# You might be a 'crunchy' parent if...



## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

the "sprinkle cheese" (parmesan) can in your house is actually filled with nutritional yeast.

You have children yet have never owned a crib or had a "nursery"

your kids don't know about babies being born in hospitals, they play "midwife"

You have ever had to pause and figure out what to say when your young son asks if he can be a midwife when he grows up...


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## mommy212 (Mar 2, 2010)

your LO is surprised to see someone's else's baby eat from a jar


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## princesstutu (Jul 17, 2007)

all your friends think it's perfectly fine that your LO places her hand on their boob when they hold her


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

I have seen totally bottle-fed babies grab boobs, I think it's the comfy factor lol.

if...your little ones don't get why their cousins/friends can't come over to play until after 3 during the week or only weekends.


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## IdahoMom (Nov 8, 2005)

You keep score of all the things you do that make you a "better" parent than your "mainstream" neighbors and family.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Darn I guess me and my public schooled kids won't be contributing this to thread!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> I have seen totally bottle-fed babies grab boobs, I think it's the comfy factor lol.
> 
> if..*.your little ones don't get why their cousins/friends can't come over to play until after 3 during the week or only weekends.*


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## McGucks (Nov 27, 2010)

That is a great idea--about the sprinkle cheese/nutritional yeast. Will do.

And, in reply:

If you have permanent (well, not really) teeth marks on your boobs (from a child, I should say).

You shudder when you hear Elmo's laugh (though, I have to say, I support what Sesame Street puts on...very good values, I think).

If you kind of like eating the prune puree you won't feed your child that you got free from WIC.


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## prairiemommy (Sep 25, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *IdahoMom*
> 
> You keep score of all the things you do that make you a "better" parent than your "mainstream" neighbors and family.


Oh, snap!

Seriously. Guess what? Other mothers on "mainstream" websites think they are doing a better job than a lot of the posters here. And sometimes - gasp - they talk about you too!

Oh but I do want to add that to me, as long as kids are fed, well-taken care of, loved and happy, it's all good. Loved kids make great adults whether or not they were breastfed until they got their driver's license.


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## elmh23 (Jul 1, 2004)

Every parent I know hates Elmo, even if they let their kid watch 24/7 TV. Elmo is annoying.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *caedenmomma*
> 
> That is a great idea--about the sprinkle cheese/nutritional yeast. Will do.
> 
> ...


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

OK, for reals, ladies? Is all this horn-tooting, back-patting, and nose-angling really neccessary?

Heads up. If your kids are happy, healthy, and thriving, your an awsome parent and they think your the bomb. Just sayin.

I get that Mdc is crunchy. Ive been around long enough to know that. HOWEVER, not all of us are tandum nursing 3 children until the oldest is 8, grassfed, organic self made garden, living off grid, un circed, stay at home moms. But we still love our kids and enjoy this forum.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I thought crunchy was mainstream now?


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife*
> 
> I thought crunchy was mainstream now?


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Charlie's~Angel~*
> 
> OK, for reals, ladies? Is all this horn-tooting, back-patting, and nose-angling really neccessary?
> 
> ...


dude you just aren't doing crunchy well enough...try harder!

FORCE your kids to nurse again...who cares if no milk is coming in!










This thread should be called..."You might think you are better than any other parent in the whole history of parenting if..."


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Charlie's~Angel~*
> 
> OK, for reals, ladies? Is all this horn-tooting, back-patting, and nose-angling really neccessary?
> 
> ...


ITA! What on earth is this thread for?

FWIW.. I've watched kids grow up in every possible lifestyle, with breast milk, or formula, eating mcdonalds or organic food, and they all turn out pretty much the same. No one has an advantage over the other. The kids who come from happy supportive loving homes where mom and dad still love each other more than anything, are the most productive happy well adjusted adults now. The ones from messed up homes are messed up. It doesn't matter how long they shared a bed with Mom and dad.


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## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

Yeah by some of these comments here I would be considered very mainstream. Which I guess I am. We breastfed but now on formula, co sleep for a short time. But don't cloth diaper. I let DD watch TV, we dont' eat organic foods but a few items and even those are rare. . I fed DD from a jar. Gave birth at the hospital with an epidural. will be circing if we have a boy and so on. But I don't find that I fit in either category mainstream or AP. I parent on how I feel is right or natural to me and DH. The only thing that matters to me is that my daughter and soon to be born baby know that they are loved and that DH and I are their safe place. I come here because there is a lot of information here that has been helpful even if I haven't asked for myself. I mean I never would have known the safety of RF till 2 at the earliest. And things like that.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

I just want to add that its because of 'tudes like THIS that I feel I really dont fit in anywhere. Friggin sucks! Feels like highschool.


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## melijack1 (Nov 18, 2008)

...if you feel the need to congratulate yourself on what a great parent you are, all the while casting judgement and disdain on parents who do things differently than you.

...if you refuse to acknowledge that while your way may be the best for YOUR family, it is not the be all and end all for every family out there, and maybe, just maybe, other people are doing what is right for their own family and they feel just as secure in their decisions as you do.

Seriously, I have done the best I can to do what is best for my son, and I am confident in my own decisions, but I am pretty sure if I shared them here I'd be pretty harshly viewed. MDC does have a lot of information that I value, so that is why I continue to read here. I just wish I thought I could share more about myself without being judged for it.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife*
> 
> I thought crunchy was mainstream now?


Blame Gwenyth Paltrow.


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## Ldavis24 (Feb 19, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Charlie's~Angel~*
> 
> I just want to add that its because of 'tudes like THIS that I feel I really dont fit in anywhere. Friggin sucks! Feels like highschool.


I would totally sit with you at the lunch table at school


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GuildJenn*
> 
> Blame Gwenyth Paltrow.


I blame Gwenyth Paltrow for everything.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

I understand that this was meant as a lighthearted thread. Its obvious that some have found it insulting. I request that you please remember the U/A when you post to the thread and keep it constructive.

Thanks


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## McGucks (Nov 27, 2010)

I thought this thread was funny, not "we are the champions, my friends." I agree with the PPs that say do what you wanna do as long as you love your children. I don't think the OP made this out to be a superiority forum. Just funny.


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## PhoenixMommaToTwo (Feb 22, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *eclipse*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


Geez, doesn't everyone?









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Ldavis24*
> 
> I would totally sit with you at the lunch table at school


Me too.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

I saw it as naming things that made us non-mainstream, not pretending we're better than anyone. There's actual reasons things are called mainstream, and some aren't, that has nothing to do with being better than someone else!


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

Um, it was supposed to be funny. I am old I guess LOL I remember when Jeff Foxworthy might have been a *******....

And I also remember when this was the kind of place somebody could post something like this and people would go with it and it was funny.

If we've all gotten too serious to have a funny thread, then I guess a mod can take it down. Really. It wasn't meant to be a superiority thread for us over any other site or for who's the crunchiest. Just funny. That's all.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama*
> 
> Um, it was supposed to be funny. I am old I guess LOL I remember when Jeff Foxworthy might have been a *******....
> 
> ...


I totally agree. I think its cute, and I was kind of annoyed to see people's response that just because posters are saying what they do differently they are trying to make themselves out to be superior. Let it rest already......not everything that gets posted on MDC about how some of us are different from the mainstream is meant to make you feel inferior (or anyone feel inferior).

By the way, I totally thought I was the only one who keeps nut yeast in my parm container








My parents always ask where the anti bacterial hand gel is when the visit. The Dr. Bronners just doesnt cut it for them. Most of the time I forget about things like lysol, anti bacterial hand gel, store bought baby wipes, paper towels, and other things that my family expects me to have in the house and Im always like, "Uh, we have a bottle of witch hazel and tea tree oil?" Maybe I should go shopping before they come this weekend. I have started making sure to buy paper towels when we have guests, most people just use them all.the.time.


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## alittlesandy (Jan 20, 2010)

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *IdahoMom*
> 
> You keep score of all the things you do that make you a "better" parent than your "mainstream" neighbors and family.


I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought this after reading the op. I'm so tired of failing the AP litmus test.

How you know when you won't be invited to the AP self-congratulatory club:

Had a c-section...check

Gave my baby a bottle before six weeks, risking (gasp!) nipple confusion, because I HAD to return to work after five weeks...check

Bought and used a crib...check

Bought and used a stroller...check

Know what?

I did everything possible to flip my breech baby, including seeing a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, a Chinese-herbalist, and laying upside down on an ironing board for several days.

I worked my A** off to breastfeed for two years, through thrush, mastitis, etc. My baby never had a drop of formula.

I carried my son as much as possible despite a c-section scar that wouldn't heal and severe back pain. I ended up using a stroller half the time.

I put my son to sleep in a crib when he was mobile because I sleep in a loft with an open-railing and I was terrified he would fall out.

I know I sound defensive. I AM defensive.

I unsubscribed to one of my favorite blogs because the author wrote this long post about how she doesn't want her daughter to play with baby bottles or strollers and never EVER wants her daughter to association a bottle with feeding a baby. WTF? I am the breadwinner of my family and had no choice but to pump and bottle-feed. I proudly associate bottles with my ability to continue breastfeeding my child even after going back to work.

I absolutely love and agree with all aspects of AP, but why do there have to be so many unrelenting comparisons? It just makes me sad...


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *PhoenixMommaToTwo*
> 
> Me too.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

1. There is a bucket in the bathroom next to the toilet for your FC!

2. There are no flashing/singing/battery operated toys in your house

3. There is one bedroom full of mattresses on the floor where you all sleep

4. You compost the babies poop

5. You make all your own all natural cleaning products or steam clean everything

6. Someone offers you DC Cheerios and you come running over with a GMO free alternative

...There is a lot more I could think of but DD is calling me!

BTW everyone relax a bit will you! MDC doesn't need to be a battleground 24/7 you know. Also not circing a child is not "crunchy" in my book...


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

I wanted to re-emphasize this sentiment. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. So sad. Might have to bow out of this entire community for a while.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *melijack1*
> 
> ... I just wish I thought I could share more about myself without being judged for it.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> 1. There is a bucket in the bathroom next to the toilet for your FC!
> 
> ...


Right on. You are the first person Ive ever known to do this, and I have many friends with composting toilets.


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## prairiemommy (Sep 25, 2003)

Well then, in the spirit of this thread, here is why our family is not mainstream:

My kids ask me things like, "Mom, when are you going to go boob shopping?"

My cats think stuffed breasts are fun cat toys.

My kids ask if I'm going to have chemo again.

My youngest rubs my scars instead of my breasts to comfort me, not himself.

My kids got looked after by new people that I hadn't vetted or even met myself every single day for 3 months.

This mama naps.


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## McGucks (Nov 27, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *alittlesandy*
> 
> I know I sound defensive. I AM defensive.
> 
> ...


You sound pretty darn awesome to me. You went through an awful lot to raise your child in accordance with your values. Good for you! Not everyone understands what some folks have to endure to raise their children.


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## lovelylisa (Jan 23, 2009)

What if I compost my babies poop in the trunk of the car rusting in my front yard?

Does that make me a crunchy *******?


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## Emma Bryan Fuller (Dec 17, 2007)

I am not as crunchy as I thought I was after all 

Enjoying reading this post, got me thinking. Have been considering using cloth wipes and make more natural cleaning products. Also, I really need a push to be done with paper towels once and for all.


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## Eligracey (Apr 28, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *alittlesandy*
> 
> I know I sound defensive. I AM defensive.
> 
> I absolutely love and agree with all aspects of AP, but why do there have to be so many unrelenting comparisons? It just makes me sad...


Right on, mama!

I pumped and bottle fed, too, after returning to work, and I even put my baby in the evil, evil daycare! I had a CNM birth instead of a UC, and I'm doing mama-led weaning right now, at age 2.5! He's sleeping in a crib as I type this. Sounds good to me, since he's loved and cherished and well-taken care of and I'm the center of his world. Maybe we should start a spin-off thread on "why I'm not crunchy enough for MDC." Feel free to quote my post in a new thread if anyone's interested in starting it.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

Is human poop ok for gardening? I always heard it wasn't.

And if I had fake breasts(removable) I'm sure my dog would find and chew them up.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I think everyone is going way overboard here with defenses. Why not look at it all in a better light?

I was informed before I had my c-section and even tried chiropractic care

I pumped exclusively

I nursed until 2.5 y/o

My baby slept in a crib, but I never did CIO!

We don't eat organic but we eat all whole foods

etc etc these all seem pretty non-mainstream to me.







We aren't here to judge each other and fight! Like OP said she was just trying to start a fun thread...don't make it something it's not.


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## oaktreemama (Oct 12, 2010)

When you stop making lists about how special and sparkly your parenting is because you realize (almost) everyone is doing the best they can.


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## oaktreemama (Oct 12, 2010)

Quote:


> don't make it something it's not.


It is impossible to be anything else other than a crunchfest checklist.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> Is human poop ok for gardening? I always heard it wasn't.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

....you suddenly realized that of course the thread went negative...it had a big old negative title. Sorry about that. And seriously, this was just a place to put a few funny things that happened in our house this week that my non-MDC type real-life friends just wouldn't get.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I didnt realize that keeping your nut yeast in a shaker or composting your poop was anyone trying to be "sparkly." SO WHAT if people want to make a list about how crunchy they are/arent? If it makes people feel bad, Im sorry. It makes me feel bad when people complain about still having (only) 5 lbs to lose, but I dont say anything. Lots of threads make people feel bad, and NOT everyone is meant to be included in every single thread. Tell me that none of you complaining cant think of anything that you do in your lives that sets you aside from most people you run in to? There are a million boards all over the internet talking about how they did everything exactly like "What to Expect in the First Year" told them to, but we cant say that we compost poop without being treated like we are trying to host an awards show?

ETA: Exactly when and where _is_ it okay to be proud of the way you are parenting? Not around my family. Not around a lot of my friends. Not around anyone at the grocery store where I live. So, who exactly are some of us supposed to have camaraderie with about the choices we are making? I thought a natural parenting site was a perfect place....


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> I didnt realize that keeping your nut yeast in a shaker or composting your poop was anyone trying to be "sparkly." SO WHAT if people want to make a list about how crunchy they are/arent? If it makes people feel bad, Im sorry. It makes me feel bad when people complain about still having (only) 5 lbs to lose, but I dont say anything. Lots of threads make people feel bad, and NOT everyone is meant to be included in every single thread. Tell me that none of you complaining cant think of anything that you do in your lives that sets you aside from most people you run in to? There are a million boards all over the internet talking about how they did everything exactly like "What to Expect in the First Year" told them to, but we cant say that we compost poop without being treated like we are trying to host an awards show?
> 
> ETA: Exactly when and where _is_ it okay to be proud of the way you are parenting? Not around my family. Not around a lot of my friends. Not around anyone at the grocery store where I live. So, who exactly are some of us supposed to have camaraderie with about the choices we are making? I thought a natural parenting site was a perfect place....


That's just the internet though. There are "a million boards all over the internet" and there is never going to be a shell of protection where everybody has to have the same opinions all the time. (And frankly if there was...it'd be creepy) If someone is going to be offended, they're going to be offended. Being offended by their being offended is just, well, pointless.


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## cinderella08 (Feb 27, 2009)

OP - I thought this was a very light-hearted, and funny thread. I don't see it negative at all.

Here are our "you might be a crunchy parent if" ....

* your DD calls your cloth pads "mama diapers"

* your 29m and 9m old fight over who's boob is who's

* you automatically assume everyone composts and when at family/friends houses - you receive odd looks for not throwing "garbage" away and instead asking where the compost barrel is.

* you teach sanctity of our plant-life and your DD says "aww poor twee" when she sees an area being cut for timber


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## prairiemommy (Sep 25, 2003)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> I didnt realize that keeping your nut yeast in a shaker or composting your poop was anyone trying to be "sparkly." SO WHAT if people want to make a list about how crunchy they are/arent? If it makes people feel bad, Im sorry. It makes me feel bad when people complain about still having (only) 5 lbs to lose, but I dont say anything. Lots of threads make people feel bad, and NOT everyone is meant to be included in every single thread. Tell me that none of you complaining cant think of anything that you do in your lives that sets you aside from most people you run in to? There are a million boards all over the internet talking about how they did everything exactly like "What to Expect in the First Year" told them to, but we cant say that we compost poop without being treated like we are trying to host an awards show?
> 
> ETA: Exactly when and where _is_ it okay to be proud of the way you are parenting? Not around my family. Not around a lot of my friends. Not around anyone at the grocery store where I live. So, who exactly are some of us supposed to have camaraderie with about the choices we are making? I thought a natural parenting site was a perfect place....


Do you realize how gross "nut yeast" sounds? Like, have you thought that nickname through? I think it's definitely worth the extra "ritional" to make it sound less disgusting.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama*
> 
> ....you suddenly realized that of course the thread went negative...it had a big old negative title. Sorry about that. And seriously, this was just a place to put a few funny things that happened in our house this week that my non-MDC type real-life friends just wouldn't get.


I was offended at first. But, then I thought about it, and realized what you were trying to do...sorry I got all uptight.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

I thought it was actual nut yeast, somehow. But apparantly it's nutritional yeast. Hmmm. Never heard of it! Nut yeast is a funny name, though.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *prairiemommy*
> 
> Do you realize how gross "nut yeast" sounds? Like, have you thought that nickname through? I think it's definitely worth the extra "ritional" to make it sound less disgusting.


I guess I never really thought about it. I used to work in a vegetarian restaurant, and that was always what we labeled it, so I just called it that forever.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I can not believe people are freaking out about this. Obvs every single person in the world can't be "absolutely perfect" and do everything "right". Get over it. If you are insecure about something you have done as a parent try to deal with that and move past it. I don't see a need to be defensive over a joking thread. Everyone and anyone will always find something that makes you "not as good of a parent as them" or that type of thing. I mean come on I have been told many a times that DD should be weaned and in a crib...some people really think that it makes me a bad parent b/c I chose what I feel is best for my family and my individual child. Oh well. Everyone has there own battles YK? I recently was attacked for NOT spanking, that it is a huge injustice for my DD to not be spanked...legit... so you can NEVER win. Get over it!

As for poop compost, yeah why couldn't you use it? I never heard of that. I feel like a lot of people use "humanure"!


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

As for more crunchiness

1. squirting BM in people's eyes for conjunctivitis! (cured DD 2x and DH once)

2. dido up the nose for congestion

3. Curing ear infections with garlic oil

4. Thinking that breast milk ice cream sounded like a good idea!


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> I thought it was actual nut yeast, somehow. But apparantly it's nutritional yeast. Hmmm. Never heard of it! Nut yeast is a funny name, though.


Nut yeast and anal skin cells...


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> As for more crunchiness
> 
> ...


Maybe it's the margarita, but I totally read this wrong the first time.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lovingmommyhood*
> 
> Nut yeast and anal skin cells...


dessicated anal skin cells....you mean "natural flavoring?" Yeah, that's on my list of things I wish I didn't know, thank you very much Jamie Oliver.


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

WHAT did I miss on food revolution? Anal skin cells?? somebody fill me in. I DVR'ed it and didn't catch that?!


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife*
> 
> Maybe it's the margarita, but I totally read this wrong the first time.


Well, I didnt have a margarita this evening and I still read it wrong.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama*
> 
> WHAT did I miss on food revolution? Anal skin cells?? somebody fill me in. I DVR'ed it and didn't catch that?!


He talked about it on David letterman. The ingredient is called "Castoreum." http://eater.com/archives/2011/04/06/jamie-oliver-by-the-way-theres-beaver-anal-gland-in-ice-cream.php


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife*
> 
> Maybe it's the margarita, but I totally read this wrong the first time.












Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chaoticzenmom*
> 
> dessicated anal skin cells....you mean "natural flavoring?" Yeah, that's on my list of things I wish I didn't know, thank you very much Jamie Oliver.


YUM.









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama*
> 
> WHAT did I miss on food revolution? Anal skin cells?? somebody fill me in. I DVR'ed it and didn't catch that?!


Castoreum (that's short for beaver anal gland by the way) makes an appearance on the David Letterman show when guest, Jamie Oliver, discusses food additives. We have a detailed ingredient report on Castoreum that you can read here. If you want to avoid this ingredient, it may be difficult. Castoreum doesn't have to show on an ingredient list, it can simply say 'Natural Flavor.' Enjoy the video below.

http://www.befoodsmart.com/blog/video-jamie-oliver-talks-about-beaver-anal-gland-castoreum-in-our-food/


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## mamayogibear (May 8, 2011)

I'm curious, what did you say?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama*
> 
> You have ever had to pause and figure out what to say when your young son asks if he can be a midwife when he grows up...


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife*
> 
> Maybe it's the margarita, but I totally read this wrong the first time.


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## mamayogibear (May 8, 2011)

Only if you plant an organic herb garden in the trunk of the car

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lovelylisa*
> 
> What if I compost my babies poop in the trunk of the car rusting in my front yard?
> 
> Does that make me a crunchy *******?


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## mamayogibear (May 8, 2011)

I pumped and bottle fed my son between three and seven months but no longer have a job so I don't get to put him in daycare with a bottle anymore. Maybe if I weren't a single mom I could afford to be crunchy enough to not have done that. I too had a CNM birth instead of UC and hope to someday become a CNM! I hope that doesn't make me a harbinger of sogginess...

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Eligracey*
> 
> Right on, mama!
> 
> I pumped and bottle fed, too, after returning to work, and I even put my baby in the evil, evil daycare! I had a CNM birth instead of a UC, and I'm doing mama-led weaning right now, at age 2.5! He's sleeping in a crib as I type this. Sounds good to me, since he's loved and cherished and well-taken care of and I'm the center of his world. Maybe we should start a spin-off thread on "why I'm not crunchy enough for MDC." Feel free to quote my post in a new thread if anyone's interested in starting it.


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## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

I understand it was/is meant for fun. It was just the keeping score post really bugged me. And I admit I am super emotional lately (pregnancy) and so I know I have taken things very personal and not just here but with DH as well and I have been trying not to.

Anyways some of these are funny. but would very much make me way more mainstream because I just couldn't do many of the things listed.

I read the dido one a few times before it clicked...lol


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## lunarlady (Jan 4, 2010)

I, too, had to read the dido the nose one a couple times, I just kept thinking..."thats a huge nose or a very small...". LOL

...you examine the contents if your little ones poopy cloth diaper to decide if it can go straight in the washer of has chunks that require pre rinsing in the toilet.

...you watch your kid eating dirt, grass, and twigs in the yard serenly because you know they are organic. But then you intervene because grass is on the list that requires rinsing of the cloth diapers.

...your child talks enthusiastically about her weaning party, and wants to know when she can have another one.

...you see a mom struggling to carry a child and feel compelled to say (to nobody in particular) "that lady needs a sling!"

...your child can tell the checkout lady which bunch is kale, which is collard greens, which is mustard greens, and which is chard. She can also then explain that greens are good for moms, but the Annies Mac and cheese is good for kids.

...your child likes to explain how they saw baby sister come out of your butt. This is in spite of several discussions about the difference between butt and yoni. Anatomy is not their strong point.

And maybe it's my age, but I thought this was a thread devoted to cheeky quips. I didn't read anything more into it than that. Lighten up a little mamas!


----------



## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

I personally find this type of thread amusing because of all the things I *haven't* thought of!







And the cute anecdotes from kids.







Truly, it's camaraderie, not comparison.







I don't even know what to do with nutritional yeast.







There are a lot of things I've heard of but never tried, too, and it's funny to see people's experiences with those things, especially as they clash with mainstream family or friends!

As for composting human feces, no, not recommended for gardens! Urine, on the other hand...









And the only thing I can think of, recently, is...

... when all the toys come out of the diaper bag and the closest thing to plastic is Sophie the Giraffe.

Awhile back...

... when your kids hear their aunt is expecting babies and they're excited because that means she'll get to see their midwife (though said aunt actually lives across the country!).


----------



## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

You can use humanure on your vegetable garden, but it has to sit for a long time first.
The Humanure Handbook is a great resource, and has about 5 different methods for how to make humanure safe to use on your garden.


----------



## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

Well I'd always heard it was bad, also dog manure is bad (or we'd have plenty of that with 3 labs lol). Now I can debunk people who say humanure can't be used! Thanks for the info  This is the first year I haven't had a garden as I was in my first trimester during the time we'd usually plant everything and I just didn't have the energy. I miss it but I don't miss standing in the heat!


----------



## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> You can use humanure on your vegetable garden, but it has to sit for a long time first.
> The Humanure Handbook is a great resource, and has about 5 different methods for how to make humanure safe to use on your garden.


This stuff is big here in crunchier than thou Portland... everyone here says let it rot two years before use on food gardens.

Dog waste is a no no. I forget why but it has something not good for people.


----------



## ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ (Jun 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *peaceful_mama*
> 
> the "sprinkle cheese" (parmesan) can in your house is actually filled with nutritional yeast.
> 
> ...


Why???







One of the best midwives I know is a male (CNM, phd) He is actually the Head of the OB department (over all the other mw's and OB's) at the hospital where I work.

Do you also pause about what to say when your daughter says she wants to be a doctor when she grows up??


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I was thinking the same thing. Can't men be MWs?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~*
> 
> Why???
> 
> ...


----------



## McGucks (Nov 27, 2010)

We use nutritional yeast on popcorn, in soups, stews, and just in general. Admission: I have no real idea why we use it or actually what it is. I used to tell DH it was the stuff that looked like fish food, which it does. I do not know if I use the right amount--I just throw some in this or that and feel that I am adding some nutrition. I guess this makes me an ignorant semi-crunchy.

I do not, however, recycle my own feces. I flush, gratefully. I guess this makes me wasteful. Ha ha. That was funny.


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *elmh23*
> 
> Every parent I know hates Elmo, even if they let their kid watch 24/7 TV. Elmo is annoying.


I have nothing else to add, and probably won't finish the thread, but this is sooooo true. I don't know a single adult who doesn't find Elmo insanely annoying. (I, personally, think he wrecked Sesame Street, which is a show I remember fondly from my own childhood.) That said...dd2 is actually watching a Sesame Street episode, with Elmo, on Netflix, as I type.


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I don't mind Elmo actually


----------



## lovelylisa (Jan 23, 2009)

What is nut yeast? (WHich is what I'm calling it from now on, and it will make my husband giggle because he's super mature)


----------



## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
> 
> I have nothing else to add, and probably won't finish the thread, but this is sooooo true. I don't know a single adult who doesn't find Elmo insanely annoying. (I, personally, think he wrecked Sesame Street, which is a show I remember fondly from my own childhood.) That said...dd2 is actually watching a Sesame Street episode, with Elmo, on Netflix, as I type.


I'll take Elmo over Caillou any day. I used to run into the living room yelling "nnnooooo" as I changed channels away from Caillou. The kids thought that was hilarious and would actively search for Caillou just to see me do my dramatic moves.


----------



## mamayogibear (May 8, 2011)

Nut yeast is a great vegan substitute for cheese. It is one of the few vegan foods aside from quinoia that is high in B vitamins. It is also a great source of protein. I too agree that it looks like fish food, and so does my dd who put it in the fish tank once, and the fish agreed so it can't be that bad if it didn't kill Nemo. Oh no, I named my dd's pet fish after a movie, how non-crunchy of me

I used to compost my dogs poop! A house I rented had a 'doggie doolie' installed in the back yard but that was years before I had kids so it wouldn't be AP at all, only natural living but not natural family living, well maybe because I think of my dog as family....

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *caedenmomma*
> 
> We use nutritional yeast on popcorn, in soups, stews, and just in general. Admission: I have no real idea why we use it or actually what it is. I used to tell DH it was the stuff that looked like fish food, which it does. I do not know if I use the right amount--I just throw some in this or that and feel that I am adding some nutrition. I guess this makes me an ignorant semi-crunchy.
> 
> I do not, however, recycle my own feces. I flush, gratefully. I guess this makes me wasteful. Ha ha. That was funny.


----------



## alittlesandy (Jan 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamayogibear*
> 
> Nut yeast is a great vegan substitute for cheese. It is one of the few vegan foods aside from quinoia that is high in B vitamins. It is also a great source of protein. I too agree that it looks like fish food, and so does my dd who put it in the fish tank once, and the fish agreed so it can't be that bad if it didn't kill Nemo. Oh no, I named my dd's pet fish after a movie, how non-crunchy of me


I just saw a container of this and was tempted to buy it. So it's cheese-like? What do you tend to sprinkle it on?


----------



## mamayogibear (May 8, 2011)

I sprinkle it on just about everything: popcorn, toast, salads, salads and salads, pasta. You can mix it with vinegar to make a tangy sauce. Check out the vegan forum here on MDC there is a bit of information on nut yeast there. It's real name is nutritional yeast so maybe try googling that.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *alittlesandy*
> 
> I just saw a container of this and was tempted to buy it. So it's cheese-like? What do you tend to sprinkle it on?


----------



## VocalMinority (Apr 8, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *eclipse*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


This makes me giggle b/c my cousin just named her daughter Gwyneth!


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> I don't mind Elmo actually


Well, I'd never met a parent who could stand Elmo, but I knew there must be some...


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chaoticzenmom*
> 
> I'll take Elmo over Caillou any day. I used to run into the living room yelling "nnnooooo" as I changed channels away from Caillou. The kids thought that was hilarious and would actively search for Caillou just to see me do my dramatic moves.


Ugh. DS1 used to watch Caillou occasionally, but I'd actually managed to mostly forget that he existed...until now...


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamayogibear*
> 
> Oh no, I named my dd's pet fish after a movie, how non-crunchy of me


I used to have a cat named Manic. He was named after the brother of Sonic the Hedgehog, from the old Sonic Underground cartoon. (My sister also had "Ranger", because her son and ds1 wanted her to call it "Power Ranger" and she compromised, and she had "Chocobo" from Final Fantasy. Our cats had weird names.)


----------



## dauphinette (Nov 13, 2007)

1. When your LO looks around everytime you are in a public bathroom for the '(cloth) wipes' and then says upon exiting the stall "I used toilet paper because there were no butt rags, mama...."

2. When your neighbors tell everyone that moves into the neighborhood that your the crazy chicken breeding family, the crazy veggies-growin-in-the-front yard family(as if that weren't apparent upon immediate inspection!), the crazy barefoot hippies the list goes on and on, lol

3. When you are always the one who has to explain "which hospital" dd was born at.....(UCed) at every new playgroup, meetup, church group etc., which ped. she goes to (none), why we didn't have her front teeth yanked out or caps put on (we did ozone and it worked SO well) and yes people do ask me these things unprompted and no I don't mind answering at all, and while it can feel a little "on the spot"ish no one has ever actually SAID anything rude to me after I answered but I have gotten some looks or mouths agape expressions, LOL!

4. When even your friends think you are extreme or wierd but atleast they love and accept you anyway or better yet like it about you.

5. When your little girl casually at play group plays "farmers market" instead of grocery store.

6.

I LOVE this thread and am genuinely turned off by the backlash to it. I mean seriously?


----------



## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

...when your child begs you to buy spinach at the store because he wants smoothies.

Though apparently he didn't love the smoothie I made tonight, because he told me he didn't think having veggies AND fruit was the best way to make it. Um, we *always* do veggies AND fruit.







Actually, we've recently done fruit-only, but the whole point (IMO) is to make the large quantities of highly nutritious veggies fun and easy to eat.


----------



## alittlesandy (Jan 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *dauphinette*
> 
> I LOVE this thread and am genuinely turned off by the backlash to it. I mean seriously?


Yes, seriously. Here I try to articulate why, in a positive way and in an attempt to be non-judgmental.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1317731/how-i-have-been-humbled


----------



## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> Well I'd always heard it was bad, also dog manure is bad (or we'd have plenty of that with 3 labs lol). Now I can debunk people who say humanure can't be used! Thanks for the info  This is the first year I haven't had a garden as I was in my first trimester during the time we'd usually plant everything and I just didn't have the energy. I miss it but I don't miss standing in the heat!


no no mama it is GOOD. human's not dogs. its called nightsoil and is the mainstay in many countries. i am not sure about the processing though.

and yes human pee too. v. v. v. good. diluted. just spray on ur veggies. both great fertilizers.

and bone. ground up. bonemeal. not sure if ethics would allow the use of human bonemeal.

and in fact blood too. dont know if you have ever noticed but anywhere a dead animal is buried the next year you see lush vegetation on the mound.

does that mean diva cups should be emptied in the garden?









oh yeah. chicken poop is GREAT too.

in my case i dont really get the crunchy comments, but boy oh boy do i get the 'weird' comment a lot (in a good way, not negative). at 8 i am not even sure what would be a 'crunchy' comment...

and ... only your child meemee would ask for that.

dd's fav. food - roasted brocolli, cauliflower, kohlrabi and brussel sprouts in the oven drizzled with olive oil and at the end for dd lightly drizzled with maple syrup.

pistachio icecream

dd stillllll prefers cosleeping

dd walks upto a nursing mom and tells her she just stopped nursing.


----------



## cwtmommy (Jun 14, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *eclipse*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


Gwenyth Paltrow blames you for everything lol


----------



## NellieKatz (Jun 19, 2009)

I heard a guy on NPR or some other public radio thing, and he said that after a certain period of time (like, years?), all the pathogens would be gone from human poopies, or some such thing.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> Is human poop ok for gardening? I always heard it wasn't.
> 
> And if I had fake breasts(removable) I'm sure my dog would find and chew them up.


----------



## NellieKatz (Jun 19, 2009)

You know, it's funny. I totally understood the lighthearted nature of this thread. It reminded me of the Jeff Foxworthy "*******" bits. But I do also understand where some of the dissenters are coming from.

I'm a newbie-crunchy. I was raised in a traditional, top-down, authoritarian, doctor-is-always-right world. When at age 43 I got pregnant and had gestational diabetes, I went, as I now call it, "into the system"---I was treated as high-risk because of my age and the g.d., and so I had more checkups and things than other people, and even though I started to change my ways (going so far as to get a doula and try to learn hypnobirthing techniques) it really all went out the window with the pain, so I committed the crime of (a) hospital birth (b) listening to doctors who said I was high risk (c) following their advice (d) accepting pain medication for contractions that were the most pain I've ever experienced; it was nightmarish, and (e) after a full weekend of labor, when my dear boy, my great big 10 lbs+ boy, got stuck and would not come out of me no matter how hard I pushed and he went into distress, I committed the final crime of having a C-section.

And I'll tell you what. They did an awesome and skillful job of it. I had a wonderful week of recovery in the hospital and they brought my healthy wonderful little son to me every time he needed to nurse, and waited on me hand and foot the rest of the time. We nursed from birth to, what was it, 3 y.o.? Anyway the story ended so well, but it hurts like hell STILL when I hear crunchy mamas talk about home birth and how great it is...I will never know if trusting my doctor was the right thing to do, or the wrong thing. Was I duped? Was having fear my ultimate crime? I don't know, but I don't feel like part of "the club" when this topic comes up, and I sincerely thought I was doing the right thing.

Maybe accepting the pain drugs was the self-fulfilling prophecy, causing me to need the intervention of a C-section. I had been warned that might happen. But what if it really WAS my son's big giant head? What if it WAS the fact that I was high risk? Did I bring the C-section on myself? That hurts to think about, but I'm frequently not omniscient. So I can identify with those who made other choices or felt that they had to.

I think it could be our own voices judging us, not you guys.


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Storm Bride*
> 
> Well, I'd never met a parent who could stand Elmo, but I knew there must be some...


I don't mind elmo either. I LOVE Grover and Ernie. I like Bert, but only because he's Ernie's Best friend. I wouldn't hang out with him though.


----------



## Chamomile Girl (Nov 4, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *nextcommercial*
> 
> I don't mind elmo either. I LOVE Grover and Ernie. I like Bert, but only because he's Ernie's Best friend. I wouldn't hang out with him though.


I am now always reminded of the Evil Bert site. Don't think I can link it but a google search will provide.

When I was a kid Grover was my favorite, but for some reason I now associate the name Grover with dirty old men (dude, that pervy guy is such a Grover!).

Don't know why...


----------



## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *nextcommercial*
> 
> I don't mind elmo either. I LOVE Grover and Ernie. I like Bert, but only because he's Ernie's Best friend. I wouldn't hang out with him though.


I like most of the Sesame Street cast (Big Bird's a bit annoying). But, Elmo's voice grates on me and I'm pretty sure that Elmo's World melts preschool brains into pudding (or maybe that's just mine).


----------



## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> no no mama it is GOOD. human's not dogs. its called nightsoil and is the mainstay in many countries. i am not sure about the processing though.
> 
> ...


Hey, if you're already putting humanure, blood and bone in your garden and spraying your vegetables with urine you may as well empty the diva cups there. I don't see how that would be *too bizarre* considering.


----------



## Katie T (Nov 8, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *alittlesandy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


People that nurse and work are honestly my hero. I speak from experience because I tried it once and made it till 6 months when my supply dried up and I went to formula. Kudos!


----------



## matte (Dec 26, 2010)

Uh, if you follow the nightsoil path please be aware that people who live in countries in which this agricultural practice is common also RELIGIOUSLY soak their produce in a bleach solution before preparation / consumption to avoid hep and other feces-borne pathogens, as well as to reduce the risk of infant and pediatric diarrhea. Nightsoil can also lead to contamination of the water supply in these places, increasing the risk of infant, pediatric, and geriatric diarrhea, which are serious health risks (and thus cause a need for various methods of sterilizing drinking water, e.g. boiling [expensive use of fuel], and the addition of iodine and chlorine bleach).

I've spent a lot of my life living in places that follow this form of agricultural practice, and while it does increase yields, it is certainly not problem-free. I am sure that with proper precautions these negative results could be avoided.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *meemee*
> 
> no no mama it is GOOD. human's not dogs. its called nightsoil and is the mainstay in many countries. i am not sure about the processing though.
> 
> ...


----------



## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

1. If you're not a debater, you come up with creative and evasive answers when the vaccine topic comes up. "Oh, my kids have everything they need right now....."









2. You can name 5 different uses each for tea tree oil, coconut oil, and distilled white vinegar.

3. The power company wants to audit you because they suspect you're tampering with your meter when you're really just line-drying your clothes.

4. It occurs to you just how giant your baby's cloth diapered bum looks next to her disposable-diapered peers.

5. You're constantly defining "new" words and terms for the moms in your play group, such as "lotus birth," Snappis, and "mei tai."

6. You can never get through a doctor visit without the doc lifting a brow and drawling out the words, "Hmmmmm, I seeeeeee...." while cryptically making a note in your chart.


----------



## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *NellieKatz*
> 
> I think it could be our own voices judging us, not you guys.










We've all felt that feeling of defensiveness for somehow not measuring up to some "standard" as a parent. There are both "crunchy" and "mainstream" parents who are guilty of creating, perpetuating, and claiming to live up to some Ideal of parenting. That was not, however, the intent of this thread.

For a light-hearted look at moral snobbery in "crunchy" parenting, I recommend the movie, Away We Go with Maya Rudolph and John Krasinksi. Hilarity ensues when the couple visits a "crunchy" family in Wisconsin.....


----------



## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

Okay, I'll play, even though I also posted in the cancel-out-crunchy-MDCness thread:

The other day, DD saw a bug on the sidewalk and said: "Oh sweetie, are you looking for your mama?"


----------



## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *matte*
> 
> Uh, if you follow the nightsoil path please be aware that people who live in countries in which this agricultural practice is common also RELIGIOUSLY soak their produce in a bleach solution before preparation / consumption to avoid hep and other feces-borne pathogens, as well as to reduce the risk of infant and pediatric diarrhea. Nightsoil can also lead to contamination of the water supply in these places, increasing the risk of infant, pediatric, and geriatric diarrhea, which are serious health risks (and thus cause a need for various methods of sterilizing drinking water, e.g. boiling [expensive use of fuel], and the addition of iodine and chlorine bleach).
> 
> I've spent a lot of my life living in places that follow this form of agricultural practice, and while it does increase yields, it is certainly not problem-free. I am sure that with proper precautions these negative results could be avoided.












FTR there are things done in "many countries" that I would never partake in.


----------



## HeatherB (Jan 30, 2003)

There are always going to be things in this life that we can't control or don't know if we made good choices or regret, etc., etc., etc. Whether it's how we birthed (I've had both the unnecessary c/s because I wasn't brave enough to kick the OB out and stay home, as well as 3 home births), or how we feed our children, or what we look like or how we eat or how much we exercise or what toys we buy or how much we spend (or don't) or whatever. There is NO perfection. None of us has it, and we ALL have area we struggle with on very real levels.

I hope that we can all have grace to allow ourselves AND others to be proud of things we're proud of even if we, ourselves, can't take that same pride. Surely, though, we have other things we CAN take pride in.

Being an attached parent isn't about whether you got to do everything you would've done in an ideal world. It's about being connected to your child and meeting his or her needs in the best ways you possibly can. It's NOT about following a rule-book. It's NOT about scoring 100 on the Crunchy Quiz. It's about loving your children and doing the best you can. And well fail, and we all make mistakes, and for every cute quip we've got about something our child said or something funny someone said about our hippie ways, the reality is we all have things we're NOT telling. (I'm pretty sure there's already a spinoff thread for that, though!







)

Anyway, I encourage everyone to be gracious and generous towards each other - including ourselves! Have a laugh, take what works for you, and leave the rest.


----------



## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I think the only "crunchy" marker I have is that I'm kind of the go-to person in my neighborhood for that kind of thing. If someone is pregnant and wanting to breastfeed, they're told to ask Suzanne about it, she knows! Same for birth choices, cloth diapering, and anything else along those lines.


----------



## velochic (May 13, 2002)

My crunchy marker is that I remember when you used to be able to have these kinds of fun threads at MDC and not get shot down for talking about your crunch factor... because people were sharing ideas and laughter instead of getting offended and having pissing contests.


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

OOH I got the a high score on that how crunchy are you test. It was like super grape nut granola or something crunchy lol

*I* always though crunchy was more about being eco-friendly and minimalistic than our parenting choices? Can't you be super crunchy and not even be a parent?


----------



## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> *I* always though crunchy was more about being eco-friendly and minimalistic than our parenting choices? Can't you be super crunchy and not even be a parent?


Yes, that is what I always thought too. I don't think we used to call it crunchy in the old days (back when I was young), but DH and I were called crunchy way before we had DD. Like I said in the not-so-crunchy thread, I didn't even know until I came to MDC that certain parenting practices were considered crunchy. I just assumed that crunchiness was a result of an overall lifestyle choice.


----------



## GardenStream (Aug 21, 2007)

I have a couple...

1. When your most crunchy AP friends, call your family extreme. We were floored by this one because we consider them to be extreme. We're just on different extremes









2. When the cloth diapering, breast feeding, delayed vax, crunchiest doctor you could find says, "Congratulations... that's one I've never heard before" when you mention tandem bfing for 2 years.


----------



## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

I thought of another one.

You might be crunchy if.....you can identify and decode all of the crunchy alphabet soup: CIO, MIC, CD, NAK, NIP, UC, GD, EBF.......


----------



## Katie T (Nov 8, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> OOH I got the a high score on that how crunchy are you test. It was like super grape nut granola or something crunchy lol
> 
> *I* always though crunchy was more about being eco-friendly and minimalistic than our parenting choices? Can't you be super crunchy and not even be a parent?


I agree and as our children age and grow out of cloth diapering and bfing and such. Doesn't mean we are less "crunchy." I think it is a life style that spills over into parenting if we choose to let it/have children. : )


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Only one IDK is MIC! What is that?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Turquesa*
> 
> I thought of another one.
> 
> You might be crunchy if.....you can identify and decode all of the crunchy alphabet soup: CIO, MIC, CD, NAK, NIP, UC, GD, EBF.......


----------



## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> Only one IDK is MIC! What is that?


Made in China.


----------



## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *new2this*
> 
> Yeah by some of these comments here I would be considered very mainstream. Which I guess I am. We breastfed but now on formula, co sleep for a short time. But don't cloth diaper. I let DD watch TV, we dont' eat organic foods but a few items and even those are rare. . I fed DD from a jar. Gave birth at the hospital with an epidural. will be circing if we have a boy and so on. But I don't find that I fit in either category mainstream or AP. I parent on how I feel is right or natural to me and DH. The only thing that matters to me is that my daughter and soon to be born baby know that they are loved and that DH and I are their safe place. I come here because there is a lot of information here that has been helpful even if I haven't asked for myself. I mean I never would have known the safety of RF till 2 at the earliest. And things like that.


Hi new2this! I'm glad you found your way to this site and have gained insight into some really important information like extended RF and have found some friends to hang out with....

But let me get this straight, you came to MDC and you really like it, that's great, but you realize that MDC is a NFL site, right? Of course you do. That doesn't mean you don't get to come and have fun over here, because there are very many varying degrees of what it means to be striving for natural family living. But here's the list of things you just threw out there:

1. Formula Feed

2. Jar Food Feed

3. Diaper with sposies

4. TV watch

5. Rarely eat organic food

and, the one that makes my heart cry:

6. You WILL circ any son of yours.

...and yet you walked onto this thread and were all "I totally don't understand why there has to be this sort of judgement on this site" - are you serious? This is a site for people who are striving to live an AP lifestyle. I wouldn't judge you for the way you feed your family, or for FF or any of those things because there are SO many reasons that you could do those things that have nothing to do with your ideal parenting situation. For all I know, you realize that (truly)oraganic food and baby food not from a jar are superior, but don't have the money to buy them (I have to grow my own and barter with farmers, because it IS so expensive) - but the way you are saying these things is not like "I wanted to breastfeed, but it fell through" or "I wanted a natural birth, but ended up with something different" - you're more like "this is my ideal, this is the way we choose to live and I'm proud of it and you have to accept it". Am I not reading you correctly?

The reason I belong to this site, is because I believe that there are VERY important reasons WHY I choose the things I choose. It's hard not to have TV. It's HARRRDDD for me to cloth diaper. I have to do so much finagling and juggling to afford to feed my family whole, completely organic, in season food...raising our own chickens and rabbits for eggs and meat means I'm tied down to my home SO hard and can't travel the way I'd like to and it takes work and planning...but I do it because I can't afford organic meat and because I don't trust store bought organic eggs. I'M STRIVING FOR SOMETHING here and this site is a place where I can come to trade notes and feel proud of these accomplishments, as opposed to really weird, which is how a lot of people in real life try to make me feel for my choices.

The thread "You might be crunchy IF..." isn't about knocking moms who don't adhere to the letter on EVERY single "AP" ideal...it's about celebrating the fact that when you make a decision to dedicate your life to the natural family living practices and try to come AS CLOSE as possible to the "AP model" it takes a lot of hard work and planning and thinking, etc.

I'm not saying that you are a bad parent, I know your children are loved, will be well cared for always and will grow up to be just as smart, well educated and confident as anyone elses children on these boards...but when while your kid is watching TV, mine is with me, making every single task I have to complete during the day a little more complicated because I've got a three year old "helping" and a 19 month old hanging from my boob, or they are enjoying an art project I've planned for them which takes time and makes a mess, etc. While your baby is eating out of a jar, I'm grinding away with a food mill. While you are going to the store to pick up a pre-packaged chicken and a box of rice pilaf, I'm in my yard, plucking an animal I raised from a hatchling so I can stew it or finishing up the brain tanning of a rabbit hide that will serve as a trade for food from an organic farm down the road.

Yeah, your kid is probably not going to die from your disposable diapers.....but this is a site where women come to be proud of the intense effort (at least for me, I HATE CD!) it takes to be washing and hanging and keeping track of CDs. This is a site for women to come and not be weird for composting their poop. Where we can be proud of a three year breastfeeding milestone instead of just being the "weird one at moms group" who is "still nursing that kid even though he's practically in college!" - I mean, come ON, WHERE can I come to brag a little on the efforts I'm making? Where can I be, where it's okay to be proud of the fact that my parenting ideal requires a bit more effort, planning and patience than a "mainstream" one, if not here on MDC?

You think your parenting is the best you can give your kids. I think my parenting is the best I can give my kids. I think we're both right. I also think you should not feel so comfortable coming onto a thread --for the sole purpose of bashing-- that is basically titled:

"In what ways do you feel your family is coming closest to reaching the absolute ideal family living situation as outlined by the philosophy that this website is based around?"

Because that's what this thread is about...and you came onto this thread and said:

"Here are all the ways I'm NOT trying to live the values of the philosophy this site is based on, plus I'm absolutely going to mutilate my future sons genitals...BUT I'm really into extended rear facing"

Again, your values and parenting choices are not what I'm judging, I'm questioning the judgment behind your insistence that members of this site not be able to openly celebrate their AP/Crunchy lifestyle choices on a website specifically created for the discussion of said choices.

The only part of your post I acutually judge you for, is the circumcision comment. Because WOW. We have plenty of mamas on here who learned too late about circ, or who felt bullied into it or just didn't think to question it...THAT, fits here just fine because everyone makes mistakes and sometimes you just don't know. But being exposed to the information and how huge a deal that issue is to women on this site and then openly and brazenly (really, like you're PROUD of the choice) saying that you absolutely are PLANNING to make a parenting choice that undermines the basic, most important, underlying concept of the philosophy of this entire website (don't harm your kids)....I just don't understand what you want this place to be.

You came onto a thread that was all about "how is your family trying to live by the NFL standards" - and you came on and were like "In most ways, the NFL is not really for us, but I don't think people on this site should be so "judgy" against us more mainstream types" - it's not about judging what YOU choose to be, it's about celebration of the efforts we make to be what this WHOLE WEBSITE is about. We all know that parenthood is humbling and that a lot of things fly out the window when we're actually in the trenches...but how come this site went from "here is why I'm so proud to be AP/Crunchy/NFL/whatever you want to call it" - to "Here are all the ways my mainstream parenting is just as good as your not to mainstream parenting" - ??

I'm not saying "there are other websites for YOUR kind of parenting" - I'm saying:

I bet our kids would be so much alike if they ever met in real life and I bet they close their eyes just as happy and feeling just as loved at night. But um, when you see a thread that celebrates NFL on this site, if you don't have anything nice to contribute, could you just not say anything??" - that's all.

As always, sorry for the novel. It's a sickness, I know, I can't seem to cure it so....


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Turquesa*
> 
> Made in China.


After the 2008 Olympics, DD1 now thinks MIC is a great, special thing.


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

My kid and I watch TV together.

I am so tired of people positioning themselves as superiors human beings "We do not have TV".

TV is not better than books. No more than opera is better than ballet. Those are different art forms. There is bad books and bad TV.

We love TV and we are avid book readers. My video game TV watching kids attended more museums, seen more opera, ballet and Broadway musical than any of my none TV watching friends.

They cook from scratch with me and they incorporate ideas we saw on cooking shows. They recognize literary allusion in Simpson's and Futurama.

Shows like Six Feet Under have amazing writers and complex idea developments. So does War and Peace.

When I was in colleges (degree in Literature with honors), I remember all my classmate going on and on about evil of TV. Funny thing is, they also complain who they have no time to read or write all that was assigned to us.

I find entire idea of competing for "I am the crunchiest " kind of sad. I did not breastfeed or use cotton diapers or modified my career so I could get medal for that. it worked for us but it does not mean we are better parents.

Years from now, when you see bunch of young kids in college, you will not be able to say who was BF till 2, who ate organic food and who was in the sling , and who was in the stroller. What you will see is who was truly loved by his parents and grew up knowing it. And while organic food is nice, that is not what makes kid feel loved.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> My kid and I watch TV together.
> 
> ...


Right, but on this site, it's perfectly acceptable to celebrate the things we do because we CARE about trying to closer to our IDEAL of family living. I understand exactly what you mean about TV and the fact that there are a thousand things your kids could do that waste just as much time. My problem with TV goes beyond time wasting (and I readily admit that all TV is not wasting time, there IS some FABULOUS programming out there). I actually think it's physically not healthy for young minds. I don't think that makes me better than you, but I DO think that I have a right to come onto this site, a place to champion alternative/natural family living and talk about the ways in which I'm striving for my ideal natural family life WITHOUT being bashed.

The truth is, I rarely post on these kinds of threads...but I read them and I think to myself "WOW! I never thought to do that, what an interesting way to repurpose xyz" and "COOOOL who knew you could eat xyz" and "YOU GO GIRL, I don't have the time and patience for THAT level of composting" - I'm HAPPY to read about all the ways in which my fellow mamas are reaching for a higher standard of NFL because that's why I come to this site.

Every once in a while, I'll go somewhere and the only food available will be crappy food and I never blink and eye at it, I will let my kids have it because those time are so few and far between. But unless it's on a "Ugh, I'm totally having an off day, my kids ate fishsticks for lunch...how do you sometimes not reach your goals for healthy/crunchy living!?" thread, you won't hear me talking about it. Not because I'm ashamed, but because this is not an outlet for "bragging" on "That awesome time I fed my kids bottom of the barrel food as far as content is concerned" - it's a site for "let's share NFL strategies/stories/etc".

Like I said, I don't care if people come here who are MOSTLY mainstream, some of the best writers and most clever mamas here are not as into the "hardcore" stuff. But how is it that lately, any time you see a mama standing up and saying "I'm really proud of how I xyz, I think this is SO good and really in line with NFL" - you get the pack of hecklers who come along and take that mama down a notch or two for daring to "snob" at mamas who aren't composting their poop?

I'm not proud of my efforts because I think I'm better than anyone else....I'm proud of my efforts because I examined a set of principles and said "yes, that is the lifestyle I want" and now I break my back, sacrifice financially and have had to learn a LOT to make that lifestyle a reality for my family. I'm PROUD of who I am.....and I will humbly admit that I am not better than anyone and have many, many faults.


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Turquesa*
> 
> I thought of another one.
> 
> You might be crunchy if.....you can identify and decode all of the crunchy alphabet soup: CIO, MIC, CD, NAK, NIP, UC, GD, EBF.......


I know 6 out of 8...so I guess I am about 75% crunchy (which is pretty accuarate, btw)


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

There is a letter or the law and there is spirit of the law.

My mom gave birth to me with zero interventions. I slept in her bed till 2 and weaned when I felt like it. My mom only used cloth diapers. All the food was made from scratch. Summers were spent in the country raising chickens, picking berries, weeding the garden and drinking milk from the grass fed cows. I was home taught till age 7. We had very little TV and tons of books. My brother was no cirked. I had few plastic toys and my grandma sewed all the clothes for my doll. 90% of the time my mothers used natural remedies like herbs and cupping and energy healers.

Oh, what a wonder full AP, holistic life I had as child.

My brother grew up to be a drug addict. I am still in therapy.

I grew up in Russia where this is the way life was back then and no one patted each other on the back and attached any special spiritual meaning to it.

I would rather be born via c/s, formula fed, and send to day care. I would rather my mothers took thing like Lithium and Abilify. I would rather she had full time job instead of working from home. and did not drink. Our entire life was punctuated by her manic-depressive episodes and drinking binges. But yes, cloth diapers and breastfeeding. Hooray. My mom filled out the AP checklist.

Middle class American are very privileged people compare to the rest of the world. Everything they do has special meaning and spiritual significance from ho their child fed to how their child poops. In the rest of the world, it just called life. In the rest of the world, some women would actually like epidural, and ability to work outside the home and have some childcare. In the rest of the world, women would like choices. I come from another time and another country and I never seize to amazed how amazingly self centered American are. Guess what, the rest of the universe and the rest of the world does not care. All over the world people do many of the thing that is called AP here without books, $$$ workshops and special products, martyrdom self congratulatory attitude.

P.S. A tip from the old world. You do not need so spend hour reading "How to Feed your Baby", and to spend hours with the food mill. You can just, gaps, mash or blend with a handheld blender whatever food the rest of the family is eating and feed that to your baby.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> There is a letter or the law and there is spirit of the law.
> 
> ...


I have never read a book on parenting. I never spent a dime on a workshop. I use a food mill because rabbit comes out better that way - other things I just feed the way I'm eating them. I do not think I am the center of the world. I congratulate myself because I work really hard at running a homestead...I left an extremely lucrative career to throw myself into building a selfsufficient life and I'm rockin' it, I'm not going to shy away from shouting out that I'm happy and that I'm really proud for how much I've taught myself and the incredible shift I've accomplished in my life over the last decade.

I'm sorry for the way you were raised, I too, was raised by a manic depressive who spent have her time hitting us and screaming and the other half of the time ignoring us while she lay in bed crying. We were also raised with the simple, whole food and lots of time in the dirt....simply for the fact that we were so poor. I don;t know how to use words to make you know how wrong you are about my worldview, so I'll just say: You're wrong.

Perhaps for me, the reason I make such a big deal out of raising my children gently, with so much attachment and painstaking attention to the details that make up their whole life picture, is that I'm scared to death that somewhere inside of me, lurks the legacy of the women in my family. I don't want to hit. I don't want to yell. I don't want to shame...and sometimes, when it's a hectic day, I feel these things rising in me. It takes a lot of focus to remain calm and easy and gentle. I was raised wrong, in those regards. I was raised with good food, rich culture, road trips and books....but not gently. Sometimes I wish things had been different for me, but mostly I'm just glad it will be different for my kids.

Maybe AP is my religion and these rites I perform -the way I launder their clothes and speak to them and play with them instead of ignoring them - are the ritual that keep me bound to an idea all day of peace and connectedness instead of distance and criticism and shortness and yelling.

Regardless of why I am AP, or whether or not I believe I am the center of the universe.....when I come to an AP forum, I have a right to expect like minds, not bashing for talking about what it is we all supposedly came here to discuss.


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

Yes, AP became a religion to some people, a cult. Just like Dr Spock and Dr Ferber and BabyWise is to others. You fail to see the irony, really?

and I think when a good idea becomes a religious and a dogma and people feel compelled to fulfill things on the NP cheklist without critical thinking...that is sad.

At any rater, I have to go. My kids and I learning the intricaise of Englsih triffle from scratch today.. We learned about it on the EVIL TV after we went to our organic farmer market.

P.S> No one ever beat me or hit me. It is insulting that you assumet that every mentally ill person is violent.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

I find this very repulsive and IDK why you feel the need to talk down to people. I DID grow up in an abusive home BTW and my mom was a manic depressive who killed herself. There was no AP there was nothing normal! No day care! We were , FF, CIO, neglected children. Oh but we we were so lucky right?! We lived in AMERICA were the things I have seen and have had happen to me "don't really happen" and everyone can just put on their fake smiles and pretend everything is just GREAT!

SO WHAT if I read a frikin book on something I am trying to aspire to?! Should I go beat my kids b/c I was raised that way. Maybe everyone didn't have it as GOOD as you even with your issues! You come on here discounting everything I aspire to to try and do what I feel is best for my children. AP is my rock to fall back on when I have no clue and no GOOD advice as to what constitutes as being a loving parent. Without MDC I would have found none of this and I would still be trying to do that stupid Baby Whisperer garbage I read about and be miserable and hate the mother I was. All I am trying to do is be a good mother and yet everyone IRL and now even on MDC can bash my core beliefs?

NEWS FLASH you can grow up horribly and miserable in the U.S. but OMG those people in other counties who wear there babies all day and BF and co-sleep until they are 2 boy do I feel bad for them b/c here I can work my butt off to the day I die and have nothing to show for it (except a bunch of useless garbage) b/c that is the reality in the U.S. for a lot of people!

WHY do you feel the need to come on here and start writing all of this garbage?

Obviously you are ignorant of what it can really be like here, there is nothing so magical about the US that everything is hunky dory for everyone.

Edited to add: But at least I have a choice (well once I turn 18 anyway or in my case 15 when I became homeless) b/c this is a "free" country and all right? That makes the hell I have been through worth living here!

You may say "well that's an extreme case though so it doesn't count" but your mom being an alcoholic manic depressive would not be the "norm" either!

Quote


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> There is a letter or the law and there is spirit of the law.
> 
> ...


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

OMG I actually grew up in a cult too! A REAL cult. It was scary as hell. Being an AP mom is NOT a cult.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> Yes, AP became a religion to some people, a cult. Just like Dr Spock and Dr Ferber and BabyWise is to others. You fail to see the irony, really?
> 
> ...


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> Yes, AP became a religion to some people, a cult. Just like Dr Spock and Dr Ferber and BabyWise is to others. You fail to see the irony, really?
> 
> ...


I never said that all mentally ill people are violent. You are obviously intent on hating my guts...perhaps religion was the wrong word to use. Whatever...I'm not going to try and change your mind about me. I'm sorry we can't understand each other better.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

well my attempt to be humorous might be taken the wrong way given the tone of this thread, so I'm removing my post...


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## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

Well lets see maybe loose the judgmental condescending tone..K thanks. Because I know what this site is about. I go to the parts that I find helpful and stay out of the rest. I don't go preaching that my way is the way to do things. And save your sadness about circ. Didn't promote it and didn't ask for your input on it. And really by your post here pretty much the way I read it is since I do the things I do I don't belong here. I belong here just as much as you do.

Just because I do a few "mainstream" things doesn't mean I am not doing what is best for my family and my children. I don't do CIO, we co slept till DD decided it wasn't working. I try really hard to keep from having mommy guilt and make my informed choices by doing the research but also with going with what works for us. I don't force my views on anyone here. Like I said I stay out of the boards that have no use to me. And if by chance I go in there its because something caught my eye and I read it and if I feel like commenting I do but its rare.

I breastfed for the first 5/6 months of her life. I fully intended to go to at least 1. But became pregnant and for my own personal health reasons there is no way I would have survived nursing her as well as grow a healthy baby. I would have become very ill. My body does not absorb nutrients like normal people. I have to get tested at least once a year to have my levels checked and each time I still am borderline. So yeah lets see nurse because that is best for DD but yet take a chance and end up extremely ill and not give my baby a chance to be born healthy. As far as how I birthed. I went in with a natural med free birth plan. I couldn't do it and I feel no guilt for changing my mind and saying m plan wasn't going to work I need to change it. So there are just a few reasons. Oh and my child is with me ALL THE TIME. The only time she has been away from me is when I go grocery shopping and she is with DH. When she was a newborn she spent 45 minutes with my mom while DH and I had to go to a meeting. Oh I did leave her with my dad too once for 20 minutes to run to the store. Outside of that my child is with me all the dam time. I don't plop her in front of the TV and sit on my ass to do something else. I watch TV. Its on all day but more for noise. We listen to a lot of music around here. She does watch 30 minutes a day though so I can safely make breakfast for the rest of the family while DH is getting ready for work.

Editing to remove a comment that was knee jerk reaction.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AverysMomma*
> 
> Hi new2this! I'm glad you found your way to this site and have gained insight into some really important information like extended RF and have found some friends to hang out with....
> 
> ...


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *new2this*
> 
> Well lets see maybe loose the judgmental condescending tone..K thanks. Because I know what this site is about. I go to the parts that I find helpful and stay out of the rest. I don't go preaching that my way is the way to do things. And save your sadness about circ. Didn't promote it and didn't ask for your input on it. And really by your post here pretty much the way I read it is since I do the things I do I don't belong here. I belong here just as much as you do.


I have no issues with people using the parts of AP that work for them and ignoring the rest. The area where it becomes difficult for me is where harm is involved, particularly to children- and I mean real harm, not, "oh, poor baby is having non-organic mushed beans harm". Circing is one of those areas. RIC is rejected by many, many people for very valid reasons.

I am not sure you should post that you intend to circ on a public forum devoted to AP/NFL and expect it to go unchallenged. I wouldn't let it go unchallenged anywhere.


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## BeeandOwlsMum (Jul 11, 2002)

Hi folks. This is a very interesting thread, and I have found myself nodding along as I read to much of what everyone have to say.

Let's remember a couple of things: We are here because we want the best for our kids, or we wouldn't have sought out this site. There are people on the other side of that keyboard, and you don't know them, or their whole story, only what you have read here. So, keep it civil, and respectful.

Lastly, remember it is okay to laugh at ourselves. Sometimes what we do, and get worked up about can seem pretty wacky to others.


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## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

I am not going to get into it. I stay away from the debates about it. For us we are not doing just because we have our reasons. We have done our research. And that is that. I do not go around promoting it, I don't care if people challenge it that is their right. And many people still do it for many valid reasons. Just because they don't go with your reasons doesn't make them any less valid. But I am done with it now.

My problem was the way the thread came off as a I am better then you type thing. And I also made a second post in here saying I probably did overreact. I even stayed out of it till I was quoted. Because the fact is I take what i find helpful and toss out the rest if I don't agree with it or find it don't fit our family. I parent the way that I feel is right, in ways that come natural and very open minded in that if something doesn't work accepting it and changing it even if it goes against what I think it might not be right for my family.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kathymuggle*
> 
> I have no issues with people using the parts of AP that work for them and ignoring the rest. The area where it becomes difficult for me is where harm is involved, particularly to children- and I mean real harm, not, "oh, poor baby is having non-organic mushed beans harm". Circing is one of those areas. RIC is rejected by many, many people for very valid reasons.
> 
> I am not sure you should post that you intend to circ on a public forum devoted to AP/NFL and expect it to go unchallenged. I wouldn't let it go unchallenged anywhere.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *new2this*
> 
> <snip> I go to the parts that I find helpful and stay out of the rest. I don't go preaching that my way is the way to do things.<snip>


If only this were the case. See, all I'm asking, is that you do just ^that^. When you are on this site, because, as you have expressed, there are many things about NFL you don't find particularly appealing or necessary, you will often run into topics which are completely on point and relevant to many mamas here who DO find more of the NFL "checklist" appealing and necessary...but that aren't helpful or fun for you to discuss. That is okay, normal, even. There are many many times when I run into a topic on here that I don't post about, because it wouldn't be helpful for me or the people on the thread.

If you were on this site to participate in the threads you find helpful and "stay out of the rest" we wouldn't be having this conversation right now, would we? As far as preaching that your way is the way to do things....no, you shouldn't, because it's not. Neither is mine ***in regards to the overall community on this site*** the "way to do things" is the NFL/AP way....so, to sum up:

If you find a thread that is labeled: "in what ways are you striving for an AP/NFL lifestyle" - you have encountered something which fits with the overall theme of this website and the basic reason the whole site/magazine was created in the first place. If you don't "find the thread helpful" and, therefore, only feel like you have negative things to say, you should "stay out of it" and go find other topics to post on which are relevant and "helpful" to your brand of NFL.

Should you find a thread that is labeled something like "I'm planning to circ my sons" - you have encountered a thread which does not in any way shape of form fit with the overall theme of this website and the basic reason this whole site/magazine was created in the first place. If you don't find the thread helpful, you can move on, but if you feel like posting something negative/informative/discouraging to the OP...you should, because your comment would fit just fine with the basic principles of the philosophy we're supposed to all be here to enjoy and celebrate together.

I have no doubt that you are a good mother. I do not wish you to feel shame at your birth not being what you originally intended. I know all about how it feels to have a breastfeeding relationship cut short. I'm not judging those things, it's not my place and I genuinely to not see those things as failures.

All I'm asking you to do, is not go around expressing support for circ (a proud declaration that you "definitely plan to circ any sons" IS supporting it and on THIS site it WILL get you input) and to please resist the urge to come onto a thread celebrating all the things that mamas here feel make them "AP/NFL" and start talking about how "AP moms need to stop being so high and mighty just cause they choose a different path than "mainstream" moms.

We're all doing our best for our kids with what we've got. But THIS site DOES actually support and inform about a certain path above others.

P.S.: Kudos to you on parenting from the heart and gut. That IS a big part of NFL and you DO belong here, I never tried to say you don't and if my tone conveyed that, my most sincere apologies. It's not my place to decide who belongs here, I don't for a second believe that I am so great that I can totally scoff and be like "oh, so-and-so doesn't "get it" she totally doesn't belong here" - that's not even me. I just want to be able to read an awesome thread where mamas brag about all the cool, labor intensive, inventive and unknown to me ways that they are interpreting and living AP, without the snide remarks about "oh, I'm AP because I think I'm totally the coolest :eyeroll:" - you know? Like, seriously, I'm SO sick of that around here. It's a freakin' AP site. Come on!


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *new2this*
> 
> I am not going to get into it. I stay away from the debates about it. For us we are not doing just because we have our reasons. We have done our research. And that is that. I do not go around promoting it, I don't care if people challenge it that is their right. And many people still do it for many valid reasons. Just because they don't go with your reasons doesn't make them any less valid. But I am done with it now.
> 
> My problem was the way the thread came off as a I am better then you type thing. And I also made a second post in here saying I probably did overreact. I even stayed out of it till I was quoted. Because the fact is I take what i find helpful and toss out the rest if I don't agree with it or find it don't fit our family. I parent the way that I feel is right, in ways that come natural and very open minded in that if something doesn't work accepting it and changing it even if it goes against what I think it might not be right for my family.


There is not a valid reason. (<feel free to challenge that statement with a valid reason to circ.) On this site there are many people who spend a great deal of time engaged in the battle to challenge, at every turn, the absolutely false notion that there is any humane, logical or valid reason to mutilate the genitalia of a human baby girl OR boy. THIS SITE is not for THAT SENTIMENT.

If I cannot change your "pro-circ" mentality, fine, but it is insulting, disheartening and very very odd for you to throw that sentiment around on this site with an attitude like "so what, it's my choice" - when one of the main reasons so many people who frequent this site fight so hard against circ is because we realize that it's ACTUALLY NOT your choice at all....or at least, IT SHOULDN'T BE.

YOU are welcome on this site(not because I say so, it's just a fact). CIRC is not welcome on this site(not because I say it's not, it's just a fact). Please go to the "Case again Circumcision" board and look for the subforum labeled "I'm Choosing To Circ" - let me save you time: It's not there. Unless you seek to make people uncomfortable or are very confused, I don't know why you would act like it's not going to be a big deal that you proudly defend your "right" to circ your son.

Sorry for the harsh tone, but that issue is kind of a biggie for me. Actually, a WICKED biggie.


----------



## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *new2this*
> 
> I am not going to get into it. I stay away from the debates about it. For us we are not doing just because we have our reasons. We have done our research. And that is that. I do not go around promoting it, I don't care if people challenge it that is their right. And many people still do it for many valid reasons. Just because they don't go with your reasons doesn't make them any less valid. But I am done with it now.
> 
> My problem was the way the thread came off as a I am better then you type thing. And I also made a second post in here saying I probably did overreact. I even stayed out of it till I was quoted. Because the fact is I take what i find helpful and toss out the rest if I don't agree with it or find it don't fit our family. I parent the way that I feel is right, in ways that come natural and very open minded in that if something doesn't work accepting it and changing it even if it goes against what I think it might not be right for my family.


You've researched? Then you know that circumcision is not a good idea. Think of all of the women (your future sons' future wives) who've had to deal with issues of vaginal dryness, or being too loose, when the real issue is that their partners are circumcised. You know that your future circumcised son would have less sensation than intact men. You know that the foreskin is an important part of male anatomy. Yes, there may be issues but it's the same as with vaginas and breasts, but we don't cut them off as preventative care.

I was going to circumcise any sons that I had as well until I really did become informed. I thought it was just done, but it's not. People do it for emotional reasons as well as religious reasons (same with female circumcision.) I've seen some major damage done by circumcision. Pulled too tight, adhesions, tip cut off, scarring, impotence, curved in a way that made sex extremely uncomfortable. No way in hell would I inflict that on my son. I wouldn't do that to his future wife either. I get so mad when I see women's bodies blamed for the harm that circumcision does. All those commercials about curing vaginal dryness and hearing of surgeries to tighten vaginae. Men who can only have anal sex because of insensitive penises. Ugh, I'm so glad I got informed in time.

Here's a study if you're interested.

http://www.examiner.com/family-health-in-washington-dc/new-study-male-circumcision-and-sexual-difficulties-for-men-and-female-partners?fb_comment=34449916


----------



## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *new2this*
> 
> For us we are not doing just because we have our reasons. We have done our research. And that is that.


mama please do your research again. perhaps you looked at research from one perspective. try looking at the other perspective.

unless you have religious reasons (and again i know even many parents ARE ignoring that) reasons, can you really watch your son being circumcised?

most mothers - not all - have stated saying its really, really hard on them to watch, be there for the whole circumsicion procedure.

do your research please.

early 1900s US had one of hte highest low birth rate births in the world. why? because if you followed the research then, they all suggested women should be starved during pregnancy. OBs regularly put 3rd trimester women on bread adn water only diet to stop them from gaining weight. the people who refused to believe the doctors had regular births.


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## hippymama23 (Jan 2, 2011)

I was really turned off by the comment about keeping score. It's this lkind of that mom vs. this mom mentality which breaks our tribe. We're all moms and yes there are some shitty freaking moms out there doing some really bad things to their kids, but I believe the majority of moms and parents are trying to be better parents and love their children. I can't put my finger on where the disdain and judgement manifests from, but it is there between moms. Stop judging. Just be a good mom, and your leading by example may influence a new mom and help an insecure mom. Women have such incredible power to uplift each other and empower each other through support and women's grace, but we need to stop fighting each other, talking smack, and being catty. I am speaking universally, not specific to this particular thread.

I have made a very good friend in this forum because this mom was nonjudgemental and honest to the bone with me. I was able to tell her my fears, my frustrations, and my mistakes and she listened and supported me. She also gave her opinion, but she did without judging me. I am so grateful to her.


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## MamaMunchkin (Feb 3, 2011)

Dear Alenushka,

I'm very sorry about your mom - I wish things had worked out better.









I'm writing hoping to add something to this discussion from a different perspective.

In my own life, the so-called AP checklists, for a lack of better word, are ways to remind myself to slow down. They serve as reminders to be more present in my parenting. They don't make me a good parent in and by themselves. And they are certainly neither requirements nor guarantees for my offsprings to be happy now or in the future.

It's partly due to my current lifestyle that I need reminders to slow down, in parenting or otherwise. I wish things were different but given my particular constraints (real or imagined







) - the AP approach have served me well to ground myself to the present moment. Instead of rushing to the next task at hand, or instead of worrying about something or other, or whatever else is in the past or in the future, I can be here and now with my children. It doesn't always work, of course







- but it probably happens more often because of AP.

The specific recommendations that AP makes regarding childcare etc - for me, they've facilitated a more mindful parenthood. I guess the bottomline is, for myself, AP has been very helpful - and I'm very grateful to have found it.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> There is a letter or the law and there is spirit of the law.
> 
> ...


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MamaMunchkin*
> 
> Dear Alenushka,
> 
> ...


MamaMunchkin: Thank you for describing exactly what it is that I meant to say in a much more clear and loving tone. When I said that "I guess AP is my religion" - what I really meant is what you said above, that it keeps me tethered and slowed down and "present" in my parenting and mindful that I don't let myself get carried away in zeal and "purpose". I'm too rigid and take things too seriously sometimes and AP helps me to be easy, fun and loving with my kids.

My overwhelming desire in parenting my kids, is to give them a better childhood than I had. But that is a crappy place to come from, it attaches too much baggage and negative emotion....so the vehicle I use for the desire is AP and it makes our WHOLE family SO much better, relaxing and easy going, allowing me to accomplish that goal of not repeating the mistakes my mother made.

Thank you again, you put it into words in such a wonderful way. <3


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## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> My kid and I watch TV together.
> 
> ...


i didn't have anything else to say on the thread.. but.. you're wrong. books ARE better than tv! they ARE! (but 6 feet under is good too.)


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

You might be crunchy if:

Your had to call a plumber because your toddler flushed 2 cloth wipes (used as cloth tp).

You know who Alfie Kohn is, and you have a strong opinion of him.

You have ever tried nut yeast (sorry, I like the shorthand lol) on popcorn. (sorry, I don't think I'll do it again)

You're still amazed at how little compost you get from soooooo much food waste!

The perceived judgement from the first page onward is really wierd. It would never occur to me that someone saying they eat nutritional yeast is equivalent to them saying that if you don't eat it, then you do not belong in the crunchy club.

Just because someone has never owned a crib doesn't make them crunchier than someone who has owned a crib. And them saying that they never owned a crib doesn't mean they are saying that they are better than someone who has owned a crib. I think they are just saying that they've never owned a crib and that's one crunchy thing that they do









And ftr, Elmo doesn't bother me in the least. Neither did Caillou. When ds2 is playing with him Elmo toy, I'm just glad that he's entertained with something and not making a mess or doing something that might hurt him! Oh...you know what else doesn't bother me that bothers about every other person I know? The corn popper toy. Same reason as why Elmo doesn't bother me. It means that ds2 is busy and I don't have to worry about him for at least another 30 seconds. lol.

Just to be clear, I'm not judging anyone who is bothered by those things. It's all good.


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## xzaviers_mama (May 15, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *caedenmomma*
> 
> I thought this thread was funny, not "we are the champions, my friends." I agree with the PPs that say do what you wanna do as long as you love your children. I don't think the OP made this out to be a superiority forum. Just funny.


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## riverscout (Dec 22, 2006)

*


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## xzaviers_mama (May 15, 2009)

So, I read a little more into this thread, and I just don't get why people are getting offended... I mean, I don't do lots of the things that some of the mamas listed, but I NEVER got the feeling that these mamas were trying to imply that they were better than me because of it. I feel like the only reason it would offend me, is if I was insecure with some of the choices I'm making. I'm obviously not, because I can read through all of these, and easily see the humor in them. I also fully understand not being able to share some of these things with my IRL friends, because they'd never get it. (None of my IRL friends/family can understand why in the world I'd choose to CD, or raise my children vegan, or let my babies sleep in my bed until they're ready to move on, etc.)

I just didn't get the "This is why we're better than everyone else" vibe from this thread. At all. *shrugs*


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## happygirlsmomma (Jun 21, 2011)

Because you believe and think of what do you do, for you, and for your family and how would affect your family, the world, and how, and not because you care whatever people thinks about you.

You are informed, dare to look beyond, are open minded and you don't even care if you are crunchy or not.









Seriously, I have seeing so called crunchy parents, that cloth diaper and eat organic and they promote competitiveness on their kids and tell them not to share their organic food because it's too expensive and teach they children to ask if the food that is offered from a little friend at the park if it's organic or not.

Sorry, but for me, you just lost all your crunchiness when they do that.


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## Alenushka (Jul 27, 2002)

I love you (Not in that way, in the online sort of way when people say amazing things)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *happygirlsmomma*
> 
> Because you believe and think of what do you do, for you, and for your family and how would affect your family, the world, and how, and not because you care whatever people thinks about you.
> 
> ...


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## alyadri (May 5, 2011)

Aiye.

I'm really getting tired of all the negative energy at MDC.

....it's getting reallllllllllllly old!


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

honestly in typical age of 6 1/2 fashion, he changed the subject while I was starting to fumble my way through a response....starting with...."well yeah, I have heard of a few..."

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *mamayogibear*
> 
> I'm curious, what did you say?


----------



## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

well....I guess it's just my own mentality that I've only heard of ONE in a Mothering article  and my opinion that most of the homebirthers I know have reasons they want a female, and a female who has had children...and his dad is from a culture where men don't even attend the births of their own children typically, it is a woman-dominated domain. So...the pause while I look for an answer. (Said Daddy however attended all 4 of our children's births and caught the last one!  live and learn)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Ryleigh's Mommy~*
> 
> Why???
> 
> ...


----------



## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Alenushka*
> 
> There is a letter or the law and there is spirit of the law.
> 
> ...


You grew up in SOVIET Russia. Your parents had no choices. They didn't have the option of *not* doing the things they did. In America, in 2011, we have a CHOICE to be AP or not. The very existence of this forum is for LIKE-MINDED individuals to have a place to discuss things that are not even understood elsewhere by people who do things differently. We will still raise children who end up drug addicts or in therapy or do something horrendous that we scratch our heads about. But NFL and AP is a CHOICE and MDC should always be a place to discuss these things WITHOUT it being a pissing contest.


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## KnittinKitten (Mar 10, 2011)

It's kind of sad how quickly this thread deteriorated so quickly into people feeling judged and hurt. I thought this was supposed to be a group that supported eachother. Just sayin.


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## MsBridget (Jan 17, 2011)

I said yes! He knows that I'm a midwife and he's quite proud of me.. Now, do I think he's likely to grow up and be one? Nah. But at 6 years old I think a lot of children want to mimic their parents.


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

I haven't had a chance to finish reading the whole thread yet, but I will. I'm going to say, Ldavis, Gina, other ladies who feel insulted...

Gently... you are taking this too personally. Seriously. This really was a fun, silly thread. The stuff I'm going to list as my ridiculous crunchiness is not about insulting or putting anyone down who doesn't do what I do. I do the weird/crunchy stuff I do because I want to. If you don't want to, that's ok. Really.

So! In my house you can tell the ubercrunch by the solar panels on the roof, the ever-growing organic garden, the freezer full of organic/free range meat, the lack of big permanent install electronics (we do have laptops), and the lack of paper products. My kid is very confused by toilet paper in public restrooms and she comments on my 'mama diapers'. When we add bodies we get rid of stuff instead of upgrading to a bigger house. This way I don't have to sacrifice my non-crunchy obsessions. 

To make it funny, you know you are a crunchy parent when the neighbors offer to let your kid come over to watch tv at their house. 

I forgot! I also nursed my oldest till 3. But then I lost my crunchy cred because I informed her that I was *done* so she was too.


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## AMertz (Feb 8, 2011)

Agreed, thanks for posting - it can definitely be intimidating to come around here from the more mainstream perspective!


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Whoa. Now that I've read the whole thing... harsh. I read AP books because I was abused as a kid and I don't know what good parenting looks like. I really don't think I should be put down for that.  I believe in gentle parenting (with very strong parent set limits) because from the research I've seen it seems like the best idea. But I screw up.

I do crunchy stuff because I like to. Not because I think it will turn out better/superior kids. It's my hobby. I don't think everyone has to share my hobby or that I am morally superior because I am having fun figuring out composting rather than playing video games. I'm a weird anti-authority, anti-government freak and I'd like to be prepared for a revolution.  That's a weird quirk, not a moral superiority. It's ok for me to be like this. It's ok for people to be different.

I'm also going to jump up and say that despite the fact that I am rabidly anti-circumcision and I go off on the topic at great length, frequently.... I believe that there are reasons people do it. They may not be reasons I like but they are reasons. I don't get to tell someone they don't have a reason for their actions. That's hubris.


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## Gucci&Granola (Jun 12, 2010)

Wow, just wow. I am really disheartened that a thread entitled "You Know You're a Crunchy Parent When"... dissolved into ridiculous negativity. The thread was about what YOU (as an individual) do that sets you apart from the mainstream. It did not say "I know" or "People Know" because it was about sharing your own experience, not casting judgment on others. The part that I find most curious and upsetting is that people got defensive BEFORE there was anything to be defensive about. There were absolutely no judgments passed initially, just a group of parents sharing anecdotes and personal practices. This thread is a good example of what is happening to Mothering now that the original intention of the site is less clearly maintained. I think discourse is healthy and beneficial. However, a group of grown ups who cannot participate in a lighthearted thread about what sets them apart (whatever that may be) is a sad occurrence.

The purpose of this website was to establish a place for like minded parents to come together and discuss natural family living. Of course everyone does not adhere to every single practice or principle. We do what works best for our own families given our own particular circumstances. If being proud of natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, and gentle discipline is distasteful, perhaps this is the wrong site for you.

In the intended spirit of the post, I know I am a crunchy parent because:


I have not been away from my daughter for more than 30 minutes since the day she was born almost 6 months ago.
I have mastered the art of getting baby poo stains out of our diaper covers.
Having a breast show in public as I struggle to feed a crying baby while grocery shopping/eating/returning library books no longer phases me.
Our medicine cabinet is full of herbal tinctures and salves.
My DH was afraid that his homemade deodorant would be a point of suspicion when going through customs.
The co-sleeper crib that we purchased has only every been used to store throw pillows and the baby has slept with us from day one 
I don't own a stroller and have figured out how to nurse in both the baby carriers I own.
Neither my daughter or myself have ever been vaccinated.
We bring items home to recycle them.
Our dog eats homemade organic dog food.
Baby was born on the floor in our bedroom (intentionally).
We are members of the local food co-op.
There is a placenta sitting in our freezer waiting to be planted under a tree in whatever house we end up buying.
Our daughter's first solid food will be homemade organic applesauce made from locally sourced fruit.

As a side note, I'm not a vegan, I don't use family cloth, raise chickens, or hang all of our laundry to dry. I do use cloth diapers but employ a local service to clean them. I don't feel bad about any of this, it never occurred to me to approach this thread in the spirit of competition. I love reading about what everyone else is doing and I hope that we can all get over ourselves enough to use this site as a source of inspiration and support.

*Edited to say: I realize that a description of my lifestyle is dangerously to sounding like an SNL sketch about hippie parents and I'm ok with that.


----------



## nestakorine (May 17, 2011)

I thought this thread started out great! It's about what makes us unique as parents, not trying to one-up others. I really don't think we'll all have the same definition of "crunchy" parents at all. But I love the game of figuring out what the word means to each of us. Who said "crunchy" was better? I guess I missed that part of the post.

Anyway, if less offensive, I will say, "Here is what I think of as a crunchy parent, or the silly things I find myself doiing" rather than, "you know you're crunchy if..."

You find yourself making your own "get ready for baby" book for big sis because you can't find one that leaves out both bottles AND diapers.

You cannot figure out where your daughter learned about Hannah Montana and Lady Gaga!

You google EC and are surprised to find a whole bunch of links about the European Commission instead of diaper free babies.

You keep having to remind yourself to expose your child to movies every now and then because you think it's good for her to have some idea of this phenomenon...but surprisingly not because she ever asks! (I imagine that might come later


----------



## xzaviers_mama (May 15, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Gucci&Granola*
> 
> Wow, just wow. I am really disheartened that a thread entitled "You Know You're a Crunchy Parent When"... dissolved into ridiculous negativity. The thread was about what YOU (as an individual) do that sets you apart from the mainstream. It did not say "I know" or "People Know" because it was about sharing your own experience, not casting judgment on others. The part that I find most curious and upsetting is that people got defensive BEFORE there was anything to be defensive about. There were absolutely no judgments passed initially, just a group of parents sharing anecdotes and personal practices. This thread is a good example of what is happening to Mothering now that the original intention of the site is less clearly maintained. I think discourse is healthy and beneficial. However, a group of grown ups who cannot participate in a lighthearted thread about what sets them apart (whatever that may be) is a sad occurrence.
> 
> ...


Yes! All of that! lol

I am vegan... but I have a stroller... and I still use Secret deodorant, because I'm stinky.


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## SunflowerRae (Jun 6, 2011)

I think of crunchy to mean one who prefers/does things naturally (part/some/most of the time) ... With that in mind I think a crunchy parent is one who tries to do these things: eating food as God made it, trusting your body to give birth in the way you were made to, using your breasts for what they were made for, choosing natural cleaning products for your home, choosing natural medicine, and using your instincts to guide you as you parent.

You might be a Crunchy Parent if.... Your baby prefers your finger to a pacifier.

Our baby loves daddy's finger. Mine not so much... We've tried a pacifier but she doesn't keep them in. My sister can get her to suck on one for a couple minutes, no luck with me. I find it okay though because then I have nothing to take away from her later.

I'd like to hear other people's crunchy parenting, it creates a sense of community among those of us who are sort of crunchy, which is why I like this website. The mainstream stuff is just that - mainstream - if I wanted to learn something mainstream I'd go to Parenting magazines website or something like that.

Hope everyone is having a beautiful day!


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## PeacemongerMom (May 8, 2011)

I have been following this thread but not commenting as I'm new here and I absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt would fail miserably any natural parenting litmus test. I am not here to provoke anyone but forgive me I have some honest questions. If you believe so much in what you practice why would only want to share it with like minded people? I understand wanting a place for community but I would also expect a gentleness from this group. You are gentle with the earth, gentle with your children, why not be gentle with those different then you?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *velochic*
> 
> You grew up in SOVIET Russia. Your parents had no choices. They didn't have the option of *not* doing the things they did. In America, in 2011, we have a CHOICE to be AP or not. The very existence of this forum is for LIKE-MINDED individuals to have a place to discuss things that are not even understood elsewhere by people who do things differently. We will still raise children who end up drug addicts or in therapy or do something horrendous that we scratch our heads about. But NFL and AP is a CHOICE and MDC should always be a place to discuss these things WITHOUT it being a pissing contest.


----------



## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

thank you baby jesus for that peanut butter sandwich! you make em just the way i like em!!!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SunflowerRae*
> 
> I think of crunchy to mean one who prefers/does things naturally (part/some/most of the time) ... With that in mind I think a crunchy parent is one who tries to do these things: eating food as God made it,


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## SunflowerRae (Jun 6, 2011)

I whole heartedly agree with you PeacemongerMom. Good critique. I hope to be one of those sort of crunchy people to bring gentleness to this group, as you can see I am new as well, and I have definitely seen my share of not nice things said here. As for being among like-minded people, it is a relief to know that how I feel and think is not that uncommon. I love to share my life and knowledge with those who are interested and want to know. My experience has taught me to only share with those who are genuinely interested and defend my right to choose how I live my life and raise my kid to those who attack it. It seems like some on this forum are here to attack or defend mainstream ways which the Mothering community is not all about - and I've only known about Mothering for less than a year. Take the good you get from everything and leave the rest, is my philosophy on these forums. If you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer  Peace and Love to you!


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## hildare (Jul 6, 2009)

jk sunflower rae....

peacemongermom.. you wandered into mdc at a time of internal turmoil. people are having a hard time being gentle and lots of members are on edge.. check out the questions & suggestions forum for more info on why.

this can be-has been- a really good place to hang out and learn things and get real support. no one is forcing anyone to measure up to some crunchy standard.. it's just that first of all, tone on teh intranetz is hard to read/convey, and some mamas are feeling judged by 'crunchier than thou' isms. this thread kind of shows that.

we're scaring all the n00bs, ya'll. at least the sensitive non-trolly-and-i-don't-mean-cute-trolly ones. can we all just take a breath and start being our best selves again? me included...


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Well I came here for support and non-judgment. I do share my beliefs with the mainstream people BUT they mock, make fun of, and argue with everything I do/say. Unfortunately MDC is not what it used to be and it is self imploding as far as I can tell. It really stinks b/c it used to be a safe haven for like-minded mamas. This was the one place I didn't have to defend every parenting choice I make. I do agree we need to be gentle with each other and I try my best to be even in this turmoil. I will say though the post you commented on was in response to a very offending post.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *PeacemongerMom*
> 
> I have been following this thread but not commenting as I'm new here and I absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt would fail miserably any natural parenting litmus test. I am not here to provoke anyone but forgive me I have some honest questions. If you believe so much in what you practice why would only want to share it with like minded people? I understand wanting a place for community but I would also expect a gentleness from this group. You are gentle with the earth, gentle with your children, why not be gentle with those different then you?


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

Wow.

The reason why I came to MDC originally was because I learned (out in the world) that we are quite extreme, didn't mean to be but we are. I know that I have judged others mainly when I have been judged by them, which is not right. I am grateful that I now bite my tongue when I want to educate others on the options that are available. Since my kiddo was born, I have learned to just step down from my soap box and if I am asked, I will tell you all I know and have learned. I have been grateful to learn from other mamas here. I do the things I do because I have made those choices and cannot feel good about continuing old ways... moving forward, never straight.

I do feel that as of late, these forums are not as naturally minded as I remember, really that is why I hardly ever post and I cannot stand that FB is now involved. I embrace others that want to know this way of life but find that when the naturally minded folks around here post, they get trashed a bit.

I have been completely humbled by learning how mamas who have had challenges in birth and not having the birth they wanted. I feel bad about my past posts (at times). Sometimes things just do not work out. They did for my family, thankfully and maybe that is where my original thoughts came from.

I do not feel the need to write a check list of what we do anymore. Consciously I do what my heart and gut feel is right. I am no where near perfect... I have hangups that I am not proud of, don't we all?

In our little part of the world, I am considered a hippie, crunchy, etc... I do not mind those tags at all. But geez... I shave!


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SunflowerRae*
> 
> The mainstream stuff is just that - mainstream - if I wanted to learn something mainstream I'd go to Parenting magazines website or something like that.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I stopped reading on page 2.

I miss the old, old MDC where we could make fun of ourselves for doing crunchy stuff that probably seemed cray cray to us just a few years before. I always came here with the attitude of "take what fits and leave the rest". I always looked at posts that seemed over the top, rolled all of my thousand eyes, and moved on.

If this stuff bothers you, close the thread, move on. No one is forcing anyone to read.

SO, back to the OP: I'm not going to make a list of all my non-mainstream/crunchy ways, I'm going to list the things that I did that made me think, "How did the crunch get this far?"

I switched to Tom's peppermint toothpaste and everyone else in the house said, "Yuck!"

I stopped shaving my legs...in summer... in Florida... and I wasn't self conscious about it.

DD was still nursing at 1 and... 2... 3... 4... and 5. I never imagined going past teeth.

I tandem nursed a 4 year old (that was suppose to have weaned years ago, remember?) and a newborn.

I bought a second expensive, German wrap.

When I bought an expensive umbrella stroller.

When I worried about the hospital giving my son Tylenol... and we were there fighting cancer. (DH and I had a cathartic laugh about this one at about 2am that first awful week.)

(Just in case you did not feel the tone here, I'm making fun of myself.)


----------



## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AbbieB*
> 
> I stopped shaving my legs...in summer... in Florida... and I wasn't self conscious about it.


I haven't shaved my legs in years, but I still feel self conscious about it. It makes me sad and a little conflicted, kwim? I might start shaving them just so I can feel comfortable wearing skirts. But for some reason, I'm less self conscious about my armpit hair. Go figure! lol.


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## Seana (Jan 19, 2005)

My kids play "Midman" sometimes! and I do remember reading someone's birth story including one in the UK, maybe?


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## Turquesa (May 30, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *nestakorine*
> 
> You find yourself making your own "get ready for baby" book for big sis because you can't find one that leaves out both bottles AND diapers.


Yes!! And hospital birth!! All of the books at Borders made references to "bringing the baby home from the hospital." For those of us who have and exercise the option of homebirth, a "new baby" book that includes it requires a "special trip" to Amazon!

Don't stop reading on page 2, AbbieB, or you'll miss my list! 
















Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AbbieB*
> 
> I stopped reading on page 2.


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## purslaine (Feb 20, 2006)

The things that have freaked out people the most:

I kept placentas in the freezer for years until I figured out what to do with them.

I won't have a microwave in the house because of the radiation and worry about cell phones due to radiation (these are, admittedly, a little out there)


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## KitKnitty (Apr 13, 2009)

I've been reading this thread and realizing that some of my crunchiness is just a result of being very poor!

We don't have battery operated toys, because they break too easily and we don't want to keep buying batteries.

Our cleaning supplies consist of baking soda, vinegar, and Dr. Bronner's soap, because they're cheap and effective.

We spend a lot of time in the forest, because it's cheap entertainment.

We co-sleep with our family, because we live in a tiny home.

We don't watch tv, because cable television is too expensive and our town doesn't have a station that carries PBS.

And we eat a whole food/non-processed foods diet, because it's cheaper than eating out or buying packaged foods.

So I might be crunchy . . . OR I might be a bit of a hillbilly!

Either way, I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else and hope no one takes it that way!


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## PeacemongerMom (May 8, 2011)

I wanted to add to this that I really enjoyed reading why everyone is crunchy! I'm not very crunchy. More and more I find myself pulling away from the mainstream, disagreeing with popular culture and values, and seeking something different. When my son was a baby and toddler I was completely mainstream.I did not wear my baby or CD, we went through phases of co sleeping and my son is circ'd, even worse I had a c section, although I had placenta previa. I must be feeling brave to post all of this on MDC! This probably sounds unreal to many of you but that was all I knew. Crunchy/natural mommas were more of an ideal than real people in my narrow frame of reference. Then when my son was 12 months old, I think rather suspiciously, he developed pneumonia ten days after getting the pneumo vax. I started reading about vaccines. I was still too afraid to not vax. Then when he was about 2 , I was struck with the idea it was absurd to spank children. I decided not to spank and delayed some boosters. Then I got an education in Montessori education and decided I preferred it to public methods. When he was 3, I enrolled him in a Montessori preschool. It was around this time that I accidentally acquired a copy of Alfie Kohn's UP. I was hooked and became non punitive. I started reading more like minded parenting books. Then about a year ago, I was browsing a used book store in the magazine section, I came across a stack of Mothering magazines, mostly from the late 80s- 90s about 8 or 9 in all. I never heard of Mothering before that. The first one I flipped through had a full shot of baby being born on parents bed. That looked like a slice of heaven compared to what I went through. That was the start of my education in natural parenting. I left the bookstore that day with every one of those copies of Mothering and I read them all.

Now a days I do a few more crunchy things. The reason for my rambling is I want this forum and I want it crunchy.I am pulling away from the mainstream. I work in preschool and the things the children talk about and know about saddens me. I found a frog on the playground one day and pointed it out to them, several boys promptly tried to stomp it to death but I intervened. Once I pointed out a duck in the tree( it's near a small pond) the children yelled " it's in our tree, let's kill it and shoot it."

I'm sure many don't think I belong here and even though my child is long past the stage of all the baby ( or toddler or preschool) B's I still want to learn more about parenting, discipline, and especially more natural ways of health, cooking and nutrition.

Maybe there could be forums dedicated to questions or learning? I'm not sure if that would help cut back on some of the tension that's apparently been building or not. I would guess there are other parents here who want to start or continue learning and are not as far along on this journey but don't really fit in in either the mainstream box or the natural box.


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

I can't believe I forgot my weirdest crunchy thing of all. I totally ate my placenta. I have a long history of depression/mental health issues and if there is a snowball's chance in hell it might help me be a happier, more stable parent... I'll do it!


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## Jennbee (Apr 30, 2005)

Keeping it fun:
-your 2 toddlers decide they each own a boob and don't like to share
-your children get sad if they accidentally step on an anthill
-your children will only pick a couple of dandelions because the bees and bugs need them too

I would also like to say that I read an Attachment Parenting book when I was expecting my first child. I wanted to learn about parenting because I come from an assimilated cultural experience where many of our parents and grandparents did not have normal childhoods ("Indian" residential school system) and did not know how to parent. Reading the book I realized that my mom did her best and that a lot of what she did would be considered a bit "crunchy".


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Ummm, not really. Even the talking heads did a peice on cell phones causing cancer not that long ago.









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kathymuggle*
> 
> I won't have a microwave in the house because of the radiation and worry about cell phones due to radiation (these are, admittedly, a little out there)


----------



## Gucci&Granola (Jun 12, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *PeacemongerMom*
> 
> I'm sure many don't think I belong here and even though my child is long past the stage of all the baby ( or toddler or preschool) B's I still want to learn more about parenting, discipline, and especially more natural ways of health, cooking and nutrition.


I can only speak for myself but let me assure you that I welcome you here with open arms. I love hearing about other parents' journeys and I found your post interesting and touching. I think the more you read and poke around the more you will find that this community boasts a very diverse group of parents. Many mothers have had Cesarean sections (due to medical complications, lack of support, and even doctor bullying). Hopefully sharing your birth story will bring support to work through any residual trauma rather than shaming or judgment. Many parents here vaccinate (and actually the Mothering philosophy is about supporting parents rights to choose for themselves). Your stories remind me of my own mother who relied on her intuition more than anything else when she decided there had to be a different model than the one she had been given. Natural parenting means different things to different people. Ask questions, share your own insights and stories, and learn from others. Crunchy is a relative to the individual and there are no medals being handed out here.


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## SunflowerRae (Jun 6, 2011)

You don't use toilet paper? what do you do??


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SunflowerRae*
> 
> You don't use toilet paper? what do you do??


We use cloth wipes like we do for our kiddo. Throw them in with his diapers.


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## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *kathymuggle*
> 
> The things that have freaked out people the most:
> 
> ...


I agree that the microwave thing is a little out there for most of the population. My parents had a microwave when I was growing up, but DH and I have never had one in our 21 years of marriage (mostly due to DH's insistence). People who know this think it is bizarre! One of my favorite colleagues actually asked me "How do you live?" Er, I have a stove? Not ever having one, I actually never thought to miss one. My mom, however (who is a good cook by the way) can barely live without one. I don't necessarily think it is crunchy not to have one. I just think that it is one of the conveniences ingrained into our culture that makes us think that we should have one, or need one. Not knocking people who love their microwaves, but it is definitely a recent convenience. Same with cell phones, IMO. I love my Blackberry and now that I've had it for a while, I don't want to go back to not having one. It has made my life easier on so many levels (less face time at work, etc.). In fact, I think it has allowed me to be more crunchy with respect to use of my time and work-related issues. I know that's a weird spin on the issue.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

For the record I do not want you to feel horrible b/c you had a necessary c-section! There is no shame in that. Also not CDing isn't a big deal in the scheme of things IMO (besides earth loving) and a lot of people on here have circ'd before being educated on it. My DD had really bad vax reactions so I am totally with you there! I think it's great you are a loving mom despite he fact you were more mainstream and it is even greater that you improved your ideals of parenting (no spanking etc) that can be really difficult to do b/c then you are sort of acknowledging what you were doing before was wrong and a lot of people don't want to go down that road.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *PeacemongerMom*
> 
> I wanted to add to this that I really enjoyed reading why everyone is crunchy! I'm not very crunchy. More and more I find myself pulling away from the mainstream, disagreeing with popular culture and values, and seeking something different. When my son was a baby and toddler I was completely mainstream.I did not wear my baby or CD, we went through phases of co sleeping and my son is circ'd, even worse I had a c section, although I had placenta previa. I must be feeling brave to post all of this on MDC! This probably sounds unreal to many of you but that was all I knew. Crunchy/natural mommas were more of an ideal than real people in my narrow frame of reference. Then when my son was 12 months old, I think rather suspiciously, he developed pneumonia ten days after getting the pneumo vax. I started reading about vaccines. I was still too afraid to not vax. Then when he was about 2 , I was struck with the idea it was absurd to spank children. I decided not to spank and delayed some boosters. Then I got an education in Montessori education and decided I preferred it to public methods. When he was 3, I enrolled him in a Montessori preschool. It was around this time that I accidentally acquired a copy of Alfie Kohn's UP. I was hooked and became non punitive. I started reading more like minded parenting books. Then about a year ago, I was browsing a used book store in the magazine section, I came across a stack of Mothering magazines, mostly from the late 80s- 90s about 8 or 9 in all. I never heard of Mothering before that. The first one I flipped through had a full shot of baby being born on parents bed. That looked like a slice of heaven compared to what I went through. That was the start of my education in natural parenting. I left the bookstore that day with every one of those copies of Mothering and I read them all.
> 
> ...


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## eelownes (May 19, 2011)

Every mom is different and so long as their kids are happy and thriving and learning to walk gently through this earth, we are ALL doing a great job here.

Having said that...

i guess I am crunchy because I quit my job as a political consultant to become a full time mom. My daughter has never had a piece of meat or a glass of milk (well breast milk). I make all our baby food and house hold cleaners from scratch. But I guess I do this because this is the way that works for us and makes us happy. I know plenty of mommy's out there who do things very differently. I just like to see kids thrive.


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *CatsCradle*
> 
> I agree that the microwave thing is a little out there for most of the population. My parents had a microwave when I was growing up, but DH and I have never had one in our 21 years of marriage (mostly due to DH's insistence). People who know this think it is bizarre! One of my favorite colleagues actually asked me "How do you live?" Er, I have a stove? Not ever having one, I actually never thought to miss one. My mom, however (who is a good cook by the way) can barely live without one. I don't necessarily think it is crunchy not to have one. I just think that it is one of the conveniences ingrained into our culture that makes us think that we should have one, or need one. Not knocking people who love their microwaves, but it is definitely a recent convenience. Same with cell phones, IMO. I love my Blackberry and now that I've had it for a while, I don't want to go back to not having one. It has made my life easier on so many levels (less face time at work, etc.). In fact, I think it has allowed me to be more crunchy with respect to use of my time and work-related issues. I know that's a weird spin on the issue.


Do you think microwaves are dangerous even if they aren't running? Do they emit radiation when they are plugged in but not cooking anything? Just curious!! (We do have a microwave for the record... mostly we use it as a clock, timer, and stove vent, as well as to store things we don't want to refrigerate but don't want the cat (or ants!) getting into... we do 'cook' in it occasionally though, warming something up for a minute once a week or so...)

To the poster that asked about toilet paper, we use family cloth (just torn up old t-shirt rags we use once per rag & then wash) -- some people use bidets (or spray bottles, diaper sprayers, etc.)


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## CatsCradle (May 7, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *crunchy_mommy*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


DH is the one who really insists on not having one, so I don't know about the dangers (proven or otherwise) of having one, running or not. He has an aversion that he has never fully explained. Just so I have my coffe maker, that's all I care about!







I think more than anything, not having a microwave was just something we fell into. We did a lot of rental apartment living for years and sort of were low tech anyway (we never actually purchased a television until I was over 30, and I still remember the day when we bought a VCR...the world shook!). I think a lot of that had to do with a hesitation to spend money.


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## arieltron (Jan 27, 2011)

I think this thread is a positive thing, people need to be less sensitive.

one to add:

When your baby sleeps on top of a sleeping bag and a Thermarest.... inside the house


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Kind of a cute story yesterday we went food shopping and DD was asleep on my back in a wrap and she woke up as we were checking out and the clerk run in the cookies and then the bananas DD started screaming and pointing so the clerk hands her the cookies and she throws them. She wanted the banana lol I knew that anyways though b/c DD refuses to eat any cookies/crackers/sweets unless mama home-baked them and it's a special treat. This girl is all about her fruits and veggies! (the cookies were for me as AF is arriving lol)

Not that bananas are crunchy though b/c they are NOT local to me but DD is so in love with them...


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## amymccarty (Jan 5, 2011)

If you were reading the heading... Thats what this post is all about :S So yours don't really make sense. Sorry, just sayin"

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *~Charlie's~Angel~*
> 
> OK, for reals, ladies? Is all this horn-tooting, back-patting, and nose-angling really neccessary?
> 
> ...


----------



## Lisoula (Jan 9, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife*
> 
> Maybe it's the margarita, but I totally read this wrong the first time.


I think you & I read the exact same thing.....


----------



## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *PeacemongerMom*
> 
> When my son was a baby and toddler I was completely mainstream.I did not wear my baby or CD, we went through phases of co sleeping and my son is circ'd, even worse I had a c section, although I had placenta previa.


Welcome 

I didn't babywear (too cheap to buy a carrier. But I did carry ds1, like, all the time!). Ds1 is circ'ed (ds2 is not). I had an epidural hospital birth with ds1- and there was no way in heck I was going to skip the epi (with ds2, I was terrified of epi's, so there was no way in heck I was going to have an epi!)! And I've spanked ds1, even though I knew better (obviously, I regret it). Oh, and he was fully vaxed on schedule until he was 12 mos old.

I don't think what you did in the past has any bearing on how crunchy you are now. kwim? You know that saying "when you know better, you do better." (I hope I got that right). It's what you are doing now, and what you aspire to do, that matters, imo.

Quote:


> I'm sure many don't think I belong here and even though my child is long past the stage of all the baby ( or toddler or preschool) B's I still want to learn more about parenting, discipline, and especially more natural ways of health, cooking and nutrition.


From that post, it sounds to me like you "belong" here


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## cettasmom (Jan 6, 2011)

KitKnitty,

I hear you! Thank god my baby is so enthralled with leaves! Although, Dr. B is too expensive for house cleaning. I just use vinegar.

I love the spirit of this thread, just I, as a Southernerit, loved the Jeff Foxworthy jokes.

So here are mine:

I know I'm crunchy when:

* I have become a pro and think nothing of checking out groceries while holding my baby to my boob with one hand (b/c I forgot my @#$ wrap again) while handing over my debit card and smiling (usually) with the other.

*I had a panic attack about moving to a different city b/c the stores there might not carry washing soda, until I realized I could buy it off amazon if they don't.

*I'm not sure there's anything vinegar can't fix or clean. Have they tried injecting cancer cells with vinegar yet?

*The box cover of the baby DVD grandma got us is getting more play than the actual DVD.

*Rather than new shoes, my new guilty pleasure is baby carriers.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KitKnitty*
> 
> I've been reading this thread and realizing that some of my crunchiness is just a result of being very poor!
> 
> ...


----------



## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

LOL I was totally thinking Dr. Bs was way too rich for my blood!


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## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

when your 2 year old nurses her babies even though she has doll bottles

when you have to tell your toddler to stop trying to breastfeed the baby

when your toddler breastfeeds her rubber ducks (can you tell she's boob crazy?)

when you're disappointed that none of your flat diapers are clean

when your toddler tries to put toilet paper in the diaper pail because she's used to family cloth


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rightkindofme*
> 
> I can't believe I forgot my weirdest crunchy thing of all. I totally ate my placenta. I have a long history of depression/mental health issues and if there is a snowball's chance in hell it might help me be a happier, more stable parent... I'll do it!


I loved eating my placentas...I just ate it raw right after my births. Did you encapsulate? I ate half and kept half of them to plant in a special tree placenta planting ceremony so my kids would have a tree in our woods that was nurtured and made strong by their "womb mother". Do you know, people think that is SOOOOOOO weird!! Most people I know, who know that about me, are like, HORRIFIED that I ate raw placenta!


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## mizzzashlee (Apr 1, 2011)

if you're LO has ever run around the house naked/wrapped in a hand towel because all her dipes are in the wash


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## LeslieintheKeys (Dec 4, 2007)

---- if your almost 4-yr old son is aghast when you throw his first non-cloth (disposable) diaper in the trash. "Mama, why did you throw that in the trash?!" I didn't understand his question at first, but after I realized why he was asking, I felt even more guilty about buying our first disposable pack of overnight diapers.

---- if you make Easter egg dye out of native plant/tree berries through much trial and error (heavy on the error side)

---- if you pop homeopathic pills in your childrens' mouths instead of taking them to the doctor


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

-If your LO chooses hummus or fruit over colorful candy.
-If he gets hand-me-down Thomas pj's and does not know the train has a name.
-If he thinks he needs to spray & wipe _any_ new toy with vinegar (because he is so used to thrift store buys...)
-If you hand him a Kleenex or a paper napkin & he makes a face and says, "No, I want a REAL [cloth] one!"
-If going on vacation means bringing a giant extra suitcase... filled with cloth dipes and wipes...
-If you've had to ask your DH to get the pliers to get dental floss out of your teeth







because you tried to save floss by using the world's shortest piece...
-If you've spent time calculating how many times you might need the bathroom before company arrives so you can flush as little as possible but still have a 'fresh' toilet when they get there...


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## teachingmama (Jun 23, 2011)

Yes, feel your sentiment. Working moms can be crunchy, public schooled kids can be crunchy. State of mind and being, and balance...


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## KitKnitty (Apr 13, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> LOL I was totally thinking Dr. Bs was way too rich for my blood!


Believe me, we use it sparingly! We add a tiny, tiny amount of it to our laundry and we add a tiny, tiny amount to clean our counters, if we're having company, and we use it (1:1) to wash our hands. We buy the big $12 bottles and 1 bottle lasts us, a family of 4, for about 6 months!

So, I guess it's our one luxury, since it IS our most expensive "product."

You might be a crunchy parent, if you consider Dr. Bronner's to be a luxury?


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## matte (Dec 26, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KitKnitty*
> 
> we use it (1:1) to wash our hands.


i use it 1:10 for hand washing (10 h2o) in a reused handsoap foaming pump bottle.... that i've refilled more than 10 times.

actually, this makes a nice stiff foam, with a nice scent, and the DBs lasts forever....


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## SunflowerRae (Jun 6, 2011)

Ah, It just dawned on me that I could use washable pads, but had not thought about toilet paper, thanks for the tip!


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

You might be crunchy if your boobs have seen more mileage than an SUV...

You might be crunchy if your child asks you if the drink you're giving him is healthy or not...

You might be crunchy if you just had to respond to this thread


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## MommyMandi (Jan 27, 2008)

If you pulled up to a mcdonalds out of a desperation and your 4 year old started screaming from the backseat..."No, not mcdonalds. That's disgusting. Mom, there's chemicals. No, mom. I'm not eating it. No, no, no!" I didn't even realize we had gone that crunchy. Haha.

And for the record, I do not judge other people for the decisions that feel best for their families. I feel that judgment of other people merely shows your insecurities and portrays them on other people. Lets all learn to get along and enjoy each other's differences not just the things we have in common. After all, at one point in time, we ALL learned something from the person next to us that we didn't know or have an interest in before!


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## sunflwrmoonbeam (Oct 9, 2006)

Ignoring all the brouhaha and keeping with the original spirit of the thread:

...you're known around the gym as that crunchy parent and get questions about amber teething necklaces and breastfeeding from strangers.

...you have 6 carriers for 1 baby (when you swore you'd never be THAT mom)


----------



## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MommyMandi*
> 
> If you pulled up to a mcdonalds out of a desperation and your 4 year old started screaming from the backseat..."No, not mcdonalds. That's disgusting. Mom, there's chemicals. No, mom. I'm not eating it. No, no, no!" I didn't even realize we had gone that crunchy. Haha.


----------



## MommyMandi (Jan 27, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sunflwrmoonbeam*
> 
> Ignoring all the brouhaha and keeping with the original spirit of the thread:
> 
> ...


----------



## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

-When you 15 month daughter gets her first baby doll from her grandma and insists that YOU nurse it, and she wants to share as well.

-When that same daughter insists that the same doll nurses on Daddy.

-When you've had That Day and you just don't care what your kid eats anymore, but your 3 yo reminds you that he "doesn't drink sugar" (soda).

-When your 3 yo chooses nursing over ice cream, when you really really reallyreallyreally wanted him to choose the ice cream.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

How about this. My nephew who grew up very "mainstream" conventionally. (CIO, spanking, etc) is 4 y/o and he stayed over a couple nights. His mom packed all this junk food in his bag b/c she knows we don't have junk.

I swear the minute he stepped in the house he was instantly crunchy lol The whole time he was over he only wanted to drink water (not the gatorade or soda his mom packed), only ate fruits for snacks, and actually ate every meal I cooked him. When I offered him the doritos his mom packed he declined and said he would rather have an apple.

He begged me to nurse him like his cousin (but I told him no) and he says "Can't I just have one! (boob)" lol

He was being really fresh and hit my DD (20 m/o) (this kid has real discipline issues...wonder why...) and when I went over there to talk to him about it he ducked (like I was going to spank him) and I said "we have two rules here, 1. no one hits anyone 2. we share everything. He was surprised I did not punish him but rather we talked about it and he was upset he had hurt her.

He ended up asking me if he could just live here and I could be his mommy (I of course told him no and that he has a mommy who loves him very much etc) then he asked if we could pretend his was my baby when he comes over.

I think it is funny b/c MIL always says how my DD is suffering not eating junk food and not CIO etc etc well look at a kid who had "all of that" and when he was over here he was happy and didn't want any of it. He really liked how we live. To me that goes to show what a great job we are doing and I am glad that he has somewhere he can come and get away from all of the drama (and sugar) at his house.


----------



## James ch1 v5 (Jun 17, 2011)

I totally get you. I'm right there with you. Why do women judge each other so much? We should be supporting each other.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lazurii*
> 
> -When your 3 yo chooses nursing over ice cream, when you really really reallyreallyreally wanted him to choose the ice cream.










omg, I totally get you there!


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## crunchy_mommy (Mar 29, 2009)

When you are trying to buy some random thing (sunscreen, food, homeopathics, etc.) and you anguish over whether you should buy the 100% vegan option which has 1 or 2 chemical ingredients or the 100% natural item which has 1 or 2 animal ingredients...


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## triana1326 (Aug 8, 2007)

- when you have a coffee grinder and dehydrator in your kitchen marked in Sharpie - PLACENTA ONLY (for encapsulating your doula client's placentas.

- when your 2y/o DD comes out of a friend's bathroom asking "where are the wipes?" and thinks that toilet paper is just for playing with.

- when you have a sewing circle and have to explain that the red flannel pieces you're sewing together is a mama pad, and then you end up in a discussion about your diva cup, which you have to show to everyone there...

- when you've been referred to on a blog as "my hippie/crunchy friend who lives in a remodeled farmhouse who trades/barters food and crafts for EVERYTHING!"

- when your own mother says you're being paranoid about BPA, and then three years later realizes that BPA is really bad for you...

- when your holidays are filled with homemade gifts and goodies, either made or bartered for from friends.

- your DD throws a fit when you don't get the fruit and veggies she wants, but doesn't utter a peep when you go through the candy and chip aisle.

- you send the kids out to pick dandelions - to make dandelion jelly. And you don't frak out when your LO eats a bunch of white clover flowers. In fact, you encourage it.

- You are on a first name basis and know the life history of at least three of the farmers at the local farmer's market.

- the usual MDC stuff - CD, EBF, co sleeping, no vaxing, no circing, etc...


----------



## sarahquinn (Nov 29, 2010)

reading this through has made me realize that even if another mother isn't doing excactly what i am doing... it's OK. thanks guys : )


----------



## Seana (Jan 19, 2005)

I always go with the vegan option, but I've been to multiple stores (not too Eco-friendly) to find vegan AND petroleum free lip balm!


----------



## James ch1 v5 (Jun 17, 2011)

Oh, can you share a recipe for dandelion jam?


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## vivica2 (Mar 19, 2010)

you might be a crunchy mom if:

-even though people say "get off your high horse" you laugh, because you know they will figure it out someday.

- your 4 yo DS thinks its weird to see a mommy carrying a car seat around.

-you dread Christmas because again, you will have to return a hand full of toys because some family members don't get why kids shouldn't play with plastic battery operated toys. and you feel like you shouldn't have to explain your life to people, or feel guilty about your lifestyle! (IE: guilty about returning 'junk toys')

-you take glass jars home with you from houses that don't recycle when they say "just put it in the trash"

and to add: i joined mothering because it was crunchy! if you don't like what is being discussed about natural living, then get off the natural living web page.


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## marie33 (May 22, 2011)

wow! I was just wondering if I might be a crunchy parent! I've never heard of this before joinin mdc!


----------



## marie33 (May 22, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Adaline'sMama*
> 
> I didnt realize that keeping your nut yeast in a shaker or composting your poop was anyone trying to be "sparkly." SO WHAT if people want to make a list about how crunchy they are/arent? If it makes people feel bad, Im sorry. It makes me feel bad when people complain about still having (only) 5 lbs to lose, but I dont say anything. Lots of threads make people feel bad, and NOT everyone is meant to be included in every single thread. Tell me that none of you complaining cant think of anything that you do in your lives that sets you aside from most people you run in to? There are a million boards all over the internet talking about how they did everything exactly like "What to Expect in the First Year" told them to, but we cant say that we compost poop without being treated like we are trying to host an awards show?
> 
> ETA: Exactly when and where _is_ it okay to be proud of the way you are parenting? Not around my family. Not around a lot of my friends. Not around anyone at the grocery store where I live. So, who exactly are some of us supposed to have camaraderie with about the choices we are making? I thought a natural parenting site was a perfect place....


It's never okay to proud of the way you parent, right? I'm a believer in just being who you are as a parent, which changes and grows with each baby born! I just had my 3rd and I've become slightly more "crunchy" with each one. I'll be judged for my parenting and any growing I may do as a person and mother by someone, I'm sure! btw, I have an Adeline! Great name. =)


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## stareater (Jun 28, 2011)

Going through and reading some of the things that would class you are "crunchy" has made me realize I may not be as crunchy as I thought I was.  Well I mean I am the usually, CD, baby wearing, attachement parenting, baby lead weaning etc things, but nothing too "extreme".


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## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

This is one thing that boggles my mind. We recycle but here they don't take glass of any kinds. And we don't have the room to hold on to many containers so yeah we always say put it in the trash. Even more common containers are on the do not list. And yet we were given this huge bin(bigger then our trash bin) for recyclables. However I don't have the time to find and drive to a center that would take them so while I feel some guilt I just have to let it go. But I still find it weird that they don't take glass.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *vivica2*
> 
> you might be a crunchy mom if:
> 
> ...


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## James ch1 v5 (Jun 17, 2011)

I haven't seen any posts that are against crunchy parenting, what are you talking about?


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## KaylaBeanie (Jan 27, 2009)

I'm a NMY, but I'll play!

-When your period comes a week early, you're 500 miles away from home (therefore your mama cloth) and you have to use a tampon...you cringe and feel like crying.

-I became a staunch homebirth advocate at age 17, for some background. I was 18, and dating my first serious boyfriend. I was at his house for Thanksgiving and his mom was telling some story about getting in the car in labor and how awful it was. Totally calm, I say "That's why I'm SO GLAD I'll be birthing my babies at home when the day comes." Apparently that's not something mainstream people expect to hear, hehe.

-When you realize you ate all the brown rice in the fridge and your soup is ready now, so you grab some Uncle Ben's ready rice, read the ingredients list and postpone dinner for 30 minutes while you make real rice.

-When you can pronounce quinoa, tempeh and seitan

-I'm a die-hard vegetarian who obnoxiously checks all labels

-I hide the one roll of emergency paper towels so that I don't use them out of laziness

-When the entire house is dark except one lamp in the one corner of the one room you're in

-When you see someone throw away a recycleable, and your first course of action is to run over and grab it out to recycle before it gets too gross

-When you haven't taken any medication other than herbal PMS pills since the strep incident of 2009

-When your fellow crunchy friends start dating a new guy and calls you at 2 am to gleefully inform you that he's intact

-When you hear that someone weaned before age two, and your first thought is "wow that's young!" This is really poignant for me because I was not raised around breastfeeding and always said I wouldn't nurse. Then I thought I'd pump for awhile. Then I though ABSOLUTELY NO MORE THAN A YEAR! Now I hear of 3/4/5 year olds nursing, and not only does it not gross me out, I hope to someday make it that long!

-


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *KaylaBeanie*
> 
> -When you hear that someone weaned before age two, and your first thought is "wow that's young!" This is really poignant for me because I was not raised around breastfeeding and always said I wouldn't nurse. Then I thought I'd pump for awhile. Then I though ABSOLUTELY NO MORE THAN A YEAR! Now I hear of 3/4/5 year olds nursing, and not only does it not gross me out, I hope to someday make it that long!


I'm the same way now! I was always nurse-for-a-year-no-longer sort until I moved to the Portland area. Now when I hear of an under-two being weaned all I can think is, "Poor baby!"

Best of luck in nursing your future hippie babies!


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## rightkindofme (Apr 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Lazurii*
> 
> I'm the same way now! I was always nurse-for-a-year-no-longer sort until I moved to the Portland area. Now when I hear of an under-two being weaned all I can think is, "Poor baby!"
> 
> Best of luck in nursing your future hippie babies!


Yo. I nursed my oldest to 3. I will wean my younger daughter long before she is 2 because I will cease to be a nice mother if I continue to do something that has become horrible for me. I don't think it will make her a poor baby. Instead she will be a lucky baby who has a mother who thinks that being nice is more important than marking every check box on a crunchy list.


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## Lazurii (Apr 1, 2011)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *rightkindofme*
> 
> Yo. I nursed my oldest to 3. I will wean my younger daughter long before she is 2 because I will cease to be a nice mother if I continue to do something that has become horrible for me. I don't think it will make her a poor baby. Instead she will be a lucky baby who has a mother who thinks that being nice is more important than marking every check box on a crunchy list.


Of course there are extenuating circumstances and a happy mother makes for a happy child. Sorry for the unintended offense.

ETA: HOWEVER, I am not nursing past two just so I can check every box on some mythical crunchy list. I nurse past two because that's what's best for my kids. You're weaning before two because that's what's best for your kids. Different families, different moms, different parenting. And that's okay.


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## sahmof2girls (Feb 9, 2005)

Not as crunchy as some but,

Your milk still comes in a glass bottle, as in cow not human hehehe

You eat the WHOLE dandelion

People hate that your house is so dark

Your eggs are still warm when you crack them open

an old sheet looks like the perfect carrier

Your dc are disgusted when they see trash on the ground ( except for ds who throws his on the ground







)

The meat in your freezer has been harvested and cut up by your own hands

Not so crunchy

TP....Although I am leaning towards fc.....should I just implement it and see how it goes????

tv ( I LOVE the Mentalist and American Horror story)

I drive way more than I should


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