# How to get my toddler to stop saying shut up?



## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

So DH and I have a bad habit of yelling at our dog to "shut up", i know i know, we shouldn't yell at the dog t begin with, but she has a serious barking problem and we are at out wits ends.......anyways DD has decided that that is her new phrase, she says it all day long. Usually she says "Shut Up!, no no we don't say that word, we say be quite please." But some times she just says shut up over and over and over again.

I have tried talking to her about it, I have tried ignoring it (which made it much worse) and even made her go in into "time out". I just don't know what to do to get her to stop. DH said that last night when he put her in bed, she was saying shut up over and over and over again for about 20 minutes.......

Any tips? Is it just a phase?


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## deditus (Feb 22, 2006)

Ignore it, do not say it again, and don't let her hear anyone else say it. It may take a few weeks, but she will forget (says the mom who heard her toddler spouting "dammit" for 3 weeks, complete with exasperated sigh).


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

LOL! well i do have to admit, that i am a bit relieved that she picked shut up to repeatedly say over and over again. Believe me it could have been much worse! LOL!

We have been ignoring it for the last 2 days and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. Not an hour goes by without her saying it. Do you think its a "gets allot worse right before it gets better" kinda situation?


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## rabbitmum (Jan 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyblackdot* 
We have been ignoring it for the last 2 days and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. Not an hour goes by without her saying it. Do you think its a "gets alot worse right before it gets better" kinda situation?

It could very well be, as she could be trying for a reaction. When she gets none, and has tried for a sufficient amount of time to ascertain that there won't be one, she will eventually lose interest and stop. But you must stop saying it yourself, too.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

I have no advice. I have the toddler who says shut up and dammit. So far, nothing's working here.


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## MrsAprilMay (Jul 7, 2007)

With DD we offered an equally fun replacement when she was trotting around spouting "Oh S***!" that she picked up from the ILs. We started saying "Oh Bother!" instead. We made it really fun and made a game out of it. Like I would drop something on purpose and then stamp my foot and say "Oh Bother!" and she would repeat. Now if anyone around her slips a swear she'll say "You don't tell me ____. You tell me Bother!"







She's a swear sheriff!


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I am afraid to say that with kids that age, once they learn a word that has power, they will say it over and over again until they are good and sure the power is gone. Two days isn't long enough. Keep ignoring it.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

the trick is you have to train all the adults in your life to not react. (Which is impossible here when my 6 yr old says "shi*!") My dh looses it. I just dont care and dont react. (Except talking to him about it during times when I am not actually mad about it.)

And strangers in public also,


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## mommabear207 (Nov 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tinyblackdot* 
So DH and I have a bad habit of yelling at our dog to "shut up", i know i know, we shouldn't yell at the dog t begin with, but she has a serious barking problem and we are at out wits ends.......anyways DD has decided that that is her new phrase

OMG this could have been my post a few weeks ago about ds!
DS mostly said shut! (again and again) when the dog starts barking so we've switched to shush! and be quiet. maybe because shush is close enough to shut up or just because its what he's heard us use for a few weeks straight now-he's switched. i didn't say anything about shut up cause i didn't want him to pick up that it got a reaction out of me. but i think if you stop saying shut up and ignore her saying it you won't hear it any more after a few weeks. this also motivated me to change a few other things that i'd rather not have ds start as its so much easier to prevent than correct. now if i can only get dh to check what he says more- i think i would die if DS started repeating those in public! of course its hard to when you're at your wits end or just whacked your finger with the hammer


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## tinyblackdot (Aug 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rabbitmum* 
It could very well be, as she could be trying for a reaction. When she gets none, and has tried for a sufficient amount of time to ascertain that there won't be one, she will eventually lose interest and stop. But you must stop saying it yourself, too.










Oh yes that phrase, as well as any other negative phrase is gone!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommabear207* 
OMG this could have been my post a few weeks ago about ds!
DS mostly said shut! (again and again) *when the dog starts barking so we've switched to shush!* and be quiet. maybe because shush is close enough to shut up or just because its what he's heard us use for a few weeks straight now-he's switched. i didn't say anything about shut up cause i didn't want him to pick up that it got a reaction out of me. but i think if you stop saying shut up and ignore her saying it you won't hear it any more after a few weeks. this also motivated me to change a few other things that i'd rather not have ds start as its so much easier to prevent than correct. now if i can only get dh to check what he says more- i think i would die if DS started repeating those in public! of course its hard to when you're at your wits end or just whacked your finger with the hammer









Yeah we have switched to Hush, and Be quite please, and she will always correct herself, and say "no no, we don't say shut up we say hush." And now as far as talking to the dog goes, she just says "Penny be quite please!" but she is saying shut up when she gets really aggravated, like last night when DH and i tried to put her to bed!

Ok, well i am going to just ignore it for the next week or so, thanks for the help and advice!


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## webjefita (Aug 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *emgremore* 
Ignore it, do not say it again, and don't let her hear anyone else say it. It may take a few weeks, but she will forget (says the mom who heard her toddler spouting "dammit" for 3 weeks, complete with exasperated sigh).

This. It's a phase. I wouldn't completely ignore it if she says it to another person (you,etc.) I would say, "Don't say that, it's not nice." and then move on. But if she's saying it over and over, I would mostly ignore it, except if I had to say, "That's bothering me and I don't like that word."


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## Sasharna (Nov 19, 2008)

We had this problem for a short time. There were also a couple other words he came home from preschool with, that we didn't like (we'd prefer him to say "police officer" rather than "cop", for instance).

At first I freaked out and said "Don't ever say that!" (Go me.







) That obviously didn't work.

What did work with my DS was staying calm and giving him a substitute phrase. So if he said "Shut up" to the cat, my response was "Oh, you mean 'Quiet, please.'" He is very interested in learning the correct/precise terms for everything (it is completely unacceptable to him if someone says "car" when they mean "SUV"







) so this went over well.


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