# A Boy and His Penis



## MrsMike (Aug 4, 2006)

Wow. Ds is OBSESSED with his penis. I know this is perfectly normal....right? My son, who will be three in 12 days







, is very happy to hold, play with, talk to, fondle and experiment with alllllllllllll day long. And boy does he get even more enthusiastic if the wood springs to life, kwim? If he's giving it a rest and not playing with it, he's talking about it. For instance, he saw a little girl outside our apartment this evening. He yelled "hello" from the window and the two started talking toddler talk about ice cream. And then he told her he has a penis. Actually, he said, "I have my penis. PENIS. PEEEEEENNNNNIIIIIISSSSSSS. It's my penis, penis, penis PEEEENNNNNIIIIIIISSSSSS. "

Earlier this afternoon he tried, and was almost completely successful, to strip naked while playing outside.

The other night I gave him a bath. He begged me to let him take the soup ladle into the tub. Sure. He used it to scoop up his penis and scrotum and told me, "look mama, I'm making penis spagetti and meatballs. Mmmmmmmmmm."

Now, I really don't have a problem with it as I know it's normal to explore bodies. Plus, he just decided to potty learn instantly so he's having a wonderful relationship with said penis these days. Besides, if I grew one, I'd definitely have fun with it and write in the snow.

Other than his conversation with his new girlfriend, he doesn't usually mention his penis out in public. It happens here and there, but not often and most people think it's just hilarious. But, I'm always on edge. I don't want to tell him to hush about it all the time because I don't want to create body issues. What do y'all do if your lo decides to talk about their penis/vulva/vagina out in public?


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## Dandelionkid (Mar 6, 2007)

Thank-you- that is awesome. And makes me feel better about ds, although he hasn't taken to talking about his penis to neighborhood girls yet. Good luck with that though


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## pbjmama (Sep 20, 2007)

If we are out in public I just say something like I know you like your penis but it is only something you talk about with mom and dad.

My ds favorite is 'oh my penis is BIG! Look mom it is BIG! Its okay it will be little again. Now it is little. Watch mom I can make it BIG! On and on.


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## missbuns (Oct 16, 2007)

I only have a girl but your post really cracked me up. Keep a sense of humor about it and write down these things so you can tell great stories when he has kids of his own.

No advice obviously. But







...


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## Carita (Mar 3, 2008)

omg - you guys are cracking me up - is this what i have to look forward to???

sorry no advice, just sympathy


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

My advice:

1. Print this page out and put it in his baby book.

2. Get him to talk at length about his penis on some sort of recording device and save it. Multiple copies. (It might help to exhaust him on the subject, but probably not.)

3. Relax and laugh when it comes up in public. It's a phase.


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## bluets (Mar 15, 2005)

oh yeah... my 4 yr old loves his too but he's also got issues. he likes his to point up so it doesn't stick... so he's constantly "readjusting" himself, especially now that it's hot and sticky here. a few months ago, after watching him readjust about 5 times in 5 minutes at the dinner table, we had to set some limits as to where he can do so - the bathroom and his bedroom. so now he excuses himself and announces that he has to go readjust. and when he's too lazy to do so, he readjusts wherever he happens to be and gets this "wonder what will happen if mom catches me" look on his face.

i should note that a readjustment involves shoving his hand well down into his pants... so it is not yet a discreet action. and he swears up and down that he doesn't do it at daycare.


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

LOL! Perhaps it will be a short stage... then you can move on to the next one which might be talking about poop all the time.

Not sure which one is better(-;

We just tend to say to keep the potty talk to the bathroom and set some boundaries around what they can say/do with their body- just kinda depends.

Jessica


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## soxthecatrules (Oct 20, 2008)

This stage is just beginning with DS (2.5). He says "penis, penis, penis" almost everytime we change his diaper.


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
The other night I gave him a bath. He begged me to let him take the soup ladle into the tub. Sure. He used it to scoop up his penis and scrotum and told me, "look mama, I'm making penis spagetti and meatballs. Mmmmmmmmmm."

Oh.

Mah.

God.

That is hilarious!!!!


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## TheBluebird (Dec 20, 2006)

HI. LARIOUS.
















Quote:


Originally Posted by *smeisnotapirate* 
3. Relax and laugh when it comes up in public. It's a phase.

Yup.

My DD is almost 3, too, and she says the craziest things. In fact, she loves to talk about "boobies".







She keeps telling me, "mommy, you have amazing boobies!"







And she'll yell, "I have a boobie!!!"









I just laugh and tell her, "no you don't, not yet!" and try to ignore it.


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

Honestly, I hear SO MANY stories of penis obsession that I have actually wondered and slightly worried about DS's lack of obsession. Sure he plays with it, but not to any particular extreme. And that seems abnormal!


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## benj (Jun 4, 2009)

My son has verbal delays and communication issues. But he's still obsessive with his penis (I was like that too when I was younger---still am, don't think it's just a phase







)...we just tell him that it's fine, but only at home or in private.


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## major_mama11 (Apr 13, 2008)

My nephew, almost 3 (lives next door so we get to see a lot of him) is the exact same way. It's so funny but also a little scary to see what awaits me when DS gets older.

Although 3-yr-old DD is completely obsessed w/ penis talk lately, too, since Nephew walks around nude so much. She has been known to clamp various toys between her legs and waddle around saying, "Look, Mama, I have a penis!" Ooooookay. Maybe Freud was right about the whole penis envy thing.


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## slsurface (May 8, 2007)

: OMG, my guy is right there too!!!

We were at a birthday party with a bunch of nude toddlers last weekend, and the kiddos were all taking inventory...it was too funny!

Actually, I think it's kinda cute...It's my DH, who was brought up Presbyterian, who is uncomfortable with DS's fascination with his male anatomy. My DS also _finally_ decided to use the potty consistently, so I definitely think it's related to his growing awareness of his body.

I agree with PBJ's advice. Plus, anyone who's had kids will totally know what you are going through when the P-word comes up in public.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TheBluebird* 
HI. LARIOUS.
















Yup.

My DD is almost 3, too, and she says the craziest things. In fact, she loves to talk about "boobies".







She keeps telling me, "mommy, you have amazing boobies!"







And she'll yell, "I have a boobie!!!"









I just laugh and tell her, "no you don't, not yet!" and try to ignore it.

It's just an age stage; self discovery. My daughter says she loves my big butt and wants to be a grown up so she can have a big butt, too. She explores her privates and I had to have a few talks about doing it in private instead of spread eagle naked on the living room couch. She calls her vulva a vulva and especially enjoys engaging me in conversations about it when making bathroom trips. I have a vulva, huh, mommy? Yes, you have a vulva. I have a butt, too, huh, mommy? yes, you have a butt, now hurry up and go potty. I have nipples like you, huh, mommy? but I dont' have boobs yet, huh, mommy?.... lol and so on.


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

Oh my gosh this is hilarious!

DS loves his penis but doesn't talk about it yet- he just grabs it every time the diaper comes off. I can't wait until we get to this stage!


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## Oliver'sMom (Jul 17, 2007)

Yeah, my ds is right there too. One of his favorite "tricks" is while he's peeing standing up, he'll pinch his foreskin midstream, hold it for a bit while he's still peeing, then letting go so it all squirts out really fast. He sings the whole time, "fast and slow! fast and slow! go pee go!"









He also likes to announce who has a penis...very loudly...in public. "Daddy has a penis!" "That guy has a penis, right mama?!"


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## MrsMike (Aug 4, 2006)

I am dying laughing at all of these responses.

All day long Ds has been asking if he could get a different color penis. He's REALLY like a green and purple one, please. And then he gave an hour long discertation about his favorite characters' penises. "Elmo has a red furry penis. Cookie Monster has a blue furry penis. Big Bird has a yellow birdie penis. Lightning McQueen has a red penis that goes 'VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"


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## deadheadmomma (Feb 22, 2008)

I can't wait. DS only plays with it a bit at diaper change and at bathtime, but I'm sure our time is coming soon.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

My kids were never penis obsessed. My ex refused to teach them the word "penis" he taught "privates", which drives me INSANE!!!

My youngest borders on it though but only if he can see it. If he is in the tub he is interested but never just in general. We told him when he was 3 if he didn't quit pulling so hard it might rip off.

This is the same kid who will walk around the house pulling on his nipples as hard as he possibly can.


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## MrsMike (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family* 

This is the same kid who will walk around the house pulling on his nipples as hard as he possibly can.

We had that phase, too.

I see I was banned.







: I have arrived.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
I see I was banned.







: I have arrived.

That is hysterical!


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## hibiscus mum (Apr 6, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
I am dying laughing at all of these responses.

All day long Ds has been asking if he could get a different color penis. He's REALLY like a green and purple one, please. And then he gave an hour long discertation about his favorite characters' penises. "Elmo has a red furry penis. Cookie Monster has a blue furry penis. Big Bird has a yellow birdie penis. Lightning McQueen has a red penis that goes 'VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

LOL. This just reminded me. I was babysitting for a family with 3 kids when I was a teenager and the middle child decided to colour his penis with markers while I was busy with something. That was fun when his their mom came home and asked how things went. "Um. Johnny coloured his penis."


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## MrsMike (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hibiscus mum* 
LOL. This just reminded me. I was babysitting for a family with 3 kids when I was a teenager and the middle child decided to colour his penis with markers while I was busy with something. That was fun when his their mom came home and asked how things went. "Um. Johnny coloured his penis."


















:

That reminds me. I should hide the markers. Oh Lord, and the finger paint...


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## MrsMike (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family* 
That is hysterical!

Is banning a DDDC? I love whoever did it.


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## benj (Jun 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family* 
My kids were never penis obsessed. My ex refused to teach them the word "penis" he taught "privates", which drives me INSANE!!!

Yes, that really bothers me too. But the cutesy words bother me even more...


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *benj* 
Yes, that really bothers me too. But the cutesy words bother me even more...

I know. I say "penis" and they look at me like I'm insane. Of course they have no problem saying "boobies" AHHH!!!!!

I am reminded of a penis story. T came in the living room one afternoon all proud of his pink penis. He hadn't colored on himself... no.. he had the CAP on the end.


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## benj (Jun 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family* 
I know. I say "penis" and they look at me like I'm insane. Of course they have no problem saying "boobies" AHHH!!!!!

Yes, besides it being irritating...I don't want them to avoid the word penis or think it's bad. I was never taught anything different.

Quote:

I am reminded of a penis story. T came in the living room one afternoon all proud of his pink penis. He hadn't colored on himself... no.. he had the CAP on the end.
A cap?









My son's only in some sort of stage where he will ask every dog owner that we pass by if their dog has a penis...I don't know why.


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## MamaMem (Sep 27, 2008)

While I am very much laughing out loud, I am also very patiently waiting my turn...


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

OMyes ds cracked me up so bad sometimes.

One memory I will carry to my dying day was when ds found a glass fish bead that you can string to make a necklace and was playing with his fish while I was cleaning a fish tank.

I hear him say "Mommy look the snake ate the fish" and I say oh that is nice or something to that effect then turn around to see him with his pants around his ankles and he had that fish stuffed into his foreskin.














:

I think it has been every animal known to man at one point or another as well.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *its_our_family*
This is the same kid who will walk around the house pulling on his nipples as hard as he possibly can.

DS actually puts a clothespin on his


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## Maiasaura (Aug 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
And then he told her he has a penis. Actually, he said, "I have my penis. PENIS. PEEEEEENNNNNIIIIIISSSSSSS. It's my penis, penis, penis PEEEENNNNNIIIIIIISSSSSS. "
















:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pbjmama* 
My ds favorite is 'oh my penis is BIG! Look mom it is BIG! Its okay it will be little again. Now it is little. Watch mom I can make it BIG! On and on.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oliver'sMom* 
He sings the whole time, "fast and slow! fast and slow! go pee go!"









He also likes to announce who has a penis...very loudly...in public. "Daddy has a penis!" "That guy has a penis, right mama?!"










Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
All day long Ds has been asking if he could get a different color penis. He's REALLY like a green and purple one, please. And then he gave an hour long discertation about his favorite characters' penises. "Elmo has a red furry penis. Cookie Monster has a blue furry penis. Big Bird has a yellow birdie penis. Lightning McQueen has a red penis that goes 'VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

holy shite, mama, that is HILARIOUS! voooooooooom, indeed









Quote:


Originally Posted by *hibiscus mum* 
That was fun when his their mom came home and asked how things went. "Um. Johnny coloured his penis."









egads, i am cracking up!!! omg, i so needed this. i have been way, way too serious lately.

my ds is 8. he's gone through all the same things. but each story is just different enough that they're SO funny!

we have the quintessential grocery store/old lady story: when ds was about 2.5 or 3, we were behind the little old lady in the very short grocery line when ds blurts out, very loudly, "DOES NANA HAVE A VAGINA, TOO?"









Quote:


Originally Posted by *missbuns* 
I only have a girl but your post really cracked me up. Keep a sense of humor about it and write down these things so you can tell great stories when he has kids of his own.

um, no. this is great _blackmail_ material








"honey, be sure you have the car home on time. i'd hate to tell your new girlfriend about your penis stories..."









Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluets* 
so he's constantly "readjusting" himself, especially now that it's hot and sticky here.

oh, mama, introduce him to powder. or cornstarch. or whatever you use. ds loves to put powder there on long car trips. it's an instant "ahhh" and then he leaves it alone!

keep the stories coming. this is great! i so needed a laugh!


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## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
We had that phase, too.

I see I was banned.







: I have arrived.

Girl, YOU EARNED IT.


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## caiesmommy (Feb 26, 2007)

Ds is somewhat starting this phase he'll be 3 i a couple of months

He was in the bath, with his bubble wand and got the bright idea to play "penis in penis out" He thought he was hilarious...I just shook my head

Just a couple of days ago he was in his pool w a diaper on and informed me that his penis wanted to go swimming, so he took his diaper off and tried to litteraly make his penis swim in the water...

He's also boob obsessed but with just mine and his.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

But what the heck is banned? I have often wondered that myself. please help!


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## JennTheMomma (Jun 19, 2008)

My son is 2 and likes to touch his penis. Sometimes he'll slap it and pull on it, I try to tell him to be gentle with it cause it makes DH squimish to see DS handle his penis so roughly. I don't care if he touches it or anything, he's a boy and has no idea what his penis is yet anyways.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbie64g* 
But what the heck is banned? I have often wondered that myself. please help!

Banned=someone who losses posting privalidges for violating the UA. But a lot of members add "banned" to their senior title or a ddddc for fun.


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## mrsfrenchy (Apr 14, 2008)

I'm pregnant right now and should be finding out the sex in a few weeks. Previously, I really could've cared less whether we had a boy or a girl.

After reading this post, I really want a boy! DH thinks I'm crazy, but I think it would be incredibly entertaining to hear 3-year-old penis talk.


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## InMediasRes (May 18, 2009)

Mine is always telling me that his penis is "happy".

I think he's been penis obsessed since about 4 months, actually.


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## flutterbudget (Jun 29, 2006)

After his bath the other day, a bit of towel fuzz got stuck to DS's penis. He pulled it off and started shouting at the top of his lungs "FUZZY PENIS FUZZY PENIS FUZZY PENIS FUZZY PENIS", which went on for quite some time and starts up again from time to time.


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## MandyB (Oct 9, 2006)

OMG, I'm am literally laughing so hard reading this thread that I woke my poor dh up who was so peacefully sleeping! These are some great penis stories!

My 6 year old has just recently become aware of the joys of having a penis. He's got all kinds of things to say about it, but I think what I will most remember was what happened about a month ago. He was in the shower, had been in there awhile, and was drawing pictures on the steamed up shower door with his finger. I was busy in my bedroom doing something with my 4 year old, when my 2 yr old was upset and crying over something. I asked my son to call her into the bathroom and draw her a picture, hoping to divert her attention to something else and get help her to stop crying. After I finished with my 4 yr old, I realized it was VERY quiet in the bathroom all of a sudden. I went in there to get my 2 yr old, only to find her watching the shower door in amazement as my son was drawing lovely pictures on the shower door WITH HIS PENIS! He couldn't have been more proud to discover it also functions as an art tool. Luckily, I don't think the 2 yr old will remember this down the road! lol


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

I have something to contribute. This occured yesterday in the swimming pool changeroom.
DS (3.5yo) & DH both naked. DS looks at his own penis, looks at Dad's penis, looks at his own, looks at Dad's.

DS: Dad, my penis sometimes..all the mushiness goes away. Does that ever happen to your penis?

DH: Yes, DS, yes it does.

DS: REALLY? WHYYYY?

DH explains the mechanics of blood flow, etc.

DS: (thinks for a bit). Is that OKAY?

DH: Yep! It's normal and okay. It happens to everyone!

DS: EVERYONE!!?!?!

DH: Well, all men and boys.

DS: (stunned into silence).


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## Cindy-Lou (Mar 7, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MrsMike* 
The other night I gave him a bath. He begged me to let him take the soup ladle into the tub. Sure. He used it to scoop up his penis and scrotum and told me, "look mama, I'm making penis spagetti and meatballs. Mmmmmmmmmm."

LOL That's hilarious!

DS just turned 3 and is obsessed with his too. He hasn't talked about it in public yet though.


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## MrsMike (Aug 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MandyB* 
OMG, I'm am literally laughing so hard reading this thread that I woke my poor dh up who was so peacefully sleeping! These are some great penis stories!

My 6 year old has just recently become aware of the joys of having a penis. He's got all kinds of things to say about it, but I think what I will most remember was what happened about a month ago. He was in the shower, had been in there awhile, and was drawing pictures on the steamed up shower door with his finger. I was busy in my bedroom doing something with my 4 year old, when my 2 yr old was upset and crying over something. I asked my son to call her into the bathroom and draw her a picture, hoping to divert her attention to something else and get help her to stop crying. After I finished with my 4 yr old, I realized it was VERY quiet in the bathroom all of a sudden. I went in there to get my 2 yr old, only to find her watching the shower door in amazement as my son was drawing lovely pictures on the shower door WITH HIS PENIS! He couldn't have been more proud to discover it also functions as an art tool. Luckily, I don't think the 2 yr old will remember this down the road! lol

I literally just spit out a piece of chicken I was eating while reading this.

You know how people sometimes use their fingers to "underline" words as their reading? Yeah....guess what ds uses.


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## Peppermint Poppies (Jan 7, 2007)

OMG this thread is hilarious. I'm living vicariously through it, since, to my great disappointment, DS is almost completely uninterested in his penis.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

DS is only 17 months old right now... but I'm sure in another year and a half, I will have similar stories... for right now, he just loves to pull and pinch his penis and scrotum. I mean, the kid seriously grabs a handful and pulls like there's no tomorrow... for the life of me, I can't understand how it would feel good...


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## smeisnotapirate (Aug 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shanniesue2* 
DS is only 17 months old right now... but I'm sure in another year and a half, I will have similar stories... for right now, he just loves to pull and pinch his penis and scrotum. I mean, the kid seriously grabs a handful and pulls like there's no tomorrow... for the life of me, I can't understand how it would feel good...

My 14mo DS does the same thing - DH uses it as an excuse not to diaper change. Says it makes him nauseous because he's so rough with it.


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