# I just dont get it



## christymama (Feb 21, 2003)

I just dont get it ladies. I was pregnant last week and now im not. So why? How? I lost the baby at 9 weeks, Everyone says its better now then later on. No its not better I wonder if they know how cold hearted they sound when they say that to me.??








I have two healthy children i have to keep my self together for its hard I never thought I would have to go through this . My dr was telling me its not my fault . There isnt anything i could of done different etc. I guess i just needed to vent hope thats ok to do here. Thanks!


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

You know.......I know ppl are trying to help and yes in some ways it may have been a little easier ro lose a baby early....but WHO CARES!!

You lost a baby....it doens't matter you have still have lost a child. It is hard...it does get a little easier....but its still hard

I'm sorry you are going through this......it sucks......hold you babies close and love them lots. Its amazing how healing our children can be.


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## juicylucy (May 20, 2002)

christymama, I'm so sorry for your loss









It is of course just as painful to lose a child, however far along you are. I think people just sometimes don't know what to say, so they come up with the same old garbage, even if they mean well.

I'm sending you healing vibes- I hope you find the support you need (the ladies here are usually good for that!)


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

christymama, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's overwhelming to think that last week you were pregnant and now your not isn't it









People so often say things like that because they cannot deal with your deep greif and emotions (or they choose not to). The comments some people can make can really hurt.

Please know that your pain is real, it's justified and it's YOURS!!!

As for the kids, please don't feel you have to hide your greif from them. What a beautiful lesson for your children to know that greif is ok because even mommy greives. Let them know why your sad and that you won't be sad forever.

How are you feeling now? Emotionally/physically? Please remember to care for yourself. You need lot's of liquids and iron right now to help rebuild what your body has lost. Many moms find Red Rasberry Leaf tea and Evening Primrose Oil helpful in balancing their emotions.

You and your precious baby will be in my thoughts.


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## naotalba (May 29, 2002)

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious child. Your baby was precious to you, and the fact that you had so little time together won't make the pain of your loss go away. You have the right to grieve.


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## Shakti (Nov 20, 2001)

christymama - I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, you do have a right to grieve. Losing a baby this early is still a loss, it doesn't matter how far along you were. No, they probably don't know how cold-hearted they sound. They are probably trying to make you feel better. It is a sad thing that most people in this society suppress their allegedly 'negative' emotions, and they are uncomfortable in the presence of others expressing those 'negative' emotions. It is very hard for most people to simply be present and supportive.

What helped me tremendously during my miscarriage was the homeopathic remedy Ignatia. It didn't make the pain and grief go away, but it did, to use my ND's words, make me 'bigger' so that I could contain the grief better.

We are here if you need to talk. {{{{christymama}}}}

Patti


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## christymama (Feb 21, 2003)

Thank you so much for all your caring and supportive words. I know everyone means well. It is hard. My kids are doing well with it. My 6 year old said "im mad and im sad" I sad why are you mad she said cause i wanted a brother and she said shes sad because I was so sad. then gave me a big hug and said IM here mama. So that pretty much helped me big time. I know the loss with always be there and i will always feel the what ifs. But the fact is i do have two great children. I will always have the loss. Thank you to all you wonderful women who have giving me great support through this . There is light at the end of the tunnel Thanks for showing me that.


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## karenpl (Dec 18, 2001)

{{{{ HUGS }}}}} christymama.

I have been there way too many times, it hurts. Even if it happens early, it still hurts a lot.

Take care of yourself, and allow yourself time to grief.

Karen


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## christymama (Feb 21, 2003)

Hello Ladoes It has been awhile since my last post on here. It has been a little over 2 weeks since my m/c! It is easier with time but I havent had my first period after it yet, I think I will be a mess when that comes. Any advice on how to deal with that and will there be anything different about it? I feel back to normal (body wise) Mind wise I still hurt. But I think thats somethign that will always be there.

Just wanted to check in and let you all know Im ok and still here


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## naturegirl (Apr 16, 2002)

It's good to hear from you Christymama. I was wondering how you were getting along.

As far as the first period after m/c, mine was pretty much the same as pre-pregnancy periods physically. Of course, I was an emotional wreck. It did give me a sense of closure though so I could move on and really deal with the loss. I felt that my body was getting back to normalicy.

Hope you feel well soon. My thoughts are with you.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

christymama, thank you for checking in. I always worry about you mamma's.

Your first cycle will most likely be difficult as you suspect. With hormones at play and the reminder that your body is in a different state.

One thing that brought me peace is remembering that my body was also working and that my fertility was comming back. This helped some.

You may want to try some Evening Primrose Oil. It really helps keep your hormones in ballance.

Try to get pleanty of rest and eat well. Please let us know how you doing.

Gentle hugs to you.


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