# Tandem Nursing--One Side for Each?



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Baby # 2 is due in a couple weeks, and my son (2 years old) is getting more and more excited.....about the return of my milk!









Actually, I don't think he's made the connection, exactly, but since I started having colostrum again, about a month ago, he's increased his nursing requests, which before that, were down to about twice a day.

So, obviously, we are planning to tandem (actually, have been all along, but if he'd chosen to self-wean, I think I would have been okay with it.

Here's my question: A number of my friends--nursing pros, all of them







have mentioned that I might want to restrict ds to one side, and save the other side for the baby.

I've read some about this--even that the content of the milk will change to accomodate the separate needs of each child! Pretty cool.....but I'm not real clear on the benefits of this sort of restriction.

Here are my concerns: first, I'm not sure ds would be thrilled...he's pretty attached to both sides, LOL! Second, while I would be fine if he only nursed on one side, I don't think it would be very convenient to have to keep the baby on only one side.

If I did that, I'd end up sleeping on the same side all night, which would be uncomfortable for me. DS is night-weaned, and sleeps in his own bed now, FTMP, so it will only be the baby in bed with us, and I'm pretty sure I'd rather alternate sides during the night.

Also, since the baby will be nursing SO MUCH, I just think it might be inconvenient to only have one side to nurse him/her from. For this reason: When I'm nursing in a sling, it is MUCH more comfortable to use the left breast, because of the way I wear the sling, etc. But when I sit down, depending on where I sit, it may be more comfortable to nurse from the right side.

Basically, I just don't want to feel like my options are limited, KWIM? But I'm wondering if I'm missing something. Is there a more obvious reason why it would be an advantage to keep one child per breast, rather than "share and share alike"? Even assuming (as I am) that DS will get much more interested in nursing when the milk is plentiful again, I very much doubt that he will want to nurse everytime the baby does. I probably wouldn't allow him that much unrestricted access, anyway (gotta do laundry some time, no matter how nice it would be to sit and nurse all day!). Also, he rarely asks to nurse in public. Not a problem when he does; I'm happy to nurse him when/where ever (okay, now that my belly and bladder are rebelling against even the lightest of pressure, I'm not exactly thrilled to have him on me all the time, but YKWIM....), but usually he's too busy making friends or trying to escape from me to think about nursing! LOL!

Okay, enough rambling....back to the question: What would be the potential advantages of doing the "one child per breast" tandem nursing? And, would those advantages outweigh the inconveniences I've mentioned above?

My tendency in this (as with most things) is to just "go with the flow (no pun intended!







) and not overthink this or make it harder than it has to be. But because the issue has been raised to me several times, by people I trust and respect, I'm wondering if I'm missing something.

Any advice/experience would be appreciated!

TIA!


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

First, I find it really hard to believe that each breast will produce a different kind of milk. I would imagine that both breasts will make newborn milk.
Second, I can't imagine the engorgement those first few weeks before your breasts "learn" how much to make... and I would think you would be really lopsided as a result of the different demands... one side (the one new baby nurses from) would get way bigger than the other. I mean, nursing my toddler before I got pregnant I was a DD, but nursing a newborn I am wearing an H cup bra. What would you do about a bra? And what about the fact that toddler may skip nursing for an entire day now and then? Sounds painful to me, and not worth the trouble.

Like with everything else, I am just wingin' it, going with my instincts. Tandem nursing isn't rocket science.

Anyway, that's just my 2cents. I am interested in what others have to say, though.


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## nancg (Mar 1, 2002)

I did not and would not restrict to one kid per side. For one, that is bound to make you lopsided at weaning time. For two, there are all the other inconveniences you mention. Colostrum will reach the baby. And finally, I think many of the benefits of tandem nursing arise from the "share and share alike" attitude you bring to it. For example, though my two girls relationship is sure not perfect, DD1 has ALWAYS shared food with DD2. I am positive this is because DD2 and she have always shared nursing.

There are all kinds of other restrictions you might place about timing and duration of the older nurslings' sessions, but you can take those one at a time, as needed to maintain sanity.

Now, all this may not work perfectly in the early weeks, as your supply ramps up to meet both kids' demands - I did have to shorten nursings for my older DD often, when DD2 was fussing for more milk to go to sleep, for example. But it will work out.

You're right to trust yourself. Everyone finds different answers for working out tandem nursing, and you'll find out what your own personal limitations are soon enough. No sense making a big list of rules before you start.

Good luck!
Nancy
mom to nurslings Emily (4.5) and Hazel (1.5)


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## kerikadi (Nov 22, 2001)

Each of the girls has a favorite. DD#1 always goes to the left and when DD#2 is on the left she doesn't nurse well so she prefers the right. I tried to get DD#1 used to the left side early on because I have had supply issues on that side and wanted the better performing breast for my newborn. However, I don't restrict either of them and nurse them from the opposite side occasionally but they both prefer 'their' breast. I didn't force the issue, after having 4 kids I learned if it is part of your plan they throw it out the window and make their own plan. For us it just worked out this way.

Keri


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## zaftigmama (Feb 13, 2004)

I always heard I was supposed to have a breast for each child. In the very beginning I let the baby nurse on both sides - probably for 4 weeks or so. But it was easy because my toddler really only want to nurse once a night or so.

Occasionally my toddler would want to nurse while the baby was sleeping, and as soon as we were done, he'd wake up and want to nurse. He always got something, but I felt that he was getting enough of the foremilk, milk, hindmilk system, just whatever my toddler hadn't already had.

So, after those first few weeks, each kid got a breast and it worked out great. The baby started gaining weight faster and seemed happier (fuller, I'm guessing) and my daughter never really noticed the difference because we never switched during a feeding anyway. My LC agree that my body will produce different milk in each breast for the child, but I can't tell by hand expressing. I know one breast produces more.

I've never been lopsided, I think my body was doing a good job producing what the baby needed, so I never got too full. I don't know what would have happened in the early weeks, when both sides were engorged almost all the time. I'm imagining it would be very lopsided until your body adjusts.

Good luck either way!


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Thanks, everyone! I know I've read reliable info about each breast producing differently (both quantity and composition) but I don't remember exactly where I read it. My midwife has said the same thing, as well as my LLL leader and LC. So, I believe it works that way, I just don't know if there's a big benefit, KWIM?

As for being lopsided, I have been (noticibly, at least to me!







) since I first sprouted boobs! There's a thought....maybe this is my chance to correct my inequalties!









Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing more!

Thanks!


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## beanma (Jan 6, 2002)

i'm a tandemimg mama. my dds have preferred breasts, but i don't restrict them to one side unless dd1 is sick, but i doubt that's very effective at keeping germs from getting to dd2, just overly cautious (superstitious) on my part.

have you read hilary flower's "adventures in tandem nursing" book from LLL? it's great and has a lot of info on nursing thru pregnancy, too. i haven't read the whole thing straight thru, just skipped around, but i think i've read most of it by now. i don't recall anything about different sides producing differently in humans. i think there was a blurb in there about kangaroos doing that and wouldn't it be cool if we could, but the implication was that we don't. i wouldn't swear to it, but you might want to do some more research on that before you worry about it. kangaroo milk is also pink! what trivia tidbits i have stored in my brain! :LOL

for us i have dd2 on the left which leaves my right hand free for eating or typing (NAK :LOL) or other stuff and dd1 usually is on the right. i do switch them around occasionally. dd1 (she's 3) actually seems to like to have "her" side. i think maybe it makes her feel secure that there will always be milkies for her. if dd1 isn't nursing a whole lot on a given day i'll switch dd2 to lefty occasionally so it doesn't get too engorged and vice versa, too, if dd2 is taking a superlong nap or something.

we do cosleep with both, but if you wanted to restrict your newborn to one side at night and still roll over you could do it. think top boob and bottom boob.

hth and definitely check out "adventures" if you haven't already.

_edited to add:_ i found that kangaroo quote online --

Quote:

"Some marsupials like the red kangaroo and the agile wallaby have got tandem nursing evolution on their side. Kangaroo mothers can have an embryo in the uterus, a newborn joey attached to one teat inside the pouch, and a young one at foot that still reaches into the pouch for a suck at its own designated teat. The two teats have separate let-down reflexes, so the tiny newborn is not subjected to a torrent of milk when its older sibling begins to suck. Not only that, the kangaroo mother produces milk simultaneously of different quantity and composition from each teat. Not bad!"

-- Hilary Flower in Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond, p. 79


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## mommycaroline (Mar 2, 2004)

I would definitely not restrict them to one side. Aside from all the other information in the above posts, one of the risks of not breastfeeding is the fact that most parents always feed to one side and this inhibits proper motor development. If you restrict them to one side each, then you would be creating a very similar sort of environment.

Babies need to be switched from side to side, not only for the nutritional benefits, but there's a whole lot of development that's going on at the breast. Visual, tactile, neurological. Each side offers a different perspective, and different information for them to absorb. It also keeps their heads that nice round shape, which is less common in a not breastfed baby.

Good luck! I hope all goes well. I'll be joining you in tandem nursing come August. I plan to not overplan it, and just play it by ear. It all seems to work itself out anyway.

Caroline


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## ldsapmom (Apr 8, 2002)

Quote:

I would definitely not restrict them to one side. Aside from all the other information in the above posts, one of the risks of not breastfeeding is the fact that most parents always feed to one side and this inhibits proper motor development. If you restrict them to one side each, then you would be creating a very similar sort of environment.

Babies need to be switched from side to side, not only for the nutritional benefits, but there's a whole lot of development that's going on at the breast. Visual, tactile, neurological. Each side offers a different perspective, and different information for them to absorb. It also keeps their heads that nice round shape, which is less common in a not breastfed baby.
This was going to be my point -- even bottle fed babies need to be switched from side to side for proper development.

I tandem nursed for 22 months. My older son preferred one side, so he would choose that side, but I would alternate as well (ds preferred it, but he wasn't dumb -- he knew if he did not want to nurse on the other side he would not get to nurse that time!). I loved tandem nursing and would do it again in a heartbeat.

About the germs and limiting tandem nursers to their own sides in times of illness -- if the ill child has been nursing, your body has already started making antibodies and sending them out in your milk. Your well baby has already been exposed long before the ill child comes down with symptoms.


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## milk4two (Mar 20, 2003)

Each girl has an assigned side so I can make sure the baby gets enough, but we do switch occasionally and change positions frequently.


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## zaftigmama (Feb 13, 2004)

I was going to say the same thing. Even though each kid has their own breast (so to speak), we switch positions and which side I lie down on, so they're not always on the same side of me.

Although I tandem nurse in general, I have never nursed the kids at the same time. When I was doing some research on tandem nursing, it's assumed you will nurse them simultaneously at some point. I just have never had the occasion. Probably because my toddler nurses so infrequently.

If I get pregnant before my toddler weans, can you successfully nurse three kids? Esp. if one is nursing once a night? I can't imagine nursing two while being pregnant. I guess we'll see what happens!

Take care,


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