# Are breasts sexual or have we just sexualized them?



## laneylue

The recent controversy over the cover picture of the nursing baby and the public's disapproval got me thinking....

I touched on this a bit on another birth board that I use, but I was wanting more opinions as I have not researched this issue on my own.

I asked if remote Tribespeople find breasts sexual and someone (hi!) said that she saw/read something where a tribeslady found it strange that American men suck on a breast like a baby.

Many of my female friends argue that breasts _are_ sexual because they are an errogenous zone. But that just made me wonder even more. I know that both women and men find women's breasts sexual, I just can't think of any biological reason that breasts would need to be sexually stimulated. I mean, aren't the neck, ears, and even feet errogenous zones for some people?

That got me wondering if it isn't just hundreds of years of mental conditioning that the breasts are sexual which makes them "feel" more sexual to us. Almost like it's a turn-on because it's "naughty" for them to stimulated.

I mean, men's breasts aren't typically thought of as sexual. Most men I know don't really get anything out of them being stimulated. Do women's nipples have more nerve endings and maybe that's why? If that's the case, our fingertips should be sexual, too. Is there a distinction between feeling good and feeling sexual when it comes to breasts? Sort of like a foot rub feels good to me, but it certainly doesn't feel sexual.

I'm not trying to be perverse or sexually explicit, I really am just curious as to whether or not biologically breasts are even sexual at all or if we are just conditioned to believe that they are and that's why they "feel" sexual to us.


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## wonderwahine

i think the western society has definatly sexualized the breast, i mean, we dont get mad when someone shows their tummy (another erogonous zone) or their feet, but breasts are taboo.

im not saying that we should all run around topless either


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## ~member~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laneylue*
I asked if remote Tribespeople find breasts sexual and someone (hi!) said that she saw/read something where a tribeslady found it strange that American men suck on a breast like a baby.

In my Tribe, that is true. Breasts are just a way of seeing a female without looking up her skirt.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *laneylue*
I mean, men's breasts aren't typically thought of as sexual. Most men I know don't really get anything out of them being stimulated.

I think you will find that most men are taught _not_ to feel the stimulation. Also, in most intact men, they do get extremely excited when their nipples are stimulated.


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## wonderwahine

this might be TMI but on the male stimulation at the nipples..........dh is sensitive to it, and if you tickle ds in that area.......you get mucho giggles. I think MITB is right that they are taught not to feel it.


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## tracyhos

My DH and I were just having a conversation about this the other day. I hadn't seen the magazine cover that has gotten every one in such a tizzy. DH found an article on cnn.com about it, and I got to see it. ( here is link, if anyone'e interested :http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/07/27/nur....ap/index.html)

So anyways, I guess I just don't get it, in a society that is pretty sexual in every other way--- why is seeing a baby do something so natural deemed so weird??? I mean, biologically that is why women have breasts, not just non-functioning (meaning non-lactating) nipples like men do.


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## Lara vanAEsir

Quote:

I really am just curious as to whether or not biologically breasts are even sexual at all or if we are just conditioned to believe that they are and that's why they "feel" sexual to us.
Human breasts are different from every other animal's in that they are large even when we are not breastfeeding. When humans began walking upright, the typical area males were attracted to, the butt, was no longer a predominant as before. The breasts developed to attract males, and not leave this large torso area on a woman to be unsexual.

There is also the fact that the shape of the breasts often reflect the fertility of the woman. Progesterone causes the breasts to become rounded, and progesterone is something some infertile women lack.

The problem today is the failure to see that everything on the human body is functional. Breasts are sexual, but that doesn't mean that breastfeeding is. The vagina is sexual, but that doesn't mean giving birth is. The penis is sexual, but that doesn't mean peeing is.

Quote:

i think the western society has definatly sexualized the breast, i mean, we dont get mad when someone shows their tummy (another erogonous zone) or their feet, but breasts are taboo.
In some western societies you have breasts everywherel; communal fitting rooms, topless beaches, postcards, t.v. A while back in the Netherlands, there was a brief fashion in which a small handfull of girls walked around with shirts open in front.


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## ~member~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lara vanÆsir*

The problem today is the failure to see that everything on the human body is functional. Breasts are sexual, but that doesn't mean that breastfeeding is. The vagina is sexual, but that doesn't mean giving birth is. *The penis is sexual, but that doesn't mean peeing is.*









Good points.


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## Robin926

Breasts can feel good in a sexual way. So can your thigh, your neck, your back, etc. All of those parts have a primary purpose, but touched in the right way in the right circumstances, feel sexual too. Same goes for breasts IMO. They're just a functional body part that can have a sexual response in certain situations.


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## laneylue

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lara vanÆsir*
Human breasts are different from every other animal's in that they are large even when we are not breastfeeding. When humans began walking upright, the typical area males were attracted to, the butt, was no longer a predominant as before. The breasts developed to attract males, and not leave this large torso area on a woman to be unsexual.

There is also the fact that the shape of the breasts often reflect the fertility of the woman. Progesterone causes the breasts to become rounded, and progesterone is something some infertile women lack.


Ah! This is one of my male friend's theories on why men find women's breast sexual although he paraphrased "because two breasts look like a behind." He told me _The Naked Ape_ written by Desmond Morris was very enlightening in this regard.

So, DH just got home from work and I talked to him a bit about this. He said that, yes, men's nipples do feel good when stimulated. So I asked him that if that's the case, why are women's breasts viewed as sexual but men's aren't. He said because it's not really the man's breast that is sexual, but the act act of stimulating it. I guess that's what I'm wondering is the case with the female breast. I talked a bit more with him about it, but after a while it became a circular discussion and he started getting silly so I gave up.


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## MomToKandE

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lara vanÆsir*
The penis is sexual, but that doesn't mean peeing is.

Exactly what I was thinking! Yes I think my breasts are sexual. No I do not find nursing or NIP sexual. Same as a penis being sexual in some situations and functional in others.


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## eco_mama

I personally don't like the fact that breasts are seen as something sexual. I feel that breasts are made for the sole purpose of feeding your children.

I just remembered something that made me think..

My old friend from my hometown had a baby about 4 yrs ago. When her dd was about 2 yrs old I got to visit them. I asked her if she breastfed her and she got this squimish look on her face and said no. She basically said she saw it as something "gross."

She obviously sees breasts as sexual and therefore, it would be gross for a little baby/child to suck on them. Yet, that's exactly what Jah (God) made breasts for. It made me really sad to hear her talk about it. And sad at what society makes people believe and at how many women are so ill-informed about bfing...so ignorant.


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## DocsNemesis

I wont go totally into it, but my dh doesnt find breasts sexual and interestingly, I do not concider my breasts an erogenous zone. I mean, I have just never felt good when someone messes with my boobs, it actually kind of bugs me.
Anyway, I really do think that it is purely conditioning that has made western people think of breasts as sexual. The same thing happened with circumcision and, although its changing now, many people still think of circumcised penises as the normal penis, when it really isnt, you know? Its the same thing, they were conditioned. I am pretty sure people have concidered breasts sexual for hundreds of years, so it would make sense that it would take longer to undo the association.
I know that a lot of european countries dont seem to hold this same association though. I mean, they might still concider breasts sexual, but they also seem to understand what they are really for better than many in our society. People dont freak when you NIP there-even when you are showing a lot of skin.


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## mamabadger

I don't know if we need to come up with such complicated explanations for why breasts are considered sexual, like Desmond Morris' "breasts are the new butt", etc. Breasts are secondary sexual characteristics, and any features that one sex has and the other doesn't, are going to be considered sexually attractive in most cultures.

There's an idea that tribal societies, in which women as well as men go topless and BF is done openly and everywhere, will see breasts as non-sexual. My husband got his degree in anthropology, and heard many accounts that indicate otherwise. For example, one of his professors spent 2 years in Africa. Sometimes at night, outdoor movies would be shown. Every time the lights went out or they lost power and it became completely dark, you could (he said) hear the young women scream as young men took advantage of the momentary darkness to grab their breasts. Similar situations have been observed in other places as well. Even in a society where breasts are seen as functional, they are also considered sexual and attractive.

I doubt traditional societies have nearly such a fetish about breasts as we do here, but I don't think getting BF totally accepted will make breasts become completely neutral and devoid of sexual attractiveness in people's minds.


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## SurfDaddy

just plain sexy...and wonderful, and magical, and beautiful







:


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## AutumnMama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SurfDaddy*
just plain sexy...and wonderful, and magical, and beautiful







:

















My DH would agree with you


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## SurfDaddy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AutumnMama*







My DH would agree with you


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## Francy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lara vanÆsir*
The problem today is the failure to see that everything on the human body is functional. Breasts are sexual, but that doesn't mean that breastfeeding is.


Breastfeeding has really messed up my own sexuality.







[Though I think it would be more fair to say that my sexuality evolved and changed after having, and bfing babies. But my dh would say it is messed up!]

The big problem for me is that I can no longer "go back" to the sexual breast. And I don't want to. I can't really remember if I was ever into "breasty stuff" (in a sexual way), but now I just cannot STAND having them stimulated. Any touch brings on memories/feelings about my baby boys. And it makes me uncomfortable to the MAX to have thoughts of my boys come crashing into my brain during sex. It ruins it for me. (Though it isn't all merely a mental problem for me. Nipple stimulation now feels increduble gross to me.) It makes me never want to be intimate b/c I'm so tired of the breast battle. (He's tried to compromise. For example, "hands only."







: ) Why does he even WANT to suck on them after seeing his sons nursing. If I were him, it would make me feel very creepy to want to "simulate" something I saw my children doing, and turn it into something sexual. So I start to view my dh as creepy.

This is a constant source of marital discord for us. My dh has always been a breast man. He just won't let it go (or let them go). And it makes me very angry.

How do so many of you dedicated bfers handle this? Is it like flipping a switch? You let the baby nurse, and it isn't sexual. Then you roll over and your fully grown, big, hairy dh starts sucking on them in a way that is sexual. And both are fine? Your brain just switches back and forth? I feel icky just typing that!

I can't make the switch. And I don't see why I should have to!!







How do women all around the world do it (given that breasts do seem to be "sexual" for most humans)???????


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## earthmama369

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Francy*
How do so many of you dedicated bfers handle this? Is it like flipping a switch? You let the baby nurse, and it isn't sexual. Then you roll over and your fully grown, big, hairy dh starts sucking on them in a way that is sexual. And both are fine? Your brain just switches back and forth? I feel icky just typing that!

It isn't an immediate switch, but yes, my brain does switch back and forth. Not completely -- there's some bleedthrough either way -- but that's ok. Our love created these babies and that's a natural, joyous thing to me. Or look at it this way: You kiss your husband with your mouth. You also eat with your mouth, and breathe with your mouth. There's very little of our bodies, if anything, that only has one purpose.

nak~


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## wonderwahine

i agree with the pp, its a switch but still a bleedthrough on both sides.

I was into alot of breast stimulation before having ds, so in the early days of bf i would have arousal feelings (not that uncommon btw) as time has gone on, i dont get aroused, but it do feel the same calm that comes over me after an orgasam.

now, granted my sex life is pretty non exsistant since ds's birth, not because I don't want it, we just can't find the time, and ds has sex radar and will wake up out of a deep sleep the second dh touches my breast


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## Francy

Here are some interesting bits from an article I found titled "Sex in a Conservative Society







nis Beag, Ireland"

"How do people deal with sex in a very conservative society? Anthropologists went to Inis Beag in the 1960s to find out. Inis Beag is a remote island off the coast of Ireland. At the time of the study, Inis Beag was a stable Irish peasant community with a population of 350. In 1966 the village still lacked electricity and running water."

"Infant nudity was abhorred by the islanders. The bodies of infants were always covered when in view of siblings and outsiders. Infants had their bodies sponged once a week, and from early childhood onwards their parents washed only their faces, necks, lower arms, hands, lower legs and feet. Breast feeding was uncommon because of the sexual connotations. By late infancy verbal affection replaced the affection of physical touching. Children were never allowed to see anyone naked. People slept in their underwear and clothes were changed only in secrecy, often under the bedcovers. Even nudity of pets in heat caused anxiety and dogs were whipped for licking their genitals."

What I can't figure out, is if this was such an isolated society, and they didn't breastfeed, how did they feed their babies? Cow milk? What did they use? Some type of homemade bottle?


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## wonderwahine

i think they may have been converted to live that way in the 1800's by missionarys.......its very rare for any colony of people that isolated to think that way without having been taught it.


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## KnitLady

Quote:


Originally Posted by *romans_mum*
...ds has sex radar and will wake up out of a deep sleep the second dh touches my breast










Yours too, huh? I'm convinced my ds doesn't want any siblings! Not that I'm ready for another baby quite yet!!

I'm glad this whole issue has been brought up. My relationship with my breasts has totally changed since bf'ing. Breasts are no longer sexual to me. I'm no longer turned on by breast/nipple play and would rather them be left alone. This is putting a bit of a kink in the works for foreplay since I used to really enjoy nipple stimulation. I do wonder how I'll feel when I'm done breastfeeding. I don't know! It is good to know I'm not alone!!!


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## wonderwahine

we directly asked ds if he wanted a brother or sister, and he got mad and hit me! then he snuggled into my breast and whined.........every time we say "save for the next baby" he gives us "the look" and slams his hand down in protest.

its so cute, hes only 9mths old. I wonder how he will feel at 2yrs old lol.


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## Francy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KnitLady*
I do wonder how I'll feel when I'm done breastfeeding. I don't know! It is good to know I'm not alone!!!


I'm probably an "extreme" case (at least dh thinks I am). I've been done bfing for over a year now, and I still have major breast "hang ups." They just aren't sexual to me anymore. And dh is breast-obsessed. And his obsession icks me out. There seems to be no middle ground for us. [But see? I'm calling it a hang up. Why can't my feelings be normal? Are they? Aren't they? I don't know.]

Come to think of it, my 2 boys think my breasts are hilarious, and stare and joke about them whenever they can (though I am very casual and nonreactive about it).

So everyone in my house just needs to BACK OFF! Leave them alone already! I want to take them into hiding!


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## laneylue

Thanks for the replies! I was worried people might think I was asking a dumb question because simplistically society needs to just get over and realize that breast are for feeding a baby first, and anything else is secondary.

However, I really do think it's a complicated subject that is often difficult for both men and women to make the distinction between sexual and functional.

I can join some of you ladies and say that I don't like breast stimulation from DH nearly as much after having a child as I did before. I now often find sexual stimulation annoying and distracting. I wonder if it's something that just takes time to get over or if it will be forever annoying.

And my DH agrees with the PP - I asked him why women's breasts are sexual and men's aren't if they both feel good to be stimulated and he said in this total DUH tone, "Because women's breasts are hot."


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## mike

Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used


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## Godiva

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mike*
Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used

That reminds me of a friend I had in high school that would make ANYTHING you said sexual. pre teens/teens just learning about sexuality find all sorts of things sexual that most people would never think of (or did I just have messed up friends?







).


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## Incubator

DH is not a boob man, but pays attention to them because I like my breasts and I want them to be appriciated. Now that I'm breastfeeding, I like them even more, and he is starting to show genuine interest in them too. I don't think there is a switch for me, in a way. I use them to feed my son, and I enjoy that. It's calming and relaxing and makes me feel good. I also like to use them in the bedroom, and for DH to enjoy them, in a different way, but I still enjoy it. After all, it's what we do in the bedroom that makes the children in the first place, right?


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## BensMom

I was just thinking about this recently. When I was pregnant, I was totally into breast stimulation during "the deed". Now taht I am nursing, it takes a little longer to get riled up, but I still do enjoy that stimulation once we get going. But yet, when DD nurses (and she isnt biting me







) I dont feel anything like it. Its amazing how it is like a switch, that in the right situation, it feels sexual, but while nursing, its just doing a job.









To answer the OP, I think breasts are inherently sexual, since so many women and men enjoy that part of lovemaking. I dont think we were taught culturally to make them so.


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## Pandora114

From an anthroplogical standpoint; Men are attracted to breasts as a symbol of "That woman is capable of feeding and sustaining my offspring"

It's a VISUAL representation that said woman can nourish a man's offspring after birth. It's also why men care about hips/butt too. Hips mean the woman can carry and birth his offspring and carry on his genes without too much trouble to herself, and said offspring.

But of course this is all subliminal and instinctual and goes back to our animalistic nature, which most of the human race totally and utterly rejects.

It's the same basic animalistic instinct that women revert to during NATURAL labour/childbirth.


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## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pandora114*
It's the same basic animalistic instinct that women revert to during NATURAL labour/childbirth.

you mean in regards to the guteral moans, birth dance, squatting and seeking out water?


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## MotheringHeart

Prior to having kids I was really into the use of my breasts as an erogonous zone. I looooved having them touched etc etc. After our first was born and she was nursing day and night, I really felt like I didn't want to have them touched/looked at/or even brought into the act of intimacy. I was so focused on them being solely for my DD that I couldn't allow them to be used for my pleasure. As time has gone on (and with lots of patience from DH because he is a TOTAL breast man) I've come to a place where I can nurse and have them be for the nourishment and comfort of my nursling and then use them for my pleasure later on. I LOVE breastfeeding for many, many reasons, but I decided that it wasn't necessary to give up my private enjoyment of them in order to feed my babe.

If we sexualize our breasts too much and then some women feel they have to choose between breasts for sex and breasts for food, then what about our vaginas? Babies are born through that canal, does that not make vaginas sacred and thusly does it violate the sacredness of it to have sex? I say no. There is a way to view our vaginas as doing the jobs they were created for making babies and birthing them. And to me if my breasts help me to enjoy making babies (and being close w/my DH) then there is no conflict in also using them to sustain my babies.

I don't know if this makes any sense or not but....there it is.


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## Pandora114

Quote:


Originally Posted by *romans_mum*
you mean in regards to the guteral moans, birth dance, squatting and seeking out water?

As to regards of the basic instinctual process.

The flight/fight response when the process is interfered with

How Labour can and does stall when the woman is in an unfamiliar and (in the back of her mind) unsafe/hostile environment

How labour will stall if any percieved danger is imminent.

That kinda thing.

If a woman, on a basic intrinsic and instinctual level feels unsafe in any way, her labour wont be as speedy or as relaxed. Stress + Fear = Slow labour. Heck Look at the hospital birth phenom. Women have been told and brainwashed on a CEREBRAL Level that the hospital is safe it's where you're supposed to go, but INSTINCT at the back of her mind speaks to her otherwise..

make sense??


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## wonderwahine

makes perfect sense to me, my labor stalled every time we went to the hospital........because i grew up in new zealand, WANTED ONLY a homebirth in water with a midwife, so being practically forced to go to a hospital (which i hate because of other issues) it stalled, i think in the back of my mind, my labor stalled permanantly, because i knew there was no other choice but the hospital (i definatly wasnt ready for UC and neither was dh). They had to induce me at 41weeks.


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## velcromom

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laneylue*
it's not really the man's breast that is sexual, but the act act of stimulating it.


Now that is a really interesting point. It works for other body parts too. Why is it so sexy to have a partner suck your fingers? Because fingers are sexual? No, it's the act of treating them in a sexual manner that is stimulating. Same with the nape of the neck, back of the knee, the armpit, lol. You can get great erotic sensations from stimulating all those parts but it isn't because they are sexual, it's because y'all were acting sexy about it!









It's Katherine Dettwyler's research that contains the story about the women who rolled on the floor laughing hysterically when told that American men get a sexual thrill from women's breasts, they asked, "You mean they suck on the nipple like a _baby_??!!" and just thought that was hilarious that men acted like babies.


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## ShadowMom

There is nothing inherently sexual about breasts.

There are many cultures where breasts are not considered sexual and seeing them means nothing.

Conversely, in China feet are considered incredibly sexy - they react to feet much the same way our culture reacts to breasts.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mike*
Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used

You mean, other than a vagina and penis, right? I mean, they are the reproductive organs so...


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## wonderwahine

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz*
You mean, other than a vagina and penis, right? I mean, they are the reproductive organs so...

I dont instantly see a vagina or penis and think something sexual........a penis is a penis, and a vagina is a vagina.......we pee from that area, we give birth from our vagina.......so its not inherently sexual to me


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## forthebest

I think there is a difference between sexual and sensual and didn't some poor woman get locked up because she 'admitted',to a mw I think, she had sensual feelings when breastfeeding? How completely ridiculous to portray this as abuse and yet let real abusers carry on unhindered. Absolutely pathetic. At times when bf my first dd I had some lovely sensual feelings probably because having your nipples sucked contracts your uterus,I guess I better be careful in case some uptight person thinks I am abusing my child, thats how f****d up people in this world are. Just totally unconnected with sensuality and obsessed with sex. Breasts can be for pleasure and breasts fill up with milk to feed babies, maybe women have been conditioned to feel bad if when bfing they feel anything else than a dutiful milk-dispenser feeling and thereby lose the sensuality of their breasts. Babies adore breasts on all sorts of levels, it's just more reasons to make women feel 'bad' about their bodies. Enjoy your breasts!! All that porn rubbish we are bombarded with daily does nothing to liberate our minds or our bodies in fact the more we see the more restrictive we become, there is nothing sensual in porn, it's just product. My breasts are not a product whether I'm bfing or otherwise.


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## eco_mama

Quote:


Originally Posted by *romans_mum*
i think they may have been converted to live that way in the 1800's by missionarys.......its very rare for any colony of people that isolated to think that way without having been taught it.

ITA.


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## Party*of*5

To the original question: I have no idea!

I just now saw the Baby Talk magazine that I've heard caused such an uproar. DH and I both agree that we've all seen more in a shampoo comercial! Well, not literally a shampoo commercial, maybe Victoria Secret commercials though. And on billboards, mall windows, clothing catalogues, high school campuses etc...

Whether they were created to be or not, why can't breasts be sexual in the bedroom, functional in regards to children, and no big deal on the street? I mean, mouths are, hands are, feet are.


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## Ruthla

I think a big difference between vaginas and breasts is that you give birth to a child ONCE and then (usually) don't have sexual intercourse for a while afterwards. Breasts are used for feeding that baby many times a day.

There's a chronological distance between the use of the vagina for reproduction and using it for sex. That distance doesn't exist for breasts.


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## GooeyRN

Quote:


Originally Posted by *little_monkeys*
I do not concider my breasts an erogenous zone. I mean, I have just never felt good when someone messes with my boobs, it actually kind of bugs me.

I always hated my breasts messed with, too. Just leave them alone! They are for feeding my baby, nothing more.


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## Nisupulla

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laneylue*
I really am just curious as to whether or not biologically breasts are even sexual at all or if we are just conditioned to believe that they are and that's why they "feel" sexual to us.

We've been conditioned. According to the anthropologist, Dr. Katherine Dettwyler, of Texas A&M, in most cultures, breasts are defined as objects to feed children. "Only 13 out of 190 cultures said breasts were sexually attractive."

http://www.baylor.edu/lariat/news.ph...ry&story=11854


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## Party*of*5

Wow, that article was really choppy, I'd love to read some in depth on this, it's intriguing!


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## ~PurityLake~

Quote:


Originally Posted by *forthebest*
I think there is a difference between sexual and sensual and didn't some poor woman get locked up because she 'admitted',to a mw I think, she had sensual feelings when breastfeeding? How completely ridiculous to portray this as abuse and yet let real abusers carry on unhindered. Absolutely pathetic. At times when bf my first dd I had some lovely sensual feelings probably because having your nipples sucked contracts your uterus,I guess I better be careful in case some uptight person thinks I am abusing my child, thats how f****d up people in this world are. Just totally unconnected with sensuality and obsessed with sex. Breasts can be for pleasure and breasts fill up with milk to feed babies, maybe women have been conditioned to feel bad if when bfing they feel anything else than a dutiful milk-dispenser feeling and thereby lose the sensuality of their breasts. Babies adore breasts on all sorts of levels, it's just more reasons to make women feel 'bad' about their bodies. Enjoy your breasts!! All that porn rubbish we are bombarded with daily does nothing to liberate our minds or our bodies in fact the more we see the more restrictive we become, there is nothing sensual in porn, it's just product. My breasts are not a product whether I'm bfing or otherwise.
















:


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## arlecchina

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies*

I think you will find that most men are taught _not_ to feel the stimulation. Also, in most intact men, they do get extremely excited when their nipples are stimulated.

my partner likes it...as do I...so I think breasts are sexual in the manner that whole bodies are...nothing bad. nothing wrong with seeing a butt or a boob, they're just body parts


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## laneylue

This part of the article is interesting. I'll have to pay better attention to the commercials to see:

*"According to Dettwyler, the media sculpts American's sexual view of the breasts. Pictures of women breastfeeding ironically advertise formulas or bottles.

The advertisements are meant to twist the image of breastfeeding to sell a product, Dettwyler said.

'They are trying to give a subtle message that breastfeeding is illegitimate,' she said. 'It's lower class somehow.'"*


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## kat85

Quote:


Originally Posted by *arlecchina*
my partner likes it...as do I...so I think breasts are sexual in the manner that whole bodies are...nothing bad. nothing wrong with seeing a butt or a boob, they're just body parts

















.....And some male do like to be kiss on the chest, too.


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## Meli65

Something that interests me on this subject is to look at (Western) art back through the ages -- female breasts have been sexualized, (that is, viewed as sexually enticing objects) for a long, long time, even when breastfeeding was, of course, the norm.

I think that there is a duality there that people long ago were more comfortable with -- that breasts were both sexy and useful.


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## Pookietooth

Breastfeeding was the norm for the lower classes, but the people who bought the art, rich people, for the most part, did not breastfeed their own children -- they hired wet nurses to do it for them. Breastfeeding has been a 'lower class' thing for a long time. One of the things that made formula popular was middle class women's inability to afford wet nurses, yet the desire to seem like rich women, and not be nursing.


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## Meli65

Yes, that's true -- my point is just that it was not uncommon to see breasts being used for breast-feeding in those days, certainly more visible than it is today (at least where I live).


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## mommy2zander

I think breasts have been sexualized by Western Society! I think breasts are made for feeding babies! Reading that Tribal woman don't find them sexual reinforces my thoughts on that!


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## Greenie

I used to not like my breasts to be stimulated. I have an abuse history that has really warped the way my body appears to me. BFing has helped me to be more confident and fulfilled with my body and how I feel about it.

Now I enjoy my DH to stimulate them (gently!) and he loves his nipples stimulated too.

I think that the skin is the biggest erogenous organ that there is, and to deny yourself the pleasure is closed minded and a little sad. Not saying that other cultures are those things, but I just think that with the way things are here, and the sexualization of the breast, enjoy it if you do.


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## orangefoot

I have small breasts - 34AAA and no-one has ever taken any notice of them at all. As a teen I felt odd as no-one in my family is as small as me and neither were any of my friends. Boyfriends alwways ignored them and so did my ex-h. dresses and tops never fitted properly and I found that really irritating too.

Breastfeeding opened a door to acccepting my breasts and really feeling that they were good for something. It changed my view from a sexual one to a nurturing one. I was below par in the sexual stakes but I fed my child for a year and that beat the socks of most other people I knew at the time.

Now I have fed three children and preparing for a fourth I am even more comfortable with them - and strangely as time has gone on they have become outrageously sensual to me. My dh is not fixated on my breasts (or anyone elses) but he pays them attention as part of my whole self and I feel as though feeding has opened some connections between them and other erogenous parts of my body which had previously not been there.

For me the sexual, sensual and nurturing aspects are all facets of the same. As is my body itself.


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## elanorh

Misery loves company ....







Well, not really misery. But I must admit I'm one of the women whose sexual attitude in re: breasts has done a 180 in terms of response, and dh is baffled. He is a breast man .... Loves them! And part of that love is the fact that they used to be the "Go!" buttons for me .... A little tweak and I was off to the races. Seriously, could take me to/near orgasm very quickly. Those were the days ....!

I worried a bit about whether I'd be comfortable with dh touching them while bf, and about sexual feelings while bf (since I was so sensitive). And I honestly think I've done a number on myself (paired with the supply issues we had, where for a long time I worried about having letdown during orgasm because I was afraid I'd "waste" some of my precious breastmilk) --- anyway, breast touching just has not been comfortable for me since Ina ws born. We've tried, and every time, it just makes me uncomfortable - especially nipple touching. Let's not even talk about mouths involved!! DH apparently has a good latch from his bf days -- it was eerie and uncomfortable for me. Instant damper. When we worked on me becoming more comfortable with dh touching my breasts - then I'd find myself having similar feelings while Ina nursed and I was NOT comfortable with that (especially early in this second pregnancy).

We bf'd 'til about halfway into this pregnancy, so I haven't had a "break" really from breast/pregnancy/nursing issues ... we were hoping things would improve after a couple months of bf-free but so far, no dice. I'm in the "my breasts are tender!" phase with pregnancy I guess.









I wouldn't trade bf for the world, but I'd love to get rid of my reaction to dh touching my breasts .... He understands, but it's definitely changed things for us sexually and I wish (for both our sakes) that the "go buttons" still worked like they used to. I actually think a counselor might help but how the HECK do you find a counselor who's going to be bf supportive in a CLW sort of way and also counsels on sexual issues?

(Any suggestions from BTDT moms would be great here







).

In terms of the sexuality of breasts in general - I do think that the female form (breasts included) is sexual and has a sexuality to it which attracts men (and women







) -- and like other areas of the body, breasts can be and sometimes are erogenous (ears, ankles, stomachs, necks, mouths). They are, like those other areas, a dual-purpose organ ... our society has obsessed so much about them sexually that some really struggle to see them as dual-purpose, though, and so try to divide the two (meh, maybe me? - I grew up in a bf family though so I don't think breasts were terribly sexualized within my family, although the media impacts things too)..... So, yes, they're sexual. But they're also for feeding babies. Just like legs are sexy, but are also for walking/hauling/running. KWIM?

I just need to work on the sexy part. I'm totally comfortable with the bf part, but with a breast man for a husband, and my own recollections of how NICE it was when my breasts were more responsive sexually -- I'd like to have that, too. Not sure how to get back to that though, except at the end of all bfing for us ... which is years away.


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## mike

there not sexual if you vaued a life a cellabacy.
there not sexual if your prepubecent


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## velcromom

But

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mike*
Nothing in and of itself is sexual its all how you look at it and how you imagen it being used


I still really like the analogy that breasts are sexual in the same way mouths are - and we don't worry about whether we should eat or speak in public with the same mouth we may also enjoy using for erotic purposes.

This site has some really great pages on this very topic.


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## Thalia the Muse

Elanor, I've always been very sensitive to and enjoyed stimulation of my breasts, too, and when I was nursing I really didn't like it for a while or want them to be touched. Mostly, they were getting touched SO MUCH by the baby, they were kind of tender and touched-out and I wanted them left alone. A little frustrating for DH, but on the other hand they looked fabulous so he got to enjoy that. 

Anyway, after my daughter weaned, things did return to normal and I'm back to enjoying breastplay in bed. Just a little bit of anecdata -- it will come back!

I guess it's pretty obvious that yeah, I think they're sexual in addition to being a great way to feed babies. They're nice to look at, they feel good when they're touched, they're loaded with nerve endings so they offer loads of sensation, and they reinforce my femaleness to my partner and me. And every man I've been with has LOVED having his own nipples touched and licked.

There aren't very many human body parts that AREN'T sexual or potentially sexual, really. Except maybe the nasal septum or something. ;-)


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## Wolfmeis

This article really got me steamed. Clearly the Rabbi thinks breasts are solely to be used as sexual objects. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/194/story_19451_1.html


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## Party*of*5

Well that man is obviously an extremist! It IS possible to BF for two or more years, and have DH watch the baby come out, and still be a sexy woman! I have birthed 3 babies in front of DH and BF and gained weight and a host of other things that maybe both of us wish he hadn't seen, but I can't bend over in his presence without causing his temp to climb







. It is totally possible to marry someone mature enough to handle real life. Just because he counsels idiot men doesn't mean all men are idiots. I agree on one point, marriages should be tended to. But why he thinks that can't be done while APing, I've no idea. Someone should smack that man in the back of the head


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## sensual9932

What many people don't want to admit or acknowledge is that, for a very large percentage of people in the world, breasts are also used for sexual arousal and assist in reaching orgasm. For MANY women, it's a turn on to have their breasts fondled and sucked while having sex. This is nothing new. People keep saying about how "today's society" ... bologna. Breasts have been part of sex and sexual pleasure and even masturbation for centuries, if not always. Like it or not- it's a fact. For many women, just playing with their nipples gets them hot and bothered. Another good example is the vagina. The vagina is meant to birth babies... But it also contributes to orgasms- breasts are no different. Yes, yes, yes... We all know they feed babies! We also know they'll help you reach "that peak" while having sex. 

I am a nurse for a doctor's office. Today I opened the lobby door to call a patient back when all of the sudden I see titty... An ENTIRE white titty with EXTRA DARK areolas AND a nipple the size of a JOLLY RANCHER just hanging out of her shirt- the ENTIRE thing. It was wet and shiny from her baby's saliva mixed with her breast milk... the sight couldn't be avoided. And there were a couple of teenage boys staring at her as her wet nipple slipped from her baby's lips when she stood up. Look, I breast fed all 3 of my kids and my daughter breast fed hers... But can you please be discrete with it? I understand breast feeding is natural, but "technically" being nude is also natural but when a man's ding-a-ling is seen freely slinging about then it's called indecent exposure. Cover your [email protected]$ up please.


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