# Hospital Birthers: Were You Able to Bedshare with Your Newborn?



## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

I've never had a baby in a hospital, so I'm wondering about the logistics of bringing your new baby into your bed with you to sleep. I've heard that some nurses scorn the practice, and others don't care what you do. What was your experience?


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

I think they just assumed I was always holding the beab, normal practice for an excited new Mama.


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## listipton (Jun 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Maluhia* 
I think they just assumed I was always holding the beab, normal practice for an excited new Mama.

I was also 'nursing' ds every time a nurse came in. Poor dh, he barely got to hold ds in the hospital.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I think it depends on the hospital and individual nurses - but I don't think they can truly stop you from co-sleeping, yk?

I've had four babies (all c-sections) in 2 different hospitals (with a handful of nurses between all the shift changes during the 3-day stays. All four slept on my chest, all night long.







I wouldn't have had it any other way. I had a couple nurses comment, but no one _made_ me put the baby in a plastic box. I think it helped that DH stayed with me each night, so they didn't worry about me being unable to put the baby down (again, surgical births) or anything. In my situation, I was in an adjustable, single bed in a semi-upright position so I was super comfy with baby on my chest - nursing when needed. Some rooms have double beds, and some don't - so that's something you may want to consider.


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## Nicole730 (Feb 27, 2009)

I delivered at a "baby friendly" hospital. So rooming in was assumed, as was breastfeeding. DH, baby, and I all shared a double bed the two nights we were there. There was a bassinet in the room, but it was only used when the nurses changed the diapers and checked baby's temp.


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## MamaMelis (Oct 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nicole730* 
I delivered at a "baby friendly" hospital. So rooming in was assumed, as was breastfeeding. DH, baby, and I all shared a double bed the two nights we were there. There was a bassinet in the room, but it was only used when the nurses changed the diapers and checked baby's temp.

This was pretty much my experience to a T


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## BanditaMamacita (Aug 17, 2009)

I had my babies in a hospital-attached birth center, and i chose to spend 2 nights in the hospital with my first. The hospital is very baby friendly, and the staff seemed well aware of the "different needs and wants of birth center families, " as they put it to me, so no one ever said a word about co-sleeping, and made a point of asking about things that most hospital moms accept without question, like baths and hearing tests. So I dunno if my "birth center status" made a difference, or if they wouldn't have said anything anyway. Oh, and in the birth center, where we stayed for about 6 hours before transferring, there was only a double bed... no bassinet at all.


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## lach (Apr 17, 2009)

I said that there was staff disapproval, but that might be a bit harsh: a nurse came in the very first night while DS was sleeping next to me and I was dozing, and she said that I shouldn't let DS sleep in my bed that night, because the drugs in my system from my C-Section might still be dulling my reflexes and making me sleep heavier than is safe while co-sleeping.

So I don't know if there was a hospital policy about bed-sharing, and I didn't really care to find out: I made sure that it didn't really come up after that. And she may very well have had a point. Not that it actually stopped me!


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

With DD1, no one said anything one way or the other.

With DD2 (different hospital, same geographic location), cosleeping was outright encouraged.


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

There was rooming in at the hospital where DS was born, no nursery. I coslept with him and some of the staff tried to give me flack about it but I just rolled over and ignored them.


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## boringscreenname (Sep 26, 2007)

I slept with DS the entire time we were in the hospital. All the nurses just assumed I was holding him.

One nurse jumped all over me, and said he wasn't allowed to sleep with me, but she didn't make me put him elsewhere. I just shot her a look and she eventually went away. I didn't like that nurse one bit, I always breathed a sigh of relief at shift change.


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## crpsmnwife (Aug 17, 2007)

I had my first son in the hospital, and the nurses DID NOT approve of bed sharing. For the first 48 hours I woke up every time anyone entered my room so that they would think I was awake holding my baby (I was exhausted and didn't think that one out entirely)... I was caught by the ONE sympathetic nursing aide on the 2nd night. I started awake when she was already in my room, and I just stared at her like "I totally wasn't sleeping with my baby, but if I were, I'll bite your head off for saying anything". But she was awesome, she just winked at me and let it go.

When my best friend had her baby in the same hospital one year later, I ran interference for her the entire first day so that she didn't have to deal too much with the "hospital policy".


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

It was activly discouraged where I birthed. There were signs all over saying something about the bassinet being the safest place for baby to sleep and one of the nurses told me a story about a baby "falling out of mom's bed" recently.

I don't know what would have happened if they had caught me co-sleeping. I was too exhausted/unsure to try it. I didn't really plan on co-sleeping at that point. Amusingly enough that 2nd night in the hospital trying to get DD to sleep more than 5-10 min out of contact w/ me was one of the things that made me re-think the whole "baby must sleep in her own bed" thing.

I voted other, I'd say I was fairly neutral about bedsharing and didn't give it a try because of disapproval.


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## Perdita_in_Ontario (Feb 7, 2007)

The first shift nurse was quite vocal about not having the baby in bed with me while asleep. Apparently "against hospital policy". I was so out of it after a long labour and delivery that I think I just went with it (and to be honest, I was quite happy to have DD swaddled in the bassinet beside me - it was also a rooming-in hospital). As it turns out, I found out later, that nurse was notorious for pushing her opinions... anyway we did a bit of co-sleeping as soon as I figured out side-lying.

Different hospital for this coming baby, and a midwife delivery planned. If I'm told we are not "allowed" to bed-share, and if the nurses made life difficult, we'll just discharge ourselves early and come home. But I suspect based on everything else I've heard about this hospital, there won't be any discouragement.


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## BugMacGee (Aug 18, 2006)

#2 never stopped BF'ing while we were in the hospital. Literally, she never slept more than 1/2 hour unless I was holding her. No one minded. Except me. I was a zombie for the next 2 years!!!


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

Other. We didn't have any plans ahead of time about what we were going to do and the staff never said anything about sleeping arrangements to us. Ds was very fussy, I was exhausted from a long labor. Dh slept on a cot and ds slept on his chest.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

With DD, a c section, I had no comments about it, but i did have some open mouth gaping from lunch tray droppers off about the big breasts hanging out.







I didn't really have her in bed with me asleep when someone else wasn't awake though. It is a big drop.

With DS, he was a homebirth but was hospitalized briefly at about a week old. They didn't give me a hard time in pediatrics either, and when I really NEEDED to sleep but DH was out and DS was fussy, the fantastic nurse carried him up and down the halls snuggled in her arms for about an hour.


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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

I had two c sections and was able to sleep w/my girls. No objection from staff. I can see how someone would see it as dangerous ... come on, big drop, hard floor, drugged mom. However, I brought a sling and just basically tied them to my chest!

Also, you could bring a low blow up bed and put the baby between the two of you (your spouse and you) or next to you ... baby's too young to roll really. That way, there would be no real risk of a drop.

You'd have to ask the staff to move out the big hospital bed, but if I had it to do over again, I might do that, bring a blow up.

Liz


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## isign (Jan 17, 2008)

Our hospital is still archaic. With number 1, he was born late at night and hospital policy dictated four hours in the nursery. By the time I got him back, it was almost morning. I didn't know much about bed sharing, but honestly don't remember what we did.

With number 2, I was not going to put her in a plastic box. The first night one of the nurses came in and told me I couldn't. I ended up spending the next 2 nights sleeping sitting up and waking up everytime someone came in. I was not making her sleep in the box.


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CatskillMtnMama* 
I can see how someone would see it as dangerous ... come on, big drop, hard floor, drugged mom. However, I brought a sling and just basically tied them to my chest!

It occurred to me (the OP) that I should have factored in the effects of the drugs.







Those _can_ adversely affect bedsharing if you're all but knocked out. Great idea with the sling!


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## artemis80 (Sep 8, 2006)

I voted "no trouble," but when we explicitly asked, the nurse said "Well, the baby _should_ sleep in the bassinet." But nobody ever stopped us. That said, we didn't really sleep much in the hospital. I don't think I ever fell deeply asleep with ds in the bed (or for the next six weeks, but that's a different story.)


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## midnightmommy (Apr 14, 2008)

With my son six years ago I was told in clear terms that it was not allowed. I feel asleep on accident with him, and was woken up by a nurse asking if she could take him to the nursery since I was too sleepy to stay up with him, and he was only happy being held. Me being a first time mom caved.

With my baby I just had in May at a different hospital it was a different story. I was ready for them to tell me no, but was very surprised when the nurse actually tucked us in bed together. Then the next morning my new nurse was all smiles when she saw us curled up together sound asleep.


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

I bedshared with approval and encouragement from staff. The lactation consultant also showed me how to nurse side-lying.


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## AllyRae (Dec 10, 2003)

DS1 was a hospital birth in 2003 in Massachusetts and I kept trying to bedshare and the nurses would keep coming into the room and try to take him away. They said if I put him in the bed one more time and fell asleep, they'd take him to the nursery. So, I plopped something in front of the door so I'd wake up if I heard them come in.







:

DS2 passed away at birth and DD1 was adopted so no answer for those.

DD2 was born via c-section at 36 weeks and needed a lot of skin to skin contact. The night of her birth, my husband tried to drive home in a blizzard and then ended up in a hotel because the snow was so bad. So, I was alone in the hospital room with a baby post c-section. I kept her in the bed with me but stayed up all night because I was afraid the nurses would try to take her. That went on a couple more days until day 3 of the 5 day stay when one of the nurses saw her laying on my chest with every pillow in the bed propped up along the rail of the bed (so the baby couldn't roll/fall through the rail). The nurse laughed and said "you know, you can get some sleep. Keep her on your chest so you both get some rest. You're not a first time mom and you've done this before". And this was at a major teaching hospital/medical school. The next two nights in the hospital rocked because we both slept all night!

ETA: I kept the bed in a semi-reclined position and had the absolute bare minimum of pain meds...I was off narcotics within a couple days and was walking around less than 12 hours post-c-section so they weren't too worried about my reflexes.







:


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

DD had severe jaundice due to AB/O incompatibility, so had to be incubated for light therapy for much of our 6 day stay - though we did bedshare - in the hospital bed - with lots of pillows - until her jaundice was diagnosed. After that, we roomshared, and was in my arms as often as possible while nursing. It was a baby friendly designated hospital, so room/bedsharing was encouraged. No problems with holding her as much as we wanted (other than the obvious - the less time she was under the lights, the higher her bili levels went)

DS also had severe jaundice due to AB/O incompatibility, and was also preterm (36 weeks). We were prepared this time, and due to pretermness I insisted on keeping him skin to skin, and phototherapy was done with a biliblanket. Biliblanket is less effective than incubator light therapy, so we had to treat for 2 weeks at home, but hospital stay was only 3 days, instead of 6!








This hospital did NOT encourage bed sharing or rooming in, and the nurses were frequently asking me if I'd rather have him in the nursery, or in the basinette next to the bed ("aren't you TIRED of holding him?" WHAT?







). The thing is... when you have had a C-section, getting the baby OUT of the basinette requires another person, at least at first, so there was no way I was letting DS go. Basically, we stayed connected from birth (oh yes, I insisted on him being placed on my chest immediately post-C as well ... they LOVED us at that hospital. HA!). There were a couple awesome nurses though, who really GOT it.

So, anyway, I voted the second option. Cause I did it anyway.


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## bjerme (Nov 13, 2009)

I had csections, was was able to sleep with the babies. All of the nurses thought it was great.


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## Sheryl1678 (Sep 15, 2006)

The birth experience itself was horrific but oddly enough they were very breastfeeding and bedsharing friendly. In fact, I attribute my breastfeeding success to the lactation consultant who sat with me most of the night and made sure my daughter's latch was right. My daughter never went to the nursery and they had no problem with it.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

I was only in the hospital about 12 hours pp, but I refused to let him go into a "salad crisper" as my DH renamed their little plastic tubs they called baby beds. The nurses were not happy and kept wanting me to put him in one, but did not push TOO hard. But then again, we were a bunch of trouble for them already, so they just really wanted us gone!


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## LemonPie (Sep 18, 2006)

I did with all three of mine with no problems.

With my first I fell asleep with baby in bed next to me and woke to a nurse tucking a pillow in between him and the metal rail on the bed so he wouldn't fall out.

With my second, postpartum was full and I was transferred to pediatrics, which actually was awesome. They basically left us alone except to take vitals a few times. I co-slept despite signs posted all over the place warning against it. Nobody said a word.

Number 3 was an emergency c-section under general anesthesia (so I didn't get the spinal duramorph which meant a lot of post-op pain). I did eventually co-sleep a little with her after the first 24 hrs or so. DH and my mom both took turns staying with me in the hospital overnight to help, so most of the time if she wasn't with me, she was in bed with DH or Grandma. Grandma, by the way, is a postpartum nurse on that very floor. DD got a little warm being all bundled up and under the covers with her and had a high-temp reading, but since my mom was able to vouch for why we didn't have go through the whole fever protocol


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## lucifugous (Nov 13, 2008)

Where I delivered, they had the little newborn-bed-on-a-cart in the room and no nursery for healthy babies. Now that I really think about it, I think one person might have mentioned something about the baby being in the bed. Overall I didn't get the impression of any negativity about cosleeping. I guess I never had any doubt that's what we were going to do, though. I did put her in the little cart bed for a little while... didn't help me rest any better .
I forget when or what I was reading, but I was under the impression that hospitals were phasing out nurseries. That's a step in the right direction!


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## Litcrit (Feb 23, 2009)

It was encouraged.


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## cileag (Aug 16, 2008)

We just got an email reminder that it is not allowed where I work. A baby did just fall on the floor I guess. My standard reply is to gently tell them that officially it's against hospital policy, but that they are adults and can make decisions themselves.


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## AutumnAir (Jun 10, 2008)

It was decidedly frowned upon in the hospital that we transferred too, but I had lost everything else I'd wanted from that birth and I was adamant I was not going to give up on breastfeeding and bonding with my baby, so I bed-shared despite all the nastiness. It was also a good way to prevent them from stealing DD while I was asleep - they seemed totally intent on taking her away to the nursery every time my back was turned, and then I wouldn't get her back for hours







It was a very long 4 days.

But I'm glad we bed-shared in the hospital; it helped me to feel that I was doing *something* right, and we're still bed-sharing at nearly 2 yo!


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## prancie (Apr 18, 2007)

i had an emergency transfer from a homebirth in a state where midwifery is illegal. So I was an oddity already but I hardly ever put him down and one night when a nurse came in really late she looked at ds and said to me, "I'd never let him go either" I thought it was a really sweet thing to say. It also told me I was the talk of the nursing station.

I also co-slept with ds at the area children's hospital when he was 2 months old and had had a fall (he was fine). Apparently it's very common and the nurses didn't think anything of it. I think a lot more people bedshare than we are led to believe by the media.


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## MissRubyandKen (Nov 2, 2005)

I was made to sign a paper stating that if I slept with the baby in the bed they would take the baby out. I did hold the baby almost the entire time in the bed and got next to no sleep at all the entire time I was in the hospital. What little bit of sleep I did get was when dp was holding the baby. It was wretched.


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## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

I am unable to sleep in the hospital so I did not sleep for 2 days following my csec. I did however hold DD in bed with me most of the time.


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## onemoremom (Jun 8, 2007)

At my sons birth (6 years ago in a southern NH hospital) room sharing was assumed, bed sharing was never commented on, and all the nurses who worked with new moms had at least some training in lactation. They helped me get into a side-lying position so I could rest more while he ate. In the paperwork in the room, one sheet was instructions on how to bedshare safely while in the hospital (rails up, etc..). Another was basic instructions on how to use a sling (and informed us that at least one brand was available in the gift shop). There was also a hotline to call, available 24/7, for help and advice with nursing once we got home.

I was still glad to get home where I could relax more in my own space, but overall I was pleased that a lot of these things that some moms have to fight for, or simply aren't 'allowed' in some hospitals, were treated as normal and expected.


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## kitkat5505 (Feb 22, 2005)

With my first 2 I didn't even think to co-sleep in the hospital, but I wish for my first I had thought to do it, I couldn't get out of bed the first night and my DH is a very heavy sleeper so it was hard to get him to wake up to bring me the baby when he cried.

Anyway, my last one was born at the only "baby friendly" certified hospital in the state and they were awesome. Rooming in was expected and they didn't so much as blink an eye when I co-slept with him. It was so much easier that way.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I did with both and never heard a word.


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## Comtessa (Sep 16, 2008)

Um, I'm just impressed that any of you manage to sleep in the hospital at all. I'm firmly convinced that our hospital's policy was slow torture through sleep deprivation. The one time we did manage to fall asleep for an hour or so w/ DD in the bassinet (DH and I were squeezed together on the hospital bed and there wasn't much room for baby too), they snuck into our room and _took her away without our permission and against our explicit written instructions_. I woke up in time to see the door closing behind them, FLEW out of bed and down the hall to the nursery, threw open the door and demanded that they return my child. (ETA: Running down the hall in the middle of the night after waking out of a sound sleep a few hours after a three-day labor and very difficult birth? Rather a feat of strength. Talk about mama-bear adrenaline.) After that, I refused to put her down again until we were safely home.


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## GardenStream (Aug 21, 2007)

I had my DS2 in a baby friendly hospital. I had a c-section, so I was in a hospital style bed and DH slept on a bench that converted to a bed. DS was always sleeping with me in bed, or on DH's bed with him. Nobody ever said a word to us and they definitely knew that DH was sound asleep with the baby in his bed.


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## Tizzy (Mar 16, 2007)

DS1 was a C/S and thus we spent two nights in the hospital (he was born at 11pm and I spent one more night there). My lovely night nurse was a real cow about me sleeping with him. I was VERY careful with extra pillows, side rail up etc. but she still made a huge fuss. I was not on any pain medications but it took several hours for my spinal to wear off. So I was basically paralyzed from my stomach down.

Every time the night nurse came in to check on me, she'd take him and put him back in the bassinet. When she left, I would lift him up using the blanket as a sling and bring him back to bed with me. Highly annoying but I was beyond the point of throwing a fit. DH was not able to stay overnight with me at all.
Then she made such a fuss the 2nd night because I knew I needed to be up and walking around to ensure an early discharge, so I didn't mind walking the halls with DS. She kept trying to take him from me so she could walk with him, and I kept telling her there was no way she was taking him out of my sight. Besides, I wasn't going to have any help at home so I'd better figure things out pretty quick myself







The poor day nurse was so nice to me but I was already pretty crabby from my overnight experiences.


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## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

I was very much out of it due to Mg-Sulfate for 24 hours, but was encouraged to bedshare to keep DS's temperature at bay (he was very tiny and got cold quickly). I didn't know or read much about co-sleeping at that point and was just happy DS was fine, not vaccinated, without vitamin K shot and didn't get eye ointments and that nobody wanted to circ him I guess. Next time I will have baby with me all the time (depending on my condition, of course).


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## MaddieMay (Jul 14, 2006)

I was too drugged up from an unplanned c-section, so we didn't bedshare the first night. DS slept either next to me in a bassinet or with DH the entire time. I did sleep with DS on my chest beginning on the second day and no one said a word to me about it.


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## Lovinmum (Aug 22, 2008)

I bedshared with my first, no problem. The nurses just assumed I would since I was nursing.









My second was in the NICU and we did kangaroo care for 3 days straight until he was released. I have never been half naked so long in my life. lol


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## meganmarie (Jan 29, 2005)

Quote:

a nurse came in the very first night while DS was sleeping next to me and I was dozing, and she said that I shouldn't let DS sleep in my bed that night, because the drugs in my system from my C-Section might still be dulling my reflexes and making me sleep heavier than is safe while co-sleeping.
While I'm a passionate advocate for co-sleeping, I actually do side with cautious nurses on this one: mamas taking percoset etc. medications for c/s really, really should not bed share. Its just a whole other level of risk. My RN-sister took care of a mama in the hospital recovering from c/s, who checked out early (understandably wanting to be home with her baby). They learned the next day that she had overlain her baby while on the medications. Horribly tragic.

I do wish some hospitals would be a little more lenient with mamas who aren't on any meds however. With baby #1 they were absolute martinets about it and discouraged rooming in because you weren't even allowed to BE ASLEEP while your baby was in a bassinet next to you. You could technically room in, but someone needed to stay awake the whole night if you did. Totally absurd. You can bet your behind I took my healthcare dollars to a different hospital for baby #2.


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## Ahappymel (Nov 20, 2001)

When my 1st was born, I was told that he had to be in the bedside bassinet for safety reasons (I hadn't even asked or planned on bedsharing...this info was just disseminated by one of the nurses unsolicited).
Well, I fell asleep that first night with him beside me, nursing. A nurse (different one) walked in and I awoke startled, thinking I was going to get scolded. Instead, she saw us snuggled up and just smiled and walked back out


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## Ahappymel (Nov 20, 2001)

But...I will add that I don't really think a hospital bed is a safe co-sleeping situation. Especially if a mom is drugged somehow. That bed is high off the hard floor and those rails don't prevent a little baby from falling off.
I think the hospital actually has some justification in wanting the baby in a safer sleep space. They are also thinking of liability issues as well as safety ones.
Having said that, I am still glad I had my little one with me in my arms those first two nights.


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## Girlprof (Jun 11, 2007)

With baby #1, we got a little flack from one nurse who walked in and couldn't find the baby - he was snuggled up with me. She sort of said "We don't really approve of that" and I just shrugged. With baby #2 (different hospital), no one ever said a thing.


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## wbg (Mar 28, 2008)

My hospital births were in Australia and co sleeping was their idea! It was just part of the norm there, so I did not even think about it.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

I bedshared without any trouble from staff, and I hadnt even begun to read MDC co sleeping boards yet. I had never even heard of the term. I just wanted to sleep so bad, and he didnt want to be in that little bed thingy. SO I swaddled him and curled him up in my arms and took a nap. I remmeber a nurse walking in, and I thought, "is she going to yell at me?" but she never said a word.


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## mata (Apr 20, 2006)

my first hospital birth was in NY 10 years ago-no problem cosleeping.
second hospital birth was in CA 6 years ago-also no problem.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

With dd1 who was a section I knew nothing about co-sleeping but ended up doing it with no comment.

With dd2, another section, I was so tired the second night and she wouldn't settle and the nurse suggested I just take her into bed with me, just to set up the pillows so she couldn't fall out.

I do find the hospital beds a little nerve wracking for co-sleeping.


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## April Dawn (Oct 31, 2009)

I was woken on my son's first night by a nurse freaking out and snatching him out of my bed to put him back in his plastic bassinet. My hospital was definitely NOT ok with bedsharing!


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

They put DS in a bassinet next to my bed. I would take him out to nurse him and we would fall asleep together. The first two times the nurse came in, she would take him and put him back in the bassinet. (I was sleeping or pretending to). I would wait till they left and put him back in bed with me. After the second time, they left me alone and didn't say anything. I'm not sure if they had a policy on it or not, but they didn't fight against it.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

With baby #1 who was born 18 years ago, bedsharing was not allowed at all. In fact, they only brought her to me from the nursery when they decided it was time for her to eat.

Baby #2, 11 yrs ago, bedsharing was strongly discouraged but I did it a bit anyway, even though the nurses made me feel guilty for it.

Baby #3 was born 4 yrs ago with a midwife & *not* bedsharing was never even mentioned!









The next 2 babies were born at home so it was never an issue.









It is truly amazing how much *everything* has changed since I had my DD 18 yrs ago!


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## LiLStar (Jul 7, 2006)

before my first baby was born, the idea of bedsharing in the hospital sounded kinda dangerous because of the hospital bed with those metal rails that a baby could get trapped in or something, and not being able to make it safe like we do at home.

I ended up with a c-section and when we were first in the room dd was in the little fish tank thing and we were sleeping (she was born a little after midnight, we were exhausted!) then, she starts crying and I couldn't get up to go get her! dh wouldn't wake up, even though I was yelling at him to wake up and bring her to me. Then a nurse came in (my nurse, not a baby nurse) and I asked her to bring her to me. She was like, "umm..you want me to pick her up? I've never actually held a baby before.."..SERIOUSLY! So I had her wake dh and he brought her to me himself (and he had never held a baby before either!) He has no memory of that! From then she slept with me only and the fish tank thingie was used only as a changing table.

It quickly became VERY obvious that she was perfectly safe sleeping there, no matter how deeply I slept. Having just had surgery, I couldn't move without immense effort. The possibility of rolling over onto her was laughable. Whatever position we would sleep in, there was simply no way that position was going to change unless there was very specific and deliberate effort to change positions!


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## GardenStream (Aug 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LiLStar* 
It quickly became VERY obvious that she was perfectly safe sleeping there, no matter how deeply I slept. Having just had surgery, I couldn't move without immense effort. The possibility of rolling over onto her was laughable. Whatever position we would sleep in, there was simply no way that position was going to change unless there was very specific and deliberate effort to change positions!

That's exactly how I felt. Scooting over a few inches required concentrated effort. Rolling over was excruciating, no chance that would happen accidentally.


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## mrsjtc (Dec 23, 2008)

At our hosiptial - which is pretty natural birth friendly (unfortunately not very vbac friendly - they expect that you will room-in and sleep with your baby. The nurses even helped me get comfortable nursing while laying down so we could sleep together. The only time they ever took my babies away from me was when I asked for some time to rest before going home. They also let us go home after about 8-10 hours. I had to bring baby to my ped. office (which is across the street from my house) a couple days later but no issue other wise.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

In the first hospital, with my first son they made a fuss about it. "What if you fall asleep and squash him".









Next two babies, different hospital, no problem.


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## khaoskat (May 11, 2006)

3 babies, 3 somewhat different experiences.

DS1 - My OB actually walked into the room the afternoon after he was born, looked in the little bassinet and didn't see him. He then asked me where he was, I move the blankets slightly away and he just smiled. Never had an issue with the nurses about it either.

DS2 - birth center on a queen sized bed had no issue about him sleeping there with me. Since the room was needed for another momma coming in, i was moved to the hospital PP floor for the night. The nurses there freaked out about him being in bed with me and made me put him in the bassinet. I complied, and when she left, brought him back with him and any time she walked in after that I made it look like I was nursing.

DD2 - no issues with it. Not even by our Ped. She just smiled, and even did her newborn check while baby was sleeping in my arms on the boppy. She was a c/s, so the boppy worked great for providing relief from her sitting on cut open belly. There were times I had her asleep and laying at the foot of my bed, with my legs crossed.


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## Lilcrunchie (Jun 16, 2004)

DS was born in a hospital with midwives, and we had no problems w/ bedsharing. We roomed in, and they mostly left us alone other than 1000 temperature and blood pressure checks that were annoying and IMO unnecessary









One nurse said something like" oh, good, you have the bedrails up with him in there with you" but that was really the only comment.

DD was born at a freestanding birth center so we were home 4 hours later. We all snuggled in the bed there together (DH and DS included) during the overnight hours but DD was the only one sleeping.


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## MsBlack (Apr 10, 2007)

After my csec, last baby of 6, I was told that if I was going to bedshare then all I could have for pain relief was extra strength tylenol. They seemed to think that would cure me of the bedsharing urge, but I said, OK! And that's what I took and it was enough. NO way I was putting my baby in that plastic box, and no way I wanted to be drugged if I could help it. Besides, ds nursed near-constantly the first 24hrs anyway. And quite a bit in the next 24, and I went home at 48hrs. On that second day they wanted me to have a shower, get up and move more (til then I'd only gone as far as the bath-chair to pee) and all that 'for my own good' which I'm sure is really true even though I didn't feel ready. Anyway, had a funny exchange with the nurse about ds--she offered to hold him for me while I showered. I gave her a stern look and said "But you're NOT going to do anything to him, right?" (I'd waived all usual newborn stuff, ds had only been separated from me for one hour of recovery post-surgery). She said "No, I PROMISE! I just want to cuddle him if you don't mind, really!" So I gave up my baby to her....she'd been so sweet to us the whole time, everyone was and I was lucky enough to be the only mom on the OB floor that week, small country hospital.


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## buttercups.nest (Jul 2, 2009)

When I had my daughter she spent a lot of time in her bassinet. That was 2 years ago. I just had my son 2months ago and things went a lot differently







I knew a lot more, really wanted to breastfeed so knew about the importance of skin to skin.

I don't know how things would be different (or if they would be) but for the first hour of his life we did skin to skin. He didn't really leave my side while we were in the hospital. Each time I tried to put him down he would cry. I was lucky that my husband was able to stay with me, I don't know what I would've done otherwise for bathroom breaks!

The nurses didn't mention anything about me sleeping with him. After his first bath they mentioned his temp was down....and suggested doing skin to skin!!!







This made me happy! When my daughter's temp was off, they put her under the warmer









Good luck! (Oh btw, I'm in Canada, don't know if that makes a difference.)


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## Carter'sMummy (May 28, 2009)

i had cj for 24 hours on and off before he was admitted into the nicu for wet lung from my c-section but he was naked with me on my bare chest the whole time, when they came in to change his bum (i was still hooked on the bed) they would swaddle and put him back in the bedside bassinet. I would then un wrap him and cuddle him back in, they didnt say anything, just do it! its your baby


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## coldandsleepy (Aug 5, 2008)

We bedshared in the hospital. The place where we had the baby actually encourages that sort of thing.


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## texaspeach (Jun 19, 2005)

no one said anything. I had a c/s so someone (dh or my mil) had to be with me at all times but none of the hospital staff said anything about ds being in bed with me. the first night/immediately after the birth when we moved to the pp room a nurse came by and said I should keep ds on my chest skin to skin to help him stay warm. I don't think she intended us to sleep that way...


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## mountainborn (Sep 27, 2006)

Ds was born in a hospital with midwives, luckily the one I wanted was there and the birth was great...but the pp nurses were ridiculous! I picked "bedshared in spite of disapproval" but bedshared on the sly might have been more accurate. Even if we were wide awake holding the baby when the nurse came in she would glance first at the plastic salad bin...once she actually gasped, "Where is the baby!?" Umm...we are holding him...isn't that what new parents do? I think one nurse noticed me resting with him next to me in the bed (with a tight roll of blanket blocking the holes in the bed railing) and gave me a little lecture, but I just let it roll off. We hadn't even really planned to co-sleep, it just seemed right from the very first night.


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## Dahlea (May 15, 2008)

We did, and had them tell us a couple times not to, but we did anyway.


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## fireHC11 (Nov 21, 2009)

Bed-sharing was encouraged in my hospital (though a bassinet was provided). The bed was a full-sized bed so even DH could sleep with us.


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## Mandynee22 (Nov 20, 2006)

I was told not to because of liability (like the baby falling out anf three feet to the floor). I did nurse and whatever lying down but I don't think I actually slept with DS.
However, when he was hospitalized for pnuemonia at 2 yo I did cosleep with him. The removed the crib that was in the room and put in a regular hospital bed with sides and set the O2 tent up around both of us.

ETA- DS barely nursed at all for the first 24 hours. If he had nursed more then I might have actually done it


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## s_kristina (Aug 9, 2004)

With dd I didn't really think about it for the most part, but she was in my bed at times with no fuss from the nurses in Lafayette, LA. With both my boys bed sharing was encouraged by the nurses in the hospital. They were both born at Cape Canaveral hospital which is certified baby friendly. When ds1 had to spend a night there at a month old the nurses suggested that I sleep with him to make things go easier for both of us.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I did with DD1, and nobody seemed to care, although once I was soundly asleep, somebody would always sneak in and move her to the bassinet. I used to wake up all in a panic because I didn't know where she was. But I guess they meant well, and nobody said a word to me.

But with the twins, we had major conflicts over this. What we wanted to do was for me to sleep with one twin, and DH on the cot with the other, and then switch every hour or two, so that each one got plenty of nursing time all day and night. We had this one nurse who got all in a flap about it, and brought in six or so of her colleagues to read me the riot act about it and make threats-- they were going to take the babies and put them in the nursery if I insisted on sleeping with them. So I'd listen politely and put them in the bassinet, and then move them again once they left the room. This went on for that whole nurse shift, and then after that we were the pariahs of the labor and delivery ward. The rest of the nurses left us alone, maybe TOO much, and it was obvious we'd acquired a reputation.

Luckily the midwife attached to my OB practice was supportive, and she got in between the nurses and our family, to shield us from some of the crap.

In both cases I had a c-section, but I declined any meds past the first 18 hours, because I wanted to be maximally alert for the babies, because I'm allergic to several of the common post-op meds, and because I hate being groggy.

I just couldn't understand how anybody expected me to nurse at least 12 times in 24 hours, each baby, one baby at a time-- the ped's recommendation, because of the twins' low birth weight and jaundice-- and still get enough sleep to recover from a section, if I wasn't allowed to sleep with them. Seems to me it was all a scam to get me to give in and allow them to feed the babies bottles.

Same hospital both times. One of the reasons I would never recommend that place.


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## elanorh (Feb 1, 2006)

With dd1, we didn't think we would cosleep, so I didn't try.

With dd2, I didn't think they'd let me, but I couldn't bear to have her in the bassinet and not against me. One of the nurses asked me, "Do you want her to sleep with you?" And then she rolled up their hospital receiving blankets to make a tight firm barrier against the rails of the bed, and I was able to have SJ sleep in the crook of my arm. It was lovely. I was only there the one night, so I don't know if other nurses would have been as supportive ....

ETA: I think if I'd had trouble, my OB would have had my back. When I was pregnant with dd2, he asked me where this baby would be sleeping, with dh and me or elsewhere. I said, "With us!" and he said, "Good, I think that's best."


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've had four. Bedsharing didn't come up with ds1, because he was only in my room at all the last night. I was in really rough shape after the c-section (partly from exhaustion, partly from surgery - mostly from the anesthetic, sleeping pill and 4+ days with no solid food), and couldn't care for him properly. At that time, our hospital didn't allow the spouse to stay the night.

I didn't bedshare at the hospital with dd1 or ds2, but dh was there with dd1, and handed her to me at the smallest sound. With ds2, I had to manage on my own, so he partly bedshared (ie. get up, bring him into bed, and then take a long time to put him back).

I bedshared with dd2. The nurses helped me get her into a good position (getting on my side was hard, so we had her propped with pillows - still hospital ones - so that she could just roll over and latch). During the night, the nurse would come in _very_ quietly and check on us with a flashlight, then go away. That was a welcome change of pace.

It really varies from one time, place and person to another, I think.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I haven't read the rest of the replies, but I was able to bedshare without any flak from the staff. I'm not even sure they noticed. And I was in the hospital for 5 days after a c-section.


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

I was too drugged and exhausted from 28 hours of back labor + emergency c-section. DH stayed awake, holding her while I slept. She was airlifted to a hospital with a NICU 24 hours after her birth so we didn't have a chance, then hooked up to machines in the NICU for 3 weeks.

Two lessons:
1) Birth experiences matter, but _they aren't everything_, so don't worry if it doesn't go as planned;
2) Life does not follow your plans!

Aside from those first 3 weeks, DD has never spent an evening/night away from me, so overall I consider us very lucky.


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## Serenyd (Jan 6, 2008)

Did not co-sleep in hospital w/ Ds1, but did when he was admitted @ 3 weeks w/ pneumonia, IV and all!


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

My older two girls were born in the hospital and I bedshared with both of them with no problems. Actually after dd1 was born (after a long labor and transport) I was so tired I asked to put her in the bassinet but they said no, she'd have to be taken to the nursery if I wasn't going to hold her. So I gave her to dh to hold.


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## triscuitsmom (Jan 11, 2007)

I voted that I bedshared without any problems with the staff...

In reality it was my Mom that was the issue the first night. She is a nurse (though not in a hospital) and she was with me overnight. She had issues with cosleeping so I ended up just not sleeping pretty much. He was on me all night and I left early as I could the next morning. The hospital pretty much didn't say anything to midwifery clients and just let the midwives "deal with them"







My midwife though cosleeping was a fabulous idea









With DS#2 I birthed in a hospital that is NOT cosleeping friendly. As in they made me sign a waiver when I was there with him at two months old for breathing issues. However DP was with me and he was sleeping either on me or on DP all night. Noone said anything, but then all they really said to me was "Oh, you're the one still nursing her older child..." and when I'd agree that yes I was they basically left since they figured that meant I didn't need anything (which was fine with me







).

Both boys were vaginal births. With DS1 I had an epidural which had worn off by the time I was back to my room pretty much. Plus gravol (which actually hit me harder then the pain stuff) which made me sleepy but wore off before bed time. With DS2 I had nothing for pain at all and no gravol. I did have a PPH though with DS2 that was quite severe a few hours after the birth and that is why DP had him for part of that night. I needed to regain some strength and I made sure if I had him and fell asleep that DP didn't fall asleep so that he was being watched (I was fine with DP sleeping with him while I slept... it wasn't a long labour so he was well rested coming in and he'd had no blood loss







)


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## turnquia (May 26, 2008)

With both my kids the hospital had a no co-sleeping policy, you had to sign it saying you wouldn't cosleep. I just didn't sign it. And when the nurse gave me crap I'd pretend to listen and ignore her.

When my son was hospitalized when he was 8 months old (for nasty ear infection and RSV). I co-slept with him. They required an oxygen monitor be on him, they said nothing about it except the o2 monitor which he should have had on anyways since he had breathing issues. The nurse was so cute. His oxygen dropped once at night and she came in and was paranoid that i'd be sleeping on him... instead it was from him awake and trying to nurse.

I was hospitalized once when DS was 3 months old and they never said anything about him cosleeping lol I was on a heart monitor and every time he'd nurse I always had people come running in thinking I was having some heart issue because he would play with the monitor. We eventually just took it off when I was nursing or pumping.

With child number 3 hopefully we will have our homebirth and it won't matter


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## nikirj (Oct 1, 2002)

My first two were born in different hospitals; the policy at both was that if you were asleep your baby wasn't supposed to be in the bed with you. Since they woke me up every time they came into the room, they never saw me asleep with a baby, so it wasn't an issue.


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## celestialdreamer (Nov 18, 2004)

I had a c/s with my 3rd instead of our planned homebirth and was really upset to find out that they do not "allow" cosleeping at all in the hospital. DS was literally nursing every hour and then falling asleep on me, so I kept falling asleep with him on me. The nurses would come in and insist that the baby had to go back in his plastic box







This is one of the reasons we left the day after he was born, despite me having had a c/s.


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## Materfamilias (Feb 22, 2008)

My experience was sort of in between I bedshared with/without approval, so I marked with. The staff never said anything about dd sleeping with me but they did mention the dangers of cosleeping, gave brochures against it, etc but it was always intimated that one shouldn't do it once at home. It's like they didn't see us cosleeping in the hospital. This was the same hospital with the LC who cautioned against bfing the baby on demand, though, so I just did my own thing.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

dd1- small local rural hospital, unplanned c/s. The hospital staff was ok with my sleeping with her in the bed but I really wasn't comfortable doing it the first few days. So she slept on my when I was awake and then DH held her while I slept.

dd2- same small local rural hospital, this time a vbac! We coslept without issue during our stay. DH couldn't stay since he was spending nights at home with our dd1, so dd2 did spend some time in her "cradle" while I showered and did stuff like that. (the nursing staff was great though and if a nurse was available they'd stay in the room to hold the baby while mama took a shower or ate a meal.

ds- larger regional hospital, again a vbac. They didn't say anything when I slept with ds in arms. No one seemed surprised, but no one mentioned it. I was there over a weekend though and the staff coming on Monday morning (as I checked out) seemed a bit less open to "alternative" ideas so they may have been unhappy with cosleeping.


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## Rejoicing (Nov 6, 2009)

It was NOT allowed in both of the hospitals I delivered in. In fact, one time I was threatened that they weren't going to leave him in the room anymore!!!







Anytime I fell asleep with my babies they moved them and then lectured me about how dangerous it was!!! grrr...


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

I voted other. I didn't try to bedshare in the hospital. But I ended up falling asleep while nursing anyway. Nobody said anything negative about it. I didn't try to bedshare at home until Dd1 was around a week old and I realized I wasn't going to get any sleep any other way.

Dd2 was born at home and slept with us right away.


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

Bedshared in the hospital with my first.

At one point the nurse needed to tell me something but the babe and I were both sleeping. So she wrote a note and put it on the kiddo so she knew I'd find it.


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## mango*mama (May 4, 2007)

I was not supposed to co-sleep. But the typical hospital bed was in my opinion quite unsafe for co-sleeping -- very possible for the baby to slip through the sides. I held/nursed the baby a great deal, and barely slept as the hospital was very loud and it was always possible to wake up before the nurse came in.


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## MerelyGod (Apr 5, 2005)

My three were all born in different hospitals. With DD1 they discouraged it, and even took her to the nursery a few times while I was sleeping.

With DD2 they said "oh, we have to leave the bassinet in here in case you don't want the baby in bed with you."

With DD3 they said I had to leave a light on while she was sleeping with me. I never figured that one out, but whatever.


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## Bea (Apr 6, 2008)

I voted other because it wasn't a case of "bedsharing without any trouble from the staff", they actively encouraged it.

This was a huge, mainstream medical center but they seemed very big on breastfeeding and co sleeping.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

No problem bedsharing at all. Only comment was from a nurse who reminded me to put the bed rail up.


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## FrmrsDhtr (Apr 14, 2008)

I had heard about women being scorned about co-sleeping in the hospital so I was nervous when I had dd in bed with me when the nurse came in to check on us. She actually praised me for having the baby in bed with me. I delivered at the same hospital with all three of my children and was impressed at how easy going they were about stuff.


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## graceomalley (Dec 8, 2006)

I bedshared without any problems (because the midwives were very vocal in their support of it). In fact, I fell asleep while one of them was giving me a break (baby had been screaming constantly for 3 days) and when I woke up he was in bed asleep with me. They'd tiptoed in and tucked him in next to me.


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

I didn't read the responses.
Huge cosleeping proponent, but I do have serious safety concerns w/ hospital cosleeping.
I bedshared with both w/o any trouble, but honestly, I didn't feel it was very safe. Such a tiny bed, with the railings, etc. It was very hard to be comfortable and feel safe. Even with my 2nd birth in a more friendly hospital and with more experience, it felt awkward.
With my 1st he mostly stayed in the bassinette thingie, because I felt unfamiliar with babies and unsafe with the situation. There were times that we dosed while nursing. He also did spend time in the nursery because my midwife convinced me I needed my rest and would be best- and the whole hospital stay ways horrid- so I was just an exhausted emotional mess. In the end, the best thing would have been to have gotten the he() out of there and gone home.
I remember panicking that I would drop him because I kept falling asleep with him on my chest. There were not enough pillows to keep my arms around him safely and I was afraid my arm would go down and he would roll off into the arm of the bed or worse, onto the floor etc. I actually walked crying out to the nurses station in the middle of the night (after I had gotten him to sleep) and made them take him back to the nursery. It makes me sick now to think of the time he spent in the nursery-- although they were very responsive about bringing him to me (thankfully). I only wish they had recognizes how distraught I was and helped me feel better.
Now, I had not planned on cosleeping and had just started learning more about it-- so I knew enough to know it would be wonderful, but also enough to know that safe cosleeping required some thought/planning and my assessment of the hospital bed safety was that it was just really not very safe.

At the 2nd hospital w/ dd they were extremely concened when parents were not rooming in and strongly encouraged it. I also witnessed their concern because I was chatting to one and they got all concerned when a mom was walking with dh and baby down to the nursery, they were so releived and happy that it was so dh could help her take her first shower and not because they wanted them to take the baby. It was actually really neat to talk to them about the changes they have made and how they are happy to have an 'empty' nursery, because that means the babies are with mom.

With my dd, I was more confident and wasn't worried about my body-- but the hospital bed was still a challenge. I almost considered plopping the matress on the floor, but there was not enough room to do that and I'm sure that would have given the nurses somethign to talk about. I think I tried to put her in the bassinette and dangle my arm in there, but I've never done really well at actually sleeping unless little one is NEXT to me, so I gave up on that and just had her next to me and slept very little.

If you are not an experienced cosleeper, I would prepare by familiarizing yourself with some general safety information and then think about how that might apply to a hospital bed. I do think I asked for an extra pillow (to help me position my body)and had bought one of my pillows that I always travel with that makes me feel more comfortable when there is an 'edge' involved. And rolled up towels around the arm rest of the bed.

In hotel rooms or visiting family, I usually move a matress onto the floor, roll up towels for the edges, or bring my pillows, all with serve to make me feel the bed is safer... Although with an infant, they rarely (prob only if napping and I left the bed) left the space between my side and my arm around them, making much of my preparation unnecessary (-;

Jessica


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## LiLStar (Jul 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *graceomalley* 
I bedshared without any problems (because the midwives were very vocal in their support of it). In fact, I fell asleep while one of them was giving me a break (baby had been screaming constantly for 3 days) and when I woke up he was in bed asleep with me. They'd tiptoed in and tucked him in next to me.

Awwww!!!!


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## limette (Feb 25, 2008)

Both times it was no problem and both times I was the only one in the room (of 3 others) breastfeeding/co-sleeping. The nurses were really happy that I was doing so.


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## mediumcrunch (Dec 10, 2009)

8 babies in 8 different hospitals around the country. Last baby was in the NICU but his final day in the hospital he stayed with me in a room and co-slept with knowledge and blessing of the neonatalogist. I didn't try with #1 and #2 as I wasn't at that point in my mothering.

Out of #3-#7 I've had one nurse, in one facility give me a hard time. More than once it has actually been encouraged, I've even had staff (usually LC's) do what they could to help make it easier for me-better pillows, folded sheets to plug the holes in the rails etc...


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## MissyLissa (Feb 18, 2008)

I got grief about it at the hospital that encouraged skin to skin and did couplet care (baby never had to leave my room for anything), but no one batted an eye about it at the hospital that had a mandatory 2 hour nursery screening after birth and told me that putting the baby under lights was better than skin to skin for bringing the babies temperature up. I picked her up and nursed her under the light until they would let me take her back to my room.


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## notjustmamie (Mar 7, 2007)

I chose "other."

With DD, I hadn't really considered co-sleeping yet. She stayed in her bassinet next to my bed all night.

With DS, I was in no shape to co-sleep. The first night I was just out of surgery, then the next several nights I was on narcotic pain killers, so I didn't figure it was very wise. After one too many nights without sleep, DH slept with him, though (I think that was our last two nights in the hospital). We didn't get any grief about that.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

From the start DS only slept well on my chest (he's 8 months and STILL sleeps best when he's next to mama) and so that's what we did. The staff never said a word. The day nurse even checked his temp with him on top of me (armpit check)


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

I had no prob bedsharing with DD in the hospital


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## Engineering_Mama (Jun 24, 2008)

I voted "without any trouble from staff" since no one said anything. I did get couple of dirty looks which I ignored. I was a homebirth transfer though, so I think the nurses knew I wasn't going to do things the "normal" way.


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## coastielu (Sep 15, 2009)

I kept baby with me. The nurse came in and explained that "hospital policy us to recomend baby stays in the bassinet. but..." and then they left us alone about it. I had a drug free/ short labor though. If I were recovering from a long, terrible or heavily medicated experience, I might have chosen differently.

I think attitudes vary hugely- depends a lot on where in the country you are, and the individual hospital. I was lucky enough to give birth in a new hospital and very baby friendly town.


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