# s/o - do your kids call nonrelatives aunt/uncle?



## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Do you have any friends your children call aunt or uncle? I alwasy refer to my best friend as Auntie N when I'm talking to DD and DH has a friend who refers to himself as Uncle S when he's talking to DD. I don't mind, but I was curious as to how others feel.


----------



## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Nope. I think its fairly odd. :shrug


----------



## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

We did this growing up. All my mom's friends were aunty or "emo" (means aunty in Korean). Or uncle.

We haven't really done this with DD but she doesn't talk much yet. When she does, we'll probably do it. I think it's cute.


----------



## MO_Bookwyrm (Jul 31, 2010)

We do this. We only use it with close friends that we feel part of a family with. Our chosen family if you will.


----------



## Petie1104 (Oct 26, 2010)

Yes. The kids don'th even know which ones are real and which aren't. Honestly though its only with really close friends.

Ps. Ds just commented that my phone has a lazy board. But even with that I'm sure there are typos please forgive them. Hopefully I'll have internet back by next week and cam use an actual computer to fill my addiction to MDC.


----------



## woodchick (Jan 5, 2007)

We don't. I never did as a kid and I never knew anyone who did. I don't really have anything against it, though.

I have to admit, though, I only have one niece- she (literally) lives on the other side of the world from us and I wish I could be more involved in her life. I get a little pang in my heart to see comments on my SIL's facebook from "auntie so-and-so". It's totally my green monster coming out and I'm truly glad she has loving people in her life, but dang-it-all, she's the only one I get to be aunt to and it should be special! *wink, wink*


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

DS1 had a few non-related "uncles" and one "aunt". DD1, ds2 and dd2 don't have any of them, because dh and I don't have any really close friends, the way my ex and I did.

I always think we did that with a few of my parent's friends when we were younger, but when I think back, we didn't really call them "Uncle So-and-so" - we just kind of thought of them that way.


----------



## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

We are big "family is who you make it" people so out kids have two uncles and one aunt that are not related. They are family, better to them than many of their blood relatives and the people they love and count on. They are their uncles and aunt.


----------



## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Absolutely. If it weren't for chosen family my kids would have no family at all. Biologically they have 4 uncles and 2 aunts. None of them have spent more than an hour with my older daughter and they haven't met the youngest. Instead we have my wonderful fierce tribe of super devoted friends. It's wonderful. Our birthday parties are a kick as the 'relatives' look around and go, "OH!!! I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU!!!" and then get me in trouble by badly remembering my stories about other people.  Wouldn't trade my tribe for anything.


----------



## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

i had a few different non family aunts and uncles growing up. my ds only calls one non family member that- my little sisters best friend since they were 4 is aunt marisa, and so by default her hubby is uncle ryan. i dont have any really close friends right now, but obviously i dont have a problem with it, lol


----------



## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

No. I never did as a kid, either, so it's just not the norm to me.


----------



## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

we do this-- to the point that I don't remember calling any of my parents friends miss/mr or anything else. in fact, I was so suprised to be introduced as 'Mrs' at my first play date a few weekends ago.

I think it may be cultural though. (we are south asian).


----------



## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Yup, we have honourary Aunts and Uncles. Two of each... sort of. My best friend from school is an Uncle, babymomma is Aunt, and another friend who is either Aunt or Uncle depending on what he's wearing.


----------



## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

We do, with our chosen family. I didn't grow up with it. It's just something DH and I decided to do since it fit so well for our closest friends and for the people I call my foster family. Not all of them have remained close over the years, but the same can be said for some biological and step- family members. And some are much closer than the bio family members who you'd expect to be invested in my family.

My 8 year old understands which people are related to us biologically, and which we have chosen as part of our family. He's not confused by it. I imagine the same will be true with my younger son.


----------



## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

No. They don't even call their true biological aunts and uncles "Aunt" or "Uncle". It would be odd to give the title to someone who wasn't related to them.


----------



## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

I didn't grow up with it in my family but my children call my bestest friend "Auntie _____". She has always been really close with them. It is a little confusing as my actual sister has the same name as my friend but we rarely, if ever, talk about her and only see her once every other year.

We desperately need to find some honorary uncles for them. My DH has two sisters and I have one and none of them are currently married to men. And my buddy "Auntie ____" doesn't have a significant other currently. Good male role models seem to be in short supply around us right now.


----------



## Mrs.Music (Jun 15, 2010)

Yes. But just one friend. I already have 9 siblings, and DH has 3... so what's one more?  And it helps distinguish if I am talking about DD's friend Katie or MY friend Katy if I am talking to the kids.


----------



## Oubliette8 (Apr 15, 2009)

I had never heard of this until my best friend told me she was pregnant with her son and decided I would be his Aunt. I was very honored she felt that way, but preferred to be an Uncle, which was fine by her and her husband. I'm quite tickled. I've only met the little guy once as they live on the other side of the country (he's turning 4), but I tell everyone I have a nephew and love sending him gifts and hearing how he's doing.


----------



## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

Almost all of DH's and my close friends from before we had DS are referred to as Aunt _______ or Uncle ________. Also, DS' godparents, and my mother's close friends.

To me, it's a term of endearment. I figure DS has gotten a pretty firm grasp on who his family members are but we have "chosen family" in addition to our biological family and I think they are pretty important people too.


----------



## 5gifts (Nov 16, 2005)

My 12yo DD has a friend - a very silly drama filled friend







LOL! Who calls me Aunt______. She's known me 6 years & I was Miss_______, but she changed up 2 summers ago. She calls me on the phone all the time to spill her guts to me...then ask to talk to DD : )

The change was actually kind of funny. I have a 10 yo niece that stays with me all summer, for the past 4 years. She is not a bio-niece, but is in the family, in another state & in a round about way.

So DD, friend, and niece do everything together & are here all the time...friend starts calling me aunt____ with lots of emphasis, just like niece. Niece was in such a huff about it claiming 'She's MY Aunt!' But it stuck - silly girls....I'm glad I have 4 boys & not 4girls!!


----------



## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamalisa*
> 
> We are big "family is who you make it" people so out kids have two uncles and one aunt that are not related. They are family, better to them than many of their blood relatives and the people they love and count on. They are their uncles and aunt.


That. We do have one couple who are very very good friends. They're the only ones my kids call Aunt and Uncle. I have a "slightly" dysfunctional family so I'm happy to have other adults in my kids' lives that they can be close to and look up to.


----------



## GardenStream (Aug 21, 2007)

This... everyone is called by first names. We don't do Miss Firstname, Aunt Firstname or anything else. Only Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Oma are called something other than their first names.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree*
> 
> No. They don't even call their true biological aunts and uncles "Aunt" or "Uncle". It would be odd to give the title to someone who wasn't related to them.


----------



## AtYourCervices (Feb 22, 2009)

I have 2 honorary uncles from my childhood. They've been best friends with my dad since they were kids. One day my brother was doing a family tree for school and he got a confused look on his face... "Who is Uncle Dave a brother to?"

Uncle Dave is black. We're European mix/Cherokee.

I have a few friends who have the title "Aunt" or "Uncle". I am the "Aunt" to a beautiful newborn baby boy.

My kids don't see their biological aunts and uncles, unfortunately. Mostly it's due to physical distance. I have a biological nephew who lives on the other side of the world (Philippines).

Right now, I'm debating what to call my future step siblings. My dad is getting married and his future wife has 3 adult children. I think it would be appropriate to refer to them as Aunts and Uncle. However, I haven't met them. Scratch that, I went to middle school with the boy. I don't think we'll refer to them that often, though, so I think it's a non-issue.


----------



## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

No. I am more comfortable using aunt and uncle for family. It seems like iter terms could be used to designate special
Friends if people found it necessary. Just my preference.


----------



## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I have 8+ siblings, and DP has two, so they are the kids only aunts and uncles.

We do have one "Auntie" though. DP's mom's best friend who was always DP's aunt and is super close to the family. I'm comfortable with that because she is not going ANYWHERE. She's been in their lives for over 40 years and is just as much family as anyone else (DP is godfather to one of her daughters).

In general, the Aunt & Uncle thing doesn't bother me (when other people use it). I am comfortable only using it for "actual" family (which can be biological or chosen, but must be PERMANENT. if you moved half-way around the world for 10 years and then would never see the people again, they're not truly permanent). My BIL & SIL use the term freely and it bothers me *FOR THEM* because they started fostering my nephew (who is now 10) when he was 7 and I think it really is confusing about the permanence of family. He's had so many aunts & uncles (and moms and dads  ) in and out of his life, I wish they would really emphasize that FAMILY is forever. DP & I aren't going anywhere. BIL & SIL aren't going anywhere. His cousins will always be his cousins. Having random people be "aunt" and "uncle" to me just introduces more chances for loss in his life  But that's their choice.


----------



## ASusan (Jun 6, 2006)

Yes, DS has a few honorary aunties and uncles. They are all long-time friends. Their children call us Auntie ASusan and Uncle DH.

It is partly cultural/familial from DH's family and culture.

Anthropologists call it fictive kin. I don't like wikipedia's article on it, but I'm too lazy to search for a better one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fictive_kinship


----------



## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

Dh and I don't have any friends that close, but if we did DD would most likely call them Aunt or Uncle. She does call other family that aren't technically aunts or uncles by those titles. For example she calls my adult cousins as well as my aunts and uncles by those titles. She calls my cousins kids (so her 2nd cousins) her cousin-friends, a title she created herself.

As a child I had several Uncles and Aunts that weren't related to us. We also called my dad's cousin Uncle.

Isn't it a pretty common thing in other cultures to call people Aunt, Uncle, or even Grandmother or Grandfather as a sign of respect?


----------



## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

No. We only call family members uncle or aunt.


----------



## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

yes.. our dd has several aunts and uncles who are my and dh's sisters and brothers in our hearts but not our actual blood kin.


----------



## Mommy2Austin (Oct 10, 2006)

Yep  Close friends are Aunt/Uncle/ Cousins...its more familial than Mr/Ms./Mrs. We did it growing up and its always been a "thing" in our family.


----------



## rachieface (Mar 26, 2010)

I grew up calling my parents' friends "aunt" and "uncle" (we lived overseas), and now that I live in the USA my husband and I have chosen to do that with our good friends here. Most of our close friends are childless at the moment and absolutely LOVE being pseudo aunts and uncles to our babe! Calling friends by family terms is very common in other cultures, and also in the expatriate community that I grew up in.


----------



## Turtlecouple (May 11, 2004)

Yes, we do.

I'm from Hawaii and everybody there is Auntie or Uncle!!


----------



## karanyavel (May 8, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GardenStream*
> 
> This... everyone is called by first names. We don't do Miss Firstname, Aunt Firstname or anything else. Only Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and Oma are called something other than their first names.


This, pretty much, although my brother goes by "Uncle Firstname". Everyone else except for Mom, Dad, and grandparents are "Firstname" or "Nickname".

--K


----------



## blizzard_babe (Feb 14, 2007)

We do, from time to time, refer to a few close family friends as Aunt/Uncle So-and-so, but the only people that DS really KNOWS as Aunt or Uncle are his aunts and uncles. And my husband's batty aunt, who insists on being called aunt despite the fact that she's great-aunt.


----------



## Celtain (Mar 10, 2004)

My kids have one honorary "auntie" She is my best friend, my soul sister. DD2 slipped one day and just called her by her first name, well DS2 was having no part of it, he said, " that's AUNTIE Karen!!!!!!!" Yeah, that got him extra smoochies! LOL


----------



## MamitaM (Sep 10, 2010)

My parents were friends with a couple who I called auntie and uncle,I later ended up living with this couple and they forced me to start calling them mommy and daddy and I was abused by them. So when I became pregnant with my son I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I'm estranged from my family and they live quite far from me anyway. I'm a single mama and so my son really has no "real" relatives here. I've been allowing him to call one of my good male friends "uncle" b/c he's been in my life for the past 7 years or so. Recently the father of my milk baby referred to me as "auntie" and that was sweet and I liked it. We don't know each other well,but I think a good friendship is starting with this family and I'm hoping our babies will be close someday. I really do only want my son to use the term auntie and uncle for special people in my life who I know will stay. I know that when I start dating again I won't allow him to call anyone I date "uncle",they will be called by their first name.


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

Dh & I always felt that there should be a special word for those people who "we call him uncle but he's really a good friend of the family" so we jokingly call our close friends Fruncle & Fraunt.

But yes, we do this & so do most of our friends.


----------



## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

Dh & I always felt that there should be a special word for those people who "we call him uncle but he's really a good friend of the family" so we jokingly call our close friends Fruncle & Fraunt.

But yes, we do this & so do most of our friends.


----------



## SubliminalDarkness (Sep 9, 2009)

No. Pretty much everyone is known by their first name, even a couple who is very close and we've debated asking to be guardians to our kids should something happen to DH and I.


----------



## puffingirl (Nov 2, 2006)

Oh, yes! We have several aunties and uncles for our DD. She makes no distinction between them and her biological ones and we all consider ourselves very lucky.


----------



## Freebies4US (Nov 16, 2010)

I think this is a good idea. I do not have a big family but I have some very close friends who I would count as "family" and I tell my DDs that they are "auntie" or "uncle" and I think it is like a codeword to tell them that this is someone they can trust. Although one of my friends do not like this and I respect that and my DDs call her by her first name. A real personal decision.


----------



## rumi (Mar 29, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *texmati*
> 
> we do this-- to the point that I don't remember calling any of my parents friends miss/mr or anything else. in fact, I was so suprised to be introduced as 'Mrs' at my first play date a few weekends ago.
> 
> I think it may be cultural though. (we are south asian).












same here.


----------



## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lifeguard*
> 
> Dh & I always felt that there should be a special word for those people who "we call him uncle but he's really a good friend of the family" so we jokingly call our close friends Fruncle & Fraunt.


Fraunt and Fruncle are awesome


----------



## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

Nope.

My kids don't even call their aunts and uncle by that title. They call their aunts and uncles by their first names. They do call great-aunts and great-uncles by "Aunt so-and-so" or "Uncle so-and-so".

Something about kids calling people they are not related to aunt or uncle really bothers me and creeps me out a bit. I'm not quite sure what the association is that I feel that way. But I really don't like it.


----------



## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Are you also of a different culture. Reading through the responses, I realized that we have different names for 'real' aunts and uncles. We use Gujarati names for parent's siblings, grandparents siblings etc, so aunt and uncle just roll off the tongue for strangers without a thought. I'll definitely keep in mind that others have different views on this. I was kind of put off by the 'Mrs' at the play date, but upon reflection, it was probably appropriate.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rumi*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


----------



## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

Not really; my dd's do call one person "aunt" who is really their cousin because she has kids their age so it's more of an auntie relationship. To them cousins are playmates, kwim?

It does sort of bother me that dh was taught to do this as a child. He calls half the people in his church "Aunt Soandso" and after 22 years I'm still trying to figure out who we're really related to.


----------



## atnightingale (Mar 10, 2008)

We have done this somewhat formally. DH and I are both only children, so with the exception of his FORMER stepsisters (only one of whom we are in contact with and who has never met DD), our kids will have no possibility of natural aunts, uncles, or cousins. There are, of course great aunts and uncles who have opted for various naming conventions, but only one of those families has met DD more than once and she ops for first name only.

However we feel strongly that DD and her coming sibbling need trusted stable adults of our generation to be part of her life, so we have several close friends (couples and single) who we have asked to serve as aunts and uncles and who have agreed. One of her "aunts' lived with us for 5 months during a move where she and her husband were in different cities recently. This is not precisely cultural for us. I don't recall calling anyone other than biological kin aunt or uncle, but all our families get it and accept our reasons.


----------



## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

Yep, my kids call my best friend Auntie K. She has actually done more for my kids then their blood aunts in the way of sending little things, remembering birthdays, etc. and she has come from a lot farther to visit us. She was there for the birth of both my girls. She is like my sister. So they call her aunt and her husband Uncle A.


----------



## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MO_Bookwyrm*
> 
> We do this. We only use it with close friends that we feel part of a family with. Our chosen family if you will.












We only had one friend who was close enough to be called "auntie" and unfortunately DH and I had a huge fall out with her several years ago. But if we had other friends who were that close, then yes, definately.


----------



## hhurd (Oct 7, 2002)

DS has several honorary Aunties, who are women I've know for 30+ years and are precious to me. Just a first name didn't seem like enough to me. Also, we've got adoption ALL OVER our family, so biological relationships are of less importance to us.


----------



## odenata (Feb 1, 2005)

We don't have any friends close enough to consider this for our DCs, but I have an "uncle" who is not related, but instead a close family friend, and who was a larger part of my life growing up than either of my biological uncles.


----------



## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

We do this but only with my very best friend. I grew up with her and my kids are closer to her and her kids than to some of their blood related Aunts and Uncles. And incidently, I have a large blended family. Both of my parents remarried and I have a total of 6 step sibs, 3 of which we know well and 3 we hardly know at all. Plus assorted partners, it's a large crew and we aren't always great about getting that Aunt or Uncle in, when we see someone once a year.


----------



## wookie (Dec 12, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *texmati*
> 
> we do this-- to the point that I don't remember calling any of my parents friends miss/mr or anything else. in fact, I was so suprised to be introduced as 'Mrs' at my first play date a few weekends ago.
> 
> I think it may be cultural though. (we are south asian).


This. We are too. It was just so convenient...we didn't have to know anyone's name. New person? No problem. Hello, aunty 

Admittedly though, we had different terms of endearment for family members.


----------



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *woodchick*
> 
> We don't. I never did as a kid and I never knew anyone who did. I don't really have anything against it, though.
> 
> I have to admit, though, I only have one niece- she (literally) lives on the other side of the world from us and I wish I could be more involved in her life. I get a little pang in my heart to see comments on my SIL's facebook from "auntie so-and-so". It's totally my green monster coming out and I'm truly glad she has loving people in her life, but dang-it-all, she's the only one I get to be aunt to and it should be special! *wink, wink*


This. We don't do it, because I think it takes away from the people who actually ARE their aunts & uncles. But they have awesome biological aunts & uncles, and I might feel differently if they didn't.

I have a precious baby niece who is very near & dear to my heart, and all my sister-in-law's friends call themselves "Aunt So-and-So" on her FB. I'm happy she has so many people who love her, but I want her to know she's my niece & not everyone in the world's. lol. That's probably ridiculous, but it's how I feel.


----------



## Sol_y_Paz (Feb 6, 2009)

Yes. However, the people are biologically related.


----------

