# My 4yo ds is terrified of smoke detectors + more



## ajsgirl (Mar 31, 2004)

I don't know what else to do to help him. I'm not sure where it stems from, but since we moved into this new house he has suddenly noticed the smoke detectors... one on each floor, plus one in each bedroom. He can't really say what about them scares him. He said a few times that he's afraid that the smoke detectors will MAKE the smoke and fire but several people have assured him that no, they will not. We've told him that they are there to keep us safe, and it's ok not to like them, but we do have to live with them. It's so bad that I can't leave a room without him chasing after me and he won't go ANYWHERE in the house by himself. if I run upstairs just to grab a diaper or a pair of socks, he runs after me, crying "WAIT!!!! Mommy, wait for me!!!!"

I've taken him to the fire department to talk to a fireman about them. We've read a kids' book about fire safety. And at his well-visit today I talked to his pediatrition, who is not usually in favor of medicating children, and she recommended taking him to a child psychiatrist so that he can go on anti-anxiety meds short term to get him over this hump. He's just been a wreck alot since we moved, has no friends yet since everyone here is in preschool and it's so competitive that since we came mid-year, there are no spots left anywhere in any school. He's been downright nasty to his dad for several months now (since we moved... maybe resentful that his job is the reason we moved??? I really don't know...) and he gets so worked up and stressed about every little thing. I feel bad that he's so stressed and worries so much. It just doesn't seem fair to be 4yo and feel so insecure.

Has anyone put their child on meds for anxiety before and did it help? How about talking to a child psychologist and psychiatrist (what's the difference???). I just want him to be a secure little guy again.


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## annekevdbroek (Jun 5, 2005)

Ds, now 3.5 years, also went through a period of time of being afraid of the smoke detectors. They did go off once when I burned a pizza.... Anyhow, he eventually outgrew it. We talked a lot, provided a lot of reassurance, etc.

Personally, I would not medicate a child for short-term anxiety. Particularly since you mention several recent stressors (move, school, etc.). Better to address the overall adjustment issues than to toss medication on top of everything else.

A psychologist goes to grad school to learn to do therapy. A psychiatrist goes to medical school to learn to prescribe medication.


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## happyfrog (Aug 12, 2004)

my ds 3 yr old has always had 'weird' fears.

He doesn't ahve the smoke detector one, (at the moment) but if he did, i would think of a way to cover the smoke detector - not really cover cover it, but maybe make a craft project out of sparkly plasticy ribbon or even that plasticy 'tissue' paper (I've seen it at Michael's or other craft stores in the gift bag section) that you cut into long shreds and then hang around the smoke detector? it won't affect it's working but it will kind of conceal it. . .. this is something i've thought about as soon, we'll be purchasing special smoke detectors for the 3 floors of our house and they will not only have a 90db loud alarm on it, but it will also have strobe lights (I have a Deaf son) and I fully expect that to be a fear for my 3 yr old - the one with all the fears of stuff. .. . .

my son has fears of items in our house and I fiugre out ways to cover them but yet not make them unusable . ..

just try to think of something and eventually (probably) your child will outgrow that fear.

nak sorry about typing


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Hi,
wow, what a lot of stress for a little guy. Before you try meds, I would try some good counseling first. Play therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy can really help. If those don't help, then I would try meds, but really that would be a last resort. I'm not completely anti-med, but since you haven't tried anything yet, why jump to meds?

I would read up on childhood anxiety, and see if you can do some classes (not preschool, but maybe things like soccer or art). Is there a way that he can help you paint his room or something to help him feel more at home?

Make sure you get out into the outdoors regularly (good for everyone). You might also try adding fish oils to his diet to see if that helps.


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## 425lisamarie (Mar 4, 2005)

DS has fears about things. It's normal, and I've never thought of meds for being afraid of something. I have been afraid of things myself, still am.


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## Demeter9 (Nov 14, 2006)

There is a smoke detector that you can get that will record your voice. The idea is that they found that children up to 13 will sleep through a smoke alarm.

Hard to imagine, but it seems to be true. Perhaps if you got these, and then he got to hear that they talk in your voice as the alarm he'll feel better?


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## Roar (May 30, 2006)

I would really urge you to consider other options before medication. Altering the brain chemistry of a four year old should never be place to start. I agree with the suggestions to consider a visit with a psychologist. They could help you with some ideas to address this problem without using medication.


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## LauraLoo (Oct 9, 2006)

Other pp's have had really good suggestions.

Just something else to consider -- do your smoke dectectors have those little green lights on them? Is there a possibility that in the dark they may look a little freaky and it carries over to daytime as well?


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## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

I wouldn't put him on medication.
A friend of mine had an art therapist work with her dd after her dh died. She really felt like it helped. It seems like a good way to get your four-year-old to talk about what is bothering him.


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## Sharon RN (Sep 6, 2006)

This is going to sound goofy, but work with me here...

My ds had some anxiety issues recently. It's a long story, but the not wanting to be alone was a big part.

Well, one night when my sister and I were a little inebriated, we did some "puppet" therapy about a guy she was upset about. It was actually alot of fun and we laughed hard.

Well, in a moment of desperation where I couldn't even PEE alone, we got a couple of stuffed animals and I did some puppet therapy with my son. It started very light-hearted and was meant to be funny. "Tell me how Mommy sounds when you interrupt her in the shower." Laugh riot, and a little eye-opening! Eventually, I was able to work it to where his character (I had my own) talked about what was making him so scared.

He got many things out. We were able to talk about things we could do to help him feel better, through the puppets. Separating himself seemed to help.

It's not so much of an issue anymore, he's doing alot better. I don't know if this would help, as my ds is older than yours. But I don't think it would hurt to give it a shot!

Good luck and sending you lots of hugs!


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## Jimibell (Feb 18, 2003)

great advice from the pps I think, especially the puppet one, I want to do that too, it sounds like fun!
I would find a new doc, that's pretty scary that he/she recommended medicine already......
we moved recently and my dd (4 at the time) was freaked out for about 2-3 months.....she screamed and cried a lot.....
I think it's normal behavior to react like this with such a stressful situation....moving and new school is an extremely big change for little ones.....
I would do some things like what pps have suggested and give it time......
meds?? no way!!!


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## ajsgirl (Mar 31, 2004)

We're not talking about normal fear here. It's controlling his life. I will definitely not medicate him without trying to work with a child psychologist first.


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## j924 (May 17, 2005)

You've gotten some very great advice so far, but just wanted to give a btdt post. When my dd's were 6,4,and 2 our next door neighbors house burned to the ground. We had to evacuate and basically watched/heard everything. The tragedy in this fire was that there were no smoke alarms. My 2nd dd(4) was traumatized and put all of her fear into the smoke alarms. She could find a smoke alarm anywhere and would be velcroed to me. Like you we had alarms in every room in the house. I couldn't be out of her sight for well over a year around her 5th birthday. She was able to talk to someon and while that did help, she still needed my prescence. It really sucked when ds was born 2 mos into this journey,but we got through it. She is now seven and will sometimes freak if she hears an unexplained beeping but being there for her was what seemed to alleviate her fears.


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## ajsgirl (Mar 31, 2004)

J924, Thank you. I can tell you know what I'm talking about here. Your dd sounds just like my ds. My ds tends to obsess over everything in his life, from play (right now it's trains) to fears (smoke detectors) to his eating. He's been like this for as long as we can remember and it's really starting to worry us. I guess we're just looking for a next step. We want to be proactive in case this ends up turning into an adult disorder or something else.


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## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

My 4 yo son is in this stage right now of being terrified to be alone. I can't go anywhere in the house without him saying "take me with you". And he also is afraid of fire and the fire detectors and our security system.

I think at this age, kids are just realizing that bad things can happen (fire, burglars, etc) and I am really hoping it is just a stage.

We decided to have a fire drill at our house so that he would clearly understand what would happen if the alarm went off. I even made the alarm go off by using the test button. That seemed to help and he isn't as afraid about fire anymore.


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## LauraLoo (Oct 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ajsgirl* 
He's been like this for as long as we can remember and it's really starting to worry us. I guess we're just looking for a next step. We want to be proactive in case this ends up turning into an adult disorder or something else.

You might want to take a look at "Freeing Your Child From Anxiety," by Tamar E. Chansky, PhD.
http://www.amazon.com/Freeing-Your-C...3304343&sr=8-1

It has, IMO, really good information on what anxiety disorders are and aren't and the different types of disorders: General Anxiety Disorder (GAD,), Social Anxiety, OCD, Phobias, etc. It also has strategies for dealing with anxiety. This isn't to replace counseling, but to help you understand more about anxiety and what the child is going through. It actually has a good section on how to choose a psychologist/counselor. It might be a great first step.


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