# How much does your 12-16 month old understand?



## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

ds is 14 months, and I know he has both hearing difficulty and some developmental delays (he's recieving early intervention), but I was shocked to see elsewhere on the web a poll on this subject. I was surprised so few people with young toddlers had the same perceptions of their kids that I have of ds. Maybe he is more delayed than I thought. Obviously there is no surefire way to measure this, but I am curious about your perceptions of your young "toddler." Please post after you vote if you are willing to elaborate.


----------



## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

Well I didn't see where we could vote, but my dd (15 months) understands alot. At least I think so! She understands 2 part sentences, like "Abby, go get your cup and hand it to daddy" or "Give one cookie to Angel and one to Shyloh" (our dogs) She understands how things work, if I have to show her, it's usually just one time. She understands if I ask her "Do you have to pee?" She will go to the toilet. I am constantly amazed at just how much she grasps. Just today, I was babysitting a 3 months old baby, and when she cried, Abby would pat her back and give her the pacifier! (dd is really sweet!) Or when I laid her down to change her, dd would get a wipe and a diaper out for me and 'wipe' her (with help of course). I dont know if this is what you were looking for...
ETA Oh, I just saw the voting thing...She understands most everything I say.


----------



## kamesennin (Jan 3, 2005)

.


----------



## 555Baby (Mar 30, 2005)

My dd is 13.5 months. She definitely understands words and phrases involving things that are part of her every day life--e.g. mama, dada, the cats, sleep, milk, "drinkie" (sippy cup of water), outside, book, dance, throw, eat, kitchen, potty, upstairs. So you can ask her to "give the ball to dada" or "go get the cat!" or "let's go outside/upstairs/to the kitchen!" or whatever and she will understand & participate. But I would not consider her to understand most speech--e.g. conversations between me and dh.

We also do sign language and that has been a pretty positive experience. She has very very few spoken words (mama & dada are pretty much it) but can sign eat, more, milk, cat, baby, dog, sleepy. I guess that doesn't seem like very many words but it covers the most important things she wants to communicate to us.

I have found that having simple constent langauage that gets repeated each time we do a certain thing has really helped her understand more. Every time she goes to bed we say the same things. "Sleepy girl! (over and over) Time to go to bed! Good night! Sleep good, I love you!" Same thing for each main part of our day--eating, walking, etc.

Good luck!


----------



## mamabeca (Oct 3, 2004)

My older dd and I talk a looooot, so I'd say a bit more than half of what we say he actually understands. W/my first, I'd say she understood a LOT more. Like most of what I said, at the same age. She's very verbal, he's very loud (but not especially verbal). He has about 10 words and maybe about that many signs. I don't think he's 'delayed' but I don't think he's the fastest rocket off the launch pad either. Somewhere in the middle, I'd say. He can/knows: get something if I ask him to and point to the object as well as name it, sit, come, wait (yeah right, well, he knows what it means, just doesn't _do_ it!), wash, eat, drink, play, sing, dance, run, gentle, sleep, tired, fast, cold, hot, poopy, potty, O's, milk, music, and a lot of other single type words. He KNOWS them, but he doesn't say them. He knows a lot of them by sign, too, but doesn't sign them. Patience is NOT my middle name - so not too sure where the op was going w/this, but I think normal is a HUUUUGE range. I also think that some parents have unrealistic expectations. and lastly (then I'm off my high horse, for real!), I think a lot of parents lie (or exagerate) about what their toddlers understand/say. W/out any developmental delays/hearing impediments, an 18 month old should be able to say about 20 words (say or sign, technically), and should understand simple commands, hand signals, and basic body language (sleepy, eat, etc.). I think a lot of parents think their kids should know/do more, and so they beef up what the real situation is...kwim?


----------



## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Okay, I just voted in my own poll.

ds understands some key words and phrases, many of which we both sign and say for him multiple times in the day. He seems to understand some words from daily life: for sure he understands dog (a word he says), "kitty cat," more (a word he signs), all done (a phrase he says), outside, mama, baba (aka bottlenurse), hot, bubbles, no, and diaper change.

He may also understand some more words like tubby (that's what we call taking a bath), baby, airplane, bed, etc., but his response is less clear with those words. He used to go stand by his doll when we said "baby," but that has stopped. He doesn't point (and he stopped waving when he learned to clap a month or so ago), so things are pretty subtle with him. Still, there is just this vacant feeling when we say most words. You know when you are saying something to someone and you just get this "huh?" vibe. It's like that *a lot* of the time with him.

I don't think he understands most instructions, even one step. He looks pretty vacant when I ask him to, for example, hand something he is holding to his Mama G. He does open the door to let the dogs outside when asked, but often he was likely on his way to do it anyway...so I am not sure he was actually understanding what we were saying.

He went through a brief period when I could ask him where my nose or mouth was and he would grab the correct body part (on me...he'd never grab his own body parts during this game) about 60 or 70% of the time. He also could do it correctly about 30% of the time when asked where our eyes were. But now he won't do anything at all when I ask him where those parts were. And again, he has gone back to seeming like he doesn't understand what I am saying at all during the game.

BTW, thanks mamabeca for the reassurance. I hope that is the case because the results of the survey so far look like ds is really on the slow end.


----------



## tatermom (Jun 11, 2005)

Sierra, I just wanted to point out what a huge difference there is between 14 and 16 mos... DS just turned 16 mos, and when I think back to even 2 months ago, I thing he was understanding a lot less. Now I think he can pretty much understand everything that is directly addressed to him (and sometimes I'm surprised at how much he is listening to DH's and my conversations with each other (yikes!)), but certainly I wouldn't have said the same 2 or 3 months ago. Not only do kids develop at a different pace, but they seem to go in leaps and bounds. I wouldn't worry if I were you... a month or two from now your DS might be totally different!


----------



## zaner'smama (Dec 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sierra*
Okay, I just voted in my own poll.

ds understands some key words and phrases, many of which we both sign and say for him multiple times in the day. He seems to understand some words from daily life: for sure he understands dog (a word he says), "kitty cat," more (a word he signs), all done (a phrase he says), outside, mama, baba (aka bottlenurse), hot, bubbles, no, and diaper change.
He may also understand some more words like tubby (that's what we call taking a bath), baby, airplane, bed, etc., but his response is less clear with those words. He used to go stand by his doll when we said "baby," but that has stopped. He doesn't point (and he stopped waving when he learned to clap a month or so ago), so things are pretty subtle with him.

He went through a brief period when I could ask him where my nose or mouth was and he would grab the correct body part (on me...he'd never grab his own body parts during this game) about 60 or 70% of the time.

Hi, My nearly 15 month son sounds a lot like yours. He uses a lot of the same words, although many are very hard to understand. He learns things, then seems to forget (ie. Where's your nose?). Or sometimes I just don't think he's in the mood.
I read a book called "What's Going On In There?" (by Lise Eliot, Ph.D.) and she says somewhere around 15-18 months babies go through a cognitive explosion where they pick up all sorts of new words and understand things so much more clearly. This is my theory about why my son is wanting to nurse so much right now -- his brain is revving up for this.
Also, I understand how hard it is not to worry. My niece's speech is absolutely amazing and she seems so far ahead (entire ABC song at 17 months, etc.). I try not to compare them, and know that they each develop in their own time.
~Betsy


----------



## jocmtl (Nov 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zaner'smama*
...I read a book called "What's Going On In There?" (by Lise Eliot, Ph.D.)...

Hi Betsy,

Just curious, would you recommend that book?

BTW, I'd say our almost 16 month old understands a lot, but it's so hard to know how much. He astounds us constantly with how many words he knows, and how many instructions he can follow.


----------



## zaner'smama (Dec 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jocmtl*
Hi Betsy,
Just curious, would you recommend that book?

I would. It is really interesting -- talks about how the brain develops prenatally and through the first 5 years. And how each of the senses develop. My husband read it first and I'm actually still working on it, but we've both gotten a lot out of it.
~Betsy


----------



## kate~mom (Jul 21, 2003)

ds is just 15 months and i voted about half. in the past month, his receptive vocabulary has just exploded - but even so,i don't think he understands more than half. it could be more - he astounded us this weekend by telling us where his nose and belly are, and by picking up 5 new signs after being introduced and paired just once!


----------



## newmomma2005 (Oct 16, 2004)

My son is just nearing 16 months, and I would say he understands just about everything I say to him. The two part instructions he gets as long as I keep repeating myself until he is done with the task, he gets distracted very very easily. He says about 22 words clear enough for me, hubby and the grandparents to understand them. An odd one is my cousin's daughter's name "Tabitha" What a complicated word to pick up? Everything else is normal first word stuff, mama, ni-night, etc. We have never taught signing, but he is full of body-language, he does this twisting of this first finger put to his thumb for CAR KEYS, as he tries to say it, but it sounds like just CAR- "K" (the K sound). And he "sneaks" by crouching a bit and bending his knees as he walks up behind someone to say "BOO". Makes a splashing motion when the tub or the pool are mentioned, things like that.
Being my first child, and being the youngest in the family by about 8 years he is never around other children's chatter at home, just at playgrounds and such and I was a talkative toddler myself (Doesn't seem to have worn off at all either) So I think all those things attribute to our situation as I am sure all the other situations have their specificities.








:


----------



## speedknitter (Aug 20, 2004)

From what I have heard, they sometimes "forget" things because their brains are busy working on something else. The thing that they used to know will come back eventually...

I can't remember where I read that but will try to find the reference.


----------



## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

I think I'll have to process this for a while and come back to it. According to this poll, 6 votes were for less than half, and only 4 more for half. (Only 10 votes total in the bottom four options.)

...This, in contrast to a total of 51 votes for more than half (the top three options only)!

Even accounting for the number of people who may have voted who have children slightly older than ds (who is going to be 15 months in seven days), that is pretty daunting, as ds falls in the "only a few words and phrases" category. Unless I am not giving him enough credit in my perception, he's much more delayed than I thought he was.

This is likely a cognitive issue for him (his birthparents have cognitive disabilities), complicated some by a bit of hearing loss. Wow. I am blown away.


----------



## apple_dumpling (Oct 20, 2004)

Sierra,

My dd is 16 months, and she only has a few words and phrases... I do think she understands much more than she can say. For example, if I tell her to do something (like please pick up the ball) most of the time she will do it, so I know she can understand things. Exactly how much, I just don't know.

As far as talking, I personally don't feel that she is really behind... and I don't think your ds is really delayed either. I have known kids who were still just saying a few words and phrases at 18 months, and language explosions can sometimes happen overnight! So please try not to worry too much, give him a little more time to work it all out









My dd can say mama, dada, what's this, oh wow, bye bye, and randomly a couple of other things (I say randomly because sometimes she says something and then I don't hear her say it again. I know she can say it... but she doesn't *use* it.

I'm sure he'll be ok, and if he still isn't talking much at 18 months maybe think about EI or something... that's sort of my plan for right now, although deep down I feel that dd is fine, she's just a bit slower on the language thing.


----------



## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Ds jsut turned 1 and he undrstnads when I go "eh eh" meaning don't touch and he understands YUCK. He understands when I say, "what's in your mouth" because he takes off laughing!! He tunrs when his name is called and I think he knows his sister's name and mama and dada.


----------



## crazydiamond (May 31, 2005)

My DD is 14 mos and I voted "a few key words and phrases". She understands words like no, danger, food, up, sleep, binky, nummies, etc. She also understands (but not always follows LOL) simply commands like "Please bring that to me." But I would say that by and large, she doesn't understand most of what we say.


----------



## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *apple_dumpling*
As far as talking, I personally don't feel that she is really behind... and I don't think your ds is really delayed either.

His expressive language (talking) is within the range of normal, I think. It's the receptive language that I was worried about.

Receptive language is more concerning to me anyway, to be quite honest, as it is almost always a cognitive issue when there isn't significant hearing loss. Developmental delays in expressive language have a variety of causes.

Quote:

I'm sure he'll be ok, and if he still isn't talking much at 18 months maybe think about EI or something...
He already is in early intervention. Both at 5.5 months and 12 months, he scored below the mean on a standardized test in all areas of development except social (for which he scored slightly above the mean). His language development significantly deviated from the norm (lack of cooing), enough to qualify him for EI at 6 months. But I guess I've just sort of held onto the idea that this would be an expressive issue, or at least a balance of receptive and expressive. And what blew me away is that according to what his peers are doing, it looks more receptive.

This isn't entirely unexpected. Unlike folks who have every reason to believe their children will develop normally, because of his birthfamily history, my ds will have to fight against the odds to develop normally. It's not that I expect it to go either way. My ds is who he is, and I am open to learning who that is. It's just that I don't have the "luxury," I guess, of "wait and see."

However, I have to admit it was reassuring this morning to see a few more votes in the same range he is in, and also another post or two. So that gave me a little hope this may still be in the range of normal.

I can tell, though that I still need to take some time to process this. So off to return to processing...


----------



## AmieV (Mar 31, 2005)

I wanted to ditto tatermom. DD is almost 17 months and I am continually shocked at how much she understands, but she definitely wasn't at this level a few months ago. At 14 months I bet it was a little over half of what I said she understood. But now we'll be reading a book and there will be something mentioned about stretching and she reaches her arms way up...I don't ever remember even teaching he what "stretching" is! And at 15 months she had maybe 5 words/signs? Now she has over 20. There's a big language jump around the 18 month mark so he may just shoot up and surprise you. And, if not, all the EI stuff you're doing is GREAT. Two of my best friends are speech pathologists, one works with 0-3 yo's and what they have drilled into my head is that the earlier you get started the better.

The other thing to keep in mind is no matter how smarty smart someone makes their kid out to be, most kids balance out and are at roughly the same level by age 3 (I think...I could be off on that) no matter how "advanced" they were as babies.

also...he could understand more than you think...is he kind of a strong willed child at all? I know there are PLENTY of commands that my daughter understands but still doesn't do.


----------



## speairson (Jul 25, 2005)

I voted that dd can understand a little more than half of what I say. Although I was thinking more of everything I say at all, not just to her. When I'm talking to her at her level I would say she understands almost everything, but like when I'm talking to dh with her in the room I don't think she understands our conversations.


----------



## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

I voted in the "most of what we say" category...dd is 15 months, has a spoken vocab of about 30 words in english, 15-20 in french, and a vocab of maybe another 15-20 words in ASL. But in comprehension she's always surprising me...she'll follow multi-step verbal instructions (pick up the stuffed dog and give it to dh, then put the block on the table), pick up elements from conversations between DH and myself (like going and getting her shoes/coat when DH and I are discussing visiting relatives), etc.

But I think a lot of it is genetic...I know from my mom that my brother and I both spoke in full sentences before we were a year old and all of my aunts/uncles/random relatives were also early walkers and talkers. One of my cousins started talking in understandable words and walking without support when he was 5 months!

I think there's a really really wide range of "normal" out there and IE is a wonderful service. Two of my friends have had "late" talkers (one wasn't using any words at 24 months, another had only 5-6 words at 3 years!) so I know how stressful it can be to think that there is something "wrong" going on...but really...you're getting the IE, you're actively working to help your little one, and you're a loving involved committed mother. Little ones with speech or other early delays often bounce up, catching up with their age group by kindergarden.

I live in a big academic town and we often take dd to participate in infant development studies. One of the professors who studies language acquisition told me that there seems to be a "magic" quality to the number 40. Once a child has 40 words they use correctly and consistently then the language explosion really hits. It could take a child longer to reach that 40 word threshold, but once that explosion hits the child who was delayed often catches up in a short period of time. SO I totally understand not being able to take a "wait and see" attitude, BUT try not to worry...there's such a huge range of normal out there!


----------

