# 2 year old wont stop tugging on it!



## corbysmom (Jul 5, 2012)

my 2 year old son is intact and as I have never had problems pulling back the foreskin, the head of his penis is reddish purple and tight like the way your finger looks if you put a rubber band on it too long. Its pretty much always looked like that and none of the doctors were alarmed, recently though he won't let me touch it to look and he won't keep a diaper on because he is constanlty pulling at the skin, he walking around with a hard on all day. i just want to know if the redness and tight look are normal.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

I think you're saying you've been retracting him & his glans (the internal part of the penis) is reddish & purple? Well, yes, that is the color it's supposed to be. Why are you retracting him though? The only person who should retract an intact penis is the person who owns the intact penis. In other words, only your son should be retracting his penis. Problems can be & are often caused by someone else retracting an intact penis, for any reason. It doesn't sound like you are doing it to be malicious, but you can hurt him. Please stop. He probably won't let you touch it because you have been & he intuitively knows that you shouldn't be & because he's getting older & able to express his opinions better, he's started stopping you. ;-)

You can read more about what to do/not do w/ an intact penis in some of the threads in the resources area: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1050900/tcac-forum-resources-parenting-information-commonly-asked-questions-and-web-resources

And, how to care for a normal penis is here too: http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/resources/foreskin-care-guide/

Again, please stop retracting him. ANd, I hope you stick around!

Best wishes,

Sus


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

to everything pp said.


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## corbysmom (Jul 5, 2012)

no thats not what I'm saying. I saw the head of his penis because he has been walking around pulling on it and pulling back the foreskin, when I saw that it was red, I pulled it back to look at it, the same way he doctor has to make sure it's clean.(there is no resistance, I would never pull further than it would go) besides my doctor told me to pull down the foreskin as much as it would go to make sure everything looked ok and it was clean. anyway I don't think the actual head of his penis should be that red and tight looking so I just wanted to know what the head of an intact 2 year old's penis should look like.


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## mama24-7 (Aug 11, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *corbysmom*
> 
> no thats not what I'm saying. I saw the head of his penis because he has been walking around pulling on it and pulling back the foreskin, when I saw that it was red, I pulled it back to look at it,


Thanks for clarifying. Any time someone pulls the foreskin back, it's retraction. Even if the foreskin is no longer fused to the glans (the part you are seeing & saying is red), it's still retraction. The penis owner can retract it, you can retract it, a doctor can retract it...it's all retraction. It sounds like you were worried after seeing what it looked like & then you retracted it to get a better look. I think, from what you describe, my youngest ds' penis looks the same - reddish, purplish & pulled a bit when he retracts his foreskin. But honestly, I try not to look too much because it's genitals & I'm not comfortable staring.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *corbysmom*
> 
> the same way he doctor has to make sure it's clean.


This is no more necessary on a boy than it would be to "check" between the lips of a young girls genitals to make sure she's clean. Please read the information I linked to on caring for an intact penis. You really only need to wash it like a finger, from base to tip & there is no need to check that it's clean any more than there's reason to check that under his eye lids are clean. The penis is self cleaning. Urine is sterile; every time he pees, it gets cleaned.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *corbysmom*
> (there is no resistance, I would never pull further than it would go)


It really does sound like you aren't trying to hurt your son. I'm glad that he's retractable & you aren't forcing it. Problem is that since the body part manipulating isn't yours so while you may think you're not taking it too far, you won't know that it has been taken too far until he's hurting from it. Same with the doctor.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *corbysmom*
> besides my doctor told me to pull down the foreskin as much as it would go to make sure everything looked ok and it was clean.


Just like you, I think your son's doctor means well but he doesn't know about normal penises. If s/he did, then they'd know that they're self cleaning.

Quote:



> Originally Posted by *corbysmom*
> anyway I don't think the actual head of his penis should be that red and tight looking so I just wanted to know what the head of an intact 2 year old's penis should look like.


It sounds like what my youngest son's looks like. I know that I've seen pictures of circ'd penises online but never intact glans because for most babies, the foreskin is fused to the glans. All the penises I'm used to seeing are adult circ'd ones that are white & calused (sp?) because of the lack of foreskin.

If the only symptom is that he's tugging on it, I don't think there's a problem. Little boys like their parts; they've got lots of nerve endings & it's all supposed to feel good (remember that masturbation was the reason why circ started in this country - to prevent children from playing w/ their parts).

Best wishes,

Sus


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## HealthyHappyMom (Jul 2, 2012)

My first instinct is to get it checked out by a qualified healthcare professional and continue to do more research. My son is uncircumcised as well, I use a natural, healthy solution to cleanse him, as a lot of the 'regular' cleansers can be irritating.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Cleaning an intact penis is a non-issue. When he has a bath, it gets washed. If he happens to retract in the bath, it gets a bit of extra rinsing, but it doesn't need to be cleaned, or checked, at all.

ETA: Nothing you describe worries me. The glans is supposed to be dark in colour, and little boys frequently tug on their penises/foreskins.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

The natural color of the intact penis is a deep reddish/purple much like the labia and the inside of the mouth. It is often disconcerting to those of us who have never seen the glans of the intact penis. But it is 100% normal. It should also be nice and shiny because it is an internal organ protected by the foreskin. The reason males who are circed have the dull color is because it has been rubbed so much by clothing that the skin has built up extra layers to protect it. If an intact male where to retract and try to wear his foreskin that way his clothing would be super irritating.

No one should ever retract your ds not you or the Dr. the reason being is that like pp said it is self cleaning and by doing so you can actually cause damage and scar tissue. While most retracting is harmless there is always a chance it can cause damage and that makes it not worth the risk.

The tugging is totally normal it actually helps loosen the foreskin from the glans allowing for natural retraction to take place. Some boys do it more than others as he ages you can talk to him about it and tell him penis play is for private time but for now just try to distract him if it bothers you.


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## Roland Day (Jun 2, 2013)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *corbysmom*
> 
> no thats not what I'm saying. I saw the head of his penis because he has been walking around pulling on it and pulling back the foreskin, when I saw that it was red, I pulled it back to look at it, the same way he doctor has to make sure it's clean.(there is no resistance, I would never pull further than it would go) besides my doctor told me to pull down the foreskin as much as it would go to make sure everything looked ok and it was clean. anyway I don't think the actual head of his penis should be that red and tight looking so I just wanted to know what the head of an intact 2 year old's penis should look like.


Your doctor, like so many American doctors, is ignorant of the foreskin and is giving bad advice.

It is normal for the head of the intact foreskinned penis to be red to purple.

Kids like to play with their foreskins because it is full of pleasure nerves and it feels good.

I don't see anything to worry about here.


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