# My son is ten and sleeps in my bed



## Snowygirl (Jan 2, 2010)

Hi. My name is Patti and I'm new here. I was looking up "at what age is too old to co-sleep" on google and found this site.
Let me give you some history first. I "co-slept" with my son when he was a baby as it was easier to breast feed plus I worked full time so it was my "bonding time". Me and his dad were separated before he was born and divorced shortly after he was born. I was a single mom not pulling in a lot of income so most of everywhere we lived were one bedroom apartments. When he became 3 I found an affordable 2 bedroom apartment.
I tried all the tricks in the book to get him to sleep in his OWN bed. I got back together with his dad for a little while and we had him sleeping in his own bed(Well til he would wake up at 3:30 am and crawl in bed with us. I was usually up at this time getting ready for work most the time anyway.
One morning I got a call at work, apparently ex had left our son alone and gotten pulled over and arrested leaving our son ALONE!!!(He was pulled over for swerving all over the road).
Ever since then, my son refuses to sleep alone. Once in a great while I can get him to sleep in his own bed, but most the time I don't even feel like fighting it and let him sleep in my bed.
I see most of you have younger children on here. What I would like to know, is there any single parents on here that are in the same proverbial boat?
And how old is TOO old to "co-sleep"?
Thanks for reading!


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## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

How old is "too old"? If co-sleeping is still working for both the adult(s) and the child, I don't think there IS a "too old".

Our DD was still sleeping with us on a regular basis when she was 10. She still occasionally sleeps in the "big bed" (actually a king and a twin shoved together), especially if DH is out of town.

If it works for you and your child, that's what matters.


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

My older 2 slept w/ me alot whe we were going through my divorce from their dad. It was brought up in counceling. The only thing that my counceller mentioned was when boys get to a prepuberty stage they start getting erection and sometimes ( ok almost always) nocternal emissions. When they start in this phase of their development it can be very confusing to them to wake up next to their mom while physically arroused.

I did not kick my boys out of my bed during the times they needed me but I did that that into consideration. We transitioned slowly. Just something for you to think about.









My oldest is now 18 and its probably been 2 yrs since he showed up to lay down on my bed He used to be a migraine sufferer and if he woke up in the middle of the night he would come to laydown in my bed. Moms bed is default security







And I'd have to go get his medicine


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ann-Marita* 
How old is "too old"? If co-sleeping is still working for both the adult(s) and the child, I don't think there IS a "too old".

***

If it works for you and your child, that's what matters.

Ditto. My 5 1/2 yo dd has a bed next to ours and comes in our bed in the middle of the night. I wake up often to find my 8 yo ds with us too. We have a king size bed partly for that reason


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## jazzharmony (Nov 10, 2006)

I can't imagine that anyone could make a case for "too old to co-sleep". Partnered adults usually co-sleep







Look at cultures around the world. Family bed is completely normal and healthy. Americans are completely obsessed with (false) independence and focus on training from birth. There is no reason to follow that if the family bed is what works for your family. If it stops working for whatever reason, find a new arrangement that doesn't traumatize anyone.
Also, i'm certain that any therapist who has issues with it are bringing their own biases into play and that is highly unprofessional. I would switch therapists.


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ann-Marita* 
If co-sleeping is still working for both the adult(s) and the child, I don't think there IS a "too old".


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## almadianna (Jul 22, 2006)

It seems like there have been some emotionally taxing events in your child's life... so it is possible that he needs you. If it works for both of you, why not?

I was 16 years old and occassionally asked my mom to sleep next to me when I was going through tough times and she did. Parents are sources of comfort and that is the way that it should be.


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## Snowygirl (Jan 2, 2010)

Thanks for all the replies. It's just me, him and the dog. I had some friends giving me some static about it. Once in a while he will sleep in his own bed, but always ends up in mine. I figured he will sleep in his own bed all night when he's ready.


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

My DH slept with his parents until he was about 12-13... it wasn't every night but it was often and he had a space next to the bed on the floor (his little sister was in the bed with his parents) ... when he stopped it was his choice...

My boys still co-sleep most nights also (they start off in their own bed) and they are 7,5 and 3... we have recently put a small mattress next to the bed so that someone can sleep there because we have another one on the way and I need more space in the bed...

Oh, and a friend of mine co-slept with her mom until she was at least 15 and her mom got re-married... I always thought she was lucky because I wasn't allowed to cuddle my mom at night!


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## Sharon RN (Sep 6, 2006)

DS#1 is 10 and still co-sleeps occasionally- however, with the new baby, it made me nervous. We have all co-slept a few times, but DS#1 is _all over the place_ in bed. (LOL Now that I think about it, he always has been, but he's so big now that it makes a difference!) So, if DS#1 and DS#2 and I are all co-sleeping (DH works nights, when he's home, it's only DH, me, and the baby) I get like *zero* sleep.

I'm not opposed to still co-sleeping with DS#1, it's just physically uncomfortable for me because of the way he sleeps.

Although, he does say he likes sleeping with one of the dogs, too. I wonder what that says about me?!?!


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## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

Snowygirl, I have a theory that only children especially tend to stay in the family bed for more years than in other circumstances.

Some children find a new baby in the bed to be noisy, or too hot, and they move out of the family bed. Others have an older sibling to go sleep with, and move out of the family bed to sleep in a sibling bed, which eases the transition.

Again, if it works for you and your son, your friends' opinion is of no consequence.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

DD is 11 and "still" sleeps in our bed much of the time. As in, she didn't last night becasue she had a sleep over









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ann-Marita* 
Again, if it works for you and your son, your friends' opinion is of no consequence.











That said, depending on how close of a friend you are talking about, I would probably not share that info with them. My best friends know DD still is in our bed, but for friends who are not as close (or parents of her friends who i am friendly with) I assume DD would be embarrased for many people to know.


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## Snowygirl (Jan 2, 2010)

I think it mainly goes back to when his dad left him alone when he was 3. I know he probably woke up(Never fails, 3:00-3:30 am he always woke up to go to the bathroom and knew I left for work at that time. I'm retired/disabled and a SAHM now. So he KNOWS I'm always home and have NEVER left him alone. I mean other than dropping him off at school or a friends. He's spent the night at a friends house before. I thank everyone for their input. And here I thought I was the ONLY ONE who did this. We don't have a new baby or anything. He has his side of the bed and I have mine, the dog goes under the covers.
We have our own little ritual, bathroom, brush teeth, get our drinks(water for him, Pepsi for me), Animal planet or discovery on the TV. We have a body pillow between us. I use it mainly for my back. He pretty much stays in one spot all night. And as much as I hate to admit it, I LOVE the bonding! Before we zonk out, He'll tell me more about his day at school, things that happened, both good and bad. I guess it makes me feel closer. I know he's getting older and eventually won't want to "sleep in mom's bed".
I haven't really dated since my divorce. I don't want to be "one of those mom's" that seems to have a new flavor every other month







if you know what I mean. I'm glad I stumbled upon this site.
Thanks again everyone!!!


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## BrittneyMarie (Nov 11, 2009)

When my parents divorced I was 14-15 and ended up sleeping with my mom a lot. Before that we'd have 'sleepovers' whenever my dad worked out of town. I think it's completely normal. My mother and I are very close.


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## almadianna (Jul 22, 2006)

Lets please remember the rules of this forum when posting:

Quote:

The Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting Welcome to The Family Bed and Nighttime Parenting forum. This forum is intended to serve this advocacy and support and encourage parents in co-sleeping, even through the difficulties that arise. *When a parent posts here to discuss struggles with co-sleeping and asks for advice members should post with suggestions to ease problems and encouragement to support co-sleeping, not to advise against it. Posts of that nature are not appropriate.* If parents come to a decision that their child sleeps better in his or her own space, discussions here can be in support of how to best parent such a child at night in a nurturing way.


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## Kivgaen (Dec 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snowygirl* 
Thanks for all the replies. It's just me, him and the dog. I had some friends giving me some static about it. Once in a while he will sleep in his own bed, but always ends up in mine. I figured he will sleep in his own bed all night when he's ready.









If it still works for you and your family, then who am I, or anyone else for that matter, to say that there's anything wrong with that?

I am mildly concerned, however, with your statement above. I do not believe that DS will just suddenly say (with no help from you) that he's ready to sleep in his own bed now. If you are okay with that, then great! Enjoy the closeness of him sleeping next to you every night. But if your not okay with that idea... well, I don't need to finish that sentence.

Only you know what works for you. If it aint broke, don't fix it.


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kivgaen* 

I am mildly concerned, however, with your statement above. I do not believe that DS will just suddenly say (with no help from you) that he's ready to sleep in his own bed now.

I disagree... (kind of like some people saying that if you never wean a child they won't wean themselves) I am pretty certain that at 20 he will most likely have different habits... at 10 a child is still very much a child, and sharing sleep with a parent or someone you love has no age limit IMO...

If I look at my DH's example puberty is what made things different and the choice was all his...

Whatever the age though, if the arrangement works for both parties, then outside opinions just don't matter...


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## Kivgaen (Dec 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paxye* 
I disagree... (kind of like some people saying that if you never wean a child they won't wean themselves) I am pretty certain that at 20 he will most likely have different habits... at 10 a child is still very much a child, and sharing sleep with a parent or someone you love has no age limit IMO...

We probably disagree on that topic as well. I also nudged my child in that direction when I was no longer okay with BF. I suppose, yes, eventually, it will happen all on it's own. The question is, how long are we prepared to wait for them to make that choice?

I suppose the main point is that as long as she's okay with it still, then there really isn't any issue at all.


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kivgaen* 
We probably disagree on that topic as well. I also nudged my child in that direction when I was no longer okay with BF. I suppose, yes, eventually, it will happen all on it's own. The question is, how long are we prepared to wait for them to make that choice? .

Yes, we disagree on that, we practice child-led weaning so the answer is for us "as long as they need it, whatever age that is." I agree that for some nursing past 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 7 years is too much but that is again personal opinion and not based in any fact.

For us it is about respect and doing the best for the child based on research we have done and what come to us instinctively. (not saying that you might not think that your way is best too, but we have different opinions)


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## Kivgaen (Dec 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paxye* 
For us it is about respect and doing the best for the child based on research we have done and what come to us instinctively. (not saying that you might not think that your way is best too, but we have different opinions)

We actually agree on what is "ideal"... but the idea (to stop co-sleeping, or to stop breastfeeding) has to come from SOMEWHERE. Where does it come from? Does it come from mommy and daddy? does it come from DS or DD's peers? It doesn't just happen out-of-the-blue. Kids learn what they live, and if they are only exposed to sleeping in the same bed as mom and dad (or in this case, mom and dog), then how could they think to make a different choice? Some kids would never just come up with the idea on their own, the idea that it could be a different way has to be initiated somehow.

But regardless of the Ideal approach, the "Best" is for mommy and daddy and brother and sister to be happy. So all of the research in the world goes out the window when that is no longer the case.


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## morgainesmama (Sep 1, 2004)

My aunt was a single mother, and her daughter slept with her until well into her teens. If she (my aunt) had a boyfriend over, my cousin would sleep in her own room, but often I think my aunt would concurrently arrange a sleepover for her dd.

I thought it was kind of weird when I was in my 20s. Now, I have a 10yo (who seldom wants to sleep in my bed, because she hates sharing space with her younger brothers, but occasionally will ask if she can by herself.

My aunt passed away unexpectedly when my cousin was almost 18. I bet if she can look back in hindsight, she's grateful for that extra time they spent together.

At some point, it may not work for you or your son to cosleep. Relationships evolve and change. That said, I would not ever see telling my daughter she's too old to sleep beside me (or my sons) -- maybe that they're too big to fit in the bed; that they're too fidgety sometimes; too loud; whatever. But not too old.

I'm blessed to have a husband now who met my kids when they were 3, 5, and 7, and never had a problem with being squished into the corner of a queen sized bed when all the kids piled in. (Though we did upgrade to a king about the same time we got engaged, lol!)

I'm sorry for what happened to your son. It sounds like a kind of hurt difficult to let go of. He's lucky to have a loving mama to meet his needs. (Though the point about nocturnal emissions is a good one that I hadn't considered in my cosleeping thoughts -- we've still got some years to go!)


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## lookatreestar (Apr 14, 2008)

my hub slept with his aunt in the same bed for a long time after his uncle passed away. she was like his mom, raised him from a year old etc. when we go visit her we still sleep in the room with her (only a 2 room house, one for sleeping, the other is the kitchen) :]


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## gbutterflykissesm (Apr 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snowygirl* 
And as much as I hate to admit it, I LOVE the bonding! Before we zonk out, He'll tell me more about his day at school, things that happened, both good and bad. I guess it makes me feel closer.

I just want to say that this brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like such a nice way to bond with your 10 year old, especially when he may be reaching that age where he's so busy with his school and activities.


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## Snowygirl (Jan 2, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbutterflykissesm* 
I just want to say that this brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like such a nice way to bond with your 10 year old, especially when he may be reaching that age where he's so busy with his school and activities.

Aww Thanks. He just turned 11. I'm kind of gently "nudging" him into sleeping in his own bed. It's a hit or miss thing. I laid next to him in his bed tonight and when I got up to use the bathroom and check my e mail he woke up and asked if I was ok and when I was coming "back to bed".
I'm learning all sorts of new things about him. I know that sounds weird as it looks weird typed out right now. But there's so much going on with him and he's a really cool kid to talk to.

Thanks again everyone for all the kind words and advice. I don't feel so weird having my son "co-sleep" now. I always thought I was the only one who did this. I know he'll eventually "out grow" sleeping with mama, But I'm enjoying the time and bonding with him.


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## incorrigible (Jun 3, 2007)

I like to call the American parenting style "DEtachment Parenting" lol Don't worry about all those folks shutting their kids down then getting jealous of the loving relationship you have with yours. (I don't tend to catch flack for co-sleeping, or much else, but I imagine we can see why already, yes? lol)

Mine are 8 and 11, and we call our sleeping arrangements "Musical Beds." Right now, we only have 2 beds in the house because the 8 yr old has anxiety issues and WON'T sleep alone. *I*, on the other hand, am a bit of an introvert. Most of the time, I love co-sleeping with one or both kids, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming. I NEED to be alone! In that case, they'll sleep together and give me a night off. My 11yr old is hit or miss w the co-sleeping, though. He's hit an age where he feels like he SHOULD sleep alone, but doesn't really like to. We have both beds in one room, and that helps a lot. 50/50 his needs are fulfilled either sleeping in the same bed, or just the same room. Once a week or so, he moves out to the living room and regrets it. He wakes up in a foul mood. He says he "just feels so alone" like he's been abandoned or something. It ruins his whole day. (and everyone else's.)


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Snowygirl* 
And as much as I hate to admit it, I LOVE the bonding! Before we zonk out, He'll tell me more about his day at school, things that happened, both good and bad.

I was raised by my grandparents, and though I rarely admit it outside places like this site, she slept in my room until I kicked her out at 14. The only reason I didn't sleep in HER room was because my grandfather snored something fierce, they had twin beds, and she was more than happy to sleep in my larger bed and quieter room! My grandmother has long since passed, and at 40 years old the thing I still look back on with great fondness is the bedtime discussions. There was no phone, there were no chores in the way, I knew I had her full attention - and there weren't distractions for me either. I could talk to her about anything, and that was always the perfect time to do so!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kivgaen* 
We actually agree on what is "ideal"... but the idea (to stop co-sleeping, or to stop breastfeeding) has to come from SOMEWHERE. *Where does it come from? Does it come from mommy and daddy? does it come from DS or DD's peers? It doesn't just happen out-of-the-blue. Kids learn what they live, and if they are only exposed to sleeping in the same bed as mom and dad (or in this case, mom and dog), then how could they think to make a different choice?* Some kids would never just come up with the idea on their own, the idea that it could be a different way has to be initiated somehow.

But regardless of the Ideal approach, the "Best" is for mommy and daddy and brother and sister to be happy. So all of the research in the world goes out the window when that is no longer the case.

Do you think I didn't see how things were done when I visited friend's houses? Do you think that children's books never mention the kids own room, or that the media never shows parents sleeping in one room and kids in another? The idea of children and parents having different beds is so ingrained in our society that there's no way *not* to realize that's the norm. When I was 14, I began wanting to stay awake later than my grandmother and after a short time realized I was ready to sleep on my own. It completely _did_ happen out of the blue, instigated by me.

OP, when I was around 12-13 years old, Gram was actually getting mildly concerned about our arrangements (I think my aunt was giving her grief about it). Something like a week or two later, she read a letter in Dear Abby about the same thing. Abby's response was that after leaving the house, the child would most likely live in a college dorm with a roommate, then later live in an apartment with a roommate, then live with their spouse so it really wasn't a big deal. LOL she loved having that as backup ammo - Dear Abby said it was ok, so it was ok!

Right now our ds (7 yrs) starts off in his room and is in ours by 1-2am. DD ends up in our room most mornings around 4-5am. We did wedge a double stacked air mattress between the bed and wall as there just isn't enough space for 4 of us in bed, but I figure they'll leave my room when they feel they are ready. Oh yeah, and the aunt that was giving my grandmother grief? Her youngest still came to her room once in a while through his senior year in high school!


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## chimomma (Aug 1, 2008)

I once knew a woman from Singapore who had always slept with her mom until she was 25. The reason she stopped was because she left her country to come to USA and when her mom came to visit they still slept together. So there may not be a need to "grow out of it" if that is what is thought of as normal. As long as everyone is comfortable with it, parent and child. For me being married, I hardly want my almost 3 year old in bed most nights and I think it would probably be bad for my relationship (with husband and children)to have the kids in bed that long, for me. I think if it is causing the parent to feel uncomfortable or resentful I don't see a problem giving the nudge, nudge, sleep in your own bed now to a child. I think if they sense you are uncomfortable with something and do it anyways it does not help the parent child relationship. That's why I personally believe that things like co-sleeping and nursing don't have to be totally child lead, but need to exist in a place where both parties feel it is comfortable and healthy for them. I also think many times the child may have outgrown a true need for those things but continues out of habit and wouldn't be adversely affected if they transitioned away from it gently. Each case is different.


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

This is making me feel so much better. I have been not wondering if me sleeping with DS( almost 6) is ok, but just kind of annoyed by it. He still needs me to fall asleep with him, and basically he sleeps all night maybe gets up once in a while to pee. DD actually loves her bed (almost 4) but she's just always been that way. Even when nursing/baby/toddler she was "give me boob and let me be ." LOL.

My DS is so sensitive. HE looks out for mama, a GREAT big brother, very caring and always thinking of how to help people. I'm pretty sure he's not gonna be in highschool still wanting to sleep with me.

I remember climbing in to bed with my mom. Heck, as a teenager my dad traveling otu of town often and i'd sleep with my mom!!! We'd watch a movie or something, do homework or whatever and fall asleep, i loved it. No at 16 I didn't need to sleep with mom obviously, but we just never thought it was strange at all, it was like having a slumber party at that age.

DH works with ppl around the globe and has odd hour phone calls, so we have a strange sleep set up . We don't even sleep together because he is a night owl, sometimes works in the middle of the night for us, likle till 4am or something, then sleeps till noon. DD and I share the master closet, because I keep the other bed for DH in her room, she loves to sleep near daddy and sleeps later than me/DS. I'm sure things will shift, and we move things around as needed to accomodate everyone. but my kids are two of the most well adjusted happy well sleeping kids around!

It's good though, to be able to ask question here, and realize you are not the only one, YK?


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## Dr.Worm (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gbutterflykissesm* 
I just want to say that this brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like such a nice way to bond with your 10 year old, especially when he may be reaching that age where he's so busy with his school and activities.

Yeah, me too. My DD turned 10 this month and bedtime is the closest time for us because we also co-sleep. The after school/evenings are so busy with homework; wii; whatever so at night it's so nice to cuddle together. It is the same way with us, this is the time she tells me things about school or asks me questions or I tell her a story. Our culture wants us to detach from or kids as soon as possible and then we wonder why we're not close to our kids when they get to be teens. I don't know if you have heard of Dr.Sears but he is a big advocate of co-sleeping and says the best place for a family to sleep is where everyone is happy.


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## hakeber (Aug 3, 2005)

I still like sharing a bed with my mommy, if it weren't for the fact that I have my husband in my bed she would probably sleep with me when she comes to visit. When I was in labor with dd she curled up behind me in bed and massaged my lower back and I could have slept like a baby if it weren't for the contractions coming every 2 minutes.









I think we are wired to sleep WITH people, not alone.


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## jmmom (Sep 11, 2007)

I have a friend who sleeps with all of her sons - aged 12, 10, 6, and 3, I think - in one room with a bunch of beds pushed together. It's so incredibly sweet! She is in many ways a very mainstream mom - I agree with everyone who has said that sleeping with others is completely natural and good for those involved. I don't still sleep with my 3yo, but I hope that he and his little brother sleep together once they're in their own room in a few years - and in the meantime, he's at least in the room with us, and the dog keeps him company in his bed!

My mom died 8 years ago, and I can't imagine the gift that having co-slept with her would have been - such closeness, over so much time, especially given that we have so little time together with those we love. Like I once said to my dh, all the time in the universe isn't enough to spend with you. That's how I feel about my kids, too, and co-sleeping helps us spend the time that we do have together.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Haven't read all of the posts yet, so sorry in advance if I repeat anything that's already been said









Personal experience- *I* slept with my mom until I was 11! My parents divorced around that time, and I stayed with my dad, so I ended up in my own bed then, though I still shared a bed with my mom on our sleepover nights. Then years later, when I had my DS, we (mom, DS, & I) all shared a bed during sleepovers









My DS is almost 8, and he has a mattress in his room, and one in our room, so he can sleep where he chooses, and most of the time that ends up being with us. I like having him there. I like to be able to chat with him before bed, it when we have some of our best conversations.

Anyway, so many people don't like to sleep alone! It makes me sad that so many people are against co-sleeping, especially as kids get older. Friends often sleep with each other at sleepovers! Couples get to sleep with each other! You don't boot your spouse out of your bed after 2 years of marriage or whatever, why boot your kid out at a certain age?

Why on earth should it be an issue to sleep with a child you gave birth to?

My opinion is that as long as everyone in the family bed/room is ok with the setup, then it's all good!


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## tuhraycee (Dec 3, 2004)

This thread is just what I needed to read.







My DS is going to be 6 this month and I love having him still sleep with us. He does still need us to lay with him to go to sleep (which is vexing sometimes - especially when Lost is on







) but most nights it's ok because we'll read books then I'll read a book of my own while he's dozing off.

Dh has complained that DS kicks him in his sleep however, so I hope that doesn't cause problems... I love cuddling up to DS at night and would feel so lonely without him. (No offense, Dh!)


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *425lisamarie* 
I remember climbing in to bed with my mom. Heck, as a teenager my dad traveling otu of town often and i'd sleep with my mom!!! We'd watch a movie or something, do homework or whatever and fall asleep, i loved it. No at 16 I didn't need to sleep with mom obviously, but we just never thought it was strange at all, it was like having a slumber party at that age.

Yep!









My brother and I took turns sleeping with mom when dad was out of town until I was about 14 and he was 12 or so. Before DD arrived, when Huz would travel, my mom would come visit and she would always sleep with me. I'm not sure if she would want to sleep with me _and_ DD though. That's funny, I'd have to ask her! We are 53, 28, and 1.


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## ASusan (Jun 6, 2006)

1. I slept with my mom whenever dad was out of town, well into adolescence.

2. DH's nephew slept with his grandmother whenever he was at her house - which was almost every weekend, school break, and all summer long - until he went to college last year. DH is not from the US. In his culture, children sleep with adults.

3. I once dated someone (American) who slept with his mother until he was at least 12. He was a totally normal, well-adjusted and functioning adult in his 30s.


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

I slept in the bed with my mom until I moved out with my now husband LOL. I dont' see anything wrong with it.


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## BedHead (Mar 8, 2007)

DD16 slept with me for a loooong time - well into preteen years, and even after that she would sleep on the floor right beside my bed till only about a year ago. She did finally end it on her own. Hubby tried to say something to me once about the 'sanctity of the marriage bed' or some such nonsense but I let him know that since she slept with me when I was a single mom and she was tiny, I wasn't going to deny that to her just because she was older. Once hubby and I got together, she spent a couple of years on a youth bed sleeping right beside her brothers, and if she came into my room crawled right in beside me so I was in the middle. Then once she got her own room she was on her own by her choice some of the time, but she was always welcome to come in with me.

I would sleep with my boys now if they wanted to. One is 18 and one is 20. They do come and lay down and snuggle periodically, but they always make sure they have their own covers and I have mine









My mom still talks about how horrible it was that her little brother slept with his mom till he was 9, and that she thinks it was an obscene thing to do. He was the baby of nine kids and my grandma and grampa were split up, and he slept with her. Apparently my mom was totally scandalized. I think it was totally sweet and has a lot to do with the loving 50 something year old man he is today.


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## WinterPearl (Aug 29, 2009)

When I was 17 I was in a foster home where in the morning I'd almost always see the 14yr and 12yr old bio sons plus the 9yr bio daughter along with the 3yr foster daughter all in the parents room, some on the floor depending on who kicked who out of the bed first lol, the foster baby had a bassinet right next to the bed too, I thought it was the sweetest thing.


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## yokosmile (Apr 22, 2007)

Quote:

at 10 a child is still very much a child, and sharing sleep with a parent or someone you love has no age limit IMO...
Absolutely! : )

And if anyone tells you differently, they're just full of crap really. Enjoy your son!


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## Tuesday (Mar 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jmmom* 
_My mom died 8 years ago, and I can't imagine the gift that having co-slept with her would have been - such closeness, over so much time, especially given that we have so little time together with those we love. Like I once said to my dh, all the time in the universe isn't enough to spend with you. That's how I feel about my kids, too, and co-sleeping helps us spend the time that we do have together_.

This thread is brilliant and your quote above, Jmmom, makes me feel teary!









I'm glad I can read such wonderful posts - thank you everyone.

My 4 year old is still sleeping with me (yes, you read that right - FOUR YEAR OLD) and my child less best girl friend thinks that is, "WRONG WRONG WRONG" to quote her actual words. I should show her this website. lol.


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

If somebody said to me "don't you think s/he's too old?" I'd say, "Exactly what are you implying?"









Three out of my four children still sleep in my room with me. Two of them, eight and five years old, sleep on either side of me, and the other, eleven years old, sleeps in a bed next to ours. Up until recently (when he started staying up later than me) the eleven-year-old still liked to cuddle before going to sleep. I have no doubt he'd still be sleeping in my bed if there was room. Seriously, they're _children_, and I'm their mother. I'm supposed to tell them that they can't be comforted by my physical presence any longer just because they're no longer babies? Whatever! I feel sorry for the kids whose parents push them away before they're ready.


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## TulsiLeaf (Nov 23, 2009)

I am 30 and when I had to go over to my mum's house early early in the morning so i could borrow her car to take my kid to school my daughter, myself and her would all bunk in in her bed.

When my nan comes over, we see how many of us we can fit into the bed.


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