# how long did night weaning take you?



## Barbee (Nov 27, 2004)

ok... it's only really been about 5 nights, but i keep reading about moms who got their kids to sleep more after just a few days and my ds still wakes up crying every two hours. we will eventually sleep, right?


----------



## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

To me, it sounds like it's too soon for your DS.









Maybe you could consider giving it another try in a month or two?


----------



## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm just curious how you're going about it? I've heard all kinds of different methods and am always interested in hearing about more to try. Maybe if you try a different arrangement, the sleep time might lengthen?


----------



## momuveight2B (Mar 17, 2006)

Each child took four to five years to nightwean.


----------



## kaspirant (Apr 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *momuveight2B* 
Each child took four to five years to nightwean.

Awww see you stole the thought right out of my head









Honestly though DS is 15 months old. As far as night weaning goes...It'll be the same for me as day weaning...He'll quit when he's ready. I am a full time teacher out side of the home so his night nursing is IMPERATIVE for him at this time because he doesn't nurse while I'm at work *still gets offered BM but not the boob







*

I was thinking oh maybe by the time he's five...but if not /shrug He won't ask for it if he doesn't need it


----------



## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Both of my kids nightweaned in one night. They were ready and when I stopped nursing them at night, they both protested the first night, but not even that much...less than 10 minutes of crying in arms. And that was it. It didn't stop the nightwaking though. Ds continued to wake one time at least a night for a year afterwards. But we just had to say, " It's okay, go back to sleep" and he did, no complaints. And dd sleeps through most night, but if she does wake, for whatever reason, dh just pats her back and she's almost instantly asleep.

Does it feel right? Because if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.


----------



## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

If it's not working after 5 nights, then it sounds to me like your baby isn't ready for nightweaning, or at least you're moving too fast.

I never intentionally nightweaned any of mine. With my girls, I used to offer water before nursing, and it cut the number of night nursings in half, but I never refused to nurse if my child asked.


----------



## Barbee (Nov 27, 2004)

ok... let me rephrase this. if you successfully nightweaned, how long did it take? please don't flame me, but i'm not interested in waiting until he's five. we're exhausted and both of us are cranky and tired all day. the second night, he only woke once, we sang a song, he went back to sleep and was so happy the next day. i know this can work, so.... if you did successfully nightwean, how long did it take?


----------



## Clarinet (Nov 3, 2005)

My daughter is 19 1/2 months old and she just won't take no for an answer right now. She's cut herself down to two, sometimes only once a night.

ETA: Sorry. Apparently cross-posted with you. I have no advice.


----------



## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

Quote:

ok... let me rephrase this. if you successfully nightweaned, how long did it take? please don't flame me, but i'm not interested in waiting until he's five. we're exhausted and both of us are cranky and tired all day. the second night, he only woke once, we sang a song, he went back to sleep and was so happy the next day. i know this can work, so.... if you did successfully nightwean, how long did it take?
Okay, within this context...

My dd was a little over a year when I got pregnant. My night supply vanished about 6 weeks into the pregnancy and dd was still nursing 6-8 times a night (as well as 8-10 times a day). When my night supply tanked dd turned into a very unhappy little girl, waking up every time she tried to nurse and crying for hours. And since nursing at night HURT beyond belief I was pretty unhappy as well. So DH and I decided to nightwean dd as gently as possible so that EVERYONE could get some sleep and be in an overall better place.

Anyway...we used the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers book and a very slow version of the Dr. Gordon approach. This took about three months as we added/adapted/tried out different night weaning ideas. Dh took over the entire night-time parenting routine...he gave dd her bath, got her into jammies, read a story, brushed her teeth, and then brought her downstairs where I nursed her on the couch before he took her (mostly asleep) up to bed (where he continued the routine of holding her hand and singing to her till she was out). We encouraged a "night night" lovie that she could hold while nursing and then cuddle in bed. We coslept during this process (and still do) but we moved around so that dd was sleeping between DH and the wall instead of next to me. We also decided that there would be no nursing in the bedroom....if DD woke up DH would offer her water or a cracker, but if that didn't work I'd take dd downstairs to the couch to nurse. She started asking for water or a cracker when she woke instead of asking to nurse (since there was no milk and nursing involved getting out of a comfy bed and tromping downstairs to a dark and unexciting couch). But she was still waking A LOT...easily 7-8 times a night, and trying to nurse 2-3 of those times. We were all still pretty wiped out and unhappy.

Then, after about three months of these gentle/gradual methods, I got a massive GI infection and slept in the guest room for three days (with a very high fever and almost constant trips to the bathroom...I was starting my second trimester and I lost 8 pounds in three days. It was not good). As a result DH and DD were forced to come to a nighttime arrangement that did not include me. While dd was very upset the first night that I was not available, by the third night she was sleeping 5-6 hours straight through and by the end of that week she no longer asked for me when she woke (either a cuddle of her lovie or Dh, or a sip of water was all she needed to put herself back to sleep).

It's been a few months since then and dd now sleeps "in the middle" of the family bed again and is happy to nurse right before bed and when we all get downstairs in the morning, but she no longer asks to nurse at night and honestly, we're all sleeping better. Obviously night weaning isn't for every family or every breastfeeding mama/child couple...but you CAN nightwean without giving up the family bed, and you CAN continue nursing even if you night wean.

For us, it was the combination of two-three months of gentle/gradual methods followed by a few nights of "cold turkey" that worked. But check out the information on breastfeeding support sites like kellymom (http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html) or check the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers for more gentle nightweaning ideas.

Good luck...


----------



## Julianito (Mar 14, 2006)

OK so I'm gently nightweaning my 21 month old right now. Did the pantley pull off for ten days. It only seemed to heighten his anxiety. So now we are eight days into "Lay your head down on the bed. You can go to sleep on your own." when he wakes...If he does it great, if he gets upset, I offer him a choice num-nums in the chair (he has to walk over on his own steam) or rest your head on the bed and go to sleep like big people. Half the time he chose the chair but now it seems lime too much effort and he is sleeping through.


----------



## maybemom05 (Mar 15, 2004)

My guy is about the same age as yours - although all kids reach points at their own pace - and he was nightweaned in 2 nights. But in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that 1) he was only waking up 1 to 2 times a night, and going immediately back to sleep when we started nightweaning, and 2) we don't cosleep







: . (We tried, I promise, but DS was having none of it! He's happier sleeping in his room)

He knows that when he calls us at night that one of us will come. While we were nightweaning, DH handled the "wake-up calls", and DS took it okay. He does still nurse several times during the day, at bedtime and nap time, and first thing in the morning - which I hope will continue for a long time!

You know what will work for your family. Eventually, you will all get some sleep. good luck to you!


----------



## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

We've been trying to gently night wean for about 5 months now. Not completely night wean, just have ONE 5-6 hour stretch. I need that in order to function and be a decent mommy. We have phases where she does sleep that long, but it seems to only last a week or so, and then she's waking alot again. I try to really follow her, and if she gets TOO upset, I do end up nursing, so maybe that's why? Plus I make exceptions if she's sick or teething, if she seems particularly clingy, or if I am too tired to sit up and look to see how much time has passed!







I just think it takes some kids longer than others? Would you be ok with him sleeping a 5-6 hour stretch and then nursing? Like say from 11-5? So if her goes to bed at 8-9, you could nurse him before you go to bed 10-11, and then try to wait until 5ish to nurse? I did find that if I let her cry (NOT alone, with me there comforting, just not nursing) she would increase her nightwaking, probably from anxiety, so I do nurse her if she gets upset. Most times now though, if she wakes up, I can say "Abby, milkies in the morning, go back to sleep" and she'll roll over and fall back to sleep. Of course she IS still waking up...but I digress. It does get better. I know how hard it is to be soooo tired!


----------



## wallacesmum (Jun 2, 2006)

I read here about a woman that used a strategy that sounded wonderful (variation on walking to the chair). During the night, if the child wanted to nurse he would walk over to a stool that she was sitting on, and he would stay standing to nurse. I guess he got sick of standing pretty fast!


----------



## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

ds1 nightweaned on his own (we did the welcome to bed method of cosleeping...he slept in a p'n'p in our room and when he woke up the first time he came to bed with us) he just started sleeping later and later and soon he was sleeping all night and not nursing at night.

ds2 is not nightweaned...we do the same method of cosleeping. he's up every couple of hours at night to nurse.


----------



## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

DD nightweaned between two and three. She stopped on her own and then,months later, when she wanted to nurse at night, I just cuddled her and she went back to sleep.

I agree that you have to make the choice that works for you. For me, night nursing was easy. She nursed, I slept. But daytime, outings, nursings, those started to be too much. You know--when it takes two hours to go to Trader Joe's because you have to stop and nurse twice. So I cut those. That worked for us.
From what I've heard about nightweaning, you're doing exactly what other mamas have done. I remember one mama saying, when her little one would cry she would sing, also, and say, "You can nurse when the sun comes up."


----------



## Barbee (Nov 27, 2004)

ds is down to nursing just once at night, when he gets into our bed after sleeping in his crib. after that he wakes up only once. we sing a few songs, snuggle and he goes back to sleep... much better!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Barbee* 
ds is down to nursing just once at night, when he gets into our bed after sleeping in his crib. after that he wakes up only once. we sing a few songs, snuggle and he goes back to sleep... much better!!!!!!!!!!

So it took you 8 days? We are on night 4 of the Jay Gordon method after an illness-related regression. He has woken up every 2 hrs (or less) for as long as I can remember. DH and I are so sleep deprived that it's affecting us mentally and physically.









If I could believe that another week or so would have him sleeping on his own for more than 4 hrs...


----------



## aries_mama (Sep 9, 2006)

barbee, Glad that your ds is sleeping better! We used Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan when dd was about 20 months and it did work within about a week. I offered her water, and she now likes to hold her cup, along with her baby doll to fall asleep. We still co-sleep and I just cuddle her and offer water when she wakes and she falls back asleep easily. She has been sick the past couple of weeks and she is back to night nursing, but we'll nightwean again once she is well. My only advice would be to recognize if your ds really does need to nurse at night, like if he is sick or teething or whatever. Good luck!


----------



## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Hi and my heartfelt wish is that your family starts to get the sleep you all need. Nighteaning is such a personal issue and each and every child has different needs. Some are ready at 18 months, others need that connection through the night much longer. I completely understand the frustration.

To everyone:

IMO, when nightweaning is attempted and the baby is getting that upset, it clearly is not the right time for the baby to give up the night comfort. Methods of sleep training are not discussions we host here at MDC. Nightweaning is frequently talked through with the understanding that it is the right time for the child (in the child's best interests)

I would like to give a gentle reminder of the guidelines to this forum:

Quote:

Quote:
Once we become parents it is easy to blame ourselves when our children's behavior seems out of control. The pervasive idea that we should be able to control sleep habits leads us too quickly to call night waking a "sleep disorder" and to wonder what we are doing wrong to cause it. Research gives no indication that anything parents do causes night waking. Babies whose cries are responded to rapidly are not more prone to it. Assuming that there is some method out there to treat sleep "disorders" undermines a parent's confidence. Despite the notion that "healthy, normal" babies sleep through the night, surveys of parents show that most babies do not sleep through the night, at least until all their teeth are in.

While waiting for our children to develop physically and emotionally to the point where they can realistically soothe themsleves to sleep, we need to work on our own development toward tolerance, patience, and acceptance of those aspects of parenting that are beyond our control. What remains in our control is the ability to continue to care for our children even though they are keeping us awake at night; to continue to hold to our own integrity as feeling people.

To embrace a philosophy that takes into account the individual needs of each child is not to ignore the unfortunate reality that we need sleep. We need to nurture ourselves in this process of raising children. The key to tolerance, and the natural passge through the nightwaking years, is to observe, accept, and work with your child's own inner rhythms and timetables, which can lead to the understanding that nurturing your child and nurturing yourself are not mutually exclusive enterprises.

'Natural Family Living' by Peggy O'Mara
Let's please keep this in mind as we offer our wise advice to this mama


----------



## marnie (Jul 13, 2004)

my daughter was a little over 2 when i gave it a real effort - my supply was nearly gone and night nursing was painful for me and frustrating for her - when she'd suck and suck and get nothing for her efforts.

Since she was definitely old enough to clearly understand what i was saying to her, when she would wake i would tell her "i'll give you some water first and then we can nurse." she used a straw cup and i would put the straw right in her mouth. she only complained 2 or 3 times, and i would just remind her "have a little water first. then we'll nurse."

After those initial 2 or 3 times, i'd say the same thing but she wouldn't complain when offered the water - she knew she could nurse afterwards. Then once or twice she fell asleep with the straw in her mouth, then once or twice she would drink the water and then indicate that she wanted to go back to bed instead of nursing. Before long, she'd wake and say "water" and then the waking became less and less frequent.

All told i'd say it took about 2 months of sometimes nursing, sometimes not, but to go from waking every 2 hours to sleeping absolutely through the night.

I should say that we never nursed lying down - my daughter had infant reflux and could not nurse lying down so from early infancy we ALWAYS nursed in a chair. so we would get up, have water, and then she would choose either the chair (nursing) or back to bed. i think had we gone back to bed together and she was in a habit of lying down and nursing, she would have chosen to nurse after water for a lot longer.

so if you're co-sleeping and nursing lying down, i'd say the first step could be to transfer to a different nursing location. I also think that my daughter was really ready - she wasn't getting a lot of milk anyway and was frustrated by waking up and getting nothing to show for it.


----------



## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

We are on our 4th week trying to night wean







:







: He is doing very well for the most part and only nursing once or twice. He just isnt ready to go more than 6 hours yet.


----------



## Barbee (Nov 27, 2004)

my ds isn't ready to go longer than 6 hours either, which is one of the reasons i do nurse him when he gets into bed with us. lastnight, he woke up, snuggled me and went right back to sleep. as soon as the sun was up, he sat up and signed "nurse please" with a very sleepy look on his face. i think he understands although i know he would prefer to nurse all night long, this arrangement has made it easier on the whole family and he does not seem upset about it. i hope i'm doing the right thing.


----------



## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

It sure sounds like you're doing the right thing! You're all getting more sleep and your ds is well rested. Don't beat yourself up over making a decision that meant saving your sanity and making your life with your baby better for you both.

I might get in trouble here, but I think this whole issue is one that is unique for every family. Yes, we put the child's needs way up there at the top of the list, but a sane mommy is a good thing for a child. We shouldn't feel badly about that.

Good for you!!


----------



## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

ds1- one night which included about 5 minutes of crying next to me in my bed. he was 18 months-he seemed ready. i had to wean him for medical reasons. we did sleep better after that but i want this to baby nightwean himself.


----------

