# Do you leave your kids in the car?



## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Yesterday, I had to run a very quick errand. I just had to run into an office to sign some paperwork. The office is in a strip mall with all open windows facing out and I was able to park directly in front of it. The weather was beautiful so I really didn't want to drag my three carseat kids out of the car. I could see into my vehicle from the office and felt relatively comfortable doing that, since it was only a few minute jog inside. But I'm paranoid about doing that, I know I'd be pretty concerned to see some kids sitting a car by themselves, even if the car was running. I'd probably wait and watch for five/ten minutes and see if the parent came back before seriously considering calling the cops. Of course, there are tons of factors pertaining to this- weather, if the car is running, what kind of parking lot and establishment, age of children etc. But I would hate for someone to freak out and call the cops on me for a few minutes convenience. It got me wondering what other parents thought and do.

(BTW-the office was closed due to air quality (whatever that mean....) and I ended up going through a drive through kiosk they had set up rendering my conundrum moot.)

ETA:I only will consider leaving my kids in the car in a situation where I can see the car at all times, like at the gas station if I have to go inside or like the above where I could see my car through the window. Otherwise, its really not a option. I do leave the car running if its cold or hot enough to warrant temp control.


----------



## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

I don't do it. That's just my thing. It depends where you're at too though. To run an errand I'll just take them. I freak out too much about leaving them alone. DH does it when he goes to the gas station. I just can't. They're not in car seats anymore though just boosters so it's not an issue getting them in and out of the car.


----------



## Mom31 (Jun 11, 2011)

I do sometimes- but my kids are 6 and 8. And only at the gas station- tho they usually get out and come in so I try to do my stop at gas station when they are not with me... but yes- I have. I probably would not in the scenario you described- but who knows- alot now my 8 yo does nt want to go in places... he is a pain... oh I leave them in car if I have to go pick up another one at school too.

They generally get out tho- and that is where it gets unsafe.


----------



## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Almost never. DH would freak out if I would leave DS in the car for any reason. We each has our irrational fears and DS being snatched from the car is one of DH's.


----------



## 4midablemama (Jul 29, 2010)

Depends. I pick things up for my mom at her doctor's office a lot, and it's never more than a run in, run out thing. If I can get the space right in front of the door, where I can keep my eye on the car at all times, then I will leave the kids in. I NEVER leave the car running or the keys in it, my daughter can get in and out of her booster and my biggest fear is her knocking the car out of gear and crashing it into the front of the doc's office. Otherwise, the kids go with me, I just don't feel comfortable leaving them.


----------



## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Only at select places around town. It has to be a place where I am comfortable with the parking lot, people that go in and out, etc... I am in a small town in a very rural area if that makes a difference. Half the cars are usually unlocked in any given place. I have 4 kids 9 and under. I will leave the toddler strapped in at the girl's school and the gymnastics center if I am just running in and dropping/picking up a kid. Those two parking lots are such that the risk of him getting hit by a car is greater then getting taken out of the car. They are parking nightmares! Tiny, old lots with a high volume of traffic, ice, and not enough places to park. Any place else and I take all the kids in with me.


----------



## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

My reply got eaten, but basically no, never if I am going inside. It is illegal is several states and is considered physical neglect by cps, so not worth the risk for us.

As for other parents, unless it is a very small child or the situation looked bad, I would not be inclined to call the cops. I figure most parents know there own kids well enough to make those decisions. I did wait one night in a parking lot to make sure a mom had returned because it was dark and she had left the car running. She was back within 10 minutes or so.


----------



## CraftyDoulaMom (Apr 20, 2010)

My kids are just shy of 4 and 6yrs old and I do leave them in the car for a few minutes at a time when I run in to the post office or the library to return a book. I only do this though if I can park in a spot where I can see the car from inside and only if it is not very cold/hot so that I can take the keys with me as I don't want them to have access to the ability to turn the car on/off, roll up/down windows, etc. We live in a town with fewer than 2000 people where many people don't even lock their doors during the day. If I still lived in Portland I wouldn't do this as I wouldn't feel as confident of the safety of it.


----------



## yellow73 (Oct 17, 2011)

I wouldn't do it.

I used to, but someone I know got arrested for leaving her sleeping son in the car, and it was such a traumatic experience for all of them.

I also used to be a Child Protective Services social worker, and while it really depends on the situation, there is definite potential for legal action to be taken. While I personally don't think it's horrible to leave for 2 min while you run in the post office while you can see the car, it's still a risk. The police or the person who calls them doesn't know how long you've been gone. And also, the extremely rare chance that someone would try to steal your car, whether they notice the kid in the backseat or not, is pretty scary.


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

No, never.

I lost a friend over this topic because more than once I got to the local fabric store/craft store or grocery store in my neighborhood and found my friends toddlers tethered in their carseats alone in the car. The first time or two, I said to her I don't think this is good idea. The fourth time I saw this I said something to her husband. She called me later, gets all b****y and tells me to get off my high horse and mind my own business. She says she's only gone "ten minutes" but once I stood at her locked car for half an hour waving at her cute toddlers while she was filling up her cart.

Maybe some folks shouldn't have children.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *4midablemama*
> 
> Depends. I pick things up for my mom at her doctor's office a lot, and it's never more than a run in, run out thing. If I can get the space right in front of the door, where I can keep my eye on the car at all times, then I will leave the kids in. *I NEVER leave the car running or the keys in it, my daughter can get in and out of her booster and my biggest fear is her knocking the car out of gear and crashing it into the front of the doc's office.* Otherwise, the kids go with me, I just don't feel comfortable leaving them.


Umm..yeah! I don't own a car, but my ex does, and I was talking to him about this once, and he said that he would never leave DS in the car for this reason. His younger brother climbed out of his seat once and accidentally took the car out of park. Thankfully the car was in the driveway and couldn't really go anywhere (the driveway is hard to explain, they may have rolled into the street but its not busy), and got SUPER lucky and no one was hurt. Scared the life out of my ex's mom though, and she never left the car running ever again.

OP - I would say to only leave the kids in the car if the temp doesn't need to be controlled, because of the above situation. Your kids may be too young (although my ex's brother was only 2 or 3 when he did it), but once they are old enough to climb out of their carseats I wouldn't leave the car running at all. I might leave the radio on if I could take the keys out, but that would be it.


----------



## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

It really depends on the location. At the gas station most places I can pay at the pump. If it's a station I'm familiar with, and I have to go inside, and I can see the car then I'll leave him. But if it's a strange place (so I don't know the layout and am not sure if I'll be able to see him), then I'll take him out.

If I'm stopping at a taco truck, and can park right next to the truck, I'll leave him in the car (with a window down so I can hear him), since I'm never more than ~20 feet away.

If he's sound asleep and I'm in my (or a friend's) driveway, or in front of my house, I'll run inside long enough to pee or grab a book, but then either sit in the car (if it's cold) or on the porch until he wakes up. If the car's in the garage, I turn on the monitor and go upstairs.

I'll leave him in the car if I'm just running to the drop box to drop a library book (double parked), or running to the mailbox to drop a letter. But for the most part if I'm going inside someplace I take him with me. I do usually leave him in the car while I go pay the meter though - around here our meters are usually 1 per block, so it's rarely next to the car, and you have to pay and then put the ticket on your dash, so dragging him along for that is a PITA.


----------



## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

I've done it are when dropping ds1 at school. I don't have to actually go inside with him, though I do go through a gate to sign him in. I can usually see the car the whole time (there're only 10 possible parking spots all within steps), plus ds's school is very small and everyone knows everyone else and we are all dropping/picking up at the same time, so I don't fear that someone I don't know is going to be bold enough to go into my car.

The only other time I do it is at home. We don't actually have a driveway, so the car is sitting in the alley steps from our front door. I carry the groceries in or clean out the car this way. I have to park the car after bringing in the groceries or whatever, so it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to take ds2 out and put him back in, especially since Im busy in and out of the house (though I normally just throw the grocery bags inside the front door, not really inside), either he'd be alone inside the house or in the car and in the car he's tied up and can't get into trouble. I don't even know if this counts as "leaving him in the car," for, say, cps purposes. I mean, he's not really unattended. I would be able to hear him and I can see him.

At the gas station, I kinda feel like it's safer or equally as safe, at least, to leave them in the car as long as I can get a pump in direct sight of the register. Places like parking lots and gas stations where there're cars moving in all directions sometimes unpredictably, gah. I feel like they're safer in their car seats. Of course, it's only a very rare occasion when I have to pay at the register anyway, like if the card reader thing is broken, but I'd usually rather move to a different pump or even gas station.

I would never consider leaving him the car with keys in it, though, not even for a moment. When I get him in the car seat, I even make sure I have the keys in my pocket or hand, never drop them in the front seat or in my purse where someone could push me out of the way and then get access to them. Carjackings are not uncommon where we live and there have been cases of people having their cars jacked with kids inside.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *philomom*
> 
> No, never.
> I lost a friend over this topic because more than once I got to the local fabric store/craft store or grocery store in my neighborhood and found my friends toddlers tethered in their carseats alone in the car. The first time or two, I said to her I don't think this is good idea. The fourth time I saw this I said something to her husband. She called me later, gets all b****y and tells me to get off my high horse and mind my own business. She says she's only gone "ten minutes" but once I stood at her locked car for half an hour waving at her cute toddlers while she was filling up her cart.
> Maybe some folks shouldn't have children.


Wow! That's really crazy. I cannot imagine how tense I'd feel knowing my kids were in the car unattended like that. How could you enjoy your fabric shopping? Did she just think *nothing* could happen? Even if you're not worried the kids could get hurt or taken or something, I would really worry about someone calling the cops or cps. And like others, I don't think I'd call real quick. I suppose I'd probably wait around a while. But if it was even the slightest bit warm outside and the child was sleeping, so I couldn't tell they were totally fine, I think I'd be on the phone immediately. Was she generally a moron or just had this weird blind spot?


----------



## tooraloora (Oct 15, 2010)

I don't. I may consider it for brief trips when my kids are considerably older (they are 18 months and 7 years right now), but for the next few years, no. First, I see it as an unnecessary risk, second, I have some really unpleasant childhood memories from being left in a car for hours on end and the thought of putting my children in similar situations (even for short periods of time) makes me ill.


----------



## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

I was just thinking that. My mom used to leave me in the car while she worked out at the gym. Really sucked. What do you do in a parking lot for an hour. I think I was about 8. It annoyed me more later on when she complained about her mom leaving her in the car to go into a bar a few times. Right atleast that was a small town and there was a park across the street. Meh.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *tooraloora*
> 
> I don't. I may consider it for brief trips when my kids are considerably older (they are 18 months and 7 years right now), but for the next few years, no. First, I see it as an unnecessary risk, second, I have some really unpleasant childhood memories from being left in a car for hours on end and the thought of putting my children in similar situations (even for short periods of time) makes me ill.


----------



## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

PLEASE never, never, never leave your kids in the car while it is running!! Take the keys with you. People who are desperate enough to steal your car may not care that there are kids inside, and then there are the people who are willing to steal your car BECAUSE there are kids inside. Please always take the keys with you.


----------



## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

My kids are 4 and 7.

I would never leave them in the car if it was running. If it was too hot or cold outside I would take them with me - no question.

Otherwise I would leave them for a v. quick minute in circumstances like the OP describes (car fully visible to me at all times), and with all doors locked.

I would not leave them in the car if they expressed any discomfort in being left.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Only if I'll only be away for really just a minute or two, and only iwth the car locked and off, and only if the weather isn't too hot or cold, and only if my 9-year-old is there because she knows how to get the 3-year-old out of her car seat and out of the car, should something happen.

But yeah, if I have to run into a small shop where I can park right next to the shop and get in and out very very quickly, at this point I will.


----------



## emilysometimes (Apr 18, 2008)

I wouldn't do it. Even if it's "not too hot" outside, the temperature inside the car can skyrocket very quickly. Several children DIE here in Texas every summer because of this very thing. (I read once the actual physiological changes that cause death from being locked in a hot car. Heartbreaking to think of a baby going through that. Don't leave your dog in there, either.)


----------



## liberal_chick (May 22, 2005)

I do it frequently, but only when I can see the car at all times. Paying for gas, running in somewhere quickly to pay a bill, etc. Our town is small and made up of a primarily people 55 and over, so I don't worry. In fact, I leave my purse (keys, money and all) in my car at night all the time. No issues. The sheriff writes articles with the newspaper on a fairly routine basis asking people to lock their doors. LOL


----------



## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *emilysometimes*
> 
> I wouldn't do it. Even if it's "not too hot" outside, the temperature inside the car can skyrocket very quickly. Several children DIE here in Texas every summer because of this very thing. (I read once the actual physiological changes that cause death from being locked in a hot car. Heartbreaking to think of a baby going through that. Don't leave your dog in there, either.)


The hot car thing completely terrifies me. I hate having my kids in a hot car even for a moment -- like if I put the baby in the passenger's side and then have to walk around to the driver's side to get in myself, it gives me the weebie jeebies. What if I had a heart attack on the way there, or I was mugged and injured? I know that's totally paranoid, but I do think it and hate having it even pass through my mind. And my car windows are tinted dark (which I hate!) so if somehow my little one were in the car and something had happened to me I don't think anyone would be able to see him. BUT this is not an issue in *all* weather. You only hear about that happening in Texas in the summer because it really does only happen when it's summer-y weather (and yes, that can happen any time of the year in certain locations -- it was in the 80s here last week). I understand that it can happen at lower temps than one might think, but it would not happen if it was say 55 degrees out and you were parked in the shade.

I was so relieved when my older ds *finally* reached the age where he could get out of his buckles on his own. Little guy is almost 3 but that main buckle is so hard to undo! But we are close I think.


----------



## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *philomom*
> 
> No, never.
> I lost a friend over this topic because more than once I got to the local fabric store/craft store or grocery store in my neighborhood and found my friends toddlers tethered in their carseats alone in the car. The first time or two, I said to her I don't think this is good idea. The fourth time I saw this I said something to her husband. She called me later, gets all b****y and tells me to get off my high horse and mind my own business. She says she's only gone "ten minutes" but once I stood at her locked car for half an hour waving at her cute toddlers while she was filling up her cart.
> Maybe some folks shouldn't have children.


Good grief, really?! I agree, maybe some shouldn't....

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Super~Single~Mama*
> 
> Umm..yeah! I don't own a car, but my ex does, and I was talking to him about this once, and he said that he would never leave DS in the car for this reason. His younger brother climbed out of his seat once and accidentally took the car out of park. Thankfully the car was in the driveway and couldn't really go anywhere (the driveway is hard to explain, they may have rolled into the street but its not busy), and got SUPER lucky and no one was hurt. Scared the life out of my ex's mom though, and she never left the car running ever again.


Wow, that's pretty scary! I will have to keep that in mind as the littles get bigger. Even to run back into the house to grab a forgotten purse could cause this. Eeek!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> I was just thinking that. My mom used to leave me in the car while she worked out at the gym. Really sucked. What do you do in a parking lot for an hour. I think I was about 8. It annoyed me more later on when she complained about her mom leaving her in the car to go into a bar a few times. Right atleast that was a small town and there was a park across the street. Meh.


Yeah, that's not cool. Its boring, its hot and its really really not necessary.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pianojazzgirl*
> 
> I would not leave them in the car if they expressed any discomfort in being left.


This is a good point. I'd never force my kiddo(s) to stay somewhere s/he felt uncomfortable and scared.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *emilysometimes*
> 
> I wouldn't do it. Even if it's "not too hot" outside, the temperature inside the car can skyrocket very quickly. Several children DIE here in Texas every summer because of this very thing. (I read once the actual physiological changes that cause death from being locked in a hot car. Heartbreaking to think of a baby going through that. Don't leave your dog in there, either.)


Yup, I don't even leave the car in the driveway when it gets hot to run inside to grab my forgotten purse without turning the ac on full blast. Course I will have to pay better attention to grabbing my purse as they get older, I think! (above comment) Anyway, that scares the heck outta me!


----------



## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

Nope, I don't. Why take the risk for something that isn't necessary. I pay for my gas at the pump and have absolutely no reason to leave them in the car alone (except in my locked garage with the engine off and the baby monitor on if they're napping. I also have a remote starter, so I can theoretically leave the car on with the AC or heat on and lock the doors if I have to run in the house real quick for a lost purse but I have a garage so I don't need to do that. ) Is it a pain to take 3 kids in? You bet. Especially since you also can't leave coats on in the carseat so even if I have to run into someplace for 5 minutes, I have to get all three kids out of the car and into their coats, and then take off their coats and get them all back in. But being inconvenienced is far better than losing my children. And I guess it might be an over-reaction, except TWICE this year, a car was stolen with a baby/child in it in the small town in our county. This town is tiny. Yet, it still happened. Children aren't always convenient...I made the decision to have children, so I made the decision to be slightly inconvenienced for a few minutes to bring them all in with me.


----------



## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I never have. I hated being left alone in the car when I was a kid and it really isn't safe most of the year. We have a few deaths a year because people take more than the few minutes they plan on and the temperature rises or falls more quickly than they think it will in the car. I wouldn't wait to call police if I saw children alone in a car because there is no way of knowing how long they have been there and the police may take a while to get there.


----------



## Learning_Mum (Jan 5, 2007)

I do it every day. Kids are 6yo and 3yo. I have to go to the pharmacy every day to collect my medication and it's literally walk in and walk out, I also leave them in the car outside the dairy if I have to run in and get something. I'm the same as everyone else, I only leave them if I'm only going to be a couple of minutes and I can see the car while I'm in the shop. I take the keys out and set the alarm. I don't really worry about temperature here because it doesn't get super hot or super cold. If it is hot I'll leave all the windows down. I think the only reason anyone would be interested in my car is if I left my bag in there and I make sure I always take that with me to be on the safe side. Plus the car is an automatic so you can't knock it out of gear and if for some strange reason they took the break off (which I am 99% certain they would never do) it wouldn't roll anywhere.


----------



## MrsBone (Apr 20, 2004)

the only time I leave the kids in the car is if I'm parked in my driveway and want to unload the car, or run inside to go to the bathroom, get something, etc. That's it. I've considered leaving them in the car stopping at the pharmacy, gas station, etc, but I always talk myself out of it. My gut says no!


----------



## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Yes if:

-I can see the car the whole time, or it's in my own driveway

-I will be gone less than 5 minutes

-It is cold out (or, say, under 60F if the car is in the driveway)

Never with the car running. Never when I visit my family in the southern half of the US.

I am not wrangling three kids out of their car seats only to be faced with the decision to either run the kids through sub-zero weather with no coats to get inside or take an extra 10+ minutes to get them bundled up before exiting the vehicle (which I'm not sure is possible, actually).


----------



## WindyCityMom (Aug 17, 2009)

No, no way in heck.

A few weeks ago I peered in a parked car and saw an infant in a FFing bucket there. Alone. Windows rolled up. Called the cops.. I couldn't see if she was breathing. Scariest moment in awhile.


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I just did last week. Dd and I were on the way home from somewhere and I needed to stop and buy milk and bananas. She didn't want to come in, but wanted to stay in the car and read her book. It was a cloudy, rainy 45 degree day. She's 7 and fairly responsible. I locked the doors and left her there for the 10 minutes I was in the store. I don't think it's unsafe. The doors were locked so people couldn't get in. The car was not running. Dd stayed in the locked car the whole time. 10 minutes is about my max, and I'd never do it in the summer.

The last 6 months or so is when I felt comfortable leaving dd alone in a car for a few minutes while I dash in. I'd never do it with a toddler or preschooler. when I was 5, I knocked the car out of gear and it rolled down the hill. But then, that was back in the dark ages before car seats, or even seat belts.


----------



## treegardner (May 28, 2009)

Here in CA it is illegal to leave a child 6 or younger unattended in the car, so I've never done it. I don't know at what age and under what circumstances I would feel comfortable leaving my child in the car. Too many bad things can happen for me to feel comfortable doing it.


----------



## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cristeen*
> 
> It really depends on the location. At the gas station most places I can pay at the pump. If it's a station I'm familiar with, and I have to go inside, and I can see the car then I'll leave him. But if it's a strange place (so I don't know the layout and am not sure if I'll be able to see him), then I'll take him out.
> 
> ...


Pretty much this. Common sense is key.


----------



## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

No, I wouldn't leave my kid in the car if I'm actually going into a building.

If I am going to stay outside the building (outdoor book drop at the library, for example) -- I'm OK with it, it's only 20 seconds and I take my keys with me. There may be a very small risk but really no more than when I buckle DS in and then load my cart of groceries into the trunk.

I don't leave him in the car in our driveway, though lots of my friends routinely do that. If DS falls asleep in the car, I either wake him up & take him in, or stay out in the car with him & read if I have the luxury of time. Occasionally I will run inside to grab something I forgot, but only if it will be super quick in & out, and I take the keys with me.

I wish they had curbside babysitting at some places though!! Except I can't imagine myself actually utilizing it if that existed. But it would be so convenient to run a quick errand and leave kiddo sleeping in the car or entertained by someone who will keep him safe.

My biggest reason against doing this is child abandonment laws, I simply don't want to take the risk that someone will report me & blow things out of proportion. But I do also worry about the car temperature, or car theft (not so much intentional kidnapping, though that _is_ in the back of my mind too), or especially that DS will freak out when he realizes he's alone, because he totally will!! Also, my siblings & I were left in the car while my mom ran into a building, she much have left the car running to keep it warm or something like that, or maybe it was off & just started rolling, IDK, and the car started rolling out toward the busy multi-lane road behind us. She could see us the whole time but couldn't get out of the building fast enough and how would she stop a car herself? (Fortunately some men coming out of a nearby store were able to stop us before we reached the highway). So I don't have the best associations with being left in the car.


----------



## sewchris2642 (Feb 28, 2009)

I voted when they are responsible. I don't leave kids in the car until they are out of carseats or are with a responsible older child who is not in a carseat. But never in a situation where they couldn't get out of the car or roll down the windows.


----------



## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rubidoux*
> 
> I was so relieved when my older ds *finally* reached the age where he could get out of his buckles on his own.


Me, too!

I started leaving ds in the car, with NO keys, IF he didn't have to cross any kind of parking lot to come find me (I could park up against the sidewalk), ONLY when he was extremely reluctant to come with me and I was only going to be a few minutes (post office) when he was 5. That was a situation where the people at the post office would have known who he belonged to and where he lived if something terrible did happen to me while he was in the car, plus he would have been able to walk home to Grandma in a true emergency (no busy streets to cross, even).

Now he is 10 and I'm comfortable leaving him in the car to pick up a few groceries but I'd still rather he not have to cross a parking lot so I only do that at small stores where I can park close, just in case he decides to come find me (which hasn't happened yet).


----------



## csekywithlove (Feb 25, 2010)

Never. The only time I am not in the car with DSS is when I am standing beside the car pumping gas.

I just recently had a friend whose husband left her son (his step son) in the car at Walmart at night to run in for some cat food. It was around eleven at night and thirty degrees outside. Her son was asleep and fine, but someone saw and called the cops. Her husband was arrested on site and taken to jail. Now they have an open DCFS case.

So yeah... It's just not something I would ever consider.


----------



## NellieKatz (Jun 19, 2009)

I can see about 3 things wrong with what the guy did:

--11 at night

--thirty degrees

--WalMart (i.e. big store, longer trip)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *csekywithlove*
> 
> Never. The only time I am not in the car with DSS is when I am standing beside the car pumping gas.
> 
> ...


----------



## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

I voted it depends.


I do leave my sleeping toddler in the car with doors open and even the van trunk open while I sit on the front porch and read. I also will occasionally run into the house to use the restroom or grab a drink and then head right back outside.
I leave my sleeping toddler in the car at my girls very small school that is located in a residential neighborhood down a long driveway. I leave the doors open. I will leave her and sit with the teacher while the big girls play and I can see the car, I leave her while I clean the campus but come back often to see if she is awake and I will leave her while I run into the school to pick the girls up if they have already gone inside.
I have left all 3 girls in the car while I run into a store with full windows to pick up and pay for a pizza we already ordered and it is ready. I can see the car the whole time and it is locked and off.


----------



## csekywithlove (Feb 25, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *NellieKatz*
> 
> I can see about 3 things wrong with what the guy did:
> 
> ...


Exactly. I hate it for my friend but this isn't the first time that something has happened to her son while in the care of his step father. I just have to listen and give the best advice possible.


----------



## Veritas Vitae (Dec 26, 2011)

Two car stories.

1) My mom once left all 5 of us kids in the minivan when I was around 6 to run into the store and quickly pick up some things, in a not a dangerous or risky situation, small town, local market, windows in the front. My siblings were 6, 8, 10, and 12. All of my siblings were in the back seats and I was sitting in the driver's seat pretending to drive when I realized that there was a man sitting in the car next to us staring at us. I looked over trying to figure out what he was holding in his hand, and I remember him making eye contact with me holding something in his lap and jiggling it. I couldn't figure it out so I asked my brother (the 12 year old). It was vein-y and red and my brother figured out that it was his penis. He was sitting in the car looking at us playing and masturbating. So even if you're kids are responsible, you don't know what other people are going to do. That was the last time my mother ever left us in the car.

2) Prior to that, when I was around 4 or 5, my mom was in a friend's front yard chatting and my sister and I were playing in the car. I was pretending to drive, and even though it was an automatic, not a stick, when I switched the gears into "R" (I didn't know what it stood for) the car started rolling down the driveway. My twin sister was on top of the van and my mother freaked out. I was terrified when the car started rolling and moved it back into "P". Luckily nothing bad happened, but it was a very scary situation.

So I guess you never know what is going to happen, and you certainly can't control what happens beyond your car, your kids.


----------



## trekkingirl (Dec 2, 2009)

A few months back I heard a story on the local news about this situation. The mother had left a sleeping newborn baby in her car and went in a grocery store. Someone in the parking lot decided to steal her car not knowing that there was a baby in the back! Apparently when the baby woke up and started crying the guy realized he had just kidnapped a newborn baby and ditched the car in a very obvious pull off on a major highway so the baby would be found right away. The baby was fine but can you imagine how that story might have ended very differently, I can!


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

As a general rule, I won't leave them in the car if I'm actually going into a building, but will if I'm outside and can see the car. I will leave them in the car when I go into our house, though. Our parking space is right in front of the house - like maybe 15 feet from the front door, and it's all flat. When we're going somewhere, I usually get the kids all strapped in, then go back in for whatever else we may be taking (snacks for homelearning meetup, diaper bag, library books to be returned, etc.). It's way less insane than trying to do all that with them in the house, where they can easily slip past me and bolt. DD2, in particular, is usually happy to be in the car, because then she really knows she's going somewhere.

But, I won't leave them in the car with the keys inside at all. DS2 likes to play with the console, and he has no hesitation about locking me out. It's scary. I can also see him starting the van and trying to drive, which would be....amazingly terrifying.


----------



## sere234 (Feb 7, 2009)

Hehe, my parents used to do this OFTEN when we were kids and we HATED it! We'd all bicker and fight the whole time! A couple years ago I was remembering a winter night I went into a party sobbing to my parents that my siblings were so mean. I must have been 6 yo? The more I thought about it, the more I realized, my parents left my 4-5 siblings in the car alone while they went to a company party?!?!? I was appalled and can only imagine how my parents must have felt with me wandering in among my Dad's colleges!









I left DS in his carseat at a yard sale once, with my car parked along the road and me in the person's front yard. He yelled and I had to go get him







It felt kinda scary leaving him there...

I've also left him sleeping in the car in a family member's driveway if I can see him from the house.

Other than that? Nope, he hates being left and I'm fine bringing him with me. When we have another kid one day, I imagine they'll try to kill each other if left alone in the car so, nah, they'll come in with me


----------



## amma_mama (May 20, 2008)

DD is 7 now and I still would not do it if it involved going into a building, being out of eyesight or being out of reach even. Maybe in another couple of years for a quick errand, if she is OK with it. I never did it when she was a babe/toddler - not worth the risk. Though it was tempting at times - she was a lousy sleeper and was a beast when she woke up from naps (we learned to give her a 10-minute buffer before engaging her) - so having to wake her up from a nap to run in somewhere for two minutes was not something we wanted to do often. We managed to avoid those situations as best we could. I spent a lot of time reading in a parked car, waiting for her to awaken, so that I could take care of business. Not fun when you have only limited time in the evenings/on weekends to get stuff done, but we also knew that it was for a short period of time that we had to accommodate that. Though I understand if you have more than one kid, that period of time might be looooong (and look different!) but that was our situation so we worked with it.


----------



## C is for Cookie (Jan 27, 2011)

I remember my mom would leave me in the car if we went to home depot. (I hated home depot with a passion) I was around 10 ish but I was somewhat responsible and was actually afraid of the car driver's seat. (still am..) But... she didn't want to hear my bickering. The only other time she left me was when she had to get a few groceries, pay a bill, or go to the atm machine. But if it were left up to me, I would never leave my kids alone. I don't know. So many bad situations happened when I was left alone and I don't want my kids to be in the same situation if it can be avoided, yk?


----------



## chaimom (Aug 22, 2007)

I would never leave kids who were still in car seats to run an errand. To pay for gas, yes, but beyond that, no. My boys are 9 now and there have been a couple of times when they've wanted to stay in the car rather than go inside a store. I'm OK with that as long as the doors are locked. My 6 yo dd comes with me.


----------



## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

I have a 9 year old and I am not ready to leave her in a car while I run errands. Many times they (her and the 6 year old) have said they want to stay in the car but I just can't do it. It may be because I am veritas vitae's twin sister and I was in the car when the guy was staring at us rubbing his penis, I mean that was really scary! Even my older siblings didn't know what to do, we were afraid to leave the car, afraid to stay in the car. I won't even go buy gas with them in the car. Although I will leave them in the car at home and at their school like I mentioned previously.


----------



## Mittsy (Dec 29, 2009)

Yes, but only to gas the car or run inside our house to grab something quick.


----------



## Earthy Mama (Jun 4, 2004)

Yes, but my oldest is 13-so only when she's in the car, too.


----------



## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

yep....I leave the 10 year old in the car with the baby all of the time. It's never for a very long time...maybe 20 minutes at the most. Baby is ALWAYS falling asleep in the car ( poor 3rd child...lol) while we are out running around to activities and she will be an awful crank if we wake her. So, 10 year old will sit in the car with the a/c on with her while she sleeps. He is VERY capable and is able to turn off the car, if needed, unbuckle the baby, and remove her from her carseat and the car, if needed. It doesn't worry me in the least. Baby is 17 months and ds is 10 years old.


----------



## jmarroq (Jul 2, 2008)

I used to do this sometimes when my son was a baby if I could see the car and I totally regret it. I guess I saw my husband do it a time or two and thought it was acceptable. And we live in a very hot climate!!! It was really dumb. Now I only do it on occasion in cooler weather to pick up my daughter because my son is 9 and he doesn't want to get out of the car to go inside the pre-school. I get just as nervous bringing him inside, with all the little kids running around him.

Not only can someone steal your car, but someone could crash into it, or your child could get out, or something could happen to you while you are running into the building or something could happen to you while you are in the building and no one would know there was a child in the car! How scary!!

One time, I ran into CVS...got a space right out front. Daughter was really little but son was probably in kindergarten or 1st grade. I needed to drop 35 mm film in the film box. The film was too big to fit in the box for whatever reason (I think it was one of those disposable cameras with film inside it), so I had to give it to the clerk. Turns out, there was already a guy waiting to talk to the clerk and as he was taking his time and I was getting more nervous and about to leave....I saw a friend of mine and the first thing she asked was "where's the kids?" I was honest and told her they were in the car...that I didn't think there would be a line and I was just dropping off film...etc...she walked out at the same time as me with her mom and they both waved and smiled at the kids as we left, but she was standoffish with me after that. Can't blame her. Didn't look good.

Where do you draw the line though? I guess it's good to know the laws in your state. One time I went to put a grocery cart away after loading up my daughter and drop off a library book at the same time (the book drop is next to where the carts go). The book drop was full, and I wanted to make sure they got it, so I went inside for a second to put it in the indoor box. When I came out to the car a crazy woman was screaming at me and telling me she was going to call the cops. My daughter was probably 2 or 3 at the time but looked a lot younger because she was practically bald. I told her I went to return my cart and she was all in my face. I get where she was coming from, but I was parked four spaces over from the cart return/book drop. You mean to tell me she never returned a cart to the cart return before when she had kids....she was one of those people who just left it in the middle of the parking lot? To me, it's much safer to just load the kids up first, instead of trying to hold all of their hands while loading the trunk with groceries and while returning a cart, etc....but I can see the argument that something could happen in that 15 seconds it takes to return the cart...but I really think that woman was out of line since I was gone one minute. A cop actually started following me a minute later too!


----------



## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jmarroq*
> 
> Where do you draw the line though? I guess it's good to know the laws in your state. One time I went to put a grocery cart away after loading up my daughter and drop off a library book at the same time (the book drop is next to where the carts go). The book drop was full, and I wanted to make sure they got it, so I went inside for a second to put it in the indoor box. When I came out to the car a crazy woman was screaming at me and telling me she was going to call the cops. My daughter was probably 2 or 3 at the time but looked a lot younger because she was practically bald. I told her I went to return my cart and she was all in my face. I get where she was coming from, but I was parked four spaces over from the cart return/book drop. You mean to tell me she never returned a cart to the cart return before when she had kids....she was one of those people who just left it in the middle of the parking lot? To me, it's much safer to just load the kids up first, instead of trying to hold all of their hands while loading the trunk with groceries and while returning a cart, etc....but I can see the argument that something could happen in that 15 seconds it takes to return the cart...but I really think that woman was out of line since I was gone one minute. A cop actually started following me a minute later too!


I think it's because you went inside. I assume most people return their carts or drop off something at an outdoor drop, but going inside just feels... _different_. IDK why and IDK if that's a good or bad thing, but that's where I draw the line -- going inside.


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I say "no, never" (except an older child... 7 or older) Because I live in Phoenix, and I don't feel like it's safe.

But, in another town that I felt was safer, I would leave even a small child in the car if I could see them.


----------



## elizaveta (Jul 1, 2005)

No, never. The only time I can ever think that I left my daughter in the car was when I drove from Utah to Kansas alone with her, she was a little over a year old and I needed to pre-pay for gas and she had finally fallen asleep, so I pulled up to the front door, locked the car door and ran in, threw down my cash and ran back out. She's 6 now and I still don't leave her in the car alone. Now if she were older, I might, but I'm still not trusting her yet with that. I on the other hand remember sitting in the car for hours while my Dad did boring business things and I'd just sit and listen to the radio. I can remember doing that as young as 4 years old. I also was tied down to a motorcycle tank (with bungee cords and a pillow to rest my head on) on overnight trips as a baby and toddler (and I never wore a helmet, just a bandanna because no one wanted to brush out that mess







) and I was never required to wear a seat belt in the car and I always sat in the front, never the back unless both parents were present...







I'm totally the opposite of my parents. I DON'T KNOW HOW I SURVIVED!


----------



## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Yes. I don't live in the states, so no legal rules against it. And no "cultural rules" about it here either. Just common sense. You are going to be gone an hour, take your kid. You are going to be gone 5 or 10 minutes, ask your kid if they want to come in or stay in the car. My kids say which they prefer. FWIW, they are 7 and 5.


----------



## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

I think it all depends on the temperature outside, the age of your children, where you will be, etc. . . I left my babies in the car to run in and pay for gas, in the driveway when they were sleeping as toddlers (we lived on a mountain with no way they'd be abducted and it wasn't too hot or too cold and I left the doors open to hear them), etc. . . Now, they are 10 and 7, I let them choose if they want to go inside places with me. They often choose to stay in the car when I grocery shop, run into the bank, etc. . .so they can listen to their book on tape (the car doesn't have to be on to run the radio). There are places where I don't let them stay in the car, if it's an area that freaks me out, of course I wouldn't let them stay in the car. We aren't in the US, so I feel a bit more comfortable doing this. However, in the states, when I'm in an area that's "safe" I wouldn't worry about leaving them in the car to run a quick errand. In a city, nah, I wouldn't do it.


----------



## BubbleMa (Sep 24, 2007)

No!

This happened right down the street from my house when I was in high school, and even though I didn't have a child until a couple years later it really stuck with me. And still does, to this day. The mom went into a sandwich shop to get a Coke. It was in a strip mall and the car was parked right outside where she could see it. Yes, it could have been prevented if she had taken her keys with her, but the point is that anything can happen, at any time. It's just not worth it to me.

ETA: This didn't happen in a bad area either. It was a nice middle class suburb.


----------



## velveeta (May 30, 2002)

Well, I do sometimes leave two of my three in the car. Each time I say, "who wants to stay and who wants to go?" I have a two yo, and of course, she doesn't get to choose. The oldest NEVER wants to go in, and it varies with my five yo.

My kids know how to dial 911, and I only leave them when I feel it is safe to do so. They are five and almost nine. I would not leave my five yo without his older bro.

We homeschool and are always together. So, this works for us. my oldest also goes to the neighborhood park with another 8/9 yo (without me) and they bring a cell phone.


----------



## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *BubbleMa*
> 
> No!
> 
> ...


Well, this story makes me about want to throw up. I cannot imagine. I do think that leaving the keys in the car is a drastically different situation than not leaving the keys. Someone else mentioned carjackings earlier and I think that when someone sees a car running with no driver in it, that's a whole different thing than picking your parked car to steal and hot wire or whatever. That is just something that doesn't happen -- cars don't get hot wired while their owner has run into the post office to drop some mail in the box or run into 7-11 for a gallon of milk or is walking their kid up to the front of their school or whatever. OTOH, if the car is running and there's no one in the driver's seat, that's like an invitation. (I don't mean to place any blame on the mama in the story. Smart, caring people have lapses.) If I was you, though, BubbleMa, I wouldn't be able to do it either. I'm sure you've laid awake nights thinking about that poor boy and it's hard to shake that kind of image.


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

My childhood has a bad "kids left in the car " story , too. I'd never do that to my kids.

Mom had an old car, all three of us in the car while she ran into the store. I was 6, sister 5 and little brother 2. The car slipped out of gear or the brake didn't hold or something and we rolled into traffic. The car was hit by an oncoming car.. thankfully none of us were badly hurt.


----------



## BubbleMa (Sep 24, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rubidoux*
> 
> Well, this story makes me about want to throw up. I cannot imagine. *I do think that leaving the keys in the car is a drastically different situation than not leaving the keys. Someone else mentioned carjackings earlier and I think that when someone sees a car running with no driver in it, that's a whole different thing than picking your parked car to steal and hot wire or whatever. *That is just something that doesn't happen -- cars don't get hot wired while their owner has run into the post office to drop some mail in the box or run into 7-11 for a gallon of milk or is walking their kid up to the front of their school or whatever. OTOH, if the car is running and there's no one in the driver's seat, that's like an invitation. (I don't mean to place any blame on the mama in the story. Smart, caring people have lapses.) If I was you, though, BubbleMa, I wouldn't be able to do it either. I'm sure you've laid awake nights thinking about that poor boy and it's hard to shake that kind of image.


Absolutely! I do think taking your keys reduces the risks dramatically, but still. You just never know what could happen. I'm sure that mama never thought someone would steal her car in the middle of the day at a busy shopping center in the suburbs. There are just so many things that could happen in a split second.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *philomom*
> 
> My childhood has a bad "kids left in the car " story , too. I'd never do that to my kids.
> Mom had an old car, all three of us in the car while she ran into the store. I was 6, sister 5 and little brother 2. The car slipped out of gear or the brake didn't hold or something and we rolled into traffic. The car was hit by an oncoming car.. thankfully none of us were badly hurt.


How scary! That happened to our car when we were kids. It popped out of gear and rolled through the parking lot, down a steep hill, and hit a tree. Luckily none of us were inside. But that's one of those things that can happen in a split second.


----------



## eleuthia (Dec 4, 2011)

I wouldn't. I knew of a case where a child (older than 6) was left alone in the car while their parent went into a building for several minutes, and in that time frame, the child had strangulated in a seatbelt and suffered permanent, severe brain damage. Someone passing by saw the child, disentangled them, and began CPR - this means the door must have been unlocked, so if the child had been left in a locked car, they might have died.

I also witnessed the aftermath of a child knocking a car into gear at my elementary school. The car ran into a soccer goalpost and was stopped in a ditch right in front of a busy main road.

There are just too many things that could go wrong.


----------



## Kristal2146 (Jan 30, 2012)

I have on occasion. I would never do it if I was going to be gone for more than a few moments or if I can't see the car from where I am going to be. I have done it to go to the ATM once, and at times to pay for gas. My usual incination is to take them with me but if they are sleeping or if we've already been in and out of the car a lot that day I'm more likely to consider it. My kids are also quite young (2 and 3), if they were older and asked to stay in the car I might let them considering what their ages were at the time and where we were/how long I was going to be gone.

On the note of how.. I leave the radio on, car might be running if its chilly out but I always crack the front drivers side window. Not enough to anyone could get their hand through.. just enough to vent. I have an old car so I can take the keys out without killing the engine. The car is always locked and they keys are with me. I am also checking constantly and will leave whatever I"m doing (even an ATM transaction) if someone so much as pauses by my car and looks inside.

I just bought a minivan though.. so I'm not quite sure how that will work out. Getting the kids out is a little easier in my van than it was in the car.. so that might change what I do.. I've only had the van a few days so it hasn't come up yet.


----------



## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

I wouldn't do it. Not worth the risk. I'm even nervous when I'm pumping gas with her in her car seat or walking 1 car over to the cart corral to get a cart to sit her in, and if I forget something in the house I won't run back for it without taking her with me. It's so unlikely anything would happen, but I'd never forgive myself if it did. I would rather leave her sitting in the kitchen and take bags out to the car, then take her out, than take her out first and then the bags. (Can't see the car from the house because of where it is parked.) When I'm unloading groceries from the cart into the car I'm either wearing her or holding her or she's right there in the cart within my reach.

With older kids, I think I'd only leave them in the car if I'd feel comfortable leaving them in the house a longer length of time. I'd think I'd be okay with, oh, a nine-year-old staying home alone for a little while, so I'd let a nine-year-old sit in the car while I run a brief errand.


----------



## OkiMom (Nov 21, 2007)

This is a sticky place with me because Ive seen quite a few times where I thought it was pretty bad that the kids were left alone. Once was 3 children that weren't even buckled in (maybe a year, 3 and 5/6) that was left alone and were climbing all over the car. I actually caught one as he fell out of the window. The mom was inside chatting while she paid a bill, she just didn't want to "hassle" with the kids. Another was a woman who needed to withdraw money but didn't want to take her 18ish month old with her to do it so she left him absolutely hysterical in the car (poor thing was screaming mamamama, it was heartbreaking) and spent the time waiting making fun of him on the phone to her friend. Ughs! Both times I had taken all 3 of my children (all under the age of 5) out of the car because it wasn't a good idea to leave children unattended.

Short answer, at this point in their lives NO I wouldn't leave them if Im going inside a building. I would leave them if I was doing something like checking the mail or dropping a letter off to someone (not going into the house). If I have to go inside then they come in, if I can't fully see the car they come with me, if it takes more than maybe 2 minutes they come.

Maybe when they are around 8 I could see leaving them alone in the car while I ran in to pay for gas or paid a bill. Even that would only be if it was comfortable enough to stay in the car without it running.


----------



## tropicana (Sep 11, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *3xMama*
> 
> :I only will consider leaving my kids in the car in a situation where I can see the car at all times, like at the gas station if I have to go inside or like the above where I could see my car through the window. Otherwise, its really not a option. I do leave the car running if its cold or hot enough to warrant temp control.


i explicitly do *not* leave the car running. temperature control? really? if you are gone only a couple of minutes, how hot / cold can it possibly get in that space of time ... vs ... the risks of leaving a running car, which include: some stranger jumping in and taking off with your kids (kidnapping or carjacking), one of the kids getting out of their car seat and going for a drive, freak accident in which your car is hit by another car, and being that it is "running," it taking off, etc. etc.


----------



## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *erigeron*
> 
> When I'm unloading groceries from the cart into the car I'm either wearing her or holding her or she's right there in the cart within my reach.


Kind of sidetracking a bit, but I think it is probably safer for a child to be in the car than sitting in the grocery cart. The grocery cart can roll off while you're putting bags in the trunk, or tip in uneven parking lots or if kiddo tries to climb out, or the cart could even be hit because people drive so horribly in parking lots... I don't see much risk to leaving a kid in the car, buckled in, while you're right there loading the trunk up for 2 minutes, but I do see some risk with leaving a kid in the cart. I do it too though, because DS likes to help & be near me and is getting to old to be in a carrier, but I keep one hand on the cart at all times, which makes it a bit tricky to pick up bags! I guess I would think about why you're so nervous leaving her in the car even when you're right there touching the car (pumping gas etc.)?? Assuming you didn't leave the keys in the car and the window is open if necessary... I think you might be being a bit paranoid.







lol I am one of the most paranoid people on the planet so I can relate and I hope you take no offense at me saying that!


----------



## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

Yeah, I know I'm paranoid!  I just get worried about getting carjacked or something! When possible I get my husband to put gas in that car--we share both cars, and I figure he's less of a vulnerable figure--or I do it on something like an evening supermarket run when he's home with the kid. As for the shopping cart thing, putting her in the cart seat is relatively new to us since she has only been able to sit up in the past month or so, so we're still figuring that out. But typically we don't buy that many groceries for just 2 adults so it's not a big deal to keep one hand on her while unloading 1 or 2 bags worth of groceries. And she's too little to climb out. As she gets bigger, we'll see how it goes.


----------



## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *erigeron*
> 
> Yeah, I know I'm paranoid!
> 
> ...


Maybe you should take a martial arts class or something.







In case someone tries to carjack you while you're pumping gas. I keep wanting to take a class myself but I haven't quite gotten around to it.


----------



## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

Hubby wants daughter to study martial arts when she's older. Maybe she and I can both go.


----------



## MommyofNRM (Mar 10, 2011)

I wouldn't do it. I'm pretty paranoid- I'm always afraid someone will steal my car or someone will hit it and my son will be injured without me. A friend of mine does it all the time. She lives in a condo community and leaves her 22 month old son in the car to run into her condo. There's a path from her parking space to her building so he is completely out of sight. Makes me and DH cringe every time she mentions it.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I wouldn't leave a kid young enough to get scared or wonder where I was, so I wouldn't leave a kid that young, but older kids? I am not worried about car jacking (though I take the keys iwth me) and I'm even less, much much less, worried about people kidnapping them because of how rare that is.


----------



## Wolfcat (Jan 10, 2006)

I live in a small town, so most of the kidnapping/car jacking concerns are non-issues for me. But I do leave the kids in the car sometimes. Once, on a road trip by myself with a baby in the car seat, asleep, I had to stop to pee. I realized that if I ran inside and back out, it would take less than five minutes and the baby would probably sleep through the whole thing. If I took him inside, I would have to carry the baby in the sling, plus he had the tendency to pee upon waking, so I'd end up changing him, and he would take a while to go back to sleep. It was a judgment call. I left him locked in the car. No muss, no fuss, no problem. I worried the whole time about it and breathed a sigh of relief upon getting back to the car and still-sleeping baby without incident.

That's when I came up with the idea of parking lot ushers in large truck stop-type gas stations. If you buy something, no charge; if you don't, a small fee ($1 or less). They watch kids asleep in cars while the parents make a quick trip inside. They also will take small, simple orders for drinks, cigarettes, etc. while people pump gas, so they don't have to run inside when they pay-at-the-pump. *sighs* My dream world.

I think that it's the shopping for a half hour types of people who make leaving kids in the car for a few minutes unacceptable.


----------



## anjsmama (Apr 6, 2011)

No, never.

My kids are 3.5 y/o and 1 y/o and I've never left them in the car. I'm the one who unbuckles both kids and carries them to drop the mail in the mailbox and then puts them back in. I also live on the second floor, and I won't leave the kids in the car to take something upstairs into the house. Unfortunately, I seem to have a friend/story for everything... and I know someone who lost their child because they left them in a car and forgot (I know that sounds completely impossible, but sleep deprivation is an insane thing), and I know someone who left their kids in the car running and locked the doors just to run to the ATM, and locked the keys in the car and had to call the police.

Something in my brain always imagines worst possible scenarios, so everytime I feel tempted to just leave them buckled and comfy where they are *for just a minute*, my brain travels to car-jacking, kidnapping, keys locked inside, 3 y/o unbuckles himself and runs away, God knows what... would any of this ever happen? Almost certainly not, but it's definitely enough to keep me from ever leaving them in the car.


----------



## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

I had my purse stolen at a fireworks show once. Somebody walked by our blanket and just walked off with it, and of course I never had any idea who. That just underscored for me that something bad can happen in only a second, so even though the chances of me being carjacked in a decently nice residential area are pretty low, they're not nonexistent. And a heck of a lot more is at stake! Hence my paranoia, I think.


----------



## marsupial-mom (Feb 3, 2010)

Where I live it's illegal to leave children 12 or under in a car alone. I wouldn't risk it - too dangerous for them and too legally risky for me.


----------



## AImom (Feb 11, 2012)

Never. Ever. I wish we lived in a safer time, but we don't. I am certainly one of THOSE people who will call security on anyone leaving their kids in the car if I can't see an adult in the car (usually one is sleeping with the seat reclined-Ido that all the time if my daugher is sleeping). If you aren't going to take your kids in, why did you bring them? Don't mean to be callous but I have issues with such things. Plus I live in an increasingly criminal town. It's not even a big city! It's just that people are bored and want to make names for themselves because they have no chance to in a real city ...

Just the other day a guy that had JUST been released from prison (on manslaughter charges) grabbed a 9yo girl who's mom left her in the toy section while she was getting produce. Also a few weeks back a girl and her brother were left in a car and a man saw the mom leave them and approached them and tried to take them both but the girl got out and the guy stole the car WITh the boy -purposefully! The girl tried to get her brother out but could not and had to go to the store to get her mom. I know I can't protect my kids from all harm, but why put them in an unnecessary situation.


----------



## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AImom*
> 
> Just the other day a guy that had JUST been released from prison (on manslaughter charges) grabbed a 9yo girl who's mom left her in the toy section while she was getting produce. Also a few weeks back a girl and her brother were left in a car and a man saw the mom leave them and approached them and tried to take them both but the girl got out and the guy stole the car WITh the boy -purposefully! The girl tried to get her brother out but could not and had to go to the store to get her mom. I know I can't protect my kids from all harm, but why put them in an unnecessary situation.


I heard about the Wal-Mart incident. How scary for that 9yo girl. But really, I actually do think 9yo is old enough to be left alone in the toy section for a few minutes while the parent shops for other things (assuming the child is comfortable w/ that). I don't know...my oldest is 7 and she and my 5 yo play outside, alone, for long periods of time. Of course, we live in a safe neighborhood, non-busy street,tons of kids always out playing, know everyone, etc.

And yes, I do leave my kids in the car occassionally. Only at places where I can get a sopt RIGHT IN FRONT of the store (cleaners, Goodwill drop-off, movie rental) and onlt have to walk 10-15 feet to the front door. I can see them at all times and I always take the keys and lock the car. And it's never for more than a minute or two.


----------



## Mrs. Bratton (Jan 27, 2008)

Only to pay for gas at my regular gas station right outside my neighborhood and a few other ones in MY town, only if I can park at the first pump, the front of the gas station is all windows, and there is no line inside. I never leave the keys inside the vehicle and always lock it. I also have done this when dropping off at the UPS store in our town. Same scenario. Good weather, I can see her the whole time through the store windows, vehicle locked, keys in my hand. We live in a small town outside of Little Rock. I NEVER do this in Little Rock regardless of the circumstances. I am literally in these stores less than 30 seconds. As long at it takes to set down a package or say "$XX on pump one" and I am looking at her the whole time.


----------



## member234098 (Aug 3, 2002)

.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *miriam*
> 
> My husband did it all the time - ALL the time.
> 
> I did it once. I had three LOs in carseats. I parked, turned off the motor, rolled down the window an inch, locked the doors and walked a few steps to an ATM. My children could see me and I could see them. A police car drove up and gave me a ticket for child endangerment. Great. Story of my life.


Wow! Did you fight the ticket? That's just plain crazy. Just walking a few steps up to an ATM?


----------



## AbbyGrant (Jan 12, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *miriam*
> 
> I did it once. I had three LOs in carseats. I parked, turned off the motor, rolled down the window an inch, locked the doors and walked a few steps to an ATM. My children could see me and I could see them. A police car drove up and gave me a ticket for child endangerment. Great. Story of my life.


Statistically speaking, I'd lay money that your children would have been at greater or at least equal risk getting in and out of the car, walking to and from the ATM, and waiting at the ATM while you withdrew money. I'd be curious what the outcome of the ticket was since I do this all the time.


----------



## averysmomma05 (Feb 28, 2007)

I do if I need to run back into my house BUT we live down a 2 mile dirt road with only family around on our land. Never in a public place.My girls are 4 and 6


----------



## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *miriam*
> 
> My husband did it all the time - ALL the time.
> 
> I did it once. I had three LOs in carseats. I parked, turned off the motor, rolled down the window an inch, locked the doors and walked a few steps to an ATM. My children could see me and I could see them. A police car drove up and gave me a ticket for child endangerment. Great. Story of my life.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AbbyGrant*
> 
> Statistically speaking, I'd lay money that your children would have been at greater or at least equal risk getting in and out of the car, walking to and from the ATM, and waiting at the ATM while you withdrew money. I'd be curious what the outcome of the ticket was since I do this all the time.


OMG! That is so crazy! I was going to say the same. The children were probably much safer in the car. Unbelievable! I'm sorry that happened to you.


----------



## member234098 (Aug 3, 2002)

.


----------



## AbbyGrant (Jan 12, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *miriam*
> 
> It was years ago. I shared the story with my parenting group at the time. My children are now grown.
> 
> Outcome of the ticket? The policeman is always right, don't you know? It was a small town and I have not done any business in that place since. My own personal boycott.


That's terrible. I admire your boycott. I'm really hoping the police in my town have better things to do because I can't imagine dragging my kids up to the ATM with me. Maybe my tinted windows will come in handy.


----------



## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

I do if I can see the car and it's only a few minutes. Our bank has an ATM where you have to park, walk 8 steps and go the atm. You can't just drive up. I take the keys and do it. I'll also park and run books to the library book drop (we don't have drive up ones here) or park in a friends' driveway and run up to the door to drop something off. I feel perfectly fine doing those.


----------



## lotusblossom5 (Feb 15, 2012)

The first ting I will say is that I have been fortunate enough to learn not to judge others without having a tragedy. My mom had cancer and I had to ttake her to an appointment on a day that my infant son was home sick. My aunt was also with us. I dropped the two of them at the door, parked and met them inside. We sat tgere chatting and all of a sudden my aunt exclaimed, "oh my God, the baby!" It was in Phoenix in June and thankfully a mild day. He had been in tgere for about a half hour just before noon. He had been crying and he was hot but praise whoever you want to praise he was fine. It was not the normal routine and I was so worried about my mom. I've seen reports previously where kids had died and was very judgemental. I never thought it could happen to he because I was a "good mom." Good moms screw up sometimes, too. Though I still have guilt feelings over whhat could have happened, I am so thankful it's simply a bad memory of a mistake rather than something I have to live with everyday.


----------



## lotusblossom5 (Feb 15, 2012)

The first ting I will say is that I have been fortunate enough to learn not to judge others without having a tragedy. My mom had cancer and I had to ttake her to an appointment on a day that my infant son was home sick. My aunt was also with us. I dropped the two of them at the door, parked and met them inside. We sat tgere chatting and all of a sudden my aunt exclaimed, "oh my God, the baby!" It was in Phoenix in June and thankfully a mild day. He had been in tgere for about a half hour just before noon. He had been crying and he was hot but praise whoever you want to praise he was fine. It was not the normal routine and I was so worried about my mom. I've seen reports previously where kids had died and was very judgemental. I never thought it could happen to he because I was a "good mom." Good moms screw up sometimes, too. Though I still have guilt feelings over whhat could have happened, I am so thankful it's simply a bad memory of a mistake rather than something I have to live with everyday.


----------



## aHikaru (Apr 12, 2011)

I only leave my babe in the car when I have to run back in the house and grab something. Otherwise, she's with me all the time, I chose to have a child and chose to be 100 percent committed to taking care of her, anything that happens ( even if she trips on a rock ), is my fault and I love having her around me all the time, so there is no reason why I wouldn't bring her with me everywhere.


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cassandraz*
> 
> I only leave my babe in the car when I have to run back in the house and grab something. Otherwise, she's with me all the time, I chose to have a child and chose to be 100 percent committed to taking care of her, *anything that happens ( even if she trips on a rock ), is my fault* and I love having her around me all the time, so there is no reason why I wouldn't bring her with me everywhere.


Umm...how old is your dd? Because my ds is 3yo, and he has fallen down several times (ok, more than several) when it wasn't my fault at all. He runs into walls, when he was right at table height he would hit his head on the table, I mean, kids get hurt. They fall down. It's part of being a kid and learning to pick yourself back up and learn to watch where you're going. You can't take 100% responsibility for every single thing that happens to your kid until they turn 18.

I just don't get your post.


----------



## aHikaru (Apr 12, 2011)

I was answering the question and making a reference to the post, I take responsibility for what happens to my daughter by making it better, if something worse than an injury should happen to my daughter while being left in a car, I am responsible. My overall consensus on the subject was that if you choose to leave your children in the car, you are responsible for what happens to them in the car while your gone, as with everything else that happens to them throughout their life.

I understand your opinion, I'm not a helicopter mom, so my DD definitely falls a lot, but when she does I don't blame myself, I just find a way to help her to not fall again and in most cases it is my role, as a mother, to have my eyes on her and keep her safe.


----------



## trekkingirl (Dec 2, 2009)

lotusblossom5 welcome to MDC!

I wanted to offer hugs and just say thanks for sharing your experience. We all think those situations couldn't happen to us. Truth is we're all human.


----------



## FinNinjaKix (Feb 15, 2012)

I have a friend who would leave her son in the car all the time, especially if he was sleeping. I can't imagine doing that with my babies....ever. She always used the reasoning that odds were very low of anything bad happening. But I look at it this way...you wouldn't leave piles of money laying on the seat in plain view because, even though most people are good, honest people, it still might get stolen. So why would you take that chance with your priceless child???


----------



## AbbyGrant (Jan 12, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FinNinjaKix*
> 
> I have a friend who would leave her son in the car all the time, especially if he was sleeping. I can't imagine doing that with my babies....ever. She always used the reasoning that odds were very low of anything bad happening. But I look at it this way...you wouldn't leave piles of money laying on the seat in plain view because, even though most people are good, honest people, it still might get stolen. So why would you take that chance with your priceless child???


Because most people are far more interested in stealing a pile of money than a sleeping kid.


----------



## FinNinjaKix (Feb 15, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AbbyGrant*
> 
> Because most people are far more interested in a pile of money than in a sleeping kid.


True, most people are. But there are some out there who are more interested in a sleeping kid than in the pile of money. However low the risk, we're talking about my child's life here.

I know that as a mother I will need to let my children take some risks in life when it is important for their social or emotional development. With my oldest now being 8 years old and routinely asserting her independence, I struggle with this already. But I simply don't see this as one of those risks worth taking. I take those risks that better my child in some way, not the ones that are purely for my own convenience.


----------



## AbbyGrant (Jan 12, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *FinNinjaKix*
> 
> True, most people are. But there are some out there who are more interested in a sleeping kid than in the pile of money. However low the risk, we're talking about my child's life here.


There are risks everywhere. Removing my children from the car every time I get out doesn't remove all risk. I think being strapped in their car seats in a parked car with the windows cracked and no keys is safer at times than getting out. And I just can't get all worked up about the infinitesimal that they might be abducted from my parked car considering that I just had them in a moving vehicle which is the single greatest risk they face.



> Originally Posted by *FinNinjaKix*
> 
> I take those risks that better my child in some way, not the ones that are purely for my own convenience.


I don't leave my kids in the car as solely for my own convenience. They are much happier there than being dragged out of the car to go to the ATM or so I can run back in the house to get something I forgot or to pee. And my son is definitely happier for being able to finish his snooze in the parked car in the driveway than to be hauled out and into the house.

You're certainly free to do what you like, and I'm not trying to convince you to do otherwise, but you asked.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I don't really think there's anything wrong with doing something for convenience if there isn't a significant risk. But if my kid wants to come with me, I let her. If she stays in the car, it's becasue she doesn't want to be bothered to come out for the two minutes I'll be in the store.


----------



## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

Dropping something off in a strip-mall store or Post Office with big windows, when I can park right out front? Sure.

Running back into the house for a forgotten item? Sure.

Walking a few steps to a non-drive-up ATM? Sure.

Other than that, it bothers me. And obviously I turn the car off and lock all doors. It won't help me much that I can see the car at all times if what I see a carjacker hopping into it and driving away!


----------



## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cassandraz*
> 
> I only leave my babe in the car when I have to run back in the house and grab something. Otherwise, she's with me all the time, I chose to have a child and chose to be 100 percent committed to taking care of her, anything that happens ( even if she trips on a rock ), is my fault and I love having her around me all the time, so there is no reason why I wouldn't bring her with me everywhere.


Are you telling me that when my 7yo trips coming off the bus steps at school that this is somehow my fault? Are you also saying that by choosing to have a child and not being with them 100% time that it is somehow poor parenting? Does your daughter nap? Does she sleep at night and do you sleep with her at all times? Does she bathe with you everytime you bathe? Does she sit in the bathroom with you when you're on the pot? Will she ever go to school? Will you ever have to work? Will you ever be alone with your partner? What will happen when you have another child? Who will get 100% of your attention then? It's pretty easy to see that you only have one kid, and she's still pretty young. Careful about the judgemental tone. One day down the road, whether it's next week or next year, you'll want and need to be alone. I can almost guarantee it.


----------



## vermontgirl (Aug 15, 2006)

My kids are 3 and 5 and I do not leave them in the car. The only situation that has ever been appropriate was an outdoor farm stand where I was able to grab some veggies quickly right next to my car. I turned the car off and locked it even though I was right there outside.

I can't imagine them being old enough to leave them alone in the car. They will probably be 8 and 10 when I think they are responsible enough to sit by themselves.


----------



## closedaccount15 (Dec 25, 2007)

Funny this post came up...law in our state is the car (or baby?) needs to be in view. Of course the law is vague...anyway, after months of taking my older child to preschool, running in and out to drop her off (4 max minutes total each time - usually only 2 minutes, that is how close the car is to the door, and she is already lined up with her coat on every day as their routine) and waking my 1 year old up and then not having her nap the rest of the day, I decided to leave her in the car while she was sleeping, I take her in the preschool if she is awake, although a total PITA because once she is out of the carseat she pitches a fit if she has to get back in. If this was in a strip mall, or shopping center or any place public, a library, etc, I would not have done it, but the distance from the open door (and even closed it has large windows) is shorter than my driveway. I leave the windows down partially so I could hear her cry, I can see her the whole time. By the way the preschool is on a side road, in a small church/cemetary lot with a horse farm next to it, there are no houses even close by and the only people in the parking lot are those dropping the kids off at school and the church ladies who work there during the day. I don't ever even leave her in the car in my driveway (which is pretty long...but still I don't do it)

Anyway...one of the other mothers is a police officer. She cornered me, while I was holding onto my 4 year old and told me that all the mothers had been telling her about my toddler being in the car and that if she saw me do it again she would arrest me and put me in jail. No nice wording, no "hey I wasn't sure if you aware of the law" or "I am concerned" . I tried to explain to her that my daughter was in view and she said "well you know it's wrong and you continue to do it, so I will arrest you" On a side note, she has no jurisdiction in this county, which I guess doesn't matter to her. Not only did she freak out my daughter who says every time I make a mistake "are you going to go to jail mommy?" but she also made me feel horrible as a mother, her tone was how could you, you know it's wrong. Plus apparently other mothers agreed and were talking to her about it (hmm, if it was so dangerous why didn't one of those mothers come to me first instead of talking about me behind my back and doing nothing? or at least offer to walk my child in the preschool or offer to keep an eye on the toddler and not sit around and gossip about how horrible I am)

So long story short...nope now I never leave my child in the car. In fact, I now have a babysitter come 3 days a week to watch my toddler just so I don't have to deal with this woman or anyone thinking I am neglecting my child or putting her in a dangerous situation. I am more likely to have my car jacked in the city (which I go often) while I am in it then break into my locked car in the middle of nowhere. But anyway I don't do it anymore, I can't risk someone thinking I am neglecting my child. Now even when my nearly 5 year old doesn't want to wear a coat, I make her wear it because I am afraid someone is going to call CPS on me for neglect.


----------



## mt_gooseberry (Jun 25, 2010)

I am in rural small-town Montana, so I do leave my kids in the car quite frequently in certain situations (less than 5 min, good visibility, temps, etc). I wouldn't if I was in a big city. Maybe that sounds naive, but there you have it. The "feel" of a place makes all the difference to me.

I remember my parents (esp. my dad) used to leave us in the car for what seemed like forever, but it was probably for no more than like 20 min. That was a different time, though, and lots of people didn't even use carseats when I was little.


----------



## anexia (Jan 16, 2011)

As a mother of twin toddlers I can not always carry both babies and help my preschooler safely into preschool. All my babies are safer in their car seats for the 2 minutes or less it takes me to see my boy safely into school. Especially this time of year when its often well below freezing outside and very icy. And I am one of several people at his school who leave thier babies in the car during drop-off and pick-up.

I live in a small town where I know most of the people I see on a daily basis. I have a few select places where I leave my kids in the car, for a few minutes or less, where I can see them, weather permiting and when they are content.

I beleive we all pretend we dont do this but life is about what works for you. Children should never be left in the car while you shop but there are places and situations when this is really not a problem.

Anyone who wants to judge me can try lifting 2 babies out of carseats. Helping a preschooler out of the car. Carrying nearly 50 lbs of baby and safely navigating a busy, icy drop of parking circle. NO big deal? Now do it 4 times in a day.

A little less judgement from eachother would be nice.


----------



## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

Depends on the circumstances.


----------



## kythe (Dec 20, 2007)

I once left my 6 year old sleeping in the car for a few minutes while I took my older child into a convenience store. Someone called the police and I was actually arrested. I wasn't taken to jail, they called it a "field arrest". I fought it and the case was dismissed, so it is no longer on my record. But I paid almost $2000 for a lawyer on this case. I've never left a child in a car again for any reason.

I'm in Arizona, and apparantly there is a state law that children cannot be left unattended in cars under age 15. Basically, if they can't drive the car, they can't be alone in it. Ironically, there are no laws specifying an age to be left home alone, though the "recommended age" to be unattended in a house is only 12.


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I suspect if you looked through this thread, parents of kids under 5 are going to be much more likely to say "never" than the parents of kids who are above 8 or so. At some point in time the option of leaving a cranky 9 year old in a locked car with a good book starts to look more appealing than dragging the cranky 9 year old into the drug store to pick up a prescription!

I guess my point is: Be careful about absolutes in your parenting. If I've learned anything in my short 10 1/2 years of parenting is that I have to be flexible and adapt to my children's changing needs.


----------



## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kythe*
> 
> I once left my 6 year old sleeping in the car for a few minutes while I took my older child into a convenience store. Someone called the police and I was actually arrested. I wasn't taken to jail, they called it a "field arrest". I fought it and the case was dismissed, so it is no longer on my record. But I paid almost $2000 for a lawyer on this case. I've never left a child in a car again for any reason.
> 
> I'm in Arizona, and apparantly there is a state law that children cannot be left unattended in cars under age 15. Basically, if they can't drive the car, they can't be alone in it. Ironically, there are no laws specifying an age to be left home alone, though the "recommended age" to be unattended in a house is only 12.


Just wondering if this has to do with how hot it can get in most of Arizona? Perhaps the law was made to keep parents from leaving children in the car to prevent deaths. Just a thought.


----------



## phyleon (Aug 2, 2011)

Wow. I cannot believe that anyone would leave their precious child in the car "just for a second." It only takes "just a second" for someone to break into a car. Even if you can see the car from where you are, how fast can you run to it when someone is breaking in?


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *LynnS6*
> 
> I guess my point is: Be careful about absolutes in your parenting. If I've learned anything in my short 10 1/2 years of parenting is that I have to be flexible and adapt to my children's changing needs.


This is ALWAYS true!! Parenting changes so fast depending on so many factors.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *3xMama*
> 
> Just wondering if this has to do with how hot it can get in most of Arizona? Perhaps the law was made to keep parents from leaving children in the car to prevent deaths. Just a thought.


That doesn't make a lot of sense if you're talking about a 14 year old, though. I mean...at 14, a kid is going to know to open windows or doors or whatever, and be able to do so. Since ds1 was about 14, I've left my younger kids in the car without hesitation if he was with us. (Admittedly, we don't have the heat issues here, except for a very brief period in the summer when a car can overheat pretty quickly, but my oldest was more than able to watch his siblings for a bit.)


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AbbyGrant*
> 
> There are risks everywhere. Removing my children from the car every time I get out doesn't remove all risk. I think being strapped in their car seats in a parked car with the windows cracked and no keys is safer at times than getting out. And I just can't get all worked up about the infinitesimal that they might be abducted from my parked car considering that I just had them in a moving vehicle which is the single greatest risk they face.


This. One of the issues that gets debated a lot is about returning grocery store carts to the corral. I generally leave my kids in the car while I do this. Some people feel that's irresponsible. But, while I concede there's a faint possibility of something happening to them in the 30-45 seconds that I'm gone, I feel the odds are considerably higher that something could happen to them in a parking lot, with people backing up, driving too fast, etc. Parking lots are freaking dangerous, especially for people who are too short to be seen in a rearview mirror. I have three young children, and trying to make sure they stay put, whlie also returning my cart, exposes them to more risk (although still not a lot) than leaving them in the car for a minute or less. People get hyper focused on the dangers of kids being in cars, and forget the dangers of kids being around cars. Admittedly, I'm a bit overlly focused on that, myself. I have next to no fear of abduction, carjacking (well, those don't really happen around here - not ever, as far as I know), etc., but walking near busy streets, crossing parking lots, etc. definitely triggers my parental anxiety.


----------



## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *phyleon*
> 
> Wow. I cannot believe that anyone would leave their precious child in the car "just for a second." It only takes "just a second" for someone to break into a car. Even if you can see the car from where you are, how fast can you run to it when someone is breaking in?


It takes just a second for that drunk driver to hit you when you're driving your kid home from ballet at 8pm too, but no one is saying don't ever drive with your kids in the car. Why can't we just take the risks we feel comfortable with as parents instead of juding others who take risks we don't? This thread is filled with so much OMG I would never do that, what are you awful parents thinking???? instead of nope I just choose not to do it for reasons x, y, z or I do it for reasons x, yz. Why do we have to add this to the stupid list of shit mom's judge each other about? This mommy war crap on here is getting ridiculous.


----------



## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *phyleon*
> 
> Wow. I cannot believe that anyone would leave their precious child in the car "just for a second." It only takes "just a second" for someone to break into a car. Even if you can see the car from where you are, how fast can you run to it when someone is breaking in?


Car thieves do not want your children. That takes a theft charge to a "life in prison for kidnapping charge", im pretty sure the car with two or three kids in the backseat is NOT the target for the thief. And if someone wants to KIDNAP your child, taking a child from a locked car in a crowded gas station parking lot when the mom is sure to come back in minutes (if not seconds), where there is likely to be cameras filming the car....not exactly the ideal kidnapping situation. It amazes me what people come up with to justify judging other moms.

Or...maybe we just dont love our precious children as much as you do yours.


----------



## 3xMama (Oct 14, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
> 
> That doesn't make a lot of sense if you're talking about a 14 year old, though. I mean...at 14, a kid is going to know to open windows or doors or whatever, and be able to do so. Since ds1 was about 14, I've left my younger kids in the car without hesitation if he was with us. (Admittedly, we don't have the heat issues here, except for a very brief period in the summer when a car can overheat pretty quickly, but my oldest was more than able to watch his siblings for a bit.)


True. My thought is that it may just be a blanket law. Its easier to say everyone who is not old enough to drive cannot stay alone in a car as opposed to worrying about which preteens are responsible enough and which would panic or even go for a joyride. Its easier just to ban everyone than to make exceptions. Does that make sense?


----------



## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *anexia*
> 
> As a mother of twin toddlers I can not always carry both babies and help my preschooler safely into preschool. All my babies are safer in their car seats for the 2 minutes or less it takes me to see my boy safely into school. Especially this time of year when its often well below freezing outside and very icy. And I am one of several people at his school who leave thier babies in the car during drop-off and pick-up.
> 
> I live in a small town where I know most of the people I see on a daily basis.


My kids go to Head Start preschool and one of the things they stressed during orientation was that if anyone left children in their cars during drop off they CAN and WILL call police and make a neglect charge on the parents.







They were so adament about it that i'm even afraid to leave my nearly-ten-yr old dd in the car when i run in to get the boys.

I totally get you about the twin toddler thing. When people say they unstrap their kids to take them into, say, the gas station even if they can see the car from the store and even if they are only going to be in there a minute...its hard for me to imagine. To take so much time, navigate a busy parking lot, deal with the kids begging for stuff in the store, then back across the parking lot, load everyone in...when i could just run in there and pay (well, usually i pay at the pump) in less than a minute, makes no sense to me at all.

I used to have to make a four hour roundtrip drive every few months to meet my oldest's father to exchange him for visits, and often during that drive i'd have to pee, but the boys would be asleep in the back. When i have to pee, i have to go *now*...if i had to wake up sleeping kids to drag them into a dirty restroom all while i had to pee, i'd pee my pants (sorry, TMI!) So i found that there are Speedways at regular intervals on the freeway, and their bathrooms are always right by the door. I can lock my car, run in, pee, and be back in my car in about a minute.

I think sometimes as parents you gotta do what you gotta do.


----------



## sk8boarder15 (Jan 12, 2010)

It depends, I have left, my young son alone in the car a few times when he is sleeping. The main thing for me is people do not snatch kids out of cars, its is exceedingly rare. What is actually going to happen? Some saftey freak calling the cops on me is my biggest concern. If its decent out and my kids is asleep, he's fine in his seat while I run in chipoltle to grab a burrito, or run in the vet to pick up the cat food. We are both happier, and no harm will come of it.


----------



## trekkingirl (Dec 2, 2009)

hmmmm?


----------



## thegoodearth (Jun 6, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lillymonster*
> 
> Funny this post came up...law in our state is the car (or baby?) needs to be in view. Of course the law is vague...anyway, after months of taking my older child to preschool, running in and out to drop her off (4 max minutes total each time - usually only 2 minutes, that is how close the car is to the door, and she is already lined up with her coat on every day as their routine) and waking my 1 year old up and then not having her nap the rest of the day, I decided to leave her in the car while she was sleeping, I take her in the preschool if she is awake, although a total PITA because once she is out of the carseat she pitches a fit if she has to get back in. If this was in a strip mall, or shopping center or any place public, a library, etc, I would not have done it, but the distance from the open door (and even closed it has large windows) is shorter than my driveway. I leave the windows down partially so I could hear her cry, I can see her the whole time. By the way the preschool is on a side road, in a small church/cemetary lot with a horse farm next to it, there are no houses even close by and the only people in the parking lot are those dropping the kids off at school and the church ladies who work there during the day. I don't ever even leave her in the car in my driveway (which is pretty long...but still I don't do it)
> 
> ...


Wow! That's a horrible story. I'm sorry you had that experience.


----------



## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

I have. I'll hand my oldest one my phone to play with and run in somewhere. I always take the keys. I do it to pay for gas too.


----------



## earthgirl (Feb 6, 2006)

Yep. But not as much as I would if I weren't afraid of strangers freaking out and calling the cops on me. Honestly, I'm more afraid of that happening than I am of some unspeakable tragedy happening while I spend 30 seconds returning library books, or what have you.


----------



## SkyMomma (Jul 13, 2006)

I occasionally let (when he just wants to sit in the car and read) my 8 year old stay in the car while I run into the coffeshop. But I always take the keys with me & leave the car locked. I never leave my 3 year in the car, even if he's with his brother. He's just too impulsive and easily gets himself out of his seat.


----------



## sarah12 (Apr 30, 2012)

I can't believe people do this ... wow!`


----------



## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Mine are 10 and 8, so I do let them stay in the car now if they want to. That's only if I'll be in a store/library where I can see the car. I wouldn't do it at the supermarket yet. I also take the keys and lock the doors. Even if the windows are down, if a person reaches in to unlock a door, the alarm goes off. My kids are very sensible (and safety conscious almost to a fault) and would never climb into the front seat to mess with anything. Obviously I would never let them stay in the car when it is even remotely hot or dangerously cold. Lots of things are factors in this: area in which you live, children's personality/responsibility, etc.


----------



## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sarah12*
> 
> I can't believe people do this ... wow!`


Really? why? you'd think for your first post on a website, you'd try to give a little more opinion than that. "wow"?! i think people here in this very long thread have given very reasonable reasons why they would "do this"...maybe you could give your reasons why you think they are wrong? (hopefully its something other than someone is lurking to kidnap your children in the two minutes it will take you to pay for your gas....







)

whats ironic is i dont see too many moms here who do choose to leave their kids in the car at times posting "omg, i can't believe you tote all three of your toddlers into the gas station to pay! whats wrong with you?? Dont you care about all of the remotely possible things that could go wrong in that walk across the parking lot?? i just love my kids more than that! why oh WHY would someone even think that was ok?!?!" but those of us who feel that its a safe, reasonable option in certain situations get that all the time when these threads pop up.


----------



## KaliShanti (Mar 23, 2008)

My kids are 5, 2 and 5 months. I leave them in the car to go to the ATM... Which is five feet from the car. I leave them to drop books off at the library box drop... Which is about eight feet from the car. I leave them in the car in my driveway for a minute too. That's it.







I am sure the time will come when they are older they can be left longer but I think there are laws to when in Texas.


----------



## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

My kids are 16 years and 15 months. My boyfriend's kids are 11, 8 and 4 years. Between the two of us, there is rarely a need for any child to be alone in a car, however, occasionally, it happens. If my 16 year old is there, he can watch the younger ones for a few minutes. If the 11 year old is there, she can watch the 8 and 4 year olds for a few minutes, occasionally. (She has a cell phone and would call into the store or whatever, if need be, she is very precocious, and she will be 12 next month.) My boyfriend leaves his three kids alone in the car for longer periods of time (half hour, sometimes longer), but I am uncomfortable with that and would not do as such with the oldest child only 11.


----------



## Jodie (Jul 18, 2002)

I haven't read the whole thread.

I voted all the time. Mine are 7 and 5 though and they know the rules. Most of the time given the chose they want to stay in the car.

Usually they are in the car by themselves if I have to go in and pay for gas, drop off or pick up library books, pay a bill. You know stuff where I will be gone for 5 min or less.

The car is locked and they stay in their buckles. I don't see anything wrong with this. I'm having a new baby in July and don't know how I will work it, I'll have to feel it out.

If it helps we live in a small town, I also have confidence in my children. They have always followed the rules of staying in the car by themselves, if they didn't they wouldn't be able to. And am not living in fear of someone lurking around the cornor ready to snatch my kids or try and take my car with the kids in it, those situations are highly unlikely.

What is more likely is a busy body calling the cops. But I can't live my life in fear of that either so I do what I feel comfortable doing.


----------



## pattimomma (Jul 17, 2009)

My kids are 14 (almost 15), 11 (almost 12), 8 (almost 9), 5 and 1. If the oldest three are in the car too, then sure I leave them for a few minutes. If it's just the youngest two then I bring them in.


----------



## ilovemygirl (Sep 8, 2008)

I didn't realize how old this thread was ...


----------

