# Consequences for Calling 911?



## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

Backstory: (as brief as possible, the story that I was able to eventually get out of my DD, although I didn't observe it first-hand) DD1 (4 1/2) was playing with a 6yo. boy and a 7yo girl. We live in a fenced complex next to an apartment complex. There are several slats missing in the fence and many teenagers who live in the apartments cut through our complex. Not a problem for me, it's the shortest way to school (going around would add an additional 1/4-1/2 mile to their walk). Anyway, three young men come through and the 7yo says something like "Oh, no! Gangsters!" and the 6yo boy says something like "Watch out, they'll try to get us on drugs!" The boys smile at my DD, who is a little afraid. The teens say "Don't worry, we won't hurt you!" And they put their fists out to my DD, like to do a fist-bump. DD gets scared because their fists are out at her. The 6yo and 7yo come to our door asking us to call the cops because there were gangsters trying to get them on drugs and they threatened to hit my DD, etc. etc. I questioned them and determined that the majority of the story was their own little urban myth, I said I was sick of it, and took my DD inside. Surprisingly, she took a nap. (Other urban legends of theirs include the Cowboy Who Kills Kids, A Stranger Who Gives them Drugs, a Shot Monster than lives in the electrical box, and a tree that sucks all the blood out of you if you touch it). Anyway, the 6yo gets his cordless phone and takes it outside and the 7yo girl calls 911 and says that three gangsters abducted my DD. _Five squad cars show up!_ An officer knocks on our door looking for my DD, DH says she's taking a nap. (We now joke that we fully expected the police to show up at our door for or with our daughter someday, but not when she's four!).

I explained to the police what I was able to glean from my DD. The 6yo got a stern talking to from the officer as well as his parents. The officer was really laying into the 7yo girl, who actually called, saying that he sent five squad cars here because he thought a child was abducted, that they like to believe children when they call 911 but they may not in the future, that they put other people's lives in danger because they wasted five squad cars coming to a false report, etc. The girl just wasn't getting it and wouldn't abandon her story, and showed no remorse, no regret, nothing.

This happened in our yard. Then the cop took the girl home to talk to her parent/s. The girl was outside playing again within minutes.

I am not a big fan of punishment or artificial consequences (although I use artificial consequences occasionally, TBH) but I think that falsely calling 911 is a _major_ infraction with real ramifications.

My DD was _not_ part of calling 911, but I did speak to her very seriously about the effect of making up stories and how the police (and the parents) may not believe them in the future, etc. She did spend most of the day inside after her nap, but I did let her play just a bit before bedtime (this is a biggie for her, she usually plays outside for 10+ hours a day during the summer). And I now restrict the 7yo girl's access to her.

But this 7yo had, apparently, no consequences (she is the classic unattended, unsupervised child. Often when you knock on the parents door they will not answer, etc.)

Just out of curiosity, what would you do in this situation? Kind of a hypothetical question at this point, just wondering. I never thought that I'd be confronted with a child calling 911 inappropriately. For my future reference, what would the GD approach be? Calling 911 falsely needs to, seriously, never.happen.again. How would that be accomplished through GD?


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

What would I do?

Nothing. The cops gave her a stern lecture. The explained the dangers of doing this. The hauled her home and talked to her parents. That is the logical consequence of falsely calling 911. She may not have looked like she was understanding it, but you don't know that. You also don't know what the consequences were at her house. (Maybe the parents took away TV for a week. Maybe they spanked her soundly and sent her outside.)

In addition, your daughter is learning not to trust her, and you know to not trust her, which are, again, logical consequences.

Depending on how you feel, you may either want to limit your daughter's contact with her or see if you can befriend her and model more appropriate, caring behavior. If her parents don't come to the door, she might need a caring adult. You might not be in a position to do that, and that's OK.

I would also keep my eyes open for signs of neglect.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

When a child is scared, they should call 911 if they don't have another way to handle it. I think of all the stories where lives were saved by a child calling 911.

I'd explain that if my kid feels threatened, I'd rather she come home and let me help. We'll call 911 together if we need to.

Sounds like it was handled just fine.

OTOH, I'd probably be outside with my 4 year old and helping the 7 and 6 year old understand that the teens were being friendly (if in fact they were).


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

My dd learned about 911 and called. I got to the phone and apologized and they were okay with it.

I explained to DD that you only use it if someone is hurt or something happens...like fire.


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## ma_vie_en_rose (Jun 7, 2008)

Are you asking specifically about if a child falsely calls 911 how would we handle it?

My response to that would be that I most likely would have talks about what 911 is really for and what is not appropriate to call for. I would also consider taking a tour of the fire dept and/or police dept with the child to help make the idea of the fire and police and their jobs a bit more real to them. Instead of it being just a fantasy type thing of you call 911 for no real reason and the police come running like they have nothing better to do with their time. kwim


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## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

LynnS6--You're right. I don't know what happened in her house. I just know that it took under 5 minutes, whatever it was. I guess I have to stop assuming that everyone uses logical consequences. To me, the consequence of being trusted to play outside unsupervised, making up stories, and falsely calling 911 would be that you can no longer play outside unsupervised.

I'm also concerned because this girl came to my house not two days later asking me to call the cops about a stranger in a red hat trying to get kids on drugs. Ugh.

chfriend--the kids came to my door (after going to the boy's parents) asking for us to call 911, we all assessed the situation and decided there was nothing to be alarmed about. I don't know what the boy's family did when they asked them to call 911, but as soon as I realized that they were scared (justified or not) I took my DD inside and suggested that everyone go home (it was raining anyway).


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## cotopaxi (Sep 17, 2007)

Well, if they continue to call 911 falsely I believe there are fines involved. At that point I imagine the parents will be motivated to do something (GD or not).


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## I-AM-Mother (Aug 6, 2008)

What would I do?

Nothing...everything seems like it was taken care of.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ramama* 
chfriend--the kids came to my door (after going to the boy's parents) asking for us to call 911, we all assessed the situation and decided there was nothing to be alarmed about. I don't know what the boy's family did when they asked them to call 911, but as soon as I realized that they were scared (justified or not) I took my DD inside and suggested that everyone go home (it was raining anyway).

Oops! I misunderstood your story and thought your dd had been playing with them outside without you.


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## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ma_vie_en_rose* 
My response to that would be that I most likely would have talks about what 911 is really for and what is not appropriate to call for. I would also consider taking a tour of the fire dept and/or police dept with the child to help make the idea of the fire and police and their jobs a bit more real to them. Instead of it being just a fantasy type thing of you call 911 for no real reason and the police come running like they have nothing better to do with their time. kwim

That is a fabulous idea! I think that all these kids know about police are what they watch on Spiderman or whatever kids are watching these days. A real-life exposure to what they do would definitely be hugely beneficial.


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