# Did I miscarry?



## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

I'm only 3 or 4 wks, but 5 HPT said I was pregnant. I've had spotting since Monday - a week ago, but yesterday I started to get period-like cramps and a couple hours after I started to have period-like bleeding. In the middle of the night some clots passed into the toilet - I didn't flush because I was hoping the blod might dissipate and show whether there was tissue. My midwife said I would know if I had miscarried - but I don't. I looked at the clot after and some dissipated - it looked like it could be tissue but I wasn't sure. Before I could go look again in a couple hours someone had flushed it by accident. I've continued to have cramps and period-like bleeding all morning and afternoon today. Is it possible my baby could still be alive after all this? I have prayed and tried to relax, but I can't get any sense of it. My heart is telling me that the baby is still alive, but could that just be my wishes? My brain is telling me that that clot was probably the baby. What do you think? It's Sunday so I can't go see anyone till tomorrow unless I go to the ER.


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## Leilamus (Jun 12, 2006)

I'm sorry, I don't have any words of advice to offer, but I couldn't read this and not post. Can you call your MW again? Or see her tomorrow? I'm sure talking to her might help. I wish I had more useful and insightful words right now.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

For your own peace of mind I would go in monday and find out for sure. There have been so many who thought they m/c but didnt with the bleeding so without conformation there really isnt any way to know.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. There is no way to tell for sure now. I would try to get an US in the morning, although probably not in the ER, because of the kind of experience I would expect there.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

I would go in for at least a beta HCG tomorrow. If you are nearly 5 weks, you would expect to see a sac in the uterus, no baby yet. When is/was AF due? If you are not yet a week late, you won;t really see anything on u/s yet.

Sos orry for the ambiguity. Hope things turn out well.


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

I *think* I will be four weeks on this Wednesday, because we think we conceived on the 22nd. But the first day of my last period was on the 14th - it ended on the 18th. So because my cycle is every three weeks, I should have started my period on the 9th. Which is why we didn't think we were pregnant at first because I started spotting on the tenth - I thought it was the beginning of my period. But when my period didn't really begin to flow after a couple days, I took a pregnancy test on this past Wednesday, and it was positive! So I took two more on Thursday to be sure since I took a test that had expired it's date. Then I took two more on Friday because I was so amazed. So 5 positive tests! So, anyway, since my cycle is every three weeks, I should have started on the 9th, so today would be a week late. But I didn't see a sac - at least I don't think it was - unless it was really little. So maybe I'm OK. I left a message for my midwife, but she hadn't gotten back to me yet.


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## swimswamswum (Oct 26, 2005)

I had spotting during my first trimester. After a couple of really scary episodes, I have had a completely uncomplicated, healthy pregnancy. I hope you have the same.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

I hadn't paid attention, and indeed, an US this early will not be conclusive one way or the other.
How are you doing?


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:

My midwife said I would know if I had miscarried
Not always.. I've misscarried twice one at 8 weeks one at 12 weeks both have been silent miscarriages without any pain just heavy bleeding and passing of clots. If it wasn't for the sonograms confirming and such I wouldn't have really known. (just worried a ton). I'd call deffietly it could be nothing or it could be something. Eaither way you should know.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

did you find anything out?


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

Some women have periods while they are pregnant. However, this sounds a lot like my miscarriage at 5 weeks. I think you should take another HPT and see if its still positive, or have your mw order blood counts. Any bleeding, especially heavy bleeding or clots needs to be checked out. I miscarried at 5 weeks, and it was like a regular period, slightly heavier than usual. I miscarried at 12 weeks and it was lots of blood all at once & some clots, but no products of conception were ever identified. I consulted with several doctors about this, and they said if it was a missed miscarriage a lot could have been broken down & reabsorbed by my body to result in this. So I definately wouldn't rule out a miscarriage based on not seeing a sac!

*hugs* my heart goes out to you. Let us know how you are doing.


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

Thank you all for all your support and advice. I haven't been able to post because my internet is down at home.

So I went to the doctor on Monday, and they took blood and did a vaginal ultrasound. They couldn't see or hear anything on the ultrasound, but since it's so early, it is inconclusive. He said it could be a completely normal pregnancy and they might not see or hear anything. So I found out that my hCG level was 102 on Monday. Would that be low for 4 weeks?

They took my blood again this morning and I should find out if it has gone up or down tomorrow. The doctor said this could still be inconclusive because it could be going down and I still could be pregnant, but at least it will give us a better idea. There supposed to take more blood tomorrow and compare all three.

I've taken off work until today per reccomendation of my midwife. She said to take it easy until we find out if there is a viable baby. I have also taken 2000 IUs Vitamin E and crampbark tea twice a day per her as well.

I had cramps until yesterday, but they lessened each day, and I have been period-like bleeding - including now - although it has tapered off a little bit. My period usually only lasts four days, but this has been six days now of heavy to moderate bleeding.

This is the weird part. I have started having pregnancy symptoms again - maybe I've been having them throughout the cramping, etc. and just didn't notice because of cramping. Maybe it's because I've been moving around more yesterday and today. But yesterday and today, I've started to feel nauseous again. A lot. And other symptoms - like feeling overheated - I get that when I'm pregnant. Also, I've taken two more pregnancy tests and they've both come up positive. I know that hCG levels stay in your body for awhile, but for some reason, even knowing this, it has given me hope.

I seem to be on an emotional roller coaster. Up until Tuesday, I was still believing that I was pregnant. Then I passed a clot on Tuesday mid-day that looked like it could be a sac or something - I moved it around and it wouldn't come apart. And after washing it, it didn't dissipate into just blood, it stayed as this light pink colored tissue stuff. So I cried, thinking I was holding the remains of the baby & sac, etc. Could it be possible that wasn't a sac? Could something like that come out with it not being that? Two more smaller clots came out too that were the same story.

But then Wednesday the cramping mostly stopped, the bleeding mostly stopped, and I started feeling nauseous. So I began to have hope. I have this nagging feeling that maybe I had twins at first and I miscarried one. Or is that me just hoping there is a baby left? My daughter prayed for twins - and so we've been wondering all along if that was possible







. Plus, I've been more nauseous with this pregnancy then I ever was with Lillian - I never actually threw up with her, just felt quesy. But this time, I've thrown up once and almost did two more times. Aren't you more nauseous with two?
Also, the pregnancy tests showed that they were positive within seconds, even though I was really early.

I still feel so sad, because I think I must have miscarried at least one. I'm mean, I'm *still* bleeding. How could I be bleeding this much and have had that many cramps without miscarrying? It is so strange because I don't give a thought to the bleeding during my period, but every time I bleed now, I feel sadness, I feel like life is going out of me.

So it's emotional. I can hardly stand to wait till tomorrow. That's why I went and got a pregnancy test. I got a First Response Rapid Result. Because I saw on a website that First Response has 100 hCG level. But, then I looked at peeonastick.com, and that level is for First Response One Step. I was thinking that if I tested positive on a test that read 100 that would mean I hadn't gone down at least.

So can anyone make anything of this? I guess I just have to wait and see the results tomorrow.


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

I hate the roller coaster ride. That's how mine was too, I was spotting, felt fine, didn't worry. Then bleeding, then it stopped. I have no idea what to tell you other than I'm sorry you are having to go through this.

When I miscarried at 5 weeks, my HCG levels were at 2 within 4 days after I miscarried. I have no idea whether 102 is high or low, but with the levels they are doing for me now, they said the initial number doesn't matter, its the difference between the 2, and whether it goes up or down that matters.


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

My levels went from 102 on Monday to 155 on Thursday! They said that usually it will double by that time, but that it was OK. They want to make sure it's not utopic or anything. It still is technically inconclusive. But I can't help but being over the moon with joy. My husband says don't get too excited, just in case. But I can't help it. I have been grinning all morning. It's a miracle. I feel guilty being so happy on this subforum where so many have experienced a loss. I hope my happiness does not cause you further pain. But I did want to give an update.


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## zoie2013 (Mar 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippiekaren* 
My levels went from 102 on Monday to 155 on Thursday! They said that usually it will double by that time, but that it was OK. They want to make sure it's not utopic or anything. It still is technically inconclusive. But I can't help but being over the moon with joy. My husband says don't get too excited, just in case. But I can't help it. I have been grinning all morning. It's a miracle. I feel guilty being so happy on this subforum where so many have experienced a loss. I hope my happiness does not cause you further pain. But I did want to give an update.

Be over the moon. It's good to hear some hope in this forum. I think we've all gone through the full range of emotions with one another here and hold each other's hearts in safety. I will be sending sticky thoughts your way.


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

I'm hoping for the best. I hate the roller coaster ride of waiting to find out what is going on!

What do you do next to find out? More ultrasounds or what?

Hang in there. I'm sending out lots of good thoughts for you!


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

The OB's going to look at my levels including Fri, and call me and set up an appt. The nurse said that they will probably want to schedule another US for next week. I see my midwife this thursday. I know this baby is OK, but I am still worried because I'm still spotting. I've been spotting a total of 15 days now - so that definately worries me. I period-like bled for eight days. Thankfully, I think that has ended. It's mostly just brown spotting now, with some bright red. I am just praying and hoping and believing that this baby is OK. I am thanking God for the blessings of hope we have already been given.


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

The OB's going to look at my levels including Fri, and call me and set up an appt. The nurse said that they will probably want to schedule another US for next week. I see my midwife this thursday. I know this baby is OK, but I am still worried because I'm still spotting. I've been spotting a total of 15 days now - so that definately worries me. I period-like bled for eight days. Thankfully, I think that has ended. It's mostly just brown spotting now, with some bright red. I am just praying and hoping and believing that this baby is OK. I am thanking God for the blessings of hope we have already been given.


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

My levels went from 102 on Monday two weeks ago to 155 that Thursday to 198 that Friday. That's great right? Then they took blood again this past Thursday, I just found out that there down to 53.








I cried all morning.







: I tried to tell myself that I didn't know yet for sure anything, but it's hard to hold back those emotions of sadness for what you think might have happened. I thought that everything was OK. I felt in my heart that everything was OK. That's why I was so shocked. How could this be? I'm hoping it was a lab mix up, mess up - whatever. I just don't know anymore. What a rollercoaster.









I'm supposed to have an appointment Wednesday. I'm supposed to have another ultrasound. Will they still do an ultrasound? I haven't been able to talk to the doctor since the first time I met him. So I don't know what all this means. I guess all I can do is wait, and pray, and trust in God to help me and our family through this.


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

I am so sorry. I hope you are able to find out for sure soon.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's difficult to be uncertain for so long. If your levels went down, that's not a good sign, though. Even in the beginning, your levels doubled over 4 days, where they should double over 48-72 hours. Of course, as long as there's nothing definitive, all you _can_ do is hope and pray.
I think you should still get an US, because by now something should be visible if all is well. If not, it'll tell you something more about what still to expect (i.e. whether the m/c is completed or not, sorry to be so crude).
I wish you strength to make it through those days.


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## Degas (Sep 13, 2007)

My levels have gone down to at least 20. I'm supposed to have blood taken again next week to make sure it goes back to zero.







: The OB said it was probably a chemical pregnancy. Does anybody else find that that term sort of undermines your feelings? I feel like that term is saying that it wasn't really like I was pregnant. But I had like 10 BFPs. I felt more pregnant this time early on than my first pregnancy that I carried full term. Does anybody else feel like this?

Then sometimes I feel silly about my Mom making such a big deal about it. She spent $700 to fly here short notice! I was really grateful for the support and I think she is wonderful, but I guess with the OB saying it was a chemical pregnancy and acting like it was no big deal - I guess I am not sure how I feel. The day I found out it went down to 53 I bawled. But since then I haven't really cried. I've been sad and sometimes on the verge, but I haven't actually cried since I found out it was definate. So then I feel guilty, because I haven't cried for this baby, this soul that has left my body. I feel like I should feel worse. It's all so confusing.

Also, now my husband and I are really wanting a baby now. When we were pregnant we were so excited about it, but he's in school and I'm working and we're paying for my child's expensive (but the best thing for her) school and afterschool, and we were going to have to take out more student loans to have this baby we lost. We have already taken $65,000 in loans already from us both being in school and having a baby at that time. We are just meeting our expenses with my salary now, so we would definately have to take out more. Also, I am always stressed now, with my husband's parenting style conflicting with mine and always seeming to have an intense home environment, I don't know if we should bring another baby into it. We're in counseling, which has helped, but everything is still stressful. I really really want a baby, and I want my daughter to be able to have a sibling somewhat close in age. If we wait till my husband is out of school, she will be 6 1/2. But I'm thinking it would be better to have a wider age gap than a baby being brought into a stressful environment. So, I also feel guilty for thinking maybe now is not the best time for a baby (although I know there is no "best" time). I know babies don't miscarry because of your thoughts, but I still feel guilty.

Aaaah! I am so overwhelmed!







I have been crying the past couple days because I feel so overwhelmed. I also feel overwhelmed at my job...I think maybe I am a little depressed. I find it hard to get motivated to do anything except come onto mothering.com...

Advice, help anyone?

I think maybe I should go see a counselor by myself too, it's just finding the time and energy to do it.


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## swimswamswum (Oct 26, 2005)

I'm so sorry mama. Be gentle with yourself.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

I am so sorry momma!! Another name for a chemical pregnancy is a blighted ovum I believe. You might want to search on here for blighted ovum or on the internet. Basically you DID conceive, but then the fetus didn't develop. I am so sorry. And it IS a big deal, that was your baby. HUGS!


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I dislike the terms "chemical pregnancy" or (to a lesser extent) "blighted ovum". I do think it makes it sound like you "weren't really pregnant". The way I look at it, is that it was a very early pregnancy that didn't make it. Not any less real or true.
I think it's great your mom came. Obviously, she thinks it's a big deal too, unlike some other people, and wants to be there for you. Take it!
I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I think it's understandable, given the circumstances, but that doesn't mean you couldn't use counseling. I hope you can arrange that for yourself if you think it might help.
Wishing you strength and healing..


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## normajean (Oct 21, 2003)

I am so sorry. *hugs*

Hang in there.


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