# why are some ppl so eager to ff???



## katie9143 (Oct 3, 2006)

seriously....

my dd is 28 is mos and i HAD to ff her a few months back cuz our older marathon from '07 was 33lb rf max. i wanted to cry. dh was so glad, not sure why, she was perfectly happy rf, slept well, etc (plus he hardly ever took her anywhere). she seems so exposed to me. does anyone feel the same way i do??

we live in MA but im not originally from here and seriously, i feel like the whole "bad MA driver" myth is so true. there are some days where im driving on 495 with all the crazy ppl and have this overwhelming desire to pull over to the side of the road and change her seat back to rfing. i have had nightmares about getting in accidents and things hitting her in the face.

maybe im insane


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

I know people I talk to say it seems easier, handing them toys, snacks, ect. I also think some people are uneducated. My 11 month old dd has her feet touching the seat and a friend said 'oh, looks like you have to ff her soon since her feet are touching,' I took it as an opportunity to educate her. Although, she is still planning on FF her almost 1 year old dd as soon as she can (20 lbs).

I want to RF as long as possible. Scares me so much.


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## Ducky5306 (Jul 2, 2006)

I think alot of parents are so excited to see their babies grow and get to the next stage of everything in life, ya know? I think its why alot of people feed solids so soon too.. just my opinion









Personally I was SO THANKFUL when i HAD to turn DS FF at 18 mo, He was 33lbs and gaining, he stalled at 35 (by 19mo) and is STILL 35 now at 3 y/o! He was a baby who SCREAMED in the car EVERY.SINGLE.CAR.TRIP! It was horrible







for all of us.. It got so much better after he was FF.. But if he was not at the weight limit I would not have turned him, I really wanted him RF as long as possible..


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

My oldest was a car screamer until we turned him. That's why I was eager!


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## creekprincess (Jan 11, 2008)

no eagerness here. DS is 32 months 31.5 lbs and his car seat RF to 35lbs. I will be sad when it is time to FF DS but I am hoping that True Fit's seat that is sopouse to come out is RF to 40 lbs like the MY65.

A girl I know has her 8 month old FF already because it is hot. I told her how dangerous it is but she didnt seem to care







so sad


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## Amila (Apr 4, 2006)

I don't know why either. My 27 pound 3 year old is happily rearfacing, although I get annoyed comments ALL THE TIME from friends and family about "don't you think its time to switch her around yet?" And these are people who I sent the info WITH the crash test videos too. I just don't get it.

Then there is my step sister who just turned her baby FF at 10 months. Sigh.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

I think for most people they don't know not to be eager. It's like people who start solids at 2 mos.







We turned AJ at 11 mos b/c I was going on an 8hr trip w/ just him, I didn't know any better. I learned better and he went rfing again at 27 mos and stayed till 34 mos. Evan rf till 47.5 mos and Ilana is still rfing at 30 mos. Then there are some people who just don't care and live so far in denial that they think nothing bad could ever possibly happen to them.


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

I'm not eager due to the safety aspects, but I find that installing most seats ffing is easier and they take up a lot less room (due to the front to back thing) which makes car seat configuration a bit more versatile. It's also easier for me to get my kids in and out when they are ffing, because they usually can get themselves in and seated and I just buckle.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

I wasn't exactly eager, but we did it before we "had" to in our seat (when the Boychick was about 18m/25ishlb) because driving was really, really hard on him, and therefore us. Car trips got a _lot_ more happy after we switched him, even if they also got less safe (I would argue that while his risk in the case of an accident went up, the overall likelihood of an accident went down, because a lot less of the driver's time was taken up trying to distract a really, really unhappy child).

Also, the front seat passenger got a lot more leg room, which for us (5'10" and 6'1" in a small sedan) is no small matter.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I'm not looking forward to it at ALL. I'm really thankful Aldria is small (23lbs at 19 months) so she can stay RF for a long while. She still likes to nurse in the car and I can buckle myself in the middle and nurse her so long as she's RF...once she turns FF that will end.

Another reason we didn't turn DS until he weaned.









DH wants me to turn Aldria at 2yrs too (we did with DS, he was 31lbs...his carseat goes to 33 but DH was pushing it heavy...) but she's so much smaller than DS and she is happy RF, we'll see.


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
My oldest was a car screamer until we turned him. That's why I was eager!

What about subsequent kids??

We turned my son at, I don't know, 13-14 months? He seemed happier, facing forward. MUCH happier.

Now with my girls they are still RF, at 14 months, and I have no desire to switch them. They are happy and I think maybe they are safer. BUT - they have each other, and DS, for entertainment. I mean, maybe they are just happier babies in the car, but I do wonder - foes rear facing work better if you are not alone back there?

The weird thing is I have had so many people ask, when are you going to switch them?

And I'm just like, I dont' know, they're small, they're happy, I don't know when. I don't feel any need to switch them. Nothing to do with revised guidelines, just no need to switch them. (And it's not just laziness... I just did a whole minivan clean out including washing car seats, and put them back in rear facing)


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
What about subsequent kids??


My other two were happy rearfacing. DD stayed that way until she was 18 months or so and hit 30 lbs (which was the rearfacing limit of the seat we had at the time). DS2 could technically still be rearfacing at 3 years 8 months, but we turned him a couple months back as he edge towards 33 lbs (he's actually lost a little weight and is at about 31-32 lbs now, but that's close enough to the limit of his seat that I'm not going to turn him back.) I also didn't know as much about RF safety when my oldest was a little one. I might have tried harder to keep him RF longer, but he really was such a distraction while driving that I actually did have a minor fender bender while trying to drive and comfort simultaneously.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

Like all parenting issues, this is just something people don't see as a priority and/or they aren't fully educated. It doesn't help when pediatricians tell parents they can turn them, or that the "rear face to the max" message is not really widely heard. There are many myths too, and people see each step (RF to FF to Booster to Belt) as a graduation. I turned DS in his 33lbs RF Marathon this weekend. At 2 1/2 he made it a good long way, but I was sad to see the end of that era. And then he freakin' stayed awake the whole drive this afternoon, dropping toys and fighting with his sister, which reminded my why rear facing is easier!


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

We held off FF DS till he was 14 month-ish when in desperation we flipped him around before a 4 hour car trip in the hopes, prayers of him NOT screaming the *ENTIRE* time (and no, me riding in the back, singing, nothing helped him calm down and *not* scream.. in fact, me riding in the back only accomplished *ME* wanting to scream and cry from having my hair yanked on while he screamed in my ear). If he'd been happy RF, he'd have stayed that way. If he'd even been bareble in the car RF he'd have stayed that way. But he wasn't. And my & DH's nerves being on edge for every car trip the *ENTIRE* time just wasn't safe period. So we flipped him. And you know what? He stopped screaming. Sure he still cries in the car occasionally. But its not the ENTIRE time he's in the car, every single time, without fail.


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## Oonah (Jul 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
My oldest was a car screamer until we turned him. That's why I was eager!

ditto! my first two SCREAMED while rf...i don't mean once in a while, I mean every trip, the entire trip....we were very eager to turn them..and when we did they were happy riders. Now baby #3 has her two older sibs entertaining her from the third row; she's perfectly happy rf and we have no plans to turn her any time soon.


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## pixiepunk (Mar 11, 2003)

with my first two i wasn't eager - i was desperate to get them forward facing. but they both got carsick every time we drove anywhere and i was constantly cleaning up vomit, listening to them scream because they felt nauseous... it was absolutely the most miserable thing ever. luckily at the time we lived in a city and didn't ahve to take the car much - i don't know what the heck we would've done if we lived where we live now back then, we have to drive everywhere. with DS i literally turned him the day he turned 1 (he was 28 lbs), and the vomiting almost completely stopped (i think he got sick in the car 2x after i turned him- compared with pretty much every time we got in the car rf'ing).

it was torture having them rf'ing - for them and for me, who could not concentrate on the road when i knew my baby was suffering just behind me.

i am so, so thankful that i finally have a baby who doesn't get carsick and doesn't seem to mind rf'ing at all! so she'll stay that way to the limit on her Radian, which had been my intention with the other two, but their comfort and my sanity won out over ideal safety.


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## ErikaS57 (Jul 15, 2008)

I'm in MA too and just turned my 26-month old FF. DH is happy cause in his car she can now watch the DVD player (though she wants to know where my "car TV" is now...). I wanted to RF her longer (she's only 25 pounds), but she was getting car sick way too often. Last time it was right when I pulled into the Babies R Us parking lot... couldn't bring her home in a pukey seat so I wiped it up, tossed it in the trunk, and bought a Nautilus (which was the plan eventually, but not till her little sister outgrew the Safeseat).


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## Bazile (May 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ilovemyavery* 
Like all parenting issues, this is just something people don't see as a priority and/or they aren't fully educated. It doesn't help when pediatricians tell parents they can turn them, or that the "rear face to the max" message is not really widely heard.









:
As someone who doesn't yet have children, all I ever hear about rear-facing is "One and Twenty". Billboards, PSA's, etc. Before I found MDC, it didn't occur to me that you could keep your kid rear-facing longer. I think I, subconsciously, thought that if you got pulled over while driving, that the police could actually write you a ticket for having your 13 month old rear-facing.








DH and I are friends with a couple who have a 21 month old. When their DD grew out of her bucket at about 9 months, I remember her mother complaining about having to buy a convertible seat, instead of a forward facing only seat, that was only good for three months. I'm not sure what the rear-facing limits are on their seat, but I don't think their DD has reached the weight limits yet. And if she has, barely.
Of the people we know, this seems to be the overwhelming view. People treat the numbers like their some kind of magic gateway, and not just a bare minimum.


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

DD is still RF at almost 4 now. I think she is around 28 lb. I will probably turn her sometime this fall/winter as she will be close to the 33 lb limit of her seat, and I think I will have to in order to fit 3 across the back of our Jeep Grand Cherokee when our new little one comes. But yeah, I am constantly getting the comments (from friends, even her preschool teacher -- she is the ONLY kid still RF at preschool!) saying she is getting big for that, and isn't it time to turn her? I use that as my oppurtunity to educate people on the safety of staying rear facing longer. Normally I mind my own business, but if they ask, well, they get to hear the lecture on why it is safer.







And who knows, maybe I will influence someone to at least consider it and keep their child safer.


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

Yep, a combo of everything mentioned. but mostly, they just don't know. Most parents dont equate FFing with..letting your kid play with a rattlesnake in the middle of a freeway surrounded by knives..which is about how dangerous it is. I know that *I* didn't know. which is why dd FFed at 8 months old when she outgrew her carseat rearfacing. Now that i do know, it's just a given. Ds won't be FFing until he is 35 (or more!) pounds or has exceeded the height limit on the tallest seats.


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## sprouthead (Jul 14, 2007)

i want to move ds ff so I can move my passenger seat back... for now i just have everyone taller than me drive or sit in the back..


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

We switched DS to FF at 13 months. DH was so excited and kept pestering me about when we could do it. At the time, he was convinced DS would enjoy himself more and interact with us if he was FF.

Neither of us had a clue, which is surprises me because I was totally out of control when it came to safety and danger issues. Somehow, the information on NOTff as soon as the owner's manuals say it is ok completely passed me by.

It wasn't until I came over to MDC that I realized not everyone turned their children around as soon as possible.









Now, I definately would have kept him RF longer than I did.


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

My DD was a pretty good car seat screamer as well, but we worked with her on it. Turns out, it was just a phase, and she outgrew it by around 18 months. Once she started being able to entertain herself, she did a lot better.

Now we take long trips a few times a year, and she just sits back there and plays the whole time.

She is 3 years and 2.5 months, and is perfectly happy RF. I do hate installing her car seat RF, though. If she keeps on her current growth curve, she wont hit 35lbs until 4.5-5 years. That's cool. The longer the better.


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## Tari Mithrandir (Sep 22, 2008)

I think a big part of it is that they are told to turn them, or rather... Informed they can turn them, and information that they don't have to/shouldn't is not forthcoming. One of those things society stresses as a big milestone and something you want to happen OMG NOW! (DH is still having trouble with this. He knows safety is better rear facing, but still says he can't wait to turn her and be able to see her and talk to her, etc. I told him he is not supposed to see her, he is supposed to see the road







And if he wants to see her, I'll get my licence and drive and he can sit in the back. To which I got a big ol' No







) You know kids can't grow up fast enough in North America (they have to, so we can complain about how fast it went by and why they don't stay little longer







)

Example: DD had her 1 year well visit at 13 months, and they started to tell me I could turn her forward and then stopped and said "Well, not yet, she's still only 19 lbs, but soon right?







" and I said "Uh... No, she still fits in her bucket-" to which I was interrupted with "She does? What kind? (Keyfit 30) Oh well, she'll be out of that in 2 weeks surely!" to which I finished with "If you think so, but she'll be going into a true fit and rear facing to 35 lbs." to which I received a look that made me think I had 2 heads








And for the record, we got another 5 weeks out of it


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## gsd1amommy (Apr 6, 2007)

eager to FF...

The puking, the screaming, the crying, the kicking, again, the puking!
Did I say puking?
I didn't turn him until he was at the weight limit for his seat, though.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
Yep, a combo of everything mentioned. but mostly, they just don't know. Most parents dont equate FFing with..letting your kid play with a rattlesnake in the middle of a freeway surrounded by knives..which is about how dangerous it is. I know that *I* didn't know. which is why dd FFed at 8 months old when she outgrew her carseat rearfacing. Now that i do know, it's just a given. Ds won't be FFing until he is 35 (or more!) pounds or has exceeded the height limit on the tallest seats.

No, trying to drive with a screaming carsick child is a little more dangerous, IMO, than forward facing and neither is anywhere near what you described...but it was a nice visual.LOL

I'm eager to ff because I hate when they scream. There are studies showing that rear-facing is dangerous in rear-end collisions, so you can find a study pretty much supporting anything you want when it comes to safety.....except maybe you can't find one supporting putting your baby in the middle of the hwy, with knives and rattlesnakes....maybe. Pretty soon, we'll be putting helmets on our kids while in the car.


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## katie9143 (Oct 3, 2006)

love hearing everyones stories







even tho dd wasnt even 2.5 when she maxed out her marathon rf limit, she is a good 3' tall and honestly could pass for a 4 yr old......i got similar comments about her rfing. i dont mind them, as most everyone here i use it as an opportunity to educate. i am astounded at the ppl who really dont seem to care. im the type of person that loves to learn about new research, different techniques, etc to make all aspects of my family's life safer and more efficient. i just dont get some ppl...

i actually hadnt heard about this new seat that rfs to 40lbs and if i hadnt just spent $300 on a new frontier (to replace our backup scenera that she is about 5 lbs from outgrowing), i might have considered it







i thought the frontier would be our safest bet given how fast dd seems to be growing!!


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## katie9143 (Oct 3, 2006)

oh and i do sympathize with those whose kiddies have motion sickness


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## Tari Mithrandir (Sep 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katie9143* 

i actually hadnt heard about this new seat that rfs to 40lbs and if i hadnt just spent $300 on a new frontier (to replace our backup scenera that she is about 5 lbs from outgrowing), i might have considered it







i thought the frontier would be our safest bet given how fast dd seems to be growing!!

If your daughter is tall, she wouldn't fit in the MyRide anyway, it has a short shell


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chaoticzenmom* 
No, trying to drive with a screaming carsick child is a little more dangerous, IMO, than forward facing and neither is anywhere near what you described...but it was a nice visual.LOL

I'm eager to ff because I hate when they scream. There are studies showing that rear-facing is dangerous in rear-end collisions, so you can find a study pretty much supporting anything you want when it comes to safety.....except maybe you can't find one supporting putting your baby in the middle of the hwy, with knives and rattlesnakes....maybe. Pretty soon, we'll be putting helmets on our kids while in the car.

Rear and rear-offset crashes only account for 4% of accidents. I'd rather my child be 500% safer in 96% of accidents









I sympathize with the pukers and the screamers--and I MIGHT consider turning after 2 years old, if no other alternative therapies worked before then.







But even with a puker/screamer, 2 would still be my limit.

Both my 2.5yo and my 11mo are still rear-facing, and will be until the limits (or age 4) (unless I import a TWE







).


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

There are no studies that show RF'ing in a rear-end crash is dangerous. And there are plenty showing it's safer


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Well, I wasn't/am not eager to turn my kids around, I still can't fathom rearfacing to 35lbs, seriously, my daugher will be like, at least 49" before she hits 35lbs...she has been 34lbs for over 18 months now and she will be 7 in September. Travis might get closer, since he is shorter than her/weighs more than her at every milestone, but he'll still probably be at least 5 1/2 probably closer to 6 before he hits 35lbs, and Kincaid was 29lbs at 4, but he was also 43" and has a LONG torso and didn't fit rearfacing in his boulevard at that point.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chaoticzenmom* 
No, trying to drive with a screaming carsick child is a little more dangerous, IMO, than forward facing and neither is anywhere near what you described...but it was a nice visual.LOL

I'm eager to ff because I hate when they scream. *There are studies showing that rear-facing is dangerous in rear-end collisions*, so you can find a study pretty much supporting anything you want when it comes to safety.....except maybe you can't find one supporting putting your baby in the middle of the hwy, with knives and rattlesnakes....maybe. Pretty soon, we'll be putting helmets on our kids while in the car.

Do you have links for this?


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I was happy to ff when my dd was young because she was able to see more of what was going on that way and it made her very happy. The whole time she was rf was miserable for all of us.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

As the mother of a screamer, I am totally sympathetic. And to the parents of the pukers, my heart goes out to you! We all make the best decisions we can with what we have to work with. And if my child was violently car sick (my brother was, so I do get this) I would also turn my child before the max weight.

Now, that said, there is NO data to indicate that rear facing is dangerous in rear end collisions. That is just not true. There are some very compelling reasons to turn your child, in a minority of cases. Safety risks from rear facing is NOT one of them. Sure, it is possible that in a severe rear end collision your child maybe would have been safer if they were FFing, but we know from data (depending on whose you look at) that frontal collisions account for 92 to 96% of collisions, and that the most severe collisions are side impact. The chance of a severe rear end collision being the one that YOU are in, is not likely.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
Also, the front seat passenger got a lot more leg room, which for us (5'10" and 6'1" in a small sedan) is no small matter.

nak

dh cannot sit in the passenger seat & I have my knees crammed against the dash while turned somewhat sideways when i sit there - sitting behind the driver would not be better.

we are literally having to buy a larger vehicle to makev rfing work safely for all of us (right now my safety is compromised when I have to sit so close to the airbag & jammed against the dash).

rfing may be safer (which is why we're doing it) but it is a major pia. as most people don't have the facts the pia factor is more than enough to make one excited to switch.


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

With my younger 2, we turned them forward facing when they started to be able to rock the car seat by kicking the seat back... and I had those suckers installed pretty tightly... that said, they were both about 18 months old when we turned them ff.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lifeguard* 
nak

dh cannot sit in the passenger seat & I have my knees crammed against the dash while turned somewhat sideways when i sit there - sitting behind the driver would not be better.

we are literally having to buy a larger vehicle to makev rfing work safely for all of us (right now my safety is compromised when I have to sit so close to the airbag & jammed against the dash).

rfing may be safer (which is why we're doing it) but it is a major pia. as most people don't have the facts the pia factor is more than enough to make one excited to switch.

That's why we turned DD ff at 1 year. DH could not get into the car and I was tired of driving separately everywhere we went. I wanted to go as a family.

We turned DS#1 at 1 year, because he was screamer. And turning him did help.

And, we just didn't know any better. We went with the information we were given by our pedi, family, friends, and the law.

Now we have a mini van and we have different information, so DS#2 will stay rfing much longer.

When you know better, you do better.


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## cherimoya (Mar 23, 2008)

turned dd once she turned 1 and 26lbs. I am educated about the dangers etc of both ff & rf and basically I think driving EVERYWHERE with a screaming/blubbering/puking child is MORE dangerous! And you know when I only had one child, ds, I remember not understanding why my friend's kid cried in the car all the time etc...then I had dd and I understood, I don't think YOU can really understand the anxiety of driving around with a screaming child (not just yelling, I mean it sounds like she's got someone strangling her and she's about to choke on her blubbering saliva!) until you actually have to do it!


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

I knew that RFing was safer but we switched dd as soon as she hit the milestones. She was not (and still is not) happy in the car and it was very hard to comfort her when she was backwards. Turns out she is very prone to carsickness. Now she is old enough to tell us that and can even manage a baggie for puking. But before 1 yo she could not tell us that so we did not know. All we knew, is that car trips were awful and flipping her forward made it a little easier. At least I could make eye contact with her when she was miserable









However, she is nearly 6 and still harnessed


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## katie9143 (Oct 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cherimoya* 
turned dd once she turned 1 and 26lbs. I am educated about the dangers etc of both ff & rf and basically I think driving EVERYWHERE with a screaming/blubbering/puking child is MORE dangerous! And you know when I only had one child, ds, I remember not understanding why my friend's kid cried in the car all the time etc...then I had dd and I understood, I don't think YOU can really understand the anxiety of driving around with a screaming child (not just yelling, I mean it sounds like she's got someone strangling her and she's about to choke on her blubbering saliva!) until you actually have to do it!

yes, my dd was exactly this until she was around 14 mos old, unless i planned all my trips around her naps (an sometimes that backfired too). at the time i was also living just outside boston, where the traffic is just unreal and often unpredictable. she was so much worse too when the car was stopped in traffic instead of moving. not sure what happened, but something clicked and she got a good 50% better - right around 14 mos i would say. i never considered ffing her tho. for me, it wasnt a solution.

she does enjoy ffing much more now that she has maxed out her rfing limit BUT that definitely wont convince me to ff any other children earyl IF we decide to have them (i laugh at the BIG IF).


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## katie9143 (Oct 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katie9143* 
yes, my dd was exactly this until she was around 14 mos old, unless i planned all my trips around her naps (an sometimes that backfired too). at the time i was also living just outside boston, where the traffic is just unreal and often unpredictable. she was so much worse too when the car was stopped in traffic instead of moving. not sure what happened, but something clicked and she got a good 50% better - right around 14 mos i would say. i never considered ffing her tho. for me, it wasnt a solution.

she does enjoy ffing much more now that she has maxed out her rfing limit BUT that definitely wont convince me to ff any other children earyl IF we decide to have them (i laugh at the BIG IF).

eta : i was THAT woman parked in the back of the parking lot or parked on the side of the rd nursing her child ALL the time


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## dexlor (Jan 28, 2008)

I just posted a new thread on this. Just put 14 mo. in FF when she hit 21lbs. The carseat was a gift (and is ONLY FF) and we can't really afford to get a new one. But a friend sent an article about keeping child RR as long as possible. But we loved being able to see her. She loved looking at us in the mirror. She has leg room and so do we now. I am so torn. It's not even about a developmental milestone. I just read here too though about nursing in the carseat...which I still do on long trips. Will be really hard if she's FF.


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## aileen (Jan 23, 2006)

mother of pukers, here, just wanted to say i do know "better", but me unbuckled to sweep the mouth of the rear facing puker, or pulling over in a panic, trying not to look in the baby mirror but concentrate on my rear view mirror, was not safer. we'd get at most 15 - 20 minutes with sea bands and homeopathics. now we get at least 45 (at almost 2 and ff) our 6 year old is ff in a harness and will still puke almost every long car ride if she's not wearing sea bands. luckily (and i large part because of this...), we are mostly on bike - a whole 'nother can of safety worms.
i was eager - but not ignorant.


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

I dunno... My 4yo is still RF'ing! He's only 23lbs and 33in tall so he'll be RF'ing until he gets his license.









We had a 6mo FF'ing at a seat check last week... Mom had no idea it was dangerous or that there was another type of seat between the infant seat and FF'ing seat.







Babe left in a RF'ing Scenera.


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## Aufilia (Jul 31, 2007)

We were eager to FF because our car is tiny and DH couldn't even fit in the front seat when she was RF. I barely fit, and I'm only 5'4", my knees almost touched the dash and I never felt safe. We waited until 15 months, though. Then we had to drive cross-country for a funeral and I just couldn't take 12 hours mashed in the car like that.

We really want to buy a larger car so we can RF longer this time, but I'm getting laid off so that's kind of up in the air.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aufilia* 
We were eager to FF because our car is tiny and DH couldn't even fit in the front seat when she was RF. I barely fit, and I'm only 5'4", my knees almost touched the dash and I never felt safe. We waited until 15 months, though. Then we had to drive cross-country for a funeral and I just couldn't take 12 hours mashed in the car like that.

We really want to buy a larger car so we can RF longer this time, but I'm getting laid off so that's kind of up in the air.









There was probably a way to install your seat more upright. I can install our blvds in our Civic and still have plenty of room for the front seat passenger. It took me a couple of tries to figure it out at first though.

-Angela


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## fljen (Oct 8, 2004)

With our first son we didn't know any better and were excited to turn him around so he could see out more.

With our second one we wanted to keep him rearfacing but he hit the weight limit way before his first birthday, was mega chunky, and we ended up using a tether for extra support. However, two weeks after we turned him ff we got into a major accident which almost cost my family their lives and the only reason that he didn't get shredded by flying rear window glass was because he was facing forward. We were hit so hard our rear window exploded across a four lane road.


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## beru (Nov 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fljen* 
With our second one we wanted to keep him rearfacing but he hit the weight limit way before his first birthday, was mega chunky, and we ended up using a tether for extra support. ...

Wow, your baby was over 30lbs "way before" 12 months? I never thought about something like that happening because my kids are average to small size. To the car seat experts out there. What do you do in this situation? I know there are rear-facing seats that go up to 35lbs but what would you do if your 12 month old were bigger than that? I guess you have to face them forward, right? I suppose that would be a very rare situation, though...


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
Wow, your baby was over 30lbs "way before" 12 months? I never thought about something like that happening because my kids are average to small size. To the car seat experts out there. What do you do in this situation? I know there are rear-facing seats that go up to 35lbs but what would you do if your 12 month old were bigger than that? I guess you have to face them forward, right? I suppose that would be a very rare situation, though...

I always wondered this. I know a few people who's babies are complete chunks (so cute!) and were 30-35 way before a year too. Too bad I never thought to ask them what they do about car seats.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
Wow, your baby was over 30lbs "way before" 12 months? I never thought about something like that happening because my kids are average to small size. To the car seat experts out there. What do you do in this situation? I know there are rear-facing seats that go up to 35lbs but what would you do if your 12 month old were bigger than that? I guess you have to face them forward, right? I suppose that would be a very rare situation, though...

It is rare, and unfortunately, there is no good answer. Now, we would recommend the Graco MyRide that just came out with a 40# rear-facing limit. If the child exceeds that, the choices are to illegally import a Swedish seat at a cost of ~$500+, turn the child forward-facing (which is also illegal in any state with a proper-use clause, since no forward-facing seat can legally be used before the child is one year old), or exceed the rear-facing limit (and yes, that's illegal too in a state that requires proper use).


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## Peppermint Poppies (Jan 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *beru* 
Wow, your baby was over 30lbs "way before" 12 months? I never thought about something like that happening because my kids are average to small size. To the car seat experts out there. What do you do in this situation? I know there are rear-facing seats that go up to 35lbs but what would you do if your 12 month old were bigger than that? I guess you have to face them forward, right? I suppose that would be a very rare situation, though...

Not so rare in Australia. There are no carseats available here that rear-face past 12kgs (26/27 lbs). I turned my DS ff at 12 months, which was a few weeks AFTER he reached the maximum rf weight limit. I would much have preferred to leave him rf for a lot longer, but I wasn't prepared to exceed the recommendations of our carseat. I'm hoping DD will be a little more petite, although both of them were nearly 11lbs born, so I'm not holding my breath.


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Wow, 26lbs is like 50th percentile for an 18 month old boy...so even 100% average kids would have to go forward by 18 months, it's 96th percentile for a 1 year old boy, so not even off the charts big.


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## sarajane (Oct 20, 2004)

I'm one who had two screamers. My son thankfully is very happy in the car so who knows how long he will stay RF. He is also smaller.

My first screamed so bad that quite often we just didn't go. People would actually get really angry at us for turning down an invite that was over an hour away. They were like, "That's dumb babies sleep in the car, I never heard of a baby crying in a car...."







That wasn't fun to deal with. We were like, too bad so sad we are staying home. It was always something dumb and unnecessary. We saw them all the time as it was. I wasn't going to put my baby and myself through that for no good reason. They even got mad when we didn't want to drive 5 hours away. No thank you. My first screamed so much before we put her forward facing. She was also big for her age so that helped.

I am certainly not ignorant about bad things happening as you can see from my sig. I know it can happen to me, it has and I have no desire for it to again.

Since it has I have heard of worse too that make me think no car seat is safe. (FYI my daughter didn't die in the car, I'd rather not talk about details really) Anyway, a lady my DH works with had her kids both buckled in their seat belts and the car started to roll down the hill while she went around to get in. Both children died. That wasn't even very fast at all, and they were properly restrained. It can happen anytime, anywhere despite your best efforts. They weren't even on the road yet, so, so, so sad.
















On the rear facing thing, it seems like it would smash the car seat into the back of the seat then drop it back down. I know some seats have a bar over the top for that but mine doesn't. Maybe there is a video of why it is safer RF, maybe it will make me feel better.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

I cannot even imagine.

Here are some videos from youtube (some mention child death, so it may be triggering)

The Importance of Rear Facing (alot of fluff but shows RF vs FF crash tests)

Joel's story

FF vs RF crash test


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## abarnes (Jun 6, 2009)

We switched baby #1 to FF when he was 9mths old. He was one of those that got car sick and well, we didn't know any better back then. With #2, we moved him FF when he was 1 (was plenty over 20lbs) and thought we did good by waiting until the "right time". DD was my smallest child and also spent the longest time RF, which was until she reached the RF limit in her Decathlon. My youngest boy is 9mths and RF, he will stay that way until he hit the limit in the Decathlon. We have large kids, height and weight, so I don't doubt he will be FF before 2yo.


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## sarajane (Oct 20, 2004)

Wow, that makes me want to put our 2 year old rear facing again. I guess I would be scared about her legs being so long still. I don't know if she will go for it (I don't know if DH will be hard to sway if I decide it is best). Is it really ok to have a child who is 34.5 inches tall rear facing? I won't do anything unless I am sure!

I have been shopping for a new car seat for her as well and I know little brother will need a convertible one before a year old. So, that is how I found this thread. My aim here is to be safer all around. We are coming up on July 13 and so my nerves are shot again. That anniversary is a hard one. I think that day I will simply be at home hugging my children all day and feel very grateful when that day passes. The first anniversary wasn't this hard because DD2 was just a baby, now she is the same age her sister was when she passed. Anyway, anyway, I'm gonna go see if I can find more on this issue.


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

...


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarajane* 
Is it really ok to have a child who is 34.5 inches tall rear facing? I won't do anything unless I am sure!

Yes, it really is







My almost four year old is over 40 inches tall and she is very comfortable rear-facing!









ETA: My youngest is 34 inches as well and will be rear-facing for at least 2 more years (she's very skinny, 21 pounds).


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## sarajane (Oct 20, 2004)

Ok that's good news, but if my car seat says rear facing up to 35 pounds, then once she is past that she has to be forward. Correct? She is already at 31 pounds! I just weighed her today. I still need to go look at those car seats you suggested in my thread about buying a new one...going now.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Yes, that is correct. However, there is now a seat on the market that rear-faces to 40 pounds (the Graco MyRide).







BTW, you can click on my kids' names in my siggy and see pics of bigger kids RF'ing (they are 4 and 2).


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## DahliaRW (Apr 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarajane* 
Ok that's good news, but if my car seat says rear facing up to 35 pounds, then once she is past that she has to be forward. Correct? She is already at 31 pounds! I just weighed her today. I still need to go look at those car seats you suggested in my thread about buying a new one...going now.

Yes. And she must have 1" of hard plastic shell above her head. If not, she's too tall to rf in that seat (regardless of weight).


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