# Cesarean Section Support Thread August 2005



## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

This thread is for support only and not to debate the necessity of cesarean birth. This is a place to moan, complain, bitch, mourn, share the joy, thoughtful decision, cesarean birthplans, etc and all are welcome!


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I am now six weeks post partum from my third csection. Yesterday I went to have an IUD inserted, believing this would be the best form of birth control until we could decide 100% that we wanted no more children. Unfortunately it did not work out. My cervix has never dilated, and it appears to be small. They couldn't even get the "tool" in my cervix to dilate it enough to insert the IUD. It was some of the worst pain I have experienced and I nearly passed out, twice. My OB tried several times and finally said there was no way she could do it. Of course I was in pain and my husband was saying "She really doesn't have to have one, I'll just go get snipped."

So now I am bleeding and cramping again. Ugh.

And after yesterday, abstinence is going to be our birthcontrol.


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## malibusunny (Jul 29, 2003)

checking in...


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Hi everyone,

Just checking in. I'm doing fairly well. I didn't participate much in the last thread, but I did lurk and read alot. Some days, I feel like I've totally accepted my c-births and am OK with them. Other days I just feel hostile about it. Particularly when people make stupid comments. Like "what would have happened to you 100 years ago???" Ugh.

Anyway, I could write more, but my cat is nudging my hand with his nose, making typing particularly difficult.


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

sorry double post


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

Yah, checking in. Still "analyzing" my c/s and trying to figure out whether to go that route this time or VBAC. Not easy to decide anyway, and no support at home or from extended family for VBAC, never mind my own uncertainty about it.

sorry to hear about your IUD problem onthefence. But abstinence just ain't no fun! Hope you find another way.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Finally found the new thread!!!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SKK*
Hi everyone,

Just checking in. I'm doing fairly well. I didn't participate much in the last thread, but I did lurk and read alot. Some days, I feel like I've totally accepted my c-births and am OK with them. Other days I just feel hostile about it. Particularly when people make stupid comments. Like "what would have happened to you 100 years ago???" Ugh.



Sue
I can totally relate.. More days than not, I am now feeling ok with my sections.. but other days thinking about them can get me down.. tho it seems to be getting better

Hello to everyone!!

Chantal


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Hello ... I'm now almost 21 months post-c/b and I'm doing ok with it. I seem to have no residual problems (except for excruciating periods and ovulations, which I think is just due to bfing hormones).

We're going to start ttc #2 sometime this fall in hopes of a summer or fall 2006 baby. I would like a VBAC, but in all honesty, I see many advantages to a planned r/c/s and am not completely closed off to the idea as I once was. I think I will just have to wait and see how I feel once I'm actually pregnant! I have a supportive mw, as well as family and friends, so the decision is really up to me. I guess my qualms are that I'd prefer an HBAC (but have no mw to attend), and if I have to go to the hosp. and deal with all the protocol, well I might as well just have a r/c/s, if that makes any sense.

So ... sometime this fall or winter I will hopefully have happy news and you all can listen to me bitch and moan and complain and whine about having to make this decision!

PS: Kim ... sorry about the IUD issues. I hope you find a more fun solution to abstinence ...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Hi, Kim - sorry to hear about the problems with your IUD. I hope you and your dh can work out something for birth control soon. Abstinence wouldn't be my preferred route!

And, hi everybody. Just checking in. It's 12 days since my 3rd section, and I've been better.

We moved yesterday, which unfortunately highlighted all the things I hate about c-sections. My SIL got on my case for moving a doll stroller out of the way when the guys were bringing in the washer and dryer...the thing weighs _maybe_ a pound. I spent the whole day looking after Evan and letting people know when Emma was taking off as I still can't pick her up or anything. I listened to everybody joking around and having fun - you know that "work party" kind of camaraderie. I just felt so low not being part of it. The feeling that I'm completely useless is becoming overwhelming and it's bringing me down badly. DH has spent days packing, and now he's spent the whole weekend moving us and unpacking a _lot_ of boxes. I'm still just breastfeeding Evan and yelling for help with Emma.

My oldest son's summer vacation has been really blown by the fact that I've needed so much help with his sister. (Emma's an extremely spirited young lady, and has been really wound up with me being gone for three days in the hospital, the new baby coming home, the move, and me not letting her climb on me and not picking her up.)

And, I just keep thinking that if I'd just stuck to my guns a little longer (and risked losing my doctor) or if my useless body had just gone into labour a day sooner, it wouldn't have happened. My SIL, whose last baby was 10lb., 1oz., told me yesterday that I was "lucky you didn't have to push out a 10-pounder". I half wanted to burst into tears and half wanted to hit her. I wanted to push out this 10-pounder more than I've wanted anything in a long, long time. And, maybe I am lucky....but the point is that I don't know, and I'm never going to. I think the realization that I'm never going to know what giving birth actually feels like is finally sinking in, and I'm not dealing with it well at all.

I'm more mobile and having a "better" recovery than with either of my others. (*If* dh and I have another baby, I'm going to insist on labour first - I hated the planned section with Emma the worst of any of my "births". But, that fourth baby is still very much up in the air and not looking likely.) However, my incision is not healing that well. I had to have a second set of steri-strips put on last Wednesday, and they came off today. The incision still stings, and doesn't seem to have closed up. I also think it might be seeping a little...guess I'll get my doctor to look at it during Evan's well baby checkup on Wednesday.

Anyway - we might get out computer hooked up tonight. The internet connection was done this afternoon, but I'm currently using dh's work laptop. If the computer doesn't get set up tonight, I won't be around until tomorrow evening. Thanks again for reading my rambling rants, ladies....


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## WriterMama (Mar 27, 2002)

Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?

In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?

When could you have sex again?

What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?

Thanks









ETA one more question: Assuming you had a non-emergency C-section, how long before your edd was it scheduled?


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm 12 days post-section - my third.

I could drive after five days, but only short distances.

I can't pick up my toddler yet, and probably won't until the six week mark. It _might_ be safe a little bit before that, but I have no way to know until I try...and I don't want to rip anything out.

I could stand up and walk a little after about 24 hours, but that's just the "walk around the ward" and going to the bathroom stuff. A 5-minute walk to the grocery store today totally exhausted me.

I've found sex too painful (ie. pulling at the stomach) to the 2-month mark with both my previous sections.

The pain in my incision was gone after six weeks with my first section, but numbness remained for months. With my second one, there wasn't much numbness, but I had some pain until about six months post-partum.

There are a lot of variables, and mine have all been different. I can't think of much that I would have changed if I could go back in time...except that I would have been a very "difficult" patient about having my baby with me immediately after the surgery. I had that this time, and it did make a big difference.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?

Initially, I think it took me 9 weeks to feel normal in the way you describe.. At 9 weeks I remember feeling like things were all coming together nicely and I was starting to feel back in "control" again
As far as walking.. I was up and about a few hours after my surgery. Sitting was fine.. getting up out of the couch hurt for some time..

Quote:

In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?
2 years...

Quote:

When could you have sex again?
around 8 weeks pp

Quote:

What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?
There is a nice white paper on planning a family centered c/s I can email you. Other suggestions I have are, take it easy, let others do the work around the house and just rest and focus on recovery. Ask for help..

Anyone see the newest study on Double Layer sutures and reduction in adhesions and scarring? I have the text of it if anyone wants it. To sum it up, as I understand it, many Drs are not using double layer sutures and that causes more adhesions and scarring internally which can put future pregnancies at risk and also cause lots of post op pain for a long time. The authors seem to have found that those women who had double layer suturing had less adhesions and less scarring..

I know that this seems true for me. I had double layer sutures for both C/S and no issues with adhesions and the Dr said internal scarring at the incision site was minimal from #1 when he was in there for #2..

Chantal


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## Mama Coltrane (Sep 30, 2004)

Hello everyone- introducing myself here. I am 39 weeks pregnant with my second child. I have a VBAC planned, but I am ready for anything that may come our way. My first c section went well. I would love to avoid surgery this time though. We'll see.... I have an awesome family practitioner and am giving birth at a birthing center in a hospital. I have a doula too who is coming to the house early labor and joining us at the BC mater on.
My first c section came after about 60 hours of labor and 8 hours of pushing. Wow- it was a marathon. DS was posterior and not budging. It wasn't an emergency and I was treated with great respect. The birthing center I had DS in is very hip to mother/baby bonding, nursing, etc.
I keep writing this everywhere and reminding myself something that someone wrote on these MDC boards. " Empowered birth takes many forms. " It is so true. That is my mantra as I enter into this next labor and birth.
Wish me luck. I will keep you posted.
- Kerri


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## Boof (Dec 1, 2004)

:


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## LisaG (Feb 23, 2003)

Signing up.


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## Iriemama96 (Jun 24, 2005)

Hello all...
well, I have decided to have a VBAC. Although I am terrified. So many unknowns. I am very concerned about baby being posterior and not being able to take the pain. Last time I had an epidural at like 17 hours, with horrible back labour and ds #1 wasn't even posterior. This time around I am already in pain at 37 weeks.
My concern is that I will not be able to handel it and end with an epid. again. Anyone have any suggestions as far as dealing with the intense pain of labour goes?


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?

In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?

When could you have sex again?

What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?

Thanks









ETA one more question: Assuming you had a non-emergency C-section, how long before your edd was it scheduled?

With my last two csections I felt pretty good by the end of the first week. With my 2nd csection I was driving 7 days post partum, I had a toddler and let him crawl into my lap, I did not pick him up. I was having sex three weeks post partum both times. This past csection, the one I had six weeks ago, I waited to drive and do other things until week 3. However I was released to drive, vacuum, take a bath, etc at 2 weeks post partum. I have resumed my normal life as of now, however I do have some cramping if I do too much. I resumed cleaning my house at 6 weeks post partum the last time, my father hired someone to clean my house as a gift those first weeks which was nice. This time I hired a cleaning girl myself.

The first time it nearly took a year, the second time about 3 months, this time my incision feels great. Keep in mind though my first csection was an emergency and I was hacked up a good bit, these last two were by skilled surgeons in a very planned enviroment.

With my first csection I resumed sex at 4 weeks post partum, these past two three weeks. You really should wait for bleeding to stop (the initial bleeding) and the cervix closed before having sex. Don't want to get an infection. However I felt up to having sex and had the desire to have sex days after my first and third csections.

I think you should read the other thread if you have time. I recommend getting helping, asking for help, and I also recommend sutures throughout, plus taking pain meds before you need them. Eat well, sleep when you can, and try to at least obey the doctors orders for your at home recovery.

I am sure there is more.

Kim


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
I had a toddler and let him crawl into my lap, I did not pick him up.

You know, I keep reading this...but I have yet to see any suggestions about what to do when your toddler _won't_ climb into your lap. DD usually just wails "I want mommy" over and over and cries and cries. I don't think I can stand much more of it...

Maybe if I pick her up and rip things open again, the surgeons will pull the whole malfunctioning works out and this whole thing will be over. This recovery started off as my best, but it's going downhill fast. I'm almost resenting dh and the kids for keeping me here, because life holds no interest for me right now. Of course, I fully expected the PPD, and I'll get over it...again.

I wonder if it would make a difference if I really believed that any of my sections were necessary in the first place...I think it might. I just feel like a sheep who let the doctors trash my life for no reason at all...


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## rn (Jul 27, 2003)

After reading through this thread I am hoping a few of you who have had more than one c-section may be able to answer this question.

Were any of you told of the status of your scar tissue w/ a second (or 3rd) c-section? I guess I am looking for someone who was told they did have a lot of scar tissue and then went on to have another healthy pregnancy and baby.

I just had my second. I was attempting a HBAC, but never even went into labor. My midwife drove me to the hospital when my baby started showing signs of distress (poor movement and heart rate). After the operation the doctor who did the operation told me that there was a lot of scar tissue and if I got pregnant again I should tell the OB, (for the next c section).

So, I am sort of left in limbo right now, wondering and worrying if a lot of scar tissue that was after one operation is now even more than a lot after the second. I wonder if the scar tissue can prevent me from becoming pregnant again and "growing" another baby? Did any of you multiple c section mamas have this fear?

I should also add that my son died. And I do think my fear is probably made worse by the fact that I am grieving and want nothing more than to be holding my sweet baby in my arms right now.

thanks for any input cesarean goddess women,

~robin


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
You know, I keep reading this...but I have yet to see any suggestions about what to do when your toddler _won't_ climb into your lap. DD usually just wails "I want mommy" over and over and cries and cries. I don't think I can stand much more of it...

Maybe if I pick her up and rip things open again, the surgeons will pull the whole malfunctioning works out and this whole thing will be over. This recovery started off as my best, but it's going downhill fast. I'm almost resenting dh and the kids for keeping me here, because life holds no interest for me right now. Of course, I fully expected the PPD, and I'll get over it...again.

I wonder if it would make a difference if I really believed that any of my sections were necessary in the first place...I think it might. I just feel like a sheep who let the doctors trash my life for no reason at all...

I only have a minute before I have to go to bed. But I just wanted to send you a







, Lisa. I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Are you seeing someone for your PPD? I know how hard it can be...I had it after all 3 of my kids were born.
Hope you are feeling better soon
















OTF--Call me sometime


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Lisa







I agree with Ligmom.. you should not suffer through ppd alone.. please think about seeing someone.. Feeling like life holds no purpose is not something that should be brushed off or ignored.. Please talk to someone,,









Robin
I am so sorry for your loss...









Chantal


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## LaughingHyena (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?


It took me about a week before I could sit down/stand up without thinking about it althou I think I was taking painkillers for about 10 days.

It the UK it seems that many insurance companies insist on 6 weeks before driving or they won't cover you so I waited till then. I think I could have happily driven earlier.

Again I was advised to wait 6 weeks before hovering, hangin washing etc and I saw no reason to strart any earlier than I had to









Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?


It's now a year and day to day my scar has felt fine for months but it can still be a litle tender if touched too much.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
When could you have sex again?

I think it was about 3 months before it I was comfortable

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your

Take the pain killers boefore youa re in pain. I was also advised by my midwives to watch DDs latch very carefully as with the pain meds I might not be so aware if it was'nt too good.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WriterMama*
ETA one more question: Assuming you had a non-emergency C-section, how long before your edd was it scheduled?

I was booked in for a scan at 36 weeks to decide if my placenta had moved, if not we would have planned the c/s then, however DD was born at 34 weeks due to complications.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rnweiss*
After reading through this thread I am hoping a few of you who have had more than one c-section may be able to answer this question.

Were any of you told of the status of your scar tissue w/ a second (or 3rd) c-section? I guess I am looking for someone who was told they did have a lot of scar tissue and then went on to have another healthy pregnancy and baby.

thanks for any input cesarean goddess women,

~robin

After my first csection I was left pretty butchered, uneven scar and bad adhesions. I did go on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. My second OB cleaned me up real nice. She fixed my outside incision and removed the adhesions. At my last csection, my third, when my current OB opened me up, she remarked at how little scar tissue I had and how well everything looked. I think many variables come into play with this, one is skill of surgeon and one is the person and their recovery.

Hopefully the surgeon who did your last csection cleaned you up a bit, removing the adhesions and fixing things. I am not sure if you will want to try for anothe VBAC but if not, choose an OB based on their skill. I wouldn't necessarily recommend my OB to someone wanting a Bradley Birth, but I would definitely recommend her for those who wanted csections.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantald*
Lisa







I agree with Ligmom.. you should not suffer through ppd alone.. please think about seeing someone.. Feeling like life holds no purpose is not something that should be brushed off or ignored.. Please talk to someone,,









Chantal

I agree with Ligmom and Chantal. Get help. I take drugs for PPD and don't regret it.

Ligmom, I will call you soon! Things have been wild here.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

I never did answer Writer Moms questions about when my csections were scheduled. All of my csections were done at 38 weeks, two of those were based on US dating and one was based on my last period.
However this past time I think my baby was more like 36-37 weeks based on characteristics at birth.
In an uncomplicated pregnancy I would try for the 39 week mark. It would mainly depend on why you were scheduling a csection. Most OBs with breech babies like to deliver them around 37-38 weeks because they believe it decreases the likely hood of prolapse cord or feet presenting out the cervix. For me personally, had I has a transverse or footling breech baby, we would have gone in at 37 weeks. Babies presenting buttocks first I would wait a little longer. Placenta issues are another whole ball of wax. Those of us with uterine deformities would need to consider size.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Thanks, ladies. But, I'm not seeing my doctor about this. At the moment, I don't trust my doctor enough to talk to her about anything, and this least of all. I was bullied into this section by a threat of withdrawal from my case at 41w, 5d. It has not left me feeling kindly disposed towards doctors in general, and less so with my doctor in particular. I also have no desire to discuss the aftermath of their "good outcome" with them. I've taken anti-depressants in the past, although not for PPD. But, this time I don't want them. I've been through this with both sections, and it will fade away to a great extent once I'm fully functional again. The limitations placed on me by the recovery process just bring me down very badly.

I don't like asking for help - I don't like getting help - and I really hate being jumped on every time I try to do something that somebody else thinks is beyond me at this stage of my recovery. Once I can pick up Emma again, things will be a lot better. I just need to work through things...and I may find a new doctor in a few months. I've been at that practice since I was born (although the doctor who delivered me is retired), so it's a hard decision. But, I don't know if I'm ever going to trust them again.


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## rn (Jul 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
I think many variables come into play with this, one is skill of surgeon and one is the person and their recovery.

Hopefully the surgeon who did your last csection cleaned you up a bit, removing the adhesions and fixing things. I am not sure if you will want to try for anothe VBAC but if not, choose an OB based on their skill. I wouldn't necessarily recommend my OB to someone wanting a Bradley Birth, but I would definitely recommend her for those who wanted csections.

thanks for your input, and no I will not try for another VBAC and will schedule another c section. I just want a baby next time. To me how the baby gets out has become a non issue.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
but I have yet to see any suggestions about what to do when your toddler _won't_ climb into your lap.

After my second section, if DD wanted to be picked up, I would sit down on the sofa and ask her to climb up on the sofa next to me for a snuggle. But my DD is a bit older (she was about 3 1/2 at the time of the C section), so was a little more open to reason.

And FYI, you don't need to see a doctor about PPD. In fact, I would not recommend that at all, since most OBs receive very little training. If you wanted to see someone, I would consult a therapist who specializes in PPD or PTSD. They can also prescribe meds if they and you think it would be helpful. But I also understand wanting to deal with things in your own way.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

"How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?"

With my first section, I was driving 10 days afterwards. With my last section, I took a little longer because my scar felt odd. I saw my OB and he suggested that it was because I had a new scar growing on top of the old scar. Regardless, its fine now. As far as picking upn my DD, she is 35+ pounds, so I did not life her until 6 weeks. For full energy levels, that took me about 10-12 weeks.

"In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?"

Well, I still have an occasional twinge from my latest section in April, but not what I would call pain. I was at the gym exercising at full tilt by 12 weeks post partum. With my first section, I had regained pretty much full feeling around the scar, but it was over 3 years between my 2 sections.

"When could you have sex again?"

After my first section, we waited almost 3 months, but that was more the whole lack of sleep caring for a newborn thing. This time we had sex for the first time at 5 weeks, but in all honesty the first few times hurt a bit. Not in my scar area, but vaginally. All is normal down there now though and has been for a few weeks.

"What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?"

Get out of bed as quickly as you can. Ask to have your catheter removed as quickly as they will, shower and eat regular food. All of that will make you feel better. Wear your own clothes in the hospital. Wear tight shorts (like exercise compression shorts) to sort of "hold things in". Be active, but not too active. Stay on top of your pain meds for the first week and that will help your ability to be up and active.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
...eat regular food...









:

I listened to the nurses with my first section and never did pass gas. I finally lied after 3.5 days, because I felt like I was starving. With this section, someone screwed up in the kitchen and put me back on a normal diet the morning after my section. (I was going to lie that morning, anyway.) Getting that meal into me improved my morale tremendously, and certainly didn't hurt my physical recovery any. DH also went to the grocery store and bought me a stash...a couple smoothies and some yogurt (because it was soooo hot in the bed they put me in) and a bunch of fruit...all juicy stuff, like grapes, plums and peaches. I was _very_ careful to eat enough fiber and have lots of fluids...constipation is _not_ fun to deal with after a section. I had that problem with my first, despite (because of?) the liquid diet.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
And FYI, you don't need to see a doctor about PPD. In fact, I would not recommend that at all, since most OBs receive very little training.

I wouldn't see my OB about that, anyway. If I saw someone, it would be my family doctor, but she was also very active in pushing me into this last section, and I have a lot of issues with her right now.

When I saw her for Evan's first well baby checkup (last Wednesday), she told me I "did great" with my section. I don't even know what to say to comments like that. All I did was get led to OR like a lamb to slaughter and then I spend half an hour fighting down terror while they prepped me for surgery. I don't see how that's "doing great"...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

umm...have any of you ever had your incision become infected? If so, what were the signs? I think I have a bit of a problem here...

I'll be seeing the doctor tomorrow, so I'll have her check it out then.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Lisa























I think I recall the signs of a wound infection to be: hot to the touch, tender, red, perhaps oozing..















Can you find a MW that you can trust to see for your post op/post delivery care.. ??









Chantal


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

With my first I was on a "liquid" diet until I passed gas.. with my second I asked the OB about the whole meal thing before hand.. and he said I could eat whatever I wanted as soon as I wanted.. and that the whole "pass gas" thing was bogus... I had my section at 11:30 pm and had french toast, coffee, eggs and bacon at 8 am the next morning...

Chantal


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantald*
With ...I asked the OB about the whole meal thing before hand.. and he said I could eat whatever I wanted as soon as I wanted.. and that the whole "pass gas" thing was bogus...

My OB told me this time that I should just lie to the nurses, as they were really into that whole "pass gas" thing. My mom said she only ever had problems with my brother...in 1963, when they were still doing routine enemas...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantald*
Lisa























I think I recall the signs of a wound infection to be: hot to the touch, tender, red, perhaps oozing..

hmm...it's red, tender, and oozing a little. It also seems to have an odd smell.








I haven't noticed if it's hot or not. But, there's definitely a hole where it hasn't healed at one end, which concerns me.

I'm also really fatigued, and it seems excessive. I'm getting more sleep than with either of my other babies (Evan's really easy), but I'm more tired. Maybe it's because we moved 11 days after the surgery, but I don't really think so.

I'll talk to my family physician tomorrow. I don't really feel entirely safe with her right now, but I do think she's able to deal with this. The worst she can do is try to put me back in the hospital, and that's not happening.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
The worst she can do is try to put me back in the hospital, and that's not happening.


She may Rx antibiotics.. if so..make sure you watch for signs of thrush, take lots of probiotics and if you are nursing, give some to the baby, they sell baby probiotics here in the US.










Chantal


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Lisa, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I've never had a pp infection, but it definitely sounds like something you should get checked out. I'm really sorry that you don't trust your doctor right now. Is it possible to see someone else about the infection? Just let me say, I read your story and I feel so sad that you felt railroaded into another c/s. That's just terrible.

As for me, I think I'm going to go the local ICAN meeting next week. Even if it never changes anything for me, I think I will feel better if I can help others in some way. Maybe I can get involved like that.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SKK*
I've never had a pp infection, but it definitely sounds like something you should get checked out.

This is the first time I've had any problems, also. I don't know for sure that it's an infection, but I can't imagine what else it would be. I'll see the doctor in a couple of hours, and see what she says.

I find this a little ironic, really. All the pressure from both of my doctors to have another c/s was based on their overblown concerns about VBAC and post-dates. They wanted a "healthy, happy" mom and baby. Well, Evan's as happy as can be, but mom's definitely not doing so well - which I knew would be the case at the time (although I was only counting psychological factors), but who listens to the mom? One of my doctors told me that I could have PPD even without a c-section. While I agree with that, I find it interesting that mine has cleared up _every time_ as soon as I'm fully physically functional again...


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## melixxa (May 20, 2003)

Robin, i am so very sorry about your baby.

[nak + typing on a keyboard from which the space bar was removed this morning by dh12 - very slow]

i'm checking in! i wanted to add to what others have written. i was feeling so good at the 2-wk pp mark that i overdid it. lifted my 30-pounder a lot (he demanded), etc. and i had a total relapse: bled for over 6 wks; much increased pain in my uterus, along incision, in entire general abdomen; had one terrible pain incident in the middle of the night and almost went to the ER (MW thinks it was uterus healing unevenly, a fold opening up); felt generally lackluster and ended up not feeling up to driving for about 3 wks.

Now it's 9 1/2 wks and i feel normal.of course i could not possibly imagine dtd yet. i can't stand the thought of something touching my incision, though it doesn't hurt - just feels oogy, even just the skin there. i can't imagine wearing tight exercise pants -that would hurt like hell. i'm all in loose-fitting trousers + underwear and know i will be for months. i'm all about the comfort right now.

i know it's important to get up again and get fit after. i just want to caution people not to do too much. i also took painkiller for 2 wks - seemed necessary, though i also think it masked pain that would have warned me to do less.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've quit taking any painkillers for that reason. Pain is a sign from my body that something is wrong, and I don't want to miss it.

Well, my doctor said the incision is infected, but she doesn't think it's too serious. She prescribed an antiobiotic ointment and I have to clean and dry the incision, apply the ointment, then dress it with gauze daily. She also took a swab and sent it to the lab to rule out and "funky bacteria" as she put it. So, she didn't dismiss it, but also didn't freak out. I hope that's a good sign...


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

Robin, sorry to hear about your baby. Take care of yourself during this sad time!


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

Robin,

My apologies for not seeing your post sooner--I didn't mean to overlook it. I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby







My heart goes out to you...I am thinking of you and your family









Lisa--glad to hear the doc doesn't think it's a serious infection. Did you mention your PPD? Hang in there, girl...things will get better


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Hi,

This is my first time posting on a c-section thread. I am 4 weeks out of my first section tomorrow. My first birth was a vaginal birth and I am now having many issues with this birth. I had planned on going to a freestanding birth center because I hated my labor with my first birth in a hospital. We were so prepared this time...took bradley classes the whole works. IT was supposed to be this great birth and my husband was supposed to catch our son.

Well for some reason in the 40th week of my pregnancies I swell up and my blood pressure elevates. So I got sent to the hospital for induction at 41 weeks after an ultrasound that showed little fetal movement and no fetal breathing (heart rate was a-ok), then after an NST and high blood pressure (wonder why) I was transferred to the hosp for induction. Thankfully my contractions started on their own...probably from stress.

They still gave me pitocin and I lasted almost the whole way. However I was complete twice....first time after transition the water bag was holding my cervix complete then when it broke I went back to 7cm because baby's head was not there. So I hit transition again.

Anyway in the end I guess baby was stuck...I know perfect...was he really? I am sure you are all thinking. His heart rate was declining and that is all you have to tell a laboring woman to get her to agree to a c-section.

So here I am. I did go to an ICAN meeting the other night which was helpful but there are so many people I know having babies and why do I have to be the only person that had a c-section. The ONE person who absolutely didn't want one.

And I am sick and tired of hearing "well you have a healthy baby that is all that matters"....yeah of course I am happy to have my baby but can't I mourn the birth I didn't get too? Of course all the people that tell me this had vaginal births. And then I get the "well you did have a vaginal with Riley so you did get that expericence once at least".....WHO FREAKING CARES!!! I want that experience all the time!

Ok see hostile..I think someone else said they felt hostile. I don't want to feel this way.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
...there are so many people I know having babies and why do I have to be the only person that had a c-section. The ONE person who absolutely didn't want one...

















Oh - I know what you mean. I know so many women who have the "oh, a cesarean would be okay" attitude, and none of them ever had a problem with their labours. I never ever wanted one, and never had any reason to expect them, until this last one, and I've ended up with three. I never expected life to be fair, but sometimes you just want to scream...

Quote:

And then I get the "well you did have a vaginal with Riley so you did get that expericence once at least".....WHO FREAKING CARES!!! I want that experience all the time!
I have to admit to occasionally thinking this, just because I sooooo want to know what a vaginal birth is like. But, I'd never ever say it, and I don't really believe it, anyway. Having a c-section is having a c-section, whether you've had a vaginal birth before or not. If you really don't want one, other births have nothing to do with how you feel about this one. I'm so sorry it turned out this way.

Quote:

Ok see hostile..I think someone else said they felt hostile. I don't want to feel this way.
I feel hostile...sometimes more than others. I don't like feeling that way, either. But, sometimes I feel as though I was mugged and beaten and everyone's telling me to consider myself lucky. It's hard not to be angry. All I can say is give yourself time. If you're like me, you're never going to be okay with having the surgery, but it does get better over time.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

And, just let me add...you have _beautiful_ kids!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Robin: I'm so sorry. I somehow missed your post, and someone's reply made me go back and read it. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel right now. I'm sorry you lost your little boy.









As for your questions. I've had three c-sections. I don't know anything about the state of my scar tissue, as I've never asked. I do know that my doctors were totally okay with me VBACing, until dd turned out to be breech. So, I don't think they were concerned about my scarring.

After my first, it took me 3.5 years to get pregnant again, then I had three miscarriages. I was definitely afraid that something had happened during my first section that had left me incapable of growing a baby again. It was depressing and scary and I had several really bad years. However, I now have two more healthy children...dd was born 10 years, 2 months after my first. All I can suggest is _try_ not to let the fear overwhelm you too much. Each pregnancy is different and having a bad outcome once doesn't mean it will happen again.

Best of luck.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
I have to admit to occasionally thinking this, just because I sooooo want to know what a vaginal birth is like. But, I'd never ever say it, and I don't really believe it, anyway. Having a c-section is having a c-section, whether you've had a vaginal birth before or not.

I am sorry. I guess I should think of the people who did really never experience a vaginal birth. My mother never did as well. She had 2 cesarians.

Quote:

But, sometimes I feel as though I was mugged and beaten and everyone's telling me to consider myself lucky.
YES!!!! I am going to use that quote. I hope you don't mind. If you are mugged and beaten you would still feel violated.

Quote:

And, just let me add...you have beautiful kids!!
Thanks!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
YES!!!! I am going to use that quote. I hope you don't mind. If you are mugged and beaten you would still feel violated.

I was sexually abused as a child.
I've been attacked at knife-point.
I've had three miscarriages after years of ttc.
I ended a 15-year relationship because my ex-husband had become emotionally abusive.
I've attempted suicide twice.

My c-sections rank up there with _any_ of those things in terms of emotional trauma. The cavalier attitude that exists about them drives me up the wall...


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## kyle98sean02 (Mar 28, 2003)

(((Robin))) I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son.

I had a lot of scar tissue after my second c-section. My bladder is now adhered to my uterus. The doctors I have seen have told me it shouldnt make a difference. I just found out last week that I am pregnant again. It took me a lot longer to conceive this time, but it was possible. It may also just have took longer since I am older too. Once again, I am so sorry for the loss of your son


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## kyle98sean02 (Mar 28, 2003)

Lisa- I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I hope your incision heals quickly and feels better real soon. I also go through PPD after my c-sections and i dont think it helps that i always have a hard time nursing at the beginning too. Once I am feeling more "normal" and my life starts getting back on track, my PPD subsides.







and if you ever need someone to just listen, feel free to pm me or e-mail me. Be gentle to yourself and I am sorry you got backed into another section.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I can't believe I forgot to subscribe to this thread! :LOL


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Heather: Thanks a lot. I don't even really like calling it PPD, because I know it's mostly related to the c-sections. I know that doesn't change anything, but...I get the "well, you could be depressed, anyway" thing from people and it's frustrating. I know I could suffer PPD even with a natural birth, but I honestly don't think it's likely. I've had hormone-related depressive periods before, and this is very different.

I really seem to be bouncing back fairly quickly, which is odd, as I've never had an infection before. I really think that being able to hold Evan and nurse him so quickly made a huge difference to my psychological state. And, if I do have another baby, I'm going to be pushy about going into labour before the surgery. It helped a lot (although it also frustrated me tremendously under the circumstances).

And, I know what you mean about nursing! This time wasn't quite the same, but I had a horrible time with my first two. It's actually one of the things I really hate about the hospital - all the unasked for advice on breastfeeding just makes me more tense and stressed about the whole thing.


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## MamaPear (Oct 10, 2004)

Hi everyone. I'm new to this thread, but I did lurk on the last one. I had my DD via emergency c-section and there are days where I still struggle and feel guilty. These threads have helped me SO much with coming to terms with my c-section. Also, I've been told that I will not be a candidate for a vbac b/c I have an inverted T incision on my uterus. So, finding the c-section birth plan in the last thread was incredible! Now when we get pregnant with our next child, I will have control! (something that I really lost with my first c-section).

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for having this thread. You ladies have helped me out more than you could ever know.









ETA: Ok, now that I've read through the other posts.

Robin: I am so sorry for your loss. Many





















to you and your family.


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## MamaPear (Oct 10, 2004)

Ok, while I'm here. Can I ask you all a question?

After your c-section, how soon did you nurse? I didn't nurse DD until 3 hours after my section. But, with the next baby, I'm hoping to nurse asap! Just wondering if any of you were able to nurse in the OR.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

1st section: It was about 13-14 hours until I nursed ds. I was unconscious in post-op, and then they gave me a sleeping pill.

2nd section: It was about 1.5 hours after the birth than I nursed dd. I had to recover in post-op first.

3rd sectoin: It was about 30 minutes until I nursed ds. I had to wait while they sewed me up - but I was holding him most of that time. Then, I was wheeled back to L&D for monitoring while I recovered, and I nursed him there.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaPear*
Ok, while I'm here. Can I ask you all a question?

After your c-section, how soon did you nurse? I didn't nurse DD until 3 hours after my section. But, with the next baby, I'm hoping to nurse asap! Just wondering if any of you were able to nurse in the OR.


MamaPear: For me.. it depended on the hospital and the nurses.. With my first, I did not nurse him for about 3 hours after my section. I was sent from the OR to recovery and then after that to my room.. This led to a whole cascare of issues that we struggled with for 9 weeks..
With second, another unexpected c/s, I nursed my baby an hour after birth, I was sent from the OR to my ROOM to recover and my baby was waiting there for me. It would have been less than an hour had i not been in surgery that long due to complications...










Robin: Have you contacted ICAN to ask your questions about getting pregnant again? They have an email list, it is really high volume.. but I am sure that someone there would either know about the difficulties getting pregnant with scar tissue or has experienced it and could offer some info









Chantal


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaPear*
After your c-section, how soon did you nurse? I didn't nurse DD until 3 hours after my section. But, with the next baby, I'm hoping to nurse asap! Just wondering if any of you were able to nurse in the OR.

I didn't get to nurse in the OR or in recovery, but I did nurse BooBah an hour after my emergency c-section in my room.







I didn't get to nurse my son for more than 24 hours following the VDFH, so this was a *huge* improvement to me!


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## kyle98sean02 (Mar 28, 2003)

I reacted to whatever was in my spinal and so they knocked me out with whatever they gave me so I would quit barfing and shaking so I didnt nurse for almost 20 hours after my c/section. I think Sean was pretty drugged up too, because he pretty much slept and didnt even try to eat until then. I am surprised they werent trying to get us to give him a bottle earlier, but I was adament about it and he was int he room with dh and I the whole time. They tried to latch him on earlier, but he didnt want anything to do with it until then. Its funny to me now, because once that kid did latch on, he nursed non-stop for 17 months.


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## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking on this thread for a bit, and finally feel ready to jump in and ask all you smart mamas about some things that have been bothering me about my recent c-section (on 8/3). Thanks in advance for any ideas!

First off, I have two very tender, sore spots on the far right and far left of my belly, above and about an inch in from my hip bones and about half an inch below my bellybutton. I can't see anything on the outside, but it feels like two symmetrical bad bruises. Could this be where they held me open during the surgery or something? If the elastic from my underwear is directly over these spots, they get even more tender.

And then the other thing is...ummm...TMI here...pooping. Oh my, this is a miserable experience! I'm taking the colace they gave me at the hospital, and I can't imagine what would happen if I wasn't...would my poop actually be made of hardened cement? It's the worst constipation I've ever had. Is this typical? Does it have to do with the c-section or just general postpartum stuff? I don't remember it with my first daughter's birth, which was vaginal. I'm eating the same (good healthy) food I did last time -- veggies and fruits and whole grains and drinking lots of water. So wassup?

Thanks in advance -- this c-section was a big surprise for me and I'm still reeling a little. I've decided not to think much about it for a bit, until I'm ready to really process it without postpartum hormones clouding the issues for me -- but I do need to deal with these physical issues right now.

Thanks all.

-Debi


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fiddledebi*
And then the other thing is...ummm...TMI here...pooping. Oh my, this is a miserable experience! I'm taking the colace they gave me at the hospital, and I can't imagine what would happen if I wasn't...would my poop actually be made of hardened cement? It's the worst constipation I've ever had. Is this typical? Does it have to do with the c-section or just general postpartum stuff? I don't remember it with my first daughter's birth, which was vaginal. I'm eating the same (good healthy) food I did last time -- veggies and fruits and whole grains and drinking lots of water. So wassup?


Interestingly enough, I had a much harder time with this after my son was born than after my c-section. I think it's just a post partum thing, hormones adjusting and whatnot.


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## nfpmom (Jun 4, 2004)

Hello. I'm new...
I just had my 2nd CS 7 1/2 weeks ago...
My first CS was due to a posterior baby/ failure to progress/ nonreassuring heart tones. I dilated to 8 cm and had a CS. I was emotionally devastated for over a year after that. I joined ICAN and eventually became a chapter leader in my area.

With my second baby I planned a HBAC. I went into labor at 39 weeks, dilated beautifully to 10 and ended up pushing for half a day. RCS for CPD, posterior baby.

I am much better emotionally this time around. I think because I really do think we tried everything we could.
I know we want another child and for the first time ever, I realize that another cesarean very well could be the outcome. I really don't think I could just schedule a RCS... if I could go into labor and allowed a shot at a VBA2C that would be ideal, but I am so over long, drawn-out labors (both of mine have been over 24 hours), so it would either be an easy VB or an easy CS...
Anyway that is all in the future because like I said.... only 7 1/2 weeks postpartum









take care


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi Eliane
Welcome and







for you

Your two births sound like mine... I am also struggling with those questions myself..










Chantal


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## nfpmom (Jun 4, 2004)

Chantal,
I just read your CBAC birth story and you are right- there are many similarities... my DD was also direct OP, but with a well-flexed head-something that wasn't diagnosed until, oh, hour 10 of pushing. My midwife said that my baby turned from LOA to direct OP sometime in late labor/ transition. My DS (1st baby, 1st CS) also turned OP in labor. So yes, I too wonder if there is something about my body that encourages my babies to turn OP in labor. And my body just grows 'em big also (1st was 9 lb, 4 oz; 2nd was 9 lbs even). Both times when my kids came out they had this classic OP molding, where their heads were completely flat on top and squished out in the back- from being jammed against the pubic bone over and over and over again...
And I too am haunted by the fact that my husband could see hair. I wish I had thought to ask to look myself. That would have been cool. So close to coming out... but not to be. So very hard. But like I said, because we tried so hard, I have accepted this outcome for this birth- so not what I wanted but what else could we have done??

thanks for your kind words...


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Having a bad few days. The incision's still not healed over - three weeks today. It's infected, and the infection's being dealt with, but there's still a gape at one end.

I'm feeling really run down, and fed up with not being able to do the things I can usually do. It's a huge chore just to take both the young ones to the grocery store (two blocks away), and I can only pick up a very limited amount of food. DH has had to do just about everything, and I'm so tired of having to have "help" (ie. someone to do everything I can't or shouldn't). I hate being so incapacitated.

And, I'm really having a lot of difficulty coming to terms with the fact that I blew my last chance at a VBAC. We're almost definitely not having any more kids. That's a problem in and of itself. I really thought dh would want another one, but he doesn't. One of his reasons is that he wants me to be healthy and fit again...the pregnancies and surgeries have kept me from really regaining the health and fitness I lost a few years ago. But, I'm feeling like everybody else is making decisions about the big things in my life...and worse, they're all (doctors and dh) doing it "for my own good". I'm depressed, in pain, and soooo angry. It's making it hard to cope.

I may actually ask for a referral to a therapist - although how I'd get to appointments right now is beyond me...


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Lisa-

I am sorry you aren't feeling better. Have you gone to an ICAN meeting in your area if there is one. I went to one a few weeks ago and it was nice to talk to other women in person about their c-section experiences and get feelings out with people who really understood how I felt.

My DH is also commenting on not wanting any more kids and it is hard.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Lisa























Elaine: I think that, because I feel I did all that I could.. that I am more at peace with my cbac than I was with my first c/s...

Chantal


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## kyle98sean02 (Mar 28, 2003)

(((Lisa))) My dh was like that for a long time. This birth is **** so fresh for him and it scares men when their wives are in so much pain and they cant do anything to protect them. He may feel differently later. Mine eventually did and now I am pregnant with #3. i was ready when my ds was almost 2, but it took him a good 3 years. I hope you are feeling better all around here real soon


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Part of the problem is that I'm 37. If I am going to have another baby, I really don't want to wait too long. And, it will just kill me if four or five years down the road, dh says "yeah - another baby would be cool".

When we got together, I was just coming out of a really horrible first marriage. My ex and I had been together since I was 16, and it took me a long time to admit that he'd become really emotionally abusive. I'd been living under unbelievable stress for several years, and...well, to sum it up, when dh met me, I'd put on 30 pounds in about 16 months, and had been sick for almost a year...strepthroat, bronchitis, ear infections, constant fevers - you name it. My body just couldn't deal with the stress. That's _probably_ what caused my three miscarriages, as well.

I'd wanted four kids since I was 18, and had almost given up when I met dh. I was pretty sure I couldn't even have kids, anymore. I thought maybe something had gone wrong with my primary section and really screwed up my uterus.

So...I met dh.

From my perspective: I finally got pregnant, and managed to keep a baby. I was 34 when Emma was born...older than I'd planned, but it seemed as though everything had pulled together just in time to let me have my four kids, after all...the universe had finally dealt me good cards. I found the love of my life, _and_ he was going to give me my much-wanted babies.

From dh's perspective: I was a sick, tired mess when he moved here. We spent a lot of time out hiking, and he got me back on a bicycle for the first time in 20 years. My health & fitness improved almost daily, and for a while he shouldered more than his share of the load to help me de-stress. Then, I got pregnant...spent about two months at the end moving really slowly and kind of limited in what I could do...then had surgery and was a physical and psychological mess for about two months. We started hiking and stuff again that summer and I was getting back on track. Then, I got pregnant...and it all happened again, only I was more incapacitated at the end of this pregnancy (Evan was big, and I went over 41w). So - he finally found the love of his life - and she keeps rendering herself minimally functional...

That was long, but this is an emotionally complicated mess. And, the fact that this recovery isn't going very well or very quickly isn't helping either of us cope. The incision still hasn't healed, and my stomach hurts, and...well...things just aren't healing up so well.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Lisa








You are being really hard on yourself






























I hope you see some light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Chantal


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Being hard on myself is what I'm best at, unfortunately. With any luck, I'll bounce back tremendously once I'm able to _do_ things again. I just spent one hour at a local farm with the kids. Despite the fact that my 12-year-old and my nephew did most of the toddler-chasing, I'm exhausted and my incision is stinging like crazy. I'm just so tired of not being able to do anything. Just the minimal housework is exhausting...


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## MamaPear (Oct 10, 2004)

to you Lisa. I can sympathize. I beat myself up pretty bad after my c-section too. It's sad how mean we can be to ourselves. I hope that this dark cloud passes for you soon.


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Lisa ...


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I'm struggling yet again here. How come I just can't just be happy for others without emotional baggage when other people have healthy pregnancies and babies and vaginal births -- especially when they were induced (or do any other number of "wrong" things)? {{sigh}} A friend (former co-worker) had her second baby yesterday. He's a beautiful, healthy 8 lbs. 9 oz. She was induced (post-edd and size). She had an epidural. I should be happy for her, right? I tried to do everything right, screwed it up, and then ended up sectioned. I try to get past this everytime, and everytime it bites me in the a**. Will I ever just be able to be happy for people and not jealous or p*ssed off when things go well in spite of things (or just b/c they're "lucky")?

I think I'm over this and then boom it hits me. And this wasn't even a particularly close friend. Those two friends are due in November, heaven help me if the same happens.

I wish I could just move on. This is why I'm half scared to have another baby. If I don't VBAC, I really don't know if I'll be able to ever except it or be truly happy for others. Isn't that awful of me? I'm sick to my stomach over this, and ready to cry b/c I feel like such an awful person for feeling these things, yet I don't know how to just move on. Poop.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Oh, Amy - I know what you mean. I can handle it when I read good birth stories here, because I know most of the moms here really, really wanted natural births and took some control of things. But, I have the same negative emotions about a lot of friend's and relative's births. I wish I could just be happy for them, but I have this nasty little worm of jealousy eating a hole in my guts. My sister started asking for a c-section as soon as her epidural stopped working (or was turned down or whatever), and then had a vaginal birth. The first thing she said to me afterwards was that I was pathetic for having had a c-section. That was ten years ago, and it still makes me furious whenever I think of it.

Obviously what she said was the final straw - but the fact that her birth went okay even though she was pleading for a section, while I was sectioned while screaming that I didn't want one....it's hard not to feel screwed.

You're not a horrible person - you're just struggling with disappointment and letdown. Try not to beat up on yourself about this. We c-section moms who are having trouble accepting what happened have enough to deal with - beating ourselves up over the fact that we're having trouble isn't going to help.


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Henry's_Mamma*
I'm struggling yet again here. How come I just can't just be happy for others without emotional baggage when other people have healthy pregnancies and babies and vaginal births -- especially when they were induced (or do any other number of "wrong" things)? {{sigh}}


I'm right there with you... I tried, twice, to do "all the right things" and ended up with a grand total of 110 hours of labor and 2 c-sections









It's hard to get over those feelings. I just keep telling myself that there must have been a *reason* (not a medical reason, but a reason that only God knows) that mine went like they did, twice.

(fyi - in my case, there was no real medical reason, other than, malpositioning -#1 asynclinic, #2 face up - and the fact that after 60 and 50 hours there was not really anything left to do - for me, at that point, the c/sections were the "humane" thing to do.)


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Amy







I know how you feel.. I'd be driving down the road and BOOM I'd start crying.. or I'd hear of someone's birth and I'd be insanely jealous.. After my first c/s (and this is horrible for me to admit) I secretly wished c/s on others to they could understand where I was coming from...
Give yourself premission to grieve, to feel the loss, to feel the anger... and give yourself permission to heal.. when you are ready....










Chantal

ps. I know that for me.. now that I feel on a more even keel with my second c/s.. that it is important for me to "protect" that feeling and place I am in.. and that means not "exposing" myself to what will upset me.. What I mean is.. I don't discuss my births nor ask others to discuss theirs.. If someone asks I am polite but I don't elaborate, I don't go to Birth Story meetings or things like that....
I know that this is probably not the "right" way to deal with it, but it is working for me and helps keep my inner peace.. which I what I need right now..


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chantald*
or I'd hear of someone's birth and I'd be insanely jealous..

I am going through that now. I know a bunch of women who were due this summer and now they are all having great vaginal births and I am so jealous of all of them.

Oh and can I just say one thing I HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to my quilting class last night with my mom. This is the first class I have been to since having Jake. We had him with us and of course everyone knew about "the big boy" from my mom. Well they asked how big he was at birth and I told them then this one woman asked "c-section?"

I freaking hate that!!!!!!!!! I replied "yes unfortunately" then they all look at me like I am crazy. ugh! Then some lady made a comment that she adopted all of hers and that is the way to go no pain at all. I felt bad for her for a moment that she will never get to experience the joy of being pregnant and childbirth vaginally and that she is making a joke of it all...maybe that is her way of dealing who knows.

Anyway I just get sick of people asking me if I had a c-section because I had a big baby. It is like then I have to relive it all over again and I just want to scream. PEOPLE HAVE BIG BABIES VAGINALLY ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
I I went to my quilting class last night with my mom. This is the first class I have been to since having Jake. We had him with us and of course everyone knew about "the big boy" from my mom. Well they asked how big he was at birth and I told them then this one woman asked "c-section?"
....

Anyway I just get sick of people asking me if I had a c-section because I had a big baby. It is like then I have to relive it all over again and I just want to scream. PEOPLE HAVE BIG BABIES VAGINALLY ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!!

I haven't had that exactly. But, my SIL (who had a 10lb. baby a few years ago) said "you're lucky you didn't have to push out a 10lb. baby!" (Evan was 10.5 lb.). I just stood there wanting to hit her. That was my last chance to ever experience a vaginal birth and I was still in so much pain - 10 days post-partum, with an infected incision - and she was telling me how "lucky" I was. It still makes me want to cry. She did it...nobody told her that she shouldn't have any more babies after that, or that it wasn't safe for her to give birth. Why am I "lucky"???

My dad was 10lb. in 1943...doubt highly that he was a c-section. It's not like big babies can't be born without a scalpel.


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## nfpmom (Jun 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Henry's_Mamma*
I'm struggling yet again here. How come I just can't just be happy for others without emotional baggage when other people have healthy pregnancies and babies and vaginal births --

Amy,
I feel the same way. I am jealous when other women have successful vaginal births. I just had my 2nd unwanted CS in June and it sucks. I feel gypped.
So big sympathetic "me toos" to you!

take care


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## nfpmom (Jun 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
Anyway I just get sick of people asking me if I had a c-section because I had a big baby. It is like then I have to relive it all over again and I just want to scream. PEOPLE HAVE BIG BABIES VAGINALLY ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!!

Me too. My kids have been "big" at 9 lb 4 oz and 9 lbs respectively (doesn't sound that big to me but whatever...) and so when people hear that both of them have been CS, they knowingly say "well I should think so being so BIG!"
Ugh. I have a hard time not sounding royally pissed off when I try and dispute that... I truly believe had my kids not been posterior they would have come out. So it was their position- not their size- that screwed it all up







:
take care


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## fiddledebi (Nov 20, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nfpmom*
So it was their position- not their size- that screwed it all up







:
take care


I am having a similar problem -- my daughter was IUGR, and only 4.5 pounds, so when people hear that I had a c-section and that she was so small, they immediately say, "Oh, so she was premature. How many weeks?" Actually, she was 40w4d. I just make incompetant placentas, apparently. Thanks for making me say it again and again and again...


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nfpmom*
I truly believe had my kids not been posterior they would have come out. So it was their position- not their size- that screwed it all up







:
take care

they told me that Jake was also posterior.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nfpmom*
I truly believe had my kids not been posterior they would have come out. So it was their position- not their size- that screwed it all up







:
take care


So true for me too.. sigh..







for everyone!!!

Chantal


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## kyle98sean02 (Mar 28, 2003)

Henry's_Mamma, I understand the jealousy big time. My sil has had 2 natural childbirths witha grand total of maybe 8 hours of labor combined and she seriously whines all the time that her labors go so fast she doesnt get to experience an epidural. She makes me want to scream. I just found out she is pregnant 2 weeks behind me and I know I will be a scheduled c/s after 2 priors and she is already talking about how she is going to have her dr. induce her early so she can have the epidural in place this time. I try to avoid all pregnancy/birth talk with her, but its next to impossible. Could you imagine your biggest stressor being your labors go so fast and easy you dont have time to get your epidural in place.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Hi all,

Just wanted to touch base and tell everyone hello.

I am sorry Lisa that things are still so hard for you, emotionally and physically. I hope it will get better soon.

Katie is doing great. She is now sleeping through the night. This is the first baby I have had do this, this young. Its a great feeling and makes parenting so much easier. If only my breasts would adjust to this though!

I would say that I am back 95%. I resumed my very active sex life with hubby, and doing normal things with the kids. I do sometimes wear out and have incision pain on the right side though if I do too much or lift too much. This is the side I have always had problems with.

I've also ovulated! I am so ticked. I think I am the only annovulatory chic that has periods while exclusively breastfeeding.

O in another cool news I got the pictures from my csection back. They are so beautiful. I wish I could explain how beautiful they are. I know some would not think they are beautiful but I have such a great shot of my doctor lifting Katie out of the uterus. Then I have with her laying up on my abdomen and the assisting OB cutting the cord. Then there is this great all bloody shot of them showing Katie to me for the first time. There are a couple of pics of me in the OR laughing and smiling, and looking at Katie for the first time too. I wish I would have had these kinds of pics with my second son. (I have VERY graphic pics of my emergency csection)

Kim


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OnTheFence*
Katie is doing great. She is now sleeping through the night. This is the first baby I have had do this, this young. Its a great feeling and makes parenting so much easier. If only my breasts would adjust to this though!

This is sooo true. Evan's definitely been my easiest in that respect...although my oldest wasn't bad, either. Emma was a nightmare that way - I don't think she really slept through the night until she was about a year old.

Emma wouldn't go up to her room for her nap today. I got frustrated and picked her up and carried her without thinking about it. Now, I'm really sore. I've never had an incision take this long to heal before!


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Kim
So glad things are going well!!! Yay on the sleep!! For me getting enough sleep sure does affect my outlook!!!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Yes - sleep is so important.

Now, if I could just have a bath, I'd probably feel a lot better. And, I'd love to have a dip in the pool at our complex...


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

I thought I'd posted thanks before but I guess either I or MDC messed up ...







. So here it is again ... Thanks for the kinds words and support. No one IRL gets it, but you ladies always do. I'm feeling better about it now, but it took a few days. I guess I need to measure progress incrementally ... there was a time I would've been annoyed for weeks.

Anyway ... shhh and cross your fingers for me ... I think we're going to start ttc#2 next month!!!


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## ruby slippers (Aug 21, 2005)

Hello,
I had a cesarean birth in Feb for a posterior baby with no descent. Oh, it makes me sad on some days. My birth experience on the whole was okay. I was 11 days past my EDD, I went into labor at home, broke my water at home, got to the hospital at 9cm's, became fully dilated pushed for a bit with no epidural and then was persuaded to get an epidural to help me relax(!), pushed for another 2 hours with no descent so was taken to the OR. My recovery was fine, I held my baby in the OR, breast fed in the Recovery room but still wonder...what if...I think about a VBAC alot. I will try it but the cesaean was not the end of the world and I got comfort in thinking it's not how you birth them but how you raise them.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Welcome aboard.

That's a good philosophy. I'm trying really hard to cultivate it, but still not having a lot of luck so far. But, good luck with a VBAC next time, anyway.









I wonder why some women roll with c-sections so easily - even prefer them in some cases, while others have so much trouble coping. My first was 12 years ago, and I don't think I've ever even fully dealt with that one. My SIL had one just a few months later, and was utterly relieved. Sometimes, I think I'm even more broken, because I have so much trouble dealing with it.


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## greenmansions (Feb 16, 2005)

I think the attitude of being able to deal with it is in part believing it was necessary and/or that you had a say in the decision to do it. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like that was the case for you, Lisa.

I was to the point where I just wanted that baby out after 4 days of laboring, and there was my pre-e and his tipped head. I still regret a bit that it didn't go more smoothly for me, but I don't really regret my c/s.


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## ruby slippers (Aug 21, 2005)

Thanks for the welcome Storm Bride. My philosphy is not always there with me and I do sometimes look at my baby and think "why couldn't we do it" and i'm sure my VBAC obsession is really to do with my not dealing with things totally. Sometimes I think if I could do things differently I would have wailed and screamed to express my disappointment on the way in and out of the OR. And other moments i have i am at peace with it, but MDC helps me immensly to look on the bright side but not to totally hide the dark side.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ruby slippers*
... MDC helps me immensly to look on the bright side but not to totally hide the dark side.









I think you just summed up why I spend so much time here...it's the only place where I'm encouraged to see the positives (eg. a healthy baby) but not discouraged from having my regrets and negative feelings. It's a helpful combination.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I get to take a bath!!!















It's been showers only since the section, because of the infection and improper healing. There's still a gap, but my doctor gave me the okay on a bath, as long as I dry off thoroughly afterwards, and continue with the antibiotic ointment.

I don't like showers...I've been sooooo looking forward to this!!


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Yay Lisa!!
Hope this means that everything starts to look up real soon!!!!









Chantal


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'm hoping...pretty heavy bleeding this morning, after two days with no blood at all. I guess I'm overdoing it, even though I don't feel as though I'm doing _anything_. I hate being a freaking invalid. My kids have had no summer at all.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Hello ladies, I'm new to MDC, not real great at navigating the bulletin boards yet - but I found myself here and thought you ladies would have the best advise.

First off







to all of you and for quick recoveries!

Here's a little background..

I gave birth to my first baby Benjamin on 7/05/05. I had a very healthy pregnancy and was due 06/25/05. I was induced on 7/4 (no pitocin)... early the next morning after 3 hours of active pushing (no epidural b/c I was too far along) and attempts at suctioning the doctor decided on a c-section. It wasn't until 2 hours later (and pushing to relieve pain) that I finally got the c-section and he was delivered. My son had hemmoriging in two places (b/c of the suction and or the prolonged wait for the OR) that led to PPHN and eventually his death on 7/07/05.







I believe my incisions are healing ok, it's hard to decipher when I felt good, or when I could get up etc.. because of the circumstances I wasn't up and around doing a whole lot of anything. I don't really feel jipped that I didn't get to experience a vaginal birth, because I practically did except for the fact that he didn't come out (I had an episomity and everything). I am not planning a VBAC for future pregnancies and I will schedule another c-section (with a new doctor) b/c I never want this to happen again. A c-section is always worth it if you can have a healthy baby in the end, which hopefully I will experience one day. Physically I feel back to normal and in a few weeks my leave runs out and I have to go back to work.









This leads to my question...How long do you have to wait after having a c-section before you can get pg again? I've heard anything from 3 months to 1 year. My husband and I do want to get pg again soon, but I'm afraid of putting my next baby at risk if I get pg too soon. Any advice would help. Thanks.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Welcome to the thread.
I'm so sorry for your loss - I wish I had words that would help, but of course I don't.
















Most everything I've read says the scar is healed fully in six months. I might want to wait a little longer if I were going to VBAC, because of the strain of labour. But, if you're going to schedule another section, I think you'd be okay by the end of the year.


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

Ben's Mommy







I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Have you visited the grief and loss forum...there are some wonderful women over there who have lost their babies, and they seem to be a loving and very supportive group. But of course, you are very welcome here, too









I think my doc said to wait a year after my first son was born (my only c-sec) to TTC. I have no idea why or if there was any logic to it at all







I have known women who had babies close together (1 year apart), both via C-sec, and done fine.

I will be thinking of you.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Thank you ladies for your advise. I have visited the grief and loss boards, however have yet to post there. I have read many of the posts there and lurk around on those boards which have helped me. This is the first time I've posted at MDC and think I may post at the loss boards also. I was hoping that since this was a cesarean thread, that I may get some more concrete answers to my question here. I also plan on asking my new doctor when I go for my first visit in the beginning of October. I think I will go with whatever he says, since he is going to be the one I will see in future pregnancies.








to all you wonderful mamas

thank you


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I strongly recommend checking back in here. If On The Fence has a chance to post, she might be able to help. She's researched c-sections more thoroughly than anyone else I've ever talked to.


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

My understanding is that if you want to VBAC, you have to wait a year but that if you're having a second c-section that 6 months is fine. (that said, there was concern I was pregnant again when dd was 3.5 weeks old and my OB didn't seem all that concerned)

I will echo the others and say I'm so sorry for your loss. There is a grief and loss board and also a pregnancy and birth loss area on MDC. I haven't been around the grief and loss board much, but on the pregnancy and birth loss board you will meet many other moms who've unfortunately also lost term babies.


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *greenmansions*
I think the attitude of being able to deal with it is in part believing it was necessary and/or that you had a say in the decision to do it. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like that was the case for you, Lisa.

I was to the point where I just wanted that baby out after 4 days of laboring, and there was my pre-e and his tipped head. I still regret a bit that it didn't go more smoothly for me, but I don't really regret my c/s.

I think you're right abou this. I think the degree of control you had over the decision and the situation makes a big difference. I feel I was in control and made the decisions, both times. After my two very very long labors, ultimately, the c-section was a relief because by that time, I'd tried everything, I was EXHAUSTED, and I just wanted the baby out! That being said, I regret that I was not presented with different circumstances (i.e., smaller babies in better positions, or, at least, babies in bad positions that would move when prompted by all the usual techniques!) Does that make sense, don't regret the c-sections, but regret that I will (probably) never experience a vaginal, natural childbirth.


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## SKK (Apr 9, 2005)

Sandy - Ben's Mom,

I'm so sorry for your loss!
















Just wanted to welcome you to the board - you will read some good info about c-sections here. I know you should wait at least 9 mo. to get pregnant again if you want to vbac - I'm not sure how long if you are planning ercs. take care!


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
This leads to my question...How long do you have to wait after having a c-section before you can get pg again? I've heard anything from 3 months to 1 year. My husband and I do want to get pg again soon, but I'm afraid of putting my next baby at risk if I get pg too soon. Any advice would help. Thanks.

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost a baby this year.

I am eager to TTC and I have been told to wait 6 to 9 months to allow my uterus to fully heal. However, I had a uterine rupture, so there is concern that I could rupture again with a future pregnancy. I am seeing a high risk OB (perinatologist) for a consult on Tuesday the 30th, so if I learn anything new there, I will share it with you.

Be easy on yourself. I can tell you that I am in a different place now than where I was at 6 weeks after my loss. The pain is still there, but it goes from being a raging pain that threatens to overwhelm you to being a dull and constant ache.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Beth, I am so sorry for your loss and for all those mamas who lost their babies way too soon.









My heart ache is always there, but for the most part I can function in my day to day life. (but I'll save this for the pregnancy and loss boards)

Beth - Good luck on your consult on Tuesday, you'll have to let me know how it goes. Also, did a previous c-section cause your uterine rupture or was it something else?

I am definatley NOT one for trying a vbac, since it was the complications with the vaginal birth that took my baby's life. I never want to experience that again!

I definatley agree with greenmansions and skk on the idea that it's the amount of control that you had during your labor and c-sec that will determine how much you regret the c-sec. I have no remorse about having a c-sec, because I knew there was nothing else that could be done to get my baby out. I never felt I was pressured into one, and would probally feel very different about c-secs if I was pressured.

I wish everyone a speedy recovery who is currently "disabled" feeling and can't get around. It does get better day by day. I feel lucky that my recovery period wasn't long. I felt back to "normal" probally 4 weeks post c-sec. Although the bleeding has lasted much, much longer! Hopefully one day it will decide to stop!


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ben's Mommy*
Beth - Good luck on your consult on Tuesday, you'll have to let me know how it goes. Also, did a previous c-section cause your uterine rupture or was it something else?

Yes, I ruptured in a VBAC attempt. Unmedicated and non-induced, I ruptured while pushing.

Perhaps my worst regret, other than attempting the VBAC at all, is that I did NOT have a terrible C section experience the first time. It was not what I wanted, but it was not a terrible experience and I recovered easily. I just feel so horribly selfish and guilty that my desire for a vaginal birth cost me my baby's life.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
Yes, I ruptured in a VBAC attempt. Unmedicated and non-induced, I ruptured while pushing.

Perhaps my worst regret, other than attempting the VBAC at all, is that I did NOT have a terrible C section experience the first time. It was not what I wanted, but it was not a terrible experience and I recovered easily. I just feel so horribly selfish and guilty that my desire for a vaginal birth cost me my baby's life.


I am so very sorry, I had no idea. But please don't beat yourself up about attempting the VBAC. Many, many women have had successful VBAC's. There was no way for you to know how your VBAC was going to turn out. You just wanted what every woman wants - to birth their child naturally.
And you should never regret wanting to experience the natural birth of your child. I know I'm not very good with words of comfort, just know that I would give you a big







if I could.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

to egoldber & Ben's Mommy. I truly can't even imagine how much that would hurt.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

many many







to all of you who have lost a baby. My heart breaks for you

Chantal


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## MamaPear (Oct 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ruby slippers*
I will try it but the cesaean was not the end of the world and I got comfort in thinking it's not how you birth them but how you raise them.









First, I just wanted to offer lots and lots of hugs to the mamas who lost their babies. My heart aches for you both.









Ruby--that is an awesome philosophy to have. I truly believe that it was my c-section that caused me to raise my dd the way that I am. I think that if I had had a v-birth, I would have been way more mainstream in my parenting. I don't think I would have been as responsive to DDs needs as I am now.

That really helps me to come to terms with my own unwanted c-sec. Not that I'm fully ok with it, I don't think that will ever happen, and I will always wonder what if. But, I think this is the way it always happens when things odn't go as planned.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

DH says the gap in my incision is very small now (he's the one treating it for me, as I can't see it over my tummy). I think it's finally almost healed!! I hope it's not just wishful thinking. This one has been horrible.

"It's not how you birth them, it's how you raise them"...I definitely need to work on thinking like that...


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Storm Bride - I'm glad to hear that your incision is doing better.








Just be careful not to over do yourself so it can heal properly. Good luck!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I think I overdid it a bit today - six hours at the PNE (local fair), mostly on my feet, with Evan in the Snugli. But, I don't feel too terrible physically, and my older two had a really good time. DH did all the really demanding stuff...I just carried - and fed - the littlest one.

However, today was hard emotionally. I don't know why I let these things get to me, but they bother me a lot. We ran into my oldest's teacher from last year on our way to the PNE. She asked how old Evan was, and I told her he was one month yesterday. She asked how it was - referring to the labour, and I just said, "well, I had a c-section, so..." and let it trail off. Her mother, who was with her, said "oh - that's cheating".

I spent the next three hours on the edge of bursting into tears.
Why, why, why do people say such stupid, nasty, insensitive things???


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
Her mother, who was with her, said "oh - that's cheating".

I spent the next three hours on the edge of bursting into tears.
Why, why, why do people say such stupid, nasty, insensitive things???


I'm so sorry.







I really don't understand why people feel the need to comment on a situation they know nothing about!







It's not like you decided that you were too good to go thru labor and push your baby out. There were circumstances for each of your c-secs that made them what they were, and there is nothing wrong with how your beautiful babies came into this world. I would just try and aviod the subject alltogether with other people...just tell them that you had a wonderful birth and procede to tell them the weight, time of birth etc. so maybe they won't dwell on the "how" of it all. I have to give you credit though... I would have punched the mother out for saying that!









Make sure that you take some time for yourself and rest. You'll need it to fully recooperate.


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## ruby slippers (Aug 21, 2005)

Storm bride - all mamas who have a cesarian birth know that it is so not cheating. It is terribly hard. I felt a lump in my throat when I read your post, people would say similar things to me, or they'd say "oh, I'm sorry". Some people have no clue about surgical births. Eventually I ended up just saying yes thie birth was fine she weighed etc, etc....It is actually nobody elses business but yours how your baby was birthed.


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## matts_mamamama (Mar 19, 2004)

Cheating? Yep, that's the way to look at it - I mean, geez, your birth was completely pain-free and your recovery has been a piece of cake, so I can see why people would say that! <SARCASM> It's easy to say don't let it get to you, but I know it's not that easy. Hang in there and like the pp said, it might be easier to skip over the whole "how was it" question with the stats of baby or how well you all are doing now.







s:


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Maybe I'll try that. I really didn't know what to say, because people don't usually ask me that. Over 12 years and 3 c-sections, I think I've heard it _all_, in terms of insensitive comments, but they never get any easier to take.

Of course - it's not just birth. I had a former co-worker corner me in the coffee room and start badgering me about when I was going to have a second child, because my oldest was already seven, and "he should really have a little brother or sister". I just told her that would be nice, and she kept up with it, so I eventually said "we're trying" - hoping she'd shut up. And, she _still_ didn't drop it. So, I finally told her I'd been trying for six years, and had had two miscarriages (I was actually pregnant at that time, but I didn't tell her that, and lost that baby about two weeks later). She was all shock and fake sympathy, and I really just wondered why she couldn't take the hint that I did _not_ want to talk about it. People are astonishing.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

Hello all! I haven't read through the whole thread, but am just going to jump back in, I used to post here, and kind of lost the group after my last birth. I am sorry to the mamas who have lost babies.

My story is that I have had 3 c-sections and with the last one, my uterus was opened when the OB opened me up, basically a 3 inch section was open along my old scar line and by some miracle, the amniotic sac had not broken and ds and I were both fine. I have been advised though, to avoid pregnancy indefinitely, b/c I basically ruptured prior to even laboring (just from braxton hicks contractions) and therefore, we (OB and I) are not confident in my body's ability to heal properly from the c-sections, and carry another baby to term. The way I see it, we got our miracle and I won't be asking for another.

That said, we use Natural Family Planning, so we are still open to God sending us another miracle at some point.

Kim- I see that you have your new little one, Congrats, last I was posting here you were still thinking of getting pregnant again, so I guess all that talk too action







. Congratulations!

~Patty


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

i know this may sound crazy, but i have had 2 cs's w/ my sons (both emergency due to fetal distress...kids were both 9 lbs.) and an ectopic preg. suffice it to say that i am experienced at this point in getting cut open.
however, i was watching a stupid TV show yesterday (something like "Make Room for Baby" on Discovery Health channel) out of curiosity of what they were doing with the nursery when i got very squeemish about the mother's birth (i had to actually stop knitting and change the channel during the epidural). Am I crazy? I mean, this cs is planned and there really aren't other options being considered at this point, but jeez...shouldn't i be immune to this stuff?????


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I don't see why you'd be immune. About three years after my first c-section, I watched "The Operation" on tv, and it was a section. About a minute into the actual surgery, my scar started to ache (hadn't hurt _at all_ in well over a year, maybe two), and didn't stop for about an hour. The scars from sections aren't all on our bodies, and they don't go away quickly..


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## ruby slippers (Aug 21, 2005)

Storm bride - that is amazing, I thought I was the only one who got scar pain/itching when i think about my surgery or another baby. I thought i was imagining it or it was just coincidence.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Well, at that time, my scar itched a lot - but it _never_ hurt...except when I watched that surgery.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ruby slippers*
Storm bride - that is amazing, I thought I was the only one who got scar pain/itching when i think about my surgery or another baby. I thought i was imagining it or it was just coincidence.

That also happens to me. Especially when I am particularily depressed about my c-section.


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## Henry's_Mamma (Jan 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ruby slippers*
Storm bride - that is amazing, I thought I was the only one who got scar pain/itching when i think about my surgery or another baby. I thought i was imagining it or it was just coincidence.

Me too sometimes.


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

new here, but getting acquainted. I had a c-section with my first born almost a year ago already. Commited to trying a VBAC with the next child. Need to find a different practice than the one I had when I had my son though. I've already been told that a c-section will be scheduled. Yeah. Thanks.









Do you ladies still feel your scars? and not just when you're thinking about it - just every now and then out of nowhere? I mean- as in twinges of pain? It's not all the time, but everynow and then it's like I just woke up with it again. Just a constant reminder of how my labor failed tha I fear will never go away.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I felt mine for a few years with my first one - but that was just occasional itching (aside from the time I watched the surgery). With my second, the pain took longer to go away in the first place, but didn't come as often afterwards (don't know if I explained that well). My third was only 5 weeks ago, and is still too numb for me to say - it generally only hurts if I really overdo it and/or my bladder is full.

Unless there's actually something wrong, the pain will go away. It's just that it _is_ major surgery, so it's not something that you just bounce back from.


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

i feel it sometimes but the it has itched more than anything over the years. the biggest effect for me is that it is such a sensitive area. i cant stand for it to be touched (as well as the epidural area where the needle went in and around my belly button where they went in for exploratory surgery with the ectopic).
i am a fairly strong person but i am getting really scared of going under the knife again. this may sound weird too, but with the other 2 boys, i didnt ANTICIPATE a cs...both of them i tried to birth naturally w/o med. (in a hospital..if you can ever call that natural). with the 1st, 36 hrs. of labor..the 2nd was a little better but not by much. when the cs decision had to be made, there was no choice. now, i am "scheduling" a cs and i really dont know what that means. i am going to tell my dr. that i am NOT going to go in on his "non-golf" day and have this baby though. i have though about that for the last couple of days. i am going to experience labor if i can (and i dont see why i cant).
any thoughts on my rebellion?








Rach


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

A week before my due date with dd (my second), my FP discovered that she'd flipped - footling breech. She and my OB arranged a scheduled section for two days later. When the OB's office called, I flipped out - had not expected another baby to flip, and the pregnancy had gone really well. I'd had every expectation of VBAC. The OB and my FP talked me into the scheduled section, and I hated it. It felt totally unnatural to just show up at the hospital with no indication that baby was ready to arrive. I didn't like that baby's birth date depended on the hospital operating schedule. But, I'd let myself be talked/bullied into the section.

Afterwards, I asked my FP if I could try for a VBA2C with my next one, and she said no - the risks were too high. I thought I'd be okay with that and went ahead and got pregnant with number three.

After three months of nightmares about surgery and bouts of insomnia, I realized I was _not_ okay with a scheduled repeat. So, I came online, did a lot of research and got stubborn. I refused to schedule, and said I was going to try for a VBA2C. My FP was totally freaked out, but my OB was okay with it, once he was sure I understood the risk of rupture.

DS wound up going to 41 weeks, 5 days. My OB had scheduled a section, because things were going on so long.







I went to his office with early signs of prelabour the day before the scheduled surgery, and was going to refuse the surgery. He told me he'd withdraw from my case. As I couldn't see any reasonable possibility of finding a new caregiver at that point, I went along with the section - didn't see any real choice at that point. I went into labour that night...contraction 8 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds when I got to the hospital. I was only about 1cm dilated, so they did the section, anyway. I wanted to argue, but I just didn't have the energy to fight, anymore.

_Anyway_, the point of the long, rambling post above is that I lost - but I also won. Evan would have almost definitely arrived on the day of the surgery if I'd birthed vaginally. He arrived when he was ready to, instead of three weeks earlier, which is when they'd have scheduled me if I hadn't "rebelled". My milk came in well - nursing went well - Evan and my body were both ready for him to be here.

Rebel if that's what's right for you. Many women find the scheduled sections easier - but I found it absolutely brutal.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Well, I think I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum from most of the ladies on this thread. Once I'm pregnant again, I will plan the next delivery as a c-sec, just because I am scared to death that I won't be able to bring my next baby home. I'm more comfortable with a c-sec than V delivery, however I probally will freak out when the time comes, because I had the perfect healthy pregnancy on my first baby up until I was induced, then everything went down hill from there.
As far as itching and my scar goes...I am 8 weeks post c-sec and I have no pain and no itching!







Now, I don't know if that will change over time, but I hope not. The only problem I still have is bleeding. Will it ever stop? I thought I had what might have been my period last week, but then this morning it started getting heavier again!







: Argh! I just wish I was back on a "normal" cycle again. Well, maybe I'm on my period now. Who knows?


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

I am just so afraid that when the EDD comes near for #2 that I will be pushed into a c/s. I don't MEAN to be a rebel, but darn it!! I'm young (27) and was perfectly healthy never even had a stitch before I had my c-section. There should be no reason that I couldn't have a babby vaginally. If I set myself up for and get into the mindset that I can have a VBAC, and then labor fails me again, that is my greatest fear. I just have to find a caregiver that can be that labor coach I need and help me work through the fear so be sucessful. Then watch out world!! There'll be no stopping me!!







:


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## mommamiagal (Jan 6, 2003)

Hi . Haven't posted in away..remember me agonizing over having a section..4th degree tear w/ shoulder dystocia history. Anyway. My section is planning for next Tuesday, day after Labor Day.
I was wondering how you handled taking care of the baby in the hospital , with nursing and everything when it's hard to move around. Any advice.

Maria


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommamiagal*
Anyway. My section is planning for next Tuesday, day after Labor Day. I was wondering how you handled taking care of the baby in the hospital , with nursing and everything when it's hard to move around. Any advice.

Maria

Make sure that you have a SOLID support team to stay with you in the hospital. Make your voice known BEFORE the c-section how important breastfeeding is to you and how you want that baby latched on to you as soon as possible.

You will be drugged up and shaking probably. I couldn't physically nurse DS without someone helping me for at least 8 hours after surgery. DO NOT let the nurses take your baby out of the room. Just have your partner or support person take care of the baby. Tell your support people this too. You might be too out of it depending on how much they drug you up to say anything.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Any help you can get from your dh or other support person is wonderful. It's much easier if you can use the bed to help get into a nursing position before someone else hands you the baby (for the first few days, at least). Once you're a bit mobile, you can _probably_ take him/her out of the bassinet from the bed.

Also - don't let the nurses tell you what position to use. They all love the football hold and side-lying, but those positions don't work for me at all. I'm better off to just hold baby in a cradle hold, despite a bit more pressure on the incision. I'm not saying that you should use the cradle hold - just make sure you find out what works for _you_!

As other posters have said, it does help to get on your feet asap. DH spent most of the three days in the hospital with me, and we'd walk around the ward with him carrying the baby, while I focussed on staying upright. But, I did push baby around the ward in the bassinet a few times. I wasn't quite up to walking very far while carrying him, so I only did that within my room.

hmm...none of that's very helpful, but if I think of anything else, I'll let you know.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Oh - and another thing. Decide ahead of time about morphine. They routinely administer it here, and I find the itching (you may not get any, but many moms do) more distracting than pain when trying to nurse my baby.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Is morophine part of the perkoset (sp?) family? I am allergic to perkoset and so I got something else that actually I liked much better it didn't totally knock me on my butt. It started with a D I will have to go home and look at my bottle.


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

I echo Lisa - try to get on your feet as soon as possible. And sinch that belt thing they put around your waist up tight!! My husband made me laugh and it hurt, but I think that actually helped me heal faster. I took lots of Motrin and was still able to BF without any ill affect to ds.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PaytonsMom*
And sinch that belt thing they put around your waist up tight!! My husband made me laugh and it hurt, but I think that actually helped me heal faster. I took lots of Motrin and was still able to BF without any ill affect to ds.

What belly thing? I never had one. Will I not heal as well because of it?


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

It's a big white velcro "belt" the nurses put around my abdomen to kinda cinch things up. I don't think it's needed for healing, but it sure felt good- and hurt when it was loosened... I've also heard that just placing a pillow over your belly to add some extra pressure will feel good but I never tried that.


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## mommamiagal (Jan 6, 2003)

Thank you for all of the advice. What do you suggest for pain relief if I forgo the duramorph? I believe I am getting a spinal, which only lasts a couple of hours. I already told my doctor that I do not want any mind altering drugs or anything that will make me groggy. I do not want to be itching from duramorph, any suggestions? Would motrin alone get me past those first few days? I bought the belt from Babies R us. I think I am all set.

Thanks.

Maria


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommamiagal*
What do you suggest for pain relief if I forgo the duramorph? I believe I am getting a spinal, which only lasts a couple of hours.....I bought the belt from Babies R us. I think I am all set.

I had duramorph after my first c section and the itching was terrible. This time, since I had GA, the OB was going to give me morpheine via the PCA (patient controlled analgesia) pump, but I asked if he could give me something else. He gave me Dilauded instead. Its a different form of morpheine and I didn't react to it.

I never had one of the belts, although I can see where they would be helpful. I liked to wear tight exercise shorts (not super tight, but snug) to hold in my belly and that worked really well for me.


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## ruby slippers (Aug 21, 2005)

I never had the belly thing either. My best piece of advice would be to get out of bed as soon as you can. I breastfed the baby skin to skin in the recovery room with the help of the nurses. I also held the baby in the OR - the midwife lay the baby on my chest (all wrapped up though) but it still was so important to me as that is one thing I had imagined would happen with my vag delivery - you know the baby comes out screaming and the place him/her on your chest. The first day was a bit of a blur - the baby was born at 9am - but the next day I said I wanted the IV out, the foley out and with the help of my dh and percocet I was out of bed. Gas pain was bad. I have read that chewing gum after the surgery can help prevent gas pain.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ruby slippers*
My best piece of advice would be to get out of bed as soon as you can.

Yes, getting out of bed as soon as you can is critical. Within 12 hours of my surgery this last time I was up and walking (slowly), without a catheter and eating real food.

I would also pack your regular clothes for the hospital. It made me feel so much more human and less of a "patient" to be in my own clothes. Remember to take your own toiletries, etc. Most hospitals these days provide nothing. I also always bring 2-3 pillows from home. The ones at the hospital are crappy. Make sure they are in older, brightly colored pillowcases, so housekeeping doesn't walk away with them.

This last time I had a way fancy bed that would automatically inflate and deflate when you placed weight on it for long periods of time. (Not sure how to describe it.) Its goal was to relieve pressure and to help prevent clots. It was weird at first, but it was SOOOO comfy at night. I missed that bed after I got home. I also missed the controls to raise and lower the bed. That makes it so much easier to get out of bed without putting pressure on the incision.

Also, make nice with the nurses and ask them to wake you at night so that you don't miss your pain meds dose. I missed one the second night and I felt like crap for half the next day while I was chasing the pain from that missed dose. But as long as I stayed on top of the pain meds, I never had any trouble.


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## soccerchic21 (Jan 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *egoldber*
He gave me Dilauded instead. Its a different form of morpheine and I didn't react to it.


That is what I had and I liked it. I definitely feel more "with it" when I take it. Here is a tip. I would take a half dose then an hour or 2 hours later take the other half and space it out. If I took the whole dose I got really sleepy so I would only take a whole dose if I was in a lot of pain.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I switched to Tylenol on the second or third day this time. But, they were giving me an anti-inflammatory, as well. Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of it. I guess it probably helped, but I'm not sure how much.

I find the opposite of the pp who said to have a nurse wake you up for your pain meds. I think everybody has to work that one out for themselves, but I'd have rather had the sleep - they woke me up for everything that crossed their minds...checking vitals, giving me meds, baby needs to eat (because I'd forgotten to record a feeding







: , etc., etc., etc. My first night home, I got about three times as much sleep as I had at the hospital - with nothing but over-the-counter Tylenol for pain relief.

Honestly, if I do have a fourth section, I'm tempted to check myself AMA on the second day, then go back to have my staples removed. I find it very hard to rest and relax at the hospital.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccerchic21*
Here is a tip. I would take a half dose then an hour or 2 hours later take the other half and space it out.

Hm. Mine was not an oral med, but in a PCA pump through my IV. It was a substitute essentially for Duramorph since I did not have an epidural. Anyway, I only had it for about 12 hours until they removed the IV. After that I got Percocet (a codeine form with tylenol) and ibuprofen.

I have never heard of an oral form of Dilaudid. Maybe Darvocet?

ETA: D'oh! Never mind, just looked it up and Dilaudid is indeed available in tablet form.


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## PaytonsMom (Aug 31, 2005)

I only got to see my baby in the OR. They held him up next to my arm so I could see that precious face. Just seeing him was the medicine I needed to relax and I was able to sleep until they woke me up in the recovery room. Soon after I woke up there DH brought him to me and I was able to BF him almost instantly. Since I couldn't have a natural birth, at least BFing him came very natural.

I had my scetion almpost a year ago now but now that you mention it, I do rememebr the itching was awful as well. I think I was just given some Benedril.

I didn't know you could buy those belts. Mine was a "gift" from the hospital.


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## chantald (Oct 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommamiagal*
Thank you for all of the advice. What do you suggest for pain relief if I forgo the duramorph? I believe I am getting a spinal, which only lasts a couple of hours. I already told my doctor that I do not want any mind altering drugs or anything that will make me groggy. I do not want to be itching from duramorph, any suggestions? Would motrin alone get me past those first few days? I bought the belt from Babies R us. I think I am all set.

Thanks.

Maria


I had a spinal with my second section, at 11pm. That night I was able to self dose with the IV pain meds in my room and the next day I was able to have Percoet and Tylenol.. alternating.. to help with the pain. My situation was a little different. My c/s was after 4 hours of hard pushing.. and I also had a nicked bladder from the surgery.. so I was is a little worse shape than most I think.. I felt like I had been hit by a truck the next day but by day 2 post c/s I was feeling good and could request my meds when I needed them

Chantal


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Ok, I know On The Fence normally starts these, but since it is the first of September I thought I'd go ahead and start a new thread, so this one doesn't get too long.

So, everyone check in on the new thread! See you there.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

You should add a link to the new thread.







That way everyone will be able to find it.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

Being new to MDC I'm not sure how to add the link to the new thread. If anyone can do that or could tell me how, that would be great!


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Heyla all!

I didn't see a september cs thread, so I thought I'd post this here...

I had a cesarean with my first baby just five months ago. The incision has healed up really well and I've been doing my "scar therapy/massage" faithfully without a problem, but in the last few weeks I've been getting a nagging ache along the incision area (actually, a little above the incision and only on the right hand side)...in the last few days this ache has been almost constant. It kind of reminds me of the round ligament pain I had during pregnancy.

My doctor said it's nothing to worry about (yeah, it's not her belly!) and I half think it might be due to the fact that my dd tends to kick the right side of my belly in her sleep (and sometimes when she's nursing) but...I'm not convinced that that is the entire answer.

Does anyone have any advice (stretches, topical rubs, massage ideas) for relieving this sort of ache? Or experience with a similar pain along the incision site months after it has apparently healed? I've tried some gentle yoga poses that stretch the ab area and a topical arnica/calendula ointment, but I'm sure there must be other things to try.

Thanks for any and all advice!


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