# Were you BFed? How long? Does it affect the support system you have?



## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

Just curious if your upbringing influenced your choice to BF...

I was EBF and self weaned at 14mo. My mom asked how long to BF and her doctor told her "She'll stop when she's ready." One day I just stopped asking for "nummies" before bed.







She said it was really hard for her emotionally, but she was SO glad she chose to let me make that choice. So I have lots of support from her to BF until he's done.

DH's mom was different. She introduced food early (like, 3mo and he got cereal) and weaned all of the kids before a year. FIL has also been heard to say that "6 or 7mo is long enough" and last night MIL was SHOCKED when I said I was considering going for 2 years. (We're for sure on a year, after that it's up to the baby)

What about you?


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## missjessicajames (Jan 23, 2009)

My mom considered herself to be pretty "crunchy" till i had a baby







She breast fed me till about 6 months and was a firm believer in the "if they're old enough to ask for it they're to old to nurse". Then I had my lo and told her that my plan was to nurse till at least one (which has now changed to two) and first she was shocked. But she did a bunch of research and called me to tell me that her research agreed that extended bfing is best so now she's super supportive.

My dh also wasn't originally supportive but has come around as well.


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## Raene (Jul 24, 2008)

I was nursed only 6 weeks...my mom claims that I had colic unless she ate plain white rice and nothing else. Not sure when she introduced solids. I have always had a lot of health problems, but I don't catch bugs/viruses much does that make sense?).

DH was nursed 6 months, no idea about starting solids, and he has lots of asthma problems, joint issues, ear infections, etc. When I tell him bf babies are healthier, he says "what about me?" and I am always reminding him that he could have MORE problems if he wasn't nursed. He rarely catches bugs/viruses...much less than me.

I think vaccines, diet, and environmental factors do have a lot to do with it, too.


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

My mom nursed me for 8 months. Not really sure why she weaned...probably lack of support to go further. She is VERY supportive of me nursing ds for as long as we both want (he's 21 months and still going strong...loves his nuh-nuhs). In fact, I first thought I'd want to wean at 2, but now i just can't imagine it and hope he never weans! lol. Well, maybe by the time he's off for college hehe.

DH's fam, not as supportive per say, but also don't tend to make any negative comments (anymore, after a big blow out...involving many things not just bf'ing).

Oh and neither my fam or dh's fam are "crunchy". We (dh and i) are just both very liberal, and after becoming pregnant and researching more "natural" ways, we are hooked on the crunch. lol That's a fun quote "hooked on the crunch" ehehhe


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## Quickbeam (Jan 6, 2009)

My mom breast fed my older sister for a year and me for six months. She weaned me abruptly because of the medication she started taking for seizures she had (out of nowhere). She was both scared of the unexplained seizures and devastated by the loss of our nursing relationship. She still tears up if you ask her about it.

She has been supportive of my nursing DS for as long as he wants, but she thinks I should night wean him b/c I'm pregnant and tired. She doesn't push it or anything.

ETA: DH's mom nursed both her boys for a year. Public nursing makes her uncomfortable, I'm pretty sure, though she hasn't said anything. Other than that, she's very supportive.


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## marrymeflyfree (Jan 5, 2008)

I was adopted at birth and never BF...my parents have been great, though. My mom has said that she looked into doing whatever she would have to do to try to breastfeed, but that it wasn't really possible since they had no idea when they would be getting a baby. They asked the social workers about this, and were told that they were not set up to do advanced planning like that. I assume that my arrival was much like my younger brother's...visits from the social workers for months, then a call out of the blue to come to the office tomorrow to pick up the new kid. I was 8 weeks old.

It's sad in retrospect, really. I found my birthmother several years ago. She had understood a bit about the bonding between a newborn and its parents, and had asked the social workers on her end to ensure that I was connected with my adoptive parents as soon as possible after the birth. She said that she was assured during the last weeks of her pregnancy that my adoptive parents had already been matched to me and that they knew I was coming, yadda yadda. Had 'the system' been a bit more proactive, maybe things could have worked out in the way that both my birth mother and my adoptive parents had wanted. The bad old days of old school closed adoptions, I guess.

Anyway, my parents have been very supportive of breastfeeding. They aren't much help, per se, as they have no experience...and sometimes little things give them away, like my dad asking over and over again if I was sure that my 1 day old daughter didn't need a bottle of water now and then. But they're great, really, and I know it's saddened my mom to see my brother's wife going to formula so quickly with both of her children (minimal breastfeeding for a week or two). She hasn't said it out loud, but I think she doesn't understand why anyone would want to FF if they have the choice - that she didn't have.

Hubby was also not breastfed. His mom was told that she must drink milk in order to make milk, and she wasn't able to do that...and she was young and had some pressure from her friends to bottle feed so that she would not be 'tied to the baby'. Of course, she was also a single parent, working full time, and living a continent away from her family. No support or help at all, so its easy to understand her situation. His family has been great though, as breastfeeding is the norm in their country. I think they have been a bit surprised that we are still BF'ing at a year, but they're not at all judgemental or funny about it.

During my daughter's pregnancy, I heard a few bad stories. One mom wanted to BF her second child, but her family told her it was gross and beneath her. The grandmother was this mom's childcare, and told her that she would not touch a bottle of pumped milk if it was brought to her, that it was dirty. It breaks my heart a little to hear such things...and when I do, I'm grateful for my supportive family. They may not know much about it, but they're wonderful and open for supporting us in it anyway.


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## Leisha (Jan 16, 2008)

I was breastfed until I was over 2, I'm not exactly sure how old I was when I weaned... I kind of vaguely remember calling it "coffeemilk" and up until a short time ago, I thought that's just what I called nursing/breastmilk, but my mom recently confessed that she weaned me by putting a tiny bit of coffee on her nipples
















Now, it sounds terrible and if I read something on here about someone doing that I would probably think "omg that's awful!!" but I actually think it's pretty funny, and I love how long my mom _did_ bf me. Because she got so much hassle about it! Her mother was supportive but her MIL and pretty much everyone else said she was harming me etc by bf me that long...

When she was still in hospital after I was born, the midwives used to laugh at her for breastfeeding me (times change... I had dd in the same hospital and it's now very very pro breastfeeding).

Anyway, I don't have a trauma from being weaned or anything so it's all good







although, I really don't like coffee







wonder if that has something to do with it









She's supportive of me breastfeeding dd for a long time, though she's not as fanatic about it as me, somehow. But very supportive though









My MIL didn't bf any of her kids including DP, and she's been asking "are you still doing THAT" and "when are you going to give her a bottle [of formula]" and "you should give her water" etc.







but I just ignore it.


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

I was breastfed for 6 months exclusive then was weaned directly to cow's milk and table food. The good old days!







My sister was nursed for I believe over a year. I believe my other sister and brother were also nursed for around 6 months.

My mother tried to "wean" my baby by filling him up with pretty good sized bowls of mashed potatoes and oatmeal because she thought going beyond 6 months made no sense and that he should be on cow's milk and table food by 6 months DESPITE all pediatric nutritional advice to the contrary. I told her breastmilk or formula until 12 months on a loop, until she let up. I think she still believes that cow's milk is appropriate for 6 mo old







:

It's funny how people can be so gung-ho pro-nursing, then when their personal "comfort" age is passed it's practically a travesty.


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## AFWife (Aug 30, 2008)

nak

Quote:


Originally Posted by *missjessicajames* 
My mom considered herself to be pretty "crunchy" till i had a baby







She breast fed me till about 6 months and was a firm believer in the *"if they're old enough to ask for it they're to old to nurse"*. Then I had my lo and told her that my plan was to nurse till at least one (which has now changed to two) and first she was shocked. But she did a bunch of research and called me to tell me that her research agreed that extended bfing is best so now she's super supportive.

My dh also wasn't originally supportive but has come around as well.

DH has said this...until recently! I said "what if it's by sign or a simple word? What if he talks early?" and it made him think

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Leisha* 
My MIL didn't bf any of her kids including DP, and she's been asking "are you still doing THAT" and "when are you going to give her a bottle [of formula]" and "you should give her water" etc.







but I just ignore it.

AAHHHH the water comments! mil won't let up about this. Because we live in a hot climate and we have central air he MUST be thirsty and need water. in her defense, her mother started it.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
My mother tried to "wean" my baby by filling him up with pretty good sized bowls of mashed potatoes and oatmeal because she thought going beyond 6 months made no sense and that he should be on cow's milk and table food by 6 months DESPITE all pediatric nutritional advice to the contrary. I told her breastmilk or formula until 12 months on a loop, until she let up. I think she still believes that cow's milk is appropriate for 6 mo old







:

BIL1 was weaned because he figured out how to unhook the nursing bra...so he was too old...and got put on whole milk


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## Vegan Princess (Jun 20, 2007)

My mom breastfed me for 14 months. My older brother and sister got formula only. Incidentally, I am much closer to my mom...she thinks that is part of it. I think she weaned me but we had just been nursing at night and in the morning for a bit before that.

DH's mom BF him 9 months (he self weaned). She BF his little brother for 4 years! I have plenty of support for breast feeding and even though I only produce about 50% of DD's needs, I plan to BF her as long as she wants...I'm sure both my moms will be supportive of this. I do plan on getting pregnant when DD is a year and a half or so and don't think I'll be able to tandem nurse bc of supply issues (I would want it all to go to the new baby)...so I guess 2.5 years is going to be DD's limit. We'll see if she even wants to go that long.

Cindy


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## greenmamapagan (Jan 5, 2008)

I was breastfed and my mother tells me I "self" weaned around 10 months (sure). I know whe gave me cow's or other milk in a sippy cup as soon as I could hold it though & they certainly didn't hold back on the solids in those days so maybe I did seem to? It's interesting though that my grandmother breastfed all her children for exactly 9 months and then force-weaned them ('cause that's the limit you know) and the age my mother gave up is so close to her own mother's (and probably her only support knowing our family history) comfort zone.


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

If I put coffee on my nipples, I think Esther would be elated.







But she _is_ the child who steals my coffee at every opportunity...

I was not nursed. My mom says she tried, but I bit her. Which is to say, she had zero help and I seriously doubt she wanted to nurse. (Her sister breast-fed all her children but one, who was sensitive to something she ate & she thought he was allergic to her milk.)

Rob wasn't nursed either. He was born back when they gave the shot to stop milk from coming in. His mother claims she had no choice (he was born prematurely), but she's said and done other things that make me think she's basically trying to cover up not wanting to nurse.

(It's not so much that they didn't nurse as that neither of them is honest about it, KWIM?)

That said, my mother is very supportive. Always has been. She was supportive when they were babies, and she is supportive with the tandem nursing a 5 year old and a 3.5 year old. I could not ask for more, really.

My xMIL is another thing altogether. Rob ran interference when we were married. Now, not so much.







: But that's OK. I gave up pretending I gave a rat's rear end what she thinks _years_ ago. (Around the same time I gave up trying to care; I'm actually pretty honest.)


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## prothyraia (Feb 12, 2007)

I latched on once or twice, then my parents switched to bottles so they could see how much I was getting (my younger siblings were formula fed from birth as well).

I was visiting my mother once when my oldest was tiny, enjoying a bath all by myself for once (hah!), and she brought him to me because he was fussing. I just stripped him down and brought him in the tub with me to nurse, and I swear my mom almost started to cry. She thinks it's the greatest thing and is a bit devastated that she missed out on it.

Edited to add: Oh, and my father was dubious when I was pregnant with my first and said we'd be breastfeeding. Then he spent five minutes with Google and called back to say "Yeah! You should do that!!!".







:


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## happybunny (Mar 2, 2009)

My mom breastfed me and my two younger siblings for about 2-4 weeks and then switched us to formula. She says we didn't "suck right" (trying to find a good English word for the German word she uses). I get the feeling that she didn't get the support she needed to work through her difficulties with breastfeeding. She used to be a nurse, so you'd think that she could have found someone to help her. I don't know how supportive the German medical establishment was of breastfeeding during the 80's and early 90's, though.

I haven't brought up my desire to ebf with her yet, but I know she thinks it's weird when babies who have several teeth still nurse, because they could bite you


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## Sarah_Lee (May 15, 2009)

yes, my mom nursed me untill I self weaned I think the last time I nursed for comfort I was like 5.


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## Evelynmia'smom (Mar 8, 2009)

Interesting thread...

My mother nursed me for 2 months and it seems like she is supportive of my nursing relationship with my dd....although, she used to make comments like..."I always gave you guys infamil too" until I set her straight...to her credit it was the 70's and "in fashion" to give formula...I think she feels guilty esp. since I have stuck with nursing and don't have plans to stop for at least another year, she will often tell me what a bad case of mastitis she had and that she had to stop..I don't think she had much support at all, she has also told me how she slipped into a depression from the feeling of loss when she stopped nursing me....it's sad. I think that's why she is so supportive of my decision to nurse my lo past a year...the only thing remotely negative she has said was..."just don't nurse her till she's 5







"
My dh's family is another story...his mother is older than mine...64 and she nursed brad until he was 2 months and was giving him cereal at 3 weeks







and claims that's what got him to sttn from that point on....right. Anyway, she is not supportive at all...in fact she has asked me about 5x how long I plan to nurse and was SHOCKED when I said longer than a year. She also doesn't understand why I nurse her on demand...she has made comments like ...."well, does she just get to nurse _whenever_ she wants to?" ummmmm if you are asking does my baby get to eat when she is hungry...yes


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## charleysmama23 (Sep 28, 2008)

This is so interesting! My Mom nursed us for a few months, I think about 4, and then switched to bottles. She had a bad experience nursing with my oldest sister (untreated/undiagnosed reflux) and just didn't have the heart for it after that. Plus, in the 70's/80's there was a lot of hype about the "miracle" of formula. My MIL nursed all her kids "until she got pregnant again" according to her. (Her kids are 15 and 18 months apart...so not a full year with the first two, but a full year with her youngest.)

I know it influenced me. I only nursed dd for 7 months and I regret it every day. My Mom wasn't very supportive of my nursing, not disparaging or outright nasty about it, but very "try formula", "oh let me feed her, you rest", etc. Dd is almost a year now and we are expecting #2 in November...I am so excited for the opportunity to put my new knowledge into action and nurse our next lo for 1+ years (def. for 1 year and then CLW with some gentle limitations/boundary setting from mama). I hope to model this for my daughter (daughters?) so she'll love nursing her lo's someday.

As a side note: my dh was nursed longer than I was, and we're both fully vaxed, but we are also both super healthy and never get sick, no allergies, etc. So even the little nursing we got seems to have done something!


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

My mom nursed me for a little over a year. My DH's mom nursed her kids for 7-8 months. They're both extremely supportive of me BFing DD -- my MIL thrilled me by practically jumping for joy when I worked hard to avoid losing my supply during an illness.







:


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## tapiocapudding (Feb 7, 2009)

I wasn't breastfed at all since my mom decided she didn't want to nurse twins. I don't think it's impacted my support though. Although she couldn't offer me any advice on breastfeeding my Mom is 100% supportive of my parenting decisions even if she does think they're weird sometimes







: My Dad is also supportive although he too thinks it's odd I intend to breastfeed past a year. He doesn't judge at all and says he thinks it's crazy that some people have a problem with women nursing in public.
DH's Mom is another matter, if I want to breastfeed at her house I have to go to a private room by myself







: She didn't BF any of her 5 kids. I have 2 SILs with babies a month younger than mine and both bottlefeed and neither of them have to leave the room when their babies get hungry. But MIL is worried I'll traumatize her 6 year old.


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## Vegan Princess (Jun 20, 2007)

I should add something. My mom is supportive of my BFing DD but when she was out at the beginning she kept getting me to supplement with formula bc she supplemented me the first month. I did end up having to supplement in the end but she really was pushing it on me before I was ready and she really upset me when I was already very emotional. DH ended up calling and yelling at her about the issue. So like a pp said, she was trying to push her own experience on me.

Cindy


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## fruitfulmomma (Jun 8, 2002)

I think my mom tried with me and the doctor told her she didn't have enough milk. I ended up on a homemade formula with goats milk. She didn't try at all with my brother because she had to go back to work and apparently the doctor that time wasn't pleased with her. She went on to bf my sister for one year. She is very supportive of me and doesn't say anything negative about the extended breastfeeding, mostly just curious questions sometimes.

My MIL otoh thinks babies should be off the boob and onto solids by 4-6 months. She bf'ed her older 4 but not my hubby because he was a lot younger than the other kids and she didn't want them to see her or something. I know she regrets it though and her dad was really not pleased with her about it. We don't bring up extended bf'ing with her.

My grandfather is really cool and has clipped out newspaper articles on bf'ing and sent them to me.


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## tsfairy (May 19, 2004)

I was BF for about 2.5 years, and most of my sibs were BF close to that long as well. Mom was a LLL leader back in the late 70's/early 80's and was pretty crunchy. She fully supported me nursing my kids until at least 2, but once DS1 got over 2.5 she became a little less supportive - nothing blatant but subtle things. She also has a head full of really outdated info and is often surprised about things I've told her about BFing.

Unfortunately Mom has never wanted to "push her agenda" on her kids (her mom died before she had kids and her MIL was VERY overbearing and discouraging of Mom's parenting) and as a result she tends to really downplay breastfeeding. For example when DS1 was tongue-tied and I was having a lot of trouble nursing and he was not gaining weight well, she kept telling me that it was ok to give him formula. She didn't majorly push it, but I didn't want to jeopardize my bf relationship so instead of giving him formula I researched and fought to nurse him and eventually got his frenulum clipped. My sisters didn't have the same drive to bf that I did and do and so their kids weren't nursed very long at all.

Out of her 6 kids and 19 living grandchildren my kids and one nephew are the only ones who have nursed past a year (one sis made it to 10 months, the rest stopped well before 6 months.) All of her bio grandkids were at least BF'd a little bit though.

Don't even get me started on MIL. She never nursed, doesn't understand it at all, loves to pass on weird stories from other people as facts, and really disapproves of my nursing past about 3 months.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

I was BF'ed for 10 months, until my mom got pregnant with my brother and her doctor told her she had to wean me.







She said I went 2-3 days without eating because I was so upset and I wanted my Mama milk!







:

She BF'ed the 3 oldest of us (i'm the oldest) for around a year, and only BF'ed my sister (the youngest) for about 6 weeks. She had a bad kidney infection from having a C-section and had to be hospitalized for awhile, and she had to stop BF'ing. She was devastated. My sister does get sick more than the 3 of us. It was the 80's and there wasn't any support for her, she didn't know anyone who had BF'ed, but she knew it was what was best (as she said, "it's common sense") and they didn't have money for formula.

My MIL was very crunchy for her time. She had 3 natural births and taught Lamaze classes. She BF'ed DH until he "self weaned" at 9 months. I am sure he was just distracted by his 2 older brothers to nurse, and she took it as self-weaning. He is a really laid back guy, so I could def see him not asking and not thinking about it really. But she did nurse DH's brothers until 20 months+!!









My mom and MIL&FIL are very supportive of extended BF'ing. My dad thinks it's weird, but knows I've done the research and is supportive.


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## MommyMichele (May 2, 2006)

My mom nursed each of us a little bit longer: my older sister about 6 weeks, me about 6 months, and my younger brother about 18 months! She has natural-minded tendencies in general so yes, that probably influenced my decision to breastfeed. I certainly read a lot and learned about it on my own as well. My parents have been very supportive of all my parenting decisions.

DH's mom never nursed and doesn't really understand, especially extended breastfeeding. FIL has made comments about my toddlers being "about done with that."

On the contrary, my oldest nursed just past 4 years. My second I encouraged weaning at 2.5 years because I got pregnant, didn't do well with tandem-nursing the first time around, and was struggling on her food-allergy diet. My son is still nursing strong at 2.5 and will have no younger siblings so he gets to go as long as he wants. (Er, well, I hope that's only another year or so. )


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## Dahlea (May 15, 2008)

I was bf for 8 weeks, and have an awesome immune system-I rarely get sick (like 1x a year tops). My husband was bf (supplemented w/formula) until 9 or so months (also was given food starting at 4 WEEKS!) and has a terrible immune and digestive system.
My kid got sick one time, had bronchiolitis but it only lasted for around 4 days (and was never that bad-and the ped said it could last 2 weeks or more). My husband has been sick at least 3 times since the baby was born, and we've never caught it. I think I'm just lucky, and passing it on to my kid!


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## Carhootel (Jul 16, 2008)

I was breastfed until just under 3 years and my dh was breastfed until he was 4! I feel incredibly lucky that we're able to pass along all the benefits of our extended breastfeeding to our son and that both my mom and my MIL are incredibly supportive.


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## liberal_chick (May 22, 2005)

I wasn't breastfed at all and neither was dh. "It just wasn't done in the 80s" said my mother. They gave her the shot to dry up her milk.

However, both my mother and my MIL are super supportive. When I was pumping for my ds1, who was premature, my mother would practically cheer every time I emerged from the pumping room.







My MIL is more knowlegable so I don't get funny questions from her about anything like I do my mother.


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## Pumpkincat (Jul 11, 2008)

I was not breastfed because it was not sexy to do so in the early 70s aparently. Mostly everyone i know who is my age were not nursed. Formula was pushed a lot. I think i would have been a lot brighter had i been breastfed. I am intelligent, but a little dim too, kwim? My mom smoked during pregnancy too, maybe that has something to do with it as well.

I nursed all of my children. My oldest, who is now 15, could only go a few weeks because the roof of her mouth is so very low, she had low muscle tone. i was only 21, she has down syndrome, and no one supported me doing it. So it did not last. I think if i had some support then, i could have gotten her to suckle well. I really regret only going a little while. My second, now 13, i went 8 months with, that was during a time when everyone was pushing me to stop at 6 months. My 3rd child, who is now a healthy 6 yr old, was nursed for 2 yrs. I knew a lot more and was far more cofident at that age. Now, i have a 14 month little boy, who i am considering letting self wean, is hungry little nurser and very attached to it. I have to say that all my children are bright, but it seems the youngest two are more so.

I hope this helps


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## Macnamara (Jan 8, 2009)

My was/is pretty crunchy. I nursed until I was about one, she said I weaned. But now, she said looking back, it was probably a strike, but as a FTM with no support, she didn't know. My bro & sis nursed until at least 2. I don't remember how long they went past that. I remember my little sister always asking to "N".

My mom and dad would probably disowned me if I didn't BF! They have been great. They support co-sleeping and cd'ing. That's what they did with us, so it is pretty normal for my family. My MIL is pretty supportive too.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

I was a bottlefed, formulafed baby. My Mother thought I was crazy when I decided to nurse my son. (HER Mother nursed all three of her babies.) But then everybody followed suit- my Aunt nursed her two children, the first born when my son was 10 months old, and my sister nursed her babies, the oldest born when my son was 5.


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## Emily's Mama (Apr 22, 2007)

I was born around 9 weeks premature in 1975 and my mother says I was "too small to suck properly", and so was put on....condensed milk and water!!! No breastmilk or formula for me, just condensed milk!

I feel a bit sad for her, even though she has never said that SHE was sad. She talks about how she was so engorged and in pain (which may have made attachment harder maybe) that they were having her pump milk for all the other babies on the ward at the time who were having feeding issues. When I asked her why she didn't pump for ME and feed that to me in a bottle, she really didn't seem to know why not. At the time they didn't really have good \pumps outside of the hospital, so I suppose with little support and no pump she just gave up. Had "the shot" to dry up her milk.

When I breastfeed DD she always seems very keen to watch. She did the same when my sister (who is older, but was also fed on condensed milk







) breastfed her kids. Was always interested. She supports our breastfeeding (baby 8.5 months now), but my dad is now asking when I'll stop. He thinks it's crazy to keep going, but has never said anything directly to me about it. If he does, I"ll just ask him which makes more sense, giving her milk from me or milk from a cow, a totally foreign animal to her if given the option? I hope he could see the logic in that!


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## emmalizz (Apr 14, 2009)

.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I was BFed, my older sister was not. We have both nursed out babies for well over a year (well, DD2 is only 4.5 months old, but I plan to nurse for longer than a year).

My mother is very supportive, my ILs are NOT at all supportive. After DD1 was born, FIL said "She's had enough of *that* now." Baby was less than 24 hours old and she hadn't even gotten any BM yet, it was all colostrum. Anyway, their 3 kids were formula fed in large part because that was the "modern" and "American" thing to do (my ILs are immigrants).

FIL tried to encourage me not to BF, but MIL has never been anything but (at least outwardly) supportive. I know in the past, well before I had children, she called BFing "icky." But she gives DD her bottles of EBM when she cares for my girls 2 afternoons a week with no fuss. My ILs are much closer geographically than my family, so we see them a lot more. But their negative BFing thoughts didn't deter me in any way. And I WOH FT and pump, it hasn't been easy and all the encouragement I could get would have been awesome.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

apparently i hated bfeeding. i would totally refuse the breast when i was two months old. my mom worked very hard trying to keep me to the breast. ultimately by 4 or 5 months i was bottle fed.

my brother bf till he was 7.








: my mom was the WORST support in bf my dd. because i come from asia. she was concerned about what people would say. rich people dont bf. and concern about me. oh you will get cancer. somehow it would affect me. considering she lost my brother i can understand her concern. i didnt even try to explain.

its just something i felt really strongly about. and i was going to do it no matter what.

mil tried gently asking me to wean when dd started daycare at 2 since she was having a hard time seperating due to bf. but let it go.

apart from my mom i dont think i have come across anyone not supporting or even supporting me. i was glad i went to LLL as it gave me the knowledge i needed.


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## dearmama22 (Oct 20, 2008)

My mom did not nurse my brother or I AT ALL. She thinks it is " so weird" that I'm nursing my son.









SHE is the "weird" one!!


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## MountainMamaGC (Jun 23, 2008)

My mom nursed me for 8 months. I wne t straight to cows milk. I weaned because she was pregnant. She didnt know she was pregnant for sometime after that. She said it was very mysterious that i did not want to BF anymore. She was at an appt to get her tubes tied when they told her she was pregnant. Then it made sense to her as to why I didnt want to bf anymore. She BF all 3 of my brothers for a year. Incidently I am the sickest of the 3. I had many infections as a child and pertussis (even though i was vaxed). I have crohn's disease and many allergies. My brothers are all fine and did not get nearly as sick.

Oh I forgot to add that my mother was a great help when I was learning to BF DD. I am still going strong and plan on BF for at least 2 years. My family is very curious about extended breastfeeding. I give them little facts about it all the time. My mom didnt know it was acceptable to do it past a year or that you could tandem nurse. She wishes she knew about that because she would have tried it.


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## spicyrock (Apr 11, 2009)

my mom exclusively nursed me until just under a year, when she says i weaned myself. i've discussed with her the argument that babies that young don't really self-wean, and she says she doesn't know what else you would call it. she says i gradually nursed less and less and she discouraged my weaning but it happened anyway. she only nursed my little brother for four months, because his father was unsupportive (we have different fathers- mine is very pro-nursing). she still regrets the loss of their nursing relationship. she is supportive of breastfeeding until two, and says she understands why people would go longer (but i think it is clear that she doesn't personally think i should go longer).

my mil barely nursed at all, she switched to formula within the first few weeks because she didn't think her babies were getting enough food. she was very thin and was a heavy smoker, so it is possible that her supply was low... but either way, she is also supportive up to a point. she did tell me the other day, though, that she thinks extended breast feeding is "ridiculous," and she is always making comments about how she can't wait until we wean so she can feed dd "because she really just wants to help me out and let me get some rest."

my grandmother has also encouraged me by speaking positively of nursing for as long as i can remember. way before i ever thought of getting pregnant she would tell me about how much she loved nursing, how it was such a special time in her life, how beneficial it was to her babes' health and how nursing helped foster a strong connection between her and them.

and yes, it is very helpful to have my family support me. whenever someone says something negative about nursing, i can call my mom and tell her and she will say (in the case of the last example), "well, i didn't feed you a thing other than breastmilk before you were six or seven months old. you don't have to listen to that advice! the longer you can wait before introducing other foods, the stronger your supply will stay."


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## javilu (Oct 20, 2007)

nak

i was breastfed until i was 4, and saw my mom breastfeed my sister (6 years younger than me) for a couple years and my two other younger sisters my stepmom breastfed until they were 2 and 3. it's always just been a very natural and expected thing. my sister (the one who is 6 years younger) is nursing her daughter right now, too.

one "downside" to it, though, is that my mom and sister had no trouble at all with nursing, while i had a lot of nipple soreness and i was sort of ashamed to admit it because it seemed so simple and easy for them. it helped when my stepmom told me she also had some soreness with her first baby and that it didn't last. mine didn't last either, and it was good to be able to talk to someone who had had a bit of difficulty, too.

i don't know if my husband was breastfed. i assume he was for a while, but i doubt it was for much longer after starting solids. i have very little to do with his family, so they don't influence me much anyway.

edit: also, my dad is a natural health nut and is super supportive of my nursing, too. i learned a lot from my parents about things like co-sleeping and not CIO, etc., by seeing them raise my sisters.


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## sunanthem (Jan 29, 2004)

My mom went back to work a week after I was born, so I don't think I got hardly any breastmilk. My granma questioned me when I was bfing, asking why not use formula? Its so much easier.
My immune system is great! Aside from a winter flu now and then, I've never been one to get sick much, and I have no allergies or other health conditions.

So my upbringing did not affect my choices or my system too much.

On dh's side, his 2 older sisters were not bf'd, but he was. His mom is a nurse, so she supported me for awhile, but after 9 months or so, I got comments, though I ignored them.


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## Mrs.aLifeofReilly (Oct 12, 2006)

I breastfed until 3 1/2. DH was also breastfed, not sure exactly how long, but at least a year.

Also, every female relative of mine has breastfed at least 18 months, sometimes more.

Breastfeeding was always the norm for me, so I wouldn't even consider FF and I was determined to make BFing work. DS breastfed until 21 months (I was hoping it would be at least 2 years) when he decided to stop because he didn't like the taste of my colostrum. I will be breastfeeding this baby as well, with a goal of at least 2 years, but happy to go longer if the baby needs/wants.


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## kalamos23 (Apr 11, 2008)

I was BF for about a year-15 months - mom said I weaned myself bc she was pregnant with my sister and didn't like the taste - there are 9 kids in the family and we are all spaced to where she got pregnant at 9m-15m excepting the youngest 2 who are closer to 3 years apart. They are the only 2 that nursed for longer than 15m apparently...

As far as DH goes, he's the youngest of 3 - MIL nursed SIL and BIL (not sure how long - probably not over a year though) but did formula for him? She said she only BF the other 2 bc it was cheaper than formula. On top of that, DH gained fast and at 4 weeks the ped. told her to not feed him more than a quart of formula (32 oz - that is a LOT for a newborn!) and to feed him apple juice diluted with water after that. Then at 4 months when he was still growing fast, the ped. told her to take him off formula and onto 2% cow's milk. *rolls eyes*

The funny thing is that DD gains even faster than DH and on BF! I will be BFing DD as long as she wants to go.


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## inky leeuhhh (Aug 2, 2007)

i was not bfd. my mom told me i was given goats milk. so not sure if that was a goats milk formula, or just goats milk







. she does not seem to have much opinion either way on my breastfeeding dd2. she can't for the life of her figure out why i would CD though, because it is "SO much work". my grandmother bf'd her i think for a few months, and then switched her to a bottle because the dr told her she didn't have enough milk. my grandma is pretty supportive of my bfing , and says to people "see how fat and healthy the baby is? it's because leah's nursing her". lol. i found out the other day that my aunt bf'd my cousin until he was 5. i thought that was pretty impressive!


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## hibiscus mum (Apr 6, 2009)

I believe me and my 3 other siblings were breastfed until at least six months. I seem to recall my mother saying that my youngest brother nursed longer than a year because he refused to take a bottle. I never felt I needed support while BFing because I was lucky enough to not have any issues, and I knew it was something very important to me. I also lived halfway across the country so neither my parents nor my ILs saw me BFing much.

My MIL on the other hand didn't BF any of her kids because FIL thought "it would be a sexual experience." (eyeroll) Whatever that means. Now that we live in the same city as them, I frequently BF my newborn son in their living room, but it seems like everyone sort of leaves the room when they notice me doing it.







I think they'd prefer if I went and did it in private somewhere else in the house, but I never bothered to ask. At the same time, MIL is very big on building healthy attachments (she's in the child development field) but I think she just doesn't quite get the BFing because she never did it herself.

This thread reminded me of something not all that relevant, but I think it's funny and sort of cute. Growing up, we kids had our own bathroom in our house. Under the sink there was a big bin full of plastic bath toys and other stuff like a hot water bottle. My mom's old breast pump somehow ended up in there too (very oldschool style with the big orange rubber ball on the end). I vividly remember pumping my "breasts" in the tub for fun, I guess since I'd seen my mom do it.


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## lee1203 (Dec 18, 2007)

I was breastfed for about a month, a little less for my older sister. Apparently my sister wasn't gaining weight fast enough, so she switched to formula. And I can't remember the exact phrasing my mom used, but I wasn't getting enough milk... I have since told her the problem - tongue tie. I suspect that if she knew that was the problem she would have had it fixed and gone longer. My sister only breastfed her kids for about a week or two. I was so gosh darn proud of myself for hitting 6 weeks because it was the longest anyone has gone in my family. 7 months now!

My husband was breastfed for a little over a year. My MIL is very supportive of nursing (although in another country so not someone I could easily call with questions). My mom is too, although she's a little more... prudish, for lack of a better word, about nursing in public. She also lives nowhere near here, so even if she wasn't supportive it really wouldn't matter. I'm just glad that I'm the first of my friends to have a baby so hopefully they see it and take it as normal (about half were formula babies).


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## Carita (Mar 3, 2008)

My mom Bfed my older sis for a few months at least, and then my Brother only for 6 weeks, and then she had to go back to school/work. She actually was going to FF, and my dad was the one who asked her to give BFing a try.

My younger and I sis came 12 years later - a bit of a "do-over" and we were both nursed over a year. She has always said she regretted not BF my brother longer. Interestingly he is the one that is least "connected" to my mom.

My mom has been super supprtive - she has looked up a lot of info on DS's dairy allergy and told me that I should BFed as long as I can because it is better than the alternatives









My MIL is very supportive - she said she nursed exclusively for 9 mo or a year or something, and weaned well after a year. DH is healthy as a horse! She was soooo wonderful in the beginning when I first has DS, and just being really motivational. She was a little surprised I was still nursing at about 18 mo - but she tries to be really nice about it.

ETA: all of this led to a great BFing environment... I never thought once about FF - the only fam member I had that FF was my SIL that is practically anorexic. So I think it has DEFINITELY influenced me.


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## heinz28 (Jun 3, 2008)

I plan to BF my daughter as long as I can.

That being said, I wasn't BF and I have one of the best immune systems I know. I also have no allergies. I'm almost freakish in my immunity so far in life.

For instance, while I was in the Army, I had to have the small pox vaccination twice because it didn't take the first time (or the second for that matter). The vaccination "takes" when you develop a blister.

I support BF 100% but I think one's general immunity level may have a lot more to do with genetics and luck.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AFWife* 
Just curious if your upbringing influenced your choice to BF...

I was EBF and self weaned at 14mo. My mom asked how long to BF and her doctor told her "She'll stop when she's ready." One day I just stopped asking for "nummies" before bed.







She said it was really hard for her emotionally, but she was SO glad she chose to let me make that choice. So I have lots of support from her to BF until he's done.

DH's mom was different. She introduced food early (like, 3mo and he got cereal) and weaned all of the kids before a year. FIL has also been heard to say that "6 or 7mo is long enough" and last night MIL was SHOCKED when I said I was considering going for 2 years. (We're for sure on a year, after that it's up to the baby)

What about you?


nak

I wasn't...birth trauma/extended hos stay/nasogas formula feeding ruined any chance of that.

But it was the catalyst that led my mom to research and commit...her other 10 kids were all ebf and clw.

I have lots of support....both fams are pro-bf or rather bf is the only option so its completely normalized...nurse in fam getogethers and don't even get a blink...even the teen boys could care less it's all normal to them.


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## phrogger (Oct 16, 2006)

I was breast fed, or at least attempted to be breast fed for 3 weeks. My mom finally gave up when I had lost almost a full pound. She delivered at a catholic hospital and didn't know there was other support out there then the nuns/nurses. They just kept telling her to give me formula. I was born by c-section and didn't see my mom for 12 hours, I had already been giving 4 bottles and my mom has inverted nipples. Not making excuses, just saying breast feeding for her would have been difficult and no one was there to help her. My grandmother never BF. When my mom had my twin sisters and I was only 2, she didn't even try. She did however make sure that we were always held very close when we were bottle fed.

So with all of that, my mom was actually jealous, but so thankful I was able to nurse or pump for every kid I have given birth too (I was a surrogate and birth mother so even those babies nursed or I pumped for them). My mom was just as sad as I was when my first self weaned at 11 months (which he really did, it wasn't a strike). And my second I had to stop early for many reasons, but I did end up pumping from 6 months to 9 months for him. He just wouldn't nurse anymore after he started on the bottles.

I am pg again and my mom is betting I will nurse for 3 years. I said no, maybe 2 if that long, but for sure at least a year. She still thinks it will be longer.

My MIL on the other hand was just asking me today what type of bottles I plan to use, when I told her none, she said "oh, you will give that up very quickly, I did". This has been on going with her since we told her I was pg. This is my husband and my first baby together and she just doesn't get that I have already done this. My former mil was super supportive and actually nursed her two younger boys for almost 2 years, but didn't nurse my ex husband because she basically had almost an identical experience to my mother.

So basically, my mom is supportive, my MIL thinks I am insane and well, I just think it is funny that MIL will have to eat her words.


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## fjernsyn (Oct 15, 2008)

I was breastfed until my fourth birthday. I think it has affected how I feel about breastfeeding. I don't have a baby yet, but plan to CLW. I know that DP's side of the family might be less supportive, but it just seems normal to me and I know I'll always have support from my mom and dad. It has also prevented any little nagging thought that BFing kids for that long will do any number of horrible things to them psychologically. Had I not been BFed so long, I might buy into that sort of fear mongering more.


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## ILovePie (Aug 1, 2008)

I can only answer for my mother through stories I have heard, because she died almost 15 years ago. I have heard she nursed me anywhere from 18 months to at least 2 years. I'm inclined to say at least two years, because a friend clearly remembers her needing to be home with me on new years because I was still nursing (my 2nd birthday would have been coming up). I think I might have vague recollections of being weaned, or at least of a sort of emotional turmoil around bedtime. But I really can't be sure whether I weaned on my own or she weaned me.

Mom was kind of a trailblazer in the family in this regard. My grandmother was supportive of her, but also (according to my VERY pro-nursing aunt) very uncomfortable for her as she nursed in public in the late '70s and early '80s.

Everyone in my family that I know of has nursed. I know of one family member who supplemented with formula after having a preemie, but I think she EBFed her other kids.

On DH's side, everyone nursed, including his grandmother.

Everyone that I know of in our families weaned by about a year, though. However, they've all been supportive or at least haven't made any comments (yet?) about DS still nursing at almost 14 months. I think they are aware that I don't have an end date in mind.

We had tremendous difficulties nursing at first, and I appreciated the stories of my family member's and the support from MIL (given that I don't have my own mother to help me, and that was a very difficult time for me. Luckily my MIL was very frank about all the post-partum stuff!). They were also very gentle in asking whether we had switched to formula after weeks and weeks of one issue after another.


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## Whispers (Feb 18, 2009)

I wasn't BF neither were my siblings. It just wasn't done back in the 70's and 80's. Formula was considered superior to BM.







However like some other people have said who have been FF I have an amazing immune system. I have never been ill except for a few occasional sniffles, I never got any childhood illnesses, allergies, stomach problems or anything like that. I also think genetics must play some part in your general health.

Dh is exactly the same in terms of general health and he was BF for 8 weeks. He was the youngest and the only one to be BF in his family. MIL said BF just wasn't done but by the time dh was born she had met a local LLL member who encouraged her to try. She gushes about how wonderful BF was with DH and he is closer to her then her other children.

Suprisingly I have found my mother more encouraging of BF then my MIL. My mother will just sit and watch me BF. I think she regrets not doing it. She constantly asks me questions about how it works and is amazed my babies didn't drink water.







MIL on the other had doesn't agree with BF beyond 2 months and she always wants to know if "he is still drinking from me". I don't pay much attention to it.


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## kalynnsmom (Dec 3, 2004)

Interesting thread!

My mom has four kids and we were bf'ed for about 6 weeks. I know with my brother, she was given poor advice and she quit. My mom is supportive of breastfeeding up to a point. I have 3 kids, DD#1 weaned at 17 months and my twin boys are still nursing at 31 months. She doesn't agree with nursing past one, because in her words "If they have to be off the bottle at one, then they should be off the breast by one". So, unfortunately, I don't have much support now.

I have also noticed that if I chose a different path, she takes it a bit personal. I chose to start solids with my boys at 7-8 months. My mom didn't understand why I chose to start that late and said "Well, I started you guys on cereal at 6 weeks and you guys are fine".


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## mjg013 (Jul 29, 2008)

No I wasn't. My mom never even considered it. It wasn't something she was familiar with in any way. My grandmother breastfed some of her children but I don't know which ones. She worked a lot and had 6 kids and was a single mom for much of it. When I had my first I wanted to breastfeed. I don't know why. I was 17 when I got pregnant and no one I knew breastfed except 2 aunts that married into the family. Once of them pumped for a year for each of her kids. It was so foreign to me and I wasn't really educated about the health benefits. It was just something that seemed natural and preferable to me. Unfortunately, I had no support. I had her in a small town and the nurses pressured me in the hospital to give her a bottle saying she wasn't getting enough to eat. I lived with my mom who knew nothing about breastfeeding but seemed the authority on newborn care to me. When I got home and my milk really came in I wanted to try again and was told that breastfeeding after formula feeding for the first week would make my baby sick. I'll always feel guilty for not educating myself more. When I met dh and we married and had my 2nd child I knew more and was away from the people who gave bad info. I was in a big city in a hospital that was very pro-breastfeeding. My nipples were bleeding in the hospital and I wanted to give up and this great nurse showed us how to use an alternate feeding system and I nursed her for 6 months until I went to work and couldn't pump to keep my supply up adequately. I'm now nursing my 7th child. I nursed my 3rd for 6 months then quit work with my 4th and she nursed until she self-weaned at 15 months. My 5th also self weaned around 16 months and my twins also self-weaned around 16-18 months. My current nursling is almost 10 months old and going strong. My family and my inlaws are supportive because they know that I know what I'm doing.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I was breastfed for 6 months in 1973. My mum says 6 months was a long time to hold out back then!

She has never said anything negative about me feeding our children and I fed my last babe for 2 years. Just this week she was telling me that her hairdresser is breastfeeding her 8mo and is getting comments of surprise over that every day. My mum told her that 8mo is still tiny and she should just keep feeding as long as she wants to. She's already talked to her about EC and Mooncups as well so the hairdresser must think my mum is a bit crazy.

MIL on the other hand told me that it wasn't a problem that my SIL was having problems feeding our dn when she was born becuase 'that first milk isn't really any good anyway'







SIL made it to a month mixed feeding then dn started rejecting her milk. FIL commented that even though I bf his grandchildren they seemed to do alright on it.









Having your parents say yes to you when everyone else is saying no makes a big difference I think


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## nia82 (May 6, 2008)

Interesting thread!

My oldest sister was breastfed for 2 months, then apparently my mom's milk dried up... My other sister was breastfed for 2 weeks, then my mom had appendicitis and had the shot to dry up her milk (dunno whose decision: doc or mom's). I had milk for 2 days, and because they thought there was no milk, they put me on formula. I guess my mom's milk wasn't in yet and they just gave up. My mom doesn't really talk about it, but I do know that she believes in bf causing sagging boobs and she is quite a vain person. I think it was by choice to formula feed us. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, but her parenting decision have always been based on convenience.
She now is very supportive, even a little sad, I have a feeling she regrets that she formula fed us. She is supportive of baby-led weaning as well. My dad googled the issue and is totally on my side.
DH was formula-fed, his siblings nursed for 10 months (one weaned cause MIL was pregnant again, the other one "weaned himself"). She is supportive of 12 months nursing, but not beyond that. She wouldn't say anything though, I know her opinion but she keeps it to herself.
I don't know how it affected us, my immune system is decent... But DS has only been sick once and it was no biggie at all. I don't know any formula fed babies to compare him with....
Now I hope my oldest sister will choose breastfeeding... She is due August 2nd and I fed her with all the good information... She takes after my mom in vanity, and I am trying hard to convince her that breastfeeding doesn't cause saggy boobs...


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## MissE (May 12, 2007)

I was breastfed for 6 weeks after that it apparently wasn't enough milk for me and I wanted to eat 'real food'. I was born in east Germany and there was no information for my parents so I'm thinking that I really just had a growth spurt and my mom didn't know what to do and started feeding me babyfood instead. I turned out quite normal in the end and I'm not wishing that she would have breastfed me any longer...My brother was only breastfed for two weeks because my mom got sick and had to take medicine. She switched my brother to formula from one day to another, causing him to have severe GI problems for a few years. He eventually grew out of it.

While my mom and grandma's are supportive of breastfeeding, they believe that proloned (past the magical 6 months mark) breastfeeding makes you crazy. I guess they are secretly shaking their heads at my decicion to breastfeed for 1+ years but I really don't care.


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

I was born in 1971 and my mom nursed me for a couple of months, so she says. My mom is sort of "out there" and I'm not sure I believe her. She told me that she had to stop because she wasn't eating properly and her milk dried up. Doesn't sound right to me, since I've seen pictures of her when I was a baby and she looks perfectly normal.

She also told me that I was delivered by forceps when she was only dilated to 3 centimeters.









Apparently, after I was no longer being BF, I was given some sort of goat's milk concoction. When DS1 was born, she was supportive of breastfeeding but insisted that if I gave him some cereal at night that he would sleep longer (like, when he was a week old).

My IL's were not _un_supportive of BF, but my FIL was uncomfortable being around me and my SIL when we nursed. He and his brothers were born at home, left intact, and nursed back in the 40's, so I'm not sure what his problem is.

At any rate, we were a military family and didn't live near our relatives, so their support didn't mean much either way.


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## mama_daba (Dec 7, 2004)

my mom was told by doctors that she couldn't and she never did anything to educate herself or questioned doctor's so i was not breastfed at all although she did want to. my dp was breastfed a little but had a poor latch and his mom was also misinformed and had no support so he ended up on formula very quickly. so far both families are very supportive of my son being breastfed he is 19 months. we plan to do clw and i expect nothimg but support at least nothing but support in front of me if they are uncomfortable they probably won't ever say so around me.


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## PoetryMom (Mar 29, 2009)

My Mom BF my older brother for about 3 months, me for a month and my two younger siblings not at all. She says she had to stop early due to mastitis, but she was also of the belief..."if you can afford formula..."

I had my first at 18 and did everything exactly how my mother told me (I was very scared) - so no nursing. Plus, I had to get a job after 6 weeks and I didn't have the faintest idea that there was such thing as a pump.

15 years later I had my second, and I was more educated and also had my sister who had BF her DD for about 18 months (unheard of in my world). I read _Mothering_ magazine and was comitted to nursing this baby; except that my crazy work schedule made it very hard to pump at regular times and my milk "dried up" after 4 months. This was a very difficult time for me, and all my mother had to say about it was that as a working mother I should not be putting myself through all that stress unnecessarily. After all, "we all turned out fine".

When DD2 was born I was even more determined to nurse for at least a year. A better work schedule and an "I don't care what's happening right now, I have to go pump" attitude made it possible to BF my baby for 14 months, and really she weaned herself. I also called my sister a lot and didn't discuss BFing with my mother much.

I know she meant well, but she simply couldn't understand what was the point of a working mother adding more work and stress to her life. To me it was all I wanted to do. I'm so glad I did!!


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## Mulvah (Aug 12, 2008)




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## jeminijad (Mar 27, 2009)

My mother BF'd my brother and I in 1983 & 1985, in east Texas, with a mother who told her it was "disgusting." I don't know how long for, but I believe around 6 months. Certainly far better than many of my Beaumont area peers got.

Unfortunately, that is essentially the only positive thing I can say about her parenting and I am not about to call her and ask her for details! She tried nursing her 3rd child, my much younger brother, in 1995 but he ended up on formula quickly... I think I recall her trying to lose too much weight too quickly, which from this distance I can believe would have really affected her milk supply.

I don't have positive support or negative pressure, really... I had consumed thousands of pages of text and internet regarding nursing and troubleshooting that I really was as prepared as a person can be. DH is take-it-or-leave-it, glad that we don't pay for formula but he and his sibs were all bottle fed from birth so he doesn't see what the big deal is. MIL doesn't discuss it, at all- can't tell if she regrets not doing BFing or just wants to keep her opinions to herself. FIL isn't a big fan but he is a rather ignorant person (not mean, just has a very small sphere of knowledge & experience) and he doesn't bother me at all!

I really, really wonder what my decisions would have been like if I lived 30 years ago, pre Internet and The Doctor Is God era.


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## Biscuits & Gravy (Jul 17, 2008)

My mom nursed me until I was about 9-10 months old and she got pg with my brother. She nursed him for 6 months I think, then my 2nd brother for 8 months. Then she had to have major surgery and weaned him.

My mom is super supportive of me. She works in NICUs and is also very supportive of new moms there. I think her level of support for them has even increased since I've become a mom. She sees my passion for encouraging other moms to nurse, and it has renewed a passion in her. She does her very best to provide those moms with anything she can to help them be successful with breastfeeding their babies.

I was talking to her recently and realized that she has become much more aware and sensitive to moms who are AP/NFL, wanted little intervention in the birth process, but ended up with situations that did not fit what they had planned or wished for. She has a new perspective and a better understanding of how she can help those moms now, and it is definitely a result of seeing my parenting choices and discussing them with me.


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## Dov'sMom (Jan 24, 2007)

I was bf on and off until 3 months -- my mother was finishing up her PhD and teaching a class two days a week in another city so she'd leave me with a sitter and formula for two days a week (like 8 to 10 -- full days) but she mostly nursed the rest of the time.

I remember my mother struggling to breastfeed my youngest siblings, who were twins, and making up bottles for the one while the other nursed (she switched them off each feeding). She nursed them to 5 weeks, when she went back to work full time.

Support: eh. Everyone in my family understands that breastfeeding is ideal, but my father is not comfortable with seeing it -- so it must be fully covered and preferably even then he doesn't want to be there. [When my parents visited and DS1 was 1 week old I was nursing him covered in the dining room and mymother told me my father wasn't comfortable because even if he couldn't see my breast, he could see what I was doing. I told her it was my house and he was welcome to leave the room.] Now that DS1 is 30 months old and still nursing, they just don't talk to me about it. Which, all things considered, is pretty good! My sister, who fully nursed her first until 15 months, supplemented her second but nursed her through a year, and stopped nursing her third at 3 months when the doctors told her he wasn't getting enough milk so she had to switch to formula (actually, he has an autoimmune issue that prevented him from gaining weight) finds it absolutely disgusting that DS1 is still nursing.

DH was breastfed through, oh, probably 3, and has vivid memories of his mom nursing his younger brother, who is 3 years younger. DH has no memories before age 6, so that means she nursed him at least that long too (MIL has no memories of when her boys were little -- sad!). MIL lives with us most of the time, and she is uber-supportive of extended breastfeeding, but, like I said, she has no memories of what she did or why. So not much *practical* help but plenty of support.


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## gagin37 (May 25, 2008)

my mom bf'ed all 3 of us girls until we were well over two years. same with mil and her 3 kids. I've had a lot of support from both sides. for me it was just what you do, I don't think I ever let the possibility of formula or bottles enter my mind.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

I was not bf'ed but my H was for a short while.

My mom vs. my MIL - my mom has been more suppportive in that area overall. It surprised me because my MIL is in the nursing field and has been for a majority of her life. She nursed H for only a couple of weeks and couldn't stand it any longer. My mom was very young when she had me and wasn't really clued in to the benefits of bf'ing, etc., so she didn't attempt.

I was only able to nurse DS for a few months due to very low supply. Eventhough I was only able to bf DS for a short period of time, I found support from my Mom from the get-go and shortly thereafter, from my MIL as well. I guess my Mom just expressed it more than my MIL - I don't really think that the support was less than the other.

H supported me in the beginning, but a few months after DS stopped bf'ing, he thought that the amount of time that I bf'ed DS was just enough. I guess that stems from his own mother not bf'ing him for long? Still has me a little discouraged and I'm hoping that when we have more children, he'll be a bit more supportive & educated.


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## Mal85 (Sep 3, 2008)

My mom had 6 kids. She didn't even attempt to BF the oldest three who were born in the late 60's and through the 70's because it was not recommended as much at that time. She felt it was taboo. The two born before me were BF for 8 weeks, because that's what her doctor recommended. She attempted to BF me and would have done 8 weeks with me like she did the previous two. But she had a tubal ligation done while she was in the hospital when she had me. She said it messed with her hormones and after two weeks, she still didn't have any milk and I was starving, so she put me on formula.

My mom supports me in breastfeeding but has yet to ask me how long I intend to do it. My sister breastfed all her babies (except one who spent quite a bit of time in a children's hospital after her birth, during which time she pumped but was overwhelmed by her diagnosis when they got her home, so she put her on formula... complicated story). But my sister's last baby has a very sensitive stomach and reacted badly to a lot of things my sister ate. My mom pushed her hard to put that baby on formula, even refusing to baby sit for my sister unless the baby was on formula. If I'd had any issues like that, I'm sure she would have strongly encouraged me to use formula. At 3 m/o, I am starting to suspect we have some reflux issues going on (going to the dr. today to see about it). If that is the case, I can almost guarantee my mom will push for us to use formula.

I think she just doesn't know better and has never done the research. She uses information from when she was having kids (I was her last, born in 1985) and information from her own mother who had her kids in the 50's. And she's very mainstream, so sees nothing wrong with formula and doesn't think breastfeeding is really necessary after the first few weeks.


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## NaturalMindedMomma (Feb 5, 2007)

I was not bfed. Neither was my older brother. He was born in 80 and I was in 84. My mom was returning to work 6 weeks post partum and really wanted her body back and did not want to feel pregnant anymore. She also did not want to have to wean at 6 weeks, she felt it was unfair.

I understand her reasoning and she even admits it was a bit selfish. She worked as a hair dresser and would not have had time to pump much either.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

I wasn't BF, though my mom was a nurse and knew it was the best option. But she had almost no support - my dad was away at sea, and my Nana was very anti-BF, and her MIL hadn't done it either. So I think she just felt too alone and overwhelmed.

My sister, 3 years later, was BF for about, I think, 2 months, when my mom had to have dental surgery for a huge abscess.

My half-sister, who is 12 years younger, was BF for 2 1/2 years, which probably influenced me more than what happened to me or my sister.

My MIL BF her boys for 6 months each.


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

I was BF'ed, I don't know how long. There was a m/c between me and my sister. The oldest four of us (late '70's, early 80's) were all BF, the third one even cross-nursed with another mother who (eventually) had five boys about the same age range as the four of us.

I can remember one time, around age six or so, my mom was nursing one of my brothers (probably the fourth child), and I asked for a taste. She put a drop on my finger, and I didn't like it.

The fifth and sixth were born in the 1990's, and mostly bottle-fed. I think for #5, he got jaundice at ~2-3 weeks, went under the bili-lights, and that probably caused enough problems to slow / stop nursing. Or that combined with Mom's job.

The sixth refused to nurse. We think he broke his collarbone at birth, so it hurt too much, and even though Mom was at home at the time, it just didn't work out.


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## jljeppson (Jul 18, 2004)

My mum had 8 with a few miscarriages in there, and nursed 7 of us to around a yr or so (including twins). Number 4 nursed to 3 mths and then weaned because my mom had a surprise pregnancy and her milk dried up. My mom swears (jokingly) that's why she was so much meaner as a child than the rest of us. My mom has been very supportive of my breastfeeding and has been disappointed that most of my nieces and nephews haven't been breastfed for long (or some at all). My MIL has been supportive as well, though I don't think she nursed any of her kids past 6mths. I don't think she sees much of a point past 1 yr, but my MIL has always been the kind to mind her own business when it comes to stuff like that (part of the reason I love her so much). My 1st was nursed to 11mths then weaned because I had viral meningitis (and he didn't care at all), the next nursed until around a yr, 3rd nursed until around 11mths when my milk dried up due to a surprise pregnancy, 4th for 15mths when I weaned so I could get pregnant with #5, #5 for 13-14mths, and #6 is 15 mths and going strong. No objections or disagreements from any family members.


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

I was not BF'd at all but my mother and family were been nothing but supportive about my decision to BF the babe.


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## battymama (Jan 15, 2008)

I was nursed for 6 months or so, My mum was originally not going to breastfeed because she was going to have to go back to work a few weeks later part time then full time at 6 months. Well after a horendous delivery, where i almost died she decided that she was going to breastfeed. SHe had a lot of problems, severe engorgement, bleeding nipples the works, as well as extreemly severe pnd, which we now think was ptsd from the birth. I was never really ebf though because my Nanna insisted she give me bottles of rice cereal and bm.

My mum weaned me at 6 months, she had to go on meds that wearnt compatable, was going back to work and my Nanna who we lived with was being pushy about weaning me. She always regreted weaning me, and growing up she was a huge advocate for breastfeeding, and she always said it was the only time she wished she was married so she could of staid at home and breast feed. She is super suportive of me, she was a bit wigged out about extended bfing as she thought you were only "meant" to do it for a year, but now she knows about it she is super supportive







She has even said that if anything happens to me she will relactate if she can







I love my mummy







:

My Mil Breastfed all her babies for 9-12 months, they were ebf until about 5 months. She is also super suportive.


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## winter singer (Feb 12, 2009)

Wow, just discovered this interesting thread. So fascinating to read about people's choices way back and how that can still have an impact now.

My mother tried to bf my oldest brother, born in 1967, but gave up after 2 weeks because she found it exhausting. I'm sure she had little or no support for it - as far as I know, nobody in her family had breastfed for at least two generations. I also suspect though that she was very ambivalent about it in any case - she's always said things like 'either way [meaning either with bf or formula] they thrive', and doesn't seem to have any regrets. With my other brother and myself (born 1971) she didn't try at all. She put cereal in my formula at 2 weeks and says I was a 'terrific sleeper'.









She's always been rather, um, _certain_ about her views on babycare and when my SIL had her first daughter , 12 years ago, my mother and aunts gave her an enormous amount of grief over her decision to ebf. (My niece was a high-needs baby.) Luckily for me, I live in another country now and have been able to keep my mother and her not-very-helpful opinions at a healthy distance. I was also very fortunate that, even though DD was quite small when she was born (5.4 pounds), she turned out to be a champion nurser and put on weight very quickly in the early months. There wasn't much my mother could say to that. I'm sure it would have been a different story if we'd run into any problems with the bf.

As far as immunities/resistance, I've had two horrible colds since DD was born that knocked me out for days and then developed into bronchitis. DD got the colds too, but in a far milder way - she just snuffled a bit from time to time but wasn't slowed down at all, and had no sign of bronchitis. Yay for bf and antibodies! I'm so proud of myself for breaking out of my family's formula rut!







:

I must admit, I really envy the people in this thread who've had supportive mothers - could have done with that, particularly in the exhausting first few weeks after DD was born. But I've found this community and sites like Kellymom enormously helpful!


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## mags (May 4, 2004)

My mom did not nurse any of her children. She has stuck with this, "theme." She has fought tooth and nail with me about the issue of BFing. She feels that I should FF my children. Keep in mind I am a LLL leader, so not amt of my mom's annoying nagging is going to keep me from BFing my babies. However, she has shown an amazing determination to try to make me FF. She was even stupid enough to ask me when I had my 2nd baby if I planned to BF him too, this was the first time she came to visit me after I gave birth. I think I almost slapped her in the face for asking such a stupid question. If I BF'd my first baby... why wouldn't I BF my subsequent children too????









I think that mostly, she wants me to FF, so she doesn't have to feel guilty about her choice to FF (oh and did I mention that my dad is a ped, who is NOT supportive of BFing... I'll leave that vent for another day). She went as far as to bring cans of formula with her every time she visited until DS1 was 6 mo old (I donated all of it to a women's shelter), and then when I told her she was being unsupportive she pretended to be stupid and said she just brought it, "just in case" I needed it. She told me that she thought I would need formula at night, so I could get some sleep?!?!? I NEVER asked her for any formula, in fact I kept telling her to STOP bringing it and she just kept ignoring my wishes. She also called both of my brothers (who know nothing about children, they were single back then) and told them that I was starving my baby to death, b/c breastmilk was not enough and that they had to convince me to switch for formula. So, she tried to turn the entire family against me and then claims that despite all of her actions, she was, "supportive" of me.

Now my sil is expecting her first baby and my mom is already trying to work on her about the whole FF thing and I have flat out told my sil to keep my mom away from visiting UNTIL she has BFing under control (sil wants to BF). My mom is pretty upset, she thinks that she was very supportive of my BF efforts, and I can't figure out how in her own crazy lala land how her attitude and actions could be interpreted by anyone as being, "supportive" of BFing. I am always so jealous when my friends have mothers or mils supportive of BFing. Even my mil, who BF'd her kids was NOT supportive of my BFing efforts, which is another gripe for another day.


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## Poodge (Jun 16, 2009)

Hi, new here and nak.

My mom nursed me until I self weaned (per her) around a year. DH was a FF baby as that was what you did in the mid 70s. My mom has been very supportive through all our challenges. MIL really hasn't said anything except asking when we plan to give solids as they gave them to DH at a month old!!! I just quoted AAP recommendation of nothing but BM for six months and then FIL said it helped DH sleep - but neither of them pushed it. No one is close to us however so we don't get a lot of input from our parents.

Funny story about my mom learning to breastfeed me: It was in 1979 and there was not a ton of support. She asked for help with flat nipples and the nurse gave her a bottle nipple! On day 5 she went to the nursery in tears and one of the nurse down there grabbed her and ripped open her gown and started examining my moms breasts. She gave my mom a nipple shield and taught my mom how to feed me. We ditched the shield at 3 weeks







She loved that nurse!


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

Everyone nurses in our family. My family would have been horrified if I had chosen to formula-feed. People who really try and aren't successful are pitied and talked about in low tones. My mom doesn't remember how long she nursed us but thinks it was about a year. (1965, 1968, 1973). She remembers hustling home back home from her teaching job because I wouldn't take a bottle My grandmother was so committed to nursing that she just lied about it to people. The pressure to formula feed was so strong. The family's joke is that is the only lie my grandmother ever told.

My sister pumped and syringe-fed her second for a few weeks because of a premature latch and my cousin got her four month old (!) to finally latch after having many latch issues, so there is a lot of committment. Most people, including my sister, nurse until around 14-16 m. (Why, because have a family friend who is a lactation nurse who advises everyone we know that this is the easiest time to wean. Not ideal time, just the easiest, because they've already "had all the benefits of bf'ing.") Everyone thinks that cousin is crazy because she nursed until she was 3. My family thought it was a little eccentric that I pumped until 18m at work and bf'd almost until 2. He self-weaned when I was pregnant. NIP is normal but it is very discrete. None of the grandpas have opinions. *sigh* But can I mention that ever single one of bf'ing mommies nurses on demand but has a baby sleeping through the night at 7 months. And they don't CIO or anything. The babies just do. I was *really* unprepared for DS.

Dh and his brother were both bf'd but no longer than 6-7 months. Also, MIL "always carried a can of formula" so I wonder at the mix. She weaned because "she was told to" and expresses regret but not so secretly thinks that babies should be weaned before one. They also had a full time day AND night nurse and she advocates CIO. She knows the current research though and her comments are mix of the wildly nosy and inappropriate, self-pitying, and defensive. She also wanted us to feed solids very early and would deliberately serve DS a bottle of bm right before I got home so she got the privilege of feeding him. She thought it was selfish to insist on nursing him so often when I could do the convenient thing for her and pump a bottle so she got to feed him. Aggravating.

My mom has nine grandchildren and had never fed one of them a bottle until my DS. None of them would take a bottle or pacifier. She fed him one while my husband and I had a date night at around six months. My MIL expressed her sadness (and outrage) at this in front of us both, and my mom, bless her, didn't rise to the bait. All she said was something mild about nursing babies needing to be nursed.

I've actually never fed a baby a bottle.

My family is really healthy on the whole. DH's brother has terrible allergies and asmatha.


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

My siblings and I were all bf. We were born in '65, '68 and '70. Yes, it had a definite impact on my plan to bf. I never considered anything else, it was totally normal.

On the other hand, when I had problems bfing, my mother was at a total loss. She never had a problem and really couldn't understand what I was going through.


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## 1littlebit (Jun 1, 2008)

i was nursed for over a year and a half... i don't think my mom knew how to wean and i was very erm... demanding







my bro was BF for 9 mos and my mom swears he self weaned b/c he preferred the bottle b/c it was quicker and easier... which i later pointed out would not have been an issue if he had never had a bottle.. and it was probably a nursing strike but w/e. she also co slept with us b/c in her words she was to lazy to try and put us asleep in a crib and wayyy to lazy to get up out of bed to retrieve us and then return us to the crib. my aunt BF till my cousin was almost 3. i think my mom did it to annoy my grandmother.. she also gave birth in a birthcenter with a midwife and my grandmother still hasn't forgiven her and told me when i was pg how i shoudn't be like my mother .. and she was gritting her teeth and shaking her head









neither of them was supportive with the nursing.







they werent unsupportive but they werent particularly helpful either. both my mom and my aunt told me FF was fine and BFing was really hard and i shouldn't feel like i had to do it. my mom told me how much she hated having to hand express into a cup if she left me alone ever. my aunt said formual fed babies are healthy and happy.. and i shouldn't pressure myself. after i weaned and was relactating i asked her why she hadn't pushed me to BF and she told me if she had known i wanted her to she would have







my mom still thinks its stupid that i regret not BFing... i don't get it at all









they were also the ones who had natural births.., they both told me to listen to the doctor and not be a hero.







they couldn't have been less helpful if they had snuck me into the operating room and then stole DS to give him tons of formula.. all b/c they didn't want to pressure me or make me feel guilty or force their opinions on me.







if someone is fighting an unecessary c section and struggling to BF HELP THEM!







i am sure they will forgive you for your unsolicited advice.


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## Everrgreen (Feb 27, 2007)

My mom breastfed me for 9 months but had to stop because she had an infection that had been getting progressively worse since my birth and finally had to treat it (I'm not sure what it was or what the treatment was that prevented breastfeeding). She also attempted to breastfeed my adopted brother, but never could. She is very supportive of my breastfeeding.

My mil breastfed all 3 of her children (not sure how long) yet still got into a big argument with me when I was pregnant about how inappropriate nip is







. However, she has never actually said anything to me when I have nip with her.


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## Minou1975 (Nov 3, 2008)

I was nursed for a year -- my mother said I weaned myself but that seems unlikely. But still, in London, 1975 she did beautifully and I so appreciate it.

My husband was nursed for three months then got a mix of formula and solids at six weeks (whoa!) and generally was carelessly parented by his mother (with whom he lived) and lovingly by his father (every other weekend). He had all kinds of allergies and asthma as a kid and still has difficulty with digestion. I had none. I'm still nursing our first DS at 10 months and hope to go until he weans himself.

I have had and still have TONS and TONS of support from both of my parents, my brother, our part-time nanny who breastfed all four of her kids, through insanely frequent nursing (tongue tie didn't reveal itself until my baby was 3 months because I had oversupply that masked it at first). MIL only criticizes.


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## justKate (Jun 10, 2008)

How neat! My mom breastfed me for 17 weeks in 1981, at which point I cut two teeth (per my baby book, not her memory). She breastfed my brother for four months in 1984. She has been very supportive so far, but seems to think six months is long enough...but she hasn't asked when we'll wean and I won't be bringing it up. I did tell her there would be no rice cereal and no solids before 6 mos. at least, which she found curious.









Huz was FF, but his mother is completely accepting of my decisions. And he is completely supportive of me.


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## AirMiami (Feb 3, 2009)

I was breastfed until I was 6 months old, when I started to refuse to nurse because I was teething. My mother thought I was rejecting her and didn't know that babies will sometimes go on a nursing strike while teething, she was young and had absolutely no support in nursing since she was the first to attempt it in a couple decades in our family. It broke her heart to stop nursing me, I do know that. She nursed one sister until she was 9 months old, she also went on a nursing strike because my mother was pregnant. She nursed the other sister until she was a year, and she nursed my brother for 18 months when he self-weaned. She's very supportive of nursing, but it annoys her when I nurse in public without a blanket over the baby's head (which the baby hates, which is why I don't do that!).

My husband was nursed until he was well over a year, she actually weaned him because she had another baby and didn't want to tandem nurse. His older brother was born in the 70's and never nursed, MIL was given the "shot" to dry up her milk. She was only 19 when she had him and was told formula was better anyway







. His little sister was nursed until she was 6 months and put on solid food, not sure why since she nursed my husband for a "long time". MIL is very supportive of me nursing and doesn't seem to have any issues with me doing so for awhile that I know of. She's a very loving person and really appreciates the special bond that nursing can give you.


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## sparklefairy (May 21, 2005)

I was breastfed until I was about 3, and my younger siblings were breastfeed for progressively less time (shortest was 18 months).

My parents were supportive initially, but my mother did give me some bad advice that could have interfered with breastfeeding had there been a problem (putting baby down and jiggling bed to get her to sleep as a newborn, for example). They also became less supportive as time went on (such as for tandem nursing). Typical of my mother, if it wasn't an experience that she had, then I must be doing something wrong.


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## esteg0 (Oct 21, 2007)

I was breast fed until around 3 and my mom is super supportive of my desire to do extended breast feeding. My dad and sister are too, so it's really great.

We have no idea about DH. His mom is really weird. She never tells stories about his childhood and so we really know nothing about it. Kinda sad. The one time she came to visit she was horrible all around, but did tend to give me dirty looks if I BF in the same room as her. I know if we see her again (had a big falling out when she was last here) she'll have something mean to say about BFing him still. Ugh she's a sucky MIL.


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## mouthcave (Oct 9, 2008)

I was not breastfed and my husband was for 3 months? 6 months? no more than 6 months, but I'm not exactly sure on the amount of time.
My mom supports my decision to BF, i suppose. I think she felt very judged for choosing to FF so part of her is still on the defense. Example--an aunt that breastfed had a child that was frequently sick so my mom will say something like, "I thought BFed kids weren't supposed to be like that." That is also her response to my super gassy, spits-up-a-lot 3 week old. She also has said things like, "If they are old enough to ask for it, then they are too old to nurse!" She has stopped saying that since she was aware my 2.5 year old started asking to nurse though.  She also told my I "had" to wean my oldest before the new baby was born in a "duh, you should KNOW that!" kind of way. For the most part though, she does not really talk about it negatively or positively. What I read from her is that if all these breastfed babies aren't all fantastic and super healthy at all times and it takes more time and effort, what is the point of BFing? Like perhaps I am stupid for doing it or only doing it so I can wear some kind of BFing badge.
My MIL told me while I was pregnant that any woman that didn't breastfeed was stupid. I'm not really sure that counts as support, haha. At the time it just made me feel a lot of pressure and, you know, think she was being a big jerk. We also had a lot of difficulty with BFing at first and she just... didn't get it. She thought the reason that we had problems was because I was young, dumb, and my mom didn't BF me. She gave me permission to stop trying since me being stressed out about it was probably stressing out the baby. Anyway, I guess she is very supportive of early breastfeeding as long as it works out perfectly. She hasn't said much to me about it, but i think she is uncomfortable with me BFing my toddler. My SIL has talked to me about breastfeeding past the age of one when my son was younger than one and she said some things about it not having any nutritional value after one year, blahblahblah. I assume my MIL has the same opinion.


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## LoBleusMama (Aug 10, 2005)

i wasn't breastfed at all, I bf DD and she weaned herself around 11 months and I was heartbroken. I nursed DS til he was 15 months, and I kind of felt it was mutual but I wish we would have gone longer. He was just so violent and biting, etc. and I didn't seek the support I should have


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## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

my mom said she 'tried to nurse me and i didn't want to' so i went straight to bottle







: I had no support with nursing from her.


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## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

1.5 year here! and i think it does help... she still has a hard time wrapping her head around CLW, but she is still supportive of it if i choose to do it! she is MOST defiantly 100% supportive to BF'ing and feels its the only and best way to go







: !!!! she say FF should only be use when BF'ing can not take place...

DH was BF for 1 year however he is the second oldest and there are 4 kids in his family. he was the only one to be BF'ed for that long and his youngest sister is the only other one who was BF'ed and she was only BF'ed for 3mths so who know what my MILs thinking is... she is totally all over the board with her thoughts i dont turn to her much for support because her advice depends on her mood...


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## adlib77 (Nov 28, 2008)

Cool thread! I've only read some of the responses, but I'll come back to read more.

I wasn't breastfed at all. My mother had her gall bladder removed when she was pregnant with me and had a planned C-section. This was in 1977. Her doctor advised against breastfeeding because of her blood pressure. Of course, that was silly, but she was a new mom and didn't really have support. Her mom didn't nurse any of her 9 children.

My sisters were both breastfed, though. The one who is 2 years younger than me nursed until she was 16 months old and the one who is 6 years younger than me nursed until she was 3. My mom was and is very supportive of all my breastfeeding situations - including tandem nursing (though she did worry about my exhaustion then and gently suggested weaning my oldest - she backed off when I told her I wasn't going to do that). She generally believes in child led weaning.

My dh wasn't breastfed. His mother is supportive of it, but it also may be that she's just not very likely to challenge my parenting decisions because she knows she'll get an earful. Ha!


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## Katsmamajama (Jun 24, 2009)

If I understood my mom right, I was nursed a year, and my bro was only maybe 4-5 months. She had weaned me, I guess, because I needed more than she supplied, and my bro she flat out stopped because he was teething and nearly gnawed her nipple off. She was a huge supporter for me, she was helping me get DD latched on before the nurse came in the first time to help, and she was always a phone call away if I was having issues-- everything from, "try holding her like this, to, "yes, honey, you shouldn't eat spicy Mexican food when you nurse, no matter how good it looks!"

I have no idea about DH's upbringing, but he's very supportive of whatever I think is necessary for our child(ren).


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## Emmery'sMom (May 31, 2009)

I was BF past 1 yr (not sure how long exactly) and my mom is supportive.
My DH was BF for 6 weeks until my MIL was put on a course of meds because she broke out head-to-toe in hives, apparently from how much stress round the clock BFing put on her body (she FF her first two). My MIL and DH are supportive of BFing.
As supportive as they are now, all of them were way too quick to suggest supplementing with formula in the early weeks when it was just plain hell. My MIL went so far as to buy some and bring it to my house (I sent it back with her). She also asked me a few weeks ago when we were discussing DD's milk protein intolerance if I would FF if her pedi suggested putting her on special formula... I told MIL no I would not FF- I would fire the pedi







: I think she was shocked.
But everyone has been pretty good about finding and even making me dairy free food, they all love to comment about how chunky DD is from my milk, and my mom is always commenting how DD is thriving


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## deny_zoo29 (Sep 21, 2008)

I was not breastfed do to medical issues at birth but my mom wanted to and had planned to. So she is completely supportive of my planning to breastfeed. Our goal is 6-12 months and we'll see from there! My partner is supportive of this goal as well and ready to help where she can!


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## WaitingForKiddos (Nov 30, 2006)

I was selfweaned at about 4.5 years. Dh at 2.5-2.75 years.

There was no thought about not bfing this kid. I think my mom and mil would be very disappointed in me if I didn't bf. For both of them bfing was very easy.

Dh has issues with mamas who choose to ff. I do as well, but I think he's more of a irl lactivist while I hate formula co's and most medical advice having to do with bfing.

Interestingly, outside of being nursed, neither of us had other exposure to bfing. I fed my babies from plastic bottles. Dh doesn't remember seeing kids bfing in his family, though they were.


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## [email protected] mama (May 9, 2009)

Myself and my 3 siblings were all breastfed. I self weaned around 18 months. My mom always spoke affectionately about nursing and I always looked forward to doing it with my own children









My mom was at the birth of my daughter and helped me with the first latch in the delivery room. Her support was wonderful and she encourages me to nurse as long as possible.

So yes, my upbringing definitely influenced my feelings.

DH's mom breastfed him for a year. It was (from what I can tell) more about economics than anything else. She introduced solids very early and wanted him to be "fattened up". She makes comments about our daughter's size (she is small and lean, but eats very well and nurses well) and tells us to give her all kinds of food and it DRIVES ME NUTS! LOL


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## Halfasianmomma (Nov 1, 2007)

My mother was a big bra-burning feminist who somehow got it into her head that breastfeeding would rob her of her freedom, so she fought it with everything she had. It didn't help that back then, the hospital nurses would openly look down on anyone who didn't nurse. Just to go against the grain, my mother chose formula. Finally, she had inverted nipples and was told she'd need to wear a shield, so that scealed my fate. I was bottlefed soy formula.

To be quite honest, my mother has supported my *choice* to breastfeed, but she still thinks it's a "whole bunch of troubles" (directly translated from québécois French!). I'm a very stubborn person though, so I just ignored her and kept doing what I wanted. I don't know why exactly, but DD only took a bottle ONCE at 8 weeks, and then never again. My mother equates that with a loss of freedom for me, and she sometimes talks about how I am sacrificing myself on the "alter of breastfeeding". I know she looks forward to the day that I wean. My father, on the other hand, was nursed for quite some time, by a wet nurse, as was the tradition in wealthy families in Viet-Nam. My grandmother was a midwife who ran a midwifery hospital in Saigon, so he was quite comfortable with the idea of extended nursing. Just the other day, he talked about the wonderful gift I have given my DD by nursing her for this amount of time. He still considers it a sacrifice on my part (because of the lack of sleep and the inability to pass DD off to DH for a bottle), but I think he feels it's a positive sacrifice. My mother, sadly, does not.

My DH was breastfed though I have no idea how long. MIL was an L&D nurse for decades and she firmly believed in the benefits of nursing. I think I got more support from my MIL, the lactation consultants I saw and the Nourri-Source group I attended, than from my own mother.


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## Flower of Bliss (Jun 13, 2006)

My mom nursed all 3 of her kids (me till 18 months when she weaned to get pregnant, #2 till about 3, #3 till about 2). She did introduce pureed food around 4 months. All of her 5 sisters nursed their babies for 1+ years. My maternal grandmother nursed all 8 of her kids for about a year each. It would have never occurred to me to do anything but nurse my babies.

DH's mom did not nurse any of her babies (she tried briefly with the first, but the doctor said it wasn't working and she was so relieved), and they've been mildly supportive. Both of his sisters and his SIL attempted to BF, but quit very very early due mostly to lack of knowledge, poor advice, and lack of support. I haven't had any really negative comments, but they haven't been super positive either. Throughout my first pregnancy they kept talking about "if BF doesn't work then...." and I kept saying "it will work."


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## knittygritty (Apr 23, 2009)

My older sister was bf, but I wasn't. Mom still hasn't told me why, but maybe someday I'll get the nerve to ask. I was apparently a "colicky" baby and couldn't keep down anything they fed me. They tried everything but finally had to buy some kind of obscure, expensive goat's milk product two hours away. I grew up with (and still have) terrible eczema, and I am prone to many auto-immune diseases. I have digestive issues even though I eat healthfully. I hate to say it, but I suspect that if Mom had just bf me I would be a lot healthier today.


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## ChickyMama (Dec 15, 2005)

My mother breastfed myself and my four siblings for one year. I think that probably impacted my "decision" to breastfeed, I just remember knowing I would breastfeed, not deciding I would. I suppose if she didn't and had portrayed some negative view of it to me growing up that I may not have wanted to nurse. I nursed both my children to 19/20 months and I was a tiny bit less secure about that decision since my mother was pretty firm on being done before their memory really kicked in to make weaning more difficult.


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## secondimpression (Jun 10, 2008)

I was nursed for 5 months before my mother got pregnant with my brother and weaned because she couldn't keep up with the demands of a full time job, a baby and a second pregnancy. No idea if I was weaned onto formula or straight onto table food. She nursed my brother for 7 months when he was weaned straight onto table food. My mother had nothing but challenges with my brother: my father was unemployed when he was born so she went back to working double shifts at 11 days post partum and my brother had horrific colic that lasted a solid 7 months. Everytime I have to pump at work I have to keep reminding myself that if she managed to make BFing work with my brother, there's no reason in the world I can't make it work too. She's not outwardly supportive though, I think because she's too afraid to sound pushy









MIL and FIL are a whole different story. I got many "see how long THAT lasts" comments from both of them while I was pregnant and now with DS being 3 months they're pushing solids







: MIL also thinks she's the authority on BFing because SIL has a coworker who is BFing. The idea of nursing her children never once crossed her mind. Our relationship is openly volatile and I really couldn't give half a rat's behind what my inlaws think anymore (and I kind of enjoy antagonizing them







)

So even though I do have family members who BFed or were BFed, I don't really have any support. DH has been clueless and even said some rather mean things, so he's no help. The only real BF support I have is my nursing relationship with DS


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