challenge this past one!

liz


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Augs - Hope the move goes well. Anna is getting so big!

Eli finally picked up another word (it's like word 8, he's almost 17 months, and he *may* say one of those 8 words a day) - it's toothbrush. Or, f'rush, to be precise. The boy loves to brush his teeth.

Robin asked me which wall I'm going to climb. I asked her what she meant. she said, "in wall school - which wall are you going to climb? The one with the turtles (a local mural)?"


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Liz -- you are a brave woman. I love other people's big dogs, but I barely have the energy for two gregarious, active children, never mind adding two dogs!

Becca -- your brain will warm up soon. I spent a year off between my ba and my education program and it only took a few weeks to get back into the mode.

Augs -- hope the move goes well.

WEll, obviously Dave was not kicked by a moose in the Rockies. He was behind in his trip because he got sunstroke. Oh, gotta go, freaking out child.


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## Almamiel (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 
Tonight is my first night back at school. I have three days of law school orientation, for which I have to read a book, read a packet of articles, read the first 7 chapters of a textbook, and read and summarize a case. For friigin' orientation. I think they're trying to scare us away. 6 chapters and the case to go!

You can do it, Becca!









Just jumping in for a brief word of encouragement


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Peeking my nose in to say Hello Ladies!! I had gone off the internet for a long time because my real life became much more interesting, and busy. And recently it seems I have more time at home and here I am again. I am also a little excited about recently reaching 1,000 posts. Which seemed to me, to be one of the coolest things when I first started here.

Anyways, Birthday Month is coming up so Enjoy everyone!!

BTW who all is sending their 4yo's to preschool and is anyone doing hs'ing??

Lots of Hugs and Love to you mamas! I'll try to keep up and post more often as time and life allows!


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Hello Mamas....Just checking in...

I bought a fairy book that has some fun activities in it for the b-day party in Sept. I can make some little fairy silhouettes on popsicle sticks and let the kids decorate with glitter and some flower crowns from crepe paper. they are very cute.

Another fun idea was to get little containers with lids on the from a craft store and fill them with some aloe vera gel and add glitter to them. Now the girls have fairy dust and can put in on their bodies. I think that will be a fun little party favor.

I still have to take dd to the ped to get a "I'm healthy note" for her to go to preschool but I can't believe it's only going to be a couple more weeks and my dd will be going to school! It makes me want to cry. I wonder how I will be when I drop her off.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *midwestmeg* 
Heather, when did speech come for your boys?! Slowly, if I remember correctly...?! Just wondering.









Meg you have a good memory! It was David who talked late. He had a few words but didn't really start talking until he was 22 months old. I had him tested at 21 months because I was concerned. They told me that he was almost 4 months behind in expressive language. The testers told me that they thought it was an issue of Big Brother talking for him. I guess David decided to find his own voice at 22 months. He hasn't stopped since.









Chris on the other hand started talking at 9 month old. He had quite the vocabulary by the time he was 15 months old.

It is amazing how different my boys are from each other.

jaidymama - I am homeschooling my boys. Chris will be starting 1st Grade this fall and I will be working on the letter sounds with David. David already knows all his letters and number by sight. He can also read the word "Exit".









David has decided that he wants a Star Wars themed birthday party. Thankfully the YMCA can do that theme. We are having the party at the Y since our house can't hold 12 kids at once. It should be a fun party.

Both boys are looking forward to the new Star Wars moving that came out today. They are going to see it next weekend since they are camping this weekend with their Dad and Papa (FIL). I am enjoying the peace and quiet in the house!


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

There is a new Star Wars movie coming out?

Lord, I am OUT of it.

I used to be fan.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CatskillMtnMama* 
There is a new Star Wars movie coming out?

Lord, I am OUT of it.

I used to be fan.

It is a new animated film called Star Wars - Clone Wars. It has a teenaged girl jedi in it. It is rated PG so I told the boys they could go and see it.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Yo Becca* 

Robin asked me which wall I'm going to climb. I asked her what she meant. she said, "in wall school - which wall are you going to climb? The one with the turtles (a local mural)?"









That's hilarious. Thor asked me if he could help me push the baby out a couple months ago (because I was telling him that I will push the baby out).

BTW, I think it's awesome that you're doing law school.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

It's amazing some of the things kids come up with.

The other day, David informed me that he needed to go outside to pee. I asked him why. He replied "I want to pee like the dogs."







I had a hard time not laughing at him. I gently explained that peeing outside was only allowed when a toilet wasn't handy.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

That's okay, Jaden is now eating her food off her plate like a dog.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janasmama* 
That's okay, Jaden is now eating her food off her plate like a dog.









I'm glad David hasn't tried that one yet. LOL!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hjohnson* 
The other day, David informed me that he needed to go outside to pee.

T is obsessed with peeing outside. Is it a male thing? A territory marking thing?


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janasmama* 
That's okay, Jaden is now eating her food off her plate like a dog.









Lukas is pretty much a fulltime dog! We have food and water dish on the floor. And somehow each morning (and several times a day) he requires me to "drive" to the shelter to buy him. He walks around on all 4's and last night we played fetch...


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
T is obsessed with peeing outside. Is it a male thing? A territory marking thing?









Nope, Robin is an avid outside pee-er. I blame it on a few factors:
1) China, where children are potty trained on the sidewalk, and I wasn't willing to pay for a 2-year-old to use a hole in the ground when the same ground is outside for free.
2) the amount of time we spend in the woods w/ no potty
3) my laziness and unwillingness to take 2 small children to public toilets or carry a toilet everywhere.

I'd just as soon help her pee outside than deal with her and Eli trying to touch every gross thing in store bathrooms. But now she's insisting on peeing outside by *herself* which is very different for girls than boys... She does like to pick what she's going to pee on. Today it was rocks.

Sarah!!! Thanks for the encouragement. You're my grad-school hero!







:

Augs - that is hilarious. Robin talks about me pushing out Eli "like poop" (since she got to witness it - and from the "Welcome with Love" book which has a profile view of the head coming out)

I love Lukas' commitment to the pretend play. And that he's a shelter dog!

Robin's party is this coming Saturday. MIL is coming to town to help me get ready for it (not that it's so much, I'm just losing my mind at the moment). I did buy the favor/activity: I got start and heart wooden "magic wands" from Hobby lobby and items to decorate them with (glue, sparkly confetti, glitter paint). SO the kids can decorate their wand at the party and take it home for their favor.

gotta hit the hay!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

I hate how absolutely violent I feel when I don't get a good night's sleep because I wake up to my son kicking me in my back. Twice. It feels bad to want to put him in his room, lock his door, and go lay down in bed with earplugs in. And today we will go to my mom's house which normally cheers me up because she will play with him but all I can think about is that her house has this odd combination smell of old cigarette smoke and some kind of perfume or fabric softener which always gives me a headache, and that she's always running cold so she won't have the air conditioning on and I will get overheated and end up at home this evening with a migraine.

Plus he's being mean to the cat which is one of the major triggers of evil b**** mama. Sometimes I find myself wishing that she would turn around and scratch him, hard, to get the point across that she doesn't like what he's doing, but she lies there and takes it. I mean, what kind of a mom am I who wants her cat to scratch her kid?!

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh I hate feeling like this and I know it is only going to get worse once little brother is here!

Pardon me while I go crawl under a rock.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

It's not going to get worse when his brother's here. It will be different, but not worse. Yes, two kids sometime means twice the work, twice the struggles, twice the drama. But it also changes the older child, changes your relationship with them, etc. - and not for the worse. Plus, your heart gets a bit bigger, and can put up with all the things that are twice as much as before (including twice the smiles, twice the giggles, twice the love).

Boy, I needed to reflect on that perspective. Don't get me wrong, 2 kids is no joke (feel free to chime in you moms of 3...). But just like you couldn't imagine making room for one and feared it would be too much, but somehow made it work, you do the same thing with #2. I remember being certain that Robin would be my "favorite," that the new baby would never have the same echo as my first-born, and also certain that neither would get the attention they deserve. I couldn't believe everyone who said not to worry and that it would work out...but they were right.

Hang in there, mama. Being tired, hormonal and pregnant will bring out the fierceness, for sure. Breathe deep.

As for hoping the cat will scratch...I tell Clint all the time that we parent by natural selection. For example - if Eli choses to bang his head on concrete, he'll either figure out to stop, or go through life with massive welts. Or, Eli will either learn to stop trying to catch the chicks, or take some serious pecks from Mama Chicken. It's a Darwin moment, IMO. My name is Bennet, and I ain't in it.


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Holy moly, Jen, I am not even close to being pregnant and I echo your sentiments exactly! I've been the evil b**** Mama since I started working, and no matter how many times I explain that when Mama works we have money for nice things, it just DOESN'T. SINK. IN!!!

I have been reading along, but I have been too busy to type. Tonight I just don't care that it's 4am and that I am a week behind in my email.... Almost Four is getting the best of me, and I know that everyone here will understand! You Ladies Rock!!!














:









ETA: LOL, my 500th post....


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Well, in good news:

My mom has quit smoking. After 50+ years.







:







:







: so her house still smells a bit like stale smoke, because it's in the carpet, the walls, the everything, but at least she's not adding to it day after day.

When we drove up, it was impossible to get down my mom's street, because there was a GIANT backhoe in her driveway, digging a 12-foot trench for laying storm sewer pipes. So we parked in the neighbor's driveway, cut through their yard into my mom's and T had entertainment all day while those big machines were working not more than 15 feet in front of the bay window (perfect spot for child to sit).

Around 2:30, I dozed off in my mom's rocker/recliner while T was playing with legos or cooties or something. They ended up going outside and finding some manner of yard work to do (which they can always find). My mom woke me up at 4:30. I felt a bit in a fog but better for having slept.

I figure that it will be worse when little brother arrives because lately T has been SOOO whiny - everything comes out in a whine, really - and he has been really bad at doing anything at all for himself. Just lots of button pushing and a complete inability to do anything by himself. I am tempted to put away 99% of the toys because it's like he has so many things to do that he can't do anything. (Maybe he suffers from the same overstimulation and brain clutter that I do when our house is not clean, which causes me to not be able to do anything because there is too much to do.)

I had a weird night's sleep and woke up with a racing pulse and feeling vaguely sick, but it seems to have remedied itself somehow... and yet, I want to call Jo, tell her that I want her to tell her boss that her wife is sick and that she needs to go home, and crawl back into bed for the rest of the day. Barring that option, I might turn on the olympics for the afternoon and sack out on the couch, hoping that the child doesn't break anything or injure the cat.

There is a woman in one of my DDCs (I straddle Nov and Dec) and she has 6 children and is pregnant with her 7th - and she homeschools - it exhausts me just thinking about it. (Well, and our own chumani - Sarah, are you still out there?)


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Some of you may not remember back this far, to the very, very very beginning of the Sept 04 DDC, but first there was Caroline... and then there was Shannon, Shannon0218. Shannon was so hopefully pregnant after 2 miscarriages, and then miscarried again. She never left our DDC, though, and really lent great support and sunshine to all of us.

She died. In January. And I just caught whiff of it now on MDC via someone else's sig.

She miscarried due to a blood clotting disorder and finally carried a baby to term a couple of years ago; she also had brought her 2nd daughter into the world just a few weeks before she died.

I'm just still overwhelmed with sadness. She dreamed of me giving birth on her bed! And I named her 2nd dog (Bedlam). But what I find saddest is that she was one of ours, if only for a short while, and she leaves 2 little daughters behind, whom she wanted so desperately.

Sigh. Sniff.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
Some of you may not remember back this far, to the very, very very beginning of the Sept 04 DDC, but first there was Caroline... and then there was Shannon, Shannon0218. Shannon was so hopefully pregnant after 2 miscarriages, and then miscarried again. She never left our DDC, though, and really lent great support and sunshine to all of us.

She died. In January. And I just caught whiff of it now on MDC via someone else's sig.

She miscarried due to a blood clotting disorder and finally carried a baby to term a couple of years ago; she also had brought her 2nd daughter into the world just a few weeks before she died.

I'm just still overwhelmed with sadness. She dreamed of me giving birth on her bed! And I named her 2nd dog (Bedlam). But what I find saddest is that she was one of ours, if only for a short while, and she leaves 2 little daughters behind, whom she wanted so desperately.

Sigh. Sniff.

I didn't know her but....







I'm glad she was able to experience her dd's for whatever time it was.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
Some of you may not remember back this far, to the very, very very beginning of the Sept 04 DDC, but first there was Caroline... and then there was Shannon, Shannon0218. Shannon was so hopefully pregnant after 2 miscarriages, and then miscarried again. She never left our DDC, though, and really lent great support and sunshine to all of us.

She died. In January. And I just caught whiff of it now on MDC via someone else's sig.

She miscarried due to a blood clotting disorder and finally carried a baby to term a couple of years ago; she also had brought her 2nd daughter into the world just a few weeks before she died.

I'm just still overwhelmed with sadness. She dreamed of me giving birth on her bed! And I named her 2nd dog (Bedlam). But what I find saddest is that she was one of ours, if only for a short while, and she leaves 2 little daughters behind, whom she wanted so desperately.

Sigh. Sniff.

I am sorry to hear that. She was a ray of sunshine for our group.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

How sad.







Really, there are no words.


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)




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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

It's September 1. My little girl is 4. I hardly believe it.







:

She has a friend who is younger than her, but physically bigger who in in a booster, and she's been asking for one too (I have 2, in boxes in the basement, for when she outgrows her new carseats). I've explained to her that the carseats are the safest, that her body still fits in her carseats (she outgrew her gracos and we replaced them/handed them down to eli), and that she's going to be in the carseats until she outgrows them. So this morning she jumps out of bed (She and I had a "spend the night" party last night in my bed - we watched a movie, made popcorn, played games and painted toenails purple and pink - so fun!) and her first question was: "Mama am I so big now that I'm ready for my booster?" Like she grew overnight.










Speaking of movies, we have "my Neighbor Totoro" from netflix and she and I both love it. She wants to play Satski and Mei all the time now - i'm satski and she's mei. We're going to get the other films by the same director - if we ever get this one returned...


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

One-time MDC Sept 04 baby Oz also loves Totoro.

I can't believe the 4th bdays are happening! We went to Anna Banana's on Saturday and had a great time celebrating Mielle's bday.

happy bday Robin!


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Aw! Happy Birthday Robin







:
She sounds lovely.







:

My little Jaden is starting her first day of preschool tomorrow.








I hope I don't cry when I drop her off...she really is getting so big. I love how they are growing, it's so much fun.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 

She died. In January. And I just caught whiff of it now on MDC via someone else's sig.

Sigh. Sniff.

Jen I am very sorry to hear that!







So sad.







Can I ask what happened?!

So, I had a 'backyard birthday party' for Ceci... it went pretty well, the weather co-operated and everyone came. Whew. What I didn't plan for enough was how all the moms would just want to sit and ignore all the kids and I would run around taking a constant head count.







It was fine, I had my mom to help and I know how it is, but we have a lot of territory for kids to explore... but they were happy with the playset, the flower beds, the kiddie pool and our newest 'sandbox' aka our excavation test hole. Thank goodness everyone went home in one piece.

Jen, congrats on your mom and a nice visit!!







: A little bit of rest always helps...









Augs, have you moved now?!

Becca, Ceci pees outside also. Always. She takes her pants off and goes for it. I've tried to convince her to go to the back of the house... but she prefers the granite in the front yard. Whoa, its a lot of exposure when she pees!!







Carl pees on the rocks and then says 'agate!' and tries to pick up the wet rocks. Awwww.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *midwestmeg* 
Jen I am very sorry to hear that!







So sad.







Can I ask what happened?!

She had a clotting disorder, which is what caused her to miscarry her first 4... it seems that after she had her 2nd - which was risky and dangerous because of the risk of clotting - she suffered a brain aneurysm. At least I think that's the story. Her death was related to her clotting disorder, for sure.

Sigh.

My son is being a little sh** this morning.

And his new, custom-made soft leather indoor shoes for preschool just arrived in the mail and the first thing he said was "I don't like those. They're gross." WHERE DID HE LEARN THIS PRAY TELL?!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Yep, we've moved. I love it here. A small town on an island -- we're just blocks from the beach and the library and everything. It's a big farming community, so that's nice too. Our rental house isn't perfect, but it's OK.

Can't believe I only have 8 weeks or so left in this pregnancy!!!


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Happy Birthday to all the September Babes!!!







:


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Here we go head first into Birthday Season!







:







:

Congratulations to all you mommies (and daddies) as well... I always think the parents have a reason to celebrate too... We've made it to 4! (although I know some of you have older kiddos and have passed this way before).

Wishing you all a happy year with lots of laughter and living!

All the best to you all as you celebrate--
Heidi & Lukas


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## Cuddlemama (Jan 12, 2002)

Hello, friends.

I just had to pop in during this bout of insomnia to announce that my Anna bean turned 4 on September 2nd.

Or, as she put it, "I've had 4 rides around the sun."

She's awesome. Hilarious. Creative. Stubborn. Musically gifted.

We've officially added her to our "homeschool", and she loves to mark herself 'present' every day. She's learning her letters and letter sounds. She can count by ones, fives and tens. She can write her first name, though I still can't convince her not to write AnnA. She's not a fan of that last lower-case a.

I blog randomly at http://www.sparkingtolearn.com if anybody wants to peek at some pictures.

P.S., Jen, I think of Shannon regularly. We were on a different board together, and it was devastating when she passed away so soon after baby Isla was born. I think of Molly and Isla, missing their mother, when I am having one of those days where I wish that my children could just disappear for a bit. It shakes me back to center and gives me better perspective.

~Leigh


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Leigh, always SO GOOD to see you post.









yes, iirc, didn't we swap due dates? Wasn't AnnA (I like that, I mean, then it's the same backwards and forwards) due on the 18th? And has she written any music yet?

Today is T's first school-year day of preschool but it's the same preschool where he's been going all summer, so he's a little confused about why today would be any different. I've told him there may be different kids there this week. We'll see! (Plus the curriculum has changed mightily... the summer was pretty laid-back.)


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Happy Birthday to Anna & Robin & any others I missed! Thor isn't until Sept 14, and I can't figure out what to get him... I was thinking some fire belly toads or a kitten. But I don't know if I can handle a kitten so close to having another baby. I think they would both love having a kitten though!

So here's a question for you all. What would you do if a friend of yours (a pretty good friend) had a child the same age as your current Sept child, but they were, like, out of control? So this friend of mine from here, who I have known for 2-3 years and have hung out with a lot, has a son who has always been a bit... different. He's 3 months older than Thor. He's a genius.... he can read, he has the periodic table memorized, he could recite all the spices in the spice rack when he was 2, etc., but his social skills have always been lacking. He used to bite all the time (and hard) and he has always been a bit rough and violent with other kids. But him and Thor generally were OK together, though Thor did get bit some. But she came to visit today and I just found my head reeling. It was just too much. Her DS was hitting, kicking, talking about killing and other violent things, and him and Thor just sparred most of the time. Then Thor started picking up on the killing thing, which he has never done before, and I was like, OK, this is waaaay too much. But I like this woman... I just don't know what to do. When she left I felt myself not knowing if i wanted to her DS to be around Thor anymore! That's sad, though. I'm not sure how to handle it. Luckily Thor was fairly good about the whole thing and several times I heard him say things like, "NO BITING!" or "NO HITTING!" and then once he said, "If you keep doing that I will NOT play with you!!"

What would you do? She also has a 2 yo who is sweet and who likes Anna a lot.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

wow, the kid sounds autism spectrum.

I'll keep thinking about it and get back to you. I'm rushing off to do an important errand so I'll have lots of car time to think


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Oh, tricky, Augs I often do the midwestern thing and just don't hang out...







: But if she is your good friend, you might just approach her about how you could both/all work together to make a 'plan.' I've done that with my good gf if I notice something her kiddo is doing- 'cause chances are she knows it also and if I can find a way to make it positive it's okay.








It can be risky b/c I would never want to criticize anyone's parenting.... but if your kid is violent or mean we just might not hang out much.









Jen, funny on the shoes and thanks for explaining a little more to me about the clotting disorder. I hate thinking that we are all human and could go at anytime!! I prefer to think that mothers are invincible.









Ceci is going to do the little waldorf program 2 x per week... but I am leaning towards keeping her home with me until she's older.







I'm a wuss, I am not ready to deal with the public school system.

However, that plan will kind of hinge on me actually getting to stay home and ta-da, my husband just announced he hates his job and wants to do something different. I guess that's par for the course, we never like to do the same thing for too long. And with our home renovations, I will be keeping my job for at least another year.







Pout.

Actually, I think that we could still homeschool with the way we are a three parent household. And I think Greg could possibly be the best teacher of all. If I get something going, when I go back to work full time, he can just take over.

I have not officially TTC, but my body has! Whoa, nelly.

SO, is everyone totally caught up in politics?!!! I AM--- and although I am loyal to my party, I think both presidential candidates and their running mates are intelligent people.







I find I have to be careful, though, because I get annoyed with people who are narrow minded, single minded, unwilling to see that there are two sides to each coin. KWIM?! We all have to live together.... and I can see other points of view, even if I disagree.


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

We have had friends w/challenging children... although not necessarily on the level you described. It's hard to know what goes on in other families in the way of parenting and nurturing or boundary setting or developmental phases, or media they are exposed to etc. Although, it does seem that there might be something there to the autism suggestion.

Have you talked to your friend about your concerns? I think, as much as it sucks, it makes sense to discuss your concerns with your friend... like, hey I've noticed... blah blah blah. In a tough conversation, I don't script it out, but I do decide what I want to say first... Then I write up several points I want to make to add to the conversation as it fits in and as it's needed.

Personally, my ds was the "victim" of all the aggressive boys in our play group up until last year when some of the more aggressive boys moved away and others started preschool on different days. Anyways, my concern was that I was presenting these kids as his friends... Yet his "friends" were being hurtful. As much as I wanted time to visit with the other moms, I started shadowing their play and started interjecting myself so I could steer the play to a more positive course or settle disputes. This bordered on being a so-called helicopter parent because I was hovering... yet I thought for a few hours once a week it was worth it.

For us the play group was a regular part of our life, and where my ds was getting a lot of his socialization from... And the hitting/biting/hurting was so frequent that it became more than just a passing phase. For me, it was important to teach my ds that it was not ok for kids to be mean to him or to each other. Without erasing responsibility we talked about the differences between the children/families--some boys were no longer napping so they were totally wiped out; other boys lacked the verbal skills to get what they wanted; while others had seen video games or movies with more mature subject matter that the then 2&3 yo's didn't understand yet wanted to imitate. Before each play group we would talk about who was going to be there, and what L needed to do if a problem came up/what to do if he needed help. And I would remain observant and nearby to intervene as needed.

Ok, that might be a bit too long... really, if you think it's something that could be improved with more parenting involvement then try doing something differently... Set the play date at a time when the kids are well rested, stop for snacks/water, don't let it drag on... if the kids play well for an hour and fall apart the 2nd hour then consider ending it before trouble starts.

If you are leaning more toward the autism side of things... then perhaps set up a one on one time with the mom--no kids. And let your message come from your heart. If they are close friends then it makes sense that you bring it up. Yet, it might still be difficult and your friend might not like that you do bring it up... although she might be relieved to talk to someone about her own fears.

Again, sorry this is so long. I'm pretty passionate about it after all the *rap that L went through. No matter how you go about it, I think it's important to keep them safe... A play date where kids are getting hurt is no fun. So if you don't want to back out, then hopefully there are ways to work with the situation for it to go better. If not, take some time off from it.


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Can you tell I'm unemployed again? I can't believe I wrote that novel above








I guess the time flies by... dh took L somewhere before he heads out to work tonight... So my mind can just soak up the quiet time and my fingers seem to keep going on and on and on and on..

We're kinda sorta homeschooling. Although I haven't gotten into it to much yet, I feel like I've got a few things to clear off my plate before we can focus on it. And I have him signed up for a few classes that start in a couple weeks, yet the preschools have all started by now... so that's where most of his friends are. And since I'm no longer nannying, my ds doesn't get that regular playtime either. So we're trying to avoid the dulldrums by ???? ok well we haven't been able to avoid them. My ds is a human sponge that can't soak up enough playtime So I'm super excited about those darn classes starting in a couple weeks... One is an art class that he says he doesn't want to go to














But I signed him up anyways. The other is a Kindermusik class. I think they're a little cheesy--the Kmusik, but I like the play with musical component. Other than that I have a whole list of tricks I keep up my sleeve for a rainy or cranky day. Today I introduced L to the stapler! that earned me some time to finish cleaning my dh's home office.

As for the politics, it is interesting to see how it all works, and I hope it plays out how I believe would be best. The funny thing is that L seems super interested in one candidate and keeps asking lots of questions about it. Which marks the entrance into existential thinking for my ds... He has begun to ask so many questions, and it seems like he's really stewing up some good ones. He'll ask questions about things that happened last week... things he did or saw or experienced or was told. Yesterday he even asked why if the world is round, why does it look flat. Go figure, I told him people a long time ago wondered the same thing.

Ok, I think I'm going to use the rest of my free time to vacuum. Hmmm I guess since I have more time lately I may be frequenting you ladies again. See you 'round.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Yes, totally caughtup in politics at the moment here too (when i have the time). My first thought when I heard about Palen was "I wonder what Ashley and Meg think about her?" haha - You're my only alaskan friend, even though neither of you are technically in alaska at the moment...

Ashley - I can't believe you only have 8 weeks left! Have you found a new provider in WA? I'm *so* glad the move went well and you are happily settling.

Jen - don't you know the kids have a plot to hate everything we actually put thought and concern into acquiring for them? It's totally a plot, and merely a foreshadowing of adolescence.

Augs - In addition to autism spectrum, I would also consider a sensory integration issue (in which the violence may be seem to be an out-of-proportion reaction to one thing, when really it's a response to something else causing a sensory overload; or he could be on the other end of the sensory spectrum and not "feel" how rough he is). Or it could be a behavior "disorder." If he's old enough for your public school's Pre-K, he may qualify to see one of their OTs who could begin a diagnosis if it's one of those problems and then pursue therapies. If he's not that old, your friend's insurance may cover an OT. I wouldn't say to a parent, "I think your kid has X," but I would say, "I'm seeing x, y, and z" and recommend that they may find an OT very helpful. B/c if he's acting that way at your house, I'm sure there are many challenges at home, and recommending an OT in a way that offers her help maybe better taken than attempting a diagnosis.

Hope Jaden's first day went well, Janasmama! Robin has a huge crush on her new teacher at the co-op. I'm definitely second banana these days...

Heidi - are you planning to find a new family to sit/nanny for? I remember your concerns about the rough playgroup, and I'm glad you found a way to protect your lil fella. There is benefit to helping them learn to set limits and deal with rougher kids, if you can prevent them from being victimized.

I gotta run - work tomorrow. My class this year is 4 of my kids from last year, and 4 new kids, all 3 year-olds. These first few weeks are going to be a challenge, helping them blend together. I have 2 thumb suckers, one who also sucks her hair, and the transition to being asked to keep things out of their mouths is going to be hard for them. I feel like a meanie.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Interesting, Jen, the autism idea. I hadn't thought of that, but it could definitely be that. He seriously knows things that I don't know about science and the way things work. Like I said, he has the periodic table of the elements MEMORIZED. He can read words like "anatomy" and "physiology." It's crazy. The kid is the age that our Sept kids are, basically. His mom is homeschooling and is very, very anti-school and anti-"class" of any kind. She is very proud of his strange, unique knowledge and often has him repeat things, kind of like to show off how much he knows. I actually kind of feel bad for him because it's like, yeah, maybe you can memorize things great, but will you have any friends? It's sort of sad, really. My reaction I think is going to be to back away. Living on Whidbey will make it easier because it is a big trek to go see her and I think we'll just naturally not see that much of each other. I have also done a LOT of talking to Thor about it, so that he's prepared when/if we do see them. And we will tomorrow, but it will be in a big group, and not just one-one which I think will be better.

Becca -- The ongoing Alaska chat actually got locked because of the heated discussion that Palin (or "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named") caused, so I don't dare go into what I or my family thinks about her.







But I did see a photo of her wearing her new baby in a sling while signing a bill. I was surprised by that. Oh, and good luck tomorrow!!









I know, 8 weeks left, sometimes I freak out and think, woah, what if this baby was born at 36 weeks?? That's only 4 weeks away!! I do have a midwife here and the plan is to birth at her house, which is very close to several major hospitals. If I birthed at home, I'd be like almost an hour away from a small, crappy hospital. Not enough peace of mind for a vba2c, even though this means I'll have to navigate the ferry while in labor, and it doesn't run in the middle of the night. Hmmm, could be interesting!!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Becca, I have a friend in Alaska, and you can see exactly what she thinks if you follow her link off of my blog (Jeff and Robin, in the sidebar).


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Jaden loves preschool. She's only going for 3 hours a day / 2 days a week and she gets really sad when I go and pick her up. It's really nice having the quiet time in the morning. It makes me remember how easy one child is vs. two.

I only have 4 more weeks to go until I have 3 children...what am I going to do!?


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

In case you were wondering....

a newly-turned 4 year old may NOT be old enough to watch Charlotte's Web.








:







: Oh, the tears! We're doing "movie night" on fridays when we can, and doing it via netflix, so we take what comes from our queue. The smokehouse and threat of baconating Wilbur got her chin quivering, and then when Charlotte died, her little heart broke. It was so sad. Of course, she didn't cry when my grandmother died in March, and she seems to "get" death - but Charlotte did her in. Boo, mama, boo!


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janasmama* 
I only have 4 more weeks to go until I have 3 children...what am I going to do!?









Yeah, I've been having that thought lately! I have about 6-8 weeks to go until I have 3, but that still seems pretty close.

Although lately I have been feeling like it's much closer than that. I all of a sudden feel big, umcomfortable, cervical changes, etc. But maybe that's just because it's the 3rd time around.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

i realized today that I must have hit the third trimester. I suddenly feel very, very done with being pregnant... and I have 12 weeks to go.

Doesn't help that I've been having horribly strange dreams about this baby... like I was in labor and had an ultrasound in labor and the baby had hydrocephaly and its brain was split in two in back, I think the plan was to tie it together after birth?! It was CREEPY and it took me at least half a day to recover from the dream.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

((((((jen))))))))
That's pretty good if you got over it in half a day.
Yah, I was pretty impatient with my pregnancies, too.
I liked the excitement of a new person coming but the physical part, the largeness, the cramps, the sweatiness.... Yuck.

And to you mommies who are moving from two to three... I worship and adore you. I seriously would be scared out of my mind to do what you are doing!!

I think adding the two newfoundland dogs was like adding half a child to our lives.... and that was chaotic enough. Is chaotic.

Anyway, jen et al. be well...

Liz


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CatskillMtnMama* 
That's pretty good if you got over it in half a day.

Well, my wife took the child and went out for half the day, so I was left with quiet time with kitty and cup of tea to process it...

I keep having dreams about a baby girl, though, and on the ultrasound, it was awfully obvious that this kid is a boy. So I am wondering if this is a future kid? Or if we're getting signals crossed somehow? Or if I'm really carrying twins (really, really don't think so)? Or if this was a baby that was a very early miscarriage on one of the first 3 tries before I conceived the one I'm carrying right now, and her angel just hasn't left us yet?

eta: follow-up ultrasound this morning confirmed: most definitely a boy, no hydrocephaly, heart is perfect, all is well, and he's head down, back to my left. Good boy! Now what all the dreams about... I have no clue.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AugustineM* 







Yeah, I've been having that thought lately! I have about 6-8 weeks to go until I have 3, but that still seems pretty close.

Although lately I have been feeling like it's much closer than that. I all of a sudden feel big, umcomfortable, cervical changes, etc. But maybe that's just because it's the 3rd time around.

I have 3.5 weeks left and you can poke me with a fork b/c I'm done! I've finally hit the point where I'm tired of being pregnant.

I'm going from 2 to 3 kiddos with this one. I'm a little concerned about how I'll handle it but I've heard the transition is way easier than from 1 to 2.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

I've heard that too, that going from 2 to 3 is easier, but I'm not sure how that can be!







I just keep thinking of logistical things, like how do we all nap together? I'll have to sit up and hold the baby, while Thor and Anna sleep by me. Unless Thor is OK with sleeping by the baby while I nurse sidelying. He's so cuddly, though! I had a friend who had four kids and she lined them all up in bed for naps together... I thought that was such a cute image, though I can't imagine my kids going to sleep like that.

Oh, and definitely no more than 3 kids here. I have realized that 3 is my max and I am happy to be having 3, only 3 and no more than 3.









Jen, the dreams could be a future child! Could also just be your brains doing wacky things. Like the other day I dreamed that I gave birth and the baby was all furry, like a cat.







I feel like I totally knew that I was meant to have 3 kids, though. It's weird, but I just knew it, and I don't really know how to explain it.

Becca -- I remember totally being freaked out by Charlotte's Web, to the point of where I never wanted to see it again!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Would Thor sleep with Anna? T is very much looking forward to little brother being old enough to cuddle in bed. Of course, I can't believe that Thor still TAKES NAPS. Do you feel that green wave moving westward toward you? That's me, green with envy. T stopped napping in March, exactly when I needed the extra rest because I was freshly pregnant.


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

Happy Belated Birthdays to Anna, Oz, Mielle, Robin, and Cecilia and anyone else I have failed to mention. It is hard to believe that David will be 4 years old in two days. He was supposed to be born on the 8th but Hurricane Jeanne caused everyone to go into labor except for me so my induction got bumped to the 10th. Now if he would just quit with the whining!

Homeschool co-op starts for us tomorrow. I can't wait! David is old enough to participate in the classes now.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
\So I am wondering if this is a future kid?

eta: follow-up ultrasound this morning confirmed: most definitely a boy

Now what all the dreams about... I have no clue.

OK Jen. Here's my theory and you tell me (twenty years from now) if it's right. This is based on our family folklore and nothing else whatsoever. But why not muddy the waters even more!?!

My mom said that early in each pregnancy she got a sense of the gender of all five of her children. It was very clear and consistant thru the pregnancy. And, she was correct. With one exception. She thought that my brother was a girl.

Fast-forward several decades: my brother, when he was thirty-five years old, realizes that he is NOT straight, is indeed gay, and comes out. He's the only one of her kids who is gay.

Later, when I'm pregnant with Lulu, and we're talking about dreams, all this comes up. My mom theorizes that the reason the gender dream was misleading in my brother's case was because of my brother's sexual orientation.

It seemed plausible to me though hard to say why. If part of who we are is who we love... perhaps that was what my mom was picking up on, and then misinteprated it as gender ... in the dream. Pretty trippy!

Background: My mom herself is gay, too.

OK... so! Perhaps that's the significance of the dreams? Lil peanut's going to be part of The Family?







Mazel Tov!

Liz


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Well, that will cheer Jo to no end.

Doesn't explain the hydrocephaly which thankfully was very apparently NOT PRESENT.

I had a different dream once too in which Jo and I met our baby girl a day and a half after she had been born, and we named her Rose... I am wondering if we are going to adopt a third?! We've always said 2 is enough but perhaps that's biologically speaking...

I don't know. I'll stay open to the angels speaking through dreams but frankly I'm darn pleased that technology proved my dream inaccurate today.

In Sept 04 land, does anyone have a child they get in a good groove with during the day and then their partner comes home and partner and child are combative all night? T and I can have a great day, and then Jo comes home and within about 20 minutes she's insisting, he's resisting, and he ends up being forcibly carried to his room where he has to sit for 3 minutes until that







timer beeps and I am tired of our evenings being filled with beeping timers and crying child, especially when we have a decent enough day with each other at home. I don't know what to blame it on - rigidity? The stupid laptop that she's always got in front of her? Just different parenting styles? When he's alone with one of us at a time, he's always better... when we're both home, it's all tempers and punishment.

Friend of mine once said that for friends of hers, baby #2 was the best thing for kid #1 because the expectations dropped radically and kid #1 could just be herself. Lord I hope that happens with us, too...


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Jen, have you heard of the ring test? I know there are several versions out there... However, a friend of mine showed me one years ago that seemed pretty accurate when she tested it on her 5 aunts and grandmother. It tested accurate for # of children and gender in the corresponding order. Unfortunately for mine it showed that I would have 6 children. Well I doubt that's going to happen. The whole concept though has me thinking about what it means. If you're wondering... here's the way I've done the ring test... Standing up, hold a ring (or metal object... like a paperclip) and put it on a string (like sewing thread... if you get a durable or strong string/rope it makes it harder for the ring to swing around). Then dangle the ring so it's directly in front of your uterus... about 3-6 inches from your body... it can be more to one side or another... But you'll know when you find the spot because the ring will move itself around in a circle. So first it will do the circle thing (the in between/deciding part), then it will show the gender of your first child (front to back... away from you and toward you... is considered boy...) then when it is ready it will start swinging in a circle... then to any other children in the order of circle then gender then circle then gender.... When it is DONE it will actually STOP swinging. Think of it what you will it's my only party trick, and it's neat to watch... especially since mine goes on for 6 kids.

On another note, after babysitting a 4 yo last year I have seen the challenge of picking movies. On one hand they are getting older, yet they are more emotional at this age goes along with their greater knowledge of the world. Last spring I bought a used copy of the movie Spirit, about a horse... Oh wait it's about the west being settled by soldiers and the fighting with natives, and the horse taken from his family... Yep, a BIG mistake on my part. So I'm waiting to introduce movies with those types of conflicts or scenarios until L is perhaps 5.


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Someone had asked if I would be babysitting any other kids... and really at this point I'm taking the time to catch up around the house, help my husband get his business organized and growing. Plus I've got a little gig buying computer parts for my brother's company. And I'm going to retry selling children's books again this year. So even though we're tight for money, I think we're going ride this out for a little while and see how it goes. Plus it's nice to have my time all for ourselves again... somewhat.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
In Sept 04 land, does anyone have a child they get in a good groove with during the day and then their partner comes home and partner and child are combative all night? T and I can have a great day, and then Jo comes home and within about 20 minutes she's insisting, he's resisting, and he ends up being forcibly carried to his room.

We have the same dynamic. thoughts...
1- Anytime after four in the day is a crankier time. Fatigue sets in and behavior declines. Both for the kids and the parents. More tears.

2- Is T mirroring tensions between you and Jo? Are you resentful of Jo or vice versa for parenting style? Is T picking up on this resentment and channeling it?

my dh is very dissociated with the kids at times and I resent it (i have to be ON all the time then). tension results... kids pick up on it and cry.

3- are there unresolved tensions in your marriage? that gets picked up to and channeled by the kids. If night time is your family time all three together ... perhaps that's what's happening w/T.

Anyway, I say.... well.... I tend to not be parenting the kids simultaneously w/my husband if I can help it. It's either him or me. Yes, we do special family things together, but as for routine evening stuff.... it's either him or me. Or I will take one child and he'll take the other. That way my resentments over parenting styles and other issues do not get picked up and magnified by the already exhausted kids.

It's not optimal, I agree. But it's realistic.

Then you can have awesome special all-together family time on the weekends, when every one is rested.

Liz


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Liz, you probably hit the nail on the head there. I am so sick and tired of working all day to have a fairly happy household (not to say that we don't have our own altercations during the day, but for the most part, we get along) and that when Jo comes home, within a maximum of a half an hour, T has not moved fast enough, jumped high enough, or come quick enough and it escalates into a fight. Or carried her shoes to the back door or run upstairs to get something for her because she doesn't want to go up there herself. (As a kid who had to fetch and carry all the time for her mother, I hate the idea of children as runners. It's a personal thing.)

I feel like I can't tell her "hey, how you're parenting doesn't work" because she already feels like she's at less of an advantage because I'm the one who has spent years working with thousands of kids. And she is not open to correction or even gentle suggestions from me - they are interpreted as nagging. She considers me to be to soft and lax on him and tells me I give in to him too much. What she interprets as "giving in" I call "picking my battles". Every other stay-at-home mom I know says that battle-picking is the key to staying sane when you are home all day with a child.

The big open question yesterday that was bugging me was "when are you going to do the things you've promised you would do?" - she promised on Saturday she'd clean the cat box, and now it's Tuesday. (I'm going to go do it right after I finish here. It's not fair to the cats.) She told me twice on Sunday when I asked her to bring laundry down to or up from the basement that she would, and she didn't. She was going to get the stitch ripper and pull all of the goofy unnecessary patches off of T's neckerchiefs, and she didn't. All she seems to have time for in the evenings is obsessively checking her downloads of BBC programs - and then watching them after T has gone to bed. I like watching one of them with her, since that's about all we get for together time. I go to bed by 10 and she stays up til usually midnight because she hates the fact that she doesn't get any time in the house without the kid around. Earlier in my pregnancy I would stay up later just to hang out with her but I can't do it anymore, I'm too tired.

I guess I just need to talk with her, but I always get the defensive wall when I try.

This morning my son said nothing nice to me. Sound familiar? :

T: (naked, carrying wet diaper) "Where's my garbage can?"
J: "Downstairs. I emptied it last night."
T: (sticks out tongue) "bleah."
J: "Can I fold that up for you before you throw it out?" (Since he's about to just plunk the wet diaper into our garbage)
T: "NO! I'm getting dressed. My pajamas were wet."
J: "That's helpful that you're getting yourself dressed."
(a few minutes later, whining and struggling noises as he can't find the arm hole of his t-shirt. I go into his room to find him putting on a t-shirt and about to put on shorts. The current temp here is about 45 degrees.)
J: "Honey, I know you like shorts, but it's getting to be fall now, and you need long pants."
T: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
(I can't give in on this one. His class goes out to play around 9:30 and it won't have warmed up past 60 by then - or maybe even past 50 - who knows? So he tries for about 3 minutes of whining and screaming to convince me that he's wearing shorts.)
J: "Which pants would you like? Jeans? Or flannel pants? Or some other soft pants?"
T: "I'M WEARING SHORTS!"
J: "I know you want to, but it's too cold out. Now which pants did you want?"
T: (whining - very important - it's either whining or yelling) soft pants soft pants SOFT PAAAAAAAAAANTS!"

So he puts on a pair of his flannel pants - we need about 5 pair of these pants, I'm sayin'! - then we have the same fight over socks (he wants to just go barefoot and wear sandals) and then another over a long-sleeved shirt.

When he finally picked out a pair of socks for himself because he got the choice of "you pick or I pick and don't throw the socks all over because then you'll lose your chance to pick", I went downstairs and Jo managed to cajole him into a shirt. I couldn't take it anymore.

Either he slept poorly, or he is getting sick, or he is holding it together so hard at school that he is releasing this way at home.

I am sorry to fill your ears full of my constant complaining. I had a lousy night's sleep too despite having the whole bed to myself (Jo folded the futon down and slept in T's room) because the cat woke me around 4 to tell me that there was no food in the bowl. I'm going to go take a nap now. Yes, at 9:15 AM.


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Oh Jen, I'm sorry, I hope things get better soon.







You and Jo just need a big blow out and then a cry/hug/love session followed by a plan to make things better. If it makes you feel better, Cecilia is going through the same trauma in changing clothes now that it's cooler.









Liz, I want to see pictures of your puppies. I love Newfies- I can't imagine 2 of them!!! How big is your spread?!


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## hjohnson (Mar 2, 2004)

We have lots of drama over here over clothes. David is constantly whining and complaining about clothes.

Any of you dealing with sleep issues? David all of the sudden has a fear of snakes. He hasn't been sleeping well at night. He tells us that he has scary dreams. Last night around midnight he climbed into bed with us but was quite adamant about not going back to his own bed. Since he has a full sized bed on the bottom bunk, I might start sleeping with him until these fears subside.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Clothes







, OMG, you should see Thor go through Anna's entire wardrobe and try on every dress she has. He actually has "fashion shows" where he comes down and shows us each dress while modeling it very attractively. Tony calls him zoolander sometimes. No, but seriously, the kid loves dresses, sparkly things, flowery things, anything girlish! The other day though he put on one of anna's nice dresses and promptly ripped it because of course it's too small. Then he also ripped a pair of her pajamas, so I've started trying to limit the anna clothes wearing, just so he doesn't destroy her wardrobe!

Jen, believe me, I count my blessings every day that Thor still naps. If he doesn't nap, he falls asleep on the couch about 5pm. So him, Anna and I nap together everyday at about noon. I usually only sleep for like 30-40 min, but they sleep for a good 2 hours! Oh, and about the Jo/T combativeness -- does she give him some good floor play time not long after she gets home? He might be acting out because he wants her attention. You mentioned the laptop -- I have to be careful of that because it's so easy just to veg out in front of it while the kids do whatever, or watch a movie, and it quickly becomes apparent that they want to be read to, or played with, etc.

OK, so is anyone else having a hard time envisioning their kid going to preschool?? I am seriously sort of freaking out about it. I was going to do a coop with Thor but decided against it because of the time involved. With the baby and Anna it just seemed like too much. So now I'm looking at a drop off one two days a week. I've heard nothing but rave reviews of it, and we went and looked at it today, and it seemed fine, great teachers, they encourage transitioning the child to the school, etc., only about 12 kids. But still, I couldn't shake this feeling like I didn't want to let him go! Like I was worried he'd be lonely, that it would be difficult for him... I guess I will still try it and go with it, as long as he seems OK, but I don't know, I have this lingering sort of "bad" feeling. Maybe that's why I have always felt drawn towards homeschooling.







I don't know what to do!


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AugustineM* 
OK, so is anyone else having a hard time envisioning their kid going to preschool?? I am seriously sort of freaking out about it. I was going to do a coop with Thor but decided against it because of the time involved. With the baby and Anna it just seemed like too much. So now I'm looking at a drop off one two days a week. I've heard nothing but rave reviews of it, and we went and looked at it today, and it seemed fine, great teachers, they encourage transitioning the child to the school, etc., only about 12 kids. But still, I couldn't shake this feeling like I didn't want to let him go! Like I was worried he'd be lonely, that it would be difficult for him... I guess I will still try it and go with it, as long as he seems OK, but I don't know, I have this lingering sort of "bad" feeling. Maybe that's why I have always felt drawn towards homeschooling.







I don't know what to do!

I never wanted my DC to go to preschool...but Jaden is LOVING it. She doesn't even want me to pick me her up. I think it really depends on the kid...she always wants to do something everyday and asks 'where are we going today?'

I was worried about things like being separated from her, her being exposed to more germs when we are about to have a new baby, etc. but I just can't obsess over those things. She needs to have fun.

If your LO is social I think it's a good thing.


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Jen -- I too agree that some of the T / Jo dynamic might go away if Jo could spend 15 or 20 min just with T when she gets home. I know Andrew will totally act out if he's not getting any Dave time after work, and we had to have the "what is appropriate for a 4 yr old?"talk, too.

Augs -- I was really nervous about sending Andrew to playschool because he's always been so seperation sensitive, but he started yesterday and he really loved it. I think its a hard time right now, because our kids are becoming more outward focused -- more interested in exploring the world and being on their own / with other kids / with other adults than with us. I felt guilty about dropping him off, but he had fun, and I enjoyed the time with just Aaron. Aaron actually coloured, instead of just throwing markers everywhere, becuase I could supervise him a bit more. I think its one of those things where you have to gauge it by what they're ready for, not by what you're ready for.









Andrew had his fourth birthday this weekend. We had three families over and played a few games, had a treasure hunt, and otherwise just let them play in the yard, then had cake and presents. It was nice and low key. I always feel guilty inviting people to birthdays. I don't know why, becuase I love going to them, but I feel bad inviting people to come to a kids party and buy my kids presents, you know?

Andrew and Aaron are getting really cuddly lately. Its super cute. They pull one of the cushions off the couch, grab the blanket out of Andrew's room and snuggle under the blanket, or lie on opposite ends of the couch, with pillows under their heads and one blanket between them. They are so sweet together when they are playing nicely, and so horrible to each other when they are fighting or not getting along.

Ah, the seasonal clothing battle. I'm really bad. I just say "Okay, you can wear shorts and short sleeves, but don't complain if you're cold. I'll pack baby legs and a sweater for you if you need them." Usually in ten min. or so he'll ask for his baby legs or sweater and next time he'll listen. Or he'll just be cold. Terrible, I know, but I've just decided that I"m not tolerating arguing or whining anymore.

Happy birthday to all the four year olds! Its so hard to believe our babies are little kids now.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

I finally went and got some stuff for Jaden's b-day party. I decided to do it at the park since it will be the week before my due date and I don't want a bunch of kids in the house while I'm trying to keep it half-way clean and all of us healthy.

I bought supplies to make ribbon wands for the girls and I bought cool paper for folding paper airplanes for the boys. I was trying to stay cheap since we so many other expenditures this month....I thought they were good ideas. I wanted to do little containers of body glitter made from aloe vera gel but the containers at Michaels were $20 for 30 which was way too much and too many. I'm thinking about reusing some of the little mini containers of play-doh that we have for the glitter though...what do you think? tacky?

I also got a pack of 50 cards at Michaels that are super cute and were only $10 so I'm going to use those for invites and print the info to glue into the inside of the card.

Other than all that...Jaden is loving preschool. I practically have to drag her out of there. I'm glad that bedtime is getting earlier now since it's getting dark earlier. I'm trying to get Jaden into bed by 7:30 otherwise we get start on meltdown and it ends the night on a not-so-sweet note.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

boys like ribbon wands too


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JenInMpls* 
boys like ribbon wands too

















not these boys. They are more like the







: type.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

oh, well, then, I guess they can be glorified swords? Feast of St. Michael *is* just around the corner...


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Isn't everything long and pointy a glorified sword or spear? It sure is around here.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Thor looooooooves ribbon wands! He saw some today at the music class we were at and I practically had to drag him away.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

So of course, 1 day before his birthday, T manages to hurt his knee, somehow, and is limping, and today, instead of spending a leisurely afternoon at Oma's house helping her with yard work, we are going to the doctor to see why he's limping.

Remember how Charlie Brown shakes his head in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" and says "I can't stand it... I just can't stand it!" - ? Yeah that's me right now.


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

I feel the same way, Jen! I listened to Elizabeth scream and cry for two hours last night (she was hoarse when she finally stopped) because of what basically started because my Beau didn't continue to give her a piggy back ride to where she was going to eat her dinner (the first hour) and the second hour because I wouldn't make my Beau leave on account of his "silliness...."

She's also taken to blaming her messes on a monster that she scares away -- but never in time to prevent that mess. I am seriously losing my mind. At least I have an out of the home job now so I get a little break.







:

I think it was on here, but do you remember the name of that wooden bicycle like thing with no pedals? E is 45 pounds and about 42-44 inches tall. Would this be okay for her? She really wants a big bike, and I think this could be perfect for her. Also, I need a source for helmets not made in China, she wants one of these as well.

I hope the cusp of four is treating you well!!!


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

T has one of these, it's called either a runbike, a balance bike or a like-a-bike (like-a-bike is a brand name). He prefers his trike because it has pedals, unfortunately, but I know a lot of kids like them.

Highly recommended that you get one made out of aluminum, they are much easier to handle because they are not nearly as heavy as the wood ones. Kettler makes one, ours is made by Ferbedo, we got it on eBay... they are more expensive but they will last longer.


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Thanks, Jen!


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Isn't it also called a Skuut bike?! 'Wooden kick bike.'


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Jen, both Thor and Anna were sick on his birthday (the 14th). Not terribly sick, but Anna was feverish/runny nose and both them were really tired.

He had his first day of transition at preschool yesterday and totally loved it. I switched to a different one and it made SUCH a difference. I feel great about this one, whereas I felt pretty apprehensive about the other two I looked at.


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

Ug, is it possible that Andrew's getting molars? He's been miserable and drippy all week, and he's started sucking on his hands, and for the last two or three days he's been feverish and grumpy and waking at night and today he just wanted to lie around and sleep. It sounds like he's sick, I know, but I can't figure out what it is thats bothering him, and he couldn't either. And then at supper tonight he said, "My mouth got sore when I bit into this big carrot. It hurt." and then a little later, when we thought he was asleep and he was actually awake he said, "I'm growing new teeth in my mouth." So of course I tried to get him to take some medicine so he could actually get to sleep, but I had already given him the last of the stuff he liked, and the "chewable tablets"tylenol and motrin are sooo stupid and gross that he won't take them (what is with having to give a 4 yr old 3 giant tablets of tylenol? Is it so no one can overdose by eating the whole bottle? I don't see how that would happen becuase it is so impossible to get Andrew to take one, never mind three! Anyway, I finally crushed some up in juice and gave it to him and he drank it and is now sleeping. But I"m sure I"ll be running in and out of rooms again all night tonight and getting no sleep.

And Aaron is still awake, because I was so tired last night that I accidentally nursed him in my sleep in the middle of the night, and now he's awake and insisting that he should get nursed since he woke up at 9:15 (after falling asleep at 8:30 after 2 hours of coaxing) and I'm refusing and its now almost eleven!

And all I wanted to do tonight was get to excersise and do some sewing . .. so much for that.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Jilly - are there more molars after the 2 year set?

Hi from underneath my giant pile of homework, housework, unfolded laundry, and work obligations!


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

don't they get a third one? Don't I have three molars? Or do they only get a third one with their second set of teeth? Or am I completely daft (always a possibility).

It was an ear infection, anyway. One day of polysporin drops (I know, I know, but better than a full course of antibiotics) and he's fine.

Well, I was sort of holding my breath waiting for it, and today was the day. First over-stimulation meltdown at playschool. Musical chairs. yes, thats right, musical chairs sent my son over the top. I guess it is pretty overwhelming -- music, which is always a big one for him, plus figuring out when to sit and when to stand, plus kids really close and running around (did I mention there are 24 kids in his class?) plus all the noise of the kids . . . I felt kind of silly when the teacher mentioned it to me and I just nodded my head and said, "Yeah. Music games are like that for him".

I'm going to get the Out of Sync child from the library this week, as it is looking more and more likely that he has Sensory Integration Difficulties, and then I might be contacting public health to make an appointment with an OT.

I just feel so dumb, because I feel like such an over-anxious, over-protective parent. Which I'm totally not, my kid just needs what I give him to keep him sane. But when I start going on about allergies and now also the possiblity of other labelly things I start to feel like I'm weird. Anyway, I should just get over that and get him the help he needs.

In other news, Aaron is speaking in sentences now. His best one was yesterday afternoon "Aaron go garage with daddy play HAMMER!"


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jilly* 
don't they get a third one? Don't I have three molars? Or do they only get a third one with their second set of teeth? Or am I completely daft (always a possibility).

You're not daft. All those teeth come with the 2nd, permanent set. Glad the issue was resolved. And man, if I were a preschool teacher, I'd never play musical chairs. What a recipe for disaster with very little children. Too much adrenaline, competition and someone always being left out! I would get overstimulated too.


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## MommyofPunkiePie (Mar 24, 2005)

Elizabeth was sick for her birthday on Wednesday, too. She has super swollen tonsils and a uvula that looks like it is attached to one side. She didn' have a fever till last night, but it was low and is gone. We're still going to Urgent Care tonight. She's actually pretty excited to go to see a doctor! Hopefully the panel for the doctor I want will have an opening on the first of October and we can get in there!

I had her party on Sunday, just a little family get together. Mexican fiesta minus the pinata (don't know why I didn't think of it!). No real children around here for her, and she really needs some stimulation from peers.








: to All!


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Hey, it's not summer anymore! We need a new thread!

Bummer that some kids are/were sick. I'm really hoping mine stay healthy since we will have a newborn in the house very soon.

We are having a party on Saturday for Jaden. She's super excited to get a princess cake!







:

Let's just hope I don't have the baby between now and then.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

hey, it's still summer here. *pant pant* *hot* *sweat* I'm waiting for it to really be fall before I start a new thread.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

Brrrrr.... it's been chilly here at night. We've had fires in the morning to warm up the house and I've been scurrying around in the woods with the dogs to collect kindling, lots of it, for the winter. Cuz we can't afford to buy fuel! We are going to rely on about four cords of wood to keep the house livable. And gone is the day of the seventy degree thermostat setting like when Lulu was little.

Liz


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

We've had nice 80+ days but the nights and mornings are chilly. It's starting to feel like fall.

I need this baby to come soon because all I have to wear is shorts and tank tops.







:


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## midwestmeg (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *janasmama* 

I need this baby to come soon because all I have to wear is shorts and tank tops.







:

Haha, I know that feeling....









Jilly, big hugs for you and Andrew. Ceci loves the Waldorf program is is in but then melts down for at least an hour in the afternoon... ack. I told her we had to work on ways to cope, I could not deal with her screaming for an hour+ just b/c she was tired/stressed/overstimulated. Carl hates it when she cries.

OMG, I can't believe Aaron can speak in sentences!! Carl still has four sounds, not even words. He is *trying* to communicate, but it all sounds the same. Like 'gah.' I dunno, do boys talk later, as a general rule?! I am kind of surprised that Carl makes no progress. He's a cute little stinker, though.









So, I fished my SIL's cloth diapers out of her donations to the rummage sale and made about $50 on them!! They sold quickly and I'm happy that they can go to mamas who want to use them. I just knew that at the rummage sale they'd sell for a quarter, if that, if they sold at all, and then not to someone who could/would really use them.







:

Becca, how are you juggling it all?!! Hire someone to clean for you once a week, that's my suggestion.


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## Yo Becca (Apr 17, 2005)

Well, I moaned to MIL long enough - she's coming to help clean next week. And I say "help," but I am not going to be around to do any of it...so really, she'll just be here to clean. ANd YES, I know how lucky I am that she's willing and available and wanted....but I'm also drowning in a sea of obligations and desperately in need of help so I don't feel "lucky." Lucky would be having the time and freedom to do it myself. But it's a hell of my own making, so I shouldn't complain.

We had to go out to eat last night b/c I didn't have a clean place for anyone to eat. Clint and I have been eating standing up in the kitchen for over a week (not at the same time - we haven't been in the house at the same time for a meal in over a week either), with Eli in his high chair throwing food to the dog and Robin standing at a stepstool at the kitchen counter. Clint's GF died friday before last, and we were out of town for the funeral last weekend - it's knocked us all well behind whatever schedules we're on. Robin and Eli held up pretty well for all the transitions, late nights, sleeping over with family, etc.

Eli said his first sentece this week - "I wanna play w'that" At least, that's what I heard. he's pretty non-verbal, but I'm starting to hear a few multi-word combinations. None of them particularly clear, but it's a good step. He's also starting to wean (mostly b/c we hardly see each other at nap and bedtime anymore, and that's the only time he nurses), so I think my period's coming back. I've only had 3 periods since getting preggo with Robin...so since Nov. of 2003...

I bought a diva cup and some gladrags and am gonna try to dtich the throw-away stuff. But I';m also getting a mirena IUD. I know some of you guys have had IUD's - are they diva-cup compatible (I know there's a string involved).

Jilly - hugs, mama. If you suspect SID, i definitely encourage you to pursue it. The labels are worrysome, but really it's about helping him find coping strategies, and helping you find the best ways to advocate for him. Like, setting limits with his teacher about competive/overstimulating games. I imagine if she understood what that experience was like for him, she'd plan differently. I have a student with SID, and the fact that his parents know more about it, are seeking OT, and that we know what's going on at school...it's made a big difference,a nd he's a much happier kid.

Janasmama - Enjoy your last days of pregnancy! I can't wait to hear your good news!!


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

well it doesn't seem like fall here yet. We're in the north part of America, and today through next week it should be in the 80's to 90's !! It's more like summer now than it was in summer. Although we do get those nice cool nights.


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## AugustineM (Mar 21, 2005)

Ahhh, I love fall. It's just barely starting here. We've had a weird streak of 70-80 degree weather but in the next couple days it's supposed to be 60ish and the leaves are starting to turn. I looove living here on the island -- it's so farmish and awesome. But I already can't stand renting and am dying to own our own house again, on a couple acres. I so want to get chickens and have a garden next summer, and keep bees again.

I'll be 36 weeks pg on Saturday. Thor randomly says, "In about 3 weeks, mom, that's when the baby will be born." So... it's coming up soon. My guess is around October 20th, as for some reason I don't think i will go to 40 weeks. I'm starting to freak out a bit about having 3 kids. I just know it means I won't be able to go that many places by myself... like, for instance, the grocery store. Or the library. I guess I WILL be able to go for walks and to the park. And with thor in school 2 days a week, that will give me a chance to grocery shop and things with only 2 kids.

Thor is in a dance class one morning a week and he loves it. Today he wore a sparkly blue leotard with white fringe, and he just danced his little heart out. He's so long and lean -- he looks like he has a dancer's body already, yk?


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

^ I hear ya on the 3 kid thing...Next year my DD will be in kindy though so that will only give me two for half the day. I definitely won't go to the grocery store with all three though, it will be an after bedtime thing or while DH can watch them.


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

I wanted to share with you some books that we've been reading that Lukas thinks are hilarious (he actually gets a belly laugh...). They're called: Stories to Read to your Dog, Stories to Read to your Cat, Stories to Read to your Teddy. I like the dog one and the L likes the teddy one. The story kind of has a twist in the plot so kids look at a story from a different perspective. Perhaps as it gets into worse weather, it would be a good book to curl up with the kids.

anyways, life here is hectic, and I kept thinking things would remain slow paced since I'm not technically employed. Yet, we find ourselves super busy... And I've turned into the "in a minute" mom, and L into the "look at me" kid. He's not in preschool, and perhaps he would have done just fine there. But we decided to wait. I have him in a couple classes, and I need to be better about getting some play time in with him each day which helps ease his demands. Plus there's a little girl the same age across the street that is homeschooled so we get to play with her whenever they are home.


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## JenInMpls (Jan 18, 2004)

Here's a link to the new thread for the rest of the year.


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