# Can your baby breastfeed while you are lying in bed?



## DrBrockBaca (Jan 17, 2011)

Just wondering if any of you have learned to breastfeed your baby while you are lying in bed? If so, how old was your baby when you were able to do this? And more importantly, how did you get started doing it? Anybody with fairly large breasts successful at this? I have a 3-week old, and we can't nurse without me sitting up completely straight with a nursing pillow in my lap and me holding my breast in a C-hold.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I think it was probably about 5-6 weeks when we got the hang of side lying nursing. We started on the couch, with a latch in place from a football hold, and then I would just kind shift around until she was lying next to me and still latched on. Within a week she was nursing at night in the bed with me. It makes sleeping soooo much easier.


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## APToddlerMama (Oct 5, 2009)

I don't really know how to explain how to nurse in bed other than to lay down on your side and give it a try. My son was a couple of weeks old when we started doing this. Just wanted to point out though that it can be harder to get the latch right in this position, so you might want to wait just a little bit before trying. Also, the position can be a little bit hard on some babies ears (more likely to get ear infections in this position) and for babies with reflux (which is why we had to stop doing it). That said, I would have killed to be able to nurse laying down during those exhausting first months. I hope some other mamas can give you some more practical "how to" advice. I have relatively small breasts and not sure if this made it easier.


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## PatioGardener (Aug 11, 2007)

I nursed my DS side-lying from day 1. I have large breasts, but for a variety of reasons it needed to happen - and we got pretty good at it by day 3.


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

I have large breasts & I was (am) able to successfully bf while lying down in bed. I do not remember exactly when it was for either child, but I can certainly tell you that it was not by three weeks! It was a couple/few months with dd1 and quicker than that with dd2. Until then, I did have to sit up & use a Boppy to nurse, even during the night. IME, baby needs more experience at the breast to master this technique. Once you do, though, it's splendid


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## pammysue (Jan 24, 2004)

DS1 was 2-3 months old. DS2 did in the hospital as a newborn.

Just keep trying, as PP said, your baby needs to be pretty good at latching and you need to be comfy for it to work.


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## DrBrockBaca (Jan 17, 2011)

Thanks. My baby is unfortunately having lots of trouble nursing. One of the problems is that she is not a very efficient eater, so when she does want to eat, it can take an hour, and sometimes she's still hungry at the end. So I'm getting really exhausted. We have been to a lactation consultant several times and are trying to work on all the issues, but we are still struggling. I'm just trying to find a way to get some rest.


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## annaconda (Jul 6, 2010)

Her lower body will be closer to you than her head. I find that side lying is easier with larger breasts - you don't have to prop the babe up to the height of the nipple.get a good latch while you are lying facing eachother and pull her butt in towards you. That's what we do. We had some bfing issues and didn't get this till week 3 I think.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Definitely not by 3 weeks. I am a 10H and I can do it comfortably now but it was probably about 6 weeks before I even tried.

For me, good back support is very important so I almost always have a pillow behind my back. My best tip is get yourself really comfortable before you even think about trying to attach your babe. Nothing worse than finally getting them all settled and feeding and then having to move!


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## medmom7 (Nov 5, 2008)

I have been able to nurse my little one lying down from about 2 weeks. However I do have to use my hands for support. With both of us lying on our side facing each other I use one hand under the baby's head to support her head and one under the breast to help her latch. IIt works most of the time but occasionally I still have to get up to nurse her upright. Good luck!


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## CallMeMommy (Jun 15, 2005)

Oh I wouldn't be alive if I couldn't side-lie nurse. It's the only way I get any sleep! Just keep trying until you both figure it out.


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## greenmulberry (Jan 11, 2009)

Yep, in fact nursing lying down is about the only way we nurse these days. I have to remember to mix it up every now and then so she stays used to other positions in case I cannot lie down, such as when we are out.

I think it is easier for me because I have F cup boobs. I just lay on my side and my nips are in the perfect position for latching.

Keep trying. I think at first I had to grab my boob and point the nipple at her mouth, but now she knows to root and grab it herself.


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## Lauren31 (Feb 25, 2008)

Nusing lying down is awesome--- I remember turning on the lights at 2 am and needing to be propped up by pillows to get a good latch. Eventually the baby just latched well no matter what position I was in! Side lying was awesome. Just keep trying, it'll work out eventually.


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## cromulent (Jul 16, 2011)

Nursing side-lying was a little difficult for us to figure out at first, as I have ginormous boobs. However, I'm pretty sure she nurses all night long now, which is fine, except that she can only get to one side unless I physically move her to the middle of the bed. Then no one can get any sleep. She's only three months old though, so we still have time to learn a better way!


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## mamaecho (Mar 31, 2011)

Ah thank you for posting this question, all the moms I've ever asked said "Oh of course you can breastfeed lying down" but no one mentioned that most likely I wouldn't be able to do it until later, or it may be hard to get 'right'..Now I know for the next time around that it's harder to do than I thought.


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## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

with my first, she was about 2-2.5 month old when we figured it out, with my second we did when he was hours old. I have yet to talk to mom who could early on with her first.


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## BK Mommy (Dec 26, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *katelove*
> 
> Definitely not by 3 weeks. I am a 10H and I can do it comfortably now but it was probably about 6 weeks before I even tried.
> 
> For me, good back support is very important so I almost always have a pillow behind my back. My best tip is get yourself really comfortable before you even think about trying to attach your babe. Nothing worse than finally getting them all settled and feeding and then having to move!


I agree. I wouldn't let the midwife and doula leave until they taught this new mom how to nurse while lying down. It is possible to nurse lying from the baby's first night. The pills tucked under my back really propped me at the right angle. Dd just curls up into me. The weird thing is now that we are slowly transitioning her to a crib, I forgot how to get comfortable on my own! Ha ha!


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## musingmama (Oct 31, 2004)

I have nursed my sons from day 1 while lying down. The first couple of months I would use a pillow to prop against their backs to keep them positioned properly(so their ear, shoulder, and hip were all aligned). Then by 3 months or so, they could lay on their sides without the pillow against their backs. Sometimes it takes a few minutes to get the right distance away so you can stretch out your breast enough so it isn't covering their nose(I have large breasts)...and I would position their feet and bottom closer than their head so their knees were at my belly.

Keep trying, and change sides so that the breast the baby is nursing from is always the one on the bed.


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## greenmulberry (Jan 11, 2009)

Well I couldn't lay on my side anyway until about a week post partum because it felt like my guts were falling out, not sure if that was because of C section or just my muscles all stretched out. It was a while before I had the nerve to even try side laying.


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## mistymoral (Aug 4, 2011)

I had a c-section so I started off with the 'football hold' which in the end made it so easy to nurse lying on my side once I had recovered a bit.

Although I was lucky to have a son that could breastfeed like an ace from minute one.

Once I could I simply lay on one side, made sure my son was lying in the right relationship to my boob (height, like did he need to be on a pillow? did my breast need to be higher?, and adjusted the angle) and made him latch. It just worked for us.

I wish you good luck!


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## mediocrewitch (May 22, 2011)

I was probably into the 3rd or 4th week before I figured out how to do it. For the first few weeks we had him in a co-sleeper thingy between us in bed, and it sucked because my back hurt really bad sitting up in bed (plus I needed to sit on one of those doughnut cushions due to a giant healing perineal tear), so every time he was hungry I'd have to lift him out of his bed, get up and go over to a chair and get all propped up on my pillows- then he'd fall asleep nursing and then wake when I tried to put him back down...and then I'd end up going downstairs with him so as not to wake DH while he was fussing...and then he'd fall asleep in my lap again only to wake AGAIN when I tried to put him back in bed...and on & on.

DH kept telling me to "just nurse him lying down, that's what you're supposed to do!" and I was like HOW??! I would try and it just seemed so awkward! We have no LLL chapter here, and having people describe it to me on the phone was no help. I think it was in one of Ina May Gaskin's books where I finally saw a picture and description that helped. At first I had to prop up on my elbow a little while he latched on, and then slide down slowly to a full lying position, but now it's super easy! Also when he was real small I felt like I had to hold my boob away from his face to keep blocking his nose- but with practice (and him getting bigger) it's no longer a problem. Also from Ina May, learned that by backing up a little and rolling toward him with my knee up more to keep me from rolling all the way, I can dip the upper boob down for him so he can alternate boobs w/out me having to roll over & switch sides- which is nice for nights he's extra thrash-y- so he doesn't have to be between me & Dh and pummel him awake! (or when DH is extra tired and I'm worried about him not being as alert to the little guy's location). However- that position is kinda uncomfortable as I'm then squashing the boob I'm leaning over on- but it's good to have the option.


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## anuindi (Jul 29, 2011)

I found it easiest when the baby is already at least 3 wks old. I have small breasts and with my first baby my friend kept telling me to do side lying position and i was like "how? my boobs dont reach her, im serious" she just couldn't believe me, but finally i figured it out somehow. Nursing in general is very personal in that its definitely not one size fits all. You'll find your own positions that work best for you in time. Just stick with it!


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## CandiceDeEtte (Dec 5, 2010)

Mine are size F and I have always had a rough start with getting comfortable while feeding. I am on baby #2 and I never got the hang of side lying with my daughter. It took me about 3-5 weeks this time around. It definitely takes some maneuvering and getting used to but once you've got it, you've got it. I started out feeding him with the top breast while we were both on our sides and I had to lay almost flat on top of the other one in order to get him latched on correctly, after a week or two I started getting sore and worried about clogged ducts so I wouldn't recommend doing that for too long. I finally was able to get into a comfortable position with feeding him from the bottom one by starting out sitting up, making sure he had a good latch, then laying both of us down at the same time. My bottom arm will be in a triangle shape close to my head.

I know with my first I was on edge all the time, she would nurse for AT LEAST an hour about ever hour or two and because I also had a problem with oversupply/OALD nursing was almost unbearable unless I was sitting straight up an exact way~ with the exact same pillow~ on the exact same couch. It was exhausting and eventually took a toll on our breastfeeding relationship, so I was determined this time to get comfortable while I fed no matter what it took. I found one website very helpful;

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

http://www.llli.org/docs/0000000000000001WAB/WAB_Tear_sheet_Toolkit/01_laid_back_breastfeeding.pdf

and although I don't position myself the same way as they describe it helped me to learn how to get myself comfortable while nursing and it has made ALL the difference in the world. I am able to sleep not only at night when I'm side lying but if I'm extra tired, also during the day because I'm in a comfortable enough position to where I can just lay my head back or to the side and nap until he's done. I would suggest just experimenting with putting your body into different positions until you find one that really works for you. I've found sitting relaxed on the couch I can put him into an almost diagonal cradle hold where hes in a sitting position facing me, while I curl my legs up to his back. Once he's on correctly my legs are enough support for him so that my hands are free and I've been using this position since he was just a week or two old (still supporting him with my hands at that time) so it is possible.

Good luck!


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## teraze (Apr 6, 2011)

It'll happen! And when it does, you can learn to shift your body back a little bit and give your babe the top breast so you don't have to roll over baby (or pick baby up and roll over). And then your sleeps will improve drastically again.  We started nursing laying down all the time probably around 2-3 months and then nursing lying down-but-from-both-breasts-without-rolling-over around 4-5 months.


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

with my second child, i was doing it as soon as he was born. like, within hours.

i would suggest that you take a "nursing vacation" where you just stay in bed with baby and nurse for as long as you can -- all day if you can do it.

he/she will get the hang of it.


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## wake_up (Aug 1, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mediocrewitch* At first I had to prop up on my elbow a little while he latched on, and then slide down slowly to a full lying position, but now it's super easy! Also when he was real small I felt like I had to hold my boob away from his face to keep blocking his nose- but with practice (and him getting bigger) it's no longer a problem. Also from Ina May, learned that by backing up a little and rolling toward him with my knee up more to keep me from rolling all the way, I can dip the upper boob down for him so he can alternate boobs w/out me having to roll over & switch sides- which is nice for nights he's extra thrash-y- so he doesn't have to be between me & Dh and pummel him awake!


All of this. Plus with baby #1 somebody gave me a nursing positioning pillow with a light in it like this, which was super amazingly great at the time. Nice soft light so you can see what you're doing without waking baby or DH. Solves the thrashing issue too.


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## musingmama (Oct 31, 2004)

nursing from both breasts on one side worked for my first, but with my second, the top one makes him gag because of the angle and gravity that makes it flow way too fast for him (if you have "over abundant" supply like me sometimes it may be an issue, like LLL says "its like trying to drink out of a hose on your back!") I was able to do it with my first but then again I had a big problem with recurring clogged ducts and mastitis and this time haven't had it at all...


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

it took a while for us but now its a our favorite thing. i still hold my boob most of the time, my babes are lazy with thier latch and ill fall out otherwise.

also i can now feed both breast from either side, i nice trick, bottom ones is a bit harder, but there is times when strangely it is easier. so dont assume which boob is best on a certain side till you test out both!

also be aware of what shape you hold your boob in, i noticed at first that i was flatting it perpendicular to their mouth, so no wonder it was hard to get on, a side effect of having my arm at a differnt angle, once i fixed that it was better, and yeah i pull thier bodies way in like another poster mentioned


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## LiLStar (Jul 7, 2006)

It took a while for dd and I to get the hang of it.. couple months maybe? Not sure :/ sooo long ago! We practiced when wide awake during the day occasionally, way easier than sleepy and in the dark. For some reason it was particularly difficult for her to latch that way. Can't fathom why. It did help if I propped myself up on one elbow to get her latched, then eased myself down. Had to be slow and careful easing myself down so she didn't lose her latch. It definitely took persistence to get it down, but it sure was heaven once I could just sleep topless and let her help herself at night.. ahh...

For ds, goodness, that child had NO PROBLEM nursing regardless of position, from day 1. He wanted it, and he'd take it wherever and however he could get it! Right after the birth we went upstairs to bed and he didn't want to let go for an hour or so. I don't know if he was just a natural born "perfect nurser" or if it was ME being more experienced so it was more second nature to me, or simply because my nipples were nicely broken in and easy to grab onto thanks to the tandeming toddler? newborn dd was a very efficient nurser, fast gainer, it would take her a minute or two to get latched on even sitting upright in a nice comfy position, in a well lit room. I assumed this was par for the newborn course. Then ds came along and hoooly crap, that boy could NURSE! Side lying in bed, pitch dark, less than 24 hours old? No problem, he grabbed right on about as easily as the toddler would. Sure got lucky with him.


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## HawaiianBlesing (Nov 21, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Marissamom*
> 
> with my first, she was about 2-2.5 month old when we figured it out, with my second we did when he was hours old. I have yet to talk to mom who could early on with her first.


I just had my 1st babe on Tues night and we've been doing it since day 1. He was really fussy the first couple of nights and it was the only way I felt safe to doze. It wasn't perfect at first being new at everything but we got by and I got some much needed rest (after 22 hrs of labor, I needed it.)


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## mugglesmom (Jan 3, 2011)

My son is 2 1/2 weeks and we've been nursing this way for about a week. He nurses constantly so Ihad to make this work or I'd never sleep. I have large breasts, it's not perfect but it works pretty well. I have to put my lower arm up so my breast is lower. The latch takes a little longer to get right than when we're sitting up but after a few attempts it's good. Sometimes if we're having a really hard time with the latch I'll roll him to his back and lay over him to get the nipple in correctly then hold he back of his head and roll us both back to the side. That can take a few tries too. My little guy naturally likes to lay on his side though so maybe that helps. I don't have to prop him up or anything.

Keep trying! I've had a ton of breastfeeding issues so far and they would all be a million times worse if I was sleep deprived.


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## annaconda (Jul 6, 2010)

I had to get us nice and comfy feeding from the bottom breast for a few weeks before I tried positioning to do the top breast - avoiding having to change sides. It is trickery for me to get him to keep a good latch but I second the sentiment that side lying is THE BEST!!

I'm back to work now part time and on my days off its morning side lying with mama time.

One of the best things about daytime side lying is the easy sweet eye contact with no neck tweaking or discomfort.


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## guatemama1 (Mar 10, 2011)

I've been exclusively side-lying since my boy's birth almost 3 weeks ago. In fact I'm trying to get the hang of the other positions...


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

It took a lot of practice before my son and I were able to successfully nurse lying down. I cannot recall the exact age we mastered it but it took a while. Practice, practice practice.........


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## Gismobabe (Apr 21, 2009)

Side lying in bed and nursing is my favorite position and all my babies did it from the start. I have D/DD breasts and absolute no problem with nursing this way. What exactly does not work for you?


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## DrBrockBaca (Jan 17, 2011)

Well, my baby has difficulty latching in any position. I have to hold my breast for her and roll my nipple into her mouth while holding her head and neck with the other hand and bringing her head to my breast. She's just not nursing well generally. I've been to the lactation clinic 5 times in the last 3 1/2 weeks. They actually had me try using a nipple shield (my nipples are kind of flat and soft), which seems to be helping her latch on and she nurses longer with it. But now I'm afraid that is going to interfere with her breastfeeding on my bare breast. I'm not sure what to do. But when they weighed her before and after breastfeeding with and without the nipple shield, she got more with it than without it. So I don't know what to do! It's very difficult to get her to nurse. She has trouble latching on, and she's not an efficient eater - she will nurse for an hour and only get about half an ounce to an ounce. Part of this is because she always goes to sleep almost as soon as I put her to the breast, so she is pausing a lot and not sucking hard enough and continuously. I do everything I can to stimulate her (tickling, talking, rubbing her with a wet washcloth, blowing on her, etc.), but it just isn't enough. I'm also struggling with juggling pumping and nursing. I want to let her nurse as long as she wants, but then I don't have time to do anything else (pump, eat, sleep, etc.). I think it would help if we could nurse lying down so at least I could rest a little.


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

That was actually the first way I breastfed my baby. I didn't know anything about breastfeeding or that it was supposed to be a difficult position. It just felt right and worked for baby and me. The midwife came the next day (I had a UC) and was amazed that I was breastfeeding her side-lying. I have no idea if breast size has anything to do with it. I am normally a B cup and was a small C during and after pregnancy.


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## rducky (Jul 4, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> Well, my baby has difficulty latching in any position. I have to hold my breast for her and roll my nipple into her mouth while holding her head and neck with the other hand and bringing her head to my breast. She's just not nursing well generally. I've been to the lactation clinic 5 times in the last 3 1/2 weeks. They actually had me try using a nipple shield (my nipples are kind of flat and soft), which seems to be helping her latch on and she nurses longer with it. But now I'm afraid that is going to interfere with her breastfeeding on my bare breast. I'm not sure what to do. But when they weighed her before and after breastfeeding with and without the nipple shield, she got more with it than without it. So I don't know what to do! It's very difficult to get her to nurse. She has trouble latching on, and she's not an efficient eater - she will nurse for an hour and only get about half an ounce to an ounce. Part of this is because she always goes to sleep almost as soon as I put her to the breast, so she is pausing a lot and not sucking hard enough and continuously. I do everything I can to stimulate her (tickling, talking, rubbing her with a wet washcloth, blowing on her, etc.), but it just isn't enough. I'm also struggling with juggling pumping and nursing. I want to let her nurse as long as she wants, but then I don't have time to do anything else (pump, eat, sleep, etc.). I think it would help if we could nurse lying down so at least I could rest a little.


I could have written this exact post! I feel your fatigue...

I have the same concerns about the shield but at this point it's the only thing that gets her on the breast.

I also really want to learn the side-lying position. Hope to pick up some good advice from this thread.


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## MissAnthrope (Jan 31, 2011)

I remember crying in frustration trying to get my tiny newbies to nurse side-lying. I promise, you WILL work it out eventually if you just keep trying!

I have large, soft breasts and I started out with soft, flattish nipples and needed a nipple shield to help baby's latch. I never worked out how to nurse on my side with the shield on, but maybe there's a way, I don't know. My termie was off the shield at about 5 weeks old, and weighed about 8-9lbs, and it was just SO HARD to get the hang of it. I ended up having DH help me by positioning the baby for me until I learned where he should be in order to have his mouth line up with my nipple when I offered him the breast. I used a scissor hold at first to get my nipple where it needed to be while keeping the breast tissue from smothering the baby. Over time, as he grew and my supply regulated, it got easier. We started nursing side-lying at about six weeks, with the scissor hold and DH helping me position and being up against a pillow propped against the wall for my back and a pillow rolled up behind baby's back and ugh, it was taxing, but it was so worth it. By the time baby was 3 months old, we were still using the scissor hold but he was able to stay in place without something behind him and I knew how to position him without DH's help. Now he's 9 months and he's finally turning the corner in terms of being able to latch (and breathe at the same time) without me doing the scissor hold to support my breast.

Hang in there, mama! You'll figure it out, just keep trying!


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## flyrabbitfly (Jul 28, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> Well, my baby has difficulty latching in any position. I have to hold my breast for her and roll my nipple into her mouth while holding her head and neck with the other hand and bringing her head to my breast. She's just not nursing well generally. I've been to the lactation clinic 5 times in the last 3 1/2 weeks. They actually had me try using a nipple shield (my nipples are kind of flat and soft), which seems to be helping her latch on and she nurses longer with it. But now I'm afraid that is going to interfere with her breastfeeding on my bare breast. I'm not sure what to do. But when they weighed her before and after breastfeeding with and without the nipple shield, she got more with it than without it. So I don't know what to do! It's very difficult to get her to nurse. She has trouble latching on, and she's not an efficient eater - she will nurse for an hour and only get about half an ounce to an ounce. Part of this is because she always goes to sleep almost as soon as I put her to the breast, so she is pausing a lot and not sucking hard enough and continuously. I do everything I can to stimulate her (tickling, talking, rubbing her with a wet washcloth, blowing on her, etc.), but it just isn't enough. I'm also struggling with juggling pumping and nursing. I want to let her nurse as long as she wants, but then I don't have time to do anything else (pump, eat, sleep, etc.). I think it would help if we could nurse lying down so at least I could rest a little.


We had to start side-lying right away because I had a HUGE hemmroid that necrosed, and until they cut it, I could not sit down to nurse or for any other reason for about 10 days! Necessity is the mother of invention, and since we had to, we figured it out pretty quickly. It helped to have DH help position him on his side so he didn't flop back on his back, and to keep his little flailing arms from getting in the way of his mouth! It was a couple of months though, before I could do it with the "top" boob, mostly because I had oversupply and he was drowning in it, but if you have a low supply, it might actually help her get a little more because the top boob is kind of hanging over her a little so gravity will help her with the work.

In response to not having time for other things like pumping- I'm pretty sure that even a poorly nursing baby is going to stimulate more of your milk hormones than any pump- your brain knows that this is a baby and not a machine! I'd check with the lactation consult here, but my gut tells me that letting the baby stay latched ALL THE TIME if she wants to, will help her gain weight and learn to nurse better. Even when she isn't sucking effectively, it is still stimulating your breasts, which is the key to getting more milk made for her to get. Sleeping you can do once you get the side lying thing down, and eating you can do sitting up- enlist your husband, neighbors, friends, LLL ladies, anyone, to come over and bring you some food!

Also, if you can, nurse topless (except maybe when those neighbors are bringing you the food)- the skin to skin will help your little one make growth hormone, and with the boobies right there, she'll figure out how to get what she needs to make use of it.

Best of luck!

Rachel


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## zannster (Aug 12, 2004)

My first started nursing in bed at about a week (which was a couple of days after we got home from the c/s hospital stay). I was DD so not huge but not small either. DS would not stay asleep on his own at all, so this grew out of necessity. When he was asleep in my arm, I carried him - still latched on - to bed and went to sleep with him. At first, I think his head was sort of on my arm/shoulder, but I moved him down a little, and he was fine with that. It didn't take long until we were comfortable starting out in bed. The only thing I *didn't* ever get was being able to nurse across with the other breast. I always used the side I was lying on.

DD and I were in the hospital longer due to complications, and we didn't get to nurse as soon, but she was nursing in bed by 1.5-2 weeks.


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## Ma Cactus (Mar 11, 2011)

We nursed lying down from day 1 because I was too tired to sit up after a long labor! It always seemed like the easiest way, especially at night.

I did also have the 'guts falling out' feeling, although I had a natural delivery so I think it is more from the stretched muscles. It was so uncomfortable that I bought a post-partum belly band thingy that held my guts in. I wore it for about a week and then it felt okay again.


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## Ma Cactus (Mar 11, 2011)

Oh yeah - and I am not comfortable doing it with baby's head on my arm, as my sister does. I put my lower, bed-side arm up under the pillow, and baby lies on his side directly on the mattress or with a very skinny pillow with his face right in front of the boob. When he was very small, I was not comfortable using the upper boob either, because that placed my body more at an angle over him, and I was afraid that if I fell asleep I could roll over on to him. So I would switch sides rather than go bottom to top. Once we had been doing it several months, I got comfortable with it.


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## Kanna (May 23, 2011)

We started BF while lying in bed while we were still in the hospital.

One of the nurses showed us how to do it (they taught us some other techniques too and helped us when we had difficulties (milk threatened to dry up again and kid not wanting to latch on and screaming at the breast instead).

I often read while the kid's nursing and sometimes we both fall asleep that way.

How we do it: I just roll onto my side, stretch the bottom arm out above my daughters head, she's lying on her side too, flat on the mattress and I see to it that her mouth is level with the nippel.

I sleep on my side, so lying on my side is a position I'm comfortable in and which is stable for me (knees are bent for stability; bottom arm spread out, either straight or slightly bent).

For changing sides, we roll to the other side. (She used to sleep on a big towel in bed, so I could pull her (or rather the towel with her on top) close without lifting and then, after nursing, pull her back into the baby balcony attached to our bedside, also without lifting. These days, I just hold her close to me and well roll over together. She's so adept at latching on by now (2 years old) that she will latch on to the other nipple while I'm still in mid-turn.









I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can get BF while lying down to work for you!


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## Kanna (May 23, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> .....I've been to the lactation clinic 5 times in the last 3 1/2 weeks. They actually had me try using a nipple shield (my nipples are kind of flat and soft), which seems to be helping her latch on and she nurses longer with it. But now I'm afraid that is going to interfere with her breastfeeding on my bare breast. .....


I know it's only anecdata, but we had to use a nipple shield for a while too. DD also kept falling asleep and didn't want to nurse (that was right after birth and she had a serious infection, which they thankfully caught and treated with antibiotics). Once she was a bit older and practiced with a nipple shield, we just went ahead and tried it without and it worked straight on (she was more awake by then and her strenght had vastly improved, so she had the power to suck again ^_~)


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## JFTB1177 (Sep 9, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> Just wondering if any of you have learned to breastfeed your baby while you are lying in bed?


This is the ONLY way I've ever done it!  Makes cosleeping easier too!


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## ~Amy~ (Jun 7, 2009)

I couldn't with DS1 until 2 months or so because we needed a nipple shield at first because his latch was terrible. With DS2, we nurses lying down the night he was born with no problem whatsoever. It's definitely a learned skill. If you have an LLL chapter close by, go to a meeting and ask someone to show you. I've laid on the floor and demonstrated how to nurse side-lying more than once. Yeah, it feels a bit silly, but it's really helpful to new moms. Once it clicks, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.


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## robin-ma (Dec 1, 2001)

Hi! I don't have time to check to see if someone else made this suggestion--got a babe of my own. But with my first, he did couldn't sleep laying on his side, so after about 5 weeks, in bed, I tried propping up about 4 pillows behind me and others on my sides to support my arms, and one more pillow under the bf'ing pillow, and lay back with the bf'ing pillow. He could stay latched, and I could recline sufficiently to sleep relatively comfortably. I hope you get some relief very soon!

I think you could do it earlier than 5 weeks, I just didn't think of it before then.


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## seawitch (Jan 29, 2011)

We nursed successfully from day one. The first night I just held her close and actually tucked her in under my shirt (it was kind of baggy) so we had skin to skin. She nursed all night while I dozed. We spent a good chunk of the first week or so like that except when we were up and about. I would just cradle her to my chest and she'd either be on top of me if I was on my back, or to the side of me when I was on my side. I don't have huge breasts but they're not tiny either. She was just kinda sprawled on top of me, I don't think I used any particular hold.


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## mama2ermz (Mar 31, 2011)

Keep trying, you will both get the hang of it! With my 3 DDs we nursed lying down from day 1, no problem. So I assumed with #4, my boy would get it right away. I was wrong! He would just scream if I tried it and I ended up sitting in a chair with him on the boppy & we would both fall asleep. I would wake up terrified that I was going to drop him! I never did but I had to make it work lying down so we both could rest peacefully. We finally got it after about a week when I would lie on my side and hold him in the crook of my arm, his head in the elbow/resting on the lower part of my upper arm. I would have to bring my boob to him and hold it there for him but it worked. It seemed a little weird to me & would make my arm stiff but getting sleep was well worth it! I asked my lactation consultant if this was ok for him, she said that if we were both comfortable & he's eating it's all good. I guess it helped that I have big floppy boobs that I can just kind of maneuver whichever way. Baby is 8 mths now and nursing is incredibly smooth in any position now!
Side note (haha) you ladies that can nurse on both sides without rolling over are amazing! I've never heard of anyone doing that & have often wished I could when I have to move us both around to switch but I just don't think I could do it without squishing LO!


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## xtranath (Aug 1, 2005)

I Bfed both my sons lying in the bed right from day 1. it was more difficult for DS1 (I had a c-section and he had a bad latch) than for DS2 who actually latched on all by himself right after the birth. (just had to yell at the nurse who did not want to let hm be andnsisted on helping him. The major difference is that you can't see very well what the baby does... But babies are quick learners....


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## nearlyelated (Mar 30, 2011)

At first I had to put my arm under his head to raise him up a bit, but once he was bigger and had more neck control (and I was um, less full and firm?) he just lay on the bed. I'm not super big breasted (34C when I'm not pregnant or nursing).


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## NGC1718 (Mar 4, 2008)

I am a big fan of nursing in bed lying down...so much easier on Mama and helps you get more rest...here is how it worked for me...

My older daughter (3 years old) was a pro nurser and wanted to nurse 24/7 even if she wasn't hungry. She got the hang of nursing in bed right from the start.

My newest daughter (2 weeks old) is a 35 week preemie and only wants to nurse if she is TRULY hungry. She pushes me away if she isn't ready to eat...I have been trying to get her to nurse in bed since she came home from the hospital but it has been tough. She likes to be cuddled with my hand under her head when she nurses. 2 nights ago she finally latched on laying down and she has done it every night since.

It just takes some patience and trial and error to teach the little ones how to do it.









Best advice is to just keep trying and experiment to find out what works best for you!


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## nataliemick (Sep 19, 2009)

I learned when my daughter was about two weeks old. We started at week 1 feeding in bed with some stacked pillows so I was in a very reclined position with her body draped across my chest under the opposite breast, so she was feeding almost face down. Then moved pillows away over the next week so I was lying on my back and she was draped across me in the same way and feeding face down. When her suckle got stronger and she was more efficient at feeding, we moved into the side-lying position.


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## SuperGojiMama (Oct 5, 2009)

We were able to do side-lying nursing from about 1 day old... I didn't know it was an "advanced" technique or anything about that. I just could not sit on my bottom for more than about 1 minute after giving birth, so side-lying become our thing. My midwife was all impressed with it, but my mom says that it's easier with larger breasts (we both have) so that's why we got it right from the start. It has made sleeping for both of us - so great! We just fall asleep where we are nursing and no repositioning or anything needed. I have found that for some reason he doesn't need to burp at night either.

Even at 3 months old now, he still sometimes prefers the lie down, so we have a lambskin that just stays on the floor for nursing/nap times.

Good luck!


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## phuston (Nov 12, 2008)

I usually prop the baby's head up on my upper arm in the crook of my underarm to start and then roll into her to get the latch. It gets easier as they get older and gain neck control, but I started pretty early with all of mine out of convenience -and the fact that with twins I 'd never get any sleep if I couldn't nurse in bed. Which leads to an important point - Be Careful. This quickly turns into co-sleeping, which many people don't recommend, particularly with the newbies. If you're a heavy sleeper, really deprived of sleep (hence likely to quickly go into a very deep sleep) or tend to thrash around, don't attempt this until you're more rested and not likely to fall dead asleep).


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## SemWife (Aug 5, 2008)

If you are in need of using the C-hold, remember that baby's head is at a different angle to your breasts when you are lying down and to rotate the C-hold slightly so that you presenting your breast at the same angle respective to her mouth as you would if you were sitting. Does that make sense? I second lots of pillows behind you too. Keep at it-you'll get it!


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## Womb2World (Jul 29, 2011)

Nursing side-lying was my savior, but it didn't work for the first few months for me. I tried it early on, and I just couldn't get it to work. I would sit up and read on my Kindle to stay awake, but it was rough. Eventually I tried again and had success, and that's what we've been doing at night ever since. She just turned 16 months and is still in bed with us and still nurses at night. Most of the time, I'm able to fall right back asleep, or I don't even wake up because she finds her way to me. I would have loved to have had it work earlier on, but I was glad that I went back to it and got it to work.

I applaud you for your effort and patience. I think many women stop breastfeeding at the first sign of difficulty, and it's wonderful that you've reached out to get support and do all that you can to try and keep it going.

Good luck and enjoy your little one!

Peace,

Xandra


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## JackieG (Aug 15, 2008)

I am on baby number 5 and have been able to nurse all of them while lying in bed from the day they were born- except the first and he was a preemie. It is a bit awkward at first, but if you can get the hang of it you can nurse and get back to sleep. I set the baby laying next to me on the bed and get in a comfortable position on my side. Then I slide the baby up to the breast that is laying on the bed with baby's mouth at the level of the nipple. Then I wrap my free arm around the baby's back and pull him in close. If it doesn't seem to be working just try repositioning the baby. I find that I usually need to pull him down more towards the foot of the bed if things aren't working. Good luck!


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## Ainsleyfish (Jul 27, 2011)

I have very large breasts, 34H/I & am a breastfeeding mom & coach. I found that practicing on a couch in the beginning was easiest to have constant back support. With any breastfeeding it's best for latch to have your nipple pointing towards your baby's nose. For laying down it means rolling your own body until nipple is to nose without having to hold your breast in place. I used a rolled up receiving blanket to support baby's back & keep babe in a good position. I figured out a good latch sitting up first then worked on laying down around 4 or 5 weeks.
A note for large breasts, I still feel more comfortable holding my breast while nursing sitting up & my son is 2. Best to support baby with rolled receiving blankets to have a hand free in the beginning.


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## wingnutamy (Apr 25, 2008)

I had a lot of trouble with my first daughter with breastfeeding the first few weeks in general. It took about 2 months before I could comfortably hold her in bed to nurse, even though we were sleeping together.

My second daughter is a cinch!! I've been nursing in bed since birth. I noticed she's a LOT bigger than my first, even though both were wiry and strong. My first daughter's head was just not big enough to actually reach my breast even if turned all the way to the side. It's more comfy with my bigger baby. They were very much similar in size at birth, but #2 has gained weight much faster, making her easier and easier to nurse in bed.

With the first, it was a struggle, but definitely worth it. I also remember hearing her nuzzle and fuss against me, and having to flip a light switch so I could sit up and see what I was doing in the most bleary, sleep deprived ways. But it got better, and one day I realized she could nurse in bed and, OH Happy Days! She'd nurse left, right, and on my belly with her cheek turned to grab a breast, and would be done in a few minutes and we were back to sleep in no time. Current baby did this from birth, but it could be that I'm well-versed in techniques I didn't even know I was using.

So, keep trying. I don't think it has as much to do with the breast size, only your comfort level/baby's size and reach ability, and finding a position that works.


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## chibabyc (Jan 27, 2007)

With my first baby, I had a c-section and was painful to lay on my side, and basically impossible to lift the baby into bassinet next to our bed. So I would end up sitting on the couch with her on the boppy. Then I started to recline on pillows on the couch and ditched the boppy and used kind of a cradle hold. When she was a few months old and stronger I started just going to bed with her, I actually found it easier to nurse from the top breast. I would keep her on my side of the bed as hubby concerned about rolling on her. To nurse on the bottom breast I would have to kinda of lay on my back and put my bottom arm above my head to get the angle right. Finally started to get some sleep!
Baby too also a c/s and used a binder to make my stomach more comfy, I was determined to get some better sleep right from the get go and it worked out. Baby flat on bed or on my arm.
My friend has large breasts and one flat, one inverted nipple, she was too scared to try nursing one her side with first babe, thinking she would squish him but also using nipple shield, etc made it harder. She finally tried it with baby two, I tried to show her what I did, and she eventually got comfortable when baby several months old.
I think it's worth it to work through it, I nursed much longer and got better sleep, sometimes they seemed to nurse all night but once latched on I could doze. Good idea to practice during the day, with pillows for back support and a rolled blanket or something to keep baby in place as you adjust yourself. Breast of luck!


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## umpquafish (Jul 8, 2010)

I am a G cup, and we could nurse side-lying from the first time I tried it, a day or two after my son was born. He was a very efficient eater right out of the womb, however, which I think made a huge difference. I didn't realize it was something out of the ordinary until my midwife told me it was a coup for a first-time mama to be able to side-lie.
Something that may have made it easier was that I made a nest for myself with my enormous wrap-around pregnancy pillow, and kind of wedged my boy in next to me. This was a little frustrating, actually, because I would then have to take the pillow off the bed when it was time to sleep, and my son was a very light sleeper. He only slept for fifteen-to-twenty-minute stretches for the first two or three weeks, so side-lying without the pillow was something I needed to learn to do as soon as humanly possible.


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## OliveJewel (Feb 7, 2008)

It *did* take longer with my first, which I had forgotten about. With my second I finally figured out to physically put the nipple in his mouth in the early stages, which made all the difference. It was one of those little "a-ha" moments and "why didn't I do this before?" With that technique, you can get in whatever position you want (pillows behind your back can be very helpful) and then just spoon up around the baby (who will be lying on his side). The baby will tuck their legs up and you can put the nipple in their mouth. My daughter (4mo) is a champion thumb-sucker, so I have to pull her thumb out and push her arms down away from her face and put the nipple in her mouth! If I don't pull her thumb out of her mouth she will fuss and cry with the nipple right there, but sucking on her thumb instead! Also, something that is kind of interesting in terms of sleeping with the baby at night is that once she is done nursing I have to physically move her away from me and onto her tummy. My boys were content to snuggle up to me and spoon with me all night long, but she can't sleep if she's touching me!

Like the others said, just keep at it and you will find what works for you! It will happen in a subtle way and before you know it you'll have your own system figured out!


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## Sweetsummer (Apr 29, 2011)

We didn't even try until LO was probably around 2 months old because like you said, I really needed to sit up straight with the boppy pillow and holding my breast in the correct position to get a good latch. I also have large breasts and it still becomes an issue here and there depending on our position. But I think we just happened to both be very sleepy during a nap one day sometime between 2-3 months and I just tried. It was wonderful! I was so proud! I still used the boppy a lot until more recently but we started nursing on our laying down a few times a day and then used the boppy the other times until my LO got so big (she's not 6 months) and can comfortably just lay in my arms to nurse while I sit. I go back and forth between holding my breast not, depending on she seems to be doing. I usually have my arm around her and use the other hand to position it correctly or just rub her legs or something. It definitely makes it easier for co-sleeping!


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## confab7 (Mar 17, 2009)

Hi Drbrockbaca, I don't have time to read all the responses-has anyone mentioned laid back breastfeeding and biological nurturing? These ideas for positioning, latch, etc. were discovered and researched by Suzanne Colson, a midwife and LC & researcher in England. Here is her website for videos, pictures, descriptions of her research etc. http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/ You can also find a qucik descriptiong here: http://www.llli.org/docs/0000000000000001WAB/WAB_Tear_sheet_Toolkit/01_laid_back_breastfeeding.pdf

Side lying is a great way to breastfeed. So is sitting up with a pillow-IF those positions work for the mom & baby, they are fine. But they both create a situation where gravity is pulling the baby off the nipple, which can cause latch pain, among other issues. Sitting up and crouching over a pillow may cause neck, back and shoulder strain and make breastfeeding truly uncomfortable for mom even when there is no nipple pain. This ideas behind biological nurturing are to use gravity and instinctual positioning to create a more natural and comfortable nursing position for both mom and baby. There are not lots of rules, its about getting comfortable & experimenting wiht the positioning that works for YOU and YOUR baby. Another piece is keeing baby with you and with easy access to the breasts most of the time in the early days. This way baby never (or rarely) becomes frantic or even mildly upset-it's right there and baby can calmly latch, even latch in sleep. A calm or asleep baby will usually latch better than an upset baby. A calm baby will also be more OK with being readjusted if the latch is hurting mom. Mom is calmer, baby is calmer, and that creates a situation where both mother and babies instinctual and hormonal connections & behaviors can flouish.

I am really simplifying this, but I have seen this work again and again when moms are having latch or positioning issues. It can feel awkward at first, and like with anything else, it only works if it works for YOU.

Also, when you are having breastfeeding issues of any kind it is vitaly important to get support. I suggest you contact your local La Leche League.


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## mytwomonkies (Mar 26, 2011)

We started right away in the hospital. It probably did take a little longer to get the hang of it with my first though. I think you've been given some good advice already, I just wanted to touch on the hour long nursing comment you made. With my first it took us a little longer for my milk to get good and established so my daughter would nurse for an hour-hour and a half and then want to nurse again in about 30 min. It was really draining but eventually my supply got established and it was much easier. Just hang in there! Also, we later found out that she had some food intolerances and thinking back she was probably nursing so much to soothe her tummy. May be worth looking into!


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## MamaLauna (Dec 31, 2009)

Try it lying on the floor before trying it in bed. This helped me figure out the logistics and get the latch right without my son rolling into me or under my breast. I would also suggest trying to lay more toward your tummy so you can bf with your right breast while laying on your left side...does that make sense? This is more manageable with larger breasts and some times gave relief to my back. Though I agree with others about having a pillow snug against your back for support when bfing on your side. Good luck!


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## FiveZip (Feb 23, 2010)

OP, I had the same "inefficient eater" problem. I never found out the cause, but it may have been due to my supply or how often my breasts let-down milk. Seriously, my DD used to nurse for good 45 miuteson EACH SIDE before getting full. I had 30 minutes of break to eat, shower, bathroom, or whatever before she needed me again. Those were exausting days. Until she was a good 2 months old, she often fell asleep latched on. My LLL leader told me that I should pump after each session to get my supply going. I think it helped a little, but never really improved the length of time DD nursed. I simply accepted that this was how my body worked or how DD nursed and didn't worry because she was gaining weight. I was glued to that chair for what seemed like forever and ever. In the meantime, I watched lots of movies on Netflix during the day and fell asleep in my nursing chair with DD at night. For some people, it really may be a medical issue, so I would try to rule out those things first.

I had a hard time nursing lying down in the beginning because I wasn't comfortable lying down with my arm over or under my body. I got pins and needles in my arm especially with how long DD nursed. Because I have small breasts, they didn't reach her with me lying somewhat on my back. The lying down method didn't work until my DD was about 4 or 5 months old. That is when I started taking her to the bed at night to nurse. This definitely helped a lot in getting my sleep. DD is almost 3 now and she won't nurse any other way. She always pushes my body down to the bed when she wants to nurse. Luckily, she stopped nursing outside of the house at 1.5 years.

Good luck! As many have already said, it WILL work in time.


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## Agatha_Ann (Apr 5, 2009)

I'm on baby 5 and all of my kids have nursed this way from day one except number 4 who was over a year before he would finally do it! I was so exhausted having to sit up all night! I am flat as a pancake, fully engorged at a B cup, and the breast closest to the bed is easiest for me. The top breast I practically have to lay on top of the baby to make contact. So I either offer the top breast first so then I can fall asleep while they nurse on the bottom, or I roll over to switch sides.


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## Angela Aloisi (Jun 17, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Marissamom*
> 
> with my first, she was about 2-2.5 month old when we figured it out, with my second we did when he was hours old. I have yet to talk to mom who could early on with her first.


I would have been sunk without that position with my first. She was born in a hospital, and thanks to the advice of the doctors, I ended up with a pulled sciatic nerve and couldn'st hardly move even in bed for weeks! My next 3 were easier, but I still took the lazy way and ended up keeping them in bed with me a lot. It never occured to me that it was hard to figure out. I'm small breasted, and my babies are huge, so maybe that helped. I also did the baby on top and lying across me position. I believe that is a good one for large breasted woman. I always use a pillow inbetween the legs and behind baby with the side position too. It probably looks like I'm lying on my baby when I switch sides and lean over the baby onto my pillow with my leg bent way around baby. Probably most people just turn over and put baby on the other side of you, but I hate the transition and like him getting nice and sleepy. I've never had a sleepy medicated or small baby though, so I never worried about the sleepy baby problem.


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## heartnbutterfly (May 17, 2011)

Hi,

I have a 5 month old daughter that I've been nursing in bed since birth. I learned the trick when my oldest daughter (now 13) was about a week old, & it's been a life saver! I'd be a zombie without knowing how to. I actually have 2 techniques for nursing in bed.

1) Laying on side. You can put a rolled up towel or blanket behind baby's back for support (I just wad up my blanket). The tricky part is lining up baby's mouth just right with your nipple, & you'll have to spend a min or two adjusting where baby is. You will be offering the nipple that is closest to the matress. Once you get baby latched on, you can just rest your upper arm on your side, & you can place the arm closest to the matress around baby's back if you're comfy that way or just bend your elbow & tuck your hand wherever it feels most comfy so that your arm is above baby's head. Once you get the hang of this you'll be shocked at how easy it is! My baby sleeps in a bassinet next to my bed for 5 - 7 hrs, wakes up to nurse & then comes to bed with me for the remainder of sleeping. From that point on I nurse her every 2 hrs - always on my side. As soon as she's latched on, we both doze off.

2) Sometimes I like to lean back & relax, watch tv or read, & nurse at the same time. I pile pillows up at the head of the bed, sit up & get her latched on, & then just lean back until I'm more or less laying on my back but in a reclined way (not completely flat). She's more or less laying on her side on top of me, with her body stretched across me. I only need to place one arm behind her to keep her positioned properly, & the other arm is free. I've fallen asleep like this before. It's a comfy way to nap, but I don't feel like it's as safe for baby as the side lying position.

Good luck! You can do it!


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## MissTracy (Oct 9, 2010)

I could have written your original question a couple of months ago!

I'm pretty large up top, too, in the neighborhood of a 40H, give or take. I had all these fuzzy romantic dreams of sidelying in bed, sleeping through those first few tough weeks, and just being glowing super breastfeeding mom. Ummm...no.

We had some struggles at first (some really bad ones for a while, actually) and the first two weeks were full of ups and downs. Nursing was a team effort with my husband helping, getting nursing pillows just right, sometimes propping up her head with more pillow/towel, and all sorts of various helping aides. I tried lying down and there was just no way I could do that early on. People would say "oh, just put a little burp cloth under your breast to support it." No. I don't need a burp cloth. I need *scaffolding*! 

By two weeks we were through a good portion of the learning curve. By six weeks, we were through the classic learning curve and doing great. I felt confident, I NIP'd all the time, I still used pillows for support but no longer needed too many extra helpers. I did still need a c-hold because these 40H's have a gravity of their own and my DD couldn't hold the breast in her mouth well enough against that kind of force. 

I would try periodically, but it still wasn't quite right. Sidelying involved a lot of shifting, maneuvering, setting it up just so, and so forth. That isn't what I wanted in the middle of the night. So, I kept up with sitting up in bed. I would wake a good bit, but in time and with practice could almost doze sitting up in bed with her. I keep a pillow vertical on my headboard. Another pillow to sleep on that becomes a support for her when she wakes/nurses. Book light on her cosleeper to give me just a little bit of lighting to help her latch.

A couple weeks ago when she was 3 months old, we started trying again and she's really getting it now! She has essentially full head control, can support herself pretty well on her side, and all around just is bigger (actually, she's huge!  and can handle more stuff on her own. She latches pretty much by herself now. I still mostly use a c-hold to help her latch onto the planetoid that is my breast, but occasionally, in some positions, I can let go. I figure in another month or three, she'll really be able to hold the breast herself and my arms/hands will finally be completely free.

So, we've been practicing and she's been loving it as much as I. Sometimes she lays flat on the bed and turns towards my breast. Not the best way for swallowing, but she's old enough now that I'm not as concerned with it as she seems to be intrigued and delighted by the position. Other times, we lay tummy to tummy. Sometimes she can support herself there just fine, sometimes I pull my husband's pillow up behind her so she doesn't have to focus on keeping herself on her side.

I can nurse either boob (top or bottom) in those positions. It varies which works best. Haven't figured out the subtle differences in why it works better/worse from time to time, but I'm sure we will.

She positively loves the position and gets all excited/flappy when she sees we're about to do that. It's adorable! We actually both fell asleep nursing the other day in that position and it was heavenly! She frequently falls asleep like that now, and once she's done I often fall asleep, too.

It still takes some support on my part, holding my breast in a modified c-hold. This can be a pain since it means my upper arm is often busy/having to work against gravity, but I'm getting better at it and have found variations that make it easier. In another couple weeks I bet we'll be able to reduce that. This work, though, does tend to keep me awake a bit. And, just watching her/being fascinated with this new "trick" also delights me so much it's hard to sleep until she's done. 

She's now about a week away from 4 months...so it might take you a while as well. But keep trying and I bet you'll see baby step improvements along the way. We're only doing this during the day or for naps right now. Not yet ready to try to do this in the middle of the night, sleepy, maneuvering in the dark. We will be soon enough though and I know it will be wooooonderful. Good luck and know that it probably can be done, but is another serious learning curve for many of us.

Blessings,Tracy


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## Beth DeRoos (Jul 27, 2011)

I had DD breasts at the time, and found that putting a pillow behind my back as a brace so I was a tad on my side helped a lot with lining up the breast and nipple for my son. A friend with large breasts as well found laying her baby on a firmish pillow help the baby be next to the nipple. Even laying semi on my tummy with one breast available for my son, worked as he could be on the bed with the nipple more like a bottle nipple in his mouth. Try new ideas and you will find what works best for you. I wish you well.


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## aurajp (Aug 9, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> Well, my baby has difficulty latching in any position. I have to hold my breast for her and roll my nipple into her mouth while holding her head and neck with the other hand and bringing her head to my breast. She's just not nursing well generally. I've been to the lactation clinic 5 times in the last 3 1/2 weeks. They actually had me try using a nipple shield (my nipples are kind of flat and soft), which seems to be helping her latch on and she nurses longer with it. But now I'm afraid that is going to interfere with her breastfeeding on my bare breast. I'm not sure what to do. But when they weighed her before and after breastfeeding with and without the nipple shield, she got more with it than without it. So I don't know what to do! It's very difficult to get her to nurse. She has trouble latching on, and she's not an efficient eater - she will nurse for an hour and only get about half an ounce to an ounce. Part of this is because she always goes to sleep almost as soon as I put her to the breast, so she is pausing a lot and not sucking hard enough and continuously. I do everything I can to stimulate her (tickling, talking, rubbing her with a wet washcloth, blowing on her, etc.), but it just isn't enough. I'm also struggling with juggling pumping and nursing. I want to let her nurse as long as she wants, but then I don't have time to do anything else (pump, eat, sleep, etc.). I think it would help if we could nurse lying down so at least I could rest a little.
> 
> ...


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## KoalaBear (Apr 29, 2010)

I would wait a few more weeks and try it again. I have breastfed both of my daughters while in bed, but I remember getting impatient with my second daughter when she was newborn because I couldn't get her to latch while I was laying down. I think she was at least six weeks or even two months old before we got the hang of nursing laying down. Make sure your baby is a very good nurser in the standard position (cradle or football) and has a very good latch. Once she's mastered that, start trying to lay down. Occasionally, I could have the baby latch sitting up and then gradually lower us both to a laying down position, but usually it worked better just to lay both of us down and then latch her on. So be patient and keep trying -- she'll grow into it!

Bonnie (mom of Sunshine, 3, and Lilibet, 1)

http://thekoalabearwriter.blogspot.com


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## DrBrockBaca (Jan 17, 2011)

We did it! Sort of. We've been using a nipple shield because of various problems, but I've been trying to get rid of it. I had only tried side-lying nursing without the nipple shield and couldn't get my baby to latch, but she did it easily with the nipple shield. So at least in the middle of the night, I'm just going to use the shield for a while until she gets better at latching without it. If we don't use the shield, I have to use the "teacup" hold on my breast and basically roll my nipple into her mouth with one hand while pushing her head to my breast with my other hand. This is of course impossible in the side-lying position. So for now, I guess we will just keep using the nipple shield for that position.  Thanks for all the advice, though! Hopefully soon we can get rid of the shield. But I slept for an hour today while she nursed! Yay!


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## Kanna (May 23, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> We did it! Sort of. We've been using a nipple shield because of various problems, but I've been trying to get rid of it. I had only tried side-lying nursing without the nipple shield and couldn't get my baby to latch, but she did it easily with the nipple shield. So at least in the middle of the night, I'm just going to use the shield for a while until she gets better at latching without it. If we don't use the shield, I have to use the "teacup" hold on my breast and basically roll my nipple into her mouth with one hand while pushing her head to my breast with my other hand. This is of course impossible in the side-lying position. So for now, I guess we will just keep using the nipple shield for that position.  Thanks for all the advice, though! Hopefully soon we can get rid of the shield. But I slept for an hour today while she nursed! Yay!


Congratulations!!!


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## ddietrichLA (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi --

Just wanted to add (in case this wasn't on one of the pages beyond the first one) that it was WAY easier for me to use the opposite boob for my bed-feeding. Let's say you're lying on your right side and your baby is next to you on your right (obviously). Use your left breast to feed him/her. It will be much easier to balance your body, not hurt your back, and get your nipple in the baby's mouth without contorting your neck and arms. When I finally got this advice, I was amazed by how much easier it was to side feed (I was baffled by it before that). I was all propped up with boppies before that, too!

Hope this helps!

~Deborah









Mama to Alexandra (7)


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## mad4mady (Dec 29, 2006)

I asked the same question at my LLL meeting when dd was 2 weeks. She is now 8 week old and I started nursing laying down when she was about 6 week, I tried before that but she just didn't have the head control to do it well. At 8 weeks she does really well at it and I can nurse her from both breast laying down on the side she is laying on. Give it a few more weeks and you will be in business!!!


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## SaltCreek76 (Feb 20, 2005)

Hi, Just wanted to say absoulutely, it can and in my opinion should, be done. I don't know how mom's survive the first few mos. of life without nursing in bed!! As for how, I just laid him on my side and let him nurse... not really sure how to describe it other than that. As for how early, with my 2nd I started in the hospital from day one- I was exhausted and we both fell asleep with him nursing. The nurse came in a yelled at me and wanted me to put him in the little plastic box to sleep, but I thought that was ridiculous, and the nurse on the next shift was much more understanding and left us alone.

My only caution is, if you make it a habit, it's a hard one to break. My son is 2 and 4 mos old now and still wants to go to sleep that way. My husband and I have gotten frustrated with hom being in our bed and taking over the whole King sized mattress and leaving us on the edges or falling off! Anyone reading this with suggestions for how to get him into his bed at this age, I welcome your comments! Good luck with the nursing 

Melissa


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## Kanna (May 23, 2011)

LOL. Actually, we let DD sleep on the outside sometimes. The right side has a baby balsony that keeps her in, but on the other side, we put an airmattress, so if she falls, she'll fall softly.

When she was small and she'd take her nap alone (I bf her til she was sleeping, but then detached and left to get stuff done), and she had started to roll around in her sleep, we had the whole bed surrounded by airmattresses and soft cushions!


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## IamLuna (Jun 18, 2007)

I nursed both of mine, and started on the first day. I have DD breasts. It helps that I was comfortable nursing right away (my second daughter was trickier, but we worked it out.) I think the key thing was to pull their bodies right up against me--it was as if we made a 'V', with my breast spanning across the top. I would latch them on, and then immediately snug their lower bodies up against me. My lower arm was over their heads and my upper arm did all the arranging. My torso rolled away just slightly(even with the baby up-close to me) which kept my upper breast out of the way. A pillow behind is helpful, but I didn't always need one. When it was time to switch, I just grabbed the baby and rolled her over the top of me to the other side, and we switched breasts (I had one of those toddler sides, that insert between the mattresses, with a towel rolled up in the crack just in case, to keep them from falling off the side--it worked perfectly.) After we were proficient with that, I could nurse from either breast on either side, just by rolling my torso towards or away from the baby.

Snugging their bodies right up close to me was the key, it kept their bodies/necks/heads in a straight line so they weren't inclined to pop off--no one likes to drink with their head arched back! And snugging them up close makes a super snuggly baby--I really miss the cuddly snuggly days of sleeping skin-to-skin with my kids, now that they are out of our bed. (I nursed to 3 and 4 years--the 4 y.o. self-weaned thoughtfully and deliberately on her 4th birthday and moved into her own bed permenently then--she'd been in and out before that.

I was a single mom with my first, and breastfeeding saved my sanity--I need my sleep! My kids are 10 and 14 now.

Good luck!

Luna


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## wake_up (Aug 1, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *phuston*
> 
> I usually prop the baby's head up on my upper arm in the crook of my underarm to start and then roll into her to get the latch. It gets easier as they get older and gain neck control, but I started pretty early with all of mine out of convenience -and the fact that with twins I 'd never get any sleep if I couldn't nurse in bed. Which leads to an important point - Be Careful. This quickly turns into co-sleeping, which many people don't recommend, particularly with the newbies. If you're a heavy sleeper, really deprived of sleep (hence likely to quickly go into a very deep sleep) or tend to thrash around, don't attempt this until you're more rested and not likely to fall dead asleep).


Cosleeping isn't usually dangerous unless you're under the influence of drugs - your mama bear senses will keep you aware of the baby even when asleep. You don't fall out of bed when you're really tired, do you? You know, even in your sleep, where the edge of the bed is. In the same way, you'll know where your baby is. Saving cosleeping for when you're not very tired doesn't make any sense to me. When I'm very tired (um, the past 4 years or so?) is when I really need to cosleep/nurse in bed! You might want to check out the Family Bed forum here for info on safe cosleeping if you're worried about it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DrBrockBaca*
> 
> We did it! Sort of. We've been using a nipple shield because of various problems, but I've been trying to get rid of it. I had only tried side-lying nursing without the nipple shield and couldn't get my baby to latch, but she did it easily with the nipple shield. So at least in the middle of the night, I'm just going to use the shield for a while until she gets better at latching without it. If we don't use the shield, I have to use the "teacup" hold on my breast and basically roll my nipple into her mouth with one hand while pushing her head to my breast with my other hand. This is of course impossible in the side-lying position. So for now, I guess we will just keep using the nipple shield for that position.  Thanks for all the advice, though! Hopefully soon we can get rid of the shield. But I slept for an hour today while she nursed! Yay!


Congratulations! Welcome to the sidelying club! You're gonna love it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SaltCreek76*
> 
> My only caution is, if you make it a habit, it's a hard one to break. My son is 2 and 4 mos old now and still wants to go to sleep that way. My husband and I have gotten frustrated with hom being in our bed and taking over the whole King sized mattress and leaving us on the edges or falling off! Anyone reading this with suggestions for how to get him into his bed at this age, I welcome your comments! Good luck with the nursing
> 
> Melissa


No suggestions here on how to get him out of your bed, but I think 2 years is kind of early for that. Again, this is coming from the perspective of an intentional cosleeper - we didn't "make it a habit," we did it on purpose (check out the Family Bed forum, really!) so that means I think it's easiest, most beneficial, and most comfy for all involved at our house to do nighttime parenting if the kid is in bed with us. That said, our 3.5 yo son is in his little bed most nights now, by his choice - our bed is more crowded now with the new baby, and he likes his own space.

Something I found that's been helpful both in DS's bed and ours are these: http://www.magicbumpers.com/

they keep DS from falling out of his little bed, and we're also using them on the big bed so baby can sleep on the outside sometimes. Maybe you could try that with your 2yo and see if sleeping on the outside helps him take up less space? I know it stinks getting kicked in the head and feeling crowded out of bed.


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## tidepool (Mar 18, 2008)

My baby is 3 weeks as well. We have been nursing side lying since pretty early, since I was so sore sitting up. I did it like this. Got her latched on while sitting and then moved to lying on my back so that she was nursing on my belly. For awhile even that was enough relief for me. Then I rolled to my side keeping her attached and settling her onto her side. Her head was on my arm. When she loses the latch it's a bit frustrating for her because my nipple isn't in the same orientation as when sitting. I use my other hand to shape the breast so that she can get it in her mouth. Sometimes it works and sometimes we return to sitting. Eventually I got so that I could go from sitting to lying down with her attached in one movement. Now we can start lying down, in fact, last night I woke up at 2am and she was nursing with both of us on our sides and I don't remember how she got started! Really we're only starting to get comfortable with it and we've been practicing it a lot. I think that's what it takes - practice.

Just keep trying. If baby gets frustrated with the process remind him/her that you're both learning and that you will figure it out.

All the best.


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## mamakat777 (Sep 6, 2007)

I have done it since my babies were newborns and it helps you get so much more rest although it is true that babies tend to end up preferring it anything else. You can combat that by laying them down by themselves for naps when they are done nursing. I know everyone says not to but I find they are much more likely to sleep on their own if they sleep on their tummies and if the mattress is safely wrapped for SIDS prevention I don't see anything wrong with tummy sleeping. It's the only way my babies sleep.

That said, here's how I nurse/cosleep in the side lying position and keep my babies safe and happy.

*Lay down w/ both of you on your sides, tummy to tummy. It's better for baby's spine than to be on back with head twisted to side.

*I have med/lrg breasts so in the beginning I have to hold my breast back a bit from baby's nose so he/she can breathe on my larger side. You can also lean just a bit back on a pillow so that the breast in totally blocking baby's face.

*I ALWAYS have my baby's head resting in the crook of my elbow. This is the most important thing. It serves many purposes. 1) It keeps baby's head slightly up so gravity helps milk go/stay down and not come back up. 2) My elbow out to my side like that acts as a kind of kickstand so that it's very hard for me to roll onto baby after I fall asleep. 3) My arm there prevents hubby from rolling onto baby on the off chance he migrates over. 4) It helps keep baby from rolling out and away from me onto the floor, etc. 4) It's more comfy for baby, I think. Imagine laying on your side w/o anything under your head-ouch. You'd need a chiropractor after a while!

*I never sleep on the inside of the bed where baby could potentially roll between the wall and mattress.

*I have a large pillow laying length-wise on the outside of the bed to keep baby away from edge and to keep head away from nightstand corners just in case although my arm keeps baby safe--it's a precaution. With my first baby I actually had a bassinet on my side of the bed so she could roll safely into it but it never happened. I also rolled up a receiving blanket and had it behind her back so she wouldn't roll.

*I would say a prayer for God to protect her and keep her safe every night before falling asleep.

*I used a light sheet to cover us up and didn't share a blanket with my husband, especially if baby was in the middle. If he pulls up on the blanket baby could get head caught under it. You really have to be most careful with blanket use. Wear long sleeves to bed if you get cold and just pull blanket up to your hips.

*You may have to get baby latched on sitting up at first--you'll be pros in no time!

Good luck!


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## shantibaby (Nov 8, 2010)

my lil man is 12 months, and a great eater, but there were difficulties at first, just be patient.... most nipples/breasts and babies figure it all out eventually...

what i haven't seen here yet is about using either breast per side.... at first i just used the bed-side bottom breast. but sometimes i feel i need to lay on my side opposite the breast i need to use, so then i just rotate my body to move the top breast down towards him and he latches onto it instead. sometimes now if the bottom breast gets empty, he'll get up and pull the bra down on the top side and latch on himself  then i move from the side/back of my ribs to the side/front of my ribs. feels good to change! when you are using the bottom breast, i highly recommend putting a pillow behind you.... so nice. and a pillow between your knees/ankles. aaaaahhh....

lil man was sleeping, woke up hungry, just ran in to top him off, lol! and i used the top breast  which reminded me.... two more things....

when baby was younger, for my head i used a smaller square pillow, like a couch pillow, in a regular pillow case. i now use a normal pillow for my head again, sometimes he uses it too.

the top arm! in the beginning, i would put my bottom arm above his head. but if i put my top arm over his head too, i felt in my sleep i might forget and elbow him in his tiny fragile head! because i nearly did once. so, i would usually tuck my wrist in between my legs, and the tension would hold my top arm in place. or i would sometimes find a comfortable balance on the side of my body. or, if you're using the pillow behind your back, on the pillow! but now, my sleeping self is fully rewired to unconsciously know that a small human is in my belly/breast area and i can put my top arm up and over him and there have been no issues of bonking him accidently.

good luck!


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## shantibaby (Nov 8, 2010)

oops.... guess i only saw the first page of responses, that's why i thought that hadn't been covered yet.  plenty of us actually!


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## DrBrockBaca (Jan 17, 2011)

I really appreciate all the advice! Two weeks ago I got rid of the nipple shield completely, and for a week or so I couldn't get her to latch while I was lying on my side, but a couple of days ago she did! She's still not really great at it and needs help, but we are working on it. I have to prop my self up on my elbow and use my bottom arm to put my nipple in her mouth and use my top arm to hold her in place. After she is latched for a few minutes and sucking well, I will slowly slide my bottom arm down. She doesn't stay latched as long in this position, but I am determined to keep practicing and make it work! I am afraid she doesn't get as much milk this way, though. Usually when she nurses I have to keep stimulating her or she will fall asleep, but if I am lying on my side I fall asleep, so then we just both end up asleep. Hopefully it will get better though!


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## kids are grown now (May 30, 2006)

hi

Yes I nursed my son lying down all the time. He is now 32 years old and it seems he was just a few weeks old. I am large breasted and don't recall much problem with it. I would lie down on my side or if he was nursing and wanted the other side I would sometimes move him to that side or other times roll more on my stomach to make the opposite side breast more accessible.

This was shocking to me. I had unfortunately my first and remember how exhausting it was as I had to wake up, go downstairs, get the bottle, warm it up, test on wrist, wait till it cooled enough, go back upstairs and feed him being sure the bottle did not tip and get any air into him and then pat and burp him and put hoim back to bed.. All this definitely woke me up. Later I bought a bottle warmer so I could warm it up upstairs at least.

With my younger who I nursed on demand till he weaned at age 4, feeding was a snap. We had a family bed and often he just found the breast himself while I was sleeping and nursed. It seems he feel asleep wrapping himself near the breast so he could find it when he wanted to. Sometimes I woke up when he woke me up and gave him the breast. I barely had to wake up..this was wonderful as this child wanted to nurse all the time. I remember trying to do my housework at 3 am as he sleep then and I could slip away. sometimes I had to do it at 3am with my son in a front baby carrier.I was able to get rest I would nto have gotten had I not been able to sleep the whole time he was nursing.

The difference in convenience between my 2 sons was amazing. I also remember nursing him in bed with him lying across my chest with me on my back. The memory of seeing him sleeping there so close as I breathed in his wonder and filled me with love and awe is still vivid in my mind all these years later.

I remember when I felt exhausted or sleep deprived, getting 2 yard sticks and lying them end to end and reminding myself..this is my son's whole life plus more inches and I will noit be much needed during many of these years, he will be on his own and not needing me..certainly not with the urgency he now needed me with..I reminded myself this is the dearst person in the world to me and realized these trouble and sacrifices and sleepless nights were a small price to pay to be able to be a mother...it it only an inch or so that he will have this intense need for me and when I saw that, it put things in prospective.

Often those intense early weeks of exhaution I saw were really ijust a fraction of an inch in his while lifespan, he would not be sleeping through he night and this made me happy, I could put him first when he really really needed me and made me feel more fulfilled that to this little person, I was the MOST important person in his life. He adored me and I felt so nurturing and loving when my kids were small and never have I despite being an extremely nurturing person by nature felt so womanly and happy to meet someone;s needs. Those years are such a treasure..and they will be for you too...you just have to get through them knowing this will not be forever and this, too, will pass and actually all too quickly. when we give the breast and us we are changing the course of our child's life..during that crucail time when Erick Erickson says a child learns lifelong trust versus mistrust (age 0-2) plus a myriad of other benefits many lifelong. You want to enjoy this time as things like this will not be there forever,. Trust me--I know and happily I can look back and say I did not miss my childrens childhood but relished it.

I suggest starting out sitting on the bed while your child latches on and then gradually leaning back and slowly getting more into a lying down position till baby gets used to it. Once you are comfortable that is is working well, you even try sleeping with it. Till then do slow breathing and relaxing techniques to get the most of your lying down time. Make sure the baby is latched on correctly. I was overweight and somewhat worried maybe I would roll over on the baby but of course never did.

I had been an extremely sound sleeper..in fact, when I was little could wake me up. I remember my dad having to throw cold water on me and even pull the mattress of the bed to awaken me and that worried me, but I discovered with my child I woke up right away with the smallest sound and we never had any problems with sleeping or nursing while sleeping and lying down.

I suggest calling LaLeche League and talking to some leaders. If you cannot find any in your city, if you have free long distance or a phone card, call some in other cities. sometimes they are listed in the paper on the day when they list events and happenings (generally Sunday) or in the phone book.

They will be able to calm any fears and give you a lot of suggestions on how to do this. If you are not connecting with one lady, try another.

I would also ask them about the long amount of time she is taking to nurse and empty the breast. Maybe switch sides after 10 minutes or so she will be getting the fattier foremilk and be more filled up.. the more she nurses and the more vigorous the more milk you will produce. Keep trying and try to drink some relaxing tea and breathe deep so any worries and frustrations are not picked up that might be making things worst. Visualize it being successful and know you will be able to do this. Be patient. The nursing relationship is just starting and sometimes takes a while to all work out but stick with it as the rewards are so wonderful. she has time to learn and even though you think you won't be able to make it without rest, you will. All those things I worried over and fretted about now seem so small but at the time they seemed so big. things I thought would never pass or end, did.

Be sure to see if you can get someone to help relive you so you can rest during that time. Maybe barter with another mom to trade some time watching each others babies and that way it will not cost anyone anything. Try to make some friends with people in a group that you can get to know and trust help and learn from and have some happy, built in playmates for your daughter down the road. Many times my friends in La League group would let me call them day or night and talk to me as long as I needed it showing me with their actions how to be a better and more nurturing mother, gently nudging me to have a healthier diet with our picnics. parties, snacks during meetings as I wanted to fit it and that lead to me now eating such a healthy diet and a 30 year interest in nutrition, herbs and alternate health that has enabled me to help thousands of sick people. League changed the course of my life. It was the most nurturing I ever have been, I learned how to be an excellent mother by watching excellent mothers.

I highly suggest you go to a group and see if you can benefit from this and give it a fair try before stopping as I was involved for well over a decade and kept learning. If you do not have any people who might help watch the baby while you take a nap or get out once in a while, look to family or maybe try finding people at a church or something who might want to trade time so they can also have some free time to allow them to come back refreshed.

Even if it does not work out (but it will) try not to stress over it too much. Take this time to remind yourself in a while you will be able to go back to getting enough sleep and take this time to enjoy this blessed gift because trust it passes all too quickly. We who are mothers are blessed even though at times it does not feel like a blessing, but it is..there is nothing like being able to nurture. love, and rear a person and it is very satisfying and fun and endearing and hectic and all those things that parenting becomes.


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## kids are grown now (May 30, 2006)

@ wake up

excellent post..I highly agree with all you said.. I practiced cosleeping after reading the book the family bed when my son was born in 1979..in fact, invited my older son back in there too.

One day after a long, long time, my older son decided to move back to his room and my youngest decided to go with him and they slept together in the same bed for some time and cuddled and now that they are both grown they are very close. In fact, they are closer to each other than they are to me and already got along great.

I was a very sound sleeper but instantly woke up the second my son made the slightest noise and never ever rolled on him etc just like you stay.

I also feel the woman looking for suggestions on how to get her son in his own bed, needs to consider that though it may be at times inconvenient etc, the benefits this practice will have on his psyche will be well well worth it. Just like child led weaning, kids will tell you when they are ready to move on to the next stage and they all do with time.

He is lucky she had him in there and nursed him and I am sure she will if she thinks about what this means to her child will reconsider. I followed the crappy advice of the day to let my son cry it out though every cell in my body was longing to go in that room the next day I found he was sucking his thumb and rubbing the silky edge of the blanket to self sooth. He remained a thumb sucker till he was 9 and rubbed the "creamy" of the blanket often as he carried the blanket with him where ever he went for the longest time.

What a mistake..he had learned what I did not want to teach--to gain comfort from an object instead of a living breathing person.

I typed a long thing on this which I decided not to post and it made me cry even though he is 38 years old now. I cried because I always felt I let him down and after that mistake of listening to the wrong "experts" I did what "I" thought was right not what may have been in fashion or typical for the day..doing all the things few did back then despite people complaining and worrying..I did Lamaze (still rare back then)m family bed, marsupial mothering, on demand breastfeeding, health food, child led weaning till age 4 (he also nursed when he asked at age 5 when he broke his arm on the way to the hospital) etc.

I did not do what doctors said if I disagreed and they got mad too and told me none of their other moms ever questioned/challenged them and did what he said without a question..if I could not I would have done a home birth. I got flack even yesterday when I refused a surprise mammogram the doctor said to do as I did not feel this was the right thing for me--they actually had 4 nurses and a doctor try to change my mind and they looked angry that I dared refuse this test) and I lived my life now as I feel is right not everyone else.

I learned to have moral courage and made sure to pass that value on to my children--to always do what was right even if they stood alone or were ostracized. But it is too bad I had to learn that I am the best expert of what is right for me and my kids then not some book export at the expense of my son. I am sure he does not care at all, but it bothers me that I did not let him stay in the bedroom or better yet the bed. I love the family bed...it was a wonderful decision and I am glad I read that book that was preaching something that helped not hurt my child.


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## kids are grown now (May 30, 2006)

ooh just saw your latest post. Yay..I knew you could do it and it will get better. You all are just getting into the groe of things. Soon you will both be pros and helping others who are new succeed.

Dedicated moms can do anything they set their minds to.


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