# vagina or vulva...and why is it easier to say penis?



## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

I know the correct term is "vulva". Which one do you use with your littles? I have thought of "yoni", but it doesn't feel right. Not everyone knows what a yoni is.









Today, my 2yo dd was screaming because she thought her brother had her doll. We have two dolls, other than being anatomically correct, they look exactly the same from behind.







So, I take the doll and say, "no baby, this is brothers dolly, see, it has a penis. Your baby has a blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah". And I just trailed my sentence off into nothing.







I find penis sooooo much easier to say.







I don't know why.







See...penis, penis, penis.








I want my children to use the correct words. I have past childhood abuse issues and I don't want to leave any room for error where these things are concerned. I definitely don't want them calling their body parts "peepee" and "dinkie" like we did, for crying out loud.







I swear, everytime I go to say vagina...or specifically vulva, it gets stuck in my throat and I say something stupid. God forgive me, I called it a coochie the other day.







(eta: I hope that word isn't offensive.







I don't even know where it came from, it just came out of my mouth.)

So what do you teach your little girls and why is it so hard for me say the "v" words?


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

It's probably hard for you to say the "V words" because you grew up not saying them. Maybe you're subconsciously ashamed or something? Were you raised using slang terms for body parts?

Our 2yo DD calls hers a vagina, or actually her "vina"







We tried teaching her vulva and she just can't pronounce it at all. She has trouble pronouncing some words. I hate the word "coochie" for some reason, but it's not offensive to me. It mainly just reminds me of my SIL who I can't stand because that's what she always says.

**Side story** Her pronounciation of some words is so bad that she kept calling her baby sister Saffron "Tampon". We started calling her Saff-rin thinking India would be able to say that so now the baby is "Tappin" or "Tappy"


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## LauraLoo (Oct 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2Sweeties1Angel* 
It's probably hard for you to say the "V words" because you grew up not saying them. Maybe you're subconsciously ashamed or something? Were you raised using slang terms for body parts?

This was my first thought. And many boys are conditioned to not only talk about their penis', but to compare them, etc!

My ds calls her's her "gina." V's are kind of hard to say!


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

We use the word vulva most of the time, because most of the time we are talking about the actual vulva, not the vagina. I think you just need to start saying the word many, many times (how about saying it to yourself under your breath?0 so you get used to it. I have no problems saying it, even in front of strangers! I am undergoing fertility treatments and often get vaginal ultrasounds, which gets tricky because technically it's my vagina getting checked out, my son is usually sitting in a chair to my side while this happens and we talk about what is happening. Since I am a sahm, I have no choice but to take him most times!


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## P-chan (Jan 23, 2004)

I use "vulva." It's cute when she tries to say it--"woah-wah!"

My husband would rather we teach "vagina," just because that's what most families seem to use with young girls. My take is, when she points to me and asks what it is, she's not pointing to my vagina, she's pointing to my vulva. So that's what I call it. I will, for family harmony, sometimes say, "That's your vulva. Your vagina is down there, plus that's where your pee comes out." It's not uncommon in this house to hear one parent calling out "Vagina!" or "Vulva!" from another room to remind the other one.

We also have started calling the entire area (vulva and derriere for her, penis and derriere for him) "privates," as in "It's not OK to tickle your brother's/sister's privates."

Penis is easier. I think mostly because of its double function as sexual organ and urination device.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

I use "vagina". It's the technical term for the female sexual organs. My kids somehow ended up saying "pee pee" tho.


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## tug (Jun 16, 2003)

i agree. it is soooo much harder to say the "v" words. and i have no excuse. my mother was a nurse and dutch and very practical and used the words she meant when she meant them with no shame, etc etc etc. in my head, i guess i am still a 6 yr old ("ha ha, i said...."). and my daughter must understand my difficulty because over the summer, when we were in the dressing room changing after swimming, she would periodically exhibit various parts and say, "mommy, what is this? is this my 'gina, mommy? what what?" then she switched to the totally awful: "mommy, my BOOTIE! my BOOTIE"

....or is that booty....

i love when i get complimented on her speech skills right after an interaction of this sort....


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## funkygranolamama (Aug 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
God forgive me, I called it a coochie the other day.







(eta: I hope that word isn't offensive.







I don't even know where it came from, it just came out of my mouth.)

So what do you teach your little girls and why is it so hard for me say the "v" words?


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## broodymama (May 3, 2004)

I guess it's hard for me because it's not something I grew up doing. My parents never told me what mine was called, it was never a term I heard used by anyone. I'm changing that with my kids, though.

DS, on the other hand, has no problem saying vulva. To _everyone_. The cashier, the bank teller, the other people at the dinner party, he thinks everyone needs to know that his sister and mommy have vulvas and he has a penis.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red Sonja* 
I guess it's hard for me because it's not something I grew up doing. My parents never told me what mine was called, it was never a term I heard used by anyone. I'm changing that with my kids, though.

This is just how I feel, and I'm not sure who the heck told us our body parts were called, "pee pee" and "dinkie".







I just got off the phone with my sil who confessed that once since they have been married, my brother has actually mistakenly referred to his penis as a "dinkie". We both fell out.









Dh says that we should use both names where they are needed. Vulva for the outer parts and vagina for the inner parts. My only concern is that most people use vagina and they may not know what the heck she is saying.

Quote:

I use "vagina". It's the technical term for the female sexual organs.
Our thought is that dd will seldom be describing her actual vagina, which is inside, but her vulva, which is outside.

You vagina is the actual canal from the vaginal opening to the cervix, yes? And the labia, clitoris and all those outside parts are the vulva?
Well, crap.







: Now I'm going to have to say labia.


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## BeckC (Nov 27, 2006)

I just had a conversation with my mother about this. I don't see what the big deal is calling parts by their correct names. I mean I get why some people are uncomfortable, but not why some people (my mother) are so adamant that they be called by pet names. This was the conversation from the point that we actually got to that topic (don't ask me how we got there, I don't remember) lol

Mom: I just don't like little kids saying the word penis.

Me: Why?

Mom: It's a dirty word.

Me. Why is it a dirty word? That's what it's is.

Mom: It's too big a word. Kids should say peepee and bumbum.

Me:







Well, you're not going to like this then. My kids are going to be taught proper names for their parts including penis, vulva, and buttocks.

Mom: What?!? You can't teach a child that! I'm 52 and I don't even say (whispers) *vulva*. You might as well have them say [email protected]!

Me: Mom, that's gross. Don't say [email protected]









Mom: Well, at my house they have to say peepee and bumbum.

Me: I'm not going to teach my children to say silly made up names for their body parts when they know the proper ones just because you and Dad are hung up about genitals.

Mom: Oh lord, please don't teach them "genitals"

Me: Oh geez, ma. Privates. Is that ok?

Mom: Oh yes! Privates is good! Now can we change the subject?


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## lerlerler (Mar 31, 2004)

I agree. penis isn't that hard to say. And I SWEAR, I will reach DD "vulva"

But I must confess that at just-turned-three, it's all still referred to as part of her "tushie"...

"did you wipe both the FRONT part and the back part of your "tushie"?"

This makes me a pathetic mama


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

we use 'vulva' as my dd's vagina has no significance for her right now. Its not been hard for me to use but boy parts are more commonly discussed in our society it seems so perhaps that's why its easier for you to use the word 'penis'.


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *P-chan* 
I use "vulva." It's cute when she tries to say it--"woah-wah!"

My husband would rather we teach "vagina," just because that's what most families seem to use with young girls. My take is, when she points to me and asks what it is, she's not pointing to my vagina, she's pointing to my vulva. So that's what I call it. I will, for family harmony, sometimes say, "That's your vulva. Your vagina is down there, plus that's where your pee comes out." It's not uncommon in this house to hear one parent calling out "Vagina!" or "Vulva!" from another room to remind the other one.

We also have started calling the entire area (vulva and derriere for her, penis and derriere for him) "privates," as in "It's not OK to tickle your brother's/sister's privates."

Penis is easier. I think mostly because of its double function as sexual organ and urination device.

My daughter says Bulba. (she's 2)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
I use "vagina". It's the technical term for the female sexual organs. My kids somehow ended up saying "pee pee" tho.









This is a big pet peeve of mine. See bleow, as this poster explains it nicer than I do,

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 
This is just how I feel, and I'm not sure who the heck told us our body parts were called, "pee pee" and "dinkie".







I just got off the phone with my sil who confessed that once since they have been married, my brother has actually mistakenly referred to his penis as a "dinkie". We both fell out.









Dh says that we should use both names where they are needed. Vulva for the outer parts and vagina for the inner parts. My only concern is that most people use vagina and they may not know what the heck she is saying.

Our thought is that dd will seldom be describing her actual vagina, which is inside, but her vulva, which is outside.

You vagina is the actual canal from the vaginal opening to the cervix, yes? And the labia, clitoris and all those outside parts are the vulva?
Well, crap.







: Now I'm going to have to say labia.


















I was taught labia growing up. Vulva would have been more accurate, but vagina would have been totally wrong.


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## LeftField (Aug 2, 2002)

I have sons, but I have used the word "vulva" with them for girls' parts because it's describes the outer genitals on girls. When talking about childbirth the other day, I used the word "vagina" because it's the word, as I told them, for the tunnel that the baby comes out of. It IS hard to say these words, and I think it comes from a sense of shame that women have conditioned into them. Men are taught that they are fabulous for having a penis. Women are taught that they are dirty or shameful on some level. I think it's one of those things that becomes easier to say, the more you say it.


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## greeny (Apr 27, 2007)

Quote:

I just got off the phone with my sil who confessed that once since they have been married, my brother has actually mistakenly referred to his penis as a "dinkie".
This is so flippin' funny that I swallowed my coffee all wrong and am coughing so hard I can hardly type.







Too funny.

I also find "penis" easier to say than "vagina" or "vulva." Dd (4) just calls everything (front and back) her butt or bum. I guess I should start using proper terms.


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Well, I sure am glad that I am not the only one around here who has no problems saying penis, but am afraid to use proper terminology for female genitalia. I had 3 boys before having a dd, so I figured I was just more used to penises.







My mom called it a po-po, but I always hated it!! After I gave birth she asked me if my po-po hurt right in front of the nurse and whoever else was there and I said, No. But my vagina does. I think that was one of the first and last times I said vagina!!









I AM trying to use appropriate words with dd. I will try harder!!


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## chinaKat (Aug 6, 2005)

I guess I'm weird b/c I think that "vulva" is fun and beautiful word. I love saying it! _Vulva! Vulva!_ See how it rolls of the tongue? It's rich, like velvet!

For what it's worth, DD has been taught vulva and penis, and happily informs grandparents and busdrivers alike which one a boy has and which one a girl has.

I'm not going to make up a funny word for elbow or kneecap, so why make one up for vulva?


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

We use vulva, and I also think it is a really beautiful word.

My daughter says bulba.


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## mamasgroovin (Nov 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chinaKat* 
I guess I'm weird b/c I think that "vulva" is fun and beautiful word. I love saying it! _Vulva! Vulva!_ See how it rolls of the tongue? It's rich, like velvet!





































Thank you! You make me smile!


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## frogautumn (May 24, 2007)

Just had to join in the fun...

My ds has recently discovered his penis. So my husband said, "You found your fireman!" FIREMAN?!?







:

Luckily, ds is only 5mo. We've got some time to work on our anatomy!


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## WNB (Apr 29, 2006)

lol @ fireman!

That actually seems to be one of the better "fake" names -- nice, evocative image haha.


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## memiles (Feb 23, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lerlerler* 
I agree. penis isn't that hard to say. And I SWEAR, I will reach DD "vulva"

But I must confess that at just-turned-three, it's all still referred to as part of her "tushie"...

"did you wipe both the FRONT part and the back part of your "tushie"?"

This makes me a pathetic mama


Add me to the pathetic bench!

I've taught vulva. We've talked about vagina. I'm a doula for pete's sake, no body part is without discussion in my house.

Yet my 4yo insists on calling it her "front bottom".







:


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## Adasmommy (Feb 26, 2005)

I am more comfortable with penis than vulva too, but not so much that I let it stop me from sounding comfortable when I discuss it with dd. I find vulva easier than vagina, which is what we said as children. My parents don't have hang ups so why's there a twinge of discomfort?

I was thinking that maybe it was because (some) men refer to womanly anatomy in dirty ways more often than (some) women do men's. Of course, I don't really get a dirty connotation from the words vagina or vulva the way I do from another childhood name for it: pussy. I swear, when I was a kid, that was the kiddie version, now it's nasty!

Anyway, I'm going to remind myself to think of vulva as a beautiful velvety word and I bet I can rid myself of the mental hesitancy! Thanks for the good viewpoint, pp!


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

Just chiming in to agree. It must be social conditioning. I have no problem saying penis, but I have a harder time saying vulva.

That said, I do use the word vulva, but not as often as I should. I generally say vulva or private area.


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## texmama (Jun 4, 2005)

I am getting used to saying vulva, I think the more you say it the easier it gets - I don't think I ever used the word "vulva" before dd was born. I would have preferred to say peepee, just because that's what I called it growing up, and that's what I was comfortable with. But I want my daughter to know the right name for it. Heck, I never used a mirror to look at my vulva/labia/vagina until college - I don't want that kind of mystery for my daughter - she already told me that there's a little hole that pee comes out, and I said, "yup, that's your urethra!" I have no problem with that, or anus, but vulva did take some getting used to.

I think it has a lot to do with other's reactions. I was sitting around with my dd and my two nephews, they asked why dd has a teetee - I had no idea what they were talking about (their mom taught them teetee) I thought they meant breasts... anyway, I finally figured it out and said that she's a girl, so she has a "vulva", and they are boys so they have "penises". MIL turned bright red, then dd asked if MIL has a vulva? And I said yes she does - MIL just about passed out!


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelpie545* 
I use "vagina". It's the technical term for the female sexual organs.

Actually, this is not true. Only the part that you might expose dressing or bathing is your vulva or your labia. No one but your lover or the midwife would see your vagina, it's tucked away.

It really chaps me that the correct terminology is not being used with our girls and women of the next generation.


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## staceychev (Mar 5, 2005)

So, did anyone ever see the Seinfeld episode where Jerry couldn't remember the name of the girl he just started seeing and all he could remember was that it rhymed with a part of a woman's anatomy? She confronted him about not remembering her name, and he said, "Of course I do! You're... Mulva?"









Anyway, timely post. I too am freakishly afraid of naming my own body parts. Sigh.


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## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

I guess this is a little bit OT, but I don't understand why there is such a fuss about saying 'vagina' - people keep saying that it doesn't actually describe the entire genitalia, only a part of it, right? But, um, penis? Is that not just a part of the male genitals? What about the testes? Scrotum? What is the word for the 'male external bits?'

Package? That's all I've got. If there's a correct term, I'd love to hear it.

I have never, ever, heard anyone say that 'penis' is not technically the correct term for a boy's privates. And it really doesn't include any more bits than saying 'vagina' does for girls.


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie* 
I guess this is a little bit OT, but I don't understand why there is such a fuss about saying 'vagina' - people keep saying that it doesn't actually describe the entire genitalia, only a part of it, right? But, um, penis? Is that not just a part of the male genitals? What about the testes? Scrotum? What is the word for the 'male external bits?'

Package? That's all I've got. If there's a correct term, I'd love to hear it.

I have never, ever, heard anyone say that 'penis' is not technically the correct term for a boy's privates. And it really doesn't include any more bits than saying 'vagina' does for girls.

But when you say penis, you are actually talking about the penis. But referring to the vulva as the vagina is NOT accurate. For many people, when they say vaginal they mean the vulva. It's like saying mouth to refer to the whole face.

I will never understand the people who brag about using correct terminology, but they aren't. And when they learn otherwise, they just don't care. Its sad.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie* 
I guess this is a little bit OT, but I don't understand why there is such a fuss about saying 'vagina' - people keep saying that it doesn't actually describe the entire genitalia, only a part of it, right? But, um, penis? Is that not just a part of the male genitals? What about the testes? Scrotum? What is the word for the 'male external bits?'

Package? That's all I've got. If there's a correct term, I'd love to hear it.

I have never, ever, heard anyone say that 'penis' is not technically the correct term for a boy's privates. And it really doesn't include any more bits than saying 'vagina' does for girls.

Yes but most people are talking about an actual penis when they say penis. Most people are not talking about the actual vagina when they say vagina.

When I am talking about my son's external genitalia, I say penis and scrotum.


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## onlyboys (Feb 12, 2004)

When I refer to my boys' penises, I am talking about the penis--when I mention the foreskin, I say foreskin, same with glans, etc. I don't think it's too tough to say the correct word.

In much the same way, I refer to my vulva as my vulva, which is the only part of my genitalia my boys have seen. When I talk about babies coming out, I use vagina, which is right, though my children currently don't believe me at all. (I'm a student midwife for pete's sake, I know of which I speak.) They have become convinced that babies come out of fannies.







(We do say fanny, interchangably with "bottom" and "buttocks." We started out with "buttocks" but it became much like a curse word in our house--"BUTTOCKS!" like "bollocks" or something.)


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## DisplacedYooper (Aug 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyboys* 
become convinced that babies come out of fannies.









They'd be right in the UK... although fanny is a bit of a naughty word there.














(Any actual Brits feel free to correct me!)


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## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 

You vagina is the actual canal from the vaginal opening to the cervix, yes? And the labia, clitoris and all those outside parts are the vulva?
Well, crap.







: Now I'm going to have to say labia.

















I learned that not too long ago. Before we called it vagina, but since i leaned this I've been saying vulva. DD (almost 4) prefers to say vagina. If you ask her she'll tell you what each part is correctly but she 'just likes saying vagina'.


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## emcare (Sep 11, 2005)

I was just talking to my sister about this.

We have always used the correct terms--vulva, vagina, labia, anus, etc.--with Anna, and even still, she uses the work vagina ('gina) most of the time when she is really talking about her vulva (wool-wa).

Lately, however, she is really into talking about her "hole". I mean, really, "hole". Come on. So, although I try my best so that she knows the proper names, she will call it what she wants to.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

My son knows all the words that are related to his genitals, and we also talk about all the words associated with female genitals, but if he were to point to my genitals, the proper word to identify it is vulva. I also don't see why someone would knowingly choose vagina when referring to a vulva? I mean, if you don't know, hey, that's okay, but then, now you know, use the right word, okay?


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## Mom2Joseph (May 31, 2006)

My son was ok with all the boy parts...penis, balls, etc. and then we had DD. He asked what it was and I said a Labia. DUH! THen I remembered the outer part was really the Vulva. So, then I had to explain that it was really a Vulva. He started asking my MIL and our baby sitter to "drop your pants and show me your Vulva? Your LABIA?!" Then he would ask them to say it...he would chant it until my MIL would say it...I swear I thought my MIL was going to DIE because she actually said Labia just to get him to stop.









I have no problem saying it, because that's what it is. It catches people off guard, but I tell them I can't figure out why people make up names, when these parts already have names.


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## LotusBirthMama (Jun 25, 2005)

We say vulva and penis...but DS1, who is *nine* for crying out loud, cannot say testicles. He says "intesticles". No matter how many times I correct him...its always gonna be INtesticles!


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

We use penis, scrotum, testicles (and my 3 yo knows that testicles are the things he can feel inside his scrotum), foreskin, perineum, and anus.

Can you tell we have a medical person and a sexuality educator in the family (not the same person!).


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

We use vulva but my 3-year old refers to the whole area as her "bum".


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## dealic (Feb 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jwebbal* 

[snip]
and a sexuality educator in the family (not the same person!).

That's my dream job.


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## kaspar (Nov 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jwebbal* 
We use the word vulva most of the time, because most of the time we are talking about the actual vulva, not the vagina.

i was raised in a vulva household (ha, that sounds funny taken out of context) and it drives me nuts when people say vagina, for this very reason!


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## jackson'smama (May 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *onlyboys* 
They have become convinced that babies come out of fannies.










This reminds me of something my DH confessed during our "body parts labeling" discussion recently...he says that when he was little, he thought women leaned over the toilet chest first and pooped out of their cleavage because it looked "like a butt" to him.

i'll add myself to the list...i'm a nurse and have a difficult time with all "private" body parts labeling including nipples! what the heck? i even knew a sunday school teacher named Mrs Knipple (with a silent K) - just about killed me to say her name! I'm of course not like this on the job as a L&D nurse, but in my home, I'm pathetic. I am proud of using "penis" or at least "penie" with my son, but that's about the extent of it so far. I anticipate him asking me about my parts soon, so i need to buck up, I guess.


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## captivatedlife (Aug 16, 2006)

:

I didn't actually know what the proper terms for a womans genatalia were. I just googled it and memorized the picture.








:

I plan on teaching my daughter the correct terms for her body. DH and I had been using an incorrect term, but I don't thing the damage is lasting- she's 7 mo!


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## siobhang (Oct 23, 2005)

We use vulva and penis, anus, scrotum, etc. My son now has taken to asking all women if they have vulvas, which is a bit disconcerting in the grocery store.

However, the collective term we use for genitals are "bits". Like "we need to keep our bits private." when asked why opening the door of the bathroom when we have guests while I am still peeing is not okay.


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## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

OK, this is slightly off topic here and it's probably none of my business since I'm the mother of 3 boys anyway, but why is do young little girls need to know the word "vagina"? Please no flames, I'm seriously asking.

The vagina is for sexual activity and birthing babies-neither of which little girls will be doing for many years. The perineum is the area that encompasses the entire area "down there"--the vagina, labia, uretheral opening. If you want to teach your dd the correct anatomical term, why not use the word perineum? I mean, most likely if a girl is experiencing discomfort in that area, it isn't her vagina hurting her, right?

I could totally understand if a girl asked where or how a baby came out telling her about the vagina.

My boys call their penises penises, but so far they only know about the urinary function of the penis, not the sexual function.

I'm all for kids using the correct terms for their body parts, but I admit I feel weirded out when I hear small small girls talking about their vaginas this and that.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

I apologize- apparently I was wrong. There seems to be two usages of the word perineum. My biology and midwifery textbooks defined perineum as the area between the anus and vagina.

Why do I teach my daughter vagina and all her parts? (I gave her a mirror and pointed out all the parts) WHy not? I want her to know these things. There is no reason not to. Why does it matter that they aren't having sex or birthing babies. By the time they are, they are going to be too old for me to show them what all their body parts. Why teach them the name for belly button, appendix, ear lobe, or anything else they won't be using?

My sister, cousins, etc have all at an early age asked what this hole was.

I find it weird and sad that it weirds you out to hear girls use anatomically correct name.

I think the fact that many women on this thread don't know all the proper names for their body parts is one good reason to teach our young girls the proper names.


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## lula (Feb 26, 2003)

My dd (age 6) has learned/is learning all of the proper vocab about body parts. Heck, we even show pictures to answer questions.

I think it is important for little girls (and boys also) to know the proper terminology. For one thing occasionally the word "vagina" will come up in a non-sexual context i.e. sand at the beach this past summer somehow made it into my dd vagina. Not fun and still am not sure exactly what happened.

Also, in a sexual abuse case the child who is able to accurately and with proper vocabulary describe what happened is in a better position. Not only will parents, medical personnel, etc be better able to help but the accuser will be more likely to be found guilty.

Additionally the earlier dd learns the terminology the more likely she will be to use proper terminology when she is older and not be "weirded out" by words that are used to describe her own body. There are plenty of circumstances that she will be in where these anatomy words will be necessary for clarity and I don't want her to be hampered by feelings of awkwardness. Case in point: My grandmother who needed my mother to tell the nurses that her catheter was highly uncomfortable because she was too mortified or my own mother who spent several extra dr's visits on a diagnosis because she was not specific in her descriptions. (long story but vocab would have helped)


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## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

Pardon me, and I am not looking to debate the female anatomy, but the perineum encompases the vulva. The perineum is the area (in the female) that extends from the symphysis pubis to the coccyx. I have heard it described as only the area between the vagina and anus, but that simply is incorrect.


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## tiffer23 (Nov 7, 2005)

I think it's important to use proper terms. But DS's has become "pee pee." DH says it's because DS's it too little to be a penis. ha ha ha! But we've been working hard to say penis lately. DS can't say it though, so he does say "pee pee" or it comes out more as "pay pay" lol.

I to find it hard to say vagina and vulva. *sigh* No idea why. DS was pointing at my parts and asking "pee pee?" the other day and I was trying to explain that I didn't have a penis, only boys do. That mommy has a vulva. I do think vulva is easier than vagina. *shrug*


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Well that goes against everything I have learned.

In any case, it doesn't change the point of the rest of my post.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
Why do I teach my daughter vagina and all her parts? (I gave her a mirror and pointed out all the parts) WHy not? I want her to know these things. There is no reason not to. Why does it matter that they aren't having sex or birthing babies. By the time they are, they are going to be too old for me to show them what all their body parts. Why teach them the name for belly button, appendix, ear lobe, or anything else they won't be using?

My sister, cousins, etc have all at an early age asked what this hole was.

I find it weird and sad that it weirds you out to hear girls use anatomically correct name.

I think the fact that many women on this thread don't know all the proper names for their body parts is one good reason to teach our young girls the proper names.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *lula* 
My dd (age 6) has learned/is learning all of the proper vocab about body parts. Heck, we even show pictures to answer questions.

I think it is important for little girls (and boys also) to know the proper terminology. For one thing occasionally the word "vagina" will come up in a non-sexual context i.e. sand at the beach this past summer somehow made it into my dd vagina. Not fun and still am not sure exactly what happened.

Also, in a sexual abuse case the child who is able to accurately and with proper vocabulary describe what happened is in a better position. Not only will parents, medical personnel, etc be better able to help but the accuser will be more likely to be found guilty.

Additionally the earlier dd learns the terminology the more likely she will be to use proper terminology when she is older and not be "weirded out" by words that are used to describe her own body. There are plenty of circumstances that she will be in where these anatomy words will be necessary for clarity and I don't want her to be hampered by feelings of awkwardness.











Additionally, studies and prison interviews have shown that sexual predators are less likely to target children who seem to have open relationships with their parents regarding their body in particular -- Not to suggest there aren't children who are abused who know their proper terminology, just pointing out that beyond the actual *words*, predators assume if a child is free to talk openly about their bodies with their caregivers without shame/pet names/embarrassment they will be much harder to abuse.

I plan on teaching dd all the proper names for every bit







but at 26 months she calls it her *vagina*







I figure that was easiest to pronounce, it is the most common (though not correct!) term used for that part of the anatomy, and because I don't want her to have any shame at all regarding her body. I trust that an organic process of natural modesty and desire for privacy will emerge in its own time without shaming her into it! She knows daddy has a penis and testicles and a scrotum too -- she knows that (and I quote! dd is very verbal) bological males [typically] have penis' and females typically have vaginas (vulvas).

We are a really open family







No shame here!


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 

Why do I teach my daughter vagina and all her parts? (I gave her a mirror and pointed out all the parts) WHy not? I want her to know these things. There is no reason not to. Why does it matter that they aren't having sex or birthing babies. By the time they are, they are going to be too old for me to show them what all their body parts. Why teach them the name for belly button, appendix, ear lobe, or anything else they won't be using?

ITA!!

Quote:

My sister, cousins, etc have all at an early age asked what this hole was.
Yep, mine knows all about this. She figured it out one day and yelled, "Hey mama, come check out this hole in my yoni!!"









I think it is really good to teach them the names for all their bits. I have done so as my child has asked. Mostly she says yoni, but she knows the names for everything.


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *the_lissa* 
I apologize- apparently I was wrong. There seems to be two usages of the word perineum. My biology and midwifery textbooks defined perineum as the area between the anus and vagina.

Why do I teach my daughter vagina and all her parts? (I gave her a mirror and pointed out all the parts) WHy not? I want her to know these things. There is no reason not to. Why does it matter that they aren't having sex or birthing babies. By the time they are, they are going to be too old for me to show them what all their body parts. Why teach them the name for belly button, appendix, ear lobe, or anything else they won't be using?

My sister, cousins, etc have all at an early age asked what this hole was.

I find it weird and sad that it weirds you out to hear girls use anatomically correct name.

I think the fact that many women on this thread don't know all the proper names for their body parts is one good reason to teach our young girls the proper names.


Yes, yes, yes.

I think it is very important for little girls (and little boys) to know the proper names for THEIR anatomy. It is their body, they should know what each part is and does. For me, hearing women not want to teach the proper names, it sounds like shame.... that shame is then passed down to the little girl. "It must be wrong..... that's why I don't know what it is". I don't want to be rude, but why else wouldn't you want a little girl to know her OWN body?


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

PLus I had a baby when my daughter was 2.5 so she learned the reproductive functions of both the male and female genitalia. She was supposed to be at the birth, but just missed it. She did see pictures and video of births.

A sad story- when my grandmother was in labour with her first baby, her mother asked her before she left for the hospital if she would be alright. My grandma said she would be fine, she would go to the hospital, the doctor would open up her belly and take out the baby. So my great grandmother explained how the baby would be born when my grandmother was in labour.

My mother thought urine cam out of the vagina until recently.







:


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

Quote:

OK, this is slightly off topic here and it's probably none of my business since I'm the mother of 3 boys anyway, but why is do young little girls need to know the word "vagina"? Please no flames, I'm seriously asking.

The vagina is for sexual activity and birthing babies-neither of which little girls will be doing for many years. The perineum is the area that encompasses the entire area "down there"--the vagina, labia, uretheral opening. If you want to teach your dd the correct anatomical term, why not use the word perineum? I mean, most likely if a girl is experiencing discomfort in that area, it isn't her vagina hurting her, right?
I don't know why a parent wouldn't talk about sexual activity and birthing babies? And to have a child describe the entire area? If it hurts, I would want to know exactly where it hurts, not the general area. Frankly I am surprised by parents who think that discussing sexuality is something you do when children are much older.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Yeah totally, I don't see what the issue is. My dd doesn't know the particulars of reproduction yet (she is 26 months) but she knows she "grew inside my uterus" not in my belly. She knows it is in the *area* of the belly but not my stomach, that it is a seperate part and that babies come out of vaginas typically (we didn't get into c-sections







)... she knows about menstruation and that it is the lining of the uterus etc (I can't go to the bathroom alone so that was a given)...She doesn't know about sexual intercourse yet because she hasn't asked or I think even made the connection that penis' work with vaginas to reproduce (and to experience pleasure) -- but when she does ask I will be fine about it totally. It is so natural to speak to my daughter in this way, though it isn't because my mom was so open -- she was better than most mamas around that time, but she herself wasn't as educated about it --

I want to stop the cycle of shame!


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## The Lucky One (Oct 31, 2002)

Good arguments.









On a related note, I've got a vagina story that will blow your mind.

I am an RN, although I haven't worked since having kids. Back when I still worked, our unit hired a new grad. To put it mildly, this woman was strange. She was in her 40's and single and just had a very odd personality. What's worse was that she was a terrible nurse. Her skills were awful, her knowledge base was poor, she was (unknowingly perhaps?) rude to patients. She just wasn't with the program and we all hated working with her.

Well, once, I was the charge nurse and she was working on the floor. There was an order written for an enema to be given to one of her patients, who just so happened to be a retired nurse herself. I sent "nurse X" back to give the enema. About 5 minutes later, the call light came on. I went back to answer it and the patient was crying. She told me that instead of getting an enema, she had just received a sodium phosphate (the ingredient in a Fleets' enema) douche!!! Nurse X had given the enema in the vagina!!! I asked the patient if she had said anything to nurse X about being in the wrong spot and she said she did and that nurse X argued with her telling her that "you only have 2 holes down there"!!!

Is that insane or what??????? Actually, nurse X got fired over that whole incident!


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Yikes!


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:

I've got a vagina story that will blow your mind.
That is such a funny statement to me














I can imagine my best friend calling me and that being something she would say out of the blue


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## quelindo (May 11, 2005)

Okay, I have to admit that I didn't really know exactly what a vulva was. I have been teaching my two-year old son that he has a penis and I have a vagina. [email protected] Now I have to correct myself...

Honestly, no one ever taught me anything about my genitals or reproductive organs. It wasn't until I underwent infertility treatments trying to get pregnant with my son that I actually TRULY understood how it all worked.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The Lucky One* 
I asked the patient if she had said anything to nurse X about being in the wrong spot and she said she did and that nurse X argued with her telling her that "you only have 2 holes down there"!!!









Well, there a prime example of how people cave to "authority". For goodness sakes!







If some nurse stuck an enema up my vagina and I knew it was wrong, I would certainly have refused the treatment.







: What in the world?!









On the matter of being ignorant about your body parts. My best friend called me on the phone a couple of years ago and asked me how many "holes she had _down there_?" When I told her, she didn't believe me, and asked to talk to my mom.







BFF was in her mid twenties.








She just had her first baby 3 months ago and she refused to call her vagina anything but her "part".








The midwife kept asking me, "what is she saying?"


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cutie Patootie* 







Well, there a prime example of how people cave to "authority". For goodness sakes!







If some nurse stuck an enema up my vagina and I knew it was wrong, I would certainly have refused the treatment.







: What in the world?!









On the matter of being ignorant about your body parts. My best friend called me on the phone a couple of years ago and asked me how many "holes she had _down there_?" When I told her, she didn't believe me, and asked to talk to my mom.







BFF was in her mid twenties.








She just had her first baby 3 months ago and she refused to call her vagina anything but her "part".








The midwife kept asking me, "what is she saying?"


















Oh my


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *The Lucky One* 
Pardon me, and I am not looking to debate the female anatomy, but the perineum encompases the vulva. The perineum is the area (in the female) that extends from the symphysis pubis to the coccyx. I have heard it described as only the area between the vagina and anus, but that simply is incorrect.

But when my daughter needed to know a name for it, she was pointing to her vulva,specifically. So, why not give her the proper name?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy* 


















Additionally, studies and prison interviews have shown that sexual predators are less likely to target children who seem to have open relationships with their parents regarding their body in particular -- Not to suggest there aren't children who are abused who know their proper terminology, just pointing out that beyond the actual *words*, predators assume if a child is free to talk openly about their bodies with their caregivers without shame/pet names/embarrassment they will be much harder to abuse.

I plan on teaching dd all the proper names for every bit







but at 26 months she calls it her *vagina*







I figure that was easiest to pronounce, it is the most common *(though not correct!)* term used for that part of the anatomy, and because I don't want her to have any shame at all regarding her body. I trust that an organic process of natural modesty and desire for privacy will emerge in its own time without shaming her into it! She knows daddy has a penis and testicles and a scrotum too -- she knows that (and I quote! dd is very verbal) bological males [typically] have penis' and females typically have vaginas (vulvas).

We are a really open family







No shame here!


Bolding mine. Hwy ever would anyone knowingly teach their child an incorrect term? That makes no sense. And I think it IS important to have the right words. It will make it easier for her to communicate with dr.'s when she's older, if she uses the correct terms.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I grew up thinking I had a bagina. Nobody ever corrected me.









I don't have a girl but if DS asks I will tell him it's a vulva.


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## rayo de sol (Sep 28, 2006)

I am all for teaching the correct terms: penis and vulva. I think people say "vagina" instead of "vulva" because in our male-centered society, the vagina is the part of the vulva that seems to interest men the most.







:

By the way, isn't anyone teaching the word "clitoris"? It seems pretty important for people of both sexes to grow up knowing what this is.


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## Jwebbal (May 31, 2004)

See, now maybe I am just reading this wrong, but in our family I don't wait for my son to ask me questions about things, I look for opportunities to bring things up and then we have conversations about it. I think it's important for kids to realize we have an open dialogue between us and them, and I think by talking about this stuff all the time we can show them that.


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## jorismom (May 21, 2005)

When DD was learning about body parts, I told my mother and sister I was going to teach her the right words, including vulva. They were shocked. My mom said it sounds like a dirty word, and my sister said everyone would make fun of her if she called it that. We called our genitals our "bottoms" growing up, which was separate from our butt. That was confusing when other people use the word bottom to mean butt.

I actually caved for a little while after talking to them and did just use the word vagina. But, only for a short time and then my good sense took over and now my daughter does know about her vulva, her vagina, and also because she pointed and asked in the tub, her clitoris. I agree w/ PP who said that clitoris is important for children to grow up knowing as well.

Of course, my sister who hates the word vulva, has no problem w/ her son knowing he has a penis. But he when he was little and saw DD have her diaper changed, he asked his mom if girls only have "long butts" and she said yes. I think that is still what he thinks, years later.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rayo de sol* 
I am all for teaching the correct terms: penis and vulva. I think people say "vagina" instead of "vulva" because in our male-centered society, the vagina is the part of the vulva that seems to interest men the most.







:

By the way, isn't anyone teaching the word "clitoris"? It seems pretty important for people of both sexes to grow up knowing what this is.

We do. My daughter is quite fond of her clitoris.


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## TinyBabyBean (Oct 18, 2003)

We use vulva. Fortunately I have no trouble saying it because it was never said in my house. My mother used the word bootwah or sometimes vagina. But, both always seemed to have a feeling of shame attached to them. Particularly vagina so I have a bit of trouble saying that word. But, vulva is as easy to say as penis and my first four children are girls so I have had many opportunities to say it and get comfortable with the word. I said it from the start whenever talking about their vulva. They also know what the vagina is and a few of the older ones also know what inner and outer labia are called as well as the clitoris(that one was unfortunately harder for me to say to them but I still said it and at least they didn't need to go look it up in a medical dictionary like I did at the age of 13) and that they have a urethra where the pee comes out of so that cleared up it doesn't actually come out of the vaginal canal. However, the anus is still called a butthole around here(even though they know anus and rectum I think they like saying butthole!). We might need to work on that one.


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## TinyBabyBean (Oct 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie* 
I guess this is a little bit OT, but I don't understand why there is such a fuss about saying 'vagina' - people keep saying that it doesn't actually describe the entire genitalia, only a part of it, right? But, um, penis? Is that not just a part of the male genitals? What about the testes? Scrotum? What is the word for the 'male external bits?'

Package? That's all I've got. If there's a correct term, I'd love to hear it.

I have never, ever, heard anyone say that 'penis' is not technically the correct term for a boy's privates. And it really doesn't include any more bits than saying 'vagina' does for girls.

Actually same thing applies. Difference of vulva and vagina. Difference of penis and testicles. My son knows what both of those parts are on him. The part he mainly talks about while potty training, bathing, seeing how his foreskin works etc, is the penis. But, when he does for example get bumped in the testicles or is asking about them we use the correct word for those too.

Thinking of it this way, both are seperate in a sense. The vulva is all outer parts you can see, the penis is all the parts of the actual shaft of the penis you can see. Vagina is pretty much under vulva, testicles are under penis. Make sense?


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## TinyBabyBean (Oct 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captivatedlife* 







:

I didn't actually know what the proper terms for a womans genatalia were. I just googled it and memorized the picture.








:

I plan on teaching my daughter the correct terms for her body. DH and I had been using an incorrect term, but I don't thing the damage is lasting- she's 7 mo!


Actually she is learning the word even now as she is learning every other word you are using when speaking to her. We used the correct terms for every body part from birth on. Are you using incorrect terms for other things you are talking about with her? Hope that makes sense.


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## simplelah (Jun 27, 2007)

we call it a vulva but her father calls it her privates. she has taken to calling it her PIRATE because she can't say privates.

so, my 2 year old refers to hers as her *pirate* (loudly and proudly) despite my best attempts to get her to do otherwise.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *angelcat* 
But when my daughter needed to know a name for it, she was pointing to her vulva,specifically. So, why not give her the proper name?

Bolding mine. Hwy ever would anyone knowingly teach their child an incorrect term? That makes no sense. And I think it IS important to have the right words. It will make it easier for her to communicate with dr.'s when she's older, if she uses the correct terms.


Give me a break geez. If you were to read my post, I openly teach my daughter all her parts -- for now she calls it her vagina -- she is 26 months for goodness sakes. I think much of that has to do with the fact that she has problems saying her "L"s and well, there is a huge L in vuLLLLva --- so for NOW, would I rather she tell me/daddy/doctor (whoever) something about her *vagina* that she can say clearly, than something about her "voova" which sounds like a pet name or a word that doesn't exsist? I can see the interviews (God forbid) if something ever happened to her at this age. "Oh sorry we can't seek prosecution, a "voova" could be anything -- she is just playing pretend" etc... whereas she says VAGINA as clear as day.

Perhaps a little sensitivity or forethought could be put into posting before deciding to be snarky or self superior or tell people what "you" think doesn't make sense. Our family doesn't operate according to what makes sense to you (or anyone else) thank goodness.

Quote:

I plan on teaching dd all the proper names for every bit but at 26 months she calls it her vagina I figure that was easiest to pronounce, it is the most common
Conveniently overlook that part eh? Ah, the joys of the internet


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

We go with vulva. Or "girly bits" when they were babies, because vulva just seemed to grown up, I guess. Which doesn't really make sense, I know.


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## Kay11 (Aug 30, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rayo de sol* 
By the way, isn't anyone teaching the word "clitoris"? It seems pretty important for people of both sexes to grow up knowing what this is.

This is where my self-consciousness is an issue. Dd isn't 2 yet but she's very fond of her clitoris and I do need to sometimes ask her to take her fingers away when we're in company and in public but I just can't bring myself to say clitoris. Everything else I'm fine with, didn't even think twice, but I just can't say the word clitoris to her.

For those who have used the word with their kids, how exactly did you say it in the sentence? That sounds ridiculous I know, but no matter how I say it in my head it just sounds weird saying it to a toddler!


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## naturegirl7 (Jan 27, 2005)

It is vagina/vulva and penis here - private parts collectively. And have tuaght it right along with eyes, ear, nose, knees, toes, etc.

It is funny actually - other family and friends will do the "point to your (fill in the body part)" game with him, and when they don't do it, he gets annoyed and loudly states "pe-na!" and pats his groin.







and then "butt!" and pats his butt - accompanied by this look of "are you so dumb you forget the best parts?!"







Most people are speechless.

Growing up I was taught vagina and penis - so those naturally come out of my mouth. After reading someone's siggy about how "saying vagina when you mean vulva is like saying mouth when you mean face" (who was that - I love it!) - I realized that despite my determination to teach DS the correct terms, I was still not doing it!

I am trying to remember to call it a vulva, since that is more accurate. But vagina is so ingrained in me. And DS is so confused when I say vulva, "no ny-na" with this perplexed look on his face.







And I really don't want to explain to him that the vagina is inside - cuz he is the investigative type! YIKES!


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## katheek77 (Mar 13, 2007)

My grandma used to call penises, I kid you not, "Ding Dongs".

I can't tell you how confused I was when I opened a cabinet at her house and found a box of nice, foil wrapped, Hostess Ding-Dongs.







:


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## Mom4tot (Apr 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katheek77* 
My grandma used to call penises, I kid you not, "Ding Dongs".

I can't tell you how confused I was when I opened a cabinet at her house and found a box of nice, foil wrapped, Hostess Ding-Dongs.







:


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## jorismom (May 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kay11* 
For those who have used the word with their kids, how exactly did you say it in the sentence? That sounds ridiculous I know, but no matter how I say it in my head it just sounds weird saying it to a toddler!

DD, in the bathtub, checking things out: Vis is my vulva!
Me: Yes
DD: What's vis part? (pointing to clitoris)
Me: That's your clitoris.

Hasn't come up much since then. It is the one part that I do have a hard time talking about, like some prior posters, so I don't go out of my way to talk about it. But, she has rattled off a list of body parts to me lately and ut'ris and clit'ris made the list.


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## jennnk (Feb 6, 2005)

I am adamant about teaching Andy the proper names for parts. He knows that he has a penis and a scrotum*, and that Mommy doesn't have a penis, she has a vulva, and that there's a baby inside my tummy and it's going to grow big in my uterus and come out of my vagina.

*Funny scrotum story time:
We were visiting my mom, who is usually very sexually open (much to my chagrin as a teen), and I was showing her that Andy knew a lot of his parts. We got to "penis."
Mom: "Don't call it that!"
Me: "Why not?"
"Because he's too little!"
"That's what it IS, Mom, his PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS."
"STOP THAT!"
"Well, when do you think he'd be old enough to know the right word?"
"I don't know, when he's 5."
Me:








Later that day, during a diaper change.
Me: "Hey Andy, where's your scrotum?"
Andy: *points* "Scrotah!"
Mom: "Oh Jesus."


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)




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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2Sweeties1Angel* 
**Side story** Her pronounciation of some words is so bad that she kept calling her baby sister Saffron "Tampon". We started calling her Saff-rin thinking India would be able to say that so now the baby is "Tappin" or "Tappy"










I just spit chewed up muffin all over my computer desk. Thanks for the laugh!


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## Fiercemama (May 30, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rayo de sol* 
By the way, isn't anyone teaching the word "clitoris"? It seems pretty important for people of both sexes to grow up knowing what this is.

Pardon me, I don't think I quite heard you.... was that *CLITORIS* you said? Yah, I think I had to get through 4 pages here before anyone typed that word.









DD is 5.5 yrs. She has already discovered her favourite body part.







Its beautiful, its a ton of fun, and I'd like my daughter to be able to accurately be able to talk to others when appropriate about what's she's got - both if there's a problem, as well as so she can enjoy some of the best fun life's got to offer!

There was a bit in the Vagina Monologues where they listed many of the euphimisms that women shared for their genitals. Some were sad, some were beautiful, some were funny. My personal favourite came from a six year old: POWER BUNDLE!!!! My daughter may not e giving birth for years and years, maybe never, but I'd love to know NOW that her body is capable of the hugely empowering act of delivering another human being into the world.


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## rharr! (Nov 9, 2005)

I use vulva. Used to use vagina up until a few years ago. I am always correcting people. I only know one person who sticks to vagina, despite the fact it is wrong. She is a hide your head in the sand kind of person about everything though.

I say clit instead of clitoris, but if dd ever asks about it, I will say clitoris. She is five and has never gone beyond vulva and penis. No curiosity or sense of eploration whatsoever.

One of my dc parents was talking about her sons genetailia and used the word 'testes'. I cracked up. I have no idea what it is about testes, but I giggle uncontrolobly when I hear it. Even typing it has set me off. testes


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