# Why does my baby hate sleep??



## Evansmama (May 13, 2007)

Sigh....My DS is 9 months old and for the past month or so getting him to sleep is a nightmare! For naps, bettime, anything. It usually takes an hour if not longer. Most times we get to the red faced, screaming, blowing snot bubbles stage. Here are the things I have tried:

1. A bedtime/naptime routine
2. The sling
3. The rocker
4. Nursing
5. Daddy
6. The car. but he wakes as soon as you take him from the carseat and I can't afford to drive around.

The only thing I have not tried is his crib, where he has NEVER slept. I just don't know what to do with him. Some days I just give up and he doesn't nap at all. I know he is not getting enough sleep, but I don't know what to do. HELP ME!


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## AlpineMama (Aug 16, 2007)

I had the same problem until I started trying to put him down before I thought he was tired. Two hours after he gets up, whether that's getting up in the morning or getting up from a nap. He also never slept in a crib before but when I started putting him down for naps in our darkened bedroom in the Pack and Play, he started sleeping for, like, hours at a time, instead of minutes. I had no idea he could sleep so much! He basically didn't sleep at all during the day for his first four and a half months - now I'm worried that he sleeps TOO much because he'll sleep for hours at a time. He's asleep more than he's awake. Total 180.

ETA: Most nights DS's asleep at the same time - 7 pm or thereabouts. On nights when he's just not going down, I'll give him a long bath with me. It doesn't hype him up but it does keep him entertained enough that he doesn't work himself up into a fuss either. He usually falls asleep after. I'd say if your DC is fussing for a LONG time before falling asleep, and there's not anything actually wrong with him, don't force it. If he's not asleep within 5-10 minutes, just distract him with a quiet activity for a little while, then try again.


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## nylecoj (Apr 24, 2007)

We are going through this too.

Just started putting dd (also 9 months) to bed an hour earlier than normal (6 instead of 7) and we've been really strict about her routine the past few weeks.

Now, instead of fighting it, we put her down awake, let her fuss if she needs to while we are right there patting her and comforting her, and we keep laying her down overandoverandoverandover.

I've been laying her down, letting her express her frustration and then waiting until she pulls herself up to standing before laying her down again. I've also been humming the same song over and over and over again.

The past two nights she went to bed without a peep, but I'm sort of dreading tonight because that's very atypical. It has been helping though.


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## mean_jeannie (Mar 3, 2007)

Whatever you do, try to be as consistent as possible. So choose a method you are comfortable with for your family and stick with it! No matter what! I chose to have a consistent bedtime routine and it has paid off over time. As frustrated as I got at times I stuck with it and now I reap the rewards.

As pp said, try to put the babe to sleep before you think it's time. That has helped me too.

The 9 month range is a tough one. Ds started crawling around this age and got two teeth at the same time and is sleep was all out of whack. There will be these stretches of time when nothing seems to work and you _might_ be able to relate it to a developmental milestone that they are going through. Be patient, be flexible, but be consistent at the same time. Infants are much happier when they know exactly what to expect.

Now at 17 mos, ds will sometimes get fussy at the beginning of his nighttime routine because he knows what's coming - sleep! And he'd much rather be awake, kwim!









Good luck and good sleep!


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## mija y mijo (Dec 6, 2006)

One night when DS was fighting his sleep and I couldn't seem to figure out what he needed I layed him down in his crib and he settled down and went to sleep! I've found that he sleeps better by himself. It was like he just wanted to be left alone.

Some nights he falls asleep while I'm nursing him or DH is rocking him, and others (like tonight) he seems restless so I lay him in his crib and he goes to sleep. If you haven't tried the crib yet, I'd give it a shot.

Good luck!


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## jilly (Feb 14, 2005)

When babies are younger, they tend to be pretty tuned into their own needs and put those first. They eat when they are hungry and sleep when they are tired, so you can be pretty laid back. But by 8 or 9 months they start to be more aware of the world around them and themselves as a seperate being from mom. This means they are: a) busy exploring and moving and not interested in stopping to sleep and b) starting to develop seperation anxiety and most likely c) getting teeth and probably also getting close to their first crawls, words, walks, claps, etc, etc, etc. Bascially you have to start "selling" sleep to them.

This means you need to have really consistent nap and bed times for a few month to get your baby into a routine pattern of sleep. This may mean missing or rescheduling some things. And you need a really predictable bed time routine. and you need to be really boring when you get to the last stage. So for instance, with our ds2 (8 mos) we have supper, bath, pj's and then we nurse to sleep (some nights while I read to big brother, some nights by ourselves). If he is excited from the day he will roll around, pull to standing, sit down, nurse, get up again, etc, etc. So then I will try burping him, while still holding him tight and staying in the same dark room. If he doesn't have a burp and he's still not relaxing and I KNOW he's tired, I will sit up and HOLD him still while we nurse because he just can't seem to stop his body from moving. If that still doesn't work I will stay in the room and walk him until he either falls asleep or starts trying to lie down again. After a few rounds of that, sometimes I realize that he just has too much energy, and I will sit him on the floor while I fool around on the internet with a couple of very boring toys. He usually just needs to burn himself out a bit, and then he will go to sleep.

but the thing is to always start your bed time routine aroudn the same time and have actual "now we're going to sleep" time around the same time. If it doesn't always work, that's life with a baby. But eventually, most of the time, it should lead to consistent sleeping times.

Good luck.


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## Evansmama (May 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nylecoj* 
We are going through this too.

Just started putting dd (also 9 months) to bed an hour earlier than normal (6 instead of 7) and we've been really strict about her routine the past few weeks.

Now, instead of fighting it, we put her down awake, let her fuss if she needs to while we are right there patting her and comforting her, and we keep laying her down overandoverandoverandover.

I've been laying her down, letting her express her frustration and then waiting until she pulls herself up to standing before laying her down again. I've also been humming the same song over and over and over again.

The past two nights she went to bed without a peep, but I'm sort of dreading tonight because that's very atypical. It has been helping though.


I'll try that...I'll try anything at this point!


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## Evansmama (May 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nylecoj* 
We are going through this too.

Just started putting dd (also 9 months) to bed an hour earlier than normal (6 instead of 7) and we've been really strict about her routine the past few weeks.

Now, instead of fighting it, we put her down awake, let her fuss if she needs to while we are right there patting her and comforting her, and we keep laying her down overandoverandoverandover.

I've been laying her down, letting her express her frustration and then waiting until she pulls herself up to standing before laying her down again. I've also been humming the same song over and over and over again.

The past two nights she went to bed without a peep, but I'm sort of dreading tonight because that's very atypical. It has been helping though.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *jilly* 
When babies are younger, they tend to be pretty tuned into their own needs and put those first. They eat when they are hungry and sleep when they are tired, so you can be pretty laid back. But by 8 or 9 months they start to be more aware of the world around them and themselves as a seperate being from mom. This means they are: a) busy exploring and moving and not interested in stopping to sleep and b) starting to develop seperation anxiety and most likely c) getting teeth and probably also getting close to their first crawls, words, walks, claps, etc, etc, etc. Bascially you have to start "selling" sleep to them.

This means you need to have really consistent nap and bed times for a few month to get your baby into a routine pattern of sleep. This may mean missing or rescheduling some things. And you need a really predictable bed time routine. and you need to be really boring when you get to the last stage. So for instance, with our ds2 (8 mos) we have supper, bath, pj's and then we nurse to sleep (some nights while I read to big brother, some nights by ourselves). If he is excited from the day he will roll around, pull to standing, sit down, nurse, get up again, etc, etc. So then I will try burping him, while still holding him tight and staying in the same dark room. If he doesn't have a burp and he's still not relaxing and I KNOW he's tired, I will sit up and HOLD him still while we nurse because he just can't seem to stop his body from moving. If that still doesn't work I will stay in the room and walk him until he either falls asleep or starts trying to lie down again. After a few rounds of that, sometimes I realize that he just has too much energy, and I will sit him on the floor while I fool around on the internet with a couple of very boring toys. He usually just needs to burn himself out a bit, and then he will go to sleep.

but the thing is to always start your bed time routine aroudn the same time and have actual "now we're going to sleep" time around the same time. If it doesn't always work, that's life with a baby. But eventually, most of the time, it should lead to consistent sleeping times.

Good luck.

He does sometimes start to fall asleep and then he will start kicking his legs or rubbing his eyes and wake up again...sigh...it sounds like I just need to tough it out! He did just start cruising, and just popped two top teeth (the ones on either side of the middle ones) and I think he is working on the middle ones now. I really just want him to get enough sleep YNWIM?


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## nylecoj (Apr 24, 2007)

Just wanted to give a quick update. Last night, no crying again, in fact hardly any fussing. She seemed restless so I put her in her crib awake (it's side-carred but I have both sides up because she will crawl right off the bed even with bumpers) and laid down and hummed on the bed next to her.

Instead of relaxing she started babbling and playing with her feet. I figured as long as she was happy that was fine. But, I got tired of humming the song, so i stopped. I put a pillow in front of my face so she couldn't engage me in playing. After maybe 15-20 minutes she settled herself and went to sleep.

The whole process took about 30 minutes, but there was no crying and it was pretty relaxing for me.

Now, if only I could get her to stay asleep. Ergh.

Oh yeah, she can't stop moving either. Sometimes we kind of hold her down but other times it just irritates her and gets her even more worked up.


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## Evansmama (May 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nylecoj* 
Just wanted to give a quick update. Last night, no crying again, in fact hardly any fussing. She seemed restless so I put her in her crib awake (it's side-carred but I have both sides up because she will crawl right off the bed even with bumpers) and laid down and hummed on the bed next to her.

Instead of relaxing she started babbling and playing with her feet. I figured as long as she was happy that was fine. But, I got tired of humming the song, so i stopped. I put a pillow in front of my face so she couldn't engage me in playing. After maybe 15-20 minutes she settled herself and went to sleep.

The whole process took about 30 minutes, but there was no crying and it was pretty relaxing for me.

Now, if only I could get her to stay asleep. Ergh.

Oh yeah, she can't stop moving either. Sometimes we kind of hold her down but other times it just irritates her and gets her even more worked up.

I've tried to hold DS too when he won't quit moving....bad plan!







:


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## nylecoj (Apr 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evansmama* 
I've tried to hold DS too when he won't quit moving....bad plan!







:

Lately I've had some success with putting her on her tummy and giving her a back/shoulder massage.

It does take a bit of me using my arm to prevent her legs from propping her up to a crawl but as soon as she relaxes I move my arm so she knows she is laying there by her own choice. It's been helping me soothe her to sleep.


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## ladybug13 (Oct 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nylecoj* 
Just wanted to give a quick update. Last night, no crying again, in fact hardly any fussing. She seemed restless so I put her in her crib awake (it's side-carred but I have both sides up because she will crawl right off the bed even with bumpers) and laid down and hummed on the bed next to her.

Instead of relaxing she started babbling and playing with her feet. I figured as long as she was happy that was fine. But, I got tired of humming the song, so i stopped. I put a pillow in front of my face so she couldn't engage me in playing. After maybe 15-20 minutes she settled herself and went to sleep.

The whole process took about 30 minutes, but there was no crying and it was pretty relaxing for me.

Now, if only I could get her to stay asleep. Ergh.

Oh yeah, she can't stop moving either. Sometimes we kind of hold her down but other times it just irritates her and gets her even more worked up.

I'm glad to hear she went down easier. I can't really add much to what's already been shared. We stay consistent with a routine but it still takes up to an hour to get DD down at night sometimes - and not the same thing results in her falling asleep everynight. Some nights she'll fall asleep while nursing. Some nights she'll fall asleep on her own after fussing a bit. Other nights, it's patting her butt, shhh-ing or humming for her. The rough nights result in me holding and swaying/bouncing her while she wriggles and squirms (she does not always calm down for me when holding her in a cradle position) until she finally just gives into it. Those nights are rough because we both get frustrated and that is just not a good way to fall asleep. Naps are all over the board - even though I'm consistent, she is not (she's been up on the bed for over an hour now and still is not asleep though she _should_ be). I've tried to make bedtime/naptime as pleasant as possible and though she is obviously tired, we still are struggling with her to go down easily. We are contemplating moving her to her crib just to see if she likes it better as our bed is fairly soft and I think that's what causes her to wake so often at night.

Anyway, I can relate.


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