# Can you wipe your child's nose, pretty please?



## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

This is more of a rant I suppose. What is up with parents not wiping their kid's noses?

Scenario: Kiddie pool. Mom lounging on the side of kiddie pool. She is interacting with her child, so I know she sees the trail of green mucous coming out of his nose and heading down to his lips. Why would she not wipe it?

Now, I realize we can't be all over our kids noses all the time. Especially if we have children that suffer from allergies or nasal/sinus issues. But when interacting with another child or in a kiddie pool or playing on public equipment????

I'm grossed out real easily, so that doesn't help. I just don't get it







And I seem to be running into it more and more. And when my kid is swimming in the same pool or playing with the same exhibit at the museum or something, I really want to politely say, "oh, I have a tissue, would you like one?"

I'm guessing that won't go over too well?


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## LotusBirthMama (Jun 25, 2005)

No. I don't think it would go over well. My son has a pretty runny nose all the time. He has since birth. Now, I try to give it as many wipes as I can, but I by no means hover waiting for snot. Wiping his nose will send him into a huge fit and he will cease to be a happy kid. He will be a screaming crying kid which just means more snot.

And the pool? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there is a lot worse than snot in a public pool.


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## SarahGuinn (Mar 6, 2002)

I would give it up during pollen season.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LotusBirthMama* 
No. I don't think it would go over well. My son has a pretty runny nose all the time. He has since birth. Now, I try to give it as many wipes as I can, but I by no means hover waiting for snot. Wiping his nose will send him into a huge fit and he will cease to be a happy kid. He will be a screaming crying kid which just means more snot.

And the pool? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there is a lot worse than snot in a public pool.


Well, yes, community pools can be less than ideal. It is a semi-private pool, in a sense.

I'm not saying hover waiting for snot. I am talking about someone sitting there doing nothing but lounging and still deciding not to wipe. While said child is sticking my child's ball in his mouth.

Just because I am in a pool used by a community shouldn't mean we shouldn't attempt to practice good hygene.


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## LotusBirthMama (Jun 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 

Just because I am in a pool used by a community shouldn't mean we shouldn't attempt to practice good hygene.


All I'm saying is I would worry more about the fecal matter. To each his own.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LotusBirthMama* 
All I'm saying is I would worry more about the fecal matter. To each his own.










Oh now you've done it. I'm never going to the pool again.

As mentioned, it is a semi-private well-maintained place. It is a rare day that there is more than 2 or 3 kids in the pool. I am not so worried about fecal matter I guess.


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## Azuralea (Jan 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
Oh now you've done it. I'm never going to the pool again.

As mentioned, it is a semi-private well-maintained place. It is a rare day that there is more than 2 or 3 kids in the pool. I am not so worried about fecal matter I guess.

All you need is one kid who's still working on those wiping skills or had a bad wiping day...









I try not to think about it.







:


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## Keeping up (Apr 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Azuralea* 
All you need is one kid who's still working on those wiping skills or had a bad wiping day...









I try not to think about it.








:

You made me laugh

... I say offer the tissue. I have been offered tissues before - always thought of it as a kind gesture for the momma who forgot to bring the tissues that day. (Now have to wonder if it is a gesture to help fix that horrible lazy mom who just can't see the snot on her kid's face.] I have four kiddos and should have a box stuffed in my back pocket every moment of my day, but sometimes I forget when I am rushing out the door to hopefully get anywhere, close to on-time.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

There are way too many kids running around with snotty noses and food all over their faces. I don't understand why parents don't clean their kids faces. In fact, I think a little hovering is necessary if your kid has a snotty nose. I myself have a runny nose all the time, as I have allergies. But I assure you that I do not walk around with snot on my face! And the food thing, I just don't get why I continue to see kids with left over spaghetti stuck around their mouths at the grocery store. Gross.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

I asked this on another thread and never got an answer. Just TMI maybe?

What about when you look down and your kids got a snotball hanging down, and you have nothing with you to wipe? You're at the park. There are no tissues, no bathroom nearby, nothing.

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.


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## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

Ugh I totally agree, this is a major pet peeve of mine. I completely understand that you can't wipe your kid's nose constantly, and that some kids may have a fit over it, but it seems like every single kid I see has snot all over their face. Oh and if it's all green or yellow and thick, it's probably not allergies.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I asked this on another thread and never got an answer. Just TMI maybe?

What about when you look down and your kids got a snotball hanging down, and you have nothing with you to wipe? You're at the park. There are no tissues, no bathroom nearby, nothing.

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.

And yes that's definitely what I'd do.


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## aja-belly (Oct 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
What about when you look down and your kids got a snotball hanging down, and you have nothing with you to wipe? You're at the park. There are no tissues, no bathroom nearby, nothing.

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.

i use the underside of their shirt or if they are in a onsie the undwerside of my shirt. then at least it is not on a surface that other people might come into contact with.


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## grumpybear (Oct 5, 2006)

I use the underside of my shirt too if I don't have tissue or a handkerchief.

I agree, it's really gross and would appreciate the kid's nose being wiped too (especially if green and thick) but I'm a wuss and I don't know how to say it without offending.


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## Azuralea (Jan 29, 2007)

An FYI since we're getting into the grossness: allergies can definitely produce thick green snot. The old wives' tale about how thick green or dark yellow means contagion isn't really true. It can definitely come purely from non-contagious allergies.

(I'm a compulsive snot wiper of my poor DS, but I also don't freak when I see snot on other kids, especially where I live where there are a ton of grass allergies.)


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
Oh now you've done it. I'm never going to the pool again.

As mentioned, it is a semi-private well-maintained place. It is a rare day that there is more than 2 or 3 kids in the pool. I am not so worried about fecal matter I guess.

it doesn't really matter how many people are in the pool, it only takes one person to contaminate it. i am willing to bet large sums of money at least one child pees in that pool every single day. if there are young children then i'm guessing that at least once a week somebody goes in there after not wiping up real well post poop.

water in the nose makes peoples nose run. i can sympathize with your frustration but i wonder if the kid really doesn't like his nose wiped. at our house i would likely get kicked or smacked for FORCING a kid to wipe his nose. perhaps she knew he wasn't sick and just assumed kids have runny noses when they're in the watter as a matter of course.

of course, as the mom of chronically runny nosed kiddo i have to say i'd never ever let my child mouth other people's toys while all snotty.


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## belovedofbast (Apr 4, 2008)

As a lifeguard and pool operator, I am compelled to say SOMETHING.

Yes, there is stuff in the pool, but that is why we have sanitizing agents (usually chlorine).

A well maintained pool with the proper chemical levels isn't going to kill you. I'm not sure about where you live, but here we are required to send in water samples every week to the lab for testing.

As for snot. I vote wipe it. We keep boxes of tissue on the pool deck for this purpose


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Wiping DS's snotty nose sometimes involves wrestling him to the ground and then stradling him so I can hold his head still while wiping. During his last cold he would cry and run off if he saw a box of tissues







. In that situation I would ignore the snot myself and try to get it later while toweling him dry.


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## Parthenia (Dec 12, 2001)

Not much grosses me out, except this hits my buttons almost irrationally. My neighbor, one of my best friends, one of the coolest moms (and people for that matter), regularly wipes her youngest son's nose with her fingers. Sometimes she does it before eating. It drives me insane.

My older dd has allergies and a frequent runny nose. I have to get on her to wipe her nose. I frequently carry tissues, I take extra napkins in restaurants. I'm not far from something that could function as a snot rag. One more than one occasion I've handed my friend a tissue and she's said, "That's okay, I got it." How about to wipe your hands, sister?!?!

I think it bugs me because I work in health care, mostly with people with respiratory issues and sleep apnea. Snot abatement and easy breathing is my thing.

I'm lucky, though. My kids have always been pretty easy-going about letting me wipe their noses.

That said, on those rare occasions where I haven't had access to a tissue for the kids, I've used my sleeve.


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

Wow, the first thread I open in the morning - so much for my breakfast. I guess I should open this up when I want to start munching - this thread definately controls my appetite.









Anyways - I am one who can't stand to see snot running down a kid's face. My dd has allergies, but it's more in her eyes. I would definately be grossed out if the snot was green or yellow. Clear - wouldn't bother me as much.

My dd is 8 and we still keeps wipes in the car for those "just in case" moments.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I suppose I can, but I wouldn't do such a thing to an unwilling child and I'm a little surprised that this was said on MDC. I think it's cruel to take a perfectly happy child, and come after him with a tissue, and then when he screams, tries to run away, and turns his face from side to side frantically trying to avoid it (screaming all the while), to tackle him, force his head into place and do the exact thing he has just been essentially begging me not to do to him. It's not very GD.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
I suppose I can, but I wouldn't do such a thing to an unwilling child and I'm a little surprised that this was said on MDC.

What are you surprised is said on MDC? That I don't like green snot in the pool?
The "you" in my thread title was not towards you the MDC mom. It is referring to what I was thinking while a child with green mucous on his face was gnawing on my kid's pool toy.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
I think it's cruel to take a perfectly happy child, and come after him with a tissue, and then when he screams, tries to run away, and turns his face from side to side frantically trying to avoid it (screaming all the while), to tackle him, force his head into place and do the exact thing he has just been essentially begging me not to do to him. It's not very GD.

My ds doesn't love it either but his reaction isn't this strong, so I don't know what this is like. That must be really hard when he has a cold. Although I don't equate wiping runny noses with gentle discipline.

MDC is an interesting place to get different point of views. What can I say, I'm just not very mucous-tolerant.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Well, I do my best, but I have three kids three and under, and all of them have hay fever issues, and sometimes I just wanna have two minutes to sit and relax with happy kids and not have to deliberately provoke a tantrum or a screaming fit over a little snot. It's often just not worth the yowling. But I do try, especially when other people will be affected by it.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *belovedofbast* 
As a lifeguard and pool operator, I am compelled to say SOMETHING.

Yes, there is stuff in the pool, but that is why we have sanitizing agents (usually chlorine).

A well maintained pool with the proper chemical levels isn't going to kill you. I'm not sure about where you live, but here we are required to send in water samples every week to the lab for testing.

As for snot. I vote wipe it. We keep boxes of tissue on the pool deck for this purpose









Thank you! This place has been operating for 40+ years and they haven't lost anybody yet. Every now and then the big pool and kiddie pool is closed for 15 hours which means someone did something nasty in the pool and they shock the hell out of it. Not so pleasant, all those chemicals, but it's over 100 degrees here and I trust it enough to make our afternoons more pleasant and attend.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LotusBirthMama* 
All I'm saying is I would worry more about the fecal matter. To each his own.









A little OT --

Just curious -- will you swim in anything? Lake, pond, ocean, river? Just wondering cause they all have their freaky little things going on.

Has anyone ever been kayaking? Did you know that proper etiquette is to pee in the river? I didn't know until my friends took me, I was surprised.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Uh, I wouldn't have a tissue with me if I was at the pool either. My swimsuit doesn't have pockets and tissues aren't waterproof. I might have one in the locker but I wouldn't think it was such a big deal that I needed to get my DC out of the pool and carry her back to the changing room just to wipe her nose. I guess I don't see how the mama was supposed to take care of the kid's nose if she was supervising her DC and either in the pool herself or unable to leave to go get one.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amitymama* 
Uh, I wouldn't have a tissue with me if I was at the pool either. My swimsuit doesn't have pockets and tissues aren't waterproof. I might have one in the locker but I wouldn't think it was such a big deal that I needed to get my DC out of the pool and carry her back to the changing room just to wipe her nose. I guess I don't see how the mama was supposed to take care of the kid's nose if she was supervising her DC and either in the pool herself or unable to leave to go get one.

Not only are there napkins all around (there is an eating area), but I would guess she had a towel or two.

Did I mention it was green? I am not bellyaching about a thin little film of clear snot here. Thick. Green. Child chewing on other kid's toys. In my eyes, she should have done something.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
My ds doesn't love it either but his reaction isn't this strong, so I don't know what this is like.

However, the child at the pool may reach like this if his mom tried to wipe his nose. No one is saying that _you_ shouldn't wipe _your_ DS's nose. We are simply saying that the other mother might not want to wipe her DS's nose b/c it is quite possible that he would react like it was torture. Then someone would post over in GD how they had seen a mother wrestling her poor child to the ground and forcefully hold him there just so she could wipe a little snot from his nose while he screamed.

I really can sympathize with the mom at the pool, I don't want DS to go around with a stuffed up snotty nose either, but unless he litterally is having trouble breathing b/c of it I'm not going to risk hurting him or simply making him feel violated just so I don't have to look at a little snot.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
However, the child at the pool may reach like this if his mom tried to wipe his nose. No one is saying that _you_ shouldn't wipe _your_ DS's nose. We are simply saying that the other mother might not want to wipe her DS's nose b/c it is quite possible that he would react like it was torture. Then someone would post over in GD how they had seen a mother wrestling her poor child to the ground and forcefully hold him there just so she could wipe a little snot from his nose while he screamed.

I really can sympathize with the mom at the pool, I don't want DS to go around with a stuffed up snotty nose either, but unless he litterally is having trouble breathing b/c of it I'm not going to risk hurting him or simply making him feel violated just so I don't have to look at a little snot.

Huh.
Alright. I guess I am looking at it from the POV of someone who doesn't know about kids who get upset by having their nose wiped. Around here, it's just something that happens occasionally, not so much a violation.

Also, if my son wouldn't let me wipe his nose, and he had green mucous then we would probably not go to the pool that day. He only has had green mucous when he had bad colds.
(DISCLAIMER: Yes all children are different. Some may have green mucous when they don't have colds. I realize this. No need to post about the hundred other reasons that a kid may have green mucous other than a bad cold.)

I guess in the future instead of offering a tissue, I will put our toys away. There is no reason why my child should have the benefit of green mucous on his toys just because someone else doesn't want to wipe their kid's nose.

ETA: Kid's are funny, aren't they? It would drive me loopy not to wipe my drippy nose, and they don't seem to mind it.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I don't see an issue with simply offering a tissue to someone. That doesn't mean you are wrestling the kid to the ground or being nasty to the other mom. She doesn't have to accept. If she doesn't want to wipe it then let it go without comment.

If the child was chewing on our toys I would (a) ask him/mom not to put our toys in his mouth or (b) put them away.


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## Eaglevoice (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
A little OT --

Just curious -- will you swim in anything? Lake, pond, ocean, river? Just wondering cause they all have their freaky little things going on.

Has anyone ever been kayaking? Did you know that proper etiquette is to pee in the river? I didn't know until my friends took me, I was surprised.

Urine is actually quite sanitary...that's why surfers and scuba divers pee in their wetsuits to warm up.

As for the snot issue... dd1 doesn't mind her nose being wiped at all, it's a total non-issue. DD2 on the other hand, hates it. And since dd1 has started going to a toddler pre-school and bringing home all kinds of ripe germs, dd2 has been sick a lot lately. Lot's of snot happening in this house. I'll be the first to admit that there are times when I let her run around with the snot all over her face because it is much easier than the scenario that would ensue in trying to wipe it. That being said, I wouldn't allow her to mouth another childs toy if she had snot dripping down her face, that is disrespectful.


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## mommy777 (Nov 12, 2007)

I really try to keep my kids noses clean. I can't imagine looking right at a snotty nose and ignoring it. I wouldn't freak out over it though.


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LotusBirthMama* 
Wiping his nose will send him into a huge fit and he will cease to be a happy kid. He will be a screaming crying kid which just means more snot.









: Sometimes I have to let the nose run. The trauma of wiping it is just not worth it sometimes. Getting DS to let you wipe his nose is like wrestling a greased pig including the matching squeals.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
I suppose I can, but I wouldn't do such a thing to an unwilling child and I'm a little surprised that this was said on MDC. I think it's cruel to take a perfectly happy child, and come after him with a tissue, and then when he screams, tries to run away, and turns his face from side to side frantically trying to avoid it (screaming all the while), to tackle him, force his head into place and do the exact thing he has just been essentially begging me not to do to him. It's not very GD.

so, what about kids who hate having baths?? dont give them one? what about children who hate going to the dentist? or getting their diaper changed? I mean, no matter how gd you are, at some point, you are going to have to do something that displeases your child. It isnt cruel to teach your child that it is a disgusting thing to have snot all over your face. It is cruel to teach them that that is ok.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

If it bothered me, I'd probably ask the child not to put our toys in his mouth. I suppose I'm thinking that if your view is that fecal matter is okay because the pool is chlorinated, then why shouldn't the same apply for snot? It's not actually a hygiene issue that concerns you; it's a gross-ness issue.


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I asked this on another thread and never got an answer. Just TMI maybe?

What about when you look down and your kids got a snotball hanging down, and you have nothing with you to wipe? You're at the park. There are no tissues, no bathroom nearby, nothing.

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.

I use the inside of my shirt. Oh man, I even gross myself out.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
However, the child at the pool may reach like this if his mom tried to wipe his nose. No one is saying that _you_ shouldn't wipe _your_ DS's nose. We are simply saying that the other mother might not want to wipe her DS's nose b/c it is quite possible that he would react like it was torture. Then someone would post over in GD how they had seen a mother wrestling her poor child to the ground and forcefully hold him there just so she could wipe a little snot from his nose while he screamed.

I really can sympathize with the mom at the pool, I don't want DS to go around with a stuffed up snotty nose either, but unless he litterally is having trouble breathing b/c of it I'm not going to risk hurting him or simply making him feel violated just so I don't have to look at a little snot.

This is effectively what I meant, but I was being tongue-in-cheek with the "surprised this would be at MDC" line.


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I asked this on another thread and never got an answer. Just TMI maybe?

What about when you look down and your kids got a snotball hanging down, and you have nothing with you to wipe? You're at the park. There are no tissues, no bathroom nearby, nothing.

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.


LOL I don't. I use my sleeve or the inside of my shirt- that way I can skip a step (you know- wipe nose then discard on jeans LOL)
My DS doesn't have a runny nose too too often and when he does, I swipe it with my sleeve but he's DIRTY A lot LOL. He plays outside all day long, in the dirt and hates to be wiped down so I don't (A lil dirt never hurt!). Plus, he's barefoot a lot. We went into the car dealership yesterday to get my car after some work and I wouldn't have been shocked if someone had offered me their SHOWER.
So... I think offering a tissue might be OK. Just say it off hand... "oh, here you go. Jeez, kids sure can use a ton of tissues, huh?"


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## midwestmom (Feb 5, 2005)

I would be very happy if someone offered me a tissue. I have 4 small children and really try to keep noses wiped esp when we are in public. I don't always get it done but if I am sitting there staring at my kid with green snot down to his/her lip, I wipe it or ask them too just in case they don't realize it (depending on age). My kids don't seem to feel violated though when their nose is wiped, so maybe that plays into it







. I certainly wouldn't let my kids chew on someone elses toy with snot dripping down. That is disrespectful, IMO.


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## New_Natural_Mom (Dec 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
I suppose I can, but I wouldn't do such a thing to an unwilling child and I'm a little surprised that this was said on MDC. I think it's cruel to take a perfectly happy child, and come after him with a tissue, and then when he screams, tries to run away, and turns his face from side to side frantically trying to avoid it (screaming all the while), to tackle him, force his head into place and do the exact thing he has just been essentially begging me not to do to him. It's not very GD.


There is GD, but also responsible parenting and community sensitivity. Mucous carries pathogens and is one of the most common methods of illness transmission. With superbugs and all the other nasties out there, I think public health trumps a second's discomfort. IMHHO, I think this is taking gd to the extreme.

nak


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## tabasco (Dec 20, 2007)

This thread really amuses me. We went to our community pool for the first time yesterday, and DD's nose started running like a fountain while we were there. We didn't have any tissues, so DH had to use one of our towels. (Also, at the playground, I've used leaves before when a runny nose has struck suddenly.) I certainly wouldn't be offended if someone were to offer me a tissue--as long as it were done in a kind, non-judgmental way.

I have to say, though, that I would put away the toys if I didn't want other children to play with them for some reason. At every pool I've ever been to, pool toys are basically communal property. If one is concerned about germs or losing the toy, it's best to put it away or not bring it at all, IMO.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
If it bothered me, I'd probably ask the child not to put our toys in his mouth. I suppose I'm thinking that if your view is that fecal matter is okay because the pool is chlorinated, then why shouldn't the same apply for snot? It's not actually a hygiene issue that concerns you; it's a gross-ness issue.









When did I ever say fecal matter is fine and dandy with me?


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
If it bothered me, I'd probably ask the child not to put our toys in his mouth. I suppose I'm thinking that if your view is that fecal matter is okay because the pool is chlorinated, then why shouldn't the same apply for snot? It's not actually a hygiene issue that concerns you; it's a gross-ness issue.

A green ball of snot directly on the ball seems worse to me than a tiny trace of feces floating around getting chlorinated and perhaps not even contacting you. Now if the kid was wiping his bum with the ball...

As for snot - DS2 is traumatized by tissues or cloth wiping his nose when it's runny, so when no-one is around, I use my fingers (gross, but doesn't bother him at all, keeps him clean, and I clean my hands before touching other stuff). When people are around, especially in the OP situation, I would traumatize him with a tissue for the split second it takes to desnottify his face - mainly because of the close proximity and toy sharing. If you offered me a tissue, I'd be thankful (and probably embarrassed).


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## because (Sep 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
so, what about kids who hate having baths?? dont give them one? what about children who hate going to the dentist? or getting their diaper changed? I mean, no matter how gd you are, at some point, you are going to have to do something that displeases your child. It isnt cruel to teach your child that it is a disgusting thing to have snot all over your face. It is cruel to teach them that that is ok.

I agree!


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
Huh.
I guess in the future instead of offering a tissue, I will put our toys away. There is no reason why my child should have the benefit of green mucous on his toys just because someone else doesn't want to wipe their kid's nose.

ETA: Kid's are funny, aren't they? It would drive me loopy not to wipe my drippy nose, and they don't seem to mind it.


i think that is a good plan. or just move to a different spot. if the mom was too lazy to keep the snot away you probably don't want to invite too much friendly interaction with her. if her child has some issue that makes it impractically difficult to stop what he's doing to wrestle him to the ground then it's likely a good plan to move the toys as well and leave out only the one your child is playing with at the time as the child likely has either some issues that make it hard for him to avoid touching interesting things even though they're not his or a parent who can't be bothered to supervise play when he's getting into other people's things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrspineau View Post
so, what about kids who hate having baths?? dont give them one? what about children who hate going to the dentist? or getting their diaper changed? I mean, no matter how gd you are, at some point, you are going to have to do something that displeases your child. It isnt cruel to teach your child that it is a disgusting thing to have snot all over your face. It is cruel to teach them that that is ok.
there are children who don't like baths and then there are children who don't like baths. my son gets a good one once or twice a week. he finds water painful and has extreme sensory issues. no, he is not spoiled. it's a real problem. so yeah, it makes sense to be lax bout some issues when it's not a health issue. i take his kicks and screams as signs of something more than displeasure and so we go with one good bath a week and some good OT. i would think that for a child who has slightly less extreme sensitivity a good idea would be to help sensitize the kid at home without the trouble of private therapy. of course, you can only let some things go on so long. just saying that the proper response to such things is not always so clearcut and easy.

if you offered me a tissue i'd likely say thanks and if it seemed like a bad time i'd just gross you out and use my hand or say no thanks and move away from your kid's toys.


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## kalimay (May 25, 2005)

I use the inside of the front of my shirt if I do not have a tissue.
It does gross me out to see snot, especially green, on kids faces. For those who do not wipe their kids noses because the kid will have a fit, what do you do if there is fecal matter on their bum and they don't want it wiped? Wait, never mind, I really do not want to know.


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## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *New_Natural_Mom* 
There is GD, but also responsible parenting and community sensitivity. Mucous carries pathogens and is one of the most common methods of illness transmission. With superbugs and all the other nasties out there, I think public health trumps a second's discomfort. IMHHO, I think this is taking gd to the extreme.nak

I've gone through periods where my DD is teething and it's all snot all the time. And she does the whole greased pig wrestling thing described by a pp. So that would mean a full out wrestling match every 15 minutes for something that was grossing ME out, but didn't bother her at all. That really doesn't seem fair to her.


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## belovedofbast (Apr 4, 2008)

I have a lot to say about this!

First off, I don't think wiping a child's nose even though he hates it is violating him. There's GD and then there's taking it to the extreme, like a PP mentioned. Snot does carry a lot of pathogens, and really, I don't want to be pulling it out of my hair lint filters at the end of the night. That being said, as a lifeguard, I'm not going to chase you down with the kleenex box, but I will politely offer it to you. However, leave your child under 7 unattended and I will not be a happy camper.

I was hoping to avoid this, but many people seem to be concerned regarding the floaties in the pool.

1 in 5 people urinate in the pool (not just kids!) sometimes voluntarily (the warm spot) or involuntarily as a result of being in the water. The numbers go up in hot tubs. However, I have been told by nurses that urine is sterile. In addition, the average person, assuming they wipe their butts has about 0.14 grams of feces stuck on their butt...that goes into the water as well. However, in a well maintained pool, you are unlikely to get a Recreational Water Illness from solid fecal matter (diarrhea is a problem), as there are strict guidelines (here, anyway) as to how much Free and Combined Chlorine we have in our pools, as well as pH.

If you thought that was bad, keep in mind that there are 600 000 000 organisms left behind from one person (!) in a 150L bathtub after 5 minutes with no soap.

Humans are covered in all sorts of crap, even the hygenic ones. A reputable pool will have well balanced water (that is our business after all).

And yes, even knowing that, I still go swimming regularly, and I put my head under the water. I also swim in lakes and rivers, unless there are warnings posted.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

I admit it, I am a compulsive wiper. My kids don't often have runny noses, but when they do, I am always wiping. I cannot stand huge amounts of snot running down a kid's face.

This is actually why I stopped going to Music Together years ago. We started when ds1 was about 2 years old. There was this really nice mom there with her toddler son, and her son almost always had huge gobs of green snot running down his face. They are sitting together and interacting - no way did she not see it. She never once wiped it, and it grossed me out too much. Not to mention that they were sharing musical instruments, and my kid would get sick a few days after each class. I finally gave up and quit halfway through. I don't care if it's allergies or not - carry some tissues with you. I suffer from allergies so I understand that's it a pain, but still.

Gah. It really makes my stomach turn.


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## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

I'd offer a kleenex/napkin...something. Anything.

I wipe my dd's nose when it needs wiped. She doesn't like it, but it's just gross not to wipe.

If her nose is really snotty/running...I straddle her and suction her out. Yeah, she throws a screaming fit. But afterwards she can breathe, it's not running down her throat or in her mouth, and she's not "sliming" everything in her path.

Unless your kid has a genuine sensory issue (as a PP mentioned) I think it's unresponsible/gross to not _at least_ wipe a kid's nose. (I think I'm the first one who mentioned suctioning the nose....maybe that will cause more controversy. But, I'm a proudly dedicated wiper/suctioner...it's plain gross and unhealthy for all that snot to run down a kids throat, into their mouth, etc. Not getting that out of the nose can cause sore throats, tummy aches, etc.).


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

I also can't stand it when kids have dirty faces at a party or get together and the parents (or grandparents) don't take time to notice and clean them up. I understand sometimes it's impossible to catch it but I took tons of pics of my great-neice and nephew at a birthday party a while back and both of their faces had yellow cheese doodle and choc cake around their mouths. The pictures would have been nice had they been cleaned before being allowed to run around and play after eating.







We had an ample supply of wet wipes and a bathroom with water at the party.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

you know what.....if you are this complusive about the cleanilness of _other people's_ faces I guess we can't hang out.....


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

OK seriously now, I was tongue-in-cheek before but now I'm not. Are you really saying that unless a child has diagnosed sensory conditions, it's not only acceptable but mandatory to force him or her to undergo a procedure on HIS or HER body that he or she hates?


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
OK seriously now, I was tongue-in-cheek before but now I'm not. Are you really saying that unless a child has diagnosed sensory conditions, it's not only acceptable but mandatory to force him or her to undergo a procedure on HIS or HER body that he or she hates?

Are you saying that you have no problem with your child rubbing their pathogen infected snot all over my children?


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

If DS's nose is running, I take steps to prevent him from rubbing the snot anywhere. (Redirecting him from shared toys, or sometimes I can trick him into a "hug" so the snot comes off on my jacket and then I can take off the jacket and wash it later.) For him, that is easier than having his nose outright wiped. I do think that parents should stop the transfer of snot from person to person, of course, but whether that is done by wiping the nose or by some other means is a matter of aesthetics and practicality, not hygiene.

If he puts a toy in his mouth or near it, I'd be washing it off anyway before letting another child touch it because there would be drool on it, whether or not I wiped his nose. Saliva has as many pathogens as snot does.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
OK seriously now, I was tongue-in-cheek before but now I'm not. Are you really saying that unless a child has diagnosed sensory conditions, it's not only acceptable but mandatory to force him or her to undergo a procedure on HIS or HER body that he or she hates?

Actually, I'd argue that even if your child has sensory issues they should be taught to wipe their own noses asap and should not be left with snot of any colour dribbling down their face. Their skin will get chapped and sore, and you replace one kind of unwanted sensory stimulus with another.
BUT I don't have anywhere to put a tissue when I go swimming with DD, so I tend to be laxer then







:


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## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

My two boys always seem to have some kind of funky stuff on the end of their noses. I am constantly wiping away crustys and snot. To me it is embarrassing when they go somewhere and have icky noses. But, sometimes I forget to bring a kleenix in my purse, and would be glad if someone offered me one if I needed it.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I think I've been getting nitpicky and not emphasizing what was actually my main point from the beginning, which is this:

The OP's premise was that parents who don't wipe their kids' noses are being careless or lazy, or just don't care about grossing others out because geez, how hard is it to carry a tissue? But that premise is wrong; it can be a matter of much more than carrying a tissue. A lot of kids-- I know it's not just DS because I've seen it with others-- get very, very upset when their noses are wiped. I do force wiping his nose sometimes, I'm not a perfect model of CL, but nose-wiping is not something we "just do" in our family. How hard is it? Very hard sometimes. You can't assume that the parents you see have failed to bring tissue; they might be waiting for just the right moment to use the tissue they brought without causing too much of a meltdown.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
OK seriously now, I was tongue-in-cheek before but now I'm not. Are you really saying that unless a child has diagnosed sensory conditions, it's not only acceptable but mandatory to force him or her to undergo a procedure on HIS or HER body that he or she hates?

absolutely, if they are too young to understand the importance of cleanliness. It is their body, yes. However it is part of our job as parents to teach our children how to care for and respect their bodies. They NEED to learn not to like the feeling of having snot on their face. If you keep up with it and clean their faces when they are snotty or dirty, and their hands as well, then they will start to just like the feeling of having clean faces and hands. Okay, so they get upset for a minute. Maybe even five minutes. If it is upsetting to them longer than that, then that is a good time to teach them that such silly little things are not worth getting so upset over. That is another lesson that we as parents need to teach our children as well - to pick battles.


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## a(TM)?Star (Oct 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
This is more of a rant I suppose. What is up with parents not wiping their kid's noses?

Scenario: Kiddie pool. Mom lounging on the side of kiddie pool. She is interacting with her child, so I know she sees the trail of green mucous coming out of his nose and heading down to his lips. Why would she not wipe it?

Now, I realize we can't be all over our kids noses all the time. Especially if we have children that suffer from allergies or nasal/sinus issues. But when interacting with another child or in a kiddie pool or playing on public equipment????

I'm grossed out real easily, so that doesn't help. I just don't get it







And I seem to be running into it more and more. And when my kid is swimming in the same pool or playing with the same exhibit at the museum or something, I really want to politely say, "oh, I have a tissue, would you like one?"

I'm guessing that won't go over too well?

Um, I would have asked the mother if she wanted a tissue. I would have NO problem with that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LotusBirthMama* 
All I'm saying is I would worry more about the fecal matter. To each his own.









Oh, geez!! Gross. But I think we can think about snot and poo together. Both are gross, and contaminate.

OT. My friend has a sister who's kid is around a lot. Get that? Okay, this kiddo has dried up snot circling each nostril 3 layers thick. It's so incredibly disgusting, and neglectful, IMO, that she sends me pictures of it sometimes just because we can't imagine her mother thinking this is okay?


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## tabasco (Dec 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
If you keep up with it and clean their faces when they are snotty or dirty, and their hands as well, then they will start to just like the feeling of having clean faces and hands. Okay, so they get upset for a minute. Maybe even five minutes. If it is upsetting to them longer than that, then that is a good time to teach them that such silly little things are not worth getting so upset over. That is another lesson that we as parents need to teach our children as well - to pick battles.

Are you serious? My daughter is almost 2 and still hates having her face and hands wiped after meals. I am probably that mom who makes other moms on this thread cringe at the supermarket because her child's face isn't spotless. I do a cursory wipe, but getting her face sparkling clean just isn't a battle _I'm_ willing to fight.


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## Azuralea (Jan 29, 2007)

I'm a compulsive wiper (hate the look of snot







) but I don't think parents who aren't are lazy/bad parents/negligent or the other things they're getting labeled with on this thread.

I don't like being offered tissues. Usually when that's happened it's not because I'm not planning to wipe but because there is something a lot more pressing going on at that exact moment. I wipe as soon as I can. I don't appreciate the nagging.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Funny. I was just going to say Definitely offer a tissue. lol. I'd be grateful if someone offered me a tissue if ds's nose was runny. Ewww it grosses me out, and I try really hard to not have to touch it. ick! lol

I have a friend who's dd often has dried up snot on her cheeks, sometimes her hair is stuck in it. It's, uh, icky. lol.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 
I asked this on another thread and never got an answer. Just TMI maybe?

What about when you look down and your kids got a snotball hanging down, and you have nothing with you to wipe? You're at the park. There are no tissues, no bathroom nearby, nothing.

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.

I would, but I would be so super grossed out. Guh.
A small amount of clear runny snot doesn't gross me out much, that I can handle wiping with my hands (then washing asap afterwards).


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
I admit it, I am a compulsive wiper. My kids don't often have runny noses, but when they do, I am always wiping. I cannot stand huge amounts of snot running down a kid's face.

This is actually why I stopped going to Music Together years ago. We started when ds1 was about 2 years old. There was this really nice mom there with her toddler son, and her son almost always had huge gobs of green snot running down his face. They are sitting together and interacting - no way did she not see it. She never once wiped it, and it grossed me out too much. Not to mention that they were sharing musical instruments, and my kid would get sick a few days after each class. I finally gave up and quit halfway through. I don't care if it's allergies or not - carry some tissues with you. I suffer from allergies so I understand that's it a pain, but still.

Gah. It really makes my stomach turn.

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Also, I haven't reread my posts, but I don't think I actually called the other Mom names.

I will admit that because of an incident I witnessed the next day, the Mom doesn't appeal to me too much. Even though she was friendly. Maybe my opinion came through in my posts.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Wow, this is one of those threads I just don't entirely get.

For the record: if it bugs you, I don't see an issue with offering a tissue in a kindly way.

But I don't see why it bugs you to this extent.

Because the fact is that if people wipe their kids' noses, or especially if the kids wipe their noses themselves, even with Kleenex involved the likelihood is that they then have the germs on their hands and are going to spread the germs wherever they touch anyway - not to mention sneezing, coughing, etc., where the germs are really nice and fresh.

Although wiping a child's nose is of course going to help SOME, I think the idea that somehow wiping the nose is adequate prevention for spreading the germs is totally bogus.

I think it's just more that you can see it and so you can't stop thinking about it. Which is understandable, but if you are going to worry a lot about germs... you have to leave as soon as you see anyone that is sneezing or has a cold at all.

I really think our society has gone overboard in some ways (snotty kids are the plague!) and totally underboard in others (people don't have sick days, so they have to show up for work sick all the time).


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
For the record: if it bugs you, I don't see an issue with offering a tissue in a kindly way.

But I don't see why it bugs you to this extent.
).

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not losing sleep over it. It is something that I keep encountering, so I posted about it. I thought it was okay to rant a bit on MDC. No?


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## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
The OP's premise was that parents who don't wipe their kids' noses are being careless or lazy, or just don't care about grossing others out because geez, how hard is it to carry a tissue? But that premise is wrong; it can be a matter of much more than carrying a tissue. A lot of kids-- I know it's not just DS because I've seen it with others-- get very, very upset when their noses are wiped. I do force wiping his nose sometimes, I'm not a perfect model of CL, but nose-wiping is not something we "just do" in our family. How hard is it? Very hard sometimes. You can't assume that the parents you see have failed to bring tissue; they might be waiting for just the right moment to use the tissue they brought without causing too much of a meltdown.

Yes. This. It really isn't about "not-trying" "not-caring" or whatever. It IS about picking your battles. And if I have to fight a battle every 15 minutes, I'm just not going to pick it. I'll find another way to keep her snot off of your toys.


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## Toolip (Mar 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed* 

Do you just wipe with your hand and then wipe your hand off on your jeans?

Uh, cuz I do







:.

No way!!

That's what long sleeves are for









Just wipe and roll up for a fresh surface each time









I would totally offer a tissue.

I think that kind of snot (the "nose slug" variety that is thick and green and runs down to the lips only to be occasionally licked to trim off the excess) is TOTALLY GROSS!!

I am NOT that easy to gross out and the reason that snot is gross to me has NOTHING to do with germs. It is just gross. Period. (to me anyway, I'm not saying that everyone has to think it's gross)

I think that wiping it is for the sake of public decency. We all wear swimming suits at a public pool for the sake of decency. I think that we should wipe our noses and our kids noses too.

If it is so traumatic for a kid to have their nose wiped, maybe they shouldn't be put in a public situation that often induces very snotty noses.


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## YesandNo (Mar 16, 2008)

I think that while in public, kids should be strongly discouraged from things that would be disgusting if an adult were doing them in public. This includes running around covered in snot, nose picking, and playing with genitalia.


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## Toolip (Mar 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *YesandNo* 
I think that while in public, kids should be strongly discouraged from things that would be disgusting if an adult were doing them in public. This includes running around covered in snot, nose picking, and playing with genitalia.









Yes, yes!!


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Toolip* 
If it is so traumatic for a kid to have their nose wiped, maybe they shouldn't be put in a public situation that often induces very snotty noses.









So, if my DS was to get a snotty nose from getting pool water up it, then you feel I should either decide to risk giving him a concussion by wrestling him down on the cement area that surrounds a pool, or I should never take him out in public again b/c it might offend someone? Ofcourse, no one has ever commented on DS's occassional snot, but they have been offended b/c DS wanted to nurse. He usually wants to nurse if we're out for more than 2 hrs. I suppose I should avoid being out with him for more than 2 hrs, or maybe I should do what they have suggested and nurse him in the bathroom.

I will not compromise my DS's health or wellbeing just to avoid offending people who are grossed out by normal human functions.


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
I will not compromise my DS's health or wellbeing just to avoid offending people who are grossed out by normal human functions.

Huh? You're being overly dramatic for effect, here, right? I don't want to share your kid's normal human functions! He's free to nurse and have a runny nose, but I thought the OP was talking about _sharing_ snot... that's not cool. It's just. not. cool.

Defecation and urination are normal human functions too but they would gross me out if they were shared. Same with green goopy snots.


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
I'm not saying hover waiting for snot. I am talking about someone sitting there doing nothing but lounging and still deciding not to wipe. While said child is sticking my child's ball in his mouth.

This drives me crazy. Not to mention it's GROSS!!!

Please, please, please. If your child has snot dripping out of his nose into his mouth and you're sitting right there, wipe it for him.


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *YesandNo* 
I think that while in public, kids should be strongly discouraged from things that would be disgusting if an adult were doing them in public. This includes running around covered in snot, nose picking, and playing with genitalia.









:


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Toolip* 
I think that kind of snot (the "nose slug" variety that is thick and green and runs down to the lips only to be occasionally licked to trim off the excess) is TOTALLY GROSS!!

I am NOT that easy to gross out and the reason that snot is gross to me has NOTHING to do with germs. It is just gross. Period. (to me anyway, I'm not saying that everyone has to think it's gross)

I think that wiping it is for the sake of public decency. We all wear swimming suits at a public pool for the sake of decency. I think that we should wipe our noses and our kids noses too.

If it is so traumatic for a kid to have their nose wiped, maybe they shouldn't be put in a public situation that often induces very snotty noses.









Word!


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## momtoalexsarah (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tabasco* 
Are you serious? My daughter is almost 2 and still hates having her face and hands wiped after meals. I am probably that mom who makes other moms on this thread cringe at the supermarket because her child's face isn't spotless. I do a cursory wipe, but getting her face sparkling clean just isn't a battle _I'm_ willing to fight.

Do we have the same daughter LOL.
Actually my youngest has bad sinus problems because of a cleft palate and her nose is often running green gunk. She is not contagious, yes I wipe her nose and face when she is agreeable to it. If she is not wanting a wipe then I don't often push it because it WILL cause a meltdown of gigantic proportions.
My kids have sentive skin, constant washing and bathing causes rashes/ abrasions/ and pain so we avoid over cleaning the kids. They get a bath once a week in the tub with a cloth for actual washing. Durring the summer they have free rein of the garden hose for their washing pleasure.

But to be honest I little dirt never hurt anyone, far to many people in this world are paranoid about dirt and germs and keep there families in such sanitary conditions that it is actually CAUSING immune system problems.
We live on a farm - my kids get into ALL sorts of stuff in a day, from the day the learned to crawl. They are about the healthist kids going


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My DS2 has had oxygen tubes up his nose several times in his 10 months of life and will absolutely throw a rip-roaring fit and ruin any good time we might be having if I dare so much as touch his nose area. That's why he always has a snotty nose.


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