# When to night-train?



## JLR1228 (Aug 2, 2014)

My dd is 2 1/2 and is fully trained during the day. There are some naps and nights that her diaper is dry, and some when they are soaked. When should I try night-training? Or is it even still early at this point?


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## sierramtngirl (Jun 19, 2013)

Subbing bc we have the exact same situation in my 2 yr &3 month old!


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

No, not early. With both of my kids we just stopped using diapers entirely once I thought they were ready. It may be a bit more hassle in that first stage but is better than the experience so many have of needing to diaper train another round with nighttime. Neither of my kids had many accidents with a naked bum.


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## Polliwog (Oct 29, 2006)

I don't think you can. They'll do it when they are ready, barring very rare circumstances.


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## sierramtngirl (Jun 19, 2013)

IdentityCrisisMama said:


> No, not early. With both of my kids we just stopped using diapers entirely once I thought they were ready. It may be a bit more hassle in that first stage but is better than the experience so many have of needing to diaper train another round with nighttime. Neither of my kids had many accidents with a naked bum.


You do naked bum at night as well to night train?


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

sierramtngirl said:


> You do naked bum at night as well to night train?


Yep.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

In my experience with my 3 kids, you can't exactly "Night train". And really, EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT. 

My son ( now 12 years old) potty learned in 3 hours when he was 2 years 4 months. Seriously. Told him in the am that we were going in the potty from now on and that I would give him ONE m&m after going ( he had NEVER had one before....lol), fed him enormous amounts of liquids to give him ample opportunities and by noon, he was getting up from playing, walking to the potty, and going by himself, unprompted. It was NOTHING I did. The kid just was ready, and I caught him in that magic window. He was becoming dry at naps ( cloth diapered child) and that was the actual cue that I thought he may be ready to potty learn. 2 weeks after being dry at naps every single day without incident, we ditched the nap time diapers but stuck with the bedtime diapers. I'd say a month or 2 after, and he started waking up dry on his own, and when he had 2 weeks straight of dry diapers, we ditched those too. He has never had an accident since at night. 

My daughter ( now 9) was almost as easy. She was 1 week shy of her 2 year birthday and her older brother was home from preschool sick for the week ( minor sickness) and I thought that since we had the opportunity to be home without interruptions and she had been waking dry from naps, we'd give it a go. We started on Monday, with the same methods above, and by Wednesday she was taking herself to the potty without prompting. She too became dry at naps a month or so later, and we ditched the diapers for good! 


My youngest ( now almost 4) was a MUCH different story. I did the same methods, and she was NOT interested. She'd go if I took her, but would NOT go unprompted. I firmly believe a child is NOT potty learned if you, the parent, are constantly taking them to the potty and asking them if they need to go. If I didn't ask her, she'd pee her panties. It was VERY frustrating for me, especially given my previous successes. But, I chalked it up to her stubborn nature, and stopped asking her and gave up for the most part  One month after her 3rd bday, I was sick in bed, and I hear her running to my dh, " I gotta go!" and he took her to the bathroom, and she's been potty learned ever since....no accidents. She became dry at naps soon after and ditched the diapers. She is now almost 4, and she still isn't night time dry consistently. She is starting to have 2-3 dry nights a week, so I'm thinking we are getting close, but it's definitely not the same pattern as her siblings. 

For the most part, I think cloth helped. But I'm now not doing cloth for 1 diaper a day.....it's just a pain. We are in pull ups. I reward her with a treat if she wakes up dry, because I was suspecting that she was wetting soon after waking up and just being too lazy to go to the potty. She also just recently stop nursing for bedtime so that may help too. Who knows. But the older two were still nursing at bedtime when they stopped wetting at night. If you aren't nursing, stopping fluids earlier in the evening can help, and making them go potty a few times before bedtime. I have a friend who still wakes her 10 year old to go to the potty around 11 pm when she goes to bed. She isn't really awake....she is half asleep, but used to the routine, and goes right back to sleep. If she doesn't do this, she wets the bed. Its' kinda of like the "dream feed" that breastfeeding mothers do to get a few extra hours of sleep!

Good luck....I"m right there with you.....


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## sierramtngirl (Jun 19, 2013)

sierramtngirl said:


> You do naked bum at night as well to night train?


We did naked bum for day learning, which she caught onto very quickly. Takes herself to the potty 98% of the time and we've had 2 accidents, but later found out she had a UTI, so really she has done quite well. Around the same time she would occasionally take her diaper off (we use cloth) during nap or at night and her bed would be soaked in the morning.....she was about 20-22 months when this happened. Maybe try again?


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

sierramtngirl said:


> Maybe try again?


Yea, maybe. It's true that all kids are different but for mine I had a strong feeling like they were learning the process as a whole and to use diapers at night or, worse, pull-up type pants would really undermine the process.

We had some cloth pull-ups and I have decided that for my kids these are a total gimmick. There is just no way for kids to understand that these are different than diapers. I've come to think of pull-ups (both cloth and disposable) as a sort of scam.

We co-sleep so keeping a baby on a towel or waterproof mat was easy enough. We just suffered through a few accidents as they learned that you only pee in the toilet (or outside).

I'm not opposed to reminders or support with recognizing the need to use the toilet though. My older did need to use the bathroom in the nigh and could not recognize the sensation in her sleep. She would cry and I would have to tell her that she needed to pee. My younger drinks more fluids (no longer BFing) but doesn't seem to need to pee in the night.

We also used a potty in the play area for quick, comfortable access in the first year. If I were helping them with night use, I would even consider a potty by the bed for reassurance.


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## luckiest (Apr 29, 2009)

We didn't "night train" - DS spontaneously began staying dry overnight a few months after day learning. I did "nap train" him by doing naked naps and that only took a couple days. But I thought it was a lot to ask him to hold it for 11-12 hours overnight. After he woke up dry for about three weeks in a row we switched to trainers (Hannah Anderson training undies). He was somewhere between 2.5 and 3. Now he's 3.5 and even if he chugs a huge glass of water before bed, he'll wake up and ask me to take him to the potty.


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## JLR1228 (Aug 2, 2014)

Hmm, thanks for the input. We only use pull-ups during nap time and those are most often dry (or we use them when we go on a trip and know we won't be able to stop as frequently). Sounds like she will naturally begin the process on her own. Some nights diapers are dry, other nights I'm amazed she didn't leak out. I think I will give it a little more time before putting her to bed in panties - but in all honesty that's because I'm not ready to wake up in the middle of the night to change sheets!


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

JLR1228 said:


> Hmm, thanks for the input. We only use pull-ups during nap time and those are most often dry (or we use them when we go on a trip and know we won't be able to stop as frequently). Sounds like she will naturally begin the process on her own. Some nights diapers are dry, other nights I'm amazed she didn't leak out. I think I will give it a little more time before putting her to bed in panties - but in all honesty that's because I'm not ready to wake up in the middle of the night to change sheets!


One suggestion from a book I read (which I haven't yet tried, as we are still mastering day time, and DS is still in a crib), is to talk to the child during the day about what to do if they wet their bed at night - have a pile of clean towels, and walk them through the idea that if they wake up wet, they put a towel on the wet spot, and go back to sleep. If they get you in the night because their bed is wet, just calmly show/remind them what to do. If DS isn't night dry by the time he's in a big boy bed, we may try this. That way, you don't have to mess with sheet changes until morning. We've only been potty training for a couple of weeks, and he's only caught on in the last less-than-week, but he started being dry at most naptimes as soon as the rest of the daytime stuff clicked, yesterday he woke up with a 100% dry night diaper, and this morning it was clear he had peed in his night diaper only once. (And he peed like CRAZY in the potty when he first got up both mornings!) This from a kid who routinely SOAKS his diaper (a disposable) AND pajamas in pee. I'm starting to suspect that he may actually have been holding his urine most of the night, and then letting it all go once he woke up and played in his crib a little, and that the diapers just couldn't handle the sudden, huge burst, because not all the pajama-soaking incidents have featured a fully saturated diaper. I've been making a point to get up almost as soon as I hear him stirring the past few mornings, so I can put him on the potty.


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## JLR1228 (Aug 2, 2014)

That's a good idea. What's the name of the book that you read that in? The only thing I would be worried about is skin irritation if the towel didn't stay in place.

Thanks for your input!


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

It's called Toilet Training without Tantrums by John Rosemund. I don't love everything about the book - the author's irritatingly superior tone, for one - but I think it has some good ideas if you can get past the author's attitude. (Like all parenting books, I think you've got to take what works and toss what doesn't.)

We had our second dry night last night, so I'm thinking we'll take the plunge of nighttime underwear when this diaper pack runs out, if the dry nights keep happening.


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## JudiAU (Jun 29, 2008)

JLR1228 said:


> My dd is 2 1/2 and is fully trained during the day. There are some naps and nights that her diaper is dry, and some when they are soaked. When should I try night-training? Or is it even still early at this point?


I wouldn't bother with nighttime until you are done with diapers during nap. Assuming she always pees before nap, is she peeing in her sleep? If so, than training probably won't work. If she is peeing as she is waking up you can help her by getting her to the potty as soon as wakes and then snuggles/nurse/book/kisses after. I really like a nice training pant with PUL for naps instead of a diaper when you are at this stage. If you are regularly having dry naps ditch the diapers right away.

I am not sure what a cloth pull up would be. Just a diaper that pulls up? We use cloth training pants and they are aid to potty learning for sure.


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## mamabear7 (Nov 13, 2013)

Hi there, I had my oldest potty trained at 18 months and never bought a diaper again. She wore undies at night and naps and ran around naked most of the time. At bedtime I left the potty in her room and would wake her up to go for the first couple of weeks; then she started doing it on her own. She amazingly enough has never had a nighttime accident and is almost eight years old. But I think that is pretty unusual. My son who is four and a half was potty trained at 20 mths and his cousin who I watched 12 hrs a day at 22 mths. It was fun potty training two little boys at the same time. I felt like I always had poop or pee on me or my clothes or somewhere. We also ditched the diapers with him and never bought pull ups, but he was a different story and still is. He still has accidents at night if I don't wake him up to go potty around 11 or 12. Sometimes he wakes himself up; sometimes he will go weeks without an accident then he will have a week where he wets the bed 3-4 times even if I wake him up. I think that wet beds in the middle of the night are just something we moms have to endure; especially when you think about the impact diapers and pull ups have on the environment. Towels by the bed are a great idea, but I personally wouldn't encourage your baby to do it by herself. My son always needs a little reassurance when he has an accident because he always feels bad about it :frown:. In regards to wondering whether your dd is too young, I say the younger the better! Good luck, whatever you decide to do, with a little patience and understanding, you guys will do great!! :thumb


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## Good Enough Mum (Apr 3, 2007)

This was the situation I was in with my daughter at about this age, and what I did was... nothing. I was in absolutely no rush to face the hassle of getting up and changing wet beds at night, so I just kept putting her down for her naps/night sleeps in nappies. Whereupon her dry naps/nights gradually became more frequent over a period of several months until it reached the point where she was completely dry at night and I hadn't had to do a thing.

My son was the exact reverse - showed no sign at all of wanting to become dry at night. I left it and left it, and then when he was eight I faced the fact that he was _never_ going to become magically dry of his own accord, and I was going to have to do something about it - which, for various practical reasons, I was best off doing that summer rather than leaving it any further. He was perfectly OK with being told that on X date we were going to start leaving off the nappies (he's autistic, which is why he hadn't been bothered by wearing nappies up until then - he just didn't have the whole 'big children don't wear nappies' reaction) but couldn't wake up when he needed to pee, so we had to use an alarm and reward system, which worked.

Anyway, unless you're desperate to be done with nappies it seems to me it would be perfectly reasonable for you to wait & see whether you have the experience I had with my daughter where it all just happens naturally. Then again, I suppose it depends on whether it bothers you more to deal with nappies or with wet beds!


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## Good Enough Mum (Apr 3, 2007)

IdentityCrisisMama said:


> We had some cloth pull-ups and I have decided that for my kids these are a total gimmick. There is just no way for kids to understand that these are different than diapers. I've come to think of pull-ups (both cloth and disposable) as a sort of scam.


It's a horses-for-courses thing. My husband found some pants that were sold as helping children night-train but were basically glorified extra-sturdy disposable pull-ups, which were completely wasted on my son - just a more expensive thing for him to soak through at night. But they were perfect for the stage where my daughter was naturally moving towards being trained but still had wet nights now and again, because as long as they hadn't been weed in I could use each one for several nights in a row, which worked out as cheaper overall than putting her in a separate disposable nappy each night but still meant the backup was there if she did have a wet night and so I didn't have to haul myself out of bed to change sheets.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Yes, that is a good point, GEM. For both my kids, however, they weren't dry at night while in diapers and then just were (almost like magic) when they went to bed w/ a naked bum. So I definitely support the "no pressure/why rush" perspective and that's how I felt - it's just that for my kids there seemed to be a very strong sensory thing about a diapered covered bum and that was getting in the way of predicting readiness. (The whole "diaper trained" thing talked about in EC really resonated with me). 

For us, waiting for dryness in a diaper would have been a very long (and I predict stressful) road. The 100% diaper free route worked so well for my two.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

Interesting to see how kids are different - the training book I mentioned above is adamantly against any pull-ups or diapers, ever, once you decide to start, insisting that it's just permission for the kid to pee on himself. But my son is totally not like that - he is really no more likely to pee in his pull-up than his underwear, and has been waking up completely dry in diapers. Which is a relief for me, since I really don't want to risk an accident in his carseat! But it makes sense to me that other kids would be different.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Good Enough Mum said:


> It's a horses-for-courses thing.





monkeyscience said:


> But it makes sense to me that other kids would be different.


Yes! I totally agree. The rub (to me) is the way that pull-ups are marketed and supported as a good choice for all kids. Same goes for this idea that kids learn to use the toilet during the day first and at night second. That was just so not my kids' experience that I feel it's a shame that so many parents seem to think both these things are a necessary part of the progression for all kids.

Someone asked about cloth pull-ups. They're out there. They are expensive and take forever to dry (they're like AOIs). I don't recommend them.


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## monkeyscience (Feb 5, 2008)

IdentityCrisisMama said:


> Yes! I totally agree. The rub (to me) is the way that pull-ups are marketed and supported as a good choice for all kids. Same goes for this idea that kids learn to use the toilet during the day first and at night second. That was just so not my kids' experience that I feel it's a shame that so many parents seem to think both these things are a necessary part of the progression for all kids.


The longer I am a parent, the more I feel this way about all kinds of things. Kids are different. Period. There is absolutely no method, no product, NOTHING that works for all kids. (Though there are things, like, say, starving them at putting them in cages that are good for NO kids.) One-size-fits-all parenting plans make me nuts. I appreciate living in a time and place when I have a lot of different tools (both physical and metaphorical) for raising my kids. I don't appreciate being told that there's only one "right" tool set, and one "right" way to use it.  (Which isn't what I see happening on this thread, which is great.  )


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## momotwo (Aug 22, 2014)

Our son potty trained rather quickly when he was two. But now at four he is still wearing a diaper at night. He just drinks so much water throughout the day that it feels like he'll never be trained at night. I'm also a big believer in how good water is for you, so I don't want to deprive him of water before bed either. He usually has a cup of water beside his bed which he will drink at night.

Our doctor said don't worry about it, but it's always on our minds.


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## head4thehills (Feb 19, 2014)

Momotwo, I'm in a similar boat. Our 4yo son is almost completely trained during the day, but shows no sign of staying dry at night. He just doesn't seem to have a strong enough desire to not be wet. He could sleep in a soaking wet bed and not mind in the least. But today I feel we must take the plunge and start night training in earnest because the Pull-Ups are just not doing an adequate job. They leak so much, I'm already washing the sheets almost every day.

Also, I get the feeling (maybe an instinctual hunch, maybe just wishful thinking) that he is ready to learn, with just some more prompting from me. He still needs plenty of daytime prompting to keep himself dry, and I think he may be just too lazy and comfortable to go to the toilet if he wakes up in the night. I don't know, though, he may still be peeing in his sleep.

The problem is, baby girl and I often end up sleeping in his bed for the second half of the night (he sleeps on a futon). I don't mind putting a towel over a wet spot, but I'm afraid that without pull-ups, it will be more like a nightly flood in his bed, soaking blankets and everything. His pull-ups do tend to be rather full in the morning.

But, I don't envision him getting into the habit of using the toilet at night any other way, and I feel he's old enough to learn. We may have to put up with the flood for a few nights before he gets the picture. He doesn't care if he's wet. He does, however, want us to stay with him when he wakes up in the night. If I refuse to sleep in his bed if it's wet, that may eventually be enough incentive for him to use the toilet. Still, it's a night struggle that I'm not sure I'm ready for. I need a good night's sleep in order to function during the day. But maybe it won't be so bad, or so long before he gets the hang of it.

This thread has helped me to understand that every child really is different. I think that with my son, I need to teach him with plenty of prompting. And live with the exhaustion!


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