# Miscarry naturally or d/c?



## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Gosh I haven't researched this at all and was wondering if you all have any insight. I don't relish the idea of either one, frankly, but here has been my thought process so far:

I'm scared to miscarry at home. Blood makes me light headed and scared. I'm worried about waking up in a pool of blood, or bleeding a ton all at once and then having to drive to the hospital while bleeding heavily/loosing too much blood, etc. I'm not one of these women would could reach up and pull out clots without passing out (well, maybe I am I don't know, but it sounds scary to me). I'm also worried about having it take a really long time (I have a deadline coming up at work--jeez, it feels awful to be thinking such "practical" things right now, but it's a reality). I'm worried that if I let the m/c process take a long time, the physical recovery will also take a long time.

I'm concerned about the risks of a d&c--can it hurt your uterus or make it harder for you to have a child in the future (dh and I definitely want one more)? I'm also concerned about feeling sterile, but I guess not that much...part of me would be relieved to have it over I guess.

I'd love to read your thoughts/experiences. I've been reading through the "Exactly what to expect" thread, and it's a little scary to think about the bleeding I will have to do. I do want to see the baby though.


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## bc1995 (Mar 22, 2004)

I am so sorry you are facing this decision. I am so sorry for your loss.









For me there was no question. I was determined to miscarry naturally. I wanted to see my baby, and I couldn't stand the thought of her being scraped out of me. The bleeding was scary, I won't lie about that, but I still would not of chosen to do it any other way.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

what Carrie said. and it's what I did.


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## JBaxter (May 1, 2005)

I had a partial m/c with my first but ended up in the hospital bleeding heavily. When I found out my 5th pregnancy was not viable I couldnt go through with knowing the baby wasnt alive inside of me I also had a 18 month old at home and I was afraid of having to go back to the hospital in the middle if the night. I chose to have a D&C. Im glad of my choice it gave me closure. Good luck with your decision.


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## lil_stinkyfeet (Nov 12, 2006)

I chose to miscarry naturally. I feel it was the right decision for me, I am glad that I did. **HUGS**


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## Rose-Roget (May 25, 2008)

I'm in the same position. I had thought I'd like to do it naturally, and I may still do that, but all the stories I have read have made me pretty fearful, and I don't know what I would do if I was home alone with my ds. It could really freak him out, too, and I certainly wouldn't be able to care for him. I wish you the best of luck with this difficult decision.


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## savithny (Oct 23, 2005)

Did it both ways. Don't regret either. Each has its pluses and minuses.

Don't let anyone dictate your feelings to you on it. For every person who feels that waiting to do it naturally will bring a better sense of closure or some kind of healing, there is someone who feels that interminable waiting and wondering if every single twinge is the beginning of the end is psychological torture and that the D&C provides a definite end point.

I've dug around in the research. Best article I could find was a Cochrane review that looked at all the articles they could find on the subject, and it summed up the risks of miscarrying naturally vs. D&C and found that each has risks, that the risks are different for each, but are approximately equivalent in terms of risk to your health and future fertility, and that the choice between the two options should be left to the miscarrying woman.

So yeah, I did a D&C the first time (12 weeks) and m/c naturally the 2nd time (6 weeks). My choice for D&C was based on research as to what a 12-week miscarriage can be like, and how long it can take to begin when you've got a missed miscarriage. I knew it was best for me not to have to walk around feeling like I was the carrier of death inside me. The D&C was a huge relief. My second miscarriage started before I knew anything was wrong. I've got no problem with pain and with blood, and I got through it and was find with that choice too.


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## mammabunny (May 8, 2008)

I was 12wks when I started bleeding. I waited 10 days and nothing happened, just spotting. So I had the D&C. The waiting was hard for me. I felt like I needed closure so I could mourn and move on. I also have a 19mos at home and I needed to be taking care of him. I didn't want to be at the grocery and start having heavy cramping and bleeding. There are risks with both a natural miscarriage and d&c. Both can cause hemoraging, infection and further fertility issues. I wasn't looking forward to a "medical procedure," but by the time it was over, I felt like I could truly grieve. I wish you all the best in your decision.


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## nichole (Feb 9, 2004)

I think the risks are about the same. I would do whatever you are more comfortable with. Make sure you have help with childcare and someone to check on you and bring you a drink or a snack. I was stuck in the bathroom for a while.


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## kennedy444 (Aug 2, 2002)

I too had both but they were at totally different times in my pregnancy.

When I lost the baby at 13 weeks I had a d/c.
I didn't, just couldn't wait. Not knowing how long it would take natually was too much for me. My doc also said that even having it naturally, I might still need a d/c since I was farther along. I was so sad but was up and about the second day after.

When I miscarried the next time I was 6 or 7 weeks and it was just like a heavy period - no clots, no cramping, etc.

Sorry you have to be going through this.


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

With my first miscarriage, I chose to let it happen and didn't bother seeing anyone about it.

With my second though, I chose to have it induced because I didn't want to wait (baby had been still for around two weeks) any longer nor did I want a d&c. In the end I had my baby at home but due to retained placenta had to have an emergency d&c the next day. I'm glad I did it that way.

Every person is different so don't feel that you HAVE to do it one way or another. Base your decision upon what is right for you.


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## mamasgirls (Sep 8, 2004)

My first m/c just started yesterday at 8.5 weeks and it was natural. Honestly it was a lot more physically painful than I was anticipating. But for me it was worth it. I know the risks are low of something going wrong with a d&c, but I still wanted to be in the comfort of my own home, without general anesthesia and a hospital setting. It took one week for my m/c to happen after I found out the baby had stopped growing.

Everyone is different, and as long as you make an informed decision, you know it will be the right one for you


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## chrissy (Jun 5, 2002)

I have had 2 miscarriages, one very early (just confirmed pregnancy when it started) and the other at 8.5 weeks.

I chose to miscarry naturally at home, rather than have a d&c (for the second, the first was just like a period). The OB said that it was totally up to me. One piece of advice he gave me was to be aware of my blood loss. He said it was normal to bleed A LOT during a miscarriage, and that was okay. He said if I bled through 1 heavy duty pad in one hour that was okay, but if the next hour I again bled through another heavy duty pad then that was probably too much blood.

One of the main reasons that I chose to miscarry at home was that I was worried how a d&c could affect my future fertility.

Oh, and I had acupuncture to help my miscarriage along. I did want things to proceed rather quickly once we learned our baby had died. I think if I had had to wait weeks, I would have ended up in the hospital to have a d&c. Emotionally, I don't know that I could have handled being pregnant with my baby being gone for so long.

Big gentle hugs to you mama. Nobody should ever have to make these kinds of decisions.


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## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Thanks so much for your perspectives moms. I really really appreciate it. I talked with my aunt who's a family doctor yesterday and she said that based on the amount of bleeding, cramping and clotting that I had on Saturday night (lots of all three), I may already be done. Gosh I hope so. She said that even though I didn't see placenta or fetus, it's possible that the baby died a couple of weeks ago, and they were smaller and more broken up...so they may have blended in much more with the blood clots.

She also said that if I really was 11 weeks along, I probably would have seen the placenta/fetus...so it's possible that I'm still not done. If I'm not done, she said that getting "suctioned" would probably be enough to clear out anything that might be left.

So I think I just need to get in to my midwives to find out if my uterus is low, firm and cervix is closed, and a pregnancy test is negative (= I'm done). Or not. Thanks again for your support and input. I really appreciate your perspectives, and I'm so sorry that we've all had to go through this--it's THE PITS!


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

If you have been paying super attention to everything and haven't seen the baby yet, then either it may have (and I hate to say it so much) kinda started reabsorbing into your womb (I've heard of it happening) or maybe it was a blighted ovum where the baby didnt develop. If you had an ultrasound that showed a still baby and you haven't seen placenta or baby, then chances are good it's still hanging out in there. Somehow my baby detached from the placenta during the labor. It's gory and sad to think about either way.

(((hugs)))


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## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Yeah, we hadn't had an ultrasound, and our last appointment was at 8weeks 5 days. My mw did a pelvic exam (felt like a normal 8 week uterus), and cervical check (felt normal). She did listen for the heartbeat, but didn't pick anything up (which is normal for 8 weeks for their practice). So perhaps the baby died shortly after that. Or it was a blighted ovum or something. I don't know.

I have heard stories from a couple of friends (gosh it's amazing how common m/c is, and how much you still don't know about it until you go through it) who bled seriously with contractions, but then it stopped, and then it started up again a day or so later. Yuck. I'm hoping that's not going to happen with me, but I guess it's a possibility. Jeez, I'd love some closure. I hate worrying that I will start bleeding heavily at any moment.

I had a regular checkup scheduled for next Tuesday, so I may just go in then (that's what my mw suggested), but I may also ask if she can fit me in tomorrow just to get a pelvic exam to feel the size of my uterus and check my cervix, take a pg test, etc...


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## mzfern (Nov 16, 2004)

I'm sorry for your loss


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## Panthira (Jun 13, 2005)

I chose not to do a D&C, and it turns out it was a good thing. I was bleeding profusely, with large clots and bright red blood, for 9 weeks!! I thought for sure I was miscarrying, and the doctor I finally went and saw in the ER thought so too. He offered to do a D&C, but I said I wouild prefer the natural route. At last minute before discharging me, an OB on call somewhere told him to do an ultrasound. I was indeed miscarrying, but not entirely. I had twins, and one baby was healthy as could be. I ended up bleeding horribly for 15 weeks in total, and baby who survived is almost 5 yrs old now. I'm so glad I didn't let that doctor do a D&C on me.

I also bled when pregnant with my 2 yr old. They think he was a twin and his twin was absorbed, or veinous lakes or something weird. Regardless, I bled for 12 weeks straight with him, and it was heavy bleeding.


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## MAWebster92182 (Jul 17, 2008)

I chose to have a D&C simply because every time I went to the bathroom & wiped blood, was a harsh reminder to me that my body was not doing what it was supposed to (or maybe it was? but at least not what I wanted it to). I needed it for closure to be able to begin to move on. I was pregnant again w/in 3 months of the procedure.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I chose to wait and do it at home. I would personally not consider a D&C without medical reason- though I understand why some women choose that.

For *me* I would want a natural birth and I would not want any added risks.

-Angela


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## WeasleyMum (Feb 27, 2007)

I've had four natural miscarriages... the first three went fine (scary, painful, and bloody, but I could handle it) and the last I spent wishing I'd just gotten the @#[email protected]# D&C. There's just no way to know. I thought after three I kinda knew what I was in for, but for some reason the last was different: the first three had this definite "end", where I felt, that's it, it's over. The last didn't do that. It was weird.

I guess I'd go along with the general consensus here and skip the d&c unless there's a good reason for it, but being scared of the blood is a pretty good reason-- at least in my experience, there's a freaky amount of blood.

I'm so sorry that you're having to make this decision.


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## Carlyle (Mar 31, 2007)

Thanks again everyone--what would we all do without MDC???







all around. I ended up passing the placenta when I went to the bathroom the Tuesday after started miscarrying. I hadn't bled more than a little bit of spotting for 2 days, so it was a bit of a surprise. I bled a bunch more on Tuesday evening (I guess from the placenta detatching), and the slowed down to just the occasional spot for several days. Yesterday (a WEEK later!) I had more bleeding again (really light, but enough that I wanted a small pad). It's such a weird thing. I think I may call my mw to try to get a follow up appointment for next week to make sure that my uterus is back to size and cervix is closed and all. Thanks again for all of your thoughts. It's nice knowing that the placenta is out at least...


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## alyk (Dec 29, 2005)

hi - i know you've made your decision, but thought I'd chime in for anyone like me who might read this later. I'm going through the same decision process right now.

For someone who has issues with blood, at 6 weeks (this is my 2nd at this time), the amount is equal to a regular period, except for (in my experience) one day of heavier than normal bleeding (and obviously it goes on longer than a period), but if your regular cycle doesn't freak you out, then you can handle this. and once the cramping is done, then it's just the inconvenience of bleeding to deal with which you'd have with a d & c as well.

The d & c started to seem like a good idea for me after I met with a dr who made it seem less scary and I thought I was over 9 weeks (lots of blood and etc). But once I learned that fetal growth stopped at 6 weeks, I decided to definitely try herbs to jump start the process. I'd already been bleeding lightly for 5 days on and off and before I even took the herbs, just the intention to do so got things going and I had some medium strength cramping for short time last night and found a very tiny bit of tissue in the morning. I'm trying the herbs now to make sure I'm completing, but I'm going to cancel the d & c appt and just wait for the 2 week follow up u/s. I really trust that my body can take care of this without outside intervention, but I was concerned about being out of commission with a brand new job (I'm spending most of week 3 at home).

I'm not sure if it's appropriate to post the herbs and usage here, but you can get the information from Susun Weed's 'Herbal for the childbearing year.' Acupuncture would be my next move before resorting to the d & c. I will post the results of my efforts.


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