# Clitoral Stimulation During Labor?



## prufrocks_lady

I am 35 weeks pregnant with my second child and am hoping to have a natural labor. (We wanted that last time too but got intimidated into an induction last minute.) I have been reading the writings of the midwife Ina May Gaskins and have noticed the connection she draws between birth and female sexuality. She discusses open-mouthed kissing (which I know works because we did that last time) and nipple stimulation and also mentions clitoral stimulation as a means of relaxing during labor and pushing. I was just wondering if anyone hear has tried that or knows someone who has tried it. Does it work? Inhibition won't be a problem for me but I am curious about how difficult it would be to relax enough for stimulation to be effective while you're in the middle of contractions. Does it help to have some sort of vibrator? (Won't my midwives love it when I break out that thing at 8 cm, lol)

I'm not trying to be crude or inappropriate but the concept of birth sexuality makes sense and it's something I'd like to explore. I'm just wondering if I'm nuts or if there are other women out there who've experimented/experienced this type of thing. Or who know someone who has

Thanks,

prufrockslady


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## Picturesque

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## kriket

have you looked into the orgasmic birth? I'm a bit more reserved, but if you think it will help go for it!

I know at one point in my labour I just HAD to get totally nakked. There was no telling me otherwise! I think there were at least 10 people in the delivery room with me and I didn't know there was anyone other then my DH.


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## marrymeflyfree

It helped me, though I didn't plan to do it and didn't even do it consciously if that makes sense. It was just sort of intuitive, I suppose. It's as though it takes your physical focus off the contractions for a bit and puts it (pleasurably) elsewhere..at least that's what it was like for me. No vibe required; I think that would have been too much for me! There is already so much blood flow/energy going on there...a simple touch or even just closing my legs in a certain way was all I needed.


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## lotus.blossom

I found myself reaching down and pressing into my clitoris during contractions and pushing. I remember hearing my midwife say...._good- you're supporting your pubic bone_. But no, it just felt better to press there!









I say go for it. I felt uninhibited by being in the birth pool. I couldn't imagine doing the same in the hospital but I felt comfortable around my midwives.


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## TzippityDoulah

I find when the baby moves down that area just stings so I grab and push back. never thought about it otherwise... but i can see the connection.


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## flowers

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marrymeflyfree* 
It helped me, though I didn't plan to do it and didn't even do it consciously if that makes sense. It was just sort of intuitive, I suppose. It's as though it takes your physical focus off the contractions for a bit and puts it (pleasurably) elsewhere..at least that's what it was like for me. No vibe required; I think that would have been too much for me! There is already so much blood flow/energy going on there...a simple touch or even just closing my legs in a certain way was all I needed.

This happened to me. I was in the tub with ds2 and I just kept reaching down and holding the whole area. It felt so much better and served to provide support as he crowned. I didn't tear and delivered him into my hands.


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## amazed

perhaps your husband could help.


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## MommyofHero

i personally was very aware of this pressured and stretched feeling in the clitoral area during labor, and a few times i found myself thinking "OMG, I hope my clit doesn't tear in two!!", so, honestly I don't see how someone could concentrate on rubbing it pleasurably in that situation.
however, if you can, and it's helping, then by all means, break out the vibrator!


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## secondimpression

I did this instinctively during my labor to help get through transition. It was a great distraction and took the edge off of contractions


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## cottonwood

Anything that feels good is going to help.







But you really won't know until you're in the moment whether it's going to work for you. It's kind of like trying to plan for sex, you know? Like, "a massage will make me aroused." Well, maybe it will and maybe it won't. Depending on the circumstances it could either be lovely or irritating. I think the important thing is to not approach it in a clinical way. I mean, I've heard people talk about nipple-twiddling in labor as if it's just a tool in the same way as, say, pitocin is. It doesn't really work that way. If it feels lovely, it'll cause hormones to be released. If it feels irritating, it'll interfere with hormones being released.

For me, the only way any of that was going to happen in a clinical setting would be in a clinical way. I _am_ self-conscious and inhibited about anything primal/sexual/sensual while being observed by people who are not also in a primal/sexual/sensual state. So it wouldn't work for me. But in privacy, absolutely. My best parts of labor were when I was in a situation where sexual intimacy could happen.


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## 98741

I had a young woman as a doula client and she rubbed her clitoris in late labor and while pushing. She was like "why am I doing this? It feels good." She as amazingly uninhibited, I was so impressed with her. It was a totally natural thing. I think it helps provide lubrication and relaxation of the vaginal walls as well as redirecting some of the intensity to a more pleasurable place as a PP said. I also agree with fourlittlebirds that it is kind of something that's there and good or it's not. I think I would have been in a more sexual place with my last birth if my husband and I were alone. We could have been alone had I wanted that but it's not something I thought about until looking back on it. So possibly plan to provide for some private time (go in the bathroom with DH if you are hospital birthing) and if it works for you great and if not, no harm done.

I agree that I find sexual birthing very interesting. I think I'll plan for more private time for our third birth and see how things go.


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## ferra

I don't think this is anything you can plan.

I definitely touched myself down there a lot during labor without even thinking about it. Between pushing all I had to do was close my legs and the feeling was "orgasmic". It all still hurt BAD but it was a great coping mechanism.

Also, I was at home and think things may have been different in a hospital. I may have not been as uninhibited.


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## Mamatoabunch

I had such quick labors w/ most of mine by the time I realized I am in labor truly I was getting close to transition and no longer interested in touching. Dh and I plan on lots this labor, if it all works out. I think it will be a fun and loving way to bring baby out.


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## Funny Face

I didn't do this during labor but the sensations I felt were so close to pre-orgasmic that I considered it in earlier labor. I didn't however because things were so intense I was afraid an orgasm might actually intensify things or cause sensations that I might not like.

In a way labor can feel a bit like a sensory overload and I was afraid to add something more to it. I've looked back and wondered what might have been different or if it would have helped cope with labor better... but overall I felt I coped very well. It is funny to watch my birth video though because the sound track sounds a bit like a porno and the way I'm rocking and rolling on my knees is a bit... erotic!









You could always try a bit of stimulation and see how it feels and then continue if it is enjoyable.

Happy birthing!


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## Alison Cole

I think it is so important for mom to be comfortable touching her own body in the way that feels best during labor! We need to be listening to our bodies at the most primal level, and free to go wherever that takes us. I also think that if you're having a birth attendant (i.e. not a UC), it's worth it to talk to them about your desire to be involved in that way. When I felt a strong urge to provide clitoral support/pressure as my daughter was being born, my midwife kept telling me that she had it, she was providing all the support I needed.







: I feel like if mom can follow her body well, she will probably provide the best support to her tissues. Of course, if a woman doesn't want to go there, that's one thing. But if she does, her attendants should certainly do what feels right.


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## prufrocks_lady

Thanks all! I definitely agree that it'll ultimately be a decision I make in the minute. I also think that's why homebirths are so ideal because it gives you that private setting to really be primal and sexual without strangers around. We were unable to arrange for a homebirth this time but we are using a birthing center with midwives and a doula so it will be at least somewhat more private than a standard hospital birth. Thanks again for all who shared their experiences.

Prufrockslady


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## dogmom327

I definately want to try this this time around. I've already let my MW know that I won't be calling her to come until the very last minute (she'll know I'm in labor though). I want it just to be DH and I (DS is going across the street to my sister's house). I want to approach this birth as an intimate experience between the two of us rather than a huge event. Worth a shot anyway.


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## GoodNamesGone

*giggles like a school girl* This is awesome! I never even thought of it!

I'm going to talk about it to DH- I'm sure we'll have a little alone time during the birth, and it might help. At the very least the kissing should be fine ^_~.

Big thanks to OP for bringing this topic to light. I'm going to have to read more about it.


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## littlebb

DH and I are planning a natural homebirth and our midwife has talked at length about this being a method of both dealing with contractions and also helping things along. For those of us that aren't modest, she very much advocates this. Stimulation will help release Oxytocin and can move things along, especially if labor or dilation has stalled. Because we're homebirthers and have a little more liberty, she also highly advocates sex if labor slows or stalls which is also just good bonding for the couple.

We hear birth stories from previous clients of our midwife's all the time and many of them use(d) clitoral stimulation and sex and swear by it - all have said if nothing else, it brings a relaxing nature and closeness to the event. Also any pressure or sensation you create for yourself down there (even if it's just the pressure of your hand or finger) will help you to focus where your energy needs to go. I have to agree that there is a connection between birth and sexuality.

And I also agree it's something you maybe can't plan for, but might be something you think about and imagine as part of your birth and it'll be in the back of your mind during your birth - I have a feeling if you decide now that you're okay with trying it, it will come naturally at birth if you have the urge. As someone else mentioned - anything that feels good during birth helps!


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## littlebb

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogmom327* 
I definately want to try this this time around. I've already let my MW know that I won't be calling her to come until the very last minute (she'll know I'm in labor though). I want it just to be DH and I (DS is going across the street to my sister's house). I want to approach this birth as an intimate experience between the two of us rather than a huge event. Worth a shot anyway.

Sounds like DH and I. Some of our family has a hard time comprehending this, but I wish they could see they're missing out. What better way is there to bond as a couple and as a family? Since day one I've imagined something so very intimate and personal where our birth is concerned. To have that loving bond from the beginning has got to be amazing. Everyone keeps asking when we'll call and let them know I'm in labor, etc., but truth be known, I could careless if anyone knows : ) We are being extremely selfish about our birth since we are so looking forward to it and want it to be so personal and intimate. We are like that now, so I feel like we should be that way for our birth. It will just come naturally.


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## mamabear0314

I remembered reading that when I was in transition. I tried it, but it didn't help at all. I also had a traumatizingly painful birth, so who knows? Maybe next time it'll help?


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## consciousbirthing

Here is a link to Barbara Harper's Orgasmic Birth story -- with lots of clitoral stimulation involved. Enjoy the read:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?cre...d=101031649444

Let me know if you'd like more info. I've written an article entitled "How to Have an Ecstatic Birth."

Blessings,
Jeanice Barcelo
[email protected]


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## Fujiko

Quote:


Originally Posted by *consciousbirthing* 
Here is a link to Barbara Harper's Orgasmic Birth story -- with lots of clitoral stimulation involved. Enjoy the read:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?cre...d=101031649444

Let me know if you'd like more info. I've written an article entitled "How to Have an Ecstatic Birth."

Blessings,
Jeanice Barcelo
[email protected]

Link doesn't work for me-sends me to my FB home page.


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## Kidzaplenty

Does not work for me, either.


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## Right of Passage

I had a painless (accidental) UBAC in March







I did clitoral stimulation during pushing. It wasn't my intention it's just what my body needed at the time. I only pushed 4 times.

The open mouth kissing wasn't my cup of tea, simply because I labor on hands and knees, I did what open mouth kissing does for you though. Keeps your jaw loose.







I also made sure my hand and feet were loose, automatically it kept my bottom loose.

I had no solid plans for my birth other than saying "yes" to the rushes. Do what feels right at the time!


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## Bubblette

umm how would one bring this up to your MW??? I've just switched to a HB at 35 weeks and I'm really interested in trying this... My midwife is awesome, we totally clicked and she's very hands off. Somehow I still can't seem to find the words to bring this up though.


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## Right of Passage

I didn't bring it up with my midwife, labor went so fast she missed the birth. Midwives see a lot, I don't think this would surprise one.


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## mwherbs

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bubblette* 
umm how would one bring this up to your MW??? I've just switched to a HB at 35 weeks and I'm really interested in trying this... My midwife is awesome, we totally clicked and she's very hands off. Somehow I still can't seem to find the words to bring this up though.

l you could say you just saw a thread on mothering... and you were thinking that you may want to try and see if it helps- so don't be surprised.


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## 98741

I don't think it's really something you need to discuss. Try it in labor, if it's helpful, keep doing it, no biggie. I'd be surprised if it was the first time the midwife had experienced it.


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## mwherbs

you know I think I would say something to the midwife if for nothing else for privacy - I have had my own personal experience with this and I have seen a few laboring moms who would openly touch themselves but I know that some of the midwives I worked with have never thought of it or seen it and it would come as quite a surprise -


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## Lady Lilya

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommyofHero* 
i personally was very aware of this pressured and stretched feeling in the clitoral area during labor, and a few times i found myself thinking "OMG, I hope my clit doesn't tear in two!!", so, honestly I don't see how someone could concentrate on rubbing it pleasurably in that situation.
however, if you can, and it's helping, then by all means, break out the vibrator!

Ditto. My only thought about my clit was protecting it from damage. I remember at one point feeling like I was going to tear that way and alerting my midwife. I don't know exactly what she did, but that stopped. I only ended up having a few tiny tears, and kinda in all directions. Like an asterisk.


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## Banana731




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## StrongBeliever

This is super interesting! I've not tried it, but I can see how it would have a lot of potential to help some women. My last birth was a UC(planning another with current bun in the oven), and I had a hospital birth before that. Laura Shanley's info is very much about the connection between sex and birth. That they come out much the way they went in.







Erotic movement, stimulation, intimacy... All of these things helped promote a more peaceful natural labor. I was pretty shy last time, and ended up birthing almost entirely by myself, but I can see how interacting with my DH or channeling my own sexual energy would help.

Interestingly, while pushing out my daughter, I felt that getting into the exact position in which I typically reach orgasm and using the same movement was what it took it birth her. I tried the whole squatting thing, but ended up on my knees with my hips thrust forward, my legs close together. Excuse me if that is TMI.







A little background... I could never achieve O from intercourse prior to having met DH. I "learned" how to with him, and had a limited range in which it would happen at the time of my daughter's birth. I am curious to see, years later after having expanded my O repertoire, if I am able to birth in a different position, and if it will match the position I was when I got pregnant(I can recall the exact "oopsy" responsible). Watching UC birth videos, I think this could be true... The connection between "out the same way they went in". Birth connected to "the little death". I see women get into positions that are inherently sexual. I think attended births, where women are encouraged/coached into positions they might not choose, might not have the same story. I think of hospital births where women are stuck on their backs with their feet in the air(where I have been before), and I can see how that wouldn't facilitate gentle birth for many woman. I reach O most often on top.









Back on topic... I think clitoral stimulation would be something to try!


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## boogiebearlove

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Funny Face* 
In a way labor can feel a bit like a sensory overload and I was afraid to add something more to it.

This is how I felt last time. It took all of my concentration to get through each contraction, and I didn't want anything else going on - nobody rubbing or touching me, nobody talking or moving, etc. It was all so intense that the idea of nipple stimulation or anything else seemed completely overwhelming.

BUT if you're interested you should try it! See how you feel then. It obviously works for some people. I feel like Ina May (or maybe someone else) said that it was also good for flooding the area with even more blood to make it extra stretchy and avoid tearing. It has interested me this pregnancy, because I was cut or tore with each of my other babies. I'll keep it in mind, but everything is so dependent on "the moment".

I'm 38 weeks, so if I have a baby before you I'll repost if I do it


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## hildare

i actually gave it a go when my waters broke but no contractions happened that i could feel. it didn't work (and the eventual pitocin didn't either) except to relax me a little.
i do have a friend who felt that helped her a great deal, though. (which is why i tried it too)


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## Llyra

Quote:

This is how I felt last time. It took all of my concentration to get through each contraction, and I didn't want anything else going on - nobody rubbing or touching me, nobody talking or moving, etc. It was all so intense that the idea of nipple stimulation or anything else seemed completely overwhelming.
That's kind of how it was for me, too. I remember DH trying to touch my hand-- in the lightest possible way, trying in his own way to be reassuring-- and I nearly slugged him. I wanted nothing, nobody, NOTHING to touch me, to the point that I was extraordinarily irritated by gravity, because it meant that there HAD to be *something* touching me.

I think if somebody had suggested clitoral or breast stimulation, I would have ripped their face off, so they'd stop talking.
















I am not a violent person, by any means, ever. But laboring took all the concentration I had, and I felt like somebody had taken my skin off, and even the tiniest touches made me feel rage.









So I guess I'm saying it's a cool idea, and obviously works for lots of women. But for me? Forget it. So I'd suggest being open to following your feelings in the moment, rather than planning ahead too much. I had DH all prepped to expect to be supportive in certain ways, and he experienced quite a lot of disappointment in how minimal his role turned out to be-- I basically made him stay as far away from me as he could while still being in the room, and he wasn't even allowed to talk. Which is totally not how I imagined it would be, or what we'd talked about and read about-- but once I was there in that time and space, it was the only thing I could tolerate.


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## Lucy&Jude'sMama

delete


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