# missed miscarriage and passing



## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

might be triggering.

please forgive me for not looking in the archives. I am passing the baby as I type and have some questions.

Almost 3 weeks ago we found out via u/s the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. It was a dating scan so we have no idea when the heart stopped.

I was spotting today and went to lay down and felt a pop inside and liquid started coming out. I'm assuming that was the amniotic fluid. I got into the tub (because I wanted to keep whatever passed) and this greyish glob plopped out. I squatted over a large bowl (where I am still at) and some blood, a thin meatish looking thing (placenta?) and blood clots came out.

The blood clots are still coming out. And 'm still cramping.

I want to move to the bed or couch (someplace more comfortable) but don't want to move until I know the baby passed.

I moved the grey glob to a paper plate and it looks like it may have been a baby. But I'm no sure. The mister doesn't want to look. It's been almost 3 weeks since we found out so maybe my body started to reabsorb?

I read through the "what to expect in a miscarriage" sticky and was really hoping for an intact fetus in the amniotic sac.

I'm sorry for sounding so morbid. But I am really just trying to not freak out. The kids are asleep now but I kept fussing at them to get out of the bathroom and our oldest asked dh if I was okay.

i'm blethering now


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

It sounds to me like the baby passed.

I'm so sorry.

-Angela


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

I also had a missed miscarriage at 12 wks of a fetus who had appeared to die around 9 wks. I can tell you, from what I inferred from the ultrasound, it looked as if it had somewhat shrunk after it died, and I would not expect to see the same thing as what one would see during a 9 week miscarriage at 9 weeks, if you know what I mean.


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## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

Yes, thanks all. I am pretty sure the grey blob was the babe. It looked like you could see spine.

And yeah, if I would have passed a few days after the u/s (where I could definitely see the arms,fingers, leg buds) then it would looks like that.

But I think I'm done. I passed some more blood clots and took a shower. It now reminds me of after the birth.

Again, I'm blethering. thanks again.


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## dani76 (Mar 24, 2004)

I'm so sorry.


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## jaclyn7 (Jun 9, 2005)

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.


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## lovbeingamommy (Jun 17, 2007)

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I went through a similar experience a few short weeks ago. I was scared, but confident with what to expect after all of the helpful insights from the mamas at MDC...


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## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bri276* 
I also had a missed miscarriage at 12 wks of a fetus who had appeared to die around 9 wks. I can tell you, from what I inferred from the ultrasound, it looked as if it had somewhat shrunk after it died, and I would not expect to see the same thing as what one would see during a 9 week miscarriage at 9 weeks, if you know what I mean.










This was my experience too. I had a missed m/c at 14.5 weeks and my baby had died around 11 weeks. On the u/s during the app't when we realized she had died, she appeared to have shrunk since the last u/s when I saw her alive and moving.







That image haunts me...

Tsume, I am so sorry that you have lost your little one.


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## joanq (Oct 27, 2005)

I'm so sorry. I hope that it is over for you and you begin to heal.

Take care.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)




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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

my heart breaks for you.
Healing wishes to you... ...


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## jessicasocean (Mar 21, 2008)

I don't have any advice, just support...


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## hopefulmom (Dec 18, 2008)

I just found out today that I have a missed miscarriage. I'm trying to make the decision whether to wait, or go with medicinal. I'm leaning toward medicinal, as I don't think I can take the pressure of waiting for this to happen naturally. I'm 11 weeks today, and the Dr said the baby was measuring at about 9 weeks on the u/s and also detected no heartbeat with the doppler, or with u/s. I'm not considering a d&c as an option until absolutely neccessary.

My question to you all, is with either natural or medicinal miscarraige, what is to be done with the sac and fetus? I'm not really wanting to inspect it, but I do want to be considerate of the fact that my baby was a real person who deserves to be treated respectfully and not to be discarded like trash. I don't wish to have a funeral as I've heard of some women choosing. I'm just not really sure how to go about this. How have you all reacted to seeing it?


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## no5no5 (Feb 4, 2008)

Well, I was needing to repot my (beloved & deceased) great-aunt's jade plant around the time of my miscarriage. So I planned on finding the embryo & planting it in the roots of the jade. We move around a lot and I wanted to be able to bring it with us. But when the time came, DH & I saw something we thought might be the embryo, but it was so small & indistinct that we decided it wasn't, and we flushed it. And nothing else even remotely babyish came out.

I was pretty upset about it when I realized what we had done, but I actually feel okay about it now. The truth is, my baby just wasn't there. My baby didn't exist anymore.









ETA: And a







for you.


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

And never feel bad about asking questions in this forum. That's what we're here for.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

I'm, sorry hun *HUGE hugs* - you did so well. It's so hard, and it wasn't your fault at all - I hope you know that. Sometimes we blame ourselves when these things happen, but there's no need. You're a good mama, and you wanted to catch your baby. I wish you a peaceful day today.







XXXX


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## lil_stinkyfeet (Nov 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hopefulmom* 
I just found out today that I have a missed miscarriage. I'm trying to make the decision whether to wait, or go with medicinal. I'm leaning toward medicinal, as I don't think I can take the pressure of waiting for this to happen naturally. I'm 11 weeks today, and the Dr said the baby was measuring at about 9 weeks on the u/s and also detected no heartbeat with the doppler, or with u/s. I'm not considering a d&c as an option until absolutely neccessary.

My question to you all, is with either natural or medicinal miscarraige, what is to be done with the sac and fetus? I'm not really wanting to inspect it, but I do want to be considerate of the fact that my baby was a real person who deserves to be treated respectfully and not to be discarded like trash. I don't wish to have a funeral as I've heard of some women choosing. I'm just not really sure how to go about this. How have you all reacted to seeing it?

When I passed my baby at 8.5 weeks we placed it in a music box and buried it in our yard. As hard as it was I was really glad that we were able to do that. It meant a lot to us.

HUGS


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## Milkymommi (Aug 29, 2003)

We did the same... had a little candle light vigil in the night with 4 of our closest friends and burried the baby in our garden. I miscarried at 10 1/2 weeks.

This may be a bit graffic for some-

To the OP

When I was miscarrying I had a very similar experience to yours only I passed only the "meaty thing" you described. My best friends at the time were with me and ( this may be waaaay more than anyone wants to know) we actually carefully rinsed it off and gently peeled away the mucus/blood that had formed around it. It was an intact amniotic sac with the most itty bitty baby I've ever seen! Honestly, I was so sad but it was incredible to see that and really helped me to feel that I DID have a baby and she was real. So amazing to see. I'm only telling you incase you may be inclined to try that. I will add though that when the sac broke ( after a bit it did








) the same that you're describing about the grey mass was what the baby looked like. She was no longer identifiable as a fetus ... more like greyish tissue.

:hus I'm so sorry for you mama. Peace, love and light.


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## anastasial (Nov 11, 2008)

Thank you all - reading your posts (though I was lurking and not directly in the conversation) has helped me tremendously.

I find myself in a similar situation - though maybe further along. On 12/19 I went into the emergency room with bad cramping, light bleeding, and uncontrollable vomitting. Two ultrasounds later (in a 20 hour period at the hospital) and no heartbeat, they pronounced it a missed abortion/miscarriage. My heaviest bleeding and cramping happened before the second ultrasound (I actually went home between emergency visits but only lasted 3 hours when the cramping got bad and I still could not eat or drink anything and keep it down).

On 1/6 I went to see a gynocologist and looking at the blood in the cervix (dark, almost black) the doctor said that I had passed the fetus (I was supposed to be 12 weeks, but the ultrasound showed a fetus measuring 8 weeks 3 days). I had been looking very closely at everything I passed and there was only some clots and really just spotting. I haven't bled much - still spotting, and no cramps since the last ultrasound where I saw the fetus, so I'm sure I didn't miss it. I think I reabsorbed it. Which brings me some comfort. The blood test done on the 6th showed a hCG level of 15 - so the midwife suggested I do another ultrasound, the nurse suggested another blood test, and the doctor hasn't gotten back to me. I'm thinking I might just wait and watch my body.

Any thoughts?


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## rachaeljohnson (Jul 11, 2007)

I had a missed miscarriage i found out about at 11.5 weeks (baby died around 9)...at 14 weeks since nothing had happened i had a d&c. The dr. was very gentle and didn't do a lot of scraping to minimize the risk of ashermans (scar tissue forming). 4 days after the d&c, and after no pain and minimal bleeding...i went into labor. Passed about a 6-8inch placenta or placenta attached to tissue (not sure if that is normal-they are testing for partial molar pregnancy as my uterus measured 14 weeks the day of d&c even though baby measured 8w4d) and a little tan perfect baby. We could clearly see a head, eyes, arms, hands, a body, and kind of a tail/nubs for legs...he/she is in my fridge in case the hospital needs to do further testing...if not we will have a burial in the yard...as i can't bear to toss it with the trash. Very heartbreaking to see...but i am glad i got to hold my tiny person.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

thinking of you


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