# DH refuses to keep OTC and prescription drugs out of DS reach



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

They are sitting on the bathroom counter where DS can easily reach. The other night DS picked up the blood pressure pills and opened it. Yes, he knows how to open the caps where you have to push down and turn at the same time. I did not teach him to do that. I do not know how to get through to H. I asked him to put where DS cannot reach and he said 'that is not acceptable'. I replied 'it's not acceptable if he swallows a pill' but he does not care. Help!

(an aside but related - his mother stays with us sometimes over a weekend and takes about 20 perscription pills a day. He was obviously upset when we keep finding her dropped pills all over and claimed he was going to do something about it, but never did)


----------



## rhiandmoi (Apr 28, 2006)

Keep the bathroom door closed? Put the medicine in a little caddy? Get different bottles?

BTW The so-called-childproof caps always open up in my purse just from jiggling around, so I don't know how child proof the can be.


----------



## Miranda2r14 (Jan 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
I asked him to put where DS cannot reach and he said 'that is not acceptable'.

Huh? Is he for real? One small act of responsibility to put something away when you're done with it is too much for him? His son's life and safety is worth less than just getting to live the fraternity mess life? I can't even wrap my brain around that.


----------



## gsd1amommy (Apr 6, 2007)

Seriously? He said it is not acceptable?
Then you will have to take responsibility for keeping your son safe. I'd put *all* meds in a lock box and dole the pills out like a med pass at a nursing home. But I'm b!tchy like that when it comes to my kid dying because of other people's stupidity.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

I doubt he would do any of those 3 things. If we got a caddy, it would have to have a lockable cover and there's no way he's going to lock and unlock the thing all the time.
thanks, if you think of anything else pls let me know.
I'll keep thinking if anyone else has ideas too let me know.

Quote:

One small act of responsibility to put something away when you're done with it is too much for him?
I dont' get it either and it's extremely upsetting. He was right in the bedroom too, when it happened and I showed him right away (it was still in DS's hands with the open cap). I think one time he did say that he leaves them on the counter so he remembers to take them, but what is wrong with a post-it note on the mirror?

Quote:

He said it is not acceptable?
Exact words, I kid you not. This was just this past weekend on Sat. or Sunday. he saw it too, as he was right in the bedroom when DS took it and took the cap off, I called him into the bathroom and DS had it in his hands.


----------



## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Why is that unacceptable to him? I just don't think you can even start to reach him on a sane level until he explains himself on that one.


----------



## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

Honestly, what I would do is lock up all medication in a lockbox and keep the key. When dh needed medication I would open the box, give him some, and lock it right back up when he was done. If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO! But if I were in that situation I would do it right away because I would never forgive myself if I knew there was a dangerous situation and I didn't intervene to correct it and ds was injured or killed--no matter whose "fault" it was.

If and when dh changed his mind and decided to be a responsible adult about the medication, then we would find a mutually agreeable location for it.


----------



## Miranda2r14 (Jan 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StrawberryFields* 
If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO!

I like you









I was seriously too flabbergasted to help come up with a solution but she said it perfectly.


----------



## LeighB (Jan 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthmama369* 
Why is that unacceptable to him? I just don't think you can even start to reach him on a sane level until he explains himself on that one.

I agree. I wonder if there is something on the internet- a video or article- about children dying from accidental overdose of their parents medications.
Good luck! That is an issue that needs to be fixed right away!


----------



## gsd1amommy (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gsd1amommy* 
Seriously? He said it is not acceptable?
Then you will have to take responsibility for keeping your son safe. I'd put *all* meds in a lock box and dole the pills out like a med pass at a nursing home. But I'm b!tchy like that when it comes to my kid dying because of other people's stupidity.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *StrawberryFields* 
Honestly, what I would do is lock up all medication in a lockbox and keep the key. When dh needed medication I would open the box, give him some, and lock it right back up when he was done. If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO! But if I were in that situation I would do it right away because I would never forgive myself if I knew there was a dangerous situation and I didn't intervene to correct it and ds was injured or killed--no matter whose "fault" it was.

If and when dh changed his mind and decided to be a responsible adult about the medication, then we would find a mutually agreeable location for it.

You really are going to have to stand firm on doing something like the above. It is absolutely ridiculous that a grown man and father finds it unacceptable to put medication out of the reach of his child. I swear!


----------



## Whistler (Jan 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
I doubt he would do any of those 3 things. If we got a caddy, it would have to have a lockable cover and there's no way he's going to lock and unlock the thing all the time.
thanks, if you think of anything else pls let me know.

His problem is remembering to take them, right? What if you got him one of those weekly pill boxes where you put each day's meds in a little compartment? You could offer to fill them up for him each week and then store it on a high shelf where DS couldn't reach.

Or he could put his pills with something else he does every day. Does he make coffee each morning? Put them in that cupboard up high. He'll still see them every day that way.


----------



## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Even a half of a blood pressure pill could kill a child.....

stand firm...there is no other option than to put them up. Please google the ramifications of a toddler swallowing a BP pill...show that to your H.


----------



## mumkimum (Nov 14, 2006)

Something like this if he needs them to be on the bathroom counter in reach might work. Is part of the problem that he needs (in order to remember to take his meds) them visible & easy to get? What about a really high shelf in the bathroom just for the meds, or put a suction cup pocket on the wall really high?

I'd be pushing him to answer why it wasn't acceptable right away to come up with a safe solution asap. We have high shelves in our bathroom closet and keep other meds of dh in the kitchen where kids cannot yet reach. Might be worth it to get some Mr.Yuck/poison stickers and teach your son a little about them too in tandem with getting your dh in tune with reality. . . and med safety.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

I found this I can send him but I do not know how much it will help...

http://www.mnpoison.org/index.asp?pageID=103

mumkimum, thanks that is great and cheap. I've also been contemplating mr. yuck stickers but you can't count on those 100% to stop ingestion so they still need to be removed from his reach.

Quote:

Is part of the problem that he needs (in order to remember to take his meds) them visible & easy to get? What about a really high shelf in the bathroom just for the meds, or put a suction cup pocket on the wall really high?
Yes, I think so. We do have a small cabinet in the bathroom that DS cannot reach the highest shelf, but he wont' put the medication there. I would be concerned about a suction cup pocket falling.


----------



## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *StrawberryFields* 
Honestly, what I would do is lock up all medication in a lockbox and keep the key. When dh needed medication I would open the box, give him some, and lock it right back up when he was done. If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO!

yep, this is a non-negotiable. this is a major safety hazard and you need to correct it ASAP.

and it doesn't matter what he thinks. he's being ridiculous. don't lecture him; just do something, and if he doesn't like it, explain why it is necessary. let him brainstorm a better solution if he wants.


----------



## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Also...if something were to happen, his refusal to make things safe would allow the police to charge him as well as CPS to get involved.


----------



## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

I want to say that I understand why you H wants the meds on the counter. My DH does the same thing. He won't even put things in a drawer and he even keeps empty blister packs scattered about. The mess drives me crazy. It helps him to follow his very complicated and critical med schedule. He absolutely must stay on schedule or his life is in serious danger.

Still, DH knows that his counter time is limited. Once our little girl is mobile things will have to change. I'm not sure what we will do. Simply putting the drugs away can only be part one of the plan since we need a system to help him remember. Alarms don't work because some drugs are taken in relation to a meal so the exact times vary daily.


----------



## ssh (Aug 12, 2007)

Buy a lockable container and put all the meds. in it, give DH one of the keys. Tell DH that having our DS die or having to get his stomach pumped is completely unacceptable. Get a separate one for your MIL and have her take her meds only in one specific room so you can keep checking the floor. Here are a few links http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml06/06115.html , http://www.nsc.org/resources/issues/...en_poison.aspx , and http://www.aapcc.org/DNN/ . The last one is poison control, also the number is usually in the front of phone books.


----------



## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

wth? He doesnt care that his child can open medications? If he cant put them up and away I'd throw them away honestly. Insurance wont cover a refill for a few more weeks? Oh well! Too bad.


----------



## pokeyrin (Apr 3, 2008)

Wow, I can't believe he said it's not acceptable. I mean how in the world do you reason with a person who says that? It's not acceptable that he leaves dangerous things like that out, I mean what planet does he live on??

With a response like that I'd be pretty harsh with my reaction. Well if my DH did what yours does I'd be sorely tempted to chuck the meds out in the trash everytime I saw them laying out.

If I were you, everytime he left them out I'd take possesion of them and put it somewhere safe where DH couldn't find them. I wouldn't put it in the cabinet where he'd just put it out again, it'd force him to go looking for it and to see if he even remembered.

If he remembered to look for them, then he should be able to remember to take them and shouldn't have to leave them out.


----------



## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

OK, still outraged but thinking more about solutions. Not too long ago I was taking nearly 30 pills a day with two toddlers in the house. I ended up shifting some dishes around and storing them in the above-counter cabinets next to the cereal bowls and sandwich plates. With a baby gate across the kitchen entryway and the kids needing to take out a folding ladder and climb onto the counter just to get to that cabinet, I felt pretty secure knowing they couldn't get into the pills, but I saw them every time I opened the cabinet for a snack or meal. It was pretty hard to forget a dose unless we were out of the house.


----------



## SmoothieMom (Feb 12, 2009)

He might as well leave a loaded gun on the counter top. That is terrible that he refused to childproof his meds.


----------



## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *earthmama369* 
OK, still outraged but thinking more about solutions. Not too long ago I was taking nearly 30 pills a day with two toddlers in the house. I ended up shifting some dishes around and storing them in the above-counter cabinets next to the cereal bowls and sandwich plates. With a baby gate across the kitchen entryway and the kids needing to take out a folding ladder and climb onto the counter just to get to that cabinet, I felt pretty secure knowing they couldn't get into the pills, but I saw them every time I opened the cabinet for a snack or meal. It was pretty hard to forget a dose unless we were out of the house.


This is what we do for DH who is on several meds per day. It works for now as dd is 7 and knows not to touch them, ad ds is 9 months old and not eally mobile yet. When ds is old enough to climb, they will be in a LOCKED cupboard, but dh is still adjusting to taking meds daily, and this is the compromise we reached.

Quite frankly, in the OPs position I would have locked the meds up myself, and if he argued about that I would have said he was welcome to leave them out wherever he wanted in his new place, because someone that irresponsible would NOT be living with my kids.


----------



## MariesMama (Sep 26, 2008)

I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.


----------



## homewithtwinsmama (Jan 5, 2005)

I'd throw them out and tell him I would rather he die then an innocent child. That is inexcusable. My FIL used to leave his vitamins and meds on the coffee table. I flat out told him that if I ever found them out again he would not be allowed to stay here anymore and that if any of the kids ever got sick or killed by them he would never see any of them ever again. He got the message.


----------



## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeliphish* 
Also...if something were to happen, his refusal to make things safe would allow the police to charge him as well as CPS to get involved.

they take that stuff seriously.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Quite frankly, in the OPs position I would have locked the meds up myself, and if he argued about that I would have said he was welcome to leave them out wherever he wanted in his new place, because someone that irresponsible would NOT be living with my kids.

when Dh started taking meds, we had a similiar convo. he wanted them down low and i said no, they need to be up high. i won, b/c i said the exact same thing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MariesMama* 
I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.

maybe it would scare him to think that his DS ate them? prob, but i wouldnt lie. i would tell him i threw them away, and he is welcom to go buy new ones for his new house.


----------



## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

Would he leave guns, knives etc out? Does he not make the connection or is he mentally unstable?


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Quote:

Would he leave guns, knives etc out? Does he not make the connection or is he mentally unstable?
No... and sometimes I do wonder. It just seems such a common sense thing.
I do have a small, very heavy lockable fireproof safe. I will empty the contents tonight and put it in the bathroom then tell him where the key is and that it's a temp solution until we find a permanent one.


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

My DH used to be a butt about meds, not out of meanness, just out of spacey ness. I finally emptied out an ice cream tub (those gallon things) and said, your meds go in here, no where but in here. If I find them lying around I'm throwing them away, quite frankly if I have to choose between YOU dying and my CHILD dying I'm going to pick you every single time.


----------



## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

I am pretty sure anything that looks like ice cream is the last place I want to hide something from my ice-cream loving daughter







At least I know it would get my ice-cream loving husband's attention.


----------



## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama* 
quite frankly if I have to choose between YOU dying and my CHILD dying I'm going to pick you every single time.

Funny, yet 100% true.


----------



## gretelmom (Jun 22, 2005)

Okay this might be reading a lot into this.

Sounds to me like he felt really guilty that DC got into his meds, got worried, scared, anxious, most of all guilty, and many people (men esp) seem to have trouble just dealing with those feelings, so he instead got stubborn and pigheaded about the whole thing, insisting he is totally reasonable.

I say this only because he didn't think his own mother leaving pills around was okay. I know he didn't follow through on it, but he knows it's wrong.

I like the high shelf thing in the bathroom. Something at his eye level would be far enough away from DC.

As far as talking to DH about this... I wish I knew what to say. Maybe "how did you feel when I said we have to move your meds?" and try to get him to say how he felt, not that he didn't want to move them.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

gretelmom, that is a great idea, thank you.


----------



## leighann79 (Aug 4, 2005)

If the problem is that he thinks he needs to leave them out so he remembers, would an alarm on his phone or watch help? I had the same problem. I started with just leaving the pills where I would see them and then DD2 started to get to them. DH suggested I set alarms and it helped.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

It isn't good to store medications in the bathroom anyway.

Any chance you have a high cupboard with glasses and could put the medicine bottles with the glasses for water for taking them?


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkin* 
My DH does the same thing. He won't even put things in a drawer and he even keeps empty blister packs scattered about. The mess drives me crazy. It helps him to follow his very complicated and critical med schedule. He absolutely must stay on schedule or his life is in serious danger.

My aunt in law handled this (transplant meds.) by making up little cups of pills in the morning. The cups were lined up in the cupboard by the time to take them with the bottles of medicine.

Then whatever method he uses to remember that he has to go take pill A at 8, 12, 4 and 8 and pill B at 6, 9, 12, 3, 6, 9 can be used to go to the cupboard at 6, 8, 9, 12, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9 and take the next little cup of pills.


----------



## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

I agree that your dh might have gotten into that groove of defending an indefensible position out of guilt. It happens to all of us - too bad it's happening right now about something so very non-negotiable.

Anyhow. I second the idea of a high-up shelf in your bathroom, and then you just have to play the passive-aggressive game until you win. Every single time he goes in there to take his pills, you call out "please put your pills back up, baby!" Every single time he leaves them down, you put them up.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

He does not wear a watch and doesn't keep his phone by him, so alarms won't work, sorry.

He could put them on the TOP of the small cupboard in the bathroom but I do not know if he will go for that.

Quote:

Every single time he goes in there to take his pills, you call out "please put your pills back up, baby!" Every single time he leaves them down, you put them up.
Sorry, this will not work either. He is the most stubborn person I have ever encountered and this would go on for-e-ver, plus he would just put them back on the counter where DS can get at them. He will do things just to spite me and this would probably be considered some kind of 'game' so there would probably be a 'repercussion' (he threatens also).


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Sorry, this will not work either. He is the most stubborn person I have ever encountered and this would go on for-e-ver, plus he would just put them back on the counter where DS can get at them. He will do things just to spite me and this would probably be considered some kind of 'game' so there would probably be a 'repercussion' (he threatens also).

I'm trying not to overreact here since you've only asked for help on the medicine issue, but your post is raising some major red flags with me.

Playing 'games' about 'repercussions' isn't being stubborn, it's being abusive.

Doing things to spite you for-e-ver isn't a personality quirk, it's abuse.

Making you life in fear of his reactions is abuse.

Risking your child's life to be 'right' is not the action of a rational adult.

At the very least if I were in your place I'd have a secret separate bank account and would tuck as much money in there as possible.

(ETA: and yes, that is the not-overreacting version. the over-reacting version was to tell you to run, but I don't think you're in immediate danger from him)


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I'm trying not to overreact here since you've only asked for help on the medicine issue, but your post is raising some major red flags with me.

Playing 'games' about 'repercussions' isn't being stubborn, it's being abusive.

Doing things to spite you for-e-ver isn't a personality quirk, it's abuse.

Making you life in fear of his reactions is abuse.

Risking your child's life to be 'right' is not the action of a rational adult.

At the very least if I were in your place I'd have a secret separate bank account and would tuck as much money in there as possible.

(ETA: and yes, that is the not-overreacting version. the over-reacting version was to tell you to run, but I don't think you're in immediate danger from him)

This


----------



## Mamafreya (May 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I'm trying not to overreact here since you've only asked for help on the medicine issue, but your post is raising some major red flags with me.

Playing 'games' about 'repercussions' isn't being stubborn, it's being abusive.

Doing things to spite you for-e-ver isn't a personality quirk, it's abuse.

Making you life in fear of his reactions is abuse.

Risking your child's life to be 'right' is not the action of a rational adult.

At the very least if I were in your place I'd have a secret separate bank account and would tuck as much money in there as possible.

(ETA: and yes, that is the not-overreacting version. the over-reacting version was to tell you to run, but I don't think you're in immediate danger from him)

I agree with this.

I just can't wrap my head around your dh's reasoning.







:

The fireproof safe thing sounds like it's at least a good temporary solution. I think that if I were in this situation I would have to give an ultimatum. I would either threaten to call CPS myself or leave, I guess. I don't really have any advice other than some kind of lock-box or a shelf that's up high.

I mean, you can't just leave without getting the authorities involved since he'd probably get visitation and you wouldn't be there to keep your child safe. IDK?? What would he do if you told him that the issue is serious enough that you'd consider calling CPS? Would he suddenly get how dangerous it is or would it just get worse?

This whole thing is truly unbelievable. I'm sorry you have to even consider this at all.









Oh, I just thought of something that could at least be a solution if he'd go along with it. I have an alarm clock that you set and it will stay set even after you hit the off button. So everyday at the same time it goes off unless you actually turn off a switch on the side of it. Pressing the button only turns it off for that day. It plays CD's so maybe you could get something like that that you could set for a specific time and then make your own CD that says something like "Take your meds" over and over again???


----------



## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

You could get a small fishing tackle box with a lock.


----------



## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

This seems timely; it's from last month.

http://www.kait8.com/global/story.asp?s=9997800

Quote:

According to the Annals of Emergency Medicine, more than 9000 children under the age of six became sick after taking prescription drugs between 2003 and 2006, and eight of those children died.

Research also shows most children poisoned accidentally took medicine that belonged to an adult.

....
So far his father does not face any charges.

This is not a personal parenting decision. The law requires that you take all reasonable precautions to protect children, and keeping prescription meds out of their reach is a no-brainer with not a lot of "perspectives."

Your DH needs to wear a watch or wear his phone to set an alarm. Parenting is full of annoying inconveniences that are to the benefit of your children. If DH can't see past the annoyance factor, perhaps he'll consider the risk to himself, as if there's a habit of not taking precautions, despite warnings, charges and CPS are more likely.

I'm with Saphire Chan and I hope you can find a way that works better for all of you. Can you seek counsel from a physician or clergy?


----------



## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

Just for the heck of it, here's another from last June:
http://www.kcbd.com/Global/story.asp?S=8522394

A mom gave her 2 year old an Rx meant for another child...

Quote:

It's very dangerous and honestly it's not very smart," Lubbock Police Sergeant Ross Hester said. has her mother facing a charge of child endangerment.
...
Investigators are still trying to determine if this was a criminal act.
...
Fortunately, the little girl recovered. Her mother...*now faces a charge of endangering a child.*...
Police tell us the little girl and a sibling *are in protective custody pending the outcome of this investigation.*


----------



## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I'll be honest with you-- this would be a deal-breaker for me. That's reckless endangerment, to leave prescription drugs within a child's reach. That level of disregard for a child's safety and life is horrifying and I would NOT just try to solve the problem. I would put my foot down and DEMAND that HE solve the problem, and if he didn't do it immediately, I'd leave, and take the child with me. And if he did correct the situation, I'd still not ever leave the child alone with him unsupervised. Maybe I'm being drastic about this, but I would take it extremely seriously.


----------



## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
I asked him to put where DS cannot reach and he said 'that is not acceptable'. I replied 'it's not acceptable if he swallows a pill' but he does not care.







































I....I can't actually say anything here because the user agreement would burst into flames and burn to cinders if I did.

I mean, I....yeah. Uh. Wow.

Okay- here. If anyone else (say a babysitter, MIL, auntie, etc), did something like that and insisted on continuing a situation that is actively life-threatening to a child, would you allow them to be anywhere near your child? It really is like leaving a loaded gun on the counter. *Maybe* your baby won't pick it up. *Maybe* he won't play with it. *Maybe* he won't eat it. But if he does he's going to the hospital, and if you're LUCKY he'll come back out.


----------



## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

In addition to the separate bank account, I'd also have a bag packed with a change of clothes for you and DS, a bit of cash, the things you feel are most important. Keep it somewhere safe that you can get to when you do leave. The prescription thing could just be annoying, but the threats are uncalled for abuse.


----------



## neetling (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Llyra* 
I'll be honest with you-- this would be a deal-breaker for me. That's reckless endangerment, to leave prescription drugs within a child's reach. That level of disregard for a child's safety and life is horrifying and I would NOT just try to solve the problem. I would put my foot down and DEMAND that HE solve the problem, and if he didn't do it immediately, I'd leave, and take the child with me. And if he did correct the situation, I'd still not ever leave the child alone with him unsupervised. Maybe I'm being drastic about this, but I would take it extremely seriously.

I TOTALLY agree with this. Deal Breaker. Totally.


----------



## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MariesMama* 
I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.









: This was my first thought. If the pills are on the counter for convenience and as a reminder to take them, there is nothing LESS convenient about having your child walk off with something you need. Ask my right shoe practically every morning. Difference: my shoes are NOT potentially lethal to my children.

I don't have any personal or professional experience with abusive situations, but I tend to think the posters who have spoken on that point may know whereof they speak.

Also, there are reminder alarms made specifically for medications. I used to have one that could be set for up to four times a day; I had it going off three times, to help me take my two Wellbutrin doses and my extremely time-sensitive BCPs. It had two audible modes (a chime/beep or a voice signal) and a visual mode (flashing light). It came with a ginormous grid-style pill case that it could attach to, but I carried just the alarm in my purse; by itself it was about the size of a pack of gum. He could keep it in his pocket, or on the darned bathroom counter for that matter. (Not that your DS wouldn't walk off with it, too... but at least it would be harder for him to hurt himself with it.) I got mine at CVS, or Sav-On I think they were back then.


----------



## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
I do not know how to get through to H. I asked him to put where DS cannot reach and he said 'that is not acceptable'.

Throw it away. He's a grown man and knows how to dial 911 when he has blood pressure problems. His young son, on the other hand, does not.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Thanks!

Quote:

What would he do if you told him that the issue is serious enough that you'd consider calling CPS? Would he suddenly get how dangerous it is or would it just get worse?
I don't think he would care because he wouldn't think I would do it (and if there is a chance of them taking DS for unsafe environment, I wouldn't risk it). So, it would just make things worse.

joensally, thanks for the links I will check them out.


----------



## Mamafreya (May 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Thanks!

I don't think he would care because he wouldn't think I would do it (and if there is a chance of them taking DS for unsafe environment, I wouldn't risk it). So, it would just make things worse.

joensally, thanks for the links I will check them out.

Yeah, I can understand that. I'm sorry, this is a really sucky situation. I hope it works out for you guys. Good luck and hopefully you'll be able to get through to him.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Thanks mamafreya








and about the previous posts RE: potential abuse, I have been told that before in previous threads, it is tough. We have been going to counseling for about 2 years (although he quit for a while saying he wasn't the problem).


----------



## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

Well, if you're in counseling now, bring this up.

And in your situation, I think I would call CPS on him myself. I'd call and talk to a social worker and see what they can do. I know that in many situations, one of the stipulations is that the person who is putting the child in danger not have contact or have contact only under specific restrictions. It sounds to me like if he won't listen to reason and wants to continue jepoardize your child, then maybe your only hope of getting him to listen is getting the law involved. Yes, having CPS in your life for a while would suck. But it would be infinitely worse to have a child in hospital or dead because of this.

What kinds of pills are they? I'm wondering if some of them are psychiatric drugs because maybe that would explain some of this behavior, which we all find just completely baffling.

And







to you. I know this is an absolutely awful situation you're in where you're having to make decisions no parent should have to make.


----------



## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rainyday* 
Well, if you're in counseling now, bring this up.
(....)
And







to you. I know this is an absolutely awful situation you're in where you're having to make decisions no parent should have to make.

















:


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Thanks, we actually just had an appt. Monday night, however the bulk of the discussion was about DS's wheat issue (which DH doesn't believe that he has and wants to feed him all kinds of wheat, see my other threads for that), so I completely forgot about bringing up the pills on the counter







They are blood pressure pills mainly, and he also leaves OTC stuff like Nyquil, Tums and Advil.
He also has some pretty strong painkillers (prescription) but I think those are usually in the cabinet.


----------



## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Thanks, we actually just had an appt. Monday night, however the bulk of the discussion was about DS's wheat issue (which DH doesn't believe that he has and wants to feed him all kinds of wheat, see my other threads for that), so I completely forgot about bringing up the pills on the counter







They are blood pressure pills mainly, and he also leaves OTC stuff like Nyquil, Tums and Advil.
He also has some pretty strong painkillers (prescription) but I think those are usually in the cabinet.

I have been reading and the other ladies had such great advice that I didn't think to say anything until now. Adding this new information to all the others. Well, I just feel for you soooo much. You are in a hard place.

I see you want your marriage to work. But I would suggest protecting your son first, to he!! with what he thinks.

Meaning, he is actively endangering your child, wants to feed him things that hurt him, is abusive and vindictive. Bottom line, please think about if this marriage is worth your sons health. Perhaps find a place to go?

In the meantime, sweep the medications off the counter into a garbage bag and throw them out. If he gets abusive, call 911 and have him arrested.

What if in the space of the couple days this thread is up your son downs the nyquil and dies? It could happen this minute, a week from now or tonight. Do something RIGHT NOW. Don't be scared of your husband, be tough and know that your child's health is more important than him. Period.


----------



## Mizelenius (Mar 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Sorry, this will not work either. He is the most stubborn person I have ever encountered and this would go on for-e-ver, plus he would just put them back on the counter where DS can get at them. He will do things just to spite me and this would probably be considered some kind of 'game' so there would probably be a 'repercussion' (he threatens also).

This is taking it to another level, though-- now he's involving your child's life.

What I would do is write out a statement and ask him to sign (not that he will) that says he will be held 100% liable if something happens to your son due to these pills.

I would also go put them in the car.


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeliphish* 
Even a half of a blood pressure pill could kill a child.....

stand firm...there is no other option than to put them up. Please google the ramifications of a toddler swallowing a BP pill...show that to your H.

I agree.


----------



## TinkerBelle (Jun 29, 2005)

He will care when you child takes the meds and you are investigated by CPS for neglect. Or worse.

It happens.

A parent who does not do their best to ensure the safety of their children, IMHO, does not truly love their children and should no longer be allowed to be a parent.

How sad that your husband cares more about being right and winning a pissing contest with you, than his own child. How awful for your child.


----------



## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

I think we can ease up on Ophelia a little. It sounds like a pretty complicated situation and that Ophelia's trying to work through a lot of stuff.

From what you've posted, it sounds like you're in that rough patch of life known as parenting a two year old (







), and the whole food sensitivity/allergy thing is a total pita that requires a level of vigilance that's very tiring.

Ophelia, when do you next go to counselling? Can you bring this up as an issue there? Maybe a third party can have some influence. What about DH talking to his pharmacist?

I don't think the meds being left out is in any way negotiable. Can you try this with your DH without setting him off:

"DH, I'm really trying to see your point of view on a whole lot of things. The fact is that two year olds get into things, and that medications can kill a child. If something happened to DS because he got into your medications, it would do irreparable harm to our relationship, to your sense of well being, and would likely lead to charges of child endangerment and involve both the police and CPS. This is not a hard situation to resolve - your medications simply need to be kept in <insert location> all of the time."

The other thing to consider, Ophelia, is that if something were to happen to your child due to his getting into your DH's meds, you could be charged as well for child endangerment/reckless disregard. This is just a bad situation all round.

I hope you're safe with this man, and I hope you find a way to a better place. Take care of yourself.


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Thanks, it is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Obviously, safety comes first. When I did talk to him about it (asked him why he got so upset) he said same as before, that if he doesn't see them he forgets to take them. I said, well what about a post-it on the mirror that is eye level, you will see that every day. I said then if that doesn't work there are lock-boxes you can get. I told him I'm sure that other parents thought "it wouldn't happen to us". I also said if he doesn't believe me he can go ask his co-workers who are PARAMEDICS!

He did agree to try the post-it note for now, but for some odd reason will not start until this weekend (I'll take the liberty of starting this weekend tonight when we get home). What on earth he needs extra time to prepare for, I have no idea







:

yes I will definitely bring the whole thing up at our next appt. It's like it's inconvenient for him to change his way of doing things, he still wants to live like a bachelor.


----------



## TLC5 (Apr 21, 2009)

I have a tool box with a lock on it for my meds.

http://www.centraldelawarehfh.com/re...cToolBoxLg.jpg

Lock

http://www.chicagocase.com/images/pr...TSA_main_1.jpg


----------



## Ophelia (Feb 16, 2005)

Thanks! I did put a post-it on the mirror, and the meds are on the highest shelf of the cabinet, but at some point we still may need to do some kind of box. thanks for the links!


----------



## TLC5 (Apr 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Thanks! I did put a post-it on the mirror, and the meds are on the highest shelf of the cabinet, but at some point we still may need to do some kind of box. thanks for the links!


No problem!


----------



## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miranda2r14* 
Huh? Is he for real? One small act of responsibility to put something away when you're done with it is too much for him? His son's life and safety is worth less than just getting to live the fraternity mess life? I can't even wrap my brain around that.

I agree, I don't get it at all.

I'd move them myself, and every single time DH put them back, I'd move them again, immediately.


----------



## tinybutterfly (May 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ophelia* 
Thanks! I did put a post-it on the mirror, and the meds are on the highest shelf of the cabinet, but at some point we still may need to do some kind of box. thanks for the links!

Glad the post-it note is working!

I just saw this thread and glad you have updated with good news.










P.S. I hope counseling is going well, too.


----------

