# Help! formerly potty-trained 4.4 year old boy urinating on furniture and carpet



## Saundra (Jul 13, 2002)

I am about to pull my hair out! I have no idea why my 4.4 year old ds is urinating on the couch and carpet. He rarely does it in front of me, but sometimes I'll catch him looking down at the carpet and I know what he's done or is about to do. He just urinates a small amount, never completely emptying his bladder. He seems to enjoy watching the urine land on the carpet or couch. This weekend he peed on the couch 4 times within a span of 4 hours, even after his father and I hit the roof the second and third times. He has been out of diapers during the day for almost a year. This behavior has begun in the last couple of months and has escalated in the last few weeks. Do you ladies have any ideas? We have not had any major upheavals in our lives. I just can't figure out why he is doing this. Could it be anger? Jealousy? Is it just fun?
His little brother is 2 and still nurses, but Wilder hasn't nursed in several weeks although he still occasionally asks in the mornings, but I usually distract him. Hmmm. Could he still want to be the baby? I was/am ready for him to wean even though he isn't entirely ready to give it up.
Another thing that I know is bothering him is not having enough friends. We don't get out much lately. Someone or other has been sick during these last 3 weeks so we haven't had any playdates in almost a month.
You know, I just remembered that he urinated on the couch a few times when he was 3 so I put him back into diapers during the day, thinking he just wasn't ready for potty-training. Has anyone had any experience with this inappropriate urination behavior?


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

No experience but it does sound like experimenting with how it looks to pee on different surfaces. My ds was really into pulling pull toys over different surfaces (I know thats completely different, yet it seems oddly similar). I've always told my ds not to wipe his hands on the couch because it doesn't fit in the washing machine. I'm wondering what would happen if you set up some buckets with different materials in them and tell him he is allowed to pee in them but not the couch or carpet because they don't fit in the washer. If he doesn't seem to be doing it to make you mad or anything, it must be just curiosity. (Maybe you can progress to using a watering can instead of pee). Maybe there is an element of boredom, experimenting for lack of anything more exciting to do.


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## harmonymama (Feb 4, 2005)

I'm not sure either, but thought I'd give this a bump, so hopefully someone has some good ideas. IMO, I think there's more there than wanting to see how is urine looks on different surfaces. At 4, he knows how inappropriate peeing on the couch is, and is surely testing your reaction for some reason, or expressing some hidden feelings. Your intuition about being connected to weaning sounds right to me. Weaning is a major change for him. I suggest helping him find some appropriate ways to continue to meet his dependency needs. Either go back to nursing, or if you are clear on weaning, find some other ways, extra cuddles, etc. When my DS was weaning, I started singing songs and telling stories (not reading books its not quite the same) while he cuddled in my lap, which he loves to this day.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

From your post, it seems like on possibility is that he's bored. Maybe everyone being sick and not getting out has him searching for some excitement?

Or, yea, maybe he wants to experiment with peeing. That's easy ~ let him pee in the shower or tub and then rinse it down.

Or, if he wants to be babied, could you try that?

What have you tried so far?


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## Saundra (Jul 13, 2002)

Wow, thanks for the fresh perspectives. There seems to be validity in what everyone says. I think it could very well be a combination of all these things: boredom, difficulty weaning, and experimentation. Yesterday, I asked Wilder what I could do to help him not make mimi (pee) on the carpet. He said, "I can wear a diaper." Ok, so I put a diaper on him and we went to Barnes and Noble for our first outing in almost a month. As soon as we got there, he said he wanted to use the potty, and for the rest of the day, he used the potty even though he was wearing a diaper.
Today, we spent most of the day outside so he peed outside and "watered" several individual potted plants. Later when we were inside the house, he had to pee and insisted on going outside to urinate. OK by me.
Harmonymama, when I read your post earlier, Wilder was standing next to me so I picked him up and sang him a song. It is just what he needed! I didn't realize how much we both missed that closeness that nursing provided, but I really think he would be perfectly happy with a song in the big chair. I usually nurse my 2 year old in the big chair at the computer, but there isn't enough room for Wilder too. I am sure he must be feeling jealous. Thanks for helping me realize what was happening. I'm going to try all your suggestions and give an update in a few days.


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