# Did I overreact?



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I decided to take the kiddos to the park, alone. I found this REALLY cute park, mainly geared at younger children, really small much like this only a wee bit smaller. It's off the beaten trail on a little back street with little to no traffic. I saw MAYBE 4 cars go by the whole time I was there.

Anyway, we had been there about 45 minutes, James was having a BLAST when I notice a car parked behind my van (street parking only) I brush it off. Time goes on and I notice the car is STILL sitting there. Not running, 1 adult inside just sitting there. So I kind of watch for a bit and still she just sits there...I kind of got a funny feeling about it, but brushed it off. The feeling kept nagging and nagging at me until I finally packed the kids up and left.

Did I overreact by leaving?

I'm in a VERY small town, but like I said, this part of town is fairly deserted in the middle of the day, no car traffic, no sidewalks so no feet traffic, no people out in their yards (middle of the day, most people are at work).










James is VERY upset at me for leaving, so we'll be headed back here in a couple hours, but the whole car sitting there doing nothing freaked me out.







:

Honestly?? What would you have done?


----------



## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

Your instincts are there for a reason. If you think something is off/wrong, then there's a good chance it is. IMO, it wouldn't have been smart to stay in an isolated place where you weren't comfortable. Always, always listen to your instincts.


----------



## uumomma (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
Your instincts are there for a reason. If you think something is off/wrong, then there's a good chance it is. IMO, it wouldn't have been smart to stay in an isolated place where you weren't comfortable. Always, always listen to your instincts.

ditto
good job momma!


----------



## Embee (May 3, 2002)

I've had similar moments and while in most cases it's probably someone else who wanted some time "off the beaten track" in a small town, it's NEVER wrong to follow your instincts. Perhaps she was on her lunch hour and just needed a moment alone. Then again, perhaps not.

I've noticed since having DS, I am much more aware of our surroundings and I probably tend to be more "vigilant" about moments such as these. I follow my instincts rather than fight them. All could have been fine, but what does it hurt to err on the side of caution, ya know?

I LOVE those out of the way (ALONE) moments out and about. I tend to look for them (particularly when DS was younger and preferred it this way).

The best to you, mama.

Em


----------



## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Better safe than sorry and always follow your instincts. Have you read 'Protecting The Gift' .. if not, I highly recommend it.

I often like to park my car in a deserted place to eat lunch or kill a little time before picking ds up from school. That might have been all it was, but if you felt funny, you totally did the right thing.


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Well my take on it is that you probably did "overreact" but since there's really no harm to just leaving (it's not like you called in a swat team on this woman for sitting in her car) then what does it matter?

I don't mean to second guess your reaction since obviously I wasn't there to see the whole picture but I guess I don't see what's so creepy about a woman just sitting in her car. Maybe if she was snapping photos or staring oddly or something. But just sitting there? Do whatever makes you feel comfortable but I don't get the feeling from the description that she was up to anything sinister.


----------



## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I agree with whalemilk -- no harm (other than annoyed kiddo) in leaving, but I've certainly parked next to a park to eat lunch or kill time between appointments, so someone just sitting in their car wouldn't necessarily bother me.


----------



## Amys1st (Mar 18, 2003)

For me, if I feel something is wrong, I am usually right! I also instruct my dds the same, if you feel like something is wrong, you are right.
So no, you didnt- esp since you just got up and left. ITs not like a pp said- you didnt call the swat team or anything. ITs always better to err on the side of cautin and better to be safe than sorry.

Hopefully that was the last you saw of it anyhow and enjoy the park when you go back.


----------



## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

It's always good to listen to your instincts.


----------



## Just1More (Jun 19, 2008)

If I feel creepy I leave. What I am trying to prove by staying? Especially in an out of the way place. Nah, it could have been nothing, but what if it was? I vote that you didn't over-react. I think it was prudent.


----------



## Jemmind (Nov 13, 2007)

It was probably nothing to worry about but it's always better to err on the side of caution when it comes to things like this!


----------



## utopia760 (Feb 7, 2007)

na you dident over react


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

DH said that the hospital (which is just a little ways away) is 100% smoke free, you can't smoke in your car on the hospital property so it was more than likely a hospital worker on a smoke break. But o'well. Still freaked me out.


----------



## erinsmom1996 (Apr 9, 2006)

It might have been nothing, but I agree it is usually a good idea to follow your instincts. I know I try to.


----------



## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

I'd say trust your instincts, but I'll also offer this up for consideration. I have several friends who work in IT and end up with time on their hands between appointments, so they'll find an out-of-the-way place to park and chill for a while during the day.

I've also found myself with two napping kiddos and time to kill before an appointment, so I'll look for a place to park off the main road (quieter) near a park (in case they wake up) and will sometimes spend a couple hours just sitting there enjoying the quiet. If I can find another parent's car to park near, I will, especially if I'm not familiar with the area. It feels a little safer sometimes.


----------



## luckygreen713 (Apr 9, 2008)

I don't think you overreacted. There's nothing wrong with leaving if you feel uncomfortable. The woman may have been completely harmless and innocent, but why take the chance? It's not worth the risk, and I'm a big believer in listening to your gut, especially when it involves your children. We have instincts for a reason. So maybe there was a reason you really did need to get out of there.


----------



## ErinBird (Dec 5, 2005)

When I worked, I used to drive to a park and eat my lunch in my car while reading or listening to the radio. I also would occasionally glance at the happy kids playing because children are fun to watch and so full of joy. I still enjoy watching them.


----------



## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

I agree that your instincts are there for a reason, glad you used them


----------



## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

I think you over reacted.

I don't understand the concern. A woman was sitting in her car. She wasn't in the park, wasn't interacting with you in any way. I'm not understanding where the fear was coming from. Like pp mentioned, she was probably on her lunch break, just taking a quiet half-hour or so alone.

Now, if it had been a man in the car staring at you, if he had been looking at your kids with binoculars, that sort of thing, I can see getting creeped out. But this? Have we become so afraid of each other that we have to leave a public place because another person is there? Doing nothing? I would have stayed.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

It was probably no big deal - she might have been having lunch, or planning to meet someone there for lunch or to carpool - but it's no big deal to leave and it's best to trust your instincts. And, as you plan to do, you can always go back.


----------



## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

You certainly didn't do anything wrong by leaving and trusting your gut.

Maybe she was eating lunch, talking on a cell phone, listening to the radio or a book on tape, knitting, nursing a babe, or just sitting and zoning out for a bit. Doesn't seem like she was doing anything wrong, wither.

I think overreacting would have been calling the cops or confronting her with hostility. But you didn't do that, you simply left.


----------



## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I think you over reacted.

I don't understand the concern. A woman was sitting in her car. She wasn't in the park, wasn't interacting with you in any way. I'm not understanding where the fear was coming from. Like pp mentioned, she was probably on her lunch break, just taking a quiet half-hour or so alone.

Now, if it had been a man in the car staring at you, if he had been looking at your kids with binoculars, that sort of thing, I can see getting creeped out. But this? Have we become so afraid of each other that we have to leave a public place because another person is there? Doing nothing? I would have stayed.

Have to agree with this. Realistically, what exactly was it OP was afraid of?


----------



## shayinme (Jan 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I think you over reacted.

I don't understand the concern. A woman was sitting in her car. She wasn't in the park, wasn't interacting with you in any way. I'm not understanding where the fear was coming from. Like pp mentioned, she was probably on her lunch break, just taking a quiet half-hour or so alone.

Now, if it had been a man in the car staring at you, if he had been looking at your kids with binoculars, that sort of thing, I can see getting creeped out. But this? Have we become so afraid of each other that we have to leave a public place because another person is there? Doing nothing? I would have stayed.









: We are a one car family and sometimes my dh will go with me while I do something business related and often will just hang in the car reading while I am doing whatever. I think if the person seemed to be oblivious to you, I would not be concerned. Like others have said there are ton of reasons why someone could be chilling in their car especially in the middle of the day.

Shay


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Yeah I think it's really worth examining WHAT you thought was awry, OP. I know everyone likes to say "just trust your instincts" but sometimes instincts and prejudice or kneejerk social judgement are hard to tell apart. The latter two things can be very detrimental. So it's worth examining.


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I think you over reacted.

I don't understand the concern. A woman was sitting in her car. She wasn't in the park, wasn't interacting with you in any way. I'm not understanding where the fear was coming from. Like pp mentioned, she was probably on her lunch break, just taking a quiet half-hour or so alone.

Now, if it had been a man in the car staring at you, if he had been looking at your kids with binoculars, that sort of thing, I can see getting creeped out. But this? Have we become so afraid of each other that we have to leave a public place because another person is there? Doing nothing? I would have stayed.


Women should always follow their gut instincts. Not mine, not yours.

The difference with this situation than all the others she has seen in her life is that Mistymama felt creeped out, and that is enough for her to leave the park.

We all see many people a day and feel nothing about the situation after we see it, someone eating lunch in the car, parent waiting for a kid, finishing a phone, whatever, and we have NO response.

Than all of a sudden you have a gut feeling that something feels wrong.
Always Listen to yourself and never feel as if you you need to be polite to anyone when you feel creeped out!


----------



## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Amys1st* 
For me, if I feel something is wrong, I am usually right!

I hate to sound like a contrarian here, but you don't know that you're usually right. If you leave because of your instincts, you have no way ever to know that you were right or not.

I think it was a major overreaction. A woman was sitting in a car minding her own business, and that bothered you. I'm not sure why. If she'd gotten out, would that be better? Was she looking at you?

I'm a writer, and I often sit in my car to write. It works for me. There's nothing sinister about it, but I can imagine being this woman in the car you're talking about and you packing up and leaving.

I think "instinct" can be dangerous. Instinct causes many white women to cross the street when African American men are coming the other way. That "instinct" is really prejudice in disguise, though. So saying "always trust your instincts" doesn't really work for me.


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
I hate to sound like a contrarian here, but you don't know that you're usually right. If you leave because of your instincts, you have no way ever to know that you were right or not.

I think it was a major overreaction. A woman was sitting in a car minding her own business, and that bothered you. I'm not sure why. If she'd gotten out, would that be better? Was she looking at you?

I'm a writer, and I often sit in my car to write. It works for me. There's nothing sinister about it, but I can imagine being this woman in the car you're talking about and you packing up and leaving.

I think "instinct" can be dangerous. Instinct causes many white women to cross the street when African American men are coming the other way. That "instinct" is really prejudice in disguise, though. So saying "always trust your instincts" doesn't really work for me.

I think your response is not a wise one for anyone to follow.

Read the book the "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Studies show the same thing, that people aways say they had a "funny feeling", "a creepy feeling" and just brushed it off, did not want to be perceived rude. You pull the race card, and that is a bullshit card to pull. Women fear all colors and size men. It is a whole other conversatin, not this one.

At 15yrs old my daughter was abducted off a public beach at gun point and raped, she did not follow her gut instinct, and she has a good one as a city kid, she was polite. I certainly never taught her to be polite to strangers.

In the playground I saw a women leading a child out of a park holding his hand, it was not her child the mother started screaming to stop her, and we all ran to help. Everyone in the park than said "oh i had such a creepy feeling about that women waking around the park".

We see stuff all the time and never have a weird feeling, when you get that feeling follow it!


----------



## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grniys* 
Your instincts are there for a reason. If you think something is off/wrong, then there's a good chance it is. IMO, it wouldn't have been smart to stay in an isolated place where you weren't comfortable. Always, always listen to your instincts.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
You certainly didn't do anything wrong by leaving and trusting your gut.

Maybe she was eating lunch, talking on a cell phone, listening to the radio or a book on tape, knitting, nursing a babe, or just sitting and zoning out for a bit. Doesn't seem like she was doing anything wrong, wither.

I think overreacting would have been calling the cops or confronting her with hostility. But you didn't do that, you simply left.









: to both these.


----------



## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

It was probably nothing to be very concerned about but you felt weird and you were the one there. If I felt weird about somebody in an isolated place I would have left.
Overreacting would have been calling the cops or something.


----------



## KnitLady (Jul 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
*Better safe than sorry and always follow your instincts. Have you read 'Protecting The Gift' .. if not, I highly recommend it.*

I often like to park my car in a deserted place to eat lunch or kill a little time before picking ds up from school. That might have been all it was, but if you felt funny, you totally did the right thing.


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

I can't explain *why* I felt weird...it just did. I was all alone, there was no foot traffic, no other car traffic, just me and my kiddos...I normally don't even notice people around me...I'm fairly oblivious most of the time, but this captured my attention...and made me nervous.


----------



## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama* 
I can't explain *why* I felt weird...it just did. I was all alone, there was no foot traffic, no other car traffic, just me and my kiddos...I normally don't even notice people around me...I'm fairly oblivious most of the time, but this captured my attention...and made me nervous.


And you don't need to explain *why* you felt weird. You did and you left a situation that didn't feel right. I'd rather see you here telling us this than have a "missing woman and 2 children" amber alert flashing on the screen. You just don't know and it doesn't hurt anyone to be too careful!

I was robbed at my job in December of 06, when I was pregnant. I *knew* something was going to happen. I felt it. I knew it. But....I didn't want to assume and be rude and deny the guy service. The panick button that's usually on the wall was in my hand instead. I knew something bad was going to happen so I had that panick button hidden in the palm of my hand. As soon as the bad guy said the magic words, I pressed the button. He took the money, nobody was hurt. Cops were able to catch him and he pleaded guilty. I didn't listen to my gut that time.

A few months later there was another guy at my job and my instincts screamed at me--danger, danger, danger. I knew something wasn't right. I refused service (didn't let him in the building, made up an excuse). He went to a nearby business and robbed them instead.

Those 2 accounts (as well as many more through the years) proves to me that my instincts ARE right. No matter how silly something seems. It doesn't matter if you can't explain *why*. What matters is that instinct kicks in and it kicks in for a reason.

I would've done the same with the park scenario--especially if my kid was near, just as you did.

You did good mama


----------



## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
I think your response is not a wise one for anyone to follow.

Read the book the "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Studies show the same thing, that people aways say they had a "funny feeling", "a creepy feeling" and just brushed it off, *did not want to be perceived rude.* You pull the race card, and that is a bullshit card to pull. Women fear all colors and size men. It is a whole other conversatin, not this one.

At 15yrs old my daughter was abducted off a public beach at gun point and raped, she did not follow her gut instinct, and she has a good one as a city kid, she was polite. I certainly never taught her to be polite to strangers.

In the playground I saw a women leading a child out of a park holding his hand, it was not her child the mother started screaming to stop her, and we all ran to help. Everyone in the park than said "oh i had such a creepy feeling about that women waking around the park".

We see stuff all the time and never have a weird feeling, when you get that feeling follow it!

I'm sorry for your daughter









Your post gave my chills--how _after_ the lady tried to take the boy, _then_ people spoke up about their creepy feelings. Everyone has instincts. More people need to start listening to it. Like you said, I think a lot of people are afraid of being rude or offending someone. I'm tired of worrying about that. The first (and last!) time I was robbed I didn't want to offend the guy. God forbid I offend or upset someone who freaks me out, right? To save his feelings, I put myself in danger. Someone inturupted the robbery and bad guy took off. If someone hadn't of inturrupted, I can only imagine what may have happened next....


----------



## uumomma (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamesMama* 
I can't explain *why* I felt weird...it just did. I was all alone, there was no foot traffic, no other car traffic, just me and my kiddos...I normally don't even notice people around me...I'm fairly oblivious most of the time, but this captured my attention...and made me nervous.

then dear, BY ALL MEANS you did the right thing. who cares what other people think? YOU were there YOU felt weird. it is a gift from g-d or who (whom?) ever and you used it
very well done.


----------



## feminist~mama (Mar 6, 2002)

I sat in my car today for about 45 minutes- I live in the next town over and didn't want to go home before my dd got out of school. I had a book with me and chatted on the phone a bit and stared off into space thinking about my work schedule for a while.

Not that I'm saying you're wrong, just offering another perspective.


----------



## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *feminist~mama* 
I sat in my car today for about 45 minutes- I live in the next town over and didn't want to go home before my dd got out of school. I had a book with me and chatted on the phone a bit and stared off into space thinking about my work schedule for a while.

Not that I'm saying you're wrong, just offering another perspective.

And chances are if YOU were the one sitting in the car where the OP was, the OP would NOT have had the creepy feeling. It's not the situation. It's not what happened or what the person did or didn't do. It's the vibe that person or situation gives off. Just offering yet another perspective.


----------



## pitter_patter (Jan 16, 2007)

When my twins were younger they'd always fall asleep in the car, so I started carrying a book with me. As soon as they'd drift off I would drive to the park and sit in my car and read a book, sometimes for 2 hours. Sleep was precious in those days, what can I say? LOL. So yes, I think you overreacted.


----------



## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

I think you did the right thing. Often we assume "Oh, It's just some lady doing xyz, taking a smoke brake..." When our instincts are SCREAMING at us to "Get out of there" we should listen. OP- You did great.

To those of you that think "It's just some lady" when did we LADY's become NON VIOLENT??? Not a threat? Not dopped up on Meth? Women are just as brutal as men in many situations- and many women are very twisted.

By not listening to our instincts, and this is just MY personal opinion, is a in essence ignoring a very huge part of our Motherhood/Womanhood. By ignoring what we feel is creepy, out of place, wrong, or just OFF is putting US and our CHILDREN in a position of Danger- and to me that's never worth the risk to "see" if I was right or wrong.

So- I hope you mom's out there do listen to your instincts. We are given them for a reason...


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Posters saying "I sat in my car today" are you afraid of me,
Are missing the point.

Everyone sits in their car waiting for kids, doing work, or wasting time. We see people doing this everyday of our life, and think nothing of it, what makes this situation different is that this normal occurrence set off this mom flight instinct and she smartly listened.

That is what the "gift of fear" is all about.

She did not say every time I see a person sitting in a car I get a creepy feeling, it was this particular situation that set something off. That is why she is not overreacting.

This is what we have to teach our children. Follow their gut.


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MayBaby2007* 
I'm sorry for your daughter









Your post gave my chills--how _after_ the lady tried to take the boy, _then_ people spoke up about their creepy feelings. Everyone has instincts. More people need to start listening to it. Like you said, I think a lot of people are afraid of being rude or offending someone. I'm tired of worrying about that. The first (and last!) time I was robbed I didn't want to offend the guy. God forbid I offend or upset someone who freaks me out, right? To save his feelings, I put myself in danger. Someone inturupted the robbery and bad guy took off. If someone hadn't of inturrupted, I can only imagine what may have happened next....


Thank you for your kind words.
Nightmare for my family is not even a good enough word to describe what happened. I'm very sensitive to this issue of women giving away their power by not following their intuition and gut when they perceive danger.

I cannot stress enough to women and children that they must learn to listen to themselves. It is exactly like that voice when you're giving birth, we have an intuitive self that works perfectly if we allow it, and hear it.


----------



## TefferTWH (May 13, 2008)

I don't understand why a woman sitting there would be any less dangerous than a man? Statistically there are more crimes committed by men, but the incidence of violent crimes by women is rising drastically. Also, in child abduction cases, women have a greater percentage of participation, often times because of some deluded reason that they can take the child and become its mother. Ladies, you do our gender wrong to assume that a woman is any safer than a man. In the era of equal rights, we should credit women with the same possibilities as a man: meaning that she could have been just as out for harm as a man sitting there was.

As for me, I would have gone. Instinct has evolved over generations for a reason, and it hasn't disappeared because we've become more "civilized".


----------



## shayinme (Jan 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
I think your response is not a wise one for anyone to follow.

Read the book the "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Studies show the same thing, that people aways say they had a "funny feeling", "a creepy feeling" and just brushed it off, did not want to be perceived rude. You pull the race card, and that is a bullshit card to pull. Women fear all colors and size men. It is a whole other conversatin, not this one.

At 15yrs old my daughter was abducted off a public beach at gun point and raped, she did not follow her gut instinct, and she has a good one as a city kid, she was polite. I certainly never taught her to be polite to strangers.

In the playground I saw a women leading a child out of a park holding his hand, it was not her child the mother started screaming to stop her, and we all ran to help. Everyone in the park than said "oh i had such a creepy feeling about that women waking around the park".

We see stuff all the time and never have a weird feeling, when you get that feeling follow it!

Yet there are times when we get that feeling and it really isn't anything. I read DeBecker's book but as someone who is prone to anxiety attacks if I listened to my gut all the time, my life would be crazy because sometimes I am off. I say listen to your gut but apply some common sense as well, if it had been a man even just sitting in that car, I might have understood better feeling out of sorts but it was a woman. Logically my own mind would have thought someone on a break, not someone who menat me harm.

As for your comment on the race card, that is really offensive as there are women on this board like myself who are women of color or women who are partnered with men of color and the example I gave or BrandiRhoades gave is based in reality. Like I said I see women (generally white) move when they see my son and it may be their gut but a 6'2 preppy teen dressed in Abercrombie and Fitch weraing glasses generally would not be perceived as threatning by most unless he is a person of color. So sometimes our biases do come into play.. heck, when I first moved to Maine, white men in pickup trucks set me off. I have had to work on that to realiaze that not every white man in a pickup means me harm.

Shay


----------



## Kinguk (Jun 26, 2008)

I would have hi-tailed it out of there too. Depending on what my gut was telling me, I may have even called the police.


----------



## *LoveBugMama* (Aug 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yarngoddess* 
I think you did the right thing. Often we assume "Oh, It's just some lady doing xyz, taking a smoke brake..." When our instincts are SCREAMING at us to "Get out of there" we should listen. OP- You did great.

To those of you that think "It's just some lady" when did we LADY's become NON VIOLENT??? Not a threat? Not dopped up on Meth? Women are just as brutal as men in many situations- and many women are very twisted.

By not listening to our instincts, and this is just MY personal opinion, is a in essence ignoring a very huge part of our Motherhood/Womanhood. By ignoring what we feel is creepy, out of place, wrong, or just OFF is putting US and our CHILDREN in a position of Danger- and to me that's never worth the risk to "see" if I was right or wrong.

So- I hope you mom's out there do listen to your instincts. We are given them for a reason...


Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
Posters saying "I sat in my car today" are you afraid of me,
Are missing the point.

Everyone sits in their car waiting for kids, doing work, or wasting time. We see people doing this everyday of our life, and think nothing of it, what makes this situation different is that this normal occurrence set off this mom flight instinct and she smartly listened.

That is what the "gift of fear" is all about.

She did not say every time I see a person sitting in a car I get a creepy feeling, it was this particular situation that set something off. That is why she is not overreacting.

This is what we have to teach our children. Follow their gut.


This.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I'm guessing there was nothing going on with the woman in the car. If the OP actually called the police or something, THAT would have been overreacting. But to just leave for a while and come back later? It's a bit overly cautious maybe but I just don't see the harm and I say it's better to trust your instincts than to go around second-guessing yourself because our instincts aren't ALWAYS right but they are enough of the time that we should listen to them. I agree though that if someone's instincts seem to be racially motivated then that person should do some soul-searching and figure out why and how to change that. To distrust everyone is as useless as to distrust no one. And to base it on something irrelevant like race means that you'll overreact to people of one color AND underreact to people of another. An example - my parents house was broken into and bunches of people saw it happening, but the kids who broke into the house and dragged stuff out to their car in broad daylight were white so they "didn't look like thieves" and no one called the police. And a big sarcastic "thanks" to my parents' stupid racist neighbors.


----------



## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

I have read the book "The Gift of Fear", and what I gleaned from it was that, sure, trust your instincts, but also learn why you have those instincts.

The book gave several true examples of how people's instincts were screaming out at them and, in the moment, these people couldn't quite place why their instincts and gut were screaming at them because the situation was normal-ish. After reviewing their incidents, these victi ms were able to remember and pinpoint subtle details about the otherwise normal appearance of the situation or the attacker that were "off" that their brains noticed subconsciencly.

I don't think the book is really about blindly trusting some obscure gut instinct with absolutely no facts, or based on prejudice or statistics. I think it's about learning to be more in tune with the subtle "off" details of a situation that may happen that your brain tries to subconsciencely tell you about in your gut. I think it's also important to get to know your own prejudices so that you will be able to seperate personal prejudice mindsets and your own issues with anxiety or other emotional issues from true "gut instinct"...(if that makes any sense at all...)

So, to the OP, I'd say go back, review the situation, and try to figure out why your gut was screaming at you. It could be just small vague details that put you off. Was she staring at the kids? Her body language? Did it look like she was hiding her car? Did it look like some one else was with her somewhere?

These are details that no one else knows, only you. And you may not be able to remember them or make sense of the details right away.

Personally, based on what you've told here, I don't think I would have left. I may have if she got out and came closer to the playground or if she drove closer to where I was, or maybe if it seemed like she knew or was with some one who was already out there and that person started coming towards me. People I presume as creepy don't really phase me until I notice that they are focusing their attention on me with intent or they start heading in my direction. But in any case, I don't think you "overreacted" moreso than maybe was being "overly cautious", as a PP stated. No harm done; but I do suggest reviewing why you felt the way you did; you may remember some surprising details that gave you a right to feel that way, or you may discover that you need to relax a little bit.


----------



## bright-midnight (Mar 26, 2007)

I don't think that you over-reacted. I probably would have left as well.


----------



## uumomma (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
Posters saying "I sat in my car today" are you afraid of me,
Are missing the point.

Everyone sits in their car waiting for kids, doing work, or wasting time. We see people doing this everyday of our life, and think nothing of it, what makes this situation different is that this normal occurrence set off this mom flight instinct and she smartly listened.

That is what the "gift of fear" is all about.

She did not say every time I see a person sitting in a car I get a creepy feeling, it was this particular situation that set something off. That is why she is not overreacting.

This is what we have to teach our children. Follow their gut.

what she said


----------



## KnitLady (Jul 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
Women should always follow their gut instincts. Not mine, not yours.

The difference with this situation than all the others she has seen in her life is that Mistymama felt creeped out, and that is enough for her to leave the park.

We all see many people a day and feel nothing about the situation after we see it, someone eating lunch in the car, parent waiting for a kid, finishing a phone, whatever, and we have NO response.

Than all of a sudden you have a gut feeling that something feels wrong.
Always Listen to yourself and never feel as if you you need to be polite to anyone when you feel creeped out!

That is EXACTLY what I wanted to type last night but couldn't because I was holding a sleeping babe.

I do believe that we have instincts for a reason. Our instincts come from all the people we've seen or met in all the years we've been alive. We are aware of so much more than we consciously think about. My best friend got mugged at gun-point because she decided she wanted to show her attackers how friendly and non-racist she was. She didn't listen to her instincts. I don't blame my friend for what happened, but I do think it's sad that we are encouraged not to listen to our gut.

If the OP had said that she saw a women sitting in the car so she left, that would seem a bit odd to me. But because the OP said that she started to get a creepy feeling, I think she did the right thing. I've done the same thing several times. Now, I'm not living in fear and constantly snatching my DS off playgrounds, but it's come up twice in two years. My first and most important job is to protect my DS which I will do at any cost, including offending strangers.


----------



## siobhang (Oct 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617* 
I have read the book "The Gift of Fear", and what I gleaned from it was that, sure, trust your instincts, but also learn why you have those instincts.

exactly.

Yes, DEFINITELY trust your instincts, especially when the result is harmless (yeah, your kid was unhappy, but kids are always unhappy when they leave somewhere fun. You could have had to pee or go pick someone up. He wasn't unhappy due to the reason for your departure).

However, I agree that reviewing this case to figure out what it was that creeped you out is important. It will absolutely figure into the next "gut instinct" moment you have. Those gut instincts don't come out of the blue - they come from experience of picking up on subtle clues. Some people are better at it than others and most people can teach themselves to be better at it.

And yes, we all have biases and things we react more severely to. I tend to get really paranoid about water since I had a dog drown and I was the one to pull him out. So my "instincts" around kids and water are hyper sensitive. My "instincts" about other safety measures are probably less than someone else who has their own negative experiences.

And prejudice can absolutely play into it. I remember working at a store when I was in college, and my boss asked me to pick out of all our customers who I thought were "shoplifting" types. Of course, I picked young kids (and to my embarrassment now, several were AA, which I am certain influenced my suspicion.)

He strongly corrected me, saying ANYONE can be a shoplifter - and the people you least suspect may be the most likely. He taught me to not look at people (where my prejudices about age and racial status would interfere) but to look at behavior - where people kept their hands, how they acted when they knew I was watching them, etc.

So I personally don't think the question really is "did I overreact" but rather "why did my gut tell me this situation was wrong, and what can I take from it?" Your gut may be reacting to some behavior that seemed odd, or your gut may be reacting to something else that may not be relevant.

And while you behavior at the time was totally correct (creepy feeling = remove to safe location, period), the analysis after the fact is equally important to inform future decisions.

My 2 cents.


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shayinme* 
Yet there are times when we get that feeling and it really isn't anything. I read DeBecker's book but as someone who is prone to anxiety attacks if I listened to my gut all the time, my life would be crazy because sometimes I am off. I say listen to your gut but apply some common sense as well, if it had been a man even just sitting in that car, I might have understood better feeling out of sorts but it was a woman. Logically my own mind would have thought someone on a break, not someone who menat me harm.

As for your comment on the race card, that is really offensive as there are women on this board like myself who are women of color or women who are partnered with men of color and the example I gave or BrandiRhoades gave is based in reality. Like I said I see women (generally white) move when they see my son and it may be their gut but a 6'2 preppy teen dressed in Abercrombie and Fitch weraing glasses generally would not be perceived as threatning by most unless he is a person of color. So sometimes our biases do come into play.. heck, when I first moved to Maine, white men in pickup trucks set me off. I have had to work on that to realiaze that not every white man in a pickup means me harm.

Shay


Shay,
If you have an anxiety disorder then it's not for you to follow every anxious gut feeling, but most of us don't have an anxiety disorder, and don't feel this way frequently. It's harder for you to figure out how to keep yourself safe.

I absolutely agree that most White women are afraid of black men and that is absolutely racist. However this situation is not about that. I did not think it was appropriate to let this thread run off into that very heated conversation and direction.

I also know that the national statistic for the race of rapists who rape white women are white men, not black men!


----------



## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Can I play devil's advocate for a minute?

What, exactly, could the woman sitting alone in the car have done that would have been so awful?

Are you guys all picturing her hopping out of the car brandishing an Uzi or something? Because, honestly, other than that extremely unlikely possibility, I can't really see what she could have done that would have warranted leaving the park.

Serious question here.


----------



## grniys (Aug 22, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinaKat* 
Can I play devil's advocate for a minute?

What, exactly, could the woman sitting alone in the car have done that would have been so awful?

Are you guys all picturing her hopping out of the car brandishing an Uzi or something? Because, honestly, other than that extremely unlikely possibility, I can't really see what she could have done that would have warranted leaving the park.

Serious question here.

Women can be just as violent as men. Maybe the mama would have dropped her purse and the woman would have come and stole her child. Maybe the woman DID have a weapon. Maybe she was just sitting there eating her lunch.

I know that I am very paranoid when I'm pregnant and have a young babe. I remember hearing all those awful stories about pregnant women having their unborn babies stolen. I lock the doors when I'm home alone. I always look all around me when I'm walking through a parking lot alone. I pay attention to my surroundings. Not because I think every nice, harmless looking lady is going to come, steal my children and do me harm, but because I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Leaving the park wasn't a big deal. The mama listened to her instincts and for that I applaud her. We should all do the same. When you put being pc or not wanting to disappoint your child or not wanting to be rude over your instincts you are putting yourself in danger. Maybe nothing will happen. But I don't see what's wrong with being cautious because there are bad people in this world who will do you harm, be they male or female. I lock my doors at night, but I certainly don't expect my neighbors to come rob me blind if I don't. I do it to prevent anything from happening. You just never know.


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinaKat* 
Can I play devil's advocate for a minute?

What, exactly, could the woman sitting alone in the car have done that would have been so awful?

Are you guys all picturing her hopping out of the car brandishing an Uzi or something? Because, honestly, other than that extremely unlikely possibility, I can't really see what she could have done that would have warranted leaving the park.

Serious question here.

Yeah I really want to know too. I'm having to really stretch my imagination to figure out what horrible thing was supposedly about to happen. Spies? Terrorists? She's phoning in info to a team of highly trained ninja kidnappers who will soon jump out of the bushes and attack? I mean those are silly answers but I seriously cannot think of what she supposedly was about to do all by herself, sitting in the park, that would be so bad.

And yes women are *capable* of violence to the same degree as men are, but it's a total joke to claim that this means women are equally as *likely* to be violent because they just aren't, by a wide, wide margin. So OK maybe this was the one in one billion women who's a serial killer but somehow I doubt it. Or the one in ten million who is a rapist. Right.


----------



## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

The only thing I can think of if is maybe the OP subconsciencioulsy noticed the woman eyeing her van too hard? Like, (and I dont' know how far the OP parked away from the park) maybe there were a whole bunch of places the lady could have parked but the lady parked right next to her van, and maybe seemed to be waiting to maybe see if the OP was noticing or to see if that was in fact the OP's van, and maybe she was thinking about taking something out of the OP's van? Being that it did seemed to be a very deserted area, based on the OP's description, not many people around to notice it?

I don't know, that's the only thing I could think of based on what I've read.

Of course maybe it was nothing.


----------



## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KnitLady* 
My best friend got mugged at gun-point because she decided she wanted to show her attackers how friendly and non-racist she was. She didn't listen to her instincts.

No, your friend got mugged because some bad people decided to take advantage of her.

If you're going to use hindsight to determine why she got mugged, you'd have to also account for how she shouldn't have left the house ten minutes late that day, how she ought not to have taken that precise route, how she shouldn't have been wearing expensive looking clothes, or whatever -- there are any other number of variables that contributed to the perfect storm of her being in the wrong place at the wrong time and looking like a good target to some predators.

She didn't get mugged *because* she said hi to the attackers. She got mugged *despite* of it.


----------



## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinaKat* 
No, your friend got mugged because some bad people decided to take advantage of her.

If you're going to use hindsight to determine why she got mugged, you'd have to also account for how she shouldn't have left the house ten minutes late that day, how she ought not to have taken that precise route, how she shouldn't have been wearing expensive looking clothes, or whatever -- there are any other number of variables that contributed to the perfect storm of her being in the wrong place at the wrong time and looking like a good target to some predators.

She didn't get mugged *because* she said hi to the attackers. She got mugged *despite* of it.

Very good point.

Quote:

Read the book the "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Studies show the same thing, that people aways say they had a "funny feeling", "a creepy feeling" and just brushed it off, did not want to be perceived rude.
Yes, people say this afterward. In hindsight. Whether it is actually true, though, is another question.


----------



## paphia (Jun 22, 2007)

I don't think that the OP overreacted. If I felt unsafe in a situation, or unable to protect my kids b/c juggling a little baby and my toddler is too much for me if something were to happen, I'd leave.

And even if she was "overreacting", so what? I don't see the harm in it. The harm in not reacting is that she 1. learns to not trust her gut instinct and 2. potentially ends up being profiled by a person who wants to do her and/or her children harm.

I can very easily imagine a woman profiling mothers who go to a small deserted playground with multiple small children in the middle of a small empty town in the middle of the day when no one is around - whether she's doing it for herself or for a male partner. Sounds like a place to find semi-helpless, trusting women and small children to me. Of course it is very unlikely this was why she was there. Who cares why she was there? I'm not the type to go running from people of other races or sexes, but if I had a nagging bad feeling, I'd listen to it, too.


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Profiling for what? Robbery? Rape? I could almost see the robbery thing, like if she was casing to see what parking lots had cars with good loot in them and were unattended during certain hours. Anything more violent than that is just really stretching the limits of my imagination, though.

Too much Law and Order, people!


----------



## paphia (Jun 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *whalemilk* 
Profiling for what? Robbery? Rape? I could almost see the robbery thing, like if she was casing to see what parking lots had cars with good loot in them and were unattended during certain hours. Anything more violent than that is just really stretching the limits of my imagination, though.

Too much Law and Order, people!









Since you're asking for what a woman and little kids could possibly be profiled - robbery, purse snatching, rape, kidnapping, molestation, murder, panhandling, scamming, wife swapping, girl scout cookie solicitations...

Again, my point is: Why does it matter that she listened to her gut nagging that something felt wrong just because it doesn't happen that often? If it *never* happened there'd be no tv shows about it. I certainly don't want a tv show based on my real-life drama.

Why be so dismissive? If you choose to not live your life fearing/reacting to those possibilities, that's your choice. No one is going to fault you for not feeling uneasy about a lady sitting in her car during lunch time near a park. I think we should respect the OP's gut reaction because it is within a range of normalcy for that situation. Just as not being worried about it is also normal.


----------



## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *paphia* 
I think we should respect the OP's gut reaction because it is within a range of normalcy for that situation. Just as not being worried about it is also normal.

I guess my point is that I don't think her reaction *was* within a range of normalcy for that situation.

Has anyone ever heard of one woman attacking another at the playground, killing/injuring her and/or her children? Perhaps I lead an extremely sheltered life, but I've been on playgrounds almost daily for the last 8 years, talking to lord knows how many women, and I've never heard of such a thing.

Fearing another woman at the playground - and not even at the playground, but at a remove, in a car! - is simply not in the range of normalcy. Trust one's instincts, yes. But trust them regarding what might be a dicey situation. Which this was not, in my opinion.

As to "profiling," if one is going to think that way, one might as well stay in the house all day. I suppose anyone encountered in daily life could be considered a potential "profiler." But that's certainly not the way I view the world.

I don't mean to be dismissive of the OP; she did ask if we thought she overreacted. I think she did.


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I guess my point is that I don't think her reaction *was* within a range of normalcy for that situation.

Has anyone ever heard of one woman attacking another at the playground, killing/injuring her and/or her children? Perhaps I lead an extremely sheltered life, but I've been on playgrounds almost daily for the last 8 years, talking to lord knows how many women, and I've never heard of such a thing.

Fearing another woman at the playground - and not even at the playground, but at a remove, in a car! - is simply not in the range of normalcy. Trust one's instincts, yes. But trust them regarding what might be a dicey situation. Which this was not, in my opinion.

Yeah that is kind of what I am getting at too.

Now I don't automatically assume that all women are harmless just because they are women. For instance, when my daughter was about one we encountered this woman who was just too interested in her, too eager, and too much in general. Something about it weirded me out because it was beyond just the typical annoying "lonely granny in the supermarket" grabbiness. This was a woman we knew socially and encountered regularly, and eventually she made me uncomfortable enough that we changed our social habits to avoid her completely. I never would have left my daughter alone with her and I definitely put up some firm boundaries when she started encroaching on us. But in reality, I don't think she was a child molestor or anything like that, I think she was just a really screwy person with messed up boundaries. But I did have a bad feeling about her, so we avoided her.

Realistically though, a random stranger woman who isn't even approaching you doesn't seem like even the vaguest threat.


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I guess my point is that I don't think her reaction *was* within a range of normalcy for that situation.
Has anyone ever heard of one woman attacking another at the playground, killing/injuring her and/or her children? Perhaps I lead an extremely sheltered life, but I've been on playgrounds almost daily for the last 8 years, talking to lord knows how many women, and I've never heard of such a thing.
Fearing another woman at the playground - and not even at the playground, but at a remove, in a car! - is simply not in the range of normalcy. Trust one's instincts, yes. But trust them regarding what might be a dicey situation. Which this was not, in my opinion.
As to "profiling," if one is going to think that way, one might as well stay in the house all day. I suppose anyone encountered in daily life could be considered a potential "profiler." But that's certainly not the way I view the world.

I don't mean to be dismissive of the OP; she did ask if we thought she overreacted. I think she did.

Don't live in a bubble. I live in a city where a lot of shit happens and you follow your instincts. Shit happens anyway even when you try to follow your gut! My child was 15 and taken off a public beach in Westerly RI in daylight by a rapist with a gun!

I was in a playground on West 93rd in Central Park and a women who was in a suit (looks like a mom who came home from work) wandered around the playground for a while, and walked out with a little boy by the hand. The mother of the little boy noticed as they exited the playground and ran screaming after her child, the women ran away!

One of the Doulas who works for my service, her husband was pushing their six month old in a stroller coming out of the bank on 8th Street in the village. A well dressed nice looking older women started chatting with him about the baby, how cute, she used to babysit, something a bit off, but he continued to be polite saw no harm, then asked if she could hold the baby, she took the baby from the stroller and all of a sudden he got hit on the head, she handed the baby to some man running and the she took off to the subway.
People ran after them, the police found the women and man in the subway a few stops away with the baby.

That was not the first time this incident happened it was just the first time this women succeeded in getting the baby, the police had other reports with similar description people trying to take baby's out of the carriage.

So women do scary shit just as men do.

Stuff happens. Follow your instincts.


----------



## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

Yes, sure, women can do bad things. But this woman had not approached the OP, asked to hold her child, attempted to abduct her or even interacted with her in any way. The woman was not even on the playground. She was far from the OP, in her car. I live in a big city, too, and I don't think it's living in a bubble to consider this a benign situation.


----------



## blazer (May 6, 2007)

If you felt uncomfortable then you did the right thing for you.

However I am another working mom, who routinely stops near parks to check my email, have lunch or even have a conference call with an ear peice so it appears I am just sitting in a car too.


----------



## dewi (Jul 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
Yes, sure, women can do bad things. But this woman had not approached the OP, asked to hold her child, attempted to abduct her or even interacted with her in any way. The woman was not even on the playground. She was far from the OP, in her car. I live in a big city, too, and I don't think it's living in a bubble to consider this a benign situation.


Read the whole thread.
The original poster felt creepy that was enough, since she did not say she regularly freaks out over strangers in cars. We all sit in cars and wait.

The whole Gestalt of this one particular experience and women in the car made her feel creepy, it is not a big deal she moved on with her kids.


----------



## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gabysmom617* 
The only thing I can think of if is maybe the OP subconsciencioulsy noticed the woman eyeing her van too hard?

Concern for the van probably is more likely than actual concern for the children. I don't know of many instances where someone drove a car to steal another one, however. It doesn't make sense, and yes I've lived in large cities where car thefts - my own included - happened all the time.

OTOH, the OP had to go by the woman in the car to get into her van to leave. Nothing happened. If I were about to attack a woman and her children, then I'd do it when they were getting into the car. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I'm seating everyone and getting them buckled, that's when I'm least aware of my surroundings because I'm focused on getting everyone situated.


----------



## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
Concern for the van probably is more likely than actual concern for the children. I don't know of many instances where someone drove a car to steal another one, however. It doesn't make sense, and yes I've lived in large cities where car thefts - my own included - happened all the time.

OTOH, the OP had to go by the woman in the car to get into her van to leave. Nothing happened. If I were about to attack a woman and her children, then I'd do it when they were getting into the car. I don't know about the rest of you, but when I'm seating everyone and getting them buckled, that's when I'm least aware of my surroundings because I'm focused on getting everyone situated.

Actually, I didn't mean to actually steal the van, but to steal something out of it. Still highly unlikely, I was just saying that's the only I could possibly think of.


----------



## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

yup, go with your gut. Better to look foolish for leaving than foolish for not leaving and having a reason to be sorry about.


----------



## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
I think you over reacted.

Have we become so afraid of each other that we have to leave a public place because another person is there? Doing nothing? I would have stayed.

Me too.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
Women should always follow their gut instincts.

I agree with this in general. But I do know two women who that doesn't apply for. One has panic attacks, and the other just has been hurt by people over and over so assumes people will hurt her and her child. So having known two women with "bad" gut instincts, I don't think ALL instincts are ALWAYS right. But I do agree that leaving for a different location is a better safe than sorry plan. I just think it was way overkill in the OP's situation.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dewi* 
Read the book the "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Studies show the same thing, that people aways say they had a "funny feeling", "a creepy feeling" and just brushed it off, did not want to be perceived rude. We see stuff all the time and never have a weird feeling, when you get that feeling follow it!

I LOVE The Gift of Fear, and think Gavin de Becker is brilliant! I have actually bought at least ten copies of that book to give as gifts. BUT I am wondering if the OP thinks that a woman in a car near hers near a park when no one else is around is odd in itself, if that specific scenario would worry her another day with another car and another woman. If so, then I think her instincts are off.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MayBaby2007* 
I was robbed at my job in December of 06, when I was pregnant. I *knew* something was going to happen. I felt it. I knew it. But....I didn't want to assume and be rude and deny the guy service. The panick button that's usually on the wall was in my hand instead. I knew something bad was going to happen so I had that panick button hidden in the palm of my hand. As soon as the bad guy said the magic words, I pressed the button. He took the money, nobody was hurt. Cops were able to catch him and he pleaded guilty. I didn't listen to my gut that time.

A few months later there was another guy at my job and my instincts screamed at me--danger, danger, danger. I knew something wasn't right. I refused service (didn't let him in the building, made up an excuse). He went to a nearby business and robbed them instead.

These are perfect Gift of Fear examples. You may not be able to pick out the reason, but something was off, and your subconscious noticed it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kinguk* 
I would have hi-tailed it out of there too. Depending on what my gut was telling me, I may have even called the police.

Called the police? Really? "911, what is your emergency?" "There is a woman sitting in a car near the park on 3rd and Broadway!"









Quote:


Originally Posted by *paphia* 
I think we should respect the OP's gut reaction because it is within a range of normalcy for that situation. Just as not being worried about it is also normal.

But like others have stated, we don't all agree that the OP's response was within the range of normal for that situation. Quite a few of us have voted exactly the opposite.

If the OP gave us more info, we might feel differently. Did she just come from the bank, where she had a conversation (that anyone could overhear)with the teller about cashing her tax refund, then put a wad of bills in her purse - right before driving to the park - in a town that has a known meth problem - with many reports of purse snatchings at local parks?

Now the OP knows all the details of that situation, some of them subconscious that she may not even realize. So if she has reasonable instincts, even though it seems like overreacting to many of us here, I would support her leaving. I do think it was unnecessary though.


----------



## whalemilk (Jul 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kirsten* 
Called the police? Really? "911, what is your emergency?" "There is a woman sitting in a car near the park on 3rd and Broadway!"









LOL hey the 911 operator needs funny stories to tell on her web forums too!


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Yikes, don't have time to go through and read ALL the responses the cropped up as I was prepping for my garage sale (made a whopping $45...bah...) but I do thank you for them and when I'm not nak I'll buzz back through.

Any-hoo, in response to a few race questions I gleaned, AFAI could tell she was white, and just going by the racial make up of my town (97% white) I'm simply going to assume that she was. Had she been another race (again, couldn't tell) I can't say as that would have changed my response because just the fact that she was parked alone, on a dead street when there are 5 dozen other equally quiet residential streets within a half a mile it freaked me out.

And honestly, in my 'freak out' mode I had the presence of mind to 'hit unlock button' put boy in (on the pass side, simply because we were parked on the street and I don't like taking him into the road to strap him in since his carseat is on the drivers side, so I open the front door and he climbs though) shut passenger door, open back door, lock doors. Strap daughter in, close door, go around, unlock doors, strap boy in, open my door, lock doors, drive away







(which is what I do when I happen to find myself in a less than desirable neighborhood in the city...which isn't very often, but once in a while James has to pee andhe has to pee NOW)

I guess it's too much CNN...I'm not pregnant, but the whole baby snatching from utero, kidnapping a la law & order or whatever. There are 9 million things that COULD have happened considering there was no one around.

Or it could have just been a lady on her lunch break having a ciggeratte since 75% of the major employeers in our area have banned smoking on their property. *shrug* Who knows...

Either way, no harm done to either party. My son got over his fit. We came home, had a snack and went back later in the day (when it wasn't so blessed hot anyway!)...and after school hours so there were LOTS of people around and I truthfully felt more safe. I'll probably continue to go back to that park in the middle of the day (until it gets too cold) because it's the only toddler friendly park in the area...


----------



## Elizabeth2008 (Nov 26, 2008)

whenever you're uncomfortable - follow your instincts, if for no other reason than you would have been miserable and not enjoyed yourself if you had stayed. Better to just remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation. Your son will get over it


----------



## Elizabeth2008 (Nov 26, 2008)

And although I don't blame you at all for leaving when you felt uncomfortable, I think someone's suggestion that they might have called the police is ridiculous. It's not a crime in this country to sit in your car, thank god.


----------



## cishi (Jan 1, 2009)

A parent's instinct will always be as powerful as ever. You did not overreact you just showed that the safety of your children should not be put to risk..


----------



## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Elizabeth2008* 
And although I don't blame you at all for leaving when you felt uncomfortable, I think someone's suggestion that they might have called the police is ridiculous. It's not a crime in this country to sit in your car, thank god.

Ditto this. I don't think you OVERREACTED, necessarily. Calling the police most definitely would have been overreacting. I'm sure there was a good logical explanation as to why she was sitting in her car. I sit in mine quite often. If you were uncomfortable of course you should leave the situation, though.


----------

