# My Spanking Story!



## tifnglen (Jan 19, 2006)

Hi everyone first off i will state that i dont have any children yet.
I am so glad i found this forum. You ladies are insightful. I grew up thinking that children had to be spanked to be controlled. Me and my fiance were talking about spanking the other day. We plan to have children within the next 2-3 years. We were both spanked as children. We dont think it helped us in anyway or made us good children. When i was a child i remember getting spanked for doing kid things like being fidgetty (sp) I remember after a spanking i would think mean things about my parents. We dont want our kids to think about us like that. My fiance remembers getting spanked a lot. Sometimes 3-4 times a week. We came to the conclusion if he was getting spanked that much it could not have be effective. Note: we love our parents and they did not beat us and we think they did what they thought was best. We did grow up to be well adjusted adults.
We are trying to do gentle discipline for our future kids but i will be checking out the forum because cycles are sometimes hard to break.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Welcome! This place has great hands on suggestions. Also check out the sticky with book recomendations.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

It's wonderful that you're both on the same page and wanting to be more gentle with your children!! There are lots of different ways to do GD, and if you hang around a while here you'll definitely get a feel for which 'brand' is best for you - good luck, and welcome!


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Hi!

I second the other opinions. The good thing about not having kids yet is the more you read now, the more information you'll have internalized to deal with future situations.









~Nay


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

Hi, great that you're making these choices and learning about gentle discipline far in advance of having kids. I remember the first time I brought up not spanking to my DH (we didn't have kids yet) and he kind of thought, "well I was spanked and it wasn't abuse and I turned out okay" but I was adamant that we would not so he kind of went along with it. After we had our son and he was still a baby I asked DH's parents about spanking and FIL gave an interesting answer: "We started out spanking because we thought that was just what you did but we didn't think it worked that well and we figured out other things so we stopped." He said that in front of DH which was cool because DH, being the oldest, remembers being spanked and I think wasn't quite aware of his parents deciding not to spank his younger siblings. He really respects his parents and so I think that one little remark by FIL was really powerful!


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

My grandfather used to beat my father & uncles with his belt. That was what you did - I cannot imagine my sweet old 89 year old grandfather doing this! But my dad says it never stopped him from doing anything - he was definitely a troublemaker as a kid - he said it just incented him to not get caught next time.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Its a great thing that you are on the same page regarding spanking. That's a huge plus! I think it's also easier to gd your kids from the beginning, than to start after a few years of punitive parenting. Mostly, I think, because you never get the chance to start a negative cycle.
Welcome, and good luck to the 2 of you


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