# How do you explain abortion to your children?



## ananas (Jun 6, 2006)

I know how heated and ugly this subject can get and that's not what I'm looking for at all. I don't even want to know how YOU feel about abortion.

But, if your child hears about it and asks what it is, how do you explain? Do you wait until they ask or is it something you tell them beforehand?


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

My 6-year-old hasn't asked yet. I haven't mentioned it. I have thought about it in the past, but I haven't come up with an explanation that I'm satisfied with. Thanks for posting this thread.


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## swellmomma (Jan 1, 2004)

I have no idea how I would handle it. It has never come up. I would like to think I wouldbe able to tell them the truth, and share my beliefs on it without it becoming a preaching session, but I really don't know. I guess it would have to do with the age of my children and why they are asking, as in are they young and asking because they heard the term in general or because they know someone who is having one done kwim.


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## DreamsInDigital (Sep 18, 2003)

My oldest son and I have had a discussion about it because he heard some kids talking about it while they were outside playing together. I gave him the basics without getting too much into detail, answered his questions and let him know he was free to come to me with questions about it at any time. He's about to turn 9. If he'd been younger I possibly would have struggled more with what to say, but he is entering the age when children generally have sex ed. in public school, and I feel that reproductive information, birth control and safe sex, etc. are not discussed enough with open, honest communication in most schools. We homeschool, BTW, and he knows quite a bit about pregnancy from asking questions while I've been pregnant.


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## kaylee18 (Dec 25, 2005)

When I was very young (about 7, I think) and asked my father what "abortion" meant, he said something like:

"Remember how a baby has to grow inside its mother for a long time before it's ready to be born? Well, abortion is when a child is taken out of its mother too early, before it has grown enough to be able to live outside the mom's body, and so the child dies."

When I was several years older, I learned that was not quite accurate, since the child is killed prior to birth in most abortion procedures, and since many abortions are performed after the gestational age when survival would be possible, had the child not been killed as part of the procedure. However, I think his explanation was very thoughtful and appropriate for my age at the time.


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## kaylee18 (Dec 25, 2005)

I also knew about pregnancy and abortion for years before I knew anything about sex. Knowing that babies grow inside their mothers, and that they can only come out through labor or surgery, does not require the knowledge of exactly how they get in there.


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## swellmomma (Jan 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DreamsInDigital* 
My oldest son and I have had a discussion about it because he heard some kids talking about it while they were outside playing together. I gave him the basics without getting too much into detail, answered his questions and let him know he was free to come to me with questions about it at any time. He's about to turn 9. If he'd been younger I possibly would have struggled more with what to say, but he is entering the age when children generally have sex ed. in public school, and I feel that reproductive information, birth control and safe sex, etc. are not discussed enough with open, honest communication in most schools. We homeschool, BTW, and he knows quite a bit about pregnancy from asking questions while I've been pregnant.


My kids know lots about sex, pregnanct, STD's but this has not as of yet come up, they are teh same age as your son (8&9), how did you phrase things to him, and did you bring it up because you overheard the topic come up in play, or did he ask you?

The kids have asked about homosexuality, Aids, herpes etc due to a combination of commercials, tv programs and kids in the neighborhood. They have asked questions about pregnancy due to my pregnancies, they know about m/c due to mine, but the topic of abortion has not come up at this point. Is this something that should be left until they ask, or brought up to them?


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I've talked about it with my five year old for a few years now. I just explained that when a woman gets pregnant, she can have an abortion if she doesn't want to have a baby, and went on to say that doctors can perform the abortion by taking the fetus out of the woman's uterus, or the woman can take specific herbs or a pill to cause her body to remove the fetus itself.

I am 100% pro-choice and it comes up a lot in our house. I want my kids to be pro-choice too, and for me, that means making sure that their first exposure to the concept of abortion have them thinking of it in a positive way.

ETA: Oh, and she did ask, but it was after hearing me explain that one of the reasons a certain president is an a$$hole is because he wants to force women to stay pregnant when they don't want to be.


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## stormborn (Dec 8, 2001)

It hasn't come up yet but I'm sure it will soon...we walk past a church on the way downtown that has the dozens of crosses with the big signs up.

I guess I'll start with the fact that it is a procedure to end a pregnancy and go from there.


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## allegra (Aug 23, 2007)

Well, they'd have to know about the mechanics of sex first. They'd also have to know a pregnancy can occur by accident. They'd have to know about contraceptive methods.

I've got no idea of what I'd tell a very young child. One who already knows about everything I listed above, I'd just explain it's a method to end pregnancy without getting too graphic on the details.


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

It would depend on what age my child was. That being said, I wouldn't sugar coat what it is. I would be honest. I'm assuming that the child in question has an understanding of sex, how one gets pregnant, ect. If they are old enough to know that, I think (of course it depends on each individual child) they would be old enough to know. I would also give my (strong) opinion on it. I don't expect that they agree, but I wouldn't hide how I feel about it.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
I've talked about it with my five year old for a few years now. I just explained that when a woman gets pregnant, she can have an abortion if she doesn't want to have a baby, and went on to say that doctors can perform the abortion by taking the fetus out of the woman's uterus, or the woman can take specific herbs or a pill to cause her body to remove the fetus itself.

I am 100% pro-choice and it comes up a lot in our house. I want my kids to be pro-choice too, and for me, that means making sure that their first exposure to the concept of abortion have them thinking of it in a positive way.
.

This is how I will handle it too.


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## Qestia (Sep 26, 2005)

huh, if a young child asked me I'd probably do as Atticus Finch did when Scout asked him what rape was in "To Kill a Mockingbird": ie "carnal knowledge of a woman forcibly and without her consent." I guess the abortion equivalent would be "termination of a pregnancy". I don't imagine going into more detail until after the birds and the bees are well understood.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

It came up here when there was some kind of political discussion or something. I told my daughter that if a woman is pregnant and doesn't want to be pregnant anymore, that it is a way to end the pregnancy so she won't have a baby.

She already knew about pregnancy, birth, and very general information about sex.


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## 2crazykids (Jun 19, 2005)

Quote:

, and since many abortions are performed after the gestational age when survival would be possible,
I'd like to know what this poster meant by this comment. It doesn't seem to make any sense at all. All of the people that I have known to make a choice to abort have done so way before any sort of viability...And I know A LOT of women who've had abortions so my sample number is pretty good.

Hmmm...I don't think it's developmentally appropriate to discuss the mechanics of abortion until the child is in the pre-adolescent stage.

But if the subject comes up here's what I would say depending on the age.

3-6 years: Abortion is a medical procedure for women. Or abortion is something a woman has to go to a doctor so that they don't have a baby until they are ready.

7-10 years: First, I think the child needs the mechanics of sex and conception as background knowledge for understanding the concept of abortion. I would not even begin to discuss abortion until the scaffolding of knowledge detailing bodily changes, puberty, menstruation, cycles, overall health and hygiene, and human pregnancy and birth are discussed in a developmentally appropriate manner with the parents or other loving family unit.

Again, if the subject comes up one must be prepared. If pregnancy and birth and everything before that have not been discussed I would simply say what I wrote for children 3-6 years, and I would add: I would like to explain what abortion is in more detail with facts and reasons, but I want you to understand first what it means to be pregnant and sexually active. I will come back to your question as soon as we cover all the information that comes before understanding abortion. There is nothing wrong with telling children honestly, you need to know THIS first then I can teach you THAT. I think that way the children will hear all the important, hopefully balanced information from YOU, and then clear up any misconceptions they may have.

These are just some ideas, I hope others have more ideas to add! Great question.


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## BunnySlippers (Oct 30, 2007)

It has not come up yet, at 5.5 she is aware that gay is just as normal and acceptable as straight, adn two days ago she saw a passionate kiss and I manged to talk us through passionate kissing with someone you like/love, but are not related too, without getting into details she did not ask for(and I felt she was not ready for).

ummm, anyway back to the subject. I think my response would be along the lines of it is a medical procedure to keep an egg or fetus from growing into a baby when the woman is not ready for one.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

Our oldest (almost 5) knows that babies grow inside thier mothers "tummy" before they're born, but he doesn't know the mechanics of sex. I don't think he needs to to have a basic grasp of what abortion is.

He has asked because of something he heard on the radio, and I explained that some women do not want a baby growing in their tummy and have it taken out (and the baby dies).

We are pro-life and so further explanation will come in the context of that and our faith.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

If my DS ever askes - I will tell them the basic facts. The same I would with everything else. ex: 'how do you go to the toilet?'...me: 'well first you pull your pants and trousers down and then you sit on it ...'...etc... Basic facts. What is abortion...well they do this and this etc.
How he applies his own morals and values to that will be for him to decide.
However I may ask him how he 'feels' about it when he is older and he may ask the same of me.
I think if a child is old enough to ask, then they are old enough to know and I wouldnt ever lie to my child, though I may 'dumb' it down a bit depending on their age just so they can understand it better.


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## riebee (Feb 12, 2007)

Why my kiddos have asked me.

I have calmly explained that it is a process where a woman makes a painful decision to end her pregnancy before the baby is born. It's not an easy decision, nor a popular one, and most women don't really want to do it- but feel they must.

My eldest is 19 and knows the whys and whatfors now.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Ibtl


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## calpurnia (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2crazykids* 
I'd like to know what this poster meant by this comment. It doesn't seem to make any sense at all. All of the people that I have known to make a choice to abort have done so way before any sort of viability...And I know A LOT of women who've had abortions so my sample number is pretty good.

In the UK, 80% of abortions take place before 13 weeks. So yeah.


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I'm pro-life in all situations. If it comes up I will tell my children the truth. The details will depend on their age. It will never be looked on as positive in our home. After my children are grown if they decide to be pro-choice that will be their decision.


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## Astoria (May 27, 2004)

Its tricky to answer because "how to talk to children about it" is very much tied to how a parent personally feels about it.

I would answer with the children in mind more than with adult politics in mind. Because children need to believe parents are reliable and the world is primarily safe, I skew answers to young children in those directions. As they grow and develop the ability to comprehend more complexity, there can be more room for conversation.

I would say, to children between 5 and 7 or so: If a woman is not ready or able to be a mother, but God sends her a baby anyway, she has three choices. She can choose to ask God for help to become a mother to the baby. She can choose to let the baby grow in her body, feed and birth the baby, and then give the baby to a family that needs and wants a baby. Or she can choose to send the baby back to God because she can't have it in her body now and ask God to take care of the baby until she or another family is ready to take care of the baby.

That's what I would say. Obviously, this is a deeply personal question.


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

I was 6 when my best friend and I saw a TV news item about abortion and asked her mother what it was. Her mother's explanation is the one I will use for my child when it comes up: Sometimes a woman gets pregnant when she is not ready to have a baby. Abortion is an operation to end the pregnancy and take out the dead embryo. It's kind of like deciding to have the vet kill your sick dog or cat instead of letting it suffer. Sometimes it is the best decision, but it is a sad thing to do.


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## kaylee18 (Dec 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *calpurnia* 
In the UK, 80% of abortions take place before 13 weeks. So yeah.

Which means that 20% happen after 13 weeks.

I said "many," not the majority. Many, meaning thousands per year. Fully 1% of US abortions occur after 21 weeks gestation, which might not sound like much at first, but it's over 12,000 each year. That's about 4 times the current rate of SIDS.


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## Needle in the Hay (Sep 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
Ibtl

Don't you have to give an answer to btl? It's a serious question







Which you'd have to btl to answer. Not likely the way the thread is going!

My DS is 6 and 1/2 and hasn't any idea about abortions. I hope it will stay that way for several more years, just like a lot of other things that, really, he doesn't need to know about right now. Things come up now and then though and I address/explain them as they do. I like some of the simple answers on this thread.


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Astoria* 
Its tricky to answer because "how to talk to children about it" is very much tied to how a parent personally feels about it.

I would answer with the children in mind more than with adult politics in mind. Because children need to believe parents are reliable and the world is primarily safe, I skew answers to young children in those directions. As they grow and develop the ability to comprehend more complexity, there can be more room for conversation.

I would say, to children between 5 and 7 or so: If a woman is not ready or able to be a mother, but God sends her a baby anyway, she has three choices. She can choose to ask God for help to become a mother to the baby. She can choose to let the baby grow in her body, feed and birth the baby, and then give the baby to a family that needs and wants a baby. Or she can choose to send the baby back to God because she can't have it in her body now and ask God to take care of the baby until she or another family is ready to take care of the baby.

That's what I would say. Obviously, this is a deeply personal question.

That is a beautiful way to put it and still include spirituality in the conversation.


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

We passed a ridiculous Right to Life billboard everday on our walk this summer so it came up fast for us.

I told my kids that having babies is very hard work, marvelous but hard, and that sometimes mommies aren't ready to have a baby so they see a doctor who helps them make the baby go away.

It was a rather nice conversation that wandered into adoption and mommies who love other mommies and daddies who don't love anyone but want to love a baby, etc. etc. So although I muttered about the stupid billboard every time I saw it, it gave me a great opportunity to explain basic human rights to my kids.


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

We passed a ridiculous Right to Life billboard everday on our walk this summer so it came up fast for us.

I told my kids that having babies is very hard work, marvelous but hard, and that sometimes mommies aren't ready to have a baby so they see a doctor who helps them make the baby go away.

It was a rather nice conversation that wandered into adoption and mommies who love other mommies and daddies who don't love anyone but want to love a baby, etc. etc. So although I muttered about the stupid billboard every time I saw it, it gave me a great opportunity to explain basic human rights to my kids.


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## Jennifer3141 (Mar 7, 2004)

We passed a ridiculous Right to Life billboard everday on our walk this summer so it came up fast for us.

I told my kids that having babies is very hard work, marvelous but hard, and that sometimes mommies aren't ready to have a baby so they see a doctor who helps them make the baby go away.

It was a rather nice conversation that wandered into adoption and mommies who love other mommies and daddies who don't love anyone but want to love a baby, etc. etc. So although I muttered about the stupid billboard every time I saw it, it gave me a great opportunity to explain basic human rights to my kids.


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## fairejour (Apr 15, 2004)

See, this is one reason I like sign language so much. The sign itself explains what it means. (oh, and she can't overhear!)


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *fairejour* 
See, this is one reason I like sign language so much. The sign itself explains what it means. (oh, and she can't overhear!)

What is the sign for abortion?


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## honolula (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:

Its tricky to answer because "how to talk to children about it" is very much tied to how a parent personally feels about it.
I remember the enormous pressure I felt from my mother to agree with her POV, so I plan on being more neutral with my children when the subject comes up.


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## ChristianMomOf2 (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2crazykids* 
I'd like to know what this poster meant by this comment. It doesn't seem to make any sense at all. All of the people that I have known to make a choice to abort have done so way before any sort of viability...And I know A LOT of women who've had abortions so my sample number is pretty good.

I know a woman who is an abortion survivor. There are many out there (just google it).

I wouldn't know what to say to a 5 year old. I pray that my children will not be exposed to that kind of adult topic that young


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

we explained that abortion is when a mom decided to end her babies life before it is born. then went on to talk about why and how it fit in with out morals etc. we refrained from talking too much about how but did get into it a little.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I might tell mine that sometimes a mama gets a baby in her belly by accident or at a bad time, that sometimes she has other things she needs to do or worries she won't be able to take care of the baby, because we live in a world where some people have too much and other people have too little to survive and live well. So sometimes the mama decides it is best to send the baby back to the Spirit World, to come to her belly at another time, or to wait for her there.

(My kid is big into the Spirit World right now and we have a pact to meet there when we die).


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Astoria* 
I would say, to children between 5 and 7 or so: If a woman is not ready or able to be a mother, but God sends her a baby anyway, she has three choices. She can choose to ask God for help to become a mother to the baby. She can choose to let the baby grow in her body, feed and birth the baby, and then give the baby to a family that needs and wants a baby. Or she can choose to send the baby back to God because she can't have it in her body now and ask God to take care of the baby until she or another family is ready to take care of the baby.

That's what I would say. Obviously, this is a deeply personal question.

This is an answer I really like also. I would probably sub 'Spirit World' language for 'God' but I like this explanation a lot.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Serial posting - I also think it's important to explain the political context of women fighting for the right to choice. I would probably say something like that some people try to tell mamas that they are not allowed to send any babies back to the Spirit World and that they have to keep the baby earthside no matter how hard it is or how hard the baby and mamas lives are, and that I think these people should stop telling mamas what to do and instead make it so all babies and mamas can have what they need in this world, so mamas can have an easier choice.


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## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I think any pregnancy that ends preterm is actually medically an aborted pregnancy, regardless of how it ends. I think I'd get the medical definition from my OB friend and start there, deciding how much to share based on my DC's age/maturity level.
If the subject of Why came up...PP's have given good reasons.

I'd think I'd have to add that there are many ways to avoid accidental babies.
What I most want for my kids is to understand the law of unintended consequences, and to make well thought out choices.

That said there are pregnancies that are TRULY accidental or dangerous to the mommy and these are special circumstances.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

We'll tell her the truth when she asks. We're both pro-life... So we think that a mother has the right to life and if her life is in danger she can have an abortion. But other than that - it's wrong. And we'll explain it that way.

We plan to approach it from a maternal life point at first. We will be selective and explain that sometimes a mama gets sick even when she's pregnant (like cancer) and in order for her to get better she has to choose not to have her baby.

We will wait for along time before bringing up the rest of the cases. I think it's important for her to realize that there are not nice people out there who will selfishly choose their own convenience (rather than their lives) over the life of their baby. I don't believe in sugar coating things for kids.


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## snowyowl (Dec 27, 2006)

My daughter understands that abortion refers to a medical procedure that terminates a pregnancy and that there are a number of reasons why someone might choose to have an abortion.

She also knows that I trust women to make their own decisions when it comes to their bodies.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

At this point I would just tell them that it's the word for the many different ways for a pregnancy to end or be ended. Kids are 5 and 7. I don't feel like it's a huge deal really.

ETA: by not a huge deal I mean it's not a controversial subject in my home or social circle, it's paid for by healthcare, isn't a political platform in any publicised political debates etc. It is just what it is like any other physical procedure with various opinions and ways to go about it that would only be really interesting, imo, to someone affected by the controversy or considering an abortion for herself.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

i have told my dd depending on the case at hand was that
that there was something wrong and it had to be done
that the mom chose not to have a baby she the baby was not wanted it

sorry i dont sugar coat things


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## Sonya77 (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snowyowl* 
My daughter understands that abortion refers to a medical procedure that terminates a pregnancy and that there are a number of reasons why someone might choose to have an abortion.

She also knows that I trust women to make their own decisions when it comes to their bodies.

My daughter is just 6 months old, but I believe I will file your response away for the day that conversation comes. Good start.


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## queenjane (May 17, 2004)

I can't remember if i've talked about this specific subject with my son (he's 11)...but i dont find it difficult to talk about issues from "both sides" of a controversy, without necessarily injecting my own opinion about it. Obviously, i share my opinions about issues with him, but i try hard to give many points of view. I dont think its right to act as if there arent good points to both sides of an issue...just because i might not agree with the point, doesnt necessarily mean the other side is "wrong", they just think differently than i do. (Therefore, i wouldnt tell my son something so horrible as women who have abortions are "not nice", when that is simply not true. In fact, i'm betting that plenty of "nice" women you know have had one.)

So...i might tell my son something like this: "Abortion is when a pregnancy ends before a baby is born. It can be something that happens naturally, or it can be a medical procedure that the woman chooses to have done, either through surgery, or with a pill. Usually, these procedures are done very early in the pregnancy, before the fetus/baby is able to live on its own. Sometimes its done later, often for reasons like the woman's health being in danger, or the baby being sick and unlikely to live a "normal" life. Some people think a woman should be able to make the choice to have an abortion, and thats called being "prochoice". Some people think that the woman should not be able to do it, that a developing fetus is a person from the beginning. They consider it killing a human person, and they are called "prolife"."

I might go into some of the historical facts, like about Roe vs. Wade, illegal abortions, etc. I might talk about my experience with escorting at abortion clinics when i was a teenager. I might talk about my discomfort with "abortion for fetal anomaly", and the societal implications i believe arise from that (or perhaps are symtoms of.) But i would also discuss why someone might make that difficult choice. I would likely talk about why someone might be prochoice or prolife, and perhaps talk about what each group might have in common with the other. I might talk about how many many women in this country have had abortions, and that such women come from all socioeconomic levels, races, ages, etc. That they may choose to terminate for many different reasons, and that some would perhaps choose to continue if they had support (either from family or economic support)...i might talk about ways we as a society could reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, and also ways our society could function that could help ensure no woman was coerced to abort or to remain pregnant. I might talk about the other options...parenting, adoption...and the possible pros/cons of each.

My goal would not be to make sure my child thinks just like me, but that he has a good grasp of all the many issues surrounding this one big issue, so that he can decide for himself how he feels (and how he feels can change over time.) I would probably not discuss this issue all in one conversation, but add more to it over time.

My son is 11, and i obviously would not have such an indepth conversation with a five yr old (and probably would start a conversation with "what do *you* think abortion is? Where did you hear it?") It made me sad when i would see little children at protests, holding very graphic pictures (on both sides of the issue). I think there is a way to satisfy a child's curiousity about a word they do not know, without laying out all the graphic and adult details.

Katherine


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## ShadowMoon (Oct 18, 2006)

I am not sure exactly what I will say to my son if and when he asks...it will depend upon what he already understands about life, sex, and birth at the time. I'm not worried about it and I'm sure it will come up. I will keep the debates, political, and religious views out of it until he's much older and able to understand all of these issues.

Oh, and I'm actually pleased and surprised this thread made it this long without going south. . As one of those "not nice people out there" who "selfishly chose their own convenience" over the life of a future baby, I thank you for choosing your language carefully (no matter what your view).


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## blazer (May 6, 2007)

Honestly I can't imagine explaining that to a 5 year old. but I am probably niave.


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## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

gosh, I dont' know. I would hope my 3 year old wouldn't hear that yet. In what context?


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I personally would explain to them how I feel about it. It is not a relative subject to me.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

My 6 year old asked me what it meant not too long ago when she overheard the word. She understands the basics of pregnancy so I told her it was when a pregnant lady decided she couldn't have her baby and had a doctor take it out. She asked me if that meant the baby died and I said yes. I'll talk to her more about it as she gets older, but she seemed satisfied with that for now. My own views on abortion aren't black and white and I don't think young children need politics shoved down their throats, so I try to keep answers to questions like that simple.


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## milkeriffic mama (Aug 31, 2007)

not sure what i'll say, but i agree with those who say that it's difficult, if not impossible to merely explain abortion objectively. The words that we choose to use in talking to our children every day are colored by our beliefs, our cultures, our experiences.

That said, having worked at an abortion clinic and helped so many women through a difficult experience, it's important that the first time I talk to my son about abortion, I frame the issue with compassion and talk about the importance of the right to choose and the importance of people having rights to make decisions about our own bodies and lives.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

I think the best thing is to tell them the truth, don't use confusing language, and give them both sides of the issue if they're old enough to understand it. We are a strongly pro life household, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't explain to my children that there are some circumstances where having "choice" can be a good thing.


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## because (Sep 11, 2003)

"Abortion is when a lady has a surgery to take out some parts that could grow into a baby if they stayed in her uterus."

That's basically how I defined it to DD weeks before she turned 5. She didn't ask more questions. I would have answered them as simply and objectively if she had.

As she gets older and gains a better understanding of sex and reproduction, we can get into politics.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *snowyowl* 
My daughter understands that abortion refers to a medical procedure that terminates a pregnancy and that there are a number of reasons why someone might choose to have an abortion.

She also knows that I trust women to make their own decisions when it comes to their bodies.

Yes, that is my sentiment exactly.


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

this subject came up after family life class bit both of my boys in the 7thish grade. I explained it the best I knew how we are a VERY prolife family so I put in those terms. I didnt sugar coat it. They both were devistated with my last misscarriage and cant understand why anyone would ever "want" to terminate a baby upon request.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kaylee18* 
When I was very young (about 7, I think) and asked my father what "abortion" meant, he said something like:

"Remember how a baby has to grow inside its mother for a long time before it's ready to be born? Well, abortion is when a child is taken out of its mother too early, before it has grown enough to be able to live outside the mom's body, and so the child dies."

Yes, this is how I would explain/have explained it when asked by any of my children. Dd1 had questions about it after it was mentioned on the radio. She was somewhere between 5 and 6.

Though I'm strongly pro-life, I also don't believe in demonizing the girls and women who are often scared, lacking support, and looking on abortion as their only choice.

Dd1 came to a basic understanding of the sex act, when she asked really pointed questions when she was 4 and I was pregnant with her baby sister. She's aware that there's a special kind of snuggling that happens between a mommy and daddy, where the daddy puts his sperm into the mommy and it fertilizes an egg if an egg is there, and then there's a growing baby in the mommy's uterus, which needs to stay in there 'til the baby's ready to live outside the mommy.

So when dd was curious about abortion, and not understanding why people would do that, I talked about how sex is something people have fun doing, and sometimes they do it before they're ready to take care of a baby. And then the girl doesn't know what to do when she finds out she's having a baby, especially if the baby's father was just wanting to have fun and doesn't want to be responsible for a baby.


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## ChristianMomOf2 (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *because* 
"Abortion is when a lady has a surgery to take out *some parts that could grow into a baby* if they stayed in her uterus."

That's basically how I defined it to DD weeks before she turned 5. She didn't ask more questions. I would have answered them as simply and *objectively* if she had.

As she gets older and gains a better understanding of sex and reproduction, we can get into politics.

bolding mine

I don't see this as objective... it's not "some" parts, it's "all" the parts that are the baby. I do understand trying to protect a young child, by only telling them what they need to know vs. the whole picture... but I don't understand telling them something that's different from what abortion is... if you want to keep it simple you could use...

"it's when a pregnancy ends before a baby is born" ... it's very general and truthful. (although at 5 yrs, I'd still have a hard time handling that my child even knew the word)

I hope I don't upset you by typing this out, and I hope that no one looks at this as rude, I'm not upset... I'm just trying to learn why you would explain that way, and show why I wouldn't.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I think very few of the responses here could truly qualify as 'objective,' and the one you picked out hardly rates as among the more eyebrow-raising IMO. I don't teach my child important things in ways that do not include an infusion of my values, and I think that is okay.


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## Forthwith (Aug 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ChristianMomOf2* 
bolding mine

I don't see this as objective... it's not "some" parts, it's "all" the parts that are the baby.

I read this sentence differently than you did. I don't think she was saying "some of the parts that become a baby," but "some parts that could become a baby" - in the same way that I could explain the digestive system as "some parts that help you eat."


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