# What did you think/feel when you first saw your newborn?



## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

I've read a lot of 'love at first sight' stories here on Mothering, and also a lot of stories from women who _didn't_ immediately feel that rush of love when their baby was born. So tell me: what went through your mind, specifically?

I can't quite remember exactly what happened when DD was born, even though I have very clear memories of most of the birth experience. I remember thinking 'This feels weird' as she slithered out, and I dimly remember hearing the midwife and DH talking--DH was supposed to catch her, and he did catch her head but sort of dropped the rest of her on the bed.







So they were saying... stuff related to that... can't remember, I wasn't paying attention! I was squatting on the bed and Rowan was there in front of me, suddenly. I remember feeling a faint shock of surprise that she was a girl, as DH and I had been expecting a boy. And I remember feeling sort of relieved that she was cute (I know, I know, how shallow am I? In my defense, I'd just been through childbirth, my faculties were kinda on the fritz). And something about her cry... maybe a combination of 'Whoa, just like a real baby' and 'Aargh, now she's crying, how will I make her stop, I've never been a mother before!'? Plus of course the sheer relief that she was _out_.

And that's it, as far as I can remember. I didn't feel falling-in-lovey, or even particularly in awe at the Miracle of Birth or what-have-you. It was kind of surreal and mundane at the same time--very hard to describe, but certainly not what I've read in birth stories before!

So 'fess up, what did you think?


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## alyrie (May 27, 2007)

"Good God, she's huge..."

No joke...lol. I was expecting a 7 pounder or something. Not the 9.5lb babe in front of me!


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## crunchymamatobe (Jul 8, 2004)

I remember thinking that I was going to be a terrible mother, because my baby kept crying and crying. He was crying as soon as he was lifted out of the water and literally didn't stop for more than an hour.


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## MamaJenese (Aug 14, 2006)

With DS first I thought OMG he is giant (10 pounds 4 oz 24 inches). Then joy Like I have never felt before, I mean complete and utter happiness beyond my previous understanding of exaclty how happy I could be. Then with DD it happened again, so much so that as soon as she was out I was telling Dh We HAVE to do this again!


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## Mommal (Dec 16, 2007)

I thought "Oh crap, I have to take care of this thing now!!!" Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to see my kid and I did love her, but it was a more abstract sort of love for a while. It was like I loved the IDEA of the baby more than the real, crying, pooping, up-all-night baby. I didn't fall concretely in love with her until I got to know her better. But that didn't take long.


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## Lit Chick (Aug 15, 2007)

Shock. I was so focused during labor that when it was over, I was sort of in a void for a little bit.
My labor was fast and intense, and I remember that very clearly - being taken over by this incredible and kind of scary force, but working with it - I felt like I was plugged directly into the power of the whole universe. And then, I wasn't.
I held my son and said "hi baby", and snuggled him, and I waited to be filled by JOY, but nope not really. I was not depressed or anything, just really really out of it. I had not reconnected to my brain yet.
When my brain came back and I was fully me again, I felt... different. I've kind of never stopped feeling that way. It is a powerful, quiet, strong love. A very confident love.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

I feel horrible for admitting this, but with dd2 my first initial thought was "Dang, she isn't nearly as cute as Lilly."







I feel bad for thinking that and she has gotten cuter as she has grown, but I really didn't think she was that cute when I first saw her. I loved holding, and snuggling, and nursing her right after my c-section and I could have just gazed at her forever, but my first thought wasn't so nice.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

As best I can remember, my first thought was "so aka_chan is Lina, hmm, not as squishy-looking as I expected."


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## Oka-san (Jan 3, 2006)

The main thing I remember is being totally surprised by how she looked. My DH is Japanese, and somehow I expected her to also look completely Japanese, just like him but more delicate, a little Japanese girl baby. So after she came out and I saw her sweet, broad, part-Caucasian face, it just shocked me. She didn’t look a thing like I expected her to and it took me a long time to adjust to her appearance, at least half a day!


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## Monda (Sep 26, 2002)

"Wow this baby has great eyebrows!" <- no joke, the midwife said the same thing out-loud minutes after I thought it!


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

With my daughter, I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and joy and just downright amazement that I had just given birth to this beautiful little creature. It was so surreal.

With my son, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief that it was over.







:


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

With my 2nd she had had part of her ear stuck to her head which left her ear deformed with hair growing out of it (and a bald spot on her head where her ear had been). I thought how funny she looked but at least she was a girl and could grow long hair and cover it up. Then I thought, hmm she has a swollen lymph nod on the back of her head already. Yea it was so romantic lol.

With my 4th I saw him and he looked exactly like #2 who ended up being an extremly difficult baby. But I figured I had been through it before and could do it again. I should mention both of these were very traumatic births so I think that might have had something to do with it.

#5 my mother announced the sex as I was pulling him up to my body. So my thoughts were like, "Stupid mother, can't keep her big mouth shut. Oh well I will just ignore her and have my moment anyway." Then I turned my attention to my baby. Stupid mother, screwing things up. Argh.

With all the others it was like, "A baby, I had a baby - OH my baby!" lol Usually followed by thank-god you are out, kiss kiss, hug hug. Stuff like that.


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## ellemnop (May 10, 2008)

"Wow! She's finally here!" (she was 2 weeks late past her due date).

I also kissed her face like crazy.

Take care,
El


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## Shelsi (Apr 4, 2005)

With ds I was just tired and the birth had been so horrible I didn't have any connection to him. They told me I'd get to keep him for 2 hours before they'd take him to the nursery and I remember thinking, "oh God, I have to have him for 2 hours! I want them to take him now!" I know that's horrible but even though we purposely got prego with ds I don't think we were ready to be parents.

With dd I couldn't see her at first because I was on all 4's and dh was behind me holding her. I don't think it was love at first sight but I do remember holding her and thinking "wow, look at all that hair!"


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I remember how warm/hot she felt, how good she smelled, and how concerned I was that she was alive. Then I remember wondering about gender and discovering she was a girl. In the very first moments that is all I remember.

Then I remember when I was getting stitched and the midwives were dealing with my hemorrhage, looking at her in my friend's arms and wondering who she is, with excitement. I also thought, 'I am supposed to love you.' LOL! Sounds harsher than it was, but I definitely didn't love her yet in the way I love my big child or others who I am bonded with. And when she was crying I thought, 'I am supposed to care.' I knew people were taking care of her, and I was being medically attended to, but it wasn't that feeling of desperately needing to hold her and comfort her that I would feel even a few days later when she cried.

She was born at 4pm and because of the hemorrhage etc I didn't get to hold her for the first few hours really, and then not totally alone without my bigger kid around until 230am. I remember waking as she stirred, lifting her up and I spent the whole rest of the night staring at her, smelling her, etc. That was when I really bonded with her, when it finally felt like my baby had truly arrived.


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

Shock and "God, my vagina hurts". I will be totally honest and say that it took me a while to fall in love because I was in so much shock that he was actually here. I had zero signs of impending labor and had psyched myself up my entire pregnancy for going late. I felt like I was in a complete haze for the first few weeks.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

I fell in love a moment before I saw her. I'd been pushing for 6 hours, and finally decided on my own I was going to just push her out and tear (and that's exactly what I did). I pushed her head out and I was thinking "Thank GOD" (actually, the same thought was going through the heads of everyone in the room). I rested and waited for the next contraction. When it came, I felt her move her shoulders to turn. That's when I fell in love, it was a huge rush of love - "rush" is a good word, I just felt it kind of move through my body and even out through my limbs. I was thinking "oh my god, she's really alive" - not as opposed to dead, but more like wow, she's a real human being. I was overwhelmed because the movement was HERS and not my body's. I don't know if I'm really describing it, but that was the moment. Then she was fully born and honestly I don't remember my first look at her. I already loved her, and I was also in the "I can't believe I did it" mode.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

Awe and praise towards God














:


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## nigellas (Jun 18, 2006)

I feel kind of awful saying this, but at first I felt nothing. Nothing at all.

I think I was in some sort of shock - I had just finished 19 weeks of bedrest and my labor was very intense, painful and pretty much awful. When he came out I just felt numb. I felt like I had just survived a violent war or something.

It wasn't until later that evening when I finally came to that the love just poured out of my heart.


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

Where is the baby?? AHHH!! She is on the floor under me!!!









I gave birth squatting and I thought someone was going to catch her! I kinda looked around for a second then realized she was on the floor[it was like a one-two inch drop] After that I looked down and had a hard time telling the sex because of all the goo everywhere, thank goodness my midwife said hold your baby girl!


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## MegBoz (Jul 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
I didn't feel falling-in-lovey, or even particularly in awe at the Miracle of Birth or what-have-you.

Same here. But then again, I'm just not a "love-dovey" person. I'm just not romantic or mushy.

I think I was shocked it was over (I hadn't known when he was crowning, so I was surprised when the MW said, "OK, the head is out, one more push!") then I was surprised he wasn't crying. he was just looking at me! Ha!

Then I remember thinking, "OK, breastfeed now, let's go!"







I had viewed giving birth as a job I had to do - an athletic event - and BFing as soon as he was born was part of the "work" I had to do.


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## kitkat5505 (Feb 22, 2005)

DS#1 my first thought when I saw him was seriously "Oh good, he's cute!" I had really been worried about how I'd feel if I had an ugly baby lol, but he was the cutest thing and I wanted to hold him and cuddle right away but couldn't cuz the c/s. I didn't get to hold him for 2 hrs and when they finally brought him to me I was so happy to see him.

DS#2 I did not have the same bonding. I was so intent on having a vbac that when he came out I was thinking "I did it! Oh and this is my BABY, now what do I do with it?!" Almost like having a vbac was what I had been wanting without thinking of the actual result of a baby lol. Of course I loved him but I felt a bit disconnected for a while.

DS#3 I had an emergency c/s under general so I didn't see or hear him or anything for 4 hrs (except a pic Hubby showed me). It felt like he didn't even exist until I actually saw him. After the c/s I barely even thought of him for those hours, like my mind couldn't comprehend that I had a baby since I hadn't witnessed it. But once they put him in my arms I was in love.

It's odd but I've bonded faster with my c/s babies than my vbac baby.


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

I remember the feeling of pulling him up out of the water and feeling his "manly parts" in the palm of my hand. My first words were "I didn't even know I wanted a boy till right now!"


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## barefootpoetry (Jul 19, 2007)

With my first, they had taken my glasses away, so all I saw was a pink blob. I didn't see him clearly till 4 hours later. I was utterly exhausted from 46 hours of labor and a C-section, so I think I was thinking something along the lines of, "Oh, there you are. Can we go home and take a nap now?"

With my second, it was more like, "HOLYCRAPHOLYCRAPHOLYCRAPITSABABY." My first was handed to me clean, swaddled, and sleeping...no comparison to pulling a hot, bloody, heavy, floppy, stinky baby out of the water fresh from the source! It definitely rocked my world!


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## notwonamesalike (Nov 13, 2007)

Seriously? "God, can I have a shower now?"

I was hot, sweaty, in pain and exhausted. Labor made my rosacea flare up and I was so blasted hot all i wanted to do was let DH take care of the baby and go cool off.


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## Gena 22 (Jul 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MegBoz* 
Then I remember thinking, "OK, breastfeed now, let's go!"







I had viewed giving birth as a job I had to do - an athletic event - and BFing as soon as he was born was part of the "work" I had to do.

Me too! I put my DD1 right to my breast, and then after a few minutes handed her off to my husband. No time to be sentimental, I had another baby to birth!

Having twins meant I was really business-like between births, because more problems happen with the second twin. I felt a a little disappointed that I couldn't linger with DD1, just passed her along and concentrated on her sister.

When DD2 was born an hour later I relaxed. Or I would have if not for minor PPH'ing. And delivering the placenta. OK, then I relaxed and focused on both my beautiful girls!

My very first thought though was how big DD1 was. She only weighed 6.11, but was 21". She just looked like she went on forever. Bigger than I expected. Now of course she's going on four times that big and I think she's on the small side. What do parents know!


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## Ruthie's momma (May 2, 2008)

I remember thinking, "It is so nice to put a face to the name!" I felt like I already knew DD, very well. It was like finally getting to touch someone that you had been communicating with for a long time.

I am so appreciative of that first moment







because DD and I were apart for quite some time







. Each of us had to deal with a lot of complications. DD recovered very quickly. I was very ill for a couple of days.

Once we got back together again, we started off right where we had left off...







:


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Ds#1 "Oh my god, I have a baby!"







was my first thought, I was feeling like I was being turned inside out didn't even want to be there. I fell in love long before birth.

Ds#2 honestly I was a little detached during pregnancy, it's really hard to admit that. My first thought was "I gave birth I did it" then "wow, he's really hot" it wasn't until the room cleared out and I got to stare at my sleeping newborn that I fell in love.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Absolutely the most amazing, beautiful, perfect thing I have seen. I kept thinking "We MADE this?" WOW!!!!!!!!!!!







:


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Pretty much with all of them my very first though was "Thank God that's over!"
With our most recent it was a bit of a shock because he came so quickly, then there was the whole "Oh wow, it's another boy!" I thought his ears looked all crumpled and funny. They've gotten better since he's been born, they don't look like little weird bat ears anymore









I did feel lots of love for all of them, but DS1 and 3 I was a little shocked that they were here already.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

well, since my first was stillborn, with DS I thought "Is he breathing? Is he breathing? He's breathing! ... holy crap, I'm a mom!"


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

It was really more about me than about them.

With ds1: It's over it's over it's over it's over never again never again it's over!

With ds2: I did it! Oh my god I actually did it! I pushed a human out of my body! I am exhilarated.

As for the babies, right then they were like little aliens to me, each time. Bizarre creatures that were somehow secondary to the long process of getting them out.


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

each time I recognized them, it was totally 'hey, I know you'








and then, 'thank god it's over, I can't believe I did it' again

actually with my first I also remember thinking how humid she felt and thinking 'thank you God, I can't believe I get to have a baby!' she's here, really here!!!!

with #2 I was still out of my mind in pain and still outside myself but recognized him and I kind of 'came back' when he latched, thats when it felt real , and whamo then the intense love

with #3, I was so relieved she was blinking and alive and eventually when she took a breath and was rooting for me, i burst. I had such a fear she wouldn't come safely, which was very real, 2 true knots and an incredibley looong cord that we literally unwrapped her from. it was like nothing else. it was the birth that healed me in many ways but also put a different perspective on things.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Quote:

It was really more about me than about them.
It sounds awful, but I have to agree! My thought processes were very self-centred (not surprisingly really, I'd been focussing on MY pain and MY body for hours and hours!).

Quote:

Then I remember thinking, "OK, breastfeed now, let's go!" I had viewed giving birth as a job I had to do - an athletic event - and BFing as soon as he was born was part of the "work" I had to do.
Yes, that too! I was one of those mothers who didn't lose her modesty during labour, but one of the first things I said after Rowan was out was 'Quick, help me get my gown off', so we could do the breastcrawl! And then when I had the placenta fiasco I was making sure DH had her skin-to-skin while I was worked on... I guess it was the one bit of control over the situation we had at that point!

You know, I'm trying to remember the moment I 'fell in love' with the baby and I have no clue at all.







The first few hours were largely about me--being covered in blood, and trying to take a shower without fainting, and struggling into clothes so Mum could pick us up to take us to the birthing centre (we transferred from hospital). I remember the huge, horrible hospital pads more clearly than I do my newborn! DH was in the shower room with me to make sure I didn't pass out, and he was awkwardly holding the baby, and it was just odd. It was like 'Hmm, where do I put this if I need to catch my wife?'







You know? The two of us had just been through this very intimate, us-centred experience, and now there was an interloper!







Then during the next few days at the birthing centre I remember feeling very proud of her, but DH and I were both in the 'let's prove how good we are at being parents' phase and kinda hyped, gearing up for every night of broken sleep and so on. We both wanted to get home, because the whole birthing centre thing felt so surreal--almost like we were going to leave the baby there and go home and resume our normal lives, you know? The 'we have to keep this forever?' concept was odd, to say the least!

Man, it's only been nine months and I feel like we were really young when I look back.







That's trippy.

I love hearing your stories, keep 'em coming!


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## faithsstuff (Nov 30, 2008)

my first is almost two weeks old and I was feeling guilty about my initial response to him until I read this thread







. I had a great labor followed by a horrible c/s. I remember the nurse telling hubby to bring me the baby to kiss and all I could think was "if you put that thing in my face one more time...". After a bit of recovery time when he was brought to me I'm not sure I believed that he was mine until hubby reasured me.


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## georgiegirl1974 (Sep 20, 2006)

I couldn't hold her for a bit because there was a lot of meconium in my fluid. I remember staring at her (when the peds were working on her) and thinking, "wow, that's my baby. she's kind of funny looking." I felt bad for her because she was crying. Once they gave her to me, I remembered that I really wanted to breastfeed her immediately. Of course, I had no idea how to BF, so I just exposed my breast to her and she nuzzled it and licked it. She seemed so content being near my breast, even though neither of us were sure how to get her latched on. I didn't fall in love at first sight. Before I gave birth, I had a feeling I was going to cry and fall in love immediately, but that didn't happen. The whole experience was surreal. I was just so glad she was out adn I wasn't in labor anymore.

I know this sounds bad, but I also wanted the nurses to take her to the nursery so I could sleep for a while.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

faithstuff:







Don't feel guilty! I recently did a lot of research on traumatic births for a magazine article. One of the most common threads in all the stories I read was a feeling of disconnect from the baby, including the 'Is this really mine?' feeling you mentioned, and resentment of the baby for 'causing' the terrible labour/birth. It's VERY VERY common, and it doesn't make you a bad mother at all!

It's worth checking out the 'Healing After Birth Trauma' forum here, or PM me for links to other sites about traumatic births/traumatic C-sections if you like. _Whenever_ you like--often it can take months for you to really start wanting to process your birth experience, particularly because you're so busy now dealing with a newborn and C/S recovery! There are a lot of wise, helpful mamas here who have been there and done that, if you ever want to talk or rant or moan about it, just so you know.









Congrats on your baby!


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## christy005 (Mar 5, 2007)

I was surprised how much hair he had, and how little he seemed for being 8lbs, 7 oz. I also was amazed at how beautiful he was and how LOUDLY he screamed. lol. I truly did fall in love when i saw him.


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

Quote:

With my daughter, I felt an overwhelming feeling of love and joy and just downright amazement that I had just given birth to this beautiful little creature. It was so surreal.
That's very similar to how I felt. It was just a very odd, almost magical moment when there was suddenly another person in the room who wasn't there before. I definitely experienced the overwhelming feeling of love. Totally different than anything I felt during pregnancy. Just sort of unbelievable and surreal and cool. It was followed by a lot of stress immediately because she had to go to the NICU, but I very clearly remember that first moment was definitely different.


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## Thandiwe (May 14, 2007)

With my first baby, I was in awe and deep love. I got all teary-eyed, a real Hallmark moment. Of course, it was medicated with an epidural, so I was doped up. With my second (a home, water birth), I think one of the first things out of my mouth was, "Can someone take him please?" But I had to wait another 15-20 minutes because of the placenta. I was in an ice-cold pool of water in shock and shaking. The only thing I wanted was a hot shower. Once I warmed up I realized how handsome he was!!


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## Aka mommy (Feb 25, 2005)

I thought how tiny she was compared to her sister and that we must name her Kayleigh since it means 'slender'. Ends up she weighed the exact same 8 lbs 2 oz as her sis , but was almost 2 inches longer lol. After that initial thought, i immediately fell in love and thought how amazing and perfect babies dh and i make and how thankful i was to be a mother. I was also amazed at how ecstatic her birth was, and proud that i'd gotten my homebirth but disappointed in not doing a waterbirth.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

W/my first it was a really long and rough labor, so when she was finally born I had torn really badly and was in a lot of pain. I remember holding her and crying, everyone thought cause I was so happy to have her, actually it was tears of joy that it was over and she and I both made it alive. I had umpteen hours of back labor and the MD wouldn't let me in the tub, so I was really in agony. When I got to the pushing I had her out in three pushes so I ripped from stem to stern and was hemorrhaging pretty badly. I couldn't hardly sit for well over a month. Anyways I remember when she was a couple hours old and sleeping I was writing in her bb book about the birth, and I went to sign it and started to sign my name. Then I stopped myself and looked at her and said well, I guess I'm your Mom now huh? It was a weird feeling. I mean, I would have killed anyone who tried to hurt her, but I wasn't 'in love' with her right yet. I felt like I had to get to know her, and she had to get to know me, as weird as that sounds. I would hold her and stare at her, she'd stare back at me...literally for HOURS the first few weeks after she was born. It was neat







Now we're inseparable!

With my second my very first thought was OMG that is the FURRIEST thing I've ever seen! The first thing I SAID was "OMG she has hair on her BACK...and her EARS...and her LEGS...." Then I (and everyone else) realized she was turning blue and not crying/breathing and they took her away, she had to get intubated because she inhaled fluid on the ride out. So then I felt guilty just saying how hairy she was and I cried







Hormones, I'm sure, but MAN she was a hairy baby! She had this DARK BLACK hair all over her ears, back, arms, legs, it was sooooooo funny! It finally went away after about 4 months...but sheesh!

DH stayed with her and I kept thinking what is he doing? Then I realized he was with HER. OUR BABY. And it'd click that I just gave birth. Kinda. It was weird. Once she was pink and breathing ok I got her back and just held her and wouldn't put her down, I kept smelling her and rubbing my lips on her head. I think I 'fell in love' with her faster than I did her older sister, because I wasn't in pain (agony) like I was before.

I think it helped that I knew sometimes it takes a bit to fall in love like you hear about, so I wasn't too worried to NOT have that feeling right away. I mean, I loved them both right away...no one could take them away from me (just ask the night nurses







) but I wasn't gushy over them instantly.

Great Thread!
Bellevuemama


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## alfabetsoup (Jun 13, 2005)

With DD1 I was on my knees and the midwife caught her and laid her on the bed. I grabbed her and the only thought in my head was MINEMINEMINE. It was very intense, I think I would have slapped anyone who tried to touch her at that point. Then I thought, oh she is cute! And then I realized that she felt exactly the same outside as she had inside, I'd been feeling her bony bottom (6lbs2oz) and sharp heels for weeks. And I felt like I knew her already.

With DD2 I didn't get to hold her immediately since there was meconium and she had to get checked out by a ped. They gave her back to me a few minutes later and I just thought, Wow she is BIG. She was 2lbs heavier than DD1 and a bit longer. She was so alert and quiet, just looking around. There wasn't quite the same intensity as with DD1 but I did fall in love pretty quick!


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## lizzylou (Jul 11, 2006)

Total amazement that a baby had been living in me all those months, and that he was now here with me. I was a little bit shocked - I had waited so long for this moment and now it was completely surreal. I remember saying "oh my gosh, oh my gosh" over and over again. It was wonderful. I'm not sure if I would say that I felt love at first sight, but I definitely felt very attached immediately.


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## kssinca (Dec 17, 2006)

I'm so glad I found this thread! I'm getting nervous and having silly thoughts about the birth. What if I think my baby is ugly or what if I don't love my baby right away?! I'm so glad to see that not all moms instantly fell in love with their baby!

I was starting to feel like something was wrong with me because I'm not loving being pregnant. My pregnancy is fine and everything but I'm not reveling in it. So I am very relieved that not everyone is filled with this instant over powering love!


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

As soon as he finished slithering out (gawd that feeling was gross) I started shaking & crying & laughing. I was SO relieved it was over! It felt like forever before they handed him to me (it was about 2 minutes) & it made me laugh that he was coughing & sounding like an old man. When I held him & smelled him he just smelled SO good & right. I only got to hold him for a couple minutes & then I had to go get stitched up & DH held him for that hour. When I finally got to really hold him & nurse him I was surprised how much I knew him. It was like I'd been staring into his face my whole life.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Quote:

With DD1 I was on my knees and the midwife caught her and laid her on the bed. I grabbed her and the only thought in my head was MINEMINEMINE. It was very intense, I think I would have slapped anyone who tried to touch her at that point.








I love it!

Quote:

I was starting to feel like something was wrong with me because I'm not loving being pregnant. My pregnancy is fine and everything but I'm not reveling in it. So I am very relieved that not everyone is filled with this instant over powering love!
Don't worry. I love my daughter to bits, but I didn't really like being pregnant, and definitely didn't like giving birth. The baby and 'The Experience' are different things; you're normal.


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## Murihiku (Oct 2, 2008)

DS1 Oh, lots of lovely black hair. La la la la, I'm so glad that's over.

DS2 Oh, you're big. I wonder if you're a boy or a girl? Why won't anyone tell me? Am I supposed to have a look and see? La la la la, I'm so glad that's over.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

dd1 came to me wrapped in a blanket and hat already cleaned up. I thought she looked odd but it was also amazing. I'd never seen a brand new baby though.

ds was a homebirth and I was in love from the beginning but completely overwhelmed.

dd2 was a homebirth and I thought she was gorgeous and looked just like her siblings. I think I said over and over, "I'm so glad you are out." I had very little sleep from labor 3 nights in a row


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## mommy2two babes (Feb 7, 2007)

With my DD my first though was my baby girl is here.
After that it was OMG she is not inside me anymore and I didn't let her leave my arms even a second until we left the hospital.
With my DS he came so fast I was in shock. I think my first thought was OMG it's over?! I was scared I wouldn't feel as close to a son as I did my DD, but as soon as I had him in my arms it was pure love. Then how beautiful they were tandem nursing in our bed.


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## Lovin_Life (Sep 6, 2008)

I had a c/s and when they lifted her over the curtain...I was just in awe of how beautiful she was and also kind of like "It's you, totally makes sense". I just could never picture what she looked like and then when I saw her it just felt like I knew her and it was "right".


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Very first moment was shock: it's a baby! And s/he's looking at me!

ETA it was like I was expecting a baby, something for me to look at and love, but then he came out and there was _someone there_ looking at ME. It was such a shock to face the reality of that; I intellectually knew it before, of course, but I thnk that was when I really *got* it.

First words out of my mouth: "Oh baby! Oh my baby! Oh my Brisen!" Looking back I think it's fascinating that I named him as an object (what he was), then I possessed him as that object, then I named him as a person (who he was). It was all very fast, but I definitely went through that process.

And then I spent months in shock that he was blond. Don't ask me why, both of us were platinum blond as kids, but still. I wasn't expecting it.


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## newmommy27 (Apr 22, 2005)

the first thing I thought and said was

"thank you so much for coming out of my vagina"

everyone in the room thought that was super funny...she was a vbac


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## brightonwoman (Mar 27, 2007)

first thought (after 23 hrs of labor)
He's OUT!!!!!

second thought (and first comment)
did somebody get the time?!

third thought
dang, he's hairy!


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## akwifeandmomma (Aug 13, 2005)

DS1 - Total relief and exhaustion after 3.5 hours of pushing, and total awe at his cute little squishyness. I said, "I can't wait to do that again!" within minutes of his being placed on my chest, too. And I remember yanking the gown off to get him to my breast, I was so excited to feed him.









DS2 - "Wow, that was fast!" (Ha! Only pushed for 15 minutes.) Then, "WHOA, he looks just like DS1!"

DD - "Holy crap, I just had a baby in my hallway!" then "Oh my gosh, we have a girl!" then "I can't believe I did it. I DID it!"


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## battymama (Jan 15, 2008)

Poppy kicked herslf out so she came a bit quicker then i was expectin







i was in shock for a few seconds and i was waiting for dh to pick her up out of the pool. Then i finally realised he wasnt going to so i picked her up, as soon as i looked into her eyes i fell in love







: i hated bieng pregnant and didnt really bond during pregnancy







: but once i actally held her it finally clicked that it was her in there! (i know big logic leap there







) I put her straight to my breast worrying that i had left it too long! oh no a few seconds! and she latched right on, we just chilled like that for awhile, i kinda forgot anyone else was there, just looking at each other. Then then i started to get after pains, but i wanted to know her sex beforee i handed her over- i was worried about droping her as i was tired an shakey. I had thought she was a boy all throughout pregnancy so when i looked i kept thinking "boy boy boy!" and this little voice in the back of my mind said "thats a vulva, its a girl." but i just couldnt make sense of it until my midwife genly said "shes a girl" I am still in shock over that.

I really did not like pregnancy! i loved giving birth and having a newborn, esspescially those long newbie nursing sessions. But i have decided to have fewer babies because it was so horrible for me. Sorry baby is helping me type


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## Emily's Mama (Apr 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MadameXCupcake* 
Where is the baby?? AHHH!! She is on the floor under me!!!









I gave birth squatting and I thought someone was going to catch her! I kinda looked around for a second then realized she was on the floor[it was like a one-two inch drop] After that I looked down and had a hard time telling the sex because of all the goo everywhere, thank goodness my midwife said hold your baby girl!










A similar thing happened to me....I was on hands and knees sort of leaning over a beanbag on a mat and I also thought someone was there to catch DD, but nope! No one even saw her crown or come out. I didn't even realise she really had come out until I heard my hubby say, "Oh, sh%#" and he and midwife and doula all rushed over. Midwife said, "look down, look down" and I was a bit stunned to be honest. There was a BABY lying there!!! And it had come out through my vagina!!!







:

In my mind during pregnancy I was absolutely 100% convinced that I would cry when I delivered my baby this time. She was born via VBAC and I always thought that it would be so emotional, as I am generally quite emotional, and when I visualised her birth it would actually make me cry. But when it finally happened I just kind of looked at the goo and the baby and felt sort of, well, little. I was even a bit nervous to pick her up, like I wouldn't know how. I think I was just a bit overwhelmed and analytical about the birth and what I had just been through. But I did feel more connected to her than I did with my first C-section daughter, both then and in the first couple months.


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## 3pink1blue (Jun 23, 2008)

Mine was different for each baby, but I definitely felt a strong maternal bond to them immediately.

With DD1, I was very surprised. I remember just saying "Oh! It's a baby!" like I was expecting puppies or something.









DD2 had a lot of difficulty at birth, and I was heavily drugged. I don't remember feeling anything, even as she was being resuscitated. Her APGAR was 2 and 4, so she had quite a bit of trouble at birth, but I was so drugged, I didn't even care.







Once I came out of it, I was angry and felt cheated of our birth experience, and I had a much stronger sense of protection that I had with my other children.

DD3 would not stop crying, I and remember thinking, 'My God, what's wrong with her?' I was also surprised at how big she was, 9lb 10oz. I had guessed she'd be an 8 pounder.

DS was my most amazing, peaceful birth. He was so quiet after his inital cry, and I was just in awe of him. We just stared at each other. I had wondered what it owuld be like to have a boy, after 3 girls. Part of me didn't know how to love a boy. Well that all changed the minute we laid eyes on each other - there's no difference in how you love a boy baby. Now I can't believe I even felt that way.


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

I remember being amazed that she had hair before she was out and we could see her head crowning. I mena I knew she could have hair, but actually seeing her hairy little head coming out of my body, I was just amazed. After that first look in the mirror I didn't take my eyes off her until the mw got in the way to catch her.

I don't remember my thoughts having words right after she was born. Dilating had taken forever and I had been on the verge of considering giving up and consenting to a section so I was gearing myself up for hours and hours of pushing. 30 min into pushing she slid out all in one push. My sister told me later that the mw kind of bobbled her because she came so fast.

I rember before I even saw her the mw saying, "Wow she looks like daddy" and "you want her on your chest right?" I think I nodded, or maybe I just reached for her. I was relived and surprised, mostly relived at first. Then I started looking at her. She was covered in vernix, which I thought was kind of gross, but remembered that you should rub it in because its good for their skin. So I started doing that. I remember wanting a blanket so I could cover her and noticing her little cone head.

Then they took her to do all the stuff, which they did right in the room les than 5 feet from me, but I still wanted her back. I was beign stitched up and kept trying to look through people to see my baby. My sister was great about telling me what they were doing, but I wanted my baby.

I remember being really annoyed with the nurse giving her a bath. She spent forever trying to get all the vernix out of DD's hair. I must have said, "I don't care about the vernix, give her back." or some variation of that 10 times.

When I finally got her back I was so amazed at how alert she was. She looked right at me, met my eyes, and I swear she knew me.

Next time I'm refusing the bath and any thing else they need to do they can do it while I hold her or they can just wait.

The "mama" link in my sig is a pic right after dd was born.


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## Rivka5 (Jul 13, 2005)

I remember feeling such a weird sense of disconnect - like, "how could this whole, perfect, separate individual have come out of my BODY?!"

And I worried because she cried right away and there was meconium and I thought they'd said it would be dangerous for her to cry before being suctioned. But my midwife and the nurse looked so happy that I quickly realized everything must be okay.


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## jennert (Oct 22, 2008)

"oh thank God! he's got detatched earlobes." really. that was my first thought. my husband has attatched earlobes and i HATE them. so my beautiful boy was given to me and i could only sigh with relief that his earlobes were like mine and not like his daddy's!


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmommy27* 
"thank you so much for coming out of my vagina"

Oh man that is TOO funny! I thought the same thing with my first. My mom had all c-sections so I was scared for some reason I would need one too. My girl was posterior so I pushed for over three hours but I thought the same as you, I just didn't say it out loud!


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

My first words when he was born were "He looks just like Stuart!" (my brother)

My first thought was Thank you God, related to the statement above. I had been praying for him to look like me/my family because of trauma surrounding the male donor of his genetic material. My prayer was answered and that was all I could focus on for a good while after he was born, I was truly grateful.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

"Thank God this worked out okay!" I had planned a homebirth that turned into a planned hospital birth during the last few weeks due to high blood pressure. I was so afraid of giving birth in the hospital. I felt that I needed to be so on top of everything to make sure that no interventions would happen without my permission and to make sure that no one would vax my baby or smear his eyes with goop while I was dealing with a PPH. It wasn't until later that I was really able to digest what had happened.

My next thought was "How the heck am I going to BF this baby with all of these people in the room?"

I was also so sure that I would cry after DS was born. I cry at the end of every episode of A Baby Story, after reading birth stories... I was tearing up reading this thread! But when my own child was born, I was too busy worrying about the little things to really enjoy the moment.

This time around, I know my MW so much better and have much more trust in her. I think I'll be able to relax a lot more and just enjoy things.


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## DandeCobb (Jul 20, 2006)

DS (my first) was a quite traumatic hospital vaginal birth and he needed resucitation after birth, so he is laying there on the table, silent and they are bagging him and i'm thinking "i have to protect him, he is my responsibility, I have to protect him" i was saying out loud "is he okay? what are his sats? has he started breathing yet? is he okay?" of course, they were too busy to answer me. DH was standing right there with DS just smiling and saying "we have a baby" (i am a nurse, DH is not and had NO idea that was happening was not normal) After he was okay and cleaned up and i was stitched (from top to bottom) they brought him too me and i undressed him and inspected him all over, dressed him again, looked in his face and fell in love.

DD was a section after a long hard labor, but she cried even before they held her up and i thought (and said) "oh, that's her! I know that voice!" (lol, like it might have been someone else's baby crying in my surgical room!). After recovery they were wheeling me into the PP room and before I am even in there i was saying "bring my my baby, I want her, someone go get her" I was so sore and very upset that i could not really look her over, so i started nursing her and she pulled off after a second and was staring me and that's when i got the 'love rush'.

You better believe when we got home 2 days later the first thing i did was get DH to strip her down and hold her next to me so i could look her over. I kept feeling like i wouldn't recognize her if i hadn't seen her whole body? is that weird?


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## Mal85 (Sep 3, 2008)

*DandeCobb* I'm really here just lurking, getting ready to have my first so I'm interested to see these responses. My sister has had 4 babies and said the same thing everytime. The first thing she did as soon as they were all wiped off and given back to her was to completely unwrap them and look over their entire bodies. Like she had to memorize them to know them. With her third birth, her daughter was unresponsive at birth and once they got her breathing they immediately took her to be checked out. Turned out she had a really bad heart murmur and they were suspecting Down's (turns out she has Brittle Bone Disease, but was completely unrelated to the not breathing at birth). My sister just got to hold her for a minute before they transferred her to a children's hospital with a NICU. She said what killed her the most was that until they brought her home over a week later, she couldn't look her over the way she had with all her other babies. She felt like she couldn't really connect with her until she could do that.


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## mamabearsoblessed (Jan 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DandeCobb* 

You better believe when we got home 2 days later the first thing i did was get DH to strip her down and hold her next to me so i could look her over. I kept feeling like i wouldn't recognize her if i hadn't seen her whole body? is that weird?

not weird at all~ I had to look and touch mine all over, it was definitely a recognition thing with me too and a very natural need


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## MoonJelly (Sep 10, 2004)

The nurse brought DD over and said "look at those rosebud lips!" And I looked right at them and they were really just the most perfect little lips. I am really thankful to the nurse for saying that even though I am sure I would have eventually thought the same thing on my own. She gave me something to look right at and focus on and it will be what I remember most forever. I probably wouldn't have needed that if I hadn't had the c-section (i.e., been subdued from the medication) so I don't know if that was her motivation or just coincidence.

Of course my recollection now is much sweeter than the moment actually was, yk? But that's okay. Especially when I look at the picture of that moment. That little face is so precious in sort of a funny and sweet way. There's just something about those brand new faces that makes me laugh but in the best way. It's like a "what am I doing here exactly?" kind of look.


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## Jilian (Jun 16, 2003)

With both of my boys I was exhausted from pushing and just sort of layed back after they were born. DS1 was born in the hospital and the MW placed him on my chest and I just layed there for about 3 mins and then said "I need to see what he looks like!" and then checked him out. Then he pooped on me







I layed there with him for a while. Honestly, I was more shocked that I had a drug free birth than anything else.

With DS2 I was really tired again and he was born (at home this time) with me squatting. The MW helped ease him out (so he didn't plop on the floor). And for a few seconds I was just stunned and happy it was over. Then the MW said "you can pick him up". For some reason that didn't even occur to me, so I picked him up and my first thought was "he has red hair, where on earth did he get red hair from?"







Then I told him we did it and I was proud of him. With DS2 it was more instant love because I knew what it meant to be a mom. With DS1 I had no idea what I was getting into so it took a few days.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Hmmmm....I think my reactions were stunned and awestruck, at the same time.

The intense "falling in love" come a few days after we get home with the baby. I'll be nursing the baby and look down at him and suddenly not be able to breathe because I'm so overwhelmed with love for him.


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## Haselnuss (Sep 20, 2008)

With all of them, the strongest feeling I had was relief that the birth was over with. The first time, I also felt a combination of awe, surprise, and sort of overwhelming responsibility at having a real, live baby all of a sudden (I was barely 21, and felt a bit like she'd dropped out of the sky, somehow). I always felt some worry about the baby's health in the mix of emotions too, and with my 3rd daughter I admit feeling a twinge of disappointment that she wasn't a boy. Oddly, my reaction to having a 4th daughter was to laugh - I felt a bit like it was some kind of cosmic joke that I "only make girls" and there was nothing left to do but laugh about it - with her, I also had a sense that the two of us had just been through a battle or something together (her birth was very fast and seemed violent to me).


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## Liquesce (Nov 4, 2006)

I really have no idea. I know what I said and did, but not what I thought, and if there are words in english for that particular package of feelings I certainly don't know them.

That's not entirely true. I know with my son I was thinking that he didn't look anything like his father. And that I was glad that he wasn't ugly. (The two thoughts together NOT meaning to imply that I thought my kids' dad was ugly







... just that I kind of wanted a mini-him, so long as we were having a son, and, separately, that I had been reading way too many ugly baby tales here on MDC around that same time.)


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## Asher (Aug 21, 2004)

I am so not a love at first sight kinda gal!









#1 ~ "Oh my gosh! She has a penis!!!" (We were told @ 16 weeks that we were having a girl. Didn't find out otherwise until HE came out.)

#2 ~ "Ummm...wow hon. He looks like a miniature version of your grandfather." (And that was NOT a good thing! hehe Thankfully he's a handsome kid now!







)

#3 ~ "Holy heck! THAT is what hurt!" (She had two nuchal hands when she came out.) Quickly followed by "She is TINY!" She was like 6.11lbs and we were expecting around 8lbs.

#4 ~ My first thought was honestly "OMG! It's over?! Already?" and "I DID IT!!!" b/c water break to being born was less than 3hrs and I did it all myself including delivered her in to my own hands which I've never had the pleasure of doing before.

I'll fully admit that I did not think ANY of mine were cute when they were first born.


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

#1 - She looks like an alien (I was pretty spaced out from a medicated birth).
#2 - OMG, she has hair (DD1 was a baldy).
#3 - OMFG (unplanned UC, I caught her and held her in front of me and we just kinda looked at each other in shock).


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## Serenyd (Jan 6, 2008)

With #Ds1 I was just glad for it to be over. I was more concerned with his dad bonding with him than I was, I made him go with him when they took him for the routine stuff, and then I had to get stitches, so I was worried about that. It was the middle of the nite so I didn't protest when they took him to the nursery and I got some Z's. With Ds2 of course it was a totally different scenario, as he was born unassisted in the middle of the day. My #1 concern was that he start breathing right away, and when he did, my second thought was just one of grateful relief and excitement that it was all over and everything went well. Bonding went a lot quicker with my 2nd than with my first, probably because I was less exhausted and not drugged, and I had more privacy and fewer interruptions. It was just the birth we needed and I had wished for ... it was really a perfect, exhilarating moment ... holding my newborn against me, relaxing and getting to know each other. We stayed like that for probably about a half hour before someone started fussing about me needed to deliver the placenta.. but I guess bliss wasn't meant to last forever!


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## rockycrop (Jul 31, 2007)

I had a homebirth and gave birth while squatting. I do not remember who caught her or who handed her to me, but I remember very vividly holding her and thinking "Huh. Alright, so this is you." She looked nothing like I had imagined her looking, and I did not feel an immediate connection. It was like I had been introduced to a stranger. I had been up for about 40 hours at that point (little did I know I was nowhere near some rest as my placenta would not be delivered for another 2 hours). I was so tired.

But, as I got to know her I began to love her more and more and more. She's 18 months now, and I still feel like I'm getting to know her.


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## LokiPuck (Jan 11, 2003)

The end of my labor was very fast and intense- I only pushed for twenty minutes.

I was kind of still in La-La Labor land when they laid DS on my belly. I was first amazed at how warm he felt. I was also suprised by his full head of thick black hair.

DS didn't really cry right after he came out. He mostly just squirmed a lot and made some snuffly sounds. I kept thinking, "Why isn't he crying, shouldn't he be crying?!" I remember saying as much to the nurses, wondering why he wasn't screaming his lungs out like they show babies on TV doing, LOL!


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## Juniperberry (Apr 2, 2008)

I am very relieved to read some of your responses on hear because I have had a weird time with #2.

With #1 I was so totally in love from the second he was born. I thought he was the most beautiful baby in the world.

I expected the same for #2..

But when #2 was born I felt very strange. His little face was so squished and not at all like #1's... I tried to feel that overwhelming connection that I felt with #1 and couldnt. It's taken a while for me to really bond with him and I feel so awfully guilty and horrible for it. Now I love him to pieces and I feel connected to him. I could write alot about my feelings on this..it's been troubling me a lot


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

I didn't immediately feel a connection. I was tired, happy, in pain, and confused. My thoughts were:

"Wow! Thank goodness she made it." DD had a very rough start and the operating staff during the c-section didn't think she was going to make it. Long story.

"Wow! She looks nothing like me. Could they have accidentally switched the babies?" They took DD to the NICU right away so I never saw her in the operating room. DH followed them to the NICU at my insistence and he said there was also another baby there with the same last name as ours and that baby also had the same doctor as me. I thought for a second that DD was their baby not mine. It's funny now because DD clearly is my daughter.

"Her head is very pointy". She had a very pointy head for a week because of all the hours of pushing.


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## Astraia (Jan 1, 2009)

When my daughter was born, they just made sure she was crying and put her on my belly. My first reaction was to pull my shirt up so she could go skin to skin, and then my first thought was, "she's so WARM!" (I don't know why that was surprising). I was also really surprised by what she smelled like in those first few moments- she smelled like warm would smell, ha.

My next thought was that it really WAS a baby. My whole pregnancy I had no connection to her, really, because I had trouble believing anything was really in there, and I even said in my dazed state, 'It IS a baby" and my sister asked, "what were you expecting?" I replied, "I don't know, an alien or a fish or something?" which made everyone laugh.

We did a homebirth at my inlaws, and after her birth DH went to sleep (he'd been up more than 24 hrs) and I sat in the living room with my mom and sister and MIL for hours with my baby, naked except for her diaper and wrapped in a blanket, and just looked at her various parts and memorized what all of her looked like and talked over the birth. It was great to just sit here and talk over everything that happened, how I felt, what surprised me, the best and worst parts. It made it seem more real somehow?

I actually cried when we put clothes on her (the next day) because I loved looking at and touching my little naked baby.


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

I felt very different after my private births than after my observed/managed/directed births, but the difference didn't have to do with a "falling in love" feeling. With my professionally attended births I felt completely disconnected from the baby. There was really no feeling whatsoever, aside from tiredness and relief. With my private births, I remained in an altered state of consciousness after labor ended, in which the baby's existence still felt entertwined with mine, as it had during pregnancy, and I felt like I _knew_ her, like she'd always been with us.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I thought it was odd that she didn't look anything like me. The babies in my family all have downy white fluff or red fluff, not thick dark hair. My dh has dominant genes so I shouldn't have been surprised. But that's really all I thought. That and how tired I was, and how glad I was it was over.


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## eurobin (Aug 20, 2006)

I thought, "Thank God she's out." Then I was glad she was crying and ok but I still felt detached. Then I wanted apple juice. I was so d*mn thirsty!









I felt a certain kind of love and desire to protect her right away but I didn't really mind when they whisked her away to weigh her and stuff. I just felt almost like I was watching it happen from the outside looking in or something. I didn't really "fall in love" with her until she was 9 weeks old. Then it just hit me and I really got it. And I haven't looked back.


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## Dabble (Jun 14, 2007)

"I did it. It's over" were my first thoughts as I felt his body slide out. My first words were "Oh my baby. My baby." They put him up onto my chest immediately and his little crying face was looking up at me and I thought "Who are you?" in a sweet kind of filled-with-wonderment kind of way, because he didn't look how I expected. Then I made several vows to myself that I was never ever ever going to do this again, and started thinking about how we should go about adopting any subsequent children.

I remember later when DH was holding him right by my head while he was crying and the midwife was trying to tell me something while she was stitching me up and working on my PPH and I couldn't hear what she was saying and I thought (but didn't say) "take that away!" and realized that I had just thought of my baby as "that" little noisemaker. It took a little while for me to fall in love with him but immediately I felt a fierce protective urge, thinking "this one is mine!"

DS2 (oh yes, those never-doing-this-again memories do fade), again I thought "I did it, that's it! He's out!" and I remember thinking and saying "Aren't you a funny little fellow!" because again he defied what I expected him to look like. He also had some funny little facial expressions that were amusing to watch. I think I fell in love with him more quickly because I knew what to expect and wasn't so "out of it" with the pain and PPH.


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Honestly, I barely remember. The whole experience was so endorphin-laced, it was like being on a whole heck of a lot of drugs. I remember how weird it felt when the baby's head came out, and I remember sitting there and feeling like it was kind of inherently absurd and humorous to have a baby's head sticking out between my legs. Then I pushed the baby out, and he was born in the caul, so it took the midwives a little bit to clear it off him before they handed him to me. I can't remember the first moment I laid eyes on him, it's all such a jumble in my memory. I remember lying on the sofa nursing him a few minutes later, and looking at his tiny fingers, and feeling quite happy and content, in kind of an oddly everyday and mundane way. I clearly remember giving the baby to DP to hold while I took a hot herbal bath and drank a cherry coke.
The baby was born right after midnight, and the next day is practically a total blank. I know DP went out and got us breakfast tacos, and we slept a lot, and the midwife came over that night, but I have zero memory of the rest of the day.


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## Biscuits & Gravy (Jul 17, 2008)

With my newborn DS I thought "Oh thank GOD you are finally out." I think I even said that to him.


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## amydidit (Jan 21, 2005)

With DD1 I thought "Oh, it's over now." and then a few minutes later I thought "Huh... she's pretty alert, I didn't think she'd be alert like that." I never really bonded with her.

With DD2 I felt the *expected* rush of love. Followed by annoyance with my midwife because she kept pushing me to eat scrambled eggs, and I wasn't hungry.


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