# A little problem with the daycare



## Mylie (Mar 15, 2004)

I am not angry but am truely perplexed as to why it was even brought up..

A little back story..My two year old is allergic to Dairy,Gluten,Soy,apples and we also follow the Feingold Program.Least to say our menu consists of alot of fresh meats,fruits,veggies ect..My grocery budget is extremly low and doesn't allow me to buy all the gluten free goodies on the market..Not that my little one would eat them anyways..She gags on Chocolate and won't even eat anything that looks like bread,pancake ect..

I try to match up the daycare menu but alot of times it is truely impossible.They feed them alot of junk. Like cheetos,koolaid,cookies ect..My baby either cant,wont,is allergic ect..to most of the foods on their menus.So alot of times her food is different..Yesterday for snack they had chocolate cookies and milk for their snack..My girl had sliced strawberries.My girl won't eat chocolate or cookies..She just won't.And I refuse to buy $$ gluten free products that will just end up in the can.

Well the director(who worked in the room that day)made the comment that the other kids wanted strawberries also.It was really hard to see that.

I just made the comment that I was sure that it was hard to see another get fresh fruit and want it over cookies.Sometimes it is hard for my little one to see everyone else get to go to the ice cream truck or have cheese crackers and she can't have that(she does get popcicles on icecream truck day..I bring safe ones from home).That I just explain to my little one that sometimes what someone else is eating isn't what we get to eat and it may look good but we just can't eat that because we want to stay strong and healthy.

I told her that maybe she should explain to the other little ones that there is a reason why she eats different food.Or even maybe put fresh fruit on the menu from time to time.

But she doesn't want me to send in strawberries anymore.









My little girl has eating issues,allergies and not mention that I am on a very strict stingy budget and the only reason she gets most of the fresh fruit she does is because of WIC.And it breaks my heart that they want me to take away one of the only favorite foods she has.I have such a hard time coming up with snacks as it is and I thought sending in fresh fruit was a good thing.

I also keep popcicles in the freezer for when they have birthday parties.When the other kids are gorging on cupcakes,candy and koolaid that the parents bring in my baby gets a popcicle.And she is fine with that.But the teachers get mad because they say that the other kids want a popcicle too.But it is okay for my baby to sit there and eat nothing vs having a treat too.

What do I do? I can't afford to buy all the gluten free mixes(not that she would eat them anyway)nor can I afford to bring in fresh fruit/popcicles for the whole class for when she gets them.I really honestly think that a popcicle is an equivalent to getting a frosted cupcake,candy and Hi-C juice box.

It breaks my heart because I don't want my little girl to ever feel left out of anything that goes on in her class.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I would call a conference and state that you are dealing with a wide range of serious allergies and intollerances and it it absolutely essential for your comfort and your child's safety that the daycare providers can show you that they understand your daughter's issues. Bring it to them as a non-negotiable this-is-what-my-child-may-eat and leave it up to them if they want to change their own gross menu so that the kids don't want your DD's food.

That's what I would do. Mind, I haven't ever dealt with a situation like this but it really makes me mad that they are doing this to you! What if your daugther had to drink some kind of medication during the day? Would the daycare say "well, the other kids want the medicine too so you can't bring it." No. That food IS your daughter's food-allergy treatment.







mama


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## NightOwlwithowlet (Jun 13, 2009)

I'm sorry, but the director is wrong. It is not your problem that the other kids want what your kid has. You are not asking them to provide her snacks or demanding that they restrict the food the other kids eat. Maybe, they should provide healthier snacks for the other kids.

Can you tell my son has food allergies? He's great about it, he's seven now. He understands the food makes him sick and will ask if he can eat certain foods. People feel sorry for him, including DH, but he's really okay with it.

Most of GFCF foos, aside from being expensive, aren't that good.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Do they recieve any money from the goverment (usually it's USDA programs?) If so, they have to allow you to make food exceptions for her (I forget what the program is called.)

Also, this daycare doesn't seem food allergy friendly. Can you find another one?


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## 4Blessings (Feb 27, 2008)

Time to educate your daycare provider about food allergies.

Have you checked out FAAN's resources for daycare and schools? http://foodallergy.org/school.html#

There is no reason why you should not be allowed to continue to provide SAFE and healthy food for your child.

I would also recommend working with your allergist who could provide a letter to the center explaining why your child needs a specific diet.


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## amma_mama (May 20, 2008)

Your daycare is banning you from bringing in healthy foods for your daughter because other kids would prefer it over the junk that they call food? I agree with the PP, tell that it is non-negotiable that your DD eat foods that are, as described above, her "medicine". Heaven forbid if they invested in fresh fruit and popsicles for a treat! I would never send my DD to a place that did not offer fresh fruit each day - it is a basic part of a healthy diet, but I guess that money is better spent on over-priced ice cream from the truck...very sad! Frankly, I would be looking for another provider for your DD if and when that is an option.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

The other thing I'd want to watch out for is the other kids pressuring your dd to share the food. Even if the teachers step in, it could make it hard for your dd to enjoy her meal.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I wouldn't agree to that.

It isn't at all reasonable to expect your dd to eat nothing.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Unbelieveable. A conference is definitely needed. Call them out on this nonsense now. I would be very clear in stating that you want to make sure that you understand the director's request. That she wants to ban your bringing fresh strawberries and please ask her just WHAT she suggests you bring instead. I can't believe what some of these daycares feed these kids!


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

that sucks mama. i just started work at a daycare, and ds is allergic to dairy, so i have to bring his food.... hes 2. he wants what the other kids have, and they want what he has. its part of being a kid, and the caregivers just need to deal with it. telling you not to bring something in because the other kids want it is pointless. theyre going to want whatever she has different, just like im sure she might want some of their stuff too.

what are you supposed to do, send her with nothing to eat?


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## pauletoy (Aug 26, 2007)

My dd was in daycare for a little bit several years ago. She had some feeding issues, medical issues. I would send her bananas and they would feed them to the entire class. It irritated me too.


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## RachelAllyse (Feb 18, 2008)

I work in a daycare, and we have a cook & a kitchen that serves all meals & snacks for this exact reason. Many children in our daycare have all sorts of allergies & food restrictions due to religion or because they are vegetarian/vegan, and we are able to accommodate these things, no problem, while providing nutritious food (that tastes good) for the kids.

Still, many of the younger children bring food from home, especially the babies who are just starting to eat solids, because the parents just want to be sure about what their child is eating. This is okay too.

Stick to your guns. That is not fair for your child to not be able to eat nutritious food that is good for her, just because a child who is eating chocolate cookies might get jealous? The director should be understanding that your little one has health issues that prevent her from eating many snacks that other children consume. If she is getting her feathers ruffled over some strawberries, that is ridiculous.

There are plenty of nice daycares out there who would be more than willing to accommodate your daughter's needs. Someone should remind the director of that.


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

I definitely agree with everyone who says that's ridiculous and your child's special diet needs need to be respected and accomodated - *especially* since you're providing the food.

But even if your daughter didn't have food allergies, it's ridiculous that the daycare Director would ask you NOT to send something specific because the other kids want it. I could see MAYBE if you were the one sending cheetos and kool aid and the school wanted a healthier diet for all kids, I could kinda see them making a request of you, but even in that switcharound situation they have no right to TELL you not to send something.

Stick to your guns, and I really like the person above who said you should have a conference with the Director and maybe whoever is above them (or the board or whoever the Director reports to) to "clarify" the request and to also be clear that it's unreasonable to ask you to stop sending healthy, diet appropriate foods for your child who already has a very restricted diet.

Let us know what happens!


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## noobmom (Jan 19, 2008)

Wow, I'm sorry. What a heartless director. I would ask her straight up what she expects you to send with your child. She clearly has no idea how hard it is to find food that your DD can and will eat. If they insist that all the kids should be offered the same foods, tell her you can provide a list of acceptable foods that the daycare can purchase.

I'd be tempted to find a new daycare, but I know how hard it is to find one to fit your needs, not to mention the difficulty for your child to adjust. But this one just doesn't sound very caring.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

You keep referring to her as a baby. So, I am assuming this is a toddler class.

SO, sure, toddlers are going to want what they see if it's not in front of them. It's just how they are. The director understands that, and I am confident that she can handle that problem. She's being a bit cranky apparently.

Hopefully, she was just in a bad mood and taking it out on you. Honestly... I've worked in daycare centers before, and the directors generally don't like having to go into the classrooms to work. Maybe that's why she was grumpy.

I wouldn't change anything if I were you. Re-explain to the teachers that you are doing your best, and while you understand how hard it is for babies to see other babies with different food, it's important for your baby. (they know this already) Then tell them how much you appreciate knowing that your daughter is safe with them. (everybody likes to be appreciated)

If you get ANY more complaints, I'd actually look for a new daycare. (and I never say that) These daycares need clients. If you leave because of this issue, they will learn to take these things more seriously.

Most centers do take food issues more seriously. Sure, they make mistakes, but they really want your child to be healthy and safe. If you are in a center that won't put your child's health as a priority, maybe they aren't the right place for you right now.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amma_mama* 
I would never send my DD to a place that did not offer fresh fruit each day - it is a basic part of a healthy diet,

While that's a nice idea, it isn't feasible in all areas. There are no preschools in our area that include fresh fruit daily, and we looked. We consider all price ranges, and even the most expensive "we begin teaching French at age 3" private school doesn't have that option. We live in a state with very poor health stats, and that's why. A standard snack at DS's preschool is crackers, peanut butter, and milk, and that's the best choice around here.

As for the OP, I wouldn't agree not to bring in strawberries. You can't have them dictating what your daughter is eating when she has allergies. I really think they should seriously consider discussing your daughter's food allergies. I think children are far more responsive when they know what's going on. As it stands, all of the other children see someone with something different and want it. They should get to know why she's getting something different.


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## crl (May 9, 2004)

That's just absurd! DS is allergic to milk, strawberries, mango and apple. So, yeah, he ate different food than the other kids in preschool. And all of his schools (we moved, more than once) accomodated this with no problems or complaints! The only concerns preschools ever expressed to us were (1) no nuts because of other kids' allergies and (2) making sure DS didn't get left out when there were treats--solved by me providing substitutes.

I would be furious that your daughter's caregivers think she should be deprived of the foods she can eat just because the other kids then want them too. In what alternate universe is that fair?

I think it would be entirely appropriate to insist that your daughter be allowed to have the safe food you send without restrictions (except for the need to accomodate other food allergies--like no nuts rules).

Catherine


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## Caneel (Jun 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RachelAllyse* 
*I work in a daycare, and we have a cook & a kitchen that serves all meals & snacks for this exact reason. Many children in our daycare have all sorts of allergies & food restrictions due to religion or because they are vegetarian/vegan, and we are able to accommodate these things, no problem, while providing nutritious food (that tastes good) for the kids.

Still, many of the younger children bring food from home, especially the babies who are just starting to eat solids, because the parents just want to be sure about what their child is eating. This is okay too.*

Stick to your guns. That is not fair for your child to not be able to eat nutritious food that is good for her, just because a child who is eating chocolate cookies might get jealous? The director should be understanding that your little one has health issues that prevent her from eating many snacks that other children consume. If she is getting her feathers ruffled over some strawberries, that is ridiculous.

There are plenty of nice daycares out there who would be more than willing to accommodate your daughter's needs. Someone should remind the director of that.

The above bold also describes DS's daycare/preschool.

I do know they had the reverse problem, parents sending junk because their children didn't want to eat the good stuff. This caused a big issue and now no outside food is allowed unless it is not feasible for the center to provide it AND it is required per doctor's orders. The director said she has yet to have this occur.


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## Carma (Feb 10, 2006)

I am mad at the daycare for you! I think I would find a different daycare. I also send in all the food for our 2 and 4 year old, because I don't like the school menu, we do not have allergies. In your case the director is soooo wrong








In our daycare the small kids with allergies sit in separate highchairs, so they cannot share food with others. Not sure how they do it at the older ages (3-5).

Carma


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## Mylie (Mar 15, 2004)

My little girl is in the two/three year old class.She just just turned 2 last month.

I think I solved the problem myself today..I had the opprotunity to talk with the children myself.I was in there during lunch and my little one had Chicken breast chunks and French Fries for her lunch.They were eating roast and fingerling potatoes and carrots.One little girl said she wanted fries too..So I sat down and said I know you do but today you get to eat roast and potatos.I know that sometimes L brings in different food that you would like to eat too but if she ate the food you guys get to eat she would get a bad bellyache and she would be sick.That is because she is allergic to alot of foods.One little one pipes up and says..L get a bellyache and cry? I said yes baby she would .So we have to be really careful what she eats so she won't cry anymore.They said okay.

The teacher piped up when the little girl first asked for the fries..She said see this is the problem we have been having..I told her I would handle it and I did..

I told the teachers that the children responded with a lot of concern and empathy for my little girl..They didn't want her to get bellyaches and to cry or be sick.I told them that maybe the next time the scenario came up they could take it from there..That these children could understand even though they were very young..But you had to present it to them with words they could understand and empathize with.I told them that I would be sending my little one her own food in every day and while I would always try to match the menu alot of times it would truely be impossible..I am sorry if it upset them but I would not put her health in jeapardy because they didn't want to deal with the situation itself.

So we will see what will happen from here..I hope that the children continue to empathize with my little girl.But being little children they forget and will probably ask for her food again..I just hope the workers of the room handle it the way they should.


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## LiamnEmma (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:

But she doesn't want me to send in strawberries anymore.
And so what if she does? You are paying them, not the other way around. I think, if I were in your place (and I sent two kids through daycare, birth to five), I might ride this one out a little bit and see how it plays out. She may have just made a throw away comment. If she continues to make them then I could see calling a conference and suggesting that they choose healthier menu items in general if they want to see all the children eating the same thing. But frankly, you are costing them less and they are enjoying the cost benefit of not having to feed your child and thus, they have no room to complain.

Also, gently suggesting, was she maybe just throwing out the comment in a friendly way as a jibe at herself? People do that sometimes but we feel too defensive to hear it that way. Just a little food for thought.

eta; okay, I see you posted just above me--I tend to post first, read later...so they're being ignorant. You handled it well.


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

That's great that you were able to model a really productive response to other kids wanting her food. It's unfortunate you even had to do that - I can't believe the teachers in that room couldn't figure that out for themselves!

If it continues to be an issue - because don't 2-3 yr olds have the memories of goldfish on some things? I'm guessing next time your DD brings in something yummy the "I want that!" is gonna start all over again - if it continues to be an issue I would simply say to them "What solution do you have? Because not feeding my child a balanced good diet is simply not an option, and feeding her things that will make her sick so that you don't have to manage normal 2-3 yr old behavior is also not an option. So what do you propose as a solution?"

The idea that your child should go without when she's got such a restricted diet already is really crazy, and hopefully you've already solved the problem, but I worry you're gonna keep facing this for awhile longer.


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## TCMoulton (Oct 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mylie* 
I was in there during lunch and my little one had Chicken breast chunks and French Fries for her lunch.They were eating roast and fingerling potatoes and carrots.One little girl said she wanted fries too..

I can understand a little child wanting french fries if she saw another child eating them, french fries are much more fun looking than plain old potatoes! I have a question though - you mentioned that the other children were eating fingerling potatoes with lunch that day. I am assuming that your daughter is able to eat potatoes since she had french fries - if that assumption is correct then why not let her eat the fingerling potatoes that the class is having and send the rest of her meal to replace the portions she cannot eat. While that would certainly not be possible every day it might ease the problems a bit at mealtime!


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

I think your update in post 20 is great. Well done!









I also wonder why your dd didn't have roast/potato/carrot with the other kids. Does she just bring her own food every day so you know it is safe? Is there a schedule of what is served when that they could give you?

And I hear you on the dc won't eat the gluten-free versions. Little boy at our school often chooses not to have anything when I offer him a gluten-free snack that his mom has left there for him.

At our small private school, we serve organic fruit plus something else (hummus and whole wheat pita bread, or whole wheat crackers and a slice of colby-jack for example) for snack every day. We also have a diabetic child and one who is just now testing to see if he can again have gluten, egg, dairy, etc. plus a couple who are just notoriously picky eaters. Over the years I have dispensed everything from insulin to prescribed daily medications. If your daycare won't work with you on this, I'd look for another. Because there are places that will work with you for the health and safety of your child.


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## purplepaperclip (May 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TCMoulton* 
I can understand a little child wanting french fries if she saw another child eating them, french fries are much more fun looking than plain old potatoes! I have a question though - you mentioned that the other children were eating fingerling potatoes with lunch that day. I am assuming that your daughter is able to eat potatoes since she had french fries - if that assumption is correct then why not let her eat the fingerling potatoes that the class is having and send the rest of her meal to replace the portions she cannot eat. While that would certainly not be possible every day it might ease the problems a bit at mealtime!

I don't know about the OP, but in my severely allegic dd's world, the risk of a reaction from careless cross contamination is WAY too high for me to trust other people's food prepping skills. The last time I did that we ended up with a reaction to something (I still don't know to what).


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## NYCVeg (Jan 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suebee79* 
I don't know about the OP, but in my severely allegic dd's world, the risk of a reaction from careless cross contamination is WAY too high for me to trust other people's food prepping skills. The last time I did that we ended up with a reaction to something (I still don't know to what).

Ditto to that. Dd has VERY extensive allergies, and some of them life-threatening. Even if a daycare said they could prepare her food (and given the extent of her food allergies, I doubt it would be possible), I would never allow it. All it takes is one moment of forgetting that you touched x or y and my dd could end up in the hospital.


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## ASusan (Jun 6, 2006)

Great way to handle the situation, OP.

DS food allergies aren't that extensive and we do not allow the daycare to feed him anything. We provide all his food. It's just too easy for someone to forget or just not know. (The nutritionist on staff wanted to give him chicken - that was colored with coloring that DS is allergic to. She had no idea it was more than chicken.)

We make no attempt to give him similar foods to the ones the other children eat. We just give him left overs from the night before. So far, so good.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mylie* 

But she doesn't want me to send in strawberries anymore.










Oh what a load of $%^&*#@ I'd be furious.

Quote:

The teacher piped up when the little girl first asked for the fries..She said see this is the problem we have been having..I told her I would handle it and I did..
This is a daycare, they are paid to take care of children, and they can't handle a situation like this? Sheesh! Oh well, it sounds like you handled it well.


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## AllisonR (May 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LROM* 
- if it continues to be an issue I would simply say to them "What solution do you have? Because not feeding my child a balanced good diet is simply not an option, and feeding her things that will make her sick so that you don't have to manage normal 2-3 yr old behavior is also not an option. So what do you propose as a solution?".

ITA! OP, I liked the way you handled it with the other kids, and hope the teachers will follow your lead when the conversation appears again, which it will.

Consider writing a letter. Short story, my DD started in daycare and over time there were a bunch of small little jabs from some of the care providers. "maybe you should cut down on breast feeding", "If you don't give her a bottle we can't calm her", "if you don't let her have a pacifier then we can't get her to sleep"... I would deal with the comments as they came, but they kept comming. It was frustrating. So finally I wrote a letter to the manager, saying basically "I am tired of the constant side comments and hints. The health dept. recommends breastfeeding for 2 years, my dd is 10 months. My DD has never had a bottle and she can drink from a cup, so why should I introduce one at 10 months? She never had a pacifier either, so why should I start her on one?" I gave it to the director, and then came in 2 days later to speak with her about it. She saw my point of view, had spoken to the other providers about their comments and made it clear that this would stop. And it did. I never had another smart-*ssed comment. And actually I think many of them, having seen my opinions on paper, actually respected me, and my parenting, more. So if I were you op, I'd try to diffuse this by talking first. But if it doesn't get you anywhere, consider a letter.


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## Mylie (Mar 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TCMoulton* 
I can understand a little child wanting french fries if she saw another child eating them, french fries are much more fun looking than plain old potatoes! I have a question though - you mentioned that the other children were eating fingerling potatoes with lunch that day. I am assuming that your daughter is able to eat potatoes since she had french fries - if that assumption is correct then why not let her eat the fingerling potatoes that the class is having and send the rest of her meal to replace the portions she cannot eat. While that would certainly not be possible every day it might ease the problems a bit at mealtime!

Because those fingerling potatoes were drenched in oils(soy oil) and butter(dairy) to which she is allergic too..And the center's menu did state they were supposed to have fries.. But they change their minds all the time and neglect to tell me that they have changed lunch once again.The foods that they provide are filled with crap..When I say roast I don't mean a roast we would buy from the market to put in with real potatoes and carrots..I mean they buy processed crap filled with artificials and fake potatoes with loaded with soy and dairy she can't eat.Even the carrots are drenched in oils and whatever kind of butter they serve(save alot kind..That is where they do their shopping)

I send in everything whether it is matched or not..There food 99% of the time is not safe and I just don't want to have to have reactions all the time.

I do my best in this situation but my child has to eat..And they are not willing to provide any safe foods for her at all.Even when they buy fruit they cover it in nutrisweet.They never ask or even offer to keep some out for my child..It is always..Oh I forget about her allergies..

And I can't move her..It is the best in town and I work there.At least I can moniter the food situation better than I could by sending her somewhere else..And I couldn't afford fullprice daycare anyways.I get partime rate at this one because I work there.

All around I never ask them to provide her food.I just ask them to inform me when changes are made or a party is planned..I don't think it is too much to ask..But to them I am asking the world..

Sucks..Always wished I could be a stay at home mom but it was never in the cards for me..


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## journeymom (Apr 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mylie* 
The teacher piped up when the little girl first asked for the fries..She said see this is the problem we have been having..I told her I would handle it and I did..

Holy cow. You've got to be kidding. Are these 'teachers' absolute beginners? Are they teenagers with no experience with children?? I'm glad the opportunity to handle it presented itself, but seriously, you shouldn't have had to do that. Utterly bizarre.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I think their messed up attitude is because you're an employee and because you've tried to be accomodating. I say, start just sending in leftovers and if need be have lunch with your dd by yourselves. Y'know if the teachers can't handle just parroting your fab explanation.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

And really, it'd probably be easier for the kids to handle your dd eating completely different food than food that's not quite the same. And since they got it when you said it would make her sick, there's definitely no problem here except incompetent staff.


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## New_Natural_Mom (Dec 21, 2007)

Just wanted to chime in - we had to get a note from DS's doctor saying that he was only to eat food I bring. It sucks to see all the other kids eating sugary garbage (their menu is BAD!) while DS eats his own thing. It doesn't seem to bother him though. He only gets healthy stuff at home (and no allergies knock on wood) but as he gets older it might be an issue. I don't even try to match what they are eating. It is all just junk! And I don't have the luxury to get specific things to match the daycare. We eat what we eat. Stay strong!


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elmh23* 
Do they recieve any money from the goverment (usually it's USDA programs?) If so, they have to allow you to make food exceptions for her (I forget what the program is called.)

Also, this daycare doesn't seem food allergy friendly. Can you find another one?


You are talking about CACFP (Child and Adult Care Food Program) and there's no way that child care center is on it because of the food they are serving. CACFP requires a really balanced diet.

My state would never allow a licenced child care program (CACFP or not) serve junk like that. If they are serving food it must meet CACFP guidelines and if parents provide it, they must meet similar guidelines. Part day programs aren't required to follow those regs but since the OP called the program a "daycare" and serves lunch, it likely isn't half day.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

OP, I bet they are giving you a hard time because you work there, not because of the actual food that you are bringing.


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## Mylie (Mar 15, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Polliwog* 
You are talking about CACFP (Child and Adult Care Food Program) and there's no way that child care center is on it because of the food they are serving. CACFP requires a really balanced diet.

My state would never allow a licenced child care program (CACFP or not) serve junk like that. If they are serving food it must meet CACFP guidelines and if parents provide it, they must meet similar guidelines. Part day programs aren't required to follow those regs but since the OP called the program a "daycare" and serves lunch, it likely isn't half day.


You are right Polliwog....This center is not on the Food Program..The director says it is too much work and she isn't going to do all that paperwork.Sure would cut out alot of junk though(like koolaid,cheetos that kind of thing.)but the parents there don't care.They really don't mind that their child is being served Koolaid and cheetos for snack.









I am sending Blueberries and gluten free crackers on Monday for her snack..Wonder if that will send them into a tizzy.They had no menu to give me and had no clue what they were serving on Monday for breakfast,lunch or snack so I am going to go ahead and bring in whatever we eat this weekend.

I have been trying to find another job but there just isn't anything around this area.


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

I know it's tricky since you work there, but for now are you comfortable standing very strong and clear that you'll keep bringing in the foods that your child can eat and that it shouldn't be unmanageable for CHILDCARE WORKERS to manage the envy of a group of 3 yr olds??? Especially given your child's diet restrictions. She deserves to feel good about what she eats just like everyone else does.

Also, not to sound paranoid, but I'd make sure my 3 yr old knew to tell me if anyone said anything to them about this, like trying to make the child feel bad. I hate to say it, but the way the staff at this daycare are acting, I'd be worried about them actually stirring the pot on this issue and maybe trying to make the child feel bad about it.

Don't want to sound paranoid, I'm just saying please make sure your kid is fine and not feeling strange or bad at all about this whole issue.


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## tinawoman (Feb 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mylie* 
And I can't move her..It is the best in town and I work there.At least I can moniter the food situation better than I could by sending her somewhere else..And I couldn't afford fullprice daycare anyways.I get partime rate at this one because I work there.

if this is the best in town, that seriouslysucks! i worked at a program that was sort of like this at one point...and i seriously hated it.

what position do you have there? just curious if you're a teacher or admin or what. i'm guessing whatever you make there is helping to make up for having to pay for child care as well. at least you're there with her. that's comforting.

i don't know your whole situation but that just brings me back to that crappy daycare i used to work at that made me so very miserable that i had to find something else. luckily, i did. found a FABULOUS nonprofit preschool and the rest is history. i wasn't a mom yet, but if i had to have childcare now (i don't, i'm home...and we barely make ends meet but its working for us.) i would only trust someplace like the high quality program i worked at for 2 years after that crappy institutionalized setting.

anyway...stories like this just make me want so very bad to come up with this fabulous idea to make much-needed money for my family by starting a business where i can help other mamas by offering them some sort of opportunity (a real opportunity, not like all the scams and direct sales businesses out there) so they can also be home with their kiddos.

i'm going to come up with something that works like that at some point, i am! darn it!







posts like this just take me back to that dream of mine.







sorry i don't have it figured out yet, though.


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## Barefoot~Baker (Dec 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *journeymom* 
Holy cow. You've got to be kidding. Are these 'teachers' absolute beginners? Are they teenagers with no experience with children?? I'm glad the opportunity to handle it presented itself, but seriously, you shouldn't have had to do that. Utterly bizarre.











I don't see why these ppl couldn't think of doing this either. Well I suppose we don't all think alike, everyone's different, etc, but come on









Mylie, I'm so glad that you handled the situation, good for you


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## ebethmom (Jan 29, 2002)

I think you handled the situation with the children well. If the director of the program can't provide food that is safe for your child, you should be able to send her with any food that you choose.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

If they are treating the child of a staff member like that, I hate to think how they are treating the other kids.

And what if they decide not to give your child your food? She's too young to be able to defend herself, or to tell you properly.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NightOwlwithowlet* 
I'm sorry, but the director is wrong. It is not your problem that the other kids want what your kid has. You are not asking them to provide her snacks or demanding that they restrict the food the other kids eat. Maybe, they should provide healthier snacks for the other kids.

This. The director needs to learn to handle the situation better. How much experience does she have?

As for what to do - you keep doing what you are doing. Send the food to daycare that you want your daughter to eat. The director and teachers will have to learn to deal with it that some kids can't eat the same as everyone else.

There was a girl in my DD's kindergarten class who was rewarded with crackers for doing her work (could be austism or aspbergers, but it's not my business) and the kids just learned that X worked for crackers and no one else got them. It wasn't that big a deal. They can learn on pre-school that some kids have different food, different lunchboxes, different toys and celebrate different holidays. It's OK, normal and natural to want what someone else has, but the preschool should be able to deal with that in a more constructive way than saying NO ONE gets strawberries if you can't bring them for the class. Really today it's strawberries, but tomorrow it will be something else that you send.

Is there some literature or advice you might find for them in running a day care and how to deal with these issues? It's really something they need to learn.


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## thefreckledmama (Jun 1, 2007)

Wow. I'm surprised the director would take the position she is. I would think having the parent provide and send the appropriate foods for a child with such allergies, instead of having to provide them through the daycare would be the ideal situation for both parties.

OP, you handled it wonderfully, and it's a shame that the daycare workers themselves weren't able to handle it nearly as well. Ever thought of going to work in a daycare?


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## Bellamaphone (Oct 4, 2008)

I am a cook/nutrition person for an inner city daycare in our city.

We currently have 3 vegetarian (2 are only vegetarian because we do not have organic/hormone free meat and eat meat on the rare occasion we do)
One vegan
Two pork aversions due to religion
One tomato allergy
One nut allergy
and one sugar avoidance.

I accommodate ALL of them for all meals.

Now having said that I am aware that that is quite rare and have been hailed as being fabulous...









I am vegan and my daughter is a vegetarian who i feed organic dairy.

I have never noticed any of the children causing a fuss due to some of the children having different food. And if they do the Child Care workers would explain it to them in a way that was understandable and the issue would be dropped.

Is it possible for you to find a day care that is more suited to your needs?


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## Barefoot~Baker (Dec 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bellamaphone* 
I am a cook/nutrition person for an inner city daycare in our city.

We currently have 3 vegetarian (2 are only vegetarian because we do not have organic/hormone free meat and eat meat on the rare occasion we do)
One vegan
Two pork aversions due to religion
One tomato allergy
One nut allergy
and one sugar avoidance.

I accommodate ALL of them for all meals.

Now having said that I am aware that that is quite rare and have been hailed as being fabulous...









I am vegan and my daughter is a vegetarian who i feed organic dairy.

I have never noticed any of the children causing a fuss due to some of the children having different food. And if they do the Child Care workers would explain it to them in a way that was understandable and the issue would be dropped.

Is it possible for you to find a day care that is more suited to your needs?











That's awesome!


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## Mylie (Mar 15, 2004)

Bellamaphone said:


> I am a cook/nutrition person for an inner city daycare in our city.
> 
> We currently have 3 vegetarian (2 are only vegetarian because we do not have organic/hormone free meat and eat meat on the rare occasion we do)
> One vegan
> ...


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

But even if your daughter didn't have food allergies, it's ridiculous that the daycare Director would ask you NOT to send something specific because the other kids want it.
As a former childcare provider, I have to say that I don't think it's ridiculous at all. I didn't let parents send food from home unless they sent enough for everyone. It's much easier on a provider to feed everyone the same thing and avoid the kids complaining about it. Granted, I fed them healthier food though.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
As a former childcare provider, I have to say that I don't think it's ridiculous at all. I didn't let parents send food from home unless they sent enough for everyone. It's much easier on a provider to feed everyone the same thing and avoid the kids complaining about it. Granted, I fed them healthier food though.

Your prerogative if the food you're serving won't hurt the child in question.


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Your prerogative if the food you're serving won't hurt the child in question.

yeah that.

i have to send all of my sons food because they wont accomidate his dairy allergy. id be beyond ticked if they tried to tell me what i could and couldnt send (with in reason of course. i would never expect them to let me send ice cream and cookies or something everyday). especially something like strawberries


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