# 3.5 yr old Wearing Diapers



## Jacob'smomma (Feb 26, 2004)

What are others thoughts on a 3yr old still in diapers? My son is almost 3 and a half and I have always put diapers on him. I have asked if he wants to try sititng on a potty or toilet. I have asked him if he wants to wear underwear? He chooses to wear diapers? Do I leave it alone or do something else to help him along? My intuition is telling me to leave it alone and it will happen when it needs to.
I would appreciate hearing any input on this, thanks! Please tell me I am not alone. I feel like everywhere I go there are 2yr olds in underwear.


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## Mama8 (Mar 6, 2006)

Leave it alone. He will use the potty when he is ready too. This is one issue there is no need to create tension over. Little boys urinary track system mature slower than girls do. One of my dds did not potty train until she was 4yrs old. Also my now 32 month old dd is still in dipes.


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## Finch (Mar 4, 2005)

I agree, leave it alone. My son is 2.5, and has autism, so he probably won't be PT until he's around 5 years old. Seriously. It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal, kwim? He'll do it in his own time.


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## francesca'smom (May 24, 2005)

I have an almost-four-year-old who is still in diapers, with a few days here and there where she'll wear underwear and use the potty. My feeling is if I push her at all, she just resists more, so I am staying ( or _acting_ anyway







) relaxed about it. Whenever she has an accident she wants to go back to diapers, so I think she's kind of waiting until she can be perfect at it. I have tried potty charts, but they don't seem to motivate her at all. We have potty books around which she sometimes chooses to read, also she found a potty video at the library and watched it over and over. I really think this is one big thing they get to control, and so I have turned the timetable over to her for the most part.

Also she knows she gets to go to preschool when she gets potty trained, and I almost feel like she's holding off on preschool by not learning the potty, like she has some fear about preschool. If that makes any sense.


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## Kerlowyn (Mar 15, 2002)

I wish the search function was working, there have been a few threads in the last few months about kids 3+ years not interested in the potty, my DS being one of them. There are lots of kids here in the same boat.

Like the PPs said, don't push it, follow his lead, he will let you know when he is ready.

My 18 month DD and 3.75 year old DS will probably learn at the same time!


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## bscal (Feb 13, 2006)

My DD potty trained recently... I had tried to encourage her to use the potty, etc. but she is so stubborn that it had to be her idea to do it. When I tried to push the issue (right before she turned 3) she would sit on the potty and try and then deliberately pee in her panties or on the floor 5 mins later. She thought it was funny. What worked for us is she "overheard" a conversation between my best friend and I. My friend is my DD's ballet teacher and mentioned to me that the girls are not allowed to wear anything under their recital costumes so DD needed to be potty trained or she wouldn't be able to dance on the stage for the recital. The next day DD announced that she was a big girl and didn't need diapers anymore, she put on panties and didn't have an accident for an entire week. She is not night trained (she sleeps way too deeply for that).

Okay, so the point of this entire novel is that it really didn't matter what I did or tried, when my DD decided that she wanted to be potty trained (b/c of her dance recital) then she did it. I did nothing but assist with wiping. A friend of mine told her DS (3.5 at the time) that he couldn't take swim lessons until he was potty trained and that motivated him to do it.

Good luck and don't stress about it,

Beth
Mommy to Soph 12-04-02 & Bella 9-20-05


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## oneotamama (Apr 23, 2004)

My ds pl'ed a few days short of his 3rd birthday. If I'd suggest anything to him it only made it worse.

My dd on the other hand pl'ed (her idea) right after her 2nd birthday.

Every kid is different. He'll do it when he's ready


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## Houdini (Jul 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jacob'smomma*
What are others thoughts on a 3yr old still in diapers? My son is almost 3 and a half and I have always put diapers on him. I have asked if he wants to try sititng on a potty or toilet. I have asked him if he wants to wear underwear? He chooses to wear diapers? Do I leave it alone or do something else to help him along? My intuition is telling me to leave it alone and it will happen when it needs to.
I would appreciate hearing any input on this, thanks! Please tell me I am not alone. I feel like everywhere I go there are 2yr olds in underwear.

It is fine. You are not the only mama of a 3 yr. old in diapers. Seth was four before he was out of diapers just during the day, Zachary was about 3.5 for during the day (around 7 before completely dry at night), and Nicholas was almost 5 before he was dry during the day (we still have occassional accidents). He still wears at pull-up at night (he turned 5 June 2). The only one of my crew trained before 3 was my daughter. She was just under three for night and day dryness.

It will happen in due time. You are doing a great job.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

I was a camp counselor for several years at a sleep-away style camp (parents attended with their children but had seperate daytime activities and sleep areas, we had children ages 4-16)...

You would be amazed how many parents came to us privately to let us know that their son/daughter was wearing pull-ups and/or overnight diapers! And these were 4, 5, and in some cases 6 year olds. We always thought it would be good for the kids to know that so many of them were wearing pull-ups...each one thought they were the only one, and each little one seemed embarassed, mostly because of how their parents were acting.

So don't worry about your little one, and maybe let him know that there are plenty of other children in pull ups and dipes!


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

yup, leave it alone. they will get it when they get it, and not a moment sooner. the worst thing you can do, imo, is make it a big "thing".


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## jillmamma (Apr 11, 2005)

I feel your pain!!! We are in the same boat here! If I put him in underwear, I end up just doing a ton of laundry. Not worth it yet IMHO.


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## maigheach (Aug 31, 2005)

My little sunbeam is still in diapers at 3.5. He's showing very little interest in the potty, except for when it's bathtime. Then he thinks if he sits on the potty long enough, he can avoid a bath. He'll get it eventually (the bath AND the concept of pottying!)


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## taz925 (Nov 29, 2001)

Another vote for leave it alone. Give the option but otherwise let it be. My son, who will be 4 in Sept, is only partially potty-trained. He asks for a diaper for bowl movements. My older son took a long time to fully potty train. This is something you can't force them to do.


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## Proudly AP (Jul 12, 2003)

i can empathize. it's hard not to compare and wonder about the age of your child vs everyone else's with potty learning.

my dd wasn't fully ready until about 4. she still has accidents, now (4;5), and this is developmentally normal. i know that it got harder and i hit more resistance when i got stressed about it and tried to push it along.

hang in there. he will get there. try not to create a fuss about it (easier said than done, sometimes, i realize)


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

My son did not potty train till the month before his 5th birthday. He simply did not "get it."

Another of my children potty trained the day before her 2nd b-day so she was technically still 1 yr old!

I did nothing different with one over the other... just offered them the potty and encouraged them to use it.


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## julie128 (Jan 9, 2003)

The voice of dissention speaks. Some kids need to be pushed. Some kids use diapers because they are too lazy to go to the potty/toilet. Some kids do it on purpose to annoy their parents. And, yes, some kids will do it in their own time.

I have a friend whose now 7y.o. was pee trained at a little over 3, but still pooped in his pants until 4.5. Then, she took away his train set. He only did it twice more. He just wasn't motivated. Why go to the toilet when mom will clean up your poo for you? Her younger son is nearly four, and he just decided recently that pooping in his pants is gross. He's almost there, but he still sometimes wets himself. No need for train set banishment, though. Every kid is different.


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## paloma (Feb 24, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *maigheach*
My little sunbeam is still in diapers at 3.5. He's showing very little interest in the potty, except for when it's bathtime. Then he thinks if he sits on the potty long enough, he can avoid a bath. He'll get it eventually (the bath AND the concept of pottying!)

My dd#2 shows no interest in the potty when it is bathtime. It's poop, it lands in water. No big deal to her.

She does know when she has to go, though. I make her clean her own diapers (take them off, wipe her butt, and get a new diaper). It happens much less frequently, now.


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## sadkitty (Jun 24, 2004)

Just curious, but I wonder what the ratio is of cloth to paper diaper wearers in the "late learners."


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## paloma (Feb 24, 2004)

Kids can feel wetness in cloth. When my DD is in a cloth she walks around like John Wayne when the diaper is wet.

Hmmm, there might be other confounding factors with the use of cloth.


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## Jacob'smomma (Feb 26, 2004)

Hi all,
Thanks for all the input. I really appreciate it and it puts my mind at ease. I just wanted to mention that I have tried cloth on my son and he liked it so much he wanted the wet diaper on longer than the disposable if you can believe it


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## faythe (Oct 2, 2003)

I had two of them, I don't think anything of it. One thing that might work, if you think he is ready but doesn't have the motivation to make the leap, is encouragement or bribery from an outside source like grandma or another close friend/relative.


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## Harper (Jul 10, 2003)

I'm going to go through and read all the posts but I couldn't help but post and say: YEA!! I'm not the only one. My dd is the same age and has NO interest in the potty. NONE!! And yes, everywhere I go there are two year olds that are using the potty!!

I just wanted to add more about dd. She is completely able to hold it and knows when she wants to go. She hides to pee and to poop. If she doesn't have a diaper on and she has to go, she will ask for a diaper. I suggest the potty and she suggests a diaper!! She can nap without a diaper and stay dry. We don't fight about it and I don't want to but I can't convince her to use the potty. I don't think it is because it is easier for her. For one, she's never used the potty so she has nothing to compare it to!! Also, it's a pain to stop playing, get a diaper, use the diaper and have diaper removed and get cleaned up. I have no idea what motivates her or what is driving her. I'm just trying to go with it and not feel bad!!


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## Jacob'smomma (Feb 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *faythe*
I had two of them, I don't think anything of it. One thing that might work, if you think he is ready but doesn't have the motivation to make the leap, is encouragement or bribery from an outside source like grandma or another close friend/relative.

Can you give me an example of what you mean by this? I wanted to send him to a Gymnastics camp this summer but i told him he needs to wear underwear to go? Is this what you mean? I feel bad putting pressure on him though.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Quote:

Can you give me an example of what you mean by this? I wanted to send him to a Gymnastics camp this summer but i told him he needs to wear underwear to go? Is this what you mean? I feel bad putting pressure on him though.
Maybe not that far down the road...the technique used in the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers (yup, there's a potty learning bit in there!) involves wrapping 30 little tiny gifts and setting them out. Each time the little one uses the toilet (or what ever your ultimate goal is) they get a little gift. By the time the gifts have all been "won" the new behavior is set.

But this would probably work best if your little one were already sort of interested in the potty.


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