# 16 year old caught smoking pot by the cops...



## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

.... and they let her off. Told the parents, but didn't charge her w/ anything, because it was her first offense. This is a friends daughter. My oldest is 11, so I have yet to deal w/ this scenario. The mom has grounded her for 6 months, until her 17th b-day, taken her $ and cell phone, and feels she should do more. So what would you do? What would an AP parent do? I really don't know what I would do. We have an open dialogue about drugs in our house, but I really don't know how my dc's will handle them when with their peers when the time comes. So W _would_ you do?


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.


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## Mirzam (Sep 9, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar* 
I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.

Same.


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

I would ask the courts to make her do community service. And i would also make sure to sit down and talk to my child about the risks with drugs, and with the consequences of them.


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

I would do exactly the same as Dar.


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## Karamom (Mar 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar* 
I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.

I'm not the mom of a teen but I would do what Dar said.


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## karne (Jul 6, 2005)

In my omnipotent parent fantasy world I'd have a strict talk w/ my child, and expect that our heart to heart would resolve the matter. Perhaps add in a class about driving while impaired, to get a certain message across.

In the real world, I'm w/ Dar, plus some serious discussion about the consequences of driving while impaired.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

thanks ladies. I agree with Dar, and this is what I would do with my own children. I just think that this friend is more fire and brimstone. Not that I'm looking for such suggestions, but a consequences talk would be best at this point.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Grounded for six months?????

Team Dar on this one.

Actually, we already did that last week, apparently 2 classmates/friends were suspended from school for having pot on them, so we had a chat.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

At 16?

With Dar on this one too. Discuss being smart about smoking pot. I'd also ask where she got it from. Discuss smoking weed gotten from someone you wouldn't trust with your life.

Honestly, any kind of punishment won't keep a 16 year old from smoking pot again. Even if she's grounded for 6 months. Besides, that is way too much energy to waste on pot.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Besides, that is way too much energy to waste on pot.

THIS.

In the scheme of things I really do not view pot as a big deal. At all.
I'd probably freak over cigarettes, but not pot.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I wouldn't have grounded her, taken away her money OR taken away the cell phone. Why create artificial consequences when what she's doing already has its own natural consequences? All that parent is going to accomplish is to alienate her daughter. Additionally, she has nothing left to "take away" if the teen does something else dangerous or stupid.

What I would have done was sat down and talked to her. Let her know just how lucky she is that she got off with a warning. Explain to her how a criminal record can affect her life, especially if she got caught after age 18. I'd also do a little research of my own and find out the answers to these questions, as well as the more pertinant ones of "what happens legally when a 16yo or 17yo is found with pot? Are they treated as adults or juveniles?"

I don't have an issue with marijuana per se. I fully support its legalization. The whole aspect of "my kid is smoking a natural herb that easily grows in this climate" doesn't bother me in the slightest. But breaking the law is dangerous because of the legal consequences, period. The only physical danger, really, is connected to its being illegal- how do you know it's not contaminated with something more dangerous?


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
THIS.

In the scheme of things I really do not view pot as a big deal. At all.
I'd probably freak over cigarettes, but not pot.

Pot is a big deal. Once you break the law by smoking pot... you may get on a slippery slope of doing other illegal activities. Because once you break one little law and don't get caught.. why not break another? Laws exist to protect all of us from harm.

P.S. I've recently become a Master Gardener.... pot is in our book of poisonous plants.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Pot is a big deal. Once you break the law by smoking pot... you may get on a slippery slope of doing other illegal activities. Because once you break one little law and don't get caught.. why not break another? Laws exist to protect all of us from harm.

P.S. I've recently become a Master Gardener.... pot is in our book of poisonous plants.

Um... Wow... That's even more expansive then they usual slippery slope argument pertaining to pot, and sorry but no. Just because someone doesn't get caught smoking pot doesn't mean they are more likely to commit other crimes. More likely those who are most likely to not get caught smoking pot are those who are all ready pre-inclided towards other criminal behaviour.

Never have met someone who said "Dude, we didn't get caught smoking weed so lets go rob a bank!"

Just so you know, slippery slope arguments relating to pot have been pretty much discreteded.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Just so you know, slippery slope arguments relating to pot have been pretty much discreteded.

This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Huh... having watched my husband (since he was 17) with these things, breaking the speeding laws and the drinking laws DEFINITELY came WAY before breaking the pot law. And he was never even remotely interested in any "harder" drugs.







: I dunno - I realize this is a single case, but of all the pot smokers I know - the ones who did harder drugs, actually tried the harder drugs first (or cigarettes, too, for that matter), then took a step back and went with pot. Granted this is a single demographic - college students - but in my experience that's not how it was at all with anyone I knew.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.


Hmm. I have been known to speed. I have drunk underage in two different countries, I have jaywalked. I'm sure I could come up with a few more.

But.

I have never smoked pot.

So the slippery slope of getting away with underage drinking/speeding (not at the same time)/jaywalking didn't lead to smoking pot. Why should smoking pot lead to the others?


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## dawningmama (Jan 14, 2003)

Ditto what Dar said.

My goal is to raise kids who know & respect the law, but also question it and know the consequences of breaking it.


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## BedHead (Mar 8, 2007)

I don't buy the slippery slope argument either.

As for the OP, as usual I pretty much totally agree with Ruthla







The fact the law was broken would be the focus of my talks. Although, possession of pot is pretty well ignored here in Canada - not a single person I know who uses it personally has ever been charged with simple possession. And I don't know how well my kids would listen to me anyway - I get raw milk illegally, and the penalties for that here are greater than pot possession for sure!


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Well, I wouldn't ground her for six months. But, maybe I'd ground her.

When I was 16, my mom was having a party. While she was occupied, I took the truck out to the park with some friends. (I only had a learner's permit)

The cops picked us up because we were being obnoxious and drawing attention to ourselves.

I had to wait nine more months to get my license. I had to get a new learner's permit in six months. It was humiliating to be the ONLY 17 YEAR OLD IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WITH THE MEANEST PARENTS ON EARTH.

But, I never screwed up like that again. I still screwed up. Just not like that.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.

Um, I don't think it's pot that causes people to speed, drink underage, break little laws like that. I think it's society that causes it. Here people speed whether they have smoked pot or not. Drinking underage? Heck it's even legal if your parents give you the alcohol and your in your home. I also know that people tend to give that one a try at least once whether they have smoked pot or not. And you know, even though it's technically illegal most people don't even realize it is just because of the way the _law enforcment officers_ treat it. So breaking the pot law doesn't get equated with being able to break any other laws.

And yeah, smoking, speeding and drinking tend to come before weed not after.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

I'm really getting annoyed and upset at all the pro-pot posts here at MDC.

Pot is illegal and has no place in MY life or my children's lives.

You can rationalize for your family all you want.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
I'm really getting annoyed and upset at all the pro-pot posts here at MDC.

Pot is illegal and has no place in MY life or my children's lives.

You can rationalize for your family all you want.

You can dislike it all you want. But _please_ don't use discredited theories to justify it. There are decent enough ligitimate reasons to not approve of pot that you don't really need to tout the "reefer madness" bull.

I get fed up with all of _that._


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Not to mention that not all the posters here come from places where smoking marijuana is punishable by jail time. And you're assuming that anyone who ever smokes it is doing so because it's totally like cocaine, or something. Or that it has proven medicinal uses for people - oh, I don't know... like me! - who suffer with life-long and severe chronic pain could easily get a license to grow a plant, but wouldn't really need to due to the fact that it's decriminalized where I live and no one cares. And literally everyone I know, am related to or work for (or was taught by) smokes a joint as they would have a glass of wine.

...And strangely enough we usually don't have a huge crime problem.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Pot is a big deal. Once you break the law by smoking pot... you may get on a slippery slope of doing other illegal activities. Because once you break one little law and don't get caught.. why not break another? Laws exist to protect all of us from harm.

P.S. I've recently become a Master Gardener.... pot is in our book of poisonous plants.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.

OMG I couldn't get past this 2nd post of yours. Not only do I completely disagree with your first post.. but I think the second borders on rediculous. Smoking pot is going to make you speed now?? I wonder why my husbands excuse is. He has never touched herb in his life. I can't even get him to take tylonal. But I am pretty sure he speeds because he doesnt like to drive slow. Not becuase it's "breaking the law" or becuase he thinks it's easier having smoked pot in the past and not got caught. But becuase some laws are just plane stupid and I think people using common sense is more important than following the letter of the law.

That said... for once.. I agree with Dar. I don't think pot is that big of a deal. It is not poisonous, (I have eaten it and am still here to talk about it!!) I think the mom went WAY WAY overboard and is just going to drive her daughter further away from her. I know in my case I started smoking because 1. I was always being accused of it so I figured if I was going to get in trouble for it I might as well be doing it. and 2. To escape from my crappy home life.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Maybe she means it's poisonous in the sense that it's a weed and will take over a garden if left unchecked? It can be as aggressive as any other weed...


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
I'm really getting annoyed and upset at all the pro-pot posts here at MDC.

Pot is illegal and has no place in MY life or my children's lives.

You can rationalize for your family all you want.

I am sorry it annoys you so. Just because it has no place in your life (your children might be another story when they get to be teens, you can't control their every move no matter what you think or wish.) does not mean that it is this great big evil that people try to make it out to be.

Laws don't always make sense. Pot for instance is much safer than alcohol in my opinion. It is not nearly as addictive and does less damage to your body, however it is illegal and alcohol is not. You really need to look at the history of how big cooperations shape the laws of this country, NOT SAFETY.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
Maybe she means it's poisonous in the sense that it's a weed and will take over a garden if left unchecked? It can be as aggressive as any other weed...

I dunno.. every time my BF's parents tride to grow it, it vanished just as it was time to harvest.  I have never seen anyone have a problem with it taking over. 

However tomato plants are poisons as well. We still grow and eat them.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Pot for instance is much safer than alcohol in my opinion. It is not nearly as addictive and does less damage to your body, however it is illegal and alcohol is not. You really need to look at the history of how big cooperations shape the laws of this country, NOT SAFETY.

It isn't just your opinion: that's a fact.







The prohibition of marijuana is deeply rooted in racism against Mexican people rather than health problems... the Reefer Madness stuff followed some time later. There's a lot of really fascinating and weird history out there about why it's illegal.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
It isn't just your opinion: that's a fact.







The prohibition of marijuana is deeply rooted in racism against Mexican people rather than health problems... the Reefer Madness stuff followed some time later. There's a lot of really fascinating and weird history out there about why it's illegal.

Yes well, since I didn't feel like searching for links to back it up, I said in my opinion.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Yes well, since I didn't feel like searching for links to back it up, I said in my opinion. 

LOL, don't fret - I was backing you up!


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
It isn't just your opinion: that's a fact.







The prohibition of marijuana is deeply rooted in racism against Mexican people rather than health problems... the Reefer Madness stuff followed some time later. There's a lot of really fascinating and weird history out there about why it's illegal.

I did some research on it when I was in the midst of a paper about the effects of cocaine on fetuses for a class (the other drugs studies came up, too)... granted this was 10 years ago, but there was shockingly little evidence that it was a harmful substance. SHOCKINGLY little, considering how it's illegal.

There's some decent documentaries out there on the politics and history behind weed if anyone's interested.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Pot as a poisonous plant....

http://www.angelfire.com/pro/realm/PoisonLM.html

http://drdemine.com/library/misc/toxicplants.html

Legalities of pot usage....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabi..._United_States

Dangers of pot..

http://www.womenshealth.gov/quit-smo.../marijuana.cfm


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Um, on the dangers of pot link. You might want to consider finding a different site. The USs government doens't have much credibility when it comes to mj. Just saying. They have a history of messing with the facts and twisting the information.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar* 
I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.

Same here.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html


I am 100% sure that the medicinal value of marijuana is higher than any potential "medical danger".

and FWIW, Tylenol, caffeine, cough medicine and other drugs can be far more dangerous than pot. I would be shocked if a parent grounded their teen for 6 months because they drank a 6-pack of soda.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html

Did you even read the site? It pretty much said nothing but "it has been suggested but not proven". And it's link sections were to user-created sites about reefer madness and "marijuana news". Peer reviewed research, please.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html

Go so you have sources to discuss it with your children that won't leave them thinking back and saying "I can't believe my mom said that". I personally could care less, I've done my research and reached my own conclusion as have many other parents here and in the real world and decided differently then you.

As for legallity where I am. It's pretty much in limbo. Technically it is illegal but the constitutionality of the laws have been challenged a few times and the laws have been ruled unconstitutional.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabi...tion_in_Canada


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
As for legallity where I am. It's pretty much in limbo. Technically it is illegal but the constitutionality of the laws have been challenged a few times and the laws have been ruled unconstitutional.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabi...tion_in_Canada

I'm Canadian as well, West Coast. The finer points of the law are essentially you can grow a few plants, and posses (not in a school zone) but if you are clearly a dealer (massive amounts, 500+ plants, etc) then you could get fined. And selling to kids as a dealer is a no-no as well.
As a pain, cancer, etc patient you can receive a license to grow/possess from your doc but honestly it's not necessary.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

You guys are missing the point. The op is saying that this girl was caught by the cops with something illegal. It doesn't really matter if YOU think it's OK or not. It's still illegal.

In some states it's illegal to babysit anybody's kids more than two days in a row (even for free) without getting a daycare license. Even if it's just a favor to a friend. It's a stupid law. Yet, it's still a law.

If you don't like a law, change it. Until then you are expected to follow that law, or face the consequenses. If this girl gets caught again, she will have to face some pretty severe consequenses. It's great that you would all happily support her, but that won't actually help her much.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
You guys are missing the point. The op is saying that this girl was caught by the cops with something illegal. It doesn't really matter if YOU think it's OK or not. It's still illegal.


oh, I get that. But it sounded like the cops let the teen go with a warning (?)

I think our point is that breaking the law isn't always a punishable offense.

And surely, getting away with smoking pot (legally and without grounding from parents) does NOT lead to a I can do anything I want with no regards to others or the law, mentality... which is what a PP made it sound like with the speeding example.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 

I think our point is that breaking the law isn't always a punishable offense.

Exactly that. Just because something is illegal doesn't mean you should punish your kids for doing it. If you really don't agree with the law then it seems absurd to me to punish your child for doing something you have nothing against just because the guys making the laws disagree with you.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html

Propaganda.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
You guys are missing the point. The op is saying that this girl was caught by the cops with something illegal. It doesn't really matter if YOU think it's OK or not. It's still illegal.

In some states it's illegal to babysit anybody's kids more than two days in a row (even for free) without getting a daycare license. Even if it's just a favor to a friend. It's a stupid law. Yet, it's still a law.

If you don't like a law, change it. Until then you are expected to follow that law, or face the consequenses. If this girl gets caught again, she will have to face some pretty severe consequenses. It's great that you would all happily support her, but that won't actually help her much.

And if you read Dar's post that everyone agreed with, it was said that most people would talk to their child and discuss the consequences of being caught with pot and what it could do to the child's future. No one said there were no consequences.. most people said that the mom in the OP went way overboard. And personally in my opinion iis going to drive the child further away and more into drugs. Over bearing, control freak parents often do that.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

We've kind of swerved off the OP here, and all these more recent posts are a debate about how "dangerous" pot really is. So it's not really that we're all 'missing the point' as much as the point of the thread has morphed a little.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.

Interesting. Everybody I knew who smoked pot was breaking the underage drinking laws _first_. I did both. I never got a license as a teen, because I found the responsibility of a car too overwhelming. I highly doubt I would have broken the speed limit. Actually - I broke laws that were set up to protect me from _myself_ without a second's hesitation. That didn't mean I thought I had the right to break other people's stuff, hurt people, etc.

And, the law against pot _is_ dumb. It's virtually unenforceable and doesn't serve any protective purpose whatsoever. It's dumb. I'll tolerate that belief from my kids, because I'm not going to pretend the law isn't stupid when it is.

Oh - and ds1 completely agrees with me about the anti-pot laws being stupid. But, he doesn't smoke it. He thinks kids (teens) who do drugs are idiots, and can't believe his own mom was that dumb. So...beliefs about the law itself don't necessarily mean much.

As for the parents who grew up in "herb friendly" households? I knew a few of them, too. Most of them had _very_ permissive parents, and were very much raised with the belief that they were more important than the people around them, and should be able to do whatever the heck they wanted to do. A couple of them did have an attitude problem - but I don't think it had anything to do with the actual smoking of pot.

ETA: I just caught up on the thread. re: the legality of pot. I quit smoking it almost 20 years ago, so I don't pay attention these days. I can say that it was illegal when I was a teenager...and I never saw anybody get any flack from the cops for it, unless they were caught with at least a quarter ounce. Even then, it was usually a talking to and that was that.


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## deny_zoo29 (Sep 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Pot is a big deal. Once you break the law by smoking pot... you may get on a slippery slope of doing other illegal activities. Because once you break one little law and don't get caught.. why not break another? Laws exist to protect all of us from harm.

P.S. I've recently become a Master Gardener.... pot is in our book of poisonous plants.

I have to mostly agree here! Why is pot NOT a big deal?! Whether or not you personaly feel it is right or not, it is ILLEGAL in the U.S.! So your child should not be allowed to do it! Period.
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as leinent? While I don't 100% agree that smoking pot will make you break other laws I do believe it is illegal for a reason and that this law needs to be followed just like any other.
And if this were my teen I would ask for a more stern sentence rather than nothing. Maybe community service somewhere she didn't want to be. ANd I would definitely keep the phone and $ and privelages to a minimum because she not only broke a rule but a law.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html

Of course there are side effects to smoking pot. I don't think anyone here was saying otherwise.

There are also side effects to drinking large amounts of soda. I think diabetes and obesity are killing more people than pot is, and there are no laws about prohibiting corn syrup.

See, what we're saying is not that pot is good for you....we're saying that laws don't always make sense.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar* 
I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.

same thing!


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
Interesting. Everybody I knew who smoked pot was breaking the underage drinking laws _first_.

Same here.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
And, the law against pot _is_ dumb.

So is the underage drinking law, IMO.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
Oh - and ds1 completely agrees with me about the anti-pot laws being stupid. But, he doesn't smoke it. He thinks kids (teens) who do drugs are idiots....

My kids, as well. For them, a party would mean a keg of root beer.









Spending money on pot would mean less money for video games.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
If you don't like a law, change it. Until then you are expected to follow that law, or face the consequenses.

It's rare that a law gets changed by people following it. Progress needs dissent. Of course there will be consequences; it's the brave people who change laws. Like Rosa Parks.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Um... Wow... That's even more expansive then they usual pertaining to pot, and sorry but no. Just because someone doesn't get caught smoking pot doesn't mean they are more likely to commit other crimes. *More likely those who are most likely to not get caught smoking pot are those who are all ready pre-inclided towards other criminal behaviour.
*
Never have met someone who said "Dude, we didn't get caught smoking weed so lets go rob a bank!"

Just so you know, slippery slope arguments relating to pot have been pretty much discreteded.

in my experience those who are more inclined to other criminal behavior DO get caught...for other things and in the process get caught with pot or some other drug.

but i've known many many potheads...as a teen and as an adult. and you're right...those who smoke aren't necessarily criminals.

anyway...i haven't read all the responses, but my general feeling is at 16 i would talk with them about the consequences of smoking and getting caught. MAKE SURE they are on no other drugs, that includes cigarettes and alcohol. I would try to get an honest answer about how much they smoke...and if it's an unhealthy amount, I would request that they slow down. Especially if he/she is having a hard time at school/home/socially.

Pot doesn't effect kids the way it effects adults. As an adult I truly believe in the idea of medicinal marijuana. But for kids, it can be harmful to the developing brain.


----------



## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

and as for getting caught with pot being an unfathomable destructive force which will ruin you forever...

dh was caught twice with pot.
me once.
friend once.
brother twice.
friend twice.

none of us have ever been brought up on drug charges. we always got the charges amended down (and this is in a mandatory minimum sentencing state!!!) and the MOST I've heard of anyone being penalized was my husband who had $2,000 fines and 100 hours community service--and he enjoyed that part.

of course, the fact that we are all suburban white kids probably had VERY much to do with that. and that is a whole other can of worms.


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## mariamadly (Jul 28, 2009)

Mom is conveying that she cares more about maintaining control than she does about her daughter's well-being (even though this may be the furthest thing from the truth -- it's how she may come across). The daughter's attention will be focused on what her mother removed rather than how she might best guard her own health and safety.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deny_zoo29* 
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as leinent? .

If it's an equally stupid law. YES! For instance, if you are 18 and your BF/GF is 17 it is illegal for you to have sex. I find that stupid and ridiculous and really none of the government's business if they are both consenting AND and the age difference is only a few years. (not say 10.)

Quote:

163.445 Sexual misconduct. (1) A person commits the crime of sexual misconduct if the person engages in sexual intercourse or deviate sexual intercourse with an unmarried person under 18 years of age.

(2) Sexual misconduct is a Class C misdemeanor.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
If it's an equally stupid law. YES! For instance, if you are 18 and your BF/GF is 17 it is illegal for you to have sex. I find that stupid and ridiculous and really none of the government's business if they are both consenting AND and the age difference is only a few years. (not say 10.)

I don't know how many of these are true, but there's some really stupid laws out there that were just never repealed...for instance: http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...n_arizona.html








I guess I wouldn't punish my daughter for wearing pants, either...


----------



## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

That 17/18 sex law drives me nuts. I'm older than my DH and we were each other's first. His mother made a really scary joke when I visited him the first time and turned 18 about how she could prosecute me for statutory rape. She really didn't like me at the time and was trying to warm up to me (that whole "taking away my baby" thing) but holy crap was I ever scared for my life!

... still didn't stop me from having sex though.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deny_zoo29* 
I have to mostly agree here! Why is pot NOT a big deal?! Whether or not you personaly feel it is right or not, it is ILLEGAL in the U.S.! So your child should not be allowed to do it! Period.
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as leinent? While I don't 100% agree that smoking pot will make you break other laws I do believe it is illegal for a reason and that this law needs to be followed just like any other.

1. The argument is very legalist argument. (hmm wonder if maybe that's where the word comes from







) Follow the law just because it's the law. In our house we don't place high value on the unquestioned obedience to authority.

2. There are plenty of laws I would be lenient on, there are plenty of laws I wouldn't be so lenient on. Along the lines of age of consent laws, Canada has a two year age discrepency between age of consent and the age of consent for a certain sexual act that unfairly criminalizes a specific portion of the population. It's been determined unconstitutional by two courts in Canada, but it's still the law. I will not, however, require either of my children to follow that specific law simply because the very nature of it is discriminatory.

3. Pot is illegal for one reason, and one reason only... Money! Too many big important people will loose too much money if pot is made legal, and I'm not talking about the dealers.


----------



## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Juvysen* 
I don't know how many of these are true, but there's some really stupid laws out there that were just never repealed...for instance: http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...n_arizona.html








I guess I wouldn't punish my daughter for wearing pants, either...

In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.


----------



## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.

Is it still illegal if you do find him?


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
And, the law against pot _is_ dumb.

That is your opinion. Not mine or my family's or any of my IRL friends.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
That is your opinion. Not mine or my family's or any of my IRL friends.

That is because you have not educated yourself on the real reason it is illegal and buy into the propaganda the government dishes out.

The opinion of the nation is changing. I just read today that California is trying to make it legal. WooHoo! And we all know that once Cali does something the rest of the west will and then it will head east from there.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Is it still illegal if you do find him?









No, then it's okay. But then it's illegal again if you kill him. You have to leave him alive, wiggle your thumb and say, "Ooga booga". Then walk away peacefully.

IT'S THE LAW.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Well I am glad Oregon has no such law. I am sure we can hunt him as much as we want. 

I wonder if we need "big foot" tags however. Hrmm...


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 

The opinion of the nation is changing. I just read today that California is trying to make it legal. WooHoo! And we all know that once Cali does something the rest of the west will and then it will head east from there. 

yeah, and there's a good chance the laws will change by the time small children of today are teens. Speaking of, considering that the cop in the OP's scenario let the pot smoker off with a warning, means that there are plenty of law enforcement officers who don't agree with the government.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

Going back to the OP question, if it was my teen, I might consider requiring my child to research and report to me on all the possible consequences of being convicted of possession of MJ. I might withhold privileges (driving, etc.) until I was convinced they understood what all might happen if they got caught again by a different police officer.

In my state, that could include up to 30 days in jail and a suspended driver's license. I would also want them to understand it could prevent them from getting the scholarship money from the state towards college (and $5,000 per year is probably worth finding other ways to relax with friends).


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
yeah, and there's a good chance the laws will change by the time small children of today are teens. Speaking of, considering that the cop in the OP's scenario let the pot smoker off with a warning, means that there are plenty of law enforcement officers who don't agree with the government.

And or their opinions are changing as well.









However I do remember getting in trouble for being out after curfew and all my friends were drunk (I wasn't drinking) and the cops only called ONE friends mom. She came and got us, knocked on one girls front door and told her mom. Took me back to their house where I was staying the night and never told my mom.







Becuase she







me. And because I wasn't drunk. Hehe.. When they looked at my ID they were like, oh you live across the street from my boss.







And since you aren't drunk and smarting off I wont call your mom. Hehe. But Oy was my friend being a dummy and running her mouth. hehe.

Anyway.. I think what they do has a lot to do with how the teen acts when they get caught.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar* 
I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.

This. Exactly.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
At 16?

With Dar on this one too. Discuss being smart about smoking pot. I'd also ask where she got it from. Discuss smoking weed gotten from someone you wouldn't trust with your life.

Honestly, any kind of punishment won't keep a 16 year old from smoking pot again. Even if she's grounded for 6 months. Besides, that is *way too much energy to waste on pot.*

My bold-and this is a GREAT way to phrase it. Well said!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Pot is a big deal. Once you break the law by smoking pot... you may get on a slippery slope of doing other illegal activities. Because once you break one little law and don't get caught.. why not break another? Laws exist to protect all of us from harm.

P.S. I've recently become a Master Gardener.... pot is in our book of poisonous plants.

So is Rhubarb.









And...why is it people don't say the same about speeding? About drinking? Smoking cigarettes? Just because it's POT it's somehow a slippery slope? There's NO evidence of this. None.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.

Really? I have a hard time believing 'herb friendly' households would come to this conclusion. I've got lots of friends in the 'herb friendly' category and I can assure you that's not the thinking whatsoever. As for the kind of thinking you'll "tolerate" under your roof, my only response is that this is the exact kind of thinking that will get them out from under roof (and therefore away from your potentially helpful influence) very quickly. I'd really encourage you to reevaluate this stance for the sake of your future relationship with your children. I hope you are able to get to a point where you can disagree with their choices without deciding they aren't a part of your household.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
I'm really getting annoyed and upset at all the pro-pot posts here at MDC.

Pot is illegal and has no place in MY life or my children's lives.

You can rationalize for your family all you want.

??? Maybe it's illegal where you are, but it's not illegal in a large part of the world INCLUDING many states in the US.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Um, on the dangers of pot link. You might want to consider finding a different site. The USs government doens't have much credibility when it comes to mj. Just saying. They have a history of messing with the facts and twisting the information.

The US Government twists information and messes with facts??

















Surely you jest!!










Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
Of course there are side effects to smoking pot. I don't think anyone here was saying otherwise.

There are also side effects to drinking large amounts of soda. I think diabetes and obesity are killing more people than pot is, and there are no laws about prohibiting corn syrup.

See, what we're saying is not that pot is good for you....we're saying that laws don't always make sense.

Thank you! I was going to say this too, I appreciate this point very much!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
It's rare that a law gets changed by people following it. Progress needs dissent. Of course there will be consequences; it's the brave people who change laws. Like Rosa Parks.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Juvysen* 
I don't know how many of these are true, but there's some really stupid laws out there that were just never repealed...for instance: http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...n_arizona.html








I guess I wouldn't punish my daughter for wearing pants, either...

Me either, but if she pushed a live moose out of an airplane....now for THAT I'd start some serious grounding time...









Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
1. The argument is very legalist argument. (hmm wonder if maybe that's where the word comes from







) Follow the law just because it's the law. In our house we don't place high value on the unquestioned obedience to authority.

2. There are plenty of laws I would be lenient on, there are plenty of laws I wouldn't be so lenient on. Along the lines of age of consent laws, Canada has a two year age discrepancy between age of consent and the age of consent for a certain sexual act that unfairly criminalizes a specific portion of the population. It's been determined unconstitutional by two courts in Canada, but it's still the law. I will not, however, require either of my children to follow that specific law simply because the very nature of it is discriminatory.

3. Pot is illegal for one reason, and one reason only... Money! Too many big important people will loose too much money if pot is made legal, and I'm not talking about the dealers.

GREAT points.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Is it still illegal if you do find him?









I'm betting if you find him you wouldn't have to worry about the legal ramifications, just where to put all the moolah!


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

My kids have a book from 1975 called "You Can't Eat Peanuts in Church and Other Little Known Laws." It's awfully funny. There is a law in Wyoming that prohibits one from photographing a rabbit from January-April. Still on the books, from what I understand.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
Is it still illegal if you do find him?









Of course! He's a rare spieces, he needs to be protected in his natural habitat!

I could probably get a book deal out of it though. I can write it while I'm in prison.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Oh!

You can't drag a dead horse down Young street in Toronto. No clue how the Torontoites have fun without that...


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
Oh!

You can't drag a dead horse down Young street in Toronto. No clue how the Torontoites have fun without that...

To be honest... I probably *would* be pretty angry if my kid was doing that... because first, where did they get the horse?? and why is it dead?? and why did they think it was appropriate to drag it down a city street??

Of course, if it was the next street over, it'd probably be ok (or I might never find out about it!)


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

I don't want to interupt the hilarity of horse dragging and the like but just wanted to say as a teen I smoked more than my fair share of pot and this was at 15, 16 and so on...To the OP, all those things that the mother did aren't going to do a thing. My mom actually threatened to send me to rehab and I just kept on with my behavior, I used to smoke in my own house at night after she went to bed. Sometimes you can't stop your kid no matter what. I do like the idea of informing them of the real consequences, like not being able to get a scholarship or something, that never crossed my mind at that age...

Also in some states the most you can legally get now for possession (simple possession) is a ticket like speeding. I'm thinking MA where I live right now and they just decriminalized it.


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## mariamadly (Jul 28, 2009)

First off, I'm pro-legalization. I think it's vital that the girl be aware of all the possible systemic consequences regarding a criminal record, impact on school admissions or hiring, etc. But I also think the part about knowing who you're with is important on many levels. "Good company" doesn't just mean people who won't touch the stuff, or merely won't rat you out if you do. It matters more that she's among friends, or in a safe situation herself, when she's in a vulnerable state -- maybe even with one person not using depending on the circumstances. Looking after one another is never a bad idea, and it looks as though the mom's approach (from what I read) seems to omit concern for her daughter in this regard completely.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.

Yup. I wouldn't be upset about ds1 hunting Sasquatch (would be upset if he caught and hurt a Sasquatch, though!). I'd be upset if he started smoking pot, because his background includes a lot of addiction (my dad's an alcholic, and ds1's dad is a long-time _heavy_ pot smoker and crack addict, and both his paternal grandparents have serious addictions, as well). There are lots of laws he could break that wouldn't bother me...and lots he could break that would.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ldavis24* 
I don't want to interupt the hilarity of horse dragging and the like but just wanted to say as a teen I smoked more than my fair share of pot and this was at 15, 16 and so on...To the OP, all those things that the mother did aren't going to do a thing. My mom actually threatened to send me to rehab and I just kept on with my behavior, I used to smoke in my own house at night after she went to bed. Sometimes you can't stop your kid no matter what. I do like the idea of informing them of the real consequences, like not being able to get a scholarship or something, that never crossed my mind at that age...

This, too. The kids I knew whose parents came down the hardest about things like pot were, generally, the ones who were "acting out" the most (sneaking out bedroom windows, cutting class to have sex in their bf's van, doing drugs, etc.). Being this hard line is very unlikely to be helpful.

I don't think I ever answered the actual question, but if ds1 were to smoke pot, I'd probably do just what Dar suggested. We'd have a talk about the consequences, and make sure he really understood that things can go wrong. Oh - and I'd explain to him that all hell will break out if he _ever_ smokes and drives (he doesn't have a license yet, though). That's not cool.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
That is your opinion. Not mine or my family's or any of my IRL friends.

Yes, it's my opinion. I'm not a fan of laws that only exist to protect us from ourselves. Except for the ramifications of the whole criminal network that provides the pot in the first place - and only exists _because_ pot is illegal! - smoking pot doesn't hurt anybody except the person smoking it. Enforcing the anti-pot laws is expensive, time consuming and _doesn't work_. So...it's a stupid law. Laws that are virtually unenforceable and don't protect anybody, except _possibly_ from themselves, are stupid laws. Even if I agreed that pot is sooooo bad (which I don't), it's a stupid law, because it doesn't accomplish anything.


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## bronxmom (Jan 22, 2008)

I would NEVER want to teach my kid to obey the law just because it's the law - or any other form of authority for that matter. I would want them to think critically about the reason for certain laws/authority, whether they agree and what the risks/consequences and motivations might be for breaking a certain law.

Some laws I would absolutely support and be proud of my child breaking: civil disobedience for example would be something I would be downright proud of. There's nothing I would have wanted more than my daughter to tell me she was going to join the sit-ins in the South during the 50's and 60's.

There are other laws that I disagree with but it's easier to follow and not worth the risk to yourselves and others to break. Or that I think you have to be very careful about and know the risks if you're going to break. Marijuana use definitely falls in this category. If caught, you can end up not being able to get a teaching or nursing license, being ineligible for scholarships, do jail time, etc. I'm much more convincing to my child if I explain the risks then if I try to tell her she should obey the law because "it's the law" or "drugs are bad". Teenagers are smart and just shifting developmentally to questioning the world around them and what they've been told - they're not going to buy a load of bs and they're not going to respond well to just cracking down. Not how I'd want to raise my kid.

Btw, just in general, I have a really hard time with the concept of getting kids to obey authority. One point Kohn makes is that kids who are taught to just obey or "be good" tend to transfer that allegiance to their peers in teenhood. The answer is not to work harder to keep that authority ourselves as parents but to help our children develop their own inner compass that will allow them to navigate issues as they grow.


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## Litbit (Nov 3, 2009)

i didnt read all the responsed but what i said to my daughter, :" I know your going to do what you want no matter what i say but it really disappoints me to see you doing this kind of stuff and i know you can make better choices. Maybe wait until your older to do this. I would rather you do this than drink though so keep that in mind and also know you can call me for a ride if you ever get into a situation you feel is too much." LOL She didn't touch it after that....but if you find my other post you will see my othere issues. POt is not a big deal really, needs to be legal, and its not a gateway. Alcohol does way more harm that weed.


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## AbundantLife (Jun 4, 2005)

I think you should buy some seeds from a reputable dealer, set up a safe indoor growing area and grow your own marijuana. When the plants are ready to cultivate, teach her the correct method for rolling joints and join her for some mother-daughter bonding time safe in the confines of your own home.

(of course, only do this when the younger kids aren't home)


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## hippiemama76 (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MariaMadly* 
First off, I'm pro-legalization. I think it's vital that the girl be aware of all the possible systemic consequences regarding a criminal record, impact on school admissions or hiring, etc. But I also think the part about knowing who you're with is important on many levels. "Good company" doesn't just mean people who won't touch the stuff, or merely won't rat you out if you do. It matters more that she's among friends, or in a safe situation herself, when she's in a vulnerable state -- maybe even with one person not using depending on the circumstances. Looking after one another is never a bad idea, and it looks as though the mom's approach (from what I read) seems to omit concern for her daughter in this regard completely.

I agree with this entire post. I think because the mom in the OP came down so hard on her daughter, the next time the daughter smokes ('cuz more likely than not, she will) the only lesson the daughter will have learned is to cover it up better. That makes me think of shady people and shady circumstances.

My parents were open and honest with me about their drug experiences, and the biggest lesson I learned was to make smart decisions. Be in a safe place. Be with people who will take care of you, and people you will take care of. Make sure someone is aware enough to make good choices. Be aware of the benefits versus the risks. (Yeah it would be fun to be high right now, but I'm in a public place/with people I don't know/not sure where this weed came from/have a test tomorrow/etc.)

Just for giggles, I called and asked my mom about it. Her quote, "You were a good kid. You were in the IB program, in sports, in clubs. You were respectful, and kept your room clean. You visited your grandparents several times a week. You volunteered. Man, I would have needed a joint or two to relax from all that. Now, if you were some little smart a-- who was failing out of school and in general being a big jerk, it would have been totally different."

Hmm. No wonder that I could/did/and still do talk to my mom about everything in an open and honest manner.


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## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

I heard a news story about a dad who found his 16 y.o.'s closet locked. So curious he barged in there, found a mj plant and called the police on HER.

Most ppl here thought he should have just gotten rid of the plant. Heard this on the radio. What do you all think? My dad would have taken the plant and built a greenhouse. So I'm trying to understand calling the police on your own teen.


----------



## lotusdebi (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Labbemama* 
I heard a news story about a dad who found his 16 y.o.'s closet locked. So curious he barged in there, found a mj plant and called the police on HER.

Most ppl here thought he should have just gotten rid of the plant. Heard this on the radio. What do you all think? My dad would have taken the plant and built a greenhouse. So I'm trying to understand calling the police on your own teen.

My mom called the cops on my little brother when she found a small amount of pot in his room. She's a very "follow the law because it's the law" kind of person. She also excuses the cops for nearly killing my stepbrother over a baggie of weed. In her mind, he deserved it because he did drugs.
Her mentality is dangerous, and not one that I share. We're not close, and I don't think I'll ever forgive her for taking the side of dumb laws over her children's health and safety.


----------



## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Labbemama* 
I heard a news story about a dad who found his 16 y.o.'s closet locked. So curious he barged in there, found a mj plant and called the police on HER.

Most ppl here thought he should have just gotten rid of the plant. Heard this on the radio. What do you all think? My dad would have taken the plant and built a greenhouse. So I'm trying to understand calling the police on your own teen.

I'd say that's a huge over-reaction. How about talking? How about opening a dialog? How about being a family? If you have serious issues why not TALK. It's like equating pot with murdering someone just because they both have some sort of law-related punishment.


----------



## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot* 
I'd say that's a huge over-reaction. How about talking? How about opening a dialog? How about being a family? If you have serious issues why not TALK. *It's like equating pot with murdering someone just because they both have some sort of law-related punishment.*

Some people feel that way however. I find it amazing the number of people who think pot is as bad as heroine.


----------



## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Labbemama* 
I heard a news story about a dad who found his 16 y.o.'s closet locked. So curious he barged in there, found a mj plant and called the police on HER.

Most ppl here thought he should have just gotten rid of the plant. Heard this on the radio. What do you all think? *My dad would have taken the plant and built a greenhouse.* So I'm trying to understand calling the police on your own teen.

Your dad and my dad should go out and tend the weeds together... Mind probably would have done the same thing.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

I am pretty sure my mom wouldn't have called the cops on me because she would have been terrified of CPS taking me away. I think she would have contemplated it, though...


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

DH's mother is exactly the kind of person who would call the cops on her son..I think she did once when it was related to alcohol and he was underage. Then again it isn't surprising since he went to court and got legally emancipated at the age of 16 so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

My mom would have grounded me for a month all the while not knowing I would smoke during lunch breaks at school!

I wouldn't want to tear the plant up but I think at some point until my kid is 18 I have to draw the line. As an adult you can also get in quite a bit of trouble for something like that around your minor child. Growing is very different in the eyes of the law from just possessing MJ.


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## Labbemama (May 23, 2008)

My adopted dad let my sister go nuts trying to find her stash in the room. They always told us they flushed it and made a big deal about how their house could be seized but I really think they smoked it.


----------



## DinaAurichio (Aug 11, 2005)

As a mom of 2 teenage boys; 15 & 17 and an 11yo daughter, we have had plenty of discussion about the use and misuse of using drugs and alcohol. Both my boys have tried pot and really liked it. Especially my 15yo, to the point that he was called out as a burn out, ostracized by his friends and spent the summer alone, all by his own doing. It was heartbreaking to watch. He has been grounded, cut off from the computer, cell phone, forget giving him money and none of it really made a difference to him until he came to the decision to not smoke pot. Lots of tears ( mine and his) and today we are in a good place. Hopefully he can stay strong enough to keep on saying no. Rather than call these kids out as bad, maybe we, as parents need to stop and think about the words we are putting out and how they not only will affect the child using the drugs but thier families as well.


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## Fruitful4Him (Jun 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
You can dislike it all you want. But _please_ don't use discredited theories to justify it. There are decent enough ligitimate reasons to not approve of pot that you don't really need to tout the "reefer madness" bull.

I get fed up with all of _that._


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *deny_zoo29* 
I have to mostly agree here! Why is pot NOT a big deal?! Whether or not you personally feel it is right or not, it is ILLEGAL in the U.S.! So your child should not be allowed to do it! Period.
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as lenient?

Thanks for your post!


----------



## mommy2maya (Jun 7, 2003)

I'd feel the same way as if my kid were caught drinking by the cops, since imo, it is very comparable. I would not be happy, and I would definitely putting some restrictions on my child. Like my parents told me- wait til your brain is finished growing before you start killing your braincells.


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## lab (Jun 11, 2003)

I would largely do what Dar said too.

I would have a hard time trusting her. And I would probably follow up on a lot of her activities for a while. She would need to make sure she was where she said she was.

I would make sure she knew I didn't trust her. Not sure about this kid, but my kids would be very upset that I would not be able to trust them.

Yeah - I would be checking up and checking out the friends....


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## mami to 3 :) (Feb 7, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2xy* 
There is a law in Wyoming that prohibits one from photographing a rabbit from January-April. Still on the books, from what I understand.

OMG...
Really???

OOPS!!!








There are tons here and photography is one of my hobbies what the heck are they expecting??? LOL!!!

Going back to the topic, I wouldn't make a fuss if Addie decides she wants to smoke pot I wouldn't give it a fuss. I rather have her smoke pot than doing cocaine on weekends or drinking alcohol (which is worse than mj).
Now why isn't alcohol illegal if its worse??

Yes at 16 is young to start smoking mj, but I rather have my very rebel teenager smoking mj than drinking alcohol and getting wasted.
Call me a bad parent whatever.


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