# Limp noodle toddler... GD response?



## jener81 (Jul 13, 2007)

I've ordered some of the suggested GD books but w/ the Holidays haven't had time to dive into them yet. I am wondering what a gentle response would be to a preschooler (38 months old now) doing the old toddler standby of turning into a limp noodle, throwing himself on the floor and refusing to move is. A friend who recently witnessed this said I should pick him up by his ears just once and he'll never do it again. Frankly I'd rather let him be a brat than resort to something so brutal... and I've isolated the situations when he seems to do the floor thing. Overwhelmed, tired (specifically on his way to bed or nap) and sad (Grandpa going home from a visit) Suggetions????


----------



## Roxswood (Jun 29, 2006)

I used to either just scoop her up and cuddle her while carrying on with what we were doing, or sit and wait her out if that was an option. It depended how upset I felt she was or what the issue was over but talking to her never seemed to help much other than in a gentle comforting way, like "Its ok to feel sad/angry, I'm here to help you through it" rather than trying to make her behave iyswim.


----------



## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I actually get a kick out of this stage.

The most important thing to do when they go limp, is let go right away, let them fall to the floor or slide or whatever. It is very easy to hurt them if you continue to hold onto their arms. I have seen SO many parents keep holding their arm for fear of dropping or letting them run off, then the child's arm gets hurt and they spend the next half of their day in the ER.

If you are not standing in a busy place (store, airport) then just sit down with a glass of tea, read a magazine and wait til his skeleton shows back up again. If you are in a busy place, then scoop him up and be silly with him. Threaten to make him carry you because he is just too heavy for you to carry anymore and now you are too tired to walk. Wonder aloud where his bones went to. Pretend he is asleep and you wonder if sleepy boys are tickelish.


----------



## birdie22 (Apr 1, 2005)

My ds is almost the same age. I love nextcommercial's response







Usually for my ds though, he does the limp dishrag thing (my name for it) when we're out or trying to go out and he would rather stay put.

Of course I plan ahead to allow him transition time, I let him know when we'll be leaving, try to get him excited about the next thing, etc. There are still times when none of those things prevents his resistance.

My usual recourse is to enlist his drive for independence. I might say, "You want to stay and play longer, but Daddy's waiting for us [or whatever], so we have to go now. Are you going to walk to the car, or do you need help?" 99% of the time this will get him going. The other 1%, I will have to scoop him up and carry him. No easy feat as I get pregnanter (?) and he gets bigger!


----------



## jener81 (Jul 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nextcommercial* 
Threaten to make him carry you because he is just too heavy for you to carry anymore and now you are too tired to walk. Wonder aloud where his bones went to. Pretend he is asleep and you wonder if sleepy boys are tickelish.


Oh bless your heart!!! I am really struggling with the whole redirection thing... those are terrific suggestions, thank you







I *DO* worry about dropping him when he acts nutty like that... but I more worry about him hurting him or me falling on him. The very 1st ever time he did it, I went down with him and spent the next 4 hours getting an MRI. (am awaiting spinal fusion surgery, left knee surgery, and just had right knee replaced. lots of broken bits to worry about) The shock of seeing me fall and be in terrible pain stopped him from doing it.... but not for long!!!! T-minus 8 hours til bedtime. I look forward to the humor thing... THANK U


----------



## jener81 (Jul 13, 2007)

Birdie:

Blake is just 2 days older than your Jack!!! And I totally forgot about leaving the house... even to the park and fun places sometimes! It's like he's overwhelmed or something. And no amount of preparing him can fix it. I've tried to limit getting him excited, as an experiment. And spring things on him as a surprise or a secret... it's working well so far. Sometimes I get us all ready, pack snacks, etc and wont tell him where we're going til we're either already there or in the car.


----------



## Xoe (Oct 28, 2007)

I'm another mom who lets go. But then I walk away. My dd didn't do this under the same circumstances as some of your kids did, though. She usually did it in protest of not getting to do something or the other. If I let go and walked away, she was the type that needed my presence so badly, she'd get up and run right after me.

Ay yi yi...so many kids, so many variations on a theme.

xoe


----------



## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

My dd is 3 1/2 and great at collapsing into a puddle on the floor. Often she chooses an unfortunate location, like the middle of the mall or restaurant or hiking path or something. In those cases, or when I'm really in a rush, I just pick her up, sympathize with her feelings the best I can, and pray that ds, who is almost two, will continue holding my hand and walking. It's very challenging when both collapse at the same time and I have to pick them up. It's quite a workout for my thighs, doing squats from the floor holding 55 pounds of limp toddler.

If we are not in a rush and not in a high traffic area, I stand closeby, studiously ignoring the limp toddler and smiling and rolling my eyes at others who walk by, grinning at me. If there is a place for it, I sit. I sing to ds, or tickle him, or bounce him on my knees to keep him from jumping on the mad-at-mom bandwagon. Within ten minutes, dd is always picking herself off the floor and coming over to talk about something totally unrelated to the reason for the meltdown.

How does she do that? When someone makes me angry, I hold onto a grudge for ages! When I don't allow her to do something or make her leave a fun place, she is so mad for less than ten minutes, then she's completely moved on with her life. Does she talk herself out of being mad? Does she just forget she was mad? I so admire this ability to let go of anger and wish I could learn it from my kids!


----------



## abi&ben'smom (Oct 28, 2007)

I remember when my ds used to do this (he's 8 now), usually in the middle of the mall/Target. My dh and I would just let him lay there until he was bored of it (we would move him out of the way of traffic). We got many sympathetic looks from other parents! I think he grew out of it after he turned 2. We've got some great video of him laying in the driveway screaming his head off because we wouldn't let him run into the street. He thinks it's hilarious now.


----------

