# My son is starving himself



## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Because of many food issues in my own family, I swore I would never argue about food with my kids. I let them choose what to eat and for the most part, it's worked really well.

My son was always the pickiest eater of the three, but he still had a well rounded diet. Over time though, his eating has become pickier and pickier until it reached the point where he eats almost nothing.

I think it started when he had a very bad bout of diarrhea. He didn't want to eat because his stomach would hurt so much afterward.

Today, his entire intake was half a peanut butter sandwich and a single apple slice. That was it. Over the last month or so, I'd say his average daily food intake is 1000 calories, sometimes less.

I have tried begging, bribing, punishing, yelling, sobbing, getting down on my hands and knees and promising him the moon. I have tried letting him pick the food or cook the food or sneak things in, protein shakes, Boost, Ensure. Nothing works. NOTHING. Everyone keeps telling me "just make him eat" but how do you MAKE him? I am so sick of hearing "just make him".

You can't. I can't. Not unless I physically pry his mouth open and hold it shut. He will not eat. He says no. No matter what I say, he says no, he won't eat. He is tired and lethargic all the time. He has always been skinny and below the charts in weight. Now he is so thin that his size 7 jeans fall off of him.

The doctor does nothing. He just says "oh he's always been skinny". My son was tested for celiac and malapsorption, all negative. In the diarrhea, the dr. just says it might have been a bug or his diet lacking fiber.

I am sitting here sobbing. I am certain that my son is starving to death. A body cannot function on so few calories. He has lost weight. He is too tired to play.

I would give him any junk food, any candy, any anything if he would just eat it. Tomorrow I am taking him to the ER. I am just not going to leave until they do something.

The worst thing is that I have completely lost my head over this. Tonight I just lost it. I cried and sobbed and yelled at him and just said all kinds of horrible things. He's in his room crying. I just don't understand why he won't eat. His stomach hurts every day - probably from HUNGER!!!

I asked him if he liked having a stomachache and liked being too tired to play and he said no of course not so I said then Why, why why won't you eat?!?!

I am beside myself and I don't know what to do and we are both crying and I'm afraid that I've hopelessly destroyed him physically and mentally. I don't know what else to do. Please don't tell me to just make him eat. He won't eat anything. Not even candy or junk. I would give him any food in existence if he would eat it. He won't.


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## marinak1977 (Feb 24, 2009)

Hoping for you and your little guy to find a good solution for him to eat and be healthy.


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry. I think you, as his mom, knows him best. If you think he needs to be seen, take him in. There will be people and doctors that say "Oh a kid won't starve himself" but sometimes they do! That's how some of them end up with feeding tubes! You may get turned away from the ER with no real answers, and if that happens, start keeping a detailed log. How often you offer food, what you offer, what he does eat and the calories, how often he complains of pain, how much he sleeps and "rests" each day. If he's sleeping 14 hours and laying on the couch for another 4, that's a problem. If he's only eating 1000 calories, that's a problem.

I've had some similar issues with my son, but not as severe and we're able to work on them on our own for the most part. It's still SO frustrating that the doctors don't take me seriously. It's not NORMAL for a child to refuse food for 18 hours straight on a regular basis! Then to curl up in a ball on the floor and cry for an hour. Then finally take a few bites of food and be FINE. Then repeat the whole process again the next day. *sigh*

I hope they listen to you. I know a little girl who was 43" and 23 lbs before they finally took her mother seriously. She was a skeleton!


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Thank you, bandgeek. I too, get tired of hearing things like "oh when they are hungry enough they'll eat". Because my son, like yours, has easily gone 18 hours without eating.

Last night he fell asleep at 8pm, didn't eat anything until after 12 noon today, when I finally got him to eat the half sandwich and apple slice. He didn't get up from the couch at all except to go to the bathroom. He went to bed at 8 again tonight.

I tried to get a dr. appointment and the nurse just said it was probably a stomach bug and to take his temperature and give him tylenol if he had a fever and to wait til after the holidays.

But I know something is wrong! You just don't go from being a happy, energetic kid who is a picky eater but still eats a variety of proteins, fruits and grains to a kid who lays on the couch all day and refuses to eat anything without there being something wrong!

I am ashamed of the things I said to him tonight. I actually said that I was afraid he'd die if he didn't eat. I can't believe I said that. I want to wake him up an apologize, I feel so terrible. But I am just so scared and worried and at my wits end.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

Churndash, how old is your son? It must be really terrifying to see him like this. I am so sorry.

Kids generally don't hold off on eating for so long that they start to feel bad (barring eating disorders), so my suspicion (which I'm sure you share) is that there's an underlying medical problem. It is incredibly worrying that your son is lethargic. Poor kid.

Off the top of my head, there are some things that I wonder:

- any chance of intestinal parasites? Some of those (tapeworm?) can reduce appetite. It seems unlikely that only your son would be affected, and not the rest of the family, but hey, I'm throwing it out there.

- Irritable bowel syndrome?

- Lactose intolerance?

Good luck at the ER tomorrow. I feel like what you really need is a set of emergency referrals - the kid needs a specialist, and someone who believes you.


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## jeanine123 (Jan 7, 2005)

I agree that a trip to the ER would be a good idea. I also think an appt. with a counselor who has experience with eating disorders is in order as well.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

He is 11, Meepycat. And yes, he's always been thin, but he's never lacked energy. I do think he already has or is developing an eating disorder. It is just so frustrating when the doctor looks at you like you are just a silly mom worrying about nothing.


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *churndash*
> 
> I am ashamed of the things I said to him tonight. I actually said that I was afraid he'd die if he didn't eat. I can't believe I said that. I want to wake him up an apologize, I feel so terrible. But I am just so scared and worried and at my wits end.


I don't think that's too terrible. Sometimes kids need to hear the truth. If all of this is behavioral, maybe hearing the consequences will help. It might not be and it could be physical, in which case telling him that won't help at all, but you can't take it back now. Apologize tomorrow. Tell him you are sorry but you ARE truly concerned. Have a heart to heart with him and try to get to the bottom of it as much as you can (emotional stuff AND physical stuff).

I would start the log now, of the last couple of days, or for as far back as you can remember accurately. So at least you have something to show them. Even if you don't have data for as long as it's been going on, give them an estimated date of when this behavior started so they can see it's not just a stomach bug.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

It's got to feel very scary to feel so powerless.

I agree that taking him in to see someone is a good idea. If you have his weight records from the last year or so, bring those with you. I think keeping a food diary (food offered, food eaten) for a week or two after the doctor visit tomorrow is a good idea. Make sure you describe how little he's moving as well.

One book suggestion: Just take a bite: Easy, effective answers to food aversions and eating challenges.

I would ask the doctors about hypoglycemia, diabetes and thyroid issues. It could be sensory/taste based, it could partly be behavioral. I would highly recommend pursuing feeding therapy.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *churndash*
> 
> I think it started when he had a very bad bout of diarrhea. He didn't want to eat because his stomach would hurt so much afterward.


I am so, so sorry you're dealing with this. Our son had a much less serious problem when he had a stomach bug with vomiting, that his sister then had so he saw her throwing up a lot, and then my Nana had and was in the hospital a couple days...then DD got an ear infection and threw up in our van right next to him a couple times shortly thereafter, and he developed this phobia about throwing up and started not eating things he normally did (because he might choke or cough and that might make him throw up), and his list of OK food started getting smaller and smaller and more ritualized. He didn't want to ride in a vehicle, refused to go on long car trips, etc.

We had him see a play therapist for a while, and it really, REALLY helped. He was only 6 when this happened, so I'm sure it would be different issues, but I just wanted to chiem in with the person who suggested finding him a counselor, I think that it could help him, especially if it was precipitated by an event as you said. DS's therapist helped him work through the whole thing, and he's weathered a couple stomach bugs through the house with no problems since.

I hope that they take you seriously and wish you the strength to assert your concerns to make them take you seriously. You know your child. Tell them that. You KNOW this isn't normal. If you can make a list of what he's eaten the past few days/etc., write it all up with the diarrhea connection, and have it all ready to go so they see you're prepared and armed with information, that might help.

Good good luck for boht of you! :hug:


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

That does sound very worrisome:-(

This is a recent article about a boy with anorexia which talks about how anorexia is increasing in boys.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/03/young.boys.anorexia/?hpt=Sbin


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

That is very distressing. I hope you get some answers, soon. I would make an appointment with a nutritional counselor or a psychologist though. I don't know that the ER will really get you what you need :hug:


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## mumm (May 23, 2004)

My son has had similiar problems. He is ten. When you go for so long without eating it does hurt to eat. And then you don't want to eat again because it hurt the last time. My son was getting quite ill- passing out, very dehydrated, etc. Clearly he was missing lots of school and other "normal" kid stuff. He is great now! He is 5' tall and only weighs 50lb but his energy is great, attends school regularly, plays with friends, argues with me about pretty much everything! typical normal kid.









But it was a hard cycle to break. I can't really pinpoint the turning place for us. We got him in therapy for anxiety. We hired a tutor to come to the house to work with him on homework so that it was one less thing for me to "pick on him" about. We left small bite types of food around easy to nibble on. (grapes, small candies, something you or I would pop in our mouth without thinking.) We lowered our standards about acceptable food at home. I let him get food out of the house more (hot dogs at his siblings soccer games, drive though fast food that stinks up the car, muffins from the grocery store, etc.) We let him waste food without comment (which is really hard for me! But putting the food on his plate in the first place was movement in the right direction and I had to not force it.) He still has a very narrow diet but is healthy in that he isn't sick and crampy all the time.

It is really hard to watch your kid struggle when you know the problem! But possibly the lack of eating isn't the real problem, just a symptom. And you don't want to treat the symptom, you want to get to the root of it. I feel bad for you. I know the constant complaints of stomach aches. Can you get him to a therapist?

Best of luck ot you both.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

You've gotten some good advice, OP. I just wanted to offer my support and encourage you to trust your mama instinct. If you feel like something is wrong, then it is. Pursue it...don't take no for an answer. Sounds like he might need a medical doctor to help get his body back in shape and a counselor or therapist who specializes in eating disorders or anxiety. (((hugs))) Please update when you can.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *D_McG*
> 
> That is very distressing. I hope you get some answers, soon. I would make an appointment with a nutritional counselor or a psychologist though. I don't know that the ER will really get you what you need :hug:


I don't know that they can either. I had a crazy vision of just showing up and demanding that they put him on a feeding tube until he's gained ten pounds! I know that's not realistic.

When my ex and I split up, all of my kids spoke with a family counselor, and we've returned to her, together and separately, from time to time. I will talk to her about a possible recommendation for a specialist in child anxiety or eating disorders. I have little hope of getting in to see anyone before the holidays though.

mumm, thank you for sharing your story. It's good to hear a positive outcome is out there. I had suspected too, that his stomachaches are the result of eating after going so long without. I tried explaining to him that over time your stomach shrinks if you don't eat and it hurts to stretch it out again. I feel like he's old enough to understand the logic behind this, and why not eating is what makes him so listless and without energy, so it must be some overriding anxiety or psychological block that is keeping him from doing what needs to be done for his health.


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## HappyHappyMommy (Mar 9, 2009)

Churndash,







to you and your family.

First, I agree with the PPs who have mentioned to listen to your mama instincts. It was a completely different situation (my child was a newborn), but I had a sense something was wrong with my child. At her 3 day visit, the pediatrician ignored the concerns that we raised and, within 2 days, our child's condition worsened to the point that she required hospitalization. The on-call physician was awful. She was distracted on the phone and then said "yeah, I guess you should go to the ER." When we got the ER (it was a weekend), the pediatric ER doctors noted that if we had waited even 6 hours more, our daughter might have gone into shock, had seizures, permanent brain damage, or died. (We switched pediatrician the next business day!) Anyhow, that's a long wayof saying, that it can be so hard and so frustrating when a doctor ignores or minimizes concerns, but trust your mama instincts and knowledge! Your child is lucky to have you as his advocate.

I agree with the suggestions of the log; estimate the information from the past and keep detailed information going forward. And continue speaking with doctors and counselors until you can find one that can help you. It's sometimes hard to reach doctors and counselors over a holiday period, but the ER is a good option during this time.

One other thing I wanted to mention. Not to alarm you, but please be open to the fact that your son may have suffered or be suffering some trauma. Lack of eating and exhaustion/sleeping for hours on end can be signs of depression and can be reactions to trauma. Children and adults of all backgrounds struggle with eating disorders, so an eating disorder doesn't necessarily indicate trauma. That said, eating disorders are common struggles for abuse survivors. Talking about abuse is difficult for any person, but statistically, boys often less likely to discuss abuse.

I'll thinking of you and your son and your family and sending love and light your way.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

You need to take him to a pediatric gastroenterologist. You also need to stop making your food issues in to his. Stop begging and pleading. You are only making things worse. If he has an eating disorder, that is all about power and him using eating for power. You are fueling it. If it is a health issue, then it is not fair to him for you to do this.

My son has eosinophilic gastroenteritis (not entritis). It is rare. But, without extensive testing with a GI doctor, we would not have known and would have thought he was starving himself. Since you only listed 2 of the more obvious things to test for, I am guessing he has not had a complete workup with a pediatric GI doctor.

So please, please stop begging him or making food such a big issue. There is absolutely nothing that could be wrong with him where the begging and pleading and bribing would help. In fact, if he did not have an eating disorder before, then just knowing he can withhold food to get things could cause an eating disorder. I am dead serious about that.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lisa1970*
> 
> You need to take him to a pediatric gastroenterologist. You also need to stop making your food issues in to his. Stop begging and pleading. You are only making things worse. If he has an eating disorder, that is all about power and him using eating for power. You are fueling it. If it is a health issue, then it is not fair to him for you to do this.
> 
> ...


I don't disagree with you Lisa, and I swear, this behavior (the begging, bribing, etc) is so completely out of character and antithetical to the way I have treated food and eating in our house since his birth. My usual food philosophy has always been to keep the house stocked with good, healthy food and then to just let everyone be.

It's really only been in the last two-three days that I've been at the end of my rope and willing to do anything to get him to eat. I know I went too far today and I won't be doing that again.


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Big hugs to you Mama!!! I hope you get some answers soon!

Definitely ask your family therapist for a recommendation - and talk to her about this for YOU too. You need to have a safe place where you can be upset and cry about it, and get some reassurance.

I would go to the ER - even if they are unable to help tomorrow, they may be able to make referrals for you since your regular ped won't listen. Specifically ask for what you want from them - tests, referrals, whatever it is that you want you need to ask specifically. Tell them as much as you can, be completely honest (don't minimize the situation, as I have a habit of doing whenever I talk to someone not in my family), and tell them that you know something is wrong. I'm shocked that your ped argued with you - every ped I've ever seen, has always said when I request a test or whenever my requested a test, they have always said, "I don't argue with a mother" - find a ped, or a dr, with that philosophy and go with your gut. You know your kid better than anyone else, and if you know something is wrong, you're right - its the dr's job to figure out what it is.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

Since lethargy is involved I think you should definitely take him in ASAP. How long has this been going on though? If it was a recent stomach bug and he still isn't up to his old self I suggest focusing on sugary drinks to up his energy, not on food. Have him take a sip or two every 10 minutes or so to stay hydrated and don't go with sugar free drinks because the sugar is going to give him the fast energy so he can start recovering quickly. My dd will get sick to the point of lethargy because there is not a lot she feels like eating when she is ill and if I don't guess what she wants she just won't eat. I give her apple juice (capri sun juice is actually my favorite for these times because it is basically sugar) and soda first because she will sip that, once she has had a bunch of that her energy level usually pulls up enough so she will slowly eat really yummy treats that she doesn't often have. When she gets sick I try to always give her juice and treats from the beginning so the lethargy doesn't kick in but that isn't always possible. If you call your pediatrician and tell the office staff he is lethargic and has been for ____ days they should get you in quickly without making you go to the nurse. I would really suggest avoiding the nurse and just making an appointment anytime you are sure your child needs a visit because the nurses tend to be so laid back even in cases when the doctor is not (this has happened to us twice and the nurse got chewed out both times).


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## luv-my-boys (Dec 8, 2008)

honestly my immediate concern would be how long has he gone without fluids? You can physically go days without eating but you need constant fluids to not get dehydrated which would present it self in lots of physical symptoms. I agree with the other posters he needs to be seen by a dr immediately. I would insist that they do a bloodwork to check everything and start an iv with dextrose (if needed and a multi vitamin can be added as well depending on what the bloodwork up says) imo that is the minimum that I comfortably would be willing to leave the hosptial with. Preferably i'd beg and demand a GI consult while there. hugs and prayers mama.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

HUGE HUGS to you, this must be so difficult for you & your son!!

Has he had (or is there any chance he had undiagnosed) strep throat before he went downhill? There is something called PANDAS that is triggered by strep and can lead to things like tourettes, OCD, or anorexia. Something you might want to look into...

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb4365/is_20_38/ai_n29234308/

http://www.pslgroup.com/dg/34ea6.htm

I would definitely pursue a formal diagnosis, kids that just don't eat a lot still look & feel healthy & happy & energetic... it definitely sounds like something much more serious is going on with your son. I hope you get some answers, fast.


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## oaktreemama (Oct 12, 2010)

Please don't beat yourself up!! This has got to be incredibly stressful. My co-worker went through something similar with her son (he has autism). He went from eating a few ok things to eventually refusing to actually eat anything that required chewing. He lived on Pediasure and even that wasn't always a sure thing.

They did feeding therapy with a specch therapist and it really helped. I wish you all the best and I am sure you will get to the bottom of this.

As to what you said about being afraid he'll die...sometimes brutal honesty is the wake up call families need.

(((((()))))))


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *One_Girl*
> 
> Since lethargy is involved I think you should definitely take him in ASAP.


I agree. Lethargy is a point when I would be concerned.

TBH, I'm thinking "eating disorder" when I read what you're writing. I don't have a lot of experience with eating disorders, so it's not coming from a place of knowing or understanding - just hitting something in my subconscious from what I've read about them.


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## Petie1104 (Oct 26, 2010)

I second the pp that suggested getting him tested for parasites. DS had diarrhea for a couple of days and then just really got so picky in his eating that he started to lose weight. He is 4 so he couldn't explain to us why he didn't want to eat, but he just refused. Finally, we got him tested for parasites and he was infected with them. As soon as he got through the medicine (which at times I wondered if it was worse than the condition of the parasites, it was like a bad stomach virus for him) he was eating well again.

When dealing with Dr.s who honestly think you are exaggerating, I find it best to irritate them to the point that they will do anything to get rid of me. I have told a doctor before that if I didn't get a referral that I would make an appt every time an incident occurred until she finally decided that it was easier to just send me to who I wanted to see. I got the referral that day. (It was for a psychiatrist for dd, so not the same as your situation at all, but the point is the same). Make yourself a pest, bug them until they do what needs to be done and don't let up until you feel certain your ds is being taken care of well.


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## HappyHappyMommy (Mar 9, 2009)

churndash, how are you and your son doing today? I'm thinking of you and I'm sure many others have. I hope you've been able to connect today with some doctors or counselors who can help your son and that you're getting support as well. Hugs to you!

Please update us if you have a chance.


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## 34me (Oct 2, 2006)

All I can say, is go with your gut. There are a lot of things that might make a kiddo not want to eat. In my 14 yo DS's case it's texture aversions/eating disorder. It has been a long battle that we have yet to win about getting him the help he really needs and I think it's partially because he's a boy. And partially since he is 14 I have resorted to paying him to eat. I'm not proud of it but it is working right now when nothing else is, and it's still only a minimal number of calories.


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

Slightly better today. We did visit the ER this morning; I explained that the ped office was closed for the holiday and his symptoms seemed urgent. He received IV fluids and some anti-nausea meds. The dr there suggested it was a stomach virus (makes sense, ds had a fever). I explained my other concerns (started crying, probably came off as a loon) but the ER doc was very kind. He suggested the food diary as well; something to do while waiting for our dr. appointment next week. And to keep ds away from dairy for a few days and then reintroduce it and see what happens. We have an appointment next week with the pediatrician, and I've decided to tell him that I'm just not leaving until he does something besides tell me not to worry. My kids are still covered under my ex's insurance, which is excellent. So there is really no test or procedure he couldn't order that wouldn't get paid for.

I got the names of three child counselors that are covered by our insurance; two that specialize in anxiety and one that specializes in eating disorders. I left messages for all, hope to talk to them next week and see who might be the best fit.

As for ds eating today: he had peanut butter toast again for breakfast and a few slices of ham at lunch. Half a slice of pizza for dinner. Still less than 1000 calories. The latest bout of diarrhea has ended, at least, and he is doing much better after the fluids. Still tired and wanting to lay down all day, but not the sleepy, lethargic, dull expression that had so worried me the last couple of days.

Does anyone know of a way to make those Ensure or Boost drinks more palatable?


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

I didn't realize he had a fever. How long has he had the fever? I guess he could be just sick then right? I guess I'm trying to figure out why you think he has an ED if he does actually have signs of a more acute illness? I may need to read back the thread, you may have said already!


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## churndash (Mar 25, 2009)

the fever was in the last 24 hours, the food issues have been ongoing, he's always been a picky eater but things have gotten much much worse over the last few months. the chronic stomach pain and diarrhea have been going on since September.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Hi mama,

I'm a little confused. Is your DS currently sick or was he sick in the recent past? At 11, this certainly could be the start of an eating disorder but of course you want to rule out medical conditions first. If he is willing to drink calories (Boost,Ensure) I actually would skip those. There is nothing magical in canned nutrition. You can make your own healthier nutrition shakes. My home care patients are frequently prescribed Boost and I tell them this same thing. You can use any kind of milk or yogurt for the base, add a healthy oil, fruit if he likes it or peanut butter and throw in some flax seed. You can really tailor it to his individual taste. If you already have the Boost you can throw it in the blender and add stuff to jazz it up like fruit and peanut butter or even ice cream at this point.

Try to encourage fluids because dehydration can happen quickly. Does he give you reasons for not eating? Says he's not hungry? Or just refuses? When you go to the doctor, put the mama bear mode on and do not leave without a plan in place. It is NOT normal for an 11 year old to eat so little. My heart aches for you mama and I hope you and your son find some answers.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *churndash*
> 
> the fever was in the last 24 hours, the food issues have been ongoing, he's always been a picky eater but things have gotten much much worse over the last few months. the chronic stomach pain and diarrhea have been going on since September.


I don't know, this just doesn't sound like an eating disorder to me. Maybe it's just because I don't know your son & your whole story, but to me this really screams 'medical issue' not 'eating disorder'... Things I would think of are parasites, celiac, lactose intolerance, other food allergies/intolerances, bowel disease, perhaps some kind of thyroid or metabolic disorder...

ETA: Maybe look into Crohn's disease as well.


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## D_McG (Jun 12, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


I knew I had missed something! Chronic stomach pain/diarrhea and now a fever does not sound psychological to me at all, either. Is there a reason why you're not consulting with a peditatric GI? Or, I guess I don't understand where the psych focus is coming from? Lethargy, fever, chronic stomach pain and diarrhea. I would definitely think they'd want to scope him or something at this point.

Any history of celiac disease in the family? My picky eater had dairy/soy issues as an infant and I wonder if maybe he still does.


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

My daughter has food issues, she too hardly eats anything and it is really worrying for us, unfortunately, because what she does eat is really healthy the docs don't have much issue with it but its driving us nuts. She is IgA seficient and we reckon thats what is causing some of the problems because she has forever had diarrhoea and stomach pains. I don't know, its just a lot of hard work and worry and its scary.


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## The4OfUs (May 23, 2005)

I think there's a component of anxiety to it, naturally if every time he eats he's in pain or has diarrhea, but I agree this doesn't really sound like an eating disorder, per se, and more like a physical thing that is being compounded by anxiety because of the symptoms it's causing....and the anxiety part is why I would still recommend a counselor to help him work through the anxiety and get back to eating normal amounts after the physical stuff has all been worked out. Even with our comapratively minor issue I mentioned above, we were unable to help our DS work through it alone, he needed someone else to help guide him. We were too close and too invested in it, you know?

I also agree about skipping the Boost and Ensure and making your own at home. If you're staying away from dairy (we do largely, too, for DS) you can use almond or rice milk (almond milk is thicker so we like that better), banana and peanut butter, some flax and there's a great drink - you can even get vitamin/mineral/protein powders to stick in there, too - I've used the almond milk to make pudding, too - you could sneak all sorts of stuff into that, as well. Last time I was looking, I think I googled "homemade carnation instant breakfast" or something like that...you could probably google "homemade ensure" and that would give you a bunch of results.

Please keep us posted, I've been thinking about you and your son a lot!


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *D_McG*
> 
> I knew I had missed something! *Chronic stomach pain*/diarrhea and now a fever does not sound psychological to me at all, either. Is there a reason why you're not consulting with a peditatric GI? Or, I guess I don't understand where the psych focus is coming from? Lethargy, fever, chronic stomach pain and diarrhea. I would definitely think they'd want to scope him or something at this point.
> 
> Any history of celiac disease in the family? My picky eater had dairy/soy issues as an infant and I wonder if maybe he still does.


But chronic stomach pain can be from not eating enough since your stomach produces acid to digest food, and if its not used on food it sits in your stomach and causes pain and ulcer like symptoms.

I would be looking at ALL angles right now - medical, emotional, physical, everything. I would not rule out anything yet.


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

If you are not pleased with what you are getting from your pediatrician the answer is not to decide it is a psychological problem. The answer is to get another, better, doctor who will be listen and get something done. I would not even begin to entertain an anorexia diagnosis until you get a much more thorough evaluation of his GI problems. I agree with the posters who said to look at parasites and infections. If you can't get anywhere with mainstream pediatricians look to a naturopath - they are often much better at this sort of thing.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

It does sound like this could have a physical cause. Then he knows that if he eats he feels worse which makes him not want to eat again. Just to share, I have IBS and man, if I eat the wrong thing I'm miserable and definitely hesitant to eat anything else and repeat the experience or make it worse. And I'm an adult who knows what's going on! For a kid, if there's a physical cause behind all this, that would be really scary.

Even as an adult, it took a very long time to be diagnosed and longer to figure out all of my trigger foods. There are still rare times I'll have an episode and have no idea what did it. GI issues can be so hard to diagnose and it can often be a diagnosis via elimination. Hard to go through the tests and many doctors are hesitant to search for the real cause. I don't know why but that's just the way it seems with a lot of docs.

Good luck finding the solution. Your son is lucky to have a mom who is listening and caring so much.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I'm glad the ER doc was helpful and that the fluids helped.

Two more thoughts:

First, instead of focusing on how little he's eating, focus on the fact that he is EATING!

Second, another thought to add to the list of things to test for: Crohn's disease. My SIL was 10-11 when she came down with Crohn's disease, and while it's not common in children, it can occur in children. The major symptoms are: Diarrhea, abdominal cramps and fever, along with others that I can't remember.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *churndash*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


While I agree that you should take him to see a ped GI, I would also say take him in to the ER today. He sounds really bad off and getting in to the GI will take awhile (I called for an appt at the beginning of Sept and we got in at the end of November.) And then there is the testing. We're still waiting and my son has had diarrhea since he was 1 (he's almost 4.) It just takes awhile. So getting in the ER now and maybe cutting through some of that waiting seems really important in your sons case.

There are lots of things that could cause your sons issues. Anxiety, celiac (the blood test is only 80% accurate), crohn's, eating disorder... It's a long list  Getting him to a place where he has energy needs to happen before you can address any of that though!

Good luck mama. :hug


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Ok, just read your update.

Have you noticed a correlation between eating gluten for breakfast and then not eating the rest of the day? My son will eat cereal for breakfast and then nothing else. But if we give him an egg, he'll actually eat lunch and dinner and 2-3 snacks. It's weird, lol.

I'm glad he's feeling better. Hopefully you'll get some answers soon.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

I am glad he is doing better. I hope he stays well. I noticed that you got some suggestions to put flax seed stuff in your son's drink and I wanted to mention that flax is very filling and could decrease his appetite. Since you want him to get more good calories I think you should be cautious about putting things that will suppress his appetite in his drinks.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I truly mean no offense, but the ER doc did say to eliminate dairy and you clearly have not. (you said he ate pizza) hidden dairy can be a huge issue too. My DD gets pain and diarrhea when she had dairy.

Dairy can also cause a lot of other issues as well.

here is a link for hidden dairy http://www.kellymom.com/store/freehandouts/hidden-dairy01.pdf

good luck!


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## mama1803 (Mar 4, 2008)

Have you considered a zinc deficiency?

http://www.ctds.info/zinc1.html#zinc_deficiency


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## camracrazy (May 27, 2006)

I read this before but didn't post because i thought the diarrhea and stuff had ended.

He could have a blockage in his intestine. I know this sounds weird if he has been having stools, but if they are very loose it is possible that they are passing around the blockage. This has happened to my dd. It makes her not want to eat because she feels full, and the lack of eating makes her tired. It's just a thought, and it can usually be ruled out with a simple x-ray.


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## Katwoman (Apr 15, 2004)

Another thing to consider is probiotics. If he has - or had - a stomach/intestine "bug", it could have thrown off his digestive balance. Probiotics or a digestive enzyme can help with the pain of eating. (I struggle with this and it SUCKS to have your stomach hurt when you eat and hurt when you don't eat. You feel like you can't win.) A naturalpath could help you with either of these supplements.

I'm sorry you're going through this! My DD1 has always been skinny. They were worried about her until she was a year old and then miraculously she was "the way she was". So when she was 5 and got so skinny I could poke my fingers through her ribs, "nothing" was wrong. The naturalpath did a full blood work up and we discovered she has hypothyroidism. (I know that is spelled wrong.) Now that she's on her supplements she eats.


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