# Do people do this or is it weird?



## midnightmommy (Apr 14, 2008)

I had a miscarriage in April I was only five weeks, but I swear it was a girl. I had another miscarriage this week(9 weeks), and I know it was a boy. I felt if a couple of weeks ago. We had names picked out both times. A girl on the first time around, and a boy one this last time. It's comforting to me to give them a name. Is this normal? When I used to see moms with names next to early miscarriages on blogs I used to think it was crazy. Now...not so much. For me it just makes if feel better in a strange way. I never got to hold them. I need something.

Just to share. The girl was Pearl. The boy was David.


----------



## moonglowmama (Jan 23, 2002)

We've named each of our babies we lost in miscarriage (now 3). Our first was Timothy, our second Stella and this one I call Jo-Jo, though I haven't confirmed it with my kids to make sure they like it.

So even if it is weird, who cares? I actually call each of our babies by name, even when talking to others- well, friends-- about them, and those experiences. I find it healing and life-affirming. I really was pregnant. I really did have a baby. I really did love my baby. It seems natural to name that baby.

And by the way, I love the names of your babies.


----------



## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I think that it is wonderful to name your babies!


----------



## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

Definitely not weird. I think it validates the love you have for your babies.


----------



## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

It is not weird at all.
Pearl and David are beautiful and wonderful names.







s to you for your losses, mama.


----------



## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

My best friend named her baby that she lost in early m/c.

I did not name the baby I lost (10 weeks) but of course did name the baby I gave birth to (stillborn) at 42 weeks. It does seem odd sometimes to have two angels and only one with a name, but I think if I went back and tried to name that baby now (my m/c was a year ago on 7/17) it just wouldn't seem like it was *really* my baby's name.

But no, it's not weird, and I do know people who do it.


----------



## meredyth0315 (Aug 16, 2007)

Absolutely not weird at all. It's a beautiful commemoration mama, no matter how short a time they were with you


----------



## EllasMummy (Dec 10, 2003)

Not weird at all.

I have had two miscarriages and I have named them both. I lost Angel at 11 weeks in 2000 and Star at 5 weeks in Feb this year. I felt very strongly that Angel was a boy and Star was a girl.

I had a necklace made with two charms on it, one is an Angel and one is a Star. I don't wear it all the time but I put it on when I am really missing them and feeling sad. It makes me feel as if I have all 4 of my children with me. I have been wearing it alot lately.

I am so sorry to hear about your losses.


----------



## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Of course not. It's not weird to name them, or to not name them. I like the names you chose.

I'm sorry for your losses. How are you doing?


----------



## midnightmommy (Apr 14, 2008)

I'm doing ok. The bleeding stopped yesterday. Currently waiting the midwife to call me back. The doctor told me to call in the office daily to check up, but I couldn't get myself to do it. I really didn't feel like I needed to anyway.

We've decided to wait until October to try again. That'll give me time to go in and see if anything is wrong, and to run a half marathon on the 19th of October. I could use the self confidence I get from running again.

I have a friend who works in an OB's office and she sent me a card with a poem. While I really don't want to talk to anyone right now, but my husband about this. (And people I don't know IRL.) I couldn't throw it away, and I really couldn't read it either. It's in the fire safe box now. It's all I've got at the moment. I'm trying to figure out how I can remember them.


----------



## MAWebster92182 (Jul 17, 2008)

I have an angel between my 2 DC. I find it amazingly coincidental that I found out I ws pregnant on 12/19/06, lost the baby exactly a month later (1/19/07), then birthed my DD a year to the day of my + HPT for my angel baby (12/19/07). I lost the baby early on, around 9 weeks, but I had strong feelings that it was a girl (could be because that's what I wanted, could be mother's intuition), but we had no testing done, so we don't know for sure. I bought a neclace w/ birthstone charms on it....When I bought it, it was to memorialize my angel (a Dec charm for the month we conceived, a Jan charm for the month of loss, an Aug charm for the due date month), however, the charms are also meaningful because my 2 DC are both born in Dec, and DH birthday is in Aug. I too wear it when I'm feeling lonely, sad, missing my angel, etc....


----------



## RainbowEarthFaerie (Oct 11, 2006)

I just found out yesterday that my baby had stopped growing. We had felt so strongly that the baby was a girl, and we named her. I asked my DH if he thought it was silly, and he said not at all. Some people cope better that way.


----------



## lunarmagic (Mar 10, 2006)

Very normal. I felt very early on in my pregnancy that it was a boy, and indeed he was. Coincidence or something more? I don't know. But if I had lost him early on I would have seen him as a boy in my mind.


----------



## MamaGlow (May 15, 2008)

I don't think of it as weird at all; I think it's completely normal and healthy to give a name to a little one, regardless of how long they are with you.

My grandma (who is now 99!) has told me that she named the babies she lost, but she was afraid to tell anyone, that they would think it weird, but she needed to...

I'm sorry for your loss.


----------



## lil_miss_understood (Jul 19, 2006)

The babies I lost when I was 17 were Xaviera and Riana (14 weeks).
The baby I lost in 2006 was Euphrates (I don't know when to say I lost this baby as she was gone before I knew).
I think it's a perfect way to acknowledge the baby you had already in your heart even if you never got to hold him or her in your arms.

ETA: Euphrates' name was picked for me... Around the 6 week mark, around the time she stopped growing, I had a dream she was born and I was holding her and we were calling her "Euphrates". At least I kind of got to hold her, even if it was only in my dreams.


----------



## firespiritmelody (Oct 13, 2005)

For me, it didnt feel right to name the baby that I lost (about 5 weeks). I personally believe in reincarnation and also that babies choose their parents, for what ever reason. I felt strongly that there must have been something "wrong" with the vessale (body? timing?) and that is why we lost the baby, but that her spirit was ment to be a part of our family and that when the time was right, she'd try again to join us. It took 6 months to get pregnant again, but in my heart I believe that my (now 4 year old) daughter is the same spirt we "lost" a few months before. So naming her didn't feel right.

If I loose another baby, I might do something differently.

Do what feels right in your heart to do. If naming the baby seems right, do it. And dont for one minute give a darn about what any body else thinks about it.


----------

