# New here, but need support



## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

I have never posted in this forum before, but I need some support. Dh and I are TTCing after a late term pregnancy loss. Here is some background info. My Daughter Arawyn was stillborn at 22 weeks gestation on December 21, 2003 due to chorioamnionitis. My midwife gave me the go ahead to start TTCing again at 6 weeks postpartum, but I never stopped bleeding. Numerous tests and four months of bleeding later it was discovered that I had a small peice of retained placenta. It was removed by D&C April 29th. I was told we could start TTCing again after my next cycle. We have now been TTCing for four months with no luck. I know this may not seem like a long time to many of you, but for me it has been torcher. The worry of TTCing taking so long with the added worry of how I will handle a subsequent pregnancy after loss is really getting to me. I don't know what I could do that I am not doing already to up our chances of success. I have not been charting, but I know that I ovulate the same time each month because I get a pinch in my side when the egg releases. That happens about a week after I stop bleeding every month (is this TMI?). Is there something I can do that will up our chances of success?

I really just needed some one to comiserate with, and this seemed like the right place for it. If this is the wrong place to post feel free to move it. Thank you for reading.


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

Hi Shannon,
I don't have any advise, but I wanted to offer a







. You will find lots of women in the Trying to Concieve forum who can offer plenty of info. on increasing your chances of conception....best wishes to you, and I hope you are







very soon


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

Hey Shannon, fancy meeting you here!
I recommend that you go to The one thread because it gets a lot of posts and those women are very knowledgeable and supportive. It can be hard to keep up with, though.

I hope that you get some good advice and soon!

ST


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

Nice to see you here Shannon. The one thread has lots of wonderful support. I'm here if you ever need to pm. This journey is a rough one at times. TTC now after a loss has been quite an emotional ride.
I am still not physically quite ready but I come here for the emotional support. Knowing that other's are walking this path makes it easier sometimes. Hope you find the support you need and that this is but a brief stop in your journey.
Jessie


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

TTC can be stressful at the best of times, but it sounds like you really have a lot of stress!

I think the most empowering thing I have done in TTC is charting (after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler). It's amazing - you can get so much information about what's going on in your body, and if you're having problems you can take your charts to your doctor and a) get much better treatment and b) get it sooner.

Another possibility (or in addition to charting, which is what I did) was to use ovulation prediction kits (OPKs) or an ovulation monitor like the ClearPlan. (If you're interested in any of this stuff, check ebay, you can always find new ones for much cheaper than the stores). An ovulation monitor will help pinpoint when you're ovulating so you can get it on effectively.









Taking your prenatal vitamins, eating a healthy diet, getting exercise, getting enough sleep...these are all basic ways to take care of your body and promote fertility.

The mamas here are a great resource







! Best wishes on your TTC journey.


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## sweetc (Aug 12, 2003)

Hi Shannon,

I know first hand how nerve wracking TTC after a loss can be. It is so emotional on many different levels. I went through having a hard time physically and emotionally just having sex, to being angry that we were even in the position to be TTC when I should be pregnant, to wondering why in the *&^%*!! it was taking so long... etc. It felt almost desperate to me at times. We conceived quickly with my son and with the baby we lost - but it took 7 cycles after my m/c to get pregnant. Those were probably the hardest months I've gone through. It seemed everyone I knew was suddenly pregnant and I wasn't.

I am pregnant now and trying to stay calm and trusting in my body is what I struggle with now. I am only 7+ weeks along and the days seem to drag. If only I could fast forward...but then I think I'd have to skip all the way to the end to a health babe in my arms before I'd feel the peace I want.

Charting was a good way to me to know my cycle well. I also used OPKs. Charting will help tell you more than the day you ovulate, but you probably know all that already. I also had the support of a wonderful naturopath/midwife who was there for me emotionally and medically. One of the things she asked me to do was to visualize myself pregnant - not trying to get pregnant, but pregnant. When I first did this I realized that I had so much fear and anger hidden underneath my desperate baby-making desires. I took some time to deal with that (a good friend suggested free journaling) and finally got to the place where I could truly picture myself round and pregnant with great joy. This is a hard path to walk.

I hope that your journey here is short and that you are soon blessed with a lovely baby in your arms. You will be in my thoughts

Peace,
Christine


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

Shannon,
I just now saw this thread....silly me!!!
You know that I love you dearly....I am always here for you.
Glad to be meeting up with you over here...









Like ST said...fancy meeting you here!!!!


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## Leslie in Chicago (Sep 10, 2004)

Hi Shannon,

Your post brought tears to my eyes; I can only imagine your grief. My husband and I have been trying for two years and I'm at my wits' end. You've already received lots of great suggestions here--and I'll second the "charting" suggestion. Toni Weschler's book is excellent.

Though it doesn't really matter what I or anyone else thinks, I just want to say that I love that you list Arawyn as your daughter. I pray that she'll always be with you in spirit.

big hugs,
Leslie


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

Thank you all so much for your support. I guess I never realized how hard getting pregnant could be, or how disapointing the months of trying could be.

Leslie, Thank you so much. Arawyn touched our hearts in her short time with us. Ds knows that he has a sister and even at three will talk about her sometimes. I am sorry TTCing has been so hard for you. I don't understand why these things have to be so hard for us Mammas who want babies so badly. I have never really understood how to chart, but I think I will look into. I would like to try natural family planning in the future as a means of birth control, so I guess getting used to charting now could really help.

Jackie and Sweet Teach, Yep I finally found my way over here. I kept thinking I didn't need to come over here because I would get pregnant easily, but that didn't turn out to be the case so I thought I would check things out. You guys are really great, and it is nice to know that I can count on you here.


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

Shannon,
I learned so much from reading taking control of your fertility by toni weschler (sp?). Thinking of you.
Jessie


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## ReecesMom (Oct 4, 2004)

Oh Shannon, I'm so sorry for your loss.







I too lost a little girl this summer. My Tessa was born still at 24 weeks this past June. I had a loss before that at 11 weeks in April 2003 (had to have a D&C). The reason for both losses, they _think_, is antiphospholipid syndrome (APS), which you might have heard of... it's a blood clotting disorder that (among other things) can cause microscopic clots in the placenta. We think this is what happened to Tessa and probably my 2003 baby.

Anyway... I just had to delurk and tell you, at my six-week follow-up appointment in late July, my midwife said we had the green light to TTC after one "normal cycle," meaning when my pg-related bleeding had stopped and I had a typical 7-day period. My cycles were back to "relative" normal in August. (We aren't going to TTC until next summer, but that's a whole other story.) But then I started having very constant and persistant pain "down there," pretty centralized to my right ovary. They did a vaginal u/s and found, like you, retained placental tissue (they think). I had a hysteroscopy D&C this past Thursday. They've sent the tissue to pathology and we won't know for sure if it was indeed placental tissue until Oct. 12 (when the test results are back).

So very long post, short: Have you had a hysteroscopy? Where they send a camera "up there" to see what is up? My midwife said it was crucial to make sure Tessa's birth and any leftover placental tissue had not caused damage to my uterine walls which would make future TTC difficult. Worth a question to your doctor/midwife about it.

About upping your chances... I would start by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and charting your temperatures. That book, lurking on ovusoft's Everything Herbal board (HERE), and taking progesterone cream and supplements worked for us. I had low progesterone issues when we were TTC (Tessa) and therefore had a shortened luteal phase. A combo of over the counter progesterone cream (THIS kind) and supplementing with increased Vitamin B6, Folic Acid and Vitamin C worked after 6 months of trying and feeling like my bathroom counter was a pharmacy. LOL Oh and I also took Vitex supplements (THIS stuff) and then got a BFP two weeks later. Never realy resolved if the Vitex helped or was just good timing.

Sorry this is so long. I have absolutely been in your shoes and it sucks. Chin up. Legs open. It'll happen with a little hard work. It has to, right?


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

ReecesMom: I am so sorry for your loss of baby Tessa. I have heard of APS I have a friend who has it. That is so hard. I did have a hysteroscopy when they did the D&C and every looks good. "fluffy" is how Dh described it when they showed us the pictures :LOL My midwife said that the "fluffy" look was a good thing. And after the pathology report they decided for sure that it was a piece of placenta, which is good because we were worried about fybroids (my mother had a hysterectomy because of them). I hope you are right about it having to happen, and boy we have been trying hard.







: My friend sent me homegrown herbal pregnancy tea (yum) and Vitex which I have been using this month. so







: this month is looking pretty good, I should O tommorow.

Quote:

Chin up. Legs open. It'll happen with a little hard work. It has to, right?
This really made my day.


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## BinahYeteirah (Oct 15, 2002)

Hi, Shannon.

I remember you from the Pg Loss board, too. I am ttc after a m/c in July at 9 weeks.

That other ladies here have given some great advice, but I just wanted to offer my support. TTC after a loss brings ups so many mixed emotions.

Well, I hope you are Oing and gio.








:


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## ReecesMom (Oct 4, 2004)

:bighug Shannon

Oh and have you read the book: Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss

I haven't read it yet because we aren't TTC for some time. But maybe you'll find something more helpful (and medical) than "chin up, legs open."


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## ReecesMom (Oct 4, 2004)

Crud. They don't have the bighug emoticon here. (I should have assumed as much. LOL)

Here ya go...


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