# Any advice for a three year old who takes forever to fall asleep?



## apmama (Jul 22, 2004)

My dd who is three and a half takes forever to fall asleep! I'm talking two hours usually. She likes to start out the night in her sister's room, so we read our books there and then lights out. Myself or my husband then lay with her while she fidgets, wiggles, talks, anything to keep from falling asleep! She gets lots of exercise everyday and I almost think she is overtired and needs a nap based on her behavior many afternoons. She wakes up around 8 every morning and we start the bedtime routine around 8:30 at night. If we let her stay up till she falls asleep on her own it's about 11:30, then she's miserable the next day. Any advice is most appreicated! The other kids always fell asleep pretty quickly.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I don't know, my dd does the same thing. Sometimes I find her playing at 2 AM and then she's totally hard to deal with the next day.

I hate to even admit this but on very rare nights when she's not going to sleep and we have something to do the next day where I need her to be her best, I give her 1/2 dose of children's Benadryl. It works better than I care to admit.

I've tried music, massage, white noise, and herbal dream pillow, sleepy time tea. What works is just to let her teach herself to go to sleep, let her nap the next day if she needs to, and just hope she outgrows this eventually.

I am pushing for a sleep study referral from our ped though, just to rule out apnea. It runs in my family. I don't think she has it but it might come up with other reasons why she can't sleep, who knows?

Darshani


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## beth568 (Jul 1, 2004)

Well, I wish I had something more to offer, but all I can say is that my almost-3 year old is the same. She's never been a "good" sleeper - it often takes her a LONG time to settle down. We had a few months where it was quick, right after she stopped napping - she'd fall asleep in about 15 minutes. But now we're back to the same old thing - she tosses, turns, talks, sings, asks to get up, etc. It happens no matter what time we try to get her to sleep.

In our case, I think my DD has a lot of trouble making transitions, and in some situations we've come up with strategies to make it easier, but nighttime is always tough. And she wakes up at more or less the same time in the morning, no matter what happens at night.









I'm sorry it's the same struggle for you. All I can do is offer sympathy...


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## rowantree (May 8, 2004)

ITS ALL ABOUT THE TRANSITIONS (sorry caps). my oldest is 6 now, she coud never go to sleep. I just let her stay up, and I put dark curtains in our/her room so she would sleep late in the morning. That was THE ONLY thing that worked. It severely cuts doen on couple time with DH but it was worth it not having that 2 hour fight every night. It wasnt until this year (6) that she can deal with going to bed and thats a large part to do with school and getting up at 6, and she still has to watch a movie from 7-1o and the comes in and needs music. except this last week when shes been falling asleep 3/4 way through the movie.
good luck


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## Drewsmom (Jan 12, 2002)

Yes, I definitely can say some things that helped us. I have a 3 1/2 year old and he gave up naps a while back. Since he gave up naps he is tired from about 3pm on but if he takes a nap then he naps a long time and won't go to sleep until 11pm. However if I can catch him early in the evening he goes right to sleep just about. Like even as early as starting the routine around 6/6:30pm and he's asleep by 7pm. I know it sounds utterly crazy but I swear he goes to sleep so easily and generally stays asleep, sometimes he'll wake up around 2am and come in with us but for example last night it was a crazy, busy day and he stayed up til 8:30pm/9pm and he woke up at 11pm crying, I believe b/c he was overtired and overstimulated. If he goes to sleep earlier he sleeps better and doesn't reach that state of exhaustion where he's super excitable.

I got that idea from The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Her routine ideas really helped. I never got my oldest to go to sleep without nursing til he was older but we did get into a much better bedtime routine which has helped soooo much. Good luck.


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## mommybritt (Nov 19, 2001)

Like the pp said, what about starting bedtime earlier? Our 3 1/2 year old has a window of sleepiness around 6:45-7:15 and if we miss it, she's up forever







So, our routine is dinner around 5:30pm, bath 6ish, in bed and stories 6:30pm and lights off by 7pm. Usually works... We used to put her to bed around 8 and it was a huge struggle, she was doing anything but sleeping - talking, singing, etc, etc.

Also, what about leaving her once she's in bed for a bit? We used to stay with her until she fell asleep every night and we still try to most nights but with two 8 month old babies, sometimes we're not able to. When we started, whoever was with her would get her all settled and then "go to the bathroom" and come back a few minutes later and then "need to put the laundry in the dryer" and come back 5 or 10 minutes later, etc. We would always go right back if she called but we found more often than not that it was fine and she'd be asleep by the time we got back from one of our errands (and sometimes we actually *did* do the laundry!). I was surprised that this worked as dd has always been very needy at bedtime but it's been great!


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## apmama (Jul 22, 2004)

Thanks so very much all of you. All of your responses are very helpful. Its so reassuring to know you're not alone. I'm going to try for the earlier bit and see what happens! THANK YOU MAMA"S!!!


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## Embee (May 3, 2002)

Hope things are better for you Jen. Indeed, I have to concur about the earlier bedtimel. It's been extremely helpful for us as well. Generally, we're on a 12 hour wake/12 hour sleep routine, no nap and plenty of fresh air and exersize. He falls asleep easier and sleeps better if I get him to be by that 12 hour mark. Any later, and it's dicey... nightwaking, falling asleep is difficult, wakes up too early next day. We're all cranky. Not fun!

Hang in there and best of luck!


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