# Neighbor called the cops on me- VENT



## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

This happened this morning. It is long. Sorry in advance as I am crying here and freaking out.

So I have two boys, 4 and 2.5. I have a very large backyard which they like to ride their trikes around and so in the morning I go out with them and have my coffee and read the paper. They are playing and the day before my 2.5 year old had opened the back gate and ran off. In the back of the yard is a gate to the alleyway where we keep the garbage. So after that event, I put on a big lock high up.

So I am reading the paper, not worried about my kids opening the gate because of the new lock I put on it when my 4 year old tells me the 2.5 year old opened the gate (which he knows is a big no-no). I see that the gate is open and my dog and my baby are missing. I am in my nightie.

I run to the backyard and look out and don't see him, I am calling for him loudly from the instant my son told me. I see a man at the corner of the alley and street on a cellphone and I ask if he has seen my son. He said he went that way and pointed and then followed my son. I am running when a woman with a baby yells at me that this is the second time and she is calling the police (is on the phone that moment) and the man who was on the phone was her husband who was also calling the police.

What really gets me is that they are so busy calling the cops that the idea that maybe they should try to get my son escapes them?? They are so worried they just let him run past? My son got scared of the husband following him and ran into the house.

The only thing I said to the woman who yelled at me that this is the second time yada yada is, "I know!". I mean, duh.

Why they wouldn't talk to me first is beyond me. Why they wouldn't help but rather call the police is beyond me. After I got the kids together I fixed the gate with large rocks so nobody can open it. I have no idea what to do with the garbage, but whatever.

I am crying here because now I get to deal with CPS BS. Awesome. I have a runner. I thought it was secure. I don't like him running out and it gives me a freakin heart attack. I am watching them, but that kid is sneaky and fast. He is the epitome of a runner.

I just had to vent. I am sure everything will be fine and am not worried. Things happen. But it just upsets me that while in distress running after my son I get to hear that now the cops are coming. Awesome.

Dear fellow mama neighbor,

I see that you only have an infant and that you are probably so sure nothing like this will ever happen to you. But the sad fact is that kids are unpredictable and we do everything we can to make sure they are safe. It saddens me that instead of talking to me and working with me to find a solution (I would love some advise and help) you chose to have me persecuted by the police. I hope that if anything happens with your babe that I will be strong and wise enough to be there for you and help you.

Sincerely,
Purplemoon


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## Amila (Apr 4, 2006)

That SUCKS. I am sorry you are dealing with that. We were recently setting up for a yard sale and had a bunch of stuff in the middle of our lawn, and it was me, Dh, and both of his parents when suddenly my DD (3) went missing. It was terrifying! we were searching for her and screaming for like 5-10 minutes. About SIX of our neighbors came out to help us. Everyone was running in separate directions, looking for her. Turns out she was hiding- in the middle of the yard- under a comfortor







: I could have wrung her neck, but gave her a huge tearful hug instead. I can't imagine how I would feel if someone called the cops on us! We were frantic as it was. I would definitely confront this neighbor.


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## 3 little birds (Nov 19, 2001)

I am so sorry mama. Your neighbors overeacted. In a few years they will realize it.


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

Why would CPS come if she called the cops? Wouldnt the cops come out and you tell them what happened and then they shrug and leave because the whole situation is ridiculous?????????????


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## Madders (Jul 15, 2009)

I'm sorry. If they are so concerned for your sons safety, why not grab him as he's running by and bring him back to you?

Have the police contacted you?


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

I'm hoping the cops just come and I explain and they move on. Most certainly that is what will happen. And seriously, all the concern they had for my son as they let him run by....







:.

But now I wonder, do I sit here and wait? Do I go about my plans for the day? Do I get to sit and wonder if they will come or not? Fun.

I am hoping that the dispatcher or whatever heard me (I was yelling for my son in my mommy is terrified and I can break glass with this yell) and thought, oh good the mom is there, goodbye.

I am just ticked my neighbors happen to suck. First time meeting them and I don't think we will be hanging out anytime soon.









Oh, and the police take approximately 45 minutes to get anywhere (I know because there was a man threatening to kill a grocer because foodstamps wouldn't buy alcohol and it took an hour). So I should know soon if I can just tell my story and move on.


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## mommysarah5 (Jun 22, 2009)

im so sorry. She could have offered advise, but calling the cops and not doing anything to help in the moment... it seems like she just wanted to get on her high horse and feel superior or something.


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## Evergreen (Nov 6, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
Why would CPS come if she called the cops? Wouldnt the cops come out and you tell them what happened and then they shrug and leave because the whole situation is ridiculous?????????????

I am hoping and betting that this is what happens. If for some reason CPS shows up tell them what happened- they'll move on too.

If you saw a two year old running down the street would you just say, "he went that way?" Seriously? he knew that the child was yours and he still let him run away. I would have attempted to return him. I hope they get twin runners next time.


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## HeatherRenee (Apr 3, 2009)

I don't think CPS would be involved after the police come and find out what really happened. Guess what? Kids are curious.. they are going to try to go places they KNOW they are not allowed. The fact that you are right there and not off doing your own thing is proof enough that you ARE watching out for the kids.

I'd say, wait for an hour and a half, and if the cops don't show up by then, it wasn't important enough, and just get on with your day. Next time you see your neighbors, wave and tell them "thank you so much for all of your help with my son running away." and leave it at that.. They can take it any way they want. I am shocked that they just let him run by and instead made phone calls. it was only the 2nd time right? I would have been more concerned if it was like a weekly occurance or something. Sometimes people now days just baffle me...

I'm glad your son is ok. How did he get the gate open with the lock on it??? LOL.. you got a little escape artist on your hands.


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## BAU3 (Dec 10, 2001)

I think you should let them both know that you can only asume that they would want the same thing done to them if they were in that situation, so you will be sure to keep an eagle eye out as their child grows and spreads his/her wings.

Maybe you could let them know what YOU would have done in such a situation and ask why it didn't occur to them to react in a helpful way?(just out of curiosity?)


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

What happened is neither illegal or neglect. Your neighbors are idiots, and if CPS does get involved, they will quickly end the case.

Ridiculous.


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## larkish (Oct 5, 2006)

How frustrating!


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

UPDATE

Cops came. I talked to the lady cop and she wanted to see the house. She said it was fine (it was messy a bit but good enough).

She has to file a report with CPS but thinks they won't investigate. But they may.

I am so pissed I am crying.


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

oh i am so sorry









for what it's worth, a police officer once found my 3 year old nephew outside in his front yard at around 10pm, and nothing bad happened to his parents.
i am sure that if an officer even comes (which i doubt) they will see that you put a lock on the gate and made an effort to keep your child safe and that will be the end of it.

edit: oops i cross posted with you.


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## samstress (Feb 21, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
What really gets me is that they are so busy calling the cops that the idea that maybe they should try to get my son escapes them?? They are so worried they just let him run past?

this is what is most frustrating. people are morons. so quick to report, but so slow to act and just help the child (and you).

so sorry this happened to you.


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## elisent (May 30, 2006)

Do you think that maybe because you were in your nightgown they thought you had been sleeping when your son got out?

I'm sure if you just show CPS the back yard and the lock they will understand. They have much bigger things to worry about.


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## ChristyMarie (May 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Evergreen* 
If you saw a two year old running down the street would you just say, "he went that way?" Seriously? he knew that the child was yours and he still let him run away. I would have attempted to return him. I hope they get twin runners next time.









Seriously. Who watches a toddler run by, watches mom frantically chasing and stands there talking on the phone to the cops? What is wrong with people?







:

Just wait until theirs is mobile. That's all I have to say.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elisent* 
Do you think that maybe because you were in your nightgown they thought you had been sleeping when your son got out?

I'm sure if you just show CPS the back yard and the lock they will understand. They have much bigger things to worry about.

Hmm....maybe. Also they reported how my son was half naked. He's always half naked outside because he is being potty trained.

The cop was very nice. I was scared to let her inside when she asked but I did and she checked their room, the living room and the kitchen and fridge. She said she would put all of that down in her report to CPS so she thinks that it will be more likely they won't follow up. As in, she did what they would do and everything is kosher.

But I am having to work very hard on not hating my neighbors right about now. Very hard.


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## moobiegirl (Sep 10, 2007)

I had something similar happen to me today too.

We live next door to a pizza shop. It gets really busy at lunch time. We walked over there to get a slice of pizza. Ds ran out the door. Two cops sitting at a table eating sees him run out and yells "he's out the door". Three adults were holding the door open. The one in the front yells back at me "do you want him out here?" I say "NO", but really I'm thinking why would I want a 2 year old running out into a parking lot unsuprivised? Then he runs up some steps to a second story deck. A teenager tells me that he can't go up there. I say to him that he can't go anywhere up there and he'll come down faster than I can get to him so I'm just gonna wait for him to come down. Now mind you I am 39 weeks pregnant and can not run after a 2 year old, but no one will help me stop him from running. They all must think it's funny to watch a very pregnant lady chase a toddler.

I know how frustrating having a runner can be.


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## *~Danielle~* (Mar 27, 2005)

I am so sorry this is happening and now there is bad blood between you and your neighbors. If they saw your son getting out, they should have helped you and not called the cops. Stuff happens, and you were dealing with it. You tried a lock...now the rocks. You are taking care of business.

Unfortunately they will not understand your situation until their infant is a bit older. Stuff happens. To all of us and our kids. Hugs.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elisent* 
Do you think that maybe because you were in your nightgown they thought you had been sleeping when your son got out?

I'm sure if you just show CPS the back yard and the lock they will understand. They have much bigger things to worry about.

I'm in my nightwear all day long, if I have nowhere to go. I'm lazy like that.









It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Called dh about it. He is not pleased with the neighbors and wonders what is wrong with them that they wouldn't help. It was so embarassing running and screetching for my son with my nightie that barely covers and they just glared at me. Who does that? UGH! Now I get to wait for CPS. What a great week. I don't even want to tell my friends and family.









Thanks to everyone listening. It means a lot.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

You didn't deserve that. I hope you don't feel ashamed. It's the neighbors who should feel ashamed of their actions. I believe I would be tempted to write a letter letting them know that their actions were hurtful and un-neighborly and essentially, everything that's wrong in the world today. I'd keep it short and simple. I wouldn't justify or anything.

"Your action today while my son was lost was very hurtful and un-neighborly. I hope it never happens to you. I was taught that the people who were your neighbors would be the people that you would hope could help you in time of need. I'm ashamed of your behavior."

It might be corny and they might care less, but I'd get it out and send them a letter.

And know that Karma's a beyotch.LOL









Lisa


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## Quinalla (May 23, 2005)

Wow, that sucks, I'm sorry







If they really felt they had to call the cops, fine, but geez help keep the kid safe first







That's just such backwards thinking on their parts. And kids can and do get away, no matter what precautions are taken, that's just life and I'm sorry your neighboors don't understand that.


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## kalimay (May 25, 2005)

"It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal."

I would be careful expressing this mentality. I think CPS can deem many things as neglectful that are not necessarily illegal.

Also, I am not wanting to defend you neighbor but is it possible they were inside and saw your son run by and he came out after him at the same time you did?


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## doubledutch (Oct 23, 2007)

i'm so sorry. your neighbors are ridiculous. my ds1 was the same way last summer, approaching 3 years old, when we had just moved into a new neighborhood. luckily, we have kind and understanding neighbors. this year, ds is almost 4, understands more about safety and has better impulse control - so hopefully this will be a short phase for your little guy too.

as for not wanting to tell family and friends, i understand that, because i felt guilty, scared and ashamed. the first time he got out, i barely slept for days because i was so nervous (and cps never even got involved - i was just worried someone would report it). i really recommend talking to at least a couple people close to you. it will be reassuring to know you have someone irl on your side, supporting you and ready to back you up as a great mom.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kalimay* 
"It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal."

I would be careful expressing this mentality. I think CPS can deem many things as neglectful that are not necessarily illegal.

Also, I am not wanting to defend you neighbor but is it possible they were inside and saw your son run by and he came out after him at the same time you did?

It may be that is what happened, but he was closer to him either way and did nothing. My dh said if they wanted to call the police fine, but grab the kid first! I am going to find a way to calm down this week (I am more than upset) and talk to them succinctly about what happened.

I know the cop was looking for signs of neglect. Luckily, everything was fine. Also, just to let people know I had a basket of clean laundry on the couch, toys were all over the floor in my sons room and I had a couple dirty dishes and she deemed it more than fit. It's the icky stuff they care about, so if anyone wonders, it doesn't have to be spotless.

They were concerned I was just doing my thing with the kids doing theirs and me being neglectful. I understand the concern, but would have rather had the neighbors talk to me about it. I would have loved her husband (partner) to help me with the gate. But, no.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *doubledutch* 
i'm so sorry. your neighbors are ridiculous. my ds1 was the same way last summer, approaching 3 years old, when we had just moved into a new neighborhood. luckily, we have kind and understanding neighbors. this year, ds is almost 4, understands more about safety and has better impulse control - so hopefully this will be a short phase for your little guy too.

as for not wanting to tell family and friends, i understand that, because i felt guilty, scared and ashamed. the first time he got out, i barely slept for days because i was so nervous (and cps never even got involved - i was just worried someone would report it). i really recommend talking to at least a couple people close to you. it will be reassuring to know you have someone irl on your side, supporting you and ready to back you up as a great mom.

I called my mom and she made me feel a lot better. I am hoping to not be a crying mess when I call my MIL who I am close to.


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## Katsmamajama (Jun 24, 2009)

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that this morning!









DD did stuff like that to me before. She bolted one time while I was in the bathroom, thankfully only to the swingset in the back yard, but it was still scary. And then the one apartment we were at, I had a little herb garden on a cart out on our porch/stairwell, and I went out to water it-- she slammed the door and managed to lock it on me. The only way in/out of our apartment, and she was stuck inside. I had to run barefoot the 2 blocks (roughly) to the manager's office to get the door unlocked-- and put on my shoes, snatched up my child, and went to Lowe's (the closest store) for childproofing doorknob covers. Love my child, but she's hell on my heart!

Hopefully CPS sees it for what it really is: An adventurous child who escaped in the blink of an eye, and is very well taken care of by a caring mama.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

I am so sorry this is happening to you. When my dd was 2.5 dh and I were doing something in the back yard and she wandered down to the front sidewalk and was in front of the next door neighbor's house. A lady driving by stopped, picked her up and called the cops. Of course her shoe had come off at that point.

I was already looking just after the police got there. He took my name and number and while he wasn't overly "this is fine" he did say "These things happen".

It was a huge lesson for me but they didn't notify CPS or anything. Don't be suprised if CPS doesn't contact you. I certainly hope you are left alone.


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## Madders (Jul 15, 2009)

Why exactly would they check your fridge for something as simple as your child running away? I was under the impression they needed a neglect complaint or something to walk through the house.


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## YouKnowMe (Feb 7, 2008)

I am so sorry!!!

Moobie, I am sooooooooo sorry!!!

I have never understood that: why do adults hold the door open for toddlers in the first place? We have had that happen so often! What are they thinking?!


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kalimay* 
"It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal."

I would be careful expressing this mentality. I think CPS can deem many things as neglectful that are not necessarily illegal.

I don't even see that as irresponsible, let alone neglectful. I've got a 20 day old baby, and three other kids. I'm also recovering from a c-section. Last night, I fell asleep while feeding the baby on the couch. It happened when dh and ds1 (16) were both around...but it could have happened when it was just me and the little ones. DD knows how to open both the chain on the front door and the back patio gate. If they got out, it wouldn't be because I'm irresponsible or neglectful - it would be because I'm _exhausted_.


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## newbymom05 (Aug 13, 2005)

What crummy neighbors. I def wouldn't waste time putting anything in writing. And I think you're wise to wait until you calm down before speaking to them. Maybe next week go over, or if you see them out try to strike up a conversation about it, but I bet right now they're all defensive and convinced that they did the right thing.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I hope CPS doesn't come.

I can't imagine calling the cops in a circumstance like this, and I'm one who'd consider calling the cops a lot more than some people.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Madders* 
Why exactly would they check your fridge for something as simple as your child running away? I was under the impression they needed a neglect complaint or something to walk through the house.

She did it so she could put it in the report so that CPS would not come. As in, I checked it out and the house was clean and the kids had food, mother was nice and kids were normal and happy. AKA, don't come!

Hoping it works!


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## itsrtimedownhere (Jul 18, 2008)

ugh. i had a runner too. on more than 2, heck more than 10 occasions, he excaped from the house and ran down the street. naked. it got to where we had to keep all the doors and windows double locked so he wouldn't get out. we'd turn our back for a split second and he was gone.

luckly, he's (mostly) grown out of it. hopefully, yours does soon too.







:


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## neetling (Jan 24, 2006)

I have an escape artist 2 year old too. We have 2 gates that could let him out of the back yard (thank you God he can't climb the fence yet) We have one padlocked and the other we keep a tight bungee cord with caribiners on it that we can latch and unlatch. He can't pull it far enough to open it.

We have to keep the front door screen locked as well. We've installed chain locked up higher.

They all work fine until my husband forgets to latch the bungee cord thing and I look out the window to see my son across the street chasing the dogs he let out.

I was SO mad at my husband.

So I feel your pain. I hope that things end with the police visit. Little ones with no self control and little sense of danger are hard.


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kalimay* 
"It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal."

I would be careful expressing this mentality. I think CPS can deem many things as neglectful that are not necessarily illegal.

Also, I am not wanting to defend you neighbor but is it possible they were inside and saw your son run by and he came out after him at the same time you did?

Then I guess I'm very sad that wherever CPS would do this they are ignoring real neglect going on. Either that, or I'm glad - because apparently there IS no real neglect.


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## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

I have grabbed a kid that was getting away from mom before. If I'm concerned about safety, I"m not going to grab the phone to talk to the cops, I'm gonna stop the kid!


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## barefootmama0709 (Jun 25, 2009)

Purplemoon-about a month ago I took my toddler and baby outside so ODS could play in the yard. I watched him SUPER-carefully because the yard is not fenced in. He was playing on the steps dragging his tractor up and down, and I turned away to set the baby in his bouncy seat. When I turned back around, he was RUNNING UP THE ROAD! The road and the steps are around 200 feet apart. Kids move fast!! Don't beat yourself up about it.


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## Red Pajama (Jun 11, 2007)

I've not read the replies.
We also had gate problems, and I went to the local farm store and bought a short lenght of chain, and a snap, like what's at the end of a horse's lead rope. I put the length of chain around the gate and its post, high enough up that no child could reach it, and closed it with the snap. We can still take out the trash, but no kid is going to escape from that gate. If you thought that your kids could reach the snap you could use a combination lock instead. We've had this set up for about two years, and it's worked without problems.
Good luck.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
Why would CPS come if she called the cops? Wouldnt the cops come out and you tell them what happened and then they shrug and leave because the whole situation is ridiculous?????????????









:
Or go over there and lecture them about calling the cops for something they should've handled themselves.

Kid gets hurt when no one's watching it's a horrible accident. Kid gets hurt while some







whines to the cops instead of acting, it's their fault.


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## Delta (Oct 22, 2002)

We just moved to a new house with a big front porch and for a while I'd let my kids (5 and 2.5) hang out there while I kept my eye on them from the LR window. They never ran or even gave any interest in leaving the porch.

One day though my 2.5 year old got a wild hair and in about 10 seconds flat ran off the porch and into the street where he proceeded to do a little dance. WTH? I was FREAKING OUT and my neighbors were out front on their porch too, about to go get him as there was traffic.

I was sooo mad at myself and also kind of worried someone was going to call CPS on me, but they didn't. (There were numerous witnesses.)

All this to say that your neighbors suck.


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

A couple of years ago DH and I were working in the front garden when we noticed the 2 little girls who loved across the street dismantle the basement window, help each other climb out, and start walking down the sidewalk.

I kept an eye on the girls (they weren't in any hurry.... just moseying around) while DH rang the bell and told mom "Ummm.... did you know that your girls just climbed out the basement window?" She had been cooking dinner and was MORTIFIED!!! And so thankful to us after her heart started beating again.

It never even occurred to either of us to call the cops or DCFS!!! The girls were just being kids, doing what kids do... our biggest worry was making sure mom knew there was an issue.

So, yeah..... unless there's more to this story.... those neighbors = yuck.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kalimay* 
"It's not illegal to let your children play alone in a backyard. It's not illegal to nap when they're playing either... not responsible, but not illegal."

I would be careful expressing this mentality. I think CPS can deem many things as neglectful that are not necessarily illegal.


Yep.

My kid taking off his diaper outside being one of those things. Naked kids and even wiping naked kid butts is fine on tv but somehow neglect when in front of neighbors









OP-


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Madders* 
Why exactly would they check your fridge for something as simple as your child running away? I was under the impression they needed a neglect complaint or something to walk through the house.

A neighbor saying that her child is "always" outside unattended (you know they said that even though its not really so) qualifies.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *YouKnowMe* 
I am so sorry!!!

Moobie, I am sooooooooo sorry!!!

I have never understood that: why do adults hold the door open for toddlers in the first place? We have had that happen so often! What are they thinking?!

I know! Ive had kids try to get me to open doors for them at the mcdonalds playland. Um, NO.

Ok, gotta tell you, I saw this happen once and never even occured to me to call the cops! I was walking toward my house, saw a woman leave one house and dart really fast across the street to another house, almost immediately, a toddler comes out and, not seeing her, begins to RUN in the opposite direction, toward me! I intercept the child, all the while pointing and telling him, "mommy when that way" and by the time I touched the child, the mom was already running out of the house towards us. She thought he was distracted in his room and was only running across to her friends house to grab something quickly (I forget what) AND had an older child who was in the house, and was suppose to have latched the screen behind her. The older child was watching the entire thing from the doorway, apparently he thought he HAD latched it but didnt do it correctly. The mother was mortified. But by no means neglectful

Heres what I dont get: the cops are being called out because a child ran out of his yard, with his mother hot on his trail? I mean, had he been out wandering around the neighborhood with no parent in sight and you didnt know where he belonged, then i'd call the cops. But your neighbors are ridiculous!

Once my bil and sil came by my apt and found my neighbors two year old in the parking lot (and we were on the second floor!), all they did was bring her home, as they knew her. Kids are fast. I had a client who told me her kids escaped and while she was frantically searching, the apt manager brought them home...they had headed straight for the pool!! Another person I know woke up to find her two year old outside at two am, she had dragged a chair from the kitchen to reach the lock that had been installed at the top of the door specifically because she was an escape artist! In none of these cases were the cops called!!

Makes me glad I live out in the country, no neighbors to see my naked kids running in the yard and barn!!


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
But I am having to work very hard on not hating my neighbors right about now. Very hard.

nak

good for you- i was just hating on your behalf. stopping hating now. i hope they have a runner! mine is a wanderer, a darter.

reporting toddler nudity, gmafb.


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## shelbean91 (May 11, 2002)

Ds1 was 4 when he got out. we had the windows open b/c it was a nice day. he pushed the screens off and got about 1/2 mile away in 5 minutes. He's FAST. He was also naked from the waist down. He also has autism and is not verbal. A neighbor about 5 houses away told me some women had stopped him and the police were already there. I called 911 to let them know I was on the way- I ahd to get my other 2 in the car, they were 6 and 2, couldn't leave them home alone. The dispatcher said they had a 2 year old hispanic boy. I told him that was my son, but we aren't hispanic. My ds has dark coloring- from the italian side of my family- and in the summer he gets very dark from being in the sun. I needed to tell them so when I showed up - all white- that they would understand. I think they assumed he was hispanic because he was so dark (dark skin, hair, eyes) and didn't seem to speak english. Anyway, I'm terrified they're going to take him to the station and I'd have no way to find him- so I'm trying to get off the phone. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally get there and break down- explain to the cops what happened. They escort me back to the house and see where he got out.

Nothing happened past that- but my ds1 is now 7 and that window (or the other that opens to the front of the house) hasn't been opened since that day. The back yard has a 7 ft block wall- so safe there. But, if it hadn't been for the 2 women otu for a walk, who grabbed him *before* calling for help- ds could have ended up in a very busy road- he was almost there. I almost killed myself with all of the 'what if's', as I'm sure you have also done.

Basically, if CPS shows up- you will not have any issues. things like this happen. everyone is safe. I don't think CPS will show up- but you will be fine if they do.


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Okay....I'm COMPLETELY puzzled here.

Who here would say, that they would honestly get ANGRY, because her neighbors 2.5 yo escaped the back yard and ran down the street a ways? I just don't understand why the reaction to that is ANGER?

I would be laughing my PANTS off...would scoop the kid up and when the poor frantic mother arrived, would probably say something like "this kid needs a medal, I've never seen anyone under 3 run a quarter mile that fast!" - it's simply NOT something yo uget angry about!

Why is it so annoying to her? Where on EARTH do you live, mama, that people could do ANYTHING but laugh, to see a crafty escape artist, flailing down the street, in that cute baby run...with that cute baby weewee and bum wiggling along in the breeze as they hustle!! That's life! That's fun...that's a little boy busting out on his own...no idea where he's running, just seeing the world from a new perspective, sans mama...FREE!

Look...having a child espcape, is the most frightening thing a mama can experience...up until the very moment the kid is found. That's when you can laugh at the insanity of having children and coping with those crazy, flighty years they hit in between being a baby and being a child....but you HAVE to laugh, or you will most certainly cry out of frustration.

Purplemoon....don't you worry yourself and I demand that you let the stress of this event slip from your mind. You did nothing wrong. The true misfortune in all of this, is that you live next to a woman who, apparently, is blind to some of the simplest joy and sweetest pleasure in life. A mother cannot feel much but gripping fear in losing sight of her little one, if only for a few moments....but the neighbor who happens to spot the kid coming...has a truly marvelous vantage point...a window into a time past for them. For they can soak in the spirit of the escapee, they can feel joy at the expression of a young one, struck out on his own! See him satisfied in his unhindered movement and thirsting for adventure. It's NICE to see that..it's fun to see that, it's lucky, for that few minutes, to relive a bit of that....never again in a humans life, will the world seem so large and safe for that sort of exploration, never again will it feel so exhilerating to just RUN! An adult should try and recapture that feeling as many times in their life as they can...keeps you young.

But...in this neighbor of yours, we see a classic example of a woman who is on the very cusp of a time in her life, where she will see the error of her ways. You said her son is only a few months old? What, like six months??? Yeah...we here all know how quickly that year and a half is going to go by, don't we? One moment, holding a happy six month old...tisk tisking that silly unfit mother down the way..."Shame on her, losing track of her little one like that, and TWO times, no less....I have never lost sight of mine!" - well, let's hope the universe is kind to her and that when her wild child discovers his running feet and puts them under him....he ends up running down the street to YOU....so you can help her see the comedy in it...I say something in the way of "Haha, don't worry, he just ran a few houses down, I caught him no problem...wow, they get out quick, huh! Gee, do you think he's okay...I mean, should we call the police? Oh my, I see you're in your night gown, that's not very good for outside, is it!"









You're fine mama....this is life with children. I don't know what the world is coming to, that anyone has neighbors like that...unbelievable....


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## Kappa (Oct 15, 2007)

The only time I have ever called the cops on a parent was when a little girl showed up at my house saying her mother was "gone" and when I took her back to her house to look, her mother was in fact "gone." Why r u going to call the cops when the mother is standing right there?


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## earthmama369 (Jul 29, 2005)

I was helping a friend put her baby in her back carrier at a park this morning and ds (3) and one of her boys (2.5) took off on us. As soon as the baby was safely settled (a few seconds, if that), I took off running after them, but by that point, they had covered the entire distance from the benches where we had been sitting to the parking lot. One was halfway across the lane and my son had crossed the entire lane and was standing next to my van. I was HORRIFIED. I knew they were fast, but they were REALLY fast. I knew ds might forget the rules we've worked so hard on, but I didn't think he'd forget them that badly, especially with me chasing after him and shouting to stop.

It happens. It's scary as hell, but it's one of those split-second things. I can't even imagine calling the police instead of stopping the child and keeping them safe. Anyone who's ever had a child of their own, or babysat, or just observed other kids, should know how quickly kids can act, and how sometimes they act suddenly and out of character. (My mother calls it "taking a wild hair.") The police and CPS are resources for a neglected or abused child, not a sudden runner.

(And you better believe ds spent the rest of the trip either in a mei tai on my back or holding my hand. Good freakin' god, I just about had a heart attack.)


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

I am with Averysmama.

Your kid ran down the street and now you have to deal with all this shit? If so this is the stupidest thing I have seen. Those neighbors have it out for you, but why?

AND .... that is the main reason why this article is soooo never going to be reality.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1079733

I am so grateful my mom is visiting me. Instead of using that downtime to relax and enjoy my life, I will now clean because gawd only knows I am not a perfect parent. I let my kid play barefoot in the backyard the other day!!!!!


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
<snip>I let my kid play barefoot in the backyard the other day!!!!!









Oh yeah? Well, my baby girl got a messy ham face for lunch the other day...and then she was sleepy...so, I just let her go to sleep with ham sludge and rice stuck to her face.

Man...some of us MDC mamas are bad to the bone!!







:


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Oh my goodness.









I'm so sorry you have to deal with that crap!

Just last week we were visiting my parents in WV. They live in the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. It's beautiful! They're a couple miles from town, they have 2 neighbors in sight, that's it. Their road gets busy and cars tend to fly around the bend, but it's not a constant flow of traffic at all.

I was doing yard work while my dad looked on (he's disabled and was directing what needed to be done) and my older kids played in the yard. The baby, 20 mos, was on the deck w/ my dad. Never did I think he would come off the deck, and if he did, I'd just redirect him. No big deal.

I had my back turned to my dad and ds2, the big kids were playing, my brother had just pulled in and was getting out of his car, and the next thing I know, a car is stopping and my dad is SCREAMING ds2's name over and over again.

I looked and ds2 was IN THE ROAD.

He had zipped right off the deck, past me, and none of us had even noticed.

I scooped him up, shaking, of course, heart pounding out of my chest, and waved at the lady who stopped (thanking her!) and walked to the deck. My dad has had a couple heart attacks and strokes. He damn near had another one. *I need a melting in utter shock and terror smilie*

I put ds2 in my baby carrier on my back and continued the yard work. Eventually. We needed to sit and relax after that panic! And then we went to buy some gates for the deck!

Nobody called Family Services or the police over it.


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

*


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

*


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## BroodyWoodsgal (Jan 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cascadian* 
I'm CPS. Get calls every day about escape artists (some terribly scary situations...kids crossing lanes of traffic, or found at the edges of lakes). Unless the parents were passed out drunk, high, or leaving a 6 yr old as a babysitter, I chat with them about how scary that was, tell them it's a routine practice to check out the situation, talk about locks, laugh about how this age is so tricky, end of case.

My 3 yr old DD took off. Dh and I were cleaning the garage, BOTH watching her in the driveway. Both our backs were turned for maybe 7 seconds as I asked him a question about something to throw out, and she was in the middle of the street putting out her riding cones.









I do think it was crummy of your neighbours as they obviously know you a titch better than a random stranger on the street.


Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.

I never ceased to be amazed....it would just never ever in a million years, EVER occur to me to call CPS for less than actual abuse...I would never do it and can't manage to cram my brain into that frame of mind.







:


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## Cascadian (Jan 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AverysMomma* 
Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.

I never ceased to be amazed....it would just never ever in a million years, EVER occur to me to call CPS for less than actual abuse...I would never do it and can't manage to cram my brain into that frame of mind.







:

IME when I screened calls, typically middle class, white collar, educated, professional people call CPS, so it makes sense it's coming from the better neighbourhoods. Some are mandated, some have blinkers on as to anyone living outside of their comfort zone. Many callers in the 'worse' part of town are either hell-bent on some kind of revenge on neighbours or in custody battles. Otherwise, they don't go poking beehives with sticks as it could swing the lens on themselves.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AverysMomma* 
Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.

I don't get it, either. My sister had someone call on her once. She was a single mom, and my then 2 year old nephew woke up from his nap, pulled a chair over to the apartment door, and undid the chain. She didn't hear him, because she was in the kitchen doing dishes with water running. The first she knew, someone was knocking on her door. She opened it, and a woman yelled "is that your child?" in her face. (My nephew had run back in when the woman yelled at him.) When my sister confirmed that it was her son, the woman ranted at her about her irresponsibility and how they shouldn't "let" people like her be parents. CPS (Canadian equivalent) showed up a couple hours later to do an assessment. It just blows my mind.

I wonder if these people never had kids, or didn't have escape artists, or what...


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## SandraS (Jan 18, 2007)

You know, I had CPS visit once after the police came and hauled my (now ex) husband off because he was attacking me in the front yard.

They came the next day to check on our well-being, ask if I knew how to file restraining orders and change locks, and basically was there to lend a shoulder and some support. She said it was routine, she was the nicest lady, and that was it.

To me, that seems way more valid. And it was nice to know that they were checking on a "violent household" with kids to ensure I wasn't stupid enough to let him back in!


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## BabyMae09 (Sep 19, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moobiegirl* 
i had something similar happen to me today too.

We live next door to a pizza shop. It gets really busy at lunch time. We walked over there to get a slice of pizza. Ds ran out the door. Two cops sitting at a table eating sees him run out and yells "he's out the door". Three adults were holding the door open. The one in the front yells back at me "do you want him out here?" i say "no", but really i'm thinking why would i want a 2 year old running out into a parking lot unsuprivised? Then he runs up some steps to a second story deck. A teenager tells me that he can't go up there. I say to him that he can't go anywhere up there and he'll come down faster than i can get to him so i'm just gonna wait for him to come down. Now mind you i am 39 weeks pregnant and can not run after a 2 year old, but no one will help me stop him from running. They all must think it's funny to watch a very pregnant lady chase a toddler.

I know how frustrating having a runner can be.









lame!


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## DocsNemesis (Dec 10, 2005)

I've had CPS involvement for years because of an escape artist too. My oldest started getting out of the house when he was 3. Twice the cops got called, they called CPS, and at the time, we had this horrible, power hungry social worker. She nitpicked EVERYTHING. I mean, she yelled at me for having a fork (on my plate, which I was using when she showed up)-because he could stab his sister. Seriously.

Anyway, I have CPS involvement now too due to the same kid, who's NINE now, deciding to walk to the gas station to get bug juice. And because he likes to sound big, he decided to brag that he was giving himself his own meds (which he doesnt). Blarg. This time I got a decent worker and after they had been called at least 8 times for various things (the above stuff, as well as due to my neighbor calling anytime my 3 year old has a fit. Thanks.), I was referred to some other program. Its annoying, but at least they dont knitpick.

I sincerly hope that your neighbors child is a little escape artist in a few years too. *evil laugh*


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

My first thought was 'may they be blessed with a runner/escape artist. Perhaps not so nice but sometimes it takes experience to humble a person.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LavenderMae* 
My first thought was 'may they be blessed with a runner/escape artist. Perhaps not so nice but sometimes it takes experience to humble a person.

I have wished that on a few key people...


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## lmclanahan (Mar 17, 2006)

I don't know if this will help. I live in MD. I have had two friends have this happen to them. Both times, CPS had to come out, but found nothing wrong, and closed the case.
I too have a runner, and I worry that she will get out and disappear, especially in an unknown area. It is very scary!!


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## lness (Jul 14, 2009)

A thought on why they didn't do anything (just playing devil's advocate here, I still would have grabbed him!) - think about how our society is now. You might not be this way, but look at from their perspective: Your child disappears and when you run outside, you see a strange man down the street, holding him. How would an awful lot of people interpret that? Unfortunately, a lot of people won't touch a child they don't know, even to be helpful, because they're afraid of the reaction.


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

So if the cops are called do you HAVE to let them in your house and do they HAVE to call CPS? Isnt there leeway for them to use their own judgement???

I feel like I am next in line....the other day walking into the Publix, ds would NOT hold my hand and so I held him by the wrist, while he protested and this one older person was just watching me, gave me the heebeejeevies. What am I supposed to do? Let him walk by himself? Um, dont think so.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

Quote:

the 2.5 year old opened the gate (which he knows is a big no-no).
See, I don't think that a 2.5 year old is going to remember when they want to open the gate, that mom doesn't want him to do it. If he's outside, you need to be out there too. If you go in, so does he.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
See, I don't think that a 2.5 year old is going to remember when they want to open the gate, that mom doesn't want him to do it.

I was thinking this too, or basically that he might not have the impulse control not to do it.

Quote:

If he's outside, you need to be out there too. If you go in, so does he.
I generally think the same way about a 2.5 year old, though of course exact thinking might vary slightly by child and situation. This kid's an escape artist for sure, so I guess you'll be on your toes for a couple years!

I realize that him being out there with a big kid who can get you in case of trouble does seem to have a semi-protective quality, but clearly in this case not quite enough.

You were busy learning that, though, when all that happened. To the neighbor, way to kick a poor mom when she's down. Sorry that happened to you. That sucks!

I do think your neighbors should have tried to help you and that there was no reason to call the police since you were obviously right there running after him.

If they truly worried this was a case of neglect, I'd say they should have helped you first, then thought about it for a while, then talked with you about their concerns and maybe even offerred to help in some way, and then if the concerns remained, called CPS themselves.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *phathui5* 
See, I don't think that a 2.5 year old is going to remember when they want to open the gate, that mom doesn't want him to do it. If he's outside, you need to be out there too. If you go in, so does he.

I was outside. I have a big backyard. He moves fast (as in he runs especially if he knows he is being followed).

Funny thing was when the cop was talking to me in my fenced front yard my 4 year old was climbing the chainlink and she didn't see it (I have to constantly look around with my two so I caught it). Then my other neighbor came over today to give me support. It is a VERY small town so basically the whole town knows the cops came to my house.







Anyway, while talking, I turned and my 2 year old was gone. He was inside the house (which he can't be alone in because of his hatred of eggs et.al.). I know it is a stage but what a stage it is!

It's something I am sure I will find funny one day, but while my kids are the sweetest, kindest, funniest kids in the world, they are monkeys. Literally.

Anyway, the question do you have to let the cops in? No. You don't. I thought about it since I know my rights, but I thought why not? It may have been a really good idea because in the report that they HAVE to send to CPS she can mention that the house showed no signs of neglect. Therefor it could mean that CPS doesn't have to come out. But of course you can say no.

DocsNemesis- that scares me. I worry about the psycho case worker who finds forks a danger to humanity etc. That is why I don't appreciate my neighbors and the choice to call in authorities who may or may not be sane. Of course I have wished them the humbling experience of a runner. And will I call the cops? Nope! I will wink as I give the child back.

I get why they wouldn't want to be holding my kid I guess, but still! It would never cross my mind to not help, and before kids I helped many a young child get back to mom when I found them wandering around. Never called the cops.

As far as wondering when it will happen to you, geez I used to read all the threads about CPS and think, it won't happen to me! Well, it did. People can be real idiots and call about anything. I am blessed that I have enough energy with just two to keep my house pretty clean and I am a chunky gal who likes to eat so the idea of no food in my house is blasphamy, so I was lucky. I guess just dot your i's and cross your t's and hope that the world becomes more neighborly and less apt to bring in the police/cps.

I just have to say on top of the fact that I had the police in my house and now a case number, the fact that the whole town knows is just super cool.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sierra* 

If they truly worried this was a case of neglect, I'd say they should have helped you first, then thought about it for a while, then talked with you about their concerns and maybe even offerred to help in some way, and then if the concerns remained, called CPS themselves.

That is how I have handled things in the past with moms having a hard time.

My neighbor that came over asked if I needed anything but dh is home tomorrow and can fix the gate, so no. But the fact is that I do need a guy sometimes as my ability to put locks on things obviously fail. Or a gal that is better at these things than myself!

My dh is a trucker and is only home a day and half each week. Most neighbors have been really kind knowing I am mostly a single mom with a lot of house. I have had them come over and weed my backyard, give me fertilizer for my lawn, mow my yard or at least start it (which with two kids and a dog that have to be there with me is a nightmare of fear, mostly the dog who tries to attack the mower, the kids have to sit against the wall).

If they had concern, which I had concern too so I wouldn't blame them, I would have loved help. A person who understood basic physics of a gate? Awesome! But they don't know and didn't try to know. Shame on them for that.

And now we have to be neighbors. Can I overcome my feelings towards them at this point (who have band practice that vibrates my walls until 10pm every other night and I never considered calling the police??) I don't know. I will try my hardest, it is not worth it harboring negative feelings. But it sure is hard right now.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

I'd write them a letter explaining how this has made you feel and point out the band practice stuff...


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
I run to the backyard and look out and don't see him, I am calling for him loudly from the instant my son told me. I see a man at the corner of the alley and street on a cellphone and I ask if he has seen my son. He said he went that way and pointed and then followed my son. I am running when a woman with a baby yells at me that this is the second time and she is calling the police (is on the phone that moment) and the man who was on the phone was her husband who was also calling the police.

I really hate people sometimes. Two people are just standing there, calling the police on their cell phones while your toddler runs by? What the heck???

Someone called social services on my sister once, because she had 6 children; they reported her for running an unlicensed daycare.


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
Anyway, the question do you have to let the cops in? No. You don't. I thought about it since I know my rights, but I thought why not? It may have been a really good idea because in the report that they HAVE to send to CPS she can mention that the house showed no signs of neglect. Therefor it could mean that CPS doesn't have to come out. But of course you can say no.

crap. Guess I am scrubbing the house this weekend.

I grew up in Northern Ca am dying to know what town you are in









I really hate that you are dealing with such nonsense. I am on the list that hopes the neigbor has a monkey too


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## marrymeflyfree (Jan 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lness* 
A thought on why they didn't do anything (just playing devil's advocate here, I still would have grabbed him!) - think about how our society is now. You might not be this way, but look at from their perspective: Your child disappears and when you run outside, you see a strange man down the street, holding him. How would an awful lot of people interpret that? Unfortunately, a lot of people won't touch a child they don't know, even to be helpful, because they're afraid of the reaction.


Yep.

I thought I was helping a fellow mom recently...but apparently she didn't want my help. We were all getting off the plane, tons of people pouring out into the jetway...she and my hubby were both getting the strollers at the bottom of the jetway, and her son (probably a young 4yo if I had to guess) just took off into the crowd of people and kept going. The terminal was packed and he was a runner. I caught up to him in the terminal and walked him back down to his mom. Now I'm not overly paranoid about such things, but he was not stopping and I could barely see him even following close behind - and she was still down at the bottom with her bags! But rather than a thank you, I got one of the meanest death glares you could imagine. And I'm not a weird pervy old man but a pregnant woman carrying my 1yo to boot.


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
crap. Guess I am scrubbing the house this weekend.

I grew up in Northern Ca am dying to know what town you are in









I really hate that you are dealing with such nonsense. I am on the list that hopes the neigbor has a monkey too










My house has never been cleaner since! Seriously, it is showroom nice. I spent the day vacuuming under the beds and dusting every single thing in the house! Now I will probably be put away for being neurotic. lol.

The town I am in is 800 people. Have you heard of it? Probably not.









The cool thing about the town was that we all help each other out. The week before I paid for someone's medication and took them to the doctor because they had an infection, washed an invalid's hair and took him grocery shopping (a 4 hour event), drove someone home so he wouldn't walk home intoxicated, hid someone's keys and talked them down from committing suicide, gave my neighbors some peaches that I have too much of, and watched a nieghbors kid all day for nothing because they had a work emergency. And they have all helped me when I needed it with yardwork and car help etc. But yet these people had to pop out of the woodwork and sour me to everything. GRRRR! I just have to know most of us are in it together in this small, tiny town.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I really hate people sometimes. Two people are just standing there, calling the police on their cell phones while your toddler runs by? What the heck???

Someone called social services on my sister once, because she had 6 children; they reported her for running an unlicensed daycare.

Are you serious?

It had to have been a headache but it looks really funny written out.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *marrymeflyfree* 
and she was still down at the bottom with her bags! But rather than a thank you, I got one of the meanest death glares you could imagine.

Some people view helping as criticism. She may have been worried that you were about to give her a lecture for not watching her child--like how the neighbors did in the OP.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kappa* 
The only time I have ever called the cops on a parent was when a little girl showed up at my house saying her mother was "gone" and when I took her back to her house to look, her mother was in fact "gone." Why r u going to call the cops when the mother is standing right there?

Thank goodness that little girl knew of a nice neighbor to ask for help!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
I just have to say on top of the fact that I had the police in my house and now a case number, the fact that the whole town knows is just super cool.









If I were you, I'd make sure the whole town knows exactly what happened. Firstly, because you don't want anyone thinking the cops were called for something real. Secondly, because it's not fair to let other parents miss laughing about your UAV neighbors.


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## DianeMarie (Jul 7, 2009)

That's ridiculous. The utter stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me. I really cannot imagine CPS coming because your kid ran out of your yard. I have neighbors with 2 kid, 5 and 3, and those kids are all over the neighborhood. They climb over my chain link fence into my yard to pet my dog, they opened the neighbor's gate in the back when they were having a birthday party for their daughter and just walked right in and jumped on the swing set, throwing all the other kids off (that were the family and friends of the little girl and her family......????)---in fact, a couple weeks ago, I was standing in my porch looking out the door, and I see the 5-year old boy standing ON TOP of the father work van, jumping up and down!!! Now if CPS isn't coming to their house to check out the safety of those kids, I can hardly see CPS coming to your house because of your "stray" child.

But, one thing I can say----PADLOCK. You need locks that your child CANNOT open, under any circumstances!! You keep the key and hide it. This way, you can get the key and open the gate when you take out your garbage, and then shut the gate and lock it up again. This will take a lot of worry off your mind. I am of the opinion that a child could probably figure out how to work a nuclear reactor, and the parents would struggle to work the microwave!!!


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

I definitely would not have called CPS (nor would it have crossed my mind) but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have grabbed the kid either unless there was imminent danger (kid about to run out onto a street with traffic, for instance).

Everything I've experience in real life, and everything I've read here on MDC, reinforces the point - you do NOT touch or interfere with another person's child.

Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.

Like you, I'd suffer the yelling, actually even if danger WASN'T imminent because we all know how fast toddlers can be and how quickly situations can change...


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Swan3* 
Like you, I'd suffer the yelling, actually even if danger WASN'T imminent because we all know how fast toddlers can be and how quickly situations can change...

Yeah, perhaps. I don't know for sure what I'd do in that case but for sure, it wouldn't be a given that I would grab the kid. I would LIKE to grab the kid, but I'm not sure if I would ...


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
Yeah, perhaps. I don't know for sure what I'd do in that case but for sure, it wouldn't be a given that I would grab the kid. I would LIKE to grab the kid, but I'm not sure if I would ...

Mine's a runner and just the other day took off on me, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and COULD.NOT.KEEP.UP. I did run (sort of run) past lots of people pointing and laughing though. Grrr. In that case if someone had physically stopped her I probably would have thanked them profusely, but that's me!


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## sunanthem (Jan 29, 2004)

I just had CPS called on me also, my 3 yr. old crossed the street in front of our house while we were coming in from the car. I was bringing in groceries and thought she was right behind me. By the time I had put the groceries down in the kitchen and was headed back to the front door, a neighbor had her there and was yelling at me. I thanked her for getting her and said good bye so I could have a nice long talk with my dd. A few days later CPS called and wanted to stop by for a visit. I could not believe it. I told them, sure, come on over and see how well I take care of my kids! I had to waste half my day chatting with them about everything in our family life.

I'm so glad I have helpful neighbors.









I know exactly how you feel purplemoon.


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
I definitely would not have called CPS (nor would it have crossed my mind) but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have grabbed the kid either unless there was imminent danger (kid about to run out onto a street with traffic, for instance).

Everything I've experience in real life, and everything I've read here on MDC, reinforces the point - you do NOT touch or interfere with another person's child.

Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.

I saw a woman yesterday running after her toddler with an infant in arms. There was no imminent danger, so I asked if she needed help, such as for me to get him as he ran past. (Had there been imminent danger, I would not have asked before acting) She said he was just running off energy, so I let him go past. (My husband and kids were with me, too.) But I have a runner and a baby, so I understand and sometimes would appreciate help.


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## gbailey (Mar 10, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
If I were you, I'd make sure the whole town knows exactly what happened. Firstly, because you don't want anyone thinking the cops were called for something real. Secondly, because it's not fair to let other parents miss laughing about your UAV neighbors.









: Sorry you had to go through this OP. What jerks for neighbors!


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## mamakah (Nov 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
Hmm....maybe. Also they reported how my son was half naked. He's always half naked outside because he is being potty trained.

The cop was very nice. I was scared to let her inside when she asked but I did and she checked their room, the living room and the kitchen and fridge. She said she would put all of that down in her report to CPS so she thinks that it will be more likely they won't follow up. As in, she did what they would do and everything is kosher.

But I am having to work very hard on not hating my neighbors right about now. Very hard.









So a toddler being half naked is abuse??? These people sound awful. You did nothing wrong. It is so hard for me to get past situtions like this. I hate to feel like ANYONE thinks I am a bad parent. They just don't really understand what having a toddler is like, they will learn the hard way. I agree with previous posters, when their little one is mobile, I would offer them the same "protective" services they offered you. he he.


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## uumomma (Jun 10, 2007)

the week after thanksgiving, salem who at the time was 14 months, somehow got out the front door, down the steps and was "chatting" with our neighbour who was putting up xmas lights, i had been doing the dishes, it got ya know QUIET and i looked for her.
when i saw her outside, (with just a glance out the window, cuz why would she be out there?) i saw her...
ron was great..he said, "she is a good helper!" she was "safe" we live on a small cult-de-sac with only 3 houses way off the road but still!.

but lots of people suck


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
If I were you, I'd make sure the whole town knows exactly what happened. Firstly, because you don't want anyone thinking the cops were called for something real. Secondly, because it's not fair to let other parents miss laughing about your UAV neighbors.









I agree!


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## 2cutiekitties (Dec 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunanthem* 
I just had CPS called on me also, my 3 yr. old crossed the street in front of our house while we were coming in from the car. I was bringing in groceries and thought she was right behind me. By the time I had put the groceries down in the kitchen and was headed back to the front door, a neighbor had her there and was yelling at me. I thanked her for getting her and said good bye so I could have a nice long talk with my dd. A few days later CPS called and wanted to stop by for a visit. I could not believe it. I told them, sure, come on over and see how well I take care of my kids! I had to waste half my day chatting with them about everything in our family life.

I'm so glad I have helpful neighbors.









I know exactly how you feel purplemoon.

That is frustrating







:

When I was in school there was a case about neighbors that hated each other ... they said never get on your neigbors bad side because that one neighbors house caught fire and the other one didnt call 911. I have always lived by that as a kind of golden rule. Wish others would follow.


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## Delta (Oct 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunanthem* 
I just had CPS called on me also, my 3 yr. old crossed the street in front of our house while we were coming in from the car. I was bringing in groceries and thought she was right behind me. By the time I had put the groceries down in the kitchen and was headed back to the front door, a neighbor had her there and was yelling at me. I thanked her for getting her and said good bye so I could have a nice long talk with my dd. A few days later CPS called and wanted to stop by for a visit. I could not believe it. I told them, sure, come on over and see how well I take care of my kids! I had to waste half my day chatting with them about everything in our family life.

I'm so glad I have helpful neighbors.









I know exactly how you feel purplemoon.

Are you serious? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?!

Holy crap.


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

my son got out a few times when he learned how to open the doof before i got into the habit of locking it. usually i heard it open, but once i was in the kitchen and someone rang my doorbell.... i went and saw the door open and though "oh crap!" he had opened the door and was playing in the grass in the rain!

the lady was driving by and saw him and saw my door open and put 2 and 2 together

i about had a hear attack. he was about a year and a half or so


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## bebebradford (Apr 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 
Yeah, perhaps. I don't know for sure what I'd do in that case but for sure, it wouldn't be a given that I would grab the kid. I would LIKE to grab the kid, but I'm not sure if I would ...


I understand your concern, but honestly.. I am always helping other moms with their kids. .. ESP at stores! I'll see a child running away and a mom far behind so I'll just semi block the child and make eye contact with the mom to let her know I'm friendly. LOL I live in a southern town, and the attitude is pretty laid back here. If a child is alone, looks like it could be in danger, etc I always try to help out. If the parent gets mad.. well, I won't loose sleep over it. I just believe Children are precious, and that maternal instinct kicks in.


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## sunanthem (Jan 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
That is frustrating







:

When I was in school there was a case about neighbors that hated each other ... they said never get on your neigbors bad side because that one neighbors house caught fire and the other one didnt call 911. I have always lived by that as a kind of golden rule. Wish others would follow.

Haha! I am chuckling at your point of view! I am pretty angry, though I still think I would call 911 if a house was burning.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Delta* 
Are you serious? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?!

Holy crap.

I am totally serious. You should see our street too.. its a small residential street, its not 2 lanes, doesnt have a light, our front door is about ten paces from the street.. we ride our bikes in the street all the time, and there are tons of families on the street whose kids are always out and about, its a walking neighborhood, so you see dog walkers, strollers and bikes all day long, AND we have a sign on our front lawn that says "SLOW HILL 15 MPH".
CPS seemed to understand but wants us to ask our landlord to put up a fence, so that it never happens again. I am aware that it isn't safe for her to be crossing the street alone, and have always taught her to look both ways, and don't play in the street w/o an adult- but that day my dd simply told me she "wanted to cross the street". Kids are darn fast, and we can't have eyes on them every single second of the day, ya know?

I just wish my neighbor would have talked to me a bit more about it, instead of yelling or calling outside folks for help.


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## ninsk (Jul 20, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *laohaire* 

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.

All these things really make me sad here in America. People are frozen with fear, paranoid and over protective. I am originally from Russia and children run free with other kids playing in the street. neighbours talk to neighbours and help each other out.

I recently read a sad real story that had happened in GB, I believe. A toddler girl walked away from the kindergarden. The farmer passed by in a truck and didn't stop. he feared people would think he's a pedofile. The girl walked right into the pond and drawned. This is what happens when we are afraid to do the right thing because the culture tell us the opposite.

In my opinion, CPS is given too much power. i have heard of families ruined because of CPS intervention, children taken away from wonderful parents, parents on trials because of the CPS allegations. This system is not working well, something has to change.


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## carmel23 (Jul 21, 2006)

When the cops show up ask *them* to help you fix the gate... Seriously. They'd help. Most cops want to keep kids safe and if they're is something to judge, it wouldn't be you. Cops usually see some messed stuff, even in small towns, so when they see a mama who wants to keep her kids safe and needs some help, they'll help.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Swan3* 
Mine's a runner and just the other day took off on me, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and COULD.NOT.KEEP.UP. I did run (sort of run) past lots of people pointing and laughing though. Grrr. In that case if someone had physically stopped her I probably would have thanked them profusely, but that's me!

And that's how it has always gone for me when I've helped catch a kid.

I do think, briefly, about what if the parent gets mad, and then I think "well, UAV like that deserves to be POed,







them"

Mind you, I do say stuff like "wait for your grown-up sweetie" and generally make it clear that I'm catching the kid *for* the mom/dad/babysitter.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2cutiekitties* 
When I was in school there was a case about neighbors that hated each other ... they said never get on your neigbors bad side because that one neighbors house caught fire and the other one didnt call 911.

No, that's a reason to always live right up next to your neighbors so if they do stuff like that their house burns too.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

Dear PurpleMoon's neighbors:

It take a village to raise a child. Maybe it's hard to understand toddlerhood as parents of an infant. But the next time you see a child in danger and a mother at her wit's end, try helping. If you can, slow the child down. Block the child. Hold his or her hand if they'll come to you while telling them it's time to go find Mama.

Thanks.

Long before I had kids, i've been the one asking small children where their parent is. Yelling to a screaming, frantic, running mom with other kids and a stroller in tow that I can see her child, may I take his hand? No one has EVER said no. Many have thanked me profusely, some while crying.

I've stopped children from shoplifting in a store. My line is "That's not yours" when I see a child opening a package in secret without a parent around. Once, a child ratted me out. They came around the corner into my aisle, behind me, kid pointed me out, and Dad got in front of me. To thank me.

Seriously, I'm in the NYC area and I wouldn't have a problem with a kind-hearted adult grabbing my child to prevent them from running into the street, or away from me. Toddlers in particular can be strong-willed and way faster than a PG mom or mom with an infant.

OP, sorry it happened. Seriously, who calls the cops and stands by watching a child potentially in trouble/lost?


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## mysticmomma (Feb 8, 2005)

updates op?


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

My son's birthday party (turned 4) was on Saturday and yes, the whole town knew about the cops. As I was getting milk at the store the guy asked about it. Some of my friends from town asked (they were worried it was domestic violence or something scary) and we all had a big laugh. They know my sons and they know me and they are moms.

So I told the story and they kept guessing who the neighbor was (was she short? Maybe it was Sarah, no, was it Melissa? Was her husband fat?) but I didn't give any other information because I thought it wouldn't do well to have people know how much of a UAV the neighbors were. As mad as I am, I don't like animosity and don't feed gossip.

My dh put a padlock on the back gate and it is secure.

I figure CPS saw the cops report and put it in the circular file. I hope so anyway! The fact that I haven't heard anything has to be good news since if I was a horribly neglectful parent I would hope that CPS wouldn't sit around and hem and haw over it for days on end. So I think I won't have to deal with the intrusion of CPS. I am knocking on wood though!

Haven't seen the neighbor yet but plan to go out with the kids tomorrow morning before the heat of the day and if I see them I can manage to say my piece without being emotional about it.


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## tjjazzy (Jan 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lness* 
A thought on why they didn't do anything (just playing devil's advocate here, I still would have grabbed him!) - think about how our society is now. You might not be this way, but look at from their perspective: Your child disappears and when you run outside, you see a strange man down the street, holding him. How would an awful lot of people interpret that? Unfortunately, a lot of people won't touch a child they don't know, even to be helpful, because they're afraid of the reaction.

that's what i was thinking...i will try to redirect but i will rarely touch anyone's child. you never know what some crazies will accuse you of.


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## mjg013 (Jul 29, 2008)

I'm sorry your neighbors reacted that way. I have 2.5 year old twins and Aslan is a houdini. There's nothing like the fear of waking up in the morning and realizing that he isn't in his bed and the back door is cracked open and finding your 2.5 year old nearly naked playing on the neighbor's playset. We have our doors locked and dead bolted with child-proof knobs on them plus a fenced in yard with locks on both gates but he has figured out how to conquer all of them. He manages to sneak out in spite of constant vigilance. I'm glad my neighbors all have gone through the toddler stage and take a helpful, caring approach.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

I think you need to remember we live in a parinoid society. Men and women are affriad to touch kids...that is why HE call the police instead of stopping your child.

Think how bad it would have been if he had grabbed your son and your son start to cry because this strange man had stopped him -- once accused he can never get unaccused.

Not everyone body knows how to redirect a child. Or they can try and it not work. I have tried to redirect with no avial.

It is one of those times you have to think of it as a mixed thanks that they did call not just ignore your child completely.

The woman might be a new enough mom not to understand the houdini child. Actually unless you see it on video tape or you have been there done that you don't get it. ***** I had a friend whose houdini child escaped and got picked up by the police. The police officer took child back to police house called CPS and started looking for parents. When she went to go pick up her child the police and cps was looking for the child in the police station. She had houdinied her self under a desk and fell asleep -- LOL.


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## ginadc (Jun 13, 2006)

You don't have to grab a running child--at least a small one--to put the brakes on. I probably would not grab another person's child, as in physically put my hands on them, unless it meant literally pulling them out of traffic. But I would and have stopped kids racing away from their parents into harm's way.

Actually, when we were down in Savannah meeting Annika's birthmom for the first time--she was about 8 months pregnant--we were all going out for Mexican food and as we crossed the gravel parking lot, a boy of about two or three sped in my direction. His mom was running after him but she was in heels and he was f.a.s.t. No way was I going to grab a stranger's child, but I just planted myself in front of him in a basketball-style blocking maneuver and in a playful way said, "Now just where do you think you're going? I think your mommy's back there!" He stopped, stared at me like I was a crazy lady, and then looked back in time to see his mom catch up to us and grab him. She was relieved and grateful.

So it's not like their only alternatives were "grab child" or "call police." There are options other than those extremes. Especially since there were two of them, one of them could have tried to head the 2.5-year-old off while the other ran to get purplemoon. Instead, they were *both* busily calling the cops. How stupid and unhelpful.


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## phatchristy (Jul 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *purplemoon* 
My dh put a padlock on the back gate and it is secure.


Hey, you just answered my question...I was wondering why there wasn't a padlock on the gate.







We have a relatively large unusually shaped yard (there's more yard on the two sides of our house than the back!) But it's completely fensed in. The padlock was what I absolutely insisted on...though DH might grumble about having to undo it every time he mows the lawn...but tough! I've got a three year old who is super strong, super fast and fearless and there is no way (especially when I was pregnant) I could risk him bolting away.

Sounds like, hopefully, the whole drama is behind you though. If it were me, I would definitely talk to those neighbors/send a letter, etc.


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## Anglyn (Oct 25, 2004)

Quote:



Originally Posted by *AverysMomma*


Who are these people with CPS on speed dial?? It makes me sick to my stomach...I see young kids in the worse-off part of my town walking the streets, in the snow of winter, at near night time, no coat on, in canvas shoes with no socks and pants so small for them that they come up to their mid calf....that's who CPS needs to be looking after....not chasing "leads" about parents with three year olds up to mischeif.

I never ceased to be amazed....it would just never ever in a million years, EVER occur to me to call CPS for less than actual abuse...I would never do it and can't manage to cram my brain into that frame of mind.







:



Quote:



Originally Posted by *Cascadian*


IME when I screened calls, typically middle class, white collar, educated, professional people call CPS, so it makes sense it's coming from the better neighbourhoods. Some are mandated, some have blinkers on as to anyone living outside of their comfort zone. Many callers in the 'worse' part of town are either hell-bent on some kind of revenge on neighbours or in custody battles. Otherwise, they don't go poking beehives with sticks as it could swing the lens on themselves.


Both of the above posts kind of make a lot of assumptions about people based on income. Perhaps kids in too small clothes have loving parents who are struggling yet still cant make ends meet and would welcome some help in for the form of hand me downs or help filling out applications for foodstamps or maybe they need help paying the waterbill to get it turned back on so that they can bathe thier children. It scares me when we assume that poverty equals neglect. And middle class families often are just better at covering up neglect and abuse when it is present.

Quote:



Originally Posted by *DocsNemesis*


I've had CPS involvement for years because of an escape artist too. My oldest started getting out of the house when he was 3. Twice the cops got called, they called CPS, and at the time, we had this horrible, power hungry social worker. She nitpicked EVERYTHING. I mean, she yelled at me for having a fork (on my plate, which I was using when she showed up)-because he could stab his sister. Seriously.

Anyway, I have CPS involvement now too due to the same kid, who's NINE now, deciding to walk to the gas station to get bug juice. And because he likes to sound big, he decided to brag that he was giving himself his own meds (which he doesnt). Blarg. This time I got a decent worker and after they had been called at least 8 times for various things (the above stuff, as well as due to my neighbor calling anytime my 3 year old has a fit. Thanks.), I was referred to some other program. Its annoying, but at least they dont knitpick.

I sincerly hope that your neighbors child is a little escape artist in a few years too. *evil laugh*


Yeah, cps workers are just people, there are reasonable, rational ones and thier are self important unreasonable incompetent ones and God help you if you get the latter. One of my sisters did and was told flat out that "I will do everything in my power to make sure you never get "S" back becuase he belongs with his own kind". His "own kind" meant black, since he was mixed. She got her white child back. Her other son has spent the last ten years in fostercare hell no matter what we do. I was told flat out that I couldnt have him for the same reason, he needs to be with his own kind. If my sister were such a bad mother, why did she get her older child back? And if shes fit to parent him, why not the younger one? Doesnt make sense.

Quote:



Originally Posted by *laohaire*


I definitely would not have called CPS (nor would it have crossed my mind) but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have grabbed the kid either unless there was imminent danger (kid about to run out onto a street with traffic, for instance).

Everything I've experience in real life, and everything I've read here on MDC, reinforces the point - you do NOT touch or interfere with another person's child.

Frankly I think that even in the case of imminent danger I would more likely than not have to deal with consequences (i.e. I think most parents would yell at me for grabbing a child even in dire circumstances) but that's a risk I'm willing to take when the danger is that great.

It sucks and I hate it but that's just my experience. You never touch another child, unless you know them/their parents well. So, yes, I would be one of those people watching a pregnant woman trying to run after her kid too.



Quote:



Originally Posted by *Swan3*


Mine's a runner and just the other day took off on me, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and COULD.NOT.KEEP.UP. I did run (sort of run) past lots of people pointing and laughing though. Grrr. In that case if someone had physically stopped her I probably would have thanked them profusely, but that's me!



Quote:



Originally Posted by *bebebradford*


I understand your concern, but honestly.. I am always helping other moms with their kids. .. ESP at stores! I'll see a child running away and a mom far behind so I'll just semi block the child and make eye contact with the mom to let her know I'm friendly. LOL I live in a southern town, and the attitude is pretty laid back here. If a child is alone, looks like it could be in danger, etc I always try to help out. If the parent gets mad.. well, I won't loose sleep over it. I just believe Children are precious, and that maternal instinct kicks in.



Quote:



Originally Posted by *ninsk*


All these things really make me sad here in America. People are frozen with fear, paranoid and over protective. I am originally from Russia and children run free with other kids playing in the street. neighbours talk to neighbours and help each other out.

I recently read a sad real story that had happened in GB, I believe. A toddler girl walked away from the kindergarden. The farmer passed by in a truck and didn't stop. he feared people would think he's a pedofile. The girl walked right into the pond and drawned. This is what happens when we are afraid to do the right thing because the culture tell us the opposite.

In my opinion, CPS is given too much power. i have heard of families ruined because of CPS intervention, children taken away from wonderful parents, parents on trials because of the CPS allegations. This system is not working well, something has to change.


To all of the above: my four year old is my runner. Picture this: walmart, really really crowed, he takes off at a dead run and dd wanting to help yells, "Ill catch him!" and takes off after him, causing him to break into peals of laughter as he runs even faster. I grab my two year old becuase I cant just leave him unattended and ditch the cart, purse and all and take off at a dead run after them. Lugging the two year old which is seriously slowing me down. We run through the entire store, across, up then across again until he was getting so close to the door that I was in a dead panic, I mean terror but I could not catch him. Everyone stopped to watch. Finally, I dont know why, he just stopped, I couldnt even grab him, I had to stand there panting, my heart was pounding so hard it literally hurt, I couldnt catch my breath. I was crying. If anyone had grabbed him and stopped him, I would have KISSED them!! I was running blindly thorugh walmart for the love of God, how could all those people not see that I needed help? Had someone called cps because I was "letting" him run through the store I just dont know what I'd do.

Quote:



Originally Posted by *ginadc*


You don't have to grab a running child--at least a small one--to put the brakes on. I probably would not grab another person's child, as in physically put my hands on them, unless it meant literally pulling them out of traffic. But I would and have stopped kids racing away from their parents into harm's way.

Actually, when we were down in Savannah meeting Annika's birthmom for the first time--she was about 8 months pregnant--we were all going out for Mexican food and as we crossed the gravel parking lot, a boy of about two or three sped in my direction. His mom was running after him but she was in heels and he was f.a.s.t. No way was I going to grab a stranger's child, but I just planted myself in front of him in a basketball-style blocking maneuver and in a playful way said, "Now just where do you think you're going? I think your mommy's back there!" He stopped, stared at me like I was a crazy lady, and then looked back in time to see his mom catch up to us and grab him. She was relieved and grateful.

So it's not like their only alternatives were "grab child" or "call police." There are options other than those extremes. Especially since there were two of them, one of them could have tried to head the 2.5-year-old off while the other ran to get purplemoon. Instead, they were *both* busily calling the cops. How stupid and unhelpful.


Plus, in the ops story, this was a neighbor, perhaps not a best friend, but not a total stranger. I would have no problem stopping a familiar child. Well, or anychild.

I think its sad we wont help each other. Of course when I was eight months (and very obviously) pregnant with my first child I slipped in a spill at the grocery store and FELL. I sat there in the floor while the other shoppers walked around me and made a point not to make eye contact. So I had to figure out how to scoot somewhere with enough support for me to pull myself up with. How could they just walk around me and not one person offered to help me up?


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## purplemoon (Sep 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Anglyn* 
Both of the above posts kind of make a lot of assumptions about people based on income. Perhaps kids in too small clothes have loving parents who are struggling yet still cant make ends meet and would welcome some help in for the form of hand me downs or help filling out applications for foodstamps or maybe they need help paying the waterbill to get it turned back on so that they can bathe thier children. It scares me when we assume that poverty equals neglect. And middle class families often are just better at covering up neglect and abuse when it is present.

Yeah, cps workers are just people, there are reasonable, rational ones and thier are self important unreasonable incompetent ones and God help you if you get the latter. One of my sisters did and was told flat out that "I will do everything in my power to make sure you never get "S" back becuase he belongs with his own kind". His "own kind" meant black, since he was mixed. She got her white child back. Her other son has spent the last ten years in fostercare hell no matter what we do. I was told flat out that I couldnt have him for the same reason, he needs to be with his own kind. If my sister were such a bad mother, why did she get her older child back? And if shes fit to parent him, why not the younger one? Doesnt make sense.

To all of the above: my four year old is my runner. Picture this: walmart, really really crowed, he takes off at a dead run and dd wanting to help yells, "Ill catch him!" and takes off after him, causing him to break into peals of laughter as he runs even faster. I grab my two year old becuase I cant just leave him unattended and ditch the cart, purse and all and take off at a dead run after them. Lugging the two year old which is seriously slowing me down. We run through the entire store, across, up then across again until he was getting so close to the door that I was in a dead panic, I mean terror but I could not catch him. Everyone stopped to watch. Finally, I dont know why, he just stopped, I couldnt even grab him, I had to stand there panting, my heart was pounding so hard it literally hurt, I couldnt catch my breath. I was crying. If anyone had grabbed him and stopped him, I would have KISSED them!! I was running blindly thorugh walmart for the love of God, how could all those people not see that I needed help? Had someone called cps because I was "letting" him run through the store I just dont know what I'd do.

Plus, in the ops story, this was a neighbor, perhaps not a best friend, but not a total stranger. I would have no problem stopping a familiar child. Well, or anychild.

I think its sad we wont help each other. Of course when I was eight months (and very obviously) pregnant with my first child I slipped in a spill at the grocery store and FELL. I sat there in the floor while the other shoppers walked around me and made a point not to make eye contact. So I had to figure out how to scoot somewhere with enough support for me to pull myself up with. How could they just walk around me and not one person offered to help me up?

Those stories just make me sad. I wish my story (and the types like it) were unique. Sadly, the world isn't as kind as I would like it to be.


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

It is ridiculous. All is well that ends well. A good friend of mine had a funny experience. Her six year old daughter answered the door for the pizza delivery guy and told him that her mommy was not home. Of course, Mommy was home, upstairs, and did not know the pizza guy was there (the daughter was waiting for the pizza and he never had the chance to ring the bell).

Well, the pizza guy called the police. My friend opened the door, expecting the pizza guy. The police said they got a call for child neglect. ROFL!

The pizza guy was probably some pitiful inexperienced teenager trying to do the right thing. Luckily, the police dropped it at that point.


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