# Taking Infant Buckets Out Of Car- EDITED FIRST POST, PLEASE READ



## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

Every day I see people carrying their infants in their car seat buckets. I see these car seats in shopping carts, overturned restaurant high chairs, and sitting on the floor. I do. not. understand. this.

Is this common everywhere or just in my geographical area?

Wasn't there just recently a widely publicized study saying that infants should not spend more time than absolutely necessary in bucket seats and that they should never be used outside of the car?

I know that the AAP isn't our collective favorite for parenting advice







but they have come out strongly against buckets in shopping carts: one article here.

I see people flipping restaurant style high chairs upside down and plopping the bucket seat on top of that. Really??? That is so obviously unsafe...

Why not just buy a sling? Ring slings and pouches are quite easy to use.

I just don't get it... it is a CAR seat. Meant to restrain a baby in the CAR.








:

ETA: Okay, I'd like to say here that I am not being judgmental here. I had to go to toys r us the other day and saw 3 different babies in buckets clipped into the toddler seat on the cart even though there was a sign that said not to. All three were screaming bloody murder. THEN while I was still there, I saw a preschooler grab onto their parents cart, while it was holding the baby seat, and the weight FLIPPED THE CART. Traumatizing, much?!?!

I saw the highchair thing flip with a kid in it with the slightest accidental brush from a waitress a month or so ago. It was horrible. AND I had heard a DIFFERENT waitress ask the family to not use the high chair in that way only 5 minutes prior. I wanted to never eat out again.

And every time I go to the WIC office I see babies sitting in buckets SCREAMING their heads off and being completely ignored. This was not a random babywearing plug and me being holier than thou. I am NOT like that. If you use your bucket seat correctly, whatever, I just think that the amount of suffering that I personally see on a daily basis sucks. If your kid is happy than fine but I'm talking about unhappy babies in dangerous situations here. Sorry for the misunderstanding.


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## Giraffe (Feb 13, 2009)

I know what you mean. I've only seen the highchair upside down thing once & was shocked. I cringe when I see them on shopping carts. I have taken it in when the weather was bad or baby was asleep, but he goes in the basket not on top. I've also taken it in restaurants so he has a place to sit part time. I'm a chubby momma so babywearing in a booth doesn't work out so well.

It seems like there are just so mant contraptions to snap a carseat on. There is that SweetPeace thing (aka neglect-o-matic in many cases, used in moderation isn't so bad), swing frames & stroller frames. Some things are fine in moderation, but they are often over used. So many babies go from car to stroller to car to upside down highchair to car to swing thingy. I see it a lot in IN & OH.


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## prettymom (Feb 23, 2007)

We live in the desert, and so I found I took the bucket out of the car a lot in the middle of the summer and middle of the winter. I didn't want to return my baby to a burning hot or freezing cold car seat, and it's not very practical to remove the baby from the seat and carry both inside the store separately. Our sling got a lot of use too, but there were times when the bucket made more sense.


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## greeneyedmama (Mar 5, 2009)

No, it's everywhere. People even ask me why I don't have mine with me, or if they are with me keep asking if I am sure I don't want to bring it with us. I only take it out of the car if she is asleep and really needs to stay that way for a minute.









And as far as studies go, most people don't really care. They are going to do what they've seen and what's 'convenient'. Sad but true.

Oh, and the worst is when I see moms carrying it walking around with the handle on their inner elbow! Oww! How do they do this?!!? And not with just newborns either.
Some even call carseats baby carriers nowadays, btw.


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## KsMum (Nov 1, 2006)

If she was sleeping, and I just needed to get a couple things at the grocery store then absolutely I'll leave her sleeping in there. If I took her out to put in her mei tai or sling then she would *always* wake up and want to nurse.

I wasn't a fan of putting the car seat in the grocery cart seat, but I would put her in the cart itself.

I never woke up my sleeping baby, it was rare enough for her to be asleep when not attached to my boob that I took advantage of any slumber moments I could get!


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

For me a sleeping baby was not disturbed so I carried the bucket in with me all the time to the store, visiting, church etc. But if they where awake I would usually get them out and carry them (I only learned about slings after ds was born) unfortunatly he hated it so never used it.

I have never seen a mama in my area using a sling


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## skolbut (Feb 18, 2008)

Let me preface this by saying that MOST of the time my baby is worn in a wrap or getting held, or playing on the floor/tummy time. I do leave the seat in the car when we go places like church, gym, and music class, and just stick the baby in the wrap.

When running errands, I carry baby in the carseat a lot. If we go somewhere to eat, and I need to set him down for a minute (to wipe ds1's face, help him with something, etc.) I'd rather put him in the seat than on the floor or booth next to me. If he's sleeping I won't wake him up so he'll finish that nap in it, especially if I'm running errands. Most shopping carts only have one seat with a belt, so I'll put the infant seat in the basket and belt my toddler into the seat, so they're both restrained (it freaks me out to see toddlers unrestrained and jumping around in the basket part!). Putting the seat in the crook of my elbow gives me two free hands, one to hold ds1's hand, the other my purse. It hurts but it works to keep them both safe without destroying ds2's sleep patterns and leaving us both cranky, and without having to tailor every single errand around baby's naps.

Yes it is unsafe to flip over a highchair that isn't designed to do so. But some are. We usually get a booth and put the carrier in next to us.


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

For DS's first 3 1/2 months I took the bucket in and out of the car. It was cold and it was just easier. But he never spent more time than necessary in it. The kid wouldn't allow it.







He demanded to be held and nursed all the time.









We didn't even have a bucket for DD. She was carried *everywhere*.

It's really not safe to have it on top of the grocery cart. It says so right in the manual. I imagine an overturned high chair wouldn't be safe either. I think the manual says not to set it on a raised surface. People just see everyone else doing it and assumes it's just what you are *supposed* to do.

All you can do is educate.


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

I rarely carried the bucket in anywhere when ds1 was little. By the time we were really running around it was nice out and it was easy to put him in the ring sling and carry him that way and I loved having him close to me.
I wear ds2 often too but it is really







: and has been for much of his young life since he was born in Sept. I wear him ANY time I can but standing out in the cold trying to get him in the sling while the cold wind(Monday was a -4 wind chill) whips through the open van door freezing us all just doesn't make sense. Plus one of the saddest things to me is that "I can't breathe" thing babies do when it's really windy. He does much better if I put a blanket over the bucket and put him in the back of the cart. Then put him in the carrier if I need to after I am in the store. For quick trips though I leave him in there. Because it's too much to have the bucket, ds and ds2 in the carrier







:
I do agree that most people don't know about babywearing and we should try to educate them because bwing is so convenient. But I think buckets can be useful - pain in the butt to carry but useful in moderation.


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
I see people flipping restaurant style high chairs upside down and plopping the bucket seat on top of that. Really??? That is so obviously unsafe...

Some of them are made to be flipped - I don't know if it works with all of them but some of them are made to be used as a high chair one way and a bucket holder the other way.

Reasons to leave the baby in the bucket - baby is sleeping... mom wants to eat a meal with hands/lap free (nothing wrong with this!!!)... mom doesn't like wearing baby... baby doesn't like being worn ... baby is happy where he/she is and picking him/her up is liable to start a cycle of cry/comfort/put down/cry/comfort/put down which doesn't go over well in a restaurant...

Baby wearing is not always mutually enjoyable for mom and baby, and having the baby in a car seat/carrier/bucket does not make an inferior parent. As long as everyone is happy and the baby isn't screaming and being ignored - hang the "experts."


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I agree it totally depends on the baby and situation.

DD (now 2-1/2) HATED the bucket seat. So much so that we ditched it when she was 3 months old and went with a convertible (which she still hated and screamed most of her first year in the car no matter how short the trip







). She never fell asleep in the car as a baby...so she was always in a carrier when we went out and about to shop or eat or whatever.

DS (now 5) was happy in the seat, and would fall asleep sometimes...and I'd be damned if I was gonna wake a sleeping baby (because he did NOT transfer well and would wake up)...so if he was sleeping, I'd leave him in. Or if he was happily playing and it was a quick errand, I'd leave him in. Or, yeah, if we were going out to eat and I wanted both hands free, and it was before he was sitting well on his own so we couldn't put him in a highchair at the table...yep, I'd leave him in (we go out to eat like once every few months, at most) for as long as he was happy so that I didn't have to eat one handed, or play pass the baby the whole meal and eat in shifts. It didn't scar him, and didn't harm our attachment. He's about as happy and outgoing and social as they come, and definitely attached to me. Sometimes he was in the bucket, sometimes he was in a carrier. He was happy either way.

IMO there's a huge difference between leaving a kid in a car seat every day for hours on end and not interacting with them, and using it on occasion when it makes more sense than bringing the baby out, IF the baby is content to be in the seat and you're still interacting with them. I fondly remember many a conversation with DS in his bucket in the top of a shopping cart while walking through the grocery store or target (in both carts, the locking mechanism would latch onto the cart, I wonder why all carts don't do that?) - I'm short, so we were pretty much eye to eye and would just chat the whole time (OK, I would chat, and he would stare at me, and people would give me weird looks for having an ongoing conversation with a baby - but whatever.







).

I am a carrier and babywearing lover, but don't find the occasional use of a bucket offensive. In fact, there were times I wished DD would just stay in the flipping seat for me for 15 minutes instead of having to get her out of it and wear her for a brief shopping trip. There, I said it. You can have my membership card now.







:









This is another one of those instances where IMO it's the *over*use/misuse (misuse IMO being the parent not interacting with the baby while in the bucket) of the gadget being problematic, not the container itself.


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## Ackray (Feb 11, 2004)

My kids all loved their bucket seats when they were babies. They also love/loved strollers. Carrying a baby everywhere doesn't work for me. This may sound main stream to you, but it's good for babies to be able to be put down once in a while. Sitting in a restaurant trying to eat, going to the bathroom, doing laundry, helping my other kids, riding a bike with a baby attached to me. No thank you. Thanks for judging though.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Ugh, i do this!!! Somebody help me out. It's winter here in Jersey, there's snow on the ground, it's cold as hell. I've got a giant winter coat on, DD is in her carseat in normal clothes and a Bundle Me. I have a 2 door car. Am I supposed to take the carseat out, set it on the ground, take her out of it in the freezing cold and finagle her into the moby?

9 times out of 10 she's sound asleep in the carseat. It's so much easier to just carry the bucket and put it in the shopping cart, run my errands and then go back home. The whole taking her out in the cold thing has really got me concerned. Even if I have the moby on and get her in it successfully, it's hard to get her back out and I'd hate to have to do that in the cold as well! For her sake as well as for mine.

Maybe some pro babywearers can help me out? Would it be terrible to just get her into the store or wherever we're going in the bucket and then wear her around the store? I mean, that way I can get her back in the seat while inside. That might work... what do you guys DO??? TIA!!


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes* 
Maybe some pro babywearers can help me out? Would it be terrible to just get her into the store or wherever we're going in the bucket and then wear her around the store? I mean, that way I can get her back in the seat while inside. That might work... what do you guys DO??? TIA!!

That is what I do on the really cold days. I park near the carts put him in back and load ds1 in the front. Then if we are going to be in there a while I put him in the carrier in the store. But if it's a quick trip I don't feel bad about not wearing him.


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
I see people flipping restaurant style high chairs upside down and plopping the bucket seat on top of that. Really??? That is so obviously unsafe...

Why not just buy a sling? Ring slings and pouches are quite easy to use.

I just don't get it... it is a CAR seat. Meant to restrain a baby in the CAR.








:

Uh, most of the flipped restaraunt high chairs I have seen are made to be upside down for a bucket. I just don't get the outrage on that.

Regarding the sling. Its pouring down rain or freezing cold with 30mph winds. I am not going to stand there at the car with the door open and get the baby out of her seat and in a sling. I am going to throw a blanket over the baby and cover her up and get her out. Seat and all.


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ackray* 
My kids all loved their bucket seats when they were babies. They also love/loved strollers. Carrying a baby everywhere doesn't work for me. This may sound main stream to you, but it's good for babies to be able to be put down once in a while. Sitting in a restaurant trying to eat, going to the bathroom, doing laundry, helping my other kids, riding a bike with a baby attached to me. No thank you. Thanks for judging though.









I have a bad back and my DD2 weighs over 18 pounds. Not to mention I sometimes have to carry DD1 because she tires out.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes* 
Maybe some pro babywearers can help me out? Would it be terrible to just get her into the store or wherever we're going in the bucket and then wear her around the store? I mean, that way I can get her back in the seat while inside. That might work... what do you guys DO??? TIA!!


OK, so I replied above, my daughter HATED the bucket and regular car seat, so I wore her everywhere. I wouldn't take the bucket out of the car, I'd just leave it hooked in and have your carrier all ready, and pop baby in. Yeah the seat might be cold for a couple minutes when you put baby back in, but it's not like the kiddo won't have on warm clothes and you'll be turning the heat on in the car. I bought myself a 2XL fleece zip up jacket to wear over *both* of us once I got her into the carrier to walk to the store, or back to the car.

So there you go, that's how I did it in all weather. When she was old wnough to ride on my back, I'd put her in front for the quick walk to the store, then get her hat and coat off and switch her to my back for the store part - took less than a minute.


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## RedPony (May 24, 2005)

Baby Cakes, my baby was a bit bigger than yours by the time winter rolled around, but I slung her everywhere we went, even in the cold. I don't know, it just worked for us. No tricks involved, I just took her out, nursed her if needed there in the car, tucked her in the sling, and went about my business. It was just as easy to me as bringing in the bucket would have been (only easier because I had two free hands and nothing that heavey to carry!).

I never took the infant seat out of the car once, sleeping baby or no. I wanted DD close to me, all the time. If I woke her up and she wanted to nurse, we nursed.







I never, ever had anybody question me, maybe I was lucky that way?







Friend after friend used the bucket, I used my sling, no problem.

FWIW, I don't care if someone else wants to use the bucket from time to time with their child. I might not understand it, but I only have control over me







. I knew how I felt about it, and I knew what I wanted DD to experience, so that's what we did!


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## Nautical (Mar 4, 2008)

We carry dd in her carseat whenever there is ice on the ground. I don't want to risk slipping on the ice while wearing her. If we slip while carrying the seat, then even if it falls, she is still strapped in.







:


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Kind of OT but relevant. My personal experience has been that the longer I am a mother the more often I have found that I eat crow. So I think lots of times it's beneficial to tread lightly in the area of judement. There are obviously things that all of us do because we think they are best for our babes but just because someone else doesn't do them exactly the same way doesn't mean they love their children any less. And making infrences to such are ridiculous. It would have been really easy for me to judge when ds1 was little and it was summer and I had ONE. Now I am trying to juggle the care and safety of two and I often make different choices. I am not going to freeze my toddler to death because I am trying to get my infant in the carrier.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
Some of them are made to be flipped - I don't know if it works with all of them but some of them are made to be used as a high chair one way and a bucket holder the other way.

Reasons to leave the baby in the bucket - baby is sleeping... mom wants to eat a meal with hands/lap free (nothing wrong with this!!!)... mom doesn't like wearing baby... baby doesn't like being worn ... baby is happy where he/she is and picking him/her up is liable to start a cycle of cry/comfort/put down/cry/comfort/put down which doesn't go over well in a restaurant...

Baby wearing is not always mutually enjoyable for mom and baby, and having the baby in a car seat/carrier/bucket does not make an inferior parent. As long as everyone is happy and the baby isn't screaming and being ignored - hang the "experts."









Yes!! You said it much kinder than I would have.


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## sahmama_12 (May 25, 2008)

I could never leave my boys in the bucket seat, I only used it for ease of switching cars. They would and will to this day only tolerate being in a carseat in a car that is in motion. Yes I have the children who cry at red lights.

I have two problems with carrying the seat around and that is that most times the ones I see the babies are not secured properly with the harness loose b/c proper harnesses look too tight (my MIL is always complaining our boys are strapped in too tight, I always explain that the harness is their seatbelt and seatbelts do not help if they are loose) and number two most women I see don't use the strollers set up for these seats and are carrying about 8-10lbs of carseat plus 8-10lbs (at least) of baby. Its not good for your body.

I know about the risks of sleeping in the seats but have to wonder what if they sleep in the car? Are you supposed to stop and wake them up? How does that work? Sometimes safety guidelines are not followed because they are not convient or reasonable to people.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

While I don't put the bucket seat in a shopping cart, because I can't see around it, they are very convenient as portable baby seats. Not everyone is comfortable wearing a baby while jammed into a narrow restaurant booth.


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
Some of them are made to be flipped - I don't know if it works with all of them but some of them are made to be used as a high chair one way and a bucket holder the other way.

Reasons to leave the baby in the bucket - baby is sleeping... mom wants to eat a meal with hands/lap free (nothing wrong with this!!!)... mom doesn't like wearing baby... baby doesn't like being worn ... baby is happy where he/she is and picking him/her up is liable to start a cycle of cry/comfort/put down/cry/comfort/put down which doesn't go over well in a restaurant...

Baby wearing is not always mutually enjoyable for mom and baby, and having the baby in a car seat/carrier/bucket does not make an inferior parent. As long as everyone is happy and the baby isn't screaming and being ignored - hang the "experts."










I agree. Can't make general rules about all parenting styles. I mostly wore DD when she was younger but we also took the bucket seat with us because DD would be happier in there sometimes.
I do not think that bucket seats when used correctly are a safety hazard whatsoever.


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## Slabobbin (Jan 29, 2004)

Personally, I have never been able to eat while holding a baby without most of the food ending up on the baby. Right there is my reason for taking the bucket seat into restaurants.

Now don't get me wrong - I hate it when I see a baby come in, strapped in the seat, plopped down and ignored the entire meal, having a paci shoved in its mouth if it protests and then taken back out to the car still strapped in...after an hour and a half dinner.

We didn't do that though. We brought the seat in, took the baby out and held it, nursed it, etc. until the meal came and then baby sat in seat while we ate. We would usually pick baby back up, take it for a diaper change, offer another nursing, etc. before buckling baby back in. It was no more than a high chair for a baby who was too little to sit up in a high chair.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Interesting. I wonder if it's just a cultural thing then? B/c I view bucket seats as normal and frankly one of the best things since sliced bread.

DD was born in November so I kept her in the bucket seat when moving from the car to where ever we are going. As bad as you think it is to see a kid in a bucket seat...well, that's how I bad I think it is to see a newborn "gagging" because cold air/snow/rain is blowing in his or her face. Actually, I think it's a lot worse.

Sometime last month, my mommy instinct wore off on the issue of DD being exposed to cold air. Could be that it just warmed up a bit, could be that she seemed "older" to me. Whatever the case, I started taking her out and slinging her or using her shopping cart cover thingie.

But if she falls asleep during the car ride, you bet your bottom booty that I'm hauling her around in the bucket seat. We have a rule in our house: die before waking the baby.









It's totally your choice. If you think it's great to pull a sleeping baby out of a warm car, expose him or her to the cold air, put them in a sling (mind you, my DD HATES the sling and is terrified of being restricted) then haul the babe around the store for the 20 minutes it takes to shop or get groceries, then repeat in reverse order....good for you. I don't know why it has to be hard to make someone feel as if they are being an awesome mom.







I'll take easy any day.


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## reezley (May 27, 2006)

Yes, I used to use the bucket seat out of the car - and enjoyed the few minutes of sleeping baby quietude and being hands-free in the store. If I ventured into a store or cafe with the baby in the bucket it was *because* he was sleeping. It was a special thing - not an everyday thing. And when he woke up he wouldn't tolerate being in the seat very long anyway, so I'd bring along the carrier and transfer him to it. As for restaurants - we did the flipped-highchair thing and also put the bucket right on the table, with ds1, and dh and I enjoyed the few amazing moments when he was happy just chilling out sitting and looking around! We did that about, oh, twice? We opted for convenience since it was not our routine, it was a special treat to have a meal out. Pretty sure that didn't damage him. Yes, the seat was on a "raised surface" being on the table - but with us sitting right there eating, we weren't worried that the seat would suddenly jump off the table!

And another thing is that baby in a bucket for 5 minutes driving + 10 minutes in the store is the same as 15 minutes driving and the sling in the store. You don't know how long someone else's baby has been in the bucket when you see them out in the store. It's good to understand that you shouldn't use the bucket all day every day - but you have to be practical about it and use your best judgment. Like for most things.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The4OfUs* 
I agree it totally depends on the baby and situation.

(snip)

This is another one of those instances where IMO it's the *over*use/misuse (misuse IMO being the parent not interacting with the baby while in the bucket) of the gadget being problematic, not the container itself.

Totally that!!

Ds liked to be held almost all the time. In the beginning, there was maybe 15 minutes a day that he would tolerate not being held- and those 15 minutes were in the carseat out in a public place like a restaurant or grocery store (not in the car- he cried when in the seat in the car). I figured if he was happy in it, and it certainly didn't interfere with him getting plenty of holding time, it was all good








There was *definitely* no fear of us getting complacent and just letting him sit for hours in the car seat! He made SURE of that! And anyway, after 15 minutes or so, I missed holding him and would have picked him up regardless.

At that point, I didn't know about car seats interfering with airways. But I'm sure that I would still be ok with 15 minutes so I could have a tiny break.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DevaMajka* 
At that point, I didn't know about car seats interfering with airways. But I'm sure that I would still be ok with 15 minutes so I could have a tiny break.

I have heard about this problem a lot IRL and online. I can't figure it out. Even when DD was brand spanking new, her neck was aligned properly and she was breathing fine.

Does it have to do with the brand/style of the seat? The incline due to the brand of the car? Chemicals in the padding/cover?

Maybe the newborn needs chiropractic care?

DH was thinking DD didn't have a problem b/c she was 11lbs at birth.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Ella's in hers more than I'm happy with b/c it's been so darn cold here. I carry her in in the bucket and 90% of the time she's passed out so i just leave her in. if you undo the straps she wakes up. She's a weird kid







. If she's awake or it's a warm out though she's out of there. She loves sitting in our laps at restaurants and playing with straws a napkins. I never get the people who leave a wide awake baby in the bucket at a restaurant the whole time. DH and I have mastered the art of eating with one hand and baby passing.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 
But if she falls asleep during the car ride, you bet your bottom booty that I'm hauling her around in the bucket seat. We have a rule in our house: die before waking the baby.










I see we went to the same school of parenting!







I used to tell ppl, "You wake her, you take her. She's breastfed." I also said, frequently, "If you wake my very intense and high needs baby, it is justifiable homicide!"







My goodness, if she fell asleep in the car, you can bet your life that I kept that child in the carseat.


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## soxthecatrules (Oct 20, 2008)

I guess if I had started babywearing when DS was first born 2 1/2 years ago I would have seen the convenience of it. I would have become used to it. But, I didn't. Also, I will not judge mothers on either side of the issue.

Personally, I don't find wearing a sling in the least bit convenient 75% of the time. Now I will probably wear DD more now that we no longer have windchill in the teens or even negatives. Sometimes I will see small babies in a sling. But, you will NEVER see a toddler in any kind of carrier (ERGO, Mei Tai, etc.) in our area. Strollers are used extensively around here. Now, I have spoke w/other young mothers who will use slings around the house. But, not so much so in public. That's pretty much what I do. Sometimes DD is a bit fussy and I need to get stuff done so I wear her. All is well and she is happy.

Also, DD takes her best naps in the bucket. I check on her every few minutes and make sure she's okay. I see no harm in this.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
Ella's in hers more than I'm happy with b/c it's been so darn cold here. I carry her in in the bucket and 90% of the time she's passed out so i just leave her in. if you undo the straps she wakes up. She's a weird kid







. If she's awake or it's a warm out though she's out of there. She loves sitting in our laps at restaurants and playing with straws a napkins. I never get the people who leave a wide awake baby in the bucket at a restaurant the whole time. DH and I have mastered the art of eating with one hand and baby passing.

How old is she? I found it's not too bad until they get a little older (10 mos and up) and are reaching for the salt shaker, the sugar caddy, my cup, dh's cup, the older sibs cups, yanking straws out of those cups, winging wet straws around, wielding forks as though he is on a mission to slay the lettuce in my salad, feeding us animal crackers (how sweet! he wants to share) that he just dipped in the salsa (gag), and popping his head over the booths behind us and yelling, "AAAHHH!" (The folks in both booths laughed!







)

That all happened last night, ds2 is 16 mos old, and it was actually really relaxed and calm!







He gets frustrated being contained these days. One-hand eating is a necessity if we're nursing (not too bad then because he's busy) or if ds just wants to be held, but it was MUCH easier when he was younger, even if we did spill food on his head. Often.







:


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

I did my share of both with older dd. She was born in November, so from the cold outside standpoint, I often took the bucket in to the grocery store, or a quick errand. But I usually used the sling for everything else. Restaurants, it depended, if it was cold outside then bucket in and the sling once I was seated, until she could sit in a highchair. She would usually nurse though my dinner and I could still use two hands once getting her positioned.

I do hate seeing older babies, ones that can obviously sit up becuase they are straining against the shoulder straps unhappy with the incline, strapped in at the grocery or restaurant. I feel like screaming sit the kid in the cart or the highchair and let them be engaged inthe meal/trip


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I added some clarification to my first post as many seemed to think that this was an attack, which it wasn't. I see very unhappy babies strapped into car seats in unsafe situations all the time in my area. It is horrible and makes me not want to go anywhere that I might encounter a baby sometimes.


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ryansma* 
Kind of OT but relevant. My personal experience has been that the longer I am a mother the more often I have found that I eat crow.

I have learned to accept, enjoy, and even anticipate crow.







:


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
. If your kid is happy than fine but I'm talking about unhappy babies in dangerous situations here. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

it's a parenting issue, not a bucket seat issue.


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
Every day I see people carrying their infants in their car seat buckets. I see these car seats in shopping carts, overturned restaurant high chairs, and sitting on the floor. I do. not. understand. this.

Is this common everywhere or just in my geographical area?

Wasn't there just recently a widely publicized study saying that infants should not spend more time than absolutely necessary in bucket seats and that they should never be used outside of the car?

I know that the AAP isn't our collective favorite for parenting advice







but they have come out strongly against buckets in shopping carts: one article here.

I see people flipping restaurant style high chairs upside down and plopping the bucket seat on top of that. Really??? That is so obviously unsafe...

*Why not just buy a sling? Ring slings and pouches are quite easy to use.

I just don't get it... it is a CAR seat. Meant to restrain a baby in the CAR.








:*

ETA: Okay, I'd like to say here that I am not being judgmental here. I had to go to toys r us the other day and saw 3 different babies in buckets clipped into the toddler seat on the cart even though there was a sign that said not to. All three were screaming bloody murder. THEN while I was still there, I saw a preschooler grab onto their parents cart, while it was holding the baby seat, and the weight FLIPPED THE CART. Traumatizing, much?!?!

I saw the highchair thing flip with a kid in it with the slightest accidental brush from a waitress a month or so ago. It was horrible. AND I had heard a DIFFERENT waitress ask the family to not use the high chair in that way only 5 minutes prior. I wanted to never eat out again.

And every time I go to the WIC office I see babies sitting in buckets SCREAMING their heads off and being completely ignored. This was not a random babywearing plug and me being holier than thou. I am NOT like that. If you use your bucket seat correctly, whatever, I just think that the amount of suffering that I personally see on a daily basis sucks. If your kid is happy than fine but I'm talking about unhappy babies in dangerous situations here. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

The bolded part is what IMO was taken as judgemental. It's true that some people simply don't know about slings while others choose not to use them for many of the reasons listed here. The examples you stated -small baby in toddler seat at BRUS, and using a highchair NOT intended for carseats are more about careless parents. The WIC office story just makes me sad. Hopefully those mothers DO respond to their babies and you are only seeing them at a bad time. You could always offer to amuse baby for a second or show them your sling.
It IS sad to see unahappy babies.


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RunnerDuck* 
I have learned to accept, enjoy, and even anticipate crow.







:

LOL Yes! It just happens more and more frequently and I find myself replaying things I have said in the past "My child would never color all over himself with marker! How hard is it to watch your own child?" and laughing out loud.
Good times.







:


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ryansma* 
LOL Yes! It just happens more and more frequently and I find myself replaying things I have said in the past "My child would never color all over himself with marker! How hard is it to watch your own child." and laughing out loud.
Good times.







:

LMAO!! awesome!


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

For the first time ever, I carried my son into a store last week in his bucket seat. It was pouring rain and I just had to run in for a second. I really didn't want to get soaked taking him out of his seat and putting him in the Ergo just so I could run into the store to get one item really quick. So I closed the bonnet thing and grabbed the seat and quickly got inside. I sat him on the floor next to me while I picked out what I needed. And you know what? All I could think about the whole time was that some MDC mama would see me and think what a horrible mother I was and wonder why I didn't use a sling and worry that my poor baby spent most of his life in baby containers.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
THEN while I was still there, I saw a preschooler grab onto their parents cart, while it was holding the baby seat, and the weight FLIPPED THE CART. Traumatizing, much?!?!









: GASP! That is SO scary. My God. (Not being snarky! Sincere!)


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

The one time I've taken my baby in the bucket into the store was the day he was discharged from the hospital after being admitted for 3 days with cellulitis. I just needed to get his meds from the pharmacy and it was cold and windy and rainy outside. I put the seat inside the basket of the cart, not where most people put it. But if it's not extenuating circumstances I will always sling or carry the baby everywhere.


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## skolbut (Feb 18, 2008)

OP.... I totally agree with you. While I am a bucket user (albeit not for long.... my ds1 was out of his at 5 mos and I think ds2 is close) I see lots of abuse of them.

For instance... when we go to church, we carry the seat into church then leave it in the cloak room and sling/wrap/hold during the service. I've seen at least 3 other buckets with awake babes right there in the pews, even one mama who bf's during the service then puts her ds right back into the bucket. It bothers me because really church is for reconnection, listening, singing, etc. all of which can be done with no or one hand. I can even hand babe over to go sing with the choir and come back, no bucket necessary. I've never heard of a church where NOBODY will hold a baby when asked (maybe this is different in other cultures or religions? I'm a Lutheran... we can't get enough of babies).

Again, some high chairs are not meant to be flipped. Another situation where we put bucket next to us, hold babe (like other pp's mentioned), change/feed babe, put back in seat to travel to car. I love not having to fuss with the sling/wrap/snowsuit/layers/etc. issue... just blankets over baby and a hat on and in you go! No worries about clothes causing compression issues with belts either.

WIC... so sad where we are... took both my LO's in for the first time and the nurse wanted me to put baby down so she could weigh me, but there was nowhere safe (and it was a nice day so I left the bucket in the car) so I suggested she hold him while I stepped on the scale and she looked taken aback. I asked what they usually do in that situation and she said that everyone uses the carseat carrier so they've never worried about it. Now our WIC office is in the middle of a huge building in the middle of a big complex of buildings and I'm not about to lug that stupid seat or the double stroller (if ds2 gets strolled ds1 wants to be, too) through that whole place.

I do see lots of precariously perched seats and had my own scare with an overzealous toddler, too. I think the key is more education out there... starting with places like WIC and PSA's to let people know it is NOT safe to perch buckets on shopping carts and highchairs not designed for that.

A bigger concern to me is the LARGE number of babies I see in obviously expired seats or ones that are clearly no longer within current safety guidelines, not strapped in tight enough, riding around with handles up if seat is not designed for that, babies that are too big for their bucket still in them, items like swing frames to click the seat into so when you get home your baby can just stay in the seat forever...

ETA: As a PP mentioned, in icy/snowy/wet weather I always make sure baby is safely belted in carseat to get to and from the car. I had a hard fall on concrete (causing an ER visit and am still healing) about a month ago and can only imagine what would have happened if the baby was in my arms or wrapped to me. He was in the carseat, landed safely face up on the ground and was completely unfazed.


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

That's the only way I've seen moms carry their babies here. Once in a blue moon, you'll see a baby being held, or even more rarely, you'll see a sling or wrap... But usually its a bucket on the cart, on the stroller, on the upturned high chair (I'm a server, I see this EVERY single day).


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## labdogs42 (Jan 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
I added some clarification to my first post as many seemed to think that this was an attack, which it wasn't. I see very unhappy babies strapped into car seats in unsafe situations all the time in my area. It is horrible and makes me not want to go anywhere that I might encounter a baby sometimes.


Well, yeah, there's a big difference between a happily sleeping baby or happily awake baby in a bucket and a wailing baby in a bucket. Sadly, the people who leave their wailing baby in the bucket seat are probably not going to be a real GD type parent when the baby is out of the bucket either. So, the issue really isn't the bucket seat.









I took my DS lots of places in his bucket for the first four months of his life, then he outgrew it! I used the highchairs that are designed to hold the bucket in restaurants, I put his bucket in the grocery cart occasionally, I used it as a baby seat at people's homes. It worked great! Of course, if he was ever Un happy in the seat, I took him out and fed him, held him, etc. My DS happened to really like his infant carrier and if he wanted to stay in there, I let him!


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skolbut* 
For instance... when we go to church, we carry the seat into church then leave it in the cloak room and sling/wrap/hold during the service. I've seen at least 3 other buckets with awake babes right there in the pews, even one mama who bf's during the service then puts her ds right back into the bucket. It bothers me because really church is for reconnection, listening, singing, etc. all of which can be done with no or one hand. I can even hand babe over to go sing with the choir and come back, no bucket necessary. I've never heard of a church where NOBODY will hold a baby when asked (maybe this is different in other cultures or religions? I'm a Lutheran... we can't get enough of babies).

I am a babywearer. I love it. But I also have used the bucket in other situations outside of the car.
I keep coming back to this part of your post because obviously there are many times when a bucket is overused. But how do you know that that mama at church does not hold her child ALL week long and that for her to get what she needs from the service it is better for HER to put him down? We can't and don't know what people do the other 99% of the time. Yes, we have a society that overuses lots of things but can we all just give each other a break already. Threads like this are why riverscout (and I have been there too) were saying that on the one day you do something *gasp horrible* like not slinging your baby - you feel a little ashamed. It's just ridiculous.


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## melijack1 (Nov 18, 2008)

We live on the North Dakota/Minnesota border. My son was born in September. Therefore he spent his infant months in the frozen tundra, where it is totally normal to have days with wey below zero wind chills, where one can hardly breathe. Rarely did I bring him out, only when absolutely necessary. When I did, I carried the bucket inside wherever I was going, because it was quite simply too cold to take him out. I didn't have him in a heavy snowsuit, due to car seat safety recommendations, so the car seat, with blankets over him was the fastest and WARMEST way to get him inside XYZ location. Once inside, if he was sleeping, we let the sleeping baby sleep where he was. If he was awake, well, he had a mommy, daddy or big sister just aching to hold him as much as they could, so he was often taken out. Never EVER did I just leave my baby to cry in the bucket. Most of the time if he was awake and in the bucket, his sister would walk alongside the cart and talk to him.


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## amlikam (Nov 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skolbut* 
so I suggested she hold him while I stepped on the scale and she looked taken aback. I asked what they usually do in that situation and she said that everyone uses the carseat carrier so they've never worried about it.

A bigger concern to me is the LARGE number of babies I see in obviously expired seats or ones that are clearly no longer within current safety guidelines, not strapped in tight enough, riding around with handles up if seat is not designed for that, babies that are too big for their bucket still in them, items like swing frames to click the seat into so when you get home your baby can just stay in the seat forever...

ETA: As a PP mentioned, in icy/snowy/wet weather I always make sure baby is safely belted in carseat to get to and from the car. I had a hard fall on concrete (causing an ER visit and am still healing) about a month ago and can only imagine what would have happened if the baby was in my arms or wrapped to me. He was in the carseat, landed safely face up on the ground and was completely unfazed.

The scary part is the lady at WIC probably really meant the word _everyone_....

I had the same issue at my PP follow-up... the nurse cam in and said her is a blankets so you can put the baby down (on the floor- okay not a huge deal but....) I was like oh- I guess I could do that. Then the midwife came into the room and was like, "no, just put her on your belly" as though I had thought I needed to leave baby on the floor- when really her staff recommended it.....

and yeah to the rest of that ;-)

I mean I don't use the bucket anymore- we got our Truefit a few weeks ago- however we would take it out and bring it with us from time to time... But to be honest- I just love holding my DD and being a WOHM- I don't have nearly enough time to hold her! So she never ends up in the seat long ....


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Justthatgirl* 
How old is she? I found it's not too bad until they get a little older (10 mos and up) and are reaching for the salt shaker, the sugar caddy, my cup, dh's cup, the older sibs cups, yanking straws out of those cups, winging wet straws around, wielding forks as though he is on a mission to slay the lettuce in my salad, feeding us animal crackers (how sweet! he wants to share) that he just dipped in the salsa (gag), and popping his head over the booths behind us and yelling, "AAAHHH!" (The folks in both booths laughed!







)

She's almost 5 months. She's already at the point where if we don't watch her like a hawk she grabs butter knives and tries to poke my husband's eyes out. She did that Tuesday while I was yelling at DH that no she cannot hold hold a knife, even if he doesn't' understand why. Now he understands


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
She's almost 5 months. She's already at the point where if we don't watch her like a hawk she grabs butter knives and tries to poke my husband's eyes out. She did that Tuesday while I was yelling at DH that no she cannot hold hold a knife, even if he doesn't' understand why. Now he understands


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## RunnerDuck (Sep 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amlikam* 
The scary part is the lady at WIC probably really meant the word _everyone_....

So... I don't understand why this is "scary" ... Taking a baby somewhere where you know it is going to be easiest for everyone involved for you to have a means of being baby-free even for a brief time, it seems completely logical to me to take the bucket. If your baby isn't in a bucket, then a stroller.

*Personally* I don't want to rely on others to help with my baby. It's not that I care if others hold one from a germs or whatever standpoint... I just don't like to impose. I don't automatically assume that everyone loves babies, not even my babies, which happen to be really, really, really fat and squeezable.









I have a twin stroller, but it's kind of like a winnebego (it's the Inglesina twin domino - it's seriously HUGE). It's also a pain to get in and out of the car. So in crappy weather especially I tend to wear one baby and stick the other in a single stroller (which is way easier to get in and out of the car) I have on occasion worn one and carried the other in the interest of time - running late for a pedi appt. for example - and that was a HUGE mistake. I had to have a nurse come in just to help hold babies - and while she was happy enough to do so, I could tell the nurse who had her come in thought I was being a total pain in the ass. I have an annual gyn. appt. coming up and I need to get a side by side stroller for that since no way can my front-to-back work in a doctor's office and wearing one ain't going to cut it for a pap smear. Just does not seem like a good idea.

I'm not sure why having the bucket at WIC - if you know you're going to get weighed - is "scary." Yeah, some of those women, maybe they neglect their babies. But a lot of them, they're probably just using common sense.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
Why not just buy a sling? Ring slings and pouches are quite easy to use.

I just don't get it... it is a CAR seat. Meant to restrain a baby in the CAR.








:



When you have more than one child, you may find that in certain situations, having a secure place for your sleeping baby, while you attend to another child, is very helpful.

I have MANY slings and other baby carriers.
And while on MOST occasions I carried my baby in one of the slings, there were some times when it was more convenient to bring him in his carseat. Like when DS was sleeping, and I needed to take DD somewhere, and I didn't want to wake him.

And DD, who NEVER slept, and would NEVER be put down, the bucket carrier was one of the ONLY places I could GET her to sleep - by boucning it up & down while doing sqats while the dryer was on & loud music & shower was running. So in my experience ... the carrier has some great uses outside of the car.

Now, an awake child, yes, I would say almost without fail, I'd bring my children out of the car in a sling or carrier of some kind. Because I'd end up taking them out of the carseat in the store anyhow - neither of them liked to be in the carseat.

And also both of my children outgrew their bucket carrier by the time they were 4 months (very tall)... but there were definitely times when I missed having it - particularly the sleeping thing. It was really convenient to put the baby over one arm, carrying groceries, and toddler in my other hip, while I came in from the car - all in one trip. We live in a condo, so don't have a nice secure driveway or garage - have to cross a parking lot. So having everyone in one trip, without waking the baby, was helpful.

Really, your post is pretty harsh, particularly coming from a place of one child. But even with one child, can you not ever see the usefulness of a baby carrier with a handle in certain circumstances? Also, regarding the screaming babies in the stores. Yes, if an infant is screaming in a seat, and blatently being ignored, that's one thing. But if an infant is in a seat, and mom has her hands full with another child, groceries, trying to get jackets on, or running after a todder, maybe baby can't be attended to just then. Or SOMETIMES babies just scream. Not necessarily because they've been in a bucket seat all day but because they scream. They would scream in an ergo, a sling, in arms. My daughter spent MOST of her first year SCREAMING. She was colicky until around 10 months, and fussy for months thereafter. She's always been high needs, and screamed most of the time she was awake. Whether we were singing, bouncing, moving, standing still, talking, or crying along. So sometimes, we still had to go about life - lilke working - with my screaming infant in her snugli as I operated a computer on the shipping line in the warehouse, while at the same time bouncing & singing. Or sometimes I was grocery shopping when she'd start screaming - and we lived 45 minutes from the nearest shopping center when she was an infant, so leaving & coming back another time wasn't the best option (considering she screamed the whole way in the car too).

I guess all I'm saying is sometimes there's MORE than what you just see on the surface.


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## Voltige (Mar 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 

And DD, who NEVER slept, and would NEVER be put down, the bucket carrier was one of the ONLY places I could GET her to sleep - by boucning it up & down while doing sqats while the dryer was on & loud music & shower was running. So in my experience ... the carrier has some great uses outside of the car.


This was my son. The ONLY place he slept was that bucket seat. We tried everything. In bed with us, a co-sleeper, Amby baby bed, crib, etc. Nothing except that infant seat allowed him to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a stretch. During the day I'd hold him, all day. Every day. At night we used the infant seat, next to our bed, and he slept. Blissfully slept. I know it's not ideal and maybe even dangerous, but it seriously saved our lives.

At around 10 months of age he started sleeping better in bed with us and we retired that infant seat. But it was well used. I'll never knock it.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

haven't read the whole thread, but with my first 2 I did the 'seat on top of the cart' thing and now looking back can't believe I thought that was even remotely safe







Didn't get into slinging/AP till my 4th and while I did use the sling alot, for grocery shopping, I'd put the whole car seat in the back of the cart. Was a pain because i'd have to use 2 carts but easier than slinging her the whole time (it takes me a long time to grocery shop lol) Just depended on where we were going whether or not I left the baby in the car seat. At home they weren't in the car seat so it didn't cross my mind that they were in it too long honestly


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I didn't mean to be harsh. I just hate seeing so many screaming wailing infants in car seats. I realize that these babies probably don't spend all their time in car seats or have siblings that need attention but MANY times, it is one parent with one baby in a bucket and the baby is just wailing. It is very prevalent around here to hear "don't pick that baby up- you'll spoil him." I feel like that is what is going on a lot of the time.

Also, the car seats belong in cars comment is just because I feel like car seats perform most safely if they are installed in the car and not compromised by bumps and jostling when removed. How are we to know how a big bump could affect the integrity of the plastic?

The falls that I've seen have been really horrible. I am not anti-easy. I'm not about making my life hard or trying to make other people make their lives hard. I'm don't really care if people make the PARENTING decision to let a HAPPY baby sleep or play in a bucket. I let my kid nap in the car. What I am upset about is the SAFETY issue of buckets being droped, bumped, jostled, and falling and the trauma of seeing sad, wailing infants in buckets everywhere.

I really swear this is not an attack on any of you. I realize that with a toddler and a baby or in a bitter winter or scorching summer or with a baby that doesn't nap well or in myriad circumstances buckets are probably very handy. I have just seen some horrible things around here that I just don't understand.


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

I don't like seeing screaming babies either. I see it way too often and I just want to yell "pick up the baby already!!!!' It's frustrating (hugs)


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *skolbut* 
A bigger concern to me is the LARGE number of babies I see in obviously expired seats or ones that are clearly no longer within current safety guidelines, not strapped in tight enough, riding around with handles up if seat is not designed for that, babies that are too big for their bucket still in them, items like swing frames to click the seat into so when you get home your baby can just stay in the seat forever...

I am sure there are times when you see the infant come out of the car in the seat and the sentiment is totally justified (I'd share it too), but I just wanted to say my plan is to buy a super-cheap bucket secondhand just for use in restaurants and perhaps grocery shopping - we already have our desired car seat. Sometimes there is a reason for everything.


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## Flower of Bliss (Jun 13, 2006)

Bucket seats are so standard here that when DD was 4-5 months old I had 3 different people on 3 different occassions ask me "But what does she ride in in the car?" when they saw her in a sling







: Obviously, my little one rode in a carseat - a bucket seat no less. But the idea that I had a carseat and left it *gasp* in the car was just completely unfathomable.

DD was tiny. The carseat was big, heavy, and awkward (I'm only 4ft 10in). DD was one of those babies that cried at red lights and stop signs. She also nursed at least once an hour. Slinging (and nursing in a sling while walking around running errands) wasn't a statement about my parenting philosophy, it was a necessity. She would happily hang out in the sling all day long. People stopped me to tell me how quiet and happy she was. She wasn't an easy going baby, but being against my body with immediate access to the breast kept her content.

Once, DD fell asleep in the car on the way home. It was late enough that we thought she might sleep for a couple of hours, so DH carried her inside in the carseat. He and I were hoping for some time alone together. She woke up within a minute of the carseat being placed on the ground.


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

I looooved the bucket seat. I probably would have used it longer than I did if I could have! I have a shoulder injury (and recently discovered, fibromyalgia) and no matter how hard I tried, using a sling just didn't work for more than 5 minutes. So I got a snap n go and kept him in the seat. Sure, if he cried I'd take him out- but I would have to sit down and hold him and couldn't be mobile. So if he fussed, I'd just try to lull him to sleep in the car. I did the flipped over chair thing, and the clip-into-cart thing, etc etc. and I was so glad to have it. I needed some time without baby clawing at my skin all the time, and I would probably do things the same way if I were ever to have another.

I had a stock of over $400 of slings, wraps, and carriers. I still used the carseat the most. And he didn't seem to mind.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I *hate* the bucket. Hate. Even without a baby in it, it's bulky, uncomortable, heavy and awkward. Even worse with the baby in it.

But, when you have a January baby in a bad New York winter, you do what needs to be done. If I'm forced to run to the grocery store for milk with my toddler and my infant, and it's dark and snowy and I'm alone, you bet your bottom dollar I'm taking the baby in the car seat and putting her in the cart part, and the toddler is sitting in the cart's seat. No one's screaming, no one's freezing, and it's easier on everyone. I love my slings and so did/do my babies, but sometimes, the bucket's going to get used.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyactsofcharity* 
ETA: Okay, I'd like to say here that I am not being judgmental here. I had to go to toys r us the other day and saw 3 different babies in buckets clipped into the toddler seat on the cart even though there was a sign that said not to. All three were screaming bloody murder. THEN while I was still there, I saw a preschooler grab onto their parents cart, while it was holding the baby seat, and the weight FLIPPED THE CART. Traumatizing, much?!?!
.

OMGsh yes, very! I saw that when I was 10 and the image has NOT left me. *shudder*


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## skolbut (Feb 18, 2008)

Okay... I'm dumb and I don't know how to quote y'all so I'll just kindof address some stuff:

I guess my point was... I use my bucket. Daily. And generally I love it. But I see abuse, too. Yes, I know ppl buy cheapo second hand ones to use shopping, etc.... but the times I see the old expired ones or kids to big for them is when I see them in other social situations being strappped into one to GO INTO the car... like leaving my mom's group playdate or church or from going out to coffee, etc. I myself have considered buying a cheapo seat for ds1 to play with.

The lady at WIC literally looked at me like I had 2 heads when I didn't bring my bucket, and I asked her "What about people that don't use them?"... she honestly had not encountered that. I think the point is that I know lots of people who don't use buckets, and I see lots of babies in expired ones or in buckets long after they have outgrown them at WIC, but nobody says anything -- THAT is the scary part.

There's no reason I couldn't have held the babe to weigh us both, then put him on the baby scale and taken the difference. The nurse said that wasn't an option bc she needed to 'see' my 'official' weight, so my suggestion was for her to hold the baby. When I go to WIC I see parents sitting in chairs with baby in bucket at feet, either rocking the seat with a crying baby very vigorously or not even looking at the baby or acting like they care, speaking to their children horribly, not supervising older toddlers while they are playing/fighting, etc. IMO the staff at WIC should not be allowing/encouraging that sort of environment, WIC should be a place where parents can get support to do loving and caring things. (yes I know that the nurses are probably understaffed, underpaid, and overworked)

As to the one mom at church... I'm not trying to judge. I just happen to know that she works pt from home and lives with her mom who watches her toddler and the baby during the day, makes meals, and does light housekeeping... and is at church with mom, teen son, and dh. None of them pick up baby, instead handing over a paci at each utterance until baby screams, she bf's, then puts the baby back down. There is another mom I know who often brings her little one in the bucket... she has a very high needs toddler and *needs* her baby in the bucket but interacts with him and takes him out to bf... I totally get that. I just don't get the entire loving family sitting around watching the baby play by herself in the bucket, especially at church.

I *totally* agree that there are some babies that won't calm down without being in a carseat, and sometimes that's the only way a stressed parent can get baby to sleep (like my neice who sleeps just fine now). Sometimes babies scream in the carseat because they scream all the time. IMO, there's a difference here, especially if the parent is using the seat SAFELY (straps adjusted correctly, recline done correctly, handle up/down per manufacturer, seat not expired or too small, not perching seat in inappropriate places, rocking it violently, etc.).

So, again, I agree with the OP... it seems like there is a social acceptance of leaving babies in buckets, and places almost seem to make it easier to do so, sometimes to the detriment of some poor little one who is stuck in their bucket all day...


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## lee1203 (Dec 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
I am sure there are times when you see the infant come out of the car in the seat and the sentiment is totally justified (I'd share it too), but I just wanted to say my plan is to buy a super-cheap bucket secondhand just for use in restaurants and perhaps grocery shopping - we already have our desired car seat. Sometimes there is a reason for everything.

Oh my gosh this is a brilliant idea. How come I didn't read it four months ago?!









We don't have a bucket, but in hindsight I wish I'd bought one. My little bugger is not overly thrilled with being worn. She'll tolerate the sling longer than the mei tei, but after awhile it hurts my arm. I grocery shop only in stores that have the little baby seats attached to the carts. She loves those things!







She also really likes her stroller (a gift - I thought I'd never use one







on me), and I make sure to stop and chat at her fairly often. But my first choice is the baby carts, since she can see me along with everything else, so you bet that if I had a bucket I'd set it in the cart with her in it!


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## jenniferlynne (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riverscout* 
I sat him on the floor next to me while I picked out what I needed. And you know what? All I could think about the whole time was that some MDC mama would see me and think what a horrible mother I was and wonder why I didn't use a sling and worry that my poor baby spent most of his life in baby containers.









It makes me sad you would think that, but I know what you mean. I agree with the poster who said screaming babies unattended in buckets is a PARENTING issue, not a BUCKET issue. There's nothing wrong with using buckets as they were intended, and no one should feel guilty for doing so!


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## Kim Allen (Jun 28, 2008)

My cousin had her baby sleep in a bucket all the time. even bed time







SHe was 1 yr old before they switched her to a crib. Really sad and agrrevating at the same time. Seems like it would be so uncomfortable. Ds hated his bucket and was only in it for car rides. Even if i took it into the store he never set in one. It was just nice to strap him in it on my way out to the car and walking through parking lot.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I agree that babies shouldn't be carted around in their car seats all the time and not held. But there is value to taking them out of the car in the seats. My dd was born in January, and January in Illinois is COLD. Being able to run into the store for a quick shopping trip and keep her in her warm seat with the blanket snuggled around her was a really good thing. (And I put her in the main part of the cart - I agree that it's dangerous to perch them up on the front basket part.)

But generally I HATE that thing. It has to be really cold or something like that for me to cart it around. It seems to weigh like 1000 times more than she weighs. If the weather is nice I prefer to have her in the sling while I shop.


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## prettymatty (Feb 2, 2009)

I think that buckets seats do have a time & a place just like any kind of baby accessories. What about high chairs? Is it "wrong" to have your baby sitting in the high chair while you cook dinner for 1/2 hour? Or an exersaucer? Anything can be mis-used and most of the time it is a parenting issue. Maybe some people honestly don't realize how easy babywearing is. If I'm making a quick trip to the store, my weekly mom/baby group, a friend's house across the city I wear my baby. If I'm going to the mall then I take my big stroller with bucket in it and also a baby carrier just in case she wants to be carried.

My pet peeve is also babies being in the buckets in the top of the cart. I always put her bucket in the bottom. (If she's sleeping in her bucket, I'm soo not going to take her out & possibly wake her up just to put her in carrier.) We recently put her in a rear facing convertible seat and I'm really noticing the difference when we go grocery shopping or somewhere as a family. I can't just leave her sleeping and take the seat out.

Sometimes it is just easier to carry a bucket seat in and sometimes its a pain.


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