# Swimming Lessons - 4 year old will not put her face in the water



## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

I thought I'd see what the MDC community had to say on this, I'm wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation, looking for some ideas and reassurance too probably.

DD is 4. She is shy and takes a long time to warm up to people and new concepts - she is also strong willed. Which means if she doesn't want to do something, its very hard to get her to do it. This summer is the first summer we've really had access to a pool. We had a pool in our complex when she was 1&2 years old, but it was in Seattle and since I had a baby too, so going without DH didn't work well and seattle tends to be chilly, we didn't go that much. Last year, when she was 3, we went to a big pool maybe once or twice, otherwise we just did baby pools in our backyard.

So she has never had swim lessons. We joined a swim club this summer and I signed her up for the swim lessons, lowest level. The problem is that the lessons are mostly beyond putting your face in the water. They want the kids to jump into the pool, bob, blow bubbles. DD will do none of this. I went into the pool with her for the first 4 lessons. I tried leaving her alone for one (was just out of eyesight with DS at the baby pool), she didn't cry or get horribly upset, but she spent most of that lesson with her head in her hands refusing to look at the instructor (this is what she does when someone she doesn't know talks to her). I figured she just needed more time to get used to the whole idea, that we'd keep going to the pool, I'd do the same techniques the instructors were doing with her, figuring by the end of the summer she'd be willing to do more. I also got her goggles, which she wore a couple times, but didn't seem to make much difference.

Well, summer's pretty much over - the pool closes next weekend. She still doesn't do anything more than jumping from the steps or wall to me if I am holding her hands. The one time she got her face wet (accidentally) she did fine - didn't take in any water, held her breath, but went screaming for a towel. The problem as I see it is that until she is willing to put her face in the water, she is at a standstill for learning to swim. I'm concerned that I let her go too long without swim lessons, if she had learned younger she would be more willing and that she's influencing her brother who also will not get his face wet and runs for a towel - I think because he sees her do it and figures there must be something to fear from it.

We joined a family fitness center that has a pool. I plan to keep taking her swimming all winter. They also offer swim lessons - $120 for 10 30 minute sessions. I've seen the lessons in action, the setup is a little different from the lessons she had at the outdoor pool - first off she can't stand in the indoor pool - the water is too deep. They have the kids wear bubble things on their backs and use these things that look like barbells, but with foam on the ends. The problem is, I'd have to drop her off and leave, I don't think they let parents stay, and that means that if she doesn't like it, I could have a huge fight on my hands every week. She does fine being dropped off places, she goes to the daycare in the gym without an eyelash blinked, goes to montessori school, etc. She is just the type that when she doesn't want to do something, she will not do it and she will let the whole building know that she doesn't want to do it to boot.

Okay, I'm writing a book. I'm just wondering - has anyone else had a child reluctant to put their face in the water? How did you help them? Any advice - should I just keep sending her to swim lessons?


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Step one in learning how to swim is just getting comfortable in the water. The fact that she'll jump from the steps or wall to you while you hold her hands is great- it means she's getting comfortable in the water!

DS had swim lessons for the first time this summer. He's 5 3/4. By the end of the lessons (4 weeks) he was bobbing and putting his face in the water. At the beginning he was not. One of the other kids in the class (newly 5) was much slower to warm up. His mom was in the water with him for most of the lessons. I'm not sure if he was comfortable getting his face wet at the end of the session or not- they signed up for 2 more weeks of lessons than we did.

Your child is only 4- give her time! It sounds like the "level 1" at your pool is equivilent to "level 2" at our pool. And the minimum age is 5 for swim lessons here.

Next summer, sign her up for level 1 again. She'll do a lot of maturing in the next 10 months.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
Your child is only 4- give her time! It sounds like the "level 1" at your pool is equivilent to "level 2" at our pool. And the minimum age is 5 for swim lessons here.

Actually all the four year olds are in level 2, which is where they wanted to put her and I put her in level 1 - this is the level for 2 & 3 year olds. And all the other kids were doing all the stuff in the lessons other than my kids. Mine were the only ones who wouldn't put their faces in the water and DS at 2 is willing to do more than DD at 4.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

I'd just skip lessons and do family swim a couple times a week. DS HATED lessons, never trusted the instructors etc so he quit. He said he just wanted to swim on his own and with me. So we started going weekly during the day time and before long he was swimming on his own and really loving it. He's very comfortable now and loves jumping in, going under water etc.. Another friend of mine had the same experience with her son. Some kids just aren't lesson kids and do better on their own with someone they love and trust.

There seems to be such a rush to get kids to do everything earlier now. I grew up spending my summers on a lake and was in the water with my parents from birth on, as were my friends. None of us started lessons until we were 6 or 7 and three of us advanced quickly enough through them that by 14 we were done and had to wait two years to take our life guarding certification. From birth - 6/7 we were just having fun in the water and getting comfortable and taking risks (putting head under water, jumping in etc) as we felt ready (or by accident, lol) so when we started lessons we had the basics down and wanted to learn to really swim. Your daughter doesn't need an instructor to teach her to play in the water, she already knows how to do that. I'd just let her explore it with you on her time and let her know when she wants to learn more she can head off to lessons.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

I wouldn't push it AT ALL.

Not one bit.

Go with her (not lessons) and play games, have fun, relax about it. When she warms up she'll be fine.

I taught swimming lessons for YEARS and, honestly, it just doesn't matter that your 4 year old isn't a good swimmer. Or even won't put her face in the water. I would be more concerned with her getting truly scared, or seriously adamant about not putting her face in the water.

You can always do songs like Ring Around The Rosie or Motorboat, Motorboat to encourage her.

Some kids decide to get their faces under when they get those sinking diving toys so they have to reach for it.









I really just wouldn't worry! DD started swimming lessons at 4.75 and it was so scarry for her she stopped immediately. A year later she was totally read and less than three years after that she was asked to be on swim team. Looking at her and her friends now (7-9 year olds) you really can't tell who would swim around at 3 and who didn't really start until 6.5.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Yes. My son has sensory issues so getting his face and head wet was a HUGE deal. If he even got water splashed in his eyes he'd scream and cry and freak out.

I decided that I really could care less if he ever puts his face in the water, I just wanted him to be comfortable in the water and have fun. So last year we bought floaties and let him swim and play around with the confidence that his face would be above water.

As he got comfortable, he started branching out. By the end of the season last year he was jumping off the wall to us, but we had to be sure to catch him and hold his head out of the water.

This year we've been going to the pool on a regular basis and he decided on his own he was ready to jump in by himself. He just recently started swimming all around without his floaties and will happily put his face underwater!

All it took was time and letting him get comfortable on his own. You certainly can't force (or wouldn't want to force) a child to get their face wet or jump in when they are not willing. So my advise is to just let your dd play and go at her own pace. You may be suprised at what she eventually does on her own.


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

DS is five next month. Last year (so just before 4), he repeated level 1 two times, fussing on and off the whole time but with a great, patient instructor who recognized that they'd just work together on making DS more comfortable. By fussing, I mean being obstinate, occasionally crying, refusing. When DS refused, he was allowed to opt out of that part.

This year, just before 5, and we'd lost any ground we'd gained last year, he completed level 1, and almost completed level 2. He went from feeling that getting the tip of his chin and the tips of the hair at the back of his head was "getting his head wet" to body surfing at the wave pool. The only elements he didn't complete this go round, and he would have in 2 more lessons I'm sure, is comfort jumping in independently and back floating for the full 3 seconds. This year, it was a new instructor who was _perfect_ for DS. The right balance of reassuring and firm (DS is head strong, lol). She'd say to him "It will be okay...go ahead...yes! see, I told you it would be okay!" He loves being in the pool now.

If this year's instructor hadn't been a good fit with DS, I would have taken him out of swimming. Based on the amount of lessons I've now observed (daily lessons for a month, two kids), there is a wide range of kids' comfort and skill in the water. I personally think it's far more important that they're comfortable in the water than that they're "skilled." I think the panic of water aversion is worse in the long run, and that early lessons should emphasize comfort and fun.

DS has sensory issues, and water is a biggie, along with things touching his head/face. I have noticed that he made huge shifts at 4.5 and I see one happening now. If a child isn't ready now, they might just be in 3 or 6 or 12 months. The lessons the two sites you discuss offer seem intense to me. And $120 seems steep!


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Just so everyone understands, I was not at all considering pushing her to do anything, I want to help her move past this, not push her to do it. So I'm looking for advice on how to best do that, to help her be comfortable with it. I don't need to be convinced not to push her, trust me, I've already let her drop out of one set of swim lessons, I'm not pushing her.

And I'm not concerned about whether she has amazing swimming technique, but most of her time around water is consumed with making absolutely sure she does not get her face wet and it does get in the way of her enjoying herself, so I want to help her move past that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
I would be more concerned with her getting truly scared, or seriously adamant about not putting her face in the water.

I don't understand, because this is my daughter, she is adamant about not putting her face in the water.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
Yes. My son has sensory issues so getting his face and head wet was a HUGE deal. If he even got water splashed in his eyes he'd scream and cry and freak out.

This is exactly like my DD.

ETA - the swim lessons she took were focused on those things, but the instructors (just high school lifeguards who have taken trianing) were very good in that they were very patient and not super pushy with DD, so I wouldn't say they felt 'intense' to her - she just didn't make any progress at all.


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## P-chan (Jan 23, 2004)

We did swim lessons this summer, and my son did not want to put his head/face in the water. The teachers were OK with it, and would encourage but not press too hard.

Then we got goggles, and it made all the difference in the world! He now willingly bobs himself under, and retrieves objects, and will go underwater to "wave" at someone else under water. (Not swimming yet, though!)

So, ditto to everything about not pressuring her, but goggles might help her get over the hump.


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## marieandchris (Jun 6, 2005)

My son was exactly like that LAST summer (when he turned 4) ... he is now swimming, face in water...HOW? A full year of one on one private swimming lessons. I feel the investment is a good one.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marieandchris* 
My son was exactly like that LAST summer (when he turned 4) ... he is now swimming, face in water...HOW? A full year of one on one private swimming lessons. I feel the investment is a good one.

Unfortunately, cost wise I don't think this will work for us, we are already stretching our budget to belong to the indoor pool (but its good for all of us and DH and I need a gym). I'm curious though - how often did you do the lessons?


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
I really just wouldn't worry! DD started swimming lessons at 4.75 and it was so scarry for her she stopped immediately. A year later she was totally read and less than three years after that she was asked to be on swim team. Looking at her and her friends now (7-9 year olds) you really can't tell who would swim around at 3 and who didn't really start until 6.5.

Yeah, that. DD didn't complete lessons at 3, then she started again at 6. At 8, she and her peers all seem to be in level 4 or 5. We know lots of kids who got stuck at level three because there are lots of skills (strokes) and stamina required. DD's now a bit of a fish, her strokes are very good, and she just needs to work on stamina. I watched her at public swim last week along with 5 friends from school, and they were all around the same place.


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo* 
Just so everyone understands, I was not at all considering pushing her to do anything, I want to help her move past this, not push her to do it. So I'm looking for advice on how to best do that, to help her be comfortable with it. I don't need to be convinced not to push her, trust me, I've already let her drop out of one set of swim lessons, I'm not pushing her.

And I'm not concerned about whether she has amazing swimming technique, but most of her time around water is consumed with making absolutely sure she does not get her face wet and it does get in the way of her enjoying herself, so I want to help her move past that.


Ditto trying the goggles. DD insists on wearing them. DS won't and has just progressed without them (he hates the feeling of the goggles more than the water, I guess).

What about just doing family swims that her comfort grows at her own pace?


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

I would do as follows:

Make sure the pool is warm and use something like the Warm Belly Wetsuit www.warmbelly.com. Indoor pools can feel cold to children. You will have more fun if you can stay and play at the pool for 1+ hours than if you do all that pack up and travel just to have her start shivering in 20 minutes. Any pool with lap lanes will probably require a wetsuit. Some indoor pools we go to in the winter require full wetsuits, unfortunately. We're not swimming laps after all.

Get her some good fitting goggles and get her habituated to them. When she's comfortable swimming, she can decide when she wants to wear them. But they will encourage her to put her face in for now.

Find a friend with young swimmers and tag along with them. Children can be inspired by their friends.

Even if you don't think she's making progress, she is absorbing. My daughter is a cautious type and she's sometimes slow to try things but suddenly does them quite well almost from the first try.

Go at least once a week. Go several times a week if you can.

Lessons are good for stroke development in kids that need structure to work on something like that, but casual, fun swimming can develop naturally without instruction in the young.

It is a lot of work. For young kids to be good swimmers, it's a lifestyle. I know it's worth it when my 2 & 3 year olds are playing independently at the pool while I watch them, delighted that they are not squabbling or trashing our house.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

This is all great thanks. I will probably go with my initial plan of just bringing her to the pool every week then and not worry about the lessons for now. I don't think she'll have a problem with the pool temp, my kids are pudgier for lack of a better word and are rarely cold even on chilly days - the indoor pool is heated too. She has goggles, but after the initial interest, hasn't shown any interest in wearing them.

What do you think about various floats? It wasn't an issue this summer as the outdoor pool does not allow any toys or floats (I think for safety reasons, there are tons of kids and they don't want parents walking away from a nonswimmer because they have a floatie). But the indoor pool does not have a lifeguard, parents have to watch the kids, which is fine by me anyway, I am always in the pool with them, but they do allow floats and things. I'm wondering what kind is best? DD definitely feels most comfortable in a ring, which is what she used when we were at the lake this summer, but it doesn't really encourage her to swim swim, so I'm wary of using one in this case. They have kick boards and those dumbbell things, as well as noodles at the pool, they also sell those bubbles - they strap around the waist and have a balloon like thing on the back to help the kids float.

I'm just wondering what would be best? This indoor pool is over her head (4 feet) so she will only be able to stay on the steps without any flotation. Thinking about it now, I'm thinking I might make DS wear his life jacket when we go just the three of us. What kinds of flotation did your kids learn best with?


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## pigpokey (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo* 
What kinds of flotation did your kids learn best with?

Well, I would say none that strap on. They will inhibit actual swimming. Let them use noodles and kickboards and things they hold on to.


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## AuntNi (Feb 26, 2003)

mightymoo, thanks for asking about this. I've learned a lot just lurking.

I've had the same concern as you: that I waited too long to get DD in lessons. She went to daddy & me water lessons when she was one, and did great! I took her out in the dead of winter, and by the time she went back at two, she started having panic attacks and it was horrible. We pulled her out after two sessions of screaming. Now she won't even consider swimming lessons, and she's 5 1/4. I kind of wish I'd kept her in the baby lessons straight through, because she honestly LOVES the water - she just hates the lessons.

Just the past couple weeks, DD's become willing to put her face in the water. Why? Because a mom she knows from playgroup encouraged her to. Who knew?







Unfortunately our pool is closing next weekend. I decided to sign us all up at a rec center in a neighboring town with a really nice indoor pool. That way, we can all swim all winter, and she can keep building on her progress instead of starting over at square one next summer.

Reading all these responses makes me feel better my DD's not the only one who's not a "lesson kid."


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

My mom took me to swim lesson when I was a kid. She took me out though. I hated to go underwater to get the locks off the bottom. The pressure was just to hard on me. I also couldn't float they way they wanted.

I spent everyday as a kid playing at the river. I swam well enough to keep my head above water. And no I didn't wear a life jacket.

Never became a good swimmer till I was a senior in hs. I had a PE teacher who was very observant thankfully and saw I couldn't float nor could I handle water pressure. So she taught me one swim that would work well and had a private teacher just for me who taught me to work with my problems. Needless to say I blossomed under such care and got an A.

All of that so say some people cant swim the same as most people and they need specialized care.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

My 7yo still won't put his face in the water and cries at the thought of swimming lessons (though he's happy to splash in the pool).

We don't push it, don't make him take lessons. We figure when he's ready to learn, he will. And it's not like we live on a houseboat and he needs to know how to swim.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo* 
What kind of swim aids?

My 2.5 yo used her floaty suit and a ring. Then after awhile she ditched her ring and just uses the floaty suit.

The floating suit does not hold her upright so she has to work to stay upright.

She swims all over our pool with that thing on. She even jumps with it on


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## insahmniak (Aug 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AuntNi* 
Just the past couple weeks, DD's become willing to put her face in the water. Why? Because a mom she knows from playgroup encouraged her to. Who knew?









My 4 y/o dd wouldn't put her head near the water, no chin, ears, nothing. We found the most awesome teacher this summer and went 4 days a week (I think repetition is great) and when I saw how well it was going we just kept signing up for more and more sessions. Now she floats on her back pretty much indefinitely, does Superman swims from the steps. Independently rolls over front to back and back to front and is now learning to glide on her side.

My feelings about what worked: the personality of the instructor made all the difference. She was a coach, a mom, and was also very experienced and professional and approachable and upbeat - just amazing. There were three or four preschoolers to this one teacher, and there was never any crying, ever. Nothing was forced, ever. It wasn't an overcrowded noisy pool. It was heated fairly well and they also used warmbelly suits and goggles. They mixed things up a lot with fun stuff and challenges and then more fun stuff. And they always ended happy.

As far as cost, we paid $10/30 minutes, which I think is very reasonable considering the progress she made. I'm so relieved that dd doesn't freak out anymore about getting her face wet. And I'm thrilled that this thing she didn't like before has become something she feels really good about.

Were you happy with the coaches? I'd first of all make sure that you're nothing less than thrilled with the instructors - you can ask to observe before signing up. If you adore the coaches and she's still not responding, then I'd take a break and just play a while longer. Swimamerica is the program our coach uses, and I think they have a directory of coaches on their website. There might be one near you. Ours let us come for an introductory session where I could see them interact and she gave me her take on dd's water-shyness. Isn't that great service?!


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Another thought, having your own pool really has helped my dd's. They can go out whenever they want.

My #3dd didn't like to go for awhile if Daddy was out there but would go with her oldest sister. Her oldest sister could get her to do things nobody else could.







:


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## HeidiAnn67 (Jun 12, 2007)

All 3 of my boys were born with a fear of "pools". The oldest 2 didn't learn to swim until much later then the "norm" (and my oldest son almost drowned because of it). With my now 4 year old I didn't want to wait and have another scary incedent. He started swim lessons this summer (I signed him up for 2 sessions, so 4 weeks total). He was terrified at first and parents are not allowed in the pool area during lessons. He would scream and cry and beg the teacher to "leave him alone".

I was so torn on this. My heart was screaming "get him out of there", but my head was yelling "he needs to stay or he'll never get over his fear". I actually thought to myself many times "this isn't very "gentle" keeping him in there".

The teachers would dunk him under every lesson at the beginning. They made him jump in the pool when he didn't want to (even pulling him off the edge of the pool). BUT I must say that by the end of the 4 weeks my son was swimming to the 12 foot end of the pool (with a noodle) and jumping into the 12 foot end (not happily though). He's sad lessons are over and can't wait for next summer.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

as a swim instructor, i would say that consistency is key. most little ones that are reluctant to put their faces in the water will not do so with going to the pool sporadically. i would suggest getting to the pool at least 3 days a week, if not 5 plus days per week. keep it really light and fun, and if your pool allows them, get a few small toys that she can bring with her.

also, group lessons are really challenging for some kids. sometimes it's just too hectic, and sometimes it's not a good match in terms of an instructor. if you can find someone to do private lessons, that may help, but again it would have to be someone that your child would trust.

i had a little boy this summer who is 5, and when we started private lessons he didn't put his face into the water. i saw him 3 days a week, and i spent the first few sessions just establishing a relationship with him, making him feel at ease, and having him learn that he could trust me and that i wouldn't make him do something scary. he is now doggie paddling across the pool, jumping into the deep end by himself, treading water, and diving to the bottom of the pool to retrieve toys. i know that partially, he was 'ready' and just needed someone to encourage him gently. hopefully you can find someone that could help you with that. by the way, we kept the lessons really short...15 minutes each time.

i also do not believe in using floaties. i don't think that they assist in the learn to swim process whatsoever.

as for being on the late side for learning how to swim...i didn't start taking formal swim lessons until i was 12 (it was never a priority for my parents) i joined the swim team later that year, was competing in national competitions by 15, got a scholarship to swim in college and was captain of the team.







so don't worry too much about your dd's age.


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## marieandchris (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo* 
Unfortunately, cost wise I don't think this will work for us, we are already stretching our budget to belong to the indoor pool (but its good for all of us and DH and I need a gym). I'm curious though - how often did you do the lessons?

We did the lessons at the YMCA. It wasn't terribly expensive. He had a lesson once a week. Toward the end of the year, in the spring, we did semi private lessons with friends (of his)...at most 2 kids in a class. The group lessons, we found, were a waste of time. He only got about 5 minutes/30 minute lesson in the water. Not enough.


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## ZanZansMommy (Nov 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
Go with her (not lessons) and play games, have fun, relax about it. When she warms up she'll be fine.









: This is what worked for us. My DD (also 4) started lessons at the beginning of August at our town pool. She was exactly as you describe your daughter. Refused to put her face in b/c she hates water in her face. I was stressed & irritated b/c I paid a lot of $$$ for this & she wasn't willing to try.

So we are continuing with her lessons but I also take her to the pool just to play. This has been the only way she will put her face in the water. And that still took a lot of time. She basically wasn't going to do it until she wanted to. She's a bit more comfortable but not much. I figure she's going to be in this Level for awhile & when she's ready to progress she will.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo* 
What do you think about various floats? It wasn't an issue this summer as the outdoor pool does not allow any toys or floats (I think for safety reasons, there are tons of kids and they don't want parents walking away from a nonswimmer because they have a floatie). But the indoor pool does not have a lifeguard, parents have to watch the kids, which is fine by me anyway, I am always in the pool with them, but they do allow floats and things. I'm wondering what kind is best? DD definitely feels most comfortable in a ring, which is what she used when we were at the lake this summer, but it doesn't really encourage her to swim swim, so I'm wary of using one in this case. They have kick boards and those dumbbell things, as well as noodles at the pool, they also sell those bubbles - they strap around the waist and have a balloon like thing on the back to help the kids float.

I'm just wondering what would be best? This indoor pool is over her head (4 feet) so she will only be able to stay on the steps without any flotation. Thinking about it now, I'm thinking I might make DS wear his life jacket when we go just the three of us. What kinds of flotation did your kids learn best with?

My DD wears her life vest when we go to play. She feels secure with it & she feels more comfortable experimenting when she has it on.


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

I wouldn't even worry about it right now. Dd did her first round of swim lessons when she was 3.5. She sat on the edge of the pool every day for two weeks without getting in the water once. Last year, she got in, but had to have goggles on to avoid getting any water in her eyes. She wouldn't go under. She was 4.5. This summer, at 5.5, she was going under and jumping in early in the summer before she even started lessons. After her very first lesson, she began swimming under water. Now, at the end of summer, she jumps into the deep end, swims to the surface and back to the wall all by herself! I see 2 year olds going under and swimming, and older kids afraid. There's a huge range of normal. With regular exposure to the pool, I'm sure that over time your dd will be just fine with water.


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## boatbaby (Aug 30, 2004)

I think not pressuring the kid while being consistent is key.

We have taken DS to the pool EVERY week, 2-3 times a week minimum, since he was 6 months old. Sometimes lessons, sometimes just to play, something he sat on the side and refused to come in. But I always tried to make it fun and let him know I was there for him. When he was in the mood -- I ran with it. When he wasn't -- no biggie, let's just splash and have fun or I swam and he sulked









He was able to go underwater before he was 2 and this summer before he turned 3 he could swim across the short end of the pool and dive down the retrieve things in the shallows. We never used floaties.

That being said, we have a neighbor with a DD the same age as DS. When the mom saw DS swimming she started pressuring her sweet girl to take off her float suit and "start working". It was an awful scene -- girl crying that she was scared, mom taking away float suit and dunking girl and saying "look at him, he's younger than you and HE swims". I gently explained that DS has been in the water non-stop for 2.5 years and that making it fun was key. The whole scene ended in a very sad way for the girl.

But the moral is... there is NO magical age for swimming. Or riding a bike. Or weaning. Or pottying. Or sleeping through the night. It won't happen in one set of lessons either. If you're able - just KEEP GOING to the pool ALL YEAR and having fun, make sure your child is warm in the pool, make sure they have something to play with, and be ready for regression if you have not been in the pool a while.

Good luck!


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## MSings (Jan 3, 2002)

I would second what Doodlebugs mom says. My son was terrified of the water from age 18 months onward. At age 4 my ds spent 2 weeks of swim lessons watching from the side without putting a toe in the water. He has refused all lessons since. We just hang out a lot at the pool. And, at ages 5-6 he has taught himself how to swim, dives to the bottom to retrieve objects and can now take breaths in between strokes even though he has no body fat and floats about 6 inches beneath the surface.

A safe place for your daughter to practice "blowing bubbles" underwater might be the bath tub.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mightymoo* 
This is all great thanks. I will probably go with my initial plan of just bringing her to the pool every week then and not worry about the lessons for now. ...

She has goggles, but after the initial interest, hasn't shown any interest in wearing them.

What do you think about various floats?

I'd keep the goggles in your swim bag and encourage her to play with them sometimes when you are at the pool. I think that for a child who is reluctant, floats can help them discover that water is a heck of a lot of fun.









I really don't care for the bubbles because they cause the kid to float butt up and face down, which seems a little backward to me.







:

I think that having fun in the water is more important than swimming, so I'd let her use a ring for at least part of the time you are there if she likes it.

My older DD loved swim lessons and learned to swim quit well when she was 3. We assumed that our younger DD would be the same way, but she was just the opposite. She hated lessons and was very fearful of water. She just kept things very mellow for her -- no lessons but lots of time playing in water however she wanted to (floats, balls, etc.). When she was 8 she taught herself to swim a bit without putting her face in, and when she turned 9 she decided to wanted to swim on swimteam with her sister. She went from not putting her face in to swimming under water to doing all 4 competitive strokes in less than a month -- because she wanted to. She had one week of expensive semi private lessons and was ready for swim team! She is now swimming 2 hours a night 4 nights a weeks and getting ready for her first meet.

When she was going through what your DD is, we bought her a swim suit with built in floaties so she could enjoy the water.







I don't think it hurt her a bit because she wasn't ready to really swim.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kidspiration* 
i would suggest getting to the pool at least 3 days a week, if not 5 plus days per week.

I disagree. My kids went swimming a lot during summers, but not at all in the winter when they were small. As they are 9 and 10 and both swim competitively now, I see no reason for the parent of a young child to have their life revolve around taking their kids to the pool (unless that is just what they want). If your kids really get into swimming, your life WILL revolve around it, but there is no reason to rush that!

I think that taking a small child to pool as much as it is fun for us is enough. I think that enjoying the water with our kids is far more important than how much they *progress*. Taking 2 small non-swimming children to a pool, esp. when it is chilly outside and you have to get them changed and totally dry, and you are lugging all the stuff back and forth, is a lot of work.

(My life revolves around swimming and my car is nothing more than a swim taxi







)


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## angie3096 (Apr 4, 2007)

I think it is totally and completely normal for a child not to want to put her face in the water when she first starts swimming lessons. I had swimming lessons at age 6 and they made me put my face in the water and it is one of my worst memories.

DD didn't want to put her face in the water at all, she didn't want to get her ears wet even (hairwashing was a challenge for a long time!) We found a place for her to get private lessons with an instructor we liked who let us stay and watch the whole time and she eventually got over it. There was no pressure, just play and patience. She's had lessons two or three times a month for 15 months now and she swims like a fish!! She swims underwater and can make it quite a ways now without coming up for air. She started at a local health club but her fave teacher (the one she started with) moved to the YMCA so we moved there too! I would just keep shopping around until you find an instructor who will work with her instead of pressuring her. And if you can't, just work on it yourself. When she's ready, it will happen.


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## kennedy444 (Aug 2, 2002)

I would give her more time and let her get comfortable at her own pace. There is no way I would push lessons or make her put her face in until she wanted to.

She'll do it when she is ready and wants to.


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## marybethorama (Jun 9, 2005)

I know a little girl more than twice your dd's age who won't put her face in the water. She has taken lessons and she does swim, she just doesn't put her face in. Her parents swear she has extra vertebrae in her neck







because she somehow manages to keep her face out when she's swimming.

I wouldn't push it.


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## allgirls (Apr 16, 2004)

My 4 year old won't put her face in the water...the teacher dunked her. No more lessons thank you very much







:

My 22 mos old will dunk under and come up laughing..different kids, different comfort levels.

I took them both out of swimming. My oldest couldn't move on to the next level because she couldn't/wouldn't put her face under water and my youngest couldn't move on because she was too young though she could do all the requirements.

So I decided it's not all that important. Swimming is fun but it's not that important. They both enjoy water fun in the backyard with the kiddie pool and the sprinkler.


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## molarmama (Dec 14, 2006)

You may want to try private lessons or semi private lessons. My son will be 5 in Sept. Our favorite babysitter is also a life guard and swimming instructor. We knew that group lessons wouldn't work because he gets very anxious with people he doesn't know, especially if he is doing something "scary". We took all the scariness out of it for him. We were also allowed to stay on the sidelines. Out of the way of course, but he didn't have to worry about us leaving. The first day he told her that he wasn't putting his face in the water. She said OK. On Friday he went under 20 times in one lesson and was VERY proud.


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

I am practically a fish in that I love to be in the water so I was anxious to share that with dd. We discussed lessons but our local pool is just too cold. By the time the lesson is halfway through, the kids are popsicles. I never took lessons either. Unless you count my uncles tossing me off the end of the dock at age 4. I did swim rather than sink and knew how to swim from that day on. I would never ever suggest that for a child. How I am not traumatized, I have no idea







Seeing as I had fallen off the dock a few times, they felt it was time I learned and just did not know better...... But looking back and watching my own dd, I do have some ideas. First off, I got familiar with water in lakes. So has my dd. The nice thing about a lake is the gradual deepening. I remember spending hours playing in the very shallowest of water. I could lay down and pretend to swim while my hands reached the ground. In this seemingly pointless exercise, I learned to put my face in, sometimes accidentally due to waves. Yes, there were tears when I got surprised by a wave and inhaled water. Dd has been through the same. But those things happened when I was playing and exploring on my own terms. Still frightening and unpleasant, but I was still willing to run back in 3 minutes later because I knew I was in control of that exploration. Dd has come a LONG way this summer. At the beginning she would not even consider putting her face in but now has learned how to do it and is quite pleased with herself. She cannot swim yet but probably would pick it up quickly if we made an effort to teach her. I have not made that effort because I like watching her learn and figure it out on her own. My point is that I would encourage exploring in the baby pools, bathtubs, and lakes/rivers/ponds rather than going for a full depth pool. That way she can take charge of her own exploration and get comfortable at her own pace.

Also, I do think floatie type things are an OK this to use. It was the noodle that made dd understand that putting her face in is part of the swimming process. They are fun and lead to further exploration. However, I do worry about the kids that I see floating off into the sunset with their water wings on and the parents how have a false sense of safety with their use.


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