# Doula for second birth?



## Jayray (Oct 13, 2008)

I did not have a doula at my first birth (although I had a friend there in addition to my husband), which was at a free-standing birth center with midwives. I think my birth was fine and good, but a doula would really have been nice. The midwife was a lot less interactive than I thought she would be and my husband, despite a lot of coaching beforehand, felt helpless and didn't do a lot.

I think a doula would be really nice to have, but I also have a feeling that this second baby is going to come quickly. I don't know if I want to spend $500-700 for a doula that's with me for two hours--KWIM?

I guess you never know what can happen. A second baby can take longer than the first.

Any opinions?? Any experiences??


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## RoseRedHoofbeats (Feb 27, 2008)

I am definitely hiring a doula this time around, even though I'm having a homebirth. My husband kind of sucks at labor support and I'm the kind of person that needs a lot of physical touch, so I know I'll use her.

~Rose


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## memz (Feb 1, 2007)

I had a doula for first and only birth and it was the best decision of my life. And I will ask her to be there for my second birth, once I do get pregnant







I also thought that 500 was a lot for a couple of hours, but then my birth lasted 36 hours and she was there for 24....so she earned it.. And now she holds a special place in my heart for sharing this very special moment with us.

So if you can afford it, I would go ahead and hire one.. Totally worth every penny!


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## mamaw/two (Nov 21, 2005)

If it's the money you are worried about, you can find a doula that is working to become certified - they need to attend three births and do them for free. I have had 4 all natural births, only had a doula for the fourth and she was totally worth it- she was only with us for about 5 hrs, but I would hire her again in a heartbeat.


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## kythe (Dec 20, 2007)

I had both of my babies in a free standing birth center, but didn't use doulas. I wish I had for my second birth.

My first birth went as well as I could have hoped for. My midwife served the role of a doula, providing emotional support and ideas for positions and working through contractions.

I had two midwives with my second, but didn't really "connect" with either of them since they concentrated more on paperwork and the medical aspects, not so much labor support. I was only in labor for 2 hours, but short doesn't necessarily mean a less intense experience. I felt alone during labor, and my son had difficulty breastfeeding because of latch problems. This is where a doula would have come in, as someone who was there just to support me.


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## windymama (Nov 30, 2010)

I didn't have a doula with my 1st but did with my 2nd and will be hiring another one with this baby. I don't know how I would have done it without mine with DD. She was there as my sounding board, reminding me of the pros and cons of some of the interventions I faced (without saying what I should/shouldn't do) as well as physical support for when things really got going.

I know a lot of doulas where aren't just focused on labour, their fees also include prenatal and postpartum visits/assistance. Plus many offer sliding scale of fees depending on circumstance. It's worth seriously considering.


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## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

(X-posted in the other thread about doulas)

I didn't have a doula for my first birth, partly because we lived somewhere where they were almost unheard of, so it would have been difficult logistically, but also because my DH was uncomfortable with the idea. He figured he should be able to do all the supporting. But he hardly read anything about birth during my pregnancy, didn't really know much about my birth plans, and didn't really want to talk about ways he might be able to help support me himself. I put up with it because I knew he really wanted it to be 'me and him' - also because my MW assured me that she would be able to provide doula-like support herself.

Well, it all went horribly wrong. The MW was anything but supportive, DH slept through half my very long and painful labour and sat around on his computer for much of the rest of it, I ended up being coerced into a hospital transfer where I suffered birth rape while DH stood by and watched, despite the fact that I had told him that it was really important that he stand up for me with any doctors if we did transfer - he was just a rabbit in the headlights. I suffered huge PTSD and our marriage nearly ended because of it all.

When I got pregnant the second time I put my foot down and insisted that I was having a doula. DH was again reluctant, but I pointed out that she might actually be able to help him to help me, and gently reminded him of how horribly badly things had gone the last time - where I'm sure that with more support, both of a practical and emotional sort, I would have been able to have DD1 at home as planned. The doula was a godsend during pregnancy, because I was utterly terrified due to the trauma I had suffered first time around. She listened to all my concerns and helped me come up with plans and strategies for every imaginable scenario - and also helped me to get in contact with the right person when I needed to negotiate expectant management for my post-dates pregnancy.

In the end, I had a UC - without even DH or the doula!! UC had been a possible game-plan for me, though I hadn't banked on labour going so quickly that neither DH nor the doula had time to get there - they were both only about half an hour's travel away!! But regardless, I'm still incredibly glad that we hired her - just for the peace of mind she provided me during pregnancy alone. She cost £500 and didn't even attend me in birth, but she was sooo worth it!


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## Nicoleandco (Dec 21, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamaw/two*
> 
> If it's the money you are worried about, you can find a doula that is working to become certified - they need to attend three births and do them for free. I have had 4 all natural births, only had a doula for the fourth and she was totally worth it- she was only with us for about 5 hrs, but I would hire her again in a heartbeat.


Doulas who are certifying don't actually have to do them for free....although a lot do. You may also be able to find a doula that works on an hourly basis...although that could work against you. If you really can't afford a doula, talk to some. Most will have payment plans and sliding scales.

Keep in mind that doulas aren't just there for the birth...we are with you during pregnancy too. I spent hours rubbing the feet/legs of a client after a difficult prenatal drs appointment. I also provide several appointments, each being a mini childbirth class.

I didn't have a doula with my first, and regret it. When we have out next one, I'm getting a doula right away (actually she's my backup doula and bff).

Good luck!


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