# Do you let your dc climb "up" the slide?



## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

I do. I don't see what the big deal is?







I do teach them that they may not climb up the slide when others are using it, etc...but if it's just us or there is no one playing on the slides, I don't care. I am constantly seeing parents snagging their kids off the middle of the slide, on the way up







, saying, "we do not climb up the slide". There isn't usually anyone else playing on the slide, so maybe it is for my "hearing range" benefit?







I don't know, just wondering.








I do know that 2 or 3 trips up the big slide for my 2 yo wears her out wonderfully.









So, do you think crawling up the slide is a







?

ETA: I always "spot" my kids when they are going up.


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## alicia622 (May 8, 2005)

I think climbing up a slide is part of being a kid. If there are others wanting to go down, than I don't let G climb up, but I don't see anything wrong with it.


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## mackysmama (Jan 11, 2005)

My kids always climb up the slide. I think it is AOK unless someone is waiting to go down the slide. I don't see what the big deal is about this and I've also seen lots of parents saying no to this.

My dd, at 18 months, could climb one of those big enclosed slides REALLY fast and then I'd have to figure out a way to get her down. That was a little tricky.


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## Martha_2sons (Mar 28, 2007)

I'm in the same boat as you. If no one is coming down, why not go up? I do sometimes feel conflicted when I'm allowing my son to do it and another parent is telling her child not to, especially when I get the hairy eyeball like I'm a bad mom for allowing it.


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## TwinMom (Dec 27, 2001)

Definitely. We have two slides in our back yard on which they often have races, to see who can get up faster. At the playground, I don't care as long as there's not someone who is trying to come down the slide at the same time, especially if that kid can't see anyone trying to come up, in the case of a tube or twisty slide.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Martha_2sons* 
I'm in the same boat as you. If no one is coming down, why not go up? I do sometimes feel conflicted when I'm allowing my son to do it and another parent is telling her child not to, especially when I get the hairy eyeball like I'm a bad mom for allowing it.









exactly


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

Up, down, it's all good.









Saying "we don't climb up the slide" seems like a pretty nice way to teach kids not to experiment. How limiting! Assuming there isn't already somebody coming down it, WHY NOT climb up the slide?


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

No.

They can of course do anything they like on the playset in the back yard (and they frequently do







)

But I believe in teaching courtesy on a public playgrounds, and they are not allowed to use the slide in a manner that might be dangerous or inconvenient for others. Going up a slide certainly falls under that umbrella.


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## Luca'smum (Apr 1, 2005)

I let my son climb up as long as no one is waiting to come down. It is a bit awkward when the other parents around me are telling the kids they can't climb the slides. I remember when I was 5, I was playing at the park with my friend and I could climb the slide and she couldn't. So I got to have twice as many turns as she did because it took longer to walk around to the ladder. She was so mad she bit me so hard she broke the skin on my arm. That didn't stop me from climbing the slide but it did stop me from playing with her again.


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## kkeris (Oct 15, 2005)

If there are no other kids going down, of course! I see no reason not to allow it, unless she might be causing inconvenience to others.


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## graye_pearl (Oct 14, 2006)

Ds knows he can only climb up the slide at a public playground as long as nobody else wants to use it. If we see another kid coming over to slide down, he moves out of the way.

He's got a playset at home with a slide, and climbs up it all the time


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
No.

They can of course do anything they like on the playset in the back yard (and they frequently do







)

But I believe in teaching courtesy on a public playgrounds, and they are not allowed to use the slide in a manner that might be dangerous or inconvenient for others. Going up a slide certainly falls under that umbrella.











Nothing irritates me more than when my 2 year old is waiting to go down and there are 7 & 8 year olds climbing up the slide or clogging it up on purpose. I'd rather just teach him that slides are meant to slide down, not climb up.


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## tm2840 (Feb 23, 2005)

I'm the "other" chooser.

If we are at home with just family they can climb up our slides.

If we are playing at the elementary school playground we never climb up the slides (even when no one else is around) because that is the school's rule. DS will likely go to that school next year.

If we are playing in a park with other kids, no climbing up. My son is seven so he's bigger than many park kids and it can be hard to get around the smaller kids at the top of the slide if he DOES climb up. I wish other people's kids wouldn't let them climb up because I also worry (especially on spiral slides) the he'll be sliding down and won't notice a two year old just starting to climb up and the little child may wind up clobbered by my son as he's coming down).

It's also kind of "laziness" on my part. If they are all sliding DOWN the slide and climbing UP the ladder it requires a lot less intervention ("Let X go down the slide. Y, you may climb up now, no one is waiting. Be careful sliding, always yell down the spiral slide to let those at the bottom know you're coming down - oh, be careful little Z! X just said he's coming down and you don't want him to land on you!").

There are days I'm just not up to that level of supervision and interaction, especially at 4 or 5 in the afternoon.









And the final reason for the "other" is that I do sometimes act inconsistent and let them climb up public slides when there are only a few other kids around, it's going smoothly without a lot of intervention and no little ones are near the slide who may try to climb up and get hurt.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

dd climbs up, slides down any old which way she wants to









We do model being respectful of others and if children are trying to slide down, dd almost always backs down the slide without being asked or whatever ---

I have gotten the "hairy eyeball"







too when dd is climbing up a slide or playing with other equipment in a way that is perceived "wrong" to other people (even if nothing is being harmed, no one is being hurt or inconvenienced) --

It's a park sheesh.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I really try to regulate my daughter's play as little as possible. Unless I see some kind of immediate safety concern, she does what she wants. So I put yes unless there's someone sliding down - as that's an immediate safety concern.


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## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

As long as no one is trying to go down, I see no issue with letting them climb up the slide.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Like most of the other posters I have no problem as long as my kids are being respectful of the other sliders. I have often been the recipient of the hairy eyeball and I don't care.







I prefer to teach my kids to approach obstacles from many angles, telling them there is only one way up and one way down is, to me, like telling a kid to color in the lines.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

For those of you who are getting the hairy eyeball, has it occurred to you that parents are being forced to keep their kids away from the slide while your child goes haywire on it?


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

We're not at that age yet, but-- I figure I would allow it if we were the only ones there, but not if there were anyone else around or if there were a posted rule (I see them at a lot of playgrounds) against it.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
For those of you who are getting the hairy eyeball, has it occurred to you that parents are being forced to keep their kids away from the slide while your child goes haywire on it?

Well, it is my opinion that no one is forced to do anything (in *normal* situations, I am not speaking of like, political prisoners and such) --- parks are to be played on and my child is free to play however she likes so long as she is respecting others and staying safe ---

If someone is across the park feeling "forced" to keep their child away from the slide, to me that is their issue for not speaking up, not mine. In other words, a few seconds of observation would show them that I help dd stay respectful of other sliders (in that she moves or I help redirect if others want to slide) -- Also, if their child wanders near the slide, I will usually ask the child if they seem to be holding back "did you want to slide? You can take a turn!" (in a friendly way, then explain to dd the child is wanting a turn and dd has had no issues moving aside) ...

So I really don't understand the mindset of "forcing" someone to stay away from anything -- other people's fear of asking a question is not my concern -- I could easily say those people are trying to "force" my child to play the way they dictate -- but I don't -- I mind my own business, act friendly, make it known (without actually taking their hand and leading them to the slide) in my mannerisms and words that anyone is free to use the slide (dd has never had an issue sharing it) --

Where is get the hairy eyeball in my understanding of what I have seen and heard is when a parent is lying to their child or saying some nonsense about it being against the law orthe "park people" are going to come get them in trouble or some such, and then dd is climbing up the slide and the kid wonders why she can do it -- continuing a deception a parent started in order to keep their kids from doing something they don't want is not my job. I really respect (even if I don't understand) when parents simply say "I don't want you to climb up the slide for ______ reason" and explain that dd is doing it because I said it was okay. Strange, don't get the hairy eyeball from them.


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## Mommy Piadosa (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
I really try to regulate my daughter's play as little as possible. Unless I see some kind of immediate safety concern, she does what she wants. So I put yes unless there's someone sliding down - as that's an immediate safety concern.

Me too!!!!


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## cpop (May 3, 2006)

I picked yes if there are no other children and it is safe.
I let her climb the slide now (she is 4.5) but I did not let her climb the slide when she was under 3, because I felt it would be too difficult for her to discern when it is safe and remember the rule about not climbing when other children are there.
But it does bug me a lot when there are kids waiting to use the slide and one kid keeps climbing up.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
For those of you who are getting the hairy eyeball, has it occurred to you that parents are being forced to keep their kids away from the slide while your child goes haywire on it?


LOL... well, my kids are hardly going "haywire" by climbing up. And like I said, I make sure they are not thwarting any one else's fun. If a mom wants to micromanage her kids and make sure they only go up the up and down the down that's her choice.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena* 
LOL... well, my kids are hardly going "haywire" by climbing up. And like I said, I make sure they are not thwarting any one else's fun. If a mom wants to micromanage her kids and make sure they only go up the up and down the down that's her choice.

I'm glad you make sure your kids aren't "thwarting anybody else's fun" because most parents here do not care. We have a huge park near our house and it is always packed with kids.

Twice I've had DS go down the tube slide and after about 30 seconds he still has not emerged. Both times it was because bigger kids had blocked the tube slide and he's stuck in there with them crying! I try to remember that they're just playing but boy does it make me angry that they they just ignore another _littler_ kid coming down, even after he starts crying out of fear from being stuck in a small space with these big kids.


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## elizawill (Feb 11, 2007)

the park we go to often, no one else is there but us...in this case - i could care less if they go up the slide. if we are at an indoor play place that's really crowded, i ask them to go down the slide only. i don't want my kiddos to get hurt climbing up while another kid is sliding down and vice versa. it's about safety imo, not so much courtesy.....it's a playplace!


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## elizawill (Feb 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
I'm glad you make sure your kids aren't "thwarting anybody else's fun" because most parents here do not care. We have a huge park near our house and it is always packed with kids.

Twice I've had DS go down the tube slide and after about 30 seconds he still has not emerged. Both times it was because bigger kids had blocked the tube slide and he's stuck in there with them crying! I try to remember that they're just playing but boy does it make me angry that they they just ignore another _littler_ kid coming down, even after he starts crying out of fear from being stuck in a small space with these big kids.


yep - that would tick me off too probably. not only can it be scary to your child, but someone could easily get hurt. not cool.


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## 3luvz (May 22, 2005)

I think it's part of the fun of slides, but only if the situation allows it!
I ask my kids to only go up if there aren't any other kids around. It is
a safety issue and so far it has worked out o.k. I think it teaches them
to be more aware of those around them and have fun at the same time.
I say "not right now", not "we don't do that" like many parents at the park
seem to do. I usually get some strange looks!


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## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

I'm not sure how it follows that all children who are climbing up the slide are necessarily going haywire or are preventing other children from using the slide.

Allowing children to explore playground equipment doesn't have to clash with teaching courtesy toward other people. You can do both!


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## polka hop (Dec 23, 2003)

*


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

For now the rule is no climbing. They aren't aware enough of others to know when others are and aren't trying to use the slide.


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## abac (Mar 10, 2005)

Ds can go up or down the slide as he pleases. I don't worry about what other people allow their children to do or not.

Related story: A few weeks ago at the park, ds was trying (unsuccessfully) to climb up a pole, (yk, the ones for sliding down.) Two girls came to the top of the pole and said, "The pole is only for going down." Ds, 3, didn't respond, so I just said, "He likes to try to go up." Girl: "Well, I want to come down, can you move him?" At this point, I asked ds if he would move so the girls could come down. He said no, so I told the girls they would have to wait a minute, that he probably wouldn't be long trying to climb, and would soon move on to something else. Both girls and ds were satisfied, and sure enough, he moved in a matter of minutes. I take a similar approach with the slides.


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## mommy2AandZ (Feb 12, 2007)

With the majority on this one. If no one is coming down then they can climb up. It's like a little challenge for my 3yo to see if he can make it all the way up. LOL


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## mamamelia (Apr 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polka hop* 
No, I don't. I don't want my children to be creative or want to try new things, and I love nothing more than micromanaging their play. What other possible motivation could I have for telling my kid not to go up the slide?

Folks? Envision a world in which you aren't personally offended by the fact that other families have different rules than yours.

oh, so that's why some parent's don't let thier dc climb up the slide!!!! how silly of me to not have thought of that.

really polka hop...







think about what you've said. if the parents HERE on MDC weren't personally offended by the fact that other families had rules different to thiers, would they be on MDC? would MDC exist? think about it.


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## polka hop (Dec 23, 2003)

*


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## cottonwood (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
Nothing irritates me more than when my 2 year old is waiting to go down and there are 7 & 8 year olds climbing up the slide or clogging it up on purpose. I'd rather just teach him that slides are meant to slide down, not climb up.

I'd rather just teach them to be aware and have courtesy for others. That's the real issue, isn't it?


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## sarbear (Mar 21, 2007)

As someone who has worked in elementary schools for some time, and specifically kindergarten playground duty, I would not let my ds climb up any slide. Most schools don't allow it on playgrounds for obvious safety reasons (one going up, one coming down, someone gets a foot in the eye...), so if your dc goes, or will go to school, I think it is probably best to teach the rule all around so there is no confusion. Even if they don't go to school, it is just safer. Public playgrounds can be scary places sometimes









As for the 'at home but not at school' logic, little ones often get excited and forget momentarily where they are. They don't tend to pause and say "Am I at school or at home? Oh I better not do ______"... It was always the same kids climbing up the slide (and, incidentally, having to sit out because of it







), and it seems to me those are probably the kids whose parents let them do it outside of school.


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## riversong (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sarbear* 

As for the 'at home but not at school' logic, little ones often get excited and forget momentarily where they are. They don't tend to pause and say "Am I at school or at home? Oh I better not do ______"... It was always the same kids climbing up the slide (and, incidentally, having to sit out because of it







), and it seems to me those are probably the kids whose parents let them do it outside of school.

I actually think kids are pretty good at seeing the distinction between home and school. I was an elementary school teacher for five years and (most of) my students knew that behavior at school was more constrained than at home because of safety when in large groups. The kids who consistently broke the rules on the playground seemed more like ones who needed attention from an adult. I don't think they just forgot that they weren't supposed to go up the slide at school.

Incidentally, I let my dd go up the slide all she wants when no one else wants to come down. I think the problem is when kids are blocking the slide so that no one can come down. It's just as annoying to see a kid sitting at the top of the slide and refusing to slide down. (That was my dd for a while.







) And it's even _more_ annoying to see bigger kids running all over the little kids' play structure and knocking them down. I try to teach dd to be safe and allow other kids to use the equipment at the playground. Otherwise, she can do what she wants there.


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## sarbear (Mar 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *riversong* 
I actually think kids are pretty good at seeing the distinction between home and school.

I definitely agree when it comes to the classroom, etc. But my experience has been that when it comes to the nuttiness of a playground, all bets are off so to speak (especially for kindergarteners)








I think that saying 'no' to something like climbing up a slide (even when no one else is around) sets a kid up so that he has the best chance to be safe and successful whatever the environment.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *polka hop* 
No, I don't. I don't want my children to be creative or want to try new things, and I love nothing more than micromanaging their play. What other possible motivation could I have for telling my kid not to go up the slide?

Folks? Envision a world in which you aren't personally offended by the fact that other families have different rules than yours.

Polk hop? Envision a world that does not revolve around you.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena* 
I prefer to teach my kids to approach obstacles from many angles, telling them there is only one way up and one way down is, to me, like telling a kid to color in the lines.

I LOVE this! Thank you so much for saying this.

And we just do what most do....make sure we're not in the way and yield the "right of way" to those coming down.


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## lml41981 (Jun 14, 2006)

Yeah, I let my 22 month old climb up the slide and have been letting her do it since she was about 18 months old and realized it looked like a fun thing to do. It doesn't hurt anyone, it challenges her physically and it gives her a sense of accomplishment when she succeeds. We do tend to go to the playground during off-hours, though, because we don't particularly care for rowdy big kids who run her over...so she doesn't often have to share the slide.


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## Martha_2sons (Mar 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
For those of you who are getting the hairy eyeball, has it occurred to you that parents are being forced to keep their kids away from the slide while your child goes haywire on it?

What I was referring to is a parent who believes that I should enforce THEIR rules (to only go down on slides) on my child. My child does not go "haywire" on the slide and is respectful of the rule of not going up when others want to come down.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

Usually I let DD play as she pleases, though she is an incredibly considerate kid (she even thanks me for stopping to let pedestrians cross the street!







). But we have been on the playground when parents have not been paying attention to their older kidren, who were running "haywire" over the liitle kid structures and not showing any regard for the safety of others (pushing through clusters of smaller kids at the *top* of the slides!!!). At these times I have just asked DD to come down and brought her to play elsewhere . . . .and when she asks why, I explain that some kids aren;t being safe and are not watching out for one another. That's really the lesson, right.

For all of the parents here who let their kids play freely, especially the thinking, considerate parents who tend to frequent MDC, I'll bet these older careless kids aren't yours! But they are out there . . . . and I'll bet these are the kids who cause other mamas to limit the play of their little ones at public playgrounds to keep them safe.


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## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm with most on this one...we go up and down and all around, but watch out for others.

As for he "haywire" stuff...as I read it throughout this thread I thought of the "it takes a village" notion. In cases when we've been at the playground and their are children who aren't being particularly safe or considerate, my friends and I try to gently step in and guide them. I think it is great for them (our kids and the unsupervised ones) to see that the adults around them will step in when needed.

I also shadow my little ones when there are lots of kids around to make sure they feel safe and watched. With the tube slide, my kiddo wouldn't want to go down anyway unless he was sure it was clear and safe...but I might lead my kiddo over to other activities if there were kids playing inside. I remember being an older child and that's the kind of play they do at playgrounds. It's a tough one, but public playgrounds are for all children...not just little ones.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swampangel* 
I'm with most on this one...we go up and down and all around, but watch out for others.

As for he "haywire" stuff...as I read it throughout this thread I thought of the "it takes a village" notion. In cases when we've been at the playground and their are children who aren't being particularly safe or considerate, my friends and I try to gently step in and guide them. I think it is great for them (our kids and the unsupervised ones) to see that the adults around them will step in when needed.

I also shadow my little ones when there are lots of kids around to make sure they feel safe and watched. With the tube slide, my kiddo wouldn't want to go down anyway unless he was sure it was clear and safe...but I might lead my kiddo over to other activities if there were kids playing inside. I remember being an older child and that's the kind of play they do at playgrounds. It's a tough one, but public playgrounds are for all children...not just little ones.

Sorry but I don't monitor the tube slide to see if there are kids playing on it at all times. If they are clogging it they are completely out of my view, and certainly out of my 2 year old's view. I'm glad your kid is just so advanced that he makes sure it is "clear and safe". My son is obviously a dolt for not realizing this.







:


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## aries_mama (Sep 9, 2006)

Yup, as long as no one else is waiting at the top. My DD isn't a huge slide fan anyway, and especially if it's super-crowded, she'd usually rather watch the madness.


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## oliversmum2000 (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
No.

They can of course do anything they like on the playset in the back yard (and they frequently do







)

But I believe in teaching courtesy on a public playgrounds, and they are not allowed to use the slide in a manner that might be dangerous or inconvenient for others. Going up a slide certainly falls under that umbrella.

but surely the children going down the slide are also inconveniencing people, the ones who want to climb up!

i try to teach an awareness of other peoples feelings and to help them see if they need to give others a turn.


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

no.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

I go along with the majority on this one as well. My children are free to climb up the slide as long as there are no other children at the top trying to come down. Also, if I see a child eyeing the slide I will ask them if they want to go down and then will tell my children to hop off the slide to let the other child down. Like others I often hear other parents telling their children not to go up the slide, but then again I also often see parents take their children to a swimming creek and tell them not to get wet







:


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## PumpkinSeeds (Dec 19, 2001)

I thought all kids knew that if you were climbing up the slide and a little one wanted to come down you were supposed to put your feet to the sides and make a tunnel with your body.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

It seems to me that some parents are a bit too "hands off" at the playground . . . not actually teaching their kids these general rules of courtesy . . .and too busy gabbing with one another to actually mind their kids at the playground! Kids only know to yield to smaller ones coming down the slides if their parents help them to understand this. Haven't you seen the bigger kids who have said "but I was coming up first!" instead of moving out of the way . . and then the little kids move aside, then the big kid comes around again faster than the little kid can get back into position at the top and comes right back up the slide??!!! Kids often do what they darn well please, unless the adults are paying at least a *little* bit of attention.

I often step in when another child is putting my own at risk, but I would really appreciate it if their actual parent were paying attention, and not having their own "play date" with a friend at the same time!!!


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gretasmommy* 
It seems to me that some parents are a bit too "hands off" at the playground . . . not actually teaching their kids these general rules of courtesy . . .and too busy gabbing with one another to actually mind their kids at the playground!

I agree!

There was a recent discussion here where that sort of thing was discussed in pretty disparaging terms: "helicopter parenting"--hovering over the child as they tried to play. I was surprised, b/c it always seems like there's a good bit of need for adult "mediation" at the playgrounds we go to.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

When I was a kid, we used to walk down to the playground by ourselves, even as young as 5. I'm glad that isn't the case anymore, but I am not there to oversee my daughter's play. I'm there to make sure she is safe, and I feel that it's important to make sure there isn't any bullying going on. I do not at all consider it my job to make her play one way or another, nor do I feel I should be mediating between her and other children unless there's violence or bullying or something like that. I think learning how to negotiate with other children is an important part of play too. Also, it is important to me for my daughter to have a sense of autonomy. She isn't going to get that if I am taking care of every thing that comes up for her. Most things she can work out by herself. If she were behaving badly, I wouldn't start negotiating or getting involved; I'd simply take her home.

I've seen discussion about very young children on the playground - if there are very young children around I remind my daughter to watch out for them and be careful around them, and she does.


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## ambivamom (May 2, 2007)

I think of this issue developmentally....
For my two-year-old, and until about the age of 5 or so (depending on their ability to understand), I just say, "We go down the slide."

I think that until at least 5, they are too little to understand the "different rules for different situations."

When they are old enough, I think it is ok to say, "Go up the slide only when no other kids are on the slide."


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

ITA with both of the posters immediately above me. I am not there to micromanage my kids play nor to negotiate between them and other children. I want my kids to learn for themselves so aside from a little guidance when they are younger (learning about taking turns, keeping our hands to ourselves, etc) I prefer to let them learn how to negotiate playground obstacles. I really don't want to teach them that I will always be there to make sure things go perfectly for them because I won't.

Also, I try very hard not to judge moms who are at the park for a social outlet. Accusing them of not paying attention so they can be busy "gabbing" isn't really fair, who knows how many hours that mom goes without speaking to another adult. And a mom can also be not aware of what is going on if she is reading or even daydreaming. I don't feel the park should be a place where we should have to hover over our little ones incessantly.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Yeah. I don't get being upset with moms for having conversations with other adults while at the park. What's wrong with a mom visiting with a friend? We don't stop wanting to have adult conversations when we have kids.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

I think there's a lot of ground betw. micromanaging and not paying attention.

If kids are having trouble respecting other kids at the park (as people here have expressed--and not just in regards to politely going up the slide), then, in my opinion, they need some help. That doesn't seem that controversial to me!


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## riversong (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sheena* 
Also, I try very hard not to judge moms who are at the park for a social outlet. Accusing them of not paying attention so they can be busy "gabbing" isn't really fair, who knows how many hours that mom goes without speaking to another adult. And a mom can also be not aware of what is going on if she is reading or even daydreaming. I don't feel the park should be a place where we should have to hover over our little ones incessantly.

I go to the park with friends for a social outlet, but I also make sure to watch my dc. It's possible to do both, IMO. Most kids need some guidance from their parents so that they learn not to run over little kids or push others out of the way to get to the equipment they want. I have a very sensitive little girl who gets very upset when kids do this. I know she needs to learn that some kids are rougher than her, but it really bugs me when a parent is not paying attention to their very rough child.

Aside from bothering other kids, playgrounds can be dangerous. I cannot understand why so many parents in my city will be on the opposite side of the park from their kids in a spot where they can't even see them all the time. If I was an abductor, I could've easily walked off with young children many times at the park.


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## afishwithabike (Jun 8, 2005)

Absolutely, but I'm at the bottom of the slide in case anything were to go awry.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
Yeah. I don't get being upset with moms for having conversations with other adults while at the park. What's wrong with a mom visiting with a friend? We don't stop wanting to have adult conversations when we have kids.

no kidding!

This is another one of those threads that I can hardly believe is so controversial. It seems some peope get all hot under the collar for such petty reasons!
I visit with my friends (if I'm lucky to have some with me that day) and even *gasp* talk on the celphone sometimes at the park. Right now I'm with my kids pretty much 24/7 and I'm a single mom. If my kids are busy happily playng at the park, I like to take some mental space. It keeps me sane.
My kids go up the slide. *I* go up the slide. It's fun. Parks are meant to be fun. If my kids are being boorish, the fun isn't happening and the prupose of being there is defeated. So I intervene and guide them to more respectful, accountable behaviour. Pretty much the same way I do all the rest of the time







. And kids certainly do have the capacity to learn different codes of behaviour just as we all do---we behave differently in different circumstances. It's part of being human and last I checked, kids are human.


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkey's mom* 
I think there's a lot of ground betw. micromanaging and not paying attention.

If kids are having trouble respecting other kids at the park (as people here have expressed--and not just in regards to politely going up the slide), then, in my opinion, they need some help. That doesn't seem that controversial to me!









Exactly.


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## elizawill (Feb 11, 2007)

wow! 4 pages of slide talk!


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

I think the point of taking issue with moms "gabbing" was directly linked to there being problems with her kids and her not being available to help guide/teach/negotiate/intervene.

I'm sure none of us would begrudge another mom taking a breather provided her charges weren't creating problems for someone else.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

"Causing problems" is pretty subjective. If my daughter bullied someone, she'd go home. But depending on the "problem", I might not get involved regardless of whether I had a friend with me.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

I think if someone else is perceiving that my kid is "causing problems," I'm going to try to get involved at some level.

I think that was nicely illustrated in this thread--where even though many of us don't view climbing up the slide as an issue, we're trying to make sure to take other kids and parents into consideration and smooth things over so that everyone can play together.

Like I said, I'm coming from a perspective of generally being right there w/ the kids at the playground and witnessing some pretty "Lord of the Flies" type stuff.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I can't read minds. Someone else might be thinking my daughter is "causing problems" when all I see is her climbing up the slide. I only get involved if there is a serious disagreement to the point where someone might hit someone, or if there is a small child involved, and then I try to keep my involvement as minimal as possible. If my daughter is really causing problems, we just leave.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
I can't read minds. Someone else might be thinking my daughter is "causing problems" when all I see is her climbing up the slide. I only get involved if there is a serious disagreement to the point where someone might hit someone, or if there is a small child involved, and then I try to keep my involvement as minimal as possible. If my daughter is really causing problems, we just leave.

Well, none of us can read minds. But if a child is climbing up the slide and over a smaller child and one parent is trying to resolve the issue and looking around for the larger child's parent, and that mom is chatting on the phone..........then you might come to a message board and suggest that moms keep an eye on their kid instead of chatting on the phone.









Seriously, I don't know why a call for mindfulness and courtesy is that much of an issue.


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## malibusunny (Jul 29, 2003)

I voted no but I should have voted other.
I let him climb up his slide in his backyard.
I do not let him climb up the slide at the park. ever. even if we are the only people there. it has a blind corner and he could get really hurt without anyone knowing in time to stop it.
I say "up the ladder, down the slide" as a reminder. I do not tell him "no" or not to climb the slide, or physically stop him.
There are lots of things to climb on in the same sort of way at the park-- rope walls, rock walls, windy bars, etc. He doesn't need to climb on the slide.


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## malibusunny (Jul 29, 2003)

But, at the other park, there is a double wide slide, and it seems to be an unwritten rule that the kids climb up one side and slide down the other-- that I allow.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

I have to admit that when I am at the park I often have conversations with the other parents or DH. I often, gasp, let my children go to the park by themselves (it's right across the street from our home). Unless my children are hurting others (our family rule is no hurting/be nice) I try not to intervene. I am a firm believer in letting children sort things out among themselves and often they are very good at it! If children are playing on the slide and DD wants to go down, she just asks them to move so she can have a turn. If they don't move she goes on to something else while waiting for a turn--it's really not a big deal


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

Wow. How amazingly controversial a simple question became!!!!

Relax folks. I think most of us actually have similar expectations of our children, and I would bet that most of our children are not the ones that occasionally cause the kinds of problems I am talking about. I, too, talk and socialize at the playground, but I always have my eyes and ears open for my kids . . .and make sure they are neither causing nor having a problem. If they are, I move closer to check it out, and if appropriate, tell them to try and work it out first.

So, to clear the air, of course it's fine to be social at the playground. Just don't forget that you should be aware of your kids as well. Last summer I saw a big kid (9 or 10) push 5 y/o boy out of a sand box that he wanted to have all for himself. He was quite rough, and as a result the 5 y/o spent the next 6 weeks in a spica cast for his fractured femur. Nice. The mom of the bigger kid was no where in sight, and clearly this guy didn;t get the "be courteous and keep your hands off of the other kids" lesson, and needed some grown up intervention . . .but the 5 y/o paid the price. I think when some of us are suggesting parents keep an eye on their kids, it's this sort of extreme we are talking about (or at least, that's what I am talking about) . I'll bet the bigger kid didn't expect to really hurt the younger one, but he simply wanted his way and didn't realize how rough he was pushing him (his leg broke on the wooden side of the sand box).


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## Yaliina (Oct 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
No.

They can of course do anything they like on the playset in the back yard (and they frequently do







)

But I believe in teaching courtesy on a public playgrounds, and they are not allowed to use the slide in a manner that might be dangerous or inconvenient for others. Going up a slide certainly falls under that umbrella.









:

I totally see where a lot of people have the "what's the big deal" attitude- but my ds was WAY too young to understand safety, much less courtesy when he started being capable of climbing a slide (he's precocious), so I had to just nix it completely. And then I realized that I often had to run up and prevent him from sliding down because some other child was coming up the slide. I hate it when my kid follows the rules and is taking his turn, and then he has to wait for another child who is going the wrong way & out of turn.


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## gridley13 (Sep 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MtBikeLover* 
As long as no one is trying to go down, I see no issue with letting them climb up the slide.

Ditto


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## WuWei (Oct 16, 2005)

I chose "other". Yes, up and down the slide, with info about what might happen if someone comes down and he is going up. And I help to point out when folks are waiting to use the slide and want to have a turn. He is courteous and shares, and I see no reason to _direct his freeplay_ on the playground slide, when he can observe that others want a turn and he yields it.









Pat


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## beckington (Mar 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MtBikeLover* 
As long as no one is trying to go down, I see no issue with letting them climb up the slide.









:


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## AKmoose (Jul 25, 2003)

When we are at a play area by ourselves, it's fair game. If there are other kids using the slide, I don't permit climbing up...I think it's an invitation for injury, fights, etc...


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Going down has the right of way.

But, if nobody is going down, they are more than welcome to go up. I think it's a good skill, and it offers a bit of a challenge.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Quote:

I think climbing up a slide is part of being a kid. If there are others wanting to go down, than I don't let G climb up, but I don't see anything wrong with it.
Absolutly!
My friend is big on going up as a 'no no!'...but I just think thats so silly, whats the big deal as long as they are safe and no one is wanting to come down (taking turns and all!)


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

*I hate it when my kid follows the rules and is taking his turn, and then he has to wait for another child who is going the wrong way & out of turn.* [/QUOTE]

But those are YOUR rules, not THE rules.

Just because another family does it different doesn't mean they are doing it the "Wrong Way" or out of turn.


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## meisterfrau (Sep 24, 2005)

I don't let DD do this right now, because frankly I think she lacks the gross motor skills to do it without possibly hurting herself and I am too hugely pregnant to properly spot her. It goes without saying (to me) that if another kid is waiting to use the slide, then I'd encourage her to get off and let the other kid have his/her turn.

But really, you've gotta love the internet. MDC: Where ANYTHING can turn into an argument!


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Whoa! This is still going on?!









Well, shortly after I posted this, we had a "no no" slide run-in.









We were at the park in the toddler section. Dd (2yo) was climbing up the slide and I was spotting her. It is a side by side slide, so there was another slide to use right next to it. A little boy about the same age comes to the end of the slide and starts pointing at dd. His mother starts saying...over and over, "oh no adam, that's right. She's not being safe. We don't climb up the slides at school. That is a no no. She shouldn't be doing that should she. She isn't being safe is she?" I was literally standing 2 feet away from this woman as she's saying this. I was livid.







Unfortunately, everything in my GD body wanted to pummel her.








One, we weren't at a school. Two, the little boy didn't want to go down the slide and dd wasn't blocking it anyway...and three she passive aggressively told my daughter that I was not keeping her safe and letting do something that would cause her harm. Grrrrr...

Quote:

I hate it when my kid follows the rules and is taking his turn, and then he has to wait for another child who is going the wrong way & out of turn.

Quote:

But those are YOUR rules, not THE rules.

Just because another family does it different doesn't mean they are doing it the "Wrong Way" or out of turn.








ITA!


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

It depends. I think of up-the-slide as requiring more parental responsibility and more kid flexibility. 1) It's okay only when kids are not wanting to go down. IOW, down-sliders get dibs, because down-sliding is fast, and climbing up, at least for DD, is slow. And by this I mean that I will actually move DD or ask her to go down if I see a kid even lurking at the top. 2) It's okay only on certain slides. I would never let her go up a tube slide because the visibility isn't great. A twisty, long slide might have the same trouble.

At home, she is free to climb our slide all she wants.

I guess I'd say "Up the slide is okay only if you're being a helicopter parent"







(at least at my kid's age, and even when they're older, I notice kids tend to be oblivious to the needs of littles). And everyone has scorn for us helicopters, so hmm.


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## glowan1 (Feb 21, 2007)

This thread made me chuckle. Earlier this summer, I made a conscious decision to allow DD to climb the slide. That may sound weird, but I did. I throw my hat in the "I want my child to approach issues/problems/whatever from different angles" camp. Yes, I hover more than some parents. But I also pay attention to my kid and don't yell at my kid from across the park. I gently redirect her. I especially hover when the 10 yos basically climb over her on the ropes where she has been playing for 5 minutes and they run over and scramble around before I can pry her little fingers off.

Kids can get hurt at the park even when they are the only kid and mom, or other, is hovering. It is part of the territory.

DD is very smart and very able to discern between home rules and daycare rules even at 2. Does she make the right choices 100% of the time? No, but then who does?


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## Synchro246 (Aug 8, 2005)

I don't have any "park rules" other than being consciencious of other playground patrons









oh, and no littering


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## jellop (Dec 11, 2006)

I'm fine with kids climbing up the slide, as long as it's a "safe" slide for climbing up, everyone gets along and takes turns, and kids who want to go down the slide get first priority - everyone moves outta the way and lets them go when they want.

We were at a local fast food joint







: with some friends recently, eating inside where they have a "play area". There were also several other families there, and tons of kids playing together. A lot of the kids were taking turns going up the slide. If someone wanted to go down the slide, they all moved and let the child go down, then they resumed playing. There was NO fighting, NO arguing, NO parent involvement (beyond us all just watching them have fun). All these kids were between the ages of 18 months and 6 yrs old, and they all got along and played together amazingly well!

About 15 minutes into it, another family showed up, and their child ran in to join the fun, but when she went to climb up the slide, they piped in and told her, "No, slides are for going down only, not climbing up." in a very directive tone which was really aimed at all the children there.







: It became uncomfortable, children started bickering, and soon after, we left.


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
No.

They can of course do anything they like on the playset in the back yard (and they frequently do







)

But I believe in teaching courtesy on a public playgrounds, and they are not allowed to use the slide in a manner that might be dangerous or inconvenient for others. Going up a slide certainly falls under that umbrella.









:


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## angel_miette (Jul 25, 2007)

I remember when I was a kid at recess (sp?) the playground supervisors would yell at us if we walked up the slides and this used to make me frustrated because I was one of the playground monkeys.








So now I actually encourage my 6 year old daughter to climb whatever however she wants at the playground when she's with me. If it seems unsafe I just tell her to let me be around so I can spot her if she slips. I'm sure some of the parents are mad about it, but so what. At least my kid can be free in her fun and I make sure she is safe, so there is no harm in it. I'm also one of those parents running around on the playground with my daughter instead of sitting there chatting with the other adults. It makes me feel like a kid again and it's so fun. I even played with the kids on the playground when I had a job as a teachers assistant, and they loved that I played with them... Of course I made the teacher jealous cause the kids liked me over her so I no longer have that job.









Angel Miette


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## nonnymommy (May 15, 2004)

I let them when they are the only ones playing on it. Otherwise it does create a bit of a danger.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

James is afraid of going down the slide (not sure why) but he will happily climb up it just a wee bit, never out of my reach.

If no one else is trying to go down the slide I see no issue in letting him. I have also gotten the hairy eyeball.

One woman...her DD was attempting to follow James up the slide. Her mother promply came over and YANKED her off the slide and said "Do NOT climb up the slide. You only go down on your bottom." or something to that effect. Then she looked at me like she expected me to do the same thing to James. I asked if her DD wanted to slide down the slide? and she said "No, she was only climbing up it because YOU are allowing him to do it." WTF-ever lady. I said "Okey...if she wants to go down I'll move him, it's no problem." and she just huffed off.

I let James so long as there aren't other kids wanting to go down/the park isn't busy. Typically it's pretty dead, only 2 or 3 kids there if that. So I don't worry about it.


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## Terrilein (Jan 9, 2007)

I voted:

Yes, as long as they are not keeping others from using the slide and are safe.

even though I suffered a neck injury as a child from climbing up the slide. I figure mine was just a freak accident and I shouldn't stop dd from doing something that I know is fun, especially when all the kids are doing it. It's such a fun challenge, and I don't see why I should make her stand aside to only watch and yearn just because I got hurt once. Same would go for climbing trees. Somebody somewhere is going to fall and break an arm, but it doesn't happen to every kid everytime.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

Climb away! Experiment! Have fun!
I've never thought not to let them climb the slide....though I do teach them to respect the others around them, if someone else wants to slide down, well, just find something else to climb...
We try not to frequent the playgrounds during the busy times (unless we're in another country and I want my kids to meet and play with some local children) but here at home, I'm just not great with the 'playground ettiquette, nor is DH, so we'll take them at dusk, or when it's raining. So usually it's just us and a handful of older kids, and they all climb the slide...


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## SpiralWoman (Jul 2, 2002)

this is why I







MDC! A bunch of impassioned mamas intelligently argueing their cases with reason & vigor!

Here's my 2cents:

up & down: babies/kids of all ages will naturally try to climb up a slide, the natural rule being that gravity has the right of way.







When DS was too young to understand that another kid was coming down, he was too young to be on the slide by himself, I was appropri-hovering to take him off & tell him why.

Misc slide usage: If kids are obviously in line to go down the slide, then somebody going up is cutting line. If big kids are using the tube slide as a club house, they need to be nice to the baby & let the baby get thru.

bigkid/little kid: If big(ger) kids are being reckless with little kids, I don't ignore or retreat, but always ask them to watch out & take care with the little ones. Sometimes they look at me like it's a brand new concept, but it makes them think. Now that my DS is a bigger kid, it's his turn to take care & I watch him closely when toddlers abound. Again, the appropri-hover.

Talking with other moms/on cell phone on the playground: well hell yeah. I'm not there to climb the slide.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
His mother starts saying...over and over, "oh no adam, that's right. She's not being safe. We don't climb up the slides at school. That is a no no. She shouldn't be doing that should she. She isn't being safe is she?"

Perhaps that mama should have been reminded of the "not nice to talk about other people as if they don't have ears" rule.









~Maria







:


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## ejbamommy (Sep 12, 2007)

i let my kids as long as they aren't preventing another child from using the slide. if the playground is busy i try to point them in the direction of the steps to go to the top of the slide, but if there aren't many kids or kids in the area of the slide then i just let them climb up the slide as long as they are safe.


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## ^guest^ (Jul 2, 2005)

My dd can go up or down so long as she's not clogging the tubes, as it were. Well, at least in my presence. DH does NOT like seeing her climbing up because apparently a friend of his broke his arm falling off the slide while climbing up or something. I've explained to him that she could potentially break her arm using any kind of playground equipment the way it was intended to be used, and as I and generations of other children have climbed up slides, jumped off swings, or done things on monkey bars that now make my stomach churn, I don't see a problem with it -- but if it makes HIM uncomfortable, I will redirect her to go down the slide in his presence.

DD is 2.5 now and has gotten pretty good about taking turns and only climbing up unoccupied slides (the playground here has like 6 slides, so there's always one that's not in use)

Frankly I'm more afraid of stairs than slides. I ripped every tendon in my right ankle (save for my Achilles' tendon, fortunately) by falling off those tiny flights of stairs on playground structures. Actually, I think I fear mostly for MYSELF while at the park or play places than DD. She's resilient and agile and has never been more than scratched or bumped. I, on the other hand, am prone to severe injury, lol.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

No, they are not for going up. My son gave some kid a bloody nose because it was a spiral slide and he didn't see it. It is rude to the people wanting to go down the slide to have to deal with a person going up. I don't let my kids do it even when alone because they don't need to be getting in the habit of it.


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## momma-d (Feb 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hubris* 
Up, down, it's all good.









Saying "we don't climb up the slide" seems like a pretty nice way to teach kids not to experiment. How limiting! Assuming there isn't already somebody coming down it, WHY NOT climb up the slide?

yup.


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## mommy_e (Feb 15, 2006)

I voted other because we really don't have a rule. I encourage going down, but since DC (4yo) is fairly timid about slides we haven't had much experience with going up.

That said, I thought of this thread today at the playground when the above referenced DC was playing on the relatively empty play structure. He was just working up the courage to go down, sat down and looked over to me. I smiled to encourage him and just at that moment 5 older kids (6-8) years come running up and start climbing up the slide. DC hightailed it out of there and didn't go near the slide again. Of course the parents come strolling up chatting over their Starbucks and completely oblivious as their kids proceed to run roughshod over the three LOs already there.







:

Don't know where that puts me. I really don't have a problem with going up the slide in general, but it does seem that the rules that need to go along with that (no climbing up when someone is coming down, waiting for turns, understanding that younger kids sometimes need more space, etc.) are subtle and not easily internalized by kids who are of the age to use a slide. I have seen many kids patiently waiting at the top of a slide for their turn while other kids climb up and down over and over. I think it's the parents, not the rule, that is the problem, though.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
I am constantly seeing parents snagging their kids off the middle of the slide, on the way up







, saying, "we do not climb up the slide". There isn't usually anyone else playing on the slide, so maybe it is for my "hearing range" benefit?







I don't know, just wondering.









Ha! I see/hear that a lot around here too. I don't get it. I've never had a problem with DD climbing up the slide if she wants to. Obviously before she was old enough to safely do it, I helped her if she REALLY showed interest in doing it that way. I don't see the big deal either. Some parents over-parent.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Somewhere I have a picture of my then 3 year old with a nasty black eye that happened when a bigger than her boy (maybe 5ish) trampled her climbing up the slide, while there are a million ways this could have happened. it did he felt bad realy bad because he slipped and my DD happened to run under him..
In general no. Slides are not designed in general to be climbed lots of injuries happen I see it all the time. So we have a slide down use stairs. Now depending on the sitaution if were at a priviate slide a place where shes alone and now that shes older and can clearly see the diffrence between being alone and with others I'm a bit more relaxed and places where one HAS to climb the slide to et to diffrent levels then of course thats diffrent.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ks Mama* 
Ha! I see/hear that a lot around here too. I don't get it. I've never had a problem with DD climbing up the slide if she wants to. Obviously before she was old enough to safely do it, I helped her if she REALLY showed interest in doing it that way. I don't see the big deal either. Some parents over-parent.

I'm one of the most layed back parents when it comes to "park" play I'm also one that will not allow climbing up. I will go take my child off and say no climbing use the stairs because its our rule and its not so others can hear our rules.


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PumpkinSeeds* 
I thought all kids knew that if you were climbing up the slide and a little one wanted to come down you were supposed to put your feet to the sides and make a tunnel with your body.









Okay you know my feelign from the past few posts but this did make me chuckle







.. Though when its a 3 year old climbing up and a 10 year old comming down...







:


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## Aeress (Jan 25, 2005)

I believe all parks should have an "upslide" and a "downslide" marked with arrows. At our favorite park, there are multiple slides, so I ask the girls to use one as an up only and the others as down. Of course, if there are alot of children there, we find upslides to cause more confusion so then we only go down.

We don't slide head first on slides due to head injury concerns but really, that is the only "rule."


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## juju's mom (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
For those of you who are getting the hairy eyeball, has it occurred to you that parents are being forced to keep their kids away from the slide while your child goes haywire on it?

Haywire? As long as nobody else is using the slide my dd likes to go UP the slide and I have NEVER seen her go HAYWIRE!







:


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## charmander (Dec 30, 2003)

I think I started this very same post about a year ago (although I didn't have a poll in mine)!

It was because I got dirty looks from a mama who saw my child walking up the slide, and she said _very loudly_ so I'd be sure to get the point, to her daughter " Slides are for going down, NOT up." There were two slides next to each other, and so my daughter wasn't blocking this other girl from using a slide or anything.

I was thinking WTF? - but I ignored her. I let my child play almost any way she wants to at the park unless she is in immediate danger or is preventing other kids from playing. And that means climbing on things, and up things, and using the equipment any dang well she pleases (within reason).

Also, I just hate having to force so many rules on a small child. They're going to be restricted in so many ways when they are grown up - why not let childhood play be free and unencumbered if at all possible??


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## phoenixmama (Jul 13, 2007)

I voted no, and just wanted to add something for the mamas who say, "I don't let my child climb up the slide if it is preventing another child from playing." Here's my problem with this logic. My daughter, who is 2.5 years old is very laid back...she isn't likely to show that she wants to go down the slide if someone else is on it using it the "wrong way". To other park patrons...she would look as if she isn't interested in the slide while their child is climbing up the slide over and over. However, *I* can see that sad little look in her eye when all she wants to do is try the slide, but is unsure of the child using the slide "the other way". And she starts twirling her hair (she does this when she is anxious). She NEVER gets this look when other children are going up the stairs, or up the rock-climbing wall part to get to the slide where they get to go down. She will just go up to the slide and take her turn going down at this point. Do not assume that another child doesn't want to use the slide just because they aren't standing there waiting...they may just be cautious like my little one. There have been numerous times that I have had to go up to another child to say, "Excuse me, may my daughter take a turn going down the slide?" This is why I do not let my child go up the slide. There are many other ways to go up...the stairs, the ladder, the rock climbing wall, etc.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phoenixmama* 
There have been numerous times that I have had to go up to another child to say, "Excuse me, may my daughter take a turn going down the slide?" This is why I do not let my child go up the slide.

You seem to see this (speaking up in your dd's behalf) as a tragic thing -- but I actually see it as very pro-active, and great modeling for your dd on how to assertively pursue the things she wants. If no one ever climbed up the slide, that'd be one less growth opportunity for your dd and for children everywhere.

I forsee a time when your dd will be more verbal, and, thanks to your example, she'll know she has more options than looking sad and twirling her hair, when confronted with frustrating circumstances.

There's a reason children have parents, and I think the above example is one of them. My 2 1/2 yo also needs active parenting at the park -- but I don't see it as tragic, I see it as an investment in her future.

And yes, I let my children go up the slide, while helping them to stay safe and to consider the feelings and safety of others.


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## lizabird (Jan 19, 2004)

I think this is a great question. So often I see parents at the playground scolding their kids from climbing up the slide. I personally come to the playground for ds to play, climb, slide, run, scream, etc., and if he wants to climb up the slide, that's quite okay with me. I do encourage him to let the kid coming down go first, though, and then they usually climb back up together.


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