# I want a personal restraining device (aka leash) for my child.



## kellid (Feb 21, 2006)

Please tell me your favorites and where to purchase them. I like the sound of the backpack ones. Limited budgette.

PS - please don't respond if you don't have anything nice to say. There's a thread up the road for that.


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## KC in KS (Feb 24, 2005)

But I got mine at Walmart. I think it was about $12. It's a stuffed monkey backpack, and DD loves to hug/kiss/cuddle the monkey.

I did catch myself *just* in time the other day before I told her "don't spank the monkey".
















KC


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

I think it's great when people treat their dogs like children.


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## BBerryBliss (Sep 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamajama*
I think it's great when people treat their dogs like children.



















Oh yeah, Maybe look up backpack harnesses on google. I have a friend who has cute dragon backpack ones.


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## Leilalu (May 29, 2004)

Oh, so it's better to have them run off , possibly kidnapped, and treated badly by a stranger? No, I'd by a leash anyday before letting my small defenseless child run loose in a crowded place.

Sorry, I don't have any suggestionas for one, haven't needed one yet.


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

Super cute ones: http://www.smallplanetkids.com/


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## Lousli (Nov 4, 2003)

Let me rephrase my first post. The OP asked for suggestions on where to buy such a device. She did not ask for opinions, in fact she asked that if you could not respond nicely to not respond at all.


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

I used to think that a leash was just the worst thing ever, then my nephew was born. He used to be THE biggest runner. He could be gone in a second and was very difficult to find. It is not about punishing a child, it is about safety. Did you ever see "O, Brother, Where Are You?" At the end, the girls were all tied together at the wrist with their mom holding the string. The littlest was tied at the waist pulling up the rear.

I found this link, http://the-baby-boutique.com/tottether.html nice items it seems.


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## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

We got ours at Wal-Mart. I give my child enough credit and know that he is intelligent enough to know that our using the backpack does not mean we think he is a dog.


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## morning glory (Dec 8, 2005)

You know we just got a plain harness for our son to use at the barn (we have horses) and he really loved it...thought he was getting a halter just like the horses and would pretend to be a horse. He still puts it on to play horse even though he doesn't need it anymore.

My mom bought it so I don't know what it cost. It probably came from Walmart or something along those lines. Just wanted to suggest it in case you can't get a backpack style one, even a plain harness can be fun.

Oh, and we also use our sling in a pinch...its a ring sling so just thread it through to make a loop and it fits around the chest. Soft and comfy but too warm for a hot day.

Casey


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## Robin926 (Jun 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *morning glory*
Oh, and we also use our sling in a pinch...its a ring sling so just thread it through to make a loop and it fits around the chest. Soft and comfy but too warm for a hot day.

I've done this with my ring sling. DH was opposed (he has similar views to MITB about harnesses). Unfortunately, DS hates that as much as hand-holding. He will throw himself down on the floor and twist until I take it off, which is what he does when I try to hold his hand (and I'm afraid I'll hurt him and let go when he does). For now, we just limit outings where I know he can't run around. Thankfully, he is okay being carried/slung in parking lots and similar areas, and we have a big yard he can run in.

Since you're on a budget, I'd suggest trying that out with a sling if you have one.


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

You can find some cheap ones on ebay. My wrist link(which my son prefers, he never liked the actual harness ones) costs me $2.


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## Vicitoria (Dec 17, 2004)

I think it's totally cool a child could take the harness and act like a dog or a horse. It definitely shows imagination on the child's part and at least they are having fun while the parent is doing what they deem is approriate for their child.

We got the basic one at babies are us. I know they have them in the one step ahead catalog because as soon as dh and I saw it (and we saw them at different times) we knew it was for our son!


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

I think the one we have, but have never used (I think DS would take off running then snap back, which is something my brother and I never did) is Safety 1st brand. Probably bought at Baby Depot or BRU.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I have debated on getting one for ds. My dd has a class trip to the zoo coming up and if I have to go alone and take ds i know i will have trouble because he will not want to ride in the stroller or be carried the whole day plus my back couldnt handle it. In a place like that trying to keep up with 2 kids would just be to much for me to do alone. Yes there will be other parents there but they will be busy watching there own kids. I wouldnt be able to enjoy watching dd see the animals for the first time to me part of the whole experiance. I want to keep them both safe while all of us have fun and a leash seems like the best way right now. I have seen the ones at wal mart need to try to check them out better to make sure ds wont fall on his face cause of one. The wrist ones do they come loose easy?


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## richella (Nov 30, 2004)

Anyway, the level of respect people give their dogs varies greatly.









MIL got one for us. Sounds like the WalMart one. She uses a little strap with a ring to attach the leash a little higher on the backpack (ours is a dog), so she can actually help dd a little if she starts to fall.

Dd loves it. It symbolizes going outside for her, and she will sometimes bring it to us when she wants to go out. Then again, I kind of quit using it when she started insisting on holding the leash herself.


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## Moon Faerie (Aug 2, 2004)

We've got one of the safety first harnesses, but I'm thinking about one of the backpack ones. I was just worried it might get too hot for my little man this summer.

FWIW, I didn't use to like them either. My mom actually bought the one we have for us over a year ago, and I've just recently started using it. The thing that changed my mind was a near disaster. We stopped by the post office to get stamps. Lauren was in the sling, and Ben was walking with me. On the way back to the car, he got free and took off running. I chased after him but wearing Lauren made me akward and unable to easily catch him. He fortunately tripped. He was about 4 feet away from getting hit by an SUV. I only use it in a traffic type situation or other dangerous situation when I'm alone with the 2 of them. He still walks next to me with his hand on my leg, but if he does bolt, at least I know he's safe. If that's treating him like a dog, whatever. I wouldn't want my dog run over, and I certainly don't want my son run over.


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## perl (Jan 17, 2006)

My mom got us one that is called an "Opair" (I think it's opair.com) and it's a little teddy bear whose head has a zipper on it to put a couple of things into attached to a fanny pack thing for the adult. Very cute! One of these days - when DS finally starts walking ((sigh)) -we'll try it out!


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nikel1979*
We've got one of the safety first harnesses, but I'm thinking about one of the backpack ones. I was just worried it might get too hot for my little man this summer.

FWIW, I didn't use to like them either. My mom actually bought the one we have for us over a year ago, and I've just recently started using it. The thing that changed my mind was a near disaster. We stopped by the post office to get stamps. Lauren was in the sling, and Ben was walking with me. On the way back to the car, he got free and took off running. I chased after him but wearing Lauren made me akward and unable to easily catch him. He fortunately tripped. He was about 4 feet away from getting hit by an SUV. I only use it in a traffic type situation or other dangerous situation when I'm alone with the 2 of them. He still walks next to me with his hand on my leg, but if he does bolt, at least I know he's safe. If that's treating him like a dog, whatever. I wouldn't want my dog run over, and I certainly don't want my son run over.

Oh man, how scary!
Even though my mom used them with us, I had never thought about them, thinking that I could hold a child's hand. Then I actually spent time with a child LOL...very well-mannered, well-behaved, never showed much of a compunction to run away, and we were walking, I was holding her hand very tightly, and in a millisecond she'd turned and twisted her hand in such a way it was as though her hand had melted. And she was off. And I realized it didn't matter how tightly you think you're holding on, or how long its been since the kid has done it...one can never *know* that sort of thing is never going to happen.
Of course, that girl's mom thought it would be treating her like a dog, too, so once the penchant for taking off took hold, the mom just chased after her, even at the beach...I would just sit there, remembering me, my brother, our mom, and our two malamutes, all nice and together and attached (OK, my mom was attached to all of us, we were not attached to each other







) (come to think of it, my *mom* was the one most restrained and constrained by the whole thing!), no one able to run into the surf and be sucked under....ah, the good old days.









*Getting myself back on track:*
I think onestepahead.com also sells the harnesses.

Do the backpacks have a clip in front so they can't slip the pack off?


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## JoyofBirth (Mar 16, 2004)

we got the monkey one from WalMart for my dd. She started doing the dead weight thing out of the blue when she didn't wanna go where we were heading. The first time was when we were hiking in the woods heading in no particular direction. She gave no warning, made no mention of her different agenda. She just went limp. My instinct was to grab her tighter and i was afraid I had dislocated something. Even though I hadn't, I cried about it. I culd have hurt her. We got the backpack and she absolutely loves it. She actually wears the monkey a good bit of the time, even around the house. And she likes to put things in the zipper pocket. It has two straps that click on the front and 2 places on the back to hook on the tail. Lately, she has decided it is hysterical to run to the end of the tail and crash on her bum. She's never been hurt doing this and thinks it's a great game. Silly baby! makes it hard to actually use it though. I think I'm lucky though in that she loves to ride in a stroller or shopping cart.


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## SomedayMom (May 9, 2002)

I bought the monkey from the baby boutique link







It is super cute.

I thought we were going to need it on a trip, but we didn't end up ever using it. I put it in my diaper bag for places like the zoo, but so far we've been lucky that we haven't run into any crowds. DS is fast, but as long as there aren't a lot of people around, so far I can catch him.

I was the type who thought they were terrible too, until I had a quick and agile toddler of my own. Seriously, my child is as agile as a 3 year old, but he has the impulse control of a 1 1/2 year old. I will do whatever I have to to keep him safe.

FWIW, I put my dogs on leashes because I love them and I don't want them to run off and get hurt. I love my son so much more.


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## faithnj (Dec 19, 2004)

I got the dog back pack at Walmart for about $9. But I've seen the same animal back packs at Target. I brought it before my DD could walk. I was conflicted about the purchase, but then decided if she turned out to be a runner, I didn't want to be wondering "Now where did I see that thing??? And do they still have them in the store or are they out of them?" She's been walking a month now, and I haven't used it yet, as here skills aren't strong enough. But you'd better believe if I felt a need to use it, I would use it and not think twice about what onlookers have to say. She's precious to me, and no naysayer is going to stop me from doing whatever I think is important for the safety of this long awaited child. Hurrrmpf. To think that as long as I've waited for this baby, and after almost dying to bring her to term-- that someone would have the nerve to judge me if I decided to put her on a leash? It's practically laughable. Do what you want, and good luck finding a leash.

Faith


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

:


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## Stinkerbell (Aug 11, 2005)

i have the basic one from BRU and truthfully, it feels uncomfortable, imo. i used it a few times (crowded zoo, mall, etc) and he didnt even notice it. but i will be looking for a less "stiff" feeling one. so i guess i cant recommend it.

possibly OT (let me know if it is) but is there a thread about good comebacks fior when the occasional, ignorant, nosey person makes a negative comment regarding the harness in public? it has yet to happen but i am curious.

and i am thinking there is a reason she has to live in the boonies


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## rozzie'sma (Jul 6, 2005)

I have the dog backpack. She LOVES it. She is quite the runner and I feel it is wrong to force into the sling or cart when she wants to walk She cries and screams. With the dog she walks and smiles and has a great time.


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## Ceili (Nov 21, 2001)

We have the babyboutique one and the one from Walmart. I agree with the PPs about the problems with the location of the tether strap on the animal ones from Walmart. However, that is the one that Heath really liked so we used it more often than the babyboutique one.

We only needed it for a few months before Heath was happy to let us carry him again or to walk and hold hands.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

Quote:

Why is it okay to treat a small child like a dog?
WHY put animals on a level below humans?

I found a few cute backpacks on ebay. One is a monkey, and it's tail can be pulled out about 3 feet as the "leash". When you aren't using it as a "leash", you roll it back up and it fits into a little pouch, so the child can still wear the backpack.


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## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tboroson*
ooh, ooh, ooh! Is it my turn to ask one? Why don't sheep have driver's licences?

Cause they can't baaaaaaack up into the parallel parking space.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

To answer the OP's question, I just saw them yesterday at Target for $9.99. They are a lot softer than the Wal-Mart ones (too bad I already bought mine at Wal-Mart *pout*) By Eddie Bauer, they had the dog and the bear.

I love it, James loves to have it on and be able to run around and be free (within reason) and I don't have to worry about a kidnapper snaching him up.

I've never had anything but positive comments about it. Everyone comments on how cute it is and I even had one older lady say "You're a good mama! Give him room to run, but not room to run AWAY." I have the dog one (DS picked it out...







)

Mine has to plastic clips on the chest, I really doubt DS would ever figure out how to get it unhooked, plus I can take off the teather and he can use it as a cute little backpack.

He didn't like it at first, but after he saw "Hey, I put this on and mama lets me explore and I don't have to be held or ride in the stoller!" he was happy as a clam.

Oh, and I put my son on a 'leash' because I love him too much to loose.


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

"I wouldn't want my dog run over, and I certainly don't want my son run over."

Bingo.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

It has always bothered me that toddler leashes are so controversial! I totally don't get it. Why aren't they seen as what they ARE? Handy-dandy safety devices! People that freak out over them are confused. IMHO.

Although I haven't ever used one myself, I think the monkey ones are uber cute.









(Ps. Not attempting to debate. You said I just couldn't comment if I didn't have something NICE to say. That was nice, right?







)


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## raks (Feb 9, 2006)

it's also a matter of child temperment. Maybe parents of children who are happy to hold hands or walk right along side mom or dad (do those kind of children exist?), wouldn't understand that some children are fearless and much *safer* with some sort of harness to keep them out of danger.

I am glad to find this thread and read up on what's out there. Right now I am using a ring sling as a harness to keep my toddler safe. I'd like to buy something a little less bulky, but have been putting it off (mostly because I'm cheap). I'm very pregnant, having really bad back problems. My toddler is very active and I simply can't as fast as her right now. It is very painful for me to try and bend down to her level to hold her hand. Besides, she hates holding hands and I end up dragging her by the wrist while she is crying - not only am I hurting my back by doing this, I am also risking pulling her shoulder or elbow out of joint.

FWIW, I live in japan and there is a huge market for doggie strollers here. I see several of them every day. I've also seen loving doggie parents who wipe







their dogs behinds (seen this multiple times too...)


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## Stinkerbell (Aug 11, 2005)

Quote:

it's also a matter of child temperment. Maybe parents of children who are happy to hold hands or walk right along side mom or dad (do those kind of children exist?), wouldn't understand that some children are fearless and much *safer* with some sort of harness to keep them out of danger.
This is an excellent point. My toddler is very easy to stay with when we are out and about, though I have used a tether for a few occasions...probably more for mypeace of mind than anything else. But my 2nd child was a hellion at that age. He seemed determined to do anything and everything dangerous (In fact, at 10 years old he still does!). I had a child 2 years older than him and there was simply no room for mistakes when you're talking about 2 busy toddlers in a crowded mall. I'm okay with people disagreeing with my choice but it certainly isn't harming anyone so why cant moms jsut be supportive of one another? We face enough resistance as parents in this society..we shoulnt be turning on each other, too.

Where in Target did you all find these? Ilooke dbut was unsuccessful. Was it with baby gear?


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

So far, our stroller works great! BUT if that changes, I will RUN to Target for a cute monkey restraint!!

Much better I run the risk of someone accusing me that I treat my child like a dog than he run away and get kidnapped or run over by a car!!

People use leashes to keep their dogs from running away and being lost, hurt, or killed. I can't think of a reason why I would NOT do the same for my CHILD. (until he is old enough to understand why he should stay with his family)


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stinkerbell*
Where in Target did you all find these? Ilooke dbut was unsuccessful. Was it with baby gear?

Yup, it was with the baby stuff, right around with all the other safety stuff and carseat add ons.

My suggestion is to get the child used to them in the house first because they are kind of bulky in the back (it's a big stuffed animal) and DS fell a couple times at first, but now he does better.


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

Quote:

ooh, ooh, ooh! Is it my turn to ask one? Why don't sheep have driver's licences?










I was going to ask one about when it's okay to feed your kids food out of dumpsters, but that's not an animal related question, so I guess it doesn't fit here









We had a plain, stiff one from Toys R Us that was boring, but effective. My dd loved being able to explore further than our arms together reached. I loved not having to worry about her darting ahead of me and falling into the koi pond at the zoo before I could grab her (yes, she was pretty fast at 2, certainly faster than me at 9m pregnant with her sister!)


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

We're going up to BC soon, and I figured we'd bring the harness along. Well thanks to this thread and a really random sighting at the mall the other day of the backpack style harnesses, I just picked this up at Target.

Not just posting that I got it, but posting it so anyone *looking* for it can see at least what it looks like.

DS is wandering around, practicing his buckles with it right now, and is enjoying having a teddy bear hugging his back.









Whether or not he'll tolerate walking around with it, I have no idea. But it's worth a try.


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

So...today I was out with dd doing a ton of running around...I got out her backpack and for some unknown reason, dh had taken the "tail" in to the house......so, good dog trainer that I am, I do have a selection of leashes in the truck, so I hooked her up to a flexi lead--talk about one happy lil toddler, for 3 hrs after we came home she kept bringing me the backpack and flexi wanting me to hook her up again


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## mamachandi (Sep 21, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Stinkerbell*
i have the basic one from BRU and truthfully, it feels uncomfortable, imo. i used it a few times (crowded zoo, mall, etc) and he didnt even notice it. but i will be looking for a less "stiff" feeling one. so i guess i cant recommend it.

possibly OT (let me know if it is) but is there a thread about good comebacks fior when the occasional, ignorant, nosey person makes a negative comment regarding the harness in public? it has yet to happen but i am curious.

and i am thinking there is a reason she has to live in the boonies

*


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## crescentaluna (Apr 15, 2005)

It's OK to treat a child like a dog ... when you love, respect, and treasure your dog, and do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy. I am PROUD to treat my loved ones, human and non-human, alike!


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## peaceful_mama (May 27, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crescentaluna*
It's OK to treat a child like a dog ... when you love, respect, and treasure your dog, and do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy. I am PROUD to treat my loved ones, human and non-human, alike!

That's what I was thinking too--people act out of love and concern for their dogs putting them on a leash so they're safe, like I said earlier...I don't get what's wrong with wanting to keep your CHILD safe too...and happy. Some children, maybe *all* get to an age where they are not happy slinging or strolling, and yet they won't hold your hand or stick with you either...I'm thinkin in say, a crowded park festival with oh, 30,000 people, surrounded by jam-packed streets and parking areas like I plan to go to this summer AND TAKE DS...is not a place I'd even begin to take a risk he might run off, thanks.

(and NO I'm not hiring a sitter, DS is going to LOVE the children's musicians, the toy whistles, and the fresh donuts--JUST LIKE I DID!!







)


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## jrayn (Jul 6, 2005)

what a coincidence I was shopping for a harness today, they didn't have a monkey one though so I have to wait...
I find it to be inhumane to force my daughter by strapping her into a stroller or cart or my holding her while she kicks and screams b/c she wants to walk but when I let her walk she runs away.


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## NinaBruja (Jan 19, 2004)

there was one i found on ebay and im driving myself crazy tryin to find it again... it was all black with batwings on the back...
anyone know where i can find one...


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I don't much like the ones I've seen for sale, but there is a neat pattern for a "harness" in either The Children's Year or All Year Round, for playing with. You could easily attach a ring and your own "leash."

My guy has issues with restraints of *any* kind, so I was actually thinking a regular leash and make sure he's wearing shorts or pants with belt loops, if such a situation arises.

I used to wonder about the baby-leash thing and now I have my son, well, I *know* why people use them!


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

I think this discussion is supposed to be about safety harnesses/wrist leashes and how to use them in an AP-friendly fashion when and where they might be necessary. Anything else is really off-base.

John Lennon tied a clothesline or some such rope around his son's waist to keep him from wandering off. Some of us have Houdiniesque children - more than one, even. An item itself (like a stroller, like a crib) is not inherently bad; it depends on its use.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizD*
My guy has issues with restraints of *any* kind, so I was actually thinking a regular leash and make sure he's wearing shorts or pants with belt loops, if such a situation arises.

I would be VERY cautios about doing this. If he starts to fall and you're holding onto it then I can see you accidently yanking on his pants, making him fall face first (or pulling down his pants, or both). I would try a regular harness on him, you might be surprised. My DS hates to be restrained (and hates to be touched at times) but doesn't mind the harness at all. Or you could try a wrist leash, but you'd have to be careful about pulling his wrist.

I have the Elmo one from Walmart and DS likes it. I wish they had had the backpack ones when I brought his... I probably would have gotten one of those, they're pretty darn cute (I actually showed him one last week and asked if he wanted it but he said no, so we'll stick to the Elmo one. Guess he just saved me some money







).


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## boingo82 (Feb 19, 2004)

I definitely used to think that leashes were terrible. All of my little siblings were clingy kids who never ran off. I didn't understand that a parent could need one. Obviously leash-using parents were neglectful and didn't respect their kids. Right?

Now, I am thinking about one. DS is a master at melting through one's fingers and running off. Ever since he learned to crawl he would take off. Yesterday, my mom and I went on a "walk" with him...he ran and gallopped for a half mile while we jogged behind. He doesn't care if someone's right behind him or not, he's just going going going going.

Heaven forbid he figures out how to unlock the doors. He could be blocks away in 10 minutes. And he could run off just as fast in a crowded zoo or mall.

DH and I keep him safe fine NOW...because there is a 2:1 ratio, but I don't think it will be so easy when #2 is born. And what if they are BOTH runners? What then?

Using a leash is not something I was aiming for, but it's a lesser evil to having my child running off in front of traffic or into other danger.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

*StephandOwen*, I was trying to figure out how to say that, so thanks! I picture the physics of that and just keep seeing teeth on the ground...

I don't know how many cultures invented leashes for dogs and for how many myriad reasons, but I know that the sled dogs I was brought up with sure did need to be on leashes when out and about. Not b/c they were viscious (that word doesn't look right), well, unless you were a goat tied to a tree on the other side of our fence (whole other story), but b/c they were curious and wanted to run around and couldn't be trusted (as no malamute should be, MAN I love those dogs!) to come back when called (unless they wanted to at that exact time).







(thought I had some pictures scanned of all of us at the beach with harnesses, smiling for the camera and having fun, but I guess I didn't!)

And, having been raised by a mom who did use harnesses on me and my brother, all I have to say is I'm not bitter about her having done it, and I have no odd penchants for leather or harnesses, so I appear to be pretty normal, no harm done by it. I guess we'll have to see what happens in my next life, to see if it caused some karmic hindrances!

I'm still wondering if DS is going to be cool with his new backpack-with-tail. I might just continue to be in favor of the good use of them, but without any actual experience from a parent's point of view.


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## SJLove (Mar 12, 2006)

I am so glad for this thread! I have a ds who is 2yo and whenever he is not strapped into a cart or stroller, he is running. And I do mean running. And he does NOT return. And he is FAST. After reading the responses I went on Target.com and found that cute monkey one, I'm definitely going to get it. The boutique one looked really nice, but I can't afford $40.

BTW, I used to think these "leashes" were awfui, until I had kids!


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
And, having been raised by a mom who did use harnesses on me and my brother, all I have to say is I'm not bitter about her having done it, and I have no odd penchants for leather or harnesses, so I appear to be pretty normal, no harm done by it. I guess we'll have to see what happens in my next life, to see if it caused some karmic hindrances!









Same here. Mom had a leash on me as a kid and, at 22 years old, I've never needed therapy for it









Here are some ebay links if anyone wants them...

This one is kinda cute. I like how the part on the belly is wide and padded. This one also does not have the one long leash at the back, but more of a reign. It says it helps when they fall... I can see how that would be better!

http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Baby-toddler...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/New-baby-toddler...QQcmdZViewItem

The puppy one...

http://cgi.ebay.com/New-Puppy-Harnes...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-2-in-1-DOG-H...QQcmdZViewItem

used, cheap, puppy dog one

http://cgi.ebay.com/TODDLER-SAFTEY-H...QQcmdZViewItem

monkey...

http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Monkey-Harne...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Monkey-Harne...QQcmdZViewItem

Bear...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Eddie-Bauer-Bear...QQcmdZViewItem

Leather...

http://cgi.ebay.com/RED-Baby-Infant-...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/BLK-Baby-Infant-...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/ROY-BLUE-Infant-...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/FUSHIA-Baby-Infa...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/WHT-Baby-Infant-...QQcmdZViewItem

One Step Ahead leash

http://cgi.ebay.com/Child-Harness-Le...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/Safety-1st-child...QQcmdZViewItem

Airplanes (used, cheap)

http://cgi.ebay.com/NAVY-SAFTEY-HARN...QQcmdZViewItem

Rainbow colored

http://cgi.ebay.com/BOYS-GIRLS-SAFET...QQcmdZViewItem

Twin harness (I've never seen this one before... kinda cool!)

http://cgi.ebay.com/Twin-Twins-Child...QQcmdZViewItem

Elmo

http://cgi.ebay.com/SESAME-STREET-EL...QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/NEW-Elmo-Safety-...QQcmdZViewItem

Looney Tunes

http://cgi.ebay.com/Toddler-Safety-H...QQcmdZViewItem

Anyway, there are tons more but I.... must..... sleep! LOL!


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## greenbean (Feb 24, 2003)

Seeing how my original thread about my daughter running off at the zoo is what started this mess and all of those threads were closed- I am going to respond here.

I am due today and about a week ago I took dd to the zoo by myself and she was ahead of me. Instead of coming back toward me when I called her name, she took off running and disappeared for several minutes. Fortunatly she was found safe. I got a ton of supportive comments for the situation and in the OP and the following thread- many negative comments. Essentially the negative comments were that I had not trained/taught my daughter to stay with me. I did what I thought was right by always letting her explore at a safe distance and at a little over 3yo she decided that running away was a game and so was weaving in and out of parked cars. It is not her fault that I am in no condition to play chase (turns out I ended up in the hospital that Wednesday with a pelvic infection that was causing uterine contractions and I also learned that this unborn child could weigh 9-9.5 pounds and measured 42w 3d).

I have since purchased 2 restraining devices. The first was from Babies-R-Us and it is for the body and it was $5.99. I used it twice. Both of those times were in a parking lot where if dd was to take off running she could have been harmed. She did not like the idea and I showed her the picture and explained to her why I was so concerned about her running away. In the mean time I bought the little back pack monkey off of ebay and dd plays with the monkey and wore it as a back pack today (her choice) but I have not needed to have her restrained since the incident that sparked the original purchase.

For the record- I never even thought that using an item like this was a necessity or even a nice thing to do until this past week. After loosing my dd in the zoo and having her try and play chase in the parking lot...I know that this item is a necessity for some and the nicest thing I can do is keep my child safe from harm. I agree that this is an item that could be used incorrectly but in our case it was just the thing to express how serious it is that dd listen to me-expecially when I cannot play chase.

I am not going to say I will never use it again because I have a fairly serious surgery coming up, I will have a newborn and a 3yo, and I am deaf. I am lucky that DH will not be leaving town durring that time period and I have a wonderful mother who is very supportive about helping me. BUT if I were to find myself in a situation that warrented the use of the harness- I will use it and use it with love and compassion and with the knowledge that sometimes children like to run and I may not physically be able to keep dd from dangers that I cannot move quick enough to prevent because I cannot forsee it or hear.

My 2 cents and I apologize for using your thread to clear up some things I wanted to say in the 2 previous threads but couldn't because they were closed before I felt well enough to sit down at a computer chair again.


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## mom2jasper (Dec 5, 2004)

I don't know if it's available in the US but we have this one:

Little Life Toddler Day Sack with Safety Rein

Here's another photo of it in use Day Sack

The backpack part of it is large enough for DS to carry everything he "needs"--snacks, toys, books, hat, diaper, wipes etc. He loves to load it up, loves to wear it, loves to sit down and get his stuff out.

It's a 10 liter capacity. It buckles across the chest just like some adult back packs do. It's very cute on, and the adult wrist loop can be detached to be used as a regular day sack later on. (not too babyish looking so I think the backpack part will last a long time).


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## umsami (Dec 1, 2003)

We have the monkey backpack and love it. Got it from Target for $10.00. DS loves it... and loves to wear it. Will go around in the house with it on. Lifesaver when travelling through the airport. What I like about it is that I can detach the tail when we don't need it. Usually I'll just roll it up and put it in the backpack's pocket. Best $10.00 I ever spent. I've seen the same pack online at walmart.com

I was against a leash until I needed one!







It's much easier on both my son and I to use the monkey backpack.... he has some freedom to wander a bit... and I'm not constantly having to tell him to stay close to me, etc. Also makes it easier when I'm trying to care for his 6 month old brother... easier to stear a stroller and hold on to the leash, then try to hold his hand or keep reminding him to hold on to the stroller and help me push his brother. Also, it doesn't look like a leash.... and most Moms & Dads think it looks cute, and ask me where my son got his cute monkey backpack.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

I'm a realist.

No matter how perfect a parent you are, there will be SOMETHING about your's DS or DD's childhood that he or she will NOT like.

In the grand scale of things, if one of those things is that I put my child on a leash during the impulsive toddler years, until he or she learned traffic safety, or learned to stay by my side in public, then I have done a DAMN GOOD JOB!

I will say I'm SUCH an idiot, because while my second child was small, and I was pregnant with, and then carrying around my third child, I never thought to use a restraining device.







And I have 2, that I bought for my oldest, and never used (after being shamed repeatedly by a childless friend). The same went for when my third child was small, and I was pregnant with, and then carrying around my fourth. We just stayed home, and were miserable, unless there was someone who could come with us, and lend an extra hand.







Which, BTW, was VERY infrequently.

I think a leash is a fantastic solution for parents who are physically impeded in some way (pregnancy, health issues, physical disability, etc), and want, or need to take their impulsive toddler out in public.

Quote:

I find it to be inhumane to force my daughter by strapping her into a stroller or cart or my holding her while she kicks and screams b/c she wants to walk but when I let her walk she runs away.
Amen!


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

Oh greenbean, that's so scary, to lose your girl like that!

You know, I think that some children are the type to never run off. I guess that some parents get all their kids like that. I also know from my dad's family that some parents create an environment where the kids know that running off is very very bad for their health; of course, those kids end up like my dad, and their parents WISH for a couple run-offs rather than *that* adolescence. (my dad was the bad seed of the family LOL) Since I don't think many of us here at MDC are the kind of family my dad grew up in, I assume that those who don't see the need have the compliant children. Lucky!


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## boingo82 (Feb 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jrayn*
...and if we feed dogs out of bowels should we stop eating out of bowels b/c dogs do it? ..










I REALLY think you meant to type "bowls" there. Nobody in my house eats out of "bowels".


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## jrayn (Jul 6, 2005)

whoops bowls
I also wanted to add that in society playpens are generally accepted even though they are a cage like device with a nice name, they are an item that most people put on their baby shower list but this is used indoors most the time, a place that parents actually do have some control over the level of safety, my house is childproofed I have no need for a playpen so my child can run through the entire house but I can't control anything else outside of my house, people cars inanimate objects my child may want to eat or knock over.
So if I was overly concerned w/ others thoughts or comments then I would have to strap my child to something (stroller cart) or hold her against her will instead of allowing her to have some freedom to walk on her own. If we had a long day trip lets say to an amusement park she wouldn't even be able to walk on her own the entire day almost


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## jrayn (Jul 6, 2005)

the edit button isn't working for me...

maybe my child will be angry at me when she is older or her spiritual life b/c I always strap her into a car seat.. she don't like that too much. Should I stop? No it is for her safety too.


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## jenn5388 (Nov 6, 2005)

I got mine at Walmart. It has elmo on it, which happens to be miranda's favorite, but I haven't had any need for it yet. I've found so far she's either in a shopping cart or the stroller.


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

In an (_I_ think) valiant attempt to drag this thread back onto topic, I have a question about those backpack-type ones. These are the kind that are like a stuffed-animal backpack, right? Has anyone found they are too hot for their kids? I have always wondered about this.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

The one I just purchased is pretty small. And the one I saw at the mall, a monkey, was also small. So unless it's heat of summer in Phoenix or something, I'm not sure it would make *that* big of an impact, unless your kiddo is very sensitive.


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## Moon Faerie (Aug 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LizD*
In an (_I_ think) valiant attempt to drag this thread back onto topic, I have a question about those backpack-type ones. These are the kind that are like a stuffed-animal backpack, right? Has anyone found they are too hot for their kids? I have always wondered about this.

Me too. My ds get hot so easily.


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## kater07 (Jan 6, 2002)

I use my ring sling. I just loop it around DD's torso and then cinch it down. It was a life saver at the fair this weekend. She had a BLAST running all around, and she didn't want to be in the sling ON me all day. She got to walk and run and play, and I didn't have to worry about her getting away or being snatched.

We got one of those harnass things for DS when he was little, then I realized that it just didn't work very well, and wasn't pretty like my sling is. So we switched to the sling back then too.

DD isn't much into hand holding right now, she needs them both for balance.

It's ok to want them to be free AND safe!


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## EdlynsMom (Aug 18, 2005)

On Topic:
How young/early of a walker is appropriate for a backpack/leash thingy? My DD is already walking at 10 months, and is now hating to be carried. When its just she and I, or she and DH, we are able to hold her hand if need be and walk with her. But when she spends time with my parents, I dont think they can bend over and hold her hand as easily as we can. So, assuming shes in a situation where tripping or stumbling would only happen on a soft surface, and tht the ony reason for the leash would be to make sure she doesnt run off (shes a quick one!), is she too little?

Off Topic:
I think its really sad that some people have so much anger and hostility inside them that they feel the need to verbally lash out at others, esp for little or no reason. One of the first things I hope my DD learns about being verbal is that WORDS CAN HURT, even if you dont intend them to. Personally, I find that going to a support group can help immensly in getting some of those bad feelings out in a productive way. DCs are welcomed at the group I attend, so she gets to play, see other babies, and the mamas get to let off some steam. I recommend it.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

The one I just got the Eddie Bauer 2 in 1 "harness buddy" says 18 months and up.

The Safety 1st one that I also have but have never used says 12 months.

My son walked fairly early, and we got that second one around then, but it just didn't feel safe to use. It felt like if he got going and hit the end, he'd snap back and have a bad fall. So we didn't use it, and haven't considered it until around now, as he approaches two and doesn't fall as much, and isn't as reactive to our touch, if that makes any sense?


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

Yes, that's why I would consider just hooking something on his belt loop- my ds is almost two and quite stable, that's the whole trouble!







It would not function for snapping him back (and thus falling) but for knowing he was darting off in the first place. I do see how that could be a safety issue for some kids, but I don't think it would be for mine. If anything the less obvious the better (since he would be like a cat on a leash if he realized he was on one!







), and really, it's not to keep him from running about but to know where he's running.

You just *can't* have your eyes on them every second. It's easy to say that you can (I know, I did!) until you have a kid like this. My son is 22 months and has left the house, even. His father, apparently, was the same way and disappeared not only on Long Island but on vacation in Rome. I *am* an attentive and attached parent. But it's not healthy never to take your kid to public places because he might run off; that argument just doesn't make sense. It's not healthy to follow your child all over the house all day, every day. That makes for neurotic freaks. And for some children there *is* no babyproofing.

I don't think anyone here is talking about always having them on a harness when out and about- I don't even know any "mainstream" parents who'd do that. The minute they disappear, you don't know where to begin looking for them. My daughter got lost in a store once. My son is not yet two and has already caused me moments of terror, insanity. So we don't take our two-year-old to the county fair, because he might be emotionally scarred by having a ribbon (leash, harness, backpack?) tied between him and mom? Nonsense! If children were so fragile we wouldn't have come this far.


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## mollyeilis (Mar 6, 2004)

"would not function for snapping him back (and thus falling) but for knowing he was darting off in the first place."

Just wanted to clarify...I'm not saying I would *use it* to snap him back, but that I fear(ed) that he would bolt, hit the end, and snap back in that way. Which is why I haven't yet used it, b/c I don't want that to happen.

Just to clarify.


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## LizD (Feb 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
"would not function for snapping him back (and thus falling) but for knowing he was darting off in the first place."

Just wanted to clarify...I'm not saying I would *use it* to snap him back, but that I fear(ed) that he would bolt, hit the end, and snap back in that way. Which is why I haven't yet used it, b/c I don't want that to happen.

Just to clarify.









Oh, yes, I think I was referring to something further back in the thread? I meant to agree with you, anyway, mollyeilis!







I knew exactly what you meant, just probably not phrasing my reply as best I could.


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## EdlynsMom (Aug 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mollyeilis*
It felt like if he got going and hit the end, he'd snap back and have a bad fall. So we didn't use it, and haven't considered it until around now, as he approaches two and doesn't fall as much, and isn't as reactive to our touch, if that makes any sense?

Yeah, I thought about the danger of "overcorrecting", for lack of a better term. DD isnt _that_ steady yet. It would mostly be for the benefit of my parents and MIL, since they are so supportive of DD exploring and walking, but not as fast as DH or I when it comes to grabbing and things like that.

We do have a ring sling, will probably try that before I go buy yet another something for DD!


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## SJLove (Mar 12, 2006)

I can't believe this is such a controversial topic. I mean, when you think about it, it is the exact same thing as using seatbelts, playpens, safety gates, shopping cart seatbelts, and holding hands. Not to mention cabinet locks, doorknob locks, toilet locks, etc. These are all for safety.

It does not make sense to expect that we can "trust" an 18-month-old to not run away. Sure, at some point, they need to be taught how to behave, but that just too young. I think it goes very well with AP because instead of screaming, spanking and threatening, you attach a fun backpack to the child to allow him freedom to explore safely.

Now, if these harnesses went around the child's neck and was followed by outbursts from the parents like "Sit!" "Stay!" or "Heel!" then I would definitely see the dog analogy.


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## EdlynsMom (Aug 18, 2005)

:


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## MamaKalena (Jun 17, 2005)

I haven't needed one of these for ds so I don't have much feedback. The ring sling sounds like a very resourceful idea, however, and is probably less likely to provoke those judgemental gawkers types. I'll have to keep it in mind.

I just have to say that I think it's MUCH more disturbing to see an unhappy, screaming (or worse, a despondent and passive toddler) strapped into a stroller and being ignored than to see a happy toddler walking around with a "leash" and safely exploring his/her surroundings.


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## Hatteras Gal (Jun 1, 2004)

I've been thinking about using my Moby wrap, tying one end around me and the other around dd. That way we're actually attached to each other. Has anyone ever tried that? We're planning a trip with airplanes without my dh this summer, while he's away, so I'll need something. I also have a ring sling I could use as well.


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## robin4kids (Jan 20, 2004)

My only question is, when will you stop using the leash? I have 4.5 kids and I run a daycare in my home. I care for four kids 4 and under and one baby. I take them on feild trips to the zoo, and park. We have to walk through parking lots and other dangerous areas. I don't use any leash, just holding hands or holding the stroller.

I just don't know how a child learns any limits if they are always on a leash. When a child is 2 and under they wonder. For this reason they need to be places in a stroller, or carried when it is not safe to walk. Most "toddlers" hate to hold hands.

Use the leash if you feel safer, I just feel it is very sad when I see a 3 or 4 year old attached to one.

Robin, SAHM to 4 beautiful kids and one on the way


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## boingo82 (Feb 19, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *robin4kids*
My only question is, when will you stop using the leash? I have 4.5 kids and I run a daycare in my home. I care for four kids 4 and under and one baby. I take them on feild trips to the zoo, and park. We have to walk through parking lots and other dangerous areas. I don't use any leash, just holding hands or holding the stroller.

I just don't know how a child learns any limits if they are always on a leash. When a child is 2 and under they wonder. For this reason they need to be places in a stroller, or carried when it is not safe to walk. Most "toddlers" hate to hold hands.

I would think you'd stop using it when the child was old enough to follow directions and understand not to run off.
I don't buy the "child will never learn limits" argument - it's too much like the "you'll never get that baby out of your bed" and "you have to wean NOW or he'll be breastfeeding in college" arguments to me.


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

Robin, for us, it was easy to know when to stop using it. When my dd became mature enough to understand the danger in parking lots, that a stranger could take her away from me and hurt her, etc. we stopped using it. She was also able to understand cause and effect/consequences when we stopped using it (she was about 3). I would tell her that she had to stay with me, or ride in the cart. Hold my hand in the parking lot, or loose her freedom to walk and be carried. I have no problem putting a protesting child in a shopping cart if they actually understand what the rules are and choose not to follow them. When she was 2, she really didn't "get it", and it would have been wrong, IMO, to put her in a cart and not let her walk because she ran off- she didn't understand the dangers I was talking about, so the explanation was sort of futile at that point. Each kid matures differently, so I would imagine that people need to use leashes/harnesses for different amounts of time, depending on their child.


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## Yooper (Jun 6, 2003)

I really do not like to see them used and I have never bought one. But once out of sheer frustration we tried using our maya wrap as a "leash" in an airport. We were between two 4 hour flights, dd needed to stretch her legs, but was constantly darting out into the crowd or towards the stairs. We could not keep up....expecially with all of our luggage and stuff. It was probably the most crowded place I had dared take her to during that can-run-but-cannot-remember-to-stay-near-or-not-walk-blindly-off-a-cliff stage. So we hooked it up. She was OFF!!!!! We teared after her as she weaved between legs, around displays, and under seats. within 15 seconds we had a HUGE tangle involving people, luggage, a garbage can, and another toddler on a leash. We nearly toppled a poor little old lady. She actually managed to tie it in a KNOT! That was the end of that experiment







How do you handle the weaving? We are lucky in that we live in a very small town, have lots of hands to help, and dd quickly learned to hang on to my purse, so we have not had a need since then. But I have always thought back to that and wondered how on earth you all get it to work in crowds (which is where most people say they need them).


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## cynthia mosher (Aug 20, 1999)

I have removed many posts from this thread that were inappropriate and adversarial or quoting such posts. Please discuss the topic and refrain from making personally pointed remarks. It is certainly possible to discuss your disagreement over the issue in a civil and respectful manner. But if you post in any way that is a personal point you will have your posts removed. If someone else posts in a personally pointed way and you quote that person's post in your own post, your post may be removed as well.

The thread is now open for discussion again but should refocus on the OP. This being the second time it has been redirected, please avoid any posting that would get it closed again and perhaps earn you an alert, warning or suspension for your own posts.

Peace!


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## pumpkinsmama (Aug 20, 2005)

It is easy to figure out when they are old enough. For us, while we didn't use the safety harness except for while in dangerous places, like airports when he was at the "I'm not going to hold hands" stage, it was when DS accepted that he had to hold hands if he wanted to walk. Now he holds hands very well and only lets go to be picked up. Even then he still tries to hold on


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## Strong Mama (Feb 7, 2006)

Quote:



Most "toddlers" hate to hold hands.

not mine he loves it, in fact he asks for it. I still use a wrist link though. Just in case.


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## dallaschildren (Jun 14, 2003)

I have never used one but with two kids (one for each one of my hand's







) I can't say I have ever had to consider it. I am certain that the parents on this board who chose to use one would do so in a respectful and loving manner. There is no need to compare them to animal leashes.

DC


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## PeanutsMom (May 14, 2005)

I saw this online a while ago, but I've never seen one in person:
https://www.inventiveparent.com/opair.htm


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## massaginmommy (Mar 5, 2005)

Wow PeanutsMom that is a cool device.


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## Smithie (Dec 4, 2003)

VERY cool. I like how both the kid and the parent wear a pack.


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## PeacefulSeams (Apr 10, 2006)

I used one for my son till he was about 26 months and then he figured out how to take it off. I am thinking about getting a backpack one. He might like that since he likes carrying around a backpack anyways.


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## PennyRoo (Dec 7, 2004)

I was hyperactive as a toddler, my sister and I were close in age, and my mother had me on a harness out of necessity. She sure got a lot of crap for that, but when I hear the stories of how crazy I was, I do not think she had much of a choice. ("It was either the leash, or you under the wheels of an 18-wheeler" as she is fond of saying.) She said I liked it as it freed me from the confines of having my arm held.

I have a harness for Dd which I used only when we sailed (no longer - she's old enough to wear a life jacket and understand basic boat safety rules). She always loved the harness and would play dog when she wore it - I had to scratch her head a lot and feed her pretend treats.

I am surprised at people's vehement reactions against them. Clearly, the mamas who chose to use them are doing so as a safety device. It sounds as if everyone using them is doing so in a limited, specific, gentle fashion. I do get why someone would decide against using them for *her own* children but I have trouble understanding the need to bash the choices of those who feel they are useful.


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## flowers (Apr 8, 2004)

i really like the looks of that little life backpack with the attachable leash...but the site only listed UK stores. I checked ebay and I couldn';t find it. Does anyone have any ideas?


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

Quote:

She said I liked it as it freed me from the confines of having my arm held.
Ya know, I was thinking of this the other day...meant to come back and post. I have memories from being VERY small. I distinctly remember that after a while, my arm got tired of being held in the "up" position required to hold hands with people who were much taller than me.


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## mom2jasper (Dec 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *flowers*
i really like the looks of that little life backpack with the attachable leash...but the site only listed UK stores. I checked ebay and I couldn';t find it. Does anyone have any ideas?

urchin.co.uk has them and will ship to the US --click on customer service and then delivery charges...

http://www.urchin.co.uk/catalog/kids...s/p_56655.html


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## Mama Faery (Apr 19, 2004)

Happened upon this thread by chance...the backpack thing looks cool, but man, the "matching" fanny packs?!?! I just cannot compromise my fashion sense so badly!















I saw someone using their Maya (or equivalent) as a harness. I haven't needed one yet (mine still likes to be slung/doesn't mind holding hands) but I can see it being something I *may* have to think about the more active he gets...and he's pretty active!

No fanny packs, though.


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## kellid (Feb 21, 2006)

Quote:

i really like the looks of that little life backpack with the attachable leash...but the site only listed UK stores. I checked ebay and I couldn';t find it. Does anyone have any ideas?
http://www.johnlewis.com


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