# I guess I'm a freak



## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

Okay, so this is a rant. Guess it goes here because it is about me being a parent, but not necessarily about my kids. Went to a parenting group today at my church where my son also goes to school. We had a guest speaker today, a retired family dr from our congregation. The discussion revolved mostly around vaccines and I was feeling positive vibes from the group because we weren't backing down on our concerns even though the guy didn't get it. So, I felt like the group was pretty crunchy. Felt good enough to talk with a mom who worries about her son and potty training. The conversation digressed and we talked about breastfeeding (she is pregnant with #2) and she said she was committed to try harder this time. Pretty good attitude, I thought and offered my support since I bf ds for 3 1/2 yrs and have a nursing 16 mo. She thought I was a total freak. Started saying things like well I'm sure I'll just do it for a year, my husband is supportive but says that I have to cover up, blah blah blah. Then on co-sleeping (yeah, I was still talking to her at this point)...oh, that just can't be safe, I'd be afraid I'd roll over, I'd worry they'd never leave the bed, I don't have the right kind of mattress, my husband would never let me.

......sigh.

Why do I ever bother to open up to people? I feel like this always happens to me. Guess I'm just a freak.


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## lindsaye3 (May 15, 2007)

I don't think you are a freak.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

I don't think you're a freak, she just sounds uneducated. I run a playgroup and there are all kinds of moms there. Nobody has said boo about anything and we have some pretty crunchy members and some very mainstream ones. Both keep their mouths shut when they know their opinion isn't really wanted.


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## damona (Mar 27, 2008)

nope, not a freak.


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## Herausgeber (Apr 29, 2006)

Nope, not a freak. I make it a point to talk about this stuff matter of factly when it comes up. I figure that de-freak-afies it.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

freak of what? modern society? FINE! but then she's a freak of nature!


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

I guess I take the view that just because my viewpoint is different from others, it doesn't mean I'm a freak- it just means that I have a different opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and it's okay when your view doesn't exactly line up with the views of the people around you. To me, it sounds like the conversation went just fine. You both shared your point of view, you discussed the issues in a civil and respectful manner, and perhaps both of you learned more about each other.

I know it can be hard when you feel surrounded by people who don't understand your lifestyle. But it's not neccesary for you to convert everyone to your way of thinking. As long as you're comfortable with the decisions you make, that's the important part.


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## aihcalappa (Sep 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Herausgeber* 
Nope, not a freak. I make it a point to talk about this stuff matter of factly when it comes up. I figure that de-freak-afies it.

laughup














:


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## hellyaellen (Nov 8, 2005)

not a freak







maybe you even expanded her view a bit? i think a lot of people expect to only go for a year or so at first, to always be covered etc. maybe when reality meets expectation, she'll remember the "freaky" lady though and seek some support if she needs it


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## AutumnMama (Jan 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hellyaellen* 
not a freak







maybe you even expanded her view a bit? i think a lot of people expect to only go for a year or so at first, to always be covered etc. maybe when reality meets expectation, she'll remember the "freaky" lady though and seek some support if she needs it

















:









If you're a freak, then welcome to the circus!


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## ~NewMa~ (Nov 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AutumnMama* 







:









If you're a freak, then welcome to the circus!










THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP PERFECTLY
















:


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

I don't personally feel that I want to breastfeed for longer than a year. In fact, I am trying to wean my five and a half month old. But do I think you're a freak? NO!!! In fact, I know lots of people who breastfeed for a long long time and it just is something that they believe in and it works well for them. I don't think that people need to agree with each other in order to talk and have discussions about what their methods are. I think that she sounded a little close minded.


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## fancyoats (Jun 12, 2008)

i like that term -- de-freak-afy

yeah, you're totally not a freak, btw


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

You're not a freak! It sounds like part of her close-mindedness stems from her lack-of-support from her husband. I agree with hellyaellen that you probably did expand her view, and she may very well be calling on you for support if she gets a good breastfeeding relationship going this time, and decides she doesn't want to stop at 1 year ...

She may also turn to you for support if she gets tired of "covering it up" (as I did), and decides to just start whipping it out and feeding Baby as she was meant to.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa85* 
I don't think you're a freak, *she just sounds uneducated*. I run a playgroup and there are all kinds of moms there. Nobody has said boo about anything and we have some pretty crunchy members and some very mainstream ones. Both keep their mouths shut when they know their opinion isn't really wanted.

Or maybe she has just made different choices. I am starting to get really irritated by the pervasive attitude here that anyone who ever chooses something different than what you (general you) deem best is uneducated. Yes, yes, yes, I know this is Mothering, I know what the beliefs are but why the need to put other women down and call them uneducated just because they didn't make the same choices as you?


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
I *don't personally feel that I want to breastfeed for longer than a year. In fact, I am trying to wean my five and a half month old.* But do I think you're a freak? NO!!! In fact, I know lots of people who breastfeed for a long long time and it just is something that they believe in and it works well for them. I don't think that people need to agree with each other in order to talk and have discussions about what their methods are. I think that she sounded a little close minded.











NO!!!! Say it isn't so!!!! (I'm kidding btw)









OP, it happens a lot and I understand your frustration. But maybe you could befriend this person and continue on w/ friendly dialogue. Not just about this particular issue but about a variety of things. That may make her more open to hearing your viewpoint if she doesn't get the ol' judgey impression (not saying you did that, just saying that that usually backfires.)


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## tjjazzy (Jan 18, 2007)

i say neither of you is a freak and you might find you can have some interesting conversations should the 2 of you be open to it.


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## H & J's Mom (Jun 1, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annethcz* 
I guess I take the view that just because my viewpoint is different from others, it doesn't mean I'm a freak- it just means that I have a different opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and it's okay when your view doesn't exactly line up with the views of the people around you. To me, it sounds like the conversation went just fine. You both shared your point of view, you discussed the issues in a civil and respectful manner, and perhaps both of you learned more about each other.

I know it can be hard when you feel surrounded by people who don't understand your lifestyle. But it's not neccesary for you to convert everyone to your way of thinking. As long as you're comfortable with the decisions you make, that's the important part.

Well said.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Or maybe she has just made different choices. I am starting to get really irritated by the pervasive attitude here that anyone who ever chooses something different than what you (general you) deem best is uneducated. Yes, yes, yes, I know this is Mothering, I know what the beliefs are but why the need to put other women down and call them uneducated just because they didn't make the same choices as you?

So glad that I'm not the only one thinking this. I too find it very irritating how some of you expect everyone else to be open to your choices and ideas when you are so close minded to other's ... Different choices do not mean uneducated choices.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I've felt that way so many times, about so many different things-- like I was living in some parallel universe or something. I am the neighborhood freak, the freaky one at DD's school, the freak member of my family. Ah, well. That's why I come here-- if I AM a freak, at least I'm in good company.


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## Phoenix~Mama (Dec 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annethcz* 
I guess I take the view that just because my viewpoint is different from others, it doesn't mean I'm a freak- it just means that I have a different opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and it's okay when your view doesn't exactly line up with the views of the people around you. To me, it sounds like the conversation went just fine. You both shared your point of view, you discussed the issues in a civil and respectful manner, and perhaps both of you learned more about each other.

I know it can be hard when you feel surrounded by people who don't understand your lifestyle. But it's not neccesary for you to convert everyone to your way of thinking. As long as you're comfortable with the decisions you make, that's the important part.









that

Why do you feel like you are a freak if you are confident in the choices that you made for you and your family? You shouldn't let anyone else make you feel inadequate or like a freak just becaue you have a different view point than them... and that doesn't make them a freak or uneducated either.

I don't think there is one perfect/right way to raise a family... we have to do what feels right to us. Just my 2 cents...


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## Autumn C. (Jul 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 

She may also turn to you for support if she gets tired of "covering it up" (as I did), and decides to just start whipping it out and feeding Baby as she was meant to.

Honestly, I was terrified of having my boobies out all over the place. It took a couple of weeks, and exposure to smart, caring, confident bf'ing women and that fear evaporated. (Really? If you haven't seen a boobie before I'M not the one with issues!)

I think it's likely that you did broaden her awareness some. She may still make the same choices but maybe you increased the chance that they will be conscience choices, ykwim?


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

I read your post OP, none of the responses just yet, but I wanted you to know I am freak too







My friends called me stupid, yes stupid, for pumping while my youngest, who was 11 months at the time, was on a nursing strike. They also thought I was not being smart by not vaxing right away and co-sleeping and never, ever allowing my children to have fast food, processed crap, or candy, sugar or anything junk. They all think I am crazy. It is hard to find friends, really. I have no problem with what others do with their children as far as that goes, but for some reason they always feel I am judging them (I am not certainly not!) so it can be really rough to open up to people, especially when you think you have something in common. Just to let you know you are not the only one out there mama!


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

You're not a freak, you're gently educating others to alternative viewpoints by living your own life!


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
You're not a freak, you're gently educating others to alternative viewpoints by living your own life!

Yes to this!


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Yeah, it would kind of be like telling someone that your life's work and passion is something like, oh, say, music therapy for developmentally delayed children and them going off on "ADD isn't even real, and music can't help anyone! Why would you waste your time!?"

I mean, really, it's just a matter of polite conversation, when it all boils down - if you disagree, you do so civillay, you don't attack, embarrass or harass.


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## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

I don't bother anymore. It's just conversation, but I've gotten too burned out on trying to make conversation based on parenting practices. People are set in their ways most of the time, some have actually done research, some haven't, and many love to give opinions when they aren't asked for.

There's so many myths out there about cosleeping, extended nursing, cloth diapers, vaxing or not vaxing....when someone makes comments stating one of those myths it sounds more like they are uneducated. If you researched it and decided it wasn't for you, that's one thing....and a lot of times people will mention this.

I have a friend who does everything opposite of us, but I know that she researched stuff and just didn't want to do a lot of the things we do. She knows there's a whole other world outside the mainstream. BUT she's respectful, never given me flack for any of our decisions. She even mentions studies done on cosleeping and the history of the family bed and speaks positively of it, even though she dosn't like it for herself.

Compare that to other people who I've made the mistake of mentioning how we do things to, I get all sorts of myths and misinformation thrown at me and then they said they've done their research....that shows miseducation or uneducation. IMO at any rate.


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## AoifesMom (Sep 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lisa85* 
I run a playgroup and there are all kinds of moms there. Nobody has said boo about anything and we have some pretty crunchy members and some very mainstream ones. Both keep their mouths shut when they know their opinion isn't really wanted.

If only more people were skilled at keeping their mouths shut. I get more unwanted, uneducated parenting advice than I know what to do with. Well..I guess I do now what to do with it, ignore it completely.


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## slylives (Mar 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Herausgeber* 
You do realize that you're on a site that promotes "extended breastfeeding" and cosleeping, right?

Yes, I am perfectly aware of that!! But I also like to think that this is one of the few mothering websites that doesn't (often) degenerate into bitchy, snide comments towards people who don't share "our" (collective our) points of view. As another poster responded - in a much more eloquent way than me, I feel - the fact that this woman expressed different ideas, does not make her ignorant or uneducated.

And as for the Mother Theresa comment, as I expressed in my post, it was aimed at the "collective you" as opposed to the OP in particular. (I hope you weren't offended, OP.) I would imagine that we have all encountered people for whom our parenting ideas have been a little off-the-wall. For me, it's extended breastfeeding and not CIO that seems to cause the most surprise to people. And if anyone was openly rude or disrespectful of my choices, I wouldn't hesitate to call them on their rudeness. But I've re-read the OP a number of times and I cannot see that this woman reacted rudely, and I certainly didn't infer from her response that she thought the OP was "a freak". She has different opinions, that's all.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

A little OT: I'd just love to see my husband or any man try to "make" me cover up or "not allow" me to have our child in the bed.









I feel sad for people who don't have an equal balance of power in their relationships.

And just think, in certain circles (like this website, or my friends IRL) the woman who quits bfing before a year and puts her baby in a seperate room would be the freak. It's all about perspective.


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## stickywicket67 (Jan 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annethcz* 
I guess I take the view that just because my viewpoint is different from others, it doesn't mean I'm a freak- it just means that I have a different opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and it's okay when your view doesn't exactly line up with the views of the people around you. To me, it sounds like the conversation went just fine. You both shared your point of view, you discussed the issues in a civil and respectful manner, and perhaps both of you learned more about each other.

I know it can be hard when you feel surrounded by people who don't understand your lifestyle. But it's not neccesary for you to convert everyone to your way of thinking. As long as you're comfortable with the decisions you make, that's the important part.









:


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

Thanks for all the thoughts, mamas (OP here). I'm perfectly comfortable with this woman making different decisions from me. I am far far far from a perfect parent. I felt the need to come here and share because of the tone she used with me. Here was a woman who was asking for advice ....and then when I gave her some, she backpedaled in such a condescending tone of voice. That's when I felt like a freak. For the record, I still gave her my number to talk about breastfeeding and I sure hope she calls.

And yeah, I thought the comments about her husband "making" her do something....well, I didn't even want to talk about that. Maybe it will be a good excuse for her to quit, or maybe he'll loosen up (he ought to talk to my husband!)....but I found them ridiculous.

It was a rant....I don't want anybody getting upset on a thread I started.


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## lanamommyphd07 (Feb 14, 2007)

Freak here. But honestly I come across the same thing all. the. time. People look at me a bit oddly when I don't have a "nursery theme" or crib and that type of thing, or when I say she's breastfeeding and I'm so glad because we're never sleep deprived. And I'm in the business of parent consultations, so it gets even more difficult to listen to the most bizarre parenting ideas known to man all day long. But alas, sometimes I share my views, sometimes not, but I look at is a way to offer permission, if you will, to do what might be in their hearts, but not supported by general society.
FWIW--some of the posts on this thread got me thinking--it IS possible to become judgmental--totally possible....many of the MDC folks have to fight daily, defend themselves daily, and it takes a lot of extra work than simply floating along mainstream-like. And so yeah, I'll support someone's need/desire to bf until school age..not my cup of tea as we need to wrap it up soon, but I'm not going to judge simply because it's not my thing, and I think MDCers tend to get the panties in a bundle when someone is actively defending the mainstream way. It's like the opposite of what they live. So it makes a bit of sense. Those who don't like it have babycenter and those guys. This is the place for moms to say, "oh yeah, there's others like me!! yay!!" All of us freaks......


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## groovynaturemama (Mar 8, 2007)

i guess i'm a freak in that lady's opinion too. proud to join ya!


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Sometimes I feel that way. Im the freak at work. I had a coworker actually snort at me one day and asked if i checked this stuff out on snopes. Whatever. But I have also had coworkers come to me in private, one about circumcising and one about extended bf (she felt like a freak she was still nursing her 16 mo old!). So, if I helped either of them, it's worth it. But at times, its frustrating and exhausting.

I think the point the op was making is how when we (the collective we around here) try and just have a conversation with another parent,we end up feeling like we have to defend our choices and its tiring and it gets old.


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## Devaya (Sep 23, 2007)

I feel like a freak too. Esp now that most of the other moms I know are weaning or at least night-weaning (it's around the 1 year mark), starting to go away for weekends without their baby etc, and I just feel like I can't talk about what's going on with me or it becomes 'well why don't you just stop feeding him at night' or whatever. I hope I can help other moms who make decisions out of the norm, to feel more confident about that. I have a good friend with a 2 month old who has told me she wants me to give her lots of input and not feel I have to stay away from topics like b.feeding etc.

I'm so glad for MDC or I think I would feel even more of one! I just wish my 'real life' community was like this virtual community!


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## SheepNumber97245 (Apr 20, 2007)

wow i was just going to post a similar rant but now i feel validated.

i'm with you, sweetheart. it's so irritating having to constantly defend your choices, even when they are better ones.


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
And what would the OP's reaction have been if the other woman had said she didn't like breastfeeding and only breastfed for 6 weeks? Would the OP have reacted the same way as this woman did in regards to extended breastfeeding? Turnabout is fair play.

I don't know what the OP's reaction would be, how can I know? I am not her. I can tell you how I would react. I would simply smile and bid her a good day. Let her alone, very simple.


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Hi, I wanted to let you all know that several posts have been temporarily removed from this thread. They will be reviewed later and I will be contacting some of you for edits. Thank you.


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## macimom (Oct 21, 2007)

Fellow freak here...but I was not always aware of choices that were not mainstream. When I had my first, I didn't have a clue about EBF'ing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering or many of the lifestyle choices I make today. Had it not been for talking with others about their choices, I may have never become educated on these things. I think it's great that you opened up to her, regardless of how she may have responded to it. At least you gave her another perspective to think about and, who knows, maybe she will make a few different choices now.


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## angela&avery (May 30, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
You're not a freak! It sounds like part of her close-mindedness stems from her lack-of-support from her husband. I agree with hellyaellen that you probably did expand her view, and she may very well be calling on you for support if she gets a good breastfeeding relationship going this time, and decides she doesn't want to stop at 1 year ...

She may also turn to you for support if she gets tired of "covering it up" (as I did), and decides to just start whipping it out and feeding Baby as she was meant to.

and maybe she was intimidated (hence the excuses) by your way of parenting which she inherently thinks may be a better way..... but doesnt think she could handle it..


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *karina5* 









NO!!!! Say it isn't so!!!! (I'm kidding btw)










ha ha well actually I have chickened out now. I tried for two days to get him to drink formula, and it was awful. He hates the stuff. I mean hates it. I was so engorged and sore too. Plus, he is such a super good baby, very mild mannered all the time, sleeps very well, and when I wasnt breastfeeding him for those two days it was like his whole personality changed!!! so I guess i'll be bfing for a while lol.


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

I was a radically breastfeeding mom who couldn't understand why on earth someone would stick a BOTTLE in their babies' mouth... Then I had to wean my second baby at 8 weeks so I could take important meds. I was soooo embarrassed every time someone saw me put a bottle in my baby's mouth. I felt like such a failure. It really humbled me and helped me realize that I was being just as closed minded as someone who never tried nursing and I felt really bad about all the judgments I made of others. Now I just plant seeds of information. Currently my focus is on gentle discipline and helping people see how it works on my situation and when they tell me to just spank my son when he gets out of control or breaks stuff or whatever (including my mom) I have to gently explain why I believe it will cause more harm than good. It can be very hard to move through those conversations without judgment on my part, and push my beliefs on others, but remembering to use my 'I' statements really helps.


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## LeahC (Sep 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Herausgeber* 
Nope, not a freak. I make it a point to talk about this stuff matter of factly when it comes up. I figure that de-freak-afies it.









Exactly!! You are definitely not a freak.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *harrietsmama* 
I was a radically breastfeeding mom who couldn't understand why on earth someone would stick a BOTTLE in their babies' mouth... Then I had to wean my second baby at 8 weeks so I could take important meds. I was soooo embarrassed every time someone saw me put a bottle in my baby's mouth. I felt like such a failure. It really humbled me and helped me realize that I was being just as closed minded as someone who never tried nursing and I felt really bad about all the judgments I made of others. Now I just plant seeds of information.









I was on meds (surgery, pre and post-op) for over a month and had to pump-and-dump, giving my DS bottles of formula during that time. I remember feeling exactly as you described and it did open my eyes quite a bit also. I feel I am a bit judgemental (not of people, but definitely of their actions) ad that did help because you never truly know someone's individual situation.

That being said, I feel like a freak sometimes too, but it's definitely better than the alternative, imo.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I don't se anywhere in the original post where she was judging you. but you certainly made som judgments on her parenting. Perhaps you can accept that she may not have the same information or suport yo have. or maybe she does and just came to other conclusions that work best for her family. that is no reason to judge her as a bad mother or a freak.


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

Umm, I totally don't care what kind of parenting decisions she makes. She actually was the one who asked me for advice and when I gave it, she shot everything down. Her tone was made me feel like a freak.


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Herausgeber* 
Nope, not a freak. I make it a point to talk about this stuff matter of factly when it comes up. I figure that de-freak-afies it.









:

the fact is, a lot more people do what we do than will admit to it! you're not a freak. i know you from your posts on MDC and i think you're great!







:


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
I don't personally feel that I want to breastfeed for longer than a year. In fact, I am trying to wean my five and a half month old. But do I think you're a freak? NO!!! In fact, I know lots of people who breastfeed for a long long time and it just is something that they believe in and it works well for them. I don't think that people need to agree with each other in order to talk and have discussions about what their methods are. I think that she sounded a little close minded.

not to hijack the thread, but can i ask, why are you wanting to wean your baby?


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## MammaB21 (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
Or maybe she has just made different choices. I am starting to get really irritated by the pervasive attitude here that anyone who ever chooses something different than what you (general you) deem best is uneducated. Yes, yes, yes, I know this is Mothering, I know what the beliefs are but why the need to put other women down and call them uneducated just because they didn't make the same choices as you?

I just had to comment on this quickly before answering the OP. I don't have any problem with people making different decision as me. But I think that in our general society most moms get their 'stats' from their pediatritions, or previous generations (ie: moms, grandmas, aunts, etc). In my experience most peds are pretty 'uneducated' about natural practices. Previous generations usually go by what THEY were told at the time. Either way, in a case where the parent is not doing the research on their own, I would consider that techniqually uneducated. It's not to sound "high and mighty" or anything. If someone came to me with stats on why co-sleeping causes infant deaths, then I will listen, and respect their educated decision.

To the OP. It sounds like the conversation went well. Just an exchange of opinion in a friendly matter. The fact that she was willing to discuss it proves that she was interested in the way YOU do things. So hopefully you both took something away from the conversation.


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## mrspineau (Jan 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *readytobedone* 
not to hijack the thread, but can i ask, why are you wanting to wean your baby?

Im trying to get pregnant again, and the doctor told me that it probably wont happen as long as I am breastfeeding. However, I do think that I may be pregnant, and he said that I have breastfed for a long enough time and that it is okay to start weaning, and that it could harm the fetus if I breastfeed while I am pregnant. I have since heard otherwise from breastfeeding mamas whom I trust. I have to say though, I have an exceptionally well behaved baby - very calm, snuggly, sleeps and eats very well, is content all the time. UNTIL I tried to give him formula. It is making me think that the breastmilk has something to do with his mild manner. Anyhow, I have since decided to just keep on breastfeeding. If I get/am pregnant, great, if I don't/not, well then I guess that will come later. The whole weaning thing was just heartbreaking and he obviously wasn't ready. I have to say I really thought it would be easy but I see now that it is a bad decision.


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mrspineau* 
Im trying to get pregnant again, and the doctor told me that it probably wont happen as long as I am breastfeeding. However, I do think that I may be pregnant, and he said that I have breastfed for a long enough time and that it is okay to start weaning, and that it could harm the fetus if I breastfeed while I am pregnant. I have since heard otherwise from breastfeeding mamas whom I trust. I have to say though, I have an exceptionally well behaved baby - very calm, snuggly, sleeps and eats very well, is content all the time. UNTIL I tried to give him formula. It is making me think that the breastmilk has something to do with his mild manner. Anyhow, I have since decided to just keep on breastfeeding. If I get/am pregnant, great, if I don't/not, well then I guess that will come later. The whole weaning thing was just heartbreaking and he obviously wasn't ready. I have to say I really thought it would be easy but I see now that it is a bad decision.

Your doctor gave you misinformation, for one, the AAP among others suggests nursing for no less than one year, and 2. I know MANY women who have gotten pregnant while nursing, myself included!!! Do you have your cycle back? that makes it easier, but even if you don't - don't despair because I know many women who get pregnant the first time they cycle, before they get to the bleeding stage. If he is going for more than 6 hours at night, you have a better chance at getting pregnant. There are a lot of tricks to give your body a clue if you want to push it. None of them require stopping or even altering nursing. If you want to keep this chat going, just start a new thread and you'll get lots of info! I suggest putting under TTC forum. {{{hugs!!}}} good luck!


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## mytwogirls (Jan 3, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *harrietsmama* 
Your doctor gave you misinformation, for one, the AAP among others suggests nursing for no less than one year, and 2. I know MANY women who have gotten pregnant while nursing, myself included!!! Do you have your cycle back? that makes it easier, but even if you don't - don't despair because I know many women who get pregnant the first time they cycle, before they get to the bleeding stage. If he is going for more than 6 hours at night, you have a better chance at getting pregnant. There are a lot of tricks to give your body a clue if you want to push it. None of them require stopping or even altering nursing. If you want to keep this chat going, just start a new thread and you'll get lots of info! I suggest putting under TTC forum. {{{hugs!!}}} good luck!

Yes I suggest the thread in TTC. Oh and I was nursing my seven month old, no period since I had given birth to her, and lo and behold I got preggers. I nursed through the pregnancy and my 9lb 8oz baby girl came out just fine ! It happens and your doc is full of sh!t to put it plain and simple.
OP: How are you feeling today? I know it can be so frustrating when you offer help in ANY type of situation after being asked for advice and then get shot down....so annoying and frustrating. Just know you are a great mama and NOT a freak


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## mummyofan (Jun 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AutumnMama* 







:









If you're a freak, then welcome to the circus!









yep right on!
I always tell people about our lifestyle if they even so much as glance my direction (slight exaggeration) some say wow so good to meet a fellow ..... or wow aren't you wierd, sort of reation, I figure some I'll educate, some I'll freak out and some will ignore me. I love my children and will always do whats best for them regardless of the percieved norms of western society


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

I got pregnant while bf my dd, she nursed through the whole thing and then tandem nursed with her brother, they were BOTH nursing when I got pregnant with my youngest! DD weaned during that pregnancy but her brother did not and now the two youngest are both nursing.


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## mummyofan (Jun 25, 2008)

just realised how much I've been judging as I have about breastfeeding, but I should know better - guess this educated Me! I tried for 3 days after my son was born with trying to latch him on and was 'threatened with formula if he didn't within the last hour so I just put ALl my energy into it and succeded, but I don't cloth diaper (tried for 8 months, but it just didn't work for me then I did with my daughter which works - different body types i sppose, we cosleep, but are noe exceptionally green - drive a HOnda pilot! and though I buy organically most of the time, it's not a religion. We did not circumcise, but that was before I had ever heard of Mothering. We're just British, we don't generally.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry for my other post sounding so 'aren't we wise parents with the choices we made" rather than simply "this is what WE do"
Everyone has their ways and reasons or not, and I suppose we should all try to respect themand listen to each other, as it's the children who really matter, not us.


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## recycledbook (Sep 10, 2008)

i understand what you mean i get it all the time too i just dont "fit in" thats how i feel anyway


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## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *harrietsmama* 
Your doctor gave you misinformation, for one, the AAP among others suggests nursing for no less than one year, and 2. I know MANY women who have gotten pregnant while nursing, myself included!!! Do you have your cycle back? that makes it easier, but even if you don't - don't despair because I know many women who get pregnant the first time they cycle, before they get to the bleeding stage. If he is going for more than 6 hours at night, you have a better chance at getting pregnant. There are a lot of tricks to give your body a clue if you want to push it. None of them require stopping or even altering nursing. If you want to keep this chat going, just start a new thread and you'll get lots of info! I suggest putting under TTC forum. {{{hugs!!}}} good luck!

Yeah docs are great for misinformation on a lot of things. I got pregnant while nursing, although granted ds was a little over 2 yo and it wasn't constant like it was. He then chose to wean himself, and I too got the idiot advice from others that you shouldn't nurse while pregnant. I had absolutely no risk factors that I knew of....but it WAS painful and I'm glad he weaned himself!


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## nina_yyc (Nov 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellen Griswold* 
Here was a woman who was asking for advice ....and then when I gave her some, she backpedaled in such a condescending tone of voice. That's when I felt like a freak.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellen Griswold* 
Umm, I totally don't care what kind of parenting decisions she makes. She actually was the one who asked me for advice and when I gave it, she shot everything down. Her tone was made me feel like a freak.

This stuff stood out to me. The whole way we discuss parenting in our culture is just weird and uncomfortable. Seems like SO many people have no confidence in what they're doing, or pretend to have no confidence so they have something to talk about with other parents.


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