# Has anyone used a child harness (leash)?



## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

I am embarrassed to even ask this but am curious...







:

Our daughter has been walking since she was about nine months old and now is a full blown runner. In the last month or so she has gotten to the point where she doesn't like to be in the stroller, sling, backpack, or our arms because she wants to be down running. This isn't generally a problem but there are some places (the mall for example) where I don't feel comfortable having her down. She isn't even a year old so I can't just tell her to stay near me and expect her to listen!

Is a child harness an option for an AP parent?







We are going to Italy next September and I am thinking a leash might be a good idea for the airport, etc.

Thoughts? Suggestions?


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

I have said it here before but it bears repeating: I thought those leashes were horrible until my nephew turned about 1.5 years old. I am convinced that if my sister had not used the harness, my nephew would have been hurt, lost or taken.

I do not think the harnesses should ever be used as a punishment, but absolutely to keep a kid safe, yes! Especially if you are traveling to another country.

Good luck whatever you decide... & I love your quote- that is a great movie!


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joesmom*

I do not think the harnesses should ever be used as a punishment, but absolutely to keep a kid safe, yes! Especially if you are traveling to another country.


This is my sentiment exactly...it truly is for her safety...I think my hesitation is more because it looks so truly _barbaric_! But, her safety is more important than any dirty looks to me! Thanks for the input!


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## janerose (May 9, 2004)

FWIW dh travels frequently and last x-mas watched a lady w/ a baby & toddler basically loose the toddler. He ran off when she turned to check on the baby I think. Thankfully she noticed right away & dh (who was sitting next to her) was able to tell her which way the kid had run. Long story short....after MANY trips...we're both advocates of the harness in busy places.'

Have a great trip!


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Don't feel bad about asking - this has been discussed many times on mdc.







It tends to get strong reactions one way or another, but here's my two penniworth..

I used a harness on both dds. They loved it. They both used to get it out the bag and ask for me to put it on. They both far preferred to walk with the harness than go in a back pack or stroller.

I often wonder why people respond negatively to them - often more negatively than to a stroller.







To me, it is far preferable to let a child use the legs God gave him than to strap him in a box on wheels. Unless of course he prefers the box on wheels.









I personally think that if you try it and your child likes it, there is nothing whatseoever wrong with it. And having seen my child within inches of being hit by an SUV when we were not using the harness (she was a runner), I have little time for anyone who criticises me for using it.

Interestingly, in all the times we have used one, I've only had two negative comments made by strangers (both rather ignorant men, trying to be funny) and many, many positive comments. So I wouldnt worry about that if you decide to try it.


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Britishmum*
I often wonder why people respond negatively to them - often more negatively than to a stroller.









Same here. People are fine with leashing a dog to keep it safe, but not a child? Makes no sense to me.

I tried to use a harness on my oldest ds when he was about 18 months old. I was traveling from the east coast to Hawaii by myself, and between the carseat and the diaper bag, I just couldn't manage to carry him or hold his hand comfortably. I didn't want to add a stroller to the items of things to drag along. I didn't have a sling (had never even heard of one back then).
I was also a bit afraid of him getting lost in crowded places like the airport in Los Angeles.

Anyway, he was dreadfully insulted. He sat down on the floor and refused to walk until I took the harness off. So we made do. We just moved very slowly and almost missed a connecting flight.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I used one for Abi and loved it! She did, too.







It was a lifesaver since she wouldn't hold my hand and wouldn't always listen when I called her back to my side.

Darshani


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## Book Addict Jen (Mar 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2tadpoles*
People are fine with leashing a dog to keep it safe, but not a child? Makes no sense to me.

That is EXACTLY what I say! My child is way more important than any pet. They have more freedone on a harness in a busy place than holding my hand. It gives them 2.5 extra feet to roam.


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## LoveBeads (Jul 8, 2002)

I've never had to use one myself but if it meant the difference between keeping my child safe or losing her - I'd use it in a heartbeat.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks for all the support guys! Y'all are way nicer than the ladies on my old birth board (another website forum) I think I'll stick around!


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

My dh is the sweetest ever and we can discuss anything...except leashes for kids. He _was_ freaky against them and said that they were degrading and the only association people have with them are for their dogs or horses...but when we were pregnant with ds I talked about little ones that were runners and what is more important to you, having someone swipe your toddler in the blink of an eye or having them safe with you forever? He is now all for the ones that attach around the wrist, but still loathes the kind that go all around the body like a harness. :LOL I have to say I agree.







I like the ones that go around the wrist, but I just don't like the looks of the body harness. Still, if that was all there was and I had a runner...I would use it.


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## moma justice (Aug 16, 2003)

my sisters and mother and i were discussing this yesterday
my sister used an elmo leash on her dd...she LOVES elmo and running and independence so it was a good fit
my big sister remembered my parents trying to use it on her for the first time and she hated it
but they were at the state fair and did not bring anything else for her to ride in.....i think they forced her to ware it...after they started walking around she became distracted by the fair stuff and everything was fine...but she does have a negative memory about it still and she is almost 30...i think she was almost 2 at the time.
any way....if my child didn't mind it and we were in a really busy place i say no problem at all
if my dd didn't like it and we were still in a really big busy place...i would say limited use but still ok.
keeping her safe adn alive is my #1 goal and if that limits her freedoms sometimes then it is still ok......
ex: she would like to jump into the duck pond to swim with the ducks and i often have to physically restrain her kicking and screaming.....in other words i am doing something she does not like. but come on, i am keeping her safe YKWIM
but also today at our little park, in our rather small town, i saw a toddler in a harness and she looked misreable and i thought it was a little dumb.
our park is totally safe, there were just a few other moms with toddlers there, adn the mom was using the leash so she could talk on the cel phone and not watch her kid.

by the way, the maya wrap sling can be used as a harness and that might be a comfortable transistion for some kids, to go from riding in a familiar thing to having it wrapped around their waist so they could walk.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moma justice*
by the way, the maya wrap sling can be used as a harness and that might be a comfortable transistion for some kids, to go from riding in a familiar thing to having it wrapped around their waist so they could walk.

Oh, great idea! I have the Maya Wrap Sling...maybe we'll see how she likes it, next time we're out and it makes sense.


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## annab (Mar 25, 2003)

I have a friend whose twins were only 20 months when number three arrived. The twins have leashes, and it is all about her peace of mind. I support that 100%. What is horrible is that she was at the zoo in PA and her mom had the kids on the leashes. Some woman started BARKING at the kids. Then she turned to my friend, not knowing that they were her kids and started going on and on and on about how horrible it was to degrade them like that. The conversation that ensued was not pretty....


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## SEEPAE (Feb 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moma justice*
by the way, the maya wrap sling can be used as a harness and that might be a comfortable transistion for some kids, to go from riding in a familiar thing to having it wrapped around their waist so they could walk.

I was going to say the same thing! we've been having a lot of work done on the house and lots of coming and going of men in big vans that dont watch where they are driving and I feel much better running behind DS with him in a harness than not


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

We used a harness with Timmy. He was a runner, and we used to just hold his hand, till one day he did the dead fish flop. I still had hold of his hand and he ended up with a dislocated elbow







They called it "nursemaid's elbow" and said it's all too common because most people don't like harnesses. The doctor said that it's not good for a child's elbow or shoulder to have their hand held all of the time by someone so much taller than they are, it puts a lot of stress on the joints. So we used a harness from then on. Timmy loved it, he had a bit more freedom than when holding hands and was just as safe. If I had to grab him quickly I just grabbed the back of the harness.

-Heather


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## Linda KS (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoveBeads*
I've never had to use one myself but if it meant the difference between keeping my child safe or losing her - I'd use it in a heartbeat.

Same here. If I had needed one to keep my kids safe, I would have used one. I think it is a great idea for an airport!


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers*
We used a harness with Timmy. He was a runner, and we used to just hold his hand, till one day he did the dead fish flop. I still had hold of his hand and he ended up with a dislocated elbow







They called it "nursemaid's elbow" and said it's all too common because most people don't like harnesses.

My younger child had that condition twice. Once was from overly-rough play with his brother, and another time was because he tripped and fell while I had hold of his hand. Not pretty at all!


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## heldt123 (Aug 5, 2004)

I have a harness, but have used it in only a few, isolated instances. I chose to use it because of safety reasons. It is better to have our children safe, right? I think an airport would be the ideal place to use it because it would be better to know where your child is rather than to have them get hurt or kidnapped.

The couple times I used it I expected to get negative feedback from strangers--quite the opposite. I have had several people ask me where I bought it because they can't take their children shopping because they run off so much. Don't feel guilty for protecting your child.

I just went back and read the other comments and noticed that one where the child refused to walk. If you are going to use it at the airport, get her used to it first. Try it out a few times where you won't be getting negative stares if she happens to have a bad reaction to it the first couple times.


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I used to think they were horrible and barbaric too. Then I read John Lennon used one- well, he tied a rope around his son's waist- bc his baby was a wild man. I think I have that kind of baby myself now so I might be shopping for one once he's walking. Like any tool it can be mis- or over-used.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

Coming from the other side, my mom used them with me and my brother! There are several trip-to-the-beach pictures (in Monterey, so cold enough to have clothes on while there) with us and our harnesses.









She had the two Alaskan malamutes on leashes, and the two kids on harnesses. Worked for her, and we didn't mind! And she did it out of love for all four of us, since children and malamutes aren't known for their obedience.









As a chiropractor, I can't abide the wrist-attached ones, though. That's just another way to pull the kid's arm/elbow out of the socket. Not all that different than yanking the child by the hand.

When DS is old enough I'll definitely use one that's a harness, so I don't dislocate anything if there's ever a need to pull hard on the strap. Something to spread the forces out over a bigger and symmetrical area of the body.


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## Charles Baudelaire (Apr 14, 2003)

What worked for us is using my knockoff Maya Wrap around her waist. It tended to look like an obi (Japanese cummerbund) rather than a leash, for one thing, and another thing was that I could then use it as a sling when she got tired.

My central concern was twofold: one, that she would dart into traffic on the street or in a parking lot; or two, that she would get lost or be parted from me. With the sling, I had some assurance and she had freedom of movement.


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## Still_Snarky (Dec 23, 2004)

Just tried the Maya Wrap out in the living room and it works great. She loves it...and wanted me to drag her around like she's waterskiing. :LOL









ETA: We tried it out in the grocery store and it worked really well! She loved being able to run around the store and we actually had one woman come up to us and say: "What a great idea! What is that thing called? I need one of those for my daughter!" Maybe I converted someone to slingin'!


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## sweetest (May 6, 2004)

We just got back from a trip and the harness was great for the airport, especially during layovers when dd wanted to walk around but the airport was way too busy for me to let go of her.









However, we try to hold her hand while she is wearing it and use it as a back up, because she is a darter - when we were in line waiting to get on the plane dd took off (with harness on and the strap around my wrist) before I knew what happened she had boomeranged back and went face down









I tried using my sling as a tether but dd figured out pretty quickly to just stand still and push it down







By the end of our trip she had discovered the velcro on the harness and was trying to undo that (She LOVES the sound of velcro







: )


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I used my Maya wrap.


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## oldcrunchymom (Jun 26, 2002)

I never used a leash for my kids (just carried them, used a sling or stroller, or the back carrier), BUT I keep telling my friend she should get one for her daughter. Her kids are insane at stores and just run all over the place. It's hellish to take them anywhere. At least with the leash, the youngest one would be under control. I guess you couldn't use it on the five year old, though.


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## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

I don't know. I'm very FOR the use. Especially after my nephew was almost hit by a car cause he was a runner.
I think the wrist ones kind of suck though, cause if the kid takes off running couldn't it pull their arm outta the socket?
I'd probably use a body harness imo.

Good luck and welcome to MDC!!!
Katie


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

I used my Maya sling on ds this past summer, when walking to/from the beach when without dh... across a very busy road (with dd on my back and am armload of beach stuff in my arm). I was in no position to run after ds, and he wasn't 100% at sticking with me when walking yet.

I would use a harness in a heartbeat, in another situation like that, or in a huge crowd where if ds or dd bolted I'd never find them again (e.g., on the boardwalk on the 4th of July!).

Modern times calls for modern parenting adjustments IMO. Ds (or dd) have zero continuum experience with 8-lane beach highways, traffic lights, and zooming cars. How am I supposed to expect to keep them safe when by myself?


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## amethystrse (Dec 4, 2004)

We go to Renaisance fairs a lot. Since we help out at one of the booths we're literally there all weekend (camp at the site from Thursday or Friday till Sunday or Monday). Lately we've been trading off, I go one fair and my husband goes to the next one, because Orion is such a handful. He's gotten better at staying with us and in the booth. But, because our booth is so popular I get worried about him getting lost in the crowd.

I've considered making a type of leash for when we're at the fair. The few times we've taken him we've also taken turns in the booth. It's an arms booth so I don't want him in there with me anyways. But, when I'm not working in the booth sometimes I'm outside of it talking to people about what we sell, how period the swords are, if they hold up to combat, etc. Plus, I help out with the fighters (when I'm not fighting myself) and so I'm usually where there is a crowd. It's hard to talk to someone when you're chasing down a toddler and I'm always worried that I'll look away for a second and he'll be gone. He's reached the age where he knows to stay close but I still worry.

I don't think there's anything wrong with using a leash in certain situations. It keeps your child right near you. I don't think it should be used all the time, but there are times, like in a really crowded place, where you need to do something. And when a stroller, sling, etc isn't an option...

*big hugs* Do what you're heart tells you. If you truly feel it's best then don't worry if it's AP or not. Just do it.


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## hotmamacita (Sep 25, 2002)

I chose not to use a harness. WHen the twins were newborns, I didn't go out much then I double slung







them and held the other two (20 months and 4 yo). Or I'd use a double stroller and a sling or a backpack.

I just couldn't bring myself to use a harness.

But I think you should trust your gut on what you want to do. You are best for your daughter and your heart for her is more important than some external decisions, anyway.

Peace,
hmc


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## azyre (Oct 10, 2003)

Quote:

Is a child harness an option for an AP parent?
defintely - i fail to see how it differs from using a stroller to contain your child while moving around, except they get to use their legs and are potentailly happier that way. I think it is a rare parent who doesn't rely on some form of "baby reigning" to function, just because it lacks a seat and wheels doesn't automatically make it wrong.

That said, I tried one and she hit the turf like any wild animal would and I won't "tame" her into using it







I tried the sling first, no way, so bought a proper one and she won't have a bar of it either. Reminded me of every animal I've ever seen wear one for the first time. So I am back to either pretty much chasing her and herding her like cats, and when I get sick of that, putting her in the stroller. She deals better with being in a stroller now than in the sling if her first preference is walking.


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

i'm all for it, i tried using my maya wrap as a harness but it was too bulky and heavy and rowan was NOT a fan. although, rather than running off he did just spent his time trying to take it off - maybe it DID work! LOL!!!
seriously, though, if your child doesn't mind it i think it's fine. i think rowan considers it cruel and unusual punishment though, so i'll stick to slinging him or putting him in the stroller for now.


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## GeorgiaGalHeidi (Apr 16, 2004)

My cousin has a muscle disorder that makes it impossible for her to run at all. When her kid was 1.5, he ran away in target and got lost.







They found him thank God. From then on, she used the leash, so I am in agreement that I think it is a good idea when safety is a concern and you are dealing with a kid that cannot be taught to stick by your side.


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## Quirky (Jun 18, 2002)

Just to add my voice to the chorus of support....

....we have used the harness style on ds. I picked up a toy dog's retractable leash at Petco, and that has worked much better than the very short strap that came with the harness - if it was appropriate to let ds have more leeway to run, I could, but I could also shorten it up and put the brake on to keep him close.

Something like this.

We have definitely gotten our share of funny looks, but they've been far more amused than critical. And who cares anyway! As long as you're happy and your child is happy and SAFE.


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## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

When I had my first child I saw people walking around with their kids on those leashes and I kept thinking "why on earth would someone do that? How cruel!" Of course, I was a naive first time mom with a very well mannered child who had absolutely no need to run off. Then I had my second. She started walking at 9 months and was running shortly after. There was no stopping her! I got a leash. I don't like the wrist ones because they are easy for the child to take off, but the harness ones zip so it's more difficult. I haven't had to use one since her, but I wouldn't hesitate to do so if I felt I needed to!


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## MammaKoz (Dec 9, 2003)

We'll use it for Maria in places where it is super busy, like the zoo or when we are at the Mall or in the summer at the Fair and there are 1000's of people around and she could be swooped up and taken in the blink of an eye. She can be a runner sometimes as well and in those types of situations where there are crowds and people every where, the safety of my daughter is the most important. We have to use the actuall harness that goes all the way around her because she knows how to take the wrist ones off :LOL We use it rarely and it is for her safety. I don't have a problem with them at all when they are used properly (ie in crowded situations etc) and Maria LOVES it because she has some freedom to roam around.

I do get the odd look sometime, but I really don't care what people think, I am keeping my daughter safe and that is what is important!


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

here's another vote in favor!


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Yes. Absolutely.









Though my kids have all lost the novelty-thrill of them pretty quickly and then it becomes an issue, sometimes they won't wear them, or they'll just sit down on the sidewalk and refuse to walk with them ... so they occasionally end up more hassle than they're worth.

That said, will point out that we're carless city dwellers, so walk everywhere, and the harness might be a daily event for stretches ... meaning, less often means less hassle.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I bought a cheap harness at KMart for $5. I put it on DS at home as soon as we got home. He just screamed and tore at it so I haven't tried it since. BUT we just got back from traveling to CA from NC. I so wish I had gotten him use to the harness. Luckily he was so busy looking at everything that he didn't run, he just walked. I followed him closly with the stroller (which was a life saver as well). Next time I would bring the stroller and the harness.

My sister also had her shoulder pulled out of socket by my mom when she was little. My mom was trying to walk both of us around when my sister threw a fit and went limp with my mom holding onto her wrist. Not a fun day.


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## levar (Jan 28, 2002)

Count me in FOR! We used one on a "Rip Tide" beach in Hawaii and I refused to leave my son in my Mother's care at all without it actually. SHE was offended saying "I dont need that" until she dozed off and woke only when my son - on leash - started dragging her - by the ankle - down the beach! ;p

We had it easy though since we have a dog and putting harness/leash on dog and kid to go for city-street walks was a no-brainer.

I have a mini-theory why you get support here too... I've noticed that less-AP-style parents are much more 'strict-seeming' [in public anyway?] and spend alot of their time "bullying" their children into walking beside them, etc. [Could've been our old neighborhood? But that's what I saw.] Where as quietly/gently encouraging our son to stay near-by safely [As well as our dog FYI] was our acknowledged goal.


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## fuller2 (Nov 7, 2004)

I've always thought they were a great idea. I don't use one (yet) but I've been a city dog walker for years and years and I guess my dog's delighted enthusiasm on seeing the leash made it seem perfectly fine to me! I know the leash is not to punish the dog but to keep him safe. You also get a kind of shared energy thing going, I think, when you're physically attached like that. So if the kid wants to run, why not?? Much better exercise than the stroller, and a lot more "natural" than just sitting there, you know? Unfortunately we have to have these modern modifications to "natural" but anything that gets the kid outside running around seems perfectly fine to me. My son turns 2 in a month and I am thinking about getting one this spring.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

We go to Florida to visit my family at least twice a year. Sometimes I go without my DH. The harness is wonderful in the airport. It keeps my mind at ease that she can not be stolen while attached to me. Since my father works for Disney World we get to go there for free and DD gets to walk around in her harness and see and touch everything. We bring the stroller for the bags :LOL
I also think the body harness is much more comfortable for the kids than the hand holder one.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

If your dd prefers it to a stroller/sling or other option then it is a great option for your family. Don't worry about what other people think. the only intellegent thing my step sister ever said was in reference to child harness/leashes "they can make fun of me all they want. i'll be busy keeping my child safe" granted she never used a car seat and drove drunk on a regular basis but at least no one was going to kidnap him.

I think they can be a great tool for giving a child a measure of freedom while still keeping them a safe distance. it is esecially good for those children who like to wonder off or dive from any elevated surface


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## pamelamama (Dec 12, 2002)

I use my wrap sling with one end tied in a loop. Used it in the airport. He didnt like it too much, but it was helpful when he kept running for the escalator!


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

My parents had four children under the age of six and were traveling through Europe (they are nuts, yes) . They put my two year old brother in a harness in certain situations. Reading this thread makes me think that I would definitely use one in situations like Disneyland.


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## simply me (Dec 26, 2004)

I love my harness!! I used one on my oldest now 7 & my 2 littlesones love the freedom of beeing able to run around. I love the feeling of knowing they are safe in my hands reach.

I have gotten looks from people & some are approving & some aren't. I just tell them well atleast my child is safe & happy. Thats not always an easy task while ut & about!!


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