# Terrible accident, I feel like crap



## applecider (Jul 16, 2005)

So yesterday I decided it would be a good day to turn on our old gas heater, the only heat in our house. You basically light the pilot and then when you turn on the heater a whole row of gas flames ignite inside the heater. There is a little access door and you can easily open it and stick your hand in. The heater is in the middle of the living room. Since my 9-month-old was born, we've been saying how when winter comes around and he's mobile, we'll have to block off the heater somehow.

Well, if you haven't already guessed it, I was an IDIOT and turned on the heater and then somehow got distracted and let my BABY play in the living room without paying attention. Yes, he stuck his hand in the FLAMES. I caught him, freaked, ran his hand under cool water, called 911, ambulance ride with my 4-year-old too, 2 degree burns all over his hand and fingers, tissue damage, trip to another hospital with a burn center......this is making me sick just typing it out.

I feel like about the most awful person right now. This could have been totally prevented and how stupid was I to not realize how serious the situation could be?? Then to make matters worse, I've already been feeling a bit down lately and like I'm burnt out on being a SAHM. Plus, I called my dad to tell him and he totally blew up and said he hoped I learned a lesson and that he hopes that I will be more careful in the future. DUH. Ya think? Thanks for the compassion dad.

Anyway, I feel like such crap about this and I guess I'm just looking for some sympathy or maybe btdt? The emt on the way to the hospital told me about a couple of things his kids did when they were little (one swallowing requiring surgery!) and that made me feel a bit better. Thanks for listening.


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## Nillarilla (Nov 20, 2007)




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## wytchywoman (Nov 14, 2006)

It happens hun. We've all had our moments were we get distracted and walk away and it hits the fan. My son, who was a master climber by the time he was 12 months old, broke his arm, not once, but twice, by the time he was 18 months old. He was so quick that I just couldn't get to him in time. I had a friend whose baby had 2nd and 3rd degree burns over her feet and legs because she out her in a walker and the little girl walked over a scalding hot heater grate. Everyone has their horror stories, and it doesn't mean we are bad mommies, it just means we are human. Huge hugs to you!!!!!


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## LionTigerBear (Jan 13, 2006)

Oh my goodness! Your poor baby, and poor YOU!









Don't feel like crap, you made a mistake. You're human. You're not a bad mother-- you feel awful and you plan to make life changes to prevent this sort of accident in the future-- and I bet you have just been holding and comforting that little baby all day since then, as much as you could-- that means you're a GOOD mother.

If it were my family, I would administer lots of Rescue Remedy for everyone involved.


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

Oh mama, even though we all try really hard - accidents still happen. And this was an accident. I hope your DS heals well and quickly and your heart too. You are NOT an idiot. You're simply a human being. Welcome to our race.


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

When I was under two, I climbed my high-chair (with my mom watching) and fell and broke my wrist. Shortly after that, I was helping my mom cook and the burner was glowing bright red. She told me not to touch it, but I did. She was standing right beside me watching. Accidents happen. You aren't to blame for this AT ALL.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cody'smomma* 
, I called my dad to tell him and he totally blew up and said he hoped I learned a lesson and that he hopes that I will be more careful in the future.

What? Cuz you are 12? And without the lecture, you wouldn't have already KNOWN???? Dads sometimes don't know how to help. They are still just used to lecturing.

I'm so sorry. You certainly aren't the only parent who's let your gaurd down and something bad happened.

My friend's son grabbed the curling iron cord when he was that age, it fell off the counter and landed on his arm and STUCK to his skin. He was in the hospital for over a week, AND all the nurses in the hospital were mad at his mom. She ADORED and worshiped that child, but she was made to feel like a terrible parent.

He's three now, and doesn't even have a scar... and he's fine. Mom is still a mess though.

Kids heal quickly, and usually it's harder on you than him.


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## Stephenie (Oct 11, 2007)

I'm sorry, mama. These things happen. Even when we ARE paying 100% attention to them, they happen. I am so sorry this happened to your family and your father should be ashamed of himself!


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

My brother was accident prone as a child...a few stories:

- He climbed out of his stroller ALL THE TIME and ended up landing on his face more than once. Major bruising each time. We would sit in the ER while he played with toys (fine by the time we got there) and the doc would basically say, "Why are you here? He's not even crying anymore."

- He liked to bang on the burners on the electric stove because they made fun noises...I guess he was 2ish at the time. Anyway, my mom pulled a chair over because she figured the stove was cool enough. Wrong. Banged a hot burner and ended up with serious burns. He's 19 now with no scars (physical or otherwise)

- He was jumping in a chair (we both were, actually...just bouncing for fun in an office building) and he lost his balance and face-planted on to the table in front of us. Had a cut above his eye that needed stitches. That scarred...but you have to REALLY look.

You're not a bad mother. Accidents happen to kids, it's a way of life. I haven't dealt with it personally, yet, as my DS is only 6mo. But I'm mentally preparing everyday! The fact that you feel bad and you're on here asking for sympathy makes you a caring and wonderful mother.


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

My grandpa had a gas burning heater simular to what you are talking about i think.

When I was three I put my hand in to touch the pretty blue and purple... I remember the thought behind it to this day..37 years later. I do not remember the pain, or the blistering... well.. maybe.. what I do remember is my mom was sitting criss cross on the floor in front of the stove and I was standing in her basket of legs.. reaching over her shoulder to do this.

Scaring.. pretty much gone. one small area of tightness between my pointer and my thumb..

Kids get dirty, kids get hurt our job is to make sure that they grow to be independant and productive. I bet this kiddo ends up with a very strong sense of natural consequences and common sense.

btw.. your dad... whatever.. I can't say it cause of the UA.
I am in Eugene if you want, need anything.


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## gillibean (Nov 28, 2006)

You must feel horrible. Yes, accidents happen and they can happen fast. We try our best to prevent them but we're human. I hope you and your son both heal quickly.


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## MomToKandE (Mar 11, 2006)




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## SimonMom (May 19, 2004)

Here are my two stories. My then 12 month old, ds2, swallowed a penny. It was stuck in his throat and had to be surgically removed. I felt like a HORRIBLE parent. It was just a random penny he found and I didn't even know he had it. Luckily the surgeon was so nice and told me how he'd removed something like over 200 coins from children's throats.

Here's the big one. I was across the street from my house with my 3 mo., 2 yr., and 5 yr. old boys buying ice cream from the ice cream truck. We live on a neighborhood road without much traffic. Well, after we bought the ice cream my 5 year old was so excited he darted into the street. A car was coming, and couldn't see him because he ran out from right behind the ice cream truck. He luckily did not get hit head on by a car, but it ran over his foot and maybe hit his side a little bit. The car was only going about 25 mph, but my son broke his leg and had a laceration from one side of his foot to the other that required 15 stitches. TAlk about mama guilt. He was literally right next to me before he ran! And he knew so well not to go in the road. It just takes one time!


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## jjawm (Jun 17, 2007)

I couldn't read this without saying that you're a fine mama, and as pp have said, it was an accident. Be gentle with yourself.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

it was an accident. don't beat yourself up. these things happen
(((((hugs))))) hope everyone feels better soon.


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## Yuba_River (Sep 4, 2006)

I'm so sorry this happened! It can happen so, so, fast. Don't beat yourself up--we all do the best we can, and despite that, accidents happen all the time. Take care.


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## MamaJenese (Aug 14, 2006)

If you weren't a good mother you would not feel as bad as you do right now. Accidents happen. When I was about three I was fooling around by the ironing board whilst my mother was ironing. I clearly remember her telling me to stop and moving me away severel times. So what did I do, I snuck back in and popped up close enough to get hit with the tip of the iron right on my forehead. I got a nasty triangle shaped burn right in the middle of it. Today you can't see a thing. Be gentle with yourself.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

it is so hard when our lo's get hurt when we know we could have prevented it if only we had XY or Z. I think every single parent has a story where it happens I know I have







But we are human and humans make mistakes. Try not to be to hard on yourself.


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## Mountaingirl79 (Jul 12, 2008)

(((Hugs))) You are NOT a bad mother! My 9 year old was playing in his room when he was about a year old, and touched a hot light bulb and got 2nd degree burns on his fingertips.

Also, when my second son was about 4, he was supposed to be asleep in bed, and I really thought for sure that he was, and somehow he fell out of bed, hit the corner of the side table and busted his eyebrow wide open.. it was gushing blood, I called 911 because I couldnt get it to stop bleeding and he was screaming. I was trying to put pressure on the wound and knew I couldn't drive while doing that....Oh, man, it was a mess. He has a scar but he is almost 7 and it looks kinda "tough" on him now. (lol) He gets compliments on it. (lol)

Just trying to say, these things happen to all of us!!!


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## rubidoux (Aug 22, 2003)

I'm so sorry, mama! It does not make me feel like you're a bad mom at all. I felt queazy reading your post bc I know it can happen to anyone.

There's a woman in my playgroup who is the most attentive mom I've ever seen, always w/in a couple feet of her kid, always giving her her complete attention -- and then one day the little girl fell off a play structure and broke her arm. Mom was right there but couldn't catch her. You can't be there to catch them 100% of the time. You just can't.

Hugs.


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## Tilia (Nov 18, 2006)

Oh, I'm so sorry!









My friend's 1 yr old put his hand into a campfire. She had to spend the rest of the night in the ER with him. Everything healed up nicely though.


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## JavaJunkie (Jan 16, 2009)

My BTDT story: When my DS7 was not quite 2, he pulled my curling iron off the bathroom counter while I was standing RIGHT THERE getting ready. In my rather lame defense, I was very pregnant with DD5 and my field of vision below my belly was limited. He grabbed the handle with one hand and grabbed the hot iron part with the other hand. I doused his hand under cool water and took him to the ER. His hand had huge blisters for so long. We had to change bandages a couple of times a day, and put the burn medicine on for quite sometime...can't remember how long exactly. But he healed up nicely.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I'll just add that I agree with everyone else. I know you feel like crap, but stuff like this _happens_. I ate a whole bottle of Flintstones vitamins before my mom got out of bed once. My sister drank turpentine (it was left in a pop bottle, but not by my parents, and my dad was still sorting through the stuff the bottle was in). My ds1 put his hand on a hot stove, and fell to the ground crying (he had no actual burns, but he was under one, and "cruising", so...). He also broke his arm jumping off the couch with his eyes closed at the ripe old age of three. I poured hot coffee on myself and had to have my whole chest bandaged. None of these things happened in situations of negligence.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Mama I know exactly where you are right now and my heart goes out to you.

My dd pulled a mug of scalding hot tea on herself at 15mo. She climbed on a stool to reach it down from the counter where ds had left it as he turned to thopen the fridge door.

We also had an ambulance ride to a burns centre about an hour and a bit away. She needed skin grafts on her upper arm and forearm and was in hospital for almost 2 weeks because she got an infection. She was in a compression garment for 18 months and we have only recently stopped making visits to the burns unit on a 2 monthly basis.

How many times I thought that if only I had not picked up the phone or if I hadn't put the kettle on the stove in the first place and just had a cold drink.
Putting her compression vest on every day and using moisturisers and silicone gel on her arm twice a day just meant that I couldn't really ever forget that it had happened. I felt like a terrible parent and it really shook my confidence. She is my fourth so I thought I should be a better parent by now yk?

You have to keep telling yourself that this was an accident. An accident is something that didn't happen on purpose or because you did wrong intentionally. Anyone who tells you it is your fault is just freaked out and looking for a reason for this to have happened. Ignore them.

From what I saw in hospital it seems that hands are very good at healing well so hope that your little one heals well.


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## lillacfaerie (Jun 29, 2009)

You are not a bad mama! I promise. When I was a little thing, about 10 months old, I fell through the railings of a split foyer, a good 7 foot drop. My poor mother! She heard a thud and went to check and saw her baby lying on a stone floor, not moving. She was hysterical. We are lucky that everyone survived her car ride to the hospital! These things happen. It's what makes us appreciate the good things in life, ya know? Your dad was just concerned and overreacting. My parents do the same thing to me everytime anything happens to my daughter. Hang in there and cuddle with your baby!


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## bethanyclaire (Dec 17, 2004)

Oh, mama! You must feel awful! It truly wasn't your fault!! These things happen to every mom out there, it just comes with the territory! Like so many of the pp's said... we are only human! We make mistakes! People who work 8 hours a day 5 days a week at their jobs make mistakes... and our jobs are 24/7!!

I've also BTDT! When DS was 9 months old he woke up while I was sound asleep (we cosleep) and crawled down the bed and right off the end. I woke up to him screaming bloody murder! It was one of the scariest moments of my life!!! He hit his face and split his lip open on the hardwood floor. His front tooth is still dark where the nerve was damaged and, to this day, the dentist is shocked that it didn't fall out!

Oh, and my uncle!!! My grandmother, the world's most attentive parent, was nearly driven mad when my uncle was little! When he was almost 4 he got into the medicine cabinet and broke a glass bottle full of aspirin. Then he ATE THE GLASS!!! He didn't eat a single aspirin... just the glass shards!! She was right in the next room washing dishes and didn't even hear the glass break. A few months later he drank a full bottle of lemon disinfectant and was mad at her for hiding the "lemonade" in the bathroom closet (on the top shelf... she still can't figure out how he got to it...). When he told her she didn't even ask him any questions... she just called the ambulance!


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

Things like this happen all the time to even the most attentive parents.







I have a friend whose child was running down a hallway right in front of her. She tripped over a grate on the floor, fell on her face, and lost a _lot_ of baby teeth-- so many that she had to have reconstructive jaw surgery. She was just running down a carpeted hall.

My DD has done so many things that could have caused her great harm (for example, she also swallowed a coin, but it passed through on its own). She's eaten plants, taken my MIL's blood pressure medicine (we found it in her mouth just in time),fallen down the stairs three times... It's amazing to me that children are not injured more gravely more often.

I just started typing out some stories of the things mysiblings and I did when we were younger, but it would take all evening and way more space than anyone wants to read







My twin brothers could literally have _seriously_ maimed or injured each other at least 5 times by the age of 2; thankfully, each time, the damage was minimal.

When things like this happen to my DD, I try to think, "Okay, I am going to take this as a reminder of how easily bad things happen and how fragile life is."


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## sebandg'smama (Oct 29, 2005)




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## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

In a room FULL of adults (and they weren't drinking either!) My cousin was naked and "warming" herself by the fire. She bent over to pick up something I guess and her butt stuck out too far. It actually got seared on the glass doors of the fireplace. My mom says it was horrifying because the skin kinda stuck there and they had to pull her off. So, she had horribly burns to her buttocks. I don't think anyone thought she was that close and no one thought about the possibility of crouching down. . . I was only five but remember the night and the panic but not the details.

Amy


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## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

Hope you and your baby are feeling better.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Mama.. similar story here last week. DH was getting ready in the morning, and I was still in bed. He plugged the iron in in the living room where DS was playing on a ride-on toy (that DH was unaware he could get himself off of) across the room, and DH walked into the bedroom to grab his shirt, and in that less than 3 seconds DS was across the room and pulled the iron down onto his leg and foot.







He has second degree burns on his foot, that are having a hard time healing. Things like this happen, and it is scary, but you can't beat yourself up.


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## MacKinnon (Jun 15, 2004)

Hugs mama! Be gentle on yourself! My brother caused all kinds of nearly catostrophic events. Ranging from swallowing coins to putting the car in gear and crashing through a fence at 2!!! My mom had put him in his car seat and come back in the house to get me, and some other things. In the mean time, my brother un-did his harness, crawled into the front seat and put the car in gear. Luckily, it went forward and into a wooden privacy fence that stopped it, and not backwards into the street where he could have hit by another car, or run over a pedestrian. All of this in just a couple minutes.

At 4 I stuck Styrofoam peanuts up my nose and had to go to the ER to get them out. My sister stuck her thumb in a glass Christmas ball and twisted, sending her to the ER for stitches all around the base of her thumb, she was just shy of 2.

These things happen mama, they are accidents. Be gentle on yourself and best wishes that your child heals quickly!


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## PretzelMama (Apr 19, 2009)

Big hugs mama.







These things can happen to anyone. Please be kind to yourself.


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

Apparently when I was 2 I pulled up a chair to a hot stove and put my palms down flat on the burners. I had blisters all over. But I don't remember a thing of it...and my mom is still the best mom in the whole wide world







.

I am so sorry to hear this happened. Big hugs to you and your baby.


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## jacie87 (Jan 17, 2009)

I am so afraid of my dd burning herself any time I am using the oven, and now she is tall enough that she could reach the burners if she wanted to. I've started to only use the back ones.

Thankfully she has never burned herself, but I had her in her high chair one time and forgot to strap her in. She stood up and fell face first on our kitchen floor. Her two front teeth are chipped now. Things like that happen...sorry to hear about your dad giving you a hard time. People do that to me and it is so annoying because I already feel bad enough about things. When DD was 6 months old I put her on a chair so she could look at herself in the mirror while I was changing my shirt, and of course she fell flat on her face and started screaming. She had bruises on her chin and above her eye and refused to eat anything for about a day. Everyone was treating me like I was a horrible mother for it.


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## Purple*Lotus (Nov 1, 2007)

I am so sorry this happened







I hope your LO heals quickly, try to take care of yourself, Mama


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## 34me (Oct 2, 2006)

My kids are older and I could write a book about all the calamities in our house...when ds#1 was 15mos he fell on the shower door track requiring stitches, more at 22 months and more at 26months we were right there for all of them. At 6 he ran into a parked car and scalped himself on the side view mirror, we were outside right around the corner, at 10 he broke 4 ribs and cracked his spleen all because we were screwing around with a hose and he fell, at not quite 12 he punched his dad while messing around and broke his hand. His brother has had a set of stitches and the cherry on the top is this past July 4th we were out on a family bike ride and dd who is 15 fell and impailed herself on the bike brake, the whole thing was in her thigh!

Theese things happen. Please be gentle with yourself.


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## applecider (Jul 16, 2005)

Thank you everyone, for making me feel better. Everytime I have to change his bandages and do his finger exercises (like 20-30 times a day) I am reminded. It is so painful for me emotionally and for him physically, although he is doing pretty well, he's a happy baby and seems to have a pretty high pain tolerance. I still feel kind of disgusted with myself and I'm sure it will take me some time to forgive.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *boobybunny* 
My grandpa had a gas burning heater simular to what you are talking about i think.

When I was three I put my hand in to touch the pretty blue and purple... I remember the thought behind it to this day..37 years later. I do not remember the pain, or the blistering... well.. maybe.. what I do remember is my mom was sitting criss cross on the floor in front of the stove and I was standing in her basket of legs.. reaching over her shoulder to do this.

Scaring.. pretty much gone. one small area of tightness between my pointer and my thumb..

This is what we are doing the finger exercises for. So when the skin grows back it will not be tight. It is not fun to do, he hates it. And we have to hold him down screaming to change the bandages once a day. Poor little guy...


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

I know the bandage changes and exercises are traumatic for all of you right now. After your little one heals up you can continue to do scar massage everyday and make it a little time for the two of you so you can "love on his hand". It will help that tissue to stay soft, prevent future tightness and give you a way to make peace with it.

Things happen and feeling terrible isn't going to help.


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## applecider (Jul 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PoppyMama* 









I know the bandage changes and exercises are traumatic for all of you right now. After your little one heals up you can continue to do scar massage everyday and make it a little time for the two of you so you can "love on his hand". It will help that tissue to stay soft, prevent future tightness and give you a way to make peace with it.

Things happen and feeling terrible isn't going to help.

I know that feeling terrible isn't going to help, but it doesn't change the fact that I do feel guilty. It's not like I can just force my brain to stop thinking about it. It just tends to creep in.


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## deny_zoo29 (Sep 21, 2008)

Hugs Mama







Accidents happen! And your dad was not at all helpful in this situation!









Our nephew (who is 15 now, but was about 8 at the time) burned his leg on the hot exhaust pipe pf the motorcycle after he went for a ride with my DP. Even though he was told how to get on and off and told to stay away from the hot engine and pipes etc. He was so excited after the ride, he got off the wrong side and he burned his leg on the pipe. His skin actually melted to the pipe!!







And he still has a good size scar! We felt so bad, but he's ok!

And my younger brother...jeesh! He had stitches in his head 4 times by the time he was 5! He was running in the house and slipped and hit his head on the wall, he was jumping in a swivel recliner (even though he had been repeatedly told not too) it flipped forward and he hit his head on the end table, he was jumping around in the bath tub (again after being told to sit down) slipped and hit his face on the spicket, he was playing with my dad's tools and hit a hammer on a half flattened rubber kick ball and the claw side hit him in the forehead! And he burned his hand on the iron when my mom was ironing clothes. SHe told him it was Hot, don't touch it, she turned around to hang something up and sure enough he touched it and burned 3 fingers to blistering!

SO there's some of my stories for you! Hope they help some!


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

It definitely happens to all of us. Just this morning I was letting my 2-year-old walk around in too-big shoes belonging to his older sister, and he fell into the entertainment center and cut his eyebrow area wide open. He has two big cuts and a black eye.
















I hope your baby's hand feels better soon.


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## InMediasRes (May 18, 2009)

So sorry to hear this, mama.







Don't beat yourself up. It happens to the best of parents. My DS swallowed a 2cm screw at 8mo. Luckily it didn't have to be removed surgically, but it could have caused a lot of damage passing through anyway. We have a really great Xray for his baby book.

He also pulled a knife down from our counter once and cut his big toenail in half. He screamed and screamed for a long time. It was a huge knife (it was Thanksgiving dinner and we had carved the turkey with it) and it could have cut off his toe or done something much worse. I was horrified that I hadn't left the knife somewhere where he couldn't get to it.

I hope your son (and you) heals very soon. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers.


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## Cujobunny (Aug 16, 2006)

It certainly could have been a lot worse!

A couple months ago my kids were on our back porch and dh and i were further in the backyard at our patio table talking after dinner. I heard my kids get into an argument and stood up to intervene, and before I got there, dd pitched a fit and tried to run away from ds. She tripped and fell face first onto a spare BBQ propane tank







Once I got her a bit calmed down (she was hysterical and very bloody!) and realized it was only her teeth that were injured, I called our dentist office who recommended we go to the Hospital for Sick Children as they have pediatric dentists on site, or at least on call. So we did, we only had to wait 15 mins after getting signed in and they were fantastic. Told us that for getting a call in at 8pm for a kid who smashed her face on a propane tank, dd looked pretty good. However, she had about half her front tooth chipped off and the four front teeth were very loose, so loose that they were concerned they would be too damaged and they would have to pull them all!







They did an exam and an ex-ray and told us that most likely, given her age, they would firm up on their own, and so far it looks like they have and she has no damage except for the chip, which gives her character we think









SO lessons learned =
Accidents happen
Things could always be much much worse.
Be thankful your kids are healthy and alive. (Visiting the ER of Sick Kids hospital made me think about all the parents who bring their VERY sick or even dying children there, and was a total reality check, cuz I was TOTALLY beating myself up about not getting to my kids in time!)


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

That must have been so horrifying for you!









But you aren't an awful person. These things happen. My youngest has a little scar that is a constant reminder to me of *my* moment of being brainless when he was about 3 months old. All it takes is 1 second, and none of us can be that perfectly attentive or have our wits about us 100%


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## Serenyd (Jan 6, 2008)

My friend in nursing school, her son (now grown) was burned when he was a baby. She told me it was hard for her to talk about it for _years_. What happened was, she was on a family ski trip, and her parents were babysitting. There was a stump with fireants living it in, so, not wanting the kids to get bitten, they burned the stump. The toddler was naked and not wanting to get dressed, and ran from them. He was looking back over his shoulder when he tripped and fell into the hot coals, hands first. He was badly burned and still has problems using one of his hands. Hopefully your lo will heal fast without any problems!







s


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cody'smomma* 
I know that feeling terrible isn't going to help, but it doesn't change the fact that I do feel guilty. It's not like I can just force my brain to stop thinking about it. It just tends to creep in.

I was gearing this more towards people (like your dad) making you feel worse about it like you don't understand what happened and need some guilt reinforcement.


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## ~Heyokha~ (Nov 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Serenyd* 
My friend in nursing school, her son (now grown) was burned when he was a baby. She told me it was hard for her to talk about it for _years_. What happened was, she was on a family ski trip, and her parents were babysitting. There was a stump with fireants living it in, so, not wanting the kids to get bitten, they burned the stump. The toddler was naked and not wanting to get dressed, and ran from them. He was looking back over his shoulder when he tripped and fell into the hot coals, hands first. He was badly burned and still has problems using one of his hands. Hopefully your lo will heal fast without any problems!







s

























I can't imagine how you feel.

I had a nurse friend who was baking cookies with her toddler and opened the oven and pulled the cookies out. She placed the cookies on the counter but by the time she turned around her toddler had place both arms on the oven door.

I know it doesn't make it easier- but these things do happy. It doesn't mean that you are a bad mom. I hope everything is going well.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

yes mama it was a terrible thing to happen. and if i was in your shoes i dont know if i could have felt anything different.

however just make sure this experience does not have an adverse affect on you. that you are able to recover eventually and move on. THAT is key. dont let it pull you down. yes if you are anything like me - this will live with you for the rest of your life but not take over your life.

in defence of your dad - he reminds me of my dad. even as a child i discovered he would mask his fear and anxiety in anger. so if he yelled at me i saw that as love. i realised it was pretty serious and he was freaking out.

i am sure when you told your dad and he realised how bad things COULD have been, out of relief he took it out on you. i dont think he could have helped himself. he just had to let off steam. so dont read his words as how irresponsible you are. but read it as omg i am so relieved that everyone is ok. i have seen my dad react in such a way sooooo many times. it also gives me a clue as to how serious the problem was.








s mama. my dd is 7. i still hear clearly the thud of my dd as new standing baby falling off the chair and landing on the crown of her head on concrete. with me standing right next to her. in a sense i must say i was grateful for that experience. it made me realise how things can change with the snap of the fingers. i think that incident made me relax and enjoy my dd more.


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

:

The worst that's happened to us is my oldest slipping on the ice as a toddler and knocking himself out.

But here's a secret- the fact that we haven't needed an ambulance ride is due to luck. I'm sure there have been plenty of split second opportunities of inattention that could have ended very badly. We all have them.

Like the time my 19 month old dashed past my 9 month pregnant self in a parking lot and was running into the path of an oncoming delivery truck. Or when I didn't realize a toddler was nearby when I opened the oven to take out something and he came dashing over. Or when my son stood on the back of the couch and starting shaking a heavy glass covered picture frame. Or...well, you get the idea.


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your baby! It was an accident though!! Please be gentle with yourself and don't let anyone make you think otherwise.


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## Kismet_fw (Aug 7, 2009)

Poor babies! What a fright for everyone ... how is he feeling now, and if he needs it, will you be able to calm yourself for his sake?


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## WC_hapamama (Sep 19, 2005)

Oh Mama... be kind to yourself. Sometimes this stuff happens.

If it makes you feel any better, your DC won't remember it happening.

I was a little bit older than your little one when I burnt my hand on a clothes iron. It had been unplugged, and Mom left it up on the ironing board where she thought it was out of my reach. I pushed a toy over to climb up to reach it and it fell down on my hand, still hot, and I ended up with a gnarly burn. I don't remember a thing about it, and the scar, well, that's just part of being me. Mom still feels guilty about it, and it was 32 years ago.


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## tireesix (Apr 27, 2006)

Oooooooo, ummmmmm, I have one that made me feel AWFUL. I gave DD1 some vegan cheese that was slightly out of date (I ate some as well). I ended up puking my guts up whilst having to look after a baby and poor DD1 ended up in hospital (she wasn't even 2!

Another one, I had my gym ball out while pregnant with DD2 and due to lack of space, it was just freely available. DD1 loved playing with it only one day, she was playing and went right over the top of the ball and smashed into a chair and required stitches in hospital.

Another one, DD1 used to love messing around with the toilet. I tried to stop her but she was obsessed. One day I heard her screaming and went to see what was going on and she had actually fallen into the toilet, her little legs were waving around in the air and I actually collapsed because I was laughing so hard. I did get her out and she didn't require hospital visit but I felt so guilty for laughing like that but it has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Accidents happen, nobody is ever on the ball all the time and no doubt your father probably has some stories to tell of you when you were young. Yes what happened was horrific but I expect you are punishing yourself worse than anybody else could do and really, most people don't have a leg to stand on morally cos who hasn't had an accident with their kids?


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

I did a very similar thing with ds#3 was 10 months old. We had a wood burning stove and I was starting it for the first time that year. We didn't have the gate around it yet, but I had ds in the kitchen behind the gate, so I thought it'd be fine. It was until I ran to get the phone in the kitchen and left the gate open. It couldn't have been 20 seconds later I realised that he had gotten out of the kitchen and pulled himself up...using the stove! He had a blister on the palm of one hand and a pretty good red burn on the other. I felt awful!! Thankfully the doctor took a look at it and said to just keep a watch on it. sigh.

So, as you can see, you're not alone. I think many of us have made mistakes or been momentarily unaware of something like that. You're human.


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## RiverTam (May 29, 2009)

Don't get too down. Accidents happen. Luckily your child wasn't killed or permanently maimed.

My mom and little brother had a burn accident when he was 2. She answered the phone and left a pan of fried chicken on the stove. He reached up and pulled the handle and the entire pan spilled over his head. He had 2nd degree burns to the scalp. The treatment was terrible, but he didn't even scar.

Now when he's being weird or silly or stubborn, we tease him and tell him it's all because Mom chicken-fried his head.

Last summer, I was playing with my son and chasing him at the park. He tried to run across the *top* of a climber at the park, fell through the bars, and sprained an ankle. I felt like an idiot.

On another memorable occasion, my son and I were playing with a cart in a parking lot. I was running with it. He was holding on and it seemed okay because the parking lot was flat and smooth. I hit a rock, though, and he catapulted out of the cart. I didn't just feel like an idiot that time ... I WAS an idiot that time. He was okay, but my heart was in my throat.

(I'd think about getting rid of that gas heater, though. Can you swap it for an electric space heater? The ceramic core space heaters are pretty safe, because the heating core isn't exposed and the surface area doesn't get too hot.)


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

You are a good mama! And I'm sure your son knows it, and probably even your dad does too--I hope he'll apologize.









When my grandfather was a toddler, his mother filled the laundry tub with boiling water, and in the one moment her back was turned, he pulled up on the side of the tub and reached in his left hand...and lost his balance so that he couldn't pull his hand back! His mother got him out as quickly as she could, but he was badly burned, and the medical care available to them was nothing like we can get now. For the rest of his life, his hand was bent and had about 10% mobility due to severe scarring. BUT he always saw it as an accident, not in any way his mother's fault, and he was very devoted to her all her long life.


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## lurve (May 5, 2006)

my dd just knocked out her three teeth falling off a counter stool. i now proudly put on my humble cape of nonperfection.


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## amandaleigh37 (Jul 13, 2006)

I'm so sorry this happened









I know I would feel the same way, but you are not a bad mother. There have been plenty of days that I wasn't "on my game" and had very close calls that could have easily turned into serious accidents. We are only human, and we do the best we can.

I hope your little one is healed up soon <3


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## dm_0623 (Jul 14, 2009)

That's absolutely terrifying to go through- no wonder you are still in shock! But your son is lucky that you were so quick in getting help and are so focused on his recovery.

Things like this can be so scary for parents- sometimes scarier than they arefor our kids. There's actually a web site that can help with post-crisis worries, it's called www.AfterTheInjury.org, for parents of kids who've experienced an accident like this. It might be worth checking out the "self care" section there, if you're still feeling shaken.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Quote:

But here's a secret- the fact that we haven't needed an ambulance ride is due to luck. I'm sure there have been plenty of split second opportunities of inattention that could have ended very badly. We all have them.
This is so very true.

A couple of months ago my dh found our toddler up on the counter, holding a very large, very sharp knife.

I thought ds was with dh. Dh thought ds was with me. Neither of us realized that he was capable of moving a hefty chair to the counter, climbing up, and finding the knives.

It could have been so bad.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

Lots of







s ! Don't worry we all as parents have our moments. I agree with pp that you really can not be there every single second. I know it's hard I have been there myself. When my DD was about 2 she leaned her belly on top of our vicks humidifier and got 2nd degrees burns. Every time I took the bandage off my heart sank. It was a lesson and a good one.








s







s







s !


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

I haven't read the responses but I couldn't see your post without writing something.

I'm so sorry, mama. I am really hard on myself too, and when I was younger and messed up somehow MY mom used to tell me, "That's why its called an _accident_, not an _on purpose_." For some reason that always made me feel better.

Be gentle with yourself!!! Everyone makes mistakes.... it could have happened to any one of us.


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