# My current story... advice/thoughts welcomed, please!



## VeganPregnancy (Apr 3, 2007)

Hi, so I'm new here and to MDC... I found/joined MDC because of my pregnancy and now I'm here in this group... I'm glad it's here.









Yesterday, immediately after the bad news came that DH would be deployed again soon... I went in for an ultrasound at 12 weeks (FYI, my first of any labwork or doctor's visits due to doctor/insurance scheduling) and the doctor couldn't find anything. He said the lack of _anything_ visual was a sign that the miscarriage happened very early on. He suggested a D&C, which is done quite promptly in Germany. He told me the American way is to wait a week and then schedule the D&C. I came home and read some threads here and decided though I would _want_ it to happen naturally, I just couldn't bear waiting. So I called this morning and scheduled the D&C... which the doctor's response to was "come in Thursday for another ultrasound and THEN we'll schedule the D&C." ...okay...

The thing is... I'm not sad... I mean... I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm just not beside myself with sadness... I didn't cry when the doctor told me. I just said, "oh no. That's so sad." I mean what could I do? It was gone. I did cry in the car on drive home. I sobbed a little with DH when I told him. Today I find myself randomly crying/sobbing for a few seconds and then I'm done. Usually when I go pee... I guess I am excpeting and hoping to find some blood, or hoping not to find some blood... I don't know... obviously I'm slightly disconnect or something.
I also feel ridiculous because I was thrilled that I didn't have morning sickness and I attributed that to my SUPER healthy diet... now it's obvious why I didn't have it. I also had a huge tummy! I was really thinking I was going in to the ultrasound to find out I was having twins! Now I feel... well, I feel kind of icky that I've had a dead baby in me for this long... that may not be plesant sounding to many people who call them their 'little angels' but it's honestly how I feel. Not that I didn't love this baby it's just that... well I don't know. I'm very in tuen with my body and I'm in disbelief that I didn't _know_... something at least.

I had a friend who had a miscarriage and always discussed it openly and freely. I went to her first and it really helped to know I could tell her and she'd not say something foolish. I have decided to be like her and (as soon as I can) discuss mine openly as well so that one day I can help someone else in the same place. One of the things she had always said was how hard is was being in L&D for the recovery. I always thought that was sad, but now I'm prepared for it and it won't be a shock if they place me there.

I read part of the "What to Expect" thread and I will finish reading after this post but I think my question is: *What happens during the D&C?*
Not 'what' so much, I know that part.... but how long does the procedure take? How long will I be there in total? Do I go in without eating? I assume they put me to sleep. German doctors don't lay it all out for you... they only tell you exactly what you ask about and I didn't think to ask at the ultrasound yesterday. I will certainly ask it all on Thursday when I go back in but to be pre-prepare for the answers would be nice. TIA for any advice or answers.


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## mamatowill (Aug 23, 2004)

I am in Canada so I don't know exactly what they do in Germany but I will tell you what happened with mine. I was put to sleep for the procedure. I understand that the procedure itself was only 30 minutes. I had lost a lot of blood by that point but I was discharged a few hours after the D&C. The bleeding was very light for a week afterwards. I hope this helps.


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## kati_kati (Jan 20, 2007)

jennifer - i'm sorry for your loss. everyone grieves differently, so just accept what you are feeling now, whatever that is. i had a d&c after waiting weeks and weeks for it to happen naturally. the most difficult part for me was psychological. physically it was not bad. there is some variability on how they do the actual d&c, so ask them what they will do for your case. in my case, i was put to sleep for about an hour. the actual procedure is 5-10 minutes but there is 'prep' time etc. if they give you general anesthesia, you have to have an empty stomach (no food/water). there are people who have posted on this board who were awake the whole time. there's also intermediate options like 'conscious sedation' - it really depends on the dr and on your situation so ask them if you have the option of choosing the method. when i woke up i was bleeding and they had put a pad on me. the heavy bleeding stopped within a few hours. after that i only had spotting. i'm happy to share more details if you want, just let me know. - kati

p.s. i'm vegan too by the way. i didn't really feel bad being pregnant - just really tired and occasionally disturbed by smells in the evening, but i miscarried too (blighted ovum) so who knows what it will be like when it's for real!


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## VeganPregnancy (Apr 3, 2007)

Thanks mamatowill and kati_kati

Kati_kati,
From reading threads on this board I am thinking I had a blighted ovum as well. I'm not exactly sure what that means yet as I havent found the thread that explain it entirely. But if at 12 there is NOTHING isn't that pretty much a sign of a blighted ovum?
I can't remember exactly but I think I said something to the effect of, "So maybe I was never pregnant at all..." and the doctor kind of gave a nod and eyebrow lift... I'm not sure I haven't made that up in my head though.
I figured if it happened so early on and my body has been holding on to it for 12 weeks it's already time for the D&C (I thought I read a post saying there is something about blighted ovums that actually causes your body to hold on to it) and I'm sure it's psychological but I just don't feel 'normal' anymore. All night last night I woke up freezing cold and shivering and had what I'm pretty sure was just phantom cramping and kept checking to see if I was bleeding. I just want to do the D&C and for it to be over. I hope I'm not awake.

How long did you spot after the D&C? How soon did you get AF again?
Maybe I'm confused but I seemed to get the idea that I'd need to insert some kind of meds (or go to the doc to be inserted) the day before going in or something??

During my last pregnacy (2.5 year old, now) I wasn't vegan but I was sick the entire time! So I don't know what it will be like being vegan either. DH will be gone so we can't TTC again for almost 2 years (which is SOOOO frustrating!!!!!!) maybe another pregnancy right away is not the best "cure" but I feel like it IS the right thing for us. And is so hard that we can't do that.
Now instead of children 3+ years apart we KNOW we are going to have children 5+ years apart. And that just wasn't the plan.


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## kati_kati (Jan 20, 2007)

_But if at 12 there is NOTHING isn't that pretty much a sign of a blighted ovum?
_
Yes, most likely. Could also be a molar pregnancy (sometimes they are hard to diagnose). A blood test for your HCG levels might help.

_How long did you spot after the D&C? How soon did you get AF again?
_
Just a day or so, then a little more spotting a week later. It varies a lot though - other people bleed lots more. AF returned only a couple days late for me.

_Maybe I'm confused but I seemed to get the idea that I'd need to insert some kind of meds (or go to the doc to be inserted) the day before going in or something??
_
That's if you want to induce using cytotec (medical abortion).

You may find this thread helpful:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=404839








Maybe you can go visit your DH when you're ovulating so you don't have to wait 2 years.


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## VeganPregnancy (Apr 3, 2007)

I found out I counted wrong... I assumed I was 12 weeks since I thought this was my 12 week appt.
I'm _actually_ 10 weeks at the most becuz of a guessed LMP
...I could possibly be as few as 6 weeks.


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## VeganPregnancy (Apr 3, 2007)

kati_kati;8084488
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> http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif[/IMG] Maybe you can go visit your DH when you're ovulating so you don't have to wait 2 years.


Um... is that joke?








He's not going to be in a "visitable" place...


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## kati_kati (Jan 20, 2007)

Sorry.







Hang in there.


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## heatherh (Jun 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *VeganPregnancy* 
I found out I counted wrong... I assumed I was 12 weeks since I thought this was my 12 week appt.
I'm _actually_ 10 weeks at the most becuz of a guessed LMP
...I could possibly be as few as 6 weeks.

If you could possibly be as few as 6 weeks, I would definitely wait a little longer to be sure about the diagnosis. I think when I was diagnosed, the sac measured something like 6.5 weeks.


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