# What do I need to know about Spock?



## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Please share what you know, the good the bad and the ugly. My sister is expecting twins, and her husband is set on raising the kids by Spock. For some reason I worry about this, even though admittedly, I never read the book myself. I recommended Sears Baby Book to them, so I hope at the very least they'll buy and read both.









I tried to do some research on Spock, and what comes up doesn't sound that bad, at least Wikipedia points out that he encouraged moms to trust their instincts and to give each child what that child needs vs. schedule.

Please tell me what one needs to know about Spock.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

You probably don't mean the one on Star Trek?


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## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
you probably don't mean the one on star trek?

:d


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

O.K... I just went and looked a little bit. He's reallllllly been around a long time.

Since he started giving parenting advice, we have gone from glass baby bottles, to plastic, and back to glass.

I think I'd suggest he do a little research first. Maybe he can find someone who actually remembers childhood.

Maybe this guy is great though! I have no idea.


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
You probably don't mean the one on Star Trek?

No, I don't mean Mr. Spock, I mean Dr. Spock


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Huh. I wonder why he's so set on that? I wonder what he'll do if some of Dr. Spock's ideas don't work with his baby? Oh well... good luck to them! Sorry I can't give you more specifics.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

I think that he got more crunchy/AP over time. But I'm not sure why I think that. Isn't he dead?


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## baglady (Jul 13, 2009)

My MIL has the original Dr. Spock. She read me a passage on sleep training. He said to let your baby CIO for as long as it takes, even if the baby vomits. He said to sneak into their room after they are asleep to clean it up.

BTW. She wasn't advocating, just pointing out the horror.


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## MangoMommy (Oct 20, 2008)

Dr Spock is from a longtime ago, that's the book my mom had when I was a baby LOL. (in the early 70's) I don't recall much else about it.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I remember my mom talking about Dr. Spock, but she wasn't a fan, and didn't actually own the book. I do recall hearing that he changed some of his views in later editions, and became more in line with what I consider the right way to do things. But, I don't remember any details...of either the "old" Dr. Spock, or the "new" Dr. Spock.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
O.K... I just went and looked a little bit. He's reallllllly been around a long time.

Since he started giving parenting advice, we have gone from glass baby bottles, to plastic, and back to glass.

I think I'd suggest he do a little research first. *Maybe he can find someone who actually remembers childhood.*

Maybe this guy is great though! I have no idea.

Yep, exactly what I was thinking. LOL.

Dr. Spock did die in 1998. According to his wiki page:

Quote:

His ideas about childcare influenced several generations of parents to be more flexible and affectionate with their children, and to treat them as individuals, whereas the previous conventional wisdom had been that child rearing should focus on building discipline, and that, e.g., babies should not be "spoiled" by picking them up when they cried.
In 1989 he wrote a piece on circ, stating it was traumitizing and painful. I guess he can't be all that bad?


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

I remember reading parts of that book years ago when my sister's kids were babies. We always had a copy lying around in those days.

Not to be critical or anything, since I'm all for learning stuff by reading books--it's how I learned about human sexual reproduction--but it just seems odd to decide you are set on following a specific course laid out in a book when dealing with human interactions, like child raising. I mean, you know, when I started dating I didn't say to my boyfriend, "Hold on, I need to consult the LifeCyle Library Volume 2 and see what they have to say about this."









I know in that Internet fwd about how the US is going to Hades because we can't pray in schools, they blame Spock. _They said he told us we can't spank our children, and now no one spanks and children are all psychotic._ I think Dr. Spock was one of the first well known pediatricians to advocate a gentler approach to child raising. In the 60's, Norman Vincent Peale spoke from the pulpit, blaming the laxity of the 60s on two generations raised with his permissive ideals. http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/healt...pock_3-16.html

I think that Spock was the first person to go against the mainstream ideas at the time...the book was written in the 40s. I believe he influenced other people and changed attitudes and is a good jumping off point for further reading, but I don't necessarily see the point in only reading Spock or only going with his ideas. There is such a wealth of good books out there.

ETA: I do want to say that my mother and older sisters read Spock, and sleep training was not something I grew up with. I was put to bed with a bottle, however, and I remember my sisters putting their children to bed, but getting her back out when they were crying and wouldn't go to sleep. The actual leave them don't go in no matter what thing was something I didn't realize people even did until I saw that episode of that show with Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt that was popular in the 90s.


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## nerdymom (Mar 20, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
You probably don't mean the one on Star Trek?

Lol that was my first response also...









I looked at his website, and it seems OK actually! His article on cosleeping was fairly benign. http://www.drspock.com/article/0,151...havior,00.html If you scroll down, he discusses bedsharing and though I was expecting him to malign it, he was pretty factual and not negative at all. The site does seem to advocate CIO, but also offers gentler alternatives that are reminiscent of the NCSS. They do treat nightwaking as a problem, and not normative, which is a big problem in my book. Their information on breastfeeding is wishywashy, not bad but not great either. I think they are trying to toe the line and not sound too authoritarian. But they don't really make a strong argument for bfing, and definitely don't seem pro-extended bfing, but they don't sound against it either. Their information on birth is OK, but doesn't seem HB friendly. They did mention your increased risk for medical intervention like forceps and vacuum due to ineffective pushing with anesthesia, which actually surprised me.

My overall impression is that Dr. Spock et al are trying to please everyone, and they didn't accomplish that goal with me.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

They recently (and by recently I mean a year or two ago lmao!) did a tele show here in the UK based on three different parenting ideals. They filmed a few families following different methods. You had the 'Continuum Concept' family that co slept and breastfed and did EC and continously wore their baby in a sling. Then you had this other type of parenting (I can't even remember the name of it) but it was your classing start right off with a schedule, CIO, bottle fed, don't even look at your baby whilst feeding them (seriously!) type of parenting and then they has Spock! From what I remember spock was neither here nor there. It was VERY child centred. But also with the attitude that 'eh - if it works for you, then thats great!'. Now...no offence, but I do parent my child the way I feel is honestly best. I am understanding and realise that not every child is the same nor every parents circumstances - but I also do not believe that doing something different is just hunky dory if it works for you either. I am not taking about if you use glass or plastic bottles lol... The families in the show following the Spock method felt the breastfeeding was too hard so - not even at a few months old - switched to formula bottles for their babies (once again - understanding person I am - but breast _is_ best - if I was struggling or whatever, I would get the help I needed - not just switch to bottle feeding _'just because'_ ...there are some FAB woman here on MDC who go through so much just to keep offering their baby what is rightfully theirs and I do think/feel that is best)....Spock also seems to think that CIO is fine too ...if it feels right for you/works for you. See ...its that feel rights/works for you attitude that I don't like. Its not really always about that and I don't know how to better explain that. It doesn't seem to support any research done. I mean, if I have researched CIO - what has been done on it...I don't see how anyone could say 'eh, if it works for you - great - do it!' if they have read the research done on CIO imo.
I don't think he is all that bad - for the time he was 'revolutionary' in a way I guess. Compared to the ideals of parenting before him - well...hes like your Gentle Discipline to your 'mainstream' I guess. lol But honestly...hes outdated.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Since Spock apparently continued to learn about childrearing over time (something many pediatricians fail to do) does that mean your friend's dh is advocating doing things according to the baby's needs?

Or does it mean that he has a copy of an early edition of Spock's book and is planning to give the baby orange juice at 2 weeks old? (I don't know if Spock ever recommended that, but I know that some parenting books said to do that back in the 50's)


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

I got a Dr.Spock book with my first from my mom. This copy was from the early 80's. What impressed me was:

He believed in the baby rooming in with mom
He believed breast was best and had chapters on it and how to express milk
He didn't believe in rigid schedules for feeding
He promoted non-violence, loving your children for who they are, for parents to trust themselves, no spanking, and respect of children.

All in all, for an old book (and he goes way beyond the eighties) he was probably the first AP'er (who also said holding a baby is good, and cannot spoil a child, was against spanking and advocated natural parenting a la cultures where baby wearing and breastfeeding were the norm).

He was inspirational and ahead of his time!

However, since he hasn't written a new book since the eighties, I would suggest supplementing spock with something newer. However, I believe the tennants on children and psychological development will never go out of style.


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## IntrovertExtrovert (Mar 2, 2008)

Just reinforcing what others have said. There are newer editions of Spock's book out with a different author/editor since his death. It is more mainstream than most MDC parents would choose, but IMO it's closer to AP than it is to something like Babywise.

He advocates breastfeeding on demand as the first & best choice, but doesn't vilify formula. He advocates following your child's cues and doing what works for the whole family. He specifically says that you cannot spoil a baby by picking him/her up and soothing a crying baby. What I remember of the discipline information was definitely redirection for littles and more positive discipline for older kids.

But I don't remember him mentioning babywearing at all, and I don't remember his stance on co-sleeping.

Older editions will be very different. As others have said--he kept researching/studying and revising his findings as needed.


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## averlee (Apr 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baglady* 
My MIL has the original Dr. Spock. She read me a passage on sleep training. He said to let your baby CIO for as long as it takes, even if the baby vomits. He said to sneak into their room after they are asleep to clean it up.

BTW. She wasn't advocating, just pointing out the horror.


The very first edition of Dr. Spock's book, in the 50s, advocated non-touching. Do not touch your baby, except to change or feed. Do not breastfeed, too much contact. While handling the infant, keep your face expressionless and do not speak.
A bunch of parents took this advice and ended up with kids seriously scarred, damaged, attachment-disorder, and even several mentally retarded? He was forced to issue an apology and recant the book.
Regardless of how "crunchy" he became, or how AP his stuff from the 1980s seems, I would not trust a single word written by this dude.


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## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

My mom used Spock with me and it was actually the first (and only) parenting book I've read. I actually liked most of it. Honestly, the "do what feels right" part was a big part of what I liked...it gave some options but basically left the parenting up to the parent, unlike some seem to be.

My mom never used cry it out and always felt it was damaging emotionally, so I cant say anything about that part. Although, she did change her mind a bit with my 2nd-she was the kind of baby that if you put her in the crib to cry when you knew she was tired, she'd only give it a minute or so before she just went to sleep. That didnt bother me, but normally I'm not an advocate of CIO.

Anywho, it could definately be a much worse book! At least its not Ezzo or something ><


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *averlee* 
The very first edition of Dr. Spock's book, in the 50s, advocated non-touching. Do not touch your baby, except to change or feed. Do not breastfeed, too much contact. While handling the infant, keep your face expressionless and do not speak.
A bunch of parents took this advice and ended up with kids seriously scarred, damaged, attachment-disorder, and even several mentally retarded? He was forced to issue an apology and recant the book.
Regardless of how "crunchy" he became, or how AP his stuff from the 1980s seems, I would not trust a single word written by this dude.

I'd be really interested in reading about this. Do you have a link? Thanks!


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

My *Grandmother* swore by dr. Spock while raising my Dad and aunt.... they were 'on a schedule' from birth, and 'potty trained' (this involved rectal stimulation with a thermometer) before age 1.

I don't care how much he might have softened over the years, he scares the bejeepers out of me. Beyond that, he died over a decade ago, so to say he's not necessarily 'up to date' is an understatement. Get them some better reading material.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *averlee* 
The very first edition of Dr. Spock's book, in the 50s, advocated non-touching. Do not touch your baby, except to change or feed. Do not breastfeed, too much contact. While handling the infant, keep your face expressionless and do not speak.
A bunch of parents took this advice and ended up with kids seriously scarred, damaged, attachment-disorder, and even several mentally retarded? He was forced to issue an apology and recant the book.
Regardless of how "crunchy" he became, or how AP his stuff from the 1980s seems, I would not trust a single word written by this dude.

This really doesn't seem right from what I know about him and about that generation of children (boomers).

The method of parenting you are describing is Victorian and Spock was well-known to have utterly changed that parenting style, even in the 50's.

If I am wrong, please provide some data and I will change my view, but for right now I can't see anything to substantiate that.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
My *Grandmother* swore by dr. Spock while raising my Dad and aunt.... they were 'on a schedule' from birth, and 'potty trained' (this involved rectal stimulation with a thermometer) before age 1.

I don't care how much he might have softened over the years, he scares the bejeepers out of me. Beyond that, he died over a decade ago, so to say he's not necessarily 'up to date' is an understatement. Get them some better reading material.

He never, ever, ever advocated a schedule and was very much against stimulation to promote bowel movements.

He was an activist against war and was seen as too liberal by some who swore children needed a schedule. He was an revolutionary man.

I do wish people would read about him before they link abuse their grandparents did to his philosophy. It is not only wrong, but it saddens me.

Babies are babies are babies are babies whether it be in 1478 or 1986 or 2009. His advice spans the decades as pretty much how chidren should be handled. While babywearing and co-sleeping aren't discussed, they are also pretty self-explanitory. The psychology of children through the ages is what is key and he nails it.


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

It all seems so mixed! I can only assume that every edition changed a little bit (for the better?). I am very certain that they WILL buy that book, I just hope that none of the horrible stuff that people mentioned here is in the latest edition.

Thanks for the input! Keep it coming.
*Has anyone actually read the latest edition?*


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

"We've put a distance between mothers and babies. Before birth, babies are not only enveloped and warmed and nourished by their mothers, they participate in every bodily movement their mothers make.

After birth, in many of the more natural, nonindustrialized parts of the world, most babies are held against their mothers all day long by cloth carriers of one kind or another. They continue to share in all their mothers mobements as their mothers go about their regular jobs whatever they may be; food gathering and preparing, tilling, weaving, house care. The babies are breast-fed the instant they whimper. They not only hear but feel the vibrations of their mothers words and songs.

In many societies, as babies get a little older, they are carried about most of the day on the hips of their slightly older sisters.

Our society has thought up a dozen ingenious ways to put distance between mothers and their babies. It invented anesthetsized childbirth, so a mother misses the dramatic evidence of having carried and borne her baby herself. Babies are whisked away to a nursery where other people care for them, leaving mothers with the impression that they aren't very competent. Babies are fed cows milk from bottles, so mothers and babies lose the opportunity for the most intimate bond in child rearing.....

Natural childbirth and rooming in should be available for all who want them. Mothers and fathers should have their baby to hold and fondle, breastfeeding should be encouraged especially by nurses and doctors, and relatives. Mothers and fathers should try to use a cloth carier more than the infant seat for going places.... "

_Dr.Spock's Baby and Child Care_
1985 Edition


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

About breastfeeding...

"Why is it that throughout most of the world a mother's milk takes care of the baby for many months and that it's only in bottle-feeding countries like ours that the breast-milk supply seems to fails do early in a majority of cases?...I think there is one main reason. The mother here who is trying to breastfeed, instead of felling like she is doing the most natural thing in the world and assuming that she'll succeed like everyone else, feels she's attempting to do the unusual, the difficult thing....Her anxiety makes her feel sure that the bottle is the answer. And the trouble is that the bottle is always available. Probably she was given formula directions or packs of prepared formula when she left the formula "just in case"...In other words, the combination of a mother lacking confidence in her ability to breastfeed and the availablity of bottles of formula is the most efficient method of discouraging breastfeeding. To put it positively: The way to make breastfeeding a success is to go on breastfeeding and keep away from formula. "

Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care
1985 Edition


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## mommysarah5 (Jun 22, 2009)

from what I understand he was an advocate for gentle parenting , at least in the more recent years before his death. Though I don't think he is the best source of information, I like that his advice is MUCH more gentle then mainstream advice out there. Perhaps it's not something I love, but someone who is more mainstream may be able to accept this advice more easily then what they read form Dr Sears, which is what I like... that it makes some "hard" mamas realize its okay to be much more gentle, even if they don't quite cross the line into attachment parenting. Basically, I'm glad his info is out there, but it's not my go to source personally.


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## mommysarah5 (Jun 22, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
My *Grandmother* swore by dr. Spock while raising my Dad and aunt.... they were 'on a schedule' from birth, and 'potty trained' (this involved rectal stimulation with a thermometer) before age 1.

but she could have drawn advice in some areas from him, and then still followed the mainstream in other areas. Potty training before 1 was really common back then, and there were financial reasons involved (from what I understand) with that popular choice of the time.

purplemoon everything you are saying lines up with what I have read about spock.


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

From a quick search about him, he seemed very AP.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr_Spock

http://www.drspock.com/about/drbenja...,1781,,00.html


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

The thought of the emotionless Vulcan, Mr. Spock, writing a parenting book is scary indeed!









Dr. Spock, however, seems pretty benign as "parenting experts" go. If this is what your BIL and sis want to follow, I wouldn't step in. It sounds like your neiciews (since you don't yet know if they'll be neices or nephews or one of each) will be in good hands.

It certainly can't hurt to also get them a newer book (such as Dr. Sears), a subscription to Mothering Magazine, and/or invite sis to join MDC!


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

My mom saved the Dr Spock book she had when I was a baby to give to me. I'm not sure what i did with it, I think it used to keep the dining table from wobbling.


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## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

You really put my mind at ease!


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## aprons_and_acorns (Sep 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I mean, you know, when I started dating I didn't say to my boyfriend, "Hold on, I need to consult the LifeCyle Library Volume 2 and see what they have to say about this."











Viola you are one of the funniest gals around


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ann_of_loxley* 
They recently (and by recently I mean a year or two ago lmao!) did a tele show here in the UK based on three different parenting ideals. They filmed a few families following different methods. You had the 'Continuum Concept' family that co slept and breastfed and did EC and continously wore their baby in a sling. Then you had this other type of parenting (I can't even remember the name of it) but it was your classing start right off with a schedule, CIO, bottle fed, don't even look at your baby whilst feeding them (seriously!) type of parenting and then they has Spock! From what I remember spock was neither here nor there. It was VERY child centred. But also with the attitude that 'eh - if it works for you, then thats great!'. Now...no offence, but I do parent my child the way I feel is honestly best. I am understanding and realise that not every child is the same nor every parents circumstances - but I also do not believe that doing something different is just hunky dory if it works for you either. I am not taking about if you use glass or plastic bottles lol... The families in the show following the Spock method felt the breastfeeding was too hard so - not even at a few months old - switched to formula bottles for their babies (once again - understanding person I am - but breast _is_ best - if I was struggling or whatever, I would get the help I needed - not just switch to bottle feeding _'just because'_ ...there are some FAB woman here on MDC who go through so much just to keep offering their baby what is rightfully theirs and I do think/feel that is best)....Spock also seems to think that CIO is fine too ...if it feels right for you/works for you. See ...its that feel rights/works for you attitude that I don't like. Its not really always about that and I don't know how to better explain that. It doesn't seem to support any research done. I mean, if I have researched CIO - what has been done on it...I don't see how anyone could say 'eh, if it works for you - great - do it!' if they have read the research done on CIO imo.
I don't think he is all that bad - for the time he was 'revolutionary' in a way I guess. Compared to the ideals of parenting before him - well...hes like your Gentle Discipline to your 'mainstream' I guess. lol But honestly...hes outdated.

I like that "if it works for you" approach, because some women go through hell to feed their babies and can't do it. Spock focuses on the fact that the parents, in particular the mothers, are the ones raising these babies and have to make each and every decision for their family. Sometimes that means turning away from conventional wisdom, and sometimes this means acknowledging that the latest research will not suit their family's particular circumstances. He also acknowledges (and this is huge for me) that parenting is hard work and that mums need to take time to rest when baby does.
I have three different editions (one from the 60s, 80s and 90s) and the 90s was the least AP of the lot IMO. Honestly, Oriole, this isn't something to panic over. You could maybe complement it with a breastfeeding specific book, though?


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Sorry, doubleposted somehow. Still a spock fan though.


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## katmann (Oct 15, 2008)

My brother bought me the newest edition for my ds. I haven't referred to it lately, but it's mostly a handy reference for "what if my baby bumps his head?" or "what is this rash?". But I was impressed that there are instructions on how to fold cloth diapers and advice on breastfeeding.

Dr. Robert Needlman now writes the Dr. Spock book. He says sleeping with your baby is a matter of personal choice. But, he does say "I recommend that once your baby is three or four months old, you try to put her to bed while she's awake and let her learn to go to sleep on her own. You'll be glad when she begins to get herself back to sleep after awakening at night." While these are not explicit CIO instructions, that's how many parents could interpret it. The section on comforting a crying baby is very thorough and reasonable, however.

It's pretty mainstream, but much gentler that "What to Expect the First Year," which is the other book I was given.


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

I had a Spock book at one point (late 90s I believe) and it was just your normal parenting manual. IE- how to breastfeed, prepare a bottle, how many sleepers to buy, what happens if baby runs a fever, when to worry about certain illnesses etc. pretty benign and I really don't remember anything at all about CIO one way or the other.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

I gotta admit, I'd be almost as concerned with the statement "We'll be raising the baby according to Sears" as "We'll be raising the baby according to Spock." The problem is this idea that there is a be-all-end-all parenting expert out there whose ideas trump the parents own instincts and interactions with their child, as well as the expertise of any other advice-givers, in print, online, and IRL. I'm incredibly leery of the "parenting system" idea of child-rearing that some new parents fall into. I think a new parent who's inclined to read books should be provided with many books (good ones... I'm not advocating Ezzo or anything here!) and encouraged to learn from them but discard what doesn't work. I've learned from books that are generally more mainstream than what I tend to believe (for example, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child), and I've avoided advice from even the crunchiest, AP-iest texts.


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
The thought of the emotionless Vulcan, Mr. Spock, writing a parenting book is scary indeed!










(Beware: extreme geek moment ahead.)
Except his parents (especially his human mother) were very gentle and understanding.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

I think it's great that he found a book written all about his specific baby and all of his baby's particular quirks and what's going to work best for his exact family.

This is reason #423 why no child can be raised by a book, and why I've never READ a parenting book.

They're good for balancing wobbly tables and kindling.

Not much help, eh? LOL!


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

There is early Spock and later Spock. Early Spock was considered revolutionary because he believed that parent's know best and would make the best choices for their children. This was fairly original thinking for a generation where the Doctor on high was calling all shots. Later Spock even advocated a vegan diet as the healthiest choice. So, raising kids by Spock was at one time pretty progressive. The advice changed over time, quite a lot, and you have to give him credit for that.

But it is still a work of its time. CIO is common.

And can I make a suggestion, BUY them the Sears book now. Don't just suggest it. I've found it is the best way to get it into someone's hands, especially before the baby comes and they have some time on their hands.

I actually bought the current edition of Spock because I was supposed. Not really helpful for day to day parenting. But someone GAVE me Sears' book and that was...


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

I love Dr. Spock. The older edition was harsher about bedtimes etc. but he always started with "You know more than you think you do."

The new book is pro-vegetarian and reasonably AP. He also isn't that dogmatic about most things. But best of all the book MOSTLY focuses on child development, needs, and medical info.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *funkymamajoy* 
(Beware: extreme geek moment ahead.)
Except his parents (especially his human mother) were very gentle and understanding.

Mr. Spock operated on pure logic. Logic would dictate that nurturing and caring for infants, who are unable to care for themselves, is the best course of action. Personally, I think he'd be a good dad.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
"You know more than you think you do."

This may be the single most important thing for new parents, in general, to hear, imo. We're hit by a never-ending barrage of people giving us advice, and it mostly seems to boil down to "do what we say, because whatever you think, you're wrong". Parenting is hard. Parenting is even harder when you think you're doing everything wrong.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
This may be the single most important thing for new parents, in general, to hear, imo. We're hit by a never-ending barrage of people giving us advice, and it mostly seems to boil down to "do what we say, because whatever you think, you're wrong". Parenting is hard. Parenting is even harder when you think you're doing everything wrong.

This is why I'm SOOOOOO glad I had baby #1 before the internet was in every home and birth boards were being obsessed over by every pregnant and new mother. I had no "list of things they couldn't eat/drink/sleep with; no site telling me he shouldn't co-sleep, or should; no one telling me SIDS was lurking behind every corner"; the list goes on.

I was also 3000 miles away from home - no family or friends to lean on. It was amazing how much I enjoyed taking care of baby, instinctually KNOWING what to do - knowing breastfeeding, cosleeping, tummy sleeping, table foods at six months, you name it - I knew it without being told I was right or wrong!


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## katmann (Oct 15, 2008)

I heard an interesting tidbit on NPR this morning. Apparently before Spock wrote books, he had Margaret Mead as a patient (or her child, more specifically). She had witnessed during her work in Samoa that women there breastfed their children on demand. Dr. Spock thought that was interesting and encouraged Mead to do the same. Of course it went well, so his philosophy became that women should breastfeed their babies on demand, and that's why he was so pro-breastfeeding.

Not sure if the story is true, but it makes sense that in a time when bfing was frowned upon, his going against the grain would have come from someone like Mead, who made a career out of it.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

*"You know more than you think you do.
*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
This may be the single most important thing for new parents, in general, to hear, imo. We're hit by a never-ending barrage of people giving us advice, and it mostly seems to boil down to "do what we say, because whatever you think, you're wrong". Parenting is hard. Parenting is even harder when you think you're doing everything wrong.

ITA.
Storm Bride, Live long and prosper.

The advice is probably a bit stale and dated, my mom read him, and she is 75. However, he was probably radically ahead of his time in 1950, and imo, for that we should be grateful.


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## AniellasMommy (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I I didn't realize people even did until I saw that episode of that show with Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt that was popular in the 90s.

I was a young teen in the 90s. I saw that episode and remember telling my mom "how could they do that to their baby" I remember though they said right after she fell asleep "we broke her little heart." Ridiculous as it seems, I think I AP because of that show


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## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommysarah5* 
but she could have drawn advice in some areas from him, and then still followed the mainstream in other areas. Potty training before 1 was really common back then, and there were financial reasons involved (from what I understand) with that popular choice of the time.

Yup. There was, like today, a lot of parenting advice out there and I'm sure parents picked and chose what they wanted to do themselves. My grandmother had my dad potty trained by the time he was like 7 months old. Her way was pretty much like EC today, though, just knowing his cues, but it was a common thing back then.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SandraS* 
This is why I'm SOOOOOO glad I had baby #1 before the internet was in every home and birth boards were being obsessed over by every pregnant and new mother. I had no "list of things they couldn't eat/drink/sleep with; no site telling me he shouldn't co-sleep, or should; no one telling me SIDS was lurking behind every corner"; the list goes on.

I was also 3000 miles away from home - no family or friends to lean on. It was amazing how much I enjoyed taking care of baby, instinctually KNOWING what to do - knowing breastfeeding, cosleeping, tummy sleeping, table foods at six months, you name it - I knew it without being told I was right or wrong!

Quoting mostly just because I liked this post a LOT. I think all the information out there is probably doing more harm than good and if people would just observe their kid for a few minutes and get to know THEM, instead of rushing to the computer for advice, they'd probably figure things out pretty quickly and they would figure out what works for *their* kid.


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## Spring Lily (Sep 26, 2006)

I haven't read the books myself, but as a comparison to the other anecdotes about children raised by Spock...my mom used the Spock book as her major reference. She breastfed me in the mid-70s when that was really unusual (and got a lot of flak for it) and even did it about 2 yrs.







She also coslept with us, carried us a lot, never CIO'd, and mostly labored at home before going to the hospital. I think growing up knowing those choices existed made much of Dr Sears' opinions really normal and obvious to me when I was pregnant with my first and reading parenting books.

Of course people can pick and choose what feels right for them from any book, but even the Dr Spock edition from the 70s couldn't have been all bad!


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *averlee* 
The very first edition of Dr. Spock's book, in the 50s, advocated non-touching. Do not touch your baby, except to change or feed. Do not breastfeed, too much contact. While handling the infant, keep your face expressionless and do not speak.
A bunch of parents took this advice and ended up with kids seriously scarred, damaged, attachment-disorder, and even several mentally retarded? He was forced to issue an apology and recant the book.
Regardless of how "crunchy" he became, or how AP his stuff from the 1980s seems, I would not trust a single word written by this dude.

I think you're mixing up authors. Spock was never forced to apologize or recant. Edition after edition has been in print constantly since 1940.

I have the edition of Dr. Spock my GRANDMOTHER had when my dad was born in 1943. It says NOTHING of the KIND.

What it does say is, in the very first pages, the one thing my dad remembered from *his* edition, the first piece of advice he gave me as a parent.

*"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."*

He was writing in a time when yes, there were "parenting experts" writing books that did say things like "don't show emotion. Feed your children exactly x ounces at exactly x times." Spock was an early one to say "Look, as long as you do things safely and sanely and you listen to your instincts, you're going to be okay."

Grandma's edition, by the way, strongly recommended that babies be put to sleep on their backs. In 1940.


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