# Suffering after Missed Miscarriage and D&E



## Wilhelmina (Feb 28, 2011)

I learned my baby was no longer alive on thursday. Its heart has supposedly stopped beating already a week before that - at about 12 weeks and 2 or 3 days of pregnancy. I was in the 14th week of pregnancy when I found out (or what supposed to be my 14th week of pregnancy) and I was finally getting really excited about the pregnancy as I thought I just passed the hurdle of the first trimester and we were safe &#8230;

It was an absolute shock. I found out during an ultrasound and saw the little one with no heartbeat.

I had D&E yesterday.

I am so so depressed right now. I'm also angry and desperate and I want my baby back. I feel so empty and hollow and sometimes still can't believe it happened &#8230; I keep seeing that ultrasound in my head over and over and over &#8230; the baby not moving, just quietly laying there.

I have a healthy 3 year old at home - I'm only able to function because of her, really.

I am the point where I don't even know if I'll ever be able to try to get pregnant again. This was and still is such a shock that I can't even imagine going back to my life.

I tried to find out what happened - what caused the miscarriage and was told that there is no way to find out and that there is no extensive investigation unless it happens three times. I still can't wrap my brain around that, but I have no way to fight against that, so I just have to force myself to accept it. The doctor told me that most of the time and at this point in pregnancy, it's usually chromosomal.

Although, I have decided I will have my thyroid tested at least and do a full blood work up to see if there was anything off there.

I WANT THIS BABY!


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## Shiloh (Apr 15, 2005)

Get it all tested!
Don't take no for an answer.
Thyroid is good, but get your blood clotting tested too. Might have been a chromo issue but really that's more like "oh its better off this way" of an doctors excuse.
MC is traumatic. Do what you can to increase your chances of a rainbow


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## Birth Junky (Jun 14, 2004)

I'm so sorry, Wilhelmina. I know how you feel--I too had recurrent images of the still little form
on the ultrasound screen. Sending hugs.


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