# Sugar self-regulation UPDATED first post with results



## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

I'm very curious about letting a child self-regulate food - especially treats and such. If DD had her way she would eat nothing but ice cream all day, and I'm too afraid to see if she would eventually self-regulate or if it would become a sugar/ice cream addiction. So currently we don't have ice cream in the house. I'm trying to get an idea of how allowing them to self-regulate or not in childhood affects adult food choices and health.

Please choose an option for when you were a child and an option for you as an adult.

This should be an anoymous poll if I got it right (this is my first attempt at a poll)

SUMMARY OF RESULTS SO FAR:

1. Of the people who had NO regulation as children:

42% have no trouble self-regulating as adults
8% have to regulate themselves
50% can't regulate treat consumption and it causes them problems

2. Of the people who had partial regulation as children:

39% have no trouble self-regulating as adults
50% have to regulate themselves
11% can't regulate treat consumption and it causes them problems

3. Of the people who had very strict control over treats as children:

20% have no trouble self-regulating as adults
0% have to regulate themselves
80% can't regulate treat consumption and it causes them problems


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

I feel like as a kid the way "treats" were limited was that they weren't in the house all the time. We didn't get store bought cookies and stuff, only homemade. My mom definetly had trouble with sugar so she would limit it or she would eat it all. I don't keep lots of "treats" in the house all the time. If they are here I eat them, if they are not here I do sometimes go buy some. Dp is way worse than me. I don't know what we'll do when DS gets older. I guess we'll try not to have tons of stuff in the house so its not freely available.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

I checked that treats were partially regulated but most of that was because I'm from a large family. Once 10 people have a portion, whatever it was was usually gone. We were not limited in how we handled consuming our Halloween treats or Easter basket contents. We could have seconds of dessert if there was enough. We could have all the Christmas cookies that were served as dessert as we wanted. We had desserts most nights. We could spend our allowance on candy.

I feel having those things not strictly limited really helped me self regulate as an adult.

I remember realizing, at about age 12, that if I really wanted a donut or a candy bar that I could go buy one at any time from one of the stores within walking distance. That made me feel able to not eat something simply because it was available because I realized it was _always_ available so I could postpone it until I _really_ wanted it (and I would keep thinking I didn't want it that badly and kept postponing it because I did have a good understanding of health and nutrition.)


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie* 
I'm very curious about letting a child self-regulate food - especially treats and such. If DD had her way she would eat nothing but ice cream all day, and I'm too afraid to see if she would eventually self-regulate or if it would become a sugar/ice cream addiction. So currently we don't have ice cream in the house. I'm trying to get an idea of how allowing them to self-regulate or not in childhood affects adult food choices and health.

What I have observed with not regulating my ds with such things as ice cream is that the first day we have it, he will eat it almost exclusively. The second day he will eat a fair bit. the third day he will ask for it but won't actually eat more than a couple bites. If we don't have ice cream for a long period, this cycle will repeat. If we keep it in the house, he'll just have a serving now and then (and maybe for breakfast but, hey, it has a low glycemic index so there are worse choices).


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

It kind of sounds like if the environment you were in as a child naturally self-regulated the treats (e.g. large family, or not enough money to buy frequent treats, or whatever) then as an adult we're pretty good about naturally self-regulating.

But maybe if it was perceived by the child as a control thing (they weren't allowed to have treats purely because the parent said no) then as an adult there is an overreaction to that. Maybe.

I realized I made a mistake in my poll in that I can't see the correlation between who chose what in childhood and how it is in adulthood. Doh. Well maybe if people feel like elaborating that would help me. Thanks for your responses so far!


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie* 
But maybe if it was perceived by the child as a control thing (they weren't allowed to have treats purely because the parent said no) then as an adult there is an overreaction to that. Maybe.

Makes sense to me. My mom thinks she overeats because she was not breastfed on demand as an infant (she was breastfed on a schedule). I was breastfed on demand. I overeat when I am tired which is a pretty natural response to being tired and trying to stay stimulated and awake. I also overeat when I'm frustrated but not so much when I'm depressed.

I did go through a few tummy aches at potlucks or Thanksgiving because there was so many yummy things to taste but after a few times, I learned to take tiny spoonfuls to taste and go back for what I liked instead of eating a full portion of every mediocre thing and _then_ going back for seconds.


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## kacymoose (May 18, 2008)

I don't remember being regulated as a kid. I was super skinny as a kid and could eat as much as I wanted. However, I have a bad time regulating myself as an adult. I think this stems from my step mom having poor body image and she was constantly regulating her own intake (always on a diet). When I got to be older, my metabolism slowed and suddenly I found I couldn't eat whatever I wanted any longer without gaining weight. That is when my idea of having to regulate my intake kicked in because that is what I saw my step-mom do. As a result, I have been off and on diets for the last 20 years - and I am still overweight.

So there is a curve ball for you.....


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## SundayCrepes (Feb 15, 2008)

We had no limits on sugar. Usually 5 to 7 sugar servings a day--including breakfast and in my school lunch. I have terrible sugar problems.

When I got married, my husband brought a 5 and a 7 year old to our marriage. The girl had horrible sugar problems. My husband has many obese siblings. Having an obese mother myself and sugar problems myself, I set limits on the kids. They could have 1 sugar food a day. They could choose what it was and when it was as long as it didn't replace a meal. This seemed to work pretty well. They got to do some self-regulation but within limits we set.

Now we have a 2.5 year old. The only "treats" he gets are smoothies (made with plain, not frozen yogurt when we're home.) He is also allowed to have scones as long as they don't have frosting on them. On a recent trip to San Francisco we allowed him to have sticky rice with mangos. This week we picked peaches and made a pie out of them. It's not very sweet. He was allowed to have a bit of that.

When he gets older we will not be able to say no to sugar foods. Given my problems, we don't keep much in our house, anyway. I hope we can allow him to totally self-regulate. However, if we find it a problem we will institute the one sugar a day rule.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mybabysmama* 
We had no limits on sugar. Usually 5 to 7 sugar servings a day--including breakfast and in my school lunch. I have terrible sugar problems.

It kind of sounds like you weren't allowed to self-regulate, because the only things offered to you had sugar in them, so you couldn't listen to your body because listening to your body meant you would go hungry. Does that sound like a possibility?

I hadn't thought of that... but that's how the neighbors are raising their (very overweight) 5 year old; she's only ever offered sweetened drinks and sweetened breakfast cereal, etc, and doesn't have any other options, really.


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## Kira's mom (Nov 30, 2004)

This is really of interest to me. My mom always had candy or sweets accessible to me and I have no prob w/ that stuff. Don't get me wrong I LOVE dessert. DD wants ice cream every day. We do regulate sweets , stressing that it's just not good all the time. DD is 5, I think i was more like 8 when I was making my own choices......


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## WhaleinGaloshes (Oct 9, 2006)

I voted:

_Sugary treats were freely available when I was a child;

As an adult, I have no problem eating healthy and easily choose healthy foods over unhealthy ones_

I think it's accurate to say that there was self-regulation of sugar when I was kid. I imagine someone would have stepped in had we gone too far, but we really ate whatever we wanted, whenever. I never remember having a conversation about treats and how much we could have. We did have ice cream and snacks in the house all the time, not really candy until I started buying it myself at age 11 or 12.

As an adult, I feel I eat a healthy diet overall. I do have little binges I indulge from time to time, but I wouldn't choose anything different.


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## SundayCrepes (Feb 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie* 
It kind of sounds like you weren't allowed to self-regulate, because the only things offered to you had sugar in them, so you couldn't listen to your body because listening to your body meant you would go hungry. Does that sound like a possibility?

No, there was plenty of other food in the house. Usually fruit for snacks. My dad ate cereal for breakfast and my mom often made my brother waffles for breakfast, but I didn't like those foods. Usually leftovers in the fridge that could have been easily heated. We really had no restrictions on what we ate or when we ate it. I liked (and still like) the taste of sugary foods. So does my mom, though I don't keep much, if any, in my house. Her pantry has tons of sweet choices. She is obese, I am not.

Typical childhood daily sugar consumption:

Breakfast: frozen hostess cupcakes

lunch: Suzy Q's along with sandwich, etc.

after school: pepsi plus ice cream or chips

after dinner: a couple pepsis plus ice cream or chips

lots of small frozen milky way or snicker bars throughout day.

What is interesting to me is that we also watched TV almost constantly, When I moved out of my parents' at 18 I stopped watching TV but continued with the food challenges. TV and sugar were out of control when I was a child. One issue haunts and challenges me to this day, the other I'm simply not interested in. My grandfather was an alcoholic. Food addictions are similar to alcohol addictions. I wonder if my food cravings are habit or genetic (or both.)

Also, we don't put any restrictions on what our kids can eat. Our 2.5 year old is always getting in the fridge or cupboards and helping himself. However, since all he has access to is healthy food, it's not an issue. We actually figure it's better to graze when you're hungry than not eat until later. We still eat designated meals, but we're just not hung up on snacks since all he can eat is healthy. We figure the healthy body craves the nutrients it needs, so let him get those nutrients. We recently discovered larabars. Dates, cashews, and maybe dried fruits. We call them candy bars and he loves them. Hope he gets past his current obsession with them (he often eats one a day) since they're expensive. Mainly he snacks on fruit and sometimes cheese throughout the day.


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## chi_mama (May 25, 2008)

I answered partially regulated, I also came from a large family on a tight budget so deserts, candy, treat ect never lasted long.

I answered as an adult I have no problem eating healthy food

.... but, as an older child/teenager (once I was able to purchase my own candy and treats) I went completely wild. I would eat bags of candy, giant candy bars, whole pints of ice cream in one sitting. Yuck... and so I learned


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## straighthaircurly (Dec 17, 2005)

My parents never had total bans on anything and didn't even limit things very much, but they did provide some guidelines like not eating sweets before a meal and continuously educating us and discussing healthy eating choices. I think the best thing they did for us was model good eating choices and did not stock the house with junk food. We usually had a few treats available for dessert but never many chips or candy or other junky food available for snacks.

As an adult I eat better than most people I know. We generally don't have dessert but might eat a little ice cream before bed. When I met my DH he could not put a pint of ice cream back in the freezer, once the lid came off it was a goner. But he has learned to control that now.

Even our DS is very willing to follow set limits on candy snacks and doesn't beg for sweet treats at home very often (usually because there aren't any). He will beg for candy at stores and we do allow it at times or if someone offers it to him at a store or event.

I met someone recently who had a total ban on all candy for her kids. I can't really imagine doing that, it seems better to pound home messages of moderation and learning how to manage balance in their diets. Otherwise I feel like it just gives treats more power when you impose a total ban.


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## straighthaircurly (Dec 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mybabysmama* 

We recently discovered larabars. Dates, cashews, and maybe dried fruits. We call them candy bars and he loves them. Hope he gets past his current obsession with them (he often eats one a day) since they're expensive. Mainly he snacks on fruit and sometimes cheese throughout the day.

It is easy to make the LaraBars yourself in a food processor. There is a recipe in one of the MDC forums that had a simple recipe for them I tried to find the link but couldn't (I just have a print out in my recipe binder). But basically you just grind nuts of your choice until very fine and oil has been released. Then you add chopped dates and some cinnamon, nutmeg and/or other spices to taste and chop until it all kind of comes together in a ball in the processor. Then you roll it out between layers of wax paper, cut bars and package them individually or between layers of wax paper inn an airtight container in the fridge. Very yummy and definitely cheaper.


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## Kama82 (Mar 12, 2006)

There was always plenty of sugar and junk food available in my house. We were encouraged not to worry about our health and to indulge in sugary snacks whenever we wanted. We all had a big bowl of ice cream together every night with lots of toppings. I guess it was a fun ritual but I have had weight problems my whole life and I wish my junk food intake had been regulated.

If there is junk food in the house (especially chips) I have a really hard time not eating it.


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

When I was growing up treats were a once-in-a-while thing. If we had them in the house we could eat them, but most of the time there just wasn't junk food in the house. My mom didn't buy sugary cereals (except on very rare occasions), and we only had dessert when we had company. It was aways the joke in our house that if my mom was baking something I'd ask her who was coming for dinner. I never felt that I was denied treats, but I did grow up understanding that they weren't for everyday. Today I can enjoy the occasional treat without obsessing about fat and calories or consuming to the point of nausea and I hope my kids will be able to do the same. Nowadays a treat is a homemade popscicle made with plain yogurt and pureed fruit.


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## zoshamosha (Apr 15, 2006)

Sugar wasn't restricted when I was a kid. I could go to the store freely to buy candy bars, ice cream, etc...

These days I do indulge in treats, sometimes more often than not, but I feel in control. I usually eat very healthily.


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## ma_vie_en_rose (Jun 7, 2008)

I could have treats anytime I wanted growing up. I do have to limit myself as an adult. I am health conscious, so it isn't a huge issue. I mainly do not buy any kind of treats or junk. On occasion, I will make special treats for the kids, and they really think they are special occasion type things. kwim DH on the other hand has major sugar issues. He keeps it out of the house, but he overindulges when he is out.


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## Hannahsmummy (Oct 12, 2006)

This is a really really big issue for me.

I am overweight and I have food addiction issues. I am working through this and I know where it comes from. I have major trouble self regulating because it's always (irrationally) in my mind that I may never get a chance to have have that chocolate, ice cream, fries, chips, whatever again.

I grew up in a house with a mother who had major food issues. She classifies all food as either good or bad. She is a perfect weight for her height and age and at most has been (in the past) 10-15 pounds over ideal weight. She constantly diets and takes anything that she can get her hands on the regulate her weight.

As a child we had absolutely no treats in the house. A special dessert might be ice cream on rare occasions. There wasn't anything kept in the house and even pop was only kept in the locked liquor cabinet for mixing drinks.

I am doing the opposite for my daughter. She is 5, loves food (I am a former chef and own a baking business now), loves cooking and will eat anything. She eats very healthy meals and snacks but has access to treats if she wants them. I do expect her to have healthy meals and that's what she gets, no processed foods and loads of fruits, veggies and grains. She is allowed dessert if she wants and can have treats throughout the day if she likes.
She is completely self regulating, will refuse dessert if full and will stop eating a treat if she's had enough. She will also happily choose something more healthy if she's not feeling like a treat.


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## Night_Nurse (Nov 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hannahsmummy* 
... I have major trouble self regulating because it's always (irrationally) in my mind that I may never get a chance to have have that chocolate, ice cream, fries, chips, whatever again...

I am doing the opposite for my daughter... She eats very healthy meals and snacks but has access to treats if she wants them...
She is completely self regulating, will refuse dessert if full and will stop eating a treat if she's had enough. She will also happily choose something more healthy if she's not feeling like a treat.

This is my story exactly.

When I was around 8 a doctor told my mom I could no longer have sugar because I had "low blood sugar". My mom refused to allow me any sweets at all, even though other family members could. Please keep in mind this was many years before Splenda and all the other sugar alternatives. My friends would make fun of me severely because my birthday cakes would look so pretty but taste like crap. I remember going to town with a neighbor man around age 10 and he took my sis and I through the drive thru at Dairy Queen. He told us we could get whatever we wanted. My sis and I both got icecream (the guy didn't know I wasn't allowed sugar and I wasn't telling). When my mom found out the next day, I got a whooping (that's country for a beating that lasts much longer than a spanking).

As an adult, I can not have sweets in the house. I'm fine if they aren't here but they will be gone the next day if in the house (this includes entire boxes of Oreo's, entire cakes, boxes of candy, etc). Even though I know nothing will "happen" over night to make the food disappear, I still have the mentality that I better eat it all while I still can. I have tried explaining this to family, stating sugar is an addiction to me and please don't bring it over. They still will bring numerous sweets to my home each visit and just tell me not to eat it if I don't want to. They just don't understand and I can't stop myself. I'll find myself awake at 3 am and eating those cookies and that pound cake while everyone else is asleep. I just can't control it.

I allow my kids to have whatever food they want, whenever. They can have their dessert before dinner if they want (at a restaurant because I don't keep it at my house). They are able to self-regulate and still will eat healthy, balanced diets. My daughter is a bit better about it than my son but I'd never restrict sugar because I know what it can do. My daughter is the type who can get a whole bucket of Halloween candy, keep it in her room, and still have candy left over by Christmas. She can take two bites of cake and then move on to her carrots or whatever.
We have a neighbor girl who isn't allowed any sugar. She goes NUTS whenever she can get her hands on sugar, eats nothing but the sugary food and then begs for more sugar, even eating other peoples sugary crumbs off the floor (seriously).

People should not restrict food, even sweet stuff for their kids imo. I know what that does. If you make something taboo that is exactly what the kid craves. If my kids never wanted to eat anything _but_ sugar, I'd have to work out a system of dessert only after healthier foods were eaten. But I'd never restrict it or limit it to only special occasions. I think it usually back fires in the long run.


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## want2bmoms (Feb 8, 2008)

I chose four, because life is complicated









Sugary treats were partially-regulated as child: only after I ate my meal, etc
Sugary treats were not allowed hardly at all (once a month or less)
As an adult, I have no problem eating healthy and easily choose healthy foods over unhealthy ones
I can't regulate my treat consumption and it causes me health problems or distress

explaination, I only really got sugary treats from my papa, but I did get sugary treats from him often, but only after breakfast and lunch, but it was ok if before supper.
I LOVE healthy food now, especially salad, yams, potatoes, carrots, broccolli, etc... which I was restricted as a child (my mother firmly believe that hamburger helper did, in fact, make a great meal. Sans any sides like veggies/bread/fruit/ etc. She didn't buy fresh at all and she didn't cook them on her own... she did have frozen stuff occasionally, but she would only cook it when making (cheap, cooked in oil) steak for not-so-DSF and family: usually once a week or less) I also got salad/veggies/etc freely at papa's & nana's house.
I cannot regulate my junk food. I am good at combining it with healthy food, but I cannot regulate it. I can regulate soda (which is amazing because there are days when all I can drink is fizzy stuff, and I can't always do the fizzy water) which was the beverage at our house - PEPSI every meal, every snack, every day. No juice, water, milk, etc.
As a result I am severely obese, however, note that I have hypothyroid and a possible dx of aspergers, which can result in weight gain and regulation issues. Also, mother had food issues and put it in my head that I should not need to eat more than every 5-12 hours (she only ate once a day and acted like I was overeating if I wanted food -well, ever...) I learned to not eat until food was offered and then to fit every last bit of food in my body that I could. I can't tell when I need to eat 50-75% of the time and often rely on my partner to tell me that I am "glassy" or "pale" or "shaking" and asking when the last time I ate was.

Sorry for the novel.


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## Mommoo (Jun 26, 2008)

Hi, I'm new to MDC.
I find this topic extremely interesting as I had never even heard of the concept of self-regulating sugar. I personally have many sugar-related health concerns and therefore had decided to have my son be sugar-free. As he got older (now 20 months) it became harder for me to justify eating sugary treats and saying he couldn't. So if I'm eating something sugary, and he wants some, I give him a small amount. I explain that it's a treat and that sugar isn't good for our bodies. He gets plenty of natural, unrefined sugars with fruit in his diet. I've found his behaviour interesting wrt sugar consumption. He's rarely interested, and if he is, he's happy with a very small amount. I'm not sure what I will do when he is older. I am pretty sure I have a candida problem. I was also on antbiotics a lot as a child. I'm concerned about my son and sugar. Hmmm, will look forward to reading more in your thread. Oh, additionally, we are vegan and I also have no problem eating healthful foods. The majority of what we eat is healthy, varied, and whole foods based. But if there are sugary treats in the house I'm all over them.

I voted:
Sugary treats were freely available when I was a child
I have to set limits for myself on treats or I'll eat too many of them
I can't regulate my treat consumption and it causes me health problems or distress


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## deditus (Feb 22, 2006)

We almost never had junk in the house, but mom baked from scratch lots. We often had cookies in lunches, fruit pie or crisps on the weekend. I have a sweet tooth, but I don't overdo it. Now my dd, on the other hand, won't even eat the organic juice popsicles I made for her. She really doesn't have the taste for sweet stuff!


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

As a kid our treats were limited and it took me a long time to get to a point where I was able to pass them up as an adult. I still eat treats more often than I should but I also combine them with a healthy diet and that is what I teach my dd to do as well.


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## kacymoose (May 18, 2008)

http://www.pbs.org/saf/1110/video/watchonline.htm

Check out the _Obesity Begins at home_ clip (2nd one). It talks about the way controlling food affects kids.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

My Mom would buy treats when she shopped, but when they were gone, they were gone. So, a box of twinkies would last a few days, and after that, we had PB&J or Cereal.

We were never told "no" really, but there just wasn't a lot in the house to worry about.

I don't think most people can self regulate. That's why we have such an obese country. It's not human nature to self regulate our food. The only way to do it, is not to have it in the house. If there is a box of Ice cream in the house on Saturday, but it's gone by Tuesday, just don't go out and buy more until the next week.

Kids deserve treats. Heck, we all deserve treats.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kacymoose* 
http://www.pbs.org/saf/1110/video/watchonline.htm

Check out the _Obesity Begins at home_ clip (2nd one). It talks about the way controlling food affects kids.

That was interesting! I might make some changes here. I do a lot of "Well did you eat your other stuff?"


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## SundayCrepes (Feb 15, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *straighthaircurly* 
It is easy to make the LaraBars yourself in a food processor. There is a recipe in one of the MDC forums that had a simple recipe for them

If anyone knows where this recipe is, I'd love to get it.


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## hempmama (Dec 16, 2004)

Sugary treats were freely available to me growing up, as well as all the healthy food I wanted, and now I have trouble regulating sugar as an adult. I basically can't have it in the house.

I don't think most people can regulate sugar, either. It's an addictive substance. That affects different people differently, and some people will do just fine, but they're the minority, especially given the make up of the average diet in the US. I just don't have it in the house for the kids. They've done studies, and the only thing a baby will overeat is refined sugar.


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## seaheroine (Dec 24, 2004)

Our parents encouraged us to eat healthy; we had to eat whole-wheat-seeds-on-the-crust bread, etc. No soda (although one year we each got a box of pepsi wrapped up for Christmas, haha), no ding dongs/twinkies, etc. We did have ice cream in the house and my parents' secret stash of Pepperidge Farm cookies. Treats weren't regulated if they were in the house.

That said, we earned a weekly allowance with which we could do as we pleased. The neighborhood store was within walking distance and we'd buy so much candy it was ridiculous. The little pharmacy had the best assortment! We'd also buy bottles of soda...etc. My parents had sweet tooths, too, so treats were never really *discouraged*, ie candy monitored.

Now as an adult I eat healthily and don't have much desire for sweet foods. When I lived at college I didn't have any desire for the dessert bar whatsoever. Even kicked that soda/snapple habit seven years ago...but I still have a sweet tooth now and then, and if I want it, I have to avoid buying a lot of cookies/candy. I'll usually have ice cream or Hershey's kisses in the fridge.

BUT - all of that candy as a young person did a NUMBER on my teeth. I kick myself now for drinking soda as long as I did, for eating as much junk as I did as a teenager. The effects on my teeth are irreversible. We had regular dental care as children and I had cavities then and now have had to have numerous fillings removed due to cavities developing beneath. The dentist told me last week, as he ground out two, that I'd be lucky to avoid a root canal in the next five years. (ot, I know about the whole root canal controversy!)...

It's something that I've given a lot of thought too as I have zero issues with food and enjoy eating healthy but I don't want my daughter to have the same dental troubles my parents, DH and I have all suffered.


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I have the same irrational feelings as night_nurse. My parents didn't let me have sugary treats and now, if I see them or they're in the house, I have a hard time refusing them or not eating them all at once, because it feels like it will be the last time I ever get to try that particular treat.

My parents allowed me sweets so seldom that I would gorge myself if I got the chance. Part of this was money, part of it was that THEY would eat all the sweets if they were brought into the house. So they didn't bring them into the house. They were the same way with bread--if it was there, it would be gone overnight--and now I have a lot of trouble not eating all of the bread when I buy it. My childhood friends didn't understand why I would ask their parents if I could just have a few slices of wonderbread or beg for a granola bar, which I was NEVER allowed. I also didn't get to buy from the ice cream truck until I was 12 and now can't resist it.

I allow DD to pick out a treat once or twice a week. I make sure she knows that when I say, "Maybe next time, sweetie," I mean it. I don't let her self-regulate because I would eat the treats and because we don't have the money for a bunch of sugary junk. But I've noticed that she doesn't go wild at friends' houses if she sees candy or pop, so I hope I'm doing all right.


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## BeckC (Nov 27, 2006)

I chose:

Sugary treats were not allowed hardly at all (once a month or less)

I can't regulate my treat consumption and it causes me health problems or distress

All forms of junk food were almost entirely forbidden in our house. I remember once being at a friends sleepover (I was around 10) and I hate 5 blueberry muffins and 3 bowls of Fruit Loops because I knew it would be forever before I got them again. It was made very clear in my house that junk food was off limits because junk food made someone fat and I did *NOT* want to be fat. (Surprise! Now I'm fat.) I went through a phase in middle school where I was terrified of being fat and ate nothing all day until dinner. I was constantly told that it was great that I was so thin and controlling myself. Not good.

I got to college and a combination of a lot of things (including major binging on my part) led me to gain a TON of weight that I have not been able to lose. I have to remind myself that if I want popcorn or chocolate that it's ok to eat a little bit because I can always get more if I want it. Now I'm borderline diabetic and it's still a struggle for me. It sucks. Please don't do that to your kids.


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## Daffodil (Aug 30, 2003)

Treats were somewhat regulated at my house, at least up until we were teenagers. Treats generally came after meals, not just any time we felt like having them. But we could eat sugary cereals for breakfast, my mom included things like Ding-Dongs and Ho-Hos in our lunches, and my usual lunch was a fluffernutter. And once I had my own money, I had opportunities to buy my own treats if I wanted. So I may not have had the option of eating ice cream or candy for breakfast, but I had plenty of chances to eat sweet stuff.

As an adult, I've generally eaten whatever I felt like whenever I felt like it. I bake sweet stuff pretty often, buy plenty of candy bars, and I've eaten a pint of ice cream as a meal many a time. But I eat healthy stuff, too, and I don't overeat - I may eat a lot of fattening stuff at some point during the day, but if I do, I generally eat lightly the rest of the day. I've always been healthy and not overweight, so I felt fine about my eating habits until I had kids. Now I think a lot more about nutrition than I used to, and I don't really feel like I want my kids to eat quite as much sugary stuff as I've been in the habit of eating. I want them to save room for foods with more nutrients. Also, it seems like a lot of sugar sometimes has an effect on their moods and behavior. So I'm uncertain how much I ought to restrict what they eat. I don't restrict it much, but I don't buy every sweet thing they ask for at the grocery store, and I encourage eating nutritious stuff before treats.


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## ktmama (Jan 21, 2004)

I think you are going to find as many different responses and "correlations" as there are people.

My own opinion with my two girls (eight years apart) is that it's important to regulate most things when they are/were young. We do this with sugar because sugar is, frankly, bad for you and my dd2 would eat it all the time if it was available in the house (which it's not). Eating sugar has very detrimental effects on her behavior, mood and sleep. We approached this issue the exact same way with dd1 (with the addition of dairy since she had a high sensitivity to it) and now, at nearly 11, she's very able to self-regulate her sugar intake. She has a fabulous diet, eats a wide variety of foods and is very tuned into how different foods make her feel. I think developing that awareness has been key.

I grew up in a family of nine kids, so we didn't have any sweets except on holidays and no desserts ever. Now, I don't eat sugar. It's bad for me. I don't like the effects. My dh, however can and does eat sugar.

I also think using treats as a reward for eating healthy things first is a set up for kids to over-eat. My own personal philosophy is that my kids can eat whatever they want, whenever they want (except 1/2 hour before dinner) of anything in the house, so they have total control and freedom.


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## claras_mom (Apr 25, 2006)

In the context of this poll, I want to throw in my observation that while dd loves treats, she's also perfectly capable of turning them down or leaving part of something on a plate or bowl. We "partially regulate" with her--but try not to make a huge deal of it, in general.


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## seawind (Sep 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Vancouver Mommy* 
When I was growing up treats were a once-in-a-while thing. If we had them in the house we could eat them, but most of the time there just wasn't junk food in the house. My mom didn't buy sugary cereals (except on very rare occasions), and we only had dessert when we had company. It was aways the joke in our house that if my mom was baking something I'd ask her who was coming for dinner. I never felt that I was denied treats, but I did grow up understanding that they weren't for everyday. Today I can enjoy the occasional treat without obsessing about fat and calories or consuming to the point of nausea and I hope my kids will be able to do the same. Nowadays a treat is a homemade popscicle made with plain yogurt and pureed fruit.

This was how it was for us, too. Treats were just that. Treats. To be enjoyed on special occasions and in small portions (this made for savoring the treat slowly). That habit has stuck to this day. Although, my treats are not as healthy as that homemade popsicle. Sounds yummy!


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## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

Food wasn't very regulated for me and I have a very hard time with food. I think it would have happened no matter what the specifics were about food...I eat for emotional reasons.

As far as my kids, my oldest is very moderate and self-regulates easily. My youngest doesn't. Same parents, same rules - different kids. As with everything else, start down a path that feels right and if it doesn't fit with your kiddo's temperment/personality/tendencies then shift things up. I think our lives are far too complicated to deduce things down to one factor.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

I said:
"Sugary treats were freely available when I was a child"
and
"As an adult, I have no problem eating healthy and easily choose healthy foods over unhealthy ones"

I'm not absolutely certain that sugary treats were freely available (I have an awful memory. lol) but I know that we had pop and candy sometimes when we were very little (way under 2yo). The only thing that might have affected that was that we were poor and candy may have been limited for that reason (that would be when I was under 5yo).
My family thinks I'm mean for not *offering* candy to ds when he hadn't even asked for it. So...I'm guessing that I had my fair share of candy. I stayed with my grandma a lot as a kid.

When I was slightly older, say 8 and up, yeah, I'm almost positive that candy wasn't limited. And my mother was not one to keep only healthy things in the house. lol. But she did her best to feed us what she thought was healthy.

Hmmmm....food for thought, I guess. I don't limit ds much, except by not having it in the house much. I do stop him if it gets excessive though.


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## OMama (Feb 18, 2005)

For anyone who is really interested in this issue of self-regulation, I highly recommend the book Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense.
http://www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Fee...7200762&sr=8-1

It completely changed my view of how I feed my children (and myself!). We still struggle at times, but things are much improved. It is so important to allow children to learn to self regulate. I disagree strongly with the other posts that have said children don't know how to self-regulate. Inherently they do. It is adults that mess them up with all of our own weird food control issues.


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## aschmied (Apr 22, 2007)

Just like everyone else, I find this a fascinating thread. Treats were partially limited growing up. Mom rarely bought really sugary stuff, even if we asked. My sister (grown up and living at home when I was a kid) did sometimes buy things like Fruit Loops, and share them with us. At holidays or birthdays or whatever, you could eat yourself sick if you wanted. I usually did.







I think I was 10 or 11 before I could end Thanksgiving not being utterly sick.

As an adult, college and beyond, I had very little sweet tooth. Carbs and dairy, yes, sweets, no. I'd choose a salty treat over a sweet treat frequently, too. My sweet tooth got worse when I moved in with my now DH, who ate sweets a lot. Then, I got pregnant. WHAM! Oh my, my sweet tooth shot through the roof. All the time I was nursing, too. When DD weaned, I was grateful that my sweet tooth immediately waned. Then I got pregnant 1 month later, and it came back. I hope it goes away again when DS weans.... In the meantime, I eat a much healthier diet otherwise than before the kids. I just must have my chocolate after they are in bed.

DD is not really limited. We rarely serve them, our treats are hidden. When we do serve them or are at a restaurant she can eat what she likes. She actually regulates pretty well. She got a lollipop that she kept near her car seat for 3 weeks once. She licked it every time we got in the car, but only like 3 times....







We allowed no sugar until 2.


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## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *OMama* 
For anyone who is really interested in this issue of self-regulation, I highly recommend the book Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense.
http://www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Fee...7200762&sr=8-1

It completely changed my view of how I feed my children (and myself!). We still struggle at times, but things are much improved. It is so important to allow children to learn to self regulate. I disagree strongly with the other posts that have said children don't know how to self-regulate. Inherently they do. It is adults that mess them up with all of our own weird food control issues.

I haven't read this book, so I can't really speak to it, but I'm interested in how one regulates substances that create a certain reaction in the body to want more? And what about overly processed foods or HFCS? I think if we are eating whole foods, this is a non-issue. But if we're talking about sweets in their various forms, I just think some folks (adults and kids) have a harder time with that.


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## ChetMC (Aug 27, 2005)

We didn't have unlimited treats growing up, but we certainly got them more than once a month. My parents would get cookies, chips or pop with the groceries, and when it was gone it was gone, no more until the next grocery day (two weeks later). We often got chips and pop, or ice cream, during a long road. There were treats for birthdays and holidays. When we got older we were also free to spend our own money on treats... but that meant we had less money to spend on other things that we wanted.

We didn't earn treats though. A cookie wasn't a reward for eating supper. In fact, we rarely had dessert.

There were things that my mom deemed too junky to buy... stuff like Count Chocula cereal or Tang.

As an adult I definitely eat junk, but not to an excess. I've never had issues with weight. I do have to remind myself to try and balance my diet. I crave bad carbs.

So far, I'm happy with how our older children are able to self regulate. My in laws actually bought them a bag of gummie worms today. They ate a few and played "worm family" with the rest. The kids often have treats that they don't finish.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Things were partially regulated for me as a child, partly because we had a large family and not enough money to buy "junk". But we were definitely also restricted to one serving of a dessert. For me, I have a very hard time regulated sugar. Part of me feels like if I don't eat it now, it'll be gone; part of me has learned to see sugar foods as a 'treat'. I will even eat foods I don't like very much just because they're sweet.

I think what hurt me most was the fact that my family talked about foods as "good" and "bad" - sweet foods were bad for you, and thus had some guilt associated with it. I still have that "guilty pleasure" when I eat a sweet treat. In addition, I was never given much of an alternative. I also think I probably do tend toward a sugar addiction.

I'm trying very very hard to avoid that with our kids. We talk about foods that help your body grow and be strong. We talk about foods that taste good, but often leave your body with less energy when they're burned up. We talk about some foods being too expensive for us to buy regularly. We talk about how eating things in moderation is a good idea because too much of any one thing isn't great.

We don't do much limiting of snack foods for our kids. If it's in the house, they can eat it, and we don't always limit it. Ds definitely has a sweet tooth; dd tends to crave fats/salts (potato chips). So, they can have sweet things basically any time of day, but not right before meals. They get two snacks before bed (mostly because otherwise the bedtime routine drags on for eons, it's not about the food), and they can choose sweet or non-sweet. Ds often chooses sweet, dd often non-sweet.

They're both pretty good at self-regulating. Ds is a hoarder and still has Halloween and Easter candy left. Dd is a "live in the moment" kind of gal and eats up all the stuff she likes pretty quickly, but then leaves the rest. So, she's not much for chocolate, and left all of her chocolate eggs in her Easter basket (guess who ate those














, and about of the jelly beans (the colors she likes). She ate up all the bubble gum within a day or two (but also shared a fair amount with others).

I do keep an eye on how much stuff with HFCS we have. We don't buy pop for consumption at home (we do get it when we're at restaurants, which is less than once a month). That's mostly a financial decision. We drink water at home. We don't buy chips unless it's for a party. We don't buy packaged sweets very often (usually when traveling). We cook and bake a lot of things from scratch, and I buy fresh fruit in season. That's another thing that was lacking at my house because we had so many people. For example, both of my kids had fresh raspberries as their snack before bed tonight.

I think our approach is working because they're both learning to listen to their bodies. One day I bought dd a pair of cookies at a bake sale on campus as her after daycare snack (usually I bring fruit). She ate one on the way home, and then she said "I'm hungry." I asked "Oh, are you going to eat your other cookie?" "No," she said, "I'm not hungry for something sweet." Ds has said on more than one occasion "I think this food is too sweet for me."


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## kochanyk (Jun 30, 2005)

As a child we had to ask but were not told no. Same thing as PPs that there wasn't a ton of junk in our house to start. Neither my brother nor I developed a sweet tooth b/c of it. Both he and I are healthy and thin and choose not to eat crap foods b/c it was never a big deal. My parents didn't buy that sort of thing unless we asked and we never really asked b/c it was no thing. We are raising our children in the same way (somewhat- they're still young to fully choose). There's ice cream in the house but a gallon will get freezer burned before eaten here. Of course my 20 mo old constantly asks for ice cream (and coffee lol- so it's obvious he's just asking to ask!) and he doesn't get what he wants when it comes to self-regulation yet.

I will not regulate healthy treats in the slightest sweet or not (home made pumpkin or sweet potato pie... dried cranberries and raisins... granola bars... zucchini breads, etc).

I've never even tasted a "snack cake" in my life. I also think food rewards are a really bad thing (at least for my children)


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

i didn't quite follow how you can compare the poll results, I mean, the poll shows that the majority had partial regulation and have to set limits for themselves as an adult, but you have no way of telling if they were the same people.
maybe i missed something, i didnt read every post in the thread









fwiw, I grew up in a house super-stocked with junk, and we were basically unrestricted in that. we did have to eat dinner before getting desert, but no one would stop me from making a huge glass of nesquick (with about 10 spoons of nesquick) and a bunch of chocolate or cookies to munch in front of the tv right before dinner. my parents weren't in unregulation, or AP or anything, they just weren't very present, working very long hours.
We ate a lot of pizza and mcDs, the pantry was always full of chocolates, chips, cookies, sweets, etc, and that's what we filled our lunchboxes for school with as well.

now as an adult, I don't have much of an issue with food, I'm thin and healthy, I eat mostly organic whole foods. I also eat treats, but it's not an issue.

and I'm allowing my DD to fully self-regulate (though I don't stock my pantry the way my mother did - we just buy organic


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majikfaerie* 
i didn't quite follow how you can compare the poll results, I mean, the poll shows that the majority had partial regulation and have to set limits for themselves as an adult, but you have no way of telling if they were the same people.
maybe i missed something, i didnt read every post in the thread









I know, I realized that about four posts in







But I'm getting good info from the body of the posts.


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## TattooedMama (Aug 31, 2005)

I actually voted all of these: (Sugary treats were partially-regulated as child: only after I ate my meal, etc
As an adult, I have no problem eating healthy and easily choose healthy foods over unhealthy ones
I have to set limits for myself on treats or I'll eat too many of them
I can't regulate my treat consumption and it causes me health problems or distress )

It really depends on the day. I feel that I have a huge sweet tooth, and so do my children. My DP has an eating addiction without the ability to self regulate. He is obese and grew up in a really unhealthy food atmosphere.
As a kid I did eat a lot of candy, the corner store was at the end of the block and I probably bought candy or treats on the way home from school several days a week. When I was out of allowance money I even stole money from my parent's coin jar so I could fund my sugar habit.







My mom probably made dessert 1-2 times a week.
This is an issue at our house, I don't feel my kids have shown any ability to self regulate and we have run the gamut from having no treats in the house, to trying to get them to eat healthy food first, to letting them have a cookie or sweet treat a little bit every day. They are almost always Mama made, but still cookies. MY oldest DS has much less oversight at his Dad's house and we are starting to battle (DS and I) about sugar and hiding candy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?








I probably eat too much food overall, I will eat a full meal of healthy food and veggies and THEN have cookies, ice cream or pie. I literally have to have a little bit of something sweet (like even just a small piece of chocolate) after every meal or I could drive myself crazy with the craving.







I keep a huge jar of Jelly Belly jelly beans in my sewing room....


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

I was allergic to corn and chocolate very severely as a child, and now I have a very difficult time avoiding goodies. I am not allergic anymore.


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## Quinalla (May 23, 2005)

My sugary treats were partially regulated when I was younger (desert after dinner was the rule growing up and we didn't have to clean our plates, but we did have a 3-bites rule for each item except for a couple foods that each of us chose that we really disliked) and self-regulated when I got older. I don't have a problem eating healthfully for the most part, though I do have to be more cognizant when I am eating bread or bread-like stuff (bagels, pastries with very little sugar, etc.) as I can overeat those easily if I am not paying attention. So I have to make an effort to tune into my body with bread-like stuff, but it is good anyway as I need to tune in more in general. I honestly can't eat too much sweet stuff, a little bit is wonderful, too much makes me feel unwell.


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## rhubarbarin (May 2, 2008)

We were permitted a healthy dessert maybe 5 nights out of 7, but my mom didn't like us eating sugar. We weren't allowed cookies, etc except after we ate a large meal, and we never had packaged sweets or soda in the house. We did do trick-or-treating but my mom would throw away all the candy I hadn't eaten after 3 days or so - which meant every year I would make myself sick trying to eat all my candy in 3 days.

I don't naturally have a big sweet tooth but I had a problem with binging on cakes, cookies and candy as a kid and teenager.. I knew I was indulging in something forbidden and hard-to-get (plus I was always hungry from not eating enough at meals because I had some sort of family-table-anxiety). I would blow all my allowance on candy for years.

I have always been very underweight, but healthy (rarely sick, no health problems besides sensitive, rash-prone skin and occaisional migraines). Still am.

In the last 4 years I made a switch from subsisting solely on cheeseteaks, pizza, pasta and sweets to eating very healthy. I seldom eat any sugar at all anymore. Before dinner I will salivate over something sugary or chocolaty, but once I eat 'real food' I don't want it at all anymore.

I think sugar/high fructose corn syrup/starchy snacks are the devil, really, the cause of the obesity epidemic and bad for your body in every way, as well as being highly physically addictive. At the same time I don't want to control my future kid's eating the way my mom controlled mine. So I can't decide what I want to do. Probably not forbid or police any type of food, but at the same time keep only whole, healthy food in the house where they can get it themselves, so that even if they make poor nutrition choices once they have access to junk, at least they were getting all good stuff while they were younger..


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## beka1977 (Aug 1, 2004)

Here is one recipe for Lara-ish bars:

Lara Bars

1 cup nuts (pecans, cashews, etc.)
12-15 large dates, pitted and roughly chopped
1 tsp each of ground cinammon, cardamom and cloves

Put the nuts in a food processor. Chop until in small pieces. Add the spices. Add dates, a few at a time, and process until the dates and nuts make a paste. If you grind the nuts first, the fat from the nuts will keep the dates from sticking to the blender. Blend to combine, and turn out onto wax paper. I just use my hands to smooth it out, but you could easily put another piece of wax paper on top and use a rolling pin. You could add any dried fruit and/or nuts to this I usually double the recipie and use the above called for amount of dates and for the rest use dried approcots, mangoes, papyas, cherries, and/or blueberries. I have found it is roughly 2 cups of fruit to a cup of nuts to get the right consistency.

Cut into small squares for perfect toddler-size snacks; bigger for mommies. I wrap each bar in saran and keep in the fridge, because they do get soft.

There are more recipes here: http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?p=8513479


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

actually, since i drastically cut down on wheat and carbs, my desire for sugar all but disappeared


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## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

My dad was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes when I was 10 - after that there just wasn't anything sweet/bad in the house. No one ate nasty stuff, and occasionally (like every 3-4 months), we'd be out and knowingly get some fast food/junk food.

As adults, we all mostly don't eat sweet stuff except very occasionally - same with the junk food. As much as it's terrible for my father, his diabetes really was great for us kids as it set in place some very healthy eating habits that have stuck around as we grew up.

I think we'll probably do something similar with DD - just don't have it in the house and make sure she knows that it's something we all treat ourselves to, but very occasionally. Make the treats something we do as a family.

ETA: I forgot to vote!?!?! What a dork - my vote is up now. sigh.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

Please see update first post.

Conclusions based on this poll:

If you severely limit treats, when they grow up they are likely to have significant issues with treat and great difficulty self-regulating.

If treats are freely given and children are allowed to self-regulate, it can go either way, with the adult being able to eat healthy without really even trying (about half) to not being able to control treat consumption (the other half). Very few are in the middle (need to place some restrictions for themselves on treats and can do so).

If treats are partially-regulated, most people as adults can either self-regulate easily without really trying, or have to put limits on their treat consumption. Not too many in this category end up being completely unable to control their treat consumption.

It would seem that the safest bet is to partially control sweets, and having completely free access is kind of a crapshoot. Could work really well or terribly backfire. Seems to depend maybe on the child's genetics or something. The worst thing is to over-control treats and, apparently, never allow the child the opportunity to learn to self-regulate.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Snickers were dinners during my childhood-parts of it at least. I always wanted sit down meals with real food and sugar regulation. Crazy virgo children. I do have trouble regulating my sugar intake now. My children do really good regulating themselves. I make a lot of desserts, but they can have them if they eat all their vegetables. That's my negotiation. I make myself stick to it, too.


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie* 
Please see update first post.

Conclusions based on this poll:

If you severely limit treats, when they grow up they are likely to have significant issues with treat and great difficulty self-regulating.

If treats are freely given and children are allowed to self-regulate, it can go either way, with the adult being able to eat healthy without really even trying (about half) to not being able to control treat consumption (the other half). Very few are in the middle (need to place some restrictions for themselves on treats and can do so).

If treats are partially-regulated, most people as adults can either self-regulate easily without really trying, or have to put limits on their treat consumption. Not too many in this category end up being completely unable to control their treat consumption.

It would seem that the safest bet is to partially control sweets, and having completely free access is kind of a crapshoot. Could work really well or terribly backfire. Seems to depend maybe on the child's genetics or something. The worst thing is to over-control treats and, apparently, never allow the child the opportunity to learn to self-regulate.

yes, according to your very scientific, controlled random study
















I wonder if more comes into it; like, if you were the kind of child for whom self-regulation would be no problem, then fine, but if you were partially-controlled as a child and end up needing to regulate as an adult, then you would have been one of the ones who couldn't regulate as an adult had you been raised without restrictions.
does that make sense???

i guess what i'm trying to say is: seems the best way to go is somewhere between partial regulation and no regulations, depending on the child and other factors.

I really wonder how many of the people who can't regulate or have trouble with it as adults also had other factors as chidren (likely i'd say).
Even in children today,it's very hard to say that every child can be allowed freedom to self-regulate, especially when comparing schooled, non AP-raised children with respectfully raised children.


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## sofiabugmom (Sep 23, 2003)

I voted "partially regulated (limited to after meals)" and "have to set limits for myself".

My mom was part of the "no dessert until your plate is clean" camp. Plus, whenever we went out to dinner at a fast food place, we weren't usually allowed a dessert with the meal (maybe due to cost, but I never asked). I guess when I became a "grownup", I decided to eat whatever I wanted since it was the first time I could and realized that I need the limits.

DD couldn't have anything with corn syrup or corn syrup solids for a long time or it would just send her into a tizzy or tantrum. In other words, very little processed sweets, cookies, cakes, etc. I try to make her treats as opposed to buying them, so her sweets intake is not regulated per se, just the type of sweets. At 6, I think she's mostly over the sensitivity, but I still prefer to avoid them as much as possible.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swampangel* 
I haven't read this book, so I can't really speak to it, but I'm interested in how one regulates substances that create a certain reaction in the body to want more? And what about overly processed foods or HFCS? I think if we are eating whole foods, this is a non-issue. But if we're talking about sweets in their various forms, I just think some folks (adults and kids) have a harder time with that.

I agree! My niece has 3 children. She was allowed to self-regulate junk food (not just sugar) and at the age of 25 had to have a hysterectomy because her weight was causing female problems. At the age of 26 she had to have bariatric surgery. She is now down to under 300lbs.

She has allowed her oldest dd to self-regulate as well. Her dd just turned 8. She had precocious puberty and started her period at 7 years old. She doesn't understand the feelings all these hormones are generating and speaks often about killing herself. She is extremely overweight (nearly 160 lbs. at only 8 years old -wears a women's size 12 pants), has high blood pressure, is pre-TypeII diabetic and is on cholesterol medication.

My niece still insists on letting her dd self-regulate in spite of the fact that her dd simply *can't*! I believe that with all other lessons in life, it is a parent's job to help children learn without putting their lives at risk. I believe my niece is killing her dd with all of this "self-regulating" business.


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

For some reason, a lot of people get the idea that self-regulating means taking kids into the candy aisle and telling them to get everything they want, without any consequences.
IMO, that would be dangerous at best.
When I talk about self-regulating, and how well it works for my family, is that DD is free to eat what she likes when she likes, but we have a lot of ongoing dialogue about foods and whats in them, where they come from, how they're made, the effects they can have in our bodies.
And I make a big effort to make sure my pantry is full of organic, whole foods. we make a lot of sweets ourselves. If DD wants to buy some particularly 'junky' cookies in town, I'll suggest we go home and bake some ourselves. But I won't insist. We always read the labels of everything we buy and we google a lot of stuff.

Of course this doesn't work for everyone, there are *always* exceptions, and one anecdote does not make for evidence. But I do believe that the best way for people to be able to self-regulate as adults is for them to have adequate opportunities to learn those skills as a child. and the necessary information needed to make healthy choices for themselves, and be raised in a loving, respectful environment.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

I grew up in foster homes so each home was different.
I have had free reign in some homes and it has been very strict in others - with some of them inbetween.

I have a sugar addiction. I cant get enough of it.

Someone once mentioned that they feel this is down to something my body is lacking in nutrience ...which is why I crave sugar. My sugar addiction is just that. It is beyond desire...I am adicted to it like a drug addict is addicted to their drug. If I dont have it - I get horrible headaches. I know this is very unhealthy! At the moment...I dont care! lol

I do not think that my craving sugar has anything to do with the homes that I lived in which had sugary treats strictly regulated.

However - I theres much more too it than that. I think it has to do with food in general and how we were brought up.

For me - I think its more about control (the rest of it is simply the fact that sugar is addicting to some people almost like a drug - I now theres a new book out about how to beat the sugar craving). My childhood was very much controlled by everyone but me. I remember when I finally moved out - I went food shopping! This was the first thing I took control over...interresting is it? For once I could by the food I wanted. After awhile the novelty wore off.

I eat pretty healthily. We are also on a budget. We tend to not buy crap because its expensive! So we dont always have things like that in the house. If we do, my son will want it. I dont limit him - with any foods, not just sugary stuff. If we are out and he wants something then he can have it if we can afford it. At the moment, he loves candy necklaces. They are only 10p. I always get him a few. Everyone we know is always amazed at how long they last him though! lol - One will last him a week. He wears it everyday, takes it off just for the bath and pool but it comes right back on again. The thing is...he savours them lol - he licks them very slowly...thats why they last hehe. But maybe he doesnt feel he needs to inhail them because he has that control over his own life - he doesnt feel he needs to grasp at whatever control he gets?

Just a perspective.

I am sure its much more colourful than thought - far from black and white.


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## angela&avery (May 30, 2002)

i chose that treats were partially regulated. in that, we didnt typically have candy in the morning, although i dont think id have gotten in major trouble if my mom saw me eat a piece of chocolate after breakfast or something... i really dont think she cared...
as a kid we had all access to our halloween and easter candy...xmas candy.....

my mom would buy bags of m&m's and had no problem giving me hte bag to eat as i wanted.... but she didnt replenish.... she went grocery shopping every two weeks adn that was it... so of i ate all of the candy she bought in two days, that was it until she went again... i learned real fast to regulate it so it lasted... (id hide things on my brother bc he would eat them in two days....LOL) same thing with ice cream or cookies..

I dont have a problem recognizing how much is too much... but i kind of let my self have something until i get sick of it...... so .. i guess i sort of regulate myself for health reasons.... but i can have candy/ice cream in the house and not eat it....

i have a hard time not regulating it with my kids bc #1. DS is definately affected by sugar and junk and preservatives and colorings.... I let them have cookies and ice cream daily, but they cant eat them all day long.... I let them have dessert daily, but usually i serve them.... I let them have snacks, but after a crackery kind of nutrition less snack, i make them choose fruit or vegetables.

oh and #2. DH's family has a tendancy to over eat and be heavier, his mom has a terrible time and dd is built like his family (thus far), so i really want her to have healthy eating habits, while at the same time i dont want them to feel like they CANT have things so that they overindulge as adults....

its tricky for me.... im going to go back and read this thread bc this si very important to me... and id love some input....


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majikfaerie* 
i guess what i'm trying to say is: seems the best way to go is somewhere between partial regulation and no regulations, depending on the child and other factors.

Which would still be partial regulation......no?

We had partial regulation growing up, and I am able to regulate my sugar intake without too much effort. What I mean by that is, I love and crave the stuff, but I don't eat it in unhealthy amounts (I also love and crave salad!).

We partially regulate our dc's sweets. They get plenty, though!







:


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnmama* 
Which would still be partial regulation......no?

no, I mean, aiming for self-regulation, and if the child needs it, then partial regulation.
but still, whatever choice needs to go hand-in-hand with respect and education.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majikfaerie* 
i guess what i'm trying to say is: seems the best way to go is somewhere between partial regulation and no regulations, depending on the child and other factors.

I totally agree with this.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majikfaerie* 
yes, according to your very scientific, controlled random study
















I'm thinking about submitting it to Scientific American for publication.


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## Spirit Dancer (Dec 11, 2006)

Very interesting topic.


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

Quote:

have a sugar addiction. I cant get enough of it.

Someone once mentioned that they feel this is down to something my body is lacking in nutrience ...which is why I crave sugar. My sugar addiction is just that. It is beyond desire...I am adicted to it like a drug addict is addicted to their drug. If I dont have it - I get horrible headaches. I know this is very unhealthy! At the moment...I dont care! lol
This is sort of OT, but you might have Candiasis (yeast overgrowth). Craving sugar (like an addict) is one of the symptoms.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Janelovesmax* 
This is sort of OT, but you might have Candiasis (yeast overgrowth). Craving sugar (like an addict) is one of the symptoms.

that would be my only symptom then lol...just googling it and none of the other symptoms fit at all!


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *majikfaerie* 
no, I mean, aiming for self-regulation, and if the child needs it, then partial regulation.
but still, whatever choice needs to go hand-in-hand with respect and education.

Oh, I see. That makes more sense. I think that description is pretty compatible with the way I was raised, and the way I raise my dc.


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

As a kid, we had tons of junk in the house, and not a lot of healthy stuff. My sister had an eating disorder, my other sister and my mother both struggle terribly with food. My oldest sister and I have healthy eating habits.

My mom has some disturbing food behavior. When she was visiting us for a month after my dd's birth, she bought a lot of snack food that she kept in the finished basement where she slept. While my dh was down there looking for something, he found a TON of Little Debbie snack cakes hidden around the basement. It was almost like an alcoholic - she'd insist on taking out her own garbage so she could hide the wrappers.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

We had some regulation - less about when we ate, and more about what we ate. Truly junky food wasn't allowed in the house.

As an adult, I'd say I'm pretty good at regulating myself with junk food. I get cravings, and often fulfill them, but I can have junk food in the house and ignore if it I'm not in the mood for it.

My general observation is that children who grow up with very strict food rules end up having a harder time as adults.


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## majikfaerie (Jul 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BellinghamCrunchie* 
I'm thinking about submitting it to Scientific American for publication.

honestly, it would stand up against a LOT of the "research" that gets touted by heaps of doctors


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## Janelovesmax (Feb 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ann_of_loxley* 
that would be my only symptom then lol...just googling it and none of the other symptoms fit at all!

Great.


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