# Night weaning or eating oxyclean?



## KarmaJoy (Jan 25, 2006)

So long story kinda-short, I haven't slept for more than 2 hours in a row in months. I am losing weight and can't keep up with my kids. I don't play with them in the day because meeting all of our basic needs is all I can muster. I feel like a zombie. The crowning bad mom event happened when I actually sat down for once, and accidentally fell asleep. I thought my house was baby proof but my almost 3 year old managed to get the oxyclean down and my 9 month old ate it. I woke up to screaming. I was so disoriented because I didn't realize I had fallen asleep right away (has never happened before). I couldn't find poison control and had a screaming baby with oxyclean in his mouth so I called 911 and said I needed poison control but of course they had to send an ambulance and all that. (He's fine)

OK....leading up to this (and now my paranoia that I will fall asleep again) is that ds nurses literally all night. If I unlatch him, he wakes and screams, and will not be consoled without nursing. I can't sleep while I'm nursing. I stay awake for hours and hours every night. I can't continue this. I am debating night weaning...not becuase I believe that it is good for ds, but becuase I think it is better than having a mom who can't even stay awake to make sure dd doesn't feed him oxiclean. I don't know what else to do.


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## hipmummy (May 25, 2007)

s I have been there it is so hard.
1. If you're in this situation YOU MUST CHILDPROOF EVERYTHING!!!!!
Do you nap with them during the day??
Also could your dp watch then onthe weekend so you could nap?
One thing that has helped me is falling asleep at night early with ds and having dh take ds in the morning so I can sleep for a half hour by myself. That half hour always feels like 8 hours.


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## Deir (Aug 19, 2005)

You can partially night wean if your dh is willing to help. If you feeding the baby plent of times in the day and you need to sleep some more you shouldn't feel so guilty. try having dh be with him until 11 or 12 and see what happens. If it is workingout, you might be able to expand it out. Take car of everybody including yourself!!


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## eloise24 (Nov 17, 2005)

While it's important to "night parent" your children, it's just as important that you are rested too. Co-sleeping, etc. only works when it's working for ALL of you! I don't know what you should do to start the process, but if you don't get some rest, not only are you going to be afraid of things like this happening, you are going to miss your children's baby and childhood! It's not fair to you or the kids to not be able to even play with them because you are so tired.

I agree with the PP- get DH to help you. I like some of the stuff written by the "baby whisperer" and I know there are other books out there. I'd try getting some pacifiers to meet his sucking needs. You don't even have to completely night-wean him but try feeding him when he "might" be hungry- every 3 hours or so. Then try to give him a substitute inbetween. If he's getting enough food during the day, there isn't a reason he should need that many calories at night.

Hope you get a solution so you can enjoy your children!


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

nak- jmo, but i would night wean. at least for a 6 hour stretch. sleep is important for YOU too. it will be hard to change and you may get LESS sleep for a while (start on a weekend where you can rest with dh home) but it will be worth it in a few weeks


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## KarmaJoy (Jan 25, 2006)

Thanks for the support. I am pretty bummed about the whole thing. I didn't nurse him last night and it did involve a considerable amount of in-arm-crying...for both of us. He just woke up for the first time tonight, and I rocked and sang him back to sleep in about 5-10 minutes. He is obviously not happy about it but I think it will be for the best.

Dh really isn't much help in this regard. I don't think he understands how draining it is and honestly just would prefer I nurse ds so that dh can sleep. As far as baby proofing my house, I really thought it was as much as could be, but with a toddler who can open childproofed door knobs and stack books to get up at anything, it is clear that I have to be there and not rely on childproofing at all.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KarmaJoy* 
Dh really isn't much help in this regard. I don't think he understands how draining it is and honestly just would prefer I nurse ds so that dh can sleep.

But, remember, your dh is not going to be sleep deprived forever, just for the 2 weeks it takes your ds to learn a new schedule.

It takes 2 to make a baby. It should take 2 to parent as well! He has a vested interest in your children's safety too!


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## CalBearMama (Sep 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KarmaJoy* 
OK....leading up to this (and now my paranoia that I will fall asleep again) is that ds nurses literally all night. If I unlatch him, he wakes and screams, and will not be consoled without nursing. I can't sleep while I'm nursing. I stay awake for hours and hours every night. I can't continue this. I am debating night weaning...not becuase I believe that it is good for ds, but becuase I think it is better than having a mom who can't even stay awake to make sure dd doesn't feed him oxiclean. I don't know what else to do.









I had the same thing going on when my DS was about that age. Luckily, a friend suggested to me that perhaps DS wasn't sleeping well because he needed to pee and didn't want to do it in his diaper, so he nursed all night long for comfort because he was so uncomfortable from his full bladder. Since I was willing to try anything, I took off his diaper and held him over the toilet at his first night-waking, and he peed a ton! Then he quickly nursed back to sleep and didn't wake again for a good three or four hours (which was heaven compared to what he had been doing). This was the beginning of our EC (Elimination Communication) journey, and I've been thankful ever since that my friend told me about it.

It may sound disruptive, but I found that helping DS pee once during the night helped us all sleep so much better. I eventually came up with a set-up involving a big bowl next to the bed, so that I could just hold him over it to pee during the night and I wouldn't even have to get up. Sometimes he would sleep right through peeing and go back to sleep without nursing. Other times, he would go through phases where he would get really upset that I wasn't nursing him, so I would go sit on the side of the bathtub and nurse him while I took off his diaper, and he would then pee in the tub.

Anyway, just chiming in to say that night-weaning isn't necessarily the only solution, and I really hope you find something that works for you. If you're interested in learning more about EC, check out www.diaperfreebaby.org, www.tribalbaby.org, or the EC sub-forum of the Diapering forum here at MDC.


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## Blucactus (Nov 20, 2006)

I don't have any better advise about night-sleeping than you've already recieved here, but if you need rest during the day, is there a room you can babyproof and put up a gate or close a door, lay down and shut yourself and both kids in there, even if you have to put the ((duck)) tv on for a little bit?? (or books on tape...or a special toy they can only use during mama's rest time, etc) I used to have to shut myself in a baby-proofed bedroom when my first was abuot 15 months old and I was pregnant with my second, bc my toddler was NOT sleeping at night and I got really sick if I didn't sleep enough.


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## pacificbliss (Jun 17, 2006)

I don't have any additional advice. I hope you get some rest soon.


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## loraxc (Aug 14, 2003)

I think you should night-wean, or cut back to one feeding. (How's your LO's weight?) Your DH needs to step up and help here. You could be in a car accident quite easily at this level of sleep deprivation. You know this, but you don't want to endanger your kids in the name of AP (how ironic would that be, right?)


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## KimPM (Nov 18, 2005)

When I got pretty sleep deprived, DH would often take care of DS in the morning so I could get a bit more sleep. Would this work for you: DH taking care of DS and DD either at night so you can start sleeping sooner, or in the morning so you can sleep in longer? Another option would be a mother's helper so you could take a nap during the day.

With DS at 9 months, removing some of that night nursing would likely be helpful, and I doubt that it would be too harsh on DS. Training DS to not need the breast *all night* would be very helpful for you.

My DS was this way for more than 2 years, not sleeping more than 2 hours at a stretch was the norm. 3 hours occasionally was a gift. But I was reluctant to change things because he had difficulty eating, so nursing was most of his nourishment for those 2 years. However if I had another child to consider as well, I might have been more aggressive about night weaning. Somewhere around 27-28 months old he decided to stop needing nursing at night, and he also starting sleeping longer stretches around the same time. I'm guessing that most times he woke to nurse because he knew he could.


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## KarmaJoy (Jan 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
But, remember, your dh is not going to be sleep deprived forever, just for the 2 weeks it takes your ds to learn a new schedule.

It takes 2 to make a baby. It should take 2 to parent as well! He has a vested interest in your children's safety too!

I don't mean to make Dh sound like a bum here because he really is not...but honestly he is no help at night. He is the kind of person who needs a full nights rest every night to function well, whereas it has taken me 3 years of sleep deprivation to really get to me. He also *just* this week started a very demanding new job. I have told him to sleep on the couch if we are keeping him up too much.

Last night (night two w/o nursing) went surprisingly well. Instead of long stretches of crying with me holding/singing/rocking/soothing him back to sleep, it was 5-10 minutes every time, although fairly frequently. He seemed quite (understandably) angry the first time or two and more mildly annoyed after that. I nursed him the first time he woke up and there was daylight (I was pretty engorged by then, since he normally nurses all night). At nine months, he weighs over 22 pounds, so not exactly wasting away. I am grateful that he seems to be adjusting quickly. He woke up smilely and happy, seemingly unscarred by the whole thing. I am hopeful tonight will be even better.


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

Sounds like you are getting some great advice, and putting that into action. I also wanted to chime in, and suggest that YOU go get some blood work done. Check your thyroid and your iorn levels- to see if you are anemic. You very well could have some imballance going on that's affecting you along with the lack of sleep. Stress can also be a culprit in this kind of situation.

You should also encourage DS to nurse more during the day, and early evening to help your body get used to not constant night feedings. Have you considered a binkey(pacifier) for only at night? I used one with LO#3 when she was tiny she didn't go for it so I thought we were done. However, she went through a spell like this at 10 or 11 months, and I started switching my breast for a binkey only when she was asleep. Sometimes it worked, other's it didn't. THIS is what worked for us.


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## KimPM (Nov 18, 2005)

One more suggestion: consider installing a hook and eye type latch up high on the door that DD can get into where the oxyclean is? Just another level of securing that door.

Yeah, my DH is the same way... he is better either at night or in the morning, but not getting up in the middle of the night....which is why he also sleeps in a different room and was able to help either at night or in the morning instead of during the night.

Once DS is apparently night weaned, I would expect there may still be times when DS may wake up at night and expect to be nursed. If you are serious about night weaning, then don't allow backtracking or you will be worse than when you started. Try a sippy of water instead if you have to.


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## avivaelona (Jun 24, 2005)

Quote:

He is the kind of person who needs a full nights rest every night to function well,
So is my husband, so for the first year I let him get a full night's rest, until finally I realized that I wasn't superhuman and I told him he needed to be part of the solution. That if he had to go to sleep early so that he could get up at 4 am with the baby then that was ok, but somehow he was going to have to suck it up and deal with less than perfect sleep because I was losing my mind. At first it was really hard for him, I won't lie, but he eventually adjusted too, and while he'll never be as good as I am at functioning on smaller amounts of sleep he can get through one day after a bad night now, and won't fall apart because of two. Just something to think about...if you never practice a skill you never get better at it, and functioning when you are less than perfectly yourself is a skill like any other.


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## eloise24 (Nov 17, 2005)

So glad that things are already looking better after a few nights! Hang in there, those nights of rest are going to be so wonderful for you AND him!


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## MilkTrance (Jul 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KarmaJoy* 
I don't mean to make Dh sound like a bum here because he really is not...but honestly he is no help at night. He is the kind of person who needs a full nights rest every night to function well, whereas it has taken me 3 years of sleep deprivation to really get to me. He also *just* this week started a very demanding new job. I have told him to sleep on the couch if we are keeping him up too much.

Last night (night two w/o nursing) went surprisingly well. Instead of long stretches of crying with me holding/singing/rocking/soothing him back to sleep, it was 5-10 minutes every time, although fairly frequently. He seemed quite (understandably) angry the first time or two and more mildly annoyed after that. I nursed him the first time he woke up and there was daylight (I was pretty engorged by then, since he normally nurses all night). At nine months, he weighs over 22 pounds, so not exactly wasting away. I am grateful that he seems to be adjusting quickly. He woke up smilely and happy, seemingly unscarred by the whole thing. I am hopeful tonight will be even better.

Nine months was the worst time for us during DS's first year. Absolute worst in terms of sleeping. Just from this new post, you sound like your attitude has been changing. That tells me you've made the right decision for your family. Night nursing doesn't work for everyone. It worked for me for a period of time because I could sometimes sleep through it, and DS wouldn't nurse ALL night.


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## KarmaJoy (Jan 25, 2006)

Last night was night 4 of night weaning. Ds woke up the first time at 10:45 and I brought him into bed (he starts in the crib in my room so I don't worry about him falling off my bed before I go to sleep and comes to bed the first time he wakes up). He didn't cry or fuss AT ALL. He snuggled up and went to sleep. He woke again around 12:30, same thing. He adjusted and tossed an turned for 5 minutes and went back to sleep. At 1:30, he woke up and fussed and cried for a few minutes with me rocking and singing him back to sleep, and then he slept until....5:30AM which is the longest stretch he has slept possibly ever. It was starting to get light then so I nursed him and he went back to sleep. It was probably the best nights sleep I have had in months. I never imagined that I would nightwean a baby this young but it has been a huge blessing that is went so easily and he doesn't seem upset by it. I do nurse him much more than usual during day, especially the morning to compensate. Anyway, I just thought if anyone was following along I would update. I really appreciate the support especially because this is such a difficult topic and decision but really seems like it is what was best for us.


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