# "it looks like a little worm"



## JordanKX (May 31, 2009)

My girlfriend told me this tonight, while watching me change DS.
"it looks like a little worm".
I had to laugh a bit. I wasn't offended.

I've never been with an intact man, so I've never seen an adult. And even DP (who's circ'ed) has said similar comments about DSS (intact) who's now 4 and rather large... if you're not used to an intact penis, and our culture is So used to a perfect little mushroom head staring at you, yeah, it takes a moment to get to used to it.

But a worm? Ah, I had to laugh a bit.
Still... it's those comments, even starting at 13months, that will aide to esteem issues. It's not a "worm". It's the way it SHOULD be.

I do wish, sometimes, that DP was intact, just for DS (and DSS's sake)...to have something to compare to. It will just make for questioning that much sooner. Luckily DP was the deciding factor for both boys on remaining intact, so he is mourning the loss of his foreskin... and can share that with both boys. Show his scar, really discuss what circumcision Means... and why it's a benefit to them being intact.


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## MovnMama (Jul 3, 2009)

If it helps you philosophically, DH is "intact" but his foreskin retracted during puberty. He actually had forgotten he was intact and thought that he was circumcised... and so did I!

It wasn't until we shared our decision not to circumcise DS with MIL that she said... umm... what do you mean, you're circumcised? No you're not! She even sent a picture just so we'd know. (ahem - from his childhood!) It took some investigation to figure out what had happened, and it's not that uncommon, but still. Imagine how that conversation with her went!









So, the point is, even though dad is intact, his penis doesn't look like DS's. We'll just explain it when the time comes and move on.


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## TyrantOfTheWeek (May 25, 2009)

A worm...At least not a bloody, chopped up, raw worm.


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## tammylsmith (Jul 11, 2008)

It is more aerodynamic that way







I don't get the looks comments anyway, because penises aren't for looks. It's a form follows function type of body part, and an intact penis performs the way nature intended it to.


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tammylsmith* 
It is more aerodynamic that way







*I don't get the looks comments anyway*, because penises aren't for looks. It's a form follows function type of body part, and an intact penis performs the way nature intended it to.

Me either....










I mean, I think elbows are ugly... but I don't suggest removing them....


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## JordanKX (May 31, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mackenzie* 
Me either....









I mean, I think elbows are ugly... but I don't suggest removing them....


















oh this is hilarious. Right On!!!!


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## annablue (Apr 6, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JordanKX* 
if you're not used to an intact penis, and our culture is So used to a perfect little mushroom head staring at you, yeah, it takes a moment to get to used to it.

See, I'm totally the reverse - I'm used to intact and when I first saw a cut baby boy it was rather jarring!


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## Qbear'smama (Jul 15, 2008)

DH and I have no personal experience with intact penises, we fully expect to have a little giggle over DS's when he's born but we're both very happy to be leaving our LO as he was meant to be. I do feel differently now when I see a circ'd baby, I always cringe internally and think "OMG why did they do that to their baby??"


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## tammylsmith (Jul 11, 2008)

My experience is that my chubby baby (6 months) has an adorable little penis that still looks very much like a mini version of dh, even though dh is circ'd (as a side note, this reminds me that I told dh, who isn't worried about ds "looking like him" anyway, that ds will still end up "look like him" because he probably will be well endowed like daddy (smirk) and that sure brought out a smile... and then it occured to me that I simply must share this with other mamas. It is an ingenious way to end that particular argument for good on a positive note







.)

As for ds' penis... It is utterly adorable, just like the rest of his parts







. I love every inch of him and couldn't even fathom cutting or harming any part!


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

Well you know...it _does_ look like a little worm. Nothing wrong with that.


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

LOL about some of the comments and suggestions(-;
Worms are cute! And useful! And natural!
Jessica


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## 13Sandals (Sep 22, 2006)

If it makes you feel better, my 14 year old son (whose dad is circumcised) knows his penis looks like 'a worm' compared to some of his other friends....but when the difference was explained to him he was absolutely horrified at the thought that he too could have lost his foreskin. He has never considered having a foreskin as any kind of disadvantage - even if it does look 'different'.


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## Dave2GA (Jul 31, 2005)

There is a story somewhere in which a young woman said that someone told her the intact penis looked like an anteater. Her intact brother commented that anteaters were optimally designed to do what they were supposed to do, i.e. eat ants. If you would cut the ends of their snouts off they would still be able to eat ants but not as well. He then said that the penis was optimally designed and that he was good at what he did (the implication being that he would not be as good if he had been circed)! I have always thought that that story hit the nail on the head. Let's hear it for anteaters, worms, and elephants!


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## jimblejamble (May 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JordanKX* 
our culture is So used to a perfect little mushroom head staring at you

HAHAHA!!!


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## brant31 (Jan 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JordanKX* 
My girlfriend told me this tonight, while watching me change DS.
"it looks like a little worm".

... it's those comments, even starting at 13months, that will aide to esteem issues. It's not a "worm". It's the way it SHOULD be.


Yeah, what runs through my mind at times like those is, "Hahaha, that's _so_ amusing. A worm! Now let's take off your daughter's diaper and come up with some funny names for what her vulva looks like! And then we'll call her that!"

There's a fairly well-run story on the web about a guy who is now a professor in Los Angeles. He remembers the "sting" of someone telling him one time in the high school locker room that he had a "gun" where he should have an "apple". He never quite got over the comment, and eventually had himself circumcised.

My reaction to reading it is that I would've ignored the comment (if it didn't bother me) or have shot back, "Hmm, and you seem to have oatmeal where you should have brains. From now on, quit looking at my stuff."

It's the job of parents to help their children get over comparisons or teasing by playing games that help self-esteem. Like, "let's see how many names we can come up with for _____." Then show how all the names are silly and can't hurt the child. If names -- neutral or pejorative -- originate with the owner, in a safe situation, it helps the words lose their power to affect.


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## texmati (Oct 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zinemama* 
Well you know...it _does_ look like a little worm. Nothing wrong with that.

don't they all look like little worms at that age?


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## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *brant31* 

There's a fairly well-run story on the web about a guy who is now a professor in Los Angeles. He remembers the "sting" of someone telling him one time in the high school locker room that he had a "gun" where he should have an "apple". He never quite got over the comment, and eventually had himself circumcised.


I would think for guys that having a "gun" down there would be WAY better than an apple!

At least his mother let him undergo to procedure of his own accord, rather than making that decision for him.


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thyra* 
I would think for guys that having a "gun" down there would be WAY better than an apple!

At least his mother let him undergo to procedure of his own accord, rather than making that decision for him.











His body. His choice.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

Also, it is a human tendency to compare things. That is why we are so fond of simile and metaphor and have been since recorded writing and no doubt before. (Genitals being an extremely popular subject in this regard.) Sometimes these comparisons can be mean. But I don't think this one is. It is not something I would get worked up about.


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## Emma Bryan Fuller (Dec 17, 2007)

me too the first time i saw a circed one i was a little shocked. I was changing a friends babies diaper and there was blood...he was days old and i was freaking out. I thought something was really wrong, silly me.

My son (9) saw his friends penis???? a circed one and said it was all pink and had a ball on the end?? like something was wrong with it. He didn't question his own! Myself, i have never seen a circed adult just that poor little boy with blood in his diaper.


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## SpiderMum (Sep 13, 2008)

I think baby/toddler foreskins are adorable! They wiggle when they run!







When I see a circed child I feel dirty because that's not something I should be seeing.


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## JulianneW (Dec 17, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MovnMama*
> 
> If it helps you philosophically, DH is "intact" but his foreskin retracted during puberty. He actually had forgotten he was intact and thought that he was circumcised... and so did I!
> 
> ...


So I have a question for you. What do you mean it retracted during puberty? It's my understanding that all mens foreskin retract during puberty and that depending on their penis growth and the amount of foreskin they have, that its quite common for the foreskin to not cover all of the glans once they are fully developed men.

Oh and just FYI to those who have never seen one in my experience an intact adult aroused man looks identical to a cut one besides the lack of scar and the presence of the frenular delta.


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## Hazelpuss (Jan 18, 2011)

"It looks like a little worm"! And why ever not, until puberty it has only one function, to urinate through, and indicate the gender of the owner. If it satisfies those functions, it is perfect. As Hubby says, "It hardly gets bigger, although the rest of you does, until those hormones get going." "But it's still big enough." You can take it from him, intact would have been better, but a doctor decided otherwise.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MovnMama*
> 
> If it helps you philosophically, DH is "intact" but his foreskin retracted during puberty. He actually had forgotten he was intact and thought that he was circumcised... and so did I!
> 
> ...


This is the type of thing I always mean when I talk about the Dr. never knowing how much skin is to much. Obviously had your dh been circed he would have lost way to much skin since he grew all the way into his foreskin. He is one lucky guy.


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## MoonJelly (Sep 10, 2004)

I don't mean this to be snarky in any way, but you haven't ever pulled up a picture of one?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JordanKX*
> 
> I've never been with an intact man, so I've never seen an adult.


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## MovnMama (Jul 3, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *JulianneW*
> 
> So I have a question for you. What do you mean it retracted during puberty? It's my understanding that all mens foreskin retract during puberty and that depending on their penis growth and the amount of foreskin they have, that its quite common for the foreskin to not cover all of the glans once they are fully developed men.
> 
> Oh and just FYI to those who have never seen one in my experience an intact adult aroused man looks identical to a cut one besides the lack of scar and the presence of the frenular delta.


I think you are right, although I suspect you know a lot more technical terminology than I do. The issue with DH is that *the whole foreskin* is permanently retracted, even when unaroused. It is common for some of the foreskin to retract in uncirc'ed men, but his doesn't cover *any of the head* at all whatsoever. It looks like there's no foreskin at all, just a little baggy under the head, but, not to be too technical, doesn't it all look baggy when not aroused, cut or uncut? Anyway, aroused or not, it looks completely circ'ed, even though it's not.

An for the record, I have dated uncut men, so I know the difference in how they look. Not being snarky, just trying to clarify the question.


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## JulianneW (Dec 17, 2010)

Thanks for clarifying! I had never heard of that. It really is impossible know how much foreskin they will need. I agree in my experience they are both a little baggy when flaccid.

And yes I can imagine how surprised him mother would have been!


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## AnnDMFT (Dec 18, 2010)

The first time our DD (3) saw our DS being bathed as a newborn, she just looked at his penis and finally said: "Look. Look at that candle, mama." Later on that night, after he was dressed and everything, she said: "Lemme see that candle again!"


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## ancoda (Oct 17, 2005)

My 3 year old thinks his looks like a hot dog. He loves to retract himself a little and announce look mama hot dog in a wrapper.


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## vachi73 (Mar 26, 2009)

This made me squirt water out of my nose. Too funny! Kids do and say the funniest things! thanks for the laugh!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ancoda*
> 
> My 3 year old thinks his looks like a hot dog. He loves to retract himself a little and announce look mama hot dog in a wrapper.


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## CBEmomma (Oct 24, 2010)

Eh, I think it looks like a little worm. It won't always look like that, but at 9 months it does.


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