# Dealing with Mommy Cliques



## Mommy2Ben (Feb 17, 2007)

I've had a rough go with my playgroup recently. It's a seven-mom playgroup and one of the girls invited all of the playgroup to her son's second birthday party except me and my son. It got me thinking about mommy cliques and how high school never ends. There's always the mean girls, the cliques, the fighting, etc - all of which ignites my old high school insecurities. Aren't we supposed to be older and wiser? And aren't we supposed to be good role models for our children?

This whole ordeal got me thinking more about the topic and I'd like to explore it further. I am wondering if other moms feel that they are back in high school when dealing with playgroups and mommy cliques? Do you have a playgroup story to share or vent? - or do you you have any advice for how you handled playgroups and mommy cliques? What should you do if you're left out? How to you queal gossip? How do you break up with your playgroup? I'd love to hear how other are coping with playgroup and clique drama and what kind of situations they've had to overcome.







:

Thanks for sharing your stories!


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

Hi there.

First of all --










Second -- yes, unfortunately, I've run into a couple of mommy cliques. I just leave. Or, as I did on one occasion -- I tell whoever that I'm not interested in hearing gossip about anyone, nor do I myself gossip about anyone. I try to say exactly what I mean, and I think i now have a reputation of a) not giving a darn what others think of me, and b) being someone people can trust.

I say, be yourself. If you don't like the group, leave...or just be yourself and see if a few mama's gravitate your way.

As for the birthday party, are you able to ask the inviter in a nice way about the situation? Is it possible the invite has not yet arrived but is in fact on the way? If they tell you you point-blank weren't invited, can you explain how much that hurt your feelings...and then leave the group..?

I don't know if my post is any help. But I am sorry you are running into this. It's all very silly, isn't it?


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## Getz (May 22, 2005)

Ug, how freaking immature!

I have only been part of 2 mommy's group. One is only 4 moms and there is no drama.

The other one was very large but their main goal was to have a mother's group with no drama. And the leader was very strict about it.

Drama just annoys me. Why can't people just act like adults?


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## Redifer (Nov 25, 2006)

This is honestly one of the big reasons I have never sought out or participated in a playgroup or mommy group. I can't deal with drama, clique-ishness, etc. For one, I'm too middle-of-the-road. I don't fit in with the crunchy group, and I don't fit in with the mainstreamers. I don't fit in with the "hipster/alternaparents", and I don't fit into the traditional mommy group. So, I know without a doubt were I to join a playgroup, I'd be the one being gossiped about and excluded. Which is fine by me: piss and moan about me all you like, exclude me from the coffee klatch, whatever. But the problem is, it gets taken out on the children of the playgroup... because I didn't fit in, I wasn't ____ enough, my daughter would suffer the exclusion as well. That I don't jive with.

I just stick to hanging out with my actual friends... Our small little family circle-of-trust. We may not see eye-to-eye on everything regarding parenting, but we respect each other's decisions and we NEVER take out any animosity on the children.


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

I can't believe they did that to you and your son! Are you on bad terms with any of them? Is there a reason? Does your son not get along with them or something? That is so sad no matter the reason but I'm just wondering.

I have not run into mom cliques in my playgroup (but I run it so I try to keep that to a minimum there) but I have on my birth month email group I am on. It has gotten terrible there to the point of people leaving the group (we have been in 2+ years).

If you aren't comfortable where you are just leave. Then start your own. That's what I did and it's working out great.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I'm really sorry about the party thing. That is so hurtful.







This type of thing is the main reason why I only have two friends, who have been my best friends since childhood. I would love to meet and hang out with other moms, but that would probably involve going for meet-ups, and I *so* do not want to deal with the cliques and cattiness that I know is inevitable.


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## Guava~Lush (Aug 9, 2003)

Aw, man that sucks. Did she not think you would find out?

I never wanted to be in with mommy groups, for these and other reasons. After Justice was born, I was surprised at how much competition there is among new moms and their babies. Probably off topic, but that turned me off to joing groups later on.

Anyway, there was 1 Homeschooling group I wanted to join, but it was like a frat almost with a questionaire! I emailed the 'leader' and told her what I though about it.

I wasnt asked to join,







hmmmm, I wonder why?


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## Abarat (Jan 22, 2007)

Yeah, you'd think that a group like that, publicly advertised, etc. should be there for those mothers looking to connect with others but more often than not they just want to feel superior. I have yet to find a group I felt welcomed in so at this point I'd rather stay isolated and alone instead of putting up with their "holier than thou" or superior attitudes. Just not worth it.
Sorry, I'm a bit embittered on this subject as well. LOL


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

I just can't believe all the bad experiences with the playgroups!! I am going to check with the members of my group and make sure they don't feel like this is going on. I always try to be welcoming but it seems like so many people feel this way regarding playgroups that now I'm worried.


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

I'm with the poster who says make sure it was intentional. I was hurt not to be invited to an ex-co-worker's baby shower that I heard about, and a friend who went told me that everyone was asking where I was.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Been there, it sucks.







: Some people just don't grow up. When DD1 was a newborn , I went to a local family center play group, it was a huge mommy clique. I stuck it out for 5 months and then couldn't do it anymore. They would all get together on the weekends except for me, cause I was never invited, and then spent the entire playdate at the family center talking about it.







:


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Peony* 
Been there, it sucks.







: Some people just don't grow up. When DD1 was a newborn , I went to a local family center play group, it was a huge mommy clique. I stuck it out for 5 months and then couldn't do it anymore. They would all get together on the weekends except for me, cause I was never invited, and then spent the entire playdate at the family center talking about it.







:

I can't believe how insensitive people are!


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I deal with that in my local moms group. They don't welcome any new people. I told them one night that my baby was sick and nobody said a thing but any others say it they are all jumping. I am not like those women and it's obvious.


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## whateverdidiwants (Jan 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Redifer* 
This is honestly one of the big reasons I have never sought out or participated in a playgroup or mommy group.

Me, too. I'm terrible at small talk and don't want to be around people unless I really like them, and not just because we have kids that are the same age.


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

I guess I'm wondering if you're new to the group or not... not sure if that would make a difference??? It might seem awkward, but I would encourage you to ask the lady about the invitation. A lot of hard feelings could be erased by a simple conversation. Last year my ds and I started going to a playgroup but I never really connected with many of the women... so when my ds' birthday came around I wasn't sure if I should invite everyone... for me, it was hard to know who to invite because I don't know many of them very well. I ended up going on the side of too many people and inviting everyone that I had ever met who had a kid the same age as my ds. However, there was one mom who I had only met once or twice and never made a real connection so I didn't end up inviting her... maybe I"m the bad guy though.

I suppose we think junior high/high school behavior will end when in truth that's just how some people operate all their lives (I have a 6 year old niece who is likely going to be vicious when she's older). And I know people who behaved that way in college too. But what's really behind a clique?? Is it the desire to belong to a group that doesn't welcome us? Well I think cliques in general are more complicated than that, and a lot of groups of women don't set out to exclude people. Of course, how would I really know about all groups of women?? I don't think cliques always make a playgroup bad... I think sometimes the bonding that has occurred between woman can seem pretty thick. But I don't think it justifies any preconceived notion that anyone should just avoid a playgroup because it's the same as a high school experience. Perhaps a lot of the negativity comes from a place of insecurity...

I guess overall, I wouldn't think much about it... I joined a hiking group last fall, and it was obvious the woman knew each other really well. They seemed fairly open to having another mom join, but I was nervous to make new friends. I went, let them get to know me, and was respectful of the existing relationships.

I think what I'm trying to say is that just as we expect others to be NOT be snobby like high schoolers, I would say the same thing goes for the flip side... in that you have to lose some of that insecurity. Because the whole clique dynamic doesn't exist without both sides.

If you don't like the women, then maybe can you find another group? Or can you tolerate going and have fun with it.

Ok, now I'm rambling and i have a persistant toddler here... so I haven't had a chance to go back through and proofread sorry if it's clear as mud

I know it may seem like some women have cliques... but I think it can inadvertently be built up that way. Some moms get to know one another when they are pregnant and go through the whole thing together of birthing and raising and struggling and learning. I think that creates a bond between woman that can seem pretty thick. And perhaps then they are content with


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

subbing


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## EarthMommy80 (Feb 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whateverdidiwants* 
Me, too. I'm terrible at small talk and don't want to be around people unless I really like them, and not just because we have kids that are the same age.

I feel the same way as you! I have thought about playgroups, but I know I have never really "fit in" anywhere my whole life, and I don't have the patients for women who are catty and make remarks about other mothers parenting styles. I went on a field trip when my daughter was in preschool (which she no longer is, since I moved and it was all filled up), but NO ONE talked to me, I walked, ate, rode on the bus by myself, and no one even looked in my direction. I am prone to prejudgement! That is why I don't judge ANYONE! I hope that me being me doesn't effect my children when they get older, but I know it will, that's society!







:


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## Jilian (Jun 16, 2003)

I don't join mommy groups either for these same reasons. Any time I've been around these groups they are super clique-y and that is something I left behind in high school. I'm not interested in feeling like I'm in a clique or on the outside of a clique.

I even stopped going to Gymboree with DS because it got ridiculous. Everyone was always bragging about what their kids were doing or wearing and it was really disgusting. The moms there were really materialistic and defined themselves by how many things they owned.

I'd much rather just spend time with one or two like-minded moms, or just spend the day alone with DS.


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Quote:

For one, I'm too middle-of-the-road. I don't fit in with the crunchy group, and I don't fit in with the mainstreamers. I don't fit in with the "hipster/alternaparents", and I don't fit into the traditional mommy group. So, I know without a doubt were I to join a playgroup, I'd be the one being gossiped about and excluded.
That's me, too. I don't find gossip to be so much of a problem (although maybe I am being naive about that?







) but I often do find it difficult to "click" with other mothers just because, whether they are mainstream or crunchy, I am not quite like them (especially if they are more mainstream, though). I remember I once talked about the possibility of homebirth to one of the mothers in a playgroup and she looked at me like I was from Mars.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

"Mum dating" is weird isn't it?

I echo the advice to talk to the other mum directly and find out... at least it's information.

From the groups I've belonged to the only advice I really have is that you can only control yourself. I don't gossip about other mums and change the subject if it starts around me. I also don't look to the mums to be my friend really... I hope some of them will be, but I see it as mostly a kind of activity group like a quilting club would be. So even though I get nervous and freaky sometimes I try to remember that it's really just about whether it's working out or not. And if a group isn't working for me or my son (or both) then we gracefully bow out.

Oddly enough, after a year or so it seems like the other mums with that attitude and I have gradually found each other. I remember one of them was sitting with me and she said "I just realized that I've spent the last ten years only being friends with people I really like and trust - and in a few years I'll have to be around all kinds of people I don't like, because my son will like their kids or they'll be at school together" and I cracked up because it is so true - parenting really pushes at my boundaries that way sometimes. So we have a little zen playgroup where we all carefully aren't friends, but might be someday. Maybe. 

I don't know if that helps but you asked what other people had found. I think a lot depends on your area; in mine there are so many mums and so many people from lots of cultures that there is always another group/activity/something to try and that helps a lot. Hang in there!


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

I've never been much of a joiner, and I rarely fit into any one catagory... I started my own group, and I urge other moms like us (who don't feel like joining someone else's gig, and who don't fit into slots very well) to do the same.

I have found that like-minded moms are hard to come by, but that the ones I do come across are eager to have others to share with and enjoy watching our children interact together, too... I have always been gifted at bringing people together, and feel more comfortable in a group I inspired, than I did in any of the moms groups I took a shot at.

If we keep the focus on pro-active functions, (the Children's Museum, Paint Pots, Portrait Parties, etc...) and not just random gatherings at the local play-structure, it steers us all away from mindless chit-chat, too. Sometimes I think of topics in advance to throw out there and see if anyone wants to nibble on with me. Like, Extended Breastfeeding, to vax or not to vax and why, what kinda slings have u tried and liked, are u eating organic, how do u balance home and husband and work (in some cases), what are your plans for schooling, etc...


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## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GuildJenn* 
"Mum dating" is weird isn't it?











Yes, that's how I've always thought about it! Like I'm going on a date with the other parent. to see how we all get along.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Redifer* 
I don't fit in with the "hipster/alternaparents", and I don't fit into the traditional mommy group....

I just stick to hanging out with my actual friends... Our small little family circle-of-trust. We may not see eye-to-eye on everything regarding parenting, but we respect each other's decisions and we NEVER take out any animosity on the children.

Yup, that's about where I'm at. Making friends with women I actually _like_ without a lot of regard to their parenting philosophies. Especially since parenting philosophies can and often do change; joykill personalities, not so much.


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PrennaMama* 
I've never been much of a joiner, and I rarely fit into any one catagory... I started my own group, and I urge other moms like us (who don't feel like joining someone else's gig, and who don't fit into slots very well) to do the same.

I have found that like-minded moms are hard to come by, but that the ones I do come across are eager to have others to share with and enjoy watching our children interact together, too... I have always been gifted at bringing people together, and feel more comfortable in a group I inspired, than I did in any of the moms groups I took a shot at.

If we keep the focus on pro-active functions, (the Children's Museum, Paint Pots, Portrait Parties, etc...) and not just random gatherings at the local play-structure, it steers us all away from mindless chit-chat, too. Sometimes I think of topics in advance to throw out there and see if anyone wants to nibble on with me. Like, Extended Breastfeeding, to vax or not to vax and why, what kinda slings have u tried and liked, are u eating organic, how do u balance home and husband and work (in some cases), what are your plans for schooling, etc...

I am curious, what are portrait parties? And I'd love to hear some more of your ideas for "different" playdates.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

I'm not sure I have much to add except to give you (((HUGS))).

We have just moved from Chicago, where I had a lot of close friends, to Jacksonville, FL where I know no one. It's been very hard to make friends because everyone already has their established groups and friends. And even harder than that is finding moms who I actually click with and have something in common with. It's like moving to a new school in the middle of the year, KWIM? LOL.

It was very insensitive for her not to invite you and your son. It sounds like this might be hard to get over (unless you find out some *justifiable* reason) and that you might be more comfortable finding a new group or just hanging on your own for awhile.

Good luck!


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Guava~Lush* 
Anyway, there was 1 Homeschooling group I wanted to join, but it was like a frat almost with a questionaire! I emailed the 'leader' and told her what I though about it.

Our group has a questionaire. The reason I did it was because it is a public group and ANYONE can apply to join. We have our contact information in there, and when play dates get planned there might be addresses posted. I don't want some pedophile knowing there will be a group of kids at my house on such and such a day. KWIM?

The purpose of the questionaire is to get a feel for who is joining, and then I follow up with a phone call. If I referred the person through an LLL meeting or something, then I don't bother. But if they found us by searching Yahoo Groups, I don't let just 'anybody' join.

Just thought I'd share so you don't think us leaders are imposing, prying, nosey, controll freaks. We just want to keep the group safe, and that mostly means the kids.


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoablessing* 
I'm not sure I have much to add except to give you (((HUGS))).

We have just moved from Chicago, where I had a lot of close friends, to Jacksonville, FL where I know no one. It's been very hard to make friends because everyone already has their established groups and friends. And even harder than that is finding moms who I actually click with and have something in common with. It's like moving to a new school in the middle of the year, KWIM? LOL.

It was very insensitive for her not to invite you and your son. It sounds like this might be hard to get over (unless you find out some *justifiable* reason) and that you might be more comfortable finding a new group or just hanging on your own for awhile.

Good luck!

Hey I am in Jax, FL, too, you should come join our playgroup!


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *North_Of_60* 
Our group has a questionaire. The reason I did it was because it is a public group and ANYONE can apply to join. We have our contact information in there, and when play dates get planned there might be addresses posted. I don't want some pedophile knowing there will be a group of kids at my house on such and such a day. KWIM?

The purpose of the questionaire is to get a feel for who is joining, and then I follow up with a phone call. If I referred the person through an LLL meeting or something, then I don't bother. But if they found us by searching Yahoo Groups, I don't let just 'anybody' join.

Just thought I'd share so you don't think us leaders are imposing, prying, nosey, controll freaks. We just want to keep the group safe, and that mostly means the kids.










That's very interesting. I would love to see some of the questions that you put on the questionnaire!


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jaidymama* 
I don't think cliques always make a playgroup bad... I think sometimes the bonding that has occurred between woman can seem pretty thick. But I don't think it justifies any preconceived notion that anyone should just avoid a playgroup because it's the same as a high school experience. Perhaps a lot of the negativity comes from a place of insecurity...

I guess overall, I wouldn't think much about it... I joined a hiking group last fall, and it was obvious the woman knew each other really well. They seemed fairly open to having another mom join, but I was nervous to make new friends. I went, let them get to know me, and was respectful of the existing relationships.

I think what I'm trying to say is that just as we expect others to be NOT be snobby like high schoolers, I would say the same thing goes for the flip side... in that you have to lose some of that insecurity. Because the whole clique dynamic doesn't exist without both sides.

I really identify and agree with this. It's so easy to assume that you're being shunned when, in fact, the mothers who didn't talk to you were just caught up in their own conversation and didn't mean to exclude. I suppose it's different if you've been attending a playgroup for weeks or months and no one speaks to you, but I've heard many mothers here say they went to a group once or twice and when someone didn't become their best buddy within 20 minutes, they thought they were being judged and excluded. I'm sure that IS the case sometimes because some women really are like that, but I think many of these situations are just miscommunication and a lack of social skills on both sides -- the new woman may feel nervous, defensive and interpret innocent actions as hostile if that's the mindset she's going into it with, and the mothers who are part of a 'clique' may not want to scare the newbies away by being overbearing, too chatty, up in their face, asking questions and stuff. It's a delicate balance to strike and it's not always just one group's fault.

I attend two playgroups and at one of them, I'm one of the regulars and I have gotten close to a particular group of women. We always chat to other, new mums and have welcomed those who seem interested into our 'group' that does things together outside of the playgroup setting, but we can't realistically be good friends with every single woman that shows up, especially if they come, don't talk much, sit in the corner, and only come once a month or so. It's hard to get to know them and sometimes I'm so busy chasing after DD, talking to my friends and chatting to new mums and answering their questions, that I sometimes realize that I didn't talk to a newcomer. I feel bad but I can't be Superwoman all the time!

If you're making yourself available for friendship while respecting the existing ones within the group and actually like the women, you shouldn't have a problem. If they're just not your kind of people and/or you feel you've really tried and are still being excluded, leave and find a new group that will welcome you with open arms.


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

What happens is it's very loosely organized and there are overlapping social circles. We also live in a small town so often people have other associations (schools, church, whatever)

The issue that I have had in the past is when people make plans at playgroup in front of other people and it becomes obvious who's excluded. It's happened to me a few times and it was not fun.

People can just be kind of clueless really.

Then there are some people who invite all playgroup kids to their kids' birthday parties and those who only invite a few. In theory I'm fine with this, but it can feel strange when you're not invited. In cases where we weren't invited I've been able to joke with other excluded moms though.

My older kids never really had close friends in playgroup because they were excluded. They ended up having their own friends outside of playgroup so it was okay.

My youngest got along really well with many of the kids and some are still friends. It was a great group of kids.

I kept going to playgroup because overall it was a good experience but it was never really a source of friendship for me.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cmlp* 
That's very interesting. I would love to see some of the questions that you put on the questionnaire!

What kind of car you drive, income, underwear size. Just kidding.









Seriously, it's pretty much just location and phone number (number of kids, etc). The reason is so that I can verify that the person is actually local, and not someone on the other side of the country logging in just to view our pictures or something. I call the local number they give and say "hi", just to make sure they are indeed local. That's it! It's not like I'm checking to see whether or not they cloth diaper or co-sleep full time. We're _like minded_ mothers who generally have the same phylosophies, so there is no criteria to meet or anything like that.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wife&mommy* 
I am curious, what are portrait parties? And I'd love to hear some more of your ideas for "different" playdates.

One of the moms in our group is a portfolio building photographer and we do portrait parties with her and all the kids... wacky costumes, dress-up, group shots, mom and child shots, etc.

We also do project parties, where a couple of the moms work on a project like painting a room in one of the houses while the other moms take all the kids to do crafty projects outside, or build a fort or something, rotating out who is watching kids and who is painting...

We have done ceramic painting parties at the local spot, where they set it all up for us and clean up after, and u pay by piece.

We will be doing "Garden Parties" this spring, where we'll all dig around and make a little communal garden together...

We regularly take over a big book store children's section inviting other moms and kids already there to join us for an impromptu story time on rainy days.

I have more...


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## MysteryMama (Aug 11, 2006)

mama. i didn't read all the posts and someone else has probably already said this, but get a new play group. i don't really have any other advice or story as i have no play group experience.


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## TranscendentalMom (Jun 28, 2002)

I read a review of a book called "Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads" written by the author of "Queen Bees & Wannabes" (which disected the culture of high school cliques). Anyway, the book about how cliques operate in the parenting world...it sounded really interesting.

Anyway, I don't know all the details about your playgroup and my feelings would probably be hurt too if I were in your shoes, but I just wanted to say that there are a lot of reasons you might not have been invited that weren't personal. I do invite my whole playgroup to my kids birthday parties but to be honest, I often pray that some can't come. We all have at least 2 kids now and my ds has friends from other circles that we invite and these parties can get CRAZY and it also gets really expensive. Maybe she was maxed out on the number she invited and doesn't know you as well as the others? Also, sometimes the kids want to invite who they know the best and maybe her kid doesn't know yours as well? One friend of mine that infrequently comes to our playgroup invites all the kids to her dd's bday parties but said it kind of bothers her sometimes because her daughter doesn't even know or play with some of the kids from playgroup and yet she feels she has to invite them. Anyway, my point is just that the kid birthday party thing is weird and I would try to keep it in perspective. And hey, who needs to buy another b-day gift! Look at it like you got off the hook this once!!!


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Here's one for you. I'm in the corporate world and do you know I was advised to be careful who I was SEEN eating lunch with - lest I be associated with less powerful, loser, people. Apparently I'm supposed to associate with the up-and-comers!







:

It NEVER freakin' ends!


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellien C* 
Here's one for you. I'm in the corporate world and do you know I was advised to be careful who I was SEEN eating lunch with - lest I be associated with less powerful, loser, people. Apparently I'm supposed to associate with the up-and-comers!







:

It NEVER freakin' ends!

Oh that's just sad. That's something I really hate about our society today-that those who are not powerful are described as "losers". It takes all kinds you know. Why can't we respect everyone's gifts?


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## mom2mich (Dec 2, 2006)

Sorry about your experience. I hope it was just a mistake given it seems odd to exclude just one person out of a lot of people. Try a Google search on "mom cliques" and you will find you are not alone and maybe that will help you feel better. I hope you have happier future times with mom friends.

Older and wiser? Haha.







These cliques seem to revolve around very insecure women. I guess I kind of feel bad for those who never really grew up and instead of being themselves have to define themselves by becoming part of an exclusive group. It has got to be very lonely to limit who you associate with by very narrow, strict, catty standards. However, it must feel safe to always stay within that safety zone and some people like that feeling I guess.

I looked up that book that another poster mentioned and came across this list:
http://www.amazon.com/About-Adult-Wo...R2KSE4K1LHLENS


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

I don't belong to a mommy group per se, but at my dd's ballet class all mothers basically sit around and chat for the hour we are in the waiting area. Most of us have had our dd's in the same class and every year we all go out at least 1x. And anyone who is there when we make the plans is more than welcome to come along, regardless of whether they have been w/our dd's or not. It's nice b/c it is such a mix of us. We have working moms, teachers, SAHM's, etc. There is no competition as to whose child is better or smarter than another. We just basically talk about everything b/c when you get right down to it, we all have the same goal - and that is to raise happy, healthy children. Actually we are going out this week, and since one of the moms can't make it, we may end up going out again, just so she can be included.


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## Mommy2Ben (Feb 17, 2007)

Thanks for all the support and advice. I did confront the other mom and it was no mistake that we weren't invited. The reasoning was bogus and the only thing she apologized for was that I found out. Sadly, by asking her about it and telling her it hurt my feelings, it only made her defensive and angry - so things escalated and became more strained. I am happy to report that I am no longer in communication with any of the girls in the group. I think it's best to move on and up. I'm 30 and am so done with high school drama.

Thanks again and if you have any stories to share along the same lines, please keep 'em coming.


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