# I've been waiting to m/c naturally for 4 weeks. Still nothing. Now what?



## maryjane (Jul 13, 2004)

I went in at 8 weeks for my first u/s and found out that the baby had no heartbeat and was measuring 7 weeks, 2 days. That was 3 weeks ago. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since the fetus stopped developing and I still haven't miscarried.

I had some extremely faint brown spotting last Friday night and Saturday (so faint that had I not been looking for it, I don't think I would have seen it.) Nothing since them. I'm cramping on and off, but nothing horrible, and it has not progressed in any way since finding out. (I am also getting occasional waves of nausea -- m/s? -- making me wonder what's going on with my hcg.)

I would rather not go back to my OB as I'm certain that he will push me to do a D&C, which I've decided I want to avoid. Are there any natural "remedies"? Accupuncture? Herbs?

Everything I read said 2-4 weeks. How much longer do I wait? At what point (if ever) does it become unsafe to continue waiting?


----------



## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

Is it possible that you're still . . . pregnant? I don't want to give you false hope, but it is possible (esp. if your uterus is retroverted) that they weren't getting a clear view of the baby. Check out http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com for support. This was a very helpful site for me in my last miscarriage.

HUGS! I'm so sorry you're going through this.


----------



## corrio (Jul 11, 2005)

a friend of mine waited 6 weeks to have her baby after finding out he stopped living in inutero..

Hugs
Lisa
3 tiny







and 1 big


----------



## KensJen (Dec 1, 2003)

I am so sorry, mama.

There really is no set time frame, unfortunately. My suggestion is to try acupuncture. I feel that it worked for me, I had red bleeding the day after my appt. Of course, I know it could have happened that day anyway, but I believe the acupuncture helped. If anything, it can help you relax a bit and your body to be more "open" to what is going on. I feel like I was stressed and anxious and my body was reacting to that...once I had the acupuncture, I guess it was the release that I needed, kwim?

It can't hurt and certainly can help, you might as well give it a try. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Waiting just seems to prolong the pain, and is torture. I know, I remember it well. Please give us an update, we're thinking of you.


----------



## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

I'm sorry for your loss.

It can take a long time, but like the PP said, there is no set time frame. I am on the upper end of the extreme (and haven't found anyone else who has waited this long, so keep that in mind). My baby stopped developing right at about 6 wks and my sac continued to grow until 10 weeks. I didn't find out until 13 weeks when we couldn't find the HB and did an ultrasound. I have only spotted a few times along the way and my pregnancy slowly broke down and reabsorbed. I still haven't had AF. Most people will not have to wait as long as I have. I am breastfeeding so that probably has had some influence on the process. I have read that infection is a concern with a missed miscarriage, but I never saw any research on it (not saying it doesn't exist, but I haven't found it yet). They say to watch your temp, for foul odor, or pain. I haven't had any of that, so I'd say it *can* be safe to wait as long as you want. My OB never talked to me about this and surprisingly did not pressure me to have a D&C. She has just watched my HCG level. It dropped quickly at first, but since the beginning of October, it has only dropped about 1 point per week. At my last check, it was 8. I woke up today with strong cramping and the first red spotting I've seen the entire time. I feel very close to the end of all this. I haven't had a problem waiting and felt like it was good for my body to take care of on its own gradually, therefore I didn't search for anything to rush it along. That was right for me since I'm breastfeeding and needed some extra time before #2 anyway.


----------



## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

I am so sorry for you loss.

I found out when I was 12.5 weeks that my baby had died at about 9.5 weeks. There was no hb. I told the NP I wanted to go home and wait and mc at home. My family kept pestering me that if it wasnt happening I was going to get very sick. I felt fine except the pain in my heart. Small amt. of brown spotting that is it. Getting tired of all the unwanted advice, I went back to the office and saw a dr. there. He said I should consider a d&c so I could get on with my life. I asked if there was anything he could gvie me to move things along. He gave me methergine. I was to take 1 tablet 4 times a day for 4 days. I started on Friday afternoon. By Monday morning I was having contractions and mc 5 hours after. I dont know how you feel about taking something like that, but it did help move things along for me.


----------



## punkrawkmama27 (Aug 31, 2007)

Oh, and I had waited about 4 weeks since the baby had died before I did mc. I went in about 3 weeks after finding out, to get the methergine. So it really can take awhile.


----------



## MamaKalena (Jun 17, 2005)

You might try massage if you haven't already. I spotted/bled for two days and miscarried on the third immediately after a previously scheduled neck/shoulder massage. I had hoped the spotting wouldn't lead to miscarriage, but in my heart I knew it was going to since I had a loss of pregnancy symptoms. I think the massage just relaxed my over-anxious body and mind enough to let the miscarriage happen. I'm thankful it happened this way so quickly. I'm so sorry you have had to go through the pain of waiting so long...


----------



## maryjane (Jul 13, 2004)

Thank you all for your kind words and advice.

I had decided over the weekend that I would schedule an appointment with an accupuncturist on Monday and, that if I still hadn't started to m/c by Friday (which would have been 5 weeks past), I would go in for the cytotec.

Somehow making these decisions opened a flood gate and I cried last night for the first time. I've been having a hard time relating to my husband (or rather, having him relate to me) about this, but last night, I laid in his arms sobbing for a good 10 minutes. I even felt some brief connection to the loss of the baby. (I think I'm in denial, or something, b/c as soon as I saw that image on the u/s, I turned off any feeling about the baby. It wasn't intentional -- but since that moment, I haven't really be able to reconnect to that actual loss.) Anyway, not 5 minutes after this meltdown, I started some light spotting. Now, 24 hours later, I am having bleeding like a regular period. Not yet too heavy, and still just uncomfortable in terms of cramping and back pain.

I expect that things will continue to change and develop. But I now, thankfully, feel that my body is letting go. Amazing how it happened on the heals of my emotionally letting go -- even if just for a few minutes.

Thanks again for listening and offering hugs and advice. It's so good to know that I'm not alone. :heart.


----------



## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

I'm so sorry, Mary Jane!


----------



## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

I'm glad your body is starting to take care of it. It's hard to sit in limbo not knowing what is going to happen next.


----------



## prairiemommy (Sep 25, 2003)

to you, mama.


----------



## maryjane (Jul 13, 2004)

I just wanted to update in this post, b/c you have all been so kind to me.

I bled like a heavy period until yesterday, when things took a turn for the worse. I had read enough to know that heavy bleeding was normal, but at some point, the bleeding (and clots of placenta and other tissue) became so massive that I later learned it was technically hemoraging. I blacked out and my husband rushed me to the emergent care center in our town. They gave me fluids (BP was very low, as was hemoglobin) and called in the on-call OB. He did an u/s and said that given the size and amount of retained tissue, I needed an emergency D&C. I was pretty devastated, but scared enough that I didn't argue (too much). I wanted to go by car, but the OB said it had to be by ambulance. Thankfully the hospital staff was very kind and compassionate -- and not too backed up (it was quite late at night by the time I finally got there). I had the D&C around midnight and by all accounts it went well. I have zero pain today (what a relief after basically being "in labor" all day yesterday) and almost no bleeding.

I am mostly feeling okay about things emotionally, although I do have a lot of "did I cop out? Should I have "tried" harder to refuse the D&C? Did I fail myself? Did my body fail me?" moments. I'm prone to that kind of self-recrimination anyway, so I'm just trying to let it go. I definitely don't regret trying it naturally, and I'm glad to have had that experience, even the pain and passing out. It made the emotional loss more real to me, and I think I really needed that.

I had read so many nightmare m/c stories and was determined that I wouldn't have that experience. In the end, I sort of did, but somehow, now that I'm on the other side of it, it doesn't seem as terrible as it once did.

Thanks again everyone for your kindness and support. :heart


----------



## labortrials (Aug 7, 2007)

When you're in the *thick of it*, it is hard to assess the risks/benefits of procedures that are recommended. I hope you can find peace with the decision to have the D/C. I've not *needed* D/C to finish a miscarriage, thankfully, but I can appreciate that even though you didn't WANT it, perhaps it was necessary. Sometimes interventions are necessary, even when we don't want them to be.

I wish you the best as you heal physically, mentally, and emotionally from this experience.

Hugs!
~ Kimberly


----------



## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

I'm sorry. I like to avoid medical intervention too, but I would have done the same thing in your situation. You were avoiding intervention as long as it wasn't necessary, and that's all you can do. You didn't cop out!


----------

