# Not Mamas Yet Tribe Winter/Spring 2010



## oiseau

Welcome to the Not Mamas... Yet Tribe, Part XX (Winter/Spring 2010)









(Thanks Rico'sAlice for the text and Jenne for the previous thread sheparding!)

Iaorana! As-salaamu `alaykum! Merhaba! Γεια σου! Ãyubõván! Jambo! Hola! Boa tarde! Ciao! Guten Tag! Bonjour! Magandang Hapon Po! Selamat petang! Konnichiwa!

Hello! Returning members, glad you made it over, hope the trip wasn't too hard. Just put your feet up and relax for a while. We've got organic lemonade, coffee (regular and Swiss-water-process decaf), pastured raw milk, kombucha, kefir, whatever you're into. (No EBM available here- Sorry. Check out the Love Thread for that.)

Newbies! We are sooo excited you're here. We hope you stay a while and never leave... unless it is because you become a mama.

Anyway, this thread was originally started to give those of us who are not yet parents a forum here at MDC to discuss the unique concerns of those who are into NFL, and excited about AP but don't have any munchkins to apply these concepts to...yet. (Although some of us have furbabies, young family members, students, etc. that we are involved with.)

As I mentioned, a few of us have gotten pregnant while here, others are TTC now, some in the next few years, some of us aren't even close. We've also had the occasional visitor that is a "Not Mama...EVER" ie, male nannies and such. We're happy to have all y'all!

So here we are. And here you are. Let the party begin!

*NMY Offshoot Threads*

NMY Graduates Love Thread
NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part Two
NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part Three
NMY Graduates Love Thread, Part Four
NMY Fitness Thread

*Official NMY Status Roster*
Getting to know you...getting to know all about you...

Post in the thread if you want your information added, updated, or changed. If it seems as if I didn't see it, send me a PM. Thanks!

*Graduates*

Katt, age 30 mama to Teotimo since 12/27/06
~Shanna~ mama to Fenton Edward since 3/26/07
Holiztic mama to Quinn since 4/13/07
BeccaBear, age 28 -mama to Alexander Lewis since 5/6/07
Rico'sAlice, age 27 - mama to Johannes Edward since 5/20/07
turtle81 , age 25 - mama to Phillip since 6/02/07
farmama, age 29 - mama to Natalina since 7/17/07
Maela, age 26 - mama to Maev since 7/17/07
jodib, age 29 - mama to Rosalie Jayne since 7/23/07
PiePie, age 36 - mama to since 8/16/07
arelyn, age 25 - mama to Micaiah since 8/16/07
hazieluna, age 35 - mama to Aidan Sebastian since 9/15/07
ATD_Mom, age 32 - mama to Alasdair since 9/16/07
Sihaya, age 24 - mama to Calvin since 12/22/07
NJ*Doula, age 27 - mama since 3/16/08
blizzard_babe-mama to Issac Vincent since 05/06/08
cking- mama to Josephine Angela since 04/01/08
snozzberry-mama to Abigail Ann since 2/16/08
witchygrrl-mama to Rhea Ann since 8/1/08
zoebird- mama to Hawk Octavian since 8/30/08
asoulunbound - mama to Samara Marie since 10/25/08
MujerMamaMismo- mama to Sebastian Felix since 12/21/08
Kriket - mama to Sirius J since 4/24/09
Mama Khi - mama to Abigail since 6/18/09
Sk8ermaiden - mama to Elle since 7/12/09
CourtBChase - mama to Eleanor Sage since 7/19/09
AsYouWish- mama to DonnaLucia since 9/14/09
JessicaRenee - mama to Jude since 9/25/09
Texmati - mama to Ishaan since 9/22/09
LibertyBelle- mama since 10/09
CalaRei- mama to Tycho & Kepler 10/29/09
jaclyn7 - mama to Kiefer since 11/26/09
Andee-mama to baby Danger since 12/08/09
MEcatlady17- mama to Hannah Lee since 1/19/10
GuavaGirl-mama to Eli James since 2/21/10
RhiOrion - mama to Loreli Ruth since 4/8/10
Oztok5 - mama to a little boy since 5/3/10
Tippy - mama to Julius Luciano since 5/30/10

*Pregnant*
APBTlover due 10/2010
Monarchgrrl due 10/2010
Jenne due 2/2011
*
TTC Now & Later*
aquarius aspiring (2011?)
ashcav
Brown Lioness
cak1207 (currently)
CAndMe
Charliemae
Freud
Hesperia (currently)
JlyGrnMigt (August 2010)
Knittinanny
Kyamo (currently)
lakeruby (summer?)
lapis (currently)
monkeyscience (late 2010/2011)
MrsD08 (currently)
musiclovinglife
nemrac917 (2012?)
Neuromancer (2010/2011)
objet_trouve (2010)
Oiseau (sometime between 2013-2015)
Shaina
sleepingbeauty (Jan 2013)
stretch358
zejh-mama to Joseph







10/9/09

*
Not Sure Yet*
Chloe2326
gfreelishy
joiedevivre184
Kimiij
Knitty Gritty
ladyinred
Sage.Naissance
TwilightJoy
Zephyrine

*Planning to Adopt*
crunchysamma
w8ing4myDD








*Birthdays*









*January*
Tippy...15th

*February*
Kyamo&#8230;10th
Neuromancer...19th, 1977

*March*
stretch358&#8230;5th
CAndMe...8th

*April*
APBTlover

*May*
RhiOrion...19th
ashcav...22nd, 1987
lapis...24th

*June*
sleepingbeauty...23rd, 1989
Jenne&#8230;24th

*July*
ladyinred&#8230; 4th, 1981

*August*
Oiseau...5th
Sage.Naissance...28th
joiedevivre184...26th

*September*
Knitty Gritty... 6th
nemrac917...17th

*October*
JlyGnrMigt...8th
Hesperia...12th
Brown Lioness...16tn,1979
*
November*
MrsD08...3rd
zejh...18th
Monarchgrrl...20th, 1977

*December*
Shaina&#8230;5th, 1988
Knittinanny...12th

Post in the thread if you want your information added, updated, or changed. If it seems as if I didn't see it, send me a PM and I will do my best to fix it. Thanks!


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## oiseau

I just spent the morning cleaning up & updating this new NMY thread, hoping a fresh thread might revive interest/conversation.

I was amazed at how many old members got bumped to the graduates category!! Congrats to all the new mamas!

In terms of cleaning up, I got rid of anyone who hadn't posted on MDC at all in the past 6 or so months. If I deleted you and you still want to be on the list, just let me know and I'll put you back. Returning members, let me know if anything needs updated! If you're a new member and want to go on the list, just post a message with your stats and I'll add you. Tell me when you plan to TTC or adopt and when your birthday is and anything else you care to share.

I hope this kicks some life into the 20th (!!) installment of the NMY thread!


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## Neuromancer

My info looks correct! Thanks for putting me on the list.

I bought a 2010 calendar yesterday and I'm using it as a sort of schedule+diary with a focus on things related to perhaps becoming a Mama in the next year or two. I can mark my periods and keep track of my efforts to exercise more and eat better, as well as books to read and resources to keep in mind. I'm a researcher and list maker by nature, so I find this all very calming.









It's my hope we'll start TTC some time this spring or summer. In the meantime, I'm happy to have MDC as a resource.


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## kimiij

Could you please put me under "Not Sure" in the TTC date section. Also, could you remove all of my birthday info?

I'll have to be back later to do an actual check-in?


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## oiseau

Yay! I was getting a little worried that no one was going to join the new thread!

Kimiij, I made those changes for you.

I'll be back when I'm more awake (just got up), but I was thinking re-introductions/updates might be a good way to get a conversation moving.


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## knittinanny

Hey, I'm still here!









Not sure about TTC 2010 now. Going through a bad patch over here -possibly separating from DP and sort of freaking out over it.














Also really grieving the loss of TTC (we were planning to start actually trying no later than October 09...everything was lined up and ready to go) and, well, my whole life as I know it. I'm not really interested in being a SMBC, and I don't know how things will work out with DP, but it's not looking good over here.

I guess we'll see what the future brings! I'm not at MDC as much as I used to be because it's hard for me right now, but I also really love the support and community, so I'll be here some.

How is everyone else?


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## chloe2326

Yay, I'm so glad to see a thread for those of us who don't have wee ones yet. I'm a mama at heart! So...yeah, about me...
My name is Chloé - 24 yo, student midwife, apprentice herbalist. My fiance and I broke up about 6months ago, so no TTC for the forseeable future. But I do spend lots of time with my "niece" and "nephew" (not biological) and they warm my heart.
Anyway, really hope to get to know you all xoxo


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## oiseau

Knittinanny-sorry things are rough right now. I hope things work out for the best.
Also, welcome Chloe and welcome back everyone else.

My impetus for restarting the thread is mainly that I'm going to be in the NMY category for the foreseeable future and I wanted some company.


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## cak1207

I want to join! I need a thread that I can participate in. I guess I'll introduce myself. I'm Cali and I'm 25. I'm married to my Chiro husband. We opened our own practice March of last year. We have 3 furbaby kitties. In my free time I am dipping into photography. Baby steps!

As for TTC. We've been trying for feels like forever! We've had many many m/c and chemicals. Still holding out. Some days are better than others. Though this week I have found out 4 of my friends are pregnant. That makes my days rougher. I'm glad to find a thread with common gals.


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## Thursday's Twin

I am 27 and currently in grad school and don't plan on trying for kids for a several more years. I want to finish school, get my CPA, get married, and be working for a while before I have kids. I keep thinking that for me, mid 30's would be a great time to start a family. I have been with my bf for going on 2 years now, but I know his time line is probably a bit longer than mine, so not sure where that will go. My sister is a member of mothering, and has three wonderful little girls that I love spending time with. We always say we live vicariously through the other, she is my twin, hence my name, hers is thursday_girl. I secretly hope that I will have twin girls too







, which is very possible given the age I'd like to have children









I enjoy learning through my sister's experiences about being a mother, and joined mothering because of the experience she has had with the community here. It is nice to see that there is a thread for people like me!


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## Neuromancer

Knittinanny -- I'm sorry to read that things are tough for you right now. I'm glad you're allowing yourself to grieve.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chloe2326* 
Yay, I'm so glad to see a thread for those of us who don't have wee ones yet. I'm a mama at heart! So...yeah, about me...
My name is Chloé - 24 yo, student midwife, apprentice herbalist. My fiance and I broke up about 6months ago, so no TTC for the forseeable future. But I do spend lots of time with my "niece" and "nephew" (not biological) and they warm my heart.
Anyway, really hope to get to know you all xoxo









Chloé, that's very cool. The more I read, the more I wish I had the courage to study midwifery. I don't mean that in an insulting way, like the way some people use "courage" to mean they think a choice is actually "crazy."









I can relate to your feelings about your "niece." My best friend's daughter is a year and a half old and I almost worry that if I have my own kid he/she couldn't possibly be as wonderful as my friend's kid.







It seems like a lot of us in this thread have a kid or two to be really fond of.

Jess - my inlaws are both biologists, and they have always had tons of animals. They work together, too, and have for years.

I'm sorry to read about your diagnosis, but I'm glad your treatment will be over this summer.

My husband and I (I'm 33 next month; he'll be 32 this summer) are dealing with different levels of enthusiasm, too, but both of us also waffle back and forth on our own. Having a child seems very desirable to me and very scary!

Cali - What a hard week to find out about 4 friends' pregnancies when you're TTC. I have been very jealous of my friends who have had babies even while I struggle to decide if that decision is right for me, so I can only imagine what you're going through.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thursday's Twin* 
I keep thinking that for me, mid 30's would be a great time to start a family.









Thursday's Twin -- I hold on to that hope for myself, too!


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## oiseau

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Neuromancer* 
I can relate to your feelings about your "niece." My best friend's daughter is a year and a half old and I almost worry that if I have my own kid he/she couldn't possibly be as wonderful as my friend's kid.







It seems like a lot of us in this thread have a kid or two to be really fond of.


That's what's been getting me through the past few years. I've had 2 different families that I've babysat for pretty regularly in the past two places I've lived. I just got to visit the kids I babysat for the last year and a half while I lived in Boston over New Years. I totally got a cold from them that made me miss a chemo treatment, but I have no regrets!! Their mom had called to let me know they were a little sick and I told her that as long as no one licked me or anything, I'd be ok. Her response was "Well, I can't guarantee that!" They're 4 and 2. We had an excellent visit.
When I'm at home, I really only get to see my unofficial god-daughter (my best friend's daughter). Her first birthday is next weekend and I'm so looking forward to the party! Since she's either at home with mom or dad, or being babysat by her grandma, she's my safe kid. She doesn't get exposed to other kid germs, so I have no worries about visiting her or having her over to my house. She could even lick me if she wanted lol (her kisses are essentially licks at this point).
I had a really rough time when her mom started TTC because she is the first of my friends to have kids. I was really conflicted because I was simultaneously happy for her, but at the same time, really sad that I was still having to wait my turn. I came down to visit her when E was 3 weeks old and pretty much just got over it then. It mainly just took time to get over my sadness, but it was gone by the time she was born. We've since moved back to the area and I'm just enjoying being close and watching E grow (she just started walking!).
Since TTC is totally on hold right now, I've don't really feel that pang of sadness knowing friends are pregnant (though none currently are...). I'm just kinda keeping the thought of my future babies in my head as I go through treatment. It'll be the prize at the end.
anyway, this is getting rambly...I'm in a chemo daze from my treatment yesterday and I would probably be better off asleep right now. But I'd be really interested to hear how others deal with having to be patient and/or the sadness the sometimes accompanies the waiting.


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## Neuromancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I had a really rough time when her mom started TTC because she is the first of my friends to have kids. I was really conflicted because I was simultaneously happy for her, but at the same time, really sad that I was still having to wait my turn. I came down to visit her when E was 3 weeks old and pretty much just got over it then. It mainly just took time to get over my sadness, but it was gone by the time she was born. We've since moved back to the area and I'm just enjoying being close and watching E grow (she just started walking!).

I felt conflicted when my friend got pregnant, too. I'm a little older than most of my friends (by a year or two) and in the longest relationship of any of our friends who are couples (by 5 years or so), so I always assumed my husband and I would be the first to have a baby. I was a little jealous that my friend had stolen "my" thunder, even while I knew that was silly, and I was also sad that I didn't have that in my life yet. You're right, you get over it in time -- especially once you get to meet that little baby. I've seen the child a few times a week for a year and a half, and it has been amazing. Even though I'm not her mom, we have a special bond, and I love her mom so much that i just had to get over myself a little.









Quote:

I'd be really interested to hear how others deal with having to be patient and/or the sadness the sometimes accompanies the waiting.
I don't have any good coping strategies. It still makes me sad to wait sometimes, even though I'm not sure I'm ready for a baby. I talk to my husband about it sometimes, but try not to lay it all on him too much. And I distract myself with activities it would be harder to do with a baby (movies, cooking elaborate meals, lots of exercise and reading and knitting). That helps me be patient.


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## w8ing4myDD

Hey there! I'm Lisa, and I have 2 furry kids and a great hubs.
I haven't been around here in a looong time! We are still waiting to adopt fro China, although at this point we are also thinking about looking into other options....

...I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I can say that I do know what it's like to be sad during the "wait" (we hit our 3 year wait anniversary in Dec), especially when dealing with family and friends and their pregnancies....

Lisa


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## oiseau

I've been really annoyed the past few days since I got some annoying family news.
Backstory: On my mom's side of the family, I have 4 cousins. 3 of them are siblings (my uncle's kids). These kids grew up in a pretty crappy situation and started procreating young and rapidly. The cousins are a girl, MD who is the same age as me (26), D, ~25 yr old guy and MS, another girl who is 23ish? MD has 3 boys between age 9 and 6-ish and is pregnant right now. D has 3 kids age 3(girl) , 2(boy) and a newborn boy. MS has two girls ages 3 & 2 and is pregnant right now. I have pretty much no contact with any of these cousins as we grew up and still live on opposite sides of the country.

Anyway, my mom was telling me about D's new baby the other day and how my grandma was really upset. Grandma is upset because the baby was born with 2 thumbs and apparently he needs to see a specialist at a hospital kinda far away to have the 2nd thumb removed. My grandma apparently kept insisting that she doesn't think D and his gf will take the baby to the Dr. I started reassuring my mom that I was sure they'd take the baby to the dr when my mom was like, "Well, grandma doesn't think they will because D's gf was on meth the whole pregnancy and still is and they don't do anything..." *sigh* My mom then proceeded to tell me how MD is the babysitter for all the little kids but she is an alcoholic who drinks a fifth of liquor a day. My mom was going on and on about it and I finally just had to stop her. I don't think she realized that it probably wasn't the best story to tell me....who desperately wants a baby but has to wait because I have cancer right now. That's the kind of thing that is super frustrating. I'm sure my cousins totally take it for granted that they can just have as many babies as possible and just ignore them. I feel so bad for all those babies and just so annoyed that I have to keep waiting to have my babies and just take care of them and love them every minute.
...At least this is all on the other side of the country!

(my boyfriend's response was "It would be SO AWESOME to have two thumbs!!")


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## w8ing4myDD

Oiseau, I'm so sorry you had such a frustrating time with your family! They really can be insensitive, can't they?

Your boyfriend's response was great! Good thing you're near him and not them!

lisa


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## oiseau

.


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## objet_trouve

Can I join?

We're planning on starting to try in the next couple months. Want to talk to my doctor first. I'm taking prenatal vitamins and studying as best I can (I get it from my mom. We both have to research EVERYTHING before we go anywhere near it).

So we're researching everything from circumcision (opposed) to vaccinations (still figuring it out, half-opposed so far) to baby names (We like the name Ace. We're silly Texans, I know. He has a great uncle named Tubby, and it's not a nickname!), and we talk about parenting strategies A LOT. Seems to me we're most excited about the prospect of having teenage boys someday. I don't always know what to do with a baby, but I can totally handle teenage boys.

So, wondering...what do I talk about with my doctor? I'm too nervous to talk to my mom or sister about it until I'm sure I'm pregnant, for various reasons (nothing bad about them, it's just an odd situation). So I came here to see what I can see! What should I know?


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## MrsD08

*Can I be added?*

I'm 24, currently TTC with a Male infertility factor. My birthday is November 3rd. Is that all the info that is needed?


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## MrsD08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *objet_trouve* 
So, wondering...what do I talk about with my doctor?

With my PCP she just did my annual physical to make sure I was a-ok for pregnancy. She told me I should lose a bit of weight, but that wasn't a surprise. Hmmm...she made sure I was taking a prenatal w/ folic acid and DHA. That was it! I don't have an OB/Midwife so I asked when I should get one and she said as soon as their office confirmed a pregnancy w/ a Beta that I could call the midwife's office.

Something I've been spending a lot of time on is a binder my Doula gave me. I've been working on my birth plan. That's another thing you can discuss w/ DP.

We have a Male Infertility Factor so we're not even sure if we'll be able to have biological children. So I've also spent a lot of time researching and exploring my feelings on IUI, IVF, Adoption, Sperm Donor, Know Sperm Donor, etc. There is a LOT of information and it's VERY overwhelming.

Hmmm...what else....
I recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. And, it wouldn't hurt to come peak over in the TTC boards! We have a lot of women over there that are "Wanting but Waiting" or "Ready by Waiting" etc.

GL!


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## MrsD08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I've been really annoyed the past few days since I got some annoying family news.
Backstory: On my mom's side of the family, I have 4 cousins. 3 of them are siblings (my uncle's kids). These kids grew up in a pretty crappy situation and started procreating young and rapidly. The cousins are a girl, MD who is the same age as me (26), D, ~25 yr old guy and MS, another girl who is 23ish? MD has 3 boys between age 9 and 6-ish and is pregnant right now. D has 3 kids age 3(girl) , 2(boy) and a newborn boy. MS has two girls ages 3 & 2 and is pregnant right now. I have pretty much no contact with any of these cousins as we grew up and still live on opposite sides of the country.

Anyway, my mom was telling me about D's new baby the other day and how my grandma was really upset. Grandma is upset because the baby was born with 2 thumbs and apparently he needs to see a specialist at a hospital kinda far away to have the 2nd thumb removed. My grandma apparently kept insisting that she doesn't think D and his gf will take the baby to the Dr. I started reassuring my mom that I was sure they'd take the baby to the dr when my mom was like, "Well, grandma doesn't think they will because D's gf was on meth the whole pregnancy and still is and they don't do anything..." *sigh* My mom then proceeded to tell me how MD is the babysitter for all the little kids but she is an alcoholic who drinks a fifth of liquor a day. My mom was going on and on about it and I finally just had to stop her. I don't think she realized that it probably wasn't the best story to tell me....who desperately wants a baby but has to wait because I have cancer right now. That's the kind of thing that is super frustrating. I'm sure my cousins totally take it for granted that they can just have as many babies as possible and just ignore them. I feel so bad for all those babies and just so annoyed that I have to keep waiting to have my babies and just take care of them and love them every minute.
...At least this is all on the other side of the country!

(my boyfriend's response was "It would be SO AWESOME to have two thumbs!!")










We had to wait longer than we wanted for medical reasons too. It's still really hard when I hear about someone who really shouldn't be having a baby for tons of reasons. My DH watches Tru-TV, American Jail...or whatever it's called...and there was a girl on it (not a woman, a girl) who was pregnant and was being charged w/ solicitation (at 7 months pregnant) and drug possession. She had no defense for the solicitation, but said she had gotten off drugs 3 months prior when she found out she was pregnant. That means for her whole first trimester + she was using. GRRRRRRR!!


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## objet_trouve

Wow! I was worried mine would want all kinds of histories and ask a lot of questions...I don't know why, I think I'm just paranoid about my doctor. Makes sense in retrospect.

I've been on prenatals for about a month now. The weight thing is an interesting issue for me, I'm recovering from something that made me gain a lot of localized weight (made me look and feel pregnant when I wasn't) and not be able to lose it. I figure my doctor will want to talk a bit about that.

Thank you for all the advice, I really appreciate it!


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## MrsD08

I guess it might depend on how long you've been seeing that doctor. I've been seeing mine for 2 1/2 years, but they have records from my previous doctor. I saw the previous doctor for 22 years, so, you know, lol.


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## lakeruby

I'd like to join!

I've been over at the Wanting But Waiting thread for a little while. I'm 28 and love kids-- I get my "mama fix" for now through my wonderful dog, my nephew, and friends' babies. SO MANY of my friends are having babies, and several of them are mamas 2 and 3 times over by now. I always thought I'd have kids at a young age, but I guess that ship has sailed, and sometimes it's hard for me to reconcile that fantasy with my reality!

I'm not married but have been with DP for going on 5 years. Things seem to be up and down with us, and I think that is one reason we have waited, although we've been talking about it for years! He is ready, and I am *mostly* ready, but sometimes we have trouble really communicating, or he shows me that he is immature in his self-care, and I reconsider...I think he will be a great dad, but I'm not sure if he's someone I could be with *forever.* My parents divorced when I was 5 and I have a great relationship with both of them, and they have a great relationship with each other, so I have hope that if it doesn't work out in the long run with DP, that we could still raise an awesome kid together! I really want to have a baby before I'm 30, and he's a wonderful person, so....I feel like we should go for it! On the other hand, I wonder if it's really the best decision to choose to have a baby with someone that you aren't 100% sure about... But I'm also the kind of person that (very likely) will never be 100% sure about ANYTHING.
Food for thought, anyway!

At any rate, I've been preparing for pregnancy for a few months now-- I _finally_ got around to charting (using my handy copy of TCOYF) and have been drinking herbal infusions and taking a vitex tincture and evening primrose oil and cod liver oil. I'm also transitioning into eating meat, after being a veg for 15 years. I subscribed to Mothering and have been loving this forum! I also bought several parenting and pregnancy books that I'm looking forward to reading soon. I have a to-do list of things that need to be accomplished before TTC, and we're trying to save up some money-- so if all goes as planned, we could start trying this summer!

Sorry for the long post, but I'm glad to have found you gals!


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## lakeruby

subbing


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## MrsD08

So has anyone heard from OP? Starting to wonder if everything is okay. Is it usually this slow in here?


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## oiseau

This thread used to be really fast moving, but in the past year it's slowed down to almost nothing. I'd love to see it pick up again.

Welcome to all the new people!!


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## KaylaBeanie

I'd like to join









My name is Kayla, and I'm 20(only 6.5 months until the big 21!). Since I am currently single and have about 4 years left until I graduate college (had to take some time off for health reasons after a crappy two semesters), marriage and babies are so far on the back burner that they're in somebody else's kitchen









I joined MDC a year ago, because I'm sloooooowly training to become a doula. I got into all things natural birth when my niece was born via midwife 3 years ago. Since then, I've become much more crunchy. I practice yoga, am a vegetarian, recycle to the point of being obnoxious to most people, and actually have a sign on the inside of the front door saying "Do you have the green bags?!" so my family doesn't forget









It's really frustrating right now, because so many of my high school classmates are having their first babies, and they're doing just fine. They're getting the support from their boyfriend and family to stay at home, finish school, etc. And they're screwing it up(in my humble opinion







)! Not a single one (out of the 8 or so) has had anything resembling a natural birth. The only girl who was not induced went into labor at 35 weeks. Just in the last 6 days, two girls from the grade above me had failed inductions (one at 39 weeks, the other at 41 weeks) that led to c-sections. Only one of all my FB friend mommies are nursing. Normally, I am 100% pro-choice when it comes to birth and feeding choices, but really...I read all the things they post. This is not informed consent.

To wrap up that loooong summary, it is frustrating because if I were to get unexpectedly pregnant, I know I would do a great job as a mom, whereas I see my peers making a lot of mistakes (partying, going out all the time without baby, etc).


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## oiseau

.


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## MrsD08

Kayla, I love your signature! I'm not allowed to have that many little smilies in my siggy yet...









Kayla, I want to be a Doula too!

There's a new gym in town that I really want to join. We're used to the chain franchise gyms, but this one isn't. They have a mineral pool (I'm allergic to chlorine) and they hold classes, as well as having the equipment. Yes, the other gyms don't have classes!! I still need to go check out their classes, but I think I'm going to do Yoga for beginners, Zumba and Water Aerobics. I just hope they stay open and thrive.

I'm glad you're okay oiseau, I was worried about you!


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## KaylaBeanie

Thanks







I love my siggy too







I finally thought to add in the "second generation" co-sleeper. I slept with my parents until I was about 6, my sister until she was 7. My parents, outside of hospital birth/formula feeding were pretty AP minded. I also love your baby names! Being the hopeless daydreamer that I am, if I were to immaculately conceive right now, I'd do Bodhi for a boy (Bo for short) and Lux for a girl. I love names, always have. I'm the girl who has to look up the meaning of everyone's name


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## oiseau

MrsD08--I'm usually on here every day, regardless of how I'm feeling, I just sometimes feel too tired to think/type. Most of the time, I'm stuck at home bored out of my mind, so it's nice to have others here to talk to. Alternatively, when I'm well enough, I go to work which tires me out so much that I also don't have the energy to type...just read.


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## MrsD08

The first boy will be Dillon Richard Lee, the first girl will be Charlotte Marsha Mae. The second boy will be Collin Kendall Scott and the second girl will be Abbigail Francine Rose. We absolutely need a Charlie, so if we have 2 boys (Dillon and Collin) we'll try once more. If it's a girl, it's Charlotte, if it's a boy it's Charles.

Dillon, Collin and Abbigail are names that we really like, no real significance.

Richard was my father's name. Lee is my FIL's and DH's middle name.

Marsha Mae was my MIL's name. Mae was my grandmother's middle name.

FIL's name is Kenneth, so we'll use Kendall to honor him. Scott is DH's name.

Francine Rose is my sister's name. Rose was my mother's middle name.

Charlotte will be Charlie for short. My grandfather's name was Charlie and no one in the family has named a child after him yet.


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## oiseau

.


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## Neuromancer

I'm back on MDC after a break for a week or so. I was feeling really discouraged after a frank conversation (that, thankfully, did not turn into an argument, but still left me sad) with my husband. He's not sure about TTC later this year, but he said if I could give him 6 months to think about it, that would help. So I'm trying. Can I count the 6 months from January?









In the meantime, though, we've been talking about it more, with no pressure. I got a bunch of books from the library, and he's listening to the audio version of Michael Chabon's book on fatherhood/manhood. Last night, I read him a section of a book I'm reading on ethnopediatrics while he cooked dinner.

I had to go talk to my doctor on Wednesday about a trip we're thinking about taking, and I told her that when I have my annual checkup in August I want to talk to her about preconception stuff. Even if we don't end up TTC this year, I'd rather be safe than unprepared if my husband decides he's ready after all.

I have a huge list of names.







I love naming. But I try not to think about it too actively. Still, if I hear a name I like I jot it down and add it to the list later.


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## KaylaBeanie

I'm actually really, really glad at some of the health decisions I've been making, because it will be less to worry about when I do TTC down the road. Assuming I have no "oops" babies while in college(not happening, no oops for me), it's 5-10 years until I'll have kids. That means 6+ years of being vegetarian, vax-free, practicing yoga/meditation, etc. I'm glad I'm sort of a health freak...except for Doritos, pizza and diet coke that is









If we're delving into names, I'll bite! First daughter's middle name will be Dian, no matter what. It's my middle name and my grandma's first name. My grandma(mom's mom) is my best friend. I stay with her all the time, and we talk almost every day. I've actually considered using Dian as a first name, but I'm not sure. I'd always (since I was ten) imagined I'd use the name Isabelle for my first daughter(to honor my grandpa, since it was his mom's name), but now that it's regularly on the top name lists, I'll pass. I like Lux a lot, I have ever since reading "The Virgin Suicides" when I was younger. Boys names are so much harder. The only one I really like other than Bodhi is Milo.

So, what are you all doing for birth control? I went off the pill November 08 because the hormones were wreaking havoc on my body. I had an appointment to get the copper IUD in January 09, but my relationship ended so I cancelled the appointment. It makes me worried about what I'll do when I start dating again. I always thought I'd use condoms and spermicide, but I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the risks and hassle of that. I worried about conceiving on the pill, and I was 99% protected there! The failure rate of condoms and spermicide are much higher. My other option would be to go to the OB/GYN and erm, exaggerate my relationship status to get the paragard, since they're unlikely to give it to a single 20 year old. I know the risks, and they're pretty minor in my mind. Plus, my insurance runs out in 1.5 years, and until then I can get it dirt cheap. It would take two appointments, one to get approved and one to get it inserted, and I have a $12 co-pay per appointment. The IUD itself is free. So, the thought of being totally set in the BC department until I'm married and TTC, all for $24 and no hormonal problems, is very appealing.


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## oiseau

We just use condoms as well as a bit of FAM. Like I said upthread, I stopped temping last year, but I pay attention to cervical mucous and I have a really regular cycle, so I always know approximately when I'm ovulating (within a couple days). Due to my health issues, we don't actually have sex all that often, so that helps too I guess in the birth control department. Before my chemo, we were kinda sloppy about condom use, but I'm much stricter now since an oops would be horrible.
I did the pill for awhile when I was in college and it didn't do good things to my brain, so when I broke up with my previous boyfriend, I quit taking it. I plan to stay away from hormonal BC for the rest of my life. I think FAM + condoms will probably always be a good solution for us, though my boyfriend is open to a vasectomy after we have kids (actually he's open to it now, but he knows I want kids so he has to wait).

I wondered if Lux came from the Virgin Suicides. I also have a really hard time with boy names for some reason. Girl names are so much easier for me. We were talking last night about the name Miri, short for Miriam....from the movie Zack & Miri make a porno. We both really like Miri, but I feel weird about it being from a movie about making a porno (though I really love that movie!).


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## lakeruby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
Thanks







I also love your baby names! Being the hopeless daydreamer that I am, if I were to immaculately conceive right now, I'd do Bodhi for a boy (Bo for short) and Lux for a girl. I love names, always have. I'm the girl who has to look up the meaning of everyone's name









Lux is a really cool name! I like it!


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## lakeruby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
We just use condoms as well as a bit of FAM. Like I said upthread, I stopped temping last year, but I pay attention to cervical mucous and I have a really regular cycle, so I always know approximately when I'm ovulating (within a couple days). Due to my health issues, we don't actually have sex all that often, so that helps too I guess in the birth control department. Before my chemo, we were kinda sloppy about condom use, but I'm much stricter now since an oops would be horrible.
I did the pill for awhile when I was in college and it didn't do good things to my brain, so when I broke up with my previous boyfriend, I quit taking it. I plan to stay away from hormonal BC for the rest of my life. I think FAM + condoms will probably always be a good solution for us, though my boyfriend is open to a vasectomy after we have kids (actually he's open to it now, but he knows I want kids so he has to wait).

I wondered if Lux came from the Virgin Suicides. I also have a really hard time with boy names for some reason. Girl names are so much easier for me. We were talking last night about the name Miri, short for Miriam....from the movie Zack & Miri make a porno. We both really like Miri, but I feel weird about it being from a movie about making a porno (though I really love that movie!).


oiseau-- we use condoms and FAM too and are fine with that. I don't plan on taking any hormone-based birth control. We are open to tubal ligation/vasectomy after we have kids, but I think that FAM would work for me until menopause, too. I kind of like the routine of charting. I do wish I had a doctor that knew more about it and could help me figure things out when I have questions-- I'm always pulling out my copy of TCOYF to look things up!

I think Miri is a gorgeous name! I wouldn't worry about where it came from. You could probably think of an unpleasant situation where _every_ name is used.


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## oiseau

.


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## MrsD08

When we weren't TTC we were using condoms. DH never wants to go back to them and I never want to go on hormonal BC. So we'll probably follow FAM.

Have you ladies ever used Nymbler? It's a really great baby name site. You enter or select names you like and Nymbler searches for names that compliment that name or are like that name. I had a whole list of names I liked and DH thumbed down ALL of them but one. So I just pulled up Nymbler, entered a couple names and kept searching through the names with him until we had a couple to pick from. You can favorite the ones you like and you can remove names you don't like. The only suggestion I have is once you've got a list generated, email it to yourself because Nymbler doesn't keep it for you. I learned that the hard way.

I really like Nolan and I think I always will, DH doesn't like it.


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## oiseau

I like the Nymbler site, but it overwhelms me a bit. I like lists better. There's a site, I think it's just called Name Nerds or something that has the best lists. I especially enjoy the goth baby name list (not that I'm goth, I just think it's a funny list...with some good names on it actually). They also have a list called "It was found in the baby name book" which is all these insane names that actually came from baby name books geared towards the average american family. My favorite on that list is Nenemoosha. Whenever I'm actually pregnant, if people ask if I have a name picked out, I'll have something different to tell people every day so I can mess with them.


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## MrsD08

We're going to keep the names secret for people IRL once we're pregnant. We still haven't decided if we'll find out the sex or not and if we do if we'll tell everyone else.

I'll have to check out that name site.


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## oiseau

I went there after I posted earlier and they have a new thing: lists of names submitted by people who visit the site w/ comments on why they like then. There are some crazy names on there!! Kept me entertained for a good hour or two!!


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## terrordactyl

hey everyone i'm still around


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## sleepingbeauty

Can I come hang out with you guys? My name is Kristin. I am 20 years old. I am getting married next year to my sweetie-pie who is 19. MY birthday is June 23rd. We don't have a TTC date jsut yet.


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## Kyamo

Oh, NMYs are posting again!

We're actually TTC now, so could I be moved to that list? However, the bad news is I have ovulated only once since I stopped taking BC pills in the middle of Oct, and that was before we were TTC. This isn't a huge surprise to me, given my period history from before the pill, but its still really depressing. I'm suspecting possibly PCOS, but I haven't seen a doctor about it yet. I am thinking I will still be a NMY for quite a while....


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## oiseau

sleepingbeauty-I added you. Welcome









Welcome back Shaina & Kyamo! It's not super busy here, but I'm trying to slowly bring the NMY thread back to life. I'm gonna be here for quite awhile, so I'd like some company.


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## KaylaBeanie

Oiseau- I see from your sig you have chickens? Do you use them for meat, or for pets/eggs? I occasionally think how nice it would be to have a few hens someday for pets/eggs, but I hear they are a ton of work.

I have my first Anthropology test tomorrow, and I'm slacking on the studying hardcore. Sometimes, I hate school. I wish I had the money to live on so I could go to the International School of Midwifery in Florida. Dream big, right? Knowing I have about 4 years left in school seems overwhelming sometimes!

Life in general is picking up. I went to my first GSA meeting through my school. Overall, it went well. Obviously it is interesting adapting to being a minority in a group, in this case straight in a primarily GLBTQ group. They're all really nice though, and I look forward to all the upcoming events









I'm going to see my favorite musician tomorrow! I have to drive an hour to see him, but it's so worth it. I've been dying of excitement for weeks.

Well, I'm off to study and talk to my brother. For a 29 year old man, he can be so immature. He ordered some super fancy self-propelling vacuum cleaner. I told him I hate vacuuming and want all hardwood floors, since I prefer sweeping even if you have to do it more often. He said "Oh I forgot who I was talking to, you know it all."


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## MrsD08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kyamo* 
Oh, NMYs are posting again!

We're actually TTC now, so could I be moved to that list? However, the bad news is I have ovulated only once since I stopped taking BC pills in the middle of Oct, and that was before we were TTC. This isn't a huge surprise to me, given my period history from before the pill, but its still really depressing. I'm suspecting possibly PCOS, but I haven't seen a doctor about it yet. I am thinking I will still be a NMY for quite a while....

If you don't mind me asking, what type of BC were you using? I've heard women say that it took up to 6-8 months for their cycles to return to normal, even if it's not their normal prior to BC. Maybe consult the nurse at your PCP's office or OB's office (the one that prescribed the BC) and ask them how long it usually takes. In either way, I hope you're not here long!


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## Kyamo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsD08* 
If you don't mind me asking, what type of BC were you using? I've heard women say that it took up to 6-8 months for their cycles to return to normal, even if it's not their normal prior to BC. Maybe consult the nurse at your PCP's office or OB's office (the one that prescribed the BC) and ask them how long it usually takes. In either way, I hope you're not here long!

I was on Alesse, and yes I'm aware that coming off the pill it can take some time to go back to normal. However, everything I've read seems to say that it may take some time, but your cycles should go back to how they were before you were on the pill. And they have, it seems. Before I was on the pill, I would get a real period maybe 2-3 times a year, and between that I would have "periods" which were 3-4 weeks of spotting. So I think I have good reason to worry, even there is still a small chance things might even out with more time. I have an appointment for a regular physical in March with my family doctor who prescribed the pills, so I will bring it up at that time.


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## lapis

: ) can I join?

been ttc for a WHILE... but still not a mama.

I am however a loooongtime nanny, sometimes postpartum doula. I guess I'm a dog mom. I recently moved to Austria (I'm a west coaster... who moved east... and then MORE east!) with my DH, still ttc and you know, figuring out what I want to do with my life.

I like the Bday list: May 24 for me


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## sleepingbeauty

could you add my birthyear up too? I'm from 1989.


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## oiseau

I made those changes/additions.

Question for everyone: Right now the main thread has three categories: Pregnant, TTC 2010 & Beyond, and Not Sure Yet. The last two overlap, so do you want to split them up? If so, shoot me some suggestions on how best to do that (maybe TTC Now and TTC later/Not Sure Yet)?


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## KaylaBeanie

On the BC pill topic, I took my last nuva ring out in November 2008, and things still aren't normal. I started tracking with my first period off BC, and my cycles are all over the place, from 25-37 days. Before BC, my periods were every 29-30 days like clockwork. I'm not TTC obviously, but it is frustrating to have messed up my body like that.


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## MrsD08

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kyamo* 
So I think I have good reason to worry, even there is still a small chance things might even out with more time.

I wasn't saying you shouldn't worry!







I was just trying to get across the point that sometimes it takes a really long time for our bodies to adjust to not having all those hormones in us.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
On the BC pill topic, I took my last nuva ring out in November 2008, and things still aren't normal. I started tracking with my first period off BC, and my cycles are all over the place, from 25-37 days. Before BC, my periods were every 29-30 days like clockwork. I'm not TTC obviously, but it is frustrating to have messed up my body like that.

Sorry to say this Kayla, but I have heard the Nuva Ring is a big culprit of that. That's why I will never do hormonal BC again, ever. DH agrees with me, once I told him what happened to her body when a woman takes it.









On another note, I really want laying hens, but my DH doesn't share the same wants. We live on 3 acres so we have the room. Plus, our town allows up to 20 hens per acre (I think...if I remember correctly), then the numbers change if they're for meat, etc. Our friend (who lives in the same town when not at college) has laying hens at her father's house. They're really fun to watch. DH won't go near them. I think the real reason is he's got a bit of a fear of birds!


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## gfreelishy

Hi!
















I'd like to join this thread too!









I'm not quite sure if we needed to say our birth years or not? I saw someone said theirs... Mine is 1989! Ha.









I am currently a junior in college; studying abroad in Spain right now! I'm majoring in Special Education and minoring in Spanish. Over the last year or so I have joined my dearest BFF in the wonderful world of having a hippie/ crunchy lifestyle! I am on a gluten free diet, so I love organic/ natural foods. I recycle, save energy as much as possible, buy local, all that good stuff.









I have a slight fear of hospitals, and would love to have my kidlets at home in a tub. I want my baby to be born into a welcoming environment, and I personally don't find hospitals to be the most "welcoming" setting.







Kayla (said BFF from above) and I are going to be crunchy Moms together!














and I want to live a simple, zen life with my family. Before this year, I hadn't really thought about kids or anything that far into the future. But lately I've been super interested in learning about all the ways of motherhood! It's an exciting topic and I'm still exploring everything, hence why I joined here







Hoping/ excited to learn lots of new things from everyone!


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## oiseau

.


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## sleepingbeauty

Can I be moved? We have a date!!! Jan 2013!! Yaaaaaay!


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## gfreelishy

oiseau-- Ha ha, I am totally with you on the whole hospital thing! I'm sorry about the cancer and having to be in the hospital for that. I agree-- the smells and lack of freedom both the heck out of me! Plus they're not comfy, I don't think. I want to just chill at my house, eating what I want, laying where I want, etc. I don't want the stress of hospital people and settings to affect me and little one!

sleepingbeauty-- congrats!!!


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
I'm not TTC obviously, but it is frustrating to have messed up my body like that.

So with you on this Kay! But the biggest frustration (Kayla already knows this, but for everyone else) is my hair problem! Ever since I went on/off BC my hair has been all sorts of messed up! I used to have thick, long, wavy wonderful hair!!! Then as soon as I went off the BC, all of that was gone. I started losing hair rapidly, it had no volume, no texture, and was extremely thin.







My gosh, it was so horribly frustrating because I had no idea what was going on! It wasn't until I talked to Kayla and my mom about it that I even realized it was the BC that was the biggest culprit!







I haven't been on it for way over a year and it just now _slowly_ improving. I still have no wave or volume, but it's at least thickening up a bit. Still, stupid BC messing up my hormones!


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## oiseau

.


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## lakeruby

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I had the most vivid dream last night of giving birth to my first child. I've had dreams about being pregnant before, but never a dream about giving birth. It was pretty incredible (and almost pain free). The baby was a girl with big bright eyes. The dream started getting weird after she was born (at home, but not at any home I really recognized) because there were a ton of people there and I was apparently the only one with any idea what was going on....and the midwife couldn't get there in time. It was just a really strange dream and it's really sticking with me.

One of the bloggers I read writes a lot about all the dreams she had about her kids/births before she had them and how accurate they turned out, so now I'm just wondering if I just met my daughter in my dream....and I'm really hoping that pain-free easy birth is for real!

Wow! I have had a very similar dream! I had it a few months ago and it was very vivid. I was at a party-- possibly at my house, but it wasn't the house I live in now-- and I was pregnant and I was in the bathroom and I just had the baby. It didn't hurt and I caught her myself and she was just the most beautiful child EVER. She looked at me with her big eyes and I was in love. But...then the dream got a little weird because I left the bathroom and all these people were congratulating me and someone else told my DP before I could get to him and he was mad at me for not telling him, so he could be there. Hmm. Anyways-- I hope, too, hope the beautiful girl/ pain free birth dream is some kind of premonition! Wouldn't that be nice.


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lakeruby* 
Wow! I have had a very similar dream! I had it a few months ago and it was very vivid. I was at a party-- possibly at my house, but it wasn't the house I live in now-- and I was pregnant and I was in the bathroom and I just had the baby. It didn't hurt and I caught her myself and she was just the most beautiful child EVER. She looked at me with her big eyes and I was in love. But...then the dream got a little weird because I left the bathroom and all these people were congratulating me and someone else told my DP before I could get to him and he was mad at me for not telling him, so he could be there. Hmm. Anyways-- I hope, too, hope the beautiful girl/ pain free birth dream is some kind of premonition! Wouldn't that be nice.









and

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I had the most vivid dream last night of giving birth to my first child. I've had dreams about being pregnant before, but never a dream about giving birth. It was pretty incredible (and almost pain free). The baby was a girl with big bright eyes. The dream started getting weird after she was born (at home, but not at any home I really recognized) because there were a ton of people there and I was apparently the only one with any idea what was going on....and the midwife couldn't get there in time. It was just a really strange dream and it's really sticking with me.

One of the bloggers I read writes a lot about all the dreams she had about her kids/births before she had them and how accurate they turned out, so now I'm just wondering if I just met my daughter in my dream....and I'm really hoping that pain-free easy birth is for real!

On a semi-related note, yesterday, I had to go to the hospital for some bloodwork because my blood counts were all messed up from my chemo. The part of the hospital I go to has all the physicians offices and I swear there must be like 10 different OB offices. The parking garage is a nightmare and I'm always annoyed because half the spaces are reserved for expectant mothers and the other half for orthopedic patients. I don't begrudge the expectant mothers and orthopedic patients their spots, but it's frustrating to have to circle forever to find a far away spot when I'm all worn down from chemo. Well, yesterday, after my 2nd circle of the garage, one of the parking attendants just waved me into one of the expectant mother spots. I was so worn out I just went with it, but I'm mildly amused....apparently any female in their mid 20's in that garage is just assumed to be an expectant mother! I'd say I can't wait until I can legitimately park in that spot, but then, I hopefully won't be seeing an OB at a hospital when it's my time to be pregnant!

Wow! Well I definitely hope both of your birth experiences are pain free like your dreams! That is so crazy how vivid and detailed both of your dreams were though. And oiseau, hopefully you will be at your house and not have to worry about parking spots or anything when you're about to have the baby.


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## Mother Cake

Hi Folks!

Can I join this tribe? I found the wanting but waiting tribe a couple months ago, but this one sounds like it may serve my needs better right now. I haven't read all the post so far--I just wanted to introduce myself.

I have been wanting to be a mama since I was 3 years old. Seriously--my ambition at that age was to be a lighthouse keeper (where did I get that?) with 11 children. I've been a nanny and a baby sitter and a postpartum doula, while longing for children of my own for years.

Now my DH and I are starting to seriously talk about a timeline for TTC and I'm getting scared of all the big changes having a baby will make in my life. It's like now that it's finally in my face I have to face the reality, whereas before it was just a "someday" dream. Anyone else close to starting to TTC have similar thoughts/feelings?

At the moment, we are looking at starting to TTC no earlier than mid April. It was going to be March, but I just had surgery (unplanned) under an anesthetic that is known to be a terretogen and I want to give it at least two months to be fully out of my system. (I had to have my wisdom teeth out--not fun.







)

We also need to get our new apartment fully unpacked. I do not want to me 8 mo preg, much less caring for an infant, in a home full of boxes!


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## sleepingbeauty

i had a dream that I gave birth to a litter of kittens last night.  Not baby-sized. I mean KITTENS, the same way I've seen dozens of real kittens born. But I was still me and reacted to labor like a human.

weird.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
Hi Folks!

Can I join this tribe? I found the wanting but waiting tribe a couple months ago, but this one sounds like it may serve my needs better right now. I haven't read all the post so far--I just wanted to introduce myself.

I have been wanting to be a mama since I was 3 years old. Seriously--my ambition at that age was to be a lighthouse keeper (where did I get that?) with 11 children. I've been a nanny and a baby sitter and a postpartum doula, while longing for children of my own for years.

Now my DH and I are starting to seriously talk about a timeline for TTC and I'm getting scared of all the big changes having a baby will make in my life. It's like now that it's finally in my face I have to face the reality, whereas before it was just a "someday" dream. Anyone else close to starting to TTC have similar thoughts/feelings?

At the moment, we are looking at starting to TTC no earlier than mid April. It was going to be March, but I just had surgery (unplanned) under an anesthetic that is known to be a terretogen and I want to give it at least two months to be fully out of my system. (I had to have my wisdom teeth out--not fun.







)

We also need to get our new apartment fully unpacked. I do not want to me 8 mo preg, much less caring for an infant, in a home full of boxes!

Woohoo! Welcome to the thread, Mother Cake.








Haha, a lighthouse keeper, huh? That's wonderful! That is definitely the most creative life goal I've heard of. Are you anything close to that for your career now?







Definitely would not be fun trying to unpack an apartment being 8mo pregnant either, so good idea on that part.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
Hi Folks!

Can I join this tribe? I found the wanting but waiting tribe a couple months ago, but this one sounds like it may serve my needs better right now. I haven't read all the post so far--I just wanted to introduce myself.

I have been wanting to be a mama since I was 3 years old. Seriously--my ambition at that age was to be a lighthouse keeper (where did I get that?) with 11 children. I've been a nanny and a baby sitter and a postpartum doula, while longing for children of my own for years.

Now my DH and I are starting to seriously talk about a timeline for TTC and I'm getting scared of all the big changes having a baby will make in my life. It's like now that it's finally in my face I have to face the reality, whereas before it was just a "someday" dream. Anyone else close to starting to TTC have similar thoughts/feelings?

At the moment, we are looking at starting to TTC no earlier than mid April. It was going to be March, but I just had surgery (unplanned) under an anesthetic that is known to be a terretogen and I want to give it at least two months to be fully out of my system. (I had to have my wisdom teeth out--not fun.







)

We also need to get our new apartment fully unpacked. I do not want to me 8 mo preg, much less caring for an infant, in a home full of boxes!

Woohoo! Welcome to the thread, Mother Cake.








Haha, a lighthouse keeper, huh? That's wonderful! That is definitely the most creative life goal I've heard of. Are you anything close to that for your career now?







Definitely would not be fun trying to unpack an apartment being 8mo pregnant either, so good idea on that part.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sleepingbeauty* 
i had a dream that I gave birth to a litter of kittens last night.  Not baby-sized. I mean KITTENS, the same way I've seen dozens of real kittens born. But I was still me and reacted to labor like a human.

weird.

Kittens! You gave birth to them?! Crazy! Ha, how did you feel when you woke up?!


----------



## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Woohoo! Welcome to the thread, Mother Cake.








Haha, a lighthouse keeper, huh? That's wonderful! That is definitely the most creative life goal I've heard of. Are you anything close to that for your career now?







Definitely would not be fun trying to unpack an apartment being 8mo pregnant either, so good idea on that part.









Thanks for the welcome!

I'm not a lighthouse keeper, and don't really have that particular ambition any more. The more consistent "career goal" in my life has been the motherhood part--and I am *hopefully* very close to accomplishing that!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
Thanks for the welcome!

I'm not a lighthouse keeper, and don't really have that particular ambition any more. The more consistent "career goal" in my life has been the motherhood part--and I am *hopefully* very close to accomplishing that!

Awesome.







That's probably the more exciting career anyhow.


----------



## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Awesome.







That's probably the more exciting career anyhow.









Thanks! I think it is the right choice for me, but I also have a lot of respect for women who juggle motherhood and another career as well.


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
lol at the kitten dream. I feel like I've had a dream like that before. I've always been a really vivid dreamer, but add in the anti-depressants I've been on for several years, plus chemo and I never know what'll happen in my sleep. The dream i mentioned upthread was really only the second vivid/realistic parenting related dream I've had. The other involved being given a drug addicted baby and having to take care of it. Whatever drug it was born addicted to made it lay perfectly still with this really intense gaze that was sorta creepy. My fiance and I had to hunt down some wiseman/healer who lived in a giant garbage dump to find something to help the baby....it was really strange. That dream was years ago and I'm still somewhat haunted by the drug baby's gaze/eyes and the intense feeling I had about having to protect it and do whatever possibly to take care of and heal him/her.

I also used to want to be a lighthouse-keeper. I think it may have had something to do with the movie Pete's Dragon. It'd be a cool job, but I bet most lighthouses are digitially operated now.... I bet lighthouse keeper would be a good job to mix with SAHmotherhood!

OMG!!! That baby with the gaze sounds horribly creepy!!!!!! Gahh!! I would definitely be haunted by that. *shivers* There's totally gotta be some meaning behind that, but still. If I saw/ woke up to a baby doing that I would be scared. Haha.

And whoah! That's hilarious you wanted to be a lighthouse keeper too! I've never heard of anyone wanting to do that until this thread, ha.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

I dream I'm pregnant and giving birth all the time. Like...once a week. It's always minimally painful and at home. Lately, I don't even realize I'm pregnant until the end of the dream, when I'm huge and about to give birth. I hope that doesn't happen, I don't want to be one of those "I didn't know I was pregnant" people! Other dreams, I'm tiny and barely show. I hope that's true, I don't want stretch marks


----------



## sleepingbeauty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Kittens! You gave birth to them?! Crazy! Ha, how did you feel when you woke up?!









My back hurt like hell. Ususally, if I'm sleeping weird my back starts hurting and I have labor dreams. hahahaha Oh, and I wanted to snuggle with baby kittens (I LOVE when they are that small!) but we don't have any cats at ALL yet. I had a PILE (like...ten) for a long time.

One of the cats had a litter and towards the end of her pregnancy we put her on the porch (closed-in) so we knew where she was. She would sit there and meow at us through the screen door and I felt SO bad for her, out there by herself. I slept in a sleeping bag out there for about a week, stayed up with her when she had them and became her official babysitter every day after school. I mean it! I would go in after school to do my homework and keep her company. One day she met me at the door and dropped them at my feet and went to hide and take a nap. Guess she had enough that day for some reason! lol There's nothing as cute as babies--human OR kittens! lol

I have *no* idea why I had that dream though. I looked it up and kittens typically mean innocence and birth is new beginnings or good luck.

So... I'm not entirely sure what to interpret that as.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sleepingbeauty* 
My back hurt like hell. Ususally, if I'm sleeping weird my back starts hurting and I have labor dreams. hahahaha Oh, and I wanted to snuggle with baby kittens (I LOVE when they are that small!) but we don't have any cats at ALL yet. I had a PILE (like...ten) for a long time.

One of the cats had a litter and towards the end of her pregnancy we put her on the porch (closed-in) so we knew where she was. She would sit there and meow at us through the screen door and I felt SO bad for her, out there by herself. I slept in a sleeping bag out there for about a week, stayed up with her when she had them and became her official babysitter every day after school. I mean it! I would go in after school to do my homework and keep her company. One day she met me at the door and dropped them at my feet and went to hide and take a nap. Guess she had enough that day for some reason! lol There's nothing as cute as babies--human OR kittens! lol

I have *no* idea why I had that dream though. I looked it up and kittens typically mean innocence and birth is new beginnings or good luck.

So... I'm not entirely sure what to interpret that as. 

I'm usually not an animal person but I definitely LOVE little baby kitties! Haha, my aunt and uncle used to have like 8 kittens one time and it was so fun to play with them and cuddle!







Ha that's so cute you were the kitty-sitter for that cat though!! Was the porch heated at least?! Why was she out there anyhow?

And ha random... well are you going to have kids soon? And maybe it's just proving you're innocent by having dreams about cats. Haha.


----------



## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I also used to want to be a lighthouse-keeper. I think it may have had something to do with the movie Pete's Dragon. It'd be a cool job, but I bet most lighthouses are digitially operated now.... I bet lighthouse keeper would be a good job to mix with SAHmotherhood!

I agree about it being a good WAHmom job. I think for me it probably came from having just moved to the Midwest from an ocean state. I'm back near the coast now, so that may be enough to satisfy the desire.







I only wish I made more of a point of driving the 45 min to the beach on a regular basis.

As to the discussion about dreams, I rarely remember, or try to remember, my dreams, but sometime in the past few months I dreamed about having twins--giving birth and then having to care for them, I think. And my DH just told me he had a dream that he had a baby, recently, too. So I guess our subconsciouses must be sending us some sort of message.


----------



## sleepingbeauty

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
I'm usually not an animal person but I definitely LOVE little baby kitties! Haha, my aunt and uncle used to have like 8 kittens one time and it was so fun to play with them and cuddle!







Ha that's so cute you were the kitty-sitter for that cat though!! Was the porch heated at least?! Why was she out there anyhow?

And ha random... well are you going to have kids soon? And maybe it's just proving you're innocent by having dreams about cats. Haha.









We're waiting for Jan 2013 to start TTC so no, not yet. The porch was just another room in the house. IT used to be open to the outside but was closed in, windows, a door. It was heated, of course! She was out there so the other cats wouldn't bother her with the babies and so she didn't have them in a closet or something. She decided to have them in a box out there. She ater moved them to behind the tv.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sleepingbeauty* 
We're waiting for Jan 2013 to start TTC so no, not yet. The porch was just another room in the house. IT used to be open to the outside but was closed in, windows, a door. It was heated, of course! She was out there so the other cats wouldn't bother her with the babies and so she didn't have them in a closet or something. She decided to have them in a box out there. She ater moved them to behind the tv.

Oh ok, ok. I understand now. Haha. Well that must have been fun to take care of them though







And 2013 sounds like a good plan for TTC!


----------



## oiseau

So I'm thinking one solution for the main welcome page member list might be to just have one list and then after each name, I can add the anticipated TTC date or "currently TTC" or "not sure yet."
What does everyone think of this plan? I'm thinking that I'll have time over the weekend to sit down and re-edit that welcome page list.

The kittens sound super cute...one of my good friends adopted a pregnant cat a couple years ago and got to be a kitten mama.


----------



## monkeyscience

Hey everyone... not sure how many around here still remember me, as I've been absent for quite a long time now. I'm probably not going to start hanging around here too much, because I've gotten BUSY... my first year of teaching is rough, but wonderful.

Anyway, for anyone who did remember me... I just wanted to say that I'm no longer TTFAH... I've found him.







We'll be getting married May 29th.







I'm hopeful we'll start TTC late 2010/early 2011. We'll have to see. Right now, I'm just focused on making it through the school year and the wedding.

I hope everyone is well and happy, and I'm glad to see several old friends have graduated! Much love and happiness to you all!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeyscience* 
Hey everyone... not sure how many around here still remember me, as I've been absent for quite a long time now. I'm probably not going to start hanging around here too much, because I've gotten BUSY... my first year of teaching is rough, but wonderful.

Anyway, for anyone who did remember me... I just wanted to say that I'm no longer TTFAH... I've found him.







We'll be getting married May 29th.







I'm hopeful we'll start TTC late 2010/early 2011. We'll have to see. Right now, I'm just focused on making it through the school year and the wedding.

I hope everyone is well and happy, and I'm glad to see several old friends have graduated! Much love and happiness to you all!

Aww yay! Where'd you find him?! Congrats!







Where/ what are you teaching? Is it student teaching or actual (paid) teaching?


----------



## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
So I'm thinking one solution for the main welcome page member list might be to just have one list and then after each name, I can add the anticipated TTC date or "currently TTC" or "not sure yet."
What does everyone think of this plan? I'm thinking that I'll have time over the weekend to sit down and re-edit that welcome page list.

I think it's a good idea.


----------



## oiseau

So I just went ahead and updated the main post again. I think everything should be up to date for everyone who is regularly posting. Let me know if I need to make any changes. I ended up leaving TTC Now & Later all one category because otherwise I'll go nuts moving people from one list to the next as the months pass!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!!


----------



## Kyamo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeyscience* 
Hey everyone... not sure how many around here still remember me, as I've been absent for quite a long time now. I'm probably not going to start hanging around here too much, because I've gotten BUSY... my first year of teaching is rough, but wonderful.

I remember you.

Oiseau, could you add "currently" to me?


----------



## oiseau

Kyamo- already done! (I'm not normally that efficient, i just logged on right as you posted I think!).

Monkeyscience--I forgot to say, I remember you too! Welcome back!


----------



## monkeyscience

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Aww yay! Where'd you find him?! Congrats!







Where/ what are you teaching? Is it student teaching or actual (paid) teaching?

Found him at a church Halloween dance. He was a pirate, I was a Roman goddess. Things have gone crazy, crazy fast. If I weren't the one in the relationship, I would say we were absolutely nuts. He proposed 3 months after our first date. But all of our family and friends agree that we're just right for each other... that eases my mind a lot. Plus, all I really have to do is look in the mirror at the two of us together - the glow is undeniable. We are ridiculously, cheesily, radiantly happy. I know, most of you are probably puking now. I don't blame you.

I teach 7-10 grade science at a charter school in Houston. I'm technically in my intern year, since I'm doing alternative certification, but I get paid the same as a regular teacher. I just have to pay $475 a month in internship fees.







I do love it, though.

oiseau, Kyamo, I recognize both of you, too. Glad I'm not the only NMY left! And oiseau, I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis.







I hope the chemo works great, and you can feel better soon!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *monkeyscience* 
Found him at a church Halloween dance. He was a pirate, I was a Roman goddess. Things have gone crazy, crazy fast. If I weren't the one in the relationship, I would say we were absolutely nuts. He proposed 3 months after our first date. But all of our family and friends agree that we're just right for each other... that eases my mind a lot. Plus, all I really have to do is look in the mirror at the two of us together - the glow is undeniable. We are ridiculously, cheesily, radiantly happy. I know, most of you are probably puking now. I don't blame you.

I teach 7-10 grade science at a charter school in Houston. I'm technically in my intern year, since I'm doing alternative certification, but I get paid the same as a regular teacher. I just have to pay $475 a month in internship fees.







I do love it, though.

Ha that is such a cute story! Especially that your family knows you're right for each other. And I'm not a science fan, but the education departments are definitely lacking science teachers, so good for you for doing that!!! I'm a special education major, with a minor in Spanish.







Congrats on the pirate though. So cute


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
So I just went ahead and updated the main post again. I think everything should be up to date for everyone who is regularly posting. Let me know if I need to make any changes. I ended up leaving TTC Now & Later all one category because otherwise I'll go nuts moving people from one list to the next as the months pass!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

So... I know you already made some type change... But I'm new and now confused.














haha. What's with the new lists and dates and ahhh!!! I'm lost.


----------



## oiseau

I didn't change much. Basically, I changed the list that was called "TTC 2010 & Beyond" to "TTC Now & Later" since it's now 2010. The dates in parentheses are the dates when that member is planning on TTC. There's also a list of "Not Sure Yet."

When I joined the tribe a couple years ago, it was divided up by year so (if it were still like that), it'd be: TTC 2010, TTC 2011, TTC 2012 & Beyond & Not Sure Yet. Since there aren't a ton of us anymore, it's just easier to maintain as one list + Not Sure Yet, especially since people change their minds pretty often.

Oh, and I alphabetized the lists. Cuz I'm anal like that.


----------



## monkeyscience

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
So... I know you already made some type change... But I'm new and now confused.














haha. What's with the new lists and dates and ahhh!!! I'm lost. 

It's just the first post of this thread. You can look at it if you click on page one.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

My birthday is Aug 17, 1989, if you want to add me to the list









Sorry for the lack of action on here from my end over the last week or so! School is pretty crazy, I obviously am a masochist for signing up for English, Anthropology, Philosophy and Math all in one semester. The first three classes each have 50+ pages of reading a week and about 1-3 papers each a week, and we have about 60 math problems twice a week, plus a quiz every other week and test every third week. I feel like I sleep, eat, study and then have maybe two hours a day where I'm not multi-tasking. I'm absolutely SUCKING at laundry and keeping my room clean, it's a nightmare down here(I have a studio apartment type set up in our basement, it's NICE!). Usually I don't care, but our fridge broke so we had to move all of our perishables into my fridge, so every time someone needs something, they have to hike through my hell hole of a room. I don't have school tomorrow, which is technically today since it's after midnight here, so hopefully I can get all this under control.

I have some great news! When I moved last June, I started working part time for my mom. It was very sporadic and part time, but I made enough money to pay for what I needed to. Well, she quit in December and since the job was pretty much made up for me, I left too. Since then, it's been a nightmare. I've applied EVERYWHERE, and haven't even gotten a call or email from anybody. Add in the stress of school, having to mooch off my parents (not uncommon for a 20 year old full time college student, but still) makes me feel totally worthless. Plus, it gets obnoxious to have my mom bugging me every day about being more aggressive in my pursuits. Ask Lisha(gfreelishy), I am usually the least stressed person ever, but this job thing is going to put me over the edge!

Anyhow, onto the good part.







My mom calls me Wednesday at school(I have a 1.5 hour break between classes) and leaves me a message telling me to call her. I call her, and she tells me that she might have a job, and it came about in the most divinely inspired, fate-tastic way ever! There is a very profitable local business, and the owners are a married couple in their 30's who live in our neighborhood. My mom has talked to both the husband and wife while in the business place. Well, yesterday the wife calls my mom. She tells my mom that her husband told her that my mom had a teenage daughter. This woman recently lost her nanny (they have a 6 year old boy), and have been having another local teenage girl babysit. They're not impressed with her.

The husband has talked to my mom more, and thinks she's great, and knows that my younger sister is pretty mature. They wanted to know if my sister was interested. Well, my mom told them that I still live at home, I'm going to school to be a teacher, etc. They're thrilled, because ideally they wanted to hire on a nanny, not a babysitter, especially one who can drive their son places and who is older/more mature. I called the wife last night, and she's so friendly and sounded really excited about the prospect of me nannying for them. They need someone Tuesdays/Thursdays after school up until 9 or so, and she told me she really hoped that today(Thursday) was the last day this girl watched their son, which I hope means that this is going to work out! I meet with them Saturday afternoon.

I just can't believe how it all worked out! The pay is great, I'd have to work probably an additional 10 hours a week at minimum wage to make the same amount. I'd be able to go to 25-30 hours a week in the summer. The two days she needs a nanny right now just so happen to be the two nights I don't have school. Not to mention, they specifically hunted us down. Things like that don't happen everyday! Ok, this is long enough my fellow NMY! Hopefully I will soon be a nanny...it'll definitely be good practice for the future!


----------



## KaylaBeanie

I got the job! I went over to talk to the parents and meet G, the boy, and I love them! He's such a doll, I can't WAIT to start next week


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## Mother Cake

I can sort of relate, oiseau. I also thought I was retired from babysitting/childcare--my last nanny job ended really badly. But this past week a good friend asked me to look after her kids as a back-up type caregiver. I'm surprised to find myself considering it. I think the biggest motivation is our tight finances. It would be nice to have a little extra money and feel like I am contributing to the household financially. I'm surprised at how awkward I feel about being SAH without any kids.

The other thing about this particular offer is that there are two kids--if it was just the baby I would be all over it, but the toddler is a handful. Plus it would be at a low-energy time of day for my biorhythms. And I have a lot I ought to be doing at home. (& hanging out on MDC is not one of those things!)

Off to work on my "real" to-do list!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I didn't change much. Basically, I changed the list that was called "TTC 2010 & Beyond" to "TTC Now & Later" since it's now 2010. The dates in parentheses are the dates when that member is planning on TTC. There's also a list of "Not Sure Yet."

When I joined the tribe a couple years ago, it was divided up by year so (if it were still like that), it'd be: TTC 2010, TTC 2011, TTC 2012 & Beyond & Not Sure Yet. Since there aren't a ton of us anymore, it's just easier to maintain as one list + Not Sure Yet, especially since people change their minds pretty often.

Oh, and I alphabetized the lists. Cuz I'm anal like that.


Ohhh! Ok. Haha. I was just confused. All good now though.







Thanks for the clarification!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 







I got the job! I went over to talk to the parents and meet G, the boy, and I love them! He's such a doll, I can't WAIT to start next week









So glad you got the job!


----------



## aquarius aspiring

Hi. Nice to meet you all.

I'm 28 and been married since May 2009. My husband and I do want kids, but we're waiting for a variety of reasons.

I'm working two part-time jobs right now and going through grad school online to get my MLS. DH's job might be in danger due to budget cuts, but we're not sure yet. I want to wait to TTC until I at least get my MLS (2011, I think) and get a full-time job, but who knows in this economy.

I'm also getting really interested and passionate about doula and midwifery work. I'm pretty sure I want to make helping mamas and babies part of my career path, but I'm not sure how to do it.

I also need/want to lose weight before we start TTC. I'm considered obese at 5'3" and 215 pounds. I'm really afraid that I'll have health problems come up if I I get pregnant at this point.

Our apartment may not be big enough for a kidlet. DH has a ton of video games and systems and geek equipment. Seriously, if you can name a video game system, he'll probably has it.







We have two bedrooms, one we use as a bedroom and the other as an "office". I'm not big on nurseries, but I know a child needs room to move around. I'm all for side-carring a crib and having the babe in the bedroom, but if we get a king-sized bed, that's out of the question. Our bedroom isn't that big. DH would need to find room in the apartment for his gaming stuff and his two huge bookshelves if we wanted to use the second bedroom as a bedroom.

*sigh* We would really need a 3-bedroom apartment or a house, but we can't afford it right now. We're also planning to move and settle in another area if we can both find jobs (Austin, TX and North Carolina being top choices).

It doesn't help that every chick I know is pregnant or just had a baby or has a little one. Okay, not everyone.







But, seriously, two women at one job are pregnant, one woman at my other job is pregnant, and not to mention people I know from high school or college. I hate to admit that I'm even a little jealous.

Sorry about the long story.


----------



## gfreelishy

Welcome, aquarius aspiring!!!









Don't feel too pressured/ rushed if you don't want tots right now. Sounds like you and DH have good plans coming up/ being worked on, and there's no harm in waiting til you're both all settled and ready!


----------



## nemrac917

I guess this is a good group to join.









Currently childless at age 30, married just over 6 years to 37yo hubby. Waiting a few more years as I'm currently in school full-time for a career change and work part-time on the side. I want to be done with school, have a job, have health insurance, and be out of the probationary period for new-hires before we start trying. That likely puts us around mid-2012.

I'm using that time to do research, make changes to our diet, and lose weight. At my heaviest, I was 307 (at 5'7"). I'm currently sitting around 240-242. I'd like to lose another 60lbs or so before we start trying. Since I'm going to be close to that 35yo mark, I want to do what I can to stay out of the hospital for the birth.

While I'd like to also wait until we bought another house, I'm not sure that is something realistic for us in the next few years.

Until then, I'm a mamma to the furbabies. 2 Dobermans, 4 cats (2 sets of brothers), 1 horse, and 1 hermit crab (the only one to survive the move from IA to NY).

If you want to add my birthday, it's 9/17/79.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nemrac917* 
I guess this is a good group to join.









Currently childless at age 30, married just over 6 years to 37yo hubby. Waiting a few more years as I'm currently in school full-time for a career change and work part-time on the side. I want to be done with school, have a job, have health insurance, and be out of the probationary period for new-hires before we start trying. That likely puts us around mid-2012.

I'm using that time to do research, make changes to our diet, and lose weight. At my heaviest, I was 307 (at 5'7"). I'm currently sitting around 240-242. I'd like to lose another 60lbs or so before we start trying. Since I'm going to be close to that 35yo mark, I want to do what I can to stay out of the hospital for the birth.

While I'd like to also wait until we bought another house, I'm not sure that is something realistic for us in the next few years.

Until then, I'm a mamma to the furbabies. 2 Dobermans, 4 cats (2 sets of brothers), 1 horse, and 1 hermit crab (the only one to survive the move from IA to NY).

If you want to add my birthday, it's 9/17/79.











Sounds like you've got a good plan going there!









Welcome to MDC and the NMY tribe!


----------



## Mother Cake

We got the living room set up--finally! There are still a lot of boxes in the house, and some are in the main living area, but most are more "hidden" and we can now have company over! I am so excited. It was one of the biggest things on my "do before TTC" list.

Two of the other biggies, doc and dent appts, are underway. In both cases we each needed to be seen multiple times because these are "initial" visits. Ugh. Oh well. At least insurance will cover most of the costs.

On to taxes and finishing those final boxes.

Welcome nemrac917 & aquarius aspiring. Glad to have you both here.


----------



## oiseau

Welcome to the new people!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Welcome to the new people! I'll update the welcome post within the next few days once I sleep off my last chemo treatment. I only have one more left then I'm DONE DONE DONE!! I'm pretty excited about it since it also means I can start my official countdown to being able to TTC (2-5 years from Friday the 26th!).

YAY YAY YAY! One more treatment! Countdown! Happy days!


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Welcome to the new people! I'll update the welcome post within the next few days once I sleep off my last chemo treatment. I only have one more left then I'm DONE DONE DONE!! I'm pretty excited about it since it also means I can start my official countdown to being able to TTC (2-5 years from Friday the 26th!).





































I'm sad that you'll be here with us way young, single girls for a few years yet, but I'm so glad you can wrap this up, and spend your next years getting healthier before becoming a mama









We've been quiet lately, so here are a few questions to get us going!

-What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?

-Any more name ideas?

-Where do you want to live/where do you live?

-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?

I'll answer later...I'm nowhere near done studying for this test...it's 1:40 am, and I have to be up at 7:45 for school, then work 4-8. I'll be so dead, but this is a terrible habit I get in to...I get 4-5 hours of sleep, then the next night I'll get 12.


----------



## nemrac917

I'll answer before I head out to work...

*Type of birth?* Home water, facility water (birthing center or water-friendly hospital)

*Names?* Girl's name: #1 Marianna Hali'a (Marianna after my grandmother, Mary Ann. Hali'a is Hawaiian for "in honor of" or "in memory of".)

Don't have a 2nd girl's name picked out yet, with DG initials.

Boy's name: #1 Damien Gabriel (this one's up for debate with hubby). I also like Darius Gregori.

#2 Malakai (no 'A' middle name yet, also up for debate with hubby)

We may add another middle name to the DG names to include my grandfather, whose initials were DW. Either DWG or DGW.

*Living?* We hope to be living in NW Illinois at that time.

*How many?* For us, it's going to be 1 or 2.


----------



## musiclovinglife

Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum! I'm 28 and DH is almost 41. I'm Canadian and he's American, and we've been living together in the States for 4 years. He just got his Canadian visa so we're planning an imminent move to Canada, two hours from my hometown, when he gets employment!

We've been waiting to try because we live in a high cost of living area and can only afford a very tiny 2-room apartment. We could never be able to afford any real estate here, hence why we're moving to be closer to my family as well.

-What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?

I'm hoping for a home waterbirth if I can get a midwife in Canada (they can't answer to all the demand they get) and if we can get a mortgage. If not, I'd love to have a waterbirth at the birth center or if I can't for any reason, a natural birth at a hospital.

-Any more name ideas?

Yes, but I'm keeping them until our babies are born!









-Where do you want to live/where do you live?

East Coast, USA, and want to move to Canada.

-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?

We want at least 2 kids. DH wants only 2 and I'm dreaming of 4, however I've been struggling with chronic pain issues for the past 5 years, so I might not be able to handle more than 2. We plan to adopt if we can't get PG.


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## Mother Cake

I'll play.

-What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?

Home birth. Maybe water, depends on what I want in the moment.

-Any more name ideas?

Like the pp said, I'm keeping them until the baby is here.

-Where do you want to live/where do you live?

We live in a big metro area. I wish we could live in a small town in the country, but DH's work will probably keep us in or near major cities, and to me, one metro area is much like another--they always have too many people and too much traffic. So I'll settle for a mild climate.









-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?
I want at least 3. DH has agreed to 3, but not sure about more than that. We'd adopt if we can't get pg.


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## gfreelishy

musiclovinglife









And woohoo for tribe games! Haha.









*What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?
-- At home! In the water! That's how I wanna do it for sure! I love baths. And home. So heck, why not help my baby come into that kind of soothing environment right?!









*Any more name ideas?
-- Ughh. Names are such a complicated thing. Haha. I'm horrible at that. I love anything original and unique.









*Where do you want to live/where do you live?
-- I want to live in MN like I always have! Hopefully in the St. Paul area too (again, like I always have!). The weather's always changing, there's a diverse population, many organic/ eco-friendly places, my family's all near there, and there's a UU church there too. What's not to love, right?









*How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?
-- I want one kid for now. One of my sisters wants to have lots of kids, so my one kid can be friends with her kids! I've always been super close with my cousins, so I would love it if my kids are close with theirs too.







If I have the money, I would love to adopt a child from South America. Also, I totally want to teach my tots not only English, but Spanish, and some sign language too! The younger you start teaching 'em, the easier it will be to learn in the future I think!


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## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 

*What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?
-- At home! In the water! That's how I wanna do it for sure! I love baths. And home. So heck, why not help my baby come into that kind of soothing environment right?!










Woohoo Lish, can't wait to be there like ten years down the road







(For you new ladies, we're real life BFFs).

Okay, I'll play now









*What kind of birth are you hoping for?*
At home, absolutely. The only way I'd even consider a hospital birth is if I had legitimate concerns that actually required a c-section(aka placenta previa, yes, breech, absolutely not). Ideally, it'll be in the water. I'll definitely have the tub available, but obviously I can't say for sure if that's where I'll have the baby.

*Any more name ideas?*
Lord knows what I'll actually end up using, haha. I used that baby name thing posted earlier(Nymbler?) and found some cool names. I like Dexter, Eisley, Harper, Jude, Juliet, Juniper, Nola(long story, but it's also my car's name), and Luca are all names I like. I am not looking forward to the naming aspect of having a baby, I'm so indecisive!

*Where do you want to live/where do you live?*
I moved to the Kansas City area about 10 months ago, and I hate it. I'm transferring to the University of Alabama in just over a year, and then moving as soon as I graduate! I'm a huge city person. I have always thought I'd live out west, but since I'll be a high school social sciences teacher, and they're a dime a dozen, I'll go to whichever city I can get a job in that is not the south. As much as I hate the cold, I would LOVE to live in Uptown in Minneapolis. I hate the country, and I despise suburbs. It's all city for me









*How many kiddos do you want/do you plan to adopt?*
One for me! I really want an only. If I ever decided I wanted a second(unlikely), I would wait about 8-9 years. If I then decided I wanted a third, I would adopt.

Let's add a few more non-baby ones!

*Do you have any hobbies?*
I love to read, shop, listen to music and cook. I read at least 300 books a year, usually upwards of 400, in addition to several magazines I read each month like Glamour, Cosmo, Veg News, tattoo magazines, etc. I'm a huge shopper and I spend way too much money on clothes. I die of happiness every time I step into a Macy's. That's definitely something non-crunchy about me! I'm a huge music fan, usually more indie stuff, though I do love the upbeat radio songs at times too. My love of cooking is a pretty recent thing. I became vegetarian five months ago, and I've tried a tons of great recipes since then.

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
I'm a very new nanny! I watch a 6 year old boy 2 days a week, except spring break and summer, when I'll be watching him 4-5 days a week. It's my third week, and I really enjoy it. It tires me though! He definitely reinforces my desire to only have one kid. I'm going to school to become a teacher, and I'm completing my doula training as soon as I have the time and money. The plan is to doula in the summers while teaching the other 9 months of the year. Ultimately, I would love to become a CPM, but that may or may not ever happen.

*Any non-crunchy confessions?* (note, keep it light and within MDC guidelines, we don't want these removed







)
I adore kraft mac and cheese. I've tried that organic stuff, and it grosses me out. Same with doritos...the cool ranch ones? I'm a goner. I can eat a whole bag in one sitting. Like I said earlier, I'm a huge shopper, and I never buy clothing second hand, and to be honest, I probably never will. I love guilty pleasure tv shows, and not-so-secretly wish that Gossip Girl was real and I was a member of that society, because I think the clothes are absolutely to die for. And the shoes! I'm a terrible vegetarian because I got Uggs for Christmas. I wasn't thinking about the fact they were sheepskin when I got them, and now I figure it'd be worse to just waste them and buy another pair of non-skin boots. I drink so much Diet Coke, I'm surprised I don't have ulcers from all the acid. I get my hair professionally done, I don't do the at-home eco-friendly hair dyes. I watch a crap-load of TV, because I like background noise other than music when I do my homework (which is never ending). In my defense, I keep it on the news usually









...wow. I'm slightly ashamed by the length of my uncrunchiness! Ha, I'm sure I'm not alone.


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## nemrac917

*Do you have any hobbies?*
Reading, movies, and trail riding on my wonderful horse, Meteor. Cooking, music, concerts, and probably a few things I'm forgetting.









*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
Right now, I'm a medical assistant for a local doctor part-time and a full-time nursing student. Combining those two with a 45-min commute, I have NO free time during the school year.

Dream job won't happen for quite some time, but eventually I'd like to become a practicing midwife. I think that'll wait until after the kid(s) is old enough to survive without having mommy around all the time (like college).

*Any non-crunchy confessions?*

I adore kraft mac and cheese. (DITTO!!!)


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 

*Any more name ideas?*
Lord knows what I'll actually end up using, haha. I used that baby name thing posted earlier(Nymbler?) and found some cool names. I like Dexter, Eisley, Harper, Jude, Juliet, Juniper, Nola(long story, but it's also my car's name), and Luca are all names I like. I am not looking forward to the naming aspect of having a baby, I'm so indecisive!

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
I'm a very new nanny! I watch a 6 year old boy 2 days a week, except spring break and summer, when I'll be watching him 4-5 days a week. It's my third week, and I really enjoy it. It tires me though! He definitely reinforces my desire to only have one kid. I'm going to school to become a teacher, and I'm completing my doula training as soon as I have the time and money. The plan is to doula in the summers while teaching the other 9 months of the year. Ultimately, I would love to become a CPM, but that may or may not ever happen.

At least you _have_ name ideas! I don't even have that much! Haha. Also, YAY for future teachers!!!! And omg that would be amazing if you could live in MN/ Uptown, please and thanks!







Then I can live by you and our kids can actually be friends!









Okay, now on to the new questions!

*Do you have any hobbies?*
:: Here in Spain ::
1.







Listening to music-- constantly! Unless I'm in class or eating a meal, I'm always listening to music.
2.







Facebooking/ Social networking in general-- I admit it, I'm addicted! But I think it's okay because I'm 4,000 miles away from my fam and friends and that's basically my only way to stay in contact with them all!
3.







Reading-- this is very new to me! I never used to read until I came to Spain and now have nothing but time on my hands. I like it.








4.







Walking everywhere
5.







Going out with my roomies!
6.







Learning about other religions/ cultures
7.







Trying to better educate myself on health related things

:: Back in the states ::
1.







Music
2.







Movies
3. TV (I'm a total Disney channel addict! and The Office!)
4. Working
5. Studying with my friends
6.







Partying

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
~ In Spain I have no job. But when I get back to the state I'll likely be working in food service full time. I've been doing food service stuff for 5+ years and I actually don't mind it at all!

~ My dream job? Hm... To be a high school special ed. teacher, preferably in a diverse setting (maybe where I could use my Spanish skills?!). Then I eventually want to go on to get my Master's degree in counseling! I have always wanted to be a counselor and a teacher. But the teacher one took priority. But I would LOVE to be a counselor someday...









*Any non-crunchy confessions?*
~ I'm not a vegetarian. I use my computer a lot. I wear a wire bra most of the time. Ummm.. that's all I can think of for that.


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## oiseau

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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I like this game!! Here are my answers:

1. Birth: I'm planning a homebirth. Not sure yet about water or not. I can see the appeal of laboring in the water, but for some reason, the idea of actually birthing in the water kinda weirds me out. I would only birth in a hospital if it was truly necessary due to health issues, especially since I now have negative hospital associations. I can't imagine me or my brand new baby being touched by hospital gloves or being poked or prodded.
Ideally, I want to give birth at home in my space with my things and my home smell with my partner and an awesome team of midwives/doulas and possibly my mom and/or my best friend. Low key, quiet and peaceful for everyone.

2. Names: girls: Wren, Miriam Luna (Miri for short); Boy: Griffin, and uh, boy names are hard!

3. I'd like to move back to Mass., close enough to Boston that we can easily get there for restaurants/shopping/etc., but far enough away that we have enough land for a little farm. We'd live to live in Ipswich, MA, but I doubt we'll ever be rich enough for that. Otherwise, upstate NY near Ithaca. I also like where I live now (DC region) because I have close friends here and there are enough crunchy resources, but it's a bit too urban for us.
Alternatively, New Zealand.

4. Two kids (as a good friend told me, only have as many kids as you have sets of arms/parents). I plan to have them close in age (less than 2 yrs apart).

5. Hobbies: anything related to food (cooking, gardening, farming, eating, walking around fancy grocery stores), hanging out with animals (except my rouge iguana who is currently tearing the house apart and driving us nuts), reading, spending time with kid friends

6. Job: I'm a research biologist and I do a mix of molecular biology, physiology and actual animal husbandry all involving birds. It's about as close to my dream job as I could possibly have right now. I have plans to go to vet school at some point and I'd like to be a food animal vet for small organic farms. I'm hoping to go to New Zealand for vet school.

7. Non-crunchy confessions: hmm, I HATE whole grain pasta/rice. I also hate lettuce of all kinds. Besides that, I stick to no-preservatives, no-processed foods. Other than that, nothing is jumping out at me. Oh, sometimes I microwave plastic









Haha! I love your answers! I _adore_ your baby name choices! I would be so scared to let an iguana run around my house?! Is that what yours does? Lol, that's hilarious!!







Also, why New Zealand??


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## oiseau

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## gfreelishy

My goodness!!! Sounds like quite the party house you have over there!









But yes, hopefully you can get a cage soon for Mr/Mrs iguana! Phew sounds hectic.  Ha.

And woohoo! That would be fun!! I'm studying abroad in Spain now and I'm loving it-- so I definitely agree with you on that it's nice to live in a new country for a bit! I'm excited to go home and such, but it is definitely an experience of a lifetime!!!


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## Mother Cake

*Do you have any hobbies?*
Reading & listening to audio books, belly dancing, cooking, gardening.

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
I have my dream job--I'm a homemaker. The only thing that could make it better is to have several kiddos of my own.

*Any non-crunchy confessions?*
I love long, hot showers and deep hot baths (and the area we live in is water poor).

Oiseau, DH and I went to NZ on our honeymoon--super cool country, but be prepared for the bio-hazard screening on your way in. I would love to live there for a while, although one of the people we met there said a lot of Americans experience a kind of culture shock when they try to live there for any length of time. I couldn't get her to pin down super clearly what the differences were, but she basically said that NZ culture is more like Brittish culture, and Aussie culture is more like American culture. Just something to keep in mind; I'm not trying to dissuade you from going or anything.


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## nemrac917

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Otherwise, upstate NY near Ithaca. I also like where I live now (DC region) because I have close friends here and there are enough crunchy resources, but it's a bit too urban for us.
Alternatively, New Zealand.


I had to LOL at this. I'm currently living near Ithaca (about 15-20min north) and would absolutely LOVE to head to NZ. My grandmother was born/raised there and I apparently still have oodles of family living down there, mostly on the north island, though a few sheep farmers on the south island, too.


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## oiseau

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## lakeruby

Fun! Thanks for getting us going again. Here are my answers:

-*What kind of birth are you hoping for?* I'd love to have my baby at home! I would like to have the option of a water birth, but I'd want to just go with what felt the most comfortable for me at the time. I plan to do everything possible to keep out of the hospital. For now, that means sticking to my new exercise plan (DO.SOMETHING.EVERY.DAY!!!) and drinking my oatstraw and nettle infusions, taking my CLO, getting lots of sleep, and eating well.

-*name ideas?* Oh I just love thinking of names! I have a whole list -- mostly girl names though-- at home. Off the top of my head now, I love: Frances (Franny), Lumin, Opal, Lila, Violet, Viola, Cedarose, Eliza, Lula, Rose, Ruby, and Lily. For boys....Leland. I have such a hard time with boy names!

-*Where do you want to live/where do you live?* We live in Tallahassee FL. I'm 4th generation born here and he has lived here all his life. It's not the greatest climate for me, personally, and there are some amazing places out there to visit, but I just can't see moving away from my family. We're really close. If I went anywhere, it would probably be to Gainesville-- which is 1.5 hours south. I really like it there.

*-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?* I would love to adopt, but I don't see that in my future unless I can't get pregnant. We have very limited funds at this point. If we had lots of money, I would allow myself to get more excited about it! As for number of kids-- I'll be very happy with just one, but I loved having a brother growing up, so I'm not sure yet if I'll have 1 or 2.


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## musiclovinglife

Thank you for the warm welcome everyone!

Mother lake: I'm a homemaker as well!!









*Do you have any hobbies?*
Music, watching movies, reading, cooking and baking

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
Homemaker, former opera singer and music teacher, and had to quit due to my chronic pain. My dream job is SAHM, with maybe WAHM PT as a private music teacher.

*Any non-crunchy confessions?*
I still use Lysol wipes although I also use vinegar, baking soda, soap and water with towels!!


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *musiclovinglife* 
*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
Homemaker, former opera singer and music teacher, and had to quit due to my chronic pain. My dream job is SAHM, with maybe WAHM PT as a private music teacher.

What chronic pain do you have???


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## musiclovinglife

Right hip (chronic bursitis, labral tear and cyst) and left knee pain (diagnosed with OA on the left knee) at the moment...Had a surgery on the right knee 5 years ago and later, a strained left knee...To make a long story short, my legs have knocked knees and have been causing me orthodic problems. It's probably congenital, but I only started to suffer 5 years ago after leading an active life. I've walked off and on with a cane, but after tons of physio I'm now doing better and am cane free! I still can't really walk or stand up for too long though.

PG worries me a bit, but by finally moving closer to my wonderful Canadian osteopath, who does PG women and babies as well, hopefully will help me a ton. I am hoping for a natural childbirth!


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *musiclovinglife* 
Right hip (chronic bursitis, labral tear and cyst) and left knee pain (diagnosed with OA on the left knee) at the moment...Had a surgery on the right knee 5 years ago and later, a strained left knee...To make a long story short, my legs have knocked knees and have been causing me orthodic problems. It's probably congenital, but I only started to suffer 5 years ago after leading an active life. I've walked off and on with a cane, but after tons of physio I'm now doing better and am cane free! I still can't really walk or stand up for too long though.

PG worries me a bit, but by finally moving closer to my wonderful Canadian osteopath, who does PG women and babies as well, hopefully will help me a ton. I am hoping for a natural childbirth!

Oof!! Sounds like barrels of fun you got there. 

Glad things are finally improving though! No canes! Woot!


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## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *musiclovinglife* 
Thank you for the warm welcome everyone!

Mother lake: I'm a homemaker as well!!









*Do you have any hobbies?*
Music, watching movies, reading, cooking and baking

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
Homemaker, former opera singer and music teacher, and had to quit due to my chronic pain. My dream job is SAHM, with maybe WAHM PT as a private music teacher.

*Any non-crunchy confessions?*
I still use Lysol wipes although I also use vinegar, baking soda, soap and water with towels!!

Yay for Homemakers







and sorry to hear about your chronic pain situation.


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## oiseau

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## nemrac917

1. We have 8 pets.
1 Arabian horse - Meteor
2 Dobermans - Deoji and Kinya
4 cats (2 sets of brothers) - Taki, Popo, Shaker, and Splotch
1 hermit crab (only one to survive the move to NY) - no name

2. So far we only have the CDs I just got to take advantage of the free BG.









3. CHEESE!!! I just love cheese.

4. Someone on one of my horse forums referred me here.

5. I have lived in 8 states and moved 30+ times in 30 years.


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## KaylaBeanie

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?
-Yep! Two dogs and two cats. I have a Jack Russell Terrier who is 6 named Jay, and a 2 year old Yorkie named Lilo. We also have two yard cats who we rescued when they were a month old named BK and Middie, who are almost 7. They're all my absolute babies, I'll be sad when I leave home









2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever? )
-Actually no, I don't! I imagine though that once I'm married and I know that kids are in the near future, I'll start picking up things like cloth diapers or a sling, if I find a good deal. I do have a few things planned though, for gifts and such. I'm going to get my daughter itty bitty diamond stud earrings (real diamonds) for her 2nd birthday. This started with my sister, who got a gorgeous gold bracelet as a baby. It might be gaudy to have a toddler with diamonds, but nobody has to know they're real...plus, little ones are $200 or less. My parents also typically give one big present to each grandbaby (niece one got a huge travel set, niece two got a really nice double jogging stroller) and I plan to ask for a Sunshine Radian carseat. Also, when I do someday find out I'm pregnant, I'm going to tell my mom (who I'm best friends with) by wrapping up the stick and a sling for her









3. Favorite food?
-cheese pizza from Dominos with tons of garlic sauce. ZOMG. They got that new crust, and it's to die for. I'm ashamed to admit that here, haha, but I could eat it every freaking day. I limit myself to 2-3 times a month.

4. What brought you to MDC?
-I actually don't remember! I think it was an article I read on Mothering, and I decided to check out the forums.

5. Random fact about yourself
-I'm a huge sucker for anything technological. I tell my mom that I plan to plant my birthing tub right in front of my big screen tv, with about 20 hours of reality tv tivo-ed. I'm especially in love with Apple...when this laptop dies, I'm investing in a MacBook Pro. I am fascinated with the iPad, and might ask for one for my birthday if the price goes down by August. I've been a total iPod loyalist since the very beginning, and firmly believe you get what you pay for. I am in LOVE with iPhones, and as soon as I'm out of school and my T-Mobile contract runs out, I'm getting one







. I actually have gone to two Apple stores and pestered the poor employees about why T-Mobile doesn't have the iPhone yet.


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## lakeruby

1*.Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?*
I do! We have one dog, Jackie, and one cat, Hadji. We also have 2 chickens-- Honey & Petunia.

*2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?* Of course! I have a drawer or two stuffed with little things I've been collecting, and the Snugli my parents used with me. I have some baby clothes that my sister in law saved for me, a whole bag of cloth diapers, and ALL of my baby clothes!

*3. Favorite food?* Hmmmm...I love food! I love vegetables, and I love baking, I love almost all breakfast foods, and japanese food is another favorite.

*4. What brought you to MDC?* I subscribed to the magazine after reading a copy at a friend's house.

*5. Random fact about yourself* When I was growing up my parents owned a small home-based herbal soap company, and I spent my saturdays selling it at the farmer's market!

Oiseau-- my dog, Jackie, is a boy!


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## knittinanny

Oiseau - you DO NOT have cockroaches! That's hardcore. lol









1. I have a cat named Alice Paul, after my favorite suffragette. Like the original Alice Paul, my cat has lived in both the USA and the UK and is very, um, vocal.

2. I have a whole hope chest in my basement of stuff I've bought and made over the last 10 years. I'm taking a break from adding to it for a little while, but will start up again when I feel ready.

3. Dairy products. Cheese, yogurt, etc. And, even though I didn't eat them when I lived there, American products I can't get in the UK (Annie's mac n cheese, peanut butter cereal, graham crackers, etc).

4. I found out about Mothering when I was a nanny (hence the SN I chose then, and still have), and came onto MDC to get some advice about one of my nanny kids. And I stayed!









5. I was nearly a professional ballet dancer when I was younger, but now I'm just about to start a PhD program studying new religions in America.


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## gfreelishy

1.*Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?*
Nope. We used to have two baby turtles and billion fish. But a car crashed into our house one winter and it go too cold in the basement (where their tank was) so they died.









2. *Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids?(oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy?* Actually no I don't.... I hadn't/ haven't really thought about kids _quite_ yet at this point in my life, since I'm still in college and such.









3. *Favorite food?* MEXICAN FOOD!!!!!! And cereal. I am so addicted. Yes, I love being in Spain like I am now, but I am so deprived of Mexican food it's not even funny. They have one or two "Mexican" restaurants here but it's not the authentic delicious kind like I can get in my home town.

4. *What brought you to MDC?* My BFF (IRL) Kayla told me about it!

5. *Random fact about yourself* I hate white socks. I also own entirely too many pairs of socks. I could fill 2+ dresser drawers with all of them.


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## terrordactyl

*so i haven't been around in awhile, been working alot, and dealing with moving and the new amazing guy i met but i figured i'd stop in an answer some questions an hope i have more time to stop in, not havin internet is one of my problems







*

What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?

I would love a homebirth probably not water since i'm not much a fan so i dont really see myself loving that but you never know

-Any more name ideas?
Names hmmmm i love names, i really like Claire for a girl an Jameson (jaime) for a boy

-Where do you want to live/where do you live?
right now i live in northern NM but idk where i want to live anywhere i am happy but i do want to settle down when i have kids, we moved around alot when i was younger an i hated it

-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?
I would love at least 3 maybe more i love kids, adopting would be awesome









*Do you have any hobbies?*
i have alot of hobbies, reading, watching tv. art i love all kinds of art. i love getting tattoos, hiking, camping, taking my camera out, sledding..

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
right now i'm a waitress at a super crappy restaurant (applebees) but it is where i met my new guy so i guess its not that bad an it pays the bills. my dream job would be something in midwifery or tattooing or to be a stay at home mom

*Any non-crunchy confessions?*
i love T.V and fast cars.

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?
i dont but i would love a puppy

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?
i do its a B-is for Bob with bob marley picture on it thats a shirt that i found somewhere an haven't been able to give away cause i can see it on my future baby

3. Favorite food?
Hot Wings, soup and Mataar Paneer (Peas and Paneer Indian Dish) and anything asian like Thai food yum!

4. What brought you to MDC?
the magazine which i'm obsessed with and my midwifery/doula stuff

5. Random fact about yourself
I've never been in love
I seem like a total girly girl when u meet me but i have hidden tattoos an quirks u would never think of when u met me


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaina* 

-Where do you want to live/where do you live?
right now i live in northern NM but idk where i want to live anywhere i am happy but i do want to settle down when i have kids, we moved around alot when i was younger an i hated it

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?
i do its a B-is for Bob with bob marley picture on it thats a shirt that i found somewhere an haven't been able to give away cause i can see it on my future baby

^^ 1. I didn't think there was snow in NM? But it says you love snow in your signature?! Haha, that's wonderful!! I'm from MN and I love snow too. People think I'm nuts for it though!









2. OMG!!!! Bob Marley shirt?! That is amazing. Seriously. Where did you find it anyhow???


----------



## musiclovinglife

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?

A cat named Liam

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?

No, not yet!

3. Favorite food?

Dark chocolate!!

4. What brought you to MDC?

I've been lurking for quite some time because I love AP! I'm not sure how I found it, perhaps through googling parenting message boards.

5. Random fact about yourself

I'm addicted to message boards!


----------



## Zephyrine

Hi, I'm wondering if I can be added again to the list? I'm mostly a lurker, but I am 21, single and so unsure as to when I will start having babies.
More I'm here to read and learn.


----------



## Neuromancer

*What kind of birth are you hoping for?*
At home, possibly water birth (I think my apt. may be too small for a tub), with midwife (and possibly doula).

*Any more name ideas?*
Too many to list!

*Where do you want to live/where do you live?*
I live in New York City, just outside of Manhattan. I love it here, but I wish I had outdoor space and a second bedroom. Also, I don't relish having upstairs/downstairs neighbors for the rest of my life. I'm from the Midwest, so I'll always dream of more space and a house of my own.

*How many kiddos do you want/do you plan to adopt?*
I think I just want one. If I changed my mind, I could imagine spacing them 3-4 years apart, but not much more (since I'm already in my mid-thirties). I'd be open to adoption if I can't conceive (or wanted another child).

*Do you have any hobbies?*
I read, blog (about food, mostly), knit, bake, watch a lot of films, take photos, and spend way too much time on the internet.

*What do you do as a job? What's your dream job?*
I work in a recording studio for audio books, but I'm considering getting into sound design OR becoming a librarian (children's/youth/school/etc) OR going back to school in gender studies. Too many choices!!

*Any non-crunchy confessions?*
My "crunchy confessions" would take up less space. But I'm "crunchy-friendly" and "lazy crunchy."









----------

1. Do you have any pets?

We have one cat. He's around 10 years old (rescue) and a bit of a brat.

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?)

Sort of. I have some baby things I bought or knitted that were supposed to be gifts but didn't end up being given away. I didn't exactly buy/make them intending to keep them, though. Also, my parents have my cradle (which my grandfather made), and I've thought about "borrowing" it for the first 6-? months if I do have a child.

3. Favorite food?

I love food. I don't have one favorite. But I'm very into roasted broccoli this week.







And potatoes. And peanut butter. And chocolate. And...

4. What brought you to MDC?

I don't remember, but I think I was researching a question for my best friend when she was pregnant a few years ago. She didn't like to read too much, for fear she'd run across something upsetting, so I looked up a lot of things online for her. I love research!









5. Random fact about yourself

I'm tall (5'10") and about to be late for work.


----------



## terrordactyl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
^^ 1. I didn't think there was snow in NM? But it says you love snow in your signature?! Haha, that's wonderful!! I'm from MN and I love snow too. People think I'm nuts for it though!









2. OMG!!!! Bob Marley shirt?! That is amazing. Seriously. Where did you find it anyhow???









ya northern NM has tons of snow and ski resorts all over it

i found it in a free box in hawaii but i've seen them in alot of hippie type stores they also have one that say's J is for Jerry that i want


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaina* 
ya northern NM has tons of snow and ski resorts all over it

i found it in a free box in hawaii but i've seen them in alot of hippie type stores they also have one that say's J is for Jerry that i want

Oh! Ha, shows how much geographical things I know.









Yay for free shirts! Especially hippie-ish ones!


----------



## Mother Cake

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?
No pets. I want a dog someday. Or maybe a turtle.

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?)
Yep. 2 dolls I made in collage. An "I was born at home" T-shirt that was mine as a baby. A Moby wrap from when I was a nanny/postpartum doula. Lots and lots of really good picture books from my childhood. A few other childhood toys . . .

3. Favorite food?
I love food, too. Favorite really depends on the day, though. I like variety and can't imagine having only one favorite.

4. What brought you to MDC?
Can't remember exactly--I was doing research on birth options and found my way here.

5. Random fact about yourself
I was an art major in collage.

Neuromancer: I love audio books. Working in a recording studio sounds really cool.


----------



## Neuromancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?)
Yep. 2 dolls I made in collage. An "I was born at home" T-shirt that was mine as a baby. A Moby wrap from when I was a nanny/postpartum doula. Lots and lots of really good picture books from my childhood. A few other childhood toys . . .

You reminded me that I also have a large collection of children's books. But I have been collecting those for years, before I ever knew I wanted to have a child.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
Neuromancer: I love audio books. Working in a recording studio sounds really cool.

It's a good job. I appreciate the relaxed atmosphere, and if I get to work with a really good narrator on a really good book, it's a special treat.







If only it paid more! But isn't that often the case with good, relaxed jobs?!


----------



## bubbledumpster

I think I posted in this tribe a year or so ago, but I haven't in a while. I'm 22, (23 soon, eek!) and my boyfriend and I want babies like crazy. But since we still can't even pay our own rent yet, it's definitely going to have to wait. We want an entire army, so we're planning on a minimum of 4 kids, And we're going to start trying probably in about a year.

I think I'll jump right in and start answering these questions, because it looks like fun!

1. Do you have any pets? If so, what kind and what are their names?
We have one cat. We got her as a kitten one year ago, and we've been tossing around names ever since.

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?)
Nope. I try to live my live clutter free, and keep only what I use regularly.

3. Favorite food?
I guess I can just go ahead and say anything Italian (except sea food). I love pastas, I love red sauces, and I love sweet peppers.
But the best meal I ever had was hamburgers on Texas Toast with corn on the cob, cooked in a cast iron skillet straight on top of a fire on top of a mountain in North Carolina.

4. What brought you to MDC?
My best friend got pregnant and spent all day on this forum two years ago. I was curious so I checked it out. Now she has a beautiful 16 month old baby girl (my goddaughter) who I consider the cutest funnest most awesome baby ever.

5. Random fact about yourself
I'm an excellent hula hooper!


----------



## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 

2. Do you have anything stashed away for your future kids? (oh-so-cute outfit you couldn't not buy? Special cradle that's been in the family forever?)
Nope. I try to live my live clutter free, and keep only what I use regularly.

I'm trying to learn to do this, but I am a terrible pack-rat. Kudos to you!


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 

3. Favorite food?
I guess I can just go ahead and say anything Italian (except sea food). I love pastas, I love red sauces, and I love sweet peppers.
But the best meal I ever had was hamburgers on Texas Toast with corn on the cob, cooked in a cast iron skillet straight on top of a fire on top of a mountain in North Carolina.

5. Random fact about yourself
I'm an excellent hula hooper!


Wow. I'm drooling reading that food from the mountain you listed. Haha! Sounds amazing!!!! *slurp* lol

And that is definitely the most random fact I've heard!! Were you in lots of hula hoop contests and such? Can you only do it on your hips or arms or what?! Ha I'm so intrigued...


----------



## bubbledumpster

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
I'm trying to learn to do this, but I am a terrible pack-rat. Kudos to you!

Believe me, it's a work in progress always. I've always been a packrat too, (I think it's in my blood) but I was really inspired by some people I met who lived with nothing but what they could carry on their backs, so I gave away almost everything I owned. I still have a few unused things lying around, like clothes that I hope someday will fit, but everyday I try to remain mindful about my consumption, and what I hold onto. I hate to think I'm letting something collect dust when someone out there could be using it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Wow. I'm drooling reading that food from the mountain you listed. Haha! Sounds amazing!!!! *slurp* lol

And that is definitely the most random fact I've heard!! Were you in lots of hula hoop contests and such? Can you only do it on your hips or arms or what?! Ha I'm so intrigued...









I saw a lady bewitching an entire drum circle with her hula hoop one day, and decided I had to learn how to do it. I can do it on my hips, legs, chest and neck, and transition between as well as a few tricks. I taught myself entirely using nothing but youtube videos! I was getting really fit until I broke my foot, and I'm only just now getting back into the groove of things.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 

I saw a lady bewitching an entire drum circle with her hula hoop one day, and decided I had to learn how to do it. I can do it on my hips, legs, chest and neck, and transition between as well as a few tricks. I taught myself entirely using nothing but youtube videos! I was getting really fit until I broke my foot, and I'm only just now getting back into the groove of things.


Haha! That is so awesome!!


----------



## terrordactyl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 

I saw a lady bewitching an entire drum circle with her hula hoop one day, and decided I had to learn how to do it. I can do it on my hips, legs, chest and neck, and transition between as well as a few tricks. I taught myself entirely using nothing but youtube videos! I was getting really fit until I broke my foot, and I'm only just now getting back into the groove of things.

i've been wanting to do this for awhile now i started learning but now i dont have internet an my hoop is gone but i do want to again soon


----------



## terrordactyl

i've been having full blown baby lust lately, to the point its getting annoying







i don't even have a serious boyfriend at the moment. i get super paranoid about getting pregnant everytime i have sex which is why me and the guy i've been seeing had a conversation about what we would do if it happened. which made my baby lust come out even more... grrrrrrrr its so frustrating.. rant end


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## nemrac917

My baby lust is pretty bad this time, too. It's bad enough that I not only popped down to Jillian's Drawers to pick up a sample of Charlie's Soap to try out now (still 2+ years away from even starting to TTC), but I also tried one of the Flip diapers I picked up on one of my cats (no tail on him, so no tail to deal with). Yes, there's even photographic evidence of that one.


----------



## terrordactyl

that babies documentary is amazing i can't wait till it comes out


----------



## Mother Cake

I'm really looking forward to seeing The Babies, too.

And I'm really excited. I made an appointment for my preconception pap with a local homebirth midwife for monday. As long as it comes back normal we will be starting TTC next cycle (currently cd8)! Yay!


----------



## KaylaBeanie

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one affected by The Babies trailer...I get a little misty-eyed every time I see it in theaters


----------



## oiseau

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one affected by The Babies trailer...I get a little misty-eyed every time I see it in theaters









Usually it just makes me smile (especially the end, when the goat drinks out of the baby's bathtub). I'm not really sure why I got so teary the other day.


----------



## terrordactyl

so how is everyone doing this week?

I'm doing alot better i got a job interview next week. which is good.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Hanging in there. School is so crazy busy. Remind me why I took three classes, each with hours and hours of reading a week, in addition to a math class with 200+ problems of homework each week? Sadly, next semester will be even worse. It'll all be worth it in the end...I want a career, and want to be able to live the city life with future hubby and kidlet, full of travel and good schools, do I gotta hang in there!

Thankfully, the family I nanny for is going away on vacation for two weeks next Wed. That will free up a lot of time, and I'll be able to finish up my two 7-10 page papers, my journals, and outline my final studying schedule. I'm done May 13th, and have a full 4 weeks before starting summer school of nothing but 8-10 hours of work a week. June and July will be nuts (school 8 hours a week and work about 30 hours a week), but then August will be great. I'm hoping to get up to NYC for my 21st birthday.


----------



## gfreelishy

Whoah!!! What is this "The Babies" trailer everyone's talking about?! I've never heard of it/ seen it... Is it in theatres? If so, that's why I haven't seen it. Haha. Spain is quite behind on movies in the theatres.









And I'm doing pretty well... Got my period today. So that part isn't fun. Thank goodness for cloth pads!!







Hehe. Oh and German g-free treats my friend sent me!! Yay!!









Just trying to step up my game in school... Mailed a bunch of job apps in the other day... I NEED a job when I get back to the US! And job hunting from 4,000 miles away is NOT fun.









Met a hot Spanish man last week... My BFF IRL and I decided he's my soulmate... He owns a pair of toe socks!!!! I *hate* white socks- toe socks are a must in my wardrobe. The second I saw his socks I freaked out (mentally of course, wouldn't wanna scare him! Haha!) But yes. We (BFF and I) decided I have to elope all romantically and such with him. He can cook, he's hot, he likes toe socks, he's Spanish, he likes reggae, he's liberal (like me)... soulmates right?!







Lol. I can dream...


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## oiseau

Also: http://www.filminfocus.com/focusfeatures/film/babies/

That's the trailer for Babies. It's coming out in the US on Mother's Day.


----------



## gfreelishy

OMG!!!! That looks absolutely adorable and great!!!

I cannot wait to see it!


----------



## terrordactyl

i'm doing good for the most part better than my horrible week last week where i lost my job because my manager was a creep and i found out the amazing guy i was dating has a girlfriend he didn't inform me about. (guess he wasn't so amazing after all) stuff like that happens to me all the time tho. so i'm over it already. i'm good at moving on and i have a great friend here thats helped me alot. its weird being back home I've been living in Colorado for the past 3 years off an on and moved back to NM about a month ago to help my mom out with my younger brother (he's 16) but things are looking up i'm going to "hang out" whatever that means in this day an age with this guy i know today maybe and i have two new job interviews this coming week which is amazing seeing as its april and finding a job in this town in april is impossible but i've always had good luck and job getting one is with a Gallery which sounds pretty cool. and one is at a local bar thats inside a hotel right downtown being a cocktail server so that would be awesome and i know the place got tons of applications so that means my resume must be pretty good plus it helps being a local.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaina* 
i'm doing good for the most part better than my horrible week last week where i lost my job because my manager was a creep and i found out the amazing guy i was dating has a girlfriend he didn't inform me about. (guess he wasn't so amazing after all) stuff like that happens to me all the time tho. so i'm over it already. i'm good at moving on and i have a great friend here thats helped me alot. its weird being back home I've been living in Colorado for the past 3 years off an on and moved back to NM about a month ago to help my mom out with my younger brother (he's 16) but things are looking up i'm going to "hang out" whatever that means in this day an age with this guy i know today maybe and i have two new job interviews this coming week which is amazing seeing as its april and finding a job in this town in april is impossible but i've always had good luck and job getting one is with a Gallery which sounds pretty cool. and one is at a local bar thats inside a hotel right downtown being a cocktail server so that would be awesome and i know the place got tons of applications so that means my resume must be pretty good plus it helps being a local.









Oof! Crazy-ness! What did your manager do?! You're lucky you've already got some job interview lined up though!! Woot Woot!!! Good luck with those! And yea I went on a date with a guy here (in Spain) and it was all great and dandy until the next week his WIFE called me and told me to back off. Hahahaha boy we all got a good laugh outta that one!!







Some people, I tell ya.


----------



## terrordactyl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Oof! Crazy-ness! What did your manager do?! You're lucky you've already got some job interview lined up though!! Woot Woot!!! Good luck with those! And yea I went on a date with a guy here (in Spain) and it was all great and dandy until the next week his WIFE called me and told me to back off. Hahahaha boy we all got a good laugh outta that one!!







Some people, I tell ya.









he was just inappropriate in his actions and what he said especially since its a corporate restaurant (applebees) now i'm dealing with a whole case against them its kinda frustrating i hate dealing with people i dont know over the phone.

ya the nerve of some guys he said it was because his girlfriend won't sleep with him anymore but the thing was i wasn't sleeping with him either because i want a commitment before i'll do that but he still kept wanting to hang out with me so if he was after an easy lay the whole thing made no sense and he's still texting me. its an awkward situation. luckily i realized something was off pretty quickly.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaina* 
he was just inappropriate in his actions and what he said especially since its a corporate restaurant (applebees) now i'm dealing with a whole case against them its kinda frustrating i hate dealing with people i dont know over the phone.

ya the nerve of some guys he said it was because his girlfriend won't sleep with him anymore but the thing was i wasn't sleeping with him either because i want a commitment before i'll do that but he still kept wanting to hang out with me so if he was after an easy lay the whole thing made no sense and he's still texting me. its an awkward situation. luckily i realized something was off pretty quickly.









Yeah that would get very old, very quickly. I had trying to deal with people I don't know too!!!!

and haha!!! wow.... that guy sounds like one classy winner.







good job for figuring everything out early enough on!!


----------



## Mother Cake

Update:

I just wanted to let you all know that DH and I are ready to start TTC (YAY!) And to ask if I can still post on this thread sometimes *while* we are TTC--is that o.k.?

I've seen the graduate love threads--when do ppl graduate? When the start TTC, or get a BFP or have the baby or what?

TIA


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mother Cake* 
Update:

I just wanted to let you all know that DH and I are ready to start TTC (YAY!) And to ask if I can still post on this thread sometimes *while* we are TTC--is that o.k.?

I've seen the graduate love threads--when do ppl graduate? When the start TTC, or get a BFP or have the baby or what?

TIA

























I'm not sure on when you graduate, but make sure you update us all over here


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## terrordactyl

usually you graduate when you have the baby, we love it when you update us tho. so we can live through you


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 

Here's a question: Have any of you given any thought to what time of year you'd like your babies to be born? I think I'd really like spring babies because that way I'd avoid being hugely pregnant in the summer (I already hate the summer and being hot already...add in an extra human being inside me and I think I might not survive!). Also, lots of animal babies are born in spring, so it just feels natural. Plus, I'd skip having to take a teeny baby out in really cold weather.
That being said, I'd take a baby any time of year!

I am so with you on the whole hating summer thing!!! Ugh I could NOT handle all that heat and crap. I guess I never really thought about it too much. But a spring/ late winter baby would be good for me I think. Maybe fall would be good too... Ha, who knows. I would just strongly prefer to not have a summer baby.









I've also dreamed of getting married in October. So I would kind of want my baby born in a different month than that.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

See, I want a summer baby! I was born in August, and I love not having to share my big day with any holidays. My dad's birthday frequently falls on Father's Day, my mom's is the day before Valentine's Day and my sister's is a few days after Halloween. I get all of August to myself







Funny story, but when I lived in Hawaii, we never had school on my birthday since that's the day Hawaii became a state. It was pretty sweet. Plus, I love spring and summer clothes, and plan to show off my bump in bikinis (if I got pregnant at a different time, I'll just have to go to indoor pools to show it off







). It's the one time when everything is all stretched out without any belly rolls or anything, gotta take advantage of that!


----------



## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Yup, I move people to the graduates list when they have their babies.

. . .

Here's a question: Have any of you given any thought to what time of year you'd like your babies to be born? I think I'd really like spring babies because that way I'd avoid being hugely pregnant in the summer (I already hate the summer and being hot already...add in an extra human being inside me and I think I might not survive!). Also, lots of animal babies are born in spring, so it just feels natural. Plus, I'd skip having to take a teeny baby out in really cold weather.
That being said, I'd take a baby any time of year!

I'll let you move me when it's time then, and keep up with the updates.









As to time of year, I think babies also have an idea of when they want to come, so I'm trying to keep my preferences out of the way.


----------



## BlackAngelPlayah

I'm Jennifer. I'm 32 years and kinda TTC, mostly not preventing. I WAS actively ttc until I got this new job & DH said it may be a good idea to wait. Again... Not sure if my day will ever come to know the joy of motherhood, but I'm still hopeful, but I'm not getting my hopes up anymore.

Anyway, if I'm ever so blessed to graduate to mommyhood, I'd be into breastfeeding, attatchment parenting, organic stuff (though I'm not a health nut.), all that good stuff. Not quite "crunchy" just quite "crispy". LoL! I won't likely go unassisted as far as pregnancy, but I'm not TOTALLY against unassisted childbirth. I'd likely have a midwife or a very open minded doctor.







DH is more of a traditional fella. But he does love cheap, so the less it costs the happier he'll be.

OK, before I start rambling, imma go.







Long story short, I'm in the ttc/not preventing PRAYING stage of mommyhood.









See yall through the screen.









Jen


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Welcome Jennifer!









Does anyone else feel like college is great practice for motherhood? It's 4:30 am, and I'm just now turning off the computer and crawling into bed with my book. I've mastered the art of running on coffee while braindead. I read a comment on a blog once (regarding SAHMing) that said we should all have kids first, then go to college. Aside from being impractical (not many people get married young these days), I feel like my college education is preparing me well for the many years of sleepless nights ahead. It's a great thing...8 more years of school, 4+ years of residency and then 18+ years of child-rearing...it'll be a long life, with no sleep and lots of coffee









/incoherent ramblings. I make more sense when I'm drunk than when I'm tired.


----------



## gfreelishy

Welcome Jennifer!









Kay-- I'm so with you on that! Well it's also making me happy I'm going to school now and not having kids til I'm stable and settled down.







Hehe.

But yea, if I get like, 6 hours of sleep one night I'm pretty proud and well rested! Haha, that's not how it's supposed to be... Oh well, gotta live like the stereotypical college student right?!


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## aquarius aspiring

Posting in here tonight because I feel kind of sad.

I ran out of birth control pills a couple of weeks ago. I had to find an new doctor (actually I ended up with a CNM) because I have insurance now. I got a new prescription for the pill. I should start taking them tonight.

The problem is that I don't entirely want to start taking them again. I want to let nature take its course and have a surprise baby. DH is not cool with that at all. I brought it up to him a few times but he said he's not ready for that kind of surprise.

We had a long talk about when we could start TTC. The conclusion we came to is that it's going to be a few years. He agreed that it would be nice to have a surprise baby, but only if the surprise was when I was actively on the pill and there was an oops. I even felt sad the night we talked because I do want a baby with all my heart, but I know now's not the best time.

I also know there's no convincing DH that we'd be okay with a baby now. He doesn't feel ready and I have to respect that.

I want to be okay with not having a baby for a few years until both DH and I are ready, but I don't know how to get to that point. I'm busy with my masters degree program and two jobs, but yet I can't help feeling like someone's missing. Sometimes I picture a babe in a car seat in the back of my car. I long for the day when I can put our baby in a sling and show him/her what's in the store windows downtown. I want to chase a toddler through the park and fall asleep with him/her in my arms.

Thank you for letting me ramble on here. I just needed to get that out of my system.


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## Neuromancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquarius aspiring* 
We had a long talk about when we could start TTC. The conclusion we came to is that it's going to be a few years. He agreed that it would be nice to have a surprise baby, but only if the surprise was when I was actively on the pill and there was an oops. I even felt sad the night we talked because I do want a baby with all my heart, but I know now's not the best time.

I also know there's no convincing DH that we'd be okay with a baby now. He doesn't feel ready and I have to respect that.

I want to be okay with not having a baby for a few years until both DH and I are ready, but I don't know how to get to that point. I'm busy with my masters degree program and two jobs, but yet I can't help feeling like someone's missing. Sometimes I picture a babe in a car seat in the back of my car. I long for the day when I can put our baby in a sling and show him/her what's in the store windows downtown. I want to chase a toddler through the park and fall asleep with him/her in my arms.

Thank you for letting me ramble on here. I just needed to get that out of my system.









I understand. That would make me sad, too -- that he's okay with a surprise, but not with taking an action that might more directly result in a baby. I had two months in a row in which I missed my period completely, but wasn't pregnant. I was really disappointed it wasn't an "oops" (I'm on a BCP, and take it faithfully), and even my husband admitted he was a little sorry I wasn't pregnant after all. So why can't we get to the point where we both agree I'll stop taking the pill and we'll see what happens?!

I got invited to a baby shower for a (not close) friend the other day, and I can't go because I have a schedule conflict with another event. I'm actually glad. I don't want to wallow in sadness at someone else's baby shower.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I feel like that all the time. I really feel like the only way we'll ever have a baby is if it's an oops. I can hardly imagine a time when my fiance will ever say "OK, everything is good and this is the time to do it." I think he'll always keep wanting to put it off. I think the most I'll ever get is an "OK, we can stop using condoms and see what happens and I guess we'll deal with whatever happens."

I've started getting teary sometimes when I see a brand new baby being snuggled and I just get so overwhelmed with how much I want that too. I can't wait to have a tiny little baby to snuggle and love and then a toddler to teach things to and who will make me laugh at the silly things he/she says and does. I can't put into words how much I want a child and I feel like if I could and if my fiance understood how intense of a feeling it is, he would be more willing to let it happen sooner.

(In all seriousness though, we're totally not ready)

Yup. I agree with all of this, except situationally I think we're ready -- except for that snag of my husband thinking he's NOT ready.







Which, of course (sigh), means we're not ready. I can see the humor in this, but...geez.


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## aquarius aspiring

I

Quote:

understand. That would make me sad, too -- that he's okay with a surprise, but not with taking an action that might more directly result in a baby. I had two months in a row in which I missed my period completely, but wasn't pregnant. I was really disappointed it wasn't an "oops" (I'm on a BCP, and take it faithfully), and even my husband admitted he was a little sorry I wasn't pregnant after all. So why can't we get to the point where we both agree I'll stop taking the pill and we'll see what happens?!
My period was late a few months ago. I took a digital test and it came up as positive. We were both in shock until I took three more tests and they came up as negative. I started my period the next day.

DH admitted to me that he was a little sad that I wasn't pregnant, but he isn't willing for me to go off the pill and see what happens.

Quote:

I can hardly imagine a time when my fiance will ever say "OK, everything is good and this is the time to do it." I think he'll always keep wanting to put it off. I think the most I'll ever get is an "OK, we can stop using condoms and see what happens and I guess we'll deal with whatever happens."
I'd be in complete shock if DH said, "Okay, stop taking your pills and let's see what happens." I know he'll be ready for a baby someday, but that day is way far off.

Quote:

got invited to a baby shower for a (not close) friend the other day, and I can't go because I have a schedule conflict with another event. I'm actually glad. I don't want to wallow in sadness at someone else's baby shower.
That's why I'm a little happy that almost of my high school friends and college friends live out of the area. They're having babies left and right. Two women just had their babies a few weeks ago. Then again, there's someone in the front office who's pregnant right now. Don't get me wrong. I do want to see my friends and their babies, but I don't want to have to deal with baby showers.


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## terrordactyl

False Alarm I'm fine yay!!!


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## KaylaBeanie

Has it been more than 72 hours? If not, you can always get Plan B. I suspect you're out of time though, since you say it's been a few days. All I can say is try to relax and think rationally. When did you ovulate (roughly, it's usually halfway through your cycle)? Realistically, the chances are pretty low that you're pregnant. Stress could prolong your period's arrival more. In the meantime, all you can really do is come up with an emergency pregnancy plan, and wait. It sucks.


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## aquarius aspiring

DH is out of town this weekend.

So far I've watched _Baby Mama_. Now I'm watching _Knocked Up_. I've also got _Birth of a Family_, _Attending Birth_, and _Birth Day_ lined up.

It's Saturday night with my biological clock. Is it sad that I want to see _The Back-Up Plan_?


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## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquarius aspiring* 
DH is out of town this weekend.

So far I've watched _Baby Mama_. Now I'm watching _Knocked Up_. I've also got _Birth of a Family_, _Attending Birth_, and _Birth Day_ lined up.

It's Saturday night with my biological clock. Is it sad that I want to see _The Back-Up Plan_?









The Back-Up Plan was hysterically funny, if you can laugh at our crunchy world


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## aquarius aspiring

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
The Back-Up Plan was hysterically funny, if you can laugh at our crunchy world









Awesome! I can totally laugh at stuff like that. I thought _Away We Go_ and the scenes with LN and her family were so funny. I've seen it three times and DH still makes cracks about it. "So, what do you think about strollers? Do you want to _push_ our baby away from us?" I do think that movie got him thinking about a family bed.


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## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquarius aspiring* 
Awesome! I can totally laugh at stuff like that. I thought _Away We Go_ and the scenes with LN and her family were so funny. I've seen it three times and DH still makes cracks about it. "So, what do you think about strollers? Do you want to _push_ our baby away from us?" I do think that movie got him thinking about a family bed.









Ha, ok, you'll love it then


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## Kyamo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 

Here's a question: Have any of you given any thought to what time of year you'd like your babies to be born? I think I'd really like spring babies because that way I'd avoid being hugely pregnant in the summer (I already hate the summer and being hot already...add in an extra human being inside me and I think I might not survive!). Also, lots of animal babies are born in spring, so it just feels natural. Plus, I'd skip having to take a teeny baby out in really cold weather.
That being said, I'd take a baby any time of year!

I agree with you, I'd like spring best. I get cold easily, I don't want to be topless all day learning to nurse in the winter. And we don't have A/C either, so being really pregnant in August would suck.

So, I have ovulated only twice since I went off the pill last Oct. So, obviously TTC isn't going so well.

Two days ago, I went to a specialist to figure out the reason. I have a pile of tests to get done, but he agrees with me it's probably PCOS.


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## Kyamo

Hey, oiseau, you're famous!


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## aquarius aspiring

I just found out tonight that someone else at work is pregnant. I'm absolutely thrilled for her and her husband. At the same time, I'm insanely jealous.

Currently, I know six women who are pregnant and two more women who just had their babies.

This baby 'spolsion is insane!


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## jtc77

Hi, I'm new! We have been TTC for over 9 months and I'm using that time to explore my child birth and parenting options so that I will be well-prepared when it's "my" time. I don't "belong" on most of these forums so it's nice to have this thread!

I adore my nephew, 2 1/2, and niece, 11 weeks. My SIL had a natural child birth and I find her very inspirational as a mother.


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## jtc77

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 

Here's a question: Have any of you given any thought to what time of year you'd like your babies to be born? I think I'd really like spring babies because that way I'd avoid being hugely pregnant in the summer (I already hate the summer and being hot already...add in an extra human being inside me and I think I might not survive!). Also, lots of animal babies are born in spring, so it just feels natural. Plus, I'd skip having to take a teeny baby out in really cold weather.
That being said, I'd take a baby any time of year!

I agree, I will take a baby at any point, but I have always wanted a spring baby as well. I was hoping for one this spring, but I will take next spring! Aside from the reasons you list, it would work much better for my work schedule.

My niece was born in February, and that worked out well because the first few weeks it's hard to get out anyway, and now that it's getting nice she is a little bit more mobile and easier to take out.


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## oiseau

.


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Yeah...our whole tribe gets to be famous for the month of May!!









Welcome jtc!!

I unexpectedly got to meet a 12 day old baby on Sunday. My fiance's cousin's had her bridal shower and the sister of the groom was there with her new baby. He got passed around for a little bit and I was one of the lucky ones who got to hold him. He was waking up while I had him and kept peeking his eyes open trying to figure out what was going on and making funny faces. He was super tiny (7lbs) and may rank as the youngest baby I've ever held (I think my cousin was 14 days old when I met him, my god-daughter was about 3 weeks). Oddly enough, I didn't really get that warm fuzzy must-have-my-own-now feeling while I held him, but it was still really sweet.
I was also witness to even more proof that my fiance is getting more comfortable with having kids of his own. At the same party (it was co-ed, so he was there too), his little almost 3 yr old niece got run into by her 4 yr old brother running at full speed. Usually during that moment between when a kid gets injured and when they scream, my fiance just flinches, bracing for the scream (he hates the sound of crying). On Sunday, though, the second she fell, he ran full speed across the room to swoop her up and comfort her, no hesitation. He held her and reassured her while she screamed and got her calmed down. It was so sweet and my heart just melted for a moment there. He adores her so much and so extra loving with her. He gets sweeter with her every time he sees her and it's so nice to see him relaxing around kids. (He's always been great with kids, but he usually shys away when there's crying or messes involved...not with his niece and nephew). It's such a big change from last year and it makes me so happy...he really will be ok with being a dad someday...and he'll be a really great dad!

(On a sidenote, his uncle (niece & nephew's grandpa) was the one holding the newborn before me. When he handed me the baby, he looked at me holding it and sighed and told me he couldn't wait until fiance and I have grandbabies for him. They won't be official grandbabies, but it was sweet and funny that he said that. He might be more excited than any of our actual parents...except maybe my mom!). Counting down the days...22 months and 3 weeks till I'm far enough out from cancer treatment!!

Awwww! What a great story







Thanks for sharing, oiseau!!!


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## terrordactyl

little babies are the best so sweet an tiny


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## bubbledumpster

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquarius aspiring* 
DH is out of town this weekend.

So far I've watched _Baby Mama_. Now I'm watching _Knocked Up_. I've also got _Birth of a Family_, _Attending Birth_, and _Birth Day_ lined up.

It's Saturday night with my biological clock. Is it sad that I want to see _The Back-Up Plan_?









Haha, you sound just like me. _16 & Pregnant_, _Knocked Up_, _Baby Mama_, _Away We Go_; I don't care how poorly written the dialogue or cheesy the plot lines. If someone is giving birth, I'll watch it. I'm downloading _The Back Up Plan_ as we speak.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Here's a question: Have any of you given any thought to what time of year you'd like your babies to be born? I think I'd really like spring babies because that way I'd avoid being hugely pregnant in the summer (I already hate the summer and being hot already...add in an extra human being inside me and I think I might not survive!). Also, lots of animal babies are born in spring, so it just feels natural. Plus, I'd skip having to take a teeny baby out in really cold weather.
That being said, I'd take a baby any time of year!

My birthday is in May and I've always appreciated the sights and sounds of spring happening at the same time as my birthday. It's the perfect time of year to go outside and enjoy nature! So I would love to have a baby sometime in spring.

Today I was going about my usual business, just catching up on my RSS feeds while the SO played a computer game, when he turned around and asked, "So, when are we going to have a kid?" And I guess we've decided we'll TTC starting July of 2011. So, put me on that list!









I signed up for a half-term Summer class in math. It will be my last college level math class ever!









And, I'm aging out of health insurance coverage from the 'rents at the end of this month, so I'm finally going to the doctor for a whole host of things that I just never got around too. I'm pretty sure I have hypothyroidism (my mother and sister both do, and as soon as my sister got on a pill for it, she lost all her excess weight.







). I went to the doctor today and now I have three referrals, one for a blood test for my thyroid, one for an ultrasound (I haven't had a period for three months, which I hadn't really been worried about, because this has happened my whole life. Should I worry?), and one for a pap smear because I haven't had one in 5 years (again, I don't think I need to worry about this because I'm only about to be 23 and have only had one partner my whole life, who has also only had one partner his whole life(me)). At $25 copay each + school books & fees for this semester, I'm hoping I can get a job soon or our vacation might be nixed. =(

I know I don't post much here, but I'm a hardcore lurker. So







to all of you.


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## Neuromancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 
Haha, you sound just like me. _16 & Pregnant_, _Knocked Up_, _Baby Mama_, _Away We Go_; I don't care how poorly written the dialogue or cheesy the plot lines. If someone is giving birth, I'll watch it. I'm downloading _The Back Up Plan_ as we speak.


I'm that way about books -- I'm happy to read anything (fiction or nonfiction) about pregnancy and birth right now!

My husband and I made a small step forward. We decided that after this month's birth control supply is used up (3 more weeks) I will stop taking it and we will switch to condoms. This will give my body a chance to regulate itself and will also force him to think more about being in charge of the birth control. I've been taking the pill for almost 15 years. I'm thrilled to get a break from the hormones!







And maybe he'll decide that he's ready to take that next step sooner, rather than later -- that bigger step -- to no birth control...


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## Kyamo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 
(I haven't had a period for three months, which I hadn't really been worried about, because this has happened my whole life. Should I worry?),


About your fertility? Yes. I was the same, for me its probably PCOS (working on testing right now) and I have ovulated only twice in 7 months, which obviously makes TTC difficult!


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## aquarius aspiring

Can I make a Mother's Day rant here please?

Don't get me wrong. I like Mother's Day. I really do. I think it's a nice holiday for mothers.

However, I hate it when I go out to dinner on Mother's Day and all of the waitstaff says, "Happy Mother's Day if you're a mother" or "Happy Mother's Day". I don't know why, but the whole thing drives me crazy. I know it's just a little thing, but I wish they'd keep their mouths shut. A tiny part of me doesn't want to be reminded that I'm not a mama yet, but it's mostly just annoying to hear it.

I know it's a rant that makes no sense, but I was just thinking about it because DH and I are going out to celebrate our first wedding anniversary (!) and we're bound to hear it at least once or twice.


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquarius aspiring* 
Can I make a Mother's Day rant here please?

Don't get me wrong. I like Mother's Day. I really do. I think it's a nice holiday for mothers.

However, I hate it when I go out to dinner on Mother's Day and all of the waitstaff says, "Happy Mother's Day if you're a mother" or "Happy Mother's Day". I don't know why, but the whole thing drives me crazy. I know it's just a little thing, but I wish they'd keep their mouths shut. A tiny part of me doesn't want to be reminded that I'm not a mama yet, but it's mostly just annoying to hear it.

I know it's a rant that makes no sense, but I was just thinking about it because DH and I are going out to celebrate our first wedding anniversary (!) and we're bound to hear it at least once or twice.

Yea I'm with you on that. For basically all holidays too. What if someone's mother recently passed away? What if they never knew their mother? What if they're Jehovah's Witness (or something) and don't celebrate Mother's Day? I think it's enough when they have signs and it's advertised everywhere else- not always necessary to say it to every single person... Hope your dinner with DH didn't get interrupted/ bothered by too many Mother's Day greetings!!


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## aquarius aspiring

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
Yea I'm with you on that. For basically all holidays too. What if someone's mother recently passed away? What if they never knew their mother? What if they're Jehovah's Witness (or something) and don't celebrate Mother's Day? I think it's enough when they have signs and it's advertised everywhere else- not always necessary to say it to every single person... Hope your dinner with DH didn't get interrupted/ bothered by too many Mother's Day greetings!!










Luckily, we went to a pretty low-key place and they didn't say anything to us. At the end of our meal, the waiter gave me a yellow flower which I guess they were handing out to all the mothers. That wasn't too bad, but it was a little awkward.

I've been complaining a lot on this board and in real life and I feel terrible for doing it all the time. Sure, I've got a lot of stress at work right now, but complaining's not going to help. I need to think happy thoughts!


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## terrordactyl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aquarius aspiring* 
Luckily, we went to a pretty low-key place and they didn't say anything to us. At the end of our meal, the waiter gave me a yellow flower which I guess they were handing out to all the mothers. That wasn't too bad, but it was a little awkward.

I've been complaining a lot on this board and in real life and I feel terrible for doing it all the time. Sure, I've got a lot of stress at work right now, but complaining's not going to help. I need to think happy thoughts!









All that being said....I think this tribe is the only place I can put my latest rant.

Last night, after I got home from a ten-hour workday, DH told me that he found a great deal and bought a new computer. I wasn't particularly enthusiastic about his find because the man already has...three, maybe four computers. It's hard to keep track. He mentioned to me about two weeks ago if I would be okay with him buying a mac because he's starting a home computer business and he's not that familar with macs. I agreed with him that it was probably a good investment. He bought it that night.

I'm having more trouble with the computer he just bought last night. Why in the world does he need another computer? He already has a mac, a pc, a netbook, a blackberry, and an ipod touch. I know...he's a gadget geek.









At first, I thought I was bothered by just the money that he spent. But it's his money and he can spend it on what he wants. We don't combine our money on anything because he's paying the rent while I'm in school and paying off student loans. The money part bothers me because he always claims that he doesn't make enough money to support a child right now and that's part of the reason he doesn't want kids for a couple of years. Well, maybe if he'd stop blowing all his money on gadgets, he'd have more money to save!

I think what's also bugging me is that I don't see the point of having _another_ computer. It's hard for me to see his side because I'm not a geek at all and I have my laptop and that's it.

The last big purchase I made was buying attendance to the midwifery conference and paying for the hotel room and we took money out of our savings account for that (all the money that his parents have given us for our wedding, birthdays, and Christmases).

Am I overreacting to this situation? We've been married for a year now and we've never had "our" money. Is that the way it's supposed to work? He makes twice as much as me and has his money. I work two part-time jobs and use my money. We keep talking about needing to set up a budget, but I have no idea where to start.

Whew! This post started out with one thing and turned into something else entirely.







Thank you for reading!

i'd be a little mad especially since he didnt talk to you about it. maybe it is time to sit down and talk about some kind of budget for the future so you can start thinking about children you might want to head over to the frugality and finance section of MDC those ladies are great with budgets


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## aquarius aspiring

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shaina* 
i'd be a little mad especially since he didnt talk to you about it. maybe it is time to sit down and talk about some kind of budget for the future so you can start thinking about children you might want to head over to the frugality and finance section of MDC those ladies are great with budgets









Thanks, Shaina.







I was thinking of putting the post in that section, so I think I'll do a little cross-posting tonight.


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## HerRoyallHighness

Hello, new member venturing into the game!

I'm not a mama yet (obviously, since I'm posting here), but we're agreed to start TTC this summer. I have about two months' worth of birth control left so I figure I'll use those up and just not get any more. Plus that would make for really good timing with the fluctuations of busyness in my work - I'm a massage therapist and busy season for us is the winter through about March or so, and then things slow down through the summer and fall, so giving birth in the spring or summer would be ideal for me. On top of that, my mom is a teacher, so having a baby around the time she gets out of school for the summer means I'll have lots of help and a few months of free babysitting! So we're aiming for getting pregnant somewhere between July and October. In a perfect world, at least.

Only problem is, I'm so ready that my mind (or my body, or both) is playing tricks on me. The last couple of months I'd have sworn I was pregnant already. Does anyone else get that sort of thing?


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## terrordactyl

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HerRoyallHighness* 
Hello, new member venturing into the game!

I'm not a mama yet (obviously, since I'm posting here), but we're agreed to start TTC this summer. I have about two months' worth of birth control left so I figure I'll use those up and just not get any more. Plus that would make for really good timing with the fluctuations of busyness in my work - I'm a massage therapist and busy season for us is the winter through about March or so, and then things slow down through the summer and fall, so giving birth in the spring or summer would be ideal for me. On top of that, my mom is a teacher, so having a baby around the time she gets out of school for the summer means I'll have lots of help and a few months of free babysitting! So we're aiming for getting pregnant somewhere between July and October. In a perfect world, at least.

Only problem is, I'm so ready that my mind (or my body, or both) is playing tricks on me. The last couple of months I'd have sworn I was pregnant already. Does anyone else get that sort of thing?


welcome!!!
if you've been on BC for a long time it may take awhile for your body to adjust before u get pregnant sometime it can take up to 6 months so dont be discourage if when u get off BC you don't get pregnant right away









sometimes i think i'm pregnant and it freaks me out


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## aquarius aspiring

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HerRoyallHighness* 
Hello, new member venturing into the game!

I'm not a mama yet (obviously, since I'm posting here), but we're agreed to start TTC this summer. I have about two months' worth of birth control left so I figure I'll use those up and just not get any more. Plus that would make for really good timing with the fluctuations of busyness in my work - I'm a massage therapist and busy season for us is the winter through about March or so, and then things slow down through the summer and fall, so giving birth in the spring or summer would be ideal for me. On top of that, my mom is a teacher, so having a baby around the time she gets out of school for the summer means I'll have lots of help and a few months of free babysitting! So we're aiming for getting pregnant somewhere between July and October. In a perfect world, at least.

Only problem is, I'm so ready that my mind (or my body, or both) is playing tricks on me. The last couple of months I'd have sworn I was pregnant already. Does anyone else get that sort of thing?

Welcome!









I get that sometimes. It's so so easy to mistake PMS symptoms for pregnancy symptoms!

















Sending good vibes your way and plenty of baby dust!


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## HerRoyallHighness

Here's another question: Do you announce to your family and close friends that you are TTC? Or will you wait until it happens?

Personally, I don't want to talk about it to anybody in my immediate life until it happens. I don't want that kind of pressure. I don't want to feel I'm disappointing the grandmas-to-be every month that it doesn't happen. And I realize that a lot of that pressure is being created in my head, but still, it's there to me. I feel like it will just be simpler if we keep that part to ourselves and then surprise our family and friends when we're really going to have a baby.


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## gfreelishy

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HerRoyallHighness* 
Here's another question: Do you announce to your family and close friends that you are TTC? Or will you wait until it happens?

Personally, I don't want to talk about it to anybody in my immediate life until it happens. I don't want that kind of pressure. I don't want to feel I'm disappointing the grandmas-to-be every month that it doesn't happen. And I realize that a lot of that pressure is being created in my head, but still, it's there to me. I feel like it will just be simpler if we keep that part to ourselves and then surprise our family and friends when we're really going to have a baby.

I'm not thinking of TTC or anything as of now, but personally, I wouldn't tell friends and fam DH and I were TTC. I feel like that's more pressure and like everyone's waiting around for it, ya know? I think when I officially know I AM pregnant, that's when I can spill the news to everyone.


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## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gfreelishy* 
I'm not thinking of TTC or anything as of now, but personally, I wouldn't tell friends and fam DH and I were TTC. I feel like that's more pressure and like everyone's waiting around for it, ya know? I think when I officially know I AM pregnant, that's when I can spill the news to everyone.

This is how I want to do it, too. (I'm currently TTC)However, it's really hard to not let on, because anyone who knows me at all knows that I have wanted kids of my own since I was a kid myself. But I try to be vague, not bring it up, and hedge when they ask pointed questions.

I actually don't want to tell hardly anyone until I am in my second tri, but I don't see how that will work. I'm trying to figure out how to hide early pregnancy symptoms, particularly things like lake of energy or nausea that affect how I behave, from people I see regularly.


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## terrordactyl

so i'm watching the back up plan right now and already laughing the face she made when the 3 year old is nursing is priceless.


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## Neuromancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HerRoyallHighness* 
Here's another question: Do you announce to your family and close friends that you are TTC? Or will you wait until it happens?

Personally, I don't want to talk about it to anybody in my immediate life until it happens. I don't want that kind of pressure. I don't want to feel I'm disappointing the grandmas-to-be every month that it doesn't happen. And I realize that a lot of that pressure is being created in my head, but still, it's there to me. I feel like it will just be simpler if we keep that part to ourselves and then surprise our family and friends when we're really going to have a baby.

When we decide we're officially "ready" (as we can be, anyway) to have a child, I've promised myself I'm not even going to think of it as TTC. I'm going to think of it as being off birth control and open to having a child. The word "trying" is where I get stuck on TTC. Probably it's because I have pessimistic tendencies, but I don't want to set myself up for that pressure/waiting game.

But my husband and I have also talked about how we're not going to tell friends and family we're TTC even if we do grow to think of it that way. I MIGHT tell my mom that we've decided we're open to the idea of having a baby, but only because she's never once pressured us to have a child. And I MIGHT tell a friend or two, if only to have someone to talk to about it besides my husband. But we do think it will be fun to surprise people if I do get pregnant.

Plus, on a less serious note, my husband said he doesn't want people to imagine us having sex, so he wouldn't tell anyone if we were trying.


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## oiseau

.


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## Neuromancer

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
As for telling people once I actually am pregnant, I think I'd wait to tell most people, but I'd probably tell my best friend and my mom right away (and everyone on MDC). That way, if I had a miscarriage, I'd have a couple people who knew what was going on and would support me. I'd probably wait till 8 or 12 weeks to tell other people. My fiance said he'd pretty much never want to tell his parents, especially his mom, because we're both pretty sure she'd make some unintentionally rude comments in response. Since I'm expecting it, it won't bug me and I'm probably just gonna be amused by it.
I guess I'd have to tell my boss pretty early too since I work in a job that might require some precautions and avoiding some tasks in I were pregnant.

I'm of two minds about telling people. I know this is just a pre-pregnancy theory and that my actual in-the-moment decision could very likely be different, but I think I'd tell many people I feel close with in the first trimester. Mostly this is because I'd be really excited AND nervous. I'd want to talk about it. But in part, this is also because I'd like to help erase the stigma of miscarriage. Of course, if I were to have a miscarriage I'm sure I would feel very complex emotions about it, including sadness I can't now imagine, but I also hope I would not feel ashamed. And if I had to tell people I had a miscarriage (or pass the message on through friends/family) I hope it would be another way to de-mystify (but not gloss over) this sad event that happens to so many people.

This said, I wouldn't want the ONLY topic of conversation with my friends to be my pregnancy, so I might decide to hold off telling people until I started to show or had noticeable symptoms just to keep myself out of the spotlight a little longer.







I am self-conscious about bragging or hogging the spotlight, and I also know not everyone would even _care_ if I get pregnant, so I wouldn't just tell everyone willy-nilly.

I don't drink much and I'm tall (I hear sometimes tall women don't show as early, but I know that's not always the case), so unless I get sick publicly or start showing early, I might get away with not telling for quite a while.

p.s. Isn't it nice that we can all "tell" MDC colleagues at any point along the way? I love having this anonymous group of supportive kindred spirits on the internet.


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## HerRoyallHighness

I do have one friend who knows what our plans are, but i don't intend to discuss it with anyone else and she knows that. I don't think I could not tell people when I'm actually pregnant - I'd be way too excited to hide it! I don't keep secrets that big very well. I'm pretty sure everyone would guess what's up.

I'd always been told that it's "better" to wait til you're out of the third trimester, but then I read a column recently by a woman who did tell and then had a miscarriage and she brought up a very good point: Even though it meant she had to "untell" everyone, it also meant that she had the support and sympathy from people in her life who loved her, and she felt that without all of the love they extended to her when she lost her baby the depression and the grief would have been much worse and much harder to deal with.


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## KaylaBeanie

Well, as I'm single I have no idea what I'd do, since there's another person in the baby making equation









If it were entirely up to me, I'd wait until 12 weeks to tell anybody, including parents and friends. My family is huge, and gossip spreads like wildfire. A few years ago, my cousin got pregnant and the whole family knew within a week. She miscarried, but naturally she didn't go around announcing such unhappy news, so half of us thought she was still pregnant.

So, I'd wait. Get an ultrasound at 12 weeks, make sure everything is in the right place and growing well, then share. Then again, I'm pretty pessimistic when it comes to early pregnancy...to me, it's not a "yay baby" until at least 16 weeks and it is moving, mom has a bump, etc. I get really excited when my SIL announces her pregnancies, but I just don't feel that "oh yay, a baby is coming!" until it's more noticeable. I might be different when it's me, but I doubt it. So, 12 weeks would be perfect...the news could sink in and then a month later or so, the baby excitement would set in.


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## Mother Cake

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Neuromancer* 
I'm of two minds about telling people. I know this is just a pre-pregnancy theory and that my actual in-the-moment decision could very likely be different, but I think I'd tell many people I feel close with in the first trimester. Mostly this is because I'd be really excited AND nervous. I'd want to talk about it. But in part, this is also because I'd like to help erase the stigma of miscarriage. Of course, if I were to have a miscarriage I'm sure I would feel very complex emotions about it, including sadness I can't now imagine, but I also hope I would not feel ashamed. And if I had to tell people I had a miscarriage (or pass the message on through friends/family) I hope it would be another way to de-mystify (but not gloss over) this sad event that happens to so many people. . . .


Quote:


Originally Posted by *HerRoyallHighness* 
. . . I'd always been told that it's "better" to wait til you're out of the third trimester, but then I read a column recently by a woman who did tell and then had a miscarriage and she brought up a very good point: Even though it meant she had to "untell" everyone, it also meant that she had the support and sympathy from people in her life who loved her, and she felt that without all of the love they extended to her when she lost her baby the depression and the grief would have been much worse and much harder to deal with.

For me, not telling has a lot to do with not wanting to "un-tell" a bunch of people. I'm a private person and an introvert, and I really don't like the world knowing my private business. It has nothing to do with shame. And I think if I had a miscarriage, I'd be fairly open about it once the grief had passed. There are certain people whose support I would want if I was going through a miscarriage, and they are on the short-list of people I would tell during early pregnancy. But for most of the world, I'd wait to "announce" the news until it started to announce itself.









So I guess I'm saying that I plan to be very discriminating in who I tell when. I think there are so many individual things to take into consideration, that each couple has to decide this for themselves.


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## bubbledumpster

I would probably tell my sister, and one or two of my two closest girl friends; but that would be it.

I wouldn't tell anyone else anything until I started to show. My parents would probably be the last to know. I know they would start pestering me incessantly, and we don't really have the best relationship as it is.

My SO on the other hand, would probably tell everyone he knows. He's a very open person, and never feels the need to hold things back. He probably wouldn't tell his mum though, at least until after conception. She's a very anxious person, so she would probably freak out if she knew we were ttc, but she'd be happy for us once it happened.

I also totally agree w/ Neuromancer:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Neuromancer* 
When we decide we're officially "ready" (as we can be, anyway) to have a child, I've promised myself I'm not even going to think of it as TTC. I'm going to think of it as being off birth control and open to having a child. The word "trying" is where I get stuck on TTC. Probably it's because I have pessimistic tendencies, but I don't want to set myself up for that pressure/waiting game.

Unless I have some sort of fertility problem, I won't be "Trying" to conceive, but more like "not trying not to conceive".









ETA: I just wanted to add that I'm so happy this tribe exists. Sometimes I feel like a totally insane person for being so obsessed and excited about parenting and babies and childbirth. I made a new friend recently who's only 20 and a few weeks after meeting her I had her watching Business of Being Born with me.


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## JlyGrnMigt

I used to hang around (but not post) in the NMY threads a few years ago, and now I'm back!

I'm married now, living in China with the hubs, and I'm hoping to ttc starting in August, which will be our first anniversary. We head back to the U.S. in December, so I feel like I don't want to be too far along by the time we get home.

Unfortunately I'm dealing with various health issues and feel like those are things I can't get help for here. I might try one of the Tibetan medicine places, but would need a translator as my Tibetan is...not good







My husband speaks Mandarin, so that might work...anyway. I'm gluten intolerant, but celiac negative, and am starting to suspect yeast issues since I have the worlds most annoying case of recurrent athlete's foot. I don't know whether these things would affect my ability to get and stay pregnant and have a healthy baby. *sigh*

So, if you could add me to the roster, please...Birthday is October 8, sign is Libra, ttc time is this year. Time to go change my sig.


----------



## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 
I

Unless I have some sort of fertility problem, I won't be "Trying" to conceive, but more like "not trying not to conceive".










Same here, though I still call it ttc. It's more like tossin' out the condoms and having some fun.







Despite my other health concerns, my cycle is so textbook perfect it's funny. 28 days long, ovulation cramp on day 14. As for telling, I've told a few friends that I plan to be pregnant on the plane home, but no family yet. If we follow my preferred timing and get it right on the first try, then our moms will find out when I'm about a month along since they're coming to visit us here. If we hit the jackpot in September instead, then they might just get to see the pee-stick









Our moms are awesome and supportive, so I think we'd definitely tell parents and maybe siblings right away. Everyone else will have to wait until we get home.


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## charliemae

Checking in:
The List: Can you remove my birthday infor please? Thanks!
















I've been posting on the NMY threads since the first one, back when I was 18. I keep coming back, but I haven't been able to keep up in a long time. I have a lot going on in my life right now (graduating college, recently engaged, moving out...) I am really missing the online community I had back when I was a regular poster. Best of all we will be TTC soon after the wedding (April '11)!







Some six years after coming to MDC and finding the NMYs I will be TTC.

I read the first few pages of this thread, and the last few, but I'm mosing planning on jumping in here and seeing if I stick with it or not.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *HerRoyallHighness* 
Here's another question: Do you announce to your family and close friends that you are TTC? Or will you wait until it happens?

My gut reaction is to not tell anyone until after the first trimester. Unfortunately I am a talker (as you may see reflected in my posts)







I don't know if I could keep a secret like that from my people. And I know my people couldn't keep it at all.

I think I need to do a little more soul searching with DF before a BFP.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Neuromancer* 
I'm of two minds about telling people. I know this is just a pre-pregnancy theory and that my actual in-the-moment decision could very likely be different, but I think I'd tell many people I feel close with in the first trimester. Mostly this is because I'd be really excited AND nervous. I'd want to talk about it. But in part, this is also because I'd like to help erase the stigma of miscarriage. *Of course, if I were to have a miscarriage I'm sure I would feel very complex emotions about it, including sadness I can't now imagine, but I also hope I would not feel ashamed. And if I had to tell people I had a miscarriage (or pass the message on through friends/family) I hope it would be another way to de-mystify (but not gloss over) this sad event that happens to so many people.*

*emphasis added*
I love this, it really resonated with me when I read it through. It's a complicated and emotionally charged decision for a lot of people wither to tell or not. My mind is still nowhere near made up about it, but I sure do appreciate women with this attitude. The idea of feelings of shame around a miscarriage strikes me as tragic and realistic, it would be hard to tell people.


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## oiseau

.


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## KaylaBeanie

Well, Monday afternoon I get my IUD put in, so I'll be here for a long time! It's good, because I am still in school, unmarried and don't want kids until my late 20's/early 30's. However, knowing that the opportunity for any "oops" kids is totally gone almost makes me a little sad. It's sometimes frustrating to see all the kids I went to high school with have babies and do everything wrong, when I know I'd do it all so much better. But then, I don't even want babies now, I just have terrible baby lust...ha. We women are complex beings.


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## charliemae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Charliemae-I took your b-day info down. (I think I've missed adding/updating some other people, but I'll go through the last few pages and get everything updated this weekend)

Welcome back and congrats on the engagement! This thread has been pretty slow moving for awhile so I hope you stick around!

Thanks! It looks pretty slow around here, which I greatly prefer to too fast really. One of the reasons I abandoned ship was because the NMY tribe grew beyond my comfort level. I made some life long friendships here in the past though, maybe some of my cohorts will check in at some point.









Quote:

I also really like that comment you highlighted from Neuromancer. I've pretty much always taken the attitude of not being ashamed of any health/body related issues and I find people to be really reassured by it. Talking about stuff takes the stigma out of it and normalizes things. I know I would be absolutely crushed if I miscarried, but I know I couldn't hide it because I'm also a talker, especially when things upset me. And in some small way, knowing that it's actually relatively common would soften the blow ever so slightly.

Yeah! Still, I file it under the "easier said then done" category for me.









Quote:

On a totally unrelated note, I'm down to 22 months until I'd feel 100% safe TTC after chemo! I feel slightly insane to be so excited I'm counting down by cycle/month








Sweet! It sounds like a count down worth being so excited for.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
But then, I don't even want babies now, I just have terrible baby lust...ha. We women are complex beings.

No kidding. What made you choose an IUD? I've always used condoms (or in my younger days Pull&Pray







) but I think an IUD would be the only BC I'd use if I ever felt the need.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charliemae* 
No kidding. What made you choose an IUD? I've always used condoms (or in my younger days Pull&Pray







) but I think an IUD would be the only BC I'd use if I ever felt the need.

Ha, it was kind of chosen for me! I tried several types of hormonal BC back in the day, and all it did was make me gain weight, depressed and killed any sex drive. I found a doctor willing to give me an IUD, but broke up with my long-term BF a week before the appointment so I cancelled it. Fast forward a year and a few months, I'm still painfully single







. However, I'm going on Accutane and it's a horrible, long, drawn out process. Part of the requirement is being on BC. I found out that my insurance totally covers the IUD, so I told my new obgyn that I was getting the IUD. He fought me, but once he realized that I knew the risks, he changed his tune. I'm the paranoid type that HAS to have 99% effective BC and I just can't deal with the hormones. My mom, grandma and aunt can't either, all of them had to use alternative methods. Grandma used the IUD, mom had my dad get a V, my aunt got a tubal. I doubt crazy sex is anytime in my future, but it's nice to know that I'm protected for the next ten years, so once I start dating again I won't have to be in a panic if the condom breaks or ahem, the moment comes up and no condoms are available. This is where I enter the disclaimer that I only sleep with STD-free certified guys and insist on using condoms unless it's a serious relationship


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## oiseau

OK, I think I updated everything for everyone who asked to have info added/removed. I also got to add 2 new grads and one new mama-to-be. I always enjoy updating those lists!

I think and IUD is probably the only long term BC I'd ever consider. I did really bad on the pill and my body has enough issues that I don't want to be messing with my hormones. Any of the male or female sterilization methods just creep me out. i don't think I'd ever want to give up the option to reproduce and I'd feel really uncomfortable if my partner did the same because so much can change in life and I don't like the permanence of the idea. (This will probably become an issue at some point...he can't wait til he can get a vasectomy).
I've heard a lot of positive things about the newer IUDs and everyone I know who has them has had a good experience. I don't think it'll even be on the table until we have kids already though, but it seems like a good option.


----------



## charliemae

The idea of hormonal BC has always really freaked me out. To the point that I used P&P for about three years because I hated condoms but wouldn't go on the pill.







DF and I use condoms exclusively now and have never had a problem. Of course I have also been of the mindset that if you choose, as a fertile person, to have sex then you should be prepared for an accidental pregnancy.









I am currently looking into/doing some detoxes and cleanses to get my body healthy and strong for life (and in anticipation of future baby growing). DF and I stopped eating pork and beef as well as drinking soda. Right now we are working to cut out HFCS from our diets. My whole life I have never eaten fruits or vegetables







So I ordered a juicer so I can start getting some good vitamins and live foods into my poor abused body. Anyone else working on this area of life right now?


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## charliemae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
OK, I think I updated everything for everyone who asked to have info added/removed. I also got to add 2 new grads and one new mama-to-be. I always enjoy updating those lists!









Thanks for doing that! I hate to wax sentimental about this stuff, but it really is nice that someones maintained it over time. RicosAlice (who wrote and is credited with much of the intro) is one of the ladies that I met in NMY. I consider her a close dear friend. It makes me smile to see that it's still being kept up.









P.s. maybe it's time for a summer thread? New threads are usually good to regenerate interest.


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## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charliemae* 
I am currently looking into/doing some detoxes and cleanses to get my body healthy and strong for life (and in anticipation of future baby growing). DF and I stopped eating pork and beef as well as drinking soda. Right now we are working to cut out HFCS from our diets. My whole life I have never eaten fruits or vegetables







So I ordered a juicer so I can start getting some good vitamins and live foods into my poor abused body. Anyone else working on this area of life right now?

I became vegetarian in October 2009, without even thinking about how good it would be for my body. Well, 8 months on and it's the best thing I ever did for myself! It makes me really happy to know that I'll have several years of clean eating under my belt when I do get pregnant, and that I'll have such a healthy lifestyle firmly in place when I'm nursing and raising a family. Now all I have to do is find a veggie boyfriend and make him my veggie husband


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 

-What kind of birth are you hoping for? Water, home, home water, hospital, etc?

-Any more name ideas?

-Where do you want to live/where do you live?

-How many kiddos do you want, and does anyone plan to adopt?

I was reading through the rest of this thread, and decided to answer these questions.









1. Home, with a midwife, maybe in water. My husband and I don't have a place to live back in the U.S. yet, and we have always lived in co-ops. A home birth in a co-op might be a little weird. Our insurance also doesn't cover homebirth or midwives, and requires birth at the hospital in town that is most-hated by moms. He's a grad student, and I'll be whatever job I can find in January, so I'm not sure if we'll be able to afford the $2700 that the midwife charges!

2. For a while I wanted Cole for a boy and Tera for a girl. It's entomology-related and I'm a total nerd.







I still love those, but Cole seems to be getting common. Also, Scandinavian names are the tradition on my mom's side of the fam, and I'd really love to follow it. I'm currently in love with Astrid for a girl, but the hubs doesn't like it and won't say why. This name has also influenced my midwife choice. There's one in town who's a bit famous (and the others used to work for her) who has a dog named Astrid. I don't care how famous she is. I'm going to another one.









3. We're in SW China now, Madison in the U.S. Once hubs gets his PhD, I have no idea where we'll be. I hope for warm and bike-friendly, but will settle for temperate and bike-friendly.

4. One can't help but want to adopt when one lives in China. I haven't been to an orphanage yet, but I am aware of the situation and would be happy as a clam to take one home with me! The current wait is so long though, that I don't know if I could stand it. We'll hit our 1-year anniversary while we're here, and that's the first requirement I think. I'd love more than one kid, but I don't know about actually producing more than one. The eco-guilt might tear me apart.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
I'd love more than one kid, but I don't know about actually producing more than one. The eco-guilt might tear me apart.

That's me, totally. If I were totally selfish and didn't care, I'd have five kids. I love babies and love kids. However, I also think it's important for me to have a career I love and to be able to support my children if something would ever happen to my DH/DP. The environmental impact is actually number one for me though. I'd love to have just one kid so that I could counteract overpopulation, but I'm so selfish that I know I'll want more. Short of divine intervention though, I just can't have more than two. Even the thought of two fills me with guilt.


----------



## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
New Zealand because, well, why not?! Also, because they have a really awesome vet school with a emphasis on food animals in a system that's not so awful, industrial agriculture, like in the US. Also, according to my boyfriend, they have tuataras (ancient lizards) and they filmed the Lord of the Rings there!! At this point, it looks like it probably won't happen until we have kids and said kids are in grade school. It's always fun to live in another country for awhile though (I lived in France for a year when I was 18).

I know a number of people that have gone to vet school in the Philippines. Cost of living and studying is low, and it's really ideal if you're into free-roaming lizards







The vet school is at UPLB in Los Banos, which is not super far from Manila. I've lived there twice for a total of 6 months.


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
See, I want a summer baby! I was born in August, and I love not having to share my big day with any holidays. My dad's birthday frequently falls on Father's Day, my mom's is the day before Valentine's Day and my sister's is a few days after Halloween. I get all of August to myself







Funny story, but when I lived in Hawaii, we never had school on my birthday since that's the day Hawaii became a state. It was pretty sweet. Plus, I love spring and summer clothes, and plan to show off my bump in bikinis (if I got pregnant at a different time, I'll just have to go to indoor pools to show it off







). It's the one time when everything is all stretched out without any belly rolls or anything, gotta take advantage of that!

Agreed! If things go according to the schedule in my brain, I'll have a baby in May, but there's a fairly good chance it will be later by at least a couple months. One cool thing about a summer baby is that it will be a few months old by the time the cold Wisconsin weather rolls around. I can't imagine having a newborn in all that snow. I think I'd just never leave the house. AND by the time the next summer rolls around, baby will be old enough to go in a bike seat or trailer. I ride my bike everywhere, so this is important to me.









Oh, and I just thought about foodstuff...depending how long food introduction is delayed, I could have local, organic asparagus as a first food. The baby might have to fight me for it, though.

I much prefer summer clothes. Winter always makes me feel frumpy.

KaylaBeanie: are we twins?


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
KaylaBeanie: are we twins?

Probably









I'm from Minnesota, and I soooo feel you on the winter thing with babies. That's part of the reason I plan to babywear, because nothing is more annoying than moms dragging in nasty snow with their huge, SUV sized stroller. Plus, having to always put baby in that big snowsuit...ughh. Do not want!

I'm also a true Minnesotan in that I hate whatever season it is. All winter long, I complain about how winter is the worst thing ever and I just want to move somewhere warm. Now that it's 95 degrees everyday, I long for cooler days.


----------



## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie* 
Probably








I'm also a true Minnesotan in that I hate whatever season it is. All winter long, I complain about how winter is the worst thing ever and I just want to move somewhere warm. Now that it's 95 degrees everyday, I long for cooler days.

I used to be the same way, but I think I just complain a lot in general. I made up my mind a few years ago to at least keep my mouth shut about the heat if I was miserable. I get cold easily, so damnit, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of summer! I'm just annoyed that it's so wet and cold where I am now. I spent my first 2 months in China in Kunming, which is known as the city of eternal spring. I loved it. Now in "Shangri-la" I'm much further from my little climate paradise! At least it's not snowing anymore...

How did this happen to a Michigan girl who moved to Wisconsin?


----------



## oiseau

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charliemae* 







Thanks for doing that! I hate to wax sentimental about this stuff, but it really is nice that someones maintained it over time. RicosAlice (who wrote and is credited with much of the intro) is one of the ladies that I met in NMY. I consider her a close dear friend. It makes me smile to see that it's still being kept up.









P.s. maybe it's time for a summer thread? New threads are usually good to regenerate interest.


I was thinking about starting the summer thread up soon. It shouldn't take me as long as last time since everything is updated now. I'll stick it on my list of things to do in the coming week.

I'm trying to get back to a healthy diet after being sick and living by the guidelines of eating whatever I wanted because usually only one thing appealed to me and I needed to keep up the calories. Right now our garden is doing a good job at keeping me eating a lot of leafy greens because they're just out in the backyard. I lean towards traditional foods as a dietary philosophy, along with Michael Pollan's "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." rules. We're already really good at no HFCS and no processed foods and we get all organic or grass fed meats. I just need to get back in the swing of meal planning and cooking so we aren't going out for less healthy food all the time or relying on Bell & Evans chicken fingers (best ever!!) all the time. I really want to cut sugar completely, but it's too scary (spoken like a true addict). I also really need to start supplementing with CLO and calcium. I use a future baby as a motivator for all of that, like, the sooner I start eating really healthy, the sooner I'll be ready to TTC. I'm not sick anymore, so I need to get moving.

I also loved your comment about the asparagus first food. That seems so fitting since it's one of the first crops of the spring! I'm hoping for a spring baby though, so unless I delayed solids til over 12mo, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'll end up pregnant and due in hot, miserable August or something though, in which case, it might work perfectly!


----------



## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
JlyGrnMigt- I totally got your Coleoptera reference. My fiance is really into entomology and it's pretty high up there on the list of fields he would have liked to go into (he's a herpetologist but also loves insects, dinosaurs and art). The first time we ever talked about baby names, his first suggestion was Hyla after the genus of tree frogs. (The first thing it made me think of was hymen, so I vetoed it for a first name at least...it's grown on me enough that I'd consider it for a middle name). Twins named Cole and Tera would be awesome!

Oh, I think Hyla is pretty. If there was an m in it, I'd be with you all the way, but I think it's pretty and different without being, like, an annoying misspelling of a popular name. If I was lucky enough to have twins, I don't think I'd be able to resist using Cole and Tera (or Ptera). Unfortunately, twins don't run in my family or my husband's.

Quote:

I also loved your comment about the asparagus first food. That seems so fitting since it's one of the first crops of the spring! I'm hoping for a spring baby though, so unless I delayed solids til over 12mo, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'll end up pregnant and due in hot, miserable August or something though, in which case, it might work perfectly!
I love love love asparagus, and I hate that I missed out on it this year. That's exactly what I was thinking with the first crop. I know even super crunchy parents who have introduced food at 4 months, so I wonder how hard it is to hold out for a long time. My mom makes a tasty creamed asparagus too, and it's just going on my list of things to gf-ify and cook when I get back home. Not being able to cook is wearing on me. I'm trying to eat healthy too, and it's hard when everything seems to drown in grease. The benefit of being in a tourist town is that I could pop over to one of the Indian restaurants last night and spend way too much for a huge bowl of delicious moong dal.

Quote:

I just finished reading a really interesting book about Chinese adoption (The Red Thread by Ann Hood) and I looked into the requirements out of curiosity. I found out in my research that I'm pretty much completely ineligible for international adoption from any country due to my health issues. I think domestic adoption is still a possibility and that is which way I was leaning anyway if we ever decide to adopt.
I will have to look that book up and see if I can get it on my Kindle. It sounds interesting. That sucks that you're not eligible...even after a few years? China's requirements seem ridiculous to me, though I know they're just trying to find a stable home. The anti-gay thing shouldn't surprise me in Asia anymore, but I still hate it. I am personally torn with domestic adoption. I'd love to help someone out in the U.S., but it seems like anyone given up for adoption is liable to be taken back by the birth parents, who are favored by law. Anyone who is involuntarily up for adoption comes with issues I'm not sure I could handle from day 1.


----------



## oiseau

.


----------



## KaylaBeanie

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Once you've had cancer, no one wants to let you adopt. Even if I'm years out without a relapse, it's still a no. Besides that, I've been treated for depression for way too long and that's a big no-no too. I was thinking the other day that if I end up having trouble conceiving a baby on my own due to the cancer treatment, I'd be really screwed if I had to go the adoption route, even if the depression wasn't an issue. Seems pretty unfair for a young cancer survivor. I'm just hoping it doesn't ever come to that though.











My sister and I decided that we would surro for each other in case one of us suffered from infertility. I'm sending (future) fertile vibes your way though...I hope that you have a dozen big, healthy babies if that's what you want


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## charliemae

*Adoption:*

I've done some research on adoption and the things I found weren't all pretty. There are a lot of good people doing wonderful things out there, but be aware that there are bad ones too. Adoption is a real industry with a lot of money changing hands.

We've talked a lot about adopting through the foster care system. I have a soft spot for helping out more locally anyways so it suits me. I'd like to adopt a child from my community if possible. We've also talked a bit about adopting sibling groups or a child with special needs. I don't think we'll adopt until we are done having Bio kids, but I don't really know









I want a lot of babies







I really really do. I want a family full of wonderful little people who I can watch grow.







DF wants 2 or 3. I'm working on taking a "one at a time" mindset. But I really really want a lot of kids.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I was thinking about starting the summer thread up soon. It shouldn't take me as long as last time since everything is updated now. I'll stick it on my list of things to do in the coming week.











Quote:

I'm trying to get back to a healthy diet after being sick and living by the guidelines of eating whatever I wanted because usually only one thing appealed to me and I needed to keep up the calories. Right now our garden is doing a good job at keeping me eating a lot of leafy greens because they're just out in the backyard. I lean towards traditional foods as a dietary philosophy, along with Michael Pollan's "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." rules. We're already really good at no HFCS and no processed foods and we get all organic or grass fed meats. I just need to get back in the swing of meal planning and cooking so we aren't going out for less healthy food all the time or relying on Bell & Evans chicken fingers (best ever!!) all the time. I really want to cut sugar completely, but it's too scary (spoken like a true addict). I also really need to start supplementing with CLO and calcium. I use a future baby as a motivator for all of that, like, the sooner I start eating really healthy, the sooner I'll be ready to TTC. I'm not sick anymore, so I need to get moving.
I totally agree! I think that it's best to take a more whole foods approach to eating. Now I'm wondering though what kind of supplements others are taking?

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I also loved your comment about the asparagus first food. That seems so fitting since it's one of the first crops of the spring! I'm hoping for a spring baby though, so unless I delayed solids til over 12mo, it probably wouldn't work. With my luck, I'll end up pregnant and due in hot, miserable August or something though, in which case, it might work perfectly!
First foods I have heard highly recommended are egg yokes, or avocado. I love avocado as a first food, it's got a lot of great things for babies. Also IFAIK it's a very unlikely allergen.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
I love love love asparagus, and I hate that I missed out on it this year. That's exactly what I was thinking with the first crop. *I know even super crunchy parents who have introduced food at 4 months*, so I wonder how hard it is to hold out for a long time. My mom makes a tasty creamed asparagus too, and it's just going on my list of things to gf-ify and cook when I get back home. Not being able to cook is wearing on me. I'm trying to eat healthy too, and it's hard when everything seems to drown in grease. The benefit of being in a tourist town is that I could pop over to one of the Indian restaurants last night and spend way too much for a huge bowl of delicious moong dal.

This is one of the things I plan on being very inflexible on. No solids before 6 months. In my child development classes it became very clear that infants are not ready to digest anything other then milk (or formula).

Even at 6 months most of the "eating" is just going to be exploring things with their mouths. They still need most of their nutrition from BM.









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I am personally torn with domestic adoption. I'd love to help someone out in the U.S., but it seems like anyone given up for adoption is liable to be taken back by the birth parents, who are favored by law. Anyone who is involuntarily up for adoption comes with issues I'm not sure I could handle from day 1.
Once a child is up for adoption the parental rights have been severed. If you foster then the hope is that the kids will end up back with their families. If you are adopting they will only place children that are legally free to be adopted.
Emotional issues are another thing altogether. I haven't figured out yet what I want to do about all of that. Adoption is always an emotionally complicated situation though, no matter what channels you go through.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Once you've had cancer, no one wants to let you adopt. Even if I'm years out without a relapse, it's still a no. Besides that, I've been treated for depression for way too long and that's a big no-no too. I was thinking the other day that if I end up having trouble conceiving a baby on my own due to the cancer treatment, I'd be really screwed if I had to go the adoption route, even if the depression wasn't an issue. Seems pretty unfair for a young cancer survivor. I'm just hoping it doesn't ever come to that though.

Do you know what your chances are of having trouble? I think that it's a normal thing that most women worry about, at least I do. I know that my mom had a lot of problems TTC my older brother and that's always made me uneasy about my own fertility. I don't know much about it at all, just that there are a lot of options now-a-days.

*MeMeMe*
I have one of my last three classes every tomorrow! I graduate on Sunday

















































:ca rrot


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charliemae* 

I totally agree! I think that it's best to take a more whole foods approach to eating. Now I'm wondering though what kind of supplements others are taking?

I take a multi (not prenatal because I didn't pack them) and an acidophilus pearl. I'm using the Rainbow Light One-A-Day, which I think is food-based. I eat much healthier in the U.S. than I do hear, so I'm glad I brought these with me.

Quote:

First foods I have heard highly recommended are egg yokes, or avocado. I love avocado as a first food, it's got a lot of great things for babies. Also IFAIK it's a very unlikely allergen.
I've read this too, but I'll be in Wisconsin...not exactly local, though I love avocadoes. I think it would have to be a sometimes food. Yolks...yuck!








I don't think I've ever heard of an asparagus allergy either, so maybe it will work. It's pretty high in B vitamins too iirc.

Quote:

This is one of the things I plan on being very inflexible on. No solids before 6 months. In my child development classes it became very clear that infants are not ready to digest anything other then milk (or formula).

Even at 6 months most of the "eating" is just going to be exploring things with their mouths. They still need most of their nutrition from BM.








I was surprised when my friends started their baby so early. She sprouted teeth quickly and they let her scrape them against an apple cut in half. In reality she was probably just getting juice, but they moved on to other raw things after a few weeks. I'm pretty sure she's still being bf'd at 2 years old, and she didn't get cooked foods until about 1.5. Anyway, I agree with you. I'd want to wait at least 6 or 7 months I think. I have a feeling my boobs will work just fine









Quote:

Once a child is up for adoption the parental rights have been severed. If you foster then the hope is that the kids will end up back with their families. If you are adopting they will only place children that are legally free to be adopted.
I thought I had read something about a mother coming back after a few years and she had quit the drugs and had a good job and managed to get the kid back in court. Maybe the child was just in the foster system, but it still seemed like it wasn't actually in the best interest of the kid.

Quote:

*MeMeMe*
I have one of my last three classes every tomorrow! I graduate on Sunday

















































:ca rrot








congrats! What program are you graduating from?


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## oiseau

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## charliemae

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
I take a multi (not prenatal because I didn't pack them) and an acidophilus pearl. I'm using the Rainbow Light One-A-Day, which I think is food-based. I eat much healthier in the U.S. than I do hear, so I'm glad I brought these with me.

I probably should start a multi and a prenatal. I just have trouble because I don't want to choose the "wrong" brand







. Right now I am taking more pills for detox affects then supplements. I take psyllium husks and activated charcoal for a colon cleanse, and I am just finishing up a parasite cleanse with black walnut hall tenure, red cloves, and worm wood. They are the first cleanses of any kind I've done and it's been interesting. I know I'm not getting the best results for my efforts because I haven't changed my eating habits as much as is recommended.









I'm planning on doing a vit. C flush with sodium ascorbate in a few days. I want start taking it as a supplement after that. The flush helps to calculate the dose. I've known about the benefits of this kind of Vit. C for years but this will be the first time I'm trying it myself.

Quote:

I've read this too, but I'll be in Wisconsin...not exactly local, though I love avocadoes. I think it would have to be a sometimes food. Yolks...yuck!







I don't think I've ever heard of an asparagus allergy either, so maybe it will work. It's pretty high in B vitamins too iirc.
Oh gees, I wasn't even thinking about local







I really like the idea of the first food being seasonal and local...hmmm. I do worry about allergies for some reason (idk why, I worry about a lot of things







).

Quote:

I was surprised when my friends started their baby so early. She sprouted teeth quickly and they let her scrape them against an apple cut in half. In reality she was probably just getting juice, but they moved on to other raw things after a few weeks. I'm pretty sure she's still being bf'd at 2 years old, and she didn't get cooked foods until about 1.5. Anyway, I agree with you. I'd want to wait at least 6 or 7 months I think. I have a feeling my boobs will work just fine








What most appeals to me (allergies aside) is going with the flow at the time. When they are reaching for a food and they want to stick it in their mouths (and they are old enough IMO) then I will probably just let them. Ideally papa and I will be eating mostly raw good foods at that point anyways







. If that fails then I'm still partial to avocados









Quote:

I thought I had read something about a mother coming back after a few years and she had quit the drugs and had a good job and managed to get the kid back in court. Maybe the child was just in the foster system, but it still seemed like it wasn't actually in the best interest of the kid.
I'd guess there are horror stories with any route you choose to build a family. I hope that wont stop you completely from looking into it as an option someday.









With the foster system the goal is pretty much always to reunite families. DF and I have talked about fostering in the next year or so if our lives our stable. It's hard because you really have to believe that being with the bio family is always in the best interest of the child. There are two VERY polarized sides to that debate (as I'm sure you can imagine). All you'd have to do to see them is to hang around the adoption boards here.

Quote:

congrats! What program are you graduating from?
Thanks!
My program was a double major in Early Childhood Development and Elementary Education.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
The chemo I had has about a 20% chance of causing infertility. I'm really not worried though because my cycle stayed relatively normal throughout treatment. It was sometimes a bit longer than normal, but for the most part, it was the same as it's always been and it's continued to stay that way since I finished chemo. I won't know til we try though, but I'm not anticipating any problems.

That is good to hear, I'm glad you are not worried. I hope we're still in touch when you start TTC, what an exciting journey!









Quote:

My biggest concern is actually about the radiation to my chest. They tried to block as much breast tissue as they could, but my breasts were still partially in the treatment field. There's a chance that could cause problems for breastfeeding, but again, we won't know until I try to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is something that is SO important to me (and my fiance) so it terrifies us both that I might have problems. *I think I'm just going to be prepared to do as much as possible to make it happen and if we run into problems, I'll hunt down donor milk and a SNS*.








it's great to be chatting with well educated/researched like-minded ladies again!


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## oiseau

.


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Charliemae* 
I probably should start a multi and a prenatal. I just have trouble because I don't want to choose the "wrong" brand







. Right now I am taking more pills for detox affects then supplements. I take psyllium husks and activated charcoal for a colon cleanse, and I am just finishing up a parasite cleanse with black walnut hall tenure, red cloves, and worm wood. They are the first cleanses of any kind I've done and it's been interesting. I know I'm not getting the best results for my efforts because I haven't changed my eating habits as much as is recommended.









The Prenatal version of Rainbow light is pretty highly regarded on these boards, but I didn't know that until last week.







I was taking the Trader Joe's brand of women's vitamins, and started looking around on LuckyVitamin.com for something similar. Turns out, Rainbow Light makes it







I think it was $12 for a 90 day supply at Trader Joe's, and even cheaper if you buy it at lucky vitamin. I bought it in 150-pill jars. The prenatal, alas, is more expensive.

Quote:









it's great to be chatting with well educated/researched like-minded ladies again!








Agreed! I think I wandered away last time because it was preventing me from pushing the babymaking desires out of my head. It was so far away at that time that I had to push it away to keep my sanity. It was really hard for me seeing much younger women able to take that step...not that I wasn't happy for them, but I was sad for myself. Now it's closer, and I feel justified in letting it take over my life again! I love that we're all unique and committed to doing what it takes to make/raise a healthy kid. My child-free friends are awesome (not the jerky type) but they don't get it. My non-child-free friends, well, most of them already have a kid.


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## KaylaBeanie

BFing is insanely important to me too! I'll do everything short of animal sacrifice to make sure I make it two years, and hope to make it at least three. I actually haven't thought of what I'd do if I couldn't for some reason...hopefully one of my sisters would be lactating and would pump 1/2 supply for me so that bub wouldn't get all formula. I just have a weird hangup about donor milk from non-relatives, which is ironic since I hope to donate through milkshare when the day comes that I'm nursing. Plus, as a vegetarian it would hardcore creep me out to have my kid get milk from an omni-mama. Realistically though, I'm not worried. My grandma didn't nurse at all but gushed milk all day, every day for six weeks. My mom got those shots to dry her milk up (dumb ancient military doctors told her there was no point in BFing







) and STILL got a lot of milk in. Family history looks good, and I have normal breasts and everything. Oh, and my gyno told me I had a great, perfect uterus. Haha.


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
I'm almost even determined enough not to feed my kids formula that I'd pay crazy amounts of money for donor milk if I had to. Besides the health benefits, I'm just totally grossed out by formula smell, formula puke and formula poo.

Well, I'll certainly donate some if I can. I just read the wiki on milk banks. I had no idea it was so widespread, but I'm glad. I have a friend who can't bf her baby because of a medication she can't stop taking...I wonder if she ever looked into donor milk.

Quote:

The mom who writes one of the blogs I read is my hero because she bfed through a horrible breast infection, abcess, surgery and a months long recovery with a gaping wound close enough to her nipple that it got reopened nearly every time she fed her daughter. I figure that if she can breastfeed through all that, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to resort to any and all means possible to breastfeed my babies.
Dang. What would happen if you just stopped feeding on one side? Would it affect milk production overall, or would just that one breast stop producing?
That is inspiring though. I heard that my cousin was going to breastfeed "if she could", and bought her a copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for her shower. I was hoping it would make her more committed. I think she partially bf'd for a few weeks before switching over to formula. *sigh*


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## JlyGrnMigt

I think you ladies will appreciate this...

I downloaded a book for my Kindle a few days ago called "The Prospective Mother". As it turns out, it's a nearly 100-year-old pregnancy manual. I only read the first chapter, but it was amusing to read that the surest way to know you are pregnant is to feel the baby kick.









Oh, how far we've come to be able to pee on a stick...


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## oiseau

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
I think you ladies will appreciate this...

I downloaded a book for my Kindle a few days ago called "The Prospective Mother". As it turns out, it's a nearly 100-year-old pregnancy manual. I only read the first chapter, but it was amusing to read that the surest way to know you are pregnant is to feel the baby kick.









Oh, how far we've come to be able to pee on a stick...

That sounds awesome! Do you know if it's available in a non-Kindle version for those of us lacking e-readers? I have a pregnancy/parenting book from the 50's and another one that was given to my mother in 1983 when she was pregnant with me. I also have an obstetrics text book from 1950 that's totally awesome, albeit gory and scary. It's amazing to see how things have changed....and not changed...


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## JlyGrnMigt

http://books.google.com.hk/books?id=...page&q&f=false

That's the google books link (via Hong Kong), and the project gutenburg link to download is: www.gutenberg.org/etext/7129

You can download a program free from amazon to read e-books. They have Kindle for Windows, Kindle for Mac, Kindle for iPhone, Blackberry, etc. I'm pretty sure they also support the non-kindle filetypes, since the Kindle itself does.

You MIGHT be able to find it in a university library somewhere, but my guess is that not too many copies are preserved.

I'd be interested in taking a look at the ones you have too. It's like, 100 years ago, 60 years ago, 30 years ago...


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 

You MIGHT be able to find it in a university library somewhere, but my guess is that not too many copies are preserved.

And I'm immediately proving myself wrong: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/111...NF2QEA78TZV8AQ

Of course, a free program plus a free download might be better if you don't plan to curl up with it, but you do have both options. The free version is also on amazon if you search.


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## oiseau

I actually just googled it right after I posted that message and found it on google books, so I'm just reading it online. I made it through the first chapter and then just skimmed the rest quickly before bed last night. Very interesting! I can't wait to read the rest this weekend. I need to get the 50's parenting book back from my friend, but when I do, I might scan some of the pics to share. It had a lot of really funny and/or disturbing photos. It also had one really beautiful photo of a nursing mother.


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## oiseau

Here's a link to a thread about a later version of one of the books I have. My edition is 1953 I think and is slightly different, but pretty much the same as the edition described there: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=463305

I'm seeing my friend this weekend and I'll get my book back from her and scan some of the pics.


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## bubbledumpster

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
I think you ladies will appreciate this...

I downloaded a book for my Kindle a few days ago called "The Prospective Mother". As it turns out, it's a nearly 100-year-old pregnancy manual. I only read the first chapter, but it was amusing to read that the surest way to know you are pregnant is to feel the baby kick.









Oh, how far we've come to be able to pee on a stick...


That's awesome! I just found a hippie manual called "The Home Health Handbook", self-published in 1971 Vermont. I got it at a thrift store for $.25, and I was so excited when I saw it had three whole sections on childbirth in addition to all the down-home earthy advice with chapter titles like "Sanitation for Small Rural Groups" and "Safe Canning (And Freezing)" and "The Commune Medic's Guide". This stuff just tickles me pink, I can't wait to get to the point in my life where I can start my own little homestead.


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## JlyGrnMigt

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oiseau* 
Here's a link to a thread about a later version of one of the books I have. My edition is 1953 I think and is slightly different, but pretty much the same as the edition described there: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=463305

I'm seeing my friend this weekend and I'll get my book back from her and scan some of the pics.

That sounds cool. I'd definitely like to see some of the pics. I was also thinking that I could start the new thread if you want. I've never done it before, but I can't imagine it's too hard. No reason the "burden" should be all on you!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bubbledumpster* 
That's awesome! I just found a hippie manual called "The Home Health Handbook", self-published in 1971 Vermont. I got it at a thrift store for $.25, and I was so excited when I saw it had three whole sections on childbirth in addition to all the down-home earthy advice with chapter titles like "Sanitation for Small Rural Groups" and "Safe Canning (And Freezing)" and "The Commune Medic's Guide". This stuff just tickles me pink, I can't wait to get to the point in my life where I can start my own little homestead.

That sounds pretty cool, especially for a quarter! Be careful with the canning/freezing advice. That sort of stuff gets updated frequently and it's best to see if your County Extension office has a publication out (usually cheap or free) or buy a more recent book. I do not want you to have botulism in your beans


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## oiseau

I did it!! Summer/Fall thread!! Come on over!!!


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## Neuromancer

Oops! I'll cross-post this to the new thread.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JlyGrnMigt* 
I think you ladies will appreciate this...

I downloaded a book for my Kindle a few days ago called "The Prospective Mother". As it turns out, it's a nearly 100-year-old pregnancy manual. I only read the first chapter, but it was amusing to read that the surest way to know you are pregnant is to feel the baby kick.









Oh, how far we've come to be able to pee on a stick...

I decided to record this book (it's in the public domain) for the good people over at Librivox. If you're not familiar with them, they use volunteer, amateur readers (anyone who wants to) to create free audio books of books in the public domain.

I've only recorded the preface, introduction, and first chapter so far, but you can listen to it as an audio book if you can handle my unprofessional sound set-up (there's some computer hiss on parts of the tracks). http://librivox.org/newcatalog/publi...ProjectID=4410


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