# Stitched up too tight?



## allisonrose (Oct 22, 2004)

I had a 3rd degree tear when my son was born just over 8 weeks ago. My midwife checked me at 6 weeks PP and said I was all healed up and cleared me for sex. I mentioned that some manual exploration had me concerned about being too tight and she told me to go slow, use lube and it'll get better with time. Hubby and I attempted sex a week after the appointment. It was so painful for me that we gave up on penetration after a couple tries. I decided to check things out manually last night and there's a ridge of tough tissue at my vaginal opening. I wonder if the OB on call stitched me up too tight. (I had a hospital birth, delivered with the on call midwife who I'd never met before and was stitched up by the OB on call who I'd also never had any contact with prior.) I'm thinking about getting checked out but I feel like I've already been brushed aside by one of the midwives - there's three in the practice. I will be annoyed if I pay my $30 copay to go in and be told that it'll take time.

So basically - is there any way for me to tell if this will get better on its own or not?
Should I consider an appointment with an OB/GYN to take a look? Perhaps someone with a different practice....

I absolutely hate that I've lost the ability to enjoy what is a natural act.


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## lifeguard (May 12, 2008)

I'm not as far out pp as you but think I can somewhat understand. When I look & feel for myself I am very concerned that the scar tissue will not have enough give as it seems so thick & tough, especially as 1 whole wall of my vagina was repaired.

Is it possible that is what the problem is & not necessarily that the ob stitched to tight?


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## BeccaBaby1 (Jul 21, 2008)

I had a section birth so can't speak to your concern about scar... but sex was no fun in my house for 8 months. Penetration was sooo uncomfortable even with lube. I started a thread asking about it and had loads of responses from other mammas in the same boat. It may be a scar problem or it may be that you need more time and different hormones that will kick in later... if the latter is the case, know that it does get much much better with time. Nevertheless, I don't think it is a bad idea to get a second check.


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## allisonrose (Oct 22, 2004)

lifeguard - Yes it is possible.

I'm especially concerned because the vaginal opening is narrower than my vaginal canal now so there's actually kinda a pocket behind the scar tissue. Doesn't seem normal to me.

I just really feel like the midwife didn't listen to me and my concerns. Hence why I'm online trying to describe what's going on in "lady town".


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## Serenyd (Jan 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allisonrose* 
lifeguard - Yes it is possible.

I'm especially concerned because the vaginal opening is narrower than my vaginal canal now so there's actually kinda a pocket behind the scar tissue. Doesn't seem normal to me.

I just really feel like the midwife didn't listen to me and my concerns. Hence why I'm online trying to describe what's going on in "lady town".


I would get a second opinion if just for peace of mind. Maybe some estradiol cream would help, and if the OB agrees, ask for a sample.


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## iowaorganic (May 19, 2007)

I think that there are a lot of us who thought that too in the beginning. Estrogen makes a world of difference in the healing process. BFing sucks all the moisture out down there too and makes it much more uncomfortable if not impossible to have sex. I finally had to do estrogen cream or else we would have been divorced







after only a week of use we were back to normal.


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Sometimes scar tissue will keep growing so I would def get it checked out. Before it gets worse.


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## UrbanCrunchyMama (Aug 7, 2007)

I felt like I was stitched up too tightly for awhile too. (It was an episiotomy, not a tear.) I even posted this question here on MDC during the early stages. 

I think it took at least a year for sex to feel somewhat normal. Thankfully, DH was very understanding and mindful about checking in with how I was feeling. Not breastfeeding as often and just giving it time really helped.

But I'm all for getting yourself checked out if something doesn't feel right.

Best,
Lydia


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## momma4fun (Jan 23, 2007)

well, lots of times, i think the concept of being "stiched up tight" just isn't applicable --

we are so open and stretched during childbirth

it's not like the vaginal opening is a perfect pre-determined circumfrence that can be easliy shrunk -- does this make any sense?

i think in most cases, it's a change in sensation from scar tissue or what not that causes the discomfort, not that the entire vaginal opening has diminished in size.......


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

I had a 2nd degree tear and a whole lot of stitches. I still feel pretty tight (5 months out), but it is getting ALOT better. I agree that lube helps.


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## NizhoniTwice (Sep 13, 2008)

One of the OB/GYNs in the practice where I go is a vaginal reconstructive surgery specialist (I didn't know they existed until I saw it on her business card). Perhaps setting up an appointment with a specialist will give you more concrete answers.

Good luck. I hope things get better there soon.


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## jecombs (Mar 6, 2008)

I had a 2nd degree tear (DD was sunny-side up and had a hand up by her face). She was 10-12 months old before sex was enjoyable and comfortable again. I think it had a lot to do with BFing. As soon as DD dropped 2 nursing sessions, I noticed an immediate improvement. I actually had scheduled an appt. with a specialist (referred from my MW), but I cancelled it because I was feeling so much better.

Do what you have to do to feel heard! If that means seeing a different HCP, I would go for it.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

DD1 was a c/s (never got past 7cm so no pushing or stretching past that) and penetration was VERY painful for 6-8 months pp. I met with a specialist and I'm one of those women who responds really strongly to hormonal shifts. I used an over the counter vaginal moisturizer (not a lube) called Replense for about a month, and things got better by about 8 months.

DD2 was a vbac and I got a 4th degree tear (200+ sutures). The OB who did the repair trained with Ina May and actually teaches classes for midwives on tear repair and I'm 100% confident she "did it right". It's been 17months and things are JUST getting comfortable. She tells her 3rd and 4th degree moms (she gets called in to repair all the tears







) that she doesn't really expect them to feel ok till at least 6 MONTHS postpartum. If you do, great! But most women with that sort of uro-genital surgery (who are also actively tending children, breastfeeding, staying sleep deprived, probably still anemic, etc) need several months to a year to feel like themselves.

She suggests things like simple belly dance and kundalini or svaroopa yoga to gently reintegrate the pelvic area, loosen adhesions, stimulate blood flow, and speed healing. Scar massage with vitamin e oil, sitz baths every day in warm/hot water to again increase blood flow and relax tissues, a well balanced diet with good fats/hydration/more protien than you might normally eat (helps with tissue repair, also get enough iron), and time help too. If available, something like the epi-no is an option as well. As are nerve desensitization techniques if you decide to visit a PT or specialist.

If you can afford the co-pay a second look wouldn't hurt to make certain you don't have any tearing that wasn't repaired properly (sometimes there are small anal tears that are missed due to the larger trauma...these can heal wonky and cause pain). But if you do go for a second look try to find an OB/GYN who has specialized training in vaginal reconstruction or uro-genital surgery. Or ask for a referral to a PT who specializes in women's health/anatomy. Midwives are wonderful and amazing and great at natural birth and it's after affects. But a 3rd or 4th degree tears and repair are often things they don't see often (thankfully!) and they may miss things or misinterpret signs of ongoing problems.

Hope you feel better soon!


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## allisonrose (Oct 22, 2004)

Thanks for the responses ladies!

It seems like what I'm feeling is unfortunately common after tearing/epi repair. Although I don't think the discomfort is due to dryness because penetration was basically impossible.

I do like the thought of seeing someone who is a bit more specialized. I'm not sure how easy it'll be to find someone like that especially since my HMO is very strict about medical groups.







I go to two moms' groups facilitated by nurse/LCs so I might ask them if they can recommend someone.


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