# Question about young children using anatomically correct terms.



## Butterfy Baby (Dec 30, 2009)

My daughter is 2.5 years old. She knows that baby's grow in a mommy's belly, inside her uterus and come out of her vagina. No big deal, right? (She asks, I tell, and she repeats....).

The other night at dinner, she told my friend, "I was in mommy's belly and came out of her vagina!" My friend and I had a good laugh over that.

My other friend is shocked that my daughter knows this so early. She told me that her husband would 'flip out' if their daughter knew/said that. I told her it was no different than a child knowing that teeth are used to chew food and legs are for walking. ???

I feel proud that my daughter is correctly informed about her body and the purpose of a woman's vagina. Should I not be? "Other friend" has me doubting myself.


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## 4Blessings (Feb 27, 2008)

You're doing great!









Some people are so uptight. I'm all for making sure my kids know the correct terms for their body parts and the purpose.


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## 98741 (May 17, 2006)

Don't doubt, basic body functions are nothing to hide! Correct terms are totally appropriate.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Don't doubt yourself! You doing the right thing - how can being honest or calling something by it's proper name be wrong? There's also evidence that children who use correct anatomical language are less likely to be abused.

Cutesy names for anatomy drive me crazy. The one I dislke the most is "peter" for penis and I've heard a couple of different kids use it. What's a kid going to think when he actually meets someone named Peter?


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

Your friend is a bit odd to flip out over body parts! Nothing weird about small children using correct terminology - even if it seems like such a big, grown up sounding word coming out of a small mouth.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

You are awesome! My kids could do that, too.


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## GreenMamma (Feb 21, 2010)

It's better, really, for them to know the correct names and use them appropriately. I have been told by social workers and medical professionals that small children who are taught the anatomically correct word from the beginning are much less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GreenMamma* 
It's better, really, for them to know the correct names and use them appropriately. I have been told by social workers and medical professionals that small children who are taught the anatomically correct word from the beginning are much less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.

I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

My SILs all seem to find it very odd and amusing and shocking that my kids know and use the proper terms. But you know, one of them went off to college thinking that all cats were females and all dogs were males...that's how repressed these kinds of conversations were in their childhood. I'm glad my kids are getting what I got: correct, accurate information and the empowerment regarding one's body that goes along with that.


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## Butterfy Baby (Dec 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *One_Girl* 
I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.

No, I've heard that, too. I take it to mean that children who are taught the proper names and have open honest discussions with their parents--as opposed to keeping it quiet and shameful ("that's your hoo-ha and ding-dong that we should never speak of")--are more likely to know what's right and wrong and speak to their parents (or trusted adult) if something is wrong. That's just my take on it, though.

@Sierra--


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## Mrs. Bratton (Jan 27, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *One_Girl* 
I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.

No, the studies don't show that knowing the correct names for genitals _protects_ children from sexual abuse. It just shows a positive correlation between children who are misinformed and sexual abuse. My guess is that it's b/c the parents who are telling kids what their bodies are really for and telling them the correct names are also talking to their kids about good touch and bad touch, feeling uncomfortable w/ certain people/touches, etc. The parents who are offended by sex, the process of birth, the words penis and vagina, etc are probably just sweeping everything else under the rug.


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## Oubliette8 (Apr 15, 2009)

It might not protect them from sexual abuse, but if anything is wrong its far easier for them to tell if they know the correct name. I saw somewhere it explained like this- if your child hurt themselves at school or at a friends and told the adult in charge her elbow hurt, everyone would know exactly what she was talking about. If she hurt her genitals, and told them her yahoo hurt, would they know what was wrong? If she says someone hurt her with his "thing" will they know she means his penis? Even if you know what the word "thing" means for her, it will make it hard for her to communicate that to other people- doctors, therapists, social workers etc.

Beyond that, they're body parts, they have names just like any other part. We don't have cutesy names for knees, or toes, or ears. I think giving them such names only adds to their mystique as they get older and peers start whispering abut how those parts are really called a vagina, but they're not allowed to say that word. The names for genitals are not dirty words. I don't think there's any reason to shelter kids from them.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

For clarification on how knowing correct terminology helps protect kids from sexual abuse check out Gavin de Becker's Protecting the Gift. There are many factors. Accurate reporting is one (jury's don't know PRECISELY what you mean and are less likely to care if Mr smith touched your tuppence with his wee-wee than if mr smith pushed his penis into your vagina, sad but true), opportunity to (mis)educate is another (paedophiles see innocence as attractive because they can use it to teach the child whatever they want "mommy and daddy think you're too young and immature to know this stuff but *I* know you're special and ready to learn, but you mustn't tell them about it!"), ability to report also often puts potential predators right off (convicted paedophiles have said that a child who already knows what a penis and a vulva and an anus and a vagina is is NOT a tempting prospect, there will be no ambiguity if that child disobeys the instruction not to tell and thus the risk is far bigger). On top of all of that to teach the correct anatomical terms for ALL the body parts empowers the child to care for their own body. Being able to tell the dentist their gums hurt or the doctor their hips ache or their vulva itches is a useful skill.

My DD knows she came out of my vagina and has been telling people about it since she was about 2. Occasionally she tells some very elderly person on the bus and i wish i had an "i'm just the nanny" tee on, but mainly we get along fine with it all


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## kalirush (Jun 14, 2005)

Yeah, we started with the correct anatomical terms when my daughter was about 3.5 and got a baby brother. For a while, she would loudly announce whether guests at our house had a vulva, or a penis and testicles.

Fortunately, we don't have anyone over who wouldn't just think it was funny.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
For clarification on how knowing correct terminology helps protect kids from sexual abuse check out Gavin de Becker's Protecting the Gift. There are many factors. Accurate reporting is one (jury's don't know PRECISELY what you mean and are less likely to care if Mr smith touched your tuppence with his wee-wee than if mr smith pushed his penis into your vagina, sad but true), opportunity to (mis)educate is another (paedophiles see innocence as attractive because they can use it to teach the child whatever they want "mommy and daddy think you're too young and immature to know this stuff but *I* know you're special and ready to learn, but you mustn't tell them about it!"), ability to report also often puts potential predators right off (convicted paedophiles have said that a child who already knows what a penis and a vulva and an anus and a vagina is is NOT a tempting prospect, there will be no ambiguity if that child disobeys the instruction not to tell and thus the risk is far bigger). On top of all of that to teach the correct anatomical terms for ALL the body parts empowers the child to care for their own body. Being able to tell the dentist their gums hurt or the doctor their hips ache or their vulva itches is a useful skill.


Thank you for explaining it so well. All excellent reasons for making sure children know correct terminology. Aside from avoiding the wretched gag-inducing reflex I have when I hear otherwise-intelligent adult women talking about their "vajayjays", as if they had suddenly become intellectually impaired.


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree* 
Cutesy names for anatomy drive me crazy. The one I dislke the most is "peter" for penis and I've heard a couple of different kids use it. What's a kid going to think when he actually meets someone named Peter?

Probably the same thing as when they meet a kid named Dick or Willy









Does your friend's kid know that poop comes out of her butt? Same difference to me! We do use a cutesy name for dd's genitals (peenie), but I also did teach her the word "vulva" the other day. We do not hide the fact that she has vulva & when she pretends to bathe herself, she will say, "Wash the arms, wash the pits, wash the legs, wash the peenie, wash the bum," etc. She can point to it and name it like anything else. It is kinda weird to me if I think about it too much, but feeling weird won't make her body parts go away!


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## gcgirl (Apr 3, 2007)

We taught DS the real terms, but somehow he morphed "penis" into "peanut". Great. Can't wait for his first day at preschool when they serve peanuts for a snack.









He knows the difference...he just thinks it's hilarious.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *gcgirl* 
We taught DS the real terms, but somehow he morphed "penis" into "peanut". Great. Can't wait for his first day at preschool when they serve peanuts for a snack.









He knows the difference...he just thinks it's hilarious.

No worries - due to anaphylaxis concerns and allergy policies, I don't think any preschools allow peanuts anymore. You are probably safe for a while!


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dogretro* 
Probably the same thing as when they meet a kid named Dick or Willy










Good point! I guess I should be thankful I've never heard a little girl talk about her "Vanessa" or "Velveeta" I'm sure they must be out there.


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## feminist~mama (Mar 6, 2002)

I think you're doing a great job!







My dd has always been taught correct names for body parts too...


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## cloe (Jul 22, 2004)

What supprises me is that boys almost always know that is their penis. Girls are taught that it's their privates.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cloe* 
What supprises me is that boys almost always know that is their penis. Girls are taught that it's their privates.

No, girls are taught the wrong term... vagina. The part you may casually see in changing clothes or diapering is the vulva. Your vagina is hidden from view... never seen until your midwife or lover deliberately goes looking.


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

I've always used correct terms with my son. I know some people who haven't given any name for "those" parts. I used quote's because that is what the moms said to me.


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

Yeah we teach the accurate terms. I was even good about specifying vulva but something about the word vagina captured DD's interest more so she tends to say that more often. But it's a lot to keep straight, vulva, vagina (she knows about babies coming out) urethra, and anus. So I'll remind her if she's talking about it.

We do have a rule (just gentle reminders) about talking about "bum stuff" (DD's term) at the dinner table, though. Because it can make it hard for some people to enjoy their food, we explain. Normally that's potty talk we're dealing with though


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## cloe (Jul 22, 2004)

I apreciate that girls are often told that their vulva is their vagina. I have to say that I would rather that than their pee pee or their privates. My point was that boys almost always know what their penis is and girls are given some cute nickname. Like there is some type of shame around the name of girls genitalia. This is my pet peeve as yours seems to be vulva/vagina. Saying that, my kids both know the anatomically corect versions and my son does know that the baby is going to come down mummies vagina when it is born. Though, he has started to find this terribly embarrasing for some reason in the last few weeks.


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## MammaG (Apr 9, 2009)

I think you are doing a great job. My kids have been taught the correct terms (although I fess up to confusing the vulva/vagina thing...since we only have boys and most vagina talk surrounds our recent home birth and reproductive functions, I'll forgive myself and later correct).

My youngest said to me when I was vastly pregnant and he wandered in when I was peeing: "Mamma, you don't have a penis. You have a China. I want to go to China next week. China is where Chinese food comes from." We had a 'v' pronouncing lesson that day, but now I giggle every time I see 'made in China', not to mention the visual that 'Chinese take-out' now conjures up.

We also have been trying to walk the balance between teaching and using correct terms and respecting societal prohibitions about discussing sexual and waste-producing body parts. Also wrestling with the Grannies' use of incorrect terms, which I think will just confuse my poor kids. MIL taught DH to say 'who-who" which almost aborted our relationship on our first overnight date...I almost died laughing to hear a grown man refer to his obviously adult penis in that way (I'd never heard that term)....he didn't appreciate laughter at such a delicate moment. I'm not putting my kids through THAT for sure!


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## Heavenly (Nov 21, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *One_Girl* 
I really hope social workers and medical professionals aren't assuming things like that. *Knowing the proper names for your body parts isn't going to protect a child from abuse* and I really doubt there is a single well done study to show that it will.

I do think that it is good for kids to know anatomically correct terms. I think teaching kids that their bodies are so shameful that we can't name all of the parts on them is something to be avoided. I taught my dd the correct terms for her body parts when she was starting to talk.

Actually this is true. I work in this field and it is common knowledge. There were studies done interviewing pedophiles who were incarcerated about how they picked children to abuse and one of the things said across the board is that if a child used fake names for body parts they would be more likely to pick that child because it is more likely that child does not talk openly with their parents about sex. A child using proper terms most likely has an open dialogue with their parent about sexual matters and would be more likely to tell their parent if someone tried to touch them.


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## Sweetiemommy (Jul 19, 2005)

The nicknames drive me crazy, they just kind of creep me out. Peter, weaner, ewww. Names for the vulva, "peachy," "suzie," wtf???? My mom called the whole thing, butt, vulva whatever "hynie" please, just call it what it is!!


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## irenetancd (Feb 26, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Butterfy Baby* 
I feel proud that my daughter is correctly informed about her body and the purpose of a woman's vagina. Should I not be? "Other friend" has me doubting myself.

You did the right thing bring up your daughter as a brilliant and well-informed individual. However, you may want to tell her that it is inappropriate to discuss certain issues with other people. Imagine if she said the same thing to the elderly (who grew up in a much more conservative mindset), they will be shocked. At least your friend laughed.

Don't doubt yourself


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## wildmonkeys (Oct 4, 2004)

I wouldn't doubt yourself.

I also wouldn't think there was a problem with other friends introducing terms and information more slowly. Everyone at their own comfort rate makes sense to me.


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## misstorri (Oct 27, 2005)

Don't doubt yourself. You are doing a great job with teaching your daughter.


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## shishkeberry (Sep 24, 2004)

I've been doing the same with my son. I don't use silly names for body parts. The only thing I haven't done is stress that the baby is in my uterus instead of my belly. He has trouble saying the word. Funny story, one day my son was using the potty and I was using the mirror in the bathroom. He calls me over to the toilet and makes me say hello to all of his private parts "Say hello to my penis!" "Hello, penis" "Say hello to my butt!" "Hello, butt" "Say hello to my testicles!" "Hello, testicles" "Oh my gosh, I LOVE my testicles! They're beautiful!"

I just about died laughing.


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## cparkly (Jul 21, 2009)

My 21-month old DS has already made the "penis / peanut" connection joke. He was in the kitchen with me the other day and we were making a snack.

He asked "wazzat?"

I replied, "It is peanut butter."

He said, "pspspsps" (the sound we used to make to cue him on his potty). Then, he laughed.

He is fascinated with all of his body parts, as I believe most children are.

So silly, already. I of course made sure that he understands the difference.


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## Dukey25 (Nov 19, 2006)

I think you rock








My DD likes to draw vulva's on all her stick figures (she's 4) I think it may get interesting when she starts school in the fall.


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## Grace and Granola (Oct 15, 2005)

I think I might be shocked to hear that come out of a 2yo girl's mouth and I might even choke on my chicken for a minute! But that's just because I have boys and haven't had the occasion to talk about vaginas yet! And I have never heard any friends' kids talk like that. BUT, I think it's awesome that she knows what's going on. I would be impressed!


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## brittney_ (Feb 10, 2010)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cparkly* 
My 21-month old DS has already made the "penis / peanut" connection joke. He was in the kitchen with me the other day and we were making a snack.

He asked "wazzat?"

I replied, "It is peanut butter."

He said, "pspspsps" (the sound we used to make to cue him on his potty). Then, he laughed.

He is fascinated with all of his body parts, as I believe most children are.

So silly, already. I of course made sure that he understands the difference.









I remember as a young child thinking that "penis" and "peanut" were the same word. I was very careful about specifying that I wanted peanuts "the kind that we eat"


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## KaylaBeanie (Jan 27, 2009)

I knew correct anatomical terms from a very young age, about 3. We actually learned them in my preschool! My mom thought it was pretty funny


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## jimblejamble (May 18, 2007)

I think it's wonderful you're telling your child the facts. THANK YOU. (I said "penis" once when I was 5 and my parents reacted like I had said the most taboo swear word, which really warped me for quite a while.)


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## Purple Cat (Jun 8, 2008)

I thought teaching my children the correct names for their body parts was GREAT. Until . . . my daughter realized that the name of the pediatric opthamologist she was going to see rhymed with "labia." She went around singing "labia, rabia . . labia, rabia . . ." to the point I nearly cancelled the appointment. I don't know any more. . . I'm on teeterhooks every time we have an appt.


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## beru (Nov 19, 2007)

My children learned the correct words at the same time they learned other body parts, which I think is completely acceptable. (I am, however, trying to teach my 2.5 year old to be a little more private. She is in a phase where she likes to point to her underwear/pants and say "my vulva in there". I won't shame her though or let myself get uptight so most of the time I just let it go. She will get it eventually.)


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

My son has always been taught the correct terms. When I am wiping his bum he turns around and reminds me...."don't forget my scrotum, mum!!" "mum, there's a fuzzy on my penis!"


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## THBVsMommy (Mar 13, 2007)

We taught our son the anatomically correct names as well. He wanted all the details of how DD got in my belly, too, so I just told him that Daddy and I had some intimate time alone. He didn't question it, and I know he doesn't know what intimate means, but he's just at that age to where any answer is good enough to fill his curiosity


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## ramama (Apr 13, 2007)

My DDs were taught correct terms as well from the very beginning. They don't always choose to use them, though (DD2 calls her vulva her "little butt"). About a year ago, DD1 said something about a penis to my nephew who was about 5 or 6 at the time, and he turns to his mom and says "What's a penis?" Ugh.


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## JennTheMomma (Jun 19, 2008)

Nothing wrong with children using correct terms. I think when we use other terms like pee pee or something like that, then kids grow up being shy about using the correct term. My son is 2.5 years old and he has realistic animal toys that have their body parts, and he flipped over the giraffe and pointed to his penis and said "hey a penis".


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## thatgirliknew (Dec 1, 2009)

I agree. Correct names are the best way to go. My ex-husband and I have joint custody. I taught my son the correct names for body parts and his dad flipped out and insists he calls it a "winkydonker". I guess my son (who is 3) realized I don't like that word because he says penis (well actually Punis, lol) when he's at my house.


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## new2this (Feb 11, 2010)

I think its great to teach them to use the correct term. Along with also teaching as much possible the right time and place to discuss them...lol like not at the dinner table ect
I have to say the thing that has always bother me is the word poo. More so when adults use it. While I wouldn't expect a younger child to say bowel movement poop is just so much better then poo too me. Its almost like nails on a chalkboard for me.

I guess for me though my parents always made sure we knew the correct term so for me it wouldn't be weird to not do the same.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *new2this* 
I think its great to teach them to use the correct term. Along with also teaching as much possible the right time and place to discuss them...lol like not at the dinner table ect
I have to say the thing that has always bother me is the word poo. More so when adults use it. While I wouldn't expect a younger child to say bowel movement poop is just so much better then poo too me. Its almost like nails on a chalkboard for me.

I guess for me though my parents always made sure we knew the correct term so for me it wouldn't be weird to not do the same.

Poo does grate a little. I think it's because it doesn't have an ending, it just fades away, lingering a little, like a bad smell. Like poop in fact.


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