# Have I mentioned that I hate Supernanny?!?!?!?!



## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

People on this board are often mentioning how relatives or friends bring up Nanny 911 and Supernanny as arguements to critisize their parenting, but I never had it happen till yesterday.










Grrrrr........

I HATE THOSE FREAKING SHOWS!!!!!!!

I don't want to get in a long rant about how much I hate reality tv and family-discipline-oriented reality tv in particular but - AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Why do people always beleive what they see on TV? Why do people take these stupid shows a gospel? How is something meant as "entertainment" OK to use in an arguement over parenting styles?

I love TV myself- but I know that it's MAKE BELEIVE!!!!!

Anyway- It was my MIL getting on my case for my dd not sleeping in her own room, and I raised my voice and told her I was the mommy and I call the shots and that I didn't have any interest in hearing about what was on Nanny 911.

I think she was pretty upset, but I'm too pregnant to to deal with people's pushy @$$ opinions, and I kinda don't care if I hurt her feelings.

Hmmmm. I'm visiting my own family soon and I wonder if I should lay down some ground rules about what I don't want to hear about before I jump down anyone's throat there.

Anyway- much love to all you momma's trying to do it your way. It's not an easy thing.

(And love to you pregnant mommas like me alternating between crying and shouting at people who try to tell you how it is.)


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Huh, I had heard so many good things about Nanny 911 on MDC I was going to TiVo it tonight.






















Just kidding!























America seems to have this obsession with "butt-kick"-style solutions to our problems. I mean look at these shows and what is popular - Nanny shows where the nanny comes in and tells you all to straighten up and fly right and stop being so soft and be tough on the kids, etc. Dr. Phil is the same way! Ok, granted I don't watch these shows but I'm basing this on what I have seen of them.

No wonder as a country we think the solution to world politics is to go out and invade other countries and force them to be like us, etc. I mean - its UN 911 or something. It seems in direct contrast with the values people claim to be embracing and kids are supposedly learning from these lessons.

Sorry for derailing your rant, feel free to continue!


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo*

America seems to have this obsession with "butt-kick"-style solutions to our problems. I mean look at these shows and what is popular - Nanny shows where the nanny comes in and tells you all to straighten up and fly right and stop being so soft and be tough on the kids, etc. Dr. Phil is the same way! Ok, granted I don't watch these shows but I'm basing this on what I have seen of them.

No wonder as a country we think the solution to world politics is to go out and invade other countries and force them to be like us, etc. I mean - its UN 911 or something. It seems in direct contrast with the values people claim to be embracing and kids are supposedly learning from these lessons.

Sorry for derailing your rant, feel free to continue!

This is a wide open rant! All comers are welcome!

Your thoughts are interesting because I often wonder why American's are so drawn to these shows. Except of course that they are simple and involved making people cry.

Personally, I think that having an emotional breakdown on TV for others' entertainment is about as degrading as having sex that is filmed and watched by others. (So I guess that makes these shows akin to kiddie porn in my mind.) Something so intimate should not be on display like that. But heck, that;'s just me.

For me the discipline style is not even what I hate so much as the commodification of pain. The only thing worse is those shows where drill sargents yell in kid's faces. I mean why don't we just go back to public beheadings?

So anyway- when people bring this up as the "childrearing standard" I kinda want to vomit.


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyofshmoo*
Anyway- It was my MIL getting on my case for my dd not sleeping in her own room, and I raised my voice and told her I was the mommy and I call the shots and that I didn't have any interest in hearing about what was on Nanny 911.

I think she was pretty upset...

Of course this is totally hilarious because you set a firm limit with your MIL and now she's _upset_. Heh.


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain optimism*
Of course this is totally hilarious because you set a firm limit with your MIL and now she's _upset_. Heh.

Funny but true. I went all Dr. Phil and stood up for myself. I guess I did follow her advice after all. Ha.


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## Kleine Hexe (Dec 2, 2001)

K, I'm going to be devil's advocate and ask why the super hatred for the shows? I've seen a few (maybe four shows) and it's not all bad. I've seen children doing some things that were really dangerous and hurtful and the parents doing nothing or lashing out in a mean way (like one mom putting hot sauce on her daughter's tongue). One time a nine yr girl sat on top of her three yr brother and smothered his face with a pillow until he almost passed out (ok, I was asking myself why the heck they were taping that and not stopping it but...). When the little boy went to his mom crying she told him to stop being a cry baby.







The nanny got the mom to turn around and actually offer the child affection and validate that he was hurt. So far I have not seen anything that has offended or upset me about the "tactics" or "rules" the nanny has set up.

What am I missing? Was there a show where they smacked a kid or CIO?


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## captain optimism (Jan 2, 2003)

I haven't seen the shows in question. I think the problem is that the nannies have a certain idea of what is appropriate behavior for a child of a certain age. People in our families who think we shouldn't be co-sleeping or nursing past infancy see these shows and come on very strong. "Look, it says on TEEVEE that you are doing this all wrong, see I knew I was right." The fact that the nanny you saw was actually respectful of parents and children (which was what the New Yorker TV reviewer also said) is beside the point.

I think the point is to be firm with our friends and relatives that we are parenting in a way that we like. We aren't being "walked all over" by the children, we _choose_ to parent this way. AND NOT ONLY THAT! We don't make our parenting decisions based on the friggin' television!










(My mom would NEVER dare to say anything to me about Super Nanny and my MIL doesn't watch TV either, but I am incensed on your behalf, Mommyofshmoo.)


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## oldcrunchymom (Jun 26, 2002)

I actually think Nanny 911 is okay most of the time (I know there was one bad recent episode, but I missed it). With the kids this past week not sleeping in their beds... well, for starters it was QUADRUPLETS plus one more just a year older. Second, their parents installed TVs in the kids rooms and the kids were totally dependent on the TVs to get to sleep. Third, the kids would wander all over the house in the middle of the night switching TVs and even kick their parents out of bed to the couch. It wasn't some harmonious family bed situation that the Nanny was coming in and disrupting. I'm all for GD and family bed (my kids still sleep with me most of the time and they're 9 and 7), but if I had all those 6 year olds trying to kick me out of bed in the middle of the night, you can bet I'd make a stricter bedtime ritual.

And this mom was the one using the hot sauce.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kleine Hexe*
What am I missing? Was there a show where they smacked a kid or CIO?

I haven't seen but half of one show, so I guess I really should shut up, eh?







: The one I saw, the child was very clingy to his mother and the part I saw had the nanny berating the mother for not basically putting him to bed and walking away (so yes CIO of sorts, but this was an older child, like 4 maybe). In that case the nanny totally could not have cared about addressing the child's needs and why the child was behaving this way, the solution was all about how the Mom had to stop giving in to him and toughen up, etc. What bothered me the most about it was I didn't get the impression the Mom felt satisfied with the solution - the Nanny had just berated and guilted her into it - if she didn't she was a 'bad parent' so she went along with it - she clearly didn't think it was the right thing. Obviously the families that are on these shows definitely need to improve upon something - they wouldn't be on if things weren't going wrong and someone wasn't unhappy. It just seems to be a very bullheaded approach to parenting.

Mostly though I'm reacting to what I have read others have said about the shows especially ones that made negative statements about cosleeping.


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## Leatherette (Mar 4, 2003)

Some of the stuff the nannies do is okay, especially when you are walking into an out-of-control situation like the ones on the shows. They do seem to have "their way", which does not leave much opening for individual personalities and preferences. But I do like that they are not advocating hot pepper in kids' mouths







.

I have only seen the one show that was on last night, so I don't have too much experience, but I am sure that the real point of the show is to make the parents look like weak (or mean) idiots and the nannies look all-knowing and all-powerful. TV is all about the good guys and the bad guys, not the real guys.

Sorry your MIL used that as springboard to criticize your parenting. Ick. I could so easily see my mother doing that. She is always into the pseudopsychology of the moment - "Dr". Laura, Dr. Phil, etc. My mother-in-law thinks the co-sleeping is wierd, but she doesn't say anything about it (she just has no poker-face).

If you can remind your family ahead of time about your non-negotiable parenting choices, that would be great. Could save you some headaches.

L.


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## Leddie (Nov 22, 2002)

ok, I've watched a couple of episodes of these nanny shows and was not too impressed....but my parents happened to catch some episodes too and it has only helped them. They saw an episode where the nanny was telling the parents to listen to the kids and help them to express their feelings using words instead of screaming and such. My parents responded to me after that with a 'wow, you've always tried to do that'. Also there was a recent episode where a nanny (again, not sure which show) was telling a parent they could not spank or she would leave, which was had a really big impact on my parents (who spanked their children). I don't know why they couldn't just do reading on their own and/or listen to me but for some reason, it had to be TV which impacted them. Now if only the stinkin' nanny shows would do an episode of EBF, Co-sleeping, no tv, and no Circ, I'd be set (at least with my tv-happy parents)


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Leatherette*

I have only seen the one show that was on last night, so I don't have too much experience, but I am sure that the real point of the show is to make the parents look like weak (or mean) idiots and the nannies look all-knowing and all-powerful. TV is all about the good guys and the bad guys, not the real guys.

Exactly!

I agree with all the posters who point out that not everything the nannies do or advise is bad. I've said before- the parenting they advise is better than what like 75% of parents do. The nannies are no "Alfie Kohn", but no, they are not terrible.

But the show is not "educational TV", it's not on PBS. It is ENTERTAINMENT. They do whatever they can to make the kids and parents seem as horrible as possible, the nanny criticisizes the parents very harshly, they make it look like the nanny has all the answers, etc.

(Those of us here with kids know- no one has all the answers, there are no overnight solutions.)

The other thing is that often the nanny steps in and is "firm" with the kid and the kid starts acting better or parent. The thing is that these people are being berated on tv by a stranger, of course they do what she says, they are terrified. Kids act very different when there are no cameras and it's just them and the parents.

Finally- I do diasagree strongly on some of their stances on co-sleeping and "baby type things" that they claim shouldn't be done past babyhood. There was an episode of Nanny 911 where a three year old wanted a bottle (she normally drank from a glass.) IMO she was regressing a bit in resongse to the strain of having her life messed with by a total stranger in her house and cameras in her face. The nanny got all over the mother saying "If you treat her like a baby, she'll act like a baby. No bottles." I mean the poor kid is trying to self soothe, cut her some slack.


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain optimism*
People in our families who think we shouldn't be co-sleeping or nursing past infancy see these shows and come on very strong. "Look, it says on TEEVEE that you are doing this all wrong, see I knew I was right." The fact that the nanny you saw was actually respectful of parents and children (which was what the New Yorker TV reviewer also said) is beside the point.


Yep.


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Leddie*
ok, I've watched a couple of episodes of these nanny shows and was not too impressed....but my parents happened to catch some episodes too and it has only helped them. They saw an episode where the nanny was telling the parents to listen to the kids and help them to express their feelings using words instead of screaming and such. My parents responded to me after that with a 'wow, you've always tried to do that'. Also there was a recent episode where a nanny (again, not sure which show) was telling a parent they could not spank or she would leave, which was had a really big impact on my parents (who spanked their children). I don't know why they couldn't just do reading on their own and/or listen to me but for some reason, it had to be TV which impacted them. Now if only the stinkin' nanny shows would do an episode of EBF, Co-sleeping, no tv, and no Circ, I'd be set (at least with my tv-happy parents)

I can see your point. I know that when I first saw the show I was suprised with how GD it was. So there;s stuff to agree with and stuff to disagree with.

The thing is I get irked that somehow Nanny911 and Supernanny are becomming the "Dr. Spock" of the day. Which is bad enough- but these shows aren't even based on "fact", they are meant to entertain.

It freaks me out that suddenly there's only one "right" way to parent, and it's based on reality television.


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## ChasingPeace (Oct 19, 2003)

These shows don't make me that upset, even when I disagree with some of the stuff in them. I do think Nanny 911 is better than (not so)SuperNanny. Admittedly, I don't watch them often, but I did watch Nanny 911 Monday, and was impressed that the nanny was appalled by the lack of respect (her words) the mother was showing the children when she used hot sauce on them or washed their mouths with soap. She encouraged the mom and dad to see what was motivating the inappropriate behavior, and to praise the children for expressing their feelings with words. All good things, in my opinion.


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## liseux (Jul 3, 2004)

I disagree with both nannies and their anti-cosleeping positions. Humans wouldn`t have made it this far without cosleeping & nursing IMO.

But, I love the fact that they are essentially promoting gentle discipline to mainstream America. No spanking, no screaming & they teach respect on both sides. One mom grabbed her son`s face to talk to him and Supernanny went off on her. It could be worse for a show like this.


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## LunaMom (Aug 8, 2002)

Yep, I agree with liseux for the most part. While I don't like the way they treat certain issues on these shows, I do think that it's good that "mainstream TV" is showing all those mainstream parents that it really is wrong to yell at your kids and spank them and demean them. Because wayyyy too many people treat their kids in those disrespectful ways.

And yes, we do have to remind people that these shows are for entertainment purposes and that the footage is edited to make the kids lok as awful as possible, the parents look as incompetent as possible, and the nanny look as successful as possible!

I think some people do these shows for the free trip and have no interest in the discipline.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Leddie*
Now if only the stinkin' nanny shows would do an episode of EBF, Co-sleeping, no tv, and no Circ, I'd be set (at least with my tv-happy parents)

This gives me an idea - those reality tv shows are (relatively) cheap to produce. We should start a fund for an alternative nanny show!


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## rgarlough (Jul 18, 2002)

I can only stand to watch Nanny Deb on Nanny 911







She's the most 'reasonable' one in my opinion. That said, I've watched a total of 3 episodes of Nanny 911 and only 2 of those had Nanny Deb...

The 2 with her that I enjoyed were mainly because she addresses the PARENTS issues, not so much the kids 'problems'







The kids are just a reflection of the parents issues especially breakdowns in communication and respect issues. If the parents had a halfway decent relationship going on, perhaps, their kids wouldn't be 'so out of control' IMHO.

I've actually learned a number of things since watching especially when I look back on my childhood. My parents had terrible communication problems and I can see that is one of the reasons why my brother and I were constantly fighting







We were just acting out the negativity between my parents in a physical way. My folks constantly bicker at each other which would escalate into loud arguements with my father leaving for X period of time... Not a healthy environment nor a good example of how a loving couple should be.

There isn't any actual respect for each other in my parents house either... leading to my brother's totally lack of respect for any authority figures. Just a huge timebomb waiting to go off... He's almost 25









I wish I could 'screen' the episodes better since dh and I watch them together and talk about what is going on and why certain things aren't working. It helps us talk about our own relationship and that's a good thing


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

Pull the plug.

Don't watch television and none of this will bother you because you won't know what people are talking about and you will be able to focus on other things.









Most people at work are busy yammering about the Apprentice and some show about housewives. What a waste of time.

I think family members trying to give you childrearing advice based on a television show is totally ridiculous, my eyes would glaze over and I would try to ignore it. I feel for you, that would drive me CRAZY.

I would just assure them that you don't take advice from televised entertainment programs, that would be akin to taking relationship advice from "Doctor" Phil or Oprah.

Hang in there Momma!


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Trinitty*
Pull the plug.

Don't watch television and none of this will bother you because you won't know what people are talking about and you will be able to focus on other things.









Most people at work are busy yammering about the Apprentice and some show about housewives. What a waste of time.

I think family members trying to give you childrearing advice based on a television show is totally ridiculous, my eyes would glaze over and I would try to ignore it. I feel for you, that would drive me CRAZY.

I would just assure them that you don't take advice from televised entertainment programs, that would be akin to taking relationship advice from "Doctor" Phil or Oprah.

Hang in there Momma!

A good point. I've only actually ever seen 1/2 an episode of Nanny 911 and a few trailers, so I'm not an afficionado. More I hate them because people go around quoting the nanny's advice as "fact."

I watch 2 tv shows, both fictional. My dh watches history and nature shows. Oh, and we watch the Daily Show- our only source of news.









So we don't watch much- though it would be nice if we watched less.

However I don't thank that would make me any less annoyed at my MIL giving me parenting advice and citing nanny 911.

The thing is that my MIL does not know when to back off. She CANNOT take a hint. My family says annoying stuff all the time, but they know when they are pushing it and back off. My MIL goes on and on, then I have to feel guilty because I got "short" with her.

(rant) She started discussing sleeping arrangements and I got testy. Then she started in on nanny 911 and I said "Please don't talk to me about that show, I don't want to hear about it." I'm pointing while saying this. You have to know that if a person is pointing, shouting can't be far behind.

So then she keeps talking. What else am I supposed to do but yell at her? How much does it take to get someone to stop talking to you about something you don't want to hear about?

(I say this because I discussed this with dh and he asked me to try to be nicer. So I told him that she had just about made me cry by the time I raised my voice. Ugh. She's not an easy person to deal with.)

Oh well, MILs are fun!


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Regardless of whether these shows teach "good" or "bad" parenting, I have a terrible problem with what participation in these shows must do to the kids involved. Imagine having your life totally taken over by a stranger and being filmed while you try to deal with it. I predict a whole raft of therapy bills and lawsuits in the future based on these shows. Seems to me that one of the tenets of GD is to avoid humiliating a child, especially in front of others. Yet how could these kids be anything but humiliated during the process and especially when the shows air? Can you imagine what these poor kids are going to face in high school if these things get aired again?

Mommyofshmoo -- what would you do if this was your child instead of your MIL? I've found that I can use the same GD techniques with relatives as I can with toddlers. In this case I think the natural consequence of ignoring a polite request to "cease and desist" is to be ignored and I would probably just say "This isn't open for debate" and literally walk away.


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evan&Anna's_Mom*

Mommyofshmoo -- what would you do if this was your child instead of your MIL? I've found that I can use the same GD techniques with relatives as I can with toddlers. In this case I think the natural consequence of ignoring a polite request to "cease and desist" is to be ignored and I would probably just say "This isn't open for debate" and literally walk away.

Y'know right after I wrote the above post, I asked myself this very same question and came up with the ver.y same answer. I ju'm notsure I can.

The thing is that with kids you know tat eventually they will grow out of some of their ridiculous behaviors. I don't imagine my mil becomming someone who can read other human beings any time soon.

I feela little bad for her. She does get yelled at a lot probably- she annoys a lot of people. I honestly don't think she knows what she's doing that causes this. Sad.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

I'm going to have to watch one of these shows, but my problem is that the "experts" on these shows do the thinking for the "parents", instead of helping the parents learn to find a solution that best suits their family.


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## abac (Mar 10, 2005)

I didn't read all the posts in this thread, but a similar situation was when my mother had been talking to a pregnant friend at her work, she told me that a book (I forget which one of the many) says you should NEVER let your baby fall asleep at the breast (which I do every night.) I replied, "There are many books and they all say something different. I decided to go with my heart so if I read something that doesn't agree with how I FEEL, I disregard it. I try to read the books I DO agree with." I told her I have no problem with my ds falling asleep nursing and actually feel it's good for him. She seemed to think about this, and then agreed with me.


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Breathless Wonder*
I'm going to have to watch one of these shows, but my problem is that the "experts" on these shows do the thinking for the "parents", instead of helping the parents learn to find a solution that best suits their family.

I'm struck by the irony here... Many of us choose GD because we don't want our children to behave simply out of fear, we want them to learn to think and make good decisions on their own. So here is a TV show that is pretty much "mainstreaming" the parents in that it is "scaring" them into being the parents that Supernanny or whoever wants, not teaching them to think things through on their own. Maybe that's why these shows bother us?


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

I agree. I personally think that using a "big stick" is helpful to very few people- child or adult.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

Mommyofshmoo, good for you for standing up to your MIL. You weren't out of out line, you are the mommy,and she needs to step down and let you do your job. If she is offended well that is her problem b/c she should not tell you how to raise your child.

As for Nanny 911, this may seem harsh, and I am NOT trying to judge anyone by saying this, but the very fact that America seems to have the need for shows like Nanny 911 is sort of disturbing to me. I mean, some of those kids are so out of control I can't help but wonder how the parent's let it go that far. I know every child is different, and I know that every discipline style is different, but come on! My kids NEVER behave like some of those children, and when I was young my siblings and I were taught to respect our parents from a very young age and we never behaved like that either. I don't always agree with the Nanny's advice, when kids are up at all hours of the night, hitting each other, talking back to their parents, what else can the parents do? Obviously they lack the skills as parents to control their own children or they wouldn't have broadcast their lives on national television.

I'm sorry if that offended anyone, and I didn't mean to. I am just saying that in the absence of some sort of developmental or behavioral disablility, I believe the parents are ultimately responsible for the way their children behave. Now I am not talking about toddlers who have occasional tantrums in the grocery store, schoolagers who occasionally mouth off, ext. I know that all children misbahave at some times, and all children go through rough periods. But the way some of the kids behave on Nanny 911 is just ridiculous. If they can't control their kids when they are that age, then what makes them think they can control them when they are bigger, mouthier teenagers? They can't exactly say "Oh my let's call Nanny so-and-so again/".
I think those parents need to take a long, hard look at themselves and their parenting styles. Gentle discipline is one thing, NO discipline is another.

Beth, fiance to a wonderful man







, mommy to Destiny, 4







,
and Deanna, 2


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

A friend I spoke to yesterday had some good advice.

She said that part of the problem is that my dd is my MIL's first grandchild. (She's the first on both sides, actually.)

Because fof this the mil does not yet know the ropes of being a grandparent. My friend said that her dd wasw the 8th- and her MIL knew to keep her mouth shut.

I should know this because I was the first grandchild on both sides as well. My 'rents ere extremely erratic because they were always trying to follow some random adice their parents gave or train me to do things that would impress their parents.

I know not to behave that way, so I discourage advice from the grandparents. However, I also forget that after the first few grandkids, they stop butting in so much.


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## JoyofBirth (Mar 16, 2004)

My mom apparently watches these shows. She told me recently that I should watch them. There's some good parenting advice on there. She said it's not like you have to follow all of it, but you can get some good ideas. Then she told me a story of a lady who needed to get her 2-yo out of her bed and how this mom was so co-dependant on her kids and I think it was the supernanny swooped in and helped her out. She said *Gasp*"This woman even had a bed side protector so her kids wouldn't fall out of her bed." I just rolled my eyes, said we thought of getting one of those but Emma's too little and could get stuck in it, but maybe when she's bigger. I told her they conflicted with shows we already watch, but maybe I'd look at sometime and I'd let her know what I think. I've only ever seen the supernanny on Oprah and that was enough.


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## tresleo (Mar 15, 2004)

I'd like to know what credentials SuperNanny has. And I wonder if the parents who let her into their homes and allow her to implement these techniques on their children find out what they (the credentials) are, other than the fact she is on tv.

I think I heard somewhere she's worked with over 100 families in the last 15 years. I wouldn't hire anyone with that work history...if that's true, of course.


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## EmmaJean (Sep 26, 2002)

OP, has your dh talked to him mom about this? Does this situation bother him? If this were me, I would make sure dh talked to his mom and let her know that he and I are a team, and we know her advice is coming from a "helpful" place from her, but it just causes tension w/ us. My MIL used to be really bad w/ giving advice and butting in, but has REALLY changed the past year or so. It's awesome!!! She has finally realized that her son in an adult and can make his own decisions and suffer his own consequences. I think it helps that Erik and his mom have a very open relationship and just "tell it like it is" anyway. She does offer friendly advice, and sometimes it's helpful, and sometimes it's not and I just let it slide. I like the PPs advice to just turn around and walk away or just stop talking, change the subject, etc. And there's always the baby for entertainment and distraction! I've realized that whenever she's hitting on a touchy subject I totally avoid eye contact, try to busy myself w/ something else, say "m-hmm" a lot, and try to tune it out. UNLESS it's a topic I think is worth arguing over. Usually it's not, but I totally understand how it's hard to let things slide esp. when it's about how you parent. It's SO personal! My mom is probably worse in this area than my MIL b/c my bro and sis are all about Ezzo and CIO, spanking, etc. She thinks the way they are doing things is so much better and sensical than she ever did... Maybe after living w/ her for 3m she'll respect my way a bit more (and hers too!)

Sorry this wasn't about the Supernanny! I love that show, even though I don't agree w/ everything she does or the way she does it. But I do love that it shows parents that you can discipline w/o spanking (or "smacking" as she says!).









Good luck!! Family issues are difficult, esp. mothers. BUT my MIL is proof that people really can change!!









Emily


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

Last night's Nanny 911 was pretty positive. The husband was a total jerk, never helping out, threatening the kids with spankings, and so on. The nanny had him spend a day with the kids on his own to help him have more empathy for what his wife goes through every day (with four kids and two dogs). She sent the wife to a spa.







At the end of the day, at his wits' end, he ended up spanking one of the kids and the nanny laid down the law and told him it had to stop, and to stop the threats of spanking, too. She also modeled using positive reinforcement rather than negative reinforcement. The main issue with this episode was that the parents were not getting along and the husband was showing no respect for the wife, and of course the kids were distressed and picking up on this and acting out. They spent the rest of the show working on the parents relationship and showing how it affected the kids. I think that this would have been a good show to see for a LOT of parents who think spanking is okay, because so many of them think that it is the only way to get their kids to behave. It may be a silly way to learn how to parent, but not everyone gets it, KWIM?


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