# TLC's 'A Baby Story'- ugh!



## eirual (Mar 21, 2006)

so i caught the tail end of TLC's 'A Baby Story'.....how frustrating!

Mom and Dad brought Baby home and the baby cried and cried all through the night. The only thing they did about it was complain, they left the babe swaddled in the basinett and would ocassionally rub/pat his back and give him his soother. They didn't pick him up, they didn't feed him, they didn't change him, they did nothing! As if they're going to get any sleep with a crying baby, take care of what's making him sad- make him happy and he'll settle, it wasn't like he was colicy or anything, likely just lonely. So anyways, baby finally falls asleep at 5:45 then the next day they have this 2 day old baby hunched over in a fisher price ocean wonders bouncy chair (meant for at least 2 mos+)- he's staring off into space like 'oh my god this sucks' and mom and dad are sitting there gawking over him. Pick him up, he's a baby!!

argh, frustrating! had to vent....i think i'm cut off from shows like that!


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## MrsTC (Nov 18, 2005)

I can't watch shows like that anymore either. There is another bad one they have (had?? I haven't watched it in some time, it may be off the air, I dunno) about "Bringing Home Baby." I LMAO at these parents who rush around, three days PP, trying to get stuff done instead of sleeping while their new baby does...then watching them try to get a brand new baby "sleep trained," when it's up all night long. Poor people...

The only birth show I bother watching anymore is that "House of Babies" on the discovery channel. I love, love, love seeing mamas do it the natural way, supported by women and their partners.

Tresa


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

*As if they're going to get any sleep with a crying baby, take care of what's making him sad- make him happy and he'll settle.*

No shit. I've never understood why people don't get that extremely basic concept. Crying baby=no sleep for anyone. Calm, peaceful, fed, sleeping baby=happiness all around. DUH.

*I LMAO at these parents who rush around, three days PP, trying to get stuff done instead of sleeping while their new baby does...then watching them try to get a brand new baby "sleep trained," when it's up all night long.*

I was one of the nutjobs who never slept when the baby did, but I wouldn't dream of sleep training. I always sleep 4-5 hours/night new baby or not so having a new baby around really never was that different for me. All 3 of mine started sleeping through around 6-8 weeks on their own which made DH happy since he needs a lot more sleep than I do. I didn't really care either way, except that it's a lot easier to get things done around the house when you don't have to stop to feed the baby in the middle of it.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Ugh. tell my MIL that - she'd much rather go to increasing lengths in entertaining a fussy baby than hand her to me for a quick feed or a nap.

There's a reason why this child is so content and happy, people, and it DOESN'T involve her grizzling for hours on end from hunger/tired, etc.

Why are people so afraid of holding babies?


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## Lazyhead (Mar 27, 2006)

when my dd was a babe we held her ALOT and my mom was always chiding me about it saying "if you don't put that baby down you'll never be able to put her down..." to which i would say, "well then it's good that there are lots of arms around that WANT to hold her!" i left dd with my mom once to go to the grocery store awhen dd was still really little. i was gone for less than an hour and when i came back my mom had stuck her in the bouncy chair with a pacifier! she brought her own pacifier! i was so mad! who doesn't want to hold a week old baby? especially a grandparent!


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wannabe*
Why are people so afraid of holding babies?

That's the million $ question...


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## Moochie Mamma (Jan 23, 2006)

OMG I had to respond to this. My mom is like that- whenever she's over she either holds baby for a couple minutes then says "let's put her in her saucer". I say no, she likes to be held, I only use the saucer to keep her safe and happy when I can't hold her (like in the shower). There's no need to put her in it when she's so happy to be held and played with. Either this or the other extreme: baby is fussy and I know she's needing to eat, my mom keeps bouncing her, making faces, silly voices etc to try to calm her down (which only makes baby more upset) when I'm standing there with my arms out saying please give her to me- she needs to eat, not be bounced all over the room.


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## Ashleigh's Mommy (Apr 7, 2006)

Stuff like that angers me! Why didn't TLC'S crew tell them the baby needs food!? moron people!


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## MommyTorf (Nov 9, 2004)

That show makes me gag too. I have never figured out how the couples get on the show when they aren't even smart enough to pick up one book (or talk to other mamas) about life with a babe!

I always feel the urge to yell, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, *HOLD* THAT BABY!!!!!" when I hear/see tiny little babies crying in their stroller/bucket combinations when I'm shopping.


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## Finch (Mar 4, 2005)

I never watch that show. All I do is yell at the t.v..


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## TexasSuz (Mar 4, 2002)

I will *never* undestand why people don't want to hold their babies. When mine where newborns I DID NOT WANT TO PUT THEM DOWN! I held them while they slept, nursed, and played. Now my little one is off and crawling and I wish she would let me hold her more. So sad...


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Not even going to read the post. Just from the title I have fantastic advice:

Don't watch that show. Ever. Period.

Or Dr.90210 or Bringing home baby or Super Nanny....

(Now, because even though I know better, train wrecks are fascinating, I'll go ahead and read what stupidity they showed this time.)


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## Mama8 (Mar 6, 2006)

Why are the "older" generation so afraid to hold babies?
Dr Spock
Where as I like reading Dr Sears.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

In general I agree...these shows aren't the most AP thing on TV. (by a long shot







)

But....I saw an episode of Bringing Home Baby the other day and the mother was wearing the little one in a sling and the night-time camera showed the little one in a side-car. The new mama was also breastfeeding and had a doula over to the house to assist with nursing. So not every episode is a tear jerker!

While the majority of episodes provide a very "mainstream" image of parenting, some episodes do provide alternatives. And that may be the first exposure some people get to wearing babies, or using a doula, or birthing in a tub.

That said...I guess we have a looooong way to go before the common sense elements of natural family living get anything near equal air time. Which is really too bad since as the pps have mentioned, so much of the frustration shown by the new parents in thses shows could be healed by a simple "why don't you pick that little on up and nurse them?"


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## BensMom (May 4, 2002)

OMG! I thought my MIL was a lone nutjob. She is always bugging us to bring the baby up to see her and we finally made it up there last weekend. I was holding Elly, she was happy as can be. MIL says (out of the blue) "do you think she would like to lay down on my bed alone?" I look at her like she had 2 heads. Why? She wasnt being fussy and she really does like to have someone to look at, so I dont think she would have been happy alone in a strange environ, but MIL kept on. All I could think was "you bug us about seeing your grandaughter and then you want to lock her away in a room?!!??!!"

Weird. I guess you are right. I do think Spock freaked out an entire generation and made them feel like holding a baby is bad.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I put my baby down more than I'd like, because I have some minor neck & back problems (worse since my last #$(*&# c-section) and he's a bit heavy - plus I have to hold dd, too! But, if it weren't for that (and cooking) I'd probably hold him about 13 hours a day...that would leave 8 for sleeping (with me) and 3 for misc. (diaper changes, floor time, etc.). I'm lucky - my mom likes to hold them, too...and never gives me grief when I say it's time for him to nurse.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

It's like watching a train wreck, I swear. I saw that episode too and had to







as the time was going by on the screen and the parents were still in the bed







Then the next day they are complaining about how bad the baby slept









Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombatclay*
While the majority of episodes provide a very "mainstream" image of parenting, some episodes do provide alternatives. And that may be the first exposure some people get to wearing babies, or using a doula, or birthing in a tub.









I've seen a couple of good ones where the parents are definately not mainstream, but they are few and far between. I like the House of Babies show too... but they don't show much after the baby is born, it's more focused on labor/delivery. It would be nice to have a show that follows more AP parents in the few days after delivery.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:

I do think Spock freaked out an entire generation and made them feel like holding a baby is bad.
Actually, I read my MIL's copy of Spock recently, and in amongst the horror he quite specifically said it is OK, and actually quite nice to hold your baby whenever you wish. I read it out in gales of laughter, but my MIL said he was revolutionary in saying that - before then you were NOT allowed to hold your baby except to feed them.

Don't start me on the rest of that book, though!

Quote:

who doesn't want to hold a week old baby? especially a grandparent!
I know!!!! I think that's why my MIL won't let me feed her when she's fussy.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Incidentally, the very first piece of parenting advice I remember getting from my mother was "ignore any idiot who tells you not to hold your baby."


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## mommabean3 (Apr 2, 2006)

:


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## ollineeba (Apr 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*
Incidentally, the very first piece of parenting advice I remember getting from my mother was "ignore any idiot who tells you not to hold your baby."










I'm glad that was the sentiment from my mother as well..
Every new mother should hear that.


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## bookwitch (Jun 30, 2005)

Yikes!
I hate that.
See, things like this are why I hate to see babies in those car seat thingies that pull out of the base for carriers. For one thing, they're HEAVY. For another thing, it really disturbs me that the baby is not being CARRIED, held, and cuddled. It's like they're a piece of luggage!

And sleep training? Gah, don't get me started. If a 2 day old baby could sleep 12 hours at a stretch....grrrrr.

You know, I'm very liberal, and I'm the furthest thing from a bookburner you could ever find, but there is a book in the bookstore I work in that I want to throw every time I see it. (I think the title is something like "12 hours by 12 weeks" or something insane like that. I woke up in a panick the first time my baby (now almost 4 years old.) slept more than 4 hours! I was sure something was wrong.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombatclay*
While the majority of episodes provide a very "mainstream" image of parenting, some episodes do provide alternatives. And that may be the first exposure some people get to wearing babies, or using a doula, or birthing in a tub.

the first time i ever watched one of those shows it was a woman giving birth in her bathtub







i loved it. so i watched it again when it came on and was soooo disgusted i avoided it after that. ugh. and then i caught one at the end where this one woman was in labor, laying flat on her back with legs up in stirrups screaming and crying completely naked and the sOB broke her water and it went *everywhere* and she started screaming harder. omg! i was beyond traumatized. i was newly pregnant with sandrel and i became determined to not let that happen to me. and began my search for alternatives that led me to mdc...
so i guess some good has come of its horrific-ness.

but im not allowed to watch it, or anything having to do with birth on tv now. i get too riled up.


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## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

i watch the show just cuz it makes me cry







:

but i see waht the op is saying









sometimes i wonder, is how the show is cut?


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## eirual (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:

I hate to see babies in those car seat thingies that pull out of the base for carriers. For one thing, they're HEAVY. For another thing, it really disturbs me that the baby is not being CARRIED, held, and cuddled. It's like they're a piece of luggage!
Just a note on this. I carry my baby in the sling every chance i get, especially while out- It's nice to have him right there and close, and I find it much easier to get around- beats trying to navigate a freackin' stroller around a small crowded store! And he enjoys it more too- getting to look around and see where he's going, not just the ceiling and where he's been.

Howver, if we've already been in and out of the car a few times that day, and my son's at the end of his rope with all the transitions, or is obviously tired and fallen asleep on the way, I will just leave him in his carseat and put it in the stroller- that's where he's happiest then. (with the exception of the grocery store- he LOVES the grocery store no matter how sleepy he was, and i tend to wander from the cart, so having him in there in a seat wouldn't be okay) So i know, i get frustrated with parents who leave their kids in their carseats too, but you never know the situation, so please, be careful who you judge. some mamas are just doing what's best for their baby at the time.

I was thinking the other day- wouldnt' it be nice if you could just sit in the back middle seat where there are no airbags, and buckle yourself in, but just wear you baby?? I asked my husband if it would be wrong, but i guess it would be....better safe then sorry right?


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## loveandkindness (Feb 1, 2005)

I can't bite my tongue sometimes when I should. I was in the grocery store with DD (almost 3) and there was a woman pushing a cart with a babyseat in it. The baby looked to be 5-6 months old and was screaming from the moment they came in the store. After going up and down a few aisles at the same time, DD said very loudly, "mama, why is that baby crying so much?" and I answered VERY LOUDLY, "Because his mama isn't picking him up. He needs to be picked up"

She didn't pick him up the entire shopping trip







I probably should have offered to hold him for her while she finished her shopping, but I figured she would deck me


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## splash (Aug 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsTC*
I can't watch shows like that anymore either. There is another bad one they have (had?? I haven't watched it in some time, it may be off the air, I dunno) about "Bringing Home Baby." I LMAO at these parents who rush around, three days PP, trying to get stuff done instead of sleeping while their new baby does...then watching them try to get a brand new baby "sleep trained," when it's up all night long. Poor people...

The only birth show I bother watching anymore is that "House of Babies" on the discovery channel. I love, love, love seeing mamas do it the natural way, supported by women and their partners.

Tresa

I used to like house of babies... until the midwife was piercing a baby's ears before they sent her home. And the baby was screaming and the midwife said "It's just the price you have to pay to be beautiful"

that was the end of that show for us.


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## zansmama (Feb 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan*

Don't watch that show. Ever. Period.

Or Dr.90210 or Bringing home baby or Super Nanny....



OMG, Super Nanny is absolutely the most horrible show! It makes me SO mad, every time







: telling parents NOT to sleep with their children, or trying to force them to play in a "structured" way. Granted, some of these parents don't really have a handle on their kids, but i've seen at least two episodes where the mother was wonderful, caring and easygoing, and the nanny made her leave the kids in bed to cry to sleep, rushed her around instead of letting her just hang with the kids... arrrgh!!! (dh just tells me not to watch it)
Incidentally, I just had lunch with a rich acquaintance who, among other scary things, sends her 18 month-old to daycare (she doesn't work),doesn't co-sleep, and nursed to 3 months. She was lamenting to me about how he wants to sleep in his big brother's bed ...
I told her: "oh, it's really good for them! I've read about that. "







at least the poor little guy will have SOME contact.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *poxybat*
the first time i ever watched one of those shows it was a woman giving birth in her bathtub







i loved it. so i watched it again when it came on and was soooo disgusted i avoided it after that. ugh. and then i caught one at the end where this one woman was in labor, laying flat on her back with legs up in stirrups screaming and crying completely naked and the sOB broke her water and it went *everywhere* and she started screaming harder. omg! i was beyond traumatized. i was newly pregnant with sandrel and i became determined to not let that happen to me. and began my search for alternatives that led me to mdc...
so i guess some good has come of its horrific-ness.

How is it that some people watch those shows and *don't* get that "I should find out more" feeling?

I mean, I try to be understanding of different backgrounds and such, but the only explanation I could see for watching a woman screaming while strapped down and thinking 'gosh, birth looks hard, too bad that's what I'm going to do, oh well' is that the watcher is a complete and utter moron.


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## hypnohobbit (Feb 16, 2006)

Because...I can't figure it out? I thought it was tender loving care, maybe it's tough-love cruelty or something. Anyways, PICK THAT BABY UP!!! I stopped watching those shows along time ago. My mother would watch and get pissed off and I still couldn't convince her that they just weren't worth watching.

Anyways...off of my









Quote:

I can't bite my tongue sometimes when I should. I was in the grocery store with DD (almost 3) and there was a woman pushing a cart with a babyseat in it. The baby looked to be 5-6 months old and was screaming from the moment they came in the store. After going up and down a few aisles at the same time, DD said very loudly, *"mama, why is that baby crying so much?" and I answered VERY LOUDLY, "Because his mama isn't picking him up. He needs to be picked up"*








:


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Quote:

I thought it was tender loving care, maybe it's tough-love cruelty or something
Sadly, it's The Learning Channel


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## hypnohobbit (Feb 16, 2006)

oh yeah!







I don't watch tv anymore!


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## leafwood (Jun 15, 2004)

Before I had dd I was able to watch those baby stories, now they make me insane with anger. I don't get it. Thankfully my Mom was a huge source of support and encouraged me to use my instincts regarding what dd needed. And, she needed to be held (a lot).


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## CrunchySheba (Feb 25, 2006)

Maybe they don't want to hold them as much because people are always saying that holding them too much will "spoil" them. Bull poo, spoiled or not, whenever I have my babes, I'm going to hold/sling them as much as I want to!


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