# co-sleeping with newborn



## girlspn

We're planning to co-sleep, and I've been researching on how to do this safely (all I've ever known is babies sleep in cribs so this is new to me), and am pretty confused with what to do. So far I've been given a sleep positioner and for lack of a better option, I bought a secure sleeper.

But recently I read in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeeding that you can just sleep with the baby next to you without anything. Is this true? At a recent LLL meeting, the mothers all said that you wouldn't roll over your baby if you're not overweight or a smoker, etc.

My future SIL tells me of accidents she heard about in her village when the baby sleeps next to parents, so her first reaction to my decision to co-sleep is that it's dangerous without any sort of barrier.

Experienced moms-- what do you think?


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## swede

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *azhie*
> 
> We're planning to co-sleep, and I've been researching on how to do this safely (all I've ever known is babies sleep in cribs so this is new to me), and am pretty confused with what to do. So far I've been given a sleep positioner and for lack of a better option, I bought a secure sleeper.
> 
> But recently I read in The Womanly Art of Breastfeeeding that you can just sleep with the baby next to you without anything. Is this true? At a recent LLL meeting, the mothers all said that you wouldn't roll over your baby if you're not overweight or a smoker, etc.
> 
> My future SIL tells me of accidents she heard about in her village when the baby sleeps next to parents, so her first reaction to my decision to co-sleep is that it's dangerous without any sort of barrier.
> 
> Experienced moms-- what do you think?


What village is your SIL from?

I have co-slept iwth all of my babies without any sleep positioners - baby just next to me in bed. No problem  My mom did the same. We have actually co-slept with babies and toddlers together in bed. I highly recommend the book, "The Family Bed" by Tine Thevenin.


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## mamapigeon

My husband and I are co-sleeping with our 2 week old. The first few nights I was awake the majority of the time in fear of smothering my baby. Now that I've gotten used to it, I'm sleeping. My baby is doing well, and apparently sleeps for longer than babies in cribs??? 4-ish hours at a time.

I would go with your gut on this. If you're not comfortable without something to secure your baby, don't sleep without a barrier. You want it to be a good experience.


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## Chloe'sMama

With DD1, we had a sleep positioner (snuggle nest, I think) and it interfered with nursing since I had to get her out each time. With DD2, we just brought her into the bed (actually had her at home in bed, so just rolled over!).

The blankets and pillows were our biggest concern, we just made sure nothing was NEAR her face at all, and it has all worked out well. We are all 4 in one big bed and love it!


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## azzeps

We co-slept with our daughter in a bassinet and later a pack n play bassinet until she was about 8 months old. You can co-sleep without bed sharing, if that's what works.


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## katelove

We co-slept with our newborn from day 1. We have rails on the bed which mean I can move from side to side to feed and also increases the functional surface of the bed because DH and I can lie right up against the edges.

I do not consider myself an especially intuitive person and I was surprised to find that right from the start I would wake, from what seemed to be a deep sleep, open my eyes and find J gazing at me. I wasn't aware of her having made any sound and she was quite calm and still but I woke so easily.

I wouldn't like to say that it would be impossible for me to have laid on her but, so far, we have had no problems and she is one on Thursday


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## springbride

With DD we had a pack n play sidecarred to our bed and she would start in the pack n play, the first time she woke to eat after I had gone to bed, she stayed with us the rest of the night. This was the best solution for us for the first few weeks, because DH was very hesitant to have her there the whole night for safety reasons. Once he was more comfortable with her being with us, she spent the whole night in our bed.


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## lkvosu

Rest assured that cosleeping is very safe! For the first few weeks, ds slept cradled in my arm and I used a small pillow and a very light blanket. I slept in long sleeved shirts (with a slit cut across my chest for easy nursing) so I wouldn't be cold. After about a month or so I got more comfortable with it and started using my regular pillow and the quilt we slept with before ds came along. Ds no longer wanted to stay cradled in my arm so we stopped that also.

At first I was nervous but it become second nature after I realized how aware of him I am, even during sleep.

Follw your instincts and I'm sure everything will be fine!


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## mamadiamond

dd has slept in our bed since day 1. the first month or so, before she could easily turn and lift her head, she slept on my chest. once she had head control she began sleeping next to me with my arm crooked around her. i use a regular pillow and a light comforter, and just make sure her head isn't near either one. i also sleep in a long sleeved shirt so the top of my body and all of dd's body can be uncovered/safe. my dh is a heavy sleeper, and that was my one concern. that's why i kept an arm around her, not to prevent me from rolling, but to keep him from rolling because he sleeps like a log and rolls a lot. but there was never any issue.


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## GinaR

I wasn't comfortable having my LO in our bed at first. He was swaddled and slept in a cradle next to our bed. As he got bigger and better at side lying breast-feeding, he naturally transitioned to our bed. We keep the blankets down by our waists (if it's cold we will wear a tshirt or sweatshirt), and use minimal pillows. I definitely sleep better now than I did at first (he is 3.5 months now), and my husband is perfectly comfortable with it now as well!


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## girlspn

She grew up in south China.... the incident she speaks of was probably over 15 years ago though, but she's adamant about how dangerous it is, and she's a very mild person.

Wow swede, how big is your bed??

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *swede*
> 
> What village is your SIL from?
> 
> I have co-slept iwth all of my babies without any sleep positioners - baby just next to me in bed. No problem  My mom did the same. We have actually co-slept with babies and toddlers together in bed. I highly recommend the book, "The Family Bed" by Tine Thevenin.


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## girlspn

Initially I thought to sleep with the baby next to me without a barrier or anything, it seemed like the natural thing to do and would be easy for nighttime nursing. But was discouraged by the family members with whom I mentioned it to. I mean, the idea is foreign to them, since all we've ever known are cribs.

I guess I will experiment with a few ways and see how it goes!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamapigeon*
> 
> My husband and I are co-sleeping with our 2 week old. The first few nights I was awake the majority of the time in fear of smothering my baby. Now that I've gotten used to it, I'm sleeping. My baby is doing well, and apparently sleeps for longer than babies in cribs??? 4-ish hours at a time.
> 
> I would go with your gut on this. If you're not comfortable without something to secure your baby, don't sleep without a barrier. You want it to be a good experience.


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## girlspn

Did you keep your LO swaddled when he moved to your bed?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GinaR*
> 
> I wasn't comfortable having my LO in our bed at first. He was swaddled and slept in a cradle next to our bed. As he got bigger and better at side lying breast-feeding, he naturally transitioned to our bed. We keep the blankets down by our waists (if it's cold we will wear a tshirt or sweatshirt), and use minimal pillows. I definitely sleep better now than I did at first (he is 3.5 months now), and my husband is perfectly comfortable with it now as well!


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## girlspn

I was wondering about this too-- baby falling asleep on your chest. At an LLL meeting, they said talked about nursing with the baby on your chest and how easy it is for both to just fall asleep in that position. Does the baby just stay on there for a long stretch of time until the next nursing session?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamadiamond*
> 
> dd has slept in our bed since day 1. the first month or so, before she could easily turn and lift her head, she slept on my chest. once she had head control she began sleeping next to me with my arm crooked around her. i use a regular pillow and a light comforter, and just make sure her head isn't near either one. i also sleep in a long sleeved shirt so the top of my body and all of dd's body can be uncovered/safe. my dh is a heavy sleeper, and that was my one concern. that's why i kept an arm around her, not to prevent me from rolling, but to keep him from rolling because he sleeps like a log and rolls a lot. but there was never any issue.


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## HappyMamaBeth

My daughter is 10 days old. I tried swaddling her in the newborn napper in the pack n play and she doesn't sleep for more than about 45 minutes. Out of desperation I finally brought her into bed with me last night cradled in my arm with no pillow and the blankets down to my legs and we got a few hours! It was heaven. I plan on doing that whenever necessary.


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## swede

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *azhie*
> 
> She grew up in south China.... the incident she speaks of was probably over 15 years ago though, but she's adamant about how dangerous it is, and she's a very mild person.
> 
> Wow swede, how big is your bed??


We have a queen next to a twin. both on boxsprings on the floor  One baby was smothered? Very sad. But more babies die in cribs, sleeping alone. Co-sleeping is really wonderful. Try and find the family bed book - it is really great  Good luck with your baby!


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## ZombieMama

I co-slept with all of my children, from day one. At one point in time, I had 3 children in bed with me at once. Now my older 3 are in their own beds, and my 7 month old is in bed with us, and we're expecting a new baby in December.

I just sleep so much better with my babies in bed with me. And I think they sleep better, too.


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## Chloe Snyder

I co-slept with my son who is now 4 and am currently co-sleeping with my daughter who is 3 months. We started co-sleeping with them from the first day they were born. For me, it always seemed logical to have my babies sleep close to me especially as newborns. Babies are so used to hearing our heartbeat and being surrounded by our warmth when they are in our bodies and it makes sense to give them a similar experience once they are out and adjusting to sleeping in a new environment. Also, I prefer a mostly solid night of sleep with my baby to a night of getting in and out of bed to comfort & feed them. Dr. Sears has some great advice on all things involving babies but I especially like what he has to say about co-sleeping. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000.asp

Listen to your heart and only do what you feel is right for you & your family.


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## Chloe Snyder

Sorry, I accidentally double posted to this!


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## SilverFish

it's true that babies do occasionally die while cosleeping. the baby your SIL was talking about could have died of smothering because the caregiver was under the influence of alcohol or drugs, the bed wasn't safe or something else directly related to who or what the child was sleeping near. or it could be the baby died of SIDS and the cosleeping was incidental. babies die in cribs too... at this point in time, it isn't possible to prevent all deaths in sleeping babies.

that very morbid fact aside, cosleeping is very safe and incredibly convenient. if you have a safe sleeping surface (and i believe you don't need to be as rigorous as some might claim) and have no health problems that might affect your sleeping patterns (drug or alcohol use, for example), then most parents are very capable of sleeping with their newborns. i really felt that i was incredibly connected to and aware of my dd when she slept with us. i always knew exactly where she was the instant i woke up, and i honestly felt like she was quite capable of safeguarding her own breathing in a way you wouldn't expect of a "helpless" newborn. she very easily turned her head away from things like pillows and blankets, and was directly oriented towards me and my breast. we didn't really do anything special... kept our normal pillows and duvet, no barriers or positioners or anything.

it's only very recently that i thought a bed railing might be nice, as she's less oriented towards me now and starting to roll away from me, towards the edge of the bed. i was paranoid about her rolling off the bed when she was tiny, but you could literally put her 2 inches from the edge of the bed, and she would start inching her way back to my boobs immediately (in her sleep!).

now, i did end up having her sleep at least a few hours a night on a separate surface (bassinet or crib) because i really started to need to be able to stretch out and move around without worrying about waking her. so even though we're only part time cosleepers now, i really think we got much more sleep and much less stress at night from being open to having her in our bed. when she's sick or teething or restless, instead of trying to wrestle with her in her crib and being up and down a million times a night, she just comes straight to bed with us.


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## beckybird

Hi Azhie! Here are some of my own personal cosleeping tips:


Always sleep facing toward the baby. Never sleep with your back to the baby.
I never, ever put the baby between my husband and myself. He is a heavy sleeper, so I would sleep with the baby next to the wall. Make sure there is no gap between the bed and wall.
My daughter was born in the winter, so it was pretty cold at night. I used a crocheted blanket, the kind with holes throughout. That way, just in case she ever did get the blanket over her head (she never did) there would be enough holes to breathe through.
After nursing the baby, you can scooch down in the bed, so your head is closer to the baby's head (almost face to face). Instead of sleeping with the baby down by your stomach/waist, your head and the baby's head can be at the same level. I did this often.
If you are sleeping with your head close to the baby's head, you can arrange your pillow so your head is right on the edge, and there would be no part of the pillow near the baby's head.

Of course, you will want to have a safe sleeping area to start with--no gaps between bed and wall, no fluffy blankets and pillows by baby, etc.

I coslept with both children.....still currently cosleeping with DD (18 mo). I am always cautious, and I never take cosleeping lightly. However, although there is a small danger with cosleeping, I found it much more frightening to sleep with the baby away from me. Not judging the crib people, but I personally could not handle having a newborn in a crib away from me!

Wait until you have the baby in your arms, and see what feels right to you. That is my best advice of all!


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## lkvosu

Pretty much exactly this! Very practical advice. This is almost word for word what we did.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *BeckyBird*
> 
> Hi Azhie! Here are some of my own personal cosleeping tips:
> 
> 
> Always sleep facing toward the baby. Never sleep with your back to the baby.
> I never, ever put the baby between my husband and myself. He is a heavy sleeper, so I would sleep with the baby next to the wall. Make sure there is no gap between the bed and wall.
> My daughter was born in the winter, so it was pretty cold at night. I used a crocheted blanket, the kind with holes throughout. That way, just in case she ever did get the blanket over her head (she never did) there would be enough holes to breathe through.
> After nursing the baby, you can scooch down in the bed, so your head is closer to the baby's head (almost face to face). Instead of sleeping with the baby down by your stomach/waist, your head and the baby's head can be at the same level. I did this often.
> If you are sleeping with your head close to the baby's head, you can arrange your pillow so your head is right on the edge, and there would be no part of the pillow near the baby's head.
> 
> Of course, you will want to have a safe sleeping area to start with--no gaps between bed and wall, no fluffy blankets and pillows by baby, etc.
> 
> I coslept with both children.....still currently cosleeping with DD (18 mo). I am always cautious, and I never take cosleeping lightly. However, although there is a small danger with cosleeping, I found it much more frightening to sleep with the baby away from me. Not judging the crib people, but I personally could not handle having a newborn in a crib away from me!
> 
> Wait until you have the baby in your arms, and see what feels right to you. That is my best advice of all!


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## nm7300

Lots of good advice above! We started with a snuggle-nest-type thing, but DS didn't like it, so we quickly just had him in the bed. We have a king-size bed. I always kept him really close to me & far from DH. I would lie on my side, curled up around him w/ my arm bottom under my pillow extended, so I could feel if DH got too close (he never did). We also use separate sheets and blankets (as in, DH has his own sheet & blanket, I have my own) to avoid the possibility of one of us pulling it up over the baby. DS is 10 months old now & we are still happily co-sleeping. Couldn't imagine it any other way!


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## MsFortune

I think a lot of it depends on what kind of sleeper you are. For example, my sister sleeps like the dead. I don't recommend her doing it. She's just too out of it when she sleeps. I'm a light sleeper. It worked for me.

My advice though to people considering cosleeping - get your baby used to sleeping without you, too. You may not want to have to lie down with your baby every time s/he needs to sleep, because sometimes this can last for years and it's a really hard habit to break.

With both of my babies - I would feed sitting up then put them into the crib (next to bed) when they were still a tiny bit awake, so they got used to going to sleep on their own. I'd then get a few hours of alone time until I went to bed and brought them into bed with me.


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## bignerpie

Somewhere along the line I heard or read that co-sleeping works because even though you may be asleep, you are still aware of your surroundings. You might move around in your sleep, but you're still in the bed when you wake up. Your brain is still aware of your boundaries and keeps you from falling off the bed. The same thing happens when your baby is in bed with you. As long as there is nothing impairing you, like drugs or alcohol, you will still be quite aware of what your baby is up to while you're sleeping.

I also believe that having a baby changes the way you sleep. I used to be quite a heavy sleeper, but since my son was born, the slightest noise by him will wake me up. That doesn't mean that I am being woken up all night... quite the opposite! I get more sleep when he's in bed beside me because I don't have to fully wake up to make sure he's ok.

Like BeckyBird said, just do what feels right to you!


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## springbride

Has anyone tried these ? Or anything similar? Any reviews/thoughts? We are going to transition DD to a twin bed sometime in the fall and I thought even if I hate then for cosleeping I can use them for her bed?

thanks.


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