# lost a baby boy @ 22weeks



## jl22martin (Apr 29, 2006)

I'm sharing my story with you in hopes of finding someone who's gone through something similar and is interested in sharing. Family and friends only seem interested in listening for such a short while.
I had a regular scheduled dr. appt. and when they listened for his heartbeat they couldn't find it. I had 3 older children with me all excited to hear the baby. It was so surreal on one side of me I'm scolding my children who are healthy and vibrant and on the other side of me life is ending. Having the dr tell me he was gone was only the beginning. Then I had to go through labor and delivery. We were blessed that we could spend time with our son. So I did all the things I knew I'd miss. I sang to him and I rocked him. I told him all about his siblings and how much we loved him. Nothing was as painful as leaving that hospital without my son and knowing he was going to the morgue. I just felt like my body had betrayed me. Not only did my baby not live but my own body, that was nurturing and growing this child didn't even know something was not right. I don't have any friends or family who have gone through anything like this ( I thank God for that) and it would be nice to have someone who can relate. The Lord granted me a gift with my son, Sawyer Scott, and that is I can't wait to get to heaven.


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## ChristyM26 (Feb 26, 2006)

I'm sorry.







I didn't go through quite the same thing as you, but I lost my twin boys at 20 weeks, 3 days to preterm labor. My family's been pretty good about listening but a lot of friends don't want to hear anything about it anymore so I understand that frustration. Everybody here is great about listening, so feel free to post.


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## Surfacing (Jul 19, 2005)

jl22martin I'm so sorry for your loss. What strength to birth your baby and say goodbye. Feel free to vent here anytime.


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## SweetTeach (Oct 5, 2003)

I'm sorry for your loss.


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## firemommaof1 (Jul 3, 2006)

I am just so sorry honey








I am so sorry you didn't get time with your beautiful baby before he went to be with the Lord. I am sure Sawyer cant wait to see his mommy when you arrive in heaven. I can only imagine the heartache you are going through... I wish I had words to take away the pain.


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## ~Katrinka~ (Feb 4, 2007)

I am so, so sorry for your loss of your beautiful son. Sawyer Scott is a wonderful name.









I had a similar experience in that I went to a routine 19 week appt and my midwife couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat. Meanwhile, my dh was sitting there reading to my 2 youngest children. We decided to come back later that day to try again -- we had just seen the baby on an u/s the day before and had no idea something could have happened to her just like that. So when we went back later, we had 4 of the kids with us, but I had the older 2 wait out in the waiting room. Right before my midwife came in the room, my 3 year old announced he had to go potty, so my dh took him. So I had to go through the experience of her not finding the h/b again alone because my little guy needed to go potty right then.
Having the older kids around does make the experience of a loss very surreal. I was in deep mourning and hardly able to do anything but cry in my room; they were on spring break and the sun, ironically, finally was shining, and they were running around outside enjoying the sunshine the next day. It's not that they didn't cry and they didn't care, but they're kids, and they keep needing to eat and sleep and have clean clothes and laugh and play.
At least for me, having the older children and my preschooler and toddler, with their laughter and tears and cuddles and hugs and fights helped pull me out of the darkness.
Sending you a great big hug & wishing you peace in the next few months. It does get easier to bear with time.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss mama, I lost a boy at 23 weeks this past January, however he had stopped developing at around 16 weeks. I also have three older dc's, and they were so very sad for losing their brother. You will find many woman here who will always have time to lend an ear and their hearts.







to you and you family.


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## fallriverfox (Nov 16, 2006)

I'm very sorry


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## mimi_n_tre (Jun 15, 2005)

I'm so sorry about your son, Sawyer. I lost my son almost exactly 2 year ago at 26 weeks, even though the docs said he was about 23 weeks. I also went through labor and delivery, which sucked because he was supposed to be my VBAC baby, and while he did, it just wasn't right. Do they have any reason or suggestion to why he died? With mine, I found out when I was pregnant with my daughter and had complications and she almost died due to very low fluid levels. Luckily I will be monitored earlier at 26 weeks with this pregnancy to make sure that my fluids never get low in the first place.

Again, sorry to hear about your son...
Mary


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## sewinmama (May 3, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost a little girl at almost 32 weeks in June to placental abruption. The birth itself wasn't so bad since I let them zap me out on drugs for the whole thing. Unfortunately my memories of holding her are vague since I was still pretty stoned at the time.

I guess I'm pretty lucky. I'm still getting the hugs and the how are things? from friends and family in the know. My DP and I talk about her a lot. We really miss her.

I'm so glad you named him. I love the name Sawyer. I think the name goes a long way toward validating him as a real person to you. I mean it lets the family know that his absence leaves a hole in your life even though it isn't as strong for them.

Pm me anytime if you want to talk or vent.

Huge hugs and prayers to you and yours.


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## silly_scout (Aug 31, 2006)

I lost a baby girl at 20 weeks - had no clue she was dying until our routine 20 week ultrasound showed that she was hours away from dying. She kicked one more time that night, then passed. I have no words that will comfort you. Just many


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## jl22martin (Apr 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mimi_n_tre* 
I'm so sorry about your son, Sawyer. I lost my son almost exactly 2 year ago at 26 weeks, even though the docs said he was about 23 weeks. I also went through labor and delivery, which sucked because he was supposed to be my VBAC baby, and while he did, it just wasn't right. Do they have any reason or suggestion to why he died? With mine, I found out when I was pregnant with my daughter and had complications and she almost died due to very low fluid levels. Luckily I will be monitored earlier at 26 weeks with this pregnancy to make sure that my fluids never get low in the first place.

Again, sorry to hear about your son...
Mary

No. Between the various blood test they ran on me and the pathological exam of his placenta ( we opted not have a autopsy, he was just too little). They never found anything. My doctors thought it was probably something internal.


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## Josette Marie (May 13, 2006)

I lost twin baby girls at 13 weeks. I am so so sorry for your loss.

In time it will get better. but for now sending you hugs.


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## ColoradoMama (Nov 22, 2001)

I am so sorry for your loss. My losses were much earlier, but my SIL lost her baby girl at 23 weeks. It's so hard because you feel like you're in the "safe zone." (not you in particular - you in general). The first few weeks are supposed to be when you worry - not when you're past that. My niece was so beautiful and so perfect. I miss her still. I hope you can find comfort.


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## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

I haven't been through what you've been through, but I am so sorry for your loss


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

Sawyer is a beautiful name. I am so sorry about your little boy.

I agree, that moment when they tell you there is no heartbeat is surreal. I sat there stunned. They wanted me to call my dp because I was there all by myself. I sat and stared at the phone they placed in my hands and for the life of me could not remember my dp's work number. A number I have dialed countless times for the past 3 years and I couldn't recall it. That moment counts as the second most horrible moment of my life, the first being having to leave the hospital without my little girl. I think others feel like the labor is the worst, but no, leaving that hospital just about tore me apart inside. I cried and cried. If anyone I know had seen me they would not have recognized me, I'm normally a very unemotional person. I'm so sorry you have to go through this


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I am truly sorry for you mama
















Sawyer


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## amydawnsmommy (Mar 13, 2005)

I am so sorry Mama.








Finding out that your baby has died is the hardest thing a parent can face.








Sawyer Scott








I am so glad you were able to rock and sing to Sawyer.

Is there a perinatal bereavement support group in your area? I highly recommend joining it so you can connect with parents in your area.

I also highly recommend the book Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah Davis.

My baby girl, Amy Dawn, died at 22 weeks as well.


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