# Things I wish I had done/known and tips about birth and just after...



## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

This morning I was thinking of some of the great tips I got and things that really helped when I had my first son and I thought I should share them and start a thread... Of course, not all of them are perfect for everyone, but here goes...

1.) If you are doing traditional (snail mail) birth announcements, buy them BEFORE the baby is born and address them. In those final days before birth, there is often a lot of sitting around. It is a perfect time to address all the announcements and stamp them and such so after the baby is born, you can fill out the info and pop them in the mail. Lots of time saved.

2.) Get a few nice nightgowns and a nice robe. One for the hospital, one or two for home. DO NOT GET DRESSED when you go home until you are ready to venture out. People will show up after the baby is born for well wishes, dropping off food and gifts, etc. If you greet them dressed and in hostess mode, they tend to stay longer, maybe expect you to do things... If you show up to the door clean and brushed, but in a nightgown and a nice robe, they remember you may need some TLC and they are friendly, but visits are short. Excellent!

3.) Have some cash on you the few days after the birth. Often people will ask if there is anything you need or they can do for you. It is helpful to have a little cash if you feel comfortable asking them to pick up some milk or run to the pharmacy. Or even if you just need to order pizza.

4.) Stock up on trashy/light hearted magazines for labor and after. Do not bring "War and Peace" with you. Bring something you can skim and short snippets to read for down times during labor and for those first few days.

5.) If you don't need lots of gifts for the shower, ask people to bring a healthy meal that can go in the freezer. If you don't have a shower, make a few freezer meals. You will not want to cook after the baby is born.

6.) Set up the nursery before hand. After the baby comes home, life is hectic. That mobile in the box just sits there. You have to run out for batteries for the monitor. You find you got the wrong size sheets. This can be avoided with a weekend of "setting up".

7.) Buy baby first aid things BEFORE the baby comes home. That first upset call to the doctor in the middle of the night and guarenteed they are going to ask for the baby's temperature, give tylenol, etc. It is a lot easier to have that on-hand to start.

8.) GO TO THE DENTIST. GET YOUR HAIR CUT. GET YOUR OIL CHANGED. Do all the little "routine" things that you do for yourself or make any "grown up" appointments now because after the baby is born, these things are MUCH harder to do.

9.) Start going to La Leche League, interview and choose a doctor for the baby, etc. The first time you have any problems with a first born babe, you will need help fast and without knowing what your resources are, it is difficult.

10.) Buy a package of thank-you cards. As soon as you get a gift, write it out just then, mail it. If you have to wait, things get muddled.

11.) Buy a baby scrap book. Keeping track of pregnancy/birth health and baby's milestones is more than just a cute activity. It is a very real possibility that later in your child's life you will be asked about these things, so keeping accurate records from the begining is really helpful.

Anyone else?


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## zoshamosha (Apr 15, 2006)

Thanks for the tips! Those are great. You just reminded me I need to get my driver's license renewed ASAP.


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## hopeandolive (Oct 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alexsam* 
1.) If you are doing traditional (snail mail) birth announcements, buy them BEFORE the baby is born and address them. In those final days before birth, there is often a lot of sitting around. It is a perfect time to address all the announcements and stamp them and such so after the baby is born, you can fill out the info and pop them in the mail. Lots of time saved.

Anyone else?

Great post! I just wanted say that I enjoy doing the photo announcements from drug stores (CVS, Walgreens etc) and obviously you can't get these in advance of baby's arrival, so I buy the "Avery" brand labels that can be preprinted with addresses (also very handy for Christmas cards etc).

I also wanted to add get some stool softener....those first BM's post delivery can be very painful!

And if you plan on nursing you may want to bring your nusing pillow to the hospital, have some Lansinoh cream on hand and nursing pads (disposable or re-usuable)


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

Yes... And menstrual pads


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## crosscat (Mar 18, 2008)

These are really great tips! I'm so glad you started this thread!


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## jencat (Nov 20, 2006)

Keep it coming ladies! I'm going to save this thread!!


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## Mrshawwk (Apr 5, 2006)

Have lots of just plain comfy T shirts ready to go. When your milk comes in you leak all over the place, plus the baby spits on you all the time. If you have a pile of clean shirts handy you can change quickly. If you have black T shirts, the milk leaking won't be as noticeable, especially if you have visitors around.

I like to have a nitelite in my room so I can see the baby at night without harsh light.

A rice sock is nice to abdominal pain from birth or afterpains (which for me were so much worse for 2nd and 3rd children!). Take an old tube sock, fill it with rice and tie a good knot at the end. Then just pop it in the microwave for a couple minutes and it is nice and warm and adjustable for anywhere you need relief.

BIG bras for engorgement!!


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

In addition to pads get some witch hazel and witch hazel pads (in case you are healing a tear or birthed a hemrroid in addition to your new baby).

Stock up on healthy snack foods. I never really had time to fix myself a meal the first month or two when I was home alone with baby so I snacked on not so healthy foods).

I loved my "baby's first year" books. I referred to them constantly so I would know when to call the doc, when to chill out, etc.


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## mkmama (Jul 9, 2006)

BARELY damp a pad...form it to your body, and then freeze it. It will be a great relief to soreness.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

Snacks for at home after are key. Also, some frozen lunch type things... They have them in the healthy stores now... little pizzas, burritos, etc. Once all the relatives left, I had to make lunch for myself... and didn't want to!

Nightlights! Yes!

Also, if there is anything you want "footprinted", take it to the hospital and they will ink them when the do the baby's feet for the certificates. Sometimes there is a sheet in the baby scap book, or if you want it just on nice paper to frame... Bring them and let them know ahead of time and they will foot stamp what you ask







.

Also, for a hospital birth, eat before you go. Many times they don't want you to eat in labor there (dumb, but true). So, either talk it over first with your health care provider to see if they will give you permission to eat during labor in the hospital. If it seems like it will be an issue, make sure to eat before you go.

Also, for the hospital birth, make your spouse/partner pack themselves a meal and snacks. THEY will be hungry and you don't want them dissapearing because they are starving and need to go to the cafeteria. Also, with many hospitals the way they are, have your PARTNER pack an overnight bag, as they can often stay too. If nothing else, they will want a clean shirt and a toothbrush in the hours ahead







.

You may want something sentimental from you (to the baby) in the hospital. Like, for my son, we carried him out of the hospital in a special blanket. We saved our hospital bracelets and the little hat they put the babies in. Think if there is anything you would like to make a keepsake, as it will have meaning if it is there at the birth and fist days.


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

Having a flash back to my brothers birth (almost 9 yrs ago now).

If you are having a hospital birth, check how they expect you to pay(edit: for parking). Some are just a ticket now, but often (specially in short term) they only use loonies or twonies (or, gosh, American money!). Tape the correct change for 24 hours+ under the dash...now!


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## love14 (Aug 3, 2007)

: 1st time mom here no tips just subbing for more great suggestions


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## ChristyM26 (Feb 26, 2006)

Wow... this is awesome. And so well timed!


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hopeandolive* 
And if you plan on nursing you may want to bring your nusing pillow to the hospital, have some Lansinoh cream on hand and nursing pads (disposable or re-usuable)









: and use the Lansinoh after every feeding. Don't wait till your nipples start hurting, like I did. And be aware that it will leave grease stains on bras/t-shirts.

If you're doing a hospital birth, wear the hospital gown till the bleeding backs off a bit. No need to bleed on something you'll have to wash when you get home.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Olive oil on the baby's butt makes meconium WAY more easy to clean off. I mean WAY more easy. Before you put on the first diaper smear some olive oil on there and before you put on any new diapers. Totally worth it.

Also... unless you're doing cloth mama pads, go for the depends. After my first birth, I bled like crazy for days, blood everywhere (TMI, I know). I swore I'd use depends postpartum the next time. They're way more comfortable on a sore perineum than those logs *ahem* pads that they give you in the hospital or birth kit, too.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

ok- let's think... what else...?

I think most people know, but just in case... Don't pack any of your pre-maternity clothes to wear back from the hospital. You will not fit in them. Sweats, maternity pants, a big dress... No regular jeans! Bring underwear that you don't mind getting ruined (there is a lot of blood, that is normal). Bring menstrual pads. The biggest you can get







.

Be prepared that the hospital will want to see your installed carseat before they let the baby go home. It is actually really helpful to install it a week or two before and you can have it inspected by your local police or fire dept. for free who will make sure it is installed properly. Call them and they will tell you when to come in.

Get and pack a diaper bag BEFORE the baby is born (after is just hectic). If nothing else, mosy doctors want a 2 week baby check up. Having a ready diaper bag is one less thing to grapple with in those first few crazy days.

Put an EXTRA SHIRT FOR YOU (and some extra breast pads) in the diaper bag. There is lots of milk and leaking. It's nice to have a clean shirt.

If you choose to vaccinate, they will probably give you a little book in the hospital. to keep your own records of vaccination. Make sure you get the vaccine name, the date, the lot number, the pharma company that made it and the name of the doctor that oversaw the vax and take this booklet to every doctors appointment where the baby will get a new vax and require them to fill it out every time. Keep this in a safe place with your records.

The hospital will most likely give you a diaper bag with formula samples. If you will not need these, there are places that you can donate them (food banks, organizations that help breast cancer survivors, organizations for HIV infected mothers, etc).

Treat yourself to something and maybe drop some not-so-subtle hints to your partner that something sweet and kind in recognition of becoming a mother would be welcome. There are some places that have special limo packages home from the hospital. Or flowers. Or a present. A little something sentimental for your partner from you is also nice







. Remember, it is the birth of a baby, but it is also a huge change in your life as well. A little something to celebrate and mark the moment for mommy and/or daddy is nice.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I feel like we need a lazy mama list here, too.

I have never been a scrap book/baby book person. I cannot imagine a reason why I would need to know EXACTLY when DS cut his first tooth or took his first steps - if there's an issue with a developmental delay or other health problem, the ballpark figure will do. It's not like it's a question the bank is going to ask me.

Cosleeping reduces the amount of furniture you have to shuffle and maximizes your sleep! We did not set up the actual nursery until DS had been home for two weeks. No, none of those cute mobiles we got as gifts have ever been hung, but it's not like we *used* the nursery for the first month, really.

There is no need to get "nice" nightgowns to wear in front of visitors. A bathrobe splattered with spit up or breast milk will send the same message, and you almost certainly already have a bathrobe. (On a serious note, some people find hanging around in their pajamas depressing, and those people should get dressed. Clothes do not automatically equal "hostess mode.")

"Helpful" visitors are sometimes the most exhausting kind. People who come over to do things for you often need instruction and guidance: where do the plates go? how do you sort your silverware? People who bring meals may leave you with a sink full of dishes. Even people who you'd think should know better are sometimes so blitzed by the presence of the baby that they wind up being demanding guests. There is no need to stand for this. Feel free to begin explaining to people that what you need - what you really, really need - is to watch a silly movie and have a margarita, and that the best way for them to enable that is to hold down the other end of your sofa and make sure the spare margarita glass doesn't get lonely. Promise not to quiz them on the movie, so that they can stare at the baby if they like.

If you have a hospital birth, sneak out as many of the post-partum cold pack pads as you can.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Take a deck of cards, that morning's newspaper, some light snacks and a change of clothes for DP if you are birthing outside the home.

Take your own pillow, and put it in a pillowcase that is not white - patterned or a solid color other than white - to distinguish from the hospital or birthing center's linens.

After, remember you just had a baby. Even if you're feeling great, had the world's easiest PG and a 2-hour L&D, your body really did go through a lot. Rest. have someone else get you water, a snack, a pillow, the remote, whatever. DO NOT PLAY HOSTESS!


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## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

Depends underwear instead of maxi pads









Use the maxi pads as ice packs though. Squirt some water into the absorbent part of the pad and put it in the freezer. It's less harsh than an actual ice pack, and when the water melts it won't leak anywhere. Do this BEFORE the baby is born, so they are frozen when you need them after the birth.

This is something that's kind of embarrassing, but one thing I was really grateful I did, was use a depilatory cream "down there" when I thought I was getting close to labor. It made keeping clean MUCH easier than dealing with the clotty lochia stuck to a bunch of hair







Don't shave..it grows back so fast, is itchy when it grows back, and I wouldn't want to have to deal with trying to shave a swollen 'area'. The cream lasted about 3 weeks, enough time for the bleeding to really back off and the swelling to go down.

I know it's great to be able to sleep on your tummy following the birth, after months of not being able to sleep that way, but be careful-- if you are sleeping on your tummy the night that your milk comes in, you will be in P-A-I-N


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## Qestia (Sep 26, 2005)

The one thing I'd wish I'd known was that DS wasn't going to starve to death. There's so much pressure to supplement with formula, which I gave in to, and I think it permanently damaged our breastfeeding relationship. Now I know better--and I won't let them scare me again.


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

Oh, I just remembered, the nurses at the hospital made a pad into an ice pack by cutting a slit in the back of the pad and adding crushed ice then taping the slit closed. It worked great!


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## bdoody11 (Aug 16, 2005)

Another ice pack tip... take a newborn dipe (disposable, of course) and fill it with ice. Fold it over on itself and tape. You can keep it in the freezer until your ready and then just pop it in.

As for tips, mmmm... I guess my tip would be not to stress too much. Prepare the best you can and if need something you've forgotten your DP/parents/friends will pitch in and get it done.

And really, resting and getting to know your baby is most important thing you'll do. Good luck to all of the mamas who have babes on the way!


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## moonglowmama (Jan 23, 2002)

* Make a list those last few weeks of small jobs people can do to help you out around the house: fill dishwasher, start a load of towels, sweep kitchen, etc.

* if you're doing a baby book, keep it near a place you think you'll breastfeed most often.

* get a cheap foot stool to keep near the couch or wherever you nurse, it helps to be able to prop up your feet. Also, keep lots of various-sized pillows nearby until you figure out which ones work best.

* when people ask if they can get you anything, say yes! yogurt, frozen burritos, fruit, sliced cheese, anything that you can eat with one hand and just grab and go. I can remember not even being able to microwave food to eat. Now, of course, I don't know why it was so hard, but that's how it goes, I guess.

* I always sleep on the couch for the first month or 2. I can semi-lounge, with the baby on my chest, tummy to tummy. They sleep really well that way and I KNOW everything's good with them.







Plus, I can lean my body against the back of the couch, which is really good support.

* keep a baby seat in the bathroom so you'll be able to pee and shower.

* drink lots of water.

* if you're doing herbal baths following birth, put some of the good water in your peri bottle before getting in.

that's all for now....so fun to think about all this again!


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## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MeepyCat* 
"Helpful" visitors are sometimes the most exhausting kind. People who come over to do things for you often need instruction and guidance: where do the plates go? how do you sort your silverware? People who bring meals may leave you with a sink full of dishes. Even people who you'd think should know better are sometimes so blitzed by the presence of the baby that they wind up being demanding guests. There is no need to stand for this. Feel free to begin explaining to people that what you need - what you really, really need - is to watch a silly movie and have a margarita, and that the best way for them to enable that is to hold down the other end of your sofa and make sure the spare margarita glass doesn't get lonely. Promise not to quiz them on the movie, so that they can stare at the baby if they like.

Yes, yes, yes!

People really do WANT to be helpful, but sometimes telling them how to help is more work than just doing it yourself. It is a huge help to, while still pregnant, jot down instructions for how you do laundry, use your dishwasher, feed your pets, etc. Either keep it all in one place or at the site (post on the D/W, near the pet food bowls, etc.). My dogs have a complicated food/medication schedule, so I printed that all up along with a chart of when they'd been fed so they didn't get over or underfed. I meant to do that for other things like laundry but didn't get around to it.

Also, keep a dry erase board with chores that need to be done. If anyone asks if you need anything, just point to the board. That way, the guest can choose which chore to do. Some people might be okay with walking your dog or doing your dishes, others would prefer to take out the trash. This also makes it less awkward to ask for help.

And, DEPENDS!







I know it sounds horrible, but trust me! I was totally against this idea but grabbed a package the day I went into labor, and boy was I glad to have them. I actually wore them during labor (homebirth) because I leaked a steady leak the whole time and was going through pads way too fast. They were wonderful for PP bleeding as well for that first few days. Once you get past the ick factor of wearing adult diapers, you will LOVE them!


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

-I second the olive oil or some other greasy ointment on the baby's butt and really the entire area. That meconium is really sticky.

-Learn to use your slow cooker now because you will never have time to cook big meals for the next year.

-For the baby book, I use shutterfly and do it all electronically. Saves time, is more efficient, and creates a photo backup in case your pc crashes.

-Get strong! You know why women have a permanent view of their navels by the time they're eighty? It's from craning their necks to get a looky-loo at the baby for hours on end. At least by the time we're stuck in that position, it doesn't hurt anymore.

So mommas and mommas-to-be, listen up. Motherhood is not ergonomic. Your neck will hurt. Your back will hurt. Your arms will burn and shake from fatigue. Lift weights and get in shape before the baby comes or stock up on Tylenol and massage gift certificates.

-Practice employing the law of concurrent work because being super efficient is the only way you will get anything done.

-Babyproof before the kiddo comes. You do not have time to research, debate options, shop, and install all the safety dewdads after the baby comes. Yes, bending over when you're eight months pregnant is hard, but it's much more dangerous to bend over and attempt to install plug protectors with a wobbly infant perched on your shoulder.

-You will forget something, so build fail safes into your life. A few diapers and travel wipes in the backseat pocket for when you forget the diaper bag. Some gladware containers in your office for the days you forget to bring milk storage bags or the lids to the milk containers. A few dollars tucked into the sun visor for parking fees or quick drive-thru lunches. A spare house key at a trusted neighbor's. Make sure your fail safes provide essentials for the baby, emergency money, and ensure you can get back into your house/car.

-Panic is normal. Feeling overwhelmed is normal. Think about it, every single aspect of your life has changed. You don't pee when you want to, shower when you want to, or eat when you want to, your entire life has been subverted by a newborn's schedule. Expectations of 'me time' are lowered to just five minutes alone in the shower or on the toilet. If you don't get a little freaked out by it all, there's something wrong with you.I tell people my daughter ripped out all my roots and planted new ones. Some days, their growing pains bring me to my knees.

Just because your child is the best thing that ever happened to you and just because your feel like your heart is eight times too big with love doesn't mean this parenting gig is easy.

V


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

Oh, the things I wish I'd known!!!!!

-in the hospital... the final decision is ALWAYS yours, not the doctor/nurse's. Except with a court ordered c/s anyway. Don't let them bully you into something you don't need/want because not doing it could "hurt the baby"... it's a guilt trip, and it's very often a lie.

-bring more than 1 outfit for baby in the hospital. Bring more than one outfit for YOU, too.

-I wish I had known co-sleeping was okay. even great. Instead I didn't sleep at all the first night, thinking DS would stop breathing in the plastic box for no reason. So I actually had him taken to the nursery for awhile once I got delusional, because I never thought to just put him in the bed WITH ME. And that's when he got FORMULA.

V said it best though.







I can't top that!


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## treehugginhippie (Nov 29, 2004)

Good thread! I've done this before but need a refresher, lol! And there's good stuff...subbing to read later...


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## Violet2 (Apr 26, 2007)

Thanks SunnyMW!

Lemme see. I think I have some more.

1.Newborn sleep isn't too bad IF you buy the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD (Dvd is fun and more time efficient than the book, plus you can watch it with your spouse). However, sleep is NOT a positive progression so I will warn you that the 4 month sleep regression is tough and if you've gone back to work, it might seem like it's all crashing down on you. Maybe plan to take some vacation time during this period and have your spouse take some 1/2 days so you get a few hours of sleep.

My DD kept me up for 3 days during her 4 month sleep regression. I actually ended up quitting my job after that.

Once you're out of the newborn period, sleep can be a little trickier. Swaddling may or may not work. Co-sleeping may or may not work. It's time for a new bag of tricks. Read up on sleep. The No Cry Sleep Solution is a decent option.

2. FYI once you're in the 12 month size you're into outfits. No more cute sleepers. I know it sounds like such a looong time and such a biiig size but my DD hit 12 month size at 4 months due to her height. Sizes last for 2" in length and about a 4-5 pound spread. Which means one size lasts for 4 to 6 weeks. Or less. My Dd outgrew the 9 month size in 3 weeks flat.

3.After the 3 month newborn period things change, but don't necessarily become easier. If you like your parents/family/friends, maybe invite them back to coddle you for a week after the first 3 months. Also look into a mother's helper or establish a relationship with a sitter you trust so you can give yourself a break when you want one.

4.After the first 8 weeks (which are sort of insane and the baby really does need you 24/7)take breaks. Take 'me' time.

5.Make sure your partner knows they will be doing laundry, housework, cooking, and diaper changes. If either of you think momma is going to do it all, you are setting yourself up for a hard, long road. Start working to change that dynamic now before sleep deprivation makes you homicidal. Parenting is a team effort and the job is bigger than either of you alone.

6.Stock up on meds and first aid for you and the baby. Maybe even some chicken soup in the freezer. FYI Daycare germs are evil. You will ALL get sick, even if you breastfeed and you will be too sick to be running errands to the drugstore. Daycare sick was the first time in our lives that we called people for help b/c we couldn't care for ourselves let alone the baby.

Also, if you are taking FMLA and returning to work, consider going back early to save a week or two for the sick time. My DD was sick 5 weeks out of the 10 weeks she was in daycare. I'm told that's unusually bad, so maybe you will get lucky, but knowing what I know now, I would've saved some FMLA for the daycare germs.

It might be a good idea to check with HR re: how much 'disability' time you have left. I found out I had no paid sick time left due to my maternity leave. I had to use all vacation days when I was sick or not get paid.

7.And if you can afford a nanny, get one. At least for the first year. Babies, imo, need a lot of one-on-one care and group daycare isn't the ideal environment until they're a bit older. Yes, it's expensive, but guess what? You no longer work for money, you work to pay for childcare--the sooner you accept this, the better. It's been a hard lesson for me and I've had a hard time wrapping my mind around it.

If you go the group care route, get a back up lined up so you only stay home the days your LO is truly sick and not just too sick for daycare (which is a different type of sick).

That's all for now. I know this isn't immediate postpartum stuff, but there is so much emphasis on the first 3 months, some of these bigger, longer term issues get short shrift. Your life has to assimilate an entirely new set of tasks and needs and you have to create an infrastructure to handle it from scratch.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

My babies never fit in newborn and barely in 0-3 month size.


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## ltbaggywrinkle (Mar 26, 2008)

These are all fabulous tips--thanks so much! I was just thinking in the car on the way to work that Depends might be a good thing to have on hand--the next time my mom buys them for my grandma I'll ask her to take some out of the box for me. I also love the frozen maxi trick--wish I has thought of that when I've had bad UTIs!!

My sister has always written all of the important dates right on her calendar and then transferred them to the baby book later--I have one friend who had a calendar on her fridge just for the purpose of writing little notes about the baby's firsts etc.

Love the idea of writing the envelopes for the announcement ahead of time. I plan to pick out a boy announcement and a girl announcement and get them all laid out on the computer ahead of time so my DH can just add the actual date, weight, etc., print them out, and mail them.


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## mchalehm (Feb 5, 2007)

While I know Qestia's advice usually applies--I wish I had known that my intuition (that my baby was hungry--really hungry--even after the first week had gone by) was not wrong. After LC after LC had told me, on the phone, that she was probably just fine and that "babies cry," the LC who saw us right before I started supplementing confirmed that she was getting almost no milk. I let her go hungry for much longer than I am comfortable with thinking about. I know it doesn't happen often, but we were seeing LCs every day or two and doing EVERYthing anyone suggested, and she was losing weight steadily and getting more and more sleepy.

I wish someone had told me:
a) Listen to your intuition. You know your baby. Even as a new mom, if you think something is wrong, make your healthcare providers listen to you.
b) Breastfeeding is NOT all or nothing. I don't encourage supplementation unless it's totally clear that it's medically necessary, but it would have been nice, once it WAS clear, if so many of my family members weren't saying things like, "Oh, well, just switch to formula," instead of the more supportive, "Keep trying! She's getting the food she needs now and the milk you CAN give her is valuable!"

Other things I would have liked to know:
* Your baby does not have to be asleep for you to nap. If you have a newborn, and he or she is fed, clean, and happy, you can take a nap with the baby. You don't have to entertain her! She's happy enough to lay with you and take in the sights, if all of her needs are met. Half an hour of sleep like this can make all the difference to you and your baby will not mind.
* The best thing for our nursing relationship (which was really rocky, as I mentioned) was having a lot of short movies to pop in and watch. My husband would start the movie, bring me drinks or snacks, and rub my feet or the baby's back, and I would just nurse the baby. This time I am going to get the new season of "Dr. Who" for postpartum.
* If people want to come help you, think about your personality. I treasured nothing in those first weeks as much as privacy.
* Definitely freeze meals ahead if you can! The other thing--not healthy, but fantastic for a new mama--that we did last time was that my husband ran into Popeye's Chicken on our way home from the hospital and bought a family-size box of fried chicken. I could eat it one-handed while nursing and it has a lot of protein (although also a lot of salt and fat...but I was craving all of those things postpartum!). Of course you could make it yourself but the point is, having something to eat cold whenever you want it from the fridge is great.
* Drink, drink, drink. Water is great, of course, but I go through gallons of decaf iced tea. Whatever gets the fluids in is good! I also tried Gatorade (blech) and that was one of the few things that helped my milk supply. If you're worried about milk supply, eat oatmeal, drink a lot (try Gatorade), and--if you're comfortable with it, which I was--split a beer with your partner every night. I would nurse the baby, pump, and then have my half of a Guinness. The darker the beer, the better, I'm told, and Guinness worked for me better than any of the herbs that the LC suggested.
* Get out if you want to. A lot of people don't want to, and that's fine, but I was CRAZY after three days in the house. Taking the baby for a walk (if weather permits, of course) is great. We went to the deli and had a sandwich. It was almost a religious experience to see that our lives, while forever changed, still included other people and "normal" life! Don't overdo it, but if you really want out, go out.


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## KBinSATX (Jan 17, 2006)

Take all of the Formula Samples that you get in the mail and donate it to a food bank the week before your due date. The first few days nursing are tough and you don't want to be tempted/pressured into using it.

Consider Cloth Menstrual Pads after the first couple of days. I found the pads with the blue gel tuff seriously irritating. I am not doing to do that again. I am going for bamboo velour this time!


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## zoshamosha (Apr 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alexsam* 

Also, for the hospital birth, make your spouse/partner pack themselves a meal and snacks. THEY will be hungry and you don't want them dissapearing because they are starving and need to go to the cafeteria. .

Yes! This is so true. DH got so hungry during my 14+ hours of active labor but he didn't want to leave. So he decided to order a pizza, but felt bad having a pizza delivered for just himself so he ended up ordering pizza for the whole L&D staff! He ordered, like, 30 pizzas, and doctors and nurses started wandering in from other departments


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## CookAMH (Jun 2, 2008)

This is a great thread! I copied many items to a google doc to keep on hand.


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## Hollin (Jun 26, 2005)

Give away all your "dry clean only" clothes to Goodwill. If you're like me you'll never be wearing them again!


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## nuwavemomma (Jul 20, 2006)

All babies lose weight in the time between birth and your milk coming in. Normal weight loss is NOT an appropriate reason to supplement with formula in that time, nor do you need to pump during that time after a normal birth.

Can you tell who had the totally BF-ignorant nurse? Ugh.


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## superflippy (Jul 27, 2006)

Great advice! This will be my second, and I've learned a few new things from y'all.

What I learned the first time around:

- Doulas are awesome.

- Get yourself one brand-new comfortable postpartum outfit. (In my case, it was a pink sweatsuit.) You will be sick of maternity clothes and it will be nice to have one decent outfit you can wear in public and feel presentable.

- A Bella Band or girdle (or even belly binding if you know how) is great for holding in the saggy tummy and making clothes fit more comfortably.

- You can buy lots of fancy schmancy baby clothes on eBay, cheap.

- Put your dresses in storage. Unless they button down the front, you won't be able to wear them while nursing, unless you want to undress completely!

And my most important piece of advice:

- If you find that you are crying a lot, easily angered, having odd thoughts about harming yourself or the baby, or just in a total funk and feeling detached from or unable to bond with your baby, TELL SOMEONE!
Tell your doctor, midwife, postpartum doula, partner, sister, or mom. Take the Edinburgh PPD test. Do not let postpartum depression go undiagnosed or untreated.
OK, sermon over.


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## Julia'sMom (Mar 12, 2007)

Lots of good advice in this thread.









I would just add, if you're doing a hospital birth, upack the camera as soon as you arrive and don't let dh/dp lose track of it. I ended up with an emergency c-section and my dh forgot the camera in all of the chaos of leaving the delivery room. He was unable to retrieve it for quite a while and so we missed out on delivery pictures. Oh...also...wake up your dh if the nurses are calling the doctor and everyone is consulting on what to do. It's a lot harder for him to process when he wakes up as you're signing the c-section forms and getting wheeled to the or.


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## ilovebabies (Jun 7, 2008)

I didn't read all of these but for me, when my milk comes in I engorge so badly that I am crying. It's the most awful part of the pp period for me (worse than the uterus contractions when the baby nurses). I think it gets worse with each pg and last time I seriously wanted to cut my boobs off it was sooooo bad. So...

* Have cabbage leaves already in your fridge so that you can use them as soon as you need them instead of dh having to run to the store (my engorgement decided to start in the middle of the night!)

* A month or two before your due date, start doubling and tripling your recipes and freeze complete meals. You will be so thankful you did! Also ask family members to bring over frozen meals when/if they ask how they can help you!

* Make sure your fridge, freezer and cabinets are well stocked.

* Have a list made ahead of time of grocery needs for your family so that if someone runs to the store for you, you'll have a list already ready for them!

(Can you tell I have a big family? Food is a major deal around here!







)

* The week or two around your due date, reserve a bunch of your favorite movies from the library so that by the time you have the baby, you can either already have them at the house or someone can run and pick the ones up that are on hold.

* Keep a basket next to the place where you will most frequently nurse (for me, the couch) of things you may need (ie. lansinoh cream, remote control, movies, toddler and pre-schooler books for your other little ones who you can read to while you nurse, a book or two for you, a journal, snacks, telephone, breast pads, and whatever else you'd want within your reach...laptop?







).

* Purchase plenty of maxi pads before the birth so they are already at the house and a trip to the store won't be necessary.

* Figure out how to use your infant carrier or sling *before* the baby comes! Practice with a baby doll. Ask me how I know this!









That's all I can think of right now!


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## j_p_i (Sep 9, 2008)

I felt so relieved when I logged in and saw this forum today! Thank you mamas! I love it!


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## surprisedmama (Sep 27, 2008)

Sorry if I am repeating there are a lot of posts here. Thanks for all the ideas an refreshers. Here are some of mine.

Quote:

Keep a basket next to the place where you will most frequently nurse (for me, the couch) of things you may need ... )
.

Definitely I would add a paper and pad to write down any ideas you have while breast feeding, I got two easy to open with no hands water bottles so they can be exchanged easily as soon as you start to get a good latch BF you get super thirsty.

I loved writing down my birth story while it was fresh, it is amazing how much you actually forget over time.

You will need more light day's pads then huge ones. You bleed a little bit for a long time and you don't want to be stuck in huge pads

If you have a home birth your midwife doula may need a place to sleep or rest.

If you choose birthing music be aware you might never want to listen to it again.









Right after birth you get really hungry so make sure someone saved you a yummy snack or meal. All I had was some dry toast which didn't do it.

Soak it in it is so special you only get to do it a few times. Happy baby making!


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## pantufla (Jun 7, 2007)

Make a list of important phone numbers for before, during, and after labor and post it by every phone in your house. Also store them in your cell phone.


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## mangofandango (Nov 6, 2007)

Thanks for starting this thread. I am just about 5 weeks pregnant and adjusting to the idea. Using this thread to make some lists is helping to sort out my brain. Also, I'm new here - hi.


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## jenniferadurham (Apr 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mrshawwk* 

A rice sock is nice to abdominal pain from birth or afterpains (which for me were so much worse for 2nd and 3rd children!). Take an old tube sock, fill it with rice and tie a good knot at the end. Then just pop it in the microwave for a couple minutes and it is nice and warm and adjustable for anywhere you need relief.



Rice socks are good for the baby as well. My MW said to bring several to the birthing center to keep babe warm right after birth. As well as freezing one for labor...

Wear *depends* while in labor so when your fluids come out you don't have to keep changing clothing/panties.

Wear a nightgown during labor that is a *tank* and short so that you don't get over heated plus they can check you easily.

Have a family member bring some nutritious food for right after babe is born bc you will be ravenous.

MW suggested to start using breast cream NOW so that your nipples get used to being soft and not chapped...it will help with the transition when you start nursing.

Olive oil- small and unopened- to use when baby is crowning...no oils that have *scents* in them bc it might get into their eyes.

large cans of frozen OJ to get moms sugars back up after birth. And clear fluids to drink during, including Gatorade type drinks.

food, drinks, and water for guests that will be attending the labor/birth.

Letting the family know when they CAN come over and at what time. Leave it short and sweet and don't give in to them.


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## Jojo F. (Apr 7, 2007)

Had to sub even though I already have a 5 year old. There are things you just don't think about when you have placenta brain!


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## jecombs (Mar 6, 2008)

I kept my labor a total secret! I had told family members that I didn't want anyone waiting "in the waiting room" at the hospital, but I was afraid that MIL and step-FIL wouldn't listen. So, we didn't call anyone until after DD was born. It was so nice to be able to hold and bond with DD for as long as I wanted and not feel like I had to let others hold her (besides DH) until I was ready. It was also totally fun to make phone calls at 6:30AM and tell people that DD had arrived! They were shocked!


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## jenniferadurham (Apr 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jecombs* 
I kept my labor a total secret! I had told family members that I didn't want anyone waiting "in the waiting room" at the hospital, but I was afraid that MIL and step-FIL wouldn't listen. So, we didn't call anyone until after DD was born. It was so nice to be able to hold and bond with DD for as long as I wanted and not feel like I had to let others hold her (besides DH) until I was ready. It was also totally fun to make phone calls at 6:30AM and tell people that DD had arrived! They were shocked!

That is such a great idea! You could just say "It all happened so fast we didn't have time call ANYONE!!!" LMBO! I love it!!!!!!!!!


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## mirandahope (Nov 10, 2005)

Thank you, mamas! I am 40w4d today with #2 and I thought I had all the gear! You have helped me remember the feeling of being in a cave when I last newborn and given me good ideas! I have a page of notes here on things I want to get pre-birth.

The Depends are a common theme and I plan to get some.

Cabbage leaves were my best friend last time on my achy breasts, and maxi pads that I had wet and frozen in the freezer were so kind on my post delivery sore perineum.


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## MamaMonica (Sep 22, 2002)

Moved to Birth and Beyond.


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

Good idea for a thread!
1. BFing is much harder than I had thought. Read up - I recommend Dr. Sears. *Make sure your LCs are good!* Don't waste your time with bad LCs - thinking you are getting help, while things just continue to spiral downward.








2. Even if your baby is due in summer, have gowns with mittens & hats.
& bring your own receiving blankets. I didn't like the felt-like ones at the hospital. They left little fuzzies on DS' lips, which then got embedded into my nipples! A knit fabric is better. Plus a honey-comb knit is stretchy & thus allows you a tighter swaddle.
3. Bring baby emery board to the hospital for those little nails!
4. Get info on post-partum healing. I was too clueless on this. I had such confidence that my body would be fine through birth! I didn't give postpartum healing any thought.


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## ShwarmaQueen (Mar 28, 2008)

:


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## diamond lil (Oct 6, 2003)

* If you are having your first, I would definately suggest having a doula. Even though my husband and I both went through Bradley courses, we really needed the doula to remind me to breathe and to help ease my mind.

* Take all the post-partum pads you can from the hospital and ask for more for those first few days after the birth.

* Take home the hospital booger-sucker. Take two, if available. The ones you buy in the store cannot compare.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Find your camera way before your due date. I went three weeks early and we were in such a rush I couldn't find the camera. Thanks to that DD has one crappy picture on the camera phone of her first day.


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## mummamo (Nov 10, 2008)

What great suggestions!
I found that I went into my births feeling the most relaxed when I knew things at home were taken care of. So I had lots of frozen meals, things were clean (one of the best gifts I got at my shower was a gift certificate for a cleaning service), I had care for the dogs lined up and had all the things I'd need for after (peri bottle, pads, witch hazel, lanolin, etc.) ready to go.


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## La Rune (Sep 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wholewheatmama* 
And, DEPENDS!







I know it sounds horrible, but trust me! I was totally against this idea but grabbed a package the day I went into labor, and boy was I glad to have them. I actually wore them during labor (homebirth) because I leaked a steady leak the whole time and was going through pads way too fast. They were wonderful for PP bleeding as well for that first few days. Once you get past the ick factor of wearing adult diapers, you will LOVE them!

YES! You are a wise woman!

They are so much more comfortable than a pad stuck to underwear. Plus, the same size fit great both when I was leaking during labor AND for the PP bleeding after, which is more than I can say about my underwear. If you were planning to freeze pads for soreness you can just stick them inside like normal, too, and then you don't even have to worry about leaks!

Plus ... less laundry!


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## crazyrunningmama (Dec 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alexsam* 
Yes... And menstrual pads









And witch hazel (put some on a pad, put the pad in the freezer, trust me, you might LOVE it). I had some tearing.


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## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

Love this thread! DD is only 22 months but Ive forgotten ALOT about when she was a newborn.. Heres my contribution:
-Practice the smile and "thank you" before hand since everyone seems to be a newborn expert. I would get upset at some of the dumb things people told me, smiling and ignoring would have been a ton better.
-Depends is your best friend. I bled pretty bad and they were so much more comfortable for the couple weeks (yes, weeks) I had to use them.
-If your hospital is like the one I was at they had these wonderful pads that weren't pads, they were ice packs. Bring some home. The nurses were great in sneaking me a ton to put into my bag so I had them when I got home.
-Just because labor wasn't as hard/long as you expected doesn't mean you don't need rest or time to heal.. Also, tears hurt like the dickens when they are healing and bad tears take a while to heal.
-Hospitals run out of diapers that fit at times. When I was there they ran out of newborns and I had to try to get size ones to fit on my DD. She blew out of every diaper
- Bring some books or something to occupy yourself while at the hospital. I can't sleep while Im in the hospital and spent a long time staring at the wall and walking around the room.
- Contray to what they will tell you, NO you won't drop your baby if you carry him/her around shortly after birth. There is no reason the baby needs to stay in the little bassinet they put them in.
-Stock up on extra diapers if you are using disposables. DH had to go out the third day home and get more because we ran out.
-You don't have to let everyone and their mother hold your child. It doesn't make you a bad person to want to keep your baby close to you.
-Burp clothes are great for spit up, recieving blankets are also great. Make sure to pack a couple of each, and a few changes of clothing if your child is like mine.
-Lanolin isn't for everyone and yes you can be allergic to it. I was told it was impossible to be allergic to it and its great for everyone, which lead to a LOT of problems in the beginning.
-Make a big sign with the babys name and birthday and hang it on your front door with another that says "baby sleeping do not disturb".. Also, record a voice message saying the same and turn off your phone. It solved a few nosy neigbor problems when DD was born.
-Make sure the nurses know how to use the camera. I had two great ones who wanted to take pictures of DD for us but didn't know how to use the camera. We ended up with a LOT of blurry pictures because of it.
-Its good to tell your nurses you want to breastfeed while in L&D. Thats one of the first things I told them when I got into the delievery room and I found out that they were both LCs and were super excited that I wanted to breastfeed. They were very supportive throughout the start and stopped by my PP room afterwards to see if I had any questions. I wish they were my PP nurses (the two I had PP formula fed their babies and didn't understand why people would want to bf).

Im sure there is more but I have a toddler climbing all over me.


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## mariekitt24 (Nov 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Qestia* 
The one thing I'd wish I'd known was that DS wasn't going to starve to death. There's so much pressure to supplement with formula, which I gave in to, and I think it permanently damaged our breastfeeding relationship. Now I know better--and I won't let them scare me again.

I'm really new to this site and being pregnant. What do you mean by "going to starve" and why would supplementing with formula damage that breastfeeding relationship? Can anyone point me to info about this or maybe just fill me in quick? Thanks. I really appreciate this thread too, there's so much I don't know!!


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

UNless there is a legitimate reason, it is very damaging to the bf relationship to give a newborn formula. For every feeding of formula given, that is less milk that the mom's breasts will produce, and it often spirals into a cycle of formula- less milk- formula- even less milk- until all of a sudden, the baby is completely on formula.


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## ShwarmaQueen (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mariekitt24* 
I'm really new to this site and being pregnant. What do you mean by "going to starve" and why would supplementing with formula damage that breastfeeding relationship? Can anyone point me to info about this or maybe just fill me in quick? Thanks. I really appreciate this thread too, there's so much I don't know!!

A huge difference in formula feeding and breastfeeding is quantity- Colostrum, or the first milk (before the buckets of milk are produced) is HIGHLY concentrated and it the PERFECT balance of fat/carbs/protein for a newborn gut, BUT there is usually not a lot, visibly, atleast. Newborns literally have to nurse almost nonstop to stay full (atleast my little fattie did). But it is enough for them, and the baby will NOT starve, however sometimes hospitals like to encourage/force moms to supplement with formula because they're more interested in quantity of milk vs. quality.

If you let your baby nurse nonstop/on-demand ASAP after birth, you LO will be perfectly nourished, don't let nurses tell you otherwise.


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## boringscreenname (Sep 26, 2007)

-If you're having a hospital eat and drink before you go in. I forgot to do this and didn't eat until nearly 24 hours later because the hospital refused to allow me to eat or drink anything except ice chips and popsicles.

-Extra blankets
-Extra burp cloths
-Extra clothes
-Buy a variety of sizes of clothes. We only bought 0-3 month clothes, no newborn sizes and ended up with a tiny babe and even the newborn sizes were big on him.


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