# co-sleeping as newborn-only fad?



## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

I have met quite a few parents recently who co-slept for the first few months of their babies' lives but at 4 months, 6 months, 7 months, etc, are transitioning them to a crib in their own room. It's like they have read the Baby Book, they like the AP concept, but feel it is only for a short time while the baby is very young. Maybe similar to mothers who breastfeed successfully for a few months but then feel they have done their job and it's time to move on. A parent explained to me the other day that their baby wouldn't have understood Ferberizing at four months but at seven months she can understand why she is being put in a crib alone and cries because she is angry, not because she is feeling abandoned. It just surprises me because co-sleeping seems like one of those things you get hooked on early that would connect you so closely to your baby you wouldn't want to change. But I guess that's not true. It's weird to meet parents where you feel you are on the same page as them but then it turns out AP was like a brief stage for them and not an overall choice. I definitely don't mean this post to be a dumping session on parents who don't co-sleep, but curious if anyone else has noticed this as a trend?


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Yes, I have definately noticed this trend. It is better that nothing I guess, but disturbing none the less


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## zannster (Aug 12, 2004)

I think it can be a few things...

--they're most concerned about the baby's health (during sleep) when it's young and can't turn over
--they felt the need to co-sleep (for their sanity) with the newborn but weren't really motivated to do it otherwise
--they don't want to deal with an older, active child whom they won't be able to keep out of the bed, so they transition young

I know a couple of moms who transitioned when the baby was less than a year old, and these seemed to be their reasons.

I was of the impression (read it here, I think) that the Sears' transitioned their children at about a year old. Maybe that was just gossip?







Does that count in your example?


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

These people might have a very easygoing child who sleeps a lot at night ,early, and doesn't protest sleeping in a crib. So they might feel an easygoing child "outgrows" needing AP. But I feel AP helps kids thrive whether they are vocal about asking for attention at night or not.

In a case like I'm describing it wouldn't bother me, if it were because of a mellow baby.


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## Patchfire (Dec 11, 2001)

I have heard it, and I guess I can see both sides of the equation.

If you don't want to take a chance on a five year old that still sleeps with you - and some people don't - it is easier to make the transition before they reach an older age.

Beyond that, I have talked to several people lately who have verbally acknowledged to me that they think cosleeping is safer for newborns and young infants - apparently something is getting out there into the mainstream! So if there are people who feel this way about cosleeping, as primarily a form of SIDS prevention/reassurance, then it follows that they would move the baby out of their bed once the peak time for SIDS had past.


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## jani (Jul 25, 2006)

OK,
Let me add that I would like my babies to sleep for some period of time in a crib or bassinet during the night because I sleep so poorly with baby even though I love it too. And I have two children. I have done a lot of sleeping with my babies - it isn't from lack of doing it and getting used to it.

I don't believe in CIO, I don't think they are better off without me, I don't think co-sleeping is dangerous. However I do think that when I feel like a zombie I actual can be a much worse parent than if I get a little more sleep and can open my eyes in the morning. If that means my baby sleeps for part of the night in a cradle 4 inches away from me that is ok too.

Thank You,
Jani


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## rosie_plus_one (Aug 11, 2005)

I agree with Jani - I enjoyed cosleeping with my son, and did it until he was about 8 months old I think, and am now trying to transition him into his crib. I find it very difficult to stay still in my sleep, I roll frequently and as the weather is getting colder I like the blankets wrapped tightly around my head. If my son is in bed, I sleep very poorly - uncomfortable, stiff, not deeply asleep. I think he also sleeps better not having me crash into him every half an hour.

I struggled with it when he was little because I knew he needed me to be there, but I feel like he's a bit older, a bit more independent, and I think he prefers his crib. I know though that when he's sick, he prefers our arms, and that's fine with us.

I think it's a babies needs compromised with parents needs.


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## bauchtanz (Nov 15, 2005)

I know quite a few parents who have done this. And none of them have left baby to cry it out. Some just need thier space. It seems to me that this is more the norm than sleeping with them at older ages of 4 or 5.

For me - I have VIVID memories of my parents trying to wean me from co-sleeping (with my grandparents) at age 3 or 4 or something. I remember standing on the dining room table screaming at the top of my lungs and my father coming down stairs and pleading with me to just go to bed in my own room. This is why I didn't want to co-sleep in the first place and my DD was in her bassinette for the first 3 months. Then, I basically resigned to having her in my bed because I am alone at night, without help, and I was afraid I was going to drop her I was so tired.









I love my DD, but I don't want to sleep with her when she is 3 or 4. I want my bed back. I am glad I co-sleep now, but I worry about when it will need to end.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Well, even if it is a fad, it's a good fad. (Not the ferberizing, of course....)

I think that many parents don't plan on co-sleeping, but realize their infant has other ideas. So they go along with it, with a time table of how long they will co-sleep.

Also, many people realize as their babies grow, they actually sleep better alone than next to them. Sidecar sleeping is a good option. This was the case with us, ds moved into his own crib by 6 or 7 months, he slept best there.

The important thing, IMO, is even if the co-sleeping stops, the nighttime parenting does not stop.


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## ecoteat (Mar 3, 2006)

I love cosleeping now, but I don't envision us doing it long-term. For now, with frequent night feedings, it makes the most sense, but if dd goes back to sleeping through the night like she did when she was 2 months, I'd consider trying the crib or cradle.


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## Gem'sMama (Aug 9, 2006)

I'm a little confused about what you are saying BrklynMama. It sounds to me from your post as if you are saying if you don't cosleep past some predetermined age, you're not AP anymore. Or because you stop cosleeping, you are going to Ferberize. Am I getting you wrong?


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

I feel like I rubbed some folks the wrong way. I really did not intend my post as a slam on non-co-sleepers or former co-sleepers. I was just interested that it seems like more and more people just take for granted that co-sleep is what you do when the baby is very little but that a transition is in order a few months after birth. That's not necessarily wrong unless CIO is involved, and sadly that seems to be the case for the IRL folks who prompted my post. Not, of course, for MDC mamas who have simply found that everyone sleeps better with a little more space.

You know, to me if the baby is in the same room with you, whether in bassinet, sidecar, or whatever, that is still a kind of co-sleeping. To me having the baby nearby is what's important - not just because of the security it imparts but because responsiveness and needed night nursing is so much more likely to happen under those circumstances.

Anyway, I'm sorry if I made anyone feel like they had to defend their choices, that was not my intention at all. Thanks for providing some reasons why it might happen that co-sleeping would be a briefer period than might be expected. I think Hoopin' Mama said it best: "The important thing, IMO, is even if the co-sleeping stops, the nighttime parenting does not stop." ITA, HM!


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## Gem'sMama (Aug 9, 2006)

Thanks for clarifying.


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## smilla653 (Jul 11, 2005)

Quote:

The important thing, IMO, is even if the co-sleeping stops, the nighttime parenting does not stop.
As the OP already pointed out, this hits the nail on the head.

I do kind of know what you're talking about, but I see it more in BFing than cosleeping. I've never understood why you would get through the first six months (the hardest, IMO) and then not hang out for the payoff (everything thereafter) but to each his own. It seems some exposure to all the AP literature has extended people's ideas about babies' dependency, but only a little bit. The cultural pressure to have your baby sleep in another room is still quite strong.

My MIL kept saying "A time will come! A time will come!" ("When you have to get that baby out of your bed"). My DH just laughs at her and says, "I suppose, in the abstract, that's true, but this is NOT the time!"


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gem'sMama*
I'm a little confused about what you are saying BrklynMama. It sounds to me from your post as if you are saying if you don't cosleep past some predetermined age, you're not AP anymore. Or because you stop cosleeping, you are going to Ferberize. Am I getting you wrong?

Oh dear, I have turned into my worst nightmare, classifying people as AP or not AP. Actually, this is kind of fun, usually I'm the one who's not considered AP enough! I will have to link to this thread the next time someone zaps me for vaxing or not CDing!

Now I am having to think about this issue a little more carefully than when I blithely started the thread. I guess my ideal for how long you would co-sleep would be for as long as the baby needs it. I'm sure that's different for different babies, so no way to predetermine. But if the baby is having a hard time with the transition and crying a lot, that's too early in my book. I do think in most cases - there may be exceptions, such as sleeping in the same room with a sibling instead - it's best for a baby to sleep in the same room with his/her parents for at least the first year.


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gem'sMama*
Thanks for clarifying.









You're welcome!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I am just in the process of transitioning my baby out of my bed into her crib (which, yes, is 4 inches away from the bed). Why? Because I want to sleep again. With my husband. When she is in the bed with me she wants to nurse every hour or two plus she is very squirmy. That might be totally normal but it turned me into a sleep-deprived zombie heading right back into the PPD-hell I just got out of. So yeah, I'm moving her into a crib. I'm not non-AP and I think most people who do this do it for the same reason. I really strongly doubt that anyone is going right from cosleeping to Ferberizing. It would just be weird. And as a PP said, if cosleeping with very small infants is a fad, it's a good one.


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## Gem'sMama (Aug 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy*
I really strongly doubt that anyone is going right from cosleeping to Ferberizing. It would just be weird.

Sarah - Sadly, I have heard of people doing this. I agree...very weird and very mean. Even Ferber himself said it is cruel to all of the sudden change the rules on a baby. I just don't understand people sometimes. Anyway, best of luck with the transition to the crib. FWIW, I think it is very AP to know your limits and to take care of yourself so you can take better care of your baby







.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

Quote:

I was of the impression (read it here, I think) that the Sears' transitioned their children at about a year old. Maybe that was just gossip? Does that count in your example?
I think this is just gossip, i remember vividly reading in his fussy baby book and the high needs child, where he talks about co-sleeping with his toddlers and older children, and because they had older kids, sometimes once the kids transitioned out of the parents bed they slept with older siblings.

I think its a terrible trend, but any time the chilkd gets to co-sleep is better than nothing, especially if its in that vuneruble needy newborn time when they are still transitioning out of the womb.


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy*
I really strongly doubt that anyone is going right from cosleeping to Ferberizing. It would just be weird. .

Yes, it IS weird. That is exactly what prompted my post! Because I ran into someone who is Ferberizing at 7 months after co-sleeping, and it just surprised me that he could steel himself to do this. I was curious if others have encountered the same.

And Spughy, I get what you are saying, but my post came out of talking to people who are NOT transitioning into a crib next to the bed, but rather transitioning to a crib in a separate room and oftentimes letting the baby cry. My DD spends half the night in a mattress next to our mattress, for Pete's sake. I am NOT a co-sleeping fanatical purist.

I'm gonna leave this thread alone now. Wishing I had never started it because it just seems to have aroused bad feelings...


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

it could be that people are now paying attention to the fact that ferber says not to do it until after 6mths.......so they co-sleep because its easier in the firs part, then turn to ferberizing at the allocated "age"


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## Gem'sMama (Aug 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
I'm gonna leave this thread alone now. Wishing I had never started it because it just seems to have aroused bad feelings...









Don't feel bad. Just a little misunderstanding. I think everyone probably understands where you are coming from now.


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## rowansmomma (Feb 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
I guess my ideal for how long you would co-sleep would be for as long as the baby needs it. I'm sure that's different for different babies, so no way to predetermine. But if the baby is having a hard time with the transition and crying a lot, that's too early in my book. I do think in most cases - there may be exceptions, such as sleeping in the same room with a sibling instead - it's best for a baby to sleep in the same room with his/her parents for at least the first year.

I tell people we USED to co sleep, because we did. He slept with me from the moment he came home until he was about 7 or 8 months when he just wouldn't do it anymore. He fussed, he fidgeted, he was fitful......then one night I decided to try his crib and it was the FIRST night he slept through the night. Up until that point he couldn't go one hour without nursing in bed with me, but the moment he was in his crib, he slept all night. Sure, he'd wake up once in awhile for a boobie.......but no biggie, I had a full size bed in his room too so I'd just go in there with him.

Anyway, my CHILD determined when he was done cosleeping, not me. I let him lead the way. I don't see how that is not AP?

(and ftr, the little monkey will still ONLY sleep with me when he's upset......he's two and a half and I still try to bribe him into my bed!!)


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

we had a similar thing with ds as a newborn, he didnt sleep well with me until around 2mths and he started teething.....he LOVED his bassinet, but since 2mths, he hasnt slept anywhere but with mommy or near mommy while napping.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
I'm gonna leave this thread alone now. Wishing I had never started it because it just seems to have aroused bad feelings...

Don't fret about it. It aroused some guilt in me because I really wanted cosleeping to work out and I'm kind of angry at myself (stupid, I know) that it didn't. And, oddly enough, I'm mad at MY parents now for never having me sleep in bed with them and keeping me in a crib/bed by myself for my whole life so I grew up unable to sleep with someone else touching me... I can barely cosleep with my husband, for crying out loud. Anyway, Issues with a capital I. I'm sure I'm not the only one with 'em.


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Thanks, Spughy and Gem's Mama, for reassuring me.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy*
Don't fret about it. It aroused some guilt in me because I really wanted cosleeping to work out and I'm kind of angry at myself (stupid, I know) that it didn't. And, oddly enough, I'm mad at MY parents now for never having me sleep in bed with them and keeping me in a crib/bed by myself for my whole life so I grew up unable to sleep with someone else touching me... I can barely cosleep with my husband, for crying out loud. Anyway, Issues with a capital I. I'm sure I'm not the only one with 'em.

Our babies are very close in age and we are having big sleep issues too! I think this is a really transitional time and tough on everyone.

About the guilt issue, I think it's very interesting, because lots of us on MDC have a tendency to feel guilty if we don't measure up to a model of childrearing that can be very hard because of our own cultural context. For example, I do feel that I need time and space alone every day (not that I very often get it) but when that is said on MDC, there is occasionally the response that this is not an appropriate desire when you have an infant, and that cultures the world over don't even have a concept for such individualism because it is so unnatural. But frankly I can't help the fact that I was raised in the US in a context where being alone became important to my wellbeing. Likewise, one could say, how can anyone have trouble co-sleeping? This is what everyone does all over the world except in the US! There is something wrong with you if you can't do what the other millions of mamas do! But if one's been in one's own bed one's whole life, it's genuinely tough...just as it might be for a Kung San mama, for example, to sleep alone. We are creatures of our culture as much as hunter-gatherer tribes are creatures of theirs...feeling personal guilt for this is not rational (doesn't mean that many of us don't feel guilty anyway!) I think it's great if we can find compromises that respect the stone-age needs of our babies without destroying ourselves in the bargain - and a crib next to the bed may be just the ticket for lots of us...

Sorry for running on - that's what happens when one reads Our Babies, Ourselves and thinks too hard!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
Sorry for running on - that's what happens when one reads Our Babies, Ourselves and thinks too hard!

Bwa ha ha! I have the same problem!


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## CalBearMama (Sep 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
A parent explained to me the other day that their baby wouldn't have understood Ferberizing at four months but at seven months she can understand why she is being put in a crib alone and cries because she is angry, not because she is feeling abandoned.

This explanation really struck me because we have a rule in our house (or try to) that we don't go to bed angry with one another. I don't know why this should be any less applicable to our child than to the adults in the house. And if a baby is that "angry" (and I actually disagree with this - I think crying hysterically at 7 months still expresses a "need," not "anger"), maybe the parents should seriously re-think whether it is the right time to end co-sleeping. I know I wouldn't want my child to be angry at me all the time . . .


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

I think, too, that it is more socially acceptable in the mainstream world to say you sleep with your newborn, as opposed to saying you sleep with your 1 year old.
After a few months people will start hearing about how they are hurting their baby and all the other bs, and maybe start to believe it?


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

Maybe it has something to do with space and eating times?

I'm planning on our little babies sleeping with us for nursing purposes and to cuddle, but when they are bigger I'm planning on transitioning them to a crib and responding to them when they call or need me.

There won't be enough room for a bigger baby, I will be nursing less, and I imagine my child will be waking less often and I won't need to be right beside them.

How is that mean?


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## Jennisee (Nov 15, 2004)

BrklynMama, you shouldn't feel bad about this thread. I am fascinated by the trickling of AP into mainstream society and what the consequences of that are. I have absolutely noticed the trend you are talking about, especially since I spent the first year of my DD's life on a pretty mainstream birth club board, but I've seen it elsewhere as well.

It is becoming more "in" in many places to AP, and that is awesome. However, we still live in a VERY "forced independence" society, and I find that while more people feel good about using AP pracitces when their babies are little, many of them begin to feel that pressure of "forced independence" as the baby or toddler gets older. It's difficult to remain committed to allowing your child to decide when s/he will more to their own bed when everyone around you is saying that your child will never learn to be independent if you don't force him/her.

Of course, this doesn't mean that everyone who moves their child out of their bed does it for this reason. Many people have other reasons. However, in the trend of "mainstreaming AP," I find that it IS a common reason.

Quote:

I really strongly doubt that anyone is going right from cosleeping to Ferberizing. It would just be weird. .
Actually, on the birth club board that I was on, it was pretty common.


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## Susuhound (Jul 5, 2006)

I often wonder how things would have turned out if Sophie was a Sleeper. YK one of those kids who sleep longer than 1 hour at a time. When I was pg I was going to co-sleep, for as long as possible. And we are still co-sleeping and enjoying it. BUT I go through periods of finding it difficult to cope with her needs and resenting all the breastfeeding all night long etc etc and wish there was some way she would sleep alone. If she 'could have' slept alone I'm sure I would have tried it before, and maybe she would have ended up in a crib in another room? Probably not in another room, due to my anxiety about her health and safety/fires etc, but you never know. But OMG going from co-sleeping with all the warm fuzzies to CIO?????? that's wierder than wierd.
Friends of ours co-slept for around 6 weeks, then baby in another room. I think it was just to get over the 'newborn' stage with frequent waking, but then they were doing 'things' (some kind of sleep training)and night weaning at 4 months because it was too hard. So I guess they thought the baby was 'old enough' to stop having needs at night? I don't know. Then the baby refused the breast - the mother was teling me 'she won't comfort feed' and I'm thinking yes she does *at night* !!!!!!!!!! and you took it off her









I think the whole AP thing that babies have needs and need strong attachment is trickling into mainstream society, but there is some sort of thinking that you don't want to take that too far or the baby will grow up wierd or something, so they stop after 'x' weeks/months.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama*
The important thing, IMO, is even if the co-sleeping stops, the nighttime parenting does not stop.

I agree. DD is only 6 months old, and we've changed our sleeping habits a few time. We've co-slept all night, part of the night, and *gasp* she's spent some nights in her crib.

I am adamantly against CIO (Ferber, Babywise, you name it), and any other form of sleep training, however, that does not me that she _has_ to sleep with me. I LOVE sleeping with my daughter, but as of late she is just way to over stimulated and over tired, and it seems my every move wakes her up. She gets a poor night sleep, and as a result is cranky the whole following day. I've followed HER cues by gently moving her to her own bed so that she get some much needed sleep. Our bed is always open, and I hope this time is just a phase.

I am not actively trying to transition her for good, I'm just doing what I think is best for her at the time. I did not co-sleep for the first few months because it's fad and that's what "all the good mothers do". I co-sleep because in my heart that's what my instincts tell me to do. It's natural, safe, and it feels good for BOTH of us. And I know that her need to be close to me doesn't stop at a predetermined age, like 4 months, or 7 months, or even a year. SHE is the judge of how much and when she needs me.


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## liamsmommy221 (Oct 8, 2005)

My issue is my own personal sleep related. I'm a single parent, working 40 hours a week, taking care of my son 100% alone. I need my sleep. I need at least a few hours of good sleep a night in order to function and be the best parent I can be to him. As much as I love certain aspects of co-sleeping, Liam considered it to be a 24 hour dairy bar and I was getting very little sleep (I am one of those oddballs who cant sleep while he is nursing). I wish it didnt have to be like this, but its what I feel is best for both of us


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## haleyelianasmom (Nov 5, 2005)

Yeah, I've noticed this, both with breastfeeding and cosleeping. I'm not talking about people with special considerations, like in your case, liamsmommy, but people who just feel the baby "wanted" to wean or sleep alone at an early age. I guess it just depends on what you as a parent want or feel is right


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *haleyelianasmom*
but people who just feel the baby "wanted" to wean or sleep alone at an early age.

I can understand that in the case of weaning. I've known MANY people who insisted their baby weaned earlier then one year, and one at only 3 months. It makes me want to bang my head on a wall.

But I guess I'm one of those parents who thinks my baby "wants" to sleep on her own. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting her signals. I'd be open to any suggestions about why she protests sleeping in bed me, only to sleep better on her own.


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## wonderwahine (Apr 21, 2006)

Quote:

But I guess I'm one of those parents who thinks my baby "wants" to sleep on her own. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting her signals. I'd be open to any suggestions about why she protests sleeping in bed me, only to sleep better on her own.
I belive some children just are more comfortable away from you......ds was for the first 2 months, then he wanted comfort with mommy. He still likes alot of space in the bed for himself, he will only cuddle if hes night nursing.


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## kreyno4 (May 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
that's what happens when one reads Our Babies, Ourselves and thinks too hard!

ROTFL.... I think that's the reason why I sometimes can't sleep while night nursing... Internal monologues like "But my baby lives in Western society, am I hurting her ability to function within that society? We don't work in the fields, how can I wear my baby for chores that involve standing still when she gets fussy?

OT but would anyone be up for discussing Our Babies Ourselves, maybe chapter by chapter? I searched for such a discussion on Life with a Babe and didn't find one--would you contribute if I started one?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I would totally be into an OBOS discussion (gotta have an acronym for it right?







) I'll have to re-read my copy though...


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## red17 (May 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrklynMama*
Yes, it IS weird. That is exactly what prompted my post! Because I ran into someone who is Ferberizing at 7 months after co-sleeping, and it just surprised me that he could steel himself to do this. I was curious if others have encountered the same.

BrklynMama,
I do think that it is not only weird, but a cruel thing to do to a 7, 8, xx month child. No one likes the rug pulled out from them and to go from co-sleeping to Ferberizing? Well all I can say is







: That poor little one surely has some







ah I mean choice words for their parents.

But to your original post, we are the only ones in our family who co-sleep







but we do have many friends who do. Although our friends who have 11 and 12 yr old dd's have their own rooms, I know that each one slept with mom or dad almost nightly until recently. And they still sleep with mom & dad when they're sick or feeling a bit off. And those that have younger, 3 and 5, DD's are still co-sleeping nightly.

We were discussing sleeping issues with family a few weeks ago. I felt like crying







when my SIL (DH's sister) recently admitted that she'd brought her DD to bed with her while her DH was out of town for a few days. She was _promising_ DH that it would not happen again.







My side of the family has no understanding of co-sleeping







and when I try to talk to them about it, it's simply awful







. Before our DD was born, my SIL asked if I was going to get a nanny. (I will say though that I have a very bad back and she felt I'd need lots of help, and not necessarily that I would push nighttime duties off to a nanny, although it's still not very AP.)

When I was little, I co-slept with my oma and my great Aunt all the time, probably until I was well into my teens. So in many ways, I donno why my family gives me grief







. Now that my dd is 12.5 months, I don't have any burning desire to push her into her own bed... dh may have other ideas though as she is getting a bit rolly at night, but so far he hasn't pressed the issue. He still enjoys seeing her sleeping right next to us and that is just fine with me.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I have seen this alot. I went to a baby group at our local family center when dd was a baby. Most of the moms started out co-sleeping, by 8 months or so I was the only one left, everyone else had sleep trained and moved the dc into another room "now that they were old enough". I've also noticed it frequently at my LLL group, minus the sleep training part. Most of the moms there didn't want or like co-sleeping but endured it for the newborn period and as soon as they thought it was ok, the baby was moved, most into another room. I just did a meeting on night-time parenting and I was very suprised at how few co-slept, and even fewer that wanted to do it long term.

We've always slept with dd, she's 3.5 years now, we have no plans to move her out until she requests her own room, we actually hope it's several years down the road. It hasn't been easy at all, I was the all night milk bar until she was 3 years old, but it was what she needed, and I was willing to provide her with that. I find that I'm the odd ball even in crunicher groups.


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kreyno4*
OT but would anyone be up for discussing Our Babies Ourselves, maybe chapter by chapter? I searched for such a discussion on Life with a Babe and didn't find one--would you contribute if I started one?

Absolutely! I had a library copy so I'll be operating on memory only but I'm definitely interested in discussing if you get the thread started - maybe in the LWAB forum? I also read her book on older children.


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## kreyno4 (May 10, 2006)

I finally posted an OBOS discussion thread on Life with a Babe: here.

Sorry it took so long, sick baby. Hope you will contribute!


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama*

The important thing, IMO, is even if the co-sleeping stops, the nighttime parenting does not stop.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've done part time, full time, and even no-time (full time crib) cosleeping, but one thing has always been there: We respond to him and his needs at night, just as we would during the daytime.


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