# what do you call your girl child's genitals?



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I don't know what the appropriate/current terminology is. Is everyone using "vagina"? I hate the word vagina - means sheath for a sword. I love the word cunt myself, but it's way too charged for a child. Are silly/childish slang names used much? Help! What do people use for their girls' girly-bits?


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## chalupamom (Apr 15, 2002)

I've been thinking about this, too. In addition to whatever linguistic issues there might be with "vagina" it's also inaccurate - the vagina is merely one anatomical "piece" of the genital area. I don't care for "vulva" myself, I think it's accurate although not the most pleasing word in the language. There are appropriation issues with "yoni" and saying "privates" seems overly euphemistic to me.

All this is a long way of saying "I don't know". I'd love to hear some more ideas on the subject.


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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

The proper term for the outer and thus visible parts of our privates is Vulva, though there are other options from other cultures... The vagina is not visible unless someone is either WAY too close or one is seeing her midwife or ob/gyn. I always wince when I hear little girls referring to their vagina for just that reason.

Vulva is what I taught DD. Even so, it took me a bit at first to get used to how casually she uses it. But why shouldn't she? It's hers, it's just another part of her.







I love how having kids forces me to think and rethink old patterns. And we weren't taught shame either, yet still picked up to a certain extent.









We avoid slang and silly terms, though we know the kids will learn those too. One of the things DH and I learned at a parents' seminar before someone came to DD's preschool to discuss Good Touch/Bad Touch is that molesters tend to avoid kids who know the proper names for their own parts. Kids armed with information like that are more able to communicate precisely what happened: what was touched and how, etc.

Therefor avoiding slang is a method of protecting your child, and no matter how poetic/lovely/meaningful the term Yoni is, in this culture I think that constitutes slang as well. It's respectful rather than degrading, and thus better than what you're more likely to hear, but it's not the official "medical" term in English for what parts of a girl are covered by her underpants.


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## annelizabeth (Apr 20, 2004)

Perhaps this is not the PC thing to call it, but we call it the little lady interchangably with Vagina.


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## Nemmer (Sep 30, 2002)

After considering calling it "yoni" or "vagina" I've settled on calling it "vulva." This describes the part you see most accurately, and of course I'll teach all the names of different parts as they get older.

When I was growing up, we never had a name for it, because we just didn't talk about those things. So, I named it my front bum.







:


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

My daughter knows the anatomy. She accurately refers to her vulva, labia, and vagina. It's no different than saying "foot, ankle, toe, heel, toe nail".

Why SHOULD it be?

It's in making those parts so secretive, shameful and mysterious that creates dangerous attitudes toward sex and reproduction.

I have a tarot card with a naked woman on it. She giggled and pointed and said, "Look, her vagina." I calmly said, no, that's pubic hair. You can't see the vagina. The vagina is up inside of your body." "Oh!" she said... and ran off to play....


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## dnr3301 (Jul 4, 2003)

I don't mind the word "vulva" because that's what you actually see when you look, unless there's spreading involved, which there frequently is with a 3yo :LOL

When the spread happens, and she asks, well what's THAT? I answer, but that has only happened a wew times. I found the more I said it, the easier it became. She knows the words, but doesn't really use them all that often. Although she did ask why I pointed ds's 'gina down when I changed his diaper. I was a little confused for a second, then said, "he doesn't have a vagina, he has a penis and I point it down so he doesn't pee in my face" and we laughed.

It actually got a lot easier to talk about after I had another child, because she can see his genitals and we can talk about them. There was one time after he was born that she grabbed a mirror and squated over it. I said, "whatcha doing?" and she said, "I'm just looking at my butt." That kicked off a big talk, "ummm, that's not your butt." :LOL

I guess my answer is "vulva" or private parts, depending on the situation. If we're actually talking about anatomy, I say vulva, if it's a passing, "honey don't play with your private parts while we have company, that's a private thing to do." Then it's private parts. Make snese? Rarely with me,







.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

*taking notes*

Hmmm... There is something about the word "vulva" that I feel uncomfortable with... not sure why. I think it's an ugly-sounding word... probably it's that I was never taught to use vulva as a child. It seems like a technical or overly sexual word to me as a result.

I'm gonna keep paying attention to your responses...


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

We use yoni here.

We use specific if we are getting specific (vulva, vagina, clitoris...)


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## Pam_and_Abigail (Dec 2, 2002)

we use vulva. And sometimes vagina, if I'm talking about her vagina, like a big messy poo that gets up inside.
I can't use yoni, because MIL chose the name Nonnie for herself, and they're too similar!


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Pam_and_Abigail*
I can't use yoni, because MIL chose the name Nonnie for herself, and they're too similar!

:LOL

All sorts of bad jokes just flitted through my head.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

We came up with a Tamil (dh's language) word because I just didn't want my dd shouting it in public. She was verbal very early on, before she knew about private words vs. public words. So she calls it "chee-tha" and it is the word for that general female area. There are no words in Tamil for specific parts.

I'm so glad we taught her Tamil because there was a stage where she thought it was funny in the grocery store and places to shout "Mouses have cheethas! Birds have cheethas! Dogs have cheetahs!" and no one knew what she was talking about except me.

Darshani


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## Leatherette (Mar 4, 2003)

I don't find the word vagina to be emotionally charged for me. If people were referring to sword sheaths as "vaginas" regularly, or calling penises "swords", then it would. But that is an antiquated use of the word that has no relevance now, IMO. I want my daughter to use the most accurate and widely used anatomical terms so she can be safe and be an accurate reporter of what is going on with her body. She's 10 months, so it hasn't come up yet.

L.


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## Misti (Aug 19, 2004)

I don't have any daughters, so the terminology doesn't come up much -- but I use the phrase "vulva" when it does. (Like when baby boy want to know where my penis is.)

My granddaughter calls her vulva her "mousie".

FWIW


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Do you know that boys learn something like 30 words for their private parts and girls are lucky if they learn one? (OK - I'm making that statisic up, but you get the idea).

We use lots of words - some taken from the Vagina Monologues (which anyone having this discussion should see or at least read). Coochie snorker is a favorite as is yoni. But we also learn vulva and labia and vagina and clitoris. Yoni is the easiest for her to say right now (19 mos) and she does whenever I change her diaper. I want her to have a whole vocabulary in which to express herself. I'm trying to reclaim "cunt" but it feels pretty weird and charged to me.


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## ~OceanPotion~ (Apr 30, 2004)

Well I learned my lesson in this area. I didn't know what to tell Dd when she asked so I called her vagina her little self. Well she made up her own name for it and called it her parcel







. So now Im trying to teach her that the proper name is vulva. I guess I was uncomfortable as my mother had never talked to me about anatomy except to refer to my vagina as my crotch







.


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Vagina and vulva. Though I have a hard time referring to the "canal through which urine is discharged from the bladder" as the urethra. It's just so clinical.

I don't have a problem with the word "vagina". I don't know, but I'm pretty sure fencers don't refer to their scabbards as vaginas anymore. It may have meant "sheath for a sword" once, but it simply does not mean that anymore. And what if it did? That does not automatically infer a negative meaning on it. For the most part women and men are meant for each other. You could say no one should be ashamed of their sexuality, and refusing to use the word vagina would be inferring that there's something shameful about it. You could also say that if vagina does have a negative connotation, then we need to conciously take the word back, make it our own, make it a beautiful, appropriate word. Kind of like what's happened to the words "feminist" and "liberal". It's only wrong if we decide it's wrong.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

"wooshy" which was derived from the word "flush" by my 2 y.o. Before that and sometimes still "private parts."


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## Parthenia (Dec 12, 2001)

We call it a vagina, although after reading all the posts, I'm considering telling dd the difference between her vagina and vulva. We've talked about the clitoris a couple of times.
We use the correct names for male parts, too. WHile she knows the proper word for "breasts", she tends to call them nips, which is what she called them when she nursed, as in "more nip".
Before she could pronounce it, she her girls part a "giant".


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## Parthenia (Dec 12, 2001)

I have to admit that I've always disliked the word "cunt". It just sounds ugly to me, and I think vulva and vagina deserve a better sounding word than the c word. But I totally appreciate that some people can embrace it. It's still an epithet in my mind, and I won't be one to reclaim it.


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## LovinMyKids (Aug 3, 2004)

We call it a vagina. I know its not the "proper" term, but its much better than "foo foo, hoo hoo" or any other silly name for it. Of course my 2 year old calls it her Bee Jine Uh!


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## Seasons (Jun 10, 2004)

Thank goodness, *LovinMyKids*. I though I was the only mama here getting only a B grade on the Crunchy Genital Nomenclature scale.

(We use "vagina," or -- as 2yo DD prounounces it -- "boys don't have gi-nas," too, although if I'd had it to do over I'd use the more accurate "vulva." Sheesh, I thought I was doing well just by using any V word instead of "wee-wee"!)


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## HSMommi (Sep 9, 2004)

Vulva sounds like a car to me. *volvo* LOL


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HSMommi*
Vulva sounds like a car to me. *volvo* LOL

Oh don't laugh. My neighbor told me she always used proper names. One day her 2-year old was laughing in the back seat when she asked about a car. "Why would the name a car after THAT, Mom?"


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Receptionist at work was origionally from Texas. She announces over the intercom, that covers the entire giant 3-story office building,

"Attention, there is a red Vulva with its lights on in the parking lot. A red Vulva."

She got a lot of ribbing for that one.

I * can * not * spell!!


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

I am teaching DD vulva - although I do sometimes say 'cooter' because that is what DH and I have always said







LOL! She calles it either vulva or butt....but I do correct her.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Penis does not mean sword. Etymology: Latin, penis, tail; akin to Old High German faselt penis, Greek peos (from www.m-w.com)

I use vulva and vagina for proper names but for some reason my 4 year old calls it a wee wee. We never did this









Remember a knife or swoard is ruined if not protected by a sheath







Vagina was used because some one decide that what it look like. Penis was used because it sticks out like a tail. LOL

I just read this today. I think it is funny but it also brings up a point on how words are made.

_Kangroo Tales! The famious English explorer Captain James Cook (1728-1779) traveled to Australia. In 1770, his men saw a strange animal bounce past them. They asked a native Aborigine hunter what the animal was called. The man replied, "Kan-na-gu-ru."

"So the beast is called a kangaroo!" the Englishmen exclaimed. They wrote this down, and the name stuck. But what the English didn't know was that Kan-na-gu-ru means "I do not understand you" in the language of the Aborigines! ~~Bart King_


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## Sofiamomma (Jan 4, 2002)

We use pubby, which is a Yiddish term. The main reason is that I think scientific/medical terms sound odd out of the mouths of babes. Sort of like saying tummy instead of abdomen, stomach, intestines, etc. When my older one starting asking questions I gave her all the appropriate terms and she sounds just like Dr. Gray! I plan to do the same with the baby, who, at this point is mostly interested in orifices. Look out Kitty! :LOL


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## sagewinna (Nov 19, 2001)

We use vulva for the outside and vagina for the inside... My middle daughter swore she had a penis for the longest time, turned out she was talking about her clitoris!


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## *Milk-Fairy* (Jun 8, 2004)

great thread!

I just have to add my story of DH-a few months ago he was very serious and said "we need to name her private parts"

okay, I thought, vagina!

I asked what he felt we should call it, and he said "How about Bandit? Or Scout?"

LOL! the look on my face must have been priceless-it's an ongoing joke with us now


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## bec (Dec 13, 2002)

We've settled on vagina for now. When she gets a little older (or asks), I will differentiate. I have told her about her clitoris several times. And we have had the correction of vagina vs. butt conversation too.:LOL

I guess I do sort of differentiate, in that, when she wipes, I tell her to wipe outside her vagina. I should probably start telling her to wipe her vulva, but she has just gotten the concept that she has a vagina.

Bec


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## Yinsum (Jan 12, 2003)

:
Great topic and timely for me. DD is nearly 2 and very verbal. She started asking about 2 months ago and I told her vagina. So she refers to her vagina all the time. She wants a penis like her big brothers and dad (we don't make a big deal about nudity in our home) mostly because she wants to stand up and pee







Yesterday she went to pee and decided to sit saying "I have no penis, I vagina, mommy vagina, dad penis boys penis" She moped. I smiled and said vaginas are good things. I don't care for nonsense words for private parts.
After reading this thread, I think we will start using vulva. We drive a volvo that ought to make from some crazy conversation.
I read Inga Muscio's book "Cunt". I get much of what she says, but the word is just too powerful for me at the moment







You should have seen me trying to order it at the bookstore.


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## marice (May 6, 2004)

I have always used the word vulva with dd, it doesn't bother me to hear her use it in public, I like that she knows the proper terminology.

It really bothers me that like 99 percent of the population thinks vagina is the correct word. But there would never be a thread on what you call your son's genitals, it's just a given everyone knows the word penis.

Dh was just having this converstion with some women at work and he was telling them how we have taught Anisa to say vulva, and one of the women was like, what does that mean the whole thing?

So sad adult women not knowing the proper name of their genitals.


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## Parthenia (Dec 12, 2001)

Quote:

She wants a penis like her big brothers and dad (we don't make a big deal about nudity in our home) mostly because she wants to stand up and pee
Having a vulva shouldn't stop her. Doesn't stop my dd
See this thread


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## Seasons (Jun 10, 2004)

*Yinsum & Parthenia*, see also this thread:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=195239
Go, girls!

I love how my daughter, in our all-female house, shakes her head in pity, saying, "boys don't have 'ginas" or "...po-pos." "Penis pity" instead of "penis envy," don't you love it?

_*About baby-talk nomenclature*_: Po-po is our word for lactating nipples, and yes it's baby-talk, but sheesh, she's only young once -- she knows the word nipple and prefers "po-po," and I'm as charmed as the moms on this thread whose educated daughters still refer to their genitalia as "mousie" or "front bum." Hey, it's HER body; why NOT allow her the respect of naming herself and her body parts, herself?


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:

Hey, it's HER body; why NOT allow her the respect of naming herself and her body parts, herself?
That's a good point; I have not thought of it that way. I guess you have done your job if you have taught them the proper terms.

Heaven knows our extended nursers have a billion and one names for "milkies". I don't think anyone insists that their 18 m.o. say "I would like to nurse from your breasts, please."


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## Celtain (Mar 10, 2004)

She calls it her peepee. That is what comes out of it, so that is what she calls it. When she gets older I will teach her the more appropriate names for that entire area. But I also have a very verbal very LOUD babe and wouldn't want her announcing anatomy lessons to a crowded grocery store!!!!


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Great discussion!

I am loving the idea of using yoni, and then teaching names for her vulva, clitoris,etc.

I became a convert to using the word cunt myself when I read Inga Muscio's "Cunt: A Declaration of Independence". Freaked out the doula something fierce when I was giving birth. :LOL


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## nuggetsmom (Aug 7, 2002)

we use vulva and vagina, but I have to admit I like the work yoni.


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## frand (May 8, 2004)

We used vulva and vagina. I don't want my daughter having any sense that any part of her body needs a code name. I am really impressed by that comment earlier that molesters avoid children who know the proper names for their genitals. That makes a lot of sense (sadly). A child who is reluctant or unable to use the right names does seem more vulnerable to me. I just instinctively felt that my daughter should have the dignity of the right words from day 1.

This all reminds me of a great interview I heard with the children's writer and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, who wrote In the Night Kitchen, which depicts a naked boy, including his penis. He was told by the publisher that the penis had to be taken out as too many parents and libraries would object. He asked why they would object and was told that some children would be disturbed by seeing a penis in a book. And he said, 'wouldn't it disturb them more to see nothing?'


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## Yinsum (Jan 12, 2003)

Seasons thats a great picture. DD is sitting on my lap and taking notes.







she tries standing straight up, but most runs down her leg.

I have to share this story. When dd was born the lactation consultant thought she would tell us a few more things about baby care. And I quote "when you clean her TWAT- T- TWAT







dh and I didn't know what to say. We couldn't believe our ears. Was she serious? That was not a pretty word to me.


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## RBinTEX (Apr 16, 2004)

I've never heard the word yoni before in my life. Where have I been? I had no idea I had a yoni. I'll have to let my husband know. It will be fun to find a new part after 16 years of marriage.

One friend of mine has a "pocketbook." I've always wondered if her husband was a dime or a silver dollar.


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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

Quote:

This all reminds me of a great interview I heard with the children's writer and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, who wrote In the Night Kitchen, which depicts a naked boy, including his penis. He was told by the publisher that the penis had to be taken out as too many parents and libraries would object. He asked why they would object and was told that some children would be disturbed by seeing a penis in a book. And he said, 'wouldn't it disturb them more to see nothing?'
Yes it would, Maurice Sendak is correct. Decades ago I read a cute story in Reader's Digest about an anatomically correct statue, in Germany?. Parents complained, so the statue was redone and the offending part became a bronze blur. {exact words from the report: bronze blur} The children freaked out so much that the statue was restored to his former natural glory.

Quote:

Hey, it's HER body; why NOT allow her the respect of naming herself and her body parts, herself?
I can see this on a certain level. But if she cannot communicate to anyone outside her immediate family, how can she tell the doctor or police (Goddess forbid the need ever arise!) exactly what was touched? How will she make it clear to them that some bad touch happened if she's not using words that others can clearly recognize the meaning of? Communication isn't about self-labelling. It's about being able to convey meaning to OTHERS. Please, at least teach her to use both.


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## magnoliablue (Dec 29, 2002)

All three kids know the proper names for everything, but somehow we began using nicknames anyway. My dd calls her vagina her cootchie or bootsie, and the boys called their penises their pee-tails.


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## Mama K (Jun 7, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **Milk-Fairy**
great thread!

I just have to add my story of DH-a few months ago he was very serious and said "we need to name her private parts"

okay, I thought, vagina!

I asked what he felt we should call it, and he said "How about Bandit? Or Scout?"

LOL! the look on my face must have been priceless-it's an ongoing joke with us now
























:


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## Mama K (Jun 7, 2004)

Maybe I am just dumb or something, but what is the background on the word yoni? I have never heard it before...







:


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## Yinsum (Jan 12, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *foster_sk*
Maybe I am just dumb or something, but what is the background on the word yoni? I have never heard it before...







:

You are not alone I'm curious, too.







:


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

"The sign of the yOni was meant to convey the shape of the external female genitalia, which the ancients clearly recognised as the seat of female sexual power. Tantrics viewed that power as the source of all creative action. Far from describing female sexuality as "passive" in the Western manner, Tantric Hindus regarded female orgasm as the energizing principle of the universe."

http://www.yoni.com/

the word 'yoni" means "scared place"


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## Mama K (Jun 7, 2004)

Ooooh... Thanks for the info!


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

We call them "girl parts" for now. IMO, "vagina" is an inexact term - i.e., usually when she talks about them, she's talking about her external genitalia. And I know, feel free to flame, but I can't handle my 2 year-old baby girl talking about her "labia".









All in good time. I'm sure by the time she's 4 or 5, she'll know ALL the right names for each part. For now, she know's "girl parts" and "bumkin" (for "gluteus maximus"







) and ds knows he has a "penis" and a "bumkin".


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## Yinsum (Jan 12, 2003)

ok I'm learning a lot here. I like vulvabecause its more encompassing. But Yoni ( how is that pronounced?) meaning sacred space- I really like the implications of that. Now I'm torn.


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## mocha09 (Jul 6, 2003)

We use vulva for the outside, and all the correct terms for the inside.

Also, on a particulary feminist day, I looked up vagina in the Oxford English Dictionary, mainly because of a thread about vagina meaning "sheath for a sword" mentioned here at MDC. Turns out, the first recorded use of "vagina" was as a body part (1682), not as a sheath. Sheath turned up a while later (1713) and was used in that sense for only about 100 years.

I can't link you to the OED because it is only by paid subscription, but I can link you to my blog entry which details the entire history of the word vagina.

The complete history of the word "vagina":

*link removed*


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## teachma (Dec 20, 2002)

We've used vulva with ds when referring to female genitalia...but he has always called it a "Volvo." Now that we have a baby dd, we will use vulva to describe her parts, and maybe she'll get it right!


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

mocha09, thanks for the link to OED, that was facinating!


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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

Here's another aspect for you all to consider. This occurred to me after seeing a video at our parent orientation for the Our Whole Lives class for DD.

We teach our kids the names for their parts: arms, legs, cheeks, eyes, ears, nose...
Those don't generally get nicknames or said in hushed voices.

Why are the private parts treated differently?

We also don't "let" them name their own other parts. Why are the private parts treated differently?

We also, unless we're teaching them in more than one language, do not go to other cultures or languages to name those parts. Why are the private parts treated differently?

Nor, I notice, do we go to other languages for our son's parts. Why are our daughters' parts treated differently?

It's a matter of being forthright and upfront and honest IMO. Secrecy, and going to lengths to find other names, nicknames, foreign names, etc only adds to the impression that there's something different, wrong?, off?, dirty? about those parts.

It was quite an eye-opener to see a little girl saying that some people don't like to talk about those parts, but that they're just parts like any other body part.


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## myjulybabes (Jun 24, 2003)

Hmmmm, I guess I really should go with vulva, since it's more accurate.

Right now, she knows vagina and oonie and uses them interchangably. Oonie was a word a friend and I used and she picked up on it.

We also use both "correct" and slang terms for ds's penis too. It's either penis, or pee-pee.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Meiri those are all really good points, especially about making up names (e.g., peepee) and using words from another language (e.g., yoni).

Food for thought...


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## bec (Dec 13, 2002)

I just wanted to add that we have the Maurice Sendak book, and the little guy's penis is in the illustrations. I remember being impressed with it when I first read the book, and thinking that it made total sense.

Bec


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## frand (May 8, 2004)

Meiri - great points, I totally agree.


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## Seasons (Jun 10, 2004)

*Meiri* says,

Quote:

But if she cannot communicate to anyone outside her immediate family, how can she tell the doctor or police (Goddess forbid the need ever arise!) exactly what was touched? How will she make it clear to them that some bad touch happened if she's not using words that others can clearly recognize the meaning of? Communication isn't about self-labelling. It's about being able to convey meaning to OTHERS. Please, at least teach her to use both.
Good points. Yes, I've taught my daughter correct names (even, after mulling over this thread, "vulva" where we'd before just used "vagina"), and will continue to do so. But additional use of her chosen body-part "nicknames" isn't harmful, I think -- and espouses a kind of self-love (you only nickname people or loveys that are meaningful to you, right? which is why every nursing child here has at least one nickname for their favorite snack?) I don't want to quench. Thanks!


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

We call it her vulva. I had a hard time making myself say the word because my mother called it a tu tu! Imagine my shock when I heard someone talking about their ballet attire!







My daughter is 22 months and its so cute when she says it. She'll point and say, "what's that? my bulba?"


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## Meiri (Aug 31, 2002)

Quote:

But additional use of her chosen body-part "nicknames" isn't harmful, I think -- and espouses a kind of self-love (you only nickname people or loveys that are meaningful to you, right? which is why every nursing child here has at least one nickname for their favorite snack?) I don't want to quench.
Sounds like a reasonable approach to me.









When it comes to nursing, we've done the same. She knows breasts and nipples, but when she wants to nurse, it's Onnee.









And I also know very well that once they're in school or otherwise around other kids, they will pick up other words.


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## Calm (Sep 17, 2004)

We call it a fanny, because that is what it is in Australia (we live in Oz mostly). But due to confusion in the States with a butt, we had to revert to vagina. I have even explained the bits and pieces it is made of, so she probably knows more about her body than many 14 year olds! (she's two and a half).


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## simcon (Jul 31, 2002)

We call it "vulva" too, but Maddie has affectionately nicknamed it "vulvie" and uses the terms interchangeably...and sometimes it sounds a bit more like "bulbie" :LOL Apparently piggy-banks have "vulvies" too. (FWIW, we don't do baby-talk or the "ie" thing to her, but everything Maddie particularly likes she calls "-ie" (rockie, etc...)


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## moonshine (Dec 5, 2002)

Oh, this thread has made me laugh.

We use vagina. While I know, anatomically, that is not completely accurate, it works for me. If we get into further discussions about specifics, we willl use more specific names. But for my 2 y.o., that is probably enough. Especially, as I could envision teaching her the different words, and her asking me all the time (as she does with everything else at the moment), "Mama, is this my vagina ('gina)? Is this my vulva?" countless time throughout the day. As it is, she is randomly announcing who has what body part -- does not matter where we are, who is around, if we know them or not. Ex: As we are walking home from the park -- "Look Mama, there are two big boys. They have penis." On the phone: "Hi, Omi and Pappy! Pappy has a penis!!" And of couse the same with vaginas. My mother thought it was hysterical when we were on vacation with them this summer when DD starting counting vaginas (as in who had one). I just try and not be embarressed by all of this open talk because I don't want to convey and weirdness or shame about it.

But sometimes it just is darn funny to hear.


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## zaftigmama (Feb 13, 2004)

We use the word vagina but as she asks more or ages, I'll get into more detail. It came up unexpectedly, she was referring to her genitals as her tush, which is what we call her derriere. I don't think she knew there was a difference, so we explained as best as we could. She loves to meet new people and tell them whether they have a vagina or a penis. And that they definitely have a tush, because everyone does. It's the one time I'm not thrilled that her speech has become so much easier to understand.

My mom had a whole bunch of dumb slang words, and even though I knew the correct terms, I was never comfortable saying the word vagina, vulva, or god forbid, clitoris. It took me awhile. I don't want my daughter to be uncomfortable with the words, because I definitely think it implies we should be uncomfortable with our bodies.

At the same time, I would like her to understand that while it's fine, great even, to talk about it, maybe not with strangers. Oh well.

Take care,


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

I don't have a little girl, but plan to call it a vulva if we have one...well, I actually told Parker today that no, mommy doesn't have a penis, mommy has a vulva. He was like, "okay"

Anyways, I remember reading in another thread about this.a while back.....someone brought up the fact ( and I can't find it, but it makes sense)that sexual predators will sometimes target children who do not use the proper terms for their genitalia because it would become questionable if a child said that he/she touched her " wee wee" but if the child said, "he touched my vulva" it would be very noticable that the child knew what part of her body was touched.

Just a thought.


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

My sister had 3 girls (now ages 9, 8, and 6) and she enthusiastically...and quite successfully... reclaimed the word "cunt" with her girls. That's the only thing any of the 3 of them have ever known to use to refer to their "parts," and it's worked out quite well.


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## Foobar (Dec 15, 2002)

Vulva. That's the part she sees in the mirror. That's the proper term. I don't call her fingers something else. Why should I start a stimga with her genitals so early?

I will use vagina if her poop gets in there.


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## awnja (Sep 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Meiri*
We teach our kids the names for their parts: arms, legs, cheeks, eyes, ears, nose...
Those don't generally get nicknames or said in hushed voices.

Why are the private parts treated differently?

We also don't "let" them name their own other parts. Why are the private parts treated differently?

I get the point of your post, but...

funnybone=elbow, noggin=head, kisser,trap=mouth, dogs=feet, piggies=toes...

Uncle calls my baby's eyes blueberries. And they do look like big blueberries.









So if you think about it, yes there are nicknames for other body parts. I plan to teach her propper names, but I think its more in the attitude, comfort level and ability to communicate than in the exact term. Any police officer or doctor will understand "pee-pee."

Julie


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## MonicaS (Oct 27, 2002)

I have 3 girls. I decided before the 1st was born that I would use the proper terms. I wasn't entirely sure what they were, though. I grew up w/ my mom calling it a crotch. I couldn't say the word "crotch" until I was married. The connotation was too much for me. My mom was always walking around naked and nudity was no big deal, but saying that word killed me for some reason.
I have fallen into calling it their crotch. I want to use vulva, but I HATE that word. It is an ugly word. It just sort of gets stuck in your throat. It occured to me I should do something when my 2 yr old is talking day and night about her "cotch". I don't need yet another child to re-teach the proper terms. I am making a concious effort to use "vulva" now. My oldest is 7, and I really can't have her going through life thinking it's called a crotch. She and her 5 yr old sister have just now started asking about the specific parts. I am proud to say that I have used the words clitoris and labia and vagina. :LOL I wasn't sure I could do it.







As of yet, they are very comfortable using any term for any part. I don't want them to start developing hang ups b/c of me.

As for bfing and "milkies"(the term we use). I started calling my breasts, breasts since Cass is getting older and she is referring to every females breasts as "milkies". Last night after wanting to nurse for the umteenth time in an hour, I put her off for a few minutes. She was crying, "I want best." It was so sad, but I was impressed how quickly the new word took.


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## guylersmom (Jul 2, 2004)

I have a son, but just wanted to jump in with a suggestion. I too have a hard time saying the words vulva, penis, testicles with out some hesitation. So I started using them very casually when we are taking a bath or changing a diaper, more just to get myself used to saying them earlier so when the time comes they won't be so akward to discuss. It goes something like this in the tub







"scrub, scrub, scrubbing the tummy and the chest and the legs, don't forget the penis, and the the little testicles, a now your little bottom, scrub a dub dub" Goofy yes but it helps me get over my hang ups. And hopefuly by the time Ds can understand it will be no big deal.

Lydia


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