# MA Wants You To Stop CoSleeping - thoughts?



## Pinkalicious (Jun 10, 2009)

So, if you live in MA (or anywhere else for that matter), what are your thoughts on this one? Can someone turn you in for co-sleeping? And, can they charge you w/child abuse? Is that even allowed?

link: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/reg...rings_on_rise/


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## Equuskia (Dec 16, 2006)

And at least 13 babies have died in recalled Simplicity cribs, which many parents don't know about.

So anyways, he's trying to say that a mayority of the world's population are child abusers, simply beccause they sleep with their children in the same bed, which by the way McClain, is called *bedsharing*. Cosleeping is when people sleep in the same space (same room for example). So great, he wagged his finger, but he's not offering any real solutions, like teaching about sidecarring, safe bedsharing practices, etc. I bet a whole lot more babies died tangled in bed bumpers and crib railings than in bedsharing, but cribs haven't be outlawed have they?

Also, some babies simply die, without explanation. But since it happened in the parent's bed, it's child abuse? Aren't there real abused children in MA that need services, instead of hounding parents that are doing the best they can with their children?


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

I live in MA and cosleep so I'm... really angry right now. Yeah. Let's say it's the co-sleeping that causes it ALL. Don't teach people about SAFE cosleeping or anything. This part gets me:
"This is one form of child abuse that is completely avoidable and preventable," said DCF Commissioner Angelo McClain. "It's important to me."

Are you SERIOUS????
Let's take it one step further. Driving is child abuse because children die in accidents. Ban driving, don't teach car seat safety.
I am BOILING right now. Grrrr


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## valerie mom of 4 (Jul 9, 2009)

child abuse? Come on.


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## Gentle~Mommy :) (Apr 21, 2009)

I don't see how they could enforce this, burst into your home in the night to check your sleeping arrangements?


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## nummies (Jun 9, 2007)

I hear ya. Indiana has a new commercial playing that makes me ill. It shows a home video of a daddy going to wake up mommy and baby and the baby isn't breathing. Panic begins and they call 911. Co-sleeping kills is their message.


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

I do plan on trying bed sharing, I was a REALLY heavy sleeper when I had DD 1 and chose not to after waking up 2 times with the covers over her head.

I have a pack and play set up next to my bed, if CPS ever came it's my decoy.

Your children CAN be removed for bed sharing in MA, I have heard of it done. They specifically look to see the child has it's own bed when they come.


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## MamaStarbird (Oct 21, 2008)

Suddenly I'm very happy I no longer live in MA. Co-sleeping is child abuse? Disgusting!

Then again, of all the friends and family I have who still live in MA, I don't know anyone who reads the Herald or thinks it's a serious paper. Please tell me other local news sources haven't picked this up or I'll never hear the end of it.


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

this is obviously ridiculous. i also find myself wondering whether the "suffocation" deaths they referred to were really all suffocation, or were in some cases simply SIDS that would have happened anyway, crib sleeping or co-sleeping.

i mean, if a baby dies in bed with its parents, how can you prove it wouldn't have happened if the baby had been sleeping in a crib?


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## nelson (Aug 12, 2008)

I have seen similar articles in the newspapers here (mpls), not specifically saying that they would outlaw cosleeping, but only showing one side of the issue. The interesting thing to me is that every case of child smothering that they have documented in my newspaper, the parents or grandparents have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Why is cosleeping the issue and not drunk parenting? There are certain precautions that should be taken in order to sleep safely together, but that point isn't always brought up. Did these parents intentionally sleep with their child? were there drugs involved? Very frustrating...


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## jennydecki (Jun 8, 2009)

Oh come on. You KNOW it's way safer to stumble across a dark room into a nursery (preferably located on the other side of the house), pick up your newborn (the one sleeping under the quilt the crib set came with) and weave half-asleep into the kitchen (over any clothing or toys that might be on the floor that you're sure not to trip on) to make baby a nice, warm formula bottle in the microwave.

THAT is DCF-approved parenting!?

Maybe they think the nighttime nanny should be taking care of it.

(end sarcasm)

I agree with the previous poster that said the issue is the inebriation of the parents that's the issue. Not where the baby is sleeping.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

This happened in NY, too.

Here's my question: What are the circumstances? Are these babies in a bed or on the couch? Were the parents intoxicated at all? Were the babies themselves sick? Was the bed even big enough to co-sleep? Were the parents severely overweight? There could be a myriad of reasons as to why those babies died.

How many babies died from vaccines? Or in cribs? Or in cars? Or by formula? But we don't ban those at all? (as others have said)

A little awhile ago a story made the news about a baby who died from co-sleeping and the new DA said he was going to prosecute anyone who practiced it bc this baby's death was preventable. Then, after reading and reading, you learn the circumstances. The baby was "co-sleeping" - if you even want to call it that - with mom on the couch. And mom? She was stoned out of her mine and legally drunk. Gee. Could those be the real reasons that baby died? And not co-sleeping?

These are the same people who say slings are bad bc 5 babies in the past nine years have been injured or killed after falling out of them. And probably by parents who didn't know what they were doing. I know I walked around the house and the yard a lot before going out in public, just to make sure I knew what I was doing with the sling.

Besidse, if DCF comes knocking on your door, you don't have to let them in. Make them go away and then get that pack-n-play from a friend or the basement and set it up for when they come back with a warrant .. if they come back. I realize no one should have to do that, though.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

They've been saying not to bedshare for years, WTF is up with "new figures from the Department of Children and Families, which has begun tracking the fatalities for the first time"?


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## ErinsJuneBug (Nov 21, 2006)

ahhhh it all makes sense. 2 days ago my mother said to me "You know there have been 11 babies that died in Mass last year because of co-sleeping. I think you should really think about where DS (2 weeks) would be the safest."

I totally laughed in her face and changed the subject...so THIS is where it was coming from. I'd like to know how many parents smoked, or were drunk at the time, or formula fed their babies. On that note, how many babies die each year in Mass from not being breastfed? Lets get those parents!!!


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## ErinsJuneBug (Nov 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
They've been saying not to bedshare for years, WTF is up with "new figures from the Department of Children and Families, which has begun tracking the fatalities for the first time"?

Yet we STILL arent tracking maternity mortality rates. Who decides these things? Our c-section rate is 40+% in some hospitals....but heck, lets spend the money tracking co-sleeping deaths. Didnt more people die from the gardasil vaccine last year?







:


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

People would only accidently roll on their children if they are intoxicated or under the influence of painkillers and sleep drugs. No normal and aware mother would do this. I've slept with many children in my bed, and I have yet to roll over them and kill them. This is my argument to people when we have a cosleeping discussion.

What I'd do is get a lawyer to draw up papers for you so they can be used in your defense, and if you ever are confronted, you should look up what your state defines as child abuse and show it to your authorities. I guarantee you that cosleeping is not listed as a form of child abuse. You can point that out to them. If you are really concerned about Child Protective Services getting into your business and destroying your family all because you want to do things differently, check out www.fightcps.com That site has a plethora of resources. I strongly suggest you read them so you can always be one step ahead and save your babies from the madness. Take care.


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## MAveggiemom (Feb 26, 2008)

Wow... a human infant can't move on his own, can't regulate his own body temperature very well, and needs to feed at his mother's breast every two hours. A human infant who is separated from his mother for even a short period of time will either starve to death or be eaten by predators. Wait, no... it's the twenty-first century, and we in the West have a lot of fancy and expensive contraptions to prevent starvation and wild predation. Phew. The only thing is...... The human infants' biology simply hasn't had time to catch up with the Western human parents' desire for convenience and the Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association's marketing strategies. There is nothing that makes sense about putting a baby to sleep by himself in a cage in another room. Some babies sleep well by themselves, but it's certainly not the natural or logical choice. The government would save MANY more infant lives if they outlawed putting a baby in a car, since a baby is much more likely to be killed in a vehicle collision than sleeping with his (sober) parents. But this is preposterous, right? Because we as a society value cars so much that we're willing to expose our babies to this immense risk every day. Unless you want to judge and legislate THAT, it seems a waste of time to judge and legislate where a baby should sleep. Just another example of cultural bigotry and moral imperialism. The government can please stay out of OUR bedroom.

(I posted that to the Herald website too, though I don't know how convincing it will be to the Herald's readership....)


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## kiara7 (Feb 14, 2008)

Yes, the crib is the safest place for an infant to sleep...........until they recall your crib because someone died.


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## lness (Jul 14, 2009)

Well I'm not in MA, but...how do they know? Would your own family really call DCF on you? I know we haven't discussed our sleeping arrangements with anyone else - it's not like it's just easy to use for small talk!

We actually didn't plan on bedsharing -- got her a little bed to put right next to ours, in which she spent 1 hour her first night. And then refused to go to sleep in it ever again. Just the last week or 2 we've been working on getting her into it (we'd like our bed back eventually and she takes over the whole thing!) but she only stays the first half. Once she wakes up to nurse, she comes over and stays with me until we get up in the morning. Hubby worries that he's missing the don't-squash-the-baby instinct, so she sleeps next to me, not between us, but otherwise we've never had any cause for concern with her.
I was watching her sleep this morning, snuggled in, and I was thinking, "I can't believe more people don't do this, how could someone not want this." Almost the best part of my day!


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

The sad thing is that these are tragic, and possibly preventable deaths. With statistics that do not represent the nature of what happens-- are they on the couch? was mom drinking? were they trapped under a pillow or heavy bedding? were they sleeping with a relative other than mom? I wish we would hear a safe co-sleeping message. There are many ways to make co-sleeping safe. Baby between mom and outer edge/wall. Mom not under the influence, extremely heavy sleeper or obese. No heavy covers, pillows, etc. We co-sleep, and we love it! But we have been very cautious to be safe. Tragically, many people don't hear messages about safety and don't know how to make sleeping with your children safer. I know the Michigan data does not break down where they were sleeping, or with whom, it just indicates "bed sharing". What is startling is that the leading cause of death for infants birth to one in most areas is accidental suffocation- either in cribs or beds. I DO think a safe sleep message is reasonable, I DO NOT think the fear laden- co-sleeping kills message is the right one.


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## DianeMarie (Jul 7, 2009)

How many children died in cribs in the same period of time? The 3 cases that they quote are several day old babies, who are at much higher risk for SIDS and breathing problems to begin with.

How many children slept with their parents in this same period of time---and did not die?

When "new" directors step into their posts, they have to find something to harp on, or else it looks like they aren't doing anything.........and this seems to be what he is harping on. What he needs to do is compare infant mortality rates across the board.

I notice that in the report that there were no reports of "older" children who died. Which supports my "theory" about infants and immature pulmonary systems..............and being more prone to SIDS anyway. I don't see how he could say that sleeping with your child is "child abuse". I don't see children showing up for school who sleep with their parents with bruises all over them or malnourished from co-sleeping...........


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## barefootmama0709 (Jun 25, 2009)

I HATE it when the authorities think this is a good idea. "No, let's not teach about safe ways to share a sleep space with your baby; instead, we'll do such a good job of fearmongering that any parent who wants to co-sleep is afraid to ask their pediatrician about it, and so embarks on their co-sleeping journey uninformed and ill-prepared! THIS is the way to prevent death!" Hmm...it sounds a lot like "Teach abstinence! THAT will prevent teen pregnancy!"


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

I agree with the above poster. Authorities put so much fear into these parents that they cannot get informed, as they are so afraid to lose their precious babies that they have a God-given right to raise. This is the reason why I feel that it is now more important than ever to start my AP education campaign in my area. As soon as things quiet down a little around here, I will be putting together the folders that will contain printouts from various AP oriented websites. I'll keep you all updated. If it goes well here, perhaps, we should all start an AP movement! I'd love to see that.


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## denimtiger (Jan 22, 2009)

It's paternalistic government at its "best." And it's reality in EVERY. SINGLE. ASPECT. of government. Most parenting issues are based on the decisions of women. And, officially, women can't be trusted. All young girls should be screened for STDs, given Gardasil, etc. because they wouldn't tell the truth and can't be trusted. All babies should have eye ointment, because their mothers can't be trusted to tell the truth about whether they've been exposed to STDs.

Women can't be trusted to feed their babies enough or produce enough milk, or not eat harmful things, therefore it's better if babies are fed in a way that can be measured and verified by a (traditionally male) doctor.

And, women can't be successfully educated to sleep with their babies safely. Therefore, babies are safer tucked into cages away from their dangerous mothers.


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## MAveggiemom (Feb 26, 2008)

Ooh, denimtiger - I was already all fired up about this, without even considering it from a purely feminist perspective. Now I'm positively furious. (Thank you, sincerely!).

I don't know about anyone else, but somehow I think that tonight, while my precious DS and his Daddy are safely snuggled up together, sleeping soundly in our enormous family bed... I'll be wide awake, fuming about this! I am generally satisfied with the way the Commonwealth does business, at least as compared to the level of corruption, government meddling, and state-supported discrimination in other states. But this is upsetting. How sad, as we're riding the high from the new breastfeeding legislation, to have to put up with this crap. I just hope that Mr. McClain's statement about bedsharing being "child abuse" is absurd-sounding enough even to the mainstream to cause him to not be taken seriously.


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## kai28 (Sep 9, 2008)

ugh. i'm disgusted. add another item to the pro/con list of whether I want to keep living here. With ALL the other issues DCS could be dealing with, THIS is what they are focusing on? good lord. And my taxes pay these people's salaries? Someone needs get their priorities straightened out. I saw a guy put a baby in the front seat of his car the other day & NOT in a car seat, for chrissakes...

I'm beyond shocked.


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## mama1215 (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nummies* 
I hear ya. Indiana has a new commercial playing that makes me ill. It shows a home video of a daddy going to wake up mommy and baby and the baby isn't breathing. Panic begins and they call 911. Co-sleeping kills is their message.









That is horrific. I cannot even believe that is an actual commercial. How very awful. So sad.


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