# from dr. phil's website



## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

a co-sleeping momma was on the dr. phil show today. her hubby was upset that he wasnt getting enough "me" time and he stated that his children from his last marriage are now codependent because they co-slept. it was frustrating to watch because this woman obviously wants whats best for her son and loves being near her son, and her hubby seems to be acting like a child himself.

taken from the website

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Dr. Phil does not support parents and children regularly sharing a bed, which is known as co-sleeping. In his view, having children in the parental bed can be very disruptive to a healthy adult relationship, and can also cause regressive behavior on the part of the child.

If it's difficult for your child to sleep alone, Dr. Phil suggests discussing the issue during daylight hours - not at bedtime. Establish rules, and make it clear that your bedroom is off limits for sleeping. Comfort your child by being available, but allow co-sleeping only on special circumstances (such as the occasional thunderstorm).

Get kids excited about the independence of sleeping in their own room. Make a game out of it, giving them gold stars or rewards for making progress. Start a new habit of going into your child's room and reading a bedtime story - but do not sleep there. To help a child overcome fear of the dark, Dr. Phil suggests buying a lamp dimmer, so that with "successive approximations" - not one big leap - the child will feel more comfortable and safe. It may be difficult at first, but in a short time, children will develop their own methods of soothing themselves and feel safe, secure and comfortable under their own covers.

Still, Dr. Phil acknowledges that there are reputable sources on both sides of the debate:

The Pros
1) Babies sleep longer through the night (Dr. Sears)
2) No nighttime separation anxiety (Dr. Sears, Dr. Phil)
3) Easier to breast feed at night (Dr. Sears)
4) Time to bond with baby (Dr. Sears, Dr. Phil)
5) Studies show decreased chance of SIDS (Dr. Sears, James K. McKenna, PhD)

The Cons
1) Parents can roll over on baby (AAP; CPSC)
2) Baby can fall off the bed (AAP; CPSC)
3) Baby can fall between wall and headboard (American AAP; CPSC)
4) Baby can suffocate in loose bedding (AAP; CPSC)
5) May interfere with sex life and intimacy (Dr. Phil)
6) Creates co-dependency (Dr. Schmitt M.D., Dr. Phil)
7) Does not reduce chance of SIDS (AAP; CPSC)

CPSC - The Consumer Product Safety Commission
AAP - American Academy of Pediatrics

message board topic
http://boards.drphil.com/[email protected]@.f045f65/8!skip=15&ex=.f045f65/8&view=T


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

What a crock! When are people gonna stop taking advice from this quack?


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Yeah, well what do you expect from that guy? :LOL


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## Colorful~Mama (Feb 20, 2003)

does anyone else think he just looks 'suspicious'. i think its those beady eyes


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## mamatoady (Mar 16, 2004)

wanna know what i think of Dr. Phil's crappy advice?

uke uke uke uke uke uke

'nuff said?


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Grrrr! I am actually watching it right now. I don't co-sleep but I think its wonderful if it works for you. He is so against AP, I wish he would just admit it. There was a show once where he was bashing extended nursing. Too bad so many people take his word as gospel.


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoady*
wanna know what i think of Dr. Phil's crappy advice?

uke uke uke uke uke uke

'nuff said?










very good reaction! I cannot stand dr. phil. I can't even stand to watch the ads promo-ing his upcoming shows because he bugs me that quickly.
Amy


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

Grrr. He rubs me the wrong way. Does anyone know - where from exactly does he get his title "Dr." ? I don't know much about him but I thought he was a civil litigation lawyer prior to this talk show stint.

In fact, I should clarify. I have only made it through about 20 minutes of one of his shows. I just don't like his personality on camera.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I like Dr. Phil and I do not think he is anti AP at all. In fact on todays show he really didnt bash cosleeping at all. I think he has valid reasons for not being supportive of cosleeping, though I disagree, but I agree with him that these people should not be having sex in the same bad along with their toddler beside them. That is GROSS. (I could give some TMI reasons as to why I feel this way)
Also he has not talked negatively about extended nursing -- the show you are talking about is about a mother who was nursing an 8 year old and a baby. The woman didnt want to do it but felt she needed too (for the 8 yer old). The child was manipulating her and making her mother feel uncomfortable. He talked about not extended breastfeeding if the mother did not desire it, that it had to be mutual. Which I Agree! I do not feel comfortable breastfeeding past 18-24 months but I am not against others doing it. I do think though that children can manipulate and use nursing to manipulate their parents * I have seen many children do this and I think its not a nursing issue, but a discipline one *


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jaffapearl*
I was watch the cbs morning show a little while back and they were talkiong about buying cribs second hand among other things and they were talking about if you could get a pop can through the bars on the crib then it was hazard for the baby and then they quoted a large number of deaths in cribs...I can't remeber the exact number but I was shocked it was big.It got me wondering about why they harp on co-sleeping all the time for the dangers but still push crib sleeping without giving the statistics that they do for co-sleeping? I realize that there are many people that don't co sleep and that is fine It works for our family. Dr Phil rubs me the wrong way when it comes to parenting advice. I saw a show where robin redid the nursery for a woman it was ugly plus I didn't hear her asking the woman how she was going to parent... that show really ticked me off

Be careful when you knock what people have done for others. You don't know, someone on this very board could have contributed their skill, designs, and craftmanship to design that nursery. :::cough::: You may not realize that some of those nursery items were done be a WAHM who has kids, breastfeeds and cosleeps.


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## ZanZansMommy (Nov 8, 2003)

Saw the show & I thought he tried to soften his stance on co-sleeping to the *viewing* audience because he knew he'd be lambasted







. He kept talking about credible organizations (the AAP --whatelse







: ) which had done studies to show that *hundreds of children have died from co-sleeping*. Well this woman corrected him:applause. Interestingly enough here he is talking about the recommendations of the AAP & then he tells these people he's going to give them a tape so their son can watch before he goes to bed







Guess he doesn't know that this credible organization recommends that children under 2 not watch T.V. What a dope.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I saw the show, and I was not impressed. I wish all these mainstream people would advocate all the "AP" stuff, but I guess then they wouldn't be mainstream. Sometimes I think Dr. Phil is pretty good, but this show







It's like a cult, these talk shows, dr.phil and oprah... doesn't anyone else think when they watch it that almost every sahm is watching it too?


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
Also he has not talked negatively about extended nursing -- the show you are talking about is about a mother who was nursing an 8 year old and a baby. The woman didnt want to do it but felt she needed too (for the 8 yer old). The child was manipulating her and making her mother feel uncomfortable. He talked about not extended breastfeeding if the mother did not desire it, that it had to be mutual. Which I Agree! I do not feel comfortable breastfeeding past 18-24 months but I am not against others doing it. I do think though that children can manipulate and use nursing to manipulate their parents * I have seen many children do this and I think its not a nursing issue, but a discipline one *

The show that you're referring to was about an 8 year still breastfeeding, however, dr. phil also said that there was no reason to breastfeed at all after 6 months and you should stop after 6 months. He said something to the effect that formula is just as good as breastmilk these days. He faced alot of critism for this show and changed the info on his website, but that show continues to run in reruns every now and then.
Amy


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
The show that you're referring to was about an 8 year still breastfeeding, however, dr. phil also said that there was no reason to breastfeed at all after 6 months and you should stop after 6 months. He said something to the effect that formula is just as good as breastmilk these days. He faced alot of critism for this show and changed the info on his website, but that show continues to run in reruns every now and then.
Amy

Amy I have the show on tape and he does not say that at all! He also does not say to the effect that formula is just as good as breastmilk. He also never mentions a cut off time for nursing during the show, and even mentions that it is recommended through 1 year of age but not that you have to stop. He says it has to be mutual.


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## levar (Jan 28, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
I like Dr. Phil and I do not think he is anti AP at all. In fact on todays show he really didnt bash cosleeping at all.

?
Ditto. He specifically mentioned BABIES vs KIDS too. And seemed to be promoting "discussion" between parents for the good of the marriage AND family.

Actually, I came to this post because I saw and LIKED what he said. Unlike previous shows (other than Dr Phil) that I have seen, Dr Phil acknowledged AP and Co-Sleeping as having benefits and quoted (positively) Dr Sears too. I saw the segment as a "thumbs up" for AP? Not "thumbs down".


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## mittendrin (Nov 5, 2003)

yeah, what exactly is the guy a dr. for anyways?
i can't stand that arrogant jerk.

can somebody tell me what "co-dependence" means? yes, my kid is dependant on me, cosleeping or not. does it mean, that if ds sleeps in his own bed from day one one, he'll have a job and an apartment by the time he's 10 and i finally won't have to worry about caring for that little sucker anymore? can't wait....


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
Amy I have the show on tape and he does not say that at all! He also does not say to the effect that formula is just as good as breastmilk. He also never mentions a cut off time for nursing during the show, and even mentions that it is recommended through 1 year of age but not that you have to stop. He says it has to be mutual.

huh? really....oh well. there was a whole discussion about that show on a different website that I visit. I didn't see the show, but they described it that way and how anti-breastfeeding he came accross. Oh well, whatever.

He still annoys me, but then again so do all talk/advice show hosts.

Amy


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ZanZansMommy*
Saw the show & I thought he tried to soften his stance on co-sleeping to the *viewing* audience because he knew he'd be lambasted







. He kept talking about credible organizations (the AAP --whatelse







: ) which had done studies to show that *hundreds of children have died from co-sleeping*. Well this woman corrected him:applause. Interestingly enough here he is talking about the recommendations of the AAP & then he tells these people he's going to give them a tape so their son can watch before he goes to bed







Guess he doesn't know that this credible organization recommends that children under 2 not watch T.V. What a dope.

thats how i felt watching it. he just doesnt seme to be educated enough about organizations, policies, statistics, and research to comment on any style of parenting. the only thing he is good for is getting in the face of grownups who are really ruining their own lives or others lives. when it comes to the finer points of styles of living or child rearing, he is well out of his league.

he does *not* approve of co-sleeping and stated this on the show and on his website. he may "respect" dr. sears, but he also disagrees with him. too bad he can;t actually do some research.

and frankly speaking, i think there is too much ego interference with him when it comes to things like co-sleeping. if he admitted that co-sleeping seems to be an excellent way to raise a child, it might mean that he did something less than perfect with his own progeny. *gasp horror shock*

as for listing "intimacy" problems as a reason to not co-sleep what a crock o' hooey! ever heard of the couch, the second bedroom, the dining room rug, the kitchen ......


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *levar*
?
Ditto. He specifically mentioned BABIES vs KIDS too. And seemed to be promoting "discussion" between parents for the good of the marriage AND family.

Actually, I came to this post because I saw and LIKED what he said. Unlike previous shows (other than Dr Phil) that I have seen, Dr Phil acknowledged AP and Co-Sleeping as having benefits and quoted (positively) Dr Sears too. I saw the segment as a "thumbs up" for AP? Not "thumbs down".

anyone who knew nothing baout AP would have gotten the distinct impression that co-sleeping is dangerous and dr. phil stated that he doesn't approve, but that there are some who do. and he kept mentioning that the AAP does not approve. he mentioned dr. sears as said that he respects dr. sears, but disagrees with him.

i would say thats anti-ap. IN A NICE WAY but anti-ap none the less.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geekgolightly*
anyone who knew nothing baout AP would have gotten the distinct impression that co-sleeping is dangerous and dr. phil stated that he doesn't approve, but that there are some who do. and he kept mentioning that the AAP does not approve. he mentioned dr. sears as said that he respects dr. sears, but disagrees with him.

i would say thats anti-ap. IN A NICE WAY but anti-ap none the less.

disagreeing with cosleeping does not mean anti-ap. some of you are extremist in your opinions.

I personally do not think extended nursing 3, 4 and 5 year olds is a good thing but that doesnt mean I am against extended nursing. I think there are valid points to not cosleep, I make a choice to cosleep, but if I didn't, I do not think that would make me less AP. Not everyone is comfortable with cosleeping, and also medications, overly tired, obesity (yes, obesity) can factor into why some may not cosleep.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
disagreeing with cosleeping does not mean anti-ap. some of you are extremist in your opinions.

I personally do not think extended nursing 3, 4 and 5 year olds is a good thing but that doesnt mean I am against extended nursing. I think there are valid points to not cosleep, I make a choice to cosleep, but if I didn't, I do not think that would make me less AP. Not everyone is comfortable with cosleeping, and also medications, overly tired, obesity (yes, obesity) can factor into why some may not cosleep.

being against co-sleeping is very different from choosing not to because it isnt right for you. he said he was AGAINST it.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geekgolightly*
being against co-sleeping is very different from choosing not to because it isnt right for you. he said he was AGAINST it.

And his reasons are valid. I actually understand what he means by codependency and interferring with marriages/intimacy. He also is not saying "my way or the highway" on the issue, just stating his opinion and how he doesnt agree with it.


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## Rainbow (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
disagreeing with cosleeping does not mean anti-ap. some of you are extremist in your opinions.

I personally do not think extended nursing 3, 4 and 5 year olds is a good thing but that doesnt mean I am against extended nursing. I think there are valid points to not cosleep, I make a choice to cosleep, but if I didn't, I do not think that would make me less AP. Not everyone is comfortable with cosleeping, and also medications, overly tired, obesity (yes, obesity) can factor into why some may not cosleep.

Really? I didn't know anyone on this board would think it is not a good thing for me to nurse my 3 yr old







I'm suprised.


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## acystay (Aug 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geekgolightly*
anyone who knew nothing baout AP would have gotten the distinct impression that co-sleeping is dangerous and dr. phil stated that he doesn't approve, but that there are some who do. and he kept mentioning that the AAP does not approve. he mentioned dr. sears as said that he respects dr. sears, but disagrees with him.

i would say thats anti-ap. IN A NICE WAY but anti-ap none the less.









ITA!!!

I do watch Dr. Phil and like some of his advice on things; however, I do find he is anti-AP. He specifically asked Dr. Karp about toddlerease and mentioned that was giving into the toddler and if he thought that was a bad idea. Kuddos to Dr. karp for saying no







And I also (correct me if I'm wrong) remember from that EBF segment the mom had started nursing the 8 yr old again as a toddler. The mom was mentioning how she believed in child-led weaning and her toddler had done this. Then when the 2nd baby came along (some like 8 mos later) the toddler wanted to nurse again and the mom allowed it. Dr. Phil's stance (and this is the way I see it too) was that she had weaned and was self-weaned and then you (the mom) let her do it again. I do believe though he does give loving advice and helps a great many families improve their situations.

Does anyone know where there's a reported number of SIDS deaths and family bed deaths? If I'm also correct in remember my stats, more children die in cribs than in the family bed.


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## HerthElde (Sep 18, 2003)

This show didn't bother me as much as the one where Robin decorated the nursery. When she talked about giving Jay his bottle in the morning, I thought "Uh oh . . . now there will be even more women that think formula is as good as breastmilk. I mean, if Robin did it . . . "
With the co-sleepng though, I have the local hospital on my side. This is from their post-partum booklet:
"Some parents find it helps if baby shares the same bed with them at night. This can make breastfeeding easier and helps to calm the baby if they are unsettled. Many babies sleep better when they are close to their mother."
So if MIL, who faithfully watches Dr. Phil, says anything, I've got that. I do find it interesting that he didn't mention the Consumer Product Safety Commission had a part in that study . . . it also would have been nice if he would have put a link to Dr. Sears' site on his website.

eta: I do like him for the most part, though. He was part of my I WILL give birth unmedicated and i WILL breastfeed (no "trying") philosophy . . .


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Isn't Jay in his 20s? I mean breastfeeding wasn't promoted like it is now. My mother didnt breastfeed me or my brother because she thought it was gross and that only poor trash breastfed because they couldnt afford formula. That didnt stop me from nursing. Also who is to say she didnt breastfeed for a short time. Many women in the US only breastfed for the first few months and wean.

Lot of assumptions going on......


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## mamatoady (Mar 16, 2004)

and frankly speaking, i think there is too much ego interference with him when it comes to things like co-sleeping. if he admitted that co-sleeping seems to be an excellent way to raise a child, it might mean that he did something less than perfect with his own progeny. *gasp horror shock*





































as for listing "intimacy" problems as a reason to not co-sleep what a crock o' hooey! ever heard of the couch, the second bedroom, the dining room rug, the kitchen ......














[/QUOTE]

Thank you! It so ticks me off when people use this LAME excuse to not co-sleep "me me me" that's all they think about (mostly referring to the dh on the the show, my own dh, and dr. phil's of the world). We have made very good friends with a blanket on the living room floor, thank you very much! And because of that, my dd can continue to receive the love and attention she needs during the moonlit hours!


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## Glittergal (Feb 17, 2003)

Do you know what really bothered me about the show?
The fact that the title was extreme parenting and the first two situations were families in terrible distress. I could barely sit through the verbal abuse witnessed in the first tape and then the fact that the next mom lets her 6th grader drink and have an 18 yr old boy spend the night. I mean, big deal about cosleeping and sex - it seemed obvious to me they could work out a simple solution and her plan was to cosleep only a few more months. Why put a cosleeping family alongside the other extreme cases? I mean, I don't think even people who are anti-cosleeping would put it in the same league as the two other family situations!


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## JCEmommy (Mar 22, 2004)

I honestly do not care what he says about cosleeping because my kids are still in bed with us.


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

What I hate about Dr Phil is that he thinks he can solve other people's problems in 30 minutes. What a crock of sh*t. So many people just think he's God and do whatever he says blindly. I think that in itself is anti-AP. Not thinking for YOURSELF and doing what YOU feel is right.
Ya'll are right, there's a huge difference between being against something and just not doing it for your situation. Like, Onthefence, you need to make up your mind if you're against EB or if it's just not right in your situation. There's a difference. Like, when I say I'm against shooting heroin, I don't mean that it just doesn't feel right for me, but it's okay for other people. I mean I'm against it. KWIM?


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## slightlycrunchyann (Apr 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *acystay*







ITA!!!

Does anyone know where there's a reported number of SIDS deaths and family bed deaths? If I'm also correct in remember my stats, more children die in cribs than in the family bed.

You're right, I don't remember the exact numbers, but way more SIDS cases occur from a baby in a crib than in the family bed. Yet we don't see news stories screaming "BABIES IN CRIBS ACCOUNT FOR 75% OF SIDS CASES! ALL CRIB TO BE RECALLED!"

Climbing off my







now.









Anne & Riley 20 months


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dready*mama*
What I hate about Dr Phil is that he thinks he can solve other people's problems in 30 minutes. What a crock of sh*t. So many people just think he's God and do whatever he says blindly. I think that in itself is anti-AP. Not thinking for YOURSELF and doing what YOU feel is right.
Ya'll are right, there's a huge difference between being against something and just not doing it for your situation. Like, Onthefence, you need to make up your mind if you're against EB or if it's just not right in your situation. There's a difference. Like, when I say I'm against shooting heroin, I don't mean that it just doesn't feel right for me, but it's okay for other people. I mean I'm against it. KWIM?


I believe Dr. Phil has said numerous time that he cant solve problems in 30 min. That is why he arranges resources and counseling for the people who come on his show.


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## tricia80 (Oct 28, 2003)

ok here is my .02 i havent read all the posts so i have no idea what has been said...

I dont like him... i think he is a crock... i personally have never rolled over on dd in the last 5 1/2 yrs... not once... and thats cuz even tho im sleeping my body is quite aware she is there and such... i do not know why ur baby would be up soo high by ur headboard to get caught anyways... and i have a bed on a box spring on the floor... and have always had a low bed.. and not once has she ever fallen off... my ex-dh tried putting dd in crib.. she didnt like so she climbed out and fell a few times... personally i can understand why she doesnt like it.. it looks like a kiddy jail....

ok jus my .02

this guy drives me









ETA: i didnt watch the show so i had no clue what he said.. i jus read what the OP was said from the website... ok back to class i go...


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

now, granted, I aven't watched an entire show since i saw him on Oprah, but on the one show I saw (when he was still on Oprah), he said, "It is never never never never never a good idea to have a child in bed with the parents." actually repeated "never" five times. I had it taped and counted. This was a mom who had her 6yo and 4 yo co-sleeping with her and was getting remarried and her fiance had a problem with it. She was fine with it, the kids were happy and well-adjusted. I was furious (especially since I thought I was taping something else, wrong day), haven't been able to stomach him since.

Oh, I thought his his doctorate is in something like business or something like that. Like Dr. Laura's is in English. But apparently it's in psych! He's still full of it.


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

onthefence~that's fine for him to work w/ other people in (very expensive, I'm sure) therapy sessions. But the point of the show is for him to give advice and a way to live to all the people out in TV land. I won't argue about what he does and doesn't say on his show. I'm proud to say I have better things to do with my time than listen to him yakkin.


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## majazama (Aug 2, 2003)

I think that sometimes mr. phil (haha) can be pretty good at staightening out some majorly f******-up people. He does have some wise things to say, as does everyone. I watch the show out of habit, BTW.

But I abhore (sp?) his veiwpoint that everyone can be fit into the same mold. He's like a capitalist who's taking it to these poor working people. He yells at them. If I was on that show and was talked to by him, I think I would cry, by the way he talks to everyone, like they are stupid, and HE knows everything. He never admits that he might be wrong about anything, even when the poor people that he talks to are right, sometimes.

Anyways, I guess I've totally contradicted myself with these past two paragraphs. I just have conflicting feelings about that show.


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## azyre (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:

and frankly speaking, i think there is too much ego interference with him when it comes to things like co-sleeping. if he admitted that co-sleeping seems to be an excellent way to raise a child, it might mean that he did something less than perfect with his own progeny. *gasp horror shock*
I think this is so true. His kids are older now, and perhaps he didn't have the data that suggests otherwise. He can't go back and redo it so he's "making the decision right" rather than the right decision (oi, I got him back with his own dogma hehehe)

But I don't think he has a lot of empathy - especially empathy for the REALITY of being a mother. He seems to tell people off a lot for being selfless, like it is stupid. When the reality is, being a mother is about being selfless often (even if not always) and if you don't get a handle on it, learn to enjoy it's rewards, you're sunk.

The intimacy argument is ridiculous as far as I'm concerned - adults are allowed to enjoy comfort and touch and being conencted but children aren't?? It's not one or the other, both can experience it in the family bed. Sex can be had elsewhere. I don't like the mentality that if the child is there the husband is playing second fiddle, it smacks of jealousy. I guess many adults do get jealous tho, because they have waited a long time for their needs to be met and they don't want to share


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## ctdoula (Dec 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *levar*
?
Ditto. He specifically mentioned BABIES vs KIDS too. And seemed to be promoting "discussion" between parents for the good of the marriage AND family.

Actually, I came to this post because I saw and LIKED what he said. Unlike previous shows (other than Dr Phil) that I have seen, Dr Phil acknowledged AP and Co-Sleeping as having benefits and quoted (positively) Dr Sears too. I saw the segment as a "thumbs up" for AP? Not "thumbs down".

ITA!!!! I was very impressed that he specificially metioned Dr. Sears & that a lot of people who know more about those things then he does believe in co-sleeping, etc. He also didn't tell the mom that she MUST get the baby out, but rather tried to get them to work together to find a solution that works with both parents.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
And his reasons are valid. I actually understand what he means by codependency and interferring with marriages/intimacy. He also is not saying "my way or the highway" on the issue, just stating his opinion and how he doesnt agree with it.


actually his reasons are not valid. if you would like to further this theory that co-sleeping causes co-dependency, please support this claim. thanks


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dready*mama*
What I hate about Dr Phil is that he thinks he can solve other people's problems in 30 minutes. What a crock of sh*t. So many people just think he's God and do whatever he says blindly. I think that in itself is anti-AP. Not thinking for YOURSELF and doing what YOU feel is right.
Ya'll are right, there's a huge difference between being against something and just not doing it for your situation. Like, Onthefence, you need to make up your mind if you're against EB or if it's just not right in your situation. There's a difference. Like, when I say I'm against shooting heroin, I don't mean that it just doesn't feel right for me, but it's okay for other people. I mean I'm against it. KWIM?

i dont know... i think dr. phil is really good for some situations. some people need a wake up call, and dr. phil provides that. and he does follow up more thoroughly than any other of these talk show hosts. he is constantly bringing the same people back to check on them and provides them with real counselors and other help as needed.

he just bugged the %&*^ outa me about the co-sleeping thing.

i agree with your analogy about heroin. he said he was against it both in print and on television. you dont get much more ANTI than that.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dnr3301*
now, granted, I aven't watched an entire show since i saw him on Oprah, but on the one show I saw (when he was still on Oprah), he said, "It is never never never never never a good idea to have a child in bed with the parents." actually repeated "never" five times. I had it taped and counted. This was a mom who had her 6yo and 4 yo co-sleeping with her and was getting remarried and her fiance had a problem with it. She was fine with it, the kids were happy and well-adjusted. I was furious (especially since I thought I was taping something else, wrong day), haven't been able to stomach him since.

Oh, I thought his his doctorate is in something like business or something like that. Like Dr. Laura's is in English. But apparently it's in psych! He's still full of it.

That was on his show the very first season and not Oprah. Personally I think he was right on. I dont think its a good idea to have a 6 and 4 year old in your bed when you are starting a new marital/sexual relationship.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

That made me so mad! It so _against_ human nature for children to sleep alone. Can you imagine tribal people having their kid just sleeping alone? There goes the kid for the lion's dinner. Kids know they need to be close to a "big person" at night for safety and the comfort that comes along with that. They need us during the day, why would that suddenly change at night?

The thing that makes me the saddest is how many babies will be left isolated in their own room because of his stance on co-sleeping. Very sad.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
That was on his show the very first season and not Oprah. Personally I think he was right on. I dont think its a good idea to have a 6 and 4 year old in your bed when you are starting a new marital/sexual relationship.

... maybe i am extreme.. it was weird when someone in this thread said that... was it you? anyways, i never thought of myself as extreme, but if i ever had to get divorced and then have a new relationship, i am sure that i would not kick my children out of bed just to have a new relationship. things like that can wait or be worked around the children. i believe fully that children are more important and if whomever i am dating or remarrying doesnt see it this way, i know i havent met someone with the same values.

(btw, she didnt have the six and four year old in bed with them. the six and four year old wanted to sleep in a bed with each other. it was the 18 mo that was in bed with them, but you have brought up an interesting point, even if it had nothing to do with the show.)

my child(ren) will leave the bed when we are all ready. it was be a slow gradual loving process.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaAllNatural*







That made me so mad! It so _against_ human nature for children to sleep alone. Can you imagine tribal people having their kid just sleeping alone? There goes the kid for the lion's dinner. Kids know they need to be close to a "big person" at night for safety and the comfort that comes along with that. They need us during the day, why would that suddenly change at night?

The thing that makes me the saddest is how many babies will be left isolated in their own room because of his stance on co-sleeping. Very sad.









i remember the anecdote in the sears book. an anthropologist is discussing sleep situations with a woman in africa. the woman asks "is it true that american women keep theri babies in _cages_ at night?"

that hits home.


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Ok, I can actually agree that it may not be a good idea to start a new marriage out with a 4 and a 6 yr old in bed. I don't know what the solution is since they've been sleeping there all along, but I think when you're starting a brand new marriage, it might be a good idea to have some privacy in the bedroom.
On the other hand, I think this is one of the few situations in which i wouldn't think family bed would work out. Most all other situation where mom and dad are already in the bed and just continue to do that and the babies sleep with them from the start, i think that's just fine, infact that's what we do. I do think that Dr. Phil doesn't agree......so, I have to wonder if he is disagreeing with co-sleeping on this show in general --- or is he just specifically saying that this unusual situation may pose a problem.
It sort of sounds like he's taking a topic that may not work out (cosleeping with kids in a brand new marriage) and trying to generalize it out and then talk about co-sleeping in general. I don' know though, i didn't see the show.
Amy


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## mommy2be (Mar 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dready*mama*
onthefence~that's fine for him to work w/ other people in (very expensive, I'm sure) therapy sessions. But the point of the show is for him to give advice and a way to live to all the people out in TV land. I won't argue about what he does and doesn't say on his show. I'm proud to say I have better things to do with my time than listen to him yakkin.









just wanted to add: dr.phil always says he cant solve problems on his show, he sets people up, and his network/show pays for the counseling/therapy/etc.

wow, some mama's are really taking offense to dr.phil.......isnt everyone entitled to their own opinion? at least he respects others opinions, he said on the show that you are all talking about that he is good friends w/william sears and that although he doesnt agree w/every aspect of their opinions, he respects them and thought they were important to share.
and, as far as the cosleeping being on the 'extreme parenting' show, im pretty sure he was talking about them having sex in the bed w/the toddler, not simply because she was cosleeping. also, after reading these posts by everyone that hates dr.phil for being anti ap (which i dont know if i totally agree with that) there was a lot of cussing and so many women on here complain about their dh's for some reason or another.....is that ap? just curious. im sure i will get a lot of nasty replies to this, but if you dont like dr.phil---dont watch him. i watch his show every day, but i dont 'worship' him like many people think an avid watcher does. i actually dont know anyone who does?? but, im sure they do exist. i can watch his show, enjoy it, whether i agree with everything he says or not, i still like to watch it.
everything on television works the same way. im a christian and love the lord, and i sure see lots of television shows and even threads on this website that teach/support raising your kids in a non-christian way, (dr.phil occasionally) but like everything else....i dont agree with it, but im not going to fight with other mama's about it. it seems like everyone on here is attacking onthefence. oh well, im rambling and im sure making people mad, not at all my intention....


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
I do think that Dr. Phil doesn't agree......so, I have to wonder if he is disagreeing with co-sleeping on this show in general --- or is he just specifically saying that this unusual situation may pose a problem.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *dr. phil's website*
Dr. Phil does not support parents and children regularly sharing a bed, which is known as co-sleeping.


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

geekgolightly said:


> the woman asks "is it true that american women keep theri babies in _cages_ at night?"QUOTE]
> 
> Wow, that is really powerful. Sometimes it's good to get a new perspective.


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

I know it's sorta OT, but since we've about argued it to death, did any see that Dear Abby column a year ago that was anti-cosleeping? Just makes me wonder how much people actually take living and parenting advice from the newspaper and TV?


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

Yes! I remember that one. It was about the 3 week old baby. They didn't even give the reason of how or why it happened. I'm sure so many people read that and now they say they "know someone" who that happened to. I was surprised there were never any rebuttals to that one. The letter wasn't even from anyone related to the family. It was the teacher of a student who would be attending the funeral I think.


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

If I recall correctly, it was actually from a parent of a child who's teacher had just had her neice die in a family bed. I wanted to write to her so bad and tell her what a disservice she was doing to parents to scare them like that with no facts on the actual situation. But I was also very pregnant and moving houses and didn't feel like writing. Maybe we should do it now! Glad someone else remembers that!


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## MamaAllNatural (Mar 10, 2004)

That's right. I was pregnant too and wanted to write to her too!:LOL I just had way too much going on though but I've always still thought about it.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
Ok, I can actually agree that it may not be a good idea to start a new marriage out with a 4 and a 6 yr old in bed. I don't know what the solution is since they've been sleeping there all along, but I think when you're starting a brand new marriage, it might be a good idea to have some privacy in the bedroom.
On the other hand, I think this is one of the few situations in which i wouldn't think family bed would work out. Most all other situation where mom and dad are already in the bed and just continue to do that and the babies sleep with them from the start, i think that's just fine, infact that's what we do. I do think that Dr. Phil doesn't agree......so, I have to wonder if he is disagreeing with co-sleeping on this show in general --- or is he just specifically saying that this unusual situation may pose a problem.
It sort of sounds like he's taking a topic that may not work out (cosleeping with kids in a brand new marriage) and trying to generalize it out and then talk about co-sleeping in general. I don' know though, i didn't see the show.
Amy

I think he disagrees with cosleeping in general but also has stated on his shows that there are benefits to it, especially for working parents. He says there are pros and cons to each.
I have coslept with two of my children. One child did not like cosleeping. He liked to be in a cold dark room with a fleece blanket, head pointing north in his crib. My oldest coslept with us on and off till 3, where we eventualy kicked her out. I didnt like my body to hurt, I didnt like to be kicked, I wanted to have sex in my own bed, we were all uncomfortable -- no traumatic side effects from doing this. My youngest is 2, and he is in and out of our bed but this summer we are going to impose a sleep schedule. Frankly I am feeling the same way -- I hurt all over. He is a bed hog. He stays up too late because he doesnt want to go to bed until we do and I work nights.
Extended nursing and cosleeping are one of those things that needs to be mutual. If one party no longer enjoys it, if it begins to hurt your health, sleep, etc. If you get resentful or it hurts your marriage -- its time to do something different.


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## Rebecca (Dec 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
Be careful when you knock what people have done for others. You don't know, someone on this very board could have contributed their skill, designs, and craftmanship to design that nursery. :::cough::: You may not realize that some of those nursery items were done be a WAHM who has kids, breastfeeds and cosleeps.

Onthefence, you know a lot about Dr Phil. Is there something you're not telling us? Spill it, girlfriend!









I personally like dr phil a lot. He gives the needed wake up calls to people who really need it. The only thing that really bugged me about this episode was that the co sleeping issue was grouped with abusive situations. Obviously, there's a big difference.


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## momsgotmilk4two (Sep 24, 2002)

It bugs me how he gangs up on the mom on this issue when the dad disagrees. Whatever happened to parents working out some sort of compromise, coming to an agreement? Just because *he* doesn't like the idea of co sleeping he has to tell the mom, "no, you're wrong". There are plenty of dads (like my dh) who like co sleeping just fine and recognize that it's often the best thing for the whole family. A rested mommy is usually better for the entire family in the long run and when my kids were little that is the only way I could sleep. When my babies are newborns I just can NOT sleep if they are not actually touching me. Just the way I'm programmed I guess and it seems to be the way my babies have been programmed too because they would fuss and stir unless they were right next to me. Dh actually loves it when our two year old comes in bed in the wee hours of the morning for a snuggle now. Those moments are precious and fleeting and I don't need any study to tell me if it's right or wrong.


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *geekgolightly*
i remember the anecdote in the sears book. an anthropologist is discussing sleep situations with a woman in africa. the woman asks "is it true that american women keep theri babies in _cages_ at night?"

It's nice that we in America have the luxury of being able to debate the merits of the family bed. Moms in most of the world don't have cribs because they aren't available to them -- not because they carefully evaluated their options and made "the decision that was best for them." They don't HAVE options like we do. So I think bringing some third-world mother's rather ignorant comment (I use the word ignorant in its true sense of simply "lacking knowledge" and truly don't mean it as derogatory) into a thread like this where privileged mothers are discussing their CHOICE to sleep with or without their kids is pretty pointless.

I own a crib. I am not planning to cosleep. If it works for some families, that's fine, but DH and I have discussed this and mutually decided it's not something we want to do in our home for various reasons. The upper level of our house is very small, and I can see the crib in the nursery across the hall from my spot in bed. It's about 15 feet away. I can easily respond to my infant's needs without bringing him into our bed. The crib is for his own protection. It's not a cage. It's not a jail. It's a bed with safe walls to keep him from falling out. It's a safe place to sleep that I am able to provide for him because I'm NOT an impoverished mother in Africa. And your cosleeping kids may be just as safe as my son will be in his crib, but then, that's because you're not impoverished mothers in Africa, either.

I just thank the Lord that I (and most of you posting on this thread, I assume) live in a prosperous and advanced society where we have so many choices about how to raise our kids. The rest of the world may not do things the "mainstream American" way, but that's mostly because they can't, not because they choose not to. Maybe if they could, they still would choose not to, but until they have the choice, it's pointless to speculate or make comparisons, IMO.

Edited to sound slightly less pissy.


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

LOL I knew there would be a...ummmm...pasionate response to that show on this board!

I enjoy Dr Phil. I think he has some wonderful wonderful advice on many topics. The first family on the show that also included the co-sleeping segment (the boy who had killed his hamster) was wonderful.

I co-slept with my DS Till he was a year or so and decided he slept better in his own bed. Anyway, I don't agree with Dr Phil on Co-sleeping, but I don't throw out the baby with the bath water. Just because I don't agree with one sentiment of his does not mean all is lost. I also think he made a point of pointing out that there were other well respected doctors whos views differed from his.

Just think how many people will be introduced to Dr Sears because of that show.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dready*mama*
What a crock! When are people gonna stop taking advice from this quack?


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jakobsmami*
yeah, what exactly is the guy a dr. for anyways?
i can't stand that arrogant jerk.










Just an FYI Dr Phill is a professional psychologist, he has published many many articles and has practiced in many fields of clinical psychology and behavioral medicine.

That is part of a bio I read on him.


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby*
It's nice that we in America have the luxury of being able to debate the merits of the family bed. Moms in most of the world don't have cribs because they aren't available to them -- not because they carefully evaluated their options and made "the decision that was best for them." They don't HAVE options like we do. So I think bringing some third-world mother's rather ignorant comment (I use the word ignorant in its true sense of simply "lacking knowledge" and truly don't mean it as derogatory) into a thread like this where privileged mothers are discussing their CHOICE to sleep with or without their kids is pretty pointless.

I own a crib. I am not planning to cosleep. If it works for some families, that's fine, but DH and I have discussed this and mutually decided it's not something we want to do in our home for various reasons. The upper level of our house is very small, and I can see the crib in the nursery across the hall from my spot in bed. It's about 15 feet away. I can easily respond to my infant's needs without bringing him into our bed. The crib is for his own protection. It's not a cage. It's not a jail. It's a bed with safe walls to keep him from falling out. It's a safe place to sleep that I am able to provide for him because I'm NOT an impoverished mother in Africa. And your cosleeping kids may be just as safe as my son will be in his crib, but then, that's because you're not impoverished mothers in Africa, either.

I just thank the Lord that I (and most of you posting on this thread, I assume) live in a prosperous and advanced society where we have so many choices about how to raise our kids. The rest of the world may not do things the "mainstream American" way, but that's mostly because they can't, not because they choose not to. Maybe if they could, they still would choose not to, but until they have the choice, it's pointless to speculate or make comparisons, IMO.

Edited to sound slightly less pissy.

I agree with you that you have the right to decide how you want to raise your children and some choices work well for some and others do not work for some other people. However, I may have missed something, but when you were quoting the person that was discussing the African woman asking if Americans have their babies sleeping in cages, it sounds like you assumed that the anthropologist was speaking to an impoverished woman. I don't remember that being stated, just that it was an African woman. I don't think we should assume that all women in africa are impoverished and that if someone in africa doesn't own a crib its because they can't. I might be reading your post wrong, but that's the assumption that I was getting from you as I read your post.
Amy


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## roseselene (Aug 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby*
It's nice that we in America have the luxury of being able to debate the merits of the family bed. Moms in most of the world don't have cribs because they aren't available to them -- not because they carefully evaluated their options and made "the decision that was best for them." They don't HAVE options like we do. So I think bringing some third-world mother's rather ignorant comment (I use the word ignorant in its true sense of simply "lacking knowledge" and truly don't mean it as derogatory) into a thread like this where privileged mothers are discussing their CHOICE to sleep with or without their kids is pretty pointless.

I own a crib. I am not planning to cosleep. If it works for some families, that's fine, but DH and I have discussed this and mutually decided it's not something we want to do in our home for various reasons. The upper level of our house is very small, and I can see the crib in the nursery across the hall from my spot in bed. It's about 15 feet away. I can easily respond to my infant's needs without bringing him into our bed. The crib is for his own protection. It's not a cage. It's not a jail. It's a bed with safe walls to keep him from falling out. It's a safe place to sleep that I am able to provide for him because I'm NOT an impoverished mother in Africa. And your cosleeping kids may be just as safe as my son will be in his crib, but then, that's because you're not impoverished mothers in Africa, either.

I just thank the Lord that I (and most of you posting on this thread, I assume) live in a prosperous and advanced society where we have so many choices about how to raise our kids. The rest of the world may not do things the "mainstream American" way, but that's mostly because they can't, not because they choose not to. Maybe if they could, they still would choose not to, but until they have the choice, it's pointless to speculate or make comparisons, IMO.

Edited to sound slightly less pissy.

Can I also add one more little comment. I noticed that your baby isn't born yet. I just wanted to say that prior to DD being born, I DID NOT BELIEVE IN COSLEEPING!!!!! I thought it was horrible, I read the things that the CPSC and the AAP write and I thought it was terrible. I heard the storied about people rolling over on their children and killing them. I vowed that we would never never do that. We had a cradle and a crib....and a dream nursery to boot. Then DD was born. Things change. Now, I'm not saying that crib sleeping isn't going to work for you....it very well may. But, I'm also saying that sometimes, some things just don't work. I don't think that some babies see cribs as being safe places to sleep. I think some babies freak out when you put them in cribs. My best friend had the same thing happen to her. She was totally against co-sleeping, and as soon as the baby was born, she realized that that was what was going to work for her particular baby. I just wanted to add that.....things happen once your children arrive, that make you feel differently than you did before.
Amy


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Rebecca*
Onthefence, you know a lot about Dr Phil. Is there something you're not telling us? Spill it, girlfriend!









I personally like dr phil a lot. He gives the needed wake up calls to people who really need it. The only thing that really bugged me about this episode was that the co sleeping issue was grouped with abusive situations. Obviously, there's a big difference.

Hey I agree, he shouldnt group cosleeping with abusive parents like that first family. I think it should have been on a different parenting show, like a show about boundaries!

And to the other question--- I'll never tell.....


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## sntm (Jan 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *roseselene*
I just wanted to say that prior to DD being born, I DID NOT BELIEVE IN COSLEEPING!!!!! .....things happen once your children arrive, that make you feel differently than you did before.
Amy










me too! funny how that happens. i started in the hospital when it was too hard to get him out of the little isolette next to the bed. he slept in a cradle next to the bed until he was 3 months, occasionally (very occasionally) coming into bed. then after he moved to his gorgeous room upstairs in his lovely crib and I started getting exhausted making the trudge up there, especially once he started teething at around 6 months, he started joining us in the middle of the night. then earlier. now he is in bed with me by the time I go to bed if not sooner.

and, honestly, i think it is brilliant! i'm so well rested and my babe actually wakes _less_ than he did before we coslept. now, my mom still isn't convinced and even my hippy childless sister thinks i'm odd, but who cares? do what works for you and your baby. just respect what their needs are and avoid being rigid.


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

Honeymoonbaby~ Are you serious? Have you done actual research on cosleeping, the history of it, etc.? Americans use cribs because we are a society that is taught that it is a sign of poverty to sleep with your kids. It's completely backwards.This is the same logic that tells people not to breastfeed, etc. I am not proud of that aspect of American culture that we should feel poor if we don't have all the "necessary" baby equipment!

Also, Monda~ I honestly don't think anyone out there is going to give a hoot about Dr. Sears if they are the kind of people that take Dr. Phil's advice. He doesn't agree with Sears, so why should his audience?


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## Rach (Nov 11, 2003)

I just wanted to say that I was against co-sleeping when I was pregnant with my daughter. Both my boyfriend and I decided it was too dangerous to have an infant in bed with us. However, when we brought our baby home, she would NOT sleep by herself. She didn't have a cry at birth, she had a high pitched scream. You can be darn sure she slept with us to save our ears if nothing else! But with me having a C-Section, it worked out for the best since I was breastfeeding. And now, I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's so easy for us to all go to bed together. While visiting relatives, we don't need to bring a playpen or borrow a crib or bassinet from cousins. And as for the sex...we've only had problems with her waking up mid-session, which happened whether she was in the bed with us, in her own bed, or in another room. I would have to say it's made our sex life better because we are creative in finding ways to have it and really appreciate it when we do.
So...my advice to all parents. *FOLLOW YOUR HEART*. It hurts me to see parents chose parenting techniques that they read in a book or hear from the television, rather than do what's best for their children. These are babies, people! Not little adults! And children are co-dependant on their parents regardless! I was formula fed, and had my own bed and when times get tough, or I need a hug, or have exciting news, my mom is still the first person I want!!!! Yes, I am out and about and on my own...it doesn't mean I want to be


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dready*mama*

Also, Monda~ I honestly don't think anyone out there is going to give a hoot about Dr. Sears if they are the kind of people that take Dr. Phil's advice. He doesn't agree with Sears, so why should his audience?

Well then, you have not taken people like me in to account....maybe you can't think it realistic for yourself...but that does not actualy make it true for others. I have a very nearly worn out set of Doctor Sears books that I love and have found invaluable. I also enjoy Dr Phil and watch him often, I even have a couple of his book.

I don't agree with 100% of what either of them say, but I am a wise enough woman to see what advice I think is sound and aply it to my life, and toss the rest.


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## anothermama (Nov 11, 2003)

I KNEW this would get things stirred up around here........

My DH and I watched it together. I thought that, FOR THE SITUATION Dr Phil gave some decent advice and he acknowledged SEVERAL times that there was other experts in this field.

That said.......
I'm really on the side on the dad in that segment. After my daughter hit a year old and started getting acrobatic on me in bed, I wanted some "me" time in bed! And I was single! At that point, I started putting her to her OWN bed sometimes, just to maintain my sanity. And it was awesome.

And they were in what appeared to be an otherwise good marriage. He seemed like a decent guy. Maybe there *was* some room for compromise there.

I think that sometimes in this whole "I'm Uber AP mama!" thing we get caught up in it and lose sight of the fact that other relationships in the family are EQUALLY important as my relationship with one of my kids. And I think it's a legitimate thing to say "It's been nearly two years and I'd like to make love to my spouse in my bed by ourselves sometimes".

And, I love Dr. Phil. I don't think he's the best resource for parents, but luckily he doesn't advertise himself that way anyway so I don't have a problem with it.


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## Pookietooth (Jul 1, 2002)

Dr. Phil: The man is an idiot! Back before DS was born and dh and I could stay up to watch Letterman, I remember Dave always did some anti-Dr. Phil stuff. I loved it. Even then we thought Dr. Phil was a bad man, and now I really believe it. He also said some very stupid things about women who were overweight, basically saying that you are only overweight because of emotional problems, totally negating the existence of health issues. Why does the man get his own show? Where's my show?


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pookietooth*
The man is an idiot! Why does the man get his own show? Where's my show?

I don't understand this trend in this thread. I understand that Dr Phil is not going to be fore everyone anymore than homebirth or cloth diapers are....but I don't understand the insulting and totaly dismisive statements. It is a little backward to totaly discount someone as being valuable to the entire population just because you have a dislike for them, and it certainly does not respect the folks who do feel benifited from him.


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Monda*
I have a very nearly worn out set of Doctor Sears books that I love and have found invaluable. I also enjoy Dr Phil and watch him often, I even have a couple of his book.

But did you get into Dr. Sears or become aware of him because of Dr. Phil?? That's what you originally said, right? That this will make people more aware of Dr. Sears? I'm going to assume you were already into Sears. If the situation were reversed, If I read a Sears book that said "I believe in co-sleeping, etc,etc, but there are people who don't agree with the practice like Dr. Phil". That doesn't make me want to jump up and buy a Dr. Phil book. I think it's the same that people who are unaware of AP are not going to get into Sears b/c Dr. Phil disagrees with him!


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## tricia80 (Oct 28, 2003)

when i was pg with dd i didnt even think of cosleeping.. we had a beautiful nursery and crib... then my exdh noticed i was utterly exhausted getting up and nursing dh and i would fall asleep nursing her in a chair.. so he suggested that i bring her to bed so she can nurse and i can sleep...

from that point on it was great... i got sleep... and dd was calm... i was worried that one day i would roll over on her.. but its the same as it is now.. im unconciously aware shes there and have never not once rolled over on her... we have 2 seperate beds joined together and she actually stays on her side unless she needs me... so to each their own i guess


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

Here is what you said that I responded to.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dready*mama*

Also, Monda~ I honestly don't think anyone out there is going to give a hoot about Dr. Sears if they are the kind of people that take Dr. Phil's advice. He doesn't agree with Sears, so why should his audience?


I am a member of Dr. Phil's audience, and I also like Dr Sears. So that means I do give a hoot. Your views are not mine in this case, and that means that generlizing peoples interests based on if they watch Dr. Phil is not accurate in my case.

To answer your other question, I have know and watched Dr. Phil for longer than I have read Dr Sears, but my knowlege of each was independant of each other, not that that changes my response to your original generalization of Dr. Phils audience, as not giving a hoot about Dr Sears....


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## lauraess (Mar 8, 2002)

"Dr. Phil" What a joke, ha-ha. He's not offcially a dr. as far as i understand it. and he's just another hyped up 'expert'- oprah professed at that too. He had some good points for some persons with problems but not anything so extraordinarily ground-breaking- and now with Oprahs help he's become the t.v. shrink of the moment. Thats it. anyone is better off spending their time With their children or with a friend or with THEMSELVES than listening to this idiot.
Laura


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lauraess*







"Dr. Phil" What a joke, ha-ha. He's not offcially a dr. as far as i understand it. and he's just another hyped up 'expert'-
Laura

_Dr. Phil was awarded a football scholarship to the University of Tulsa, and then finished his degree at Midwestern State University in Wichita Falls, Texas. Later, *he earned his doctorate in psychology at the University of North Texas*. In 1979, Dr. Phil opened a practice with his father, who got his psychology degree at the age of 40._


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

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I don't understand this trend in this thread. I understand that Dr Phil is not going to be fore everyone anymore than homebirth or cloth diapers are....but I don't understand the insulting and totaly dismisive statements. It is a little backward to totaly discount someone as being valuable to the entire population just because you have a dislike for them, and it certainly does not respect the folks who do feel benifited from him.


























































































































I have wanted to post on this thread from the start, but because of the ridiculous and immature name calling and assumptions for a person who most do not know personally is really disheartening. Just because you disagree with someones opinion doesn't give you the right to bash and name call. As far as Dr. Phil is concerned; who in the world decided to assume he wasn't a doctor? Do research before you judge and start rumors. I disagree with his style of "mainstream" parenting but that is beside the point


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

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Originally Posted by *lauraess*







"Dr. Phil" What a joke, ha-ha. He's not offcially a dr. as far as i understand it. and he's just another hyped up 'expert'- oprah professed at that too. He had some good points for some persons with problems but not anything so extraordinarily ground-breaking- and now with Oprahs help he's become the t.v. shrink of the moment. Thats it. anyone is better off spending their time With their children or with a friend or with THEMSELVES than listening to this idiot.
Laura


OMG! Get your facts straight before posting....


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

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Originally Posted by *dready*mama*
Honeymoonbaby~ Are you serious? Have you done actual research on cosleeping, the history of it, etc.? Americans use cribs because we are a society that is taught that it is a sign of poverty to sleep with your kids. It's completely backwards.This is the same logic that tells people not to breastfeed, etc. I am not proud of that aspect of American culture that we should feel poor if we don't have all the "necessary" baby equipment!

Also, Monda~ I honestly don't think anyone out there is going to give a hoot about Dr. Sears if they are the kind of people that take Dr. Phil's advice. He doesn't agree with Sears, so why should his audience?

I'd like a double scoop of both of these points.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

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Originally Posted by *Monda*
Well then, you have not taken people like me in to account....maybe you can't think it realistic for yourself...but that does not actualy make it true for others. I have a very nearly worn out set of Doctor Sears books that I love and have found invaluable. I also enjoy Dr Phil and watch him often, I even have a couple of his book.

I don't agree with 100% of what either of them say, but I am a wise enough woman to see what advice I think is sound and aply it to my life, and toss the rest.


um, i dont think dready momma was talking about women who do research on their own, or those who already knew about dr. sears. she was talking about the majority of america (and mothering.com is most definitely not representative of that) who take what they see on the boob tube as truth without researching it afterwards.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

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Originally Posted by *MyHeadIsRed*
I have wanted to post on this thread from the start, but because of the ridiculous and immature name calling and assumptions for a person who most do not know personally is really disheartening. Just because you disagree with someones opinion doesn't give you the right to bash and name call. As far as Dr. Phil is concerned; who in the world decided to assume he wasn't a medical doctor? Do research before you judge and start rumors. I disagree with his style of "mainstream" parenting but that is beside the point

the bashing is kinda weird. im the one who started this thread, and i tend to let that go and try to deal with the issue at hand.

dr. phil is not an MD. he has a PhD.


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