# NEED ADVICE! Jehovah Witness nanny...



## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

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## krisw (Jun 8, 2006)

Is it possible that she was reading it herself, left it by mistake, and is now worried that you will fire her if she admits it was hers? Or perhaps there was someone passing them out in the area and she took one and just set it down there?


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## Joannarachel (Dec 10, 2005)

I would need some straight answers from her. Regardless of her religion, prosyletizing on the job is NEVER acceptable.

Tell her, regardless of her religion, you will treat her beliefs with respect, and you expect her to do the same, and that any infraction of this rule, including leaving religious tracts around your house, will result in termination.


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## Katie Bugs Mama (Feb 1, 2004)

I think that is the tract-of-the-month. Someone left it on my front porch yesterday. Maybe she found it on the porch and brought it in to be helpful? Why can't you get a straight answer from her? Is English not her first language? If so, maybe she didn't undersstand what the pamphlet was.


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

I'd let it go this time. Seriously.

But if it happened again it would be a real problem for me, after this little chat.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

Tee hee







I had a JW come to my door and hand me that exact pamphlet. I dont think she will brainwash your kids. I also think it is completely acceptable for you to request that she not bring any more literature into the house or discuss religion with your children.


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## gamecaco4 (Sep 15, 2006)

I dont know where your computer is in reference to your front door, but is it possible that JW's did come to the door and she answered while you were in deep cleaning mode? We had that pamphlet dropped off on Saturday. Maybe she did put it on your desk, but it wasnt hers? Just a thought.


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## ndunn (Mar 22, 2006)

I would proceed with some caution. Thats just me though. Those things are VERY important to me. I hate it when people try and push their religions on my daughter. I see it happening already and she's only 6 months!


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I wouldn't be too bothered by it. if you don't want them in her house tell her not to accept any more/thow them away/whatever and not to bring any religous pamphlets for you that your not intrested and leave it that. if she respects your wishes no harm done. if she doesn't respect your wishes then it goes deeper than a pamphlet and I would let her go.


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## WNB (Apr 29, 2006)

I think you should be totally up front with her regarding the fact that you are not receptive to receiving information from the JW ministry from her, and you expect her to respect the integrity of your family's religious beliefs, just as you respect hers. And leave it at that.

I was being visited relatively regularly by a couple women who would stop by mid-morning every few months and offer me some religious information from their JW ministry. I was polite and accepted the tracts a few times, but eventually I realized that by my accepting them, they thought I was actually interested in learning more and possibly converting (or whatever one does to become a JW). I finally said, politely, that I just wasn't interested in receiving this sort of information, but thanked them for their neighborliness and wished them well. They were very pleasant and I have not had any more "free" literature left for me. (For that reason, I doubt very much that it was from someone else who just left it at the door for you -- I believe the "missionaries" speak directly with the people they are offering their literature to, and will not just leave it without having spoken with someone first. That may be just my area though, who knows, since she just sort of left it for you and did not speak with you directly.)

Good luck!


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## wombat (Nov 3, 2002)

Sorry my mom was a JW. I bet she saw that house of yours FULL of 'pagan' ornaments and just felt you needed that JW tract desperately. My mom would always go around muttering about 'pagan' this and 'pagan' that and false religions.

I find JW's are like most other religions in that once you make it clear to them you have your own beliefs, they'll try to be respectful. But it's like those Christians who even when they know you're not religious still say 'bless you' or 'I'll pray for you' all the time. JW's are kinda programmed to 'save' people. If you're firm and clear about your expectations of her job, it'll probably not be a problem.

She's probably fine, just keep an eye on her.


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## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

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## piglet0712 (Oct 11, 2006)

RainCoastMama said:


> DH was skeeved by the whole situation and his issue is now that our MH may slip some teachings here and there to our kids and that she fundamentally judges us as we're not Xtian. I'm willing to just lay low with open ears as she really is a wonderful person.
> 
> QUOTE]
> 
> Okay I know that this seems a little bit on the downside to everyone else's posts but I have to be completely honest. When I read your last post stating the above quote, something told me to post my opinion. I'm a home day care provider and I had a client disagree with my strategies and ethics. Well that became a huge problem. If your MH is a JW, then it's in her nature to act like a JW. (If that makes sense) She may "slip" some teachings unconsciously. I do all the time. I'm a Christian (and I stated in my contract that I am just so my clients are aware of my way of living and my beliefs). And I don't think she'll judge your beliefs. My point is that if this situation is making you feel so uncomfortable that you can't discuss this freely and get some closure with her then it's not a good match. This is coming from a previous experience.


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## ICU812 (Oct 3, 2006)

Hi, I feel compelled to post here since i am one of Jehovah's Witnesses







I don't think you have anything to worry about, i'm sure if you tell her not to push it she wont. I wouldn't. Be up front with her, she wont be offended, after all, she works for you so your rules go.......







"*Will she continue to leave scripture around?"* Not if you tell her not to *"Will she try to brainwash my kids?"* NO *"Is it part of her religion to convert us?"* NO *"Does she reflexively disrespect us or feel 'sorry' for us that we're not saved?"* NO *"How the heck is this going to affect how she takes care of my kids?"* Its not gonna affect anything, i'm sure she will take care of your kids with the utmost respect and caring that anyone else would. We are just "normal" people like anyone else, as far as normal goes







some are crazy







:







you can find all kinds just like you can find all kinds in other religions. HTH


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## Lyricc (Mar 13, 2006)

Just a quick message.. this is kinda a bit off topic, but at my first apartment, there were two groups of mormons that would come around. I am not christian. I told them both the same thing. "I am not christian, and never will be. Although I respect that you are doing what you believe is right for your religion, please respect my right to not have you "preaching" in my home".. Group number one, two young men, listened and followed.. they never once said a word about religion again. I would see them in the apartments occasionally, and they even helped me carry groceries to my third story apartment (no elevator and it was "big shopping day") without even a joke as to "now you'll have to convert"..

Group numbah two didn't listen. They kept coming back, leaving books of mormon on my doorstep, I was a "hopeless godless pagan, wallowing in sin, begging to be saved".. *snort*.. well, finally I had it. My boyfriend at the time just moved in with me, and one night (NIGHT!) they came to the door. I looked through the peephole, saw who it was, and announced it to my boyfriend. He quickly said he'd answer the door.. when i looked back at him, he had took off all his clothes, except for his pagan pendant necklace, put on his leather trenchcoat (open), grabbed a one foot hunting knife from the wall, and then picked up my cat.. and opened the door, holding said cat by scruff of neck, knife in the other had as though he was about to eat, coat open, williy waving, and BTW, he's six foot five.

they never came back again.

(I know this has nothing to do with the post, but it was amusing, and I had to share. if your MH is a "good" JW, she will have no problem separating her work and relgious life. The fact that you get good vibes from her is promising. OTOH, if she is very strong about it (i don't like to say "fundie"), your words are simply the words of the devil, and your soul is crying for help. but you'd probably know if she was like that by now. )


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## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lyricc* 
Just a quick message.. this is kinda a bit off topic, but at my first apartment, there were two groups of mormons that would come around. I am not christian. I told them both the same thing. "I am not christian, and never will be. Although I respect that you are doing what you believe is right for your religion, please respect my right to not have you "preaching" in my home".. Group number one, two young men, listened and followed.. they never once said a word about religion again. I would see them in the apartments occasionally, and they even helped me carry groceries to my third story apartment (no elevator and it was "big shopping day") without even a joke as to "now you'll have to convert"..

Group numbah two didn't listen. They kept coming back, leaving books of mormon on my doorstep, I was a "hopeless godless pagan, wallowing in sin, begging to be saved".. *snort*.. well, finally I had it. My boyfriend at the time just moved in with me, and one night (NIGHT!) they came to the door. I looked through the peephole, saw who it was, and announced it to my boyfriend. He quickly said he'd answer the door.. when i looked back at him, he had took off all his clothes, except for his pagan pendant necklace, put on his leather trenchcoat (open), grabbed a one foot hunting knife from the wall, and then picked up my cat.. and opened the door, holding said cat by scruff of neck, knife in the other had as though he was about to eat, coat open, williy waving, and BTW, he's six foot five.

they never came back again.

(I know this has nothing to do with the post, but it was amusing, and I had to share. if your MH is a "good" JW, she will have no problem separating her work and relgious life. The fact that you get good vibes from her is promising. OTOH, if she is very strong about it (i don't like to say "fundie"), your words are simply the words of the devil, and your soul is crying for help. but you'd probably know if she was like that by now. )











My DH wishes he would have thought of that when the local baptists came to our door and would not accept the polite "no thank yous" we offered them. They even tried to wedge there way into the door! DH is thinking he could have even taken the cat and turned his back to them, crouched on the ground with our cat and start tickling him.... our cat yowls like he's being murdered when you tickle him....


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ICU812* 
*"Is it part of her religion to convert us?"* NO *
*
*
*
*
I am under the distinct impression that it is part of the religion to convert others, in fact is it not considered an obligation of theirs and thus the reason that they proselytize door to door?

OP - I thought this was no big deal until I read the part about you watching her while your DD talked about halloween. If you feel like you have to pay attention to that degree, has your trust of her been compromised? It seems like it might have. Maybe you should consider that in deciding whether or not to continue to employe her. Just something to think about. You shouldn't have to "watch" her to make sure she's not doing anything like that, and whether or not she would, if you feel like she MIGHT... right or wrong...*


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## mammastar2 (Dec 17, 2004)

I'd just wait and see.

She's an individual, and, particularly given her explanation and the fact that you've been happy about her MH work so far, it would be unfair to draw conclusions about what her behavior in the future will be, based on her membership in a faith.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ICU812* 
"*Will she continue to leave scripture around?"* Not if you tell her not to *"Will she try to brainwash my kids?"* NO *"Is it part of her religion to convert us?"* NO *"Does she reflexively disrespect us or feel 'sorry' for us that we're not saved?"* NO *"How the heck is this going to affect how she takes care of my kids?"* Its not gonna affect anything, i'm sure she will take care of your kids with the utmost respect and caring that anyone else would. We are just "normal" people like anyone else, as far as normal goes







some are crazy







:







you can find all kinds just like you can find all kinds in other religions. HTH









I'm in the process of leaving the JW religion for various reasons, and I just had to jump in here with my perspective. First, yes, prosilitizing is a part of their religion. Not only is it a part of the religion, it is a MAJOR part, as you are not even counted as a JW if you do not do it. Even if you attend church three times a week, you still do not count as a JW if you do not go out and preach. Converting people is not a requirement, so technically the above poster was right, but preaching, which is what you are talking about, is a part of the religion. She may be what is called a 'pioneer', since you say she only works for you part time. Pioneers put 70 hours a month into the preaching work, and generally a lot more gung ho about preaching to people than the average JW.

Also, what she reflexively thinks of you and your family is this, you are 'worldly' people. 'Worldy' or 'wicked ones' will be destroyed at armageddon, very very soon. Yes, they believe that aramgeddon is coming very soon and only JW's, and maybe a couple other random people that never had the oppurtunity to be preached to by a JW, will survive. JW's have an us versus them mentality, you and your family are 'them', 'worldly' and 'wicked'. Since she beleives that armageddon is coming very, very soon, and your family will be destroyed, as she becomes more attached to your family she will also want to preach to you more so that you will not die. It is very sad really, and I am very ashamed I ever believed such a thing, but I was born into it, so at least I have that excuse.

I am not sure that this will affect how she will take care of your kids. She will not be able to allow herself to become as emotionally attached to them as anyone else would, as she truly believes that they will die very soon if you and your dh do not change you wicked ways. JW's naturally put up walls between themselves and 'worldly' people, I know because those walls are starting to come down for me. I am sure she is a very good person and very honest as most JW's are. You have nothing to fear by having her in your home in that regard.

One last thing, just a heads up on the tract. It is a world wide tract compaign going on right now with the JW's. The JW's believe that before armageddon can happen, there will be what is called a great tribulation, which will start when the end of false religion and a declaration of peace and security is achieved globaly. "False Religion" is any religion that is not Jehovah's Witness, since they of course are true religion. Did you read the tract? It tells how we can identify "true" relgion, and is rather pointed in how it condems "false religion". It is very offensive to many groups of people.


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

Sorry to get off topic, but does anyone know where I can view the latest tract online?

I am curious now.







:


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz* 
Sorry to get off topic, but does anyone know where I can view the latest tract online?

I am curious now.







:

Here it is; http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/122327/1.ashx


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## CryPixie83 (Jan 27, 2004)

Am I the only person who has never had a preaching problem? The JW's knock on my door regularly, they offer me their pamphlet, I say thank you, they say thank you, we wish one another a nice day and they go to the next house.







:

My dh and I were rofl at the trenchcoat-clad, cat-eating pagan thing though


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## helen_emily (Jun 13, 2006)

OP: Good on you for keeping an eye on your new MH. I work as a nanny and it worries me when new families leave me with their children right away! Someone could have great credentials but you still need to spend time around them!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz* 
If you feel like you have to pay attention to that degree, has your trust of her been compromised? It seems like it might have... ...You shouldn't have to "watch" her to make sure she's not doing anything like that, and whether or not she would, if you feel like she MIGHT... right or wrong...

It's true that if you employ someone they should feel "right" to you... But a parent _should_ watch anyone new who is interacting with their children! It sometimes takes time for certain personality traits to come out (one that I can think of is a "short fuse" or bad temper - you wouldn't see this until the child had done something frustrating!) and without that first period of observation you would be far more likely to miss something!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz* 
Maybe you should consider that in deciding whether or not to continue to employe her. Just something to think about.

I don't know about the US, but in Australia this would be considered unfair dismissal - discriminating against someone because of their religion! If she _continues_ to preach after a request not to it would be reasonable to look at letting her go. But as it is if she doesn't bring up anything like this again, then the OP has no grounds for dismissal. (according to our law anyhow)

HTH

ETA:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lyricc* 
Group numbah two didn't listen. They kept coming back, leaving books of mormon on my doorstep, I was a "hopeless godless pagan, wallowing in sin, begging to be saved".. *snort*.. well, finally I had it. My boyfriend at the time just moved in with me, and one night (NIGHT!) they came to the door. I looked through the peephole, saw who it was, and announced it to my boyfriend. He quickly said he'd answer the door.. when i looked back at him, he had took off all his clothes, except for his pagan pendant necklace, put on his leather trenchcoat (open), grabbed a one foot hunting knife from the wall, and then picked up my cat.. and opened the door, holding said cat by scruff of neck, knife in the other had as though he was about to eat, coat open, williy waving, and BTW, he's six foot five.

Rofl! Seriously! And I thought I was getting extreme with my method of scaring away religious doorknockers... The time they came by at 7am on a weekend morning (I work weekend nights, too!) I just answered the door in what I'd been wearing in bed - my poor old seethrough nightie and nothing else! The poor old guy managed to do his schpiel and I even took his literature, but he's never been back!


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## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

I also am not a Christian and I would be a little careful about hiring anyone of any religion who was particularly *strong* in their convictions. That said, I would probably give that particular woman the benefit of the doubt this one time. Since you already stated your preference, next time I would have a bigger issue.

Gotta go, DD is stirring. I do have to add, DD just learned to say "booba" (Buddha). I am so proud.


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## grisandole (Jan 11, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
Am I the only person who has never had a preaching problem? The JW's knock on my door regularly, they offer me their pamphlet, I say thank you, they say thank you, we wish one another a nice day and they go to the next house.







:

My dh and I were rofl at the trenchcoat-clad, cat-eating pagan thing though









This is my current experience with the Witnesses. Brief and cordial.


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## WNB (Apr 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grisandole* 
This is my current experience with the Witnesses. Brief and cordial.

ditto







they have been pleasant and neighborly, I can be the same. I didn't want to give them the impression I was considering joining their church though, and once I made that clear the visits stopped, which was also fine by me.


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## fyrflymommy (Jan 20, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristiMetz* 
Sorry to get off topic, but does anyone know where I can view the latest tract online?

I am curious now.







:

Whoops...edited bcuz I see someone already posted the jehovahs-witness.com site! Check out the "Best of.." forum while yer there...

fyrfly--a former JW


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## spero (Apr 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CryPixie83* 
Am I the only person who has never had a preaching problem? The JW's knock on my door regularly, they offer me their pamphlet, I say thank you, they say thank you, we wish one another a nice day and they go to the next house.







:

You're lucky. I was once in the house cleaning, and heard my then 3 and 5 year olds (who were playing in the sandpile just outside the open window) speaking to somebody (adult voices) outside. We live on a private road, and at that time there was nobody else here who would have been around to talk to them. My view of the visitors was blocked by the shed, so I ran outside to see whom they were talking to.

A JW couple was "witnessing" to them.







I was majorly pissed, told them to put me on their "never visit this house again" list, and warned them never to trepass on my property AGAIN.

Not long after that, I was grocery shopping with the kids and a bunch of JWs were proselytizing *specifically* to pre-teens and teens who were hanging out alone in the parking lot.







: They were actually inviting kids to "come view a video in our van, it will only take a few minutes"!!!







: I immediately found the manager and told him that JWs were practicing illegal solicitation (to KIDS, no less!) in the parking lot.

Omigosh, I couldn't get over the nerve! The group in my area really pushes the limits - they must be desperate for members.

To the OP - I'd be very cautious, and keep your ears open at all times!


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RainCoastMama* 
Jennica, this was a truly educational post. My MH did state that she was content to only work for us 15 hrs a week and no other job as she was very involved in her church's activities - it all makes sense - maybe she's a pioneer as you stated.

Funny note - she did mention that she swears that she came to my house once to hand out info, and that I was very nice, told her the baby was in the bath and wished her a good day







Thank gods I didn't slam the door...








(we never do that...my religion has the utmost respect for difference and variety - one goal, many paths...)

I just wanted to add, that as a JW I did work children and I never tried preaching to them. Since your MH only works part time, and you guys are around, I would think that she would be fine with the kids. However, it is an individual thing as to whether or not she will keep trying to preach to your family or not. If she tried to preach again, then I would take that as an indication that her personality wont allow her not to. I was thinking that working with your family might be a good experience for her. It might open up her mind a little to see that 'pagan's' are good people just like everyone else, and don't deserve to die simply because they worship in a different way. I would just keep my eye on her for a awhile and see how it goes.


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## Chavelamomela (Sep 25, 2006)

I had a somewhat related experience with my babysitter (sorta).

We are Observant Jews, and we hired a wonderful bbsitter, who is a 7th day adventist. She is terrific.

One day, when I was in the house w. bbsitter and ds, I overheard her singing a song (sounded like a nursery song) to Ds. I had never heard it before, and so I listened in...and then one of the words was "Jesus". Now, I don't have a problem with that for her kids, her church, etc, but as our Jewish beliefs are not the same as christianity, I respectfully asked her not to sing that song (or any other religious song) to our son. She totally understood, and I also knew it was an accident - this was just a child-oriented song she had in her head, she was not trying to convert my son to her religion. She now sings him more generic songs without any religious connection (think Mary had a little lamb, twinkle twinkle, where is thumbkin...)

Did it make me think? Sure, but we also knew that our bbsitter did not do it on purpose. She totally has respected our other religious rules of our house, including respecting our kosher home and the restrictions that our religious life entails. We have been able to deal with issues like this in a loving and respectful manner.

So as long as she understands and respects that your religious life is a non-negotiable before she enters your home, I don't think you'll have a problem.


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## ollineeba (Apr 12, 2005)

Jennica, thanks for all the info in your posts.. it's something DH and I have been trying to understand since his best friend became JW 2 yrs ago. He has really distanced himself and my DH is just heartbroken over the loss of a friend.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennica* 
I am not sure that this will affect how she will take care of your kids. She will not be able to allow herself to become as emotionally attached to them as anyone else would, as she truly believes that they will die very soon if you and your dh do not change you wicked ways. JW's naturally put up walls between themselves and 'worldly' people, I know because those walls are starting to come down for me. I am sure she is a very good person and very honest as most JW's are. You have nothing to fear by having her in your home in that regard.

This makes me sad as I have ALWAYS believed it was the reasons DH's family ignores my children. DH said it is not, but in your post it looks like it is. (He was also born into it.)


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama2babybeans* 
Jennica, thanks for all the info in your posts.. it's something DH and I have been trying to understand since his best friend became JW 2 yrs ago. He has really distanced himself and my DH is just heartbroken over the loss of a friend.

That's too bad. The religion encourages it's members to "be no part of the world". They can associate with "worldly" people, but only with work or sometimes with unbelieving relatives, but are encouraged to not associate with "worldy" friends.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
This makes me sad as I have ALWAYS believed it was the reasons DH's family ignores my children. DH said it is not, but in your post it looks like it is. (He was also born into it.)

Yes, and the sad thing is that they don't know they are doing it, so it isn't really something you could ever have a meaningful discussion about. It is more of psychological thing that is done subconsiously, in order to not go insane with your beliefs. If you actually think about it, you do start to go insane, which is one thing that happened to me durring other difficulties I was having in my life and this helped open my eyes about the religion.


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RainCoastMama* 
Will she continue to leave scripture around? Will she try to brainwash my kids? (I don't think so...) Is it part of her religion to convert us? Does she reflexively disrespect us or feel 'sorry' for us that we're not saved? How the heck is this going to affect how she takes care of my kids???


RainCoastMama,
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness (I am no longer a member of the church) so I can probably help. As far as leaving scripture around she should not continue to do so after she has been asked not to. It is possible she will. JW's are taught to be subtle with their message. She might hear you mention something one day and try and work it into a conversation. Birthdays and holidays are a perfect example of this. Yes it is part of her religion to convert you. However she is supposed to respect any boundries you set. Although if she cares for your family she is taught that it is important to share the message of salvation with those you love. I would take it as a compliment not as an offense. She most likely does feel sorry for you in a way because she wishes you could feel what she feels being a witness. Witnesses believe they are chosen by God to live forever in paradise. How could you not want to share that with people?

There may be some things she will be uncomfortable about and you need to be firm. If she feels Christmas shouldn't be followed by the family as an example she may try to share information with your children on the birth of Christ. Personally the way my mother taught us was to respect other people's wishes once they refused the message however we weren't discouraged from saying Santa was fake or that Halloween was a devilish holiday.

I think it really depends on the person you are dealing with and how she was taught. As far as the brainwashing goes your kids would have to be endoctrinated in order for that to really happen. Their practicies of shunning etc are typically only performed on their own members and not on those they consider "worldly". Please feel free to PM me if you have more questions.


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

.


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## lyttlewon (Mar 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennica* 
I'm in the process of leaving the JW religion for various reasons, and I just had to jump in here with my perspective.

Jennica,
If you ever need to talk please PM me. I left 12 years ago and can probably help with any questions or support you might need. I also know of an awesome support group online that is made up of former Witnesses. It is going to be hard for you to shed the teachings depending on how ingrained you were in the religion. I was raised from birth so it was quite traumatic for me.


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## southernboy66 (Nov 9, 2006)

Your wishes should be granted, if you say you are not interested then she should do her job and not press the issue any further. There also seems to be some confusion as to why we do what we do and if we are doing a "converting" work. I have taken some information from some Watchtower articles. They are from a 1964, 2003 and 2004 Watchtowers. I hope this clears things up a bit. I would also like to thank the people who say they are kind and polite to JW's when they come to their homes. We have people call the police on us, cuss us after they say they are "Christians", call their dogs on us, and many other abuses. During the latest tract campaign, we have had people crumple the tract up right in front of us. One person even lit it on fire. We know most people don't want to hear what we have to say but just remember we are in a life saving work and we are only following Jesus example and doing what he told his followers to do. We are just messengers and no one can be converted unless they have the right heart condition and God draws the individual as can be seen from the Scripture at John 6:44.

• *Is it right to say that Jehovah's witnesses do a converting work or a proselyting work?*According to Webster's Third New International Dictionary, to convert is "to bring over or persuade (a person or group) to a particular belief, view, course, party, or principle often from a previously held position" or "to bring about a spiritual conversion in (as a religious conversion in a person or group)." A proselyte is defined as "one who has been converted from one religious faith to another." Hence, to proselyte is "to convert from one religion, belief, opinion, or party to another." A proselytizer is therefore "one that makes or tries to make proselytes."
To his followers *Jesus said: "Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, . . . teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you." (Matt. 28:19, 20)* Were they not to do proselyting work, to make disciples? Indeed they were, and Christ's modern-day followers do the same thing. If turning pagans from false worship to Judaism was proselyting them, then, also, turning pagans to Christianity means proselyting them. Of course, they do not use force or unchristian methods in their preaching work. No coercion is employed to bring about conversion. Instead, Biblical truths are taught today by Jehovah's Christian witnesses. *Those with righteous hearts respond to the truth. It is not the personal force of the minister that changes the person, for Christ said: "No man can come to me unless the Father, who sent me, draws him." (John 6:44)* It is the truth of God's Word, as preached by Jehovah's witnesses, that sets persons free from religious bondage. (John 8:32) Those who hear the message of truth must individually decide whether to accept or reject it. They determine whether to turn around, to make a change in life, to quit being fashioned after this system of things and become converts to true Christianity.-Rom. 12:2.
But Jehovah's witnesses are doing a proselyting work, a work of conversion, just like that of the early Christians. Due to their ministry, hundreds of thousands of persons have abandoned Babylon the Great. And we joyfully look to the future, for there still remains some time for others to heed the admonition: "Get out of her, my people."-Rev. 18:4.
Pressuring people to change their religion is wrong. Certainly, Jehovah's Witnesses do not act in such a way. Rather, like the first-century Christians, they preach the good news to everyone. Any who respond voluntarily are invited to take in more knowledge by means of a Bible study. Such interested ones learn to put faith, solidly based on accurate Bible knowledge, in God and his purposes. As a result, they call on God's name, Jehovah, for salvation. (Romans 10:13, 14, 17) Whether they will accept the good news or not is a matter of personal choice. There is no compulsion. If there were, conversion would be meaningless. To be acceptable to God, worship must come from the heart.-Deuteronomy 6:4, 5; 10:12.
There are many reasons to witness from house to house. Each time we call on a householder, we try to plant a seed of Scriptural truth. By making return visits, we seek to water it. And there can be a fine cumulative effect, for Paul wrote: "I planted, Apollos watered, but God kept making it grow." (1 Corinthians 3:6)
We do the work of evangelizers because lives are at stake. By preaching we can save ourselves and those who listen to us. (1 Timothy 4:16) If we knew that a person's life was endangered, would we make only one feeble attempt to help him? Hardly! Since salvation is involved, we make repeated calls at the homes of people. Circumstances keep on changing. Someone who is too busy to listen on one occasion may be willing to hear the Bible's message at another time. A different member of the family may answer the door, and that could lead to a Scriptural discussion.
Not only their circumstances but also the attitude of householders can change. For instance, the painful loss of a loved one in death may move an individual to listen to the Kingdom message. We hope to comfort the person, make him conscious of his spiritual need, and show how it can be satisfied.-Matthew 5:3, 4.
17 Foremost among our reasons for witnessing from house to house or engaging in other forms of the Christian ministry is the desire to have a share in making known Jehovah's name. (Exodus 9:16; Psalm 83:18)


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## sparkprincess (Sep 10, 2004)

This quote just made me think: if you do talk to her further be sure to give very specific example of the type of behavior you don't want to see. For example, I'm a Christian and even though I consider myself respectful of other religions, if someone came to me and said they were having a problem I WOULD respond by saying that I'll pray for them and their situation - I'm not going to "send out healing vibes" or whatever. I don't see how that could be disrespectful (again, this isn't about praying for a conversion, but just praying for a certain situation). And as a pp mentioned, because I'm Christian I'm sure "Christian" type things come flying out of my mouth all the time. Just like I hear people say they'll send out healing vibes or whatever - I wouldn't expect someone to say they are going to pray for me if they aren't into praying just because that's MY religion. Also, I think as long as she doesn't cross any lines it could be a good learning experience for your kids. Maybe not worry too much that if she says anything religious she'll "convert" your kids, ya know?

And again, just be very, very clear!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wombat* 







Sorry my mom was a JW. I bet she saw that house of yours FULL of 'pagan' ornaments and just felt you needed that JW tract desperately. My mom would always go around muttering about 'pagan' this and 'pagan' that and false religions.

I find JW's are like most other religions in that once you make it clear to them you have your own beliefs, they'll try to be respectful. *But it's like those Christians who even when they know you're not religious still say 'bless you' or 'I'll pray for you' all the time*. JW's are kinda programmed to 'save' people. If you're firm and clear about your expectations of her job, it'll probably not be a problem.

She's probably fine, just keep an eye on her.


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## southernboy66 (Nov 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jennica* 
That's too bad. The religion encourages it's members to "be no part of the world". They can associate with "worldly" people, but only with work or sometimes with unbelieving relatives, but are encouraged to not associate with "worldy" friends.


It is not our religion that encourages us to "be no part of the world", but Jesus through the Bible at John 17:16. This does not mean people exactly, Jehovah's Witnesses love everyone, that is one of the reasons why we go from door to door. There are several ways of being "no part of the world" all of them being taken from Jesus Christ's example. JW's do not get involved in political affairs of the world, we remain neutral. When Jesus was questioned by the Roman governor Pontius Pilate, he stated: "My kingdom is no part of this world." In response to a question as to Jesus' role, he told the governor: "For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth." (John 18:36,*37) When the Devil offered him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory, he refused. When the people wanted to make him king, he withdrew. (Matt. 4:8-10; John 6:15) Jehovah's Witnesses do not sidestep the fact that Jesus referred to the Devil as "the ruler of the world" and said that the Devil 'had no hold on him.' (John 14:30) They could see that Jesus did not seek involvement for himself or his followers in Rome's political system but that he was fully occupied with declaring "the good news of the kingdom of God."-Luke 4:43. We also shun the spirit of the world-its aims, ambitions, and hopes, as well as its selfish ways as brought out at John 2:15-17.

So please don't think we are shunning people when we say we are "no part of the world". We work shoulder to shoulder with people that are not JW's. Our children go to school with other children who are not JW's. In connection with avoiding the badness of the world and associating with God's people, the apostle Paul wrote: "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? .*.*. Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? .*.*. For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said: 'I shall reside among them and walk among them, and I shall be their God, and they will be my people.' '"Therefore get out from among them, and separate yourselves," says Jehovah, "and quit touching the unclean thing,'" '"and I will take you in.'" '"And I shall be a father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to me," says Jehovah the Almighty.'" Notice the repeated advice about avoiding wrong association, 'from these turn away,' 'get out from among them,' 'separate yourselves,' and then 'I will take you in.' There is to be no partnership, no fellowship, no portion, no sharing with unbelievers. In other words, no association with them if one is to associate with God.-2*Cor. 6:14-18; Ezek. 37:27, RS; Isa. 52:11; Ezek. 20:41, RS. Paul warned Christians against associating with those who had no hope in a resurrection and hence no real incentive to right conduct. "Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits. Wake up to soberness in a righteous way and do not practice sin, for some are without knowledge of God." (1*Cor. 15:33, 34)


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## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

I'm sorry


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

Coming in late here, but I wanted to just add that we are a Hindu ecclectic family and we were targed by one JW lady and she always brought a younger woman with her. They came by several times. Dh talked to them once and told them we were Hindu. The next week they brought a tract that was specifically targeted at Hindus. It had Hindu gods in the book, people wearing traditional Hindu clothing in the act of worship. It explained how Hinduism was a false religion and why. The information was incorrect in many places. At the end of the book it showed JW-Indian familes, without bindis, wearing traditional dress and praying in the Christian manner. As if to say you can shed your religion but not your culture. Here's a little tidbit I found on-line: http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/...article_02.htm The definition of Karma is not even correct!

Just be prepared if you happen to get that one from her. I hope that she respects your wishes and keeps being the terrrific nanny that she is.


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## sunbaby (Sep 30, 2002)

havent had a chance to read all 3 pages, but read enough that i just wanted to say, i went to high school with two JWs, and spent many lunches with one, and honestly, they were just two regular girls. never tryed to convert me, only looked a little embarraseed when i asked them what they got for christmas, and i was gently reminded that they didnt celebrate christmas.







never felt any judgement whatsoever, and i was openly atheist at that time. they did tell me that they went door to door, as it was required, but it seemed that they did that work in a certain time and place- never at school.


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## fyrflymommy (Jan 20, 2003)

southernboy66 said:


> This does not mean people exactly, Jehovah's Witnesses love everyone, that is one of the reasons why we go from door to door. . JW's do not get involved in political affairs of the world, we remain neutral.
> QUOTE]
> 
> You forgot to mention that another reason JWs go door-to-door is because they will have bloodguilt if they don't....
> ...


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *southernboy66* 
So please don't think we are shunning people when we say we are "no part of the world". We work shoulder to shoulder with people that are not JW's. Our children go to school with other children who are not JW's. In connection with avoiding the badness of the world and associating with God's people, the apostle Paul wrote: "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? .*.*. Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? .*.*. For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said: 'I shall reside among them and walk among them, and I shall be their God, and they will be my people.' '"Therefore get out from among them, and separate yourselves," says Jehovah, "and quit touching the unclean thing,'" '"and I will take you in.'" '"And I shall be a father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to me," says Jehovah the Almighty.'" Notice the repeated advice about avoiding wrong association, 'from these turn away,' 'get out from among them,' 'separate yourselves,' and then 'I will take you in.' There is to be no partnership, no fellowship, no portion, no sharing with unbelievers. In other words, no association with them if one is to associate with God.-2*Cor. 6:14-18; Ezek. 37:27, RS; Isa. 52:11; Ezek. 20:41, RS. Paul warned Christians against associating with those who had no hope in a resurrection and hence no real incentive to right conduct. "Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits. Wake up to soberness in a righteous way and do not practice sin, for some are without knowledge of God." (1*Cor. 15:33, 34)

So what are YOU doing on a discussion board full of lawles sinning unbelievers who the bible clearly tells you not to associate with? At your last district convention you were harshly warned to stay off the internet, even agreeing to a resolution that stated you would not go online and associate with "worldy" people. Yet here you are. Don't you know that we may corrupt you by showing you the truth about your religion. Like what the above poster said about the UN. It is true, see; http://www.un.org/dpi/ngosection/pdfs/watchtower.pdf Why does a religion that condemns the UN join it for 10 years? And why do they threaten to disfellowship any member that talks to any other member about their UN involvment? There are plenty of other things I could tell you about your religion that sheds a lot of light on whether or not it is the one and only true religion. So you better get off the evil internet and away from us devil possessed people of the world, before your fragile faith is shaken.


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## GEMINI69 (Jun 30, 2005)

Go to http://www.watchtower.org/
I agree with what Jennica said, I am disfellowshipped (ex JW). I was not born into it though, but I would never go back!
Jennica, you sound bitter and it will eventually pass. Good luck to you (wait your not suppose to say that) If your family are JW it may be hard but believe me it's worth it to live without all the guilt. Feel free to PM me if you like.

Donnie- fully attached Mommy to MSMF 01-20-2006



































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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GEMINI69* 
Go to http://www.watchtower.org/
I agree with what Jennica said, I am disfellowshipped (ex JW). I was not born into it though, but I would never go back!
Jennica, you sound bitter and it will eventually pass. Good luck to you (wait your not suppose to say that) If your family are JW it may be hard but believe me it's worth it to live without all the guilt. Feel free to PM me if you like.

Umm, yeah, I'm a little bitter. Sorry I brought that into this thread








:

Leaving was the right decision for me, and it has been very freeing. Thanks for the advice


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

Coming in a little bit late here...

But I am also one of Jehovah's Witnesses. All those harsh comments from other posters aside, to the original poster, If you tell your nanny in no uncertain terms that you do not wish for your family and your children be involved in any religious conversation, then she won't do it, and she will respect your wishes.

But as a side note, you must also respect her for who she is. Jehovah's Witnesses whole lives revolve around their faith. If your nanny is one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and did not just pick that tract up from off the front step or something like that (quite possible from what you describe in your first post), she won't be involved in your family's holidays.

Your children may become curious as to why she is not involved, and she may take the time to simply explain to them why. The same way a nanny from another culture may have certain traditions, and may find herself explaining what these traditions mean to the curious children, so may be the situation your nanny finds herself in about her faith. You have to ask yourself how you will handle this should the time come? How will you ask her to handle it should the children become curious about certain things about her? It would seem to me that you should probably sit down and have a discussion with her about it.


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## GalateaDunkel (Jul 22, 2005)

My stepmom is a disfellowshipped JW and when I was a kid we lived a block away from the nearest kingdom hall. Several of the neighbors, and members of dsm's family who lived nearby, were all JW's. They used to come to the house to talk to try to get her to come back and talk to us kids about it. Because they believe strongly in parental authority, particularly of the father, they were always very conscientious about how my non-JW dad felt about this, the fact that my stepmom had been involved with them before she even met him notwithstanding. If she had said "no, I've had it with this religion, go away," or if my dad, as the man of the house, had said "don't come here anymore, don't talk to our kids" I'm sure they would have dropped it. There was no social shunning of dsm for being disfellowshipped, and no hard sell or judgment when we were in her JW relatives' homes.

In high school I had a friend who was JW. She and I talked about it, but I never really heard her talking about it to other people and I got the sense that she was only open to talking to me about it because of my family experience. One time my boyfriend and I wanted to bring her to a theme park or something with a group of people, and since she normally didn't socialize outside of school I was selected (as the JW-savvy person in the group) to call up her house and sell her dad on the idea. He politely explained to me that in and of itself he would have no problem, but she had younger siblings who were only allowed to socialize with JW children outside of school, and he felt it would be unfair and a bad example to have different rules for the eldest. After high school she attended the elite private university in our city as a commuter student, to prepare for her chosen career.

JWs do have the specific belief in formal proselytization, but in day to day interaction they are less judgmental and less obsessed with the idea that nonbelievers are evil than many fundamentalist Baptist-style etc Protestant evangelicals I have known. In general I would have to say that they are very gentle people.


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## Marilyn82 (Jan 26, 2005)

Oh man, there has been aLOT of misrepresentation on this thread! I'm a JW too, we're normal...seriously.

Don't worry, most JWs are pretty cool people. Sure there is a range of personalities, just like with anything else, but you will probably have a good experience with your MH!


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

My first nanny was Born Again. We didn't not learn until about year into her tenure. We new she was very, very religious but not to the full extent of her beliefs,

As my son got older she became more open in her beliefs to the point pf proselytizing. As she became closer to us ans saw that we had no intention of raising our child in the faith she felt it was her duty to convert us. She brought my son in bible camp at her church. Did she think he wouldn't tell us? She gave him jesus coloring books. We had many, many talks w/ her to no avail. The breaking point was her leaving us a tract that basically said:

"John did every thing right in his life. He worked hard and loved his family. He ate well and exercised. But last Tuesday John died leaving his family alone for John didn't so one thing right. He did not accept jesus into his life"

It was then we realized that no matter how much we loved her and she loved us she thought we were damned. It was impacting our relationship and her ability to do the job. It was one of the reason we let her go.

My point is that the JW may be wonderful and loving and caring but eventually she needs to do what she is meant to do. Our nannies beliefs were to save the ones you love and when she realized she couldn't save us she was going to do everything to save our son.

She is still a part of lives on a casual basis (she had practically been family!) but I no longer felt she spend that much time alone w/ our son.

I would continue to talk to her so that she is aware of how you feel and play it by ear. If she can keep religion and job separate you should be fine.


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## jennica (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marilyn82* 
Oh man, there has been aLOT of misrepresentation on this thread! I'm a JW too, we're normal...seriously.

I was a JW for 31 years, and nothing on this thread said anything contrary to the truth that they believe in. It was simply said in a way that a JW would not say it. However nothing was false or misrepresented.


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## kimiij (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grisandole* 
This is my current experience with the Witnesses. Brief and cordial.

Me too...


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## jessieann (May 4, 2007)

I'm sorry for bumping such an old thread, but I came across it using the search function and I just had to post.

I spent 5 years working as a nanny before taking a year off to work at an office job. Recently I decided that I missed being a nanny, and I wanted to find a new family to go work for. I have experience, excellent references, I drive, don't smoke, yadda yadda yadda (here's a post I made on craigslist looking for a job, so you can get a better idea of what I'm all about: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/398114962.html) so you think it would be easy, right? No.

I began studying with the JW's approx 6 months ago, and I've made the decision to go forward with converting to the religion, which means I have certain obligations (meetings that all witnesses attend on a weekly basis) and I cannot work past a certain time (6:30pm) on Monday and Wednesday evenings. I've had a couple phone interviews with people, and whenever the topic of hours and scheduling comes up, I mention that I have a religious comittment on those days and cannot work past 6:30pm. I've been questioned as to which religion, and I always reply honestly, that I'm studying to become a Witness. People immediately change their whole attitude once I mention this, and one woman even called me back this morning to tell me that she spoke with her husband and that he didnt feel comfortable with a Witness caring for their children, and that she would have to cancel my in person interview. Some people don't even get past "relgious comittment." They don't even ask what religion, and I've heard things like "oh, we're not religious people, I don't think this would work." Are you kidding me? I can't work for you because I believe in God?

I don't understand what the big deal is. I have wonderful references and it's not like I'm going to try to convert their children---I fully understand that work is work, play is play, and religion is religion....and you shouldn't ever mix them up with each other! I've even explained this to the potential employers over the phone, and they don't seem to care.

I don't want to have to lie--obviously that's not very Christian like, and if they ever found out the truth, I doubt they'd have any trust left in me. I'm just so frustrated that I can't find a job, all because of how I view God. I'm more than qualified for any of the positions I was trying to get, and it really hurts to be judged this way because of my religion.

Well, anyway, I guess thats the end of my rant. I'd appreciate any feedback from anyone on this forum, and I'm certainly going to go back and carefully read all the responses above mine.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

As an Atheist who married into a JW family I can tell you that while you don't
"intentionally" try to "convert" them certain aspects of your religion are overbearing. You may not even realize you are doing it. It might just be part of "who you are" but it comes across as preaching to people who are not religious.

Also think about this,

What are you going to do when the children want you to read them a Christmas book? What will you say to them if they give you a Christmas present? How about birthdays? Halloween? Easter?

Will you refuse to read book that talks about the easter bunny or ghosts and goblins to them? If so, and they ask why what will you tell them? That it is against your religion and why? Depending on the age of the child that could come across as teaching my children things that do not fall within my beliefs.

I mean think of how many times kids come home and say Oh this must be true cause teacher said so? So if the nanny says having a birthday party is bad it MUST BE.

And yes, I am sorry, because you believe in god means you have beliefs that I do not agree with. And when it comes to caring for my children I don't want someone who is going to share beliefs, however intentionally, that I don't agree with. When the children are old enough to understand that there are many different beliefs and are old enough to think on their own maybe.. but really young children can't think on their own and they look up to their care givers and believe what they tell them.

FWIW. I don't leave my kid with my MIL either. It has taken me 10 years to get her to keep them to herself and stop trying to share them with me. I don't trust her not to share them with my children when I am not present. It is just "part of who she is" and she doesn't see anything wrong with it. She is trying to "save" her grandchildren. What is to stop you from trying to "save" these children that you will surely come to care for?


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessieann* 

Well, anyway, I guess thats the end of my rant. I'd appreciate any feedback from anyone on this forum, and I'm certainly going to go back and carefully read all the responses above mine.

If you genuinely don't understand where the negative reaction is coming from I would suggest spending some time online reading sites of ex witnesses and other skeptics about the religion and maybe that will give you better perspective.

Or let's try thinking about it from another perspective... What would be your requirements of a child care giver for your child? Would you hire someone who was an atheist who believed a core responsibility of their atheism was to testify to that atheism to people, including your children? Would you hire someone that you believed was in a cult?


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## jessieann (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
As an Atheist who married into a JW family I can tell you that while you don't
"intentionally" try to "convert" them certain aspects of your religion are overbearing. You may not even realize you are doing it. It might just be part of "who you are" but it comes across as preaching to people who are not religious.

Also think about this,

What are you going to do when the children want you to read them a Christmas book? What will you say to them if they give you a Christmas present? How about birthdays? Halloween? Easter?

Will you refuse to read book that talks about the easter bunny or ghosts and goblins to them? If so, and they ask why what will you tell them? That it is against your religion and why? Depending on the age of the child that could come across as teaching my children things that do not fall within my beliefs.

I mean think of how many times kids come home and say Oh this must be true cause teacher said so? So if the nanny says having a birthday party is bad it MUST BE.

And yes, I am sorry, because you believe in god means you have beliefs that I do not agree with. And when it comes to caring for my children I don't want someone who is going to share beliefs, however intentionally, that I don't agree with. When the children are old enough to understand that there are many different beliefs and are old enough to think on their own maybe.. but really young children can't think on their own and they look up to their care givers and believe what they tell them.

FWIW. I don't leave my kid with my MIL either. It has taken me 10 years to get her to keep them to herself and stop trying to share them with me. I don't trust her not to share them with my children when I am not present. It is just "part of who she is" and she doesn't see anything wrong with it. She is trying to "save" her grandchildren. What is to stop you from trying to "save" these children that you will surely come to care for?

I understand your points----but to me it's no different than if I were Jewish and working for a Christian family, or visa versa (I actually did work for a Jewish family once, and we didn't run into any problems at all.) I would never in a thousand years say something or teach a child something that went against their parents wishes. I would never tell a child that something they do (like having a bday, celebrating halloween, etc) was bad. If anything, I'd just laugh and say something along the lines of "oh, I'm too old to dress up for halloween!" I believe in remaining very neutral with non-JW's. It's only fair that I respect their beliefs and customs, because I believe I deserve the same respect from them. When the child from the jewish family would ask me why I didn't celebrate the jewish holidays, I just said "because my family isn't Jewish" and he was completely okay with that.

I'm just curious....why did you marry into a JW family, if you don't share those sort of beliefs? That is, assuming your husband is still a Witness.....he may not be any longer, and in that case, I could understand it a little better, but still, you had to know that your children would be exposed to it, being as his mother is a witness, no?


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## jessieann (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
If you genuinely don't understand where the negative reaction is coming from I would suggest spending some time online reading sites of ex witnesses and other skeptics about the religion and maybe that will give you better perspective.

Or let's try thinking about it from another perspective... What would be your requirements of a child care giver for your child? Would you hire someone who was an atheist who believed a core responsibility of their atheism was to testify to that atheism to people, including your children? Would you hire someone that you believed was in a cult?

If I were hiring someone to take care of my child, I would look for someone mature, responsible, experienced and that I felt I could trust. I don't care if they're jewish, christian, pagen, atheist, etc. What it boils down to is their ability to provide a safe, loving and fun environment for the child. Like I said in my original post----work is work, religion is religion. I haven't ever, nor do I ever plan or intend on mixing the two.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessieann* 
I'm just curious....why did you marry into a JW family, if you don't share those sort of beliefs? That is, assuming your husband is still a Witness.....he may not be any longer, and in that case, I could understand it a little better, but still, you had to know that your children would be exposed to it, being as his mother is a witness, no?

My husband is non-active. We had not only been dating awhile, but had already decided to get married AND I was pregnant before he even TOLD me his family was JW. He was embarrassed that he was JW. He knew that people see a JW and run the other way. And to be honest, had he told me that from the beginning I probably WOULD have run the other way. But since he was non-active I guess he didn't consider himself a JW enough to tell until he HAD to.


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## jessieann (May 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aniT* 
My husband is non-active. We had not only been dating awhile, but had already decided to get married AND I was pregnant before he even TOLD me his family was JW. He was embarrassed that he was JW. He knew that people see a JW and run the other way. And to be honest, had he told me that from the beginning I probably WOULD have run the other way. But since he was non-active I guess he didn't consider himself a JW enough to tell until he HAD to.

see, thats what bothers me. you admitted that you would have run the other way if you knew he was a witness beforehand....but look, you gave him a chance because you didn't know, and he was just a normal guy like anyone else. That's what bugs me. People can't see me as just a normal girl that would take good care of their children. They've labeled me and assumed that I'm some crazy bible thumping weirdo that's going to poison the minds of their children.....but thats not the case at all!


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## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

* Never mind. Not getting into this discussion again.


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## AlmostAPpropriate (Oct 23, 2004)

Jessieann, how long have you been around your new religion? I do think it's terrible to discriminate on the basis of religion. I take it that you do too.

In any job outside caregiver I dont think it would be a problem. It's just that with a child's nanny you want them to become like part of the family, for a real attachment to develop and give your child that security. Its unlike any other field.

That said, as a Jehovah Witness, do you decide who your close companions will be based on their religion? Would you allow your children to develop "best friends" who were not part of your religion? As your approach conversion, have you been encouraged to break ties or distance yourself from former friends?


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## delfin (Jul 11, 2007)

I agree with waht other post say, working with kids is not just another job. And I understand parents looking for caregivers whose beliefs are in tune with theirs.
Its religion, and its kids, and its something very personal, and people tendo to get protective of what they believe is correct.
Why dont you try to find a family within your church?


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## FancyPants (Dec 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lyricc* 
Group numbah two didn't listen. They kept coming back, leaving books of mormon on my doorstep, I was a "hopeless godless pagan, wallowing in sin, begging to be saved".. *snort*.. well, finally I had it. My boyfriend at the time just moved in with me, and one night (NIGHT!) they came to the door. I looked through the peephole, saw who it was, and announced it to my boyfriend. He quickly said he'd answer the door.. when i looked back at him, he had took off all his clothes, except for his pagan pendant necklace, put on his leather trenchcoat (open), grabbed a one foot hunting knife from the wall, and then picked up my cat.. and opened the door, holding said cat by scruff of neck, knife in the other had as though he was about to eat, coat open, williy waving, and BTW, he's six foot five.

they never came back again.


lmao

Oh ty! I haven't read all 4 pages but I really needed a laugh.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessieann* 
see, thats what bothers me. you admitted that you would have run the other way if you knew he was a witness beforehand....but look, you gave him a chance because you didn't know, and he was just a normal guy like anyone else. That's what bugs me. People can't see me as just a normal girl that would take good care of their children. They've labeled me and assumed that I'm some crazy bible thumping weirdo that's going to poison the minds of their children.....but thats not the case at all!

Your observations are irrelevant. Since DH is and was a non active member when I meet him, he is obviously not the same person he would of been had he remained part of the religion his mother raised him in.

He is a "normal" guy cause he no longer buys into his mother's beliefs.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Roar* 
Also, I'd suggest that care is different from just another job. To most religion is a pretty fundamental part their approach to parenting and life. I don't think it is honest to treat it as it is like the difference between driving a Toyota or a Ford. From my perspective it is reasonable that a parent would seek to leave their children not just with a generally responsible person, but a person they are confident would come as close to possible as reflecting essential belief systems they have.









:

I would no more leave my children with someone who would allow them to CIO or who would spank them than I would leave them with someone who has fundamentally different spiritual beliefs than I do. (yea.. I don't feel like fixing that run on.







)


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## incorrigible (Jun 3, 2007)

.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

When hiring someone to work in your business it is discrimination to not hire someone because of their religion. When hiring someone to take care of your children, someone who is going to be shaping who they are and who they become, I don't believe it is a discrimination to hire someone whose belief system matches your own.

BTW.. they have a word for us. It is "worldly." Maybe it doesn't sound as mean and nasty as other names, but it is still a name used to refer to anyone who is not a JW.


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## RainCoastMama (Oct 13, 2004)

* Again...So. Not. Participating. In. This.


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## Brigianna (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessieann* 
I'm sorry for bumping such an old thread, but I came across it using the search function and I just had to post.

I spent 5 years working as a nanny before taking a year off to work at an office job. Recently I decided that I missed being a nanny, and I wanted to find a new family to go work for. I have experience, excellent references, I drive, don't smoke, yadda yadda yadda (here's a post I made on craigslist looking for a job, so you can get a better idea of what I'm all about: http://newjersey.craigslist.org/kid/398114962.html) so you think it would be easy, right? No.

I began studying with the JW's approx 6 months ago, and I've made the decision to go forward with converting to the religion, which means I have certain obligations (meetings that all witnesses attend on a weekly basis) and I cannot work past a certain time (6:30pm) on Monday and Wednesday evenings. I've had a couple phone interviews with people, and whenever the topic of hours and scheduling comes up, I mention that I have a religious comittment on those days and cannot work past 6:30pm. I've been questioned as to which religion, and I always reply honestly, that I'm studying to become a Witness. People immediately change their whole attitude once I mention this, and one woman even called me back this morning to tell me that she spoke with her husband and that he didnt feel comfortable with a Witness caring for their children, and that she would have to cancel my in person interview. Some people don't even get past "relgious comittment." They don't even ask what religion, and I've heard things like "oh, we're not religious people, I don't think this would work." Are you kidding me? I can't work for you because I believe in God?

I don't understand what the big deal is. I have wonderful references and it's not like I'm going to try to convert their children---I fully understand that work is work, play is play, and religion is religion....and you shouldn't ever mix them up with each other! I've even explained this to the potential employers over the phone, and they don't seem to care.

I don't want to have to lie--obviously that's not very Christian like, and if they ever found out the truth, I doubt they'd have any trust left in me. I'm just so frustrated that I can't find a job, all because of how I view God. I'm more than qualified for any of the positions I was trying to get, and it really hurts to be judged this way because of my religion.

Well, anyway, I guess thats the end of my rant. I'd appreciate any feedback from anyone on this forum, and I'm certainly going to go back and carefully read all the responses above mine.

JessieAnn, I am not a Witness, but if I were looking for a nanny, and I lived in your area, I am sure that you would be exactly the kind of nanny I would want. It is horrible that you are being discriminated against because of your faith. There are families out there who are open-minded and would not hold your faith against you; I hope you can find one.


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## LilyGrace (Jun 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessieann* 
I've had a couple phone interviews with people, and whenever the topic of hours and scheduling comes up, I mention that I have a religious comittment on those days and cannot work past 6:30pm. I've been questioned as to which religion, and I always reply honestly, that I'm studying to become a Witness. People immediately change their whole attitude once I mention this, and one woman even called me back this morning to tell me that she spoke with her husband and that he didnt feel comfortable with a Witness caring for their children, and that she would have to cancel my in person interview. Some people don't even get past "relgious comittment." They don't even ask what religion, and I've heard things like "oh, we're not religious people, I don't think this would work." Are you kidding me? I can't work for you because I believe in God?

This has nothing to do with you being a JW, but I have to ask -

1. Why not just say you have prior committments on those days? Skip the religious part.

2. Why are you letting potential employers ask you an illegal question? And why are you answering? It has nothing to do with being proud of your faith but enabling prejudice and going around the law. If being a JW really would not affect your work, why not just say "I don't feel comfortable answering a question like that. It's illegal for you to ask".


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## ggs (Aug 6, 2007)

I agree with others that childcare is an area where parents/employers absolutely should use discretion when hiring. To me, that means finding a DCP who shares both my beliefs regarding child rearing, and my core values, including my religious values. After all, these are my children, and I need to be assured that, when they are away from me, they are being cared for in a manner consistent with what DH and I believe. Generally speaking, I wouldn't, then, feel comfortable with a JW watching my children.

However, given the situation described by jessieann--good references, experienced and qualified--I might be willing to overlook our religious incompatability if I felt assured that the DCP would keep her religious beliefs to herself. That, for me, could only be done on a case-by-case basis, and would really depend upon whether or not I felt the DCP was being sincere about not proselytizing to my family.


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Several posts in this thread have been removed for casting suspicion on a new poster. Remember, if there is an issue with another poster, or what they post is suspect, please report it to a moderator.

Thanks


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## Valkyrie9 (Sep 29, 2006)

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness by a believing mother, and my non-believing father just stepped back and let it happen for the sake of keeping our family together. (My mother would have left him in a minute if not for the JW mandate against divorce without adultery having been committed.) When I was seven years old, my mother and little brother and I were in the car heading to the meeting and my mother said, "Jehovah God is going to kill your father at Armageddon because your father doesn't believe in Jehovah's teachings." I cannot tell you the trauma it caused me--a seven year old having her mother telling her that God was going to kill her father. But that's a fundamental fact of that religion. It is also a fundamental fact behind why I will not let my mother anywhere near my daughter. I will not allow her to proseletyze to her under any circumstances.

Any individual JW could say that they'd never bring that to work with them. And they might very well believe that. But that whole organization can bring a tremendous amount of pressure onto individuals when they want to. My mother is mentally and emotionally incapable of not talking about her religion, regardless of whether it is appropriate or not. Say you're a good, God-fearing person and you hear an extremely convincing presentation from the pulpit saying that people you love absolutely have to change their lifestyle or they will die. Wouldn't you want to tell them about it? And isn't it possible that a caregiver would come to love the children so much that he or she simply couldn't go on NOT telling them "the Truth of Jehovah's love"?


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

I remember this thread!

I now know someone who is a JW.

My understanding of JW is that a very large part of their belief system is proselytizing. This is the main reason why I would not hire a JW to be a caregiver for my son. If your belief system is one that supports, encourages and demands that you "spread the word" well bottom line is that I do not want that word spread to my child. I also do not want to ask you to deny your beliefs.

Honestly, the JW I work closely with (she used to be a nanny years ago) said that she would not take a child caring position w/ a non JW family unless that family was open to attending lessons. The reason being is that she would feel "compelled" to try to have the family learn from her either by openly discussing her beliefs, leaving pamphlets, associating with (i.e. playdates) with other JW families. As a JW this is her calling. If a family hired her and was very clear they had no interest she would not accept the position. She also said that many of her faith with take this as a "challenge" (her word) and still take the job to try and "save" this family.

Just one JW's point of view but it reinfoced the fact that I would not hire a JW.


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## Tishie (Aug 16, 2005)

Quote:

Is it part of her religion to convert us? Does she reflexively disrespect us or feel 'sorry' for us that we're not saved?
I, too, am a former JW, and the answers are yes and definitely yes. Although, as you can see from the JWs in this thread, it will be done in a palatable way, so as to "give a good witness."

Anyone who is a good witness does not willingly associate with worldly people unless for work or family. Even in those situations, they will continue to witness, usually in indirect ways, but they _will_. If they don't, they aren't any good at their religion and, according to good JWs, will probably be destroyed at Armageddon. Also, good JWs wouldn't even be in this thread. So, assuming you are hiring a good JW, the statements by JWs in this thread of what they would do don't apply.

The religion is not one of grace, but completely based upon works - the primary task being conversion.


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## aniT (Jun 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tishie* 
I, too, am a former JW, and the answers are yes and definitely yes. Although, as you can see from the JWs in this thread, it will be done in a palatable way, so as to "give a good witness."

Anyone who is a good witness does not willingly associate with worldly people unless for work or family. Even in those situations, they will continue to witness, usually in indirect ways, but they _will_. If they don't, they aren't any good at their religion and, according to good JWs, will probably be destroyed at Armageddon. Also, good JWs wouldn't even be in this thread. So, assuming you are hiring a good JW, the statements by JWs in this thread of what they would do don't apply.

The religion is not one of grace, but completely based upon works - the primary task being conversion.

Well I got DH's mom to stop after about oh... 7 or 8 years. I guess her desire to see her grandkids outweighed her desire to convert me.


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