# Stop cosleeping because of flat spot?



## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

So. Here's the deal.
We've slept with Evan since day one. And we like it that way.
Now we've got Abby here too and she sleeps with us also - again, we're happiest this way.

Thing is, when Evan was a little wee baby he got a flat spot because I didn't realize I had to change his position (new mom stupidity?) so anyway it took a lot of 'creative positioning' but we balanced out his poor little head and he's fine now.

So I thought I was being BRILLIANT when I decided to let Abby sleep in the crook of my arm with her head on my arm - figured it would just avoid the whole flat spot issue altogether. WRONG. Turns out she now has a flat spot, quite badly, on the side/back of her head and her head is kind of growing lopsided.

Say hello to mommy-guilt. Ugh.

So anyway long story not-so-short...we're now keeping a close eye on it, and our nurse practitioner and doctor both think that we can nip the flat spot before it gets permanent, if we take care of it early.

So I've been making sure to keep her off the flat spot and more on the opposite side of her head (she likes sleeping almost on her side, curled up in my arm) and I swear it's getting less noticeable already.

But both our N.P and the doctor at the clinic (we see her for anything our NP can't really take on) say that Abby NEEDS to be in a crib or a bassinet, she will NOT get better if she stays in our bed, etc etc.

I don't want to put Abby in a crib. I have an Arm's Reach, but she's miserable in it. And I feel like I'm missing a limb if she's not right beside me. We don't nurse, so it's not that I need the convenience - it's just where we want our kids to be. Right beside us, for as long as they need it. And Abby definitely still needs the closeness. She's only 3 months old.

Has anyone dealt with this? I get the feeling that my health-care professionals think I'm being ridiculous and selfish for not "doing everything i can" to make sure Abby's head gets back to normal.

I have the option to ask for a referral to a pediatrician if I want to, and if I get the one we had for Evan he's amazing. He said back then "Well I'm SUPPOSED to tell you that cosleeping is not in your son's best interests ebcause that's what the Canadian Paediatrics Association tells me I have to say...but the truth is, it's up to you so let's figure sometihng out".

Maybe I should try to get the same pedi? And see if he's more willing to work with me to find a solution without having to sacrifice our cosleeping?


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## pumpkin (Apr 8, 2003)

Did they give any explanation for how being in a crib would help? Won't baby's head still be resting flat against the mattress?


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## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pumpkin* 
Did they give any explanation for how being in a crib would help? Won't baby's head still be resting flat against the mattress?

They think the best way to counteract the flat spot, is to place her on a very firm mattress (ours is a tad on the soft side but not dangerously so) like a crib or bassinet mattress, and put her in a sleep positioner so that she's on a 45 degree angle with any pressure going on the non-flat area that's more rounded out? I understand the thinking behind it, but she won't sleep on a 45 degree angle and will not tolerate being in the positioner (we've tried it for the rare nap here and there and she hates it).

Here IS the selfish thing on my part - she sleeps from 9pm-4am, wakes up for a bottle and straight back down until 8am. if I put her anywhere else but right beside me, I'll be up every hour - with a high needs almost 3 yr old to deal with all day after that.







:


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

Lets stop and think about this for a second...
Does it make any common sense to you at all that she would not have a flat spot if she were sleeping alone in/on something else?
It sure doesnt! lmao
Sounds to me like they are just trying to get you to stop co sleeping using nasty tactics towards you. That would not be on with me.

Heres the deal...

ALL babies get flat spots. This is because their heads are very soft and if they spend a lot of time laying on them...they are going to get a flat spot! Its all well and good to think we can just naturally flip our babies about to 'even' out the flat spots but a lot of babies will just naturally lay in the same position anyhow.

There is new paranoia about the shape of our babies heads so all these parents are rushing out to get those helmets to correct them. Many people have a funny shaped head but I think they are on an increase for two main reasons....The first being overuse of negletomatics. How easy is it to just keep baby in crib/cot/moses basket/bouncer chair/floor play mat all day long? AND Increase rate of C-Section - where a babys head (thinking of the bone plates they have in there) is pulled from a womb instead of being pushed through the vaginal canal (shifting those plates) naturally the way they were meant to be.

A simple thing has been forgotten in all of this.... If they have a flat spot now, that does not mean they will always have a flat spot. The plates do not fuse and completely harden until the child is about 18 months of age - I think DS set completely around 22 months of age though. SO...and this is what I was told and this is exactly how it happened for us as DS was born via section and always no matter what, layed on only one side of his head no matter what I did so did have a very deffinate flat spot on the back of his head...When they start to sit up and become more mobile (sitting, crawling, etc) their heads start to even out with _good old gravity_. Because of this, there is one BIG thing we can do for our babies before they get to the mobile stage...We can carry them...continously! Its wonderful for so many reasons and slings just make that so much easier for us mums - leaving our hands free so we can get about our day.

So the conclusion is...dont worry! hehe Her head is fine. Continue co sleeping...you may have your own 'selfish' reason for doing that but here are so many other benefits to it that it really is worth it for too many reasons to count!


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## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

Well I don't know what the sleep positioner is but can't you put that it in the bed with you?
I wouldn't stop co-sleeping, especially since the information they are giving you doesn't even seem rational.
Trust your instincts!


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## Vortexing (May 11, 2006)

Yeah, I'd let her sleep however she sleeps best - a tired baby isn't going to develop as well as a well rested one, w/ or w/o a flat spot. I'd make sure (as much as you can with your 3 yo around), that during the day she doesn't spend a ton of time on her head (aka, car seat, bouncer, etc). I'd guess popping her in a sling for a good fraction of the day might just let her head get a break and then wait a bit since she's only 3 mths old! The crib/positioner thing seems like a somewhat medicalized and naive way to solve a "problem."


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## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

I was just thinking about how I was a tad nervous sleeping with my newborns and with my second I used one of these. I wonder if your baby is too big for it now at 3 months...


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## MommyJoia (Oct 31, 2007)

this whole thing is a little confusing to me. I always heard that co-sleeping helps _prevent_ flat spots on the baby's head and that the flat spots were more caused by hard car seats and swings. How often do you have your baby in a car seat, swing or bouncy seat? That's the real question. If you use a bucket, keep it in the car, don't use it as a baby carrier, use it as a car seat and carry your baby in a sling or in arms. Don't leave your baby to sleep in a swing or car seat (unless you need to take a shower or something-we've all been there) I really don't think co-sleeping is the problem unless you happen to sleep on a hard wood floor or something.


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## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

I think the problem was her sleeping with her head on my arm. So my arm made a flat spot on her head. her poor lil noggin fits perfectly against my forearm...oops. By the time I realized what was happening, her head was growing REALLY lopsided. Looking at her from the front, you can see her right side is considerably 'higher' than the left.

either way, I don't think a crib is going to fix it now. I think that if I let her sleep on the opposite side of her head (she'd been sleeping with her head on her right side almost every night) for a few more weeks I'll continue to see her head balancing out.

I'm not a doctor, but that's my gut instinct.
I think my NP and doc think that if she's in bed with me, she'll just automatically go on to the flat side (that's natural to do for babies with flat spots I guess). But I can make sure she's on her non-flat side better if she's beside me than if she's alone in her cosleeper.

i think this is mostly just a case of medical pro's not being comfortable "allowing" people to cosleep. So they may just be jumping to this conclusion because they think cosleeping is dangerous anyway.

We'll see. I see the doctor next wednesday and if she won't work WITH me on this, I'll ask for a referral out to a pedi, one who is a bit more AP-friendly.

Thanks for letting me kind of work this all out in words, it made it kind of make sense in my head.

I don't want to push my poor lil peanut out of the bed this young. I just don't. It's just not an option. She naps in her wrap or sling during the day, gets down to stretch out and play and babble when she wants to, but really the only time she's ever on her back is if we have to go somewhere in the car, or if she's sleeping.

I'm sure she'll be fine. And if it doesn't get better, well we will cross that bridge when we get to it I guess. We've still got some time. I didn't even catch Evan's flat spot til he was over a year old, and even then the pedi we saw wasn't too worried. As long as it's not affecting their facial structure in a serious kind of way, it's purely cosmetic...that's his thinking, and I agree I guess.


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## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

Oh and the positioner is this thing:
http://www.toysrus.ca/product/index....TRUSCA/2567270

And with Evan, me, DH, and Abby in a queen sized bed, we just don't have room for her to use this. And either way, my arm does the same thing as the positioner if I want it to - I can keep her head OFF my forearm but just have an arm around her keeping her almost on her side.


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## lurve (May 5, 2006)

my babe sleeps on my arm to this day - she's 21 months old. she had a bit of a flat spot but i physically switch her from one side to another during the night - coinciding with nursing. i just felt her head and no flat spots.


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## Emmeline II (Feb 16, 2006)

In "From One Prick to Another" Hilary Butler talks about how "flat spots" were unheard of until recent history, and before crib mattresses babes slept of mattresses stuffed with husks and covered with a down filled "pad". It seems counter intuitive to put a baby with a flat spot from hard surfaces onto another hard surface alone.

How about a down filled pillow in your bed?

This has nothing to do with co-sleeping or we'd all be having this problem. It just a tendency that is inherited and you have to work around it.


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## Friday13th (Jun 13, 2006)

What about moving her from one side to another? I know you have another child in bed with you but maybe he could sleep on the outside by his father and you could alternate what side the baby slept on?

DS never had a noticable flat spot which may just be luck but I also moved him from one side on another over the course of the night, as I switched boobs. Although I just realized she sleeps for a much longer time than he ever did so maybe just make an effort to have her sleep on your other side?


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## milkybean (Mar 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EvansMomma* 
T...and put her in a sleep positioner so that she's on a 45 degree angle ...

vs

Quote:

sleep in the crook of my arm with her head on my arm

I am so NOT seeing much of a difference here.

Find a cranio sacral therapy practitioner. upledger.com or dot org will have a link to find a person. DS had a funky shaped head for a few weeks, we took him in, and over the course of the day his head changed shape. It was incredible.

Quote:

And with Evan, me, DH, and Abby in a queen sized bed, we just don't have room for her to use this.
We only have one child but we outgrew the Queen when DS wasn't even 2. King size, if possible, should help.

But if you really are thinking about sending her to a different bed...I hate to say this, but what about sending the older one to a different bed instead? That way she gets what he had, too?

Can't believe that I, the eldest, am advocating sending the eldest elsewhere, but it just seems more "right" if the only consideration is to send one to another sleeping surface.

I don't see the 45" angle, or any angle on that sleep positioner from the .ca site?

Lastly, we didn't use an angular positioner, but at the beginning we did have a positioner not all that different from what you linked to. And it certainly didn't prevent DS from turning his head! So you might do all of this, but have the "result" messed with b/c she might turn her head in her sleep.

Good luck!


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## accountclosed2 (May 28, 2007)

DD tuned her head back and forward from day 1 - no sleep positioner would have made much of a difference, and she had a favourite side And she always slept in between us in our queen bed. However, she' s never ever had a flat spot.

She's also never on her back except when sleeping, she' s usually upright. And hated the infant car seat!

I think it might be hereditary, however, keeping them off their backs in seats or on floor makes sense, I guess, as I am sure that coul make it worse for a baby prone to flat head.

I wouldn't stop co sleeping if I were you. And also, I would take my my daughter to see the osteopath (here they do cranial osteopathy om babies, quite similar I think to cranio sacral therapy?). We saw the osteopath when DD was newborn, and I'm getting another appointment this week, for sleep issues. It is very, very gentle.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I don't see how a crib would help.

Why not just change position through the night? I change Lina over when ever I roll over in bed (plus it lets her nurse on the other side.)


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *milkybean* 
But if you really are thinking about sending her to a different bed...I hate to say this, but what about sending the older one to a different bed instead? That way she gets what he had, too?









: I don't get putting the new baby, who definitely needs mama all night, to sleep in a crib. (I've also seen people say they can't cosleep because they don't want to move their *dogs*.)


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## Doussou (May 22, 2005)

I didn't read through all the posts, but another suggestion is to see a pediatric physical therapist (yes, I'm biased, because I am one







). They should be able to help you problem-solve how she is positioned, not only while sleeping at night, but all day long as well. It is absolutely ridiculous to recommend stopping co-sleeping. Good luck!


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## EvansMomma (Mar 7, 2006)

So if anyone's interested, here's our most recent update.
On the 29th we saw the physician who works at our Nurse Practitioner's clinic. She's a really sweet, kind, supportive woman. Anyway, she and I agreed that in just the couple of weeks since I've been keeping Abigail off her flat spot, there's already vast improvements.

Her right ear was not lining up with her left, since her right side of her head was squishing upwards so badly because of the flat spot. That was a concern, since that meant her facial symmetry was going into "very serious" territory.

But that's all better almost. Both of her ears are normal now. Her head doesn't look dramatically squished anymore. I think it's getting better. And the Doctor agreed with me.

So at this point, she did give us a referral to a pediatrician, just to have another person keeping an eye on it. Our only concern now is not so much the cosmetic look of her head or face, but her neck muscles are a bit tight. So we'll see how she does in the next couple of weeks and at her next follow up (november 11th) we may ask for a referral to a physical therapist just to help loosen up the tight muscles on the right side of her neck.

So. YAY!! She's getting better already, and we don't have to quit cosleeping. The doc said "Hey, you're the mama and if I know ANYTHING about babies, it's that we do NOT want you to take 10 steps backwards when it comes to her sleep, so you do what you gotta do as long as it's safe".

I know I don't need their "permission", but it's always good to have people caring for my children who are understanding of how we do things as parents.


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## Emmeline II (Feb 16, 2006)

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