# Night terrors- advice needed



## augustgirl69 (Apr 2, 2005)

My son (3.5) has night terrors 3-5X a week. This all began 6 weeks ago. It is exhausting, he is exhausted and so am I. Is there a way to help us out of this pattern? Or is it just something we have to endure til he grows out of it? ANY thoughts would be helpful- I am scared to go to sleep now because I might not hear him or maybe I hope I don't.........


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## funkymamajoy (May 25, 2008)

When my sister was suffering from night terrors, the pedi recommended giving her a protein and potassium rich snack right before bed (yogurt, cheese or bananas). It worked for her and for my DS.

Good luck. I know how terrible they are for both parent and child.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *augustgirl69* 
My son (3.5) has night terrors 3-5X a week. This all began 6 weeks ago. It is exhausting, he is exhausted and so am I. Is there a way to help us out of this pattern? Or is it just something we have to endure til he grows out of it? ANY thoughts would be helpful- I am scared to go to sleep now because I might not hear him or maybe I hope I don't.........


usually, you have to just let it ride out. It is so heart breaking to watch him go through this, but there is really no other way. Drugs can be prescribed in very extreme circumstances, but it is not typical.

Hohannes is three years of age, and he has had night terrors since he was about one and a half. He has not outgrown them as of yet. Here were some things that were sggested to me and they have worked somewhat.

1. Take note of what time of night these night terrors occur. When a pattern is established, you can wake him ten or fifteen minutes before it occurs. This helps by off setting things so the night terror won't occur at all. When you awake him, you guys could read a book, have a snack or a nice drink.
2. When he has a night terror, allow him to go through it and do not wake him. When he is done, comfort him and then let him go back to sleep.

This is what I can suggest for now, but i hope it does help. Stay strong and hang in there. I'm rooting for you!


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## momtokea (Oct 27, 2005)

I don't know much about night terrors, so don't know if I can be much help. But my dd had some night terrors for a few nights back when she was 3. She had an ear infection and to help with the pain I gave her children's Advil at night. She had night terrors ALL NIGHT LONG. On about the third night I finally connected the two and realized the advil could be causing it. I didn't give her any, threw the advil out, and she's never had another night terror again. Turns out night terrors are a possible side effect of Advil!!!

I just thought I'd share this with you, in case there is anything new he is coming in contact with, eating, or anything in his environment that could be causing it.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

I don't know if I can be of any help, but thought I'd post and try anyway. I had night terrors when I was about 22 - 25 (so, yes, as an adult). Nothing would snap me out of it except turning on the light. Unfortunately I was frequently paralyzed from the terror, so turning on the light wasn't as easy as it sounded. I taught my DH that this is what I needed, and he made sure to just get that light on as fast as possible when he realized I was having a night terror (before, he would focus on talking to me - which had no effect, and actually made me angry and frustrated).

I don't think turning on the light is the key for everyone, but I do wonder if there is some sort of key for each person. Maybe the light, maybe a touch, maybe certain words. I DID read that telling a person they are just dreaming doesn't work, though (hence I would just panic when my DH tried that - because I was EXPERIENCING this and him telling me I was NOT just made me unable to cope).

I hope the terrors subside very soon. They are very scary. Fortunately my terror would subside completely within minutes of the light being on (I'd actually snap out of it instantly, but it might take another minute for me to really kind of get over it totally) and I could go back to sleep without any lingering fear.


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## ~Mom2thhts~ (May 18, 2006)

When my #2 was 18 months old we just moved and I was pregnant with my
3rd. The week we moved she woke every night at midnight and screamed for an hour. It was so scary and she would not let us touch her. She would finally exhaust herself back to sleep. This pretty much continued for the next 4 years, but became every few months or so. At one point we literally thought she may be possessed. It was just so scary and the doctor didnt really have much advice for it, just told us what may have triggered it. She is 9 now and over the years the night terrors have gotten less and less. She doesnt really have night terrrors now, but she does sleep walk and she has no recollection in the mornings. None of our other dc have suffered from night terrors.

I wish that back then I had looked into it a bit more. We didnt have internet back then and I didnt have any "crunchy" friends. Im really interested in what everyone else has to say on your thread. Im really sorry, I wish I had more info that could help you.


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

My DD recuperates fastest when we react VERY little. We go in, tuck her back in, kiss her, and walk back out. This sounds so heartless, I'm sure, but for her, we just make the whole thing much worse when we interact. The above results in a "waking" of maybe 3 minutes. When we do more, like hold her, rock her, try to really wake her, offer her food or drink, take her to the bathroom, move her to our bed, etc., it can go on for an hour or more. So for us, this seems the greatest kindness.

Maybe, though, it's like a previous poster mentioned, and this is just what works for my DD. My friend's DS NEEDS alot more interaction to help him when he has night terrors.

FWIW, I always talked in my sleep, still do. Ped. said this type of half wakefulness seems to run in families, and night terrors and sleep walking behaviors often go together.


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## beebalmmama (Jul 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_mojo* 
My DD recuperates fastest when we react VERY little. We go in, tuck her back in, kiss her, and walk back out. This sounds so heartless, I'm sure, but for her, we just make the whole thing much worse when we interact. The above results in a "waking" of maybe 3 minutes. When we do more, like hold her, rock her, try to really wake her, offer her food or drink, take her to the bathroom, move her to our bed, etc., it can go on for an hour or more. So for us, this seems the greatest kindness.

Maybe, though, it's like a previous poster mentioned, and this is just what works for my DD. My friend's DS NEEDS alot more interaction to help him when he has night terrors.

FWIW, I always talked in my sleep, still do. Ped. said this type of half wakefulness seems to run in families, and night terrors and sleep walking behaviors often go together.

This is what we've found to work for our ds too. He tends to get much more upset if we try to soothe or wake him. We've also been giving him Hylands Calm and that seems to have lessened them a bit. We're all getting a little more sleep this week.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *augustgirl69* 
My son (3.5) has night terrors 3-5X a week. This all began 6 weeks ago. It is exhausting, he is exhausted and so am I. Is there a way to help us out of this pattern? Or is it just something we have to endure til he grows out of it? ANY thoughts would be helpful- I am scared to go to sleep now because I might not hear him or maybe I hope I don't.........

Hugs. Night terrors are hard. I've had them my whole life along with other sleep issues - talking, sleep walking, etc. My poor parents.

My daughter (4) has just started to develop what seems to be night terrors as well, just in the last couple of weeks.

I recommend sleeping with a monitor on - I find that if I can respond immediately to her waking, I can usually help her more quickly through it (and with more success in NOT waking her brother - they share a room)... I let her know I'm there, help her to lie back down, or just be there while she's upset, then she settles back down & sleeps again.

You can try different sleeping arrangments for the time being too - maybe he'd rather sleep on your floor than in his bed, for example.

FWIW:
I have found for myself, that getting ENOUGH sleep in general is important. Also, exercising regularly. And reminding myself at night, before I go to sleep, exactly where I am, and what I'm doing (i.e. you can tell your son to remind himself that he's in his bed, in his house, with his mom right down the hall, the nightlight in the bathroom, the picture on the wall, etc.), and tell myself what I will do if I wake suddenly... this is particularly important during times when I'm sleeping in a new place, or my routine has changed in any way.
My husband has learned over time if I am in bed before him, to "announce himself" before coming into the room... that the noise of him walking or opening the door often triggered a terror for me... but that if he started talking on his way down the hall, that sometimes worked. I second the poster who suggested gently waking him before the night terror usually happens (if his bedtime routine is regular, you'll prbably find his night terrors happen at a predictable time too.).


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## rabbitmum (Jan 25, 2007)

I wonder if this is what my little one is experiencing. He frequently "wakes up" (but doesn't seem to be awake) at half past twelve, and screams "I don't want it" or "I want it" or "I don't want to". Sometimes it helps when I go along with it and say "That's ok, you don't have to" etc., sometimes talking seems to make it worse.







It's impossible to wake him up properly.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

It helped for us to wake our DD up just enough to break the deep REM sleep a bit before the terrors happened. If you notice a pattrern like your DC wakes up screaming around 2am then maybe around 1 am try waking em just a bit and see if that doesn't help. We also found reducing dairy helped.

Deanna


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

:


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

Try some Rescue Remedy or other Bach flower remedies for fear and terror: rock rose and mimulus. The RR has rock rose.

Also, consider classical homeopathy.

Pat


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WuWei* 
Try some Rescue Remedy or other Bach flower remedies for fear and terror: rock rose and mimulus. The RR has rock rose.

Also, consider classical homeopathy.

Pat

When would you recommend taking this - before bed?


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rabbitmum* 
I wonder if this is what my little one is experiencing. He frequently "wakes up" (but doesn't seem to be awake) at half past twelve, and screams "I don't want it" or "I want it" or "I don't want to". Sometimes it helps when I go along with it and say "That's ok, you don't have to" etc., sometimes talking seems to make it worse.







It's impossible to wake him up properly.

There's a step below night terrors called confusional arousals. It's when they don't sit bolt upright and start screaming straight away.

I find the same thing as you - when she's tossing and turning and saying "I don't want to" or "give it back" it does seem to help when I say she can have it or doesn't have to do it or whatever. She'll toss and turn and cry a bit for half an hour or so then instead of screaming for two hours.


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## rabbitmum (Jan 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe* 
There's a step below night terrors called confusional arousals. It's when they don't sit bolt upright and start screaming straight away.

I find the same thing as you - when she's tossing and turning and saying "I don't want to" or "give it back" it does seem to help when I say she can have it or doesn't have to do it or whatever. She'll toss and turn and cry a bit for half an hour or so then instead of screaming for two hours.

Yes, that's how it is - he doesn't sit up and scream straight away. But it has happened that his crying has suddenly itensified into loud, wild shrieks, which is rather upsetting.







Usually he goes back to sleep after half an hour after some comforting and me lying down with him.

I don't know if he understands what a dream is yet - I have sometimes asked him if he dreamt something, or tried to tell him it's only a dream, and he doesn't seem to understand what I'm saying. But of course, maybe he's too much asleep to enter into any kind of thought.
Sometimes we have tried taking him out of the room and sit with him in the sofa to get him away from his dream, but that only seems to make it worse.









I wonder what it is that he's dreaming to make him so upset. Sometimes I'm worried that he has experienced something awful during the day.









My eldest had the same type of nightly awakenings for a period of maybe a year or two when she was about six, though - and I talked to her a lot about it, asked her what she had dreamt etc. - but she always woke up completely happy and didn't remember a thing. I never understood what caused it.


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
I don't know if I can be of any help, but thought I'd post and try anyway. I had night terrors when I was about 22 - 25 (so, yes, as an adult). Nothing would snap me out of it except turning on the light. Unfortunately I was frequently paralyzed from the terror, so turning on the light wasn't as easy as it sounded. I taught my DH that this is what I needed, and he made sure to just get that light on as fast as possible when he realized I was having a night terror (before, he would focus on talking to me - which had no effect, and actually made me angry and frustrated).

I don't think turning on the light is the key for everyone, but I do wonder if there is some sort of key for each person. Maybe the light, maybe a touch, maybe certain words. I DID read that telling a person they are just dreaming doesn't work, though (hence I would just panic when my DH tried that - because I was EXPERIENCING this and him telling me I was NOT just made me unable to cope).

I hope the terrors subside very soon. They are very scary. Fortunately my terror would subside completely within minutes of the light being on (I'd actually snap out of it instantly, but it might take another minute for me to really kind of get over it totally) and I could go back to sleep without any lingering fear.

Just so you know night terrors in adults can be a symptom of something deeper, if it hapens again you may want to get checked out by a dr or psychologists.

OP- is your child under stress? did something new happen?
I agree with waking your child up ahead of time if you can. And the bedtime snack, but nothing fatty or spicy, that can make it worse.
My psychology teacher says the kids have no idea they are screaming and go back to sleep right after and they don't remember the incident in the morning, however, I can distinctly remember a few episodes from when I was a child.


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
When would you recommend taking this - before bed?

Only if/when the child is upset.

Classical homeopathy heals deeper emotional issues, however. It is professionally proscribed and taken only a few times a year, generally.

Pat


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BunnySlippers* 
Just so you know night terrors in adults can be a symptom of something deeper, if it hapens again you may want to get checked out by a dr or psychologists.
.

Rally?
Do you have references for this? From what I understand, night terrors can be hereitary. My father, and one of my sisters experience them. They don't have to be indicative of "something deeper"... just very active minds.

As a child when my parents were confused about nightmares I saw a couple different phyches, had CAT scans, etc. Nothing wrong. It can be normal.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *WuWei* 
Only if/when the child is upset.

Classical homeopathy heals deeper emotional issues, however. It is professionally proscribed and taken only a few times a year, generally.

Pat

Giving someone experiencing a night terror something to eat/drink isn't really an option many times. They have to be able to come "back to reality" on their own, and often times will just fall back to sleep.


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Giving someone experiencing a night terror something to eat/drink isn't really an option many times. They have to be able to come "back to reality" on their own, and often times will just fall back to sleep.

There is Rescue Remedy cream, for topical application. Also, RR spray for topical application.

Pat


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Rally?
Do you have references for this? From what I understand, night terrors can be hereitary. My father, and one of my sisters experience them. They don't have to be indicative of "something deeper"... just very active minds.

As a child when my parents were confused about nightmares I saw a couple different phyches, had CAT scans, etc. Nothing wrong. It can be normal.

Yes really. Night terrors are comon in children, not so much adults. I learned that in psychology class.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BunnySlippers* 
Just so you know night terrors in adults can be a symptom of something deeper, if it hapens again you may want to get checked out by a dr or psychologists.

Thanks. I'm pretty sure mine were not the result of anything deeper.

I haven't researched them much, but people reading this thread might be interested in knowing that seeing spiders is apparently the most common night terror. I just know that because - you guessed it, that was my experience. I'll share my experience in more detail just in case someone might benefit from it somehow.

My terrors would come early in the night, not long after I fell asleep. I would see my bed and my room (i.e. not some dream location) - which is actually a bit strange because I'm legally blind and even if the moon is out I would not be able to see my hand in front of my face with the light off. But anyway, I would "see" the room pretty accurately. And there would be a spider on me (usually on the covers over my belly, or on the bed right next to my face). Sometimes several. During my first terrors, the spiders were very distorted (bright pink and large and oddly shaped). Over time they looked more like "true" spiders. If DH tried to tell me there were no spiders, I would feel very angry and frustrated, because I was looking right at them! Turning on the light would make them go away. I would feel maybe a little silly but otherwise be ready to go back to sleep just fine.

I am afraid of spiders normally but I don't think I'm truly phobic. I don't worry about spiders at all (I don't shake out shoes before I put them on, or check the bathtub before I get in, etc. - I just go about my life, and if I see a spider, I'll go "ew" that's all). So I don't think seeing spiders in night terrors is necessarily related to a true fear. So not all (dunno if even most) night terrors are reflective of any real trauma, etc.

Anyway, hope that helps.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

My oldest starting having night terrors when she was about 18 months old. They'd last anywhere from 20 minutes to well over 1.5 hrs! My dh and I felt horrible that we couldn't calm and comfort our dd during this time and we finally discussed it with our pediatrician. He said our dd was too young to have night terrors, that they didn't start till 3 or 4, if at all, and dd was just trying to "train" us to pick her up whenever she wanted, to get her way, etc. You know the spiel.
DH and I would get so frustrated that we couldn't calm our dd and nothing would work, she wouldn't communicate during this time, etc. I would try to hold, soothe, gently sing to her, nothing would make it better, it seemed to aggravate her even more. She would have these spells anywhere from 3 to 5 times a week. The screaming was so intense we video taped them just in case the neighbors called the cops or CPS (because that's what I would have done if I'd heard those screams weekly). DD looked wide awake during these terrors, would reach out for people and things, would even speak at times. Sometimes dh would leave the house and walk around the block, to get a break, and you could hear the screams 3 houses away!
We felt so bad. We tried journaling to establish a pattern. We found no pattern based on food intake, activity, illness, time of bed/sleep, allergies, etc. We couldn't figure it out. Our dd was horrified, there was physically nothing wrong with her, our presence did nothing to help her (I remember her being so annoyed by my presence during one spell that she reared back and kicked my pregnant belly as hard as she could), and our pedi said no way this was night terrors.

Fast forward a bit, after the new baby came, and we had to take our dd to a psychologist (other issues, but still...). We mentioned these episodes, how our pedi said it wasn't night terrors, but how we were sure dd lack of good sleep effected her mood (it certainly effected ours).
Psychologist said it WAS night terrors, that children in toddler-hood can and do get night terrors, and gave us advice to stop it. She was very honest in admitted they (counselors) do not always know why exactly it does work, but to give it a try.

Her suggestions:

1- don't put socks or footed pj's on child at bedtime (we had been)
2- do not tuck in sheets or blankets at foot of bed (we had been) - nothing that might "trap" child's feet or make them feel their feet were bounded or warm.
3-Gently wake up child approximately 2 - 3 hours after we put her to bed, to gently "disturb" that time right before REM sleep.
4- Only have very dim night light in room (vs full lamp or complete darkness)
5-(The hardest) DO NOT touch child, speak to child, disturb child in any way once the night terror has started. This goes against every parental instinct when you see your child in complete panic/terror mode. Only check on child during terror and ensure child's safety (move child safely to floor is child is trying to climb out of bed, remove any furniture away from bed if it's near, etc).
6- Do not ask child about night terror the next day. If it's a night_mare_/bad dream , they remember and they'll talk about it. If they experience a true terror, they have no recollection of it and asking a child over and over about it might make them feel self-conscious or that things out of their control happen at night, thus making them worry about bedtime. Apparently night terrors effect people the same way as sleep walking (sleep walker can hold conversations and sometimes drive cars w/o ever knowing what's happening)
7- If night terror last more than 30 minutes or become dangerous for child, take child and place standing in a tub of very cold water (we tried this once and it did NOT work for our dd, it made it escalate).
8 - Psychologist said not to worry about terrors, that kids having them are trying to resolve something and that the majority of the time they outgrow them and they generally don't last longer than 2 or so years (easier said than done, not to worry).

So...the week we were told this, we stopped the footed pj's and tucking in the blanket and we saw immediate results. The n.t.'s dropped in frequency and amount of time (maybe 2 - 3 times a week and now only 15 minutes as opposed to 1 hour). We wouldn't hold her or try to wake her during n.t. but then started to semi-wake her about 2 hours into her sleep (maybe just change per position in the bed or offer her water, etc). That seemed to help a bit too.
I'd say about one month after getting the advice my dd's n.t. dropped to about once a week. After a few months she'd only have them once or twice a month and stopped all together within 8 - 9 months. It was amazing!

It's still so awful to see your child going through the n.t. but my child never remembered any of it at the time or now.
I don't know if it's hereditary or not (I've read yes and no). The only other person in my family that's had any issue like this is my nephew (he's prone to sleep walking and sleep "conversations" while appearing awake).

I don't know if any of this will help your situation or not but I thought I'd share. Good luck to you and your child!


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
Thanks. I'm pretty sure mine were not the result of anything deeper.

I haven't researched them much, but people reading this thread might be interested in knowing that seeing spiders is apparently the most common night terror.
...
So I don't think seeing spiders in night terrors is necessarily related to a true fear. So not all (dunno if even most) night terrors are reflective of any real trauma, etc.


Yeah that. Spiders, insects, bugs, etc. is the most common (and interestingly, I've had this one with many of my night terrors as well - its usually ants or spiders, yet in real life I am not afraid of bugs).

In light of the misinformation being put out there on this thread, I'll direct everyone to this very helpful site:

http://www.nightterrors.org/mot.htm

From this site: "Episodic night terrors DO NOT signify psychological problems."

It's frightening enough as a parent trying to help their child through a very NORMAL (for some children) part of childhood without the suggestion that night terrors mean there's some kind of hidden problem, deeper emotional issues, or need of psycological treatment.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

Night terrors in adults are hereditary and I totally don't believe that they're the result of some sort of "deeper issue," so thanks for that link KS_mama. So, anyway, don't think I'm a total flake here, but I went to a shaman at the age of 29 with the aim of getting rid of the night terrors. It's been 7 years and I haven't had one since.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
It's frightening enough as a parent trying to help their child through a very NORMAL (for some children) part of childhood without the suggestion that night terrors mean there's some kind of hidden problem, deeper emotional issues, or need of psycological treatment.

To be fair, BunnySlippers was saying that ADULT night terrors can be a sign of deeper issues.

I really don't know if even that's true or not, but just wanted to point out that nobody suggested childhood night terrors could be related to other issues. Although it was very good that you underlined that point in case somebody might have just been skimming.

But yeah I agree, parents can (probably) relax about this part. I've not come across any evidence that terrors are trauma based, or even if they affect the person negatively except for when they are actually having them.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
To be fair, BunnySlippers was saying that ADULT night terrors can be a sign of deeper issues.

I really don't know if even that's true or not, but just wanted to point out that nobody suggested childhood night terrors could be related to other issues. Although it was very good that you underlined that point in case somebody might have just been skimming.

But yeah I agree, parents can (probably) relax about this part. I've not come across any evidence that terrors are trauma based, or even if they affect the person negatively except for when they are actually having them.

Thank you for clarifying; you're right & I didn't mean to step on any toes. Wu Wei had also suggested classical homeopathy for healing deeper emotional issues.

I just felt it was important to emphasize that night terrors aren't necessarily the result of or indicative of psychological problems, emotional issues, or trauma.


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