# Newborn that rarely sleeps and screams day/night



## racie0417 (Mar 22, 2008)

I'd never do CIO, but I have a hard time seeing how it is different than what is happening now.

My 7 week old LO was recently diagnosed with reflux, and was starteed on medicine, but we have not seen any improvement yet. During the day he spends most of his time upright in a carrier (in the tummy 2 tummy position in either a Moby, ring sling, or mei tai). I nurse him as upright as I can, and I have eliminated dairy. Despite all of this, he only sleeps maybe 10 hours in a 24 hour period. He seems to cry and scream constantly.

The biggest problem we have is that he will NOT fall asleep. He screams in the car and doesn't sleep. He will tolerate his bouncy seat for a short stretch but has never slept in it. He will NOT tolerate his swing. He rarely sleeps in carriers even though he is worn anytime ODS is awake (pretty much 6am until 8pm, minus some short breaks)--he might nod off for 10 minute stretches but that is it. When he gets tired in a carrier, he usually screams, but will not sleep. He had been sleeping swaddled (ODS slept swaddled until 8.5 months







) but now refuses to do that also. He has never fallen asleep nursing--I am guessing due to the reflux as he often pops off to cry.

Right now, the only way to get him to sleep is to stop moving which sets him off screaming.....allow him to scream while you hold him (or wear him) until he appears exhausted.....then put him down awake but clearly tired out. It feels like CIO to me, but he will not go to sleep any other way. You put him down sleepy but happy and he just starts crying eventually. You rock, bounce, nurse, do the 5 s's, etc, won't work. I once did all of that for 9 hours straight while he stayed awake the whole time. If you just try to lie him down and lie next to him, he screams.

I guess I need to hear from mom's who have BTDT....had LOs that never slept and screamed for hours. How did you get them to sleep when nothing else works? I literally have to stop trying to get him to sleep and just allow him to scream himself to sleep right now (while I hold him) and I hate it. Please, please, please give me hope that it gets better.

FTR, we co-sleep with him for part of the night. Once he falls asleep, he goes into the pack-n-play in our bedroom, but if he wakes to nurse, he comes into our bed and stays there until morning. And FWIW, he actually is an awesome sleeper once he falls asleep--it is the getting him to sleep that is the problem. This is a clear difference from our ODS who fell asleep every 2 hours like clockwork but only slept for 30 minutes at a time (but he fell asleep nursing which made life so much easier) and during the night woke every 90 minutes to nurse.


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## crunchy_mama (Oct 11, 2004)

I would absolutely look into food intolerances. Many, many, many moms have this experience and then when remove problem foods (dairy being the number #1 cause) it is like night and day. I suffered long w/ #1 buying the party line that nursers just needed to nurse all the time and he was high needs.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Mama. I am so sorry you are going through this! And sorry for your little baby. (OT, but I have an August-born Liam too!)

When Liam was about 5 weeks old he started with the screaming. And would pop off and scream while nursing as well. He also has food allergies and reflux. We tried Zantac first, and it didn't work. We switched to Prevacid, and it stopped the screaming after 2 weeks.

What also worked for us, was a rocking chair. I had to rock him to get him calm enough to nurse, and that is how we got him to sleep as well. He still fights sleep, but we just hold him and rock him. He nurses to sleep now, but has to be rocked and nursed at the same time.

I would also try an elimination diet. I saw that you cut out dairy, which is great. But there may be more allergies there too. We actually got Liam tested, because I didn't have the energy for an ED, and we found out he is also allergic to dairy and wheat, among some other fruits and veggies. And I'm sure you know this, but there is a lot of hidden dairy in a lot of packaged stuff, and even some breads, so you have to be really careful and read labels. And watch out for anything with whey, or casein in it, as those are also parts of milk.

I hope you find some answers soon mama.


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## lovelysmama (Apr 25, 2008)

First of all, you are not letting him CIO! CIO would be putting him in a dark room all alone without the comfort of his mama's (or papa's!) presence. Do not feel bad about that.

Ditto the previous posters about checking into your diet. If you've already eliminated dairy I'd give wheat/gluten a try next.

My dd also had reflux - I know how heartbreaking that is. Zantac didn't do anything for us and the two weeks it took for the doctor to determine that she needed something stronger were the longest two weeks of my life. We had great success with Prevacid and she was on that for almost 13 months. It took another 7 - 10 days for the Prevacid to do the trick but once it kicked it things improved dramatically.


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## rainyday (Apr 28, 2006)

OP, your babe sounds just like my sister's younger child. Her dd would not/could not settle herself down to sleep without crying. It was like that was just what she needed to do to fall asleep. My sister tried an elimination diet to the point where she was eating almost nothing for a couple of months, and it didn't help or change things at all. Her dd was diagnosed with reflux, but supposedly it was not severe, and she didn't really notice a change with meds. The only thing that helped was time. I think her dd was 3 or 4 before she generally fell asleep without crying at least some (though the crying did lessen by about age 2 or so, maybe a little earlier or later - it's hard to remember!).

My sister finally decided to relax about it and for her dd discovered that putting her down in a crib by herself seemed to lessen the crying. She'd actually cry more if someone tried to walk with her. For her dd, it seemed like the crying was more about settling her nervous system down than crying from being upset, and holding her or rocking her seemed to make it harder for her to settle herself down. I know it was terribly hard on my sister to do this, but she finally made her peace with it because her dd was just so much happier when she was getting good sleep, and she cried so much less this way. (And my sis ended up happier because, as she said, "I didn't realize how stressful it was to always be holding a screaming baby until I finally set her down and accepted that that was the way she was." She said it was like lifting a weigh off her shoulders, fwiw.)

It also seemed like especially as a young babe (like yours), she had a harder time settling because she was so sleep deprived. It got to be a really vicious cycle, and it was only when she was a little older (maybe 6 or 7 months? after my sis had tried the elim diet for several months, so probably around that age) and she started getting put down at regular nap and bed times to settle herself that the sleep deprivation seemed to go away. Her dd got much happier during her awake periods when she finally did this.

By the way, I'm not advocating cio, but I don't think it sounds like that's what you're doing and it's not what my sister did. If that's the only way your baby can settle down, then it's important to listen to her needs and follow them, even if they seem to be counter to what most people's babies like or need!

Anyway,







OP. I know how awful it is to hear your little one crying and not be able to do anything about it! It will get better. I hope you can find something soon that helps your little one and you.


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## filiadeluna (Oct 2, 2007)

I know how tough it is. I really do. I breaks your heart to hear your LO screaming so much, and at the same time it makes you kind of crazy.







: It's really nerve-wracking, and painful for the whole family.









I have been in a very similar situation with my 9-week-old DD. Things are improving slowly but surely, but for the longest time the only ways she would fall asleep were on my breast (which she still fusses at sometimes), and in the car. Now she will fall asleep in her swing if she is tired enough, but I still have to nurse her to where she is falling asleep before she will tolerate the swing, and then I often have to give her a Soothie (pacifier) to keep her from waking up and screaming. She has high sucking needs, otherwise I wouldn't give her a paci. My nipples were incredibly sore on & off for awhile until she would take the pacifier.

She has been on Levsin for the reflux for a few weeks now, and it's helped a good bit, but not as much as it should. She still seems to be in pain a lot (spits up a LOT after nearly every feeding), but she is gaining weight in the 95th percentile.







The doc has switched her to Zantac, and we will be starting that tomorrow. I hope it works, but I'm worried since it didn't seem to work for some PP.

She does have *some* happy moments now, but I think that is due more to her having better vision and coordination than the medicine. She likes to look around at different things, and has discovered how to suck on her hands, so that helps calm her sometimes. She isn't a big fan of being worn, except in her wrap, but she fusses at that sometimes too. She actually really enjoys her stroller for some reason.







I wish she liked being worn more... maybe when she's older?

We co-sleep part-time too. I nurse her to sleep at night, then put her in her Pack N Play. Then when she wakes up I am still usually tired, so I take her with me into the guest room and nurse her as we co-sleep for a few more hours. Neither of our beds are big enough for all three of us (me, DH, and DD) to sleep in safely together, unfortunately. I want to buy a King, but we don't have the $ right now. She also doesn't sleep more than 10-12 hours a day usually. Thankfully since I am able to co-sleep with her for most of her naps, I am getting tons more sleep than I did the first month (oh, that was SOOO hard).


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## nataliachick7 (Apr 3, 2007)

Oh man i remember those days. My ds screamed 24/7. Doctor was not much help. I decided he had food intolerances after trial and error and he ended up on neocate (medical formula) as well as prevacid, which i demanded. zantac did nothing.... within a week he was much happier. i would look into a PPI for your baby like prevacid before the esophogus becomes damaged from acid back up. if i would have waited any longer my son would have ended up being tube fed. please research www.marci-kids.com and bring it to your doctor. my doc would not listen to me so i actually had the doctor team from that website in missouri contact our ped here in illinois. good luck.


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## nataliachick7 (Apr 3, 2007)

Also, in between med doses we used mylanta-about 2 tsp in a syringe starting at a very young age. that soothed the throat a lot. make sure to get mylanta supreme as regular mylanta has aluminum in it.


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## terrified (Mar 18, 2009)

OK - I had this problem with my first and then to a lesser degree with my second. I am absolutely convinced that it was something in my breastmilk. I eliminated everything I could think of and it didn't work. The only thing that helped was Baby's Bliss gripe water and a product called Vibrucol. There are a lot of gripe waters on the market and I've tried a ton of them - this is the one that i think works the best. I've just recently stopped nursing my daughter and about two week laters, she was the most pleasant thing ever - sleeping from 8pm at night till about 5am uniterrupted. this is a child that would scream all night and day. It was definetly the breastmilk and over these past few weeks as I have become convinced of this, I have been really thinking about what was left in my diet that could have been causing this problem and i can come up with two things - tea (decaf black) and wheat. my money is on the wheat. I will not be surprised if this one shows up with some type of intolerance! good luck.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

You should probably consider keeping a food diary so you can get a better idea of what you are eating and what might be causing the problem.

How long has your baby been on the reflux meds? Is it Zantac?

I had this same issue with my son, it was hard for a bit but the reflux meds did start helping. He loved warm baths with mom to help him relax and baby massage.







Have you tried belly rubs?

My son could NOT handle it if I ate broccoli, cabbage or other gassy foods. Spicy tings can also be an issue.


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## racie0417 (Mar 22, 2008)

Started Zantac yesterday.....

LO screaming right now.....hasn't napped since he woke at 9am, it is now 5pm.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I am so sorry.







It is really hard. What did you eat today and last night?


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## racie0417 (Mar 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 









I am so sorry.







It is really hard. What did you eat today and last night?


Corn pops







with rice milk for breakfast

Veggie pizza (no cheese) last night and for lunch

oh, and a whole bunch of fruit snacks....


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## makuahine (Mar 10, 2009)

This won't help if your baby has food intolerances (as it sounds like he may), but my dd was very "colicky" for her first few months and she loved being bounced on a big yoga/exercise ball. You might have already tried this (it sounds like you've tried just about everything!), but even if it doesn't get to the root of the problem it could soothe him for a little bit and perhaps give you a little break from the constant crying.







Good luck!


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## SeekingJoy (Apr 30, 2007)

Have the meds been adjusted for dose or Rx? There are lots of different options. We had to try three (four? more? I have forgotten) until we hit the right combo and delivery system. We ended up with the effervescent Zantac, which doesn't work for many, but did for DS.

Can you avoid the car? Car seats frequently put pressure on tiny stomachs aggrevating reflux.

When he gets older and can roll, try putting him to sleep on his stomach to ease the reflux.

Incline one the head end of his pack and play so that he sleeps inclined. If you can manage to wake up enough to remember, after he nurses at night, put him back in his side-carred pack and play. The incline will likely help.

I am assuming you don't burp him after feedings, but if you do, try stopping. Instead, just hold him upright (even at night) for 10-15 minutes. Breastfed babies often don't have the same burping needs that ff babies do, and it can aggravate reflux.

I am so sorry you and your LO are going through this. I have BTDT. DS is still a crappy sleeper (it was reflux + temperament), but we have learned lots of coping strategies. HTH.


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## racie0417 (Mar 22, 2008)

nak

we use an exercise ball hours a day. it put ods to sleep, but just barely keeps this lo calm.

i never heard that about burping. we burp during the day, but not during night feeds (and he sleeps well at night). we'll try not burping (we already hold him upright after feeds).


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## stacyann21 (Oct 21, 2006)

I would just let him fall asleep when he's tired enough. I know that seems obvious but I mean really, don't try to put him to sleep at all. It's a waste of time with a fussy baby. He'll fall asleep eventually. I would focus on nursing him to sleep, maybe in a carrier, and then waiting until he is fast asleep to carefully lie him down. I used to have to do some ninja moves to put my "difficult" sleeper down to bed, otherwise he'd just pop right up. Luckily, we mastered the art of falling to sleep lying down at the breast later on! His sleeping just got better and better as he got older. Now at 2, I can carry him asleep from the car and pretty much plop him down on the bed without waking him. He also sleeps through the night the majority of the time now, something I thought I would never see! We never did any kind of sleep training at all so I know he did these thigngs simply because he was developmentally ready.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *racie0417* 
Corn pops








with rice milk for breakfast

Veggie pizza (no cheese) last night and for lunch

oh, and a whole bunch of fruit snacks....









Was there any broccoli on it? I have a serious milk allergy, I am pretty careful with dairy when I am not blowing my diet and my son still had reflux.

Do you co sleep? Does your baby son just sleep on the bed or on someone's arm? There are sleep positioners that keep a baby in a reclining position that can be helpful for reflux rather than lying flat. We used one for my own son and just laid it in the bed with us.

Or you can stick something under the head of the mattress.


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## racie0417 (Mar 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stacyann21* 
I would just let him fall asleep when he's tired enough. I know that seems obvious but I mean really, don't try to put him to sleep at all. It's a waste of time with a fussy baby. He'll fall asleep eventually. I would focus on nursing him to sleep, maybe in a carrier, and then waiting until he is fast asleep to carefully lie him down. I used to have to do some ninja moves to put my "difficult" sleeper down to bed, otherwise he'd just pop right up. Luckily, we mastered the art of falling to sleep lying down at the breast later on! His sleeping just got better and better as he got older. Now at 2, I can carry him asleep from the car and pretty much plop him down on the bed without waking him. He also sleeps through the night the majority of the time now, something I thought I would never see! We never did any kind of sleep training at all so I know he did these thigngs simply because he was developmentally ready.

Thank you for reminding me of that.







My ODS was not always a good sleeper. He would fall asleep nursing but would wake if put down. He'd fall asleep in a carrier but would wake if put down. My solution was to wear him for all naps for the first 4 months, then nurse him to sleep side-lying swaddled. When I first started nursing him to sleep, he needed to nap on the bed, but I was eventually able to transfer once asleep to the crib. When he dropped the swaddle at 8.5 months, it got harder again for awhile, but he eventually started self-soothing.







: At night he went through several sleep regressions, but the worst went from 8 until 11 months when he seemed to wake constantly. By a year old though, he would either sleep through the night OR self-soothe at night. Noww at 21 months, he still doesn't sleep much--maybe 11 hours total, but he can self-soothe at least....and we never did any sleep training.

It is just really hard to deal with a non-sleeping newborn in the moment aand the fact he has reflux makes it worse. Plus, since he is a different person than his older brother was I feel lost since my usual tricks don't work.


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## racie0417 (Mar 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
Was there any broccoli on it? I have a serious milk allergy, I am pretty careful with dairy when I am not blowing my diet and my son still had reflux.

Do you co sleep? Does your baby son just sleep on the bed or on someone's arm? There are sleep positioners that keep a baby in a reclining position that can be helpful for reflux rather than lying flat. We used one for my own son and just laid it in the bed with us.

Or you can stick something under the head of the mattress.









No broccoli.

We co-sleep after the first night feeding. He does sleep flat on the mattress. I'll try elevating.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Oh just a note on the thread (in case of searches) to not use pillows, but to elevate by putting something underneath the head of the mattress, a parent's arm or something made for that purpose. Pillows are not safe for babies.

OP I hope you can find some relief for your sweet son.


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