# Is there a gentle way to enforce a quiet time each day?



## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

And I hate the word 'enforce', but I used it for lack of a better word.

Ds is 2.5, spirited and very very bright. He is, as he has always been, in constant thought and activity, although I would definately not call him hyperactive. He has a long attention span and his activities are purposeful, he just *always* has to be doing something and interacting in some way. 95% of his activities include interacting with me.

He does not watch tv at all. Doesn't like it. He went through a big computer phase (as in playing 2-3 hours a day-mainly with Microsoft Word and a few educational games) back when he was around age 2, but it burned out when he had mastered everything he possibly could. He will do some playing by himself, but only for very short snippets of time.

My current problem is, he doesn't nap and hasn't since age 2. I really don't think he needs a nap, most days, because his mood doesn't suffer for not napping and even despite waking at 7am he isn't ready for bed most days until 8pm or so. I don't mind that he doesn't nap, but I would love for him to have a quiet time at some point during the day. Not only for myself, but I think it would help him recharge. He is just so draining (I say that lovingly). I find myself being very edgy and snappy by the end of the evening because I have listened to his non-stop (and I truly mean non-stop) talking all day. Is that awful of me? I just feel like I need a small break from the constant interacting/talking/playing/pretending. Most kids would happily watch a half hour of tv, but I am his entertainment.

I hope I don't sound too whiny, I know how fortunate I am to be blessed with such an amazing, loving little boy, I just feel like I need to think my own thoughts for maybe 15-30 mintues each day, kwim?

Any ideas, anyone?


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

"mommy needs some quiet time right now. please go play quietly _____(pick a place)_____. after mommy has quiet time, we'll ____(read, look for bugs, make cookies, color, etc)_____."

my son is a non-stop chatterbox too, but he (mostly) respects my quiet time now. warning: it has taken us over 2 years to establish that when mommy needs quiet time, it's best to let her have it.

eta ~ it might help to get him involved in some kind of playgroup. IMO it's not healthy for either of you for you to be his sole source of entertainment.


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## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

Well, I guess I should clarify *I'm* not his only source of entertainment, but he does prefer real people as opposed to tv, books, etc. I was just talking about when it's he/baby and I at home. We do get out of the house and he does interact with people other than myself.







: I guess I wasn't clear about that.


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## GatorNNP (May 17, 2004)

When I was in 2nd grade the teacher had what she called "deer time". For 30 minutes after we ran around after lunch we came inside and had to be quiet as a deer. She didn't really care what activity we did whether reading, drawing, or just lying our head down. She sort of made it special by calling it "deer time". Maybe that is why the kids went for it. Perhaps get out some art and craft supplies or call it imagination time or something? Good luck.


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## moss (Feb 7, 2004)

There's a waldorf based book called SEven times the sun that talks about ritual and rhythem thru the days and seasons. They recommend a quiet time in the afternoons, and i'm pretty sure that there are songs and such in the book that would aid the transition into the quiet time. I dont own the book, and it's been a while since i read it. It's definitely worth a skim thru for ideas.







GL!


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## star792 (May 31, 2004)

d.e.a.r. time

its drop everything and read time. we had that when i was in school, and i beleive a lot of schools still do it. it was my fav. time of day.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

My DD has just begun dropping naps, and I'm pretty sure by the time my son is born she will have dispensed with them altogether. So I will be looking to implement a "quiet time", too.

I'm reading this thread with interest, but does anybody have any suggestions as to how to implement this? I mean, I know what to say, but what if DD is bugging me, calling for me, etc...what should my response be?

I suppose it would help to make sure she is in the right mood for it first, busy entertaining herself, have spent time with her already etc...but I can just picture lying in bed with baby and having her come in to bounce on the bed, or ask for something, or for me to play with her, etc....if I have to get up and take her out of the bedroom that kind of defeats quiet time, plus I don't like physically "banishing" her...besides she'd probably just try to come back in.

Should I just say no, maintain my stance, and try to be as boring as possible?


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## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

Quote:

but does anybody have any suggestions as to how to implement this? I mean, I know what to say, but what if DD is bugging me, calling for me, etc...what should my response be?
Yeah, that's what I was wondering, too.


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## momatheart23 (May 25, 2002)

my son has recently started not going down for a nap alot of days. I tell him that it is quite time, and he needs to go play quietly, if he keeps coming up to me I ask him if he wants to go lay down for a nap, and since he doesn't he says no, so I say that he needs to go play quietly then. This normally works and I am sure is going to need to be implemented more before he gets used to it.


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## Eman'smom (Mar 19, 2002)

This is what we do (with ok success most of the time)

I tell ds that I'm going to put dd down for a nap, and when I get back it's time for quiet time.

I put dd down this normally takes a bit.

Then I get ds, we go into my room, he does quiet time in my bed, so that it isn't "nap" time. We read a story or two, then I tell him that he needs to look at stories by himself and I'll come get him in a bit.

He likes to leave the door open, I tell him as long as he's quiet he can, but if he's not we'll have to close the door, because mommy needs quiet time too.

This whole thing was hard the first week or so, but has really gotten much better, I think he realizes that he feels better after quiet time, so it hasn't been such a struggle. It has really saved my sanity.


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## PONOKELAMAMA (Apr 30, 2002)

i am right there with you! my ds is just three and just dropped his naps about three months ago. we do not watch tv either and even though sometimes it seems like a tv would be an easy solution, i cannot handle the crazy overstimulated behavior that comes after watching a movie. although i jsut found out i am pregnant so getting a quiet time working is very important and i have been thinking about it alot. the problem here is that he really does need a nap, so quiett ime is so very important. we are kinda getting the hang of it. he has actually started asking when he gets tired for quiet time, which is great. (this is after about a month of trying to get a quiet time working) what we do is:

DS gets to pick a book to listen to on tape. then i bring a stack of books for him to look at quietly and then he NEEDS to lie down and rest his mind and body. the last part of him lying there and actually resting is the hardest part, but that is what he needs the most. i always nursed him to sleep so he does not do well lying by himself and resting. the problem is if i try to lie with him, he thinks its time to party and besides it is not quiet time for me so neither of us a recharged afterwards.

what do you experienced quiet time moms expect out of quiett ime? how long is your quiet time? how long did it take to get a routine working and effective?


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

We are in a forced situation of quiet time. 24/7, you have to be relatively quiet here in Germany, but they have laws about enforced quiet hours. You can be arrested and/or evicted for not abiding by the quiet hour laws (yes, kids are allowed to be kids, but it's messy to deal with complaining neighbors and or police). It's been a HUGE adjustment for us, coming from a 3 story, 3 bedroom home in the 'burbs of the U.S. to living in a flat in Munich.

Admittedly, I've let dd start watching a bit of TV (and her German is quite a bit better than mine for it), but the salvation of quiet time has been *books* for us. I know you said your son doesn't like books, but I think if you really want to have some quiet time, try to spark his interest in books (not sure how to do this). My own dd (2.5 years old yesterday) loves books (I do, too and we are a family of readers), so that's easy to say, but it really is a wonderful and quiet activity. Dd doesn't actually "read", but she has all of her books memorized and will go through the book page by page and recite it. Other than that, the only activity that I can think of where I can go do my own thing is crafts. Washable paint, a drop cloth, some brushes and you're free for a while.

We have 3 hours of quiet time each day (noon - 3pm) and it was difficult to establish at first, but constant reinforcement was the key. After lunch, when I say "quiet time has started", dd usually goes to her books and starts picking them out. HTH!!


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