# Help! My children are smothering me!



## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I have 2 1/2 year old and 9 month old boys. My problem is, is that they follow me around 24/7 demanding things of me. ALL DAY LONG it's "Eat Mommy!, Milk Mommy!, Pee Mommy!" Over and Over and OVER again. I swear DS1 is always hungry. If he's not hungry he needs me to take him to the potty.

I'll get DS1 his food and put him in his chair. Than I nurse DS2, put him on the floor with some toys and get my own food. While I'm trying to eat DS2 is pulling on my legs crying and shrieking because he wants to sit on my lap.







: It's hard to eat with him on my lap grabbing at my plate. I try to put him in his high chair with some cut up what-have-you but that just seems to make him more furious for some reason.

These two will not go into their room (which is on the main floor, very close to the "action" of the house and there is plenty for them to do in there) and play unless I go in there with them.

I feel I give them a lot of attention. We go to the park a lot, play puzzles, read, color, play trains/cars... it just never seems like they are satisfied and are always trying to get more and more attention. They follow me everywhere I go and I feel like turning around and yelling "BOTH of you QUIT FOLLOWING ME!!!" I can't even go to the bathroom without two spectators.

I was trying to read a book to myself yesterday, so I sat on the floor to try and seem like I was down there on their level playing... well they both just started climbing on me, and my youngest tried to rip the book out of my hand. Two seconds later DS1 "peeeeeeeeeeee mommy" and I had just taken him 3 minutes earlier. (I should just let him go alone but he ends up making a mess with his little boy bad aim. lol)







:







:

I don't know what to do. Why are they like this? Why can't they just leave me alone for 20 minutes??

Thank God for naps is all I have to say.


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
Why are they like this? Why can't they just leave me alone for 20 minutes??

They are 2 1/2 and 9 months. I know full well not the answer you wanted. But honestly that's why. Hang in there mama!


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I guess it's hard because I have friends whos children play in their rooms, or at least 5 feet away from their mothers. I think I'm jealous!


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## nocalmama (Nov 12, 2005)

Hang in there mama. This too will pass. You just described my 3.5 yo about six months ago. She'd wake up in the middle of the night when I went peeing, and it happened almost everyday. I had to use another bathroom just so she wouldn't hear me. I finally got tired and told her firmly that I didn't want her to follow me into the bathroom. I insisted that she waited outside. At first she cried but after a few days she accepted the rule.

These days it's the afternoons that kills me. With number 2 on the way I feel very tired and sleepy after lunch, all I want to do is nap, and she doesn't nap. Just when I started to close my eyes I'll hear her "mama please don't sleep". Sweet, but after awhile I got tired. If I firmly tell her I want to nap and she goes play by herself, she cries. If I ignore her, I'll find her napping somewhere near me. Go figure!


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## nimblemama (Dec 21, 2006)

My kids are the same. DD is 3 and has been very clingy lately and does not want me to read, work on the computer, etc. My DS is 19 months old is just needs constant supervision because he gets into everything. My only sanity is their TV and DVDs. They watch various DVDs throughout the day and I try to get things done during that time.


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## Teensy (Feb 22, 2002)

I once read a quote that "taking care of children is like being pecked to death by ducks" and that really seemed to describe my life on certain days. I even did a whole spread in my scrapbook devoted to the quote and how it applied to my life!


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## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
I guess it's hard because I have friends whos children play in their rooms, or at least 5 feet away from their mothers. I think I'm jealous!

I do know what you mean..it's a rough phase..I am jealous of you getting to go through it though









I work full time out of the house and wish he was on my heels all day instead of at daycare.

*hugs* mama...you will look back fondly on this time someday....


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

M is the exact same way. Plus this ear-piercing shriek if his needs are not magically met immediately.

As far as E is concerned, she's surgically attached to my hip.







:


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## daisycullen2003 (Nov 29, 2004)

hi,

i totally empathize! it is good to hear that other people have a similar experience, though.

on one hand, i think kids who are parented AP style are much more attached and needy at these ages. on the other hand, sometimes i believe it's a sign of disconnection.maybe both. but it's also just that all kids are different and have different needs.

one resource i would recommend is "Hold onto your kids" by gorden neufeld. IMO it's the best parenting book out there. he discusses the importance of attachment and how to maintain it. as someone who practices attachment parenting, i felt lost after the newborn phase w/ regards to how to do attachment parenting. it was like, "now what??" the book is the answer to the question.

one suggestion he has that may be helpful in your situation is to really focus on connecting with your kids. i'm sure you feel like, oh my gosh, how can i be more connected? but it's so important for YOU to initiate the connection. if they are the ones asking you to play, hold them, feed them, take them potty and even if you respond and attend to their needs, it is not enough. try to just compeletely focus on them--making eye contact, giving kisses, picking them up, offering to nurse, feed them ,etc before they ask. i think this will make a huge difference. you still need to really tune into them and what they are needing--maybe at times some of these actions will not be called for or just too much. and oh, they need to be sincere. i think you will find that you will have more space.

just wanted to share what has helped me. hope it helps you.

also, reading about the law of attraction has really helped. films like the secret or the book, ask and it is given. scott noelle is a fantastic parenting coach. can be found at www.enjoyparenting.com. he sends out a free daily inspirational e-mail. lots of great ideas.

lisa


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## pellifoli (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Teensy* 
I once read a quote that "taking care of children is like being pecked to death by ducks"









:


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *daisycullen2003* 
hi,

i totally empathize! it is good to hear that other people have a similar experience, though.

on one hand, i think kids who are parented AP style are much more attached and needy at these ages. on the other hand, sometimes i believe it's a sign of disconnection.maybe both. but it's also just that all kids are different and have different needs.

one resource i would recommend is "Hold onto your kids" by gorden neufeld. IMO it's the best parenting book out there. he discusses the importance of attachment and how to maintain it. as someone who practices attachment parenting, i felt lost after the newborn phase w/ regards to how to do attachment parenting. it was like, "now what??" the book is the answer to the question.

one suggestion he has that may be helpful in your situation is to really focus on connecting with your kids. i'm sure you feel like, oh my gosh, how can i be more connected? but it's so important for YOU to initiate the connection. if they are the ones asking you to play, hold them, feed them, take them potty and even if you respond and attend to their needs, it is not enough. try to just compeletely focus on them--making eye contact, giving kisses, picking them up, offering to nurse, feed them ,etc before they ask. i think this will make a huge difference. you still need to really tune into them and what they are needing--maybe at times some of these actions will not be called for or just too much. and oh, they need to be sincere. i think you will find that you will have more space.

just wanted to share what has helped me. hope it helps you.

also, reading about the law of attraction has really helped. films like the secret or the book, ask and it is given. scott noelle is a fantastic parenting coach. can be found at www.enjoyparenting.com. he sends out a free daily inspirational e-mail. lots of great ideas.

lisa

I know you were trying to help and I know I did post and open myself up to this kind of thing but I want you to know that I am feeling offended. I'm sure you didn't mean to offend me and I didn't say how I behave around my kids so you would have no way of knowing. I do want you to know though that I am extremely affectionate with my kids. I initiate play with them 10,000 a day. They don't watch TV, we play...alllll day. I talk to them, I take my DS to the potty ... they are in no way attention/affection starved. My children get nothing but love from me, even when I'm frustrated with them. They're very secure and attached to their father and I.

Thanks.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Thanks to everybody for your responses! It's good to know that I'm not alone and "this too shall pass".


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
M is the exact same way. Plus this ear-piercing shriek if his needs are not magically met immediately.

As far as E is concerned, she's surgically attached to my hip.







:


If I stopped having children at Cullen I would have no idea what sort of ear-piercing shriek you are referring to... but it's shocking that such a loud noise can come out of a small body, such as Harrisons!


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I only have one child (another on the way!) She is almost 18 months and is like velcro. She is screaming if not in my arms. I understand your frustrations completely, other than I only have one child attached to me. I can't pee, eat, read or touch the computer or she screams like she is being tortured. I set her down on the sofa and RUN to the bathroom so she can't catch me. She chases after me and bangs on the door. I am tired of having to hold her while I pee! She has been like that since birth. I am really hoping she gets less clingy by the time #2 comes. I don't know how to deal with more than one clingy child at a time! Hopefully #2 isn't like that!


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

I can understand how you feel, I feel the same way sometimes with my 2.5 year old DS and 9 month old DD. Especially when my DH is deployed!







: Too bad you don't live in western WA, we could let them run wild together! No advice, just another "you're not alone!"


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## utopia760 (Feb 7, 2007)

wow sounds like my house i have a 2 1/2 ds year old and an 11 dd month old the ds constantly says mommy for no reason or mommy look, or whats that, dd literaly is holding on to my pant legs 1/2 the day making it impossible to walk nap time is also my savior as well as the back yard!!!


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood* 
I guess it's hard because I have friends whos children play in their rooms, or at least 5 feet away from their mothers. I think I'm jealous!

I'm jealous too. I just keep hoping it gets better. DD does the tearing the book out of my hand thing too. It sure is infuriating.


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## daisycullen2003 (Nov 29, 2004)

i'm sorry you feel that way. i was sincerely trying to help. i thought that's why you posted. i am facing a similar situation and i wanted to share what has helped me. i am very careful about sending suggestions because I am sensitive to the fact that parenting is so tough and we are all trying to do our best.
lisa

_I know you were trying to help and I know I did post and open myself up to this kind of thing but I want you to know that I am feeling offended. I'm sure you didn't mean to offend me and I didn't say how I behave around my kids so you would have no way of knowing. I do want you to know though that I am extremely affectionate with my kids. I initiate play with them 10,000 a day. They don't watch TV, we play...alllll day. I talk to them, I take my DS to the potty ... they are in no way attention/affection starved. My children get nothing but love from me, even when I'm frustrated with them. They're very secure and attached to their father and I.

Thanks._


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