# screaming without sound



## AAL (Aug 30, 2008)

Hi,

I lost my baby last Saturday. I was full term and went into labor. I did everything by the book. I went to the hospital after my water broke and my contractions were 5 minutes a part. Everything was going well until we got to the hospital. That is when everything went wrong. The nurse couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. Then the doctor came by and couldn't find the heartbeat. He walked away saying its not good. Then came back to tell us that the baby had passed. Gone! just like that...no explanation. I feel so hollow and destroyed. Why did this happen. We were supposed to deliver a healthy baby that day. I don't get it. I got to hold my baby to say good bye to kiss him. He was perfect. 9lbs 9oz. He looked just like my husband. I am so sad. I hope you don't mind me sharing. I am fed up of people telling me to be strong.


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## jmo (Mar 18, 2006)

oh, mama, I am so so sorry for your loss. Of course we don't mind you sharing - pls share away. Share as much as you'd like to about your little one. I wish there was something else to say beside I'm sorry. Don't feel like you need to be strong at all right now. Feel free to grieve the loss of your baby in whatever way feels right.


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## Greenmama2AJ (Jan 10, 2008)

I'm so sorry, what an awful and tragic thing to happen









I remember how angry I felt after my loss. Feel free to vent your sadness here.

My heart truly goes out you.


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## MommyinMN (Oct 18, 2007)

I am so sorry for your loss. Please come here to share anytime you need to. I know talking about it has been the only thing that has helped me heal from my own loss.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I wrote on your other thread but just wanted to give more (((HUGS)))


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## honeybunch2k8 (Jan 14, 2008)

I don't know what to say.


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## yummymummy2hannah (Aug 23, 2006)

I am so sorry.


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## Mamax3 (Nov 21, 2001)

I am so sorry. What did you name your son?

Know that you are not alone, there is a lot of support here for you. Please lean on us.


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## wheezie (Sep 18, 2004)

I am so, so sorry for your loss.


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

I am so sorry- I cannot imagine what you are going through


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## crazyrunningmama (Dec 16, 2006)

People want to help, but telling you to be strong isn't really helping. I can only imagine your sorrow. I am so so sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to find some help here.


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## zoe196 (Mar 20, 2007)

I am very sorry for your loss. I don't think you need to "be strong" at a time like this...you just need to be. You and your little one are in my thoughts.

Zoe


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## KYCat (May 19, 2004)

I am so very sorry for your loss. The death of a baby is so tragic and overwhelming. Do not feel that you have to be strong. Your body is still breathing and you are still alive -- you are being strong. I am so glad that you were able to hold your beautiful boy. Be gentle with yourself, and give yourself the freedom to grieve anyway you need to. Yell with no sound; yell with so much sound that you worry the police will come; stare off into space; cry and sob; lie in bed and beat your bed; do whatever you need. Hugs and food I needed but could not seek out, so whenever either was offered I accepted. Please know that it will always be a sad and tragic part of who you are, but with time it will be easier to get up each day. Eventually a minute will go by that you feel OK, not good but ok. Eventually you will feel good for some minutes. It's not quick but it will happen. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. I am so sad to tell you that you are not alone -- many here have gone through this. Peace to you and your family. I strongly recommend a grief /support group. I needed to have a place where I was only expected to talk about my beautiful boy and that was understood. Sorry to ramble, but I know what you are going through and it is Hell. Peace and love to you and your beautiful boy.


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