# Mom's of Many it’s February



## baltic_ballet (May 17, 2007)

: Mom's of Many it's February







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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Hello hello!


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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

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## 3tammuz (Apr 30, 2008)

Wow - it is Feb. already. I feeling over-worked. My baby will ONLY sleep in someone's arms. He has yet to take to the Kozy carrier or wrap. I am working on getting the correct size pouch. I am hoping that will help asI get NOTHING done each evening. Then when DH goes to bed, I have to start cleaning up, washing dishes and making lunches. DH helps a tremendous amount, but we both have things to complete at night. So much for painting the hallway - that is a ways off.

any advice???


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Hello M-o-Ms! Anyone sick of snow and ice yet? What are you all doing with the kiddos to beat the winter blahs? We usually try to plan a little winter weekender somewhere in Feb. to get us through...This year looks like we'll be heading to the Kalahari indoor waterpark. Should be fun to see the youngest enjoy the water!


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3tammuz* 
Wow - it is Feb. already. I feeling over-worked. My baby will ONLY sleep in someone's arms. He has yet to take to the Kozy carrier or wrap. I am working on getting the correct size pouch. I am hoping that will help asI get NOTHING done each evening. Then when DH goes to bed, I have to start cleaning up, washing dishes and making lunches. DH helps a tremendous amount, but we both have things to complete at night. So much for painting the hallway - that is a ways off.

any advice???









I understand how you feel. I use a ringsling which I prefer over a pouch since you can adjust it to any size, use the tail to cover cold wind, rain, sun, to nurse, etc. We use a zolo and I love it. It helps me get a lot of things done around the house. How old is your babe? Congrats, too!







:

So mamas, I have a question...

Those of you w/ a lot close in age (mine are 7, 5, 4, almost 3 and 6 weeks today) how do you make friends?? I am so lonely since we moved (which is why i'm on mdc waaaay too much







) and have no IRL friends. I feel having this many babes so young and homeschooling prevents me from having friends and being able to do many "normal" parenting things (like attend playgroup, go to fun classes, heck even shopping at a store!) Anyone kwim? For example..when we moved I stayed away from the local MDC playgroup b/c I knew my tribe was active and overwhelming for others. I attended twice (once a few weeks before babe was born and the other and last time was when babe was 2 weeks old). Now the playgroup is talking about "too many kids" and "hectic" and "playgroup for little ones only" talk. I feel it is b/c of us and just knew it would happen







I just don't know how to socialize my babes with others and not make the whole crowd wish we didnt' attend. *sigh* We also kept up w/ a homeschool group b/c I know that they are able to handle spirited school age kids (and boys at that) easier than mamas who only have one young child. So far that has gone really well (we have yet to attend w/ our babe tho) and it's once a week. Now I feel really self conscious b/c what if people there think we are too much to handle and making the group too crowded?? Ugh! I had such an amazing group before we moved and this was never an issue. It was wonderful to find friends who had spirited kids and lots of them and understood. To not worry and relax with my children for once, just be ourselves and not have to apologize or get after them, etc all the time. I am SO sad to be and feel so alone.

So how do you all do it? How do you let your children play w/ others and make it work? I don't have school to take my kids during the day (which I know would make life a lot easier..but we homeschool and we love it) and dp works days now and so we can't do what we used to a few years ago. (I would take the one or two to age appropriate things like preschool class, library storytime, playgroups, etc and the others would do something w/ dad). I don't have close friends to drop them off with like we used to, I don't have family close enough to help w/ this either. I just feel like b/c we chose to have a large family and homeschool that we in turn "chose" to have no friends and not be able to attend anything. I suppose it is something I have to realize and come to terms with and just be happy in my own world, alone.







: I think I'll tell the MDC playgroup we're not attending anymore so they can go back to normal and relax at their get togethers....


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Lemon Juice







I only have 2 with me during the day and I feel only a tiny bit of what you are feeling. We don't go to school either so with dd who is about to turn 6 and a 2yo we don't go to any little people things at all because dd1 isn't welcome.

One of the best things for us about home schooling is that I can take them both to any homeschool groups and they can meet children of all different ages without anyone thinking it is odd or wrong to have big and little people all mixed up.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

so......can we talk "family bed?"

Anyone here have one? How to you juggle? How many are in the family bed?

we set up a family bed, but I am not sure it is working. My 5 yr old totally feels that he NEEDS to sleep with us. (And most nights that means he is waking me up trying to get on the queen bed with dh and baby and I. That doesnt work.) I think my 3 yr old would be fine in a room on her own but I have been enjoying her snuggleyness...and I am not sure how the 1 yr old would fare in another bed, as I have never tried it yet.

Dh snores loudly, waking up the kids, and the 12 mo old wakes up occasionally making baby noise which also wakes the kids up. and then everyone wakes up everyone else...

???







:

Bedtime is quite an act around here and I was just wondering if you all could describe what your nighttime looks like.

We are doing bed at like 6 PM also-thats really really hard!!!- because I cannot figure out how to get the kids to nap, and from 3 PM till 6 PM they are so tired they just throw fits all freaking day.

I know they wont be little for long.







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## Mama~Love (Dec 8, 2003)

Naps - nonexistant here, except for the youngest; she will occasionally nap in the afternoon. The 4 youngest (ages 9, 6, 4, & 2) start getting ready for bed at 7. This is clean-up time, get pajamas on, go potty, etc. Depending on the day, I may read a story, but usually they go straight to bed after a ton of hugs & kisses.

Now, if they would only stay there







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Usually, the 6 & 4 yr old end up coming into our room sometime in the night. If they 2 yr old wakes up, I nurse her in the recliner & end up falling asleep there. Once in awhile, the 9 yr old will come in our bed too.

I probably just jinxed myself typing this, but the 6 & 4 yr olds have been sleeping in their rooms all night for the past 5 nights!! It's been very nice, but I've been restless & tossing & turning all night.

Figures.


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

Going to bed is actually pretty swell around here. Thankfully! Our 7 and 5 yr old share a room. Our almost 3 yr old ended up moving in with them b/c she was ready to leave and have her own bed. We still co-sleep w/ our 4 yr old son b/c he's not ready to leave and he won't go to sleep and will party all night if he's not in our bed. We also co-sleep w/ our baby. BUT dp sleeps on the couch. He snores SO loud and figures he gets out of diaper duty.

We had an easy transition into a bedroom for our older ones. We do baths anywhere from 6:30-7pm. We get dressed and let them run around and burn off the bath time energy and play. When they are all dressed we gather into our family bed and read stories. Dp will do it or I will, the other cleans up (dishes, living room, laundry, etc We call it "bath or clean up" and pick). After stories we do potty, teeth, tuck in. I put the baby down and our 4 yr old in my room. The other 3 go into their room. We are usually done before 8:30pm and on a good night by 8pm they are all fast asleep







The 4 yr old will go to sleep by himself in my bed too, luckily, so I take a shower or can go downstairs w/ dp to relax or put babe down there. But if he's w/ his brothers all hell breaks loose!


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

subbing

Lemon Juice, I know what you mean about having trouble connecting w/others when you have all the kids w/you. Mine do go to school, so my situation is a lot different, but there are times when I am in the same boat. When we go to church for example. I joined this great UU church in the hopes of making some new connections & developing more of a community, but when we are there I am so busy managing the kids that I don't get a chance to talk to anyone and I cannot attend a lot of the things that interest me due to childcare. What works for us is to have one on one playdates/get togethers, as opposed to playgroups (since we just overwhelm the whole group, and it ends up no fun for any of us). If we can spend the time outdoors, even better. HTH.


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## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Hi MoMs!

I am trying to get a handle on what "normal" is for a food budget with a family of 6. Do you mind sharing?


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
Hi MoMs!

I am trying to get a handle on what "normal" is for a food budget with a family of 6. Do you mind sharing?

We spend around $160--200/week on groceries for a family of 6.


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## SamuraiMom (Nov 7, 2006)

Hi everyone, just chiming in on the family bed. We actually have 2 beds now. We just could not fit 6 in a king size comfortably. So Ds/1 sleeps w/ DH and the girls and DS/2 sleep w/ me and we take turns as to which bed we sleep in. It's sort of unspoken, because both beds are so comfy. But I am getting to the point where I would love for everyone to sleep in their own beds and I am having a hard time w/ that old mantra "it will not always be this way"







! There is a king our room and the queen is in the boys room. All I long for is a full nights sleep, but baby won't have it! He is up randomly and since he is, I think the last, I am enduring!


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

He Lemon Juice,

I think we've met IRL a few months ago.

I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. A few weeks ago DH and I were thrilled to be invited to another family's house for dinner. We also recently moved and are eager to recreate a warm, loving circle of friends. A few days before the dinner the mom called me and oh so gently suggested that I leave the two little kids at home. Even though her daughter and the other couple's daughter would be participating in the evening, they were quiet girls (the ages of my two oldest boys) used to going out with their parents.

I'm all for nights out without kids, and and I love family broohahas but I was astonished that this other mom would ask me to bring only 1/2 my kids. Of course I would understand if it were, for example, a birthday party or something similar for her child, but this was billed as a family night.

I told her I'd see, and then sat back in astonishment. She callde back the next day and apologized and re-invited the whole gang. She said her husband was aghast and the more she thought about it the sillier her request seemed. WE all went and had a great time and joked about how overwhelming a big family must be, etc.

I don't consider my family a big family but it is around here (there are one or two families of 5 and 6 kids but I don't know them). It seems people here generally have one or two children within 2.5 years of each other and that's that. So once they are through the baby and toddler phases they want playmates for their older children but they don't want to be bothered with little kids. Likewise, when they have only babies they are aghast at the energy, needs and noise that go with kids ages 5-8.

So no solutions here. But a nod of sympathy.

I wish you lived closer to us!


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## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Once we had the triplets I thought we'd never get a social invitation again . . . . . I can empathize with social issues - that is for sure!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

you know, the more I think "I dont have a large family, with only 3 kids" the more i realize that most people have 2 or less kids (At least -of the young ages that mine are.) Larger familys around here are generally *older* familys with *older* kids. (Often the result of combining "yours mine and ours"














But I actually do have a hell of alot of work to do with just 3 kids and I am only now realizing that.







:

I love my family.

And to me, its freaking overwhelmingly large.


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## aishy (Dec 13, 2001)

I consider our family medium sized, but many is definitely descriptive ; ) So I thought I would jump in here! I've got 5 - ages 10, 8, 6, 3, and 8 months. We homeschool two of them and I totally relate with not knowing where we fit in best - There are homeschool things for the olders I can't take them to because of the littles, and playgroup things for the littles I don't go to because of the older ones. There is plenty in between too, but it is hard knowing how much my kids are missing out on because we can't always do it all. It is nice when we do things with the Catholic homeschool group because everyone has lots of kids, all different ages, so they just expect it!!!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

We have snow! About 5 inches! I can't believe it. It is my ds2's 12th birthday today and school was closed so he has had a whale of a time







The snow is the kind which is great for making snowmen from, unlike the stuff we usually get which falls and melts or turns to ice.

We are having his favourite dinner of lasagne followed by a coffee and walnut cake and ice cream. Sometimes he seems to have very old fashioned tastes!

I've managed to get some sewing in this week which has calmed my antsiness a bit and both recipients of new garments are happy with them which is always a bonus.

Another good thing is that my little cousin is getting married at last. The slightly worse news is that the ceremony is at his barracks (he's a Captain in the army) which is the Tower of London, as in where they keep the Crown Jewels, and starts at 4pm on the day.







: The yikes is because it is a no children affair and who can you leave 4 children with from early morning on a Saturday until very late on a Saturday night? Only my mum but she will be there too. Dh has manfully said that much as he would like to get into his smart suit or even dinner jacket and bow tie (which he looks gorgeous in







) he will stay at home with everyone so I can go with my mum.

Mum called today to say she was lying awake last night wondering what would be the best thing to do and said why don't we stay overnight in London instead of coming home late on the train. I want to go and I want to accompany my mum as her dp won't go BUT this will be my first night away from dh and the children EVER.

I'm not worried about them managing but it will be soooo odd and a bit lonely just the two of us. Having the crowd means you always have someone doesn't it?


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## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Luckily I have a best friend with four boys so we're not overwhelming to her! My other best friend with four kids moved across the country this week!!!








We do miss out on a lot of invitations from our other friends (all of the ones with two kids) who go rent houses together and go camping together. I think we overwhelm them.

We spend about $200-250 per week on food. That's almost entirely organic.

My littlest- 20 months- has had three full nights of sleep in his crib! My work is paying off. It's incredible! Co sleeping was NOT working for this one- he was up all night crying, kicking me, hitting me, it was miserable. I don't hear a peep from him and he wakes up happy!







:


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## dkenagy (Jun 25, 2004)

Can I join in here? I only have 4 kids so far, but people stare and ask inappropriate questions and behave as though we had 20 kids. Mine are close in age; 5, 4, 2, and 8 months. We are so lucky to have a great group to meet with; it's actually the local La Leche League group. There are several moms that homeschool and there are 5 of us who have 4 kids. We have the regular meeting one Thursday a month and there is a playgroup of some sort on all the other Thursdays, so we can at least get out of the house and socialize once a week.


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

Hi,

I was wondering as I was putting out dinner tonight how others actually serve dinner. I'm trying to find a better, more relaxing, more cooperative way to handle the actual serving.

I usually do it either by plating everyone up (including cutting up things for the two littles) and bringing the plates, filled cups of milk, etc to the table (the two bigs help with this and Dh helps with everything) or by putting everything on the table (which is easier in some ways but leads to more unwelcome discussion over what and how much everyone is eating and more clean up after dinner.) It usually depends on what is being served and what kind of hurry I am in.

As I write this I realize it seems painfully mundane. But no matter what approach I take it is a bit chaotic and stressful. I have found a way to really enjoy cooking, etc. but those last 7 minutes before dinner actually starts have got to become more manageable.

Anyone? Or have I just written the longest post on the dullest subject ever?


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## mataji4 (Sep 28, 2006)

Dd sets the table a bit before dinner is ready. Nobody is allowed in the kitchen until I ring the bell, then they wash hands so I have another minute to ready everything. They sit, I make their plates. I ask Dh or another child to get water for everyone. Then we eat. Dinner isn't terribly peaceful, as everyone is vying for dad's attention (he gets home just before dinner), and someone often ends up in a time out. It's hard to remain peaceful when you have fighting boys or a whiny daughter!

My kids have always gotten along well together, until the last month or so and my boys (10 and 5) are just at each other's throats- hitting, chasing, threatening, teasing- it's awful!!! Any ideas??


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## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

Dinner here- I make up the plates for the los and sometimes for the others too depends on what we're having and how tired I am.Dh brings the plates to the table and calls each child as their food is placed (youngest to oldest) then I fix my plate and dh gets his and we sit.Usually we bring the cups and milk to the table to pour and refill during dinner.

When each person is done they are responsible for bringing their plate/utls/cup to the sink- if they are old enough (7 & up) they wash their own dish.We got one of those wands that hold dishsoap so it makes it easier on us all.We take turns on who washes the pots/pans between the 10 and ups.Sometimes they are already done because I'll have washed as I cooked.

Some days it goes smoothly others not so much! Just depends on everyones moods and the willingness of the los to eat- they can be picky and very slow eaters.

m4- could your boys be getting cabin fever? Do they get breaks from each other- like sleep overs at friends or relatives? My kids get this way when they have spent too much time together and need to just be alone- they may not know or agree w/this but its what I've noticed w/them. Even just separating them to different areas of the house w/activites for each to do helps.
As for the physical stuff we don't allow it and when it starts they kids involved all get time outs for the older ones this may involve doing a chore they don't normally do or being in their room until they can change their behavior and decided to follow the rules. If it keeps up after consequences and they just seem to be wound up and they are driving me batty I send them out side to cool off (if its cold out) or run it off they have to stay out there until I see they are calming down.Don't worry if its cold I don't make them stay out there too long and usually the cold air helps to calm them down quicker.Body using more energy to keep warm!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

orangefoot, have you considered PMing knittinanny? (or whatever the username is?) She's in London, and I know she was looking for babysitting.

SuzieK, I plate for everyone and they get their own seconds if they want it. And there is any. Usually there isn't.

m4







IME, 10yo boys are a handful in and of themselves.


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## hippiemommaof4 (Mar 31, 2008)

reguarding size discussions...lol I have almost 5 and I know its a lot of kids lol it really is, the average amt of kids per household is like 2.5 so yeah lol. People usually stare at us and their ages dont help us in that aspect. My oldest just turned 6 jan 25th and the 5th is coming here in a couple weeks lol so 5 ages 6 and under. It's pretty funny.This lady told us once we remind her of jon and kate plus 8 lol I didnt know if I should be offended or not lol ...we have 3 less kids than they do and I def dont act like kate lol







.


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suziek* 
He Lemon Juice,

I think we've met IRL a few months ago.

I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. A few weeks ago DH and I were thrilled to be invited to another family's house for dinner. We also recently moved and are eager to recreate a warm, loving circle of friends. A few days before the dinner the mom called me and oh so gently suggested that I leave the two little kids at home. Even though her daughter and the other couple's daughter would be participating in the evening, they were quiet girls (the ages of my two oldest boys) used to going out with their parents.

I'm all for nights out without kids, and and I love family broohahas but I was astonished that this other mom would ask me to bring only 1/2 my kids. Of course I would understand if it were, for example, a birthday party or something similar for her child, but this was billed as a family night.

I told her I'd see, and then sat back in astonishment. She callde back the next day and apologized and re-invited the whole gang. She said her husband was aghast and the more she thought about it the sillier her request seemed. WE all went and had a great time and joked about how overwhelming a big family must be, etc.

I don't consider my family a big family but it is around here (there are one or two families of 5 and 6 kids but I don't know them). It seems people here generally have one or two children within 2.5 years of each other and that's that. So once they are through the baby and toddler phases they want playmates for their older children but they don't want to be bothered with little kids. Likewise, when they have only babies they are aghast at the energy, needs and noise that go with kids ages 5-8.

So no solutions here. But a nod of sympathy.

I wish you lived closer to us!

Thanks, mama







I wish you lived near us too! Where are you? We are in New England. I spied a mama kinda near me that has 5 kids on diaperswapper


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *3tammuz* 
Wow - it is Feb. already. I feeling over-worked. My baby will ONLY sleep in someone's arms. He has yet to take to the Kozy carrier or wrap. I am working on getting the correct size pouch. I am hoping that will help asI get NOTHING done each evening. Then when DH goes to bed, I have to start cleaning up, washing dishes and making lunches. DH helps a tremendous amount, but we both have things to complete at night. So much for painting the hallway - that is a ways off.

any advice???









That sounds frustrating. I would probably keep trying different types of carriers.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
Hi MoMs!

I am trying to get a handle on what "normal" is for a food budget with a family of 6. Do you mind sharing?

We spend $200 every two weeks. That doesn't include any household stuff. I'm a super bargain shopper and we have a surplus outlet with great deals on organics.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 
We have snow! About 5 inches! I can't believe it. It is my ds2's 12th birthday today and school was closed so he has had a whale of a time







The snow is the kind which is great for making snowmen from, unlike the stuff we usually get which falls and melts or turns to ice.

They actually ran a story on NPR this week about snow in the UK!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suziek* 
Hi,
I was wondering as I was putting out dinner tonight how others actually serve dinner. I'm trying to find a better, more relaxing, more cooperative way to handle the actual serving.

Mostly, we plate. All our silverware is in a basket, so someone slaps that on the table. It's divided in half, and then one half is divided into thirds. So the thirds have spoons, knives, and forks, and the other side, everyone has a special napkin ring and a cloth napkin. I replace the napkins as they get gunky. Anyway, I yell "GET A PLATE!!!" and they all do, even the one year old, which is very sweet.







The plates are in a low cabinet in the hutch. I always forget to get drinks, so that's my waterloo.









It was good to find you all! I always lose this thread.









We're doing well. Well, I'm sick as a dog with a cold. I actually stayed in bed all day and the kids ran wild. DH was at church since it's Sunday and he's the pastor. My 9 and 6 year old did a fabulous job keeping an eye on the 1 and 5 year olds, and I was awake so everyone wandered in and out.

My 9-year-old is turning 10 on the 17th! We can't have his party until the 22nd. I've always avoided "venue" parties, but a skating party for 15 kids is $100, and all I have to bring is cake and drinks and some snacks. I figure I will actually end up spending less than I would for a pizza party, pinata, etc.

We only do parties when they turn 1, 7, 10, 13, 16, 18. Even that seems like too much. I have some friends who do parties every year! It's craziness.

How do you all handle birthdays? We celebrate birthdays, baptismal anniversaries and name days (patron saints feast days) so it seems like I am always baking a cake for something. Which sort of sucks now that I'm on Weight Watchers, LOL! Anyone have a healthy cake recipe?


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

For your reading pleasure, here is this from today's New York Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/fa...html?_r=1&8dpc

You were in the Styles section, ladies. And families with 4 count as over large, according to the article, so I'm in!!!!!

Also worth reading, if only marginally related:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/op...amidon.html?em
chttp://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/fashion/08halfmill.html?em


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I love this:

Quote:

How can you afford so many? "Lifestyles are expensive, not kids."

Don't you know what causes that? "Oh, yes, I now wash my husband's underwear separately."

Do you get any time for yourselves? "Obviously, or we wouldn't have six kids."


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

HI all! I've finally remembered to look for the MoM's board









It's only a week past the beginning of the month. Things were nuts here (when are they not?) I'm due in four weeks, but honestly I'm begging God to start labor early lol! I've never had one earlier than a week past due, so I know i just have this to deal with for a while. the kids are doing awesome with it, and such big helps. Mostly







I'm a lil irritated because hey, I'm the stay at home mom and EVERY schooled friend we have expects me to babysit when they are out of school. Well, someone just emailed to ask if I'd watch their child during spring break....KNOWING that I'm due the week before. Are they insane?

I have no advice on sleeping, it's been so long since I've had a lil baby that I'm a little freaked out about starting over again. Okay, a LOT freaked out. Avari has just started sleeping through the night. The family bed is doing a lot better, because they all start off in their own bed, at least, and then Ava and Dan migrated up sometime in the middle of the night about every three or four days.

We have a family of nine, we usually spend about $400 at the beginning of the month, and then another $100 each week for fast consumables. although we just blew an extra $300 buying grill out stuff for our teens birthday today. Teens eat a LOT. And six eat even more. holy cow! (seriously 24 burgers, plus a whole bowl of queso and chips?) We also have food allergies, so sometimes we spend more stocking up on wheat-free or corn free snacks. We have another birthday party at the END of February as well so it added up.

We just got rid of our ice (nope, Oklahoma does not usually get snow. Just sleet, hail and ice) Our house faces north, which means that we usually have five or six feet of ice that stays in the shade and takes two weeks to thaw lol. Hope you guys are enjoying the snow, we love the pictures from BBC.

Dinner in our house is usually all the food on the cabinet we call the peninsula. It would be an island but it's butted up against the wall by the stove to make the kitchen entrance more accessible to large numbers of kids. We spread it out with plates, utensils and napkins, call everyone in, help the littles to the extent that they need it (and Dan, 5yo, insists he does not need help, Ava, 3yo is getting there!) Everyone carries their own plate to the table, and everyone except Ava (who can't reach the sink faucet) is responsible for scraping their plate, rinsing it and putting it in the dishwasher. We don't usually serve drinks with dinner, but everyone has their water cups in the kitchen.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We finally have baby #5 in our arms! Lucius was born Monday the 2nd, our 4th son.







:


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Oh, congratulations on your new little one!


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

congrats!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Congratulations DiD!







:

and welcome Multimomma


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

Congrats mama!!!







:


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

*Got a sick day...go ahead and call in!!







*

annettemarie, I had the flu this past week as did the kids. I know how you felt! But of course by the time it was bad for me they were feeling better! I layed in the bed on Friday and they ran wild downstairs. I kept the newborn in bed w/ me, of course, but it's awful to be so sick w/ so many!! (or any, really!)

I had the 7 yr old helping a lot but if they weren't getting over the flu (and still not "themselves") they would have destroyed this place. What do you all do when this happens? I'm up there w/ a high fever in tears b/c I need help and have none







I really feel awful in those situations b/c it's NOT safe for me to be so out of it sick and have them fend for themselves. What do you all do when sick?? (dp couldn't call in b/c he used up so many days the week before and last week b/c he knocked his tooth out)

I feel like he gets so many days off per year, sick days, personal days, etc. Don't I have the right to take a few as well for when the caretaker of our children is sick?! ie: Me! Shouldn't we use some of those days to plan the "what if" for when mama gets sick? Why should they only be his sick days? Am I right to think I should talk to him about it? He took off SO many days for his tooth when he didn't need to...but when I needed him home b/c I was so sick it was "sorry. don't know what to tell ya."







:


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

LemonJuice - sounds like you need some re-negotiation of how to budget for the rest of his sick and personal days. Do say something and don't let it fester.

My dh works in our own business so he is very flexible but even when he went to work in a normal place he used to tell them that one of us was ill or needed taking to the dentist or other appointments so he couldn't come in. He stared down the folks who said they didn't see why as the children weren't biologically his







:


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## mclisa (Jul 26, 2004)

Orangefoot! What a cool wedding that will be. Go with your mum and stay overnight. Your kids will enjoy having just dad.

dh is the sah parent so if he is sick, I have to take off work. Someone has to take care of the kids.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yeah. There is a level of illness where the WOH parent needs to recognise the need to act.


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Welcome to the world baby Lucius!
Dinner at our house is actually a bit calmer now that the oldest is away at college. I just find it easier to make a plate for everyone and set them on the table and yell "come 'n get it". They get their own drinks and utensils. The kids each have 2 assigned "dish" nights, so they clean up...(then of course, I clean up after them)lol


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## waldorfknitmama (Sep 16, 2007)

Okay M-o-M. . . Hey!! You guys rock! I so want want to be a M-o-M but I'm a Mom Of Mini. . . I only have 2!! Hehe, but I go back and forth on how many more, if there will be more but in the mean time I will be lurking and reading about all your busy and adventurous lives!!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I get to go and play with Orangefoot today




























:


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I'm so jealous! I totally need to move to England.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Oh! England! I wanta go too!


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

How do you guys 'do' pregnancy with a gang of kids? I'm due in three more weeks, and I'm just so tired and sore from ligaments that my poor kids are self-entertaining, self-educating, self-feeding lately. Thankfully I have a 14 yo who's great with lil ones, and my 10 yo LOVES to cook, so she is helping a lot. But I feel guilty enough to tell dh I'm done, even though it flies in the face of everything we believe in.

Just tell me I'll be back to normal in a month!


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## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

multimomma- I hear you soooo much.I'm due begining of April! And some days its all I can do to get the two little girls out the door for school and then feed ds4 breakfast! Luckily I have a 14 and 15 yo that can do this for themselves! Some days I look at my house right before dh gets home a thimk I've got nothing to show for the day and then there re some that I actually get alot done. Mydd15 is always looking ofr ways to make money so I've started to use this and make her do the icky things- like the dishes when they get too bad (we have no dw) or cleaning the bathroom.

my saving grace is I keep reminding myself it will be done soon and I will be more back to normal. So I'll tell you the same It will be done soon and soon you'll have your body back- well maybe not your breasts but at least walking, standing, bending over will be possilbe! Till then a big hug and I'll send you some energy for today. I've got extra and got aot of errands run today!


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Thanks Fairy. I've just never felt this bad during a pregnancy! With Ava i was on bedrest for a month or so, but even then I had LOTS of energy and no pain, and we even homeschooled in my bedroom for months.

LOL! I haven't had my breasts back in years...so I can cope with that


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

We'd love to see you all!









The last time I saw Flapjack, River was a bump and now he's a gorgeous boy! Skye was a small girl and now she is a bigger girl with a lovely smile. We really shouldn't leave it so long!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

We definitely shouldn't







It was lovely, and your girls are lovely little people. Skye has declared that Amelia is one of her bestest friends and your soup was delicious. She said that, too


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I might be crazy.

I am going shopping at 3 stores this morning to try on clothes with my 5, 3, and 1 yr olds.

I might need a drink around 10 am.

maybe I should just start drinking now. LOL.

I really want to find a hot dress for my date with dh tonight.


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Shopping is easier than hanging out at home...at least when we're out the littles aren't wrecking the house.


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## ~*max*~ (Dec 23, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I might be crazy.

I am going shopping at 3 stores this morning to try on clothes with my 5, 3, and 1 yr olds.

I might need a drink around 10 am.

maybe I should just start drinking now. LOL.

I really want to find a hot dress for my date with dh tonight.

Not crazy, BRAVE! I hope you find a great dress! Can't wait to hear all about it.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I might be crazy.

I am going shopping at 3 stores this morning to try on clothes with my 5, 3, and 1 yr olds.

I might need a drink around 10 am.

maybe I should just start drinking now. LOL.

I really want to find a hot dress for my date with dh tonight.

I can totally out-crazy you. Baby #5 was just born. Last night we talked about #6.







:


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

$16.

Dress $6 (really hot mini dress)

Earrings $4

Braclets $4








:

it rocked.

So did our date. Shopping was pretty good too.







:


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

sounds like a great day...


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Lydia, who won the discussion???? I thought you were joining me in the "it hurts, never again/you're doing the next pregnancy" camp???

Transformed, I'm glad you're happy


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Lydia, who won the discussion???? I thought you were joining me in the "it hurts, never again/you're doing the next pregnancy" camp???

We're planning #6 for the 12-month break I'll have between finishing my pre-requisites and starting the Nursing program.

I guess I must have amnesia. I can't remember how much it sucked to be pregnant anymore.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Yeah, I know.


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## ~bookcase~ (Apr 10, 2007)

ooo, i'm happy to find this thread









i'm in the UK with six homeschooled children (well, two babies, so just 4 needing more than b'milk and peek a boo atm







)

i spend around £100 a week on shopping for mine. trying to do a co op order once every month or two to stay out of the chainstores.

during my last pregnancy my eldest did sooooo much for me (dh moved out at my request and is still out of the house atm, but hoping for reconciliation at some point) and the younger ones also learnt a few tasks. it was actually a good thing that life got so hard with the pregnancy (and still is a challenge 4 months after birth) because otherwise i think they would miss out on learning some precious skills for life, kwim? i feel guilty for anything they join in/ help with, (i wasn't allowed to do stuff around the home growing up) but i'm also convinced that working together is what makes a family close and successful.

i've always unschooled and been very relaxed with my children, but now we are moving towards a lot more routine. that used to be my Bad Word







but the changes are feeling good to all of us.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

sigh...

We are invited to a birthday party today. From 1-4. Its for a 5 yr old, but I so dont want to go because my 3 yr old starts melting down around 12:30 (but wont take a nap) and the second half of our day is usually shot by that.

I especially dontt want to go and have to stay till 4 because thats when they decide to have cake and ALL my kids are melting down at the time its time to go. (My 5 yr old also needs a nap but refuses one.)

Sigh Sigh Sigh.


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## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

Hello MOMS- I posted a topic on my dd club thread sort of about this but not exactly and wanting to know what other MOMs think/have to say about this.

The topic- Health care providers and treating you like you are inexperienced w/pg and parenting. Ex. I had my mw appt yesterday and left feeling like I was stupid and inexperienced and that everything I brought up to help/be involved in my own care was disregarded.This isn't the first time I've experienced it or the only place- I get it often at the peds office too or at childrens' schools.

I don't know if they just don't look at the records to see that I've got plenty of experience or if it is just an attitude that lots of medical personal have or if they just look at me and since I look so young they assume I am inexperienced.

It just frustrates me that my voice goes unheard and/or is dismissed.I don't know really how to handle it either- my first instinct is to find new providers (usually after this situation happens a few times) ones that I can work with not just feel that I am being managed.Should I talk to them first or agian in some instances or look for different care?

What have you done in this circumstance?If it's happened to you.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Fairy - I find that more with just people in public - they think its my first pregnancy and assume I have no idea whats going on. LOL.

I have a question too!

What do you do about birthday partys...being invited to them...We were invited to a party that was in the afternoon the other day and I didnt even go because its such a volitile time (naptime!) to be out at a party.

I get scared to go out sometimes. LOL

Do you somehow just grin and bear it? Or have a plan of exit?

I didnt see any way to go for just a couple of hours because people seem to always drag the darn thing out where you HAVE to stay the whole 4 hours to eat cake.







:


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fairymom* 

I don't know if they just don't look at the records to see that I've got plenty of experience or if it is just an attitude that lots of medical personal have or if they just look at me and since I look so young they assume I am inexperienced.

Oh, it's just the attitude. Our whole society has the attitude, well, you can't know anything unless you've got a degree for it. You can't teach someone unless you're certified. You can't heal someone unless you have a degree. You can KNOW anything unless someone else taught it to you. It's part of a vast conspiracy...









If you LIKE the providers, say something. Get personal, talk about what you know, and preface it with "In my experience with my older children, I've seen.....", and suck up a bit so their egos can allow it "What do you think?" And finish up with "Thanks for the info, I'll think about it." It's annoying, but very rare to find a professional who can let ego go and be open to what other's know.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 

How do you all handle birthdays? We celebrate birthdays, baptismal anniversaries and name days (patron saints feast days) so it seems like I am always baking a cake for something. Which sort of sucks now that I'm on Weight Watchers, LOL! Anyone have a healthy cake recipe?

I'm quoting myself, because I'd love to know how you all handle celebrations.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

The days before birthdays take me right back to how each of them arrived.

We are preparing for 9 little people coming to a birthday party tomorrow as dd1 will be 6 at 8.12am. This time 8 years ago I was already in labour, excitedly expecting the arrival of a baby before midnight without too much trouble. 3rd time, what could be hard? I was still unaware that my waters were going to break with her head wedged on my hip not anywhere near my cervix and I'd end up transferring to hospital for the worst night of labour I've had.

None of my children are baptised and at least one doesn't have a saint's name so we only do birthdays and fortunately the boys are past having lots of friends for parties and creating havoc. Now they just want their favourite dinner and a cake at home. So far with the girls we are still at the cake and dancing stage without too many expectations. I bake a tried and tested one layer square cake which can be cut and eaten easily but iced with crazy colours or cut into other shapes too. I just can't do amazing cakes that look like castles or fairy princesses!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We usually do small birthday celebrations at home with a few close friends and family members. A few gifts, cake and ice cream, a pinata or games or something and it's all over in a couple of hours.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Annettemarie, a boxed cake mix made with diet soda is 1/2 weightwatchers point per serving, apparently. I realise it isn't food, exactly, but if weightwatchers is like slimming world then a lot of the things that go into your mouth are likely to be chemistry not cookery. Other than that, I'd look at doing a pile of cupcakes rather than a big cake, a pile of profiteroles rather than a pile of cupcakes (even less points and a smaller serving portion) or even breaking with tradition and decreeing that baptismal anniversaries and saints days don't score cake.







I do have a slimming world friendly carrot cake recipe as well.
Happy birthing day, Orangefoot! You're still my hero for getting her out at all.

Fairymom, I speak up. I'm part of the local NHS patient participation programme and heavily involved in the National Childbirth Trust, so I'm pretty sure that somewhere in my medical records is the code "careful what you say to this one, she WILL moan otherwise." I don't know what it is, but it's in there.
Transformed, I'd either go or find someone to take my kid. Most likely, at 5, I'd tell the hostess that DD would love to come but it's a bad time for the little ones, how would she feel if you didn't stay? Over here, 5 is right on the cusp of going to birthday parties by oneself.
Shukr, where are you? There's a few brits on the MoM thread at the moment.


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

:

Looks like I'm back in the game!

We are not telling people until as late as possible, mainly because we want our kids to be the first to know and want to wait until at least 12 weeks to do that.

But I get to tell you!

I'm filled with enormous happiness, and peace. We'd been hoping since our baby was a year but after 18 months and a brief experience with Chlomid and infertility medicine, we are finally expecting again.

I feel so lucky.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Flapjack, thanks for the tip! I'm going to make one of those for myself and my MIL tomorrow, and buy a regular cake for everyone else.

Congrats, suiek! That's so exciting!

I'm nak right now, but really would like to pick some of your brains about our housing situation. Three bedrooms, two grown ups, 1 girl, 3 boys.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

quick Q: what qualifies one to be a MoM? i have 4 sons.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suziek* 







:

Looks like I'm back in the game!

We are not telling people until as late as possible, mainly because we want our kids to be the first to know and want to wait until at least 12 weeks to do that.

But I get to tell you!

I'm filled with enormous happiness, and peace. We'd been hoping since our baby was a year but after 18 months and a brief experience with Chlomid and infertility medicine, we are finally expecting again.

I feel so lucky.

Congratulations! A new little life is always something to celebrate!







:







:

Your secret is safe here...on the net...for the world to see


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PassionateWriter* 
quick Q: what qualifies one to be a MoM? i have 4 sons.

I have always thought of "Many" to be four or more. But then again, I think there are some here with less.

I say, if you feel like you can contribute, or learn something, or even just enjoy being here, you fit in.


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## michray (Aug 11, 2003)

I have 4 and wondered if I qualified, too







It sure feels like it when we are trying to get out of the house or try to do something with other families.

And if you count DH and my two furbabies ( who are just as doted on as my other kids) I have seven, LOL!

I do have a question, though. I actually WANT more children most of the time, but DH is just flabbergasted at the idea. Anyone else with a DH who isn't happy with the idea of family expansion?


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## michray (Aug 11, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suziek* 







:

Looks like I'm back in the game!

We are not telling people until as late as possible, mainly because we want our kids to be the first to know and want to wait until at least 12 weeks to do that.

But I get to tell you!

I'm filled with enormous happiness, and peace. We'd been hoping since our baby was a year but after 18 months and a brief experience with Chlomid and infertility medicine, we are finally expecting again.

I feel so lucky.









: Congrats, Mama!! Blessings for a happy, healthy 9 mos!


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I'm nak right now, but really would like to pick some of your brains about our housing situation. Three bedrooms, two grown ups, 1 girl, 3 boys.

What kind of situation are you wondering about, exactly?

It depends a lot on the ages of the children, and the distinction of ages between the girl and boys.

I have no problem with boys and girls sharing rooms up till they get older. Like about 8 years old. (That seems to be the age that they start to want privacy.)

We have been in a three bedroom house and have a "boy's room", a "girl's room", and "parent's room". The youngest, up till they wean, sleeps in our room.

Even now we have a smaller house, though technically we have more than three bedrooms, one is an office and one is storage. So we really only utilize three for bedrooms (as divided above).

When the children were younger the boys and girls shared depending on ages. But now, my girls are the olders and my boys (except my oldest boy who comes before my youngest girl) are the youngers.

It goes girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy, boy.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kidzaplenty* 
I have always thought of "Many" to be four or more. But then again, I think there are some here with less.

I say, if you feel like you can contribute, or learn something, or even just enjoy being here, you fit in.









thanks. i guess i will join then, though most days i dont have much advice for families with "many" kids...mine are so spread out...18, 10 (almost 11), 3 and 4 months right now. im pretty sure we are done (like 99.99999%).


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

I am so excited to see this thread!

We are going from 3 to 5 come August.









Are there any other young MOM? Dh and I are 23


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suziek* 







:

Looks like I'm back in the game!

I feel so lucky.

Congrats







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PassionateWriter* 
quick Q: what qualifies one to be a MoM? i have 4 sons.

4 is good!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PassionateWriter* 
thanks. i guess i will join then, though most days i dont have much advice for families with "many" kids...mine are so spread out...18, 10 (almost 11), 3 and 4 months right now. im pretty sure we are done (like 99.99999%).

We are a bit spread out too with 15, 12, 6 and 2yo

Quote:


Originally Posted by *magstphil* 
I am so excited to see this thread!

We are going from 3 to 5 come August.









Are there any other young MOM? Dh and I are 23

Congratulations to you too!

I used to be young


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## suziek (Jun 4, 2004)

Yes, I used to be young too.

I'll be 42 when this babe comes.

23 is a great age to be a mom, and so is 42.

My mom was 25 when she had her four; I was still out in the world playing at that age.
Took me a while and the right person to want kids.

But I've made up for lost time.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

I started at 19 and I'm 35 now. We may have another though and I'm still waiting for my turn to go out in the world and play. I could be nearly 60 before everyone is on their way and self-sufficient at this rate.


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## PreggieUBA2C (Mar 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *THANKFULFORFIVE* 
We spend around $160--200/week on groceries for a family of 6.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *mataji4* 
We spend about $200-250 per week on food. That's almost entirely organic.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
We spend $200 every two weeks.


Ummmm...wow.

We spend $400 per week on groceries- just food. I buy bulk, unprocessed, organic when available. We eat a traditional european diet. When we eliminated the organics, we saved about $70 per week, but it wasn't worth it because nutrients were so lacking that we ended up spending money on supplements (not $70, but close) and the taste difference was severe. So we buy organic food.

Maybe it's just where we live, but to eat processed/prepared, chemical-laden foods, our bill would easily be cut in half. I'll be starting our very first garden this year, hoping to reduce our food budget a bit. That, and by autumn, dh will be able to hunt game, also reducing our food expenditure. I cannot imagine what the prices must be like to be able to feed so many with so little, even accounting for the difference in the dollar.

Right now, my biggest struggle by far is that I am with our dc 24/7 and in a cabin in the woods, isolated. My dh is gone about 50-60 or more hrs/wk. It's been like this for six years and I'm really beginning to doubt whether I am actually doing our dc any service by raising them as a non-human, vending machine. In my former life, I made art every day, had a few friends whom I actually saw, did things, went places, relaxed, digested my meals, read, had quiet and alone time, laughed and smiled a lot, could walk without being winded and didn't wish that I could allow myself to not compound my depression with feeling guilty for being depressed (because I wasn't).

After six years of having no indication of who I am, divesting of myself into all of the others in my home, dh included, fulfilling the role of someone I am not- a happy homemaker (I love my family; I am just definitely NOT Mrs. Cleaver), my health having declined to a point that I am at risk for multiple organ failure (chronic sleeplessness and too much work/stress and moving 8 times in 6 years, having an unaware dh who has been absorbed in his own pursuits and seems to think that what I experience is 'normal'







:, so hasn't been much of a help to me thus far, although he's made a commitment to take our dc out so I can have a break... we'll see if it happens more than once), I am weary and I need some encouragement because I cannot continue on like this. I mean cannot, not *will* not. I am so far past will that it isn't even an issue anymore. My blood pressure on a good day is 94/56; more stress=lower pressure=passed out with four small children alone in the woods.

So, I am here wondering if all you mamas have support, friends, family, or anyone who assists you in any way. Do your dhs work with you, look after the dc, take them out or stay in so you can go out? Are you all just the sort of people who are very naturally mums of many? Are you all extroverts (I am extremely introverted)? How do you manage? Is this just a very long and torturous phase I'm going through? Are all of your interests easily intertwined with family life?

I have a long list of interests, and as an introvert, not surprisingly, they are all things I like to do alone or beside, but not with, others. Doing them with others really ruins my enjoyment such that even though I could do some of them with for the sake of others, doing so wouldn't meet my needs, so I'd still be in a huge deficit. This is excruciating.







:

Sorry to spoil the thread; it was all so uplifting before I wrote this, but I don't know who else to ask. Anyone in my real life just figures I should suffer for what they perceive as my choice to have this many dc. I made my bed, is what my mum said (we don't talk anymore...)

It just doesn't seem from this thread at least that many of you are dealing with this. Are you?

ETA: To give you an idea of the resources that would be at my disposal based upon average number of children where I live, here are the figures from our 2006 census (the most recent):

Average number of children at home per family
Couple families 1.1
Married couples 1.0
Common-law couples 1.1
Single parent 0.8

There are no playgroups and no centres designed for families with children at all. If I wanted to have a group or a centre, I would have to start one myself and find people to come. We just moved here in September, and I don't have the energy to do what I wish I could with my dc as it is; I have nothing extra- I'm always ina deficit.


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## 1hautemama (Mar 5, 2006)

Yes mama, even w/ just my three, I feel under appreciated and isolated. My DH is a wonderfull man, but, he is an airline pilot and gets to leave regularly and gets long wonderfull layovers in places like Cancun, Aruba, Paris, etc. And sometimes I HATE when he calls from those destinations asking how I'm doing. Well, buddy, how the hell do you THINK I'm doing? I am changing endless dirty diapers, washing the laundry, picking up toys that will be strewn across the house in five minutes, I have not eaten a decent meal cos I scarf it down in two gulps, the babies won't nap at the same time so I never get to sit for morethan two minutes, everyone asks for everything at the same time, at rock concert decibels, Did I remember to brush my teeth this morning? when was the last time I got to use the loo w/ the door closed? I love my life, I really do







:, but, BUT, I am so very tired every day. Once in a while, it would be nice if DH took the kids, all of them, for three days straight, so I could go out and be foot loose and fancy free. But, i fear, I would miss them too much after a day. I would worry that no one knows but me how DD2 likes her cocoa, which she haves every night before bed, and DD3 has a bedtime routine that she and I have down pat as well...I guess what I want is what you want. A little appreciation, for the hard work it is we do, the sacrifices we make.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

Are there any other young MOM? Dh and I are 23
I'm 24 and dh is 29.


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## PassionateWriter (Feb 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *orangefoot* 

I used to be young









hahah! me too! now im wise.







(teasing). i had my first when i was 22 and i will be 41 in April. Zen was born last October (when i was obviously 40). i find my parenting much easier the older i am...but thats just me. when i was 22, i was in college, had life ahead of me and had to get through that, law school then gradulate school. it was sooo much busier then. im so much more relaxed now.

IRT food: i just joined the Feb. Frugal thread (or something like that) and i ahve been keeping our budget to around $150. that doesnt include raw milk, which is another $18 a week. it also doesnt include household cleaners, vitamins, etc. etc. b/c we get those from Frontier. We don't eat completely organic but mostly and we dont eat processed/chemically laden food. DS1 is out of the house now so its only teh 3 younger ones and the baby of course is not eating..my 3 yo doesnt consume that much.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PreggieUBA2C* 
Right now, my biggest struggle by far is that I am with our dc 24/7 and in a cabin in the woods, isolated.

So, I am here wondering if all you mamas have support, friends, family, or anyone who assists you in any way. Do your dhs work with you, look after the dc, take them out or stay in so you can go out? Are you all just the sort of people who are very naturally mums of many? Are you all extroverts (I am extremely introverted)? How do you manage? Is this just a very long and torturous phase I'm going through? Are all of your interests easily intertwined with family life?

There are no playgroups and no centres designed for families with children at all. If I wanted to have a group or a centre, I would have to start one myself and find people to come. We just moved here in September, and I don't have the energy to do what I wish I could with my dc as it is; I have nothing extra- I'm always ina deficit.









wow...thats a lot to deal with. isolation woudl kill me. seriously. i moved from boston to a semi-rural area where we have to drive to meet most ppl but we are w/in a few minutes drive of civilization at least. i couldnt be isolated.

we have no family support (locally) but we do have groups. we are just getting into unschooling and i have found an awesome group that meets weekly, and more often if one is so inclined (most of the time we are). i also have a few local friends that i speak to on a daily basis and we have libraries, etc. etc. that we can go to if no one else is available.

DP helps out with teh kids in the evenings/weekends but he doesnt take them places without me. we usually do things as a family. do you have that? what does your dh do when he's home? it sounds like he is your only outlet? what caused you to move so much? and to where you are now? is there anything about this situation you can change?

i dont go out. i usually dont want to go out alone. thats just me though and i think im probably in the minority there. i just prefer to be with my family. that may sound like i dont have a life or other interests, but i do. its kind of complex for me. lol!

honestly i would work on changing your environment. it doesnt seem like its a good one for you.







s.

have you had your mineral levels checked (just asking b/c you stated you are at a deficit..you could be in more ways than one..even if you are doing everything you think you should).

i hope things get better for you soon. thats just sounds so hard.


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## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

Lets see. I am 32 and dh is 29. I had my first lo at 16 almost 17 and 2nd at 18. 3rd at 22 and 4 th at 25 and 5th at 28.will still be 32 when this lo is born.So I was a young mom and still feel that way.Hard to believe I'm not and more in the average range now!

Food we spend any where between $600 and $700 a month for 7 people. Yeah here it is so much more cheaper to buy mainstream food than organic.And in the neighborhood I live in it hard to find too.We don't eat alot of organic but I do buy healthy and cook that way too.I know and wish we could do all organic or at least mostly but our food bill would probably double! We have a Whole Foods market about 30 mins away and a lot of great co-ops so I am trying (making it a goal to) cut down on our food Intake and be able to shop there mostly. I am making baby steps in this direction. We are planting a garden this year and so excited to do so.Hopefully this will help our food bill.

PreggieUBA2C- I can feel you.Even though I live in the city I often feel isolated.I am intorverted and shy w/new people. I don't have a lot of friends anymore. I used to be surrounded by women that "unconditionally" loved me but I found that if you made a decision that they thought was "wrong" that they thought it was best to ask you to leave the group.These are women I had known for years and suddenly none would talk to me because I made a decision they didn't like. So I am having a really hard time getting back otu there and making friends again- trust and hurt issues!

And as for feeling unapprieated by family live that way on a daily basis.Right now it feels worse because of pg hormones and being emotional.

I find just being on here helps to get me in a better place some days (other days there are thread I HAVE to stay away from because they just get me more bitter!) and Makes me want to go out IRL and find even just one momma like mefor a friend someone to talk too.Maybe you could start small and find one?

Have you tried telling Dh you need to start to pay attention to you more? Maybe you could tell him one night a week is youre night and you'll be going out just to get some time to recharge. Is there some place were they do book club or knitting or painting classes? Something You're interested in?

Good luck and I for one don't mind if you need to vent/cry if you feel the need.It's better to get it out!


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

PreggieUBA2C don't feel bad about making the thread something different. Some months it is more doom and desperation than others; you just caught us all on an up! I've been outdoors in the garden with some sun getting into my brain and that gives me a boost. Winter cold and grim and grey gets to me after a while I can tell you.

This is a good place to let all this out because we have all had days or weeks when we have felt some or all of how you are feeling and we won't tell you that you have made your bed....









The last time I spoke to my sister I tried to explain to her that even though we are conscious of the decisions we make (re work and family size especially) that doesn't mean we can never feel weak or upset or overwhelmed by our situation. She doesn't get it about her own situation or about mine









Is there any way you can influence your changes in location so that next
time it is to a less isolated place? What can you do to find a little bit of art every day? I don't get to sew as much as I'd like but lately I've been taking photos of things I like or postively looking for goodness to capture and I think that is stretching my 'art' muscle just a little bit when I can't actually do anything creative.

I'm sorry I can't help you in a real way but you will be in my thoughts mama.


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
I'm 24 and dh is 29.









:

The reason I asked wasn't to gloat or anything I just feel very alone being so young. So does DH. All our friends our age don't get why we have so many kids (and love it!) and so many of our older friends think we are nuts for starting out at 17.







To each their own, I say!









I still can't believe we are getting ready for 5. I'm actually really freaked out. I guess you really can't see how you are going to do it until you do it. I do need to get organized especially since we are getting started with homeschooling.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Orangefoot, is that an announcement?







:

PreggieUBA2C, as far as feeding your family goes, try and get your hands on the paupers cookbook by Jocasta Innes or even Frugal Food by Delia Smith. As far as nurturing your you-ness, though, I'm working slowly through the Artists Way and finding that helps and is challenging a lot of my assumptions. Something else that is striking me and keeps on coming home to me on a lot of blogs I enjoy reading is the need for a room of one's own. A space of one's own, maybe. A chair. I think it's worth thinking on. Oh, and I know that there is a point after childbirth where I'm ready to put my baby brain aside for a while and give my self some nurturing. I'm there now, and it's hard because my family isn't really in a place where I can take this time for me.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flapjack* 
Orangefoot, is that an announcement?







:

Um, no.









I hear you on the need for a space. Mine is the night-time rather than a physical space at the moment hence I'm here at 02.45.


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## michray (Aug 11, 2003)

Wow!!! It is a little sad and a little comforting to hear that I am not the only one who is feeling a little lost as far as fufilling ME! It has been me and the kiddos 24/7 for nearly 6 years, too. We have lived in places that just were not large family friendly or have moved and I haven't yet found new friends or ways to get out there with all of the kids.
I am so busy that I barely sleep, eat or get showers longer than 5 minutes.
Lately, DH has been taking the kids out a few hours on the weekend, which is great. LOL, unfortunately, I spend most of that time sewing or cleaning!

On the food, we spend right at $300 a week for 6 ppl. We buy some in bulk, as much organic as we can afford, but the milk and fruit are the major portions of our budget! We spend over $150 a week on fruit alone!


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## southernmommie (Jan 7, 2007)

Hi everyone. Can I join? I am currently expecting blessing #4. I am so excited. I want even more kids, but right now this is what I have!


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

*Preggie...*I'm glad you posted. It sounds so honest,and heart-felt







.
Many years ago, when my first 4 were small together, I often felt the same way. DH traveled a lot! I really felt like a single mom for many years and he missed out on so much! I was fortunate to find and make wonderful friends and neighbors though, so I think I would have been a nut-case if I had been isolated those years....My family is in such a different place now....DH is trying to make up for the lost years I guess. Wants more babies now! Life is good. more peaceful. We've learned so much about what's truly important. What does your hubby do that requires so many moves?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *southernmommie* 
Hi everyone. Can I join? I am currently expecting blessing #4. I am so excited. I want even more kids, but right now this is what I have!









Welcome!







Glad to have you join.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

I watched too much tv today. First I saw the Duggars bring home baby #18 and then I saw an episode of Kids By The Dozen with the awesome Heppner family with 16 children. I looked at my husband and said wistfully "I wish we had time to have that many."







:


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## southernmommie (Jan 7, 2007)

I remember watching the whole series Kids by the Dozen last year. I'm so glad it came back on. I DVR'd it this time so I can watch it whenever I need to. Now to find out how I can record it for myself.

I just bought The Duggars 20 and Counting. I started reading it yesterday. They have a lot of good ideas in that book.

I pray someday that I will have more kids after this upcoming baby. God willing.


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Are the Duggars really on kid #20???!!!Wow...the last I saw was still 17 and counting... They are just so amazing!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

20 is including mom and dad. They "only" have 18 children.









I'm having a lovely day where 4 kids doesn't seem like too many at all.


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## southernmommie (Jan 7, 2007)

Yeah, it's kid #18. If you get a chance to read it, do. It's good so far. I'm growing baby #4 and at times it seems overwhelming. But I'm glad I am blessed with one baby at a time so I can learn to handle that. LOL.


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## AllisonK (Feb 18, 2005)

Well here it is Feb and I am just popping in to this thread. I always seem to forget its here and then find a mention of it somewhere.









First off belated congrats to DID!!!!! I know its late but do you need anything? I wanted to bring you food but I suck when there are allergies involved and am always afraid I will accidentally use something with some unlabeled allergen.

We are busy here. Allthough this past week has been really quiet. The older two are at Grandmas since Monday. DH fell two and a half weeks ago hiking and had to have surgery on Tuesday to fix his broken nose. My mom offered to watch them and I just could not refuse.









I find myself wanting another one as Naomi nears her one year bday (3/2) makes me wonder if we got the vasectomy too soon







too late now I guess there is always adoption.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PassionateWriter* 
thanks. i guess i will join then, though most days i dont have much advice for families with "many" kids...mine are so spread out...18, 10 (almost 11), 3 and 4 months right now. im pretty sure we are done (like 99.99999%).

Wow, ours are spread out similarly! Mine are 17, 10, 3, and 14 mos. Plus one in the belly.







I had my 1st at age 17. As someone else mentioned, although I have loved every pregnancy & baby experience, I am soooo much more relaxed now than I was in my teens/20s (I'm 35). I was just so crazy-busy, stressed out, in an unhealthy marriage.... now I'm pretty much blissed out & stress free most of the time. I find parenting to just be easier the older I get.









And also, as another PP mentioned, I'm "making up for lost time".







I've always wanted a huge family, since the moment I hit puberty I think. But life circumstances didn't allow for it. Now that I'm in a good place for it, my (2nd) DH & I are having the time of our lives making babies together.









I've missed a month or 2 of the thread.... I too always lose it for some reason! But I just sat & read the entire thread so I'm caught up.









As for the question brought up re support & outlets for me to follow my own pursuits... I meet my friends mainly through our homeschool groups. I also enjoy "meeting" people through my blog. I've made some lovely friends online just by discovering each other's blogs. I can't decide if I'm intro or extroverted. It seems to change. I also receive an enormous amount of support from my dh. I never go out without kids, though. Every now & then I get a 10 min shower without kids in the room, otherwise I don't have my own body space. It doesn't usually upset me only because I'm enjoying this season of my life, the baby making season.







As for following my own pursuits, they're often kitchen & gardening related. I make all our foods from scratch, we hope to have some land & livestock one day soon... Plus I'm a major book nerd & read a ton. Plus I enjoy our homeschooling...

But in all seriousness, *PreggieUBA2C*, it sounds like you need some change.







: I really wish I had some great suggestions & could be helpful.







Is your dh open to allowing you to get out alone sometimes? On a day he's home? Do you have access to a vehicle during the day & could you get out with the kids to a park or something out in the healing sun? Maybe have a hike? A change of scenery? Also, have you taken a close look at your nutrition? In the past I've personally made some big dietary shifts & began new supplements (like adrenal gland supporting tonics because I was tired & faint, chromium for blood sugar regulation, cod liver oil, D3....) & felt amazingly better. I really hope you're able to make some changes & find more joy.







:

On to a frivolous topic







, I've never seen a Duggar episode because we don't have TV but just the other day my mom said she's going to start recording them for me & send them to me. YAY! I'm really excited!









Re food, we place a bulk foods order monthly that's usually around $400. I spend around $100/week on groceries/household stuff besides, and about $50 monthly on raw milk & our meats from a nearby farm. We're a family of 6 going on 7. Only a portion of our diet is organic because we just can't afford it.

Re dinnertime, ideally I love it when the older kids set the table, I put all the food on it, & we serve & eat together at the table. But our 3 yr old just tries to play with all the food! He'll stab the butter & spill the salad & splash the soup so we spend much of the "relaxing" meal policing him.







So we usually just serve ourselves straight out of the pot on the stove & carry our dishes to the table. My dh has this totally bizarre habit of *pacing* when he eats.







He will carry his plate around, eating, while pacing & pacing & pacing the room. It's a funny habit, but I've gotten used to it. lol He still engages in our table conversations & stuff.

And re birthday parties, we have small one with just family at home. A few gifts, plenty of tasty mom-made food, nothing huge and/or expensive.









Ok, I think I'm done














ing ! lol I guess this is what happens when I lose the thread for months, I feel like I have to post a novel. Heh. Also, my kids are totally sick, so I'm just sitting here breastfeeding Mr Grumpy.








:


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## BonMaman (Sep 25, 2005)

subbing


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BonMaman* 
subbing

What is meant by "subbing"? I think I've got all the abbreviations down now, but I'm clueless to this post?


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## BonMaman (Sep 25, 2005)

I'm subscribing to this thread. I hope to be able to add to the conversation soon.


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

By subcribing, what do you mean? Just reading, waiting to post a thought? Is it just that you are checking out a thread that you don't normally post on?


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *THANKFULFORFIVE* 
By subcribing, what do you mean? Just reading, waiting to post a thought? Is it just that you are checking out a thread that you don't normally post on?

When you subscribe to a thread, you can not only mark your place, which I do a lot, it also puts a little check mark by the thread title in the forum, so you can see at a glance which threads you are in, and you can get e-mail notices when someone adds to the thread.

You don't have to actually "subscribe" if you don't want, all you have to do is post anything in the thread if you have you settings fixed.

Many times I just post a







: when I am NAKing and can't really comment at that moment.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *THANKFULFORFIVE* 
By subcribing, what do you mean? Just reading, waiting to post a thought? Is it just that you are checking out a thread that you don't normally post on?

If your membership is set to "email notification", you will get an email whenever someone posts on any thread you've subscribed to. Or, if you're like me & don't want to get 80million emails from MDC everyday







, you can turn that function off & just click on your "user cp" which is kind of on the upper left of your screen. Your user cp will show all the threads you have subscribed to & you can see if anyone has left any new posts.

You are automatically subscribed ("subbed") to a thread if you post in it. Or, if you don't actually want to join the conversation but want to keep up on the thread anyway, you can click on "thread tools" at the top of the thread you're looking at, & scroll down to "subscribe to this thread".

People often post "subbing" to a thread so that they don't lose that thread. Maybe they want to come chat in the thread when they have time, or they just want to keep up & read every new post. Once they've posted to it (even just the word "subbing") they get the email notifications or can check their user cp to see updates.








Does it make sense?


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## Collinsky (Jul 7, 2004)

I sub so I get the notifications and can keep up with the thread even though I'm not posting a lot! When I log in, I can go to my control panel first thing, and any thread I've posted in (even if just to subscribe) that has new posts is displayed for me. Otherwise I'd never be able to keep up.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

So, how is everyone doing? We've had two warm days in a row, and I realize spring really is coming!







:







:Thank goodness. Winter was wearing on me.


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## AllisonK (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
So, how is everyone doing? We've had two warm days in a row, and I realize spring really is coming!







:







:Thank goodness. Winter was wearing on me.

AM Arwyn's pocket is a pretty great place to be.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I've been there since August.







:


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## THANKFULFORFIVE (Jan 8, 2009)

Thanks for the explanation ladies! I'm still learning....


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
So, how is everyone doing? We've had two warm days in a row, and I realize spring really is coming!







:







:Thank goodness. Winter was wearing on me.

I was enjoying our warm weather until I went outside tonight and it was freezing again! I wish it would just make up it's mind.


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

I was out and about in just a t-shirt on Thursday, and we shocked orangefoot with the tropical climes of Swindon







I'm doing so much better because we've had a few good things happen at once: River's started sleeping more, and DH can get him down for the night (most of the time he doesn't, but he can. And that's HUGE for me) the weather is turning, DH and I are communicating more effectively, and I have the car during the week now, which lets me do crazy things like drive off to Oxfordshire and Bristol to see people and yarn shops and stuff. Life is getting grand







And frankly, it's about time.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Tropical it was! I was in such a spring-y mood that I went to our Home ed group at Letcombe without a coat yesterday then spent half an hour pushing Frida on the swing with a drip on my nose 'cos it was so cold









Getting out and about to new places makes me feel better too. This week has been great: Monday was a stay at home day, Tuesday home edding outdoors in the cold but chatted to some good people who made me laugh; Wednesday a friend came over and we sewed the hem of a very frou-frou ballet tutu for her dd while the girls made a den under the table in the garden brrrrr; Thursday we spent a good apart of the day with Flapjack







; Friday out in the cold but also had fun. All in all a very good week.









If we have a week where we don't meet other humans who are larger than 3ft tall I do get a bit grumpy - especially if it has also been a week where the living room is in such mess that I can't clear the top of the sewing machine cabinet or swing the door open to get the machine out as well









I'm coming to realise that I am addicted to people and talking and listening. on days when I don't see full size folks I credit listening to the radio all day with saving my sanity. Radio 4 makes me think about other stuff and not get stuck in my own bubble. Listen to Old Harry's Game for a good laugh!


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

One thing about being a MOM is when one is sick and hospitalized and needs a mommy there, but the rest of the kids are home also needing a mommy. It has not been a fun few days.


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## Multimomma (Jan 25, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
So, how is everyone doing? We've had two warm days in a row, and I realize spring really is coming!







:







:Thank goodness. Winter was wearing on me.

It seemed nice all week, and then SNAP! Cold weather.







:
Spring spring
please be here soon!


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## fairymom (Sep 15, 2008)

All the snow had melted here and then suddenly we got 6-8 inches! I am so done w/snow. Average temp here is sopposed to be in the 20-30f and this last few days the high has been in the teens! Done here w/winter! But I may just be a little impatient cause I am due in April and that's usually when "spring" starts here. Dreaming of walks w/ds4 and lo in the wrap w/the pup- in the nice spring sunshine......







:


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## ~bookcase~ (Apr 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
One thing about being a MOM is when one is sick and hospitalized and needs a mommy there, but the rest of the kids are home also needing a mommy. It has not been a fun few days.









what an awful experience.
but 'yay' to your instincts that got you into hospital at the right time!!!


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## holyhelianthus (Jul 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
One thing about being a MOM is when one is sick and hospitalized and needs a mommy there, but the rest of the kids are home also needing a mommy. It has not been a fun few days.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

DiD I'm glad you're home now but what a traumatic few days







Are you ok?


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

We're okay. He seems almost completely normal and we slept so well last night together in the big bed with Daddy and big sister. It's so good to be home.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

So sorry you had to go through all that. I know what it is like, and the helpless feeling of not knowing what is going to happen and the worry about your child.

I am just glad that you are both back home, and he is feeling better.


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## happyhippimama (Apr 11, 2007)

Just found this thread. Yay!







:

We are having our 5th child in June. It is hard to find supporting nad understanding people about our large family.

Glad to have found this thread.


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## orangefoot (Oct 8, 2004)

Mamas, March has crept up on us - I wonder how that happened? Being busy with small people no doubt









Come on over to the March thread


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