# What no one ever told you about the post-partum period...



## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

I remember a great thread on this a while back, but I think it's been archived. Helped me so much when DD was born!

What surprised you immediately after the baby's birth and for the six weeks thereafter?

For me, it was almost fainting when I got up to pee for the first time. I'd lost a fair amount of blood, apparently. There was only a tiny little nurse with me and I think both of us were afraid I would crush her if I fell on her! I made it to the toilet and was fine after resting a bit.


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## Fujiko (Nov 11, 2006)

That in case you do have a significant tear, you are pretty much laid up for at least a week or two.

Just had my son a week ago and it's taking longer to recover from the third degree tear than it did for my c-section!


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## dannic (Jun 14, 2005)

I knew I'd still have a bit of a belly, but no one told me it'd be like a 6 mos pregnant belly. sigh.


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## Comtessa (Sep 16, 2008)

My experience was the opposite - nobody told me it's actually possible to lose ALL your baby belly at birth, and nobody I know ever did it, so I brought maternity clothes to the hospital to wear home and they practically fell off!!!

Sorry, I probably shouldn't admit that...
















Other things nobody ever told me:

you'll really really want to DTD at 3 weeks. Do it then 'cause afterwards you won't have any interest for another six months!
you'll be thirsty all.the.time. Haul a bucket of water with you everywhere you go. Do not sit down to nurse, EVER, without a glass of water at your elbow.
corollary to above: you'll be hungry all.the.time. Buy stock in granola bars and frozen enchiladas, they'll save your butt for the first couple of weeks.
PP bleeding is a LOT of blood. A lot more than a period. And lasts much longer.


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## laughingfox (Dec 13, 2005)

I wish someone had told me that taking it easy for a bit after birth is actually medically necessary, even if you think you feel fine.

I was doing too much immediately after the birth, and I bled pretty heavily for 6 weeks (which I didn't know wasn't normal, so I guess I should add that to the list), and I wound up being rather sternly told at my PP visit to take it easy unless I wanted a transfusion.


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## treegardner (May 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fujiko* 
That in case you do have a significant tear, you are pretty much laid up for at least a week or two.

Just had my son a week ago and it's taking longer to recover from the third degree tear than it did for my c-section!

It took me well over 6 weeks to completely recover from my 3rd degree tear.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

that after each consecutive child the after pains get worse and worse! nursing your newborn baby #2..#3 makes your body go into labor all over again..wow. the after pains for me seemed far worse than giving birth..

that after your bean is born you feel this weird empty feeling like there is a big hollow space inside of you, which there is i guess. its a feeling that freaked me right out, even after the third.


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## scottishmommy (Nov 30, 2009)

Do not look a your vagina! Seriously. I'm all about taking charge of one's own health, but taking a peek is a bad idea. If you think there's something wrong down there call your hcp.
That being said, if you do look and your vagina is slightly, um, inverted, don't panic. Everyone who's given birth has slight pelvic organ prolapse. Your organs will shift around a little. I really, really wish someone had told me that!
Don't do anything but breastfeed, sleep, eat and drink. No laundry, no cooking, no cleaning.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I had a 3rd degree tear so my pp period may have been rougher than some, but I was totally unprepared for being unable to move without pain for weeks. I felt like I was in a fog. I should have asked for more of the "good" prescription painkillers but instead I was miserable.

Oh, that horrid, empty feeling in your middle. Next time I will definitely look into belly binding more 'cause I think it would be realllllly comforting to have something holding you together for the first little bit. I kind of felt like someone took all my insides out, gave 'em a good shake & then stuffed 'em back in in the wrong order - just. not. right.

For the first few weeks I was really haunted by my birth experience. I kept reliving it every time I was quiet or closed my eyes. It was rather disconcerting.

And like a pp said, the thirst was crazy. I kept a 4L jug beside the bed & would have to call dh to come fill it up. I've never been more thirsty in my entire life.

How completely & utterly you fall in love with this new little person.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

That it can be great! I had so many people tell me how miserable it was going to be, I was sure I was going to get ppd, ect. Even recovering from an CS, it was the most wonderful time of my life.


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## pacificbliss (Jun 17, 2006)

That the incredible flood of love you feel for this new person and your significant other might in fact come flooding out your eyeballs. I think I lost half my water weight through tears.


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## CrunchyChristianMama (Dec 5, 2008)

I felt like I had a bowling ball sitting in my vagina for a few days after the birth...she came out in an odd way though, so that may have been part of it.

To take the offer for a stool softener after the birth. That first pp poop is a bear.


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## mosesface (Jul 25, 2006)

I remember being overwhelmed by how much I missed my dh, even though he was right there! I could not get close enough to him and when he hugged me I would just sob. I was absolutely ecstatic about my new baby, but there were moments when I just looked at dh and thought, "what have we done!?". But those feelings were fleeting and were gone completely after a week or so.


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## xixstar (Aug 15, 2007)

I wish someone had told me that I would be starving!! Like crazy mad starving. After not really ever being hungry when pregnant and then not having room to eat much at the end, I couldn't stop eating and poor DH did nothing but make food and wash dishes that first week.

We'll be way more prepared for food this time!


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## CheekyLilMonkeys (Dec 11, 2008)

Mosesface - I thought the same after each one - the "what have we done?!" I don't handle big changes very well, so despite each of my babies being planned and much anticipated, in the few weeks after each one I felt lost at sea waiting for life to feel 'normal' again till I'd adjust and couldnt imagine NOT having the new addition.

Also another one with the thirst - worst was if I sat down to feed without water and no-one was there to get me a glass, never felt so thirsty it was almost painful before!

Ooh and the afterbirth pains with DS2, sooo much stronger, always had to try and breathe through them like contractions - makes me a little worried about my third!

The best one though is that you'll feel like the most lucky person in the world, and the only one to ever have a new baby! It's like you're in this little bubble - I'm almost surprised when people would talk about other things in the first few weeks, like I'd forgotten that life went on as normal outside our bubble!


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

I'm gonna have to say the after pains too. No one tells you about that. Just when you think you're done, there they are LOL


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## Sweetiemommy (Jul 19, 2005)

The best advice I can give is to remember that the baby stage doesn't last forever. There is major improvement in things like sleep and crying by 2 months and it just keeps improving. I remember feeling like I was trapped by this needy little animal and that I would never ever be "free" again. While that is somewhat true, I have maintained some sense of who I am/was and continue to grow as a person every day. It was not the end!









Also, I would like to emphasize that the midwife's advice to rest, not lift anything heavier than your baby and to minimize use of stairs, this advice is for everyone! Not just for wimps. Don't start running around doing chores and running errands just because you feel good. All of your muscles are streched out and if you want things to go back into place properly, you should take it easy!


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## MyFillingQuiver (Sep 7, 2009)

-That if you do have a highly medicalized or traumatic birth, you may not feel overwhelming and instant love and attachment with your newborn. However, with time, and caring for your baby, you can get there...

-That the first time you get up, you may gush blood...it's not abnormal, though can be scary if no one tells you!

-That hemorrhoids don't _necessarily_go away after birth like most books say. Our oldest is nearly 13, and I still occasionally battle the same roid's I got with him first.

-That you may actually miss the days of dependence, once they move to being more independent.

-That not all newborns like the car or will fall asleep in the car.

-That food will likely never taste as good as when you are breastfeeding in the first few months! Having something good to eat after giving birth is a MUST and will taste wonderful.

-Not all women lose tons of weight and have their jeans fall off while bf'ing! For me, I'm a storer, and losing the last 15-20 lbs just doesn't happen for a long time....

-That no matter the difficulties in the PP period, (and pregnancy/delivery) most women are willing to have another go at it...or 2, or 5, or 10.


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## noobmom (Jan 19, 2008)

I wish I had remembered to bring some healthy snacks (specifically prunes!) to the hospital for after the birth. I was only there for 24 hours, but there was hardly any vegetables/fiber in the hospital meals and of course I was starving so I scarfed down all the junky food. I didn't eat enough vegetables when I got home either, I guess, though I did take the stool softeners. Lo and behold, I was constipated for 4 days after giving birth because I didn't think about drinking/eating prunes until day 3. Gah, it was worse than labor!


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## Sihaya (Jul 3, 2006)

Save up toilet paper and paper towel rolls during your pregnancy. Even with only mild "skid marks," it made it a thousand times easier to pee when I peed into one. My midwife didn't suggest it until I was post-partum and I didn't have nearly as many as I needed. Reusing them is not really fun









Prune juice or stool softeners will make that first pp bowel movement so much easier.

Depends are a fantastic idea for post-partum flow, BUT mamas can get diaper rash, too, so line them with flannel or a cloth pad to protect yourself!


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## lindsayncadence (Mar 27, 2006)

This sounds like me almost to a "T"

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Comtessa* 
My experience was the opposite - nobody told me it's actually possible to lose ALL your baby belly at birth, and nobody I know ever did it, so I brought maternity clothes to the hospital to wear home and they practically fell off!!!

Sorry, I probably shouldn't admit that...
















Other things nobody ever told me:

you'll really really want to DTD at 3 weeks. Do it then 'cause afterwards you won't have any interest for another six months!
you'll be thirsty all.the.time. Haul a bucket of water with you everywhere you go. Do not sit down to nurse, EVER, without a glass of water at your elbow.
corollary to above: you'll be hungry all.the.time. Buy stock in granola bars and frozen enchiladas, they'll save your butt for the first couple of weeks.
PP bleeding is a LOT of blood. A lot more than a period. And lasts much longer.


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## orangatan (Aug 12, 2009)

That even if you have a wonderful, amazing, home waterbirth like you've dreamed of, it's ok to not have that OMG I LOVE MY BABY feeling right away. I said hello, passed baby to DH and went to have a shower. Spent 10 min in the shower in total shock about what I just did. That an actual baby just came out and I felt sorry for my body. Then I spent the next 6 weeks feeling so guilty that I didn't nurse immediately when I could have, didn't do extended skin to skin after birth, didn't feel that OMG feeling, ect. Then I talked to other moms with similiar experiences and I felt a lot better.

The after pains after baby #2. Whoa, didn't even know what afterpains were. I thought I was having some sort of life and death complication.

The tears of love, joy, fear, gratitude, everything.

I echo the feeling that a PP mentioned about the "bubble". Friends would call and talk about what they were up to, what so and so did/said and all I could think was, "shut up! I just pushed a baby out of my vagina!! Do you not understand?! Who cares that your boyfriend didn't text you back...I gave LIFE to another HUMAN!!"


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## cloudgazer (Dec 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Comtessa* 


you'll really really want to DTD at 3 weeks. Do it then 'cause afterwards you won't have any interest for another six months!

What is DTD?


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

No one told me the GOOD stuff. Like, every time I would look at DH or DD my eyes would tear up and my knees get all wiggly...better than a highschool crush. I was on cloud nine for days.

No one told me DTD might NOT hurt. I waited 3 long weeks b/c of the horror stories and warnings. Now I wonder if we could have tried earlier.

Well, one thing in particular was not "good" perse. From watching youtube videos and reading birth stories, I saw this common theme in homebirths where the mama would push her kid out, smile for the camera and then get up, walk around, eat, take a shower, etc.

Um, yeah....ha! DH had to hold DD so I could "fall over" from my squatting position after I pushed her out. I couldn't even walk. All three of us climbed in bed and slept for almost 24hrs straight...


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

That some of it feels like menopause with night sweats, hiot/cold flashes.
That you have to pee a LOT in the first few days to get rid of all the extra fluids from pregnancy and all the water you have been drinking due to being so thirsty.
That much as you love your older kids, sometimes you just feel really irritated with them when they are whining for attention and taking away your time/attention from the newborn.
That afterpains are worse with each one.
That if the nurse/midwife/anyone offers ibuprofen for the afterpains, TAKE it, don't worry about how it affects baby (they are okay), it will help you function.
That sleep is a precious commodity you take when you can get it.


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## BetsyS (Nov 8, 2004)

I was so hungry and thirsty, especially after baby #1 (long labor, lots of water weight falling off).

After #1, DTD wasn't remotely non-painful until at least 6 months postpartum. Those women that do it at 3 weeks? Total superwomen. Which I expected to be. But, it didn't happen. Number 2 was MUCH better, and at 8 weeks, it was comfortable. I'm not sure what was going on with #1, but it was rough.

The hormones!! I totally didn't expect to feel so crazy. So many ups and downs, mood swings, crying, feeling upset over nothing, feeling like I hated everyone, then upset cause they weren't visiting me. LOL. It was a nutty time. But, it's better to be prepared for it.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evie's Mama* 
I felt like I had a bowling ball sitting in my vagina for a few days after the birth...she came out in an odd way though, so that may have been part of it.

To take the offer for a stool softener after the birth. That first pp poop is a bear.

I forgot about this! I took the softeners at the hospital but it was still several days before that first PP poop came along. It felt like going through labor all over again, because you're kind of pushing from the same spot. I remember hanging on to the toilet and yelling, "Whoa, whoa, WHOA!". I was fine, but it was just such an intense physical memory of the birth.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

Another thing I forgot: it may be hard to pee immediately afterwards, even though you may really want to.

Some advice I got here which worked:

Have peppermint essential oil with you at the birth. When you go to pee the first time, put a few drops of oil into the toilet water. Drink some orange juice, and then sit on the toilet and let the vapors from the oil help your muscles relax.

The first time I tried this it didn't work (that was the time I almost fainted), but I tried again a little later and it really helped.


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## 4JMJ (Feb 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cloudgazer* 
What is DTD?

"do the deed"


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## Addie (Dec 19, 2009)

Many of these suggestions ring true for me.

I really wish someone had told me about PP constipation, and suggested stool softener - I waited too long to start taking them, and that first PP poop was seriously traumatic. I'm just now feeling like I'm getting back to normal, 11 weeks PP.

I also wish I was more prepared for the immediate pain and discomfort in the weeks after birth. I had no idea it would be so rough, that it would be hard to get around for the first week, that sitting would hurt, that peeing would be so painful - thank goodness for the peri bottle! I came through an unmedicated birth pretty well, because I had an idea of what to expect - but I felt totally unprepared for the PP recovery.

And breastfeeding - I wish someone had told me that it can be really difficult at time, it may not be intuitive, and it can hurt! I was dedicated to breastfeeding, and I guess I thought it would develop naturally - and for me, that wasn't the case. It has gotten so much better, but I struggled at first, and I couldn't help but feel incompetent. The standard line from LCs and other professionals seems to be, "breastfeeding doesn't hurt, and if it does hurt, you're doing something wrong." Well, for me, it just hurt for a few weeks. I did seek help and we addressed some things, but for goodness sakes - you're using a sensitive part of your body in a completely new way, and you're not a failure if it hurts for a bit!

And the emotions - I guess I knew that was coming, but I was relatively stable throughout my pregnancy, and the feeling of crying uncontrollably at the smallest provocation was new to me. Just the overwhelming-ness (not a word, but whatever) of everything caught me off guard.


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## babygirlie (Jun 4, 2009)

The gush of hormones making me teenager insane. Gushing and lovey dovey and crying omg i love you to anyone nearby. Like no you don't understand! I LOOOVE love you! I'm sure hubby felt like a stud lol.

sad when i realized i would just be talking to my fat and there was no one to talk to in my tummy (baby wasn't near me after birth).

No one said my bottomhole would move to my lower back







That scared the crud out of me! I guess I was THAT swollen.

Taking it easy is NOT a recommendation and no matter how much energy you have (you get this burst of insane nesting energy) you need to ignore it and stay laying down. I went and finished painting the babies room and that was the last thing I did for several days. I was in SO much pain I couldn't even wriggle in bed without screaming. So stay in bed, do not pass go.

Riding in the car HURTS. You are so swollen. I had way too much energy and rode all over town prior to getting my butt handed to me and staying in bed. I had to buy paint after all. I'm color blind to a degree and I couldn't get the room the right color. :rollseyes


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## S.Elise (Jul 1, 2009)

1. breastfeeding and sleep deprivation might hurt a lot more than labor

2. its wonderful to have family members around to help, but its your house and your baby, so set limits on how much you'll let them push you around in exchange for their help

3. lactation consultants are wonderful...have the numbers of a few local ones on hand


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## madeofstardust (Mar 20, 2008)

You might love your little newborn in the way that, you just gave birth to the person and you should love them. I wasn't head over heels for my DD until she was probably 6 months old or so...I felt love for her, but it wasn't intense and it wasn't anything like I thought it would be. I love her totally now, but it's still not that big huge love I expected to feel.

The first time I peed after giving birth it was almost as bad as labor itself. I hadn't drank much water during/after labor, and it burned SO BAD. I was crying on the toilet trying not to pee. Seriously, drink as much water as you possibly can to dilute the acidity of your urine. This is seriously one of the only thing that scares me about having baby #2.

I felt like a crazed hormonal teenager 2 days post partum. I wanted to DTD ALL.THE.TIME. We made it to 3 1/2 weeks, and haven't kept our hands of off each other since.

No one told me that post partum sex might be WAY better than the pre-baby stuff. It was a lot like losing my virginity again, and it felt like the only things that got stretched out were the _good_ parts


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## LiLStar (Jul 7, 2006)

Even without any tearing, peeing was excruciating unless I sat in a bath tub of water. Sitz bath didn't cut it either, because I was in a different position. I had to sit in the tub with my legs out in front of me. I also coudln't pee at all immediately after the birth. I was googling for tips for hours trying everything! (didn't have peppermint oil so i couldn't try that) My midwife had to come back over and give me a foley, and 1600cc came out







I kept it in for a day.


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## cloudgazer (Dec 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4JMJ* 
"do the deed"

Ahh, thanks.

Not to be snarky, but this is kind of abbreviation to the extreme & is confusing to newcomers like myself. I mean SEX has the same # of letters. (or is that word taboo?)


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Nobody told me:

* breastfeeding would be worse than labor and more agonizing - but totally worth every second
* that my c-section meant that for the next 3+ mo, I would be wearing granny panties (I hate those things!)
* afterpains! Nobody even mentions those!
* sex after a c-section SUCKS. Most positions do nothing but remind you of your scar, and you're so horribly tight and dry.... yuck. We didn't have comfortable sex for months.
* post-c-section, you feel like your insides are going to fall out every time you move. I had a towel wrapped around my belly just to move from the bed to a chair.
* your scar is EXACTLY where baby likes kicking while they nurse.
* PPD might not show up for months, so keep watch!

That's kinda a sad list.... I'm trying to come up with a positive to my postpartum period with DS, but there's not much.

I'm excited to actually get to hold my baby after my HBAC this time! And take a shower after giving birth! What a luxury!


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

I wish someone would have told me it would feel like my guts were going to fall out. I got up and walked around about an hour after labor and I thought my entire stomach area was going to drop off the front of my body.


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## RedPony (May 24, 2005)

That natural birth can leave you feeling as tho you'd been hit by a semi-trailer truck! It was six - eight weeks before I could move w/o pain after having my first daughter. Most of it was muscle pain in my _upper_ body!


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## muaythai49 (Feb 2, 2010)

I agree with a lot of other posts - So much useless advice: our daughter was only a few weeks old and we were "spoiling" her because we held her so much. I wish that someone had told me that my in-laws didn't think that a mother had any special importance in a child's life, I think the cultural differences were the hardest because they did a 180 as soon as Isa was born. I couldn't get them out of the house and when they were here, it was as if I wasn't allowed to hold my daughter. Having never experienced this before and not liking conflict, it took me a long time to find my voice. My husband, having grown up in this environment, found nothing wrong with this and it was a constant battle, to the point that I almost left him when our daughter was 2 months old. But we stuck it out and he is now very compassionate and wonderful partner and father. I don't know what changed but I wish I could have had a few days to bond with my daughter and get to know her before the swarm of people came and tried to (what felt like) take her from me. I have never felt more alone, disrespected and taken advantage of then at that time, and it was from people who were supposed to be supportive and caring. I don't know that I'll have another child if the experience might be the same as it was. I am grateful for the present, the health of my daughter and for our current situation and continue to process through the trauma. Though I can celebrate now, I feel like one of the greatest, most important experiences in my life was stolen from me.


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## muaythai49 (Feb 2, 2010)

.


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## Gena 22 (Jul 3, 2008)

How much help you'll need your first night at home.

Maybe it was just because we had twins and a homebirth, but I didn't plan anything for the first night. My mom, DH and I were exhausted from labor. Thank G*D my in-laws came. They didn't even ask, they just descended, stayed in our guest room and brought the babies to me whenever someone needed feeding. I never changed a meconium diaper, it was perfect.


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## channelofpeace (Jul 14, 2005)

I don't know if it is a common experience, but after all four of my births (two c-sections and two vaginal births) I would have these bouts where I would get the chills really severely. It happened maybe 5 to 7 days PP, mostly at night (though there were a couple of times when it happened during the day). It was very weird- my teeth would start chattering, I would shiver so hard my muscles hurt (especially after my c-sections, that hurt so bad!). I would wrap myself in the thickest blanket I could find and it would pass in about 5 or 10 minutes. I don't know if it was a hormonal thing, but it was really unpleasant.


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## desertgirl01 (Nov 11, 2009)

That my vagina's appearance would frighten me! Another poster said don't look...there's no way I could not look, but dang, I just had NO idea parts could get that swollen and um, open.

That I would be scared to poop...after the birth I swore I'd never poop again, was even scared to eat. Thanks to stool softeners, it wasn't half as bad as I had imagined...

That I would be so incredibly sore, all over. As the previous poster said, felt like I'd been hit by a semitruck. For some reason, I expected just to be sore "down there" but EVERY single muscle everywhere hurt. Blinking hurt!

What surprised me most of all was how relaxed I was with my newborn. Once she was born, every worry I had totally disappeared and I actually felt like I was born to be a mother and knew just what to do. That went hand in hand with the total and absolute instant love I had for her. Both of those feelings were a great relief since I never grew up wanting children, didn't like to be around kids or babies, and all during pregnancy felt rather ambivelant about being a mother.


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## Masel (Apr 14, 2008)

I had those chills too. It was a remarkably rainy and miserable October so I just thought that was it.

I didn't expect my feet to hurt so much after giving birth. LOL I spent a good chunk of my labor walking. A lot of it was barefoot or slippers instead of comfy track shoes I was afraid messing up.

I really could have used more help with my older child. She wanted to be right on top of me and I get why she wanted to be close but I just didn't a square inch of skin left to spare anyone.

The hunger, thirst and need do pee do not mean you have diabetes or that the gestational diabetes didn't go away! My mom kept hounding me not to eat and drink so much. I earned that brownie!


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Oh, I forgot one thing - I never expected to wake up in puddles of milk and sweat for MONTHS after DS was born! It took me forever to find a system that worked for nighttimes where we didn't both wake up wet and smelling of sour breastmilk!


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cloudgazer* 
Ahh, thanks.

Not to be snarky, but this is kind of abbreviation to the extreme & is confusing to newcomers like myself. I mean SEX has the same # of letters. (or is that word taboo?)

This is off-topic, but I totally agree! I don't like euphemisms for sex, anyway.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Oh, I forgot one thing - I never expected to wake up in puddles of milk and sweat for MONTHS after DS was born! It took me forever to find a system that worked for nighttimes where we didn't both wake up wet and smelling of sour breastmilk!

Hah, yes! The first morning that I woke up soaked w/ urine (thankfully, hers), sweat, and breastmilk (I leaked so much that I totally soaked through the lansinoh disposable pads overnight), I thought, "huh, I guess I'm officially a mother now."









Finally, I just want to add my voice to the others recommending stool softeners (or fiber or _something_). I was sore after labor, but that was nothing compared to how horrible I felt after one particularly awful bowel movement a week or so PP. The pain from that (I don't know if I actually had a fissure, or if it reopened an internal laceration from labor, or what) lasted about 6 weeks, and I didn't feel totally "safe" pooping for months. Ugh.


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## jecombs (Mar 6, 2008)

I wish someone had told me that even if you had a completely unmedicated, natural, vaginal birth, it would still be hard to remember how to pee afterwards! It was like my muscles just couldn't remember what to do to let the pee come out. Next time I will definitely try to peppermint oil trick!

I also wish someone could explain to me how my upper body could be sooo sore when the baby did not come out anywhere near that area. I felt like I had over-done it at the gym for weeks.

That I would get less rest at the hospital than I would at home. It seemed like everytime DD and I would fall asleep a nurse, ped, or MW would come and want something from us. I left there totally exhausted.


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## milansmommy (Sep 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *channelofpeace* 
I don't know if it is a common experience, but after all four of my births (two c-sections and two vaginal births) I would have these bouts where I would get the chills really severely. It happened maybe 5 to 7 days PP, mostly at night (though there were a couple of times when it happened during the day). It was very weird- my teeth would start chattering, I would shiver so hard my muscles hurt (especially after my c-sections, that hurt so bad!). I would wrap myself in the thickest blanket I could find and it would pass in about 5 or 10 minutes. I don't know if it was a hormonal thing, but it was really unpleasant.

Finally someone else that this happened to! It happened to me once during my pregnancy and a few times during labor. It was so unpleasant and I couldn't move I was so cold even with blankets on me. I had to have the heater on me full blast. It also happened after my first birth.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Immediately after:

1) That I would pee out most of the extra fluids I was carrying within an hour of birth.
(I wasn't retaining a lot of water; I could still wear all my rings. But you put on 50% more blood volume to support the baby's circulation, and even though I was peeing about every 20 minutes during labor, I was amazed by the racehorse-like bathroom visit the first time I got up after my kids were born.

2) How HUNGRY I would be right afterwards. I think I handed both babies off to DH after their first nursings, the better to STUFF MY OWN FACE

3) Leaving a blood trail from the bed to the bathroom. Ew. The books describe it as "Like a heavy period," but man, mine have never been THAT heavy.

4) Even if you feel GRAND a week after giving birth, your pelvic ligaments may not have tightened back up. Going for a 2-mile walk, even a leisurely one, may feel good for mile 1, but by the end of mile two you MIGHT just feel your pelvic bones grating against each other


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## Channelle (May 14, 2008)

How big my feet swelled! Seriously, like three times bigger than normal, I couldn't fit any of my shoes or socks, had to wear my husband's shoes, sans socks! And they stayed swollen for over 2 weeks! 6 weeks postpartum, they still feel a little swollen every once in a while.

And I was SO worried about the first bowel movement, and just took one stool softener and drank a glass of plumb juice morning and night, and three days after birth, I had my first bowel movement, and it was an absolute piece of cake. Actually it was almost heavenly, as my stomach hurt it was so full of poop!

Oh, and my arms hurt worse than ANYTHING after birth, because I used them to pull up my legs while giving birth on my back, and pushing for 3 hours! My arms were so tired and sore, I couldn't even pick up or hold my baby for like 2 or 3 days, or it hurt really bad to do so!

When the baby is first born, they sleep really good at first, so take advantage of the sleep for the first week or so, because soon after it's like the baby becomes more demanding, and you only get a couple hours of sleep every night. And DEFINITELY do what everyone tells you to do, REST after birth, for the first couple weeks, do NOTHING except lounge in bed with baby, no housework at all.

And my biggest shocks of all is that I cried so much the following day or two after birth, I was SUPER emotional, and I was so sure that I was going to breastfeed that I didn't even plan for a bottle baby, and refused to entertain the notion of it. Well she was born with latch issues, and breastfeeding has pretty much gone out the window, she wouldn't latch, my supply dropped, and pumping sucks. Yeah that made me cry the hardest...basically be prepared and at least prepare yourself that maybe not everything will turn out how you want.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

I too, felt like I'd been hit by a truck two days afterwards. I had Pitocin but no pain meds, and those contractions were intense. I remember trying to relax my shoulders with every.single.contraction, but I still ended up feeling super sore in my shoulders and back two days later. This was right when the hormones were really doing a number on me, too, so it was hard.


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## Comtessa (Sep 16, 2008)

I wish someone would have warned me that I'd have trouble breathing after giving birth! I pushed flat on my back (







) for more than four hours, pulling my legs up with my arms. My chest muscles were absolutely pushed beyond their endurance, and it hurt to breathe for days after that. I didn't make the connection for a while, though, and I was scared that I was struggling to breathe - I thought I had seriously injured something, or was having some weird complication.

I didn't realize just how physically and emotionally overwhelming my letdown would be once my milk came in. For the first few weeks, I would burst into tears every time my milk let down. Nobody prepared me for that!

I wish someone had warned DH just how much of an emotional rollercoaster the first few months would be. I was a hormonal mess - it was like three months of the worst PMS ever. Yuck!!!


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

what surprised me was:

-how much peeing could BURN!
-how my first BM was just as bad as giving birth!! (take those stool softeners) It was 10 days before I could go...omg
-That the muscles down there feel like they have gone to mush. I had to relearn how to go to the bathroom
-That I got ZERO after pains
-That I swelled up AFTER giving birth and none in my pregnancy
-How GREAT that first pp shower would feel
-How great I would feel just 3 days after birth, I seriously thought I could run a marathon
-How I woke up drenched in sweat every single night
-How emotional everything was. You only needed to look in my direction and I would start bawling
-How much hair would fall out even up till 4 months later!!!


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

I third the "do not look down thar" advice. Gory.

Also, prepare yourself to languish like a Victorian woman decked in ruffles for a few weeks. My version of "not taking it easy" was getting up for ten minutes... whereupon I blacked out in the shower. Next time I'm not even going to THINK about being the superwoman who slings her baby and walks to the organic market two days after the birth... I'm going to plan on utter sloth.







I felt kind of silly being so feeble after birth, but combine labor with sleep deprivation and I really had no more energy than required for going to the bathroom and breastfeeding.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

bump!


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## veryerin (Jul 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smokering* 
I third the "do not look down thar" advice. Gory.

Also, prepare yourself to languish like a Victorian woman decked in ruffles for a few weeks. My version of "not taking it easy" was getting up for ten minutes... whereupon I blacked out in the shower. Next time I'm not even going to THINK about being the superwoman who slings her baby and walks to the organic market two days after the birth... I'm going to plan on utter sloth.







I felt kind of silly being so feeble after birth, but combine labor with sleep deprivation and I really had no more energy than required for going to the bathroom and breastfeeding.


Yes. I had an uncomplicated, unmedicated natural birth. Only had a tiny tear. And I couldn't carry a laundry basket or walk up stairs without blacking out for the first two weeks. I walked around the block after two weeks and felt like I was going to die. And this is from someone who exercised the entire pregnancy. This time I know to give myself a few weeks before trying to do, well, anything.


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

I was surprised at just how swollen everything was after the birth. It felt really weird (and painful!) to walk around.

I was also surprised at how difficult it was to pee the first time. A trick my mom told me worked with both of my labors. Put water in a cup, put a straw in, blow into the straw as you try to pee. It relaxed me and I peed pretty easily after that. Phew.

Use your peri bottle! Really! Spray while you pee.

I ate tons of raisins to help with the first bowel movement after birth and that worked.

I was surprised that my 2 year old suddenly looked like a giant kid next to the tiny newborn I was holding.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

That I would get severe cramping every time I BF, man it felt like labor pains all over again. When I had DS2 at the hospital I requested a heat pack and they looked at me like I was an alien and brought back a warm wet wash cloth in a garbage bag. Not sure what they thought that was going to do.

Oh and that I would be wearing maternity clothes for weeks after having the baby.


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## majormajor (Nov 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Nobody told me:

* breastfeeding would be worse than labor and more agonizing - but totally worth every second
* that my c-section meant that for the next 3+ mo, I would be wearing granny panties (I hate those things!)
* afterpains! Nobody even mentions those!
* sex after a c-section SUCKS. Most positions do nothing but remind you of your scar, and you're so horribly tight and dry.... yuck. We didn't have comfortable sex for months.
* post-c-section, you feel like your insides are going to fall out every time you move. I had a towel wrapped around my belly just to move from the bed to a chair.
* your scar is EXACTLY where baby likes kicking while they nurse.
* PPD might not show up for months, so keep watch!

That's kinda a sad list.... I'm trying to come up with a positive to my postpartum period with DS, but there's not much.

I'm excited to actually get to hold my baby after my HBAC this time! And take a shower after giving birth! What a luxury!










i had a c/s too (two actually) and not all of this was true for me (not to be contrary, just another perspective!!).

i had such easy recoveries that i overdid it after #2 was born (back to my regular routine within 2 weeks pp, including wearing my newborn for a 3 hour trip downtown). so, my bleeding, which was totally gone, came back. it was about 8 weeks until all of the spotting was entirely gone.

other than that, i never felt any incision pain. i could nurse without a pillow and didn't feel anything, and getting up and down was fine. i mean, it hurt to use my abs for a week or so, but just that one second. oh, well, laughing hurt! i remember after DD1 was born i had to turn off arrested development because it hurt too much to laugh.

sex was another story though! it didn't hurt my incision, just my vagina. but i am one of those women who goes DEEPLY into that pseudo-menopause of nursing, so being dry with the thin vaginal walls was the problem. DD2 is 20 mos old yet and i still haven't gotten my period back. i still have problems with dryness, too. and desire... poor DH!

i wasn't expecting to have so much milk! i also didn't realize the side i wasn't nursing on would spray like it did. a bit shocking the first time! oh, or how BIG my boobs would be when my milk came in. i felt like i'd gone to the hospital for a tummy tuck and a boob job! 

it's different for everyone of course, but it can be super easy and blissful like it was for me.


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## mummy marja (Jan 19, 2005)

-it's not always love at first sight. That's ok, let it happen. It will.
-crazy night sweats for the first month. Kept extra shirts by the bed and slept on a towel!
--Pooing is very scary. Use a wad of toilet paper pressed against your perineum, that helps!
--Pregnant mom hunger is NOTHING compared to nursing mom hunger! You're feeding an even bigger baby now. You'll also be extremely thirsty.

I think the most important thing I wish I'd been told was that everything's going to be okay. It's a huge adjustment, even if you've done it before. Be gentle with yourself.


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## laughymama (Oct 14, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Addie* 

*And breastfeeding - I wish someone had told me that it can be really difficult at time, it may not be intuitive, and it can hurt! I was dedicated to breastfeeding, and I guess I thought it would develop naturally - and for me, that wasn't the case. It has gotten so much better, but I struggled at first, and I couldn't help but feel incompetent. The standard line from LCs and other professionals seems to be, "breastfeeding doesn't hurt, and if it does hurt, you're doing something wrong."* Well, for me, it just hurt for a few weeks. I did seek help and we addressed some things, but for goodness sakes - you're using a sensitive part of your body in a completely new way, and you're not a failure if it hurts for a bit!


Definitely. I had no one there to tell me that the first weeks are the hardest. I ended up stopping because I was told by a Nurse/LC that "Some babies and mothers just aren't compatible for bfing."









Also, no one told me about the TUMOR FEELING! I felt like I was walking around with a tennis ball attached to my perineum for a week. Freaked me out at first.

...And now I'm really glad I didn't decide to take a peek down there, I considered it but figured it would only freak me out.


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## Catubodua (Apr 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dannic* 
I knew I'd still have a bit of a belly, but no one told me it'd be like a 6 mos pregnant belly. sigh.










this!

how is it possible i weighed 171 right before giving birth, and i now weigh 165? i gave birth to an 8.4 lb baby - it should at least be down 8 pounds!


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## JTA Mom (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thalia* 
Another thing I forgot: it may be hard to pee immediately afterwards, even though you may really want to.

Some advice I got here which worked:

Have peppermint essential oil with you at the birth. When you go to pee the first time, put a few drops of oil into the toilet water. Drink some orange juice, and then sit on the toilet and let the vapors from the oil help your muscles relax.

The first time I tried this it didn't work (that was the time I almost fainted), but I tried again a little later and it really helped.

I used a peri-bottle. Fill with warm water, spray at the urethra area and 'relax'. The warm liquid 'tricked' my body into thinking it was peeing, so it did. I was cathetered during labor and it felt like I had had a dagger up there! Like a really bad UTI for a week. UGH.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
Nobody told me:

* post-c-section, you feel like your insides are going to fall out every time you move. I had a towel wrapped around my belly just to move from the bed to a chair.

OMG, yes, this! What is worse is that after the c/s, because I had to be put under general anesthesia, I had to blow into a lung thing to 'strengthen' my lungs. No one told me about holding a pillow to my belly while doing this. I thought my stitches would come out and all my insides would be on the floor! Coughing hurt, walking felt like everything was going to tear, forget laughing! If I have another c/s or birth naturally, I am totally investing in some belly binding this time.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MaterPrimaePuellae* 
Hah, yes! The first morning that I woke up soaked w/ urine (thankfully, hers), sweat, and breastmilk (I leaked so much that I totally soaked through the lansinoh disposable pads overnight), I thought, "*huh, I guess I'm officially a mother now."








*

Finally, I just want to add my voice to the others recommending stool softeners (or fiber or _something_). I was sore after labor, but that was nothing compared to how horrible I felt after one particularly awful bowel movement a week or so PP. The pain from that (I don't know if I actually had a fissure, or if it reopened an internal laceration from labor, or what) lasted about 6 weeks, and I didn't feel totally "safe" pooping for months. Ugh.

Yea, I said that when I didn't get the diaper on my EBF newborn fast enough once and got sprayed with poop. Now, I'm not even phased by poop.









As for the pooping, I was so happy when I went! All the gas and poop build up is AWFUL. I felt like my insides were going to explode, I felt so backed up. First time in my life where I didn't care who I farted near. It was either fart or die.









*after pains are the dickens. Ds was in NICU after being born, so as soon as I was able, I was pumping 2hrs round the clock. I'd time it so that my 'meds' would come right after pumping.

*morphine is USELESS against c/s pain management. For me, anyways. I had to beg for ibuprofen. Oh, sweet sweet ibuprofen, may your inventor be blessed with a million blessings.









*That your milk will come in when it comes in AND that it's unmistakeable. Mine took 5 days to come in. I was losing hope. Until I woke up from a nap and felt like I had a 25lb weight on my chest and like I was walking on the sun.

*That let down makes me itchy. Gah.

*REST. REST. REST. Seriously, REST. This time around, I'm freezing tons of food and me, the new baby and ds will be lounging in bed for at least a week. Sleep, bf, change diape, repeat.

*That it's okay for dh to take over consoling a colicky newborn if it means 4 hours of sleep. Had I listened to this I wouldn't have been re-hospitalized at 2 weeks PP. I just needed to rest.

*


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