# How do you know when you are "done"?



## monkeymommy3 (Jan 9, 2005)

My husband and I have 3 beautiful sons 7,5,and 19 mo. We had a surprise pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage a few months ago. I can't help but feel like there is a little girl waiting in the wings for us, My husband says he is "done" and does not want anymore, says he is ready to move on from babies. I wonder if my feelings are a result of the MC, but I just can't shake the feeling that the team isn't all here.


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## crunchymamatobe (Jul 8, 2004)

I haven't even had my kids yet, but I will be interested to hear what others have to say.


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## Kleine Hexe (Dec 2, 2001)

My hubby also says he's done, but I can't shake the feeling that there is another child hovering around me waiting to join the family. At least I talked hubby out of getting a vas. We'll see.


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## Eman'smom (Mar 19, 2002)

How did you feel about another baby BEFORE the miscarriage? Miscarriages are incredibly hard to deal with.


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## monkeymommy3 (Jan 9, 2005)

When we found out we were pregnant, we were thinking....are we nuts, but very shortly after we got very used to the idea and excited about it even.

Yes, the m/c was very hard to deal with, and we had one before we had our youngest son too, so it's almost like, it just took him a few tries to get through...you know what I mean.


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## gothmommy (Jul 2, 2004)

(((hugs)))
I understand that feeling that a m/c really makes you feel like there are children still left to join your family. After my 1st m/c, that feeling was very strong that there was still another soul that was to join our family. When I got pregnant several months later, I still didn't feel like this was the last child of ours...and then I lost that baby to m/c as well. When Jhonen was born last May, I felt complete. Not complete in an absolute sense, but complete in that any other children that may come into our life didn't yet have a hold of my psyche (if there were any more).


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## Paxetbonum (Jul 16, 2003)

I am open to having many children and so is my dh thankfully. I am so sorry to hear of your little miscarried child.

I love having babies around and it will be a sad day for my when there is no longer a little one in my arms. I think we will be "done" when nature, God, or our finances ordain. Otherwise I hope we will not be finished for many years.


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## MsMoMpls (Oct 22, 2002)

My mother had six babies and she has always said that at some point, you just have to accept the feeling of just wanting one more. I know I put off my second (for 16 years) by having foster kids, spending lots of time with my nieces and nephews, puppies, kittens, plants, fish. And this week, as baby #2 turned 3 and baby #3 turned 1- I am so hungry for another one. But I am 41. The clock is ticking. If there is another baby to come, I better get on the ball. I think I am done. I logically know that I am streched thin, my kids deserve all the energy I can find. And my career has been on the back burner for awhile and it is ready to come forward. So, I may have to get a kitten!


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