# Sleep Deprived Mamas Support Thread



## penstamon (Nov 6, 2008)

Ah...sleep deprivation. Its a lonely place. Anyone want to join?










Aside from MDC and DH I get no support for DS's, and subsequently our, poor sleep habits. He is currently waking every 1-2 hours all night, which is better than previously, but still so difficult. The best part are the comments I have heard lately from friends and women in a mama's group:

"you are making him that way because you let him control you"
"what are you doing? he will never sleep on his own if you cater to him"
"cio is GOOD for babies"
"I nightweaned at 4 months because it was just unacceptable to have to feed LO 2-3 times a night"

Lovely. I just need to keep my mouth shut and pretend he sleeps. Anyone else need to vent or a shoulder to cry on? Fire away sleep deprived ladies!


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## HeliMom (Jan 14, 2010)

I'm with you there.
It's been 9 months and I still have yet to "Sleep through the night" I find myself just saying that she does, just to not bring it into conversation. Maybe I shouldn't? Maybe I should be more visible as a sleepy mama. Haha.

I try to nap when she naps, but usually I get all excited about being able to read a book again or have some me time.

On those really bad nights when her teething is bothering her and I'm back to 1 hour cycles? I just chant to myself that this isn't forever and that this will pass. I often loose sight of that when I'm really tired. (like tonight ;p)


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

I've been co-sleeping for over 6 years now, and so I'm not sure I've slept since then.







: My 12 month old wakes up a few times a night to nurse, and because she only wants me as a binky, she wakes up 2 dozen times a night because my nipple fell out of her mouth.







:

Yeah, I'm tired. LOL!


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## dioramamama (Sep 4, 2007)

Right there with you. Haven't slept more than 2 hours at a time since April 2008. Co-sleeping, still night nursing... I feel like trying to night wean would only mean less sleep!

Definitely try to keep "this is only temporary" at the forefront of my addled mind, but good lord... I'm a zombie!


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## echoecho1528 (Jul 29, 2008)

I'm right there with you guys







.
The only thing I can tell you is that I have yet to see any improvement. DD is currently 23 months and she still nurses at night like a newborn.
I'm not sure if we are the norm for co-sleeping, extended nursing, non-cio families, I certainly hope not.
I wish I were in your shoes OP and only 6 months into this. At that point I thought there was hope, I have hope no more. If I could go back in time, I would do SOMETHING to help DD to sleep better. I don't know what that would be because I am pretty sure I thought I was doing everything I could at the time, but seriously, it only gets harder to change anything.
At this point for us, something has to change. This will unfortunately mean a drastic (hopefully not too traumatic) change. We may take a stronger stance on nightweaning, we may get daddy to completely take over nights. I'm not sure. All I know is that I will be checking myself into some sort of hospital soon if nothing works or if it gets any worse.


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## treegardner (May 28, 2009)

:yawning DS is 17 months old and has yet to STTN. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I got pregnant in Oct 07! I try to nap when he does, but if I did that I wouldn't get any time to myself.


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## not_telling (Mar 31, 2008)

Mama of an almost-18-month old here...and sleep-deprived since at least the last trimester of my pregnancy. Unless something is bothering him (e.g. teething), DS only wakes a few times a night. However, he does have a wonderful habit of grabbing my hair or whacking me in the face while he sleeps.
And, the real kicker, is that for the past...I don't know...10 months maybe...I've developed insomnia issues. So even when he sleeps for 2-7 hours straight, I'm lucky if I sleep for even a small fraction of that time. I think I'm just anticipating his waking up. Or his whacking me.

I just made it through a terrible week of insomnia and sadly remembered those Friday nights long past (pre-pregnancy) when I would get into bed and gleefully look at DH and announce how much I just loooooved Friday nights because I knew I could sleep in.


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

I have been running on 5 hours of broken sleep a night since DD was 4 months old, and that's on a good night. On the bad nights I'll be lucky if I even sleep an hour before she's up and ready to start the day. Everyone asks me how I function on so little sleep night after night and I really don't know what to tell them. The best way I can describe it is she naps at night. Unlike DS, who would go back to sleep immediately after nursing, she wakes up and is fully awake and ready to go. I would not mind the night-waking to nurse if she actually went back to sleep after doing so, and starting the day at 4am just isn't my cup of tea.

I feel bad because I just don't have the energy and mental stamina to interact with friends or do anything but what I have to do. I am lucky that DS has been STTN since he was a year old or so, I don't know what I'd do if I had two of them keeping me up all night long.


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

Ooh, can I join? My 9mo DD just wakes up a ton and has since she was 3.5 months old. It drives me nuts how as soon as anyone finds out she doesn't sleep well, they instantly have advice about what I should do to get her to sleep better. It's not like we haven't tried many, many, many strategies to get her to sleep better. Most people just do not understand what it's like to have a kid who wakes up as often as every 45 minutes, who won't nap in her bed for more than half an hour without waking up, who has been known to smack herself in the side of the head with her fist to keep from falling asleep. Man, it drives me nuts when someone thinks they can solve my problems with half a second (or less) of thought on their part. The recommendations to do CIO are particularly irritating. They do not know my kid. She would scream for HOURS if we just put her in her crib and let her cry.

Okay, I feel a little better now that I got that rant out.







We've been having a tough week here. Finally last night I HAD to get some sleep, so DH stayed with DD until 3am. The sleep was helpful, but the only way I got to have it was that she had to cry in Daddy's arms until he could get her to go back to sleep. I know it's not exactly the same thing as CIO, but I still feel really bad about it.









It's a good thing my little sweetie is so awesome, bright, cute, and funny during the day.


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## laughymama (Oct 14, 2009)

Can I join? My situation is a little different as DS has slept through the night since he was around 7 months old. (a blessing we count DAILY!) Recently though we've been trying to get him to sleep on his mattress next to ours but uh, he's pretty much flat out refused. We have a full sized bed so while DS sleeps fantastically in between us, neither DH or I can go an hour without being kicked, hit, bumping heads with DS, trying to move him over..etc..etc.

He also rubs skin for comfort as he is going to sleep. After ten minutes of that in the same place on my arm, it HURTS. Then there's the clicking. He makes a clicking noise with his tongue when he's going to sleep. It can be heard all the way in the other room. So some nights it's like sleeping with a cricket.

We're planning on getting a King sized bed because obviously THIS isn't working out. I'm hoping by the time the new baby gets here we'll be able to convince DS to try out his mattress...but we'll see.

We've taken to just flat out lying about our sleeping arrangement with some family members. I feel AWFUL for that but it's tiring to hear the comments that are well meaning but don't do anything but wear me down.


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## Icehockey18 (Oct 24, 2009)

I'm in! We've had a handful of stretches of 3-4 hrs at a time since ds (7.5 mo). Most of the time it's every 1-2 hours. The nice thing is he'll nurse and go right back to sleep. And recently I've been able to 'flip' him over and he'll go back (he sleeps in the crook of my arm, so switching arms is 'flipping' him over). But starting around 2 or 3 am he wants me to sit up to nurse him, and then stay sleeping that way. I've learned to 'sleep' sitting up with his blanket around my neck for support.
What I tell others when they ask about his sleep (WHY is that always their first question?!?!) is that he does well, he sleeps 10-12 hours a night... If he doesn't open his eyes to nurse, I don't consider him 'waking' up...
Oh, and I have to add this story:
so dh was at work (when ds was about 3-4 months I believe) and someone (a girl) asked how our nights were. Well dh is an honest person and said 'not good'. So then she says her lo (a baby girl, that was present during this encounter) had beev sttn since 3 mo (she was 7 months at the time). Well dh was like wow, that must be nice! So she said she read this book where she feeds x amount at x amount time intervals during the day to get all her 'food' in her in 12 hrs.... So dh is telling me this and I'm like, wow that's terrible! The poor baby is force fed! Then he said he asked her if she nursed and she said 'some' (?) but he said he felt awkward having her explain... So dh tells me this and it just seems weird, dh also said her lo was the same size as ds, at the time, even though there was a 4 mo age difference! Anyway.... He just sort of brushed her off and went about his day... The nex day she brought him the book! '12 hours by 12 weeks old'!!!! I was disgusted! This women (not even a phd or md) wrote a book advocating force feeding during the day to train a 12 week old baby to sleep 12 hrs!!!! No wonder the baby was small, I wonder if she fit ftt?
Anyway, rambling story. I guess the point is. I would rather do the best thing for my baby then get a 'good night's rest'.... Hugs to all you fellow tired mama's- way to be there for your babes!


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## sillysmile (Nov 5, 2009)

I'm with you all too.. my nearly-13mo DD usually doesn't go more than 2 hrs, and many nights she's up every 45 minutes. If she makes it through the night with only 5-6 short wake-ups to snack, I consider myself lucky.

On not-so-lucky nights she may jolt *fully* awake at 4am, and require another 2-3 hrs to get tired enough to fall back asleep. As desperately as I wanted to BF, I thought that longer sleep stretches was one of the only supposed benefits of FF. Not for us! We do cosleep, and I'm not about to change that though we may slowly work on sidecarring and partial nightweaning over the next few months. My DH and I have both lost way too many hours of sleep trying to lie still in uncomfortable positions so as not to wake our little bundle up.

I just keep telling myself that it HAS to get easier from here, and is certainly better than the first 8 months when I was pumping 6-8x a day and had to get up twice a night to pump in addition to all of the nighttime feedings. That was fun.

One short anecdote.. the other day we were talking to a doctor and mom of a 14 month old who was lecturing me about "my DD only cried for 2.5 hrs the first night.." it took all of my (perhaps misplaced) restraint to smile nicely and nod.

Many hugs to all of you strong strong women


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

Icehockey, someone (well meaning, just didn't know any better) gave me that book. I was so horrified by it. Yes, she advocates feeding your 6wo or 8wo only every 4 hours during the day. You just have to feed them a ton at a time so that supposedly they will get enough to eat. And she says that breastmilk is good, but she wants you to exclusively pump so that you know how much your lo is getting in each feeding! She says your body is so smart that it will just naturally adjust and you won't have any supply problems. Wow, just wow. Not only did I throw the book out, I destroyed it first so that there would be no chance it would fall into anyone else's hands! And yes, the woman has no medical training or relevant education, but she works as a consultant, spreading these methods around.









So, last night DH was going to do the nighttime parenting for the first part of the night, then switch when River seemed to need to nurse. I expected him to come in to switch around midnight, but I didn't hear anything out of them until 7am! Turns out that she woke up twice (8pm and 10:30pm) but easily went back to sleep both times, and then partially woke up a few more times but resettled easily. This is maybe the second time she has ever done that in her life, and both times her dad was with her all night. So, I cannot figure this kid out. One night she wakes up a ton and cries a lot, then the next night she practically STTN. WTH? Since I have no idea what is causing it, I don't know what to do or not do to help her sleep better again.

Also, it's worth noting that even if my kid slept well, I did not.







I kept waking up, wondering what was going on, worrying that she wasn't waking because she'd stopped breathing and DH just hadn't noticed.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

I'm on day 3 with absolutely no sleep.







Mia's always been a frequent night waker but the last 2 nights, she's been up every 30 minutes. I can't figure out why... She's not teething, she eats plenty during the day....she just wants to suck (but she won't take a binky...so it's nursing all night long).

She's miserable during the day, I'm exhausted, and I can't nap because I still have another toddler at home who doesn't nap except when in the car and she needs to be played with and watched.

This is getting ridiculous.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I haven't STTN in almost 8 years, I have THREE nightwaking children. Night time is utter hell in my house. If even 1-2 out of 3 slept better then life would be soo much better.

I have DD1 who is 7 years old, she suffers from anxiety issues which manifest as insomnia. It is tolerable right now, she is only up for 1-2 hours during the night, big improvement from the 6 hours a night she was averaging for most of last year. She starts off in DH's room, if she actually goes to sleep then she stays there until she wakes up during the night then she comes and crawls in my bed and flops around until finally going back to sleep. Some nights she can not go to sleep so she stays up until 11 or so before sleeping in my bed.

Next is 3 year old DD2 who as the middle child is still adjusting to her role. She hasn't nursed at night in 1.5 years but still has never STTN. DH gets her at night, during the night. 3-4 times a week she also wakes up in the middle of the night and is up for a while, her problem is that she has asthma, despite inhalers, she still coughs at night. Once she coughs then she gets afraid to go back to sleep and wants to get up for a while. My biggest problem with her is when DH works late or is traveling, getting her to sleep almost impossible by myself. You have to lay there and hold her hand, I can usually manage to get her to sleep the first time but then after that she wakes up several times until I or Dh go to bed and it is impossible to get her back to sleep with DS.

DS is the baby and at almost 9 months of course don't STTN. Granted he is the best sleeper out of my 3.







He has a very annoying habit of going down at 7:30pm then taking a 20 minute minute only to be up until 10 or so. Not cool when I have work to do. I can't really complain though because I can lay him down, the girls at this age would only sleep on top of me.

Honestly, I rarely complain about my lack of sleep anymore. Nothing ever help, I just deal at this point.


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## mynameisMom (Mar 27, 2009)

I'm so tired I can't stop crying today. It's a bad day. LO has never slept through the night, ever, and has been on a jag of sleeping 1.5 to 2 hours at a time for several weeks. By the time I get in bed and to sleep I get less than an hour at a time. I am breaking things, forgetting things, and hurting myself on everything. I know this will pass but it sure is hard.


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## lotus.blossom (Mar 1, 2005)

I am drifting through these last couple days on hardly any sleep. Its a really weird dangerous state to be in. My ears are ringing and its kind of an out of body experience. At least that is better than the rage. I have moved past the rage.

I have been handing out encouraging advice on this forum in the past few months, but seems like my sttn days are over. I suffered through 2.5 years of sleeping hell with ds1 and when ds2 was born he just slept like a rock for 5 months. I was in heaven. I thought- I could have 5 more of these babies!! He NEVER napped or slept during the day like typical newborns. Thought that was a little weird but told myself he would settle into a nap routine eventually, like ds1 did.

WRONG!









He is 9 months old and his nighttime sleeping has gone downhill. Its still not as bad as ds1's but he wakes quite frequently. And he will not nap. If I am lucky he will fall asleep in my lap for 10 minutes twice a day. On a good day I can set him in bed and he will sleep for about 17 minutes. Literally. I can set my watch by it. It gives me enough time to A)squeeze in a quick workout or B) throw my dishes in the dishwasher and take a 10 minute shower.
I feel totally screwed. I can deal with the lack of me time during the day if I am getting a full nights sleep (or with ds1 I got a solid 2 hour block of nap from him, even though he slept poorly at night) But this baby wants me to die a slow death of sleep deprivaton, and personal time deprivation.

He has been sick these last couple of nights with a terrible fever and the only place he will sleep is laid across my lap while I sit on the couch (hence the whining here) and I am in that zone of not being able to sleep regardless of if he is sleeping or not. Also he is cutting his 8th tooth, and taking some of his first steps. SO I might just be in the thickest thick of it right now. A lot going on. I just worry about his sleep defecit. It can't be healthy. I mean Weissbluth says an infant of his age should be getting something like 15 hrs of sleep per day. Mine gets a choppy 11-12. How can he live with 3 hours of sleep missing everyday?


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## Bellabaz (Feb 27, 2008)

I haven't hd a good night's sleep since maybe April 09. It was hard to sleep during the last half of my pregnancy. Dd2 is 4 months and is actually worse now than at the beginning. A good night for us would be me going to bed at 11 (her waking up to nurse) and being awakened by her at 6:30 to nurse with only 4 or 5 wakings in between. We co sleep and I keep hoping things will get better. Reading this thread isn't giving me much hope though.


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## Enudely (Jul 2, 2005)

this thread isn't helping much, is it? Well. We've tried having her fall asleep without our snuggles at bedtime and it doesn't seem to be helping. I tried one night of sitting next to her bed at 2 a.m while she screamed "I HAVE TO SNUGGLE!!! I CAN"T SLEEP!" and cried for an hour. Not gonna do that again, it just feels so wrong.
However, I am pissed (can I say that here?) at her! That's the only way I can put it. I feel SO bad. I am just so angry to be woken up THREE times a night by my almost 4 year old. I've decided we need a king size bed. I think we NEED it enough to warrant using a credit card. Let's call it an emergency. My dh doesn't agree. I'll have to start saving.


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## penstamon (Nov 6, 2008)

I agree that its depressing to read about all of our problems, but it is therapeutic to write about them (at least for me) and have the support of other mamas who btdt. Although it scares me because most other mamas have babies much older than DS and still have sleep problems.









We had an awful night last night after things began to look up again. I think it was from trying solids again. We only got two 1.5 hour stretches of sleep, otherwise he would only sleep 20-30 min and was up from 1:30-4. Poor thing is on his second nap of the day already and I can't bring myself to lay down!


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## Beauchamp (Jan 12, 2009)

I was coming on MDC to post a thread called "It's Not Co-sleeping if Mama Isn't Sleeping!", but since I am so exhausted I'll just put the thought down here.









I'm with the PP who talked about insomnia problems. DD wakes so frequently that I am afraid to put my head down and get comfortable. Last night at 3 a.m. I was sitting up in bed with my head in my hands wanting to cry, wanting to sleep, but totally unable to do so.

And by the way, co-sleeping for me is like being in the middle seat on an airplane--- NOT FUN! I have DH on my right, who does try to stay as far over as he can, and DD on my left, who sleeps with both arms straight out from her side, i.e. she takes up almost HALF of a king size bed, and woe to me if I even touch her hands because it wakes her up. ***sigh***


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## lotus.blossom (Mar 1, 2005)

I hear you Beauchamp!! with my ds1 I used to curl up in a ball at the end of my own bed. Thats not cosleeping, that was toddler tyranny.







I am fighting for my right to space this time around. Plus we have a new mattress that doesn't dump us all to the middle of the bed. So it helps. Sort of. I tell you I love it when I go to bed earlier than DH and I have all of his side to stretch out on.


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## BubbisMama (Dec 1, 2008)

I SO needed to see this today! DS is 20 months old and has STTN maybe a few times. Last night he was awake 8 times in 10.5 hours. I am sick. I am at the end of my rope with this. DH wants to put him in his crib...I told him I haven't worked this hard for this long just to let him CIO...DH seems to think that's a "quick" solution.
When your child doesn't sleep, it can be so isolating. Especially the older they get. No on understands. They offer you terrible advice. I'm so frustrated. I'm exhausted. DS will only go to sleep with us so DH and I rarely get any time alone. I tried for 7 weeks back in the fall to get him to bed earlier (by himself), still in our bed, but it was taking me 1-1.5 hours to get him to sleep so it really wasn't worth the energy.
Nap time is a toss up between sleeping with him or cleaning. I don't know any other mamas that never get any time for themselves, it doesn't seem like much to ask for








It seems like this would/could be easier if he slept on a more predictable schedule. Right now it's random random random and always has been. Saturday night he slept for 13 hours-interrupted of course







- and then Sunday night he slept for 8 interrupted hours. Naps are anywhere for 1.5-3 hours at a different time every day. It seems like more sleep could be had overall if he slept for a longer time at night.
Thanks for listening


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## fruitlove (Apr 16, 2008)

I have no advice but can assure you all that I am in the same boat.

With no family in town, it is just me and my husband. Our DD is 19 months next week and still wakes several times for milk. The best night we've had was when she slept from 11pm through 6 am without waking. My husband is now starting to sleep on the couch by himself because he gets a much better sleep that way.

I am constantly struggling with having DD on a routine. Get up at 7am, nap after lunch and bed at 8pm. Whenever we don't stick to it the nights seem to get worse.









As my LLL leader says: 'This too shall pass...'


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## teagan01 (Jan 27, 2010)

Can I join too?
I have 9 mos old twin girls and the one DD wakes every 45 minutes from 7p-2a, then at 4a and 6a. Her sister only wakes 2-3 times which is fine. DH does a great job but I wish we had family near by to help, we never get a break. Family is on the east coast and we are on the west. I keep telling myself they are only little once and that helps a lot. I can't sleep during the day because DD only naps for a short time. I am greatful for the support of these forums! I can't complain too much, they are pretty easy during the day


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## MommyMaggie (Jan 28, 2010)

We've been doing this for only 8 weeks and I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep at time since birth.

My pediatrician said that at this age he should be sleeping 6 hours at time. Yeah. Right. You tell him that. He is breastfed from a bottle (multiple cases of Mastitis are preventing true breastfeeding now) and takes a good 6 ounces at night. But he still wakes up, not because he is hungry, but because he wants his pacifier or he wants his diaper change, or now I-am-super-beyond-soothing-hungry-even-though-I-wouldn't-take-the-bottle-ten-minutes-ago. And when I finally do get him to sleep, I have to pump. Then I can't go to sleep so I read a book.

I REFUSE to CIO with my DS. I REFUSE to use that Ezzo crap.

So... tired....


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## alisoninparis (Nov 5, 2005)

Wow. I logged onto this forum to post about my sleep deprivation and having read this thread, I'm not feeling so bad after all. DS is 8 months old and has never STTN. He is an all night nurser but we had him almost transitioned to his crib (next to our bed), or at least for a chunk in the middle of the night. Then he caught a cold 2 weeks ago and basically went back to square one. The past couple nights he's been using my boob as a pacifier and whining every time I try to disengage (my back bothers me when I stay in the same position too long). At 5 a.m. I broke down in sobs and DH told me to go sleep on the couch because I was desperate for sleep. I finally fell asleep around 5:30, only to be awakened at 6 a.m. by DD who has been waking up insanely early the past week. I am a zombie, but then again DS does nap during the day (and DD does to school) so things apparently aren't as bad for us as they are for other mamas here. Hugs.


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyMaggie* 
We've been doing this for only 8 weeks and I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep at time since birth.

My pediatrician said that at this age he should be sleeping 6 hours at time. Yeah. Right.

I'm sorry but the advice that an 8 week old should be asleep for six hours straight just sounds insane, I'm so sorry you got such off-base advice from your ped.


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## jldumm (Sep 6, 2006)

I don't want any sleeping through the night but a consistent 4 to 5 hours at a time each night would be awesome. We just recently decided to move ds out of our bed and into the crib because he was waking every 3o min to 1.5 hours. It worked for his sister, but so far he still is waking every 1.5 to 2 hours to nurse. It is a lot more peaceful than having daddy do any of the night wakings, but we might have to go to that if he doesn't change his ways. i can't do it any more.


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## eks (Aug 4, 2008)

hope for non-sleepers...
I just wanted to share a success story! My 2 year old DD has struggled with falling asleep since week one. We have adhered to the "no cry" philosophy which in our case actually results in "no cry without parent holding" since plenty of crying has happened. We do not co-sleep since she was a couple months old, just because it means parents don't sleep well not b/c we have any philosophical problem with it. It usually took us 1-2 hours to get her to sleep at night, with her falling asleep at times at 10pm. We did use the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" which helped a bit with sleeping through the night but not much with falling asleep.
So, first my advice is that things do change and they usually do get better. I know that's hard when you're getting 3-5 hrs of sleep a night and you need better NOW.
Secondly, I find what has changed the most is just some magical development stages. About six months ago she just started sleeping through the night (with some exceptions) and we recently implemented a strategy that works beautifully now, but I'm sure six months ago she would not have accepted. We still do an awake routine of about 45 min of Dad time, reading, quiet music, etc. this is now followed by about 5 minutes of nursing, 5 min of massage, a kiss good-night, give her a special cloth book to read to her dolls and put on quiet music, leave the door open a crack while we are earshot away in the living room. It is fabulous! When she's especially needy she can call for us or come into the living room, which she did the first week or so but rarely does now. It's just such a wonderful change from the hour long battle we used to have staying with her.

So, I hope this helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel


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## eks (Aug 4, 2008)

I like that..."it's not co-sleeping if Mama is not sleeping". That's how we feel. Theoretically we like co-sleeping and actually often sleep just Mama and DD in a double mattress on the floor, but in bed w/ heavy sleeping DH means no sleep for Mama. Having the extra double futon on the floor in DD's room has been very nice for some naps or especially rough nights.


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## alisoninparis (Nov 5, 2005)

I posted a couple of days ago after hitting rock bottom, but DH and I found a new routine which is *really* helping. Basically 8 mo DS was waking up and being restless all night long. Every time he woke he needed my boob in his mouth to get back to sleep, and every time I disengaged he started whining again. DH suggested we put DS on his side of the bed, i.e. not next to me. The plan was that I would aim to nurse DS 1-2 times during the night MAX. After only 2 nights, things are drastically improved! DS sleeps from 7 p.m. until about 1-2 a.m., when DH and I switch places and I nurse him to sleep. Once he's asleep, DH and I switch places again. DS woke up once at around 4 or 5 and cried a little bit, but DH snuggled him back to sleep with my boobs far enough away for him to forget about the temptation. Next time DS woke up, around 6 or 7, we did another switch-and-nurse. I'm feeling really optimistic that with this technique we will get DS sleeping through the night, or at least waking maybe once, soon enough. Once we achieve that, we'll move him into his crib next to our bed in the hopes that things won't regress.


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## 4JMJ (Feb 5, 2008)

Sleep....the word sounds familiar, but I can't recall exactly what it is, IT'S BEEN SO LONG!! Well I'm probably being a little dramatic (our youngest is only 4 mos. and the true lack of sleep probably began around July last year). But it feels like YEARS since I have had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep! And I think I've got a long way to go because DS is totally lovin' the nigttime boob! And if it's not him waking up to eat, it's his 6 yo brother who seems to find his way into our bed every. stinkin. night! Oh well, I think everyone around me is getting used to me functioning in a semi-conscious/aware state! Still, I dream of the day when sleep and I will be reunited!


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## Emmery'sMom (May 31, 2009)

I belong here too. My DD has never been a great sleeper, and any gains we did make in the early months went right out with window when the 4 month GS hit...._I'm_ still traumatized by that GS







Things have gotten only marginally better since then, and she's a year old now.
She only naps on me while I nurse and rock her, and wakes within 20 minutes if I try laying her down.
She usually wakes a minimum of 8 times to nurse from the time she goes to bed to the time she wakes in the morning (6 times while I'm in bed with her too). On a bad night she's awake 20+ times, tossing and turning for hours on end, laying next to me playing, headbutting me, smacking me or heeling me in the face at 4 in the morning, trying to roll off the bed.....
I have zero help at night. DH has been on the couch since we brought DD home. Her crib is side-carred so there is plenty of room for him, but- yeah.... I won't even go any further on that








Luckily I don't get any of the unsolicited advice from family/friends. I guess maybe that's one benefit of being an older first time mom at 33, or maybe they just know my personality by now and know what things they better not dare say to me








I was curious if anyone here has read _Helping Baby Sleep: The Science and Practice of Gentle Nighttime Parenting_, by Anni Gethin PhD and Beth Macgregor? I read a brief snippit about it in the recent issue of Mothering Mag, and there is a good amount of the book available for preview on Amazon....the preview has me intrigued. I'm considering the purchase, but I need better suggestions than what I found in the NCSS...suggestions that apply more for an older high-needs baby that doesn't settle for less than what she wants


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## KorbanJ08 (Dec 25, 2008)

Yes, yes, yes, co-sleeping is great for everyone but the parents who share the bed with the kid. He kicks, he head butts me, he busted my lip open once, sleeps side ways, kicks me in my already sore lower back and than he strokes my DH's arms which tickles and drives him nuts. I wanted to get out of the bed and sleep on the floor.
No matter how much we try, every time we put him in the crib he wakes up. Last night he was dead asleep, but we were not, cause he was sleeping sideways again, so I tried to pick him up and put him in his crib which is only 2 feet away from us. The instant he hit his crib mattress he woke up crying, I picked him up put him in our bed again and BOOM, he was fast asleep again. GRRR...
I get the same comments too:
"just let him CIO",
"he is manipulating you"
"he will never sleep in his own"

Who, cares! I just want a descent nights sleep.
Thanks for letting me vent:yawning

Mom to a perfect














18 month old


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## Rosemarino (Jan 15, 2008)

This was me last night: "Stop crying! Papa is trying to sleep, Caren is trying to sleep, Clara is trying to sleep, mama is trying to sleep and you need to sleep too." We had house guests. Lovely. Also, "Mama is not going to stay in your bed with you, mama wants to sleep in her bed with papa, and you need to sleep here and not wake up." I NEVER imagined myself saying such harsh things to my kid, but when I'm sleep deprived, I'm not myself. DS has a special talent for waking up just as I am drifting off to sleep.


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## mrsteapot (Dec 21, 2006)

A trick that has worked in the past is to keep a heating pad on low in the crib where the baby will lay, you take it out right before you lay them down so that they don't feel a temp difference and wake up. Now if someone can help me with how to get her to STAY asleep.....


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## Beauchamp (Jan 12, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrsteapot* 
A trick that has worked in the past is to keep a heating pad on low in the crib where the baby will lay, you take it out right before you lay them down so that they don't feel a temp difference and wake up. Now if someone can help me with how to get her to STAY asleep.....









This heating pad does work to help me get her onto those cold cotton sheets. This morning I tried one of those microwaveable heat packs, the aromatherapy rice sock sort of thing that has lavender, cinnamon, lemongrass, etc, inside. It was easier for me to lay that down and kick it aside when I laid her in the crib, since DH was not here and he is the one in charge of monitoring/moving the heating pad when he's here. Plus the rice "sock" can't really get too hot, I don't think. I just left in in the crib near her head, so maybe she will feel a little ambient heat from it, and still get the nice scent.


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## Jend1002 (Feb 2, 2010)

Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.


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## Emmery'sMom (May 31, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jend1002* 
Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.


Anyone who says that, and is halfway serious about it, has never been well-and-truly sleep deprived for any length of time


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## ktmama (Jan 21, 2004)

alisoninparis, thanks for your success report. DH and I are doing some research and planning right now to hopefully help our darling ds get more sleep. Fortunately for us, he is a good daytime sleeper and will start the night out in his crib for a two or three hour stretch, but then insist on being in our bed (like won't sleep in his crib anymore) and has to be snuggled up to me with his head in my armpit! It's getting harder and harder for me to sleep through all the nursing, but I WOH and co-sleeping is the only way I can get even close to the sleep I need.

OTOH, a friend of mine was just diagnosed with major depression following three years of sleep deprivation with her high needs ds. So, please mamas, take care of yourselves. Prolonged sleep deprivation is unhealthy for parents and kids.


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## alisoninparis (Nov 5, 2005)

Hi again mamas. I'm back for another report on our attempts to wean DS at night by keeping him on DH's side as much as possible. After some initial success we had a couple nights of regression, one bad enough to have me worried that this would never work (at 3 a.m., an hour after nursing, DS was screaming his head off and slapping/kicking DH for 30 minutes before we gave up and I nursed him back to sleep). But then he got better again. We're nowhere near our goal of getting him to sleep in his crib and waking max. once per night, but I feel we are slowly heading in the right direction. I never expected a quick solution anyway. Working as a team we should be able to make this happen in the next month or so, I hope. Last night he went to bed at 7 and didn't wake until about 3, when I nursed him. He woke up once or twice more and DH got him back to sleep both times by just cuddling with him. Then he woke up for the day at 7:15. Not bad!!


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## crabbyowl (May 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jend1002* 
Is anyone else sick of people saying "you'll be trying to wake him up when he is a teenager" - ugh! Yes, this is just hilarious to someone who hasn't slept for more than 2 or 3 hours in a row for 16 months. I would love to wait 12 more years for sleep! I can't believe how many times I have heard this.

Yes, so frustrating! My rejoinder to that is that yes, this may be the case, but at that point I won't be structuring my day around her sleep schedule (or lack thereof).

Eleanor is wonderful during the day, but at night she can be an absolute nightmare. I'm just coming off of a week where she was up for 2.5-3 hours in the middle of the night, every night, plus getting up at least an hour before usual in the morning, plus only napping for 30-45 minutes.







She slept 8 hour stretches for 3 wonderful nights when she was about 8 weeks old, but now at 16 months she's been sleeping like a newborn for well over a year. Plus, even on the rare occasions when she sleeps for 3 hours at a time during the night, toward morning (around 4:00 or so) she almost always gets up every hour until finally being up for the day at around 7:00, so I never feel even remotely rested in the morning.

My husband thinks I need to change her sleep schedule, but I don't think so. She always goes down pretty easily at naptime and bedtime, and I know she's tired at those times. Her sleep schedule isn't the problem; the problem is that she just isn't sleeping for any significant length of time!

What really had me seeing red was when my husband wasn't feeling well and got to sleep a whole 14 HOURS. Not only that, when he got up he said he was feeling tired from getting TOO MUCH sleep, and then said to me, in all seriousness, "You know the feeling?"





















Um, NO, actually I don't! He backpedaled pretty quickly from that one!


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