# Weird Question about Co-sleeping and Nudity



## ex-stasis (Nov 29, 2004)

Hi everyone. I am due in June with my first and I have a silly question that I've been thinking about for a while. DH and I usually sleep naked. Are we going to have to or should we stop doing this once the babe is born? What does everyone else do? I have sort of conflicting feelings about this. On one hand I think that it's probably perfectly natural and not that big a deal, but on the other hand I don't want to traumatize anyone!









Any other naked sleepers out there? What did you do once the babe was born?


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## Past_VNE (Dec 13, 2003)

Congratulations on your impending babe. Besides the sleepiness I have, I've never been soooo happy in my life. Our son is an absolute joy and I already can't imagine life without him.

Oh, yeah....you wanted to know about sleeping...being sidetracked by my excitement. DH and I have always slept nude. Now, we all sleep together and will continue to do so until someone feels uncomfortable with the situation. DH and I are both very nude-enjoying folks, so I doubt it will change for a LONG time. DS will probably be in his own bed by then...at least I guess so. I see nothing wrong with nude co-sleeping at most any age, especially if you talk with the child about when it's appropriate to be nude and when it's not, plus good and bad touching and about how parents touch (to a small degree, anyway.) I'm a big fan of talking to kids like adults as much as possible.

Our babe, Jett, is only 6 weeks old, so we haven't had these issues with him yet. But, that's how we intend to handle it.

I look forward to hearing the comments from those MDCers with older babes/kids.

Welcome to MDC, (a little late, sorry.)


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## farmer mama (Mar 9, 2004)

Congrats on your pregnancy and another belated welcome to MDC! I completely agree with you Past-VNE, as long as everyone is comfortable with the situation, I think it is fine. I also think it is good as the kids grow to talk about touch, and what is and isn't appropriate. We have a 2 year old and a 5 year old, both of which are very comfortable with nudity in themselves and among others. But as soon as it became an issue I would respect my kid's wishes (but by that time they will most likely be in their own bed so it would be as much of a concern what mom and dad aren't wearing). Dd has her own bed (which ds starts the night in, until I come to bed), and she sometimes is nude, but often in jammies for warmth. Also, my parents have always been night-time nudists, and I coslept and after I was in my own bed I continued to get into their bed in the mornings for years. I never felt funny about it.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

I don't think there's anything wrong with it if you're all comfortable. We often, but not always, slept nude before Evie was born, but since then I tend to sleep in a bra and sometimes underwear and dh tends to wear boxers. I found that I needed the bra for a little extra support when I was first breastfeeding and now it serves the important purpose of stopping/discouraging her from twidling the other nipple while she nurses on one side.


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## ex-stasis (Nov 29, 2004)

Thanks everyone. I kind of figured that if we _made_ it natural then it would be natural, at least until our dc is older. We'll worry about that when we get there! I don't think that kids being exposed (a little bit) to the sexuality of their parents is a bad thing. When my sister and I were little my parents weren't very overtly affectionate with each other, so it always seemed weird to me when they were (and they did seem to get more affectionate once my sister and I were out of the house!







) but I had a boyfriend in hs whose parents were very overtly affectionate and I thought it was so sweet how they would cuddle while watching tv or whatever. I think I'm getting a little bit off topic, but my point is that probably the intimate skin to skin contact is good.

Oh yes, and thanks for all the welcomes! I love these boards already.


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

At first I slept in the nude since I was already topless to breastfeed, but living in Maine during the winter we tend to wear more clothes









My husband started wearing pajama pants to bed when our son was born, I never asked him about it but I assume he was just more comfortable that way.

Now that our son is 18 months old, we both wear at least pajama pants to bed because he can get a bit grabby/kicky so it's more out of self-preservation than modesty. Most nights I wear a shirt because that one shoulder that sticks out above the sheet gets COLD!

- Jen


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

My dh sleeps in his undies but I'd always slept naked. When my son was born I (cosleeping too) continued sleeping naked until he was about 1... then his little feed kept trying to crawl back in (YIKES)... plus I was still so fat (and it had been a year- so no excuses applied anymore!) I didn't want him or my husband to see my fat body... so I pj'd up! I wear my husbands' boxers and a tank top on most nights now.


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy*
When my son was born I (cosleeping too) continued sleeping naked until he was about 1... then his little feed kept trying to crawl back in (YIKES)

Hahaha, I hear you! Those cold little toes in places they should never go! :LOL

- Jen


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## MoMommy (Oct 8, 2004)

We pretty much always slept naked before dd came. It's not something we ever discussed but at some point we started wearing underwear. If something happens during the night and we lose our underwear







it's not a big deal. I think we both just feel more comfortable with it on, like others have said, because of those little roaming feet!


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

No I don't think nakedness is a big deal, and I certainly don't want my daughters to think I'm ashamed of my naked body for any reason at all. BUT, I do sleep in clothes because when my first was little, if the breast were exposed, she'd want to nurse, constantly. Covering up meant I got a little more sleep at night


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stafl*
No I don't think nakedness is a big deal, and I certainly don't want my daughters to think I'm ashamed of my naked body for any reason at all. BUT, I do sleep in clothes because when my first was little, if the breast were exposed, she'd want to nurse, constantly. Covering up meant I got a little more sleep at night









Boy, I wish that worked with my son...he will try like heck to either rip my clothes off or suck the milk through my shirt/bra/whatever!

He is very persistent









- Jen


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## *Jessica* (Jun 10, 2004)

I don't think it's a big deal, either. But I sleep with undies on these days because of those little toes that like to creep to warm places. That's quite a shock in the middle of the night! LOL


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessica & Nikolai*
I don't think it's a big deal, either. But I sleep with undies on these days because of those little toes that like to creep to warm places. That's quite a shock in the middle of the night! LOL

I used to sleep nude too, and this is exactly why I don't anymore. I was so tired of fighting off the toes grabbing my hair, finally, undies went on for bed. Then the cold shoulder and near constant leaking made the shirt necessary. I can't wait to have naked sleeping back. It's so not about modesty, it's self preservation!


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## mamaofthreeboys (Dec 16, 2003)

LOL about the cold toes finding warm places









Yep sometimes I just have to sleep in shorts for this reason sigh.....it fine though


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## achintyasamma (Aug 4, 2004)

we sleep naked some nights, clothed others and most nights i wear just a t-shirt because i have a problem with someone twiddling nipples in his sleep, and it isn't ds!


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

I don't think nudity is a problem at all. But we do sleep with some kind of clothes on because dh was uncomfortable with it. I guess I can understand that because, with men, they never know when they are going to get a woody in the middle of the night and, with a snuggly child, that can make for a very awkward situation for everyone.

I think the naked body is beautiful though. I don't think it is healthy of our society to teach children to be ashamed or embarrassed by it.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *edamommy*
I didn't want him or my husband to see my fat body... so I pj'd up!

I don't mean to offend (feel free to tell me to mind my own business), but this statement makes me very sad. I'm what's clinically considered to be morbidly obese, but I LOVE the feel of my DP's naked skin against mine, I wouldn't let any amount of modesty or self-hatred prevent me from experiencing it (and I've had a lot of both), and in fact, allowing myself to be naked around him has helped me to feel better about myself (because he doesn't find me unappealing - and makes that clear!) and therefore make healthier (more loving) choices in regards to my weight.

I hope that, as someone who as previously enjoyed sleeping naked, you are able to overcome the self- (or fat-?) hatred that makes you feel the need to cover up even in your sleep.

For the OP: Naked co-sleeping? Ewe betcha! If that's how you sleep best before baby, it's worth at least trying AB (after baby). As others have pointed out, practicalities may get in the way (kicking, hair-grabbing, nipple twiddling, etc), but you can either learn to live with them or make alterations to your sleeping habits as you encounter those issues. (My sister, although not a co-sleeper, is a confirmed nudist when home alone, and rather than putting clothes on when her son became of the right height that "hair pulling" took on a whole new meaning, just taught him that "hands don't go there without permission!" - and that he never had permission.







)


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## cyrusmama (Oct 17, 2004)

We did before and both do sometimes now, but lately his foot keeps ending up in my belly button :LOL may have to re-think the nakedness


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## ex-stasis (Nov 29, 2004)

Well, it definitely seems from all your posts that practicality is more of an issue than modesty or propriety or whatever! And I didn't even think of all the practical considerations when I made the OP! So I guess it looks like we'll just have to wait and see. Thanks for the input evereyone.


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## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

....


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

Yes, the birth necessitates all these clothes unless you're going to make a mess. I have always slept with underwear and at least have to have that or I don't sleep well. I don't like feeling wet.







: I also seem to sleep better with a shirt of some sort. Dh has always found this strange. I like the feeling of sleeping nude but my whole life I have ended up putting a shirt on in the middle of the night, or not sleeping well. Our A/C is on almost all year so we sleep with comforters and some kind of clothes.







Or the house will rot from humidity.

At any rate, I see no problem with children seeing their parents nude or cuddling with them in the nude. Often older children are a bit uncomfortable and you can handle it how you choose when the time comes. But I think those consistently exposed to a healthy nude environment never have that embarrassed edge. One of my second grade students belonged to this Japanese religion so she and her family had the family bath ritual every evening. It was interesting to see how she and her brothers never had that weird "ooooohhhhh," attitude toward elementary silliness. I was hoping to have this comfort level with my dd but somehow we haven't managed it. Maybe we'll get more natural with ds.


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

Oh, I forgot to mention that my ds, currently 8 months, often sleeps *better* when I am shirtless, and nurses less. He really enjoys nursing with both of them and my whole chest right there, I think, and this seems to send him into a deeper sleep. I hate nipple twiddling from anyone anywhere but I don't mind a flat little hand patting them.


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## PurplePixiePooh (Aug 5, 2003)

Quote:

One thing I haven't seen mentioned is the hilarity that ensues when baby finds DADDY'S exposed nipple in the middle of the night! My dh never slept shirtless again after she clamped down on him one night.
Oh my goodness! That is soo funny!!

My little ones are such gymnasts that DH has often joked about wearing a cup :LOL He was the nekked sleeper in the family but since being kicked and all that has changed. Just see what works for you all as time goes on.


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## Zannalyn (Jan 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ex-stasis*
On one hand I think that it's probably perfectly natural and not that big a deal, but on the other hand I don't want to traumatize anyone!

We think that, too. If/when someone is uncomfortable, we'll change.
we still sleep naked. DS is really a nudist and doesn't like dressing for winter. Come summer he'll probably sleep in just a diaper, and be thrilled.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Well I hate to sleep nude so that's not really an issue for me. But I don't think I'd have a problem with it, esp with a small baby. Once they get to toddler hood I might rethink it ... might.

I want my son to feel very comfortable with his body and I have no problem letting him see me nude, etc. So if you are most comfortable that way, I don't really see the problem.


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## meco (Mar 1, 2004)

I slept nude especially when nursing a baby all night long....

I now sleep in panties and a tank top, sometimes nude if I am hot. BUt my 2 yo likes to pinch booties so I cover it up :LOL


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## catnip (Mar 25, 2002)

Personally, I am driven crazy by nightclothes. That was pretty much the worst part of our hospital stay last week! DH and I are cosleeping with our brand new baby girl, and I am of the opinion that wearing clothes to bed unless it is cold or for reasons of practicality is silly. But that's with a six day old. My opinion may change. Baby wears a diaper and a t-shirt to help maintain body heat in the winter night, we pull the comforter up to waist high, cover baby with a receiving blanket and our shoulders and her with a lightweight cotton throw. She snuggles up to my front, Dad snuggles up to my back and we all sleep as long as she lets us!
I also am a big fan of skinswimming, and I feel that swimwear eroticizes the body more than just swimming naked. I'm not a "run around all the time naked" type, but I find that our culture's obsession with covering up every second leads to poor body-esteem. Beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes.

Edited to add: I just grab a cloth diaper to absorb the milk leaking when she is nursing.


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## mother_sunshine (Nov 25, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *catnip*
I find that our culture's obsession with covering up every second leads to poor body-esteem. Beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes.











And congratulations!


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Hey!
Congrats on your soon to be new arrival. I didn't read through other responses, but here's my experience:

I used to sleep nude. I started having to wear a nursing top or bra to sleep when my milk came in to give me some support. (I'm chesty to begin with, so maybe this experience is not universal.)

Later I wore a bra to sleep to stop milk from leaking all over. After that I had to wear a shirt to stop dd from twiddling one boob while she nursed the other (woke up in a puddle once over this.)

Later had to wear a shirt to stop all night booby grabbing, and after that had to wear pajamas to stop dd from playing with my pubes, sticking her finger in my belly button (a BIG favorite) and, of course, twiddling nipples as I slept.

Your dh make not mind the chest hair twirling at first, but babies hands and always grabbing at something, and their fingernails are long. He may eventually chose to wear clothes.

Some people don't mind being stroked while they sleep, but it bugs the heck out of me, so I'm a pajama wearer now.

There's my story.


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## catnip (Mar 25, 2002)

Back to the body image thing... I just scrape under the line for morbid obesity after a 125 pound weight loss. It has taken alot of concerted effort to learn to love my body, both at nearly 400 pounds and now at 270 or so with baggy skin. I think that if I had loved my body more when I was a just slightly overweight teenager, I might not have gotten involved in the emotionally abusive relationship that contributed to all that weight gain. It took 5 years with someone who loves me and my body however it happens to be before I could lose that weight. I hate the way my tummy and breasts sag, but love how flexible and energetic I am. (and so does DH) Plus, I have Kaia now, which would never have happened before I lost weight. My parents never made me feel bad about my body, but watch out for those grandparents! That's where I ran into trouble.


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

I sleep naked, my husband sleeps in boxers.

My kids, 8,3 and 1, have no issue with nudity at all. We're naked a lot of the time. In Florida, this is possible.

As my older child transitions into adolescence, we'll be flexible; if he's uncomfortable then we'll change it!








Good thread!


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## our veggie baby (Jan 31, 2005)

I think whatever everyone is comfy with is how it should go....I for instance, have no problem being nude, hanging around the house nude, cooking nude, you name it lol...of course I am still pregnant so she isn't here yet! When our daughter comes though, I think it will be the same routine as it is now--i am much more comfotable being nude than hubby is-- he isn't the type to even walk around nude now as it is, so I don't expect him to change when our daughter is born. Also, as sad as it is, I think it makes a difference to him because she is a girl and the whole thing with society thinking things may be innapropriate when they aren't type thing---which I can understand my hubby feeling that way because the whole world practically, but for a few like us, think iti's *weird* or whatever---

I am not going to force anyone to do anything that is uncomfortable, i just expect it will stay the way it is, my hubby being a bit more *modest* I guess is the word, than I am---
My mom wasn't modest really, and to this day (I am nearly 28) me and my mom see eachother naked different times---if she is showing me some new clothes she bought and is trying them on, or when we change in the summer at her house to go swimming, etc stuff like that, and it is no big deal at all---whreas I have girl friends who are like OMG YOUR MOM STILL SEES YOU NAKED!!!! as if it is the most unnatural thing they have ever heard of....

so hopefully I will raise my daughter to be open and comfortable with her body, while still knowing what is appropriate ad different times etc....just to add, my hubby only feels *weird* about sleeping nude etc,(we are going to cosleep) he is totally okay and comfotable about changing diapers, bathing her, stuff like that....and I think it has more to do with when she becomes aware of things, not like when she is 1 or 2....

I think he is scared of an innocent 4 year old at a family get together "me and daddy sleep NAKED!!!!!!"...which, as sad as it is, would get A LOT of scrutiny from our family...


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I think I made my dh feel wierd for wearing shorts in bed! I have always slept naked. If I wear anything it ends up ripped or strangling me (borrowed pjs at a sleepover once and ripped the shoulder seam







)

He feels more comfortable with himself now that he sleeps naked and he hasn't gone back to shorts despite dd and her little feet.........

I have always used hand pressure to stop leaking - even in my sleep so I have never worn a bra to bed and only put up with knickers to catch the flood of lochia in the early days. Thank goodness for the Mooncup for all the other times!

If you feel comfortable sleeping naked now I don't see why a baby should make you feel less so. Babies skin feels so lovely next to your own. Everyone should experience it.


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## JillChristina (May 24, 2004)

We slept naked before dd and did for quite a while after she arrived. She didn't start co-sleeping full time until she was 8 months old. Dh still sleeps nude and I do when it's warmer. But now that it's cold out, I love my jammies! And I have to say, about roaming toes, even though I have pj bottoms on (no undies), she STILL manages to get her foot in there! What a rude awakening THAT is!









We, too, will go with the flow as far as sleeping nude in the future. If she, or we, start to feel weird about it, we'll make appropriate adjustments.

Congrats on the baby-to-be!









Jill


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## bamamom (Dec 9, 2004)

I have been laughing so hard







yep, I remember those toes, and fingers, and fourteen arms and legs ...... I was always a nude sleeper. I can remember being a toddler and sitting up in the middle of the night and stripping my gown off and throwing it across the room and going back to sleep. I had a few self conscious yrs as a teen, but marriage turned me into a nudist(so says Dh)! I always slept topless and sometimes nude with dd, and usually just stuck a blankie around me to catch leaks. Now that I am preggo, I have to wear a sleep bra to keep the ladies in line!!!Congratulations on your new babe...i'm due 3 days after you.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

My dh use to just sleep in undies but the girls perfered his chest to be in a t-shirt. They didn't like his hair and he hated the hair pulling.

I found a shirt more comfortable and prevented all night nursing or twiddling.


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## sunnylady303 (Sep 17, 2004)

We sleep naked with our 14 month old. It works just fine. The only issue which no one else has mentioned (I think) and it isn't really an issue...is that sometimes if dh doesn't cover up well when Samantha is awake and playful she will make a beeline for what she sees I'm sure as a cool toy that daddy has that she can play with. LOL. It has resulted in some quick cover up and distractions. Of course it is totally innocent but it has made dh a little uncomfortable sometimes. LOL But we haven't seen any reason to change the way we sleep. At least not yet.


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## MommytoMJM (Aug 3, 2004)

We sleep or have slept nude with our dd. I did ask dh to start wearing underwear when dd was around 3 and started using his privates for a play toy......


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## bamamom (Dec 9, 2004)

My dh would positively die if she grabbed his privates!!!I think he would be scarred for life!!!!


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## Tracyn (Feb 1, 2005)

Another Maine Girl here. DH and I have always been nudists (at the house/in bed), and were after DS was born (June 03).

BUT, when DS started moving around and kicking/squirming I had to start wearing underwear to prevent pubic hair pulling (sorry if that's too blunt?!). And, when the nights got colder in early fall (we don't like to keep the heat turned up at night), I had to wear a PJ top (with buttons down the front) to keep from getting cold when DS wants to nurse. DH is still a naked man. DS sleeps in PJs in the winter, and just a diaper and cover in the summer. the warmer the weather, the more nude the family.

Our nudity changes have been more a 'keep warm' adaptation than a 'modesty'/ fear of indecency issue. I think it's fine as long as the discussion is out there, and kids are taught when it's appropriate and when it may not be.

Cheers,
Tracyn
Mom to Dylan, born 01 June 03


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## eminer (Jan 21, 2003)

While pg, I have been hiding my breasts under a shirt, too! It really deters my 3yo (or maybe I should say that an exposed nipple is like a magnet dragging her across the bed).

We sleep naked a lot, still. Dd rooted on dh at first, which was cute, but quickly figured out she wasn't happy with him in this respect.  When she was old enough for me to be







when she "couldn't wait" for me to get off the toilet or something, she would sometimes go to dh and tell him, "I want to nursie!" So he would lift up his shirt and tell her to go ahead. That annoyed dd. "I want to nursie MOMMY!"

If you want to be skin to skin, right after birth, instead of the pad, shirt, bra, etc, you can always put a waterproof thing under you (e.g. chux pad, towel with maybe a wool or fleece blanket underneath it, or whatever).


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Well, when the babies were first born, I had to wear a bra to hold nursing pads in place and panties to hold a pad!!

I wouldn't sleep nude now becase it would make my girls uncomfy if/when they join me during the night. I think I was OK with that until Leah was 2 or 3 years old.


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## ewp11100 (Oct 16, 2003)

i can NOT sleep with clothes on. we all co- sleep naked. when it started getting cold the babe would wake up frequently at night if i didn't put a shirt on him, but otherwise just a diap. i find it totally uncomforable to sleep with clothes on. if it ever becomes a problem for my ds, i guess i'll have to deal with it then. i'm thinking once they get to that point they are looking for privacy and don't want to co-sleep anymore. who knows, it works. i doin't think it's going to screw him up. if anything it will teach him the human body is a natural thing. our cat co-sleeps too he is also naked


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ewp11100*
Our cat co-sleeps too he is also naked









I have a co-sleeping cat too, but he much prefers to sleep in his fur!









I have never been able to sleep naked-- I have to have something covering my thighs because I sweat a lot at night, even when I'm not hot, and I hate when my thighs stick together. I used to sleep in full-out pyjamas, but lately I've just been wearing boxer shorts and no shirt because Julia likes the skin contact at night.

DH started wearing shorts to bed recently, even though he's always been a naked sleeper. He's very concerned about what's appropriate in the eyes of the world at large; there was a child at the school where I used to work whose family was investigated by child services because he told his teacher that he slept with his daddy at night, and the teacher decided that it was "inappropriate" for a kindergarten child to sleep with his parents. DH is real afraid of things like that. He even made me delete all Julia's adorable bath pictures-- anything where she's naked.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llyra*
DH is real afraid of things like that. He even made me delete all Julia's adorable bath pictures-- anything where she's naked.

Oh wow that's sad!







I'm so sorry we live in a world where he feels that's necessary.

I have the greatest pictures of my mom and my older brother, hanging out naked in the bath together (actually, in most of them my mom's wearing a bra - but she's OBVIOUSLY not wearing anything else!) - they're some of the most adorable photos! And this is way pre-digital, so I know they had them developed somewhere.

It makes me so mad and sad to think that some people would 1) have a problem with a parent and a kid being naked together, and 2) would make it the parent's problem! Gah!

Ok, I have to go cool down somewhere. This is not good for my blood pressure!


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## TripkeHughes (Nov 19, 2001)

We are naked sleepers. Ds#1 is in a diaper. #2 is in diaper and jammies. Dh will sleep in the closes he wears that day if he is extra tired. He would however like to be naked.

Didn't read the other posts. Hope that helps.

I figure when my boys start showing signs of modesty, I will honor that.


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