# Ear Piercing an Infant - Need advise/ info



## Ubelle (Nov 3, 2006)

My husband asked me this, just this morning.

"If we have a girl, will we pierce her ears as a baby?"









Wonderful just when I think we've ironed all the issues out, here's a new one. I had never even considered this. I guess since we would like to have a boy it just never crossed our minds. The idea was brought up at DH's work.

At our ultrasound 2 1/2 weeks ago we weren't able to determine gender. But so far had made most the major decisions:
Cloth - Yes







- Yes
Cosleeping - Not sure, yes to start and take it as it goes

After finding out we would have a suprise at the birth, I wanted us to be sure on intact/vs Circ. So we debated for days.

Intact - Yes

So I guess I am torn on whether to peirce a little girls ears. I have heard that the pain would be minimial and they would forget it, that it's easier if mom just keeps the ears clean while they heal, and that the holes heal differently so that they won't close up later.

I don''t know the validity of any of the above and the pain one seems awfully like the comments on Circing as an infant. Also piercing isn't something that is nessasary it is very much cosmetic.

But I had my ears pierced at 10, 12 and again at 22 (the last by a pro with a needle) the first two times were with the gun and I had problems with infections and the holes closing all the time. I still need to wear earing almost all the time even to sleep or I risk having a very difficult time putting earing in or the holes will close up.

If I pierced my daugters ears to prevent future problems for her, would I be hippocritical, since I would keeping a son intact and not worry about what may happen in the future?

Thanks


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## BamBam'sMom (Jun 4, 2005)

I wouldn't pierce an infant's ears. I don't think you can automatically assume that a girl will want earrings. I didn't until I was 14. I also think it puts a lot of value on a girl's appearance at a very young age.


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## Cate (Oct 2, 2005)

What if dd doesn't want pierced ears? Not everyone does. I personally feel that it should be up to the person who wears the ears if they should be pierced or not.


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## numom499 (Jun 12, 2005)

Please don't pierce your daughters ears. It is HER body you are altering. There is no reason to have pierced ears. Yes, I think it is hypocritical to be anti circ but pro piercing. You sound like a thoughtful mom, good luck!


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

I would never, ever pierce my dd's ears. It is HER body and HER decision. Why do I have the right to perform medically unnecessary body modification on someone else's body without her permission?!


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## usolyfan (Jul 2, 2006)

IMO it needs to be her decision when she is older. I hate seeing babies with pierced ears.


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## saraann (Dec 1, 2006)

I would wait till she's older, that way it can be her decision and if she wants to get it done, it will be really fun and exciting for her to go and get it done. I got my ears pierced at age 10 and it was so exciting for me.


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## frog (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *numom499* 
Please don't pierce your daughters ears. It is HER body you are altering. There is no reason to have pierced ears. Yes, I think it is hypocritical to be anti circ but pro piercing. You sound like a thoughtful mom, good luck!


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

: I agree with the other mamas that you should not pierce her ears. Also, it is not true at all that it is easier to take care of when they are infants. If you had problems when you were older, it is probably because a gun was used to pierce your ears the first 2 times, instead of a needle at a professional piercing place. You should never use a gun to pierce ears-only get it done by a certified professional who uses a needle. Also, I have many friends who had their ears pierced as infants and as they grew and got older, the hole became uneven and now the holes are down at the edge of the earlobes. Basically, just because you pierce the ears in the proper place as an infant, doesn't mean it will stay that way as she gets older. Does that make sense? So your daughter could end up with holes that are too close to the bottom of her lobe and might tear when she is older. It is better to wait til she is much older and her ears are about the size they will stay as an adult. The other mamas touched on the ethical issues already, so that is my point of view from just my experience of seeing friends' ears pierced as babies.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

No:

It's her body to alter as she wishes
ears grow - holes done as an infant are often uneven later

-Angela


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## Qestia (Sep 26, 2005)

My mom pretty much made me get my ears pierced when I was nine, I didn't want it done, and I still don't really want it. So no, let her make her own decision.


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## 2happymamas (May 11, 2005)

I personally would not do it. Like the others have said, how do you know she wants them pierced? My opinion....not my body, not my choice.

If I had a daughter, I would let her make the decision around the age of 7 or 8. I would also look into a professional piercer who uses a needle instead of a gun.


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## Ubelle (Nov 3, 2006)

Thank you mama's

I really need to be sure I wasn't crazy on the ethical front

And info like gemelos and alegna gave like that the ears will still grow is exactly what I need. More info to explain my pov to my husband.

Like I said in the OP, the circ debates was long, it actually started long before the U/S happened, because while I was anti circ, my husband was not. He has essentially gotten to the point where he understand that it's not medically nessasary but he doesn't care one way or the other now. So I got my way but it took parading *a lot* of medical info/ reasons why we shouldn't. The ethical discussion never really played a part though for him.

So I would love more info or any website that would show reasons not too. He is definitly leaning towards it and doesn't see a problem. I can not simple put my foot down either and tell him that we won't do it, we are both stubborn and he would imediatly take the opposite side.

Thank you for your help.


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## SharonAnne (Jul 12, 2004)

I recently overheard a discusson about this. Here's my favorite quote from the conversation.

"Well, for the first one, she was fine, but then when they started to get ready to do the second one, she started screaming and wiggling around." I believe the next line was something about her being held down. Or strapped in. Or something equally horrifying.

I wouldn't alter my son's penis. I won't alter my daughter's ears.


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## ~MoonGypsy~ (Aug 21, 2006)

I agree that I would wait and let her decide, but I don't feel it's hypocritical of you to be anticirc and pierce her ears, IMO.










FTR - My ears were pierced at about 2. I've never had issues with them closing or they are not uneven, almost 22 years later.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

Go to the no circ board here, it is FULL of info that will sway your husband, complete with a link to a clip of a circ, I don't know how anyone can circ after watching it.


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## HannahsMomma (Oct 2, 2006)

I wouldn't do it. I think it should be her decision. That's what I tell people when they ask why I haven't pierced my dds ears. I also agree with a pps point that said it puts a lot of value on a girls appearance at a very young age. I thought about this the other day...I hate wearing earings to bed because the backs of the earings prick me. When babies have earings they don't usually get taken out at night. That must be so irritating !







:
And I think a baby with earings looks so silly


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I would not put my infant through unnecessary pain and possible infection in order for her to look a small degree cuter to certain people. I don't think the argument of her ears closing up more quickly if done later in life is even true, but even if it was, I don't think that's a valid argument in favor of piercing, because she might not even ever WANT her ears pierced.

If my daughter asks for pierced ears once she is old enough for me to explain in detail to her about the pain, possible infection, possible accidents (pulled-out earrings, etc.), and care that will go into maintaining them, and she still wants them, she can have them. Otherwise, my daughter's ears will stay whole.

I also think babies with earrings look a little silly -- kind of like a 3-year-old with a face full of make-up.


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## Rigama (Oct 18, 2005)

My ears were pierced as an infant, and I wouldn't have pierced a daughter's ears. Personally, I feel like it's her decision since it's her body. And frankly, I look at old pictures of me in 2nd grade with dangling earrings, and I just feel sad for that little girl who was conditioned to believe imposed standards of feminine beauty. For the record, I stopped wearing earrings when I was in Jr. high...in the 80's, and have only very rarely put them in since. My ears don't close, so I'm lucky that way, I guess. I have a cousin, though, who also got her ears pierced as an infant (family ritual, I suppose) and she has terrible trouble with her ears closing and getting infected all the time. And she's the exact opposite...she is always wearing earrings and hates the trouble they give her. I, on the other hand, could do without the holes in my ears.


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## JustJamie (Apr 24, 2006)

Don't pierce her ears. Just as circumcision is permanently altering your son without his consent, piercing ears is permanently altering your daughter without her consent.

If your DH protests, saying he thinks it's "cute" and "feminine", do a counter-offer. "I don't want to pierce her ears, but you know, I think a labret piercing would be just ADORABLE on her! Don't you think? Or maybe a tiny stud in her nose?"


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## Snowdrift (Oct 15, 2005)

Ita with posters who would not do it; I want my DD to make that decision herself and if she decides to do to have the fun of going and doing it herself.

I also wanted to add that peircing as an infant is not the only way to get holes that don't close. I think it's genetics more than anything else.

I have holes that were done with a needle when I was 22 and although I wear earrings maybe 2-3 times a year they do not close up. They were originally 14g holes, so maybe that is why they haven't closed







: Or maybe it's just innate; I scar badly as a rule and don't heal expecially well--maybe that is what caused it. The two gun-peircings I got in one ear closed up within a week of taking the earrings out wen I got tired of constant infections. But certainly it is possible to have permanent holes without doing it to a baby. I think it's just luck though, mostly.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Nope. She needs to lust after them and promise to take care of them when she's older.


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

I'd vote for don't do it. My mother had my ears pierced when I was a baby. Aside from the infections, it went well.  Except for the fact that I'm against body alteration. I'd never get a tattoo, and I don't do piercings. So when I was a pre-teen, and made this decision to keep my body the way it came, I took my earrings out.

The holes never grew over.

As an adult, I can still put earrings in. It's not the end of the world, but it really does bother me that my ears were pierced without my permission. I never would have chosen to do it, if I had been given a choice at any point in my childhood.

Let your daughter decide.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

there are too many bad things that could happen, like the holes gettiing infected or she tears one out when she's teething or has an ear infection. My mom didn't let me get my ears pierced until I was about 7 or 8, and she doesn't even have her own ears pierced. I just thought of something.....


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## Ubelle (Nov 3, 2006)

I just thought I would point out that I don't think either of us thinks this is cute and we aren't all about how our daughter will look and how she should act feminin. We've purchased a toy tractor for the child (with help) no matter the gender.

I certianly don't - I would have never considered it.

I honestly think my husband is trying to spare her any pain he can.

Neither of us has ever known anyone who was pierced as an infant so had no info to go on.

He is much less crunchy than I am, though.

Thank you again to the mommas who have given info, this maybe another long discussion for us. Yikes!


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## Jada Mae (Nov 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JustJamie* 
If your DH protests, saying he thinks it's "cute" and "feminine", do a counter-offer. "I don't want to pierce her ears, but you know, I think a labret piercing would be just ADORABLE on her! Don't you think? Or maybe a tiny stud in her nose?"

























That's good! I like the different perspective...if you'll pierce ears why not nose? I mean I love piercings, why not the nose instead?


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## bamamom (Dec 9, 2004)

I'm gonna go get Dynamohumm6 for this one..she's very well versed in body needles









Basically, I wouldnt dare do it. But if I did, I'd go to a tattoo and body piercing shop.

Basically, according to professionals, the piercing guns at the mall arent fully autoclavable, and the needles that the professionals use are autoclaved.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I wouldn't. the most convincing argument I eard was they re choking hazards. reason enough for me to stay away.

that said all my children have peirced ears. they chose to have it done. We delt with infections and lost earrings and such together. it was a pain but I am glad t was thier choice.


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## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

I agree with everyone else, but I want to add that earrings look tacky on babies and small children, especially boys - ugh.


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## dynamohumm6 (Feb 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bamamom* 
I'm gonna go get Dynamohumm6 for this one..she's very well versed in body needles









Basically, I wouldnt dare do it. But if I did, I'd go to a tattoo and body piercing shop.

Basically, according to professionals, the piercing guns at the mall arent fully autoclavable, and the needles that the professionals use are autoclaved.

crap, i just had this huge post written out and lost the whole thing.









Anyway...first...I personally am fiercely against decorating anyone's body except my own.







I consider ear piercings to be just as much "body modification" as tattoos or anything else. As someone covered in tattoos and having had my fair share of piercings, I fully believe that the owner of the body should be the one in charge of making decisions to decorate it.









That being said...if you DO get your kid's ears pierced (no matter what the age) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not let anyone near them with a piercing gun. *Piercing guns can not be fully sterilized (autoclaved)*, and can harbor a whole host of infections diseases (hep B is the most common with them). They also punch through the tissue instead of creating a "hole" (as a hollow bore piercing needle does), creating scar tissue and difficulty in healing. Studs are always used with piercing guns, and the nature of stud earrings lends to unfavorable healing conditions...not enough air gets to the hole, they are always too tight...hoops are the best jewelry to use for new piercings. Going to a professional piercer (most tattoo shops have piercers) will ensure that you get 100% sterilized instruments, a hollow bore needle (no gun) and someone who is licensed by the state, and has taken certification courses in infectious diseases...not a teenage minimum wage mall employee (the professional piercer might look more intimidating, but do you really want the kid in the mall putting semi-permanent holes in your kid's body??).

A couple links regarding piercing guns and ear piercing:

http://www.akrontattoos.com/Pguns.html
http://www.norwalktattoo.com/piercinggun.htm
http://www.safepiercing.org/FAQ.html

FWIW, several months ago I was in Claire's boutique with my daughter (almost 8 yrs) and my baby boy...buying hair scrunchies for her. There was an infant getting her ears pierced. She had had one done, and the poor baby was purple from screaming. We had to leave the store, my dd was so upset at the baby crying (and them not doing anything except trying to hold her still for the other ear). The pain is NOT minimal, especially from a piercing gun. (I've had both, before I knew the dangers) Hollow bore needles hurt MUCH less, as well.

The rule in my house is that the kids have to really, really want them, and have to be able to care for them themselves. That includes salt-water soaks (which is the most important part of preventing infection, NOT rubbing alcohol, which is also bad for healing!). My dd isn't all that interested yet.


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

I had my ears pierced when I was six, it was my request for my birthday. I've never had any trouble with infections and even when I don't wear earrings for over a year they've never closed up. I really think it's individual to the person.

That being said, I wouldn't pierce an infant's ears as I don't see a real need for it and I'd worry about the baby eating an earring all the time.


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

I'm confused. Why is it up for discussion if neither of you seems to think it's important?

And if your DH does decide that it's important, he may change his mind when he meets his infant and considers putting her through even a moment of pain. If you plan to vaxx, maybe have him wait until after the first shot to decide - I can't see ear piercing being any more comfortable than a shot in the thigh.

My vote's on the "it's her body, let her decide."

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ubelle* 
I just thought I would point out that I don't think either of us thinks this is cute and we aren't all about how our daughter will look and how she should act feminin. We've purchased a toy tractor for the child (with help) no matter the gender.

I certianly don't - I would have never considered it.

I honestly think my husband is trying to spare her any pain he can.

Neither of us has ever known anyone who was pierced as an infant so had no info to go on.

He is much less crunchy than I am, though.

Thank you again to the mommas who have given info, this maybe another long discussion for us. Yikes!


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## Aeress (Jan 25, 2005)

I never considered piercing my dd's ears as a baby. she just asked to have them done at 4 and I agreed! we talked about the pain and cleaning and she was fine with it.

she has taken very good care of her ears and is pretty proud of them. I never encouraged or discouraged the idea, she see's me with mine.


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## Ubelle (Nov 3, 2006)

It's up for decision probably because my husband feels every girl will want her ear's pierced someday. He has heard (as had I at one time) that the holes would heal better or faster if this was done as an infant.

I am very sure he is trying to spare her any of the pain/ frustration I go through due to my ear piercings.

He has said that if when she's older and she doesn't want them she can always take them out - therefore it's not the same as the circ issue I debated with him, which is forever.

He hasn't mentioned that he thinks that it would be cute for the baby to have earing. I am trying to find out why he thinks it should be done, He pretty much has just said it would be easier.

Having been pierced myself (other places than my ears) I have always viewed piercing as less permanent than a tattoo (and my DH knows this) however every piercing I have had was *MY* choice. So I am/was torn on the issue because I am anti circ and this seems similar to me, but then again if it saved her pain and frustration later would it be wrong. That's where my question was coming from.







:

I never thought I would offend anyone, I am just confused on how beneficial or harmful this could be, and I really don't want to feel like I am railroading my DH on every subject.


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## Shenjall (Sep 14, 2002)

I guess the argument of saving them pain later on just doesnt make sense. whether or not it heals quicker (which I dont think it does) shouldnt really be an issue. Lets say that yes, anything will heal quicker on an infant. Okay, just in case she needs her appendix out later, lets take it out now; just in case she wants her ears pierced, lets do it now; just in case she wants a tatto, lets do it now....

See where I'm going? You cant save them from possibe pain later on. Hey, she may not even want them, wouldnt _that_ save her from any pain?

Their body, their choice sums it all up.

I dont think you've offended anyone, its just simple - not your ears, dont peirce 'em.







(and you're not railroading your dh, you're educating him, out of love







)


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
No:

It's her body to alter as she wishes
ears grow - holes done as an infant are often uneven later

-Angela

I agree


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

just because you had problems with your peircings is not an indicator your dd will. the opposite is true for us. I never had any problems, my top holes havn't had earrings in them for the last 10 years and I accidently stuck one in the other day (proof they won't nessecarily close up) with no trouble. i can pull earrings out of a pile of poo and put them in my ears without problems. My children though .. . if they even think of puting cheap earrings in they have gaping bleeding open sores. also if they go more than 24 hours wthout earrings they start to close. go figure. everyones body is different.


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## dynamohumm6 (Feb 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ubelle* 
It's up for decision probably because my husband feels every girl will want her ear's pierced someday.

I am very sure he is trying to spare her any of the pain/ frustration I go through due to my ear piercings.

He has said that if when she's older and she doesn't want them she can always take them out.


I guess I'm just really confused on where your husband is coming from on this.







: It's not like every woman or young girl wants earrings, and by piercing her as an infant to spare her pain and frustration with earrings as an adult just seems like making her go through possible pain, frustration, infections, etc as a baby?
I had my ear's done when I was a kid, I asked for them, but they were done with a gun. I was at least 8, I can't remember exactly how old. They've never closed up, but they never healed properly, I can't wear earrings for very long or they swell up and hurt (and I have no allergies to any of the metals), and I have huge keloid scars underneath each hole. Every once in a while, even though I NEVER wear earrings, the scar tissue gets irritated or something and I get this huge lump inside my earlobe, under the piercing hole. So while I can take them out, the problems associated from my gun-piercings remain, earrings in them or not.

I'm not trying to be snarky,







I just really don't get your dh's point of view. If she decides to get earrings when she is capable of making the decision, she can go into it expecting some degree of pain during the piercing, and knowing what to expect afterwards. An infant is incapable of making that decision, you know? I guess I just don't understand why he thinks she would be immune to the pain or problems that you have with yours, just by getting it done as a baby?


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## sesa70 (May 12, 2006)

I supopse I am the minority here...

I dont think its that big a deal. I also think its importance depends on culture. I am hispanic, and its just a 'thing' we tend to peirce our baby girls ears. I had mine done as an infant, I am told that my grandmother brought all her baby girls home from the hospital with earings. I had my older dd's ears done at 2 weeks. She cried briefly, less than 30 seconds. She didnt get strapped or restrained or anything like that. As soon as I picked her up she stopped, and they were healed up in just about 10 days.

Of course, this is just my experience, no one has to agree with me!


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

If your DH is trying to keep her from "unnecessary pain," then it makes no sense to pierce her ears as an infant. Not only will she feel pain just as much as she would later in life, she will not have any idea WHY she is feeling such pain. Does he think that infants feel pain on a lesser level than older children? I'm not really understanding how this is going to save her from feeling unnecessary pain.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I agree with waiting on ear peircing until the child is old enough to decide for themselves.

My ears were peirced when I was six, my mom said she would get me and my sisters a toy if I got my ears peirced. That still kind of irritates me.







:

But now..I don't wear earrings, I have almost NO earlobes at all (they are attached) and earrings bug me. I probably never would have gotten my ears peirced had I had the choice, because they just seem weird on my ears.

However I do love my belly button peircing and have had it thirteen years now.


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## ASusan (Jun 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sesa70* 
I supopse I am the minority here...

I dont think its that big a deal. I also think its importance depends on culture. I am hispanic, and its just a 'thing' we tend to peirce our baby girls ears. I had mine done as an infant, I am told that my grandmother brought all her baby girls home from the hospital with earings. I had my older dd's ears done at 2 weeks. She cried briefly, less than 30 seconds. She didnt get strapped or restrained or anything like that. As soon as I picked her up she stopped, and they were healed up in just about 10 days.

Of course, this is just my experience, no one has to agree with me!

I used to be squarely in the "no piercings on an infant" camp - they have to wait until they can care for it...But, in my DH's family, all baby girls are pierced. My argument that she needs to wait until she is old enough to be able to care for them herself is met with, "Then why don't you shave her head until she can care for her hair?"

The fact that I (and my family) judge infants with piercings was something that I spent some time thinking about.

Also, people who keloid easily are better off getting them done early, rather than later. The later the piercing is done, the more likely it is to keloid. (My DH makes HUGE keloids to the slightest cuts in the skin.)

ETA the link for keloids in relation to early/late piercing

http://pediatrics.aappublications.or...115/5/1312.pdf


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## dynamohumm6 (Feb 22, 2005)

Quote:

Also, people who keloid easily are better off getting them done early, rather than later.
That's still operating under the false assumption that every person wants their ears pierced, though.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
No:

It's her body to alter as she wishes
ears grow - holes done as an infant are often uneven later

-Angela









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ubelle* 
Thank you mama's

I really need to be sure I wasn't crazy on the ethical front

Like I said in the OP, the circ debates was long, it actually started long before the U/S happened, because while I was anti circ, my husband was not. He has essentially gotten to the point where he understand that it's not medically nessasary but he doesn't care one way or the other now. So I got my way but it took parading *a lot* of medical info/ reasons why we shouldn't. The ethical discussion never really played a part though for him.

Thank you for your help.

You are not crazy. It IS a cultural thing, for some families... And in other countries, the body alteration goes a lot further... but if it isn't a cultural question for you and your fam, and it's something you're not down with, stick by your guns.

Here's our totally different approach: When DD has her first menses, she will be offered the opportunity to go get her ears pierced, and/or her nose, at a piercing studio. This will be a way to celebrate her entrance to womanhood. Then Dad will bring her flowers, and we'll have a special dinner, and celebrate some more... if she's into it, she may accompany me and other women to a Women's Circle. We plan to build it up, privately, and make sure she understands what a treasure her body is, and that it is hers to adorn or not...

Maybe Dad can be made to see the sanctity of owning her body and making ALL the big decisions for it, herself... (notwithstanding surgeries etc...)


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

if you wouldn't circ why would you allow ear piercing?


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## moonfirefaery (Jul 21, 2006)

While ear piercing isn't nearly as damaging or as painful as circumcision, I would not allow it to be done to my daughter until she chose it.


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## catnip (Mar 25, 2002)

I had mine pierced at 10. It was a rite of passage, and an experience I would not have wanted to have lost in the fog of infancy. I had mine done with a gun, which I would not consider now, and even then, it really did not hurt very much for a 10 year-old. But a 10 year-old can handle and injection without crying.

If Kaia wants earrings, I probably will let her get pierced younger than I did, but I won't do it until she understands it will hurt and wants it done anyway.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

My vote is let her decide.

GL mama!


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## lifescholar (Nov 26, 2006)

Sigh...I love you guys! lol

I have had this discussion on so many other boards, and usually I am in the minority....

I agree that it is the child's body, and I have no right to alter it.

My sister got my niece's ears pierced, even after I begged her not to...I feel so sad for her!

To me, it just seems kind of confusing for a child....they are taught that their body belongs to them, and that they can say "no" if someone does something they don't like, right? So....why do Mommy and Daddy have the right to cut off their foreskin, or put holes in their ears!?!? Hm....maybe it's only their body unless their parents want to alter it?....how confusing!!


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## mamamille (Nov 30, 2006)

Two things come to mind: one) I can't help but hear my pediatrician tell me that she recommends the ama vacc schedule because babies are so easy and won't remember the pain of the shot.







: I know that is soooo off the subject, but the argument seems so illogical.

and two) how many people remember the discomfort when they got their ears/nose/tongue/nipple/body part pierced? When you have your little one in your arms, you will forever not want to cause them to experience anything as red, hot, swollen, itchy, hard, foreign.
Not to mention little hands as they grab and explore. Effectively there will be a part of her body that she will not be free to play and feel. She will be told "no, don't touch" and for me that is a sad and scary situation. That means that her body (even something "insignificant" as her earlobes) will not be hers.
Not to mention soft little head and skin pressing on sharp and pokey; little ears as they get pulled and caught on shirts and dresses; little plump and warm arms getting scratched, and pinched.

All and all, it seem too confining for the little ones. And maybe it's not too early to found ~her body, her choice. It is a powerful existence that is our birthright as females.

hope I wasn't too preachy, just had some thoughts...


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## EFmom (Mar 16, 2002)

I married into a family that tried using the excuse that it's a cultural thing to pierce infant girls' ears on me. My response was that sometimes cultural practices make no sense or are harmful and need to be changed. On my side of the family, the cultural norm is to drink until you keel over for certain occasions. Thanks, but we'll pass on that cultural tradition as well.


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## rharr! (Nov 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ubelle* 

the first two times were with the gun and I had problems with infections and the holes closing all the time.


Infants can only be done with a gun around here. You wont find anyone who is willing to use a needle on a baby. This reason should be enough I think. What is to say she will not have problems with infections?

My other reasons not to have my dd's ears pierced (and not agree with having infants ears pierced altogether) They may not remember the pain, but at that very moment it HURTS!!!! so not fair to put a baby through that unwillingly.

Also, she may not want earrings when she is older. Her body, her choice.


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## Shenjall (Sep 14, 2002)

Quote:

They may not remember the pain, but at that very moment it HURTS!!!!
Exactly. Just b/c my infant wont remember me smacking her upside the head doesnt make it okay.


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

I don't mean to be mean, but I think piercings on children are ugly. I just cringe inside when I see them. I don't think babies need such adornments just to please their parents, particularly when it's a permanent mutilation of a body part.


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## kate~mom (Jul 21, 2003)

let me tell a little story.

when i was younger, my parents made me wait until i was 12 to get mine pierced. it was a MAJOR bone of contention. so when dh and i were talking the ear piercing issue over once, we were torn - i didn't like the idea of piercing an infant's ears, but didn't want to set a specific age, either. so decided that when dd asked to get it done, we would.

well, dd started "asking" when she was 2.







: it started when she would "help" me put on my jewelry in the am. she'd ask "where are [her name]'s earrings?" at first she was easily distracted by "oh, you don't have earrings." when it continued for a few months, i began thinking that perhaps this was not going to go away.







so i thought i would provide her with some information designed to dissuade her. she had *just gotten a vaccine at the dr's, so i told her, "if you want, you can get earrings, but they hurt like a shot." my plan went down the toilet when she replied, "ok, a shot. i want earrings."

so we go. conveniently there was a little girl there BAWLING her eyes out getting hers done. so i explained it all over again to dd - it hurts, you might cry. again, the stoic child replies, "ok, i'll cry. i want earrings." so we get them done. she was a little quivery in the chin until she looked at herself in the mirror and thought she was hot stuff.

everything went smoothly - healed up nicely, no accidents, etc. she always wears quality, classy earrings, and we're careful not to do hoops or small earring that might cause a problem (a friend of mine had a very small stud go backwards through her ear). i'm fairly confident that we had made the right decision.

well, more than three and half years later - this past weekend, in fact, i MAJORLY began to question it. apparently, dd was wearing earrings that had a slightly loose back. she pushed the back tightly against her ear so they wouldn't fall off, and didn't mention this to me. it couldn't have been more than two weeks ago because i had just helped her put in those earrings (i went looking for pictures yesterday). well, i'm not sure what exactly happened (if they went in on an angle, if she cut herself a little doing that) but the skin began regrowing over the backs of both earrings and we were this close to having to go to the dr to get them surgically removed from her ears.

needless to say, her earlobes are spending the week healing. dd and i have discussed it, and come to the conclusion that we will try to gently put earrings in on friday night. if they don't go in EASILY, then we'll stick with no earrings for a while.


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## seven_lux (Jun 13, 2003)

Pain aside, I feel it's more an issue of bodily integrity.

Your hubby must be some kinda wonderful man to be so sure on knowing what most women want (or are going to want).


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:

Your hubby must be some kinda wonderful man to be so sure on knowing what most women want (or are going to want).
That was really rude and uncalled for. They are trying to make the best decision for their child and insulting her husband does nothing to help.


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## KayasMama04 (Feb 4, 2006)

Its a cultural thing for babies to get there ears pierced..but im not going to..my mom keeps asking and we keep saying no.


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## LeftField (Aug 2, 2002)

I heard a baby getting her ears pierced at the mall. I could hear this tiny baby screaming, I mean seriously wailing. And I was wondering what on earth had happened, because as a mother, you recognize the different types of cries. This baby was distraught. When I looked over in the direction of the cry, I saw that it was a jewelry place and the baby was having its ears pierced. It was so upsetting, especially as a mother. I'm apparently very sensitive to these things now that that I have kids. I was so angry at that woman. I'm sure the pain doesn't last that long and the baby won't remember it, but in the moment, it really hurt that baby and that's just wrong to me. It may not have lasted that long but the baby was just wailing. It was horrible. I think it's a bit much just so other people will think she looks pretty. I wouldn't do it. The baby is not an extension of ourselves. They are people, not dolls.


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## Moochie Mamma (Jan 23, 2006)

I haven't read the other responses yet, but I definitely would not do it. I'm going to wait until DD really wants them pierced and is old enough to take care of them.


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## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

hello... haven't read all the responses but i vote no... i actually used to think i would do it... and then someone did that comparison with circ... and well, valid point. it isn't my body, so why assume something that they can decide to do later if they want?


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## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Nikki~* 
The holes never grew over.

As an adult, I can still put earrings in. It's not the end of the world, but it really does bother me that my ears were pierced without my permission. I never would have chosen to do it, if I had been given a choice at any point in my childhood.

Let your daughter decide.

Ha! That was actually one of the reasons I thought it would be a good idea originally, "well, see, then it will be permanent and isn't that better because then they won't have it closing up on them????" and then a friend did it to his daughter and i felt







... *sigh* live and learn....


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

I just realized why everyone thinks DD is a boy, she doesn't have her ears pierced. (Its pretty common around here)

I also vote no. For the reasons everyone said and one I didn't see. It just doesn't hurt that bad to have it done *properly* as a tween, teen and adult. OK, my cartiledge piercings hurt but the regular ones stung a little and that was all. My hep vaccines hurt more, a lot more. -I was going to areas of the world where I thought hep vaccines would be helpful so please do not yell at me for having myself vaccinated.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

I agree with PP.

There's no reason whatsoever to do it, and a multitude of reasons not to.

In our family getting your ears pierced was an exciting coming of age thing. We had to wait until we were 16, I waited longer.


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## OnTheFence (Feb 15, 2003)

Nope, wouldnt do it. I know some people do it for cultural reasons but it still bothers me. I really do not see that as being much different than circ.


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## Ligmom (Nov 24, 2001)

I would not pierce my daughter's ears b/c I believe it should be her choice. However, I do not feel that it is as serious an issue as circ. b/c it does not actually damage/remove a functional body part. It is purely cosmetic,though, and may not be to her liking later in life. Leave it to be her choice.


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## zeldabee (Aug 23, 2004)

I was under pressure to have my son circ'd by my son's father, and didn't do it. Had I had a girl, I would have been under pressure to have her ears pierced as an infant, since he's hispanic, and it's the done thing as far as he's concerned. We had a frank exchange of views about both of these subjects before we knew our child's gender...I felt more strongly about the circ thing--we aren't/weren't married, and I told him that I'd decline to have his name on the birth certificate if he persisted about the circ issue (it was odd to me that Sprogly's father was so in favor of it, since he's intact).

I didn't feel quite so adamant about the piercing issue--I didn't want to do it on general principle, but I don't know if I would have caved on that one. The circ thing is a no-brainer as far as I am concerned, since neither of us is Jewish or has any other major cultural reason to circ.


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## member234098 (Aug 3, 2002)

Another take.

I pierced my DDs' when they were three months old.

When they were teens, we double and triple pierced. It was fun. Never a problem.


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## soygurl (Jan 28, 2006)

I refuse to ever pierce baby's ears. Three main reasons:

1. I think they look creepy on babies. JMO

2. Not. My. Body.
What right do I have to alter someone else's body without their consent? Not everyone likes or wants their ears pierces. There are NO benefits. It's totally cosmetic. It HURTS.

3. Piercing Guns are horrible!
I can't imagine any professional piercer who would be willing to pierce a baby, and I will NEVER allow a child of mine to get anything pierced with a piercing gun. I will never again get any of MY body parts pierced with a gun. They are dangerous! They cause much more damage than piercing needles, they can cause infections and spread diseases (because they can't be sterilized), and they can cause some NASTY complications. Here's some more info on piercing guns, but feel free to google your own research!







:

http://www.safepiercing.org/FAQ.html -(scroll down)
http://www.namaii.com/suck/
http://tattoo.about.com/cs/psafety/a/piercing_guns.htm
http://www.pacificbodyjewellery.com/smkgun.htm


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## Shenjall (Sep 14, 2002)

I know the peircing studios in my city wont peirce ears on anyone under the age of 2.

Quote:

The baby is not an extension of ourselves. They are people, not dolls.
I love this!


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## gret the great (Nov 26, 2001)

My 3.5 yo wants to get her ears pierced. We have been talikng about it for 2 months & she still wants it done.... But she's not vaccinated- is there a problem with tetanus?

I told her that we could consider doing it for her birthday (in April). If she is still wanting it done then...


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## soygurl (Jan 28, 2006)

I wouldn't worry about tetanus, but I WOULD worry about all the things that can go wrong with piercing guns. There are several links earlier in this thread, and google will bring up tons of info too. Piercing guns are SCARY! I would NEVER let any child of mine get pierced with one. At the same time... I highly doubt that you will fine any profesional piercer who is willing to pierce a 4 year old. Unless s/he is an EXTREMELY close personal friend of yours.


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## MysteryMama (Aug 11, 2006)

i don't think it's right to have body modifications done to a baby. and ear piercing is a body modification just like nipple rings, navel rings, tatoos, etc. these are things that are personal choices. besides, it's just unnessecary. and a baby is just as likely to have problems with infections and the piercings closing up as an adult, if not moreso.


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## anubis (Oct 6, 2006)

I never got my ears pierced. I would have been livid if my mum had done that. Around the ages 5-9 I really wanted to be a boy, and actually had friends who thought I was a boy. Pierced ears would have totally ruined that









I've got one piercing, my lovely labret that I got at the ripe old age of 19. I just don't want earrings. And I have to say (no offense to anyone) that I think they look quite creepy on babies. The same way I'm not going to pierce my kids' lips, even though I absolutely love lip studs and the like, I wouldn't pierce their ears. I'm not dressing my kid in pink just to let people know it's a girl, why would I make permanent body modifications for that exact same reason?


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## Sylith (Apr 15, 2002)

Never had my ears pierced. Don't wear jewelry, as a rule. I'm glad there are no holes in my ears.

*If* she ever wants it done, she can. If you make the decision for her, though, it might not be so simple for her to undo.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

While I don't think ear piercing is AS BAD as circ, I think they're on the same continuum, namely, mutilating a child's body for cosmetic reasons without the child's consent.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

I won't pierce my DD's ears until she is well old enough not only to take care of them herself, but also to understand that the holes are there for life, and even if she chooses in the future to not wear earring and allows the holes to "close" they don't ever truly heal, and can still get infected, etc.

Sure, the hole will get small - too small to comfortably put an earring in. But it's still going to be there.

I'm almost 30 - I HATE the holes in my ears that I begged for at 6. I never wear earrings, and I still get infections in my holes several times a year as stuff like shampoo, soap, sweat, etc gets inside the hole.


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## maliceinwonderland (Apr 17, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JustJamie* 
If your DH protests, saying he thinks it's "cute" and "feminine", do a counter-offer. "I don't want to pierce her ears, but you know, I think a labret piercing would be just ADORABLE on her! Don't you think? Or maybe a tiny stud in her nose?"

That's the argument I used when dd was a baby







Along with the ridiculousness of it - everyone thinks I should get her ears pierced, and yet I would have her taken away for a stud in the nose (which probably hurts less!)
It's all body modification, and it's a serious thing. My kids have to be old enough to make the choice and take care of it themselves, and when she is, she's lucky enough to have a professional piercer as one of her godmothers, so she's covered...the other is a tattoo artist..so we're set


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ubelle* 
I have heard that the pain would be minimial and they would forget it

And many, many, MANY people say that about circ'ing little boys. Doesn't make it true, does it?


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## BWife (Dec 29, 2006)

I don't have a little girl, but if I did I would choose to wait. I had mine done when I started my cycle as a right of passage/welcomeo to womanhood. And my second holes done when I was out of high school and my parents could not stop me! LOL


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## Equuskia (Dec 16, 2006)

I would wait until she can decide for herself. My mom mentioned a few times about getting my dd ears pierced (we're hispanic), but I never felt right about doing it. After I saw how much she wailed after she got her first vax at 4 months (never again!) I certainly wasn't going to pierce her ears. She can wait until she can tolerate the pain and care for them herself. Wish I had known about the piercing guns and gone to a piercing parlor instead. I did piercings with a gun, and they got infected for a long time.


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## Mama2Bug (Feb 18, 2005)

I would never pierce any part of my child without their consent. A hole in the ear is a hole in the ear, even if it is too small to put an earring through. The hole will still _be there_, if it has healed properly, and it may be unwanted. I know some people with "closed" piercing holes that are still visible- either by a tiny, scar-like indentation or discoloration.

The piercing guns used at malls are unclean and unsafe. Piercing a baby's (or anyone's, really) ears with one puts the child at risk for hepatitis and other infections. A piercing gun can never, ever, in any way be cleaned satisfactorally to remove this risk. A safe piercing is always done with a clean, new needle, by a trained and practiced professional. That said-

A very close friend of mine owns a tattoo studio and his sister is the piercer there. She has said that she absolutely will NOT pierce the ears of a child under 8. She feels that she needs to be sure both the child _and_ their parent/guardian understand the process and proper aftercare. A smaller child also is more likely to try to wiggle away and cause themselves or the piercer injury.

Some pediatricians do ear piercing on children, with a needle. While it is probably cleaner and safer than the teenager with a piercing gun at the mall, I don't think I would want to rely on a doctor for placement, etc. He or she is unlikely to perform the procedure often, so they wouldn't be very well practiced.


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## PrettyBird (Jun 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EFmom* 
I married into a family that tried using the excuse that it's a cultural thing to pierce infant girls' ears on me. My response was that sometimes cultural practices make no sense or are harmful and need to be changed. On my side of the family, the cultural norm is to drink until you keel over for certain occasions. Thanks, but we'll pass on that cultural tradition as well.

I agree. In our families circumcision is also a cultural norm (that needs to be changed!) that we are going to pass on should we have a boy. So the cultural norm excuse doesn't fly with me.

I had my ears pierced at 7 or 8 and I really regret it. I cannot wear earrings because I get disgusting puss in the holes. Now the holes are just there and look really stupid. They still get crusty stuff on them sometimes. Gross.


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## Shenjall (Sep 14, 2002)

This thought popped into my head. How/why do young girls (3,4,5, etc) know about earrings? I've heard people tell me that their dd really wanted their ears peirced, but at that age, how is it something that they even think of? I dont mean to attack anyone, that is truly not my intent. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I cant imagine my 4yr dd asking me for them now. And I understand that kids/people are different, but I wonder if there is something else?
My dd has no interest in them, could it be b/c I never wear them?

For you mamas with young dd's that want them, do you wear earrings alot?

(no judgement whatsoever, just curious)


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## mcng (Oct 17, 2006)

I'm hispanic too and I did get my dd's ears pierced at the hospital







:
They did not use a gun or a needle they used the earrings they actually sell earrings here that do the job, and it was not a big deal at all I think the vax shots were a eay bigger deal than this







: ( we do selective delayed vax, as we live in a tropical third world country).

I had mine done as an infant too and mine are even and never caused a problem and honestly here where everybody gets their baby girls ears pierced at birth I have yet to see someone with uneven holes. For me I'm glad my mom did it at birth because I LOVE my earrings but have a needle fobia and it would have been so much harder for me to get them at a different stage in my life.


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## darkpear (Jul 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
This thought popped into my head. How/why do young girls (3,4,5, etc) know about earrings? I've heard people tell me that their dd really wanted their ears peirced, but at that age, how is it something that they even think of? I dont mean to attack anyone, that is truly not my intent. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I cant imagine my 4yr dd asking me for them now. And I understand that kids/people are different, but I wonder if there is something else?
My dd has no interest in them, could it be b/c I never wear them?

For you mamas with young dd's that want them, do you wear earrings alot?

(no judgement whatsoever, just curious)









My girls (almost-4 and 1) have never expressed an interest in earrings, though I have several that are more-or-less permanently in my ears. They're both fascinated by my tongue stud though, and the older one has asked for one at least once... yeah, that's gonna have to wait


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## GenomicsGirl (Jan 25, 2004)

My sister's and my ears were pierced as newborns. I wasn't emotionally scarred by it, I never felt mutilated, and I was never resentful towards my mom for having done it. My sister did both of her girls at the hospital as well. I think it's more acceptable where we're from.

I would do my dd's ears if they offered at the hospital. I'm obviously in the minority on this board, but I'm expressing myself anyways and giving my personal opinion, so please refrain from any snarky responses


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## mothragirl (Sep 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Shenjall* 
This thought popped into my head. How/why do young girls (3,4,5, etc) know about earrings? I've heard people tell me that their dd really wanted their ears peirced, but at that age, how is it something that they even think of? I dont mean to attack anyone, that is truly not my intent. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I cant imagine my 4yr dd asking me for them now. And I understand that kids/people are different, but I wonder if there is something else?
My dd has no interest in them, could it be b/c I never wear them?

For you mamas with young dd's that want them, do you wear earrings alot?

(no judgement whatsoever, just curious)









i wear earrings daily. at 14 months alice started holding them up to her own ears and now she stands in front of the mirror holding them to her ears and saying "pretty". she won't have them pierced til she can ask for them though.


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## gret the great (Nov 26, 2001)

I have studs in that I rarely change. I have 3 holes in each ear. My mother, sister & MIL all wear earrings. We know lots of girls who have had earrings since they were infants. That is how my DD knows about earrings... Right now she's happy with stickers on her ears







I am hoping this lasts.


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## grypx831 (May 22, 2005)

It's cultural in my family but I didn't mainly because I didn't need one more thing to worry about (infection/her ripping them out/etc). I look at is as there is no "piercing emergency", she can get them done later if she wants, it doesn't need to be RIGHT NOW.


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## Getz (May 22, 2005)

My daughter (who is due in 2 months!) can get her ears pierced when she asks for it and it old enough to take care of them.


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## Lisa85 (May 22, 2006)

Quote:

My girls (almost-4 and 1) have never expressed an interest in earrings, though I have several that are more-or-less permanently in my ears. They're both fascinated by my tongue stud though, and the older one has asked for one at least once... yeah, that's gonna have to wait
Sounds like me. I have a 15mo old dd who is always pointing at it, then sticking her tongue out and pointing at hers. Some family friends of ours have a 7yr old and 5 yr old and both asked for tongue studs for xmas this year. Their mom was pretty surprised by the request since she didn't know they even knew tongue studs existed. When she asked where they got the idea, they said from me. I'm sure their mom would have liked to kill me.







Then she had to explain why it was ok for them to have earings but not tongue studs, and of course they really didn't understand how it was any different.

As for the original post, any dc will have to wait until they can pay for, take care of, and understand the pain involved with piercings (not only the initial piercing, but infections, healing time, etc). I think it's a great opportunity to teach responsibility and one way to teach them to learn how to distinguish if something is merely just the 'want of the hour' or something they really would enjoy.


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## miss_sonja (Jun 15, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *EFmom* 
I married into a family that tried using the excuse that it's a cultural thing to pierce infant girls' ears on me. My response was that sometimes cultural practices make no sense or are harmful and need to be changed. On my side of the family, the cultural norm is to drink until you keel over for certain occasions. Thanks, but we'll pass on that cultural tradition as well.

Excellent point! I wouldn't pierce a baby's ears, for all the reasons mentioned. I do not have pierced ears and NEVER wanted them. If either DD wants them, we'll talk about it--it's their body, their decision, but they're children, and this is a decision that can last a lifetime.


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

Some practical reasons why I wouldn't go there:

1. Piercing guns are the only available method for people under the age of 13 in my area. The nastiness has already been covered.

2. I'm allergic to metals, nickel in particular, and no earrings ever felt good in my ears until I got my glass plugs. I figure my kids have a good chance of allergies as well. I wouldn't put them through the infections.

3. That girl in elementary school who's earlobes had healed-together lines through them from about where an earring would have been, straight down through the bottom. Somehow the earrings had gotten caught on something and pulled right out. Ouch!


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Her body her choice. Same as circ his body his choice.


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## Kundalini-Mama (Jul 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sesa70* 
I supopse I am the minority here...

I dont think its that big a deal. *I also think its importance depends on culture.* I am hispanic, and its just a 'thing' we tend to peirce our baby girls ears. I had mine done as an infant, I am told that my grandmother brought all her baby girls home from the hospital with earings. I had my older dd's ears done at 2 weeks. She cried briefly, less than 30 seconds. She didnt get strapped or restrained or anything like that. As soon as I picked her up she stopped, and they were healed up in just about 10 days.

Of course, this is just my experience, no one has to agree with me!

Not debating with you







, but one could argue that the importance of circ-ing depends on culture too. Doesn't make it right, but it is cultural.


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Pleae don't modify your child's body.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Any future dds of mine can have their ears pierced when they ask for them









I plan on doing it myself, with a hollow-bore needle and CBRs


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## goosysmom (May 28, 2005)

i would wait. i am the only one in my circle of friends who didn't get her little girls ears pierced when she was an infant and they think i'm crazy......i think tiny studs on an infant look silly and in having my own family style daycare right now the 2 and 3yos who have their ears pierced are always messing with em, one ends up lost bc of the fact, sometimes it's found, sometimes it's not and then the parents get mad etc........but in the end, the children don't leave em alone....in my experience that is...

dsd just got hers done for her 7th birthday..she mentioned it a year or so ago and i told her that if her mom said it was ok, we would do it in a few years IF she remembered and still wanted it done....so we did...we took her to a piercing studio bc of them being able to stearlize everything and they had 2 ppl do it so both ears got done at the same time and it was over before she knew it began.....

i was 7 when i got mine done and i only wanted them bc my best friend got hers done..my mom took us to our pediatrician and he did them....but that was in the early 80s.i don't think they do that anymore.....

i'd wait.....she'll let ya know if she wants them....


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## Kundalini-Mama (Jul 15, 2002)

The other thing I was thinking, is that I notice you are in Central VT, I am too (although Central VT is huge







) & I think I have seen maybe one baby girl w/pierced ears in my 5 yrs since I've become a mom. It just doesn't seem to be done here, yk?


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## Sarahbunny (Jun 13, 2006)

I think it's cute.







:







: My baby's aren't pierced, but only because my mom would have a fit about it. As long as you make sure all safety precautions are done, I don't think it is a big deal.


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## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

Save that for a coming of age type ritual.

Seriously, wait until she is asking for arrings AND ready to take care of them properly. Make it a special event for her. The day will come all too soon!


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## Sarahbunny (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mary-Beth* 
Save that for a coming of age type ritual.



That's a nice idea. I am probably still harboring resentment from when I was in 3rd grade and BEGGED for earrings, but my mom said no until 6th grade. Also to sleepovers! I came from a ultra-conservative family. Sesame Street was considered too liberal for me to watch, if you can believe that!


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## treqi (Dec 31, 2006)

what if your kid didn't want her ears peirced?? i got mine done when i was 12 and even though i never wear earrings they have never closed let your kid make the decision later


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## mimid (Dec 29, 2004)

We are in a similar-ish boat. DH wanted to ge the girls Moroccan jewelry for their 1st birthday--including the earrings. I said "okay" as long as they are done by a pro (with a needle) and he does everything from finding someone to getting it done to caring for it.

Now they are getting bracelets and nacklaces for their birthday.


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## lotusmamma (Jan 1, 2007)

If my dh suggested such a thing I'd probably say it was okay as long as he did it himself which, of course, he couldn't bear to do.

> I have heard that the pain would be minimial and they would forget it,

> Based on that argument you could slap your baby in the face with no ill effects.

> that it's easier if mom just keeps the ears clean while they heal, and that the holes heal differently so that they won't close up later.

My ears never got infected and the holes never close up and I was 12yo when mine were pierced.

How can a parent seriously put their daughter through pain and risk potential infection just because they thinks earrings would improve her appearance.

Sam in Sydney


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

I could never choose to hurt my baby.









eta: have to clarify.

DD gets growth hormone injections every single night (complicated issue, not just for linear growth). Before we started that I would cry myself to sleep. It took her months to get used to being stuck every night (and this is a teeny tiny needle that is only subcutaneous, not intramuscular). Now, she doesn't cry, just jumps a little and goes back to playing. I can't imagine choosing to do something like that to her for non-medical necessity.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

I pierced my first 2 daughters' ears as babies, not number 3 because she had severe eczema on her earlobes, and not DD4 because she is unvaxed and they won't do it without proof of vax on babies.

But if I could have, I would have for DD3 and 4. DD3 is very sad she doesn't have earrings and is asking me to pierce her ears (she is 3).

I haven't met a girl who doesn'tlike pierced ears... my older 2 daughters love their pierced ears.

My grandmother's ears were pierced by the midwife the day she was born! I always wished it had been the same for me. Mine were pierced when I was older.


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## DoubleLove (Jan 6, 2007)

I just had a conversation with my own Mama about this the other day. In my family and among my Mama's close friends, it has been tradition to pierce us girls ears before the age of 3 months and it was made into a ceremony and performed by my mother outside as she nursed us and her friends daughters. My DD is now 4 months old (2 months adjusted) and my mama wants to pierce her ears in the same fashion she did us, but I told her I wasn't comfortable with it. None of the 8 baby girls she pierced ever have had any problems with it. She feels they heals easier because they don't touch it and they don't yet have hair to get caught in it. She said she just put breastmilk on them every day and they healed completely in a few weeks. None of our holes are in the wrong spot btw. Anyhow, I decided to let my DD do it when she feels ready to make that decision (if she does).

On another note, my Mama had a fit when I decided to stretch my ear lobes about 5 years ago...







:

Truthfully, mine were pierced at 2 weeks old and I've never been upset about it in the least.


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meowee* 
I haven't met a girl who doesn'tlike pierced ears... my older 2 daughters love their pierced ears.


Hi, nice to meet you. Now you've met someone who doesn't like pierced ears. I also had mine done as a young child and I do not like earrings. I haven't worn earrings in 15 years yet the holes are still visible. It makes me so angry that I have these stupid looking scars on my ears and it wasn't even my choice. Secondly mine have not grown over, obviously they never will. I also still get infections in them every couple of months. It hurts and pus comes out of them.

No do not pierce your baby's ears. How in the world could you possibly think that is your decision to make. Tell your DH that not all girls like earrings and if she does then she can choose to do it. I'm sorry but I find the argument that he is trying to spare her pain is idiotic. He wants to put your infant daughter through pain so he can spare her pain in the future?







: In the future it would be her choice!


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lotusmamma* 
> I have heard that the pain would be minimial and they would forget it,

> Based on that argument you could slap your baby in the face with no ill effects.


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## sebarnes (Feb 2, 2005)

Body modification should only be done by the person whose body it is. Period.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

A woman at one of my playgroups brought her daughter in last week with pierced ears (she's 7 months) and I was shocked, frankly. I assumed they were earring stickers or clip ons but nope, they were the real thing. I just kept thinking "poor little baby."









I would wait until your DD has a chance to make that decision for herself. I had mine done when I was about 8 or 9 and it's a good memory. These days I rarely wear earrings though as DD would just pull them out.


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## GenomicsGirl (Jan 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Mary-Beth* 
Save that for a coming of age type ritual.

Seriously, wait until she is asking for arrings AND ready to take care of them properly. Make it a special event for her. The day will come all too soon!

That's a nice idea. Maybe a special gift for her 13th birthday or something?


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## Mama2Bug (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sarahbunny* 
I think it's cute.







:







: My baby's aren't pierced, but only because my mom would have a fit about it. As long as you make sure all safety precautions are done, I don't think it is a big deal.

I don't think "cute" is a good reason to permanently alter the body of another person. Even if I thought you would be "cute" with a flower tattooed on your forehead, it would still be wrong for me to hold you down and have it done to you.

Why do you feel that you have more of a right to alter the body of your daughter? Do you feel that she belongs to you somehow, in a possessive sense? Is it because she can't protest in a grammatically correct, verbal way?

I just don't understand the logic here. Earrings aren't a frilly baby dress. They are bits of metal driven through earlobes.


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## QueenOfThePride (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Heavenly* 
I also still get infections in them every couple of months. It hurts and pus comes out of them.









: You're the only other person I've 'met' that has the same problem as me!!! I haven't worn earrings in 6 years, and one hole gets infected every few months - pain, itching, swelling, and pus oozing out. I know how you feel!


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## mom_2_kaiden (Mar 21, 2006)

i pierced dd's ears at 6 months. i had mine done early so i wanted her to have the same. mostly all i planned prior to deciding was that she would have 1 free piercing...if she decided later not to wear earrings...or to pierce herself a million times i would not pay for it...and she cant pierce her face!!!

she cried for a minute and then smiled...she was fine, no pain issues but she was allergic to the pair that we switched to once they had healed...very common. so we switched her back to the kind they pierced her with and all is well









i like people being able to tell she is a girl. i mean she wore pink or purple with a headband for months and i still got the gender question...so i took it a step further and got earrings...still got asked if she was a boy...but not for long lol...some people!


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## kimiij (Jun 18, 2006)

i don't think it's a big deal...


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom_2_kaiden* 
i pierced dd's ears at 6 months. i had mine done early so i wanted her to have the same. mostly all i planned prior to deciding was that she would have 1 free piercing...if she decided later not to wear earrings...or to pierce herself a million times i would not pay for it...and she cant pierce her face!!!

she cried for a minute and then smiled...she was fine, no pain issues but she was allergic to the pair that we switched to once they had healed...very common. so we switched her back to the kind they pierced her with and all is well









i like people being able to tell she is a girl. i mean she wore pink or purple with a headband for months and i still got the gender question...so i took it a step further and got earrings...still got asked if she was a boy...but not for long lol...some people!


this makes me sao sad. especially the part about "being able to tell she's a girl"...why not just enjoy her as a baby?


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kimiij* 
i don't think it's a big deal...

what if your mom lightened your skin as a baby? Would that be okay?

I am astounded that anyone here would think it is okay to modify their childs body permanently


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## HannahsMomma (Oct 2, 2006)

A lot of people ask dh and I if we will pierce dds ears. It's not something we feel comfortable with. We want it to be dds decision, not ours. I think if she wants her ears pierced when she's older we'll go together and make it a special event (like a pp said). My mom waited until I asked to get them done when I was in grade school. I'm thankful she respected me as my own person and didn't assume that just because I'm a girl I would want my ears pierced.
~B


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## huskermommy (Jun 14, 2006)

I'm against ear piercing infants. I can't stand stand!! If you're going to keep your son's body whole, I think you should give the same respect to your daughter and if she later on wants her ears pierced, you'll have to make that decision with her and find a professional to do it.







GOOD LUCK MAMA!


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## kimiij (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *vbactivist* 
what if your mom lightened your skin as a baby? Would that be okay?

I am astounded that anyone here would think it is okay to modify their childs body permanently









Not nearly an equally comparable issue to me....


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## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kimiij* 
Not nearly an equally comparable issue to me....


why not? some people would see it as "no big deal"...in both cases you are permanently altering your child's body/appearance.


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## Dael (Jan 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DoubleLove* 

Truthfully, mine were pierced at 2 weeks old and I've never been upset about it in the least.

Yeah mine where to, they closed when I was 9 and I pierce them myself at 10:nana:
I also pierce my DD's ears and my DH right ear







WE have never had trouble with DD's ears, no infection nothing! She's not wearing earings now, but becuase I took them off and haven't put them to her again.
Not such a big deal







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kimiij* 
Not nearly an equally comparable issue to me....

I agree here, is not the same, you can' compar an ear piercing that if you want you can take the earings out and it will close over time that to lightened your skin.

But that was the way I was raised and the way DH was raised, that way, Is not somethinmg unacceptable in my opinion, now getting a child a permenant tattoo is unacceptable


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I don't think it is comparable either. However, not everybody's holes close. Mine never have.


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## cristina63303 (Apr 3, 2006)

OK, personal experience here:
I grew up in Venezuela. The ONLY girl I knew whose ears were not pierced as an infant was... ME. It is "just what we do" (sound familiar?)

I was always very happy and proud that my mom had left that decision up to me. I never really intended to do it, actually. Many of my friends battled constant infections and metal allergies, by the way.

On the run-up to my wedding (I was almost 31yo) I found beautiful earrings that I really loved, my dad bought them for me and I just had my ears pierced.

No pain involved whatsoever. Is it called a "gun"?, I guess, but it really does not hurt. My holes don't close (It's been 8 years), never got infected AND they are much nicer (and smaller) than those of most of my friends who had them done at birth. Theirs have mostly transformed into slits and pull right up to the edge of the earlobe (I find it a bit creepy, I must say).

IMHO, earings look a bit ridiculous on babies. Don't do it. Leave it up to her.


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## felix23 (Nov 7, 2006)

I used to work in a daycare and the toddlers with pierced ears were all the time getting them caught or trying to pull them out. I think that it is a personal choice, and since they are not my ears, I don't have the right to choose.


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## Spinifex (Oct 5, 2006)

My mom never pierced my ears for me, and when I was 18 I went out and had it done myself. It was cool - I felt very adult after having it done. I'm glad she left that decision up to me.

If you do decide to go ahead with this, take her to a reputable, clean piercer, not a mall jewelry stand. You'll get better results with a piercing needle than a gun.


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## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

Never.

Not for my son, or a future daughter.
The 'so they know its a girl' argument is so ridiculous, I can hardly respond. 'So what?' Is what I say.
Because of the clothes that are available - my son wears mostly dark colors, blues, reds and greens. Mostly blues actually, everytime he leaves the house - he gets mistaken for a girl. He has luscious shiny curly hair - but I'm not going to cut it, just so he can abide by what 'boys look like.'
Nor am I going to dress him in Monster Truck shirts to Prove that he has a certain genitals.
Blah.

I see earrings to be the same thing.
"Look, she's a GIRL." Blah.
Way to encourage your kids to abide by cultural stigma.

If my son wants to wear a dress, I'll help him pick out the fabric, and we'll make it together (when he realizes it is harder to play in, he may think otherwise.)
If my daughter wants to pierce her ears, I'll find the reasoning, and discuss it with her. Until she's old enough to have that conversation, no way.

Theres a difference between putting your baby girl in a dress and altering her body to conform to whats 'cute'.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

*CUTE* is an outfit, or a silly grin, or a jiggly belly or bum... not a body-altering, non-medical, non-imperative procedure that requires metal to pass thru a child's body-part.


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## Cassandra M. (Aug 3, 2003)

First of all I would like to commend and congratulate you for learning so early in the parenting game to question *everything!* Kudos to you! It will save you and your babes a lot of needless trauma!

Secondly, I couldn't pierce my newborn infants ears. Not only does it seem pointless to put them through unneccesary pain, they'd be uncomfortable laying on their little ears for at least the time it took to heal, and for what purpose? I do think it is similar to circ, although in a lesser degree. Also, my holes in my ears haven't closed and I haven't worn earrings in 7 yrs? I am sure I will always have a mark there.

Better to let them make their own choice later. Karina is 6 and still hasn't asked! Whew!







When she does, I will let her, but I'm certainly not mentioning it!


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