# A 30-40 year old man "hit on" my 14yo dd



## KentuckyDoulaMama (Mar 11, 2004)

We were at a gas station and I had my dd go in and pay for the gas.

gas station guy : "Hi. You're looking pretty today."
dd: (embarassed) "thanks, we had 10.00 on pump 6"
gas station guy: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
dd: "ugh, no, I'm not allowed. I'm only 14."
gas staion guy: "well you look older..."

dd then quickly walks out.

Should I report this guy? I was in a HUGE hurry, late for an appt or I would have composed myself as much as possible then went in & let the guy have it.

Do I just let it go? I dont have his name. We could try to go back in at the same day and time to see if he's there but my dd would be horribly embarassed. Just call the manager and say tell him for his info?
BTW, dd does NOT look to be of legal age at all.....


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## DebraBaker (Jan 9, 2002)

I don't think you can report that but it's a good teaching opportunity for you and dd.

I have five daughters and they have been hit on like that.

Fortunately, all but the 7yo could snap the man like a twig, and have the attitude to go with the power.

IOW, most men know to leave them alone.


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## KentuckyDoulaMama (Mar 11, 2004)

I meant report it to the store manager, not to authorities - just to clarify.


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## DebraBaker (Jan 9, 2002)

I'd talk to the manager, even if she was of age, that's a mild form of sexual harassment.


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## cornflower_3 (Jan 15, 2006)

*


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I would also talk with your daughter, and report it to the manager. Not cool.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Definately talk to your daughter, and I would report it. Perhaps he did think she was older? Still, even so, that's creepy. When I was younger I had older guys hit on me b/c I did look older and they though I was. Mistakes can be made sometimes, so I always think of that before I report someone for hitting on someone underage. I know of one guy who's only sixteen but looks about 19 or 20. It wouldn't matter for him b/c the age of consent is 16 in Washington unless you are a school employee, but it's possible to mistake someone for older. I dunno, even if he did really think she was older, I would report it. It's very unprofessional behavior, especially from someone who was so much older, which means that he is probably looking for someone younger to manipulate. Gross, overall, even with mistaken identity.


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## DebraBaker (Jan 9, 2002)

Even if she was 20, do you really want to pick up some guy you don't know from the gas station?

What you teach her now will prepare for to make choices as an adult.

What were women taught that it would even be possible to pick up a woman at a minamart?

Basic defensive choices, they'll help her as a 20 year old someday.


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Ugh!!! My dd is 10 and I have gone off on some creepy men.















: I almost got escorted out of MOA for screaming at one creep for ogling my dd and her 11 year old friend.

I would definitely report the guy to the manager. That is beyond sexual harrassment. I would make sur ethe manager knows that he has a grown man hitting on kids.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I had that happen myself at that age. Yes I'd report it to the manager.


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## mmace (Feb 12, 2002)

We've experienced that as well, my daughter is almost 13. It's scary to think about, but some teenagers look much older than they are. My daughter dresses conservatively, doesn't wear make-up, but she is 5'1", 110 pounds, and could easily pass for 16 or 17 if she tried.

I probably wouldn't report him. Creepy knowing the facts we know? Yes. Actual harrassment? In my book, no. But that's just me. Also, I know my daughter's attitude, and it wouldn't bother her - she'd probably just shoot him one of those "Drop Dead" looks she usually reserves for me! ;-)

Quote:

Even if she was 20, do you really want to pick up some guy you don't know from the gas station?
This made me laugh because I actually dated a guy that I met in a bookstore, but he worked at a gas station. Looking back, he's the one I should have married...


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

I'd be offended by that leacherous stuff regardless of what age I am. All women should be able to conduct business in public venues without being harrassed by employees who can't keep a lid on their own sexuality. Plus this guy sounds like a pedophile. I highly doubt he thought a shy little girl riding shotgun in her mother's car was of age. What a jerk.

Please report this to the store manager. Furthermore, if this is a chain organization, I hope you'll contact their main offices to lodge a complaint.


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
I'd be offended by that leacherous stuff regardless of what age I am. *All women should be able to conduct business in public venues without being harrassed by employees who can't keep a lid on their own sexuality.* Plus this guy sounds like a pedophile. I highly doubt he thought a shy little girl riding shotgun in her mother's car was of age. What a jerk.

Please report this to the store manager. Furthermore, if this is a chain organization, I hope you'll contact their main offices to lodge a complaint.









My thoughts exactly.


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
I'd be offended by that leacherous stuff regardless of what age I am. All women should be able to conduct business in public venues without being harrassed by employees who can't keep a lid on their own sexuality. Plus this guy sounds like a pedophile. I highly doubt he thought a shy little girl riding shotgun in her mother's car was of age. What a jerk.

Please report this to the store manager. Furthermore, if this is a chain organization, I hope you'll contact their main offices to lodge a complaint.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

I wouldn't report it to anyone, but I would use it as a teaching moment for my daughter. I don't know how old your dd looks, but some 14 year olds can easily pass for 18. I know to you she is your little girl, but I wouldn't report what could have been an honest mistake.

I think that comments - both benign and leading - will happen throughout her lifetime. Her feeling that she can handle it is crucial. She did well, but could have just repeated a firm "we have $10 on pump five" when he got to the boyfriend part.

My dh has gone through a lot of sexual harassment training at work; they are all required to take it yearly. It is to the point that you can't even tell someone they look nice without worrying about it. I understand that in the OP's situation, especially when he got to the boyfriend part, he was clearly interested in more than commenting that she was pretty. But I think that teaching our girls to feel they can handle those type situations is more effective than thinking we can stop them from happening.

I would talk to her about it, then let it go.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

At that age I looked older......You are doing something right your dd handled it well. It is a life skill that has done me well. People mistake other peoples age all the time. If he would have proceeded then I would be annoyed and concider it harrassment.

I really think it is pretty judgemental of people to say someone that works at a gas station is unworthy or creepy...I worked at a gas station. We had all different types of employees come in and out. Many were trying to make it through college. And when my kids are 20 I am sure my kids will date people I don't know and don't like were they work would be one of my last concerns.


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## DebraBaker (Jan 9, 2002)

Stranger making suggestive commentary to a woman is inherently creepy.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

It's hard to believe a man that old wouldn't realize your DD is under 18 years of age but maybe he didn't. Does she look old for her age? It sounds like once she told him his age that he didn't flirt anymore, right? It sounds like he was definitely in the wrong for flirting in the first place, but he didn't do anything physically wrong. I'm 37 years old and can't stand men that make comments about my looks.

It's sad that men that age flirt with little girls.







: I remember being that age and having older men hit on me too, even married men a couple times. I had an older guy follow me home from a grocery store when I was 14 and walking with a friend and called me jailbait (the first time I heard the term) and gave me his number. When my friend and I called it his wife answered and was very pissed. That was my first experience with a dirtbag sleaze such as that. I think experiences like that are what help us figure out what to do in such situations.


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## mmace (Feb 12, 2002)

One more thought - a lot of times kids that age are horrible judges when it comes to guessing an adults age. My daughter referred to my mom as "elderly", and she is in her mid 50's but could easily pass for mid 40's. If your daughter said he was 30-40 (and I might be wrong, you may have seen him and know that is his age) he could have been mid 20's.


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## forthebest (Jun 19, 2006)

This is 'just' more of the daily sexual harrassment our daughters(and sons) will get through life from men.What do we do about it? Just let it go cos it's just part of life? If men like this do not get any feedback then they don't even register our disgust, I would rather they know it. A couple of drunks shouted something sexually offensive at my 14 year old not long ago as I walked past with her and it just riled me so I turned round and told em to f off. I'm glad I did, yes they got more offensive but at least they were challenged and one of them looked like he was trying to stand up you know the how dare a scumbag woman tell me to f off routine yes they really believe they are gods and women are there to be abused, young girls yum yum even better, I would not have thought twice about flooring him if he had managed to stand up and thump me cos these guys are prone to a bit of woman bashing but what he really wanted to do was f**k my daughter and to me that is highly antagonistic behaviour and they are well aware when you are a single-mom too, dya think they would have done that if I'd been with a man. This is how they start to prey on young girls,if they havent already molested a child 12 upwards is the age they start on,why should our daughters not be able to go through life without this crap? we are just pieces of meat to these scumbags and they know what they are doing, sowing the seeds of doubt,'shame of our sexuality' FEAR , into our growing daughters, I saw the look on my dd's face I remember that feeling well and compromising our personal safety it's all part of the fun and hey the law will protect them as well so whats to stop them. A quick visit to the manager of that gas station to project your concerns will at least maybe let him know that some people do not accept that kinda behaviour. Who knows where that behaviour might lead to and no it won't stop them but just to challenge them is a message in itself. This is predatory behaviour and in itself is dubious, it's not a case of men not being allowed to converse, it's their tone of conversation that's worrying, he coulda just said hi.


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

I would most definitely report it to the manager! I can't believe that there are actually posters who say "don't report it!"


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

REPORT...REPORT!

I also had that happen to me many times as a young girl, I wish someone would've taken a stand for me.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

I'd report it to the manager. Even if she was of age, that made her feel uncomfortable and was thus sexual harassment.

Remember, sexual harassment is in the impact, not the intent -- and all large-scale companies have corporate policies explicitly forbidding it!


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## Alkenny (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mmace*
One more thought - a lot of times kids that age are horrible judges when it comes to guessing an adults age. My daughter referred to my mom as "elderly", and she is in her mid 50's but could easily pass for mid 40's. If your daughter said he was 30-40 (and I might be wrong, you may have seen him and know that is his age) he could have been mid 20's.

Yep, my 13 year old thinks my brother is old...he's 25!
Regardless of how old he is or how young your daughter is, he shouldn't have asked her that and I'd report him and let them deal with it.


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## whateverdidiwants (Jan 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BelovedK*
REPORT...REPORT!

I also had that happen to me many times as a young girl, I wish someone would've taken a stand for me.

ITA.


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## secretresistance (Dec 2, 2005)

Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to report something like that to the manager of the gas station, unless my daughter was opposed to it. Have you talked about what your DD might like to do, if anything?


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I would definitely report it to the manager. That is unaccpetable, no matter the age of the woman.


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## granolamom (Sep 30, 2002)

I would report it!!


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I would report it to the manager, but only because of her age. I don't think it's sexual harrassment for someone to express interest in you. It's only harrassment if it continues after you make it clear that it's not okay. Otherwise how would we ever find love? If everyone is afraid to express how they feel, or "hit on" someone we'll all eventually die alone.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Yes I was going to post about that too after reading more of the replies. I agree with moondiapers. This particular issue is due to the age difference. Unless one thinks ot's cool for 13 year olds to go out with 30+ year olds. Yeah didn't think so.

But I don't think that there is anything wrong with expressing interest in someone that is in your peer group.


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## forthebest (Jun 19, 2006)

I don't think there is anything wrong with people showing an interest in each other either but I am sick of men of all ages leering after women and inparticular their snidey creepy behaviour towards young girls.If I, as an adult woman, was coming onto a 14 year old boy, which of course I wouldn't tho some do, you wouldn't hear the end of it. Seems like it's just accepted that a whole lot of men can be lecherous, dodgy pervs and no-one seems to really notice...much.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers*
I would report it to the manager, but only because of her age. I don't think it's sexual harrassment for someone to express interest in you. It's only harrassment if it continues after you make it clear that it's not okay. Otherwise how would we ever find love? If everyone is afraid to express how they feel, or "hit on" someone we'll all eventually die alone.

I have no problem with people showing interest in one another, but I don't think it should be done to a customer. It is very unprofessional, and I know it is something we weren't supposed to do when I worked in customer service. The same goes for hitting on a retail employee. IN either case, it puts the person in a very awkward position.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa*
I have no problem with people showing interest in one another, but I don't think it should be done to a customer. It is very unprofessional, and I know it is something we weren't supposed to do when I worked in customer service. The same goes for hitting on a retail employee. IN either case, it puts the person in a very awkward position.

I can see your side, but still disagree. My mother is in love with a man that was her customer in the cafe she worked in. That's how they met. If she wasn't allowed to flirt..... I stand by what I say though, "no" means "no" and it should stop as soon as one person says "no".


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

I would tell the manager. You never know what can happen. My mom took her dog out to the backyard the other night and there was a man staring in my (very veluptuous and easily passing for legal) 15 yo sister's window! (Luckily my sister was at a friends house, but that definitely meant the guy had been ther before). He took off so fast my mom couldn't catch him, but she called the cops to stop by just for comfort. So now my sister goes EVERYWHERE with my mother and is not allowed to stay home alone. I always thought my mom was too strict, but with something like this I can't blame her!


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## DebraBaker (Jan 9, 2002)

That burns me up your sister is in that bondage simply because she's a female and there are lecherous men out there.

That, in and of itself, has victimized your sister.


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## JustJamie (Apr 24, 2006)

I would definately tell the manager of the gas station.

I was one of those that blossomed early...in the 5th grade, I could easily pass for 16 or 17...by the time I was in high school, I looked to be in my 20s.

My mom was really cool about not going to the stores where I'd been hit on if I told her I was uncomfortable there, even if it meant going way out of our way. It sucked, though, that we had to avoid going to our neighborhood stores just because sleezeballs worked there.


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

Yes, report it to the manager. If nobody ever reports that man then he may never learn to treat his customers with respect regardless of their age and gender. Definitely also use it as a teaching moment with your dd, and let it go after reporting it and discussing it with your dd, but DO report it!

love and peace.


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## milkymama06 (Jul 28, 2006)

What a creep! Report him!

When I was around her age, the ice cream man use to come by and we'd all buy ice cream from him. He would chat with us, but mostly me. He said he had a daughter my age and try and give me free ice cream. One day he came by while my parents were gone. He just stopped the truck in the road for a few minutes like he was waiting. Then he got out of the car. I went to the door and he mentioned wanting to see the car we had for sale inthe driveway. I said my dad was busy (lied, he was gone) and right before he came to the door, my mom pulled up in the driveway!

Can you imagine what could have happened! I hate creepy men! Makes having children so terrifying.


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## milkymama06 (Jul 28, 2006)

OMG that's so scary! She should have the dog on there with her. It would bark if someone came up to the window. Does she keep her blinds down now? I hope he doesn't come back! Did you all notify the neighbors?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *frontierpsych*
I would tell the manager. You never know what can happen. My mom took her dog out to the backyard the other night and there was a man staring in my (very veluptuous and easily passing for legal) 15 yo sister's window! (Luckily my sister was at a friends house, but that definitely meant the guy had been ther before). He took off so fast my mom couldn't catch him, but she called the cops to stop by just for comfort. So now my sister goes EVERYWHERE with my mother and is not allowed to stay home alone. I always thought my mom was too strict, but with something like this I can't blame her!


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *forthebest*
I don't think there is anything wrong with people showing an interest in each other either but I am sick of men of all ages leering after women and inparticular their snidey creepy behaviour towards young girls.If I, as an adult woman, was coming onto a 14 year old boy, which of course I wouldn't tho some do, you wouldn't hear the end of it. Seems like it's just accepted that a whole lot of men can be lecherous, dodgy pervs and no-one seems to really notice...much.

Mrs. Robinson I do not agree with you about if you were hitting on a 14 year old boy. He would be ignored and told he was being complemented and/or gaining experience by being with an older woman. Society tells him he is a freak or gay for not being turned on or being scared by a woman (especially older) hitting or being sexual with him. Also if most boys came out of a gas station and even admitted the gas station attended said he was cute/handsome most people wouldn't suspect them being hit on. He would be told to just take it as a complement and to get over it. He most likely wouldn't even take the first "My you look handsome today as being hit on" much less "do you have a girl friend". (and yes it does happen to our boys it has been said to my son). Most of the time the boy just keeps his mouth quite, takes it as a complement, and embarrassily move on from it.

I have an almost 12 year old boy







: We have been in stores were the sales lady has told him that he is handsome. He has been embarrassed, red face. But in reality he is constantly told he should be sexual and suppose to always want and enjoy it







My son has had relatives ask why he doesn't have any girl friends or how many he has, et. His same age cousins talk about their girl friends and he is expected to be the same.


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## merrybee (May 18, 2002)

When my dd was 12 yo (she looked 9 or 10 still) she went into a store and the cashier (around 40 yo), noticing her cell phone, asked if it was hers or her parent's phone. She said it was hers and he asked for her phone number! She immediately came outside where I was waiting for her and told me. I went in (leaving her outside with the baby) to ask the manager why on earth a grown man in his employ is asking for a child's phone number. It turns out that man WAS the manager! I didn't get to talk to him because I was told he was in the back on break and the new guy on the cashier couldn't leave the cashier to get him. I demanded to speak to him and was refused. So I told them if he wouldn't speak to me, I was going to report the incident. So on the way out to my car with my children I was dialing the police and he followed me out to the car. He was intimidating and literally in my face. I repeatedly asked him to back away and he didn't. The police dispatcher heard everything (the man didn't realize I was connected) and sent a police car. While asking for my dd's phone number was not in itself illegal (although they said they may be able to try a child endangerment charge) it was prudent to make a "matter of record" report to the police in these cases. The perpetrator possibly could be a sex offender in which case it would be a violation or at the very least they have it on record in case more things of this nature pop up with the same man.

So I would definitely report it to the manager. Reporting it to the police is also an option even though no laws were broken (unless he was violating an existing parole order). In this case since he stopped upon learning her age you may not feel compelled to take it that far.

You should be proud of your dd for her response. She must be a strong young woman. Many full grown women do not know how to handle these situations. By saying no, in no uncertain terms, she gave him the message that she is not an easy target. Most child predators are looking for easy marks.


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## PennyRoo (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
All women should be able to conduct business in public venues without being harrassed by employees who can't keep a lid on their own sexuality. .

Absolutely agree with this. How incredibly rude and inappropriate. I deal with this crap frequently, I think because I have quite the rack on me, and although I have perfected the withering response and "F you, loser" look I still (at 35) get squirmy and uncomfortable inside. Such a hard, new and unwelcome reality for young girls as they start having to deal with these kinds of responses.









I agree with all who said to report it to the manager, since I see it as absolutely unprofessional behavior towards a customer. Also sounds like a great teaching moment/discussion topic for you and your daughter. Sorry this happened.


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## MillingNome (Nov 18, 2005)

: Yep- DD is starting to get that too. As a motherly instinct I want to put her in a bubble! But that's not possible nor healthy. As it is, I am quick to snap at any guy I think may be looking at her a little too intensely. I am glad she is in karate- they do a good job telling em where to hit if it comes to that









Mamaintheboonies: ME TOO!


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## ella roy (Aug 3, 2006)

I would call the police in that area and speak with the cid officer incharge of the sex offender registry. Your daughter told him her age and that didn't slow him down. He could be an absconder or new to the area and unregistered. Your law inforcement should be in the know about it. This guy is more than old enough to be her father and while I think that relationships with large age differences are fine I don't think it's ok when one party is a child. There are some people that are looking for our children. Sadly, I say this because I know this is true.


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## mlec (May 29, 2005)

My DD is only 2.5, but I would love to learn from you more experienced mamas how to go about with the "teaching moment"....what to say, when and how to help your daughter deal well w/ these types of situations. My mother always just seemed cowed or flattered. I remember one time a drug-store employee following me (and my mother) around the store flirting w/ me the whole time....I was probably in 8th or 9th grade)...he wasn't making overtly sexual comments, but was clearly expressing interest in me and my mom just giggled over it. Another time, she told us sheepishly, but smiling, how a clothing shop manager kissed her on the cheek...she was a mid-40s mother of 5 at the time!

So, not to hijak, but if you can spare a moment, teach me, mamas!


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## rabrog (Dec 20, 2005)

I think I would have gone in an backhanded him.







:

Jenn


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DebraBaker*
I'd talk to the manager, even if she was of age, that's a mild form of sexual harassment.

Yeah, he is supposed to be working, not hitting on underage kids. Yecch.


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## Gabbi (Jan 27, 2005)

:
I don't know what to say.....simply







:
and a little of







.


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## srain (Nov 26, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten*
I think that comments - both benign and leading - will happen throughout her lifetime. Her feeling that she can handle it is crucial.

.... But I think that teaching our girls to feel they can handle those type situations is more effective than thinking we can stop them from happening.

I would talk to her about it, then let it go.

ITA. Unless your daughter wants the management informed, teaching her deflection skills is more important than tattling.


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## Pynki (Aug 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *srain*
ITA. Unless your daughter wants the management informed, teaching her deflection skills is more important than tattling.

It is not "tattling" when you speak to those in authority about moral wrongs committed against you. Sexual harassment is WRONG. Trying to get a 14 year old's number when you are over 18 is WRONG. Solicitation of a minor is WRONG. I would report it to the management. It is WRONG to try and get ANYTHING from an adolescent girl as a grown man.

When I got hit on by "old guys" (30 or more when I was 14-15) it totally grossed me out. If it had EVER happened at their place of employment I ABSOLUTELY would have told their managers. It's gross regardless of where it happens.

This isn't "tattling" about who said the word sh!t on the playground. This is reporting harassment.


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## secretresistance (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pynki*
It is not "tattling" when you speak to those in authority about moral wrongs committed against you. Sexual harassment is WRONG. Trying to get a 14 year old's number when you are over 18 is WRONG. Solicitation of a minor is WRONG. I would report it to the management. It is WRONG to try and get ANYTHING from an adolescent girl as a grown man.

When I got hit on by "old guys" (30 or more when I was 14-15) it totally grossed me out. If it had EVER happened at their place of employment I ABSOLUTELY would have told their managers. It's gross regardless of where it happens.

This isn't "tattling" about who said the word sh!t on the playground. This is reporting harassment.









I coudln't figure out how to put it, but that works for me!


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## flyingspaghettimama (Dec 18, 2001)

Um, where I come from, you gas station attendants, your carnies, your short-order cooks...hitting on underage women is par for the course. And as a PP mentioned, a lot of the time, they are also the manager, natch. And they always say you look older than 13/14/etc. Until you're older, and then they say you look younger.

Like the guy in Dazed and Confused, Wooderson: "That's what I love about those high school girls, man... I get older...they stay the same age. Yes they do."

Not saying it's right, just saying. Social skills are not a strong suit in these instances. If I had a daughter, I'd probably take her to some really great self-defense classes. And we would have a talk about creeps and how to deal with them. And if I was particularly incensed, I'd probably go yell at someone myself - but in the town I grew up in, it wouldn't make a difference. Because the gas attendant was the policeman's cousin, so...


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## Pynki (Aug 19, 2002)

It doesn't matter who is who's cousin/ uncle/ nephew. It still does not make it right. By saying "meh just let it go" it perpetuates the cycle that it's OK for this crap to happen. Women are not here for men's leering pleasure. Until each woman says NO! I will NOT stand for this and makes sure it is taken seriously it will continue. I don't give a rats rearend where you work, or what your job is, or what your education or income bracket is. Hitting on a 14 year old is WRONG! Until EVERYONE who does is taken to task EVERY TIME! NOTHING will change.


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## instantaccess (Oct 20, 2005)

you said your daughter doesnot look of age. meaning she still looking like a teenager/child. What he did was wrong. Not only should you report it to the store but also to the police. You have no idea if this man has picked up other children before and what he may of done. this may seem extreem however I live with a Le officer and you would be very shocked of the stories that end in a horriable way.. Stories that start out the exact way! Or stories of man that go out looking to pick up children. or work in public places so they can.

he was hitting on a child a child that does not look of legal age. that is wrong period. I may have the unpopular reply here but children these days are comming up missing and killed by older men or men of age and weman of age picking them up , abusing them and killing them.

When it comes to your children you have to do whatever it takes to be safe.

your daughter was very smart to run out and tell you!!!!! She sounds like a very bright kid!!!

this site is about people picking up young children online however you can also read stories of kids getting kidnapped and raped by people they met offline also..
In today's world you can never be to safe

http://www.perverted-justice.com/index.php?pg=support


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I'd consider it an honest mistake. Once she said she was 14 he dropped the subject. I think it would be wrong to call the manager and puts someone's job, and most likely, livlihood, on the line because they aren't good at judging ages.

~Nay


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pynki*
It is not "tattling" when you speak to those in authority about moral wrongs committed against you. Sexual harassment is WRONG. Trying to get a 14 year old's number when you are over 18 is WRONG. Solicitation of a minor is WRONG. I would report it to the management. It is WRONG to try and get ANYTHING from an adolescent girl as a grown man. This isn't "tattling" about who said the word sh!t on the playground. This is reporting harassment.









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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
I'd consider it an honest mistake. Once she said she was 14 he dropped the subject. I think it would be wrong to call the manager and puts someone's job, and most likely, livlihood, on the line because they aren't good at judging ages.

~Nay

He had NO BUSINESS even talking like that to ANYONE!
If I found out any of MY male family members were talking like that....


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pynki*
It doesn't matter who is who's cousin/ uncle/ nephew. It still does not make it right. By saying "meh just let it go" it perpetuates the cycle that it's OK for this crap to happen. Women are not here for men's leering pleasure. Until each woman says NO! I will NOT stand for this and makes sure it is taken seriously it will continue. I don't give a rats rearend where you work, or what your job is, or what your education or income bracket is. Hitting on a 14 year old is WRONG! Until EVERYONE who does is taken to task EVERY TIME! NOTHING will change.

Have I told you I love you lately Pynki? *swoon*

Report the slimeball. Hitting on a little girl like that is total unacceptable. Then talk to your daughter and let her know you are proud of her for sharing what happened.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
I'd consider it an honest mistake. Once she said she was 14 he dropped the subject. I think it would be wrong to call the manager and puts someone's job, and most likely, livlihood, on the line because they aren't good at judging ages.

I don't care if you're 30 years old. When you conduct business in a public venue, no one should have to be annoyed, assaulted, or just plain bothered with inappropriate sexual advances .

Women should be able to stop and put gas into their cars without these mundane activities being sexualized by some horny convenience store clerk trying to score. Imagine what this clown would say to a breastfeeding mother. What if this were a professional - an attorney you were consulting or a chiropractor - and his first actions when you walked into the office were to leer at you and say 'gee, you sure look good. Do you have a boyfriend?' Most of us would run out there totally creeped out, ready to file every kind of complaint.

Paid employees are accountable for their behavior when representing their company. His behavior is inappropriate, even presuming that he thought this girl was eighteen.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

I can't believe the responses I'm reading on this thread. Are most of you part of Man Bashers Anonymous?








He dropped the subject as soon as she told him her age. He didn't follow her out to the car, grab her breasts, or expose himself









Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
It's hard to believe a man that old wouldn't realize your DD is under 18 years of age but maybe he didn't. Does she look old for her age?

I just talked to my husband, and he confirmed that single men (which the guy most likely is, since he was attempting to FLIRT) often think that once a girl has breasts then she is probably old enough to date. If they don't have a wife or teenaged daughters they might not realize how young a girl can start developing.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
It sounds like once she told him his age that he didn't flirt anymore, right?

Yes, exactly. That is what it says in the original post.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
It sounds like he was definitely in the wrong for flirting in the first place, but he didn't do anything physically wrong. I'm 37 years old and can't stand men that make comments about my looks.

Wrong for flirting? What about women, are we allowed to flirt? If a girl is 16 (not that much different from 14, btw), and she thinks a salesclerk looks cute is she allowed to smile, or strike up conversation, or otherwise let him know she's interested in knowing him better? Or is it only wrong if it happens to be a man?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
It's sad that men that age flirt with little girls.







:

A) He thought she was older, b) he ended the conversation, and c) most 14 year olds don't look like "little girls"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
I remember being that age and having older men hit on me too, even married men a couple times.

Me too! I was 16, working at Revco (now CVS), and a man hit on me. When I told him my age he turned bright red with embarrassment and stammered an apology. It was an honest mistake! He honestly thought I was at least 18. And for whoever mentioned that he should have known she was just a kid because she was riding shotgun in her mom's car...puh-leeeeeeze! How many cars have you seen where every person just piles in the drivers seat?







: "I'm over 18 so I'm sitting in the drivers seat. Hey, I know, let's all sit in the drivers seat because we're all over 18!"








:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
I had an older guy follow me home from a grocery store when I was 14 and walking with a friend and called me jailbait (the first time I heard the term) and gave me his number. When my friend and I called it his wife answered and was very pissed. That was my first experience with a dirtbag sleaze such as that.

I'm sorry about your experience, but it is nothing like what happened to the OP's daughter. What you went through is creepy and truly harrassment. What she experienced was some guy _trying_ to harmlessly flirt. (Oh, wait, I'm sorry, flirting is EVIL on MDC







) IMO, she did a great job of handling what happened. The only thing that needed to be done afterwards is talk to her about what happened, ask her how she thinks she handled it, and maybe help her work out a dialouge she can use the next time the situation arises.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy68*
I think experiences like that are what help us figure out what to do in such situations.

*Exactly*, though to read most of the responses you'd think all men are jerks who think with their balls, and should all go to jail for any and every think they think and say about any woman any where in the world, including honest mistakes like what happened.

This thread makes me:







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~Nay


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
I can't believe the responses I'm reading on this thread. Are most of you part of Man Bashers Anonymous?







He dropped the subject as soon as she told him her age. He didn't follow her out to the car, grab her breasts, or expose himself









There are safer places to flirt. Almost every workplace has specific policies about sexually harrassing customers.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Wrong for flirting? What about women, are we allowed to flirt? If a girl is 16 (not that much different from 14, btw), and she thinks a salesclerk looks cute is she allowed to smile, or strike up conversation, or otherwise let him know she's interested in knowing him better? Or is it only wrong if it happens to be a man?

There's quite a difference between smiling and striking up a conversation and 'say, you look good pumping gas...do you have a boyfriend?' (gag, would ANYone respond to this garbage?)

No, women acting in a professional capacity are not allowed to flirt either. When a cute man comes into my office it is most certainly inappropriate for me to say 'wow, you look good in a tank top. Are you dating anyone?'

On their own time folks can do what they want. When they're on the job, they need to act the part.


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## AntoninBeGonin (Jun 24, 2005)

Okay, you two have a point. BUT STILL the responses are waaaaaay out of line. "Pervert" "sexual harrassement" etc? Does anyone truly want a person to lose his job, potentially get a police record that could follow him for life, all because he misjudged a girls age?

~Nay


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AntoninBeGonin*
Okay, you two have a point. BUT STILL the responses are waaaaaay out of line. "Pervert" "sexual harrassement" etc? Does anyone truly want a person to lose his job, potentially get a police record that could follow him for life, all because he misjudged a girls age?

~Nay

My concern has nothing to do with a man 'misjudging a girl's age', but the fact that he is an employee of a business.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

I don't remember anyone saying he should have his balls removed or be thrown in the slammer... but that a complaint to management is in order. Whether or not he followed her to her car to grab her breasts doesn't mean he wasn't out of line! She was a young teenage girl (who by her mother's description looks like a teenage girl) and this guy made advances to her. Someone should tell him it's not appopriate for him to be doing that, especially at his place of employment.

I am not a "man basher" I have four boys.

By the way I just checked with my husband and he said that thinking that any girl who has breasts is old enough to date an ADULT is one of the dumbest things he's ever heard...


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## CamsMama (Jun 6, 2005)

I haven't read all of your replies, but I wanted to express concern about situations like this. 2 years ago we were buying a house and I was checking sex offender registries in the area where we currently lived and in the area that we were moving to. On Easter 2005, I went into a convenience store that was located about 3 blocks from my former home on our way out of town. The clerk who waited on me watched me throughout the store, then tried to flirt with me as he was taking my money. The whole situation gave me the creeps. He seemed oddly familiar, but I figured it was because I used to live so close to the store (I had moved about 8 months prior). WRONG! On the way home I had a gut feeling that I had just seen his picture before. I was right. That convenience store clerk was a registered sex offender! I had just seen his picture the day before on the police website. You never know who people are and his interaction with your daughter could mean a lot more to him. You just never know.


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