# Optometrist Question - What is the process to getting glasses?



## Kinguk (Jun 26, 2008)

Hello all,


I am wondering what the typical process to getting glasses is. Weird question I know -- go to the optometrist seems a good start! 
I am in the midst of a situation though -- my 8 year old's eyes became strained through too much reading. (She was reading multiple novels each week - it was a stressful time for us and that is how she coped). I made a note to her dad via email that this was an issue and that we were going to now limit her reading to just 15mins/night. However, within 6 hours, he had taken her to the optometrist, gotten her eyes checked and notified me that she needs glasses everyday for the rest of her life! I told him to take a hike  
It's been months now and her eyes have improved greatly -- and now it's time to get a second opinion. 
I don't have glasses and neither does he -- I really don't know anything so am just getting informed before I tackle this. 
Thanks for any insight!


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## zebra15 (Oct 2, 2009)

Start with an eye exam and go from there.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Reading does not cause people to need glasses. If she was feeling eye strain while reading then there was an issue with her eyes already. The fact that neither of you need glasses at the moment is neither here nor there really. 

As Zebra said, an optometrist is the place to start. If the issue is correctable with glasses then they can prescribe them and have the prescription made up. If they identity signs of eye disease beyond that then you may need to see an ophthalmologist but that is a less likely scenario. 


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## Kinguk (Jun 26, 2008)

Seems simple enough. Her fuzziness and rubbing her eyes came on quickly and went away soon after we limited her reading to 15 minutes (no longer a novel and a half every other night). I also made her start reading in full light (she was previously reading with a lamp on or her flashlight). To me, after resting her eyes would be when you would take them to the optometrist.


I just need to figure out if I should get a new optometrist or go talk to her current one -- or both. I question the optometrist that would make such a drastic prescription (glasses 24/7 for the rest of her life).


There is a mental health issue with the other parent and it has been incredibly draining. I have just contacted adult mental health and will be going through this with their guidance. It gets complicated when you are dealing with personality disorders.


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## moominmamma (Jul 5, 2003)

Just guessing here, but it sounds like she's near-sighted since that's the type of refractive error that tends to come on in later childhood and progress through the teen years. So that would make sense of why the optometrist said she'll likely need glasses for the rest of her life. It is unlikely to improve, and certainly limiting reading, while it might be helpful in encouraging her to develop other stress-coping skills, isn't going to change the progression. There's nothing 'drastic' about a 24/7 prescription for corrective lenses. If the eyes can't bring objects properly into focus without them, glasses will be a godsend.

I'm someone who spent many years with an unrecognized mild but significant refractive error. My daughter was diagnosed at age 5 with a major refractive error (the opposite kind to mine: go figure!). Neither of us had _any_ idea what our vision was supposed to be like until we popped that first pair of glasses on our faces.

If you don't trust your ex, I would make an appointment with the optometrist she saw to discuss his findings and recommendations. I wouldn't put her through the whole examination process all over again just because you think he is being reactionary or whatever. Measurements of refractive error are remarkably stable from day to day and from one time of day to another. It makes no difference whether you "rest" your eyes before an appointment.

Miranda


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Kinguk said:


> Seems simple enough. Her fuzziness and rubbing her eyes came on quickly and went away soon after we limited her reading to 15 minutes (no longer a novel and a half every other night). I also made her start reading in full light (she was previously reading with a lamp on or her flashlight).


If she was reading a lot in dim light then she may have had some eye strain. That can cause fuzzy vision and sore eyes. However, the optometrist can tell the difference between that and a condition needing corrective glasses with the tests they perform. I agree with Miranda that going back to the first optometrist is probably the best place to start. You can always get a second opinion afterwards if you still doubt their findings/recommendations.

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## Kinguk (Jun 26, 2008)

Thank you again everyone. A couple more questions have popped up... But here is an update after a week for anyone who wishes to help me through to the end!!

I had a conversation at a separate optometrists office which went well.

The original optometrist office has been challenging. The doctor only works one day a week -- with another half day for admin (Fri & Sat). One of the staff -- who has been there both times and seems to run the front, has been condescending and loud -- I think the whole waiting room heard my situation that day. I didn't want to go in a second time but my phone was on rice. I have been spinning in circles with this office for a week. I was hoping to see the optometrist by today but no luck. She will be back in the office next Friday.

Second question - is possible to meet with an optometrist to have a discussion in person? They won't see me without my daughter. I have let the office staff know I won't be bringing my her in until I have a conversation with the optometrist. Is that out of line? (My daughter has been involved in this issues in ways that she shouldn't have to and I need to get info first before I bring her in.)

#3 What happens at the follow-up appointment? Another eye exam?

According to my daughter's files, the glasses are just for reading.

There was a follow-up appointment that was missed... Four months ago! Her Dad has been threatening me with litigation. I'm really not that concerned about his threats. I'm just pissed off that his ego mucked with her eyes.


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## mumto1 (Feb 17, 2016)

*I don't understand why you are taking this issue*

to this level? Sounds likes she needs glasses, end of story. Why would you doubt what the optometrist(s) are telling you? She could get headaches from straining her eyes (because she needs glasses), and may find school work increasingly difficult. Why wait? I have a foot problem, that gets worse when I walk around. The solution is not to stop walking (maybe when I'm 80) but rather, to wear better shoes or orthotics.


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## moominmamma (Jul 5, 2003)

I don't understand the timeline here, nor do I understand why you are so resistant to the idea of visual correction. From what you initially said I thought her dad had made her a shotgun-style appointment for a brand new complaint, but now it turns out she'd been seen previously and had missed a follow-up appointment ... so presumably there was pre-existing concern that something might require intervention at some point.

Kids who don't see well can sometimes compensate to a point by squinting and over-using the muscles in their eyes. That's what eye strain is: it's the result of trying to compensate for uncorrected poor vision. Eye strain doesn't _cause_ poor vision. You've got the cause and effect backwards: you seem to think that the symptom (eyestrain) is causing the disease (poor vision). That's like saying coughing causes pneumonia.

Miranda


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## moominmamma (Jul 5, 2003)

Sorry, I've read your edited original post and it's now clear that the initial appointment your ex took her to was several months ago. Totally understandable that they had scheduled a follow-up appointment. Was it a follow-up to see how she was doing in the glasses that had been prescribed? If so, since you refused to get her the glasses, it is understandable that it was missed. 

I want to say this gently, but I think you should consider the possibility that it is your emotional baggage around your relationship with your ex that has "mucked with her eyes," not your ex's ego. It sounds like he is just trying to make sure his kid has optimal care and appropriate intervention in a timely fashion. 

Miranda


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## lauren (Nov 20, 2001)

Based on everything I've read here, it does sound like the conflicts with the ex are introducing additional stress and confusion to the process. And it is hard when someone is difficult to communicate with. The fact also is that you don't seem to like or trust the optometry practice that he selected. I suspect this will come up over and over again as you co-parent, so it could be good to get something put into your custody agreement around 'the child will see providers and practitioners that both parents are comfortable with.'

It seems fair and tolerable that you could talk to your ex about just getting a second opinion since that is a normal thing that people do. As long as they don't do dilation of her eyes and it is just another routine exam, that seems like a good compromise.

The original optometrist wants you to bring her in because they can't bill anything without the patient present. They can bill a consult if she is there, but not if she isn't.


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