# How the heck do you guys cosleep and still have sex?!



## mommysusie (Oct 19, 2006)

Please give me some tips. My 2 month old will not sleep anywhere else except with us. I have tried to get him to go to sleep and then just lay him in his crib for just an hour so I can have some time with DH but my little guy is not having it. As soon as he feels that he is in the crib and not our bed he wakes up.
I'm not into having sex in the bathroom, so tell me, how do you guys do it....literally!







:


----------



## Pilgrim (Dec 12, 2004)

Well, we have a "guest bedroom." Plus sofas & other rooms too. And then you have to take advantage of naptime opportunities too! (We always like naptimes better than night time because we are both less tired.)


----------



## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Is your bed the only place to hoochie?

Cosleeping made our sex life 10x better - it's amazing how creative one can be when the bed is occupied...


----------



## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

my son was like that too, he got better at about 3 months. I could put him down for about 2 hours at a time at night and make the most of that time. We made the "guest bedroom" our room. Now, Grey's got ESP again and wakes up if I'm out of the bed at night even to go the the bathroom so since he's almost 3 there is the luxury of Blues Clues and Sesame Street...one video will buy you 40 minutes!







:


----------



## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

We have a fold-out in the living room.


----------



## Jenlaana (Oct 28, 2005)

I have a 12 yr old who wanders at odd hours (i.e. pops into the living room at midnight to say "I cant sleep") so randomly screwing around the house just doesnt work for us.

I could never put DD into a crib either. Something about being held out so far from a solid surface (mom/dad/bed/etc) always made her freak out and wake up (I guess it would freak me out too to feel suspended in mid air







)

When she was too small to know what was going on, we just put her in a safe spot near us and if she was asleep it didn't bother us (this did take some adjustment though admittedly) Once she got older and was more easily disturbed, we got her her own bed in our room. She's still in there, but she sleeps well enough now at 2 yrs old that as long as she's seperated from us enough not to bounce her around, she wont wake up. If she had her own room (we're remodeling and short a few rooms atm) we'd put her in there to start, and I'd just lay with her. Now she spends about half the night in her bed and climbs in with us/cries for us to come get her whenever she's ready. It gives us snuggle time with eachother and we still get to spend close time with her.

I think cribs are inherently difficult to put a sleeping baby into. Have you tried just making your babe a pallet on the floor and then laying with her as she falls asleep? You can always bring her in with you afterwards.


----------



## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Guest room and naptime. Seriously, though, good for you--at 2 mo we were both so tired that was the last thing on our minds!


----------



## DisplacedYooper (Aug 10, 2007)

If Ben's happily asleep, same bed. Unless we're looking for some variety...







Same bed also makes it easier to take a quick break to nurse him back to sleep if he starts stirring.

Your baby was much closer/more involved when you had sex pregnant, so I guess it wasn't a big leap for us in the early days, and as he's gotten older, we're still not bothered. I imagine the day will come where that will change though.


----------



## mamamarley (Jul 24, 2007)

We all sleep on a queen-sized air bed. (Logistics of getting a regular bed into our upstairs were just unbelievable - we would've had to rig up a hoist outside! - so we went with inflatable, far far easier.) It's kinda like being on a waterbed when it's not fully inflated, so at times we have to work hard at not waking up 4.5-mo-old dd when we so much as twitch or scratch an ear... So, we have a bit of a complex situation, too. Our solution - nurse dd to sleep - deep, deeeeep sleep - then we creep out of bed to the floor, throw down some blankets and a pillow or two, and get down to business. Provided we creep out of bed when she's truly asleep and keep quiet, we usually have about 30 min or so.

When she was younger, she slept a little more deeply, and we could occasionally get her sleeping deeply on one side of the bed, make a kind of border with blankets and pillows, and have the other side of the bed to ourselves, provided we weren't too, um, enthusiastic.

Good luck!


----------



## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2bja* 
Is your bed the only place to hoochie?

Cosleeping made our sex life 10x better - it's amazing how creative one can be when the bed is occupied...

















Exactly us as well. Umm, the bedroom floor sees some action, while DD2 is sleeping in the bed, there is the couch, the futon, and many other places...


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

At 2 months we put some pillows next to dd (between us and her) and went for it









-Angela


----------



## SublimeBirthGirl (Sep 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
At 2 months we put some pillows next to dd (between us and her) and went for it









-Angela

Yeah, us too. We don't have a lot of sex. Perhaps when I'm through breastfeeding. I'm rarely in the mood.


----------



## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

We have a bassinet RIGHT next to the bed, and we do a transfer once DS is sleeping.

We are also going to buy a foamie next pay period and keep it rolled up in the living room so we can have "adult time" in front of the fireplace.


----------



## WannabeaFarmer (Jul 7, 2006)

We always nursed down, let DD sunggle for 30 minutes. Then transfer her to a co-sleeper that was flush against our bed. If we wanted to be umm more vocal we left the room,but otherwise we styed in our own bed. DD aslways transfered easliy for us(unless she was sick, teething etc...).


----------



## happymomma (Jun 27, 2004)

Co sleeping did change our sex life, thats for sure. It made it COME ALIVE. Think outside the box mama.


----------



## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

ds often napped on the couch. We have a crib attached cosleeper style to our bed as well that he sometimes sleeps in or at least will sleep in long enough to get things accomplished.


----------



## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

Other places in the house...


----------



## jennybean0722 (Jun 19, 2006)

I'll be honest (not that y'all aren't!), but our sex life got better after our little one got his own bed. He just wasn't a great co-sleeper; he slept with us until around 11 months, then he got his own bed/crib (I still hate cribs!). But, he slept better!!! And so did we. When he slept with us, he did what I called the "alligator death roll". He turned and turned for hours on end and could never get comfy between us.

Anywho, b/c we all slept better, we had more energy








and it got way better for us.


----------



## keriberry (May 27, 2007)

Well, after 4 years of co-sleeping the springs in the center cushion of our couch are shot. The kitchen table is a little wobbly. There's a sleeping bag near the fireplace. My hubby "helps" me do the laundry.

It's fun to sneak around. We also did it in our own bed when our high need baby refused to let me leave the room without waking. It's not wierd to me, at all.


----------



## lacysmommy (Nov 10, 2004)

Well since we have had a houseguest in our home nearly every night for almost a year, we don't have many options open to us, either. We have two in our bed. We usually just wait till they're asleep and do it on a blanket on the floor. Or in the bathroom.


----------



## lachingona1 (May 16, 2007)

We co sleep with our 3 y/o and a 2 month old. We move the kids over and find a small spot on the bed or some where else in the house.
Nap time used to work but my DH works swing shift so he's not home.
Plus I'm never in the mood!


----------



## tammyswanson (Feb 19, 2007)

Try the stairs...if you have carpeted steps.







Or the washing machine is real nice too, you can even have it running for 'extra' fun!


----------



## AlpineMama (Aug 16, 2007)

Erm, well when he was tiny and didn't want to be out of arm's reach, we did it next to him when he was fast asleep. Quickly and quietly.







I felt better when he was on top of the comforter and we were under it, kind of like a tent.

When he got a bit older he started sleeping in the co-sleeper which just increased the privacy, and now he sleeps in the Pack and Play most of the time. If it's during the day, and he's awake, I'll put him in his crib (only used for playtime) in the other room and he will play there for a few minutes while we have privacy.

We can't really do it anywhere else in the house. It's a tiny apartment and the living room couches aren't conducive to the purpose.







(They're very narrow.) There really isn't anywhere else to do it unless we were to do it on the floor in the nursery, which would feel a little weird, with all the stuffed animals and Bambi posters everywhere.


----------



## whozeyermamma (Oct 11, 2007)

Just had to chime in on this one:

The couch and the rug make me feel like I'm 19 again, which is fun.







The shower, on the toilet with the seat down.

One night we actually did it in the playroom - with all the stuffed animals, toys and crap.

I have a hard time if she's actually awake and watching a show - but that works too.

We actually get lucky sometimes - DH works some odd hours and we can steal some time in the AM while DD is in school. In bed. As loud as we want! Yay!


----------



## mighty-mama (Sep 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2bja* 
Is your bed the only place to hoochie?

Cosleeping made our sex life 10x better - it's amazing how creative one can be when the bed is occupied...









I agree, that's how my new babe was conceived


----------



## pacificbliss (Jun 17, 2006)

Let's see, there were other rooms in the house or, especially at 2 months, the bed next to baby...he didn't wake up. I think the noise and motion helped him sleep


----------



## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
At 2 months we put some pillows next to dd (between us and her) and went for it









-Angela

Yep. That's how we do it.


----------



## seoul_mama (Jul 10, 2007)

the guest bedroom, which has now become "the room"









(earthgirl, if you ever read this post, know that we wash the sheets since you've stayed in "the room" before)


----------



## Momma_Camille (Jan 11, 2007)

I can't believe how many other people have the same kind of "guest room" as us!









The rest of the house is nice too







:


----------



## gaudynight (Sep 10, 2007)

Yeah, the guest room. Or the couch. Our dds sleep pretty soundly once they're asleep but we take the baby monitor just in case. They've never woken up.


----------



## raelize (Jun 17, 2006)

yes, you almost feel like you are back in high school having to sneak around and find time








it definatly helped.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happymomma* 
Co sleeping did change our sex life, thats for sure. It made it COME ALIVE. Think outside the box mama.


----------



## two bricks shy (Oct 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rachel_eva* 
yes, you almost feel like you are back in high school having to sneak around and find time








it definatly helped.

us too
we don't get to as much as we want but when we do


----------



## mountainsun (Jan 11, 2005)

couch and floor (and baby monitors) ~ it almost feels weird to me when we do it in bed


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

kitchen table?









I can see there are ALOT of responses so I look forward to reading them!

I actually enjoy what co-sleeping does to my sex life, because it has forced me to get out of the box....honestly, when dh and I only DTD in bed, before sleep (or in the morning) I was totally bored.

Talk about a way to spice up a sex life!!!!









Yea Cosleeping!


----------



## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Reason number sixty nine to get a king size bed. Foam, by preference.


----------



## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

We DO have a king-size bed (the kind that doesn't "bounce") so we scoot the kids over and have our "quickies" in bed so if DD wakes a little I can just reach out and touch her until she goes back to sleep (not weird for me a BIT!!)...for more...*ahem* lengthy rendevous, we get on the floor...or go into the living room on the couch...or the laundry room (which is right next to our bedroom door so we can still hear the babes)

We've also gotten really used to "time-outs" when the kids wake up and we have to "stop" for anywhere from 3-20 minutes....then we jump right back in!!!

We've gotta laugh about the times that it's just not happening (DD wakes up, goes back to sleep, we start, DS#2 comes in, goes to sleep, we restart, DD wakes up, etc) and we both have to go to bed all grumpy and interrupted....


----------



## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

The couch

The counter

another bedroom

you get where I am going with this right?


----------



## crwilson (Mar 13, 2007)

I don't think that location was so much a problem for us as getting dd to stay asleep without our presence. Honestly, we just didn't do it much for the first six months. When we did, we usually put her in her bouncy seat in a nearby room with one of her toys, and then felt guilty the whole time for leaving her alone. Now she sleeps more soundly and will stay asleep by herself, so we can go other places, but that just wasn't feasible when she was really little.


----------



## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

When the boys were little and we had TWO in the bed, we still got some adult time in on the other side of the bed, or me on the bed and him not on the bed. The floor got some serious action around here, too.


----------



## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

We occasionally sneak one in if the kids are in the other bedroom playing.


----------



## smallmama (Dec 6, 2006)

Location was less a problem than the fact that he would wake up if there wasn't a warm body to press up next to. When he was little, we made the most of naps he took in the swing.


----------



## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

With a 14yo and a 10yo as well as a toddler and a baby the bed is the only safe place in our house! Just do it!


----------



## Mommiska (Jan 3, 2002)

We did the guest room thing as well...also the couch in the living room.

But I do think that co-sleeping made it harder...with a small baby we were both just so tired, that needing to be 'creative' meant we were more likely to just not bother...(sigh)

But it's such a short period of their life,when they are small...and it's worth what I found to be the extra hassle (of course, that's not everyone's experience, as you can read here!)...


----------



## munkeesmama (May 17, 2005)

Floors, couches, you get the idea. Also, our kids liked the swing, so I'd nurse and then put them in the swing and we'd have a good 2 hours or so.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I just decided-EVERY co sleeper needs a chair/loveseat in their bedroom! Find room!









I have an armchair in my room...although its usually full of junk.

I could do that "sexy push everything on the floor in the heat of passion" thing though.


----------



## cheygirl (Jun 13, 2006)

We use the guest bedroom. And the sofa downstairs. And the bathroom.

DH suddenly had a meltdown about a month ago and woke me up in the middle of the night to announce that we had to stop cosleeping because it was destroying our sex life. I told him he'd have a nasty surprise if we forced DD into her own room, cuz he'd find me exhausted and resentful of him, and there wouldn't be much more sex either. Because it's not cosleeping that gets in the way of a sex life, it's the baby, LOL. Anyhoo he doesn't really buy it but is going along with the cosleeping for now.

That being said, it would be nice to have our bed back for sex purposes. Looking forward to that, someday.


----------



## alaskaberry (Dec 29, 2006)

*on the couch
*on the floor

&Etc. The bed may be the most comfy, but it's not the only place to "do it"!


----------



## 13moons (Aug 9, 2002)

The floor, the couch, and the kitchen table were our places of choice. Now we've had our bed to ourselves for about a year and it's still a novelty.


----------



## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

naps, and we use either the empty bed as ds naps on the futon in the lounge, or the futon if hes in bed at night. I need a bed for support, I have bad knees and dh has a bad back, but others are more creative with where they dtd.


----------



## doulajewla (Mar 1, 2005)

You know dh and I were talking about this very thing for the past 2 years. ALL of our children sleep in our room. Not necessarily in our bed, but 3 out of 4 sleep on the floor in sleeping bags and one actually sleeps in a laundry basket she made into her own "nest". THe baby (lol shes 2) sleeps in the bed with us. We wanted OUR bed....and it was frustrating because for 8 months this past year we had my MIL live with us and she occupied the living room. SO there was no where to go where she couldnt hear us unless we were in our room with the tv on lol. So we got creative a few times and tacked up a sheet around our bed that went floor to ceiling. It was kind of fun sneaking this way but we felt a little funny about it. Funny how our culture is. In some countries they all eat sleep and make love in the same room as everyone else in their family. The kids have never seen or heard us...so now since my MIL moved out we are in the living room once the kids fall asleep in our bed. But lately my ds has been having problems going to sleep at any hour BEFORE midnight lol and comes downstairs before we even get to kiss lol. So needless to say we havent been getting any the last week or so lol. Its a phase, ds has been through this phase MANY times before and eventually it passes. Late at night we feel too tired most times....I guess if we clean out our walk in closet we could put a small bed in there and put the doors back on lol....we could always do that! but it is fun to get creative and go everywhere in the house! it was funny, when MIL moved out, the first thing we did when the kids went to bed that night was walk around the living room naked!!!







we were just so happy to have our living room back!


----------



## MidgeMommy (Mar 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
Reason number sixty nine to get a king size bed. Foam, by preference.

God yes. California King, if you're tall.









I recommend the ikea beds that are in two peices; you can bounce all you want on one side and it doesn't wake/shake the baby side. And you can get memory foam toppers. Mmmmmm.


----------



## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

We have a pullout in the living room, a futon in the guest room, and a living room floor, kitchen counters....TMI?







I usually go to t bed with DS, he nurses to sleep while I read and then I leave for a little bit, and make it back just as he is waking up....


----------



## sapientia (Apr 22, 2007)

The biggest issue with us when the kids were babies wasn't where to find a place(we were creative like many of you!) was that the kids were super psychic-infants and all we had to do was LOOK at each other with a come-hither face and someone woke up. Didn't matter what time day or night, lol!


----------



## Jillie (May 24, 2005)

We aren't very creative, but having the kids in the same room (asleep!) never really bothered us. Best to use the first 2 hours after everyone falls asleep though, better chance that they will NOT wake up. After that all bets are off and we will likely be inturuped.


----------



## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Here's a Mothering article that might be of interest


----------



## grassisgreener1334 (Nov 24, 2006)

We don't actually have sex, typically







It's not a top priority for us these days, though, so it's not a big deal. When we do feel the urge to be together, we wait until he's asleep and then shimmy on over to the other side of the bed (we have a king size).


----------



## BeanyMama (Jul 25, 2006)

My Mother has asked me this question at least 5 times. WHERE? Very awkward.

Usually the couch, floor, shower or counter. DS2 was conceived on the patio, DC3 in a walk in closet, at my Mom's ironicly.


----------



## meesa143 (Jul 3, 2007)

I agree with the naps thing. That's the only time I have any sort of energy.


----------



## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

OP, I don't know.

But then, I haven't been all that interested since my second baby was born.

We cosleep, and my daughters refuse, for the most part, to nap at the same time.

My husband has now worked 3 weeks straight, and his next day off is estimated to be NEVER.

He's tired, but still horny, as he told me two nights ago (thanks for the romance, honey).

Apparently, according to him, we haven't for a month and a half.

I can't believe he's keeping track, but he said he's not, just guessing.


----------



## TerraNoelle (Oct 9, 2007)

I've gotten some great ideas from you gals!

For us:
When he DS [now 11 months] was newborn/small...he was in the bassinet right next to our bed or in the bed....
That was fine until around 6 months when he popped up one night look at us and started crying....









Typically though we are "morning" or "afternoon" people...
So thank God for Elmo's World DVD's....I put DS in the Pack and play with toys and the DVD going and we have 50 minutes!! LOL


----------



## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

Yes, naptimes or sleep times here....though it is quite hard as dh takes the bus to work very early and is quite tired by the time he gets home. We usually take advantage of the couch, floor, or recliner .... We do have a date night once a week where my parents will watch ds. I have noticed it's harder to get pregnant with such limited oppertunities lol.


----------



## granola_mom (Jun 11, 2007)

For the first little while we just did it quietly beside her, or we'd try to put her to sleep somewhere else while we had sex. We tried doing it in other places, but I find the floor just too uncomfortable and furniture is just restricting... I like to have lots of space lol.

Sooo... we just bought a mattress pad from Ikea and I am sure this thing is saving our sex life. It's my #1 tip for all you who still want to cosleep, like doing it on a bed but don't want to do it that close to your dc. I just found being so close to her distracting and limiting, because we had to be quiet and all squished over on one side haha.

Before I thought of getting this, we were considering getting a seperate bed for DD, which I was sad about because I really love cosleeping but didn't want our lack of sex ruining our relationship, and our number one problem was not having a location, or a comfortable location. So this is a godsend because it gives us a place, a private, comfortable place, and still allows us to cosleep full time. The pad makes the floor 10 times more comfortable, believe me. I actually like it much better than the bed! And when you're done you can just slide it under your bed, or roll it up and throw it in a closet.


----------



## Flower of Bliss (Jun 13, 2006)

Guest bed. In fact, DH refers to the guest room as the "sex room." It certainly gets used for that purpose way more often than we have guests


----------



## hamletsjadedlover (Aug 5, 2007)

you mean i should still umm practice procreation?!?! i use it as my excuse not to lol since pregnancy and birth (literally 9 months of vommiting and in the hosp to be rehydrated) i just dont seem to EVER be in the mood
my poor d/h


----------



## sothisislove (Jun 29, 2007)

Oh, your stories make me laugh!! Life is interesting.


----------



## amyescott (Mar 13, 2007)

Seriously, I am just amazed that you want to have sex yet!! I was way too tired at 2 months! Congrats on the baby and the love life! Be creative, you will work it out!


----------



## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

Our guest room is also the "nookie" (dh's word not mine) room.

When ds was little 6months and younger we would put him in the cosleeper but I was always a little uncomfortable and enjoyed myself more when we were not in the same room.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoveChild421* 
since he's almost 3 there is the luxury of Blues Clues and Sesame Street...one video will buy you 40 minutes!







:

We are ttc and put on Backyardigans for ds Friday - we could hear it in our room and were dtd to the "Riding the Range" song


----------

