# Relactate -- Is it worth it? -- Lets See.



## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

--- If it is ok, I would like to keep a running log of this here for a while as I very much need the support. ---

Baby is now 6 months old and has not nursed at all in a month. It has been a battle since his birth. Thrush, very back latch and suck, possible mouth problems (Have not been address with Dr yet) and FTT because of it. He is on formula now and gained so much weight everyone is calling him Tubbers now! I tried so much I can not even explain.

Now though a friend let me borrow a good eclectic pump.

Question. Should I stop my life to try and re-lactate at this point?

Hubby is worried because failing has sent me into a depression and if I fail again trying.....

I found myself in church after we had given up nursing. Baby was hungry and for the first time I ran out and gave him to a baby sitter to feed for me. If I have to admit in public that I had failed my son, I would have broken down. I hate the Bottles. HATE! -tears- So I try to think about it now. I try to get others to feed him those damn things. And yet I am so grateful just to have a healthy baby......

He used to sometimes nurse off a friend. He rejects her now as well just as he rejected me.

One can only take so much.

So here I sit with this pump just wondering..... is it even possible? What if I fail? What if he will not re latch?

I can not get either of us to a Dr for another 2 weeks as is so no medication to help re-lactate and find out about him possibly having mouth problems.

All these walls, and so much fear and pain.

I just do not know.

Blessings,
Kontessa


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## ColeysMama (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kontessa*
So here I sit with this pump just wondering..... is it even possible? What if I fail? What if he will not relatch?

If you fail, you fail. At least you tried. If you don't try, then you will definitely fail, but if you try, you have a good chance of succeeding.

If he won't relatch, you'll keep pumping and giving him your good milk any way you can.

You can do this! And it is completely worth it.


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## AmandaBL (Aug 3, 2004)

Totally worth it. I think from your post that you feel like you should do it. I think it is possible & I can imagine that you would get a great deal of satisfaction from the process & experience. I would call LLL and see if anyone locally has worked with relactating & try to get some one on one support. Go for it! If it doesnt work out, then at least you gave it a try. If you don't try I think you'll always wonder what could have happened.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

ITA w/ the PP's...good luck!!


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Do it. Then you can say you honestly tried everything.

-Angela


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## Shell_Ell (Jun 13, 2005)

It is definately worth it, in my eyes, but make sure that you are really commited. It's going to take ALOT of work, mama! If you aren't in the position to handle alot of stress, you have to weigh out what it's worth to you.

Good luck if you decide to-- kellymom.com has some good resources on relactation, as does Dr Jack Newman.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kontessa*
So here I sit with this pump just wondering..... is it even possible? What if I fail? What if he will not relatch?

Before you get started, I think you need to redefine "failure" and "success."

Will you ever be able to produce enough milk to meet 100% of your baby's nutritional needs? Maybe not.

Will you be able to nourish your baby at your breast? If the baby is drinking formula from an SNS and getting a few drops of breastmilk at the same time, then I'd call it a success!

If your baby never latches on again, but still gets a little bit of pumped breastmilk every day, I'd also call that a success!

If the baby gets formula bottles part of the time and nurses for comfort part of the time, that's also a success!

The way I see it, the only way you can possibly "fail" is by not trying.


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Day two with the pump in the house. Not touched it. I am really just frightened. Has anyone done this here? Going from no supply with a baby that will not nurse to anything seeming like a functioning life?

I do not mean to sound selfish but I homeschool our oldest. We are very active at church, and I seem to have little energy and some depression to battle as well.

Clearly the opinion is that is better to have tried and failed then to never have tried at all. I am not sure I agree when it comes to everything, this even.

I want to be the best mommy for him. I want it so badly. But want is not always enough.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

It does not help that hubby is thinking it best to not try.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

You can do it, and I speak from experience! I began relactating when my son was 3 months old, and as you can see from my siggie, 3 months later I'm producing half of his nutritional needs - and I expect that percentage to keep going up!

You have nothing to lose from trying. As so many have said, success can be had in so many ways - being able to get baby back on the breast, nursing for comfort, or pumping so that your babe can get the many many benefits of your milk.

I weaned my babe after a battle much like yours. He was diagnosed with FTT at the age of 4 weeks when he hadn't gained birth weight and was beginning to lose more weight. We went through terrible thrush and a truly horrible transfer problem. He screamed all the time and never slept. I had PPD and thought I was going to lose it.

So I weaned...but I couldn't make peace with it. He was gaining, life was going back to normal...but I was grieving. I was afraid to try, like you are now. I began relactating because I *needed* to know I'd done everything possible, and I knew I'd never have peace if I didn't.

It is a big decision, and I can't make it for you. But I can offer my unconditional support. Please PM me if you'd like more info about relactation or you just want to talk. *hugs*


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## Usually Curious (Apr 26, 2006)

why do you think ff is making you a 'worst' mommy, as opposed to 'best'? it's okay if you can't bf - you'll have a great babe either way.

would feeding him organic goat's milk make you feel better? it is closest to human milk and makes a great substitute for bm. or using a sns part of the time? that way, you'll have the closeness of bf, nip stimulation, and easy suck for him.

it's great that you want to relactate. as a bf'ing mom that really pleases me, but it's about what YOU need. do what works for your family and if it's important to you, it will work for you.


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## kim5 (Nov 20, 2005)

It is a tough decision...well, on one side, you could try (a lactation specialist could also give ideas as well as references above)...if your supply started again and you had difficulty BF, their are great pumps to rent (Symphony by Medela is awesome)...this is demanding though. Or there is a homemade formula on the Weston Price Foundation website (just google WPF) that a lof of holistic docs recommend if BF is not possible. But overall to me, it sounds like you really have enough on your plate, and you did BF him for 5 months (good for gut flora for health/allergy)...take it easy. Don't be so hard on yourself. I say, if your baby is healthy and happy just count your blessings and do what you can. In the hierarchy of priorities, YOUR mental/emotional health is the top priority so you can be there for your kids. You sound overwhelmed...I would ultimately say it is not worth sending yourself into depression over. There are other ways to nurture your baby that I'm sure you are mastering! I totally understand where you are coming from. I was not able to BF my dd and ended up pumping for a year (just coming to a close as she is almost 1 and I can't go on after that)...I grieved over not being able to BF her. I couldn't have survived without the Symphony pump (not to market, but it is a great pump to rent). Anyway, as time has gone by, I have pumped less and less as her appetite for healthy foods has increased. Sorry to go on and on...try to step outside the situation and focus on all the positive things you have done and are doing to nurture your baby.


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I have opened the bag that holds the pump. A medela DoubleEase. No instructions. I guess I could call the friend who let me borrow it and ask for help.

Now I know my anxiety has been an issue in all this. How to relax. My back hurts so much. Hubby is away, has been for almost two months. But will be home in 8 days! Maybe things will not be so hard then. I will have more time. Hot baths with soft light and music.... maybe.

This pump is yellow. Dusty. I should wash it all first. It holds so much hope. Maybe if I can get commited to this I can rent a hospital one. Maybe.... Funds are tight. Would be less tight without so much baby formula. Is getting better with less pampers thanks to a better cloth stash!

There was a web site with pictures of babys nursing. Does anyone have it? It might help.

-sigh-


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

So I tried to pump. I got a few drops. I used a heat pad on my back. Massaged and tried to manually bring forth milk, then pumped for 10 minutes. I got just a few drops, enough to cover my nipples and let them air dry.

Now where to find advice about doing this without Medication....


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## tinyti26 (Nov 11, 2005)

Being stressed and pumping will not help. Before you pump put warm compresses on your breasts, either bring your dc in the room with you or a picture that stirs up good memories and stare at that, and think about it when you are pumping. I used to ping when I wouldn't get as much and I battled with low supply. It did help. Best of luck, don't stress and as Ruthla said if they get any breastmilk its a sucess!


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## RoadWorkAhead (Sep 8, 2005)

kellymom.com will give you a variety of herbs you can get locally that will stimulate milk supply. You might also look into an SNS tube so that the baby is getting formula while nursing IF he will latch (if he's very hungry, he may go back to latching as long as he can smell food in the area). That way his mouth is stimulating your production


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Last night was a mess. I tried to get baby to latch when he was good and hungry but he just screamed and screamed, the angry cry. I think I will consider the SNS after I see how commited to this I can be.

Sadly I did not pump again last night. I was so sad that my son would not even try to latch that all I could manage was to give a bottle and send us both back to sleep after the upset.

For the moment I am going to spend the next week pumping to get familiar with the pump and how ro build my life around it and baby and also getting herbs and trying to come to terms with all the emotions I have about this.

Blessings,
Kontessa


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I pumped again, painful and only a few drops after 15 minutes. Happy I did it though. Maybe I will get in another pumping time before church in a few hours.

My 6 year old daughter is excited about Mom trying to get her milk back for baby brother. That helps.


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

sending you hugs, mama...









trust your gut and do what feels right for you and your family and this situation.

relactating would be a wonderful gift for your little one, but a mama who is not stressed and who is enjoying her children in the fullest way possible is an even greater gift.

~claudia


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I went to lay Toby down for a nap, he did not seem sleepy but with lots to do tonight I thought it might be a good idea to try. I went about picking up my room and folding cloths while he watched me all giggles. You know what happened next right?

I went to get dressed for the evening and as I took off my top he gets all excited and moving. Hum... so I walk over and just lean over him. I know he loves it when I play with his chin so I tease his chin with my nipple and he tries to suck! No real latch to be had but he was not screaming, he thought it a game! So we played for a while. I layed down with him and let him lean over me. He sucked some, mostly wanting my fingers, all drooly boy. I did some baby push ups, he loves those. And I tried to side nurse him. The second he noticed, game over, he was not happy. Sooo I took it in stride. His sister came in to play with him while I finished getting dressed and they are still playing while I type this.

Maybe tomorrow I will try a topless day with him in the sling!









Blessings,
Kimmy


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Yay for you for trying.
Perhaps trying to nurse him "for fun" when he's not hungry will be helpful in getting your supply up. IIRC, the nipple stimulation has a big effect. So its not just what you produce at that particular moment that matters.

Pumping was hard for me too. I agree with the pp- define "successful" as ANY breastmilk making its way into ds's body.
I imagine you'll start producing more, the more you pump. So don't be dismayed by not pumping much yet.

I'm wishing you all the luck in the world


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

I had to bring my supply back from 1 nursing session/day to almost a full supply. I may have even had a full supply, but since I WOHM and never responded well to the pump I'm not sure.

Load yourself up on Fenugreek/Blessed Thistle. Drink a LOT of water, like over a gallon each day. Each oatmeal every morning. Buy a pumping bra and hook yourself up to the pump ALL day for a few days each week. Pump for 15 minutes, break for 15 minutes, etc. It massively sucks but it provides a lot of stimulation. Most importantly, get an SNS and nurse with that if you can get your baby to latch because the baby will bring your supply back much faster than a machine ever could.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

Yay! I'm glad you've decided to try.

I would not offer to nurse right now when he's really hungry. Chances are it's going to frustrate him and he'll have a meltdown. "Playing" like you did is a good idea.

I also second getting an SNS or Lact-Aid. I use a lact-aid, and am convinced that it alone allowed me to regain a nursing relationship with my son. Once he saw there was food there he was more than willing to latch!

Best of luck, and continue keeping us posted! *hugs*


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I do a lot of that these days -sigh-

A lady at church was talking about drying up her milk tonight. Her son just turned one and got his shots and is feeling yucky and not nursing so she said he weened himself this week and needs the milk to hurry and go away. She said she did not mention it to make me feel badly. I told her if this works I will be breastfeeding my baby for at least two years! LOL And that I was greatful she mentioned the shots so I could keep the babies away from one another.

It was not a bad night, just a little sad. Great reminder for me though about what kind of mommy I am and want to be, and not be. ((((hugs))))

I am looking on e-bay now for a not so costly SNS!

Blessings,
Kimmy

Put little ones to bed and then get to know this pump again! The mommy who lent it to me said she used it only two times and never had use for it, so I can have it! Dusty it may be, but new all the same and now it needs to be my friend. Yay!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I have neetles now I will start to take and going to get Fenugreek tomorrow! Any idea on how much I should take?


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I pumped again tonight for 30 minutes. I got a few more drops then I did last night. I know the key to this is to do it often. I am trying to work this into my life and my life around it. I feel a little bad about going slowly and not just jumping right in but I do have my hands full without my hubby here. Just a week till he gets home!









My nipples hurt. Do I have to go through toughening them up again? They hurt for weeks when I first started nursing baby and then got better when I did not have thrush to deal with.

Another day.


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

fenugreek capsules are around 550-610mg and lactation consultants recommend 2 capsules three times daily, so 6 total. you should see a difference in 2-3 days. since you are getting a little now that is a GREAT sign!! good for you! whether this works or not you can certainly know you are doing your best as mommy! i'm sending you positive thoughts and prayer!

my dd had that reaction to my breasts for a time and i remember how painful that was! keep playing, what a good idea. no stress just starting to make positive associations thats great.

you mentioned a website of nursing moms, it is breastfeeding.com and then click on nursing mom photos. they also have nursing art

i'm so glad your husband will soon be home!!







his support will be invaluable in those times you get discouraged......let him know how much his support would help and hopefully he'll pull through for you!

best of luck and warm thoughts


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

Kimmy: just wondering how your day was today... thinking of you...









~claudia


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I only got to pump once today. Taking the time, finding the energy was hard. Visiting sick friend, diaper making, artical writing last minute for newsletter, girl scouts, and then a birthday party.

I did manage to get some fenugreek though! And I got more drops then before from the right breast and less from the left.

Tomorrow should not be so busy and so I am planning if not all day at home, at least most! More hope for tomorrow.

Thank You!









Blessings,
Kimmy (Kontessa)


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Two cranky kids, a messy house, and a day dreaming mommy do not for a smooth pumping day make.

Still just getting drops. Been on Fenugreek 6 pills a day, for 24 hours now.

Not disliking this pump as much as I thought I would. Almost getting used to the yellow even!









Sadly no Booby play time today and tomorrow is very busy but maybe in the morning I can get him to giggle at silly mommy and suck a little.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

Hopefully today goes better and everyone is calm and happy!!







Well even if that doesn't happen I hope you have a good day! I'm intruiged with this thread and your journey, I have a friend thinking about relactating too. Best of luck!


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## HotMama (Oct 26, 2002)

FWIW - I'm NAK my adopted baby and she's getting only my milk. I did the Newman-Goldfarb protocal before she was born. I wouldn't do the birth control part of the protocal while nursing, so my three year old had to stop nursing (pretty painless, I just stopped suppementing







) I pumped every three-four hours during the day, and once a night for six months...I was pumping over 30 oz a day and donating that to a babe whose mama had cancer and couldn't nurse for that same time period...she's now doing the same as you, trying to relactate.. I strongly suggest skipping the SNS and just getting a bunch of Lact-Aids...that's what long-term supplementers use. I didn't make that much milk for dd#1, but she did get all her milk at my breast using the Lact-Aid. Jimmy at Lact-Aid is very helpful, she talks to lots of relactating moms.

I say go for it...take some time off busyness and just play with it, nurse a lot with a supplementer and enjoy nursing. It really sounds like you could use some real life support...is LLL near you?


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

would be really nice. It looks though like I might not have a choice about slowing down. I spent almost the whole day giving of my time and business for charity. I came home wanting to cry as I looked around at my not so clean house. I did not feel like trying to cook. Pumping was something I so much wanted to do but felt like it could not come first. After all was said and done, I pumped once for 30 minutes and got only a few drops. Relaxing is a big problem for me so I used a heat pad before hand and it did help a lot. Now though it is very late and I am up sick. It looks as if I might have to slow down. I will not deside till morning if we will go to church tomorrow or not. It takes up all morning and most of the afternoon even though church is only an hour long. It is a ways away and lots of social time and helping. It takes a lot of my energy and causes stress and worry. Partly because I can not count on my van right now to run. Very much hope it holds up till hubby gets home.

So I know what your thinking I believe and after righting it all out, it sounds silly to go. UU Community is very dear to me and part of one of my goals, it helps with homeschooling my daughter, another goal. But my home is making me un-happy and so is going this slow with pumping.

Milk is best produced in the AM I have read. I am going to pump before going to bed and then again in the morning and hope that I can make some good choices tomorrow and bring me and my family closer to our goals.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Look on the bright side- you ARE getting some drops when you pump!!!

I suggest you pump, then take the bottles you pumped into and pour formula into them for the next 2 feedings (I'm assuming you've got a few drops in each bottle, one from each breast.) This way your baby will get those few drops and some of the great immunities from your milk.


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I planned to pump before bed. Not expecting to get anything I just surfed around the net looking for other mothers like me. The ones who find themselves the exception to the natural breastfeeding rule. You know the one, the one that says every mother should be able to feed her child. I found myself some how on a very Christian thumper blog. One that I out and out got angre with more then once. Specially the coments about dumo-crates and the like and more negative things about librals and even vegans. Then it all changed. I found the mother in this women, the one a little like me even though it seems like we live in different worlds. I did not find anything about re-lacting, but I did read about some very tragic in her life. When she found out yet another baby was to be born, but not alive. It was heart breaking to read.

When I did look down at the pump. I saw more drops then ever since I started this. It reminded me that love is love and spirit is spirit and on those levels, everyone can some how connect. The blog made me feel many things, one of them being how greatful I am for many things. Even though I was sad, crying even, moments like these make me smile, they give me hope. They remind me too look deeper and to trust.

My little drops of hope, so hard to come by these days. Just need to trust that with hard work, they will come.

Blessings,
Sleepy Kimmy


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Remember that every drop you get is a success!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HotMama*
I strongly suggest skipping the SNS and just getting a bunch of Lact-Aids...that's what long-term supplementers use.

Why not sns?


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I did not go to church today. I did however sleep in and did not pump!







:

I pumped a few times so far today. Did a boobie dance for baby that made him laugh lots but he did not want to try and nurse. Small steps with him. I got a few drops. No more then what seems the common now. Thinking about going from 6 pills a day of fenugreek to 8. I have read it can help.







:

4 more days till hubby comes home!

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

thinking of you, and thank you for sharing your drops of hope thinking.









i used to do 9 capsules of fenugreek a day (3 ea x 3 times a day). just checked the bottle and they are 610mg capsules. i think it would probably be okay. is your sweat and your body odor and even your pee smelling like maple syrup? that is the sign that you are taking enough.

yay on the countdown to your husband's return!

~claudia


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## Usually Curious (Apr 26, 2006)

It sounds like you're doing great! We are all so proud of you!

Try nursing when he is asleep not wide awake and hungry. That really helped me get through several nursing strikes, it might help you & yours.


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## KnitterMama (Mar 31, 2005)

I just dropped-in on this thread this evening, and I wanted to let you know I'm pulling for you! You can do it, Mama ... you're already doing it! I don't have experience with re-lactation, but I did have trouble being stimulated with a pump...I found what helped was visualization. It sounds really silly, but visualizing like rivers of milk flowing, the baby nursing...also, like you already experienced just relaxing and being distracted reading Mama stuff online. Your brain is thinking about Mama stuff, your body is being stimulated, it will help! Go Mama go!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Pumping as I type this one handed.

I was going to bed. Remembering all I am greatful for. I just had to get up and pump even though I am so sleepy and baby will be up soon.

I am going to up my Fenugreek as advised here as I am not smelling oddly sweet yet. LOL

I will so try to nurse Toby after his next feeding, when he falls back to sleep. Maybe I will even get up to pump. I am not sure yet if I am ready for that step. So much to do before hubby gets home still and feeling sick.

My daughter lost her fits tooth today. So exciting! Not something we where ready for though. What shall our tradition be? What tooth fairy story/myth shall we go with? Our daughter is loving it! She has agreed to wait till Daddy comes home so he can see it before the fairy comes to take it.









So much to be greatful so. So much I wish I could change still though.

I keep thinking in my head. Sometimes tears falling inside as I smile on the outside watching friends nurse thier toddlers. Boobs work, Boobs please work.

Tonight I have to say Kimmy work, wake up, stay up, pump!

Thank you mamas for the support. I can not explain what it means to me in times when I come here thinking this just might not be possible. I have to try and keep trying.

Blessings,
Kimmy -- Kontessa


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## HotMama (Oct 26, 2002)

The SNS is gravity feed...babe doesn't have to work much, thus less stimulation for your milk supply. And, it's bulky...and, it's difficult to keep clean...and, it leaked more consistenty for me. Have I convinced you yet? Most adoptive moms choose Lact-Aid for these reasons, and we tend to use the supplementer for long periods.


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HotMama*
The SNS is gravity feed...babe doesn't have to work much, thus less stimulation for your milk supply. And, it's bulky...and, it's difficult to keep clean...and, it leaked more consistenty for me. Have I convinced you yet? Most adoptive moms choose Lact-Aid for these reasons, and we tend to use the supplementer for long periods.


I should be getting a SNS next week. I do see how though it could be an issue. I think though it might be a good step between my little one who will not nurse at all and has fast bottles and the Lact-Aid to only the breast. I could be wrong though. I will be looking for a low cost lact-aid now!

Thank You!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I was feeling better this morning until I saw that I have no more formula in the house! Baby would not nurse, not that I even have a supply for him yet! So out we have to go even though it is 101 out and the van is having problems and it is a 40 minute drive to post and... and... and... Damn it! I did not want to go out.

Back now, all went ok, other then mom is back to not feeling good, belly all a mess. Pumping now. Look, two hands! Pump sitting in front of keys. LOL What ever works!

Thankfully my baby is not sick on formula. He is gaining all most too well even. A lot of people ask why I am doing this is baby is tolerating formula. Because I want him not live by tolorating things, but by thriving the best he can. Thats my job, to help him!

With the fenugreek I have noticed I do sweat more but it is not sweet smelling, wish it was, I would not be so bothered by it and I would know I am taking enough. Still only able to pump a few drops so not really sure if it is helping yet.

Hubby comes home in 3 more days!

Right now I am up to pumping for 30 minutes at a time. I need to make it far more often now. Tops has been 4 times a day.

I wonder, has anyone went a whole day on a pump with just potty breaks and such? Wonder how painful it would be or if it would be damaging. It is after all very different from a baby nursing almost all day. That I have heard of before.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I wouldn't stay on the pump for more than half an hour at a time- it could damage your nipples- unless you only pumped one breast at a time and alternated them (thus giving your nipples a break.) If you want to "spend the day on the pump" I'd suggest frequent, short pumpings- maybe 10 minutes at a time every hour or half hour.

And remember that, even if he just gets those few drops, you're still a sucess!!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

-sigh- I love being mommy.

I have 4 amazing children! I say 4 because right now 2 are very much on my mind. My surrogate daughters. I just got a mothers day box from them. They are going to come visit soon! I pumped for Emma for 6 weeks. It was really very hard as I did not have a baby around to hold and the advice was to think about baby. After saying good bye to her, thinking about her so much was not easy! This time with a pump, I am so lucky to have baby here to help me give him the best.

Crystal seems to help me pump. How odd is that? Maybe it helps me relax.

Please do not get the wrong impression. I would not change anything about having my surro babies. I miss them the way I miss all my family when we are apart. Being a military wife I am kind of used to it by now. Their parents in the letter talked about how much they think about having more kids. Wonder if this is a hint. LOL

I am so excited about hubby coming home Wednesday night! Should I let him take over night feedings while I get up and pump or should I do the feedings and then get up to pump? I know when I get the sns and then lact-aid, that I really need to do the night feedings if baby will let me. Right now though I am just wanting to get the "Relactating bootcamp" started.

Blessings,
Kimmy

I know this, most things worth doing are hard!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I am having a very hard time getting up at night to pump. Even when I am up in the morning I have not managed to pump! I am not a morning person for one thing. You would think it would be easy to relax then but for me, I just see what all needs to be done and it holds me down.

Any ideas on what to do?

I have managed a few more drops then normal today from my right breast and I am thrilled about it! Would it be silly to use a baby dropper to try and messure my little drops after I pump? LOL

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## HotMama (Oct 26, 2002)

Just make that pump your friend...I read a novel when I pumped. Be sure to have some pictures of breastfeeding babes to gaze at while pumping. It really helps. Trust me, there's no need to be awake to pump...stumble in, pump, stumble back to bed


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

It sounds like you are making progress on the pumping! Good job! I feel for you, i hate to pump and it would be very difficult for me to do it all day long but it sounds like you are really working on it and it will pay off! What a challenge you are on and like you said, everything worth working for is worth having (or something like that







)

Any sweet bo yet? I had forgotten about that i'm glad someone mentioned it. It is very odd when your dh has a constant craving for pancakes because you smell like syrup!









AND CONGRATULATIONS AND HAPPIEST THOUGHTS ON THE RETURN OF YOUR HUSBAND!!! We don't expect any posts tonight!


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

I think it is really amazing that you have been a surrogate mother. I have thought about that but am unsure how i would handle it emotionally. That is an unbelieveable gift to give! Did you know the couple before hand? Do you stay in touch? Sorry, i guess i got really off topic for the thread!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

My life is Ironic....

Our little UU Church is broke. Some how though we managed to raise enough money to keep our ministers full time and not cut them down to half time. Still, they are leaving us! Ironic. I might be singing that with another mama at their last sunday service.

Hubby gets home. The military life can be so hard. Get home to learn the LES (pay stubs) are online. We are only getting $250 next pay day!














They messed up our pay again. It takes forever to fix, if they ever do even. We are sunk.... So stressed now. It was supposed to be a wonderful night, now are both just so full of stress. Ironic.

Aside from finances things should be better right? Only it is not! Co-sleeping was horrible last night. I swear baby kept looking at daddy and screaming! Hubby only got two hours of sleep before work! Mommy got less sleep even then before.... Ironic.

I do not smell funny. Pumping and getting less then yesterday. Can not relax. Need a way to ground all this.....


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

It's going to take some time adjusting to a new routine with Daddy home. Go easy on yourself.


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

And I am arguing with a friend.

She does not think I should complain. That I have reason to. That if I do, I must think she can fix it so she gives me all this advice, stuff I already know, things that are impossible. She calls it sympathy. I wanted a little empathy. I am always here when she needs to complain. maybe she expects me to fix things when she complains? I told her I did not expect advice or anything, just someone to listen and say up, that sucks....

-sigh- hard to communicate well feeling this drained.


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I think I will try and work on his diaper cover now.


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## JunipersMom (May 25, 2006)

If you can get lactating again - that would be wonderful!! In my humble opinion - its the milk that is the very most beneficial to our babies. If your babe wont nurse, breastmilk in a bottle might be a wonderful compromise that will heal you both..


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

that sucks. life can be really hard sometimes. if it makes you feel any better, things tend to come in 3s so things may be getting better soon!! it sounds like you are due for a break in the luck. Hopefully things will be easier with hubby home.......i'm feeling for you and thinking about you....hope it helps a little.....














maybe this will help


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Trying to keep busy while I pump.

I found this service where 3 minutes before your e-bay auction is up they call you and let you bid. I though it was a good idea to join, free, as I get a lot of second hand items and it looks to me that if I do not, others will be using it and I will miss out big time!

Not to mention the give you $20 free

And I get $5 for everyone who signs up, they get $20, when they use it. Even if they do now win. I could really use for those $5 to add up about now.

If your interested, message me and I will send you an invite!

Almost done with my diaper cover. It feels good! It will be perfect for nights I just know it as it is super thick and really well made. LOL

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I have not pumped in hours. I have not eaten. I have not taken the Fenugreek AND....

HUBBY BROKE THE VAN!

It has been running very badly. He opened the hood to find the battery leaked. Went to clean the connections and one broke right off. Connector and it's wires needs to be replaced and the battery. OMG.

Did someone mention that things should be getting better by now? LOL

I want to cry but it is just not in me. Just keep moving, don't feel, just keep cleaning....

Will pump soon as I am making dinner now.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

Good luck Kimmy!!!

Have you tried just slipping a nipple in Toby's mouth in the middle of the night, when he is sound asleep? You know how most babies suck in their sleep, even if there is nothing in their mouth? If you leave your nipple in his mouth, he will probably suck it eventually. Then just leave him latched for as long as he will suck. Nothing will build your supply faster, and you can do it while you both sleep. If he rejects it one night, keep trying!!!!!!!


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)




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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I am feeling lost. Have not been taking the fenugreek and pumping the way I had hoped.

With hubby being home, so many finance issues, the van breaking, community events I am giving my time to, homeschooling.

And I honestly feel a little odd pumping around hubby. How odd is that?

I know I have been busy. I know much of it was needed. But still I am sad I am not doing better.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I wish I could go over to your house and entertain your little one while you pump. Or maybe keep "baby #5" (aka your DH) busy so you feel free to pump!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

With all going on I put pumping out of mind. 2 steps back!

Today however I feel like the great mother is trying to tell me something. Everyone in the house but me is sick with a tummy bug! Baby keeps throwing up his formula, seems happy about it too!

So here I sit pumping in hopes of getting this going again! Even a few drops might help some!

I need to get back to taking fenugreek. I swear though it caused the worst heart burn!

Some said drink beer. Does smirnof ice work? I am not a drinker but the watermelon one I can get down! lol I think the bottle says molt beer....

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## kissum (Apr 15, 2006)

I think it's the yeast in beer. So I don't think smirnoff counts, sorry mama! I agree with try to nurse him in his sleep. My Bella nurses in her sleep a lot. Good luck, you are doing an amazing thing!


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

I have actually read that drinking beer is not good for supply and it is actually an old wive's tale. I guess it just makes your breasts feel fuller but there is not more milk. I have also heard friends say that after drinking beer their babies nursed all night because they were not getting satisfied. May or maynot be true, just thought I'd offer another perspective. I think Fenugreek is your best bet, that is interesting about the heartburn, I hadn't heard that before. Did you get to where you smelled sweet? That is so weird!









I really respect your work Kimmy, it would truely be a difficult thing to try and get done. Especially with 2 kids!! Keep working and you'll get there, you are right that every drop helps but remember that you are a good mommy whether you relactate or not.


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

dark beers can help with milk ejection/letdown, but are generally not good for supply.

~claudia


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

:

Everyone in the family but me is sick!

I have not taken Fenugreek in days and never did get to smelling sweet. I wanted to give it a few more hours before starting it again in case it does effect my tummy as I expect it has been with the heartburn. I have not looked it up as a side effect yet but will try tonight when pumping!

I am pumping and pumped a few dropps today to add to his bottles. I am waiting on a SNS and then will get a lactaid when I can aford it! I think they will both be very helpful as of now my son is not willing to nurse. Not at night, not at any time right now.

So no smirnoff, no biggy. Not like I really enjoy it anyway. I was drinking wine a few nights a week after baby was born but with the thrush I was fast to give it up because of the sugers.

After a week of pumped very few times I still have drops, more then when I first started. I have hope!

Sick family and I am not sick! It is amazing! It helps me with this.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

:







:


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I feel like I need to be commited! No, not to that place! LOL To pumping. I can not yet get Toby to nurse and so it is all on me.

I need to get up at night! I need to plan on ever two hours being on this pump for at least the next 2 weeks. I need to take the pills, drink more, worry less, and find faith in my own body.

I am still thinking, is it even possible?

I wish I had some to help me stay accountable.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

Kimmy: how did you do today about pumping to your self-professed goals?

just trying to help you be accountable to yourself...









~claudia


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

: Can life have a pause botton please?

No, not going so well, missed one 2 hour mark already and really worried about tonight!

Along with this change, I am trying to work out everyday. Lightly as I know it can effect supply and not having a supply now it would only make things harder I am thinking. Still though, I am gaining weight and I am already over weight. Stress! Stress! Stress!

I have set an alarm and hopefully when next it goes off I will be able to put life down to work on this!

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

when your alarm goes off, just stop and think of why you wanted to start your relactation journey in the first place, what makes it worth it to you.

then get yourself a big glass of water and drink it and sit down with your pump. to quote flylady (if you haven't heard of her, i will explain later): you can do anything for 15 minutes.

thinking of you tonight...

~claudia


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

Oh..Kontessa..Ive been following your story mama!
Just want to send you some encouraging vibes!!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

here I am







:

Not getting more then a drop or two. Not looking forward to getting up every two hours tonight. Church in the morning.







Though really, should we go? Baby is still giving back all the formula we give him and though the hubby and DD are feeling some better, is it worth maybe passing it around? Still though, I have something I am supposed to be helping with tomorrow and a last minute call seems rude.... -sigh- Alas, I know that at least I should go and do my part and hurry home right after to pump and I swear that tomorrow I shall take some quiet time to do more reading!

Night Night for now! Thank you mamas for the hugs and pep talks. Some blue moods getting the better of me as of late!

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kontessa*
Though really, should we go? Baby is still giving back all the formula we give him and though the hubby and DD are feeling some better, is it worth maybe passing it around? Still though, I have something I am supposed to be helping with tomorrow and a last minute call seems rude....Blessings,
Kimmy

No I dont think you should worry about it..Take the time to relax and work on your supply..Its not rude..People get sick and they should understand..


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

:yawning:














:







:


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kontessa*
:yawning:














:







:











try again in 2 hours.

one baby step at a time... (no pun intended)

~claudia


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Has always been an issue and I am going to start trying this: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...cotterman.html

To see if it helps at all.


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## 2crazykids (Jun 19, 2005)

Ok...

I read almost all the posts and I feel I have something productive to add"

1. You are doing too much for too many people! I admire your commitment to service, church, household, hubby, working out, etc. but it's too much! You need to cut-back on things and make choices about what's most important right now. Your body isn't dumb...it won't make milk if it doesn't have enough energy for itself!

2. How about trying Reglan, I got my ob to write a scrpit and my insurance paid for it. Helped a bit but made me kind of crazy...







: .

3. Try wise woman lactation blend by Vitanica along with fenugreek along with lots and lots of mother's milk tea.

4. you are getting heartburn b/c you don't eat enough food with the fenugreek. Fenugreek makes you hungry and causes you to create more stomach acid, thus heartburn. Try eating something every time you take the supplements. Increase you caloric intake and you'll make more milk.

5. Pump every 2 hours for ten minutes each side.

6. I have no idea about getting babe back on breast...I only pumped enough to put into bottles...babe could never latch on again....









I hope I didn't sound too harsh but you just seem to be pulled in way too many directions!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

Things are not going To get all that much better.... I am going to be a worship associate at church. Only one Sunday every other month but still, I have a lot to learn about public speaking and such. Then I am in charge of parents night out. Just twice a month but still it takes lots of prep work. I have one other social function I am in charge of but am thinking I need to give that up for now, at least there are others I know of who could take over.








:

Harsh is fine. It is honest. But I honestly feel I need to do these things and can with practice and time management and help!

As for more calorie intake, not kidding! I have been eating way too much I feel! I need to find better foods to eat. I had not made the fenugreek connection and I was feeling crazed eating so much!

I hear what you are saying but a lot of this goes hand in hand and I do need to social responsibilities as it is prep for hubby going back to Iraq.


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## 2crazykids (Jun 19, 2005)

I am not saying you can't do everything, but you have to realize the limitations of what you are asking your body and baby to do! Something has to give.

Is there anyway you can take some time off from some responsibilties to focus on just accomplishing this one thing, then move on to something else?

We are all supermoms in our own way. I think you are asking too much of your body.

Producing milk is also a very hormonal and psychological task. You need to have lots of skin to skin and be in a state of mind that is conducive to creating milk. You need lots of oxytocin which is a hormone created by baby bonding and you need to be realllly relaxed to get it all to flow...

You are really doing a great job with everything I read. I fear that you may be real sad and depressed if this doesn't go as you expect. I know how that feels...I know all too well!


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## Kontessa (Nov 5, 2005)

I might be MIA for a while.

DH is military. The sent him away for training. Made him stay in a hotel. Gave him a pay advance to cover the costs, then this month tool all of it back leaving us with not enough to even cover food. They where supposed to give him travel pay... a week ago. We have not been able to figure out how to get this fixed, everyone he talks to says it is someone elses issue.

In short, the internet was the first to get shut off. I am worried. Good way to slow down though, can not afford gas!

Please wish us good luck in all this.

Blessings,
Kimmy


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## TurboClaudia (Nov 18, 2003)

oh kimmy... not another thing...

will be thinking of you and sending you lots of milky vibes and mama love...

update us when you can.









~claudia


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