# What can you tell me about the nine month sleep regression? UPDATE post 7 :)



## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

I found this great article on it:
http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006...t_are_sle.html

and that has been a great start.

My 9-month-old was formerly sleeping through the night, and is now waking every few hours- and he wakes up and instantly starts *screaming,* before I can get to him, which is so upsetting. I think it's a separation anxiety thing...he seems to know now that when I put him down in his crib to sleep, that I'm going to leave the room. It takes forever to get him to go to sleep, and then he wakes up so frequently.

We coslept for the first 4 months or so, then I transitioned him to a crib in his own room using techniques from NCSS. Worked great, up until the last week or so. Now I've been bringing him into our bed again after the first waking, because it just seems to be what he needs right now, and it's also more practical with breastfeeding and the frequent wakings. DH is annoyed- hates having him in bed with us.









Any articles about the 9-month separation anxiety and or sleep regression thing would be helpful. I'm comfortable goign with the flow and just taking it one day at a time, but DH does better if he has some sense of how long things like this will last.

Or if you have personal experiences to share, that would be great too.


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

From Dr. Sears' website:

Quote:

Put yourself in the sleep pattern of baby. As baby passes from deep sleep into light sleep, he enters a vulnerable period for nightwaking, a transition state that may occur as often as every hour and from which it is difficult for baby to resettle on his own into a deep sleep. You are a familiar attachment person whom baby can touch, smell, and hear. Your presence conveys an "It's OK to go back to sleep" message. Feeling no worry, baby peacefully drifts through this vulnerable period of nightwaking and reenters deep sleep. If baby does awaken, she is sometimes able to resettle herself because you are right there. A familiar touch, perhaps a few minutes' feed, and you comfort baby back into deep sleep without either member of the sleep-sharing pair fully awakening.

Many babies need help going back to sleep because of a developmental quirk called object or person permanence. When something or someone is out of sight, it is out of mind. Most babies less than a year old do not have the ability to think of mother as existing somewhere else. When babies awaken alone in a crib, they become frightened and often unable to resettle back into deep sleep. Because of this separation anxiety, they learn that sleep is a fearful state to remain in (not one of our goals of nighttime parenting).


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## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

rzberry- yeah, i read that in sears' baby book, which is the only baby book I really read anymore. The part that really worries me is this:

Quote:

When babies awaken alone in a crib, they become frightened and often unable to resettle back into deep sleep. Because of this separation anxiety, they learn that sleep is a fearful state to remain in (not one of our goals of nighttime parenting).
I was comfortable switching him to a crib because I did it in a very AP way....I got to know his precry sounds so well that I could always get to him before he got upset. He'd wake, move around and make little squeaks, and I'd come scoop him up and nurse him back to sleep. He was truly comfortable sleeping in his crib, I'm sure of it. But now, he starts crying immediately, and before this he's never really cried in his life ever. i don't want him to become afraid of sleep, or to stop trusting me. but i'm also afraid to bring him back in our bed full time. i have sleep problems of my own and i just don't sleep well w/ mr squirmypants next to me. plus. dh really wanted him out.

i guess the solution for now is to have him in bed with us. i just hope i can transition him back again when this phase is over.

more ltr, typing one handed & baby ias fussy...


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## misseks (Jan 12, 2005)

My one year old gets upset when she wakes at 11ish if I'm not in bed yet. She's a very quiet baby, so she doesn't scream, but it is her equivalent. In fact, she really doesn't sleep well with me not there, and I think that is why too. Also, around nine months (crawling) babies tend to wake up more during the night. It is very tiring having to get up and being so startled, but maybe a good idea to keep your baby closer to you.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

could you maybe just move him into your room? ds1 did go through this...once a night he would wake up and start crying. I would just get out of bed and scoop him up and reassure him until he was back asleep and put him back in bed. maybe 5 minutes worth of trouble.

over time I found that I started talking to him the moment I heard him (instinct) after a couple of weeks I just had to tell him it was ok and still nighttime and he should go back to sleep. he was back to sleeping through the night completely by about 3weeks after the episodes started.


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## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

Hm, yeah....I've thought about moving him into a travel crib or something in our room for a while, so he'd be nearby but not in our bed. Something to think about.

DH and I are going to talk about it tonight, so hopefully we can agree on a good plan.


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## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

hi all,

So last night I figured out what is going on. (I'm 90% sure, anyway.) DS has reflux, and I think he has outgrown his dosage again. This has happened before, but usually it's more obvious because he spits up and shows signs of discomfort during the day. Now, he's upright all day, so he's only bothered by it when he lies down for naps and at night.

Last night was the worst yet- he was so obvviously tired, but couldn't get to sleep til an hour and a half past his usual bedtime. When he woke up crying, I brought him in bed with us and tried to nurse him...he would sort of nurse, but then pull off and cry. All night he was wriggling and writhing around in his sleep, and then he started arching his back and crying every time he nursed, which is the classic reflux sign. And he'd wake up from a dead sleep with a big twitch and start crying, unable to be comforted by nursing or cuddling, so it can't be a separation anxiety thing.

I called his doc and hopefully she can get us a new scrip over the phone based on his 9-month checkup weight. Meanwhile, I gave him some mylanta so hopefully he'll feel better today.

Poor guy! I feel awful that it took so long to figure this out. But I'm so glad I listened to my instincts and brought him in bed with us. It didn't physically help his reflux, but at least he was comforted by being close to us and didn't have to suffer alone. And having him near me helped me observe what was going on....when he woke up crying in his crib, it was harder to tell what preceded the waking up etc. Imagine if I'd let him cry it out...I would never consider it, but some of the moms in my playgroup were suggesting it. He would have been in pain and alone, and his reflux would only have gotten worse and worse until it got so bad it was obvious during the day as well.

Hopefully the increase in meds will help, and meanwhile I'll keep soothing him in the family bed.

Thanks for your support and ideas, folks! I felt a bit weird asking here, because we don't 100% cosleep as is the norm in most AP households. I think we have found a solution that works for our family though. It's interesting...I keep telling people that we moved him out of our bed at 4 months mostly because DH wanted it, but this week having DS back in bed with us I remembered it was much more of a mutual decision. I do NOT sleep well with DS in bed with me. He's so wriggly, and I've always had problems sleeping in the first place. I have hardly slept at all this week, which leaves me with not enough energy to play well with DS during the day. I hope he gets to the point where he can sleep peacefully in his crib again, so that we can all get some rest. If not, we'll figure something out.


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