# Were you breastfed or formula fed?



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I was formula fed, and my mom has very negative feelings about breastfeeding. This has made it hard to spend time with her when I had a baby or young toddler who had to nurse frequently.

How were you fed and has it made a difference in any way?


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## C is for Cookie (Jan 27, 2011)

I was the typical formula fed full-time daycare child. It was a sad existence really... I wasn't close with my mom until I was around 4 years old. Anyways, when she is around me and my sisters (we all breastfeed our children), she doesn't say a word. She knows that it is the most natural thing and doesn't seem uncomfortable. She just didn't want to bother with breastfeeding us. Out of us 4 sisters, she breastfed the first child and that was is it. She claimed it hurt and didn't like it.


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

I was BF for about 9 months, sister for about 3 months.... mom didn't have alot of support, so when it got tough, she stopped. My moms mom formula fed from the beginning and she gives us all a hard time if we nurse past about 3-6 months. I get the feeling she feels guilty about not nursing. My mom and MIL all support nursing up to about 18 months, then make little comments about needing to wean.... DD1 nursed to 39 months, DD2 is almost 3 and still going strong and of course, DS is 6 months and is breastfed exclusively.

Sorry you have a hard time with your mom. Hope you can work it out.


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## bruebee (Feb 21, 2012)

I was formula fed. My mom says she tried in the hospital but that it hurt. Funny thing about twenty years later a dentist asked me if my mother had a hard time nursing me. Apparently I have a pretty posterior tounge tie so I'm sure I hurt her a lot! She didnt even try with my younger brother. Luckily she has been very supportive of my nursing experience. She always smiles and tells me shes proud of me when she sees me nursing. She is one of the only family members who hasn't asked me when I'm going to wean my 18 month old.


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

I have five siblings, I'm number three. Kids 1-4 were all breastfed a year. My little sister, number 5, was born at 28 weeks. My mom pumped for her the first four months but wasn't able to get her to latch. She switched to formula after that. My little brother, number 6, was breastfed the first week or so, but had to be readmitted to the hospital for jaundice. The hospital told my mother that she couldn't nurse him during that time and it messed up their nursing relationship, so he was formula fed.


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## mamapigeon (Dec 16, 2010)

I was a formula baby and my parents did CIO in my own room from the beginning. My mom is clearly uncomfortable with my still nursing DS, but she was kind of weird about it when he was a newborn too. I've never used a cover and when he was a newborn she would try to cover me up so that I would be "more comfortable".

I'm hoping she'll lighten up for my second baby, but I'm guessing tandem nursing will throw her for a loop.


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## rktrump (Jan 18, 2013)

I was BF as were my 3 bros. It made me adamant about breastfeeding and a bit shocked to find so many people (e.g., sisters-in-law) who don't do it (though we're not close enough that I ever discussed it with them, so have no idea why they went the formula route).

My mom is deceased and my Dad seems to feel a bit awkward when BFing comes up in conversation (we're in different cities, so the in-person stuff doesn't really apply). He said the other day: Of course you'll wean by the time he's two. I told my Dad I probably will, since my 11 month old seems to be headed in that direction anyway, but No, there's really no reason I'd 'of course' do so.

I, personally, would feel awkward BFing in public, so I always try to find a private place for it. The only time I've done it publicly (other than in front of hubby, of course) was on an airplane and I covered up with a blanket.


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## Midwesterner04 (Nov 19, 2009)

I was formula and glucose water (apparently because I was under a certain weight at birth) fed. My mother had to work full time from the beginning and the hand pump she was given at the hospital didn't really cut it. She is very pro-bf now, and doesn't mind that my 3 year old nurses, but we had a significant falling out over AP. I was raised to have immediate first time obedience through the "withdrawal of love" technique, and I do not apply that approach in my own family. We disagree over whether fear is an essential life skill and whether parents need to emotionally manipulate to be in charge. So it is a little tricky.


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## Dela (Jul 8, 2013)

None of us were breastfed more than a week or two I don't think.


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## Dela (Jul 8, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Midwesterner04*
> 
> I was formula and glucose water (apparently because I was under a certain weight at birth) fed. My mother had to work full time from the beginning and the hand pump she was given at the hospital didn't really cut it. She is very pro-bf now, and doesn't mind that my 3 year old nurses, but we had a significant falling out over AP. I was raised to have immediate first time obedience through the "withdrawal of love" technique, and I do not apply that approach in my own family. We disagree over whether fear is an essential life skill and whether parents need to emotionally manipulate to be in charge. So it is a little tricky.


This is how my parents and I are. They took it as a personal offense that we chose wildly different methods than they did. Most of my siblings did too, and they all have great kids. The one that didn't took my parents' methods to a new extreme and well, that's why she doesn't have her kids any more. We (my siblings and myself) were TERRIBLE kids and teenagers so I'm not sure why they're still insistent that that approach works, but pride is a big thing I guess.


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## skycheattraffic (Apr 16, 2012)

I was formula fed. My mom nursed my older brother foe a couple of weeks, got mastitis and was told she had to wean and that was it. She's supportive of me BFing and tells me how proud she is of me all the time. I think if she had better support she probably would have nursed us both to 6-12 months at least. Regardless of BFing, we were raised in an AP friendly way. Yes we slept in cribs but no we weren't left to cry. We were raised with pretty gentle discipline too and have a pretty healthy family dynamic.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Breastfed, and so was my mom, and grandmother too.They had a family practice doctor who thought formula was stupid and anti-Christian. The only baby in my extended family who had any formula was adopted and everyone tells horror stories of what it did to his digestive system. My mom worked full time from 4 months and apparently I reverse cycled when she was home and was fed bits of solids and water while she was gone. Lots of positive support.

My MIL used to say that DH was breastfed "but I always carried a bottle of formula with me" and "I stopped as soon as I was pregnant again" and "we always had a night nurse" so realistically it was about half-time, six months. Now that DH is a huge bf-supporter and we have kids who CLW, she never, ever mentions the details and just said he was breastfed of course. She is of course still obsessed when they wean and hates co-sleeping and anything AP.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

I was breastfed for a few months. My mom had to go back to work and then switched to bottles.


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## Jennyanydots (Sep 8, 2011)

I was breastfed till age 3, then my brother was born and my mom desperately tried to wean me but wound up reluctantly tandem nursing for a while. In retrospect, I wonder if I felt some jealousy at the time and if that contributed to the awful rivalry between my brother and me.

My parents are very pro bf, and it was just sort of expected that I would bf my kids, but we never talked about it much. I'd call them passively supportive.

My MIL did not bf DP, and she really regrets it. Her mother came to stay with her after his birth, and commented on her struggles with trying to breastfeed, saying all the women in their family have "sour milk" and that she shouldn't bother trying. Very discouraging.


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

I was my mother's first. She tried to nurse in the hospital after a twilight birth and when she had trouble the nurses told her her nipples were all wrong and she gave up. My sister came along a few years later after an unmedicated Lamaze birth and she never even tried. Many moons later she had her last baby in an unplanned UC. Again, no attempt to put her baby to the breast. I know this, bc I was there. We were all bottle-propped and CIO'ed by 3 months.

I nursed my kids in terms of years, as did my next younger sister. The baby (the UC one) of the family nursed her first for at least a year, maybe a bit longer. I know she initiated with her second, but then she stopped speaking to me so I can only hope she kept it up a good long while and also is currently nursing her third who is not quite a year old yet. None of the three of us bottle-propped (sister #2 and I never used bottles) or ever did CIO.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

My Mom nursed me, not sure for how long though & she doesn't remember. I know from my baby book that she started solids really early ('70's so it was the 'norm' to start at 8 wks or earlier. She's very supportive. I'm sure she privately wonders why I don't wean 'till kindergarten







but she'd never say it.

DH was but I'm pretty sure he got bottles too; she left all her kids with her parents a lot. I know for awhile she donated her milk when she worked in the maternity ward, so I guess she could have kept supply up that way. I have a pic of her nursing DH while driving in the dark ages before carseats.


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## earthmama4 (Oct 13, 2008)

I was breastfed for about 6 weeks. I had terrible colic and my mom was only 17. I am proud of her for doing it at all! They tried formula, goats milk and finally Nutramigen which she said was a miracle. I was a different baby! I probably was reacting to the milk proteins in her milk, but they didn't really advise about that back then...

My sis was BF for 8 months. She didn't have colic. I think our health has been similar. We both have IBS. I have allergies, she has asthma, I was a skinny kid and she was a chubby kid but that kind of switched as adults, lol. Honestly I am in the camp that most of that stuff if genetic anyway.

Subsequent bro and sis were breastfed around a month, then put on formula for fussiness.

As for me and my sister, we both have breastfed our kids around 1-2yrs, all but my last DS anyway. So it didn't impact our view of nursing. We were raising our kids in a different time and responded differently to the challenges is all.


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## JenVose (Jun 17, 2013)

I was FF, but by a mother who was very pro-BF and had planned to BF. My mother comes from a large family (11 kids) and her mother always BF! Most of my aunts have as well, and many of my cousins. But when I was born in 1980 she got bad advice about how she could not BF due to my jaundice and was pretty much heartbroken to be told that she would need to FF. I was also one of those very early solids baby, getting rice cereal under 2 weeks old when I seemed unsatisfied with formula. She BFed both of my brothers for a considerable time (I cannot recall specifics, but as they are only around 19 months apart and the oldest always refused a bottle even though my mother had an oversupply that required her to at least "catch leaks" of over 4 ounces, if not pump to relieve pressure, I think they may have even tandem nursed for a while - I know my mom at least nursed during pregnancy).

My parents have been super supportive of my own BFing.

My MIL also BFed with all three, and has been super-supportive of all of my decisions. DH and his twin brother were a planned natural birth, but she found out around 6 months that she was having twins and they were delivered only a few weeks later, so she had to have a hospital birth for the extra support. Luckily she still insisted on pumping or BFing as it was best for them! Their younger brother was a UC homebirth after seeing the midwife through pregnancy because homebirth was illegal at the time where she was living. So she was a huge advocate and a support when I wanted to birth naturally in a freestanding birth center and was there with me for delivery even though the birth center was almost two hours away. My parents had wanted to be there, but in the end it didn't really work with their schedules. =( I feel like she's been so proud of me because none of my SILs stuck with BFing for more than a few weeks or ever had interest in a natural childbirth (although I understand that at least one, with her pre-eclampsia, had some extenuating circumstances). I think MILs support and experience helped ease my father's concerns about natural childbirth (my mother was always open and supportive, and I think she probably would have been interested in having us naturally except my father's concerns always kept her from it).


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## michelleepotter (Apr 8, 2013)

My mom isn't really the type to talk much about, well anything unless you push her, but I know that I was breastfed (don't know how long). I also know that my younger brother was breastfed until my grandmother sabotaged the nursing relationship. She was apparently not at all supportive of breastfeeding, and when my mom got sick, instead of bringing her the baby to feed, grandma just gave him bottles. I don't know how old he was. I don't know if my youngest brother was breastfed at all, but since he and my mom were really sick when he was born, and since we lived with my grandmother, I doubt it.

I have no idea how my mom feels about me breastfeeding, but I guess that's a good thing, because I suppose I'd only hear about it if she disapproved. I did nurse my 1 year old in public while at the beach with her, and she didn't say anything about it. My grandma (same one) expressed horror that I was going to nurse my first baby (who was a newborn at the time) _in front of my grandfather_ (gasp!), but he didn't care, and frankly neither did I. She's never said anything about it since then.

My MIL breastfed all of her kids, AFAIK, and she was a LLL leader in the 70s, so obviously she's very supportive. She also fought to have natural births in the 70s, and was a pioneer homeschooler in the 80s. My FIL recently posted on Facebook, in a thread about NIP, "if it bothers you, look away." He also told me recently that he's proud of me for not caring what other people (ie, my family) think about me having so many kids.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I was formula fed. My mom was going back to work, and I guess I was the typical, formula-fed, full-time daycare baby, but my mom is great and this has never been an issue. She was super supportive of me breast feeding, because that was what I wanted, but would have been in favor of any feeding method that worked for us.


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## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

I was breastfed 6 weeks until mom went back to work and claims she had "issues" nursing, and never even attempted with my sister. I used to joke that she loved me more so I got the boob lol. I was a SUPER colicky/fussy baby, and cried non-stop. There are pictures of my parents holding me passed out bc I would cry and they had no idea how to soothe me and would fall asleep to me crying. I've recently learned I have dairy issues, go figure. DH was breastfed 2 weeks, started on cereal at the 2nd week "because he was hungry" and MIL got mastitis and stopped. I'm told she wasn't able to care for him and her mother took over for several weeks. He's got major gluten/wheat and in general digestive issues no doubt from the early cereal. My mother was, and still is somewhat awkward about me nursing and always insists I cover up, and will occasionally ask when I'm stopping, or worse, when DD asks for "booby time" my mother will tell her no and try and distract her. I've had words with her a few times about that and just to prove a point I take DD and have her chanting "booby TIME" as I walk away to nurse. MIL has asked but def was more interested in me breastfeeding, I think she felt bad that she didn't stick with it.

At this point, supportive or not, I don't need their approval to know I'm sticking out until DD decides to wean herself.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I've seen the breast pump my mom used thirty mumble years ago, and I have to say, if I were going back to the office, getting enough milk for my baby with that thing would be a gigantic issue!

I feel like this thread is really hard on poster's moms.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MeepyCat*
> 
> I've seen the breast pump my mom used thirty mumble years ago, and I have to say, if I were going back to the office, getting enough milk for my baby with that thing would be a gigantic issue!
> 
> *I feel like this thread is really hard on poster's moms.*


Yes. I suspect that, at the root, this may have more to do with the big picture of the relationship than it does anything to do with breastfeeding/not breastfeeding.


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## michelleepotter (Apr 8, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cyclamen*
> 
> Yes. I suspect that, at the root, this may have more to do with the big picture of the relationship than it does anything to do with breastfeeding/not breastfeeding.


Well, I can only speak for myself, but the difficulties I have with my mother and grandmother have nothing to do with whether I was breastfed.


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

Homemade goat's milk formula... She tried to bf but was told she didn't make enough milk and I could not tolerate canned formula. She went on to bf my little sister for a year.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *michelleepotter*
> 
> Well, I can only speak for myself, but the difficulties I have with my mother and grandmother have nothing to do with whether I was breastfed.


Oh, me too.

I am not sure if I phrased what I meant correctly. You know how sometimes if two people have a difficult relationship but one person doesn't have the vocabulary to say, "This person disrespects me," they might focus on something like, "He never picks his socks up"? So there is a long discussion about the socks never being picked up, but the problem is really that he doesn't listen, or yells when you ask him to pick his socks up or whatever. I was responding to Meepycat's statement that there was some harshness directed toward poster's moms. I think if overall you have a positive relationship with you mom, you probably aren't going to resent her for not breastfeeding you. But if your mom has mistreated you in other ways, suddenly the fact that she didn't breastfeed you is just more grist for the mill. Or you might not resent her for not breastfeeding but still resent her for something else. Etc.

edit - resent is a harsh word. Maybe feel sad is what I mean?


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

I always assumed I was breastfed for a long time, but then recently I was talking to my mom and she said I was only breastfed for a month tops. It caught me by surprise and I shouted, "WHAT??!!" My poor mother started getting really defensive, saying what a different time it was. It was a very different time. I hate that I reacted like that!

I think, though, that my reaction had more to do with the feelings I have over my mom letting my dad care for me as a baby and small child while she worked. I love my dad (he has passed) but I don't for the life of me understand how a mother could leave their child with someone like him. He handled things by trying to control, and as we all know, babies cannot be controlled. He could be violent at times. So, I think that reaction came from the general abandonment I feel all these years later.


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Dalia - I'm sorry, that sounds like it must have been hard on you.


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cyclamen*
> 
> Dalia - I'm sorry, that sounds like it must have been hard on you.


Thanks.  I am really close with my mom and we both have changed A LOT. I'm all about redemption.

What is tough for me is sometimes she's just telling me something and I take it as a criticism and get really aggravated. Thank goodness she is a tolerant person. But in my mind I am screaming, "You think I should do such and such differently but you left me with HIM???? AND you didn't breastfeed me long enough????"

Yeah, I got issues. :-/


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dalia*
> 
> Thanks.  I am really close with my mom and we both have changed A LOT. I'm all about redemption.
> 
> ...


:lol I have sooo done the same thing.

When I got pregnant with my oldest, I'd been with her father for over a year and we had a pretty good relationship. I was in my mid-20s, very responsible and independent. But because we weren't married, my mom freaked out and told me I should leave him and have an abortion because he was a scumbag. He totally isn't. My dad, on the other hand, is a total scumbag. There was a lot of projecting going on there. I flipped out and was like, "OMG YOU SHOULD TALK!! LOOK AT WHO YOU MARRIED!!!"

Families.


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## greenkri (Jun 10, 2013)

I think the "it was a very different time" is really valid in this discussion. My mom said that she started to breastfeed me, and even made it long enough to get back to work. She tried to pump her one break per day during lunch time as a teacher, in the bathroom. Obviously that doesn't really work. Apparently I also had digestive issues and was really fussy with breastmilk. She mentioned green/yellow poop as if it was normal and it's unfortunate there wasn't enough education back then. She eventually tried formula with me which didn't sit well at all either. In the end she fed me cow's milk and my digestive issues went away. Obviously not something we would recommend today, but I commend her for her ingenuity in a time where resources about breastfeeding were fewer and far between.

She's quite supportive of my breastfeeding, but she's been very supportive and generally non-judgemental about my parenting choices overall. I think we're discussing two issues here: What our Mothers did and how they were influenced by those around them and the general knowledge of the time, and then our relationships with them and how they respond to OUR choices today.

My Mom's Mom breastfed all 4 of her children, and remembers that time fondly. She also gave birth in an era when you were knocked out during labor, the doctor delivered the baby, and sent you home when it was done. Kinda strange paradox.

I think most people in my life don't make comments about when I should wean or "Haven't you been nursing long enough?" because they know that I'll do what I want so they might as well keep it to themselves. However I do remember a family member once commenting on another family member (long ago) having nursed a cousin for up to 3 years as if it was just too much. At the time that sounded extreme to me too, but I've learned and seen a lot since then.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Yes, I was and so were all my siblings. I do think that was a product of the times...and my parents being hippies. My DH was not (again, a product of the time/sub-culture difference) but my MIL was/is very supportive of BFing.

I think it can be very hard on parents when they realize some choice they made is no longer endorsed, which is a shame because I'm sure it's gonna happen to all of us.


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *IdentityCrisisMama*
> 
> I think it can be very hard on parents when they realize some choice they made is no longer endorsed, which is a shame because I'm sure it's gonna happen to all of us.


Tangent:

I've been decorating my sewing room and I'm using very trendy colors: mustard yellow, aqua, grey, pink, etc. The other day I looked around and said to myself, "One day fairly soon this will be as outdated as avocado green and burnt orange." I then called up my mom and apologized for always making fun of her in pictures from the eighties. I now realize that one day all my choices will be considered archaic and obsolete.


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lazurii*
> 
> Tangent:
> 
> I've been decorating my sewing room and I'm using very trendy colors: mustard yellow, aqua, grey, pink, etc. The other day I looked around and said to myself, "One day fairly soon this will be as outdated as avocado green and burnt orange." I then called up my mom and apologized for always making fun of her in pictures from the eighties. I now realize that one day all my choices will be considered archaic and obsolete.


I'm sorry, what's wrong with avocado green and burnt orange? *walks across barf-colored shag carpet to velour "turkey print" couch*


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lazurii*
> 
> I now realize that one day all my choices will be considered archaic and obsolete.










I have two kids "only" ten years apart and there were differences in the BFing recommendations between my kids. Not to mention all the new gadgets!


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## LorienIslay (Oct 21, 2012)

I was formula fed, but my mum wanted to breastfeed. She was told by the doctor at my two-week checkup that I wasn't gaining fast enough and to go to formula, and she did so. When my sister was born, ten years later, she nursed her for two years! She is incredibly supportive of my breastfeeding my children, and didn't even bat an eye (to me anyway) when he nursed until four...


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## lilblueberry (Jan 18, 2012)

Exclusively bf till 2.5


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

Really? No solids for that long?


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## ultrafighter (Feb 13, 2013)

This conversation got me curious, so I just texted my mom to ask. She said yes indeed for about 6-8 months! woot!!

Then she asked me about our vax plans.... I wasn't prepared to go in this direction. lol


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## dalia (Sep 3, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ultrafighter*
> 
> This conversation got me curious, so I just texted my mom to ask. She said yes indeed for about 6-8 months! woot!!
> 
> Then she asked me about our vax plans.... I wasn't prepared to go in this direction. lol


LOL... Are we EVER prepared when it comes to moms???


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## ultrafighter (Feb 13, 2013)

haha True. Fortunately, I gave my answer and then she went right back into our BF conversation. She moved me straight from breast to cow's milk, no formula ever. I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty certain she did something similar for my younger bro and sis. I appreciate her.







She also had all 3 of us naturally in a hospital when I don't think it was the "thing to do".


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## pattimomma (Jul 17, 2009)

I was breastfed for a year and my mom and I are like oil and water. She says I was difficult to get along with even as a baby. She had to hold me to keep me asleep BUT I never liked hugs or cuddles. Sounds a little contradictory but I serious don't remember ever hugging my mom. Two of my kids have sensory processing disorder and I probably did/do too. I breastfed all my kids and she had no opinion about that. She is totally freaked out by homebirth and the number of kids (6) I have.

My grandmother (had three kids), great-grandmother (had four kids) and great-great-grandmother (had 13 kids) all breastfed.


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## lilblueberry (Jan 18, 2012)

Meepycat- Haha! I realize what I left out. I posted while being climbed on and tried to make it fast....I was ebf, never had formula, and weened at 2.5. Solids started at 6 mos. thank you for helping me clarify!


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## mandak78 (Aug 10, 2012)

My mom breastfed us both. My sister for 9-10 months (when she self weaned, probably due to too much food and cow's milk), and me for about 2 yrs, when mom decided it was time to be done.

It has definitely made a difference in the way I parent my own kids. It's normal (and kind of expected) for the women in my family to nurse. I bf my son for 27 months, and our daughter has a good start at just 3 months. Nobody on my mom's side of the family has ever questioned our choices.

I guess this has made our relationship better, at least since I've become a mom because we've got more in common now. Those years between 12 and 23 (when I married) were kinda hit and miss though.


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## writinglove (May 5, 2011)

I was breastfed for 6 months, and have always felt very supported by my mom. She had a little bit of a hippie streak in her I am proud of her for defying the 70s norms.

My MIL was told by the doctor that she didn't have enough cream in her breast milk to breastfeed. I still get angry at that doctor when I think about that ridiculous diagnosis.


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## ShyingViolet (Oct 23, 2011)

My momma breastfed me until I was 2.


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## Soul-O (Mar 14, 2004)

I was exclusively breastfed until my mom returned to work and I went to full time daycare. I was six weeks old at the time. My mom attempted to pump and/or hand-express while at work, and nurse me at home for several months thereafter, but I still ended up on a mix of cow's milk and formula by the time I was six months old. I applaud my mom for trying her best to keep the milk flowing, but full time work plus bad pumping options meant that it was inevitable that nursing would end for us. My mom was a SAHM when my older brother was a baby, so he nursed to 18 months. My mom's nursing experience came in handy when I had my first DS. She was very helpful in getting him to latch properly and made sure I understood what I was supposed to see and feel when he was nursing. She's been very supportive through all of my pregnancy and nursing experiences.


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## summatime (Jan 17, 2011)

I was born in 1976 by a cesarean due to being breech, and breast fed for a few months and then my mom switched me to formula. I was lucky that she produced a ton of milk and didn't have any issues with nursing. She just believed what she was told and switched me to formula before the 6 month mark. Unfortunately, she didn't have an easy time with my younger sister, who was also born by cesarean and was kept at the hospital for 5 days because she was jaundiced. They had a hard time bonding and nursing, so my sister didn't receive as much mama milk as I did and was switched to formula almost immediately.

With all of that being said, neither my sister and I have ever had any allergies or digestive issues. We have both always been healthy and strong. Whatever our mama was doing while we were in utero worked out very well for us.

Our mom did the best that she knew how, and it worked out well for us.


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## mandak78 (Aug 10, 2012)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *writinglove*
> 
> My MIL was told by the doctor that she didn't have enough cream in her breast milk to breastfeed. I still get angry at that doctor when I think about that ridiculous diagnosis.


Heck, I know a woman who was told this just last year! Makes me so mad! Her baby wasn't gaining and wanted to nurse too often, so the Dr told her it must be that she didnt have enough milk fat. Never mind that she put the poor kid on a 4 hour schedule almost immediately... :/ I tried to share some internet resources, but she didn't feel it was reliable info.


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## writinglove (May 5, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mandak78*
> 
> Heck, I know a woman who was told this just last year! Makes me so mad! Her baby wasn't gaining and wanted to nurse too often, so the Dr told her it must be that she didnt have enough milk fat. Never mind that she put the poor kid on a 4 hour schedule almost immediately... :/ I tried to share some internet resources, but she didn't feel it was reliable info.


Gah! It's still happening. Sad.


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## ian'smommaya (Jun 7, 2004)

Breast feed! My mom was photographed nursing me for the cover of a LLL booklet!


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## Piskito (Jul 30, 2013)

Me and my sister only nursed for about 2-3 weeks, and then my mom says her milk ran out. I believe she didn't have any support or information. I breastfed both my kids (my daughter still nurses at 19 months) and she has been very supportive, but still has a lot of wrong beliefs about breastfeeding. She still gets surprised that I have enough milk, she keeps asking me if my milk isn't "getting weak", even after I told her everything about it, even when my kids were really chubby at 4-6 months 

In fact I think it was her belief that breastmilk isn't enough for a baby that made me so surprised when my children developed so well beeing exclusively breastfed. I was more influenced by her ideas than what I though


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## sillymom44 (Jul 30, 2011)

My sister and I were both BF. My mom would be horrified if I FF or if I covered up to nurse. I'm lucky in that respect, but she is also a very outspoken opinionated person that can be hard to get along with...so don't be jealous!!


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## winter singer (Feb 12, 2009)

I was born in 1971 and exclusively FF, with solids introduced at 2 weeks (and yes I have digestive problems now). My mother tried BFing my oldest brother for 2 weeks and found it exhausting, and when my middle brother was born she says she took one look at him (he was 10 pounds 6 ounces) and thought "no way am I feeding this baby". I'm sure she was influenced by her family, and lacking in good professional advice too.

For a long time she was adamant that there was no real difference between BF and FF in terms of the baby's health. I never tried to argue with her about it but just always planned to BF (based on what I'd read). Luckily BFing worked out well for me and dd.

However my mother seemed uncomfortable when I nursed dd and told me that after dd was 6 months old, the milk "would just go right through her" , ie it would provide no nutritional benefit. She's come round about that since (mainly because of a newspaper article she happened to read) but she does still maintain that there's a lot of 'bullying' that goes on with regard to breastfeeding - for example, a cousin of mine was very stressed because of difficulties she was having with nursing her baby, and my mother interpreted this as being due to harassment from nurses who told her that BFing is the only option.

I sometimes feel a bit sad that we have such different takes on BF and that the basic satisfaction I get from nursing DD is something she's never experienced or understood. But as other posters have pointed out, that really ties in with to my overall relationship with her rather than just being a BF issue. She's a much more schedule-oriented person that I am generally, which probably goes some way to explain our differences wrt BF.


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## aurora_skys (Apr 1, 2008)

My mom nursed her first child for a year and a half. Her mother harassed her incessantly about "nursing the kid until she's old enough for college!" You know, same stuff some of us hear today. Mom didn't get much support at all except from my dad who believes that sort of thing is women's business. She nursed her second child for a little over a year. She nursed me less than nine months, stuffing solids into me as soon as she could. She also left us in cribs to cry and kept us in "playpens" a lot, even though she was a stay at home mom.

I don't have a good relationship with her, I can't really trust her and I attribute that to our whole lifetime together, not the early weaning. I wonder how different we would feel about each other if she had just picked me up when I was crying...

Anyways, I have weird issues with foods, particularly textural issues and I never thought much of it until a lactation consultant friend asked if I was weaned early. My mom wasn't intentionally harmful but I also know that she could have made much better choices for me, she's college educated and had plenty of experience nursing babies, no physical or mental problems, I do think she could have nursed me longer. She just decided to cut me short, no matter if it was best for me or not. I do feel some resentment for that. She does not, however, hassle me about my nursing choices.

My mother in law constantly tries to shove me into other rooms to nurse and actually becomes *jealous* (like how you would be jealous of another woman in your man's love life or something) if I nurse around her husband. It's *really* weird. At a church function she kept literally pushing me into a backroom when I said I needed to nurse. I went and found my husband and sat right next to him, she wouldn't dare say a thing to me near him. But I could hear her gossiping with the bishop's wife about how inappropriate I was with my sleeveless shirt and my baby-feeding ways. UGH.

It makes my mom and MIL insecure that I make very different parenting choices than them, I think they interpret it as a middle finger to them instead of just another person exercising their free will to parent how they please. It's very annoying. They also care nothing about what scientific research says on these matters, also annoying. My dad has been a surprisingly good advocate for me, my child-free sister too, she's even an intactivist lol!


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## ecoberry1 (Jul 17, 2013)

Breastfed! But, my mom says that once I could drink from a cup she figured I didn't need to nurse anymore (this was sometime in 1973 or '74.) My son is going to be 3 in less than a month and he still loves the boobie!


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

I was formula fed. I do have some autoimmune issues, but who knows if that's related. Some of it runs in my dad's side of the family. I'm the youngest and am 6.5 yrs younger than my nearest sibling. My mom told me that she asked the doctor if it would be okay if she didn't nurse me because she didn't feel up to it. This was in 1964. (I'm old!) My older sibs were breastfed some although I don't know how much.

My mom used to talk about how her mom (my grandmother) followed the norm of her day and only fed her babies on a schedule (4 hrs I think) and couldn't stand to hear them cry when it wasn't time for them to nurse, but she stuck to the schedule anyway because that's how you did things back then







. Sidenote: my mom was older when she had me so for my grandmother this was way back in the 20s and teens. My mom is 87 now and she was the youngest of 3.

I breastfeed my oldest until she was almost 6. She just really needed it. It wasn't my intention to go that long, but she is a very highly-sensitive, high-needs, tender-hearted, anxious soul. My younger dd nursed until she was just about 4 and it was pretty infrequent at the end there.

My mom was generally supportive of my early nursing and we just didn't do it in front of her when the kids were older. I tandemed, too, and don't recall putting that on display for many people, either.


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## koalaeagle (Aug 13, 2013)

I apparently weaned myself at 6 months although Mom would have preferred I go for a year. She herself was bottle fed as seemed to be a common trend for baby boomers (she said the hippies brought it back in the 60's!) It turned out my first daughter did the same as me- I struggled to get her to 7 months. I pushed and pushed but she just wasn't terribly into it. I'm pregnant now and curious to see if this one any different, as I again hope to get to a year. My MIL was president of her chapter of Nursing Mothers of Australia and breastfed my husband and his sisters for at least a year each. If I ever told her I planned to opt out of nursing for no reason she would probably 'divorce' me


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## Rebecca Andrews (Jul 31, 2013)

My Mom told me that she breastfed me for a couple of months but then, she couldn't. She didn't really offer any explanantion as to why, sort of said that maybe her milk dried up or something...I was put on regular formula and then soy formula because I was allergic to the regular formula.

When I was six my Mom had a baby and again, when I was ten, and I never remember her breastfeeding either of my siblings.

When I was ten, my Dad remarried and when my Stepmom had their first baby, she breastfed and, she breastfed the other two children they had together. She breastfed them without a boppy and without a cover but, I don't think she breastfed them past a year and I never remember her breastfeeding in public.

My Mother was strangely, almost off-puttingly, curious when I breastfed my Son. My Stepmom was and has always been supportive and it's thanks to my Stepmom that I even knew breastfeeding was possible and normal.

My Mom grew up without her Mother and she fell in love with a man suffering from addiction and mental disorders and suffered abuse. My Mom tried to be warm and loving but, I don't remember her being physically affectionate or warm when I was a child. There was a lot of self-imposed distance from both of our sides.

My experience from both women, helped me breastfeed and keep going. From my Stepmom, I learned breastfeeding was normal and possible. From my Mom? Breastfeeding was a curiousity but also? A way to be strongly connected to your child. My Mother's lack of experience outlined how important it was for me to breastfeed my own child.


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## flyrabbitfly (Jul 28, 2010)

My mom bf'd our older sister for about a year (?) which was the "advice back then" and breastfed my twin sister and I, against nurses' advice (they said it is "impossible to nurse twins"- ha!) for about 9 months until we "weaned ourselves". I'm pretty sure nobody weans themselves before 1 year, but I'm sure I am proud that she bucked the odds and breastfed us at all. She seems a little embarrassed about believing the advice she was given as far as when to wean, and feeding us on schedules (she is proud of "cheating the schedule"- they doctor told her to feed us every 4 hours but she fed us every 3), but also seems a bit weirded out by full term breastfeeding (my twin's son is 3.5 and mine 3, and our big sis nursed her girls past 2 yo). She doesn't back all our AP, natural-family stuff and will sneak our kids sugar when we're not around, and stick them in front of a TV. She says, in Grandma's house it's Grandma's rules" and if we want to leave our kids with her we accept her rules. And I guess we do.

Even though we were breastfed, we still parent differently and sometimes our parents take it personally as an affront to them.

Possibly your mom has felt wronged by all the "breast-is-best" adverts and is feeling defensive. I guess I would try to let her know that you understand her choices were made in a different time by a different her and that is ok. It must be hard to see you make different choices, esp if she already feels judged by the messaging.


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## Spasbinder (Aug 8, 2013)

I was breastfed but at the time (mid-70s) no-one really did so my mother was made to feel really awkward and weird. When she wanted to feed me in the hospital the nurses drew the curtains round her bed like she was doing something shameful and the other mothers all sat there happily chatting and feeding their babies with little bottles of formula.

She gave up breastfeeding after about 5 months - and they prescribed her anti-lactation meds which then were banned a few years later! I worry about what that might have done to both of us!!

My brother was 8 wks premature but she managed to breastfeed him as well, although gave up after 3 months as he was hard work.

I had no really strong feelings about it all before having a baby, other than thinking it was something I should try as a natural part of having a baby. It worked a charm and I fed my first for 17 months and the second for 15. They were hard work but my mother was really supportive about the whole thing at times when I would have given up (when they got really really demanding around 4 months old!). I think I made her feel good for how she'd done with me but also a little bad that she hadn't done longer - which is crazy. She did amazingly well and I am really proud of her.


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## Spasbinder (Aug 8, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Piskito*
> 
> Me and my sister only nursed for about 2-3 weeks, and then my mom says her milk ran out. I believe she didn't have any support or information. I breastfed both my kids (my daughter still nurses at 19 months) and she has been very supportive, but still has a lot of wrong beliefs about breastfeeding. She still gets surprised that I have enough milk, she keeps asking me if my milk isn't "getting weak", even after I told her everything about it, even when my kids were really chubby at 4-6 months
> 
> In fact I think it was her belief that breastmilk isn't enough for a baby that made me so surprised when my children developed so well beeing exclusively breastfed. I was more influenced by her ideas than what I though


Yes my ma kept assuming my milk would be getting weaker and "not enough" for my babies as they got older, probably because she got told that way back when... My oldest was HUGE by 5 months and was entirely breastfed.







I did lots of reading about how breastmilk continues to develop along with the child, and actually has more antibodies in it as time goes by, etc etc., to keep up with an active baby/toddler.. Still, she switched me straight to cow's milk, not formula, so I'm glad about that at least


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## erigeron (Oct 29, 2010)

My mom breastfed me up until about 6 months, at which point it sounds like I was getting fussy and disinterested like 6-month-olds do, so they gave me some formula, then her supply started dropping because she wasn't nursing as much, then I got less interested, and she ended up thinking that I was weaning myself. She breastfed my sister up until about 4-5 months when they both got sick with a cold and that was the end of it--I'm guessing a supply dip led to the same cycle. My dad said blithely that "most people eventually switch to formula", which made me want to stubborn it out, but they were both fine about breastfeeding. My dad offered me a cover really early on but I rejected the idea and he never made a thing of it again.

My MIL breastfed her first (my husband) up until about 6-7 months at which point she stopped because she was pregnant with middle brother already. She said she honestly doesn't remember how long she nursed the younger two (and since she had 3 boys in 3 1/2 years, over 30 years ago, I can see how some of the details would get a little hazy).

I wonder what the answers to this thread would be like if posted some place that people primarily formula-feed. I wonder if there would be a lot of answers that point to moms having the same physiological issues with breastfeeding that their daughters did.


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## Gracecody (Jul 28, 2006)

I just want to say that this is one of my favorite threads ever. Thank you so much for sharing your stories.









On the topic, I don't have a lot to share myself. My mom formula fed all three of us. I am not sure why but she never even tried to breastfeed. Her babies were born in 1968, 1974, 1981. I have nursed my first two to three years (with the original goal if making it a year) and my youngest is now 22 mos. She pretty much leaves me alone now but with my first she would make comments that he was too big to be nursing when he was over a year old. She didn't know I tandem nursed for 9 mos and nursed them to age 3....sometimes it's a good thing we see each other so infrequently as she judges very harshly and it would only hurt our relationship.


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## LaughingHyena (May 4, 2004)

As far as I know I was breastfed for a couple of months before switching to formula, I've never actually asked.

Baby number 3 my mum was told was not gaining enough and so she couldn't be making enough milk so was moved to formula at only a few weeks. Mum was pretty unhappy with the situation and was more determined than ever to breastfeed and with the support of her local LLL group fed the last 3 of my siblings till they weaned themselves, despite quite a few issues. While there are pictures of my feeding my sister with a bottle the images I remember are the younger siblings being fed where ever we were, or in the sling on the move.

She has been fairly supportive of our feeding (all three sisters having done so) but does comment frequently on how draining she found it. I tend to remind her that having the older 3, 4, or 5 children probably factored into it quite a bit









It was quite funny to see my dad drop back into routine when I first went there with DD, constantly following me round with a large glass of water, as were mum and DH.


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## michelleepotter (Apr 8, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *koalaeagle*
> 
> I apparently weaned myself at 6 months although Mom would have preferred I go for a year. She herself was bottle fed as seemed to be a common trend for baby boomers (she said the hippies brought it back in the 60's!) It turned out my first daughter did the same as me- I struggled to get her to 7 months. I pushed and pushed but she just wasn't terribly into it. I'm pregnant now and curious to see if this one any different, as I again hope to get to a year. My MIL was president of her chapter of Nursing Mothers of Australia and breastfed my husband and his sisters for at least a year each. If I ever told her I planned to opt out of nursing for no reason she would probably 'divorce' me


My 6yo DD did the same thing at 6 months. Some ladies at church were convinced that I "needed" to get a break from my kids and go on an overnight church trip, and I wanted to be social and not rude, so I went. DD had a bottle for two days and one night, and when I came back she absolutely refused to go back to breastfeeding. I was heartbroken, especially because I thought she was going to be my last baby. The rest of my kids nursed close to a year or more.

I should have known better. People are always trying to convince me that having so many kids must be miserable, and I "need" to get away from them and go "do things," when I don't feel that way. I just wanted to make friends and be part of the group so I'd have someone to talk to at church.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

My mom BF'd all her children (5) to 8 months, then switched to formula. MIL also BF'd her kids (4), though I'm unclear on how long. I think to about a year, but I really don't know. My mom has been very supportive of me breastfeeding, up to a point. She is still skeptical to some degree about nursing a child with teeth and/or a child older than her children were when they weaned. (None of us got teeth until after weaning, and, sure enough, my son had no teeth until about 8.5 months.) She occasionally makes comments that indicate she thinks my son (almost 1) is too old to still be breastfeeding, but she mostly accepts the logic that I do not want to give him formula, which he would have to have if he weaned before a year. She says that formula was the awesome, scientific thing back in her day, but she doesn't seem to buy into that concept any more. SIL has mostly formula-fed twins (they were completely weaned around 4 months, and were about half-and-half from 1 month on), and a few different family members have commented on how they perceive the twins as being less healthy due to that, and how they think my baby is healthier. (These are comments to me, not to SIL's face.) I'm not sure how reactions will continue to evolve as I continue to BF my son. Most family members are sort of agnostic on the issue, at least to my face. And that works fine for me!

*ETA*: I should also say that I grew up thinking breastfeeding was a totally normal way to feed babies, and what everyone/nearly everyone did for some amount of time. There has never been any doubt in my mind that I would breastfeed my children, although how long I thought I would continue BFing has certainly evolved over time.


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## GISDiva (Jul 13, 2007)

It's not something we ever talk about, but just from random comments, I'm pretty sure I was formula-fed from the start (and I assume my sister was too, although I really don't know that for sure at all - she was a 60's baby, me a 70's baby). My mom doesn't strike me as someone who would have time for all that nursing, she was out milking cows again 3 days post-partum while I slept in my baby carriage in the milking parlor with the pumps lulling me to sleep. Is it at all ironic that I had to end up EP'ing my son? I felt like I was back in the dairy barn.







I can laugh about it now, five years later...most days...

Anyway. She made some comments about how breastmilk is so much better while I was EP'ing, I think she was quietly impressed with the time commitment I was making, although she never would have said it directly. And a lot of "things sure were different back then" comments, which we've noted several times in this thread.

Don't know about my husband, I can only assume he was also formula fed as was the fashion, but I don't know that for sure.


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## bohemianmama21 (Jan 13, 2013)

My sister and i were both breastfed (me until 1, her until 3). My mother is extremely pro-breastfeeding as both her and her sister were formula fed. I'm actually in the opposite boat of the OP. i have to switch to formula and my mother is acting like im being selfish and trying to hurt my son. I love nursing and my son has been amazing for the past 9 months. However, I have rather aggressive thyroid cancer and MUST have radioactive iodine treatment or risk endangering my life, so my son has to switch to formula (donor milk creeps out my husband). Im thankful i at least had 9-10 months of solid nursing.
keep your head up, OP! You are doing great. If your mother isnt supportive, thats on her. has nothing to do with you! find a le leche league in your area if you feel like you need additional support. Best of luck to you!!!! (and i get the messes up mother/daughter relationship.... my mother has narcissistic personality disorder. it sucks)


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## PacificMar (Jul 24, 2012)

I was born in 1970, and my parents were iconoclasts in many ways: Mom had an unmedicated childbirth for both my brother and me, and she breastfed each of us for about two years. Because my brother was born a year and a half after me, we were even tandem-fed for six months! She was a college professor and pumped milk once she returned to work; years later, my brother and I were cleaning stuff out of the bathroom and came across her funky old bike-horn breast pump, which cracked us up. My husband was also breastfed and, because he came from a large family, he grew up around his aunts and cousins breastfeeding. As far as I know, we both come from an unbroken line of breastfeeding mothers, which is neat! Our younger daughter is eight and a half months old and although she's exploring solids happily, she prefers her buddy the breast.

Our older daughter's birth mother didn't breastfeed her; she told Kathryn that she "turned up her nose" at the offer of the breast. I have a feeling she was just groggy with the anesthesia, and the birth mother also has psychiatric problems that probably caused her to believe that this tired, overwhelmed baby was rejecting her.


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## CI Mama (Apr 8, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *bohemianmama21*
> 
> My sister and i were both breastfed (me until 1, her until 3). My mother is extremely pro-breastfeeding as both her and her sister were formula fed. I'm actually in the opposite boat of the OP. i have to switch to formula and *my mother is acting like im being selfish and trying to hurt my son.* I love nursing and my son has been amazing for the past 9 months. However, I have rather aggressive thyroid cancer and MUST have radioactive iodine treatment or risk endangering my life, so my son has to switch to formula (donor milk creeps out my husband). Im thankful i at least had 9-10 months of solid nursing.
> keep your head up, OP! You are doing great. If your mother isnt supportive, thats on her. has nothing to do with you! find a le leche league in your area if you feel like you need additional support. Best of luck to you!!!! (and i get the messes up mother/daughter relationship.... my mother has narcissistic personality disorder. it sucks)


I am sorry that you have to deal with this, especially given that you're dealing with an aggressive cancer! I consider prioritizing your health to be a prudent and unselfish move (speaking as one who lost a mother to cancer).

As for me, I was formula fed, which is understandable since I am an adoptee (born in 1970). My mother did go on to give birth to my two sisters after adopting me & my brother. I know that she breastfed my first sister, and loved doing it...she wrote a very sweet letter for my sister's baby book about how much she loved breastfeeding. I think she was told to stop breastfeeding when my sister started solids, which is too bad. I'm sure she would have happily nursed my sister into toddlerhood if she'd had better information. As for my youngest sister, I'm not sure. That sister spent weeks in the NICU right after she was born, and my guess is that prevented breastfeeding. At any rate, I have no memories of my mother nursing my youngest sister.

I was very committed to breastfeeding my DD, and managed to do so for 33 months, despite a very rough beginning. But I have to say, I didn't love it most of the time, perhaps because I was so incredibly exhausted for the first 2.5 years of her life. Also, my breasts grew to be enormous while I was nursing, and I don't really love having enormous breasts. I was hoping they would shrink when I was done, but 2 years after DD weaned, they are as huge as ever.


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## LittleCapucine (May 16, 2012)

Interesting how most posts are about being formula fed here!

I was nursed until I was four. And born at home! Whatever other grievous flaws my mom has, I give her full respect for birthing, nursing, and dodging Western medicine the way she did, in defiance of norms. I am grateful, she was leading what we're all living now (hopefully)!


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## revolting (Sep 10, 2010)

I was formula fed. I was a twin born via c-section, and my mother knew she'd return back to work a month after she had us. She did nurse my younger brother for a few weeks. She felt very uncomfortable with breastfeeding. I lived with her for part of my eldest child's infancy, and she only allowed me to nurse in my bedroom in her home.


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## missbrea (Sep 2, 2012)

My mother nursed all four of her children for at least two years, starting with me in 85. Apparently the nurses tried to insist on an every 4 hours feeding schedule for me (and I also had jaundice and was paralyzed on my left side for the first few days of my life), but once she brought me home she realized that must be for formula fed babies because it was making me unhappy, so she fed me on demand thereafter. She also co-slept with all of us and wore us (though I think the available options at that time were not great) and basically did all the AP stuff before she knew it had a name. She said she just went by her instincts. I believe her mother did something similar back in the 60s even. My mother even tried to cloth diaper me, but apparently the diapers available at that time were awful. I feel very lucky to have had the upbringing I did and pretty much have always expected to do the same thing with my own children.


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## Emily A (Aug 12, 2013)

Mom tried BFing me (1987), but the hospital nursery gave me bottles of formula without her knowledge and she couldn't keep up with how much I wanted to eat when we got home. She gave up after a week. She tried again with my middle brother (1989), but his reflux was so horrible the ped told her to switch to formula with rice in the bottles. She didn't even try with our youngest brother (1994). She's VERY supportive of me BFing DS, and said she was "awesomefied" that I stuck it out through 6 weeks of continuous plugged ducts and horrible latch due to lip tie.


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

My brother was formula fed and I was born four years later and breast fed until I was 'walking and talking' as my mother says. She is unsure but she thinks it was at least 14 months. This was very early 70's.


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## Catholic Mama (Nov 7, 2006)

I was formula fed and very blessed in that my mother breastfed my two younger brothers for a while until she switched to formula when she started teaching again. I breastfed my firstborn, and was unable to do that for the others because the medication I had to take wouldn't allow it. She helped when she could when she visited. Now I live closer to my mother-in-law and if and when God ever gives us a fifth child, I will definitely try to breastfeed again - not just because my mother-in-law breastfed all of her children, but also because it is so much easier than sanitizing bottles and heating formula!!


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## craftymcgluestick (Dec 31, 2009)

I am the youngest of five kids and we were all breastfed- all until age 1+ and me until I was just under 3 years old. My mom was an LLL leader in the 70s and as she worked as a labor and delivery nurse, would go get in the hospital beds with new moms and help them breastfeed during the pro-formula 60s, 70s, and 80s. I remember vividly women stopping my mom at the grocery store or elsewhere in public throughout my childhood to thank her for her support in helping them breastfeed or birth naturally (she was also a Lamaze instructor). I was always so proud of her! My grandmother also breastfed over age 1 with 4 kids born between 1927-1942, so she was a "rebel," too. I always knew I would breastfeed and I have enjoyed wonderful support from my mom when I was tired, sore, had plugged ducts, etc. She has been a wonderful support in general. I nursed DS to 27 months when my milk dried up in pregnancy from nausea meds, but we were pretty close to weaning the and DS has not expressed any interest in tandem with sister, who is 2.5 weeks old.

My MIL formula-fed both DH and his sister from birth. In fact, she took some type of meds or a shot to dry up her milk? (This baffles and horrifies me.) Her own mother was a total narcissist (still is) who never offered her any support and her husband (my FIL) was certainly worthless when it came to support. I think she was a little taken aback that I wanted to breastfeed into toddlerhood, but she's always been very kind and supportive- no shaming or ugly comments and telling me how much she admires me, which I really appreciate.

Like others have said, I have a wonderful relationship with my mom who never really punished and was so loving and nurturing (even though my dad was the polar opposite, abusive, etc) and I naturally attribute a lot of our great relationship to the loving start we had with a close, extended breastfeeding relationship.


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## MissAnthrope (Jan 31, 2011)

I was breastfed, but weaned earlier than either of us was ready for due to a biting problem (I think I was about 18mo-- so this would have been 1988). My mother often says she wishes she'd stuck it out with me-- both of my younger siblings nursed until they were ready to stop around age 3, as have all of my babies so far. She was very sympathetic when my preemie needed a nipple shield to latch at first and my third latched so shallowly for the first several weeks that I had nearly-constant milk blisters.

My parents were on the same track I'm on, but we are much farther down the path than they ever were-- they circumcised my brothers, they cut our hair before we were capable of consenting, they spoon-fed their babies, they used prefolds through a diaper service, they dressed their kids in articles of clothing that matched their sex (no dresses for male-bodied people), etc., while I am way out in fringe land where children have bodily autonomy, I make flat diapers and wash them by hand, and my children wear whatever they want to wear from a pool of practical but not gendered choices. Oddly, though, none of that stuff is where we clash with them.

We clash with my parents mostly over language stuff with our toddlers-- we don't do "baby talk", so I recently had to remind my mother not to talk to my children about having "owies"; we are trying to keep sex and gender distinct, so it was a big problem when my mother told my 3yo that she has breasts because she's a mommy and a girl; we don't coach our little ones to make emotional statements, so my parents need frequent reminders that they should not instruct them to say sorry, thank you, etc.

But my mother and I get along very well. When I had my first child, I had to police my boundaries very actively when it came to sharing health information and stuff, but since then it's been pretty smooth, and I certainly feel that she knows they're my kids and it's my rules, and usually it's easy and relatively stress-free to ask her to change the way she does things with/around them. Our biggest issue is that I don't like to ask for help when I need it!


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## sageowl (Nov 16, 2010)

According to my mother, I was breastfed, at least for 6 months. My brother got cut off a bit earlier as he was a notorious biter. Has it affected my breastfeeding experience?  No, not really, except I think it's kind of cool that she did, given that her life wasn't the easiest, and it wasn't terribly common for women of her time/place. (She also was somewhat of a natural birth pioneer at the military hospital!)

Fortunately everyone in my life has been supportive of my breastfeeding my own kids--and the struggles I had to go through.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

I think it's interesting that many people's mothers went against the grain with breastfeeding, natural birth, etc. My mother has never given me the impression that she thought she was doing anything the slightest bit counter-culture with her unmedicated births and her breastfeeding. I know for a fact that her mother also breastfed, though I don't know for how long, and I believe my father's mother did, too. I think it was just the norm in Utah, because formula is just too expensive when you have 5+ kids!


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## Debbie S (Mar 10, 2012)

My mom and I have had a pretty rocky relationship but natural childbirth and breastfeeding has thankfully brought us closer than ever before. She nursed me until I was 2 and that knowledge has comforted me as I've nursed almost-2-year-olds and sometimes gotten negative or awkward comments. She's also been a great resource when I run into problems. On the other hand, my mother-in-law bottlefed both of her children and although she's never given me negative comments it took me alot longer to feel comfortable nursing in front of them. I'm sorry it can't be a relationship building thing, but perhaps seeing the bond you're forming will change her mind.


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## Debbie S (Mar 10, 2012)

Oh, and a quick second comment. My mom's mother did not breastfeed her. She tried with all of her children and it wasn't until she got a German doctor with her last child (my uncle... Her 10th!!!) that she was finally given the support she needed to successfully breastfeed. She died when my uncle was still a child and he cherishes the knowledge that they shared this special bond even though he lost his mom when he was so young. She gave birth with "twilight sleep" for all of them, and I'm certain that caused her as many problems as she had.


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## kellybeth (Jun 14, 2012)

i was breastfed for about 2 months, then was given rice cereal and formula. my mom just thinks that there was no support "back then" as she likes to say, for breastfeeding women, or that only poor women breastfed. which we were, but whatever. my mom now however supports breastfeeding to an extent. i breastfeed my daughter who is 6 months (tomorrow!) and plan on extended breastfeeding unless unforeseen happens. my mother doesn't support breastfeeding over 2 years old, she thinks it's creepy.


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## redheather (Aug 20, 2011)

My mother tried BFing my oldest sibling in the 1960s but couldn't get a latch, and had absolutely no support from the docs (she didn't look for any, either; maybe she didn't know it was out there, plus her mother had already passed). So all 4 of us were formula fed.

After the birth of my DD she was so impressed with how much support my midwife gave me that I think she realized she could have done it, with support. It seemed healing for her, and she totally supported me BFing once she got the information about it.

I've encountered some rude comments that the reason I'm choosing child-led-weaning is because I was formula fed!!!


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## sassyfirechick (Jan 21, 2012)

So I already commented earlier about my mother BF'ing for a few weeks then switching to formula.....well I was at my ND today and she informed me that I have a tongue tie! Took almost 30 years to learn this but it totally explains the issues my mother had and when I called her up to tell her she still has no idea what a tongue tie is


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

My brother & I were FF'd from day one. Mom never tried because she was told she'd FF by the doc, because that was what was done at the time. I was "allergic" to the cow artificial milk they were feeding me so I was switched to soy artificial milk. Mom says I gave up the bottle at 10 months. I'm thinking babies go on bottle strikes too.

She was as supportive as she could be seeing as how she took it personally that I did just about everything differently than she did. She did say sometime between my first two children that she wished she had bf'd as she now knows the value of it. I seriously doubt she would have been successful at it knowing her situation when she had both of us, but who knows.

We no longer have a relationship, not so much because of our choices on a micro level but because we see the world very differently & all those choices are just a part of that. I think the fact that I did bf my children & that is part of what has created the bond I have with them makes her feel bad about her choices (that she does not see as her choices - she takes zero responsibility for most things) & lack of bond w/ her children. But, again, it's just one piece of a really messed up puzzle.

Interesting to read all these replies.

Sus


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

I was breastfed for a few weeks. Solid foods were started at 2 weeks. I consider myself bottle fed. I had 16 cavities the first time I went to the dentist.


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## sarahl918 (Jul 16, 2012)

I was breastfed until 18 mos, then only at night until 21 mos, she only stopped because she was 3 months pregnant with my brother. I started solids at 7-8 mos but wasn't very interested until 1 yr. Lucky to have a Mom that is very pro-BF. She volunteered as a La Leche support person in the early 80s, and was a milk donor. She doesn't live locally but I'm thankful to have her support and advice a phone call away.


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

My mom said that she breastfed me for about 3 months, but my grandma ended up with most of my care and liked to prop the bottle. I'm sure she gave me cereal early too, because she was telling me to make a bottle mixed with cereal around 6 weeks or so to help them sleep through the night.


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