# 2 year old pooping in tub



## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

My dd has started this thing that she poops every single time she takes a bath as of late.

I'm uncertain how to handle it (as in my reaction.. .but my first reaction is GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!) and what to do to encourage her to not do this.

The first night I lost it... because I turned around to find her drinking the bathwater that she has pooped in







so I told her that pooping in the tub could make her sick... which I probably shouldn't have said, but I was completely freaked out.

The second night it happened, I pulled her out of the tub and placed her on the potty chair, telling her if she needed to poo, she should try going there... but I think that is a waste, as she doesn't "get it" yet, plus I don't want to start any negative relationships with the potty.

The last couple of nights, I've just ended her bath after she's pooped, as I just didn't have the energy to drain, clean and refill her bath again.

The only nights she's not pooped in the tub are the nights that I've sat on the edge of the tub, like a hawk, reminding her that we don't poop in the tub (which I hate, because I feel like the only reason she didn't go was because she was never relaxed enough.... which pretty much kills the whole idea of a bath in the first place... e.g. relaxation).

I realize that she is probably doing this because she is relaxed.... but I just can't deal with cleaning feces out of the tub... .it's rather contradictory to getting her clean.


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

I don't know. Maybe she likes having you sit with her? Maybe try a shower instead? Have you tried sitting her on the toilet before the bath? Has her stool become different, loose from a change of diet? More fiber, maybe? Dairy or fruit just before the bath may cause the increased motility of her bowels. Maybe she is too busy to notice? Maybe the sensory experience of the water is confusing in some way that she is unaware of the relaxed effect on her sphincter? I imagine it will (no pun intended) pass with gentle reminders and promptly removing her from the water.

She is quite young and there are a lot of variables for her to be aware of and controlling; and if she is tired, she probably has less self-awareness and less self-control.

Pat


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

I sit with her every time (she's too young to leave unattended IMO) she just doesn't go when I continually say "no poo in the tub" which I hate, because then I feel like I'm nagging her... and that is not the mother I want to be.

Nothing new in her diet. No change in the consistency of her bowels. It's actually very odd, because she is a once a day kinda girl... has been since starting solids... 3pm every day. She still does her 3pm routine, and then follows it up with the 7pm bathtime encore









I'm sure it is something that she'll grow out of... it's just sooooooooo icky!


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

I think you were right to tell her that drinking poo-contaminated water could make her sick, because that is the truth. I would keep reinforcing that message, and maybe even tell her that sitting in poopy water could make her sick, because that is also true, since her skin is getting covered in fecal bacteria.

Maybe you could take the approach of: "because pooing in the water can make you sick, I need you to poo before you have a bath." Then offer diaper or potty and offer your time and attention during the process. You could even read books together in the bathroom until she poops.

Filling up the tub so she can see the water all splashy and appealing might also prompt her to do her business so she can hop in.

ITA that cleaning poo out of the tub is revolting, but it seems to me like it's less of a power struggle if you frame it as a health issue. Neither of you want her to be sick, so you wind up on the same side and work to solve the problem together.


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## GabeMom (Aug 17, 2005)

I don't have experience here, but a thought occurred to me when I read your post. The ECers use the Baby Bjorn Little Potty. It is a one-piece plastic potty that you can order from the Internet, or I have even seen them at Babies R Us for around $10. If you don't fill the tub too full, maybe you could put the potty in with her and help her sit on it when she feels the need to poop in the tub. Maybe that would make the potty a more "positive" thing and she might even like the novelty of it! Plus, of course, it's easy for you to clean up. HTH!


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## mammafish78 (Jun 9, 2005)

my 2 yr old ds went through a phase of this for maybe a month and then every now and again.

i would take him out of the water, put him on the potty so he could see me clean the tub. this way he is learning to sit on the potty to poop, and that poop does not belong in the tath tub. then we resume the bath.

i say go with what your doing and she will stop soon enough. i know its gross and nasty but ya just gotta roll with the punches. and hey, my ds drank the water he pooped in too.

sometimes i would put him on the potty and tell him he had to *make poop balls* before you get in the tath tub. he would get so excited and poop.

now we have no problems.


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## Allie2 (Jun 7, 2005)

My 21 month old pooped in the tub for about a month. We tried EVERYTHING to get her to stop and nothing worked. Finally we just told her if she keeps pooping in the tub there was no more playing in the tub. In and out lickety split every night. She pooped once after that and then no more. It was a game to her. Especially our reaction.


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## kerc (May 9, 2002)

my dd occasionally pooped in the tub and we
a. told her she'd get sick if she drank poopy water (actually my dh is obsessed with her not drinking any tub water, it annoys me but....)

b. pulled her out and then end the bath right there

c. encourage her by saying stuff like "remember if you have to poop you should let us know as soon as you know you're going to poop. then we can help you get to the potty quick enough that we don't have to drain the bubble bath."

Now that she's older as she began pooping in the tub again the week dd2 was born we now have a rule that she has to sit on the potty and pee (or try) before bathtime. that generally gets any poop she needs. and it eliminates all her peeing in the tub too. ick.


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## miziki (Mar 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
she just doesn't go when I continually say "no poo in the tub" which I hate, because then I feel like I'm nagging her... and that is not the mother I want to be.

Definitely agree with you here - I wouldn't want to be doing that either.

Besides, I know SOOO many moms who are just tortured over the fact that their toddlers (2, 3, 4 yrs old) WON'T poop outside the diaper, either because they are scared to, or not relaxed enough to, or confused about why the change from "go in diaper" to now "go in potty".

So if it were me, I'd be celebrating -- *encouraging* her to get it out (NOT keep it in). Use her willingness to go in the tub to BOTH of your advantages --> like another poster *brilliantly* suggested (and I heartily second this and it is easy to try):

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GabeMom*
one-piece plastic potty... if you don't fill the tub too full, maybe you could put the potty in with her and help her sit on it when she feels the need to poop in the tub.

Have you tried this yet? What is your dd's reaction?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
Nothing new in her diet. No change in the consistency of her bowels. It's actually very odd, because she is a once a day kinda girl... has been since starting solids... 3pm every day. She still does her 3pm routine, and then follows it up with the 7pm bathtime encore









HUGE kudos to you for clearly knowing your dd's poop timing & frequency, as well as being really aware of what's normal for her (diet, poop consistency)!!!







You're ahead of the game here, seriously.

It's so awesome that you're really tuned into her elimination signals... which is *superb* for now helping her learn how to tune into her own sensations & potty learn. I'm actually surprised that you wouldn't take advantage of that knowledge of her timing to just offer her the potty at 3pm and 7pm? Trust me when I say using the potty is WAY easier than cleaning poop out of toddler crevices and off of diapers.







It's more fun, too. You can have fun reading a book together while she does her business. Plus, if she's on the potty for poop time, you just flush and do a quick wipe (usually not messy like diapered poop butt cleanup).

Something you said in your original post about offering her the potty:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
but I think that is a waste, as she doesn't "get it" yet

How do you know that she doesn't "get it yet" -- or how regularly/consistently have you had this be a normal conversation, like similar to how you talk about eating, sleeping, etc.? How much/often have you really talked with her about what her body is doing (what that pressure is before pooping, and what it means is coming next), where pee/poop go? Have you talked through it many times and showed her by modeling for her yourself (letting her watch you go, or trying to go together at the same time with you on the adult toilet and her on a little potty) on a regular basis?

I guess I just have seen first hand that 2 yrs old isn't too young to potty learn. Shoot, I've seen that 2 WEEKS old isn't too young, _*as long as it's done with love, NO pressure or negativity, no expectations other than communicating about elimination (with the bonus being that often the pee/poop does end up in the potty).*_









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
it's just sooooooooo icky!

Totally agree with you here that dealing w/ poop floaters in the tub is icky!







Hope it stops soon, one way or another!


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

miziki, I offer the potty several times a day (every time I go actually) and have tried around her daily evacuation







She sits for just a second and then says "all done" and gets up. I feel like I need to let her do this, that if I ask her continually to sit back down that I'm not letting her do it on her terms and that it will cause negative association with the potty. Am I way off here? I've just tried to make sure that the potty is on her terms, when she wants it so that she doesn't feel pressured.

I have tried the potty before bath, and while it's filling. It's the same scenario. I have not tried the potty in the bathtub though... that might be something that I try tonight (the thought crossed my mind last night, but wasn't sure how to make it work... I'm an engineer... I can certainly figure it out







)

When I said "she doesn't get it" what I meant was, she is still learning what the urination sensation is (e.g. when she goes naked... she still looks completely shocked that it runs down her leg). She has just (in the last month) started acknowledging when she has a "poopy butt" and tells me, so that's a start.

I just want to get through this without any negative impact towards potty learning.... and the fact that mama is really sick of poo is an additional incentive


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## MyrDawn (Nov 24, 2005)

Here's my take on it from what I know about kids tht age. The first time was probably an accident. She had to poop, so she did. Then, when you made a big deal out of it, she decided it was fun to get so much attention and kept doing it. Kids that age LOVE attention of any kind.

I'd try easing up on your reactions, and calmly remind her just ONE time not to poop in the tub, when you first put her in, and take her out immediately if she does, without any fanfare...just tell her you're taking her out of the tub because her poop made the water too dirty to stay in.


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

My ds2 started pooping in the tub. THe problem was he bathed with his brother and sister so I had 3 kids in the poopy water.
My solution was that they stopped getting baths and started showering instead. For a couple of months they didnt get a bath at all, just shower. Now if I give them a bath, there is no poop.
Joline
eta. They love playing in the shower with their bath toys just as much as in the bath.


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MyrDawn*
I'd try easing up on your reactions, and calmly remind her just ONE time not to poop in the tub, when you first put her in, and take her out immediately if she does, without any fanfare...just tell her you're taking her out of the tub because her poop made the water too dirty to stay in.

This is what I did last night. To be honest, because I was too dang tired to drain, clean and refill... she seemed somewhat disappointed that the bath was over quicker than she would have liked, but she's such a "go with the flow" kinda gal, that I have to wonder if she even cared







We'll see how tonight goes.

Thanks for all of the responses. It truly is so reassuring to know that I'm not the only log fetcher out there


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## angela&avery (May 30, 2002)

ya, my ds did this at one point. I think its ok to say drinking the water will make her sick. Calm reminders and quicker baths i think are best. Get in wash up and get out. If she asks why say, oh well i just dont want poop in the tub.


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## lisac77 (May 27, 2005)

We just started doing a quickie in-and-out deal. He eventually quit doing it. Our method was to end the bath immediately. So it went put in, wash everyting quickly and wait for the poop. I don't think he's done that in months now.


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## spin462002 (May 7, 2005)

She is still a baby and highly likely cannot control her bowels in water. Many babies/toddlers poop in swimming pools too. It is about them having a lack of sensation in their anal sphincter and having no control. Have you tried giving her a bath after her 3pm poop? That change in routine might be good for both of you and might help put the "fun" back into bath time, which was always the best reason for a bath when my children were young. They were hardly ever dirty enough to need one! You could also skip a day and bathe her every other day and see if she poops in her nappy at the same time, bath or no bath. Showers can be fun too, so just try a few different things and see how she goes. It is just a temporary stage and she will grow out of it whatever you do!

just enjoy her, she will grow up all too soon!

with love

Lynn
loving homebirthing, extended breastfeeding, homeschooling momma to Toby 24, Zoe 22, Josie 20 and Naomi 11
now a Nanna to Caitlin 3 and Jake 10 months : )


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## miziki (Mar 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spin462002*
It is about them having a lack of sensation in their anal sphincter and having no control.










Um, this is absolutely a cultural belief - not a medically proven fact!!!

Check out the math: over 50% of the worlds' children are potty trained by the age of 1 yr old, so it's completely untrue that a 2 yr old doesn't have the ability to "have control" over their elimination if they've never lost touch with it in the first place. Why would our babies be physiologically any different than those in the rest of the world?

What *does* happen in our western culture (and this is only within the last 50-75 yrs) is that full-time diapering the way it's done now causes our babies to lose touch with the elimination sensations they are *born knowing to recognize & communicate to us* (just like they can communicate to us about hunger from birth & we learn their signs/signals for that)! Thus, our babies become diaper-trained, lose sphincter tone over the next 24 months, and the result is that our toddlers have no control because we *as a culture* train them to lose control. It's a loss of control due to our cultural practices, NOT due to physiological inability!!!

Having said that, and before anyone thinks I'm trying to induce guilt or blame (which I promise you, *I AM NOT!*) --> I did the traditional diapering of my DD for the first 8-9 months, too, so please no flames. Please understand that I am NOT saying any of the above judgementally - simply factually.

I just think it's important to dissipate false physiological/medical information, especially because as a culture, we don't talk about infants' ability to signal & control their elimination much.







Diapering and then toddler potty training is just the only option we ever see/know/hear about from drs, media, vast majority of childrearing books.









It's very much the way breastfeeding was in severe decline after the introduction of/ease of availability of formula & subsequent spreading of incorrect medical information about breastfeeding. Disposable diapering has resulted in the same decline in early potty learning -- our kids are potty trained later and later and later & the medical myth of "no control of sphincter before 18-24 mos" is rarely, if ever, even questioned in our culture. There is no medical research available that can prove that babies don't have control - the only research that's been done is on diapered babies who have already lost touch w/ their elimination sensations!

Before disposables were so readily & cheaply available to the masses (and automatic washers/dryers showed up in so many homes, for ease of CDing) most of our grandmas and great grandmas "held out" their babies over a chamber pot and potty trained their babies by around 1 yr! So, if you've heard this from one of the older members of your family (that they potty trained your mom or dad by 12 mos old), they really were remembering correctly - it wasn't senility!


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## miziki (Mar 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
miziki, I offer the potty several times a day (every time I go actually) and have tried around her daily evacuation







She sits for just a second and then says "all done" and gets up.

That's *great*! I just didn't have any idea of how you'd been dealing w/ potty learning to this point. Can I ask.. when you try to "go together" is it after you notice her starting to strain/get ready to poop? Do you talk to her about what you're doing? For example:

"Hey, I smell some farts! That means it might be time to poop - let's grab your favorite book/toy and go sit on the potty together."

"[Start reading book together...] Hey, mama is pooping - do you hear me grunting/pushing? [you make slightly exaggerated grunting noise] It feels really nice to relax and get that poop out of me and into the potty! Do you have any poopy that you can push out into your potty?"

While modeling like you're already doing is *fantastic* it can also help to have a running verbal script going, too. You may already be doing this, too -- and if so, that's excellent.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
I feel like I need to let her do this, that if I ask her continually to sit back down that I'm not letting her do it on her terms and that it will cause negative association with the potty. Am I way off here?

You're right on the money (nowhere NEAR "way off"). My only additions would be to:
* watch dd for specific "pre-poop signals" and once you see this, THEN offer the potty so that she's likely feeling the need to poop (instead of just hanging out on the potty w/o feeling poop-ready)
* offer enticing things like book, interesting gadget for her to play with so that she can hang out on the potty comfortably, relax/distract herself, and have some time to do her business/get in touch w/ her elimination sensations

You're absolutely being respectful when you don't want to ask her to continually sit back down - again, you're clearly doing the right thing and ensuring positivity w/ respect to using the potty! Just offering a favorite book or toy right as you notice her "pre-poop signals" will likely circumvent this getting on/off/on the potty anyway (again, without pressure or coersion or negative association).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Icequeen_in_ak*
I have not tried the potty in the bathtub though... that might be something that I try tonight (the thought crossed my mind last night, but wasn't sure how to make it work... I'm an engineer... I can certainly figure it out







)

Of course you'll figure it out (I was an engineer too before staying home w/ dd)!







Another question for you: what are her signals once she's in the tub that preceed the "floating log" -- do you notice her straining, does she get really still/look of concentration? You could calmly provide the little potty at the time you notice her signals (and talk to her about what you're noticing "I see you straining - do you feel pressure in your bum?). And, of course, it never hurts to simply communicate to her "DD, when you're in the tub tonight, if you feel poopy wanting to come out, tell mommy and I'll give you the potty to sit on so that our bath stays clean and you can stay in the bath longer!"

You might be surprised at her response/comprehension. And then if that works a few times, simply explain that we use the potty outside of the tub (to help her understand where the poop goes, and that is definitely NOT in the bathtub).









Quote:

When I said "she doesn't get it" what I meant was, she is still learning what the urination sensation is (e.g. when she goes naked... she still looks completely shocked that it runs down her leg). She has just (in the last month) started acknowledging when she has a "poopy butt" and tells me, so that's a start.
That's such an excellent start, though ("poopy butt"). Do you talk to her about the pee running down her leg as it's happening? Regardless, it sounds like you are working well as a team and things are going really smoothly. Seriuosly --> even this "floating log" thing is kind of a good sign, if you think about it! It's a regular, reliable opportunity to help her regain awareness of her bowel sensations, as that is essentially what we're asking our toddlers to do when we make the diaper-to-potty transition.

Quote:

I just want to get through this without any negative impact towards potty learning.... and the fact that mama is really sick of poo is an additional incentive








You seem like such a sweet mama who is doing a GREAT job, is really tuned in to her DD, and is very conscientious of providing a positive potty learning experience. Your DD is lucky! And while the floating log thing isn't the most pleasant thing to deal with, at least your DD is comfortable pooping outside the diaper which really *IS* a bonus. I know several moms personally just in my small group of friends whose older toddlers really just ask for a diaper when they need to poop - they'd be thrilled for a location change!


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