# How well IS a three year old supposed to talk?!?!



## FIJI Water (Mar 7, 2008)

I have a son who will be 3 1/2 next month. And there are a few people in my family who are saying that my son is not talking the way he should be. The people who live with my son, and see him on a regular basis however DO understand him. He can hear, and he is starting to repeat small sentences. Does this sound like he is on track? I should add however that these people in my family haven't been around another three year old in about 14 years, and they are what you could call hypochondriacs, they seem to be under the empression that you should be able to carry on a conversation with a three year old and understand them like an adult. Does that seem right? There is another three year old in the family right now, but it is a girl, and you can understand her better then my son, but thats only when she decides to talk around new people. And the butting in got worst when someone saw on the Discovery channel a little boy who couldn't speak well because there was water behind his eardrum?!?!?! Does that make any since? But, the difference is that this boys parents couldn't even understand him!!!!! I CAN understand my son!! And then I was told about a girl who had to have she tongue clipped??? Have you ever heard of such a thing???? And it's all really starting to pi** me off!! Please help!!!


----------



## mmhinton (Mar 25, 2008)

On AVERAGE a person not around a 3 yo daily should be able to understand 50-75% of what the child says. The child should be putting 3 word "sentences" together (e.g., more milk mommy, i do it, etc). Now that is AVERAGE and every child develops at his or her own pace. BUT, a parent should be concerned when the above are not occurring or instincts nag at you that there might be something wrong (always trust instincts or "gut" feelings).
Of note, "water behind the eardrum" could cause speech problems - difficulty saying some sounds - making it hard for others to understand the child.


----------



## angie7 (Apr 23, 2007)

If you can understand your son, and he is putting words/sentences together, then I think he is fine. I have always heard that boys do talk later and most 3 y/o's I have met, only their mother knows what they are saying.


----------



## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angie7* 
If you can understand your son, and he is putting words/sentences together, then I think he is fine.

I'll disagree w/ this simply b/c a mom is more trained to understand her child since she sees them more frequently. I'm often interpreting for our 2yo, even to DH b/c I see her all the time and understand her talk. There's a mom I used to work w/ whose dd is 4.5 yo and I can't understand most of what she says. Her preschool teacher has reccomended having speech testing, but mom is adamant she's fine b/c SHE can understand her and she's not talking like her oldest who went to speech therapy. Thankfully she'll start K at public school in the fall and the little girl will get some help.

I was going to post basically the same thing as pp, that by 3 people who don't know your child well should be able to understand most of what they are saying. I would think a 3yo should be able to string together more than 3 words though and it should be independent thought, not just repeating what mom and dad are saying. AJ didn't talk in sentences till 2.5yo and that was late IME compared to his peers at the time.

A child w/ chronic fluid in their ears hears like they are under water, therefore they are going to talk later and not be clear b/c they aren't hearing properly. It's not farfetched at all, my brother was like that and he didn't talk almost at all till he was 3. He got his 2nd set of tubes and was much better.

Yes, children w/ severe tongue tie can have speech problems. They also tend to have a LOT of problems nursing. Again (my poor brother) has a pretty tight tongue tie and has had no problems talking w/ it though, I think it takes a pretty serious case to cause major speech issues.

Honestly, it's not a bad idea to get tested if other people are concerned. I found in this area, people who don't know my child well are often better judges than I am as a parent. If nothing else, maybe talk to your family DR about it and have them talk w/ your child and see what they think. There are lots of programs out there that are for children 0-3 that would be free for the eval and then the therapy if needed etc. If nothing else, you could then tell your family you had him evaluated and they said he was perfect so butt out.


----------



## mmhinton (Mar 25, 2008)

Ok, so I agree with pp. (i have a bit more time to post this time







I am a speech therapist (who has worked with kids from birth through school age) even though I stay home with my kids now!
The info I previously provided were very much averages and many kids do put more than three words together by age 3....but it depends a bit too on actual age. For example, did your kiddo JUST turn 3 or is he nearly 4?? See, there is a difference in what the child should be doing in that case! For a 3 1/2 yo, should be in the middle of the averages - should be freq putting 3 words together and sometimes 4+ (again, these are AVERAGES!).
As for the "tongue tie" - yes it definitely does occur, though is not often a true problem with regards to speech. Usually people will comment on their kiddo having trouble eating. But, if the child is able to lick his lips, speech should not be affected by tongue tie.
Now, also as pp mentioned, I would recommend talking with your dr. If there really is a problem, NOW is a PERFECT time to treat it rather than waiting til school age! But, if there is no problem, then at least you will have peace of mind from talking with the dr!


----------



## snoopy5386 (May 6, 2005)

I have a DD, she is 2.5 and I would say other folks understand around 90% of what she says and she basically converses like an adult. So yeah, I would probably get him checked out, especially if he is only repeating things, not coming up with sentences on his own.


----------



## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

OP, your relatives may be hypochondriacs, and that may be terribly annoying to you, but on rare occasions even hypochondriacs are right. Better to get your DC checked out, and feel foolish that nothing is wrong, than to ignore it and find out much later he has hearing problems or a speech impediment, and you didn't help when you could have.









My DS had maybe 10-20 words at 2 years. Turns out he did have constant middle ear infection, which means he was hearing as if he was swimming in pea soup. All the sounds were muted, so how was he supposed to learn how to talk? Impossible. He got drains (and has had several more since then) and his language blossomed. He is just over 4 now, has ear drains in, and his language is much better. Still behind the average 4 yo, but not by much. He talks in full sentences and much (not all) is understood by others. Each time his drains fall out and his ears clog, he stops learning. New drains and his language catches up again.

My DD has just turned 2 and speaks in 10+ word sentences and knows thousands of words. Much, though again not all, is understood by others. She has had minor ear problems in one ear, and one burst eardrum. But she could still get the full sound range from the other ear. This means she can learn to talk normally.


----------



## crunchymamatobe (Jul 8, 2004)

A friend's 3.5 year old twins, who don't speak in sentances and aren't understood by others, are getting speech/lauguage therepy support services from their local school district. Maybe that's something you want to look into?


----------



## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

My son is almost 3, and really doesn't speak very much. He babbles, and parrots, and repeats. He comes up with strange words and at this point very much speaks his own language. Even we can't understand him much of the time (that said, he is starting to string words together, with coaching)!









I'm not worried. Not only does my family have a propensity for late talkers, especially boys (my brother didn't utter a word until 3, then perfect sentences)...but my son is also learning two languages (Spanish and English), and children in bilingual living situations commonly speak later than those in monolingual ones.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry. Kids develop at their own pace, and I think there has been a push in recent years to pathologize what is simply the normal learning/development curve of human children.


----------



## mommy2maya (Jun 7, 2003)

IMO, an eval doesn't hurt, at all. Early therapies are proven to be extremely helpful, even more so than waiting to see what happens. My dd won;t be three til next month and had that speech development probably a year ago. Last winter she told me that she couldn't get me a trashbag cause the takers took them all, even the ones we just bought at target that morning.


----------



## azmomtoone (Aug 30, 2008)

My son's just turned two and in speech therapy, they say he should be stringing together 2-3 words by 24 mos (on his own, not repeated.... so he says "daddy car" or "daddy bye-bye" when daddy leaves; or says "want juice" or something that he's made up to talk about something, so things like "love you" or "thank you" don't count because they are repeated phrases and more like a single word) Does that make sense? Also that at 2 (in general, not upon turning two) that strangers should understand 50% of the time, and at 3 strangers should understand him 75% of the time.

If he's not doing those things, it doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem, some kids are just "late talkers" but it doesn't hurt to have an eval to rule out problems, like hearing difficulties, that can maybe be easily fixed to allow him to start learning to talk more.


----------



## pbjmama (Sep 20, 2007)

I agree with getting an evaluation. My DS is starting speech therapy in January he is slightly behind in words and has some problems with articulation. It isn't a severe problem but I don't want it to become a severe problem. People are mean (as you have noted) and my kiddo is especially sensitive so I don't want it to get to the point where they are critical to his face. Perhaps your sons language will continue to progress and he won't have any problems later in life. But if it continues that only you and your family can understand him it will be a problem when he goes to school, interacts with people in your community, etc later in life.

This link gives a general idea for you.
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/...elopment.shtml

_And the butting in got worst when someone saw on the Discovery channel a little boy who couldn't speak well because there was water behind his eardrum?!?!?! Does that make any since?_ Yes, it does make sense. The boy couldn't hear normally so his speech didn't develop normally.

_And then I was told about a girl who had to have she tongue clipped??? Have you ever heard of such a thing????_ Yes, in some cases tongue tie can lead to problems with speech later in life.

Obviously it is hard when you find out/others point out that your child may have a problem. That doesn't change who your child is or your level of love or ability as a parent. You are not being attacked or blamed. But getting some intervention/testing can be a good step to find out what is best for your kiddo.


----------



## redeyedvireo (Oct 24, 2007)

A blogger I read had a son who, at the age of four, could put together "sentences" like "Noodles! Eat! Now!" Her daughters had all talked in full sentences at the age of one. It was normal for them to talk early, and it was normal for him to talk late. He is now, at age ten or eleven, one of those kids with a precocious vocabulary.

If I were you, if I had a sense that something was wrong, or if he seemed frustrated, I'd get him checked, and if I felt that he was fine and he seemed happy, I wouldn't.


----------



## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FIJI Water* 
they seem to be under the empression that you should be able to carry on a conversation with a three year old and understand them like an adult. Does that seem right?

My son is 3 yrs 4 mon, and a second child which I do think can affect language. Nearly all of what he says is understood by others. The biggest factor in others not understanding what he says is because they are missing context. For example, he will speak all day long about a movie he saw so that if we go to the grocery store the clerk might have no idea what he's talking about because it comes out of the blue. He does also have a lisp that is getting better over time.

If you are concerned could you speak with your family doctor to have a quick evaluation done? Perhaps it might ease the fears of your family as well.


----------



## greenmagick (Jun 6, 2006)

I am no expert, but that does sound a bit behind to me. Repeating simple sentences and such was done by my dd before 2. My ds is almost 15 months, and has a couple of short sentences....not many people can understand them though. My dd who will be three next week tells whole drawn out stories that she makes up, can carry on a conversation, etc. Now, you cant always tell individual words, especially if its a new one, but she can then explain what she means in other words. Like, this past summer she wanted a strawberry and neither my mom nor I could tell what she was saying. She pointed to the counter and said...right there, the red ones!

Again, without hearing/seeing your ds, who knows. And, as many others have said, all children develop differently. My ds was taking first steps at 9 months and full on walking by 10...my dd was just starting to crawl at 10 months


----------

