# When did you first learn about circ?



## mamakay (Apr 8, 2005)

I don't mean the debate...I mean the actual idea of it.

I was 6 and my mom brought my newborn brother home from the hospital. During a diaper change I saw the bandage and the blood, and kind of freaked out.
I remember them saying "It's just a little piece of skin"
(Sure looked like the whole thing was messed up to me!)
And "It doesn't really do anything anyway".

I remember feeling very sorry for my poor baby brother. As a 6 year old I knew blood meant pain, and blood _there_ was very scary.
I kind of think that on some level we all recoiled in horror when we first learned about circ as kids. Kids see scary, nightmarish stuff for what it is. It takes years to understand the concept of "necessary evil". (A concept that might or might not be total BS all aroud).

Do you remember when you first heard about circ?


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

I don't remember my age, but I was a kid. My mother said that circumcision was a horrible, barbaric act and that if she'd had any idea what it was she would have never consented to it for my brother (born in 1969). Apparently they took my brother into a little alcove right off the room where my mother was recovering in order to do it--my mother heard him screaming and asked what happened and was completely horrified to find out what circumcision was. She never had another son but she was adamantly against circumcision and regretted horribly that it happened to my brother.

Knowing how I sobbed and sobbed when my son got the minimally painful and IMO very necessary heel prick for newborn screening, it just baffles me that it doesn't rip every mother's heart out to even consider circumcision on their tiny baby boys. I guess it's not typically done in earshot, tho.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

I was 19. Isn't that funny?

My first boyfriend, when I was sixteen, was intact, but I didn't really get what that meant-- I have two circed younger brothers, but you sure don't mentally compare your brothers' genitals with your boyfriend's. Ewww.

Anyways, my NEXT boyfriend, at 19, was circumcised, and I remember wondering what was wrong with his penis. I mean really, the circ does reduce the possibility for play IYKWIM.

So I ASKED what the deal was, because I am the queen of







in the lovin' department. He was kinda pissed about it, but did explain. :LOL

The relationship was shortlived after that.


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## njeb (Sep 10, 2002)

Well, I'm 50 years old, and I honestly don't remember when I first learned about circ.! :LOL









What I do remember, however, is a conversation I had with my brother when I was about 16 or 17 years old. I asked him if he was circ'ed, and he said "No, I'm not." He then said he was glad he wasn't. (He's 10 years older than I am). Well, that conversation was a big reason why I didn't circ. my son who was born 7 years later. Thanks, big brother!


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## Kathryn (Oct 19, 2004)

My mom had an in home daycare and I used to change some of the kiddos diapers. Well, we watched this one little boy who was intact so that's what I thought they were supposed to look like (and they are!), but when I changed another little boys diaper and he was cut, I was in shock. I was disgusted. It looked so vulnerable to everything. I couldn't imagine why anyone in their right mind would cut off a perfectly useful normal piece of skin.

When I first started having relations with men, they were almost all circed. I always would spend a few minutes looking them over and mentally pointing out all the mess ups caused by circing. I saw at least 3 on every guy.


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## Super Pickle (Apr 29, 2002)

I was about 8 when I saw a circumstraint in the doc's office. I asked Mom what it was and she told me. I was shocked and said, "Does it _hurt?"_ My mom said, "Well, _yeah_, of course it hurts, but what are you going to do? It _has_ to be done!" That's when I decided I never wanted a son.(In defense of my mom, she was just repeating what the authoritarian doctor had told her. She's been extremely supportive in my decision not to circ and is awesome in general).

At 12, I babysat regularly for the kids across the street. A very sweet, devout family and the mom was an LLL leader. I noticed the boy's penis looked "weird" and wondered what was "wrong" with it (it was intact). Didn't put the pieces together until _years_ later.

Fast forward to college. Spent a year in Europe. Noticed that all the sculptures and paintings in the art museums had pointy penises on the men. Thought it was some kind of modesty thing, like, the artists didn't want to go into too much detail down there. NEVER occured to me that they were intact. Also wondered why the other girls couldn't get enough of sex with French men. See, I'm still under the unconscious assumption that _everyone has_ to be circed or....what? I don't know!

Also in college, I am privy to a conversation about what guys "use" while mastubating. One said soap, one said a tissue, one snobby pretentious guy said a silk handkerchief. Wondered why they had to "use" anything, but of couurse still did not connect the dots.

Crazy.


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## feebeeglee (Nov 30, 2002)

First time I heard the story of Abraham, I was about 6 or 7. With no visual to go with it, and having only seen little baby penises with healed circumcisions, I wondered what on earth it was that Jewish people cut off! :LOL

Didn't give it another thought until I got pregnant with #1 and found out it hurt like hell, reduced erogenous tissue, and was totally unnecessary. I didn't even agonize about it - I just thought, oh, well, that's good to hear! We won't do _that_! Eww!


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## My2Matthews (Aug 9, 2004)

I don't remember, but I do remember the first time I saw an intact penis. I was 15 and was babysitting for a family from South Africa and while changing their baby's diaper, I noticed there was something wrong (in my mind at the time) with his penis, but did not really connect what it was -- I just thought babies must grow into the head-exposed look.







I even knew what circumcision was at the time (although I thought it was some painless procedure all baby boys went through) and I didn't connect the dots.

Just a few months after that, I was on a message board and witnessed a circumcision debate. I realized circ for what a horrible thing it was, and have not looked back ever since.


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## MonicaS (Oct 27, 2002)

I have a brother who is circ, so I was pretty much raised thinking all boys were born w/ penises that looked like that(shared a bedroom until I was in 1st grade). I knew of the word circ and knew it happened to boys' penises, but that's it. When I was a teenager, I checked out a book at the library about our growing bodies. Boys and girls were in the same book. It had a pic of intact and circ'd. I thought the intact looked REALLY weird. I decided I preferred the circ'd pic.(I know...conditioning.







)

Fast forward to 16 yrs old. My BF, that I LOVED dearly, informed me he was "not circumcised".(His parents came here from Bulgaria.) He was all nervous about it. I shrugged, OK. It never got in the way of anything romantic. I never gave it a 2nd thought. We were together for over 3 yrs.

Eventhough, I had first hand experience w/ foreskin, I thought it still "had" to be done to American boys. I honestly had NO idea what actually happened during a circ, what was removed. I still thought of it as a simple slice, like the cord and the necessary pain of a heel prick.







: If I ever saw an intact baby penis(hosp baby pics or TV), I wouldn't have put 2 and 2 together.

Luckly, I happened upon a circ debate(*after* I had already had 2 DDs) and was shockingly informed about the truth of circ. HECK NO would I do something like that to my baby!!! It took me a matter of minutes to decide that. I don't need studies to tell me "excruciating, unnecessary pain = AIN'T gonna happen to my babe."


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## wendy1221 (Feb 9, 2004)

I have 2 younger brothers, so I knew what it was, thought it was just something that was just done. No questions (which is actually weird for me, I question everything! LOL!) Then when I was in college, I started working at a daycare. MOST of the boys were intact there and I changed PLENTY of diapers and wet (accidents) pants, believe me! LOL! (interestingly, I never changed a single girl diaper there. They were all potty trained! It was 2-6 year olds. I did help them change into a dry clothes a time or 2, but changing diapers is when you really see the parts.) By the time I got pg w/ ds1, just a few months after starting to work there, intact little boy penises had become the norm for me. And as soon as I found out it was a boy, the first thing those ladies at the daycare asked me was if I was going to circ. ANd they said it in a way that I knew they didn't like the idea. LOL! It also helped that I took the Bradley Method and was lent boxes and boxes of back issues of Mothering dating from about 1980 to 1989. Ds's dad gave me some grief over it, but we weren't married and he was an ass, so I felt no need to do anything for him. Especially hurt my precious baby! And very luckily, all the peds in that town were pretty against circ, so when he asked about having it done at the hospital and the ped came into the room to discuss it, as soon as she found out I was against it, she basically put him in his place. LOL!


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## eckmannl (Nov 9, 2004)

I don't remember a time when I didn't know what it was, so maybe elementary school? I was raised to think that it was a necessary thing that all boys had done. The first time I actually thought about it was when a very closed-minded "friend" of mine was telling how she was disgusted to find out that the man she was dating had not been circ'd. That was when I was about 20. That was one of those light bulb moments, it had never occured to me that not everyone had it done. Then a few years later when I got pregnant I started researching


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## susienjay (Oct 20, 2004)

I first heard the term when I was 6. That's when my younger brother was born and he's intact. I had heard my parents talk about not having him circed but I didn't really know what it was. I did notice that my brothers penis looked different from my circed cousin but I never thought much about it. Didn't really hear about circ again until I was dating my first boyfriend. I had asked him why his penis looked so funny because my brothers was really the only other one I'd seen. He could not believe my brother wasn't circed and he didn't know anyone that wasn't. He told me all guys had to be circed so they could have sex when they were older.







: I actually had to tell him that the foreskin does retract (I'd seen my brother pull his back a few times so I knew that much). He didn't even know that but he still felt that there must be a good reason for circ or people wouldn't do it. Didn't really think about it again until I was expecting my first. Dh didn't want to do it so I didn't really look into it. It wasn't until close friends circed their son and I saw them changin him a few weeks after it and saw how incredibly red it looked that I started my research.


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## Ilaria (Jan 14, 2002)

I really started thinking about it when I was in college (in the US, I'm from Italy) and babysat for a baby boy...his penis was all red and I just had a hard time looking at it. Weird, I had been with intact guys (in Italy) and circ'd in the Us and never really stopped to think about it much.


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## rozzie'sma (Jul 6, 2005)

In high school my best friend's boyfriend wasn't circ'd and I remember thinking how weird that was (I know, but I had never seen an intact one). Then I didn't give it much thought until my sis had a boy and circ'd him. I just want to cry when I see his penis. My mom told her all the it has to be done stories and I didn't know better cause I have a girl and never really looked into it. If I ever have a boy intact he will be.


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## zavierchick (May 12, 2005)

with two little bros, all I had seen was circ'ed growing up. all but one of the guys I knew were circ'ed, so like ppers i just assumed it was the norm, one of those things you did, like cutting cord, etc. DH's was botched a bit, he has more foreskin left then he should, probably makes him a bit more "sensitive" then most







at any rate, we looked into it for reals when we found out we were expecting ds, took me about 5 minutes on nocirc to decide it wasn't happening, another 5 to tell dh and him to agree, and that was that. our ped is a 3 dr practice, so whichever doc is in on your delivery date actually checks out baby and whatnot. dr bob asked if we wanted to, we said no way, he said fine, baby looks great and that was it at the hospital. first check up we saw my fave doc, i was a little nervous because i didn't know her opinion. she took a look, and said GOOD FOR YOU!! she hadn't done either of her boys and was proud of us for going against the norm for CO.


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## Minky (Jun 28, 2005)

I vaguely remember my mother saying something about being glad that halfsister and I were girls because she didn't "have to" have us cut. It was in a context like all little boys needed it. And later she did have my little bro circed. The first guy I encountered who wasnt circed was my abuser but we'll leave that out of this. The next time I remember it mentioned was I had a friend in college who would tell me how disgusting it was that a boyfriend of hers hadn't been circed.

I have never encountered not circing in a positive contest until now.


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## bremen (Feb 12, 2005)

i first heard the term circumcision when i was 12. a friend got a new baby brother. when he was a few days old, my friend comes to school saying that her baby brother will be circumcised. i asked what it was. she said that they take part of the penis away that he doesn't need, and then use it to make skin grafts. i thought that circumcision was the same thing as a vasectomy. i thought it was so wrong for parents to make decisions like that for their sons. then my mom told me that it wasn't the same thing as a vasectomy, but i still thought it was really strange to mess around with a baby's genitals.

then, when i was 19, i saw an intact penis for the first time. i went to switzerland to be a nanny for twins. one had hypospadia, and one was intact. the parents told me that one had a birth defect on his penis, and one was normal. i didn't know which was which. the hypospadias seemed more normal to me, because there was the hooded foreskin, an "extra flap of skin" and the glans was exposed. the intact one looked strange.
soon after that, i started having experience with adult men, and first experienced intact adult. months later, the first time i experienced a circed adult, i quite honestly didn't know what to do with it. i still don't. to me, a circed adult seems like half the fun parts are missing


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## Frankly Speaking (May 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bremen*
the first time i experienced a circed adult, i quite honestly didn't know what to do with it. i still don't. to me, a circed adult seems like half the fun parts are missing

:LOL I can imagine! I'm sure I would be thinking the same thing if I encountered a woman with no labia. "OK, what the heck do I do with this thing?" It would be like going to the grocery store on a motorcycle.

Frank


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## Doodlebugsmom (Aug 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super Pickle*

Fast forward to college. Spent a year in Europe. Noticed that all the sculptures and paintings in the art museums had pointy penises on the men. Thought it was some kind of modesty thing, like, the artists didn't want to go into too much detail down there. NEVER occured to me that they were intact.

Sorry, but :LOL

The first time I really thought about circ was the first time a saw a penis close-up. :LOL It was my first boyfriend. He had a massive scar and I asked about it. He said it was from circ. I didn't really think anything of it at the time. My next boyfriend, now dh has a similar scar.







I learned of the controversy of male circ while looking at the NOW website. I was reading about FGM and saw some info about MGM. I started reading and was shocked that people continue to do that to their babies. Honestly, I can't imagine a new mama who is informed about circ sending her baby off to have it done.


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

My first little brother was born when I was almost 5 (four days before my birthday actually) and I probably heard about it then, but didn't see any bloody diaper changes or anything and I would probably remember since I was five. I do remember being really upset that he was a boy in the first place so I probably didn't pay any attention to any details about him... By middle school I had had another baby brother, though I don't remember any bloody penis with him either







I think my Mother just changed his diapers till he was healed and I remember changing my sister (who was two when the youngest was born) a lot once my brother came. So I had no inclination to look at poopy diapers that weren't necessary for me to look at.

I thought it was normal and my parents told me it was (my Father was cut as well) and then in 7th grade my best friend told me that she was reading a book about our changing bodies (I don't remember which one...) but it talked about circumcision. The book said that circ was not necessary for cleanliness any more than perfume is necessary for cleanliness in girls. She then told me that her little brother (two years younger than us) was not circumcised. That threw me for a loop because I thought it was very necessary. However, I gave it no thought till I dated my first boyfriend (age 16) and couldn't figure out if he was circ'd or not and tried to find pictures online to help me out. We never got past the playing around stage (which is a very very GOOD thing because he turned out to be a jerk) and I never did figure out if he was or not...

Then when I started dating my dh (age 17), he mentioned to me that he could never be a porn star which puzzled me and I asked for more information. He told me that he wasn't circumcized and I told him that I knew next-to-nothing about it and didn't really care either way. Now I definitely love the fact that he's not and am very happy that his parents didn't mutilate him! I remember it seemed very difficult for him to tell me that he wasn't circ'd though probably because he knew it wasn't the norm.

I think that's all









love and peace.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
Anyways, my NEXT boyfriend, at 19, was circumcised, and I remember wondering what was wrong with his penis. I mean really, the circ does reduce the possibility for play IYKWIM.

So I ASKED what the deal was, because I am the queen of







in the lovin' department. He was kinda pissed about it, but did explain. :LOL


:LOL "Honey, what's wrong with your thing?" (







: <---- Eightyferrettoes )

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eightyferrettoes*
The relationship was shortlived after that.

Ah relationships! I had a similar experience once, but it wasn't about if he was circ'd or not.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I was nine years old.

After four sisters, I had a brother!

My brother was born at home.

My parents kept him intact. My Father was intact.

As she changed his diaper once, mother noted to me that in the Jewish religion the end of the penis is cut off.

I realy could not imagine what she was talking about.

Later at age 13, when I began babysitting and changing diapers of other baby boys, I knew what she meant.

However I was not babysitting Jewish boys.

These were Christian babies whose parents circumcised them.

At age fourteen, I had another little brother born at home and he was kept intact.

When I was sixteen I worked for a kosher catering service and often I catered small parties at homes where the brit milah was carried out.

So, I had a learning experience at nine, thirteen, fourteen, and sixteen.

We never stop learning.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

A post script:

Each of my brothers has a son of his own, and those little guys are intact also.

One of them is born at home.


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## Nathan1097 (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kathryn*
When I first started having relations with men, they were almost all circed. I always would spend a few minutes looking them over and mentally pointing out all the mess ups caused by circing. I saw at least 3 on every guy.

Sort of goes with my last reply.

Did any of these guys realize you were "critiquing" their circs?


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

Yeah, my family is Christian (so I don't understand why they chose to do it, but it was probably just because it was what was done - "hygiene") and my parents explained it by telling me about the circumcision in the Old Testament. I had forgotten about that part...

love and peace.


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nathan1097*
:LOL "Honey, what's wrong with your thing?" (







: <---- Eightyferrettoes )
.

:LOL I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

In high school, I heard about a boy in the school who was not circumcised. Girls were saying they wouldn't want to date him because of it. It was the first I'd heard about it. Later, I was there when my nephew was circumcised. He slept through it. It all seemed good, something hygenic and what I was used to.

Years later, when I was pregnant, my husband said that he would not want a son circumcised. This was a shock to me. I'd heard of female genital mutilation, but I didn't think of it that way for men. It was then that I learned that my husband felt that his parents shouldn't have done that to him, mutilated him in that way. He understood that they did what they thought was right, and, in fact, had no reason to question it back then. Still, he was adamantly against it for a child of his, and I learned about the other side of it then.


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## jyurina (Mar 17, 2005)

I also thought it was just something that was done. Then while ironing out birth plan details for ds's birth I was being SO adamnat about no episiotomy and then checked the box that said to circumcese our son. My husband said a very empathic NO WAY(He is circed) he asked me why I said no episiotomy. I said it hurt like hell and was totally unnecessary(yeah I know DUH!) He said he would go along if I researched circumcision. I went to the NOCIRC website and cried for hours that I had even considered it. BTW I ended up with an episiotomy and that pain made me even more angry that i even considered it.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I dont remember how old i was but I can remember my mother talking about my oldest brother who was left intact because the dr didnt beleive in it. But when he was 3 he had to have it done because of infection and his stream was very thin and it was ballooning. At the time didnt really think that much about it cause I never intended to have kids :LOL but by the time I was 18-20 and got interested in finding my life partner(i was a late developer in that reagaurd) :LOL I just knew that if I ever had a son I wouldnt do that to him. It just seemed so barbaric to my mind and still does.


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## sarahsmothering (May 26, 2005)

I first found out at the age of 9, when my baby brother was born. I thought it was crappy - but just the way things were - since I was at the age when I was realizing a lot of things in life are crappy. I was led to believe that's just the way things had to be. I obviously now know better.

The bf's I've had were circ'd except one... and once I experienced how wonderful uncirc'd is I never wanted to go back! unfortunately you can't control who you fall in love with on the condition of being circ'd or uncirc'd so I did end up marrying my dh who is circ'd. atleast we agree on one thing - if we have a little boy we are going to leave him be - in the perfect one piece he was made!


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## sappylady (Aug 8, 2005)

I don't remember when I first learned about circ. I do remember when my best friends was pregnant at 17 I tried to talk her out of circ'ing her son. That is the first time I ever gave circ a real thought. I am not sure how or why I knew what it was.


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## pjlioness (Nov 29, 2001)

I don't remember exactly when I heard about it, but I was pretty young. My folks were telling me about when I was born. My dad was in the Air Force then, so the birth was really cheap. My dad said my birth cost them $8, but if I had been a boy, I would have been circumcised and it would have been $11.

I don't remember when I found out exactly what being circ'd meant, but I know I had the notion that it was the thing to do, and no big deal.

When I was in high school in the mid-80's, my younger (male) cousin and I were staying with our grandparents. There was a story on some news show about circ. It talked about the pain and it being medically unnecessary. My cousin and I talked and decided that we wouldn't want to circ future kids. My cousin now has a son, but I don't know if he's circ'd or not, nor have I ever known if my cousin is, but I suspect he might not be.

When I told my dad we weren't going to circ if we had a boy, he said he was glad, because he'd always wished he was like his dad. OTOH, he still talks about how I would have cost $11 if I'd been a boy.







If we ever get into a big discussion about it, I'll probably point him to info on it, but it doesn't seem all that urgent, as he's not rabidly for it.

So, anyway, at least on my dad's side, circ only lasted one generation. It's possible that his brother wasn't done - he was born a few years before my dad, who was born in 1944 - and likely that my cousin on that side wasn't - he was born in Germany and didn't live long. I think my mom's dad is intact, but I have no idea about her brother, who is the above-mentioned cousin's father. I'm proud to carry on the _old_ tradition. :LOL


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## Velvet005 (Aug 9, 2004)

I first learned about circ when I was 17. I am an only child so I did not know there was any difference.

I was taking a healthcare class with my boyfriend (now DH







) it was a class to become a CNT (certified nurse technician - the one who does the "dirty" work) and the instructor was teaching about how to do bed baths and washing and intact (or uncircumsiced as she called it) penis. She taught us about pulling the foreskin back and everything (this was for a nursing home). At the time, I was given the impression that it was gross. However, when the time came for me to clean one, I did not find it to be any more gross than cleaning a circumsiced penis. Honestly, at 17, I did not care for cleaning any old man's genitals. That was the worst and most depressing job I ever had. I lasted all of 3 mos before I said no more. Some of the things I witnessed left me in tears. -Sorry I got off topic. It took me back to those days


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## DavinaT (Jun 28, 2005)

-


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## DavinaT (Jun 28, 2005)

- Posting from Ireland: I suppose the first time I heard of it was when I was about 9 or 10 in bible study class in my (catholic) junior school. - Perhaps there was a reference to a biblical character being circumcised.
So I went home and asked by mother what circumcision was, she explained that it was an operation a doctor had to do where they cut off the skin at the top of a little boy's 'tinkie' (her little word for penis) if it got sick - like the way my sister's appendix was sick so she had it taken out. Then she asked me where I'd heard about it. When I told her it was in bible class, she explained that it was something all little jewish boys had done. When I asked why and if all their 'tinkies' got sick, she said no, it was becuase of their tradition. When I asked why (being at the age where I questioned everything) she said she didn't know and maybe I should ask the teacher - which I did and she told me that long long ago God had commanded them to do it at the time becuase they lived out in the desert them where there was no water to wash that part of them. I accepted this at the time.
I never knew what a circed penis looked like because here there are no circs carried out whatsoever, except in the case of medical neccessity - such as phimosis or ballinaitis or similar serious infections.
I was shocked to discover in my teens that thse were carried out almost routinely in the U.S. often with no medical basis whatsoever. My poor mother was even more shocked to learn this becuase as a child her generation had always looked to the states as being at the forefront of so many things modern including medecine and tradition.
In fact only, recently I saw a relgious documentary which featued a jewish ritual circumcision. To my horror this was not carried out in a hospital or doctors office under aseptic conditions with a local aneastheic but it a synagogue by a religious leader.
Now, when a child cries my first instinct would be to pick him up, comfort him and try to put right what was causing the problem - feeding, changing etc. But this little boy screamed in agony the way one would imagine a pig screaming as it was being butchered (I don't mean for this compatrison to offend anyone just to give an idea of how excruciating this sounded for the poor little baby) and those around it took not the slightest notice of his screams until they had finished cutting him.
Afterwards, his grandfather proudly told the reporter that the little boy was only 8 days old.
I had to leave the room. I literally felt physically sick.


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## oliviagoddess (Jan 10, 2003)

I don't know, I think I was like 14 and I had a girlfriend and we were talking about sex. My mom heard us and said "Dear god, don't ever circ your sons, it's why American men are so bad in bed!" She was adamant and said that European men do it longer and have more fun.

Well this was enough to convince my teen hormones that it was a bad thing and stuck with that idea.

I only have a daughter but I have tried telling that to every girlfriend since. If only they'd believe me!


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## katallen (Jan 4, 2005)

When my mom taught us about sex and body parts she also explained circumsicion. I don't know what age I first heard it because I heard it so much. She was very against circumsising because she had a good doctor who educated her about it and she made sure to educate us about it too.


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Frankly Speaking*
It would be like going to the grocery store on a motorcycle.

Frank

*lol* I almost fell off my chair when I read that. Thanks.









The first time the difference between circ and intact came to my attention was when my husband and I started dating seriously *ahem* and I realized he was intact, which was new to me. I'd honestly never really thought about it one way or the other before that. (I don't have any brothers.) I just noticed that dh was more fun than previous experience had led me to believe guys could be in that respect.

Later, when I was pregnant, his mother explained that the hospital staff offered to have him circumsized when he was born and her mama instincts came roaring out and she told them if they tried to cut him there would be hell to pay. Good mama. I'd looked into it by that point and dh had made his feelings on the matter extremely clear when his nephew was circ'd, so she was pretty happy to hear that if we ever have a boy we wouldn't consider circ'ing.


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## Venice Mamacita (Dec 24, 2003)

Like PPs, I learned about it when my first baby brother came home from the hospital, when I was 3.5. But I learned more about it when I was 7 and baby bro #2 came home. I remember it very vividly because the poor little guy's penis was so red & raw, and he cried every time he urinated the first few days he was home. It was awful. I kept asking why his penis hurt but his bellybutton didn't, and why did they have to cut him up like that?

Needless to say, when we got pregnant I was relieved to find that if we had a boy DH was adamantly opposed to circumcision (even though he'd been circ'd himself). He's an acupuncturist & alternative medicine practitioner and filled me in on all the medical info, which strengthened my resolve.

After DS was born, I did watch a couple of videos & saw photos of circumcisions, and it literally made me nauseous and very, very angry. Various friends and family members have commented that they think it's "weird" DS isn't circ'd, but we say -- *"No, what's weird -- and cruel -- is routinely performing unnecessary surgery on a newborn infant with no anesthesia."*


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## Trinitty (Jul 15, 2004)

I can't remember when I first learned about it, but, my Mom is an ER nurse, and that's where they do most of them, the parents bring them by most often, leave their baby and then go get a coffee. My mom says it's one of the worst things she's ever seen (keep in mind the things she MUST see) and that she would never ever have it done to a little boy. I only have sisters. I hope my DH comes around and agrees with me before we have kids.


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

I don't remember the first time I heard about it - I guess it was probably in Sunday School. I knew the difference by high school, but I never really thought about what was involved. I started investigating when I started trying to have a baby and decided that I wouldn't have the baby circ'd if it was a boy. Well, it was a boy, and he is intact! Yay! Now, I am RABIDLY anti-circ and I educate people about it whenever I get the opportunity. I have brought at least five people over to the "dark side."  LOL!

On a side note, my DH is cut because MIL thinks boys MUST look like their fathers. My dad and brother are cut because mom thinks it's cleaner and "it just looks better."


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## mommymarliah (Jun 29, 2004)

I learned about it when I was around 8 or 9 years old. We went to go visit my uncle and aunt and their new baby boy (he was maybe 2 or 3 days old). My mom went to change his diaper and I saw his poor little cut penis and said "mom, whats wrong with him?" to which she said something along the lines of oh hes' circed, they have to cut the foreskin of a boys penis so they don't get infections. I can't remember if I just said it or thought it but I remember at the moment thinking (may have said too) "I will never do that to my son"

I can still see it in my mind, watching them vaseline and guaze it and often think t myself "how is that easier than just wiping his penis when you do a change?" all these people who say its cleaner, easier, ect....its such b.s.

It would be many years before I was confronted with this again. I was 17 and in nursing school and they came in the room I was in to do a circ. Asked if I wanted to watch and I said no way. They pulled the curtian and I was having a conversation with my teacher and that childs blood curdling scream was something I never want to hear again. I again swore to myself I would never do that to my children......and thats when I became really passionate about it.

When I found out I was pregnant and carrying a son I told my DH right off, he will nto be circed. He gave me some arguements (DH is circed) but when he read the info he changed his mind. Not that it would have mattered to me, I would not have signed that paper. No way, no how.

My opinion and I tell this to everyone is, if you kids resent you for leaving them intact (ha yeah right) they can always have a circ done later. Not the other way around. Why not err on the safe side?


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## Rhiannon Feimorgan (Aug 26, 2005)

I'm not sure how lod I was, something around 7 or 8. None of the men in my Dads side of the family had been circed. My brother, father, uncle, grandfather ect. They were also fairly comfortable with occasional nakedness in fron of children (changing into bathing suits, getting out of the shower ect. Nothing creepy!) But on a trip to visit my mothers family I saw one of my cousins naked and wondered what had happened to him. It looked "unfinished" My mom told me that they used to do that to all boys, but that my dad had been homebirthed so he had been left alone. She said that now she, and alot of other parents knew better but that some still thought it was nessisary including her family which was one of the reasons she didn't want to live around them.


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## Karah R (Aug 21, 2005)

It was something I never really thought about much as a kid...I just didn't, KWIM? My DH is intact so to me, that was what a penis is supposed to look like. It may sound naive but I truly never realized that it was something most people thought you "had" to do or were "supposed" to do. I never thought like that....it seemed silly to me to cut off something arbitrarily and for no reason-and of course my DH thought it was absolutely unneccessary as well. So there was really no decision or discussion on the matter in our house-we already agreed.

I was an infant teacher at a child care center for nearly five years, and when I left the center we were at a point where all the little boys but one in the infant and toddler classes were uncirc'd. I thought that was great that more and more parents were realizing it was NOT something they had to do, and that everything they'd been conditioned to think about it being cleaner/better to circ were myths and lies!

And a funny story--we had on our birth plan that our son would not be circ'd, but on the first visit with our ped in the hospital after his birth, I don't think he'd had a chance to read all the way through the birth plan and was just going through the standard laundry list of things, mentioning that if he was going to be circ'd that they do it on the last day of the hospital stay--very matter of factly. When I said "We're not having him circ'd"....our ped's demeanor INSTANTLY changed. He pretty much came out and told me what his personal view on it, saying there is NO MEDICAL REASON for it, that it was completely unneccessary, and that it was great that we weren't circ'ing him.







It made me feel great to hear that (not that I NEEDED validation, but it was just nice to hear him say it)! The same thing happened the next day when the on-call ped from the group dropped in to check him over again, and she also mentioned it in passing as far as the normal time table for having babies circ'd. When I mentioned to this different doctor (a new one in the group) the same thing about not having it done, I got an identical response to that of our regular ped, saying all the same stuff about there being no reason for it, only she went a step further and told us we'd literally "made her day" to know they weren't going to have to do that to our son!

I thought it was GREAT to hear this from both peds-I truly wish, though, that these peds would be more outspoken about what they really believe when it comes to circ'ing!


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## eightyferrettoes (May 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Karah R*
I thought it was GREAT to hear this from both peds-I truly wish, though, that these peds would be more outspoken about what they really believe when it comes to circ'ing!

EXACTLY! Our ped was the same way. I mean, he was soooo tickled that we weren't doing it, but beforehand was all "it's completely up to you..."

WTF? Come on out and speak up! Does getting a MD obviate your common sense? Docs could influence so many parents, because a lot of parents will just do whatever the doctor thinks is best.


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## Fi. (May 3, 2005)

Health class. I'll never forget it. I was 10 and in 6th grade. In our textbook were diagrams of flaacid penii and the intact one looked terrible, it was drawn to look disgusting. And I remember going "Ew that looks like a mealworm!"

Fastforward to the onset of sexual activity:

I didn't know that there were people who DIDN'T do it. I had a boyfriend from Austrailia and he was cut so I never thought other countries might not do it. I remember talking about it with my OB when I had my daughter (thought I was having a boy) and of COURSE I wanted the circumcision, I couldn't get the image of the diagram out of my head!

How I found out about intact penises? In Jan of 2004 I was in England and had a date set up with a guy that I was really into. And I was telling a friend how excited I was and she said, "Hey uh you know they don't circumcise right? Are you cool with that?" and I was like !!!!!!!!!!! WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I sent a message to my best friend at the time (who is English and a guy) and I was like "ARE YOU CIRCUMCISED" and he's like "WHAT?! No one is!" And I was like "OH MY GOD [THE GUY IM GOING OUT WITH] TOMORROW ISNT CIRCUMCISED!!!" and then he set me straight. And later I found out that WOW not only does it not look like a mealworm, it's gods gift to women. The intact man I was with is also the reason my son isn't circumcised. When I said I was pro-circ he said something like "Oh so being pro-choice and respecting bodily integrity is only a right you extend to women?" Ouch.


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Fi.*
"Oh so being pro-choice and respecting bodily integrity is only a right you extend to women?" Ouch.

Great line and great point!


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I first heard of it when my baby brother was born. He was born with many problems and was considered too sick to have the surgery done. My mom never got around to doing it, I guess. I remember hearing her complain to my aunts that she had to pull the forekin back and clean it and he cried and squirmed so much.









When I was 19 she had my half-brother, and I saw him the day of his circ. I offered to change him and I had to remove the gauze and put ointment on it. It was *raw* and I'm sure it stung horribly when he peed. It was traumatic for me and I just could not understand putting a tiny baby through that.

Then after dating a few men who were circed I met my dh who was not. I had never really seen it natural before, other than my brother (and I don't remember that). When we talked about having kids we both agreed no circ. No way!


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## Karry (Apr 10, 2002)

I don't really know when I first learned about it, maybe high school? Both my father and my brother are circed as is my dh who was my first.

I clearly remember learning about circ during nursing school, and when I learned that the baby usually didn't have pain relief I started to question the procedure all together. It just seemed wrong to put such a helpless baby in pain for no good reason.









I did a lot of research on circ while pg with my first son. I mainly lurked on circ debate boards and realized those anti-circ people really know their stuff.







I didn't have to twist dh's arm either, he said "sure" when I asked him if it was OK if we don't circ.


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## Treece (Apr 5, 2006)

I can't for the life of me remember when I first learned about it. But I heard of it in church and couldn't have told you what it was or where it occurred just that it happened to men/boys. I don't know if my dad (probably not, impoverished family in the 50's, homebirth and all) or any of my 4 brothers (probably a mixture) are/aren't. But what I can tell you is that sometime during pregnancy I became fully educated, and bawled after seeing the photos.

I never knew what either looked like (and I changed my brother's dipes he's 10 yrs younger). And I'm sure other kids dipes too. I can't even tell you if I ever noticed what the penis looked like then. But here is how I feel now. A cut penis looks "like a peeled banana" (I'm quoting someone from when I was prego with ds, but don't remember where from). I prefer sex with intact lots to play with, ya know? Sadly, so much fun goes away with the foreskin.


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

I vaguely remember my mom giving my newborn brother a bath when I was 5. I asked what was wrong with him. I didn't know the word for penis so I just pointed to his bloody stump. I can't remember mom's response, but I said "I'm glad I'm a girl."

When I was around 11 or so circumcision got mentioned in health class. This would have been around 1987 or so. The text was very anti-circ and said that there was no benefits to it and was only done for religious or cultural reasons.

When I met my dh in high school it didn't even occur to me that he was circed. I thought that's just how penises were.

When the issue of circumcision came up when we were first pregnant I asked my dh's opinion about it. He said we should have it done. I said okay, for now. I figured when we found out the sex I would do some more research into it. I tend to over-research everything. We had a girl so I didn't bother with more research.

Now I definately know that we would leave our sons intact. They can make their own choices.


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## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

I was 26 and pregnant with my son. I only learned of the whole thing of circumcision when I was researching how take care of a boy who wasn't circ for diaper changing. I only decided not to circ because my son's father wasn't circ. I didn't even really question circ or give it any thought even after I had first seen my ex as intact.

It was really odd because I was way into researching of medical things and never once looked up circumcision. My brother and cousins were circ . I even had worked at a daycare in my junior year changed diapers didn't even pay attention to even notice whether they were circ or not. Circumcision wasn't even discussed here it was like no thought to it at all or even with family members. I heard of talk of uncut but didn't know that meant not circ I thought it was another predjudice calling name for different races.
The only talk I really heard of circ was from seinfeld, the nanny, and cheers both for bris .

Like I remember it took me awhile after seeing my ex intact that I had seen one before on a movie which was not X rated and I thought it was circ but a different kind of circ.

Boy am I glad that my son's father was intact otherwise I would proably never questioned it and would have never put any thought into it until I had to face the circ diaper change and believe me I do not like bloody boo boos on the kids so I'm thinking if it wasn't for my son's father i would have circed a boy then regret it at dippy change then I proably would have researched or maybe I would have researched it.

As in saying until I had researched I had no clue what circ really was or what intact guys were.

I do know that after I learned the truth of circ that I am glad that my son never had to go through it.


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