# My childhood experience with kids who were spanked



## trolley (Apr 12, 2005)

I thought of this a few days ago, and I thought I'd post my experiences as a child to give a child's perspective to some of the moms who are worried about their children being around parents who spank their kids.

My parents became friends with a couple who spanked, which is a nice way of saying they hit their kids. I never witnessed it, but one time at a park we saw the father and son come out from behind the bathrooms. The son was crying and was obviously hurt. His mother said he "smarted off" to her, so the father had to "teach him a lesson". A few months later, my parents took me to the couples' house to play with their kids. In the daughter's room, I sprayed perfume, and one of the sons told me they are spanked for doing so. He said he was going to tell his father what I did. Mamas, I can't tell you the fear I felt. I nearly threw up, thinking this beast of a man was coming upstairs to hit me like he hit his children.

So the moral of my story is: kids pick up on these things. Whether one child tells another, or they see the pain in his or her eyes. I know it's hard to stand up to friends, but I know I will never let my children be subjected to that. I would never allow my kids to fear for their safety. If I know a friend spanks, my kids don't play at their house, and are never left alone to wonder if they're getting spanked next.


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

You are making me feel soooooo much better for "breaking up" with a friend because she and dh spank.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Great post, thank you for sharing!

It breaks my heart to think of my child in that kind of situation.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

My parents were spankers, they liked to use objects like belts, wooden spoons, etc. My mother's best friend and her husband did not spank. One time me, my brother, my mother, her best friend and her two kids all went to the beach. My mother was driving. Her best friend's son was goofing off in the back and my mother asked him to stop. He didn't. She told him if he didn't stop she was going to pull over and spank him. He didn't stop. She pulled over, took off her Dr. Scholl's shoe and spanked him. She spanked him so hard her shoe broke in half!! (Do you know how solid those things are??) To this day he hates my mother. What I never got over was why didn't his mother do anything about it???

Just thought I'd share.

Kitty


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## mommyofshmoo (Oct 25, 2004)

A friend of mine's dh spanked his kid recently (I don't know if they'll make a habit out of it, but it didn't sound like they had serious regrets.)

This is reminding me to feel good about not leaving my dd at their house- as they sometimes suggest they do.

My friend's dad once threatened to spank me and it scared the heck out of me. I was very nauseated. The freaky ting was he threatebed to spank me for not wanting to eat dinner. Geez.

I keep my kid close. I don't really trust anyone who thinks spanking or other mean punishments are OK with my kid.


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## momea (Nov 22, 2001)

Thanks!

Eve


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## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

I was spanked as a kid. A lot. Though never in front of others. I think that is even more humiliating.

Thanks for posting your experiences. I recently left a playgroup because a couple of the mamas were spanking their preschoolers while at the group. How to explain that to my two year old? Thanks for reinforcing my feelings on that one.


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

I grew up around a lot of people who spanked. I didn't realize how lucky I was until I read this thread. There are three instances I can think of where a non-parent used physical punishment.

When I was 4, I pulled down a baby banana tree in front of the newly landscaped temple. A priest came out and hollered at me and so I hollered back at him. He got pissed and smacked me. My nose started bleeding and freaked him out. My nose used to bleed easily back then. Hahahahahaha. He panicked and ran me back to my mom with blood dripping everywhere. Freak. He also got a good telling off from my mother.

When I was 10, our neighbor got pissed because me and my friends were making tons of noise and she was trying to nap. We lived in an apartment. It wasn't my fault. This boy from across the street was in love with my best friend and chasing her everywhere. I kept trying to get rid of him. I finally did and the neighbor lady came over and started yelling at me about the noise. I told her she was a "a day late and a dollar short" because the noise had stopped 5 minutes ago. She was furious and ran at me with her hand out. She wanted to slap me. I laughed at her but she chased me. I ran around my dining room table with her following me and ran out my front door. She followed me out but I ran back in and slammed my door shut in her face. I told my mom and she got a good talking to and was asked to apologize to me. Which she did.

I was 12 and had not been listening to my teacher int he temple room. I was in boarding school. She pulled me into the shoe room to lecture me and I stared out the window and didn't listen. Suddenly she backhanded me across the face. Her ring caught me on the forehead and it hurt so bad! So I grabbed her wrist and kicked her in the crotch and ran away. I was sent home from school for a week and everyone congratulated me for standing up for myself.

My mom spanked me once for stealing candy from the temple but she only tapped my butt. I was freaked out though. I was 6 and thought it was going to hurt. Then I was pissed because I had all that fear of being hurt and build up and she just pretended to spank me.


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## Thursday Girl (Mar 26, 2004)

i don't really know what it's like from the other persepctive. I used to get spanked (and kicked) It did suck when it happened in front of my friends. Embarrissing. But there dad did that to them in front of us as well.

let me say though that my mom put a restaring order on my father and divorced him b/c he was doing this stuff to us. ( she was going to leave anywas b/c she's a lesbian, but she was waiting until we graduated HS. We weren't even in HS yet) Way to go MOm!!! She rocks by the way.

Courtney


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## mamasarah (May 28, 2002)

just a thought...

i don't think it's safe to assume that a parent who spanks their kid would spank your kid. i know people who spank and i trust they would not do that to my dd. my mom was a spanker but she was also very kind and would never, ever have done that to one of my friends! i understand where you all are coming from but i just think it depends on the person/parent whether you can trust them or not.


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## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

Oh yeah, I wouldn't at all assume that someone else would spank my child, I would assume they WOULDN"T and be shocked if they did.

My parents don't regret spanking my siblings and me, but they know that we are not raising our own children that way and would never spank anyone else's children. They have always believed it is only the parents' place to discipline, and no one elses, and that any reprimanding or even a good talking to should be done in private. They would have been horrified if any one else had even threatened to spank me.

My viewpoint was just that I don't want to SEE it when I take ds to play with other kids, and I don't want my son to see it, at least not at this tender age.


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## trolley (Apr 12, 2005)

Thanks SC, that's what I was trying to say. I assume no one would spank my child without permission (which I wouldn't give), but I'm just saying that seeing (or hearing, or just seeing the aftermath of) another child get hit may be enough to really scare your child. They may not know that they're not going to get hit by the person, especially if you're not there to tell them that. I really think it's best to keep kids as far away from violence as possible.


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