# Does your toddler get upset when others are crying?



## earthgirl (Feb 6, 2006)

Recently, my DD (22 mos) gets really upset if she hears anyone cry, say "ouch", or anything like that. We were at the playground this afternoon and a little girl started crying. DD looked like she was going to cry and started saying, "Mama, hug, milk." She pretty much needs comforting anytime she sees anyone else distressed. While I think it's great that she is showing some clear signs of empathy, it tends to make being around other kids difficult at times. Is this just a normal toddlerhood phase?


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I think so. It probably would be upsetting to see someone else your size cry and not know what was going on.

My 2 year old gets very very quiet when someone's upset. His babies "cry" now and again and he bounces them up and down, pats their back and asks for milk. I think its just a part of learning whats going on in the world around you. You might try talking to her, see if you can draw out what she's thinking.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Yes.


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## sunnygir1 (Oct 8, 2007)

Dd is 19.5 months, and she has cried when others cry since she was 10 or 12 months old. It doesn't matter the age of the person who is crying.

It is really annoying when it is her 5 year old cousin throwing a fit.


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

My dd is 32 months and still gets upset by others crying, it doesn't always lead to tears but it does create a desire to snuggle.


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## quietserena (Apr 24, 2006)

Yup DD does.

Actually we had to leave the birth center a few weeks back because of this. There was someone in labor and we could hear all the normal labor sounds - and it was a relatively quiet labor too. DD kept getting really upset, saying that a girl was crying and trying to push me into the other room to help. Was sweet of her on some level but it made me worry about my own somewhat soon to happen labor.


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## RollerCoasterMama (Jul 22, 2008)

Mine is always very concerned and, if he can, tries to comfort by offering toys. Usually, he doesn't have access to the other child (at the store, etc)--but it always concerns him. We discuss (and sign) the emotions and feelings and they are helping him by providing the vocabulary to discuss what he sees. His daycare does similar things - practicing sharing and "nice" and kind words instead of "NO!" or "MINE!". The empathy has been a great developmental step this summer because it's not funny if Mommy yells "ouch!" from being bitten. He understands now and even though he still sometimes hits or bites, he always signs sorry and hugs and kisses the person he hurt.


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## verde (Feb 11, 2007)

My 3y/o DD has always been aware of other children crying. She always asks about the situation and seems genuinely concerned. Her preschool teacher told me that she comforts other children when they cry.


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## Wittyone (May 11, 2005)

Yep, here too. Ds says "mama, that baby/boy/girl is sad" when he hears a little kid crying and has said some version of that for a long time. He looks quite concerned. I've always validated that yes, they sound sad, and reassured him that the mommy or the daddy is taking care of them. He's usually satisfied with that and a hug.


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## CEVmommy (Jul 11, 2008)

Yes, dd gets upset if anyone else is upset. She also gets upset if she sees someone "fighting", even if it's just the dogs play wrestling. DH and his sister also play wrestle (yes, they are both grown-ups...) but they can't do it in front of dd anymore b/c it upsets her too much.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Yes, DD will cry when someone else is (she's 18 months).


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## KurumiSophia (Nov 28, 2007)

Yep. I was walking on my husband's back to help him with some backaches and he was moaning 'cause it hurt but in that good, it's getting better way. My daughter freaked out. She was crying and screaming. I had to stop so I could comfort her her and let her know that I wasn't hurting daddy but helping him.


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

My son (23 months) has been doing that for awhile. He'll often say "Baby (or whoever), sad!"

I find that it helps him if we try to DO something about it, together.

"Baby, sad!"
"Yes, Rowan *is* sad. What could we do to help him feel better?"

Obviously at first I had to jump in with suggestions, but now he'll suggest things- hug, kiss, nurse, toy, etc, and we'll do them.


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## TheBluebird (Dec 20, 2006)

My daughter gets a little upset, but not distraught. She will try to comfort a crying person, including when her mommy cries.


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## Swirly (May 20, 2006)

My dd is very empathetic with others. She says "she needs her mama..." Also, with her friends, she will hug them and pat them on the back to comfort them. She is a born mama. I love knowing part of it is that she has always witnessed us being higghly responsive to her cries, needs, and feelings.


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

I have the opposite child. Ds will smile and point, not in a mocking way but in a way that he wants me to see that someone is upset. He does want me to go over and see if the child is alright, but I always think someone must think he's laughing at a crying child or something.









On the other hand if I'm hurt and he did the hurting, he gets REALLY upset. He cries and will come over and kiss it all better


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## JennTheMomma (Jun 19, 2008)

My DS is 15 months. He usually just looks at the baby and studies him/her when crying.


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## Jess_n'_the_bean (May 12, 2006)

yes for our dd (21 months). she has always been very sensitive to others' distress - and other emotions. I think being at daycare has helped with increased exposure to crying and seeing the situation resolved (she is an only child). She deinitely takes notice and mirrors what she sees, gets upset as well and expresses worry. She doesn't have a lot of words yet and it helps a lot when I can say out loud that someone is sad, she's worried about them, reassure her that they are being taken care of, etc.


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