# Crowning and scared



## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

Been looking through the posts and havent found one similiar to this and was wanting to know from other moms here what it was like when the baby was actually being pushed through the vagina through the crowning stage? This is one of my worst fears of the birth process. I'm 27 and this will be my first birth. I'm going to be attempting a homebirth. I've asked the midwife this same question and she says all births are different and reassures that everything will be fine. My close friend who birth about a year ago said that the whole birthing process was uncomfortable but that pushing the baby out is what really hurt the most. It just really worries me about something that big coming out of something that small. Hope this wasnt a dumb question. Thanks in advance!


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## hopefulfaith (Mar 28, 2005)

Hugs, mama! It's totally not a dumb question.

Take comfort in the fact that for many of us, crowning was such a *quick* time - it hurts, but it was over so quickly and this is the part where you get to meet your baby when it's done!

And as for the "something big coming out of something small" part -- remind yourself over and over, starting right now, that _this is exactly what your body was designed to do!_ Your body was made to do this. You will become as big as you need to be to help that baby out!

I was scared of the actual birth process before my son was born last summer - and when you're committed to a natural birth, that's a hard hurdle to overcome.







One of the things that helped me was to read positive birth stories over and over and over and over. I read "Spiritual Midwifery" four times during my pregnancy, primarily for the affirmation that birth was such a positive experience, millions of women do it (hey, we're all here, right?), and I was going to get through it, too.

Blessings, mama!


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

You know, I remember that it hurt, but I don't remember much beyond that, except that even once she crowned, it took longer to get her out than I'd thought it would. (Watched too much TV, I guess.







) You'll be in "laborland" by then, probably, and not really noticing everything that's going on; at least that was the case for me. I was operating on pure instinct by then.


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## MamaRabbit (May 26, 2005)

During the crowning stage, I just reminded myself, "the baby's almost here!"

It's not actually a big head coming out of a little space either. During pregnancy, your tissues become more stretchy, and once the head comes down to the perineum, the skin stretches like it's supposed to, becoming a big space. Make sense? Yeah it hurts, but a few deep breaths and then it's done.


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## Megs_BK (Jul 26, 2006)

I can only reaffirm what's already been written here. It does hurt. Oh yeah. But by then you know that the light at the end of the tunnel is comin' right for you and you just keep going and then it's over.

I second the hugs, too!


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

I can't say that I remember feeling the actual pain of crowing. The overwhelming memory is of PRESSURE! There was just intense pressure. It's been like that for all my births.


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## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

I think a lot of women have that momentary fear -- I know I did -- that pushing was going to hurt, and they didn't want to do it. I was afraid of more pain. My MW was really encouraging though, and it helped when she said, "The only way to get out of the pain is to push through it," and "It will hurt for just a minute, but then your baby will be here and it will be over with."

I would also recommend a pregnancy hypnosis class or homestudy course. (Like Hypnobirth or Hypnobabies) They do fear release sessions, and the positive affirmations really help you let go of the fear prior to labor.


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## Artisan (Aug 24, 2002)

Here is another secret: for a lot of women, pushing feels like you have to poop reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally badly. (Sorry to be crass, but it's the truth. It feels like a bowling ball.) A lot of those same nerve endings are firing. If you have an unmedicated, undirected birth where no one is telling you what to do, pushing will NOT be a choice -- you body will do the work for you.


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## Faerieshadow (Mar 31, 2005)

Just thought I'd add my experience... the crowning part didn't really hurt me - the pushing stage was so awesome, it was like all my labor pain went away! I had a slight burning sensation when I tore slightly (ds came really fast) but that was the only pain I felt during that time.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I was terrified of crowning, but found that it didn't hurt at all. Everything was stretched so wide that it felt kind of numb, and seeing my baby's head coming thru my vagina was so surreal, that she crowned, she was born, and that was it.

I was really freaked about it while I was pg tho.


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## amyjeans (Jul 27, 2004)

have you ever heard of the "burning ring of fire"?
that's what occurs at the crowning stage. Your skin stretches (and normally does NOT tear- if the birth is not rushed by anything or anyone). the stretch burns briefly, then numbs so that the birth completes itself.
This of course is a theory- and a good majority of unhindered births occur this way.
I read once the best way to replicate the sensation is to open your mouth as wide as you can, then cup your hands over your cheeks with your fingers inside your mouth and s t r e t c h. You will feel the burn around the rim of your lips and mouth. The sensation subsides eventually because the nerve endings will deaden briefly.
Now think of this- your vaginal opening is very similar to your mouth- very stretchy, elastic, and NO BONES! It will form to whatever comes out.

I am always thankful for this sensation- it means my hard work is over, now I can relax and let the baby come out- it's the end of labor!


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## Guest* (Aug 5, 2004)

I was surprised that crowning did not hurt as badly as I'd built it up to be. It hurts, yes, but it was not the most terrible pain. I barely took notice of it. Plus, as others mentioned, when you feel the stretching, you get an adrenalin rush because you know your baby is RIGHT THERE. Just a few more seconds/minutes and you're done! That alone gave me the energy to transcend the pain and continue on (not that I had a choice to stop at that point, but I hope you know what I mean.)


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

For me, crowning was the "OMG its almost over HELL YEAH!" point of my labor. I looked down and could see the baby's head and it gave me such a huge rush and I immediately felt renewed, as I was getting pretty tired. The sensation ( provided you are not medicated, you will feel this ) of the baby actually moving through the birth canal is amazing. I had a little lip of cervix that was being stubborn, and I kept pushing and pushing but I knew I wasn't getting anywhere. finally the lip gave way and I could feel the baby move down. It was VERY obvious what was happening- you will know for sure when it happens to you. Now I will say that before things really started moving along, I was a little scared. But once I could see my baby that fear just evaporated.


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## sophiamama (May 29, 2005)

I was scared of pushing too, but when I got to that point, I had to push so bad, it actually felt good! My body REALLY wanted to push, it was an overwhelming urge, so being able to give in was a relief. I do remember a LOT of pressure, but not as much pain once I started pushing.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

I do remember some pain, well no I don't but I remember saying to the cnm "this hurts!" kind of indignantly between pushes. But I was basically feeling down there keeping track of the progress and it was really cool. It felt like it took a while though it was only 20 minutes. Mostly though, it was just awesome, I was actually touching my baby, he was almost out! Also the pushing style contractions and the new state of mind were such a relief after transition. And yeah it does kinda feel like having a huge poop. I think crowning was my favorite part of the whole thing really.


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## boscopup (Jul 15, 2005)

I remember the "ring of fire" burning pretty bad, BUT... I was no longer feeling contractions! I was in a hospital (preterm) and was doing directed pushing (which you DON'T want to do). The first push, I was a little scared to push. I did these itty bitty brief pushes, and then the nurse said "No, just do one long push", so I did, and it was very effective and once I actually got the nerve to give that push, it felt alot better.







The second push, I wasn't feeling an urge to push at that moment - this is where directed pushing sucks and caused me to tear with a <4 lb baby.







My body was not given time to stretch appropriately. But on that push, his head came out. The 3rd push was not a big deal - the body came out pretty quickly and easily once the head was out.

Honestly, while that ring of fire was probably the most painful part of labor for me, it also was one of the easier ones to get through, because my baby was RIGHT THERE and I was about to meet him!!!







I think the hardest part to get through was transition contractions, but thankfully, I remembered that when I felt like I couldn't do it anymore, it was almost over, and sure enough...







During pushing, I never felt like I couldn't do it... and that says alot.

Since you're having a homebirth, I know you will do GREAT. Pushing is the best part of the birth! And if you're listening to your body, I think you'll have a good experience. YOU CAN DO IT.


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## Lact-o-Mama (Jan 27, 2006)

I had 3 totally natural births and remember vividly that during labor, having to deal with rushes was MUCH harder than the momentary "ring of fire" during crowning.
I agree with Amyjeans and think that her suggestion is possibly the closest duplicate of the actual feeling during crowning.
Keep in mind that during your labour you'll be feeling intense adrenaline rushes that help you to cope with the pain. Your fears are very common, *know* that YOU CAN do this








Also, if I can reccommend something wonderful, read "Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth".....especially her chapter on SPHINCTER LAW, its friggin fantastic







and could definately save you from having a slow/failure to progress type of labour ( hoping that your mw wouldn't actually diagnose it that way )

Have Fun & Enjoy Mamma, look forward to the totally awesome post-birth high, its better than any street drug out there !!







:


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## forthebest (Jun 19, 2006)

With my 3rd dc the crowning moment became very surreal as I entered a really calm and euphoric state it was really wierd think I was just more controlled(not in a bad way)about the whole birthing bit, I really did feel like it was very spiritual at the crowning stage, I was doing uc and my then partner actually panicked because I was just squatting there with a very calm attitude.Huh?He probably felt intimidated as he was not 'needed' to interfere.I did not feel the urge to push and I reckon if left to my own choices totally I would not have actually pushed at that stage and just let my baby birth himself. Just a thought on peristalsis that I never got to realise completely. I felt I wanted it to continue for a bit longer but he was wanting to see a baby coming out or summit? I'd loved to have had another dc,totally on my own as I felt I was getting better with the whole process and am far too easily influenced by other's idiocy/fear/impatience/control issues/greed/presence. There is a lot of pressure on our bits woah it can feel pretty frightening all right but I think like pp's have said without the interference,forced pushing etc our bodies cope and boy does it make us stronger.My first dd was in hosp despite my protests and just a complete travesty of pain and misery and forced pushing and 'you're not doing it right' and stitches and drugs....


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## mary3mama (Apr 2, 2004)

With my most recent birth -- a VBAC -- the crowning didn't really hurt. I did feel the ring of fire, but it wasn't painful...hard to explain. I felt it and it didn't feel normal, but it wasn't a sense of pain, just one of stretching and burning. But with that 'fire' came a surge of energy and passion and strength. Once I felt that burn, he was born within about 2 minutes.

I'd recommend that you try not to focus on that specific point of delivery...since it is so different for each birth. It is just the culmination of a process.


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## Mybabymommy (Mar 12, 2006)

Just try to remember that it will stretch exactly as much as you need.

For me, as the baby passed over my Gspot I got such a rush of energy and almost relife that the crowning didn't really hurt. I did feel a burning sensation for a second but that passed very quickly.

Have a happy birth!


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## tinyshoes (Mar 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christygen*
...It just really worries me about something that big coming out of something that small...

Just to reiterate what others have said: it's not that small.

In Ina May Gaskin's guide to childbirth book, she contrasts vaginas with penises. Penises change in size during their day-to-day operations, right? No one starts worrying about it growing big, or will it shrink down, etc, etc....that's what penises do.

Vaginas grow big during birth, and they shrink down again later. They are dynamic.

YES....if your vagina stayed the same size as it is right now today, the day you're not in labor birthing, that WOULD be a small "hole" to push a newborn out of. But it will grow and stretch....that's good!

You'll do great.

It's important to think about all this stuff while pregnant, and to go ahead and ask the questions, voice your concerns, and put those fears to rest, so you can fully enjoy and participate in your birth, without nagging worries or doubts about your body's abilities. This culture is NOT a pro-woman, pro-birth culture....pregnancy is a time to undo some of that brainwashing, y'know?

Happy Birthing!!!


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## heidi_m (May 5, 2006)

Just a little tidbit about my own experience... I did not feel ANY pain at all during descent, crowning, birth, etc. NONE. Labor hurt like hell and during transition I was sure I was IN hell, but during pushing and birth I literally could not feel anything at all "down there."

My birth was totally unmedicated, so no it was not from an epidural!









I've speculated it was from adrenaline, but I really don't know. As the birth of #3 approaches (my first was c/s) I am surely hoping for a similar experience!


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

I didn't notice the crowning and wouldn't have known if the doctor hadn't told me. I did feel like pooing though, maybe that was it?









What I did feel was when they cut me







:


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyshoes*
Just to reiterate what others have said: it's not that small.


people do sexual practises that stretch the vagina as much as a baby's head for pleasure, it is NOT that small!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Also remember, it's not a solid 13cm diameter circle going through your normal cervix, it's a compressible 13cm diameter circle going through a stretchy 10cm diameter circle. I've done some sketching with compasses and the relative sizes are quite reassuring.


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## Seie (Jun 9, 2005)

As you can read from all the previous answers it is very different what women feel at this stage. But personally in my case - it felt exactly how I had imagined it would. It hurt like the devil - it hurt so bad that I considered not pushing to avoid it. But the good thing about crowning is that it is the LAST bit. Once you have done it then all the pain is GONE!
What really helped me during crowning was to be rational. Once your baby is crowning there is really no way that you can regret - no way to not do it. At this time you HAVE to go through with it - so you just have to tell yourself that being scared at this point is utterly useless. The only thing that will help you at this point is to remember what you have read - try to relax your body and especially the pelvic muscles, to pant shortly while the head is crowning to allow the skin to stretch. This may hurt - but believe me it wont hurt as much as pushing hard and fast to get it overwith and then tearing from front to behind.

However- my best advice about crowning is - dont give it too much thought at this point. It really is only a few moments - and compared to hours and hours of labor it really isn't worth too much worrying.

Also remember that pain is only a part of what labor and birth is. It is SO much more - it is potentially an amazing experience that will stay with you always. The best you can do to make sure you will get a good birthexperience is to try to stay positive as much as you can.

Good luck.


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## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

For me the pitocin contractions were much more painful than the baby actually coming out. I had an epidural, but they turned it off when I was ready to push. And I pushed for so long that the epidural was completely worn off by the time DS crowned. I felt no ring of fire. TMI, but all it felt like was pushing out a hard BM. The contractions that racked my whole body were way worse.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

With #1 I had a longer pushing stage. I felt the urge to push -- and it really was this awesome, unstoppable urge. Others have used the term "like throwing up, only downwards," and it was. But once those contractions started, nothing hurt. I didn't really feel pressure, either, or the descent. Just these huge waves of the URGE. Never felt the ring of fire, either.

In fact -- I always hesitate to tell people this, but I found it more pleasureable than anything else. As baby descended and put pressure on the whole perineal area, the only sensation I remember was a sort of "thrumming" feeling -- almost like orgasm aftershocks, but more difuse.

Baby #2, however, I almost did not have to push out. I felt a little weird, I think the term midwives use is "grunty?" in the tub, but nothing like the waves of MUST PUSH NOW that I had with #1. And then suddenly my water broke and she crowned *instantly*. THAT time I felt that ring of fire! But it didn't last long, as others have said. I think the first time descent was so slow that I benefitted from endorphins and pressure numbing the area for crowning, but the second time, it all happened too fast for that. And for me, I've had worse burning pain from hemmeroids (though in a different area) or diarreah (again, different area).


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

Ok, lets try this again. I've tried to post a reply 3 times and the power keeps going out. Thanks a bunch for all the replies! Didnt know who to turn to ask this kind of question. I've worried myself sick about the birth, especially as the baby is coming out. I'm just going to trust my body and go with the flow. Guess like one person said here its something I shouldnt worry about right now. Gonna run before the power goes out again. A bunch of hugs here to all of you for answering my question and reassuring me! Thanks!


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

I've never given birth vaginally either and this was also a fear of mine. Hanging around here learning ways to prevent tears, repeating my "crowning mantra" from a post someone made here ("babies are squishy, vaginas are stretchy, there is no problem here!" lol) and going back to view the link below are getting me past this fear - I'm way more comfortable with the idea now.

http://www.shaunamama.citymaker.com/...irthstory.html


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Pushing didn't hurt for me, and I didn't get teh ring of fire either.


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

It hurt for me, but it's only pain. My mom said that to me when I expressed a similar worry to her a few weeks before the big day. And when that day came, it was just like she said. It was only pain. Pain can be handled, and now it's long gone, and I have a beautiful baby that I would do it all over again TEN times for.


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## illinoismommy (Apr 14, 2006)

Oh man.... I'm scared of this too.


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## 2+twins (Apr 20, 2004)

It was different with each baby for me. I remember with #1 that I felt that "ring of fire" and was like, "Hallelujah! It's almost over!" It honestly didn't bother me. Second time around it did hurt a lot. I think it was largely positional (both of my position and the baby's position). Didn't last but a few seconds though and then she was out. Third time around (4 months ago) I don't even recall a ring of fire or any other pain during crowing. Same goes for 4th time (twin birth). I think it's b/c those babies shot out of my vagina like cannonballs so there wasn't really any noticeable moments of stretching. Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. Like someone else said, it's only pain. And it's so brief and such a good moment really, b/c you know that it's the last few seconds before you finally meet your baby.


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## erin_brycesmom (Nov 5, 2005)

I haven't read the other posts but for me crowning was not at all bad. I remember thinking "so this is the ring of fire, cool". It burned just a tad, but nothing bad at all...it was such a cool feeling because I knew that meant he was coming out and it wouldn't be long. It was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For me, pushing was not the most painful part at all, it felt really good to push. I won't say it was painless but it wasn't pain that really got to me, it was almost a good pain if that makes any sense! You can do it mama!!!! When you crown, you know you are about to meet your little one


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

there is no answer for that unfortunately. i had my only natural c/b this Jan. and that was the scariest part for me too. the GOOD part of that point, though, is that its almost over. others may disagree with me, but i had a long labor (more than 30 hours) and was exhausted. i made a mistake of trying to "hurry" that stage though and caused myself to tear. it wasnt that bad though (the tear). my baby, btw, was 8 lbs. 4 oz (my smallest thus far).








YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
good luck!
rach


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

Thanks again everyone. I'm feeling more and more at ease with this. I know theres going to be some pain and burning but i'm not as stressed about it now as I was. Ask me when i'm in labor and I might give you a different answer!! Lol!!! Hopefully i'll be relaxed when the time comes and i'll keep stretching and stretching. My husband has tried to reassure me but its hard to listen to him when hes never come through this before. It still blows my mind though of something that big coming out of something so small. I guess everyone of us has our concerns or fears or we wouldnt be here. Thanks again to all of you!!


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## amyjeans (Jul 27, 2004)

just an fyi- my last baby, unassisted was 11 lbs. and I didn't tear. So just so you know- vaginas are very very very very stretchy!!!








my mantra this time around was "She's coming out, even if she is sideways, she's coming out."


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *christygen*
My close friend who birth about a year ago said that the whole birthing process was uncomfortable but that pushing the baby out is what really hurt the most. It just really worries me about something that big coming out of something that small.

Honestly? It is the worst part for a lot of women (assuming they've gone natural) because most birth attendants have them avoiding pushing when they have the urge, and pushing when they don't. This kind of direction interferes with the optimal hormonal release that will make your tissues stretchy. Think of it this way: how would it be to have sex if you weren't aroused, that is, if hormones weren't flooding your body? It would hurt. You might even have abrasions. Well magnify that times quite a bit bigger object passing through, and you can see how crucial it is to plan a birthing environment that facilitates hormonal release. Think about what you need to become sexually aroused; the same hormones are present in birth, and the same sort of conditions necessary in order for them to release fully. You can see how it will help to be unselfconscious, uninhibited, "in another world", confident, secure, not feeling observed, as little light as possible, comfortable temperature, and with no one trying to converse with you or direct you. It will also help if you allow your body to cue you as when to push or not and how much, rather than some arbitrary measurement. That means no vaginal exams (which are also mentally inhibiting and can the muscles in that area to tense, exactly what you don't want.)

These things will all help your vagina to open wide and not tear. 10 cm is *not* the limit. That's the average point at which your cervix has fully receded. It doesn't mean that's the diameter the baby has to pass through! In fact, even for the average disturbed birth the vagina opens much farther than that to admit the head. And the vagina is actually *not* small. The tissue is just usually extremely compressed.

I had a very difficult pushing phase with my first baby -- two hours, without an urge. This is considered normal. But once I removed all the inhibiting factors -- me with my legs wide open before the midwife, her with her hands up me and on me, telling me when and how to push -- I found I was capable of a quick, easy, _truly_ normal second stage. And yes, it hurt -- I think that most modern-day women are really not in physical or mental shape to do this without some pain. But the painful part of it was incredibly short, and there was no trauma to the tissues. I felt great afterwards. And the best thing was that her coming down through me also felt _good_. So amazing, in fact, that I relived those sensations over and over in my mind until the memory faded several months later. (I wish I could still remember it.)

So, have hope! You can do this, and it can be wonderful!


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

You know, labor hurt more than crowning for me. Though I did have a small baby. The thing that stands out the most for me was that labor did NOT hurt as much as I imagined it would. I do remember her crowning, and I thought, "I don't like this, I think I'll push a lil to help it along." And before I could coordinate my pushing, she was out! Heehee.







(Before that, I was totally surrendering to my body- I couldn't have stopped pushing if I wanted to, and trying to slow my body down would have only caused me unneccesary pain.) Don't be afraid. Fear is pain. Release your fear, trust your body, and your baby will come.


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

OMG amyjeans, 11 lb and no tearing! You just made my day by saying that. I guess its true that our tissues change as the pregnancy progresses. My intentions, these may change during labor, is not to push during any of the crowning and let my body work the baby out. I'm wanting to deliver standing , squatting or in some manner like that. As i've heard before that the urge to push may overwhelm me and that would throw out the window the plans of letting my body push the baby out through contractions. I'm feeling real positive about everything right now. I just hope the baby isnt 11lbs like amyjeans. If so i'm positive I would get split half into.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

It burns pretty badly, but at that point you are so focused on meeting your baby that it's bearable. Pernial support helps as this point, and if you are in water, you feel it a lot less. After all the labor you have been through, crowning is a welcome relief!


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## dantesmama (May 14, 2006)

The pushing stage didn't hurt for me, either. Like a pp said, it felt like a bowling ball was about to fall out of there and I just wanted it out! I remember some pain when DS started to crown, and I was thinking, "Um, never mind, I don't want to do this after all . . . but the baby won't come out otherwise, will it . . . " so I gave one more push and by the I was numb from the pressure.
Really, the pain of crowning won't bother you, I promise! I was afraid of this part, too, but you'll be so caught up in the excitement that it won't seem bad at all. The moment of crowning is such a surreal experience - I felt so connected to all the women who had given birth before me, as well as all the women who will have given birth after me. Just don't let anyone tell you when to push or when not to push.
Have a happy birthing, mama!


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyboys*
I can't say that I remember feeling the actual pain of crowing. The overwhelming memory is of PRESSURE! There was just intense pressure. It's been like that for all my births.









: Crowning didn't hurt a lick for me. Not at all. The pressure was just sooo intense though!


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## MamaTaraX (Oct 5, 2004)

You have received tons of wonderful replies so I will just say







to MDC!!

Namaste, Tara


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Also remember, it's not a solid 13cm diameter circle going through your normal cervix, it's a compressible 13cm diameter circle going through a stretchy 10cm diameter circle. I've done some sketching with compasses and the relative sizes are quite reassuring.

You are unbelievably well prepared!


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## KatSG (Aug 11, 2003)

In my first birth crowning was the most painful, and it burned, and it did feel like I was being torn in half. But I pushed her out nice and slowly and had no tearing at all. Just know that even if it feels like you're ripping you're probably not and just go through it. Then you get to meet your baby!

My second birth was totally different. As we got to the point right before crowning, I could feel her head move down, and then up again and I knew we were close. My body was pushing without any effort from me. She came so quickly the midwives told me to hold it because her hand was by her face. (Need to ask them if they moved it or what...). Then I pushed her out on the next contraction and it didn't hurt at all.


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

Yes I know i've received a lot of replies and thanks a lot for them! This has reassured me a lot on the whole process. It looks like theres going to be quite a bit of pain involved but look what we'll have when the process is over with. All of you dont know how much I appreciate the replies. Its still kind of scary but i'm more prepared now I feel like. Just hope I dont sit here and think of it more on a negative side and scare myself to death again. All of you are wonderful!!! Thanks.


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## mamaglee (Dec 25, 2001)

Wow! Can I just tell you one of my favorite parts of birth last time was that head right there....oh my gosh it was soooo soft! In fact, that is what I'm really looking forward to again, feeling that soft head for the first time. Man, there is nothing sweeter....all those nine months and then labor and then you get to touch your brand new baby!!!!!


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## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

For me, transition was the only thing that hurt really bad. Pushing felt good and once the baby starts crowning, I felt some burning but nothing too bad. Even if you tear, it isnt supposed to hurt too bad because of the pressure from the baby's head. I had a "pressure episiotomy" with no anesthesia, and although I felt it, it didnt hurt as much as I would have thought.


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

I like what fourlittlebirds said. If you want proof about how stretchy your are, feel just inside your vagina. You can feel sort of like, smooth places, and then indented places (that's not a great description, but if you have it, I think you'll know what I mean). It's kind of like a closed accordian. When the baby comes through, it's like the accordian opens, and you know the difference between a closed and an open accordian is dramatic.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Subbing.


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## RockStarMom (Sep 11, 2005)

The time I spent pushing before I could see my baby was definitely the worst part of labor. But the moment I got the first glimpse of my baby was the best part of labor, and the most exciting moment of my life(until moments later when I held her for the first time!). Be sure to have a large hand mirror on hand, and just concentrate on that moment when you get to see and touch your baby.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

welllll i'm going to be honest.

with my first, "crowning" took.... ohhh it must have been close to an hour, if not more so (i pushed for several hours). and it HURT. it felt like i was on fire, and being sliced up with razor blades (and i tore very, very badly). he wasn't even a large baby.

with my second, "crowning" took a very short time ~ less than 5 minutes ~ with no tearing, and still hurt almost as much as my first.

i think there's a lot of misinformation that gets spread around about crowning, maybe because women honestly don't remember but also maybe because people don't want to say "oh yeah, that hurt like a mofo' SOB" ~ because let's face it, that's scary. it's scary to know that you'll have to deal with that level of pain, that sort of intensity that you have never faced in your life, and the TYPE of which you'll never go through unless you give birth vaginally. and for some women, there IS no pain, there's just pressure. for some women, birth is orgasmic.

but for some women (eh hem, like myself) it's one of THE most painful things in the entire scope of human existence.

someone here said (and i'm paraphrasing) "oh yeah, it hurts but it's over in a snap" ~ well, no, it might take a really long time. or it might be quick.







what i *can* tell you is that POSITION and RELAXATION are the two biggest factors. if you fight it... if you back away from it psychologically... it will take a really long time, and hurt, and you'll probably tear. but if you accept it, if you roar through it and just take it as it comes ~ you'll be fine, it will go smoothly, and you'll have far less pain and a much lower risk of injury.

i was terrified of it too, before i had my first. and then, after i had my first, i was terrified of it even more.







but after my second it was... completely transformative.









i guess what i'm saying is: yes, there is the potential for great pain. but your body was built for it (whether you believe in creationism or evolution, there is no denying the fact that women's bodies are perfectly designed for the work of birthing babies). _you can do it._ believe in yourself, believe in the baby, and take each moment as it comes, and you'll be fine.


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

By reading these past few post it seems like i'm just going to have to take whatever my body dishes out.Most of the posts say there will be a little pain and its really nothing and it will be over with in no time to it feels like youre being cut with razor blades. Omg I hope its not the last but after reading all these I think i'm prepared. Anyway i'm pregnant and theres nothing I can do to stop it now. The baby has to come out anyway so i'll have to deal with it. I guess now we'll have to wait and see how much my little opening stretches. Thanks again for your replies!!


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

s christyjen, i'm sorry if i freaked you out.

i just know that for me, it was a lot worse being unprepared..... i mean, nobody had ever told me it COULD feel like that (just like nobody ever told me it COULD be orgasmic, either) ~~ everyone just said "oh well, there's some burning but really it's hardly anything"... so when i actually felt it, it was really, really scary, because i just didn't know that it could be like that, and that was one of the types of "normal" as crowning goes.


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

No Aura-kitten you didnt freak me out. I'm really glad that you told me. Just hope that scenerio dont happen to me though. Lol!!!!! By talking to all of you here makes me feel better about the whole thing.


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## Seie (Jun 9, 2005)

Hmm from what I have read so far it seems that you maybe generalize a bit here?
That if it burns - then it means you still have circulation in the perineum - and that means you are more likely to be able to stretch without tearing? So feeling the "burn" is actually a good thing









It was true for me at least. My second birth I was sure I had torn a lot because it freaking hurt and burned so much - but only a teeny tiny first degree.. not even worth mentioning..


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamaglee*
Wow! Can I just tell you one of my favorite parts of birth last time was that head right there....oh my gosh it was soooo soft! In fact, that is what I'm really looking forward to again, feeling that soft head for the first time. Man, there is nothing sweeter....all those nine months and then labor and then you get to touch your brand new baby!!!!!

I love this part. I have dreams about it. Reaching down and feeling your babies head - euphoric!

I only felt the ring of fire with my first. Never felt it again. But the pp period...ohhhh it stings! Ice packs..Ice packs!!!


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## mommycakes (Sep 21, 2005)

I recall being nervous about labor and birth--I watched videos and wondered how my baby could possibly fit through _there_. I read books, I asked questions (I think we all do) and while what I read and learned helped me mentally prepare myself to accept anything, nothing could truely make me know what to expect. Each experience is so unique. I recall really painful contractions that I moaned through, transition was scary and intense (I begged for drugs at one point, thank God my midwife knew I didn't mean it, didn't want it and that I was at the home stretch) but I don't recall any pain while pushing or crowning--I was on a mission at that point and it felt really good to be able to finally _do_ something. Bottom line is, put your mind to it. You CAN do it. Relax, trust your body and take it as it comes. It's good practice for parenthood


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## gen_here (Dec 31, 2005)

I had a VERY long pushing stage (3.5 hours) - and the crowning was seriously not as bad as I was thinking it would be... I was a little worried before labor like you are now. But at that point, I was just glad that pushing was almost over









I felt the infamous "ring of fire" (it wasn't *that* bad) - I didn't even have time to wait the few seconds before continuing to push to try and let it go numb as I had been encourage - my body just kept pushing him right on out! But my body had been adjusting to his head coming for awhile by that point, so it wasn't a real shock to me at all. In fact, I had two tears at that time, and I didn't even feel pain when they happened... I just felt something "different" happening to my body at that time. I know, that sounds weird... some of your most tender tissues tearing and not feeling pain, but I honestly didn't feel pain at all - just a moving/separating going on that was different that what had been happening. The crowning to head being out happened really quick - within a push or two... and his whole 9lb, 3oz body was out in more more push. It was over so quickly at that point - it really was okay!

Enjoy your birth!!!


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

How are you feeling about it now?


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

Wow,I thought this discussion was dead. Been out of town for a couple of days and see that theres some new replies. To answer the last message of how do I feel about it now? I'm more comfortable than what I was before I started this discussion. I dont guess i'll ever be 100% comfortable but like I said I do feel better about it. I've had ideas of ordering the epi no to stretch myself but hate the price. Me and the hubby will try to find a different way to do it. Thanks everybody!


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

ok.....
you will be fine! i see you are having a hb. Your mw will ( should be) knowledgeable in getting the baby out with no tear or epi.

my good friend had her first baby at home 9 1/2 lbs- 15 inch head- no tear.

if it is important to you- and it should be- you do not need an epi.... your body was made to do this.

Good for you for choosing hb. It is truly an amazing thing-

congrats!! keep posting and asking questions!


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## autumn_faune (Jun 15, 2005)

I've only had one, but crowning was the most blissful, euphoric experience... perhaps ever. Well, that and the mind-blowing orgasm I had as she slipped out.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I thought I would reply again as I just had my second baby a week ago.

Pushing and crowning were such a relief and while not orgasmic for me, it definitely felt good in a way.


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## christygen (Aug 4, 2006)

I already have the midwife but she didnt convince me too much on how things would work out. After hearing all these replies I do feel a lot better. The midwife did say that she would work with my vagina to make sure I didnt tear or if I did it would be minimal. Autumn_faune i'm not sure if I could have a orgasm or not. I'd probably be too tense. I've heard of other women having them and they said it was a feeling that they would never forget. Thanks


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

you will have to relax mama! I visualized all the women who had gone before me supporting me during my birth. It may help you too. make a list of all the people you know who have given birth naturally( w/o drugs.)

have you read the red tent?

It will be minimal at most. You will be abnle to feel what is really going on so you can help to control it( or not if at the time that works for you!)

you can do this! I did- so did a a few more women(lol)
they are no better than you!


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## mrzmeg (Jul 16, 2002)

If you listen to your body, your body won't let you down







. Most mamas who aren't being "coached" and are birthing naturally don't have major issues with tearing.

With both of my births, crowning was quick and the labor was more painful than the actual birth. With my first, there was some of the burning pain, while with my second, the pain was from feeling the joints in my pelvis completely seperate (I do have joint problems, though).

The first time is always scary, since it's an unknown experience, but you'll do wonderfully


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