# Explaining the difference between kidding and lying?



## Dragonfly (Nov 27, 2001)

Ds (4.5) is really working through lies lately. We have long conversations about lies and he oftens presents a scenario to me and asks me if he "made a lie." Pretty much every single time, he's just kidding. I'm finding myself floundering in the explanation of why the two are different, though. My explanations are obviously falling short because he gets very wide-eyed and says, "No, mommy, I really did make a lie."

It's not enough to say that kidding is something we do when we're playing a game or making people laugh because neither are always true. And it doesn't work to say that lying is something we do when we're trying to cover up the truth or be mean because the former is something that's accomplished with kidding, as well, and the latter isn't always true.

He's too young to get the meaning of "intentionally deceive" I think, so I'm just at a loss for words. :LOL

Any ideas?


----------



## monkaha (Jan 22, 2004)

We're dealing with similar things here. DD (3.5) will tell me something and then, when I ask her again (knowing that what she said wasn't true) she says "ha ha mama, I was just being silly". All well and good till I rushed out of the shower yesterday because she told me that her brother was playing in the dishwasher, only for her to tell me that she was 'just being silly".







: I kinda went off on a tirade about how it isn't funny, or silly, or cool, or anything, to say that someone is in danger when they aren't. Man, I was mad.







:

I'd love to see how others have handled this-no doubt better than me!


----------



## AmyAngel (Dec 3, 2004)

No advice here, but I'll be watching this thread because I know this issue will come up with me at some point. One of my aunts constantly "kids" (teases and pesters, really) my young cousin, and I suspect that's just how she deals with young kids. I don't like it much, but will need to be able to explain it to my future daughter at some point, because I doubt I can stop the kidding completely.

That's a really tough issue. I wonder if it has to be taught slowly, example after example over time?


----------

