# Just LOST custody due to nursing my 4yr old



## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

Hello,
I am new to these forums, though not to Mothering. A recent life event has caused me to look for support every where I can think of.

This past week here in Vermont, I received a judges findings in an on going custody dispute with my ex husband. Though we have been separated since mid-2004, I have spent the entire 4 years since in and out of court defending myself and the decisions I have made regarding nursing, co-sleeping, not vaccinating my kids etc.

When married, my ex husband and I educated ourselves and made these choices jointly. Upon filing for divorce 3 years later, these choices were made into points as to why he thought I was an unfit parent.

I never believed that the courts would actually agree. But, they have. This particular judge was appalled that I continued to nurse my child into her fourth year and shared a bed with both my 4 and 6 yr old daughters. She agrees with my ex that the children will likely need counseling as a result.

As you can imagine, I am devastated and in shock. I am looking to find any legal recourse I have, but if you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate hearing from you. Thanks,
Emily (GoddessArt)


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## Robyn79 (Feb 6, 2007)

No suggestions Emily...only lots of







I am so very sorry that this has happened to you.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

I'm sorry, Emily. I have no legal expertise, but perhaps agencies such as API, LLL, and maybe even Dr. Sears from California could help bolster your case. It sounds like you need a really good lawyer!


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## CalebsMome (Apr 25, 2007)

Could you try contacting La Leche? Maybe they know of a nursing friendly lawyer who has been through this. There have to be other people who have been through something similar and I wonder if La Leche would be able to help you find resources. See for them, this is a precident, possibly. They would want to get involved and there may even be a lawyer who would take this case a Pro Bono because of the whole setting a precident factor.







I can't imagine what this is like for you.


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## possum (Nov 23, 2004)

Oh mama,







, that's really awful. I don't have any suggestions about your situation, but you might want to cross post this in the single parents' area as well as the lactivism and breastfeeding beyond infancy areas to get more help.
Melinda


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

I couldn't read your post and not respond. I am so sorry.









I cannot believe the judge's decision. It is outrageous that she would feel that nursing and co sleeping with your children will end in the need for counseling. In fact, it's usually quite the opposite. Where is her information coming from? I am devestated and outraged for you. Can I ask about your attorney? Do you feel like you had good representation? Do you have any custody at all? How much?

Have you tried contacting the Le Leche League, the ACLU or any other group?

Please post this in the Activism forum (under Natural Family Living) because I know a lot of other mamas here will be equally saddened and angry for you.

Hang in there!


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

I am so sorry you are going through this, and for so long! I have no advice for you, but I wanted to offer you my support







!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I am sorry.


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

Oh my, you all post so fast here, it's hard to keep up. But thank you all so much for your loving support!
I have contacted LLL and am anxious to hear a response.

Yes, I still have time with my children, a little bit more than their father. But he now has the right to choose their doctors and their schooling - which ultimately will be the power to decide where I live.

I will post this in the Activism section, too - (hope I don't bug any one for double posting.)

In the meantime, thanks so much for all your ideas and support.


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## Mosaic (Jun 20, 2005)

Oh, I wish I had some advice for you, but I really don't know much about this. I'll hunt around for other resources for you... what state are you in? I just had to post because I feel so terribly about your situation and I'm shocked that a judge would do this.


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

I'm in Vermont...liberal Vermont!


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## TattooedMommy (Aug 11, 2006)

Oh mama! The ladies here have given some great advice! I totally agree about finding a lawyer who is pro-EBF, etc. I think that would be a great help to you.


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## angie7 (Apr 23, 2007)

I couldnt read and not send you a







:


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

Now that I've brought this up in a public fora, I'm completely breaking down and sobbing! I'm wanting to feel empowerment - and I just feel so desperate.

This judge also reprimanded me for not allowing my daughters to have Barbie dolls. She said, "I played with Barbies and I turned out fine."

I am in utter disbelief myself. With a court appointed Guardian Ad Litem and the children's own court appointed attorney on my side, I thought (we ALL thought) it was an ace in the hole. I mean, I have been the children's primary parent, a SAHM for 7 years now. Suddenly, the kids will be gone 6 out of every 14 days.
Sorry to get wrapped up in self pity. I guess I have some mourning to do. I've tried to be Zen about it and ended up sick...and so weak. Now I don't feel sick anymore, but I feel like I could die of sadness.


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## Tellera (Oct 28, 2005)




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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

omg i am so sorry. that is unbelievable!

what does your lawyer say?

I really cannot believe this judge. what do barbies have to do with anything? i mean that should be irrelevant!


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## jamsmama (Jul 16, 2005)

Ouch! I'm in Vermont too and nursing my 3.2 yo DS. Hope they don't come lookin' for me.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Our society is so screwed up when it comes to the natural flow of life. Who put these people in charge?







:


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## Tigeresse (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoddessArt* 
This judge also reprimanded me for not allowing my daughters to have Barbie dolls. She said, "I played with Barbies and I turned out fine."


Well *that* is clearly debatable, considering she's unbelievably closeminded.

Hugs to you, mama. I truly hope you find the support you need. You have done right by your kids. Do not give up!


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## aaronsmom (Jan 22, 2007)

I'm so so sorry, mama.







I have no advice but I hope everything gets straightened out and soon!


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Oh my gosh, mama, they CAN'T do this to you. I hope you are able to get your babies back. I am in tears for you right now.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

Wow. That is so appalling. My jaw just about hit my keyboard.

Please keep us updated on what happens. I am really curious to hear what the LLL says.


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

I couldn't believe the judge brought up Barbie either. That was at the very end of a two day hearing....her last question to me. This is pretty much how it went down.

Judge: "So, do you not allow your children to play with toys at all?"
Me: "Of course I do. It's just I prefer natural toys over plastics."
Judge: "What exactly do you have against Barbies?"
Me: "I just feel that there are more enriching toys for girls to play with."
Judge: "Well, I played with Barbies and came out fine."

Before that, she was stoic through the whole two days, never let any of us know her leanings through subtle expressions or otherwise. When she said that, i knew there was a chance i could lose.


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## treqi (Dec 31, 2006)

Aww mama I feel so bad for you your posts made me cry! I just want to give you lots of



























































































:







:







:







:







:







: you are the tree! And































































to that immature judge!


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

It is a terrible shame that the judge didn't bother to educate herself on the benefits of EBF, cosleeping, etc. Please, don't be upset by this question, I DO find the ruling upsetting, but I wonder if it was realistic to expect sole custody? I mean, clearly, you divorced/separated from this man for a reason, so I'm assuming that he has traits that you do not care for and probably don't wish for your children to be around. But maybe, once you finish your mourning, that you can think about the fact that children do benefit from having a father that is active in their lives. Again, don't be mad, but maybe there are a few positives that can come from this unfortunate situation.


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## veganf (Dec 12, 2005)

I am just so appalled and sad and shocked...the list goes on...
You sounds like such a wonderful mother and it makes me sick to think that a judge can take away parental rights just like that.
I don't know what to say.
Scary.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

I think its terrible if the judge based her decision on your parenting choices.

That being said, you wrote that the children will be gone six out of 14 days....so, three days each week they will be with their father? Like, a long weekend each week...or am i not understanding? I wouldnt view this as "losing custody", although it sounds like you will no longer have sole primary decision making regarding certain parenting decisions?

I know this has to be hard on you and the children.

Katherine


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## Doula Dani (Jan 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nichole* 
I really cannot believe this judge. what do barbies have to do with anything? i mean that should be irrelevant!









:

What kind of judge is this? These things are not illegal! I'm sure LLL will reach out to you. Good luck!


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## MamaCupacke (Apr 3, 2008)

I'm so sorry you're going through this.
My brother is going through a custody battle right now & I know how heartbreaking & taxing it can be on a person.
I agree with everyone else. Get LLL on your side.
I hope it all works out for you in the end.


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## Benji'sMom (Sep 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoddessArt* 
This judge also reprimanded me for not allowing my daughters to have Barbie dolls. She said, "I played with Barbies and I turned out fine."


Oh I really hope you can appeal, this is not an appropriate basis for a ruling on custody IMO. The judge shouldn't think about herself or at least she should not let that affect her decision at all! Horrible judge. So sorry.









But I guess I'm not understanding either, this sounds like shared custody to me, not like you actually "lost custody." Do you just think they are too young to spend equal time with the father, away from you?


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

I can live with the new contact schedule, though it will take some adjustment.

That's not the issue.

I'm upset that a judge has based her decision on my choices as a parent. Her claim is that these choices are "irresponsible" and "not in the children's best interest". In short, she characterizes me as a renegade hippie, who balks at all the marvelous offerings of the modern world... like beds, bottles, and barbies. No, my choices are not mainstream, but that doesn't make them wrong. I've also lost any power to make decisions regarding schooling, doctors etc. These are the reasons why I am so upset.


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

I suppose I should clarify what custody means. It isn't just about where the kids lay their heads. It has to do with all decisions a parent makes regarding their schooling and health.

Due to the fact that I chose to nurse my kids beyond what is conceived of as "normal", that I choose to share a bed with my children, that I didn't follow the recommended schedule of vaccinations, a judge has stripped my rights to make any legal decisions. That's what is so wrong here.


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## Ellen Griswold (Feb 27, 2008)

I do understand what you mean. You feel robbed of the right to parent as you see fit. You mentioned a guardian ad litum. While it is certainly frustrating to have a complete stranger looking after your children's interests, well....it's another caring adult looking out for your children so maybe it isn't an entirely bad thing. Maybe this is the person you could gently try to educate about your parenting choices. Most judges (I think) go by what the guardian ad litum says. Hang in there.


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## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

Omg I can't believe this is happening to you! I am so, so sorry and totally outraged. That judge is unspeakably ignorant.








You've come to the right place for love and support though. Don't give up this fight!


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

Thanks, Ellen.
Yes, the judge in this case reached her own decision, in spite of and contrary to the guardian ad litum's recommendations.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)




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## Subhuti (Feb 18, 2005)

I am so sorry this happened.

The other forum I would cr0ss-post this to is the breastfeeding one. I believe there is an activism sub forum with in that. The women over there are very supportive. i had a issue with nursing in public, minor relative to the discrimination you are facing, and they were supportive.

I think i would be considering finding a sympathetic journalist at this point as well as filing an appeal.

So you have joint custody (they spend half the time with each of you) and then you have no legal say in their education/medical situation? Do I have this right? I can't imagine this based simply on cosleeping and extended breastfeeding.

Liz


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## GoddessArt (Apr 2, 2008)

Good news - I just learned that the court appointed attorney for the children may be filing an appeal of her own!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoddessArt* 
Good news - I just learned that the court appointed attorney for the children may be filing an appeal of her own!

Oh, that's great!








to you, Mama! Please keep us posted!


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## jamsmama (Jul 16, 2005)

Please keep us informed.







:


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm glad to hear the update and that you may regain legal custody of your children. I'm very very glad to hear that you never lost physical custody.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

Does your ex have sole legal custody?

That is really odd. Judges almost always give joint legal custody, even when one parent has sole physical.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

What exactly did your ex husband want? Did he REALLY want you to quit nursing? Did he want more control? More time?

I just can't help thinking that this is more about his own issues, than what he accused you of.


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## verdeluz (Jan 27, 2008)

I'm so sorry you are going through this!

First of all, you should get your own lawyer. The children's lawyers are bound by the ethics code to represent only the children's interest, which may or may not coincide with yours. Your lawyer would represent your interest and would help you defend yourself from these vicious attacks. To use your conscious parenting ways to strip you of your rights is very wrong. You need someone who can point out all the positive things about your parenting choices.

I wish you good luck!


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

If you haven't yet taken the advice, DO call La Leche League. LLL have both medical and legal liaison personnel that can help you with your case. The judge & courts have VIOLATED your civil rights.

Another person you might try to contact, although this may be a long shot is Kathy Dettwyler. She is at Texas A & M Anthropology and has spent her life studying natural breastfeeding in humans. Her research shows that it is NATURAL to breastfeed until even 6 or 7 years old. She is a HUGE advocate for people who have had their rights violated, although I don't know if she would get personally involved. If you go to her website (google for it), it has her email address there.

Good luck. These things infuriate me!


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## GranoLLLy-girl (Mar 1, 2005)

This may sound like a stretch, but maybe you could email Dr. Sears or at least someone in his camp to help. It couldn't hurt.
I would tell him what you have told us here. I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I second/third/fourth the suggestion of calling your local LLL--also, if you don't get a good response from your immediate group, call the group in the next county and start working backwards. They SHOULD have legal information in the literature (I know we do).

Also, I noticed in your original post that you said your husband was on board---can you tell your lawyers this? Is there any documentation to say that yes, our parenting decisions were joint decisions? I think that might help, too.

Finally, appeal--that's the next thing to do.


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

go here: http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detletter.htm

Its a letter from the world acknowledged expert on infant feeding/breast feeding about extended breastfeeding written precisely for court cases like yours. It explains why ebf is a good thing and that it does not injure the child!


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Just wanted to add that her website has info on cosleeping as it relates to breastfeeding.

Geez, my son slept with me until he was 11 or 12. Well, by then, it was off and on, like if there was a storm or he watched a scary movie, but still.


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## avalanchelynn (Jun 8, 2007)

hugs from me too...it's real surprising for such a verdict, and it sure makes me sad that the mainstream views extending bfing and cosleeping as detrimental to a child's development







i find it so annoying when others just pooh-pooh and disregard the whole importance of quality bonding with little ones...

i agree, you need a very good lawyer and one who's family oriented, who's enraged by how your girls are taken away from you when all you wanna do is be with them...


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## EVC (Jan 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
go here: http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detletter.htm

Its a letter from the world acknowledged expert on infant feeding/breast feeding about extended breastfeeding written precisely for court cases like yours. It explains why ebf is a good thing and that it does not injure the child!


That's a great letter--I hadn't seen it before. I wonder if MDC could add it to a sticky somewhere--it seems like it would be useful to many members and it would be nice to have easy access to it. Unfortunately, I have seen this and related issues come up a number of times on the boards.


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## jeca (Sep 21, 2002)

I wish I had some advice.


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## mom4peace (Mar 5, 2008)

My heart goes out to you. Positive vibes that things will turn in your favor.


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## cak1207 (Dec 2, 2007)

Aww Mama I cried reading this. I'm sending lots of hug













































































you r way!!

About the judge taking the Guardian Ad Litem's side. I am a CASA (Guardian Ad Litem) and I have to say it's not always that way. I wish the Judge would always do what we recommend but it's not always so easy. I'm glad yours is on your side. I really hope things turn out good! Let us know whats going on.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

First of all, I am sooo sorry! I can't imagine.

Here are some articles from LLL on bfing and the law and legal issues:
http://www.llli.org/Law/LawUS.html?m=0,1,0

Scroll down here and there are some articles on divorce and AP
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/p...fessionals.php

I would contact API HQ (Attachment Parenting International). Aprise them of your situation and they can put out a call for an AP friendly lawyer in your area or other support for you. It happens frequently.

You could also contact Jan Hunt at The Natural Child Project. She's a counselor and AP advocate. She might be able to help with some testimony/information on your child's mental health as it regards to nursing and co-sleeping. Jan responds to emails, as I understand.

You might, also, email Peggy O'Mara (of this website and Mothering magazine) and no harm in contacting Dr. Sears, either. Most of these folks sit on API's Board of Directors, but asking for help and advice never hurts. You never know who can come through for you!

Finally, I might try to get court transcripts of the judge's remarks and talk with your lawyer about the appropriateness of them. Who knows? I might work in your favor. It might be nothing. But it doesn't hurt to exhaust all options.

Best of luck and please keep us posted!


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## evan's on earth (Jan 12, 2008)

I was very disturbed when I started reading this thread over you being punished for meeting your child's needs ... if he's nursing, he needs it. Then when you mentioned the judge was female, I was absolutely sickened! I hope she doesn't have children.
Please post any address I can send a letter or anything that can help.


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## kokonutmama (Feb 12, 2006)

That is really shocking. I'm so sorry you're going through this









I don't have any advice, just support.


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## Shaki (Mar 15, 2006)

Emily,
I haven't read any of the replies, but immediately wanted to offer support. I'm so sorry you are going though this! Sending you empathy, strength, understanding, and respect. Hang in there!


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## sheilajolene (Oct 11, 2006)

I'm very cynical, so you may not like what I have to say. I'm also in the middle of a very nasty custody dispute. My son is only 13 months, and my attorney has advised me not to discuss breastfeeding at all for this very reason; I have also been advised to keep my crib child-friendly in case there are any questions about me co-sleeping. No one cares if you think that nursing an older child is important. All the courts care about is that the APA says 12 months. My attorney is very AP-friendly (co-slept and nursed for 2.5 years) and she is very adamant that we don't discuss breastfeeding. If the father is careless enough to want custody when your dc isn't ready, then it's best just to stay quiet about it.

I printed out all these letters that people posted to you. I called LLL leaders across the country and I contacted every person at API that I could find. I had a stack of documents and letters from child-development experts, and I was told that basically I could just throw it all away because no one cared to take the time to do the reading. If the person wasn't in court to actually give a verbal testimony, then the letters were useless. Maybe you live someplace more informed, but I wouldn't bet that any court cares about you nursing your little one. I'm currently facing an entire court system which is berating me for nursing and co-sleeping with my 13-month old.

Good luck. I would just keep quiet about the nursing, because that doesn't seem to be the biggest issue here.


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## crunchymomofmany (May 24, 2007)

I'm in Vermont too - have you considered talking to the newspaper? I know a couple of reporters who might be interested in your story...
Getting word out about this judge with a little bad publicity might be just what you need.

Just a thought...feel free to PM me if you want a couple of names.


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## gilamama (Aug 9, 2005)




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## mrsdocmartin (Nov 16, 2006)

I'm so so sorry.


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

I hope you win the appeal.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sheilajolene* 
Good luck. I would just keep quiet about the nursing, because that doesn't seem to be the biggest issue here.

I can't speculate as to what's best in your case -- but in the OP's case, it was impossible for her to keep quiet because this was one of the issues her ex-husband brought up in his campaign to discredit her. He'd agreed about these Attachment Parenting issues while he was married to her, then turned around and used them against her when he thought it might help his case.


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## akwifeandmomma (Aug 13, 2005)

I am so sorry.


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## PancakeGoddess (Oct 8, 2004)

I'm so sorry, mama.

But I do want to echo sheila's comments. I have a friend who has been through a similar thing, and the court is NOT reasonable or fair. It's a dirty process. In my opinion, nothing is as important as retaining my full parental rights, and I'm sorry to say I would sacrifice many of my ideals in order to improve my chances of winning out over a bigoted court.


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## Aura_Kitten (Aug 13, 2002)

OHh myy god, I couldn't read this and not respond... HUGE







s to the OP...

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this ... PLEASE keep us updated!!


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## Ingrid Scales (Mar 24, 2008)




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## sheilajolene (Oct 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mammal_mama* 
I can't speculate as to what's best in your case -- but in the OP's case, it was impossible for her to keep quiet because this was one of the issues her ex-husband brought up in his campaign to discredit her. He'd agreed about these Attachment Parenting issues while he was married to her, then turned around and used them against her when he thought it might help his case.

I understand your concern, and I know that my situation is different. However, it's been my experience that it's best just to keep your mouth shut and pretend to do what the "norm" is. Frankly, we all know how mainstream society thinks about those of us who practice CLW, and the second that someone uses it against you, it's best just to shut up and make the other person look like an idiot for making it all up. My case has taught me that AP is frowned upon because attachment isn't important to the courts. I know that I should be weaning and not sleeping with my 13-month old, so that's what the court believes. Frankly, I plan on not telling anyone that I will CLW, because I know that it just looks bad. Letters aren't going to help. Spending tens of thousands of dollars on expert witnesses may not even help.

Good luck, OP. I expect one day to be in your shoes.


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## NoliMum (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoddessArt* 
I can live with the new contact schedule, though it will take some adjustment.

That's not the issue.

I'm upset that a judge has based her decision on my choices as a parent. Her claim is that these choices are "irresponsible" and "not in the children's best interest". In short, she characterizes me as a renegade hippie, who balks at all the marvelous offerings of the modern world... like beds, bottles, and barbies. No, my choices are not mainstream, but that doesn't make them wrong. I've also lost any power to make decisions regarding schooling, doctors etc. These are the reasons why I am so upset.

I think you are totally in the right here. Even if you are happy with the custodial outcome, choosing schools and doctors is very important. Not to mention the judge's completely inappropriate comments on your toy preferences... wtf!?!?

Wishing you the best.


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## theretohere (Nov 4, 2005)




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## Raw Vegan Mama (Jan 6, 2008)

:Sending you love & light. I can't imagine what you are going though. I do know that you are living my re-occuring nightmare.

Please keep us updated.
















from one hippie-mama to another


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## editmom (Dec 6, 2006)

I am concerned about you. Please keep us posted and please please do contact the "experts" who can help you. I would think that even if we live in a closed minded dark cultured, dangerous state that the right people can be loud enough to get this overturned.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Bumping in hopes of an update... I'm CLWing my 3.5 yo... I can't believe what you're going through! Good luck we're all pulling for you.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)




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## pranamama (Nov 6, 2002)

hope you get a chance to hang out in single parenting. Sorry you lost decision making. Has your ex picked out people yet, it kind of seems that if he hasn't given you a name and you need to go to the doctor that it is your call. Also if you don't ask him to pay, can you get medical second opinions? I think this means that your children will be given mainstream care unless your ex chooses otherwise. I would make him take them in for vaccinations. My dd always ask for a new doctor after vaccines.


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

If you appeal, would you get a different judge?

Since this judge went against the recommendations of the GAL it seems like an appeal would help.

Please hire a good attorney ASAP, mama.

Sorry you're going through this.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Oh. My. God.

That is so awful.

I hope to hear an update!


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## mama41 (Jan 23, 2008)

Oh, wow.

The thing is, others are right. Judges are not impartial people, and frankly lawyers -- which judges are -- have some of the ugliest views of humanity you'll see. They're also impatient and trained to be major a$4holes. They have very little time and tend to cut straight for whatever they view as normal. I cut back, for instance, on requesting visitation exceptions for a whole packet of Jewish holidays, because I live in a place with very few observant Jews, and nobody's heard of any Jewish holidays but Chanukah (which isn't a major holiday). My lawyer was convinced the judge would believe I was either in a cult or making things up to manipulate the visitation schedule.

You must be realistic about these things, and recognize that you are in the court of public opinion. Ask yourself: Is it worth ceding custody to BF a preschooler? At what point do courts and protection agencies view it as abuse? There's no point in talking about what goes on in other parts of the world, because you don't live there; you and the children live here.

An appeal will not center on whether or not the judge was biased personally. An appeal will center on whether or not her decision is legally defensible and falls within reasonable legal norms. How she got there is not the appeal court's concern. So -- as unfair as it may be, try to put the loss out of your head, and concentrate on what you need to do to win an appeal. Assuming, of course, that you think the appeal is a good idea beyond the legal custody issue.


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## forestrymom (Jul 13, 2006)

Have you researched the LLLI website? While I agree that weaning, for the sake of you getting custody, might be in order, its not right. I certainly would go to every length to fight this--but not if it means you can't get custody back. Its bu!!sh!t! I'm so sorry, Mama!!!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sheilajolene* 
Frankly, we all know how mainstream society thinks about those of us who practice CLW, and the second that someone uses it against you, it's best just to shut up and make the other person look like an idiot for making it all up.

Yes, but if the OP had acted like or said that her ex was lying -- how would she have looked if her 4yo had told the GAL otherwise? Yes, I realize that this GAL is in the mom's favor -- but could the mom really be sure of this in the beginning?


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

so sorry


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## MichelleAnnette (Aug 20, 2006)

I just want to say that my father did the same thing to my mother. I nursed until I was 5, was unschooled, not vaxed, co-slept, etc. I was not taken from my mother until I was 10 so it was a little less traumatic but by that age, I figured out my father was a bad person and threatened to take him to court if he didn't give me back to my mom. I went back to my mom.

I wish I had some advice.


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