# My stillborn Daughter



## Tiffani Mari (Apr 23, 2006)

I just had my stillborn daughter on April 08. It was 2 days after my due date that I noticed she wasn't moving thinking she just didnt have enough space I went to the hospital but when they tried to find her heart beat with the monitors they couldnt. Never in a million years did I think she was dead! I was full term and I had to deliver my dead daughter vaginally she came out weighing 8 pounds 9 ounces looking healthier than some of the babies in the nursery! And the worst part about it is NO DOCTOR CAN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DAUGHTER!!!!! I dont even know if I should get pregnant again what if happens again I couldn't take it!!!!!


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## mamanurse (Jan 22, 2006)

to you! I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'll be thinking about you and what you are going through.


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## EVC (Jan 29, 2006)

I'm so sorry


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## Rowan Tree (Apr 21, 2006)

My heart and my prayers are with you.


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## TeaBag (Dec 18, 2003)

: for you and your family.


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## mtnsunshinemama (Sep 21, 2004)

So very sorry for your loss. All Blessings to you and your family!


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## Celtain (Mar 10, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Oh mama, I'm also so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter.


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## annakiss (Apr 4, 2003)

I'm so so sorry for your terrible loss. Mama, my thoughts are with you and your sweet baby girl.


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## allnaturalmama (Jul 25, 2005)

Oh, Tiffani Mari, how heartwrenching! I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. I'll be praying for you during this difficult time.

I know this is not much help, but I do have two friends who've been through this - stillborn, full term, apparently healthy babies, and no one knew what happened. Both friends went on to have more healthy children, 3 between them to be exact.


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## littlemama06 (Oct 29, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

Tiffani, I am so sorry. I too know your pain. I lost my dd last year, without cause as well.
You are not alone. PM me if you would like.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

A warm and gentle welcome to Mothering. I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter.

We have a forum for pregnancy and birth loss. I'm going to move your thread over there so that you'll get the support you need


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## kaylee18 (Dec 25, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## rn (Jul 27, 2003)

I am so sorry.
I also lost my son last year. It is so hard, and there is nothing fair about it.
Go easy and gently. Its a rough ride.
peace to you.


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## trini (Sep 20, 2005)

I am so sorry. My 1st son was stillborn at 38 weeks. You are just starting out on the path that I have been traveling for almost 2 1/2 years. Right now you have no way of knowing what the future holds. Hopefully you will get some questions answered. I imagine you are still in shock. Take time to process and heal. Life will never be the same again, but you will come out of the fog that you are in now.

I certainly can't tell you that "you will have another baby." When people told me that after my son died, I replied, "but I want THIS baby." I still cry for my son every day. But I also have found my joy again. My 2nd son is sleeping on my lap right now and he is an awesome blessing.

Connect to others who have experienced the loss of their child. Even though no one can take your pain away, I think it helps to know that others have been where you are now and survived.








:


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

tiffani,
i am sorry that you have lost your daughter. i hope that you are finding support in your area from family and possibly a support group when you are ready? it is so good that you found this forum, there are (unfortunately) many moms here who have had the same horrible thing happen. it really helps to have women to communicate with who know really how you may be feeling. i was lost, totally lost, and in so much need of support and someone who could understand the accute pain and shock i was feeling. i was lucky to find this forum, and it has been a major part of my ability to function. that was so hard to do, just the idea of living my life after such a loss, i didn't know that i could do it. i wasn't suicidal, but i didn't know if i mind and body would work. so many women here came and 'stood beside me' and helped me to feel the horrible pain and know that it was alright and 'normal' to feel the terrible range of emotions that came with grieving your newborn.
we lost our daughter in a very similiar way- first child, full term, one day she was fine, and the next she had left us. i delivered her at our hospital, and that day was absolutley the worst day of my life. i was so unprepared. but i want to tell you that i also felt it was the best day of my life, without a doubt, because i became a mother that day, and even though she died, i was able to feel that unique love that makes us all mothers. i have found a way to be her mom, even though she is not with me, and that is through that love. i miss her every day and every moment, but she is always with me, she will always be my daughter, beautiful, perfect, and loved to the ultimate degree! it is so hard to be without her, there is no way to change that. we are all here to listen and offer you support, if you need/want to write about how you are feeling, we are all here to listen. there is nothing worse than losing your child.









i don't know if you have any reading material, but there are some great books written just for families who have lost their babies from stillbirth. personally, i found these books so helpful in my greiving. one in particular is 'empty cradle, broken heart'. there is a 'sticky' at the top of the forum that has some good resources for us.

much love to you, and i am so sorry.


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## egoldber (Nov 18, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter a year ago. The pain is still there, but it is very different now.


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## Sandrine (Apr 14, 2004)

So sorry for your loss.


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## aileen (Jan 23, 2006)

i'm so so sorry mama.
wishing you slow gentle healing.
start threads and write as much as you need - we will be here to listen.
crying for your loss.


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I too am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter almost a year ago at 37 weeks and we have no definite reason why.

I would love to hear more about your little girl - what you named her, what she looked like or whatever you feel like sharing. How did the hospital treat you? Please feel free to share as little or as much as you need here to get you through this, but no pressure. You are going to find your emotions will be a roller coaster ride for quite awhile. Too many of us understand what you will be going through, what you have gone through.

I'll be thinking of you.


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

I'm thinking of you and am sending love out to you.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss.







I would also love to hear more about your precious little girl. Please feel free to share whatever you need to here.


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## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

I'm so sorry to hear about your baby.

I agree with some of the previous posters about you sharing your daughter with us, if you feel comfortable enough. I know it was somewhat healing for me to write about my experience and tell about my son. You should find that many of us moms that have been there appreciate the sharing, while many other moms who haven't may be uncomfortable with it. I know it was also quite healing to read the stories of other mamas who had lost their child(ren) and see how all of the feelings you have are very normal, even though they may not seem like they are.

I know it is really hard not knowing why this happened. It is also hard to read stories about those who did find out why. I am one that have no idea why my son left so early. It was, and still is, very frustrating. I am now pregnant again, and it is quite hard to think that everything will go okay this time around especially since you don't know what happened the first. I guess you just have to keep optimistic and think good vibes, and believe that there is a very, very, small chance that it will happen again.

Much Love,
Mary


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)

i am so so so sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl.


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## christymama (Feb 21, 2003)

Awe mama I am so sorry for your loss.








hugs to you!


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## toddlermama16 (Jun 21, 2005)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. There must be no words to describe the depth of what you are feeling. My condolences are with you and your family.


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## Gitti (Dec 20, 2003)

I am so very sorry for your tragic loss.


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## momtoS (Apr 12, 2006)

SO sorry for your loss.


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## cornflower_3 (Jan 15, 2006)

*


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry. Stillbirth is one of my worst nightmares. I think that must be even worse than losing a 3 month old because at least I got to have him for a little while


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## nikisager (Oct 25, 2005)

I am so very very sorry for the loss of your sweet angel. I hope and pray that you find the answers you need and deserve. I hope you have support from your family and friends. You will need all the hugs you can get now, and for a very long time to come. I wouldnt worry about ttc right now, just take some time to get you "better" kwim? The ladies here are wonderful and we will all help you thru this as mush as possible. My thoughts are with you and your little angel.


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## nikisager (Oct 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2Sweeties1Angel*
I'm so sorry. Stillbirth is one of my worst nightmares. I think that must be even worse than losing a 3 month old because at least I got to have him for a little while










That is what I have always felt, I cannot imagine not ever having him, but for the short time I did, I was blessed.

On another note, Tiffani, have you named her and made arrangments to lay her to peace? I wasnt sure if you knew you could do that...


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

I am so sorry. Sending you love and hugs.


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## lauraheartslittle1 (Apr 12, 2006)

Thinking of you


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## Patti Ann (Dec 2, 2001)

Thinking of you and your sweet baby girl







Know we are all here for you. Feel free to share more about her when you are ready.

My 4th, Griffin, was born still 7 months ago at 35.5 weeks due to a knot in his umbilical cord.

Hugs to you mama.

Patti


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## Mama8 (Mar 6, 2006)

Mama I am so very very sorry for your loss.


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## Plady (Nov 20, 2001)

I'm so sorry mama.


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

I am so sorry for you loss!!! Please know that you are welcome and wanted here....please also know that when you are ready...we would love to see pics of your beautiful daughter.

Love and Peace to mama!!!!!


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## jl22martin (Apr 29, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think delivering a child that you know is already gone is the worst thing any parent can go through. I delivered my son "naturally" 22 wks into my pregnancy. It was the most horiffic thing I've ever had to do. Not only do you have to endure the labor but then knowing that your baby is already gone makes it that much harder. My doctors had no idea and still don't as to what happened to our son Sawyer Scott. Left with no answers is very scary. I pray every day that no mother would ever have to suffer that kind of loss. So many people try to avoid the subject. As if you could overlook a big pink elephant in the room. It's the kind of pain I don't think will ever go away. My son was born on Jan.20, 2006. And my heart longs to hold him every day.I hope you got to spend time holding your little girl and finding the unique things about her.


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## mystic~mama (Apr 27, 2004)

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter mama...blessings and peace to you~~


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## isaiahsmommy05 (Jul 1, 2005)

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious daughter









My son, Isaiah, was stillborn March 9, 2005 at 33 weeks. I almost died with him physically and spiritually.
After an extremelly hard pregnancy I have my miracle, Elliana. So it is possible. But she doesn't replace him even though some people act like she should. Don't let people make you feel that way. I still grieve him everyday.

I'm so sorry darlin.


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## Catrinel (Jul 18, 2005)

So, so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby daughter.


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## UrbanEarthMom (Jul 20, 2004)

I am so sorry. Words cannot express the tragedy you have experienced. May you receive the love and support you need.

Mary


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious DD.







s

My DD, Reagan, was stillborn on August 29, 2005. There was a clot in her cord and her placenta abrupted. Like other posters here, my DH almost buried her and I in the same casket.









I'm sure you gave her a beautiful name and hopefully you were able to spend some time w/her. Big (((HUGS))) to you.


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)




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## Greensleeves (Aug 4, 2004)

I'm so, so sorry.


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

I am so very sorry for your loss.


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## willow659 (Feb 26, 2006)

I am so very sorry.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm so sorry.


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