# Vent/ have to share sad CIO story



## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

Ok, I need to talk to someone about this. DH's cousin has a 5 months old. Her ped seems to be very anti AP and have outdated information at best. First, he tells them to give him one bottle of formula per day so he gets iron, cause that breastmilk has none. It gets better/worse: at his 4 months WBV he tells them to CIO cause all this waking up is a bad habit







:
They listen to everything their doc says, so of course, they CIO and want to get their sleep. So they moved the boy to his own room and put him in the crib and do not go in the room for 10 hours straight. I know from relatives that CIO does not work for them, he cries every single night for hours. They just don't go in his room. I am so sorry for the baby. He was 4 months old when they started, he's now 5.5 months old and locked in a room for 10 hours every single night. It is so terrible...


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## baglady (Jul 13, 2009)

I guess you aren't close enough to talk to them about it, right?

I sometimes lurk on other boards, and I'm shoked at how common it is to use CIO/Ferber.


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## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

No, talking wouldn't help cause she and her mom are know-it-alls who keep telling us to CIO since DS "still isn;t sleeping through the night". They also advice us to stuff his face with food (cause he nurses too much, eyeroll here)...
The worst thing is that the little boy screams for hours every night! Needing his mommy, needing milk. I feel so sorry for him.


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## baglady (Jul 13, 2009)

It's so frustrating to witness this and be unable to do anything about it.


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## yogafeet (Jul 3, 2007)

OMG that poor baby. Wish I could go hold him!


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

this makes me nauseous. Seriously, I want to throw up,


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## laurelg (Nov 27, 2007)

That breaks my heart in a way it never could have before I had my own LO.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

So sorry to hear this. I know many people who are very into CIO...The idea of carrying him around and going to him didn't settle well...They didn't get it when I "wore" Tyr everywhere. When I went back home (Sm Northern ontario town) and had him in the Ergo as a baby I had the craziest stares.


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## AoifesMom (Sep 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laurelg* 
That breaks my heart in a way it never could have before I had my own LO.
























Yup.


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## kgreenemama (Dec 31, 2008)

My stomach hurts just thinking about that poor baby! Would you be comfortable sending them an article on the negative effects of CIO? There are plenty out there, and maybe they just need a second "expert" opinion, besides their own Ped's.

PLEASE consider intervening!
Good luck!


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## newmum35 (Aug 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kgreenemama* 
My stomach hurts just thinking about that poor baby! Would you be comfortable sending them an article on the negative effects of CIO? There are plenty out there, and maybe they just need a second "expert" opinion, besides their own Ped's.

PLEASE consider intervening!
Good luck!

I agree.. I remember reading a particularly great online article about neg. effects of CIO (must not have bookmarked it?) I wish I could find it for you - maybe someone else can help... I'd print one out and give it to them.

That sounds SO harsh. I don't even know what to say. People just can't think for themselves anymore, they rely on the "experts" for everything and have lost all common sense. Very, very sad.


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## moxygirl (Jun 23, 2009)

Butting in...

This article has great references:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

If you search the site, you'll find a ton more awesome articles on the harms of CIO.

Good luck if you decide to intervene. That really is awful.


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## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

Sigh, thanks for your words mamas. Unfortunately, I won't be heard if I send articles. I know them, and trust me, to them I am the worst mom for still breastfeeding and not having DS on three scheduled meals a day and sleeping through the night. Apparently, DS is incredibly spoiled and hence will turn out to be some crazy wacko.
Instead, they keep sending me CIO info on Facebook and post how I should try it out.







:


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## simplemama32 (Jul 16, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nia82* 
Instead, they keep sending me CIO info on Facebook and post how I should try it out.







:

Probably not the best way to handle the situation...but I would find the best info on AP that I could and send it to them every time they did something like that.







:


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nia82* 
Sigh, thanks for your words mamas. Unfortunately, I won't be heard if I send articles. I know them, and trust me, to them I am the worst mom for still breastfeeding and not having DS on three scheduled meals a day and sleeping through the night. Apparently, DS is incredibly spoiled and hence will turn out to be some crazy wacko.
Instead, they keep sending me CIO info on Facebook and post how I should try it out.







:

I HAVE AN IDEA! Friend me on FAcebook and I will post some stuff to get them to at least READ the stuff I post.. Maybe you could have a few AP friends post some things. I am so sorry you have to deal with that and that poor poor baby has those bright people for caretakers









I read an article that prolonged screaming in infants can cause brain damage...


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## lorettaville (Aug 30, 2009)

this is just so painful to read.


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## spirit4ever (Nov 4, 2004)

not right.......


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## MissE (May 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NaturalMindedMomma* 
I HAVE AN IDEA! Friend me on FAcebook and I will post some stuff to get them to at least READ the stuff I post.. Maybe you could have a few AP friends post some things. I am so sorry you have to deal with that and that poor poor baby has those bright people for caretakers









I read an article that prolonged screaming in infants can cause brain damage...

good call...I guess I'll do the same.

Poor little baby.


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## kai28 (Sep 9, 2008)

That's rough. And the facebook thing made me really mad - it's one thing to disagree, and it's another thing to post advice like that to your profile. Is there an anti-CIO facebook group? I've had FB friends learn I was into AP by the cloth diapering group I had joined, which showed up on my profile.


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## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

well gotta clarify: they send me messages on Facebook, only once she posted something about CIO online (meaning not as a PM). It's when I learned about the CIO thing they are doing, when I was wondering how the 4 months old sleeps 10h through the night...
I just don't really want to give her any advice, cause they don't like me already... I don't wanna deal with feuds in the future. I feel terrible for the baby, but even if I had five medical degrees they wouldn't listen to me








Where can I find the AP/CD/anti-CIO groups on FB though? Me <- wanna join


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## bubbamummy (Feb 25, 2009)

wow, it seems crazy to me how a fully functional adult could even see that as being a 'good idea'. I feel so sad for that poor little baby, how terrible


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## MrsWhite (Sep 2, 2009)

there is a group on facebook called "People against baby trainers" or something close to that


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

I wanted to post w/ support. I almost started a thread like this myself about an friend who keeps posting CIO updates on facebook and her blog. She seems to be in a group of friends who all support her, so my piddly little comments are in the middle of ten comments like, 'It hurts you more than him! Be strong!"









Her last post was "listening to my baby cry is TORTURE, but I know it is right." How does that make sense to anyone???


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I would get a copy of New Yorker that Ferber himself puts the concept down. I would also find them another sleep book.

If they are still leaving him alone 10 hours a night and crying I would call CPS. Even if she was "sleeping through" it would not be a 10 hour stretch and food would be given somewere in there.


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## ShannonT (Dec 6, 2007)

Here's a anti-CIO FB group:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/gr...id=25585462896


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *baglady* 
I guess you aren't close enough to talk to them about it, right?

I sometimes lurk on other boards, and I'm shoked at how common it is to use CIO/Ferber.

not just common, but people really think they are doing the right thing!

Other parenting practices people at least have a sense that they are doing something wrong/ undesirable. I have a coworker that comes and brags to me about how he got his kid to sleep through the night by training/ferberizing her. I can see how a desperate parent might resort to CIO, the way that you would for spanking but to do this deliberately?


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