# How often to bathe/wash hair??? (Help me settle this disagreement with my husband...)



## ekh (Jun 20, 2008)

How often should children's hair be washed/how often should they bathe?

Every day? Once a week? Twice a week? Twice a month?

My kids are in the pool once a week and I wash their hair once a week. One kid loves to splash in the tub, the other hates it, and they both hate having their hair washed.

My husband thinks that pool time is sufficient bathing, and that I'm going WAY overboard with the hair washing. I think once a week is the minimum...


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

I would say once a week is fine. However, reality is, I wash DS's hair far less often than that. He just doesn't get smelly or dirty (well, not his hair...). When he was smaller, I washed his hair more often b/c he would rub dirt in it every time he was outside and his scalp was always gritty. But I really think that it depends on the kid, the hair, and the tolerance for it (both kids' and parents').


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

My kids are in the pool once a week too, and I wash their hair right afterwards. For me them being in the pool is the main reason *why* I wash their hair! Chlorine is so hard on hair! (and skin...) During breaks from swimming lessons we do often go longer than a week between hair washes. Dd gets her hair washed more often than ds because the conditioner really makes it easier to get the tangles out (ds has short hair).

Besides that we have weeks with no bath (besides post-pool shower), and weeks with 3-4 baths. It depends on a variety of factors - dirtiness being one, and also that they sometimes "need" a bath to help mellow out and calm down before bed time.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

My girls love to shower... okay they don't love it but feel like they need it. Could be the sweaty TX mentality. I think whatever your kids are comfortable with. You don't want them to be the stinky kid either. Washing hair in my opinion when they're in school is a good way to get a look at their scalp. This is from a mother who has had two lovely bouts with lice!


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I vote for bathing with at least soap day and doing the hair every other day. The nurses in school recommend twice a week as the bare minimum. I don't recommend the minimum because two of my friends do that and they don't realize that other people can tell. One still denies that her son stinks more than is normal for a child despite being banned from the inside of a friends home because it was beyond what they could stomach.

Smell is something you get used to when you live with it and I really worry about my DD being labeled the stinky kid. As your kids get older that will start to become more of an issue so even just playing in the tub daily might be something to consider to help set the stage for more frequent serious bathing when they are school age.


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## elisheva (May 30, 2006)

All my kids are under 5. My boys are in the pool once a week and rinse off afterward. My dd is 2 and likes to play so bathes pretty much every other day. Aside from that, they get 1-2 other baths per week depending on circumstances (in summer they are in every day because they get dirty playing in the yard). I at least have them wet their hair usually but in reality it only gets washed with soap about every 10 days.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

My toddler gets his hair washed once a week. I can and have let it go longer then that especially if we have gone to to the pool but he has a lot of hair and it doesn't start getting gross after a while. Once they are school aged then they usually bath every other day.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

I think bathing and washing hair every other day is pretty good for my dd but I would go for once a week at a minimum.


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## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

my kids get twice a week sometimes once a week. more if they are getting dirty. my kids dont smell or have greasy hair. the 7 year old takes them more frequently than the younger ones and the teen takes one every morning. it all depends on the person. i wash my hair and self every other day if i am leaving the house but i have been known to go 3 days. i base it on how fast your hair gets greasy, how much you sweat, and how dry it makes your skin. we bathe almost every day in the summer (or at least play in water). my 7 yr old gets really dry skin so she takes them lots less in the winter and i use cocoa butter or coconut oil on her afterwards.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

We do baths most days but it's more for fun than cleanliness. We only use soap if there is actual dirt/stink but at this point that is not often. I only wash hair when it is needed which with ds' short hair is rare. Fwiw - I have verrrrry dry hair & only wash my hair with shampoo when i swim to get the chlorine out.


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

my ds is usually in the tub every day or every other day. sometimes i actually soap him down, but sometimes hes just playing. he usually has bubbles though, so hes playing in soap either way, lol... i dont even know how often i wash his hair... when it smells sweaty, lol, or when its dirty. more often in the summer, less in the winter.

even when he was a baby he was in the tub every day, hes always loved playing in the tub


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

The idea of a child bathing less than once a week is kind of gross to me to be honest. Is there some benefit to not bathing I'm unaware of? My kids used to bathe 2-3 times a week but now the older two are hitting puberty (almost 11 and 9) and they stink and get oily hair if they don't shower every other day. By the older age it isn't a big deal because they do it all themselves. My almost 6 year old still needs help with her hair but like I said, a minimum of twice a week. I guess I am just one of those parents that thinks sometimes your kids just need to suck it up and do it because its necessary.


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## jess in hawaii (Oct 13, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
> 
> The idea of a child bathing less than once a week is kind of gross to me to be honest. Is there some benefit to not bathing I'm unaware of? My kids used to bathe 2-3 times a week but now the older two are hitting puberty (almost 11 and 9) and they stink and get oily hair if they don't shower every other day. By the older age it isn't a big deal because they do it all themselves. My almost 6 year old still needs help with her hair but like I said, a minimum of twice a week. I guess I am just one of those parents that thinks sometimes your kids just need to suck it up and do it because its necessary.


Yes, exactly. I only diverge from this in that my younger ones wash hair usually once every 5-7 days but give it a good rinse during their other showers. Their hair is dry like mine, and I can't wash mine more frequently than every 4 days (under extreme conditions like swimming or otherwise getting it unusually dirty somehow). 5-7 is optimal for us, though some people may need to more often.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

My kids are lucky to get once a week. Sometimes it's every 10 days. Dd is in swim lessons, so she washes her hair every week after swimming. Ds has always hated to bathe, and so I've had to put my foot down about washing his hair weekly.

He's going to enter puberty in the next year or two, and then I'll have to enforce more frequent bathing. But for now, he doesn't have the pubescent smells, his socks/shoes don't stink, and he can get away with about once a week. In the summer it's a bit more frequent because he gets sweatier, but then he doesn't mind the shower so much.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *One_Girl*
> 
> I vote for bathing with at least soap day and doing the hair every other day. The nurses in school recommend twice a week as the bare minimum. I don't recommend the minimum because two of my friends do that and they don't realize that other people can tell. One still denies that her son stinks more than is normal for a child despite being banned from the inside of a friends home because it was beyond what they could stomach.


This is extreme to me -- there's got to be more going on here than simply not bathing more than 2x a week. Some kids do get smellier than others, but I've never met a kid who smells so bad they'd be banned. I've got an incredibly sensitive nose, as does my mother. I'd know if ds stunk. I do enforce good hygiene on the toilet. My kids change their socks and underwear daily and wear clean clothes daily. They don't stink. They've never been banned from anyone's house for their smell.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Heavenly*
> 
> The ide Is there some benefit to not bathing I'm unaware of?


Bathing too often can dry out your skin. My kids both have pretty sensitive skin (dd more than ds). When dd was 2-3, I couldn't wash her hair more than once a week because she would break out in a rash, no matter what shampoo we'd use. (She's also the kid who breaks out for all but one sunscreen that I've found!) Ds had sensory issues and he couldn't just "suck it up". So, we settled on once a week. They're fine.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

shampoo hair - once in two weeks. or something like that.

actually soap in hair is unnecessary. just nice hot water is a great 'soap' by itself. tried giving up shampoo and just do water and unfortunately though i could see benefits to it, just did not like it.

bath whenever she was stinky - whether that be once a week or once in two weeks. and again she doesnt have to use soap. a good rinse with bare hands adn fresh flowing water is good enough for me.

though i have found its the clothes that have most of the odor = not skin.

after a chlorine pool no matter how many times a day or week dd would have to take a good long soaking bath.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

My 9-year-old has to bathe or shower every day or she gets stinky.

The toddler only gets bathed about twice a week or her skin gets too dry. Once a week would be OK but she generally gets filthy often enough to need two.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

I wonder about if I'm allowing mine to bathe too often? Though the days they go a weekend without bathing there are complaints about irritation in the girl parts. I'm that way too though. I can go a day or too but then I don't feels so fresh... I've tried just having them take a Whore bath, but they prefer a shower. Though their skin does get pretty dry too.


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## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

our general rule is when there's poop/food/crust in it. otherwise not so much.

however, i would get the pool chemicals out if it were me.


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

DD splashes around in plain bath water every night as part of her bedtime routine, but we don't soap her up very often. I don't think there is really a "minimum" that is appropriate for every child. Just wash them when they get dirty.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

My personal opinion is that a daily bath WITH SOAP/SHAMPOO is a must. Non-negotiable. The only exception is if we are having a lazy day and don't leave the house. Or very rarely in the winter if we truly don't break a sweat, I may let it go.

I know a gentleman from church who freely admits that he never uses soap, just rinses off head to toe daily. His car and his person smell horrible. We gag on the smell.

I have a family member who claims that her vulva stinks after being cleased with soap, so she gave it up years ago. Guess what?! She still reeks of crotch rot!

If, and only if, we lived in a place with four distinct seasons and the winters were cold and we truly did not get sweaty, I could understand letting my kids go a day in between baths/showers. But we live in a state where the air is sticky with humidity for about 10 months out of the year. Thus, we bathe daily. My kids wash hair daily. And soap is mandatory each and every time. I occasionally skip a day of washing my hair, but it chemically over-processed and naturally dry and frizzy anyway.

I guess this is the only non-crunchy thing about me.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

crotch rot! Ah, gotta love that term!


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## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

I live somewhere where winter is long, and cold, and dry. I don't know a single pre-pubescent child whose parents have them wash more than 3 times a week, with twice being more the norm. I do not hang out with a very crunchy crowd. Most parents I know start out with more frequent bathing and them move to less frequently as they discover how drying a bath or shower can be to their kids skin.

The kids are washed whenever they get stinky, or sweaty or have been in the pool (nothing dries out the skin and hair faster than chlorine left to sit in the hair and on the body). So they do take more frequent baths during the summer, however, then it is more likely to be every other day.


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## 4midablemama (Jul 29, 2010)

My kids have eczema, so we avoid soap in favor of shower oil, but I just can't see not using anything at all, or foregoing bathing for more than a few days at a time. They're five and three, they don't have BO yet, but they play outside, they get food on their faces, DD comes home from kindergarten with playground dirt embedded in her knees and marker all over her hands. There are a million things that they do in the course of their normal, everyday kid lives that I feel necessitate bathing on a regular basis. DD still has trouble getting herself clean after she uses the bathroom, she has to have a bath at least every couple days or she ends up with an itchy bum. DD also has minor sensory issues, so I can understand why the rules would need to be relaxed for a kid with SPD or the like, but letting a "normal" (totally for lack of a better word) kid go without bathing just because they aren't feeling it? Nope, sorry, this is one instance where my kids don't get to choose their own path.


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

See, we live in a very dry climate, and if I soap DD up every day, her skin gets irritated. We do end up using soap more often in the summer because she sweats more and thus actually needs to be washed with soap, but it's still not necessary every day. That's why I said there isn't a minimum that is appropriate for every child. I still don't see what's wrong with just cleaning your child when he/she is dirty enough to need it. That may be every day for some children, but that doesn't mean it has to be every day for all children, you know?


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

My boys bathe daily. We usually skip a bath on Friday night and Saturday is bubble bath night, but otherwise they get washed and soaped every day. We all shower after swimming in chlorine.

I really can't imagine only washing my kids in the swimming pool. My kids have very sensitive skin as well, but a daily bath has never bothered them.


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## dbsam (Mar 3, 2007)

In the summer my children, now age 7, have a bath/hairwash daily. They are just dirty/sandy from playing outside.

In the winter, they normally bath/hairwash every other day unless they need one - sweaty after tennis or playing in the snow, etc. My children sweat a lot...I don't think they are stinky at this age, but just getting the sweat off makes them more comfortable. They could probably have their hair washed less often - growing up, my mom washed our hair once a week.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

so all your kids use soap in the crotch area? no one complains?

dd cannot. it hurts and burns her. she is 9 and had never had soap anywhere near her crotch area. she freaks out if soap goes anywhere near there. water has worked for us fine.

truly the only place dd needs soap is her underarms for BO. but even then its when she's had a sweaty day. its BO on her clothes that is noticable.

for us summer is very different. dd is in the pool every day and thus needs a shower everyday because of the chlorine.


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> so all your kids use soap in the crotch area? no one complains?
> 
> ...


Dd uses soap on her underarms, feet and other places as needed. I think soaking in a tub of water for 30 minutes to an hour is enough for the crotch area to get clean without putting soap there.


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## Mittsy (Dec 29, 2009)

Bathing about twice weekly here. We don't use shampoo on the kiddo's hair at all, just water, that's all that's necessary at this age imo.


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## sagewinna (Nov 19, 2001)

Older kids shower every other day, though older dd washes her hair 2 times a week only.

8 year old dd showers or bathes 2 times a week in general, more if she is sweaty/dirty/etc. We wash hair every time.

Youngest dd showers or bathes 2-4 times a week, hair washing 2 times a week.

More often hair washing makes their hair dry. None of my girls can take a bubble baths or use soap in the genital area or they get irritated. None of them have "crotch rot".


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## coldandsleepy (Aug 5, 2008)

My son (a little over 2) gets a bad case of stinky scalp after a few days, and has only recently really gotten over having cradle cap (which smelled horrid). We've found that washing his hair 2 or 3 times a week is sufficient to keep him fresh. He sometimes gets bonus hair washes if he does things like play in the sandbox and dump sand in his hair.


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## elisheva (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> so all your kids use soap in the crotch area? no one complains?
> 
> ...


When I was little I hated using soap on my crotch because it stung. At some point someone realized that I wasn't wiping after only peeing and my vulva was raw most of the time. As soon as I started wiping properly every single time, I have had no crotch sting since.


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

so... if you're sensitive you're sensitive.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *elisheva*
> 
> When I was little I hated using soap on my crotch because it stung. At some point someone realized that I wasn't wiping after only peeing and my vulva was raw most of the time. As soon as I started wiping properly every single time, I have had no crotch sting since.


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## Luckiestgirl (Nov 10, 2004)

My kids (ages 4, 6, and 8) bathe and wash hair twice a week during the cold months, and as needed (probably averaging every other day) in hot weather. I agree that daily clothing and underwear changes go a long way toward preventing stinkiness.


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## DoubleDouble (Oct 26, 2011)

I washed my hair once a week or even less often when I was a kid. I had very dry skin and dry scalp. Now I have oily skin and I have wash my hair every three days at the longest. If I can't do that (sick, etc) I use "dry shampoo".


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## 4midablemama (Jul 29, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> so all your kids use soap in the crotch area? no one complains?
> 
> ...


My GP told me, after I had a string of gnarly infections, that soap, even the mildest kind, isn't good for girl parts, and that all the feminine products that are supposed to be "specially formulated" for that particular area are even worse. I make sure that the kids wash themselves thoroughly with clean water, front and back, and I do the same, but no, we don't use soap in or around the crotch area. And I do need to clarify something else; bodhitree had a point about different climates. I live in the deep South; we have hot, humid, sticky summers, and my kids end up smelling like wet dogs if they don't get bathed every day. I bathe them less often in the winter because the central heat dries their skin out and aggravates their eczema. It would be totally different if I lived someplace like Arizona where it is consistently warm and dry and they didn't get icky and smelly every time they set foot out the front door.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

3-4 times a day for my 2 yr old who keeps dumping food in his hair. If they are otherwise clean, a couple times a week is fine. But, apparently, my 2 yr old loves rubbing food in to his hair so...he is never "otherwise clean."


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## DoubleDouble (Oct 26, 2011)

I've read that Namibian natives "bathe" with smoke - climate is too dry to de-grease the skin (and water is probably too scarce.)


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

i think dd is just sensitive in the crotch area. hmmm however i cant imagine how she would not be wiping properly esp her vulva area.

we wash her crotch area with water every two days or so or she uses a bidet so no itchy bum or red crotch.

what i find interesting with her (and it may be her thing) is her vulva area is red from wearing underwear the whole day long (mind you comfortable pure cotton underwear - not too tight, maybe a little loose). dd prefers being naked at home, she doesnt like pjs. she prefers just the top (what is that called - a night shirt?). when she is home just in a dress with no uw there is no redness.

also what's funny she is less stinky underarms when she is not wearing clothes.


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## alicewyf (Apr 24, 2008)

DD bathes every other day due to VERY sensitive skin. We use special soap for eczema when she is bathed. We wash her hair every other day, but I'm thinking about cutting back on that too. I have thick, curly, dry, frizzy hair, and my hair behaves best when washed 2-3 times a week; her hair is the exact same type. I shower my body every day, though. DH showers and washes his hair daily, but he has unholy man stink if he doesn't. Last night I told him he smelled like cumin and to not come near me until he had bathed (I am pregnant so I'm sure that makes it worse)! I start to stink after about 36 hours with no bath, so I can handle bathing every other day if needed. When DD was an infant we bathed her maybe once a week, but she didn't do anything to get dirty back then! She is now 28 months.

Totally not liking the thought of only bathing older kids/ adults once a week. I went to school with some kids from northern Europe (we were living in the middle east at the time, so infrequent bathing was totally inappropriate for the climate) and I guess their culture bathes less often (I forget which specific country). They were really stinky kids.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

I discovered Bronner's Magic Soap several years back and now I buy Baby Mild by the gallon. My boys use it on their (fairly short) hair, faces, and bodies. I use it on my face and body, vuvla included.

I was intrigued a few years back by the thought that our bodies become dependent on cleansers after years of use, so I waited til a cold day (not too many of those in FL!) and then showered in just plain water. Did that for a few days and I couldn't stop clawing at my girly parts! Holy crap did I get one raging case of the itchies. haha I gave up on the detox and went back to Bronner's soap, happily so.

And while I totally get that adults and older kids have stink that littler kids just don't have, littler kids poop and pee on themselves, and I personally feel that plain water isn't enough to clean off poop. So, in my world, diapers=daily bathing with soap.


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## jess in hawaii (Oct 13, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *alicewyf*  Last night I told him he smelled like cumin and to not come near me until he had bathed (I am pregnant so I'm sure that makes it worse)!


I'm sorry, I am laughing at this because I LOVE the smell of cumin! I don't like regular stinky guy smell, but if it smells like cumin it's totally like an aphrodisiac. I have intentionally fed my husband extra cumin in an attempt to make him smell like it


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## DoubleDouble (Oct 26, 2011)

My husband smells like cumin and spices, too! He doesn't get stinky (not for a few days), he smells awesome!


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## mambera (Sep 29, 2009)

DD1 (2) plays around in a plain water bath most days (+/- soap to crucial areas depending on her level of cooperation) but has gone up to 3 days with no bath when things get hectic. I think hair gets washed about 1x/week, she is very uncooperative with that though so the thoroughness of the wash is often suboptimal.

DD2 (7 weeks) gets a full-body oil massage and bath with hair wash most days also, has also gone up to 3 days max without though (Thanksgiving weekend was busy).

Both get their bottoms washed with very mild baby soap every time they poo (although I am thinking of starting to do otherwise with DD1 since she is daytime trained and getting too big to wash that way). Neither has ever had a soap reaction.

I feel gross if I don't shower daily myself. I just don't like it. Wash hair 1-2x/week (it is long and gets dry otherwise).

Re the pool, I agree with pps - need to wash chlorine out of skin and hair afterwards for sure.


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## cameragirl (Apr 15, 2010)

DD gets a bath or shower every other day, or more often if she's gotten stuff in her hair or is stinky. Her hair starts to get noticeably greasy if we go longer than every other day for washing.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

DS is 7, he showers every morning before school with no prompting from us. He requested the AM shower.

DD is 4 1/2, I *absolutely* make sure she showers in the morning if she wet her bed, very few mornings she *doesn't* shower. actually she likes baths, so it's a bath. Her hair doesn't get washed with shampoo often, I do a conditioner wash at least once a week though. Her hair type dries out with too much soap.

DS2 is 3 and not PL, so at least once a day in the tub scrub of body. I don't force the hair issue, his is really short right now. DH is more likely to wash his head. More often if it's a really nasty poop diaper.

DS 3 is on a feeding tube right now, not doing solids. I bathe him a few times a week, more when necessary, extreme body fluids all over situations. Hair a couple times a week minimum.

I agree on the 'stink' issue. DH is even more aware of that than I am, he instituted a rule that they must shower when he requests it, like if we are going out somewhere special. I never quite 'got that'. We discussed it though and I agree, we don't accept it as normal that our kids smell at all, it's better to teach them to do what they need to so that they DON'T stink.  and in the summer yeah they probably do.


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## Alphaghetti (May 26, 2005)

My kids are 11, 9 and 7. They bathe every 2 days, sometimes more, at my discretion. My girls (the older two) wash their hair every time, as it gets greasy now if they don't. My 7 yo doesn't always use shampoo every bath - more like once a week, but does use soap each time. In the summer months, they often bathe every day, as they are normally covered in dirt, sand and sweat from playing outside.

I went through a phase where none of us used soap or shampoo. This lasted for a couple of years. None of us were smelly. We still bathed. In the end, I decided that I missed my silky, shiny hair, and just couldn't get the balance right with the No-poo, so the entire family switched back to commercial human cleansers.

If my kids don't bathe, they smell like sweat and/or bum. Yuck. I have a very sensitive nose, and that little kid dirty smell just grosses me out. Regarding genitals, my children NEVER use soap on these parts. DS is intact, and he practices the 3 R's, but no soap. They just rinse with plain water, and none of them have ever had a redness, odour or infection issue. I don't use soap on my genitals any more either. I noticed as I was getting older, that I was getting more of an odour. I mentioned it to a friend, and told me to stop using soaps, and only clean the external area. Once I started doing this, the new odour was gone! Our labia and vagina are kinda like self cleaning ovens. I am teaching my daughters thusly. Please excuse the potential TMI.


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## ekh (Jun 20, 2008)

Thank you everyone. I don't think that my girls need their hair washed every day, but it's just going to be a rule that their hair be washed every Sunday, after they are in the pool. My husband is German and they certainly don't bathe there as often as we do, so that's the source of this disagreement.

My children are in the bath several times a week (at least the younger one is, the older one has been avoiding it, so I need to make sure it's happening...).

My husband bathes every day, but his issue is washing their hair with shampoo. (He thinks water is plenty.) I think their hair looks stringy and smells bad if it doesn't get washed with shampoo at least once a week. He thinks it looks dry and "washed out" after I shampoo it. I'm not sure we're really going to be able to agree on this one...


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## Imakcerka (Jul 26, 2011)

I like this, I'm going to see if they'll go uw free with their jammies. I think they'll do it. They usually only sleep in uw. So maybe I'll get them some loose shorts.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> i think dd is just sensitive in the crotch area. hmmm however i cant imagine how she would not be wiping properly esp her vulva area.
> 
> ...


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Dd 5, gets a bath twice a week or so in the winter, more often in the summer (the sunblock/sweat/sand/chlorine combo is just disgusting). She has very dry skin and is prone to eczema and her skin looks much, much better if she doesn't bathe too much. We wash hair once or twice a week--again, it looks and feels much healthier than if we did it more.

FWIW, EVERY doctor/midwife/etc. I've been to has emphasized the importance of keeping soaps off the genital area to keep the skin healthy, although certainly some people have less sensitive skin than others.


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## sharon71 (May 27, 2005)

Daily bathing with soap is hard on the skin,so with that being said my youngest DD takes a bath 2-3 times a week and washes her hair 1-2 times a week which in itself is a major battle. LOL


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

My 2 yo gets maybe a bath a week. When i deem him stinky or his hair is getting encrusted (he runs his hands through it when they're covered in food). His hair only gets washed when it's getting crusty, and for us "washed" means water and BS. I do not use soap on him, and never have. BS or plain water has been plenty.

That being said, for myself, I'd love a shower every day, but reality is that it doesn't happen. But I go about a week (7-9 days) between hair washings (also with BS). When I used to use shampoo, I had to wash my hair every other day or it would get nasty, but now once a week is plenty. Your body really does start depending on that stuff.

As for the question of sensitive crotches, both DH and I have similar issues. If I sleep in underwear, I will start getting a rash in the fold between leg and crotch. So I tend to sleep without, whether I have pjs on or not. If DH doesn't change his underwear at least once a day (I mean, wearing 1 pair in the morning and a different pair in the evening), he'll start getting a rash. So he changes his clothes completely when he gets home from work and doesn't sleep in underwear either.

As for smell - so much of it is dependent on personal chemistry. Diet, health, exercise, genetics all effect our personal smell. As do things like living space (living with a smoker, in a house with poor kitchen ventilation, if you regularly use a fireplace, etc.), and laundry habits (frequency, type of detergent, washing temperature, even types of fiber in the clothes). Daily showering does not address all of those things. I've known plenty of people who showered regularly who I don't want to stand too near because i do have a sensitive nose. Yet my toddler who is still wearing diapers and gets a weekly bath when he starts smelling too ripe (usually ammonia) doesn't bother me most of the time.


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## mambera (Sep 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ekh*
> 
> My husband bathes every day, but his issue is washing their hair with shampoo. (He thinks water is plenty.) I think their hair looks stringy and smells bad if it doesn't get washed with shampoo at least once a week. He thinks it looks dry and "washed out" after I shampoo it. I'm not sure we're really going to be able to agree on this one...


Do you use conditioner after washing? This may help the dry/washed-out issue.


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## cat13 (Dec 8, 2010)

I have a question for those of you who say no soap on the genitals... is this for boys too? Please forgive the my naivety, but I'm still learning about boys! (DS is 15 weeks) Sometimes he gets an explosive dirty diaper with poo everywhere, even on his scrotum which is almost impossible to clean without a bath. In that case, do you only use water? What's the harm in using soap?


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## saralm (Mar 31, 2011)

Our 2 year old takes a ba2-3 times a week but that has been a struggle recently so it isn't ver consistent. She used to take a shower with us every morning but now hates the shower. It's cold at our house so I don't feel like she is getting very dirty anyway.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cat13*
> 
> I have a question for those of you who say no soap on the genitals... is this for boys too? Please forgive the my naivety, but I'm still learning about boys! (DS is 15 weeks) Sometimes he gets an explosive dirty diaper with poo everywhere, even on his scrotum which is almost impossible to clean without a bath. In that case, do you only use water? What's the harm in using soap?


The harm in soap has been covered several times in this thread already, I believe with links, so I'm not going to repost those. But the basics are that most soaps contain all sorts of toxic ingredients that you really don't want near your babe if you were to do the research. And, soap dries out the skin. Eventually your body also becomes dependent on it, losing it's own natural abilities to protect and moisturize.

For those explosive diapers, try an extra wet washcloth. Not damp, but not quite dripping, and you want something with texture, like terrycloth or the rough side of cotton fleece. My DH never understands why I can get DS cleaner than he can, when he only gets the wipes barely damp and I soak them. I tend to use a flannel wipe to get the bulk of the mess, and then a cotton fleece wipe to get the last bits.

And if you really feel like you need to give him a bath to get him clean, sit him in the warm water for a minute or two to let it soften, and then try something like a peri bottle, or a squirt bottle (like ketchup or mustard come in) of warm water (you can try dissolving a tsp of BS in it if it's not enough) - it's a lot gentler. Like I said above, my 2 yo has never known soap. I use BS on his hair, and then let him soak in the BS water, and that's been plenty. For myself, I use Dr. Bronner's Baby soap (the Baby is Unscented), but I screwed up my body chemistry years ago, and I'm doing my best not to inflict that on DS.


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## Alphaghetti (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cat13*
> 
> I have a question for those of you who say no soap on the genitals... is this for boys too? Please forgive the my naivety, but I'm still learning about boys! (DS is 15 weeks) Sometimes he gets an explosive dirty diaper with poo everywhere, even on his scrotum which is almost impossible to clean without a bath. In that case, do you only use water? What's the harm in using soap?


I'd say it's for boys too. My son is 7, and uses no soap on his genital region. He is intact and retractible, so he just rinses under his foreskin, and uses a cloth or his hands to wash his stinky butt  No soap. In the case of a child still in diapers, I can see the need for a little soapy refreshment, but maybe when you bathe him, the soap that ends up in the bath water can be enough to do the job? Just a thought. Please don't apologize for your question - we all learn as we go along! Or, we ask our friends at MDC. 

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *cristeen*
> 
> The harm in soap has been covered several times in this thread already, I believe with links, so I'm not going to repost those. But the basics are that most soaps contain all sorts of toxic ingredients that you really don't want near your babe if you were to do the research. And, soap dries out the skin. Eventually your body also becomes dependent on it, losing it's own natural abilities to protect and moisturize.
> 
> ...


Re: the body chemistry, it is possible to fix this! Just be prepared to be a little stinky for a few weeks, but your body will adjust, and no more messed up chemistry. Worked for me, anyway.


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## mama_ness (May 10, 2010)

i think once a week for young kids is perfectly fine, especially in our midwestern climate.

if my kids have been ill or something, or playing in the mud, or it's really hot and humid then yes... more regular bathing.

i shampoo their hair once per week. it never looks greasy and they do not ever smell bad. i keep their hair up in braids or ponytails so that they don't get food or other junk it it.

my 10 year old is starting to show signs of puberty. her hair is looking greasy quicker and she can develop an odor. i have been having her rinse off in the shower every 2-3 days (rinse but not wash hair, wash body with soap) and that has solved things. She now shampoos her hair twice per week.

my kids all have various extremes of eczema and it is better for their skin to be bathed less often.

i personally shampoo every other day and rinse the rest of the time. it has made a huge difference in my scalp.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

I haven't read all the other responses, but I wash my kids' hair way less frequently than once a week. Only if it seems really dirty or something do I force a shampooing on them (they're almost-6 and 3.5, btw). They both have curly hair, though, and washing too frequently makes the tangles much worse. I do try to wash it after swimming, since you mentioned that, to get the chlorine and other pool yuckiness off, but sometimes it's only a rinse.

ETA, since it's come up: my kids bath every night, but they rarely use soap--maybe once a week or so, at the most? I sometimes add vinegar or essential oil to their bath water, but I think water is enough unless there's a real dirt issue. My own hair is much less greasy and healthier since I stopped washing it every time I showered (which used to be every day; now I shower every couple of days though at the moment I often bath with the kids at night)


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

My 1 and year old get two showers a week (I'm lazy and just take them in with me), but their hair only gets washed once a week b/c DD1 hates shampoo. They get spit baths (my gramma calls them this, I'm not sure what they're really called) at least once a day .They get full body washed with soap at each shower though. DH and I shower every day. My hair gets so nasty if I go longer than that.


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## mkksmom (Mar 24, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *pianojazzgirl*
> 
> My kids are in the pool once a week too, and I wash their hair right afterwards. *For me them being in the pool is the main reason *why* I wash their hair!* Chlorine is so hard on hair! (and skin...) During breaks from swimming lessons we do often go longer than a week between hair washes. Dd gets her hair washed more often than ds because the conditioner really makes it easier to get the tangles out (ds has short hair).
> 
> Besides that we have weeks with no bath (besides post-pool shower), and weeks with 3-4 baths. It depends on a variety of factors - dirtiness being one, and also that they sometimes "need" a bath to help mellow out and calm down before bed time.


I would wash hair right after pool and my dd needs it once more mid-week now or you can smell that she needs it washed. She also needs to wash under her arms too now, so this is a recent change. Before, I'd be OK with once a week.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

While I don't think once a week is exactly overkill (considering how many people I know who do a full head-to-toe soap up every single night), it doesn't have to be weekly. My boys have short, very wiry hair (from their African daddy). They do well with a proper hair wash every 2 weeks, and in between it gets rinsed and the dust brushed out of it every now and again.


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

I try to bathe my kids at least twice a week, which used to be easy because they bathed together. But a few weeks ago Milo decided it was time to start showering alone. Sigh... Now Augie doesn't want to be in the bath anymore and Milo's not really that keen on following through with his showering. We need to figure out a new rhythm.

At any rate, they almost never use soap, but for the last six months or so Augie has been insisting on bubble bath. No shampoo for Augie but Milo uses it because he swims a lot and the pool does horrendous things to his hair. The no poo thing has been so great for Augie. His hair always looks and smells clean. I just rinse real well when he takes a bath.

The only kid I ever knew who really smelled (I mean *little* kid with clean diaper) smelled because he had his mom's BO all over him.







It was terrible because she would ask me to hold him and I almost couldn't do it.


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## MissAnthrope (Jan 31, 2011)

We do once a week MAXIMUM, unless they get really dirty, for kids 0-3. This might be because we have children with incredibly dry, sensitive skin who are miserable when bathed more often.

Most of the time, they get a bath every two weeks or so. They don't get that dirty outside the diaper area, the face, and the hands and feet. Diaper area gets a mini-wash every change, faces are wiped after just about every meal/snack, and we wash hands and feet at least twice a day. We have yet to start using soap on our nearly-2yo, although we do wash his hair with cranberry juice and put some soap in the bathwater.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mkksmom*
> 
> I would wash hair right after pool and my dd needs it once more mid-week now or you can smell that she needs it washed. She also needs to wash under her arms too now, so this is a recent change.


See here's the thing. dd can have a stinky scalp and then stand in the warm shower and her stinkyness is gone. it isnt either sweet smelling either.

yeah dd needs her armpits cleaned every other day. but she doesnt need to have a bath for that. she just rinses it out with a wash cloth.

she also rinses her elimination areas every second day.

that's why bathing is not so regular in our house.

however we dont have a regular bathing date. we take one when we feel like one or someone else says we need one (usu, that's me telling dd and she telling me 'i know, i am about to take one - said with a disgusted expression as if she didnt know). so some weeks we may go without bathing for a whole week or more (i think 10 days has been our max - at home, not camping, but it was during summer vacation) and then we may shower every day. however i have only showered twice a day v. v. rarely.


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## brneyedmama (Oct 18, 2011)

Wow, I have to admit I'm kind of surprised at some of the answers! My husband and I have had this disagreement as well -he showers everyday without fail including washing hair, and I tend to go about once a week. DD has a bath every night more for the sake of ritual than anything else and she gets her hair washed every other night. This is also due to the fact that she is only 15 months, and gets food and everything else in there. However, the one thing I have to say is, when I DO shower and wash my hair more often than once a week, I always feel better. It feels good to be clean, and I think going once a week or once every two weeks for a kiddo is way too long -but that's just me.


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

This thread fascinates me.

When DS was a baby and into his toddler years, we bathed him once a week. He had dry skin so anything more than once a week caused skin problems. We would use goat milk soap on his butt and on his hair.

Once he became super active, in the summer, we had to bath him every night. There was absolutely no way we could skip it, he was caked with dirt and mud as well as being super sweaty. By then, his skin improved so that wasn't too much of an issue. To this day, we still use goat milk or olive oil soap. He is six and during the warmer months, daily baths are a must. Now that winter in settling in, we will skip a day or two once in a while.

I am amazed there are adults that bath once a week or less. My body chemistry requires I bath daily. I have spent periods without bathing and times with trying to not use soap and it nearly drove me insane. .


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Caneel*
> 
> I am amazed there are adults that bath once a week or less. My body chemistry requires I bath daily. I have spent periods without bathing and times with trying to not use soap and it nearly drove me insane. .


I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *choli*
> 
> I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.


Up until just the last couple of months I have always showered every day. I normally can't stand to leave the house un-showered. Recently I've been skipping days because I can't seem to get a shower in before driving my oldest to school and then after that I just don't get a chance. I kinda hate it. I may have to just bite the bullet and actually get out of bed earlier. But twice a day??? I can see if it's one person's habit and they just like it. I don't see anything *wrong* with it, just wow! twice a day for everyone in the family really amazes me. I think I would feel like I was always getting in or out of the shower. My grandfather is ocd and he used to literally force everyone in his household to bathe three times a day. I remember hating to visit him for that very reason. And when I look at the photos from when I was like 8, 9, 10 from summer trips, I am almost always wrapped in a towel or have one wrapped around my head. My mother was a non-bather when I was growing up (now she showers every day like a normal person, lol). But I'm pretty sure it was in reaction to having over-bathed growing up with him.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Honestly, I'm surpised people would shower or bathe twice a day as a regular thing, without some specific reason for getting dirty again like working out at the gym or whatever. That seems wasteful to me. I'm all about keeping clean but I'm also all about conserving resources.


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## DoubleDouble (Oct 26, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *choli*
> 
> I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.


What affects being dirty: 1) climate 2) physical exertion / exercise 3) an individual's body chemistry 4) time elapsed since last bath.

There are people that don't have a lot of smell and are "hypoallergenic" and "odorless"







naturally. Up to the point of sweat not smelling (at all, even after vigorous exercise - noted by other people, "you never smell of anything") and the armpits not having any smell until 3 days after washing.

For others, it's the other end of the spectrum - smelly in a few hours after the shower.

"Dirty" for me, it's evidence-based: did I dig in the garden all day in hot summer humidity? was I on an episode of "Dirty Jobs"? did I fall into the swamp when I was hiking? did I get two hours of intense exercise? did I spill juice all over myself? am I covered with sawdust?

In humid and hot climate, the feeling is not "dirty", but "sticky" - it's annoying and for me it's worth taking a quick shower. But I don't live in Louisiana, so I don't need those everyday showers.

A day of sitting around in an air-conditioned office will not get me dirty, I know that.

Freshen-up methods are always available - bidet (or any substitute of it), washing up armpits.

So, if 1) the climate is cold and dry 2) the level of exercise is low 3) the person tends not to smell, even after exercising anyway, and skin is very dry - why shower every day or even twice a day?


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

For me, dirty is a feeling, rather than a subjective thing. We also find that showering before bed tends to cut down on allergens.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DoubleDouble*
> 
> What affects being dirty: 1) climate 2) physical exertion / exercise 3) an individual's body chemistry 4) time elapsed since last bath.
> 
> ...


I hate feeling sticky. I shower so much more in the summer b.c I just can't deal with feeling sticky. If we have a string of 90 degree humid days our water bill spikes, but it's worth it to me.


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## cristeen (Jan 20, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamazee*
> 
> Honestly, I'm surpised people would shower or bathe twice a day as a regular thing, without some specific reason for getting dirty again like working out at the gym or whatever. That seems wasteful to me. I'm all about keeping clean but I'm also all about conserving resources.


Yeah, I live in a place where water is a precious resource, and I have to keep a close eye on the water bill. If we go over our allotted usage, our bill starts spiking. On top of laundry and dishes and the toilet and a kid who loves washing his hands, bathing twice a day would break the bank. Not to mention the additional laundry from the towels.

When the temperature spikes around here (a handful of days a year), we'll take a quick rinse in the shower before bed, so we can go to bed not feeling sticky, but that's usually the both of us in the same shower for about 2 minutes. There's no way that 2 full showers a day (every day) would ever work for me though - my skin gets far too dry just from the water exposure. Even just from doing the dishes.


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## jennybear (Sep 4, 2007)

DD (almost 2) gets a bath virtually every night, and that includes washing her hair (occasionally we will skip if we're out later than usual).

She goes to daycare and they do a ton of sensory activities, painting (they strip them down and let them paint on themselves, etc.), outdoor time, etc. so she is FILTHY when she comes home.She is also the world's messiest eater. So, between that and her love of water, it's easiest to just do bath every night. Luckily, we've had no issues with skin drying/sensitivity.

When she was a baby (pre solids), it was more like once/week.


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *choli*
> 
> For me, dirty is a feeling, rather than a subjective thing. We also find that showering before bed tends to cut down on allergens.


I'm curious about what kind of allergens you mean. I'm horribly allergic to dust mites and if it'd help with that I might try it. It seems though, that since they eat the dead skin in your bed (this horrifies me, btw), over-dry skin would be a bad idea. I don't think I could require my hubby to do it, though, and if it was only one of us, I don't know that I'd see a difference.


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## grumpybear (Oct 5, 2006)

DS is in kindergarten so he showers nightly.

DD is 2 and past the stage where food gets all over her (back then, I'd spray her down after every meal) so she has a shower every other day.

Their hair gets washed everytime they are in the shower and they both get baths once/week.

I grew up in a very hot and humid climate and we showered twice daily. I'm not sure if this is the reason for my dependence on a daily shower. Because if I do not get a shower (or skip washing my hair), I get flu-like symptoms and start running a low grade fever.That and my husband says that I'm grumpy until I've had my shower. LOL


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

At that age I probably bathed them about twice a week. I only did hair about once - we are all prone to dry hair and my oldest in particular hated having his hair done.

At this point in time, my girls seem to do their hair about every second day, my son is about twice a week, I am twice a week, and my husband is daily. All make up there own minds based on when they feel the need.

OP - There are shampoo bars available as well as shampoos that do not foam as much - maybe that will help with the washing hair drama?


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

We always shower after swimming. I can always feel the chlorine on my body and it trashes your hair.

Ds is 11 and usually smells like dirty dog  He plays sports 5 days a week and they play football every day at recess...he's active and smelly. Thankfully it's not a battle to make him shower.

Dd has butt length hair and we wash it once a week. She doesn't get a stinky head for some reason, no matter how long we go. It's been two weeks right now because there is a lice thing going on at school and lice like clean hair. I'm keeping her dirty. She takes a bath every other day, sometimes more, sometimes less. It's winter so she's not getting hot and sweaty often, so a few times a week is fine for her.


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## Emilymum (Nov 29, 2011)

IMHO it's a matter of what feels right to you as a person and as a mum. My two DD's are 9 & 11, they have a shower every other day and wash and condition their hair each time. They wash faces, hands and other bits in between. That said, this is winter. We live in Greece, so it is perfectly normal to have as many as 4 showers a day in summer.... it reaches 45 degrees celcius and they are in and out of the sea and the pool so we factor in removing salt and chlorine.. We use a protective spray on their hair to combat the salt and chlorine but it never completely works.

For us adults in summer its the same, one when you get up, one when you get home, one after siesta, then one when you get in from work. We run a bar so are doing physical stuff all day long, and the stickiness is just too much to bear!!

For me it's all about how I feel. I LOVE a quick shower in summer just for those 10 seconds of coolness when I get out. In winter I actually prefer a long hot soak in the bath and would do this every day if I could get away with it.

Emily x


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Uh, yeah, "dirty" is a relative term. As has been explained.

We would literally not be able to afford groceries if we were all showering twice daily. We live in one of the highest water-cost areas of the region. Holy cow, just thinking about what the bill would be like gives me the shivers.







lol


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## silversparrow (Oct 21, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *coldandsleepy*
> 
> My son (a little over 2) gets a bad case of stinky scalp after a few days, and has only recently really gotten over having cradle cap (which smelled horrid). We've found that washing his hair 2 or 3 times a week is sufficient to keep him fresh. He sometimes gets bonus hair washes if he does things like play in the sandbox and dump sand in his hair.


The cure for cradle cap is tea tree shampoo, and conditioner too, if the shampoo dries his skin. Cradle cap is fungal and the tea tree kills it.


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## Everrgreen (Feb 27, 2007)

My son is almost 3 and rarely has a shower or bath. Maybe once or twice a month? And even then I don't shampoo his hair. He doesn't smell, he isn't dirty, his hair is never oily (he doesn't have much of it yet). His hands and face get washed daily. He did have more baths in the summer but even then it was probably only once a week.

I shower every day in the summer and every other day the rest of the year.


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## coldandsleepy (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *silversparrow*
> 
> The cure for cradle cap is tea tree shampoo, and conditioner too, if the shampoo dries his skin. Cradle cap is fungal and the tea tree kills it.


Tea tree shampoo/conditioner had absolutely no effect on his scalp despite months of regular use. Nor did oiling his scalp & combing out the gunk, which is another thing people often suggest. The combing would get rid of it temporarily, but in a matter of days it'd be back. Believe me, we tried everything for him. We eventually settled on just combing it out gently after we'd bathe him and after many many months of doing this, it stopped regenerating.

He *still* has a stinky head if we don't wash him every few days, though, even though the cradle cap is gone. I think he has the same tendency towards oily scalp that my husband has. (Which is probably better than getting my scalp, which is bone dry no matter what.)


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

My kids (2,4) get baths most days and hair washes every three days. Their hair looks less than clean by the time we wash it. DH would wash it more if I would let him. To me, a week seems like the maximum but I know some cultures and perhaps people of different ethnicities need different hair care.

Also the 2 year old still has cradle cap and tee tree has had no effect. The only thing that makes a difference is scraping her scalp which, surprise, she hates. Olive oil makes it come off easier but she still hates it. Which would be the reason she still hates it.

As for the adults, we bathe at least once a day. Every adult I've ever know who claimed they weren't stinky, didn't use soap, didn't use deodorant of some type etc. etc. fill in the blank "natural" claims reeked to high heaven BO or crotch rot or some even worse "unknown" smell.

FInally, I am not Korean but I do go to an amazing Korean spa ever few months for a top to bottom. Takes every piece of dead skin off me and feels wonderful. There is something really life affirming and wonderful standing around naked with a bunch of Korean and Russians from age 2 to 92.


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## silversparrow (Oct 21, 2011)

Have you guys tried doing the tea tree alone without doing olive oil? Because I've heard with fungus (including yeast infections on nipples) that moisturizing gives it a place to grow (just like sweaty shoe for athletes foot). I never used the olive oil, and I know quite a few people that the tea tree has worked for. But maybe you have particularly bad cases, and you might want to try an anti-fungal cream and drying with a hair dryer after bathing...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *coldandsleepy*
> 
> Tea tree shampoo/conditioner had absolutely no effect on his scalp despite months of regular use. Nor did oiling his scalp & combing out the gunk, which is another thing people often suggest.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JudiAU*
> 
> Also the 2 year old still has cradle cap and tee tree has had no effect. The only thing that makes a difference is scraping her scalp which, surprise, she hates. Olive oil makes it come off easier but she still hates it.


Edit: I don't mean to sound pushy, I've battled alot of skin problems in my family and I know how hard it is for everyone


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Imakcerka*
> 
> I wonder about if I'm allowing mine to bathe too often? Though the days they go a weekend without bathing there are complaints about irritation in the girl parts. I'm that way too though. I can go a day or too but then I don't feels so fresh... I've tried just having them take a *Whore bath*, but they prefer a shower. Though their skin does get pretty dry too.


Lovely term. Thanks.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *choli*
> 
> I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.


I can't imagine having the shower run that much on a regular basis.

My kids take a bath about once a week. DD might jump in the shower with me an extra time or two. The kids don't generally soap up in the tub, but the shampoo runoff does a great job, as does sitting in the nice warm water.

OP, when my kids have swimming lessons or are at our swim club, they generally shower there before we come home. Gets that chlorine off right away and saves a step at home.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

My big 2 (3 and 5) get baths every other day. My baby.. not enough IMO. About once a week. I think twice a week would be better for her.

I know some kids IRL who do the whole 'infrequent' bathing thing and it IS noticeable, IMO.


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## AnnaBees Mama (Jul 9, 2011)

DH takes a shower in the morning and a shower-bath combo in the evening to wind down. he was the stinky kid growing up so now he has a complex...

I take a full head to toe shower with soap every 2-3 days. Everyday if I can manage it- i tend to get stinky fast. I feel so renewed when if showered.

DD is bathed every night, though sometimes we skip if we're being lazy or we are out of our normal routine anyway.

DH and I always use soap, we skip out on it a lot with DD except when she has stink going on. Her hair is super short still so it gets washed 1x a weekish

Kids I can understand going long long stretches (unless diapers or other daily irritant is involved). Adolescents and adults really need to stay on top of it though. How often varies from person to person, but IMO if your hair is stuck together with body grease and you smell like butt, you need to be bathing more than you are! SIL only requires our 15 year old nephew to shower every two days--- every time we see him his hair is greasy and he stinks. My MIL has always had serious stink, like a mix of dirt and crotch rot, yet she'll stay for a 3-day weekend and not shower once. Sitting near her feet, using the bathroom after her, and sitting with her in the car are majorly offensive to my nose.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Do we need a full shower to get rid of the smells?

either everyday or every alternate we do our bits. so localized cleaning. one doesnt need to take a shower to be less stinky. however that's a personal choice.

i was used to taking two showers a day. i grew up where u needed to - due to not only climate, but also pollution.

once i changed residences it changed to once a day, then fewer. now that i do localized cleaning some times i can go a week without bathing. usually though that means taking a quick shampoo in the sink. if necessary.


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JudiAU*
> 
> As for the adults, we bathe at least once a day. Every adult I've ever know who claimed they weren't stinky, didn't use soap, didn't use deodorant of some type etc. etc. fill in the blank "natural" claims reeked to high heaven BO or crotch rot or some even worse "unknown" smell.


Gosh, I'm gonna try not to get a complex about this. I am very, very sensitive to commercial deodorants and deodorant stones. Like the rash I get is un-f'ing-bearable. So I use coconut oil mixed with baking soda and corn starch.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rubidoux*
> 
> So I use coconut oil mixed with baking soda and corn starch.


tribes who lived in the dessert area usually take a dry mud bath - no water. so i experimented and tried things like dirt, flour (of different things that i could find like beans) and for me it was just like using soap. my skin felt fabulous. baking soda i still find too harsh on my skin directly. never thought about doing coconut together.

however i have used soap berries too. that some use to do laundry actually. and it does a GREAT job with my hair and skin. its too expensive for me. but it blows my mind that there's a fruit that's dried and it is soapy - hardly any foam.

interesting story. i was about dd's age and travelling. i can still remember being told that we were in an urban where a tribe comes through to sell grains they grew. they never smell. i dont know their bathing habits, but i remember running across them in the afternoon when they were going home, and they absolutely had NO BO. the no BO which for that season and time of day was just amazing still had an impact on me.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rubidoux*
> 
> Gosh, I'm gonna try not to get a complex about this. I am very, very sensitive to commercial deodorants and deodorant stones. Like the rash I get is un-f'ing-bearable. So I use coconut oil mixed with baking soda and corn starch.


Ha. Tell me about it. After many years of use I started to have weird reactions to antiperspirant which gave me just weird and horrible smells so I switched to Tom's of Maine deodorant which gave me rashes. Finally switched to a handmade deodorant from easy (Soapwalla). All natural and no stink.


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## Tamsin (Dec 20, 2009)

My daughters are 5 and 9, they have a shower everyday. (sure we skip the ODD day here and there if we are reallly busy) That includes soap all over, and conditioner in their hair. They shampoo AND condition their hair probaly twice a week. My husband and I shower at least once daily. It is socially/culturally unacceptable to not shower daily where we live, and I start to feel dirty if I dont. I think a daily shower with soap etc. is good hygiene and we dont wait until someone stinks before we wash.


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## MrsGregory (Dec 21, 2011)

I shower twice a day. Yes, I am that woman. I have really dry, sensitive skin and I've found that breaking up my grooming into two parts has actually helped. I won't bore you with the details, but different tasks are done at different times except shampooing which may wait up to a week if I'm just not in the mood to deal with it. I do work out in the early part of the day, and I'd prefer not to face the world with my yoga-funk. I hate climbing in bed dirty, and if I crawled around on the floor cleaning up crumbs or cat hair, or walked to the store, or generally just went about my day, I feel dirty.

Daughter, who is 3.5 mos. is bathed daily, at night, as part of her nighty-night routine. I use soap and shampoo on her 3-4 times a week, or more if needed. If she poops all the way up her back, it's needed. Her skin is gorgeous. She DEMANDS her bath, too. After last feeding you have about 5 minutes to get her into nice warm water, or she pitches a fit. (She also will let you know if her diaper is dirty in no uncertain terms.)

I'm aware that I probably don't need to bathe quite as much as I do, but I want to be frank here: I skeeve people I suspect have not showered in over 48 hours. I'm not sure I can always tell - probably can't, to be fair - but if you or your child has a thin film of crud, yes, yes I am backing away slowly. And no, no you cannot hold my daughter. Sorry. I look at this along the same lines as my extreme aversion to eating food that came from a kitchen I know or suspect is not cleaned daily. If I look in your car and see garbage on the floor board, I'm not eating whatever you brought to the potluck. I still like you, but I ain't eatin' it.

I want to end with a smile.


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## coffeegirl (Jan 1, 2008)

I could have written 95% of your post, MrsGregory.

I'm known in my family for being a "clean freak", "neurotic", etc. I admit that I am to some extent. I'm just happier when I'm clean and when everything around me is clean and ordered. When I'm happier, my dd is happier, my husband is happier, etc.


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## coffeegirl (Jan 1, 2008)

To answer the OP: I think part of it depends on the kid's age. From your siggy, looks like your kids are roughly 1 and 2 years older than my daughter. My dd is in the bathtub every day or sometimes every other day. We either make it part of her nighttime routine, or do it earlier in the day if she's been out and about and playing at the park, etc. She doesn't have a whole lot of hair and her skin is really sensitive, so I only actually use soap maybe 1-2 times a week. Otherwise, it's just a good rinse and a scrub on her scalp with very warm water.

One a week, to me, is the BARE minimum and less than that is yucky to me. And the pool is so, SO not eqivalent to bathing! Quite the opposite, in fact.


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## coffeegirl (Jan 1, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *DoubleDouble*
> 
> My husband smells like cumin and spices, too! He doesn't get stinky (not for a few days), he smells awesome!


You know....it's weird, but my husband (who has a short, trimmed beard) sometimes has an odd smell in his beard before he showers. It's kind of a smoky smell; I told him that it reminded me of pepper-roasting season in New Mexico. And it never has anything to do with what he's eaten.

Now that yall are mentioning it here, I can finally place the smell-- it smells like cumin. A spice which I never use, btw. What a weird mystery, huh?


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## MrsGregory (Dec 21, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *coffeegirl*
> 
> I could have written 95% of your post, MrsGregory.
> 
> I'm known in my family for being a "clean freak", "neurotic", etc. I admit that I am to some extent. I'm just happier when I'm clean and when everything around me is clean and ordered. When I'm happier, my dd is happier, my husband is happier, etc.


Yeppers. My clean-freakiness comes from my family though - so I get very little guff about it from them. I get guff from the gal pals, sometimes. That sucks. I respect your choice to not wash your dishes every day. Please understand that when I ask you to wait 10 minutes so I can wash mine, I want the same silent courtesy.

I also really, really hate it when un-tidy people assume I am judging the heck out of them and about to vomit in my mouth just being in their messy and perhaps downright dirty home. Am I a bit uncomfortable sitting on a year's worth of cat hair? Will I drink the coffee you offer me from a suspicious mug? Yes, and no. But I am no more uncomfortable in your home than you are in mine. I see you glaring at my cream carpet. I know what you're wondering. Yes, yes I do have shares of Resolve Carpet Cleaner's parent company. Yes, I will cry if you drop your tea.

Seriously. Just because I am the way I am doesn't mean I begrudge you the way you are. Relax. Stop apologizing for the mess. Offer me a lint-roller when I stand up. :-D


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

I bath twice a day. Hair every other day. My kids bath every day too. Anything less than this is just gross to me.

People do not notice their own or their kids smell. Everyone else does.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Polliwog*
> 
> I can't imagine having the shower run that much on a regular basis.


Me, either. That would cost me a fortune, and we don't have a big enough hot water tank for everyone to do that, anyway. We'd be showering all day.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I'm trying to imagine bathing all 6 of us on a daily basis during the very limited hours we are home. Just not possible. I'm guessing some must live in places where hot water isn't a concern or have MASSIVE hot water tanks. We are limited to one bath/shower per every 1.5 hours in the winter. And even then I don't have enough hot water to wash hair, body and shave at the same time. The water is just too cold and I run through the hot water so quickly. When it is warmer in the summer, we can get two quick showers out of one tank, really quick showers are the key. I've already posted on this thread but our bathing is a carefully staggered event morning and night. Adults take turns in the mornings every other day, 2 kids a night, the next night, the other two.

We spent a year when I was growing up with no hot water. We warmed water we had to haul from 10 miles away near a fire, poured it into a 5 gallon bucket that we had outfitted with a nozzle. That bucket had to last for two people. Needless to say daily showers did not happen.


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## Kirstyandgirls (Nov 8, 2007)

I aim for twice a week baths with hair washing once a week and nail trimming once a week but I dont always manage it. Sometimes they get really dirty and i chuck them in the bath randomly. Mine are 3 and 7. I shower daily and wash my hair every 3-4 days but I'm an adult and get sweaty.

I realy should bath them more, they often look a bit grimy!


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## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

My girls are 5 and 7 and they bathe every other day due to eczema. Sometimes we'll skip a bath day but not usually...definitely not in the summer. We live in the desert and it's gross outside in the summer.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

I bathe my kids every day because a) it's soothes them/gets them in mind for bed b) they do so much art that their hands and often faces are covered with ink, oil pastel, paint, etc. c) if I don't, they both get stingy bottoms. In summer we wash hair every day and in winter, every other.

My kids are really active and we live in a rural area with woods, dirt, etc. Also, we have two big dogs that shed, and despite frequent grooming/vacuuming, there is a fair amount of dogness to be removed.

My husband and I shower basically every day. But I love going wild while camping or when on spiritual retreat. I actually dig the greasy hair and layer of camp fire/dirt on me. 

Another factor to our every day bathing: *ticks.* We live in a super high lyme area, and for much of the year, it's a great idea to be naked, focused on your body and running your hands through your hair at the end of the day.

*Other cultures: you might be surprised.* I lived in two very rural areas of west africa, and people there bathed TWICE daily as a rule. Yes, it was just a bucket of water and bar soap efficiently used, but people couldn't imagine not wanting to freshen up and then get all the dust off at the end of the day. When I was in the urban areas, on crowded buses, it was so unlike the NYC buses/subways ... people in Africa, as a rule, are super clean. Us Americans are a stinky lot, even with our showers and deoderants ... in West Africa, at least where I've travelled, you can take a deep breath on public transportation without fear!


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## Vrai (Nov 25, 2011)

Every day. My partner and I often shower together, DD too with one of the two of us, and if not, she showers by herself. It's our nightly ritual.

I shower twice daily. Once at night, which is longer and more to relax, scrub the day's grime off me, get ready for bed. Once in the morning, which is a quick in and out with a shower cap on, to wake myself up. DD will often join me then too, she loves water. We forego the morning shower in favour of a swim if we're in a place with a pool.

I agree with Subhuti's assessment of other cultures. Most of my time abroad has been all over Asia rather than in Africa, but same story. Almost universally, people are cleaner than in N. America. It's very hard to come back to the US or Canada after that, because you find disgust in other people. I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and it overwhelms me when I come back to the city after being away for a while. It's disgusting.

You can eat off the streets of Singapore, they're so clean, and the people are as clean as their city.

People in rural India and Nepal have little means for anything but bare survival, yet they're exceptionally clean and keep their bodies, spaces, and food clean. North Americans and western Europeans have excess and means for excess of just about everything, except personal hygiene.

England was the worst. Maybe not any more, but 20 years ago it sure was. One summer break, between 3rd and 4th grade for me (I was 7, turning 8 over summer) my mom took us travelling. We'd been in Taiwan - beautiful, clean, orderly Taiwan, where we and everyone else bathed at least every other day, even if they had to visit a public bath - for 2 months and were stopping over for our last month abroad in England. We stayed with a lovely family, friends of my mom's from way back, and the first day was great. Second day was great. Their daughter was my age and we made fast friends. Then the third, fourth and fifth day came, and still no one ELSE had taken a bath. My mom, brother and I had discreetly asked to shower on the third day, they acted a little bewildered - didn't we just shower the night we got there? They indulged us, mercifully. Finally I could take no more of the other girl's odour and just slept with my mom. The 7th day there was a Tuesday and the family's three kids were all dragged, kicking and screaming, to their weekly bath. The whole family bathed on Tuesday and no more.

And it. Was. Gross. They didn't think anything of it, my brother made some juvenile comment to the girl about her smelling and no one in her family thought she smelled. But she did. Badly. And it wasn't like these people didn't have hot water or the means to run it. They were well off, middle-Englanders in a prosperous time, and when water was insanely cheap. It just wasn't in their culture to bathe often, and most of the other people we met there seemed to have the same ideas, by the tell-tale-stench.

Even if YOU don't think you or your kids smell after not bathing in many days, trust me, YOU DO. Even if you're not getting dirty or really sweaty, you do sweat, especially at night, and you do get dirty even if you don't leave the house.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

gosh people are stinky everywhere. i dont think you can point to a country and say one is less stinkier than the other.

i grew up in a few asian countries. i would never ever say they were the cleanest. what was worse was the scented powder they used to hide the smell.

however in many areas where it was humid and hot, it wasnt all about stink from body. even if you took baths twice a day but didnt change your clothes (changed your underwear but not outerwear) you would still stink.

coming from an asian country my experience has certainly not been that N America is stinkier than Asia. in fact its just the opposite.

and for many of those people - those who were really poor, living in cities in the ghettos - they rarely had enough water to stay as clean as they would like to.

urban ghettos are the stinkiest no matter where you do - whichever end of the globe you are in.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I can occasionally smell other people's body odour, but it doesn't bother me, unless it's just vile and rank (heavy drinkers who haven't bathed recently are impossible to be close to, for instance). I, personally, don't think daily showers and baths are even remotely necessary for the majority of people (my dad took a bath every day...but he'd also spent that whole day hauling furniture up and down stairs, packing stuff into a truck, getting dust on himself, etc....my ex used to shower daily when he was doing drywall installation, too).

I've never travelled outside of North America (and it's likely that I never will), but I've also noticed that North Americans can really stink. However, I've found the offenders to be hair spray, perfume, cologne, after shave, scented cleaning products, etc. on many, many, many more occasions than I've been even remotely bothered by someone's natural body odour.


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## AbbyGrant (Jan 12, 2012)

I think it depends on the kid and the circumstances.

My 3 year old gets a bath daily because it's part of his routine. I couldn't skip it even if I wanted to. He's still in diapers and frequently gets stuff in his hair, so a daily bath is probably a good thing anyway. If his hair is particularly clean, I might skip washing it with soap.

With my 6 year old, it's on an as needed basis. During the school year, especially during the coldest months, she might only get a bath or shower once a week. During the warmer months and especially over the summer, it might be as often as daily depending on what she's been doing. I'm sure as she gets older and develops some body odor, she might start needing to bathe more often, but for now she always smells lovely.


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