# impulsive and extemely silly behavior in 5 yr old?



## jm+3

My 5 year old daughter has been showing some new behavior lately that I'm not sure how to deal with, and maybe it's a normal 5 yr old phase.
Sometimes she gets really hyper and runs around yelling loudly, throwing things and being silly and it can get to the point that she doesn't control her body or her actions. The other day she bit our dogs ear. Tonight I had to ask her probably 6 or so times to settle down and help me clean up and she would not stop acting silly and wouldn't listen. I've tried stopping her body and looking at her in the eye and asking her to control her body but most of the time she can't stop giggling and doesn't pay attention to what I'm saying. Or she'll say "okay, I'll listen" and then goes right back to what she was doing. This behavior has hurt her brother (she never intentionally hurt her brother) and our animals(she gets very rough with our dog and cat).

She is in preschool, has started girl scouts, and will be in kindergarten next year. This type of behavior is going to set her up for trouble with her teachers and peers. It starts up around dinner time (around 4-5 pm) every night and goes until we are in bed reading. It's been for a few months. She isn't allowed to have a sugary snack/juice past lunchtime so it's not a sugar rush. She gets plenty of sleep, from about 7:30pm till 7:30am.

Consequences aren't helping, neither are time outs. I'm at a loss...she is having fun and being silly and that's fine...but it gets out of control and when it does, she can't seem to slow down. Any advice??? Or anyone experience something similar??? thanks!!


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## jm+3

I think I may have posted this in the wrong place. I don't know if what I'm looking for is a gentle discipline. I would like to post this in the parenting forum. If need be, this thread can be deleted.


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## jm+3

My 5 year old daughter has been showing some new behavior lately that I'm not sure how to deal with, and maybe it's a normal 5 yr old phase.
Sometimes she gets really hyper and runs around yelling loudly, throwing things and being silly and it can get to the point that she doesn't control her body or her actions. The other day she bit our dogs ear. Tonight I had to ask her probably 6 or so times to settle down and help me clean up and she would not stop acting silly and wouldn't listen. I've tried stopping her body and looking at her in the eye and asking her to control her body but most of the time she can't stop giggling and doesn't pay attention to what I'm saying. Or she'll say "okay, I'll listen" and then goes right back to what she was doing. This behavior has hurt her brother (she never intentionally hurt her brother) and our animals(she gets very rough with our dog and cat).

She is in preschool, has started girl scouts, and will be in kindergarten next year. This type of behavior is going to set her up for trouble with her teachers and peers. It starts up around dinner time (around 4-5 pm) every night and goes until we are in bed reading. It's been for a few months. She isn't allowed to have a sugary snack/juice past lunchtime so it's not a sugar rush. She gets plenty of sleep, from about 7:30pm till 7:30am.

Consequences aren't helping, neither are time outs. I'm at a loss...she is having fun and being silly and that's fine...but it gets out of control and when it does, she can't seem to slow down. Any advice??? Or anyone experience something similar??? thanks!!


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## bremen

this may sound like an odd suggestion, but what about a really long bath?
i used to nanny a 6 yr old girl, and she was this same way at this same time of day. i would throw her in the bath, and give her tons of cups and toys, and let her stay in there an hour or more.
we had the advantage of a huge bathroom, so i could fold laundry while she was in there, or do other household tasks.
it was a great way for her to get her silliness out, and a great way for me to make sure she is one spot!


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## lily sophia's mom

my five year old, who is in kindergarten this year, gets REALLY silly when she's tired. like she's subconsciously proving how not-tired she is. do you think she needs a rest early in the day?

in our home, sometimes this ends up turning into outright disrespectful behavior...so if she needs to settle down or doesn't do something i've asked of her, she then tries to run away or laugh when she is in trouble. this is exasperating, because then i find myself reacting to what is in effect misbehavior, rather than to the fact that she just can't seem to calm down or control herself.

seriously, if i look back on it, 9/10 times she's just exhausted. a good proof is that sometimes, even if it's been 5:30 or 6:00, i've gone in to laid down with her (if i can get her to snuggle and not jump on the bed







), she's passed out in about 15 minutes. her normal bedtime is 7:30, so 2 hours early & falling asleep tells me she's just overtired. my concern is that she's doing these things because she's too wound up/tired, but then she'll learn some really bad habits (e.g., laughing at an adult when they're trying to help you get some discipline, give a direction, etc.). it looks like misbehavior, but kind of reminds me of a bully, which she definitely is not....so i don't want her getting those behaviors to be a habit.

i don't have any suggestions, but i have had it happen in my home too, if that helps. and we too avoid sugary snacks, etc.

i'm rambling, so i think i'm over-tired right now too







). good luck to you. i hope you'll post back..
gina


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## jm+3

I've thought about her being over tired too. She hasn't napped in 2 years and simply refuses to. There is nap time at pre-school but she has never fallen asleep during it. I'm also wondering if it could be the opposite and she has TOO MUCH energy. She plays outside in the snow (we are in New England) for short times during the day but she's not burning off any where near the same amount of energy as she would in the warmer months. I wish there was a way to deal with the impulsive behavior when she is like that. The hyperness almost always leads to that. And she is always accompanied by her little brother who thoroughly enjoys running around and laughing with her. That part is great. But then it goes to far...and she just can't slow down. I don't want her brother picking up that part of her silliness.


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## lily sophia's mom

you know, last year a friend of mine introduced me to 'my still quiet place' or something like that.....a meditation series for children by amy saltzman. i'd forgotten about it, but i tried it with lily (she was only 4) and she completely got into it. it was great for centering, calming. i wonder if something like that would work if your daugher is indeed just moving too fast & needs help. i may bring it back into our home, now that i think of it...

i know about the weather...we live in northern japan, and have been covered wtih snow for a solid month at least. she still gets out, but i know she'd be better with more outside time...the problem isn't just the cold, which we can deal with, but with the reduced light outside that both you & i have, that limits the hours available. ...

good luck! please let me know if you come up with something that works for you & i'll try it too..
g


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## ~Boudicca~

Subbing.

My 5 y/o is the same way and she makes me


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## jm+3

she has a bath every other night and bath time is kinda crazy. she takes a bath with her little brother and they get pretty silly in there. but AFTER the bath...oh man, it starts her up even more. like she just recharged her batteries!


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## meemee

is she getting enough play time? meaning physical exercise. running around (being in school is not the same as enough physical exercise).

my dd gets like that if she doesnt get enough exercise. and yeah 5 is an age they do it and not so much at 6.

the key is to not get the behaviour out of hand. there are some huge changes happening in every area of their growth - emotional, physical, cognitive and they need an outlet.

at 5 my dd's behav was the worst ever. but there were contributing factors. starting school (this is HUGE) and hating it, watching her gparents get sicker, not enough time with mom. since it is just the two of us it was easy for me to let her be and vent it all out. i didnt really discipline her because i knew she had to find some way to let it out.

i found physical exercise of running and jumping and climbing was a great way to 'let it all out', vent, without hurting or upsetting anyone.


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## jm+3

"you know, last year a friend of mine introduced me to 'my still quiet place' or something like that.....a meditation series for children by amy saltzman."

WOW!!!! that is an amazing idea! THANK YOU so much for that suggestion!







really, i'm very excited to try that! it sounds perfect. i think that would be great to do with my kids even if it wasn't for the crazy silly behavior she has at night.


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## simplymother

I've been wanting to read up on 5-year-old's lately because I feel like there is a lot written for the toddler set, but then we're kind of left on our own once they get school aged and I don't know what's normal.

But I'm thinking SILLINESS IS NORMAL for five-year-olds! Because that's exactly what I was wondering about with mine! Sometimes she is so silly, I don't even know how to respond to her.

I agree that it sounds like she just has a lot of energy and these cold winter months can be really hard for kids--being cooped up inside so much. We are lucky that where we live it isn't cold every day and the days they get to spend playing out in the backyard for long periods of time are the best.

I wonder if you could notice when she is like that and actually join in with her in such a way that you can add a little bit of structure to the play, so it isn't so all-over-the-place and out of control, instead of just trying to tell her from a distance to calm down or whatever. (That advice is for myself, because it really rarely works when I just issue some kind of directive like "settle down".)

If she is that out of control, she would probably welcome some non-invasive help from you, sort of softly directing her to safe expression, kwim?

That can be hard because I bet the times when she's like that are times when you're busy getting dinner ready or getting things ready for bedtime or something--which, if you're really distracted, might also be a contributing factor. If you know the general time when this starts, maybe you could plan some "down time with mom" or even some "play time with mom" for like 15 minutes right around the time that would normally begin?

And it would probably help if she has a plan for what she was going to do NEXT, after you're done playing and moved on to things you need to do--if she has an activity she's excited to be involved in, like coloring or reading or painting or playing house or dancing or working on puzzles or whatever she likes to do.

Sometimes it seems my daughter acts like this when she's sort of in between activities, and doesn't quite know what to do with herself. Sometimes I will just ask her, "Hey there, what are you going to do next?" and she never knows, but usually within a few minutes she finds something, and once she's involved in a game of her own invention, so there's SOME structure, she's a lot calmer.

HTH!


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