# remembering today



## MysticHealerMom (Oct 7, 2002)

Today is the day for me. This day last year, we were at the hosp delivering our stillborn angel.

I spent a lot of time thinking about him yesterday, and I didn't know I would. I don't want a day to be a bad day. Especially today.

My dh and his mom were in a car accident on mothers day. since then, they decided that mothers day was a black day to live in infamy, not to be celebrated or honored. She tends to be pretty goth about issues. He goes along because she's his mom and that's how they deal.

I said - there is no way we are going to mourn every xmas from now on. It's a festive day for family. (I also said that mothers day would now be resurrected as a day to honor moms, her included, and they agreed the moritorium could be over







: )

I don't want to be sad. I was sad yesterday and I had my own little blessingway of rememberance.

But, I wanted to honor him here and again. Today. And then accept this family day of celebration.

peace and love to you all.

and to my spirit baby where ever you may be


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## KatherineinCA (Apr 4, 2002)

MysticHealerMom:

Thank you for sharing the memory of your baby. I am glad you are able to honor your baby, and also to celebrate this day. I am sure your baby wants you to.

This is also a day of mixed emotions for me. It's been six weeks since Kevin died (I was 38 weeks pregnant). I had planned for so long to have a baby at Christmas, that of course it's hard to not have him here. But I also am enjoying my other children and their excitement. I feel that Kevin is near us and is happy to see us enjoying the day. Yesterday my BIL and SIL called to announce that she's pregnant. That brought up all my sadness at not having my baby. I'm learning that the pain surfaces at the most unexpected moments. I can be just fine, and a moment later I'm sobbing uncontrollably.

I wish for all of us a feeling of peace today,

Katherine


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## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

Thinking of you and your spirit son, MHM.

KatherineinCA--so glad you feel Kevin with you.


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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

mystichealermom and katherine, sending you both peace and healing thoughts and hugs to you both







.

peace and blessings,
Beth


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

Peace and love to you both... we were also looking forward to having Xiola here this Christmas, and I had been dreading the holidays. But somehow they have not been as awful as I had feared they would be...

XM


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## BigBelly03 (Dec 3, 2002)

MysticHealerMom, XM and Katherine, cherish the memories of your precious babies. Do not deny yourselves any of the feelings that go with remembering. Every baby we conceive brings to us a special gift, even if that baby lives with us only in spirit. So cherish those gifts from your little ones. Wishing you all peace and healing. ~~~Debbie


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## Eman'smom (Mar 19, 2002)

I think it's wonderful and important to remember our babies, I'm glad you all are doing it.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

My thought are with all of us...especially for those that are in pain or hurting. I cannot image the pain of having your child lost so close to having them in your arms.







I hope you all find peace

Megan


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## MysticHealerMom (Oct 7, 2002)

I don't know if I should clarify, since I didn't say it in the first post, that we would have expected to have him this xmas, but not last xmas, he was about 4.5months early... So, we weren't really that close and were still denied.

I appriciate what you've all said and I'm sorry for your loses, as well.

Someone told me that the "day" would be hard, and I can't really remember what day he was supposed to be here, but I'm sure I'll figure it out because we haven't gotten to that day, either. I experienced a lot of different emotions, and let myself do a lot of thinking, pining, mouring, crying, cursing, planning and everything else. I let the emotions wash over me, I didn't let anyone tell me what was the right thing to feel and never thought something was wrong to feel. And yet, on that day, I still wanted to remember him. And while I was grudgingly thinking to myself, well I don't need to do that - when it came, I let it. And I wanted to make an outward statement, as well.

thanks for sharing my rememberance of him.

namaste

Lori


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