# would you have opposite sex sibs co-sleep together?



## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

someone posted about siblings sleeping together when they're older and i LOVE that idea! i have a DS right now and am expecting #2, but I don't know yet if it's a DD or another DS. So...if I have DD, is this option out? I mean, I know that when my parents were on a date or something, my brother and I always slept in the same bed and it never had any weird connotations to it. We both loved it, in fact. We'd slept in the same room all our lives (until he was about 12 and i was about 10), so it wasn't too odd to be in the same bed...but I wonder if there are any downsides to doing this as a long-term idea?

thoughts?


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

My kids are DD8 and DS5 and they still co-sleep. They have their own rooms and beds, but one is NEVER slept in. They both hate sleeping alone. They are starting to complain about lack of room though, so we're installing a trundle (bed that pulls out from under the other bed).

-Heather


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## bri276 (Mar 24, 2005)

sure. until up around 9 or 10. the only real downside I can see is someone very mainstream finding out and freaking out about it.


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## RosieTook (Sep 4, 2004)

I think it's fine. We plan for our kids to co-sleep after they are out of our bed, no matter what sex they are!


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

I think it's fine. They are CHILDREN. Now maybe if this extends into their 40s you'll have to re-evaluate.









Jen


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## wende (Oct 4, 2003)

My babies sleep with me and the older kids have their own rooms. My 6yo ds has a bunk bed. Where does my 10yo dd sleep? In the same bed at my 6yo. Occasionally she sleeps in her own room. Occasionally he'll sleep on a different bunk. Generally they are in the same bed (well, at least until my ds crawls off and onto the floor







)

I have no problem with it. They are kids. After I quit co-sleeping my ds, he immediately started co-sleeping his big sisters. The 13yo is, well, 13 so co-sleeping her isn't an option anymore, but the 10yo is still open to it and they are very close. I think it's sweet that they still co-sleep, personally.

The one thing that I would suggest is if you do have opposite sex children that they have seperate bedrooms past the age of 2 or so. That way, if anyone mainstream asks, you can say "yes, they have their own rooms" and leave it at that. I think that by law they are supposed to sleep in, or at least have, seperate bedrooms past a certain age if they are not same sex children.


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

My youngest (before the baby and now she's 11!) used to sleep with her brother all the time until she was .. 7 or so i think. She always wanted to climb in bed with her sister, but her sister is one of those "likes to sleep alone" people. She demanded to be put in a crib at about age 2. No more co-sleeping for her! Anyway, so she slept with her older brother instead.

They don't do it anymore, so i think they just grew out of it on their own.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

My brother and I co-slept on an occasional basis until I was about 9. We only had air conditioning in one room, and our house was roasting in the summer, so it made sense for us to sleep together.

We only stopped when I was 9 because I got teased about it by my older cousin, and I was embarassed so I stopped. But while children are young, I don't see any harm in it at all. In fact, I think it's a nice idea.


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## IncaMama (Jun 23, 2004)

i ran it by DH who's more mainstream than I am about most things, and he loved the idea...yay!







so...it looks like this will be part of our sleeping plan.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

My Ds and Dd slept in the same bed or at least room for a very long time as younger children


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wende*
My babies sleep with me and the older kids have their own rooms. My 6yo ds has a bunk bed. Where does my 10yo dd sleep? In the same bed at my 6yo. Occasionally she sleeps in her own room. Occasionally he'll sleep on a different bunk. Generally they are in the same bed (well, at least until my ds crawls off and onto the floor







)

I have no problem with it. They are kids. After I quit co-sleeping my ds, he immediately started co-sleeping his big sisters. The 13yo is, well, 13 so co-sleeping her isn't an option anymore, but the 10yo is still open to it and they are very close. I think it's sweet that they still co-sleep, personally.

The one thing that I would suggest is if you do have opposite sex children that they have seperate bedrooms past the age of 2 or so. That way, if anyone mainstream asks, you can say "yes, they have their own rooms" and leave it at that. I think that by law they are supposed to sleep in, or at least have, seperate bedrooms past a certain age if they are not same sex children.


nope, no laws, unless you run a foster home, in which case (depending on the state you're in) they can share a room until they are 5


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I think your kids can let you know if/when they get uncomfortable co-sleeping with a sibling.


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## apmammaof2 (Jul 12, 2004)

DEFINATLEY!
I know we plan to with DD and DS
I think it will make transition from our bed easier, and besides everyone loves a warm body to snuggle up to!


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I definitly plan to let my kids co-sleep when they transition out of our bed. I also think age doesn't matter as long as BOTH kids feel comfortable, once one starts feeling uncomfortable it should stop. I also agree that both kids should have their own bed so they don't feel obligatied. As far as their own rooms go, I would give them seperate rooms if you can. The way our house currently is we only have two bed rooms. One will be DSs and if we are still living here when DC#2 is older they will have to share the same bedroom space.

The base we are stationed at has a 'policy' when it comes to what size home you are suppose to have. As long as the children are 5 years or less apart, then can share a room reguardless of sex until they are 10 (I think). If they are more than 5 years apart they have to be the same sex. But only two kids per room.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

I have mixed feelings on this, I have to admit.

In theory I have no problem with it, they _are_ children after all, and siblings and in most circumstances I am sure everything would be totally fine and innocent etc...

However, it gets kind of sketchy for me when I have seen several posts on here about opposite sex children *experimenting*...which, also in theory is perfectly normal at certain ages...I just don't know as I would want an environment (like co-sleeping) where it might facilitate a situation where experimenting would be a *bit* too easy...

...because truthfully, touching in that context can and often feels good and up until a certain age, children don't know it is not appropriate and not something you do with your sibling...however, it is not something I would be at all comfortable with...

So in conclusion, I don't know how I feel. Again, in theory, I don't believe it is a bad thing---and I am not saying little children are some weirdo sex crazed maniacs and that anything inappropriate _would_ go on...I have just seen too many posts on here and have had discussions IRL where there has been *innocent* experimentation....that I imagine might get a bit too complicated if opposite sex children were sharing a bed...

I dunno, I hope this post comes across the way it was intended and that I don't get all flamed...


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *captain crunchy*
I have seen several posts on here about opposite sex children *experimenting*...which, also in theory is perfectly normal at certain ages...I just don't know as I would want an environment (like co-sleeping) where it might facilitate a situation where experimenting would be a *bit* too easy...


I honestly don't see how opposite sex children are going to "experiment" any more or less than same sex children. We're talking children, and siblings- unless one of them has been sexually abused, it's all going to be innocent.

Besides, if they really wanted to "experiment" I don't see how separate sleeping spaces would prevent it.


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## captain crunchy (Mar 29, 2005)

Well, I can't post too much about it because referring to specific people's posts breaks the user agreement, but it has been posted about pretty frequently here...
with children who to my knowledge were NOT sexually abused.

ETA: I am also not specifically talking about experimenting together either...I wouldn't be comfortable with separate experimentation...

I am not tlaking about very young children persay, but I know I was actively masturbating (just didn't know what to call it or what it was exactly) at around 8-9....as was my nephew (we um, *caught* him unexpectedly once)...and I wouldn't necessarily dig that if they were sleeping in the same bed...

Just my opinion...


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