# June is Blooming, Nov '05 Mamas!



## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Hey Mamas!! Happy June!! My birthday is in 11 days! I'm not sure if I'm excited about it, or dreading it.







I know a lot of other mamas in our DDC have June birthdays too, but I don't remember all of them.

Hey could y'all take a look at this thread and let me know if you have any thoughts? My friend is really having some BF issues right now.

And QoC, I forgot to mention this in my last post, but WOW!!! I can't believe y'all went on vacay, moved, had a b-day party, and got your family pics done. You are SUPERFAMILY! I hope you didn't wear yourselves out. Congrats on your new home and I hope you love being back!!!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Look at me, posting on the FIRST page!

Thanks, Amy - we did wear ourselves out, but its easier to recover with family around to help out.

Not much more to say at the moment, just subbing...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oooh, happy birthday Amy!
Life here is manic- I hate half term week. Mum has gone back to Durham, the boys have trashed the house, the dog ate this month's baking which means I have nothing left to put in lunchboxes, and Skye is getting more and more toddlerish by the second. She forgot to nap yesterday, went to bed at 5.30, got up at 6am, was back in bed by 9 and slept through until noon. Is this teeth, or ????? I can't wait until Monday.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Happy June, everyone!

Teresa, that photo of Woody is *exactly* what Neela looked like sleeping. Too cute!

I have a June birthday, too- tomorrow. My DH had done an excellent job of keeping my birthday gift a secret (we have a tradition of me finding gifts/receipts or other "clues") until yesterday when Neela brought me a bag- with my birthday present in it







She was rummaging through his dresser drawers and found something new and interesting to show me. So I got my beautiful birthday dress a couple of days early. I'm making yummy vegan carrot cake right now as my birthday gift to myself. Neela has been helping, so we have sticky mess all over the kitchen.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

My birthday is in 12 days, but I'll only be 26 so I'm not really dreading it.

I think Suriya has the measles. She had a 103 degree temp for 2 days, it went away and then she broke out in spots all over her face and head and neck, and now it's gone to her tummy and back and legs. She's really fussy, sleepy but won't stay asleep, crying every time I move or breathe wrong or if someone turns on a light or makes any sort of noise. I'm not sure what to do, if anything. She doesn't have a fever anymore but she seems very uncomfortable.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Hey Ladies!
Sorry I've been MIA. We haven't been home much. And so I haven't had a computer handy to check in. I've been keeping up with posts though....

QoC: OMG, you guys have been a busy fam! Love the pics!

Helen: Congrats and happy vibes for a HH9!

DiD: Job vibes to your hubby! I hope he gets it! And BTW, yes, you are nuts for having baby lust again so soon! But I love you for it... it's inspiring and helps me remember how easy I have it with just one other person to care for (well, 2 if you count DH!)

Fern: Have fun! You've inspired me to take an impromptu day hike in southern Indiana tomorrow. We'll leave first thing in the morning.... can't wait to let Isa wander in the forest. We're hitting the spot where DH and I got married.

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Our good news: I found a great preschool for Brynn starting in the Fall!!!!
......
Speaking of which, I have a confession.

Amy, I've been on the same train. I've found a wonderful Parent's Day Out program at a local Unitarian Church. It runs on a school schedule though, and they don't start again until September. It's just as well, though, because now that I've found a wonderful place for her to be, _I'm_ not ready.








And, though we've not put it together yet, I'm pretty sure we think a crib (convertible, like yours) is the way to go for Isa too. She always makes a big fuss over them at baby stores and signs _bed_ and reaches up. I have asked her several times if she wants a bed like that and she is always so enthusiastic! So weird! So much for my cage-free baby!








She does roll off her mattress a lot and seems to really want some boundaries for her sleeping space.







: I don't get it, but I do understand that that is definitely what she is asking me for.

In other news, she's finally talking! Every day new words. Not counting like I did with the signs. I'm just sitting back and watching her unfold at her own pace. She's such a gem! My favorite story of a verbal surprise is this: I had a lit a small green birthday candle to light our (ancient) oven and she signed _green_ and said, "GEEN!" So I reply, "Yes, this candle is green." Then, she signs _like_ and says clear as day, "I like geen!"







I'm so proud! Her first sentence!


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Happy birthday to all of you June mamas!

DiD- poor Suriya! Are any of the rest of you sick?

Helen- i think you should let the hospital know the real you - hippie, placenta-lovin' you


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

DiD, can you take a picture of the spots? That sounds more like chicken pox than measles to me- does she have cold symptoms as well?
Whichever, get some calamine lotion and paint it on and try oatmeal baths.

Skye loves her cot and having her own space. When she comes into bed for the last hours of the night/ first hours for the morning, she sleeps far better than she used to- but when she wants to go to bed she goes and gets her grobag to tell us. It's so sweet. It's making me realise that she hasn't really missed out on anything by not signing- she uses objects of reference instead to tell us what she wants.
The other big obsession at the moment is drawing, on anything and everything. It's adorable. We had a big fight yesterday because Alex was doing an oil pastel drawing and we wouldn't let her join in- so she coloured in a whole newspaper instead- every single page. It took her three hours (with breaks) but she was determined that this would be done


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Helen: I love that she colored a whole newspaper!







She's very determined!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Helen, I joke with my signing-baby friends about that same thing--See? He DOES sign. He holds his arms up to be picked up, he opens the fridge and points to what he wants me to make him, he gets our going-for-walks carrier when he wants to go for a walk, he squeezes my boob when it's time to nurse...









Amy, Did, and Mel, and the not-yet-spoken-up June birthday mamas, happy birthdays! It's so nice to celebrate a birthday with a youngin'. It's yet another wonderful reason to be glad you're here on earth! (Forgive me, I am having a particularly cheery day--my mom came to visit and helped me clean four of the six rooms in my house. The smell of lemon oil and vinegar and the sight of the floor is making me ridiculously happy.)

Woody tried raspberries for the very first time today. He looked at me all wide-eyed and said so seriously, "MMMMMMMMM." Indeed.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Helen, the spots look exactly like the measles/rubella spots, and nothing like the chicken pox.
She has a mild cough/chest congestion but no other cold-like symptoms. She's very irritable and is sleeping a lot. She seems to be over the worst of it though, the spots are less today than they were yesterday.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

DiD.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

DiD: I hope Suriya is feeling better soon...

The woods was awesome yesterday! Isa is quite the little hiker. She insisted on walking parts of the trail, so we took a nice SLOW hike around the wilderness area. I made sure she knew the rules were: Stay behind Papa and in front of Mama; and Stay on the path. She did well and seemed to really enjoy the forest. She climbed over logs and fallen trees and even learned to stop tripping over the roots. Around mile 7, though, she was ready to be out of the carrier, but we had 5 more miles to go.







After she fell asleep on Papa's back, the hiking went smoothly again. All in all, a really fun day. We even hiked to the spot where Joshua and I got married.







: It was a nice day filled with old memories and things that will become memories later. *sigh* I am sore, though, and tired.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hello everyone! I've been off the computer for about a week, Rowan and I had a challenging week as Rowan managed to contract DH's cold just as he left for Banff and then I got it a few days later. So we had a week together of sniffles and interrupted sleep, but it was ok, we enjoyed the time together (at least, I enjoyed it, I can only surmise that Rowan enjoyed it because she was pretty cheerful the whole time and only asked for Dada once). I had to go through the nightweaning routine for real this time - since I was sleeping with her and she expects booby-to-sleep from me, I had to tell her that the boobies were sleeping. She took it pretty well, cried for about five seconds (literally) a couple of times then just flopped around on her own until she fell back asleep. Of course, I still slept poorly for the whole week because she's a pretty restless sleeper and I got kicked and wiggled on, but we survived. And of course, the first night DH was back she slept the entire night through in her crib.







:

But we had a good week, and it certainly beat being at work. I was supposed to go in Friday but I felt really crappy so I took the day off and spent it on the couch watching tv and reading while DH took Rowan to his parents' house.

It's been really warm here and Rowan got to play in the neighbour's wading pool - looooved it. Nothing cuter than a naked baby in a wading pool.

DiD - sorry about Suriya. Poor little thing.

Teresa & Helen - Same here - we never taught Rowan to sign but she picked up the sign for "more" from the neighbours and made up her own signs for "hot", "boobie" and a few other things. I've never had a problem understanding her!

Fern - are you coming to Victoria? Are you already here? Give me a call!!!

Amy - that's cool about the crib. I don't think it's un-AP at all, if that's where Brynn wants to sleep. Isn't sleep wonderful?


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Spiritmomma, your hike sounded lovely!

We went for a long walk tonight, too. We moved downtown a few months ago, and now we're about three-quarters of a mile from our favorite coffee shop. So we walked there, walked around the little lake it sits beside, and walked back. It was so nice because it finally rained yesterday and today after three months of drought, so it's a little cool and a little breezy and a little misty. And the smell of jasmine is still barely in the air, and some people had been cooking out, and the June bugs were buzzing around...







it was just such an enjoyabe evening stroll.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Kavita's here! Yay!














It's going to take me a while to call her by her name IRL instead of calling her Kavita.
















: Happy Birthday on Saturday, Mel!!! Did you party it up??!







:

Hi Spughy! Glad you're back, but sorry you had a crappy sick week.







:

It's nice that everyone is getting out and hiking and enjoying the outdoors. We hiked on Saturday too and wore ourselves out. It was great!

Helen, any BFP results yet?

DiD, Poor punkin Suriya!! That must be really hard. I hope she's feeling better. When is DH's next interview? (PS: are our birthdays one day apart? Mine's the 12th.)

Spiritmomma, I've been having the same feelings. Am I ready to let her go?? I think it might be harder for me than her, at least the first couple of weeks!!

Our 3rd wedding anniversary is tomorrow!














I am not sure what we are going to do; depends on if we can find a sitter or not. Wish us luck - I sure would love to have a nice peaceful dinner with DH. For once!!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Amy, hadn't you heard?
I'm due the same day as Strawberryfields and Honeytree (better known as BeTheEarth) How cool is that? 2/2, in case you were wondering- but my pesky doctor insists I have to go by LMP. Makes me 3 days further along







Right now I'm feeling beautifully, happily nauseous. Ain't love grand?









Happy anniversary for tomorrow!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Oh, congratulations, Helen!!! I'm so glad you're feeling sick. It's a good sign! Yay sickies!!! err....

I'm back at work now. Bleh. But DH is actually DOING job search things today so hopefully it won't be too long now.

I went shopping yesterday and bought, um, rather a lot of summer clothes. I didn't have any that really fit me so I hit MEC and a local hemp clothing store and got some really nice stuff. That fits me as I am now, not me "when I lose 20 lbs". So I got 3 pairs of capris, a skirt, 2 shirts and a nice big floppy hat because I got my hair cut and subsequently badly sunburned the back of my neck. Because I forgot it was there. Oops. (why is there no "duh" smilie?)

I have a child behavioural issue for you guys - Rowan has started doing this really, really annoying thing where she pinches me and when I say "please don't pinch mummy, love" she kisses it better. Now, I'm all for lots of kisses, but the pinching I could really do without. It's not just for me either, she does it on Grandma and DH too. For the past week or more, I've tried and tried to get her to understand that pinching hurts - I even (please forgive me) tried pinching her, to make her understand - but I don't think I could pinch her hard enough to actually hurt and she just looked confused. I KNOW that's not a good thing to do.







: Anyway, I am at a loss over this. Sometimes the pinches are just gentle little tweaks and sometimes they are hard enough to bruise me. I don't feel right about just putting up with it. Last night when she was nursing down for the evening she was getting pinchy and I told her that if she kept pinching me we wouldn't have any more boobies and she'd have to put herself to sleep in her crib. So when she pinched me again I took her into the bedroom and laid her down in her crib and started rubbing her back and talking softly to her - no dice. She was up and screaming in a few seconds. I talked to her a bit more about how mummy didn't want to nurse if she was going to get pinched and then took her back to the couch and nursed some more and she didn't pinch me again. So that worked, but it did take some screaming and, frankly, a sort of punishment, and I'd really rather avoid that.

I think the reason she's doing it is so she has an "owie" to kiss better. She's very into that, kissing the cracked skin on my thumb, the scab on her knee, everything. And I do thank her for kissing me after she pinches - I think I should stop acknowledging the post-pinching kisses maybe? It's quite frustrating. Do any of you wise mamas have any ideas here? Ignore it, it's a phase, it'll pass?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
DiD, Poor punkin Suriya!! That must be really hard. I hope she's feeling better. When is DH's next interview? (PS: are our birthdays one day apart? Mine's the 12th.)

She seems to be better today, the spots went away completely away yesterday but she still is kind of cranky and her cough is still lingering.

We had the birthday talk last year. Yes, our birthdays are one day apart!!!!









Jim had his second interview on Friday. Still no news but we didn't expect to hear anything over the weekend.








:


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Spughy, I'd try talking straight: love the kisses, hate the pinches. I'd also try and interrupt the cycle so that she can't kiss better immediately after she pinches and you can create a teaching opportunity- ow, that hurts.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Helen said I'd better my karma if I came & got caught up with our nov05 ddc thread.










spughy, what I would personally do is sternly say "Ow, don't pinch mama!" & not offer or respond to the post-pinching kisses. Xeowyn likes to try to scrape my moles off with his little razor nails. OMG that hurts! He's been doing it for months & months. I sternly say "Ow, don't scratch mama!" & push his hand away. Sometimes he stops for the rest of the day or so, sometimes not. Sigh. I remind myself that it's a phase. Sometimes he's so obsessed & I'm so fed up that I breastfeed him with my left arm held way up so he can't reach the stupid mole on the my arm!







His favorite time to try to scrape me to pieces is while bfeeding.

My cousin's 15 mo old loves to dig his scrapey nails deep into her arm pit while he's bfeeding!

Oh the joys of the abuse we get from our beloved children.









Xeowyn has had an explosion of new words lately! It's been so fun, & soooooo cute. He really wasn't saying a whole lot of words before, & never 2 word sentences. All of the sudden he's saying new words almost every day, & started saying "all gone!", his 1st 2 words put together.







He's a major copy cat & will repeat the last word of any sentence he overhears which is so funny. I'll say "How's it going?" to my other kids & he'll pipe up & say "GOING!" And my older kids entertain themselves by trying to get him to say things like "Duck butt" & "mama's booty".







It has been so cute & fun.

He's also being aware of when he's about to pee, or right afterwards & will grab his diaper & say "pee pee!". So we're going to experiment with a potty chair soon.









The weather's been hottie hot, so he's been enjoying running around naked in the backyard, playing with dirt clods & other fun toddler games.







My DH was worried that the chickens would mistake his penis for a worm so asked that I diaper him when the chickens are out.









I'm 11 weeks along today & feeling much better than I did a month ago, but still far from normal. Food still grosses me out & I'm tired but not sleeping well. But I am still breastfeeding with no problems (







:







: ) & I have a belly bump!!
















My exciting plans for today are to clean stuff. That's really about it.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hey Zjande, do you let your kids go barefoot in the yard with chicken poop around? I'm undecided as to whether it's actually a health hazard or just yucky. (I'm ok with just yucky







)

Thanks for the advice. I've talked it over with DH and we're going to keep discouraging the pinches ("ow that hurts mummy/dada/grandma. Please stop pinching") and completely ignore the make-up kisses.

Oh and I know what you mean about the moles. Rowan LOOOVES moles. She points to them and says "mole! mole!" She has only one - on her leg - and she is very proud of it. Fortunately, she doesn't try to pick mine off (OOOWWW!!)


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Well *I* always let him go barefoot but DH doesn't.







Truthfully, I don't worry about it. I figure, people have been living with chickens for a zillion years, Xeowyn doesn't lick his feet, lol, & we always wash our hands & feet the moment we step inside. I rarely wear shoes myself. SHOES are yucky!!







Plus, backyard flocks are rarely unhealthy, it's the







factory farms that are filthy & neglected & spread diseases such as avian flu & then make it all worse by giving all the animals antibiotics with every meal so the bacteria become ever more immune & it's a vicious cycle & I HATE the huge inhumane corporations & how they are ruining our world!!!

Ah, vent over.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Man Aubrey, you sure have some awesome links on your blog. I want to sit and read all of them! But I think I will take a nap.









We found a sitter for tomorrow night!! YAY!!







So this will be like our second date since Brynn's birth. Yippee!


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Man Aubrey, you sure have some awesome links on your blog. I want to sit and read all of them! But I think I will take a nap.









We found a sitter for tomorrow night!! YAY!!







So this will be like our second date since Brynn's birth. Yippee!

Thanks, Amy! You know what's totally depressing, I have plans to add a bunch more links I love, & had been amassing some awesome links regarding plastics, Teflon, food labeled "organic" & "free-range" & what the *really* means, etc. on my computer's bookmarks list. Then some bizarre thing happened (we still can't figure out what) & one day the entire bookmarks list had been deleted! I wanted to cry! Between my frustration over that & my pregnancy-induced introversion, I haven't been working on my blog lately. But I'll get back to it eventually. I'm so glad you even glanced at my links, thanks!









Enjoy your Hot Date.









There Helen, 3 posts already this morning! Do I get my karma points now? Heehee.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Amy, hadn't you heard?
I'm due the same day as Strawberryfields and Honeytree (better known as BeTheEarth) How cool is that? 2/2, in case you were wondering- but my pesky doctor insists I have to go by LMP. Makes me 3 days further along







Right now I'm feeling beautifully, happily nauseous.

Well, last I remember you were saying you were like 31 days, and you still hadn't seen the midwife. So I wasn't sure where you were exactly. But Yay! That's gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Winter sleeps in the most random adorable places and positions.
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...Winter/011.jpg
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...Winter/010.jpg
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...urnOnMommy.jpg
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f2...Winter/090.jpg

I just love him asleep. He's so precious!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I still haven't seen the midwife. I've seen my GP, who laughed when I asked if she wanted to see the test, is ignoring my beautiful spiky chart and insisting on using LMP (she's bloody lucky this is an abnormal cycle for me and I ovulated early. 9 weeks isn't that uncommon, and then where would she be?) has referred me to the midwives for care, the NHS for free prescriptions and the hospital of my choice for scans. (Oxford let kids in. Swindon don't.) She's also seeing me in a couple of weeks time to talk about whether I want an early scan or not, though that would be at Swindon. So yeah, it was a fairly productive day.

Zjande, you may now have your karmic points back, along with your appetite







Go eat something yummy, and enjoy.
I need new recipes, btw. I'm having major aversions to garlic, tomatoes and chocolate and everything I cook has one of the three in it







What am I going to DO????????


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Helen I would starve if I couldn't eat tomatoes or garlic. They're in everything I make! Good luck!


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I survived my first trimester with Neela on toast with peanut butter and nectarines sliced on top.

I've been skimming through your links, too, Aubrey. And following the plastic-free blog ever since.

I made a bunch of cute simple felt dolls at Christmas, then forgot about them for a while. This week dh and I have started working on a menagerie of cute felt animals- I finished the octopus last night, and he's making an elephant right now. We went to the fabric store today and bought assorted buttons and trimmings to make other little animals. Fun, fun!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I need new recipes, btw. I'm having major aversions to garlic, tomatoes and chocolate and everything I cook has one of the three in it







What am I going to DO????????









I just invented a very nice healthy recipe last night that has no tomatoes or garlic or chocolate in it.

http://food-n-stuff.blogspot.com/

And, aversion to chocolate?!?! What the hell is your body THINKING?!?







:


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

That sounds gorgeous, apart from the maple syrup and cream, I might well be trying that.
My big fear is that this baby turns out to have allergies too, especially with the chocolate (aka dairy) aversion. My skin is playing up again as well, I'm just crawling with eczema








Mel, I misread that and for a moment, thought that you named your daughter after a foodstuff


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Aubrey- this is the first time i have even looked at your blog . . . i always feel like a bit of an intruder looking at people's siggies








but. . . i love all of the links you've got up, especially the plastic free blog - very interesting stuff!!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

*sighs very deeply*

I just read a friend's MySpace blog and she's talking about how she's letting her one month old baby CIO. And how hard it is to let her baby cry but she can only go 10 minutes but it's getting easier.

I want to smash my head into something.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Feel free to put me in touch with her- I'm not on myspace, but I tried CIO. I tried it again and again and it doesn't fucking work.







And







to Suriya and all the other babies with mummies with sense.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
*sighs very deeply*

I just read a friend's MySpace blog and she's talking about how she's letting her one month old baby CIO. And how hard it is to let her baby cry but she can only go 10 minutes but it's getting easier.

I want to smash my head into something.


OMG, one month old??! That makes *me* want to cry!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
OMG, one month old??! That makes *me* want to cry!


Me too. Honestly, I have refused to maintain friendships with people who let their babies CIO because I just can't handle listening to stories about babies crying like that. It makes me feel ill. I'm not shy about saying right to their faces that I think it's child abuse.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Yeah I'm composing a nice reply to her blog letting her know why I'm unfriending her.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Yeah I'm composing a nice reply to her blog letting her know why I'm unfriending her.

Are you? Good. Speaking of Myspace, I'm going to see if Maggie Gyllenhaal will be my friend. She's awesome.

Totally O/T, my best friend just told me last week that she has recently that with the fact that her husband of just under 3 years is an alcoholic. I didn't know this at all (she hasn't told me all of the stuff that's been going on this whole time), but she says it's been pretty bad for the past 2 years, and she told him this past weekend he needs to move out, and he can't come back until he is in some kind of treatment program. He's totally in denial, blaming her, bargaining, etc. - definitely NOT ready to get help at this point. She's got two kids; one Brynn's age, and a 6-year old. So I'm feeling pretty heavy about it.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Sorry, Amy, I'm a clueless Brit. Is Maggie Gyllenhaal married to that Jake bloke, or is she ???
I'm so sorry about your friend.
DiD, I've been thinking further about this. Based on how messed up and clueless I was, and how desperately I was struggling with PND, do you think this girl actually knows how heartbreaking CIO is, and how wrong it can be for everyone? Because I didn't. I was 21, clueless, hadn't slept for more than 45 minutes straight in 8 months (plus pregnancy) and when my mum and my health visitor encouraged me to do it, I really felt I was out of options. Speak your mind, yeah, but could you try and lead her from the dark side to the good, instead of burning your bridges with her?
(This post is not an endorsement of CIO. I just think that maybe there's something else going on and education is the answer.)


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Ug, Amy. That sucks so much for your friend. One thing to remind yourself is that it's probably much *better* for the kids that the man be out of the house. Alcoholism is very ugly & not conducive to healthy parenting. How sad for her. Alcoholism destroyed my 1st marriage. It caused me to lose respect for my ex-dh, which then led me to not care if what I did pleased him or not. Our relationship was so so so unhealthy. And it was terrifying to leave, but we are all SOO much healthier since I did! And my exdh is sober & doing fabulously.

Anyway, I feel for your friend.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
DiD, I've been thinking further about this. Based on how messed up and clueless I was, and how desperately I was struggling with PND, do you think this girl actually knows how heartbreaking CIO is, and how wrong it can be for everyone? Because I didn't. I was 21, clueless, hadn't slept for more than 45 minutes straight in 8 months (plus pregnancy) and when my mum and my health visitor encouraged me to do it, I really felt I was out of options. Speak your mind, yeah, but could you try and lead her from the dark side to the good, instead of burning your bridges with her?
(This post is not an endorsement of CIO. I just think that maybe there's something else going on and education is the answer.)

I let her know if she wanted to talk about alternatives to CIO to let me know. But I did let her know I thought CIO was child abuse. So I sort of went both ways.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I kind of agree with Helen, DiD, but I tried to do that with someone and she flat-out refused to consider other options. It's a horrible story, actually. This woman's child slept perfectly well in bed with her and the woman herself slept ok with the child nursing ok, but her husband objected and she was unwilling to go against HIS wishes, so back in the crib the baby went, waking every half hour, and when "nothing worked" eventually she did CIO and became so desensitized to the baby's crying that she didn't recognize pain cries when the child was teething and the poor baby ended up crying so hard she vomited. 4 MONTHS after she started CIO. This woman originally didn't want to CIO, oddly, but given the choice between cosleeping peacefully against her husband's wishes or letting her baby CIO, she chose the latter.

Yes, she probably had PPD and was certainly sleep-deprived and not making the right decisions. But I just don't know what else I could have done. She read NCSS, she knew CIO was bad, and she did it anyway because it was more important to her to NOT cosleep. Sure, she's a victim of our culture, but she kind of knew that too. In the end it came down to the fact that there were things more important to her than her baby's welfare and that was that.

Sometimes there's only so much you can do. People are always free to make their own decisions. But when they make decisions like that - which really do affect a lot of subsequent parenting decisions - it makes a base of friendship (assuming the friendship is based on mutual parenthood) a lot harder to maintain. Especially since no matter how hard you try to avoid it, there will be judgement on one side and guilt on the other.








DiD. I'm sorry you're running into this. It sucks.

Helen, Maggie Gyllenhall is Jake Gyllenhall's sister. She is one of the rare celebs who bf's in public and doesn't make a fuss about it or give a crap who sees her.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We've been friends since elementary school but I don't feel it's a great loss since she's been one among a hundred that makes empty promises about us getting together "sometime". We haven't spoken other than MySpace in about 6 months and haven't seen each other in person in almost a year.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Are you? Good. Speaking of Myspace, I'm going to see if Maggie Gyllenhaal will be my friend. She's awesome.


Ew, Amy I just looked at the site you linked to and it's from some perv who thinks bf'ing in public is disgusting and then put up a picture of MG doing it!!! It's a lovely picture, but the context is trying to make it out to be sexual. Yuck. Does she have a myspace page?

And I'm sorry about your friend. That must be really hard for her. But I think zjande is right - the kids are better off with her Dh out of the house.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

I know, Spughy - I was short of time and that was the first pic I came up with. I know there are a lot of other articles out there supporting her though.

As far as my friend, we all know it is for the best...that's why she made him move out. I just hate that she's going through this because her first marriage ended because of alcoholism too. So now she's got two kids from two different baby daddies, both alcoholic, and it just SUCKS! I don't want my best friend to be a single mom again, although she will be wonderful in any case. Ugh. Ya know? I just want things to be easy for her. That's all.

Well I have to go get ready for my big date with the hottest guy ever. I wrote an ode to him today, if you have a minute for a gushy love story.







:


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Awwww! Sniff sniff! You have such a lovely family Amy.









And what an absolutely gorgeous wedding dress. Truly spectacular.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oh, that's sweet







Intriguing that your ex was called Jason, too- I have a string of other Steves amongst my friends, exes and could-have-beens, including one who could be a body double for 'my' Steve. It makes me wonder if maybe there is something in a name...
I'm having the day from hell with FIL and inept hospital bureaucracy (he's out. We have to put eye drops in every half an hour and they want to see him again tomorrow morning an hour before the carer comes to get him out of bed. so WHY discharge him, losers?) and am using MDC as an escape, except that MDC got me down this mornig too







I miss chocolate....


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Yep. I dated no less than three Erics in my life, and I gotta tell ya, I haven't been around all that much!

And I really liked Maggie Gyllenhaal after seeing "Stranger than Fiction." That chick acts with guts! It was one of the best movies I'd seen in a long time.

So, mamas, I am having a miscarriage. It started yesterday morning, when I was 4 weeks. And I'm OK. I might have thought it would be harder than what it is, but honestly I still feel so much a part of the life cycle and so glad for the time that I was pregnant. (I really _like_ being pregnant!) But Woody! Oh my god did he do the funniest thing today when I was laying in bed, kind of crampy and not feeling so hot. He kept trying to make a fishy face in the mirror in our bedroom, and when he finally got it, he came running over to show me, only he kept busting up laughing, so he couldn't get his cheeks to stay sucked in.







We put on Donna the Buffalo after that and had a mini-dance party on the bed (me dancing with my arms and he jumping all around).


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Oh, Teresa, I'm sorry.







. I hope you can conceive again soon.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Lydia- one of my closest friends in the entire world told me this week that she is thinking she needs to start letting her babe CIO. Mom told her to, Gma told her to, it is the only way she'll get sleep or the baby will become independent, etc. I was floored when she started talking about it! I tried talking to her about it but it was like talking to a brick wall. I need to address it again but I am not sure how. I agree with whoever it was that said we are a product of our culture and that this is something our culture says is okay. However, it just is SOOOOO heartbreaking to see and hear. I don't know what to do









Teresa - I am so sorry!







s


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

: I'm so sorry Teresa.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

OMG my CIO'ing friend LISTENED TO ME and is asking for my help with her baby!







YAY!!!!!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

Teresa, I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like you are handling it amazingly well...Thinking of you.

I am another who has been incredibly MIA, but I have been reading along since mid-May when I went MIA. I have so often meant to post, but then Finley needed me, or I physically couldn't (Finley latched on and sleeping), etc, etc. It has been an incredibly busy month of transition and moving, like so many others (Q of C, you put me to shame! How do you do it all?)

Helen, I am so excited about your wee one on the way! I'm glad you're feeling sick, too. As spughy said, always a good sign.

And Aubrey, I'm glad you feel sick, sometimes, too!

Sarah, your recipe looks delicious, and I'm glad you and Rowan are feeling better this week. I'm jealous of your trip to England...I am dying to go! We thought we might go this summer, but I don't think it's going to work out.

Fern, hope your move is going smoothly and happily.

Amy, Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sharing your love story. It's amazing. I love hearing other peoples' love stories and hearing about fate working in our lives. What a beautiful family you have. And what a genius of a daughter you have! Glad everyone is sleeping better.

DiD, How lovely that your friend is listening to you!!! I hope it goes well. Keep us posted! Is poor little Suriya well yet? The pictures of Winter sleeping are adorable.

I'm sure I'm forgetting so many big things to comment on, but know I am reading along and am here in spirit, though haven't been here in words. I should be better now that we are getting settled in to our new home in Pasadena. Our stuff just got here yesterday, so it really is all new.

I'll post again as soon as possible with an update.

Off to sleep for now.

Oh, and should you have the time and interest, here's a link to Finley's site, with recent pictures added in the April and May sections.

http://web.mac.com/hillarybaack/iWeb/Finley/Home.html


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

meant also to say that I have so enjoyed everyone's pictures! Q of C, what a beautiful family you have. You look at home in VA.

and aubrey and fern and spughy and michelle, love the pics of noah in your blog. what a handsome guy, and seems like you have a great new home too!

kavita, hope your move went smoothly! sounds like you had a lot of things to work out...hope they've all fallen into place peacefully, and i hope your dad is recovering, too.

can't believe how many of us have moved recently.

kaspirant, any more official wedding pictures available?

and amy, you were a Stunning bride. what a beautiful profile you have, and what a gorgeous dress!
on a random note, my parents went to UGA and my dad played football, so i grew up with an intense bulldawg fans.
what are you getting your PhD in?? did i read something about speech and hearing? do tell...am interested...

ahh, so much to catch up on!
so much to say and share.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Where is kaspirant, anyhow? Still on honeymoon?

Teresa, I've said this before, but







If you want to talk to someone who's btdt, you know where I am.

Susannah, I am always prepared to talk to someone who's considering CIO and talk them out of it.

Spughy, are you still coming to England? (not, you know, that I'm at all excited...)


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Teresa.







My thoughts are with you and your spirit babe. I know it is hard, even if you are taking it in stride. It's a loss, no matter what.

Barcelona, there you are! We've been missing you! Glad to hear that your move went smoothly, and I hope unpacking isn't too stressful!

DiD, that is *WONDERFUL*!!! I think it is such a blessing when we can help others learn about different options. Thank goodness you are in her life! How is Suriya doing?

HoneyTree, I loved that movie too and that MG was *so* good.

We went on our date last night and it was SO WONDERFUL!!! DH took me to one of the best restaurants in the city and we had champagne and an absolutely delicious meal, and delightful conversation. I swear, I was giddy! I told DH I felt like we were getting away with something!







We talked about our relationship, our past, hopes for the future, how lucky we are, etc. It was just perfect!! One thing I love about DH is that he always takes the initiative to find special things for us to do for our occasions, like Mother's Day, my birthday, our anniversary. He's been scouting out restaurants for about a week now, arranged for a babysitter, and just made the whole thing happen. He is awesome.







Also, Brynn did wonderfully with the sitter (DH's co-worker, who has twin 2-year old boys, so they kept very busy) and slept FABULOUSLY last night, only waking at 2:00 and 5:45 (and she's still asleep now!)! So I think I'm going to have to have her and her boys over just about every night.









Totally unrelatedly, I took the most hilarious picture of Brynn last night.

Thank you all for the compliments on my dress! I will tell you, I LOOOOOOOVED my dress and veil, and felt absolutely stunning on my wedding day. I posted a few more on my slings site so you can see the front aspect, and how swishy it was.









Where's SoulJourney these days?


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Thanks for the support and love, mamas. And you're right, Amy, it is still a loss and it is still hanging around in the back of my mind. Dh and I got in quite a fight last night about money, careers--the stuff you shouldn't talk about when you're already stressed, and I know that this had something to do with it. And dh, being the almost infintely patient man that he is, kept trying to gently remind me that perhaps we should take a few days before having the necessary-life-changes discussion.

So Amy it looks like Brynn is wearing underwear in that picture! Are you totally diaper-free? Wow. We are getting closer every day. Woody will tell me now when he's wet or when he's pooped, and if he's running around without a diaper he'll pee on a diaper on the floor, but we haven't transfered successfully to a potty yet.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Amy, your blog post made me teary!







: What an awesome story. I love love love, love stories.

Y'know, I can relate so much. I just wrote a little thing in my blog about it being the 3 yr anniversary since timothy & I met just the other day. My post isn't nearly as in depth & fabulously picture laden as yours though.







Timothy & I had similar feelings as you guys. The moment we met is forever burned into my mind. It was the moment the universe shifted. And we felt it! And it's entirely because of my experience with Timothy that I believe in soul mates, and believed that I found my *fate*. I believe with all my heart that we were meant to find each other that night. It was so overwhelmingly powerful, I couldn't deny that something HUGE was happening. And we said "When you know, you know!" & made plans to move in together 2 mos later (& we both had had significant others when we met as well. In fact we were both with them at the party we met at!), decided to TTC a few mos after that, & then _finally_ got married this past Jan.







And we know that we are going to be together all our lives. It's just _known._









So yeah. I'm done going off on that mushy tangent. I hope I didn't make anyone barf.

Again Teresa, I'm really sorry to hear that you lost your baby.
















Barcelona, Finley's site is gorgeous! And his pictures all look so professional, & ohso cute!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hi Barcelona!! Good to see you again! Finley is sooooo cute. I love his chubby chin. He looks innately mischeivous, too









Helen, I am still in the planning stages of a trip to England. It really does depend on when and what work DH gets. I'm thinking if it happens though it will probably be in September, or late August. But I think I do kind of have to go because my granny might not last much longer







Honestly I don't think she WANTS to last much longer, most of her friends are dead now and she's getting too frail for all the volunteer work she used to do.

Amy, your date sounds AWESOME. I am so jealous. We have to do something like that. Soon.

I love hearing all your stories about how you met your SO's. DH and I met at work - I was his project manager. We started hanging out together outside of work after we discovered a mutual love of fishing and outdoorsy things, and we were "fishing buddies" before we started dating. In fact, after we really hooked up he still introduced me to his grandma as his "fishing partner". His grandma is not dumb and didn't buy it for a second.







Anyway, we got off to a rough start because working with someone you're dating is a shockingly bad idea, and we broke up once, but I never believed that he didn't love me and we got back together and it's all good now.

SoulJourney has been posting a bit in TAO - maybe she just doesn't love us anymore. Sniff.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Suriya is all over her illness. It was so short lived I'm thinking it was Rubella rather than the full blown measles. It's hard to know for sure unless we get her titres checked, but it doesn't matter enough to me right now to get blood drawn from her.
I'm on day 4 of a really bad migraine. Does anybody have any great migraine remedies for me?
Yesterday was Winter's 18 month birthday.







and


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

DiD I've heard from a number of people that cayenne pepper is good, but I've been too afraid of it burning my nose to try it http://www.kellymom.com/herbal/natur....html#migraine

Teresa - I'm sorry things didn't work out this time. Peaceful vibes that things will work out when they are meant to









Helen - I hope your aversions let up so cooking and eating gets easier with time. I'll also be adding my thoughts and wishes to your's that this little one doesn't end up with allergies.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
I am another who has been incredibly MIA,

i was just thinking about you this morning, glad to see you again









Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Susannah, I am always prepared to talk to someone who's considering CIO and talk them out of it.

i haven't even done any research or reading about it because i am just so floored she would consider it. is there info here about why it does not work?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
I'm on day 4 of a really bad migraine. Does anybody have any great migraine remedies for me?

hyland's makes a really mean migraine remedy. i *think* whole foods carries most of hyland's formulas. if i was closer i'd bring you some - migraines suck my big toe!


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

Hey, mamas! Long time, no see...yeah?







: I have just been busy, busy, busy with Mr. Noah Sage. Life is grand and we are just trying to enjoy the beautiful weather...mmmmm...summertime! I haven't had a chance to read through the four pages of posts but I'm getting there! I just wanted to say hello y'all.

*Spiritmomma*: Miss ya, mama!

*Amy*: Happy Anni and Happy Birthday!!!

*Teresa*: Good to see your smiling face back around these parts! Now if I can only keep up again!

*Helen*: Ummmm...Congratulations are in order, I see!!!!!









*DiD*: I hope Suriya is feeling better!

Happy Birthday to the rest of you June mamas! I am celebrating with you guys...turning...GASP...33 on the 27th!


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

I promise I've not deserted you guys, really! I love that you're thinking of us, though! I have been posting in TAO and Single Parenting a bit but I have just rarely had a lot of time to spend on the computer these days. I've also been feeling a bit solitary, but not really. I know that doesn't really make any sense to anyone but me. I'm coming out of it, though, and I really, really miss you guys!

I can't believe how much some of your babes are talking!!! Noah is saying plenty of words that I can understand but I have to translate for most everyone else.







He definitely is still signing a lot, which is good for both of us. Well, except for the sign he just used before he fell asleep! I was just talking to him about what a great evening we had playing with our friends and talking about what we did...he looks at me, puts his finger to his lips, and SHOOSHED ME!!!!







He's soooooo interested in anything mechanical these days. It's almost as if his mind just stays super focused on how things operate. ALL. THE. TIME. He has learned to open the screen door and if he's not in a hurry to run outside (which he usually is!) he will open the door over, and over and over, trying to figure it out. I can see it now...he's going to be "that" kid, you know, the one that takes EVERYTHING in the house apart??!! Yup, I just know it.

BTW...

*Teresa*: I'm so sorry for your loss.









*Barcelona*: Thanks, mama! Finley is absolutely GORGEOUS! Great photos, too! You really do have an eye, I can't tell you that enough. I wish that you lived near by so that you could shoot Noah and myself! With a camera, that is.

*Amy*: Your







story about you and Jason is sooooo sweet! It's amazing how The Universe works, eh?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Michelle! I'm glad you came back to us!







And glad to hear that you are just busy and happy. I can relate! I feel like I owe about 40 people a "real" email, and not just a blog update.

Barcelona, I agree with what Michelle (and all the others) have said about your photos; they are so lovely! I too was just thinking yesterday I wish you could come out and take Brynn's 18 month photos for me!







But Michelle, you are no slouch in the photo department either. Your pictures of Noah are always so artistic and emotional. I love your blog!

Oh, Barcelona, you had asked about my PhD program. I actually started out in the Speech and Hearing program in Athens thinking I might want to go into Deaf education! Once I started, though, I fell in love with neuralscience and language disorders, so that's what I'm studying now. I am pretty well-versed in child language development, but my main area of study is adult language disorders resulting from degenerative neurological disease, and my passion is for phonological (the sounds of speech) disorders. My dissertation is most likely going to pertain to the phonological loss/change over time resulting from the progression of Alzheimer's disease! (Sorry if I put y'all to sleep there!!)

Spughy, fishing partner. Hee hee!

Aubrey, I know - I read your blog a few days before our anniversary and I was thinking how similar our stories are. Isn't it funny how once you have that experience, you see the world in a completely different way? It's like living in color after spending your life in black and white.

Teresa, no we aren't diaper free yet! She's just been asking for underwear for a few weeks now, so we bought her some and she is completely in love with them!! We've been letting her run around naked a lot for the past few weeks, and she will usually tell us that she needs to use the potty when she's naked, so I've been trying it with underwear for the past few days, and she's doing pretty well. I think so far she's only peed twice. I'm not even really trying to push potty learning at all, but I do go with the flow and try to help her remember to tell me before she has to go. I'm curious to see how this whole thing will evolve!

Nothing new here. Well, I did finally join the rest of the world and sign up for Netflix. My god, it's wonderful! I'm kind of addicted to rating movies now so that I can get good recommendations!







I've started watching Big Love (the series) and really like it so far. This is so much better than having cable!


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Hey all...
And especially hi to SoulJourney!









I'm back to having major bedtime woes with Isa. She is very independent about the actual business of going to sleep (finding a comfy position, rolling around, sipping her water cup...) that is, she doesn't like to be bothered or interfered with during this time. However, I (or DH) can NOT leave the room. I personally don't care how long she takes to go to sleep, or if she wants to stay up and talk to herself until she falls asleep, etc... I just don't want to have to sit in the room with her for 45 minutes (sometimes longer!) while she does so...








any advice????


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

AACK! I just composed a big ol' post and it was zapped.

Well, it's now far past my bedtime, so I will just recap quickly--

1. Our house finally closed.
2. We finally moved.
3. We finally closed on our new house here in Louisville. We're still in a hotel while the floors get refinished and all of our furniture and crap are currently in the garage but we're hanging out at the house during the day anyway and gradually getting moved in what we can in the percentage of the house that we can be in (namely, the basement and the kitchen.)
4. We met Amy and her DH and Brynn today--Yay! They are just as cute and nice in person! We actually live insanely close to each other! Brynn is indeed crazily verbally advanced too, and super-polite! She's a total cutie!

I did finally catch up with the May thread and the current one, at least.

Teresa, I am really sorry for your loss.







It sounds like Woody is a joy, though, making you laugh when you don't even want to!!! He's so cute in that picture! As your once and former swap partner, I've missed you and I'm glad that you're back on the thread!!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yay, Laura's back! Happy moving, Kavita!!!







We've missed you.

Jaymi, Skye does this too. Think of it as knitting time, maybe?

Michelle







nice to see you back. Don't say congratulations, though, it's too early yet. Just cross your fingers for us







:


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Can I just tell y'all how fun it is to have Kavita and Co. here? I feel like I already have a comrade here, which is nice. It was so fun to finally get to meet her and her DH, and Ella, of course! Ella is sooooooooooooo adorable: giggly and smiley with huge beautiful brown eyes. The girls had fun swimming in the baby pool and dumping water on themselves and me.







I'll post some pictures possibly later today.

I have to tell y'all what Brynn said last night. Well first I should preface by saying that she is *really* into her female parts lately. She's diaperless a lot of the time when we're home, and she's contsantly tugging on her labia and generally poking around down there. (Are any of your girls doing this?) So anyway, she was sitting on the floor naked while I brushed my teeth, and she pulled her labia all the way apart, and looked down to examine herself, and after a moment said, "That's a penis in there!"







I told her to tell DH, so she walked over to him and said, "A penis in the vagina!" His eyes got really wide and he mouthed to me, "What is she talking about??!" I said, "It's your clitoris, Brynn." So she spent the rest of the evening talking about her clitoris in her labia.

She also talks a lot about her toys having penises (penisi? what's the plural?) and vaginas or labia. Oh, and she saw Kavita's dog's penis yesterday, so that was a topic of discussion all evening long.

That's my child!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

No, Amy, you can't tell me how nice it is to have a comrade







Not unless you impeach that president of yours so I can come and visit with a clear conscience, that is....
But yes, we have big discussions about genitalia and poo


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Howdy, mamas. Thanks for all the







s and the warm welcomes back. I feel well loved on my little home-thread!

I'm drinking my morning coffee (still, I know, at one in the afternoon), with the accompaniments that we had on hand: unrefined brown sugar and goat's milk. It's an interesting combination, maybe not one I'd choose on a regular basis, but then we're having an irregular day. Last night at 3 a.m. Woody woke up to tell me he was wet. So I got up to change him but out of nowhere he began to pitch a fit, threw himself backwards, and fell headfirst off the bed. Lord, what a thud! I screamed, my husband flew out of bed, Woody boy howled. He seems fine--no lumps or weird behavior, but we've all been a little *off* today.

Kavita and Amy, how nice for y'all to be in the same city, and to live close!

Woody's not penis-obsessed yet, but he does love a good fart. We'll be playing hide and seek, and when he hides he'll squeeze out a really loud one and laugh, laugh, laugh until you come find him. Dh and I are not above scatalogical humor, though, so it plays well here!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Rowan's pretty interested in the dog peeing, and she'll tell me when she's pooped, and, like Woody, is pretty thrilled with the farts, although she doesn't fart much (at all?) if I do it







: we have a good giggle.

She likes to poke her girl-bits but she hasn't done tons of exploring. She does spend a LOT of time on her tummy rolling/balancing on a ball, and gets quite upset if we take her off, and I have a sneaking suspicion she's doing it for the fun fun feelings. I haven't told DH of my suspicion because she also does it on his head occasionally and I don't want him to get all weird and squicky about it. It's totally natural and harmless but I don't think he'd necessarily see it that way. Is that wrong? To not tell him, I mean. He's not a girl and he doesn't know that pressure on that area can be a fun thing.









Kavita - good to see you again! I'm glad you and Amy are having fun together!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Oh man. It happens every month. It takes me a week to realize that I'm not getting the updates, and when I sub to the new thread, it's pages long! Oh well, better late than never!

Hope everyone is ok.

We're having the hottest day of the year here, in the upper 90's. Yikes, I"m afraid for what July will be like.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

*DiD* MY heart breaks for the baby but I'm so glad your friend is seeking and taking advice! *hugs* mama

*HoneyTree -* Don't know ya well yet, but I'm trying to keep up. *hugs* and *tears* for you as you go through this...but you seem an amazingly strong mama!! I'm so blessed through your strength!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
kaspirant, any more official wedding pictures available?









YES. I *PROMISE* to get those available to ya this weekend. I've had them on my myspace but it's all private and I kept thinking I'd get them on my wedding site....if you can't wait and have myspace then add me www.myspace.com/kaspirant









Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Where is kaspirant, anyhow? Still on honeymoon?

I'm here I'm here...It's been so busy. School is out next Thursday and the end of the year always swamps me. We are planning a *HUGE* road trip from Southern California to St Louis and we'll be gone for about 2 1/2 weeks. I'm seriously stressing about being completely prepared...not to mention we are TTC...so if this *is* my month we are doing this road trip with a toddler and a mama in her first trimester







:

I couldn't believe that I've missed so much already. This month has been crazy. Last night DH and I hired our first babysitter and he took me to the 8th grade formal. We dressed up in our wedding clothes and danced circles around my students. It was so much fun!! I only have 4 more days with kids and 5 more work days before summer!!!!

Jacob is growing like crazy and his personality is just *popping* out of him. I struggle with his behavior when we go to my friends house...but she is much more mainstream than I am and is constantly yelling *no no* to him and I am beginning to wonder if he's reacting to the difference.../shrug I don't know but I do know he doesn't do those things at home or at daycare...

okay...I should get back to watching my kids watch Bill Nye...I will be back...and I won't disappear for weeks at a time


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Isa is _totally_ into her yoni... She also goes diaperfree a lot and that's when she checks it out. She explores most frequently while on the potty. I haven't made any encouraging remarks, but have also not set any limitations or conditions on it. I think she needs to know what she's dealing with down there. I didn't know until I was in college!







:

Hope all is well with everyone.

HoneyTree: Sorry about your loss, but so glad to know you've got somebody there to make you smile.

zjande: I just ordered several of those reusable ziplock wrapnmat things. I haven't used them yet, but they came in this afternoon. I already was using a full set of cloth grocery sacks, but also just got some reusable produce bags. I love them!

spughy: I wish I could knit while she was drifting off, but whenever I try to read, knit, or compute while she's supposed to be sleeping, she thinks she can get up and play. If I act like I'm sleeping, she at least knows what she's supposed to be doing, even if she doesn't do it!







:


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

So, I was just browsing through our May thread because I missed out on the last couple of pages.







Helen, you mentioned a life bead swap?! Could we go ahead and get that started??!! I'm in dire need of a new necklace as Noah has destroyed all of my really cool ones. I missed out on the swap when we were preggo...I came into the group too late. I would SO love to do a bead swap with you mamas!

BTW, Helen...you keep your baby dust sprinkling fingers away from me!







There are times that I have baby lust but not anything like most of you! Of course, there is that minor detail that has to occur before one actually can conceive.







I'll know what it's like again one day, really I will. Y'all know that I haven't even DATED in the past two years??!! I mean, technically, I went out on two pseudo-dates (hiking with Noah in tow) with someone last summer before I realized he was just like everything else I had ever dated before. Other than that, NADA.







:

Lydia...I was reading in last month's thread that you are quitting your job! Did that happen yet? I'm so happy for you!

Amy & Kavita...I'm glad you guys are having some groovy bonding time! Indy is only a couple of hours away! Remember that camping trip idea?! I have three weeks off the end of July beginning of August...it would be great if we could get together then! I have a good friend from Colorado who is applying for a coaching (rowing) position in L'ville. Having all three of you there would almost make me want to move!!!









Alright, mamas...night night time for me. I have a date with myself in the morning. Sunshinesister, aka my roommate, is keeping Noah for me for a couple of hours in the morning so that I can go for a run or rollerblade then hang out at my favorite coffee shop without having to constantly chase after a crazed toddler!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoulJourney* 
So, I was just browsing through our May thread because I missed out on the last couple of pages.







Helen, you mentioned a life bead swap?! Could we go ahead and get that started??!! I'm in dire need of a new necklace as Noah has destroyed all of my really cool ones. I missed out on the swap when we were preggo...I came into the group too late. I would SO love to do a bead swap with you mamas!










I'm interested in this too!! Count me in!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I am not sure about quitting my job now.
We haven't been getting child support, our food benefits were ended and today we got a letter from the IRS saying we are being audited and they want daycare, doctor or church records proving DP lived with us/supported us, none of which we have because the kids did not go to daycare, the doctor or church so they're saying we'll have to pay back the $6,000 EITC we got.







We're also on the verge of having our electricity shut off, we're two, almost three months behind on the car payment and things are not looking good for the new job Jim applied for.
Sorry to dump all this out, I'm really upset right now.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

OMG, DiD, that is really wrong.
If I can offer some advice, we went through something similar with our tax credits over here a few years ago, when Steve and I were first together. What helped us was getting our MP (elected member of parliament) involved, and getting help in filling in the appeal forms. For them to say that you can't prove that your partner was living with you unless your children go to daycare, church or doctors is ridiculous- he doesn't have parental responsibility for anyone other than Suriya so wouldn't be taking them to doctors anyhow. I'd let the electric company know that you have a three month old baby in the house as well- over here, that means that your electricity can't be cut off, but they can put you on a prepayment meter (which means you pay more for each unit of electricity but makes it easier to budget.) I'd find out if that's an option for you.
Is Jim listed on Gabriel's school records? If not, does he pick him up sometimes? There's got to be a way around this somehow...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Are we doing the bead swap the same way we did last time, with one mama collecting and sorting the beads and posting them back out to people? If so, does anyone in NA have time? Or are you happy with international postage?
Kaspirant, still sending you much baby dust







. I was really hoping this was your month, too.
Michelle, when Isaac was Noah's age I'd been celibate for 26 months and was kind of accustomed to just having my little guy in my bed (Alex had his own bed.) Then we met Steve, and the rest is history


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

DiD, sorry things are so stressful for your family right now. I hope things resolve quickly and that you can indeed quit your job!

Michelle, have a beautiful date with yourself this morning!!

We had one of the most terrifying experiences ever yesterday. Brynn and I were in her room, and she pulled one of the dresser drawers out, and apparently either kept pulling on it after it stopped, or pulled her weight down like she was trying to climb into it. I turned to look just as the dresser was starting to tip over. I screamed, and leapt in front of it to try to stop it from crushing her. I managed to catch it just before it landed on her, but the bottom two drawers knocked her over and pinned her down, but luckily, she fell back onto her beanbag chair, which I think helped to cushion her. She was hysterical of course, but we checked her over and found only a tiny cut on her cheeck from a picture frame breaking, THANK GOD.

I shook for about 15 minutes afterwards, and DH said, "She could have died if you hadn't caught it." It was SO. SCARY. And then I thought about all the times when she's just all over the house playing while I'm in another room, or taking a shower. So today we're going to go buy some of those hooks that you put into the wall and then attach to the furniture, and put them on anything tall and heavy.

I didn't think we really had to worry about stuff like that so much, but y'all might want to just take a look around your houses to see if you have any dangers like that lurking about.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Amy. That sounds so scary, I'm glad she's OK.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

page 5! holy..you are talkers this month.

i havn't read anything so im sorry if i missed any big news..good or bad. i plan to read the posts and reply, but not right now. my mind is still wrapping itself around using the toilet and having running water









love you all!
fern


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Hey, Fern, using a toilet is a big deal







Happy running water day to you!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

*flapjack* - Thanks for the babydust...I'm soooo ready for it...I'm waiting to o right now...and I tell you this *waiting* game that TTC encompasses is NUTS! We were very happily surprised the first time so I've never done the actual trying part...

As school is getting out, I'm going to have much more free time...soooo If no one esle is jumping at the chance...I would love to help out with the bead swap!!! My understanding every one picks a bead and sends me (x) amount and then I will repackage them with one bead from everyone and send them on to each participant? If that's right...Sure is something I can do!!

**Amy** - That is so scary!! I'm so glad you were there!! *hugs* mama. GL with the Toddler-proofing. It's MUCH harder than baby-proofing IMO.

*DiD* Ohhh mama! I've been there. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. It's such a hard place to be in...I don't have any of the answers to the insurance stuff...it's all Greek to me. But I'm here if you need to talk/vent/cry etc...and to tell you that IME...once you hit bottom it's always so much greener coming out of it.. You find a greater appreciation for what you have when you are faced with having nothing. *hugs*

And I just had to add barcelona lives somewhere near me!!! I just now found out. So yay! I hope we can meet up and let the kiddos play!! well that is if she wants to play with us...







:

I just got a call from my *best friend* in town. We were planning on getting together today with a few other mama's. Our kiddos are a month apart. We met when we were pregnant and through the last couple of years have gotten really close. We plan our summer months down to a T because I'm home and not working. During the school year I'd go over to her house and crash out and watch TV and things *she TiVo'd my one show for me and we watched it together*. Well Wednesday we did that but I brought DH and DS with me instead of just DS. We found out when we got there that DS had had a rough day at daycare because he was being unusually rough..so I kept reminding DH to keep a close eye on him when I wasn't there. There was a point where he went up to K and gave her hugs. It was adorable. He gave her kisses and more hugs. She was grinning and we all were adoring them. But then he bit her on the cheek. I took him away and held him telling him that *teeth hurt* and that K was crying because he used his teeth on her. I helped BF take care of K and kept an eagle eye on DS for the rest of the night. No more incidents...he was more rough but we kept him from hurting himself, K or any of BF's stuff....I apologized as we left that DS was so *off* and BF agreed that he was and I thought that was the end of it.

Fast forward to today. She calls me an hour before she's supposed to come over for our playdate and says "I'm not coming" I said "Okaaay?" She replied, "I need a break from you guys. I have felt it all week and I hoped it would go away but I just can't spend time with you."

I'm heartbroken. I know that DS bit K and I realize where *I* needed to do things differently to avoid that sort of situation...but I thought our friendship was deeper than something like this. I've been so stressed out lately with school...it's been a nightmare. I know I've been distant...you guys know I've been distant...it's taken all my energy to just do my job and be a mama and a wife...but I'm hurting now...

I know I would have reacted differently in this situation from her...because I've been the bit child's mama before and honestly I was more afraid for the girl who bit DS because her mama came over and bit her when it happened...but I just feel so sad...like I am losing something because of choices that I'm making...but at the same time I don't feel like I'm making the wrong choices...so I wonder if I'm supposed to just let her go...I don't want to.

So I sit her crying. Wishing I knew what to do and how to react to all this.







:


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Alicia. When you're ready to talk, I'd say it with a card or a note, rather than by picking up the phone. Sometimes slow and steady thinking and talking can go a long way in situations like this.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 







Alicia. When you're ready to talk, I'd say it with a card or a note, rather than by picking up the phone. Sometimes slow and steady thinking and talking can go a long way in situations like this.











I'm hurting. She is hurting. My pastor said some wise words *hurting people hurt people* I'm going to wait until I'm not hurting...and then I may even wait some more.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Sorry to dump all this out, I'm really upset right now.









lydia- i'm so sorry! that is alot to be dealing with! i know some people here though who succeeded in having power turned off by proving there was a baby who lived there. . . i wish i could help, but all i can offer is a









Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
We had one of the most terrifying experiences ever yesterday.

how scary! i'm glad she is okay. these toddlers, i tell ya!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
So I sit her crying. Wishing I knew what to do and how to react to all this.







:

i don't have any advice, but i can tell you that my keagan has never bitten anyone other than me







: but he has hit and has been hit by other children. i would wonder if your friend has something else going on right now and just feels like she in general needs time to herself.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

*Lydia*:







mama. We're sending positive vibes to help you get through the rough patch.

*Alicia*: I'm sorry your friend is not understanding toddler-hood.








: Noah just recently (like in the past week) picked up biting from one of his friends. It SUCKS. He bit the little boy I nanny for THREE TIMES on the same arm, in the same day. So hard that the NEXT DAY there were still three swollen outlines of Noah's mouth on his right arm!







: And I was within ten feet of them each time it happened! It's very frustrating and I hope you and your friend can work this out. It happens. Her kiddo will probably be the biter at some point, too.

*Helen*: I always love the reminders that some of you all have been in my shoes before! I'm going through another "When in the hell will I ever meet someone?" phase! It's probably because my single mama roomie recently met someone and is in the "oh-so-happy-in-love-that-we-cannot-detach-ourselves-from-one-another" phase and I get to witness it!









*Amy*: How scary!!! I'm glad she's OK! Noah gave me quite a scare at the mall play area the other day. I thought he ran out of the play area and instead he was standing on the ledge separating the play area from the food court!







This was happening while I was trying to comfort the little boy I care for! First time I've ever had that weak in the knees, my heart has completely bottomed out feeling over Noah. I did NOT like it at all. Sadly enough, this is NOT going to be the last time we experience this, in case you didn't realize! Oh, and thanks for the well wishes for my date with me...I did have a fine time, indeed! I forced myself to just SIT at the coffee shop for a good hour and a half to just read and relax. It was actually really hard to just sit for that long. Never used to be!

Oh, and Alicia, that would be awesome if you want to volunteer to be in charge of the bead swap! I was going to offer if nobody else could but you may be able to get them out quicker! Let us know if it's a go!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

DH took me to a double feature of Knocked Up Oceans 13 tonight. DS fell asleep during the first hour of the first movie and slept through the rest! I got to actually watch not only one but 2 movies from start to finish!! We had a great time and he did a wonderful job of cheering me up after the not so fun morning!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoulJourney* 
*Alicia*: I'm sorry your friend is not understanding toddler-hood.







:

That's how I feel right now...and I hurt for me because I'm afraid our friendship won't grow past this.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SoulJourney* 
Oh, and Alicia, that would be awesome if you want to volunteer to be in charge of the bead swap! I was going to offer if nobody else could but you may be able to get them out quicker! Let us know if it's a go!

I can, and would love, to do this. Anyone have a rundown on exactly how we want to do it would be great. I'm guessing I'll take PM's from those who want to be a part and I'll PM back my addy...? and we can go from there. We'll need to set a date for me to have all the beads by...The actual doing seems easy enough..it's all the figuring out that makes me







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Susannah M* 
i don't have any advice, but i can tell you that my keagan has never bitten anyone other than me








: but he has hit and has been hit by other children. *i would wonder if your friend has something else going on right now and just feels like she in general needs time to herself.*









I really hope that's what it is but it's OH SO hard not knowing what is going on!! It's so hard not to feel like it's ME...and not to take it personally. I just feel like there's something I should have done differently...but I *know* in my heart that the kinds of things she'd like me to be doing differently are not by nature things I will ever do. We are polar opposites with our parenting...except for our CD's as I've convinced her how wonderful they are!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Oh my dear mama friends, I am just so stressed out right now. I can't sleep because the stress is just such a heavy burden to bear. I am literally trying to decide if I should buy groceries or pay some of my electric bill. The electric co. wants a minimum of $100 to keep the power on, and I have 10 days to give it to them or else. We have $100 but it's all we have, and our kitchen is pretty much devoid of food. I am in such a panic, this is just suffocating.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

DiD, you need to go and get yourself down to frugality for advice on this one. If you've got the money and the electric company won't negotiate any further, give it to them (personally I'd give them 50 now and 50 in 10 days time...): then go and find some way (any way) of getting an extra $5 into the house- selling CDs, fruit-picking with the kids in tow, whatever it takes. More would be good, obviously, but every little helps. With a bag of rice and some beans, you have at least got food to go into tummies in the short run, even if it doesn't taste interesting. I'm pretty sure the other Vancouver mamas will have suggestions on food banks, etc, etc. so go and post in FYT.
Am I right in thinking that Canada has a state healthcare system of some description? The sceptic in me thinks that your life would be easier right now with a diagnosis of PPD on your medical records...just a thought. This is all achievable.
kaspirant, it might be easier to run the swap through the TP, with a separate thread. Just a thought


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

DiD, I was thinking food bank too. There has to be one. Also, you could resell some of your kids' clothes for a few bucks if you have a resell shop nearby. Do you have anything you could sell on Ebay?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Helen, I think DiD is in the States - aren't you DiD? I don't think our hydro companies are allowed to turn off electricity if there are small children in the house. But I second the suggestion about a food bank. Alternately, borrow a cup of rice from one neighbour, a cup of beans from another, and a couple eggs from a third...

I can sympathize with all the biting babies. Alicia, I'm sorry your friend is reacting like that, but I agree it sounds like there's something else going on there too. Rowan has done a few exploratory nibbles but not full-on biting. The pinching is still pretty bad though, especially when she pinches my cheeks because she does it SO hard. I've started giving into my impulse to scream when she does it and that does seem to be having some preventative effect.







She gets so sad and frightened when I do it though, I'm still not sure if it's the right thing to do.

gotta go, child needs me.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Spughy, that's would I would do. I think the shock-effect is probably the best treatment at this point.

Alicia, I meant to respond to you in my previous post too; I agree with what everyone else said that it sounds like it is probably not just a response to you that has caused your friend to have these feelings. I know, though; it is SO HARD not to assume that it's something you did or said, or what happened the other day. A couple of years ago, a woman I knew and I were getting to be somewhat close, and then she just kind of turned off, and she stopped initiating communication and visits, and I was really sad and felt like it must have been something I did, or that she realized she just didn't like me. I didn't find out (from her) until over a year later that she was going through some marital issues and battling depression, so she was just totally withdrawn. I'm not saying that's what's happening with your friend, but I'm saying that it could be something totally unrelated to who you are as a person and/or what happened!!! But I want to send you a hug anyway, because I know it hurts.









Yep, DiD is in Vancouver Washington, last I knew.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Doh- I did know this, I just get very confused with having two Vancouvers







: I've been trying to figure out why she and Fern are so close and not socialising


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
I really hope that's what it is but it's OH SO hard not knowing what is going on!! It's so hard not to feel like it's ME...and not to take it personally. I just feel like there's something I should have done differently...but I *know* in my heart that the kinds of things she'd like me to be doing differently are not by nature things I will ever do. We are polar opposites with our parenting...except for our CD's as I've convinced her how wonderful they are!!

trust me, i hear ya on this! i am the WORST at taking things personally.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Oh my dear mama friends, I am just so stressed out right now. I can't sleep because the stress is just such a heavy burden to bear. I am literally trying to decide if I should buy groceries or pay some of my electric bill. The electric co. wants a minimum of $100 to keep the power on, and I have 10 days to give it to them or else. We have $100 but it's all we have, and our kitchen is pretty much devoid of food. I am in such a panic, this is just suffocating.









lydia, i am so sorry! i really wish there was something i could do, but our finances are really short with DW being in the hospital again. i wish salem was not quite so far from you; i'd bring you a meal or two! a couple of thoughts: milagros (i think it is at 30th and kililngsworth) takes clothes on consignment as does buffalo exchange. do you have a church you are AT ALL affiliated with? many times you do not have to be a regularly attending member to get a food box. there are a number of food banks here in salem, i would be willing to bet there are some in portland too.
(in fact, here is a link for you!)
http://www.oregonfoodbank.org/ofb_se...etro_services/

ETA: where is everyone? it's been almost a day since our last post!!!!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm here! I had a super-productive day yesterday - I got my balcony pots planted to the point I think there is as much biomass out there as it can support







. AND our neighbours are having a garage sale next week and asked if we wanted to put stuff in and I said YES and actually went through ALL the crap in our storage area and pulled out most of it and priced it and it's all ready to go. I still have to tackle the excess kitchen stuff though.

DH and I had a "parenting style" discussion yesterday. He was a bit perturbed that I'd asked Rowan not to take off her shoes outside, then gave up and let her run around in her socks. I explained that I'd told her that if she did that, her feet would get mucky and wet, and she did it anyway, and I figured that if she didn't care if she was running around in wet socks, it wasn't a huge deal, because socks can be washed, and I figured it was better for her to be running around happy outside than having me nag her and keep putting her shoes back on every 2 minutes. Besides, I was trying to talk to someone and do some gardening at the same time. DH thought that I should have been firm once I asked her to do something, and we got into the whole idea of minimizing the amount of "because I told you to" reasoning we use and minimizing the amount of "no"s that Rowan hears and I told him to go read the damn Alfie Kohn book already and I think in the end he agreed with me.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

So basically, you should have decided whether shoes on outside is a big deal or not before you made an issue of it, rather than asking her not to and then being trapped in "cos I said so" mode? He's sort of getting it, isn't he?








We had an amazing day today- we went to Breastmates this morning, got the bus back through town, and went and did a little bit of shopping with Skye walking the whole way. We didn't do anything terribly exciting- went to the cash point, bought lunch, went to two shops and got the bus the rest of the way home- but it was fun








The nausea just reached overkill levels. I'm no longer reassured, I'm now at the "please go away and let me sleep in the toilet" stage of pregnancy where I feel too crap to worry







So far, so good.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I'm reading along, but not keeping up very well this month! We're leaving for Canada tomorrow morning, and this evening will be my 7th shift in 8 days.

I should be packing right now, but I'm having anxiety about getting ready instead and trying to distract myself with all of your lives







I really hate crossing the border and am trying not to think about it!

Hugs to everyone! I'll check in from my vacation


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

Alicia, OF COURSE, we would LOVE to play! I haven't yet checked my myspace messages for your reply, but am ecstatic we are close by and can't wait to meet you and your little guy. I am so so sorry you are going through this with your friend. I hope the pain gets less each day, and eventually you can either reach out or not, however you feel...

DiD, I am SO sorry to hear about your financial troubles. I second the suggestions from the other mamas, and would definitely look to see if you can sell something. Thinking of you, and so hope that things turn around very soon.

Helen, I'm thrilled to hear that you are wanting to move into the bathroom







Sounds like you had a lovely day.

And Amy, how scary!!! Makes me think I need to take a closer look around here. And your PhD sounds very interesting. Thanks for sharing. Do you have classes to take still?

Michelle, thinking of you in your single phase. I do believe in true love and all that, so I have faith there's a special someone for you, that will come into your life at that perfect moment.

And, oh, so much to catch up on as always!

We are, each day, getting more and more settled here in California, though it feels like the list of getting-set-up stuff is quite long. I am hoping by the end of the week we'll be mostly done with all of that and can start setting up our careers and our life here and really start living. Today we went to the DMV, I bought a car from my grandfather, so now we can drive that around. We are unpacked, but not entirely organized yet. About halfway, and I'm so anxious to get 100% organized, but it's so hard to focus and do it all with Finley running around and needing me. So I have had to surrender that part of me that wants to just get it all done and set up and organized and perfect and do it slowly but surely. But it is definitely fun and inspiring and refreshing to set up house somewhere new and have this new, fresh start.

DH had an interview, and they ended up not needing to hire editors, which is what he does, so that's a bummer. But he has a bit of freelance work, and we'll try to see if we can get the word out and get more freelance work for him.

Finley had a really rough time with all of his teeth coming (well, the molars and canines), and he was bleeding and couldn't eat or drink anything but mama milk, and it was just awful! Poor little guy. And all of this while we were moving in, and roughing it, and sleeping at a friend's friend's house. But now he seems to be okay. Now he is just having a hard time going to sleep, both for naps and at night, unless we're in the car. I hate that! I don't want him to need the car to sleep. We'll have to figure that out.

Another huge problem of his is constipation. I don't remember if I posted about this earlier here, but it is just a problem that is not going away. We have tried almost everything. If you don't mind, can you offer further suggestions, before going to the dreaded suppository, which I fear will make the pooping thing an even bigger and more traumatic thing for my little guy.
We have:
eliminated dairy from his diet (though not mine)
give him flaxseed oil daily (he loves this)
try to get him to eat warm cereal with flaxseeds in it as often as possible (he doesn't eat a lot)
avoid bananas
eat lots of fruit
prune juice
encourage him to drink as much water as possible throughout the day (though this doesn't result in a substantial amount.)

I know a next step could be to go to an osteopath, and I would love to do this, but we simply can't afford it right now.

Does anyone know of a gentle, natural stool softener?
Any other ideas or suggestions?

Finley has been hitting us, not hard, but definitely testing his limits. I'm not sure how to handle it either. So far, I have been saying Ow, and please don't hit mommy, that hurts. Don't hit people. Touch gently, please. If he continues, do you think it is too harsh or bad to say, I'm going to go if you hit me again, and walk away to another part of the room if he does? Would love thoughts on this. It's so upsetting, even though I know it is normal toddler behavior. And it's certainly not often, but when it does happen, we're like, where does this come from? I guess it's just experimentation, and sometimes lack of impulse control...

Ok, I promise I'll be better about checking in this month.
I have missed being active. It's just been so difficult to find free time to type. Hopefully that'll increase as we get more set up here.

Happy Monday to all!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

And thanks for all the nice comments about the pictures. I wish I could take all of your babe's portraits!!! How fun would that be?

I still have much to learn, but am having fun learning and playing and practicing.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

we are moving saturday morning..and im packing madly and trying not to freak out about going so far away. its going to be ok, i know.. but still. its a long move (6 hours or so) and im still working tuesday/thursday this week







:
not only that but im not feeling so hot these days..like ukebad.. so its hard to get stuff done.

im sorry not to respond to anyones posts.. im lame, i know.. but i do love you.

and we wont have internet, so ill ceck in a few times a week from library/MIL's but im not going to be super active here for a while.. mayb in winter we will get the net again.. we will see.. we are trying to conserve $ and live frugally for a while.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I don't have any way to stop it. They're going to repo my car the day after my birthday.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Fern, are you pregnant?!?!? I hope your move goes smoothly, but I'll miss having you to visit in Vancouver.









DiD:






























Barcelona - congrats on the move! I'm sorry I can't think of anything you're not already doing with Finley re: the constipation. Except is he eating any white flour, or potatoes or white rice products? Because all of those can be quite constipating. Applesauce is bad too, in case you're giving that. If you can get him to eat it, rhubarb is AWESOME for getting things moving, much more effective than prunes. You'll have to put a ton of sugar in to make it palatable but in a case like this I'd call it medicine and live with the sugar guilt.







Does rhubarb even grow in California? Regardless, you can find it frozen at the grocery store.

I feel very bummed generally today for some reason. I'm working on crap stuff at work, I feel really unmotivated, and I heard a brief thing on the radio about how cocoa is grown and some corruption thing and looked into it some more and discovered that there is a major problem in the cocoa industry with child slave labour, particularly in the Ivory Coast, and while it's being addressed, things haven't been thoroughly fixed yet. So except for Fair Trade chocolates, chocolate is off my potential treat list.







And it just generally thoroughly depresses me that children are still sold into slavery.

But today Rowan settled into nurse after work and said "happy boobie" which was very cute. And then she nursed for 5 seconds and decided she'd rather take the dog for a walk instead.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
I told him to go read the damn Alfie Kohn book already and I think in the end he agreed with me.









laughup

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
The nausea just reached overkill levels. I'm no longer reassured, I'm now at the "please go away and let me sleep in the toilet" stage of pregnancy where I feel too crap to worry







So far, so good.

still got my fingers crossed for you. . .oh, and have you tried preggie pops/drops for the nausea?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
Finley has been hitting us, not hard, but definitely testing his limits. I'm not sure how to handle it either. So far, I have been saying Ow, and please don't hit mommy, that hurts. Don't hit people. Touch gently, please. If he continues, do you think it is too harsh or bad to say, I'm going to go if you hit me again, and walk away to another part of the room if he does? Would love thoughts on this. It's so upsetting, even though I know it is normal toddler behavior. And it's certainly not often, but when it does happen, we're like, where does this come from? I guess it's just experimentation, and sometimes lack of impulse control...

i know what you mean. keagan hits, bites, etc - definately not anything learned! re: saying you are going to go if he hits again. . . wouldn't work in my house because keagan FREAKS out if he wants you and you go where he thinks he can't. i spent half of this weekend holding him because he would cry otherwise every time i walked out of the room.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Spughy I just want to say again, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. You have been such a great friend to me.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Fern, don't you DARE go anywhere without leaving us all a snail mail address for you? Do you hear me? (I'm glad everything else is going OK, though)
DiD







You CAN come through this, you can.
Susannah, I've never heard of preggy pops, but I don't want the nausea to go away







It's reassuring...
barcelona, before you try suppositories I'd look at a stool softener, like lactolose: I'd also ask your ped. if isphagula husks are suitable for toddlers. (fybogel.)
spughy, there are worse things in life than eating organic or fair trade chocolate. From what I hear, though, it's one of those products where you really should be choosing organic because of the amount of crap put on it...
Happy holidays, mel!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

DID im sorry i havnt been more supportive. it sounds like you are at rock bottom.. but you are a wonderful momma and person and i know that things will get better for you. it may not look it right now.. manifest yourself some major abundance momma.








we were in a really tight spot a while ago.. i had to get groceries from the food bank and we could barely squeak by (thank god we live with my mom who only charges rent when we have it







) i was freaking out. its so hard to feel like you cant take care of your family. i was pretty well humiliated to go to the foodbank and spill out our sorrows, but the were really kind and it turns out we only needed to go there once.
then somehow everything turned and we were given $ for our van and tim got a great job and so did i.. so things can and will get better for you.

and sarah: is more likely the water i was drinking while camping that making me feel ill









helen,

imn not abandoning you, thats for sure. ill find a moment or two at the library and MIL's. i would totally go into shock and die without mdc


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

**Amy**







:














:














:

*DiD* I'm praying for you and your family...I wish there was more I could do







:

*barcelona* I'm sooo excited!!! Yay for playdates! Yay yay yay yay for playdates with MDC mamas!!

*MamaFern* Good luck with all the moving. It can be so stressful. Kudos to you for going Internet free to save $. I swear I dropped all but the necessities after xH moved out and I just couldn't cancel my Internet service!!

*Spughy* yay for seemingly productive conversations with DH. I'm sooooo blessed that DH is so completely on board with my parenting choices.

*flapjack* It's crazy they way something so uncomfortable is so amazingly reassuring. *hugs* to you mama! I'm so glad you and your bean are doing so good....Now to just start my bean growing









*MelW* Have an AWESOME vacation!!!

Update to the biting/no more playdates situation. She emailed me and said my son is excessively aggressive...and while she knows that it's *normal* toddler behavior she refuses to force her child to play with someone who is constantly hurting her. I'm








: apparently DS is excessively a toddler and therefore can no longer play with her daughter. She did say that we can still get together as long as DS is restrained in either his stroller or beco. It doesn't sound like the kind of friendship I want. The things she listed as his *excessive* aggression...was just him playing. Spinning with his arms out, rougher love pats and the one biting incident. She is saying that it is now a pattern and cannot be a good mother if she lets her daughter play with my son. I'm trying to find peace with what to do. Right now I want to just walk away and move on...but DH is insisting I'm being rash and not thinking it through properly...I don't know.

beads...I'm off work Friday and then leaving the following Friday for a 2 week vacation. I think if we could get a head count for how many are wanting to participate so we all know how many beads to send before I leave on vacation and then have the beads to me date as sometime after vacation that would work out? Any other suggestions would be great.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm in with the bead swap!

Fern, that's yucky about the water. You might want to go get some tests done and rule out giardia because that's NASTY stuff.

Helen, you're right about there being worse things than fair trade chocolate. What bums me out is the amount of other chocolate I've eaten over the years (which admittedly is not a huge amount as I've never been a chocolate addict, but still...)

kaspirant, that sucks about your friend. I hope one day she realizes that it might be better to teach her DD to *deal* with stuff rather than just sheltering her from it. I'm all for protecting kids, but there comes a point when protecting too much harms them rather than helps them. I don't LIKE it when Rowan is around kids who are more aggressive than she is, but I generally let her handle it in her way (which is to basically ignore them at the moment) and I would only intervene if she cried. I'm perfectly comfortable disciplining someone else's kid too though (discipline meaning getting down to their level and having a good little discussion about why it's not cool to grab toys, etc.). How is that little girl EVER going to function in a group of kids? There are always aggressive children, no matter where you go. I feel kind of sorry for her, actually.

I'm probably going to be posting less over the next little while. I've been feeling really dissatisfied at work, beyond what I'd expect from just not wanting to be at work at all, and I've come to the realization that it's because I haven't been giving very much to my job. Part of that is my MDC addiction







So, I'm deleting MDC from my favourites at work and only logging on in the evenings from now on.

Have a good Tuesday everyone! I'm getting an evening out tonight - a friend is coming over to say hi to the sprout and the husband then we're going out for a beer. Yay! I haven't seen her in a while and she's a really awesome person just to hang out with so it'll be fun.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Thanks for all of your support mamas. It really means the world to me to be able to come here and tell you all my troubles and know that you all care about us. You guys are the best.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

We love you, DiD. We're all praying that things turn around soon for your family.







:


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

sarah: yeah giardia.. ive never had it but ive known folks who have. nasty. i dont have the nasty gass like you get from it and i think it takes a bit longer to masnifest so its probably not giadia, but ive been dosing up on gapefruitseed extract and vitamin c and stuff to fight it off, whatever it is.

Happy Birthday Amy!

i'd love to do the bead swap but ill need a few days to get settled (we move saturday).. when are we going to do it?

barcelona:







thats great. im glad things are looking up. playdates are important. im hoping ill find a momma and babe or two around where we are that i can connect with. heres hoping since its a pretty small place.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

*Amy:*





















:
















*DiD:* We are sending you positive vibes, mama. It WILL get better. I often struggle making ends meet but in the end things just have a way of working out. I can relate to not getting child support, really. Noah's papa is only ordered to pay a small amount of C/S a month...most of which goes directly back to him since *I* am ordered to pay for half of all his travel expenses to come see Noah!







: I pay for Noah's health insurance out of my own pocket, all of his doctor bills (when he goes) and anything else that comes up. SO...somehow we will come out ahead...I trust that we will! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's not visible yet.







mama.

*Fern:* I have had a bacterial infection after backpacking before. NOOOOOO fun.







On the upside, though, I lost over ten pounds in one week!







I hope you get to feeling better!

*Kaspirant:* I'm SO in on the bead swap. once we get a head count let us know when and where to send the beads! Until then, have a FABULOUS vacation!

All right...off to be productive...the little guys are sleeping...for now!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kaspirant, I have two friends who are in this situation. One has a beautiful, ladylike, well-mannered daughter, who is a bit clingy (was apparently a lot clingy), very gentle, has food issues. The other has a boisterous little boy, who reminds me a lot of mine at that age- in fact, he gets on great with my two







He does all the stuff that you would never think of forbidding, would LOVE spinning round and round with his arms out until he bumped into something/one, and is generally- you know. A boy








I can see how much resentment this is causing for the girl mummy, because they trade childcare a LOT: and girl mummy finds it really hard to deal with boy. She really struggles to just let him be.
In your shoes, I think I'd send your friend's dd a postcard, and then consider whether maybe a girls night out would be a good idea. I'd also start thinking about finding some other friends for Jacob where the mummies think more along your lines.
Getting a head count for the bead swap (or a rough count, anyhow) would be great. Swindon doesn't have a bead shop (surprise, surprise) so I'm going to have to go to Bath or Oxford or somewhere. Actually, NONE of the towns around here have good bead shops- isn't that weird?


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

*Kaspirant*, there's a mom at my school who only has one child--a very well-mannered, soft-spoken, shy girl of nine--and this mother _still_ has issues with other children's rough play and boisterous behavior. I don't know if you'd even feel like it at this point, but it might be worthwhile in the long run to point her toward some parenting resources that inform your style of parenting and let her know that, given your two different ways of raising kids, if she feels like y'all can ever find a common ground, then you'd love to have her back as a friend (but restraining your child is NOT common ground!!!).

*Did*, Oh, mama, I feel for you! Our family car was often under threat of repossession when I was growing up. My mom used to have friends come over and park their cars behind and alongside of hers so the bank thugs couldn't sneak up and tow it away!





















Add my thoughts of abundance and security to the scads and scads of good energy coming your way...

*Mel*, have a fabulous vacation!

*Fern*, easy-moving vibes to you! And hope your illness clears up quick.

*Helen*, hope your m/s subsides _some_, but sticks around enough to reassure you!









*Spughy*, of course we'll miss your posts, but will look forward to your pop-ins in the p.m.'s. And I thought your explanation of not being happy at work was so intuitive--I am going to keep that in mind, as I have a feeling that my own lack of committment or real involvement in my work has been a source of dissatisfaction in the past, too, and I'd never even thought of it before you posted about it.









*Happy birthday, Amy!*

*Barcelona,* I know it feels great to finally BE where you were going, even if the setting in part takes a while. Hope your DH finds an editing job soon.

Count me in for the bead swap!

And Woody's been hitting, too, when he gets pissed at us or is really tired and just crabby. We mostly take his hands gently and say, "You may not hit mamma/daddy," and then in a really cheery voice we say, "But you can wallop the sofa!" And we try to make a fun game of it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it annoys him. But yes, definitely right there with y'all in the "frustration exploration" phase!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Ugh. I was just reminded that I'm taking dh to the airport at 4 a.m. and not picking him up until Sunday evening. This will be my first real foray into fake single-motherhood. I wonder if I could get him to take the dogs with him...


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes!!! It was a really lovely day, and DH gave me tons of loot, and tons of love.









I'd like to the bead swap too, if anyone is keeping track. You know, I am ashamed to say I still have our pregnancy beads, and I never strung them.







: This time though, I am determined to make something and maybe I will use all of the beads together. I'm excited.









So here's something I've been thinking about the past few days....I find myself wishing that I didn't get so easily frustrated or annoyed by the little things that just come with the territory when you're a mama (whining, everything taking forever, having a pile of folded laundry suddenly unfolded, not being able to grocery shop without it being a constant battle, etc.)...and just kind of feeling like I wish I could rise above my negative feelings. I try to remind myself that every moment is a precious moment and even go so far as to use the scare tactic on myself of, "If something happened to her, you would wish for one more trip to the grocery store together." I know, that's extreme (and hopefully doesn't sound morbid) but I think it helps me to keep perspective in any given moment. I try to remind myself that I can make any moment/experience either positive or negative, and sometimes I can do better than others.

*So, Mamas, I'm just wondering*: how do y'all feel that you do in this regard? Do you try to live in the moment, practice Zen parenting, and not allow yourself to react to everything? If so, what helps you?

That is your deep thought for the day.









Oh, and another thing I was thinking - would you guys be interested in doing something like a "question of the month," to be posted in the first day or so of each new monthly thread? I think it would be kind of fun. Sometimes I wish we had our own forum like when we were pregnant so that a new thread could be created for things like this.

Sending love and hugs out to everyone in lieu of personals tonight. I'm whipped.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
*So, Mamas, I'm just wondering*: how do y'all feel that you do in this regard? Do you try to live in the moment, practice Zen parenting, and not allow yourself to react to everything? If so, what helps you?

That is your deep thought for the day.










I have to say this is something I am staying on top of. There are times that I want to pull my hair out...but honestly. I live in every moment, every bubble, every button, every giggle, every tear... because I so deeply treasure the times I have with my son.

I think part of this is just who I am. I have always been a nurturer and my lifelong dream was to be a mother. I think working mothers are insane, and though I am a feminist in many regards I think the feminist movement was the worst things for mothers.

I am a Christian, but I often refuse to claim that because Christianity in America is often a joke. I would rather my life show my beliefs than my words...I live this in the way I parent my son, the way I love my husband, the way I do my job *although I seriously hate my job*

I believe in the curses that were given in the garden in Genesis. The man was cursed that he would have to work for a living. The woman cursed to have pain in childbirth and the snake cursed to crawl on his belly. I believe that the feminist movement is taking on the curse of both the man and the woman and though women are strong and can endure that...it is the child who suffers the most in that regard. With that said. I am a working mother.

I think that being a working mother and feeling the way I do about working mothers is one of the things that helps me see past the little things and enjoy every moment I have with my son. I still cry when I drop him off at daycare and he's been going since he was 6 weeks old. I rush over to get him when I'm off work. I follow him around and follow his cues around the house and often fall asleep nursing him leaving the laundry and the dishes to be done another time. Many times he helps me do these chores and instead of taking 10 minutes to put clothes away...it takes us a half hour...but we giggle and crawl in and out of the dryer and listen to the door of the dryer.

Honestly...when Jacob was 14 months old we *DH and I* had the most amazing revelation that we seriously live by. In fact writing down now makes me think I should really make a magnet of it and put it up on my fridge. We were walking in to a mall to look for a wedding dress







(I'M MARRIED TO THE MOST AMAZING MAN!!!) Jacob was stopping *A LOT* He bent down and started feeling the grass. We didn't stop him or pick him up but bent down and started looking at and feeling the grass with him. This was so new and exciting to him. We continued inside feeling the side of the trashcan, the bench, the stone walls of the mall, the glass of the doors and the extra 10 minutes that took was the world to him. He was glowing. Now we remember everyday to feel the grass.

One of the things DH loves to tell people about is the choice he makes to spend time or stress. It takes a few minutes to say *goodbye* to whatever Jacob was doing before we leave, or mass amounts of stress in his frustration and anger at being pulled away from something he wants to be doing. We prefer to spend a little time to save a LOT of stress.

It is important for mama to be taken care of and I have to say that in that case I am the most amazingly blessed woman in the world. DH has been a SAHD when we had to fire our DC at the end of last school year for negligence, so he knows what it is like to have that responsibility and he knows how much I want it. He takes care of me. He brings me breakfast in bed while I am nursing Jacob. He packs our lunches and takes care of the kitchen. He cooks dinner many nights and we switch off cleaning up the kitchen and giving Jacob his bath. He respects me and the mother I am.

*That respect and love is really the answer to HOW do I do it.* that, and the strength and love I have in my faith and my God.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Any suggestions on when I should call the count final and have everyone start sending them in?

Is 2 weeks enough time for everyone to get them in after we have the final count?

Here is our list so far...
kaspirant
spughy
MamaFern
SoulJourney
flapjack
HoneyTree
*Amy*
Susannah M
Kavita
spiritmomma
barcelona
MelW
DreamsInDigital <---we got you mama...trust me!!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

If you're on the east coast or beyond, it's my birthday now and this is the worst f'in birthday I've ever had. And Mercury is entering retrograde so it's only getting worse. Worse? WTF else could go wrong?


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 







If you're on the east coast or beyond, it's my birthday now and this is the worst f'in birthday I've ever had. And Mercury is entering retrograde so it's only getting worse. Worse? WTF else could go wrong?

*hugs* Oh mama. there are no words

...be cherished...


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
You know, I am ashamed to say I still have our pregnancy beads, and I never strung them.







:

Ha ha, I'm even worse--I never strung them, but I really really wanted to have them in labor--so the day I woke up with contractions and knew I was starting early labor, I waddled downtown to a bead store in the afternoon in the attempt to get them strung amidst contractions, but they were closed!!! So they are still not strung!!

Maybe we can combine the beads for the first swap and the beads from this one and make longer necklaces!

Amy--Happy Birthday!!!!!

kaspirant--count me in on the swap too!


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

DiD--I hope your birthday gets better!! Hugs to you, it will get better.

MamaFern--you'll get through the moving! Also--take some probiotics for the tummy thing, it should help restore your bacterial balance, that gets affected when your pooper is out of whack!

barcelona--glad to hear that you are all moved! I totally know what you mean about taking longer than you want to get settled in and organized. We're going through the same thing here. We planned to be able to move in on Saturday but it was still so stinky because of the floors just being done that morning, that we decided to wait until Sunday night. So DH started his job on Monday and so he's not here to help anymore, which is making things go slower. I'm also maybe about half unpacked--the kitchen is mostly unpacked and somewhat organized. The books are all unpacked and on shelves in the basement. (Yay for lots of built-in shelving!) The clothes are maybe half unpacked, and several boxes of other random stuff are unpacked. But lots of stuff is still in the garage, and our desk is not set up yet (because we're missing parts of the actual *desk*) and it now appears that our washer is broken. But I'm finding that it's seeming easier to declutter on the other side of moving--there are certain things that I was on the fence about and kept that I just take out of a box and go, "UGH--you again!" and know that I am not going to keep. Similarly, there are things that I take out of a box and I'm so excited to see them and have found them! I'm enjoying the fresh start too, actually. And I bought a few things for the new house, nothing major but some new dishtowels and a couple of pillows to replace the ones that were looking really stained and ratty. So that was fun.

Amy--I hear you on the Zen thing. For me it is a constant struggle to be patient (with DD, DH, things in general, etc.) and I fail more than I care to admit. I just keep trying. I try to remind myself that the current problems or frustrations are really pretty temporary--in even six months Ella will have grown and changed and I'll be on to a new and different set of problems and frustrations!







I also find that getting enough time to myself and doing things to take care of myself is a really important thing for me to keep my patience the rest of the time--I don't want to be the martyr mom, and I remember, "if mom ain't happy, nobody's happy!" So I try to keep myself happy. This mostly involves adequate rest, adequate time by myself without DH or DD, and the occasional pedicure!

Helen--glad to hear that you're feeling good, in a bad sort of way, or bad, in a good sort of way . . . whichever it is!

spughy--hope you start enjoying your job more! I can relate to what you said about putting into it--I had a similar issue with my former job. Also, don't beat yourself up over chocolate past!







Funny about the happy boobie!

kaspirant--hope things settle down with your friend. Just to offer the other perspective--I have had similar feelings with being uncomfortable with other kids being really aggressive or grabby or pushy or boisterous with Ella. I was at a library storyhour once and there were about a million babies/toddlers there swarming all over in this little room, and at some point Ella wandered into a corner to explore something and this other little boy who was a few months younger but really big and burly went over there with her, and the next thing I knew I went over to see what they were doing (they were sort of out of view behind someones's huge honking stroller







: ) and he had her down on her hands and knees, standing over her, pushing down on her mid-back with one hand and pulling the crap out of her hair with the other hand, so that her back was totally arched and her head was totally yanked back and it was really hurting her. She normally doesn't cry much if she falls or gets pushed or knocked over by another kid, but it was really hurting her and she was crying and screaming like I haven't heard before or since. I swear that I actually had to employ defensive tactics training technique to the situation, to get him to release his death grip on her hair without her ending up getting scalped--he really was pulling it that hard. (I actually had to shove his hand INTO her head more to keep him from pulling and get him to release his grip, and pry his fingers off one by one.) Anyway, I found the situation really upsetting--I was kind of shaky for a while. I hope you don't find this totally weird, but I almost felt like the thing was a little suggestive of sexual aggression, with the pose he had her in, etc. I was really upset about her being hurt and scared, I was really upset about letting her get into that situation and not protecting her, I was really upset that she was in this position where this other kid was overpowering her and she couldn't get out of it, etc., and worried and scared for her that she is sometimes really sort of passive with other little kids and doesn't seem to even realize when they are trying to hurt her (not in that occasion, but often if other kids hit or push she just sort of gives them this bewildered look, like, hey, dude, what are you doing?) Anyway, I had to really think about it, because I felt like my reaction was disproportionate to the situation. (I think I responded well in terms of actions, but emotionally it was really disturbing to me. Even writing it now is a bit disturbing to me.) I have realized that my own experience of male violence affects how I see other people interacting with my daughter. It shouldn't matter that she is a girl and the other kid was a boy--but it did--I don't think I would have seen it the same way at all if the other kid was a little girl, or if DD were a boy. I have to really watch myself and my own reactions in that way, and remind myself that this is normal toddler behavior and that my job in play situations is to intervene and protect when it is appropriate, and help model and teach her how to interact approriately with other kids and to be sensitive to other's feelings and motivations in other circumstances, and to allow her to discover things on her own in yet other circumstances. (This is a tough one--supervise too loosely and you're neglectful and permissive, supervise too closely and you're a neurotic smothering helicopter parent!) But in any case, I have to really watch my own reactions and projections, as they really don't have as much to do with the situation as they do with me. I just offer this to say that your friend may have an interpretation of the situation (which is mostly unconscious as most of our interpretations usually are to us) that is upsetting her more than it appears to you that the situation warrants.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

No time to post. Just sending quick







to DiD- here's to the next year being the time that you leave the troubles behind and move forwards with Jim and your beautiful family.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

DiD, my heart is with you. I hope that something, just one good thing, happens to you today so that you don't have a memory of purely sadness on such a special day.


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

DiD. I truly hope you find peace in your day. You are such a caring, giving mama to your four kiddos. Just having the children and Jim is such a gift in itself. Happy Birthday, mama.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

I think of myself as parenting in the moment for the most part. There are probably a few minutes each day, maybe totallilng ten, where I just think, Gah, this is IT, I need to get away from this BABY! But you know, I was trying to finish graduating when Woody was a wee little guy, and it was SO hard, as so much was in those first months. And one day it came to me, what, for me, would be the secret of calm parenting: *You can't care whether or not you get anything done*. When it becomes a challenge, you have to let go of the laundry, and the grocery shopping, and the whining, and everything, and just be there with this baby. I don't think I'm at a place where I relish these moments yet, but I can kind of "give up" to them and just try and _be_ there, in whatever state I'm in, and trust that what needs to get done will get done, and that "need" is a very subjective word anyway.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

*Happy birthday, DiD!*


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

DiD: Make it a joyful birthday! Teach your kids a new song... It's a mantra for drawing abundance. It goes like this: Om Shrim Shriyei Namaha. Think it to yourself whenever you can. Teach it to your kids and get used to the sound of this mantra echoing throughout your home. Abundance is waiting to find you! You can hear the sound of the chant here. Just scroll down to the track listing and it's track number 6. Many blessings to you and yours. (btw: I added your family's name to our prayer box at church. Lots of wonderful people are sending you energy!)

*Amy* Sorry I missed your birthday! Hope it was happy!







:

So, okay, I THINK I want to do the bead swap thing, but can someone fill me in on how it works? We all send x number of beads to one person, and they sort them, and mail them to us? If so, I'm in. I'll keep posted for more details.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Y'all are such an inspiration to me!!! Thanks to Alicia, Kavita, and Teresa for posting about Zen parenting. I try to practice a lot of what each of you said, so I guess I am doing OK.







I think part of the reason I am thinking about this so much lately is the Daily Groove email that I signed up for a few months ago (which, thank you to whomever suggested it - SoulJourney maybe?). It really gives such great ideas and examples, and I try to be mindful of the general principles throughout my day. And I definitely think that letting go of the little stuff is such a huge part of maintaining sanity!!

Oh, I finally posted a few pictures of Ella and Brynn on my blog. It's the second entry from the top, and the pictures are toward the bottom of the entry.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

Happy Birthday Lydia








i can relate to having a bad day..my last birthday i think i cried all day. things will get better.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spiritmomma* 
So, okay, I THINK I want to do the bead swap thing, but can someone fill me in on how it works? We all send x number of beads to one person, and they sort them, and mail them to us? If so, I'm in. I'll keep posted for more details.

Yeppers. You will go find the most wonderful bead and buy (x) number of them. Send all yours to me and I will take one from each and mail them back out to all who participate! We currently have 11 mama's participating I think...or close to that so you would buy 11 beads and get back 11 different ones


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kavita* 
kaspirant--hope things settle down with your friend. Just to offer the other perspective--I have had similar feelings with being uncomfortable with other kids being really aggressive or grabby or pushy or boisterous with Ella. I was at a library storyhour once and there were about a million babies/toddlers there swarming all over in this little room, and at some point Ella wandered into a corner to explore something and this other little boy who was a few months younger but really big and burly went over there with her, and the next thing I knew I went over to see what they were doing (they were sort of out of view behind someones's huge honking stroller







: ) and he had her down on her hands and knees, standing over her, pushing down on her mid-back with one hand and pulling the crap out of her hair with the other hand, so that her back was totally arched and her head was totally yanked back and it was really hurting her. She normally doesn't cry much if she falls or gets pushed or knocked over by another kid, but it was really hurting her and she was crying and screaming like I haven't heard before or since. I swear that I actually had to employ defensive tactics training technique to the situation, to get him to release his death grip on her hair without her ending up getting scalped--he really was pulling it that hard. (I actually had to shove his hand INTO her head more to keep him from pulling and get him to release his grip, and pry his fingers off one by one.) Anyway, I found the situation really upsetting--I was kind of shaky for a while. I hope you don't find this totally weird, but I almost felt like the thing was a little suggestive of sexual aggression, with the pose he had her in, etc. I was really upset about her being hurt and scared, I was really upset about letting her get into that situation and not protecting her, I was really upset that she was in this position where this other kid was overpowering her and she couldn't get out of it, etc., and worried and scared for her that she is sometimes really sort of passive with other little kids and doesn't seem to even realize when they are trying to hurt her (not in that occasion, but often if other kids hit or push she just sort of gives them this bewildered look, like, hey, dude, what are you doing?) Anyway, I had to really think about it, because I felt like my reaction was disproportionate to the situation. (I think I responded well in terms of actions, but emotionally it was really disturbing to me. Even writing it now is a bit disturbing to me.) I have realized that my own experience of male violence affects how I see other people interacting with my daughter. It shouldn't matter that she is a girl and the other kid was a boy--but it did--I don't think I would have seen it the same way at all if the other kid was a little girl, or if DD were a boy. I have to really watch myself and my own reactions in that way, and remind myself that this is normal toddler behavior and that my job in play situations is to intervene and protect when it is appropriate, and help model and teach her how to interact approriately with other kids and to be sensitive to other's feelings and motivations in other circumstances, and to allow her to discover things on her own in yet other circumstances. (This is a tough one--supervise too loosely and you're neglectful and permissive, supervise too closely and you're a neurotic smothering helicopter parent!) But in any case, I have to really watch my own reactions and projections, as they really don't have as much to do with the situation as they do with me. I just offer this to say that your friend may have an interpretation of the situation (which is mostly unconscious as most of our interpretations usually are to us) that is upsetting her more than it appears to you that the situation warrants.


I truly appreciate this and honestly I think I would have reacted in much the same way in the situation you described. The thing is DS does NOTHING like that at all. He spins and swings his arms. Sometimes he hits into things or people. He gives hugs and kisses that are sometimes a little tight. He throws toys *everything is a ball right now* He was watching some big kids play baseball and has been trying out his *swing* And now he has bitten her daughter once. I saw immediately where I should have stepped in and didn't. The situation wouldn't have gotten to that point if *I* had stepped in sooner. I take full blame for that. Her daughter has taken toys away from DS on many occasions. Both of the kids are toddlers and act as such. I just thought the pros outweighed the cons. She apparently doesn't see that.

I am feeling much the same way as I did when my dad said the incredibly hurtful things about my wedding. I don't want that spirit in my home. If that is truly the way she feels than going our separate ways *as much as it pains me* is in DS and my best interest because her attitude toward him will just continue to fuel the fire. He is so incredibly sensitive to emotions and feelings and now that I *know* how she feels about him more clearly it makes sense that he acts out more when she is around. Knowing doesn't make it easy. At this point it will take an act of God for me to let her back to the level of friendship she had in my life. I am not slamming the door as much as I'd like to write exactly what I think and feel and push send in an email to her, I am just waiting and praying and I will see where God leads the friendship....but in the place I am right now I can't see it ever reaching BF status again and I will never be as open and available.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Thank you all so much for your wonderful loving birthday wishes. My kids came in at 6am to say happy birthday mommy! Which was sweet except that I'd been up until 2:30am crying and stressed and worrying and unable to sleep. Gabriel and my mom made me some amethyst earrings which Gabriel has been holding on to for over a week and he couldn't wait to give them to me. They're really pretty and amethyst is my favorite.








My dad came over and brought me a gift card to Red Robin and one to the cinema so we're going out for dinner (yay!) and then my mom's next weekend off she's going to watch most of the kids (we'll take Suriya) while Jim and I go see a movie. They also got me a $50 gas card but um...I just sort of smiled and said I'd put it aside for when we get another car.
I can't believe I'm really 26. Wow.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
Both of the kids are toddlers and act as such. I just thought the pros outweighed the cons. She apparently doesn't see that.

You are so right! I think we have all had moments when we've thought, "Oh s**t!!" because our children have done something inappropriate or have inadvertantly hurt someone else. I would be very surprised if she doesn't have a moment sometime during the next year or two when she realizes that we can't control everything our children do, and they aren't always predictible! It's like having a domesticated tiger in your house; you think you've got them trained and socialized, but then WHAM! They rip the neighbor's jugular open.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
but in the place I am right now I can't see it ever reaching BF status again and I will never be as open and available.

I know that must make you sad.







Losing that closeness with someone is really hard. But like you said, you just have to trust that this is the right path for both of you, wherever it leads.

Awww, DiD, I am so glad there is a bit of a silver lining for you today. Hooray for your loving family!!

Brynn's sprouting a new molar on top today, so she's had a pretty crappy morning, poor darlin.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Kaspirant, I seem to recall that last time we did a bead swap we all included in our packages that we sent to the organizer (you) stamps to cover postage back to us, and maybe self-addressed little padded envelopes? Some mamas also included little notes about their beads, why they chose them and such, but most of us just posted our thoughts after everyone had received their packages.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I wish I could participate in the bead swap, but...you know.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
I wish I could participate in the bead swap, but...you know.

Don't worry about it mama! We'll talk


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

**Amy** Thanks for the kind words. It's so hard right now but I'm trying to keep my head up and desparately trying not to say something I'll regret.

*HoneyTree* - A SASE is a great idea...That would make my job loads easier!!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

Oh DiD, I am so sorry you are having such a hard birthday. I hope that it brightens, and that you can find a joyful moment or thought amidst the stress and troubles and sadness. I know it can be hard...Thinking of you, and sending loving thoughts your way!

And Amy, Sorry I missed your birthday yesterday! Hope it was a great one.

More later









OH, and kaspirant, do count me in on the bead swap!!!


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Helen: LMK if the morning sickness gets to the point where you'd like a break







I can send you a few preggie pops.

I totally wish I could do the whole *Zen parenting thing* but I am NOT good at it! I feel like this after reading your posts







:









Hugs to mamas who need them!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
Don't worry about it mama! We'll talk









I was going to say the same thing


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
Don't worry about it mama! We'll talk

















:

**Amy*:* Zen Parenting...hmmmm...could you guys help me out with this one?!







: I really, really, REALLY try hard to live in the moment and I do a FABULOUS job of it when it's just Noah and myself. 45 hours a week, though, when I care for a toddler who is WHHIIIIIIINEY 95% of the time, who's favourite word (thanks to his mama) is NONONONONONONOOOOO, who I have to literally baby wrangle to get him to take any sort of a nap and who's territorial as all get out (READ: actually pushes NOAH around most of the time and Noah's twice his size)...there is NO Zen in my life.







: Getting off of my bitch train now...can you tell we've had a rough time lately?! Seriously, though, when Noah and I have time to ourselves, I cherish every moment of it, good or bad. That doesn't mean I don't get frustrated or angry sometimes. I try not to beat myself up over it, though. Just when I think I'm a horrible parent and someone else is *THE* perfect parent, they go and have a "moment" that I would have never expected from them. Point being, even perfectly "Zen" parents are never perfect. Does any of this even make any sense?!?!?! I'm SOOOOOOOOO tired tonight. And YES, Amy, I have also found a lot of wisdom and insight in the Daily Groove e-mails. Love them.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I'm de-lurking to say I want to be part of the bead swap, too!








and happy birthday to DiD & Amy.

I'll try to catch up tomorrow. But we did it! Six hours of driving, two hours of waiting for a ferry, 90 minute ferry ride then dinner followed by another three hours of driving- with a toddler and only one major meltdown. Neela is an amazing traveller!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

We have 13 mama's so far... I'm thinking that I'll have the final count this time next week *unless anyone has a good reason for stopping sooner or going longer* and then we'll work toward getting all the beads to me by the 10th of July or so...<---Absolutely random date that totally can be changed.

Here is our list so far...
kaspirant
spughy
MamaFern
SoulJourney
flapjack
HoneyTree
*Amy*
Susannah M
Kavita
spiritmomma
barcelona
MelW
DreamsInDigital <---we got you mama...trust me!!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quick post!

Happy Birthday to Amy & DiD, sorry I'm late with this







bad me.

Big news: DH got a job offer. There are some things still to be negotiated so I'm not doing a happy dance quite yet but it's looking good. Keep your fingers crossed for us!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

*SoulJourney* - You are right on that no one is perfect! It's a journey, just like your name suggests and there are all kinds of days and obstacles we *ALL* encounter on our journey's! I'm just glad I get to walk along this path of my journey with such an amazing group of mama's!

*spughy* Here's hoping!! That is exciting news...I'll save my happy dance for when you are ready for it


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

I sooooo need to work on the Zen parenting. I'm way too short-tempered and get frustrated much too easily. I can try to explain it (not justify, though) by saying that by the time Killy was a toddler, I was pregnant. When Killy was the age our babies are now, I had a newborn. And, Killy is very high-needs. He's a wild and wonderful kid! Throw a husband who works 80+ hours a week into that, and my patience is running pretty thin most of the time. I find that it is absolutely necessary for me to have 30-60 minutes a day by myself or just with other adults for me to be a really good mama (and after the kids are asleep it doesn't count, I'm exhausted by then!). But, I only get that 1-2 days a week, so I'm not a very good mama most of the time. I'm hoping once we get all caught up from moving that things will settle down a bit and I'll be able to have a few kid-free minutes every day.

I'm self-concious about even writing that out. I know that several of you probably think I really suck for wanting a few minutes alone each day, and I'm afraid that the working moms will be offended because it might seem that I'm painting it as "I have it so much harder because I'm with my kids 24-7, if I had a job I'd have my adult-only time and be a perfect mommy the rest of the time." and that's not what I'm trying to say.

Well, I'm having a kind of a down day. Sorry, everyone... Tonight is date-night, though, so hopefully the day will get better! It is nice having my parents only a few miles away and able to babysit - I just try not to ask too often because they both work 40+ hours a week and take care of my grandfather on the weekends, so I know they're continually exhausted. And, my ILs don't like to drive after dark, so they won't babysit for date-nights, only stuff on the weekends.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
Big news: DH got a job offer. There are some things still to be negotiated so I'm not doing a happy dance quite yet but it's looking good. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

*fingers crossed*

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
I'm self-concious about even writing that out. I know that several of you probably think I really suck for wanting a few minutes alone each day, and I'm afraid that the working moms will be offended because it might seem that I'm painting it as "I have it so much harder because I'm with my kids 24-7, if I had a job I'd have my adult-only time and be a perfect mommy the rest of the time." and that's not what I'm trying to say.

i don't think you suck







time on one's own is sooooooo important in my mind, but honestly if you had asked me about that before keagan was born or even up until he was about a year or so old i would probably have said something different than i will today. really, i don't think there is such a thing as a *perfect mommy* as we are taught to believe. we all need time alone, and that does not have to be a bad thing. i do work out of the home and sometimes it is a really nice break from the craziness of life with a toddler


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
I find that it is absolutely necessary for me to have 30-60 minutes a day by myself or just with other adults for me to be a really good mama (and after the kids are asleep it doesn't count, I'm exhausted by then!). But, I only get that 1-2 days a week, so I'm not a very good mama most of the time. I'm hoping once we get all caught up from moving that things will settle down a bit and I'll be able to have a few kid-free minutes every day.

I'm self-concious about even writing that out. I know that several of you probably think I really suck for wanting a few minutes alone each day,

No, I definitely don't think you suck, *Jen*. I am so with you on needing a bit of alone time, and also agree that after dinner/bedtime just doesn't cut it. It is probably the #1 most important factor in keeping myself balanced, which is why I actually get up early 3 days a week and go for a walk/run in the park by myself for about 45 minutes before DH leaves for work. I've been doing it for a month now, and I swear it's changed my life! DH keeps commenting on how happy he is that I have been doing this because he can see such a huge difference in how patient, calm, tolerant, and balanced I am. Even my PMS has decreased remarkably! And even on your worst days, I KNOW that you are nothing short of a great Mama!

*Spughy!* I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and DH!!

*Mel*, glad your trip went better than expected.







Hooray for good little travelers, huh?!

*Michelle*, I hear you on the whining. My child is a whiner of epic proportions, which is probably Karma, because I have a distinct recurring memory from childhood of my mother telling me to "stop whining!!!"







It really could be used as a form of torture, I'm convinced. I probably tell Brynn to use her "big girl voice" at least 200 times a day. She usually does, but she has to be reminded. So I know how it wears you down!!

*Helen*, how are you feeling today? How far along are you now?

*Fern*, thinking about you and hoping the move and settling process goes smoothly for your family!!

*DiD*, how was the rest of your birthday? Did you get to go out to dinner? Hope it was lovely!

Yesterday was probably one of the toughest on record for Brynnie B. She got to the point where she was literally writhing in pain on the floor, throwing herself down, wanting to be picked up, and just generally near hysterics for about 15 minutes. I gave her a dose of Motrin, and she was like back to normal within 10 minutes. I know she must have been in a lot of pain, so I did my best to Zen parent her all day (and last night too!). I was kind of pissed at DH though because he didn't even get home until almost 7:00, and then went to work out without even really asking me if it was OK, so I was wiped out and irritated for the rest of the evening. Gr! Husbands. Well, OK, he is pretty fabulous about 99% of the time, but that 1%....Gr!









I get to go get my hair cut and fixed up this afternoon, so I'm really excited about that! I'll post new pics later this weekend if I like how it turns out.









Oh how funny - I was just looking at the MDC forums front page to see if today was anyone's birthday, and I saw that it was one of my real-life friend's birthday, and I didn't even know.







Thanks for the reminder, MDC! Better head out and go send her an ECard.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We did go out to dinner and for dessert I had a mud pie which Jim and I shared, then we came home and watched So You Think You Can Dance and went to bed. I suppose it could have been worse. Jim could have told the staff at Red Robin to sing happy birthday to me. That would have been the height of embarrassment. We did get this cute picture of Suriya when she fell asleep in the sling. Sleepy girl


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

one day and counting







:

my friend (and MDC momma) came to visit from far away and stayed over last night with her 21 month old daughter and it was so nice! it was a great break from my insane life right now.
im really so ready to be on the road all packed and headed "home"

the bead swap sounds good. im excited!

i put a few new ngaio pics in our blog..what else..

did:surya is so beautiful. im glad your birthday turned out ok after all. i could totally go for some mudpie right now









amy: thanks for sharing the sweet pictures. brynn is insanely adorable. i love her hair. ngaio wont let me put hers up







it makes me so sad.
have a fun haircut!

QOC: some time alone or with adults is totally and completely necessary.. its not always possible for me but it really makes me a better momma too. you are not bad for needing/wanting that at all...infact i think that when we listen to and act on what we need it makes us better parents. how can we always give and give and give and not replenish ourselves?

sarah: good luck with the job!


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

*Sarah:* Fingers crossed, mama!

*Jen:* If you are a bad mama, call me the devil. Just recently have I started to REEEAAALLY crave more alone time. So much that I sometimes think to myself "Self, maybe you would be a better mama if you worked *away* from Noah every day instead of *with* him." Then I realize that would make things worse for me. So, technically, I am a stay at home but working full time mama. With Noah 24/7 but also working 45 hours a week. Like Fern said, time for yourself is NECESSARY. It helps us be better mamas. Now if I could only get MORE of that time!









BTW, y'all...I only have sporadic use of a computer these days so don't go working out details of the bead swap without me! *Alicia*...when you get a head count of everyone just PM us all your snail mail addy. I think SASEs are a good idea to send with our beads.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Well, the Buddha would not have been smiling on my parenting this morning, either. As I mentioned before, I am flying solo this week with the little man and the slobbering beasts, and mind you, Dh has only been out town since early YESTERDAY morning, but by this afternoon, when:

Woody had dropped a baby spoon down the bathroom sink,
And emptied a large potted Norfolk Island pine of most of its dirt,
And dumped his lunch (of curried rice) out onto the living room floor; and
I had found a massive (we're talking 4-inch) bug in the kitchen sink,
Gotten a letter saying my homeowners insurance was cancelled,
Dropped a full-length mirror on my foot,
Come home to garbage strewn about the kitchen where the dogs had gotten into it,
AND THEN gotten a call that the electricians were coming over in an hour,

I was not a zen parent. I cared very much whether or not things got done, and I wanted very, very, very much for my little boy to fall asleep _that instant_ so I could "fix" everything. I laid in bed nursing with a racing pulse, child kicking me in the stomach (feeling my stress, no doubt), cursing my husband for going out of town, and generally feeling like a sh*tty PERSON, not to mention mother and role model.

QoC, honey, it ain't just you.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

QofC- I don't think you suck. I remember that much as I love my boys, it was when Isaac hit his toddler years that the reality of having two so close together really kicked in. You have been continually nurturing physically and emotionally for 3 and a bit years now, and there comes a point in every mother's life when you have to say "That's it. I've done my baby years and now I need the next bit." That's one of the reasons why I wanted a close gap between Skye and no 4- because I know that I can't get all the way through again, start rebuilding my life as a person outside of children and then go back to mother-of-baby again. So- yeah. IMHO, this is a totally normal part of parenting.
Amy, I'm either 6+5 or 7+1 right now, depending on how you like to do the maths







I'm feeling more confident actually, this is the furthest I've got and still felt this sick







.
Spughy, I'm crossing my fingers for you. I know how much getting your dh into gainful employment means to you








Susannah, the preggy pops would be lovely. Thankyou!
Fern, I meant what I said. Do NOT disappear without a snail address, otherwise I may have to come over there to find you in person- and trust me, you don't want a cranky nauseous pregnant Brit stalking you through the wilderness. I'll bring grey squirrels and crayfish and other bad things to drive you out of hiding...
DiD, I can't believe Jim ate some of your mud pie on your birthday and didn't let you have it all to yourself (shakes head disapprovingly. ) I thought he was a gentleman


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Fern, how are you feeling mama?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

ROFL Helen it was huge and I didn't even finish half of it. I asked him to help me eat it so it didn't get thrown out. He was a perfect gentleman.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oh, I forgot to share my bad day. Isaac (it's ALWAYS Isaac) lost his glasses three times and his shoes once before 8am. The phone rang at 8.10, with one of our antenatal teachers who wanted me to know that she was on the radio today, what would I like her to talk about?
The bus went without us at 8.22, instead we walked to the shop to buy things to go in lunchboxes. Got to the till, realised my purse was on the table. Back home, etc, got to school twentyfive minutes late and had to dash straight off to the mother and toddler group I run on the other side of town. Miraculously, I wasn't late for that, but I feel totally abused by some of the attendees- oh, and Skye trapped her fingers in the door hinges. Home, school, school fair, tantrums on the way home. It STUNK.
But you know what? I did good. I didn't lose my temper, I kept talking in "me" words, and I didn't kill Isaac, grab him by the ankles and swing him towards moving traffic, try and leave him at the shop in part-exchange or any of the other ideas that fleetingly crossed my mind. I survived.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Today was the last day of school.
It was amazing.
The kids did their yearbook signings and watched A Series of Unfortunate Events.
The last block of the day was lunch.
The period before lunch was my conference period.
I was done early.
*sigh of relief*
Urgent e-mail from prinicpal.
Mandatory staff meeting at 1 pm.
Contract time ends 12:45.
I want to go home.
Frustration.
Cancel lunch plans with DH.

Go to meeting.
Principal reads a horrible thing she wrote.
No feeling in her words.
No emotions.
Mr. D passed away last night.
Ms B was concerned he didn't call in sick yesterday and didn't come to work.
She went to his apartment last night.
She found his body.
We don't know anything else.

Okay, go be full of grief.
Have a good summer.

Emotions are flooding me right now.
I want to be happy school is out.
I want to feel the joy of summer.
I want to hold my son and know that I get to play and love on him for the next 2 and a half months.
But I'm empty.
No joy, no happy.
Sadness.
Death is such a numbing thing for the living.

Pray for the staff at my school.
Today was not a good day.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Oh, I forgot to share my bad day. [...]

Helen, forgive me, but on the heels of your comment about chasing down Fern and something about crawfish, I imagined this bad day of yours as something of a Britcom episode with you, my pregnant, nauseas, funny, funny friend, as its lovable star!

P.S. Fern, I was just checking out your blog, and over my shoulder Woody saw the picture of Ngaio and said, "Ooohhh! A BAby!" I'm jealous of you mamas who get to have your babies meet IRL.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Oh, Alicia, what a horrible thing to happen on the last day of school.







I hope you can talk with some of the other teachers about it and find some peace so you can enjoy your summer.

Helen, that sounds like a horrible day but it also sounds like you handled it with your usual aplomb. I suggest surgical glue every morning applied to Isaac's glasses and his face might solve some of your problems









I was just reading through Amy's post about poor Brynnie teething and thinking "I'm so glad we're through with that for now"... this thought obviously triggered some karma thing in the universe because this morning DH IM'd me and said there was something "off" with Rowan and he thought she was teething again. And I said nah, its probably some cognitive leap of development and the world is weirding her out for some reason. Then 5 minutes ago I had a good poke round in her mouth and discovered... the top of another molar. Of all the areas my kid HAS to be precocious in, why why why the teeth?!?!? She's not supposed to get 2 year molars until she's, well, two!

And she's figured out how to turn the tv on and off and open the tray on the dvd player.







:


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Oh, I forgot to share my bad day.

it sounds like you handled it very well








and i'll PM you for your address for the preggie pops!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
Today was the last day of school.

OMG, it sounds like the principal really had no idea how to deal with this teacher's death.







i would second the suggestion to talk with other teachers there.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Alicia, I'm so sorry. I've never lost a colleague, but one of Isaac's school friends passed last year and my mum's generation are now moving on slowly- it is so, so hard. Although death is such a big part of life, I know that teacher training doesn't discuss how to talk to pupils or each other about it at all, and that there's still a big taboo around it- cf. not telling the kids. Sending many hugs your way, and positive thoughts to you and your colleagues.
Theresa, I didn't know if you'd get that. Crayfish and grey squirrels were both imported to this country from North America, and they are both causing an untold amount of destruction to our ecosystem- the first sighting of a crayfish over here was only 8 years ago, but they seem to be getting everywhere. It's putting a lot of pressure on the rarer british breeds, like red squirrels and otters.
Spughy,







We're still doing canines here, and it's taking a while. The glue is seriously tempting, though...


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

kaspirant: I'm sorry your last day was so hard.







: Sounds like you are handling it well and I know you will enjoy your summer off.

*amy*: I put Isa's crib together last night and she was SO excited. I can't imagine that we have just put a crib together for our 18 month old







it's so weird! But she asked to get right into it when it was done. About 15 minutes later, when it was time for bed, she asked to be taken out, so we let her sleep on the twin mattress last night. We'll see what nap time brings today.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

HUGS for everybody. Especially Helen and kaspirant.

I've had a fricken migraine for over a week now. I've been getting them a lot and for long periods of time. Should I be worried?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

:







:












































DH took the job. As of July 13, I'm a SAHM!!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!

(Oh, and DiD - chances are good your migraines are due to stress... but it couldn't hurt to get checked out. Also, when's the last time you had your eyesight checked?)


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Well, not given the amount of stress that you're under at the moment. Continual worry can do this to you- I know that during the year my marriage broke up and shortly after, I was constantly popping immigram.
I don't need the extra hugs, btw. Isaac may drive me nuts on a regular basis, but right now I know how blessed I am. We have a tough month or so coming up financially, but we're going to get through and it's all going to be good.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Spughy, we x-posted. WOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 







:







:












































DH took the job. As of July 13, I'm a SAHM!!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!

OMG Spughy....YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*does a happy dance!*


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 







:







:












































DH took the job. As of July 13, I'm a SAHM!!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!


HOOOOOOOOOOOORAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! OMG, I am so happy for you Spughy!!!! I know you have been hanging in there with your job for so long. Isn't it interesting how right when we "give in" and try our best to get on board with something, the Universe seems to just click?

One month to go! You should add a new ticker to your signature.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

...and, further proof that somebody somewhere loves me today... I just won chocolate-making lessons!







(hopefully fair-trade chocolate







)


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
I've had a fricken migraine for over a week now. I've been getting them a lot and for long periods of time. Should I be worried?

before i got pregnant i had typical migraines really frequently for awhile - like once a week for a few months. then when i got pregnant i heard that any headache that lasts overnight is technically a migraine.







:
i used magnesium for a couple of years to treat my migraines. fairly cheap - you can get it at TJs, new seasons, probably even fred meyer's. now i use hyland's migraine formula (which reminds me, i need to get more now). i also would not be too worried with the amount of stress you've got right now, but if you can manage to get some magnesium i'd try that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 







:







:












































DH took the job. As of July 13, I'm a SAHM!!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!

i'm so happy for you!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Spughy that is SO awesome!!!!!!!!


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

sarah, thats so wonderful!

did:







migranes are hard. i use dto get them. i agree.. its probably from stress and anxiety and pent up emotions.. do some yoga or realse somehow.. it will make you feel better.

alicia, how horrible. im so sorry for your loss. what a crappy way to end the school year. i hope that your days following are much better.

helen:








just because

so im totally dead on my feet. we have been packing and loading the moving truck for hours. its still not quite done. its crazy how much *Stuff* a family of 4 can have..and we dont even have that much (*i dont think..compared to most families). yikes.







:
my amazing sister has been here for 2 days watching the kids and playing with them and doing fun stuff that momma doesnt usually do because shes too tired







so thats been good i know that shes going to miss them and they her.







:

i used to love moving but that was when i had like 4 boxes of stuff and a backpack








but i am excited and i know that once we get there and get settled it will be worth the work. im not sure, but i probably wont check in for a few days, so dont worry about us.

love and squishes to you all.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Just popping in to say hi!

Spughy--that's great! Welcome back to SAHM-ism!

kaspirant--sorry for that horrible end to the school year.

Fern--I'm right with you there! We don't have *that* much stuff either (an opinion which was basically ratified by the moving company, who said that we're on the low side for a family our size) but it still is crazy when you have to move it! Most of our boxes are unpacked--the rest of our furniture and stuff is in the garage still!

Helen--I think Australia is probably laughing right now at your crayfish and squirrels!







Seriously, you just have to jazz up British cuisine with a crawfish etoufee and you'll be fine!









*Amy*--I have nothing to say to you. (Because I saw you twelve hours ago, lol!)














:

spiritmomma--how's Isa liking the crib so far?

Here, I cooked my first dinner in our new house tonight. I made three Indian dishes--of course, it ended up taking forever and we didn't eat until about 10 pm!

It's really great to have Amy here! Brynn is so cute--she is also very gentle and sweet. Of course, Ella looks even more mischevious next to her!









I'm off to Michigan to visit my family--my sister is having some problems and is sort of on the verge of a nervous breakdown. So I'm making a quick drive there at the crack of dawn tomorrow!

Oops, baby crying . . . gotta go! Love to all!


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Kaspirant~ I'm so sorry about your colleague. What a terrible end to the school year









Amy & Spiritmomma~ Your kids in cribs are totally amazing me at this age- Neela's tries to climb out of everything. If she stops co-sleeping any time soon I think we're destined for a mattress on the floor. Both DH and I slept were early crib escapees, apparently, and slept on the floor at this age









Spughy~







:







:







:







: Congrats to you and your DH!

Fern~ Good luck with your move and enjoy your new home! I think you win the prize for most nomadic in our DDC- isn't this your third (or more?) move in the time we've been together?

DID~







I hope you can de-stress and get rid of your migraines soon









We're still on vacation at my MIL's. After having a terrific day travelling here, Neela spent a day and a half in toddler meltdown exhaustion mode. EVERYTHING was a total freak out and she wanted non-stop nursing. I was glad to have DH and MIL here to make meals, clean up, etc., since Neela would scream if I tried to do anything but look after her (and even sometimes when I did). I was reading along about Zen parenting and feeling very un-Zen at times









Yesterday and today I have my lovely child back again. She's still a ball of energy, but at least has good moments to compensate for the screaming ones. This morning she even told me "Neela has a poopy diaper", instead of screeching at the mention of either a diaper change or using the toilet.

And I think that we'll move ahead a bit with potty learning when we get home. She gets it, or at least peeing. She used the toilet all day when we were driving here- every time we stopped she and I would both use the toilet, and she didn't wet a diaper until late afternoon. My silly girl loooves strange washrooms- she will pee on any public toilet but just needs more encouragement or reminding to do it at home







Since diaper changes have become such a frustration for her, we'll see if offering to be out of diapers helps any...

Yesterday was a beautiful day and Neela has been swimming in the ocean and played at the waterpark. My MIL bought a used trike for her, and she's been working hard to figure out how to pedal it. I'm enjoying having a back yard to play in- our apartment has a big commons area/playground, but a fence back yard is a true luxury for me. I can sit and sew a little and let Neela wander around without having her run off into a parking lot! Her favourite word for a couple of weeks has been campagne, which is French for countryside. It's my favourite, too


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hi all.

I had this massive huge long post written and MDC logged me off before I could post it (I'm on DH's computer). Bah. It was highly entertaining, but I don't really feel like recreating it and I expect Rowan will wake up from her nap pretty soon anyway.

Quick recap: we had a night of poo that culminated in a sobbing, unhappy baby, much laundry, a mysteriously cleaned up mess on the carpet, and a dog who looked like she knew she'd done something disgusting. Net result: Rowan has upset insides, and Daisy isn't allowed to lick her face for a while. uke

After all of that, we managed to get our excess crap together for a neighbourhood yard sale and made about $25 and got rid of lots of stuff. Yay! And one of my neighbours has some contract work he wants me to do when I become a SAHM with his distributed content management system so yay! money on the side. Doesn't sound like a lot of work, but it's exactly the kind of stuff I'm trained to do.

Mel, are you vacationing on the island? I remember you said something about a ferry... if so, is there any chance you'd swing by Victoria?

Fern, good luck with the move. I guess that's today. I'll be thinking of you.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Spughy~ I've been feeling vaguely guilty about never contacting you when I come to the Island, but I usually have come to Comox via Nanaimo. Until this time, when we did the Port Angeles-Victoria route. Unfortunately it was a quick pass through Victoria (and will be on our way back, too). But I really want to try to meet up with you guys later this summer (in late Aug/early Sept), when I'll be coming back to Comox again for my sister's wedding.

And EEEEWWWW about your dog







I'm not used to the toddler-dog dynamic, but my MIL's dog and Neela have been up to interesting antics. The dog doesn't really like kids (or actually any people), but she knows to hang out under the high chair. And today after some rain, the dog licked water off of the lawn furniture, and Neela copied her trick







:

For those of you who have no idea what or where Comox is, this is the kind of scenery that I grew up around.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Hi mamas! I just spent HOURS catching up on this thread! I know even writing this response in between everything else will take forever, too! So much going on with all of you, hope I don't forget anyone. I really do think of you all often and keep up with what's going on, even if I don't post.

DiD: happy belated birthday to you- sounds like your family was really sweet to you. I have been following your posts and thinking of you in your current situation; sorry I wasn't able to add my words of support sooner. I truly hope day by day that things begin to improve for all of you.

Amy- happy birthday to you, too! I just posted a comment on your blog so I won't repeat myself







REALLY scary about the bureau almost falling on Brynn- thank goodness it happened when you were right there. there have been several times where we have had near misses- have accidentally left a door open and found ez halfway down the stairs when he was a baby, or had them almost fall from a height at the playground, and recently Ethan fell from the top of the stairs (he was fine thankfully) things that actually have made me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat thinking what if???

Fern- where did you move to? I missed that part of the conversation. Are you still in Canada? What kind of job did you get? I missed that, too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
I am a Christian, but I often refuse to claim that because Christianity in America is often a joke. I would rather my life show my beliefs than my words

Amen, sister- me, too. I would never deny my faith, but need to figure out a more accurate way to phrase it so I am not lumped in with the farce that passes as christianity in our society. I don't want to be associated with that and I feel like when I say "I'm a Christian" people automatically think GWB, divisiveness, etc. and that is NOT me!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kavita* 
pushing down on her mid-back with one hand and pulling the crap out of her hair with the other hand, so that her back was totally arched and her head was totally yanked back and it was really hurting her. She normally doesn't cry much if she falls or gets pushed or knocked over by another kid, but it was really hurting her and she was crying and screaming like I haven't heard before or since.

O.M.G. That is just AWFUL! What did the mom say, if she was even around or paying attention? Did the kid understand he was doing anything wrong? What a horrible thing to happen, to Ella and to you.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
I sooooo need to work on the Zen parenting. I'm way too short-tempered and get frustrated much too easily. I can try to explain it (not justify, though) by saying that by the time Killy was a toddler, I was pregnant. When Killy was the age our babies are now, I had a newborn. And, Killy is very high-needs. He's a wild and wonderful kid! Throw a husband who works 80+ hours a week into that, and my patience is running pretty thin most of the time. I find that it is absolutely necessary for me to have 30-60 minutes a day by myself or just with other adults for me to be a really good mama (and after the kids are asleep it doesn't count, I'm exhausted by then!). But, I only get that 1-2 days a week, so I'm not a very good mama most of the time. I'm hoping once we get all caught up from moving that things will settle down a bit and I'll be able to have a few kid-free minutes every day.

This is pretty much where I'm at. I must have alone time every day, which used to be during naptime every afternoon, even if I was doing housework and emails I was still alone to think and concentrate. Now Ethan isn't napping any more, and 'quiet time' is a joke, so I'm getting no time to myself, ever and I'm really feeling it. I'm so much more short tempered (which, like you, started when I was pregnant and couldn't physically deal with my high needs child and ever since then have had many more bad mama moments) The past few weeks I have tried getting up early to read, pray, and stretch and it does hellp some. But it's so hard to lose more sleep, when I'm so drained to begin with. I often find myself reading till way too late at night just to be alone in the quiet, then I regret it in the morning.

I do try to stay in the moment and just enjoy my kids- and remember that THIS, right now, is life. This is what I wanted for so long, these babies, this house, friends and neighbors. I try to enjoy the feel of their soft hair and skin and pay attention to how they talk and move=- knowing that it will all be past so soon. It's so hard to balance what does need to get done with just letting go and playing with them- in reality, grocery shopping, cooking, and laundry CAN'T wait b/c we need to eat and we need clothes to wear! It's a constant, minute by minute balancing act, deciding .

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Oh, I forgot to share my bad day. Isaac (it's ALWAYS Isaac) lost his glasses three times and his shoes once before 8am. The phone rang at 8.10, with one of our antenatal teachers who wanted me to know that she was on the radio today, what would I like her to talk about?
The bus went without us at 8.22, instead we walked to the shop to buy things to go in lunchboxes. Got to the till, realised my purse was on the table. Back home, etc, got to school twentyfive minutes late and had to dash straight off to the mother and toddler group I run on the other side of town. Miraculously, I wasn't late for that, but I feel totally abused by some of the attendees- oh, and Skye trapped her fingers in the door hinges. Home, school, school fair, tantrums on the way home. It STUNK.
But you know what? I did good. I didn't lose my temper, I kept talking in "me" words, and I didn't kill Isaac, grab him by the ankles and swing him towards moving traffic, try and leave him at the shop in part-exchange or any of the other ideas that fleetingly crossed my mind. I survived.

Oooh, Helen. I can so relate. Sorry about the rough day







Sounds like you handled it with grace, though. much better than I would have. There were a few days last week where just everything I tried to do went wrong, and I was so down and discouraged. Still thinking of you with your little bean, may he grow strong!

Well, ladies, thanks for letting me back in on the conversation, and sorry I've been so sporadic.

ETA: Ok, 6 hours later I finally posted this but I see I missed Alicia's post about your colleague; I am so sorry, what an awful and shocking way to end the year


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Hi Mary! Good to see you round these parts again!







Thanks for the blog comment, too.

Mel, we've been saying lately maybe we should move to Cananda, but that picture makes me want to actually do it!







Good lord, and I thought Oregon was breath-taking.

We had a really nice father's day yesterday. We ended the day with a pic-nic at this private forest/arboretum that we've joined, so we just went at sat by the lake and watched the geese. It was so nice.

I'm feeling kind of poopy today. It's mainly PMS, but exacerbated by a disappointing trip to our new pediatrician. She seemed knowledgeable enough, but really lacked common courtesy. She didn't greet us, didn't even really pay attention to or make eye contact with Brynn at all, and left the room without saying goodbye, nice to meet you, thanks for coming, or anything. I thought it was just totally rude, but so typical of the medical professional mentality, which is like we owe them something for taking time out of their busy schedules to see us. So I'm not going back to her, and now I need to decide if I'm going to try someone else at that clinic, or just go somewhere totally different. It's annoying.








:


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Oh, I forgot to say that I did get Brynn on video saying "Oh my goodness!" so you can check it out!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hi mamas!

I second the "great to see you Mary"!

Amy, that's a bummer about the ped. I know what you mean about the dr. mentality. We're fortunate enough to have a really great family Dr. but I've run into SOOOOO many like that one. Good personable Drs are really the exception, I think. Anyway, I sent DH the link to those adorable videos of Brynn on your blog and he agrees that she is entirely too cute and has awesome hair









Yesterday I finally got around to using the gift certificate for a hot rock massage that DH got me for christmas (made the booking without realizing it was Father's Day... oops... but DH wanted to hang out with Rowan anyway) and OH MY GOODNESS was that ever an amazingly wonderful experience. Beyond relaxing. So good. Wow. And it did something to me, too - about 3 or 4 hours afterwards I got this weird rush of full-body fatigue, which would have been pleasant if I'd had the luxury of just going to bed, but Rowan had a wonky day and ended up sleeping from 5:30 to 7 and there was laundry to be done etc etc. So I felt kind of crappy all evening but still very relaxed. And I slept very well last night.

My period has finally returned in full force - last month I bled for a day and that was it. TMI ALERT: but something's *wrong* down there. I couldn't put a tampon in, it was too painful. I think the scarring that I got fixed didn't heal properly







(Yes, you WOULD think I would have noticed by now, but I'm not going to comment on the lack of activity in those parts...) I'm a bit worried. I just hope it IS fixable. I don't want to have to have another operation. And I have a terrible feeling that things are messed up enough that another vaginal birth might be out of the question.







: Which may be a moot point if it can't be fixed enough even to have intercourse.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Hey Spugh, I just sent you an email to your Telus account about your problems Down There, if you can check it from work.

I know, aren't hot rock massages the best??! We had a dual massage on our honeymoon (dual, like both of us at the same time, not like a dual where you have guns and try to shoot each other. Wait, that's duel, isn't it?







: ) and it was heavenly. I think that our healthcare system should provide weekly massages to moms with kids under 5 years old.









Quote:

she is entirely too cute and has awesome hair
Aww, thanks.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

LOL, Amy, loved the videos!! Oh my goodness!









That totally sucks about the ped, it must be hard moving and having to find a new one. It sounds like the good ones are few and far between these days.

Spughy- I am soooooooo jealous of your massage! Although I did get a spa day for Mother's Day. I could do that stuff daily and it still wouldn't be often enough!

I want to move to Canada, too. Is that possible? I'm serious. Would they let us in?

Amy, didn't you used to live in Yellow Springs, OH and said it was pretty cool? If I am remembering correctly, I would love to hear about it.

Oh, and







: I can now change my sig- the placenta has been buried! I thought Father's Day was a momentous enough occasion. Now that darn plant better not die!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Amy, I think you might possibly need to sleep more, or go have another massage or something. Yay for rocks, boo for crappy paediatricians.
Spughy, I would go and find a thinking professional to take a look at your lady garden. Sex is too important to be abandoned.
I'm having a really meh day. The big appointment with my GP to make the referral to the early pregnancy unit for a scan was today, and the tightwad fuckwits won't see me because my recurrent miscarriages aren't recurrent enough. (one was too early, one not diagnosed.) So I either get to wait until 12 weeks for a scan or pay 140 quid for a viability scan now. Opinions would be very welcome... I KNEW I should have lied and said that something was wrong instead of going in and saying "things are great, I have a good feeling but I need this confirmation..."


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Isn't it like the middle of the night there Helen? Why aren't you in bed?


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

Helen would they believe you if you said you had been spotting? I understand needing confirmation. The first midwife I had with Joseph didn't do us unless they were needed. At 14 weeks when we couldn't hear his heartbeat with the doppler she saw the panic on my face and knew I *needed* and us right then. Of course everything turned out well and I just had a tipped uterus, but when things haven't gone well in the past it can be hard to believe they will.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Amy - THANK YOU. I can get e-mails on that acct at work but I can't reply, for some reason. But that does give me hope.







I am going to make an appt with my dr. to see what she thinks. Helen, my dr is great, and definitely fits the "thinking professional" category, and if she can't think of anything, she'll refer me to someone who can - and I know she will respect my wishes not to be sent anywhere within whacking distance of that nasty old OB who botched my fix-up surgery.

Mary - Canada might let you in. Depends on the professional/skilled trades kind of skills you or your DH have, or if you have relatives in Canada who would sponsor your immigration request. Or you can just move here and work illegally, it'll probably take them a while to catch on. You can hide in our attic.







Congratulations on your placenta's new underground home, too!


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

*Amy:* OMFG!!!! Brynn has to be the cutest damn thing EVER!!! She is SO verbal! I know she has been for a while but it never ceases to amaze me! Are everyone else's babes that verbal??? Noah is DEFINITELY not. He is a do-er, not a talker. Oh...and Amy...have you thought about just nixing the pediatrician idea all together and looking for a good D.O. for the whole family? I strongly suggest it! Noah and I see an amazing D.O. here in Indy who practices Eastern and Western medicine.







him!

*Sarah:* Couldn't post without giving you a big







. I hope you get everything figured out "down there!" Ouch.

Ok...quick question for y'all then I have to run...What are your thoughts on referring to your kiddo by their middle name at this point in their lives? I'm asking because all through pregnancy I really felt strongly about using Sage as Noah's first name, or at least calling him Sage. I didn't do it because it doesn't flow well with our last name. He may possibly end up having to change his last name to his father's (long story, court order...ugh) and it wouldn't matter anyway. Noah just doesn't SUIT him. It means Peace...he is NOT peaceful. He seems like such an old soul and Sage (Wisdom) is just a better fit. I always call him Noah Sage (not just Noah) anyway because I love the name Sage so much. What do you think? Do you think it would cause too much confusion at this point to start calling him Sage? I'm curious to hear your opinions. My IRL friends are all torn...some think yes, some think no. What do you think?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Thanks Michelle.







I can't wait to get our kids together!!!! We need to make plans, dammit.

Anyway, as for the middle name thing, I totally don't think it would be inappropriate to start calling him by Sage if you feel that it suits him better now. I think that since you've been using that name consistently, it shouldn't cause him too much confusion. I mean, we all call our kids things other than their names all the time, and it doesn't seem to do irreparable harm.







Brynn actually responds to Punkin Pie, Punkie, or Honey Bunny. So, do it, if that's what feels right to you!

Oh, and no - I hadn't thought of a DO at all, but that's definitely worth looking into! Thanks for the idea.

Hey Helen, how much would that be in American dollars? I'd say if it isn't too much of a strain on your pocketbook, spring for it yourself. Otherwise, I will say that before I had my miscarriage back in 2004, I did have brown spotting for several days. I actually went to the ER got scanned immediately. Just sayin.

Spughy, did that sound like what you might be experiencing too? You can PM me if you want to go into more detail.









I'm spending way too much time on the computer today. Obviously. Better go forrage for some food so I can cook dinner tonight.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
...tightwad fuckwits









:







:







: Helen, I am so sorry that getting the care you need is such a pain in the tush, but you must know that you just gave me a new favorite expression!!!

Spughy, I'm crossing my fingers that it's an easy fix!

Amy, I'm sorry that your brush in with the ped. was, well, so frustratingly typical. The one time that we went in, when Woody was about six months, we saw the doctor's office nurse practitioner, and she was super. I think they get much more training, and practice, in patient relations than docs do, and if you're not really into alternative medicine, that might be a good in-between? But I second SoulJourney's rec for a D.O., too.

SoulJourney, I don't think it would be weird to change his name at this point, especially if he's been "Noah Sage" all along (which, I think, is really nice together!).

I have several friends who are massage therapists (there's a school in town, and lots of the graduates end up staying), and they all joke that if they'd only been the ones to heat up some rocks and throw them on people's backs, they'd be RICH! And I totally think that insurance should pay for massage! Imagine a world where preventative health measures were truly valued... I think war would end. Honestly.

Mary, we want to move, too. But we always want to move. I think we are both just not really "settled" people, even though I feel conflicted about it. There's always half of me that wants to be able to wisk away at a moment's notice and travel someone _else_, not necessarily chasing some intangible like "happiness" or "like-mindedness," just to see different places and experience different things. But the other half wants to watch the garden grow over many seasons and get to know the neighbors and buy produce from the same farmers at the market every week, etc. Sigh... isn't it great to be burdened with choices?









P.S. Spughy, congrats to you and DH, and yay for SAHMommyhood! I am finding this summer off with Woody delicous, and remembering that, as crappy as it sounds, summers off was one of the reasons I wanted to be a schoolteacher!!


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Hi from Michigan! I am here at my sister's house. I am not sure whether our presence is helping, or will be the final straw which pushes her completely over the edge!









I just deleted a big post, deciding it belonged more in my journal or blog than here. But suffice it to say that there is some level of family drama, of course. But overall we're having a good time. I can't believe how good a car traveler Ella is--we left at about 2:20 pm on Saturday and didn't arrive until about 10 pm. We made three stops--a quick gas station/bathroom trip a bit before Cincinnati, a 40 minute-ish McDonald's lunch and diaper change stop around Dayton, and a rest area bathroom/15 minutes on a (really cool!) rest area playground stop around Monroe, Michigan. Other than that, we were in the car for the whole time, and Ella was great! She slept a bit, but otherwise happily played with a couple of things, muched cheerios and crackers, looked out the window, and chatted away to herself. She cried maybe a few minutes, but that was it. Of course, I shouldn't say too much and superstitiously jinx myself for the return drive, lol!

I think I'd better get to bed . . .

Love to all!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

DiD- no, that post was made at 7.30 GMT (or just before I sat down and watched a programme about why I shouldn't be watching TV. I love panorama.)
Amy, 140 GBP is equivalent to 280 USD- but going by the buying power scale, it's also 280 mars bars, if that makes more sense. My mum's offering to help if we feel we need it, but I'm not so sure- I have bubbling just above my pubic bone.







: It's definitely not a flutter, but it's a weird sensation and it wasn't there last week. So either I have my hearts desire and early movement, or I'm in the last days of this pregnancy- and at this point, I can handle either. I felt Skye move at the 8/9 week mark, so I figure it's theoretically possible. I'm getting conscious of the fact that if just getting a scan at 8 weeks is this difficult, then I may be looking to find an independent midwife later on, which is money again.
Kavita, Ella always sounds like such a sweetheart







I'm so glad the road trip went well.
Michelle, I like Noah Sage, but Sage would be sweet too. My favourite and only uncle is always referred to by his middle name, and if this bean is a boy then he'll be named after my uncle, but called by his middle name.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Hiya mamas!

It is a beautiful day here and I am feeling strangely bubbly and happy today. Part of that is that I did some poking around last night and the girl bits seem to be in better shape than I thought. I was even able to get my new Diva cup working, which is awesome. I guess tampons are just too scratchy.







There's still some weirdness going on but I'm pretty sure now that conception would be a possibility at least







.

I'm also happy because some friends of mine who I haven't seen in a while - they've been in Toronto and only recently got back - are getting married on the solstice and then having a party on Saturday so I'm very happy they're getting married and excited to see them on Saturday, especially since they're on the peninsula and since we're going up there anyway I can justify the gas and maybe stop by some farms too.

And I'm wearing my favourite purple shirt, and the coffee in the office this morning is spectacular.

And also, thanks to her current bath aversion (the only way we can get her in the tub is if one of us is in there with her, and last night Daddy volunteered) Rowan now knows how to say "penis" and she says it very clearly. DH is terrified she'll decide to run around yelling "penis" at his parents' place, and just the thought of that is making me giggle. Am I bad?


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
And also, thanks to her current bath aversion (the only way we can get her in the tub is if one of us is in there with her, and last night Daddy volunteered) Rowan now knows how to say "penis" and she says it very clearly. DH is terrified she'll decide to run around yelling "penis" at his parents' place, and just the thought of that is making me giggle. Am I bad?









My DH would probably die. Not even with the yelling it at the parents' house, just knowing the word at all! I'm working on him . . . but this is one area where he is not as much of a "sensitive new-age guy"! Given that he is from a country where it is still scandalous for people to kiss in the movies or in public, I think he does pretty well. (You may have heard the furor over Richard Gere being charged with indecency for kissing a female film star--I think he actually only sort of put his arm around her and kissed her on the cheek.) But still he (DH) is visibly pained when I am asking her happily, "Where's your vagina? Where's your yoni? Yes, that's right! There it is!!" I think if she said penis it would finish him off!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I didn't know Richard Gere was charged with indecency- was that for kissing Shilpa Shetty? (aka the woman who called England on their institutionalised national racism)
Spughy, I find a mooncup far easier to insert than tampons (I still have some residual hymen left, even after three kids. Doesn't cause any hassle generally other than with tampax)


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

Oh, Spughy, I'm so glad that you are having a nice day! It sounds lovely, all those little details and the upcoming trip and thank goodness that things in your lady parts are gonna be okay! And how funny about Rowan saying penis!! I didn't realize she had a hard time with the bath.

Finley is still TRAUMATIZED by it, screams worse than when he's had his blood drawn, and it's been this way since he was 10 months. At this point, we just do sponge baths and then occassionally (maybe once a week), wash his hair, which is awful, and he cries, but we go as fast as possible. I wish I knew what to do. He is generally terrified of water, and we are working on exposing him to more water...we've been to the pool and he won't go near it, but he likes watching us swim. We bought a blow up pool for the yard and he plays around it and sometimes reaches in and touches it, but won't think about getting in. Anyone else? Any ideas of how to help him further? And when he splashes himself a lot, he cries and says "wet". It's so peculiar to me that he hates it...I can't think of anything we have done to make him hate it so much, except when he was younger getting water in his face a bit when we didn't pour it perfectly. It feels like it is a fear/dislike that is just in him. Anyone else's babes have certain aversions or fears?

Oh, and Kavita, how lovely that your daughter travelled so well in the car! I hope your time with your sister is nice, and I hope it helps her too.

Helen, I hope you're able to get a scan to rest your mind (although it sounds like you're handling it amaziningly well...I'd be freaking out not seeing/hearing/knowing the heartbeat) and I hope that bubbling sensation is the first sign of movement.

I have loved the zen talk, too (from a while ago), and think about it daily...trying to let go of the need to get things done and be present. It can definitely be a challenge, but I do try. I'm very lucky to have DH around (though we have financial stress at the moment), but I couldn't function without little breathers here and there.

Amy, I couldn't watch the videos last night, but will try again tonight. I can't believe how verbal little Brynn is. How fitting, since you study language yourself!

Michelle, I love Sage. I think it's no problem to change, especially since you have been calling him Noah Sage.

HoneyTree, I feel the exact same way about wanting to move all the time, and yet also wanting to get to know a place. Sometimes I worry what is wrong with me, that I'm always wanting to move, though I hope it is not in search for more happiness or something. I truly love experiencing different places, and I do think part of me wants to find some perfect location that is a "home". New York is definitely one of them, but not the only. I fantasize about living in a rural setting one day, and also in Europe. As for LA, it's definitely not a match for my soul, in terms of home, but it is home for now, since my boys are here. It definitely feels like a temporary pit stop in this crazy land to make some progress with our careers, and then be able to move on.

My MIL is here today. She tends to drive me crazy, but I'm trying to be peaceful and loving and not let her get to me. What is it about In laws that can just be maddening??

Sorry I've been such a sporatic poster lately...we are definitely still getting set up here.

And now I'm off to get a few things accomplished while my little boy sleeps.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Yay! DH is finally home. I feel that it is my duty to warn all of you against flying Northwest Air--ever. He was delayed on three different flights for a total of 48 hours, missing two days of work because of it. And at the last stop, in Memphis, the airport hotel told him that they get Northwest passengers laid over all the time. Ridiculous.

But, he was at a national food co-op conference, and so came home with gobs and gobs of free gifts and samples: organic chocolate, bags and bags of loose organic tea, canvas sacks, coffee mugs, yummy bath products, essential oils... ahhh! Made it _almost_ worth not having him for the week! But I'd forgotten how damn good looking he is, and how his whole world is our little boy, and how much I love what his energy adds to our house. Sometimes a little break is nice as it reminds you what being in love is all about.









Spughy, glad the cup worked. I am getting to be better friends with my cup these days. For a while, it was all anger and frustration, but since practicing FAM and being more acquainted with my cervix, I like the cup much better.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

barcelona - I remember you posting about Finley's bath aversion a while back. Rowan's is really recent, like just in the last two weeks she's been refusing to get in the tub. We don't have any idea why - DH thinks it's a teething thing but I'm dubious. I think she might have had a bad experience one time (like a bit of soap in her eye maybe?) and didn't make a huge fuss about it at the time but somehow it stuck in her head. She did fall down in the tub when DH was away, but she didn't seem that traumatized by it at the time... I don't know. Anyway, we're dealing with it by making bathtime as fun and non-traumatic as possible for her, only washing her hair if it REALLY needs it, and having one of us in the tub as well. I just hope this is just a phase that passes.

ETA: it's definitely NOT a water aversion. She is still a huge fan of the dog's water bowl.









She has another weird aversion, though, to bugs. She reacts quite oddly to them, pointing them out in an almost agitated fashion, and if a bug flies into the car when we're driving we have to pull over and remove it because she totally freaks out. The other day I picked up her hat off the ground and there was a big furry caterpillar on it and I tried to show it to her and she wasn't going anywhere NEAR it. This is weird because neither DH nor I have any bug issues at all. I don't know where she's picking it up from.

Teresa - SO jealous of the samples! Wow that sounds fabulous! That's WAY more exciting than the computer algorithms conferences my DH goes to.







. What kind of cup do you use? I have to say I am reeeally liking the Diva cup so far. Once I got the insertion figured out it's been no problem and it works great.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Hey ladies...
Sorry this is kinda hit and run, but I've been keeping up, I promise!

Just wanted to add my 2 cents on Noah Sage being called Sage... I think it'd be lovely and I really like Sage better. My sister is Kimberly Paige, but has been called Paige since her first day on Earth. I don't think it's too late and will vow, should you decide to go for it, to call him Sage from here on!









A few of you have noted that it's so nice that Isa is sleeping in a crib now. It it would be.... if she actually were. We've tried for a few days(naps) and nights now, and she's only stayed in there once. And she fell asleep crying with me patting her.







Sooooo.... should we stick it out and see if she will get used to it? Or shall we scrap the whole thing and just let her stay on the twin mattress... ideas? **Amy** did Brynn change her mind at all or did she go for it pretty well?

Oh, and I just wanted to add that in my life these things are happy:

I'm feeling sexy again and bought some naughty undies. I LOVE THEM.
I've been drinking fresh juice from my juicer, and therefore looking and feeling great.
Isa sleeps through the night most nights now.
I am developing a sense of self again FINALLY.
I've been painting, drawing, or some kind of craft-doing every day.
I think we're unofficially trying to have another baby. Did I mention that we're actually having sex again?








My hair has finally grown from the "I just shaved my head a few months ago" haircut into a haircut that received a compliment from a stranger.







:
So yay for all of that. Hope all is well with you guys!

LO
VE
j


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

spiritmomma said:


> I'm feeling sexy again and bought some naughty undies. I LOVE THEM.
> I've been drinking fresh juice from my juicer, and therefore looking and feeling great.
> Isa sleeps through the night most nights now.
> I am developing a sense of self again FINALLY.
> ...


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneyTree* 

Spughy, I use the Diva cup, too. For me, it was the retrieval that was the hardest, and sometimes scariest, part. It's amazing how little I understood my own anatomy for so many years. But I still use a Lunapad backup, because my cup doesn't prevent leakage.

I use a Diva cup too, but lately it hasn't been working out so well--my last cycle was early and heavier than any previous one ever, and the darn thing just leaked constantly to the point where I just gave up on it for the time being.

I second the "distance makes the heart grow fonder" concept--I've really wanted to spend some time with DH the last week or so (that being a euphemism of course) but it hasn't worked out for one reason or another. Him being asleep too early and having to get up at the crack of dawn, Ella being awake too late or waking up at weird times, and then us leaving. I actually left later for Michigan on Saturday because he had to go into work in the morning and i was hoping he would come home and we could park the child in the jumperoo in front of a signing time video for a few moments and sneak into another room . . . however, this plan was foiled because although he did arrive before I left, the jumperoo which is my only baby containing device, was not set up, the movers had taken the darn thing apart and put the pieces in different places in the garage. When I asked DH if he could put it together he informed me that he didn't know where the other pieces were and he couldn't set it up. Of course, right before I was leaving I went in the garage looking for the tray to the stroller and there were the pieces to the jumperoo not very far away!







: I don't know if it was the familiarity of the drive from Cincinnati to Detroit or just the excitement of a road trip (I used to make that trip a lot after high school/in college, a much more sexy period of my life and one I realized with a shock was almost two decades ago!!) but I felt very romantic and sexy for the first five hours of the trip! It didn't do me much actual good because DH was still in Kentucky, but it was nice to have a schmoopy cell phone conversation with him on the road and feel all like a teenager in love for moment!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Now that I'm off school for the summer, but it's been nuts.

I haven't had a chance to read up on stuff







:

Sunday was Awesome! We had tickets to the Dodgers/Angels game for Father's day. We rode the metrolink train out to LA and had a great time. On the way home though we hit a snag when we got to the train station in time to catch the last train only to find it was delayed up to 2 hours...and it could come at any time. So we sat next to the tracks for an hour and a half. It was hard to be upset about waiting because the reason we were waiting was because earlier that day a train hit a car and put everything behind. There were fatalities and my heart breaks with the story. We finally got home but it was LATE.

Yesterday Jacob got really sick. I kept thinking he was going to get better. He's been croupy and sniffly for a few days but it seemed mild. It hit HARD yesterday and today we took him into the ped. She checked him out and agreed we were doing everything we could and to just keep it up but it stinks that we just have to let it be. She thinks he has allergies but can't do any testing and we can't really treat it







So we just have to keep doing what we are doing. It's good to know that he's not *sick* but it's still rough hearing him croupy and sniffly.

Jacob has had a signing explosion. We have the 2 baby Signing Time videos and he now knows all the words from them as well as how to ask to watch it. He comes up and says *baby baby* signing it and then twirls his hands around as he *signs* signing time. It's amazing!!

We are packing and preparing for our trip. We are planning on leaving Friday night and I can hardly believe all I have to do before we go. We'll be gone until July 7th. I'm anxiously excited.

I have a doctor's appointment in the morning that I'm scared to death about so if you believe in prayer please keep me in your prayers. There's a small bump/lump on my breast. I thought it was just a clogged pore but since it's been there for almost 2 months now...I need to get it checked. I'm scared out of my mind. I don't even know if they will have answers for me tomorrow or if it's a thing I'll have to wait and find out.

So that's our update in a nutshell.


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

kaspirant,
You will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow morning...Do keep us posted. And have a wonderful trip! (I hope you have the peace of mind of knowing it's nothing by the time you go....), and I can't wait to hang out when you return! Hugs, mama. And feel better, Jacob!

Spughy, that's funny about Rowan's bug aversion. Isn't it so interesting to see their personalities, aversions, and preferences coming out? I'm so intrigued by the whole nature vs. nurture thing, always wondering how much of it is because of something we've done or not done, or just, him.

spiritmomma, how fabulous! Sounds like there's some seriously good things going on for you, and I'm thrilled that you are feeling more in touch with yourself, identity, now. I've also recently bought some sexy underwear, and it's great! And I've been feeling sexy lately, too...maybe it's summer, feeling sun-kissed, wearing dresses, feeling feminine. And speaking of hair, I'm growing mine out, and it's in a sort of frustrating phase of in between a short and long style. For the first time this week, though, I can pull it up, (though with lots of pins), but it's still exciting to be able to do that and have that look.

oh, and spiritmomma...about the crib vs. twin mattress...is there any sort of problem with the twin mattress? If not, I'd say just stay with it, and no pressure with the crib, and maybe later she'll be ready for it/interested in it. That's my 2 cents.

Does anyone here still nurse their babes to sleep and co-sleep? Hearing so much about so many babes who sleep in their own spaces (which is great, no judgement at all!), I just wonder if anyone else, besides us, is still nursing to sleep and co-sleeping all night. One happy development for us is that Finley almost always sleeps through the night, so I'm much more rested and comfy.

Random Question for you ladies: does anyone do natural family planning? Do you recommend it/have books to rec/think it's a good idea?
I'm on the mini-pill but really want to stop putting hormones in my body. I'm not interested in an IUD...

And as for these cups, what are they? I'm still learning so much about so much. Sounds interesting. I still haven't gotten my period back, so I don't need to worry about it yet, but it might be something to look into for when it does come back.

Hope everyone's having a lovely start to the day...for now, I'm off to sleep!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Spiritmomma, have fun!








Barcelona, we used NFP before having Skye, and we'll use it again. The one caveat I have is that if you know you want more children and you're feeling horny, it's really tempting to have an intentional whoopsie and start TTC 24 hours before ovulation....







: no personal experience at all, of course.
Kavita, if your diva cup is leaking, I know people who've found that mooncups work better for heavy periods.
kaspirant, crossing fingers for you. I know you already know that boobs go weird and strange and knobbly and lumpy whilst breastfeeding, so your odds of it being nothing are pretty good.
Spughy, Skye goes through phases of bath aversion- right now, she's in the "nobody can EVER EVER have a bath NEVER without me" phase.
She's still doing good, is currently sitting typing on another computer keyboard wearing a fairy skirt and talking into an imaginary phone. I love her, she's brilliant


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Man we are a chatty bunch these days! Brynn is off "watering" the plants with an empty watering can, so I might have a couple of minutes.

Spiritmomma, as far as the crib, she was a bit freaked out the first night, so I just picked her up every time she asked to get out and tried not to make a big deal out of it. She's totally adjusted though, and has even asked maybe 3-4 times to get into the crib when she's tired. She hasn't fallen asleep that way yet, but maybe someday she will!







And that is wonderful that you are feeling so good! I still swing back and forth between being totally mortified by how fat I still feel, and just saying what the hell and not caring. But as opposed to how Barcelona's feeling, wearing skimpy summer clothes actually makes me even less comfortable with how I look. Maybe if I had some clothes that actually FIT me properly or were fun to wear, I'd feel differently. *sigh* Oh well.

Barcelona, yes, we totally nurse to sleep still. Besides being in the carseat, that's pretty much the only way I can get Brynn to fall asleep. I've been gently trying to get her to fall asleep on her own in the crib, but no so much luck there. It sure would be nice if she would go to sleep ANY other way, though.

Oh, and Barcelona, if you are thinking of doing NFP, you really should read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is SO AMAZING. I learned more about my body in one book than I ever did from school or any of my doctors. I think every woman should read it!!

Spughy, your post made me smile. You are so cute.







: You must be euphoric about being able to leave your job in a few weeks! I'm glad you had such a nice day yesterday.

Alicia, I am thinking of you this morning and hope you get an All Clear from the doctor ASAP. I know that must be really scary. Also thinking of Jacob and hoping he's feeling well.









So...I'm pretty PMS-y the past couple of days and am having a hard time not being annoyed by everything. Well mostly with mainstream parenting, I guess. I picked up this copy of a new magazine called Toddler at the doctor's office the other day, and it's your usual BS. And everywhere I go, people are "GOOD JOB"ing their kids for inhaling and exhaling, and blinking their eyes. I want to carry copies of Unconditional Parenting around with me to give out to people. If I were a millionaire, I probably would. Also, Brynn's been picking up on everyone saying it everywhere, so she's been saying it to herself when she does something note-worthy, like walking up the stairs by herself. It's really bugging me!!!! She's really repeating a lot of commonly-used phrases, and has been saying, "Isn't it cool?", which I don't even know where she got that. And the one that really annoys me is something she picked up from a girl we interviewed to babysit (but didn't hire): "No WAY!" This girl spent two hours with us a few weeks ago, and probably said it 20 times, so of course Brynn now says it and then starts laughing and says, "That's what Crystal says!" Gah.









OK, she's having a total meltdown right now because I'm not paying attention to her so I guess I'd better go.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Amy, it could be worse. She could be saying "innit" at the end of every sentence, like someone I know.
Bean has a heartbeat







I still hate my local hospital, even the private wing...


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

Spughy - having another kid actually fixed a bunch of my vaginal issues. I had deep labial tears on both sides though so I don't know how that compares. After having Joseph I was talking about it with dh and he agreed that after I had A things were a mess, but after Joseph not a problem. I'm probably over simplifying it, but I attribute most of the difference to not have an epidural with Joseph. Not being able to feel what's going on can't be helpful! I've probably bugged more then a few pg ladies by telling them my epidural experience.

barcelona - I think Joseph has fallen asleep on his own a few times, but it's rare. Our normal is to lay down in bed and watch the history channel until he falls asleep. He does have a toddler bed at the foot of our bed that he usually gets moved to after he is asleep. He has never once spent the entire night there, but he seems to enjoy having his own space to stretch out in. He also likes to run in there and play with his toys on his bed when sister is getting in his face too much.

As for me I'm dealing with some insane jealousy of a friend's dd as she just found out she is pg. It's actually a friend of dh's and the dd is only a year or so younger then me, but gah the green eyed monster is here for a visit. Certainly does not help that I am still weak getting over a m/c that I knew from the time I knew I was pg wasn't going to make it. That makes it easier for me emotionally, but man I must be getting old or something!

I'm also thinking about going to the beach in the morning to watch the sun rise over the Atlantic for the solstice. Problem with that is me actually managing to get my butt out of bed 20 minute to a half hour before we needed to get to the beach. Maybe that is part of the reason I like the winter solstice better. I can sleep in much later and still make the sun rise


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Quick reply, as Woody's in the bathroom playing with the toilet:

Yes, yes, yes, LOVE the TCOYF book. And second the notion that NFP/FAM requires amazing will power if you see more kiddles in your future--being able to pinpoint the "go" days makes one drunk with possibilities!

Woody still nurses all the time. At least six times a day, probably more. Almost always nurses to sleep. And we still cosleep exclusively with no plans for a crib--we're hoping to go right to his own bed when he's ready.

Link for Diva Cup

Link for Moon Cup

Link for Keeper

Kristina, your solstice plans sound lovely!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Adding to Honeytree's post, the fact that all of the above are available from Frontier







Regular co-ops down in TP.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

I enjoy my diva cup. I really do.
There's something wonderful about not throwing or flushing a bunch of bloody plastic or cotton away. I too use luna pads as back up or first day/ spotting days. Love 'em!
Thinking about my moon cycle, I just realized that all my moon cycle undies just got tossed for my new sexy undies! I hope I can keep 'em clean! Does anyone else have 2 sets of undies: looks good undies and moon cycle undies?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Bean has a heartbeat









YAY Helen!!!!!!!!!!







:


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Augh! I hate it when my MDC subscription updates stop







:

Calling kids by middle names: Keagan's first name is KeaganRae but we call him by both. We have never used his middle name other than on his birth certificate. It is his paternal grandfather's first name. G'pa died 5 months before Keagan was born and now, 2 years later it is still really hard for the family. Anyway, I see nothing wrong with calling a child by their middle name (especially if you have been using it interchangably anyway).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
Hiya mamas!

It is a beautiful day here and I am feeling strangely bubbly and happy today.

And also, thanks to her current bath aversion (the only way we can get her in the tub is if one of us is in there with her, and last night Daddy volunteered) Rowan now knows how to say "penis" and she says it very clearly. DH is terrified she'll decide to run around yelling "penis" at his parents' place, and just the thought of that is making me giggle. Am I bad?









Sarah- I'm glad you are feeling better about things in general as well as things "Down there". And I was just







about the "penis" thing! Thanks for the laugh









Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaspirant* 
I have a doctor's appointment in the morning that I'm scared to death about so if you believe in prayer please keep me in your prayers. There's a small bump/lump on my breast. I thought it was just a clogged pore but since it's been there for almost 2 months now...I need to get it checked. I'm scared out of my mind. I don't even know if they will have answers for me tomorrow or if it's a thing I'll have to wait and find out.

thinking of you. . .

Quote:


Originally Posted by *barcelona* 
Does anyone here still nurse their babes to sleep and co-sleep? Hearing so much about so many babes who sleep in their own spaces (which is great, no judgement at all!), I just wonder if anyone else, besides us, is still nursing to sleep and co-sleeping all night. One happy development for us is that Finley almost always sleeps through the night, so I'm much more rested and comfy.

Random Question for you ladies: does anyone do natural family planning? Do you recommend it/have books to rec/think it's a good idea?
I'm on the mini-pill but really want to stop putting hormones in my body. I'm not interested in an IUD...

Keagan still nurses to sleep most nights and yup, we still co-sleep. Nothin' like bein' awakened by a swift kick to the head, huh?







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Bean has a heartbeat







I still hate my local hospital, even the private wing...









:







: and here is a hope that you won't have much cause to go back to the hospital


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kristina.
I know what you mean about the jealousy of other people's pregnancy- a loss is always going to be pretty hard, more so once you actually have children and realise what it is you're missing. Take care of yourself and gentle healing to you.
If I can make it out of bed in time, I'm going to the ceremony at Avebury tomorrow morning for the solstice. I've spent a lot of time down there over the last months, and it would be interesting to celebrate with others (druids, mostly.)


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
If I can make it out of bed in time, I'm going to the ceremony at Avebury tomorrow morning for the solstice. I've spent a lot of time down there over the last months, and it would be interesting to celebrate with others (druids, mostly.)

That would be so cool. I don't have any plans, but I am usually up walking at sunrise these days, so maybe I'll just...I don't know, do a little prayer or something? I love watching the sun rise.

Helen, HOORAY for the heartbeat!!! I remember so vividly the first time I heard Brynn's heartbeat. It was so amazing and magical.


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
If I can make it out of bed in time, I'm going to the ceremony at Avebury tomorrow morning for the solstice. I've spent a lot of time down there over the last months, and it would be interesting to celebrate with others (druids, mostly.)









If I'm leaning towards any path it's druidic. I would love to get to a sunrise at any of the circles and as Stonehenge is such a madhouse I don't think it's something I could enjoy. That means one of the lesser known places would be more where I would be wanting to go







*_must remember I'm planning to go to the beach (not cocoa beach it's too crowded) many people would love to go to the beach_* Bah it's not working I'd trade the beach in a heartbeat.

Thanks for the hugs. I don't often talk about any of the losses I've had, but the jealousy is getting to me this time. It doesn't help that I've agreed to help her sort through some of the state medical care stuff and I'm hoping to slip in links here and to Dr. Sears. Both the parents grew up beach bums in FL and are veg so I have hopes that non mainstream parenting will go over well.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Yay heartbeat! That's great, Helen.









Yeah I'm totally enjoying my Diva cup. I haven't switched over to cloth pads yet but I think I'll order a few to try them out. I contemplated sewing them myself but I honestly don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. I do use "natural" all-biodegradable pads because the regular drug store brands are now all impregnated with this nasty, horrible "odor elimination" stuff that smells like a cross between lemon balm and kitty litter (neither scent is one I enjoy). Spiritmomma, I ONLY have moon cycle undies







. I really need to get some good ones, my undie collection is very sad-looking.

Amy, I hear you on the "good job" for breathing thing. My neighbours do this with Rowan a bit, I haven't said anything because I don't think it affects her much. She kind of ignores them. I think if it's not something YOU do, it'll remain an oddity for Brynn and she'll notice it as weird but it won't really sink in. I hope.









Barcelona - we still nurse to sleep most nights, although if I try to move bedtime up a tad she usually doesn't fall asleep nursing. Then she wants to "make nest!" which means we both go lie down in the bed, Rowan snuggles into the covers, gets up, flops around, chatters for a bit, flops on top of me, flops off me, tosses around, organizes the covers again, asks to nurse again, pops off after 5 seconds, wriggles off my lap, organizes the covers again, wants her back scratched, flops around some more, talks about the dog, and eventually falls asleep. Frankly, I prefer nursing, especially when *I'm* tired. Rowan starts the night in her crib but when she wakes up she gets into bed with DH. I am a crappy cosleeper even with another adult, never mind a wriggly baby, so I sleep on the couch. It works for us.

ETA: Solstice celebrations... I dunno if the dawn thing is going to happen, but I'm certainly going to celebrate in my own way, probably with a morning communion with my balcony plants (and any squirrels and pigeons that want to join me), wearing my favourite pretty clothes to work, and cooking a fully local meal for dinner. I *could* go down to the beach to watch the sunrise but it'd involve getting up at... lemme check... oh, before 5 am... yeah not gonna happen. Damn northern latitudes. Also, the weather forecast is for rain in the morning anyway.

Where I grew up we celebrated the solstice by staying up all night and verifying that no, it really *didn't* ever get dark. That was fun. But probably not anymore.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Quote:

Originally Posted by flapjack :
Bean has a heartbeat
yay for a heartbeat!!!
How very exciting!!! I just realized i forgot to mention that before. YAY HELEN!

Quote:

Jacob has had a signing explosion. We have the 2 baby Signing Time videos and he now knows all the words from them as well as how to ask to watch it. He comes up and says *baby baby* signing it and then twirls his hands around as he *signs* signing time. It's amazing!!
I love this... Isa did the exact same thing. Now she signs "Alex, Leah?" and points at my laptop. I'm glad Jacob is enjoying them. I can't say enough good things about Signing Time. Really.

As far as the solstice goes, I had planned a personal ceremony, but instead decided to prolong it and do this purification ritual every full moon for a year. It will be my time to connect with my source and spend some time within. Joshua and my sister are loving me enough to come over and spend some time with Isa so that I can just be. I gave my sister the dates for all the full moons for this year so she was sure to be off work.

I realize I am seeking something. I just wish I knew what I was seeking so I could find it more easily!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

jim just called from work. he got to the 4th interview. if he makes it past this one the job is his. squeee!!!!!!!!


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

DiD: Hooray! I'm sure your family is on pins and needles waiting for news... How exciting! When will you guys know?


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Good grief what kind of job requires 4 interviews!?!?! That's not an interview process, that's an endurance test!

I SO hope he gets it!! Keeping my fingers & toes crossed for ya!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

YAAAAAYYYYY DID!!!! Crossing my fingers, toes, and everything else for you and your DH!

and YAAAAAYYYY Helen!!!!! What a beautiful and reassuring moment to hear the heartbeat of your little bean!

Thanks for all the help and info on NFP and the diva cups








I've got some research and reading to do.

And always good to hear we're not alone with the nursing to sleep...not that I don't mind, but I was feeling like the one and only with all the talk of falling to sleep in other ways and cribs and toddler beds. Thank goodness for his sleeping soundly through the night. I think my favorites are the morning, when he wakes up. He usually kisses me to wake me up, and will lie down next to me, put his face right there, and say "Hi." Being a very not-morning person, it makes it so easy and lovely to get up.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

no time to post...but I'll catch up again after pumpkin goes down tonight...

However, I needed to let everyone know that I'm all good and no problems









Nothing to have worried about!

Yay.


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

alicia...thanls for sharing, and thank goodness!!!!!!!!!!!! phew.
hope jacob is feeling better...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oh Alicia, I'm so glad








DiD, I hope that company is paying his expenses for interview- four interviews is ridiculous







Here's hoping they give him the job, and it turns out to be everything he dreams of.
I'm running on sleep deprivation. Steve's project for his uni course had to be in today, so he pulled an overnighter- came to bed for an hour and that was it, plus woke me up three or four times during the night. FIL was having a bad time with his knees, and Isaac is wheezy.







Must go sleep, just wanted to check in on kaspirant...


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Hi everyone. Today's the day Xeowyn's going in for his dental work under general anesthesia at the hospital. I barely slept a wink & when I did I dreampt about dentists! I'm soo nervous, & so freaked out. And at the same time I'm glad it's finally today so I can _finally_ just get it over with, get past it & not have it looming in the horizon like a big scary chainsaw weilding zombie of doom.

And on entirely different topic, DH put together my website that I'll have my handmade bibs & such for sale on. I'm gonna buy one of those packages where I can link my site in my signature later today. So far there's just a handful of bibs but I have soooo many nifty creative ideas in my head for unique kid clothes & toys & quilts.









So yeah, back to preparing for our trek to the hospital. I'll be the one sitting in the waiting room, alone, trying to act like People magazine is the most fascinating thing I've ever seen.

I hope you all have a fantastic Thursday!


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Kaspirant, good to know that it was nothing to worry about. *exhale*









Aubrey, I've been thinking about you. Hope all is well! Sorry you're so stressed out about Xeowyn's dental work. How's he doing with it? How do you prepare such a little person for such a thing? Keep us posted...

Well, folks, I think we're off to the park as soon as little miss sit on the potty for half an hour is done with her books! Hope everybody has a great Summer Solstice! Yay for SUMMER!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Man, we've had a crappy morning. Crappy!! Brynn is napping now (which, thank god, because she didn't nap at all yesterday, which made for a very long day)...but when she wakes up we're going to get the hell out of the house and enjoy the first day of summer (which is usually about the time I start counting down til Fall!).

I hate having days like this. Very un-Zen, I can tell you.
Mama PMS + teething, needy toddler =







:


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Amy:







s I know what you mean, mama. Yesterday was pretty bad for me, which means it wasn't good for Isa either.







But today is much better. Not perfect, but definitely better. So hang in there!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

I'm feeling better. We're both feeling better actually. Brynn took an early nap and then we went to the kids' gym for two hours of incredible bouncing fun - for both of us! I was in gymnastics as a kid, so it was so nostalgic for me to be back in a gym with beams, vaults, trampolines, etc. (plus they had TONS of stuff for little ones to climb up and slide down). Brynn had sooo much fun in the big foam pit - we jumped in together and tried to pounce on each other, and then had to climb our way out, like quick sand. It was awesome!

And I'm excited now because tomorrow's Friday, which means just two more sleeps til we get to meet up with Spiritmomma, Isa, SoulJourney and Noah Sage on Saturday! Woo woo! Hey Kavita, are you going to be back by then? Maybe you could come too, or drive through Indy on your way back down?

*Aubrey*, how did it go?


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
jim just called from work. he got to the 4th interview. if he makes it past this one the job is his. squeee!!!!!!!!

*hoping*

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
*Aubrey*, how did it go?

i was going to ask too. . .


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Aubrey. I know today is going to be so hard for you, but you're doing the best thing for him. Take time to look after yourself when the two of you get home.
Amy, the gym sounds fun, much better than the PMS.







to you too.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Thanks Helen.







It's amazing how just getting out of the house and not having to eat the same old stupid crap for lunch, and splurging on a cream soda, can make a difference!









Well, we're going to go stay at a hotel tonight because our water main has been broken since about 1:00 this afternoon and they are still working on it, and I need to like brush my teeth and stuff! But we got a 4-star hotel on Priceline for $50 bucks, so it's actually going to be enjoyable.







I'm not going to haul my computer down though, so I'll catch y'all later tomorrow. Peace out.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

No worries about expenses for the interview. It's at the place he currently works at, but it would be a huge promotion. I have no idea when we will find out but I am just on pins and needles waiting.
Does anyone else's toddler say no when they mean yes and no? I'm going crazy trying to figure out when he means yes and when he actually means no. Argh.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I don't ask yes or no questions, I don't normally like the answer I get







I give choices, generally with something to point at. (cake or biscuit. Banana or apple. Pink or blue, etc.) She sometimes says no and tells me what she wants instead, but generally this works for us.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Some things aren't choices though. Are you hungry? Yes or no. He always says no. But if he meant yes he'll go to his high chair and climb in.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Does anyone else's toddler say no when they mean yes and no? I'm going crazy trying to figure out when he means yes and when he actually means no. Argh.

This is Isa's specialty. It's called CONFUSION! We've been able to figure out what she ACTUALLY wants by following cues (like walking to her high chair after she's just turned food down...)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
I don't ask yes or no questions, I don't normally like the answer I get







I give choices, generally with something to point at. (cake or biscuit. Banana or apple. Pink or blue, etc.) She sometimes says no and tells me what she wants instead, but generally this works for us.

Yes or no questions seem to sometimes be the only way for she and I to communicate. After several frustrated attempts to derive her true answer, we too switch to Which one? and wait for the pointing...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Children sometimes refuse food???? Are you sure? None of mine have ever done that...


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Children sometimes refuse food???? Are you sure? None of mine have ever done that...

Yeah mine's not big on that either, but she does sometimes. Never fruit, meat or cheese, but sometimes she'll refuse bread or muffins or crackers. FWIW, we went through a confusion phase where she'd get mixed up with "yeah" and "na" and "no" and it was hard to tell what she meant. That ended a couple weeks ago, I guess... I didn't really notice. But now she says "yes" or "yeah" and "no" appropriately. If she's not sure, she says "ummmm....." which is awfully cute.

I had a nice evening last night. I cooked a nearly 100% local dinner (roast pastured chicken, organic fingerling potatoes and organic russian kale) and it was deeeelicious. After the bug went to sleep, I bottled my homemade mead, which is AWESOME! and took it next door to share with the neighbours. We enjoyed it, had a nice chat, and then I came home and lit my beautiful beeswax bowl-candle and just stared at it for a while. Then I went to sleep. This is a stark contrast to solstices in years past which involved staying up all night and partying, but I enjoyed it.


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## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
Does anyone else's toddler say no when they mean yes and no? I'm going crazy trying to figure out when he means yes and when he actually means no. Argh.

keagan just figured out how to say "yes" a couple of days ago but when he says it, it becomes very drawn out and sounds like a question: "yeeeeesssss?"

oh, and he will also refuse food at times. i don't worry about it. somedays i swear he eats as much as i do


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Lovely solstice, spughy







I didn't make it down to Avebury in the end, but I did take the dog down to the clearing in the scruffy wee woods off the scruffy wee field down the road: there's a big beautiful old chestnut tree with a lot of energy that the children climb on and play in, with tyre swings over a stream that always feels good to visit. A powerful place. I took a few moments to sit and think, and enjoy.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Here's a cute story for you guys









DH just IM'd me... you know how I was telling you about Rowan's "relationship" with her bouncy ball? She was rolling around on it, enjoying it this morning... and fell asleep. MIL freaked out when she heard her head hit the ground (she must have been on the lino in the kitchen). Rowan just kept sleeping.








So cute!!!


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 

And I'm excited now because tomorrow's Friday, which means just two more sleeps til we get to meet up with Spiritmomma, Isa, SoulJourney and Noah Sage on Saturday! Woo woo! Hey Kavita, are you going to be back by then? Maybe you could come too, or drive through Indy on your way back down?


Hey, no fair making plans without me!!! What time is this meet-up happenning? Strangely enough I have been very strongly considering driving through Indy on Saturday and maybe even staying the night--one of DH's old friends/wife who live in Indy are having a birthday party for their kid on Sunday, and they invited us to come Sat. and stay over. DH can't stay over because we don't have anyone to dog-sit but I considered just veering a little west and stopping there and meeting up with DH on Sunday for the party, rather than just driving straight back to L'ville on Sat and then driving up to Indy again Sunday. But I think I'll be there too late--I have to accompany my sister to an appointment tomorrow at 11 am, pack up all our crap, at this point I'll probably need to nap first too before leaving because it's getting late and I'm still up. I may just go straight home and then go to Indy with DH for the party on Sunday, or skip the party and he'll go without me. Anyway, I'll try to check back tomorrow to see what's shaking, just in case.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. It has been a really difficult and long and tiring day, but I also feel like I've broken through in some way with some family situations. But it was still really grueling practically and emotionally difficult, and it taking me a bit to process the whole thing, so I've been staying up foolishly to talk to DH on the phone, think, and then get online a bit for relaxation. Thinking about everyone and wondering about Jim's job, Xeowyn's teeth, Spughy's active mind, bouncy girl and pink dilemnas, , Amy's water main break (shoot, you coulda stayed at our house!), solstice celebrations near and far, relief that alicia is fine (and off on vacation now?). Virtual hugs to one and all!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Hi guys, just waded through the last few pages









Helen, I'm so happy for you









Alicia- good news!! I'm relieved for you. I'm sorry Jacob has been so sick- breathing problems are so scary.

Kristina-







What a good friend you are to help this woman even though it's been tough for you.

DiD- any more news on the job???????????????

Aubrey- thinking of all of you. I truly hope Xeowyn's procedure went well and is recovering with no problems.

Spughy- your local meal sounds delish








And I'm not sure if I congratulated you on your soon to be SAHM status!! I know how exciting that is to look forward to!

Whoever was asking about NFP- I third or fourth the rec. for TCOYF- amazing book- I read it initially to get pg after being on the pill for 8+ yrs and after actually learning how my body works, never turned back to artificial BC again. Very enlightening, and my only regret is that I didn't read it sooner!

Amy- enjoy your hotel night!

All right, gotta go-


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Well Mamas, we had an awesome MamaCon up in Indy yesterday. You can read all about it if you like!

I am so happy that we got to spend time with Spiritmomma, Isa (and Isa's Papa), SoulJourney, and Noah Sage. I just thoroughly enjoyed the entire day with them! I did have to restrain myself from asking Spiritmomma if she was wearing sexy undies though.









They both surprised me a little bit though; SoulJourney is one *hard-core* outdoorsy Mama (and has the muscles to prove it!), and Spiritmomma is just adorably bubbly and animated. Things you can't really get in typed messages, ya know?

It was really kind of amazing to get to spend time with them, and especially with the babes. The blog that SoulJourney keeps of Noah Sage is so true to who he is in person (he is beautiful, and intense) that what was actually most surprising was seeing him break into a big smile, or have a big old smooch-fest with his Mama while we were eating lunch! He's amazing.

Isa was even more beautiful in person that in photos I've seen of her, and has a silly side that kept us entertained at lunch. She is cuddly and gentle, and has a little twinkle in her eye when she smiles.







: It was beautiful to see Isa and her family interact - there is so much love there. I just wish that Isa had held out on her nap so that she could have come on the hike with us, but I know that you can't say no to sleep sometimes!

I posted a few pics on the blog, and took many more of Noah Sage that I will send to SoulJourney, so that she can decide which ones to post.

Big hugs to everyone else this morning. Today is cycle day 1 for me, so I am feeling really horrible. I'm going to go lay back down.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

That sounds wonderful, Amy (and Michelle and Jaymi.) Go rest up though, Amy, you've had a busy week


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Our solstice was quietly observed, too. Woody and I baked biscuits with pictures of suns stamped in the top (and a few wee thumbprints, too) and then we had a big salad of local and our-garden produce and went for a family walk in the evening.

Amy, what great pictures. It looks like y'all had a lot of fun, and the babies, too!!

I've been visiting my mom and sisters in Orlando this past weekend, and Woody has been loving swimming every day. He's a pretty cautious guy, so he's not jumping in or anything, but he'll sit on the steps with the water up to his neck, stick his face in and blow bubbles, ask for balls and toys to splash with and throw around, and even ask to be "motor boated" around the shallow end. (Is there another word for that, when you hold a kid under the arms and kind of carry/push them through the water making blub-blub sounds?) Swimming was such a huge part of my childhood; I'm so glad he likes it as much as he does. Let me add, though, that he has adamently REFUSED a bath the whole time we've been here!

And my friend who lives down here, to whom I introduced TCOYF a few months ago, brought her charts for me to see! It was so funny. It's so wonderful to be able to talk openly about sex and fertility in a way that's natural and not encumbered by weird taboos. And though my mom and sister couldn't contribute, they were sitting by as we were talking about what fertile-quality cervical fluid feels like coming out, the "hot flash" that sometimes accompanies hormonal shifts, how a cervix feels to the touch, etc. I kept thinking, THIS is the power of information. THIS is the conversation that every teenage girl should be able to have with some woman she knows and trusts!


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Awww... Thanks for all the gushy Love, Amy! We did have a grand time didn't we? A little rain, a little pizza, and a lotta LOVE!







: Your blog helped me relive the day and made me smile... Thanks!

and just so you know, my panties are always sexy these days... I threw all my non-sexy undies away!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Oh that's right! I remember you said that.









I think today is Awaken's birthday....so:








: _*Happy Birthday Mary!!!!*_







:


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Happy birthday, Mary!


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## SoulJourney (Sep 26, 2005)

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARY!!!*









Quick post...gotta go take care of two babes instead of one.







: We had the BEST day on Saturday!!! Thanks so much to Amy's family for coming up to play with us! I don't know what kind of fairy dust you brought with you but Noah has NEVER been that smoochy!!! He was definitely putting on a show for y'all because I received more smooches from him at lunch that day than I have collectively in the past six months, at least!







And thanks for the kind words, Amy!







: I have been feeling like my muscles have all vanished these days so that was an ego boost!

Ok...I swear I'll write more later but I have to run! I'm also dog/house sitting this week and I honestly don't think I ever, EVER want another dog in my life!!! At least not a puppy...UGH.


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

Awaken, Happy Birthday!









Good morning everybody. Happy Monday... or something like that.









Have I mentioned that I am on a juice fast type of diet? Just in case I haven't, I thought I should mention it. Because it's making me feel FANTASTIC! I am drinking fresh juice (usually some combination of carrot/ apple/ pear/ strawberry/ citrus and pineapple) for breakfast and lunch everyday and then eating a huge delicious meal for dinner (usually some kind of vegetable curry/ stir fry/ rice or noodley kind of thing.) I can't tell you how much more energy I have and how awesome my skin is looking too. I feel like I'm glowing most of the time. That's pretty cool. So if you have a juicer or have ever thought about getting one, DO IT! You'll be so glad you did. (And Isa LOVES the fresh juice too!)
BTW, if you do have a juicer that you absolutely love, what kind is it? My mom bought us the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer and it's great, but it doesn't seem to be extremely durably built... Most of the parts are plastic which worries me. We've only had it since Christmas and have only started using it regularly about a month ago so right now it's still "brand new". But how long will the plastic parts last? And are they leaching polymers and stuff into my juice???? Eeew. I'd LOVE to have one of these, but they are so expensive!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

You know, I've been really wanting to do a juice fast/cleanse, but I was worried about changing my diet so drastically while still bfing. But the way you are doing it seems like kind of a "hybrid" that might work for me. Do you mind if I ask if your supply/quality of milk has changed at all? And a bunch of people I know swear by the Champion juicer. I've never seen one, but they always refer to it by name.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Happy Birthday Awaken!!!

OOOH, I'm so jealous of the indy trip! I realized thought that it just wasn't going to work with the doctor's appointment being at 11 and Indianapolis being a 5 hour drive. I would have loved to see Rachel Coleman too! Sigh.

I ended up deciding to leave MI Sunday, because after the bad night's sleep and the doctor's appointment and lunch I felt like I needed a nap before I could drive 6 hours plus stops . . . so I decided to just try for a good night's sleep Saturday and then leave Sunday morning. I skipped the Indianapolis trip too, decided that I just wanted to get the heck home and avoid the whole kid's birthday party thing in the middle of a road trip thing. So, now we're home. I ended up leaving in the afternoon and got home at about 10:30 last night.

Oy, I have to get this house together, cleaned up, etc. Don't know when/how it's going to happen though, as DH is leaving Wednesday to go back to Tucson--he has to be there for work, and he'll also attend a colleague's wedding, and he'll get back here late Sunday night (hence missing the anniversary of our civil ceremony, which is July 1. Four years in a week!) So I'll be here by myself with the teething toddler and two slobbering beasts for several days. I was feeling a little bit of trepidation about this but feel even worse now that I found out from DH that our next door neighbors who we've gotten to know a bit and really like will also be out of town. Oh well, maybe it will give me a little bit of a nudge to get out and meet some people!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Happy Birthday Mary!!!!

So jealous of your meet-up, Amy, SoulJourney and Spiritmomma! That sounds like tons of fun.

We had a VERY busy weekend - market day, 2 parties and chocolate making lessons! It was a good time, mostly, although in the middle of the party yesterday afternoon I had to take Rowan home for a quick diaper change (the party was in the neighbour's back yard, just through our back fence) and obviously something she ate had upset her tummy because I laid her down on the bed, took off her poopy diaper, and then she threw up.







Fortunately the plastic frisbee she got at the market on Saturday was on the bed, and I managed to catch most of the barf in it, but a little still got onto the sheets and I only barely managed to get her turned over so some dribbled down into her ear... bleh. I cleaned her up as best I could, stripped the sheets off the bed and threw them in the wash, and went back to the party, which was by this time nearly over.

But aside from the barfing, it was a good weekend!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Oh, spughy, that stinks. I hope Rowan's feeling better soon.
Of course, you could always do that trip to the UK you were talking about- rain, mud and sludge at every opportunity, plus the chance for Rowan and Skye to puddle-jump together


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

I'm probably going to book my ticket today, Helen! It looks like we'll be in the UK for the first 3 weeks of September - with one of those weeks being a side-trip to Portugal. You'll be around then, I hope?







You'll have to send me recommendations for a good small hotel or B&B in Swindon (that's where you are right?) and we'll come down for a couple of days. My family is in Cambridgeshire and I'll be obligated to spend quite a bit of time with them, but there's only so much family dysfunction I can take. Rowan would LOVE to play in puddles with Skye. But isn't September usually nice?

And she's fine. She recovered instantly from her barfing, hopping around saying "barf! barf!". And then 2 hours later she was wolfing down pasta with cream sauce for dinner. Honestly, I think the culprit was the apple juice I let her have at the party - she's just not used to that kind of sugar high (no it wasn't sweetened juice, but still). I was prone to sugar-induced barfing as a child too, IIRC. So no more juice for my bunny. (We never have juice in the house so it's not a huge deal. Neither DH nor I ever drink it.)


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## Gunter (May 5, 2005)

Hey ladies,

I am the worst at keeping up with you all so i am still reading through. my ezra totally refuses food all the time. she is a very "picky eater" if i can say that. she's small, too...only about 19 pounds. anyone else have a small one. she was early and only 5 lbs at birth so she's right on for her own growth. it can just be so frustrating to hear all the time about how small she is and people ask if we feed her. and, she sometimes will eat a bunch but then go a while and eat very little. thankfully, she is full of energy and sentences to i am not worried about her brain!

we are leaving the USA on wed. to fly to perth, australia. i am doing a birth attendant school that starts there then heading to thailand for four months. we may be in indonesia for another six months but are not sure exactly which country yet. i am so thankful to have my ergo and that ez is still nursing a bunch. any tips for travel would be GREATLY appreciated. We have a 21 hour flight. we are bringing books and the signing times videos for the laptop. we leave NY at 9:30pm so maybe she'll sleep for a big part of the flight. we have a layover in singapore before heading on to perth.

i will try to be better about reading up on your posts. i will need some like minded mommy-ness for sure. who knows if i will have a good crunchy community over the next year at we travel?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Y'all: Brynn said her A-B-Cs today!!
















Gunter, it's so good to see you as always. I was just thinking that I want an ergo too; they are so perfect for this age.

Spughy, I'm glad Rowan's pukey-ness is over.







That's so exciting that you are going to visit Helen soon!

As for as the whole juice cleanse, I don't think I could manage to cut my calories by that much







but I do notice a huge difference in my energy based on how much water I drink. And it helps make milk too!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

From what I hear, Australia has a sizeable alternative minority, Gunter. There's a few Australian mamas on the HBUK list, so I would think you'll find someone to hang out with- and on a birth attendant course? Yeah, you'll be laughing. Have a fantastic time travelling though








I think Skye is weighing somewhere between 19 and 24lbs now- she's definitely still dainty, despite being an 8lber when she was born. Isaac, my ds2, is the smallest kid in his yeargroup as well so I'm not too worried.
Spughy, why did I think you had family in the cotswolds? Anyhow, we have some nice b&b's around here, or we can get to Cambridge to see you if that's easier. LMK. And no, it ALWAYS rains in England. We have 6 months rain and 6 months foul weather- apparently Yorkshire (next county down from where I grew up) is flooding again and there's been some deaths. It's one helluva way to prove that global warming is real


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Y'all: Brynn said her A-B-Cs today!!

















OMG! Wow! You must be so proud!









Gunter, great to hear from you! That sounds like some exciting times coming up for you guys!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Spughy, why did I think you had family in the cotswolds? Anyhow, we have some nice b&b's around here, or we can get to Cambridge to see you if that's easier. LMK. And no, it ALWAYS rains in England. We have 6 months rain and 6 months foul weather- apparently Yorkshire (next county down from where I grew up) is flooding again and there's been some deaths. It's one helluva way to prove that global warming is real









My sister dragged the family to the Cotswolds when she was over there so she could get some good walking/hiking in, and it's closer than the Lake District (she was training for some wilderness adventure race). I think I'd prefer to come see you due to the aforementioned family dysfunction. I love my grannie and my uncles, but they have a very weird codependent relationship plus one uncle has some alcohol-related issues so it'll be good to get away from them for a bit. Unless you really really want to visit a rather boring corner of Cambridgeshire - the actual town is Wisbech, it contains nothing of historical or cultural significance beyond a proximity to Ely Cathedral and King's Lynn.

Last time I was in the UK the weather was fine, and it was November. I will pray and make offerings to the weather gods before I come


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Drive-by post really quick:
No jobs news yet.
We get to keep the car (but we have to make slightly bigger payments til we're caught up).
We got two adorable little kitties.
Someone gave me an Ergo and I love it.
Happy birthday Mary!
Gabriel made a new friend today on an awesome nature hike we went on and I am so excited for him.

Okay I gotta go, fussy baby.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Mary, happy birthday!

Gunter, I have been thinking of you as of late, wondering how you were doing in that great solar house of yours with your adorable girl! What prompted the year of traveling ahead?

DiD, that is wonderful news about being able to keep your car.

Spughy, poor Rowan! If only our own digestive systems were still so well tuned: Something that's not quite right comes right up, everything else goes right out!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

DiD, it sounds like someone or something out there is smiling on you. This is going to be the year it all comes together, maybe?







:
Sarah, I'll PM you with some ideas. I do know wisbech though, that's the town that my train was stuck in during my 6 hour delay on the journey from hell (literally, sat at a table with a stuffed shirt with a laptop and a mobile, a rabbi and an elderly gentleman with a breastfed 7 month old in blazing sunshine in July 99.) Nuff said?


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Oh, *DiD*, I HOPE HOPE HOPE that you get some good news about DH's job soon!!! And glad to hear you didn't have to give your car back, too! Oh, and kittens - how fun! I would really love to have a couple of kitties, but we just don't have the room for it now. I'm looking forward to sometime in the future when we can have pets again. I can't believe someone *gave* you an Ergo - Lucky Mama!! I'm excited this morning because I think I'm going to get one on the trading post for $65!














I was kind of sold on them when I was up in Indy and got to use SoulJourney's for a few moments. And the one for sale is black with cranberry lining - very cool! The ring sling is just getting to be more difficult as Brynn gets heavier and heavier.

*Gunter*, Brynn is also on the small side. She's 21lbs right now, which is about 9th percentile, and she's also a picky eater and will sometimes go a couple of days without eating much food at all. But unlike Ezra, she was a pretty big newborn (8lbs, 10oz) and was off the charts for both height and weight for quite a while. But I know she's very healthy, so I try not to second-guess myself (or her) when it comes to the eating issue.

*Teresa*, you are so right! When you read TCOYF, didn't you have the feeling of, "Why didn't I know this already??!" I don't know how we make it to adulthood without *someone* passing on that information to us. I am really proud to think that Brynn will be so educated and liberated about her own sexuality, and (I really hope) will not feel any shame about her body!! And that is too funny that Woody was swimming, but still wouldn't take a bath!









I miss hearing from *Fern* on a regular basis!! Fern, are you sure you can't get internet?







How is it going in the new place? Are you caring for other children here as well?

I think I'm coming out of my hormonal haze; I feel quite a bit better today even though we had a pretty rough night of sleep. I can't believe how much more difficult my periods are post-Brynn....but I guess I was on birth control pretty much my whole life up until I conceived her, so it makes sense. I know we talked about this last month but I guess I really should look into some supplements to help me get through it. The past week has been a doozy.







:


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Annie posted a quick update on Fern down in yarn crafts, Amy. Basically they're in, and Fern has already turned the house into a home







Or at least, she was working pretty hard on it, and that was a week ago- so I assume by now it looks even better.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

thanks for missing me! i miss you all too. this is the first time ive sat at a computer since we left vancouver. its so nice to be away from computers1

funny about the update from annie. i havnt actually talked to her, so she must be getting info from my mom and sister









anyways, yep, ive been painting and working.. i got a job about 2 days after we moved in and ive been working 3 days a week (so only 3 days so far) cleaning motel rooms and serving food/iceacream at this roadside cafe kinda thing. its hard work, but fun, i guess. there have been some nice weather and a thunderstorm too. im pretty happy most of the time.

elwynn and ngaio are pretty happy with our new home. ngaio is into everything though and its hard. especially painting. she is so fast! she stuck her hand on the orange wall i was painting about 3 times yesterday and scraped a toy along it too









what else.. its a pretty quiet life out in the country. i played bingo last night at the community hall. it was fun. i never thought id think playing bingo with a bunch of oldies would be the most fun ive had in a week but it was. everyones so nice here.

love you all and ill update when i can.
off to read yer news.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Yay HI FERN!!!









So my kitties are named. Cupcake and Hot Dog.







That's what I get for letting two boys, who were apparently hungry, name them.

I got some gorgeous yarn that I'm hoping a friend of mine can teach me how to knit it into a soaker for Suriya.

Speaking of whom, on Saturday we went to the farmer's market and we had a bracelet made for her with her name on it. I will post a picture later, Photobucket appears to be down.

I have a freaking Mt. Vesuvius zit on my chin that will not go away! Anyone have any fabulous tips for clearing up blemishes (though that's putting it mildly)?


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yay Fern! Yep, the update came from your mum







Annie knew how much I was missing you, bless her. Congratulations on gainful employment, interesting paint effects and bingo









DiD, try:
toothpaste or crushed aspirin mixed with water (or better still vodka) or neat tea tree oil or lavender oil.

Amy, I forgot to say this earlier: my first six months or so on hormone-free periods were horrible, but then they settled down again. I'd also look at whatever sanpro you're using, and maybe think about a sponge or pads instead of a cup or tampons: less to cramp around. PLUS drink raspberry leaf tea, the protein and calcium will help. Here's to a gentle moontime next month, though.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Helen, do you mean DiD should DRINK the vodka?







DiD - that sucks about the zit, dude. Stress, I bet









I booked my flight, I booked my flight!!!!







:

Leaving Sept. 2, back Sept 22. Sometime in there I will visit with Helen.







And Rowan and Skye can team up and terrorize the surrounding countryside!!! Woot!

Oh and HI FERN!!!! Glad you guys are settling in ok.


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

hi all!
we've been sick sick sick with an AWFUL stomach flu.







it was really awful. i haven't been that sick in years. it hit me the worst, and then hit finley last night. he has never been sick, except for a fever around christmas...so it was scary for me to see him sick like that, and so sad. but, thankfully, it only lasted last night, and once he was asleep, he was okay. today, so far, so good, though he definitely doesn't feel great, and is reading and cuddling more than usual. poor little guy. now we're just hoping it doesn't hit DH.

happy birthday, a bit late, mary!

and honeytree...where in orlando are/were you? i grew up there, and my family is still there. maybe one day we'll meet on an overlapping trip there. i'm going in july to see them. they live (and i grew up in) the college park area, near downtown.

and i'm the one who was asking about TCOYF, and i am LOVING it! can't believe i haven't learned this stuff before, and am excitedly jumping into NFP or FAM (what is it officially called?) now. bye bye, pill.

and hi fern! glad you're getting settled in!
and spughy, hooray for your upcoming trip abroad. HOW FUN!!!!
and amy and jaymi and michelle, i'm so jealous you guys got to meet up. thanks for sharing...it looked lovely, and i felt like i got to know each of you a bit better through your descriptions of the day.

amy, i know everybody says it, but i'm blown away by how verbal brynn is! wow.

DiD, yay for the car!!! and the kittens!
helen, you always make me laugh









oh, and we have a picky eater over here too. finley will, too, sometimes go a few days without eating hardly anything, except mama's milk. he really doesn't like that much food, actually. but he is quite big. probably weighs about 30 lbs by now, or almost that.

this posting is about as random and scattered as i feel, as i try to crawl back into the real world (from the stomach yuckies), slowly but surely.

tell me some food that would sound good to me. (i've only eaten toast the past two days, and nothing the two days before that).


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

What do you mean by neat tea tree oil? Undiluted? Directly on it? I bet that would hurt but I so don't care. This thing has its own postal code. Yikes.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Oh I forgot to say...
I am officially a SOCCER MOM!!!!!!!!! Gabriel started soccer today and his coach is SO cool. His name is Kerkula and he's originally from a West African country called Liberia. He has never coached soccer before but he said he played soccer all through school and just loves to play with kids. He was really sweet to all the kids, especially the younger siblings.
Yeah, and I forgot the sunblock. Ouch.


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

Re: TCOYF, it boggles my mind that so many women just have no knowledge of the basics of their cycle. I guess it was unusual that in my high school Advanced Biology course and in my high school Human Anatomy course we learned the basics. But, my teacher was really cool and also spent an entire day in both classes talking about breastfeeding. I've been using FAM (NFP is just abstaining on fertile days, FAM is if you use a backup birth control on fertile days - like condoms or spermicide) since my cycle came back when Ellie was 8.5 months old. I've been very pleased, except it sucks to abstain the day I'm fertile because my sex-drive is always through the roof! Sometimes we'll use backup a few days before ovulation when I think there's a chance I'm fertile, but if I know that I am we don't do the deed. I'm crazy-fertile!

Re: sexy undies - I am back to loving my thongs, and have been going a bit nuts lately buying cute ones. Also, since I've lost so much weight since Ellie was born (I'm down about 60 lbs since I was pregnant!) my breasts have shrunk out of many, many bras in the last 18 months. But, that gives me a good excuse to buy the cutest nursing bras I can find every few months! Target has added several cute ones lately, and I even found a pretty one with some padding in it at Walmart tonight. (yeah, yeah, start throwing rocks at me for shopping there)

Ellie is to freaking cute for words! She's talking more and more now, and popping out words that I had no clue she knew constantly. She's also become quite the instigator to her big brother - she'll take stuff from him now, hit him, and yell at him. He's a bit surprised by this behavior, but is giving her a wider birth now.







I try not to get too involved, but stop them before it gets to bloodshed, of course. She does this really funny thing when she's mad at him where she'll grunt really loud, make a little fist, and then hit him in the chest. Its so funny to see her do that (they're less than 18 months apart, but he's about 10 inches taller than her and outweighs her by 15 lbs!), but I'm doing my best not to laugh and thus encourage her.

Speaking of size, at Ellie's 18 month appt she was 23 lbs which put her at the 25th percentile for weight and 31 inches which was the 40th percentile for height. I think its interesting that Killy looks a lot like me but has David's built (big and tall and STRONG) and Ellie looks like David but has my build (a little on the petite side).

We're loving life in the country, I take the kids hiking several times a week and we play outside all the time. There's a great playgroup here and lots of crunchy moms in the area. Plus, with both sets of grandparents around the kids get lots of opportunity to spend time with them, and DH and I even get to go out almost every week! We're having a bit of tough week, though, because my grandfather is dying of liver cancer. We've been up to visit several times this last month (my grandparents live about one hour away, we go up once or twice a week), and I don't know how I'm going to explain it to Killy when he dies. The hospice nurse said today that she thinks it'll be less than 48 hours now... My poor grandmother - they've been married for over 60 years. Its been really hard to watch her this week. I keep bringing the kids up to visit because that always cheers her up. I'm hoping that she'll come down and spent some time at my house with us later this summer. She and I have always been really close, and she especially feels a connection with Ellie. Yesterday we were leaving their house, and Ellie insisted on kissing my grandfather before leaving, even though he hasn't woken up in a few days. It was really sweet, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

I'm sure I've posted links to my blog before, but I update it every few days with tons of pictures, so here it is again: Photogrove - I've been putting up lots of hiking pictures lately!


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

I have a _lot_ of catching up to do...

We made it back safely but exhaustedly from our trip- it was pretty crazy to travel home then go to word that same evening and work four days straight. I then spent my only day off at the hospital to support/advocate for a friend whose toddler dd was having dental surgery under general anesthetic (the day after Xeowyn did- thanks for posting Aubrey, since I told my friend that she wasn't the only mama in Oregon stressing in a hospital waiting room!).
Finally today and tomorrow I have a "weekend", then back to a little more normal work pattern. I had a wonderful day off today with a run this morning, a trip to the farmers market to buy fresh berries, a playdate at the park with friends and a bead shopping trip (please tell me we're still doing a bead swap) this afternoon. We had dinner this evening with new friends, and dessert was a new recipe for berry cobbler that I made. The kids played outside, and I got to putter in my garden briefly this evening.

Neela has had a few terrifically toddlerish days, and has learned a new high-pitched screech. But also moments of amazing cuteness and delight. She is also obsessed with the Alligator Pie rhyme, and called out from bed the other night "alligator soup, alligator soup, if I don't get some WANT SOME NURSING!"

And I know the knitters in the group will appreciate this event that we went to this weekend. Neela loved all of the animals, and DH and I admired a lot of the vendors.

Hi to everyone- even when I'm not posting I'm rarely more than a day behind on reading. I'll try to get back again sooner, but with my DH off school and writing from home over the summer computer time is a bit harder to come by


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## carolynrosa (Apr 11, 2005)

Not a very active Nov '05 mama here, but I have news: we're pregnant again! My est. due date (based on date of conception) is March 02, 2008.
I have a feeling we'll have a boy this time, although DH thinks it'll be another girl. We'll see who is right (me) and who is wrong (him). lol
Amelia will be 2 yrs and 4 mos when the new baby arrives... I hope she'll be okay with it. I'm still nursing her, and I already planned on gradually weaning her around two years. I'm a little nervous b/c my last birth was five weeks early, and I'm afraid that maybe nursing late in pregnancy is not a good idea. But then again, I don't want her to feel that she is being weaned for the new baby... Wr'll see....


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Congratulations, Carolyn







Does this mean you're coming to play with me and Strawberryfields in February DDC too?

Mel, how jealous am I of the Black Sheep Gathering? I've read a lot about it and I'd love to go. So, does this mean you bought stash? Are you now (gasp) a knitter?








I can't get over how verbal some of these girls are. Luckily, my dd does not have a word for breastfeeding and would never DREAM of calling from her cot for nursing- though that's mostly because she screeches like a banshee instead







Yep, I think we should still do a bead swap, but I still haven't had a chance to go into Bath to buy some.
DiD- yay for association football, boo for calling it soccer







Both my boys play, and Kerkula sounds awesome. Yep, put neat TTO on the spot (or crushed aspirin mixed with vodka) and that should suck all of the sheer gloopiness out. This is pretty much the only time that it IS ok to put neat essential oils on your skin, though- desperation.







Queenie. Your life sounds so blessed right now, it must be bringing so much happiness to both your grandparents to see you settled and happy. I hope the coming days bring gentle release for your grandfather, and that your grandmother can accept the strength of her family







I know it's hard.
Barcelona, think brat: bananas, rice, apples, toast. No dairy of any kind, eat whatever seems like a good idea in moderation.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

*







:Happy Birthday SoulJourney!!!







:*

The big 3-3 today!!!


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

OH, Happy Birthday SoulJourney! I hope it's a fantabulous day for you!










DH took a picture of Rowan today and she looks SO grown-up in it! I actually got teary-eyed looking at it. My little baby, not so much a baby anymore.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Spughy, I'm having those moments all the time now.







Your link didn't work, by the by.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

As promised:

Suriya's bracelet
In the Ergo
Fabulous yarn


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Try it again? It works fine for me. Here it is again: http://gallery.fishbc.com/gallery/vi...739&id=pic_008

The site may have been down momentarily.

DiD - love the pic of Suriya in the Ergo! What a cute little pudgy face!


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Yep, it worked. God, she is sooo beautiful Sarah! I mean, she always has been, but gets more beautiful all the time. DiD, Suriya is getting so big too! She's such a cutie pie! I am so jealous of your gifted Ergo. I didn't get the one that I wanted on the TP, so I'm thinking of just making one of these instead.


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## spughy (Jun 28, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Yep, it worked. God, she is sooo beautiful Sarah! I mean, she always has been, but gets more beautiful all the time. DiD, Suriya is getting so big too! She's such a cutie pie! I am so jealous of your gifted Ergo. I didn't get the one that I wanted on the TP, so I'm thinking of just making one of these instead.

Thanks Amy! I think she's beautiful too but I'm also quite hopelessly biased, y'know?









But if you want a back carrier, why don't you just use one of your lovely slings? I'm all about the back carry in the sling now. I've no idea why more people don't do this. It takes some tinkering but the end result is a comfortable carry for you & DD and no extra equipment! I updated my siggie a while ago to show a pic of me & Rowan enjoying our sling (it happened to be the Maya wrap that day, not our super-cool john deere sling, but we do use that one too - the smaller one).

The trick is to put the sling on with the rings about halfway down your back. Settle your little darling on your hip with your hand under her bum, inside the sling. Reach around and pull straight up on the tail until the sling is almost supporting your DC. If the rings are now on your shoulder or anywhere on the chest side of your shoulder (ie not still on your back) you'll want to slide the sling around a little more so the rings are still on your back, just below your shoulder. (This is why you keep your hand under your DC's bum.) Next, remove your hand from the sling, place the arm beside your DC in front of your DC, with your hand under her/his bum on the outside of the sling, and using that arm, slide your DC around onto your back while you snug up the tail of the sling with your other hand.

The rings at this point should be above your breast. The sling fabric should fan out OVER your other breast, be fully supporting your DC from bum to high mid-back, and come over your shoulder. You'll find you don't want to fan out the fabric on your shoulder too much since it'll give your DC more support the higher up it goes on your arm.

That's as clearly as I can explain it! It's taken us some time to REALLY perfect it but it's great! Even with my back being all gibbled I have no problem walking for quite a distance with DD like this.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Sarah, that was my first thought upon seeing those pictures, too--Rowan IS gorgeous. Is she a serious baby? In a lot of your pictures she looks on the serious side. I think Woody is. He certainly has many silly and chatty moments, but overall he is a pretty quiet and serious guy. And thanks so much for posting those directions for the ring sling back carry; since seeing your signature picture with that carry, I've been meaning to ask you how you pull it off!

Amy, I made my own mei tai. It was a very simple project, and it was really fun choosing the fabric and making my own little modifications and stuff. It's still my favorite carrier for "long" distances (not hikes or anything, just walks around the neighborhood or window shopping, etc.). I used this pattern, but obviously with cuter fabric!

Welcome back, Melanie! What a splendid day--running, farmers market, friends, cobbler! I don't know why I don't run in the mornings anymore; it always makes my days go better. I hate getting up one second earlier than my body wants to, though, and that's usually about 8:30 and exactly two minutes before Woody!

Carolyn, congratulations!!!

And SoulJourney, beautiful mama, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

DiD, your girlie is so sweet! Does your son like to carry her in the Ergo? My students always wanted to carry Woody in the Maya Wrap. They would put it on and then kind of mimic me, saying the things I said to Woody and stuff. It was funny to see how much they identified me with my carrier!

Barcelona, I grew up in Maitland, and that's where my family still is. I love college park--my favorite little bead store is there, and turns out that five years before my husband and I met (500 miles from Orlando), he spent a summer living with his sister in college park, just five minutes from where _I_ lived.


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

Have y'all seen this new website?

Good Reads

(As if I need another web thing to join, but ...) It looks so cool!

If you want to join as my "friend" (so we can see each other) click right here!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Gabriel is always asking to carry Suriya or Winter in one of my carriers. He also has worn them in the Mei Tai and the Kozy a time or two. Cute!


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## Queen of Cups (Aug 29, 2003)

I hate to be the nay-sayer, but I love love love my Ergo in a way that I've never loved my Mai Tai. The Ergo is so unbelievably comfortable, and feels so secure to me, since it buckles instead of being tied. Plus, I always got overheated with a MT, because off all the fabric around me. I find the Ergo much cooler - especially for hiking in the summer, which we do a lot of.

This morning Ellie slept late, and when I finally went to wake her up I found a deer tick on her neck. So, after mad research about Lyme Disease I decided to forgo tick testing and just keep a very close eye on her for the next few weeks. And not tell my in-laws about it, because they'd absolutely freak that we weren't having her tested and/or treating just in case. Then, this afternoon my Papa passed away. Its really not been a great day.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Queen of Cups* 
I hate to be the nay-sayer, but I love love love my Ergo in a way that I've never loved my Mai Tai. The Ergo is so unbelievably comfortable, and feels so secure to me, since it buckles instead of being tied. Plus, I always got overheated with a MT, because off all the fabric around me. I find the Ergo much cooler - especially for hiking in the summer, which we do a lot of.

This morning Ellie slept late, and when I finally went to wake her up I found a deer tick on her neck. So, after mad research about Lyme Disease I decided to forgo tick testing and just keep a very close eye on her for the next few weeks. And not tell my in-laws about it, because they'd absolutely freak that we weren't having her tested and/or treating just in case. Then, this afternoon my Papa passed away. Its really not been a great day.


Q of C--







Condolences on the loss of your Papa.








I'm sure Ellie is going to be fine.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

FWIW, I agree with Q of C about the Mei-Tai vs. Ergo, at least after about 12 months/20 lbs or so the Kozy carrier (a mei-tei type carrier) was pretty uncomfortable--for me the straps were digging into my shoulders and hurting my neck and shoulders, or it would hurt my lower back if it was looser/lower--I just couldn't get her adjusted well without something hurting me anymore, after being thrilled with the Kozy from about 4 months when I got it until then. I like my ergo much more now that she's heavier/taller/wigglier. Amy--you are welcome to borrow my Kozy to try it out if you want, that way you can see how it works for you before you go the the time/expense/effort of making one.

Here--today has sort of been *one of those days.* Two small highlights--the 1st evening that DH has been gone out of town, after returning home post-dinner and the store,I had to run into the house and to the bathroom with Ella because I was on the verge of major poo-continence, meanwhile the dogs were barking because they also had to go, so I let them out into the backyard after making sure the gate was closed and then ran to the bathroom. I came out to let them back inside, and apparently they had jumped the back fence and were lost for about 15-20 minutes. Enough to engender a panicked search for them in very pajama-like clothing in the pelting rain, and a call to the next-door neighbors to see if they had spotted them. (They hadn't, but came out to help me look.) In the midst of my panic when I discovered that they were gone and was running back into the house to get Ella to take her to look for them, she took the opportunity to expand her vocabulary, and repeated a word that rhymes with "duck." But that word unfortunately does not begin with the letter, "D". Anyway, I forgot about that and drove around looking with them and trying to imagine them coming back safe and sound. Eventually I got back to the house and as I was pulling up and talking with the neighbors, they (the dogs, not the neighbors!) came running up to my car, apparently happy to be found. But I was really really scared that they'd get hit by a car, or just that they'd get lost because they don't really know this area yet.

Besides that, Ella pulled down a piece of mexican pottery that shattered on the floor earlier today. Didn't get around to cleaning that up yet even--I was going to when we got home, but once I got her happily settled in the jumperoo watching signing time (which is the only place I can put her for a few moments where she will be happily occupied and can't injure herself and/or destroy property), I went to bring in the things I'd bought at the store. I'd gotten a 6 pack of coke (I know, I know) and two of the cans fell loose from the plastic ring-thing that holds the 6pack together (or is supposed to, anyway) and one of the cans exploded all over me, the sunroom, the door, the steps, the floormat, etc. So I had to clean that up. Which required a couple of trips to the garage to find the mop, the bucket, etc. Finally I got that cleaned up, but by then Ella was crying from the jumperoo "nite-nites, nite-nites, Mommy, Daddy!" It was so sad. And then I had to take a shower, so I took her in with me. She was none too thrilled about it, but finally I got her to bed.

Oy!







: I hope I survive till DH gets back Sunday night!!!


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## barcelona (May 1, 2006)

happy birthday souljourney!!!! hope you had a glorious day.

q of c, sending healing loving thoughts to your and your family's way, as you say goodbye to your papa.

kavita...hang in there mama! it can be so overwhelming with no break or help from DH. whenever i've experienced it, i feel that way, and things like you described seem always to happen, right?

rowan, sarah is gorgeous!

helen, thanks for the food suggestions. rice sounds good. i am feeling significantly better today.

honeytree, i know maitland very well. my grandparents live there! if your'e gonna be there at thanksgiving, by chance, perhaps we can meet up. (we'll be there). finley is also a pretty serious guy, though with plenty of silly and chatty moments. he and woody would surely get along. and i know the bead store well. used to go all the time.

DiD, yay ergo! suriya is so sweet.

and i'm another who loves the ergo. it's so comfy. i do love the look of other carriers, though, and am often tempted to try one...(and i do have a ring carrier that i use occassionally), but ultimately, finley is so big, i think the ergo is the way to go for me for now.

off to watch a movie with DH!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I am totally loving my Ergo more than my Hotsling, Mei Tai, Kozy and Moby-style wrap. I haven't tried Winter in the Ergo yet but I am so much more comfortable carrying Suriya in it. Winter's so big and walking so much I don't carry him that often anymore unless he falls asleep in the car.
Speaking of sleep...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Still loving my wilkinet, but I'm tempted to try the ring sling on my back more. I am investing in a new sling for the new babe though- I think I'm planning on a wrap of some description. A february babe is just going to hit the point of wanting to be forward-facing when the warm weather comes, and wrapped in two layers of needlecord plus some padding, that's a very sweaty baby...


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## *Amy* (Jun 16, 2004)

QoC - Sending peaceful thoughts to your family during this time. I am sorry for your loss.







And healthy vibes to Ella (FWIW, I had plenty of ticks as a kid, and never got sick from any of them).

Kavita, sounds like a really rough night, Mama.







I'm glad you found the doggies (or, they found you) before anything bad happened. That must have been really scary. I hope the rest of DH's away time is less dramatic.

Thanks for all of your feedback about the Ergo. I think that that's what I need to go with; I had been thinking that the mei tai-style carriers wouldn't be comfortable after a time. I really need the structure of padded straps and a supportive waist-belt. Now I just need to save up enough money to get one!







Oh, Spuhy, as for carrying her on my back with a sling....honestly, I'm just getting kind of sick of my sling and sick of having to maneuver over/around my huge boobs all the time!!

So Brynn seems to have poison ivy on her hands from our hike last weekend in Indy.







I noticed it on Monday, but didn't realize until last night that that's why she's been sleeping so restlessly all week. I brought her into bed with me at around 11:00 and she was rubbing her palms together all night, obviously really uncomfortable. I put some hydrocortisone on her palms at around 5:00am, which seemed to helped, but I think I will give her some benadryl tonight at bedtime. At least it's not spreading, though.


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

nak...

i've been thinking about this pattern. I loved my wrap, but find it too difficult for the constant in and out, up and down of toddlerdom. And I suck at getting her on my back in a wrap. But the frankencozy wrap meets mei tai might work well for us. But I so rarely wear her for long periods of time, and have such limited time to sew lately that it may just have to wait for a future babe...

Kavita~ good luck with the rest of your time alone. What an evening!

QofC~ Sending my best wishes to you and your family.


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

QoC, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Woody got bit by a tick once, too, and it was scary. But we just watched and waited, too, and of course it turned out to be nothing.

Good God, Kavita! That was a horrible day. I can totally relate to the dogs' inordinate ability to escalate an already trying situation--mine thwarted two nap attempts today (which I desperately needed) with near constant barking, and I was visualizing them happily living in someone _else's_ house!

I took two new pictures today, and thought I'd share since we were talking about back carries. But Sarah, last night I tried the back carry with the Maya Wrap and really liked it! It did take a sec to get it adjusted so the bottom rail wasn't pinching Woody's legs, but once I figured that out it was secure and comfortable for our walk.

OK, one more picture: this one is from this weekend at my mom's house. Woody's favorite game, before he ventured off the steps, was to throw the floaties and make me swim after them and toss them back to him.







(And the picture just _looks_ a little blue--the pool was actually quite warm!)


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## MelW (Jan 13, 2005)

Helen~ My DH has taken up knitting. I am holding myself back in hopes of finishing some of the massive backlog of sewing projects, both real and imagined. But the blacksheep gathering almost converted me to taking up knitting again. That and watching my DH click needles while sitting on the couch, as I hunch over the sewing machine in the corner







:

Teresa~ Woody is beautiful (and so are you!). He looks like he's having sooo much fun in the pool. We run with Neela, since we have an early morning nurse-a-thon, and I'd have to get up at about 4 am to acutally escape without her protesting. She does pretty well in the jogging stroller, though has a 40 minute maximum on a good day (including dried fruit bribes). I feel so much better with regular morning runs, and have finally built back some of muscle that I used to have pre-baby.

spughy~ Rowan does look so grown up! And it looks like she's grown a lot of hair recently, too


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Hey all- not able to fully read and catch up right now, just popping in.

QoC- so sorry to hear about your loss. I will be thinking of you.

Barcelona- ugh, you poor thing. I truly hope this illness passes very soon- stomach bugs are the worst.

SoulJourney- happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!







:

And a HUGE thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes for me, I appreciate it more than you can imagine. It wasn't the greatest day ever, so the good wishes from friends were really the best part of the whole thing.

Mel- welcome back from vacation! I look forward to hearing/reading more about it.

Carolyn- congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







All the best to you, and I look forward to hearing how things go with the new pregnancy!

And it looks like I have a lot of pics of gorgeous children to go back and look at!

Ok- I wanted to tell you guys, I found out today that Utne magazine published my letter! If any of you read it, a couple issues ago the main topic was midwifery care and the 'business' of birth, so I wrote in, and they never even told me it would be published, my friend wrote and told me today! It isn't online, so if you happen to go to Whole Foods or somewhere that carries it, check it out! I had to go to the library to see it!


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## HoneyTree (Apr 5, 2005)

Mary, how exciting! I read that magazine cover to cover every month! YOU are "Demand Better Care"!!!! That letter was so direct and concise and empassioned;







way to go!!!


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

I'm actively avoiding doing anything I should as I'm too stressed out to think straight. What better way to destress then catch up on our thread? My stress of the moment. This morning dh called to tell me he probably won't be working for the entire month of July. With no money in the bank and bills due that won't be covered by what he made this month things are crazy here. So I spent a couple hours trying to find any programs that could help with money for the month and looking at the local job link site. I am so beyond sick of this every couple months not having month to cover basics like rent and electric! I've been talking about picking up a part time job for months now, but with his picking up evening and weekend work when he can and no child care I have not been able to even go put in applications







: I think I am going to be putting in some applications at call center places in hopes I can work out some over night hours. I just wish it would pay right away.

I did just finish up a ring sling and I'm working on a mei tai for a friend. All the mei tais I've ever done have padded shoulders. I tried making one without padding in the shoulders and wore Annette in it when she was 2.5 for maybe 10 minutes. Then I took the thing apart and added padding in the shoulder straps. I've also done a back carry with Annette in the ring sling, but she was such a wiggler that I never felt really safe with her that way. After I discovered mei tais I never used the ring sling for a back carry. I've also never tried that with Joseph although he might cooperate better for it. My experience with 2 shoulder carriers is limited to those I have made and the Maya Tie. I've only seen the maya tie once and it made me worried about plugged ducts as the person wearing it had the straps spread out over her breasts.

Oh yes and for those of you visiting the sunshine state. If you are heading east from Orlando to the beach I'm over that way.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Kristina. Worrying about money stinks, doesn't it? We're not entirely sure what we're going to be living off for the next 2 months until Steve's grant payments come in- CSA and tax credits mostly, I think.
On mei tai type things, go look at this one- like a mei tai but with slimmer and more padded straps. I love mine.


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

Woohoo I think I love our landlord! Not only is he working with us on July's rent. My dh is going to do some work on our shower in exchange for the month's rent. He also gave dh several names and numbers including his brother's in hopes that one of them might be in need of some help. Just having rent cared for takes care of the by far largest chunk of our money worries for the month. Aside from the lawn only having been cut once in 5 months I'm starting to think we have the best landlord ever.


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Kristina, I'm so sorry about the $ situation. I'm glad the rent is ok for this month, and I hope one of you can fiind work soon and that they are flexible with the bill-paying for this month.

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Well Mamas, we had an awesome MamaCon up in Indy yesterday. You can read all about it if you like!

What a wonderful day! I read the blog entry and looked at the pics; it is so great to see you all 'in person'!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneyTree* 
THIS is the power of information. THIS is the conversation that every teenage girl should be able to have with some woman she knows and trusts!











Quote:


Originally Posted by *spughy* 
I'm probably going to book my ticket today, Helen! It looks like we'll be in the UK for the first 3 weeks of September -

Woo hoo! That sounds awesome. I'm so glad someone gets to go over and see Helen and Skye!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Gunter* 
we are leaving the USA on wed. to fly to perth, australia. i am doing a birth attendant school that starts there then heading to thailand for four months. we may be in indonesia for another six months but are not sure exactly which country yet.

That all sounds so exciting! Best wishes on the flight. I'm sure you'll have the experience of a lifetime. Did you sell your house or is someone renting it out? Ethan was the same way; he was less than 18# at 18 months, and never ate or nursed. He is still tiny but I've long since learned to trust his body and his appetite and not worry about it. It is so freeing to be able to let go of that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 

*







:Happy Birthday SoulJourney!!!







:*

The big 3-3 today!!!

Looks like our b-days are close to each others, and mine was also 33!

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Amy** 
Have y'all seen this new website?

Good Reads

Thanks for the link, Amy! I joined as your "friend". Looks interesting, although like you, the last thing I need is to do more online!









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kavita* 
Oy!







: I hope I survive till DH gets back Sunday night!!!









I will be thinking of you- that sounds so stressful. I hope you and Ella have a peaceful night, and the time flies until your DH is home again!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneyTree* 
Mary, how exciting! I read that magazine cover to cover every month! YOU are "Demand Better Care"!!!! That letter was so direct and concise and empassioned;







way to go!!!









Thanks! I didn't even remember what I had written- I was really worried it was an incoherent militant sounding rant! So I'm glad it was not too over the top. I really need to subscribe, I







that magazine but can barely get to the reading materials I have right now!

Barcelona- hope you guys are all on the mend by now.

QoC- thinking of you all.

Aubrey- same for you. I hope Xeowyn's dental surgery went ok.


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## Kavita (Dec 7, 2004)

I started a new thread for July: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=703938

Okay so I have no idea how to link that properly and overwrite it, but there ya go!


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