# Just curious...how old is "too old" to RF?



## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

Disclaimer: DD IS RF now at almost 4 and 28 lb (I think she is about 36" tall), with NO plans to turn her anytime soon. DS is 6.5, like 45 lb and 46" and rides in a high backed Graco TurboBooster.

Realistically though, DD could easily be in first or second grade before hitting the 40 lb limit on some of these new seats (and she is not tall either....she is the same height as a lot of 2 year olds!). Right now she is in a Britax Decathlon, and I think still has like 5-6 inches left above her head. So really no need to turn her for a long while yet. She has an August birthday, so will be in K at just turned 5. I myself did not hit 40 lb till between 6 and 7, and she seems to be following my growth pattern very closely, except a bit smaller, so I could see her still fitting for a long time yet.

So would you keep a second grader RF if she still fit that way? If not, what is realistically the "upper limit" you would do it till? If your child at age 5 or 6 wanted to turn FF, would you allow that?


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

I would turn a >4yo forward-facing if she really wanted it -- asking consistently, not just wondering if she might like it. If the child was happy RFing, I'd keep her that way!


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

Well, technically my 6.5yo and 4yo could both still RF- they are only 34lbs and their seats RF till 40. Both kids get really nauseous RF, starting around the 4yo mark for my DD and around 3 for DS (I waited 6mos after that to turn him, though- his head was really big!). I have horrible motion sickness and a vestibular disorder, so I'm not terribly surprised about the kids. As long as my child was comfortable RF, I'd keep them that way. As it is, my 4th grader just moved into a booster at the end of last year from a harnessed seat (none of her friends ride in any type of seat at all), and my 2nd grader is the only kid in her grade that doesn't ride in a backless booster or nothing at all- she's still harnessed and will be for a very long time. So for our family, age really isn't a factor for staying as safe as possible.

I'm comfortable FF a 4yo, but would prefer RF past that if possible and if the child comfy in his/her seat RF.


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

Provided the child is comfortable, I'd say nothing is "too old" to RF


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## Cinder (Feb 4, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jillmamma* 
Disclaimer: DD IS RF now at almost 4 and 28 lb (I think she is about 36" tall), with NO plans to turn her anytime soon. DS is 6.5, like 45 lb and 46" and rides in a high backed Graco TurboBooster.

Realistically though, DD could easily be in first or second grade before hitting the 40 lb limit on some of these new seats (and she is not tall either....she is the same height as a lot of 2 year olds!). Right now she is in a Britax Decathlon, and I think still has like 5-6 inches left above her head. So really no need to turn her for a long while yet. She has an August birthday, so will be in K at just turned 5. I myself did not hit 40 lb till between 6 and 7, and she seems to be following my growth pattern very closely, except a bit smaller, so I could see her still fitting for a long time yet.

So would you keep a second grader RF if she still fit that way? If not, what is realistically the "upper limit" you would do it till? If your child at age 5 or 6 wanted to turn FF, would you allow that?

Janelle is still well below 40lbs, she is 34lbs and will be 7 in september. She will most likely be at least 8 before she is 40lbs... That said, she is to tall for any seat to still be rear facing, she is 47"... Kincaid is 40lbs, and has been since just before turning 5, but he has a super long torso (and really short legs...like size 6 shirts and size 3t pants) and there is no way he would of made it past 4 rearfacing in the current seats out there. He is nearly to tall for his nautilus, where as Janelle still has 1 more strap slot to go.

For me, I would keep them rearfacing, if they fit, till at least 5, if after 5 they complained about it, I'd probably put them forward facing at that point...but if they never complain, I'd keep them rearfacing till they outgrew it.

Travis is nearly as small weight wise, and a whole lot shorter than her (she's like in the 30th% for height, he's not on the charts for height...neither of them are on the charts for weight) at this age, so theoretically I think he will be able to rearface till 5 1/2 or 6 years old, and I think he will outgrow it by weight, not height...but by the time he is 6 (4 years from now) there may be something bigger available. River is on track, according to his ped, to be smaller than both Janelle and Travis...so we'll see what happens.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

It depends. What's the driving age where you live? I'd say it's definitely a bad idea for the vehicle's driver to be rearfacing.









Seriously, rearfacing is safer for everybody, regardless of age. It's just that, after a certain point, the safety differences between RF and FF are more subtle. Chances are that you won't have a 6yo or 7yo who still fits RF in any carseat. Even if they're below 40 lbs, they'd likely be too tall to RF by age 4 or 5.

I agree with the above posters that I'd let a child over 4 FF if the RFing was really upsetting him or her, but otherwise keep the child RFing until the seat was outgrown.


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnymw* 
Provided the child is comfortable, I'd say nothing is "too old" to RF









Oh, I agree that there's no "too old" to RF as long as the child fits and everyone's happy. I wouldn't *force* RFing past 4ish if the child resisted or it seriously inconvenienced other family members (as in they can't sit safely in the front seat), and I probably wouldn't invest hundreds of dollars in a new seat to continue RFing past 3.5ish.


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

My DD is 3 years 4 months, around 28lbs and 36 inches. I often question when I will turn her... I know its safer, though, so as long as she is comfortable, she will remain RF.


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## MommaKitten21 (May 12, 2009)

I am going to post something kind of against the grain here. We have a (just turned) 7 year old daughter.... I can not imagine keeping her rf even though height and weight wise, she probably could. I completely agree that rf is safer, but at what expense do we as parents do the right thing in the name of a little more safety than allow our children's emotional and mental health by them being "bigger kids."

I just think it would be VERY weird in our house if our daughter was treated like a baby and was in a seat like her baby brother


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## sunnymw (Feb 28, 2007)

MommaKittens, that's not against the grain







by "If he/she is comfortable" also means emotionally comfortable. If my 7yo was physically able to fit RFing and asked to ride that way, I wouldn't have a problem with it







but if my 4yo asked to ride FFing consistently I'd probably turn him around (after asking "why" and all that--some things are a simple fix







)


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommaKitten21* 
I am going to post something kind of against the grain here. We have a (just turned) 7 year old daughter.... I can not imagine keeping her rf even though height and weight wise, she probably could. I completely agree that rf is safer, but at what expense do we as parents do the right thing in the name of a little more safety than allow our children's emotional and mental health by them being "bigger kids."

I just think it would be VERY weird in our house if our daughter was treated like a baby and was in a seat like her baby brother









I think that it would be not just weird, but downright dangerous, to have a seven-year-old in an infant bucket, sure.

But we have a True Fit, which can fit a newborn, and will likely fit my DS2 until he's 5 or 6. Do I need to get him a different seat at some age just because babies *can* use the same seat he has?

There are a LOT of things that are going to be the same for siblings, even though they're a few years apart in age... they'll both ride in the back seat; they'll both wear helmets when riding bikes; they'll both wear clothes; they'll both go to bed before their parents. Some things change dramatically with age, some only small amounts.

I've deliberately avoided the "big kid" and "baby" language, and let my kids grow and develop at their own pace. DS1 was out of diapers at 10 months and out of training pants at 14; DS2 still does all his poops in his diaper, and will be in them until he decides the potty is an ok place to let loose with that. I just weaned DS1 when he turned 5, but I have a feeling DS2 will self-wean before he gets that old. DS2 was willing to play outside by himself before DS1 was... I don't mean at a younger age, but I mean that DS2 started going outside and playing without anyone else out there, and then, with that inspiration, DS1 decided he could do that too.

There are plenty of reasons to turn an older child FF that aren't strictly about when they outgrew the seat, and they've been discussed here... but I don't really understand how comparing them to their younger sibling is one of them.


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## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

I'd try to have my child rf as long as possible, but since ds is so very, very tiny, chances are he will also be a kid who can rf until he is 6-7 years old, so I suspect I will visit this issue at some point. I would probably not "force" rfing past about 4, if the child were truly upset by it. But i also believe that parents exert a lot of influenbce over how and what their children think, and I will do me best to make sure MY child will not regard rfing as something "babyish" or "embarassing".
I too think it's silly to think that just because a younger sibling Rf'es, it would be distressing for an older child. I have safety rules in place for my children which are age-appropriate, and many times, they apply across the board...it doesn't make the older child feel bad because rhe younger child has to follow the same rules...that's just weird. Do other parents make seperate rules for their kids ALL the time? do you NEVER have even ONE rule which applies to BOTH of your kids at the same time? i'll go out on a limb and say yes, you probably do have rules which apply to both kids...such as not playing with sharp knives, or fire, or in the street. both of them have the safe safety precaution, and yet, the older child does NOT feel emotionally distraught because he is being subject to the same rules as teh younger sibling. whjy would a carseat be any differnt.

**ADULTS** TEACH KIDS that rearfacing seats are for "BABIES". if adults did not refer to, or think about, rearfacing seats as "for babies" kids wouldn't either. Be a good role model!


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## Ceili (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
**ADULTS** TEACH KIDS that rearfacing seats are for "BABIES". if adults did not refer to, or think about, rearfacing seats as "for babies" kids wouldn't either. Be a good role model!









:

There are plenty of preschoolers who have been taught that riding in a 5 point harness is "babyish" too, doesn't mean that I have any intention of taking my 5 year old out of his Regent before he physically outgrows it. We use pretty neutral language about cars, carseats, and seat belts. We talk about using things that fit our bodies rather than describing them as something to do with how old a person is (e.g. I can wear a seat belt because it fits me, not because I'm a grown up).


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

Quote:

**ADULTS** TEACH KIDS that rearfacing seats are for "BABIES". if adults did not refer to, or think about, rearfacing seats as "for babies" kids wouldn't either. Be a good role model!
Exactly. My kids know that harnessed seats are safer than boosters (for kids who fit in them), boosters are safer than a regular seat belt for those who still fit in a booster, and a seat belt is the safest for people who fit in them. It has nothing to do with age. It's all about size. They often ask me (and their friends) why friends aren't riding in a seat that is safer- harnessed or booster, for example. We talk about how people are all free to make their own choices, but choices don't change the facts about what is safer. We are all about facts in our family, and it works really well for us.


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Our nanny has a seven-year-old, with an eight-year-old friend who (at least until recently, not sure if he still fits it) rode in a Husky or Regent, and our son who just turned 5 rides in a Nautilus in the nanny's car.

Her seven-year-old asked if he could get a 5-point harness seat, because he sees my son in one, and he rides in a 5-point in their friend's car. ;-)

So there are no hard rules about "too old;" it's all about the context that these things are presented in. If your child were the only kid in his/her class that, say, had their own TV in their room, would they complain that you were treating them differently, or see it as a privilege and a perk? Many kids feel that their "special" seat is more comfortable, safer, and generally an expression of the care and concern their parents have for them. It helps when that's how we as parents see it!


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## MommaKitten21 (May 12, 2009)

bobandjess99 said:


> i also believe that parents exert a lot of influenbce over how and what their children think, and I will do me best to make sure MY child will not regard rfing as something "babyish" or "embarassing".
> 
> I completely agree on doing your best as a parent to not regard rfing as something "babyish" or "embarrassing" but what happens when you bring one of your child's friends in your vehicle, and they say something. I mean, we all should know as parents that peer pressure is a B**** ya know? You cant tell me to another child that it wouldn't look "weird" or "babyish"


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## treehugginhippie (Nov 29, 2004)

DD1 was rf until she was 5 yr 3 mo old (when I needed her seat for DD2) but she could've stayed rf for much longer. She only asked a couple times why she wasn't facing forward like her friends. I would just tell her it was safer for her to be rf and left it at that. Also, I made a point for anyone to not make it an issue that she was still rf. So, other than seeing a friend ff, she never asked.

Now that she's ff, she says "now I can't see behind us anymore", lol! And she still sits w/ her legs crossed (not dangling).


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## Adventuredad (Apr 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KayleeZoo* 
Exactly. My kids know that harnessed seats are safer than boosters (for kids who fit in them), boosters are safer than a regular seat belt for those who still fit in a booster, and a seat belt is the safest for people who fit in them. It has nothing to do with age. It's all about size. They often ask me (and their friends) why friends aren't riding in a seat that is safer- harnessed or booster, for example. We talk about how people are all free to make their own choices, but choices don't change the facts about what is safer. We are all about facts in our family, and it works really well for us.

Sorry but part of this is totally incorrect information. Harnessing older kids, say 4+, is not any safer than using a high back booster. There is no research or statistics that show this. Researchers with the most experience in the world, the Swedes, recommend to not harness older kids since it's less safe.

Most Swedish kids sit rear facing until 4 because safety difference is HUGE, then a high back booster is used since it's as safe or safer compared to harnessing an older child.

Harnessing or boosters are both fine for older kids. Nowhere near as safe as rear facing but we have to turn our kids at some point.

Saying that _"it has nothing do with age"_ is incorrect. It has everything to do with age. Bones in a normal child's body mature by age, not by size. It would be a terrible idea to put a baby forward facing simply because of weight/size. Age is crucial so that bones can get stronger and develop further.

Appropriate maximum rear facing age? I would say no more than 5 but longer is better. After 5 most children are too large. I think we will shortly see far more children rear facing at age 4 for example since it's so much safer.


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## mommatotwo (Jul 14, 2009)

I don't think there is an age that is too old to RF. As long as the weight does not exceed the maximum for that seat, I say go for it!







Personally we changed our boys when they were 2.


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Hi everyone, my daughter is 8 and not even 40 lbs yet. As you can tell she is very small for her age. As of right now she is in a Britax Regent but with her being as small as she is, I would LOVE to be able to rear face her. If there was a seat available, I would do it in a heartbeat. I have just started looking not too long ago and if anyone here could recommend a seat in the US that can rear face past 40 lbs I would really appreciate it. I also welcome any comments or concerns you see with me wanting to rear face her again. With her size, I feel (in my heart as well) that it would be the safest option. I am looking forward to hearing back from some of you soon. Have a wonderful day!

Patti


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

No seats in the US rf beyond 40lbs. The highest shell, 40lb rf seat is the radian.

-Angela


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

Honestly, an 8yo, even a very small one, is quite safe forward-facing, harnessed and tethered.


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## an_aurora (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chickabiddy* 
Honestly, an 8yo, even a very small one, is quite safe forward-facing, harnessed and tethered.

Or in a booster


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

If she's at least 30#, then that too!


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

RF doesn't have an age limit.

If my older kids (just a couple weeks shy of 5 and 7 yrs old) were small enough and short enough, they WOULD be rear-facing still.


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. I know according to her pedi that she is still healthy even with her being small for her age which made me feel better. I mentioned before that I would LOVE to be able to rear face her but I think I am the only one that adament about it with a child her age. I think it has alot to do with seeing the aftermath of my friends car after her accident. Thankfully noone was hurt (her car was parked at the time) but after seeing that, the first thing I thought of was my daughter and her small size. It was at that point, and seeing an article regarding how rear facing is safer that I really started looking around and asking questions....which brings me here to you. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions (weather good or bad). Have a wonderful day everyone!

Patti


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## chickabiddy (Jan 30, 2004)

How tall is she, how much does she weigh, and what seat (make/model) does she ride in now?

If she is in a harnessed seat, where are her shoulders in relation to the top strap slots?


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

okay, the extended RFing concept is new to me... well the extended-extended RFing. RFing till 3 or so, I get (especially because I have a teensy weensy little boy)... but for those of you who have said that you would RF a 5 year old (or older)... and I think there was one poster who said she just transitioned her 4th grader out of a harness seat...
How do your kids handle social outings with friends (especially the older kids)? Are you the only one to drive them? Do you ever drive their friends around? If so, do you put their friends in a car seat? What if your DC is spending time at a friend's house and they decide to go somewhere (the mall, out to eat, whatever)? Do you go pick them up and drive them there? I'm just curious about the simple logistics of a car seat when a child reaches the age when they start becoming more social.

Or what about riding a school bus/van? Even if your child doesn't ride a bus to/from school, how about field trips?


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shanniesue2* 
okay, the extended RFing concept is new to me... well the extended-extended RFing. RFing till 3 or so, I get (especially because I have a teensy weensy little boy)... but for those of you who have said that you would RF a 5 year old (or older)... and I think there was one poster who said she just transitioned her 4th grader out of a harness seat...
How do your kids handle social outings with friends (especially the older kids)? Are you the only one to drive them? Do you ever drive their friends around? If so, do you put their friends in a car seat? What if your DC is spending time at a friend's house and they decide to go somewhere (the mall, out to eat, whatever)? Do you go pick them up and drive them there? I'm just curious about the simple logistics of a car seat when a child reaches the age when they start becoming more social.

Or what about riding a school bus/van? Even if your child doesn't ride a bus to/from school, how about field trips?

DS is 4 1/2 and not yet to the point where he's going places with friends. I'm booster training him now and by 5 or 5 1/2 I expect him to be using a booster full-time or close to it. For outings with friends, I would expect him to use his booster. Even parents who keep their kids in harnesses longer usually allow booster use for short trips and trips with friends. And with all the new booster laws, our children shouldn't be singled out for being in a seat...they should ALL be in seats. And even if they don't ride in a seat normally, they WILL in my car.

The preschool buses here have 5 point harnesses. Not sure about the elementary buses. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, IF we send him to school.

When DS starts spending the night with friends, that will be on my list of things to go over with the other parent. I will make sure any guns are locked up, children will be transported safely, they will have adequate supervision, ect.


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## mom_to_my_rugrats (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chickabiddy* 
How tall is she, how much does she weigh, and what seat (make/model) does she ride in now?

If she is in a harnessed seat, where are her shoulders in relation to the top strap slots?

Hi chick, she is currently in a Britax Regent. I dont know off hand what exactly what her hieght is but weightwise she is 37 lbs. She is only on the second setting on the shoulder settings.

Patti


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## beru (Nov 19, 2007)

MommaKitten21 said:


> Quote:
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *bobandjess99*
> ...


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