# Bedtime routine ends with nursing - how to change?



## kitikatuka (Jul 10, 2009)

In Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution", there is a small section where she suggests that if the final step in your bedtime is nursing, and your baby wakes to nurse in the night, you may want to change that final step so it is no longer nursing. The thought being that the way she falls asleep is the way she expects to continue to be all night. I'd like to move my daughter away from being nursed to sleep at bedtime, and hope that this may also help her nighttime wakings.

In my head, this makes sense, but I can't figure out how I'd put this into practice. I've tried just moving nursing to be the first thing, but she either gets SO sleepy that the rest of the routine is rushed because she's just been awakened and is now a cranky mess, or, she nurses only briefly. Either way, she STILL needs to be nursed at the tail end to calm down and fall asleep.

Has anyone successfully moved nursing to an earlier spot in the bedtime routine? And, if so, how did you do it? Cold turkey? A slow transition to shift locations?


----------



## alllyssa (Sep 1, 2004)

First of all, how old is your baby?

Second, the only way I really see this working is to do all the stuff you need to do for bed before baby gets sleepy and nurse him then and then do the other stuff. Then he'll be awake and sleepy and fussy and crying and you'll have to bounce, rock, walk, sling, sooth in some other way other than nursing.

Is this supposed to be easier?


----------



## tynme (May 28, 2006)

Not sure how old of a kiddo you are talking about, but I recently did this with my son. He is three, so he is able to make choices and live with the consequence. So, I tell him at bed time "Do you want to play with your toys for two minutes, and then go to bed, or do you want to nurse and then go to bed?" He usually chooses toys, and then I say "Ok, so this means NO nursing". Of course, when the time comes down to it, he is upset because he wanted to nurse, but I just tell him "Next time you can make the choice to nurse." We've been doing this for a couple weeks now, and sometimes he chooses to nurse, and sometimes he doesn't, but he doesn't complain about his choice. This isn't really to night wean, as it is to break the habit of nurse and then go to bed. It's putting something else in between, so he can go to bed without nursing.


----------



## kitikatuka (Jul 10, 2009)

My DD is almost 10 months old -- not quite old enough to reason with









I think the goal in the book -- and my personal goal -- is to break the nursing-to-sleep pattern. And if this helps her to get back to sleep on her own during the night, or, can help break the current cycle of her waking 2-3x/night and needing to nurse.

How are moms breaking this habit?


----------



## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Waking 2-3x a night at 10 months is very normal, and pretty darn good.









I would _love_ to be able to JUST nurse DS and have him go to sleep.. But if you are looking for a way to stop nursing to sleep, I would do it gradually most definitely. Be careful though, it could backfire on you and when your LO wakes up if nursing doesn't get her back to sleep you will have to do a lot more effort to get her back to sleep.


----------



## Mrsboyko (Nov 13, 2007)

After you nurse him, do you burp him still? Maybe letting him fall into a early/ light sleep, then doing a little dance to rouse him just a tad before putting him down will be enough to break the association for him. Some kids are easy that way. Does he suck a finger? My DS will gladly suck his thumb to get back to sleep and about 1/2 the time that is his way of falling asleep in the first place.


----------



## kitikatuka (Jul 10, 2009)

Okay. You are making me feel better about this. Maybe we're better off than I was thinking we are.

Mrsboyko - I do still do a little "burp dance" of sorts. After she comes off (using the Pantley pull off method), I stand and hold her on my shoulder - she stirs, occasionally burps, but rarely fully awakens - and then I bounce/sway back and forth for a couple minutes, then put her down and cross my fingers. Maybe this little interruption will be enough.


----------

