# naked cosleeping?



## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

nak
me, dh, & 7m.o. ds all sleep naked (except for ds' dipe). my question is, when does this stop being appropriate? and should we all start wearing unders now so that one day i dont have to suddenly make a big deal about it, kwim? please help- this is a big issue for me. we are very naked people, and we dont want ds to think being naked is inherently sexual, because its not. however nakedness in bed, when you are all cuddling together, is definetely not appropriate past a certain age (at what age, i dont know), imo. what do you all think?????


----------



## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

:2bfbabe:


----------



## mama ganoush (Jul 8, 2004)

well, I CAN'T sleep with clothes on. It is impossible for me. and dp often sleeps naked as well. dd is 4 and she usually has pj's on, or at least underwear. But, she can't stand having sheets or covers on her. So, even though she spends pretty much all night on top of me, she's not really cuddling with a naked mama, more like a naked mama with a sheet and comforter over her.


----------



## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

Ds, 2.5, sleeps with us part of the time. Half the time, he doesn't wear any bottoms because he either refuses to put them on, or because he wets his underpants in the middle of the night and doesn't want to be bothered to put on dry ones.

DH and I always wear undies. I don't really know the answer to your question. I probably wouldn't even think twice about it until at least 2 or 3. But yes, I do think there comes a time when it may not be the best for the child. At under one year, at least, I think it is wonderful--all that skin to skin contact is so good for them.


----------



## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

We are not a naked family. My parents were big on being naked and continued to do so long after the point where I became uncomfortable with it. They even complained if I brought friends over because they felt they were required to dress if company came. Frankly, seeing my mother sitting cross-legged, nude, was a gross-out by age 10 or 11.

I think it becomes inappropriate whenever any member of the family, whether it be child or adult, feels uncomfortable. Even if you and your spouse are totally okay with nudity, it's highly likely that your child will be around families who are not, and they will pick up messages about nudity and sexuality from them. Up until the point if/when someone expresses discomfort with the practice, I'd say to just continue on.

But I suggest you not do what my parents did.....which was basically tell me that I was a prude and that I learned all these "hang-ups" from ignorant people, and that I just needed to suck it up because they were going to walk around naked even if it bothered me, and that I'd get over it.


----------



## mcmrymoon (Jul 31, 2003)

i sleep naked. i've done it for years and it is much easier to nurse like that. ds is 5 and started wanting to sleep in his underwear. we all (dh, ds and myself) shower together. nakedness is no big deal for us. having said that though - i keep thinking i should maybe start wearing something (mainly since i need to get used to it :LOL) because chris won't be 5 forever! kwim? anyway - kids tell you when it becomes weird. i say - keep going - you have plenty of time.


----------



## grnbn76 (Mar 3, 2004)

I haven't slept with a shirt on in a very long time. it's just easier to nurse if I'm not covered up. Usually, I sleep naked.
Dh sleeps in underwear or sweatpants (I don't know HOW he can stand that!).
The kids pretty much sleep in diapers or onesies for as long as they sleep with us. If my older kids come in, I don't jump up to put a shirt on. If I get out of bed, I throw on a shirt or nightgown on my way to wherever I'm going.
If our kids show that they are uncomfortable with nakedness, then of course, we respect that. But between nursing and the fact that I haven't bathed alone in about 7 years, nobody seems to be too uncomfortable yet.


----------



## Diane~Alena (Aug 23, 2004)

We are a naked family too, I think it is so imortant to be naked around your kids so they know that it is ok to be naked and the naked body isn't something to be ashamed of. My son told us when it was time for us to sleep with undies on, it was the day he said "put your undies on" lol he was about 3 and he didn't like it so he voiced it. I say do what feels right for you and your own.


----------



## darkpear (Jul 22, 2003)

We used to be nude around the house a lot too, and always in bed. Unfortunately, dd became fascinated by any sort of protruding or dangly body part quite early, so we both had to start wearing at least boxers - and a t-shirt for me, otherwise dd will nurse allllll the time if awake, or grab my breasts in her sleep (yow!).

We do still both (not at once, no room) shower with her though, she's too busy splashing and having fun to get grabby in there.


----------



## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

thanks for all the replies. . . . im glad im not the only naked cosleeper! you all brought up very good points. i guess we'll just continue on with the nakedness, and reevaluate in a few months.


----------



## _jenn (Jul 1, 2004)

thought id put my 2cents in
i could have laughed my pants off (if i had any on) when ds2(aged 4) asked me to wear underwear to bed. he is at the hieght where if our heads are level on the pillow, his foot is also level with my crotch. his foot would inevidably end up there once in a while..

so he told me "mommy thats gose (thats evan for gross), put some unerwear on" ever since then i put it on. sometimes i wear a bra or top, but mostly i am topless....(why not, they all get to be!) besides theyve seen be bf so much that they arent sensitive to that.


----------



## mammabear (Oct 21, 2002)

I started wearing underware when DS ended up putting his feet in my unmentionable places. He is simply amazed at what daddy is packing so DH tries to keep the blankets tucked around him.
Both DH and I are not comfortable sleeping with clothes on in bed.


----------



## Baby Hopes (Jul 15, 2004)

Dh has *always* slept with shorts and socks. (Those _socks... don't get me started_.) He has often asked me how I can stand sleeping naked or even just in underwear. lol. Recently, since DD's birth I have started wearing at least T-shirt. Mainly because I tend to leak and the T-shirt absorbs some of that, and now that DD is a tad older she's very grabby at night. Nothing wakes a person up faster than a nipple in a pinch hold.


----------



## Electra375 (Oct 2, 2002)

I think if you are a naked family then you shouldn't cover up just b/c your dc is a certain age. It sends a message contrary to the one being naked is sending. Being naked says I'm okay w/ my body and you should be okay with yours. Covering up takes that message as screws it up.

Now, I'm not the naked type, but I don't care if my boys see me dressing or getting out of the shower. (my mother would freak) I don't get funny about it (yet), thats not to say I might change my mind as they get older. I'm having a problem with the thought of my teenage son walking in on my dressing or using the bathroom









As for sleeping, dh never wears clothes to bed. I usually wear something, but sometimes nothing. DD wears pjs, the A/C is a little too chilling I think, plus I sleep with the fan on -- I'm pp hot!!!


----------



## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Uhhh, I started wearing panties when DD's toes were always winding around in my pubes. Ick & Ouch.

Other than that I wouldn't care. DD is 5.5 and sleeps on and off in our bed and I (in the summer) only wear panties. DD & DS wear diapers, DH wears boxers and usually an undershirt. We will change when the kids request it or start insisiting on wearing pajamas theirselves


----------



## Fletchersmama (May 23, 2003)

Another naked family here! I have also worried about when, exactly it would be inappropriate to be sleeping naked with ds. Most night ds and I are naked and dh is in boxers. But we are also all naked around the house together.
Tadpoles, sorry about your parents lack of consideration! I know dh and I would be very sensitive to ds's feelings (will be, I should say) when he lets us know he's not comfortable with it.


----------



## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

I haven't a clue. DH sleeps nude, I do on occasion. the girls usually climb into bed with us at some point during the night. I think well their sleep so their not noticing anything right now. If he knows they will be sleeping with us he will wear shorts to bed.


----------



## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

I used to love sleeping naked. One night, after having a racy dream about dh, I started worrying about ds nursing while I was having that kind of dream and it just creeped me out. That's just me though. I'm a worrier. I wish I could be more comfortable about bodies.


----------



## homemademomma (Apr 1, 2004)

yay! so many naked families


----------



## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_jenn*
thought id put my 2cents in
i could have laughed my pants off (if i had any on) when ds2(aged 4) asked me to wear underwear to bed. he is at the hieght where if our heads are level on the pillow, his foot is also level with my crotch. his foot would inevidably end up there once in a while..

so he told me "mommy thats gose (thats evan for gross), put some unerwear on" ever since then i put it on. sometimes i wear a bra or top, but mostly i am topless....(why not, they all get to be!) besides theyve seen be bf so much that they arent sensitive to that.


OMGess...I'm LMHO here!!!








We all sleep naked....dd is 5 ds is 1...going with the flow here!


----------



## Mamid (Nov 7, 2002)

back when I was a teenager I wore this one necklace 24/7. My then boyfriend flipped out and strangled me. I could no longer wear necklaces or anything that put any pressure on my neck. That meant night clothes, etc etc etc.

It has taken me 14 years but I can finally wear something tight around my neck again - but not while sleeping.

So, yes, I do sleep naked (except for panties when I have my period)


----------



## *daciaperfect* (Aug 30, 2004)

glad im not the only one thinking about this. dd is 2, and we are all naked sleepers. i figure i will just go by chloe's cues. i have noticed though that dh is wearing underwear now, so i bet he might feel a tiny bit weird now.


----------



## pia (Jul 28, 2003)

I haven´t given this much thought till now..... We all sleep naked much of the time - although when it gets cold in the winter we will wear pj´s. When ds was a baby and nursing all night when we lived in Brunei, I had to wear a bra with those nursing pads for leaks - LOL - because if I didn´t - we would soon have big patches of black ants on the sheets feeding off the leaked milk!!! ....with a looong ant highway down the side of the bed. Not my idea of fun!
I do love the idea of feeling skin during the night, and ds loves putting his legs in between mine. LOL - sometimes he says the hairs tickle his feet!!! Time for that brazilian wax! Forgot to say that ds is almost 6. Being naked is no big deal, but I have had to explain that I don´t want the bathroom window wide open when I am naked. Try logically explaining that it´s ok to go to the beach in a bikini, but not stand seminaked in your bathroom with window wide open for all to see???!!!!








---

WAHMamma to Oliver 28 Sept 1998














:








AP - homeschooling - vegan - TTC#2


----------



## babywearingmama (Nov 27, 2003)

Dh started wearing undies to bed when ds #1 was about 2 I think. I've still been sleeping naked in the summer, since we're in Australia and even with the ceiling fan and air/con on it's so HOT I could die (I'm from Canada so the heat kills me). But just recently I've started feeling uncomfortable being naked around ds#1 who's now 6. I think you will know if it's time to change, as somebody else said, as soon as one person is uncomfortable with the arrangement. So I guess I'll be buying summer jammies for the first time this year!


----------



## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

It's so nice to see some naked people around here! DH, DS and I are very much naked people. I tell all my friends you either need to call before you come over or be prepared for a wait so I can get dressed. They always joke that if anyone wants a show they can just peek in my windows. DS loves to be naked, if it was up to him he would be naked 24/7 no diaper or anything.

However, I always wear underwear. I just feel... hmm should I even say the expression? I just feel naked without it! Anyways, DH wears boxers or is naked in bed. I tried to sleep naked a couple of times but DS played with my hairs with his feet. I totally don't feel comfortable with that.

Just a little FYI Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are naked people too.


----------



## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Naked here too...


----------



## My Tiny Dancer (May 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hunnybumm*
It's so nice to see some naked people around here! DH, DS and I are very much naked people. I tell all my friends you either need to call before you come over or be prepared for a wait so I can get dressed. They always joke that if anyone wants a show they can just peek in my windows. DS loves to be naked, if it was up to him he would be naked 24/7 no diaper or anything.

However, I always wear underwear. I just feel... hmm should I even say the expression? I just feel naked without it! Anyways, DH wears boxers or is naked in bed. I tried to sleep naked a couple of times but DS played with my hairs with his feet. I totally don't feel comfortable with that.

Just a little FYI Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are naked people too.









Yeah, well if I had Jennifer Aniston's body AND I was married to Brad I'd be a naked person too!

I can't believe so many people sleep naked tho! I didn't grow up with nakedness at all, so personally I don't know what's appropriate or not. My DD is 11 months old. Sometimes (very rarely) Dh will sleep naked. I was kinda uncomfortable wit that, but kinda not. I always sleep topless. But I'm fine with that. Sometimes in just panties. And DH showers DD. I can't bc I can't hold her.

I agree with the PP...whenever someone gets uncomfortable. I knew a woman who stopped letting her 9 month old DS see her naked bc he was staring at her breasts and she felt weird. She was bfing too.


----------



## Liam's_Momma (Aug 21, 2004)

*sigh* This is just such a relief! I am so happy to see so many other people who do this! I started sleeping naked when I was pg because I would get so hot!!! Then nursing, well, it is just so much easier. When my son was 3 weeks old my partner's mom came over and reemed me out because I was napping naked with the baby (she also thinks co-sleeping is wierd). I have questioned it ever since but contenued. This is so great!!! You ladies rock.


----------



## Quickening (May 20, 2003)

Hmm take a look at other "noncivilised" societies (not Westernised) and most of them seem to have sleeping rooms where everyone sleeps together etc. Im sure they sleep naked and cuddle naked etc and I know the parents have sex in the same room too.

I wish I knew more about how it worked I think western society is really hung up on that sort of thing.

I wear knickers - started wearing them to bed when dd's feet started pulling my "short and curlies" by accident during the night. Some nights now i go totally naked and don't have a problem but some nights my hair gets pulled lol so i put panties on!

american DH sleeps naked loves the freedom he used to have to wear boxers all the time because his mum would never let him have privacy while he slept... shed bust in the morning without any regard.

Us aussies are a bit more laid back : ) Naked is comfortable and natural!


----------



## alaskan mom (Aug 19, 2004)

3 year of age.


----------



## Lucysmama (Apr 29, 2003)

We co-sleep, and until I read this thread, it honestly never crossed my mind! Nakedness is just a natural thing around here. My dd is 2 1/2. Dh sleeps naked, dd usually in just a t-shirt, and I sometimes am naked, sometimes in just a shirt. It being inappropriate never occured to me.

Dh and dd walk around naked alot, (I rarely do - I am not so comfy with my big preggo body) we all take showers together, etc. Dd went thru a phase of being really curious about her/our genitals, asking questions about what they did, wanting to touch them, etc....we explained what all the parts were for, and that we respect each other's bodies and don't touch them without permission, and that satisfied her curiosity.

Nakedness is a non-issue for us. But if any of us become uncomforable at some point, I guess we will just modify our behavior then. But I don't think there is a set-age for it being inappropriate, any more than I think that breastfeeding is inappropriate after a certain age.


----------



## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

I sleep with dh's boxer briefs on- but for totally different reasons. I am so worried that a bug will crawl in there! I know hilarious! My parents were naked alot- and I still remember seeing my moms tampon string when I was about 3 and it totally bothered me.
After ds and I's bath we lay in bed nude-and play and get ready- but he is infatuated by my parts and tries to pull my hair down there- and if and when he sees dh naked he tries to pull that too!!! very uncomfortable. He is starting to do this in our bath too. I do not know what to do- i guess I will have to shave???
But then what???
Emilie
Dh always wears shorts and a shirt to bed.


----------



## Curious (Jan 4, 2002)

We've made a gradual transition to more and more clothes, out of necessities other than worries about nudity. We started mostly naked (Dd in diaper only). She was born in summer. We have an upstairs, sunny apartment, and no air conditioning, and it gets HOT.

When she got a little longer, the toes of her kicky feet ended up pulling my pubic hair. Sorry for all the detail - but this was when I added panties.

Winter came, I put her in pajamas because she'd kick off the blankets. I continued topless because I wanted her to have free nursing access. But I put on pajama pants, and my upper body froze every night because she'd pull the blankets off me too. But I was dedicated to overcoming my supply problems with agressive night nursing, so I didn't add a top until the following winter.

Dd uses pajamas since I needed something to keep her from pulling off her diaper when she was smaller. I used tight shorts. When she got out of the diapers, I put her into pajamas, because she has accidents about once every week or two, so I have a wool pad in the bed. It's scratchy.

Dh feels that as Dd is older now, he should wear shorts or pants, but he often forgets. He comes to bed after she's asleep, and sometimes she informs him in the morning that he forgot his pants.

Dd is comfortable with all our bodies, but is understanding context. Bodies are fine, bodies are fun. But when we go out, when people come over, if we are going to stand in front of the window, we wear clothes. At bedtime, we wear clothes, that's just the way it is.

OT: The hardest thing is teaching her that if we are cold, we can wear clothes! She loves to be naked and if she is cold, she does not take my suggestion to pick out some clothes, she tells me to turn up the heat!


----------



## Zannalyn (Jan 5, 2004)

Hooray for naked people!









DH and I sleep naked, and sometimes go naked around the house. I only wear clothes to sleep when I'm really cold. DS is usually wearing at least a onesie along with his diaper, since he tends to get cold and our room is usually cool. He was born 6 weeks early and it took a couple weeks before he could keep his temp up to normal. In the hospital we often held him skin-to-skin to keep him warm and comfort him. DS sleeps close to me, with his face close to his beloved boobies.







He sometimes curls his toes in my pubic hair, but I think it's cute.

I do baby massage with him, during which he's naked and sometimes I'm in just a bra (so as not to leak), and sometimes we take baths together. I love this relaxed physical intimacy. I expect sooner or later he'll want to be much more private and I know I'll miss how well I know his body now.

We've been going to a clothing optional gathering each summer for several years (except this summer) and intend to take ds with us in future years, so he'll see lots of naked people, and hopefully will feel that it's normal to wear lots of clothes, a little clothes or none at all according to personal choice and weather and activity.

I figure he'll tell us if/when he is uncomfortable with nakedness, and we'll adjust then, or if/when we get uncomfortable. I want him to feel good about his body and also good about asking for privacy when he wants it.

I was raised in a very conservative family, with lots of shame attatched to bodies and nakedness. I remember when my second brother was very small, whenever he was getting changed, he would seize the opportunity and go racing naked through the house. We bigger kids would all yell "Bare boy! Bare boy!" and sometimes chase him around in a kind of game. It was pretty funny.


----------



## Beverly (May 7, 2002)

I grew up in a naked family and I still like to be naked, but for some reason both of my kids *hate* to be naked. They must get it from my husband, who always has his clothes on. We're still co-sleeping with our youngest and both dh and I wear underpants and the babe wears whatever. I haven't really thought about covering up more yet. My daughter just turned 8 last week and so far she's still fine with me not wearing clothes around her.


----------

