# What is the most outrageous thing someone has said...



## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

about pregnancy and/or birth to you?

I'm collecting some crazy quotes.

For me, the clincher was my sOB who told me at one prenatal visit:

"If you breastfeed, your breasts will look like the women in National Geographic"


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## aja-belly (Oct 7, 2004)

my grandmother's sOB found out she was nursing and told her "only *that 'n' word* and poor white trash do that"

aja


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## lynsage (Jul 13, 2004)

"If you lift your arms over your head, it will wrap the cord around the baby's neck."

"I want you to get on the internet and find a month-by-month chart of how much weight it is safe for a pregnant woman to lift and stick to it."

"Stop trying to do so much! You are NOT going to lose this baby!" (after i slipped on a TINY hill and very lightly landed on my butt at two months pregnant)

-all from my mom.


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## lynsage (Jul 13, 2004)

Oh, and I forgot this one:

More than one person asked me "Can your midwife do a C-section at home if something goes wrong?"

Although to their credit, they all laughed at themselves when I reminded them that there is such a thing as driving to the hospital in case of a real emergency.


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

I had one lady tell me she didn't believe that smoking or nutrition mattered during pregnancy, then she said:

"I mean, I believe that some things affect the baby...like raising your arms above your head and stuff...but not whether or not you smoke or what you eat. That's ridiculus."


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## Shonahsmom (Mar 23, 2004)

Upon telling my child's father that I was having a homebirth he replied "Well the only way I'll be there is if you get the midwives that can do epidurals at home."

*sidenote... he was there, there was no epidural and for being a jerk he really did pretty well at the birth.


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

My mom asked me whether I should be wading in the ocean up to my knees in the second trimester. What if some bacteria, uh, crawled up my leg to my womb? she wondered.


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## AugustLia23 (Mar 18, 2004)

When my DP was very(~8months) pregnant, she was walking down the street when someone walked up to her and told her that she shouldn't be walking around, because she would squish the baby's head!


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## ldsapmom (Apr 8, 2002)

Pam, I like that, sOB -- I should have figured that out sooner!

After pushing for over three hours, my sOB came in, assessed the situation, strapped a vacuum on my baby's head, and pulled him out, leaving me with a 3rd degree tear. At my six week check-up, while burning off random scar tissue with silver nitrate, she told me, WORD FOR WORD: "The miracle of birth is epidurals." I was crushed. My baby had been 9 1/2 pounds. No, "Way to go, Mama, for pushing him out!" That was when I was hit with the realization that this woman did not give a fig about me. In response I said, "I did not get the epidural, remember?" To which she said, "Oh yeah, that's right."

GRRRRR.

Never an OB for me again! Definetly a pivotal moment in my growth as a human being!


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## Hayes (Nov 20, 2001)

My OB, actually said to a mom in labor, actually in transition, but only 7 cm, ( I was the doula),"Sweetie, you just aren't the only person in the whole wide world today."

I almost fell over! She told her this because mom was only 7 cm and OB was about to leave the room.

I am having a homebirth this time around.


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## Tummy (Feb 24, 2005)

Words from a girlfried of mine whos 36.5 week prenatal appointment I went to with her. Mind you they did not do her gluclose test until 32 wks and found she had diabetes, so just 3 weeks into her *new* diet.

OB-"Although your blood sugar level is doing great and you seem to have your diabetes under control now, we can schedule your induction for Monday.

Mother-"But, I will not even be a full 37 weeks on Monday. Is it safe to induce me 3 weeks early? Will my baby be okay?"

OB-"Of course, we do not want your baby to get too big in your belly now, it will be hard for you to push him out."

Mother-"Well according to my u/s last week he is only 6lbs now. How much bigger is he going to get? My daughter was 7.9lbs and I had no problems pushing her out."

OB-"He may gain a few more pounds in the next two weeks. It is just safer if we induce you before he does get too large and you need to have a c/s due to his size."

Poor mommy left thinking she was going to give birth to a 10lb baby. Had her son at 40w 2d and a WHOPPING 7.4lbs... NO INDUCTION!!!


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## Tummy (Feb 24, 2005)

OMG!!!! HAVE TO ADD THIS ONE.. OMG!!!!

I was present for a friends birth 3 years ago. This woman had just (2mo prior) gotten out of the military, had prenatal but just moved from another state. No OB would take her being she was 36 weeks and did not have her prenatal records, they were in the mail. So we go to the hosp -mind you she is fully dialated and pushing when we get there-... this is what the sOB said to her as she was pushing!!!!!!







:

*"Not that this is going to make a difference in your birth, but... (stop pushing for a min, I must cut you, your just too little to push this baby out) do you have any insurance?"*

WTF?!?!?!


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## Kerlowyn (Mar 15, 2002)

My first birth was a transfer from a HB to the hospital for failure to progress (3 days I tried at home) I was in the labor room, with my HB midwife and my back up OB's midwife, both wonderful ladies. It was 8:00 PM, I had been on pit all day, s-l-o-w-l-y making progress. However, it was not fast enough for the hospital staff on call sOB, who was this nasty, vile old man. He came into the room, spoke harshly to the MW, put on a glove and stuck his hand in my vagina without asking! He then grabbed the baby's head and turned it and pulled him down, finishing the baby's rotation. The pain is something I'll never forget. He mumbled something to the midwives, and looked at me and said "if you don't have this baby in 30 minutes, I will be back here to do a c-section" Needless to say, I was terrified, scared out of my mind. I pushed and pushed fueled by the fear, not the place I wanted to be. 30 minutes later my 10 lbs 4 oz boy arrived, the fear was gone, we were all so happy....








Then Dr Evil came back in, and with a finger shake to the midwives, and a smirk on his face said.....

"I told you **I** could get that baby out in half an hour..."


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## Crystal_clear (Jan 19, 2004)

Great thread! Wish I could say I was shocked by some of this, but I'm not.

When I was pregnant with my first, I ran into a woman I know who was also pregnant - with a surprise baby 17 years after her dh's vasectomy. :LOL

She was so excited to have found an sOB who would "let" her VBAC, but she had been warned about the possible need for induction because "my body might forget how to go into labor".

I reminded her that her body hadn't forgotten how to get pregnant.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

I'm not sure if this counts, but once I had a woman say to me that since I thought labor was manageable and that I didn't think most women *needed* drugs that my contractions must not have been nearly as painful as hers.







: This was after she was telling about her labor and making it sound so awful and said that she was cussing at her dh during every contraction until she got the epidural. (and she got the epidural after 2 hours of labor and had a 15 hour long labor) Um, IMO, if she was able to talk during a contraction, then her contractions weren't as painful as mine. And that's all I have to say about that.

When I was pg w/ my first, this car repair guy had had my car in his shop for over a month. I was starting to get angry. I explained to him that I was 8 months pregnant, supposed to be on bedrest and I was tired of walking everywhere, including to my OB appts. He told me that a pregnant woman shouldn't be driving anyway.







:

After ds was born, every single person I told he was over 9 lbs ASSUMED immediately that he had been a c-sec. I made it very clear that I only pushed through 3 or 4 contrax and that it was no problem to push him out. It really annoyed me.

I also got the don't lift your hands over your head thing. How ridiculous!

I also had someone ask me how I was sure I had enough milk after I told her I was exclusively breastfeeding my 20lb 5 month old at the time. I just looked at her like she was nuts.

Other than that I just got the standard wierd stuff that everyone gets. I'm sure I'll be getting it again soon.


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

My mil is full of crazy quotes. She told me her dr said that babies aren't born with sinuses. That a babies sex keeps changing inutero right up till the time they are born. Thats why you can have u/s be wrong. She was also too nervous to bfed longer than the 6 weeks the dr told her to. Whatever the heck thats supposed to mean.

I have also heard the easy labor thing. Because I have unmedicated births at home women tell me my labors must be easy.









Michelle


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

I went into preterm labor with DS at 30 weeks and was on bedrest until 36 weeks. My midwife checked me at 36 weeks and I was 4 cm dilated. I was sharing this with some friends and one said "oh, good, you can get your epidural as soon as you go to the hospital - you can go now!" She was surprised that I stayed at 4 cm for 3 weeks, and was shocked that I didn't get an epidural. This is the same lady who wants to become a midwife.


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## Simply Nurtured (Nov 6, 2004)

Many of you know this, but I had unmedicated births, last 2 no monitor, no IV, in hospitals, really good births overall. The last one was only 3 hours, not even a hep lock. My DH makes an awesome doula.

When pregnant with our 2nd child, we took refresher childbirth classes and the CBE told us that whatever breathing worked, use it, not to get caught up in trying to do different ones at different stages.

*While in labor (2nd birth, 1989) I was coping extremely well, and found a pattern of breathing that was really working for me and I was in a great ritual, and this bleached blonde blue-eye shadow wearing nurse got close to my face and told me I was "BREATHING WRONG". And she proceeded to try to teach me the "correct" method.*

I was close to transition, and I turned to my DH and whispered "Get her the H*** out of my face or I will have to deck her."

I am normally very sweet and gentle. :LOL


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

From some very dear friends of ours:

"Oh, you're plannning a homebirth? How are you ever going to get the house as sterile as a hospital?"

We promptly told them that a hospital is nothing close to sterile and I'm more afraid of the germs there than the friendly germs I'm used to here in my own home!

:LOL


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Are you counting c-sections?

The most outrageous thing anybody said to me was about my c-section...although there have been a lot of other comments as well. The winner:

My sister, when I went to see her in the L&D room upon delivering her son, said *"you and mom & Karen (my SIL) are all pathetic"*...because we had all had emergency c-sections, instead of vaginal births. (I think it bothered me even more than it might have otherwise, because I was put under while stating that I didn't want a $#*% section, and my sister had asked for one repeatedly throughout her labour.)


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## stayinghome (Jul 4, 2002)

My neighbor, who is a post partum nurse at the local hospital, said that "they [the hospital] never do vbacs anymore because the doctors realized they were just too risky."








It's sad, beause other then the Amish having their babies at home, this is one of only 2 hospitals in this area that delivers babies.


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## milkymama1104 (Mar 22, 2005)

My dd was the first baby born in 2004 in our city and county....So, since we live in a small town the local newspaper sent a journalist to the hospital to take pictures and interview me for an article. Anyway, when this woman showed up she looked at me and said: "Oh, you're young! That means that you OF COURSE did the sensible thing and had an epidural. But since your baby was two weeks late why didn't you go for an elective c/s?" The sad thing was that she was actually serious. I didn't even have to really react, one of the nurses was present and really jumped her case about it. To quote the nurse: "Are you crazy? Just because she's 20 she has to have drugs? This is a smart, powerful woman who just did a beautiful thing by herself and you should be congratulating her! She waited until the baby was ready and did an amazing job of it! You should be ashamed of yourself for even assuming things like that!" The reporter's jaw just dropped and I couldn't do anything but laugh!









(She did end up putting in her article that I had a short and painless labor and I had to write her a scathing letter.....)


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## Fish (Nov 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Full Heart*
She told me her dr said that babies aren't born with sinuses. That a babies sex keeps changing inutero right up till the time they are born. Thats why you can have u/s be wrong.

Michelle

























That is one of the funniest things that I have ever read.


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## Thmom (May 4, 2004)

I had an ob resident tell a client (she wanted delayed cord cutting) that if he didn't cut the cord right away the ductus arteriosus wouldn't close properly and the baby's lungs wouldn't function properly. Thankfully she was a nurse and knew this was bull from the get go but what do you say to crap that stinks that bad?? LOL


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## Thmom (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyBug & BabyBug*
I went into preterm labor with DS at 30 weeks and was on bedrest until 36 weeks. My midwife checked me at 36 weeks and I was 4 cm dilated. I was sharing this with some friends and one said "oh, good, you can get your epidural as soon as you go to the hospital - you can go now!" She was surprised that I stayed at 4 cm for 3 weeks, and was shocked that I didn't get an epidural. This is the same lady who wants to become a midwife.









similiar experience... I was 5cm and planning a UC which everyone thought I was crazy for anyway... and upon telling a friend that I was 5cm she got very concerned that the baby would "just fall out" :LOL don't I wish!


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## niki_73 (Oct 6, 2004)

A friend of mine told me there is no point having the lights dimmed when they baby is born because they can't see anyway, she also told me she would have a c-section because it is less painful than a vaginal birth.


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## sarajane (Oct 20, 2004)

Quote:

they can't see anyway
Gee whiz, even mainstream pregnancy books say that the baby reacts to light while still in the womb.


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

:


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## sarajane (Oct 20, 2004)

I just remembered one. I mostly have gotten the usual remarks of braveness and your nuts kinda thing but I did get one that kinda threw me. Someone said

"Well but if your water breaks of course they have to do something right away! You can't just wait because the baby won't live."


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## WinterBaby (Oct 24, 2002)

aunt on my homebirth - "They can do epidurals at home now?!"


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

Had the typical "Are you NUTS?" and "Are you kidding?" reactions to announcing (6 days before delivering) that we were having a homebirth. Mind you, this announcement was made on Christmas Day to a medical family! Everyone thought I was crazy because I was making a choice to NOT have an epidural!

My mom came to one of our early midwife appts to put her fears at ease and she actually asked the midwife (as I hung my head in shame) "If she's in too much pain, can you give her an epidural?"







I know my mom meant well (who wants to know that their kid is in major pain and not getting relief?) but it was still a bit embarassing.

About 5 months into my second pregnancy, me dad asked, "you guys are done having kids now, right?" (He knew we were pregnant but thinks more than 2 kids is absurd.)

Hmmmm, what else...? People thought we were nuts because we were planning (and succeeded) to have our ds present at his sister's homebirth.

I'm tired of people telling me he'll get jealous of her- so far, so good- he loves her more than anything- and even shares his beloved blanket with her!


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

I totally forgot to add, when I walked up the stairs at the family Christmas party (remember, 6 days before delivering) I saw a cousin of mine who I hadn't seen in a while and she said to me, "So, have you had the baby yet?"


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## Galatea (Jun 28, 2004)

From a sOB:

"I could not do an episiotomy, but then your labia would rip off."

We went to the midwives that same day.


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## doctorjen (May 29, 2003)

"She told me her dr said that babies aren't born with sinuses."

That's actually pretty much true. The sinuses are air-filled cavities within the facial bones. The maxillary and frontal (cheek and forehead) sinues aren't aerated at birth, but become so by the early teens.

The changing gender until birth thing, though . . .

People tell me all the time "They had to break my water every time because it just wouldn't break on it's own." Usually, these folks are talking about their water being broken at like 4 cms. No, they didn't HAVE to break your water, they just chose too.


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

When planning an unassisted birth my husband's friend asked where I was going to have the baby, on the kitchen table, and would I need to buy stirrups. :LOL


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## CarolynnMarilynn (Jun 3, 2004)

This one isn't about birth but...

when I was a midwifery student I had a client who exclusively breastfed a baby from 10 lbs to 14 pounds in about 5 weeks. She was told by her paed to stop exclusively breastfeeding because a baby that big needed more than just breastmilk.... uhhh, duuh, how do you think the baby FREAKIN' GREW THAT BIG??? On lovely breastmilk of course. The lack of logic astounds.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I have not read this whole thread, but I was told by a woman that her doctor told her he got the baby out so quick that the drugs from the epidural never reached the baby...

REALLY?

From what very little I know of physiology, I do know that the drugs work faster than what he has lead her to believe, and even if it was a small amount, the amount to make the 150+ pound mother numb is far more than what it takes to effect the little one that weighs 5-9 pounds.

I also know the nerves are immediately affected and the bloodstream carries the "drug" far within a couple of heartbeats..

So why would a doctor lie like that?


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

A friend of mine was told by her doctor that he would sew her up nice and tight so that, "...She would not be flapping in the breeze..."


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

When my SIL had her son, her second child, her Father, DH and DD had the flu and could not come in and see the new baby.

Her son was born with a cleft lip. It was repaired within a few weeks, and he was bf'd. No problem.

Her mother, an alcoholic, did not have the flu, but was full of liquor, was allowed by the rules of the hospital to come in to see her baby, and said,

"Since when do we have monsters in our family?"


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

These gems from my MIL:
"Oh, I had toxemia with my first. The only way to cure it is to go on a jello and fruit juice diet to flush out the toxins. That was all I was allowed to eat my last month of pregnancy."







To this day I have failed to convince her that perhaps a 'jello and fruit juice diet' might be less than prudent and yes, apparently this is the diet her OB put her on. I suspect it had more to do with her 50 lbs. weight gain than any 'toxemia'! Remember, this was back in the day when a 15 lbs gain was standard.

Also from MIL: "that's nice that your homebirths have turned out well, but if I hadn't been in the hospital I would have died and my son with me. My sister had the same thing happen". What happend you might ask? She had a forceps delivery b/c she was tired and *DIDN"T WANT TO PUSH THE BABY OUT*. I actually laughed when she told me. So I asked her, "so what do you think would have happend? The baby would have stayed in forever until you both just died?" she said "YES"!!!!!!!


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

We are pregnant with our first and this woman in the laundrymat was asking the standard questions etc...so anyway, after finding out we are having a girl she started making the "she is going to be a daddy's girl" comments...which, whatever, if she is, she is, I am sure she will love us both just fine....but she said to me:

"Around 4 or so when she is REALLY and Daddy's girl and doesn't love you anymore, that is when you have another child to keep YOU company"...

Um, yeah, I bring human beings into the world out of jealousy of a father/daughter relationship....

A bit off topic but I was reading the pregnancy forum and one of my BIGGEST pet peeves are the old "you are carrying low/put the ring on a string/you have longer nails/your face is pink/you crave sweets ...you are having a boy/girl..."

Look, the chances of a boy or a girl are roughly about 50/50 (100 girls to 102 boys or something, or maybe that is reversed) so I am sure once in a while the gender wives tale "predictions" come true...but argh, it is SO annoying to me that people still believe that crap...it is one thing to play fun guessing games for FUN, but some people REALLY believe it and strangers will come up to you and even comment and it gets me so much! It is 2005 people!!


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

I've heard a few doozies...

sOB seeing me after going to hospital during my HB, after about 26 hours labour at this point...
[while patting my belly at the same time and I never even knew her name]
"You can't just come in here demanding a caesarean with the first niggling pains of labour!"

How about the head of midwfery in the same hospital saying to me, "Thank you for your feedback. Now that we have a c-sec rate of over 30% we want the OR to be as nice as possible for our ladies."
I said I thought she needed to go back a few paces and fix the fact that they had an outrageous c-sec rate, not just make a pretty environment for the unnecessary ops!

I have a whole list of reasons given for c-secs from another site I'm on







(I collected them)

We have to cut you open to get your baby out because....

your feet are too small
your feet are too big
your pelvis is too small
your pelvis is too flat
your hips are too small
you are too skinny
you are too fat
you are too old
you are too young
your uterus is mishapen
your cervix is incompetent
your baby is too small
your baby is too big
your babies are too many
your baby is breech
your baby might have an abnormality
your baby might have a cord issue
your sugar levels are too high
your sugar levels are too low
your blood pressure is too high
your blood pressure is too low
your baby's heart tones are too fast
your baby's heart tones are too slow
the shoulders might get stuck
her head might not mold
your contractions are ineffective
your contractions are too strong
your foot is broken
your spine isn't straight
your baby hasn't dropped
you have too much amniotic fluid
you don't have enough amniotic fluid
your baby has too much blood going to her head.
your uterus only has so many contractions in it before it ruptures/stops labouring
you're too allergic to pain relief for natural birth (WTF??? I was told this one in a shop)
you'll never go into labour (I wish I owned that crystal ball)
you're 7 days overdue
the baby had trouble getting in, it might have trouble getting out (mama had fertility issues)


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

at a bloodwork appt with a gyn, the nurse was retaking my birth history. i told her my last baby had been born at home. the next thing she asks: so, was he born vaginally or by cesarean? and this is a hb-friendly practice....guess it had been a long day









nothing like those home cesareans!


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *georgia*
at a bloodwork appt with a gyn, the nurse was retaking my birth history. i told her my last baby had been born at home. the next thing she asks: so, was he born vaginally or by cesarean? and this is a hb-friendly practice....guess it had been a long day









nothing like those home cesareans!

:LOL


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## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

Someone was telling me that her daughter was having a planned c-section for her second child, "since she'd had to have a section for her first." I asked if there was some permanent damage from her first birth or something, and she said no, just that you always have to have c-sections once you've had a c-section: "Yes, it's just common medical knowledge. It's not good for the babies to have a natural birth if the first baby was born by c-section. All doctors know this." I said, "Wow, really? All doctors say that?" And she said, "Yes. It's a medical fact."

I let it go. What do you say to that?







:

A doctor of someone in my birth class with my first pregnancy told her that he wished he could give all mothers in labor an epidural, let them sleep, and wake them up and tell them to cough when they hit 10 centimeters -- there was no reason at all to let women go through labor pain.


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## sarajane (Oct 20, 2004)

Medical fact huh? I don't know if I could of let that one go! Man, can't believe people actually believe this stuff...


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fiddledebi*
A doctor of someone in my birth class with my first pregnancy told her that he wished he could give all mothers in labor an epidural, let them sleep, and wake them up and tell them to cough when they hit 10 centimeters -- there was no reason at all to let women go through labor pain.









Actually, that sounds like a sweet doctor. Now I know epidural have risks, I just mean that he seemed to sympathize with the pain women go through. That's much better than a jerk of a doctor that doesn't understand all the noises you may make during a natural birth (And tell you that you need to be quiet.) because they either don't care, or don't understand about the pain.

This one is about birth, but it still gets me to this day. I don't know how anyone can think this wasn't a rude thing to say. I was in a store with my first born when she was just weeks old. Two older women came up to me and kept commenting on how beautiful she was. Then one said to me, "She must look like her father." Thanks lady.


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## Belleweather (Nov 11, 2004)

At my 10 week appointment, my OB noticed that I had mentioned to the nurse that I was having some bleeding from my gums. He took the time out of his oh, so very busy schedule to mention that pregnant women shouldn't swish with listerine because the alcohol in the mouth wash could cause their babies to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

I will be SO happy when the insurance finally straightens out and I can fire that man.


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## mandalamama (Sep 1, 2004)

i had gestational diabetes and once i started going in for NSTs and ultrasounds at the end of the pregnancy, i kept hearing the most lame-ass statements (from staff who'd never met me before):

"so, when are we going to induce you?" uh, NEVER.

"so, when are we going to deliver you?"







: what am i, a pizza??


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## doctorjen (May 29, 2003)

On a similar vein to mellybean, when I was 41 weeks with my 3rd, my family doc asked me to get an NST. When I got to the hospital, the resident instead insisted on doing a biophysical profile - telling me "I'll fudge and make your fluid low if you want so you can be induced." Yeah, that's what I want. Falsely give me a non-existing condition so I can force my doc into an induction I don't want. Then he told me that the way the fluid looked, there was almost certainly meconium in the fluid.
Ds was born, in his own time, 2 days dater, with no meconium or any problem at all.

The last time I was pregnant, for some reason everyone around me the whole last month kept saying things like "You must be so tired" and "Bet you can't wait to get that baby out of there" and my favorite "Are you STILL pregnant?" No, idiot, I had the baby last week, I left her at home, stuffed a basketball under my shirt and came to work anyway, YES, I'm STILL pregnant.
And I birthed that baby right on her due date, so it's not like I was pregnant all that long. No one could understand that I was really enjoying my last pregnancy ever, and was in no hurry to get the baby out.


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

the most outrageous thing anyone said to me, and it was said by more people than I can count:

"you are so lucky you were in the hospital. You were so lucky your doctor wasn't on call and you had a doctor who does so many c-sections. He saved your baby's life."


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mellybean*
"so, when are we going to deliver you?"







: what am i, a pizza??






























That is one of the BEST comebacks I've read yet. I wish you had really said that to her. :LOL I always hated the phrase, the doctor/midwife/CNA/nurse/husband/etc delivered the baby, anyway. The MOTHER delivers the baby, the others are just helpers.


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belleweather*
At my 10 week appointment, my OB noticed that I had mentioned to the nurse that I was having some bleeding from my gums. He took the time out of his oh, so very busy schedule to mention that pregnant women shouldn't swish with listerine because the alcohol in the mouth wash could cause their babies to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

I will be SO happy when the insurance finally straightens out and I can fire that man.

I doubt that I'm the only one that's amazed at how some of these people actually become doctors, and more so that some put them right up there with God and believe every bit of drivel that comes out of their mouths.







: Sad for all those mamas and babies.


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## citizenfong (Dec 24, 2002)

When we were planning for a UC I went very overdue. Suddenly my ILs realized that we really did not mean to consult with an OB unless absolutely necessary (and we obviously had differing opinions about what constituted "necessary). It wasn't just a lark...la dee da, let's have our baby at home...

So my FIL had "a talk" with dh. Dh reminded his dad that woman were having babies at home forever until recently. To which FIL replied, "And that's why the graveyards were filled with tiny coffins."









I am very appreciative of my dh for not sharing that story with me until after the birth.


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doctorjen*
Then he told me that the way the fluid looked, there was almost certainly meconium in the fluid.
Ds was born, in his own time, 2 days dater, with no meconium or any problem at all.

That is so strange. I got a call from a woman a few weeks ago - she had had 5 normal pregnancies and then a stillbirth at 35 weeks for no apparent reason. Her OB was anxious to induce her at 38 weeks b/c of the prior stillbirth. She refused. So at 40 weeks they do a BPP and tell her that she MUST be induced (but not for 2 days when they can get her on the schedule) b/c on u/s they can see 'there is meconium in the fluid'. I said I had never, EVER heard of such a thing while working almost 5 years in L&D. I really thought it sounded bogus. Anyway, she went in for induction - which they began by rupturing her membranes and releasing totally CLEAR fluid. Is this some new idiot trend? "we can see mec on u/s"?


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

I had a woman tell me that she would never have a hb because her son was born at the hospital and after they cut the cord he had trouble breathing and of course would have died if they were at home.

I said, "Wow that sounds scary. I sure am glad that my mw leaves the cord intact so that my son will continue to receive oxygen rich blood until the placenta delivers. And of course she is lisenced so she has resusitation equipment if he has any breathing problems."


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## jessemoon (May 31, 2004)

I posted this some months ago in another thread.

My nephew was born in our local hospital (8lbs 10 oz) by c-section. I was standing in the birth-center lobby waiting for my sister-in-law to get her epidural prior to her c-section. I was standing next to my father-in-law (I was 7 months pregnant at the time and planning a homebirth) and my SIL's Dr. was filling out paper-work behind the counter.

My FIL looked at me and said "Well, you are going to have to break that c-section curse when you have your baby". (His prior other grandchildren had also been born via c-section). My SIL's Dr. looked up, looked at my pregnant belly and said "Don't count on it...all those boys in that family (meaning my DH's) have huge heads." and went back to filling out paperwork.

I was both furious and scared. This was my first baby and this man who was not my Dr. had just said that he predicted a c-section for me. Well, after much reassurance by my MW I had my great big baby with his great big head at home and I sent the Dr. a birth announcement with all the stats of DS's size on it in bold letters . Sheesh...


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom2six*
That is so strange. I got a call from a woman a few weeks ago - she had had 5 normal pregnancies and then a stillbirth at 35 weeks for no apparent reason. Her OB was anxious to induce her at 38 weeks b/c of the prior stillbirth. She refused. So at 40 weeks they do a BPP and tell her that she MUST be induced (but not for 2 days when they can get her on the schedule) b/c on u/s they can see 'there is meconium in the fluid'. I said I had never, EVER heard of such a thing while working almost 5 years in L&D. I really thought it sounded bogus. Anyway, she went in for induction - which they began by rupturing her membranes and releasing totally CLEAR fluid. Is this some new idiot trend? "we can see mec on u/s"?

Supposedly it looks cloudy and if its really thick has particles. Supposedly. I would think vernix would look like particles too. Can't imagine how accurate it can be. They can't even detect gender 100% of the time, like the consistency of the fluid is gonna be anywhere near accurate?


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Dh had an appointment with a rheumatologist late in my first pg. He was having some symptoms of autoimmune illness at the time. Anyway, he's fine now. A nurse came in the room and saw that I was pregnant. She told me to absolutely "get the epidural." Then she went on to say that I should actually opt for a c-section. She had one with her first and would do the same with the next because "it was so easy." Dh and I were pretty much speechless, since we'd been planning a natural birth from the beginning. Anyway, even though it was 2.5 weeks from my EDD, I had a happy, healthy baby girl in my arms the next morning. She was born with my awesome mw in an awesome hospital 20 minutes after we arrived! I felt like tracking that nurse down and telling her a thing or two!


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## doctorjen (May 29, 2003)

After the meconium scare for myself, I talked with a couple different experienced ultrasonographers about this. Apparently, particulate meconium can make the fluid appear more, well, particulate, on ultrasound - but so can vernix, and vernix is far more likely. The head of MFM where I trained said he would never make such a diagnosis or suggest such a thing. Regardless, meconium is sort of a non-issue unless something else is going on.
When I was admitted in labor with that same baby, I had to initially be evaluated by a (different) resident. This one insisted on doing another ultrasound for size of all things, and fluid levels - even though I was in active labor and had just had the stupid thing done two days before. I was sort of busy concentrating on being in labor, and couldn't somehow muster the ability to argue with him. My dh was waiting outside with my older ds, because another woman was having a big panic attack in the triage area with me, and the staff didn't want my ds in there. This resident made a big point of telling me the baby was "at least 8 1/2 lb" which at the time scared me - my previous biggest baby was 7 lbs 11 oz, and I pushed for 2 hours with him. I actually really enjoyed this labor once I got rid of the residents, but I spent a lot of time thinking about my meconium stained, giant baby in there while laboring. Prior to that, I had been sure that the baby was bigger than my dd, but smaller than my older ds. In the end, my water broke just before I was ready to push, the fluid was nice and clear, but full of vernix, and the baby was 7 lbs 9 oz - bigger than dd and smaller than ds.
I later had my 8lb 15 oz dd without a bit of problem, so turns out I didn't need to worry about the size thing anyway, but geez, what is the point of trying to scare a poor laboring woman anyway. I never make size comments like that. If people try to pin me down, I usually persist in saying "It's a nice normal size baby" because thinking you have to push out a giant baby helps no one, least of all the mama who is blessed with a nice, big baby!


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doctorjen*
After the meconium scare for myself, I talked with a couple different experienced ultrasonographers about this. Apparently, particulate meconium can make the fluid appear more, well, particulate, on ultrasound - but so can vernix, and vernix is far more likely. The head of MFM where I trained said he would never make such a diagnosis or suggest such a thing. Regardless, meconium is sort of a non-issue unless something else is going on.

That was sort of what I suspected. They had told this woman they could see particles and I asked 'how do they know it's not vernix?' Also mentioned that mec in and of itself is a non-issue. I sort of felt like this OB was taking advantage of this woman's fear from the prior stillbirth. She did wind up with a natural delivery though.

Quote:

This resident made a big point of telling me the baby was "at least 8 1/2 lb" which at the time scared me - my previous biggest baby was 7 lbs 11 oz, and I pushed for 2 hours with him. I actually really enjoyed this labor once I got rid of the residents, but I spent a lot of time thinking about my meconium stained, giant baby in there while laboring.
I can't tell you the number of women that come in b/c of u/s at term for either induction or c/sec b/c of a large estimated fetal weight that wind up with a totally normal sized infant. My own SIL had an elective primary c/sec based on u/s that showed a 'macrosomic infant' and she had a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, so she had been told all kinds of worst case scenarios by her OB (SHOULDER DYSTOCIA! ERB'S PALSY! FETAL DEMISE! you name it). Her 'huge' baby wound up being 6-12. And she lives in an area where those who will do a VBAC are few and far between







.


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## Greensleeves (Aug 4, 2004)

M


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## chasmyn (Feb 23, 2004)

:


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## andreac (Jul 13, 2003)

A good friend of mine who is pg w/twins was telling me about her hospital birthing class. The nurse was talking about how great the epidurlal is





















then actually had the nerve to tell a class full of pg women, whom she is supposed to be educating(!!!) that the "BEST" thing is to be induced, becuase they can do the epidural before they start the pit and the then "you don't have to feel a thing" uke That nurse should have her liscence revoked


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *andreac*
The nurse was talking about how great the epidurlal is





















then actually had the nerve to tell a class full of pg women, whom she is supposed to be educating(!!!) that the "BEST" thing is to be induced, becuase they can do the epidural before they start the pit and the then "you don't have to feel a thing" uke That nurse should have her liscence revoked









Talk about an invitation to 'failure to progress'!


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *applejuice*
A friend of mine was told by her doctor that he would sew her up nice and tight so that, "...She would not be flapping in the breeze..."










uke With my first the male doctor and my boyfriend were talking about sewing me up tight.







:


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

My dd's - especially the first - look just like dh. After my first, my inlaws said several times in front of me to friends of theirs (and these are normally very cool people), "Well, there's no question who the father is!" Was there any question about it before????







:


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *love_homebirthing*
My dd's - especially the first - look just like dh. After my first, my inlaws said several times in front of me to friends of theirs (and these are normally very cool people), "Well, there's no question who the father is!" Was there any question about it before????







:

Reading all these posts is bringing bad back memories. :LOL With my last my SIL asked me if it was her brother's child.







: I had NEVER even cheated on him for crying out loud.







I guess she had asked because we had a period of three years where we weren't together (Before we got married.) and I was engaged to someone else and pregnant (He just stopped talking to me one day during my pregnancy so we had been apart for over a year when her brother and I got back together.), then her brother and I got back together shortly after my son was born. But still, we were a couple, planning on getting married, and of course it was his child.







:

I lost my first child at 12 weeks pregnant and my neighbor said to my Mom, "I hope she learned her lesson."







:

My Mom wouldn't give me a babyshower with my first daughter because, "Nobody would come." (Because the baby's father wasn't white.).


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *love_homebirthing*
My dd's - especially the first - look just like dh. After my first, my inlaws said several times in front of me to friends of theirs (and these are normally very cool people), "Well, there's no question who the father is!" Was there any question about it before????







:

My ils say that all the time







.

My sil's kids are from a previous marriage. bil basically raised them from the time they were 2 and 2 mos old though. They have tried to get pg for years and have had 3 losses. When I was pg with one of my kids ils said, " Oh another real xxxxxx (our last name)" Talk about mean spirited!

Michelle


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## NoraB (Dec 10, 2002)

When we announced our pregnancy, FIL asked, "If it's a boy are you going to close up shop?"

I said, "NOpe. We have to catch up w/ that Arkansas family that has 14 kids." Heh heh heh.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Full Heart*
My ils say that all the time







.

My sil's kids are from a previous marriage. bil basically raised them from the time they were 2 and 2 mos old though. They have tried to get pg for years and have had 3 losses. When I was pg with one of my kids ils said, " Oh another real xxxxxx (our last name)" Talk about mean spirited!

Michelle

That's really awful! My ds turned 3 a few days before dh and I got married. After dh and I were married, I overheard my MIL telling people that she had a new DIL AND a randchild. She was so excited to be a grandma. She sent cards for every special ocasion since our marriage adressed o my ds as her grandson. Now we get cards addressed to the grandkids. LOL! That's the way it should be. I think she cried when we told her dh was adopting ds and we were going to change his last name. FIL isn't quite as open, but he doesn't treast ds1 any differently thatn ds2 and even asks him if he wants to sit w/ grandpa when we visit. They both would love it if ds would call them grandma and grandpa, but he won't for some reason. He loves them, they're great, but he won't call them anything but Rosemary and Walt.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

:


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## pamamidwife (May 7, 2003)

a friend, who had just had a baby, told me when I was six months pregnant:

"Oh, LOVE the episiotomy! The episiotomy is YOUR FRIEND!!"

With "friends" like that, who needs enemies??


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## calebsmama03 (Feb 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Galatea*
From a sOB:

"I could not do an episiotomy, but then your labia would rip off."

We went to the midwives that same day.

My best friend's sOB told her that if she didn't get an episiotomy she'd lose all bladder control and never be abe to pee normally again. Sad thing is, she is so mainstream that she believed him!! Then when she had a more moderate OB for her delivery that DIDN"T do the episiotomy she was actually MAD at her!!!! So sad the crap they feed to women that they actually believe


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## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

while in labour the nurse kept asking me if i wanted the epidural (though i had about 5 copies of my birth plan stating that NO ONE even ASK me and if i wanted it i'd ask myself) and i kept refusing and then she said "you know, you dont have to be a MARTYR"







:


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## brusselsprout (Jan 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom2six*
That is so strange. I got a call from a woman a few weeks ago - she had had 5 normal pregnancies and then a stillbirth at 35 weeks for no apparent reason. Her OB was anxious to induce her at 38 weeks b/c of the prior stillbirth. She refused. So at 40 weeks they do a BPP and tell her that she MUST be induced (but not for 2 days when they can get her on the schedule) b/c on u/s they can see 'there is meconium in the fluid'. I said I had never, EVER heard of such a thing while working almost 5 years in L&D. I really thought it sounded bogus. Anyway, she went in for induction - which they began by rupturing her membranes and releasing totally CLEAR fluid. Is this some new idiot trend? "we can see mec on u/s"?

I haven't finished reading the thread so I don't know if anyone else has answered this, but when my mom was pregnant with me more than 30 years ago they induced her 6 weeks early (which ended up being failure to progress and a c-section) because they believed there was meconium in the fluid.


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

A friend at work told me to lay around, eat whatever I wanted, just get the epidural, and everything will be Ok. All of which are counterproductive to a healthy birth...????


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

This wasn't advice, but I overheard a lady at work bragging about how she made her doctor induce her early so that she could go to the state fair and go on all the rides. She gave birth on a Wednesday and went on the rides on a Saturday. I just about choked right there!


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## soulsistah (Apr 21, 2005)

From my MIL: Well what are you going to do after the baby is born? Is anyone going to clean him up? What about the house, won't it be a mess? (This was in response to my planned HB. Nevermind that my husband/her son and I had moved cross country for me to go to midwifery school and I had just graduated???)

My Grandmother who was a L&D nurse for 30+ years: So honey how's your Dr. visits going? Have you decided to have the baby naturally or not? (Again after just graduating from midwifery school!!!!!)








Alrighty then! I just finally gave up talking to them about it.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I was told by a group of Indian women at a cultural event that dh and I attended, "I think your baby must be a girl. Yes, a girl. Girls will steal a mother's beauty when she's carrying."

Um, thanks.







: I didn't think I was *that* ugly. :LOL

Second thing is that I was told by Dh's guru to avoid violent or shocking movies or music because then the baby would be out of control with emotions. I humored dh to the point where he covered my eyes if a bad commercial came on. Well . . I gave birth to a little firecracker of a child. With Nitara's pregnancy I watched whatever the heck I wanted since I was on bedrest. She turned out to be a very easy baby.


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## mmmummy (Mar 12, 2005)

my ob with ds g,now 2 1/2..only went to him once. he felt my breasts for eons (at 8.2 days),enough time for me to tell him all about my school history and so on..and then says "classic engorgement"!! then they said we couldnt bring in a video for our ultrasound (when we went to pick up my records later,a pregnant woman walked by with a video tape,just like their pamplets say you can do..we were so mad/sad and dont know why they said no.) then when the woman doing the ulrasound says "8 weeks 2 days" my husband was happily saying how i was "spot on!!" for exactly how far along we thought we were..based soley on implantation bleeding and date i took the test (we didnt tell her how we knew. and my mother thinks the only way was if we only had unprotected sex once or had a condom break. um,no,no mum..but i dont explain it to her either..i dont share private things with her at all.)and she gets angry,angry that i knew how old my baby was. so she grits her teeth,remeausers,adds a bit,grumbles "8 weeks THREE days.." and thats what she put down for it..huh. then with my dd c,3 months,i had one midwife who was super eager to induce and i mean she was telling me that we would be killing our baby if we didnt,in not so many words...they thought my due date was the 15th..and honestly,that was a date i think i had given them (i didnt see a midwife until dec,but anyway..) but then it was let slip that the u/s said the 26th!! and i got to thinking about it and....yes,yes that was right,to the day!! but did they believe me then? nooo,of course not. and one of the midwives i couldnt stand was on call the morning i went into labour. i was actually praying to hold out until my favourite midwife was there for the next shift,and i did (and then some) but oh was i ever happy it was her. i could have just hugged her or danced for joy had i not been in labour!! oh,and i almost forgot,but with my son they told me my hormone levels were "a little low but nothing to worry about.." but when i got my records and compared my numbers to the norm,its amazing i didnt lose him. i have lost several other babies and they knew it to,but didnt believe me. oh,and the woman talking to us about payments and seeing the doctor and giving us our books,info packs at first kept asking me all these questions and when i refused to say how i knew i lost my babies she kept asking me over and over if i had had abortions and if i was sure..(number one i am extremely prolife,number 2 my babies had died and i couldnt stop it from happening,number three im almost in tears already and shortly after while being weighed was telling my husband i just wanted to go home..) and here she was,saying because i couldnt tell her how i knew,that i had aborted them?! and she wasnt using it in the medical way of "spontaneous abortion",either. so when i also mentioned how people cant believe you can see really tiny babies,she tells me how of course,people bring them in in little baggies all the time. she didnt put it kindly,just acted like little babies were some sort of take out gone wrong..it was just horribly sad. on the flip side they did fit me in straight away i had told them about my history. but it went downhill from there thats for sure. oh,and when i couldnt breathe for a solid week,i was told i was fine and it was just nerves at the er,and also i has a sensitive tummy (just bumping a doorknob when pregnant for me is agony) but ultrasound techs and such with always tell me they arent hurting me,or simply must be done...oh i could go on all day and i havent even had many doctors. dont even start with the woman gyn i saw about a cyst who 1) asked me if i was having sex and i said no said "i didnt think so" (thanks,i must look like a dog and no one would WANT to have sex with me!!) and used me as a "finger rest" while she was talking to me and well after she was through checking me. oh and tried to force a tetnus shot on me..okay i'll stop now..whew..


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mmmummy*
dont even start with the woman gyn i saw about a cyst who 1) asked me if i was having sex and i said no said "i didnt think so" (thanks,i must look like a dog and no one would WANT to have sex with me!!) and used me as a "finger rest" while she was talking to me and well after she was through checking me. oh and tried to force a tetnus shot on me..okay i'll stop now..whew..

Eww on the finger rest. I was going to say I don't know how you get that she thought you were a dog and nobody would want to have sex with you by asking if you were having sex though. They ask everyone that question when you go in for an exam.......then I re-read it and saw that you meant *she sad "I didn't think so." I thought at first you had said that to her.







All I can say is wow, that was R U D E!! I'm sorry you've had so many bad experiences.







s


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

Hmmm... I have a couple of crazy quotes.

"If you have a homebirth *you will die* and the baby will die and *you will regret it for the rest of your life*!!!"







(from my MD FIL)

"Nursing will _ruin_ your breasts." (from my sister)

"Breastfeeding longer than three months?! Whoever heard of such a thing?!" (from MIL, who is a nurse!!!)

"I'm going to hire you a housekeeper to clean before your homebirth, to get your house as clean as the hospital so the baby doesn't get an infection." (my sister again)

:LOL :LOL :LOL


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
I was told by a group of Indian women at a cultural event that dh and I attended, "I think your baby must be a girl. Yes, a girl. Girls will steal a mother's beauty when she's carrying."

Um, thanks.







: I didn't think I was *that* ugly. :LOL

Second thing is that I was told by Dh's guru to avoid violent or shocking movies or music because then the baby would be out of control with emotions. I humored dh to the point where he covered my eyes if a bad commercial came on. Well . . I gave birth to a little firecracker of a child. With Nitara's pregnancy I watched whatever the heck I wanted since I was on bedrest. She turned out to be a very easy baby.


I got both of these! Although with the second, I give my mom some credit for being caring at least, she didn't want me to watch scary movies while I was pregnant (The Exorcist was rereleased while I was pregnant with dd) because the fear hormones would freak out the baby and it (she) wouldn't know why she was scared. _Kinda_ makes sense to me, but I don't know.


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dnr3301*
I got both of these! Although with the second, I give my mom some credit for being caring at least, she didn't want me to watch scary movies while I was pregnant (The Exorcist was rereleased while I was pregnant with dd) because the fear hormones would freak out the baby and it (she) wouldn't know why she was scared. _Kinda_ makes sense to me, but I don't know.

:LOL I always joke that we scared dd2 out of me - we went at watched the updated Texas Chain Saw Masacre and later that evening she was born.


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife*
a friend, who had just had a baby, told me when I was six months pregnant:

"Oh, LOVE the episiotomy! The episiotomy is YOUR FRIEND!!"

With "friends" like that, who needs enemies??









: No kidding!

Healing the episiotomy was the WORST part of giving birth. I'd have gone through the whole thing more than once if I could have avoided that stupid, idiotic, crazy, procedure.


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

I wonder if she meant Epidural??

It's so hard to imagine anyone being happy about getting cut open.
Maybe her provider convinced her she would have had to push for much longer otherwise? and she didn't have a good pushing experience?


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## Nora'sMama (Apr 8, 2005)

This isn't outrageous or horrible, it's actually kind of cute, but it was EMBARRASSING. My father is a minister. When I was about 3 months pg I told my parents they could finally start telling people. So my dad announced from the pulpit one Sunday (I was sitting in the pews) that I was "with child". WITH CHILD?? I just about passed out! :LOL

He sent me an e-mail the other day referring to "when Nora pops out". Eww...I don't want to think of a) Nora "popping out" - not how I envision her being born or b) my dad thinking of Nora "popping out"!!

He just can't get the terminology right, poor guy


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

A nurse in Labor and Delivery at a local hospital said I couldn't use rice packs with my client (ie hot sox) because applying heat during labor would rupture the uterus.

?!?!?!?!

The same nurse said women who did not have epidurals didn't bond with their children as well because they were angry with them for causing them pain.

Needless to say, this hospital's csection rate is rather high.


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## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

LizD said:


> The same nurse said women who did not have epidurals didn't bond with their children as well because they were angry with them for causing them pain.
> 
> 
> 
> > get her out of that place!


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## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizD*
The same nurse said women who did not have epidurals didn't bond with their children as well because they were angry with them for causing them pain.


















get her out of that place!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizD*
The same nurse said women who did not have epidurals didn't bond with their children as well because they were angry with them for causing them pain.

Needless to say, this hospital's csection rate is rather high.

Right...women can't bond with their children because of the "anger" with the child for causing them pain. But, they bond no problem while trying to b/f with a great gaping wound across their abdomen????

This woman should be living in a psych ward...not working on a maternity ward!


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## mom2savannah_grace (Jul 31, 2004)

I was GBS+ so had to have IV antibiotics at the hospital. I am extremely afraid of needles and I cried for 20 min when my midwife told me. Anyway, the nurse blew my vein and I told her that's it, no antibiotics for me. They would just have to monitor dd after the birth. So she had to get a form for me to sign saying I knew the risks of denying the antibiotics and afterwards told me how she knew babies born to GBS+ mothers that were fine at birth but died suddenly hours later. Nice thing to tell a laboring woman







: I wanted to smack her! Good thing her shift was over not too long after that and I had a wonderful L&D nurse that helped me with my NCB.

PS: dd was fine










Oh and of course there was my SIL who gave birth 4 mos before me and insisted that I would need an epidural, "you just wait and see". I loved being able to prove her wrong


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Great thread! I've been




























the whole time reading it!

Someone asked me who would do my episiotomy if I had a homebirth. Because that's the one medical intervention we can't do without, I guess.

One of the nurses in the hospital told me I had to put formula on my nipples to get my baby interested in them.

Can't think of any more right now.


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## KiwiZ (Apr 4, 2004)

Wow, we could fill a book with the shocking, outrageous,misinformed things people believe about pregnancy, labor and bfeeding!

I am pretty petite and had a friend tell me that all my babies would have to come out c-section, cuz I just didn't have "birthing hips". My hips spread beautifully while preggo and while dd#1 was indeed a c-sec (nothing to do with my hips :LOL thank you very much), dd#2 was a VBAC, no problems there!


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
Great thread! I've been




























the whole time reading it!

Someone asked me who would do my episiotomy if I had a homebirth. Because that's the one medical intervention we can't do without, I guess.

One of the nurses in the hospital told me I had to put formula on my nipples to get my baby interested in them.

Can't think of any more right now.









:

Unbelieveable!

Dr. Robert Mendelsohn, pediatrician to the founding mothers of LLLI and a medical advisor to LLLI, used to say that bottlefeeding was a dirty habit that should only be carried out in a bathroom.


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## indiana ima (May 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fiddledebi*
Someone was telling me that her daughter was having a planned c-section for her second child, "since she'd had to have a section for her first." I asked if there was some permanent damage from her first birth or something, and she said no, just that you always have to have c-sections once you've had a c-section: "Yes, it's just common medical knowledge. It's not good for the babies to have a natural birth if the first baby was born by c-section. All doctors know this." I said, "Wow, really? All doctors say that?" And she said, "Yes. It's a medical fact."

well, i think she got her reasoning wrong, but my understanding is that this used to be true. before they came up with the "bikini cut" and still sliced mamas open from navel to pubic fur, VBAC was out of the question because the risk of uterine rupture was too high. or maybe it was because sliced uterine muscles can't push effectively? i hope someone knows the real story here.


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paquerette*
One of the nurses in the hospital told me I had to put formula on my nipples to get my baby interested in them.

Wow. Just, Wow.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *indiana ima*
well, i think she got her reasoning wrong, but my understanding is that this used to be true. before they came up with the "bikini cut" and still sliced mamas open from navel to pubic fur, VBAC was out of the question because the risk of uterine rupture was too high. or maybe it was because sliced uterine muscles can't push effectively? i hope someone knows the real story here.









From the reading I've been doing, the rupture rate with a vertical cut is very high...can't recall the numbers I was seeing, but it was definitely scary. My mom had the vertical incision, and having seen the scar from that my whole life, I can honestly say that I wouldn't want to chance a VBAC with one...


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## indiana ima (May 6, 2004)

my mama has the vertical incision too. and yeah. yikes!


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## Braann (Feb 1, 2005)

:


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CarolynnMarilynn*
This one isn't about birth but...

when I was a midwifery student I had a client who exclusively breastfed a baby from 10 lbs to 14 pounds in about 5 weeks. She was told by her paed to stop exclusively breastfeeding because a baby that big needed more than just breastmilk.... uhhh, duuh, how do you think the baby FREAKIN' GREW THAT BIG??? On lovely breastmilk of course. The lack of logic astounds.

My cousin adopted a baby- ad it was formula fed- the ped suggested they put him on real food by like 3 months because he was such a big boy he must need more food.( makes no logic to me!)
Emilie


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

My dh asked how our house will be possibly clean enough to have a baby in?

We live in a OLD house-that is a tad dirty( like years of grease on the stove- etc)

I think- well if I was planning to have him behind the stove- then we would have a problem!

Emilie


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Emilie*
My cousin adopted a baby- ad it was formula fed- the ped suggested they put him on real food by like 3 months because he was such a big boy he must need more food.( makes no logic to me!)
Emilie


Ha! My dad keeps saying the same thing to me about my 2-month old!!! He keeps saying stuff like "that boy is so big! You're going to have to break the 4-6 month rule with him and feed him cereal earlier, or he'll be eating every 15 minutes!!!"

OK... that makes sense, dad...







umm, if he's so big, do ya really think he's not getting enough food, and also, uh, do I have anything MORE IMPORTANT to do right now than feed my baby??? So what if he wants to eat every 15 minutes? Isn't that what maternity leave is for??? :LOL

My dh and I laugh so much about this. Dh wonders why my dad is so insistent upon pointing out the alleged inadequacy of his daughter's boobs! :LOL

Sue


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

My 2nd dd was a huge baby. Very roly poly. Fil told me, "You need to put her on a diet." Oh yeah my 4 mos old ebf baby needs to be on a diet.









Michelle


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## Itlbokay (Dec 28, 2001)

"You need to drink milk to make milk"


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

"you have to give him formula the first few days until your milk comes in"

my friend who had her baby just a year ago told me the nurses at the largest hospital in Atlanta actually told her this!









no wonder so many moms around here "can't" breastfeed


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## colobus237 (Feb 2, 2004)

The checker at the grocery store asked me "When will you have to go on bedrest?"
As though it were a given that pregnant women all go on bedrest. I said "Um...hopefully never?"
I didn't know there were grown people so ignorant...


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## indiana ima (May 6, 2004)

wow Cassidy, that is really strange. i mean, did someone TELL that checker that all women go on bedrest, or has that checker only known pregnant women who have been told to go on bedrest? i mean, either way, that's really sad.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

I was asked by a friend "so when do you have to stop driving?" and "when do you have to stop having sex"?

umm..NEVER


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## kofduke (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoveChild421*
I was asked by a friend "so when do you have to stop driving?" and "when do you have to stop having sex"?

umm..NEVER

Perhaps during transition?


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

when i was discussing with my boss the range of time when i would have my homebirth baby, he asked me when i was going to schedule the homebirth, i said "huh", and he said "you can't have a baby without scheduling it". i burst out laughing and told him he sounded like an OB.

when i was due with my first and was planning a hospital birth unmedicated, the same guy said it was impossible to have a birth without an epidural. when i had my ds and without medication my boss actually had the nerve to tell me that i only did it without an epidural to prove him wrong. huh?

anyways, he is a nice guy overall and he really, really respects that i know what i'm doing when it comes to having a baby


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## Spark (Nov 21, 2001)

My DH and I went in to refinance our house before our first child was born. We're sitting in a tiny office with this guy who's handling our refinancing. He has two kids and we have none, so he's in the know and we're just dummies. He asks us at which of the hospitals in town will we'll be delivering. We tell him we're planning a homebirth. He nods and then launches into this bit of outrageous ick:
"Well, as soon as you get there, make sure you remember this one word... E-P-I-D-U-R-A-L. Just ask for one as soon as you get there. I mean, THE HUMAN BODY WAS NOT DESIGNED TO GIVE BIRTH."

Um... they don't have our mortgage anymore.

But, four years later, I'm actually friends with his boss' wife. And SHE has had 3 natural drug free births AND a homebirth. So...  THERE Michael Croon of Pioneer Mortgage!


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Spark*
THE HUMAN BODY WAS NOT DESIGNED TO GIVE BIRTH.


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

Oh, my. I don't know whether to :LOL or









From an online conversation recently, and I paraphrase: OBs are doctors with special training. CNMs are nurses with special training. So who would want a nurse when they could have a doctor? No one goes in, even with a cold, and says, "Eh, no, I don't need a doctor, just let me see the nurse."









.
.
.
.
.
.
But, and I am amazed I haven't seen this one here (but not too amazed because it really is bizarre), the number one outrageous thing anyone has ever said to me about childbirth was:
*
"Giving birth is just like passing a kidney stone only worse."*

This from my FIL. Obviously a _real_ expert on the subject matter


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## mama_nomad (Apr 11, 2005)

a pregnant friend of mine's baby ended up having some organs-outside-of-his-body issues and our local sOB chief of staff told her that they would have to c-sec b/c (his words)

"your vagina is _dirty_"

they ended up going to the major children's hospital three hours away where they repeated what the doc had told them, but the cool staff there said, "of course you can have him vaginally" YAY!

my second baby was in the NICU after a premature birth (i was planning a homebirth







) and while i was signing in to visit my sweetie, i overheard the L and D nurses talking at the nurses station about a couplethey knew that were planning an UC. one of the nurses said in the most bitchy, matter-of-fact way "oh, i guarantee you they will end up here."
what a thing to want to happen...let the have their baby, FFS, and wish them well!!


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

From MIL: "If you're going to breastfeed, you'll have to start rubbing sandpaper over your nipples. Otherwise they'll just bleed because they won't be toughened up enough to handle a baby."







Right . . . the SANDPAPER won't make them hurt, but my baby's velvety mouth will. Okay!

From an friend upon learning that my seven-month-old dd was exclusively breastfed: "Wow--can you really make enough milk to feed her?"







Um, duh . . . doesn't she look fed to you? And I always wonder if these people think that our ancestors had rice cereal and Gerber baby food on hand.


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## LittleBrownDog (Jan 3, 2005)

LOL! I got the nipple toughening thing, too! My mom told me to rub dry washcloths on my nipples three times a day to "toughen them up."

She also told me she was glad that I had BF troubles so I wouldn't be so hard on her for not BFing me- and (I had never said a negative word to her about it- just asked why she didn't! She had mastitis and the doctor told her she had to stop BFing, as that was the only way to cure the mastitis









But, in mom's defense, after saying that she did pay for my LC visits and my pump rental









At a recent family gathering my aunt STARED at my chest openly for a LONG time, to the point where my sis and SIL came up to me to check if I was leaking or something because they noticed her staring. My aunt saw them come over to me and yelled across the room "_Are you leaking?_" Ummm.... no, but thanks for making everyone in the room stare at my boobs.


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## cheekymamaof2 (Mar 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *girlndocs*
Oh, my. I don't know whether to :LOL or









From an online conversation recently, and I paraphrase: OBs are doctors with special training. CNMs are nurses with special training. So who would want a nurse when they could have a doctor? No one goes in, even with a cold, and says, "Eh, no, I don't need a doctor, just let me see the nurse."










I love this conversation. It gives you the chance to respond with..."Actually, OB's are surgeons, first and foremost. Its what they specialize in. You wouldn't go to an orthodontic surgeon to get your teeth cleaned would you?" *snicker*


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## andreac (Jul 13, 2003)

Another one:

I wouldn't get a cavity filled w/out novacaine..so why would I go through childbirth w/out pain relief?!?

That one is so stupid I can't even begin to get into all the things wrong with it...ARRRGHHHHHH!


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *girlndocs*
Oh, my. I don't know whether to :LOL or









From an online conversation recently, and I paraphrase: OBs are doctors with special training. CNMs are nurses with special training. So who would want a nurse when they could have a doctor? No one goes in, even with a cold, and says, "Eh, no, I don't need a doctor, just let me see the nurse."










They would probably think I am really odd then. When I go to my family doc I do ask to be seen by the nurse or np. I usually know whats wrong anyhow. The dr is super busy and I don't want to wait 2 hours to see him. And who goes to the dr for a cold? No wonder Americans are so overmedicated!


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

Quote:

when i was due with my first and was planning a hospital birth unmedicated, the same guy said it was impossible to have a birth without an epidural.
I wonder what humans did before the epidural was invented? :LOL


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

One thing I saw on tv that was totally outrageous.
A High risk OB was talking about 3D U/Ss. He said "The first thing we look at is the face. The expression will show how they're doing. If the face is unhappy then we are sure to get them out of there fast because they're not thriving and would do better on the outside"


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *andreac*
Another one:

I wouldn't get a cavity filled w/out novacaine..so why would I go through childbirth w/out pain relief?!?

That one is so stupid I can't even begin to get into all the things wrong with it...ARRRGHHHHHH!

hmm....I haven't had novacaine for a filling since I was 12. I find the pain _far_ more bearable than the effects of the "freezing".


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Childbirth is a natural event, filling teeth is not.

Unbelieveable


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## Keeper (Sep 5, 2004)

_From an online conversation recently, and I paraphrase: OBs are doctors with special training. CNMs are nurses with special training. So who would want a nurse when they could have a doctor? No one goes in, even with a cold, and says, "Eh, no, I don't need a doctor, just let me see the nurse."_

Uh, yeah...and who is with a woman through the MAJORITY of her l&d experience? Nurses. And who diagnoses and treats over the PHONE, then whisks in at the last moment and takes all the credit? A doctor. Sure..give me a doctor any day...right.

Sarah


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

ITA Keeper.

Many EMTs are faster on the draw with setting up and stopping bleeding and diagnosing and handling an emergency than many doctors are even though EMTs need an OK for many of the things they do from a doctor, but they also have to justify what they want to do with the doctor. Being out in the field helps build the 'street smarts' that you need to get the job done.


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_nomad*
a pregnant friend of mine's baby ended up having some organs-outside-of-his-body issues and our local sOB chief of staff told her that they would have to c-sec b/c (his words)

"your vagina is _dirty_"

Yes, the neonatologist head of the 'special care nursery' where I used to work was fond of saying that the reason that babies got septic and infected was b/c '*that* is not a clean area of the body they are coming out of you know'.







:


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## amyjeans (Jul 27, 2004)

My SOB said at my last and final appointment with her,
"You need to come to every prenatal visit, because its important for us to monitor you. You never know, one day the baby might not be there." Where was she going to go I wonder?
Perhaps the baby was going to be born without them in attendance....
:LOL
(see Sydney's birth)

My dumb... sister said "You don't get a trophy for doing it naturally."

um...yes I do- see it on the mantle? My dh awarded me this just the other day! Isn't it lovely?


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

Oh I LOVE that one. "You don't get a trophy."

Listen, chucklehead, just because you can't _see_ my trophy doesn't mean it isn't _there_. It's inside me and I'll have it for the rest of my life.


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

Hey, amyjeans, if one day you went in to your prenatal appointment and the baby "wasn't there" (I'm assuming she meant _dead_), wouldn't it have been just a touch late for her to be monitoring you?


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## amyjeans (Jul 27, 2004)

he he he...true true


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## valeria_vi (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
One thing I saw on tv that was totally outrageous.
A High risk OB was talking about 3D U/Ss. He said "The first thing we look at is the face. The expression will show how they're doing. If the face is unhappy then we are sure to get them out of there fast because they're not thriving and would do better on the outside"


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain optimism*
My mom asked me whether I should be wading in the ocean up to my knees in the second trimester. What if some bacteria, uh, crawled up my leg to my womb? she wondered.

H***, I was swimming in the ocean at 39 weeks. Never did me or DD any harm; I'd been on bedrest for 7 weeks and it was fabulous to get out.

Anyway, there's nothing like swimming when you're pregnant-- takes some of the weight off your back. I had nasty round ligament pain, and swimming was the only thing that helped!


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

Wow, I think I must know a rare circle of people, because I've never heard anything near as outrageous as some of these! I had an OB, and she was fond of reminding me constantly and incessantly how important breastfeeding was for at least the first year, and before I left the hospital advised me not to offer the baby a bottle, saying "my first had trouble nursing because I gave her a bottle too soon. Don't listen to anyone who tells you your milk isn't enough." That's my kind of OB, I think.

But I have heard a few:

My MIL says that she only nursed DH for two days, because every time she was ready to breastfeed in the hospital, the nurses made her disinfect her entire chest and abdomen with rubbing alcohol, and put a paper sheet between DH and her, with a cutout for her breasts. After two days of that, she gave in and let them give him bottles. Ouch. And my mother was told, after I was born, that she couldn't nurse after a c-section, that she wouldn't make milk, and anyway, "your breasts are too small to nurse."

Mine are even smaller, and I had no shortage!!!!

But the real winner was from my cousin, who has had two elective c-sections: "You want to have a section, because then the baby's head won't look so squashed in the hospital photos. C-section babies are prettier."


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## swebster (Dec 7, 2004)

I'm planning a homebirth in July, but am doing concurrent care with a CNM (who is marvelous and very supportive of my plans) through my insurance as a 'back up'. I'm constantly amazed at the attitude difference between my homebirth midwife and the nurses and other midwives at the medical center. One nurse in particular is an absolute nazi about dates. I was prepared to take my gluclose test at my last appointment, but the nurse looked at my chart and said, 'oh you're not 28 weeks yet, not till monday, we do gluclose screening at 28 weeks. Why don't you reschedule for Monday). I pointed out that I was 27 and 5/7ths weeks pregnant and that monday was a holiday (patriots day in Mass), the whole time sort of laughing, because it seemed so absolutely rediculous that she was so serious about it.

I had been on the fence about the whole gluclose thing and that little bit pushed me right over the edge. I relented, scheduled the appt for Monday and then 'canceled' later that day. I'm sort of glad at her rigidness, it gave me a few more days to read all the posts about the test and talk to my HB midwife and realize that I didn't want it at all.


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## Kajabada (Feb 26, 2005)

During one of my non-stress tests with dd#2 (for going postdates), the nurse asked if I was going to use pain meds during the birth, and I told her no, because I liked all the benefits of using upright positions during labor and birth. She proceeded to explain to me how lying on your back was the best position for 2nd stage because that way, you weren't pushing the baby out against the force of gravity!!

?!?!?!?


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llyra*
Anyway, there's nothing like swimming when you're pregnant-- takes some of the weight off your back. I had nasty round ligament pain, and swimming was the only thing that helped!

Me too!

My piriformas pulled on the psoas in my left rotator causing me huge pain...I rode a ten speed and it kept the weight off of it...


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## Mama2ABCD (Jun 14, 2003)

Quote:

because I liked all the benefits of using upright positions during labor and birth. She proceeded to explain to me how lying on your back was the best position for 2nd stage because that way, you weren't pushing the baby out against the force of gravity!!
Did she think upright is standing on your head?


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## SaraC (Jan 11, 2002)

With DD #1 I had a non-emergent homebirth transport for a malpresentation and long(10 hours) pushing stage. When we got there the doc checked me and determined I could have a vaginal birth but I would probably need to use the vaccum. She then informs me that I would need an epsiotomy since my DD was very malpresented and I was ok with that too. I ask her to please numb me before she cuts me since I knew she was going to cut me more than once(3 times). She looks me right in the eye and says, "Well, there goes your natural birth!"

Like lidocane is in any way a labor pain reducing drug. I mean I get more for my teeth when they are drilled. I was pretty offended since I had just been through 30 hours of labor at home including 10 hours of pushing.


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *girlndocs*
But, and I am amazed I haven't seen this one here (but not too amazed because it really is bizarre), the number one outrageous thing anyone has ever said to me about childbirth was:
*
"Giving birth is just like passing a kidney stone only worse."*

This from my FIL. Obviously a _real_ expert on the subject matter










I haven't finished readingall the posts, but I have to say, at least for me, passing kidney stones was much worse than giving birth naturally! I pased out 3 times and needed 4 shots of Nubain to pass my kidney stones. No passing out, no drugs to have Maia.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

OMG, this thread is sooo funny. And so far I'm only on page 2, but I'll add mine now. When I was pregnant, a well meaning friend told me about 4 or 5 time through out my pregnancy to make sure that I shaved my legs before going to the hospital in labor. "Because if you don't shave your legs the nurses will make fun of you." She was dead serious, and she knew I planned an unmedicated labor, she wanted to keep warning me because she didn't want me to have some obnoxious nurse derailing me by making fun of me.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgoddess*
OMG, this thread is sooo funny. And so far I'm only on page 2, but I'll add mine now. When I was pregnant, a well meaning friend told me about 4 or 5 time through out my pregnancy to make sure that I shaved my legs before going to the hospital in labor. "Because if you don't shave your legs the nurses will make fun of you." She was dead serious, and she knew I planned an unmedicated labor, she wanted to keep warning me because she didn't want me to have some obnoxious nurse derailing me by making fun of me.

Yeah, I'm sure they're looking at your hairy legs while they clean the poop off the bed. Some people are nuts.


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *llyra*
My MIL says that she only nursed DH for two days, because every time she was ready to breastfeed in the hospital, the nurses made her disinfect her entire chest and abdomen with rubbing alcohol, and put a paper sheet between DH and her, with a cutout for her breasts. After two days of that, she gave in and let them give him bottles. Ouch.


Wow, mil told me the something similar, she had to put rubbing alcohol on her nipples each time she nursed dh. Can you imagine? Rubbing alcohol on your nipples?! I told dh I think thats why his taste buds are so screwed up. Hes already swallowed his food before he tastes it.

Michelle


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom2six*
That is so strange. I got a call from a woman a few weeks ago - she had had 5 normal pregnancies and then a stillbirth at 35 weeks for no apparent reason. Her OB was anxious to induce her at 38 weeks b/c of the prior stillbirth. She refused. So at 40 weeks they do a BPP and tell her that she MUST be induced (but not for 2 days when they can get her on the schedule) b/c on u/s they can see 'there is meconium in the fluid'. I said I had never, EVER heard of such a thing while working almost 5 years in L&D. I really thought it sounded bogus. Anyway, she went in for induction - which they began by rupturing her membranes and releasing totally CLEAR fluid. Is this some new idiot trend? "we can see mec on u/s"?

Many of you are well trained and know much more about this than I would. But sounds crazy to me. Incidentally, I went in for a NST & U/S when I was 41.5 weeks along. My OB thought that my fluid was a little low, but average for being "past due date". He would have liked to induce me that afternoon, but he respected my wishes for an unmedicated birth, we compromised, and I agreed to consider induction in 3 more days if things didn't get going naturally.

That was a Monday, Tuesday morning I woke up with contractions, Wednesday afternoon, still in labor, I let the OB break my water and there _was_ meconium. I really loved my OB, and felt he was on top of things. I believe that if there really was any way for an U/S to tell anything about meconium staining he would have known.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Oh yeah, the meconium thing reminded me. When the OB broke my bag of waters he, lt out a little "bah" sounds (kind of like 'oh shucks') and the nurse said "Well weren't not surprised right?". My OB sort of cocked his head and said, "Well I guess not." I think he was just really sad to see the meconium, and was hoping not to, well of course he was.

So I ask the nurse, what she means by not being surprised and she said to me , "Well it's and old baby." I said to her, "My baby is not old, how can my baby be old, my baby hasn't even been born yet?"


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## allmaydays (Feb 13, 2002)

one of my friends was talking about how her labor was so fast they had to put her epidural in between pushes; and then the ob wasnt there when the baby was born, so THANK GOD the ANASTHESIOLGIST was there to CUT THE CORD (b/c everyone knows if you don't do that immediately the baby gets pulled right back in!)

and after I'd been pushing w/ ds#1 for less than 10 minutes (after laboring 2), the ob on rotation (whom i'd never met or heard of) introduces himself, picks up the scissors and says "let me help you out here" and gives me the unkind cut. and then after yanking my placenta out by the cord, starts stitching me up and is yelling at me for jumping in pain (he probably never stitched someone who didnt have an epidural.) at my 6wk pp checkup one of the nurses told me how upset he had been that i wasnt in false labor as he had assumed and he had to leave his son's soccer game to deliver the baby. sorry, but he wasn't even with me for an hour; how much easier could his job have been! (I'll tell you, if he hadn't cut me in the first place he might not have had to do the repair and if he hadnt forcibly pulled out my placenta my bleeding might have subsided quicker. i wish i had pushed before he showed up, as the nurses will telling me _not_ to push, that i had to wait for him!)


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allmaydays*
one of my friends was talking about how her labor was so fast they had to put her epidural in between pushes; and then the ob wasnt there when the baby was born, so THANK GOD the ANASTHESIOLGIST was there to CUT THE CORD (b/c everyone knows if you don't do that immediately the baby gets pulled right back in!)


And I've never understood this anyway. Why even have the epidural if you are already pushing? What's the point?


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

Oh, _everybody_ knows that pushing the baby out is the _very most agonizing part_


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyto3girls*
And I've never understood this anyway. Why even have the epidural if you are already pushing? What's the point?

I've never gotten that one either.

Can I tell a story? One of the most PSYCHO moms I have ever cared for in labor was a woman who had planned an elective induction so she could get an epidural when they gave the pitocin (as she had done with her first child) and never feel a thing. Well darn it all, her water broke before the scheduled day and she was moving through active labor like a ball o' fire. She was having a coniption (sp?) b/c things were NOT going according to her plan. I mean, it was like Zsa Zsa Gabor in labor. She was cursing, hitting, kicking - not b/c of the pain (well, maybe some of that too) - but BECAUSE WE WEREN"T GETTING HER AN EPIDURAL FAST ENOUGH, DAMN IT!!!!! I have never been hit by a pt. before or since. This woman kept screaming at us about all the people in the hospital (doctors' wives, administrators, etc) that she knew and she didn't want a @(#$*&)@(#*$& IV before we called the anesthesiologist, we had better get the @#($*#@()*$& anesthesiologist in there that minute or heads were going to ROLL. So here is the funniest part. The baby is visible, not quite crowning and she is HOLDING THE BABY IN with her hand b/c SHE IS NOT HAVING THIS BABY WITHOUT AN EPIDURAL!!!!!!!! At one point she actually said 'I can't take my hand off my vagina until someone gets me an epidural'. In the end, they wound up giving her a spinal so that she would take her hand away and give half a push to have a baby. BUT NO! She gets her spinal which takes almost immediate effect, announces 'I'm done' and lies back with the baby crowning and WILL NOT PUSH. Heart tones take a dive to the 50's (probably from the fact that she didn't have enough IV fluids yet to counter that ol' lowering of BP) and she will *not* push. Her OB was very stern with her and told her she needed to work with us and she could be 'done' in a minute. She gave 1/2 a grunt with the next ctx. and the kid flew out. But what a scene. And for what? I can't imagine holding that kid in and resisting the urge to push felt too good either. She kept saying afterwards about how she just couldn't imagine going through that pain without an epidural :LOL .


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## girlndocs (Mar 12, 2004)

:







:







:































:







:







:


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

Wow!


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## NoraB (Dec 10, 2002)

Oh my.


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

:LOL


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## mamatojade (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mom2six*
That is so strange. I got a call from a woman a few weeks ago - she had had 5 normal pregnancies and then a stillbirth at 35 weeks for no apparent reason. Her OB was anxious to induce her at 38 weeks b/c of the prior stillbirth. She refused. So at 40 weeks they do a BPP and tell her that she MUST be induced (but not for 2 days when they can get her on the schedule) b/c on u/s they can see 'there is meconium in the fluid'. I said I had never, EVER heard of such a thing while working almost 5 years in L&D. I really thought it sounded bogus. Anyway, she went in for induction - which they began by rupturing her membranes and releasing totally CLEAR fluid. Is this some new idiot trend? "we can see mec on u/s"?

That is such BS - I went 12 days over with DD and my Dr was totally fine with it...she did ask for me to go for an u/s to make sure that the placenta was fine, but otherwise, no concerns.

I had the US and all was OK and I went into labour that night.....

When my water broken I literally looked as though I had pooped BF-baby poo all over the table. They figured that the meconium had been in there for a week. Jade suffered from severe MAS and had to be airlifted to Children's for heart/lung bypass surgery...anyway the point of the story I was told that there is that there is no way to tell density or colour of amniotic fluid from an u/s. ( but read doctorjen's post saying that you could tell)


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## mamatojade (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doctorjen*
After the meconium scare for myself, I talked with a couple different experienced ultrasonographers about this. Apparently, particulate meconium can make the fluid appear more, well, particulate, on ultrasound - but so can vernix, and vernix is far more likely. The head of MFM where I trained said he would never make such a diagnosis or suggest such a thing. Regardless, meconium is sort of a non-issue unless something else is going on.

What does "particulate meconium" mean?


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatojade*
What does "particulate meconium" mean?

Basically, pieces of mec. floating around.

BTW- meconium aspiration is blessedly very rare and while going post-dates statistically increases the chance of having meconium in the fluid, it does not increase the rate of MAS (meconium aspiration syndrome).


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## Diane~Alena (Aug 23, 2004)

I delivered my daughter at 24 wks 6 days after having had her water break two days before. My cervix was stiff and unmoving from being stitched and the contractions were brutal as I waited for it to dialate. Most everyone around me tells me "You are so lucky you didn't have to push out a big baby you never felt any pain at all!" WTF







: anyone who knows what risks my daughter faced would know my fears for her life gave me the greatest pain along with a very yucky labour. I did it drug free to give her the best chance and to enable me to see her right away and not be stuck with umoving legs but no one seems to think of that since I have a pain free labour









Oh and my dr told me when my daughter Emma(one of the twins) stuck a bead up her nose at age 28 months that small children have no sinus cavity for it to be lost in. The bead went to her stomache and came out "in the wash" I don't know if what he said was acurate but I just had to share.


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

Geez, there are a lot I can think of.

My favorite from prenatal care with my first daughter "How did you get pregnant?" Umm, you're a doctor, surely somewhere they explained conception to you...

"But you _need_ an episiotomy! You don't want to tear, do you?" Stupid resident during labor with Bobbie. (I scared him by arguing, and he ran.)

"A circumcised penis is so much easier to keep clean." Yeah, an open wound is definitely simpler than untouched skin.









I had an argument with an sOB over the need for STD testing. When I told her it was silly to think I had an STD because I wasn't screwing anyone other than my husband, her response was "But who else is he having sex with?" like it was a given that he was screwing around. (What pissed me off even more was that no one thought I should be upset that she insulted a man she'd never met.)

All-time favorite baby-wearing question: "Is that a baby in there?" No, it's a wombat. Wanna see?

ETA: The absolute *worst* was something I overheard a nurse say to my roommate when returning the lady's baby after his circ: "If you don't like the way it looks, you can just bring him back in a couple of weeks and we'll redo it."


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Quote:

ETA: The absolute worst was something I overheard a nurse say to my roommate when returning the lady's baby after his circ: "If you don't like the way it looks, you can just bring him back in a couple of weeks and we'll redo it."


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl*
All-time favorite baby-wearing question: "Is that a baby in there?" No, it's a wombat. Wanna see?









:

Oh Lord, I get this ALL THE TIME!!! Thanks for knowing I'm not the only smart-*ss here!


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Yeah, the only thing is that a number of celebrities (and their emulators) have taken to carrying their DOGS in slings and other baby carriers. Not such a crazy question when you think about it.


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## Barefoot Farmer (Feb 13, 2004)

This one from my MIL -- we're talking about birth, natural births, and c-sections -- she says to me, "Really, what's the difference?"







Hmm, let me see.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle*
One thing I saw on tv that was totally outrageous.
A High risk OB was talking about 3D U/Ss. He said "The first thing we look at is the face. The expression will show how they're doing. If the face is unhappy then we are sure to get them out of there fast because they're not thriving and would do better on the outside"

That logic of there's doesn't even work!

Because as soon as baby is born, "oh no, that's not a smile, it's their reaction to gas. smiles have to be learned, don't you know that you silly little new mother?"

So grimaces or "bad" faces in utero, those truly do mean that something is bothering them, but as soon as they are out, they "smile" in reaction to a bad feeling?

Makes no sense!


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## JSerene (Nov 4, 2004)

At my baby shower - "I know you're using cloth diapers, but I got you disposables anyway."

(they went back to the store)


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## HeartsOpenWide (Mar 1, 2005)

apon telling a friend I was planning a HB
"A home birth? Your nuts. I am having a planned c-section. C-section babies are much better looking. Vanginal babys are all ugly and squshed looking"


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Quote:

"A home birth? Your nuts. I am having a planned c-section. C-section babies are much better looking. Vanginal babys are all ugly and squshed looking"








: Hmpf.

Both my vaginally born babies were beautiful. Not only that, my #2 son was born with a perfectly round head and not squashed at all! So there. :LOL

I love this thread. It makes me laugh.


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## catnip (Mar 25, 2002)

Yeah, had a coworker who was concurrently pregnant and being seen by the same OB group as me say that she didn't want this one Dr. because he didn't do episiotomy. ???

With regard to the earlier comment about episiotomies being a laboring woman's best friend, I will bet that it was a misstaken term and the word they were looking for was epidural. I've seen that mistake made many times over on that *other* parenting forum.


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## heathenmom (Mar 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoveChild421*
"you have to give him formula the first few days until your milk comes in"

my friend who had her baby just a year ago told me the nurses at the largest hospital in Atlanta actually told her this!









no wonder so many moms around here "can't" breastfeed

I gave birth to dd in that hospital and was told the same thing. They told me that because she was SO BIG ("I've never seen a baby that big born vaginally" -- said by one of the L&D nurses) I'd never be able to produce enough milk to feed her. How big was this circus-freak of a baby, you ask? 10 lbs. 9 oz.







:


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## babycarrier (Apr 2, 2004)

After delivering in a hospital, the nurses were giving me info on breastfeeding. "Honey, 10 minutes on each breast is plenty. Longer than that will just hurt you and baby will be full."









Someone asked me yesterday if I was having " a natural childbirth" or would I be scheduling a c-section.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JSerene*
At my baby shower - "I know you're using cloth diapers, but I got you disposables anyway."

(they went back to the store)

WTF?


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## kofduke (Dec 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *farmlife3*

Someone asked me yesterday if I was having " a natural childbirth" or would I be scheduling a c-section.
















Yes, people seem to be terrified of the word "vaginal." "Natural" has become some kind of euphamism...even though it means something different.


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kofduke*
Yes, people seem to be terrified of the word "vaginal." "Natural" has become some kind of euphamism...even though it means something different.

Yeah, after I had my 2nd, we were at a party for the chem dept grad students (my dh is a grad student). He was a few weeks old and someone asked how big he'd been when born cuz he was "so tiny." (LOL!) Dh said 9lbs 4oz and about 4 of the girls' eyes got as round as saucers and one asked "Did you have a natural birth?" Dh stuttered a little (I think he was shocked someone would ask something like that) and said, well, she ended up needing an epidural (cuz we had planned natural. Ds1 was natural.) and she said, no I meant did she have a c-sec. I didn't know women could deliver babies that big w/out c-secs.







About 3 other girls there said the same thing at the same party later in the evening at different times!







Now I realize most of them are about 6 years younger than me and not even close to having their own kids, but where the heck do these girls get that information? 9lbs isn't even all that big, IMO. I made sure to set them straight and say I only pushed twice and he popped right out and I was completely fine afterwards, which is the absolute truth. I think I could easily deliver a much larger baby.


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## NightOwl (Sep 12, 2004)

The other day DH comes home from work and tells me about one of his coworkers who is due around the same time I am. (33 weeks along right now) So, the woman asks DH if I am "going to go all the way." DH gives her a confused look. So, she tells him that she's sceduling an induction and how that's very common now. So common that the hospital she wanted to deliver at is booked up for inductions, so she's not sure what do to. And she tells DH that I must be very brave to "go all the way." He tells her that I'm planning a completely natural, as unassited as possible birth in a stand alone birth center. Then she really thought that I must be very brave. She said that she screams when she gets a paper cut so she would not be able to have a natural birth.

I'm just shocked by things like that. I mean, it just reminds me of how different I am than most people. I guess I tend to forget that. It's just so sad. I mean, the woman is so scared of feeling pain or going into labor that she's planning a completely medicalized birth. By what she said she obviously doesn't feel that she's capable of giving birth normally and that women who do are like super heros or something. It's so sad that she doesn't have any faith in her body's ability to give birth to her baby!







:









Last night I listened to a string of dumb things from my step-mother. She first explained the intricate details of how to tell what sex the baby will be based on how the mama is carrying. She said that only boys poke their mamas in the ribs. When I told her that my mom said I constantly did that to her she changed the subject quickly. :LOL Then she tells me that most babies are born on their due date now because they've apparently perfected that science.







And she told me a secret too..."giving birth hurts like hell."







She said that like I'd never heard that before.

Recently I was in the waiting room at my birth center and a young lady around my age (early 20s) comes in for her first appt. She had her mother with her. So, the mother is reading the booklet they give at the first appt about how they do things. (no episiotomy, no pain medication, etc) And the mother starts _freaking_ out because they don't do episiotomy. She is seriously panicking and telling her daughter that she can't have the baby there because her sister "ripped all up inside, halfway up her body" even though she had an episiotomy and imagine how much worse it would have been if she hadn't had one. The mother was trying to get her daughter to leave and the daughter looked so embarrassed. I hope she didn't let her mom discourage her.


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *love_homebirthing*
My dd's - especially the first - look just like dh. After my first, my inlaws said several times in front of me to friends of theirs (and these are normally very cool people), "Well, there's no question who the father is!" Was there any question about it before????








:


I would respond, "Now, if only we knew who the mother was...."


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kofduke*
Yes, people seem to be terrified of the word "vaginal." "Natural" has become some kind of euphamism...even though it means something different.

yeah,, I hear that all the time. Even with women who have had babies. You would think _they_ wouldn't be afraid of the word vaginal. I find it insulting when a woman who says she had a natural childbirth really means vaginal delivery accompanied by pitocin, epidural, episiotomy etc... It feels dismissive to the women who birth naturally.


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## hypatia (Apr 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kofduke*
"When do you have to stop having sex?" Perhaps during transition?

Definitely stop sex before crowning.


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## shireen (Oct 30, 2014)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *girlndocs*
*
"Giving birth is just like passing a kidney stone only worse."*

This from my FIL. Obviously a _real_ expert on the subject matter









That's hilarious! I've done both (gave birth w/o meds 4 times, and passed a kidney stone) and I'll say that passing the kidney stone is way worse! I say that because even though labor is really painful, at least you get a baby, not a piece of crystalized calcium. :LOL


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *my4girls*
That's hilarious! I've done both (gave birth w/o meds 4 times, and passed a kidney stone) and I'll say that passing the kidney stone is way worse! I say that because even though labor is really painful, at least you get a baby, not a piece of crystalized calcium. :LOL

Yeah, and isn't the pain steady w/ a stone? At least w/ labor, you get a little break in between the pains!


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## shireen (Oct 30, 2014)

Now my input...

1. I was told by a friend that I was way too skinny and didn't have "child-bearing" hips; I'd need c-sections...whatever. She also said that my children would "have to be tiny" to get out.







I wish I could find her now and tell her that all four of my DDs were born with less than 2 hours of labor, one "push", and they were all normal size!

2. I had a nurse tell me that it was impossible to be fully dilated and ready to push after only 1 hour of contractions with a prima-gravida (first- timer)...my cervix was closed the day before at the Dr. visit, so how could things have happened so fast???







: I didn't even get my street clothes off... :LOL
I told the nurse I'm going to push; she refused to believe I was ready, so I just lifted my own legs and what did she see??? I crowning head full of black hair that would be DD #1!! She was born 30 seconds later! The rest of my labors were very similar. The nurses never doubted me again!! :LOL

3. My good-hearted MIL told me that DD #1 was crying because she was allergic to my breastmilk and needed formula...FYI, my children didn't even take my BM in a bottle, let alone anything else! They were EXCLUSIVELY breastfed for longer than anyone in my family wants to admit...oh well.

4. With all four the nurses asked me to "hold off pushing" so they could get me the epidural; there's "NO WAY" you will make it without the epidural...HUH??? Who are they kidding? My DDs were CROWNING for God's sake! DH literally laughed and said "try and stop her". Needless to say, DDs slid out quickly; no problem for this little "skinny" mama!

If I think of more funnies, I'll add them...with four DDs in 5.5 years, I have a lot of fuel to add to the fire!! Until then I'll just







:


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## shireen (Oct 30, 2014)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wendy1221*
Yeah, and isn't the pain steady w/ a stone? At least w/ labor, you get a little break in between the pains!

Oh yeah, it's steady and relentless! I had a horrible experience at the ER; I went because I had NO idea what was going on. I was still nursing DD #4 and hadn't gotten a period yet, so I thought maybe I was miscarrying (thankfully, I've never miscarried) so I ha no idea how that felt. Since I had no bleeding, I had to check it out. The stupid ER doc told me I was "fine" and to calm down. Keep in mind that even without pain meds, I was quiet during my labors...that's how I deal with pain. However, while passing this horrible stone, I was moaning and crying a LOT. It took me longer to pass that stupid stone than to deliver all four DDs combined!!









I passed the frickin stone in the ER bathroom by myself in the d*mn urine sample they FINALLY took from me; my urine was full of blood and crystals. The ER doctor told my personal doctor that she thought I started my period when she saw the blood in my urine...DUH! I just told her I didn't have my period yet! I think after four children I know which exit your period comes from, idiot! That moron has yet to explain the crystals and black "stone" also found in my urine!!







Sorry to rant; it's just another example of some doctors who still think women are "hysterical and just need to calm down."


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## Messac888 (Jan 24, 2005)

I almost died the day an old friend of mine asked if I'd had a natural childbirth, in regards to my homeborn dd. I said, "Yeah, how about you?" She said, "Yeah, I had a natural childbirth too, but needed the epidural."







:

WIC told me to wean my dd (now 4 1/2 months) to maintain my new pregnancy (yay, we're due Januray 24th of 2006). Dumb wic people.

I was walking up the street, wearing dd in the sling and holding ds's hand, we were on the way to a park. I ran into my friend's cousin (an acquaintence of mine) and she asked me where my diaper bag was. I said, "Home, why?" She replied, "Well, where do you keep your daughter's bottles?" I said, "In my shirt!" :LOL


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

I don't say "natural" birth any more because now it seems that any baby that comes out a vagina is a "natural" birth. You can have induction, augmentation, monitors, pethidine, epidural, episiotomy and forceps and it's still a natural birth. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

I call it a normal physiological birth now


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## crazy_eights (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *my4girls*
4. With all four the nurses asked me to "hold off pushing" so they could get me the epidural; there's "NO WAY" you will make it without the epidural...HUH??? Who are they kidding? My DDs were CROWNING for God's sake! DH literally laughed and said "try and stop her". :

Sounds to me like they were hoping for an epidural so that they could 'shut you down' until your caregiver arrived!


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## luckymama (Oct 3, 2004)

re: pregnancy - my 80 y.o. MIL advised me that i should not gain more than 20 lbs and i should not sleep any more during pregnancy than i normally would - or i would end up with a "lazy baby."

i'm sure i can think of more of them - i'll get back to you!


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *my4girls*
I told the nurse I'm going to push; she refused to believe I was ready, so I just lifted my own legs and what did she see??? I crowning head full of black hair that would be DD #1!! She was born 30 seconds later! The rest of my labors were very similar. The nurses never doubted me again!! :LOL

4. With all four the nurses asked me to "hold off pushing" so they could get me the epidural; there's "NO WAY" you will make it without the epidural...HUH??? Who are they kidding? My DDs were CROWNING for God's sake! DH literally laughed and said "try and stop her". Needless to say, DDs slid out quickly; no problem for this little "skinny" mama!

You are lucky your children were not born in the 1930s, 1940s, or 1950s, as it was customary for nurses to hold the mother's legs shut until the doctor arrived.

This resulted in, surprise!, many babies being born with some degree of oxygen depravation and, therefore, brain damage.

A baby is born when he/she is ready.


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JanetF*
I don't say "natural" birth any more because now it seems that any baby that comes out a vagina is a "natural" birth. You can have induction, augmentation, monitors, pethidine, epidural, episiotomy and forceps and it's still a natural birth. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

I call it a normal physiological birth now









yeah I say unmedicated, or intervention free.


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## Kateana (Feb 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *applejuice*
You are lucky your children were not born in the 1930s, 1940s, or 1950s, as it was customary for nurses to hold the mother's legs shut until the doctor arrived.

This resulted in, surprise!, many babies being born with some degree of oxygen depravation and, therefore, brain damage.

A baby is born when he/she is ready.

...or in the 90's: The lady I nannied (nanny-ed?) for had this happen to her. Long story short: she was pushing her baby out, nurse said not till the Dr came, and held her legs shut. The baby was coming out one way or another, and chose "another"... She ended up needing anal (or would it be colon?) reconstructive surgery. Not to mention that the baby suffered from this experience too... he had severe behavioral problems that were probably linked to that.







:


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Messac888*
I was walking up the street, wearing dd in the sling and holding ds's hand, we were on the way to a park. I ran into my friend's cousin (an acquaintence of mine) and she asked me where my diaper bag was. I said, "Home, why?" She replied, "Well, where do you keep your daughter's bottles?" I said, "In my shirt!" :LOL


Great comeback! :LOL


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

these stories are just blowing me away.


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## shireen (Oct 30, 2014)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *applejuice*
You are lucky your children were not born in the 1930s, 1940s, or 1950s, as it was customary for nurses to hold the mother's legs shut until the doctor arrived.

This resulted in, surprise!, many babies being born with some degree of oxygen depravation and, therefore, brain damage.

A baby is born when he/she is ready.























: That's horrible!!!


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kateana*
...or in the 90's: The lady I nannied (nanny-ed?) for had this happen to her. Long story short: she was pushing her baby out, nurse said not till the Dr came, and held her legs shut. The baby was coming out one way or another, and chose "another"... She ended up needing anal (or would it be colon?) reconstructive surgery. Not to mention that the baby suffered from this experience too... he had severe behavioral problems that were probably linked to that.







:


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## carriedaway (Mar 25, 2005)

last night a friend of mine told me that "if a baby spits up a lot it means they are overfed, especially if they are breastfed."







: oh my... i can't say i've EVER heard this from a reliable OR unreliable source. she, of course, heard it from a friend of hers. my friend is pregnant and is soaking up her friends' advice like a sponge.

anyone met those type of people that you don't even TRY to argue with, because they are so far gone?! i was too tired to argue it, and felt like common sense should say her remark was stupid, so if her common sense didn't tell her she was crazy, then neither would my arguments.









carrie


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## 1mama2girls+1? (Sep 10, 2004)

I don't get any of those great lines.. i'm afraid i get stuck with the
"do you know what it is?" .... my response "hopefully a baby i don't have patience for another dog"

"wow how many are in there?.... response "last ultrasound there were 10, but they multiply daily" ( i have only ever had singleton pg)

" if you get much bigger you're going to explode" ... reasponse "i hope not i still have 6 months to go"

i think the only outrageous thing i have really heard was during my first pg when i met another pg girl who informed me that babies _needed_ formula or they would die. I may not have known much, but i knew enough that the human race lived for centuries before formula was created.


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1mama2girls+1?*
I don't get any of those great lines.. i'm afraid i get stuck with the
"do you know what it is?" .... my response "hopefully a baby i don't have patience for another dog"

"wow how many are in there?.... response "last ultrasound there were 10, but they multiply daily" ( i have only ever had singleton pg)

" if you get much bigger you're going to explode" ... reasponse "i hope not i still have 6 months to go"

:LOL I am gonna have to use those next time I hear one of those lines.


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## candipooh (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *luckymama*
re: pregnancy - my 80 y.o. MIL advised me that i should not gain more than 20 lbs and i should not sleep any more during pregnancy than i normally would - or i would end up with a "lazy baby."

i'm sure i can think of more of them - i'll get back to you!


That reminds me of a friend who was telling me about a mother who made her baby mentally handicaped by thinking angry thoughts while she nursed him. I guess it soured her milk by thinking bad thoughts and it made her nursing baby handicaped. WOW!


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)




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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *1mama2girls+1?*
I don't get any of those great lines.. i'm afraid i get stuck with the
"do you know what it is?" .... my response "hopefully a baby i don't have patience for another dog".









I told my niece it was a puppy, thinking she would get the joke, kwim? Well, when I brought the baby to meet her, my 3 yr old niece looked me in the eyes and said, "That ain't no puppy, Aunty." and then walked away shaking her head.







:


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

When people ask me "Do you know what it is?" I say, "I'm hoping it's a baby because a zebra would tear my vagina with it's hooves." Mentioning the V word normally shuts them up pretty quickly...







That and the HORROR of me not having ANY u/s...







:


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## Apwannabe (Feb 1, 2006)

Quote:

Ha! My dad keeps saying the same thing to me about my 2-month old!!! He keeps saying stuff like "that boy is so big! You're going to have to break the 4-6 month rule with him and feed him cereal earlier, or he'll be eating every 15 minutes!!!"

OK... that makes sense, dad... umm, if he's so big, do ya really think he's not getting enough food, and also, uh, do I have anything MORE IMPORTANT to do right now than feed my baby??? So what if he wants to eat every 15 minutes? Isn't that what maternity leave is for??? :LOL

Somtimes I think people can't wrap there head around the fact that breastmilk is food.It isn't just a drink it is food. My dad is like that telling me that baby has to eat all the time. Like I'm not feeding her becuase she doesn't get solids. DOes that make sense?


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## shelleyd (Jul 24, 2005)

My boss was horrified that I planned on a drug free birth. When I told her that I would be having a waterbirth, she said "but pregnant women can't get in hot tubs". My response, "but they can take narcotics?"







Some people just don't think!

Shelley


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## Apwannabe (Feb 1, 2006)

Quote:

She proceeded to explain to me how lying on your back was the best position for 2nd stage because that way, you weren't pushing the baby out against the force of gravity!!
huh?????

Quote:

WIC told me to wean my dd (now 4 1/2 months) to maintain my new pregnancy (yay, we're due Januray 24th of 2006). Dumb wic people.
They told me that too but at least I was nursing a 13 month old I can't imagine being told to wean my 4.5 month old.

I also have to say were are these ladies DP when the nurses are holding there legs shut. If my husband let a nurse to that to me we'd be divorced.


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AnnMarie*
My Mom wouldn't give me a babyshower with my first daughter because, "Nobody would come." (Because the baby's father wasn't white.).

I would!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shelleyd*
My boss was horrified that I planned on a drug free birth. When I told her that I would be having a waterbirth, she said "but pregnant women can't get in hot tubs". My response, "but they can take narcotics?"







Some people just don't think!

Shelley

But, the doctors wouldn't give us epidurals, if they didn't _know_ they were safe for the baby!! Of course drugs during _labour_ are different...the doctor said so. The medical profession hasn't given us such assurance about waterbirth, and if it's not safe during pregnancy, it's not safe during labour. (BTW, I was under the impression that the water in a birthing pool was warm, maybe even _very_ warm, but I didn't think it was a hot tub. Was I way off?)


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## brewgirl (Sep 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JanetF*
When people ask me "Do you know what it is?" I say, "I'm hoping it's a baby because a zebra would tear my vagina with it's hooves."

I haven't laughed as hard as I just did in a really long time. All I can keep picturing is the faces of all those nosy people who try to tell me I NEED to find out the gender. This is such a fabulous comeback. I think I may have to use it!


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

From a pregnant former co-worker, "I can't breastfeed this baby, because i dried up last time, and there may be dry milk in there still." (ahhh so that is where powedered milk comes from DOH!)

I had 2 births where my kids were born vaginally and both were just barely over 7 pounds, and did so with out tearing or episotomies. I was talking to a friend of mine that had 2 kids too, both of hers were just under 6 pounds and she had tearing that required stitches. I told her that I didn't know what it was like to have stitches. "WOW, you must have a huge vagina" came her response. Yeah that took the wind out of my sails!

"...and here we have the Grand Vagina Canyon. Hear the echo echo echo echo echo..."

After a friend had her 4th C-section, she told me that the doctor jokingly told her if she had another that he'd give her a tummy tuck for free with the next C-section, and she thought it was funny.....I didn't laugh, so she told it to me again in case i didn't hear it the first time..I didn't know what to say so i let out a meak haw haw.

Former supervisor asks me when I brought my newborn into work, "So how long do you have to breastfeed before you can give her a bottle with formula?" ...Ah, I pick, never on that one.

My aunt who is a pediatric dental chair side assistant, and dental educator, who loves to rant about kids with "bottle-mouth" "Eww gross, I don't see how you can breastfeed!"......mKay....

My best-friend (who went through 2 unmedicated vaginal births and 1 unmedicated episiotomy because all drugs make her puke) upon learning that I really want a homebirth if i am blessed with #3 "Are you going to be all hippie-like and hug trees and then be all zen-like and sit crossed legged and hum? Can I be there to see it come out of your whoha? Do we have to chant, though?" ....well I guess if homebirthing means that i am a hippie, then it is a good thing that I like the Grateful Dead and wear tie-dye and hemp. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hypatia*
Definitely stop sex before crowning.

That's what the soft spot's for.


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits*
....well I guess if homebirthing means that i am a hippie, then it is a good thing that I like the Grateful Dead and wear tie-dye and hemp. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

























Yesterday I ended up sitting next to some guy in class who seemed to think is was his duty to interrogate me about my pg (well, have you talke dot the schoo?! You need to talk to someone so they know what's gong on!?) Dude, MYOB!

I figured since he was just SO interested that I'd answer his questions and he lerned way more about homebirthing than he ever cared to know. This is a childless, male, law student in his early twenties who doesn't have a gf and knew literally nothing bout birth. He assured me several times that after doing it at home I'd regret it and be ready to do things "normally" next time. Glad you know so much guy.


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Last week, hen DH and I went to the store where we both used to work, his evil ex-boss who found an excuse to get him fired bc he asked her to stop making obscene and racist jokes came up to us and started not only folndling my belly, but repeating over and over that "yep, it looks like a boy to me!"

What exactly, looks like a boy?

After that i'm just hoping the u/s was right and it's a girl.

Freakish know-it-all.


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## terrabella (Oct 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma*
I was told by a group of Indian women at a cultural event that dh and I attended, "I think your baby must be a girl. Yes, a girl. Girls will steal a mother's beauty when she's carrying."









I hadn't ever heard this, but with my boys I was beautiful and glowing. And with my daughter I looked awful. I had this awful rash on my face and my skin was all sallow and the list goes on!


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## indiana ima (May 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Apwannabe*
I also have to say were are these ladies DP when the nurses are holding there legs shut. If my husband let a nurse to that to me we'd be divorced.

i don't remember the exact post(s) you are referring to, but i am guessing that their husbands were locked out of the delivery room, pacing the waiting room. because it wasn't that long ago that having a husband in the delivery room wasn't allowed. my MIL likes to rant (still!) about how her husband was forbidden to be there for his oldest child's birth (in 1967) but her next-door neighbor was allowed to wander in and say "hi" for the heck of it, because the neighbor was a doctor.

my father used to work in a hospital that attracted pregnant clients from miles and miles away because, in the early 1970's, they had the very unusual policy of allowing fathers in the delivery room to be there for the whole birth. there were apparently fathers in other parts of the country who were taking to handcuffing themselves to their wives hospital beds so that they couldn't get kicked out of the room.


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mandalamama*
i had gestational diabetes and once i started going in for NSTs and ultrasounds at the end of the pregnancy, i kept hearing the most lame-ass statements (from staff who'd never met me before):

"so, when are we going to induce you?" uh, NEVER.

"so, when are we going to deliver you?"







: what am i, a pizza??









:


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

My sOB told me that "*babies born at 34 weeks have better survival rates when born by c-section*" when trying to rationalize a completely unnecessary c-section the morning after my son's death. He followed this up quickly by adding, *"If I'd known your baby was going to die anyway, I might have considered allowing you a vaginal birth"*.

He was such a warm, sensitive man.









Random things I've heard:
"If you stand in front of a microwave while you're pregnant, you could melt your baby."
"Your uterus will explode if you try a VBAC!"
A *Med*wife essentially told me I didn't have to be in labour to deliver a preemie (34 weeks).


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

A relative of one of my doula clients asked me if they would give her a shot of something to make her milk come in.


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## lunasmommy (Jun 30, 2005)

from my sOB, after i spoke with her about wanting a natural birth:

you dont want to have a natural birth. go watch one of those baby stories on TLC, having a baby is painful, thats why we have epidurals. actually, lets induce you since you dont have a car, we wouldnt want yoou to have your baby on the bus.

needless to say we never showed at the next appt. and i had a nice 8 hour birthcenter birth that i was on time to!!


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lunasmommy*
from my sOB, after i spoke with her about wanting a natural birth:
you dont want to have a natural birth. go watch one of those baby stories on TLC, having a baby is painful, thats why we have epidurals. actually, lets induce you since you dont have a car, we wouldnt want yoou to have your baby on the bus.

As if TLC is the medical authority on everything.

I see mostly horror stories on those shows. Occasionally I'm actually treated to a natural or home birth. That's the only reason I keep watching.


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## gen_here (Dec 31, 2005)

A ***** in the due date club I was in with my first (different site) commenting on a mom-to-be saying her hubby liked to poke her belly button back in and watch it pop back out:

"You need to tell him not to do that. It's very dangerous! It can cause the umbillical cord to wrap around the baby's neck!"

This same chick tried to tell us all that we shouldn't drink RRL because her OB said it was dangerous... it's not regulated by the FDA!


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Well, several people asked both my mom and I yesterday (on separate occasions) when the midwife thinks the baby is coming.

Well, I dunno because she forgot to bring her crystal ball to my prenatal!














I just don't think I'm going to church or anything like that until the baby arrives because my big mouth is gonna get me in trouble.


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## cherubess (Oct 14, 2004)

When I was pregnant with DS I was so fatigued during the first trimester that I slept a lot. My mother was convinced that I was carrying a girl because she went through exactly the same thing.

DS's godmother (who I must add is childless and a bit of a ditz) asked if I had cut down the amount of breastfeeding now that the then 7 month old DS was on solids. When I replied that he was still BFing the same amount she exclaimed "Oh no wonder you are so chubby" to DS. In truth he is normal, not chubby at all.

The absolute funniest (to me) was when DS was a couple of months old and my mother mentioned she was waiting in the doctor's waiting room and saw a woman and four daughters come in the door. She then told me that she thought to herself what the woman's husband and mother-in-law thought of the her as she didn't have any boys. I had to educate my mother really quickly on how it was the man's sperm which determined the sex of the baby while trying to hold back the laughter.

(note: my mother was only educated to year 5 as her step-father thought that girls didn't need education as they got married young and had babies).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits*
"...and here we have the Grand Vagina Canyon. Hear the echo echo echo echo echo..."









:


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleteapot*
My sOB told me that "*babies born at 34 weeks have better survival rates when born by c-section*" when trying to rationalize a completely unnecessary c-section the morning after my son's death. He followed this up quickly by adding, *"If I'd known your baby was going to die anyway, I might have considered allowing you a vaginal birth"*.


i am so sorry that somebody would be so callous


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

One of my immediate relatives told me "All women should have a c-section like you. It's a lot less painful than pushing the baby out."

HOW she would think it's less painful is beyond me esp since she hasn't had a c-section


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

I agree... that is a TERRIBLE thing to say.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:

"...and here we have the Grand Vagina Canyon. Hear the echo echo echo echo echo..."










OMG, where's the "I just wet my pants laughing" smiley?


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## lunasmommy (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits*
"Are you going to be all hippie-like and hug trees and then be all zen-like and sit crossed legged and hum? Can I be there to see it come out of your whoha? Do we have to chant, though?" ....well I guess if homebirthing means that i am a hippie, then it is a good thing that I like the Grateful Dead and wear tie-dye and hemp. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Yeah,I've gotten the "well you must want to have a natural birth because your a hippy" deal before.

AHH!!







SO _thats_ why I couldnt resist the urge to pack my "I miss Jerry" shirt in my birth stuff!!!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits*
From a pregnant former co-worker, "I can't breastfeed this baby, because i dried up last time, and there may be dry milk in there still." (ahhh so that is where powedered milk comes from DOH!)

Off topic, I wonder if it would have been possible to convince that woman to ask her doctor to get the dried milk out of her breasts "so it can be used in formula"? The argument would go like this: Lots of woman end up stopping breastfeeding because they "ran out of milk". So the milk must have "dried up" like yours. Lots of people, even doctors, claim that formula is "just as good as breastmilk" so formula must have the same stuff as breastmilk so it must contain breastmilk. Formula usually comes in a powder form so it must be dried breastmilk. Therefore doctors can take dried breastmilk out of women and give it to formula companies. The formula companies repay the doctors by giving them formula samples to give to the women. She could even ask her doctor how many samples of formula she/he gives out and how many clients end up being able to breastfeed for a full year if she didn't believe the arguments!


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

The sOB on-call when I was in labor came in the room when I was chanting on a birthball and said "am I crashing the beach party?" (because I was sitting on a "beach" ball?!).

And then he said I wasn't progressing because I wasn't laying in the bed. "Your chanting is not going to help make this baby come."

I was so glad he wasn't there to catch the baby.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

You go right ahead, brewgirl.


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## phoebemommy (Mar 30, 2006)

This is of a few days ago...

"Why would you want to do that to a child?"

regarding our choice of an unusual and controvercial (but not unheard of) name for our future DS. This from MIL, who both smoked while she was pregant with DH and had him circumcised, which he now resents. I hadn't judged either of her choices until now.


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## KittyKat (Nov 17, 2002)

Once before I was married/had kids (but already knew I wanted to birth without drugs and breastfeed my babies... like my momma did for us!) I was babysitting two little girls. The older of the two came up and asked me if I was going to have kids. I said I hope to get married and have kids someday.

She asked "When you have kids, where do you want your cut?"
I said WHAT?
and she said when the baby comes out, do you want a cut like this (indicating vertical incision) or like this? (indicating low transverse incision)
I said I don't want a cut at all! (Sorry, but I'm not going to LIE to the poor deluded child!)
and she goes then HOW will the baby get OUT? Poor girl thought *I* was stupid... I said she should ask her mom about it. To this day the thought of that poor child horrifies me.

I was asked if the midwife gives you an epidural at home before. I just smiled and said, nope, I don't need one.

When I was pregnant with my first, I had been married 5 months, DH & I were thrilled. I told one of the people I worked with at the vet's office and he said "ruh-oh!" like it was a BAD thing... OK I know I look young and all, but geez! I said "My husband and I are very happy!" and he immediately changed his tune and offered the usual congratulations etc. Jerk.

I was told by my sOB at my pp appointment that:
I needed to get on birth control pills at 6 weeks
That the NON APPROVED pills he gave me were safe to take while breastfeeding because "the dosages are so low these days" (hello, they're HORMONES, by definition they are a substance that works in very tiny amounts!)
That it was "irresponsible" to have kids close together in age

I opened one of the sample packs, just to read the package insert. It had microscopic print with all kinds of technical jargon, but the laregest print ALL CAPS and BOLDED said "DO NOT TAKE THIS PRODUCT WHILE BREASTFEEDING!"

I never went back, and I guess I'm "irresponsible" because I already had 3 kids by the time DS1 was 3 years old. They're the light of my life and I am honored to be their mother. They seem to be doing OK, everyone always says my kids are beautiful, cute, sweet, enjoyable to talk to, and that I have a lovely family. Except that doc, he told my MIL when he heard #2 was a girl "Oh good, now they have one of each they can stop" (Yeah, that's why we had two kids, to get a complete "set") MIL said our family decisions were between DH and me (GO MIL!!!) and sOB said "But surely as his mother you could put a word in..." MIL realized that was not the opportune moment to tell him #3 was already on the way and we were all happy about the new blessing. Some doctors should just NOT be allowed within 50 miles of a pregnant woman...

Kathryn


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KittyKat*
Once before I was married/had kids (but already knew I wanted to birth without drugs and breastfeed my babies... like my momma did for us!) I was babysitting two little girls. The older of the two came up and asked me if I was going to have kids. I said I hope to get married and have kids someday.

She asked "When you have kids, where do you want your cut?"
I said WHAT?
and she said when the baby comes out, do you want a cut like this (indicating vertical incision) or like this? (indicating low transverse incision)
I said I don't want a cut at all! (Sorry, but I'm not going to LIE to the poor deluded child!)
and she goes then HOW will the baby get OUT? Poor girl thought *I* was stupid... I said she should ask her mom about it. To this day the thought of that poor child horrifies me.

I am so heartbroken by that story. It's SO sad that C-section is considered a "normal" way to birth a baby, and even more so that a child doesn't know any other way!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

That's so sad. I always have so much trouble talking to my kids, especially dd. I don't want them to feel guilty for all the difficulty I've had dealing with my c-sections. But...I also don't want them to think my scar is "normal". I don't want them to think that babies have to be cut from their mother's bodies with a scalpel. DD already knows that babies come out of their mothers through the vagina, _and_ that "something went wrong" (ie. mommy is gutless, but I don't tell her that part) and the doctor had to take her out through my stomach. But...it's still hard to talk about and find a way to explain it to her. DS1 seems to "get it" remarkably well, so I'll just hope that I walk the explanation minefield as well with my little ones.


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KittyKat*
She asked "When you have kids, where do you want your cut?" I said WHAT?
and she said when the baby comes out, do you want a cut like this (indicating vertical incision) or like this? (indicating low transverse incision)

Reminds me of those stuffed animals that are adult dogs or cats, and you reach through a slit in their _belly_ to remove their puppies/kittens.
My first thought when I heard that story was that the girl's parents were uncomfortable talking about the facts of reproduction, and only told her about that kind of childbirth.








I can imagine how tricky it would be instilling a trust of birth in kiddos who know about c-sections. I was born at home, and we raised goats and sheep and saw how the mamas chose quiet, dark times and private places to birth- unassisted and successfully! I think it helped me trust my body through pregnancy and childbirth (and nursing!) immensely.


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## Phoebe (Jun 12, 2003)

From a male coworker when I was about 35 weeks or so and planning home birth:

"What if your baby comes out retarded?"

I hollered at him and told him not to EVER say anything like that to a pregnant woman again. Later I thought...would my baby be any _less_ retarded in the hospital? Please!

He was really very curious about my pregnancy and asked alot of questions which I enjoyed. This one was just really not very well though out on his part.


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## littleteapot (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramlita*
Reminds me of those stuffed animals that are adult dogs or cats, and you reach through a slit in their _belly_ to remove their puppies/kittens.

My daughter got one of those as a gift a few months ago! We call it the "c-section dog".


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
DD already knows that babies come out of their mothers through the vagina, _and_ that "something went wrong" (ie. mommy is gutless, but I don't tell her that part) and the doctor had to take her out through my stomach.

That was pretty much my own understanding about my birth until this year when I specifically asked for details. If it's any comfort I never had a feeling of causing my mother hardship or of having been at risk for death.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pamamidwife*
What is the most outrageous thing someone has said...
about pregnancy and/or birth to you?

From my mother, about my own birth :

- That I was a lazy and stubborn baby, even before I was born.
- That I caused her hours and hours of "needless" pain

FWIW - I was a vaginal, forceps delivery in 1977. I've seen photos from when I was less than a day old - I've got a major conehead (MAJOR, as in at least 3 inches of cone) - with the cone pointing off to one side, as well as bruising around the side of my face.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

Oh, and another gem from my mom.

- That I don't know what "real" labour feels like.

I've had 2 completely unmedicated births, one at home. Her rational ? That my first was born in 3.5 hours, and my second in less than 1.5 hours. About 5 hours total labour - therefore I don't know what "real" labour is like !


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## lunasmommy (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minkajane*
I am so heartbroken by that story. It's SO sad that C-section is considered a "normal" way to birth a baby, and even more so that a child doesn't know any other way!

Ohh, i thought she was talking episiotomy....but that clears things up....so sad!


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizaBear*
FWIW - I was a vaginal, forceps delivery in 1977. I've seen photos from when I was less than a day old - I've got a major conehead (MAJOR, as in at least 3 inches of cone) - with the cone pointing off to one side, as well as bruising around the side of my face.

My mom had the enema, shave, spinal (her stepMIL told her it was a must, no one advocated natural birth but she hated the spinal and went drug-free with my two brothers), episiotomy w/forceps, push lying down hospital birth and always told me all about it- but never in a way to blame me, but to say that she didn't like the things DONE to her.







I'm sorry your mom makes you feel bad- and short labors can be very intense!


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *busybusymomma*
My mom had the enema, shave, spinal (her stepMIL told her it was a must, no one advocated natural birth but she hated the spinal and went drug-free with my two brothers), episiotomy w/forceps, push lying down hospital birth and always told me all about it- but never in a way to blame me, but to say that she didn't like the things DONE to her.







I'm sorry your mom makes you feel bad- and short labors can be very intense!









I WISH she'd only told me to tell me, but no - from her this information is all "YOU did this to me" and "it's YOUR fault I had to have stitches" etc.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

My mother blamed me for the rest of her life for being "10 days late" and causing her a massive 19 hours of labour from membranes rupturing spontaneously to me being ripped out with forceps. Mustn't speak ill of lovely doctors who make us lie on our backs in labour, must we?!


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

I guess I should be glad my mom never blamed me (well only in a joking way, but we have that kind of relationship) for the 49 hours and 53 minutes of hellish labor I put her through, all pain medication free! I can never understand how woman can't go through the pain without meds because my mom sure as heck did! Seven minutes more and they would have wheeled her in for a c-section, but she so did not want that!


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

I don't know how I managed to forget this but it only came to me just now. During my 1st trimester a male co-worker of mine told me "Don't get too attached to the baby because most first time pregnancies end up in a miscarriage."


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I cannot understand how anybody can blame a baby for the circumstances of its birth...and to flat out _tell_ a child that it was all "your fault"??? That's so cruel.









BookGoddess: I would have been hard put not to smack him. What an awful thing to say to a woman experiencing her first pregnancy!


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## KittyKat (Nov 17, 2002)

Some more stuff I remembered:

The ped at #3's 1 week checkup asked if she was a "c-section baby" because she had such a perfect round head. The only one of my babies who had any "molding" was #1 and he was induced at 39 weeks due to stupid lying sOB. All the rest have been born vaginally without drugs and had gorgeous round heads.

My mom had 48 hours of labor with me. They kept trying to get me to turn because I was occiput transverse (facing to the side instead of mom's back) and they wanted me to turn anterior. As it turns out mom's pelvis is shaped in such a way that her babies come out best that way. They stood her up to do a pelvimetry x-ray and I almost fell out right there LOL!

She has occasionally joked about this with me, gently, but really she teases me more about the way I kicked and flipped all the time during her pregnancy than about how my birth went. I think it's bizarre to "blame" a person for their own birth... like the baby forced the actions of the doctors or chose what happened? Please.

Kathryn


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## homebirthing (Nov 10, 2002)

At an interview last week with a family, they told me a nurse had told a friend that "When we see a mom with a birth plan, we know they are a c-section waiting to happen"...

I told them, when I see a nurse like that, I switch care providers!


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## G&B'sMama (Mar 25, 2005)

My son was born after a less than 2 hour labor, on the side of the road at a freeway off ramp. We were stopped by a state trooper on our way to see the midwife, and she wouldn’t let us drive the 2 miles to the midwife’s house. When the EMT’s arrived, they bullied me because I refused to go to the hospital. One of them said “There’s nothing a midwife can do for you now- you need to go to the hospital!” So 20 minutes later, after the baby was born right there at the side of the road, they took me (and the babe) to the hospital and I when I refused to give them my name or be admitted they said “If you wanted a homebirth, why are you here?” Hello! They took me against my will! The EMT who told me the midwife couldn’t help me just kept saying over and over “Wow, that wasn’t anything like the training video!”


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## Incubator (May 11, 2006)

After my son was born I wasn't prepared for him to want to BF literally 24 hours a day on his second day. I asked the night nurse about it, how he would suck until he fell asleep and then wake up screaming and only calm when put back to the breast. She told me that the baby was just using me as a pacifier and I couldn't allow him to do that. She said my nipples need at least a 2 hour break between feedings. I said "What the hell do you expect me to do? Let him scream?"

Later that night when he started getting a little fussy, I asked the nurses to watch him for an half an hour so that I could get just a liitle more sleep, but please not give him any formula. Well he really let them have it as soon as they wheeled him out. A minute later that same nurse came in and said they had to give him formula. "*We can't just let him scream*, we have to give him a bottle" Boy I really laid into her over that... I asked them to try and if he didn't calm down I would take him back. Just seconds after she walked out I couldn't take it anymore and went to get him back myself.


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## blessed (Jan 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *G&B'sMama*
"Wow, that wasn't anything like the training video!"

So how did it end, G&B'sMama? Did you have to stay in the hospital? Did they try to sic CPS on you?


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## Mama8 (Mar 6, 2006)

My df and I were pregnant at the same time. During pregnancy her blood sugars went up . sOB scared her to death telling her how big her baby would be and it could get should dystocia. This woman has already had 4 children naturally and they were not tiny babies either. So she asks the sOB if they will induce her early. The sOB said,"Babies of diabetic Moms lungs mature slower than babies whose moms are not diabetic. So we will not induce you early." As the pregnancy progressed the same sOB said,"Oh this baby is huge we need to induce you now!" At 2 1/2 weeks early they induced her. The baby was born a whopping 7lbs and was not breathing on her own and had to be resucitated. My df is so grateful that her baby was born at the hospital with this OB and believes she had a wonderful birth







:


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## teacup (Nov 12, 2005)

Don't know if this counts as being about birth, but it is crazy nonetheless, and is really the only crappy thing anyone said to me all during pregnancy, labor, and birth.

I was laboring and was having my second wave of serious doubts about going sans epi. My SO and doula asked the nurse to have the resident come give me an internal and she straight-up said they wouldn't unless I GOT an epidural.

Bitch.

So my doula told my husband to track down the resident, who promptly checked me and found I was at 8cm. (Transition. Surprise!)


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mama8*
The sOB said,"Babies of diabetic Moms lungs mature slower than babies whose moms are not diabetic. So we will not induce you early." As the pregnancy progressed the same sOB said,"Oh this baby is huge we need to induce you know!"









: "If somehow stuck with OB for pregnancy, heaven forfend, bring tape recorder to all prenatal meetings and inform doctor I'm transcribing all instructions to 'be certain I don't misunderstand anything'. Then bring all transcripts to each future appointment in case of stupidity."


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## G&B'sMama (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blessed*
So how did it end, G&B'sMama? Did you have to stay in the hospital? Did they try to sic CPS on you?

No, I had to wait until they woke their lawyer up, who told them to have me sign a piece of paper saying I was being "discharged" against medical advice, even though I wasn't really discharged but was refusing to be admitted. They handed me my placenta in a plastic bag and my midwife, who had caught up with us by that point, helped me to her car and drove us home. They wouldn't even give me a blanket or a towel- so I had to walk out of the hospital completely naked from the waist down. I didn't care at the time, I just wanted out of there. It hindsight, though, it was pretty humiliating treatment. I have posted my birth story, for those who want to read it.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=310801


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## cfiddlinmama (May 9, 2006)

I had a horrible CNM for my 2nd birth and when I was fully dilated she told me to start pushing. I didn't have any pushing ctx but after she got onto me for a while I decided to try (I needed her to shut up) she had the nerve to say: "You're not doing it right!" Then I was trying to squat and she said: "You can't squat - you'll tear."

(I had to transfer to her care @ 34 wks because of a military move - I wasn't prepared for her to be so aweful & didn't advocate for myself.....)

The nurse for the same birth was a b***h the whole time I was pushing she stood beside me and made annoying comments like "it looks like a boy's head" then was it was a boy she said "see I told you it looked like a boy." After he was born I was nursing him and she goes "after ten minutes the breast is empty. Go ahead and take him off so I can give him a bath." Horrible person. Like I would stop him from nursing right after he was born.

Oh how I wish I had found you ladies before my 2 hospital births, I would have saved myself from so much bs.....


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cfiddlinmama*
I had a horrible CNM for my 2nd birth and when I was fully dilated she told me to start pushing. I didn't have any pushing ctx but after she got onto me for a while I decided to try (I needed her to shut up) she had the nerve to say: "You're not doing it right!" Then I was trying to squat and she said: "You can't squat - you'll tear."

Something I wonder when I hear stories like this is why aren't there more cases of careproviders having their noses bit off?


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## rozzie'sma (Jul 6, 2005)

When I was pregnant my college professor told my to "request the episotomy or you will tear through your rectum and wear diapers the rest of your life." Um yeah, I didn't require a single stich, thank you


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## Shell_Ell (Jun 13, 2005)

My son was born at 40w5d, and I knew the date of conception because I was charting. He was only 6 lb 11 oz, and everyone noted how small he was for being overdue. One of my aunts said "I'll bet your dates were off"







: Why? Because I didn't have a GIANT baby after 40 weeks like everyone thinks you do and OBs tell clients to get them to schedule inductions?

This aunt also told me (right after having my son- she just came in unannounced because she worked at the hospital that we transfered to from my birth center) "I'm so glad you decided to be here. It's so much safer" Umm yea. I HAD to be there, it wasn't like I decided to be there over a birth center.

My cousin also told me that I should have had a csection, because it's way easier than going through labor, and it's actually safer. I let it slide.


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shell_Ell*
My son was born at 40w5d, and I knew the date of conception because I was charting. He was only 6 lb 11 oz, and everyone noted how small he was for being overdue. One of my aunts said "I'll bet your dates were off"







: Why? Because I didn't have a GIANT baby after 40 weeks like everyone thinks you do and OBs tell clients to get them to schedule inductions?









I always joked that I'd have to go overdue to have an 8lb baby... well dd2 was born two weeks ago at 40+6 and she was still only 7lb 6oz. I've have had to go to 42 weeks (or more) to have that 8lb baby.


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)




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## KKmama (Dec 6, 2001)

With my latest birth (my 2nd VBAC), I arrived at the hospital very far along (contractions so close I literally couldn't get my pants off to be checked







). My doula was fabulous, my OB (who also attended my 1st VBAC) was fabulous, my dh (who caught our baby) was fabulous, but we had no choice about nurses (because it was a busy night and I arrived so close to pushing). Anyway, as soon as the L&D nurse found out I was VBACking--even though she knew it was my 2nd VBAC and things were very obviously going *very* smoothly and quickly--she told the OB and my dh that they would be prepping the OR immediately.







: Darned good thing *I* didn't hear her, because I would have probably punched her. We finally got my pants off (so I could pee), my water popped, and the baby was born (easily! no meds!) about 30-45 minutes later.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KKmama*
We finally got my pants off (so I could pee), my water popped, and the baby was born (easily! no meds!) about 30-45 minutes later.









I wonder if they even managed to get an open OR and prep it in that time.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Mom, who knows I'm having a VHAC, says "You'll be 40 next year. Are you planning to have your tubes tied? You know, they can do that at the same time."

Same time as what!? So, I have my homebirth, then rush off to the hospital to have surgery so my tubes can be tied??? (A question - this doen't really happen, does it? I mean, if you have a vaginal delivery in the hospital, will they then tie your tubes right after? I can't imagine. The only thing I can think of is after a planned cesarean, maybe?)

PS - this will be my 2nd child. Perhaps it's criminal to have more than 2?


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:

A question - this doen't really happen, does it? I mean, if you have a vaginal delivery in the hospital, will they then tie your tubes right after?
Actually, yeah, they will. This is what my cousin Maggie had done after her fourth child was born.

OK, I've thought of a few mor ridiculous things since the last time I replied to this thread:

Said cousin Maggie was induced with said fourth child three weeks early. Why? Because she had been dialated 4cm for six weeks and "He was obviously ready to come out." Uh, then why didn't he?

Another cousin's ex-fiancee, when she had their son, wasn't able to breastfeed because her milk hadn't come in after three days, so they had to give the boy formula.







The sad thing is, she _wanted_ to breastfeed, but this is what she was told by the nurses at the hospital!

Another mama on another board had a hard time establishing her supply with her son because he was so big when he was born that colostrum alone wasn't enough, and he _needed_ formula. BUT he is a couple of weeks older than my youngest and still being breastfed. So I have to give her lots of credit for overcoming a rocky start brought on by poor advice.

The same board, we just had a young girl whose baby was delivered by c-section. A completely elective c-section; she didn't even pretend it was necessary. And she's so happy that she was allowed to choose, because it was just great to go to sleep and then wake up and have a baby.







: So not only did she have a needless surgery, she had needless general anesthesia. Of course, she bottlefeeds (which begs the question of why she's still hanging around the "Pregnant and NURSING forum), and when the poor tyke was about a week old she was talking about how he was a little constipated--nothing to do with formula, of course--so her husband was running out to get some prune juice and apple juice. When I politely expressed my reservations about this tack, she said that her pediatrician had recommended it. Note to self: never give birth in Qatar.

My aunt gave me some helpful advice shortly after the first was born. She told me that when Bobbie hit two months I would need to give her cereal because she would be hungry. I would have to keep trying until I overcame her gag reflex. Of course, this is the same woman who told me to nurse my baby only five minutes on each side, no more. So I don't doubt that her babies really were hungry at two months! More bad advice from doctors. At least she had a doctor who insisted on breastfeeding for all his patients (very unusual back in the early and mid-'70s). She nursed 4 out of 5 kids, only missing #2, who couldn't nurse because he was allergic to her breastmilk. Oh, and she told her elder daughter she couldn't breastfeed because her breasts were too small (mind you, this gal has breastfed kids #2 - 5, and can hand-express 4 ounces of milk in about five minutes), and her other daughter, the aforementioned Maggie, that _she_ couldn't nurse because her breasts were too big! (Thankfully, Ruth has only managed to ruin nursing for each woman's eldest child.)









I had one nasty nurse read me the riot act over having planned a HB (didn't tell 'em UC) with Esther because VBACs are too dangerous to do at home.







Thankfully, she was there only long enough to put in an IV. "My" nurse commented as we were headed from the labor/delivery/recovery room to a regular hospital room that she was surprised my midwife had "let" me nurse Linda while I was pregnant! I heard the same thing from another nurse. Mind you, they didn't think it was a bad thing I'd nursed while pregnant, or that I was planning to tandem nurse, they were just amazed I'd gotten permission.









I think that's everything...


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Former OB ( this was in 2005!!! )

"You only smoke a few cigarettes a day, I don't think that will have any effect on the baby." Yes, I was still an occasional smoker until March of this year. So much for a DOCTOR trying to get me to quit. Glad I quit on my own.


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## ramlita (Mar 26, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl*
Another mama on another board had a hard time establishing her supply with her son because he was so big when he was born that colostrum alone wasn't enough, and he _needed_ formula. BUT he is a couple of weeks older than my youngest and still being breastfed. So I have to give her lots of credit for overcoming a rocky start brought on by poor advice.

Where does this thinking come from???







:
I have heard a lot of people say this, even talking about eight and nine pounders, and I just don't get it.







Our bodies support the babies on the inside, why couldn't we continue to do so once they're out?

It's especially odd to me, since dd was 10 lbs, 8 oz, when she was born!
Sure, the midwife put her on my belly and she army-crawled right up to a nipple and clamped on (shockingly accurately and firmly














) and wanted to nurse a lot, but when she was weighed four days later, she had _gained_ several ounces!


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## Tuwamare (May 31, 2006)

This is a great thread... I've really enjoyed it!









I have something to add... my grandmother gave me a pamphlet she still had from when I was a baby. My mom had gotten it from the doctor after I was born. It recommended to start the baby on orange juice daily at the age of six weeks. Oh, and it was perfectly normal for the baby to spit it up!  Makes me wonder how I survived, sometimes. LOL


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## MyrandaDawn (Jun 10, 2006)

This really isn't a birth story, but something that happened right after birth. With my first, I was in hard labor for a little over 40 hours. I hadn't slept and was very tired after everything. When I was ready to see everybody the doctor let them in the room. Remember now, this is 30 minutes after a 40 hour labor. Everybody was so happy. My dad and I were talking and I didn't here Laurie saying something to me (DP's aunt) so naturally I didn't respond. So she insisted on "tapping" me not so lightly on the shoulder and saying, "Wow, you really have no personality, do you?" Well, at this moment my dad was holding the baby. So I looked back at her and said "Wow, it looks like you have two seconds for me to see you walking out of here." She let me know that she wasn't leaving until she held the baby. When the doctor and nurse decided not to listen to me, I got up out of bed and decked the b!$%* as hard as I could. She left, and I was happy again.


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MyrandaDawn*
This really isn't a birth story, but something that happened right after birth. With my first, I was in hard labor for a little over 40 hours. I hadn't slept and was very tired after everything. When I was ready to see everybody the doctor let them in the room. Remember now, this is 30 minutes after a 40 hour labor. Everybody was so happy. My dad and I were talking and I didn't here Laurie saying something to me (DP's aunt) so naturally I didn't respond. So she insisted on "tapping" me not so lightly on the shoulder and saying, "Wow, you really have no personality, do you?" Well, at this moment my dad was holding the baby. So I looked back at her and said "Wow, it looks like you have two seconds for me to see you walking out of here." She let me know that she wasn't leaving until she held the baby. When the doctor and nurse decided not to listen to me, I got up out of bed and decked the b!$%* as hard as I could. She left, and I was happy again.


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MyrandaDawn*
This really isn't a birth story, but something that happened right after birth. With my first, I was in hard labor for a little over 40 hours. I hadn't slept and was very tired after everything. When I was ready to see everybody the doctor let them in the room. Remember now, this is 30 minutes after a 40 hour labor. Everybody was so happy. My dad and I were talking and I didn't here Laurie saying something to me (DP's aunt) so naturally I didn't respond. So she insisted on "tapping" me not so lightly on the shoulder and saying, "Wow, you really have no personality, do you?" Well, at this moment my dad was holding the baby. So I looked back at her and said "Wow, it looks like you have two seconds for me to see you walking out of here." She let me know that she wasn't leaving until she held the baby. When the doctor and nurse decided not to listen to me, I got up out of bed and decked the b!$%* as hard as I could. She left, and I was happy again.









OMG you ROCK!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

What? Oh, no, I mean the aunt, how could she do that? I think you handled things very well under the circumstances.


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## CEG (Apr 28, 2006)

I love this thread









When I was just shy of 42 weeks preg with DD we went to the (military) OB office to see my CNM for a NST. The nurse checking me in said "Oh they wrote your due date wrong here, it says you were due March 28" when I told her that was the correct date she said "Really, we don't let people go that long." I guess I just didn't ask for permission.

My Stepsister's OB told her there was no way she could deliver a baby over 6 pounds vaginally and tried to get her to schedule a c-section. She refused but agreed to schedule an induction at 39 weeks. She gave birth vaginally (not naturally ladies







) to a 7 lb 2 oz baby boy. Idiot doctor.

My MIL told me not to raise my hands over my head or I would tangle the cord. I sarcastically asked her how I was supposed to wash my hair for the next few months. She very seriously explained that I had to bend over in the shower









I always get the "boy and a girl, perfect family, you can stop" and it makes me so mad b/c I am trying to talk DH into having 2 more. I usually say "Actually I was hoping DS would be another girl" and they shut up.

I used to always get the "Oh, it's a baby in there!" Do they think I am playing with a doll or am very careful with the stuff I keep in my lumpy and oddly shaped purse?

I constantly got "Oh the baby dropped, you will go any minute" with my DD from 6 months on. I would say " I hope not since she will be 3 months premature" and that shut people up pretty quickly.

I could go on all day


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## Jewelie (Nov 18, 2005)

my mom has 2 of the best ones I ever heard:

when she was 18 & pregnant with me (38 yrs ago), (small mill town in NC) and she told her doctor she planned to BF, he laughed and said, "honey nobody does that anymore," & called in a nurse who promptly gave her a shot in the arm to dry up her milk. she spent my infancy holding me to her breast but being afraid to let me latch on b/c she didn't know if the drugs in the shot would hurt me (which I told her they wouldn't have)- too bad she didn't know about LLL.

then to add insult to injury, despite her labor with me being fast, drug-free, and painless, they forced laughing gas on her right as I was being born. She came to later and was furious as everyone told her what a beautiful baby I was when she hadn't laid eyes on me and I was still in the nursery.

she got her revenge later by nursing my siblings to age 3 and having an (unheard of at that time) unplanned VBAC with my sister by arriving at the hospital as she was pushing (LOL). It really wasn't on purspose- just a superfast labor. Nurses were mean to her and accused her of waiting so she could have a BVAC- she was terrified her uterus would rupture and baby would die (reason they'd told her she could not VBAC). (she'd had what was probably a necessary cesarean birth with my brother, her second, for placenta previa). also got her revenge by radicalizing me and my sister! Oh, I always feel better after venting that terrible story. I feel so angry for what they did to my mom- I really think its part of why I'm as fierce as I am about this stuff, why I became a doula, and just dare someone to tell me I can't nurse my children in their restaurant.

julie


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jewelie*

when she was 18 & pregnant with me (38 yrs ago), (small mill town in NC) and she told her doctor she planned to BF, he laughed and said, "honey nobody does that anymore," & called in a nurse who promptly gave her a shot in the arm to dry up her milk. she spent my infancy holding me to her breast but being afraid to let me latch on b/c she didn't know if the drugs in the shot would hurt me (which I told her they wouldn't have)- too bad she didn't know about LLL.

... they forced laughing gas on her right as I was being born. She came to later and was furious as everyone told her what a beautiful baby I was when she hadn't laid eyes on me and I was still in the nursery.

Nurses were mean to her and accused her of waiting so she could have a BVAC- she was terrified her uterus would rupture and baby would die (reason they'd told her she could not VBAC).

julie


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## MyrandaDawn (Jun 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*




























What? Oh, no, I mean the aunt, how could she do that? I think you handled things very well under the circumstances.

I'm pretty sure it's all for the better. She was one of those people that only came around to see her family when she needed somewhere to stay, or money. She hasn't really been around now for a little over 7 years. No one seems to mind. And it gives me a great story. If I wasn't bleeding everywhere I probably would have chased her all the way to the exit.


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## JanetF (Oct 31, 2004)

I've got some to add from my recent birth









Hb MW I hired months ago: "You have a big baby in there, already over 4kgs and I think you're at high risk of another c-sec."
I went into strong labour the next day and freebirthed a MASSIVE 3.7kgs baby 2 days later... I was about 37/38 weeks but the PTSD explosion triggered by her words were what brought my labour on, I feel.

I had a PPH afterwards and since I no longer had a MW, I HAD to go to the hospy. (If I'd planned to fb I'd have had supplies and even though I chowed down on placenta I needed some extra help and some stitching. Anyhoo...)

The ambulance driver on the way:
"Some people even EAT their placentas!"
Me: "Yep, you're looking at one."

At the hospy:
"Did you or your husband deliver the baby?"
Well I'm the one with the torn vagina, waddya reckon???

"You HAVE to bf the baby for 30mins each side!"
What if she only wants 5 mins? There's NOTHING in there yet, dopes. And what if she wants 33.5mins? Do I rip her off???

"You had your first baby in a hospital, dear, so you know we have to do certain things because they're hospital policy."
Me: "Yes, and I spent 2 years recovering from PTSD as a result of hospital policy so it doesn't apply to me!"

Oh and they checked my placenta and told me it was entire after I'd eaten rather a lot of it ROFL. I'm glad they weren't there when I gave birth if they're that incompetent


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

: I'm laughing and cringing at the same time reading these. So awful. I've always wondered about how my grandpa "managed" births, as he was an OB back in the dark ages (1930's-50's). I hope he wasn't an sOB, because he was an awfully sweet man.

Quote:

PS - this will be my 2nd child. Perhaps it's criminal to have more than 2?
You didn't know that? Two is the max.







You can only have three if your first two are of the same gender and you want to try for the opposite gender. That's why I'm off the hook for at least one more, since our first two are boys and everybody thinks it's obvious we're "trying for a girl". Of course, we have no intention of stopping there, so I'll be a criminal grand multipara one of these days.


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## Lousli (Nov 4, 2003)

This thread is so long I'm not sure if I already posted these! But I'm not subscribed, so I'll go ahead and add mine.

I have had two preemies, the second one was 7 weeks early. She arrived in December although she was due in February and I had *several* people tell me that she "had to come early so I could get the tax deduction"







: Oh yeah, that's so damn funny.

Another friend of mine (and the only things I can say in her defense here are that she said this probably because she's 1) extremely mainstream and 2) been pregnant 3 times in 5 years and has gone overdue every time) told me, *while my daughter was still in the NICU* "It's good in a way that she came early, because those last two months of pregnancy are really hard." I was completely unable to think of anything to say, but looking back on it it makes me shake with anger that she could possibly think that delivering a 4 pound baby that needs to be in the hospital for 23 days and needed to be tube fed could be easier than be pregnant for 7-8 more weeks.


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## Lousli (Nov 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23*
I can never understand how woman can't go through the pain without meds because my mom sure as heck did!

Umm, this really is a pretty insensitive thing to say, I'm sorry. You really should try to walk a mile in another mama's shoes sometime. I don't know what else to say without being snarky, but I really think there are instances where pain medication is not unreasonable.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lousli*
Another friend of mine (and the only things I can say in her defense here are that she said this probably because she's 1) extremely mainstream and 2) been pregnant 3 times in 5 years and has gone overdue every time) told me, *while my daughter was still in the NICU* "It's good in a way that she came early, because those last two months of pregnancy are really hard." I was completely unable to think of anything to say, but looking back on it it makes me shake with anger that she could possibly think that delivering a 4 pound baby that needs to be in the hospital for 23 days and needed to be tube fed could be easier than be pregnant for 7-8 more weeks.









: Don't you understand that things are supposed to be "easy" if you aren't inconvienced and that you were supposed to just let the people at the hospital take care of your baby?







:


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## terrordactyl (Jul 19, 2006)

i love reading these


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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

ugh... a local doctor recently told a pregnant mom that if she gets miserable that last week to just say so and she'll induce.


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## mamacatsbaby (Jul 27, 2005)

This is one of the many, many truly assinine things people told us throughout PG. My DH and I were talking to the head sOB at the hospital where I birthed our son about a week before I went into labor. He was looking over my birth plan and going point by point, being all fake, condescending and trying to degrade us b/c we wanted to not have all the interventions they were trying to push on us. At one point he said "Do I want your baby to die? Certainly not. But if your baby dies I'm still going to sleep at night." There are no words I tell you.


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## mamacatsbaby (Jul 27, 2005)

Reading through these posts is horrifying. Good grief, people are nuts







: !


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## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

I dont think I have gotten anything super outragious...but I did have a friend who thought I was insane for planning a homebirth. She insisted that she knew "like 4 kids" who were mentally retarded because they were born at home. I told her that I didnt want to risk my baby by having her AT the hospital-that having my first at the hospital was what screwed things up with him. She was the first to ask how my homebirth went when I got back to school (2 days after she was born) and when everyone else was saying how cool it was that I had her at home, she just agreed. Gee, my dd isnt retarded, its amazing!
I have also gotten the whole "you must have easy labors" thing. Right....
My friend was told by her OB that her twins had twin to twin transfusion syndrome (she had an elective cesarean because one twin was smaller than the other on the ultrasound and the babies were too small to handle labor







) but her twins are FRATERNAL-meaning that they couldnt have TTTS. Of course, this is the same doc who told her that he was giving them anesthesia for their circs when he just gave them sugar water. Nice.
I also had a neurologist tell me that I couldnt have a homebirth and that I was going to have complications, she just knew it. This was despite the fact that 3 other neuros said I would be fine and that my condition (I have idiopathic intracranial hypertension) wouldnt hurt me during birth. Or another doc that told me I had a UTI even though the test was negative and I was showing classic symptoms of a miscarriage.
I am sure I could keep coming up with things...lol


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## lizziejackie (Jun 1, 2005)

A doctor, long ago, when my mom was having me:

"We let mom's gain 15lb during pgcy and after 15lb, put them on a Jell-o diet."

My sOB, when faced w/ an unwanted c/s:

"Yawn -- well, let's just get this done now. I have my son's graduation party today and I want to get on that. You can have a c/s, it's all right, we will do everything to support a VBAC w/ your next birth(s)"

YA RIGHT, you will do everything. 18 mo after that he puts in writing his clinic's VBAC rate is right around 10%!


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

I was browsing through our base paper today while ds was playing outside. I cam across this big ad in there advertising a new OB in town and all it says about her is that their main priorities are the mother's COMFORT and CONVENIENCE (and yes those words were capitalized and bolded). Ok, I don't know this OB and I haven't heard anything about her but I would bet my house that she does tons of elective inductions with epidurals...and you know, it's not for her convenience of course, it's for the mother's.


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## Alexander's Mommy (Jun 4, 2005)

Not really about pregnancy or birth, --- or to my face for that matter... but when my son was about 4 months old my dh's grandmother said, loud enough to be overheard, "Are they feeding him yet?"








: Obviously my mother-in-law was a formula baby...


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:

but when my son was about 4 months old my dh's grandmother said, loud enough to be overheard, "Are they feeding him yet?"
Goodness, no, he gets all his nutrition from the air!

Quote:

A doctor, long ago, when my mom was having me:

"We let mom's gain 15lb during pgcy and after 15lb, put them on a Jell-o diet."
My MIL was put on a 1,000 calorie-a-day diet while pregnant with my husband so that she wouldn't gain _any_ weight.

Slightly OT, but it really gets to me how much credit my MIL gives the OBs for Rober's successful entrance into this world, when everything she has told me makes it clear his existence is in spite of them, not because of them. In addition to trying to starve her while she was pregnant, they didn't correctly diagnose her pregnancy, and she came within minutes of accidentally having him aborted! They scheduled her to have a D&C because of not having had her period so long, and it was only because they perforated the uterus of the woman ahead of her and cancelled the day's other appointments that she managed to avoid it.









I guess that goes under outrageous, doesn't it?


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## channelofpeace (Jul 14, 2005)

I have to join in!

I am seeing a high-risk doctor for blood incompatibility. They are monitoring by ultrasound for anemia. The chart, however, doesn't go past 35 wks (although it is a curve and you could intuitively follow where it would go the last 5+ wks). She said we should do an amnio at 36 wks to check for high bili levels (which in my case, something could be wrong and his bili might not be high). He is looking great by the ultrasounds and completely in the no-anemia range and so we said that we didn't want to go to an invasive procedure (and inaccurate) like an amnio if we didn't abosolutely have to. We want keep with the US and chart where the curve would go (which we did with our other son and he was born completely healthy). So she actually said,

"Well, it would be logical to follow where it would intuitively go, but we want more information"







:

Yes, heaven forbid we do do the _logical_ thing


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

I noticed that the posts got more and more shocking stories of the atrocities comitted by medical professionals, but I wanted to add a simple public misconception:
We planned a Lotus Birth (birth without cutting the umbilical cord) and all through my pregnancy (and still today when we tell people about it) the MAJORITY response (even from women who have had babies!!) is "if you dont cut the cord, then the baby will just stay attatched to the mother all that time?" and when we explain that the placenta is born shortly after the baby, they ask "but how will you get the placenta back in again?"







:
Peoples' ignorance astounds me.


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## phoebemommy (Mar 30, 2006)

DH's aunt, a nursery nurse, seems to think I'm about 14 and a twit, and have no idea about what I'm getting into having a baby. She caught me on the phone and was telling me exactly how it was going to be, what I should do, how I was going to feel, what problems I would encounter with a new baby (seemingly ignoring what I said I already knew, felt, etc.). Finally she said, "oh, you like animals, I'm sure you'll do just fine with a baby."

Interestingly enough, most of her sage advice about how to care for a baby struck me as better advice on how to care for a kitten.


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## JenMidwife (Oct 4, 2005)

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## Peppamint (Oct 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl*
In addition to trying to starve her while she was pregnant, they didn't correctly diagnose her pregnancy, and she came within minutes of accidentally having him aborted! They scheduled her to have a D&C because of not having had her period so long, and it was only because they perforated the uterus of the woman ahead of her and cancelled the day's other appointments that she managed to avoid it.









I guess that goes under outrageous, doesn't it?
















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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkydoula*
"Well, it would be logical to follow where it would intuitively go, but we want more information"







:

Did you tell her she can't always have what she wants?


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majikfaerie*
when we explain that the placenta is born shortly after the baby, they ask "but how will you get the placenta back in again?"

My dh suggests, "wait for the placenta to dry out, then fold it neatly and insert it. Once it is in place it will unfold and reattach itself on its own."







Said with a perfectly straight face you could probably get to watch some really great expressions.

How do you *not* know that the placenta comes out? Especially if you've had a baby?


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## Sijae (May 5, 2006)

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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *busybusymomma*







I always joked that I'd have to go overdue to have an 8lb baby... well dd2 was born two weeks ago at 40+6 and she was still only 7lb 6oz. I've have had to go to 42 weeks (or more) to have that 8lb baby.









I was born at 42 weeks and I was only 7lb 6oz


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
My dh suggests, "wait for the placenta to dry out, then fold it neatly and insert it. Once it is in place it will unfold and reattach itself on its own."







Said with a perfectly straight face you could probably get to watch some really great expressions.









:
OMG, i'm gonna say that!

Quote:

How do you *not* know that the placenta comes out? Especially if you've had a baby?
To be honest, I have NO idea!







Admittedly, most people who make this comment haven't had babies, but there have been a few who had!


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phoebemommy*
Interestingly enough, most of her sage advice about how to care for a baby struck me as better advice on how to care for a kitten.

gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "she's having kittens"







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