# 3 yo eats NOTHING, only wants chips, what do i do?



## 4GreenBabies (Oct 8, 2013)

ok, im sure that this has been posted a million times, but im at my limit and dont know what to do. we are kosher organic vegitarians and i dont buy anything processed, but my kid used to eat pretty well, now he refuses everything and i have to bargin with him to get him to finish the smallest grilled cheese sandwhich or get him to eat one scrambled egg. he doesnt even eat pizza when i cave in to my daughters (the 6 year old) constant begging. he used to eat so well, and now not so much. are there any tips to hid healty food? even my 6yo is trying to bargin with him. 
he has a thing with being messy and not wanting to get food on his clothes or hands.
i know where i messed up, it was when he was just starting to eat and i was beyond swamped just trying to make enough milk and gain my footing on a new baby in a new place (moved back to the states temporarily to be close to family, we are alone in the middle east) and i (now knowing it was a mistake) started to give him those organic food pouches to get the nutrients in him, and i never prepared fresh fruits and veggies in front of him. now i live in a place where there are no pouches, and i even ordered those refillable ones, paid 50 dollars international shipping for 12 dollar pouches, but he didnt like the first one i made and wont touch them again. they work for my 14 month twins, but not my 3 year old. he used to love pasta (organic whole wheat) and then it was passover for a week (no bread or leavening, including pasta) and now he wont eat that!
im sure that there is more, but its dinner time and in frustration i left the table and came here to try and find some help. dr's say he is healthy, good weight, smart kid, super sweet, they dont see any problems, but im super frustrated cause _not eating is definitly a problem_. 
btw, sorry for typos, my computer is ancient (over 10 years old) and something went wrong with spell check and im typing really fast so i can get back to the kids to help them with their dinner. 
i even get an earful from my husband now that im asking u guys for input, he thinks i should figure it out myself, but please, help!


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## newmamalizzy (Jul 23, 2010)

First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking input. I think it would be pretty silly to continue struggling with something when the solution was a question away! 

On the food issue, I think it's pretty common for kids to get pickier in their twos and threes. My DD was a fruit fanatic in her ones but dropped a lot of her healthy foods since then. Eggs and yogurt make me particularly sad. But I do see her starting to expand again now that she's 5.

We always dealt with pickiness using the "mom chooses what to serve, kid chooses what to eat" method. I never really ask her to eat more or try a certain food. I don't provide different foods if she complains or asks, but I do compose meals with her tastes in mind. I serve her foods separate whenever practical (like beans, cheese, tortilla, lettuce instead of a burrito), and generally supplement her meal with something nutritious and familiar, like a fruit and a dish of cottage cheese. Beyond that, I let it go, and she seems okay. She seems to eat better than many kids her age, to be honest. She doesn't consume much, but her choices are pretty good. 

Good luck!


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## 4GreenBabies (Oct 8, 2013)

thank you, both for the reassurance that its ok for me to ask, and also the reminder that two's and three's are picky. i just makes me so sad to see him not want healthy stuff, and we dont do sugary stuff like cookies and cake, so its not like he wants those over the healthy stuff, it just seems that he doesnt want to eat, but when i walk up to him and my daughter with a plate or a bowl of something, he eagerly moves towards it, then takes a look, and instantly pushes away. i try to find out what it is that he thinks that it is that he so eagerly wants, but to no avail. he ate a whole box of organic rice and buckwheat cakes today, so thats at least something, and i guess ill have to put coconut oil and flax oil in his juice and milk so that i know he is getting nutrients, but as far as food goes, im pretty clueless as to what to make him. i thought that mac n cheese was for sure a win..... nope. he did eat about 10 bites when i sat there spoon feeding him each bite bribing him with a rice cake when he was done, so im happy knowing that something got in his tummy, but he needs to be able to feed himself, right? my brother is coming to help me out for a little while and i will beg him to bring me some pouches, even tho i know the are not the solution, but maybe i can let him eat 1 or 2, then have him watch me pour them out of the pouch into a bowl, and then make my own for him.... its worth a try, right? i wish my husband was more supportive, and i guess he;s getting there, slowly but surely. 4 kids into this and he;s changed 4 diapers total, and the most he has ever prepared a meal is spreading mayo (organic) on to some rye bread. im not asking him to change, but at least no criticize the way i go about seaking help. thank you for you input ! =)


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## elus0814 (Sep 21, 2009)

It sounds like there is a huge focus on food. No way would I sit with a child that old and bribe them to take bites of a meal. As long as weight gain isn't an issue I would back off of dealing with it and let what gets eaten get eaten. Maybe it's turned into a game or a way of getting attention. Just make food available and see what happens.


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

I agree with elus0814, just provide food at regular intervals. Don't make a big deal out of it. Just let him eat what he wants of what you've provided. I personally would *not* ask your brother to bring more pouches. I think that will compound the problem and feeding kids puréed food is not a great idea unless there is a medical indication.

I really like the website/FB page www.itsnotaboutnutrition.com

And I also agree that asking advice is a very sensible thing to do.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Just had another though. If the problem is that he doesn't want to get messy, can you cut things up for him and let him use a fork? Would that help?


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

4GreenBabies said:


> _not eating is definitly a problem_.


It's only a problem if you keep making it one.

It sounds to me like your son has sensory issues. Sensory OT never worked for my son's issues (none with food, and he was resistant to treatment) but many have had success.


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## Ratchet (Mar 24, 2011)

I think the itsnotaboutnutrition.com website is brilliant and has an answer for everything.


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## Ratchet (Mar 24, 2011)

And it sounds like you have a lot going on. Be kind to yourself. You have not damaged your child! Kids are sooo tricky with food at this age!


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

I agree that it could be sensory issues.


I also think that it is our job to provide our children with a variety of healthy foods, and it is their job to eat. At that age, I would cut up a variety of healthy finger foods and let my kids eat them when they wanted to.


Stop all the drama. 


Cut out all crap foods including simple carbs like bread and pasta. Unless there is something wrong with him, he will eventually eat. But, the more you fuss over him, the pickier you make him.


BTW, one of my kids has intense sensory issues as part of being on the autism spectrum, and this worked for her. I paid attention to which healthy things she ate at least a little of, and repeated them. But even she didn't starve her self. A child has to have something pretty seriously wrong with them to actually go without enough food *if food is available*.


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## muddie (Nov 10, 2014)

We ignored picky eating and focused our attention on healthy foods and healthy eating in our dinner conversations. Picky eaters got zero face-time.

We ignored "I don't like X", never discussed such things. Never referred to a kid as a picky eater, just talked about the healthy foods they ate. We never asked a kid to try any food. We never prompted a kid to eat, we never nagged.

When our kids were 3, we did not even put food on their plate. They had to serve themselves or ask to be served. If they ate something healthy, then they got attention. "Catching them doing good" is the only strategy that we deployed.

We did this for prevention and it worked. We never had to deal with a turn around situation.


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