# Do your kids annoy you?



## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

The older my kids get, the more they annoy me. I feel horrible even saying that







But, it's true - especially with my youngest. The sweet times seem so few and far between. It seems like all day it's non stop mess making, fighting, arguing, whining "she touched me" "She got more" "it's not fair!!".

Just today my 5 yo cried and cried because when we pulled into the drive way, I asked my 6 yo to get the paper. Generally I get it first thing in the morning but I just forgot this morning. It's not like getting the paper is a big deal or something they look forward to - it was just an off handed request to my 6yo because the paper was on her side and my 5 yo lost it. Sobbing that she NEVER gets to do anything....... Which is not true. I'm very aware of her need to be helpful so, I give her daily things to do ie... she loves to be responsible for the keys when we're out and about so, that's her job..

It's all day. She whined and cried becasue she asked if she could go out to dinner tonight. Ummm, no.... we rarely go out to dinner so why she would even ask is beyond me. I told her no, we had food at home and that sent her on a whine fest.

I want to love on her, cuddle her, spend time with her and we do but inevitably, she ends up ruining it by whining and complaining and it makes me not want to be around her









I try to meet her on her terms - she loves to read, play "Meeting" (I'm secretary on my HOA board and she sees me in meetings taking notes) where we take notes and make lists of our favorite things etc..., we do workbooks together etc.... but, within minutes something sets her off and off we go in to the land of whinese.

I feel sad that I don't enjoy the majority of my time with her







These days are flying by so fast. I want to spend time with her, to just be with her and talk to her and play with her but, it's just not pleasant


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

My four year old and I have days like that. I find if everyone gets enough sleep and eats regularly there is less whining. Of course what is most interesting about that is when *I* get enough sleep and don't let *my* blood sugar drop he is less annoying. hmmmm


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

I hope it is just the age. DD whines a lot. I enjoy a lot of my time with her though. Her biggest problem is she wants me to play with her or she is "bored".


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## babytimeagain (Jun 16, 2008)

DS only annoys me when he's bored which means he's whiny/clingy. Sometimes when he starts annoying me I realize I haven't been giving him much attention because I've been working etc. (I work from home).


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## Jillie (May 24, 2005)

I've felt this way sometimes too. I think I just prefer the younger set. There is something about older kids that I don't get.


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## OakBerry (May 24, 2005)

Don't feel bad, I feel the same way sometimes. I only have one child too, so that makes me feel even more guilty for thinking this way.
My almost 6 year old ds's behavior is very similar to your dd's. I love him so much, but it's hard to be around them all day, every day!


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## forrestguy (Mar 6, 2008)

I know what you mean about them getting more annoying as they get older. Maybe it's just because I have the two to compare, but my eight year old is much more irritating then my five year old. My five year old at least still hugs on me and tells me he loves me. My eight year old is just full of this attitude. It drives me nuts. I'm hoping that by nine or ten it'll get a little better. I think for him he's in this weird in between stage, trying to have independence, but still needing me. It is cool that he's getting old enough to appreciate alot of the same stuff that I like, though.


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## BugMacGee (Aug 18, 2006)

My 4.5 year old is chronically annoying. It's just who she is and I'm on the path to acceptance.

My kids are very annoying in the car with their fussing and whining. I'm trying to be at peace with it.









I'm having to change my own attitude about the whole thing and it's a journey.


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## tanyam926 (May 25, 2005)

I can relate too. I love my kiddos, but the whining and arguing are enough to drive me up the wall. As soon as the whiny voices (esp. w/my 5.5 y.o.) come out it is like I can't hear what they are saying and I just get irritated.

I think that as my ds1 gets older and he is less physically affectionate and not as "cute" it is easier for me to get annoyed w/his behavior bc he seems like such a big kid. When they are all little and squishy and cute, it seems less annoying. To me anyway.

Don't feel bad though, I think we all feel it sometimes.


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## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

I am to the point where when someone asks me a question . . . . and I know the answer is going to be contrary to what they were hoping . . . I brace myself for the whine or all out hysterical crying fit. It. Drives. Me. Nuts. The other day the triplets were whining about having the wrong "placemat" of the pink, blue, green and yellow bunny placemats. I shuffled them all. They calmed down - and then older DS freaked out because he didn't want the blue placemat. AHHHHHHH!

DS #1 picks up a free community magazine at the grocery store and leaves it in the van. One of the triplets sees it on a subsequent trip and picks it up and brings it in the house. DS#1 sees triplet with it and snatches it out of his hand. A fight ensues. Both crying and ripping at the free community magazine? Hysterical.

These are just two of hundreds of these scenarios daily that I find very. very. very. annoying . . . . .


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## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".

I know people do things like go out for ice cream "as a treat" or have a movie night "as a treat" or go to the carousel in the park "as a treat".

In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished". If I take them for ice cream - the next 5 days straight I have to listen to begging escalating to crying for ice cream every single night. DH gets coffee for him and me every morning - and started occasionally bringing back a pastry for the kids. Now - every morning - we are rewarded with crying throw on the floor fits on the days he doesn't bring a treat (which is most days) . . .

Once again - "Treats Only Bring Pain" . . . . . and THAT is annoying . . .


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## slm21bl (Oct 21, 2007)

Oh yes, yes, yes! My three fight, complain and trash the house. My DD 5 drives me nuts. She constantly talks, makes noises, rushes me and needs nonstop entertainment. I've come to the realization that my biggest problem is that I feel like I'm competing to be "me". She copies everything I do or say and tries to be the Mom or talk about grown up issues. I had to tell my DH that he is not allowed to talk to her anymore about President Bush. LOL. She wants to be in charge and be involved in everything. It totally annoys me. My DH finds it funny because she is a carbon copy of me. I didn't know that I annoyed myself so much. LOL!


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## dillonandmarasmom (May 30, 2005)

What??!! No way!! Not my angels...









At some point...every. single. day.


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## janasmama (Feb 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".

I know people do things like go out for ice cream "as a treat" or have a movie night "as a treat" or go to the carousel in the park "as a treat".

In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished". If I take them for ice cream - the next 5 days straight I have to listen to begging escalating to crying for ice cream every single night. DH gets coffee for him and me every morning - and started occasionally bringing back a pastry for the kids. Now - every morning - we are rewarded with crying throw on the floor fits on the days he doesn't bring a treat (which is most days) . . .

Once again - "Treats Only Bring Pain" . . . . . and THAT is annoying . . .

Oh, I so feel you. My dd constantly wants a special treat and throws fits. I'm teaching her that she has to be happy with what she has first. Even when we go and do really fun things that aren't a usual thing she still wants a special treat once we get home.


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## lizabird (Jan 19, 2004)

Yes, sometimes my kids annoy me, especially my 4.5 yr old. There have been days that he was really really annoying, and other days that were great. But you know what, I'm sure I annoy him too sometimes.

Special treats - he'll ask for a special treat sometimes, even when he knows I will not say yes. For example, first thing in the morning, he asks for ice cream and chocolate chips. Um, no. We just try to be consistent and offer an explanation, like that he has to eat breakfast and lunch first and then for an afternoon snack we'll all have ice cream together. Why? Brief explanation about how our bodies need healthy foods to keep us healthy. He sometimes argues about it, sometimes not.

Mostly, I really try to treasure the great moments and be there for him when I can and help him figure out how to deal with the unprectabilities of life.


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## 3pink1blue (Jun 23, 2008)

I think a lot of it is age. My oldest DD is seven now, and she went through a period from around 5 through 6 that was just awful! Just drove me insane!! Every little thing would throw her into a fit. She HAD to have silly things her own way, and HAD to wear certain clothes, and HAD to have her hair done just so, and HAD to pick which book to read/movie to watch/game to play, etc etc.

Now she is getting to an age where she talks back some, but has thankfully grown out of most of the above.

I hope it will stay this way but I'm no dummy... I know she will be a teenager before I know it. [shudder]


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

All. the. fricking. time.







She's at this stage where she rambles. Forever. About her imaginary animals. And she makes up words. And she keeps talking even when I turn up the radio to drown her out.







It's ok. She's funny. I think I'll keep her.


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## Superior Jane (Jun 29, 2008)

Hmm.

Yes, they do have their moments. I know a good portion of it is simly their ages. One is 4 and the other is 7. The bickering and whining can be very taxing to me..to say the least.

The begininng of summer was very difficult for me. My husband took a week off and that and school getting out and my job coming to an end for the year all led to instant chaos.

I'd like to say that we've recovered, but that would be a lie. We are struggling through, and I am trying desperatly to get them back into some sort of routine or SOMETHING along the lines of structure, because that really, really helps a LOT !


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## SarahGuinn (Mar 6, 2002)

Yes, in the summer. I go all Spring chomping at the bit and then spend at least one hour a day thinking "go away kid!"

I know, this makes me awful, but to be fair, they are mighty annoying at 6 and 4 when they are together 24 hours a day.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

Ah, yes. DD is nearly 4, DS is 2 1/2 and, boy, do they love to fight! They annoy me probably less, though, than any other two people I might spend 12 hours a day with, 7 days a week. I love my DH, but if he and I had that quantity of time together, I might just throw him off a bridge. So the kids aren't quite so bad, I guess.


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## Jaimep (Feb 26, 2004)

YES!!! OH MY GOSH. I actually got online to look about about this very thing!

I am pregnant so my patience is not what it normally is anyway.

Today we went to church and it started off bad because our priest gave the kids suckers.







:AT 8 FREAKIN AM! Come on! So then by the end of church DS was a wild man. Thanks Father!

So we come home and all is ok. Then DH says, lets go to the shoe store. GAh! My kids are almost 5 and almost 3. They were bored and wild, then they were non-stop whining, chittering nonsense and loud in the car. I was about to freak out. Ok.. I did freak out a bit and yelled for everyone to BE QUIET!









Anyway, I appreciate all the others going through this? Does anyone have a good book recommendation for this age?


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".


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## mags (May 4, 2004)

My kids when they are away from one another do not usually annoy me. However, when they are together (4.5 yr old and almost 3 yr old), they drives me NUTS, b/c all they do is bicker and whine! There are times I wish that I would have spaced my kids 5 yrs apart, to avoid some of this bickering.


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## 2 in August (Jan 6, 2006)

My kids are 5 years apart and they still argue. Surprisingly the almost 2yo is the aggressor. He tries to sit on his sister, whatever she has he takes away and screams at her. He throws things at her. But she also gives such nice big reactions too that it's hard for him not too do it. So I end up saying get off your sister 100 times a day. Dd's been locking herself in her room and playing barbies and polly pockets for hours a day to avoid him. He does play better with her in her room too. I really thought we'd avoid this. When dd is out here, she talks constantly, tells the same bad jokes over and over, yeah. I lover her to pieces and we do have fun together, but there is no denying that she does get on my nerves sometimes. Then again I'm with them both 24/7 literally. Oh wait, once every 7-10 days I go grocery shopping, that is my alone time.


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## newmainer (Dec 30, 2003)

I just read (at the suggestion of an mdc mama) _The 5 Love Languages of Children_ and in addition to many other great points, the author said straight out- hey, children act like children and let's face it: childish behavior is annoying.

I loved that! it was the first parenting book i've read that was so honest about that fact. Then it goes on to talk about the importance of loving your children unconditionally, which is great. But i loved that he cut to the chase about that...it made me trust him, as an author!

But, yeah... my 2 year old is not annoying yet...he's still very cute. But my 5 y.o has a lot going on.

Course... she's irrisistible too!


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## mags (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2 in August* 
My kids are 5 years apart and they still argue. Surprisingly the almost 2yo is the aggressor. He tries to sit on his sister, whatever she has he takes away and screams at her. He throws things at her. But she also gives such nice big reactions too that it's hard for him not too do it. So I end up saying get off your sister 100 times a day. Dd's been locking herself in her room and playing barbies and polly pockets for hours a day to avoid him. He does play better with her in her room too. I really thought we'd avoid this. When dd is out here, she talks constantly, tells the same bad jokes over and over, yeah. I lover her to pieces and we do have fun together, but there is no denying that she does get on my nerves sometimes. Then again I'm with them both 24/7 literally. Oh wait, once every 7-10 days I go grocery shopping, that is my alone time.

That's funny. My youngest is also the instigator. When he was sick last wk, I noticed that there was no bickering. This wk, my oldest is sick and they are still bicker a little (not as much as usual), b/c the younger one is feeling like himself again and starting things up with his older brother. I think alone time helps so much. My alone time is LLL once a month (although for me it involves work since I'm a leader) and mom's night out for moms club once a month. It helps so much to get away from the kids!


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

This has been a rough few months. My son is 5 1/2 and he's been very difficult. It makes me sad and frustrated.


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## tbone (Dec 17, 2006)

Yes, Yes, Yes! My kids definately annoy me at times.


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## laoxinat (Sep 17, 2007)

My oldest annoyed the holy crap out of me endlessly. My youngest, almost never. But here's the thing - after all this time, I have come to realize that DS made me question everything I believed. I believed I was the centerof the universe. DS knocked my butt right out of it, never ind that I got there first. I believed he shouldn't be so annoying. But he WAS and it taught me to (mostly) stop arguing with reality. I believed he shouldn't swear and smoke and get tattoos (okay, I lied about the tattoos. I love his tattoos) But he DOES swear and smoke and have tattoos. It taught me to respect his individuality and to accept him exactly the way he is. This annoying, exasperating, maddening, loving kind generous sweet young man taught me that (gasp) I was NOT all that and I most decidedly did NOT know much of anything. All of my controlling, manipulating and preaching never changed a darn thing. Now, honest guidance and heartfelt concern was welcomed. After a while heh heh. The other stuff just fueled his determination to assert himself. So, yeah, be thankful for the annoying ones. Cherish them, mamas. LISTEN to them.They're your teachers, your guides, your little Zen monks in disguise.


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## Mommy&Will (May 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laoxinat* 
Cherish them, mamas. LISTEN to them.They're your teachers, your guides, your little Zen monks in disguise.


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## magentamomma (Mar 18, 2004)

Does it end though? It is painful to me because I thought I would enjoy parenting so much more than I do. Constant whining fighting yelling back talk and mess making. I feel like our life is out of control. And then friends with only one child, and generally one child under the age of 3 are full of remarks about how we don't discipline enough. But we hate spanking and grounding doesn't seem to work. I have lost the energy to do the fun things I used to with them This is really painful to me and If my dh would go for it I would probably go for family counseling.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Your kids are only 6 and 5?







I thought you already had teenagers. My oldest is 13 and he has his days. All of my kids are different though. I would say you just have to take the good days with the bad. Surely they aren't both bad all the time nonstop right? You have to have some things you enjoy doing with them or can say about them. It sounds like you were just having a rough day. It can be fun as they get older. For me, I love knowing that my 6 yr old DD is getting older. She is finally starting to be more fun. She loves doing things with her dolls and likes doing things with me and I can talk to her more in conversations. It's especially nice to go on vacations, to museums, shopping, etc and not having little ones rummaging through things and messing. I like it once they are mature enough to walk through and not touch and act normal.

Maybe it's just me, but I love it as they get older.







I know they're easy when they are babies but they are babies for a very short time and the reality is that we need to know how to cope with them more as older children and adults than we do as babies.

Perhaps you need to find a way to respond to your daughter so that she isn't so upset when you tell her no. I have found different ways to tell my kids no because I don't want them to get even more upset. It takes some time to get good at what to say to them at the right times. Kids go through phases (from what I've seen so far) and it definitely is a wonderful time as they get older, watching them learn and grow. I love seeing my kids turn in to intellectual, independent little beings. I do wish they came with an instruction manual though.







No one can ever know everything about raising kids. I've heard parents of totally grown adults say that. Just do the best we can.


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## ChocolateNummies (Apr 9, 2007)

I just told dd I'd read to her in a couple of minutes. All I've heard since then is:

"So, how many minutes has it been? How many? It has to have been two minutes by now. Moooom, how many minutes is it now? Come onnn. What are you writing? How many now? Hurry, hurry hurry. It's taking too long."







:

Yeah, my kids annoy me on a regular basis.









But I still love 'em.









Off to read.


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## E.V. Lowi (Sep 16, 2005)

It's just a taste of what is to come. It prep for the teenage years.


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## Luvmykiddos03 (Jun 9, 2008)

I'm glad I read this post today, because it's been one of those days. However, I must say that after reading this post, I feel awfully blessed! My kids are not perfect, by any means, but I simply feel like the complaints I have about my kids are so little compared to what some are describing. I really need to remember to count my blessings and be thankful for all I do have!

I hope no one takes offense to that, because really, this helped me put things into perspective today and brought me to tears. I really needed this!

My oldest (4.5) and I have had bonding issues from her birth, which I contribute much to the circumstances at the time and all that happened in the hospital from the get go. It's been a struggle to bond with her since and it's only been recently that we have started to bond. I think her getting older has helped in that aspect. Sure, she has her annoying moments, but goodness, she is just the sweetest, most loving kid, so I don't know what my problem is. She listens pretty well. She responds real well to how we discipline her. The things I get upset over, after reading this, I just feel like I need to get a grip! Especially considering all her annoying moments are simply a spitting image of ME!!!!! So I made her that way. For what we've been through over these years, I'm really shocked she is who she is and not a little tyrant running around! I give God all the praise and glory for that! I'm nearly in tears now, because I just want to go hug her and tell her how much I do really love her and appreciate her!

Our youngest (1.5) and I have bonded from the beginning! The circumstances and birth were so different from my dd's. So we've been joined at the hip since birth, but I have always tried to make sure I do my best to see that my dd doesn't realize how much more bonded I am with him than her. So far, she hasn't outwardly shown any behavior that would indicate otherwise, but I'm sure she feels it sometimes. Bonding with him has helped in my slow bonding process with her, which I'm so grateful for. However, he is now at an age where he throws fits when he doesn't get what he wants, he's labeled "Mr. Mischief" since he's always getting into trouble, and is real clingy! So he's tested my patience a lot recently and driven me crazy. But yet, in the end, I know it's his age and we actively discipline him appropriately for a toddler when he does do those things and he responds really well, just like my dd! He's so loveable, cute, and hilarious! He's always trying to make you laugh at him! He's a goofball!

So, goodness, I just feel so awful for feeling how I felt towards them earlier. Their misdoings still needed disciplining, but today, it seemed to anger me more than normal. Maybe it's pregnancy horomones, but still, I needed the reality check I got from this post and hopefully, the rest of the day will go better. When naptime is over, I'm gonna give them a big hug and kiss!









On a side note, I actually prefer them getting older. Teenage years don't worry me and I actually look forward to them!







I know we aren't guaranteed tomorrow (I lost much of my family as a child), so I'm especially thankful for them each and every day. I cherish each day with each age!


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## artgoddess (Jun 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChocolateNummies* 









I just told dd I'd read to her in a couple of minutes. All I've heard since then is:

"So, how many minutes has it been? How many? It has to have been two minutes by now. Moooom, how many minutes is it now? Come onnn. What are you writing? How many now? Hurry, hurry hurry. It's taking too long."







:

Yeah, my kids annoy me on a regular basis.









But I still love 'em.









Off to read.

tee hee I get that too.

Or when I'm trying to read and I ask him to not make any noise for just a minute while I finish reading and I'll be right with him. He gets close to my ear and whispers instead.









sigh

I remind myself daily that when he is a teen I am going to wish he felt the need to tell me every detail of his life.


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## Tinker (Mar 1, 2007)

Heck yeah my kids annoy me! My almost 8yo can have me wishing I could tear my own head off in 3.5 seconds flat! That child never stops talking!







And about half of it is whine and the rest is baby talk. And the little one is almost 2, need I say more?

It's normal. I think the best you can do is not let on that they annoy you. Because for one, you don't want to hurt their feelings. And for another children can..........

smell annoyance just like dogs can smell fear.







:


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

My ds is still a sweet angel full of baby goodness and sunshine, my dd can annoy me for days at a time, and I don't think it's me. I know part of it is that her father puts these ridiculous thoughts in her head that she then brings home and I get to deal with it. He once told her that she should feel free to question absolutely anything I tell her to do, because it's her right to question it. My dd has SEVERE adhd, impulsive type and is on the autism spectrum. I have spent her whole life getting to the point where she will listen to the sound of my voice when it reaches the panic pitch in order to keep her safe, and he managed to ruin it with one sentence. Brilliant, thanks.

She's also got this new game where she makes up stories about things I've told her and then tells her father so that he'll phone me and act like I'm irresponsible. She told him that I told her if you mix two kinds of shampoo together it will create toxic fumes. It would be funny, except that I actually know she's doing it on purpose to get a reaction out of him. Very, very annoying.

Come to think of it, maybe it's not dd who's the annoying one


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## *Moomin* (Jan 25, 2008)

I have a 5 y/o and in order to function well he needs enough sleep, healthy food every 3 hours or so to keep his blood sugar stabile, physical activity and sunlight (outside, outside, outside) and responsibilities. I've found that increasingly he responds very well to being asked to help out with things - making his own lunch, taking out the garbage, watching his brother while I cook - just little things like that.


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## nadia105 (Jul 16, 2003)

I thought it was just my kids! It makes me feel better that there are other moms dealing with this. I always feel so guilty about getting annoyed, esp since I am annoyed all. day. long. My kids are 5, 3.5, and 1 and the older two are a lot to take, esp when they are together. My one year old is still cute and squishy and doesn't talk yet







, but dd and ods make me want to pull my hair out and put in ear plugs.


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## Gwendolyn's babies (Nov 22, 2007)

Yes, at times they annoy me. recently, my 4 yr old has gotten into crying full fleged and jumping up and down if I tell him to do something.

They constantly fight...I am talking biting, hitting....you get the picture.
My 4 y old constantly is asking questions...this doesn't bother me ...what bothers me is when he asks the same question over and over that I have already given an answer to. Or, "mom I can't find this"...and it's like right in front of his face.

*I do notice that he has to maintain a good sugar level or he and his brother (3 yrs old) are insane. So, I am constantly pushing cheese sticks.*
My 3 yr old can be so loving...yet nowadays he is testing me to the limit!

I still have sweet moments and try to spend good time with them. I have simplified my life even more to have more "time" with them. This week the hubby is out of town and yes...I am using disposables







: and keeping meals simple as well.

I am also trying to stay consistent with everything...and that is my biggest struggle.


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## Jade2561 (Jun 12, 2005)

I'm not usually annoyed and it takes alot to annoy me but the whining DRIVES. ME. CRAZY. When the kids whine it feels like I have bugs crawling under my skin. My dds are 2 and 4 and I think I am equally annoyed when they whine but I am much less patient with my 4 year old because she KNOWS that the whining annoys me but does it anyway.


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## carollois (May 8, 2002)

There seems to be a common thread with annoying five year olds, so I will chime on in. I have three children, two boys ages 12 & 9 and a 5 yo dd. My boys certainly went through their challenging phases, but my dd is in a life long annoying phase. I like what someone else here said about their child just having an annoying personality and accepting it. Maybe that's what I will have to do. She is kind and polite to everyone else, but rude and full of emotional drama at home. That and the fact that she Won't. Stop. Talking. Ever. I am really hoping that she will mature and learn to stop being rude and annoying, just like my boys learned to stop destroying my house.
BTW, to add to my guilt over my feelings for her, she is my only child who is adopted.

Carol


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## minxnh (May 28, 2005)

Wow -- I feel so much better reading this thread. I sometimes feel guilty at how easily my almost seven-year-old can get on my nerves. Swimming lessons, her main summer activity this year, start next week and I'm hoping that helps her be less bored and less apt to push my buttons all day long.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

Oh Gosh Carol, I can see how that would add to your guilt. That's tough. I feel guilt too because I feel like I prefer my older DD. She's just so much easier to be around. I can talk to her, reason with her, I can tell her no to something and she accepts it, she doesn't whine or throw fits, her mood doesn't turn on a dime - she's just so pleasant.

I want to enjoy my time with my younger DD and I really try to. I try to make special time for us to go places and spend time together but, more often than not, it's frustrating and filled with whining and complaining. Sometimes I can't wait until I'm not alone with her anymore


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## kindacrunchy (Jun 25, 2004)

I had to respond because I have been thinking the same exact thing lately! And it makes me sad, too. Because I love my oldest to pieces, he is an AWESOME kid! But he does some pretty damn annoying things that just really get under my skin and my husband and my youngest.
Thanks for being brave enough to post this OP


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## Starlitlexy (Nov 11, 2005)

Of course kids annoy their parents. I remember annoying mine as a kid. It's payback.







lol My son has gotten into the "I will say yes when you say no phase". He is very stubborn some days and it is his way or no way. OY! It takes a lot of patience and energy, which I have neither of those things. lol


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BugMacGee* 
My 4.5 year old is chronically annoying. It's just who she is and I'm on the path to acceptance.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain". // In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished".


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jaimep* 
Today we went to church and it started off bad because our priest gave the kids suckers.







:AT 8 FREAKIN AM! Come on! So then by the end of church DS was a wild man. Thanks Father!









: oh dear. It is so wrong to laugh at the misfortune of others, but these posts were so funny.

I think people who DON'T find kids annoying sometimes are annoying.


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## lemonbar (Apr 14, 2008)

I was talking with my often annoying 5yo dd about babysitters. Out of the blue, she volunteered that she "listens much better to the sitters". "Really?!" I said, and she replied "yes, we are better for the sitters".

Well, we all knew that was true...until they get really really comfortable with the sitters. Which is the thing - they know that you love them and hence they are free to let loose with their annoyingness.... a sign of love and that they know they are loved, though a painful one!


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## Mallory (Jan 2, 2002)

If you have two kids, one trick that works really well for my two olders is a tip I got from another mom. She called it "King for a Day".

Make one of your kids even and the other odd. Then going by today's day, even or odd, that kid is King.

He gets to pick up the paper, or pick the first read aloud, or push the button, or use the red cup, or take the first turn, or sit in that car seat, or .......

For what ever reason this seems fair to most kids.

We never called it being the King, I'd just say, whose day is it?

We probably started when they were about 3 and 4 and now at 7 and 8, I rarely have to invoke it, but they even use it to solve thier own fights. And though it doesn't work for all the fights, it often does.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laoxinat* 
LISTEN to them.They're your teachers, your guides, your little Zen monks in disguise.









I







them. I cherish them.







:

I just cannot understand a single. word. they. say.







Because they are so noisy someone is usually talking over someone else. (or crying. or screaming.)

in fact, I dont think its my kids that annoy me.

I think its the fact that I can't get enough of what they have to offer because one of the other ones is causing too much interference.

Does that make any sense?


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mallory* 
If you have two kids, one trick that works really well for my two olders is a tip I got from another mom. She called it "King for a Day".

You mean they dont freak out that its not their day?


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## jewelsJZ (Jan 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magentamomma* 
Does it end though? It is painful to me because I thought I would enjoy parenting so much more than I do. Constant whining fighting yelling back talk and mess making. I feel like our life is out of control. And then friends with only one child, and generally one child under the age of 3 are full of remarks about how we don't discipline enough. But we hate spanking and grounding doesn't seem to work. I have lost the energy to do the fun things I used to with them This is really painful to me and If my dh would go for it I would probably go for family counseling.

Magentamomma,
I feel for you. I am familiar with those feelings, of stuff not working, lacking energy to have fun with my kids. If your husband won't go to family counseling, go for yourself. My husband agreed to go but because we can so rarely get a babysitter, only one of us could go at a time. I found, when I went, that it was so helpful. Still is. I was able to get concrete things to do with my son that really helped our whole family, plus felt better myself.
Take care of yourself. Hugs.


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## snuffles (Apr 11, 2002)

So refreshing to see this thread. This is my life all...day...long.

The getting-the-paper thing is a constant struggle in our house. I'm tired of trying to be "fair" among 3 older kids (I also have 2 younger ones!) They are constantly fighting over who gets the paper, or gets the mail, who gets to sit by the baby in the van, who gets to sit by mom at dinner, what movie we watch, whose turn it is to do this or that... It's constantly "but I NEVER get to do that.." or "She ALWAYS gets to do it.."

Ugh.


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## jewelsJZ (Jan 10, 2008)

Someone on this thread mentioned King for a Day as a solution, using the even and odd days with two kids, whoever's day it is gets to be the one to pick up the paper, sit by mom at dinner, etc. My mother did this with my sister and I and it worked great. I was planning to use it with my own kids, but now I'm having a 3rd. Any ideas for how to make this work with three kids without having to do advanced math on a daily basis?
The only limit to this system with two kids is that the kid who has odd-numbered days has the advantage when the 31st of the month is followed by the 1st of the next month. My sister had odd days and I found this very unfair as a child. My mother ignored my protests. So I think when that occurs, it's mommy's day to decide and everyone has to live with it!









I am so enjoying this thread. It is my life. I tend to think when my oldest is annoying me it is because of his other behavior problems (which we are dealing with) but then I read things like this thread and realize he is just being 4 sometimes, not always his "special needs." We have constant drama, non-stop talking and whining, endless needs that must be met, entertainment desired via Mommy 24/7, and constant fighting with his younger sister. Oh, yeah, and total not listening.

I often think back of when I worked in a group home with mentally ill people. What's the difference between dealing with small children all day and trying to do group therapy with personality disordered mentally ill patients? Not much, except at the end of the day, after dealing with the patients, you get to go home. And eventually, you do not work there anymore. Because you decide to be a stay-at-home mom. Yeah, what was I thinking?









I truly love them and often the adorableness overwhelms me. But I did not expect this to annoying stuff to start now. For some reason, I thought it would be later, like when they are teenagers. [shakes head at own ignorance]


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## mamamelia (Apr 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChocolateNummies* 









I just told dd I'd read to her in a couple of minutes. All I've heard since then is:

"So, how many minutes has it been? How many? It has to have been two minutes by now. Moooom, how many minutes is it now? Come onnn. What are you writing? How many now? Hurry, hurry hurry. It's taking too long."







:

Yeah, my kids annoy me on a regular basis.









But I still love 'em.









Off to read.











i cracked up when reading this as that's my 3yo dd too..


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## mamamelia (Apr 14, 2005)

oh, and heck yeah my kids annoy me! today was especially bad. i thought we would have the cops called on us with all the screaming going on (all from the kids mind you) at 12am.


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## Mihelinka (Nov 2, 2004)

Yes, i'll admit it to. I am having such a difficult time w/ my 4 1/2 yo. Makes me sad. Mondays are the worst, after a weekend full of one on one attention w/ his father, he is so crabby w/ me on Monday, & if he hasnt eaten enough it gets ugly.

I feel for the op :& everyon else.


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## Mallory (Jan 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Suebot* 
You mean they dont freak out that its not their day?










Like I said in my other post, for whatever reason this system seems fair to most kids (and I have heard of other families using well too). There is the occasional time when that 31st followed by the 1st causes some problems, but on the whole it was a life saver.

I think if you had three days, you'd just have to make a number line from one to 31 and color every third day the same color. I bet they'd have thier numbers memorized in no time







Or you could just pick two days of each week for each kid then take one off. So one kid could be Mon and Thur, one Tue and Fri, and one Wen and Sat. My inlaws also did by time of day, so in the morning one was it and in the afternoon the other was (but thier big fight was sitting in the front, so this worked okay).


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

All the freakin' time. The 20 month old CAN talk, but refuses to actually do so in favour of screaming, yelling, and "uh-uh-uh"ing. And he's the easy one.

Today, the other two waited until Dad was watching TV, and I was putting the youngest down to glue food and paper and other interesting assortments to the kitchen table. They have free access to crafts understand. Most of the time they only create minor havoc. Today though, they drew on themselves with markers and glued crap to the kitchen table. And painted the kitchen floor. Oh and "fixed" a several things around the house with plasticine.

But at different times of the day, so as to spread out the misery and havoc.

And then acted so







: about it that I felt bad about being pissed.









People regularly look at us coming and look at me in either annoyance or awe. So it can't just be my imagination that they are a serious handful to deal with.


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## H & J's Mom (Jun 1, 2008)

Ohhh yeah mine can certainly annoy me at times .... but not near as much as other people's kids









I always try to remember that someday I'll wish they were around annoying me ...


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## usandthegirls (Mar 22, 2006)

Yes.

Everything you said.

Yes yes yes.

I love her, but my oldest does the same things and it makes me feel the same way.


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## usandthegirls (Mar 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Suebot* 
I







them. I cherish them.







:

I just cannot understand a single. word. they. say.







Because they are so noisy someone is usually talking over someone else. (or crying. or screaming.)

in fact, I dont think its my kids that annoy me.

I think its the fact that I can't get enough of what they have to offer because one of the other ones is causing too much interference.

Does that make any sense?









OMGosh! This is exactly how I feel with my kids. EXACTLY!


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

No. Actually, he doesn't annoy me. truly.


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## JillChristina (May 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amcal* 
I feel sad that I don't enjoy the majority of my time with her







These days are flying by so fast. I want to spend time with her, to just be with her and talk to her and play with her but, it's just not pleasant

















That's almost exactly how I felt about my older dd today. I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day for us both.

Jill


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## macca333 (Jun 14, 2008)

Don't feel bad, think everybody(nearly) is the same- dd is 4 , nearly 5 and at this moment has been told to go to her room as this morning it is a drama to get herself dried after a bath and dressed!
Where did my sweet angel go?


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

I didn't read all the responses, but, yes, my kids annoy me. Just yesterday, my 7 yo dd was being oh-so 7 (annoying), so I lightened the mood by asking "Why must you be soooo-ooo _seven_?" She's got a well developed sense of humor, and thought that was funny.

I find that these questions are best put to our elders--"Did your dc annoy you sometimes?" Their response would likely be a fond, wistful "Yes!" with an additional "Were you expecting your dc _not_ to annoy you?" and then:


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## bdavis337 (Jan 7, 2005)

Yes, my kids annoy the heck of out me. Right now, in fact.....


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## Hesperia (Sep 3, 2007)

I really like how one person described it, I'm only paraphrasing "It's not the child that annoys me, it's the fact that they are all voice at the same time, and I don't get to enjoy what each one has to offer".

I feel this way when I nanny aswell.

I often try to give them each their own thing to do for a while, and bob between them and 'play' with them, or just cuddle them. Each day they are playing so much better together, and it makes me a little sad that what we've all worked so hard for it working! Ie, sharing nicely with each other, saying sorry and giving a hug if we've hurt someone, all on their OWN.

I guess I could work on that screaming thing they do. Why, why, why do they have to scream when I make lunch, and I cannot physically get to them fast enough......


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

OMG I could have written that post!

Except about my oldest, who is 3.5

And I feel horribly guilty because I feel like I spend all day long criticizing him "stop whining" "don't poke me/rub your feet on me/insert other annoying but generally harmless behavior here" "quiet down" "stop running/jumping in the house" "don't talk to me like that!"

and getting him to do something quiet in his room, or something at least away from me that does not involve making his sister cry while I put the baby to sleep and while I TRY to get maybe a 10 minute rest while she's napping. And while I try to make dinner and/or clean up a bit.

Or I TRY to let him be involved and then he doesn't want to do THAT. (THAT being whatever I am offering as a way to be involved.)

Meanwhile, I'm laughing at the nearly 18 month old's peek games, the new word she learned, the way she's pretending to be a puppy, etc. etc.

It's not that I love her more or think she's "cuter' or anything. I'm not TRYING to play favorites. But I feel like I must LOOK that way to my older child.

The real deal is, the 18 month old doesn't have the verbal ability to argue with me yet, rarely whines, and is much more easily distracted.

and in REALITY I KNOW he sees me get upset with her when she is fighting getting dressed, is sitting on him, antagonizing him, taking his toys, etc. etc. etc.


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## AuntNi (Feb 26, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain". . . .
In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished".

I have been LOL by myself every day since I read this! I even hum it to the tune of Wicked:

"No good treat goes unpunished.
No fun activity goes unresented." LOL

Seriously, I think some of our worst moments ever have been at the end of "fun" trips to the zoo, to the Botanical Garden, etc.







:


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## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

Oh man, have we ever been through the Treats Bring Pain Stage -- from about late three to mid-five, you would be punished every time you took her anywhere fun or bought her anything. At least in my kid's case, it got much much much better, so take heart -- they might outgrow it! Of course, other issues have cropped up, but at least there's novelty and surprise factor of seeing them find new ways to be annoying.

Mostly, though, she's really fun to hang out with. I would bet money it's because there are no sibs to bicker with, so if she wants to be jealous the only real focus is the cat!


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## sojourn (Oct 8, 2006)

Thank you all. I just made a post and then I saw this. I needed to read this. Kids are funny. They are little versions of who they're going to be, and we don't always agree w/them and we don't always "get" them, but they are ours and we love them dearly. And they teach us as often and as much as we teach them. dang. this mama just got schooled again.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thalia the Muse* 
she's really fun to hang out with. I would bet money it's because there are no sibs to bicker with, so if she wants to be jealous the only real focus is the cat!

Ahhh, I think you pinpointed it! I posted above that I DON'T find my kid annoying and I truly love being with him. But I felt like the lone poster up there, not annoyed. But, yes, he is an only (by choice) and I think that has A LOT to do with it.

My friends who have more than one always seem at the end of their rope. And then they say "have more!" I want to say "um you're not exactly a great advertisement for the lifestyle!"









All respect and hats off to you all to juggling many kids, I know that I personally do not have the inner Zen to do it.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
I need to add to this post my theory of "Treats Only Bring Pain".

I know people do things like go out for ice cream "as a treat" or have a movie night "as a treat" or go to the carousel in the park "as a treat".

In my house my experience has been "No good treat goes unpunished". If I take them for ice cream - the next 5 days straight I have to listen to begging escalating to crying for ice cream every single night. DH gets coffee for him and me every morning - and started occasionally bringing back a pastry for the kids. Now - every morning - we are rewarded with crying throw on the floor fits on the days he doesn't bring a treat (which is most days) . . .

Once again - "Treats Only Bring Pain" . . . . . and THAT is annoying . . .

O M G This is SO true!!!

I took DS on a "date" to the movies - to see Wall E. OH. MY. GOD. He loved it until it ended. The kid always has trouble with transitions. It ended in a big fight with him clawing my hand. Gotta love trying to do something special for a spirited kid.

Oh yes, we always PAY for treats here too. WE pay and pay and pay. (We pay for sleep too but I don't want to derail the thread.)


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magentamomma* 
Does it end though? It is painful to me because I thought I would enjoy parenting so much more than I do. Constant whining fighting yelling back talk and mess making. I feel like our life is out of control. And then friends with only one child, and generally one child under the age of 3 are full of remarks about how we don't discipline enough. But we hate spanking and grounding doesn't seem to work. I have lost the energy to do the fun things I used to with them This is really painful to me and If my dh would go for it I would probably go for family counseling.










Some days I hate being a mother so much. I would never, ever go back and not have them and I sure don't want anything to happen to them, but I really wanted to love taking care of them, but honestly, some days I wonder if they are from the same planet! And then I hear about the next age being worse than the current one. Wow. Then I get depressed because I am thinking that I will go through the rest of my life in nothing but pain? Ugh.


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