# My son, his doll, and rude comments.



## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

Ugh. I went to my friends little boy's birthday party on the weekend, and my son took his baby with him . He's got this baby that he just loves and takes with him everywhere. Now, I am the type that would stick with blue for boys, pink for girls, and that kind of thing, but really I dont think any of that actually matters. I think if my son likes pink and wants to wear it, well who really cares, you know? if he wants a baby, who cares? men have babies too, its not even something that I would ever consider "gender specific" by any stretch. Anyhow, I went to this party, and my friend immediately was like "um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."







Now, not that it makes any difference to me whether he's ends up being gay or not, I could care less about that, but just the fact that people actually think that a little boy carrying a baby is "weird" or will "make him gay" is just totally crazy to me. I just can't believe that people still think that way, and even that people say "he's gonna be gay" as if that would be such a horrible thing. Anyhow, just a rant, it annoys me.


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## buttercup784ever (Aug 22, 2008)

Man, that was rude to say on so many levels. I probably would have just said, "maybe so" and left it at that. My son is 7 and likes to play with babies too. He was the only boy at the American Girl store with his own dolls, and he was pretty upset that they didn't have matching boy outfits for him.


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## zoe196 (Mar 20, 2007)

same thing with my son getting "girly" stuff in the pass the parcel a a children's party and being happy with it. Other boy's reactions to getting the pink, sparkly stuff ranged from disappointment, tears and sulking right the way through to outrage and temper tantrums--- I was really shocked at how strong the gender conditioning is from such a young age









My son also got people questioning and making sarcastic comments about his pink bracelet. They went over his head as he's three years old but it did make me wonder how I could help him handle it when he is older if the need should arise.

I agree with the pp about the comments being incredibly rude, it scares me that people think comments like that are acceptable.









Zoe, mama to Thomas 1/06


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

Well, you could just ignore them. Or you could make a few witty comments that will make them think. For the doll thing, personally I like, "Huh...I was under the impression that most little boys grew up to be fathers and loving children wasn't something only women could do. Maybe I've been lucky to only have been exposed to GOOD fathers."

About the whole "gay" thing...that really ticks me off. It's just an ignorant opinion that gay is a choice and a lifestyle that can be altered by experience. You can't "turn" a child gay, any more than you can turn a gay person straight. Complete ridiculousness.

But for the "gay" comments (we get that a lot), I just let people know that I wouldn't be at all disappointed if my son were gay so if they meant that as a warning, they are wasting their breath. My best response to "he's gonna be gay" is "Really!? You think? Wow, it'll be like having a little built in shopping partner!" Once they realize you think gay is a GOOD thing, they shut up.









(and of course, I realize that is a stereotype but for homophobes I don't think a little excitement over stereotypes is a bad thing....it shows them that you don't think any perceived "gay" traits are bad)


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## SarahElizabeth (Mar 26, 2009)

It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!

For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!
Me: Yes, he is.
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!

.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

At thanksgiving my DH's cousin's son who is about 18 months has a little doll with a blanket attached very common. This one is rather feminine but the LO calls it his guy and is so cute running around going GUY GUY GUY looking for his guy...I'm sure someone would think that is weird but it just plain cute. He also took a serious liking to DD's pink satin edged blankie and so now his mom is off trying to find the exact same one, we would have given it to her but DD loves it too!


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## dakotablue (Jun 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
"um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."









Because straight men don't like babies? Wow Dh and I have to have a LONG talk...


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## Litcrit (Feb 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dakotablue* 
Because straight men don't like babies? Wow Dh and I have to have a LONG talk...









Exactly! I'll have to persuade my very virile DH to finally come out of the closet!

So, only gay men have an interest in babies and then presumably grow up to be good fathers? If that were a fact it would be a sad one for us married women.


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## seaheroine (Dec 24, 2004)

How irritating.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

well i think its an honour that your friend made those comments. i am sure she believes in the gay philosophy and said it out of concern for you and your boy.

but it is shocking isnt it when you meet someone who really believes in that. esp. a friend.

for me its usually the chance to share my own philosophy. it might make them think and reconsider.

i have seen fathers struggle to see their son in pink. not because of gay but because pink is feminine. that's when i make the comment wish more men wore pink. it looks really sexy on some of them.

thru a playgroup i heard of a father who would take out the pink and purple crayon from his son's art supplies.

i think if we look back through time werent there wooden dolls made for boys too? maybe they were soldiers.


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## Cherry_Blossom (Nov 7, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
I just can't believe that people still think that way, and even that people say "he's gonna be gay" as if that would be such a horrible thing. Anyhow, just a rant, it annoys me.

Some people just don't 'filter' their thoughts before speaking.









My boys have dolls. My now-exH threw one away when I bought it for my son. So I kicked him out and bought a new doll.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I've heard that so many times. Especially since my son has long hair and loves his toenails painted.

People are stupid. If they honestly think a little boy playing with a baby will make him gay, then I wouldn't be listening to them anyways.


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

I don't have any boys but if you think about it, wouldn't like 90% of the male population be gay if all it took was playing with a doll, wearing a pink shirt or necklace or bracelet, or even coloring with purple or pink crayons to make them gay? It is so stupid and such a double standard that it's good for girls to be tomboyish but wrong for a boy to like "girl" stuff. It's all a bunch of bs imo. Kids like what they like, and nothing turns you gay.

Edited to add: I guess my youngest dd is gay now because she likes to play with cars and trains, and her favorite color is green and she loves frogs. Combine that with her Peppermint Patty voice and by god, she's gay!


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## GoestoShow (Jul 15, 2009)

.


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## NightOwlwithowlet (Jun 13, 2009)

My son didn't have a doll, but he had a baby. He wrapped it in blankets, gave it a bottle, nursed it, and pushed it around in a pink and blue toy shopping cart. He even carried it in a sling. It was a 14 inch tall hard plastic T-rex toy, but it was his baby.

Now, he's seven and he LOVES real babies. He's a very nurturing and loving kid.
He spent the weekend holding his new baby cousin on his lap. When he was younger, I dealt with the comments when he played with his cousin's babies, or dressed up in her clothes, by saying, "He's very secure in his masculinity. He doesn't need to conform to stereotypes." I said with a laugh, but it shut most people down, especially if you can manage to imply that they aren't too secure if they need to question the sexuality of a three year old.


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## boheime (Oct 25, 2005)

I probably would have made some comment about children mimicing adult snad learning through play. Then I would have commented that I was so glad my grandchildren were going to have a good daddy.

For the record, all of my children (2 boys and a girl so far) have dolls that I made them. When my 7 year old was younger, if you had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would have said "a daddy." My almost 2 1/2 year old son frequently wears one of his babies around (along with an apron and sword....cause it's important to be prepared when taking care of babies







).


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahElizabeth* 
It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!

For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!
Me: Yes, he is.
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!

.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.











I love it! I have both a girl and a boy, and have no issues whatsoever with my kids playing with whatever toys they want to. DS just does not show much interest in baby dolls like DD does, but he does sometimes play My Little Ponies with her. His ponies are usually crashing into hers or knocking hers over rather than lining up for school or having a birthday party like hers, but hey, they play together! DS has OT or PT every week, and sometimes we see some little boys there (brothers) who have their baby dolls they bring everywhere; the mom said one of them used to be her doll. I just think that is so sweet! I say let kids be kids and play with what they want as long as they are having fun and not hurting others (which is why I limit stick and sword play).


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Both of my "older" boys, now 12 and 10, had baby dolls and little toy strollers as toddlers/preschoolers. They wanted them because they were mimicking their daddy, who pushes strollers and carries babies just as often as their mommy does.

When my current youngest son was born, my eldest would pick him up and carry him around if we had put the baby down while awake.... he was 8 or 9 at the time. Even at 12, he still enjoys babies, but otherwise is all boy.


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
Ugh. I went to my friends little boy's birthday party on the weekend, and my son took his baby with him . He's got this baby that he just loves and takes with him everywhere. Now, I am the type that would stick with blue for boys, pink for girls, and that kind of thing, but really I dont think any of that actually matters. I think if my son likes pink and wants to wear it, well who really cares, you know? if he wants a baby, who cares? men have babies too, its not even something that I would ever consider "gender specific" by any stretch. Anyhow, I went to this party, and my friend immediately was like "um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."







Now, not that it makes any difference to me whether he's ends up being gay or not, I could care less about that, but just the fact that people actually think that a little boy carrying a baby is "weird" or will "make him gay" is just totally crazy to me. I just can't believe that people still think that way, and even that people say "he's gonna be gay" as if that would be such a horrible thing. Anyhow, just a rant, it annoys me.

I totally agree with you that it shows the rude commenter's a) homophobia and b) sexism, but I have to admit my response would be (even though it feeds a little into the homophobia) I would say "Um, you might wanna check your own manhood because if a boy with a baby threatens your manhood, it's not as strong as you think it is!"









If you won't say that, how bout"We need more boys who love babies in the world and see caring for them as their responsibility too! How can that be a bad thing with all the deadbeat dads around?"


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## Carma (Feb 10, 2006)

My son also likes babydolls and walking around with a little toystroller and he nurses the baby too. However he has a older sister, so everyone assumes he just want to copy her. I am a female engineer and are a bit sensitive to the gender division for interests. So I try to be as neutral as possible, for example my son does wear pink if he wants to. And my daughter has boy-underwear because she wanted Diego on her underwear instead of Dora. But it is quite hard to stay neutral, my kids are now only 2 and 4, so I fear it might only get harder.

Carma


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Surely it is easier to get a baby if you're straight?

People are idiots. I had one very dear but very rigid in his "role" beliefs dad tell me that i couldn't get his son a pushchair toy for christmas because it was a girls toy and would make him girly - he said this while he himself was pushing his baby girl through a park in her pushchair!!! Needless to say i got the pushchair anyway, and their son adores it.


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## JennTheMomma (Jun 19, 2008)

That is such a rude thing to say. My son is 2 years old and has a few dolls. He loves them.


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## luv-my-boys (Dec 8, 2008)

That is the stupidest thing ever. I have a house full of boys and guess what we have numerous "babies", a PINK stroller, a baby sling and other "gay" items in our house.

Now let me tell you my DH is very "manly" thats just how he is so when we first encounterd the whole I want a baby issue with our first I really did think DH would say heck no. You know what he didnt want them _not_ to not have one. He really thought it was special that they wanted to be a "daddy" like him, how he saw them being loving with them made him feel that he was being a good dad because in effect they were mimicing him. Something he wanted to show his children, regardless of their sex, that men love their children and care for them. How that is "gay" I have no idea. I actually think its quite attractive to see a man caring for a child, but maybe thats the sleep deprived mother in me









Now on to my other rant...why dont manuf. make items for boys as well? The only strollers I could find our pink which dosent bother me but one of my DS would LOVE a blue stroller (fav. color)without flowers (not his thing) or heck even more boy babies. Boy babie clothes are hard to find and even fewer baby boy dolls as well.


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## LandonsMom (Jul 22, 2005)

response: "or he might turn out to be a really great father"..... men are parents too, sheesh!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bandgeek* 
Well, you could just ignore them. Or you could make a few witty comments that will make them think. For the doll thing, personally I like, "Huh...I was under the impression that most little boys grew up to be fathers and loving children wasn't something only women could do. Maybe I've been lucky to only have been exposed to GOOD fathers."

Even though I find that a little snarky, I love it. I hate the whole "girl" toy and "boy" toy thing, anyway - the fact that baby dolls are considered a girl toy annoys me beyond anything. Nurturing the young is _not_ a gender specific act, in any way, shape or form...nor should it be!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahElizabeth* 
It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!

For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!
Me: Yes, he is.
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!

.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.

You didn't have to be there. Wow. If I didn't love dh so much, I'd be wondering if your brother was single. Good for him.


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## calebsmommy25 (Aug 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahElizabeth* 
It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!

For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!
Me: Yes, he is.
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!

.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.











I'm sorry you had some rude comments. It does amaze me how narrow minded some can still be. My son is 19 months and loves babies. He is a rough houser, but also a nurturer. He loves to stick his stuffed animals in his shirt and 'wear' them around the house, like I used to do with him and I do with a little baby I care for. I need to help him make a sling, I know he would really love it. It is so cute when he takes care of his animals. I really want to get him a doll for Christmas because I know he would love it, but everyone (including dp) is against it and doesn't think he 'needs' one, more like 'shouldn't' have one.


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## Encinalien (Mar 27, 2007)

Grandma sent over an old doll of mine for ds. When dh saw our son playing with a baby doll he said, "oh look! He's ready for a little brother or sister."


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## tjlucca (Jun 16, 2008)

My DD has a pixie haircut, she made the decision to do so because she HATES having her hair brushed. She is pretty and has very obvious feminine features, yet people (strangers and acquaintances) still feel the need to tell me I am "making her look like a boy".With sweeping bangs and barrettes in her hair, really? People seem to have their own weird insecurities that flair up with anything "unusual" coming into their awareness. I have always gotten strange comments about baby wearing too. The collective subconscious has issues.....


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Unbelievable!

"No, probably not, but I think he's going to be an amazing father. Oh wait, aren't you a father? Huh...." then walk away whistling...


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I usually say "Well, that's an odd question"... then add in confused look, and wander away.

When we were in Saint Louis several years ago, my daughter had a black cabbage patch doll. It was some kind of a knock off doll, because if you squeezed it's arm, it spoke spanish, and had purple eyes. It was her favorite doll at that time.

While we were at the VP fair, a woman walked up to us and pointed at the doll and said something I didn't understand at first. She had a VERY southern accent, and I didn't catch it right away. But, everybody else around me did, and my Mom said "Well isn't that a rude question?" So, she asked ME again (in heavy accent) "Why she gots that ****** doll?" I never did say anything because it didn't register right away. But, I wish I'd been more on the ball and had a witty answer. I think I just stood there looking dumb.


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
Anyhow, I went to this party, and my friend immediately was like "um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."









Me: Well, then, you must be gay b/c you have a baby, too.

If he said anything else after that, I would tell him that it was incredibly rude to make a comment like that about my son and his toy.


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## Ambystoma (Mar 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hey Mama!* 
Edited to add: I guess my youngest dd is gay now because she likes to play with cars and trains, and her favorite color is green and she loves frogs. Combine that with her Peppermint Patty voice and by god, she's gay!

Your youngest DD and I must be kindred spirits. I could've written that same thing about me as a child...or now









Quote:


Originally Posted by *luv-my-boys* 
That is the stupidest thing ever. I have a house full of boys and guess what we have numerous "babies", a PINK stroller, a baby sling and other "gay" items in our house.

Now let me tell you my DH is very "manly" thats just how he is so when we first encounterd the whole I want a baby issue with our first I really did think DH would say heck no. You know what he didnt want them _not_ to not have one. He really thought it was special that they wanted to be a "daddy" like him, how he saw them being loving with them made him feel that he was being a good dad because in effect they were mimicing him. Something he wanted to show his children, regardless of their sex, that men love their children and care for them. How that is "gay" I have no idea. I actually think its quite attractive to see a man caring for a child, but maybe thats the sleep deprived mother in me









Now on to my other rant...why dont manuf. make items for boys as well? The only strollers I could find our pink which dosent bother me but one of my DS would LOVE a blue stroller (fav. color)without flowers (not his thing) or heck even more boy babies. Boy babie clothes are hard to find and even fewer baby boy dolls as well.

Your DH sounds like a keeper!







My hubby says the same thing. Although, he did have a cherished baby doll as a child (I've seen that thing-at it is worn out!) and I assure you he is not gay-just nurturing. My brother had a baby, too-despite my homophobic dad. Playing with a doll just must not have hit the radar as something effeminate to men in my area.

And you're right about more boy-friendly home style toys. Why are most of the play kitchens/houses/appliances in friggen pink? I hated that as a child-and I resent the sexist implications. Would it kill them to make the toys in realistic or bright, bold colors instead of pastel pink? I had one boy baby as a kid and it was my favorite. My gram bought it in some specialty doll store because I lamented the fact that I had a little brother and no baby boy dolls existed.


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## Harmony08 (Feb 4, 2009)

UGH!!!!!!! That is super irritating and icky.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

My response to anyone suggesting that any part of my parenting will "turn my kid gay" is "Yeah, I know! That's what we're hoping for!" People look very confused.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

As if one's sexuality is just a big game of red rover.... any little thing might get them change sides?

My son had a lovey doll. He adored the thing. I had to buy two of them... just to smuggle one into the washer sometimes. People need to get a life. There's so much more that needs doing than speculating on playthings and possible outcomes.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ambystoma* 
And you're right about more boy-friendly home style toys. Why are most of the play kitchens/houses/appliances in friggen pink? I hated that as a child-and I resent the sexist implications. Would it kill them to make the toys in realistic or bright, bold colors instead of pastel pink? I had one boy baby as a kid and it was my favorite. My gram bought it in some specialty doll store because I lamented the fact that I had a little brother and no baby boy dolls existed.

what, you mean your kitchen in your house isn't barbie-land pink? I'm shocked!







I agree though... makes me crazy that it's hard to get boy baby dolls... DS wanted a doll and I went to target and the only one that came *close* to being boy-ish was the bath-time baby, and that was only because it had just a white diaper with a duck on it and a yellow ducky towel







the rest were dripping in pink







Which is fine, but not when your kid looks at it and says "no, BOY baby!" *sigh* My in-laws keep trying to gear my son toward tools and tractors... which annoys the heck out of me. He's a fan of vacuum cleaners and stand mixers as well as weed whackers, etc! SHOCKING, I KNOW!







He likes to claim he *is* stuff lately, and he was telling my MIL that he was a "yellow mixer" and my mother in law just sort of shrugged, but when later he claimed to be a weed-whacker, MIL gave him all sorts of attention. I was more than a little annoyed. I mean... Emeril *never* uses a mixer, right? Clearly it's a woman's thing...









ETA... oh, and the quip about the penis falling off? BRILLIANT


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## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ambystoma* 
Your youngest DD and I must be kindred spirits. I could've written that same thing about me as a child...or now









Your DH sounds like a keeper!







My hubby says the same thing. Although, he did have a cherished baby doll as a child (I've seen that thing-at it is worn out!) and I assure you he is not gay-just nurturing. My brother had a baby, too-despite my homophobic dad. Playing with a doll just must not have hit the radar as something effeminate to men in my area.

And you're right about more boy-friendly home style toys. Why are most of the play kitchens/houses/appliances in friggen pink? I hated that as a child-and I resent the sexist implications. Would it kill them to make the toys in realistic or bright, bold colors instead of pastel pink? I had one boy baby as a kid and it was my favorite. My gram bought it in some specialty doll store because I lamented the fact that I had a little brother and no baby boy dolls existed.

I have a blue/grey/red wooden kitchen for my girls, and we also have a blue and yellow plaid baby stroller. Shop at places geared toward school furniture, you will find more gender neutral toys available.


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

Well, I'm afraid I don't suffer fools gladly and have been known to lack diplomacy at times. I think I would say something like "you're an idiot".


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## Equuskia (Dec 16, 2006)

And you know what "male action figures" are? _Dolls_


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## musikat (Oct 30, 2002)

I am a lesbian and I LOVED dolls as a child. The frillier the better. I still have the doll collection my mom started for me. So what does that make me -- confused??









I also have three sons (no girls). My oldest two both had baby dolls (when I was pregnant with the next), and the two year old has inherited them now. Guess what he wants Santa to bring him for Christmas more than anything? A baby doll! Everytime we are in the store he wants to hold all the dolls and give them the bottle or pacifier that come with them and talks so sweetly to them.

Then he turns around the next minute, climbs on the furniture, plays with trucks and roughhouses with his big brothers! My oldest went through a serious fairy/Tinkerbell phase at age 3-4. Now he is all boy, although sometimes we wonder.... He _does_ have amazing fashion sense.









So now I am on the hunt for a gender neutral baby doll for my youngest. Not only are they all pink, but many, if not most of them have something about "little mommy" printed on the box they come in! I did find online some gorgeous ones from Corolle -- one I would absolutely love in primary colored striped clothing. But I can't see spending the $60 on it. The search continues....

Oh, and to the poster who had the "shopping buddy" comeback -- I LOVE it! Too funny.


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## ians_mommy (Apr 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SarahElizabeth* 
It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!

For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!
Me: Yes, he is.
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!

.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.









your brother rocks!


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

LMAO...

When my oldest was 2, we offered to buy him a new toy if he gave up his pacifier. We went to the store, and he picked out what he wanted...a baby doll that he named Cosmo. He loved that baby so, so much and never asked for his paci again.

Cosmo is now in retirement, as ds is 9.5 now and doesn't play with him anymore but I still think of that time fondly.

We never got any bad comments, even when he pushed him around in a pink stroller...lol. Good thing too, I would have some choice words for any critics...since when does baby doll equal gay? So weird....


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## thatgirliknew (Dec 1, 2009)

My son has a doll and I get that from his Da and his Da's friends ALL the time. Which it's like you said, I have no problem with my son being gay, but if he's going to be gay, it's not because he played with dolls when he was little.

My son started playing with his doll when he found out I was going to have a baby and I explained to my husband it would be good practice for being a big brother, but he still doesn't like the idea of my son and dolls.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

I hope the ladies of the world who think boys should not play with dolls are not put out when the fathers of their kids don't help out with childcare r housework.


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## alaskaberry (Dec 29, 2006)

I used to babysit a little boy who did ballet and had a Barbie that he loved. Looking back, it's astonishing to remember how even waaaay older boys--even teens!--would look down on him for it, make nasty comments about how he was going to turn out gay, etc.









My eldest son(3 y/o) likes to paint his toenails pink (like mama's!) and loves Dora. When DP starts acting all "oh noes it's pink again" I just say something to the tune of "a color never made anyone gay". That said, sorry I don't have better advice.


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## noobmom (Jan 19, 2008)

Wow, I'm really surprised at the "It's going to make him gay" comment. I have to say that I would probably avoid hanging out with such a homophobic family.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zoe196* 
same thing with my son getting "girly" stuff in the pass the parcel a a children's party and being happy with it. Other boy's reactions to getting the pink, sparkly stuff ranged from disappointment, tears and sulking right the way through to outrage and temper tantrums--- I was really shocked at how strong the gender conditioning is from such a young age









I honestly do not believe that is gender conditioning. I think many boys just prefer trucks, and planes, and such to pretty sparkling things. My son has a glow worm and a stuff cat.. he prefers to sleep with tranformers.


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## BrittneyMarie (Nov 11, 2009)

that is awful! like one of the previous posters said, id probably avoid this family and any other that was rude about my childs toy preference. i remember being upset as a kid because i wasnt allowed to have hot wheels or action figures because they were 'boys toys'. i had 1 ken doll and at least 30 barbies. *puke*


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## Aquafina (Oct 2, 2006)

Both my boys like girl stuff & boy stuff. My little one likes to carry my handbags.They love lip gloss,& dolls.

They still enjoy playing cars,bikes,dirt,and superheros.

My older Ds just found a long skinny cardboard box & is pretending he is a knight.This is the same kid that had me make a doll house for his superheros.






























I loved playing with toy cars in the dirt when I was little.I am now as ladylike as you can get.

I have had comments made about the stuff they like







.

People are really rude with comments about being gay and stuff







.I think boys playing with dolls is healthy & will make for more kind men when older.


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## dido1 (Aug 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EarthRootsStarSoul* 
Some people just don't 'filter' their thoughts before speaking.









My boys have dolls. My now-exH threw one away when I bought it for my son. So I kicked him out and bought a new doll.









I think I'm in love...you rock!

My DS really likes to paint his nails. Last summer he had blue nail polish on and I could not believe the ridiculous and hurtful things people said to him. I tried to teach it into teaching moment.


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## InMediasRes (May 18, 2009)

Dh has a very progressive aunt who does lots and lots of thrift store shopping looking for the perfect gift. When DD was born, the entire gift was duck themed - duck books, clothes, toys, wrapping paper, it was really cute. Anywho, her "big brother" present for DS was a little baby doll wearing an old fashioned white dress and a book titled "William's doll", which is a story about a little boy who wants a baby doll more than anything in the world, but his brother makes fun of him for it and his dad buys him a ball and a train instead. It is strait out of the 70s. It's a great thought, but I eventually removed it because I didn't want DS thinking there was anything wrong with dolls to begin with, even though the message of the book is that boys can learn to nurture and have dolls too.

I don't see the difference between DS nursing and rocking and singing to his dinosaurs or cars than doing it to a baby doll.

And we get that gay comment from my dad all the time when DS wants to wear my bracelets or carry my purse or wear my high heels (none of which I use anymore, so I'm glad they're getting some use).

I tend to be very blunt, so I probably would have just said, "That was a very inappropriate comment."


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Wow, I so want to ask your friend's dh if he's gay. He's a father, after all, and he claims that men with babies are gay. And he clearly feels it's bad to be gay, which is probably why he's been hiding it for so long. Maybe he should get therapy?


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *musikat* 
I am a lesbian and I LOVED dolls as a child. The frillier the better. I still have the doll collection my mom started for me. So what does that make me -- confused??









Well, I'm not a lesbian and I never cared for dolls as a kid. So I guess dolls just make people gay whether they're boys or girls?


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## ~Katie~ (Mar 18, 2007)

People's ignorance is so infuriating to me. The whole boys have to wear all blue and girls must wear all pink. Certain toys are only designated for one gender or the other. Boys must have short hair. The whole thing is an outrage to me. My DS has a baby doll too, by the way, and I think it's an important tool in learning how to be nurturing. He also plays with trains, cars, etc. My MIL had the nerve to make a comment about a little boy she knew who loved Barbies and I flat out told her "So what, it's just a damn toy." Colors, toys, etc. do not _make_ people anything.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

My little brother's comfort item was a Corolle doll with vinyl head, forearms, and lower legs and a cloth body. He carried it everywhere for so long that my mom had to make new bodies for it 4 or 5 times. He slept with it until he was about 10.

People thought it was weird and said he'd be gay. My mom would reply that "that's the goal!" and they would laugh uncomfortably. Mom's plan didn't work out and my brother is now a big, bearded manly man who decidedly loves women.

I want to get DS a doll and I think he should have one. If anyone says anything about it I will either point out the logical fallacy of the statement or ignore them completely. I tend to think that people's stupidity doesn't deserve a whole lot of my time or effort.








to you, OP. You're a good mama.


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## K-Mom3 (Apr 27, 2009)

This is an awesome book. Get it at the library some time.









William's Doll by Charlotte Zolotow

Here's a line to try if you don't particularly want to be offensive back: Why does he have a doll? He's practicing being a daddy.


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## writteninkursive (Feb 22, 2009)

OP, if it makes you feel any better...

My 3-month-old son just discovered the first toy he's really interested in, and it's a girl baby doll with pink flowery clothes on and a pink flowery hat, holding a pink star that lights up and plays lullabies when you squeeze her hand. He is so delighted by it and laughs and smiles and coos at her. I love it. I hope my son grows up to be sensitive and interested in babies, gay _or_ straight!


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

my 5 year old has a baby he loves loves loves. when he was 3 and found out he wouldn't be able to actually make milk for his real life babies, he was mad! lol

as for boy dolls... are you looking for baby baby dolls, or just boy dolls. my three youngest have "little friends" by nova toys. they are perfect size for little kids to carry around, fit great in a sling and they have boys and girls and they are fairly cheap. those dolls hold up well to lots of little boy play and love.









h


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## KaylaBeanie (Jan 27, 2009)

My uncle was the youngest child with two slightly older sisters. He spent the first several years of his life with longer hair, dressing up in dresses, playing with baby dolls, etc. He's been married for 25 years and has 9 children, so I guess my grandma managed to not properly gay-ify him.

I HATE gender stereotypes, something I inherited from both of my grandmas. My cousin had a girl back in October, and my grandma sent me shopping for the baby shower with the explicit instructions for NO PINK! Impossible! After hours of searching, I managed to find three cute non-pink outfits. I later told my SIL (a very traditional, mainstream mom) that when I had babies someday, I was not going to dress my daughters in pink, save for maybe one or two outfits. My two favorite colors are purple and green. She said "Oh, but you'll want people to know your baby is a girl!" Uh...why? I know my baby is a girl. Does it even matter? I think when we're talking infants and young toddlers, gender doesn't mean anything. On the same note, I won't have those obnoxious "little man, tough guy, etc" type shirts for any sons. My poor sons will be hippies with long hair, baby dolls and purple clothes...it's all part of the master gay plan, right?


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

That makes no sense. Don't straight men have babies more often than gay men? I mean, they are more likely to breed, after all.


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## urchin_grey (Sep 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
On the same note, I won't have those obnoxious "little man, tough guy, etc" type shirts for any sons. My poor sons will be hippies with long hair, baby dolls and purple clothes...it's all part of the master gay plan, right?

You just described _my_ son.


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

Yep had those comments as well....sadly from family and strangers. I love the comment about his penis is going to fall off- to perfect!

My littlest kiddo is 2 1/2 almost 3 and he's got 2 older sisters and a brother...well the littlest- Jacen loves to be "pretty" and that includes MAKEUP (you can't say that word here or he has to have some lol) hair accessories, and for a long time he had long hair and loved to have it played with, finger nail polish, dress up and heels. He says HE is the prettiest girl in all the movies, lol, and will carry babies, stuffed animals and optimus prime (transformes) around in his sling and stop to nurse them all. He is also crazy- jumping, running, eating bugs/boogers/dirt- before I can stop him, and he loves all the "boy" toys as well.

I've wondered if he may be gay, but I doubt it. His dad says "Well, if he keeps it up with the makeup and hair he will make a killing! You know how many girls would LOVE to have a STRAIGHT and CUTE hair/makeup guy????" lol and if he's gay- he will always be Jacen. I will love him no matter what.

I too wish there were more boy dolls, toy strollers/prams, boy barbies (although there are boy TWILIGHT dolls in the barbie section....does that count??? yuck.) and just more boy colors for crying out loud! I am so sick of the cutzie pink goo goo gaa gaa baby dolls- yuck. Sigh, if only the toy manufactures would listen


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

My son (almost 7) loves dolls. We've gotten many negative comments.

I have sometimes say (in response): "If a man carries around a baby and is nurturing to that baby, does that mean the man is gay?" Or I'll leave out the gay comment and add "...is that a bad thing?"


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## LovnMyBoys (Jan 21, 2008)

We get those comments all the time. Both of my boys have dolls and baby slings to carry them in which of course yields comments. They asked for a dollhouse for Christmas last year, which was critiqued by many a family member. My oldest has decided to try a dance class this year and yes we get way more comments about that then his choices to try swimming, soccer, others "sports". My youngest has never had a hair cut and has beautiful long wavy hair. EVERYBODY tells us we need to get his hair cut (including the specialist at his last appt....ummm does that affect his health?), but the best part is that he now holds his head and says "no hairtut for me" anytime he hears someone say it. They love dressing up as princesses when given the chance with girl friends (hey what kid wouldn't love the sparkles), and both my boys can rock any jewellry, pink itmes, or painted toenails.
Seriously what kind of mother would I be teaching my children that their life choices needed to be based on the fact that they were born with penises, and not what interests them.


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## mamaofthree (Jun 5, 2002)

the whole pink is for girls is nuts. if you do dress up a girl all in pink, people will still ask if she is a boy if she is bald! lol (my dd back when she was a baby)

h


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