# When did your high needs child start sleeping through the night?



## blueridgewoman (Nov 19, 2001)

I know that no one child is the same, but I thought I'd ask anyway.







DD is seventeen months old (today!







: ) and she's sleeping incredibly poorly, as usual. It's been worse lately because she's teething and getting at least one set of molars AND her canines at once, but she's never been a great sleeper.

I hear that supposedly, eighteen months is like the "magic" age for a lot of kids and they start sleeping better, not nursing as much, etc. Both of those would be great things here, to be honest, as I'm breastfeeding a child who quite literally eats 20 times in a 24 hour period and sleeps about two hours at a stretch.









Any thoughts from mamas of high needs kids out there?


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## jrose_lee (Oct 2, 2005)

Ds is 3 and his sleeping has just recently improved. Even when he wakes now he goes back to sleep pretty easily and I expect that of him now at this age. Probably not the answer you were hoping for







And now that he is doing better here comes another one in April! Haha!


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## Eman'smom (Mar 19, 2002)

I'd say around 2-3 years old ds started not waking every night, and by a 5-6 he was out of our room.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

Your gonna hate this...but about 3-4 years old







:

Good luck mama


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## SeekingJoy (Apr 30, 2007)

DS is 3.5 and we are still waiting. Some nights are better, depending on the day. Some are worse.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Oldest ds is 8 and, uh, he still gets up at night. Thankfully he's old enough to do his own thing now. He knows he has to stay in his room if it's not light yet, but he can read or draw or do something quiet if he can't sleep. My youngest ds was not quite as high needs in everyway, but was pretty HN in the sleep department. He's three and a half and it's only been about 6 months that he's been fairly reliably sleeping through - though he still tends to wake up between bedtime for him and bedtime for me.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

Yeah eclipse, my 7yo still either sleeps with us (through the night) or wakes and comes in mid-early-morning around 4am to snuggle me or Daddy. I didn't mention it 'cause I just wanted to give the OP some hope


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

Mine goes through phases. He has slept reliably through the night for weeks at a time, but then gone back to midnight waking. He is 3.5 years old right now and currently needs me one or two times a night on most nights, but might STTN a couple days a week.


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## mizznicole (Feb 13, 2007)

After we nightweaned. Sorry, had to say it.


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## SeekingJoy (Apr 30, 2007)

Nightweaning did nothing for my DS. In a way, it made it harder because I no longer had a reliable way to soothe him.


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## ani'smommy (Nov 29, 2005)

4. And she still wakes up once or twice a month. But goes right back to sleep. She stopped co-sleeping three or four months before she turned four.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

3 is when she started STTN, she decided to move into her own room shortly before turning 5. She regressed though at 5.5 and hasn't slept alone or STTN since.


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## eko_mom (Jan 30, 2007)

At about 3...and incidently or because I got pregant again and stopped producing milk, so although she still dry nurses to sleep, she stopped relying on nursing for food and I think because of that doesn't wake up as much in the night. Once or twice now, and usually to pee.


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SeekingJoy* 
Nightweaning did nothing for my DS. In a way, it made it harder because I no longer had a reliable way to soothe him.

Same here.

My DD started sleeping longer and longer stretches once her teeth all came in. She still wakes up here and there, but that's mainly because she needs to pee, doesn't realize it and can't get back to sleep until I remind her that she needs to use the potty.


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## mamarootoo (Sep 16, 2008)

so, 18 months was our "magic number!" hehee... she went from nursing 20ish times/24 hours (sound familiar?!) and waking up every 45-60 minutes to sleeping a 4-5 hour stretch when she first fell asleep, and up ever 1.5ish hours after that till morning.

that was also the time i got pregnant, and my milk supply tanked!

she's still nursing 4-5 times during the day, and 3-4 times at night.

our dd got her 1 yr. molars and canines in at the same time too. that. freaking. sucked.

i feel for you mama!


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## mandib50 (Oct 26, 2004)

about 3 1/2.
it was so incredibly hard but my high needs baby is now almost 16, so hang in there!


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## *LoveBugMama* (Aug 2, 2003)

Being sleepdeprived can be soooo exhausting!!









My high need child (now a wonderful, intense and sensitive almost 8 YO







) has never slept thru the night. Ever.







From birth until he was 2 YO he woke up every 45 minutes to an hour all night. He has always needed a lot of sleep, but never slept thru the night.
When he was a little under 2 YO, he stopped sleeping during the day. He started wanting to take his only daytime nap at around 5-5.30 PM, and I started keeping him awake for the 2 hours until bedtime, around 7.30-8PM.
After this, he started sleeping better at night. He would still wake several times, but instead of me needing to soothe him back to sleep every 45 minutes, he now could sleep for a few hours, maybe even 3.

Over the years he has gradually started sleeping longer stretches. He still wakes up several times a night, but now he just takes a sip of water/snuggles up closer to me/asks about something he is thinking about etc, and then falls asleep again.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

I am getting incredibly depressed reading this.









DS is almost 7 months and is up every hour pretty much all night. Last night we even had some hour-long periods where he would wake up every 2-3 minutes and I'd have to pat/shush him back to sleep. I can't take YEARS more of this....... :yawning:







:


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LadyCatherine185* 
I am getting incredibly depressed reading this.









DS is almost 7 months and is up every hour pretty much all night. Last night we even had some hour-long periods where he would wake up every 2-3 minutes and I'd have to pat/shush him back to sleep. I can't take YEARS more of this....... :yawning:







:



















I definitely would have felt the same way if I'd read this thread when DS1 was that age. But having an older child who is a poor sleeper is not as bad as it might sound. An older toddler can at least try to explain what he needs at night, which removes half of the guesswork. He'll also be more mobile and able to rearrange his own body, clothes, and bedding to make himself more comfortable instead of crying for you. He also won't wake up anywhere near as often as a baby.

When DS1 was younger, waking in the night might mean a 2-3 hour inconsolable screamfest, during which I'd seriously contemplate moving to Australia. Now, waking in the night typically means I go hug him and comfort him about a scary noise that he heard and/or I change a leaky diaper, and then we both go back to sleep. (Doesn't always go that smoothly... but mostly!)

It sounds like this is a really rough spot with your baby right now, but it really will get better--even if STTN takes a long time to achieve.


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## runes (Aug 5, 2004)

I don't consider DD high needs, and she just recently started to sleep longer stretches. She went almost 7 hours last night without nursing, which was a first.

I also think that part of it for her is she has greater bladder capacity, so she is able to hold her pee instead of waking to go to pee. Coupled with slowly working on nightweaning for the last couple of weeks (so she isn't drinking as much, so she doesn't have to pee as much), we are finally getting some longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep.

She is 3 years, 4 months old.


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## gini1313 (Jul 5, 2006)

Ds weaned suddenly (not his choice) when he was 13 months and started sleeping through the night almost immediately. He did go through a period later of waking once and coming to our bed, but he would go right back to sleep.

I definitely do not advocate weaning to get more sleep, especially not so young, but I think it does decrease night wakings. The other thing that helped us with night wakings was that I was really sick (thus the weaning) and so dh started taking over the night time parenting. Ds (like most spirited kids, I think) was really a mamas boy and so didn't like snuggling with daddy as much as with me. I think that helped him not wake so much at night as well.

Hang in there... He is almost 6 now, and sleeps like a log. I think he has slept like that since about 3 or so. It will get better!!!


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## mommy amber (Mar 29, 2008)

temporarily at 2.5 when we nightweaned during my pg...but now that her baby bro is in bed w/ us...she is back to waking and she's almost 3.


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## Liam's Mum (Jan 9, 2007)

first DS started sleeping better after 2 years, then at 2.5 I was pg and night-weaned him, better still. at 4.5 though he still wakes many nights, but since all he does is crawl in with us, and go back to sleep, it's not a problem. often he spends the whole night in his own room.

DS#2 started off sleeping decent stretches when an infant, but it didn't last, and at 17 mos (also yesterday!) he is possibly worse than his brother, and up every hour or two. (he also nurses A LOT). Three or four hours is a long stretch here, and rarely happens. I figure this will go on a lot longer than another few weeks, I'm hoping around 2-2.5 we'll see improvement with him too...I'm hoping...


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## georgiegirl1974 (Sep 20, 2006)

A month or so before she turned 3...but not consistently. However, I had nightweaned her 2 months prior (because I was pg). Now she sleeps through the night about half of the week. But she still has occasional bad nights (like last night where she woke about 4 times.)

For some kids, it is when all of their teeth come in (around 2), but that wasn't the case for us.


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## blueridgewoman (Nov 19, 2001)

Well, that wasn't too bad. I've made it a year and a half, so I figure I can make another year or so.... Honestly, 3-4 is what I was expecting for STTN.... I'd love a good 4-5 hour stretch at some point after teething, but....

It's good to hear the mamas who say its gotten better after the teeth come in. My dd is apparently the slowest teether ever, but it still helps.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *blueridgewoman* 
I hear that supposedly, eighteen months is like the "magic" age for a lot of kids and they start sleeping better, not nursing as much, etc. Both of those would be great things here, to be honest, as I'm breastfeeding a child who quite literally eats 20 times in a 24 hour period and sleeps about two hours at a stretch.









I don't want to really freak you out, but for lots of people the 17-22 month is actually a *very* needy time. Nursing like a newborn, but bigger and more active. I've heard that there is usually a decrease around/after 24 months, though...

That said. I try not to consider my kids high needs (lol) but it seems like everyone else certainly does. They certainly are both emotionally intense with very low sleeping needs. DD was 3.5 before she slept "though" the night (nursing to sleep and then not again until the morning, she still sometimes needed help getting back to sleep). She is now (as of Jan when she turned 10) sleeping in her own bed and not coming in until morning.

DS was closer at least 4.5 before he went all the way through the night (he started going longer, 4-5 hours, between 4-4.5 and fully weaned at 5.75 years). Now, at 7 he often sleeps the whole night in his own bed but still needs a lot of cuddle time before bed (1+ hour versus DD who only needs 10-30 minutes).


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

yup tiredx2 - THAT was a VEry very needy time for my dd. she was going thru all those growth spurts and constantly nursing.

i suddenly discovered dd sleeping thru the night at 3. around 2 i think she went down to just one major feed. but then i didnt really find her getting up a chore coz i slept thru her nursing.

BUT i will say its been 3 1/2 years since she started never waking up at night. me? havent returned to sleeping thru the night myself. i still wake up at around 1 or 2 am when dd used to wake up for her last long feed. i spend a wonderful hour doing something i really enjoy. my favourite time at night.


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## donutmolly (Jun 9, 2005)

DD1 is the "high-needs" poster child and she started STTN most nights by the time she was 2. By then she slept in her own room, in her own bed, had gotten all her molars (we saw a big improvement once all those teeth were in!) and also was dry most nights (I think peeing was waking her up). I did not actively nightwean her, but obviously she stopped nursing at night once she was sleeping...

She's almost 4 now, occasionally wakes and crawls in with us, occasionally wets the bed, but mostly we have lots of rest. There is hope!

We also had probably the worst sleep period between 14 and 22 mo -- those darn molars were to blame, I am sure!


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## PluggingAway (Dec 11, 2008)

Ds1 is 34 months old and sleeps through the night about 1/2 -3/4 of the time. His improvement in sleep has been a very slow and gradual process. I'm not exageratting when I say that my toddler requires more night-time parenting than my infant (4 months).


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Right around the time she turned 2. But I had to night wean. Luckily that was really easy, via the Jay Gordon method. But she went from waking up every hour and a half to sleeping completely through the night - like 8 pm to 8 am - in two nights.


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## XanaduMama (May 19, 2006)

ds didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a stretch until we nightweaned around 20mo, when I was newly pg and exhausted. Over the next few months (still cosleeping) his sleep improved until he started STTN (I kid you not) 2 weeks before dd was born.









That said, he's now 39mo, still in our room, and wakes at least once a night. I don't expect it to improve any time soon...though I must say that things are MUCH better now than at 20mo.

Hang in there!


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

I'm so glad to see that what DS is doing is relatively normal.

Since ~16 months, when he's not teething, he usually wakes about the time I go to bed (10-11 pm), nurses back to sleep, and then wakes to nurse somewhere in the 4:30- 5 am timeframe.

When he's teething, he might wake every hour to nurse.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Dd was/is high need (now 8), and was night-waking and waking me for helping falling back asleep until she as about 5. Now, the "help" got a lot easier over the years (a snuggle, as opposed to a marathon nursing session), but, yeah. She is still sleeping in our room, but gets herself to sleep and stays asleep.

Ds is low needs, generally, and is still waking to nurse 1-2 times in the early morning hours (26 months).


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

DD nightweaned herself at 16.5 months and slept a 5-hour stretch for the first time in her life at 17.5 months. She started consistently sleeping longer stretches and going to sleep easier around 18 months.

It ebbs and flows. Some good stretches, some bad.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Both of my children had a brief period of "through the night" sleeping (meaning 5 hrs) when they were around 3 months, but then they got teeth, and all bets were off. Both were then routine wakers every 2 hrs at the most, all night long.

My daughter stopped her 1/2hr - 2 hr jags of sleep around 2yrs & 2mo. She very quickly started sleeping 3 hrs, 4 hrs, 5 hrs, and by 2.5yrs even pulled a couple of all the way through the nights. Until she was 4, most nights she'd wake once to either come in to our bed, or just be cuddled - I'd say 5 out of 7 nights. Now at 4.5, she sleeps all the way through 'til morning about 5 out of 7 nights, with the other two waking briefly for a cuddle.

My son stopped his 2 hr jags of sleep at 21 months. Again, very dramatically, he started sleeping 3, 4, 5 hrs. He now routinely sleeps from 8:30pm - 4:30, wakes to nurse, and will wake a couple more times briefly to switch sides until 7:30.

I did not actively nightwean my daughter (I was pregnant at the time she started nursing less at night, certainly in part due to my physical discomfort), and have not nightweaned my son, but I will tell you that the time when they both dramatically started sleeping better at night was the same time as when I started asking them to cuddle when waking, as opposed to automatically offering the breast. If they said no, I nursed, if they said yes (or at least didn't say no, haha), I'd cuddle until they asked to nurse, or until they fell asleep. So I didn't go by any kind of strict no breast at this hour or for this amt. of time plan, I guaged my childrens' responses, and was pleasantly surprised that they were perfectly happy many times to just have me cuddle them, sing to them, etc. instead of nursing back to sleep.

So in synopsis: DD - 26 mo, DS - 20 mo

Edited to mention that ALL of my sons teeth (including 2yr molars) were through right before he started STTN, and same for my daughter. I am sure that had a lot to do with it.


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

The very first time he slept through (as in 8+ hours ...the actual "medical" definition of STTN is 5 hours) was at about 17 months old. It's been on & off since then, still not consistent (he's 3 yrs 3 months now) but pretty close.


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## jbie (Mar 21, 2006)

DS is classic high needs, but since around 18mo would many nights sleep without waking from 9pm-7am with only one waking in the middle, then nursing frequently until waking at 8.30am.

on a bad night, which is regular but the exception, he'd wake at 2am, then every 2 hours with lots of nursing. potentially this is related to teething, but he'd never let us look in his mouth to confirm it.

there've probably been a few nights recently (he's 2yrs and 3mo, and recently in his own bed next to mine) where he's slept 7 or 8 hours without waking.

having him in his own bed helps, as i don't rouse him, and he's further away from smelling my breasts. he crawls over to me when he wants nursing, and i can scoot him back when he falls asleep again.

but probably from 1yo, he'd start having 5 hour stretches of sleep, with the regular exceptions of nights where he'd wake every hour or 2 hours.


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## nevaehsmommy (Aug 6, 2007)

Sleep throught the night? I think I have heard of that....its hitting me...oh that thing the doctor assured me she would do by 4 months 5 months at the latest. THe doctor lied. I still have not had a wakeless night.

On a side note. I was once the high needs baby and I did not sleep through the night until well into grade school. I slept with my mom until first grade then she kicked me out.....can you blame her?


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