# September 2012 Rockstar Mamas



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Welcome to the Rockstar Mamas thread! Our wonderful group of mamas started following each other in the Charting to Avoid thread over in fertility. Eventually we created "The Whatever Ladies!", a safe place for those of us who were not trying to prevent pregnancy, though not actively trying to conceive either. Spread out over a year, we all got pregnant and had our current babes- several whom are over a year old now!

We made the decision to switch to Rockstar Mamas, after a conversation about how each and every one of us was a Rockstar in some way, for living and thriving through the parenting challenges thrown our way every day. Feel free to join us in our thread, but be warned, the conversation moves fast!

Not really rules but something to consider if you join:

1. Need to be chatty

2. Know that we are all vastly different from one another but we've become friends so we respect those differences. We are vaxers and nonvaxers; homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers; run the gamut from vegan to paleo; some of us want more kids, some don't, and some aren't sure...but we all manage to really get along and come together on things we DO agree on.

3. Aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions or point out the obvious when/if we want advice!

Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/01) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012

akind1 going around again ~ due 3/6/2013 but betting on 3/11 or 3/19
(I'm guessing another girl because our group is short one girl and we were right on 50/50 alternating boy/girl.







)

August Thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1359569/august-2012-rockstar-mamas


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Thanks for the new thread!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

my mom said the ticket place at williamsburg has the same discounts as online so maybe not so much pressure to get something before we go. the only thing holding me back from getting the triangle tickets now is that i don't want to feel obligated to rush out somewhere every day. i need some down time. if i buy the tickets, i'll feel like i should go. what to do? what to do?

i've had a couple people ask me about knitting some woolies for them. exciting but i have no idea how much to charge. i looked on HC and saw that people are charging $0.15-0.20 per yard for YYMN. That comes to about $30-60 for a small-large longies. i don't want to undercut others but i don't know if anyone will pay me that much.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I neeeeeeeed the down time. The only activity I'm interested in doing is the stuff on Saturday and then I'm sitting on my butt (figuratively of course because Ava doesn't allow for that!) the rest of the time. Pool, playing, walking around the resort area. That's it. I need a break!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, I need down time, too. I just looked again and it's actually about $50 less if we buy single day tickets for each place rather than buying that package. So, we'll wait until we get there to get tickets to Jamestown and Yorktown if we decide to do that.

Sean has been making NC BBQ all day. It's almost ready and smells so good! I'm starving.

Anyone else going to a local Improving Birth rally tomorrow? I'm planning on going to the one here in Wilmington. Sean wrote my sign for me so all I have to do is color it in. I really need to get on that.


----------



## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Still getting the hang of forums+ tablet, but it's nice to see you all.  Not much going on here this weekend, we've all been sick.. I think we're over the worst of it, and the kids went to bed without meltdowns and they even had baths! The hubby and I have been watching Battlestar Galatica this weekend, ran out of free episodes on hulu though.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Thanks for the new thread! I can't believe it's September!!

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> my mom said the ticket place at williamsburg has the same discounts as online so maybe not so much pressure to get something before we go. the only thing holding me back from getting the triangle tickets now is that i don't want to feel obligated to rush out somewhere every day. i need some down time. if i buy the tickets, i'll feel like i should go. what to do? what to do?
> i've had a couple people ask me about knitting some woolies for them. exciting but i have no idea how much to charge. i looked on HC and saw that people are charging $0.15-0.20 per yard for YYMN. That comes to about $30-60 for a small-large longies. i don't want to undercut others but i don't know if anyone will pay me that much.


I think that's a fair price for wool.

I'm about to sell some diapers and am hoping I price fairly. It's so tricky!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I neeeeeeeed the down time. The only activity I'm interested in doing is the stuff on Saturday and then I'm sitting on my butt (figuratively of course because Ava doesn't allow for that!) the rest of the time. Pool, playing, walking around the resort area. That's it. I need a break!


That sounds good to me! Ha! I want to do CW on Sat with you, then probably Jamestown on Sunday. Busch on Monday. Chris says the amusement park crowd might be less on a weekday and that sounds about right to me. I know for a fact jamestown will only be a half day thing, so we'll still have the rest of Sunday to hang out, swim, naps, etc. I'm so excited!!

I think we'll leave the stroller home, tbh. Every time we've brought the stroller along (disney, zoo) we've regretted it. I'm bringing my Boba.

Sit on your butt! At least for a bit! You've got other mamas -- we'll help you out!!!

*Lauri* - I'm packing my pump for you, right? Do you have medela accessories (bottles to pump into, your own flanges) or should I bring those as well? What about bags? Do you want to freeze/fridge any?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> Still getting the hang of forums+ tablet, but it's nice to see you all.  Not much going on here this weekend, we've all been sick.. I think we're over the worst of it, and the kids went to bed without meltdowns and they even had baths! The hubby and I have been watching Battlestar Galatica this weekend, ran out of free episodes on hulu though.


Boooo to sick!! Just went thru a week from hell here as well. Stomach flu and then Nora had a fever/flu symptoms, and now Finn has a runny nose and cough.

WHOOP BSG! Best show ever!!! Do you have netflix streaming? It's on there!!

I just started watching Dr Who. I like it! I don't know what all the fuss is about yet, but it's an ok show, lol!

Happy Labor Day! Better go pack up all my white shorts.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I've decided not to bring any of our big strollers. I'll bring some carriers and the umbrella stroller in case Kellen gets tired.

I thought you said Jamestown was a half day or you could easily do Jamestown and Yorktown in the same day. If we did that, we'd still have one full day to chill. We'll go to Jamestown with you all, too.

I had fun at the rally. I don't know if I got in any of the news reports. My sign had the word, "vaginal," which might be a bit to risque.







I got to see my 3 midwives.









we were sick, too. hope it passes quickly.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Baby_Cakes, no need to bring your pump unless MW wants to use it while we are together to build up a bit of a freezer stash. You were wanting to try to donate some, right MW? I'm getting better at being able to go out for a few hours w/out having to take my pump and based on what we are doing on Saturday, I can just pump while we are at the condo. Did I tell you guys I killed ANOTHER pump? Good grief. Luckily, I found another local mama that hardly used her PISA and she sold it to me for $50. Hopefully this one will last until I wean.

Strollers, ugh, I don't know what to do. I can borrow an umbrella stroller from my mom but Ava has really started to like her stroller and I'd kind of like to encourage it. Plus, I use the stroller to carry my bag while we're out too. I'm bringing my Hotslings and my Bali Breeze.

I'm bringing toys and books for the babies and some toys for the older ones too. Oh and wine for the mamas!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Here's the first news story of the Wilmington rally. http://www.wect.com/story/19443423/dozens-use-labor-day-to-promote-natural-birth#.UETtC993cOE.facebook

I was talking about buying an inexpensive manual pump to see if I could get some milk to donate. I've never pumped before so I don't know what brands are good. I don't want to spend a lot on an electric pump that I may not use much, if at all.


----------



## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Boooo to sick!! Just went thru a week from hell here as well. Stomach flu and then Nora had a fever/flu symptoms, and now Finn has a runny nose and cough.
> 
> ...


 Yea, I think we're finally all nearly recovered. I can't believe how long it took to go through the whole house. Hoping that's the end of it, it's just to bad we spent our last long weekend for awhile being sick. Seems like a waste!

I'll have to check and see if we want to go netflix or hulu+, we watched all we could for free.  We haven't watched Dr.Who, my sister is obsessed with it though.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I had fun at the rally. I don't know if I got in any of the news reports. My sign had the word, "vaginal," which might be a bit to risque.
> 
> ...


 The rally looked awesome, a friend of mine posted this link to some photos for one of the rally's :http://www.ashleylangford.com/1417/birth-photography/improving-birth-national-rally-for-change-arlington-texas/


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I don't know that we had any rallys. it's great there was such good news coverage of yours MW.

manual pumps: I would go Avent - from local mamas recommendations, that is the best hand pump bar none. I used a lanisoh bc it was cheapest and I was not a big fan. I like electric, bc I don't have to think about keeping up the rhythm. You can find used ones (I know technically Medela PISA is not a closed system, but I inspected my used PISA and honestly couldn't figure out how milk could even theoretically get to the motor. And it's been used by the mama before me, and me for 2 kids, and hopefully will go another round. Granted, I don't give it the hard use a EP'er would (If I EP'd, I'd be using a hospital grade pump for sure. worth the $$) So, check craigslist, etc and see about a used electric pump. new tubing and horns, etc aren't that expensive.

Sunday night the kids were so beyond tired, they didn't go to bed until after midnight. I ended up having to wrap Norah and wear her down to sleep. But, once she was asleep, she slept for 5 hours straight!!! and then nursed and went back to sleep until Gabe woke us up whining at 7:15. Last night, DH put her down between 10:30 and 11, and she slept again until 5 a.m., nursed then and again at 6. those early morning nursing are all she's had (as in the only nursings) the last couple days. I am a little sad, but also so happy to be getting more sleep!

Strollers: If I were going (and I am so bummed that I'm not, you have no idea) I'd bring my Maclaren (umbrella ish stroller), my longest wrap jic I need to tandem wear, my ring sling and my SSC. All have good uses. ITA, even if you got better discounts before going, wait to buy, you just never know what you might want to do when you get there, who might end up sick, or what the weather will do. Drink some good wine for me!

I am assuming this vacay will be a big hit, and I totally think we should repeat it. (and I will save $$ better next year so we can go too!)

Lyterae - it's good to see you on here, though I am glad for facebook too!

i hope everyone's families get well and stay well!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Those photos are great! My butt got in the local paper online. hehe

Nothing much going on here yet. It's still early. I love that Sean cleans but I get annoyed that he tries to involve me in it before I've had all my coffee.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Hey MW, is there a washer/dryer for dipes at the resort in our suite?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Hey MW, is there a washer/dryer for dipes at the resort in our suite?


Yes, there will be a washer/dryer in each unit. I got a big pack of flushable liners because I can't do the spatula again. DH said he could bring the sprayer but, eh.

Craigslist still creeps me out. I have never even searched for anything to buy there. I can look other places for a used electric pump, I guess. I'm not fully committed to pumping so I don't want to get too fancy/complicated about it.

The next vacation will have to be west and north so that JJ and little a can come.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I am so stoked! I've been selling a bunch of my woolies like crazy. I just ordered 6 diapers with the money and still have money left over! It's pretty cool to have a PP balance.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I am so stoked! I've been selling a bunch of my woolies like crazy. I just ordered 6 diapers with the money and still have money left over! It's pretty cool to have a PP balance.


Woo hoo!!! That must feel awesome!

And cool b/c you made them, you know?

Great news about the washing machine - for clothes too just in case.

Ooh wine! Does anyone else drink whiskey? I'm going to bring some of that too, I think. I'm so so so looking fwd to this trip!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Woo hoo!!! That must feel awesome!
> And cool b/c you made them, you know?


Yeah, and I've had a couple people ask to "commission" me to make woolies for them and one person said I should run some knitting classes. DH is already drawing up my business plan.







He's so funny. Even with all the yarn I buy and knitting I've been doing for years and talking about other people selling things, he said he didn't realize there was such a market for it.








Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Great news about the washing machine - for clothes too just in case.


Yes, for clothes, too. I think you'll need to bring your own detergent. They may supply one little box of Tide or something like that but I'm not sure.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Ooh wine! Does anyone else drink whiskey? I'm going to bring some of that too, I think. I'm so so so looking fwd to this trip!


DH would probably drink some whiskey. I might try a sip just because but I probably won't be able to drink it. I never have been. DH said he might be able to get some home brewed beer from someone he works with. The guy brews his own and enters and wins competitions so maybe it's really good (if you like beer).


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

MW, that's awesome that your stuff is selling!

Baby_Cakes, I don't drink liquor but loooooove red wine so that's what I'm bringing!

akind1, You are doing so great with all of this. I can only imagine how tired you must be and yet you are still doing lots of fun activities with Gabe and Norah. You rock mama!

JJ, you doing ok?

AFM, DD signed "more" today. It was totally out of context so I think she was just practicing but it was still very cute! I hope there is a baby pool at the resort. She loves going in the water so much. We spend like 30 mins in the shower every day now. My mom is coming to take her to the children's museum tomorrow morning and give me a bit of a break. I need to do things like vacuum and clean the bathroom, stuff I can't do with Ava home but there's a big chance I'll sit on my butt and stare at the wall the whole time!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

AnnieA - the only way I stay sane is to get out of the house and do stuff! When I'm home, I don't interact much with them, because it's more fun to just sit back and watch them figure things out. Plus, I feel like I'm messing up their play if I join in. I will get down on the floor and let them climb all over me, or take DS to the pond to throw rocks, but I really like kid directed play. (plus maybe I am just lazy like that  )

You are all going to have a blast!

Maybe we could get a cabin in the mountains or something next year, or visit Amish country? Their stores sell lots of cloth diapers! (even bumgenius, which seems kind of not-Amish to me, but whatever)

MW: congrats on the sales! I need to get on the ball and sell some stuff. Ugh.

Well, by anybody's standards, I'm finally in the 2nd trimester! 14 weeks! woot! I think I may be showing a little. Hard to say, as I have a good bit of belly anyway.

Carrie, I was reading an article yesterday on Slate about judging animal conciousness, and how that should determine whether or not we eat meat (and also views on abortion) and it was interesting. I always did wonder though, I can understand why it would feel wrong to kill an animal, to deprive it of life, just to eat it - but what if the animal died of natural causes or in an accident? (granted, these days it would be just about impossible to know that) but would that hold the same level of wrong-ness? I just always wondered, since I don't really have a moral/ethical/whatever position on the subject. I just eat what tastes good


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Kat ~ Yay for the 2nd trimester!







When are you going to tell everyone? It's getting harder and harder to not share pregnancy stuff on your Facebook.









I don't know how you get out and do things so much, either. I have found that I interact with my kids more when we are out, too. At home everyone usually gets busy with their own things. That's good, though. That's because home is comfortable and safe. I have to watch/interact with them more out in public just to keep them safe. KWIM?

We've done so much the past few days that I feel like I don't know which way is up. I want to stay home today and do nothing but Ethan has baseball practice tonight. He had his first game, just a scrimmage, last night and his team won. He didn't get a run but that's ok. He's now all fired up to practice so he can hit the ball out of the park.

JJ ~ I woke up thinking about you, too. Hopefully, you're sleeping.









Annie ~ I'd probably sit on my butt and stare at the walls, too. Whenever I'm totally kid free I have no idea what to do.









I have to take this darn cat to the vet again. He now has a hole in his neck under his chin that is leaking foamy, pussy stuff.







I took him to the vet last week because he had what looked like a puncture wound in the same place that was healing up but a large hard ball had formed under the skin next to it. The vet shaved it and gave him a shot of abx. Now that large ball is gone but the puncture wound has opened up to a hole with gunk coming out of it.

This cat is going to break us. First, it was the wound on the back on his neck. We got him neutered, which the vet said would help with the fighting but doesn't seem to have. Then ringworm and now this. I think I've spent $500 on this cat in the last month.

Guess what we finally did that night!














, nudge, nudge. I still couldn't really care less but it seemed to make dh happy so whatever. Hopefully, that will last him a while because, honestly, I was tired and didn't feel like getting up to do anything after falling half asleep.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Yay for DTD! and yeah, at least he is happy  I hope that spills over into everyday life.

We did NOT DTD last night and DH was kind of grumpy about it. oh well.

You have no idea how hard it is for me not to say things! But DH really wants us to hold out until Norah's birthday. So that's 5 more weeks. There are very good reasons for it, but it's hard. I don't think either of our families will be totally over the moon about it, so by waiting to share in front of a bunch of people, in a celebratory setting, I think will make them at least put on a happy face for the moment and let it sink in a little before they start griping. Now if one of our mothers does ask before the day, I don't know that I'll be able to lie. (I've successfully sidestepped general questions about when we plan on a third - but a point blank, "are you pregnant?" is a bit tougher)

Poor kitty! Wonder if kitty would hold still to put some garlic oil in the wound? cheap stuff, that.

I am beyond tired today. Need a kick in the pants.

JJ: hope you are doing ok.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> We did NOT DTD last night and DH was kind of grumpy about it. oh well.












Hm...I don't know about putting garlic oil in the wound. I thought you weren't supposed to put anything on a puncture wound. It's literally a hole. I can see inside it. Well, I can see darkness inside it.

On a good note about the cat, I think he mainly fights with the cat next door and they are moving soon.







Funny to talk about being happy that a cat neighbor is moving.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

we stuffed medicated dressings (it looked like skinny tape) in puncture wound looking bedsores quite often in the hospital and nursing homes. . . .

from what I can tell (gotta love doctor google) oil based things like neosporin, etc and my bright idea of garlic oil, can impede healing, best thing to do is to frequently wash it out with some sort of antiseptic:

Bite wounds and claw wounds require special attention not only because they are likely to become infected (which interferes with healing), but also because if the body's defenses (white blood cells and lymph nodes) are unable to overcome the bacteria, infection may spread from the original wound to the bloodstream. This may result in a septicemia (bacterial toxins in the blood) or a bacteremia (actual bacteria in the blood) and can sometimes eventually lead to death. Although puncture wounds are difficult to wash, you should make an attempt to clean them thoroughly whenever you notice any on your cat. Flushing a mild disinfectant into the wound under light pressure (with a eyedropper, turkey baster, or syringe) is one of the best home remedies because this action tends to wash debris out of the wound. Disinfectants that are used in veterinary hospitals and that you can buy there or in drugstores include 0.001% to 1% povidoneiodine (the more dilute solutions are actually more potent disinfectants and less damaging to healthy tissue), 0.55% chlorhexidine, and 0.125% to 0.5% sodium hypochlorite (one fourth to full strength Dakin's solution), which can be made by diluting household bleach 1:10 to 1:40 with water. Flushing with hydrogen peroxide, once thought to be an effective wound treatment, has fallen into disfavor due to its weak antibacterial properties. Its foaming action is impressive but is best reserved for flushing debris or blood clots from a wound. If used, the concentration of hydrogen peroxide should never be more than 3%. Do not instill oil-based antibiotic wound ointments or those containing the local anesthetic benzocaine into the wound cavity as oily products may interfere with healing. Any benzocaine absorbed through the skin is toxic to red blood cells. If possible, antibiotics should be administered by a veterinarian from the start of treatment (within twenty-four hours of the bite) since bite wounds are so prone to infection. The biting cat (or other animal) should be investigated regarding the status of its rabies immunization.

The cat doesn't belong to the destructive neighbor boy, does it???


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Thanks for all of that. I think I have some povidone iodine and maybe some chlorhexidine (from my homebirth kit). I called the vet and one of the docs is going to call me back later today. The cat did get an abx shot so we are good there.

No, the fighting cat belongs to the neighbor on the other side of us. I'm not sure that's who my cat got in a fight with, bit or clawed by, if that's what it really is. That's just my guess based on the fact that that cat would come into our garage to eat our cat food if the door was open and the cats would hiss at each other. I've never actually seen or heard them fight.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

So, after finally dtd I am a total grump. What do you suppose that says about me?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Another site I read said that often the initial abx do not work, and they may need to culture the wound to be able to prescribe the most effective abx for that strain of bacteria. (don't know if that was done initially or not)

I want to post on FB - but don't - about political stuff. Honestly I don't want to vote for either of the primary candidates LOL. I think we need a complete departure from the status quo, and I don't think either is capable of that. but I do like the e-cards you posted about making soap


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *MarineWife* 

The next vacation will have to be west and north so that JJ and little a can come.









Or tons South! LOL I would have a much easier time convincing DH if we were going somewhere tropical! However much more expensive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *AnnieA* 

akind1, You are doing so great with all of this. I can only imagine how tired you must be and yet you are still doing lots of fun activities with Gabe and Norah. You rock mama!

AFM, DD signed "more" today. It was totally out of context so I think she was just practicing but it was still very cute! I hope there is a baby pool at the resort. She loves going in the water so much. We spend like 30 mins in the shower every day now. My mom is coming to take her to the children's museum tomorrow morning and give me a bit of a break. I need to do things like vacuum and clean the bathroom, stuff I can't do with Ava home but there's a big chance I'll sit on my butt and stare at the wall the whole time!

Yes! Man Kat, I can't imagine dealing with early pregnancy right now, let alone adding an older toddler into the mix as well! You really are a superstar!

Aww I love seeing them sign. I -think- Ten has started signing more by tapping her tray with the fingers of one hand (instead of tapping them together).

Hopefully you get a chance to get some stuff done! I'll echo the sentiment of having stuff to do, but also just wanting to sit and enjoy the quiet! lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by *MarineWife* 
I don't know how you get out and do things so much, either. I have found that I interact with my kids more when we are out, too. At home everyone usually gets busy with their own things. That's good, though. That's because home is comfortable and safe. I have to watch/interact with them more out in public just to keep them safe. KWIM?


> JJ ~ I woke up thinking about you, too. Hopefully, you're sleeping.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah, I'm the same. I pay more attention to her one on one, rather than getting distracted. That's why we're trying to plan out one set activity every day. It helps me to feel more like I'm actually 'here for' her babyhood, rather than just passing it by.

Yay for dtd! lol

I am doing better. Slowly, little, day by day. I think we've found a slow middle ground of effective sleep helping. She's not left to cry, but we are trying to put her in her crib earlier so she's associating it more with being able to relax herself to sleep. Last night she did a 3 hour stretch! The other ones were still every hour, but hey, one 3 hour is nothing to sneeze at. She's not as frantic to nurse every time she wakes either. And her daytime naps (once we get her down, which is still a struggle) have been on average an hour, without us having to go in and keep resettling her. She's been teething really heavily the past few months, so I think there's a good chance that once she comes through this, we're going to notice a bigger difference.

Went to the wedding on Sunday, and it went really well. She was quiet throughout the ceremony, then we put her in the Boba and she had a nap during the cocktail and transition time, and woke up just as dinner started. She ate a bit, and then we danced and visited for awhile. Ended up going home at 1030pm, and she slept the whole way home, and then transitioned into her bed without waking up (which neevr happens!!) and then slept for another 45 minutes. That was nice.

We got a lot done yesterday. We've been working on the basement, so we did a bit of that, plus did some running around and errands I've been waiting on for a week or so. I picked up another diaper I've been wanting, and got fabric to recover the glider. Plus we bought the material and finished the inside of our nightstand drawers, which I've been waiting on for a while. It was nice to feel like we wrapped up a bunch of stuff. DH also got to visit with one of his friends from medic school, whom he hasn't seen in a while, which I think was good for him.

Anyways, so yes. I'm still tired as heck, but I think things are looking better.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Oh, further south and tropical, ok. Hm...somewhere with great SCUBA diving? The Cayman Islands? DH and Ryan are both certified and I have been once. Sean really likes to do that, although he hasn't in a really long time.

A 3 hour stretch of sleep is a big thing when you've been getting only 1 hour snatches here and there.

I saw the photo of you holding Tenley at the wedding. You looked very sexy, mama! Woohoo!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Yes, the wedding pics look awesome!

I vote for either a cruise then, or somewhere in FL. I really don't want to take my whole crew, plus DH (who at 6 foot 6 and whatever he weighs) on a plane. misery compounded by more misery. I wonder how many of us it would take to qualify for a group rate on a cruise????

JJ: that is good sleep! I got 2 nights of good sleep (5 hour plus stretches!) then last night kind of sucked. But she's walking, and I think that that is both helping and not helping.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Oh, I'm scared of cruises. I don't know if I could do that. But, maybe we could meet you all at one of the ports where the ship stops.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

LOL! I don't Scuba, but I do like snorkeling. Any good reefs off the FL coast?


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Carrie, I was reading an article yesterday on Slate about judging animal conciousness, and how that should determine whether or not we eat meat (and also views on abortion) and it was interesting. I always did wonder though, I can understand why it would feel wrong to kill an animal, to deprive it of life, just to eat it - but what if the animal died of natural causes or in an accident? (granted, these days it would be just about impossible to know that) but would that hold the same level of wrong-ness? I just always wondered, since I don't really have a moral/ethical/whatever position on the subject. I just eat what tastes good


I think for me personally it goes a little beyond just killing it. I can't bring myself to now eat an animal. No matter how it died/was killed. I think b/c I have been veg for so long, I don't see it as food, any more than I would see another person as food. I know that's kind of harsh but for me that's just how it feels. Now, arguing ethically about cause of death... I guess one could say if an animal died on its own, would you want to eat it? It could be diseased, infected. I wouldn't think that would be wise. Or -- just old age - how much nutrition could it really hold? I think we need to think more about not can will or will we, but should we?

That said, I kind of think if I had free range chickens on my land, I wouldn't mind eating an egg it layed. But. I wouldn't go buy egg laying hens just to remove the middle man. I've gone so long w/o it, again, I don't think of it as food.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Aww I love seeing them sign. I -think- Ten has started signing more by tapping her tray with the fingers of one hand (instead of tapping them together).
> 
> Anyways, so yes. I'm still tired as heck, but I think things are looking better.


Yay for early signs!!

Finn is kind of reliable to sign more but sometimes he just touches his hands together as if clapping. And oh man he will sign all done so emphatically it looks like he's trying to flap his wings and fly away! LOL! I'm trying to borrow some DVDs so we can learn more signs together and hopefully the visual will help him more than me just doing it when things are happening.

Today tho, he's making some sounds that I really noticed. "D-D-D" when we saw a picture of Dora at the store, and now if/when something drops, he doesn't say Uh-oh but he hums the sound! It's so cute!

He's pointing to EVERYTHING. I'm really trying to name all the things and not be as quick to respond to a shriek, but rather use the word and make sure he gets it as well as he can.

And JJ I'm so glad things are looking up! Sleep is so crucial!!

Lauri - I only drink white! LOL! I'll bring white and whiskey then!

Future trips - I've never been on a cruise! Idk. I think when the kids are older (much) we'll try the disney cruise land and sea package with my ILs.

Still house hunting here. We still haven't even been out to look IRL but looking online and seeing what is out there is motivating. DH has been working hard and is almost ready to paint the breezeway!

MW wtg on DTD! Did he initiate?? I'm curious. I'm having an interesting fertile time -- I'm not in the mood at all! Idk what gives. Usually I get the fertile baby crazies but so far this cycle, nothing!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Carrie - thanks for weighing in - I was honestly curious. I could easily give up meat (as in cow, chicken, poultry, pork) but I love fish too much to stop eating it. I get, absolutely, not seeing animals as a food source since you don't use them as such. We don't eat cats, dogs, or horses, or bugs here - but in some parts of the world, they are valid sources of nutrition. I wouldn't be up for eating most of those, because it just is weird to me.

I think the hardest thing I have to come to terms with with vegetarian/veganism is replacing a "natural" food - like turkey or cheese - with one artificially contrived to taste like that. If you want cheese, eat cheese. But, hey, it's not really my dilemma, since I am on a See Food diet 

House hunting! exciting stuff! I love to window shop houses . . .

I want to wait until Gabe is 5 (so 2-3 more years) before we do Disney.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

See food diet.







That's me, too! It's not working in my favor right now.

I don't know much about Florida or snorkeling. I'm not a fan of water stuff. I scare myself thinking about what might be in the water with me.









Carrie ~ He initiated after I told him to, sort of. He said a few times that I didn't seem interested, to which I asked how he could know that since he hadn't tried to do anything. He also said that I had verbally turned him down, which is not true at all. I have not told him I didn't want to. It took a while but I guess he finally got the message. He said he was waiting for me because after his last deployment I told him that I didn't like feeling pressured. That had to do with him saying stupid things to me, not being romantic or affectionate. I wish he would ask for clarification on things that I say because he misunderstands me a lot.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I think the hardest thing I have to come to terms with with vegetarian/veganism is replacing a "natural" food - like turkey or cheese - with one artificially contrived to taste like that. If you want cheese, eat cheese. But, hey, it's not really my dilemma, since I am on a See Food diet


I agree it's kind of an oxymoron. But, it's not as though we stop eating it b/c we don't like the taste. We might actually really like the taste! So it can be hard to not give into indulgences with the analogues. That said, they are maybe ... less than 1% of what we eat? Idk. Mostly we eat all whole foods, fruits, veggies and grains, legumes. Things like fake turkey slices and daiya would be the equivalent to like....cold cuts and kraft mac and cheese. Not something you would eat daily or often if youwant to be healthy. You know what I mean?

Lol see food!

Nora had a GREAT first day of school! Whew! Looking fwd to a fun year.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Carrie - thanks for weighing in - I was honestly curious. I could easily give up meat (as in cow, chicken, poultry, pork) but I love fish too much to stop eating it. I get, absolutely, not seeing animals as a food source since you don't use them as such. We don't eat cats, dogs, or horses, or bugs here - but in some parts of the world, they are valid sources of nutrition. I wouldn't be up for eating most of those, because it just is weird to me.
> 
> I think the hardest thing I have to come to terms with with vegetarian/veganism is replacing a "natural" food - like turkey or cheese - with one artificially contrived to taste like that. If you want cheese, eat cheese. But, hey, it's not really my dilemma, since I am on a See Food diet


Yeah, I've heard some people that eat road kill- because it's died of natural causes. I -get- it, but... ewww!

And yes, I totally agree about the replacement food. I think that's why the Daiya food scares me so much! lol Aside from like veggie burgers, it makes me laugh when I see people talking about "Oh I made the best chicken strips the other day!" And I know they're vegetarian or vegan. I'm like ok... I get the strip desire. But... then just call it potato strips, or bean strips or whatever. Why the need to make it into a "meat replacement"?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> See food diet.
> 
> ...


That's good that you guys got a chance to talk about it a bit more. DH and I had a good talk the other day, and I felt a lot better, but then the next day AF started. Figures.

I know the Florida keys has snorkling. But I can't snorkle or scuba. DH would love to learn though. Me, I'm with MW-- I'd rather pretend the ocean is empty


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Baby_Cakes, I'll bring some white too. My Whole Foods has a label called Three Wishes that is ridiculously cheap and very tasty so I'll bring some of their red and white.

MW and JJ, I'm with y'all. I like to see the bottom of whatever water I'm in! That's why I loved the beaches in Thailand. The water was crystal clear. I'm good going wherever. Just need to start saving my pennies!

Williamsburg question...are you guys bringing high chairs? I just thought of that today.

Ava signed "more" today for real...so cute!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Aw, man, Dylan isn't signing or talking. He's been squeezing his hand together like "milk" but he does it for anything he wants. It's not just for milk. He said "mama" twice the other day, too. Kellen heard him. He didn't mean me, though. He was just babbling and making noises. He hasn't done it since.

JJ ~ I meant to mention that I watched a show about dumpster diving and living completely on foraged food, including meat. There was a man in England who ate only road kill. He would even feed it to his friends when they came over to eat. I get the idea but I couldn't do it, either. I could possibly do the dumpster diving. They don't eat someone else's half eaten food. They collect untouched, wrapped food that's been thrown out by restaurants because it wasn't used that day.

Annie ~ I'm glad you asked about that. DH would probably have thought of it. We have a portable seat that goes on a chair. We'll bring that. We may have a 2nd one. If we do, I could bring that if you don't have one and don't want to buy one.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I might just break down and buy one. Walmart has one that sits in a chair for $17 and I've been thinking about getting something like that anyway and putting away the big highchair because it takes up so much space. I'll think about it. In the meantime, if you confirm that you do have a second one, can you let me know?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Sure. They aren't expensive. We picked up the newer one we have while at my mom's after I got there and realized we had nothing for Dylan to sit in at the table.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I love my $25 Ikea high chair. It breaks down pretty small. And can be used either pulled up to a table or with a tray.

Roadkill= ick for me. I'd rather have meat that was hunted (the idea of tires all over a small animal and most of the innards squashed to bits really turns me off) - I really have no problem with hunting so long as hunters use what the kill for meat/leather/etc - I don't like the idea of hunting as pure sport, and the animal is only a trophy. I have friends that live off their chickens and whatever else they happen to be able to kill that year, deer, rabbit, fish. Not only is it cheaper, but also far more likely to have fewer hormones, antibiotics, all that stuff. It's an intriguing way to live, but neither DH or I hunt, or have time to.

Crap sleep last night. Norah woke up and was all wriggly and it took me forever to realize she had peed through her diaper and her onesie was soaked. *sigh* but she went back to sleep pretty easily once she was dry.

Need to eat something . . . .


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I'm tired this morning.

I'm planning to go to a family team meeting for dh's unit today. should be interesting. I've never been to anything like that. The spouses of all the Marines in charge, the Colonel, the CO (dh), 1st Sargeant, another Sargeant (Master, maybe), the Family Readiness Officer (a civilian, usually spouse of one of the Marines in the unit) and the Marine Corps Community Service rep assigned to the unit all are invited. Ryan has agreed to watch the bigger boys but I'll be taking Dylan with me.

Last night I asked dh to take Dylan upstairs and away from me because he just would not stop fussing and climbing all over me but nothing would make him happy. I stayed downstairs and messed around on the computer for a bit, maybe a half hour or so. When I went up to bed Dylan was asleep on dh's chest! And he stayed asleep even after everyone else climbed into bed. I don't know why I'm so tired.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

MW: a few nights ago we had that - DH took baby, and baby stayed asleep for ages - I still woke up exhausted. It's like my body just doesn't understand that it should be energized and rested! LOL I say keep trying that, and see if it can become routine.

Potty training is back on - DS took off his diaper, so I said lets go sit on the potty, and voila, he did finally pee. I think he is finally getting how to "go" if that makes sense - usually it just sort of happens, he doesn't try to control it. I just hope it keeps up. 2 in diapers is plenty - I don't want 3!

My next OB appointment is a week away, and I'm looking forward to it - the pregnancy only seems really real during those visits right now, when I can hear the heartbeat. Otherwise it just seems like some crazy mind trick. Maybe if I had a harder pregnancy, it wouldn't seem that way, but I am certainly not wishing for that!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Roadkill= ick for me. I'd rather have meat that was hunted (the idea of tires all over a small animal and most of the innards squashed to bits really turns me off) - I really have no problem with hunting so long as hunters use what the kill for meat/leather/etc - I don't like the idea of hunting as pure sport, and the animal is only a trophy. I have friends that live off their chickens and whatever else they happen to be able to kill that year, deer, rabbit, fish. Not only is it cheaper, but also far more likely to have fewer hormones, antibiotics, all that stuff. It's an intriguing way to live, but neither DH or I hunt, or have time to.
> 
> Crap sleep last night. Norah woke up and was all wriggly and it took me forever to realize she had peed through her diaper and her onesie was soaked. *sigh* but she went back to sleep pretty easily once she was dry.


Exactly. My best friend's family is like that- they hunt year round, and eat almost exclusively what they hunt- duck, goose, deer, fish, etc. They rarely buy meat from the store. And then yes, they obviously enjoy the sport/art part of it. I can't hunt. I've shot a gun before, but I couldn't bring myself to shoot an animal.

I've done that before. You feel pretty guilty afterwards when you're like ohhh, ok, THAT is why you didn't want to sleep. lol I've put Ten on the potty before, when she's been really resisting going back to sleep, only to have her pee, and then practically fall asleep in my arms.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I'm tired this morning.
> I'm planning to go to a family team meeting for dh's unit today. should be interesting. I've never been to anything like that. The spouses of all the Marines in charge, the Colonel, the CO (dh), 1st Sargeant, another Sargeant (Master, maybe), the Family Readiness Officer (a civilian, usually spouse of one of the Marines in the unit) and the Marine Corps Community Service rep assigned to the unit all are invited. Ryan has agreed to watch the bigger boys but I'll be taking Dylan with me.
> Last night I asked dh to take Dylan upstairs and away from me because he just would not stop fussing and climbing all over me but nothing would make him happy. I stayed downstairs and messed around on the computer for a bit, maybe a half hour or so. When I went up to bed Dylan was asleep on dh's chest! And he stayed asleep even after everyone else climbed into bed. I don't know why I'm so tired.


That sounds fun. Sometimes I like going to things with DH's friends and workmates. It's fun to watch his interactions.

*hugs* Been there. a lot more lately than I'd like. It's funny though, last night Ten wouldn't settle and DH said she could sleep on his chest all night if she wants because "She's only going to let me do this for a little while longer." It was so sweet. She did end up sleeping with us from about midnight onwards because she was having a hard time settling. I was cramped, so my back hurts, but she slept pretty well. I think we averaged every 90 minutes to 2 hours in between wakeups, which again, is a big improvement.

We have two teeth fully out now, two broken the skin and moving quickly, and 3 more that are pushing on the gums. I can't wait for this to be "over".

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> MW: a few nights ago we had that - DH took baby, and baby stayed asleep for ages - I still woke up exhausted. It's like my body just doesn't understand that it should be energized and rested! LOL I say keep trying that, and see if it can become routine.
> 
> ...


I can only imagine how different pregnancy must be with two littles at home, as opposed to it being your first. With your first you have nothing but time and energy to focus towards this growing person. With littlesa t home... yikes! I can barely remember to brush my teeth, let alone stop and savor a pregnancy!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I think part of it too is that there are still people who don't know (church friends, family mostly, some co workers, random facebook people . . .) and since it's not fully out in the open, it doesn't seem as real. Part of me is enjoying the quiet seceretive time, but part of me is dying to talk about it, and kind of feeling like I'm doing this baby a disservice - I'm not ashamed or regretting the pregnancy exactly. It's a surprise, but not an unwelcome one.

JJ: so glad you are getting better sleep!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

The meeting was interesting. It was kind of cool to see how much everyone wanted to get families more involved in things. I really thought that most of the Marines, especially the higher ranks, didn't care. It will be interesting to see how my input goes over since I'm so subversive.







For example, the Colonel was talking about ways to get more spouses to a town hall meeting that's been set up. It's really for passing info to the spouses more than the Marines but a lot of spouses don't come because of kids and what-not. They decided to make it mandatory for the Marines so that at least one person from each family would come. However, if the Marine wants to stay home with the kids so the spouse can come, that's fine.

They brought up that the CDC daycare was going to have free childcare and how easy it is to register. It's not really easy, though. They have a form that's several pages long as they ask for a physical from a doctor. I don't take my kids to the doctor for physicals and I have no need to use the CDC on a regular basis so I'm not going to take them to the doctor for physicals that take 2-3 hours each just for that. Then they mentioned that you can bring your kids to the meeting. That's fine but then someone said they might exceed the capacity of the building/meeting room. I piped in and said that I wouldn't want to bring my kids to the meeting, either, because I wouldn't be able to pay attention to the speakers and info.

Now I feel obligated to go to this town hall meeting but I can't find child care. Ryan and his girlfriend both work. DH has to be there because he's presenting something so he can't stay home with the kids. I am not going to take all 3 boys. There's no way they will sit still and be quiet for 2 hours while a bunch of boring Marines talk at them about stuff that won't make any sense.









I felt like I didn't really get to enjoy my pregnancy with Dylan. I was so busy with Ethan and Kellen that there wasn't any time to just be with the baby growing inside me.







It's all good now, though.

JJ ~ I hope the teething is over soon. Maybe Tenley will settle down after that.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I keep forgetting to share my chart. I think I may have Oed. No temps so I can't know for sure but it appears that my CF has finally dried up. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/coconutsFFChart


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I think part of it too is that there are still people who don't know (church friends, family mostly, some co workers, random facebook people . . .) and since it's not fully out in the open, it doesn't seem as real. Part of me is enjoying the quiet seceretive time, but part of me is dying to talk about it, and kind of feeling like I'm doing this baby a disservice - I'm not ashamed or regretting the pregnancy exactly. It's a surprise, but not an unwelcome one.
> 
> JJ: so glad you are getting better sleep!


Ahh, that makes sense. It's hard when you can't talk about it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> The meeting was interesting. It was kind of cool to see how much everyone wanted to get families more involved in things. I really thought that most of the Marines, especially the higher ranks, didn't care. It will be interesting to see how my input goes over since I'm so subversive.
> 
> ...


That does sound interesting... though I see how it could be frustrating with the child care.

Teething-- I hope so too!

My brain is fried, so I don't remember if I mentioned this, but Ten was chosen for a photo shoot with AMP diapers tomorrow morning. Some sort of promotional thing I'm sure. I'm just hoping they'll send us copies of a few of the photos, and that maybe we'll get to take some diapers home!!

DH and I had a good talk tonight about finances and the whole going back to work thing. If I stay home, we will just barely make our bills. Which is fine, but we want to be able to put into savings, rainy day, ongoing renos, etc. So we need to find a way to come up with a bit of extra cash. Still talking things through, but for like the first time ever, it's been a really good productive, calm talk.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ ~ You did not mention the photo shoot. Sounds like fun! Hopefully, you'll get some free diapers out of it.

There some serious drama going on in my local natural mamas facebook group. I don't know what happened but I think it has something to do with one person reporting another person to her husband's marine command for having a homebirth. There's something about an official investigation. Crazy!

Annie ~ What kind of red wine do you like? I prefer cabernet but also like malbec. I can do merlot.

I forgot again. Maybe we should do some fun, fancy drinks like those blue margaritas. That's not something I would normally have at home by myself but it might be fun to make a pitcher for everyone. Or there was a spicy something mojito on a menu I saw the other day. That sounded interesting.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I miss OB appts. I love my OB. Since I've been getting more sleep, baby lust is kicking in to high gear. Ugh. Having two babies to take care of at night would seriously push DH over the edge.

Wine...as long as it's red, I drink it...







...joking...kind of.







I think the label that I get has a Cab Sav or a Merlot. I love Malbec too. Mojitos would be good. I don't really do mixed drinks or liquor though so whatever you guys want to do.

The daycare drop-off thing...meh. I'd probably go through the pain of getting the form filled out if it's a one time thing so I had the option to drop off the kids when needed. But going to DD's pedi isn't a hassle for me.

AFM, ugh, my poor sweet baby is getting shuffled all over the place tonight. Back to school night crapola. My mom came and picked her up this afternoon and took her to her house but Ava is used to having her Dada at night. And now that she's getting verbal, she lets you know. I called around 8 PM to my mom's cell to talk to Ava before she went to bed and she was just a fussing at me and then she kept saying "Da? Da?" so I told her that Dada was coming to get her but it would be a bit longer and she burst in to tears!







My mom said she kept pointing to the door and saying "Da? Da?" Oh it just breaks my heart! There's one more back to school night so I took off from work so she doesn't have to go through this again. It sucks.


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

MW - thank you SOOOOO much for the socks! They are so adorable and they all fit perfectly! I am gonna post a pic of the girls wearing them on facebook in a second.

Unfortunately I could only get three girls at a time. So one pic is the three littlest and the other one is the three oldest.

That sounds funny, but one has arianna and one has kayla and they BOTH have Jacinta and Mikelina


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

OMG - I am such a bad internet friend. I totally fell off the face of MDC









I have been trying to keep up with you all on FB though.

Lyterae! How have you been? Are you on FB at all?

Gosh, reading about you guys all getting together and drinking wine is making me super jealous. Must go somewhere tropical one of these days.

My brother is building a house in Nicarugua (totally spelled that wrong) right on the beach. Everything is super cheap there as well. We should totally go there! He would even understand about internet friends because that is how he makes a living









MW - I can not imagine going so long without DTD.......I'm actually kind of jealous. What does that say about me???









So, I'm having a lot of fun with this book thing! It's kind of cool. It's like a modern day gold rush, everyone thinking they can write. I guess I feel kind of silly joining in, but hey! I've been in marketing for so long I know the quickest way to get big is to do stuff for other people. 
So I started a blog and am promoting other people's books FOR them.

I'm not really sure where I plan to go with it completely, but it is kind of like I want to *sell the shovels* and *dig for gold* at the same time.

For only having a blog for a couple weeks it is already getting between 100-300 views daily. (Which may not sound like a lot, but for a new blog it is!)

Once I get more of a following and am closer to being done with the first book I plan to put the first chapter up on my blog with a signup for to a list that will let people know when the book is published as well as give them the second (or even the second and third chapter free.

So, I've been pretty crazy busy with that, but it's been fun.

On top of all THAT - my DH recently got us a gym membership. It's pretty ridiculously expensive, but it's a really nice place with a bunch of free classes and the daycare center ROCKS. 
The kids love it!

So I get away from them for about an hour (I can use two hours daily) and get to work out. It's nice to get away from them that's for sure - I'm a little "kidded" out sometimes. Four kids is no joke.

I guess that's all. I know I missed a bunch of stuff. I am going to try to get on at least once a day to keep up with you guys.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

MW: it is a lot to go through for just a couple hours. The gym's daycare form is like 1/2 page and they do ask if your kid is up to date on their shots (but not a copy of the shot record) I just said, yup. (because on our schedule, which is 0, they are  )

Hooray for speaking up though!

Why don't they get a bigger space and I am sure one of the higher ups has a teenager that could supervise kids for a couple hours, or maybe one of the wives that doesn't really want to listen?

Can I tell you how much I miss the O club? their Sunday brunch is so awesome . . . . and the auto hobby shop. *sigh*

Annie+numbers - so good to see you again! glad the blog is going well.

Poor Ava 

JJ: good luck at the photo shoot! are you still taking doula clients? (I think IRC you are a doula? what else do you do professionally?)

Crap night of sleep. Norah on the boob all the time. ugh.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> My brain is fried, so I don't remember if I mentioned this, but Ten was chosen for a photo shoot with AMP diapers tomorrow morning. Some sort of promotional thing I'm sure. I'm just hoping they'll send us copies of a few of the photos, and that maybe we'll get to take some diapers home!!
> 
> DH and I had a good talk tonight about finances and the whole going back to work thing. If I stay home, we will just barely make our bills. Which is fine, but we want to be able to put into savings, rainy day, ongoing renos, etc. So we need to find a way to come up with a bit of extra cash. Still talking things through, but for like the first time ever, it's been a really good productive, calm talk.


Oooh cool! Yes I hope you get some swag!

What about taking a doula client a month? That cant hurt, right? 
I'm still trying to figure out child care logistics though so if that is why you aren't that makes sense. It's tough to think about who will watch the baby if you get called away for 24 hours :-(.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I forgot again. Maybe we should do some fun, fancy drinks like those blue margaritas. That's not something I would normally have at home by myself but it might be fun to make a pitcher for everyone. Or there was a spicy something mojito on a menu I saw the other day. That sounded interesting.


Ok ok, I'll bring the tequila! LOL!

We actually normally only drink wine and whiskey/coke. Margaritas and things I usually have if we go out to dinner or for a party.

This is going to be such a fun trip!! I can't wait!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *annie2186*
> 
> On top of all THAT - my DH recently got us a gym membership. It's pretty ridiculously expensive, but it's a really nice place with a bunch of free classes and the daycare center ROCKS.
> The kids love it!
> ...


Oh a gym membership sounds heavenly! I'm going to need something other than my boring treadmill this winter for sure.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> MW: it is a lot to go through for just a couple hours. The gym's daycare form is like 1/2 page and they do ask if your kid is up to date on their shots (but not a copy of the shot record) I just said, yup. (because on our schedule, which is 0, they are  )










I like that!

AFM - this feels so weird being home alone with just Finn! Nora is at school and Chris is in nyc. Knowing I can do whatever I want, even go for a run, is great! But all I want to do is sit on my butt! Ha!

I also wish my body would just freaking drop an egg already. Been having ewcm and O pains for days!! Temp still down this am. Tho, I'm not looking fwd to pms either... sigh.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> The daycare drop-off thing...meh. I'd probably go through the pain of getting the form filled out if it's a one time thing so I had the option to drop off the kids when needed. But going to DD's pedi isn't a hassle for me.


That's the thing. For most people it probably isn't much of a hassle because they take their kids for WBVs regularly anyway and they have immunization records. They also probably have their kids in school so they already have medical physicals. But for the people like me who truly don't want to put their kids in a daycare type setting, it is. Since I don't take my kids to the doctor for WBVs, I'd have to spend an entire day at the doctor's office to use the CDC a few times a year for things like this. The doc told me it would be 2-3 hours per kid since we've never done a full physical before. I don't want to use them anyway so it's not worth it.

yeah, kat, when it's asked but no documentation is requested, i just say they are up to date.









ok, nak, so can't type much. maybe bbl.

oh, no O. i started bleeding today.


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

Ha ha ha - I also say "yes" when asked in a random setting (ER, or emergicare) because according to ME they ARE all caught up! lol

MW - that's crazy about the daycare. Physicals?? I didn't even think they DID those until the teen years.

I hadn't gone to the doc it about 4 years with J. The ped was really really nice though.

It wasn't a very big deal, and I ended up not taking K or M because it was so pointless









Carrie - isn't it so weird when you have less people? It has been nuts since Jacinta started going to kindy. She loves it as well, so that helps.

I know I am forgetting something......

Oh yeah, AnnieA - it's crazy how opinionated Ava is! She sounds like such a smart little thing.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Annie ~ Ava is just too much!







I have not found that other booster seat yet. I'll keep looking.

annie ~ You're welcome.







I'm glad they were a hit. The book stuff sounds exciting. I don't know anything about blogs or how much is a lot of traffic. Are you getting paid for it? I have read about bloggers having agreements with advertisers to get paid every time someone clicks on the advertisers link from the bloggers page. It's supposed to be an easy way to make money.

JJ ~ Have you gotten your socks yet? They were mailed a while ago but I know it can sometimes take a while to get through Customs. I wish I could get tracking numbers for international packages but that's the one thing you can't get. Silly. Also kind of silly that shipping to Canada is international since it's right next door.

I think it's ridiculous for the CDC to ask for physicals for irregular drop-in childcare but I guess it's all the same whether you are going to use it like that or all day, every day. I have asked dh to check and see if they actually require that or if it's something that they request. There's the issue about whether or not they can legally require that info since it's confidential medical records. Hmmm

Dylan has been fussy for 3 days now. I don't know what is going on with him. He doesn't have a fever or any other signs of illness. Could it be more teething? I thought we'd get a break for a while after his first 4 molars came in. I haven't been able to do much of anything around the house because he won't let him put him down. My house is trashed. He's actually sleeping now. Way too early for his daily nap. Maybe it's a growth spurt. IDK but whew! I could clean but I think I'll knit instead.









I don't mind







but 3 weeks of ewcf with no O when I'm TTA is just not fair!

I told dh to get ready to be soused all weekend in Williamsburg.







We don't usually drink liquor drinks, either. That's why I thought it might be fun to try some while we're all together. That way money isn't wasted on a bottle of liquor that no one will drink.

What do we need for blue margaritas besides tequila? Is it sweet or sour? Salted or sugared?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Cheddar's Spicy Mango Mojito: Cruzan Mango Rum, fresh mint, lime. This is what I want to try. Yum! I'll bring stuff for this. IDK what makes it spicy, though. Maybe the rum is spicy even though it's mango flavored?


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Not sure what makes it spicy!! Hmm.
All you need is blue Curacao, margarita mix, and tequila. Salted rim bc the drink is sweet.
We are so turning this into a booze cruise!! Lol!!

I'm going to see if finns booster seat fits in the car and if so we will bring ours too.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I think it must be spiced rum. I love mojitos and I love mangos so this sounds so yummy.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I love liquor drinks, I get the stuff to make them at home when we do imbibe, because getting them out is so expensive. I love a chocolate martini. And russians. And mudslides. and grasshoppers . . . man I sound like a lush! but we only indulge on rare occasions - once every few months. And now I'm abstaining again. Drink for me, ladies!

Our favorite wines are a brand called Duplin. They are inexpensive, delicious cold or room temperature, and just the right sweetness. Also they are local to the Carolinas, I think.

Could Dylan's fussiness be related to AF? (hormones, less or slightly different tasting milk . . .)

DH is still a grouch. ugh.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Our favorite wines are a brand called Duplin. They are inexpensive, delicious cold or room temperature, and just the right sweetness. Also they are local to the Carolinas, I think.


Duplin Count is in NC. I don't like those wines. Too sweet for me.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Could Dylan's fussiness be related to AF? (hormones, less or slightly different tasting milk . . .)


IDK. Technically, it's just break-through bleeding, not AF, so I don't know if it's hormone related. KWIM? I have been worried about my milk lately, though. It seems to take longer sometimes to let down. All this being out and about and running around and eating solids out has interfered with our nursing and I don't like it.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I love liquor drinks, I get the stuff to make them at home when we do imbibe, because getting them out is so expensive. I love a chocolate martini. And russians. And mudslides. and grasshoppers . . . man I sound like a lush! but we only indulge on rare occasions - once every few months. And now I'm abstaining again. Drink for me, ladies!
> 
> Our favorite wines are a brand called Duplin. They are inexpensive, delicious cold or room temperature, and just the right sweetness. Also they are local to the Carolinas, I think.


I love white russians! They remind me of the holidays, probably b/c I always have them during that time of year. And I make eggnog with silknog and a bit of whiskey or southern comfort!

I'm so excited about Christmas this year! Tangent I know, but still -- I'm already getting very excited for thanksgiving and christmas. Tho I'm sure Finn is going to srsly knock the tree over!

My fave wine is a reisling. I've tried a bunch and I really haven't found one I don't like. Lately I've been buying Botabox boxed wine, b/c it's a better value for how much I drink! Talk about sounding like a lush, lol!

I will drink for you kat! No worries there!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I love sweet wines! and Reisling are awesome.

ah, just breakthrough bleeding? still . . . And yeah, all the solids and being out and about messes nursing up.

I am looking forward to the holidays - I love cooking and giving gifts. One of these years I am going to make a TurDucken (which I am sure there is no vegan equivalent of  ) more for the carnivores!

We will probably do a table tree, or get a tree shaped wreath to hang on the wall, and hang ornaments from it. Kid proof!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, Reisling...no. I can't drink that. Too sweet. I like dry wines and sour/tangy liquor drinks, like gin & tonic and salty margaritas. Mojitos can be sweet but don't have to be, which is why I like the idea of a spicy one.

Kellen picked a Mudslide for dessert when we were eating at Cheddar's the other night.









DH will actually be home for Christmas this year!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> DH will actually be home for Christmas this year!


Oh that's great!

I just thought of something. I HAVE to get these kids in for photos at JC Penney. I keep putting it off. I'm going to make the appt for this week or next!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Tenley's asleep, and her first stretch last nigth was 4.5 hours so I'm hurrying to get into bed- maybe it'll be another long one!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> JJ: good luck at the photo shoot! are you still taking doula clients? (I think IRC you are a doula? what else do you do professionally?)


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oooh cool! Yes I hope you get some swag!
> 
> ...


Trying  I'm having a heck of a time finding clients. I need to take some time and go out and put up some posters, drop off business cards, etc. Right now I only have ONE potential client. At all. Total. She's due in March, but won't be ready to commit until October. Ideally I'd like 2 clients a month for the first bit, and as Tenley grows up, work my way up to 4 clients a month, or even 5. I'm very lucky that we have lots of family and friends nearby, so I'm actually less worried about where Tenley will go during a birth than if I have to find care for her 5 days a week 7-4pm!

Previous to mat leave I worked Front desk at the Fairmont hotel here. Good work, and I don't mind going back to it, actually, but then yes, there's the child care issue, and what that does to our family life, especially since it takes an hour to get there by bus. So I'd probably have to leave the house at 6am, then DH would take Tenley to the babysitters for 730, then I'd get homr at around 430, they would be home shortly after, dinner, bath, bed. No time for us 

The photoshoot went well. Not nearly as long as I thought, which sucks. Tenley didn't cooperate as much as I thought she would, but I think we got some good shots. I brought home one diaper, and apparently we'll have a "goodie bag" waiting for us at the store when we go in on Monday (we have to sign the release). PS There's new diapers! I'm so excited to see more about them! That's all I can say. :X

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> The doc told me it would be 2-3 hours per kid since we've never done a full physical before. I don't want to use them anyway so it's not worth it.


WTF are they doing that takes 2-3 hours per kid? *blink blink*

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ Have you gotten your socks yet? They were mailed a while ago but I know it can sometimes take a while to get through Customs. I wish I could get tracking numbers for international packages but that's the one thing you can't get. Silly. Also kind of silly that shipping to Canada is international since it's right next door.


I haven't, but not that surprised! The mail does take a lot longer, but I've never had anything from the states get lost! *knock on wood*


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

hooray for good sleep! Norah slept well last night. Honestly, after crawling into bed with her and popping a boob in her mouth, I don't recall anything, and that scares me a little. we went to bed at 10ish, I woke up at 11:30, noticed DS was in bed, TV was off, DH was in his office, so I went back to bed. Norah continued to sleep until 5 or so and I nursed her a couple times, and she will hopefully sleep until 8-9.

DS, OTOH, woke up crying loudly twice, thankfully neither of which bothered DD. I wish DH would be less cranky when he goes in there. I might take that over, and have him deal with Norah.

JJ: Doula clients. IDK how anything works up there, but do any of the hospitals keep doulas on staff? One here does, the pay isn't fabulous, but at least it's regular. Or do any of the midwives have doulas on their staffs? Anyway to find out? that way you would have a way to have more regular doula-work.

And hooray for swag!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> WTF are they doing that takes 2-3 hours per kid? *blink blink*










IDK since I've not done. I think I asked about doing it with Ethan when he was 3 or 4. They gave me a thick packet to fill out with all kinds of "developmental" questions that I thought were ridiculous. I didn't go back for it.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> I haven't, but not that surprised! The mail does take a lot longer, but I've never had anything from the states get lost! *knock on wood*


Hopefully, you'll get them before Tenley grows out of them.









Kat ~ I've been having the same problem with my dh lately. I've been really getting on him about being grumpy with the kids when they are upset. It only makes things worse, not better. A lot of times I tell him to just let me handle it if he can't be nice about it.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> hooray for good sleep! Norah slept well last night. Honestly, after crawling into bed with her and popping a boob in her mouth, I don't recall anything, and that scares me a little. we went to bed at 10ish, I woke up at 11:30, noticed DS was in bed, TV was off, DH was in his office, so I went back to bed. Norah continued to sleep until 5 or so and I nursed her a couple times, and she will hopefully sleep until 8-9.
> 
> ...


Isn't that the way the world works? One child sleeps well, something else keeps you up!

The hospitals/midwives here don't hire doulas at all, it's all privately by the parents. There are a couple organizations that are bigger that work as co-ops, that I could look into, but then I have to go through a new training and certification process, which is a few hundred dollars, and then I have to work under their guidelines. Still considering it, but not wild about the idea.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah, I can't imagine. My physicals now take like... 30 minutes, but even as a kid and they were (what seemed to me) to be super involved, they were only 45 minutes or so. That was with all the spine, tummy, ears, eyes, throat, weight, height, reflexes, etc. I just can't imagine what else you'd check! lol Developmental questions seem silly, tbh. Like they think you might be hiding him away because he has severe developmental delays you're trying to hide or something? lol Crazy.

I'm sure I'll get them soon! Perfect time for winter!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I know they want you to answer the question and do the little tests with the child in the office. I can't take the packet home, fill it out and then go back another day. Idk why.







I'm not going to answer all those questions because that's not what I think doctors are for. I go to a doctor when someone is sick or injured and needs medical treatment, not to make sure my child is saying 10 words by 15 months or whatever it is and can draw a circle and put his pants on one leg at a time.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Yes exactly. I don't know, I guess maybe we're the weird ones, but if my child wasn't hitting developmental milestones, the pediatrician isn't the first person who would cross my mind. Maybe that's backwards? Or hey... you know... if I feel like I'm seeing delays, as a parent, I'd be smart enough to mention them at that point!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, I might go to the doctor if I needed a referral for something but only if I thought there was an issue. I don't go to the doctor so s/he can tell me if there's an issue like that with my child. Also, most of that developmental milestone stuff does not apply to our life anymore since my kids don't go to daycare or school. There isn't anything that they need to know or do by a certain age. So, even if the appointment only took 30 minutes, taking everyone to the doctor, waiting in the waiting room with sick people and then being crammed into a tiny exam room with germs everywhere is not something I want to do so I can use a childcare place maybe 3 times a year.

It turns out it's all moot for us, anyway. Ethan has a baseball game, and since we may miss the next Tuesday game, we don't want him to miss that one.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I think I'm in PMS mode w/o an O this month.









I'm picking stupid fights with DH, getting annoyed with him, etc. By day counting I'm due to get AF while we are away! Major bummer!! LOL!!

This week Finn has really started saying Uh Oh and it's the cutest thing! Nora never did cute babbling like that. She said words like cat and mama but she never did sing-songy intonations or "tricks". I didn't teach him it. He must have just picked it up! This morning he was up SO EARLY (630) laying there saying uh oh over and over again. Just saying it to himself. LIke practicing the sounds! Finally at 7 I just peeked at him and was like, Ok, we'll get up! It was cute.

He's running a low fever and is a hot mess today. Hopefully he feels better by our trip!

I was looking at the hotel again and OMG i cannot WAIT to get there, drop my stuff down, and RELAX!!!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I got in a stupid fight with dh today, too. The maintenance light came on the van so I said we needed to get whatever it is done before the trip. He was looking up stuff and got all dressed to change the oil. I asked if he was going to do anything else because, if not, I wanted to make arrangements to take it in on Monday to make sure it would be done in time. I think it needs the 90,000 mile maintenance and it's at 98,000 miles. He started going on about what he could do and that it would take a while because he'd have to order parts. I was like, "Ok, so are you going to do it or do you want me to just take the car in?" Again, an explanations of ordering parts and blah, blah, blah. Just a yes or no answer, please. Are you going to do it? He could not do that. OK, I tried a different approach. "Do you think it needs to be done before we go or do you think it could wait? Again, no answer. So, I try again, "What do you _want_ to do?" Answer: I don't know. Ugh! Make a freakin' decision. He throws his hands up and says, "Whatever. I don't care. Take it in." So I said, "Fine. I won't do anything. I guess it won't get done at all."







Hopefully, we won't get stranded on the side of the road while driving up there.

BTW, it's a timeshare resort rather than a hotel. That means there's not really maid service. We'll have to clean the dishes and rooms ourselves but it's not a big deal. Just vacuum and run the dishwasher whenever we need and as we are checking out. They take care of the bedding after we leave. But that does mean there isn't a restaurant or room service. There are activities, some free some with a fee. There's a children's pool, too, whatever that means.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I got in a stupid fight with dh today, too. The maintenance light came on the van so I said we needed to get whatever it is done before the trip. He was looking up stuff and got all dressed to change the oil. I asked if he was going to do anything else because, if not, I wanted to make arrangements to take it in on Monday to make sure it would be done in time. I think it needs the 90,000 mile maintenance and it's at 98,000 miles. He started going on about what he could do and that it would take a while because he'd have to order parts. I was like, "Ok, so are you going to do it or do you want me to just take the car in?" Again, an explanations of ordering parts and blah, blah, blah. Just a yes or no answer, please. Are you going to do it? He could not do that. OK, I tried a different approach. "Do you think it needs to be done before we go or do you think it could wait? Again, no answer. So, I try again, "What do you _want_ to do?" Answer: I don't know. Ugh! Make a freakin' decision. He throws his hands up and says, "Whatever. I don't care. Take it in." So I said, "Fine. I won't do anything. I guess it won't get done at all."
> 
> ...


MEN!!

Oh - yes thats fine. That's what I thought. I think that's better anyway with all of us coming and going, we can take care of our own messes and things.

We will probably go food shopping once we get down there for basics. Id rather cook than go out to eat that first night. The road trip is going to do me in, I'm calling it.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I'm planning to bring some food so we won't feel the need to rush out shopping that night. Hopefully, we'll have stuff for dinner and breakfast and maybe some snacks, whatever we have in the house.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I'm planning to bring some food so we won't feel the need to rush out shopping that night. Hopefully, we'll have stuff for dinner and breakfast and maybe some snacks, whatever we have in the house.


We'll bring snacky stuff. I'm not sure I can convince Chris to pack much more than that, he won't pack meal stuff. I know it.

He has the opportunity to go to Czech Republic in October. Oct 8-12 or 13. I gave him my full support -- it's just far! Idk. I'm not worried exactly. I just am like. Wow. Ok. Far.

Finn slept like crap last night. It's got to be teeth. He's watching Gabba Gabba while I have some coffee and try to wake up.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Oh man, so much to catch up on! I've been reading along but just now back on a PC. I hate typing on my Nook.

Christmas: Should be interesting this year. We have the big kids from when school lets out until the afternoon on Christmas Day. I have to work some though during that time (our busiest time of year and we are in lock-down so you can't take time off) but hopefully I can switch with someone that is kid-less so I can be home Christmas Eve. We have lots of traditions that we do. It will be interesting to see how Ava does with a tree. She's getting very good at remembering what is "For Ava" and what is "Not for Ava". I still haven't put locks on the kitchen cabinets. I've just told her enough times "Not for Ava" when she tries to open the one cabinet she can't go in and now she mostly avoids it. If I see her reaching for it, I just have to say "Not for Ava" and she leaves it alone.

I was telling DH about the convos regarding mixed drinks, etc for Williamsburg and he said something along the lines of "no wife swapping"...







I had to bite my tongue because I almost responded "MW doesn't even want to DTD w/her own husband much less w/you!"...I try to keep most of our convos on here just between us. It should be interesting to see the dynamic between the husbands. My DH has a quirky sense of humor and not everyone appreciates it!

I can appreciate why people would take their kids to the pedi first if they notice something off or even why the pedis ask developmental questions. Not everyone has been around little ones before and understand what's within tolerance and what may require intervention. I know we've talked about this before and we are not all in agreement about early intervention or intervention at all but having lived with my older brother all my life and witnessing his struggles and frustrations, that could have been greatly lessened by early intervention, I don't see the value in withholding it for issues that clearly need intervention. And there is also the group of people out there that need an authority figure (teacher, doctor, police officer, etc) tell them what's right and wrong in order for them to believe it. My DH's exwife is that way. Drives me crazy sometimes.

JJ, do you have a list-serve for a birth group or mama group? You could always post on there that you will do a couple of births for free just to get your name out there and gain experience. Also have you let your doula know? I am not currently taking on doula work but I get inquiries every now and again and I pass them along to other doulas that I know are working all the time.

AFM, Ava attended her first late night party last night and she did great! We went over to our friends' house and they have a 2 1/2 yr old so she had lots of stuff to play with. We played, had dinner, played some more and then she just hung out and played with the grownups after the 2 yr old went to bed. She did great! The mom remarked that if her 2 yr old was that quiet and calm, she would definitely be willing to have another. Ava loved having six grownups all to herself. She's such an attention whore!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I can appreciate why people would take their kids to the pedi first if they notice something off or even why the pedis ask developmental questions. Not everyone has been around little ones before and understand what's within tolerance and what may require intervention. I know we've talked about this before and we are not all in agreement about early intervention or intervention at all but having lived with my older brother all my life and witnessing his struggles and frustrations, that could have been greatly lessened by early intervention, I don't see the value in withholding it for issues that clearly need intervention. And there is also the group of people out there that need an authority figure (teacher, doctor, police officer, etc) tell them what's right and wrong in order for them to believe it. My DH's exwife is that way. Drives me crazy sometimes.
> 
> ...


Oh yes, very good distinction. If I thought something was up, then obviously I'd head to the doctor for a referral. I just don't think it makes sense for the Dr to be the one 'looking' for problem, kwim? They see them one day out of 365, so it's not a very good indicator, to me. But yes, when I see children who have obvious issues, and the parents decide to stick their head in the sand, that does drive me nuts.

I am part of a yahoo group for local birth, but it's very inactive. Like, one post every 2 months or so, and it's mostly other doulas, so very little chance of clients. I posted on there previously when I was attending births, and it's how I found my backup, but never any clients. And my doula isn't technically a doula, she's just attended a handful of births for friends, so she doesn't get any inquiries. I did think more about the co-op group though after writing about it in the last post. I think if we figure out the money thing and I don't have to go back to work, and money is still ok, then I might look into their 'training' and joining their group in a few months. My big thing was not wanting to put out the money, for something I'd rather do solo anyways... but... I could always do it for 6 months or so, gain some clients and word of mouth, and then maybe try to go solo again.

That sounds adorable with Ava. I love watching them grow up and get so social!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Oh yes, very good distinction. If I thought something was up, then obviously I'd head to the doctor for a referral. I just don't think it makes sense for the Dr to be the one 'looking' for problem, kwim? They see them one day out of 365, so it's not a very good indicator, to me. But yes, when I see children who have obvious issues, and the parents decide to stick their head in the sand, that does drive me nuts.


Yeah, it's one thing to have something obvious wrong with your child and do nothing and another to just not see the point in a well-visit or check up when you know everything is fine. I went to all the doctor's appointments on schedule with Ryan. He was my first and I followed all the "rules". I did a little less with Ethan and then a little less with Kellen and now almost nothing with Dylan.

Annie ~ I think you said your brother had speech issues, right? At least, you brought that up when I was discussing speech issues with Kellen. I don't know much about it directly, but according to a lot of people on my unschooling group, there's no real scientific evidence that any speech therapy actually works anymore than time and maturity. It's very possible that your brother wouldn't have been much different even with therapy.

I do have some experience with the kid who lives next door and speech therapy. I can honestly say that I don't see much difference/improvement in his speech other than what could be accounted for with growth. He still has the same issues he had before 2 years of speech therapy, just not as pronounced. I can tell that Kellen's speech has improved and is changing and another mom in my homeschool even commented on it after we got back from Virginia. I guess being away for so long made it more obvious rather than hearing it every day or week. You'll hear what I'm talking about this weekend.

On that note, I have a favor to ask you and Carrie. If I start to get obnoxious with my dh and say or do anything that makes the atmosphere uncomfortable, please kick me under the table or pinch me in the arm or give me a funny look.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I forgot to post why I came here in the first place. DH, Kellen and Dylan fell asleep so Ethan and I snuck back downstairs to chill for a bit. Dylan was driving me nuts nursing and then crawling around and then fussing and then nursing and flopping around and not settling. At the end, though, he nursed for a minute and then flopped upside down and crawled to the foot of Ethan's bed, babbled at himself for a little and then fell asleep.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Oh, and why is it called wife swapping? What about no husband sharing unless they are sharing child care?!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Hahaha! I like that MW! Too funny! Honestly, I don't think the guys know what they've signed up for here...AHAHAHAHA! I can't wait to see the babies together. It will be interesting to see how Ava reacts if she sees Dylan or Finn nursing. I've pretended to nurse her babies before and sometimes she will start to try to mimic them but then she starts laughing.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

With my brother's speech issues, it's possible that nothing would have been different in the long run but here's what we did observe. Jason is acutely aware that he doesn't "match" with most differently abled people. He doesn't physically look different than mainstream like say people with DS do. So by the time intervention was started when he was 7ish, he was aware enough to know that was making him "different" and he refused to cooperate in a lot of cases. He knew the signs they were teaching him but he didn't want to use them because then he looked different. I think if he had started learning ASL as a toddler, he may have been more conducive to using it. But maybe not. I do think that some of his inherent anger and frustration would notbe there if he had been able to communicate easier within our family at an earlier age. That would have shifted our family dynamic. But who knows for sure?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Annie - that's a good a point.

Early Intervention: I have several friends who love EI (and these are generally crunchy sorts of people) While some issues I think do fix themselves with time and exposure, I think it might just help ease kids into doing some things, so they don't feel so left out in a group, if it might help them participate and join earlier. I think kids notice differences earlier than we give them credit for. I think probably, if I were seeing a ped, they might have referred Gabe for speech. He is completely within the range of normal (but was slow to start, and didn't pronounce and still doesn't - "whole" words all the time. often its just part of words) But he is gaing words, clarity, and sentence structure by leaps and bounds lately. I was never really worried, but other people who are used to daycare kids (who talk earlier often out of sheer necessity) and those with older siblings, noticed and wondered sometimes.Also, the same kids that I know that see EI for speech, often also have some sensory processing issues, etc.

It will be interesting to find out how all the DH's do. DH reads along MDC sometimes (he is usually down in the spirtuality boards - but sometimes peeks in on posts I write) so he would have a little clue what he's getting into.

Norah tried really hard to latch on to a chest freckle (on me) the other day. It was really funny. She's still nursing - and we have about a month until her 1st birthday, at which point I think I will work a little harder at weaning. I really, really, don't want to tandem. I don't have the energy. If I weren't pregnant, I'd have no issue with her continuing nursing another year.

I ordered her birthday stuff!! I am so excited.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Hahaha! I like that MW! Too funny! Honestly, I don't think the guys know what they've signed up for here...AHAHAHAHA! I can't wait to see the babies together. It will be interesting to see how Ava reacts if she sees Dylan or Finn nursing. I've pretended to nurse her babies before and sometimes she will start to try to mimic them but then she starts laughing.


I think it's going to be so fun seeing the babies together and the older kids and the husbands. I'm already thinking mommy pedis and/or massage time out.








Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> With my brother's speech issues, it's possible that nothing would have been different in the long run but here's what we did observe. Jason is acutely aware that he doesn't "match" with most differently abled people. He doesn't physically look different than mainstream like say people with DS do. So by the time intervention was started when he was 7ish, he was aware enough to know that was making him "different" and he refused to cooperate in a lot of cases. He knew the signs they were teaching him but he didn't want to use them because then he looked different. I think if he had started learning ASL as a toddler, he may have been more conducive to using it. But maybe not. I do think that some of his inherent anger and frustration would notbe there if he had been able to communicate easier within our family at an earlier age. That would have shifted our family dynamic. But who knows for sure?


To me this is more an example of the problems with forcing a child to do therapy rather than a problem of when or how it was started. The therapy reinforced that there was something wrong with him and rebelled against that. Of course, I don't really know what was going on but that's my take on it.

I do ASL with my babies. It hasn't really helped Kellen communicate. He knows some sign language now but doesn't really use it unless it's an "I love you" sign back at me when I do it to him. There is a difference in interactions between me and dh. He gets much more frustrated with dh more quickly because dh doesn't take the time to try to figure out what Kellen is saying. He either just nods his head without really understanding or gets frustrated himself about not understanding. I take the time to stop what I'm doing and really pay attention and listen to Kellen and think about the context and what makes sense. I probably have a least a little bit of an advantage since I've been around Kellen a lot more than DH but, still, I think he could make more of an effort. That's a bigger problem than Kellen's speech and not doing therapy for it, imo.

I've talked to Kellen about it, too. There was a very short period when he was getting very frustrated that people couldn't understand him. I asked him if it bothered him and if he wanted to try to do something about it but he said he did not. He was fine and hasn't really gotten frustrated about it since then.







I do a lot of translating for him with everyone, which he appreciates.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Norah is saying words. I am shocked, as I am pretty sure that Gabe wasn't saying nearly as much. But she is the 2nd and a girl. so far she has Mama, dada, g'ma, water, no, banana, and those are just what I remember, and that she's said more than once. Oh, and Dog. She is doing everything, exept teething, earlier than Gabe did. If baby #3 does stuff even sooner, I am really in trouble. Independence has both its pros and cons.

I try not to translate for Gabe too much, unless the person he's talking to indicates they don't understand. I want to give Gabe the opportunity first to make himself understood, and I think it makes him want to try to to be clear more.

*yawn* not enough sleep. or enough coffee.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I try not to translate for Gabe too much, unless the person he's talking to indicates they don't understand. I want to give Gabe the opportunity first to make himself understood, and I think it makes him want to try to to be clear more.


I look to Kellen to see how he's reacting to not being understood and if he'd like me to help. We've been doing this long enough now that I can tell pretty quickly when he does. I think that's just part of being present and aware with your child. You know when they want to be left alone and when they would like some help. He's also able to tell me if he doesn't want me to interfere (although that's never happened).

Dylan is not talking or signing yet. He babbles sometimes but mostly just makes "uh" type noises and points. He understands the words and signs, though, because he'll nod his head if I say or sign something he wants. I've read stuff about later children talking later because there are so many people in the family to talk for them so they don't have to. It's not a bad thing. It doesn't affect speech development or cause problems. It just is (sometimes).


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I also think Gabe is really used to not being understood so he doesn't really care. (unless it's something he wants - general conversation stuff he is happy so long as you just nod and smile, LOL)

We translated for my sister for a long time. She has always been very stubborn at learning things she didn't care to be learning.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> We translated for my sister for a long time. She has always been very stubborn at learning things she didn't care to be learning.


I'm not sure what that means.







Maybe she just seemed stubborn because she couldn't say whatever it was anyone wanted her to say but felt bad that it was being focused on or forced on her.

I have periodically asked Kellen to make the sounds that he doesn't make. He will try once or twice and then quit. If I push, he gets upset and says he can't do it. He's not being stubborn. He truly cannot do it and doesn't like being pushed. It's a developmental and/or physical thing, not him just being stubborn or difficult.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Well, if you want her to do something, generally she doesn't want to do it. (simply bc you want her to - she will find a way around it 9 times out of ten) - I think she could probably speak more clearly if she had wanted to, but chose not to. Reading, she memorized books we read to her instead, to fool us into thinking she could read . . . she just has always chose her own path - which is fine, and generally a good thing. Except when she thinks that her way is best. I know I am just as frustrating about some things, and stubborn is def something we both have in plenty. She has always been a bit of an enigma to me, I just don't understand how she thinks.

Her sister in law homeschools her 4 children, one of which has some special needs/learning delays. But since her husband has been out of the picture due to being in rehab for PTSD, she has had to pick up alot of the working slack, and the homeschooling has shifted to largely be her parents' (my sister's MIL and FIL) responsibility. My sister, btaeing the educator that she is, just thinks her SIL should just put her kids in public school, that it isn't as evil as her SIL thinks it is. She glosses over the fact that there may well be valid reasons that her SIL doesn't want her kids in public school, or that public school may not be the best place for her kids. (And my sister was homeschooled for a number of years). I think she may have a heart attack when she sees how we plan on educating our kids, as it's not going to be on a regimented sort of homeschooling thing. I think we will largely fall on the unschooling side of things, at least for the first few years.

Anyway, I am trying really hard lately to find positive things to say to and about her, but it's very, very hard. She isn't a bad person or anything. We just have less and less in common as we get older, and we never had much to start out with.

I am so excited for the trip, even though I am stuck at home!

Pack people, and tell me what you are packing so I can live vicariously.

Finn, feel better, bc you need to enjoy the trip!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I am so excited for the trip, even though I am stuck at home!
> 
> ...


Yes and yes!

Not a lot of time, need to go forage some lunch, but I wanted to share these!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Well, if you want her to do something, generally she doesn't want to do it. (simply bc you want her to - she will find a way around it 9 times out of ten) . . . she just has always chose her own path - which is fine, and generally a good thing. Except when she thinks that her way is best. I know I am just as frustrating about some things, and stubborn is def something we both have in plenty. She has always been a bit of an enigma to me, I just don't understand how she thinks.
> 
> Anyway, I am trying really hard lately to find positive things to say to and about her, but it's very, very hard. She isn't a bad person or anything. We just have less and less in common as we get older, and we never had much to start out with.


Sounds like me.







A surefire way to make sure I don't do something is to tell me to do it.









The other day I told dh that I had a plan for getting the house organized. Each weekend we would work on one room and get it completely done. I added that that did not mean for him to jump up at 5 am on Saturday morning and start clapping his hands at me to get to work or I would do nothing. I have to tell him, not the other way around. Thank goodness he's usually pretty cooperative about that. hehe

I have the same issue with my stepsister. We introduced our parents and, afterward, she told her mom to marry my dad so we could be sisters. Now we really don't have anything at all in common. We started to grow apart when she hit middle school/puberty. She chose a different path from me. We get along when we see each other but that's only maybe 2-3 times a year. We don't talk or exchange chatty emails. We aren't close anymore.

JJ ~ Those pics are fabulous! She's so chunky!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

JJ: awesome pics! you don't put enough pics on facebook, LOL (I think it's all I do, is put pics of the kids on FB) Ten has gotten so big! Did you get some swag??

MW: yeah, telling me to do something doesn/t really help light a fire under my butt. She and I had a brief period of solidarity when she was in college and before I had kids - I would visit her in the dorms and we'd hang out. But we just have always been very different people, despite looking similiar. I will say that she makes a point of valuing my opinion on certain things (and not our mother's for some reason) and she trusts me with things she doesn't trust many people with. If she weren't family, it would be a relationship that I wouldn't put much energy into - and eventually would peter out. Our parents wish we were closer, but also understand why we aren't - they don't understand her very much either. I am sure that's frustrating for her, to be not understood by her family, but her IL's adore her, and she them - so at least that's something. DH often says he feels sorry for her husband, LOL, bc she is def the sort that wants to be catered to.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> I am so excited for the trip, even though I am stuck at home!
> 
> Pack people, and tell me what you are packing so I can live vicariously.
> ...


I'm totally going to start packing once I have the weather forecast! LOL!

I'm going shopping tmw tho for odds and ends. I'll post what I get! Ha!

He's better! Just TEETHING. OMG he was up every hour last night crying. CRYING. Then i finally get him to nurse and hit bit me! Ooooh I lost my patience a bit. I texted DH and told him one more rough wake up and he was spending the night with him!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ Those pics are fabulous! She's so chunky!


Yeah that!! She is really filling out! That last pic of her I see a lot of her mama in her face!

Oh - speech related -- Suddenly Nora is able to make the sc/sp sounds instead of f!! Fool is now school, fin is spin, fratch is scratch! So cool that it just happened on its own with no intervention what so ever!! It's an exciting thing for me and she's really excited too, I think she can tell she's saying things differently.

She is also now aware of she and her, and uses them correctly. We never corrected her. She just picked up on it. She knows she did, too, b/c she'll say, "See, I said hers instead of shes," and she's quite proud of herself.

omg i'm so tired. i just want to stuff my face with stir fry, put these knuckleheads in bed, and go to SLEEP.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I'm totally going to start packing once I have the weather forecast! LOL!
> I'm going shopping tmw tho for odds and ends. I'll post what I get! Ha!


What odds and ends?

I'm going to have twice as much luggage as normal because I think we're going to need hot and cool weather clothes. And then I'll probably pack their rain gear just in case and swimming stuff.

I won't start packing until Thursday, probably.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Snacks for the car, car ride distractions, detergent...

What alcohol is everyone bringing? I'll bring Riesling, whiskey. I can get blue Curacao too. Lmk.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

akind1, I can't wait to see Norah's 1st b-day stuff! I bet it's going to be so cute! She looks so much older than she is to me. She's tall right?

JJ, Tenley is just too cute! I love seeing pics of her! And don't tell the photographer but I think you do a better job than they did!









Packing...I just checked the weather and it's supposed to be low 80s the whole time. I just walked outside a few mins ago and it's cold! So definitely bring at least one pair of pants and a jacket for our Sat night thing because once the sun goes down, it's getting chilly! Remember, I'm bringing toys so don't go crazy with that stuff. Maybe some books for the older ones but I'm bringing Ava's book basket too so the babies will have books. Right now, weather.com says it's 66 degrees in Williamsburg right now.







There's only like a 10-20 % chance of rain every day at least right now so MW, you can probably be ok leaving the rain gear at home but your call.

I took Ava to the park this morning because the weather was so nice. There was a little boy there, maybe 2 yrs old and he did not like Ava for some reason. He kept saying "NO!" to her as he would walk by and at one point, he pointed at her and was kind of fussing/yelling? Ava wasn't bothered until the little boy's mom freaked out and was reprimanding him and then took him away and he was screaming. It kind of ruined her park time. She wouldn't really play after that and she kept watching that lady. She's very sensitive to other babies and people crying and I think she was pissed at that lady for making the little boy cry!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I'm bringing red wine. We have a bottle of tequila in the cabinet but it's been opened. Does alcohol go bad?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

We got some of that mango rum. It doesn't say it's spiced rum, though, so I'm still confused about how it makes spicy mango mojitos. Y'all don't have to worry about the tequila unless someone else really wants some.

Wine goes bad, or at least it starts to taste nasty if it sits too long after being opened. I don't know about liquor.

It hasn't been raining up there like here? It has rained almost every day, sometimes really hard, for the last 3 or 4 weeks. Planning for rain has become automatic. Virginia isn't that far away so I guess I was assuming the same weather. It's a little cooler up there. It's about 72 here now. It feels cold outside after getting used to 100+ temps.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

It's been raining a ton here too but it stopped yesterday and the forecast for the next ten days looks clear. Today was amazing. Not too hot slight breeze. Might be a bit chilly by the outdoor pools but no worries since there is an indoor pool. And judging by the pictures, I probably won't be able to keep Ava out of the giant bathtub if we have one of those in our units. That girl LOVES baths and showers!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Alcohol doesn't seem to, so long as the cap is on it tightly. We have kept ours and used it for a couple years at least.

I think Norah's on the tall side. She's about 30 inches. It's hard to get a length measurement on such a wiggle worm.

Chilly here this morning, wonderful!!!

I have the same days off as the trip (because I took them off back when we thought we could go) and I think we will work on potty training and other fun stuff.

DH had Gabe out running errands and stuff yesterday, and it wore him clear out. He fell asleep in the car around 6, and kept sleeping until 7 a.m. (brief wake ups for transfers and a diaper change, but went right back to sleep) - I could get used to that sort of schedule!

Norah is 11 months old today, and I will be 15 weeks tomorrow! OB appointment on Thursday.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

We got the socks today! They're gorgeous! I'll try to take a pic later on, and also do some more responding. We're trying to be productive today and go out and make our choices for the flooring/colors/cabinets etc for the basement. And I think I'm going to go spend money at Carters LOL


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Have fun spending money! and yay for more pics!


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

LOL - you guys are making me feel like a lush with your talk of "Liquor going bad"

Never have I had that problem









JJ - Holy crap! I couldn't believe that was Tenley. She has gotten huge!

I am so jealous of all you guys hanging out. You will have to take lots of pics

RE: Early Intervention.

After getting speech therapy for J, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. 
It really wasn't super helpful and a lot of the stuff I was supposed to work on myself. Which didn't happen









Besides that - a lot of the sounds she wouldn't even WORK on because J wasn't "mature" enough and the sounds were the "last to come in" 
I think *th* was one of them. Don't really remember.

Anyways, long story short, I think it helped a very very little amount.

Speaking of such things, school is going really well. 
K has always loved school (even when I homeschooled I sent her to a "homeschool academy" once a week which she really enjoyed) and J is following right along in her footprints. My DH went to pick them up from school the other day and J's teacher told him that she is doing really well and that she is "the most helpful and kind child in the class" 
At least she behaves for SOMEONE!









It is hard for me though. I almost feel guilty putting them in school....but between them WANTING to go so bad and loving it so much, I don't know what to do.

I think the parents attitude helps too. I don't push scores and what not.

I hope it helps at least.

When are you ladies getting together? This weekend?

It's really


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *annie2186*
> 
> LOL - you guys are making me feel like a lush with your talk of "Liquor going bad"
> 
> ...


I never have a problem with leftover liquor either...

Why do you feel guilty about sending them to school if they are thriving and love it? I'm asking honestly. I think that if your child is unhappy, falling behind, struggling, etc and as a parent we only continue sending them to school "b/c that's what you're supposed to do" then I can see feeling guilty. But, on the other hand, if you send them to school, they love it, you are involved with them and their education (doing things with them at home, part of the class, know the teachers, etc) then it's a good thing. This is just my opinion of course.

I feel like sometimes we have mama guilt over things we consider "not AP" enough. I try hard to let them go. Like when I use a stroller instead of wearing the baby. When it's easier, I use the stroller. When it's not, I don't. But sometimes I feel like, "gah, I shoudn't have him in this stupid stroller, he should be worn!!" and I have to shake my head at myself b/c it's stupid. Just do what works and makes us both happy.

Yes the trip is this weekend!!

Ok - so - for Kat and JJ and everyone else living vicariously...

I picked up 2 maze books, 1 coloring book, and 1 dvd for the kids to watch in the car. I got fruit snacks and pouches, veggie sticks, pretzels.

I just have to hit up the liquor store tonight I think. And then I'm set! Packing tomorrow!!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

annie ~ That's what I've heard from everyone (like maybe 3 or 4 people so you know it's definitive







) that I know who has had their child in speech therapy. It doesn't really make much difference. I have heard from other parents, unschoolers, who say their child was or would have been referred to speech therapy but they weren't interested and the child was fine with time and maturity. So, the big question is whether or not it's really necessary. I can see how school people would think it's necessary because they need kids to generally be on the same level in order to follow the curricula but that doesn't mean that the individual child needs it. KWIM?

I agree with Carrie about school and I'm very anti-school.







If your children like it and are doing well and the rest of the family is happy with it, don't feel bad. Maybe just always keep it as a choice (mostly to make yourself feel better because then you aren't forcing them). Even hardcore radical unschoolers say it's ok for kids to go to school if they choose to and know they have the choice to stop whenever they want.









We've never had a problem with liquor going bad but that's mainly because we don't drink it much. When we have it, it goes fast.







I don't think liquor does go bad, though. It's a natural disinfectant, right?

Yes, it's this weekend. Only two more days!







I'm so excited!

I keep flip-flopping back and forth between starting to pack today and waiting. I don't like to pack too early. I usually start the day before leaving and finish up with last minute toiletries and what-not the day of. But I have a diaper meet and swap to go to tomorrow morning, Ethan has a baseball game in the evening and Sean won't be home until after 9 pm because he has to go to a town hall meeting. I feel like I should start today so I'm not rushing around tomorrow and Friday morning and Sean doesn't have to stay up half the night Thursday but every time I try to start I get confused about what to pack and what not to. Aaargh! I'm such an idiot about that sort of thing.

Dylan fell asleep in his high chair while eating lunch today. I successfully cleaned up his pizza face and transferred him to the bed without waking him. I didn't get to nurse him, though, and now my breasts are feeling funky. I just got that let down feeling and it kind of hurt. Carrie, are you bringing your pump?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Annie - ITA - if the kids love it and are thriving, and you are involved -it's a win. I do like the idea of letting them know that the option to school from home is always open to them if they choose it (assuming it is)

I think Gabe would like school. He loves his kindermusik class. I mostly really don't like the schools here, or how they learn - it's so much teaching the test. I want my kids to learn to think for themselves, to research and develop their own opinions, and the schools here (or the teachers who teach in them) don't do that. I've been thinking a lot about why we send kids to school, and I think it's been so ingrained in us (for hundred of years) that we aren't capable of teaching them at home, that there are things out there that other people are more qualified and more apt at teaching our kids that they NEED to learn, and that premise is so . . . I don't know . .. it undermines my abilities as a parent, and I don't like that. Yes there are things I am not capable of teaching (like German or advanced Physics . . or how to play the tuba.) but I can ways for my kids to learn these things inside or outside a typical classroom environment that might be better.

But I know people whose kids love school, and are ok. and that's great! it's like anything we choose as parents - I know fully vaxed, on schedule kids that appear to be perfectly healthy and have had no problems. I know formula fed babies that rarely get sick. I know people that use strollers, crotch danglers (honestly I would rather see a baby in a stroller than a crotch dangler), drag infant bucket seats everywhere, do various forms of CIO, spank . . . and their kids are mostly ok. I also know really crunchy people (organic food, less or no vaxes, etc) whose kids are constantly sick, chaotic in public spaces, etc . . . so I try not to judge too much. (But am thankful for my very healthy, breastfed, non vax kiddos who are generally well behaved, and when they aren't they are still stinking cute).

Packing - sounds like fun! I usually pack the day before, the things that can be - clothes,etc, and do toiletries the day of.

One month until Norah's party! woot!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I've been thinking a lot about why we send kids to school, and I think it's been so ingrained in us (for hundred of years) that we aren't capable of teaching them at home, that there are things out there that other people are more qualified and more apt at teaching our kids that they NEED to learn, and that premise is so . . . I don't know . .. it undermines my abilities as a parent, and I don't like that. Yes there are things I am not capable of teaching (like German or advanced Physics . . or how to play the tuba.) but I can ways for my kids to learn these things inside or outside a typical classroom environment that might be better.


This is pretty much how I feel. The difference is that I think of it as learning rather than teaching. Teaching, itself, is a bit of a myth. Yes, you can get a child to memorize information for a test (or maybe not no matter how much you try to teach him), but is that true learning? A person will only truly learn something if they really want to and they don't need to be taught for that to happen. My children weren't taught to read. They didn't teach themselves how to read. They learned to read on their own. Same with everything else. They learned to walk and talk and eat solid food and use the toilet and cut their own food and on and on.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

ugh mamas. Having a really hard day. Waiting for Rob to get home in the next 20 minutes or so, and then I'm handing Tenley over and hiding somewhere until bedtime. I'm going to freaking lose my mind. Send patient and peace my way? Right now I feel like throwing something. Perhaps myself.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> ugh mamas. Having a really hard day. Waiting for Rob to get home in the next 20 minutes or so, and then I'm handing Tenley over and hiding somewhere until bedtime. I'm going to freaking lose my mind. Send patient and peace my way? Right now I feel like throwing something. Perhaps myself.


HUGS!

I hope he's home already! Get out of the house when he gets home. Srsly. Pass him the baby and go OUT. Get a coffee, an iced tea, something! Thinking of you!!!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Jj: sorry you are having a rough day. Get out of the house!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> ugh mamas. Having a really hard day. Waiting for Rob to get home in the next 20 minutes or so, and then I'm handing Tenley over and hiding somewhere until bedtime. I'm going to freaking lose my mind. Send patient and peace my way? Right now I feel like throwing something. Perhaps myself.


Ha! Funny you should post this because the whole time I was driving home from baseball practice I was thinking this is one of those days when I feel like I might drop my basket (in case you get the movie reference). I feel you! We got home and sent everyone to separate bedrooms and no one is allowed to talk to me except Sean. Lucky for everyone else he got home at exactly the same time we did so he's intervening.

I hope you got some relief.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Thanks guys. It was one of those that just... wasn't any different than the last three weeks have been, but I'm just so... spent. So absolutely done. *sigh* He came home and has been taking care of Tenley all night, so I showered (alone! And for as long as I wanted!) and then I spent time putting on lotion and repainting my toenails and finger nails. Then I came and nursed her, and then went and picked up a couple grocery items. Then came home, and I've been prepping dinner and doing some light clenaing while ignoring that my husband and daughter exist. Oh, and I made myself a concoction of triple sec, 7 up and cranberry juice. It's working. lol.

It's just really wearing on me spending a total of like 4 hours trying to get her to sleep, when she then proceeds to wake up every 45 minutes, regardless of what we do. At night, it's not as big a deal, because I just sit and read or whatever while she's settling, but during the day, she'll sit there and play and whine alternately for over an hour, while getting increasingly moody because she's tired. And she won't even nurse to sleep anymore either, even when I try to. Add in her refusal to nurse properly during the day (which I know, is normal, but annoying), and shriek anytime I have to change her, and amillion other things that are totally normal for her age, but totally hard to deal with on 5 hours of broken sleep.... one tired mama. I just need to sleep so badly. Like so badly, I'm starting to wonder if I need to just take at least one night and make DH go to her and do whatever it takes during the night, just so I can sleep once. It's times like this I really, really, really, wish she would take a bottle. She's been taking water in the sippy cup, so I might try tomorrow to pump a bit of milk and see if she'll take that out of the sippy at naptime.

Tomorrow I'm going to pop Ten in the Boba and go to the mall in search of a bday gift for my niece. And then I think I'll splurge on some yummy fast food and... I don't know. Maybe hit the library on the way home or something.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Thanks guys. It was one of those that just... wasn't any different than the last three weeks have been, but I'm just so... spent. So absolutely done. *sigh* He came home and has been taking care of Tenley all night, so I showered (alone! And for as long as I wanted!) and then I spent time putting on lotion and repainting my toenails and finger nails. Then I came and nursed her, and then went and picked up a couple grocery items. Then came home, and I've been prepping dinner and doing some light clenaing while ignoring that my husband and daughter exist. Oh, and I made myself a concoction of triple sec, 7 up and cranberry juice. It's working. lol.
> 
> ...


Glad you got some relief! There were days when I soooooo looked forward to going to work just so someone else had to deal with DD for a few hours. Are you against giving her motrin or something at night? If her teeth are bothering her, sleep is going to be for crap. Also, with Ava, I started taking her out every single day. Even if it was just to go somewhere that had lots of people so she could people watch while I walked. I've discovered she settles a lot better when she's had lots of input. Even the grocery store is enough sensory input for her. Also, we had to start turning the TV off in the evenings. My DH HATES that but oh well. It was amping her up, even if she wasn't watching it. So it gets shut off after 5 PM until she goes to bed. We also do lots of water play. At least 20-30 mins in the morning in the shower and then 20ish minutes in the bathtub at night.

Big hugs. I've sooooo been there. And some days, it made it worse to fight her w/naps. I would just give up and let her play. While I laid on the floor and napped. Anything to survive!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Packing...yeah I need to get on that. I need to do some laundry too. I'm not packing for DH or the big kids. I'm putting folded piles of clean clothes in their rooms and giving them parameters. They can handle the rest. I do need to start getting the toys together to bring. My mom is going to come take Ava for a couple of hours Friday morning so I can get the rest of the packing done.

So I went to look for that bottle of tequila. I sure hope we took it to a friend's house one time because it's gone. I need to ask DH if he remembers what happened to it. Otherwise...who knows? I know that DH and I didn't drink it.

School stuff...I think if the kid is enjoying it, why not? If it's a struggle at all, then I think it's totally ok to look for alternatives. I have no clue what we are going to do when Ava hits school-age. Right now, I'm thinking no to traditional school at least for the first couple of years. We'll see.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Jj, hugs!!! I have more to say, but I'm on my phone so i will in the am. Just know i think you should try taking a night for yourself. It'll be amazing.

I have a huge bottle of tequila. It's not even half gone. Don't buy any!!! I'll just bring mine!!
Lol that it's missing tho. Ha!

Sleep sucks here!! I hope our weekend isn't to effed up with bad sleep!!

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Last night SUCKED. Omg. In his defense he had a fever and is working on huge developmental things, but still. Buddy, I can't be awake from 230 til 5! That just isn't going to cut it! Sigh, I really hope this breaks and we get a reprieve while we are away.

He was calling for Dada so I brought him to Chris at 5 (who had to get up at 6 to catch a train for the city) and then slept. Slept til 615. Then I went up with him in Chris's bed and we both slept til 830. So. And coffee helps! Now somehow I need to gather courage and patience to go to BRU (looking for a cheapy umbrella stroller for the trip), food store, and I think that's it. And then PACKING!

Finn is running a slight fever (99-100) but honestly I don't know if it's teething or viral. He's just really grumpy so I think it's teething. We are still ON! Hope that's ok with you guys (I know it is, but in essence of full disclosure...)


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I'm right there with you Baby_Cakes but we are not going to attempt a trip to BRU! We were supposed to meet a friend at the petri dish er, coffee shop, this morning but I messaged her at 4:30 AM that it wasn't going to happen. No fever on our end but tons of snot. I've been suctioning, feeding Hyland's Tiny Cold tablets and probiotics w/vit D. Plus fluids. That's all I can do. Ugh.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> So I went to look for that bottle of tequila. I sure hope we took it to a friend's house one time because it's gone. I need to ask DH if he remembers what happened to it. Otherwise...who knows? I know that DH and I didn't drink it.










My DH saw red when he came back from his last deployment (I think it was) because his very expensive bottle of Irish whiskey from Ireland was empty. I don't drink that stuff so it must have been Ryan. What's funnier (to me) is that dh doesn't drink it, either, so I have no idea why he bought or why he'd be mad that someone else drank it. What's the point in having a bottle of liquor if no one is supposed to drink it?

Annie ~ We cannot find that extra booster seat. Another thing that was put away and has disappeared.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I haven't been able to find teething strips locally and all the teething tabs have lactose in them around here. So maddening! I love homeopathics but hate they use milk sugar for practically all.

MW - do you want me to bring my pump? Should I bring bags/bottles/flanges etc? Or do you have medela ones you'll use? I don't mind! I may just have to dig around for the charger.

AFM - long day here. I'm kind of sad b/c Finn really isn't himself, he's very feverish and miserable. I hope some of his sunny personality is able to shine thru during our trip, even if he is out of sorts w/teething and fussiness.







I couldn't even put him down today, he wouldn't nap off of me, just been crying unconsolably all day. Sigh. I'm so beat.

I hope I get sleep tonight! I'll be up late packing tho b/c I barely got anything done. At least we went to BRU and got a stroller (cheap! $29!) some snacks, pouches, etc.

Hoping to leave in the am before 11. We shall see!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No problem. DD has been having...issues with the highchair. The best thing has been for her to sit on my lap or we do a picnic on the floor. Should be interesting.

I seriously don't know what happened to that tequila. I have a vague memory of moving it because it was in a lower cabinet and it was a glass bottle but I've looked in my kitchen and it's not there. We have a "hider" in our house...won't name names but she likes to hide stuff and it's not Ava. It could just be hidden somewhere.

Sorry you had such a tough day Baby_Cakes! Ava has been a mess too. Hopefully they will have fun with each other!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I'm hoping there will be enough going on that he will be distracted into a good mood!!

How many diapers are y'all bringing? Ballpark?

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I'm bringing my six BGs, 3 GroVias, and probably all of my Flips minus whatever DD has on in the car. I will probably leave my PFs at home. Planning to do at least one load of dipe laundry because I'm going to bring the dirties from tomorrow with me. I don't want to leave them at home. They would be super gross!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ Maybe it's that Wonder Week thing Annie had mentioned. Dylan was like that all last week, constantly fussing unless he was sleeping or nursing. I could not put him down.

I'll probably bring just about all my dipes. Not my PFs, though. I'm planning to throw them in the wash tonight and dryer in the morning if we aren't up to dry them tonight. I need to do more packing. We just got home from Ethan's baseball game.

I'm tired and dh isn't home yet.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Kat ~ Do you any of these yarns appeal to you for Gabe or Norah? I'm pretty sure I have enough of any of them for Norah but maybe not for Gabe. I definitely have enough of the 2nd and last for Gabe but not sure they are ok for an older boy.









If you want to wait, I've got some of this that I'm going to make a pair of socks for my mom with and I could use what's left for Gabe.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Wow, it's amazing what I can accomplish in a short amount of time when I don't have my little shadow going behind me undoing everything! Since I got home from work I've packed the toys and books for the babies, most of our clothes, most of the dry goods I'm bringing and all the clean dipes I'm bringing. But I left my phone at my office so I have to go get it tomorrow. Boo. Will finish packing while Ava is with my mom in the morning. Can't wait for vacation!!!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

MW: I love the first one, and Gabe isn't really picky (I love that - he's just happy with soft things). Do you need foot measurements? I know Gabe is pretty much is a size 9, and Norah in a 4, but will have to tackle them to get inches.

Happy packing and traveling, ya'll! can't wait to see pics!

Playdate here this morning, and whatever else we can think of that is free/cheap.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> MW: I love the first one, and Gabe isn't really picky (I love that - he's just happy with soft things). Do you need foot measurements? I know Gabe is pretty much is a size 9, and Norah in a 4, but will have to tackle them to get inches.


Ok, I'll have to see what I can do. That's the one I have the least of so I seriously doubt it's enough for Gabe but should be just enough for Norah. Length and width measurements would be helpful but not necessary. I've been using a standard size chart that seems to work well. At least, everyone is telling me the socks fit.


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Ok, I'll have to see what I can do. That's the one I have the least of so I seriously doubt it's enough for Gabe but should be just enough for Norah. Length and width measurements would be helpful but not necessary. I've been using a standard size chart that seems to work well. At least, everyone is telling me the socks fit.


The socks really do fit like a charm!

M especially just loves them - its hilarious. Anytime she has a chance she puts them on







Thanks again!

Thanks guys for the reassurance about school. 
It's honestly NOT about AP. I was an AP before I knew it was "cool" so to speak and I really haven't been affected by "is this AP enough?" Honestly I hardly ever wear A. I did when she was a baby and it was convenient and when we are out and about and she desperately needs a nap, but other than that it is stroller all the way! LOL

I have a bad back!









I think it is just the fact that I was homeschooled and I DO love the tight knit family part of it, etc. I just don't know what it is.

All my kids know that staying home and being homeschooled is an option - so I guess we will just have to see!

Sorry to all you mama's getting your booty kicked by babies. I am also one of them. Arianna has been Srsly hard to deal with lately! **This to shall pass** has been my mantra!

Love you guys! Have a blast hanging out together for me


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

So far, Ava and I are having a blast! My DH and big kids weren't able to come (long story involving the exwife that I don't need to go in to on a public forum) but we are going to enjoy our vacation anyways. Baby_Cakes and her family haven't arrived yet. Ava was having such a good time with MW and her boys. K was very curious about my breastpump. He said it made a funny noise and squished my boob...hahahaha! Can't wait to explore the resort area tomorrow. Just realized I forgot my knitting stuff. I was going to get MW to show me how to knit a blanket. Boo!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Annie, I don't wear Ava all the time. She likes riding in her stroller now and waving at everyone. Someone the other day said she looked like a little queen riding in her carriage. Ha! She's such a nutter!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Keep updating us! I've been thinking about you guys all day! Looks like Carrie should be almost there!

Had a semi-productive day. Got about 1/3 of Tenley's glider recovered. Ooooh it's going to be so nice! We also had a family birthday party, which tuckered her out, so I think she might sleep well tonight. I'm staying positive. She went down fairly easily for her morning nap today, and for bed.

Rob had today off, plus tomorrow and Sunday, so we're trying to get lots accomplished. Also-- tomorrow evening I volunteered for this restorative yoga thing for a mama from my AP group. She does a yoga session with us, and then takes photos, and it's supposed to be about body awareness and well... restoration etc. lol I'm just SO EXCITED because it's going to be 2+ hours of ME ME ME time. DH is staying home with Tenley. I need this SO badly, so the fact that it's a favor for her and free, is even better! (She's doing certification to be a teacher).

Hmmm. I stripped my diapers. That was exciting. lol. No, actually... it was. They smell so nice!

Ok, I think it's time to head to bed. Remind me I need to post the picture of Tenley's socks tomorrow!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Oh and E told me that I'm pronouncing MW's name wrong...haha! I love kids. They keep you straight! Ava had a little too much fun going to bed in the big "hotel" bed. She kepting bouncing on the pillows and flopping around. She finally settled and she's so tirex she's barely moved!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ ~ Mommy yoga time sounds so nice. A friend of mine recently moved back to my area and is teaching yoga. I so wish I could take some of her classes.

We're having a good time, too! The boys are having tons of fun getting to know everyone. Nora has been wanting to play with "baby Dylan". So sweet. I need to watch Dylan with the other babies because he gets a little too excited, I think. I don't think he's upset or angry and trying to hurt anyone. I think he's just trying to play the way he sees his big brothers play.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

#head effing explodes#

Had a really long, stressful night, up every 45 minutes- every hour, etc etc. Got up this morning, DH let me "sleep in" a bit (ie I laid in bed and listened to Tenley screeching at the tv while he played on the computer.) And then we tried to get her down for a nap, since she was showing obvious signs of being tired. I nursed her, cuddled her, she was arching her back out of my arms, so I put her down and rubbed her back, sang to her, etc etc on and on, all the normal stuff. After 30 minutes I left the room for a break, and DH went in. As typical, he turned the light on, and starts talking to her. Then he brings her out of the room and walks around the house with her. Obviously it's not working and she's not getting any sleepier.

Anyways, so he made some comment related to the idea of needing to get her to sleep somehow, and I said something to the effect of "yes, put her in her crib. I can't do this anymore, and she needs to learn that it's naptime and she needs to sleep." ((No, not my finest moment, but I'm coming from an exhausted not so emotionally pleasant place right now, and unfortunately, it's the truth- I just can't do this anymore with her not sleeping.)) He replied with something about how that's not a good idea, (which yes, true, but again, not so great emotional state right now). And I said, very calmly and honestly, that We needed to do something, because I felt like throwing myself off a bridge.

My darling, wonderful, empathetic husband's response? (whom I spent two YEARS pulling out of a deep depression at the beginning of our relationship)

"Well then go jump off a bridge." And he walked away.

And... he doesn't get why I'm not talking to him right now.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Huge hugs JJ. I've so been there at the end of my rope when Ava was waking every 45 mins at night and not napping during the day. Some days the only thing that kept me from just putting her in the crib and walking away was she doesn't have the fourth side on her crib! I know you don't think it's teething but if I could go back in time to when Ava was doing the exact thing, I'd be dosing her with motrin and busting out the orajel. And your DH is being an ass. I'd not be inclined to speak to him either!


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Huge hugs JJ. I've so been there at the end of my rope when Ava was waking every 45 mins at night and not napping during the day. Some days the only thing that kept me from just putting her in the crib and walking away was she doesn't have the fourth side on her crib! I know you don't think it's teething but if I could go back in time to when Ava was doing the exact thing, I'd be dosing her with motrin and busting out the orajel. And your DH is being an ass. I'd not be inclined to speak to him either!












A has been driving me insane as well. Like complete bonkers. Grrrrrr

I'm totally used to my husband driving me insane. Just pretty much ignore that at this point.

Hope the rest of you are having a good vacation!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ. I'd be so mad at my dh if he said something like that to me. I don't know what to say that might help you other then to stop trying to shard to get her to sleep and find a way to get yourself some rest instead. I have found that once I stop fighting a situation I'm not happy with and just accept it for what it is, things almost immediately get better. I wish I was there to help you.

I agree with Annie about trying the ibuprofen or acetaminophen. Whenever my babies have been inconsolable and not sleeping and I think to try that it helps. They can be in pain for all kinds of reasons that we may not recognize. If it helps everyone get more sleep, it's worth it.

We've been having lots of fun. I'm exhausted. I just want to soak in the hot tub but dh has gone to the store. Maybe while he's making dinner or afterward I can go over there for a bit. My body needs a good, hot soak.

Ethan just asked if "Cahrrie" was back yet. He's getting kick out of her New Joisey accent.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Ooooh! Make time for the hot tub for sure. I just did a soak today. <3

Oh, she is teething again now, but even when she's dosed with tylenol and advil, and had teething tabs, she still wakes every 45 minutes, no difference.

I've tried just 'accepting it', but it really doesn't work. I'm glad that it does for some people, but not here.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

It's hard all around. You can either go with it or fight it. Going with it works better for me. At least in my head I feel better even if the circumstances haven't changed.

Dylan is still up now. It's midnight. He's kind of fussy, wants to nurse and then doesn't and then does and then doesn't. If I tried and tried to get him to sleep and he didn't go to sleep, I would be extremely frustrated. If I just hang out and respond to what he wants and wait, he will eventually fall asleep, I won't be frustrated with the fact that my expectations aren't being met, and we will both sleep.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

The thing that helps me the most, especially with sleep stuff or general fussiness, is that it won't last forever. Even the good stuff won't last forever. They keep changing and growing and something new will crop up. I see that all the time with my big kids. Dylan was so funny earlier when I was getting ready for bed. He kept wandering over to laugh and play even though no one was up any more. Didn't phase him a bit that all the lights except for the one over the stove had been turned off. Hahahaha!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, he's a night owl. We are usually in bed by 10 pm at home but we're on vacation so staying up later. We just got up maybe 20 minutes ago. It's not quite 10. Ethan was up until 1 am because he doesn't like to go to bed without me. He's still sleeping. It's all good to me as long as everyone sleeps. But, then, even when we're home we don't have a schedule to keep.

The thing is that no matter how much you fight whatever it is, you can't really force it. A baby will eat and sleep and poop when he is ready, when his body is ready regardless of how much time and energy and effort you put into trying to make it happen when you want.

JJ ~ Could you set something up so you could put her down to play while you rest/sleep? Or does she fuss the whole time if you try that?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

JJ, hugs. I have no advice really. I have DDC friends that are still struggling with hourly wake ups. It's tough. And won't last forever. The more energy you spend struggling, the more tired you tend to feel. Especially lately that Norah isn't nursing as much, if she isn't falling asleep and I am getting frustrated, I pass her off to DH, and most of the time that does the trick, she falls asleep, I get to calm back down.

I wish I were with you guys! It looks like so much fun! But have had a non productive, relaxing stay cation instead.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> But have had a non productive, relaxing stay cation instead.


That's always nice.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Back to the real world...







At work, Ava is at the babysitter waiting to be picked up by DH and my house is destroyed. But vacation was awesome and totally worth it. It was so great to be able to just relax with everyone. I loved how the babies and the big kids would just wander back and forth between the units. Sometimes I would look around and Ava was gone. I'd find her over in the other unit watching TV with Sean and Ethan.









JJ, I hope you've had a better couple of days. I was battling some sleep stuff again with Ava over the weekend. I knew she needed to nap but she was so amped up that she had a hard time settling. What really helped for me was setting a time limit in my head. For instance, yesterday I tried to put her down for a nap at 1 PM. I told myself I would give her until 1:30 to settle. When 1:30 came around, I said forget and we went back out in the living room. I finally got her down at 3 and she slept until 4. And I slept with her. It's hard when you've had so many days or weeks of little to no sleep and then you finally get the baby to sleep and you feel like you need to be productive since you have a few minutes to yourself. DON'T!!! Take a nap! It's your "rest and be thankful" time. The cleaning will eventually get done. If Ten is asleep, mama needs to be asleep!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

We made it home! To rain and tornado watches or warnings or whatever.









It was fun and relaxing even though we went out every day. I was exhausted but felt good every evening when we got back. I really enjoyed being able to sit and talk to you guys, Carrie and Annie, and meeting Chris and the kids/babies.

JJ ~ It occurred to me, I know you are extremely sleep-deprived but could you also being having issued with PPD? It can show up slowly or later. That might be something to look into if it might help you deal with the situation with less stress.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Pics have been posted!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

It looks like you all had a great time! It totally needs to be an annual event so I can come too next year! and maybe JJ? I don't care where, but I want a vacation, and I am planning on one next year!

16 weeks today, and woke up with a migraine. UGH


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> It looks like you all had a great time! It totally needs to be an annual event so I can come too next year! and maybe JJ? I don't care where, but I want a vacation, and I am planning on one next year!
> 
> 16 weeks today, and woke up with a migraine. UGH


Migraine sucks! I hope it gets better.

Yes, we should try to make this an annual event. I was already thinking on the drive home about planning the next vacation for us. Maybe the next one should be in Canada. I've never been. If JJ's dh won't come to us, we'll go to him. hehe

Home, sweet home. There is a ton of cleaning to do. I don't know where to start. I probably won't.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I have a babywearing meeting at my house Friday night . . . I really need to clean. Joy. But that's why I am having it - it forces me to do what i really don't want to, but need to do!

We need passports to get to Canada no? Much as I'd love to go, I'd rather stay on this side of the border, so I don't have to add the expense of passports to vacation :bag: I do want to go to Montreal sooooo bad! DH has one, I did have, but it's long since expired. the kids would need them (all three) . . . any good vacation spots within a reasonable travelling distance for JJ?

The big coffee is helping.

A friend of mine - more of an acquaintance - is going to watch the kids for a couple hours Friday so I can go to my eye appointment . . . I hope they do ok! she's a crunchy mama too, so I am not worried about leaving her with cloth diapers, etc. She's also very reasonable - $10 for 2 kids for 2 hours. Norah will be fine, it's leaving Gabe that's a concern. He's so clingy. Maybe it will be good for him? I can hope!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

The cleaning. Oh my god, the cleaning. I knew it was a long shot to expect the house to look better than it did when I left it but I was entirely unprepared for the disaster area I came back to. I'm slowly working on it but Ava is super bored now so she's following me everywhere. :/ I'd love for it to be an annual thing. I looked last night to see if Chicago was a reasonable driving distance from JJ. Nope. Still 14 hrs. Canada is big!  Maybe if everyone started saving a bit here and there, we could rent a beach house? Although the timeshare setup was super convienent.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I have SO MUCH CATCHING UP TO DO! OMG.

I didn't have my laptop in VA so I missed a bunch of posts.

Hugs to JJ!! Mama, hang in there. You are such a trooper and what your DH said to you was out of line. I'm with Alysia. If you don't get some rest and some me time soon, I'm afraid ppd might be creeping in on you. Especially these latest thoughts -- not liking hearing you say things about ending your life or not wanting to be around Ten or your DH. It's a huge red flag to me. ((hugs)) I think it's about more than just sleep. If you feel like you are drowning, can't seem to tread water, your DH isn't being supportive, etc...these are all factors in our mental health. Sleep is one thing but I feel like if you could rest, nap, get some time by yourself, ENJOY yourself, enjoy home life, sleep would be less of a burden. Does that make sense?










Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> It looks like you all had a great time! It totally needs to be an annual event so I can come too next year! and maybe JJ? I don't care where, but I want a vacation, and I am planning on one next year!
> 
> 16 weeks today, and woke up with a migraine. UGH


We did have a good time! It was so fun!

We were talking about doing it annually. I think that would be awesome! And yes somewhere where everyone can go!!

Blah to migraine. Hooray for 16 weeks! Are you feeling baby flutters yet?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Home, sweet home. There is a ton of cleaning to do. I don't know where to start. I probably won't.


There is too much cleaning! It's already 11:15 and all I've done is have coffee, feed Finn, and eat a snack. And watch TV. Still in vacation mode, I think!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> The cleaning. Oh my god, the cleaning. I knew it was a long shot to expect the house to look better than it did when I left it but I was entirely unprepared for the disaster area I came back to. I'm slowly working on it but Ava is super bored now so she's following me everywhere. :/ I'd love for it to be an annual thing. I looked last night to see if Chicago was a reasonable driving distance from JJ. Nope. Still 14 hrs. Canada is big!  Maybe if everyone started saving a bit here and there, we could rent a beach house? Although the timeshare setup was super convienent.


We will really have to think and come up with a good middle of the road place, or at least warm/tropical! Puerto Rico was nice -- and no passports needed!









We had such fun with everyone. It was so nice. It was nice to be able to just leave the kids with whomever, we all knew someone was watching, they all played together SO NICE. It was great! Nora and Kellen were best buds! Dylan was such a sweetie. Always coming over and grinning and wanting to play. Chris said that at one point he brought him a ball and they played catch for a good while! He really enjoyed meeting and chatting with Sean too. He said he was bummed Rick didn't come down, Lauri, that he would have liked to meet him as well.

Ava is such a little doll. And so smart! All the signs she knows, and how well she communicates is amazing!

I think everyone really had a good time! It was so worth it.

Oh, Alysia, your mom and her bf are super nice as well! Thank them again for us!

Ok. I'd better get to work and throw in wash while Finn naps!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

if we plan far enough in advance, maybe we can save enough to fly. i don't mind getting passports. i've never had one. how much do they cost?

i've never really been west, either. we drove across country when we moved back from hawaii but we only hit touristy places for a few hours and moved on. i'll go just about anywhere as long as i can afford it.

we need to pick a time when everyone will be able to come, like summer if there might be school. of course, any time works for me.

kat ~ that's what i should do, invite someone over. then dh will clean.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I personally would prefer late summer, early fall - gives me the better part of a year to save, and the newest addition will be more ready to travel then. Plus, I just love that time of year!

Passport fees: $165 for an adult, each child under 16 $115. That's for the passport book and card and the "execution" fee. Blah. http://travel.state.gov/passport/fees/fees_837.html

I would love to take a train somewhere, but it means doubling the time needed off - I don't really want to take DH and 3 kids on a plane. Really, really, don't. LOL DH would likely have to buy 2 seats and they would need to be on an exit row to give him leg room. He's a big dude. Unless we could afford business/first class . . . not likely.

JJ: Where are you??? we miss you, I don't think you've posted recently, I hope you are ok.

Flutters: I've been feeling them off and on for a couple weeks. I love feeling a baby move. it's my favorite part of pregnancy.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Flutters: I've been feeling them off and on for a couple weeks. I love feeling a baby move. it's my favorite part of pregnancy.


Mine too! Yay for flutters!!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ Could you set something up so you could put her down to play while you rest/sleep? Or does she fuss the whole time if you try that?


I do usually in the morning, I can put her in her pack and play, and put baby einstein on and she'll watch for 45 minutes or so. But I hate doing that, you know? And she won't play for longer than 15 minutes if I'm dozing, so it has to be the movie. So anyways, I try not to use it, but yes, morning when I -need- that extra 45 minutes, I'll do it. I usually don't fall back asleep, because I'm keeping an ear out for her, but I can doze.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ It occurred to me, I know you are extremely sleep-deprived but could you also being having issued with PPD? It can show up slowly or later. That might be something to look into if it might help you deal with the situation with less stress.


I've thought of that a bit lately, but if it makes sense, it doesn't really -feel- like it. Like days when I actually do get more sleep, it's totally easier to deal with, and we have great days. I think it's just a combination of being exhausted-- and then being bitter at her because I'm exhausted.

Sounds horrible, but she's sick right now, and that's my saving grace.







Night before last she was having a horrible horrible night- like waking every 45 minutes, but then taking 5-6 tries to get her back down. Finally at 330, when I had only slept about 45 minutes total that night, I put her in bed with DH and went and slept on the couch. She slept until 630!! It was THE BEST SLEEP I've gotten in months. I'll sleep on the couch every night if that happens. Of course, then DH called in sick to work, and so I actually slept for the 3 hours, and then I nursed her from 630-7, and then slept again until almost 8, and then he came and took her, and I slept on and off until 10. I think it's the most sleep I've gotten in weeks. And I got up, and we had a fantastic day yesterday. But within an hour of waking up, it was pretty evident that she was sick. And then last night, because she was quite stuffed up, I brought her into bed with us again, and she had two spurts that were almost 2 hours long. She woke up slightly during the spurts, but if I reached over and put a hand on her and rubbed her back for a few seconds, she'd go back to sleep. Good enough for me. And then when she woke around 3, I noticed she was burning up-- fever of 102.9, so I gave her a dose of tylenol, and then she did her second 2 hour spurt, then went back to waking every hour.

Anyways... so I'm hoping for a decent fever-induced nap today, and I'm starting to feel human. Her two incoming teeth are soooooo close to being through as well, so maybe after this is done, we'll be over a hump. She has so many great tools for sleeping now, just hasn't had a chance to use them. She's putting herself to sleep in her crib, in general, a lot faster now. We do our bedtime routine of nursing and cuddles and all that, and then she goes down into her crib, I wait a bit, and then I leave the room. If I'm feeling good and calm, then I come back in a minute after I've grabbed a drink or a book or something. If I'm stressed, then I'll stay out. I've given myself a limit of 10 minutes-- that no matter how stressed I am, I won't leave her longer than 10 minutes. She hasn't made it to that yet. The last three times I've left her alone in her room, she's been asleep within 4, 8 and 3 minutes of fussing. Often now, I'll stand up during our cuddles, and have her reach out for the crib and push me away. I'll put her down, pat her back 10 times or so, and she'll be out. It's huge. And at night too, I can sometimes go in and give her a hug while she's still sitting down, and she'll actually lay herself back down and go back to sleep without me even picking her up. It's steps, and tools. So, we'll see where we're at after this cold passes and go from there.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Migraine sucks! I hope it gets better.
> Yes, we should try to make this an annual event. I was already thinking on the drive home about planning the next vacation for us. Maybe the next one should be in Canada. I've never been. If JJ's dh won't come to us, we'll go to him. hehe
> Home, sweet home. There is a ton of cleaning to do. I don't know where to start. I probably won't.


Yes! Although I'm so jealous of you guys right now, seeing all the pictures and the status updates, that I might just come wherever. lol.

Starting to think of Tenley's birthday and christmas lists. I really really really want to accentuate non-plastic toys, but it's hard, without offending everybody. We were supposed to be getting an Ikea opening in Oct/Nov, which would have been fantastic-- but now it's not going to open until mid december or even later :S Sigh. I told DH I want to make her a kitchen and accessories from us. It seems early for 1 year old, but with the bday/xmas only a month apart, we kind of have to do everything then, or wait another whole year.

Anyways- we bought a used Ikea barn and animal set yesterday-- and I love it. And Tenley is hilarious to watch with it. Almost like she thinks they're real or something! I want more of this stuff so badly!

Back for more later!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

oh my gosh guys. Everyone was responding while I was typing. I shall reply in a bit. I just had a bit of a thought, and I wanted to start it, before I head off.

I think some of the depression like symptoms are 'anger' at the fact that this is so hard. You -know- parenting and babyhood is going to be hard. But being an AP parent, you have this idea that if you implement all these gentle, wonderful, important things-- that infancy should be so much easier. Like... Yes, newborns are hard-- but I'm breastfeeding, and babywearing, and had a natural birth, and we bond lots, and cuddle and coo, and bedshare sometimes--- so why isn't it easier? You get this misguided belief that AP= easy. And it doesn't. I think in some ways it makes it harder (not saying it is not very important and I'm not very behind it still), but I think it makes it harder, because if I were a mainstream parent, right-- I'd just say well hell, this is hard, and I'm tired- and I'd ferberize her, sleep all night, then hire a babysitter and go out with my husband twice a week and get drunk. And when breastfeeding started getting time consuming, well then I'd just switch her to formula, and night wean her... and if my lap got sick of being full all the time, I'd just make her play alone... etc etc.

Kwim? There's so many more demands on you when you're an AP parent. And I know that it's still the right thing to do. As hard as it is, it FEELS right. But it's harder than you think it's going to be, or should be, for doing things the 'right' way.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> I do usually in the morning, I can put her in her pack and play, and put baby einstein on and she'll watch for 45 minutes or so. But I hate doing that, you know? And she won't play for longer than 15 minutes if I'm dozing, so it has to be the movie. So anyways, I try not to use it, but yes, morning when I -need- that extra 45 minutes, I'll do it. I usually don't fall back asleep, because I'm keeping an ear out for her, but I can doze.


Just do it. In the big scheme of things, it's ok. Isn't it better for her to watch an hour of a movie or whatever than to have you so sleep-deprived that you can't take care of her? Makes sense to me.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> I've thought of that a bit lately, but if it makes sense, it doesn't really -feel- like it. Like days when I actually do get more sleep, it's totally easier to deal with, and we have great days. I think it's just a combination of being exhausted-- and then being bitter at her because I'm exhausted.


I felt the same way after Kellen was born. I wasn't sad or immobile or suicidal or anything like that. I was just easily irritated and short-tempered. I convinced myself the problem was sleep-deprivation and exhaustion rather than depression. After Dylan, though, I had to do something. Once I started medication, my anxiety level dropped and I was able to sleep better. It really did make a huge difference for me. If you seriously do have OCD like you've said, you probably have issues with anxiety. Anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I personally would prefer late summer, early fall - gives me the better part of a year to save, and the newest addition will be more ready to travel then. Plus, I just love that time of year!
> 
> ...


Flutters! Cool!

I had no idea passports cost so much. I thought it was just the $10 or whatever for the photos. Maybe that's because I think military members can get them free or at discounted rates. Or maybe we can just use our military IDs. I'm not sure.

A train would be fun. I'm not a fan of flying. I have a major anxiety attack over even the idea of it. If dh is with me, though, I can do it.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> oh my gosh guys. Everyone was responding while I was typing. I shall reply in a bit. I just had a bit of a thought, and I wanted to start it, before I head off.
> 
> ...


Having children is hard no matter how you do it (unless maybe you just completely neglect them







). The thing about sleep training, i.e. Ferberizing, is that it doesn't really work in the long run. IME, parents who do it are always complaining that it worked for a few weeks and then baby/child started waking again and they had to be retrained. It's kind of the same thing as spanking. It may appear to work because the first few times it seems to get instant results. It doesn't stick, though, and the situation can be more of a problem later on.

I also think all first-time parents have an idealized vision of how things are going to be and they are never like that. No matter how much you read and how much time you spend with other people's babies and children and how many stories you hear from other parents, you have no idea what it's really like until you have your own baby. That is equivalent to birth. You can know everything there is to know about it but you have no idea what it's really like until you do it yourself.

I actually find AP practices to make life easier than non-AP practices. I can compare because I wasn't very AP with Ryan as he got older. I did breastfeed him and I ended up co-sleeping with him a lot out of desperation when I was so tired that I was afraid I'd drop him when I was trying to sit up to nurse him in the middle of the night. But that was when he was an infant, probably only for the first year. Trying to implement all the more traditional parenting and discipline with him as a toddler and child made my life much more difficult with just one child than it is now continuing to follow AP principles with 3 LOs.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

JJ: so good to hear from you - maybe you had posted before and I missed in the hoopla.

our tv is on ALL THE TIME. do the kids sit parked in front of it? no, not really, it's just background noise, but it's a needs-to-have thing since I WAH and need them distracted, LOL. I can't sleep while they are awake, but I do sit on my iphone while they play. If they are happy, often I just need to BE - I don't need to be involved. I feel like I'm ruining their fun. If they want me to play with them, they make sure I know!

I think if what you are doing sleep wise with Ten works, then work it! Norah needs physical contact. NEEDS. DS needs cuddles, then space to wiggle it out until he is asleep. This is a tough sleep age I think. All the phyical things they are trying to do, mastering, teeth, etc I think just disrupts the natural rhythm of things, until they get in a good groove again. With DS, it was between 16-18 months before we hit a smooth patch. months 10-14 were rough, sleep wise, because I was fighting him on sleep, and I shouldn't have.

I don't fight stuff. I have so few rules it's comical compared to other moms, even crunchy ones, I know. I let my kid jump on and off of furniture. Be loud, scream inside . . . He's little. what's the big deal? Eat when he wants, what he wants, within reason. I've started cutting him off after 9 pm though. Most of the time he doesn't actually finish whatever it is, and he isn't much bothered when I say no, so I don't think he's actually hungry.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

JJ, I'm glad to hear you got a bit of rest. Here's my "aha" moment from having Ava. Babies suck. They just do. Sure, there are magical babies out there that are happy and content all the time and sleep twice a day for 2 hrs each and 12 hrs at night. I've met them. But that's not Ava. Or Tenley. Or Dylan. Or Norah. Or Finn. Get my drift here? Those magical babies are the exception. So I'll say it again. Babies suck. Big kids suck less but they bring different challenges with them. Managing my kids on a daily basis is like playing mental chess. All day long. You think you give yourself a hard time for turning on Baby Einstein? Imagine now if you wanted to make an exception to one of your "rules" with an 8 yr old. No big deal at the time. Then the next time they want to do that and you say no, they will remind you that you agreed before and spend the next 30 mins verbally wearing you down. I'm not trying to negate your pain right now. Or scare you for the future. I just want you to give yourself a break. Cut yourself some slack, you know? Be gentle with Tenley but also be gentle with Jenine.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I have a babywearing meeting at my house Friday night . . . I really need to clean. Joy. But that's why I am having it - it forces me to do what i really don't want to, but need to do!
> 
> We need passports to get to Canada no? Much as I'd love to go, I'd rather stay on this side of the border, so I don't have to add the expense of passports to vacation :bag: I do want to go to Montreal sooooo bad! DH has one, I did have, but it's long since expired. the kids would need them (all three) . . . any good vacation spots within a reasonable travelling distance for JJ?


LOL Every time we have someone over, Rob is like "We HAVE to do that more often!" Knowing someone is coming over in half hour, means we get the whole house cleaned in half hour. Cleaning just because it's dirty-- cleaning takes three days. It's amazing what motivation can do for you!

Yeah I think you need passports. There's not a ton interesting though in Canada. BC, which everyone would have to fly to, or maybe Montreal like you said. I don't know how much there is for kids in montreal though. And not big on the beachy type scene. DH -might- go for montreal, but more luck with a warm destination. I'm ok coming to the states anyways, we've got passports, and Ten needs one anyways, since we try to get down to the states shopping once a year or so. I think they're only like $85 or something here, and cheaper for kids.

In the states, the only travel spot for us is minneapolis/mall of america. I'd love to go again, and we plan to "soonish", but again, not sure it's much of a kids destination! lol And not much closer to you guys I don't think. In terms of convincing DH- somewhere international is the easiest bet, followed by something in florida or on the coast. Either way it'll take convincing. Who knows though, maybe by next summer we'd just come without him, and he'd enjoy the time alone! lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> 16 weeks today, and woke up with a migraine. UGH


I feel like your pregnancy is just dragging! lol I think it's because you're the only one this time, and so I want it to hurry up and have new squishy in the group! haha

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Just do it. In the big scheme of things, it's ok. Isn't it better for her to watch an hour of a movie or whatever than to have you so sleep-deprived that you can't take care of her? Makes sense to me.
> I felt the same way after Kellen was born. I wasn't sad or immobile or suicidal or anything like that. I was just easily irritated and short-tempered. I convinced myself the problem was sleep-deprivation and exhaustion rather than depression. After Dylan, though, I had to do something. Once I started medication, my anxiety level dropped and I was able to sleep better. It really did make a huge difference for me. If you seriously do have OCD like you've said, you probably have issues with anxiety. Anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand.
> ...


I'm the opposite- I love flying! Love it. It's so exciting to me.

I get what you're saying. And that's why my daughter hsa more of an attachment to the einstein puppets than any of her physical toys. LOL

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Having children is hard no matter how you do it (unless maybe you just completely neglect them
> 
> ...


Oh no, I agree. i just mean that 'those' type of parents seem to stress less. it sounds callous but probably because they care a little less-- as in they don't treat their babies as real people so it's not a big deal if they feel sad or abandoned etc.

anyways unsuccessfully nak now, so im going to head out!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I have so few rules it's comical compared to other moms, even crunchy ones, I know.


AP and crunchy/NFL aren't synonymous with no or very little rules. I've actually found it can be quite the opposite. AP/NFL parents may have even more rules because they want to control everything. They see so many things in mainstream society as bad and they don't want their children to be exposed to those things at all. It can get very extreme and, I think, sad.

I don't think I have any hard and fast rules. I tried that with Ryan and learned very quickly that I am not good at sticking to rules. Now I have principles and values and try to make choices moment to moment based on those principles and values.

I like what Annie said about being gentle with yourself. If you can't relax when your dh takes Tenley because you feel like he's ignoring her, insist that he put her in the Boba and go for a walk while you stay at the house. Give him specific jobs to do with her, if you haven't already. It's ok for you to take a few hours off on the weekends or whenever dh is off from work. Maybe you can set up a playdate for his day off sometimes and he can Tenley out while you stay home and chill.

I hope you don't feel like I'm bombarding you with advice. I'm just trying to brainstorm about things that might help so I'm posting anything that pops into my head that seems reasonable. Take what may help, if anything. Leave the rest.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I like flying. I haven't since I met DH because we've had no reason, and flying with someone 6 foot 6 and just a big dude seems problematic. Even if he were a beanpole, he still has broad shoulders and hips, I don't think flying would be super comfortable, except a short trip, and if that were the case, we could drive, iykwim.

Mall of America is awesome, but expensive - IIRC there is legoland and an indoor amusement park, which is fun. I've not been in over a decade though. I could though, travel that far, with the "excuse" of seeing my grandpa on the way to or from - he's about 2 hours south, in northern IA. Maybe the other Annie (or someone?) who's in Colorado could join us then.

it is quite a drive to MN from here, our family would probably need 2 days to do it, but it's doable. If the kids were cooperative, we could do it in one.

JJ: you are in Central Canada then? (trying to get an idea - I visited Canada once when I was 6? - we travelled up through Vermont and saw Niagra falls on the way - I have a feeling you are nowhere near that)

Ely and Duluth on this list look promising, but igorant of MN geography, no idea actually where they are: http://www.midwestweekends.com/plan_a_trip/family_friends/travel_with_kids/best_vacations_with_kids_minnesota.html

My principles at this point are: what's the potential harm to him or others? And what are the standards of those around me? - for example - my dad is taking college courses right now and needs to study, of course, so when we are up visiting I do not encourage or allow screaming and disruptive noises. Also goes for when I have a headache. Dad thinks he just jump off stuff outside, but honestly, that's no safer. Even my mom agrees with that. We just roll our eyes. Or at the park, there were these loose brick pavers that were used as a border on the path. Gabe was building with them but another mom didn't want her son to tear up the park, so to speak, so we redirected the boys to loose bricks near the creek that served no function, that they could build with all they wanted. I honestly didn't care if he built with the other bricks, we could put them back when he was done. But it's not reasonable to let him do something and another kid not be allowed to do it. Kind of "when in Rome"

I think if he were still my only kid, and I wasn't working outside the home, I probably would have more rules. He'd probably be potty trained. I'd probably do more structured activities, etc. But he's not, I do, and I do what I have energy for. I still think he's turning out ok


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

It would take us 2 days to drive to MN, I think. It took me 2 days to drive there myself. I stopped in Michigan. I don't want to do that so we'd just fly but that's cool as long as we have enough notice to plan and save.

Oh, and if you want a beach house, there's always mine.







. We don't live right on the beach but we can drive to one in 20-30 minutes. There's never an issue with parking at the beach on base. There aren't any attractions but there aren't really any on the Crystal Coast, either, at least not like Va Beach. Ocean City or Myrtle Beach. We can make room for 2-3 families depending on when anyone would want to come.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

MW: Could you get one or two of the beach cabins? Sean's an officer, so can get in the lottery for the nicer ones, and those really are right on the beach. And stuff to do: There is tons of putt-putt out on emerald isle/topsail . . . fort macon . . . Drive down to Wilmington to the battleship and I think they have a nicer aquarium than Pine Knoll Shores, historic downtown Wilmington. stuff to do. Not as exciting as Williamsburg.

We wouldn't necessarily need a place to stay, but would rather be closer to you guys - if need be we can stay with DH's grandpa in Hubert.

Myrtle Beach is also pretty reasonable. Especially if we go after Labor Day, rooms could be had on the water for pretty cheap.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Oh, yeah, there is stuff to do around. I meant there isn't anything to do right at the beach on base other than hang out on the beach and in the ocean.

We can get cabins. I don't know what lottery you are talking about. There are various places available based on rank. The houses right on the beach as opposed to across the drive are for higher ranking officers. Lt. Col. and above, so dh isn't eligible. There are cabins and new houses that replaced the mobile homes. I think there are also camp sites and sites to park/hook up a RV if you have one. I'll have to look at the details again. They need to be booked early for the summer. My place is free, though.









My mom can get timeshares in Myrtle Beach, too.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

There are ocean front cabanas that are studios that sleep 3 at $138 for 3 nights, ocean view lodges that sleep 6 but only have 1 bedroom and a loft at $165 for 3 nights, and ocean view houses (Ospreys) that have 3 bedrooms and sleep 6 at $207 for 3 nights. We can rent two units of the cabanas and lodges but we can only rent one house. We can rent one cabana or lodge in addition to the one house. I haven't been in the cabanas or houses but the lodges are tiny. The loft is not suitable for adults so it would really only fit one family even though it says it sleeps 6. I would really want to see inside them before I suggest how many we would need.

Here's a link to the brochure: http://www.mccslejeune.com/beach/OB%20Lodging%20Broichure%20-%2018Nov2012%20Pricing.pdf

We can also rent campers that could be set up on a beach site. I don't know how much that is or how much room one has but it may be a cheaper option if anyone is interested.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Back when dad was stationed there, the cabanas and such were so popular, you had to put your name in a lottery for the weekend(s) you wanted and hope you got it. Glad to know it doesn't work that way anymore!

We have stayed in the studios before (Dad as a CWO1 or 2 then) and they are ok for a small family. We had stayed in the trailers when he was enlisted, and that was not as nice. (read, would not do again) Good to know they've been replaced.

I'd be cool with myrtle beach, really, if everyone else would be - it's not like we need to decide right now  but since it's way closer than MN, I'd be ok with doing it even in peak season, or maybe early summer, since that might be ok with the squish.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

My first choice would be Myrtle Beach, especially if MW's mom was willing to let us do the timeshare thing again. So, so easy. We went a couple of years to a timeshare resort in Surfside Beach which is just south of Myrtle Beach. I really like it there because it's kind of secluded. There's lots of things to do for the bigger kids in Myrtle Beach too. Their children's museum is great. And easy to do day trips to Georgetown, Charleston or Wilmington. My second choice would be Emerald Isle/Atlantic Beach area in NC. Still things to do there w/kids. I know a lot of people love the Outer Banks but man, there's nothing there!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Chris said that at one point he brought him a ball and they played catch for a good while! He really enjoyed meeting and chatting with Sean too. He said he was bummed Rick didn't come down, Lauri, that he would have liked to meet him as well.


Rick was really bummed that he wasn't able to come. It would have been interesting to see the three guys together because Chris and Sean are so quiet and Rick is....not. In fact, my whole family is loud compared to the other families that were there. I told Baby_Cakes this one morning but my big kids are just loud and always on the move. It's probably a good thing that they didn't come because they probably would have sent MW running out the door!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Flutters: I've been feeling them off and on for a couple weeks. I love feeling a baby move. it's my favorite part of pregnancy.


That's probably the thing I miss most about being pregnant. Those secret convos between mama and baby. Love it!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Just reading quickly before I head to find dinner. Oooh I love plans. I will attempt to discuss with DH tonight and see what he would be most "in" for. I -love- the idea of getting a beach house on or very close to the water for a few days. Maybe I could convince him if we did the group thing for a few days, and then just the three of us found a cozy cottage for another couple days. If we're gonna fly, makes sense to make it worth it. Just for reference, what's the closest big city to these places we're tlaking about?

Oh, and yes, Kat, I'm in central canada. I live about 1.5 hours from the US border directly above North dakota/minnesota border. In the middle of freaking nowhere as far as travel/destinations are concerned. However, we have points on our credit card, and right now already have enough for two tickets to anywhere in canada/us, so our flights would be paid for. It's just hard, because obviously you want to make it worth it wherever you go. It's hard to make a decision when you could go to say california or florida... for the same "price" as going to chicago or toronto etc.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

oh, this is me:

https://maps.google.ca/maps?q=r3r+2a8&ie=UTF-8&hl=en


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Just reading quickly before I head to find dinner. Oooh I love plans. I will attempt to discuss with DH tonight and see what he would be most "in" for. I -love- the idea of getting a beach house on or very close to the water for a few days. Maybe I could convince him if we did the group thing for a few days, and then just the three of us found a cozy cottage for another couple days. If we're gonna fly, makes sense to make it worth it. Just for reference, what's the closest big city to these places we're tlaking about?
> 
> Oh, and yes, Kat, I'm in central canada. I live about 1.5 hours from the US border directly above North dakota/minnesota border. In the middle of freaking nowhere as far as travel/destinations are concerned. However, we have points on our credit card, and right now already have enough for two tickets to anywhere in canada/us, so our flights would be paid for. It's just hard, because obviously you want to make it worth it wherever you go. It's hard to make a decision when you could go to say california or florida... for the same "price" as going to chicago or toronto etc.


Your best bet would probably be to fly in to the international airport in Charlotte, NC and rent a car and drive to Myrtle Beach. It would be about a 4 hr drive. Does your DH have issues with not having met us in person before?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Your best bet would probably be to fly in to the international airport in Charlotte, NC and rent a car and drive to Myrtle Beach. It would be about a 4 hr drive. Does your DH have issues with not having met us in person before?


Or you may be able to fly in to Wilmington, NC. Didn't realize they had an international airport. MW, does that airport get a lot of traffic? I know Charlotte does so it would probably be easy to find a flight into/out of there.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

It's not so much the never met them thing as in he's worried you guys will be crazy psychos (we've both had online relationships prior to getting together, including meeting my scottish 'online-ex' in toronto when we were there several years ago. He's just... not very social with people he doesn't know, and would rather travel alone. Or I should say... he is one of those people who socializes very well. Always can carry on a conversation, find a good topic, make people laugh-- but to get him there to do it-- very hard. He's a bit of a hermit until forced.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> It's not so much the never met them thing as in he's worried you guys will be crazy psychos (we've both had online relationships prior to getting together, including meeting my scottish 'online-ex' in toronto when we were there several years ago. He's just... not very social with people he doesn't know, and would rather travel alone. Or I should say... he is one of those people who socializes very well. Always can carry on a conversation, find a good topic, make people laugh-- but to get him there to do it-- very hard. He's a bit of a hermit until forced.


Oh well in that case, tell him not to worry! We all went and did our own thing whenever we wanted to. No pressure to hang out with us if someone didn't want to. Although I will say that Baby_Cakes's DH was a real trooper one night. He sat and talked to MW's mom's boyfriend for like 3 hrs or something. Could have been because E was the barkeep and poured him half a bottle of whiskey as one drink!







Tom was very nice but I would not have been able to sit there that long and talk to anyone for 3 hrs! I think the best part of the trip was the early mornings and late nights when we could just relax and enjoy being in the same space with each other. No pressure to "conversate" like I feel if I meet people at like a bar or something and I'm only with them a finite number of hours. Then I would feel like we had to talk the entire time. Staying in the same place allowed the babies and kids to play unhindered and for the grownups to talk but also just enjoy each other's quiet, you know?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yes, Annie, exactly. No pressure to socialize. I teased Carrie's dh that we were make him and my dh be friends whether they liked it or not because I asked if he minded if my dh rode with him to get dinner one night. I think that was the only time they really spent together. My dh didn't really socialize with anyone. He mostly hang out in our condo when we were there. We all walked around Colonial Williamsburg as a group for a few hours one day but that was it. We still wandered our separate ways occasionally.

I was going to suggest the airport in Wilmington, too. Then it would only be about an hour to North Myrtle Beach, I think. I know it only takes us 2 hours to drive to Myrtle Beach from Jacksonville and Wilmington is about an hour from us. Anyway, I don't know how much traffic that airport gets, though. We don't really fly and don't know people who fly much. I can try to find out, though.

The closest "big" city to Emerald Isle/Atlantic Beach is probably Morehead City. Emerald Isle is only about 20-30 minutes from me, so if you can find Jacksonville, NC/Camp LeJeune, you can find Emerald Isle.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

We had a semi good 2 minute talk about the potential trip tonight! I mentioned I wanted to sit down and talk about it, and he asked where, and then asked when, like if it would be the same weekend etc. That's better than I've ever gotten! The fact that he bothered to ask when, rather than just rolling his eyes! lol Tentatively book us in!

And, as I pointed out to him, I could go check out the old set of one tree hill! *giggles like a teenage girl*

He'd probably want to rent a car anyways, so that's not a big problem if the airport is a bit further away.

So as of right now, in our very rudimentary planning, North Myrtle Beach is the area we're looking at? Can you swim in the ocean there?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

JJ: Absolutely, you can swim in the ocean! Now, if we go about the same time of year (mid September) the water is starting to cool, but still able to get in.

I don't know that Wilmington gets a ton of traffic. I did a quick comparison of winnipeg > wilmington vs winnipeg >charlotte.

Flying to wilmington is nearly twice as much (not that it matters if the tix are covered, but will ten be in lap or in seat?) and most flights have a minimum of 2 stops.

Flying to Charlotte, the tickets are far more reasonable - in the event you have to pay for tenley - and have usually just one stop. It does mean longer driving, and paying a bit more for the rental car (if you have to pay based on mileage). Something to think about. Charlotte is a nice, family friendly airport, from what friends here tell me.

It would be fantastic if we could nail down dates by the first part of 2013, so I can make sure to request to be off. Myrtle beach is definitely doable for us.

We did have a timeshare there, but gave it up as part of the bankruptcy we filed this year.

Norah nursed a ton last night. I must still be making milk if she wants only the boob and refuses the paci right? Anyone nurse through a pregnancy? Gabe was long weaned at this point. I am tempted to pump next time I go to work just to see :heehee:

DH and I met on the internet - through eHarmony - so though I do appreciate weirdness in web peeps, I've had good luck. I've made some awesome friends via webstuff, even if we've never met in person.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ ~ I can't believe you don't know about Myrtle Beach! We used to get a kick out of the Canadians who would come down and swim in the ocean when we thought it was freezing. hehe You can absolutely swim there. I'd suggest either North Myrtle Beach or south of Myrtle Beach because I don't like to be right in the thick of all the touristy stuff. North Myrtle Beach is still very touristy but not quite as busy as Myrtle Beach (at least that's how it was 14 years ago when I went to college down there).

We stayed at our timeshare in North Myrtle Beach that my mom got. It was nice. It had two floors, kitchen and living room downstairs and 2 bedrooms upstairs. I don't know what other kinds of units are available but I can ask my mom to check if you want to go that route. It was across the main road that goes through NMB/MB, not on the beach side, so we'd have to drive a few blocks to get to the beach. The resort did have a small parking area across the street from the beach with a sort of cabana thingie where you could eat and take showers. I think they also ran a shuttle from the resort to the beach throughout the day so you didn't have to worry about finding parking. Or we can look into renting a beach house right on or across the street from the beach. Whichever you guys would prefer. I really like the idea of being right at the beach and all of us being in one house. We'd probably have to get at least 2 timeshares again and I don't think they connect like the condos in Williamsburg but they would probably cost a lot less.

Oh, and JJ, I wanted to say that my dh would be perfectly happy sitting in silence with yours watching just about any sporting event they could find. No need for small talk.









Kat ~ I only nursed Ethan until I was about 2-3 months pg with Kellen. I weaned Ethan because it hurt so bad to nurse. He was almost 3 years old, though. I would have tried to keep going if he were less than 2, I think. It won't hurt to pump just to see what you get. But, pumping is not a good indicator of how much milk you are actually producing if you still have a baby at the breast even sometimes.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I know, I just want to see if I am producing anything. Don't care how much.

Love the idea of one house, did Carrie enjoy having a meat free kitchen though?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I would guess that you are producing something if Norah is nursing at night. Can you hand express anything?

IDK if Carrie got her meat free kitchen. I'm not sure if Annie cooked any meat in their unit or not.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I have never been good at hand expression - only when really engorged. That's my guess too, because she has always been too much of a piggie to just comfort nurse - she wants food! She will take a paci sometimes, but last night she wouldn't at all. We have gotten in the habit of feeding her something right before bed, and we didn't yesterday, so I think she was just hungry - and I am tired and out of patience today. She is a world champion pincher. I hate pinching. I'd rather deal with biting. Which I am grateful she doesn't do.

*yawn*

then again, at Myrtle Beach we tend to eat out alot (we love the all you can eat crab leg buffets) LOL


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Have your mom check the floorplans in NMB when she gets a chance. I don't mind staying near but not on the beach. I kind of prefer it actually. I mostly cooked stuff with eggs and/or cheese but one night I did heat up a meatball for Ava. Nora was very curious about the eggs and watched me make scrambled eggs for Ava's breakfast the last morning.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I can only hand express a tiny bit from the breast Dylan is not nursing from while he is nursing, if that makes sense. I was just thinking that if you could do that, you'd at least know if you've got some milk in there. KWIM?

I'll ask my mom to check. When are we thinking of, summer or early fall like this year?


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Working backwards!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> Nora was very curious about the eggs and watched me make scrambled eggs for Ava's breakfast the last morning.


She sure was! She was intrigued. She'd never seen an egg cracked before IRL!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I have never been good at hand expression - only when really engorged. That's my guess too, because she has always been too much of a piggie to just comfort nurse - she wants food! She will take a paci sometimes, but last night she wouldn't at all. We have gotten in the habit of feeding her something right before bed, and we didn't yesterday, so I think she was just hungry - and I am tired and out of patience today. She is a world champion pincher. I hate pinching. I'd rather deal with biting. Which I am grateful she doesn't do.
> 
> ...


Hugs and I hear you on the pinching! Fnn is a pincer. I have black and blues all over my stomach and arms from his little pincers!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I know, I just want to see if I am producing anything. Don't care how much.
> Love the idea of one house, did Carrie enjoy having a meat free kitchen though?


I didn't even notice what Lauri was cooking! I suppose since she didn't really cook meat I did appreciate it b/c I didn't even notice anything.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> And, as I pointed out to him, I could go check out the old set of one tree hill! *giggles like a teenage girl*


OMG! I want to go too!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Oh well in that case, tell him not to worry! We all went and did our own thing whenever we wanted to. No pressure to hang out with us if someone didn't want to. Although I will say that Baby_Cakes's DH was a real trooper one night. He sat and talked to MW's mom's boyfriend for like 3 hrs or something. Could have been because E was the barkeep and poured him half a bottle of whiskey as one drink!
> 
> ...


He liked Tom! He said they had a really good talk!

Ethan was a good bartender! Even if he can't say "last call!" LOL!!

Chris told me he is used to small talk and chatting it up with customers, being thrown into situations, etc so he didn't even feel uncomfortable in thr slightest, not even driving w/sean. I was surprised b/c before this job he would have been. He said they talked a bunch about what Sean does and he explained what he did. Sean apparently knows what linux is! LOL!

AFM - I've achieved zombie status. I need to get some consecutive sleep SOON. Idk what to do. It's going on 3 weeks now with maybe an hour stretch at a time. I know it's normal and I'm not worried about much other than just .... my safety and health.

And DH pisses me off b/c he isn't as tired and doesn't understand why I just fall asleep at night. He acts like it's the end of the free world lately b/c we haven't been having sexy time. I'm just too freaking tired. It doesn't even cross my mind -- I literally fall asleep with one of the kids. Or I come out and say good night and then go to bed w/o even thinking. I wish though that even once he would just acknowledge how tired I am and give me a break or a pass. Instead, he just acts like a huge baby. Says he feels we don't spend time togehter. Says our relationship isn't the same. Loads all this GUILT onto me, that it's somehow MY responsibility to have enough energy to take care of these kids AND him.

I don't get it. And I'm too tired to really argue with him about it so I tell him to get over it.

Sigh.

I'm excited b/c I got my costume for halloween! Replica training shirt that Katniss wears in the hunger games!

http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/Ne-Hunger-Game-Shirt-Medium/

But I got it at Target for only $25!

Ok - I wanted to also bring this up b/c I want thoughts. Sometimes I'm just to freaking tired and I want to snack. Chris gets so mad when I bring home chips/cookies, etc. He gets upset and tells me this is why I can't "lose weight" and this is why "we're chubby". These comments...they are starting to upset me. I feel like he's basically calling me fat. Now, I don't feel like a supermodel, but I think i look ok, and when he says these things I just kind of want to be like WTF? I'm exhausted and have 2 kids and I try to find as much time as I can to work out when i have the energy. So shut up. You know? Sometimes I just freaking want some oreos or some chips. And I feel like he is being rude. thoughts?? WWYD or say?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Ok - I wanted to also bring this up b/c I want thoughts. Sometimes I'm just to freaking tired and I want to snack. Chris gets so mad when I bring home chips/cookies, etc. He gets upset and tells me this is why I can't "lose weight" and this is why "we're chubby". These comments...they are starting to upset me. I feel like he's basically calling me fat. Now, I don't feel like a supermodel, but I think i look ok, and when he says these things I just kind of want to be like WTF? I'm exhausted and have 2 kids and I try to find as much time as I can to work out when i have the energy. So shut up. You know? Sometimes I just freaking want some oreos or some chips. And I feel like he is being rude. thoughts?? WWYD or say?


Jesus, if you guys are "chubby" then my DH and I are freaking obese. Tell him to shove it. If he wants to eat better, he can cook dinner for you guys. And you are still nursing. Not an excuse but you do need more calories and fat. You gotta keep giving Finn the milks!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Chris told me he is used to small talk and chatting it up with customers, being thrown into situations, etc so he didn't even feel uncomfortable in thr slightest, not even driving w/sean. I was surprised b/c before this job he would have been. He said they talked a bunch about what Sean does and he explained what he did. Sean apparently knows what linux is! LOL!
> 
> ...


I think both Sean and Chris did a great job being thrown in the situation with us. There was one point that we were all chatting about cloth diapers and birthy stuff and they just sat and listened. Such good guys! I think Sean wandered over and watched football on Sunday when I was watching the game. I was cooking Ava's dinner at the same time so I wasn't too chatty. Plus I was invested in the outcome of the game! Hahaha!

Baby_Cakes, if it were me, I would take the next couple of weeks and do the following: on Nora's school days, take her to school and come directly back home. Sleep when Finn sleeps. Don't do anything extra or go for a run or anything like that. Rest. Sleep. Recharge. This will end eventually but you need to be safe and driving even the short distance to and from Nora's school so sleep deprived isn't safe.

My DH has started getting super pissy about our 1x/week average for DTD. I'm like, WTF? He's usually asleep when I get home at 12:30 AM and I just want to come home, wash bottles, pump one more time and GO TO SLEEP! What is wrong with these guys?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I'll ask my mom to check. When are we thinking of, summer or early fall like this year?


If I had to choose, I'd prefer April/May but Sept is good too. The only thing is there is always the chance of hurricanes in Aug/Sept/Oct, you know? We used to do Myrtle Beach the first week of April and it was plenty warm. I don't really do the ocean but the kids would go in. I think late April/early May would be plenty hot.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Sean told me about the conversation about Linux. Yes, we know it. We don't use it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Ok - I wanted to also bring this up b/c I want thoughts. Sometimes I'm just to freaking tired and I want to snack. Chris gets so mad when I bring home chips/cookies, etc. He gets upset and tells me this is why I can't "lose weight" and this is why "we're chubby". These comments...they are starting to upset me. I feel like he's basically calling me fat. Now, I don't feel like a supermodel, but I think i look ok, and when he says these things I just kind of want to be like WTF? I'm exhausted and have 2 kids and I try to find as much time as I can to work out when i have the energy. So shut up. You know? Sometimes I just freaking want some oreos or some chips. And I feel like he is being rude. thoughts?? WWYD or say?


What Annie said! You guys chubby? That's ridiculous.

That's a very insensitive way for your dh to behave. However, he may not mean it exactly the way you are taking it. He may not be meaning that you are unattractive. He may just be thinking about how you guys have always been health conscious and he doesn't understand why that would change. That does not make what he is saying acceptable and I would tell him so. I would also tell him that, if he's so concerned about it, he needs to take more care of you. He should make you healthy food and make sure you have the time and energy to exercise (if that's what you want to do).

DH is upset with me, I think, because I just told him that I don't feel comfortable going to the MC Ball. The last time we talked about it I told him that he needs to arrange suitable childcare if he wants me to go. That means a babysitter that we know who will stay in a hotel room in Wilmington. I am not comfortable leaving Dylan in a childcare room with a bunch of other babies and children and maybe a handful of adults that he has never seen before. I told dh all of that 2 weeks ago but he did nothing. He just announced he needed money to buy the tickets so we got into because I told him not to buy tickets for me.

Why should I be the one to arrange all of that if he's the one who wants me to go?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Sean told me about the conversation about Linux. Yes, we know it. We don't use it.
> What Annie said! You guys chubby? That's ridiculous.
> ...


Yeah, that stinks. I used to arrange childcare stuff all the time for stuff DH wanted to do and then I stopped. I didn't make a formal proclamation but I just put it on him. I'm at work in the evenings so if something comes up that he wants to go to, he would approach me about like he wanted me to solve the problem and I'd just say "Hmmm, I guess you should call my mom and see if she's available to watch Ava..." and leave it at that. If it was something he really wanted to attend, he'd figure it out. One time he had to take Ava with him because he hadn't planned ahead. He's her parent too and he can figure it out. Now with the MC ball, I'd probably arrange something but mostly because I would want to attend. Have you ever looked on care.com or something like that to find a sitter?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

The thing is that we've discussed this a lot already. I've already mentioned that Ryan's girlfriend would probably babysit. Ryan has even suggested it to Sean. He still hasn't done anything. If I don't proclaim that he has to do it, he won't. So, that's what I did but he still didn't do it and is now mad at me about it. I'm so over all of that stuff being my responsibility, especially when I don't even want to go.

I have looked on Care.com. You can't get contact info unless you pay and I'm not willing to pay for that.

I am not looking anywhere again, though. If I want to go out or go to the doctor or anything, I have to arrange things myself. I don't tell Sean about it and then expect him to find childcare for me. Like you said, he's their parent also, he can do the same if he wants.

Oh, and an example of his lack of communication. He also announced that he has reserved rooms for us at the hotel as if I was supposed to know that. When I asked about the he said he told me. Um, no, he didn't. The last time we talked about that he said that the FRO was arranging to reserve a block of rooms somewhere. He didn't know where. That was a few weeks ago. He hasn't said anything else about it since.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

You guys do communicate differently. The jacuzzi tub conversation was classic. Do you think it's a guy thing or a marine thing? I could not for the life of me figure out why it mattered if Tom was in the bedroom watching TV either.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> AFM - I've achieved zombie status. I need to get some consecutive sleep SOON. Idk what to do. It's going on 3 weeks now with maybe an hour stretch at a time. I know it's normal and I'm not worried about much other than just .... my safety and health.
> 
> ...


^^^Yeah that. It's like... knowing that the sleep stage is normal, and nothing to be worried about, is one thing. But somehow managing to get yourself enough sleep through it-- not as easy!

And yeah, we don't dtd NEARLY enough, but by the time I've determined that she's actually asleep "for the night" (the first part of the night she wakes up every 35 minutes or so now, and then settles into eveyr hour)... well by that time I just desperately want my few minutes of sleep I'm going to get! If I had to guess, I'd say right now I'm averaging 6 hours of sleep a night, broken up into segments, so I'm not sleeping longer than 45 minutes at a time. When we take the time to dtd, I get more like 4 hours. I miss that sleep! lol But, guys don't understand.

Classic case-- I'm up with Ten every hour, all night long, and then I'm at her beck and call all day long as well, right? And then he gets home, and I spend the evening cleaning, doing dinner, and then putting her to bed. I don't "work" but I freaking work! lol Anyways, so again tonight, DH went to get her out of her crib, because I was beyond frustrated, so I put her down to take a break, and he didn't like that. So, he picked her up, but then was complaining, because she wouldn't settle, and he says something along the lines of "if you don't go to sleep now, daddy's not going to be able to go into work until like 10". Like yes, being up with her ONCE at 930pm-- before you're even fallen asleep for the night, gives you adequate reason to justify going into work 4 hours late (or calling in sick, which he did the other day!).

It's frustrating. He can claim that he wakes up just as often as I do during the night, but really, not even close. He may stir when she cries, but he (and guys in general) don't have to 'get up' the same way we do. At the end of the night, he still got 8 hours of sleep, with only momentary interruptions. I think it comes from this misconception that at home = sits on your butt all day relaxing and rejuvenating and napping any time you like.

Oh, and yes!! That is very rude of him! You are definitely not chubby, and from what I think we've all seen, you're pretty active, and eat pretty healthy! People are allowed small indulgences and treats every now and then! Could he be feeling self conscious about his own body and health habits, and maybe taking it out on you?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Carrie: you aren't chubby! My goodness!

sex - we are in a good place only because I emphasize that sexy time is contingent on my getting enough sleep. Or at least a reasonable amount. So DH has stepped up helping with kids to bed, and earlier when possible.

Sleep: I don't often get more than 6 total hours . . . I am usually in bed around midnight and up around 6, no later than 7, and woken up at least twice for feedings or the need to pee. I can't sleep while she nurses unless completely wiped out, so it's between 5-30 minutes I am awake for those. I suck at napping, so exist on coffee. Norah is at least finally giving me some longer stretches, which I really need.

Hugs to all those sleep deprived. I have to hope it will get better eventually. Gabe still wakes once a night most nights a week, but DH goes and lays with him.

I like the idea of May - summer vacation wouldn't have started for most families, and it should be plenty warm.

MW: ugh. childcare. why that's always up to the wife, IDK. I nearly had to cancel my eye appt again bc DH forgot or something and had an client scheduled, but I found a friend to do it. I hate that. I love the MC Ball and think if you can find a way, you should go. But that's up to you.

Was not there for the jacuzzi convo. I would say its a combo of Marine and male though. most marines I know don't have the best communication skills. Need to be given direct orders. Even then it's iffy.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Ok, so April/May in NMB/MB area. I'll ask my mom what she could get. In the meantime, we can all be looking at beach houses for rent to compare.








Annie. Yes, that was a classic conversation. A perfect example of how dh doesn't ever seem to understand what I'm saying. That's a my dh thing, though, not a Marine thing. That's why I have asked him ad nauseum to verify with me that he understands what I've said before he goes off and does anything. He still doesn't do that and is dumbfounded when I'm not happy with what he's done. Well, um, you assumed something that was wrong, as usual, and did the wrong thing. It all could have been avoided if you just asked.







After 13 years I've decided it's just stupidity at this point. If not stupidity at not understanding, then at least stupidity at not doing things differently.

I have been to enough MC Balls. They are boring and the food sucks. I really don't have any desire to go to another one. My dh knows this. He has known this for a very long time. I only go to support him. I have never gone when I've had babies less than 2 years old so my not wanting to go this time shouldn't be a shocker for that reason, either. Plus, like I said before, I told him that he needed to find suitable childcare. Again, not like I blindsided him with that. I told him quite a while ago.

JJ ~ Why is your dh not doing more with Tenley at night if she's waking that often and it's not something as simple as just nursing her for a few minutes? Honestly, the only reason I was not completely zombified for the first year is because we co-sleep. The only time I had to actually get up at night was when I had to pee or to change a diaper. I know we've been around about the co-sleeping thing, and I apologize if I'm being dense, but I don't understand why you don't do that. If it's because your dh doesn't want to, I'd tell him to kiss your ass at this point. But, then, it's probably pretty obvious by now that I put my sleep and my kids before my dh getting his rocks off. That's what he's got hands for if he's that desperate.









Carrie ~ I hope I didn't sound like I was minimizing your feelings. I think what your dh said was awful. I was just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn't really that stupid and insensitive.









DH and I did actually go through something similar after I had Ethan. I don't know if I ever told you all the story of when Ethan was around 6-9 months old and we were out shopping and eating lunch. I made an offhand comment that I guess I would just keep the extra pg weight because it wasn't coming off. When we went back to shopping, dh wandered off somewhere for a while. Then when we got back home he started unloading a set of dumbbells from the car. I was like, "What are those for?" He said they were for me to work out so I wouldn't stay fat.







He has since gotten over that.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh no I don't think anyone was insensitive! I appreciate the feedback. Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much unconditional love/friendship from him. I mean, how much do I give back vs what I expect? If we are only dtd 1 or 2 times a month, we never really have couple time, etc, should I really expect him to cook me healthy meals, make sure I rest, be nice to me, watch the kids once in awhile, leave me alone, tell me I'm pretty even when I don't feel pretty, etc? I mean, where is the balance?
OTOH, I'm always telling him verbally and thru hugs and kisses in passing that I love him, we do spend time having good conversations after the kids go to bed sometimes. We still love the same things. We are both interested in fitness/eating healthy. I fully support and encourage him in his career. I don't think I'm ignoring him. I feel like he doesn't see any of that as "love" the way that I would see those things as expressions of love. It's like he needs sex to feel like he matters to me? Sometimes I feel like maybe I just really need to get over myself and just do it so it's not an issue. But I can't do that more than 1x a week. No. Just no. Maybe 2. Maybe.

He slept with Finn last night. LOL. I have to laugh. He lasted 2 hours before he brought him to me to nurse. Then Nora woke up so I had to resettle her. Then FINALLY at around 330 I crashed on the couch and refused to move until my alarm went off at 715. I don't feel like I got any rest but whatever, I'll take it!!

I do think that Chris is just really unhappy that he has put on weight and he thinks it needs to be both of us as equally dedicated to eating clean in order for it to work. I get that. I would be mad if I were trying hard to lose weight and he was eating crap. But not b/c I would feel that I would need to eat it too. And as it is I try not to order pizza or chinese when he is home b/c I know he hates eating heavy like that. I like the convenience, but he really gets upset at how bad for you the food is.

We, as a family, gave up artificial sweeteners and diet soda. It was going great. Then about a week ago he started buying diet for himself. It's a dividing line now b/w us, and it's confusing to me. I talked to him about it, and said I was ok with it as long as he only mixed it with whiskey b/c then Nora cannot reasonably ask for a sip of soda if it has whiskey in it. But I told him NO GUM in the house. None. I won't have it around where she can ask or find a piece herself. My foot is solidly down about the kids not getting that into their bodies.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *MarineWife* 
I know we've been around about the co-sleeping thing, and I apologize if I'm being dense, but I don't understand why you don't do that. If it's because your dh doesn't want to, I'd tell him to kiss your ass at this point. But, then, it's probably pretty obvious by now that I put my sleep and my kids before my dh getting his rocks off. That's what he's got hands for if he's that desperate.







\



> Carrie ~ I hope I didn't sound like I was minimizing your feelings. I think what your dh said was awful. I was just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn't really that stupid and insensitive.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


OMG about the weights!!

I think JJ doesn't bedshare b/c she doesn't get any more sleep b/c it isn't comfortable for her to lay in the same position? Wasn't it hurting your back/neck/legs, JJ?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I think it was something to that effect.

and yes, glad he got over the weights part.

I've been to MC balls that had great food and ones that had sucky food. But I didn't get to go often (I think I've been to a handful) so it's always a bit of a novelty for me. My parents always enjoyed it, regardless of food. (except for one that was for like everyone on base and that was ridic)

Soda: my weird, completely nonsense rule is that I do caffeine or calories, but not both. So I do diet coke/pepsi and regular rootbeer. DS is allowed sips of the rootbeer, and mom bought a natural orange pineapple soda that he can have with dinner. no caffeine, sweetened with real sugar (they have a soda stream for making various sodas at home). Rootbeer is mainly allowed when there just aren't other options, and we generally have a point of sharing things, except for choking hazards, with the kids. It's forced us all to be a bit healthier in our habits. DH does buy regular pepsi on occasion, but no one else drinks it. Gabe doesn't even ask. I think after I am done with this pregnancy, and maybe the first 6 months or so of nursing, we will hit family health hardcore. (during pregnancy and early nursing I need all the calories and fat I can get, and hopefully I will have some more energy for excersise by then) I hate having to put it off, but it's unrealistic to try to do before then.

Carrie, have you or DH ever read the love languages book? And I totally agree that if one person's love language is being fulfilled (sex, touch, gifts, words, etc) they tend to be alot more reciprocol. At least that works here. Right now, my love language is sleep.

And MW: the time/location works for me.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I've read some interesting conversations about the idea of unconditional love in my unschooling group. Some people just don't think it's possible. That doesn't meant that they don't try to treat people as well as they can. They think it's virtually impossible for a person to have absolutely no judgments or opinions about another person. I certainly have deal breakers with my dh or anyone else for that matter. The only people that I think I could continue to love no matter what they did are my kids. But, that doesn't mean that I could absolutely accept anything they did, either, like if one of them purposefully seriously harmed or killed the other.

Have you read the book, _The Five Love Languages_? DH and I learned a lot about how the other gives and receives love. Sex is a big one for dh. Not so much for me. He even said something to me once along the lines of sex being a big expression of our love in and of itself. I just don't feel it that way. I have to feel loved in other ways before I'm interested in sex. I've also noticed that now that I'm done having babies, I have very little interest in sex at all. I kind of feel like I could go the rest of my life without it and be fine, like there's really not much point if I'm trying to get pg. I mean, it feels good for a few moments but big whoop. I've got better things to do.









Ok, so, just throwing this out there for you to consider. If you are going to put strict rules on what he can eat in his own home, isn't it only fair that he can do the same to you? I get your position and I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying that maybe your snacky things are to him what his diet sodas and gum are to you.

I cannot not eat sweets if they are in the house. If I want to avoid them, they cannot be here. I have no will power when it comes to that. My dh can not touch them at all. I actually jokingly told him the other day that I had figured out how to diet and lose weight. Rather than eating a bunch of healthy food that I don't enjoy and cutting out the sweets, I'd cut out the healthy food and eat only sweets. That would cut back on my total calories so I'd still lose weight, right?







I might not feel so good after a while but I'd fit into my skinny jeans.









Quote:


> I think JJ doesn't bedshare b/c she doesn't get any more sleep b/c it isn't comfortable for her to lay in the same position? Wasn't it hurting your back/neck/legs, JJ?


I guess my thing with this is that if you aren't getting any sleep either way, why not at least lay down in bed with baby so you can get some rest and aren't always UP. KWIM? At least, that's what works for me. If I'm absolutely knocked out, zombified exhausted, I will lay down on the couch or in the bed and let the baby crawl all over me, alternately letting him nurse when he wants and crawl/flop/squirm. At least then I can rest my eyes and brain a little. If I'm really exhausted at night and D is just not ready for bed, I take him to bed and let him play around in the room while I lie in the bed. Anything to get at least a few minutes of rest.

I certainly wouldn't be staying up cooking and cleaning and doing dishes at any time that baby was sleeping. I'm probably sounding kind of harsh now but if I were that exhausted, I would let everything else go except sleep/rest whenever I could. I would expect my dh to do all the cooking and cleaning if he weren't really helping with the baby. Stop trying to do everything in the home yourself. You have your day job of taking care of the kids while your dh has his day job wherever he goes. When you are both home, the home and family is a job for both of you. You should not be doing all or even most of it. If your dh gets pissy about that, he needs to grow up. I'm sorry but I think too many women take on too much because the men whine about it. Too effing bad, men! OK, getting off my


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

If I read it, should he read it? I got a sample on my kindle and liked what I read. It was really interesting.

Hmm, maybe unconditional is the wrong term. Unreciprocal I think I mean. But maybe right now is just the season where he needs to give a little more than receive??

No, you're right. If I place health/well being restrictions I suppose he can too. I think what bugs me is he seems to be doing his restricting based off appearances (i.e. not finding me attractive) whereas I feel my restrictions are more for the good of the family/health.

I also didn't like it when he was doing fasts. He was thin, but was only drinking smoothies and eating steamed broccoli or green beans for WEEKS. It bothered me and I worried for his health. I didn't say he couldn't do it though. I just told him I felt uneasy.

LOL and i'm with you! Can I skip all the healthy stuff and salad and only eat chips and fries? As long as I only eat the same amount of calories, it should work, right?









I think my love language is sleep, too. Or food.

I'm totally going to nap today. Dishes/wash be damned!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I agree about unconditional love. I don't think I'd ever not love my kids, but I certainly don't love everything they do.

And yes, I think there are seasons in a relationship where one person is giving more than the other, and that's ok, so long as it's not the whole marriage (unless both partners are ok with that, but I think the one giving would feel resentful after a while) My sister and her husband are like that - I feel like her husband gives too much. But I'm not in that marriage, and glad not to be!

And yes, Carrie, if he'll read it (or listen, I'm sure its an audiobook) that would be good. so everyone is on the same page, so to speak

I felt that way when DH was doing Atkins. I just don't feel it's healthy to put your body into a state of ketosis. I agreed eating less carbs was reasonable, and would cook a low carb dinner, but made no efforts otherwise.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

The Love Languages book would prob be very helpful. My primary is acts of service and secondary is gifts. DH's primary is words of affirmation and secondary is physical touch. We have to work really hard because there's no overlap. He'll tell me all day long how much he appreciates me and the things I do for our family and I'm all, yeah that's nice now pick up the scrub brush and clean the toilet! And I work my butt off and all DH wants is for me to tell him that he's a good daddy. :/


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I'm kind of on that kind of diet Baby_Cakes and MW! I go all day without eating and then shove food in my face the whole time I'm at work. When we were in Williamsburg, I didn't make a point to eat much on Saturday. So then I had to eat a ton on Sunday to make up for it. My DH does crazy diets. I just ignore it most of the time. Kids aren't allowed artificial sweetners or caffeine because it sends them over the edge.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ I get what you are saying about the food restrictions. That's why I said maybe he's not meaning that you are unattractive. Thin may mean healthy to him. KWIM? And, if he's put on weight, he probably needed to. I can't imagine him thinner. I don't think that would be attractive. I don't like really skinny, though. I like a man with muscles.

I also agree that each partner will give and receive more at different times in the relationship. I don't think it's ever 50/50. As long as it ebbs and flows, it's ok. If it says one always giving 80% and the other only doing 20% for years without change, then there is an issue, imo.

I think it's important for both people to read the book. You can't read it and tell the other one about it. I think it's more about learning what your partner's love language is so that you can recognize and appreciate when s/he expresses it and you can make an effort to give love in their language at least some times. I don't even remember what our love languages are anymore. I think dh's was gifts and acts of service and mine was quality time or talking (I don't even remember what any of them are now) and touch (but not sexual). For me at this point, it's more about just recognizing when dh does something loving that I may not automatically interpret that way. I can send you my copy if I can find it.

I don't like my kids to have artificial sweeteners ever or caffeine after 5 pm. That doesn't mean they don't ever get either of those. I think people think I'm crazy when I suggest they get gum with sugar (although maybe it's HFCS) instead of sugar-free. The caffeine thing is because I'm so sensitive to it that I can't sleep if I have any later in the day. Not everyone is like that, though, so I've been slowly letting that one go. If dh can drink a cup of coffee right before bed and fall asleep within seconds of laying down, that kind of blows my reasoning for the kids not having caffeine after 5 pm out of the water.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

BTW, JJ ~ you can smack me and tell me to stfu.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ Why is your dh not doing more with Tenley at night if she's waking that often and it's not something as simple as just nursing her for a few minutes? Honestly, the only reason I was not completely zombified for the first year is because we co-sleep. The only time I had to actually get up at night was when I had to pee or to change a diaper. I know we've been around about the co-sleeping thing, and I apologize if I'm being dense, but I don't understand why you don't do that. If it's because your dh doesn't want to, I'd tell him to kiss your ass at this point. But, then, it's probably pretty obvious by now that I put my sleep and my kids before my dh getting his rocks off. That's what he's got hands for if he's that desperate.


He tries sometimes, but it's not much help. If I go in and soothe her, and she's not having it, then I nurse her, and she'd down again. (Most times), so even though she's getting up every hour, she's asleep again within 5 and I'm back in bed within 10-15 (again, usually). But if I send him in- it'll take her... well, I don't know. Usually after 15 minutes of full on shrieking, he hands her back. He can get her to sleep at the beginning of the night now that she's going to sleep in her crib rather than in arms-- but during the night-- ONLY mama will do. So yeah... he tries, but it just ends up being more headache. The only thing we could do is the whole cold turkey- daddy's going in for every wakeup for a night or two, until she gets used to it. But I don't think we're ready for that. I can't listen to her cry That much and for That long. Not yet.

Oh no, DH would cosleep no problem. He's not displaced in the bed, I am. lol. In fact, more often than not, if she comes into bed before 5am, it's because he's brought her in. He'll go get her in an attempt to see if he can soothe her, but it doesn't work, and so after a few minutes, he'll just pop her in bed beside us.

I like the idea of co-sleeping. I really do. And in small doses, I love it. But after a whole night, I just end up SO sore. There's not enough room in our bed for all three of us to sleep comfortably, combined with Ten wanting to nurse a lot more often when she's that close to me. So I end up basically laying on my side on the edge of the bed... and that's all the room and movement I get. By morning I feel like someone beat me up. Good nights, when she only nurses every 2 hours, are fantastic. And I think I could do that full-time. But the majority of the time, where she nurses every 40-45 minutes all night long... they just wear on me so much. We tried putting her on her mattress in the room with us, but it was no different than her in her own room, only she crawled off the edge of the bed. lol. And we keep revisiting the sidecarred crib, but when we're honest with ourselves, it won't fit. Not really. We could put it in, but then we'd barely be able to move around the bed.

I'm --considering-- asking DH to sleep on the couch for two nights, and seeing if Tenley and I sleep better in the bed with more space. If we did, I would bite the bullet and buy a king size bed, even though we really can't afford it right now. But I don't want to ask him to sleep on the couch., Not that he wouldn't, but just for long detailed reasons I won't get into-- I don't want to do it.

Anyways... I started this reply window this morning when I got up, and am just now actually responding, so I'm going to go see what I missed today!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

This is old but I've had thoughts in my head waiting to comment on this for a few days!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> . Like... Yes, newborns are hard-- but I'm breastfeeding, and babywearing, and had a natural birth, and we bond lots, and cuddle and coo, and bedshare sometimes--- so why isn't it easier? You get this misguided belief that AP= easy. And it doesn't. I think in some ways it makes it harder (not saying it is not very important and I'm not very behind it still), but I think it makes it harder, because if I were a mainstream parent, right-- I'd just say well hell, this is hard, and I'm tired- and I'd ferberize her, sleep all night, then hire a babysitter and go out with my husband twice a week and get drunk. And when breastfeeding started getting time consuming, well then I'd just switch her to formula, and night wean her... and if my lap got sick of being full all the time, I'd just make her play alone... etc etc.
> 
> Kwim? There's so many more demands on you when you're an AP parent. And I know that it's still the right thing to do. As hard as it is, it FEELS right. But it's harder than you think it's going to be, or should be, for doing things the 'right' way.


I honestly never thought AP meant easier. I always thought of it as doing what came naturally to me. Things that seemed wrong or that could possibly be harmful have huge red flags for me, and I often don't trust doctors (especially when it comes to sleep and nutrition), so many things that ap parents do, like bf, cosleep, and not sleep train, seem like a no brainer to me.

That said...

First babies are a slap in the face. You get pg, you dream about it, you day dream about it, you give birth and suddenly -- OMG WHAT DID WE DOOO!?

I still think that the rewards for AP are down the road a ways. Right now it's all about laying the foundation and gaining their trust and respect. Shortcuts now to me seem like a quick fix (like sleep training) but I couldn't bear the thought of holding that guilt for the rest of my (and my childs) life. You know?


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

This is great discussion about the love languages. I really should get it from the library and have DH and I both read it. We really are the opposite, like many of you said. DH's is definitely sex. Mine is... I don't know. Maybe sleep, or whatever cleaning translates too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by *MarineWife* 


> I guess my thing with this is that if you aren't getting any sleep either way, why not at least lay down in bed with baby so you can get some rest and aren't always UP. KWIM? At least, that's what works for me. If I'm absolutely knocked out, zombified exhausted, I will lay down on the couch or in the bed and let the baby crawl all over me, alternately letting him nurse when he wants and crawl/flop/squirm. At least then I can rest my eyes and brain a little. If I'm really exhausted at night and D is just not ready for bed, I take him to bed and let him play around in the room while I lie in the bed. Anything to get at least a few minutes of rest.
> I certainly wouldn't be staying up cooking and cleaning and doing dishes at any time that baby was sleeping. I'm probably sounding kind of harsh now but if I were that exhausted, I would let everything else go except sleep/rest whenever I could. I would expect my dh to do all the cooking and cleaning if he weren't really helping with the baby. Stop trying to do everything in the home yourself. You have your day job of taking care of the kids while your dh has his day job wherever he goes. When you are both home, the home and family is a job for both of you. You should not be doing all or even most of it. If your dh gets pissy about that, he needs to grow up. I'm sorry but I think too many women take on too much because the men whine about it. Too effing bad, men! OK, getting off my


It's just that I get about the same amount of sleep either way, but when she sleeps in her crib, then at least I don't wake up sore, you know? I'm still tired, but at least I'm not tired and in pain. I have been working on arranging pillows etc the last few days, and it's getting easier (She's been sick, so she's been in bed with us a lot). It's just still not 'comfortable'. In some ways too, the getting out of bed helps, because it breaks it up. I have periods of sleep. now I'm up with tenley. Now I'm sleeping. Now I'm up again. etc etc. When I'm in bed with her, it starts melding together, and then it feels like I've been up with her all night long, and had no 'sleep' time. I don't know if that makes sense, I know I'm weird 

And LOL, you really are down on men! haha It's very very very rarely DH that would ever complain about the cleanliness of the house. And he's not the one complaining about cosleeping either. That's all on me. As much as he can be a doozie and say the stupidest things, really, he's a good and helpful husband (or he tries to be...) My standards are just a lot higher than his. It's like... ok. yes. I could go to bed immediately when Tenley falls asleep. But because I haven't had time to settle and turn my brain off and just... unwind from the day- I'm likely to spend two hours falling asleep getting frustrated, while I think about all the things that I want to do and respond to on FB or just... get out of my brain. Or... I can spend an hour or so doing a quick kitchen clean, and having some quiet time on the internet... and then I'll actually be able to sleep peacefully (albeit being up often) knowing that my house is tidy and my brain is empty  Either way, I'm not getting more rest, but one I feel more settled.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> This is old but I've had thoughts in my head waiting to comment on this for a few days!!
> 
> ...


Oh yes, I mean I'm not saying that AP was a choice because it was "easy", it's a choice because it just... feels right. I just meant that like... it feels like with babywearing, and breastfeeding and responding to baby's needs-- that they should be happier  And easier to deal with as a result. I know it's not as easy as that, obviously, but it seems like it should be! lol

I mean even now though right, I can see the differences. We go places and people are like "She's such a happy baby!!" And I'm kind of like well... that's because she's held, and secure, and her needs are met. She crawls away from me at lightening speed, giggling like a fiend, because she knows I'll be there for her when she turns around. This shit didn't come easy! lol And I know that the effects will just get more and more noticable.

So... Ten got sick a few days ago, and Dh the same day. I thought I made it past it, but we just went down for a heavenly family nap, and when I woke up I felt like death. I think my body was like "Oh, she's down! Ok, start teh sick NOW!" lol So yeah... very nice cuddled up in bed for a solid hour good sleep... but now I feel bad. Bad bad bad. I downed a cup of tea, which was wonderful, and just took pulsatilla. I wonder how much tea is too much? I feel like I could drink it all night long. I know just honey and lemon is supposed to be good too, so maybe I'll switch to that.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Having Ava's crib sidecarred is a huge pain. But I seriously would have lost my mind if I was walking somewhere every 45 mins when she was waking. It was hard enough when I would have to go get more milk every couple of wakeups. It's not permanent. I would really try it.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Ava has been sick since yesterday. Started with a fever yesterday morning. I took her to the doctor but lungs, ears and throat were clear. Vomiting started today. And she had the worst poop dipe, I seriously considered throwing it away. She finally started to perk up tonight, right at bedtime. But she went to sleep about 10:45 so hopefully she'll get some rest.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I wish I could wave a magic wand and everyone would be healthy for a bit. Hope Carrie, JJ, Ava, etc are feeling better!

Co-sleeping - DH clings to his edge of the bed and we have the rest of the king - and the side car, LOL. The only thing he doesn't much like about it is that it's hard to cuddle, bc often the baby is between us. Last night she slept with her head practically up his butt. Neither one moved much all night, kinda funny. When she was smaller and younger, she wasn't between us often, now she usually is, so when I get up to pee, or just to be up for the day, she can easily cuddle with him if need be.

I am going to need a nap today.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ ~ I was thinking that, why not just get a bigger bed? I struggled a lot when Kellen was a baby. I was sore a lot from sleeping with him. It took a while for me to get settles to a point where I could sleep comfortably with everyone. I had a lot of trouble, too, when dh came home and tried to fit in the bed with the rest of us. Adding that twin next to our king was very helpful. We all have plenty of room now. There's just enough room on one side of the bed to get into the closet. On the other side, there's just enough to fit the little table but the corner of the bed is almost right up against the dresser/changing table so we don't really have room to move around it, if that makes sense.

Yeah, I am down on men a lot but I've heard too many stories about women taking crap from men and thinking they just had to. Men acting like babies and expecting their wives to do everything because they earned the money. That's a bunch of shit and really pisses me off and I don't want any woman to feel like she has to put up with that. But there's more to it than that. Even when everyone thinks the man is doing his fair share, he really isn't (usually). The woman still does way, way more.

On that note, if it's you that can't let things go, work on that. If you are so exhausted that you are having a hard time taking care of your baby, let everything else go. Get some sleep and don't worry about the rest. Really. It's not that big of a deal.

I hope everyone is feeling better.

We have my MW's homebirth reunion party today! I can't wait to see everyone again (although, I doubt the MW who was actually at Dylan's birth will be there







).


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh the party sounds so nice! Too bad yours won't be there! I miss my mw. I hear stories about her now and then (good ones!) and I miss her energy.

*JJ* - I hear you! This is how I felt when Nora hit 3. I remember crying to Chris and to Diane (b/c at the time she and I were still close) that I didn't understand. I had a natural birth, bedshared, didn't CIO, I ebf her for 8 months, and did BLW!! I don't hit or time out or punish or yell or ANYTHING! WHY was she a maniac?!? Why did she hit, bite, spit, throw tantrums, call me names, refuse to listen??? WHO WAS THIS GIRL!? I would cry and cry. Tell Chris that in my heart I felt like I failed as a mom. That obv I am not cut out for this. That AP is bullshit b/c I could have this same child if I didn't do any of those things!!

All this to say -- I stick with it b/c I hope/feel some day it will pay off big time. I still have hope! She hasn't broken me yet!

Also - fuuuuuck to being sick! It's the worst!!

*Lauri* - Poor Ava! Hang in there.

I'm sick too. I was up almost half the night with a fever. There was Finn, finally sleeping hard and barely waking up (for the first time in what feels like 100 years), Nora was sound asleep...and I was burning up and had a massive headache. Well played, life. Well fucking played.

I also had to call poison control this morning b/c Finn got my bottle of ibuprofen open! Don't trust those childproof caps. I know it was clicked closed. Then I look down and he's sitting there in a pile of pills, chewing! I had no idea how he got it open! I quickly picked them all up, counted them (thank GAWD it was a new bottle and I knew how many had been in there). He sucked the coating off of six. Poison control said he will be just fine. NOT what I needed to start this day!!!

Oh - chris and I had a good heart to heart last night about what's been going on.

It was perfect. We sat and chatted and had some wine, etc. I felt like we were really reconnecting and then after an hour, I was ready to go to bed. He gave me this look like, are we going to do anything tonight? So...I took that opportunity to explain to him that he and I feel very differently about this. That sitting and talking and laughing to me WAS intimacy. That this is what I need to feel close to him and to patch up the holes that keep cropping up in our relationship. I didn't understand why it wasn't enough for him, and didn't he like chatting or was he sitting there thinking it was a waste of time?

He was like, no, but that (his words here) the conversation was dinner and he also likes dessert. I told him too often he just wants/demands dessert. That in order for us to have sex more often, we need to have more dinner! Make sure I'm fed, rested, and THEN we can order whatever he wants.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Gah, whatever this is that Ava picked up suuuuuuucks! Fever is back. She kept bringing me the Motrin and I kept telling her no that she didn't have a fever soI wasn't going to give her medicine. Finally felt her head and the fever is back. :/ Need to stop arguing with the 1 yr old apparently.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Gah, whatever this is that Ava picked up suuuuuuucks! Fever is back. She kept bringing me the Motrin and I kept telling her no that she didn't have a fever soI wasn't going to give her medicine. Finally felt her head and the fever is back. :/ Need to stop arguing with the 1 yr old apparently.


I know it's been a week, but I hope she didn't catch it from Finn. Sounds like what he had with the high fever that kept coming back. :-(

Confused. Yesterday Finn only nursed when he woke up and then when he went down for nap. I offered a few times before bed but he didn't want it. Nursed only one side to go to sleep. Slept great last night, nursed maybe 3 times (?) but at least one was half hearted. WTH? He went from 6-8 times a day last week (plus night time) to this. Crazy baby. I'll just keep offering. I'm not ready for him to drop down that much.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ That sounds like a good conversation. Hopefully, he'll get what you meant and do something about it.

I was talking to my friend just yesterday about how, to a large extent, you parent won't make a big difference in your child's behavior unless you are very extreme. By that I mean that all kids go through the same general stages/phases. The point in AP for me is not to have some amazingly well-behaved child but to have a safe, close relationship with my children so that they are comfortable being themselves. Experienced radical unschoolers will say that they didn't experience the teen rebellion that everyone in our society thinks is normal. They say it's because the teens have been treated in a way so that there isn't anything to rebel against.

Haha, Annie! That girl knows what she needs. It sounds like she has what we had the week before we went to Williamsburg, fever and vomiting. Not fun!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Baby_Cakes, I don't think it's what Finn had but I could be wrong. She's miserable and he seemed in ok spirits once you guys got there. It's almost like she has a stomach flu. She slept four hours on Thursday during the day. That's so not Ava!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Poor ava!! Sending well wishes!!

Alysia, that's true. I care more about having a good relationship with them as they get older, an open and trusting one, than how they actually behave. Especially now as children and toddlers.

Can i say too that lately i love love love having an almost 4 year old and a 1 year old? I love how they are playing together, how they can usually work out their disagreements by themselves, they entertain each other. They make me laugh! I'm looking fwd to so much! I'm really looking fwd to the holidays this year, too. Already thinking of Christmas!

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Lots of fun, Carrie!

I just checked out timeshares in NMB/MB. There are a lot! There's a whole resort complex with cottages and condos. The cottages appear to be only 3 or 4 bedrooms so that probably wouldn't work for us unless we get a couple more families. I'm counting 5 families, me, Carrie, Annie, Katrina and JJ. If little annie could somehow swing it, we might be able to get two 3 bedroom cottages. Otherwise, there are condos like the ones we stayed in at Williamsburg. I think we can get various combos of bedrooms and lock offs, especially the earlier we book. I'm trying to find out when the season starts because it will be more then. It makes sense to me that it would be sometime at the end of May but it may start in April because it does get warm then. I remember sunbathing at the beach in February there.

I've sent an email to my mom so I'll let you know what she says when she answers me.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Lots of fun, Carrie!
> I just checked out timeshares in NMB/MB. There are a lot! There's a whole resort complex with cottages and condos. The cottages appear to be only 3 or 4 bedrooms so that probably wouldn't work for us unless we get a couple more families. I'm counting 5 families, me, Carrie, Annie, Katrina and JJ. If little annie could somehow swing it, we might be able to get two 3 bedroom cottages. Otherwise, there are condos like the ones we stayed in at Williamsburg. I think we can get various combos of bedrooms and lock offs, especially the earlier we book. I'm trying to find out when the season starts because it will be more then. It makes sense to me that it would be sometime at the end of May but it may start in April because it does get warm then. I remember sunbathing at the beach in February there.
> I've sent an email to my mom so I'll let you know what she says when she answers me.


We are going to have to let you know. :-( Chris says no more trips until after we find a new house and move. BOOO. Tho -- if it's as cheap as the timeshare we just did I bet I can finagle him.

Kat - 3 weeks til Norah's first bday means 3 weeks til you spill the beans about the bean, right!?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Bah. Baby_Cakes, tell Chris you'll be on the Lauri budget for the next trip. Other than the money for the room and the tank of gas to get there and back, I spent under $25 and that includes the wine I brought! Of course, I didn't have big kids to keep entertained. Ava is still sick. Fever and vomiting came back. Still having pee dipes and mouth is moist so trying to not freak out.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh the party sounds so nice! Too bad yours won't be there! I miss my mw. I hear stories about her now and then (good ones!) and I miss her energy.
> 
> ...


Yes! Like yes, I know what I'm doing is the right thing. I know that in my heart. She needs my milk, she needs my cuddles, she needs to know I'm there. But you just feel like.... I should see a payoff from this sooner! lol

And yes to the dinner/dessert! I always tell DH that he's forgetting that we don't 'warm up[ the same way men do. Men's warmup: "Sex". Woman's warmup: clean the kitchen, then offer to let me read in bed, and then rub my back, or my feet and let me realx and unwind from the day. And THEN I'm much more likely to be in the mood.

And that sounds terrifying with Finn! You're right! Thankfully it was a new bottle!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Gah, whatever this is that Ava picked up suuuuuuucks! Fever is back. She kept bringing me the Motrin and I kept telling her no that she didn't have a fever soI wasn't going to give her medicine. Finally felt her head and the fever is back. :/ Need to stop arguing with the 1 yr old apparently.


haha!! Lesson in trusting baby?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Lots of fun, Carrie!
> I just checked out timeshares in NMB/MB. There are a lot! There's a whole resort complex with cottages and condos. The cottages appear to be only 3 or 4 bedrooms so that probably wouldn't work for us unless we get a couple more families. I'm counting 5 families, me, Carrie, Annie, Katrina and JJ. If little annie could somehow swing it, we might be able to get two 3 bedroom cottages. Otherwise, there are condos like the ones we stayed in at Williamsburg. I think we can get various combos of bedrooms and lock offs, especially the earlier we book. I'm trying to find out when the season starts because it will be more then. It makes sense to me that it would be sometime at the end of May but it may start in April because it does get warm then. I remember sunbathing at the beach in February there.
> I've sent an email to my mom so I'll let you know what she says when she answers me.


Sounds good. Keep us updated!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Annie ~ That is amazing to me that you only spent $25 all weekend. Good for you!

We probably wouldn't spend much more at MB other than food/eating out. I would mostly want to lay on the beach. Oh, there is Alligator Adventure. We would have to do that. And maybe the Ripley's museum only because I always mean to go to one of those and never do. Has anyone been to a Ripley's museum? Is there really truly freaky stuff or is it all hype?

If I ever have time, I'm also going to check with the travel agency on base about houses down there to get an idea. Are we wanting to go for a whole week this time, 7 nights, or just another long weekend?


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I've been to Ripleys in Atlantic city. It was fun! Some neat stuff, some not. Worth it, i think it was only $7 or $10 to get in. And there are always coupons.

Not much on the plan today except Sam's club probably. Getting better here! I hope all of us and our babies are on the mend!

Oh - Lauri or Alysia - did either of you come across a die cast Tow Mater car? We can't find it and I was thinking it got tossed in with other toys? We can buy another one but if someone has it I'd like to stop looking! LOL!

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Everyone here has a cold except Kellen, so far. DH is trying to disinfect everything and it's annoying me. I keep trying to move us to a more reusable home, cleaning with sponges and cloths that can be washed and reused. He insists on using those disinfectant wipes over and over. A waste of money and creation of unnecessary trash! Plus, it will result in the opposite effect of what he wants.

I was thinking Ethan and Kellen might have fun in Ripleys if it's truly weird stuff. If it's just the same stuff as other museums, maybe not so much. I think the one in MB is an aquarium type one. I remember something about a sand shark. Those things are ugly and freaky with the snaggletoothed mouths but we've seen one several times.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Baby_Cakes, I haven't seen Tow Mater but I'll look through Ava's toys again.

MW, I'll do some looking online this evening at work to compare house rentals.

I was thinking about vacations that we've done with the big kids and I didn't spend that much money either. I'm cheap. Like really, really cheap. When we went to Philly a few years ago over 4th of July, I would plan one thing per day that would cost us money. Otherwise, everything we did was a free activity. So for instance, one day, our non-free activity was getting ice cream at the Franklin Fountain. I packed our lunches, drinks and snacks, we ate dinner in the hotel room from stuff that I cooked and the hotel had a free breakfast every morning. Another day, our non-free activity was eating dinner out to get philly cheesesteaks. When we would go to Myrtle Beach, other than the gas to get there and back, we really didn't spend money. I would go to the grocery store and buy groceries for the week but I would have spent that money even if we stayed home. We used to have a traveling membership to our local children's museum and that would let us get in other children's museums and science museums for free. I'm going to start doing that membership again probably in the winter when Ava starts walking so she can enjoy our children's museum. I don't buy souvenirs for the kids. When we go somewhere, we pick out a magnet from the gift shop for our door and that's it. They know not to ask for anything.

Ava is still sick. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I get it. Still spiking a fever, vomiting and runny dipes. I try to hold off on the motrin until her fever gets above 102 but sometimes she starts moaning and is just miserable until I give her motrin to bring her fever down. Leaving her to go to work this morning was hard because even though she's convinced that her Dada hung the moon and stars just for her, when she's sick, she just wants me.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Ava is still sick. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I get it. Still spiking a fever, vomiting and runny dipes. I try to hold off on the motrin until her fever gets above 102 but sometimes she starts moaning and is just miserable until I give her motrin to bring her fever down. Leaving her to go to work this morning was hard because even though she's convinced that her Dada hung the moon and stars just for her, when she's sick, she just wants me.










Poor baby girl!! It's so hard when they are sick and you have to leave them. So hard. Ugh.

I think I want to buy a video monitor. What one do you have? I don't want to spend too much (DH won't go for it) but I'm starting to get nervous when Finn coughs or cries but then goes back to sleep on our bed. I can't put a rail on our bed and he can't get down yet. Is it worth the investment?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


For my peace of mind, yes, it's worth it. Ava doesn't always make noise when she wakes up and she's not good at getting off the bed yet by herself. Here's the one I have. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12818299 Maybe you could find a used one on craigslist? I think it would still be a good investment, especially if the next house you get is 2-story.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Thanks! That's practically the one I had in mind.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12818299

I'm starting to get nervous when Finn coughs or cries out but then falls back asleep on my bed. I can't put a rail on it, and he can't get down off it yet.

I think I can use a coupon. I'm thinking about just buying it. Chris would be annoyed if I do it but I'm kind of at the point where he goes and buys power tools and computers and phones and nonsense all the time, and this is something that will really help me not worry.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Thanks! That's practically the one I had in mind.
> 
> ...


Yeah I'm sure you could find a 20% off coupon and if he buys power tools w/out consulting you, why not?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Wow, this condo is a great deal...http://www.vrbo.com/219238


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ Go for it! I just bought a new laptop that dh did not want me to buy but I'm tired of mine crashing on me and the boys not being able to play games. He thinks I'm being overly indulgent by spending a little more for a computer that will play games better. Oh well.

We haven't seen Tow Mater but we keep a look out.

I hope Ava is better soon! So far, I'm not too bad. Just some throat and sinus pain and a headache. I do feel sort of hot and flushed but I haven't taken my temp so I don't know if I have a fever.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

That is an awesome deal, Annie! Should we just book it?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> That is an awesome deal, Annie! Should we just book it?


I don't know. I'd kind of like to see if there is a similar floor plan that we had in Williamsburg in the timeshares first. Looking at the common space in that condo, it might get cramped, you know? It was nice to have two kitchens and two living rooms. But if there isn't a similar floor plan, this condo seems like a good option.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

That is a great deal! though I think if we are going to do a whole week, that more common space might come in handy.

I hope Ava is feeling better soon.

Rebellious teenagers . . . I don't think either my sister or I were particularly rebellious. There were things to rebel against - our parents weren't super strict, but they did have clear rules and expectations. She was probably more rebellious than I was, and if anything, mom was more lax with her. Chantelle just has always pushed boundaries and been difficult. I think some kids just are (regardless of parenting, to an extent). I also agree somewhat with the biblical proverb: raise up your child in the way they should go, and when the are old, they will not depart from it. Meaning, to me, that yes, kids are going to push boundaries, rebel a bit, maybe even depart entirely, but as we age, we tend to return to our roots. I want to give my kids a firm foundation, a good root system, to return to. I also want to encourage them to have wings, and explore - I want to be their safety net. It's such a hard balance though - even at this age, because I don't want to be that parent that hovers at the playground, I want Gabe (and Norah when she's ready) to try all the things they think they can, but I also want them to be safe.

I want them to always be free to tell me anything, but also have the freedom to have and keep secrets . . .I don't want to be their friend - not yet - I think that backfired on DH and MIL. right now their relationship is very strained (MIL's fault - she doesn't think sometimes). my mom and I weren't friendly at all growing up. I don't think we liked each other very much back then. But now - I can say that we are friendly. I don't hesitate to tell her things. I love our relationship now. IDK .. . I will need to think more. I agree only so much we do as parents can have the effect we want - we have to work with the children we are given, and some kids are more open than others. I am rambling.

Carrie: yes - 3 weeks until the beans are spilled! DH and MIL had a convo this weekend that left him reeling a bit. We were driving a scion xB - awesome gas mileage, just paid off, but it was tiny - it barely fit our 2 kids and a stroller, we didn't even have room for a big grocery trip. We got a great deal on that minivan, and she doesn't understand why we got it, and went into debt. Even without baby #3, we needed more space, really, really did. It's a way to rebuild credit after the bankruptcy. The car payment on that is less than what the xB was by far, and the insurance is less, so I know we can swing it. She just doesn't get it. DH said he has an opportunity to pick up some more massage clients, and instead of being happy that he would be getting more work, and therefore more $$, she seemed bothered that the money wouldn't go towards helping her with some of DH's car payment (long standing agreement that she'd pay for the car, and he'd pay for student loans) She can easily afford the car payment (and all the other stuff she needs and wants, she has a well paying job) - but acts like she's completely broke. It frustrates him to no end. Anyway. She is going to flip when she finds out. Which is why we are announcing it company vs one-on-one. I don't need that drama or negativity.

OK, that's enough of a book! LOL


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Carrie: yes - 3 weeks until the beans are spilled! DH and MIL had a convo this weekend that left him reeling a bit. We were driving a scion xB - awesome gas mileage, just paid off, but it was tiny - it barely fit our 2 kids and a stroller, we didn't even have room for a big grocery trip. We got a great deal on that minivan, and she doesn't understand why we got it, and went into debt. Even without baby #3, we needed more space, really, really did. It's a way to rebuild credit after the bankruptcy. The car payment on that is less than what the xB was by far, and the insurance is less, so I know we can swing it. She just doesn't get it. DH said he has an opportunity to pick up some more massage clients, and instead of being happy that he would be getting more work, and therefore more $$, she seemed bothered that the money wouldn't go towards helping her with some of DH's car payment (long standing agreement that she'd pay for the car, and he'd pay for student loans) She can easily afford the car payment (and all the other stuff she needs and wants, she has a well paying job) - but acts like she's completely broke. It frustrates him to no end. Anyway. She is going to flip when she finds out. Which is why we are announcing it company vs one-on-one. I don't need that drama or negativity.


GRRRR it's so redic that people can't see babies as a good thing no matter what! We are rooting for you and support you!

Going out for red robin for lunch! MMm can't wait!

Chris is going to VA tonight and will be back late tmw night. He's taking the train.

Gorgeous weather today! Going to finish my coffee and then shower and maybe have time outside for a bit before meeting up w/my friend for lunch.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I know. While I can agree the timing isn't the best ever, at least be happy about new life. babies are miracles.

Enjoy your day! Gabe has Kindermusik (AKA Daddy-son bonding time) so hopefully I can get some work done. I am lacking in motivation this morning. ugh. really need to go grocery shopping.

Red Robin! yumm! though a burger without cheese is just wrong 

Want to get out for lunch . . . deciding on what.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Red Robin! yumm! though a burger without cheese is just wrong
> 
> Want to get out for lunch . . . deciding on what.


Well...it's a meatless burger with no cheese...so at that point does it even matter? LOL. Who cares? Endless fries!

Nora is a chatterbox in my ear this morning. I need more patience!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Kat ~ I like your analogy of the root system.

My main thing is to do my best to have a good, loving relationship with my kids now because I may not get a future with them. There is only here and now. I want to make this moment the best that it can be. If I do that and do have a long future with my kids, then most of our moments will be good and our relationship will be good.

My mom answered me. She said something about a timeshare that has up to 6 bedrooms, a couple fold out sofas and two living areas/kitchens. I think that's the one I told you all about initially that is across Ocean Blvd. so we'd have to drive to the beach. That probably wouldn't be a problem since they have shuttles and a private parking area with cabana across the street from the beach. Of course, it would probably be easier if we were right there but that's ok.

I think I prefer all of us being in the same place together. I really liked hanging out with everyone together. I felt a little left out having to go to my family unit to eat and whatnot.







If we do get more than one unit, I would at least want the lock-off set up so the kids can wander back and forth without us having to take them out and around or whatever.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Well...it's a meatless burger with no cheese...so at that point does it even matter? LOL. Who cares? Endless fries!


Haha! That's what I was thinking. I didn't know RR had endless fries. We don't usually get to that point. We fill up on everything else first. I'm not a fan of burgers or RR, though.

I am having such a hard time finding some warm boots for Dylan for the winter. I can't find anything in his size. Everything that looks warm and toasty is for girls. I want something that's warm enough to wear in snow for at least a little bit. I finally found a pair on Zulily that looked ok. Dark brown leather with faux fur inside. I can't get them on his feet!

Would you put a pair of those Uggs looking boots on a baby boy?


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Carrie - I was just teasing  and of course, a meatless burger is kind of not a burger. Though I had an awesome tofu burger when I lived in Japan. And I suppose you could do fake cheese . . . And honestly if it's a mushroom burger, I don't like sliced cheese on those (but something salty and crumbly like feta or gorganzola might be kind of delicious)

6 bedrooms should be adequate, and I don't mind being across the street from the beach. Do you know the name of the resort? and how much? And I like the idea of having common space, but I like knowing there are places to retreat to should that be needed.

Roots and wings is totally copied from Sweet Home Alabama. Love a good chic flik.

What are you wanting to spend? Friends of mine that are in cold/wet weather all the time love their stonz - http://www.stonzwear.com/Baby_Boys_Booties_0-2yrs/Booties-Brown_Dark/Product.aspx?ProductID=98&DeptID=32& warm and weather resistant.

Gabe spent the weekend with MIL (FIL was out of town) He was so glad to see us when we went to pick him up, and has been so happy to be home, I don't think I will leave him there with just her again. (she is just not a lot of fun and I honestly don't think has the first clue what to do with him 24/7 all by herself - they did do some fun things on Saturday, but just stayed home and inside on Sunday, despite the gorgeous weather) - I wouldn't have, except I really needed him to be elsewhere on Saturday - too many things that weren't toddler friendly (4 hours of community yardsale, pampered chef party). My parents were working on house repairs and homework, else I would have used them instead.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Trying to spend more time with T, less time on here. It's a work in progress.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> My mom answered me. She said something about a timeshare that has up to 6 bedrooms, a couple fold out sofas and two living areas/kitchens. I think that's the one I told you all about initially that is across Ocean Blvd. so we'd have to drive to the beach. That probably wouldn't be a problem since they have shuttles and a private parking area with cabana across the street from the beach. Of course, it would probably be easier if we were right there but that's ok.
> I think I prefer all of us being in the same place together. I really liked hanging out with everyone together. I felt a little left out having to go to my family unit to eat and whatnot.
> ...


That setup sounds good. Agree about being able to easily wander back and forth throughout units. Obviously my preference is for something 'on' the beach, but I also realize that costs $$$ and if we find something with a great setup for a good price, that's a little further away, that's ok too.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I am having such a hard time finding some warm boots for Dylan for the winter. I can't find anything in his size. Everything that looks warm and toasty is for girls. I want something that's warm enough to wear in snow for at least a little bit. I finally found a pair on Zulily that looked ok. Dark brown leather with faux fur inside. I can't get them on his feet!
> Would you put a pair of those Uggs looking boots on a baby boy?


They're probably a little overboard, but do you guys have MEC down there? I'm getting Tenley these: http://www.mec.ca/AST/ShopMEC/Kids/SocksSlippers/BootiesSlippers/PRD~5024-625/mec-toaster-booties-childrens.jsp They come very highly recommended to me.

Trying to head outside at least once every day this week. My AP group started a sub-group for simply living, and this week's challenge is to celebrate fall. I'm trying to focus on enjoying the weather before it gets to cold to enjoy outside. We have two playdates set up for this week already, so that's progress. I also think I want to head to the park and get some good pictures of Tenley, but I need to plan that for a day when it's warm enough that she can wear a cute 'fall' outfit without freezing.

I also want to do family portraits, but it's so hard to convince yourself to put out the money. But we don't have a single family portrait other than one from the hospital that only has the sides of our heads.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Family portrait: we are putting it off probably until our family is complete, LOL, ie, next spring, maybe April? warm but not hot. I have a fantastic photog friend. She did my babywearing pics. Wouldn't mind some before then, but it is hard tojustify the $$.

Those MEC are cheaper than the Stonz.

what's the temp there? it's about 70 here today.beautiful!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

The place my mom is talking is on the other side of the main road that goes all along the Grand Strand. I guess that's not Ocean Blvd. What's the main road there? Across the street from the beach is pretty much the same as on the beach but 14 stories up to me, relatively easy and quick walking distance. I think the place Annie linked to is in a building on the beach but maybe on an upper floor.

I don't want to spend much at all on the boots for Dylan. He'll probably only wear them a handful of times, if at all. There are for jic in snows here, which it may not at all. How much is 27 CAD in USD? I think those are way too big, anyway. The smallest is 155 mm while his feet are only about 115 mm.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Kings Hwy? (in other words: 17?) Ocean blvd? . .

hmm let me look some more . . .http://www.ebay.com/sch/Baby-Toddler-Clothing-/3082/i.html?_nkw=stonz slightly cheaper, and definitely small enough.

not good for snow, but cute : http://www.zappos.com/robeez-buffalo-bobby-mini-shoez-infant-toddler-brown-plaid

http://www.zappos.com/pediped-henry-original-boot-infant-chocolate-brown


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Ava is still really sick! I'm trying not to freak out because I know it just needs to run its course but I just want to take her to the pedi and say make it better! She won't drink gatorade or coconut water. She keeps some milk down but then throws up other times. She hasn't had a wet dipe since I changed her at 5 AM. Still spiking fevers, sleeping a lot. I was able to get some noodles and chicken broth in her last night. If she wakes up before I go to work, I'll try that again. She took 2 oz of milk before she went to sleep about an hour ago and it's stayed down. She hasn't vomited since 5 AM so she's kept a total of 7 oz down. That's good, right?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

How about these? http://www.diapers.com/p/stride-rite-srt-gulliver-128209 A little pricey for me but pretty much what you are looking for.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yes, King's Hwy. if that's also 17.

Annie ~ I think keeping anything down is good. I don't know the rule about how many wet diapers at this age. I also don't know what a doctor would do other than tell you to give her pedialyte. Maybe some antinausea meds. I have mixed feelings about those. I understand that they can be helpful if the person is getting extremely dehydrated from vomiting but it seems counterintuitive to me to stop vomiting. To me, vomiting is a way for the body to flush itself of whatever is making it sick. If you stop that, the sickness will remain. KWIM?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I totally agree about not stopping the vomiting. I just have this irrational urge to take her to the doc even though I know intellectually there's not much they can do for her. She's just so miserable! I'm used to 24 hr stomach bugs and we're ending day 4 of this.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, vomiting that long is concerning. I've never had to deal with a stomach virus that lasted that long, either, so I don't know what to do other than what you are doing, lots of fluids. My MW did say that I should keep taking fluids when I was sick while pg even if I did almost immediately throw it back up.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

you will absorb some of the fluid, even if some comes right back up. My concern about that much vomitting is that it's really hard on your esophagus - all those acids - and if she is seriously dehydrated she may need IV fluids.

Are the fluids you are giving her room temp? I know my stomach tends to reject cold things when I'm sick. Too much of a shock to the system.

This seems really helpful:

http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/illness-surgery/baby-illness/


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieA

Ava is still really sick! I'm trying not to freak out because I know it just needs to run its course but I just want to take her to the pedi and say make it better! She won't drink gatorade or coconut water. She keeps some milk down but then throws up other times. She hasn't had a wet dipe since I changed her at 5 AM. Still spiking fevers, sleeping a lot. I was able to get some noodles and chicken broth in her last night. If she wakes up before I go to work, I'll try that again. She took 2 oz of milk before she went to sleep about an hour ago and it's stayed down. She hasn't vomited since 5 AM so she's kept a total of 7 oz down. That's good, right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieA

I totally agree about not stopping the vomiting. I just have this irrational urge to take her to the doc even though I know intellectually there's not much they can do for her. She's just so miserable! I'm used to 24 hr stomach bugs and we're ending day 4 of this.









Honestly after 4 days I would go to the ped even if they couldn't do much more than confirm I'm doing all the right things. What can a visit hurt? She is miserable and you are worried to tears! ((hugs)) I really hope it breaks soon. Maybe it is a bad stomach flu, or just some wicked wicked virus! I know you are doing all the right things if that makes you feel any better. Milk, broth, rest. Keep her comfortable.

Kat, Idk.. boca burgers are practically the only burgers I've ever eaten and liked, so to me it really is a burger! LOL.

JJ - What about something like JC Penney? Do you have that up there? It's nothing like a pro photo shoot, but it's something and I'm so happy with my mat photos I had done there. And it won't cost you much at all!

Lunch was so fun! I realized I'd forgotten all the dipes and hats, etc I was going to give my friend so she and her DD came over here to play for a bit. Finn didn't go down for his nap until 230! Normally the latest he will nap is 1 so he just seriously checked OUT! HA!

I found mater!! He was in the car under the carseat!!

Ok - baby napping - I gotta go quickly do wash and pick up! BBL.

Oh - I'm following along with the beach house plans but not really chiming in b/c I really dont see us being able to go. Boooooo! But I'm going to keep up just in case we can!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh - I'm following along with the beach house plans but not really chiming in b/c I really dont see us being able to go. Boooooo! But I'm going to keep up just in case we can!


Bummer!







But that is good to know. If you are pretty sure you can't go, we only need 4 bedrooms, right?

Yay for finding Mater!

I meant to comment on the photos.

JJ ~ We just got another set from PictureMe Portraits and we love them! I always spend way more than I plan. I go there with the coupon for a gazillion for like $7.99 or whatever but that's only one pose so I end up getting a package with several poses and spend $150-200. They are definitely worth it. DH just picked up our collage of Dylan at 1 year. It's so nice! We also got a bunch of photos of the 3 younger boys together. So sweet! I could never get photos like that myself so it's totally worth it to me to pay for them.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Yes, right now plan for just you guys! Super bummed but when he said no more trips, I know he meant it.  And I really want to move! So. Keep planning -- just before you book anything ask me one last time, ok?

What about these boots? http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=37871&vid=1&pid=534016&scid=534016002


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Gabe is so rarely sick, trying to figure out what's wrong, and do I just leave him be, or push him to eat/drink? He's sleepy, running a low fever (guessing no more than 100; he won't hold still) doesn't want to eat or drink. Just says he's sad. Ugh. I am supposed to go into work tOmottow and don't want to leave DH with a sickie.

Carrie







its several months away yet, you never know what may happen between now and then!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Thanks for the links for boots. I'm really looking for some soft-soled ones. I don't want anything to big and clunky. I doubt he could actually walk in anything like that. Everything is so expensive, too. I wouldn't mind spending $30-40 if they were going to be used for more than one baby but it's hard when I know they'll only be worn maybe a handful of times this one season.

I found these on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Molehill-Kids-Sno-Mocs-Silver-Toddler/dp/B001AZXWBS/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=1KCOZXHKZK4J6&coliid=I1YTQ6OK8I1LLS

http://www.amazon.com/Robeez-Soft-Soles-Lil-Snow/dp/B004UOTPKI/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=1KCOZXHKZK4J6&coliid=ING62AHR1YF59

The Robeez ones say 6-12 months but the measurements appear like they would fit Dylan's foot. Maybe I'm not measuring him correctly.

These are more like it. http://www.ebay.com/itm/320855221487?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1423.l2649

I've sent a message to the seller asking if they have measurements because I'm not sure if I should get the 12-18 or 18-24 month size. Dylan will be 18 months in Januray and these would most likely be worn in January/February.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Thanks for the link to the kellymom stuff akind1. That's pretty much what I've been doing already. I only give her 2 oz of BM in her bottle at a time so it's not too much on her stomach at once. Her milk is always room temp because it's what I've previously pumped and left out for her to drink. When I called the nurse yesterday morning, she was trying to convince me to not give her breastmilk. I just ignored her. She wasn't crying when she woke up from her nap so that was good. She did have a wet dipe but her urine was so concentrated that the dipe was yellow where she had peed. I was able to get her to eat a few noodles in broth and drink water as well as breastmilk. She was playing some and even laughed when she farted so I think she'll be ok.







I'll reassess tonight when I get home from work. She's such a hard stick when she's hydrated, I can't imagine how it would be for them to try to start an IV when she's dehydrated.







The nurse said that this virus is lasting a while so I'm going to keep trying to ride it out.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *MarineWife* 


> My mom answered me. She said something about a timeshare that has up to 6 bedrooms, a couple fold out sofas and two living areas/kitchens. I think that's the one I told you all about initially that is across Ocean Blvd. so we'd have to drive to the beach. That probably wouldn't be a problem since they have shuttles and a private parking area with cabana across the street from the beach. Of course, it would probably be easier if we were right there but that's ok.
> I think I prefer all of us being in the same place together. I really liked hanging out with everyone together. I felt a little left out having to go to my family unit to eat and whatnot.
> 
> 
> ...


I'm good either way. I know what you mean about the two living spaces MW. There were times when it struck me that it felt kind of segregated but when it would occur to me, it was never the time to address it. The main thing that struck me about the condo I found was the smallish living room but if the bedrooms have TVs, then maybe the kids could watch TV in the bedrooms and we could just leave the living room for toys and hanging out. I remember one time when all the big kids were in your unit watching Sponge Bob and the grownups were in the other unit talking. If we only had one TV, then it would be kind of hard to have convos while Patrick and Sponge Bob were having convos!







Also that condo would only have room for four families. I really want Baby_Cakes to be able to come too!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

If there was only one TV in the living room and we were there talking, it wouldn't be on. I talked to the boys about that before we left. They always have the option of watching Netflix on the computer.

I really want Carrie to come, too. I wonder how long we can wait before booking something.

Why in the world would a nurse tell you to stop giving Ava breastmilk?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> If there was only one TV in the living room and we were there talking, it wouldn't be on. I talked to the boys about that before we left. They always have the option of watching Netflix on the computer.
> I really want Carrie to come, too. I wonder how long we can wait before booking something.
> Why in the world would a nurse tell you to stop giving Ava breastmilk?


She said something along the lines of milk being hard on the stomach. Which would be true if it were cow's milk but I specifically said breastmilk. She was also trying to make sure that I wasn't treating her fever if it was just a low-grade so I think they just have to deal with the lowest common denominator, you know? Ava's pedi and regular phone nurse knows that I wouldn't do something like that but this was a Sunday morning nurse.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Ah, gotcha. Yeah, dairy is not good for an upset stomach. I guess that just goes to show how much misinformation there is about the different types of milk.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> The place my mom is talking is on the other side of the main road that goes all along the Grand Strand. I guess that's not Ocean Blvd. What's the main road there? Across the street from the beach is pretty much the same as on the beach but 14 stories up to me, relatively easy and quick walking distance. I think the place Annie linked to is in a building on the beach but maybe on an upper floor.
> I don't want to spend much at all on the boots for Dylan. He'll probably only wear them a handful of times, if at all. There are for jic in snows here, which it may not at all. How much is 27 CAD in USD? I think those are way too big, anyway. The smallest is 155 mm while his feet are only about 115 mm.


Yeah agreed, if you can't walk out onto the beach, then it's no different from being across the street. Though the view was nice!

I think the US/CAD $ are almost on par right now. I thought the boots would be too big, but a friend just bought them for her daughter who is the same age as Dylan, and she said they were big enough to put a pair of thick socks on under and have a bit of room, but really not as big as you would think. Another friend whose daughter will be 2 in Jan, had to return hers and buy the mediums.

But yeah, I get the conundrum of spending $30 on a pair of boots that may be worn only once or twice.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Ava is still really sick! I'm trying not to freak out because I know it just needs to run its course but I just want to take her to the pedi and say make it better! She won't drink gatorade or coconut water. She keeps some milk down but then throws up other times. She hasn't had a wet dipe since I changed her at 5 AM. Still spiking fevers, sleeping a lot. I was able to get some noodles and chicken broth in her last night. If she wakes up before I go to work, I'll try that again. She took 2 oz of milk before she went to sleep about an hour ago and it's stayed down. She hasn't vomited since 5 AM so she's kept a total of 7 oz down. That's good, right?


 It sounds like form your next posts she's doing slightly better, but how scary! Sick babies all over the place. Kat, I hope Gabe's passes quick! Ten is at the end of a sickness, but it's just runny nose and stuff up now, no fever or altered behavior or anything.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Thanks for the links for boots. I'm really looking for some soft-soled ones. I don't want anything to big and clunky. I doubt he could actually walk in anything like that. Everything is so expensive, too. I wouldn't mind spending $30-40 if they were going to be used for more than one baby but it's hard when I know they'll only be worn maybe a handful of times this one season.
> I found these on Amazon:
> ...


FWIW, the socks you sent Tenley fit her approx the same as the 6-12m robeez she has, maybe a tiny bit smaller? I don't know if you tried those on Dylan or not before sending them.

Spent almost 2 hours outside and took a bunch of pictures. I don't know if any of them are any good yet, but we'll see.

For pictures here, the only thing like the JC Penny ones, are more similar quality to walmart. We've done them before, and they're... eh. I really want some good outdoors ones, but something in a nice studio would be ok too. I know a couple people who are in the beginning stages of their photog businesses, so I might ask them.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> For pictures here, the only thing like the JC Penny ones, are more similar quality to walmart. We've done them before, and they're... eh. I really want some good outdoors ones, but something in a nice studio would be ok too. I know a couple people who are in the beginning stages of their photog businesses, so I might ask them.


I think this really depends on the individual photographer. I had some photos done by an individual place and they weren't so great. I had some done at Sears and at one PictureMe Portraits (Walmart) that were crap. I went to this other PictureMe (a different Walmart) and have gotten really good ones every time. That's where I got those pg photos.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Yeah the ones here (and I know lots of people that have done walmart ones) are more like... the school picture type. Choose a background, sit, smile, snap photo, that's it. It's very very basic. We used to have more options with stores that did them, but it's narrowed down a lot.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

We spoke with the manager at our JCPenney - she's the one that does all of our studio stuff - and she said alot of the in-store studios (Walmart, JCPenney, etc) are shutting down. People generally aren't spending the money on that stuff right now. She used to manage the Pictureme, but switched to JCPenney. Her studio is one of the few - maybe the only - in our area that was turning a profit, and therefore the only JCPenney one in the area that remained open. I really like her, she does a good job and has patience with the kids.

Gabe is cooler now than he was last night. he did drink some water and sprite and has slept well. So that's something. He had loose stools over the weekend, but was generally himself otherwise, woke up fine Monday morning, ate, drank, played at Kindermusik, but afterwards turned into a listless mess. He's only puked once. And it was the chocolate milk that came up (which I wouldn't have given him, but I didn't know at the time his stomach bothered him. He was just sad and limp) I so hope he's better today! And that Norah doesn't get it.

She nursed almost constantly last night. I need coffee.

I want Carrie to come! It's hard to say when we need to book - I think the true spring/early summer deals won't come out until after the first of the year. In the meantime keep an eye on groupon/living social, etc, often they have vacation deals that are pretty awesome.

Carrie: can we help you house hunt???

MW: do you know what size shoe Dylan is in? I never can go by the monthly sizes for my kids.

Glad Ava is doing better! she is such a smart cookie!

JJ: def hit up your photog friends.

My doula has got a new camera and is taking some more photography classes -she can't wait to get pics of the birth. I mostly want after birth pictures, but maybe she can get some good labor ones too. This is my last baby, and why not? Need to ask about prices and payment . . . it's a little weird since we are now good friends. I'd *love* if she did part of it pro bono but I don't want to ask for it.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I think Ava has turned the corner. No vomiting overnight but fever spike around 5 AM. Just a third of a dose of motrin brought it down though. When she woke up around 9 AM, she wanted milk right away and then she signed potty so I took her and she did peeps and poops in the potty and was very proud of herself. She started signing eat so I made some scrambled eggs and she's been scarfing them down. Hope I don't regret that later on!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Annie - good news all round! so glad she is perking up !


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I think Ava has turned the corner. No vomiting overnight but fever spike around 5 AM. Just a third of a dose of motrin brought it down though. When she woke up around 9 AM, she wanted milk right away and then she signed potty so I took her and she did peeps and poops in the potty and was very proud of herself. She started signing eat so I made some scrambled eggs and she's been scarfing them down. Hope I don't regret that later on!


Hunger and peeps and poops are good signs!!! Hooray for feeling better!

AFM - I'm apparently on a shopping spree today. I ordered a video monitor and ... I bought a BabyHawk! (I did use a coupon and got 20% off both which saved me $45 combined, and had free shipping thru amazon prime). I also got Sunbutter to try and a bottle of Bac Out b/c I hear Good Things.

THEN I went to the mall to return a dress and a pair of shoes I bought a few months ago (I only had 2 days left to return them!) and ended up shopping. I went into Brighton and built myself a charm bracelet! I've been meaning to do it for awhile, just a little something for me. $105! I love it though. Hopefully chris doesn't flip on me when he gets the bill! Gulp.

Normally I run bigger purchases by him first. But. Like I said whatever. I'm feeling unappreciated lately, I think. I realized it today when I got frustrated over something this morning that I do honestly feel like I give, give, give, and 99% of the time I feel like I'm talking to a wall. Nobody listens to me. Nobody asks me how I feel or what I'm thinking. Ever. It's hard! Need to work on that I think. But in the meantime retail therapy will help!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I want Carrie to come! It's hard to say when we need to book - I think the true spring/early summer deals won't come out until after the first of the year. In the meantime keep an eye on groupon/living social, etc, often they have vacation deals that are pretty awesome.
> 
> ...


You are too sweet! Really the biggest thing right now is getting OUR house ready to sell. :-/ It's slow moving. We are both working hard at our own projects but it's overwhelming how many little things we need to do. Hoping to list right after the winter.

I would ask her! Tell her you want her to take pictures, and were wondering if she would be able to reduce her price a little for you. If not, then not, but it can't hurt to ask!!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

So . . maybe if you you list it right after the winter, it sells fast, and you find another house quickly . . . it might be possible????

And maybe if we did September instead of May it would be really possible???

next time I see her in person, I'll ask. it's getting about time I would need to start making payments anyway. How are you kiddos? All well?


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> So . . maybe if you you list it right after the winter, it sells fast, and you find another house quickly . . . it might be possible????
> 
> ...


Yes and even more yes!!!

My kiddos are well! Nora went to school this am and Finn is just a little runny but in good spirits! He's also choosing to walk instead of crawl which is so insane to me. I can't even believe it.

Sleep is much better these past 2 nights since he figured this out!!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Isn't it crazy to have a walker? Norah wants to run so bad, but keeps tripping! LOL she'll get it figured out eventually.

Glad sleep is better and sick has gone away - for the most part - you need some healthy time!

Our Whole Foods should be opening soon, I can't wait!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ I know what you mean about all the little things. There are a gazilliion little things that need to be done to our hourse before we can even think about selling or renting it. I've been making a running list. DH says he wants to do it all himself but hasn't even started. I don't know what he's thinking.

Annie ~ I'm glad Ava is feeling better.

Kat ~ I don't use regular shoes so I don't know what size Dylan is in. He's wearing 12-18 month size Robeez right now. I don't know how those compare. But, a friend lent me a pair of winter boots that will work so I'm set. I don't have to buy anything!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

RE: house stuff, I don't know. Depending on your market, you could just do some basic cleaning/decluttering and put it on the market as-is. Let the new owners deal w/the "problems".

RE: when to book our trip. There is a school of thought that when renting condos/beach houses, if you wait until the last minute and then find a house that has a week unrented, call the owners and work out a deal. My friend did that a couple of years ago. They had a wedding to go to in OBX the second week of May. He called this owner like two weeks before the trip and got this huge house for $1k for the whole week. Here's the house: http://www.twiddy.com/homes/corolla/pine-island/sea-gem.aspx Seriously, this place was amazing. I'd love to stay there again. But not as easy for everyone to get to. But my point is there can be value in waiting until the last minute. And late April/early May is a good time to get deals. It's past spring break time for public schools but before public schools get out for the summer. So there are almost always houses unrented.

Ava has invented a sign and I don't know what it means. She cocks her head to the left, holds up her right hand and pinches her fingers together and kind of moves her hand up and down while saying "Umm? Umm?" She was doing it this morning and I was just guessing what she may want and I asked her if she wanted to take a shower and she stopped doing it and started crawling towards the bathroom. But that sign doesn't look like the sign I use when I ask her if she wants to take a bath/shower. Any ideas?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I have no idea, Annie.

We had a crazy incident at baseball tonight. The coaches have a teenage dd, among other children, who hangs out while the games are happening. I guess the mom saw the dd "making out" with a boy at the playground in front of their younger girls and other kids. She flipped out. What I saw was her grabbing her dd's hair and yanking her around right in front of the baseball field while the game was going on. Another mother must have told her she was doing the wrong thing because she started yelling at the other mother about not telling her how to treat her own children and she wasn't going to have a 16yo dd who's pg. A bunch of the other moms took the side of the coach/mother and said she was within her right to do that to her dd. I told the other mother that I thought it was wrong, too. So did a few others including a woman from the other team who said she worked in the health field and something like that would have been a mandatory CPS/police report.

So, tomorrow I will be calling the rec center to complain and tell them that this coach/mother needs to be banned from baseball. Then I'll be calling CPS, especially after DH said he saw the mom initially grab her dd by throat. She let go just as he was getting ready to go stop her.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

That's crazy MW. I thought all health care workers were mandated reporters so shouldn't that other parent that witnessed have to report it as well? I think that type of behavior is unacceptable and I would not want my kids exposed to it. I think it is extremely reasonable for you to call the rec office and let them know what happened.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, they were already complained about once for something that happened at another game. I wasn't there for that. It had something to do with the way they were talking to/treating their own son during the game. Again, they came back with the whole, "Don't tell me how to raise my own children!"

I wondered that about that person. I think maybe she meant worked as in past tense. I don't know, though. Also, she may not know the coaches name. I don't know where they live so I don't know how much will get done by calling CPS. Oh, and on the way to get her dd when she was walking back from the playground I heard her say that she might be whipping the belt out so I doubt that's even the most extreme she gets with her kids.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

IME you will find alot of pregnant teens in households like that.. Goes to show that they feel rebellion is more necessary when lots of restrictions are placed. Good for you for doing something, that kind of parenting is plain abusive.

Annie: it may be what she means as kids will make up their own signs.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Oh that just makes me sick at my stomach. I can't handle stuff like that.

Oh I meant to tell you guys something cute but also sad that happened the other day. DH was watching "Meet the Fockers" and there's this whole scene where the FIL is taking care of his grandson and he leaves him with the main character. But before he leaves, he goes over all these rules and says that the baby is being "Ferberized" and to not pick him up even if he's crying. Well the baby was in a pack n play and started crying and the main character is going back and forth on whether he should pick him up or not. Well Ava was playing while all of this was happening on the TV and she looked up and got the saddest look on her face and started crying too! I tried to comfort her but she was just so sad! I had to make DH turn the channel.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Exactly, Kat. I have been thinking the whole time it wouldn't be much of a surprise if that girl is pg before she graduates from high school.

Annie ~ Ava is so empathic. Very sweet but that might be hard for her as she gets older. It can be very difficult emotionally to feel things for others so deeply.

I don't think I told you all the Dylan finally signed last night! He signed, mom and dad and maybe water. He did it several times and it was very obvious he was doing it on purpose. It wasn't random. I haven't been able to get him to repeat any of them today.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Yay for signs! Ava kind of signed "daddy" the other day but then she wouldn't do it again. Have you caught Dylan practicing when you aren't watching? I'll see Ava do that sometimes, like she's working it out in her own time, you know?

Yes, she is very empathic. I've always been pretty empathic as well and it is hard. If someone around me is crying, it makes me cry. I have a hard time watching tv shows and movies because it feels "real" to me, you know? It's gotten worse since I had Ava. DH was trying to watch a Batman movie and there were people begging for their lives and I almost had a panic attack! I asked him to pause it until I went to bed so I didn't have to hear it anymore.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Poor sweet Ava! See, Gabe cries when he sees the drama on Toddlers and Tiaras - but it's more like a copy-cat mock than empathy. kind of funny. Norah seems to like the show though. (I promised her I would never do that to her in a million years)

Last night sucked. It just did. I know I am still making milk, but it must not be enough to satisfy her late night cravings - hoping she's just going through a growth spurt or teeth or something. She gets food right before bed as it is (usually a yogurt or some dry cereal . . . some of each) IDK what to add to to satisfy her through the night.

Norah doesn't sign, but she does talk. She's got mama, dada, g'ma, pa, water, down, up, dog, banana, nana . . . and those are only the ones my tired brain recalls her repeating with intention. So many more words than Gabe had at this age. She's walking better, and really wanting to run. Need to work on how to get her to safely go down stairs, she is fantastic at getting up them.

MW: how many kids does that family have? obviously a teenage daughter and a son whose of an age with one of yours . . . My mom's mom was that kind of mother. Strict, ruthless. She mellowed in her old age, but I don't think she ever thought what she did was wrong. She probably thought she was doing better than her parents did by her (and she's likely right). Out of her 5 kids, 1 ran away as a teenager (we didn't relocate her until 10+ years later), 1 got pregnant as a teenager (my mom), 1 has had several marriages and gone the other direction in permissive parenting and her oldest daughter just got out of rehab and is pregnant (She's late teens, I don't think she is 20 yet, but I could be wrong) by who knows who, and the youngest was in an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage. The oldest, and only boy, is ok, just weird. I know from talking with her alot she just didn't know any other way to be, and I think just gave up at a point in her kids' teen years. It's kind of sad - I think generally how everyone turned out shows how litte roots they had - they didn't have much support to count on as they were trying their wings. But this of course is pure anecdote and not scientific.

Carrie: in regards to your current house, have you talked to a real estate agent? I would want to know if putting in the time, effort and money that you think your house needs will pan out in more money for your house and/or a quicker sale. Or if it might be worth a slight loss in profit to list it as is? I myself would focus on the sorts of things that get flagged upon inspection: wiring, roof, structure, plumbing. Because those often are deal breakers. The cosmetic stuff . . . HGTV has taught me to believe in staging, but that doesn't have to cost much.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I have not noticed Dylan practicing signing. I'll have to watch with that intention now and see if he does anything. He would not sign at all again yesterday.

Kat ~ I don't know how many kids they have total. I'm pretty sure they have at least one adult son because I overheard her ranting about that when she was going on about telling her how to raise her kids. Then they have the teenage girl who looked to be around 15 or 16, 2 more girls maybe 9-12 age range and the boy 7 or 8. I didn't know that troop of kids were all theirs. I thought they were just a group that hung out together during baseball.

I was thinking that if they are investigated by CPS maybe they would get some classes and instruction on better parenting that would help them all. Based on the info I was given when I was investigated it seemed like that was what they focus on here, providing the family with services.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

It's good they focus on services, though the mom doesn't seem to think she needs any help. Also that she's used to people trying to intervene on behalf of her kids. Makes you wonder if CPS has been called before . . .

I need a nap. Not going to happen though. Maybe an early bed time . . . . I can hope.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Hugs akind1. I can't imagine being this sleep deprived on top of pregnancy exhaustion. Is the yogurt full fat? Ava sleeps better when I get some scrambled egg or cheese and butter in her for her bedtime snack. Also have you considered doing a bottle of cow's milk halfway through the night?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Well, I called the rec center and CPS. The guy at the rec center said they've had several calls about it and are investigating it. We may have a new coach by the end of the day. I know this is not the first complaint the rec center has gotten about them because I overheard the mom talking about being complained about a few weeks ago.

If CPS has been called on them before, another report will make it more urgent. I would be surprised if CPS has been called before, though. IDK. I guess I just assume that most people don't do or report anything. I think I said that most of the other parents there said she was within her rights to do that to her dd. They thought the other mom who tried to intervene was wrong for butting in. The woman is definitely a bully. It was obvious by the way she started yelling at the other mom for trying to tell her how to raise her children.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Definitely a bully. You mentioned she had said on more than one occasion something to the effect of don't tell me how to raise my kids, which leads me to believe it's not the first time some one has tried to intervene, politely or not. Whether or not officially . . . hard to say. People hate to call CPS, they don't want kids taken away. I get that, but CPS doesn't have the resources to do that even in alot of the cases that warrant it. It's a shame - because it seems like in cases where there should be permanent separation, the kids are being returned to abusive homes, and often CPS is called in when it's really not needed. We have family members who have had their kids taken and placed with another family member. I honestly don't know that they will ever be given back. Probably a good thing.

yogurt was 1% I think - it's a simply go-gurt. Gabe likes to have one before bed. We keep them frozen, so it's like a treat before bed to him. And Norah feels left out if she doesn't get one. Last night she had 3 oz of breastmilk followed by 3 oz of cow's milk around 3:30 a.m. first time I have ever had to do that. Usually she is just fine with nursing. She seriously doesn't seem to have an off switch for eating, She will want out of her high chair, but will continue to snack on whatever we allow out of it (usually dry cereal, pretzels, cheese sticks) Maybe with all the increased physical activity, she's just needing some more calories? need to work on getting her those.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

re: that abuse -- good for you for reporting it! That is horrible and not right. We can't let things like this go unreported. It's not within a parents right to beat/abuse their child! Burns me up.

re: our house -- it's nothing just cosmetic! Those little things are like whatever! We just have a fixer upper that has projects that we started that we just haven't finished. We need to finish the breezeway/all season room (tile the floor) and repaint the kitchen b/c we never put up a backsplash. The paint is peeling. The bathroom needs a fan. It's all moldy and needs to be repainted. The hall has water damage from the bathroom being damp. So. Things like that. It's repairs I suppose, not "projects" so much!

We may also end up having to list it for rent, instead of selling it, and those things need to be addressed before we rent it out.

Bugs me to think that I might end up renting my first home. Where my babies were born. Where all these memories have been made.

Kat - Nap! OMG woman make it a priority! Somehow!

Also, try things like eggsalad, chicken salad, hummus -- those things tend to fill Finn up longer. He can eat pretzels and veggie straws all day and night, but if I make him eat something heavy, he won't seem to snack as much.

That said I tallied up what he ate last night (a mama in my ddc wanted to gauge how much our LOs are eating) and realized he had (in one day)

A slice of pizza (cut from a tortilla, so not huge, but still) steamed broccoli, raw peppers; veggie sticks; 1/4c tofu chicken style salad, handful of tings, 2 whole bananas, 1 packet of Annies fruit snacks, bowl of dry froot loops, and a protein shake with super greens. Plus he nursed 5 times not counting wake up snuggles or bedtime. Human. Garbage. Disposal.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Katnap...










I don't think I told you all that I never did get that laptop I tried to order. My credit card was declined a couple of times. Turns out it had been flagged for a charge from London to an adult porn site or something so the company stopped all charges from going through.







I took care of that and got new cards with new numbers yesterday. So, I went online to try to buy the laptop again but now I can't find my new credit card! The boys were playing with them last night and I don't know where mine went. Oops!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

oops!

Today is not a day when I have time to nap. And I am one of those that needs 2-3 hours to feel human, and not groggy . . . ugh. Maybe tomorrow . . .

Repairs . . . Can you snowball them? Have Chris take some time off work, MIL take the kids (at least for the day) and bang some stuff out? It's so hard when the kids are present and want to "help"

Our first house was officially foreclosed earlier this month. Where Gabe and Norah were conceived. Where we brought Gabe home to from the hospital. Lots and lots of memories. But you know what? It's ok. We are moved on, and that house is no longer a good fit for us, and hasn't been for a long time. I wouldn't choose to go back there if I could. Your house now doesn't suit your needs - but it was the right place to bring your babies into the world and watch them grow, but it doesn't grow with you. Time to move on, say goodbye. You'll be ok and LOVE your next house.

Yesterday Norah ate: a banana, dry cereal (God knows how much - she find the container and serves herself), pretzels, chips (DH needs to find better snacks), cheese, yogurt, teething biscuits, a jar of turkey something that my mom mixed oatmeal into, baked ziti, 1/4 slice of pizza toppings, more yogurt . . . This is on a day with DH. When I am home, breakfast is still usually a banana and cereal, snacks are probably about the same, but I usually serve lunch - sometimes the timing is off and kids fall asleep before it's fixed - but that has been pizza lately, or torn up lunch meat and cheese. Need to instill some variety. Non-messy variety. The carpet is becoming very icky.

Dinner she usually eats everything she's given plus whatever Gabe doesn't eat. There is nothing that she turns down. She and Finn need to get together and have a garbage disposal contest!

Nursing is just nap and bedtime/overnight now. She drinks water and OJ during the day, and usually at least one sippy cup of milk - either coconut or whole, whichever we have on hand.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

akind1, if it were me, I'd work on getting fat and protein in her ASAP. Sounds like she's taking in a bunch of carbs but with her activity levrl she's just burning it right off again. Ava usually eats a scrambled egg that's been cooked in butter (real butter not margarine) for breakfast and I try to get a meatball or cheese or buttered bread in her at lunch. DH isn't very good at getting protein and fat in her in the evenings but it does really help. Black beans, guacamole, chili beans w/cheese and sour cream, those are favorites of Ava too. She eats a lot of beans and cheese. Make everything full fat when possible. Let her have the gogurt but also get some full fat yogurt in her too.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Dylan woke up at around 8:30 (because Kellen was running around the house yelling for Daddy and I was in the bathroom so I couldn't stop him) but fell back to sleep around 10:30 or 10:45 and is still sleeping! Maybe he was more sick than I realized. He was really clingy and fussy yesterday at the stitching group I went to with our homeschoolers. I got very little stitching done but did get some bitchin done.







He also had a nasty rash on his bum from diarrhea. I couldn't figure out why he would have diarrhea but the other moms said their babies get it when they have colds from the extra postnasal drip mucous. Blech! No diarrhea so far today. He's asleep in the bed naked because I was not expecting him to fall asleep and I am trying to keep his bum bare as much as possible today to help with the rash. Hopefully, there won't be any runnies when he wakes up.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Poor naked boy! DS usually gets some loose stool with a cold. and teething.

yes, she does eat alot of carbs. most of her protein right now is from cheese, sausage (DS loves sausage pizza, and so does she), milk, yogurt, and whatever meat we have with dinner. Need to buy some eggs. They are a random favorite here. Fat - the only reason go-gurt isn't whole fat is because we can't find a whole fat option for that. We do everything full fat, and usually cook in a combination of butter and olive oil. She so loves guacamole. loves, loves, but no one else does (except my mom) so that's a treat for her usually. I need to go to the store and get some more things for her to eat. Oh, she does sometimes get peanut butter toast (yes, that's a carb, but peanut butter has protein and fat). Need to brainstorm some more. I like to get things that we all can eat and not have special food.

Maybe I can keep some hard boiled eggs in the fridge for a snack. How long do they keep?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

MW, yes the mucus causes upset tummies. Ava vomits and has diarrhea when she gets a cold. It's awful. Hope he feels better soon!

akind1, I get not having special foods but babies and toddlers need more fat than the rest of us so if it means buying a container of ready-made guac that only Norah eats, then maybe that's what needs to happen. When your Whole Foods opens, you'll have some more options with good ready-made stuff. I hate that there are not any full-fat yogurt tube options. Even the Stoneyfield ones are 2%. Peanut butter is good, I wish I could get Ava to eat that. Maybe give her sliced banana w/peanut butter for breakfast? Hard boiled eggs will keep a couple of days in the fridge. Does she like egg salad? Would be easy to whip that up for her at a meal. I would still keep serving her what are offering everyone at a meal but add in something that has extra fat or protein. That's what I do for DSS 17 right now because he's in the middle of his cross country season and runs at least 10 miles a day. His caloric needs are definitely higher than DSD 14 or DSD 13.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Kat have you seen these??? Might be worth the investment one time and then you can buy whatever yogurt you want!

http://www.snack-girl.com/snack/diy-gogurt/

Poor D! I didn't realize he was so under the weather too still. Hopefully he wakes up dry and happier!!

I would LOVE for MIL to watch the kids for even a day so we could knock out projects. They are so not helpful lately. I think they are fully enjoying being empty nesters. I can't really fault them too much -- it isn't their job to be available just to watch our kids. But it really stings sometimes. I asked if my FIL and BIL could please babysit for an afternoon while my MIL and I attend a baby shower (her family). They said they "weren't comfortable" and don't know how to "take care of them". Bullshit. They just don't want to. Now I have to skip the shower.

I'm thinking if I say I can't find anyone else, they'll do it. But now it's almost the principle of it, I don't want to go. Plus it's an hour away. If anything does go wrong, it'd be hard for me to get home quick.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I try to keep a couple of hard boiled eggs in the fridge at all times. We all need a quick protein boost every once in a while. We go through a LOT of eggs. Which reminds me that I need to text the woman who sells her fresh eggs. I told dh not to buy any at the commissary because I can get them from her for less.

what about plain avocado if she likes guac? then you could just give her a slice or 2 whenever. i don't give my kids avocado because I and my mom are allergic. dh eats it all the time, though.

you'd think that by baby #4 i'd know cold = diarrhea but my brain never made that connection.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Is the commissary like a grocery store? I keep thinking dining hall.

Kat - you're so right about moving on from a house. I've just never moved from a place I've cared about! I have such mixed feelings!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yes, the commissary is a grocery store. I have no idea why they call it a commissary. I think it has something to do with way back in the day when everything was traded or they only got rations or something. It's kind of like, you don't say you are at a Marine Corps base. You say you are on board like a ship because they are Marines.

Carrie ~ FWIW, eating fresh, real cage free eggs doesn't harm the animals because hens lay eggs regularly whether there is a male around or they are fertilized. When I asked the woman she said they drop eggs the same way we do.









Oh, and when I was talking to the woman milking the cow at Williamsburg, she said they weren't taking any milk away from the calves because they make way more milk than the calves could consume. Not sure if that's true but that's what she said. Made me think of you because I think you once said that you would feel bad about taking milk from the baby animals.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Yes, the commissary is a grocery store. I have no idea why they call it a commissary. I think it has something to do with way back in the day when everything was traded or they only got rations or something. It's kind of like, you don't say you are at a Marine Corps base. You say you are on board like a ship because they are Marines.
> Carrie ~ FWIW, eating fresh, real cage free eggs doesn't harm the animals because hens lay eggs regularly whether there is a male around or they are fertilized. When I asked the woman she said they drop eggs the same way we do.
> ...


Weird! Gotcha!

Yup. But, I still can't quite get my head around why humans need the milk of another species though past infancy/into adulthood. There are other means to get enough calcium and other nutrients w/o using an animal product. Our bodies are designed to not break down lactose once we are adults. I just don't get it.

And NFN but my bigger problem is with the factory farms who do steal the milk from the mama cows. They do slaughter them inhumanely. They do hook them up to rape racks and cause all sorts of trauma to them. The whole dairy industry is really where my mind is. The thing with a boycott, which is what veganism really is, is that you just eliminate ALL of it b/c once you really look at what is going it, it just doesn't feel right.

I always thought if I had my own chickens I would eat the eggs they lay. But I can't get my head around that either. Mostly having to buy the chicks. Something seems so wrong. I don't like the idea of using animals as a commodity.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I eat it bc it's yummy. LOL. No morals.

I love gettIng fresh things to feed the kids. We just have a hard time eating it while it's still fresh. Ugh.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Not none! Just different than mine! I don't think either of us is wrong. We are both doing what we think is fine. To each their own!

Nora is in a fantastic mood today for a change! We've had a rough few days since Finn took off walking. Him meeting a milestone = Nora being very ornery and difficult and pushing me to my limits. Usually beyond my limits. The past two nights she and I have fought and ended up in tears. It's hard!!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I think I forgot to tell you guys. Since we've been home from vacation, Ava refuses to sit in the highchair. She wants to sit on the table (geez, this kid has a memory like an elephant!) or she wants to sit in the chair beside me. I didn't think she had even noticed when Finn was doing that but she must have seen him. I've gotten her successfully in the highchair and eating twice.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Ha! Finn is a bad influence! LOL! Sorry. If anything it'll get her used to the big chair faster? Gotta hope, right?

Sleep is back to like poo status. Up a million times last night and then up for the day at 6. It was still dark. Should I try going back to 2 naps?? He usually sleeps 2, maybe 2.5 hours straight for naps. 12 hours total sleep (night + naps). I just don't know what to do. It's all a crap shoot. I can see him being ready for nap today by 11 since he got up so early. Sigh. C'mon buddy! Stop screwing with sleep!!!

Gonna grab more coffee. Got all my fall flavors out -- today is butterscotch and caramel! Heavenly on a chilly, rainy fall morning!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Hmmm, maybe try to do the morning nap a bit earlier? If Ava woke at 6, we'd be headed for a nap around 8. She does 12 hrs at night plus at least 1 nap ranging from 45-70 mins. Sometimes longer or two naps if she wakes before 8 AM. That coffee sounds yummy! I'm awake but Ava is still sleeping. Had to pump. Hopefully she'll stay asleep when I go back to bed. The only hard part about her sitting in the big chair is she likes to move around, stand up, etc and I'm constantly having to catch her from falling. Scares the crap out of me!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

High Chairs: Gabe has only used them very, very briefly. He does at my parents house because it's expected (now he is in a booster seat) But everywhere else? He sits in a lap or a chair by himself, or next to us in a booth. At MIL's he stands on a step stool at the breakfast bar. And he has done so since he has been standing/walking on his own, so about a year. before that it was purely lap most days (when at a table - I can put him in a high chair for breakfast in front of the TV bad mommy).

Sleep, ugh. Norah sleeps from 9-10 until about 7, with a 2-3 hour nap. She only takes more than that if going somewhere in the car or stroller.And those are brief. And obviously, the overnight sleep has wake ups, last night thankfully fewer than the night before which was HELL.

I have caramel macciato creamer this morning. yum.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I only stopped using the high chair bc he was in a really picky eating phase, dropping all his food off the tray and it was driving me mad. Chris was away and Nora and i were sitting at her small table eating. I was like, this is dumb. I put him at the small table and he's been eating like a champ ever since. Can you get Ava a small table with chairs to eat at?

Mmm caramel macciato creamer!

He just went down now at 11 for his nap. Let's see how long it is!
I can never get him down before 1030 even if he wakes before 6. Our kids are Def different in that regard. I'm thinking if he naps good now, a car ride later will take the edge off and he might still go to bed by 830 or 9.

My new monitor is coming today!! Good timing bc my audio one bit the dust. It won't hold a change at all anymore.

And my baby hawk! Yay!

Nora looks like a little old lady. She's walking around wearing a Terry bath wrap and house shoes. Lol. I'll take a pic if she will let me.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Norah took a brief pre lunch nap. Hoping she goes down again soon.

So far tOday she has eaten 2 bananas, eggs, fruit loops and a quesadilla.

Want a pic of old lady Nora!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Grandma Nora! Hahaha!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

So cute! She just needs Ava's red purse!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

LOL - she is a cutie - and got style to boot. Those aren't Grandma shoes!

Norah has had 3 poops today! ack. too much poop.

Gabe has had no pee accidents, but did have a poop accident. *sigh* that's progress right? I seriously want someone to take him for a week and send him back diaper-free.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Yeah I think her christmas present from us is going to be the little table and chairs from IKEA. I originally wanted to get her the wooden kitchen from IKEA but she's still really enjoying the toy kitchen that my sister gave her so maybe the wooden kitchen can be her birthday present. I was able to get her to sit in her highchair at lunch by giving her a regular fork.







I had been giving her a kid fork but apparently that is not ok.

She ended up taking two naps today which was crazy. I think she's still getting over the rest of that bug. DH said that last night she was pointing to the bedroom trying to tell him she was ready to go to bed.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Just looked at my chart and realized I'm going to be PMSing hardcore this weekend. And the big kids are home. Mama better stock up on wine tomorrow!


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Sleep is back to like poo status. Up a million times last night and then up for the day at 6. It was still dark. Should I try going back to 2 naps?? He usually sleeps 2, maybe 2.5 hours straight for naps. 12 hours total sleep (night + naps). I just don't know what to do. It's all a crap shoot. I can see him being ready for nap today by 11 since he got up so early. Sigh. C'mon buddy! Stop screwing with sleep!!!


Would he talk a maybe 30 min nap in the morning, and then a slightly later afternoon nap? I dunno, If I could get Ten to sleep for 2.5 hours for one nap, I'd be hesitant to do anything to disrupt that, so I feel your pain. I -think- around a year, NCSS talks about them needing closer to 14 hours, but how to go about getting that, is a lot harder!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> The only hard part about her sitting in the big chair is she likes to move around, stand up, etc and I'm constantly having to catch her from falling. Scares the crap out of me!


Would she sit if she had... guidance? lol I use a swaddling blanket and tie it like a seatbelt around Tenley if she's in a big chair. Then she feels grownup, but can't fall out.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I have caramel macciato creamer this morning. yum.


nom nom nom. I think I need to go to Starbucks tomorrow.

Speaking of... I loaned a mama from my babywearing and CD group a couple dipes that I got from my doula work (so they were sent to me free by companies). She gave me a $10 sbux card for it. I was like you odn't have to!! But she wouldn't take it back! I feel bad!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I can never get him down before 1030 even if he wakes before 6. Our kids are Def different in that regard. I'm thinking if he naps good now, a car ride later will take the edge off and he might still go to bed by 830 or 9.


Tenley is the same. Even if she's up at 7am, I can't seem to get her down for her nap until around 1030 or 11. Lately she's pushing it to noon even. But she needs that second nap SO bad!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Yeah I think her christmas present from us is going to be the little table and chairs from IKEA. I originally wanted to get her the wooden kitchen from IKEA but she's still really enjoying the toy kitchen that my sister gave her so maybe the wooden kitchen can be her birthday present. I was able to get her to sit in her highchair at lunch by giving her a regular fork.
> 
> ...


That's my plan for Christmas/Birthday-- I want to do one of those repurposed kitchens out of an entertainment unit.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Would she sit if she had... guidance? lol I use a swaddling blanket and tie it like a seatbelt around Tenley if she's in a big chair. Then she feels grownup, but can't fall out.
> 
> That's my plan for Christmas/Birthday-- I want to do one of those repurposed kitchens out of an entertainment unit.


No, Ava has her own ideas about what she should and shouldn't be doing. Not to scare you but Tenley is headed down that path. I'm learning to just follow her lead as much as possible. It scares the bejeezus out of me to hand her a regular sharp fork but that's what she wants to eat with. Gotta let her go, you know?

I had originally looked at making her a little kitchen from a LACK square side table that I saw on Pinterest. But then by the time I priced out everything, it was almost as expensive as just buying the wooden kitchen, especially now that the price has been reduced at the US IKEAs. It's super cute too, I've seen it in person. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S49874533/


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Yeah, we might end up going that route. I got the idea here: http://www.younghouselove.com/2012/01/claras-christmas-kitchen/ And I've wanted to make one ever since. There's some pretty extravagant ones on pinterest, and since DH works at Rona, a lot of the little things to make it seem "real" are pretty cheap. But again... we'll see how it actually pans out!

Oh and yes! I read your escapades with Ava and I can just SEE my future!! lol

So, had a 3.5 hour stretch of sleep last night!! This was after almost an hour of screaming, but you know... small victories! That's two longer stretches in the last week and a half or so! But-- both of them have been while in bed with us. So, I mean, still more sleep than if I was getting up every hour with her in crib, but not great. But I mean, we've always said that if she were sleeping substantially better in bed than in her crib, then we would just... figure it out. So if we find that this starts happening regularly, then we'll find some option that works. Which I guess means a new bed, because I still can't figure out the space for the side carred crib. The only thing I thought of was butting my side of the bed up against the wall. I'm wondering if that would help.

Ok, I went and dug up photos. So, same view obviously, looking in from the door. At the foot of the bed in this photo, is the closet- It's maybe 3 feet from the foot? And then just to the left of the chair, you can see the vent on the floor that we can't cover up. The bed is pushed all the way into the wall in this photo. That chair is gone, but there's a dresser than runs almost that whole wall now.



This is the current layout. You can see how the vent is just barely not covered by the bed, but if we push the bed into the corner this way, then it would cover up too much of it. We could fit a sidecar in on that side of the bed, but we're not left with much space on the close side- which is where we need to get into our closet. So I -think- if we tried to sidecar it would have to be this way, and just be really snug trying to get clothes, and if we pushed the bed against the wall, it would have to be the first way.

LOL I think I'm talking myself in circles!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I'll try and straighten up my room enough to not be embarrassed and I'll take a photo of the "walkable" space around my bed right now. It's laughable. If it were me, I would leave the bed the way it is right now, pull it away from the wall far enough to shove the sidecar in and then push the bed back. It won't cover the vent and I think you should still have room to get in your closet. If your bed is right at the closet, does it keep it from opening?


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

No, we can still open, they're sliding mirrored doors, like the type where only half the closet is open at once, and you can never get to the stuff in the middle anyways  lol

There's someone on our local buy/sell site selling an ikea crib for $20 with no hardware and they live a few blocks from DH's work. I'm trying to guess how hard it would be to "make" replacement hardware. Then we'd just have to find a second mattress (or not, but I'd rather have one in each "bed")


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Which crib is it? If it's the one I have, I can scan in the instructions that show the hardware and email it to you.


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I have an ikea crib, trying to remember if I posted a pic of our sidecar situation .. . I will repost anyway.

Though, honestly Norah doesn't actually sleep in it much. It does give us more room, or it feels like it, because she can be on the very edge, or half/half, and I don't have to worry.

We have this crib, couldn't find the pic of our actual sidecar stuff . . .


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

You could squish a small crib or a portable crib/pack and play in there! Who cares if you can walk around?? Sleep is soooo worth it!!!!!

I'm not getting any so this is my 2 cents on the matter. LOL. I would sleep hanging upside down on the moon if I was going to get more than an hour at a time!









No time, but wanted to say Chris's Europe trip got cancelled. He is SO pissed right now at his job. I'll elaborate soon, but man. It's tense in this house!!

I'm loving my new babyhawk!

I'm also loving my new baby monitor! OMG i should have bought one months ago. The relief of being able to SEE him when he fusses is a whole new level of comfort. I can't believe how he can scream out, flip over, roll around, and resettle all on his own!

I got this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Philips-AVENT-Digital-Video-Monitor/dp/B003YC0W86/ref=sr_1_3?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1348839774&sr=1-3&keywords=phillips+avent+baby+monitor

Have to hopefully run out to party city today to get stuff for Nora's class party on Tuesday. I have to somehow also make soy free, vegan, nut free cupcakes. Oye.

She wants a disney princess party she finally decided. I'm just glad she finally PICKED something. Her family party will be at our house on 10/20. Not huge. Not like Finn's 1st. Just immediate fam and close friends. Honestly my two closest friends probably won't make it -- they should be holding newborns!! I cannot WAIT for this influx of new babies in my circle!! I want to hold them and kiss them ...and then hand them back!

Lauri - booooo to pms! I'm o'ing this weekend. fertile crazies have kicked in!!!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I have the summer infant touch video monitor. LOVE it. it is so more importnat to to see vs. hear, IMHO.

JJ: could you use something like this? http://www.walmart.com/ip/Dream-on-Me-Aden-3-in-1-Fixed-Side-Convertible-Mini-Crib-Cherry/19526127

I am getting some better sleep. Not as much as I'd like, but who knows when that might happen.

boo for Chris's job and tension.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Hmmm. I thought it looked like that Ikea crib, but now I see the top is different, and maybe the spindles too? This is the ad: http://winnipeg.kijiji.ca/c-ViewAdLargeImage?AdId=417192099

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> I'm not getting any so this is my 2 cents on the matter. LOL. I would sleep hanging upside down on the moon if I was going to get more than an hour at a time!


LOL I so hear you. And that's why I'm like. ok-- if she's actually going to sleep more being in the bed, then yes, I'm totally going to find a way to make that work. It's just when she was waking up just as often, that it didn't seem worth it, kwim? So, she slept in her bed last night, and longest stretch was 1.5 hours. Tonight I think I'll try in our bed again...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> JJ: could you use something like this? http://www.walmart.com/ip/Dream-on-Me-Aden-3-in-1-Fixed-Side-Convertible-Mini-Crib-Cherry/19526127


I looked at the mini-cribs, but they only give you a few more inches, and then we have to buy new, and have to buy the mini-mattress and sheets, which starts making it a quite expensive choice.

I measured last night, and with a normal size crib pushed into the side with the window, it would mean we'd have about 20" left between the side of the bed and closet. Not totally impossible. I dunno, I'll have to talk to DH tonight more.

I'm buying my iphone today!! I've been wanting a smart phone for several years, but could never justify. But now with trying to get a business off the ground (well in theory, I'm not really trying anymore), and then being out and about with Ten more, it'll be really nice to have internet on the go. I've had so many times lately where I could have used it to look up a bus schedule, or where an address was, or even just sitting at a park for a playdate, wondering if anyone else is going to show up- it would have been nice to be able to check FB. Plus having the games and the camera, so poor DH can have his ipod back. He has one, but almost always leaves it for me to play with, so he never gets to actually enjoy it.

So, I'm biting the bullet of the extra $20/month for the plan, and using bday money to pay for the actual phone. Yay! I think I'm leaning towards getting the 4s rather than the brand new 5 though. It's $100 difference, and I don't see a lot of reason why the 5 would be better for me (especially for someone who has never owned one and won't know the difference!)


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Woo hoo on the new phone!! You'll love it. I have an android phone (samsung galaxy S III) and I adore having all the ability to connect to whomever/whatever I need while I'm home or out. I love being able to read my books (kindle) while I'm nursing or up in the middle of the night. Navigation is nice! GPS is nice! Having a camera with the ability to upload pics to FB means we should be seeing much more of Tenley!! That makes me happy!!


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

Long time no talk!

Wow - I have been busy. My blog is literally taking off - it's crazy. I have managed to stumble across a crazy niche that's for sure. Now I just need to finish my book! LOL

I don't think I am going to be able to make it to the get together you are all planning. It is still REALLY far away from me and flying with 4 kids is just to expensive.

Other than that, my kids are driving me crazy, my house is not self cleaning no matter how long I wait, and my laundry is not doing itself either









See ya ladies around, probably more on FB than anything.


----------



## annie2186 (Apr 13, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> So, I'm biting the bullet of the extra $20/month for the plan, and using bday money to pay for the actual phone. Yay! I think I'm leaning towards getting the 4s rather than the brand new 5 though. It's $100 difference, and I don't see a lot of reason why the 5 would be better for me (especially for someone who has never owned one and won't know the difference!)


Yay!! You are going to LOVE it! I have had an iPhone for about 4 years, but am eligible for an upgrade the end of Oct. I am thinking of getting the iPhone 5 (I have the 4 now, not the 4S)

I definitely love the Kindle app on my phone as well. Especially now that I am finding all of these awesome free books! LOL


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Woo hoo on the new phone!! You'll love it. I have an android phone (samsung galaxy S III) and I adore having all the ability to connect to whomever/whatever I need while I'm home or out. I love being able to read my books (kindle) while I'm nursing or up in the middle of the night. Navigation is nice! GPS is nice! Having a camera with the ability to upload pics to FB means we should be seeing much more of Tenley!! That makes me happy!!


I've barely even touched it, and I already love it! We had a playdate scheduled for after I picked up the phone. I get there... and no one is home. And this friend doesn't have wireless. So normally, I'd have just had to guess and then walk back to the bus and wait until it shows up. But because I had my new phone, I was able to look up FB, see that she hadn't messaged me to say she'd be back in a minute or something like that... and then look up the bus schedule and walk back to the stop on top. Brilliant.

Oh, and you have no idea. I have Aug/Sept and a bit of July photos loaded into lightroom right now to go through, delete, and then edit. There's over 400 photos!! I just never have time to sit and go through them! But, July is almost ready, so I'll try to post those soon! She is getting so freaking big and toddler-like.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

OMG, I need to get one of those tiny houses I posted on FB for when I'm PMSing. DH is trying to be nice and having some of the kids make breakfast for me but what's really happening is the kitchen is getting destroyed, they are pretending it's Food Network Challenge and I'm going to be left cleaning the kitchen and washing every dish in the kitchen. Arghhhh! My head is going to explode!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I FEEL YA, LAURI!

DH never takes initiative like that, but I'm glad he doesn't b/c the same thing would happen! Huge mess for me to clean!

Hope everyone has a good day! I'll be around.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Tiny houses should be an add-on must for every bigger house. Ahhhhh space! lol


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, now they've moved on to birthday cake. CHOCOLATE birthday cake. There's chocolate frosting and chocolate cake crumbs and chocolate cake batter EVERYWHERE. Send more wine! I don't want to be a b*tch. I want to be appreciative. But this is not the weekend for these shenanigans. Gah!


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Just eat all the chocolate!! That mess would have me leaving the house with explicit instructions that it be cleaned up by the time I get back! Or that I wouldn't come back! LOL!

The kids are in rare crabby form today. Going to the ILs for pizza later. Chris is also grumpy. I seem to be the only one in a good mood!? WTF?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Hope the rest of your family snaps out of it Baby_Cakes! The birthday celebration is over. Thank goodness. And the big kids just left for the rest of the day to go do something at their mom's church so now Ava can get a good nap. I'm napping with her! Oh and I just went and talked to my neighbor's mom about watching Ava on Mon and Wed so that is starting this upcoming week. Ava's current babysitter just started her maternity leave. My mom is going to have Ava on Tues and Thurs. Whew! Glad that worked out!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

DH has been grumpy all week. I hate that.
Enjoy your chocolate. Chocolate wine is delish.
Busy day with the kiddos, now Gabe is crabby. Arghh
Yes, tiny kid free house!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Well, damn! I've missed way too many posts to catch up. Sorry. I didn't get any email notifications again! I'm going to complain because this is ridiculous.

Annie ~ I've been meaning to ask you, how did Ava get up the steps of the Courthouse at Williamsburg?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

She climbed. She LOVES climbing steps. The main library that we go to has an area in the toddler section that's two carpeted steps for people to sit on and read books. When we go, Ava spends the whole time going up and down the steps. She's not interested in the books at all!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

If she climbs, wouldn't that mean she can do that alternating arm/leg thing you were saying someone told you she needed to be able to learn to read and was concerned about because she wasn't crawling? Seems to me there's nothing to worry about if she can climb stairs like that.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

She only does one level at a time so she doesn't alternate between legs even. She mostly climbs by putting her right leg up. Then she sits and reaches and does the same thing on the next level. I'm not concerned about it but my mom is a "worrier". She's not happy if she doesn't have something to worry about. :/


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I'm trying to visualize how she got up those stairs and I can't.







Yeah, I don't understand what there is to worry about, either. If she's using only or mostly her right side to move, maybe her left side isn't as strong because of the surgeries?

I do not think I can take dh's stupidity today. He went to a casino night thing for work last night. I stayed home because that's not my thing. He didn't want to go, either, but it was sort of required. So, I was asking him what it was like and all I'm getting is a bunch of grunts.

"Did you hang out with Tracie and Is all night?"

"Uh"

"What?"

"No. They played craps all night and I don't like craps."

"What is craps?" (Because I know nothing about gambling or casino games.)

"A game."

"No shit, it's a game. You were at casino night and you said, "playing." What kind of game?"

"A dice game," he yells.

WTF? That's not a normal conversation and he got angry with me for asking. So, I finally said that I wouldn't bother asking him anymore because he obviously doesn't want to share his experience with me. Then he goes into this whole, "What do you want to know? It was really kind of boring." Gee, idk. Why not just tell me that from the get-go? "It was boring. I didn't really see anyone I know or could talk to much. I played such-and-such a game and stood around waiting for it to be over." I can't even get that much out of him.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I'm trying to visualize how she got up those stairs and I can't.
> 
> ...


UGHH. Yes, typical. He is being not forthcoming w/details and all you want is a conversation. Frustrating!!

Chris and I are in a dead head argument. He bothered me again at 10 pm last night JUST as I'm going to sleep for sex. I was caught off guard (Maybe by now I shouldn't be. Maybe I'm being thick in thinking he might realize how freaking tired I am??) and I was apologetic but I said no. I'm so TIRED. I got upset b/c he started rattling off again how we aren't connected and we never see each other or spend quality time together. I started to cry b/c it hurts my feelings that he thinks sex is the only way we stay connected. What about all the touches and kisses during the day? What about the laughs and the good times and the conversations? I asked him if that all means nothing to him? I'm genuinely concerned now that something is just really wrong -- how can he put so much value into this??? It's a great addition to our/a relationship, it's wonderful when it happens but for it to be how you define the happiness in your relationship to me seems selfish and dumb.

He told me to forget about it and told me to go to bed.

I told him he needs to help me get more sleep so maybe I'll have energy or desire to do stuff with him at night. It's not fair that he can sleep 7-9 hours straight all night yet I'm still in zombie land, and being told that I'm responsible for our relationship issues. I work so hard to keep these kids (AND HIM) happy. I'm sick of being told I'm not good enough. I'm freaking tired.

So then Finn was up a million times to nurse last night. He's up at 6 and I text chris to please come get him and hang out with him? No response. I get up with him. I go out -- he didn't set up the coffee last night. Tears were just burning in my eyes, seriously. I was so mad. When he got up I gave him a piece of my mind. We fought. He took the kids outside. We didn't speak all morning. 
Finally I just said listen, I'm not going to argue with you all day and have it be tense in the house. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of this. Lets just move on.

So annoyed.

Anyway, just venting. Idk what to think or do anymore. I'm too tired to think OR do.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

It's kind of hard to explain but she hitches her right leg up while reaching with both arms and pulls herself up. Then she sits and reaches up and does the same thing again. It isn't so much that her left side is weaker, just that her right side is more dominant I think. She keeps her left leg tucked under when she's "crawling" but she reaches and balances herself with her left arm.







She was standing up holding my hands today and I let go and she didn't really think about the fact that I had let go and she took three sideways steps. It was crazy! I was hopeful that she would be walking by next weekend for my niece's second birthday party. It's at a My Gym place and she would have more fun if she was walking but she'll still have fun either way.

Communication...ugh. So tough. Always. And DTD...always an imbalance in my house. I've tried to explain to DH that I think it's normal for two people in a relationship to have varying desires for DTD and he thinks it's indicative of a problem. No, when I have a YI and DTD is the last thing from my mind, it does not mean that I don't love him or find him attractive. It just means that my crotch burning like it's on fire from a YI does not equal sexy time to me! Now that I'm getting more sleep, I'm more inclined to DTD. I got so frustrated with DH last night. I was getting Ava ready for bed and I said something about getting her bedtime snack and DH was all "What do you mean, a bedtime snack?" GAH! I told him like two months ago to start giving her a bedtime snack right before he took her in to lay down. Dinner, bath, naked playtime, diaper and pjs, bedtime snack and then bottle in bed. That's the routine to follow to help Ava have a good night's sleep. Apparently that got lost in translation somewhere. So she ate half of a scrambled egg, took a nice bottle and slept so well last night. She only woke for milk 3 times and the last time was at 1 AM. And she only really woke then because her gums were bothering her. So she slept from 1 AM-8:30 AM pretty much straight. I heard her sit up and say something to me around 4 AM but she just laid back down and went to sleep. No fussing, no milk needed. It was awesome. I still had to get up and pump at 4:30 AM but I'll take it. Now if I can just get DH to remember to give her a bedtime snack.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Sean said last night just before he left for the casino thing that he's realized he's freakin' hot and he doesn't know how I can keep my hands off him. I rolled my eyes and said, "Exhaustion." It was all in good fun joking/teasing.

I don't think he is purposely withholding info from me. I seriously think he just doesn't know how to have a normal conversation with me. IDK I've heard him have conversations with others. He talks to his dad. He talks to my mom's boyfriend, Tom. Tom asks him about work and he goes on and on. I ask and all I get are one syllable grunts. I really don't get it. Maybe because he's become so used to working with and, therefore, talking to only men (there are no female Marines in the combat arms) that he has forgotten how, thinks it's not something I'd be interested in. Or maybe he got so used to withholding the bad stuff that he was into when he was deployed that he now just doesn't tell me anything?









I forgot to post the whole reason I posted all of that. I think I might be PMSing.







We shall see if/when







shows. I'm on cd20 or 21. I had one obvious day of ewcf a couple of days ago and have been constipated since. TMI but constipation is a big sign for me that I've Oed or at least have elevated levels of progesterone.

If you were crying, I think Chris needs to show you some empathy and compassion. Have you expressed your hurt to him or only your anger? I have a tendency to express my anger but not express my hurt, which is the emotion that triggers the anger. They say anger is always a secondary emotion. It's a safe expression of fear, mostly, or pain (and emotional pain usually stems from fear, too).

As far as him seeming to only value sex and not appreciate all the other ways of expressing your love and connection, sex may be his big love language. That doesn't mean that what he's doing is ok or that you should have sex with him every time he wants but it may help you understand where he's coming from and not take it so personally. Do you want my book? I found it.

We've been cleaning the dining room. It has become a storage room and I hate it. It's the first room everyone sees when they come in the door and I don't like it looking like a dump. That's the whole reason I made the official dining that's in the back next to the kitchen the downstairs school/playroom and made the formal living in the front the dining room. We have nice dining room furniture and decorations and I got pretty curtains so the room would look fancy but now it' just looks like a dump. We got a lot done and then I had to stop to nurse Dylan and later make food for Kellen and dh just quit. I don't know where he went or what he's doing. Because I had to feed the kids he's decided he doesn't have to do any cleaning anymore. And that's why nothing gets finished around here.

Oh, and I asked him yesterday about tackling the dining room today. He said fine. Then this morning he asked me when I was planning to do it. IDK. I was still drinking my coffee. Does it matter? We have all day, right? Apparently, not because he needs to get a haircut and do the grocery shopping. Why didn't he tell me that yesterday when I asked him? No mention whatsoever about having to do anything else today. I think I have PMDD!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Annie ~ We crossposted.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> II've tried to explain to DH that I think it's normal for two people in a relationship to have varying desires for DTD and he thinks it's indicative of a problem.


Here's why I take such a hard stance on this type of attitude. You all can tell me if I'm way out there. (I guess this is also about the YI issue but I already deleted that part of the quote.)

I think this attitude comes from back in the day when women were considered property and required to satisfy their husband's sexual desires regardless of how they felt. It didn't matter if you were sick, in pain or just plain exhausted from taking care of 10 kids all day, you were still expected to spread 'em for your man. Being married does not mean that your husband has the authority to demand sex from you. No where in the marriage vows does it say you agree to Eff your husband any time and any way he wants. Sorry, not in the contract. It is not a marriage obligation. Men need to just get over it.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Here's my take on that. If I'm saying no just because I'm tired or touched out or just not in the mood, I try to reconsider. I do LOTS of things for my kids even though I'm tired, touched out and not in the mood so I feel like I should afford the same respect to my husband. If however DTD would result in pain or more pain, I don't think it's ok for the other partner to cajole you in to DTD. DH is very specific that he does not want to DTD with me if it causes me pain.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> If I'm saying no just because I'm tired or touched out or just not in the mood, I try to reconsider.


If my husband is doing things to help me so that I don't feel so tired or touched out, then yes. If he's not doing much more than going to work and coming home waiting for sex while I run around 24/7 trying to take care of all the kids and the entire home, then no. DH cooks dinner almost every night but that is not enough, imo. There are so many little things that go into taking care of kids and running a home that he doesn't do.

For example, he left the big bag of toilet paper sitting on the floor in the kitchen for days. I finally got it and put it in the bathroom but it sat in there out and open for days so that D could get and TP the house whenever he wanted. DH never made any attempt to actually put the toilet paper away. That is a very little thing but when it's one more thing I have to deal with that he could have easily done while he was putting all the other groceries away, it ticks me off.

If the toilet is dirty, scrub it. If the sink is dirty, wipe it down. If there's laundry, wash it or dry it or fold it. If there are crumbs on the floor, sweep them up. If there's a laundry basket at the bottom of the stairs, carry it up or vice versa. And on and on and on...If you aren't going to do any of that, don't complain to me about the house being a mess and you not getting enough sex.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I told him he needs to help me get more sleep so maybe I'll have energy or desire to do stuff with him at night. It's not fair that he can sleep 7-9 hours straight all night yet I'm still in zombie land, and being told that I'm responsible for our relationship issues. I work so hard to keep these kids (AND HIM) happy. I'm sick of being told I'm not good enough. I'm freaking tired.


Ugh. I feel you. And great big huge understanding hugs. We go through the same thing here, way more often than I'd like. And then it somehow turns into this idea that our marriage is failing because we're not having more sex. Ummm no. Our marriage is fine, we're not having sex because we don't have the time and energy to have sex!

ie We stayed up last night and dtd. I wanted to go to sleep at about 11pm, I didn't end up actually going to sleep until almost 2am by the time I'd settled in again and nursed Ten, etc etc. During that time, she had a 2 hour stretch of sleep that I missed (cry!!). And then she slept for almost 3.5 hours. Fantastic. But she was up for the day at 8... so... I slept "6 hours" during which I woke up at 530, 630, and then nursed off an on from 630-8. So I probably got more like 5 hours of sleep. Not that I don't -enjoy- sex. But I also would have enjoyed that extra 3 hours of sleep!! lol But the boys don't get that, because they have sex, and then get to roll over and sleep soundly for the rest of the night... and then the next night, and the next.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> It's kind of hard to explain but she hitches her right leg up while reaching with both arms and pulls herself up. Then she sits and reaches up and does the same thing again. It isn't so much that her left side is weaker, just that her right side is more dominant I think. She keeps her left leg tucked under when she's "crawling" but she reaches and balances herself with her left arm.
> 
> I got so frustrated with DH last night. I was getting Ava ready for bed and I said something about getting her bedtime snack and DH was all "What do you mean, a bedtime snack?" GAH! I told him like two months ago to start giving her a bedtime snack right before he took her in to lay down. Dinner, bath, naked playtime, diaper and pjs, bedtime snack and then bottle in bed. That's the routine to follow to help Ava have a good night's sleep. Apparently that got lost in translation somewhere.


Ten kind of crawls the same where she'll 'reach' with one leg and pull the other. BUT, we noticed if she has no pants on (nothing to drag), she'll crawl "normally". It's weird.

OMG Yes!! DH laughs at some of the things I tell him multiple times, but it's because I'm never sure when he's actually listening. We've had a new diaper bag for like what, almost 5 months now? The same things always go into the same pockets-- tylenol is always in the inside zipper, ipod always in the back zipper, my wallet always in the front zipper, etc. Over and over again, I'll ask DH to grab me something and he's like "I don't know where it is!" and bring me the bag. I'm like ummm same place it's been for the last 5 months? And he will claim I've never told him that. *rolls eyes*

Anyways, glad she's getting more sleep when she's got a full belly! Tenley has not been eating as many solids as I think she needs, driving me nuts. I pulled out a jar of food last night (we have some in the house, and feed at times we know she won't (or shouldn't) eat what we're having). She managed to eat the WHOLE jar. And then slept 2 hours and almost 3.5 hours. And we've noticed the same thing several other times that we've actually gotten a lot of food into her. So I'm going to be making more of an effort to pump her with foods before bed. She already eats dinner right before the bath routine, but doesn't normally eat -enough-.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Maybe because he's become so used to working with and, therefore, talking to only men (there are no female Marines in the combat arms) that he has forgotten how, thinks it's not something I'd be interested in. Or maybe he got so used to withholding the bad stuff that he was into when he was deployed that he now just doesn't tell me anything?


Rob used to do that. I would try to talk to him, and get one word responses, but then he'd call his mom or sister and tell them all about his work day. I didn't understand, because I wanted to hear these stories too! He said he just thought I didn't want to talk about it, and was trying not to talk to me about stuff I'd found boring. I guess somewhere along the line, I'd commented that something didn't interest me, and so he thought I didn't want to hear about anything at all, and found other people to talk to about these things....

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> If the toilet is dirty, scrub it. If the sink is dirty, wipe it down. If there's laundry, wash it or dry it or fold it. If there are crumbs on the floor, sweep them up. If there's a laundry basket at the bottom of the stairs, carry it up or vice versa. And on and on and on...If you aren't going to do any of that, don't complain to me about the house being a mess and you not getting enough sex.


Yes. To a point I mean, but I've had the conversation with DH that I'm much more willing to fulfil his needs, if he helps out with mine. Mine just happen to be keeping the house clean. As a "housewife" I am -totally- ok with being responsible for the bulk of the cleaning. I'll be the one to do the laundry, and clean the bathroom, and sweep the floors, etc. However-- that doesn't mean that if you use a glass, you can just leave it on the bedside table, or you can leave your clean laundry in the basket for a week, or you can just keep piling stuff on the kitchen table without a second thought. I expect that he cleans up -after himself-, and I will take care of the deep cleaning. If he can't be bothered to put his own dishes in the dishawasher, then I can't be bothered to give up 2 hours of sleep for sex! lol


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> If my husband is doing things to help me so that I don't feel so tired or touched out, then yes. If he's not doing much more than going to work and coming home waiting for sex while I run around 24/7 trying to take care of all the kids and the entire home, then no. DH cooks dinner almost every night but that is not enough, imo. There are so many little things that go into taking care of kids and running a home that he doesn't do.
> For example, he left the big bag of toilet paper sitting on the floor in the kitchen for days. I finally got it and put it in the bathroom but it sat in there out and open for days so that D could get and TP the house whenever he wanted. DH never made any attempt to actually put the toilet paper away. That is a very little thing but when it's one more thing I have to deal with that he could have easily done while he was putting all the other groceries away, it ticks me off.
> If the toilet is dirty, scrub it. If the sink is dirty, wipe it down. If there's laundry, wash it or dry it or fold it. If there are crumbs on the floor, sweep them up. If there's a laundry basket at the bottom of the stairs, carry it up or vice versa. And on and on and on...If you aren't going to do any of that, don't complain to me about the house being a mess and you not getting enough sex.





















Ok so we talked -- have to throw dinner on but I will come back tonight and fill you guys in.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> As a "housewife" I am -totally- ok with being responsible for the bulk of the cleaning.


I'm not a housewife, maid or housekeeper. I didn't marry a house. I married a man. I worked full time to support myself and my child and earned more money than he did for years before I had his first, my 2nd, child. I am now a stay-at-home-mom. My job is taking care of the kids, not cleaning the house. I know a lot of people will say that taking care of the kids includes cleaning the house. I agree with that to a certain extent. I don't leave dangerous messes around or not clean up anything all day. However, my primary job is direct care of our children, feeding, making sure they are safe, taking them here or there, finding things for us to do together, basically filling up our days. My husband's primary job is as a Marine. We share the responsibility of taking care of our home. We also share responsibility of taking care of our children when we are both home. He does not get to clock out of the office at 5 pm (or 7 pm as the case may be), come home and relax while I'm still expected to be on the clock for the kids 24/7.

This is all in my mind, of course.







My dh does a lot but he doesn't do nearly half. He'll do just about anything I ask him. I don't think he's ever refused to do anything I've asked. But I also think I shouldn't have to ask him to scrub the toilet if it's dirty. That is not my job. I shouldn't have to ask him to make lunch for the kids on the weekend when he's making lunch for himself and doesn't even ask if anyone else is hungry. Until he actually does half I'm not going to kiss his butt.

Carrie ~ Just tell your dh he's lucky he isn't married to me.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

MW, that's a good point. When I'm nannying, it's expected that my primary job is to care for the children. I'm expected to pick up after them and sometimes do their laundry but I don't do deep cleaning. That's what the cleaning lady is for!







I'd love to get to the point where we can have someone come in every other week to clean bathrooms and floors. Have you ever approached your DH about that? It probably wouldn't be too expensive, maybe $100-150/month. I'm trying to take advantage of getting home relatively early on Sunday evenings (9:30 PM) and get some stuff done since Ava is already in bed. I just cleaned the bathroom that everyone except for me and Ava use and I scrubbed the kitchen floor. I may try to get the living room vacuumed. We'll see. The Giants are playing.









Tomorrow is the first day that Ava is getting left with someone that she doesn't know very well. I'm nervous about that. I don't want her to be stressed out but I think it's kind of unavoidable. Her regular babysitter just started her maternity leave. My mom can only have her on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons so I took my neighbor up on her offer to help out with Ava sometimes. Her mom moved in with her to watch her 2 yr old since she is a professor. She teaches mostly online but she can't do that with Anu running around. So her mom watches Anu and another 2 yr old Danny and she said she would be willing to have Ava for the 2 hrs when I need to go to work but DH isn't off work yet on Mondays and Wednesdays. We went over on Saturday and met her. Ava played with some of Anu's toys and even took some of the toys over to share with Marina. And she let Marina hold her. So I think it will be ok but tomorrow will probably be rough. I'm hoping she will be distracted by playing with Anu and Danny and it won't be this traumatic crying episode. I've already told DH he needs to be home no later than 5 PM to minimize her first day over there.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Oh yeah, I mean I agree. At the end of the day, Tenley is my job. She's why I'm at home. But I also only have the one kid to take care of, while all of you guys have at least 2. And so I do feel like if I want to remain home (disclaimer: This is -totally- on me, and not coming from DH at all), and not contribute to the household -income-, then I try to contribute in other ways, namely-- evening out my lack of income by saving us money around the home- we don't have to hire a housekeeper, because I do it, and we don't have to buy as much expensive packaged meals, if I make stuff from scratch. But I mean that's an ideal, and I'm totally a believer that my "work day" ends at the same time DH gets home.

I don't feel like I'm explaining this very well. :/ Like ok... DH gets home at 4pm now. So until 4pm, I am "on". Tenley is my full time job, but I also try to get any cleaning done that I can. Sometimes that means I get a ton done, and other days, meh- Tenley is all that gets done. And that's ok. It evens out. Come 4pm- we share the responsibilities (this is... you know, in theory- ie we stick bicker because I feel like I do more than DH during this time period). One of us takes Ten while the other makes dinner, then we switch and one watches her while the other does some cleaning, etc etc. Does that make sense?

Also, I don't use the term 'housewife' in a derogatory way, just... descriptive?

I guess, for us, me being a SAHM is only really possible, or only really makes sense, if I'm able to contribute something extra to the house while I'm home. I can do this right now in the form of better meals for us and keeping the house in a bit better condition. That said-- This will totally change once I have more than one child to take care of. I can't imagine for instance having the four children and then finding time to clean a bathroom or wash a floor. If we ever somehow actually had 3-4 children I would definitely, absolutely, expect my house cleaning workload to drop.

Anyways, somewhat on topic. We had a -really- good weekend together, being productive. Friday evening we got a bunch of house cleaning done, nothing deep cleaning, but just kitchen clean, and tidying the bedroom and living room, and I managed to cut and cook 4 bags of chicken to freeze for easy meals at later dates. Then Sat morning we got up and my SIL came over and watched Tenley while we worked on the basement. And then like I said, she had a better night. Then today we got up, cleaned some more, and then my BFF came over and watched Ten while we did more basement work. She even took Ten to the park. And then my father and sister came over for a short visit, so Tenley stayed up late. When I finally got her to bed she -crashed-, and was SO deadweight. Anyways, so we managed to get the entire laundry room drywalled, and taped and the first coat of mud is on it. I am SOOO excited to see it take shape. It'll be probably 2-3 more days of mudding, since it takes so long to dry, but by Wed or so, I should be able to prime and paint! After that, cabinets go in!

Annnnddd, since we had such a productive weekend, and I was able to clean during the day as we went (and recharge my batteries, since I had some Tenley free time), I put her to bed at 9pm tonight, came out to the kitchen, threw a few dishes in the dishwasher and.... that's it! There's nothing else really for me to do other than sit and enjoy. Ahhh. So nice.

I'm really enjoying the new phone. It's helping me not to spend as much time on the computer since I often turn the thing on "just to check my email", but then get sidetracked, and all of a sudden I realize I've been on for an hour. With the phone, I pull it up, take 2 minutes, and then can put it down without getting sucked in, since it's not as easy to browse around and find random fun things to waste time on.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> MW, that's a good point. When I'm nannying, it's expected that my primary job is to care for the children. I'm expected to pick up after them and sometimes do their laundry but I don't do deep cleaning. That's what the cleaning lady is for!


It's funny that you bring up the nannying! My cousin and I were talking about that the other day-- we both spent a lot of time babysitting and nannying before having kids. We were like "How the hell did we leave the house so clean and organized at the end of every day?? How did we have time to clean up while watching the kids at the same time? And why can't we do it now?" We came to the conclusion that it's the restorative sleep at night-- as babysitters and nannies, we still got 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. Not so much now!


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> It's funny that you bring up the nannying! My cousin and I were talking about that the other day-- we both spent a lot of time babysitting and nannying before having kids. We were like "How the hell did we leave the house so clean and organized at the end of every day?? How did we have time to clean up while watching the kids at the same time? And why can't we do it now?" We came to the conclusion that it's the restorative sleep at night-- as babysitters and nannies, we still got 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. Not so much now!


Sooooo true! It's easy for me to be fun and zippy and creative and spunky when I've had sleep! Also, it helps that the families I nanny for are extremely well-off so I work with a very large entertainment budget. And there's always a well-stocked fridge and pantry!


----------



## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

oh my, I've missed alot! I am no good at doing quotes, or too lazy, so I will have forgotten who said what.

Varying levels of sexual desire - this is totally true and I think vacillates in any healthy marriage. I think, within reason, it's good if you can accomodate each other on this. I know MW said something about property and having to serve the husband whether you felt like it or not. I can tell you for a fact, in our own marriage, for the majority of it, I was the one with more sex drive, and DH was accomodating me - even though sex felt like a chore to him. It goes both ways. I know lots of women in marriages like that, where they want far more than their husbands are willing to give. So I don't really agree with the property bit. I am sure it's true for some men, and some marriages, but not really as a blanket statement.

I will also say - when there is an extreme disconnect, there likely are issues. I didn't realize it at the time, but DH was still having issues with porn - not watching it or anything, but still had it on his mind, and found it difficult to find excitement in the marriage bed. We had a good talk about this over the weekend, and I think that we only could now, because we are in a good place, sex wise, and could say things about the past without fear of hurt or blame.

And yes, this past week when DH was grumpy and whatever, I didn't want to have sex and didn't. I was tired, I told him when I got reasonably caught up on sleep then things would change, and they have 

Housewife/Housework. I'm in a different situation, because both DH and I WOH, though I'm the breadwinner. I still do the majority of childcare, but I expect to. I don't mind very much. I do expect that when we are both home, and I am working, that he pick up the slack - I can't really be expected to do my job, and focus on the kids 100%. He does alot more housework than he used to - because frankly, I only do when I have the time and energy, which isn't that often. If I SAH, I'd expect that I would be doing far more of the housework load.

JJ: I think your expectation that your DH share in some responsibilities once he gets home is completely fair. I also think it should be discussed that both of you get some individual down time to decompress (every day would be fantastic, but at least once a week for mental health). When I get home from the office, if the kids are awake, I generally spend the next bit just with them, cuddled on the couch, or watching them play outside, or whatever. They want me and DH usually needs a break. WOH kind of is my mental health break from kids and housework, and I think that's true for DH too, to an extent. If I was a SAHM a break would mean getting to leave the house, without kids, to shop, go get a coffee, or just walk, or something.

I wish I had some observations on Ava climbing - is she ever seen by PT, OT? I don't know if I'd be concerned, so long is she is able to accomplish what she wants to do without too much frustration. But also finding some ways to strengthen her left side might not be a bad idea either.

I can't believe it's October! somebody start that thread! it's a crazy busy month for us. Norah's big 1, my dad turns 50, I turn 31, our 7 year anniversary . . .halloween stuff! It's too much! November is a little better - only Gabe's birthday and Thanksgiving. December and only Christmas will almost be a relief! LOL


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ ~ I didn't think you were using the term housewife in a derogative way. It bothers me because it shows how society completely devalues raising children. You are even doing it (without realizing it, I think) by saying that you feel you should contribute to the household. Earning a paycheck does not make what your husband does more important or valuable or productive. By taking care of Tenley you ARE contributing to the household. You are making the most important contribution.

Here's another way to look at it. If the world as we know it ended today and all that was left was people, no jobs that pay, no money, no credit, no offices to go to or stores to work in or buildings to build or repair, what would be left? My husband wouldn't have a job to go to anymore but I still would. He would have to find some other way to contribute but I wouldn't. No matter what else happens we will still be parents. So, if anything, the thinking should be switched around to the parent who's working outside the home as providing support for the parent who takes care of the children because in the end that's the only thing that really matters. And, yes, in our society the way we live, earning a paycheck is contributing but it's not necessary for survival of the species.
Quote:


> Come 4pm- we share the responsibilities (this is... you know, in theory- ie we stick bicker because I feel like I do more than DH during this time period).


And that's the thing. Almost invariably, no matter how much the man does, it's not half. Until they really do half the work on a regular basis, they don't deserve any special treatment but they get special recognition because they earn a paycheck. That doesn't mean I think you shouldn't, or that I don't, appreciate the things he does do. I'm just saying it's nothing special. It's what's needed to run a home on a daily basis.

My house may not be immaculate but I do a lot more cleaning and household upkeep than my dh does on top of taking care of the basic and directs needs of the kids. If I actually didn't do anything for a day like that cartoon, my dh would probably have a heart attack at the state of things when he got home.









Annie ~ I had a cleaning service after Kellen was born and dh was deployed. It was nice. I can't remember how much it cost but they came every two weeks. I haven't thought about doing it in a while because I was paying off the credit card balance. (Did I tell you all I got that paid off? I was going to make an announcement on Facebook but I don't think I ever did.) That might be doable again now and it might take a load off of both of us.

I don't really have much trouble cleaning floors and bathrooms and doing laundry. It's all the other stuff that doesn't get done, organizing, putting things away. That's what my husband does. He's the organizer while I'm the cleaner. The thing is that he doesn't do much organizing anymore. For example, yesterday we tackled the dining room. We got it almost all the way done. We went through everything. Figured out what we needed to keep and where it went and what we could get rid of. We took care of all of that. At the end there were only a few things left that needed to be put away but are too big or heavy for me to move so my dh said he'd do it. Well, the three large boxes are still sitting in the dining room and the vacuum that he said he'd take upstairs is still sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

Meanwhile, after I went to bed last night or sometime very early this morning he filled a plastic bag with stuff and left it sitting on the floor by the front door. I have no idea what is it, if he's keeping it or it's trash, but he left it right where Dylan could get into it and strew it all over the place. So, the first thing I had to do when I got up this morning was to find somewhere to put it until I can ask him about it. I had to grab it quickly and put it somewhere fast before D got into it. I don't have time to go through everything in it and try to figure out where it all goes.









This isn't coming out as eloquently as I had worked it out in my head.









In other news,

No O for me and D is getting at least 2, maybe 4, more teeth!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Varying levels of sexual desire - this is totally true and I think vacillates in any healthy marriage. I think, within reason, it's good if you can accomodate each other on this. I know MW said something about property and having to serve the husband whether you felt like it or not. I can tell you for a fact, in our own marriage, for the majority of it, I was the one with more sex drive, and DH was accomodating me - even though sex felt like a chore to him. It goes both ways. I know lots of women in marriages like that, where they want far more than their husbands are willing to give. So I don't really agree with the property bit. I am sure it's true for some men, and some marriages, but not really as a blanket statement.


I'm not talking about what goes on on the surface in any given relationship. I'm talking about historically how women have been treated and viewed. It's a feminist issue similar to slavery. Like when white men bitch about the idea of the "slave mentality" in some black people. They say slavery was abolished forever ago and I didn't enslave anyone but that's not the point. Racism is still rampant. And black men were free and got the right vote before women did.

We still have issues with the law and domestic violence and sexual assault. Did you see the news recently about the man who only got probation for masturbating on women on the subway in New York? He was convicted of doing it to numerous women even assaulted a 17 year old girl but only got probation because, according to the judge, no one was harmed. WTH?!

Or what about the idea that a female was asking to be raped because she was wearing a short skirt, or low cut top or got drunk or just got into a car with a male? There are still a lot of people, men and women, who think that way. It shows a basic sense of inequality between men and women. It makes the female responsible for the behavior of the male. The female is the vixen and the poor, silly male can't control himself. It's all her fault for tempting him. He has no responsibility.

People still call females sluts if they date multiple males but males are considered studs or playas. It's a negative thing for females but a positive thing for males. If a young male has sex with a female (like in high school), it's something to brag about. That same female will be shamed for having sex with that same male. Things are changing and getting a little better, maybe (or maybe it's just in my home because I don't allow that kind of talk or behavior around me), but those attitudes are not completely gone.

My point in all of that is that, as a woman and a wife, you should not ever feel guilty for not wanting to or having sex with your husband. If you don't want to do it and your husband isn't doing anything except pushing it and getting pouty about it, that's his problem, not yours. You are not under any obligation to have sex with your husband just because you are married. Sex is an extremely intimate thing. I think it should be done only when both people are completely consensual. If one partner is doing it because s/he feels pressure from the other, it diminishes the act.

I am not saying that if one partner has sex with the other because the other wants to and she's is reciprocating, there is something wrong with that. If that's a way for one partner to show the other that he is appreciated, that's a good thing. But that is a free and individual choice. It is not done because if she doesn't have sex, he will get pissy and refuse to do anything and try to put a guilt trip on her.

Again, this is not coming out as eloquently as it sounds in my head. Guess that's why I'm not a professional writer.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

New thread for October: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1364692/october-2012-rockstar-mamas


----------

