# Messy house: What is Acceptable and What is Not?



## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

How far is too far? I've been working on really keeping stuff tidy in my home. I work from home so it's a little bit of a challenge in some ways. But it is what I consider pretty well done right now (please don't wander into the kitchen, I swear the dishes multiply when I walk out of the room.)




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## Oread (Aug 12, 2012)

I'm ok with "messy" and lived-in. But I think there is a big difference between messy and dirty. Some dishes on the counter, toys on the floor, whatever. Dishes that look like science projects, floors that make my feet dirty when I walk on them, piles of laundry that have quite possibly never seen the inside of of a washing machine.... icky! That's where I draw the line. Funky, unidentifiable smells are also not acceptable.


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## erinmattsmom88 (Oct 28, 2010)

Filth is not ok with me. Toys out, unfolded laundry (clean), un-made bed, no big deal. But, filthy floors, dishes, yucky bathroom, crud on the countertops... no, just no. I had a friend who did not keep her house clean. I was scared to use her bathroom. If we dared to walk around her house with bare feet they'd be black in minutes. I can't deal with that.


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## SweetSilver (Apr 12, 2011)

Somewhere between Clean and Crud are these guidelines for myself:

Can I function? Can I just grab whatever clean dishes I need? Is there room in the garbage for the next bits? Room in the compost? Room in the recycling? Can I find shoes and jackets and sweaters? Do I have clean clothes to wear? And can I find them without rummaging around to much? Anything smelly? Dust causes sniffles, especially in the beds and on the couches? Room to sit on couches and chairs? Room to eat dinner at the table? Walk from point A to B with tripping or stepping on stuff? Can we find lost toys in a reasonable amount of time? Do we have all the pieces-parts we need?.

We are a homeschooling family and the girls are BUSY most of the day with projects and games. I sometimes prioritize deep cleaning the forgotten corners if the kitchen is reasonably clean, otherwise it would never be done. My house is never, or rarely tidy, but the bathroom is clean, the floors are vacuumed almost daily (not every square foot!) and the floor never goes too long. And I don't have long-forgotten drawers and corners, really. Everything gets its day in the sun.

My ideal: be able to dive in to projects without doing loads of tidy-up in advance. It's usually pretty good, but I'd like to be better. To be able to brush off a day without having the house go to hell (either from being sick,like today







, or lazy, or just wanting to enjoy a beautiful day outside). I can say, that while my house is nowhere near tidy enough, IMO, for guests, at least I feel the bathroom and kitchen are usable without fear!)


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## keakiepie (Nov 7, 2013)

Ditto the other ladies.







"Messy" is acceptable, especially if you're working from home and have young kids. "Dirty" (i.e. unsanitary) is when it becomes a major problem IMO.


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## TeaMamaTrish (Nov 14, 2013)

Check out a blog post I did about being messy!!!!

It's been a work in progress for me, allowing myself to embrace the "real" state of things in my home. And I won't lie....the other day I washed the floors and I felt amazing. 

http://citymomsblog.com/burlingtonvt/2013/07/17/the-messy-mom/

Please comment on the post if you can relate!!!


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Bathrooms are my thing. I cannot tolerate a gross bathroom or kitchen. Especially if I have to used it or you are inviting me over for tea. Just. No.


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

I hate when my house is grimy. Unfortunately, I have not other choice but to live in a grimy home. It drives me crazy! I just don't have time to get to all of the things. I'll forget to wipe off the stove top for a whole week. Sometimes dirty dishes will sit in my sink for two days. I can't even remember the last time I mopped the floor. I'm so busy and I run around like a crazy person and I never even notice that things are gross until one day it's so bad I'm completely disgusted. I'll put my kids in the bath or something and realize there's a dark ring around the inside of the tub and be horrified, wondering how I could possibly have gone that long without noticing it needed to be cleaned! I seriously need a maid. I sometimes have freak-out days where I get absolutely nothing done but cleaning. I'm so grossed out that all I can do is CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!! 

But untidy? Now that is where I draw the line. Everything has a place and it needs to be in it or I can't even function on a human level. I get seriously depressed and antsy. I have to have a tidy house absolutely at all times. I literally walk behind the kids picking up after them. I might have an inch of dust on top of my dresser, but you'd better believe there's not one thing out of place at my house most days.


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *amberskyfire*
> 
> I hate when my house is grimy. Unfortunately, I have not other choice but to live in a grimy home. It drives me crazy! I just don't have time to get to all of the things. I'll forget to wipe off the stove top for a whole week. Sometimes dirty dishes will sit in my sink for two days. I can't even remember the last time I mopped the floor. I'm so busy and I run around like a crazy person and I never even notice that things are gross until one day it's so bad I'm completely disgusted. I'll put my kids in the bath or something and realize there's a dark ring around the inside of the tub and be horrified, wondering how I could possibly have gone that long without noticing it needed to be cleaned! I seriously need a maid. I sometimes have freak-out days where I get absolutely nothing done but cleaning. I'm so grossed out that all I can do is CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!!
> 
> But untidy? Now that is where I draw the line. Everything has a place and it needs to be in it or I can't even function on a human level. I get seriously depressed and antsy. I have to have a tidy house absolutely at all times. I literally walk behind the kids picking up after them. I might have an inch of dust on top of my dresser, but you'd better believe there's not one thing out of place at my house most days.


Yes!


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## EineMutti (Oct 22, 2013)

My DH collects "things". Commodore computers, hunners of books and stone collections and just things. It's always messy, I have no idea where to put all the stuff. Also, our wardrobe broke. If I came into my house as a guest, I would NOT deem it "acceptable". Only clean things are the bathrooms and the kitchen surfaces. Or what is left of them. We have so little motivation to do do it all, it is scary. Nursery is decorated for baby, but still a storage room. Bleh. I plan to have baby sleep in the nursery from birth and have a single bed in there, DH and I sometimes swapping (and he will bring baby to nurse, worked great with DS1.

SO much to do, SO little motivation and time as it gets messy so quickly. In four weeks, I will be living with four boys who literally see NOTHING that needs to be done. Instructions have be clear, lol.

When I get the hoover out, DS asks who is coming to visit.

Oh, and who know this scenario; visitors are announced. You run around like a headless chicken, tidying and cleaning. House looks better than it has in days and yet, the first words you find yourself uttering are: "sorry about the mess...."


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## skycheattraffic (Apr 16, 2012)

Omg Einemutti that's me with the guests.

I have always been a terrible housekeeper. It has never interested me and I was never involved in chores as a kid. I love my mom to bits but she never took the time to involve me because it was quicker to just do it herself. Then she'd lament that no one helped her. I remember loving the few times she let me help with food prep so I think I would have done ok in cleaning too. I got married in my mid twenties but didn't know how to keep a tidy house, just did the "Ack! Someone is coming over!" pickup and vacuum thing. After having my first, for a while I was doing better. Then I got pregnant again and things fell by the wayside. Then DD2 came along, bringing all the challenges a new baby brings and I'm not doing well. I'm motivated this time though and really want to declutter, big time! DD2 is 4 months now and I'm learning to back wrap her, which helps. I'm trying very hard to involve DD1 (32 months old) and usually have her help me with laundry and food prep while I wear baby on my back. We were starting to gather some momentum but we all got really sick last week and are still mostly in bed. Everytime I get somewhere, life happens! Oh yes and my house smells a little. Take all carpeting everywhere and add a heavy wetting toddler going through a potty regression and a mom busy with a baby and I think it's practically inevitable. I've given up and decided I'll just steam all the carpets after I'm done decluttering. In the meantime? Excuse the mess but we live here


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## JulieS26 (Jul 22, 2021)

I hate having a messy house. But as a full time working mom it's just impossible to do everything! Safe to say since I've had the kids I've had to lower my standards lol. My lounge has enough toys to open a day care hahaha. When the mess annoys you, just take a deep breath and remember so long as the kids are clean and fed then you are doing great! I've found some useful ideas here for keeping the house clean https://mummyitsok.com/blog/how-to-clean-your-messy-house/


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## StephanieHarmon (Oct 26, 2017)

I really don't want a messy and dirty house, I make sure that I clean and keep our house organized


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## tarbertsand (Mar 20, 2020)

ian'smommaya said:


> Bathrooms are my thing. I cannot tolerate a gross bathroom or kitchen. Especially if I have to used it or you are inviting me over for tea. Just. No.


Me too, I can't stand a dirty bathroom and kitchen.


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