# URGENT advice needed! labor without contractions???



## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

ok i am 39 weeks pregnant, 1.5 cm dilated (as checked 10 days ago) and the baby is very low. my midwife said that i will give birth in 3-4 days but nothing. but for more than a month i am having like cramping of the upper part of the uterus (really painless but powerful) and for a week baby's head is pushing SO hard down there. tonight i barely could sleep and also now in the morning not able too, his head is hitting so hard, sometimes to the point of me screaming, with some cramps down in the abdomen (due to hitting) and nothing more. can a baby be born that way? today have an appointment with my midwife so let's see how much i am dilated, but just wanted to see your opinions before going.
with ds1 i had terribly painful contractions for around 35 hours but he was high and could not descend. they wanted to do c-section but i begged them to wait and he did descend sometime after that. then the doctor broke my waters and contractions stopped all together. they wanted to do pitocin but i begged again not to. so for around 4 hours i was birthing ds who was low at that time (have no idea how much i was dilated though) without ANY contractions. it was very nice and powerful and painless(well except at the end of course). so i did kind of experience no contraction labor with ds, could it be that this is how some poeple give birth? i just want more information on that because i am afraid my midwife will start talking induced labor after hearing all this hitting and pushing thing. can a women give birth with no painful contraction? all that i read is that pain dilates you, so is it nonsense i am talking here???? can i refuse to be induced? please i am waiting for your answers.







s


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## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

I sat at around 4cm for 3-4 wks with my last one.

Then, WHAM, went into labor..had her in 2.5 hrs. (She was also 18 days "overdue")

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. You may just be one of those like me...that kind of hums along with no real "labor" until bing-bang things start jumping and it goes REALLY fast!

Of course you can refuse to be induced. Technically, 4cm is "active labor". I'll tell you that I was not in active labor for a month. IMO, dilation is a TOOL, just like anything else. You'll be fine. It happens when it happens. There is zero reason to induce just because you're dilated past a certian point and just sitting there doing nothing. Nah. The baby's head is probably helping you dilate the way it's supposed to. But those pangs that shoot from your cervix when the head hits, hurts like hell, doesn't it?!?!

Personally, I wouldn't even have the MW come over to check your dilation. Why? It doesn't matter what you're dilated to since you're not in labor. Of course, I'm biased as I don't do cervical checks with my MW (even in labor)...I usually check myself...and only if I think it's necessary.

Otherwise, let your body do it's thing!


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## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

thank you for your fast reply. it was such relief. well, actually it's my midwife who insists to check i dont like checking every now and then too. how do I know if i am actually in active labor if there are no really painful contractions?? can the baby literally jump out!!!!?????? i mean this baby is so puzzling not like my previuos one, i am really about to call my midwife every time but then everything stops. his head does hurt a lot! some times i even imagined next hit and i'll see it between my legs!!!


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## Greenmama2AJ (Jan 10, 2008)

You'll know when you're in labour - dont worry about the baby sneaking up on you.
Look at it this way - if the baby does jump out, LUCKY YOU, lol ;P.
The last week before you give birth is always pretty painful/uncomfortable - especially for 2nd babies. I've known many 2nd time moms who describe what your having.
Good luck


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## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

it's kind of tiring to have all this on and off pains and no real thing going on. thank you mamas, at least now if she checks me and says i am dilated even more, i am sure i will refuse to be induced. but i thought that contractions dilate the cervix, had no idea that baby's head pushing down there can dilate it too...







:


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## MyBoysBlue (Apr 27, 2007)

I had DS2 in 25 minutes. That includes 10 mins of what I thought were just BH contractions that I timed. My water broke and DS was born 15 mins later. I can't believe that I could have birthed him so quickly without my body preparing itself ahead of time with painless contractions. Now that I look back I think that I may of had a few hours of painless contractions ahead of time but I had so many BH contractions every day starting at 12 weeks that I just thought that was what I was feeling.


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## balancedmama (Feb 16, 2007)

I kind of wonder if that head-pushing feeling you're having, along with the cramping, is actually your way of experiencing contractions. Some people just seem to have a lot of pressure in labor, and not much feeling of uterine 'pain'. Do you feel your belly getting hard at all?


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## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *balancedmama* 
I kind of wonder if that head-pushing feeling you're having, along with the cramping, is actually your way of experiencing contractions. Some people just seem to have a lot of pressure in labor, and not much feeling of uterine 'pain'. Do you feel your belly getting hard at all?

That's exactly what i was thinking. All through my first pregnancy, I had felt "contractions" just a gentle tightening. About 2 weeks before dd was born, it happened more often. I figured that was BH... I was at 2 cm for like the last month... I knew I was "in labor" when i woke up and had to CLEAN EVERYTHING. I started timing contractions later that day, and i didn't think anything of it NOT being painful... I mean, my uterus was obviously contracting, and I could feel her head moving around, like she was trying to turn. Really low and grinding and shooting. I didn't expect it to be painful until I was in transition, kwim?

I can understand being weirded out since you had pain with your first-- and because I didn't have early/long pain (I was dialated 7-8cm in the hospital and it didn't hurt before the doc broke the water)... well, I don't even know when to say my labor started.

Anyway, based on my only birth so far, I'd say you are "in labor" but you could stay there for a WHILE.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

You know what being 1.5cm dilated means? It means it's time to start wearing pants to your prenatal appointments and keeping them on.


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## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:

well, actually it's my midwife who insists to check
Sorry, OP, I had to come back to address this. Your MW is your employee....just like if you had a dr.

If you don't want her to check, there are no checks. I HATE checks and made this VERY clear. Do you know how many times my MW checked me? ONCE. Because I asked her to verify that I was at 4cm (3 wks before baby was born). And I've had three children. One check.

It is up to YOU.


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## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
You know what being 1.5cm dilated means? It means it's time to start wearing pants to your prenatal appointments and keeping them on.

lol

EXACTLY!


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## soso-lynn (Dec 11, 2007)

I dilated slowly over about a month before giving birth. I only really went into labour when I was in transition. I went from peacefully reading a book to throwing up and screaming on my hands and knees, involuntarily pushing.

Even then, I did not feel any contractions, just pressure. I am sure that my uterus was contracting, just in the same painless way it had in the past month.


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
You know what being 1.5cm dilated means? It means it's time to start wearing pants to your prenatal appointments and keeping them on.


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## almadianna (Jul 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
You know what being 1.5cm dilated means? It means it's time to start wearing pants to your prenatal appointments and keeping them on.

bwahahahha.

what you said.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

I was 3cm 1 week before labor started with my 2nd. Why would you induce if things seem to be moving along?


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## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

frankly i came back from the appointment kind of nervous. her check DID hurt like hell, i wonder if she was trying to widen something and make things going faster.







...i do feel my uterus contracting just like you describe but since i had these BH contractions since 4th month i just didnt think anything serious of this. anyway yesterday she told me that this pushing of baby's head are actually contractions and that i should time then if i think they are regular.
but what i hated most is that she seemed very uncomfortable waiting past my due date (which is 22 april) and said that she wants to see me on 22 again and will try to dilate the cervix (??) to make things going







i really dont have another option but this midwife and dont want to make problems with her but it makes me feel nervous to things as if things are scheduled and that there is something that SHOULD be done. she checked the amniotic fluid and said everything was fine, so really dont know why all this fuss is for?? i really dont want to be checked again, but she is acting so authoritative.....i also dont want to make problems.
she was saying something like if the baby is born after his due date, he will have wrinkled skin and may need special care (??) ...ds was born 2 weeks after his due date and no problem


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Scary.

She's raising all kinds of red flags for me.

Sounds like she might not be experienced enough to know what she's doing. If you think she'll be helpful at the birth, go ahead and call her when you're in labor, but I don't think I'd bother.

And forget what I said about pants above, don't have any more appointments with her. She's clearly being overbearing for no reason and you don't need that kind of stress.


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## homebirthing (Nov 10, 2002)

Wow. Is there anyone else who can be your midwife within that practice? She is wrong and giving you incorrect advice.

It is very normal and natural for a woman to have her baby anywhere from 38-42 weeks. The coating of vernix (white cheesy stuff) on the babies skin can start to dissipate, which is very normal, the further into your pregnancy you go, and can result in your baby having some NORMAL dry patches on their hands and feet. Nothing that would in anyway harm your baby. As far as the baby needing special care, how in the world would she know what your baby might need. She is looking at a healthy mother and a healthy baby, and making SCARY NEGATIVE assumptions based on absolutely no evidence of anything being wrong.

She is playing what we doula's call the "dead baby" card. She has NO RIGHTS to your body, or your baby. She has to get permission FROM YOU in order to put her fingers in YOUR body. You have the right to SAY NO to ANYTHING that is offered to you. And that is what you should see it as. It is something that is being offered, and you have the right to deny any and all care as you see fit.

It also sounds like she stripped your membranes without your permission, which is not legal. You can expect to have some mild to moderate contractions, and possibly a little bleeding (normal) from this. This may turn into labor, or it may mean you miss a nights sleep because they keep you awake but don't do anything at all to help labor.

Quote:

i really don't want to be checked again, but she is acting so authoritative
Do you know what we call that? A BULLY.

I would suggest what a PP said as well. Wear pants, don't take them off, and you stay in control of YOU BODY and YOUR BABY!!!

Hugs mama.


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## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

well, actually there is another one, but this one is supposed to be better i guess, anyway i would not want to go and change midwives now that i am almost in labor. i dont know why iam so unfortunate with midwives, i had terrible experience with ds1 with a midwife. that makes me want not to call anyone when i am in labor, but i am such a chicken and would get scared easily....although dh is very supportive on homebirth, i am still afraid of being all alone you know. on the other hand i remember my first mw acting terribly authoritative on ds birth and made it turn into hell. i am afraid i am repeating the same thing again this time...








today BH contrations all day long and some 2 very painful strong contractions lasting 3-4 seconds and then nothing....still his head is hitting but not so strong.
i am just so tired and feeling very nervous not to have anyone to trust on my labor when i am about to.







....well except you ladies of course...


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## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

I agree....she is sending up all kinds of red flags for me as well.

My DD was almost 3 wks "overdue". You know what? She wasn't wrinkled, dry, or showing post-date symptoms. She was RIGHT ON TIME.

You are the mom. You can do this.


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## tulsidas (Jun 2, 2006)

Ekatherina,
please try to rest your body and MIND! i am sorry that your MW is filling you with anxiety instead of peace and love. really that is hard. right now you need to be surrounded with goodness. please rest and then be in good company and have your DH take care of you. you sound close and praise that your are having lots of BH. your uterus is getting ready if not actually opening right now.
when your MW checked you did you dilate further?
especailly that your 1st came 2 weeks late let your body take the time.
woman labor differently and not that all births are the same, but you know that with your first you were not text book.
allow your uniquness and beauty to take over and feel comfortable with your bodies wisdom.
i think you should wait as long as you can before you go to the hospital.
peace to you and keep checking in here and give updates.







:







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## cathicog (May 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ekatherina* 
her check DID hurt like hell, i wonder if she was trying to widen something and make things going faster.

Possibly, it is called stripping the membranes- the provider runs her fingers around the inside of the cervix and separates the bag of waters(amniotic sac) from the cervix, it speeds up labor and is a form of induction but the labors are very slow...

Quote:

but what i hated most is that she seemed very uncomfortable waiting past my due date (which is 22 april) and said that she wants to see me on 22 again and will try to dilate the cervix (??) to make things going
I think she is becoming too doctor-like, and if you want a normal labor, I would not go back until the contractions were 2-3 min apart, and lasting 60-90 seconds. Sounds like she has a time schedule to meet.

Quote:

and dont want to make problems with her but it makes me feel nervous to things as if things are scheduled and that there is something that SHOULD be done. she checked the amniotic fluid and said everything was fine, so really dont know why all this fuss is for?? i really dont want to be checked again, but she is acting so authoritative.....i also dont want to make problems.
You might need to become more assertive, quick! She is running all over you. Just because she wants to do something, doesn't mean it is a healthy thing to do. And just because she knows more than you do about most births, doesn't give her the right to run roughshod over your feelings in the matter. The baby isn't overdue. There is no need for such a hurry. I would stay away from her til the baby was almost out!









Quote:

she was saying something like if the baby is born after his due date, he will have wrinkled skin and may need special care (??) ...ds was born 2 weeks after his due date and no problem








Only if the dates are off and it is more than 3 weeks past when they originally thought he would be born. But most babies are born before then! If you can make excuses to not see her, that is what I would do, then call just before the baby is born.If you still want her there, that is.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DoulaSarah* 
It also sounds like she stripped your membranes without your permission, which is not legal.

Is it illegal in Lebanon?


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## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

i really dont know if it's legal or not in lebanon, but i certainly dont feel much trust anymore when she did this. anyway i decided i'll not let her check me again and we will take numbers of other midwives around here just in case. i wont make excuses but just will say that i'd hate being pushed into birthing. if she is still ok with that we'll call her for birth and if not well....i hope we will be able to find someone. please pray for me that everything goes fine, it's scary not to have a trustful person now that i am almost in labor...


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## thixle (Sep 26, 2007)

Trust your intuition. If it feels wrong, it probably is.


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

I don't know what the laws are in Lebanon, but if it is illegal to perform medical interventions without permission of the patient, then stripping membranes without her permission would fall under that category.


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## moodymaximus (Nov 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *attachedmamaof3* 
I agree....she is sending up all kinds of red flags for me as well.

My DD was almost 3 wks "overdue". You know what? She wasn't wrinkled, dry, or showing post-date symptoms. She was RIGHT ON TIME.

You are the mom. You can do this.

and dd was 40w2d and she WAS wrinkled and dry. so what?







you just never know how the baby will come out!

OP, i wish you a peaceful birth.


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## neveryoumindthere (Mar 21, 2003)

I've been following this thread and am hoping things go smoothly for you and you get the birth you want.









I just noticed your location says Lebanon, you mean the country? or the city in the States? Sorry if that's a dumb question. I am from Lebanon (the country--born and raised in canada though) and had no idea midwives even existed/practiced there *shrugs* I wonder if I could ask family members for you if they know of other midwives you could contact. PM me if you think that's something you'd consider.


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## Ekatherina (Sep 20, 2004)

still nothing new here........some contractions kept on waking me up at night but nothing again in the morning. i am from lebanon the country no not the states....it's wonderful to know someone from there on mothering...







yes midwives here are only for extremely poor and that is why our family is totally against. well, they are trying to be supportive though but "the baby should be born by now" nagging already started







:. noone in our family believes in natural birth and they have terrible idea about midwives here. well, actually hospitals are really horrible with high rates of c-section, no encouragement of breastfeeding. yesterday, a very good friend of mine who just gave birth to a little girl told me when i told her that i am thinking of not even calling the midwife "and who is going to pull the baby out of you??? "







....her baby was born by suction for unknown reason ....when i told her that babies are actually born by mothers and not pulled out, she asked "what about the placenta??"







:...what could you expect from the family if poeple who give birth have no idea how they do it.


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## Incubator (May 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dnr3301* 
I don't know what the laws are in Lebanon, but if it is illegal to perform medical interventions without permission of the patient, then stripping membranes without her permission would fall under that category.

I'm pretty sure rape and sexual assault are illegal just about everywhere. Placing your fingers inside of someone and manipulating her cervix without permission certainly falls under _that_ category.


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