# how to deal with my toddler pushing other kids?



## radiowave (Jun 29, 2007)

My 17 month old daughter has recently started pushing and shoving other children, usually when they are playing with a toy she wants or just doesn't want them to play with. I have been redirecting her and explaining why we don't push, but sometimes it happens several times. I don't know what to do, and I don't know where this behavior comes from. She has been doing it to me and my husband occasionally as well.


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## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

We went through a similar phase, and our biggest help was always prevention - I had to hover for a few months while he was playing, and eventually I learned to anticipate when he was going to get upset. Before he got upset, I would gently redirect - "hey why don't we give Billy a turn in one minute" or "it looks like you might want that ball, Billy, can Bobby have a turn in one minute?" Etc. That way I was helping him learn the words he can eventually use. (btw - ds is 25 months and I often STILL have to do this)

I think it's pretty normal - toddlers are learning that they have desires too, but they lack the communication scales to obtain them. Remember, this too shall pass


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## kmattie (Jan 8, 2010)

The answer is simple...she is a toddler!
Let me share what I used and it worked wonderfuly.

CLICK on this: http://www.talkingtotoddlers.com/hg/?a=MEFQMa

I used these techniques on all my 3 children and now my 2year old grandson.
I makes these early years stress free for Mom and Dad.

Good luck and have fun!


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## lmk1 (Sep 21, 2007)

She's a toddler, it's normal. She can't say "I would like to play with that toy, can I borrow it?" Pushing, biting, hitting are all normal. It's really a great idea when toddlers get a chance to be around older kids, because older kids have learned to say "NO" to "defend" themselves. That teaches the younger child a million times better than the parents, IMO. It's always embarrassing when it's your kid being the aggressor, but personally I think kids will just figure it out, and I only like to step in when someone's about to be really hurt OR we don't know the other parent and they're not comfortable with the kids working it out for themselves. Ds went through all 3 phases (hitting, pushing, biting - although he only bit me!), and he got over them without really any "guidance". He just learned how to express himself better, so he could communicate what he wanted in a more efficient way. In fact, now he often initiates "sharing" his toy cars with other kids, and we've never told him to share. He just figured out that other kids are fun, and that you have to be nice to them to get them to play with you.


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