# ridiculous things children say in public restrooms



## newbiemama09 (Dec 17, 2009)

in the McDonald's bathroom the other day I overheard a 2 or 3 year old ask her mommy "why her panties looked like that?" and I thought, what better way to brighten the day by sharing stories of all the hilariously embarrassing and over-sharing children do and say in public restrooms.

So, share! Share!


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

My 2 year old DS asked me in a very busy Ikea bathroom.

"Mama where your Diva cup go?"
"Your Diva cup go in your vulva mama?"
"Your Diva cup have menstrual blood mama?"

The whole time me whispering "yes, shhhh" and trying not to laugh.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

My 4 year old in a YMCA locker room after we went swimming:

"I love your boobs!! I LOVE YOUR BOOBS!!! They are jiggly!!! Let me squeeze your boobs!!"

This is not an everyday conversation, just somehow it came up right there.


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## newbiemama09 (Dec 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *butterfly_mommy* 
My 2 year old DS asked me in a very busy Ikea bathroom.

"Mama where your Diva cup go?"
"Your Diva cup go in your vulva mama?"
"Your Diva cup have menstrual blood mama?"

The whole time me whispering "yes, shhhh" and trying not to laugh.









oh my goodness! way to teach your daughter the proper terms for female anatomy!


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newbiemama09* 
oh my goodness! way to teach your daughter the proper terms for female anatomy!









lol I noticed she said DS not DD


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## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

In a crowded Target bathroom: wow, that's really good wiping, Mama.

I was cleaning HER up at the time, I don't know why that time was so special.


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## TnMsMama (Jul 12, 2010)

"Mama, why is your Mr. Winkie so hairy??" in the restroom at a semi-fancy restaurant. Best part was the lady in the next stall attempting to smother her laughter. (I made an appt with the waxer the next day!)

DS was about 3 at the time and had been taught "mr. winkie" by his father for his penis. A long conversation ensued after that, but in private LOL


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

"Mama.... I'm holding my penis! See!!! Pee goes in the potty!"

(We were having issues with him just peeing towards the potty but not actually paying attention to getting it IN the potty)

"Ewww.... you made it stinky Mama! Please Mama- let me out of here!"

Complete with gagging noises while I'm trying to wipe with one foot on the door so he couldn't open it. I could hear a few people snickering with that one.

"Oh Mama- Where did your penis go??? Did it fall off??? Is it in the potty???"

We had a talk later about how females don't have a penis


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## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

"Mom, are you gonna poo? You need to poo. Cause those farts in the car smelled really nasty!"










That's just a recent one that's gotten snickers from other people in the same restroom.

He's said some other things that were way more shocking regarding my "blood".







Which is why now I make him stand just outside the stall where I can see his feet.


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## PrincessWinnie (May 24, 2005)

DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a *BIG* penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"


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## newbiemama09 (Dec 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lonegirl* 
lol I noticed she said DS not DD



















Quote:


Originally Posted by *StephandOwen* 

"Ewww.... you made it stinky Mama! Please Mama- let me out of here!"

Complete with gagging noises while I'm trying to wipe with one foot on the door so he couldn't open it. I could hear a few people snickering with that one.
















i would just die!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrincessWinnie* 
DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a *BIG* penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"























OMG!!!!!!!! i am SOOOOOOOOO telling DH about this one!!!!


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrincessWinnie* 
DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a *BIG* penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"

I'm also sharing this one with DH. That.is.awesome.


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## mamaw/two (Nov 21, 2005)

This thread is hilarious!!

I have four young children, so I have a few (well, more then a few) that stick out

"Mama, I pointed my penis down. Isn't my penis nice? Sometimes it gets big!" (that's from my three year old son)

"Eww, your blood looks gross mama."

"Are you pooping mama? It really smells like you are." Then I try say "Shush" and he yells "What? I didn't hear you, are you pooping mama? I can smell it."

"I really like your jiggely stomach mama" This is from my oldest dd


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## neverdoingitagain (Mar 30, 2005)

This is from my DH.
He took our two girls to get a toy. I had just had a discussion with my oldest(6) about how boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. I mean, she knew before but it didn't click in until after her hair was cut very short and was being mistaken as a boy. I digress.

In middle of busy store
DD(6) to Dh " Daddy, do you know how you can tell I'm a girl?"
dh,clueless and preoccupied "no honey, how?"

I think you know where this is going.
dd(6) loudly "Girls have vaginas and boys have penises"
cue snickering lady down the aisle.
Better him than me I say









ETA: OH! How I missed the restrooms part of the title, I will never know.








I've just had the usual "Mommy, you're stinky" stuff


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

We had a big family party at a nice restaurant, and I voluteered to take my nieces (8 and 5) to the restroom. One had to go, so I asked the little one if she needed to come too. She said yes, and off the three of us went.

We went in, there were two stalls, and both were occupied. One woman came out almost imediately, and the older one went in. I needed to go, too... When the second woman came out, I tried to send the 5-year-old in, and asked her if she needed help (since she was all dressed up in tights, etc). She said no and just stood there, watching the woman adjust her clothes and wash her hands. I said, "Go on. It's your turn." She said, "Oh, I don't have to pee, I just came in here to fart around." The woman's head jerked up so fast I thought she'd get whiplash. And then the shock wore off and we both started laughing hysterically. Fathers just don't get the full impact of how their daughters learn...


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## Oliver'sMom (Jul 17, 2007)

When ds was about 2 we were in the (very crowded) restroom doing our thing. Ds yelled loudly "Are you pooping Mama?! Good job Mama! You pooped in the potty!! Woah...that's a BIG poop Mama!

I tried to stay in the stall until most everyone had left


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## kate42 (Feb 2, 2003)

My BFF took our kids out to lunch when they were about 3 yo. Her DS kept getting "vagina" confused with "diarrhea."

So, they were in the stall next to us and about four people were in line waiting. From their stall you could hear him say, "Mom, I see your diarrhea!" BFF shushed him.

Then..."I have a penis because I'm a boy. You have a diarrhea because you're not a boy."

More shushing and giggles from the line-waiters.

"You have a diarrhea, Grandma Nikki has a diarrhea, Aunt Kerry has a diarrhea, Mommy Kate has a diarrhea."

At this point, no one could hide their laughter. I'm still in the next stall, cracking up. My DD asks why he keeps talking about poop. My BFF wonders aloud if she could possibly disappear quickly.

Hysterical.


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## DeerMother (Apr 22, 2008)

I have 2 yr old twins and we go in the big stall where they enjoy flushing the toilet about 25 times while I pee.

Recently, dd has asked,
-is there an elephant in here? ( woman farting loudly in stall next to us)
- is my poop pretty? (uh, no. It's important to poop but I wouldn't call it pretty)
- I wear mama cloth and dd wanted to know all about it.

They both remind me to wipe myself.


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## ellemenope (Jul 11, 2009)

Wow, very timely.

Today--

*"Mommy, what is that come out of your butt?... Oh, that is just red poop. Why do you have red poop again, mama?"*
-DD's loud squeaky 24 month old voice

I love the idea to teach them propper names. DD will so be talking about tampons and menstrual blood tomorrow.


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

My sons are older now and we don't really have those moments anymore but when Ds#1 was about 2, I was pregnant with ds #2, and I went in to give urine for one reason or another, my DS looked at it in the plastic cup and said " Is that your beer mommy?"
* cue random snickering from the waiting room* ( he said it as I was taking it to a little window like a bank teller)

LOL

(I didnt drink beer while pregnant, so he must have been thinking of his dad and uncle! LOL!)


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## earthworm (May 15, 2010)

Oh wow, these have me laughing so hard!!
My son has definitely asked why there is red stuff coming out of my butt (despite many discussions of the appropriate terms!) and has also mentioned my "diaper" which was just my pad. Nothing too embarrassing.
I have overheard so many of those kinds of conversations in public (I have to pee a lot







) that I just knew it was going to happen at some point but I didn't actually feel that prepared!


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

DS once said "That's a big poop Mommy! Good job!"


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## Tulpen88 (Nov 12, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mountaingirl79* 
My sons are older now and we don't really have those moments anymore but when Ds#1 was about 2, I was pregnant with ds #2, and I went in to give urine for one reason or another, my DS looked at it in the plastic cup and said " Is that your beer mommy?"
* cue random snickering from the waiting room* ( he said it as I was taking it to a little window like a bank teller)

LOL

(I didnt drink beer while pregnant, so he must have been thinking of his dad and uncle! LOL!)

For some reason, this one really gave me the giggles.







Thanks, I needed that!

My son is only 2, so all I get so far is "Yay mommy!" and applause, and "Ew, yucky. Ew, stinky." I have so much to look forward to...


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## artemis80 (Sep 8, 2006)

When ds was about 2.5, in the Y locker room, we took off our swimsuits to get in the shower, and he was standing facing me, just at the right level to make a big discovery. He grabbed my thighs and pulled on them, going "Where's your penis, Mommy? I want to see your penis!! I want to see your penis!!!" There were about 5-6 middle-aged or older women around. I didn't look at any of them as I said, "I don't have a penis because I'm a woman. I have a vagina." He goes, "You have a buh-GUY-ja? Can I see it? You a women! You have a buh-guy-ja!"









Oh, and now (4 yo) he always comments on his own poop, including in public restrooms. He'll say something like "That was really hard, but I tried hard and I did it! That was an elephant poop! Look at my elephant poop, Mommy!" We had everyone cracking up in a rest area bathroom on our road trip a couple weeks ago.


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## Hokulele (Mar 2, 2005)

O.M.G. Thank you for this thread! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!


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## ASusan (Jun 6, 2006)

DS, commenting on his own BM, "That a big poop, Mommy. It's a Daddy poop."

and, inhaling, "Mmmm, 'mell good mommy. Poopy 'mell good mommy?" (in reference to his own BM.)


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## COgirl19 (Dec 26, 2009)

This wasn't in a public restroom but we had company over at the time (my landlord no less) so it may have well have been.

DD (3) announces to our company that she really needs to poop. Proceeds to strip naked, marches into the bathroom and poops....loudly grunting and vocalizing through it all, with my landlord hearing everything loud and clear.

In public bathrooms I have also gotten - Good job Mommy! - there is no such thing as shame when your a mother I suppose!


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I was at Target the other day and the little girl (was about 4) in the stall next to me said "Why do you wear earrings under your panties Mama?". I tried to muffle it, but a little snicker came out.


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## WindyCityMom (Aug 17, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama* 
I was at Target the other day and the little girl (was about 4) in the stall next to me said "Why do you wear earrings under your panties Mama?". I tried to muffle it, but a little snicker came out.











DD and I haven't had many bathroom experiences yet so I'm afraid I have nothing to share here


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## Mom2M (Sep 23, 2006)

OMG, these are so funny! I'm laughing so hard!
One time after much groaning and dramatic pushing...wow, look Mama, I got both pieces out. The second piece was the hardest, I think it pushed the first one out.

Going into a stall in a very crowded bathroom after a lady came out..."oh no! We can't go in here, it stinks, **gagging sound*** let me out!"


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## Purplegal (Jul 30, 2008)

These are so funny!!!

My 3 y/o DD asked me very loudly once "Do you have poop or pee mommy? If you have poop I can tell you a story since you dont have books, ok mommy?"


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## Chicky2 (May 29, 2002)

*****Choking and crying and gasping for air***** OMG this is so hilarious!


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## elsa_elsa (Nov 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Purplegal* 














These are so funny!!!

My 3 y/o DD asked me very loudly once "Do you have poop or pee mommy? If you have poop I can tell you a story since you dont have books, ok mommy?"

















too cute!


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## nmb (May 15, 2006)

When DS was ~2.5 and potty training:
"Point it down Mommy"
"Now wipe Mommy"
"Now flush Mommy"
"Have to wash hands Mommy"
"Now dry hands Momm"


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama* 
I was at Target the other day and the little girl (was about 4) in the stall next to me said "Why do you wear earrings under your panties Mama?". I tried to muffle it, but a little snicker came out.

LOL! What was the answer??


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## stinkelein (Jul 2, 2010)

Not in a bathroom but funny at least to me.

Both of my children were (are) verbally precocious and willing to share new words. Both have shouted new words in very public places. They both know and use the proper terms at home and with family but in general public we now use the terms Girl/ boy parts. For just this reason....

DD standing in the middle of the mall " penis penis PENIS " and then "Vagina Vagina VAGINA" aT 12 months. the little old ladies (about a dozen different ones about passed out when they heard it. My sis and I about died Laughing at the looks on their faces.(it was cute,and alittle embarassing)

Ds About 18 mos at the Zoo doing exactly the same thing(to a different tune ) FIL was there, thank God he could not understand him.... everyone else could though ROF LMAO

Recently he started asking me LOUDLY "Mommy why did you POOP in your Diaper" "Poop goes in the potty!" 2 weeks post partum It is a mom pad thank you very much (Why I can't get him to understand this is probably related to his age huh?)


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## MLinPDX (Jun 22, 2006)

Mom, why do you have so much fur on your bottom?


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## aprons_and_acorns (Sep 28, 2004)

Gosh these are funny!

Said to my friend Millie by her almost three-year-old neice:

"Why Millie, you have a beard just like my mother!"


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## SuburbanHippie (Aug 29, 2008)

"Mommy, you have a lot of hair on your butt. That's gross."


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