# Kids killing bugs-rite of passage or not?



## Cukup (Jul 31, 2009)

DS is 8, and came to me today upset about another kid at school who pulled apart a bug in front of him. DS was very upset at this other kid hurting something innocent. I told him that I thought deliberately hurting the bug was a bad thing for the other kid to have done.

Is bug killing an 'acceptable' phase to go through as a kid?


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## treeoflife3 (Nov 14, 2008)

I don't think it is. My husband was going to kill some bugs in front of kiddo (they WERE in the house) and I had to explain that teaching her to get enjoyment out of killing things, no matter how small, just didn't seem to make ANY sense especially when we talk to her a lot about being gentle.

I don't condone the purposeful act of killing something for entertainment or enjoyment. I'll kill bugs that get into the house that I can't get out (mostly spiders because I can NOT handle being near them alive) but its not something I like to do and I want to teach kiddo that if we do kill things, it should always be with the understanding that we ARE ending a life, no matter what our reasoning might be.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Bugs are a gray area for me. I think most humans have killed a bug or two ... even if we didn't mean to. I'm a catch and re-locate lady myself but sometimes.. a little too much force kills the bug, YKWIM?

Now hurting mammals is a sign of sociopathy... no kidding.

http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Cruelty_to_animals

Wish I could help more. Give your son a big hug.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Ugh, sorry your son had to witness that. I do think there is a lot of ambivalence in this world concerning the respect bugs should receive (I certainly feel some of it myself, though I would never do what that boy did, and people certainly spend a lot of time and expend a lot of energy killing them), and that *small* children do have a tendency to play with bugs (until they learn otherwise). If no one ever tells them not to, or reminds them that bugs are living, too, then yes, some children are naturally going to get to the age of 8 and beyond not really thinking anything of it.

So, to answer your question: I think that humans have a complicated relationship with insects. Even many of us who don't like killing them (because they are living creatures), have occasionally (or frequently) killed them, and there are many, many people who don't give it a second thought. This anecdote speaks volumes to me about the gorgeous sensitivity of your son's soul, but I can't say anything about the other child because to some people, a bug is just a bug. Ya know?


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Quote:

Is bug killing an 'acceptable' phase to go through as a kid?
No, I don't find it acceptable in most cases. I say most cases because I do find it acceptable to kill say, a poisonous spider that poses a real threat to people, but beyond that, it really irks me.

Too many people carry the "it's just a bug!" kind of mentality and they won't even blink an eye when their kid kills a bug for no good reason. I don't blame the child for it though. It's a parent's job to teach their children to be kind to all creatures whenever possible.

Now I'm not talking about making sure you never step on an ant or crush a bug because you used to much force... Sometimes things like that can't be avoided. But indiscriminately killing anything is not ok in my book, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant that creature may seem.

ETA: My son is 8 and never went through a bug killing phase, as I stressed this very issue when he was young. He gets very upset when he sees other children killing bugs for fun, or when they're killed simply because they are there


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

yes it is.

however doing that at 8 is a big no no. doing it at 4 or 5 - it IS a rite of passage. my bro used to chase lizards and then happily watch them flee leaving their tail behind. he accidentally killed a few lizards and frogs.

i know for many kids that's a first exploration with death. also if they find that their mom kills every cockroach or spider they see, why cant they kill bugs either.


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## WindyCityMom (Aug 17, 2009)

I kinda agree w/ meemee.

My 2yo has started this because DHs cousins kids who live in our building & the neighbor kids do it. I have caught her on quite a few occasions saying "Kill it!! Kill it!!", which I find disturbing. I really dont know how to address it though.


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## Learning_Mum (Jan 5, 2007)

I don't know, I find it quite disturbing that he was pulling it apart. I don't think torturing anything is OK, even if it is a bug. DS1 went through a stage at about 4yo where he found it fun to kill bugs, but it was always quickly, never slowly and cruelly. I told him it was not cool to kill things for fun.


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## carfreemama (Jun 13, 2007)

No, I've never been okay with this. I've taught dd from the very beginning to be very gentle with bugs, because they're so small and easily hurt. We've spent a lot of time together getting ants and spiders to crawl on paper to take them outside and put them somewhere safe. I've probably made her a little TOO sensitive if she accidentally hurts one. But I've never made the distinction with her that it's "just" a bug. It wasn't even intentional for me. I just can't stand seeing things hurt. I remember once watching a neighbour instruct his daughter to "kill it." "It" was a spider that was OUTSIDE crawling away. He said he was trying to "empower her" to get over her fear of spiders.







I was appalled.

Which is all very hypocritical of me, since I eat meat. Yes, it's the local "humanely raised" stuff; but I have huge conflicts within myself about the the message I'm sending. It's probably what lots of other pp have said, there's a complicated relationship between humans and bugs. I guess it's just the overall respect I'm trying to get across.

I'd probably ask your son how well he knows the other kid and whether he thinks the other kid is a kind person generally.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Yes and no....I think for this 8 year old it is on the older realms of norm of not having conscious about.

8 year olds are not know of impulse control. So even though this is bullying behavior and disturbing I would not worry for this other child much being the next psychopath.

I would discourage my child from playing with him unless in closer supervision.

At that age, I could see my son doing bug killing then feeling bad about it later, in bed, requiring a cry, and a mama snuggle.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Yeah, I'd go with it is. I worked with a lot of kids around that age at camp and killing bugs was definetly something that some of them just did. They were otherwise perfectly god kids... but they liked to kill bugs







When I was that age (and for years... probably till I was 13 or so... and tbh, I'd still do it for the right price







) I ate daddy long leg's... you just have to smell'm first an make sure they don't smell like oil - then they taste nasty







Then pull off their legs and eat'm


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

I don't know.

We get sooo many bugs in our house. I don't know why, and it drives me nuts, but we can't possibly catch & relocate all of them, and I'm really squeamish around them these days. So DH & DS kill them. But we have a strict rule about ONLY killing bugs in the house. (DS is only 19 mos BTW). We've always explained that you can't kill bugs outside because that is their home. I don't like teaching him that it's OK to kill anything anywhere though, so I struggle with this a bit, & will be glad when we have fewer bugs in a couple months when we head into winter (because then I just don't have to deal with my conscience?)

I would be very disturbed by a kid getting enjoyment from deliberately pulling apart a bug. I'm sure most kids do it at some point (for some reason I remember squishing worms as a kid) but I wouldn't encourage it, though I imagine in many cases it's just about interest rather than the killing. So if it's done more in the spirit of learning by dissection, I'd consider it 'normal', but if it's done for the purpose of killing something, that's a big issue IMO.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

you know i think we are making an assumption that that kind was deliberately 'enjoying' pulling apart a bug. i can see someone doing it out of curiosity. a sensitive child might have been upset seeing it, even by a mom stepping on a bug.

like my dd asked me when i was clearing cobwebs what right did i have to destroy someone else's home.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

Depends on where and what type of bug.

Bug in the house (like the bleepin' ants that have moved in here) yes, kill it. Then flush it.

Outdoors and just minding it's own business? Leave it alone.

Housefly that's been sitting on the poopy diaper garbage bag because it's 90 degrees out and we only have garbage pick up twice a month







? Kill it. Please.

Cutworm they find in my garden? Kill it. Same with the slugs.

Spiders around our porch? Leave them be, they eat flies.

I've never seen or heard of my kids killing bugs just to be cruel (think ant + magnifying glass) , they mostly just leave them be, with the exception of the slugs and cutworms, they actually hunt around in the garden to find and get rid of those. But it's not to be cruel, it's simply because those bugs destroy the garden that we've worked so hard on.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "acceptable", OP. My two cents...

When I was a kid, we had some family friends who killed bugs "for fun". They were pretty gross about it, imo, and it bothered me even when we were kids. They kept it up until they were about 9 or 10 or thereabouts. I knew lots of other kids who killed bugs, and I used to kill ants when I was about 7 or 8, although it was a few years later when I realized that what I was doing actually _killed_ them. The people I knew who did that have all grown up into perfectly normal adults, with varying degrees of empathy (some of them _very_ sensitive to other's feelings, others more in the middle range, and a couple who seem oblivious much of the time), but none of them are cruel, yk?

Some kids just do this, I think. They seem to have trouble grasping that bugs are living things. That said, I've certainly killed a lot of bugs as an adult, for one reason or another. I don't cultivate a full on "it's just a bug" mindset, and wouldn't (don't - ds2 sometimes crushes bugs for no reason) tolerate/support going around pullling them apart or killing them for fun. I think it's a bit messed up...but I also think it falls well within norms for kids developing their empathy, and can continue to an age that seems quite old for it (at least from the outside, to us, as adults) without being a sign of anything troubling about the person's eventual character.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

My incredibly sensitive, gentle cousins once used a friend's insulin syringes (whole other problem there) to inject salt water into slugs. I'm not sure if their vegetarian mother ever found out but they talked about their little experiment a lot.

Who knows why the heck they thought that would be a good idea but they are certainly not sociopaths and have grown up to be very kind, happy, successful adults who would never kill anything just for fun. They were just kids, that's all.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Killing/torturing insects seems to be acceptable for many families.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WindyCityMom* 
My 2yo has started this because DHs cousins kids who live in our building & the neighbor kids do it. I have caught her on quite a few occasions saying "Kill it!! Kill it!!", which I find disturbing. I really dont know how to address it though.

I simply always said, "our family doesn't do that." we talked about the positive benifits of bugs and I relocate them outside the house. We've never had an ant or termite infestation but I would probably feel differently about that. I also have no problem killing bugs that are actively harming a person (mosquitos & bees who are stinging). In the woods, though, we really emphasize that that is THEIR home we are invading so it is your responsibility to move away.


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

No. I don't think it's a rite of passage. I think it's something some children do before they develop a more mature compassion reflex. I think it also depends on the parents, and their philosophies on life.

We don't kill anything, unless we're going to consume it (fish). Then it becomes a 'cycle of life' thing. Also, if our bodies are threatened (mosquitoes, poisonous things biting us) then yes, we kill. DH is usually the one to entrap and free wandering insects from our house.

We're also karmically based and Buddhist in our thinking, and killing/torturing something is just not on the radar. FWIW I have two DCs, 5 and 7, and neither have ever killed something on purpose. They usually stop their friends from doing it. DD stopped her friends from tearing apart a small tree the other day. Life is life, no matter how small.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I used to pull the legs of of daddy long legs. I am not a sociopath. Some people just don't care about bugs and don't mind killing them. Then add 8 year old boy in the mix and the gross out factor for pulling apart a bug with your own hands is very high. and when your 8 gross and cool really go hand and hand. The boys laugh, the girls squeal. Most people probably don't think anything of killing a bug so why would they care about picking it apart leg by leg?.


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## neetling (Jan 24, 2006)

I don't think it's a rite of passage. I talk to the kids about killing innocent bugs. How would they like it if something 10 gajillion times their size just decided that they weren't allowed to live anymore?

But I'm also a total hypocrite because I kill bugs that come into the house (not all spiders or moths) but flies and mosquitoes etc. (and mice - we've had one recently and it's got to go)


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## Ornery (May 21, 2007)

I think for some people they just don't think that way about bugs. They don't associate feelings with them. My DH grew up tying katydids (not sure what their real name is) to his bike and racing as fast as he could until they no longer flew (dead), then he cut the string and tied a new one on. I was horrified when I heard this but apparently, his mom had taught him it and it was actually a pretty treasured childhood memory for him.

As an adult, he rarely kills a bug, usually preferring to take them outside.


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

I don't find killing other beings acceptable at all. (Well, self-defense and survival aside). I teach DS to watch and interact with bugs without killing them. He knows to stay away from bees and other harmful insects as well.

He has a tarantula in his bedroom and I'm the person that will catch a bee, fly, or spider to put it outside instead of squashing it. We're big fans of bugs around here


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

We are respectful of bugs in our home and DS is very sensitive towards bugs. Just yesterday I had a full cart of groceries and DS spotted a cricket in the store. We had to catch it and take it all the way outside so no one would step on him. It was raining, I'm very pregnant, but it was important to DS to help this bug.

I do not think it is an acceptable rite of passage to kill anything for fun or shock or whatever. It is okay to protect yourself and spray the poisonous spider in the garage, or do something about the wasps nest growing under the porch. It is normal to not want your family to get sick or injured. But pulling a bug apart for kicks is disgusting.


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## Cukup (Jul 31, 2009)

Thanks all.

We get spiders in the bath tub and I rinse them down the drain, and I will kill flies and cockroaches inside the house too.

DS was upset because the other 8 y.o pulled the bug apart for no reason, other than it was there.

StormBride, 'acceptable'--I guess I mean is it normal at that age?


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cukup* 
I guess I mean is it normal at that age?

I think it's within the realm of normal, yes. I mean, I don't think it's necessarily a sign of sociopathy or anything for an 8yo to kill a bug. I killed bugs when I was a kid (maybe up to age 5 or 6), and yet simultaneously was (and am) very caring, kind, empathetic, etc. -- I don't really know why there was such a disconnect when it came to bugs.

I teach my own kids to be gentle with all living creatures, including bugs, but I remember conducting experiments with bugs -- I would bury beetles with dirt over and over to see how many times it took before they wouldn't dig themselves out. That makes me sad to think about now, but at the time it really was just innocent curiosity and there was no evil plotting behind it, or really any thought about the fact that when they didn't dig themselves out it meant they were dead.


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## Ravensong13 (Sep 28, 2009)

I think it depends on how you view life. I know a lot of families ( at least in our neighborhood) don't really care about bugs and will squash and kill them in front of their kids. We are teaching dd that all life deserves respect and that if something is not outwardly hurting you, you leave it alone. I've asked other people to refrain from killing bugs in front of dd, but as far as what people do with their own kids I leave it alone. I personally don't understand taking joy in killing things. I think it is one thing to be very little and not understand what happens when you step on an ant, but a whole other thing to be older and pulling a bug apart for fun.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
I used to pull the legs of of daddy long legs. I am not a sociopath. Some people just don't care about bugs and don't mind killing them. Then add 8 year old boy in the mix and the gross out factor for pulling apart a bug with your own hands is very high. and when your 8 gross and cool really go hand and hand. The boys laugh, the girls squeal. Most people probably don't think anything of killing a bug so why would they care about picking it apart leg by leg?.









I guess I don't see the big deal.


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka* 
Most people probably don't think anything of killing a bug so why would they care about picking it apart leg by leg?.


Killing something, squashing it, is a pretty quick death.

Pulling apart something leg by leg = torture.








It makes me nauseous to think about. Especially the story about mom teaching the son to tie katydids to the bike.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I'm with lilyka. I can't bring myself to care about insects, particularly if they're in my house. While I don't want to watch the kid disassemble a bug, I squish them when they're indoors and don't mind if my children do the same.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cukup* 
StormBride, 'acceptable'--I guess I mean is it normal at that age?


Then, I'd say "yes". I've certainly known children (dd1, for example) who would never kill a bug. But, lots and lots of children do. Most of the kids I've known had probably outgrown it by about age 10, but I think there were still quite a few doing it at 8 when I was a kid. As I said, they've grown up to be pretty normal people, with a wide variety of levels of empathy, but nobody who is totally lacking in it. (And, honestly, I think ds2 tends to be somewhat more empathetic than dd1, overall. But, dd1 wouldn't even consider hurting a bug, and is horrified that some of our neighbours kill snails - as garden pests - while ds2 is the type who will gleefully tromp all over the bugs. So...I don't know why there's a disconnect, either, but there definitely seems to be one.)


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
I'm with lilyka. I can't bring myself to care about insects...

This is a question out of total ignorance and curiosity: how come?

I was brought up with the whole karmic thing, but I'm taking that out of the equation for obvious reasons (not want to start a religious/spiritual discussion) but...my other reasoning is that animals...all animals, bugs included...have nervous systems and feel pain. Death to an insect would likely hurt as much as death to a human...and for pleasure rather than use? (ie. food, clothing, protection from bites and poison) I can't wrap my head around it...can you shed some light? Is it a learned thing (ie. my mom does it so I'm desensitized kind of thing..)


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cascadian* 
This is a question out of total ignorance and curiosity: how come?

I was brought up with the whole karmic thing, but I'm taking that out of the equation for obvious reasons (not want to start a religious/spiritual discussion) but...my other reasoning is that animals...all animals, bugs included...have nervous systems and feel pain. Death to an insect would likely hurt as much as death to a human...and for pleasure rather than use? (ie. food, clothing, protection from bites and poison) I can't wrap my head around it...can you shed some light? Is it a learned thing (ie. my mom does it so I'm desensitized kind of thing..)

My parents always killed bugs if they were in the house. So it was just *normal*, just what we did. I do remember once crying because they killed a cricket... and also going through phases where I insisted we trap the bugs in a cup & bring them outside. I've always had a lot of conflicting feelings on killing bugs inside your home (I don't think it's OK to kill them outside unless they're biting you). I have had a colony of ants, for example, set up shop on my bathroom floor, and a fruit-fly infestation near our compost bucket, and dozens of moths & flies make their way into our bedroom at once -- capturing & releasing that many bugs just was beyond what I was willing to do. (Now why we get so many bugs, I don't know!!) I think in some ways, killing bugs in the house IS about protection, even if they aren't actually biting you or anything. For my family's health & safety, we can't just have bugs overrun our house. I *could* catch & release them, but I have my hands full as it is, for me that's just not realistic. So... that's my story. For me it's not that I don't care about bugs, but more that I don't want bugs in my house & I don't care about them ENOUGH to go through that much trouble.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cascadian* 
but...my other reasoning is that animals...all animals, bugs included...have nervous systems and feel pain. Death to an insect would likely hurt as much as death to a human...

Actually, insects' nervous systems are very different from ours, and I think it's unlikely that they feel pain or suffer in any way. If an insect is injured, it doesn't try to protect or avoid using the injured part the way a mammal would. It certainly doesn't show signs of suffering due to its injury. (If you want more in-depth discussion of the subject, including some opposing views, Google "do insects feel pain.")


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## SubliminalDarkness (Sep 9, 2009)

I wouldn't be ok with my kids doing it.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Bugs inside our house = OK to quickly kill, unless it's a bug we can easily and safely capture and release outside.

Bugs outside = off limits to touch, it's their house and we leave them be and look only.


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## lkmiscnet (Jan 12, 2009)

I catch big bugs/mice in our house and let them go and I've been a vegetarian for 20 years due to my love of animals.

The tricky part is there are some bugs in the house that you just can't easily catch. Fruit flies are one that I do swat at, especially if they are zipping past our food while eating. And what do you do about mosquitos who are biting you? It's hard not to slap your itching skin while under attach.

Spiders, crickets, beetles, moths, etc... I do catch and release.

I do rememember killing bugs as a child and now that I have a DS of my own, I plan to teach him a respect for all living things, though again, there are varying degrees of that due to necessity I think.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

mmmm....quick kill in the house, I have no problem with. And if my kid would rather stomp the invading ants, I'll leave him to it. He's good at it. Faster than me.









Anything that messes with our food is liable to face the consequences.

Outside, we leave bugs alone. And I do not allow torture, physical pulling apart of critters, and that kind of stuff. I once killed a slug with salt, and still feel horrible about it. I regretted it the moment I did so, because it was pure curiosity and totally unnecessary.


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## tooraloora (Oct 15, 2010)

I've been told that I am a tree hugger, but I do not support PETA. They strike me as extremists, and I do not see the world so black and white. However, I still don't believe in killing other living creatures if it's avoidable, and I also avoid most animal products. I also believe that there are times that killing another creature may be necessary. If hares are destroying your crops, clearly something has to be done. I don't believe a family must starve so that other creatures might live. I may very well be a tree hugger, but that does not mean that I'm brainwashed, nor does it mean that I am judgmental. I try my best to do what I feel is right, and I lead my children the same way. I do not expect everyone to have the same views as me, and I will not condemn someone (or insist they've been brainwashed by an extremist organization) if their views differ from my own.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

When I was a child we lived on several acres outside of town. We all had bb guns and enjoyed shooting them. The one thing my mother was clear about was we were NEVER to shoot an animal. We had no right to take their lives for our enjoyment. Heck, one of my brother's shot another brother (in the stomach) and that was reacted to with less anger than attacking an innocent animal.

I have no problem with people who choose to hunt animals for their fur and/or meat. I have a problem with people who take lives simply because they can. Who have no concept that animals have existences outside of their uses to humans.

And you know what, I salted slugs as a kid. We had them all over the place and that was just how we got rid of them. My dad put out gopher traps and killed gophers/moles all the time. It was gross to me, but not wrong (as an adult, I've never had a gopher or mole to deal with and am actually interested if I would be bothered by the mounds *in my yard* or if I would just figure it's their home--- I know I don't try to stop rabbits from eating my plants). I never did any other animal/bug/bird killing (though I also licked a slug once, lol) but I'm certainly not proud of salting the slugs I did. When you know better, you do better. And I am raising my children to have respect for life and realize that other creatures have the right to existence as well.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I also wanted to add: for the OP. I think that many otherwise normal, compassionate, caring individuals go through a time period where they harass or kill "animals." It is not necessarily a problem (though, I think if you're killing, especially if it includes torture or *secrecy *(so hunting wouldn't fall into this category) mammals you should consider that there may be a problem.

I just don't think that torturing or killing animals is a *necessary* developmental step. You can definately discourage your children away from animal abuse from a young age and it is fairly easy for them to pick up that belief like any other you would teach them. Neither of my kids have ever hurt an animal that I know of--- though DS has chased a few birds (I'm fine with chasing birds *away* if they are bothering you--- trying to steal your food, pecking at your things, but some kids throw rocks and just bother the heck out of them which I'm not okay with).


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

obviously way different than the rest of us. You can attack or you can understand. I don't allow harming of animals because where I'm at there is no reason for it. If my dogs take out a bird or a opossum then so be it. I will not allow my kids to kill animals or bugs because there is no need to do so. If there was a need then maybe that would have to be something we did. Living in the suburbs... no need.

Quote:


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

I think we get it, you're from a different place. That means some of us are from a different place... which means we all think differently. If you feel it's fine to do what you do, and we feel it's fine to think how we think... calling us names is "shutting" US up. Kill all the pests you want, by all means enjoy it. I'll continue not killing things, because I don't want to and because there is no reason for me to do so. That does not mean you get to call me a name you have tried to make derogatory.

Quote:


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I have removed several posts. Most of them were by one poster who has been banned. I also removed posts that were only referring to those posts.

If you have posts remaining that quote those posts (but also have additional information relevant to the discussion) I would appreciated it if you removed the quoted material, leaving your own opinions and ideas.

Thank you very much for your contributions to MDC. As always, feel free to PM me with any questions of concerns.

Sincerely,

TiredX2

MDC Moderator of Parenting, Activism and News & Current Events


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## Ohhedgehogs (Dec 27, 2011)

I as a 23 year old adult have (on more than one occasion) reprimanded the boys I baby sit, 4 and 8, for killing to bug to go "LOOK I KILLED IT! ITS DEAD!" because that is NOT okay with me. I explained that they can feel pain, and that hurt them... but that is my 2cents

Edit: But I also dont understand hunting.... If I had to hunt to eat, i'd never eat meat


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

"I can't bring myself to care about insects" - well, this is soooo weird to me, but I get that everyone is coming from a different place.

We do not kill bugs. Period. We live with a large spider population in our home and go out of our way to maintain their habitat and leave them completely undisturbed. The spiders are not to be feared, have no interest in messing with us...and keep the house pretty much completely free of other critters...flies, etc.

We do kill rabbits and chickens and fish and help other people with the slaughter of larger animals. My DD has helped with this on many occasions. She understands that there is a huge difference between us breeding and killing rabbits for food...and stomping a bug just because you can.

We take life very seriously here. We raise and kill as much of our own food as we can, because we find it unbearable to eat the flesh of animals that were raised or slaughtered inhumanely and, really, even if an animal was kept very well...it feels "icky" for me to eat an animal that was killed by someone else. In killing and butchering the animal myself, I feel I am taking responsibility for the death of the creature and know that the creature was properly honored.

My DD takes life very, very seriously. When she finds a dead bug or newt or if we lose a chicken to a dog, etc....she INSISTS upon burying the lost soul and saying nice words over it's little grave.

So....maybe it's normal for some kids to squash bugs. I remember seeing this (and hating it) as a kid. But in this household....while other kids are pulling daddy long legs apart and laughing....my daughter is digging little holes in the ground and burying them in little matchboxs...and speaking words like "I bet you were really good at catching things. I hope you have good dreams when you sleep. I love you" - and yeah, I'm gonna be proud about that as much as I want to...because it IS better to raise our children to be compassionate, to take life seriously and to hold each and every living thing as important, precious and as a part of a larger circle of life that encompasses us all.

Kids know what parents teach. I teach love. I teach responsibility. Senseless killing doesn't have a place in my home....whether we're talking about civilian casualties in a war zone or a bug crawling on the floor...it pisses me off and I don't appreciate hearing other parents thinking it's not a big deal...because, in MY mind, the kid who grows up thinking it's perfectly okay not to care about bugs...is more LIKELY to grow up to be a man or woman who doesn't flinch when the news man drones on about "this or that number of civilians died in Iraq today as US troops stormed so-and-so village".

If you have eight legs or walk upright on two or are a hairy little rabbit...you are born of the same energy into this world and have certain rights.

If I found out that a kid of mine was on the playground and was pulling apart a bug by it's legs while laughing....there would be such an intense conversation about that and a very, very intense series of ongoing discussions coupled with a deeper walk into lessons surrounding the importance of life and respecting the rights of creatures living on this earth.

Sorry for the rant, but I tend to be a "slippery slope" type of gal. I don't expect a child, taught to disrespect "small" forms of life....to grow up with a TRUE and fundamental respect for "larger" forms of life.


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