# Kissing your child on the lips.



## Mamma Christi (Dec 15, 2006)

Okay, my fiancee and I are having a bit of an argument (or rather a very heated discussion) about parents who kiss their children on the lips. So I told him I would post here about it and we'd see what kind of results we get.

`So how many of you kiss your children on the lips?
`For those of you who do, when did you start and would you ever feel that they were too old for this and stop?
`For those who don't, any real reason why not?

Thanks in advance for your responses!!


----------



## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I guess I never really thought about it but I stopped kissing DS1 at some point in the last few years. He's 7 years old. DS2 is 3 and DS3 is 1 and I don't see anything wrong with kissing them. I think I mostly stopped kissing DS1 because he objected in front of his friends and I didn't want to embarass him.
I know full grown adults that kiss their parents though. I think it's a personal decision, like many parenting choices, and it can really depend on how you were raised, your culture, etc.


----------



## amj'smommy (Feb 24, 2005)

I do... I never really thought about it though. dd is almost 8 and every morning before she gets on the bus *she* insists for a kiss on the lips







I suppose we'll stop whenever she feels uncomfortable with it.


----------



## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

I kiss my kids just about everywhere. Ds is 6, so I've stopped "biting" his booty, but still do it to the baby. I never really thought about not kissing them on the lips. Ds gets annoyed if I don't give him a kiss on the lips at bedtime, he'll call me back.


----------



## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I kiss dd on the lips, she's 2.5 and loves it.... but dh kissed his parents on the lips at least through high school









-Angela


----------



## Jmo780 (May 3, 2006)

Dh & I both kiss our kids on the lips-We have done this from the day they were born.

I am 26 and STILL kiss my mom on the lips


----------



## UltimateSerj (Apr 9, 2002)

My parents always kissed us on the cheek, still do i don't ever remember lip kissing my parents!, but we lip kiss our children and i don't know if i will ever not, unless they want to pe kissed differnt.

honestly i thought it was cold of my mom to turn her check on me to kiss it! i remember feeling weird..

i think either way is fine.


----------



## Houdini (Jul 14, 2004)

I'm not big on lip kissing, but my 11.5 is. He has always done it. My other three offer me their heads to kiss. They don't even like the cheek kiss.


----------



## sunnysideup (Jan 9, 2005)

I kiss my kids on the lips. My oldest is fourteen and still gives me a kiss whenever we part, even in front of her friends. It's sweet.


----------



## LouCostello (Sep 16, 2005)

We are a lip kisser family, always have been and probably always will be. I come from a long line of lip kisser; my grandma, my mom, all her siblings, my dad, etc...


----------



## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

i kiss my daughter on the lips, but my older boys i give them the cheek to kiss.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I dont kiss my kids on the lips. Dh does on occasion but for me it just dosnt work. I kiss cheeks, foreheads etc. The germ factor is a big one for me. I dont think there is a thing wrong with it for others but for me it isnt something I am comfortable doing.

It steams from the way I was raised I guess my mom or dad never hugged or kissed us except on special occasions and then it just felt akward. I do hug and kiss both kids just not on the mouth.


----------



## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

I have always kissed my kids on the lips.


----------



## Mamma Christi (Dec 15, 2006)

Okay then I'm not as weird as my fiancee thinks! He thinks it's really odd for a parent to kiss their child on the lips. The reason I started was because I read that babies have the most sensory receptors in their lips and fingers so I started kissing his hands and his lips - plus I know plenty of people who do it. I'm going to show him this later so he'll realize I'm not alone


----------



## infraread (Jun 3, 2003)

We kiss DS on the lips (he's almost 5). That's how both my parents always kissed me. lol, threw DH for a loop the first time he saw me kiss my mom, but he adjusted quicklike. My parents are both gone now, but that's how I still kiss my grandma. So I don't see anything wrong with it so long as both parties are comfortable.


----------



## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

I always kiss DD1 (4) on the lips, DH won't, he says it's weird.


----------



## *Jessica* (Jun 10, 2004)

I still kiss my parents and grandparents on the lips, so of course I kiss my kids on the lips!


----------



## Village Mama (Jul 22, 2004)

I kiss both of my boys on the lips... as well as my mom!


----------



## saraann (Dec 1, 2006)

I kiss her on her lips and her cheeks and her head and her forehead and her belly and her hands, she loves kisses.


----------



## Rigama (Oct 18, 2005)

Lip kissers here, too. Ds is nearly 5 now, and I suppose when he 24 I won't be kissing his lips anymore, but who knows. FIL and MIL still kiss dh on the lips. He tries to do the head turn at the last moment so they get his cheek, though







Oddly enough, it's all I can do to get them to hug me, but that's another thread!


----------



## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

I used to kiss my mom and dad on the lips when I was younger, probably until I was about six. We stopped doing that as I got older, but when I was young it was no big deal. I could see how some people would see it and freak out, but that's because society tends to take everything a bit to far and a bit to serioulsly nowadays. I think that it's fine for family members to kiss each other on the lips, as long as everyone is comfortable with it and it's completely innocent.


----------



## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

`So how many of you kiss your children on the lips?
WE DO.

`For those of you who do, when did you start and would you ever feel that they were too old for this and stop?
When did we start? How about at birth! If he doesn't want a lip-smooch we'll not give him one. He's 3- we kiss him everywhere!!!!!


----------



## ayme371 (Jan 5, 2005)

Another lip kisser here.


----------



## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

I can't remember when I stopped kissing DS1 on the lips. He's not a very huggy/kissy/snuggly person in general, but when I kiss him now it's on the cheek or the top of his head (if he's sitting....since he's taller than me







).

DS2 still kisses me on the lips, but not every time. Sometimes it's a cheek thing.

I kissed my parents on the lips when I was a kid, but I don't anymore


----------



## swebster (Dec 7, 2004)

I still kiss my mom on the lips. My dad has a furry beard and bad breath...so he just gets a hug.


----------



## LouCostello (Sep 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *infraread* 
We kiss DS on the lips (he's almost 5). That's how both my parents always kissed me. lol, threw DH for a loop the first time he saw me kiss my mom, but he adjusted quicklike. My parents are both gone now, but that's how I still kiss my grandma. So I don't see anything wrong with it so long as both parties are comfortable.

I think DH was thrown for the biggest loop when my little granny gave him a kiss on the lips. But even though he's not from a particularly demonstrative family, hehimself is very affectionate with both me and our children.


----------



## ani'smama (Nov 12, 2004)

I kiss my dd's on the lips - since birth.


----------



## moneca (Sep 5, 2004)

I used to feel the same way that your fiancee does before having my daughter. I grew up in a family that kissed on the cheek or forehead, but never on the lips. We kiss dd on the lips and everywhere else. I bite her bootie too when she gets out of the bath sometimes - it makes her squeal. I think it all depends what you're comfortable with. I'm not comfortable kissing any adults other than dh at all. When we moved to Brooklyn a few years ago all my girlfriends kissed each other on the cheek and I was never comfortable with it.


----------



## FreeSpiritMama (Oct 22, 2003)

We kiss both dcs on the lips and have done since birth (oldest is 4.5)


----------



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My MIL still kisses my DH and his brothers on the lips. DH is 24, and his brothers are 26, 20, and 5.







I will probably still be kissing my kids on the lips when they are full-grown, too. Nothing wrong with it at all.


----------



## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

DH and I both still kiss our parents on the lips, and we kiss DS on the lips. DS also kisses extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) on the lips. But our family is very kissy. I still kiss my aunts/uncles/cousins on the lips too. It's just part of our hello and goodbye -- "Hi! <smooch> How are you?" or "It was nice <smooch> seeing you -- take care!"


----------



## Mighty Jalapeno (Oct 27, 2006)

I had thought it was wierd, until I saw pretty much everyone in DW's family doing that, so I figure it all depends on what you're comfortable with. I'm cutting back, partly because I'm still not 100% on the idea, and my son makes fom of my beard "killing his face".


----------



## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

Our girls are only 8.5 months so I do but dh is creeped out by it and thinks it is wrong so he doesn't. Growing up my parents kissed us on the lips. Not sure when they stopped...


----------



## molarmama (Dec 14, 2006)

We are lip kissers too. My husband and I kiss our parents on the lips too. I never thought that was weird.


----------



## WonderWild (May 13, 2004)

Dh & I kiss ds on the lips. I don't like it when he tries to give me long kisses though. I don't kiss my mom on the lips or anyone else (besides dh). I don't think dh kisses his mom on the lips although I've never really paid much attention.


----------



## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

My son is 5 1/2 and he call the lip kiss the "best part". I kiss all his parts before bed (goodnight head-kiss, good night eyes-kiss, good night chin-kiss, etc etc) and he insists on saving the "best for last" which is a big ole smooch on the kisser!


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I kiss all three of my kids on the lips, when they let me. DS1 never minds, ds2 intitiates them - he loves kisses. DD likes them sometimes, and sometimes not (like hugs, back scratches, and everything else...she's not...constant).

I'll quit if my kids become uncomfortable with them, but see no other reason to quit. I occasionally kiss mom on the lips, and occasionally kiss dad on the lips - dh kisses both his parents, but I _think_ he and his dad only kiss on the cheek..

Interesting thread topic - I'd never thought about this as an issue at all.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HollyBearsMom* 
My son is 5 1/2 and he call the lip kiss the "best part". I kiss all his parts before bed (goodnight head-kiss, good night eyes-kiss, good night chin-kiss, etc etc) and he insists on saving the "best for last" which is a big ole smooch on the kisser!

DS1 and I used to have a whole bunch of kisses at bedtime:
Butterfly kisses were when we blinked our eyelashes together.
Eskimo kisses were when we rubbed noses.
We rubbed foreheads, and ds1 had a name for that, but I can't remember!
Lip kisses were saved for last.









(We had a very complicated bedtime ritual, involving songs, the kiss sequence and a sequence of "nighty night, sleep tight" kind of stuff. It took quite a while!)


----------



## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)

Both DH and I still kiss DS on the lips.


----------



## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Dd has never liked being kissed on the lips, so of course we don't do it. She's not a big kisser at all, so we let her take the lead. If she wants to kiss us, she'll initiate it. She's more of a cuddly snuggler.







Ds will run at you and plant one on your lips when you have no idea it's coming, so we let him. I love it! He's got the sweetest little kisses.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Doodlebugsmom* 
Dd has never liked being kissed on the lips, so of course we don't do it. She's not a big kisser at all, so we let her take the lead. If she wants to kiss us, she'll initiate it. She's more of a cuddly snuggler.







Ds will run at you and plant one on your lips when you have no idea it's coming, so we let him. I love it! He's got the sweetest little kisses.









DS2 is a big kisser, too. He was nursing last night, and would break off and get up to give me big kiss, then give dh a big kiss, then nurse again, then do it all over again. It was a really cute (although going to sleep would have been cute, too).


----------



## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

DH still kisses his parents on the lips. It skeeves me out but I am the type of person that doesnt even like that social cheek kissing. I kiss DD (2) on the lips with no problems, DS (4) I dont really kiss on the lips anymore.


----------



## Village Mama (Jul 22, 2004)

I kissed my brother on the lips in public when I was a teenager... it got back to my long term bo at the time ... that I was seen kissing some man. I swore that it was my brother and he didn't belive me... and thought that that was disgusting! LOL. I forget that it is weird to some people. I am still surprised to see the lip kissing ending amongst young ones( especially boys) at such a young age.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoTwo* 
DH still kisses his parents on the lips. It skeeves me out but I am the type of person that doesnt even like that social cheek kissing.

I would rather have just about _anybody_ kiss me on the lips than endure the social cheek kissing. If any kind of kissing 'skeeves me out', it's that.


----------



## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I always kissed my kids on the lips when they were really little. At some point Ds decided that he didn't care for it so I stopped. He was around 8 maybe I would say. Dd is 13 and still kisses me on the lips. Ds is very affectionate to me, even at 15, he just prefers to have no one kiss his mouth. (Well, for now. I can imagine a pretty girl will change his mind at some point.







)

As long as a child's preferences are being respected I don't see the problem really.


----------



## Bad Mama Jama (May 29, 2005)

I kiss my dd on the lips. She turned 2 yesterday and I suppose we'll stop if and when she chooses to, but I always have. It's the sweetest to me when she's going to "school" for the day. Gotta get those kisses.


----------



## lafemmedesfemmes (Nov 16, 2003)

we're lip-kissers. ds is 2.

it's funny because i'm from a not very demonstrative family, while dh is. so it looked weird to me to see dh encouraging lip-kisses from ds, but i remembered dh's family and just went with the flow. now it looks totally natural to me, and i enjoy giving and receiving lip-kisses from ds. it's funny how ds will insist on "real" kisses from me-- he's not happy with just a kiss on the cheek.  no telling how long it will last, but we'll let ds take the lead.

christina


----------



## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Wow, post 48 and I am the first to say no.

I am with the OP's fiance. I don't kiss on the lips other than romantically. My girls are 10, 6 and 3. The 3 y.o. asks for lip kisses at bedtime but it just isn't in my comfort zone.

I grew up in a VERY physically affectionate family - we are huggers I tell you! And sit next to you. And hand on the shoulder when standing near your chair, etc. And kisses on the cheek or forehead. But not lip kisses. We just never did.


----------



## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I kiss my kids on the lips and still kiss my parents and grandparents on the lips.

The firsttime I ever heard of anyone not was on mdc a few months ago actually.


----------



## Jilian (Jun 16, 2003)

I kiss my DS on the lips and he's 4. Neither of us see anything wrong with it.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
The firsttime I ever heard of anyone not was on mdc a few months ago actually.

Ditto.


----------



## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

I kiss my dd on the lips. I would stop if she objected. My Dad still kisses me on the lips, and my Mom until she passed. I'm Italian, we're big on affection. Kissing on the lips is very common.


----------



## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Non-lip kisser here. Sorry but my first reaction to the thought of kissing my parents or any blood relation on the lips "Ewwwwwww!" DH has kissed DD on the lips the odd time. I suppose it's okay while she is still a baby but I don't think I will be able to keep my lunch down if he is still at it when she is 15.


----------



## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

lip kissers here too!


----------



## witchbaby (Apr 17, 2003)

we kiss on the lips here. k didn't like to kiss until she was well over 1 year old, whereas her brother thinks it's a hoot when i say "can you give mommy a kiss?" and gives me a big, tonguey wet one!








i'll keep kissing my kids wherever until they indicate it makes them uncomfortable-- i don't know when that would be, as we're a very affectionate bunch of people.
i still kiss both my parents on the lips. usually my mom, but sometimes my dad, too.


----------



## annamama (Sep 23, 2005)

We all kiss ds on the lips, and whenever he wants to kiss a new (to him) person, he gets really confused to be offered the cheek!
MIL kisses my DH and me on the lips and I really dislike it. Guess I'm strictly a lip kisser for DH and DS!


----------



## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

Most of our friends are very huggy and kissy - I have a lot of friends that get a kiss on the lips when I see them. At Christmastime I was saying goodbye to my sister and wasn't thinking and gave her a kiss on the lips! oops. She thought it was weird and said so! (Ew! You kissed me ON THE LIPS!)

My family is a cheek-kissing family, although when we were small we kissed on the lips.


----------



## amandacj08 (Jan 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
I kiss my kids on the lips and still kiss my parents and grandparents on the lips.

Same here. Shoot, in my family you even get kisses on the lips from aunts, uncles, cousins.... We are mostly Italian, too.


----------



## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Maybe because all my family, friends, and in laws kiss on the lips.


----------



## fishface (Jan 6, 2007)

No kids here, but I'm 23 and still kiss my parents on the lips. Of course I had that "I'm too cool" stage in junior high and would freak out, but I grew up.


----------



## Throkmorton (Jun 30, 2003)

I still kiss my parents on the lips too.


----------



## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cmlp* 
Non-lip kisser here. Sorry but my first reaction to the thought of kissing my parents or any blood relation on the lips "Ewwwwwww!" DH has kissed DD on the lips the odd time. I suppose it's okay while she is still a baby but I don't think I will be able to keep my lunch down if he is still at it when she is 15.









It's interesting to see this reaction. My mom drove us to the airport after we visited her for the holidays, and since it was just DS and I, she came in to help me in line while I checked my bags, then we said goodbye in the security line. We kissed goodbye, as we always do. I wonder if it made people around us uncomfortable!

It really never occurred to me that people might have a negative reaction to seeing family members give each other a peck on the lips -- it's no big deal if it's not something you're comfortable with doing yourself, but I guess I don't understand why it's "skeevy" or "eww" to see someone else do it.


----------



## beckyand3littlemonsters (Sep 16, 2006)

*we kiss our lo's on the lips thats how they ask , more often than not cameron will get you to kiss his head but will sometimes will plant a wet snotty kiss on me caitlin likes to make kissy noises if she wants a kiss and will cover your face in dribble , bless her







chloe always asks for kiss on lips*


----------



## Mamma Christi (Dec 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *limabean* 
It's interesting to see this reaction. My mom drove us to the airport after we visited her for the holidays, and since it was just DS and I, she came in to help me in line while I checked my bags, then we said goodbye in the security line. We kissed goodbye, as we always do. I wonder if it made people around us uncomfortable!

It really never occurred to me that people might have a negative reaction to seeing family members give each other a peck on the lips -- it's no big deal if it's not something you're comfortable with doing yourself, but I guess I don't understand why it's "skeevy" or "eww" to see someone else do it.

I think that it'd be different if I saw it and it seemed to go on too long - you know what I mean? But a quick peck? I don't see why it's such an ordeal. DH basically thinks it's disgusting.


----------



## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

As adults, we are either huggers or cheek kissers, I don't kiss my kids on the lips, it just feels weird to me, but I kiss them everywhere else I guess.


----------



## goosysmom (May 28, 2005)

with dd we are lip kissers...it's how she prefers it and then she says "ALL OVER" and wants kisses on her nose, brows, eyes, chin etc....and giggles like mad...

mom was the same way with us and then as I got older it's mainly cheek kissing now...


----------



## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fishface* 
No kids here, but I'm 23 and still kiss my parents on the lips. l

I'm 32 and still call them "Mommy" and "Daddy".


----------



## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

I kiss my kids on the lips and probably will until they show discomfort with it or say something about it.

My family is very lip kissy. I was uncomfortable about it for YEARS but it was considered wierd that I wouldn't. I managed to get my family to stop kissing me on the lips about 10 years ago, by ducking to the side for a sort of french hug/kiss. You can see that it still wierds my parents (all three of them) out a bit but they never have said anything about it.


----------



## lanielayne (Jun 13, 2005)

Dh and I kiss our kids on the lips and will until they are not comfortable with it anymore. My parents and I stopped when I was becoming a teen. My grandmother and grandfather will try to kiss me on the lips and I try to avoid it but sometimes I just don't get to! Dh's family are huggers.


----------



## woobysma (Apr 20, 2004)

We're lip kissers with DS2 (2.5) - but DS1 (9) decided on cheek kisses at some point.... don't remember when....


----------



## lisac77 (May 27, 2005)

I still kiss my parents on the lips... DS prefers kissing both me and DH on the lips. So yeah, we're lip kissers!


----------



## jrcronewillis (Jul 29, 2006)

Big kissers here. The best is when DS, 4, asks to kiss like the people getting married do. He means a big ole long smooch. It's fabulous!

Juliette


----------



## OkieMama2three (Oct 23, 2006)

I grew up a cheek kisser and for the most part that is what we do w/our LOs. MIL will occasionally give me goodbye kisses on the lips, but it just seems odd to me.


----------



## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

ok i kiss my kids on the lips also family my uncle still kisses me on the lips and my brother also my mother I dont see anything wrong with it there is nothing wrong with doing it


----------



## melissa1 (Feb 2, 2006)

Are any of you that get cold sores worried about passing them to your child?
I know you can pass the the virus without having a sore. My son is is 5 months old and I kiss him a lot but not on the lips only because I am so scared that I will pass the virus.


----------



## mamadeb (Sep 22, 2006)

I think it's totally fine to kiss on the lips. I will kiss DD when she's not a drooling NB. I was always kissed on the lips (so were my bro and sis) and we continue that today. My brother never stopped kissing my parents either. Guess it all depends on your family culture.


----------



## mcng (Oct 17, 2006)

we are a very huggie kissie family but not on the lips but I see nothing wrong whith the people that do


----------



## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I don't kiss the kids on the lips. I don't kiss my parents on the lips. My lip-kissin' is for dh. The kids get cheek and head.


----------



## lifescholar (Nov 26, 2006)

This is so interesting!









I kiss my son (18 months) on the lips. I'll continue to do so until he doesn't want me to anymore!

I don't have any communicable diseases, so that's never been a concern....

I don't kiss anyone else on the lips, so I guess he's my only chance to do it! lol


----------



## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

This is a bizarre thing, imo. I still kiss my parents on the lips. I kiss my IL's on the lips. Seems normal to me, seems to be normal to them as well. And it's deinitely not an are thing, since I'm from W. PA and dh is from the Philly area.

I kiss my kids on the lips and ds1 always kisses me on the lips if I ask for a hug. (he's not spontaneous, never has been.)


----------



## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

Oh, my sister and I will also hold hands sometimes when we're walking around and talking. I really don't see the big deal. People are SO weird, imo, with teir hangups about touching the people you love if they're not your sexual partner.


----------



## frogguruami (Sep 21, 2004)

My kids are kissed and kiss on the lips. In fact my youngest refuses to do it any other way. I don't see a problem with it at all. They are 5 and 7 BTW>

AM


----------



## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

*`So how many of you kiss your children on the lips?* Yes. It never occured to me not to.
*`For those of you who do, when did you start and would you ever feel that they were too old for this and stop?* I don't know when I started - very early, I guess. I haven't stopped yet with any of my kids. DS is almost 6. I guess I'll stop when they decide they don't want to.


----------



## snowyowl (Dec 27, 2006)

No lip kissing here. My daughter's cheek, forehead, top of the head, and nose are all fair game though.

I'm not a big social kisser in general and I hate it when people other than my husband try to kiss me on the lips. Visiting my in-laws is an ordeal for me because I practically give myself whiplash trying to avoid their big smoochy kisses. Ick.

Who other people kiss is totally their own business and I have no problem with it at all. I do wish that the kissers in my family would show a bit more respect for the non-kissers. We've also had some problems with family members who think they are "owed" a kiss from our daughter just because they are family. As far as I'm concerned, she should only kiss someone because she wants to, not because someone tells her it's a nice thing to do.


----------



## wemoon (Aug 31, 2002)

We kiss on the lips and do it anytime we are parting. So if I'm dropping them off for school, I ask "Where's my kiss?!"


----------



## vermonttaylors (May 17, 2005)

We kiss on the lips, cheek, belly, elbow, basically any available sking that is holding still.









I still kiss my father on the lips as well as mom and her partner (known as mom#2) and quite a few good friends both male and female. I see no problem with it and fully expect any family memebr to kiss my kids on the lips if they want. Nobody in this fam forces kisses on anyone. If the kids don't want to kiss, that's fine, but they seem to love it. Big, wet sloppy kisses are the norm around here.


----------



## jdedmom (Jul 11, 2006)

We kiss on the lips. My DH plays this game with the kids where when the go for a kiss he will move his lips around to avoid theirs and tell them they missed, try again. On occasion our children have held him still by gripping his lips with their fingers (and nails).







Everyone involved enjoys the game.

I personally kiss male family members on the lips more; my uncle, brother, grandfather and FIL. I kiss most of the women on the cheek I guess mostly because the women wear lipstick.


----------



## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

We let our 2yo kiss us on the lips if he wants to, but when we kiss him it's on his cheek, head, etc. There are two reasons:

1. We were not lip-kissed by our parents, so it doesn't come naturally to us. We don't think it's warped or anything; we just feel it's unnecessary when there are plenty of other ways to show parental affection.

2. We don't want our son to get too used to casual lip-kissing because it's a way to contract oral herpes, which is very common in the U.S. There are people who think that because "everybody" has it, it's not a big deal to spread this incurable virus. We don't have it and don't want it and don't want our son to get it unless he's old enough to take the risk knowingly.


----------



## crazydiamond (May 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten* 
Wow, post 48 and I am the first to say no.

I am with the OP's fiance. I don't kiss on the lips other than romantically. My girls are 10, 6 and 3. The 3 y.o. asks for lip kisses at bedtime but it just isn't in my comfort zone.

I grew up in a VERY physically affectionate family - we are huggers I tell you! And sit next to you. And hand on the shoulder when standing near your chair, etc. And kisses on the cheek or forehead. But not lip kisses. We just never did.

I'm right there with you. DH is the only person I lip-kiss and I've only ever done it romantically.

But I did come from a very touchy-feely family so it's not like the lack of lip-kissing indicated anything deeper. We're big on hugs and kisses to the cheek, forehead, nose, etc.

MIL kissed DD on the lips and I practically freaked out. She got pretty offended when I told her not to, but I don't want her passing on her cold to DD and in general, its just "eewww" to me.


----------



## Nankay (Jan 24, 2002)

We lip kiss hello and goodbye and goodnight around here. I'm 40, dh is 42 and dd is 11 and ds is 8. We kiss our parents (and grandparents when they were still alive) too.
DS has begun offering his head for a kiss, but dd is a lipper.


----------



## Amari's Mama (Dec 18, 2005)

I kiss DD on the lips. She's 2.5 yo. She won't accept any other kind of kiss from me or daddy. From the grandparents, she likes hugs better. We'll stop when DD feels uncomfortable, if that day ever comes.

My mom and dad did not kiss me on the lips, that I can remember. Not sure why I started with DD, other than it was instinctual for me personally.

I think that it only gets weird if you plant that thought in the head of the child. It's a cultural thing.


----------



## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

My kids are 14, 11, 8, 3, and 21mo. I kiss every one of them on the lips. I also kiss my mom and step dad on the lips and dh kisses his parents on the lips. I've never even thought about it before really.


----------



## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

DH is the only person I kiss on the lips. I kiss my dd elsewhere. (cheeks, head, hands, belly mostly)


----------



## wasabi (Oct 12, 2004)

Yes we're lip kissers in large part because the girls give us lip kisses so we have no choice.







If/when they get uncomfortable with it then we'll stop. SFIL always gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek when he says hello or goodbye to me but the rest of the ILs are not very touchy feely. My dad still gives me quicky pecks on the lip but otherwise we're cheek kissers and bit time huggers. I don't know it's just not a big deal to me. We still bathe with the girls too which would probably freak both our families out. There's just nothing romantic about a quick peck on the lips between a parent and child. I can understand it not being in your personal comfort zone but to actually be grossed out by someone else doing it is kind of insulting to them imho. It's like you're assuming there must be something illicit about a perfectly innocent expression of affection.


----------



## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Big Ol' lip kissin' family here! I plan on always kissing my DS's on the lips unless they ever seem uncomfortable than of course we won't anymore.


----------



## mamapajama (Feb 9, 2003)

I kiss my whole family on the lips, including my parents and my kids and uncles, aunts etc. That's just the way we've always done it.


----------



## KaraBoo (Nov 22, 2001)

Lip kissed with oldest dd but not youngest because she doesn't like it. She immediately offers her cheek. She says she doesn't like her lips wet LOL

My first husband was from an Italian American family and they all kissed each other on the lips, men included, in case you were wondering. It took some getting used to. But after a while, it was no big deal.


----------



## DoctorGirlfriend (Dec 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wendy1221* 
Oh, my sister and I will also hold hands sometimes when we're walking around and talking. I really don't see the big deal. People are SO weird, imo, with teir hangups about touching the people you love if they're not your sexual partner.









People having different comfort levels with personal contact doesn't equate having "hangups," though. My own little German Midwestern family is pretty reserved, and I myself am pretty fond of maintaining my personal space. That's just me, though, and I recognize that. And I certainly wouldn't think you were weird or wrong to have the intense contact you have with your family.


----------



## Inci (Apr 22, 2005)

I don't have children yet, but I grew up kissing my parents on the lips, and still do. I also kiss my baby niece on the lips, my aunt, some of my female friends...
And having worked with young children for over a decade, I've received too many lip kisses from them to count!
I'm a very affectionate person and was raised in a very affectionate family. I think lip kisses are great, as long as both parties are comfortable with it. When I'm taking care of young children, I don't initiate lip kisses, but let them kiss me when they do. Sometimes parents will encourage their children to hug/kiss me goodbye, and really prod them when they're resistent... to which I always say, "That's okay if s/he doesn't want to!" and maybe we just blow kisses instead.


----------



## williamsmommy2002 (Feb 25, 2003)

I kiss both of my boys on the lips. My husband does as well. My oldest has autism and doesn't always like to be kissed so we respect that. My youngest insists that we kiss on the lips and not anywhere else.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

I kiss my son on the lips all the time, sometimes a little peck and sometimes a good 3-second smooch. How could I resist that breastmilk breath smell?









I imagine I will stop when he becomes uncomfortable with it or if I do.


----------



## KayasMama04 (Feb 4, 2006)

`So how many of you kiss your children on the lips? I do
`For those of you who do, when did you start and would you ever feel that they were too old for this and stop? I don't know when we will stop probably when it becomes akward.


----------



## Mommy Piadosa (Jul 4, 2005)

my almost 15 yo ds kisses me on the lips- as do all my kiddos!


----------



## Sarahbunny (Jun 13, 2006)

I kiss my mom on the cheek now, but I used to kiss her on the lips. It's no big deal to me. And dd is only 3 1/2 months old, but i don't kiss her on the lips right now - she spits up all the time and quite unpredictably, I don't want to drink her formula!







When she is older, i imagine I will though.

OT: DH's grandpa kisses ME on the lips.







I hate it, but he is relentless. I have tried turning my head, but he grabs your face and turns it back. he doesn't mean anything by it, but I don't like it. Plus...he is like a sneaky kisser. All of a sudden I will turn my head and he will have snuck up behind me and SMACK. Sigh.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

Quote:

Are any of you that get cold sores worried about passing them to your child?
I know you can pass the the virus without having a sore. My son is is 5 months old and I kiss him a lot but not on the lips only because I am so scared that I will pass the virus.
I only get cold sores when I'm ill, but no, I don't worry about passing it on. Why? Because they are just cold sores. It's not a dehabilitating, life-altering, life-endangering virus. It's a virus that the vast majority of our population has, and it's only cause is a little mouth sore that goes away in a few days and doesn't hurt if you have a good supply of orajel. I don't slobber on him when we're sick either. The chances of passing it on when you don't have a cold sore are a lot smaller than when you do.


----------



## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Quote:

I only get cold sores when I'm ill, but no, I don't worry about passing it on. Why? Because they are just cold sores. It's not a dehabilitating, life-altering, life-endangering virus. It's a virus that the vast majority of our population has, and it's only cause is a little mouth sore that goes away in a few days and doesn't hurt if you have a good supply of orajel.
Herpes virus is a leading cause of blindness in the United States.
Up to 36% of patients develop meningitis during their first herpes outbreak.
A person with oral herpes can transmit it during oral sex, causing genital herpes in the partner. Genital herpes is more painful and can complicate pregnancy.
2,000 Americans per year get herpes encephalitis, and only 38% of them regain normal functioning.

So it can be more than just a little cold sore.

Even if it was, the idea of breaking out in mouth sores when you're already sick is not very appealing. I guess you could get used to it. But I'd rather not.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

From the site you posted:

Quote:

Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) is usually associated with infections of the lips, mouth, and face. It is the most common herpes simplex virus and is usually acquired in childhood. HSV-1 often causes lesions inside the mouth such as cold sores (fever blisters) and is transmitted by contact with infected saliva. By adulthood, up to 90% of individuals will have antibodies to HSV-1.
Herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) is sexually transmitted. Symptoms include genital ulcers or sores. *In addition to oral and genital lesions*, the virus can also lead to complications such as meningoencephalitis (infection of the lining of the brain and the brain itself) or cause infection of the eye -- in particular the conjunctiva, and cornea. However, some people have HSV-2 but do not display symptoms. Up to 30% of U.S. adults have antibodies against HSV-2. Cross-infection of type 1 and 2 viruses may occur from oral-genital contact.
Herpes simplex type I, which I was diagnosed with as a child, is quite different from and does not cause oral or genital herpes which are caused by herpes simplex type 2. Type I does not cause full blown mouth sores or ulcers, which are very different from cold sores (called so because they often appear during colds or when one has a fever), and is not an STD. Cold sores are very tiny and appear on the lips, usually in the corner, and aren't that entirely painful, just mildly annoying. Usually only one appears, not an entire breakout as with oral herpes, and most cases are mild. Having been afflicted with cold sores that occasionally appear when I am ill since I was perhaps 8, I know plenty about it and, again, am not extremely worried about it.

I contracted it from a water fountain, and my son could catch it the same way. You can't make sure a child never eats or drinks after you. You will swap germs and fluids at some point regardless of how careful you are. Considering all of that, I am not going to refrain from a harmless bonding ritual that my child enjoys and displaying my affection in the way I chose over the slim chance that he could contract herpes simplex from my kiss the same as he could from accidently drinking from my glass or drinking from the wrong water fountain. True oral herpes isn't contracted that way. Type I doesn't scare me enough to become hypervigilant, especially considering it is so easy to contract and so minimally harmful in most cases. It's like being afraid of a cold or vaccinating against chickenpox.

Type I rarely, if ever, causes any complications; it is type 2 that can cause blindness. Type I is mistakingly referred to as oral herpes, while Type 2 is always called genital herpes. The truth is that type 2 is the STD and can be either genital or oral depending on how & where a person is infected; if you put a penis that has genital herpes into your mouth, you can get oral herpes. Type I is often falsely accused of being the cause of complications actually associated with Type 2 oral herpes. See the bolded portion of the quote for verification.

Quote:

HSV-1 infection is generally referred to as "fever blisters" or "cold sores." About 75% of HSV-1 lesions occur above the waistline. Between 40% and 50% of the US population is infected with HSV-1, and most infections are spread during the initial, subclinical phase (6).

Recurrent herpes labialis is a common problem, affecting 20% of the adult population in the United States (7). In HSV-1 recurrence, the prodromal symptoms may last from 2 to 24 hours, and new lesions appear over 1 to 2 days. The vesicles rapidly become pustules, which usually become crusty within 48 hours. Viral shedding occurs over 3 to 5 days. The lesions last 2 to 10 days and heal without scarring (5).
http://www.postgradmed.com/issues/20...0/nadelman.htm
Another page of one of the sites you posted. As you can see...two different conditions. The other page may have simply been a typo. Seriousness depends on the strain you have, your immunological health, etc.

If you don't want to kiss your child on the mouth because of type I, which your child could pick up just by holding hands with someone and then putting his hand in his mouth, fine, but don't insinuate that I am going to cause my child to go blind by doing it or that I am unnecessarily putting him into an extreme amount of danger by giving him a kiss when I'm in perfect health.

Then again, perhaps those randomly googled website are right, and the various doctors I've seen for the past 13 years are just idiots. My sex ed teacher, who was the first one to explain the differences and myths to me in great detail, must have been misinformed as well. It's funny how we are so trusting of random people who have made websites that come up when randomly Googled, but not of doctors telling us to quit BFing at 12 months or to vax or kids because they'll die of smallpox if we don't. MDC moms should know more than anyone that doctors are quite capable of perpetuating myths and rumors and making mistakes, as are most people. I think my doctors would have warned me if I was in danger of going blind and told me 1) not to ever kiss anyone on the mouth and 2) never to have oral sex because I might pass on a dangerous virus that causes meningitis and genital herpes. You know how they love scaremongering.


----------



## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

We're big lip kissers.

So is my family, so is DH's. Both of us kiss our parents on the lips. Well, I don't kiss my dad, he's kind of a stiffy army guy, but he kisses me on the cheek.

My father kisses DS on the lips though.









I hope to always be intimate and comfortable with our DS - that he will never think anything of it, other than, "these are the people closest to me, and kissing is a sign of affection."

DS kisses DH on the lips. Big wet tongey ones.
DH loves it. Its his son, theres nothing sexual or romantic about it - it's his loving, sweet little boy.


----------



## RedWine (Sep 26, 2003)

my first response to this was .. Ew! My mother still tries to kiss me on the lips. I have never liked it, and I do my best to avoid it. Yuck.

I know dd1 would hate it if I tried to do that to her. And because of my mother's insistence to to this to me, I certainly don't want to do this to dd1.

Dd2, on the other hand (22 months old), is a BIG on-the-mouth kisser. With her, I don't mind -- it's very cute. She comes at me with a big, open-mouth, huge grin face and smacks one right on me.


----------



## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Moonfirefaery, I don't mean any offense to you personally. It's not your fault you have this disease. And the decision about whether or not to expose your child to it is yours to make. My concern is that you're downplaying the risks of the disease in order to feel 100% justified in exposing your child. I would like everyone to be able to make an informed decision about it.

Quote:

Herpes simplex type I, which I was diagnosed with as a child, is quite different from and does not cause oral or genital herpes which are caused by herpes simplex type 2.
You quoted some Websites, but what you quoted does NOT say that Type 1 does not cause herpes or even that it causes only oral herpes. In fact, the specific page to which you linked says: *HSV-1 has been found in genital lesions, and HSV-2 has been found in oral lesions.* and lists many serious complications in the section on Type 1. The second quote you posted says, "About 75% of HSV-1 lesions occur above the waistline."--where do you think the other 25% are?

You're right that the two viruses are different and that Type 1 is less serious than Type 2. But that doesn't mean Type 1 is nothing.

Quote:

My sex ed teacher, who was the first one to explain the differences and myths to me in great detail, must have been misinformed as well. It's funny how we are so trusting of random people who have made websites that come up when randomly Googled, but not of doctors telling us to quit BFing at 12 months or to vax or kids because they'll die of smallpox if we don't. MDC moms should know more than anyone that doctors are quite capable of perpetuating myths and rumors and making mistakes, as are most people. I think my doctors would have warned me if I was in danger of going blind and told me 1) not to ever kiss anyone on the mouth and 2) never to have oral sex because I might pass on a dangerous virus that causes meningitis and genital herpes. You know how they love scaremongering.
The sites I posted are the first ones I found in this search, but they correspond to everything I have learned about herpes from books, sex ed programs, doctors, newspapers, magazines, and the research I did when I had a boyfriend with genital herpes. So perhaps you have had doctors and teachers who perpetuated myths and rumors and made mistakes. The information on herpes I have encountered all my life is similar to this, from the research site at Stanford University that was the second link I posted: *It is now known that both strains of the virus commonly affect the genital area, and can be passed on through genital-genital sex and through oral-genital sex. This means that a cold sore on someone's lip can transmit the herpes virus to someone else's genitals.* and the advice on safety practices given by the National Institutes of Health in the first link I posted.

My parents taught me that lip-kissing is something not to be done casually. I think that's a fine belief to teach to my child. There are many diseases in addition to herpes that are transmitted more easily by lip-to-lip contact than by hugging, holding hands, etc.

There are other germ-avoidance precautions that I choose not to take. I am not calling you a bad mother for kissing your child with infected lips. Just please don't tell everyone it's not a serious disease because you have been lucky with it so far, and please read the information with an open mind.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

Quote:

HSV-1 has been found in genital lesions, and HSV-2 has been found in oral lesions.
That is because of cross contamination, not because one causes the other.

Quote:

and lists many serious complications in the section on Type 1.
As I said before, Type 1 is often falsely accused of causing the complications that Type 2 is more likely to cause. Type 1 causes cold sores, not full-blown mouth ulcers or genital sores.

Quote:

"About 75% of HSV-1 lesions occur above the waistline."--where do you think the other 25% are?
Those lesions may contain HSV-1 but are not necessarily caused by it. If a person with HSV-2 is exposed to HSV-1, he is going to have both viruses in his fever blisters and his ulcers. Can you find me a photograph of a person with a coldsore on his penis?

Quote:

The sites I posted are the first ones I found in this search, but they correspond to everything I have learned about herpes from books, sex ed programs, doctors, newspapers, magazines, and the research I did when I had a boyfriend with genital herpes
Genital herpes has little to do with HSV-1. While HSV-1 is an oral form of herpes, it is not the STD oral herpes that is known to cause serious complications regardless of what mistakes people make. I have been living with this for 13 years and, as I said, get a cold sore maybe once a year and have yet to infect anyone that I know of. I have done lots of research and what I have learned from the doctors who actually attended me is a little bit different than what you are preaching.

Quote:

It is now known that both strains of the virus commonly affect the genital area,
No, it is known that the virus stands are found in both areas, because of cross-contamination where people with one type are then exposed to the second type.

Quote:

and can be passed on through genital-genital sex and through oral-genital sex. This means that a cold sore on someone's lip can transmit the herpes virus to someone else's genitals.
If they have the lesions already on their genitals, yes, they can get HSV-1 virus in them. That doesn't mean that HSV-1 causes HSV-2 or vice versa. People don't get fever blisters on the penis. In order to pass on HSV-1 or any virus the fluid must get into a person's system, which happens when someone ingests saliva or other fluids containing the virus or when open wounds or lesions are exposed to the virus.

Quote:

My parents taught me that lip-kissing is something not to be done casually. I think that's a fine belief to teach to my child. There are many diseases in addition to herpes that are transmitted more easily by lip-to-lip contact than by hugging, holding hands, etc.
That's fine for you. I don't have anything against your choices. My problem is that you are mistakingly accusing me of exposing my child to a dangerous illness and downplaying its effects when I am not. Again, if I were in danger of becoming blind or causing my son to have genital lesions, doctors would have warned me LONG ago about those risks and instructed me not to kiss anyone or perform oral sex on anyone.

Quote:

Just please don't tell everyone it's not a serious disease because you have been lucky with it so far, and please read the information with an open mind.
Please don't tell everyone it IS a serious illness because of what you've read on a few Google sites and in magazines. That's like someone reading that OMG breastmilk is bad after the age of one, and then reading it again in a magazin and online a few times and hearing it from a doctor, and then going around telling everyone that. Obviously we each have evidence supporting our claims, and neither of us thus far has proven each other completely right or wrong because of all the conflicting information out there. Let people make up their own minds.


----------



## Bartock (Feb 2, 2006)

We kiss our kids on the lips, I mean there are OUR kids, no reason we shouldn't. Now DS1 6 next month, really does not want hugs and kisses from dad anymore, unless he wants to, must be at that age where kissing and hugging dad is un-cool or what ever they think about it. Me he still does and the 16mo, well ask him for a kiss and you get one, or he will just give us one.


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

My son is 2 years old (this month) and we kiss on the lips all the time. I'll kiss the top of his head and his cheeks and his neck and his chest, but if he wants to kiss me he always goes for the lips. Sometimes while we're lying in bed and he's nursing he'll pop off, lean up and kiss me on the lips a dozen or so times.







before going back to nursing. I have to turn away though when he tries to open mouth kiss me, mainly because his slobber doesn't taste very good.







I see nothing wrong with kissing on the lips.

He's my SON, if anyone infers anything sexual about him kissing me 10 times in a row thats THEIR dirty mind. Not mine!


----------



## CrazyCatLady (Aug 17, 2004)

My dd is 28 months old.

When I kiss Zayla, I kiss her on the cheeks because I love her squishy cheeks.

But sometimes she does what I refer to as "making out" with me. She sits on my lap and faces me, presses her nose into mine, and then continues to kiss me (usually a bunch of pecks) until she's tired of it. She seems to do this often when she's sleepy.

I never set time limits on these sorts of things. When it bugs her (and that day will come soon enough) then that will be the day we stop kissing each other on the lips.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

I love squishy cheeks too!!!


----------



## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

We lip kiss but I most often cheek, forehead, nose, head kiss, my children. DH's family are all lip-kissers. DH, aged 37, kisses his dad, brothers and even some of his guy-friends on the lips. His family and friends are always trying to lip-kiss me, but I've pretty much perfected the "slip them the cheek" technique.









One thing that made me rethink lip kissing a little (especially adult-child) is something I read in the Dental forum on MDC...about some super-bacteria that is passed through kissing and that is especially destructive to teeth, though I don't recall which one it is. So I try to make sure that only very dry kisses are exchanged but yes, I definitely kiss my children's sweet lips when they want, but mostly I kiss other parts of their adorable faces and usually 20 or 30 kisses at a time.


----------



## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

We are a family of lip kissers.







We kiss both of our kids on their lips. If I kiss DD on the head or something, she'll say, "No Mom, give me a REAL kiss!"







I've always kissed both my parents on the lips, never thought twice about it.


----------



## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *homeschoolmama* 
We are a family of lip kissers.







We kiss both of our kids on their lips. If I kiss DD on the head or something, she'll say, "No Mom, give me a REAL kiss!"







I've always kissed both my parents on the lips, never thought twice about it.









We are too!!!!


----------



## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I kiss my parents on the lips.

We give lip kisses with dd.

FIL was a little uncomfortable with lip kisses at first but he soon discovered that dd would lick his face if he offered a cheek instead.







No cheeks for her! Either it's a real kiss or they get a lick.


----------



## Ubelle (Nov 3, 2006)

Hmmm it's interesting to see the differences in comfot levels and the whole kissing thing. I see a whole variety in my family alone. I've always assumed it was up to the two individuals invloled and their comfort levels.

I have always given my dad lip kisses and still do, I'm 30.
I kiss my mom on the cheek more often than the lips, no clue why though








And I usually try for a cheek kiss on my sister - but that's because she's still a wet kisser and it bugs me.

My IL's do the cheek kiss thing, which I had never been exposed to before, but now they hug too (I am a big hugger) I have never seen my MIL kiss DH much only when we say goodby and it's just a cheek kiss if she does. FIL doesn't kiss.

I assume we will kiss our kids however we feel comfortable, and continue until they indicate a change.

A little different but we have really good friends whose DS still gives me kisses and they have been lip kisses and still were last time we saw him, I often try to get him to aim for a cheek cause he thinks it's funny to give very wet kisses - at least he's stopped trying to lick people


----------



## trinity6232000 (Dec 2, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
I kiss my parents on the lips.

We give lip kisses with dd.

FIL was a little uncomfortable with lip kisses at first but he soon discovered that dd would lick his face if he offered a cheek instead.







No cheeks for her! Either it's a real kiss or they get a lick.

















My dd still does this occasionally, and she's 6 now. We're also big mouth
kissers here in my home. It's how I grew up, lip kiss my whole family. SMOOCH!


----------



## LilMama23 (Jul 8, 2005)

My DF kisses his whole family on the lips still - I grew up in a house where you never kiss anyone on the lips. Right now I kiss DD on the lips (13 mos) but I can see that stopping soon. It's just not something I'm comfortable with because I didn't grow up that way.


----------



## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

The International Herpes Alliance says both strains of herpes virus can cause oral or genital herpes.
So does the Centers for Disease Control.
So does the American Academy of Dermatology.
So does the New Zealand Dermatological Society, which says that 30-40% of genital herpes cases are caused by HSV-1.
So does Planned Parenthood.
So does WebMD.
So does this hospital's site, and it specifically addresses the DISPROVEN belief that Type 1 does not cause genital herpes.
I am posting these links to demonstrate that this information is widely available from respected health authorities. It is not something I have read only a few times or only in cheezy magazines.

I encourage everyone to read these links AND any that Moonfirefaery may post to support her claims, and decide for yourself how that influences your behavior and the habits you teach your child.

Moonfirefaery wrote:

Quote:

I have been living with this for 13 years and, as I said, get a cold sore maybe once a year and have yet to infect anyone that I know of.
My child has been fully vaccinated and has never shown any side effects. That doesn't mean vaccines are 100% safe and no big deal, nor does it mean that a mother who tells me, "I decided not to vaccinate my child because of the risk of autism," is misinformed.

Quote:

Again, if I were in danger of becoming blind or causing my son to have genital lesions, doctors would have warned me LONG ago about those risks and instructed me not to kiss anyone or perform oral sex on anyone.
Do you also believe that if there had been any danger of your child becoming blind, retarded, or dead from vaccinations, doctors would have warned you about those risks and instructed you not to vaccinate? Do you believe that if tampons were tainted with carcinogens and could cause a fatal illness, doctors would have warned you about those risks and instructed you not to use them? Doctors withhold information sometimes, or are lazy about giving it out, for a whole variety of reasons.

One reason is that doctors, like anybody else, prefer to believe that they are normal and their own choices are good enough. That's why doctors who are circumcised, don't bother with organic food, use tampons, vaccinate their own kids, etc. are more likely to recommend these things and downplay any concerns raised by their patients.

It's really quite terrifying. That's why it's so important to do research rather than believing everything your doctors tell you. You said you have done some research, and I believe you...but after doing some more research myself, I can't find anything that supports your claim. I did findthis support group which portrays herpes as a normal adult condition...but also notes that HALF of new genital herpes cases in the UK are caused by HSV-1.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

Why don't you see what WebMD and other hospitals sites have to say about vaccinations and their side effects? They don't give you much information about that usually, because vaccinations are on their agenda. They do, however, give you a lot of scary information about how unvaxed children die of polio all the time. It's called scare tactics. Vaccinations are part of defensive medicine, which is mainly to protect doctors from lawsuits. I think warning me to be hypervigilant if it was necessary would be considered defensive medicine too, and doctors love that. Why don't you lookup what dentists have to say about breastfeeding? Yet we all know that is a load of crap. That something is published on the internet or that beliefs are perpetuated by doctors doesn't mean that they are true. Medical professionals spew loads of misinformation about breastfeeding and vaccinations because they get paid to promote vaccinations and formula, also because promoting vaccinations and C-sections and whatnot helps them protect themselves. Likewise they get paid to promote other medications, even those that treat herpes, so of course they are going to exaggerate the side effects. Telling me that I should vaccinate because they are completely safe and telling me that kissing my spouse and son and performing oral sex on my husband won't infect them with genital herpes, being that I myself occasionally get a fever blister, are two completely different statements. A doctor has plenty to gain by one but not the other, so why would he lie? Why wouldn't a doctor let me know if my lips were so dangerous that giving someone a kiss would make them go blind?

Quote:

That's why it's so important to do research rather than believing everything your doctors tell you. You said you have done some research, and I believe you...but after doing some more research myself, I can't find anything that supports your claim.
It's statements like this that are the reason I rarely keep up debates on here. You have indirectly judged me, accused me, and condescended towards me throughout this entire thread. I won't be put up with being told that because I don't agree with you I must believe everything my doctors tell you and that I must have done -some- research. I've been afflicted since I was 7 or 8. I really don't care how much you've read on the internet. My own experiences, doctors advice, and research that has been ongoing for probably a LOT longer than you've been doing research means a whole lot more to me. I'm not going to assume that my sex education teachers, various doctors, and my own research is invalid because you have a few web links supporting your claims. Telling me about my condition is like preaching to a Cancer patient about their cancer. You can continue to insinuate what you like about the dangers I'm inflicting upon my child, but I think I'll trust my own instincts on this one.

http://www.medterms.com/script/main/...rticlekey=3731
http://www.hmc.psu.edu/healthinfo/h/herpes.htm
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/inf...in/herpes.html
http://www.dermnetnz.org/viral/herpes-simplex.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/col...358/DSECTION=3
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/health...old_sores.html

I'm finding a lot that states genital herpes is usually caused by HSV-2 and that it isn't spread by kissing, but by direct genital contact with someone who has herpes. I don't see any information suggesting that giving someone a kiss on the mouth with or without a fever blister can cause them to have genital lesions, only that performing oral sex can. They also state that coldsores are spread by contact with someone with an active feverblister and that most people infected as kids only get fever blisters occasionally throughout life. They also encourage those with genital outbreaks and HSV-2 oral outbreaks to take special precautions all the time, but instruct those with HSV-1 coldsores to just be careful during outbreaks. Even the sites you posted states that the worst complications are associated with HSV-2.

Quote:

Although HSV-1 isn't a big deal, it's a good idea to try to keep cold sores as far away as possible.
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/health...old_sores.html

Maybe you should write KidsHealth about their downplaying the dangers of coldsores.

Quote:

The odds of transmission during any particular exposure when he isn't having an outbreak is low. But it isn't zero.
Remember that genital HSV-1 usually doesn't cause recurrent herpes
But knowing what I know about the disease, if I were you I wouldn't change my sexual practices at all, except to avoid oral exposure if/when he has future outbreaks of oral herpes. And don't go crazy about it.
Whether oral, genital or unknown, if you are infected and remain asymptomatic, you won't have to worry anymore about genital HSV-1. You would even have less worry about HSV-2.
people with HSV-1 generally have less severe (and more asymptomatic) genital herpes if they get HSV-2.
http://medhelp.org/forums/STD/messages/519.html

And you should set this doctor straight, too.

Quote:

For example, most people infected with HSV-1 in the genital area have few, if any, outbreaks after the initial episode, far fewer than is typical with either oral HSV-1 or genital HSV-2. While experts estimate that some 30% of genital herpes infections in the United States may be caused by HSV-1, only 2- 5% of recurring genital outbreaks are caused by HSV-1. Research conducted by Lawrence Corey, MD, and colleagues at the University of Washington in Seattle shows that genital HSV-2 recurs 10 times more often than genital HSV-1.
http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html

That doesn't look too scary to me. And it also backs up my statement that you get genital herpes from having your penis or vagina infected, not from kissing on the lips. DH has had coldsores since he was a kid, too, and I can't infect him again nor can he infect me--and neither of us has ever had a genital outbreak. My son may end up with coldsores, having an occasional feverblister once a year like most adults, but he won't get genital herpes unless he gets our saliva on his penis while we have active coldsores. Other infections of HSV-1, like in the eye, are caused by infected saliva getting into the area, and I don't usually spit in his eye. So, again, I'm not too worried. To me it's like being afraid of a cold.

You don't get genital herpes from kissing someone on the mouth who has coldsores or having genital-to-genital sex with them. You can spread coldsores by kissing, and it's up to everyone if they feel the risk is worth it or not. Those who get HSV-1 by kissing only get coldsores occasionally. They may pass it on via oral sex while they have active lesions, but those who get genital herpes that way usually have one outbreak and then rarely have another. And if they later get HSV-2, which is much more likely to cause recurrences, their outbreaks are less severe and less often. Practicing safe sex until marriage would make sure they didn't give anyone genital herpes, and if they did eventually infect their partner through kissing, their partner would only get coldsores. If they did infect their husband/wife in the genital area, s/he wouldn't be able to pass it back, would have one outbreak, and probably never have one in that region again, although that would be quite unlikely if the couple had been practicing safe sex until they were married but had been kissing. Everyone can read the wide variety of information for themselves and decide if they 1) want to be hypervigilant about germs and refrain from kissing and sharing drinks, whether they have a coldsore or not, or 2a) want to simply teach their children to practice safe sex until marriage + 2b) if they're ill with anything, from coldsores to the flu, refrain from activities that could transmit the ailment & teach their kids the same. I chose option 2.


----------



## Lula's Mom (Oct 29, 2003)

Since reading this thread I have found myself kissing my children on the lips _more_ often! I usually kiss them other places like the forehead & cheeks which are bigger targets and don't require so much aim on a tiny little face.

My mom still kisses me on the lips, but I don't like it. The only reason I don't, though, is because she gives me a little hard, dry, pinched-mouth peck, and it feels weird. There's no "mwah" to it! So in my kisses to my kids I always make sure I keep my lips soft (but closed, of course!)

I remember when I was little (6?) I asked my mom what a French kiss was. She told me, and I asked if we could try it.







Now that's "EW!" (She said NO, btw!)


----------



## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abimommy* 
I kiss my parents on the lips.

We give lip kisses with dd.

FIL was a little uncomfortable with lip kisses at first but he soon discovered that dd would lick his face if he offered a cheek instead.







No cheeks for her! Either it's a real kiss or they get a lick.

















That is so funny!


----------



## mamadawg (Jun 23, 2004)

We kiss our girls on the lips all the time. Rather, they kiss us on the lips most of the time.







Much like abimommy's daughter, mine insist on it. It's very sweet and it doesn't feel weird at all. We are a very affectionate family and kisses flow freely in our house.









I've gotten cold sores all my life and have been in 3 long-term relationships and I've never given my herpes to anyone else. I haven't been tested for herpes, though, so I don't know exactly what I have. I've always thought that my kids would get it some time because I got mine from my parents, but I try to avoid kissing them on the lips when I have a cold sore. I don't want them to get it because I hate getting cold sores--I especially hated it when I was a kid, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if they do. It's a concern to me, but it's not something I worry about constantly.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

:

If you only ever get coldsores then it's HSV-1. Oral HSV-2 is rare and rarely reactivates; HSV-2 is usually genital and is not spread by mouth-to-motuh contact, but by genital to genital or genital-to-mouth, as it is an STD not salivate-transmitted like HSV-1.


----------



## NiteNicole (May 19, 2003)

I don't and won't kiss DD on the lips because it's just not something I want to do. And should she ever decide she wants to start kissing people on the lips, I will make certain that she understand licking or otherwise harassing other people into lip kissing is NOT cute or ok. Other people have boundaries and they count.

As to the cold sores thing, I don't get them and I don't want them. If I did get them I'd be super careful just in case. Maybe not a big deal to you, but the kids who have them in school are usually embarassed and sometimes picked on and I'll avoid that if possible.


----------



## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

we kiss dd on the lips, and I expect we will continue to do so until she starts being less kissy. hard to say!


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

Most of the kids I know with coldsores, like my husband, didn't get picked on. I was picked on because someone decided to spread a rumor that I had the STD oral herpes caused by HSV-2 and must have contracted it by being a 12-year-old slut, but anyone can decide to spread a rumor about someone having an STD for any reason. Kids who have their periods early often get picked on, too, and may have similar rumors spread. *shrugs* Teaching kids not to pick on each other and how to handle that if it does happen would a better alternative than being hypervigilant about them drinking out of water fountains or taking a sip from someone else's glass, IMO. Kids are going to get picked on regardless, so not doing something/doing something/whatever because your kid might get picked on just seems odd. Not kissing your kids because they might get a coldsore and get picked on, just as they might get a zit and get picked on, just seems like a poor reason. I'd much rather base my reasons around the health issues surrounding HSV-1 than teasing.


----------



## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

I kiss anywhere. In fact I have a special place I hae always kissed Kailey. On the bridge of her nose. Ever since she was a baby and realized that my mouth fit perfectly on the bridge of her nose. Now I do it all the time. We kiss on the lips too though. My parents never kisses us on the lips, just gave hugs.


----------



## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

I haven't read this thread since my last reply, so I gues you all got on the subject of herpes on the last page or so. All I have to say is EW! My family is BIG on lip kissing, but they always say, oh don't kis me, I have a cold sore. THer eis NO kissing going on when grandma or mommy has a cold sore. THat's just the way it has always been. I used to get cold sores all the time, but I haven't had on in YEARS. I think it's my healthier lifestyle.


----------



## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

I have herpes and know that 50% of our population has one form of herpes or another. Soon we will ALL have herpes. Also know that herpes can be transmitted even WITHOUT a lesion present.

Kailey has cold sores when she has been sick and our family doctor has let us know that cold sores are NOT any form of herpes, and I am referring to those lesions present directly after a viral illness.


----------



## Potty Diva (Jun 18, 2003)

Oh, but even if they WERE herpes I would not be freaking out about it.

Oh and for the teasing...Kailey isn't teased for her cold sores, and I often wonder about people who make these statements about teasing. I hear people say, "I wouldn't do that because the kids will be teased" in regard to so many things, herpes, children of color, biracial children, homosexuality and I wonder if the perpetrators of this teasing is not done by those who make those comments.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

:









I was told it was most likely HSV-1 and was tested for HSV-2, as it was considered more serious, but I have seen information stating that it may not necessarily be either. So who knows? Maybe it just goes along with some of the colds I get.


----------



## Dael (Jan 1, 2007)

We kiss our kids on the lips but the only persons the kiss on the lips are me DH eachother and the grandparents, I'm not comfortable with other people kissing my kids on the lips besides the ones I just post.
They kiss the other people on the cheek, one kiss in each cheek the typical European way.


----------



## linguistmama (Sep 25, 2006)

We kiss dd on the lips. She just learned how and its so cute. Once she wanted to kiss me with her mouth wide open and her tongue sticking out! I stopped that pretty quick since I didn't like her coming at me like that. I think we will kiss her on the lips as long as we all feel comfortable. I still kiss my parents on the lips occasionally and kissed my grandma like that sometimes so I get it from my family and we didn't feel weird about it


----------



## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

OMG I just remembered the cutest ever feeling of kissing my babies open mouths. That echoey sound. I'm dying.









The widdle wips...oh I have to go smooch my kids now.


----------



## sunnysideup (Jan 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajama* 
OMG I just remembered the cutest ever feeling of kissing my babies open mouths. That echoey sound. I'm dying.









Aw, so sweet! I love those milky baby kisses


----------



## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Moonfirefaery, after reading your last post I realize that we misunderstood each other drastically!!! When I said that oral herpes can infect someone else with genital herpes, I didn't mean by kissing on the lips; I meant by kissing on the genitals. When I said that oral herpes can cause blindness, I didn't mean by kissing on the lips; I meant by getting secretions from a herpes blister (one's own or someone else's) into the eye, for instance by touching one's mouth and then touching one's eye, which is something little kids do pretty often.

And I thought you were claiming that HSV-1 never, ever causes genital herpes. Reading your posts again, I still think that's what you were saying. But I must have misunderstood because you seem to be acknowledging that fact now.

And there is nothing in the three quotes you posted that I think should be "set straight".

Quote:

My own experiences, doctors advice, and research that has been ongoing for probably a LOT longer than you've been doing research
You mentioned several times that you've been infected for 13 years. Well, I am older than you are, and it was 13 years ago that I had a boyfriend with genital herpes and did a lot of research to find out what I was risking if I had sex with him. I was the kind of kid who read any and all information about sex that I could find, so it's been about 25 years since I first read that both herpes viruses can cause oral or genital outbreaks.

Moonfirefaery wrote:

Quote:

I was picked on because someone decided to spread a rumor that I had the STD oral herpes caused by HSV-2 and must have contracted it by being a 12-year-old slut.
I think that alone could explain why you are so eager to prove that HSV-1 is healthy and normal while HSV-2 is the cause of all herpes problems. If I'd had that experience, I might feel the same way. I'm sorry you had such a rough time.







If I had been in your class, I would've told everyone that oral herpes is spread in many non-sexual ways and therefore it didn't mean anything about your behavior. And I probably would've gotten picked on for being a know-it-all instead of a "fun" person who spreads gossip unquestioningly, but whatever.









Edited to add: This thread has not changed my mind about whether I want to get herpes, but it HAS made me realize that my stance on kissing is inconsistent with my stance on sharing food and beverage. I'm very casual about sharing, even though that's how I got mono when I was 18. I still think it's nice to save lip-kissing for a few very special people, and I still don't feel that it's something to share with my child, but avoiding it as a means of avoiding disease is not all that great a precaution. Most illnesses that spread by saliva have a slightly better chance when the saliva is transferred directly rather than on an inanimate object, but it's not that big a difference.


----------



## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

Quote:

it's been about 25 years since I first read that both herpes viruses can cause oral or genital outbreaks.
That's interesting considering that was only recently acknowledged widely by the medical community Moreover, the oral lesions caused by HSV-2 are usually quite different and less mild than those caused by HSV-1. Regardless of how long you have been studying and reading, living with it, being treated for it, knowing others who have it, is quite a bit different. Would you tell a Cancer patient you know more about their Cancer than them because you've been reading for many years?

Quote:

I think that alone could explain why you are so eager to prove that HSV-1 is healthy and normal while HSV-2 is the cause of all herpes problems
No, being accused of exposing my child to an infectious, dangerous disease that could cause him to go blind or have genital herpes (when it can't) is the reason why I am eager to prove that HSV-1 is not as severe as HSV-2, is not an STD, and will not do my child any harm from him kissing me on the lips. You made certain if your first few posts to tell me all about blindness and genital herpes, as if that has anything to do with the subject of lip-kissing.

I was teased for having a father that was in the Navy, for liking Mickey Mouse in 5th grade, for becoming a witch in middle school, and for various other reasons. Someone spread a rumor about me in high school that I performed oral sex on someone else's boyfriend. A rumor is just a rumor. I could really care a less about one cause of teasing than any other. Please don't assume that you know something about me.

I'm not particularly too worried because I plan to teach my son better than to be physically intimate when he's ill and to practice safe sex. Not to mention the fact that HSV-1 rarely causes recurrent genital herpes, only a single outbreak that disappears and then returns later as coldsores. So again if you don't want to kiss your child, don't, but don't act as if those of us who do and get coldsores are infecting them with a deadly STD.


----------



## Phoenix_Rising (Jun 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pyratekk* 
Okay, my fiancee and I are having a bit of an argument (or rather a very heated discussion) about parents who kiss their children on the lips. So I told him I would post here about it and we'd see what kind of results we get.

`So how many of you kiss your children on the lips?
`For those of you who do, when did you start and would you ever feel that they were too old for this and stop?
`For those who don't, any real reason why not?

Thanks in advance for your responses!!

My DS is 14 months. I do kiss him on the lips and I get in my kisses whenever I can








That said, I will continue kissing him on the lips until he makes it known that he is not comfortable with it any longer.


----------



## Vespertina (Sep 30, 2006)

We do, since birth. Never really even considered not doing it. It was just natural for us to do it, more so me than DH. I still kiss my parents on the lips.


----------

