# Moms of boys.....fascination with <ahem>



## TeaBag (Dec 18, 2003)

the penis???

Ds is five and I swear, he thinks the thing is going to fall off if he doesn't have at least one hand on it at all times. It doesn't matter what he's doing...telling a story? He's fondling himself. Reading? Fondling himself. Playing? Fondling himself. Just standing there? Yep, you guessed it, he's well, you get the idea...I've explained that if he wants to touch himself, he needs to do it in the privacy of his own room, it's not something we do in public. But it's like he doesn't even think about it....his hands are at the perfect level so if they are not otherwise occupied, there they are! I told him yesterday that his penis is like his ears, it won't come off if he doesn't have his hands on it! LOL! I'm not sure if this is a normal part of development. Dh isn't here, so it's not something I can ask him about. Is this something he'll outgrow on his own? Or do other boys this age do the same thing? Am I just too sensitive to it? I just keep seeing him playing with himself while we're in the grocery store, the playland, the park, etc and I keep thinking that he should start recognizing that certain behavior is for private and certain behavior is acceptable in public.

Anyone else? Any thoughts?

Thanks so much!
Florence


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## khrisday (Mar 18, 2002)

I think it's perfectly normal, but I also think you do have to be consistent with having him go in another room if he is playing. Eventually he will get it. Don't make it a punishment, but just like we go in the bathroom to go potty, that is somethign we do in private.


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

I shouldn't be posting, I have a little girl...

But I just wanted to butt in and say that my dd bites her nails to disfigurement (bloody shredded cuticles), and I have been "this close" to suggesting she touch her genitalia instead, just to have something else to do with her hands!

We also use the "that's something you do in private, when no one can see you" suggestion for nose picking (and eating







)....


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## muse (Apr 17, 2002)

hate to tell you, but i don't think he's doing that to stop it falling off, but because it _feels good!_ :LOL i think it's totally normal and that he should be allowed ot explore his own body, but not outside, at school around other kids, etc...like picking your nose or something, it's a private activity with no shame attached







:


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

Oh, I think this is normal. The other day he walked out of the bathroom waved it around (Okay, he's four, not a whole lot to wave) and said , "My penis is big and giant!" Oh, boy!

If you were to ask DH he would also say it is a lifelong obsession.


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## CTMOMOF2 (Aug 7, 2003)

Totally normal, and i'm sure they do it because it feels good. My little brother does this all the time and he's gotten in trouble in school for "adjusting" himself because he's always got his hands there!!

ds does this when he has to pee, i always say "do you ahve to pee?" and if he says no, than i say "well is everything ok w/your penis, why are you holding it?" and he just stops... I tell him the same thing... you can touch it in your room or bathroom, not out in public.... and i also add that no one else is allowed to touch it!! (just in case, i figure this is a good time to mention it to him!)


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## Bearsmama (Aug 10, 2002)

DS is only 2, but he is already sort of enamored with his penis (and his behind). I've heard from a friend of an older boy (6) that they just get more into it as the years go on, of course!


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## kimmysue2 (Feb 26, 2003)

Mine is two too is a grab and pull kind of boy.


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## TeaBag (Dec 18, 2003)

Whew! Thanks so much! I thought he was the only one...although why I thought that I don't know. I guess most of our friends who have kids, have girls, so I'm not sure...I am pretty consistent on the "we do that in private places" thing....

I remember when he was about three, he discovered an erection while he and I were sitting on the couch together. This is the conversation that followed.

"Mommy! Look! My penis is *REALLY* big!"
"Yep, it sure is, Honey"
"Why?"
"Oh, it just does that sometimes. That's how God made you."
"Oh" with this thoughtful voice.
He gets up and is walking around. It was just after Easter time and we had plastic eggs laying around. I doze off (early pregnancy). I wake a few seconds later to "Mommy! Look, I can hold up an egg!!!"
"You know what, Honey? Go show Daddy!"

LOL!! Are girls the same way? I've got the two younger than him are both girls and I'm wondering what to expect. In our house, this was totally taboo growing up, so I'm not sure what to expect from my girls!! LOL! Thanks again, Ladies. I feel tons better now.


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## northwoods1995 (Nov 17, 2003)

:

Oh that egg story is too funny!!!

My DS is only 7 months and already every time we change his diaper, his little hands go straight for his penis!


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

My older son never did much of this stuff, but OH BOY, watch out for my little guy! Never thougth I would hear myself saying the words, _Sweety, its not okay to play with your penis and snuggle in bed with your mommy both at the same time.... Please go do that in your own room, okay?"_








It just doesn't sound right, does it???

DH and I are both







re: the egg story!!!!

:LOL


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## muse (Apr 17, 2002)

:LOL :LOL :LOL

I think girls are the smae, but it's juts not quite so visible, kwim?!


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## Silliest (Apr 4, 2004)

OMG! My 3 and a half year old daughter is *so* into penises
(that just sounds so wrong!)

Her aunt bought her an anatomically correct male baby doll over a year ago and she goes through phases where she is just *fascinated* by it.

She will refuse to dress the doll, and insist on wagging it around with her *everywhere*... by the penis!

If anyone visits, that's the first thing she goes for. "Hiya uncle Bob! My baby has a penis! Wanna see?" When a male of any age is around she is prone to asking if she can *see* their penis (Oh. My. Gawd!) and wants to ask if it's bigger or smaller than her baby's penis!

If we go out in the car, the bloody penis-doll has to go too, or she behaves so badly that we simply can't take her, which means that I can't go either (I don't drive, so it's always me staying at home with her when she's losing it). Or, if I have an appointment or something that can't be rescheduled, we have to endure penis-talk the whole time.

At first we thought that matter-of-fact explanations and no-emotional-reaction would cause her to lose interest, but she's very determined... or obsessed... And obviously, she's not touching *the doll's* penis because it feels good (though she does "that other thing" often enough as well)

She's just *really* fascinated by the stupid thing!
I have heard that precocious sexuality is sometimes seen in bipolar kids and others who are a bit "different" but so far she's not diagnosable in any way... just "way out there" sometimes.

No advice  Just embarrassed commiseration!


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## gardeningmom (Mar 4, 2004)

Okay, these storys have me laughing on the ground and a little worried. My 1st ds is only 1 and this is what is coming:LOL


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## Colorful~Mama (Feb 20, 2003)

this is my first son and at 8mos if he's naked he's holding his penis. My dh said when I commented on it "yah, honey...he'll be holding it for the next forty years...or more". lol

i like the "do you have to pee?" "no? then why are you holding your penis" approach. I will hang onto that one.

both my dd's went thru a phase of touching themselves that passed fairly quickly


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Colorful~Mama_
*

i like the "do you have to pee?" "no? then why are you holding your penis" approach. I will hang onto that one.

*
My son's response is always either, _"Because its fun!"_ or it's _"Because I like to!"_


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## mamalita (Jun 5, 2003)

I am literally holding my tummy I'm laughing so much! :LOL I absolutely MUST show this thread to DH!

I have a 21 month old DS and count us in for the hands-on-penis-while-diaper-changing and/or bathing camp! Thanks for letting me know what to expect for the next say, 16 years or so! hee hee!


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

"Because it is fun" equals, that is something you do in private now please go do it privately.

Oh, please teach your child this is not appropriate public behavior. I have nephews that don't get this. One has been sent home for touching/holding himself (he was a 5th grader not a K). They sit at my mil's house holding and "playing" with themselves. UGH!!

My other bil (he is raising his 4 yr old girl) finally threaten them both with bodily harm if they do it around the girls (all the nieces) or his wife. This has been another sore spot. The guilty parents don't get it but my bil guilted the other one into doing something about it, finally. My fil died when youngest bil was 13. My older bil told the younger one dad would be so assumed that you are raising your children so disrespectfully. At this point my mil is just to embarrassed to say anything. The oldest is almost 15 and the youngest is 9.

But on the humorous side: I have a friend that is a minister's wife and a ministers daughter. She is the youngest of 7 girls. She also is the only one that had a toddler boy around her parents. The family is really spread out across the country. On her oldest boys fourth birthday he showed him grandma that if he did this his penis stands up. LOL Grandpa about died laughing. Grandma saw no humor in it and was amazed that the other girls said "That a boy for you".

I also remember when my boy was potty learning he complained that it would stand up on him. He later informed me (all seriously) that he did not like blue jeans because they rub his penis wrong.


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## Monica (Mar 7, 2002)

My ds is 4 1/2 and this behavior has just started in our house. I mean just in the last 2 weeks...he shows it to me whenever he thinks about it and every sentance out of his mouth contains the word penis or wenis. We are asking him to put it back in his pants or go to his room or the bathroom. Today we had a good laugh (secretly) because he accidentally put his underwear on backwards and couldn't get his penis out all day. I hope the outward penis displays don't last too long.


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## Embee (May 3, 2002)

:LOL Thanks for this thread. It's given me a good laugh right where I needed one.

DS potty trained a couple of months ago. Now that his penis is no longer secured behind thick cloth and velcro, he's "all over it" so to speak.







Not that he wasn't interested before but now, he's taken it to a whole new level. It's clear he's figured out that it feels good and he's just going for it (before it just seemed more like curiosity). Indeed, we tell him that it's ok to touch, but to please do so in the privacy of his bedroom. My feeling is like with everything else, it's going to take some serious reps of that line before things sink in.

The other issue we're having is DS thinking it's ok to pee off the front porch, or worse off Grandma's back deck in the middle of Easter dinner. This one however is all on DH. Three days after DS decided he wanted to use the toilet instead of a diaper, DH decided to use the woods (at MY PARENTS property! :mad) instead of the toilet. He's still trying to undo this with DS, but as he's finding, it's not an easy task. Can't seem to explain to DS the proper circumstances of when this is ok behavior. *sigh*

Mirlee -- My DH also would offer that it is indeed, a life long obsession.


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

yep, joe is five, falls asleep every night with his hands in his pants. i think he just holds it to keep it warm. :LOL

glad he is not alone in this!!


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## BoobyJuice (Jun 25, 2003)

None of them are alone in this. Luckily my son doesn't walk around holding it. He's just facinated by erections. From about 2 to 3 years old we had to stop the car and "adjust" his carseat every time he got one. Certain pants still "smush" him. Now he pulls it out of his pants and stares at it in facination. I mean, I'm reading Harold and the Purple Crayon the other night for bedtime stories with him sitting on my lap and we have to launch into the why does it get so big explanation.

But the best is . . . we were at a car stereo store. They had a carpet that looked like a road. We were running on it passing each other. All of a suddent he gets off the road, pulls his pants around his knees and grabs his penis. I run over shouting no, thinking he's about to pee on some rediculously expensive stereo. And he says, "It's OK mommy, I'm just pretending to pee." Pulls his pants up and runs off. Think we've been on a few too many long road trips lately?


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## root*children (Mar 22, 2004)

:







:







: that sounds like exactly something my 3yo would do - pretend to pee in the middle of a store!
We're visisting my mom now and she's really uncomfortable with any mention of a penis (but she's losing this the longer we're here ). So she was being really mean to DS at first and telling him she wouldn't talk to him if he had his hand down his pants. So I had to explain that it just makes some folks uncomfortable and he has to do it while alone. My son also has gone through (and still is) a thing where he must know how big everyone's penis is. He thought his was pretty big until he checked out one of his well-endowed 4yo friends (man, that sounds like a sick thing to say, doesn't it!?:LOL ). That schooled him pretty well though, and hasn't brought it up since!


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

:







: Still laughing at the Easter egg joke!









Oh boy, this thread is funny









So far my ds (7 months old) just touches and pulls at his penis once in a while when I change his diapers.

I can't wait to see the expression on my mom's face (she's only used to girls and I'm her only daughter) if he ever does that when he's older
















:LOL


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