# loss of one twin



## dmarieb (Dec 9, 2006)

At 10 weeks - Christmas Day - we found out we lost one twin. Since then, my dr has said he wants me in every two weeks for an ultrasound. That in between week is torture, wondering if the other baby is okay. I did not pass the one baby. My dr said I will absorb it. But I continue to bleed and my nerves are so shot! Out of the past 3 weeks, I have bled for more than 2 of them. Just when it stops for a day, it starts up again. Is this normal? And how long should I expect to bled? I am taking 400mg prometrium at night. I hoped that would help and stop the bleeding. At my last ultrasound, my dr said I had a hemotoma and should expect this, but for how long??!?!


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced this but hopefully someone here will have some good words of wisdom for you. You are going through so much, I can only imagine how stressful and exhausting it must be to be so worried. Sending a big hug your way, mama


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## CathToria (Sep 6, 2003)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost 1 twin at 14 weeks. That twin (baby A) just reabsorbed.

Baby B is my perfect, beautiful 4 year old. Everything else with her pregnancy was fine.

FWIU, as long as your babies have seperate cords, etc. they shouldn't have an effect on wach other.

I do know that my loss wasn't recognized by my friends and family as a true loss... after all I was still pregnant







: . But i was attached to that baby just as I would have been to any singelton child, and the loss was just heartbreaking to me. I prayed nightly during my pregnancy that the twin would reappear, hoping that the baby ha dnot disappeared but was instead hiding out from the u/s wand. I look at my daughter daily and wonder what her twin would look like, if he/she would have her sweet disposition or her beautiful eyes.

My dd and the rest of my kids know that dd was a twin. I have pages about her twin written up in her baby book.

HTH


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

The pregnancy with my oldest daughter was a twin pregnancy. I didn't have any bleeding but it was absorbed by the time I had my next US, around 14 weeks.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

I'm so sorry about your loss.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

Diane -






























I am sorry that there are those who don't recognize this babe's passing as a a loss for you. In some ways it must be comforting to be able to love and nurture the twin still with you - but the loss must be overwhelming at times. I am so sorry for you. May you find peace.


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## Jenns_3_babies (May 26, 2006)

I just wanted to say that I had a hematoma with this current pg. I had gushes of blood at 15 1/2 weeks, so much that it soaked thru my khakis and ran down my legs. I continued to bleed and spot for the next 4 weeks. My dr said to expect that. The baby's fine, but I still worry. I also have cervical erosion which anything can cause the cervix to bleed/cramp


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## dmarieb (Dec 9, 2006)

thank you, all of you, for your kind words of encouragement. At my last u/s, the hematoma was still there, not as large. I just wish my body would pass this and I could move on.

Jenn_wants_3, just as you said, the gushing is what scares me the most. Somedays it's just spotting, and others I go through pads. I asked my dr how long I should expect this to go on and he said throughout the rest of my pregnancy.







: At first, I was so scared to pass the one twin. I made sure my husband was with me every single time I went to the bathroom. I didn't want to be alone. But now on the ultrasound, you can see that little angel is being absorbed.

CathToria,
I can't tell you how many times I, also, have prayed that the baby would reappear! I haven't even told my husband that wish. It seemed to silly, but now I realize it is natural and normal. Thank you for sharing that with me! I too hope to share with all of the kids about the sibling they have in heaven. I know I will never forget and I want this angel to be a part of our family, always.


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## blaqpearl (Nov 16, 2006)

So sorry for your loss. It must be aggravating that your family doesnt see the loss as you do. I know it hurts very much. Hang in there. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. After this hurdle it should be smooth sailing for you.


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## Jenns_3_babies (May 26, 2006)

"I asked my dr how long I should expect this to go on and he said throughout the rest of my pregnancy"

I'm surprised!! Mine said I would bleed off and on with spotting in between for a couple weeks. It took I think 4 weeks to stop. I guess the gushing that I had released most of the clot or hematoma (whatever it is), and I had the after effects for awhile after. I remember I had really bad pressure in the cervical area and sentisitivity. It really sucked!! I thought for sure my cervix was opening.

I spotted/bled most of my pregnancy w/my DD. It was due to the placenta tearing away at the edges.

I spotted a few times w/ my DS, which the cause was never known. I just brushed it off thinking it's fairly normal to bleed, at least for me.

Although you lost 1 twin, you are out of the woods for the most part now with this one....YOu made it past the 1st 12 weeks!! I remember the ER dr told me that it wasn't too 'common' to miscarry at my stage in the pregnancy. I was 15 1/2 weeks at the time of the gushing.

I wish you best of luck. I'll be looking for periodic updates.


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## napua (Feb 1, 2006)

I am very sorry for the loss of your baby. I lost one of my twins as well and it is still very difficult for me to deal with at times. I found out at 6.5 weeks that one of my babies was not doing well...after that it took about 4 weeks for me to miscarry. I bled on and off during that month and it was so scary. I would go days with just spotting and then all of a sudden I would gush a lot of very dark blood but I never passed any tissue. My Dr told me that since they were in two different sacs that Baby A would most likely be ok. He is now almost 8 months old and a perfect doll!
It is sad to lose a baby and somehow people make it worse when they act as though since you still have one of the twins that it is ok and doesn't matter. I hate that. I hated the fact that people dismissed my baby like he never exsisted.







You have every right to mourn the loss of your twin. I made sure that my 5 year old knew that we lost her little brothers twin and that he still holds a special place in our hearts. She is so sweet about that, her sincere care has really touched me.

I hope that you can find peace and that your little one grows well in your belly.


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## dmarieb (Dec 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *napua* 
I would go days with just spotting and then all of a sudden I would gush a lot of very dark blood but I never passed any tissue.

napua, that is exactly what is happening to me. One day I'll have a gush of blood and then just spotting for days and days. Then I'll get one day of nothing, and I start to feel better about it. Then a gush. At this point, it seems to just be a lot of bloody mucous. I assume that's normal. I wish I could get a break from it. Just when I put all my pads away for a day, the next day it all comes back. It is so aggravating.

jenns_3_babies, right now, it's been 4 weeks and I am *thinking* the bleeding is beginning to subside. As I posted to napua above, it comes and goes. Now with just bloody mucous, I am hoping that 4 week mark is the magic number, at least for me, as well.

Thank you ladies for all of your encouragement. I wanted to remember my little angel throughout my happiness of this pregnancy. Since I am spiritual, I stumbled upon a beautiful cross necklace that has 2 crosses on it. The 2nd cross is actually a shadow of the first cross. So they are one upon the other. For me, it is a gentle reminder that this baby has a guardian angel in heaven taking special care of his/her sibling. It has helped me to heal a bit by looking at it everyday and running my fingers over it. I don't ever want to forget this little one.

Randomly this week, my 4 year old asked me if I had 2 babies in my belly. It really took me off guard. I said that yes, I did have two babies but now only one. She asked me if 2 babies were just to heavy for me to carry. I said that God must have known that and took one baby right to heaven for us to meet later. And God still gave us one little baby to know here. She seemed content with that answer. But it really amazed me that she picked up on everything over the past month.

Thank you for your support through this. I am still on pins and needles over this little one still growing inside me. I don't think I'll be able to rest until he/she is safely in my arms. And then I think I will always look at him/her and wonder about my other one. Is it normal to have a bittersweet feeling about this? I wonder what I will feel on the day I deliver.


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## CathToria (Sep 6, 2003)

The I delivered my dd (the twin). I was still hoping that the other baby would come out too (though by this time I really did know that there wouldn't be a 2nd). I also had my MW really look at the placenta for any signs of teh twin (she said there was nothing)

Once my baby was here, it really did help with the real sad feelings about the twin. I still wish that I had both of them, but the love for 1 baby did overshadow the sharp pain of losing the 2nd.

HTH


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## MossbackMeadow (Nov 1, 2002)

I had an undiagnosed twin pregnancy in 96. At about 16 weeks into what I thought was a normal pregnancy, I had terrible cramping for about 24 hours. I was plannning a homeborth and never had an ultrasound. Didn't think anything else about it until the birth when I delivered a strong baby boy and then a empty sac of water about half size, and a smaller second placenta. The midwife said it had been a twin pregnancy and my first initial thought was relief. Thank goodness I didn't have to push out a second one!
About a day later I got very very sad.
My son is named Zane, we decided to call the other twin Zoe.

Elizabeth Noble's book "Having Twins" includes a section on this vanishing twin phenomenon.


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## dmarieb (Dec 9, 2006)

Just an update - I haven't had any bleeding or spotting now for 2 days - what a relief! On Monday, i will be 16 weeks. So I think I'm heading out of this stage of things. I truly hope that 5 1/2 weeks of bleeding was enough. We prayerfully thought over our angel and decided to name her Sarah. I am truly feeling okay with this journey. I know the day I deliver will be so bittersweet. But for now, I feel strong. Thank you all - you're so supportive!


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