# What is the opposite of whining?



## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

OK, all of you that are good with wording things, I have a challenge for you. I find myself saying "Please don't whine" a lot to my 3 YO DD lately. I would much rather make a positive "Please user your ____ voice" for obvious reasons. But I can't come up witha good word for the blank! I've tried, and rejected, "big girl" because even big girls and adults whine. I've also experimented with "nice" or "pleasant", but somehow if sounds as if you are only nice when you aren't whining, and that isn't quite the message I want to send. Lately I've been using "proper" but that seems a bit as if I'm asking her to speak like she was taking Tea with the queen or something. I've considered "strong" but that seems like an invitation to have her yell! So, any great ideas from you all?


----------



## fek&fuzz (Jun 19, 2005)

her regular voice?


----------



## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

polite?

i heard someone call it their "harmonious voice" which cracked me up.

voice that doesn't hurt my head/ears?


----------



## MyFuzzies (Jun 9, 2006)

I tell dd to use her NICE voice!


----------



## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fek&fuzz*
her regular voice?

Unfortunately, at the moment, that would be either whining or crying! Polite might be the answer, since we do use polite/rude for other concepts. But I could probably use a few more ideas since I think I'm going to be saying this for a while! I had forgotten how much I disliked this stage with my son.


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

cheerful
nice
pleasent

I usually just say "try that again without whining please" or "you need to ask that in a more pleasent tone of voice"


----------



## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I've decided on "polite voice" because that's what I think I mean. I've rejected "big girl" voice for the same reasons you did. Ditto for "nice" Sometimes I use regular, but "polite" is what works best for me.


----------



## cpop (May 3, 2006)

I usually just say, "Can you please speak in a normal voice, mommy can't understand your voice when you speak like that"
That usaully does the trick, because if she's whining she has something pretty pressing to say. My dd is three, before that when she would whine, or demand, things (as in "MILK, NOW" lol) I would just use my most pleasant tone of voice and while giving her the milk say "Milk, please" and she thought it was kind of funny and would repeat it. So that seemed to help.


----------



## darien (Nov 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fek&fuzz*
her regular voice?

That's what I say.


----------



## TortelliniMama (Mar 11, 2004)

We use strong voice. It hasn't occurred to ds so far that that could mean yelling.


----------



## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Could you say something like - "that whining hurts my ears. Will you ask in a different way?" I don't really like the "hurts my ears" thing, but just some way to express that you find the whining unpleasant to listen to.


----------



## Hey Mama! (Dec 27, 2003)

I tell my 4 year old to talk to me in her regular voice.


----------



## P-chan (Jan 23, 2004)

I say, "I cannot understand your whining" (which is sometimes even true!) "Can you ask me again so I can understand?" I also talk about his "regular voice."

Lately when I do this, my 3-yo kind of puffs out his chest and asks again in a deep, clear, but very stilted way. Apparently that is the opposite of whining!


----------



## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *P-chan*
Lately when I do this, my 3-yo kind of puffs out his chest and asks again in a deep, clear, but very stilted way. Apparently that is the opposite of whining!


----------



## love bug (Dec 4, 2003)

we use "courteous tone"


----------



## faithnj (Dec 19, 2004)

Ha ha! I don't know if this is any help or not, but it just popped into my head. You could ask her to please ask in Elmo's voice or whomever her favorite character is (as long as it isn't Oscar the Grouch! LOL) That ought to be good for an occasional laugh, and to lighten up the atmosphere from time to time.

Just a silly thought,

Faith
(Who briefly had an Elmo that sung the song "Shout!" At a certain point in the song, Elmo whispers "Elmo is being very quiet now." And from time to time I tell my DD I'm being veeeerrrry quiet like Elmo. It catches her attention.)


----------



## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

We say, "mommy can't understand you when you use talk like that. Please use your big voice" and he knows what that means for some reason.







It hasn't occurred to him to yell yet either.


----------



## VBMama (Jan 6, 2004)

We say "Please use your cheerful voice." Sometimes if ds is really dug deep into his whining we model the tone of voice for him.


----------



## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

I say "a voice I can hear." I used to say "polite voice", but then she'd use this high, ingratiating falsetto, which was very sweet and amusing, but even harder to understand.


----------



## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

I just say "can you say that without whining?" but a pp made me think... maybe a "clear voice"?


----------



## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Thanks everyone. I tried "polite" this week and I got whining with a "please" on the end of it! LOL -- not quite what I had in mind. I'm trying to stay away from "hurts my ears" or "I can't understand" because its annoying but doesn't hurt and I can understand her, I just don't like it, and I'm trying to be truthful about it all. I think maybe I'll try "clear" this week and see what that gets me.


----------



## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

I think you should say you don't like the way it sounds, then.









I'll do that sometimes. "Buddy, I hate that whining voice. Can you just talk regular?"


----------



## hubris (Mar 8, 2003)

Trying to think of things I might say...

"Let's try that again with a different voice."

"Is there another way to ask?"

"Can you please tell me in another way?" (when I can't understand the whining)

I often find that the whining is being cause by some unmet need - he's upset or I'm too focused on something else - so giving him a little attention or a hug or getting down to his eye level or being silly together for a minute makes the whining go away and then he's ready to ask in a more pleasant voice without my having to ask for it.


----------

