# Overweight and co-sleeping...



## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Everything I read says for folks not to co-sleep if overweight (obese, etc etc). What is the deal with this? Is the assumption that the heavy person has no sense of bodily awareness and the baby will roll into some fat and the parent will not feel it? Seriously, what is the deal?

I'm by BMI standards in the obese category







, but I never have a problem with our shared sleeping space. When I roll over onto something, I sure feel it. Hell, I can even feel when there's a slight crumb in the bed, how in the world would I miss my daughter?

I understand not co-sleeping while intoxicated (though a drink at dinner is SURE different than tipsy-drunk-obliterated), and whatnot, but dude, overweight people still have nerves that work.

So why is this?

And also: If you're overweight, has that stopped you from co-sleeping? Do you really heed this fuzzy advice? I sure don't!


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

First of all I hate that body mass index thing. I am obese by it's calculations.

But no, my obesity







has not stopped me from co-sleeping. It actually doesn't stop me from doing anything.


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## timneh_mom (Jun 13, 2005)

That's rediculous. I have also read that "obese" people feel their babies move a lot later in pregnancy than thin people. WTF is that? Just because I have a fatter than average tummy means my nerves inside my belly do not work?

Yeah I don't get the no cosleeping with an obese person too. Unless you are super, super heavy and cannot turn over or move in the bed, I can't see how it would be an issue.


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## bottomsup (Jul 6, 2007)

I thought the biggest concern was the divot or hole that can be made in the mattress when the mom rolls over, and that baby can fall into.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *timneh_mom* 
That's rediculous. I have also read that "obese" people feel their babies move a lot later in pregnancy than thin people. WTF is that? Just because I have a fatter than average tummy means my nerves inside my belly do not work?

Yeah I don't get the no cosleeping with an obese person too. Unless you are super, super heavy and cannot turn over or move in the bed, I can't see how it would be an issue.

Oh yeah, the obese and not feeling the pregnancy early. Bah, I was 16 weeks, obese, AND anterior placenta, I felt her clear as day.

I hear ya on that not turning over bit....

Does anyone know the "reason" that "they" give for obese parents no co-sleeping?


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

I have read that the large size of the parent poses the risk of smothering the baby and that people who are obese often suffer from sleep apnea - a condition that reduces alertness.

And I don't know whether it's true or not, but the cosleeping "experts" seem to believe that obese people really do feel less: James McKenna (the father of co-sleeping, no less) writes that _"extremely obese persons" who may not feel where exactly or how close their infant is, may wish to have the infant sleep alongside but on a different surface_.


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## photochef (Aug 14, 2005)

I am definitely in the big, fluffy mama category, and not only am I not diabetic, but I had a normal size baby, no problems with delivery AND I have slept with her every single night since she was born. The medical community is not the only one biased against people of size (us fat folks). The mainstream, the crunchy ones, they have their predjudices too. Sad.

But no, I would never NOT have slept with my baby. We never had an issue. My sleep is so light, I am constantly aware of her breathing and movements. I raise her a little higher up on the bed with a firm memory foam pillow under her so that it is easier to nurse, but that could be my sore shoulder from lying on my side for a year, as much as my size.


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

BMI-considered obese mama, here.









I think it's about body awareness, and I think if one was majorly, tragically obese that might be a problem. I don't know, because I haven't been there. I can't imagine that something like that happens all the time.

If it's about apnea, shouldn't they just say people with apnea shouldn't cosleep? Not all fat folks have apnea, not all people with apnea are fat. Way to generalize, medical community.







: It's kinda like how they like to give fat mamas more c-sections because of course they must all be diabetic and have ginormous babies that they can't birth.

On a side note, many of the cases of apnea in overweight or obese people are actually due to undiagnosed or undertreated thyroid problems. But the medical community is not usually too keen on checking or treating that; they'd rather just tell people to go on diets and start jogging.

I don't think the size of the people is as significant as the condition of the mattress. We had an old horrible mattress before and it would push down and make divots no matter how little or big of a person was on it. Now we have a decent mattress and it doesn't push down any significant amount.


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## *Aimee* (Jan 8, 2007)

I weigh 285lbs and have co slept with both my sons. I hold my son at night, and have him raised by a folded blanket. Believe it or not, even though I'm fat, I still feel things!! I would def. be aware if I rolled over on my son.


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## mom2snugbugs (Nov 28, 2006)

Another "obese" person. My dh and I co sleep with our 23 mo ds and sometimes our 4 yo dd. We are trying to transition her to her own bed. So if I'm in her room with her, and my dh is in with ds, I can still hear him stir. _And I'm in the other room!_ Maybe my fat cells respond well to my children?


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## Mommy2Haley (Oct 25, 2007)

Yet another "obese" co-sleeping momma. nak

I may be fluffy but my fluff feels!!

I can sleep through my husbands alarm but I'm awake if dd so much as moves her arm or sighs.


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

I am also an "obese" mama according to the BMI. I am 240 and have been sleeping with DS from day one. We even co-slept in those little hospital beds and I felt and was aware of his position and every movement. For the first 9 weeks or so he needed to sleep on me, now he will sleep beside me and I have no fear that I will squish him









The "rule" about overweight mama's not co-sleeping has bothered me for along time. I always thought it was because "they" thought since we were "irresponsible" enough to get fat then we certainly are not responsible enough to safely co-sleep









DH is also "Obese" however he has sleep apnea and is not "aware" as I am to DS so when DS is between us, which is only in the early morning hours when DH is not sleeping as heavy, we use a body pillow against DH as a barrier and DS sleeps close to me and up high. I also sleep with my arm kind of around DS so I will feel DH with hy hand if he gets to close.

I think that the "rule" should be changed from "overweight and obese"parents not co-sleeping to specific things like if you have sleep apnea, or are desensitized to touch, or soft mattress etc.


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## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

Count me in too! I am considered obese by the BMI (hate that chart...) and I co-slept in the hospital beds with DS for a week with the blessing of the maternity nurses there.

I have also co-slept every night of his life so far and he is now 13 months old. I was a bit worried one night when I woke to find the blanket over his head, but then I realized I was so in tune with him that as soon as it got pulled up over his head, I woke up and removed it.

As far as fluffy mamas not feeling the baby move as early, I was fluffy during pregnancy and felt DS at 12 weeks! Earlier than most "normal" weight mamas!

I did make sure I had a very firm mattress. I had a pillow top at first, and I flipped it over and slept on the "wrong" side for a couple of months before I bought my latex mattress which doesn't really make a divot when an adult sleeps on it, so no worries about him rolling into me now at all.

Definitely listen to what feels right for you and sleep with your baby. You will never regret it!


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## babydanielsmom (Jan 18, 2008)

We co sleep and all 3 of us (ds included) are on the "heavy side"







.


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## jjrsgirl (Feb 26, 2007)

How do you fluffy mamas set up your beds so that the baby is safe? I'm considering co-sleeping, but don't know where exactly to start. Thanks!!!


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