# LIFE after a 4th degree tear!



## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

I am 3 weeks PP and still extremely sore from my 4th degree tear. I still can't even laugh without feeling like my pelvic floor is going to run away screaming.. and I can't walk around for more than a few hours without a percocet. I got the brass to check it out down there yesterday and let me tell you- it's all unrecognizable. I don't even want to know whats going on in the interior- that's even worse.

For mamas who had such severe damage- how long did it take you to heal? What did you do to help heal the exterior tears? The interior? I'm gently kegelling again, that seems to be helping. When did you feel comfortable attempting DTD (pm if youre more comfortable)?


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## cj'smommy (Aug 14, 2003)

I had a 4th degree too and it hurt like I can't explain.

I sat on an inflatable "donut" a lot and that helped. I also did a lot of sitz baths and used my peri bottle all the time. I took pain meds when I hurt too and would rest when the pain got bad. I did Kegels when I could. I think that was about it, I just needed some time to heal. I also tore my sphincter muscle so I had issues with that too.

Honestly it took 6 months for me to want to even approach the subject of intimacy.
















I hope it gets better for you soon.


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## stacyann21 (Oct 21, 2006)

I was in excruciating pain from my tear for about one month. I was sore for about 6 months. I sat on a Boppy and took lots of sitz baths (fill the tub with a few inches of hot water and sit in there-unbeatable, albeit temporary, relief) and Tylenol. Hugs for you mama! I think one of the greatest injustices in life is that some women don't tear during delivery, LOL.

eta: We had sex for the first time at about 6 months.


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## mom2tillie (Aug 22, 2007)

I am 5 weeks postpartum and I haven't been around the board since. I came by looking for any info on this very subject and considered making my own post similar to yours. As gung ho as I was to VBAC I am really confused right now because I honestly never considered that I could be left in more pain than the c-section I had with my first child. I also had a 4th degree tear all the way through the anal sphincter. I had wanted a large family... I can handle the pain of childbirth but the extended recovery afterwards is more than I can take so I don't know if I can put myself through this again.

Please share your stories...
And, did any of you have any more babies after a 4th degree tear? How did that go?


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## Moonglow Girl (Oct 27, 2007)

No experience but here's a bump and a









Healing vibes to both of you!


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

there are a couple more threads here too about babies after a 4th degree tear.

Mine wasn't to my bum thank god, but went wayyyy up internally, tons of muscle ripped, yuck.

Today I have been really concentrating on caring for myself. Constant with the peri bottle (Im using a witch hazel/TTO mix), and staying in bed leaning back on pillows to keep pressure off of that area entirely (I will need a chiropractor later LOL but Im concerned with feeling better down there right NOW). Hitting the painkillers. A few more days like this and I think I will be feeling much better.

I was told I was not allowed to take baths at ALL and was given a 12 week recovery period. I have dissolvable stitches.. when are those normally "gone"? I'm assuming thats why I was told not to take baths.. not even sitz baths.. but I would kill to lay in a warm tub. Any ideas?


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Organicavocado* 
I was told I was not allowed to take baths at ALL and was given a 12 week recovery period. I have dissolvable stitches.. when are those normally "gone"? I'm assuming thats why I was told not to take baths.. not even sitz baths.. but I would kill to lay in a warm tub. Any ideas?

Double-check the instructions. Having had two knee surgeries, one gynecological surgery and a c-section, I know that sometimes they will tell you 2, and 2, and 2, and you get 8 but they get 6. In other words... it may be that your instructions were to not take baths AT ALL right now, and that your *total* recovery period is 12 weeks, but that there may be a point before that recovery period is over that you're cleared for the tub again.


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

I guess I'm going to have to brave the phone and call and ask, it wasnt in my discharge instructions at all (I asked verbally after she told me 12 weeks, "Can I take baths?" and she said "No"). I was way too out of it to ask for details at that point.


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## Justamum (Nov 16, 2007)

I had a fourth degree tear with dd1 and remember feeling better by about the fourth week (when I could sit without squeezing my buttocks together). It was still quite some time before I even wanted to dtd. Once I did get to that point, it was uncomfortable (pressure) but that didn't last for long!


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## Maluhia (Jun 24, 2007)

honestly?

The 8 week recovery from my 3rd degree tear is one of the reasons we'll only have one child.

Note: if it gets worse ever, at all, it could be infected. Mine got infected at the ER two weeks PP when I hemhoraged and the infection ripped the stitches back open causing the need for reconstructive surgery at 8 weeks PP and another 4 weeks of healing after that. It was over a year before we had sex again.


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## wannabe (Jul 4, 2005)

While you're asking about the bath, ask about sitting on a boppy. I only had minor issues, but was told that sitting like that is actually worse - you want a nice big fluffy soft pillow that will support the area without too much pain.


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

I was sitting on a pillow but the fluff up there only made me more sore. I dont think I can sit on a boppy comfortably anyhow!

Kailua, worse how? Sorer, stinging, what? I have a sinus infection and have been coughing like mad, so I feel more sore, but I'm contributing it to all the cough-trauma.


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## mom2tillie (Aug 22, 2007)

I have shooting upward pain also so i think there is a tear in my northern hemisphere also. My doc wrote me out for 12 weeks but my company insurance only gave me 6.. 6 weeks seems ridiculous to me because this has been much harder than the c-section and I got 8 weeks for that. I have my pp appointment on Thursday so I will be asking the doc about his instructions and the insurance issue.

The physical soreness and time it takes to use the bathroom, the whole process is really taking a toll on me emotionally as well. Does anyone have any advice for that aspect of this?

Is anyone who has been through this considering more children? If so, will you opt for a cesarean or what will you do?

I think my choices will be A) don't have any more kids
B) induce so that the baby is smaller
C) choose a c-section but wait for labor to start before delivering
---it was very important to me for my kids to choose their own birthdays hence #1 7days late and #2 12days late


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## moonmama22 (Mar 31, 2005)

There is a thread in the birth professionsals forum that addresses this, and has some very optimistic stories of recovery and subsequent vaginal births. I want another baby so badly, but I know once i was pregnant, I would panic for 9 months about the birth. If we do TTC again, I would consider hypnobirthing classes, if only to help me relax about the birth. I had a severe 3rd degree with my ds and left me with a recto-vaginal fistula. Not painful, but annoying. I think I sat gingerly on the couch for about two weeks after giving birth, and even that was with Percocets for the first 5-7 days. It was horrendous pain, and I was so frustrated that an aquaintance who had a c-section a week before I had my ds was walking around her neighborhood a week later, while I could hardly stand up for very long.
I really hope you heal soon, and withot any further injury or complication.


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## doctormom (Nov 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mom2tillie* 
As gung ho as I was to VBAC I am really confused right now because I honestly never considered that I could be left in more pain than the c-section I had with my first child.









:

I was so excited about my HBAC, but totally unprepared for the difficult and painful recovery. I had a wide internal tear that ripped through the labia and went all the way to the urethra. My midwife said I didn't need stitches, but the pain was so awful that I cried everytime I went to the bathroom; even with a peri bottle it was agonizing. After a day of misery, I saw an OB who sutured the worst lacerations, and that helped, but three days postpartum it got infected, and the pain worsened. For several weeks afterward, I was seriously second-guessing my choice to VBAC at home instead of an ERCS. I thought vaginal birth was supposed to be easier?!

Now at eight weeks postpartum, I have pain if I stand for more than 10 minutes or sit on a hard chair, but things seem to be healing.

(I'm not ready to even think about DTD.)


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## samuelsmom (Nov 27, 2002)

I had a 4th degree tear with my first ds. I remember it taking a good 6 weeks to feel better--somewhat close to normal. I did have an excellent surgeon do the stitches and didn't have any complications afterward, thank goodness. It did hurt to dtd for a couple of months after we started again (probably 3 months post-partum???). Here's the good news: I had a second baby, with a very, very, very minor 2nd degree tear that only took a couple of stitches to close. I cannot describe the difference--it was huge! I believe it was due to a couple of things--first, my 4th degree happened when I had a very strong epidural and couldn't feel anything, second, my next birth was unmedicated and I knew when to let up on pushing and my OB at that birth watched very carefully, supported the perineum and used a scalpel to cut a very well-timed and placed nick that kept me from tearing anywhere else.

I hope you feel better soon! The peri-bottle and wet witch hazel wipes were my best friends for a looong time!


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

mom2tillie, I dont know how much induction would help to keep the babe smaller, mine was 6lb8oz by our scale and 6lb 2oz by the NICU scale. He just decided he needed to come really, really fast.. Maybe with a hand by his head (nobody had time to look). I just think I wont be having more kids. The tear is only part of the reason.

I have witch hazel and TTO in my peri bottle and to pee I just lean really far forward. I dont even need to anymore, but I do anyway out of fear of that hot stinging.. I think I will crouch for a long time. I pee first, then use the peri bottle. If I used it at the same time, it seemed to hurt more? Then I dab dab dab until I feel dry and use a benzocaine spray if things are still sore.

Four weeks today and its my due date. Getting in and out of the car, and driving, is the worst but sitting in the back seat would be even more painful so I deal.


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## mom2tillie (Aug 22, 2007)

witch hazel and peri bottle are my best friends also... and i think it is actually getting a little bit better each week but it's just a long road to recovery.

i think that i was stitched well which is big relief. the perinate had the resident do it but he was right there explaining each stitch and why it would heal better if you stitch this way and what not...

for that i am thankful, i shouldn't have to have any further surgeries.

but going back to work, not even close yet... thank God for good credit!

dtd is way on the back burner too, as much as i miss it i am way too scared to try that yet!


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