# Help!!My 3 yr old won't leave my breasts alone!



## Luckymomma (Nov 29, 2002)

Hello all! I've been hanging around on the TTC boards, moved up to 'I'm pregnant', and somehow I've forgotten about my wonderful little boy, with whom I need help.

We gently weaned about 6 months ago, very gradual, no trauma, I think. But he has really been driving me nuts lately. He grabs my breasts, and just started to 'pretend' nurse through my clothes. But worse is that he sometimes grabs other breasts, like the grandmas. He thinks it's just the funniest thing, but it really makes my husband mad, which in turn makes me very tense.

I'm at a loss. I've tried talking, listening, yelling, walking away, I even tried slapping his hand(not hard). How can I get him to stop? I've even toyed with the idea of letting him nurse again to see if that 'fills the need'. But the need should be met. There was no sudden weaning. There was never a shed tear during the whole deal. Help!! Please!! Besides, I'm 8 weeks pregnant, and my patience has taken a turn for the worst.







Thanks for any suggestions


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## countrymom (Aug 27, 2002)

I was pregnant when I weaned my DS @ age 2 1/4 and what helped was that my breasts were tender & sore & I used that as a reason for him to not touch my breasts. I exaggerated the tenderness when he touched at times and he seemed to respond with a gentler touch rather than his forcefull grabbing.

And then I began explaining that my breasts needed to rest to make milk for the new baby. And that reasoning seemed to work. I also involved him with the descision...asking him was it OK for the baby to drink mama's milk when he was born & talking a lot about how babies nurse...and that "when you were a baby..... but now you're a big boy"..etc

And somehow it worked. There were just a few days- week maybe of him over handling my breasts but then it stopped. If he went to reach down my shirt, I'd distract him with playing a game or something.

And he has adjusted well to baby- not jealous of his nursing, thankfully. good luck.


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## Bluedragonfly (Nov 9, 2002)

Well, I'm not pregnant, and my daughter is three and a half. She weaned at 2 3/4 and she STILL wants to pretend, and giggle, and squeeze, and pinch and sing songs about them.

Most of the time, I let her pretend (i.e., I let her pull my shirt up at home and put her mouth on). She is fascinated with babies and I know part of it is that, her pretending to be one, but also that she misses it. Lately though I have been saying no, and "weaning" her from it









I guess I'm lucky she doesn't grab other people's boobs - that is a tough one. I think it's a phase, and I'm certain he'll grow out of it. But one thing is for sure. If he knows he gets a major rise out of his dad or you by doing it, he will definitely continue.

Whoever he grabs (grandma, etc.) needs to protect their own bodies and relay their own boundaries, in addition to your response. This person correcting his behaviour immediately will hit home as a "no-no" much more effectively, I think. But that is just my opinion. Hey, it's not like there is the golden book of how to raise a child, and I do think that this may be one instance where it does take a village, kwim?

Merry Christmas, and good luck!


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

L'M, we can empathize here.

DS#1 weaned at 3, and has spent the last two years trying to "cop a feel" any chance he can. (And it was not a joyful weaning, took a while, as he's high need and would have nursed happily for as long as he could, but for many reasons it was time. )

Anyway, all we do is remind him over and over that my breasts are my private body and he should keep his hands to himself.

When it first started happening I slapped his hands, but have since found MDC







and have learned other ways of dealing than that ... point being that it's a matter of teaching boundaries, which hitting doesn't do.

I wouldn't offer nursing again if I were you, just because (a) that opens you up to pregnant nursing, which ... well, if you're pregnant and you have a weaned child, keep him that way ... ie., pregnant nursing hurts







... and (b) it keeps it an issue when the baby shows up, for the older one.

He still does it, and occasionally I let it pass. If it's mid-hug I'll just pick up his hands and move them to another part of me, like my back







: . But if it's painful (a pinch or poke)he's called on it, or if it's while I'm nursing the other children he's called on it.

This has been awfully rambly, but just want to empathize. Let me know what you find that works ... I'd love to know ...










- Amy


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## Pynki (Aug 19, 2002)

I was having problems with my 4 year old with this... We had the private areas touch... I explained that one on should touch him in his special places except the dr when he is at the office for a check up that sort of thing.. I explained that mommies breast are mommy's special areas and he shouldn't touch them... We explained that all girls and boys have special areas that no one should touch... It seem to help him to know that he had special areas that no one should touch and special areas he shouldn't touch on someone else...

He will still come up to me and say mommy i don't touch your breast.. To which i gently smile to him.. No those are mommy's private areas... He just smiles and hugs me then..

Maybe that would help you to have the same conversation...

Warm Squishy Feelings...

Dyan


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## Luckymomma (Nov 29, 2002)

Cool. It really helps to know that other kids have gone through this. I had avoided the 'private' areas talk with him, because I was afraid of instilling him with the hang-ups I've been raised with. But I think it's time to have a talk about respecting other peoples bodys, and respecting his own. Thanks so much for all your responses. I guess my biggest concern was that other people would think or say"see, she nursed him too long", I just want my extended breastfed son to be a prime example of the benefits. Yet he continues to be an individual with his own ideas. How did that happen?







Just kidding. I think we'll all lighten up about it. Thanks again.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

luckymomma,







truthfully, I worried about the nursing being the cause, and now that you posted, feel better about it.

Though I still think the tough weaning process might be a major part of this. He was definitely not happy about weaning, and was still nursing very often during the day and had only nightweaned a few weeks before the total weaning, and that was under duress, too.

Ah, well. When they grow up and are in therapy, it'll all come out in the wash ...














:










- Amy


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## Starfire (Jun 26, 2002)

My ds never pretended to nurse on my breast after he was weaned, but if some one who was bug chested came over he would sit on their lap and say "can I listen to your heart?" then try and feel them up.









I would get so emarrased, and what I finnaly did was sit with him before people came over and would say:

You do not nurse on momy anymore because they are emty and because they are momies. If you want to listen to my heart beating that is fine, but it is not ok to feel on others breast (and I did use that word), most of them are emty too.

that slowly worked till my sister had her baby







: and of course ds started asking about her full breasts. And i told him that is for her baby, and he wouldn't like it if some one ate his food, so please don't ask for hers.

To my suprise he did, and my sis squirted him, and he tought it was so groos tasting he quit. He hasn't done it since.


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