# Kids hugging naked?



## Shakti (Nov 20, 2001)

Hi All,

My DD is 4 1/2, and one of her very best friends is a 4 1/2 YO boy (I'll call him A.). I was taking care of A. the other night while the Dads went fishing. I 'caught' them in her bedroom, under the loft bed, hugging. DD had on only her underpants, and A. was completely naked. When I came in, they both jumped away and had that deer-in-headlights look. I did not shame them (I hope!), or tell them it was wrong. I put hands on hips, and very *playfully* said, "What's going on here?" They both said that they were "going to play dress-up." I told them it was too late to play dress-up, and they needed to put their regular clothes back on because their Daddies were going to be home soon, which was true. After I went back to the kitchen, I heard them playing under my desk. (They were fully clothed by then.) They were both pretending that they were a Mommy and Daddy, and they were using one of DD's stuffed animals as their baby. A. was telling DD that after she put baby to bed, they would do 'huggy' again. That is when I decided that I needed to be in the same room with them! I started working at my desk, with them still underneath it. DD asked A. if they should do 'huggy' now, and A. said, "No, we have to go find another house." They set up their new house under the dining room table, presumably to do 'huggy' again. Of course, I followed them, and started to engage in their play.

This was the very first time I have seen this in either of them. I know about the 'I show you mine, you show me yours' routine, and I am OK with that. A. and his parents are very good friends of ours, and there is NO suspicion of any abuse of any kind. I told A.'s Mom all about it, and we are pretty much on the same page regarding this kind of exploration. In fact, I will probably send her a link to this thread. We don't want to instill any kind of 'wrongness' or guilt, but we also need to teach them boundaries. This was very obviously normal exploration. But how far do you let them go?!? To me, having them look at each others bodies is not so bad. But they weren't just looking, they were touching. No, they weren't touching private parts, but they were definitely touching. I have walked in on DD exploring herself before, and I have simply reminded her to be sure to wash her hands afterward, so I am not a real prude about this! LOL

I did a search on this forum for 'sex' and 'sexuality,' and read several threads about kids asking questions, and what kind of answers to give. But what if you 'catch' them exploring each other this way? Where do you draw the line? And *how* do you allow safe, restricted exploration without being a voyeur?


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

I remember doing this as a kid and there was nothing sexual about it, it just felt good hugging someone skin to skin







I can understand why your kinda worried though but this is normal although i'm sure I will be just as worried when my kiddo gets around to doing it. I don't really have any advice beyond just keep an eye on it and explain to her about private parts and that no one has the right to touch them but her, her parents or the Dr is something is wrong.


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