# Anniversary of loss date



## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

I just wanted to thank you all here for all the support. I know I haven't ventured in here for awhile. I've been enjoying life without the sadness from my loss. I just passed my anniversary of my loss and I was fine this time. It's a first for me, and I know it was because of the ritual I did a few months ago to honor our baby but release myself from the bondage of the pain. I'll never forget, (obviously since I'm crying now) but it is so nice to not have the pain be so sharp. I hope that makes sense.

Anyway, thanks to you all. I appreciate it so much. I do venture in to read and lend silent support. Sometimes, I just can't think of anything to post. I am so sorry that we all need this forum. But I'm so grateful it's here.

((HUGS)) to all that venture here.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Arduinna, December 14th will mark the 9th year since I lost my dd. It's funny, time does smooth out some of the hurt, but we never forget.

The ritual sounds lovely. It's so healing to take time to remember, greive and go forward.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you. We're always here for you.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Sorry I haven't been back sooner. I guess I wasn't doing as well as I thought.

I will be thinking of you as your anniversary comes near. How do you come to feel safe in trying again? I just can't seem to get there. I know it is more than the loss. I also have issues with my first pregnancy with dd that ended in c section.

ARG I am staring down at 40 in less than 2 years and feel like my time to deal with this and get pg again is running short.
I'll be back when I can articulate better.

Thanks


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## OceanMomma (Nov 28, 2001)

{{{Arduinna}}} One of my anniversaries is coming up very soon as well. I've only really coped with them subsequently as I've been either pregnant again or chasing around a baby. Now I'm doing both so hopefully I will be OK. Altho' I do have to exhume the baby as we are moving soon & I don't want to leave his remains behind. So that will no doubt be another challenge.

As to how I got to feel safe trying again. I don't know if you ever do. Your whole innocence of pregnancy = baby in 9 months is totally shattered. I think all you can do is realise that you do want another baby & then take it one day at a time. I was a nervous wreck for 9 months with Saffron. I'm not much better this time. I'm only 7 1/2 weeks so I'm still very much lost in the bramble thicket somewhere in the werewolf forest.

Take care of yourself


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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

Arduinna - first a ((((((hug))))))

I am sorry for your loss and there is pain I think it ebbs and flows, ya know? There are times when I am feeling the pain as if it is happening right now in this moment. Other times it's as if I am so far from the pain as far from it as the sun is to the earth. I feel these things are normal.

Please try not getting anxious about nearing 40 and TTC. Our bodies are very strong and able to conceive and carry a healthy babe to term for a healthy delivery (delivery in whatever form is comfortable for you in the moment) even in our 40's and for some women even 50 isn't too late!

I have been reading and using Rosemary Gladstar's book about herbs for women and have found it very helpful for health issues, TTC and pregnancy.

I wish you peace and blessings,
Beth


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Arduinna, you're such a dear person. I know you have so much weighing on you right now. Thanksgiving and Winter Solstic are around the corner, so I'm sure there is a lot of planning going on. This makes it hard to go through your thoughts. I find a lot of anxiety this time of year.

Can you put off the decision untill the new year? Give yourself the holiday season to be peaceful and embrace your family?

It's just a thought, but, please, know you have to make decisions that are best for you.

Please take care of yourself and know we're here if you need us.

Gently,

Jacque


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Thank you oceanmama, lamplighter and Ms mom ((hugs))

You are right the innocence of pregnancy is gone. Not like my first time when I didn't even care about the tight finances. A little concern but I never thought about loss. I didn't the second time either until I was slapped in the face with it. I guess I have been feeling so normal and not even thinking about it that it caught me off guard.

Thank you all, this time of year is so busy waiting until January is probably a good idea.


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