# "Put baby down drowsy but awake"



## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Does this work? Is it worth even trying it? Does it help babies learn to get themselves to sleep, or is it just a lot of unecessary work?
(I'm thinking for nap time, not overnight)

I think my youngest ds (almost 3 weeks old) *might* occasionally be ok going to sleep if I put him down "drowsy but awake." But it seems like a PITA, when nursing to sleep is so easy, kwim? I'm sure he wouldn't just fall asleep *every* time, so it would be a lot of putting him down and picking him back up.

But...I really want to avoid the neediness of my first ds, who HAD to nurse to sleep every single time until he was *well* over 2yo. Putting him down "drowsy but awake" was never an option- he screamed the instant he touched any flat surface when he was an infant!

So, is it worth trying, or should I just continue to be lazy? lol


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

I put my kid down awake now, but... he's two and change. At three weeks, we were absolutely nursing to sleep, and continued to do so for quite some time. We really didn't get into putting him down awake until the last six months or so. There was a long, slow process that started with waiting until he was asleep to put him down, then acknowledging that he would wake up when moved and need a hand on his back or belly for a few minutes, then less time with the hand, to now, when we have a kid who requests backrubs. All changes had to be made gradually. Any attempt to cut the routine short at any stage has always resulted in yelling, screaming, and a lot of going back in to start the whole thing over.

In other words, yes, the whole "drowsy but awake" thing can be exactly the kind of PITA you describe.

I think a lot of the neediness you talk about with your first is a matter of personality, not parenting. Some babies are more intense, higher needs, individuals than others. We do what we can, but there is no secret bedtime trick in the world that's going to override the way the child just IS.


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## stik (Dec 3, 2003)

My $.02 - don't worry about awake, or drowsy, or actually sleeping. They change so fast, and with a tiny little, it can be hard to catch the right stage. Try to establish a routine, so the child eventually learns to predict when adults will meet demonstrated needs but not be entertaining.

Three weeks is too young to do much except see what seems to work. It won't hurt to put the baby down awake or drowsy sometimes to see what happens. Some babies drift off and some scream like banshees.


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## eclipse (Mar 13, 2003)

With my first son, I laughed hysterically everytime I heard this recommendation. For him, it was ridiculous. He would be screaming as soon as I set him down if he was drowsy. He wanted to be held and nurse until he was asleep. Trying to put him down drowsy would be a sure fire way to ensure hours of sleeplessness and crying on both our parts. DD, however, was an odd ball. She actually was that mythical baby that you could put down awake (she preferred it, actually) and she would just drift off to sleep, or would whine a few seconds before conking out. FTR, I have known almost no one who has had an infant that they could lay down drowsy and would go to sleep without crying. I guess maybe some babies who use pacifiers or suck thumbs might be able to do it somewhat easily (dd was a thumb/hand sucker and she often sucked to sleep by herself). I think mostly it's a pipe dream, unless you're willing to let your baby cry. I don't think it would hurt to give it a shot, though. I tried with ds2, and he didn't go for it either.


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## maxwill129 (May 12, 2005)

I understand not wanting a needy child (believe me, I've been there too, with my last child!) but I think it is too soon to worry about your babe falling into "bad" habits. I was getting nervous about this babe (4 weeks old) and needing to be held all the time, but then I realized that that's what babies need, and I think a lot of babies also need help falling asleep. For now, just enjoy being able to nurse him to sleep.

I hope this is not wrong advice (you can wring my neck later if your babe turns too needy!).


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## MLA (May 22, 2008)

Honestly? If your son will fall asleep on his own without nursing, I say do it. When my DS was very small (up until about 3 mos), I was able to swaddle him and plop him into his bassinet, and he'd fall asleep on his own with a bit of me "shaking" the bassinet. Well, I got tired of sitting there shaking the bassinet when I put him down and started to just nurse him to sleep. Now he's nearly 10 months old and will only fall asleep nursing (or in the car). I don't know if this would have happened, anyway, but I wish I'd kept letting him fall asleep on his own when he could because maybe now I'd have a baby who didn't need to nurse to sleep.

Just my $.02


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

This worked REALLY well with my son, but at 3 weeksish he was still nursing constantly- we didn't move to this until about 4 months (at least not consistently.) I now have a little boy (12 months) who is perfectly capable of being put to bed after nursing or reading a book, and who is content to let himself fall asleep. It's amazing.

fwiw- dd was not like that- but I also didn't start putting her to bed on her own at any point, and she had to be nursed to sleep well past age 3.....


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

The experts that suggest that normally are those that stauntchly advocate CIO. The reason that the baby is put down drowsy while awake is so that the baby will HAVE to CIO. It is a given that the baby will CIO because the parent is no longer present, and the baby cannot see his parent. Once the baby has CIO-ed to the point of giving up because he realizes that the parent will not respond, then the experts feel that the method has worked, as the crying for mommy at bedtime is extinguished. Baby feels it is no use, hence he is trained to not cry out. He is trained very well in deed.

My advice to you:

Just keep on being lazy. It is the better way to go with youu and your baby. And congradulations on your new babe by the way.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MeepyCat* 
I think a lot of the neediness you talk about with your first is a matter of personality, not parenting. Some babies are more intense, higher needs, individuals than others. We do what we can, but there is no secret bedtime trick in the world that's going to override the way the child just IS.

Yeah, I think that's true for him. He was definitely a high need baby from the very first day! Like a pp said- the whole "drowsy but awake" thing made me laugh hysterically when he was a baby (and toddler...and preschooler).
But he was a dream of a toddler and preschooler discipline-wise, so it more than made up for it









But this baby...there's definitely a chance he'll be much different. He already allows me to put him down for an hour or two a day! And if I put him down, and he doesn't want to be down, he just fusses a little bit (and we pick him up right away, of course). It doesn't sound like he's totally traumatized like ds1 sounded within seconds of being put down!!

Ok, so I don't *need* to start trying now, from what it sounds like. I have a couple months of the easy way out


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## MLA (May 22, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Deer Hunter* 
The experts that suggest that normally are those that stauntchly advocate CIO. *The reason that the baby is put down drowsy while awake is so that the baby will HAVE to CIO*. It is a given that the baby will CIO because the parent is no longer present, and the baby cannot see his parent. Once the baby has CIO-ed to the point of giving up because he realizes that the parent will not respond, then the experts feel that the method has worked, as the crying for mommy at bedtime is extinguished. Baby feels it is no use, hence he is trained to not cry out. He is trained very well in deed.

That's NOT true. Sure for some babies (maybe even most babies), being put down drowsy but awake will lead to crying. But not for all. My son did not cry when we did this before I got "lazy" and just breastfed. Sometimes he would fuss a bit -- and I mean maybe 45 seconds to a minute of fussing, not crying. And he'd often kick his legs. But he kicked his legs while nursing to sleep, too -- it was (and still is) part of his winding down mechanism. You simply can't make a blanket statement about this. Every baby is different.


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## MeepyCat (Oct 11, 2006)

ITA with MLA here. The experts I have read on the "drowsy but awake" recommendation don't even necessarily recommend that the parent leave the room, just that the parent put the baby down, in the hopes that babe will learn to fall asleep when not held close to someone's body. The idea is to break the association between nursing, cuddling and sleep (or to prevent the child from forming it, but that seems pretty unlikely to me), not to make the baby CIO.


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## luckygreen713 (Apr 9, 2008)

I think it really depends on the baby. Both of my babies were unable to fall asleep on their own. My 3yo just started going to sleep by herself at 2.5yo. My 17mo still needs me to lay with her or hold her as she falls asleep. I don't see it ending anytime soon. When they were tiny, both of my girls, especialy my older one would SCREAM the second I tried to lay her down. My older one couldn't even be layed down once she was ASLEEP, so trying while she was drowsy but awake was an absolute nightmare for everyone involved. I literally held/wore her for 11 months straight. My younger dd was a little easier, she has always let me lay her down once she's asleep. I really think it depends on the particular baby, some are needier than others. I have one relatively needy one and one extremely needy one, so I don't know a whole lot about laid-back little ones. If I were you, I'd just respond to your baby's individual need and do what's easiest for you and your family. If nursing to sleep is easier, do it until you're both ready to try a different way to go to sleep.


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## Deer Hunter (Sep 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MLA* 
That's NOT true. Sure for some babies (maybe even most babies), being put down drowsy but awake will lead to crying. But not for all. My son did not cry when we did this before I got "lazy" and just breastfed. Sometimes he would fuss a bit -- and I mean maybe 45 seconds to a minute of fussing, not crying. And he'd often kick his legs. But he kicked his legs while nursing to sleep, too -- it was (and still is) part of his winding down mechanism. You simply can't make a blanket statement about this. Every baby is different.

Yeah, you are right in that every baby is different. i've only met one in my lifetime that could just go with the flow and not cry at all. It is my friend's son. I thought something was the matter with him, but it just turns out that he is the type that is so layed back he does not care. He is the ONLY one I know, as most babies I know and have dealt with DEFINITELY would cry if subjected to this.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

I've never done it. Every baby was rocked for every nap and every bedtime.

And I assure you my 15 year old does not need my help falling asleep.

Nope, none of my babes were ever left to fall asleep without me. Not once.


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## aprildawn (Apr 1, 2004)

Worked for my first. Didn't work for my second.

With DD1 it was so nice to be able to nurse her, put her down drowsy, and walk away to have the rest of the naptime or evening. She was an easy sleeper and spoiled me rotten! DD2 took forever to even get to sleep, then we couldn't put her down or we'd have to start all over again.


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## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

It worked for us, starting around 3 months. I was really surprised but DD LOVED her crib. I think she was actually more comfy there than in my arms. If I put her down she would kind of splay out her arms and legs and smile and rock back and forth--she was clearly quite happy. I would play the mobile and she would go right to sleep.

I also used to lay her in the crib with the mobile in the afternoons sometimes, while I folded laundry or tidied up in her room, before she actually slept in there. My thought was to make the crib just another place in the house where she was comfy. And if she ever did wake up and cry, I would go right in to her. But honestly, most of the time she was pretty content to just relax.

She was a very easygoing baby--you might have one too! If you try, and it doesn't work out, do something else.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Some kids it just won;'t ever work with. A high needs baby will NOT allow you to just put them down drowsy. They're just wired differently.

And I don't think the "Put em down drowsy" books are talking about 3 week olds.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

I only had one "high needs" baby, but frankly, I never even TRIED to put one down awake or drowsy. I wanted my face to be what they saw when they went to dreamland. I have no idea if it would have worked - but I also had no _desire_ to know if it would've.

I will be rocking my 18 month old to sleep here in a few hours, and I can't wait!


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

DD1 had to be rocked to sleep/nursed/bounced everysingle night. Putting her down drowsey would not work at all. DD2 (who is 11 weeks) can be put down drowsey and will go to sleep on her own...she can even be put in her bassinett somewhat awake at night when we get in bed and she will chillax and look at her toys until she falls asleep. She is a dream and has STTN since she was 4 weeks old.
Every child is different....IMO you should try to see if your LO is able to go to sleep on their own. If they do...that's great.


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## Quate (Oct 24, 2007)

We've had some success with this now that DD is around 8 weeks, as long as she's swaddled. Although DD has never been able to nurse to sleep, and since about 2 weeks, if we rock her to sleep, we still have to wait at least half an hour or so to put her down, and even then, it usually has to be around midnight for it to stick. (During the day, there's almost no chance of transferring her once she's asleep if we want her to stay that way. But if she falls asleep in, say, her carseat, then there's a good chance that she'll finish out a nap there.) We did spend a week or so where we spent long periods of time patting/massaging/singing/shushing/whatever worked with her down to help her relax, picking her up again if need be, and that seems to have helped her a lot in terms of figuring it out on her own.


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

Every baby is different and I really think it depends on their personality.

Ds1, no way would that fly. Was nursed to sleep for every nap and at night for 2.5 years.
Ds2, I put him down in our bed while I get my pj's on and he's asleep in 2 minutes without nursing to sleep. It works more at night then in the day time.


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## Down2Earth (Jan 23, 2008)

Follow your baby's lead. As others have said, all babies are different. My DD would not let us put her down to sleep. Ever. Seriously. Even at the hospital she demanded to sleep in our arms. Putting her in the bassinet was a huge ordeal. Once I figured out how to co-sleep and nurse lying down, my life got much easier. Now if I want her to nap alone, I nurse lying down and sneak away when she is asleep.

(I say this while 8 mo DD naps in my arms.







)


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *_betsy_* 
And I don't think the "Put em down drowsy" books are talking about 3 week olds.

probably not but ironically this was the age when i COULD leave DD awake and she'd just nod off on her own--no crying at all. that quickly changed when she was about 2 months old, and she had to be nursed to sleep and held for all of her naps for a couple months.


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## mommysarah5 (Jun 22, 2009)

I wouldn't make an extra effort to do it, but I wouldn't avoid it either. If you have the chance to put down drowsy but awake and they are hapy to go right to bed, why not?


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## merebella (Jan 5, 2008)

DS would not do this at 3 weeks, or would be okay for a few minutes, then act like, "Hey! Where'd you go?" So he was rocked and held for all his naps until around 4 months. We borrowed an amby bed from a friend, and with a little coaxing and help (going back in to shush or pat, or rebinky and tell him "nigh-nigh" if he started complaining) he learned to do it (without cio). Now, I can put him down awake, and he likes to look around for a bit, then after a while, will turn his head and close his eyes. This is usually without and protest at all. This did not work for the first 3-4 months. I think having the amby helped, but being older helped, too, imo. After a while of this going on for naps, he was able to do it for night time, too, with usually only one time going back in to say nigh-night and give his binky.


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## lness (Jul 14, 2009)

Doesn't work for us at 4 months, and never has. I nurse her to sleep in our bed, then move her to the bedside sleeper once she's out. (Except if I fall asleep first, she sleeps with us all night.) She'll sleep a few hours on her own this way, but not at all if I put her down when she's aware of it.


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## Theoretica (Feb 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eclipse* 
With my first son, I laughed hysterically everytime I heard this recommendation. For him, it was ridiculous. He would be screaming as soon as I set him down if he was drowsy. He wanted to be held and nurse until he was asleep. Trying to put him down drowsy would be a sure fire way to ensure hours of sleeplessness and crying on both our parts. DD, however, was an odd ball. She actually was that mythical baby that you could put down awake (she preferred it, actually) and she would just drift off to sleep, or would whine a few seconds before conking out. FTR, I have known almost no one who has had an infant that they could lay down drowsy and would go to sleep without crying. I guess maybe some babies who use pacifiers or suck thumbs might be able to do it somewhat easily (dd was a thumb/hand sucker and she often sucked to sleep by herself). I think mostly it's a pipe dream, unless you're willing to let your baby cry. I don't think it would hurt to give it a shot, though. I tried with ds2, and he didn't go for it either.

This was me. Laughing hysterically at the idea of putting my (now 15moBBdd) down 'drowsy'. Ahem. Never happened.

I hear though that some people have such children. Must be nice. My kids won't go to sleep without daboob!


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## Birdie B. (Jan 14, 2008)

Works for us! Once Meadow was around 3 months old, she started sleeping so well! And we've co-slept, nursed, swaddled, rocked etc, since she was born - no crib, no crying. It just works. If it didn't, I don't know how hard I would try, because I'm lazy









But there's NOTHING wrong with it - if you want to hold/nurse your baby to sleep every.single.night for 2-3 years, good for you, but not all of us want that! And my baby goes to sleep when she's sleepy, whether she's in my arms or the bed (or the car, or someone else's arms...) She's easy, she goes to sleep with Dada, my mom, or me.

I nurse her in bed, but she never falls asleep that way - she unlatches when she's full, then rolls around/twists/kicks until she falls asleep about 5-10 minutes later. I usually stay with her and cuddle, but sometimes I don't, and a lot of times her dad cuddles her. It works - but it might not work for everyone.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Birdie B.* 
And my baby goes to sleep when she's sleepy, whether she's in my arms or the bed (or the car, or someone else's arms...) She's easy, she goes to sleep with Dada, my mom, or me.

That's one of the biggest reasons I hope this works. There were a couple times with Ds1 that, for whatever reason, *I* couldn't be the one to put him to sleep. And it was really rough on everyone. (This would have been when he was older- certainly over 1 or 2yo).
It's worth the work now to keep ds2 from getting that upset in the future. IF it works without him getting upset now, of course







.


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## ReadingRenee (Aug 8, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeliphish* 
DD1 had to be rocked to sleep/nursed/bounced everysingle night. Putting her down drowsey would not work at all. DD2 (who is 11 weeks) can be put down drowsey and will go to sleep on her own...she can even be put in her bassinett somewhat awake at night when we get in bed and she will chillax and look at her toys until she falls asleep. She is a dream and has STTN since she was 4 weeks old.
Every child is different....IMO you should try to see if your LO is able to go to sleep on their own. If they do...that's great.

This is pretty much my exact situation. Its been pretty weird for me but oh so nice. I think its just a difference in babes. And for the person who said that CIO advocates recommend putting them down drowsy but awake, that may be true but I just read Dr. Sears sleep book and HE advocates putting them down drowsy but awake a couple times a week just to see if it it works and to try to let them learn to sleep without you.


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DevaMajka* 
Does this work? Is it worth even trying it? Does it help babies learn to get themselves to sleep, or is it just a lot of unecessary work?
(I'm thinking for nap time, not overnight)

I think my youngest ds (almost 3 weeks old) *might* occasionally be ok going to sleep if I put him down "drowsy but awake." But it seems like a PITA, when nursing to sleep is so easy, kwim? I'm sure he wouldn't just fall asleep *every* time, so it would be a lot of putting him down and picking him back up.

But...I really want to avoid the neediness of my first ds, who HAD to nurse to sleep every single time until he was *well* over 2yo. Putting him down "drowsy but awake" was never an option- he screamed the instant he touched any flat surface when he was an infant!

So, is it worth trying, or should I just continue to be lazy? lol

Sorry never worked for me.

I can barely put her down when she passes the 'dead man' test (pick their arm up and let go, if it drops they are asleep).


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## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

I could put DS down drowsy from around 4 months until he was a year and he fell right asleep by himself. He's two now and has needed to be rocked to sleep every night for the past year. Sometimes I wish I could put him down awake again but I know I will miss rocking him when he gets older.


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## just_lily (Feb 29, 2008)

All babies are definitely different, but this actually works in my house. I think it helped that when my babe was a newborn she slept in a Pack N Play in our room with a bassinet attachment that had a vibration feature. I would put her in there, turn on the "Vibro-Bed" and she would nod off to sleep.

We eventually weaned her off the vibration but just allowing the batteries to run out and the vibration got weaker and weaker until it didn't go anymore, and then eventually transferred her to her crib.

Now at 12 months I put her in her crib with her soother and her lovey, and leave the room. About 90% of the time she goes right to sleep without a fuss. I HAVE to actually leave the room.... staying in there is too stimulating for her and she wants to get up.

Now this all came about by following my baby's cues and doing what worked for her. At 3 weeks, just do what makes you the least crazy, and put any thoughts of "bad habits" out of your head.


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## sleet76 (Jun 2, 2004)

Hey, it's worth a try! I personally know a few babies who did this, easily and often. One of my three did it occasionally, and I'm glad I gave him a try at it fairly regularly, as he is a great sleeper, and slept through the night well, from a fairly young age. My other two kids....not so much! Actually, not at all for quite a while. But if the baby is comfortable with it, why not? That may be how he/she sleeps the best. They are SO not all the same.


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## inkslinger (May 29, 2009)

This is what worked for us with dd2. dd1 needed constant contact with me in order to sleep but dd2 was always more independent. She liked to sleep on her own, no matter how much I wanted to co-sleep!


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## hempmama (Dec 16, 2004)

I would absolutely give it a shot. I have one baby who did this (and two who never, ever, ever would consider it), and it is more than worth the hassle. She's 11 months now, has never CIO'd, and generally just has to be tucked in with her dolly before she rolls over and falls asleep. Occasionally if we miss the bedtime window and put her down too late, she needs to be rocked down, but the whole thing is pure heaven compared to the endless hours of nursing and bouncing and careful-careful-careful transferring to a bed from my first two.

I wouldn't really expect it to work, though. Mostly it doesn't. But if it does, it's so great, isn't it? And I do think they can (but don't always) form sleep habits pretty young.


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## LadyCatherine185 (Aug 12, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *claddaghmom* 
Sorry never worked for me.

I can barely put her down when she passes the 'dead man' test (pick their arm up and let go, if it drops they are asleep).









:

this is why we could never use the crib. if you try to put him down when he's asleep, he wakes back up. side-lying nursing is the only way he will STAY asleep.


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## flower16 (Jun 2, 2009)

Drowsy but awake was a joke for my Dd. The minute she left my arms she was awake! In fact, I could not even put her down for naps until she was 6 months old, no way, no how. But I will say this, if your baby is the type that can be put down drowsy but awake then by all means do it! I read once to imagine how you would like things to be at a later date, would you like your baby to nap independently, et... and to try slowly and gently to make this happen from the beginning. Because I will tell you, as enjoyable as holding your baby 24/7 is, there are days I needed a nap!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

No idea, but I've never tried it and Lina has voluntarily stopped nursing on occasion to lay quietly for a minute or two before drifting off.

Yet another thing where it works for babies who will do it naturally and someone makes money claiming it should work for all babies.

I also never tried sitting her down and she demanded to be set down to play around 4 months, but is wanting to be held all the time again this month.

Never X or they'll Y
and
Always X or they won't Y
utter BS so if it's more work, don't bother

and anyone who claims development is linear (sleep time, nursing sessions, talking, weight, etc) doesn't know enough about babies/children to be giving advice.


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## OGirlieMama (Aug 6, 2006)

It might work, it might not. You never know. Try it - put baby down, drowsy but awake. If baby lies there and goes to sleep, it worked. If baby cries, it didn't work - pick baby up. Pretty easy theory to test.


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## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

OP- yes I think it does work for some babies. Ds1 nursed to sleep until he weaned around 17 months.
Ds2 was a whole new ball of wax. I spent the majority of my time trying to get him to sleep as a small babe. I nursed, I bounced, I rocked, I shushed. Finally at around 5 months I was at the end of the AP rope. One day I layed him down in the crib because I just could not do it anymore. No crying, no fussing, he went straight to sleep. All he wanted was for me to leave him alone. He is 13 months now and requires dark, quiet and being alone to fall asleep. He still will not fall asleep in my arms or if I am in the room.
Weird kid....









I was so blinded by "being an Attached parent" I completely missed his need to be left alone to go to sleep.


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