# Anyone else with a toddler who destroys the house every single day?



## Beauchamp (Jan 12, 2009)

My 16mo old DD's mission in life is to destroy any attempt I've made at organizing our home. If it's on a table, she pulls in down to the floor. If she can open a drawer, she yanks out the contents. I fold a pile of towels, and she pushes them down and throws them around. She can unzip a bag and...you get the idea. She is tearing everything apart!!! My shoes are perpetually scattered throughout the house. I've found her sippy cup in the garbage can and in the laundry hamper. DH's leather gloves also went into the trash can when my back was turned (and she got those out of the closet!)







She even reaches her little arms into the cabinets and drawers WITH the baby locks ON and roots around until she grabs something small enough and pulls it out. Sigh.

We have quite a few baby locks on doors and things, but there are still things she has access to, and quite frankly, I don't know how we can lock every dresser drawer, block every low shelf, etc.

WHAT do you mamas DO?!? Am I destined to have a house that looks like someone turned it upside down and shook it until my kid gets old enough to understand? She understands a LOT at this age, and yet she doesn't seem to get it that we don't want her to go through our home leaving chaos and destruction in her wake.









I am SO sick of picking things up a thousand times a day.


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## Stephaniqua (Oct 13, 2010)

I am in the same boat! My daughter is 30 months and still doesn't get it! In fact, today when I was trying to clean up the living room mess she managed to get into the flour in the kitchen and made a huge mess there. I feel like there is no end! If I turn my back for a second everything is a mess. She knows how to pick up her toys, but only does so when she is told and when I help. I need some help if anyone has it! I'm getting sick of cleaning up the same mess multiple times a day...


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## mommy_to_2angels (Sep 27, 2010)

My son isn't really all that bad. What gets me is when he KNOWS that it's something he isn't supposed to touch (IE: the remotes, the TV, my books) and he looks right at me while he gets them. Everything that could create a huge mess is out of reach. We put all chemicals, towels, cooking stuff, etc out of reach. All the lower cupboards are empty. Lmao. So maybe it's more that I've excessively babyproofed, but... he's a cheeky little monkey, my JJ is.


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## Norasmomma (Feb 26, 2008)

It's a phase, give her a place that she can destroy. The more you pick it up the more of a game it is. Clear it all out and give her a basket full of things to throw, or a box and it will make her happy.

It's an annoying thing, but developmentally appropriate.


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## mommy_to_2angels (Sep 27, 2010)

Ooooh I like that idea! I basically did that with the boy's room. He has only his toys. The diapers and clothes are high up in the closet. I have no worries as to him getting hurt or anything in there. So I can put the gate up and just let him play and relax at his leisure, while mommy gets her stuff together. Lol


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Well... DS isn't so bad I guess. I'm thinking it helps that we really haven't babyproofed & we hardly tell him 'no' so since nothing is 'off limits' the game gets old fast. Or maybe I just have a neat kid??? lol (Don't get me wrong, my house is a disaster still anyway... but that's more my fault than his!)

Also we make him put everything away that he pulls out. He can pull all the pots and pans out as long as he puts them back when he's done, for ex. He puts his toys back when he's done with them... he can empty the laundry bin if it wasn't just folded (otherwise, it gets locked in another room until we have time to put it away), but then he has to return all the clothes to the basket when he's done playing with it. We help him with it if necessary but he can do it himself for the most part (he's 20mos, there was more helping on our end a few months back).

So a lot of it is just being really proactive about keeping certain things out of reach, and the rest is just not reacting when he does pull things out & strew them everywhere. I don't follow him around & pick things up, because that would just make a game out of it & encourage him... So either he picks it up himself or if that's not feasible DH or I picks it up later (when he's forgotten that HE made that mess).


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

I am naturally messy but try to keep the house habitable, free of clutter, nothing strewn on the floor, no dirty dishes, no piles of laundry both because it is demoralizing and because I do not want to pass on my messiness to my daughter.

So when I say we manage to keep the place relatively clean, take that with a grain of salt. It's clean by my standards. Perhaps not by others.

We pick up together, several times a day. I try to take advantage of the fact that young toddlers love to imitate grownups and have a natural inclination towards orderliness. I show her what I am doing, and praise her copiously when she imitates. I ignore or interrupt (depending on urgency) when she is doing something I don't want her to do, and then show her what she should be doing, until she copies, then praise. She loves to wipe with a rag while I do, pick up and put away books when I do, stand next to me and pass the plastic dishes into the drying rack when I wash the dishes (and drink the dirty water.... ew...), etc. I tell her, "This is a [blank], we use it for [blah], and it goes [here]."

While I am working/writing, I let her trash the living room with her toys, but it's small, so it take ten minutes to pick up together, or five if I do it alone.

Sometimes I let her dump her sippy cup of water on the floor, then I give her a rag to wipe it up. She likes that.

I took a hard line against throwing books because I like going to the library, and after several months of interrupting, demonstrating, and praising, we can now go to the library and she knows what to do with the books. The books are for looking at. The books go back on the shelf when we are done. She still pulls a couple books off the bookshelf at home, but nothing like before, and I don't have to interrupt joyfests of her yanking every. single. book. off the shelf as fast as she can.


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## Summersquash (Jul 23, 2009)

We kind of just model cleaning up. And that certain things go in certain places. DD isn't as messy as your little one sounds, but she goes from room to room with various things, so there's a photo album and the top of a sippy cup in the bathroom, one of Daddy's belts in her room, etc. We sort of just put things away as we come across them and say, "here's Daddy's belt. That goes in Daddy's closet" or whatever.


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## skybluepink02 (Nov 9, 2005)

YES!!! I've got two of them! Honestly, I just baby/toddler proofed the entire downstairs. It still looks like a tornado went through at the end of the day, but at least it's safe!

I just leave it all be until they are asleep for the night or for nap time and go through and spend an hour cleaning and picking up. It's just not worth it to try to pick up while they are still awake.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Ooh one other thing that has helped me is... bins. I keep a bin for the things most likely to be strewn about in each room. For instance, toys, and my sewing stuff in the living room. Picking up is a matter of dumping stuff in the bin and putting the bin away. It can be more organzied later, or just a rush job.


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## maptome (Feb 13, 2010)

I've put painters masking tape over a credenza that has lots of little drawers that DD likes to get into. I have to untape it to get into it. Hopefully, I can pull it off before she turns 3. =)


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

After reading the title I want to say... wait... you're just asking if anyone else had a toddler. Yup!







Tornado central here. I'm just getting rid of stuff left and right so there is less to end up on the floor.


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## redvlagrl (Dec 2, 2009)

Yup, drives you crazy, doesn't it?

BUT at about 20 months or so, DD started becoming rather obsessed with things being in their rightful place. I believe this is a developmental norm too. It's much easier to get her to put things back now.

I will also ask her to help me clean up and tell her that if she doesn't help I will take it away. That works every time.


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## peainthepod (Jul 16, 2008)

Baby gates, closed doors, and lots of harmless things for him to "destroy" (not really) and throw around. We have a couple of wicker baskets full of soft toys to throw, bean bags, play silks, etc. He likes to dump those out and then throw the baskets...but better those than the garbage can in the kitchen, KWIM? He has a toddler-sized bookshelf with all his books, and I think pulling them all off the shelves and throwing them on the ground to sift through satisfies some deep-seated destructive urges he has without actually causing harm to anything or anyone.

I also encourage him to help me clean up his things. It doesn't usually work very well but I'm hopeful that someday, he'll actually want to put things in their rightful place. Someday...


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## Aufilia (Jul 31, 2007)

Yes. My kids are like tornados. Vivian has her own space, fenced off, where we keep all her toys that are too small for babies. It's usually a disaster, and when it gets clean, that lasts like 10 seconds.

Meanwhile, Tristan crawls around as fast as he can, taking stuff off the shelves, pulling pieces apart, scattering the play kitchen stuff all over the dining room, taking recycling out of the recycling can and putting it into the cats' fountain, pulling toys off the small shelf in the living room and tossing them in all directions... Of course, they're never more fascinating than when I'm trying to pick them up. If I'm touching it, it's the best toy EVER.

Ironically, their bedrooms are the cleanest places in the house. I can close the doors. It's the living room and dining room that are always trashed, 'cause that's where they roam during the day.


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## carmel23 (Jul 21, 2006)

My toddling 10 month old loves all the disgusting stuff, like the toilet, trash can, diaper pale. Or he climbs on the table, knocking everything off (food, drinks... yeah, everything).

If I am folding laundry on the couch he attacks it and unfolds it. He loves to throw his diapers all over the bedroom--but at least that is easy to clean up.

For the most part, all the random stuff everywhere is the sign of a healthy household, imo. Its the gross stuff that bugs me.


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## nukuspot (May 10, 2007)

yep, we have one here. I think it's normal. After dinner DH takes her upstairs and I spend a hour cleaning the downstairs. At least when we wake up in the morning the downstairs looks great again for like 5 minutes!


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## shnitzel (Jan 6, 2010)

Sigh.
My house is clean for about 5 minutes every day, the second DD wakes up I am defeated.
She loves to make a mess, at the childrens museum she runs the second another kid builds a tower because she lives to knock them down.
Now that she can climb on the table I am running out of ideas. Our apartment is tiny so there is nowhere to put anything.


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## Abraisme (Mar 8, 2009)

Yup, you I have a toddler too!


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## always hope (Feb 2, 2008)

We have a line in our house. Above and below Ella's reach. Everything within read is fair game. I only tidy up at the end of the day. Otherwise I would be at it all the time. It has been good for making me get rid of things we don't use. I also have boxes for the toys so at the end of the day it all gets chucked in. I think it is just part of the fun.
I think anyone who thinks their house won't end up looking like the kids own it is kidding themselves. It will look like an adult space again when they leave home


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Me! Me! We have the kitchen and living room "babyproofed" and gated off from the rest of the house. If he can reach it (and he can reach lots of stuff!), it ends up on the floor. He can open all my kitchen drawers, so there are usually various utensils, pots, and pans on the floor (stuff like spatulas that he can't get hurt on. All the "unsafe" things are in the top drawer that he can't reach...yet). Folded clothes get unfolded, anything that he can reach on the counters gets pulled off.
The bathroom is fun







In the time it takes me to pee and wash my hands, he's pulled various things out of the drawers, pulled towels or washcloths out of the cupboard, and climbs on the toilet to get to the toilet paper.
Oh, and he puts everything in the recycling bin. Our trash can is outside of the baby area, but the recycling cans are inside. He tips them over and gets all the paper out and all over the floor. When dp takes the recycling out, he goes through it one thing at a time to get all the good stuff out.
And the cans- he loves to move my canned goods from the cupboard to the counter. But he never moves them back. hehe

And yeah, we just simply cannot babyproof everything he can get into. There's always stuff on the floor. I constantly pick stuff up and put it away, but there's always more stuff coming out. I tried to ignore the stuff on the floor, figuring that it was going to come back out anyways, but when I started tripping over things I decided it wasn't working for me.

It does help that we have a gated off area. That eliminates a lot of things he can get into- no trash, no shoes, no dog bowls.
Some things we don't allow (ie: we move him every single time). But mostly, I've decided I could either "teach" him not to get into stuff, which would take a LOT of time and would stress both of us out, or I can do what I do- let him make a mess then clean as I can, which makes him happy.

eta- ds1 was soooo not like this!


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## Bebe's Mom (Jun 10, 2010)

Reading these posts makes me feel so much better!! Our house is a wreck too. I have bins and baskets in every room for DD's toys, which helps. I go around a few times a day and put the toys back in the bins, mostly so she can take them out again, lol. Sometimes I just give up and leave the mess on the floor. This irritates DH, who then goes around cleaning...I take weekends off, since I am a SAHM. If DH wants to clean, I am not going to stop him! I usually clean up everything when DD goes to bed at night, so she can start fresh in the morning. I also have to vacuum a lot, since she trails crumbs everywhere...Luckily we are able to gate the kitchen so she can't get in there, unless of course someone leaves the gate open, then she goes straight for the cat food. I just got DH to finally install a toilet lock, since she figured out how to get the lid up and I forget to shut the doors..We have two doors into the bathroom, weird but it is actually a good thing. We have a very small house so it's not too bad, I have gotten rid of nonessentials and I try to keep clutter to a minimum. One of my fave things to do is give her the junk mail, she loves to tear that up.


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## Beauchamp (Jan 12, 2009)

oh, we did toilet lid locks from the beginning and I am so glad we did! One less thing to worry about.







Now I need an oven lock, because DD grabs an oven mitt, pulls it up on her arm, and acts like she is going to open the oven door (because that's where the "pee-aa!!!!" (pizza) usually is.

I also got a four-quadrant ottoman in our living room. I divided her toys in the four sections, and she gets one section per day. So less toys for me to pick up, and she gets "new" things every day. Her stuffies and books are (supposed to be) in her room, and her tea set/wooden table and chairs and annoying-blinky-blinky-relative-gifted toys (activity table, ball popper) are in our office.

Everything gets dragged from room to room, though, every single day. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff, I think, just to make it easier on myself with cleaning and picking up. And start storing things really high up. Like on those poles you use while camping so the bears don't get your backpacks.


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## CalaRei (Mar 10, 2008)

I am totally not looking forward to more years of this. I'm a messy person by nature, but I try to control it. It is incredibly demoralizing to me every day that yeah... I can get a load of laundry folded, but in that time four drawers of shirts are emptied and need to be folded again, too. DH had to give up the bottom drawer of his dresser to toys for them to dig in.

I keep the kitchen gated off, because I can't handle them underfoot in there right now. Anything within their reach is ok for them, generally. I try to tidy up a few times a day, and teach it like a game, but they're really too young for that of course. I'm also starting to take a hard line of being gentle with books.


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## Bebe's Mom (Jun 10, 2010)

Ah, books! DD likes to chew on hers...I let her chew on them, but I don't let her break the spines. DH says I am rough on books too...I spill stuff on them and don't use bookmarks, so I guess I am not setting a good example there. Oh, well.


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