# Can't believe this is happening...



## claireb (Apr 7, 2009)

I long for the day that I come to these boards with good news.









As many of you know, after two miscarriages and infertility treatments, I became pregnant after an IUI this August. I am 11 weeks 6 days today.

At first they saw two sacs, then follow-up ultrasound showed three embryos all with heartbeats, then another follow-up ultrasound showed FOUR embroyos, all measuring well with fetal heartbeats.

Then began the downslide. The next week, one baby had died. The following week, a second baby had died. I just found out on Tuesday that the third baby has NO (literally NO) amniotic fluid. It looked perfect six days beforehand on ultrasound.

So even though that baby still has a heartbeat for now, its prognosis is 100% fetal demise. It can not survive with no amniotic fluid.

They have no answers for me. They can't tell me why my babies are dropping like flies.

I have ONE healthy baby left in there...and for how long? We don't know. The perinatologist was very "doom and gloom" when describing the situation. He explained that the chances of my miscarrying the entire pregnancy were very high since I have so much "dead fetal tissue in my uterus" (his exact words). He is afraid that my uterus will believe that I am already having a miscarriage and will begin contracting, essentially going into early labor, and thus causing me to lose the last baby in the process.

He also said there is nothing I can do either way to help or prevent this from happening.

He delivered this news in the same way someone might talk about whether it is going to rain tomorrow or not. Very cold, very disconnected, very..."Look, lady, what do you want me to do about it?" I don't have the word for that attitude, but I hope the message is getting across.

I am drowning in grief here. I can barely function. I feel like I'm just sitting here waiting for my last precious baby to die.









How do things like this happen?????????? HOW?????

I need prayers. My precious bouncing alive baby needs prayers. He's just in there, innocent and perfect, bouncing away on his placenta...I can't lose him.







Please...









My heart is breaking. How can a person survive losing five babies in ONE YEAR?????









Claire


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

No, no, no, just NO! That is so wrong & unfair.









I'm praying for all of you.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for all you have been and continue to go through.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Couldn't read and not respond









I'm so sorry. I've lost 4, but not so close together. Your little one is in my thoughts and prayers. I have everything crossed tight for your little fighter.


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## fazer6 (Jan 26, 2009)

Oh Claire I am so sorry there isn't better news for you. I'll keep everything crossed for that little peanut who seems determined to hold on. Until something shows up that last one still has a chance. I wish we could fast forward 9 months to see you holding a chubby little baby.

When's the next u/s? How often are you being monitored to see what's happening in there?


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## AbigailGrace (Aug 1, 2009)

Oh girl... I'm so, so sorry. I prayed for you this morning.... for peace and a miracle...


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## sew_crafty_girl (May 15, 2009)

Nooo! Hang on lil' baby!


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Wow... ouch







Is there possibly another doctor you could go to for hope/a second opinion? If you've got a living baby in there, there seems like there's gotta be SOME hope...








Hope that last little one sticks with you.


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## SimplyRochelle (Feb 21, 2007)

I am so sorry! My heart is breaking for you. I hope that little holds on and you get to meet that miracle baby in April and no sooner than that! You will definitely be in my thoughts over the next days and weeks. I hope the doctors find out they can't predict life!


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry.







I hope your little kicking baby in there holds on.


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

Thoughts and prayers your way. I've got nothing - I don't know. I'm just so very very sorry you're going through this.


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## tinynyota (Apr 13, 2009)

Oh, Claire, I'm so very very sorry this is happening to you. I've rarely heard of anything so cruel - and it makes me sick that your doc won't convey more compassion and hope. Because there IS hope. At the very least you have an entire online community that is, en masse, sending you love and good thoughts of resilience, strength, and survival for your bean. And I truly believe that that is a very powerful thing.


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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)

Oh no Claire, I am so so sorry. I will be sending my prayers your way for your little one to hold on.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

This is so unfair, Claire. I'll be thinking of you and your little one.
Please seeking out more supportive care. Maybe a midwife in your area could suggest a good OB?


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Oh Claire... You so don't deserve this... I am heartbroken for you.









You've been through so much, you are SO amazing and SO strong!!! Hang in there! I'm praying like crazy for you and your peanut. Please hang on little one!!!


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## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

I am so very sorry for your losses. You will be in my thoughts.


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## wookie (Dec 12, 2008)

I've been followng your journey, Claire, and I'm so sorry for you. Can they do NOTHING for no fluid? After we've had so many advances? Can you drink tons and tons of water and hope your body'll make some?









Praying for your little peanut to hang on tight...


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## feminist~mama (Mar 6, 2002)

I'm so sorry Claire!









Hang in there little baby!!!


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## AbbeyWH (Feb 3, 2009)

i am so sorry claire, you have endured so much already!

HANG ON LITTLE PEANUT!









HANG ON LITTLE PEANUT!









((((HUGS)))))


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## jtrt (Feb 25, 2009)

I am so sorry for all you have suffered, Claire....This doctor sounds incredibly negative. Why isn't it an option for your body to absorb the little ones who could not stay an option here? You are not contacting or bleeding, correct? This doctor certainly sounds "doomy and gloomy."

Claire, where there is life there is hope. Your baby is alive today. Love and nurture that precious baby. Talk and sing to him/her. I know the fear is overwhelming but push it aside as well as you can and focus every positive thought and feeling on your baby. Do not give up! Do not give in to despair!

Your baby is alive and well today. There is nothing wrong with your baby today. Your baby is healthy right now!

I don't mean to minimize your grief. I cannot know how you feel; I only know how I felt when I lost three of mine with no explanation and no help offered. There will be time to grieve. Your precious living baby needs you NOW! Your baby needs to feel your love and hope. Never never never never surrender. Do not spend a moment imagining the day you say goodbye. Spend your time imagining the day you say hello!

Easier said than done, I know. God, do I know. But you've got to do it for this little one who is hanging in there, trying so hard to get to you. This baby is strong~a survivor. Love that little baby today and tomorrow and the next day. It will be a long road but you need not walk alone.

Sending you







and









Amy


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

Claire, many, many positive thoughts coming your way.


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## teenyxirenie (Oct 22, 2008)

*


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## Bubblette (Apr 26, 2009)

Oh Claire!
I am just sick sick sick for you. I just don't have the words for how awful I feel that you're going through this. You and your two babies are in my prayers and thoughts. I'm pulling for the one that still has fluid.


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

oh claire you have been through WAY too much. it makes me sad that your doctor doesn't really have a plan for you. i looked up oligohydramnios online and it can be caused by a lot of things. how was your blood pressure? they say that high blood pressure can be a cause...also says to drink plenty of water and eat a healthy diet. diabetes/lupus/and placental issues could be possible causes as well. your doctor should be trying to figure out why this is happening. don't give up hope yet mama. you and your family are in my thoughts and even though i never pray i'm making an exception tonight, this just can't be!! i'm sending you lots of good vibes, please update when you can.







s







s







s


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## VillageMom6 (Dec 2, 2008)

I am so, so sorry for all that you're going through. Did the doctor say anything about an *amnio-infusion* as being an option? I don't know much about it or your particular circumstances, but I know that it has helped some babies.

Many prayers and (((hugs))) for you coming from Michigan.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

s Claire I am so sorry you have to go through this. Healing thoughts are being sent your way.


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## lisa_nc (Jul 25, 2008)

I am pulling for you, Claire. Please keep us updated. Big hugs, mama.


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## ladyjools (May 25, 2009)

iv been thinking about you a lot latley and sending lots of positive vibes to your little bean
i know its hard to keep hoping when you have had so much hearthache,

((((((hugs)))))))))))

Jools


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## LouisianaMomma (Mar 25, 2009)

So sorry are dealing with this. Praying for your LO to stay put.


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

Oh, Claire!


















If they can do that "selective elimination" of multiples, surely they can remove the clearly lost ones? Although that might not be the best choice for you, if it puts your live one at risk.

Any chance you could see a good Fetal Medicine specialist?

Hang in there Little One, please!


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## mischievium (Feb 9, 2003)

Oh Claire, I am so very sorry this is happening to you and your precious babies. I am sending all my prayers and positive vibes that at least one of your babies makes it. I can't imagine how hard the past several weeks have been for you and your DH and you have been through so much already, unfair seems like a completely inadequate word to describe what is happening







.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Ohhhhh NO... Oh Claire, I'm so sorry. I'm so MAD for you. And sad. I really hope that last little baby can hang on... sending lots of love and strength. I just can't believe this stuff happens... keeps happening... I so wish the very very best possible outcome at this point for you and yours...


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## notjustmamie (Mar 7, 2007)

I'm so sorry.


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## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

Praying for you and holding out hope.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

Hang on little baby!


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## mamagrove (Nov 3, 2007)

Oh, Claire, I'm so sorry! I was so sure you had already received the last of the bad news. This is so horribly unfair!









I will definitely be praying for you, you can count on it. Hang in there.


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

Claire.... Hoping and praying this little one sticks... I am so sorry, mama. You deserve so much joy... STICK, baby, STICK!


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

Oh Claire, no! I can't believe this is happening. I'm so deeply sorry. You've had to endure way more than anyone should on this journey. I've been thinking of you and praying for your babies. I will continue to pray for your little peanut who is still with you.








And your doctor makes me SO MAD! WHY can't he show a tiny bit of compassion and empathy? That is just wrong.


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Claire, hoping so hard that your little ones stay right where they should be.
I cannot believe that your OB can be so callous. If I could, I would throw something at him. What an absolute ass.
I definately agree that you should seek out different care, as a matter of urgency. I have also heard about some pretty radical treatments involving replacing the amniotic fluid etc.

But in the meantime, praying for you, your family and your little twins....
hang in there bubbas!


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

I will keep you two in my thoughts and prayers. I just don't understand this life anymore...
I hope you finally relax and have a peaceful and healthy pregnancy.


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## JayJay (Aug 1, 2008)

Ah Claire, you know you're in my deepest thoughts. My biggest hugs go to you and I hope upon hope that everything does turn out beautifully in the end, against the doctor's predictions. XXXXXXXXXX


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## dbl_my_luv (Jun 16, 2005)

Just wanted to say my prayers are with you!


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

Claire,

I wish there was more I could do or say to make this all better. My heart is hurting for you and everything you are going through. I'm rooting for the peanuts who are still with you now. With so much love.


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

Oh Claire, you are in my pg group and I wondered how you were doing. I am praying for you and your baby


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## claireb (Apr 7, 2009)

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. A million times over, thank you all for your prayers.









I am praying 24-7 for my little guys...I just hope that my babies have their parents' strength, as their father survived a brain injury that I was told was 100% fatal and I have survived...well...I have survived just about as much suffering as I can imagine.

I hope and pray that this baby knows how much we love him/her and want him/her. I can't imagine there is a more loved baby in the universe.









I also talked to a more supportive perinatologist on the phone...he was still very serious and concerned, and laid out some very grim information, but he did offer some hope, saying "as long as the last baby has a heartbeat and keeps looking healthy, there is hope."

I'll cling to that.









Please keep praying for my peanuts. Please send good thoughts. I am heartbroken and terrified...and yet trying trying trying to remain hopeful. I am already so in love with my babies.

And today...I am 12 weeks. I should be celebrating a milestone reached, not panicking about my babies dying at every moment.









I love you peanuts. You hear me?? I love you and your daddy loves you. PLEASE HANG ON.









Thank you all for your support. Please keep the prayers coming.

Claire


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claireb* 
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. A million times over, thank you all for your prayers.









I am praying 24-7 for my little guys...I just hope that my babies have their parents' strength, as their father survived a brain injury that I was told was 100% fatal and I have survived...well...I have survived just about as much suffering as I can imagine.

I hope and pray that this baby knows how much we love him/her and want him/her. I can't imagine there is a more loved baby in the universe.









I also talked to a more supportive perinatologist on the phone...he was still very serious and concerned, and laid out some very grim information, but he did offer some hope, saying "as long as the last baby has a heartbeat and keeps looking healthy, there is hope."

I'll cling to that.









Please keep praying for my peanuts. Please send good thoughts. I am heartbroken and terrified...and yet trying trying trying to remain hopeful. I am already so in love with my babies.

And today...I am 12 weeks. I should be celebrating a milestone reached, not panicking about my babies dying at every moment.









I love you peanuts. You hear me?? I love you and your daddy loves you. PLEASE HANG ON.









Thank you all for your support. Please keep the prayers coming.

Claire

So glad you found a doctor that would offer you hope. There's just so much power in hope.

Thinking of you and your little ones.


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## Manessa (Feb 24, 2003)

Couldn't read and not respond. I am so sorry for everything that you are going through. I am keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for the best


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## Mickiswing (Apr 10, 2005)

Claire, I'm so sorry! I don't have any words that will express what I wish for you, but I'm sending all my prayers your way. I hope this road has a miracle at its end.


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## colorclash (Jul 14, 2009)

I have hope for your little one.


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

Hugs and hope for you and your baby!


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

Praying for your bean. Miracles do happen and this _will_ be one of them


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## fazer6 (Jan 26, 2009)

Claire if there's one thing that always works out it's the one in a million chance. While there's a heartbeat there's life. Hope and wishful thinking from all of us should send some sticky vibes. If love alone was the only thing a baby needed to live then you'd have the strongest little peanuts in there.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Exactly what a pp said, if they can do selective reduction and there not be a huge risk of losing any remaining babies(there is but not as big as you'd think, and mainly from infection), then this shouldnt be much different as far as the little ones being inside you.







I hope that the ones left are okay! Keep up with lots and lots of vitamin c and water!


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## mrsbabycakes (Sep 28, 2008)

Oh, Claire. I'm praying for you.

Much love,
Aurora


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

Oh Claire!!! I haven't been on MDC for several days so I'm just seeing this. I'm SO HOPEFUL for that little baby. That's all I'm going to be. I'm going to pray and pray for that little guy to hang on. It's possible!!! I am also so sorry for such incredible consecutive losses. You have written out some of the most thoughtful, kind, empathic responses to me since I'm joined this loss community and I just love you to pieces.


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## ColoradoHELLP (Jun 7, 2009)

URGENT

Is there a chance that this early in the pregnancy they could you on mag to stop any contractions? Why wouldn't the doc suggest this?????? Can mag be started so early in a pregnancy?


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

so unfair


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

OH please please PLEASE post when you have more news. I am going to be watching this thread like a HAWK to see that your little peanuts pull through. I am hoping and praying for you every second that all of this ends up exectly the way you are hoping.


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## AmyKT (Aug 20, 2009)

Oh, Claire. I can't believe this. Maybe if we all send positive, life-affirming thoughts your way, your uterus will get the message that it still needs to support your babies! Please do keep us updated. I'm thinking about you and hoping so, so hard that you get some good news for a change.


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## maygee (Dec 22, 2006)

Thinking of you. I am so sorry for what you are going through and am prayer for your little bean.


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## smeep (May 12, 2006)

I randomly thought of you last night and said a prayer, then just remembered to check up on you. Last I'd read you had just found out it was four babies. But I'm praying for the babies left. There IS a chance they're wrong about the amniotic fluid. Slim, but possible. Only positive thoughts.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Congratulations on making it to the 12 week mark. That's such a huge milestone in and of itself.

I'm praying for that wee baby to keep growing inside you.







:


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## Mamatoto2 (Sep 2, 2002)

Today you are pregnant. Today your babies are alive. Try not to waste worry. If it motivates you to some purposeful action, ok but if it's just causing you stress & heartache it's not helping you or the babies right now. That's the approach I'm trying to take as I lay here on bed rest, marking off 16 weeks, and "trying not to bleed" as advised by my peri (good idea







).

I will be holding your family in my heart & prayers. I hope that you have many many more "today I am pregnant" days.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

wishing you GREAT news....


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## Tear78 (Nov 28, 2008)

Claire, I'm thinking of you! I hope you and your little ones are ok







:


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

claire. Any news? I hope you don't mind - I posted a link to our DDC because we were wondering about you.

We're all thinking about you and praying for you.


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## Riverbeauty (Apr 2, 2008)

I am so sorry you are going through this!


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## Amandamanda (Sep 29, 2007)

thinking of you claire <3


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## Carita (Mar 3, 2008)

more ((hugs)) from your DDC!


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## Sonnet (Mar 4, 2009)




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## OneWithTwo (Oct 17, 2006)

hope everything is ok Claire







s


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## Dena (May 29, 2006)

Claire, I am thinking about you and praying for your two little ones.

This is so unfair and just WRONG what you have had to endure.

And the attitude of your peri on top of it. What is it about some of these specialists? I had a perinatologist in my last pg pull much the same attitude with me. Very doom and gloom, but very matter of fact about it. Just wrong. I am so so glad you talked to a better doctor who was more positive. Do cling to his words. He is right.









Continuing to hope and pray for your babies. Please keep us updated.


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## Peace+Hope (Jul 6, 2009)

Claire, we're thinking of you over in the april ddc, and i'm sending sticky







to your little one who is still going strong, and love to the little one holding on!





































for your two loved ones who are gone.

peace&hope


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## Robbins0614 (Jul 5, 2006)

Claire, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I'm sorry honey


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## MommaSomeday (Nov 29, 2006)

Claire - I don't know how I missed this. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I hope all is still well with your two little ones. Have you been able to find out anything regarding the suggestions from the mommas here? I am thinking of you and your two little peanuts. I don't know what I could say to comfort you, but don't give up hope and know that we are all sending you and your little ones love. *hugs* Please let us know how you're doing when you have a chance.


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## crazyeight (Mar 29, 2006)

if your siggie is still right you've gone 3 weeks holding onto the 2 babies! hoping for you and we miss you!


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

been thinking of you too. pls. update us when you can. i hope everything is ok.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

Claire,

Thinking of you and praying for you and the babies. Take care and please update when you can.


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## caudex (Dec 7, 2007)

Just wanted to say a quick check showed that as of this thread

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=#post14571473

It looks like she's still doing okay.

Take care, Claire. My mother was pregnant with twins, lost one, and went to the ultrasound before a D&C to discover she was still pregnant with my older brother. They can do it. Keeping you in my thoughts.


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## fazer6 (Jan 26, 2009)

Yeah it does look like Claire's gone a bit longer and still has two little ones in there. I'm thinking of you and looking forward to good news. Keeping everything crossed for you.


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## claireb (Apr 7, 2009)

Ladies









I feel like such a bad MDC mama for not posting sooner...here's a link to a (very) long and much needed update.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...9#post14597279

Thank you so much for caring. You are all amazing.

Claire


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