# bed time routines?????



## Momma Aimee (Jul 8, 2003)

Calling all Mommas -- I want to hear about your bed time routines.

what works

what does not

when did you start it

how did it evolve

is it by event (after dinner we X) or by time (at 7 pm we X)

Theo is only 7 months old, but I want to start something now, so when he is 2 it is just natural and not something i am trying to creat THEN.

Also my hope (







) is that when it comes time to move him to his own bed -- if bed time is a 10 step process and the bed is the final step, and that step changes (his bed, not mine) but the other 9 steps are the same.... welllll lgically, to me, that should make the change easier (????).

What are all you mommas doing?

and how did it change when you weaned?

Aimee


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## TattooedMama (Aug 31, 2005)

:

Waiting anxiously for all the responses....
We need help creating a new bedtime routine here for my 20 month old before we have baby #3....
and by "new" bedtime routine I mean ANY bedtime routine!


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## EAGA (Feb 16, 2006)

:

I'm interested in hearing this as well. We just started a routine with dd. Here is how it goes;

8:15pm bath
8:30pm pj's
8:40pm three books
9pm bottle
bed!!!!!

Ha! I wish it were that simple, like I said we just started, it is NOT as structured as that though, times vary and we have "skipped a night". DD has not been sleeping well at night (teething?) , but we keep trying.


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## familylove (Mar 14, 2006)

Ds is nearly 4, but we started a routine when he was about 2. (Before that, it was nurse to sleep and hope like heck I could get out of bed without waking him







). After we stopped nursing (around one) we really flailed around for something that would work for us. Anyhoo, at this point we:

8:00 Five min. warning--bathtime is approaching
8:05 Bathtime
8:30 Out of bath and brush teeth
8:35 Pjs
8:40 2 books
8:50 We talk about his day (all the things he did) and say "goodbye" to this day
8:55 Sing a lullabye

We do the same routine every night, but not always at the same time. (IE: no nap during the day=bed 45 min-1 hour earlier). He usually gets up a few times after I leave and we put him back in bed. Some nights are better than others.

I've also heard a lot of people using massage (DS just doesn't jive with it).

Good luck with establishing your routine


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## mmfoote (Mar 6, 2006)

Well, I wish I could tell you that we have had the same routine from the time he was 7 mos until now







It seems to switch every few months, which sometimes drives me crazy because I am a really structured person, but when it seems like he's not going down as easily as he was before than we go back, reevaluate, and modify.

Currently, it's:

Dinner (Sometime between 5-6)
Then shower (we don't have a bathtub in this house, yet!)
PJ's and brush teeth (hopefully finishing before or around 6:45)
DS1 plays with daddy while I nurse DS2 in bed
DS1 comes up at around 7p (and hopefully DS2 is asleep)
Prayer
Reading time (we read in bed with a flashlight and only chapter books with limited
pictures, otherwise its too stimulating)
End of reading time (about 7:30)
DS1 spends the next 15 minutes rolling around, "playing" with my hair, talking to himself,
while I pretend to already be asleep. (I wish I could interact with him during
this time, but have found that if I do, he just stays up longer and still wakes
up at 5am







: )

Waiting to see what others post. Bedtime is always an interesting topic to me!


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## guerrillamama (Oct 27, 2003)

Need help with my bedtime routine, so hoping to get some ideas here. Ds is 2.5 yo. All times very approx.

8:15 - Put in Kipper dvd; while watching, put lotion all over his poor little eczema ridden body, put on pajamas, take Benadryl*, and brush teeth.
9:15 - Go to bed and read books (usually the same 3; if he's a little more hyper I'll let him pick out 1 or 2 more)
9:30 - Lights out. If he lets me, I tell him a made up story about himself. But usually, he just demands "num." Nurse to sleep - could take 2 min or 20.

I'm looking for ideas of other steps to add on to the routine, because I do want to nightwean. So I feel like I need more good stuff to make bedtime really attractive...

*The Benadryl is a recent addition. I'm far from thrilled about it, but his eczema has gotten so bad, he was frequently scratching himself raw at night. There was blood on the sheets in the morning. Some nights he would wake up screaming.







Still searching for causes and other treatments. It does knock him out, tho. Bedtime has gone from a stressful ordeal that I dreaded all day long to something that is occasionally frustrating.


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## anarchamama (Mar 4, 2005)

Our bedtime routine with DS #1 (3YO) is after dinner bath usually around 7 (this routine was rock solid untill this summer when we aort of let the bath slide in order to get more outdoor time). Papa takes him upstairs to put on pj's then I nurse him (though I am planning on weaning this summer), then 2 stories and lights out, then we talk and tell stories or sing songs untill he falls asleep, I tend to be 1 story 1 song be quiet go to sleep. Papa has a lot more patience and will elt him chatter on forever, but I spend all day with him so I think its their quality time. He didn't fall into this routhine predictable untill about 1 year old. Now he has a little bro who is 5 months who seems to have just fallen right into the routine, so now I nurse him to sleep while papa puts older one to sleep all in one bed. The I usually just stay in there between then and turn the light on an dread once they ar asleep. As for night weaning, I had my SO do the bedtime routine for awhile untill he forgot about nursing to sleep. He still has a nurse before bed but we do it somewhere else and not laying down, so he gets to nurse on the couch or whatever, and then get up and brush teeth. So its part of the routine but not nursing to sleep. HTH. It used to be that if we messed up any part ds would be up way longer, but as he gets older and sleeps better we are more flexable with the routine and he still goes to bed ok. Most nights he is asleep by 8-8:30 but I'm aiming for earlier come sept cause he still get sup at 5.







:


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## SonjaW (Sep 16, 2005)

Annabelle is 7 months and we haven't been doing this routine for long (3 wks), but here it is:

bath
getting into jammies and a clean diaper
reading 2 books
being carried to the basement
turn on the sleep sheep to the heartbeat sound
nurse in a sidelying position

I works wonderfully for putting her to sleep (we were having huge meltdowns before we started this routine). We tend to get her down between 6-7pm depending on how busy we were that evening. We are having some issues with her waking up for good at 3:30am...not sure if bedtime is too early or what.
She goes to sleep in the basement (where it is dark and cool), on our spare bed (we don't own a crib or anything) and we keep a monitor on her so if she wakes we can attend to her. Then when we are ready for bed, we bring her up to our bed to sleep the rest of the night.

I'm really liking it!

Good Luck!


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Up until recently, our routine used to be: go to bed, nurse to sleep, bliss until morning. At seven months, we have run into some problems and are trying to get a better routine together. Right now it's

--Massage
--Jammies & dipe change
--dance/sway to a couple of soothing songs
--into bed. try nursing lying down. nope. try nursing sitting up. nope. try nursing hanging upside down from the ceiling. ooh, baby likes this one!
--roll around on bed, chewing toes, crowing, making sleepy mama crazy
--eventually mama hollers for help from daddy
--daddy walks DD up and down dark hallway
--back to bed - more nursing acrobatics.
--poop
--holler for daddy
--dipe change
--dark hallway
--bed/roll around
--repeat until mama goes insane. great routine, huh?


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## EStraiton (Sep 6, 2005)

Here is an old post on my blog with our evening rhythm:

http://eileensplace.blogspot.com/200...ng-rhythm.html


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## Canadianmommax3 (Mar 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mmfoote*
Well, I wish I could tell you that we have had the same routine from the time he was 7 mos until now







It seems to switch every few months, which sometimes drives me crazy because I am a really structured person, but when it seems like he's not going down as easily as he was before than we go back, reevaluate, and modify.

Currently, it's:

Dinner (Sometime between 5-6)
Then shower (we don't have a bathtub in this house, yet!)
PJ's and brush teeth (hopefully finishing before or around 6:45)
DS1 plays with daddy while I nurse DS2 in bed
DS1 comes up at around 7p (and hopefully DS2 is asleep)
Prayer
Reading time (we read in bed with a flashlight and only chapter books with limited
pictures, otherwise its too stimulating)
End of reading time (about 7:30)
DS1 spends the next 15 minutes rolling around, "playing" with my hair, talking to himself,
while I pretend to already be asleep. (I wish I could interact with him during
this time, but have found that if I do, he just stays up longer and still wakes
up at 5am







: )

Waiting to see what others post. Bedtime is always an interesting topic to me!

lol that sounds like us, i have to roll over with my back to Jenna, than she will eventually snuggle into my back with her leg thrown over my side.
If i face her she thinks she can chat all night.







:


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## Qestia (Sep 26, 2005)

We started a routine way before DS was sleeping through the night too, and we've kept to it. He's 13 months now.

7:30 bath
7:45 story with daddy
after that a big bottle
then hopefully sleep by 8-8:15

some nights, though, it just doesn't seem to click, and when it doesn't, I've found it's best to just let him do his own thing for another 20 min then try another story and see what happens.


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## Momma Aimee (Jul 8, 2003)

Quote:

Up until recently, our routine used to be: go to bed, nurse to sleep, bliss until morning. At seven months, we have run into some problems and are trying to get a better routine together. Right now it's

--Massage
--Jammies & dipe change
--dance/sway to a couple of soothing songs
--into bed. try nursing lying down. nope. try nursing sitting up. nope. try nursing hanging upside down from the ceiling. ooh, baby likes this one!
--roll around on bed, chewing toes, crowing, making sleepy mama crazy
--eventually mama hollers for help from daddy
--daddy walks DD up and down dark hallway
--back to bed - more nursing acrobatics.
--poop
--holler for daddy
--dipe change
--dark hallway
--bed/roll around
--repeat until mama goes insane. great routine, huh?
MY POINT EXCATLY -- do you live in my house too ???

we are 7 months

and all of the suddent we don't sleep -- we roll, we pull hair, we giggle, we climb momma, we push the boob away.......

only Daddy is NO help. "I can't put himt o bed, that is your thing, he cires if i try and won't sleep" like he is sleeping for ME?????? I think DH is afraid of a crying baby ANYTIME ds cried "he needs his momma"

or if I get up an ddrop him in dad's arms to go to bathroom, or just not sceam -- daddy starts "active play" jumping, an dtossing and so on -- "well he is happy isn't he?" and yes most 6 year olds would be happy with M&Ms and coke for breaskfast -- what is your point?

so I walk in laps in our room. I rock. I lay ther as the rolls around, and i get more and more fustrated as i think the the laundy to fold, the dishes from dinner the food yet to be put away, the diaper bag to pack for the outting tomorrow, thebox to tape up for eh mail.....knowing no matter how long it takes to get baby to sleep i HAVE to get back up and do my chores (knowing also DH is watching tv sitting by the clean laundry to fold).

then when i do get him to sleep it takes 2 or 3 attempts before i can get up -- and with me up -- he only sleeps 30 to 60 minutes before he is holling for me........

momma is tired.

do bed time routines work????????????????????

Aimee


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## anarchamama (Mar 4, 2005)

I think they sorta work but developing babies work harder







. I would say stick to some routine an dit will get easier but be flexable to, if babies not sleeping, then get up and wear them while you get stuff done, or take a book up to bed so at least you aren't feeling crazy while they goof around. and kick DH's ass, my dh is really good about doing stuff, but if yours isn't give him a list of the things that need to be done and tell him to keep att it untill you return. Or if you are comfortable with it, ask him to work on putting dc to bed even if they cry, this is a judgement call obviously I don't think crying in papas arms is the same as CIO, but I didn't do it untill my kids were older. I went back to working some evenings when DS was about 10 months and DH had to put him to bed, there were a few tears, but soon they had their own routine without the boob there to mediate all the time, and I think its payed off inhow close they are now..........

Heather


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## alijased (Jun 1, 2006)

Here is a schedule of what SOME days are like for my DD (7 mos):

6pm get home from daycare, might be nappin in the car
6:30 go for a walk outside or lay blanket down in yard or living room and play and nurse, whatever DD wants
7:30 start to microwave my dinner (ha) and mash up some food for DD
8 pm all done with dinner
8:15 bath
8:30 out of bath-jammies-massage
8:45 read book (or eat book)
9pm nurse to sleep


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## RootBeerFloat (Nov 22, 2005)

DD is 15 months old.

We eat dinner when she's hungry, between 5-5:30

if she is really sleepy, i take a shower when we are finished and dh is home (usually 6 or 6:15) and then dd has a bath

if she's not sleepy, we take a walk as a family and then do shower/bath 6:45ish, because by then she is sleepy

after bath we all go lay down in our family bed together. we might do a massage, maybe play some body games (this little piggy or gentle rocking back and forth), depends on dd's mood. when she's ready, she nurses to sleep or sometimes falls asleep on her own. usually by 7:45, almost always by 8.

We started a bedtime routine with her when she was really young, maybe 4 months. It consisted of a bath, massage, swaddle, feeding. Over time it has gotten earlier and the order of things and the way we do things has shifted. I used to put her to sleep in a rocking chair or bouncing on an exercise ball, for example. Around 9 mo she didn't want that anymore, so we started falling asleep together in bed.

I think it's important to incorporate your baby's cues as much as possible. The point, for us, is to help her calm down her nervous system so she can fall asleep when she's ready to sleep, not put her to sleep when we want her to go to bed.

I don't intend to wean my daughter, we practice child led weaning, so I'm sorry that I can't help you there.


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

what works

*Bath
Book
Nurse to sleep (while I nurse one to sleep, DH is with the other reading, or doing something quiet) and put them down fully asleep in their beds....
If they are not ready to fall asleep right away... more quiet play and then try again later...*

what does not
*
trying to force sleep... if they fuss etc then they are not ready... usually 20-30 min later we try again and they are our within a few minutes...*

when did you start it

*birth*

is it by event (after dinner we X) or by time (at 7 pm we X)

*Event and cues... after supper, sometimes bath time is earlier or later depending on the day we had, how tired they are etc...

As for weaning... both boys are nursed and when ds weans himself it will probably be when he is ready to fall asleep in another way... however, more and more often he falls asleep while DH reads a story....*


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aimee21972*
MY POINT EXCATLY -- do you live in my house too ???

we are 7 months

and all of the suddent we don't sleep -- we roll, we pull hair, we giggle, we climb momma, we push the boob away.......

only Daddy is NO help. "I can't put himt o bed, that is your thing, he cires if i try and won't sleep" like he is sleeping for ME?????? I think DH is afraid of a crying baby ANYTIME ds cried "he needs his momma"

or if I get up an ddrop him in dad's arms to go to bathroom, or just not sceam -- daddy starts "active play" jumping, an dtossing and so on -- "well he is happy isn't he?" and yes most 6 year olds would be happy with M&Ms and coke for breaskfast -- what is your point?

so I walk in laps in our room. I rock. I lay ther as the rolls around, and i get more and more fustrated as i think the the laundy to fold, the dishes from dinner the food yet to be put away, the diaper bag to pack for the outting tomorrow, thebox to tape up for eh mail.....knowing no matter how long it takes to get baby to sleep i HAVE to get back up and do my chores (knowing also DH is watching tv sitting by the clean laundry to fold).

then when i do get him to sleep it takes 2 or 3 attempts before i can get up -- and with me up -- he only sleeps 30 to 60 minutes before he is holling for me........

momma is tired.

do bed time routines work????????????????????

Aimee

I hear you, Aimee! Seven months is such a strange time. I swear she has morphed into a different baby. Well, I don't have much wisdom because we are in the same boat! But a couple of thoughts...

Very early on I gave up trying to sneak away once DD was asleep for the night. We go to bed at the same time. This can be aggravating cause I tend to be tireder than her! But ultimately it means that once she's asleep, she stays asleep, because I'm right next to her - most of the time, anyway. So, I do my must-do chores by getting up way early in the morning after her wee-hours nurse - usually between 5 and 6 am. With any luck (and of course, sometimes there isn't any) I then have at least an hour to myself before she's up for the day.

Now, I agree with an earlier post - you need to kick your DH's ass. Tell him very specific ways he can spend time with DS without getting him all stimulated. Men need very clear instructions sometimes. Like, "OK, DH, you are allowed to read a book with DS, or you can walk him up and down, or you can sing to him. You are not allowed to throw him up in the air or shake a noisy toy in his face." Better yet, incorporate DH into your routine. With us, DH does the dancing/swaying with DD as well as the change into jammies and any dipe changes. This gives me a chance to get into my own nightgown, brush teeth, etc. (DH stays up late with schoolwork.) Once I'm in bed, I try not to get out of it. That means DH is on duty for future dipe changes and hallway walking. I will say that I'm not so sure I'm doing the right thing when I can't take it anymore and holler to him for help. Possibly passing DD back and forth keeps her too stimulated - maybe there should be a once-in-bed-stay-in-bed policy for her too. Oh well...we're working on it...


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## LeAnnie (Mar 3, 2004)

We keep it fairly simple at my house:

almost 7 month old ds' routine

I dance with him to one or two songs
Then we lay down and nurse until the sandman comes
Mama sneaks away
This all takes place around 7-730

Then the night owl party starts
dd and dh get wild and crazy and I watch them dreaming that dd will go to sleep before I do
dd's routine is bedtime snack
toothbrushing
sometimes a bath
pre bed potty
get in bed with me and ds
I'm too tired to read at this point (9:30)
We talk 4yo stream of thoughts until she falls asleep

dh and I are experimenting with dd getting in bed with her dolls to go to sleep alone. We try to do this and sometimes it works!
I never had a routine with dd other than nursing until age 2.


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## guerrillamama (Oct 27, 2003)

boongirl, are you a sahm?

wohp's gotta get up in the morning, and our babies gotta get up with us. and we need sleep too, or else everybody's cranky. if my son's not asleep by 10:30 pm, the next day is guaranteed to suck for me, him, his babysitter, my co-workers, my roommate, my roommate's co-workers....


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## paxye (Mar 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boongirl*
My opinion is that routines are a recipe for an unsuccessful bedtime experience. Everyone I know with babes under age 5 who is trying or has tried a bedtime routine to get kids to go to bed at a set time is frustrated and spends way more time than those I know, and myself, who just go with the flow and put the kids to bed when they are sleepy.

I think where people go wrong is the set time... but I do like having a routine... for us it just sets up the mood... the routine starts depending on the day and the kids (not because of the time), bath helps calm them and they love the time that DH spends with them in the bath... then the actual going to bed/nursing to sleep depends on their cues...
I have never had a battle with bedtime for neither of my boys, they sleep though the night and nap if they want to... the rest of our day has a loose routine (wake up, breakfast, do whatever, lunch, do whatever, supper, bath, sleep)

I do not believe in schedules though and I agree that if you have a set time in your head then you are stting yourslef up for disaster in many cases...


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## Dido (Jan 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boongirl*
My opinion is that routines are a recipe for an unsuccessful bedtime experience. Everyone I know with babes under age 5 who is trying or has tried a bedtime routine to get kids to go to bed at a set time is frustrated and spends way more time than those I know, and myself, who just go with the flow and put the kids to bed when they are sleepy. Putting the child to bed when he or she is sleepy teaches them to pay attention to their own clock and they are less likely, I believe, to try to stay up later or spend oodles of time hampering your attempt to get them to go to sleep. My personal rule is that if it takes more than 15 minutes to get baby/child to go to sleep then he/she is not sleepy.

I disagree. These days it takes a very long time to get DD to sleep, yes. But I can't believe that the answer is to just give up and have her up and playing actively for another hour. She is DEFINITELY tired - red eyes and eyebrows, rubbing eyes, yawning, lots of thumbsucking during which eyes flutter shut, etc. Maybe "sleepy" is something different from "tired". She often seems to be actively keeping herself from relaxing into sleep - her eyes will shut and then she'll burst back with a mini-frenzy of activity. She'll also refuse to nurse when I KNOW she's hungry - my theory is because she knows that nursing = sleep and she doesn't want the day to be over. I think I should actually be putting her to bed earlier rather than wait till later, because perhaps she is getting overtired. The trouble is that earlier would equal during dinnertime, and I believe in family meals, so I guess I really need to reconceive our whole afternoon-to-evening routine.


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

i have just started thinking about this as i will probably be going back to work soon. its fine and dandy not having a schedule right now b/c im sahm'ing and that is great..i love it. but thats is not going to work for anyone when i go back to work. as it is, babe going to bed at midnight is not good for dh b/c it really doesnt interfere with his sleep. i would love to find a way to get E to go to bed earlier "naturally" (i.e., without imposing some type of schedule) but he just doesnt do that. the problem with allowing him to go to bed when i do is that i then end up (right now) having no time for myself. i think everyone should be able to spend 30 minutes or so a day just "chilling out" and for me, that is usually when E is sleeping (like right now..but its 8am...if i were WOHM, i would be leaving for work now and thats not really acceptable to me).

i am curious to see other bedtime routines here too..i dont think routines are bad at all..i think children really thrive on teh security of knowing what is next. at least thats what ive experienced. if i allowed my older son (15) to go to sleep whenever he got tired, he would be going to sleep around 1 am every day. i dont think its healthy for him to get 5 hours of sleep.

does anyone have a routine without a bathtime? i really dont like to bathe E every night.


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## Momma Aimee (Jul 8, 2003)

Theo can be totally tired -- rub eyes, fussy, red eyes, rubbing head -- nad fight it.

Actually if I let him get ttHAT tired it is sooooooooooooooo much worse.

I watch the clock -- has he been awake 3+ hours? it he starting to act a little tired? is it between 7 and 8?

He SEEMS to be morphing -- at 7 months as PP said -- but I talked to sis a long time and she is helpoing me go with it -- my infant is truning into a baby -- there seems to be some change taking place. he seems to be orgizaing his behavior, and establishing his preferences. (I can only wonder if they will all flip in 2 more weeks).

For the past 3 days -- and knock on wood this keeps up -- we go to bed beween 7 and 8; we bath we dress, then we nurse in bed till he is full and pulls away to play wiht it, then i get up and walk him in circels in our bedroom, so far with in 10 minues he is asleep and another 5 and I lay him downa nd another 5 and i can get up.........................if this keeps working I am cool with that. (has worked at a number of naps too). We have to stick to the bedroom as it is theonly dark place -- and dark really help him sleep, i have hopes for fall!!

SInce the end of May when we went on vacation and got home Theo seems to have made some changes for himself -- changes i had expected to help him make after his birthday and before Christmas -- he is ONLY nurseing laying down in bed. He'll sip here and there other times, but not reeally nurse. so more or less he is nurseing at bed and nap time. THAT I like. he also will only naps in bed, or some times the car seat -- that i am less crazy abot but accept as a growing thing.

I am thinking: 1. I KNOW he is getting enough milk, as he gained 7 oz in 7 days this past week, but as he nurses at least 80% at NIGHT and the rest at nap time with only a few sips here and there otherwise .....maybe it is time to really get on teh sippy cup that he currently plays with and get him to drink it? I am thinking i do not want to wryy about dehyration all summer, but espically not on 9 days of vacatio in July. 2. if this is his bent -- that is to nurse only in bed at a sllep time -- then i am not going to fight it (esp since I wan planning on going there in a few months anyway); I'd be silly to.

I do want to create more of a bedtime routine for him -- add some books and a pray (we listen to music now). And part of this is cuz we will be TTC again in Jan, and when the new baby comes i want Theo to have a routne that he can do with Daddy or Grandma and there still be some sense of "normal". buttttt if he has found a awy to go to sleep (and by walking i get less hair pulled and he settles for sleep if we lay in bed after he nurses he starts to play again, not drift off) THAT is 1/2 my battle right there the rest is gravey.

Anyone have specail prays or blessing or anything ??


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

DD's sleep habits have changed over time and I think it's important to be flexible.

Right now (she's 14mo) we start around 8 or 8:30 getting her ready for bed with the goal being sleeping baby by 9-9:30. We take a bath (she LOVES bathtime, but we only use baby soap every couple of days...dd has eczema and it's important to get the sweat/dirt/pollen/etc off her every day), do a little baby massage with some lotion, put on her overnight diaper and a t-shirt, and then I'll nurse her out. Some nights she's out within minutes, other nights it's a 20-30 minute "wiggle worm" adventure.







We've found that if she's nursed and still wiggly, having DH lay down with her while I go downstairs usually works...she's tired, her belly is full, and dada just rubs her hair till she falls asleep.

Since she can now stay asleep after I leave the bed (huzzah!) this routine works for all of us since she gets enough sleep and I get some adult time with dh after she's out. Until she was around 12 months though she couldn't stay asleep without someone nearby (if not snuggled around her) so we'd get her ready for bed and then she'd stay up with us...either sleeping in the sling, in DH or my arms, or in her "little bed" (a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor of the living room) while we did our own evening thing. It worked, but I like our current system better.

And yes, DH and I work outside the home and DD has to get up at 7:30am like it or lump it, so it's important to us to create and maintain some sort of evening rhythm that eases everyone towards sleep. I think trying to stick with a strict "by the clock" approach is just going to frustrate everyone involved, but having a routine is wonderful since everyone knows where the evening is headed.


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## guerrillamama (Oct 27, 2003)

sweetest, bathtime is not part of our routine. ds and i both have very dry skin, so a daily bath would do more harm than good. he gets a bath maybe twice a week.

on the schedule thing - when ds was younger i was more flexible. but now, i find that if he's not asleep by 10:30 or so he is not going to go to sleep until 1, maybe 2 am. and he will spend most of that time screaming and crying in frustration because he's too exhausted to relax enough to sleep. i speak from many nights of experience.


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## Apryl Srissa (Oct 1, 2005)

We had no real schedule at all with my oldest. He co slept, on and off, till he was about 5. We had a horrid time of things, he was usually over tired, we always were, and getting him to sleep often took over an hour (this was during school, he needed to get to sleep). So we were carefull to learn Connor cues and not repeat the mistake. We don't have a by the clock schedule, though it is roughly the same time often. I also noticed as someone else said, that if he really tired, it takes longer, and he also doesn't sleep as well that night. He's 2 1/2 now, but this had been in one form or another since he was about a year. We eat dinner earlier than dh and I like, around 5, so he has time for play before bed. We don't do and excited or over active play after dinner, just quiet things. We don't always do a bath, but when we do, I am for 6:30 or so, really depending on the day. Roughly sevenish he usually is ready for bed. It really depends on the day, for a while it was later, lately he is really been tired, but unwilling to nap, so it's been earlier. He will protest that he isn't ready to go up, but everytime, as soon as he is at the top of the stairs, he runs into his room and waits for me, so he is definately ready. We read, depending on how much energy he has from one to three books, then nurse. He usually goes into his bed a little awake, but we have a new 'deal' he can nurse as long as he wants before bed, but then the milk gets to sleep at night, we only nurse at night if it is for unusual things, like a nightmare or something. If he has a hard time, we also use some rubbing, but he doesn't like full massages.

The baby doesn't really have a schedule. Usually after dinner, he plays with daddy or big brother while I go up with Connor. If he has had a long day, he conks out early. But normally, he is up till 9-10, then nurses to sleep. He also nurses throughout the evening, so by then, he is very full and comfy. Then he goes up in his bed in our room. We used to put him on down down stairs them move him when we went up, but have recently just started taking him up, he seems to sleep better that way.

I think that it is important to have that bit of kidless time at night. I find that the nights I don't get it, I am grouchier the next day, that little peace helps me keep my sanity.


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## jdlobe (Jan 13, 2005)

There seems to be alot of age variation from the stories on the board. I think so much depends on your child as well as their age. For me, it feels like the ease/difficulty of getting her to sleep changes every couple of months (she's 2 now) as does when she needs to sleep and how long her naps our. Right now she's shortening/dropping her nap and thus bedtimes can be easy or difficulting depending on if/how long she naps.

We have a routine, but the time totally depends on the day, her mood and how tired she is. After supper she plays with dad while I have a bath, then her bath, snack, stories and bed. I have found that now she's two, and I lay down with her to get to sleep, she knows it's bedtime and doesn't make a big deal about getting up and playing. She lies there with me until she falls asleep.That has only happened in the past six months. That can take from 10min to 1 hour depending on alot of factors.


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## lasergirl (May 17, 2006)

Mine is almost 2 and our routine -which is not really one is:
Bath (every 2nd nite)
read 2 books
milk and snack downstairs on my lap while watching TV
he usually falls asleep about 1 hour later
I put him in bed after he is fully asleep

I have done this- more or less- from the beginning.
I am now starting to wonder if I should get him to go to sleep on his own- instead of him my arms.
I don't know- this has always worked for us and I know he will not be 18 and need my cuddles to sleep. But it seems every few months and start to question it again.


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## Momma Aimee (Jul 8, 2003)

Quote:

I am now starting to wonder if I should get him to go to sleep on his own- instead of him my arms.
I would think whatever works for you family

DS is currently in a good sleep phase -- and nurseing for 10 to 15 minutes, then i walk him for 10 and he is OUT

(hasn't always been this easy -- and i doubt it lasts through 9 days of plans and cars on vacation)

My thought is always -- well we will be TTC again in Jan 07....so i try to to set up any situation i KNOW we will just have to "break" or "change" in a drastic way when i am PG ... why create that much work and heart / head ache for us all on purpose??? So that is always in my thoughts.

Whatever works.

Aimee


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## shanetedissac (Apr 26, 2002)

My dh, Mark, does the bed time routine 90% of the time. He has done it right from the start. Bed time is one hour after dinner. My dh takes them upstairs and does bath (not every day) pj's, vitamins, reads them stories (this is usually when my 2yo comes down to nurse), then dh puts them into bed. It has been modified throughout the years to accomodate more children. The only time I put them to bed is when dh is not home. This routine gives me a few minutes to myself and some time for dh to be with the boys.


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## Ladybug Mama (Oct 11, 2005)

For our family, the order of the routine and the way of the day is more important than the time ...

There are things that vary with the routine with regard to how sleepy one of our DDs are (sometimes, we have to get one of them to bed as quickly as possible!), but there are what I call a few "core" things to our very flexible routine that are a must with the girls. For example, with dd#1, who's 3, her "core" bedtime rituals include:

-laying on the changing table (she still loves this "closeness") to roll around, get tickles and her nun-night diaper on.
-pick out her own pjs (she likes to wear the silliest things to bed! As long as she sleeps, we don't care!)
-brushing teeth sitting on the changing table








-laying down with Mommy or Daddy in bed, falling asleep with her back rubbed.

About 50% of the time, she asks to rock for a bit while wrapped in a blanket while we read a story. When she is really tired, she just wants to go right to bed. Once she is in bed, she is out within 5 to 20 minutes. If she did not nap, she is in bed quickly, without wanting stories or much rubbing and she's asleep by 7pm. If she has had a nap, she is asleep (after a longer routine including a bit of play in her room and a couple of stories while rocking) by 8:30pm.

With dd#2, who's 21 months, her "core" bedtime rituals are a little more simplified:

-nun-night diaper
-pjs
-brush teeth with big sis on the changing table








-nurse to sleep with Ellie (her elephant blanket)

Sometimes dd#2 enjoys a little quiet play with big sis before sleep, sometimes she enjoys a book, sometimes she's so tired, she just wants to nurse. But, the core things never change and their order never changes. They both remind us what comes next in the routine.

I know your little one is only 7 months, but for me, it doesn't seem that long ago that mine were babies like that. I remember it well. The whole first year is such a developmentally-sensitive time. I think if you just pay attention to the "core" things your little one likes and responds to before sleep, that is the key. I've never been one to worry about nursing to sleep. I nursed my 3 yo to sleep too and she now sleeps 12 hours straight at night. Babyhood is such a short special time. I wouldn't worry about a set routine according to time or anything. We only do a bath about 1-2 times a week and when we do a bath, it has to be early, sometimes well before dinner (or even in the morning!) because I've found that a bath gets my girls really excited and hyped up. Their bathtime play gets them overstimulated. They love to run around naked and "air-dry" afterwards, so a bath to calm and relax does not work in our family. I also have noticed that it takes a long time for them to go to sleep when they are overtired. And, I don't try to force them to sleep when they are like this. They know they're tired, they ask us to take them upstairs, but they have a hard time settling. And, I've recently noticed that when they go to bed early, like 7:00pm, they sleep better and longer! A lot of parents have the misconception that if their kids go to bed early, they will get up earlier. Very often, this is not the case. When both my girls are asleep by 7 (on early, short, or no-nap days), they sleep until 7am! But, it takes a lot of cue-watching, dinner-planning, etc. to get them to bed at this time. But, I try it often because they are so responsive to an early bedtime. For my girls, it seems they use dinner-time as the beginning of their night-time routine. So, if they haven't napped and I know they will be super tired, I get dinner ready early so they can begin their wind-down time early enough to be asleep when they are tired.

I've also noticed that the length of time between nap and bedtime is almost always the same. They both tend to be ready for night-time sleep about 5 hours after their daytime nap! It's been like this with my 3 yo since she was 10 months old! And, it appears to be this way for my 21 month old too. If she wakes up from her nap at 2 pm, she falls asleep easily by 7pm (start bed time routine by 6). Same with my 3 yo. If she naps at all, it's usually only a 30 - 45 min. nap now. If she wakes from her nap at 3:30, she isn't asleep for the night until 8:30pm.

So, you see why I can't depend on the same time every night for a bedtime ritual. It depends on the day's events, and how tired they are. For example, if it's a rainy day and we've been inside all day, they just aren't that tired. I look at their cues at dinner and determine when to start bedtime routines. Sometimes when they nap, they aren't tired at 7, sometimes they're tired even if they DID nap. Sometimes a nap makes them more tired and even more ready for bed. Sometimes they crash at 6:30 if they didn't nap. Sometimes they are a bit overtired from not napping and can't settle. It all depends on the day, what we did and how they did it!! For example, when we went to the lake the other day, dd#1 crashed in the car on the way home at 6:00. I took her straight to her bed when we got home and she slept solid until 7:00am! Her sister crashed 30 minutes later! I enjoyed the extra me-time!

So, now that I have written my own sleep-book, I think I've make clear that I see myself as a "guide" to my children's night-time sleep. They both enjoy going to bed at night as it is family time. There are things we used to do when they were babies that they don't want or need anymore and there are things we have added. But, the core stuff is still there: nursing, cuddling, backrubs and sometimes rocking. When my dh is home, we all go up and lay down on dd#1's bed (it's BIG!) and the two of them or all of us fall asleep. Me or dh brings dd#2 to her mattress on the floor in our room after she is asleep. But, there are a few times during the week that my dh is not home, and we do it a little differently. I will typically let them fall asleep on me in my lazyboy rocker in the living room.

So, we have a routine that is based on cues and the way of the day. I was like this when I was working (before dd#2) and I'm the same now that I have been home (since dd#2 was born). It's the way I am. It's the way our family is. I think routines are established for the parents and the family. I believe that what makes Mom and Dad happy and rested makes the family unit happy. Mom needs to feel rested and regroup. Some Moms need more time than others to do this. Some do it in the morning, some do it in the evening. Find what works for your family. It may take a little while to find this out, and it may also change from time to time as your baby becomes a toddler and then a preschooler. Follow their lead and be in tune to their cues. In our house, the "dinner-mood" determines when they're ready for bed!


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## Apryl Srissa (Oct 1, 2005)

I've also noticed that earlier sleep = more sleep. In fact, the days Connor is up later, are usually only if I miss that window of readiness early one, once that is past, he gets a second wind and is up later. But he is happiest for all of us if he goes down earlier. Lately, we are expecting a growth spurt, he has been at that ready point some days as early as 6 which is just unheard of normally. So we've had to rush some dinners, or just give him something while dinner is getting ready to get him off to bed. I have also noticed our guys get wired from baths too. My oldest always has, Connor it isn't so much. If he bathes with a brother, definately, if alone, I can sometimes take him right to his room afterwards, but usually that is only if he is already ready and we just do a quick bath, not a longer playing bath. He'd happily take a few baths a day, he has a ball, but basically washes down the whole room









Looking back, we were very structured at this time last year. With getting ready for Hunter's arrival, I wanted him to have something to stick to that wouldn't change when everything else did. And it was a good thing. After baby arrived, his whole world shifted, except that bed time was the same. He had to share me all day long, but at bed time, it was just us. I noticed that nursing took longer and there was more snuggling, but that was ok, I enjoyed that quiet time with him too. Now he is less needing that, and less needing a strict schedule, so we are more flexible.


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## southern_ivy (Jun 18, 2006)

We've been doing this now for a few months and it seems to work great!

*Dinner* is between 6-7 pm
*Bath*, next
*PJ's*, thick butt cream & diaper w/ diaper doubler
*Read* 1-2 books
*Bedtime* is between 7-8 pm
....by bedtime, Lauren is so tired a little back rub and cuddle with one of her stuffed animals and she's out. She sleeps in her own crib, now.
"*Dream-feed*" between 10-11pm....lights out, no diaper change, right back to bed...she never really wakes up during the dream-feed.

She's sleeps till 6-7am every day.

I like this routine b/c it allows my husband and I some alone time in the eve.







:


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## southern_ivy (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:

I think where people go wrong is the set time... but I do like having a routine... for us it just sets up the mood... the routine starts depending on the day and the kids (not because of the time), bath helps calm them and they love the time that DH spends with them in the bath... then the actual going to bed/nursing to sleep depends on their cues...
I have never had a battle with bedtime for neither of my boys, they sleep though the night and nap if they want to... the rest of our day has a loose routine (wake up, breakfast, do whatever, lunch, do whatever, supper, bath, sleep)

I do not believe in schedules though and I agree that if you have a set time in your head then you are stting yourslef up for disaster in many cases...
I agree!

The times to my schedule change daily and monthly, but the routine is the same and therefore the times are close to the day before and after.

Wake up
Eat
Activity for 1.5 - 2 hours (my daughter is 6 mos. now)
Sleep

Activity may be playing, doing mommy errands, bath & books, etc.
Sleep has it's own sub-routine....Take to room, turn off lights, close blinds, either rock or hold for a few minutes, lay her in crib, rub her back, turn on mobile or music, hang out for a few more minutes till she's almost asleep, leave her to go to sleep on her own.

It's important to act on her sleepiness asap or it's very hard to get her to sleep.

I think it's easier when a child knows what to expect from a routine and I can plan my day accordingly.

I got most of my advice from the "baby whisperer". She is very time schedule oriented and I found it drove me crazy trying to stick to exact times, but routines are good. I can't remember her name, but there are a few "baby whisper" books out.

Good Luck!


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