# Its stinky TMI



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

uke Does anyone else get pretty stinky "down there": during pregnancy?

It sucks....dh says he doesnt mind and that it happens every time I get pregnant but I find it gross.

Is there a reason other than hormones?


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## Lalaith (Aug 29, 2007)

I have noticed it from time to time. I feel embarrassed even admitting it!

It's only started recently. I thought maybe it was because I am not able to wipe as effectively, because my big belly is in the way. But I don't think that's what it is. Maybe sweat? EEEW. GAG!

I've just been washing. A lot. And also...this is embarrassing, but you know those little gyno sanitary wipes you can get when you have to pee in a cup? My midwives have a big basket of them in the washroom at the office, and I just grab a big handful of them everything I'm there and put them in my purse.







They're good for a quick freshening up.

I can't believe I'm saying any of this!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I feel pretty stinky lately. It's embarrassing. To get a little more TMI, there is absolutely no way that I am letting any oral sex stuff go on for the rest of this pregnancy. I know he loves me and all but I don't think I can deal with having his face down there knowing that I can barely handle my own smell. He doesn't get why I'm making such a big deal about it.

Also, my pee smells. REALLY BAD. And the bathroom smells for a couple minutes after I've peed. If I've peed right before we're about to brush our teeth together, and he walks towards the bathroom, I herd him out yelling "DON'T GO IN THERE! IT SMELLS LIKE HOW STINKY I AM."


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## mama_b (Dec 14, 2004)

OMG, yes! I don't know what to do about it. I wash myself multiple times a day and it doesn't help. I also change my underwear about 3 times a day. It's so gross. Glad to see I'm not alone.


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

I'm a neurotic crotch washer every day. And I never let dh anywhere near it until I have.

I am SO not a fan of my Down There during pregnancy.


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## Lalaith (Aug 29, 2007)

Hey nobody ever warns you about THIS part of pregnancy, do they?

I'm glad we're all in this stinky boat together.

Might as well get even more TMI by building on MmeMuffin's comments. I fart every time I pee for whatever reason, so the bathroom is doubly stinky after I've left it. DH has this amazing ability to need to go in the bathroom right after I've been in there, so I light a few matches and that seems to do the trick. I'm pretty OCD about washing after I poop, so in my non-pregnant life, I always poop in the morning before my shower, but I'm a poop machine this pregnancy, so it's getting ridiculous, and sometimes it's not convenient to have a quick shower after every poo. I need a bidet.


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lalaith* 
I need a bidet.

I said the EXACT same thing. But I also can barely reach my own ass, so... Also, I'm jealous that you're a poop machine. Poop is a big struggle over here, resulting in much constipation frustration. Okay, how's this for TMI? Yesterday I could NOT get this poop out. It felt like it was sideways - like the long part was laying across and thus I couldn't get it out. All I could think was... "My poo is transverse and I can't get it to turn." It took me 45 minutes. At least I had a really good book...

I fart all the time, pregnant or not, but the smell is WAY WORSE now. My husband will cheerfully tell me how "rank" or "rancid" they are. "Ew, babe! It smells like your farts are AGED! Like the baby is kicking farts out of you that have been there for TEN YEARS!!!" Thanks babe, I love you too.

I'm glad you guys all feel smelly too because I feel gross and meant to post a thread but kept forgetting. I am no longer alone in my shame. Well, maybe I will be now after this particular post, but... whatever.


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Gosh it's so gross (do I sound five?) not only is it a different smell but there's extra. I went out last night and bought scented panty liners.

I've been using my diaper sprayer (holy cold!) to freshen up almost every visit to the potty.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I wonder if it could be candida....I should start my probiotics....and let you know.

I dont want to take any more meds though! I HATE TAKING PILLS AND STUFF! (probiotic is a liquid but I still hate it.)


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## stellimamo (Jan 9, 2006)

I got th funk going on too.







It's driving me crazy.


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## Lalaith (Aug 29, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
"My poo is transverse and I can't get it to turn."









OWWW!! Don't make me laugh that hard, you're making me fart!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I fart all the time, pregnant or not, but the smell is WAY WORSE now. My husband will cheerfully tell me how "rank" or "rancid" they are. "Ew, babe! It smells like your farts are AGED! Like the baby is kicking farts out of you that have been there for TEN YEARS!!!" Thanks babe, I love you too.

No kidding. The other day I tooted and DH said, "Wow, that fart smells OLD." He has the stinkiest farts ever, but it's getting alarming because mine are starting to out-stink his. Even he feels put to shame by the power of mine. Luckily, he's deeply immature so every time I fart, he laughs and exclaims, "DEARRRR!!" In some ways I guess it's good that boys never grow up.


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Oh, I'm stinky in so many ways. My underarms aren't any better than the neither regions. And, oh, the gas.







For some reason, I burp and poot for an enterinty when I lay down at night.

My dd just left the room b/c of the smell.









Christa


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

LOL ladies. Pregnancy is so glamourous.

Luckily (or not) my dh isnt really an oral kind of guy. Oh yes, he wants it but no, he doesnt dish it out so I dont have to worry about that.
















Mabye if he were I wouldnt keep getting knocked up.









I love farting on dh all the time. He drinks soda and beer so he is quite gassy and its nice to give a little back.









Jenny


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Major grossness u guys!

I'm stinky too. I think I pee myself all day long.


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## Lalaith (Aug 29, 2007)

Hehehe everyone! This thread just keeps getting more amusing the grosser it gets. Weird!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

LOL. Best. Thread. Ever. We totally win.


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
LOL. Best. Thread. Ever. We totally win.









I almost woke my son up laughing at that


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

OMG. I smell so bad. I can't even stand to be in the same room as myself. I stink down there, I stink in my armpits. I even started wearing deodorant and I still stink. I normally shower every other day or so, now I am showering sometimes 2x a day because I smell so bad.

Sorry to say it, but I'm glad I'm not the only one!







: I was starting to think I was a freak.







:


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

Stinky here too, what is up with this!?


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## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

Oh. My. Gosh. You are all just killing me! I LOVE TMI threads! And I love you ladies (can I still call you ladies after all this???







) for sharing!


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## miss_nikki (Jan 21, 2007)

I get a smell down there too. I think it's gross and it makes me a bit self conscious. The thing is I keep things pretty clean down there so I try to remind myself it's just part of my pregnancy.


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## wake_up (Aug 1, 2007)

I've always been a farter, so that's not a new idea around here. And DH remarked the other day that he likes my "new smell" down there... maybe I'm just lucky to have a yoni that smells like roses?








or a DH with a broken smeller... maybe all those farts over the years have worn out his olfactory system?!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Its werid too cause it doesnt smell "the same" nasty-its all different nasty smells!









I dont like the sour milk one the most.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

I so thought I was the only one! I also have weird discharge. I'm really anal (no pun intended) about cleaning after going to the bathroom-but I still get discharge as if I didn't wipe after peeing.

Can I also mention my stinky breath? No matter how much I brush my teeth my mouth smells horrible! My feet stink too! I don't know why!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Hormones are a b****!!!!


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## minsca (Jun 25, 2007)

It sounds like we are all in the same boat. I'm so self conscious about my new 'smell' that seems to radiate. But so far no one else has commented on it. There is no way that I allow DH down there unless I have just, and I mean just! washed up.

Thanks for the laughs though... and helping me feel normal.


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## HappyFox05 (Apr 11, 2007)

I've read that the smell down there is because our flora changes once we become pregnant. I used to get a slightly similar smell one or two days before my period started.

My farts are stinky too, though DH is still the champ. After living in an RV park for two years, we have a name for the worst ones - "tank dump".


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

omg stop calling it "down there" please!!!!!!11111oneoneoenoene

It's a vagina! You're old enough to use it (landing you in this DDC) so you should be able to type the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111















:

Whew ok, now that I got that out...

Sorry kids, I don't stink. Must be a meat eater thing and I'm a clean little vegan














But oh how I second the bidet wishes! Things are just hard to reach! I was constipated for a while, but I now start my day with hot tea and several glasses of water before eating anything and woosh! No more constipation.


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## HappyFox05 (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
omg stop calling it "down there" please!!!!!!11111oneoneoenoene

It's a vagina! You're old enough to use it (landing you in this DDC) so you should be able to type the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111















:

Whew ok, now that I got that out...

Sorry kids, I don't stink. Must be a meat eater thing and I'm a clean little vegan














But oh how I second the bidet wishes! Things are just hard to reach! I was constipated for a while, but I now start my day with hot tea and several glasses of water before eating anything and woosh! No more constipation.

Lol, sorry! But it is down in relation to my head (though I can't see it, I know it's still there).

I think it's ironic that I'm not having any reaching problems, at least not w/wiping (like I said, I can't really see down there anymore), and I'm probably the only person in our DDC who has a bidet. My crazy, ultra-modern, digital, Korean apartment rocks! The toilet in the master bath even has a heated seat and a butt blow dryer!


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Diva mama this vegetarian is having similar problems.  SO NEENER. Must be the cheese









And in the words of my son it's a "DYNA" : lol he also has a nenis. I love toddler words.


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## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

I have the same issue and I have every time. The closer to delivery the worse it gets. Now I can't even open my legs without the smell permeating the area around me!!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
Sorry kids, I don't stink. Must be a meat eater thing

Never eaten meat in my life, and I'm still stinky. My family's been vegetarian for hundreds of years. Guess you're just lucky.


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## mamakins (May 14, 2005)

I totally have had this problem before and I think I figured out what it is for me. I think that when I'm pg, Dh and I have sex and he doesn't pull out, (b/c I can't get pg







) And I think that the -ahem- semen have some funky reaction with my hooney and it creates this awful stink. Soooo, now that I don't let him do that in me anymore, no more stink. HTH!!!


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
omg stop calling it "down there" please!!!!!!11111oneoneoenoene

It's a vagina! You're old enough to use it (landing you in this DDC) so you should be able to type the word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111















:

Whew ok, now that I got that out...


DUDE. The word vagina is BORING!







"My Down There" is _FUNNY!!_ But technically speaking, it's my VULVA that I'm not a big fan of during pregnancy, my vajayjay is just fine.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zjande* 
DUDE. The word vagina is BORING!







"My Down There" is _FUNNY!!_ But technically speaking, it's my VULVA that I'm not a big fan of during pregnancy, my vajayjay is just fine.









I thought it was a yeti yoni!







:


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## zjande (Nov 4, 2002)

Well yes, my *Down There* is otherwise known as The Yeti Yoni.







It has many names. hahaaha!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *zjande* 
It has many names. hahaaha!

Here too! I'll freely use the words vagina, vajingo, vajayjay, vag, cooter, crotch, girly bits, "there," "down there," lady parts, etc. But I never use the word yoni... I should start. It hails from my culture, actually.

I've met quite a few guys named Yoni, since it's short for Yonatan (a form of Jonathan), and it always makes me giggle because I am apparently a 6th grader disguised as a 20-something.


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
I'm probably the only person in our DDC who has a bidet. My crazy, ultra-modern, digital, Korean apartment rocks! The toilet in the master bath even has a heated seat and a butt blow dryer!

Okay that's it. I'm pooping at your place from now on. BUTT BLOW DRYER? Sign me up!


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## HumbleLuna (Jul 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nursingmama05* 
Diva mama this vegetarian is having similar problems.  SO NEENER. Must be the cheese









And in the words of my son it's a "DYNA" : lol he also has a nenis. I love toddler words.

My little brother used to say Pagina. And for dd it's Bagina. Nenis is really sweet though, aww. When dd was a baby we called her nethers her Puskernilly. Nill for short. The word Vagina seems to gruff for a wee lass.


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## Sihaya (Jul 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
Sorry kids, I don't stink. Must be a meat eater thing and I'm a clean little vegan
















Don't think so. Carnivore here with no stinkies







: Either that, or I just have a really bad sense of smell (with as sensitive as I am to every _other_ smell, I doubt it!)


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sihaya* 
Don't think so. Carnivore here with no stinkies







: Either that, or I just have a really bad sense of smell (with as sensitive as I am to every _other_ smell, I doubt it!)









:


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Yup, I am a stinker too! I had mostly attributed that to my recent yoni problems, but the smell of my extra juiciness can be pungent. To add to it, I am very sweaty as of late, so I slather on the pit stick, and baby powder under my milk jugs (seriously, my husband and I marvel at how BIG and heavy my breasts are now) Boob sweat...eww! so unsexy


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## *Erin* (Mar 18, 2002)

this is possibly the grossest and funniest thread ever!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I said the EXACT same thing. But I also can barely reach my own ass, so... Also, I'm jealous that you're a poop machine. Poop is a big struggle over here, resulting in much constipation frustration. Okay, how's this for TMI? Yesterday I could NOT get this poop out. It felt like it was sideways - like the long part was laying across and thus I couldn't get it out. All I could think was... "My poo is transverse and I can't get it to turn." It took me 45 minutes. At least I had a really good book...

I fart all the time, pregnant or not, but the smell is WAY WORSE now. My husband will cheerfully tell me how "rank" or "rancid" they are. "Ew, babe! It smells like your farts are AGED! Like the baby is kicking farts out of you that have been there for TEN YEARS!!!" Thanks babe, I love you too.

I'm glad you guys all feel smelly too because I feel gross and meant to post a thread but kept forgetting. I am no longer alone in my shame. Well, maybe I will be now after this particular post, but... whatever.

omg,







transverse poo, i'm so there too!! it sucks!
i've started taking daily colace, and that's helped. not the poots though, still FULL of gas. my dd will laugh and run away from me shouting "GAH MAMA what's up with those RANCID poots!? what have you been eating!" my dh thinks it's hilarious and laughs heartily at each foul gaseous emission.

as for down-yonder, it's the wild and ungroomed punani jungle...i can't reach or see so i'm scared of going in blindly with my razor or scissors.

my poor bush reeks like body oder. guh. i have placed containers of cottenelle flushable wipes in each bathroom, because i don't have but long for a bidet and a HINEY DRYER!

i change my undies about 200 times a day. i don't remember this particular facet of pregnancy from last time. maybe i blocked it out. dh is fine, and insists i am fresh as summer rain (which i am by the time he is anywhere in the vicinity). which is good, b/c the thought of giving up some of the INCREDIBLE orgasms i'm having would make me very sad indeed.


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)




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## HappyFox05 (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
BUTT BLOW DRYER? Sign me up!

Man, maybe I should start using that thing. I feel like I'm letting you down. If only the controls weren't all in Korean. I don't like pushing buttons related to my bum w/o knowing exactly what's going to happen.


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## Azuluna (Jun 26, 2006)

Holy Sh*t, that Transverse Poop post is the funniest thing I've read for ages!!! I had to clap my hand over my mouth lest I wake the whole house...

I was crashing your DDC to admire belly pics - I've got TWW insomnia, so of course I gotta stalk the DDCs! I'm a sucka for a good old fashioned TMI thread, and this one did not disappoint. Rock on December mamas


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lalaith* 
I need a bidet.

i am totally with you ladies. there is no amount of clean underwear in the world right now.

and i call my flushable scott wipes "the poor man's bidet" - i HIGHLY recommmend them!!!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
i am totally with you ladies. there is no amount of clean underwear in the world right now.

and i call my flushable scott wipes "the poor man's bidet" - i HIGHLY recommmend them!!!

I use baby wipes. Every time dh tries to be intimate, I have to escape real quick and clean up.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

this thread needs to be changed to "Really Nasty Stuff No One Told You about Pregnancy." LMAO ladies.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I can't BELIEVE I missed this thread!!!









Especially since I prolly out-stink all of you! Never had a transverse turd though......but I've had several occasions where I've looked around the bathroom and wondered what tool might be within reach that I could repurpose for a "log remover".....hmmm, emery board? Nah, too scratchy. Plastic hanger? Definitely potential there, but I caaaan't. quiiiiite. reeeeeach it....

Luckily, the extra straining seemed to help the situation!







(I have waited 4 years for a reason to use that smilie!







)

And, I have no trouble using the word vagina (or yoni, or vulva, or anus....wow, I can even say penis and scrotum!) but in this case, "down there" is much more appropriate, in that it encompasses all of the aforementioned areas, as well as all areas south of my brain which might be contributing to the stench....including but not limited to: mouth, pits, underboobs, under belly (PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one to have this particular area of stench??), all the aforementioned acreage, and let us not forget the feet! I threw out a pair of leather sandals the other day because there was just no hope for them!









Oh, and of course there's the another strongly related factor--increased nose ability. Yep, not only do I smell worse by all accounts, but I'm also smelling myself sooner, stronger, and for far longer than ever before! And other people too....I can guess where dh has been for lunch when he comes home, and unless he's just brushed his teeth, kissing can send me into dry heaves! And I guarantee *he's* not abnormally stinky!

And oral is O-U-T. Too bad....but even a full body bath followed by deodorant, lotion, powder and every other sniffable substance known to man could not cover up my gaseousness, nor my unexplainable urge to just let one r-i-i-i-i-p! every time we start to get intimate....

"You want to do WHAT dear?? Are you insane, or merely suicidal??"









But gosh, i sure do appreciate the sentiment! And the fact that you don't see the need to follow me around the house with a can of air freshener!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I pretty much want to link to this thread any time anyone who's never been pregnant asks me what it's like. Or any time anyone at all asks me how I'm feeling.


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## mama_b (Dec 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I use baby wipes. Every time dh tries to be intimate, I have to escape real quick and clean up.









I'm so stinky that baby wipes don't even work. I have to get in the bath and wash with soap. Thankfully, dh doesn't seem to be bothered by my horrible stinkiness, but I still wash anyway before we do anything.


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_b* 
I'm so stinky that baby wipes don't even work. I have to get in the bath and wash with soap. Thankfully, dh doesn't seem to be bothered by my horrible stinkiness, but I still wash anyway before we do anything.

I've never tried baby wipes, but I do usually do a little mini-wash with a washcloth before we are intimate. Luckily, my DH is a carpenter and its been so hot here lately that he often has some strong smelling armpits.







So we're just a dirty stinky couple.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_b* 
I'm so stinky that baby wipes don't even work. I have to get in the bath and wash with soap. Thankfully, dh doesn't seem to be bothered by my horrible stinkiness, but I still wash anyway before we do anything.

At this point, with 2 kids running around and a frazzled SAHM wife who is 7 months pregnant, my dh feels happy that he is getting anything at all from me sexually!


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## Brees_Mama (Apr 15, 2007)

gotta add to the TMI factor here.....the other day it took me 30min to poop....I could FEEL it sticking out but was so dern constipated that I couldn't hardly get it out! I walked around a bit, leaned back, leaned forward and after what seemed like forever I got it out







I was panicking!

As for the stink factor~yep I got that too. For the longest time I'd have to plug my nose so I could pee!


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## Brees_Mama (Apr 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamakins* 
I totally have had this problem before and I think I figured out what it is for me. I think that when I'm pg, Dh and I have sex and he doesn't pull out, (b/c I can't get pg







) And I think that the -ahem- semen have some funky reaction with my hooney and it creates this awful stink. Soooo, now that I don't let him do that in me anymore, no more stink. HTH!!!

omg thats the worse! if i dont bathe after sex i get allllllllllll smelly







and i have discharge (semen + pg discharge) for DAYS afterwards!!!!! ewwwwww


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## MCKH (Jun 26, 2006)

Yikes!!! I don't have any odor issues here (and hey, I eat meat every single day), but I definitely have a new respect for OBs if this is common among pregnant women!


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MCKH* 
Yikes!!! I don't have any odor issues here (and hey, I eat meat every single day), but I definitely have a new respect for OBs if this is common among pregnant women!

Which is why everyone besides your (general your) partner should be staying the heck out of your crotch.


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Okay, I've started getting stinky under the boobs because I'm so sweaty there! I'm not leaking but it looks like I am when I wake up from sweat marks on my shirts!

And I'm newly lactose intolerant. I didn't realize that until this week since both times I've drank milk have left me with uncontrollable diarrhea for hours afterward. :x No more milk for me!


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

My once perky boobs have gone south with the extra weight







:

I now have to lift them in the shower to get rid of the stink under there.

And MY BOOBS ARE RESTING ON MY BELLY!!!!!!!!!

I must be quite a naked sight. I can't reach my feet to give myself a pedicure so my heels are cracked, and you can forget about painted toenails. My belly is huge, my yeti yoni which I can't see anymore-with it's gross discharge-and my big ole boobs resting on the belly!!!! Not to mention the stinky breath that I can't get rid of no matter how much I brush my teeth, and my stinky feet.

I think I want to go live in a bubble.......


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## cj'smommy (Aug 14, 2003)

I'm not in your DDC ladies, but you are cracking me up!









The DDDC possibilities are endless here, but alas I don't have enough $$ to do all that are running around in my head.









So far, no stinkies here but it's early yet.


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

I guess the one benefit to having a stuffy nose is I can't smell myself anymore. But yesterday my 3.5 year old ran away from me holding his nose and laughing hysterically because I farted.







: "Mama! You smell like poo!" Thanks Danny.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
I think I want to go live in a bubble.......

You CAN'T be serious?!?!? I mean, i can see how that might be considerate to _other_ people, but can you just imagine the air quality inside the bubble??

They'd call haz-mat to come and dispose of you! (I'm thinking of the scene from Monster's Inc....







)


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
You CAN'T be serious?!?!? I mean, i can see how that might be considerate to _other_ people, but can you just imagine the air quality inside the bubble??

They'd call haz-mat to come and dispose of you! (I'm thinking of the scene from Monster's Inc....







)

Your right! I need to be aired out once in a while!


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## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
uke Does anyone else get pretty stinky "down there": during pregnancy?

It sucks....dh says he doesnt mind and that it happens every time I get pregnant but I find it gross.

Is there a reason other than hormones?

OMG! im so glad you posted and YOU ARE NOT ALONE this is my 3rd pregnancy and YES there is a distinct differnt strong oder down there no matter how much I wash or shave my doc said ( during first pregnancy I was crazy) but now that I'm on my third I know I'm not. I wont even let DH have oral sex w/ me because I'm so concerned about it. Well at least I know it will go away in 10 more weeks!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Is there a "Best Thread Ever" nomination somewhere? Seriously. This is my favorite thread in the entire universe.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaint thread or the TMI thread. Because it is definitely both!









I have a horribly painful zit on my patootie, right next to my anus. It is huge, and full of pus and needs to be drained....but the mere thought of the accompanying pain has my nether-cheeks whimpering.


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

SheBear, I've suffered with those...you have my sympathies. I found that a really hot washcloth helps with the pain and helps bring it to a head so that it drains easier. Make sure to keep it really really clean once it opens and drains...I think the last time I had one I used a little TTO on it to disinfect.

Hope you feel better soon.

Christa


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Thanks, Christa!







I thought about tto, but past (painful!) exp makes me _reeeeally_ not want to use tto that close to my anus!









ATM, I have a cotton pad soaked with witch hazel on it. Maybe tonight I'll be able to get a hot bath with epsom salt!


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## mama..me?? (Jun 27, 2007)

im not in your ddc but ive been dying to talk to someone about this!! the stink is the most distgusting thng about pregnancy and i so embarrassed!! o thank g-d for mdc!!!


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaint thread or the TMI thread. Because it is definitely both!









I have a horribly painful zit on my patootie, right next to my anus. It is huge, and full of pus and needs to be drained....but the mere thought of the accompanying pain has my nether-cheeks whimpering.

















Oh my gosh, SheBEar! ME TOO! I almost called the Dr. about it- it was so painful! I thought it was a hemhorroid- but mine popped on it's own a few nights ago- EWWWW!!!







I can't BELIEVE I'm admitting this to anyone!








You girls, and this thread- are the BEST EVER!







:
And though I haven't been extra smelly 'Down There' yet- I have been so ridiculously juicy that it makes me cringe to imagine my Man going anywhere near it- seriously- he would need a wetsuit! And EVERYTHING else (except for my over abundance of scentless gas) is smelly. Just not my Wazoo. Yet.
Seriously though- Can I talk about my gaseous booty? SHEESH- MY MUSICAL BUTT! How can that much wind be CONTAINED inside one chick? I fart ALL DAY LONG- and no matter how hard I try, I can't keep them quiet! They are so enourmously loud, people give me that, "Did that come out of YOU?" Look- like 10 times a day! The wierd part is- the are completely odorless! (Really! they don't smell at ALL!) but try telling that to the prudish old lady next to me in the grocery store- who looked at me in horror and nearly RAN out the door when I accidently let one rip next to her!







(I've never seen someone with a walker move so fast!)







I felt so bad- I wanted to call after her that they don't smell, but she was long gone. Oh Well.







: She wouldn't have believed me anyway.
By the way- living in a house with 2 teenagers and a grown man when your farts have no stink is actually really lame- it's like I'm shooting blanks! They nail me all the time with their stinkers- and all I can do is make a LOT of noise in return...which just makes my 13 year old son Laugh his butt off and call me the 'impotent farter'. *sigh*


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I wasn't sure whether to put this in the complaint thread or the TMI thread. Because it is definitely both!









I have a horribly painful zit on my patootie, right next to my anus. It is huge, and full of pus and needs to be drained....but the mere thought of the accompanying pain has my nether-cheeks whimpering.









I had some kind of zit on my butt cheek during and after my 1st pregnancy for about 8 months. weird. Hormones. I cant see my butt so I dont know if it left a mark.









*Page 4 and going strong on the grossest thread ever!!!!*


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

OK-how is this for gross- I just peed and missed! I looked down and there were little drops on my underwear. I'm going to have to start carrying around underwear because of bad aim. Yuck!


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
OK-how is this for gross- I just peed and missed! I looked down and there were little drops on my underwear. I'm going to have to start carrying around underwear because of bad aim. Yuck!

OMG, I did that the other day.







: I didn't realize that the back part of my pants wasn't really pulled down all the way and I peed all over my underwear and pants. The worst part is that as soon as I pulled my pants up, I realized it, but it was the middle of the night so I left them on. Then I got back into bed and decided I was the nastiest girl on earth so I got back up and changed my pants/underwear.







:


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Oh and another pee story - About a month ago, DH and I took the kids to the playground in our neighborhood and while we were there, I sneezed and peed myself! I was wearing shorts, so there was a little dribble of pee down my leg. I had to walk home like that to change my clothes. And my thighs got all chaffed so for the rest of the day I was walking all bowlegged.







:


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

this thread is making the baseball playoff marathon happening in my house much more bearable - thank you ladies!

i also recently popped a pootie zit. totally disgusting. but a soak in a warm tub definitely helped it along!!!!

when will this heat end? it is not helping my stink situation!


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## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Dear sweet Jesus ladies - this thread was what made me decide I needed to start posting in this community. LOVE YOU ALL!

I've only admitted the foulness in my nether-regions to my best friend, and she hadn't had the same experience, so she just laughed at me.

Fortunately, baby wipes DO take away the odor - temporarily - so oral sex is A-ok in my book, I just scrub up whenever I feel amorous! (Plus, Tom has a weak nose, lucky man.)

Thanks for giving me my belly laugh for the day - and for making me feel not so alone in my first pregnancy


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Welcome to the StinkFest, Dionnakay!

I am AWFUL! Ok, so we have the cat boxes in the livingroom as there is no other place to put them (Husband changes the litter every third day since before we even were TTC) Our large Russian Blue likes to use them either right as we are eating (no diningroom in our little apt) or right after we are done eating, and she STINKS. Like bad enough to make me heave. So yesterday, when I was at my smelliest gas, and right after she had eaten, I let one go right.in.her.face!! Aahh sweet revenge.

Being smelly does have its' perks.

(no animals were harmed in the making of this story, as 10 minutes later, afore mentioned cat was curled up next to me and purring)


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Speaking of peeing...have you tried to pee in a cup for that silly urine sample? My midwife only does them a couple of times, but geesh, I can't get it in the cup. It goes all over the side and my hand and everywhere. And last time my dd was with me and she kept asking me why I was peeing in a cup! I wipe the cup off as best as I can, but I'm so embarassed to hand it over knowing it just had pee all over the outside...eww.

Christa


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
Speaking of peeing...have you tried to pee in a cup for that silly urine sample? My midwife only does them a couple of times, but geesh, I can't get it in the cup. It goes all over the side and my hand and everywhere. And last time my dd was with me and she kept asking me why I was peeing in a cup! I wipe the cup off as best as I can, but I'm so embarassed to hand it over knowing it just had pee all over the outside...eww.

Christa

I can't ever pee in a cup without getting it all over myself even when I'm NOT pregnant.







:


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I switched MW practices in August, and happily, these MWs have you just stick the end of a strip into your urine stream, and if the test blobs stay the same color, you can just throw it out.

I have peed all over the urine specimen cups (and my hand) in the past and always worried that I'd make my name (which I'd write on beforehand so as not to have to write it on a pee-soaked cup thus getting pee all over the pen as well) completely illegible.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I switched MW practices in August, and happily, these MWs have you just stick the end of a strip into your urine stream, and if the test blobs stay the same color, you can just throw it out.

I have peed all over the urine specimen cups (and my hand) in the past and always worried that I'd make my name (which I'd write on beforehand so as not to have to write it on a pee-soaked cup thus getting pee all over the pen as well) completely illegible.

I have done this too!! Everytime I pee in the cup I brace myself with the toilet paper. I always hope that they wear gloves when they deal with my cup-because little do they know......


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
Speaking of peeing...have you tried to pee in a cup for that silly urine sample? My midwife only does them a couple of times, but geesh, I can't get it in the cup. It goes all over the side and my hand and everywhere. And last time my dd was with me and she kept asking me why I was peeing in a cup! I wipe the cup off as best as I can, but I'm so embarassed to hand it over knowing it just had pee all over the outside...eww.

Christa

Mabye if we had a penis....I am so jealous.

I assume everyone does that, I don't see how you can really get a good "stream" going with the equipment we have.


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
I always hope that they wear gloves when they deal with my cup-because little do they know......

LOL. Seriously. I also would imagine them having clothespins over their noses or surgical masks on or something 'cause my pee does NOT smell good. It really just smells gross. I don't know why. It's so weird. I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day and usually more! My pee smells like I'm drinking nothing but coffee all the time. Makes me wanna barf. My cat loves it though and sniffs at the toilet as I get up to flush, which makes it EVEN GROSSER to me.


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## Elsaraw (Apr 25, 2007)

This thread is the funniest ever!!!!
I just let out the biggest sigh of relief that I've escaped most of the stinkiness (this is gross though... first week we lived in new house our hot water heater was broken.. I just _couldn't_ take an ice cold shower, so I didn't _the entire time_















I do spend 24/7 belching like a 400 pound frat boy at a keg party though.


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## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

I don't have a real problem peeing into the cup, but last time I dropped the cup in the floor when I was done! And not a little bit o pee, either! My MW's rug got soaked with my pee! I cleaned up best as I could, but I had to admit to her why she was going to later find her rug balled up and moved from its usual spot!


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## HappyFox05 (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 

I assume everyone does that, I don't see how you can really get a good "stream" going with the equipment we have.









I don't usually have TOO much of a problem - after 19 years of Army urinalyses, I feel like a pro. But the thing is, now, I can't see down there well enough to tell if I'm gonna make the cup. It's like some kind of cruel joke - "I know you can't see past your navel, but I'd like you to pee in this little cup (hehehehehehe)."


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I have a horribly painful zit on my patootie, right next to my anus. It is huge, and full of pus and needs to be drained....but the mere thought of the accompanying pain has my nether-cheeks whimpering.









It popped! Ick!







and also? Ahhhhh!


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Why is this thread on page 3!?!

Does anyone else's pee stink? Mine is gross. I need to drink more water to dilute it or something.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Why is this thread on page 3!?!

Does anyone else's pee stink? Mine is gross. I need to drink more water to dilute it or something.

I don't know-but it's my favorite thread so thanks for bumping it!! My pee stinks too!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

My pee smells horrific and I drink 8+ glasses a day, generally more like 12. Ugh. I can hardly stand to be in the bathroom while I go!


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
My pee smells horrific and I drink 8+ glasses a day, generally more like 12. Ugh. I can hardly stand to be in the bathroom while I go!









Me TOO! It's so foul- I hold my breath while I'm peeing for fear of inhaling the toxic mist! uke I can see the headlines now: "EXPECTANT MOTHER ASPHYXIATES FROM OWN URINE STENCH!"
















Yup- I never thought I'd have to worry about airing out the bathroom after a simple whizz! Icky! Gotta love pregnancy!









Long live the stinky TMI thread! It can never die!


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
It popped! Ick!







and also? Ahhhhh!









By the Way- CONGRATULATIONS! That has GOT to feel much better! ( I know from experience...)


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I am SO glad not to be alone with the smelly pee thing. I kept wanting to bring it up to the MW to see if it was normal, but I was too embarrassed... so I'm glad that I'm not the only one!

ETA: Ok, I moved this in from the "making it easier to pee" thread 'cause I felt that TMI was better off here. So in post 20 here, I mentioned that Alex walked in on me doing "toilet yoga" to get all the pee out, and then SheBear responded to me on the next page, and I responded to her but realized that it was pretty TMI and probably more suitable for here!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
That is SOOOOO hilarious!! I would have been mortified (and found it impossible to explain!) if my dh had walked in whilst I was in that position! I think I would have lied and said I was reaching for something!









Alex has seen way, way worse.... For example, the week that we started dating, I had just got my first Keeper (reusable menstrual cup). I didn't have my period and figured I'd try inserting it as a "dry run" so I wouldn't be bleeding the first time I tried it. Sure enough, it got stuck way up there somehow, and though I tried every tip I had heard of, I could not for the life of me get it out! Alex came over, and I was clearly upset, and didn't know what to do, so he managed to get me to explain the situation, and calmly offered to pull it out. My hero! Actually, I forgot to tell him I wasn't having my period, and he suggested he'd do it assuming that I was menstruating.

Also, I have Bigfoot poop and I have backed up toilets many a time. He has shoved me out of the way and plunged for me quite a few of these times (I tend to freeze up and FREAK OUT when this happens). So, considering how many times he's seen my gargantuan bowel movements, walking in on me doing toilet yoga ain't no thang. I do wish he'd stop telling people that my poo is the length/width of a normal person's arm, though.


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## laurap (Dec 27, 2006)

can I just agree with everyone else and leave it at that? im rotf, cant get the term "crotch washer" out of my mind.


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

MmeMuffin -- The WEEK you started DATING? He helped you remove your stuck Keeper?


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
MmeMuffin -- The WEEK you started DATING? He helped you remove your stuck Keeper?

Yes ma'am. Does that make me seem like a skanky ho? We were already doing the deed by then, so perhaps I AM a skanky ho.

We had met in October (of 02) and kind of had a very, very minor fling that lasted a couple days... then we decided to just be friends as we'd both recently come out of major relationships, but there was always something there. We became best friends, actually, and were really close when we did finally start dating in February (03).

Not so close I'd say, "Hey, would you pull this menstrual cup out of my vagina?" I mean, we were best friends, but now he was my boyfriend. And while I've certainly met plenty of feminist vagina-friendly men, I sure didn't feel comfortable asking my new boyfriend to reach into my vajingo and yank out a piece of rubber. I was extremely embarrassed that he offered. But he said it was no big deal to HIM, and wouldn't it be a lot worse to make a doc appt for something so minimal? He kind of thought it was silly for me to make such a fuss when it would take him 2 seconds and the ordeal would be over and all I'd have to do would be get over my own embarrassment and then we could go get some dinner.

Sorry for writing you a book, I'm eternally awake because I can't stop peeing.


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Not so close I'd say, "Hey, would you pull this menstrual cup out of my vagina?" I mean, we were best friends, but now he was my boyfriend. And while I've certainly met plenty of feminist vagina-friendly men, I sure didn't feel comfortable asking my new boyfriend to reach into my vajingo and yank out a piece of rubber.

laughup







: Priceless...
Reminds me of several years back- a guy I had recently met and I were returning from a hike- and he had just finished telling me how phobic of ticks he was- when he found just such a parasite attached firmly to his- um...*ahem* 'testies'!







We're talkin' waaaay back there, too- in the under/nether region on the backside of those puppies where he couldn't see to save his life! He had to ask me to remove it for him!







: It was either that or a trip to the ER to have the Drs. remove a tick from his gonads-








You should have seen him with his legs all up in the air- I was cracking up! being a Mama in the woods, I've seen my share of ticks, so it was no big deal for me- but I doubt he saw it that way! The poor guy was nearly passing out from his fear! (having a tick phobia and a girl he barely knew with tweezers up in his business...pretty nerve wracking!)
Quite an ice breaker, I tell ya'!








(And goodness- if you're a skanky ho then so am I!


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I
Alex has seen way, way worse.... For example, the week that we started dating, I had just got my first Keeper (reusable menstrual cup). I didn't have my period and figured I'd try inserting it as a "dry run" so I wouldn't be bleeding the first time I tried it. Sure enough, it got stuck way up there somehow, and though I tried every tip I had heard of, I could not for the life of me get it out! Alex came over, and I was clearly upset, and didn't know what to do, so he managed to get me to explain the situation, and calmly offered to pull it out. My hero! Actually, I forgot to tell him I wasn't having my period, and he suggested he'd do it assuming that I was menstruating.


This is priceless!!! It also reminds me of how when I was in college and dating my ex-boyfriend. We had just DTD-and used the Sponge for birth control (remember Elaine from Seinfeld???). He proved his Spongworthiness because it got stuck-we then spent the next 30 minutes trying to get this thing out! It was quite a site-I was lying on my back-and he was there with his hand up my vajajay-I was freaking out afraid that we would not be able to get it out! BTW-I probably fall into the skanky ho category too!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluesymama* 
You should have seen him with his legs all up in the air- I was cracking up! being a Mama in the woods, I've seen my share of ticks, so it was no big deal for me- but I doubt he saw it that way! The poor guy was nearly passing out from his fear! (having a tick phobia and a girl he barely knew with tweezers up in his business...pretty nerve wracking!)
Quite an ice breaker, I tell ya'!








(And goodness- if you're a skanky ho then so am I!























OH MY LORD. I am weeping with laughter.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
He proved his Spongworthiness because it got stuck-we then spent the next 30 minutes trying to get this thing out! It was quite a site-I was lying on my back-and he was there with his hand up my vajajay-I was freaking out afraid that we would not be able to get it out! BTW-I probably fall into the skanky ho category too!

I remember that from Seinfeld! Oh man, the weird things that have happened that a lot of people in our lives probably don't know... I mean, I don't know how many people know about your sponge situation or bluesymama's tick situation, but I'll tell you that certainly not a fat lot of people know about my Keeper situation. Makes you wonder what kind of weird TMI everyone else has been through....

And I'm glad I'm not the only skanky ho. When the hubs and I "started dating" I kind of mean "started sleeping together." I mean, our anniversary is the day we first had sex, 'cause we didn't really waste much time. Before then, there was tension. Then some sex, and boom we were together.


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## Grace24 (Mar 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluesymama* 
Seriously though- Can I talk about my gaseous booty? SHEESH- MY MUSICAL BUTT! How can that much wind be CONTAINED inside one chick? I fart ALL DAY LONG- and no matter how hard I try, I can't keep them quiet! They are so enourmously loud, people give me that, "Did that come out of YOU?" Look- like 10 times a day! The wierd part is- the are completely odorless! (Really! they don't smell at ALL!) but try telling that to the prudish old lady next to me in the grocery store- who looked at me in horror and nearly RAN out the door when I accidently let one rip next to her!







(I've never seen someone with a walker move so fast!)







I felt so bad- I wanted to call after her that they don't smell, but she was long gone. Oh Well.







: She wouldn't have believed me anyway.

OMG I'm not in your DDC but this is making me laugh so hard... I was wondering something: Is the relaxin hormone which is currently running around in my system causing all kinds of trouble ALSO causing my sphincter muscles to be less effective?
Because the thing is, I'm not farting as often, but I no longer have the ability to contain it! This is the REAL reason I'm on early maternity leave!









Thanks for this thread ladies, I feel so lucky to have found it!


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## Grace24 (Mar 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
This is priceless!!! It also reminds me of how when I was in college and dating my ex-boyfriend. We had just DTD-and used the Sponge for birth control (remember Elaine from Seinfeld???). He proved his Spongworthiness because it got stuck-we then spent the next 30 minutes trying to get this thing out! It was quite a site-I was lying on my back-and he was there with his hand up my vajajay-I was freaking out afraid that we would not be able to get it out! BTW-I probably fall into the skanky ho category too!

OMG that happened to me too! I had a very sweet BF at the time who "fished" it out (no pun intended) for me, and never used the dang thing again... it's the same reason I don't use diaphragms, Keeper cups, or anything else that could ever get stuck! Ack, the embarrassment!


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## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

:roflmao:

I have spent the day reading this thread and calling my sister up laughing so hard that if she didn't have caller id she'd likely think I was some dirty prank caller.


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Yes ma'am. Does that make me seem like a skanky ho? We were already doing the deed by then, so perhaps I AM a skanky ho.

I did not mean to imply that you are a skanky ho!







: I just meant .... you know .. the EMBARRASMENT factor! The first week, you're still trying to impress them and all .... and then he has to fish your keeper out of your vagina.


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Here I think we've covered absolutely everything imaginable on this thread and I find myself up in the middle of the night with trapped gas. Ow! Anyone else? I was on hands and knees at 3 a.m. praying to poot so I'd quit hurting!

Christa


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## miss_nikki (Jan 21, 2007)

My stink has cut down a bit thankfully! I don't have stinky pee, but sometimes when I'm peeing I smell that newborn smell. It's really weird. Does anyone else get that? I'm wondering if it's in my head and caused by my anticipation for the baby to come. I've been thinking a LOT about giving birth lately, although I still have a hard time imagining anything beyong giving birth. I'm pretty sure nothing aside from my extra juices and discharge is coming from the baby shoot, but I don't know why I'd be smelling newborn smell. Today I didn't smell it, it's a random thing, but sniffed the paper to see what my pee did smell like. It really didn't have much of a smell. The strange thing is, my lack of stink made me feel a little worried. If it weren't for my stinky armpits I'd start wondering what was wrong with me. With my girls I was much more gassy and my vag stink didn't go away til I had them. I'm not any gassier now than prepregnancy and it STANK! My dh would make jokes about it, and even when he didn't smell them he'd know I'd farted because I still think farts are funny and the stinkier mine are the harder I laugh. I can't seem to help myself.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Yikes, Crista! That sounds really painful!! I had a really painful bout with constipation in the middle of the night last night.







I was about ready to call dh in for moral support....I would have, too, if I hadn't feared waking ds2!









I'm still not back to normal.







Thus far, the constipation has only been mild and very intermittant....I hope that's not going to change! My mw gave me some homeopathic stuff for constipation last appt, so I've been using that today, but haven't noticed much difference yet.


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## mama_b (Dec 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
Here I think we've covered absolutely everything imaginable on this thread and I find myself up in the middle of the night with trapped gas. Ow! Anyone else? I was on hands and knees at 3 a.m. praying to poot so I'd quit hurting!

Christa

Yes! I wake up some nights SO full of gas and in SO much pain that I actually worry that something is going to rupture. Why is it that the farts fly when you don't want them to and then when you need them to come out they won't?


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

The stinky gas thing is a slow in digestion plus food combining. I find when I eat easier to digest foods in proper order through the day and don't combine foods that shouldnt be together, I don't have gas.

ie: Don't eat something heavy/starchy then 2 hours later eat fruit. The fruit will sit there and ferment and when it comes out- omg at least you'll be a little tipsy when it does!

Hmmm I haven't added anything stinky. Wiping has become its own toilet yoga adventure. Oh, and baby kicks at my intestines as i digest. If I eat something heavy, I can tell where it's traveling. And when baby kicks it along the route....

Has baby kicked you while you're peeing? That's fun to clean up.


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Can't believe I almsot forgot to post this chestnut of hillarity and grossitude:

I was incredibly constipated yesterday so this morning I drank 2 cups of tea quickly and followed that with 25oz of water. 15 minutes later? Liquid poop. For miles. I'm lucky I made it to the bathroom. I was so cleaned out, I swear I saw the remains of a purple crayon I ate in kindergarten.


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

: Diva Mama, you almost made me pee in my pants just now. Between the fermenting fruit and the purple crayon... I should just read this thread any time I have a hard time peeing!

My gas is never trapped. It's free-flowing. If I try to do it discreetly under the covers at night, invariably my husband will try and snuggle up, thus moving the air under the blankets to unleash a gust of stink-air up towards our faces, and then yelp about how smelly I am and why am I so smelly and he will hug me anyway even though I am so, so smelly. I hear the word smelly or stinky tossed at me several times a day.


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

On the skanky topic, I'll have you know I'm the local unwed mother in these here parts...the movie "Knocked Up" is basically the story of my life now. Anyway, all of page five is cracking me up. This whole thread cracked me up, but the recent stuff is too priceless.
Here's my contribution. We just started our childbirth classes last night. On the drive back, I finally confess to my boyfriend my big nagging fear of the last six months. Namely, that during childbirth another human being will see me poop.
I'm a sexually liberated third wave feminist punk girl, but I have serious hangups about admitting that the food I digest comes out the other end. I won't even use the bathroom when someone else is in the house. It's so ridiculous. I mean, I'm about to have an unmedicated, natural childbirth in which a watermelon sized fetus is about to come hurtling through my slowly expanding cervix, and seriously, another person seeing me poo is my only big fear.
Anyway, I confess this. My boyfriend gets this big evil grin on his face and he says, "Well, I know how we can level the playing field and make you feel comfortable about it. I'll give you a hot carl."
(If you don't know what that is, don't google it. Seriously, I don't want to be responsible for you having that knowledge.)
Anyway, I spent the next ten minutes giggling hysterically and for some strange reason feeling so much better.


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Ok, last night I had such awful gas that I thought I was in labor. Seriously, I woke up DH and was like, "Dan! I'm having contractions! They are really close together and they hurt like hell!"







OMG, you'd think I hadn't birthed 2 babies before and had never farted. Seriously, when it finally came out, I felt some relief.

And, for you constipated mamas - here's a tip - we went apple picking on Sunday and I ate about 40 apples and then had diarrhea all night. No constipation issues here!


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

I'm scared of pooing during labor too!!
wtf is a hot carl? I'd google it, but I'm scared of getting bombarded with strange porn popups


----------



## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

Anyone know if you are less likely to poop during labor when unmedicated? I didn't poop last time with DS, no pain meds. I wonder if it makes a difference? I forgot about that! Ugh!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I'm not in your DDC, but I've been really, really unhappy lately and I just wanted to thank you all for making life a little more bearable.









As to pooping... I've only gone into actual, normal labor once and it began with horrific vomiting and diarrhea. I couldn't have pooped during birth to save my life, as I had an experience similar to the purple crayon one. I was so utterly void of fecal matter by the time I got to the hospital that there was no bloody way I could have pooped during pushing (even if I'd gotten there).









I don't stink, either. My girly bits actually smell *better* when I'm pregnant... and this time, even my sweat does (SO different from the first...







).







: But thank you for the thread.







You should totally have it stuck in I'm Pregnant, so we can enjoy it's hilarity again and again...


----------



## bobandjess99 (Aug 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmamatobe* 
Anyway, I confess this. My boyfriend gets this big evil grin on his face and he says, "Well, I know how we can level the playing field and make you feel comfortable about it. I'll give you a hot carl."
(If you don't know what that is, don't google it. Seriously, I don't want to be responsible for you having that knowledge.)
.

OMG!








I googled it.
I couldn't help myself.
uke








I want to







my brain until that knowledge falls out.







- just for good measure.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bobandjess99* 
OMG!








I googled it.
I couldn't help myself.
uke








I want to







my brain until that knowledge falls out.







- just for good measure.

I made the mistake of reading the term aloud when a friend was visiting - we were both using our laptops. He promptly looked it up and read me a full definition, different ways it can be done, and other related terms like a "Boston crab" or something like that.

So I'm feeling you right now.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

-so now I am so tempted to google....... BUt I'm scared.








:
















EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I couldn't help myself-I googled!!!!!!








uke


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## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

Ok, I'm going to resist googling the term. The overwhelming number of hurling smilies are enough to make me accept that this is knowledge I don't want.


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Bwahahahaha, I already knew what it was before--in college we'd look up things to try and gross each other out--but I have to say I. didn't. want. to. remember. it!!!

Hot carls are up there in the grossness factor of 187263405187629435619824365189162345871629356 to the factor of 10825602834605817263405260394762093562093!!!!!!


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## miss_nikki (Jan 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CowsRock* 
Ok, I'm going to resist googling the term. The overwhelming number of hurling smilies are enough to make me accept that this is knowledge I don't want.









ditto! haha


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

I think pooping in labor depends more on when you last went than whether or not your are medicated. With my first, I had loose stools in early labor and was cleared out by the time I got to pushing. With the 2nd I'd been so constipated that I...umm...pooped in the pool at the end of labor. And you know what? I didn't even care...I was even telling them where to find the fish aquarium net to fish it out with.







(I didn't buy one specifically for the purpose...they actually used our regular net...the one we used for the aquarium







)

Christa


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I asked dh what it was....he has this strange talent of knowing all these things (would you believe I didn't even know what a "cameltoe" was until he enlightened me a few nights ago!??). I have no idea where he gets his knowledge.









But in this case, even he didn't know.....so that makes me doubly scared to find out! I am the type of person that cannot watch a scary movie alone....not even comic book type stuff (I cannot watch "Heroes" without dh!). I have a feeling that this would be a similar thing--I'd need someone nearby to help me through it!









So, since I've lived well without that knowledge for nearly 30 years now, I guess I shall resist the tug of curiosity.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

I was just on the phone with really bad heartburn. I was leaving a voice mail-and I BURPED ON THEIR VOICEMAIL!!








:







:


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
But in this case, even he didn't know.....so that makes me doubly scared to find out!

He would probably know it by its other term, "Cleveland Steamer," because I'd heard of that one before but forgot what it was and promptly remembered when my friend looked it up and explained the whole thing to me. So, if you're feeling daring, ask him what a Cleveland Steamer is.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
I was just on the phone with really bad heartburn. I was leaving a voice mail-and I BURPED ON THEIR VOICEMAIL!!








:







:

I am WEEPING with laughter.


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Karen, I laughed until I had tears! That was great!

I laugh because the other night, I turned to kiss my husband good-night and let out a man-belch right in his face! I felt so bad, but at the same time sooooo relieved!


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

You know what's really frustrating? When you run a nice, hot bath....the first real relaxing soak you've had in nearly a month. You run it deep and hot, unwrap one of the really nice bath bombs you've been hoarding, sink back and sigh deeply.....then let out a huge, lethal fart! The foulest time-bomb imaginable...the kind that makes the neighbor's dogs start barking.

Totally leveled the room. Really nice bath bomb was completely wasted...by a different kind of bomb!









And, as if that wasn't enough, 2 minutes later, I sneezed twice and pee'd a little.







So now I'm in a hot, steamy room with putrid air and pee water. Such a pleasant bathing experience. And such a difficult decision--do I just give up, drain the tub, wash my hair and mutter "we live to bathe another day," or do I shrug it off and soak in my own waste?

I can't decide whether to feel really ashamed or a tiny bit proud that I decided to soak awhile.....







:


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

This is the best thread in the world. How often do I say that? I really mean it. Farting in the shower is awful, because the stench hangs in the steamy air. I'm sure your stinky bath was relaxing, though, if it could relax such a huge toot out of ya.

So today my hubby called on his way home from work, and we often shower together when we can manage it. I told him to hurry home because I was "pungent" and really needed to be sanitized. He got home and gave me a hug and kiss and said I didn't smell that bad. I said, "Smell my armpit." And he did.

He pulled away with a DISGUSTED look and said I smelled like a Tupperware of crusty food that had been left to rot in the car overnight.

Ah, love.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

you know your DH loves you when you call him at work and ask him to bring you tums and preparation H - and not only does he not even skip a beat before saying ok, but when he brings the goodies home, they're both "extra strength" formulas!!!









and i've been wondering if my pg is having a negative impact on the environment with all the extra laundry and toilet flushing i've had to do the past couple of months.... thank goodness it's cooled down in the NE!


----------



## Sihaya (Jul 3, 2006)

Oh ladies, look here - we have a fan club!


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Woo HOO!!!!! WE are famous!!!!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

LMAO.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Ok this isnt a bodily function, but just as gross-

I just ate a extra value meal from McDonalds, french fries, chicken nuggets, and drink...

and

I am still hungry.

Starving actually.

Usually empty calories last a few minutes!!!


----------



## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

OMG that is AWESOME that we have a fan club!









I noticed that they mentioned last weeks South Park- I was afraid to mention that here because I thought it would be inappropriate...but what the hey? I have two teenagers- so South Park is a regular part of my life...

Okay- did anybody see it? When they talked about not traveling during your 'TURD TRIMESTER'- I thought I was going to die...























And the men- ooohing and ahhhing over the ultrasound of the giant poo- I couldn't help but think what excellent timing on the part of South Park! Trey Parker and Matt Stone must have been reading our thread...

Oh- and hows this for gross- last week at my midwife appt.- I forgot to use the wipey thingie before I peed in the cup- and when I looked into the cup after I peed- it was all milky with creamy discharge!!!! uke
I was HORRIFIED!!!! But I had already peed as much as I could- so I couldn't give another sample!!! I had to put that NASTY, CONTAMINATED cup of befouled cream-of-PEE-PEE in the receptacle!







I was so embarrassed! They must think I'm the queen of Crotch Funk! Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!! I guess those pubic wipies serve a purpose after all...


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

bluesymama, you are too much.

But re: the fan club: AAAUUUUUGH!!!!







:


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
Ok this isnt a bodily function, but just as gross-

I just ate a extra value meal from McDonalds, french fries, chicken nuggets, and drink...

and

I am still hungry.

Starving actually.

Usually empty calories last a few minutes!!!


Welcome to my world. I can eat, eat and eat. Yesterday I inhaled a Spinach Calzone. I could have eaten more-but I was too embarrased.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
I could have eaten more-but I was too embarrased.

I am actually rather impressed by my superhuman ability to eat.









Sometimes my jaw gets tired though.










But it sucked today because I dont have the energy to grocery shop so I sit here being hungry.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
But it sucked today because I dont have the energy to grocery shop so I sit here being hungry.

OMG that happened to me today!!!! I am sitting here at work with a Snickers ice cream bar craving-however I'm too lazy to waddle the one block it takes to go get one!!!


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Hi there to our Stinky Fanclub!









I had my husband nearly in tears today. I ended up with some pretty severe round ligament pain and went to go lay down to ease the belly pressure and my very sweet concerned husband followed me to the bed. He offered to do "something, anything" for me. I still had my tennis shoes on and I asked him to take them off for me. Lately my feet have stunk to high heaven,







and he knows it. He almost cried at me that me asking him to take my stinky shoes off was THEE worst thing I could ever ask him to do.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He took them off for me, and then tucked me into bed for a nap *sigh* I really really love my husband!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

NEVER MIND DON'T EVER READ ANYTHING I WRITE. I am too stupid for this world.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
NEVER MIND DON'T EVER READ ANYTHING I WRITE. I am too stupid for this world.

You OK? I love your posts-they make me laugh really hard. I can't imagine you writting anything stupid!!!!


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## mama_b (Dec 14, 2004)

Well, it's still hot out here and our apartment complex decided to convert over to the heating system so we have no air conditioning.







: Anyway, it was really hot last night and the only way I could stand to sleep was in my underwear. Poor dh. There were no pants or covers to trap my smelliness. I know he could smell me but he was nice and didn't say anything.







:


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

from our fanclub, i think we've been out-TMI-ed!!!!







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mosesface* 
oh wow.
i am so thankful that i got to read that thread and read choice bits of it to dh before i had my very own ridiculous stinky TMI moment yesterday afternoon.

are you people ready for this? i was not ready for this.

i've never had a very well trained colon. my whole life i can't really remember pooping more than two or three times a week. my midwife was very concerned about this fact when i told her early in pregnancy. she insisted that i start using glycerin suppositories and do my best to poo every day and promised that i would thank her later.

oh dear lord how i wish i had listened to this wise woman.

yesterday afternoon i decided that i should probably use a suppository since i hadn't gone in a couple of days and i have a mw appt on thursday and need to give a good report. once the suppository kicked in and i sat on the toilet i knew there something "special" about this poo.

the pressure was so intense, i reached down to feel my perineum only to discover that i was indeed attempting to pass something the size of a grapefruit through my anus. there was a point when i panicked and thought for sure i was going to have to go to the emergency room because i was going to be split in half. there was absolutely no way something this large was going to come out of a hole that small!!

i started thinking through everything i've read about labor and prayed to god for mercy. i used deep breathing, walking, rocking, and some squatting. in time (about 30 minutes) my body took over and i absolutely had to push. it was the most intense feeling ever and i was sure i was being torn to bits but once it was out, i cried from relief.

the size of this poop was so incredible, i INSISTED that dh come and look. we both teared up at the sight, simultaneously proud and terrified at what my body had done.







that poo was about 4.5 inches in diameter and almost two feet long. i made gloves out of plastic bags so that i could break it up into pieces small enough to flush (it took 5 flushes to get it all). it had to weigh at least 5 pounds and the first half was ROCK HARD.

needless to say, i waddled around sore for the rest of the day and most of this morning.

that, my friends, is hopefully as disgusting as this pregnancy will get.







:


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
You OK? I love your posts-they make me laugh really hard. I can't imagine you writting anything stupid!!!!









Thanks! Sadly for me, I don't remember what I wrote, but whatever it was... it was pretty dumb. Like, painfully dumb. Ditzy dumb. Nonsensical, what-does-that-even-mean dumb. It's one of those days.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
from our fanclub, i think we've been out-TMI-ed!!!!







:

HOLY CRAP. No pun intended. And I thought MY ginormous poops were bad.


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

WOW! She's like my exact opposite. In the world of marvel comics, she'd be my arch-enemy!


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Heehee! MmeMuffin, *I* know what you wrote! It came to my inbox before you could edit.....how much are you offering me to keep quiet??
















:


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Heehee! MmeMuffin, *I* know what you wrote! It came to my inbox before you could edit.....how much are you offering me to keep quiet??
















:

You get them in your e-mail? How? I actually have no clue what I said anyway, but I do remember it being stupid. Just confirm for me it WAS stupid, right?


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Go to your User CP, go to "Edit Options" and under Messaging & Notifications, where it says "Default Thread Subscription Mode", choose "Instant Email Notification"

Then you will get an email alerting you to new replies on any thread to which you have replied/subscribed. Cool, huh?









And no, I didn't think what you said was stupid. I thought it was funny, and was about to respond to it when I noticed you'd edited. (it was something about the smilie, btw.....and totally what I was thinking, too!)

Then again, I don't know if the fact that *I* agreed with you is going to offer much comfort or reassurance!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Oh yeah. When I looked at the smiley again it looked totally different and I felt like an idiot. It was me saying that the spit-drink smiley spits back into its own glass and drinks it... well, it doesn't. The cup is empty while the smiley laughs and then it refills itself magically. Then I realized I was looking way too hard at this smiley and that I am just a waste of space.

So this means you have seen some of my other dumbass things on this thread, even the ones I was quick enough to edit within seconds and so they didn't show up as edits. GREAT. I can feel my self-esteem lowering by the second.


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Okay...dd's vocabularly is really bulking up and she's labeling things herself now.

Her word for when someone farts?

...Mama


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## weliveintheforest (Sep 3, 2005)

I prefer to think my _sense_ of smell is getting stronger, not my actual smell....
but I'm lying to myself. I stink too.


----------



## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I don't get stinky, but I get A LOT of watery discharge. I end up wearing pads the last trimester just to soak it all up. We joke that the baby is lubing up the slide for the trip. At the end of the day it gets pretty stale, but it's a staleness, not extra stink IYKWIM. I'm a before bed bather anyway so it's no big.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

I grossed my cat out!

I had to pee-and my kitty came in for a visit. She likes to be petted while I am on the toilet (don't know why!).

Just now she came in-did her usual rubbing up against my legs-and then I noticed that she caught a sniff of my underwear. She gave me the most disgusted look I have ever seen and BOLTED out of the bathroom! She now won't come near me!

So much for our pets giving us unconditional love!


----------



## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
But it sucked today because I dont have the energy to grocery shop so I sit here being hungry.

Geeze-louise...me too! And I'm feeling so crappy for not having anything to eat, but too tired to run out to the store...but I know I'll continue to feel tired until I eat something better than I have already eaten. I'm not even sure how I ran out of cereal, it is normally something I'm obsessive about having around.

Ahhh, hubby is making me a shake right now...I will be rescued from this trap of hunger. Besides being too lazy/tired to go to the store, I would have to take a shower first due to the lovely odors that we are all discussing. I don't think my smell down south is smelly so much, but it is certainly very strong...very, very strong and I'm convinced that anyone smelling the smell would immediately know where it was coming from. Probably not even close to true, but still what I'm convinced of.


----------



## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
Lately my feet have stunk to high heaven,







and he knows it.

Maybe it's a pregnancy thing then? I sure hope so! I've been grossing myself out and I just assumed the feet stink was because I have to wear my shoes all the time because otherwise my feet hurt too much. Although that logic doesn't make much sense now that I type it because most normal people wear shoes for most of the day. I'm just used to not wearing shoes for the majority of the day. Oh whatever, my feet stink too, maybe there is hope that someday they won't stink anymore.







Why should I waste any of my already diminishing brain power to try to determine why they stink and when it will stop?


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Oh, I've got a new one. I was trying to poop, which is a feat since I suffer almost constant constipation, so I've learned this trick of folding some tp and supporting my perineum with it while pooping. Well, apparently, my bladder wasn't empty and I ended up peeing all over my hand! I was shocked, I had no idea I was about to pee and suddenly I'm soaked.

Luckily I didn't have on a long sleeved shirt.









I was also going to mention that I'm not the only stinky one in my house. I do not like the way my dh smells. I think my sense of smell *is* much more sensitive.

Christa


----------



## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

Geeze, that is just not right...


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

ummmm....do you ladies know anything about female ejaculation?

....because either i experienced it for the first time last night.....









-OR-

....i peed all over dh







:.

only funny remarks necessary, i can't believe i'm even admitting this!

at least we've determined that my water's not broken!


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Sorry, mama! I did that during my last pg. I *WISH* I could convince myself it wasn't pee!







: Especially since it happened during a particularly....um, *oral* moment!







:

My only consolation is that dh didn't notice it until I freaked out....or so he says......

It's just so sad that now I'm almost afraid to have a great O for fear of it happening again!!







So very, very sad.....


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 









ummmm....do you ladies know anything about female ejaculation?

....because either i experienced it for the first time last night.....









-OR-

....i peed all over dh







:.

only funny remarks necessary, i can't believe i'm even admitting this!

at least we've determined that my water's not broken!

Was it pee or female ejaculation? There is a difference. And usually you can smell it if its pee!









I dont think the second item is a bad thing, I think its a GREAT thing!







Peeing during sex is just inevitable at some point in your life, Its really really normal.


----------



## minsca (Jun 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 









ummmm....do you ladies know anything about female ejaculation?

....because either i experienced it for the first time last night.....









-OR-

....i peed all over dh







:.

only funny remarks necessary, i can't believe i'm even admitting this!

at least we've determined that my water's not broken!

Hey I did this the other day... I think I've convinced my DH that it was ejeculate not pee, but to be honest I'm not positive myself. But I'd rather him think that it was because he was soo 'good' rather then believe that I peed on him.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

you'd think at this point i would know my body well enough to differentiate b/w pee and ejaculate... but honestly, neither of us could tell. my pee is so watered down from all the water i've been drinking, so that's clear and odorless. and i've been so...ahem... *moist* down there for months, so that's clear and odorless.

when it happened, my mind was somewhere else....







and i was so freaked out when i realized what was happening.... oy!

(but i have to admit, i think it was pee too.







)

(but it still felt really good







)


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Well, gosh! This link is actually making me feel a LOT better! Maybe I can get over my long-held trauma yet!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

omg you googled female ejaculaation,







: what else came up? (JK)

I love the internet.







:


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Well, gosh! This link is actually making me feel a LOT better! Maybe I can get over my long-held trauma yet!









me too - except for the part about the british film council disbelieving its existence - how dare they!!!


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
omg you googled female ejaculaation,







: what else came up? (JK)

I love the internet.







:

I got lucky--this time!







The Wikipedia link was the first link, and I was afraid to look any further!







I need to be more careful....it would be a lot "safer" if I just went straight to wikipedia first from now on!


----------



## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Yeah....
I really wish I had done that when I looked up the 'Hot Carl' thing...
















Wikipedia probably would have been a lot less traumatizing...























Female ejaculation vs. peeing? I don't think I would know the difference either! It has been extra hard to hold in my pee lately- so if I wasn't afraid to let my Man down there before- I sure as heck am now!









By the way....Mmemuffin: Now every time I see the spitdrink smiley- it looks like he's drinking his own spit to me, too! Ewwww!








(You crack me up!!!!







)


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Note to self... never read this thread while eating... I nearly choked.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I saw that there were new posts on here yesterday night while I was eating a chocolate bar and I thought "Do I really want to ruin perfectly good chocolate?" and I skipped over it and read my other stuff.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
(but i have to admit, i think it was pee too.







)

further discussion with dh revealed that this was not his first experience with "FE"







he told me that the ejaculate was clear & odorless then, too - and the woman didn't even know that it had happened!

i think the pg may have caused it - all that pressure on my lady parts - so i've changed my mind & now i think that it wasn't pee









i'm sure you care!


----------



## majormajor (Nov 3, 2006)

first, this thread is beautiful.

i'm not in your DDC, but i wanted to share a good website for looking up the likes of hot carl: www.urbandictionary.com

ok, carry on then.


----------



## Elsaraw (Apr 25, 2007)

This is gross so I thought it ought to go here.
I still like sleeping on my back, for a little while at least then I have to turn.
Well, apparently, I spent too long on my back last night and threw up on myself while sleeping and was SO dizzy.
Yuck.


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Ok, there is definately an increase in the pungency of my "earthy musky" va-jay-jay scent. I can definately smell it and of course the cat can too. The cat came up on the bed today and gave my crotch a sniff and then decided to mark her own scent on my feet by rubbing her mouth on them---weird--she's never sniffed my crotch and rarely marks me as her human.

However, I did catch her licking the outside of the toilet bowl yesterday--GROSS!


----------



## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

Just a TMI -

while pregnant - its never been urine for me.
I even asked my OB about it last pregnancy, and she assured me that it was completely normal to experience female ejaculation in pregnancy.
All the extra fluid retention - she said.


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Oooh, I have a cat story to share!









We were outside on Saturday--perfectly glorious day! I was sitting on a patio chair watching the kids play, and one of our cats jumped up in my lap, settled down all comfy-cozy and started snoozing and purring. Really, the day couldn't have been more beautiful!

And then I had to fart.







The sound woke the cat, she jumped up, arched her back for a moment, then didn't see any threat to her safety, so she slowly started to settle back down into my lap.....at just about the same moment that the stench was starting to drift upward!

That poor kitty caught one whiff and promptly jumped down.......and started scratching the ground, trying to bury the smell!







:


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Oooh, I have a cat story to share!









We were outside on Saturday--perfectly glorious day! I was sitting on a patio chair watching the kids play, and one of our cats jumped up in my lap, settled down all comfy-cozy and started snoozing and purring. Really, the day couldn't have been more beautiful!

And then I had to fart.







The sound woke the cat, she jumped up, arched her back for a moment, then didn't see any threat to her safety, so she slowly started to settle back down into my lap.....at just about the same moment that the stench was starting to drift upward!

That poor kitty caught one whiff and promptly jumped down.......and started scratching the ground, trying to bury the smell!







:

I love cat stories! I love fart stories! This is the best of both worlds! Thanks for the laugh.


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Ok, I have a question about sex too.







: The other day, DH and I DTD, and afterwords, I had to pee REALLY REALLY BADLY, but I couldn't go. Seriously, I thought I was going to die. Standing, sitting, lifting belly, dropping belly, leaning forward, leaning back ,etc, didn't help. Finally, I had to sit in the tub with warm water, and pee. In my own bath. Which was totally gross, but I didn't care, because I really had to pee.

What the heck was that about? I'm scared to have sex again because of that.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Ok, I have a question about sex too.







: The other day, DH and I DTD, and afterwords, I had to pee REALLY REALLY BADLY, but I couldn't go. Seriously, I thought I was going to die. Standing, sitting, lifting belly, dropping belly, leaning forward, leaning back ,etc, didn't help. Finally, I had to sit in the tub with warm water, and pee. In my own bath. Which was totally gross, but I didn't care, because I really had to pee.

What the heck was that about? I'm scared to have sex again because of that.

maybe the contracting of your uterus made it hard to go?

if it makes you feel any better, everytime i get into the bath, i have the overwhelming urge to pee. and sometimes, i'm too lazy to get up and use the toilet. i figure wtf? i have a quick shower after the bath!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

The only time that happened to me, I had a UTI. Cranberry cleared it right up.


----------



## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 









ummmm....do you ladies know anything about female ejaculation?

....because either i experienced it for the first time last night.....









-OR-

....i peed all over dh







:.

only funny remarks necessary, i can't believe i'm even admitting this!

at least we've determined that my water's not broken!

The only reason I know the difference is I push and squeeze, DH says I (tmi) tighten and then he feels the moisture.

IME Pee leaves stains, FE doesn't.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nursingmama05* 
The only reason I know the difference is I push and squeeze, DH says I (tmi) tighten and then he feels the moisture.

IME Pee leaves stains, FE doesn't.

My FE has left a white stain-is that bad? Sometimes it doesn't leave a stain though.


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

As far as the peeing in the bath, when I was going through my bout of reoccuring UTIs, THEE only way that I could pee with out peeing a flame-thrower was sitting in a clear warm water bath. It still hurt, but it didn't make me want to leap out of my skin. So I'd sit, read, drink cranberry juice, and pee over and over. Then I'd get up and soap up all areas of my body that was in the water, except my yoni (soap there during UTI *shudders*) and rinse off. It was gross--geez, I haven't even told my husband this--but it was the only relief I had during my UTIs.


----------



## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

OMG, I finally had to see why this thread had made it to ten pages...all I can say is, I am so proud to be part of this DDC!

I have no such weirdness going on. I can still reach to wipe and pee in a cup. My pee smells normal. I am not constipated. My poop has never shifted to transverse while on its way out. My vulva/vagina/yoni does not stink, although it does smell a bit different. I have not had any discharge. I have no cat stories, because if I had had a cat, my dog would have eaten her my now.

I do have a little dog story. I always sleep naked (helps air out my girl parts) and this morning when I got up, my dog walked over to me and stuck his nose in my (naked) crotch. He got a very bewildered look on his face, cocked his head, and looked very concerned. Then he "harrumphed" and made a quick retreat for his bed. Poor kid. If only he knew what strange smells he has to look forward to.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 
I always sleep naked (helps air out my girl parts) and this morning when I got up, my dog walked over to me and stuck his nose in my (naked) crotch. He got a very bewildered look on his face, cocked his head, and looked very concerned. Then he "harrumphed" and made a quick retreat for his bed. Poor kid. If only he knew what strange smells he has to look forward to.









LOL. That's awesome.


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
My FE has left a white stain-is that bad? Sometimes it doesn't leave a stain though.

I've never had mine leave stains, they're might be some other juice that leaves white marks on the sheets but they always come out.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 

I have no such weirdness going on. I can still reach to wipe and pee in a cup. My pee smells normal. I am not constipated. My poop has never shifted to transverse while on its way out. My vulva/vagina/yoni does not stink, although it does smell a bit different. I have not had any discharge.

are you sure you're pregnant???









i'm jealous!!!


----------



## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
are you sure you're pregnant???









i'm jealous!!!

I can still wipe too, but it's quite the sight trying to work with the belly and a toddler who is potty (and genital














obsessed right now.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Nursingmama05* 
I can still wipe too, but it's quite the sight trying to work with the belly and a toddler who is potty (and genital














obsessed right now.

now you're just bragging!


----------



## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
now you're just bragging!









haha I won't be able to wipe for much longer! I have to sit on the toilet sideways to be able to wipe


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I am about to poop for the second day in a row, and that THRILLS me. YAYYYYYY!!!!! Pooping TWO DAYS IN A ROW? It's the best gift ever! I thought this week would be awful since I'm at my parents' house and away from my psyllium husk, but apparently my childhood home, site of the worst constipation I've ever had, makes my pregnant bowels wanna release. Hey, I'll take it!


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

OK





















I don't feel so bad about my stinkiness--I was exposed twice to an incredible almighty RANK STANK today. -Well used ladies restroom- Hubby and I went out to see a movie today, and the theater was busy. I HAD to use the restroom before the movie and there was both a line entering and leaving the 30+ stall restroom. Um, Yeah. musky-poopy-urine-period topped with fake apple scent smell times a bazillion!

And, yes, I really had to go again right after the movie. Was about enough to make one's eyes water!

I like my stink now


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

OMG 10 pages of stink...









I just wanted to share, thought this was really funny:

My 4 yr old ds's favortie book right now is called "diareah" from the dr's office (You know, the immodium ad they make look like an "informational book." )










He makes me read it to him for bedtime.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I am about to poop for the second day in a row, and that THRILLS me. YAYYYYYY!!!!! Pooping TWO DAYS IN A ROW? It's the best gift ever! I thought this week would be awful since I'm at my parents' house and away from my psyllium husk, but apparently my childhood home, site of the worst constipation I've ever had, makes my pregnant bowels wanna release. Hey, I'll take it!

Are you taking iron?

If so, I highly reccomend floradix iron+herbs. Its non constipating and I havent had any issues yet!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
Are you taking iron?

If so, I highly reccomend floradix iron+herbs. Its non constipating and I havent had any issues yet!

There's some iron in my prenatal, but it's not constipating me any more than without, since I tried going without it for a bit to see if that'd help. I have been constipated my entire life. I have the worst hemorrhoids right now too.







: Figures this would happen when I'm away from home and my Tucks pads!


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

WooHoo! I had "The Fart of Death" today! It is that special fart that sounds just like a perfect fart should, and makes your partner just about die, whilst you smell nothing! Zach's bio dad got to experience that, and today my husband got a whiff of it too!

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! I amuse myself sometimes!

Transformed--the diarrhea book--Too flippin' funny! hahahahahahahaha!!!


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

WHAT???!!?!?!?? The BEST thread EVAH was stuck on page 3?????

I'm so disappointed in you ladies......I go to Nashville for one weekend, and you stop being stinky??









Sigh.....I guess it means I'm the real source of the stench, hmm?


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

The hubs and I showered together yesterday, and I haaaad to pee really bad. I told him a while ago that my pee STINKS lately and the smell makes me sick. Anyway, I said, "I really have to pee... I can't hold it for another second and I don't want to waddle out of the shower all wet and slippery." He sighed and said "...okay... just pee down the drain," rolling his eyes at how gross his wife is. So I did. And OH GOD. THE SMELL. He couldn't stop going on about it for a while. He was like "AAAUUUGH YOUR PEE SMELLS HORRIBLE" for like 10 straight minutes.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
WHAT???!!?!?!?? The BEST thread EVAH was stuck on page 3?????

I'm so disappointed in you ladies......I go to Nashville for one weekend, and you stop being stinky??









Sigh.....I guess it means I'm the real source of the stench, hmm?










no, i still stink. although the weather has finally cooled down, so it's a bit more contained!!!


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

OMG. Last night I coughed and I peed everywhere. Like all down my leg, onto the floor. My 3 year old laughed at me.







:


----------



## jlsizemore (Sep 11, 2007)

This thread made me laugh so hard I wet my pants and was crying snot all over the place. Hubby thought something terrible had happened and I kept trying to tell him I was laughing but he was ready to call 911!!! I couldn't catch my breath to tell him to chill out.

This thread needs to be made into a book!!!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlsizemore* 
This thread made me laugh so hard I wet my pants and was crying snot all over the place. Hubby thought something terrible had happened and I kept trying to tell him I was laughing but he was ready to call 911!!! I couldn't catch my breath to tell him to chill out.

This thread needs to be made into a book!!!

Ah, the Dec 2007 DDC... bringing joy to the hearts of pregnant mamas, and fear to the hearts of their loved ones, one page of stink at a time.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Oooh! I had another fun urination experience this morning!!









So, dh and I did some "taxes" last night (heheheh....okay, that's stupid, but it's what he said one afternoon when we put cartoons on and locked the bedroom door and dd asked what we were doing, so now it's our favorite code word), and I think I have a bit of a varicosity, because my labia pretty much always feel like they are dragging around 5lb weights these days. Not fun. And even worse after sex.









So, we DTD and it was good (it always is at the time, it's only afterward that I regret it!), but I woke up this morning reeeeally sore!

So, I have this squishy gel ice pack, and I stuck it inside a sock and put it in my underwear while I was making breakfast. It felt great!









A little while later, I needed to pee, so I took the ice pack out, tossed the sock in the wash and put the gel pack back in the freezer, and went to the bathroom. And I was STUNNED when I unexpectedly started peeing FIRE!!!!









Ohmigosh, it was like molten urine--like mere degrees from boiling point!! And the only thing that my brain could process was the memory of my midwife's voice, reciting the questions she asks every visit.....specifically, the "Any itching, burning, or irritation while urinating?"

I had never considered the question in that light before....I always thought of "burning" more as "stinging". But now all I could think was "What is "boiling urine" a symptom of?" I was seriously ready to give her a call!









Fortunately, I calmed down and my ability to reason returned before I finished washing my hands. OF COURSE if you use an ice pack on a body part for several minutes, you are going to lower the temperature of the skin in that area. And then if you put hot liquid in contact with the cold skin, the hot liquid will feel even hotter than it really is!









That's why my mom wouldn't let us take hot baths after playing in the snow when we were little!

So yes, I'm a doofus, and no, my pee wasn't really boiling.









But ice packs are great for sore hoohaws!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Best Pee Story Ever.

ETA: Hey! I wrote that all in caps! Silly auto-formatting. Oh well, read it as if I wrote it all in caps, ok?


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

When I told dh, he just silently shook his head and looked at me with that "do I really want to procreate with this woman? and is it too late to change my mind?" look.









I'm starting to get used to that look....


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

That was a hilarious story, SheBear! If only because I've used an ice pack for my PSD the last few nights. I'll have to remember not to worry about molten lava temperature pee afterward!









My stinky contribution for the day- I have been farting like CRAZY lately! They're not actually stinky, though, just loud. Loud enough that our 6 y/o dachshund was sitting next to me and I let one rip. The dog (who drinks pee out of dd's potty chair, btw...so it's not like he's all prim and proper either!







) gave me the funniest look and bolted off. Like he was disgusted with me. It's bad when you're scaring away dogs that eat trash and poop with your farts!


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Not stinky, just TMI.

A couple of pages back female ejaculation was brought up. Now I have known for a long time that I can do that, so has my husband, and he is super cool with that. Last night however, Niagra Falls was dry compared to me.... that isn't the worst part....oh this is sooooo embarassing...but I haveta say it......

Hubby got his beard soaked!!!! aaahhh

*runs and hides now*


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

i just wish I could have sex.









I am trying to want to!


----------



## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Random thought...can you imagine how much worse this thread would be if it were the men who had the babies? They're smelly enough as it is--if they could get pregnant they'd turn into weapons of biological warfare.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
Hubby got his beard soaked!!!! aaahhh

*runs and hides now*









That is HILARIOUS.

And I agree, Jen, because I feel enough like a weapon of bio warfare. I can't imagine if my husband's stench level increased as dramatically as mine has.

And I feel you, transformed... lately even if I am in "the mood" it just seems like such a hassle, and after all my B-H contractions like crazy last week I am kind of nervous anyway.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Ok this is also not stinky-just TMI. My sex drive is huge lately. I keep having vivid sex dreams-and this morning I woke up after an amazing sex dream where I orgasmed!


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
Not stinky, just TMI.

A couple of pages back female ejaculation was brought up. Now I have known for a long time that I can do that, so has my husband, and he is super cool with that. Last night however, Niagra Falls was dry compared to me.... that isn't the worst part....oh this is sooooo embarassing...but I haveta say it......

Hubby got his beard soaked!!!! aaahhh

*runs and hides now*

we're going to have to:
1. change the thread title to "just plain ol' TMI" soon!
2. have a new thread called "female ejaculator rollcall"!


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Wow how'd this get to page 2?

I'd add some fun tmi, but really, mine is nothing new. I was dehydrated monday, didn't eat right tuesday, and woke in the wee hours with terrible gas pains. In the morning I did my usual hot tea and water routine, and lets just say the past 2 days have been craptastic! The worst part was getting stuck w/o TP and trying to get my 2.5 y/o to get me a new roll. Then he had to tell everyone I spoke with on the phone that he had to get the roll for me >.<


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

My husband and I frequently shower together - more often than we shower apart. It's almost never sexual in nature, and kind of more... cuddly and huggy in the water. We are dorky, sorry. Anyway, he knows my shower routine, and yesterday I had finished shampooing and conditioning and washing my face and soaping up and rinsing off. But I still had two things left to do. So I was just standing there in the water waiting for him to get out, and he was just standing there looking at me.

me - "Are you getting out now or what?"
him - "Oh, I guess... aren't you?"
me - "Not yet..."
him - "I thought I'd wait for you to get out. What do you have left to do?"
me - "Fart and pee."
him - (turns and exits shower immediately without another word)

Well... I KNEW I couldn't hold that fart in for much longer, and I was having a hard time emptying my bladder on the toilet, so I thought I'd take some MDC advice and pee standing up in the shower! I figured I'd just let loose once he stepped out, since he often steps out first!


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

laughup

Well, he asked...! Gosh, I adore you, MmeMuffin!


----------



## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Shower farts are great, right? With the acoustics and all....

Almost as fun as metal chair farts.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

today I went to the grocery store in my yoga pants without underwear. (I couldnt find any maternity in the laundry basket and I didnt feel like squeezing into my larger size cotton ones...)

What was I thinking?







I am not sure but I think it looked like I wet my pants. And mabye I did, who knows these days. If I sneeze, I pee, and then theres the issue of discharge.

Dont go underwearless in cotton pants when 8 months pregnant
! Dont!







:


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
so I thought I'd take some MDC advice and pee standing up in the shower! I figured I'd just let loose once he stepped out, since he often steps out first!

How come its so taboo to pee in the shower? Its a drain! I dont get it, really.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
How come its so taboo to pee in the shower? Its a drain! I dont get it, really.










My husband usually rolls my eyes at my shower peeing and thinks it's kind of weird, but I tell him HE'S weird because peeing in the shower is AOK in my book. Generally, he would just be like "Okay then pee" and just stand so that I didn't pee on HIM.

However - things have changed. I posted about this early on in this thread... my pee has been SO SMELLY since getting pregnant that he can barely handle it. Gosh, I can barely handle it. IT'S HORRIFIC. If he walks into the bathroom after I've peed and flushed and washed my hands and hoped that the scent has died down, he nearly throws up from the smell. Even my cat - who once loved sniffing my pee - goes running in the other direction when I approach the toilet.


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Hubby is having sympathy farts. No really, they're LETHAL. Does that mean it's a boy or a girl?


----------



## minsca (Jun 25, 2007)

So glad to hear that I'm not the only one who enjoys peeing in the shower. It is such a relief and really does seem to get more out then on the toilet!


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

I had to revive this thread!! 'Cause....................

My poop is turning creamy, and my arms are too short, and my belly too big.

Bad combination-I had awful skid marks









What's worse when I discovered the skid marks I had to poop again. Since I was maneuvering to clean myself I got poop on my sweatshirt. Thank GOD I was home and could just run down to the laundry room and wash that poor sweatshirt.

I feel stinky and gross. AND I'm pooping so much, I wonder if labor is coming soon.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

ahhhh..... i was wondering if i was going to be the one to bump this thread!

i have one word: hemmorhoids.

need i say more?


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Is anyone getting smellier and smellier every day?







:


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
I had to revive this thread!! 'Cause....................

My poop is turning creamy, and my arms are too short, and my belly too big.

Bad combination-I had awful skid marks









What's worse when I discovered the skid marks I had to poop again. Since I was maneuvering to clean myself I got poop on my sweatshirt. Thank GOD I was home and could just run down to the laundry room and wash that poor sweatshirt.

I feel stinky and gross. AND I'm pooping so much, I wonder if labor is coming soon.


I'm having so much trouble with this as well. *sigh* And I swore I wouldn't complain b/c I've been so terribly constipated. But geesh. I'm using my dd's "Kandoo" wipes







(b/c I have such a thing in my house!)

Christa


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
i have one word: hemmorhoids.

need i say more?

Couple those with a transverse turd, and some dehydration issues......

let's just say that I told my husband that I am really not afraid of any type of birthing pains!


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
Couple those with a transverse turd, and some dehydration issues......

let's just say that I told my husband that I am really not afraid of any type of birthing pains!


omg. i totally had forgotten about the "traverse turd!"









i am usually pretty loose, but had one bad morning with a bit of constipation, and my bum might not recover until after i birth







: - since i'm 37 weeks now!!!

i'm now on a strict regime of water, fiber tablets & dried apricots!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
omg. i totally had forgotten about the "traverse turd!"









i am usually pretty loose, but had one bad morning with a bit of constipation, and my bum might not recover until after i birth







: - since i'm 37 weeks now!!!

i'm now on a strict regime of water, fiber tablets & dried apricots!

As someone who is never loose, and constantly has poop trauma, let me just recommend - TUCKS PADS.


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Is anyone getting smellier and smellier every day?







:

Ergh the feet funk is painful. Must be bad to make it all the way up here around this babybelly. Tea tree oil soap plus mineral salt deodorant spray has helped.


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

I have been avoiding this thread but may I say...









This has got to be the most honest thread-EVER.

I'm getting stinky, too.


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I have a new little gem....

Several days ago, ds2 got ahold of an ink pen, and before I could safely confiscate it, he jabbed it into my belly button, really hard! I'm pretty sure I wet myself, it hurt so much, and I can still taste the foul word that I wasn't able to stop myself from saying!









Anyway, it has hurt all week, and today it was itchy. I scratched the inside a bit, and a big chunk of nasty flaky scab came out!









That's when I realized that the new layer of stench I've been smelling was coming from my poor belly button! I cleaned it out with peroxide and Q-tips, and the foulness was incredible! He did a lot more damage than I'd realized! Now I have it packed full of Golden Salve and a bandaid on top.

I had no idea he'd gouged me that badly. It didn't bleed visibly, and of course I can't actually see in it, or even close! I thought it hurt so bad just because of it already being stretched so much. I'm surprised that I didn't fly around the room like a punctured balloon!


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I have a new little gem....

Several days ago, ds2 got ahold of an ink pen, and before I could safely confiscate it, he jabbed it into my belly button, really hard! I'm pretty sure I wet myself, it hurt so much, and I can still taste the foul word that I wasn't able to stop myself from saying!









Anyway, it has hurt all week, and today it was itchy. I scratched the inside a bit, and a big chunk of nasty flaky scab came out!









That's when I realized that the new layer of stench I've been smelling was coming from my poor belly button! I cleaned it out with peroxide and Q-tips, and the foulness was incredible! He did a lot more damage than I'd realized! Now I have it packed full of Golden Salve and a bandaid on top.

I had no idea he'd gouged me that badly. It didn't bleed visibly, and of course I can't actually see in it, or even close! I thought it hurt so bad just because of it already being stretched so much. I'm surprised that I didn't fly around the room like a punctured balloon!
























:


----------



## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dnw826* 
I have been avoiding this thread but may I say...









This has got to be the most honest thread-EVER.

I'm getting stinky, too.









I hadn't been checking this thread either but recent comments about it on another thread got me curious.







I am glad I came back. My 11 year old even made a comment about me smell. How embarassing is that?!?







after this many kids, I am not really worried about it though. I just remembered that my daughter made a comment about my smell yesterday at the birth center. She is almost 9 and she thought it was my feet but it was really because I was sitting on the bed with my legs open!







:


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

The worst thing for my tachycardia? Showering and washing my hair! So I'm now washing my hair only like every 3rd day (b/c it takes an hour or more to recover from having done it) although I do try to bathe everyday (though sometimes not until afternoon







). I just feel nasty.

If I could afford it, I'd go to the beauty salon every other day or so and let them wash and dry my hair.









Christa


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
The worst thing for my tachycardia? Showering and washing my hair! So I'm now washing my hair only like every 3rd day (b/c it takes an hour or more to recover from having done it) although I do try to bathe everyday (though sometimes not until afternoon







). I just feel nasty.

If I could afford it, I'd go to the beauty salon every other day or so and let them wash and dry my hair.









Christa

I don't wash my hair but once a month or so. NO, it's not stinky. The rest of me may be, but I do shower every night. I have very dry/coarse/thick/curly hair so if I wash it every night I end up looking like I stuck my whole arm in an electrical socket. I can only wash with really mild olive oil soap, too. It's craziness.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I have a new little gem....

Several days ago, ds2 got ahold of an ink pen, and before I could safely confiscate it, he jabbed it into my belly button, really hard! I'm pretty sure I wet myself, it hurt so much, and I can still taste the foul word that I wasn't able to stop myself from saying!









Anyway, it has hurt all week, and today it was itchy. I scratched the inside a bit, and a big chunk of nasty flaky scab came out!









That's when I realized that the new layer of stench I've been smelling was coming from my poor belly button! I cleaned it out with peroxide and Q-tips, and the foulness was incredible! He did a lot more damage than I'd realized! Now I have it packed full of Golden Salve and a bandaid on top.

I had no idea he'd gouged me that badly. It didn't bleed visibly, and of course I can't actually see in it, or even close! I thought it hurt so bad just because of it already being stretched so much. I'm surprised that I didn't fly around the room like a punctured balloon!










ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you're ok now!!!!


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

there's 5 stars under the rating of this thread!!!! yehaw!


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
there's 5 stars under the rating of this thread!!!! yehaw!

How does that happen?


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## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

I'm waaaaaay behind you mamas in the DDC arena, (June 21 EDD), but holy helllll am I stinky.

I'll come back tomorrow to tell you details, but I'm off to take a shower now. I can't even stand sitting with myself at the computer. Yuck.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

My heartburn is so out of control that my breath stinks. I also need to share with the world that my belly button is now in my 8th month beginning to become an outie-and it has black stripes. Not stinky per say-but maybe I should have been cleaning it more often??


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
My heartburn is so out of control that my breath stinks. I also need to share with the world that my belly button is now in my 8th month beginning to become an outie-and it has black stripes. Not stinky per say-but maybe I should have been cleaning it more often??

A tiger striped belly button...cool









I dunno why I thought that was so damn funny. I need sleep!


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## HappyFox05 (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
How come its so taboo to pee in the shower? Its a drain! I dont get it, really.










Since urine is sterile, unless it contacts some bacteria on the way out, it shouldn't be taboo in one's own home. I always figure I'm doing the environment a favor by peeing in the shower, since that eliminates a flush and a wad of paper.


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HappyFox05* 
Since urine is sterile, unless it contacts some bacteria on the way out, it shouldn't be taboo in one's own home. I always figure I'm doing the environment a favor by peeing in the shower, since that eliminates a flush and a wad of paper.










Speaking of, I don't insist that my dd flush after every trip to the potty...and I don't flush during the night (which is 4 or more trips these days). We are either really lazy, or we are doing our part for water conservation.







We do flush poop though.









Christa


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
Speaking of, I don't insist that my dd flush after every trip to the potty...and I don't flush during the night (which is 4 or more trips these days). We are either really lazy, or we are doing our part for water conservation.







We do flush poop though.









Christa

Normally, we rarely flush our toilet, but lately, because my pee STINKS, I have been flushing more often.







:


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

When I was growing up, my Dad was fond of saying, "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down!"







Much to my dh's consternation, I typically still follow that advice!


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

And my dh flushes before he's even finished.







Which I find totally odd.

Christa


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

My Dh does too, and he has a total heart attack if there is pee in the toilet! We HAVE to flush after every trip in there.


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Toilet Flushing accounts for about 26% of water usage in the average household.

ITA if it's Yellow it's Mellow....


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
Toilet Flushing accounts for about 26% of water usage in the average household.

ITA if it's Yellow it's Mellow....

I would, but I like to see the color of my pee to make sure I'm drinking enough.

If it's clear.... let it, uh....?


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Normally, we rarely flush our toilet, but lately, because my pee STINKS, I have been flushing more often.







:









:


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

New problem. I am peeing so much that the wiping is starting to irritate my vulva. I can't see not wiping, though! I'd have pee running down my legs!

Another gross little tidbit: The other day I threw up so hard I peed myself. I stood up and walked into the hall on the way to the bathroom (I threw up in a can in the bedroom) and stopped to talk to me DP. He looked at me funny and said, "you're leaking." I looked down and realized I hadn't just peed a little - I'd peed so much that it had pooled in my underwear and was running down my leg in a stream! Of course, to make matters worse, I then had to sniff it to make sure it wasn't amniotic fluid. Yuck.


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Do you use TP or family cloth? If you use TP, I would recommend switching to family cloth. We made the switch when I was pregnant, for the same reason! Cloth feels so much nicer and doesn't irritate like paper does.


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Do you use TP or family cloth? If you use TP, I would recommend switching to family cloth. We made the switch when I was pregnant, for the same reason! Cloth feels so much nicer and doesn't irritate like paper does.

I guess I don't understand how family cloth works. I use cloth fem. hyg. products, but they get washed between each use. Surely you don't wash the towel every time someone wipes? How does it stay clean?


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 
I guess I don't understand how family cloth works. I use cloth fem. hyg. products, but they get washed between each use. Surely you don't wash the towel every time someone wipes? How does it stay clean?

No, like cloth baby wipes. We use old blankets cut up, wash cloths, fancy wipes I got from Bumblebeej







: , homemade flannel ones, etc. We have a little basket on the back of the toilet with the clean ones and a bucket next to the toilet for the dirties. I just wash them with the diapers.


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
No, like cloth baby wipes. We use old blankets cut up, wash cloths, fancy wipes I got from Bumblebeej







: , homemade flannel ones, etc. We have a little basket on the back of the toilet with the clean ones and a bucket next to the toilet for the dirties. I just wash them with the diapers.

Oh, LOL, that makes a lot more sense! I was thinking along the lines of a handtowel.

I'm not sure if I could handle poopy ones (adult poop is so much grosser than baby/breast milk poop), but I could do pee ones, for sure.

Thanks for the suggestion!


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

A new cause of belly button funk-

I still have my belly button ring in. I ordered one of the pregnancy barbells because my ring was really irritating. The top of the belly button (the part they pierce) is so stretched it's basically a thin flap of skin right now. My piercer made the barbell into two for me- a shorter one and a longer one. Last night I needed to switch it out to the longer one because the short one kept getting knocked around and almost ripping out. When I changed it, oh holy stink bomb!!! Anyone here familiar with piercings may know that sometimes dead skin cells, oils, and soaps can get inside piercings and cause them to get gunky and stinky. Well, belly buttons can get some nasty gunk (I'd had mine stretched to 8ga before kids and that caused more funk). But this was so bad!!! It almost took my breath away. I had to get in there and clean with an alcohol wipe. The skin is stretched so thin that my belly button doesn't get clean in the shower anymore I guess.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

i also have something to add, although it's not stinky, it's CERTAINLY tmi.

i have butt cheeck acne!







i think it's caused by the rather "humid" state of everything below my waist and above the knee....

i've been using an alpha hydroxy lotion on my butt after i bathe, but it hasn't helped. today, i got some neutrogena body scrub w. salicylic acid in it.

anybody have any tips for me? or do i have to find a spa that offers an a$$ facial?!?!?!







:


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
a$$ facial









laughup laughup laughup


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
Toilet Flushing accounts for about 26% of water usage in the average household.

ITA if it's Yellow it's Mellow....

I actually practice this, but the thing about it is you have to clean the toilet sooooooo much more often with pee sitting in it ALL the time! Ewwww...


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 
New problem. I am peeing so much that the wiping is starting to irritate my vulva. I can't see not wiping, though! I'd have pee running down my legs!

Get that peri bottle out! Squirt some water, dab gently with a piece of cloth and you're set.


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

I had butt zits so bad, my mom said it looked like my a$$ worked at McDonalds.







:


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## miss_nikki (Jan 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
I had butt zits so bad, my mom said it looked like my a$$ worked at McDonalds.







:









that sucks! DD#2 was pointing out my booty zits when I got out of the shower today. Gotta love kids.


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## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

ok is it just me or is anyone else leaking urine during an orgasm, I have had this happen during all of my pregnancies when Im far along, its so gross its makes me not want to have one at all


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## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
i also have something to add, although it's not stinky, it's CERTAINLY tmi.

i have butt cheeck acne!







i think it's caused by the rather "humid" state of everything below my waist and above the knee....

i've been using an alpha hydroxy lotion on my butt after i bathe, but it hasn't helped. today, i got some neutrogena body scrub w. salicylic acid in it.

anybody have any tips for me? or do i have to find a spa that offers an a$$ facial?!?!?!







:









: This is me too, and nothing helps. I try to remain naked as much as possible to air everything out but oye. I found that sitting on my birth ball with no pants of shorts makes me break out too.







It's so embarassing


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

All this talk about A$$ acne makes me feel the need to confess my most guilty pleasure:

I love to pop zits-I really do. I know it's bad-but there is something about squeezing out a white head that is just fascinating for me.







:


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Oh, I'm a zit popper too! Don't come around with something to squeeze on.


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
ok is it just me or is anyone else leaking urine during an orgasm, I have had this happen during all of my pregnancies when Im far along, its so gross its makes me not want to have one at all

Are you sure that it is urine? It might very well be female ejaculate.









My big sex worry is that how gassy I have been lately is not just letting out the occasional "whoops, I farted!" once during, BUT the constant poot poot poot poot pooting during most of the act.

And all I have to say is Whew! I am not the only one prone to butt zits during pregnancy!!! If I didn't need my husband to help me out of the bathtub now (we have no shower







) I wouldn't let my husband see me in my birthday suit.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
I had butt zits so bad, my mom said it looked like my a$$ worked at McDonalds.







:











all i can think about is having a bunch of zitty a$$ photos from the birth! and what my MW & doula will think!

yes, ladies, i AM that vain.

but glad to hear that i'm not the only one afflicted.....


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

I cannot believe I'm sharing this here.........

Today at my chiro appointment, while laying face down on the table, I farted. And it smelled really bad.







:


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## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
I cannot believe I'm sharing this here.........
Today at my chiro appointment, while laying face down on the table, I farted. And it smelled really bad.







:

don't feel bad mama, last year dp and i went to the massage school for some cheap relaxation. the walls were pretty thin, and 15 minutes in i heard him rip one. LOUD. it was all i could do to keep myself under control for the rest of my massage. (i just told him i was out'ing him on MDC and his only response was, "but you have to tell them that she pushed REALLY hard!"







)

and i also have to admit that i've been poot poot poot'ing during our romps in the hay as well. i try to mask it by making extra-loud noises of pleasure.


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Hey, I farted in the market today and me and DS had to run away from it! There were some old ladies coming up the other way, I'm sure they enjoyed it.


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

When we lay down at night to go to bed, ds lays in front of me and dd behind me. Dd will lay down, then sit up, look over at me sweetly and say, "Momma, please don't poot on me."







(b/c I do, all too often

















Christa


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

What is this doing on page 5? Are we getting less stinky?

Here's my update. My farts still smell horrible (DH likes to come up with new descriptions - did I mention the one where my farts smell like the worst Chinese food in town, left to rot and die in a frat boy's dorm room?) and my pee still stinks to high heaven. I shower every 24 hours and am starting to think I need to shower every 12 because I smell THAT BAD, all the time. I used to get away with showering every other day (or sometimes every 3rd day) because I rarely had BO or got sweaty or anything, and my skin & hair are so dry that showering regularly kind of sucks. But now I smell too bad.

The real reason I'm reviving the thread is: HOLY VAGINAL DISCHARGE. Seriously. Now, as I posted here before, I always have "yeti yoni." I'm in fact a yeti in general. My pits are frequently hairy unless I'm showing them off in public that I'm not comfortable around, and my legs have only been hairless once in the past 3 and a half years (for my wedding), and my pubes are never trimmed, ever. I'd like to use some sort of feminist hippie excuse, but really it boils down to: I hate hair removal (aside from eyebrow grooming), I get absolutely no pleasure out of it, I can't imagine why anyone else would care if I don't (my DH doesn't either but if he did I'd tell him to suck it) and so I just don't do it.

So, my pubes have been GROWING LIKE A WEED lately. Wtf? And combined with all the vaginal discharge - HOLY FREAKING CRAP. I told my husband that I feel all "gummed up." It is so gross. I had to put shampoo on my pubic hair just to get all the discharge out! It had been quite a few days where I had discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them, and copious showering/washing still wouldn't get it all out, and even when it did it'd just come back within a matter of hours. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH! So today I told the hubby that I can't deal anymore, and I need to trim my pubes, but I can't even *see* them to trim them myself, and the mirror honestly isn't much help because I can't get into any good angle. So I showered, shampooed the pubes and got 'em nice and clean ... and then he used his beard trimmer to trim them down good and short.

WHEW. No more yeti yoni for me until the discharge ends. Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

Okay, that was about as TMI as I've gotten this whole thread, right? That way beat my transverse turd/poop-C-section worries. Now someone else has gotta divulge something so I don't get embarrassed and delete this whole thing later.


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
When we lay down at night to go to bed, ds lays in front of me and dd behind me. Dd will lay down, then sit up, look over at me sweetly and say, "Momma, please don't poot on me."







(b/c I do, all too often
















Christa

Oh and, I almost CHOKED to death laughing at that.


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## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
What is this doing on page 5? Are we getting less stinky?

Here's my update. My farts still smell horrible (DH likes to come up with new descriptions - did I mention the one where my farts smell like the worst Chinese food in town, left to rot and die in a frat boy's dorm room?) and my pee still stinks to high heaven. I shower every 24 hours and am starting to think I need to shower every 12 because I smell THAT BAD, all the time. I used to get away with showering every other day (or sometimes every 3rd day) because I rarely had BO or got sweaty or anything, and my skin & hair are so dry that showering regularly kind of sucks. But now I smell too bad.

The real reason I'm reviving the thread is: HOLY VAGINAL DISCHARGE. Seriously. Now, as I posted here before, I always have "yeti yoni." I'm in fact a yeti in general. My pits are frequently hairy unless I'm showing them off in public that I'm not comfortable around, and my legs have only been hairless once in the past 3 and a half years (for my wedding), and my pubes are never trimmed, ever. I'd like to use some sort of feminist hippie excuse, but really it boils down to: I hate hair removal (aside from eyebrow grooming), I get absolutely no pleasure out of it, I can't imagine why anyone else would care if I don't (my DH doesn't either but if he did I'd tell him to suck it) and so I just don't do it.

So, my pubes have been GROWING LIKE A WEED lately. Wtf? And combined with all the vaginal discharge - HOLY FREAKING CRAP. I told my husband that I feel all "gummed up." It is so gross. I had to put shampoo on my pubic hair just to get all the discharge out! It had been quite a few days of discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH! So today I told the hubby that I can't deal anymore, and I need to trim my pubes, but I can't even *see* them to trim them myself, and the mirror honestly isn't much help because I can't get into any good angle. So I showered, shampooed the pubes and got 'em nice and clean ... and then he used his beard trimmer to trim them down good and short.

WHEW. No more yeti yoni for me until the discharge ends. Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

Okay, that was about as TMI as I've gotten this whole thread, right? That way beat my transverse turd/poop-C-section worries. Now someone else has gotta divulge something so I don't get embarrassed and delete this whole thing later.









LMAO

Now it doesn't matter if you edit it. Quoted for posterity!!!!!









Funny you should bring this up... I was just eyeing hubby's beard trimmer. I ALWAYS wax my bits. But I haven't during pregnancy, especially this late in the game cuz I can't get into the damn position and besides that, I don't wanna scare baby. Who knows what hair ripping away sounds like from the inside??? My discharge is in overdrive too. My vagina is like a self cleaning oven and it's looking like the casserole I baked in 1998 is coming out.

Time to start the garlic and probiotics. I haven't stunk until recently and the garlic is just gonna add to the funk. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

MmeMuffin- I've been fighting the battle of the crunchy pubes as well! This morning I woke up to so much discharge I swore my water had broke or something!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Ha! I just DID edit it, too. But only a little, 'cause it kind of sounded like I was letting days' worth of discharge build up in the pubes w/o trying to wash it out.

The beard trimmer was good! I was glad he did it for me, though, because it was so much easier, but I bet I could do it on my own next time. I would recommend trying it out. Unless your husband would get weirded out by it. But then he doesn't have to know.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
My vagina is like a self cleaning oven and it's looking like the casserole I baked in 1998 is coming out.









I am glad my vagina is not alone in this. It's like Niagara Falls over here.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I'm LOL because one of the google-generated ads at the bottom of this page says:

Do You Smell?
You Might Be Gross! Take the Free Gross Quiz.
AreYouGross.com

I'll have something to add to this tomorrow, but for now, I'm beat. Utterly and miserably. G'night everybody!









(And no, I did not take the quiz....leaving that up to newmamatobe or some other brave soul....







)


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

My breath is stinking to high heaven!! DP made me cry the other day because of her reaction to my breath. Now she just offers me gum like 20 times a day!!!! I can't help it! I brush my teeth often-it's the major heartburn that does it.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Oooh, I hear ya! Holy Halitosis, Batman! But, even knowing how rank my own is, what's even worse is catching a whiff of dh's! And I totally know it's just heightened sensitivity, because IRL his doesn't stink. But if I catch the slightest smell of any sort of food on his breath, it makes me want to hurl. I can't stand kissing him (on the mouth) right now, but I don't want to tell him why, because I know mine is 10x worse. So, I just act like i'm really into kissing him in.....other.....places.


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## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

It doesn't end, girls. Post-partum funk and nursing have made me smell WORSE -- like old blood and sour milk. I didn't think it was possible, but it is.

You know, it's funny, this thread made me remember that the reason I took a pregnancy test in the first place all those months ago was that it smelled funky down there. One whiff and I was like, "Break out the pregnancy test, for there can be no other explanation for that odor."


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

HOT. Let the stench continue!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
The real reason I'm reviving the thread is: HOLY VAGINAL DISCHARGE. Seriously. Now, as I posted here before, I always have "yeti yoni." I'm in fact a yeti in general. My pits are frequently hairy unless I'm showing them off in public that I'm not comfortable around, and my legs have only been hairless once in the past 3 and a half years (for my wedding), and my pubes are never trimmed, ever. I'd like to use some sort of feminist hippie excuse, but really it boils down to: I hate hair removal (aside from eyebrow grooming), I get absolutely no pleasure out of it, I can't imagine why anyone else would care if I don't (my DH doesn't either but if he did I'd tell him to suck it) and so I just don't do it.

So, my pubes have been GROWING LIKE A WEED lately. Wtf? And combined with all the vaginal discharge - HOLY FREAKING CRAP. I told my husband that I feel all "gummed up." It is so gross. I had to put shampoo on my pubic hair just to get all the discharge out! It had been quite a few days where I had discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them, and copious showering/washing still wouldn't get it all out, and even when it did it'd just come back within a matter of hours. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH! So today I told the hubby that I can't deal anymore, and I need to trim my pubes, but I can't even *see* them to trim them myself, and the mirror honestly isn't much help because I can't get into any good angle. So I showered, shampooed the pubes and got 'em nice and clean ... and then he used his beard trimmer to trim them down good and short.

WHEW. No more yeti yoni for me until the discharge ends. Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

Okay, that was about as TMI as I've gotten this whole thread, right? That way beat my transverse turd/poop-C-section worries. Now someone else has gotta divulge something so I don't get embarrassed and delete this whole thing later.










I can hardly have sex with dh because I cant shave down there. I HATE shaving, and it SUCKS and only lasts like 1 day...maybe 2. But it makes sex feel really good.

I at least try to keep it trimmed!

Well, Its way to scary to me to groom myself when I cant see it.







:

My dh is too scared to trim it for me. And if he is scared, I am scared of him.







I told him it would be hot if he could figure it out though. Mabye that will get him moving.

So I dont feel like dealing with sex...but I really really really miss it. We have always been really active. I think dh is so lonley! And I am too!

But with the nastyness of "it", is yet another reason. I wish I could get myself to not be so exausted where I could at least have a little "fun" with dh, even if its not intercourse. I am sure he misses playing...sex has been SO functional latley. Its like "you want to, sure, you want to? sure...ok then..." and then done. It sucks.







I need to buck up and just do it. I am lazy in bed.









Its gross to be gross. Yuck. ewwww. ewwwww.

PS-Dont ever get a bikini wax! I swear to you, it hurts worse than natural childbirth. Really. And it doesnt last any longer than shaving.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
It doesn't end, girls. Post-partum funk and nursing have made me smell WORSE -- like old blood and sour milk. I didn't think it was possible, but it is.

You know, it's funny, this thread made me remember that the reason I took a pregnancy test in the first place all those months ago was that it smelled funky down there. One whiff and I was like, "Break out the pregnancy test, for there can be no other explanation for that odor."

Thanks for reminding me.







:

At least the end is in sight postpartum.


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
HOT. Let the stench continue!


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## mrsbass (Oct 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
And MY BOOBS ARE RESTING ON MY BELLY!!!!!!!!!

I hear ya! I told my DH that I'm sorry I look like a female version of Buddha!


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
It doesn't end, girls. Post-partum funk and nursing have made me smell WORSE -- like old blood and sour milk. I didn't think it was possible, but it is.

Thanks, I forgot about smelling like a butcher shop. Ugh, ANDDDDD I got a yeast infection that smelled like that Amish Friendship bread mix. You know, the stuff that looks like snot that has been passed around since Jesus? Yeah, that.


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
Thanks, I forgot about smelling like a butcher shop.


Ahhh, I remember that smell. Yum.







:


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
You know, the stuff that looks like snot that has been passed around since Jesus? Yeah, that.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

you ladies are seriously cracking me up. is there a hall of fame for funniest threads on MDC? we need to start a sticky!

sex at 38 weeks SUCKS. dh and i dtd a couple of nights ago, and it was so irritating. firstly, he was touching me too softly, and it just felt annoying. then, he almost entered the back door, and i was like, "HELL NO!" so i said to him, "you know that's my a$$hole, right? stay away!" there will be no anal intercourse at this time, my hemmorhoids were shaking in their boots. then i was even more annoyed. i almost wanted to stop, but then i felt bad for dh. and me. so then we continue, and it feels like my pubic bones are splitting apart. then we both orgasm, i manage not to crush him, and i spend 5 whole minutes getting off him, trying not to hurt myself.







:

i'd rather smell like a butcher shop!









is that TMI enough for ya, Mme Muffin?!?! :LOL


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
my hemmorhoids were shaking in their boots.

laughup







:














:









Quote:

there will be no anal intercourse at this time
I think I would rather...the baby is too low for sex.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
you ladies are seriously cracking me up. is there a hall of fame for funniest threads on MDC? we need to start a sticky!

sex at 38 weeks SUCKS. dh and i dtd a couple of nights ago, and it was so irritating. firstly, he was touching me too softly, and it just felt annoying. then, he almost entered the back door, and i was like, "HELL NO!" so i said to him, "you know that's my a$$hole, right? stay away!" there will be no anal intercourse at this time, my hemmorhoids were shaking in their boots. then i was even more annoyed. i almost wanted to stop, but then i felt bad for dh. and me. so then we continue, and it feels like my pubic bones are splitting apart. then we both orgasm, i manage not to crush him, and i spend 5 whole minutes getting off him, trying not to hurt myself.







:

i'd rather smell like a butcher shop!









is that TMI enough for ya, Mme Muffin?!?! :LOL


I just laughed so hard-and I am sitting at a cubicle pretending to work! You almost blew my cover!!!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

You know the OP where it was stinky?

How about -

My belly is so big and Low that I now cannot close my legs when I sit down. I basically have to sit with them spread wide apart like a hooker. LOL.

And now I cant hide it anymore.









Truthfully, I am probably the only one who smells it.

I know for a fact that dh avoids smelling it like the plague.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I am SOBBING with laughter. SOBBING!!!


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Ummmm.....my thighs haven't spoken to each other in a couple months now. Which is killer on my PSD, incidentally. I asked my chiro what i could do between adjustments to deal with the PSD, and she suggested I keep my knees together as much as possible--when sitting, sleeping, etc.

Oh, NOW she tells me! Damn, if I'd only kept them together NINE MONTHS AGO, I'd not be having this problem!


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Be careful with the beard trimmer ladies...I badly nicked my labia once upon a time (and boy did it bleed!) Now if I use it I make sure to hold them out of the way.









I really hate the hair removal process too, but have to keep things short with the pg discharge.

Christa


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
My belly is so big and Low that I now cannot close my legs when I sit down. I basically have to sit with them spread wide apart like a hooker. LOL.


Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Ummmm.....my thighs haven't spoken to each other in a couple months now.


My thighs have gone through a divorce. I don't think they even know what the other one looks like anymore!! I can't imagine what people around me have been smelling!


----------



## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry.

Crunchy pubic hair is so not hot.

MmeMuffin, you freaking kill me!!!

Okay, this is soooo lame compared to all of you other ladies, but....I haven't had anything to contribute here because I haven't been dealing with the stink....until now.

Yesterday I came in from walking the dog and smelled poop. So, I'm checking my shoes, checking the dog - nothing. You guessed it - that smell was coming from me! And, yes, I had showered. I guess twice daily showers are going to be required from here on out. And no more wearing the same shorts to bed several nights in a row.


----------



## look11 (Mar 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
Thanks, I forgot about smelling like a butcher shop. Ugh, ANDDDDD I got a yeast infection that smelled like that Amish Friendship bread mix. You know, the stuff that looks like snot that has been passed around since Jesus? Yeah, that.

















You're killing me! I was given the Amish Friendship Bread starter a few weeks ago and have been making it and passing it around ever since. My friends and I have noticed the husbands are freaked out by it. I just read your post to DH and we HOWLED!

Now, I've been following this thread since the beginning, thinking, "oh, tee-hee, these poor ladies and their stinky vaginas... thank goodness that's not ME." Well, the stench has hit. Every time I hit the toilet it smells like cat pee or something. Guess I got what I deserve. Glad I only have another month or so, but then I keep reading and am reminded of the "road kill effect" that happens after birth. Charming. That and the thrush that lasted 10 months before. VERY sexy. *sigh*


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
Be careful with the beard trimmer ladies...I badly nicked my labia once upon a time (and boy did it bleed!) Now if I use it I make sure to hold them out of the way.









I really hate the hair removal process too, but have to keep things short with the pg discharge.

Christa

OH GOD THAT HURTS!!! I just visualized it.

I have done it before and I have major major anxiety about it everytime I use it.

I wont use it unless I can plainly see what I am doing. Which is why things are OUT OF CONTROL in that department.


----------



## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *look11* 







You're killing me! I was given the Amish Friendship Bread starter a few weeks ago and have been making it and passing it around ever since. My friends and I have noticed the husbands are freaked out by it. I just read your post to DH and we HOWLED!

Now, I've been following this thread since the beginning, thinking, "oh, tee-hee, these poor ladies and their stinky vaginas... thank goodness that's not ME." Well, the stench has hit. Every time I hit the toilet it smells like cat pee or something. Guess I got what I deserve. Glad I only have another month or so, but then I keep reading and am reminded of the "road kill effect" that happens after birth. Charming. That and the thrush that lasted 10 months before. VERY sexy. *sigh*

Bread starter! I couldn't remember what it was called! That stuff sat and bubbled on my counter for so long. I forget what we had to do, like squish it around or something? Gosh, gross stuff. Have you actually eaten some? Maybe that's what's causing your stinky yoni? Just a thought...


----------



## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I had discharge getting all over my pubes and totally stiffening them, and copious showering/washing still wouldn't get it all out, and even when it did it'd just come back within a matter of hours. Seriously, my pubes look like I smeared glue all over them and then let 5 men ejaculate on me and then left it all to dry. BLEGH!


OMG I can't quit laughing!!!! That is so vile.


----------



## NikkiTwist (Apr 18, 2007)

blech.... god I love you guys. I think this ddc is the only thing getting my sanely (kind of) through this pregnancy.

I shower twice a day. I, like Mme Muffin am a sporadic at best hair remover. I actually LIKE my armpit hair. It's soft and fluffy and damnit, I don't really care what anyone else thinks. My wife thinks it's hysterical that her little femmy wife runs around with curly pits cuz it totally freaks out EVERYONE in Indiana. I woke up at 3 am the other day to pee (again for the 9000000th time that day) and realized that my arm pits had reached dead animal stinkiness status somehow. I FREAKED out and started sobbing and shaved my arm pits. I then realized that my yoni was also gross and shaved that. Now, I still smell bad, I have nicks on my pits AND yoni and I itch. BAH.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

I heart you guys.







:


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NikkiTwist* 
blech.... god I love you guys. I think this ddc is the only thing getting my sanely (kind of) through this pregnancy.

I shower twice a day. I, like Mme Muffin am a sporadic at best hair remover. I actually LIKE my armpit hair. It's soft and fluffy and damnit, I don't really care what anyone else thinks. My wife thinks it's hysterical that her little femmy wife runs around with curly pits cuz it totally freaks out EVERYONE in Indiana. I woke up at 3 am the other day to pee (again for the 9000000th time that day) and realized that my arm pits had reached dead animal stinkiness status somehow. I FREAKED out and started sobbing and shaved my arm pits. I then realized that my yoni was also gross and shaved that. Now, I still smell bad, I have nicks on my pits AND yoni and I itch. BAH.

I'm pretty hairy, too. My hair on my legs is fine and blonde, and it grows about 1/4" every 6 months, so I just leave that be 99% of the time. And the pits? Who cares!


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NikkiTwist* 
blech.... god I love you guys. I think this ddc is the only thing getting my sanely (kind of) through this pregnancy.

I shower twice a day. I, like Mme Muffin am a sporadic at best hair remover. I actually LIKE my armpit hair. It's soft and fluffy and damnit, I don't really care what anyone else thinks. My wife thinks it's hysterical that her little femmy wife runs around with curly pits cuz it totally freaks out EVERYONE in Indiana. I woke up at 3 am the other day to pee (again for the 9000000th time that day) and realized that my arm pits had reached dead animal stinkiness status somehow. I FREAKED out and started sobbing and shaved my arm pits. I then realized that my yoni was also gross and shaved that. Now, I still smell bad, I have nicks on my pits AND yoni and I itch. BAH.

I'm sorry you had to go through that! My yoni needs a trim so bad-but DP is doing so much for me right now because of my hip pain that I can't ask her for that. So I'm just stuck with yeti yoni. Normally I'm meticulous about shaving the armpit hair, and the legs-but lately I just don't feel like it... Actually I'm a little jealous that you were able to shave your yoni! I'm afraid to as I haven't seen it in months!


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

i'm so glad that some of our non-stinky members have a real reason to read this thread: they're stinky now too!!!

stink loves company, you know.


----------



## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

Not that my nine months pregnant body isn't capable of stinking all on its own, but the start of my stink coincided with the start of vaginal EPO use. Anybody else notice that EPO=stink?

Or is it just me after all?


----------



## jlsizemore (Sep 11, 2007)

I just had my 36 week check and my OB checked my cervix and did the Group B test. Yeah, I was hoping that he was holding his breath while he was down there. I showered right before I left the house and I used a femine wipe before I climbed up on the table. I could still smell myself. WOOOWEEE am I stinky!!


----------



## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jlsizemore* 
I just had my 36 week check and my OB checked my cervix and did the Group B test. Yeah, I was hoping that he was holding his breath while he was down there. I showered right before I left the house and I used a femine wipe before I climbed up on the table. I could still smell myself. WOOOWEEE am I stinky!!

I peed on the table right before that test! Made it even stinkier, if that's possible!








:


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I found a pube on my underbelly.







:


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
I peed on the table right before that test! Made it even stinkier, if that's possible!








:


----------



## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *NikkiTwist* 
blech.... god I love you guys. I think this ddc is the only thing getting my sanely (kind of) through this pregnancy.

I shower twice a day. I, like Mme Muffin am a sporadic at best hair remover. I actually LIKE my armpit hair. It's soft and fluffy and damnit, I don't really care what anyone else thinks. My wife thinks it's hysterical that her little femmy wife runs around with curly pits cuz it totally freaks out EVERYONE in Indiana. I woke up at 3 am the other day to pee (again for the 9000000th time that day) and realized that my arm pits had reached dead animal stinkiness status somehow. I FREAKED out and started sobbing and shaved my arm pits. I then realized that my yoni was also gross and shaved that. Now, I still smell bad, I have nicks on my pits AND yoni and I itch. BAH.


yOU ARE SO FUNNY!!

I am a complusive hair shaver, I hate the way hair feels when it rubs against my clothes I shave my legs and armpits daily sometimes 2x hair drives me nuts, I wish it didn.t just think about how much time I waste in the shower shaving!!! As for the Yoni ever since puberty I have always been a very WET in the down there region girl







so I always worried about oder so i been shaving the Yoni bald for 15 years or so I can do it by feel not sight now I have done it so often ( shave daily when not preggo) I do however only shave the Yoni once a week being preggo, its funny cuz I hate hair on my body soooooooooooo much but DH is Lebanese and is soooooooooooo incredibly hairy its rediculiuos!!


----------



## jlsizemore (Sep 11, 2007)

So apparently some time last night I threw off all the covers b/c I was hot. This morning DH woke me up asking if I smelled that noxious odor. He thought something had died under out bed and he was trying to find it. Yeah...it wasn't a dead animal..It was just me. I beat him to the shower this am. :/

Come on Tuesday...just 5 more days














:







:


----------



## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

I read this thread about once a week because I like to let the replies sort of stack up. It's a great read that way. But jeez, I cannot be doing this at work. I practically just gave myself a hernia trying not to laugh out loud, between the amish friendship bread, the crunchy pubes and the dear little child begging, "Mama, please don't fart on me." I'm supposed to be writing about municipal annexation right now. This is so much better.


----------



## yogamama74 (Mar 21, 2007)

OMG I'm here from November DDC because my baby is never coming out and I can't get past page 1 of this thread because I'm laughing so hard my belly hurts.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yogamama74* 
OMG I'm here from November DDC because my baby is never coming out and I can't get past page 1 of this thread because I'm laughing so hard my belly hurts.












































well you know what ina may says - laughter may aid dialation!

maybe the stinky TMI is our secret weapon to kick start labor!!!


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
maybe the stinky TMI is our secret weapon to kick start labor!!!

*rereads the whole thread while eating pineapple, spicy chili, having sex and drinking EPO*


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

My stink factor is going up by the day. Last night I was hanging out on the couch with DH and couldn't relax because all I could smell was myself- and I was even sitting next to the tart burner! I wasn't able to shower right away because my dad was showering and used all the hot water. So this morning I go into the shower. I wash my underarms and shave them. And they STILL smell. I wound up having to wash them like 5 times to get rid of the smell to my satisfaction.

Maybe my body is making sure that I don't go early by keeping my baby in with the threat of having to smell me once she's born!


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## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
*rereads the whole thread while eating pineapple, spicy chili, having sex and drinking EPO*

oh i so wish i could have sex







:

my hemmorhoids are getting so bad that even when i wipe 5 or more times i end up with streaks in my undies.







:


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

OK, so tonight I kept saying to DH, "The dog STINKS!" "WTF? Why is she so smelly?" etc. And then I realized the dog was outside. And the smell was me.







:


----------



## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
and she suggested I keep my knees together as much as possible--when sitting, sleeping, etc.

Oh, NOW she tells me! Damn, if I'd only kept them together NINE MONTHS AGO, I'd not be having this problem!
























laughup







:


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kirk_heidi* 
oh i so wish i could have sex

So do I. DH and I are usualy too tired by the time we even see each other after DS is asleep. It's me and my B.O.B.

Oh no... can a vibrator shake my baby's head?


----------



## kirk_heidi (Apr 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
So do I. DH and I are usualy too tired by the time we even see each other after DS is asleep. It's me and my B.O.B.

Oh no... can a vibrator shake my baby's head?

















The way things are going, I will need a recommendation on which one to get for myself too!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

OK since this is the TMI thread-the resident lesbian will share: Vibrators ROCK!!!

Google The Rabbit-you will never regret that purchase!


----------



## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
I said the EXACT same thing. But I also can barely reach my own ass, so... Also, I'm jealous that you're a poop machine. Poop is a big struggle over here, resulting in much constipation frustration. Okay, how's this for TMI? Yesterday I could NOT get this poop out. It felt like it was sideways - like the long part was laying across and thus I couldn't get it out. All I could think was... "My poo is transverse and I can't get it to turn." It took me 45 minutes. At least I had a really good book...

I *fart all the time, pregnant or not, but the smell is WAY WORSE now. My husband will cheerfully tell me how "rank" or "rancid" they are. "Ew, babe! It smells like your farts are AGED! Like the baby is kicking farts out of you that have been there for TEN YEARS!!!" Thanks babe, I love you too.
*
I'm glad you guys all feel smelly too because I feel gross and meant to post a thread but kept forgetting. I am no longer alone in my shame. Well, maybe I will be now after this particular post, but... whatever.

i so do not belong here but this made me







sorry had to post 







bye now


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
OK since this is the TMI thread-the resident lesbian will share: Vibrators ROCK!!!

Google The Rabbit-you will never regret that purchase!









I'm a fan o the Hitachi Magic Wand. But seriously, I worry about putting a virbator on baby's head n frightening baby out o position. Who do you ask about that???? Someone should do a study. Think I could get funding?

At this point, it's not a vibrator. It's an evening primrose applicator


----------



## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
I'm a fan o the Hitachi Magic Wand. But seriously, I worry about putting a virbator on baby's head n frightening baby out o position. Who do you ask about that???? Someone should do a study. Think I could get funding?

At this point, it's not a vibrator. It's an evening primrose applicator


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
I worry about putting a virbator on baby's head n frightening baby out o position. Who do you ask about that???? Someone should do a study. Think I could get funding?

At this point, it's not a vibrator. It's an evening primrose applicator 











yes, ladies, i think we've officially "gone there"! will no topic be left untouched by the stinky thread?!

unless you're sticking the vibrator into your cervix







:, i think it's probably ok.

and just think of it as an in-utero massage chair from the sharper image or something!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

talking about toys is against the ua. i know cause i have gotten in trouble for it multiple times. just an fyi


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
talking about toys is against the ua. i know cause i have gotten in trouble for it multiple times. just an fyi

you are such a bad influence


----------



## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

I Love you girls SOOOOOO Much!
You are my heroes.
That is All.








:


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
talking about toys is against the ua. i know cause i have gotten in trouble for it multiple times. just an fyi

really? that seems totally bizarre. i guess we'll see if we get busted or not.....


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I am pretty much get in so much trouble, I will know the UA so well-they'll make me a mod.


----------



## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
OK since this is the TMI thread-the resident lesbian will share: Vibrators ROCK!!!

Google The Rabbit-you will never regret that purchase!









I have been debating a rabbit purchase for years, Im sooooooooo addicted to vibrators that it's hard to me to 'O' any other way!


----------



## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

They better not shut the stinky thread down! Maybe they could edit it out or we could rename vibrators? Call em vacuum cleaners or something? Vacuuming isn't against the UA.


----------



## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

Man I haven't read this thread in a long time....I'm seriously hurting cause of laughing so hard!


----------



## lisarussell (Jan 24, 2005)

wow- I can't believe this thread is so huge. I never visited because I haven't had much issues this time (but with 5 kids, let me tell you, I was VERY stinky with #4, even DH remembers, and still teases me about it.) SO there's hope that the whole stinkiness might not return next time. I think it didn't help that I was working at a chinese restaurant during that pg and they fed us 3 meals during the shift. Lots of cabbage. And hot dogs in the stir-fry sometimes???

I have to say though, that you are all hilarious, and I've had a rather enjoyable morning reading this thread. I think I have peed like 12 times in the past 1/2 hour just so I could sustain the laughter.

You'd think I"d be gassy with all the extra vit C and veggie juice I've been having this pg, but really, I haven't. I have had some rather...um..... thick discharge but it has no odor (believe me, I check constantly) so that's been a relief.

At least all this will end soon, right?


----------



## lisarussell (Jan 24, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
So do I. DH and I are usualy too tired by the time we even see each other after DS is asleep. It's me and my B.O.B.

Oh no... can a vibrator shake my baby's head?









with the baby's head engaged, there wouldn't BE the extra space around it that creates an environment where shaken baby syndrome is an issue. IN SBS, the brain is rattling around atop its stem in a big empty head (that's really just extra room to grow because baby brains grow fast) and it get's like- knocked off the top, like in T-ball. SO right now is probably a very good time to be shaking baby up because his skull plates are a little compressed already by being locked into your pelvis.

Go for it.


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
talking about toys is against the ua. i know cause i have gotten in trouble for it multiple times. just an fyi

yeah, we've never found that out, have we?


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

HOT DOGS? In stir-fry?


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I got out of the bath this morning (so obviously, I was at my very freshest and cleanest state of being!) and started to dry off. Ds2 (almost 23 months) ran up to hug me, and of course he is eye-level with my crotch.

He yelled MAMA!! and started to give me a big, happy hug, only to stop at the last possible second, look at my crotch, back off, point a finger at it, and say "EEEEW! Gucky!"










Thanks for the confidence boost there, sweetie!

I got him back though.....later, as I was walking out of the room, he attached himself to my rear end in that peculiar way that 2yos have (sort of like when 2 people dress up in a horse costume, yk?), and *giggle* I farted on him!







:

I really didn't mean to....it just slipped out! But really, he ought to know better by now....


----------



## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
OK since this is the TMI thread-the resident lesbian will share: Vibrators ROCK!!!

Google The Rabbit-you will never regret that purchase!









Hear, hear!

If vibrators could cause shaken baby syndrome, I would be the most abusive mother in the history of the universe. Fortunately for me and my unborn child, I think they're safe.
Honestly, that is the only way I can beat insomnia nowadays. Hot tea, hot baths, reading--whatever, I'm still awake for three hours and totally shattered the next day. But five minutes of quality time with Mr. Rabbit and I'm out like a light until morning. It doesn't sound very sexy, but it's truly a lifesaver.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Diva Mama* 
At this point, it's not a vibrator. It's an evening primrose applicator 









:







:














up


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
Hear, hear!

If vibrators could cause shaken baby syndrome, I would be the most abusive mother in the history of the universe. Fortunately for me and my unborn child, I think they're safe.
Honestly, that is the only way I can beat insomnia nowadays. Hot tea, hot baths, reading--whatever, I'm still awake for three hours and totally shattered the next day. But five minutes of quality time with Mr. Rabbit and I'm out like a light until morning. It doesn't sound very sexy, but it's truly a lifesaver.









Guilty as charged, here.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I did a fair bit of research on this while I was pregnant with my son. Turns out there's a slight risk of prematurely rupturing your membranes if you have the thing actually come into contact with your cervix while it's softening up and getting ready for labor. So... er... avoid putting your toys all the way in and you should be fine.







As most women use them nearly exclusively for external stimulation, it's not an issue at all.







Vibrate your heart out.


----------



## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
Turns out there's a slight risk of prematurely rupturing your membranes if you have the thing actually come into contact with your cervix while it's softening up and getting ready for labor.

What about vigorous/passionate PIV (penis-in-vagina) intercourse then??


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I got out of the bath this morning (so obviously, I was at my very freshest and cleanest state of being!) and started to dry off. Ds2 (almost 23 months) ran up to hug me, and of course he is eye-level with my crotch.

He yelled MAMA!! and started to give me a big, happy hug, only to stop at the last possible second, look at my crotch, back off, point a finger at it, and say "EEEEW! Gucky!"










Thanks for the confidence boost there, sweetie!

I got him back though.....later, as I was walking out of the room, he attached himself to my rear end in that peculiar way that 2yos have (sort of like when 2 people dress up in a horse costume, yk?), and *giggle* I farted on him!







:

I really didn't mean to....it just slipped out! But really, he ought to know better by now....









HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *gasps with laughter*


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
I did a fair bit of research on this while I was pregnant with my son. Turns out there's a slight risk of prematurely rupturing your membranes if you have the thing actually come into contact with your cervix while it's softening up and getting ready for labor. So... er... avoid putting your toys all the way in and you should be fine.







As most women use them nearly exclusively for external stimulation, it's not an issue at all.







Vibrate your heart out.









I'm probably safe then-I tried checking my cervix yesterday and I couldn't reach. OK-and maybe Ms. GBS Positive here shouldn't do this (me)-but for those of you who are negative-isn't rupturing the membranes at this point a good thing??? -Please forgive my ignorance







:


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

While rupturing the membranes might start labor, it also might not and it does slightly increase the risk of infection. I wouldn't *try* to do it.

Christa


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Vibrators tend to have semi-pointy tops-- pointier and harder than penises. Unless your husband has a penis made of entirely inflexible material which can potentially penetrate your cervix and vibrate it open, you have nothing to worry about.

Rupturing your membranes is a BAD way to start labor, in my personal opinion. If you'll ask anyone who had labor begin this way, and then experienced a labor with membranes intact (or the other way round) they'll tell you that labor is FAR more painful after the membranes have ruptured. With Bean, it was 4.5 days before birth and lemme tell ya-- it sucked ROYALLY.







It sucked for Bean, too-- he passed meconium after two days, which of course he subsequently inhaled. It messed up all kinds of things in there.







: With BooBah my water broke before she was born. I never went into labor, but the water breaking was what made the emergency c-section necessary-- her cord prolapsed and and her feet dropped on top of it, and she didn't have a chance to move into a more favorable position because there was no fluid cushion to provide wiggle room. Rupturing your membranes when your cervix is only a centimeter or two dilated is asking for pain and miseries-- I'd strongly advise against it. (Please note that I am in no way, shape, or form a professional... but I *am* a woman who has experienced such a labor and wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy, to say nothing of an innocent baby and mother I don't know...)


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Quote:

If you'll ask anyone who had labor begin this way, and then experienced a labor with membranes intact (or the other way round) they'll tell you that labor is FAR more painful after the membranes have ruptured.
That would be me!







BIIIIIG ditto to this! DD's labor started naturally with ROM, and the ctx were MUCH more intense than with DS2, who's water didn't break until he was crowning. And they were the same size, both were back labor and virtually identical other than the ROM. DD was compound presentation, but DS2 was all wrapped up in his cord, which prolonged things a bit. So, definitely, keeping the waters intact as long as possible is the way to go!









Think of it like a shock absorber. Much softer on you (and on baby, IMO, but that's just my speculation) to be encountering that soft squishy bag of water than baby muscle and bones! Crowning, with dd, felt like I was being split in two. With ds2, it was simple ring of fire, and the worst part was the mw using a finger to loosen the cord enough to somersault him out.


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

OK got it. Water breaking before labor=Bad

Have I mentioned yet that I love you guys? I don't know what I would do if I couldn't come on here, ask a really dumb question and have everyone set me straight!


----------



## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
*Unless your husband has a penis made of entirely inflexible material which can potentially penetrate your cervix and vibrate it open,* you have nothing to worry about.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 
Rupturing your membranes is a BAD way to start labor, in my personal opinion. *If you'll ask anyone who had labor begin this way, and then experienced a labor with membranes intact (or the other way round) they'll tell you that labor is FAR more painful after the membranes have ruptured.*

I can vouch for that - OUCH!


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eilonwy* 

Rupturing your membranes is a BAD way to start labor, in my personal opinion. If you'll ask anyone who had labor begin this way, and then experienced a labor with membranes intact (or the other way round) they'll tell you that labor is FAR more painful after the membranes have ruptured.

Yes, this. If I could try next time for a vaginal birth, I would pray that the baby be born in the caul!


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
Yes, this. If I could try next time for a vaginal birth, I would pray that the baby be born in the caul!

this is my secret birth fantasy - babies born in the caul are supposed to have magical powers or something!

my last labor started with my waters breaking, and then.....nothing. cut to pitocin, epi & the grand finale: c/s!







:

having had that experience last time, i'm almost freaked out to do anything that might "stimulate" labor. but dh & i did manage to DTD this morning







(thank you, noggin!).


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
but dh & i did manage to DTD this morning







(thank you, noggin!).

Man, I haven't done the deed in MONTHS. During pregnancy, it was because of irritable uterus and the monster contractions I'd get, and now that the baby is here, I'm on post partum pelvic rest for three more weeks -- but even then I'm afraid to do it because:

1) Since the baby was so far into the birth canal before we went to emergency C-section, the doctor accidentally cut through the wall of my vagina instead of the uterine wall and brought the baby out that way. I have no idea how far up that incision is and whether it will hurt terribly when we DTD again.

2) Given the hell I went through with this delivery, I am terrified of getting pregnant again right now, and I'm Catholic, so I won't use contraception. I'm exclusively nursing, but it's hard to take that leap of faith and trust that to be enough to space pregnancies out -- I've heard stories of women getting pregnant just a few weeks later, even with ecological breastfeeding. And I've heard charting is unreliable this soon after childbirth.

But I guess that's all for another, less humorous thread. Carry on with the funny stuff!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I think dh used an entire bottle of white school clue on my down there as a prank while I was sleeping.

Oh, no, nevermind....

Its just the normal nasty crap.

Has anyone figured out a way to wash this nasty stuff off? Baking soda? Anything?

Soap doesnt work!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I think dh used an entire bottle of white school clue on my down there as a prank while I was sleeping.

Oh, no, nevermind....

Its just the normal nasty crap.

Has anyone figured out a way to wash this nasty stuff off? Baking soda? Anything?

Soap doesnt work!

Shampoo. Lather, rinse, and repeat. And maybe repeat again. That helped me way more than soap.


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

*Clarifying* shampoo. The stuff I use on my dry, curly, head-hair doesn't work, but the stuff to peel the grease from mike's scalp is more effective.







That and shaving.







:


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

i think i have to repeat like 10 times.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I am thinking *Oven Cleaner.*


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I am thinking *Oven Cleaner.*









:


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
1) Since the baby was so far into the birth canal before we went to emergency C-section, the doctor accidentally cut through the wall of my vagina instead of the uterine wall and brought the baby out that way. I have no idea how far up that incision is and whether it will hurt terribly when we DTD again.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
1) Since the baby was so far into the birth canal before we went to emergency C-section, the doctor accidentally cut through the wall of my vagina instead of the uterine wall and brought the baby out that way. I have no idea how far up that incision is and whether it will hurt terribly when we DTD again.


OMG!


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 

1) Since the baby was so far into the birth canal before we went to emergency C-section, the doctor accidentally cut through the wall of my vagina instead of the uterine wall and brought the baby out that way. I have no idea how far up that incision is and whether it will hurt terribly when we DTD again.










i TOTALLY understand your apprehension.

that is crazy. my jaw literally dropped when i read this. how did this "accidentally" happen? i hope that question doesn't come off as snarky, but shouldn't the dr know where stuff is before he makes the incision? sorry if i'm being nosy....


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 








i TOTALLY understand your apprehension.

that is crazy. my jaw literally dropped when i read this. how did this "accidentally" happen? i hope that question doesn't come off as snarky, but shouldn't the dr know where stuff is before he makes the incision? sorry if i'm being nosy....

It happens. I looked it up, there's even a name for it: "Laparoelytrotomy." When you dilate to complete and push for a long time, the tissues swell and retract and the top part of the vaginal canal can look a lot like the lower part of the uterus, particularly when the baby has descended into it and made it huge. It doesn't happen a LOT, but it happened to me.







: The doctor who cut me is a very experienced and well-respected surgeon, but a lot went wrong with this delivery -- my bladder tore badly, I was losing blood, me and the baby had high fevers due to placental infection, and I guess his primary goal was to get the baby out of me before anything else went wrong. He may not have been as meticulous as usual, in his hurry to save Noel.


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

I take a shower right before bed. I smell all good and coconutty. I wake up and I'm stinky again! I know part of it is being sick- I am trying to sweat out this cold and that means using two quilts instead of my usual one...but this is beyond normal too many covers stink! And it just keeps getting worse. A sign somethings going to happen soon? We can only hope...


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
It happens. I looked it up, there's even a name for it: "Laparoelytrotomy." When you dilate to complete and push for a long time, the tissues swell and retract and the top part of the vaginal canal can look a lot like the lower part of the uterus, particularly when ther baby has descended into it and made it huge. It doesn't happen a LOT, but it happened to me.







: The doctor who cut me is a very experienced and well-respected surgeon, but a lot went wrong with this delivery -- my bladder tore badly, I was losing blood, me and the baby had high fevers due to placental infection, and I guess his primary goal was to get the baby out of me before anything else went wrong. He may not have been as meticulous as usual, in his hurry to save Noel.

Oh, mama! I'm so sorry this happened to you.







:


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
It happens. I looked it up, there's even a name for it: "Laparoelytrotomy." When you dilate to complete and push for a long time, the tissues swell and retract and the top part of the vaginal canal can look a lot like the lower part of the uterus, particularly when ther baby has descended into it and made it huge. It doesn't happen a LOT, but it happened to me.







: The doctor who cut me is a very experienced and well-respected surgeon, but a lot went wrong with this delivery -- my bladder tore badly, I was losing blood, me and the baby had high fevers due to placental infection, and I guess his primary goal was to get the baby out of me before anything else went wrong. He may not have been as meticulous as usual, in his hurry to save Noel.

that makes sense....

of course the safety of you and your babe is the most important. but i'm sorry you had to go through all of that, and hope your recovery has been going well.


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
It happens. I looked it up, there's even a name for it: "Laparoelytrotomy." When you dilate to complete and push for a long time, the tissues swell and retract and the top part of the vaginal canal can look a lot like the lower part of the uterus, particularly when the baby has descended into it and made it huge. It doesn't happen a LOT, but it happened to me.







: The doctor who cut me is a very experienced and well-respected surgeon, but a lot went wrong with this delivery -- my bladder tore badly, I was losing blood, me and the baby had high fevers due to placental infection, and I guess his primary goal was to get the baby out of me before anything else went wrong. He may not have been as meticulous as usual, in his hurry to save Noel.

Ouch! That sounds so traumatic!


----------



## Fruitful4Him (Jun 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
It happens. I looked it up, there's even a name for it: "Laparoelytrotomy." He may not have been as meticulous as usual, in his hurry to save Noel.

I am sorry this happened to you but I am thankful all was well with your baby; how scary ((hugs))


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
Ouch! That sounds so traumatic!

It sucked big time. I'm still recovering. Thanks for your thoughts, everyone.









That said, I REALLY don't want to be known as the girl who killed the Stinky TMI thread, so let's talk about stench!

I've got a good story from while I was pregnant ... that nasty discharge (aka Elmer's Glue or the e******** of five men, take your pick) got so bad (and of course I couldn't reach to shave, remember) that the hair on both labia got tangled together and STUCK, like a big sticky dreadlock. So after using the potty, I realized my labia were essentially tied together and I couldn't wipe between them. I had to go find scissors and a hand mirror to snip the tangled part in half so I could clean myself, then into the shower I went, and shampooed the heck out of my lady bits. Apparently regular soap couldn't do the job!


----------



## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

Wow, I'm so glad you both are ok, but what trama to your body!

My first my water broke and my labor didn't start until 4 hrs later and he was born 4 hrs after that. I think between him and my 2nd his labor was easier. Maybe it was just me though...


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Ok, so how do you know that you are 36 weeks pregnant? As soon as you and hubby both finish after DTD, you immediately roll over and say "If I don't eat something RIGHT now, I'm going to barf."

How romantic.


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Ok, so how do you know that you are 36 weeks pregnant? As soon as you and hubby both finish after DTD, you immediately roll over and say "If I don't eat something RIGHT now, I'm going to barf."

How romantic.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
like a big sticky dreadlock

Oh MY but that made me laugh hysterically. Glad you and baby are both safe and sound, btw!


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 
Ok, so how do you know that you are 36 weeks pregnant? As soon as you and hubby both finish after DTD, you immediately roll over and say "If I don't eat something RIGHT now, I'm going to barf." How romantic.









We just got done DTD - I immediately pooted afterward







: We had a good laugh about how relaxed pregnancy has made us.


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dionnakay* 
We just got done DTD - I immediately pooted afterward







: We had a good laugh about how relaxed pregnancy has made us.









We showered together earlier (DH made my belly cast tonight







), and we were making out and Dh asked if I would "meet him in the bedroom" and I said, "after I fart"


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dionnakay* 
We just got done DTD - I immediately pooted afterward







: We had a good laugh about how relaxed pregnancy has made us.

You just DTD and you came immediately HERE to report on your post-coital flatulence? That's hard-core!









Now go cuddle!


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
You just DTD and you came immediately HERE to report on your post-coital flatulence? That's hard-core!









Now go cuddle!

We just finished too - DH is in the basement doing "man-things" and I'm eating and MDC-ing. It works for us.


----------



## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

ok so to combat strep B Im going to insert a garlic clove tonight and Im so scarad Im going to go into labor and the Yoni is going REAK LIKE GARLIC on top of the other yummy smells I have, or will the garlic just overpower everything------- DH is so grossed out by the garlic clove thing! but he keeps teasing me saying that I shouldn't worry I don't need to stick garlic there to keep the vampires away at night!


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
You just DTD and you came immediately HERE to report on your post-coital flatulence? That's hard-core!







Now go cuddle!

He was probably too scared to cuddle








No really, we were going to watch a movie, then I snuck into the kitchen for the last of the pumpkin bread and some MDC, and I hear him out in the living room watching football. Like starry_mama said, it works for us







We'll cuddle when we finally decide to go to sleep


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
ok so to combat strep B Im going to insert a garlic clove tonight and Im so scarad Im going to go into labor and the Yoni is going REAK LIKE GARLIC on top of the other yummy smells I have, or will the garlic just overpower everything------- DH is so grossed out by the garlic clove thing! but he keeps teasing me saying that I shouldn't worry I don't need to stick garlic there to keep the vampires away at night!

Your whole body is likley to reek. And it could sting too!

Also guys---

How discusting is it that some men have pregnancy fetishes? They should come read this thread and see if they still think pregnant chicks are "hot."


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
How discusting is it that some men have pregnancy fetishes? They should come read this thread and see if they still think pregnant chicks are "hot."










There is a whole porn industry devoted to pregnant women. It's kind of gross....


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
There is a whole porn industry devoted to pregnant women. It's kind of gross....

Imagine if the anti-porn groups got ahold of this thread. They could take down that entire genre by just sharing some key snippets with the public. I can just see it- they infiltrate the studio and in the middle of the pregnancy porn pops up discussions of crunchy pubes and transverse poo!














:


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGlimmeringHope* 
Imagine if the anti-porn groups got ahold of this thread. They could take down that entire genre by just sharing some key snippets with the public. I can just see it- they infiltrate the studio and in the middle of the pregnancy porn pops up discussions of crunchy pubes and transverse poo!














:

















But then again-there are people out there who would probably like it!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 















But then again-there are people out there who would probably like it!























Oh my god, the thought of someone reading this thread and getting aroused... uke


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Oh my god, the thought of someone reading this thread and getting aroused... uke









:


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

You must remember my line of work. I've seen just about everything, and I mean everything!!!


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Not in line with being stinky...but it's TMI and has to do with the yeti yoni parts of this thread.

Tonight I decided to defy the laws of physics and shave my legs. Which wound up giving me a semi-view of the girly bits. Now, I don't normally shave, but I do try to keep things trimmed up. And what I saw was NOT trimmed up!







So I decided I could just shave since I was already in the shower. Yeah...not a good idea. I was shaving blind, and when I stood on a stepstool in front of a mirror afterwards...its scary! I'm glad DH has a beard trimmer- I'm going to make him even things up for me when he gets home from work.


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
You must remember my line of work. I've seen just about everything, and I mean everything!!!


I could just about imagine you've seen and heard humanity at it's ...ahhhh "most interesting"!

My latest stinky story-- I had dreams last night about how bad I reeked, and in one dream I took a bath in H2O2 and it bubbled up and overflowed the bath. As soon as I woke up at 6 am, I realized that I *did* in fact smell like "old sex" and I headed straight for the bath (used water not hydrogen peroxide, lol) and used my favorite jasmine scented hand-made soap. Mmm much better, and promptly went back to bed and to sleep for a few more hours.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Oh my god, the thought of someone reading this thread and getting aroused... uke

well, your the one who talked about the 5 dudes and the subsequent state of your pubes!!!!.....























Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
You must remember my line of work. I've seen just about everything, and I mean everything!!!

i don't know what you do, and now i'm very curious!


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 

i don't know what you do, and now i'm very curious!

I'm a psychotherapist. Have been in this line of work for 10 years and believe me I have heard everything!


----------



## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

I thought this would fit best here, and I didn't want to start a new thread.

I wiped yesterday and had 2 GLOBS of snot, like thick, gross, stringy, clear snot.

So yeah...plain ol' vagina boogers or mucus plug? Nothing since, and it didn't look like sex leftovers. No bloody show, I would have jumped for JOY over bloody show. I'm so ready to meet my baby I think I'm making it more than it is. grr


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
You must remember my line of work. I've seen just about everything, and I mean everything!!!

Yeah, me too....

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 
I'm a psychotherapist. Have been in this line of work for 10 years and believe me I have heard everything!

Oh.







I'm a former sex industry worker.







:


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
Yeah, me too....

Oh.







I'm a former sex industry worker.







:

Don't hide! We both have jobs where people tell you their most intimiate secrets!









Nursingmama05-I never thought I'd say this-but I want MUCOUS!!!! It would mean these crazy ctx were doing something!!!! I'm so jealous!


----------



## redeyedvireo (Oct 24, 2007)

Oh my.







This thread just keeps getting better. I really don't have anything to contribute at this point - my stinkiness and stickiness is all pretty boring and average, it sounds like. I almost hope something goes horribly icky so I can join in... Anyway, thanks for the stories!


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
Yeah, me too....

Oh.







I'm a former sex industry worker.







:

Don't hide! You're not the only one!


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kittywitty* 
Don't hide! You're not the only one!

Well this isn't a pg tmi story, but when I returned to dancing when 4yoDD was 3 months old, I took my pump along and pumped in the dressing room several times a night.

I leaked and left wet spots on many-a-man's shirt, I have no doubt.


----------



## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
Well this isn't a pg tmi story, but when I returned to dancing when 4yoDD was 3 months old, I took my pump along and pumped in the dressing room several times a night.

I leaked and left wet spots on many-a-man's shirt, I have no doubt.









That's hilarious.
One of my sister's best friends is a public school system substitute teacher by day and a dominatrix by night, and she says both jobs require many of the same skills.
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
One of my sister's best friends is a public school system substitute teacher by day and a dominatrix by night, and she says both jobs require many of the same skills.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

you never know when my bi-polar will kick back in and I become a future sex industry worker. I go through phases. LoL

Do you think there is alot of farting in pregnant porn?







:

And maybe complaining about back pain?


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
you never know when my bi-polar will kick back in and I become a future sex industry worker. I go through phases. LoL

Do you think there is alot of farting in pregnant porn?







:

And maybe complaining about back pain?









: What about maneuvering to get into the right position? Also who shaves their girl parts? I know if I'm doing any pregnant porn-they gotta love my yeti yoni 'cause if I can't see it-I aint shaving it!!! They also better love my discharge!


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

I'm doing laundry today and there was alot of it. The kids and I had no pj's left. But, I just finished the white and there was only one pair of dd's panties in there. Which means the child hasn't had her underpants changed in about 4 days.







: when I last gave her a bath.









Christa


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
.....Do you think there is alot of farting in pregnant porn?







:

There is a late night TV program over here called "What the F*^#!?" and they have a regular tape submitter nicknamed Lizzy: Queen of Farts. She remains fully clothed but strikes provactive poses to pass long loud gas. I bet there are people out there that think that it is sexy---GACK!!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I'm doing laundry today and there was alot of it. The kids and I had no pj's left. But, I just finished the white and there was only one pair of dd's panties in there. Which means the child hasn't had her underpants changed in about 4 days.







: when I last gave her a bath.









Christa

You arent the only one!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

SO MUCH DISCHARGE. Seriously. And now I keep sniffing my underwear to make sure it isn't amniotic fluid trickling out, since it's seriously pouring out like a faucet someone didn't shut off. It's flowing like menses, so I am sniffing to see if it has that sweet smell that amniotic fluid is supposed to have.

Let me tell you, it is really difficult to sniff your underwear when your belly is immense.


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I'm doing laundry today and there was alot of it. The kids and I had no pj's left. But, I just finished the white and there was only one pair of dd's panties in there. Which means the child hasn't had her underpants changed in about 4 days.







: when I last gave her a bath.









Christa

nak

Well, it's a really good thing SHE is not pregnant, or you'd have some serious stink issues!


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
SO MUCH DISCHARGE. Seriously. And now I keep sniffing my underwear to make sure it isn't amniotic fluid trickling out, since it's seriously pouring out like a faucet someone didn't shut off. It's flowing like menses, so I am sniffing to see if it has that sweet smell that amniotic fluid is supposed to have.

Let me tell you, it is really difficult to sniff your underwear when your belly is immense.

Here's a tip -- sniff the tp.


----------



## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
Well this isn't a pg tmi story, but when I returned to dancing when 4yoDD was 3 months old, I took my pump along and pumped in the dressing room several times a night.

I leaked and left wet spots on many-a-man's shirt, I have no doubt.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

today i have diarrhea. and i literally almost crapped myself while cleaning up in the kitchen. then, when i realized that i wasn't farting, i cried out "OH $HIT!"

then i yelled, "LITERALLY!"


----------



## look11 (Mar 21, 2006)

What the heck does amniotic fluid smell like? I hate to say it, but my hoo-haa smells like cat pee!


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
That's hilarious.
One of my sister's best friends is a public school system substitute teacher by day and a dominatrix by night, and she says both jobs require many of the same skills.
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Why does this not surprise me? I guess I had one too many dominatrix teachers.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *happyhippiemama* 
Well this isn't a pg tmi story, but when I returned to dancing when 4yoDD was 3 months old, I took my pump along and pumped in the dressing room several times a night.

I leaked and left wet spots on many-a-man's shirt, I have no doubt.









Did you hear about on the news awhile back some guy was trying to sue a dancer or something b/c he got squirted?









When my water broke, it had a distinct, but not strong smell. I wouldn't say cat pee...


----------



## Right of Passage (Jul 25, 2007)

I was told it smells like ocean water, very salty

IDK I don't remember any smells from my last labor.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *look11* 
What the heck does amniotic fluid smell like? I hate to say it, but my hoo-haa smells like cat pee!

I heard it smells sweet. I think I googled 'amniotic fluid smell' and found some stuff...


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

I think it smells like the ocean too.


----------



## HoneymoonBaby (Mar 31, 2004)

I've always heard that amniotic fluid smells like antifreeze.


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoneymoonBaby* 
I've always heard that amniotic fluid smells like antifreeze.









I'm glad my amniotic fluid doesn't smell like antifreeze - isn't that stuff nasty and toxic smelling?!?


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

To me it smells a bit almondy, a bit musky. Sweet, but with that almond extract bitterness, if that makes sense.

But I'm guessing that every woman's smells different, and it prolly smells different with each baby. Heck, it probably changes according to what you eat--I have heard that the flavor changes based on your diet, so it would make sense, IMO, that the smell would also!


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
To me it smells a bit almondy, a bit musky. Sweet, but with that almond extract bitterness, if that makes sense.

But I'm guessing that every woman's smells different, and it prolly smells different with each baby. Heck, it probably changes according to what you eat--I have heard that the flavor changes based on your diet, so it would make sense, IMO, that the smell would also!









Well, if thats true, its no wonder mine smelled like the ocean last time - All I ate for 2 whole months was fish and chips.







For real. THat is sooooo funny to me right now!























This time all I eat is cake. I probably have chocolate-scented amniotic fluid.


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

mmmmmm.....cake......


----------



## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

Mine has a sweet smell to it too. With the amount of oranges I've been eating lately mine may smell like an orange grove.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Antifreeze smells andd tastes sweet.

Which is why dogs and kids die all the time drinking it.


----------



## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kittywitty* 
Why does this not surprise me? I guess I had one too many dominatrix teachers.









Did you hear about on the news awhile back some guy was trying to sue a dancer or something b/c he got squirted?









When my water broke, it had a distinct, but not strong smell. I wouldn't say cat pee...

I used to work in a strip bar for 9 years and guys always asked for lactating woman, my good friend was a DJ and would pump w/ her shirt off while DJing ( it was so funny to see some guys get soooooooo uncomfortable about it) and on the days she was drinking at work ( she had to pump and dump) she would sell "shots" in shot glass of breastmilk for 20 dollars and guys would line up!!!!!! Guys are suck freaks, I sold quite a bit of my thrush tanited breastmilk to perverted men on ebay!!!


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
I used to work in a strip bar for 9 years and guys always asked for lactating woman, my good friend was a DJ and would pump w/ her shirt off while DJing ( it was so funny to see some guys get soooooooo uncomfortable about it) and on the days she was drinking at work ( she had to pump and dump) she would sell "shots" in shot glass of breastmilk for 20 dollars and guys would line up!!!!!! Guys are suck freaks, I sold quite a bit of my thrush tanited breastmilk to perverted men on ebay!!!

















:

hmmmm maybe I can quit my job after all!


----------



## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
I used to work in a strip bar for 9 years and guys always asked for lactating woman, my good friend was a DJ and would pump w/ her shirt off while DJing ( it was so funny to see some guys get soooooooo uncomfortable about it) and on the days she was drinking at work ( she had to pump and dump) she would sell "shots" in shot glass of breastmilk for 20 dollars and guys would line up!!!!!! Guys are suck freaks, I sold quite a bit of my thrush tanited breastmilk to perverted men on ebay!!!









Wow. Just wow. I thought I had heard everything. Clearly not.







:


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
I used to work in a strip bar for 9 years and guys always asked for lactating woman, my good friend was a DJ and would pump w/ her shirt off while DJing ( it was so funny to see some guys get soooooooo uncomfortable about it) and on the days she was drinking at work ( she had to pump and dump) she would sell "shots" in shot glass of breastmilk for 20 dollars and guys would line up!!!!!! Guys are suck freaks, I sold quite a bit of my thrush tanited breastmilk to perverted men on ebay!!!


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
I used to work in a strip bar for 9 years and guys always asked for lactating woman, my good friend was a DJ and would pump w/ her shirt off while DJing ( it was so funny to see some guys get soooooooo uncomfortable about it) and on the days she was drinking at work ( she had to pump and dump) she would sell "shots" in shot glass of breastmilk for 20 dollars and guys would line up!!!!!! Guys are suck freaks, I sold quite a bit of my thrush tanited breastmilk to perverted men on ebay!!!









I have already emailed dp and told him we may have just found our new get rich quick scheme


----------



## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

OMG that's so funny!! I saw one time on Craigstlist a guy looking for a lactating woman that would let him nurse from her, he was looking to pay BIG bucks too.


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *expectantmami* 







:

hmmmm maybe I can quit my job after all!

No joke! Now I know what to do when I need the $ !!


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

I have an embarassing question that is appropriate for this thread.

Why is my, umm, butt, itching?







Is it hemmoroids? What helps?

Christa


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
I used to work in a strip bar for 9 years and guys always asked for lactating woman, my good friend was a DJ and would pump w/ her shirt off while DJing ( it was so funny to see some guys get soooooooo uncomfortable about it) and on the days she was drinking at work ( she had to pump and dump) she would sell "shots" in shot glass of breastmilk for 20 dollars and guys would line up!!!!!! Guys are suck freaks, I sold quite a bit of my thrush tanited breastmilk to perverted men on ebay!!!

















: Dude, $20 a shot?! I'd never have to worry about gas money again... heck, I might even be able to see a dentist after a few weeks of that...







(Rynna, who produces gallons of milk with each new baby)


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I have an embarassing question that is appropriate for this thread.

Why is my, umm, butt, itching?







Is it hemmoroids? What helps?

Christa

mine itches for lots of reasons. Sometimes hemmoroids, sometimes, it's because I can't quite get everything when I wipe.







:







: Taking a shower helps.


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I have an embarassing question that is appropriate for this thread.

Why is my, umm, butt, itching?







Is it hemmoroids? What helps?

Christa


could be yeast. try a probiotic.


----------



## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I have an embarassing question that is appropriate for this thread.

Why is my, umm, butt, itching?







Is it hemmoroids? What helps?

Christa

Is it getting really cold where you live? Taking hot showers in cold weather causes my skin to get really dry, and in the shower the water hits your back/butt more than any other area....could be as simple as dry skin.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wholewheatmama* 
Wow. Just wow. I thought I had heard everything. Clearly not.







:









up

word to that!!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I have an embarassing question that is appropriate for this thread.

Why is my, umm, butt, itching?







Is it hemmoroids? What helps?

Christa

is it in your bum or your bumcheeks?

if it's hemorrhoids, witch hazel pads, flushable wipes, a peri bottle and some preparation H cream can help. try to avoid constipation and sitting on the toilet for extended periods of time. taking a rutin supplement along with vitamin c may also help.

trust me, i know ALL about it.


----------



## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

I think it must be hemmoroids. It's the "functional" part of my bum







and it somehow just doesn't feel "right" Kinda bumpy and lumpy. I tried witch hazel and that seems to help (as did a shower).

I've been using my kiddo's potty wipes b/c tp just wasn't working well enough.

Christa


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## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

maybe its a reaction to the kids wipes. We had to stop using them cause my boys were getting rashes from them.


----------



## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I think it must be hemmoroids. It's the "functional" part of my bum







and it somehow just doesn't feel "right" Kinda bumpy and lumpy. I tried witch hazel and that seems to help (as did a shower).

I've been using my kiddo's potty wipes b/c tp just wasn't working well enough.

Christa

lumpy bumhole? feels like it's turning inside out when you push? that, my dear, is a hemorrhoid.

TP is the enemy! the peri bottle feels great, too. i've been using cvs wipes, then a witch hazel pad, then an application of cream every time i have a bm. which is a LOT lately (click here if you dare! http://www.mothering.com/discussions...=1#post9920892).

laying down helps, too!


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *crsta33* 
I think it must be hemmoroids. It's the "functional" part of my bum







and it somehow just doesn't feel "right" Kinda bumpy and lumpy. I tried witch hazel and that seems to help (as did a shower).

I've been using my kiddo's potty wipes b/c tp just wasn't working well enough.

Christa

I would insert a VIt. E capsule...internally twice a day. And use some kind of vaseline or other lube before you go #2. Witch hazel compresses in between.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I am so blessed I havent had problems with hem's in 4 pregnancys. Where is the freaking praying smiley? I have been trying to use her ALL DAY!


----------



## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

I never got them with any pregnancy either. But right before I got pregnant this time I had a bout from hell. It was terrible and some how they went away on their own. Don't ask me how, but I'm so thankful they did!


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## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

Whew...my stank has finally arrived. Dh and I had a noon time romp and I was so embarrased by the smell. WTH??? I just showered last night too. uke


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## crsta33 (Oct 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *clintonhillmama* 
lumpy bumhole? feels like it's turning inside out when you push? that, my dear, is a hemorrhoid.

I had wondered, but thought maybe it wasn't b/c it really isn't as bad as I've always heard they are. Doesn't hurt, it's that obtrusive, and only just started itching. It's not surprising though...I think I had them with the other 2 pgs and I'm so chronically constipated anway.









At least now I know.

Christa


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

is no one stinky anymore? have we discussed every TMI subject?

this thread was on page 4.

maybe lack of stinkiness is a prelabor sign.....


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

Yesterday before my shower I smelled like feet and old Cheetos. My cat, who usually LOVES it when I smell (he smells pretty bad, so I think it makes him happy to not be alone) came trotting over to me to snuggle. Nothing can deter this cat from snuggles when he's in the mood - seriously, NOTHING. He came over, purring, and then took a whiff, glared at me, and RAN from the room and wouldn't come near me again. Once I showered, I was fair game. What does THAT say?


----------



## jwpsgurl (Apr 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Yesterday before my shower I smelled like feet and old Cheetos. My cat, who usually LOVES it when I smell (he smells pretty bad, so I think it makes him happy to not be alone) came trotting over to me to snuggle. Nothing can deter this cat from snuggles when he's in the mood - seriously, NOTHING. He came over, purring, and then took a whiff, glared at me, and RAN from the room and wouldn't come near me again. Once I showered, I was fair game. What does THAT say?


ROFL...I don't have the stink yet, it showed up in my 3rd trimester last time, I think...


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Has anyone else been peeing themselves?







:

I am sitting here on my birth ball and I'm pretty sure it's not my water. But gah, I hope I didn't just pee my pants. Nothing happened. It just got hot.


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kittywitty* 
Has anyone else been peeing themselves?







:

All the time. I don't put on undies anymore without a panty liner, b/c I don't know when I'll do any number of things that will make me pee (cough, laugh, sneeze, breathe). Last night I wasn't really thinking clearly (it's this cold, dang it) and got undressed to go to bed. Standing in the bathroom (naked) putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, I sneezed four times in a row. I've never been a serial sneezer - until the moment I was standing naked, 9 months pregnant, and panty linerless. I need to wash the area rug now.


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Yeah it really sucks when you have 2 pairs of pants-one in the wash. And you pee through the other. With dh right there. "I'm just going to go change into boxers in this freezing weather because...I'm hot?"







:


----------



## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kittywitty* 
Yeah it really sucks when you have 2 pairs of pants-one in the wash. And you pee through the other. With dh right there. "I'm just going to go change into boxers in this freezing weather because...I'm hot?"







:









dp, ever the comedian, knows it's time to cut the jokey-jokes when I breathlessly say "STOP!", because if he goes any farther, I'm probably going to have to change.
Last week, it was too late, and as I struggled up from the couch (still laughing and suffering the consequences), he said, "did you pee yourself?" Like it is the most normal thing in the world for your significant other to regularly wet her pants.
The first time I really wet myself I had been laughing, then immediately lost it and started sobbing. That's when the understanding developed that one word was all it would take to shut dp up








He regularly says "I can't wait til you're not pg anymore so I can follow up on my jokes! And poke (aka tickle) your ribs again!" I miss the tickling too, strange as that may sound


----------



## happyhippiemama (Apr 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dionnakay* 
I've never been a serial sneezer - until the moment I was standing naked, 9 months pregnant, and panty linerless. I need to wash the area rug now.


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

WHY do I bother with tp anymore? My hands have had more pee on them in the past few days than in the last 2 years of diaper changes! As I got out DH's trimmer, I chanted "hey hey- ho ho- this yeti yoni's got to go." But still, the magic pee manages to discintegrate any tp to come within 5 inches of it.

:stinky


----------



## Quindin (Aug 22, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
Nothing can deter this cat from snuggles when he's in the mood - seriously, NOTHING. He came over, purring, and then took a whiff, glared at me, and RAN from the room and wouldn't come near me again. Once I showered, I was fair game. What does THAT say?


----------



## wake_up (Aug 1, 2007)

If this isn't TMI, I don't know what is.

And I don't know what possesses me to post it on teh interwebz, but I just feel the need to share this with y'all.

For the past week or so, I've been using garlic suppositories at night alternated with tea tree oil tampons during the day to try and beat the BV, as directed by my midwife. And the first time I did the garlic, I couldn't find it to take it out... assumed it came out in a nighttime pee. Since then I've been sewing thread through the cloves as insurance.

So today at lunch I decided not to replace the tea tree tampon, to let
the old vagina relax a bit. Just now I went pee and there was a *plop*
- and I was stunned to witness the First Garlic Clove at the bottom of
the toilet bowl! It was a little golden brown, but intact and very
well-preserved. Then I had a gigantic poop.

1) does this mean I have a freakishly cavernously long vaginal canal
that no baby's head will be able to travel through safely/within a
reasonable amount of time?

2) conversely, does the passing of the First Clove signify a sudden
increased tendency to push out foreign objects, indicating an imminent
labor?

3) what else could be stuck up there, I wonder?


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wake_up* 
3) what else could be stuck up there, I wonder?



















I think it's fairly normal. I know I've heard other people talk about that happening. I always put some floss through mine with a needle so I can find it. Digging those suckers out hurts!


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Oh, man! That's hilarious! What else, indeed? A gold mine would be a cool discovery....

I got a question: I haven't really had any major problems with constipation at all this pg....just a couple days here and there, but easily resolved, KWIM? And, for the last couple weeks, I've been quite loosey goosey, LOL!








But yesterday and today, I've been soooooo stopped up!

But when I do go, it's not hard like constipation, it's just as soft as it has been--just hard to get anything out, if that makes sense. I have the urge, but not much comes of it.

Could this be because the baby is so low? Maybe pressing on my sphincter or something? Is that possible?


----------



## CowsRock (Aug 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
But yesterday and today, I've been soooooo stopped up!

But when I do go, it's not hard like constipation, it's just as soft as it has been--just hard to get anything out, if that makes sense. I have the urge, but not much comes of it.

Could this be because the baby is so low? Maybe pressing on my sphincter or something? Is that possible?

No answer for you, but once again I am right there with ya. I attributed mine to the fact that my hubby stopped making my fruit shakes which was how I got my daily flax...but your explanation is probably closer to reality...especially since he stopped making my shakes many weeks ago and this has just been the last couple days just like you.


----------



## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wake_up* 
3) what else could be stuck up there, I wonder?









Stick some coal in there...maybe a diamond will fall out!


----------



## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Oh, man! That's hilarious! What else, indeed? A gold mine would be a cool discovery....

I got a question: I haven't really had any major problems with constipation at all this pg....just a couple days here and there, but easily resolved, KWIM? And, for the last couple weeks, I've been quite loosey goosey, LOL!







But yesterday and today, I've been soooooo stopped up!

But when I do go, it's not hard like constipation, it's just as soft as it has been--just hard to get anything out, if that makes sense. I have the urge, but not much comes of it.

Could this be because the baby is so low? Maybe pressing on my sphincter or something? Is that possible?

Come over to my house and I'll share my stomach bug/diarrhea germs with you.







You'll never want to poop again.


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Did I mention that dd was up all night last night vomiting? And she's threatening to do so again tonight, although all is quiet for the moment.

And ds2 has had atrocious diapers today--the kind that stink you out of house and home and leave a charred spot on the walls! The kind of stench that nothing can remove!









So, all told, I hope you'll understand if I choose to pass on your invitation!







What we've got over here is close enough for me!!


----------



## wake_up (Aug 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MoreThanApplesauce* 
Stick some coal in there...maybe a diamond will fall out!

Nah, I've definitely been neglecting my Kegels way too much for the whole coal/diamond thing to work...


----------



## Sihaya (Jul 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *wake_up* 
3) what else could be stuck up there, I wonder?

















Your story reminds me of the time in college when I accidentally inserted a tampon without taking the old one out...and didn't notice it until _two_ of them came out


----------



## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Oh, man! That's hilarious! What else, indeed? A gold mine would be a cool discovery....

I got a question: I haven't really had any major problems with constipation at all this pg....just a couple days here and there, but easily resolved, KWIM? And, for the last couple weeks, I've been quite loosey goosey, LOL!







But yesterday and today, I've been soooooo stopped up!

But when I do go, it's not hard like constipation, it's just as soft as it has been--just hard to get anything out, if that makes sense. I have the urge, but not much comes of it.

Could this be because the baby is so low? Maybe pressing on my sphincter or something? Is that possible?

That's my problem (see my constipation/prune juice thread). I was given the advice to take EPO. I'll poop and get tiny little soft things...


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

I ate too much rice the other day and it didn't come out till 4am this morning. After chugging water and hot tea a little while ago... well right now I'm thankful for laptop+wifi so I can type while on the toilet.


----------



## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Did I mention that dd was up all night last night vomiting? And she's threatening to do so again tonight, although all is quiet for the moment.

And ds2 has had atrocious diapers today--the kind that stink you out of house and home and leave a charred spot on the walls! The kind of stench that nothing can remove!









So, all told, I hope you'll understand if I choose to pass on your invitation!







What we've got over here is close enough for me!!


----------



## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
Did I mention that dd was up all night last night vomiting? And she's threatening to do so again tonight, although all is quiet for the moment.

And ds2 has had atrocious diapers today--the kind that stink you out of house and home and leave a charred spot on the walls! The kind of stench that nothing can remove!









So, all told, I hope you'll understand if I choose to pass on your invitation!







What we've got over here is close enough for me!!









There's a time and a place for everything, and those viruses are, in my opinion, the time and place for sposies.







:







:


----------



## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Bwahahahahaaa!!! I love you for that! Especially since I went into disposable mode about a week ago.....disposable diapers and paper plates until January!







And not one bit







: about it!







:

Okay, maybe one tiny bit....







but it's something I need to do for a short time, so I'll just be glad the virus happened along when it did!

PS....FTR, the new baby _will_ get cloth when s/he decides to come out.....if that makes any difference to him/her....come out come out where ever you are! Olly olly oxen free!


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Spicy Indian curry is now banned from this household! (as well as spicy burritos) The stench of the aftermath is enough to lay a city down to the ground! Both Hubby and I were soooo gassy and stinky that we made each other's eyes burn!

So spicy foods are out for natural induction....wonder what I'll smell like after eating a bazillion pineapples?


----------



## Diva Mama (Jun 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizzardbits* 
So spicy foods are out for natural induction....wonder what I'll smell like after eating a bazillion pineapples?

A men's room in hawaii







:


----------



## look11 (Mar 21, 2006)

BOY is it stinky! Can someone tell me why my vagina smells like male cat spray?? What the heck does THAT mean? It comes and goes, but last night it could knock you over. It's not an infection type smell... I guess it's really more ammonia? WTF?


----------



## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

bumping this up for some July Ladies who are just discovering their stink!

Welcome to the smell....

Oh and by the way....a week of bloody show uke IS NASTY!!!!


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

LOL.

I was wondering how all our PPD ladies are doing?

At the moment, if I lost my mucous plug, it would actually get stuck and I wouldn't know it.

Ewwwww....

This thread is Hot.


----------



## wholewheatmama (Oct 22, 2005)

I avoided most of the stink during pregnancy. I'm making up for it now, though. Man, lochia is foul!!! I can't wait for this to stop. I'm trying to cut the smell with some lavender EO, but I'm afraid I will have that disgusting association for the rest of my life. Ah well, I'm willing to take that chance. Blech.


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

1. All I could think about in the days post-partum was this thread and how you ladies were NOT KIDDING. PP stink is ATROCIOUS. I almost barfed on myself each time I went to the bathroom. BLEGH!

2. One time I had a really bad YI (story of my life) and I inserted a clove of garlic to treat it as usual. The next morning I couldn't find it and assumed it fell out on its own and I hadn't noticed. Over the next couple weeks I had a pap smear and lots of sex. I was on Nuvaring at this time and at the pap my gyno said she had never seen a Nuva in action but that it looked way diff than she expected. So, 2-3 weeks after the garlic insertion, I was peeing, and suddenly felt something slipping out of my vagina. "OH NO! MY RING!" I thought... nope. An old-ass clove of garlic slipped right out and into the toilet. No WONDER I smelled so weird after sex each time.....


----------



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

oh god!!! Was it moldy or anything? yuck!


----------



## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

No... but it was brown, covered in vag-juices, and REALLY old-looking. I actually showed it to my husband (back when we were still engaged, aw) because it was so weird. He thought it was HILARIOUS. And gross.


----------



## LaLibertad (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
1. All I could think about in the days post-partum was this thread and how you ladies were NOT KIDDING. PP stink is ATROCIOUS. I almost barfed on myself each time I went to the bathroom. BLEGH!

Ditto ditto ditto. Though I'm glad someone mentioned it! Poor DH was warned ahead of time, but he is a real trooper with all this grossness.


----------



## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
No... but it was brown, covered in vag-juices, and REALLY old-looking. I actually showed it to my husband (back when we were still engaged, aw) because it was so weird. He thought it was HILARIOUS. And gross.

What if it woulda sprouted?









Ya never know, sometimes I leave them on my counter for so long they start sprouting.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
What if it woulda sprouted?









Ya never know, sometimes I leave them on my counter for so long they start sprouting.

I wonder if garlic sprouts at 98 degrees and in the dark? LOL.

Anyone here garden?

PPD is by far the worse grossness ever, in the whole world, that I have yet experienced.

I have no idea what the future-menopause, and aging, holds though.

I think PPD will win.


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

I don't know...

I just know she had me at brown and covered in vag-juice







:

oh God...uke


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MmeMuffin* 
1. All I could think about in the days post-partum was this thread and how you ladies were NOT KIDDING. PP stink is ATROCIOUS. I almost barfed on myself each time I went to the bathroom. BLEGH!

Yes yes yes! Thankfully my pp bleeding is almost done with so the stink is lessening now.

And then there's the faint smell of old breastmilk that manages to get on your clothes and baby overnight because you've both slept in a puddle all night long. And the rash you get from the same thing.









And hormones have made my face look like I'm a 13 year old going through puberty again.


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
I wonder if garlic sprouts at 98 degrees and in the dark? LOL.

Anyone here garden?

ahahahaha ewwwwwww

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 
I don't know...

I just know she had me at brown and covered in vag-juice







:

oh God...uke











Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGlimmeringHope* 
And then there's the faint smell of old breastmilk that manages to get on your clothes and baby overnight because you've both slept in a puddle all night long. And the rash you get from the same thing.









dude srsly. nothin like th e smell of ol d milk.


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## Momma2DoubleCuties (Mar 11, 2006)

Gosh I remember with ds2 he was so chunky he was about 4 weeks or so old and just had this stank to him. I couldn't figure out what it was for the life of me. Well come to find out it was old stanky milk that got in his fat rolls in his neck and I wasn't ever able to get it all cleaned out. Poor baby had a big rash and the worst smelling neck ever. It was nasty. He smelled so good after his bath and from there on out, and still to this day I still am anal about cleaning his neck because of it.


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## redeyedvireo (Oct 24, 2007)

Augh! Post partum stink is foul, foul, foul! Nothing to add, just - ick.


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## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

i can't believe it's taken me this long to read up on everyone's shared pp stank. i was beginning to think something was wrong with me!!


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

nothing new to add.

just that i still stink, pp, too!


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

nothing new to add.

just that i still stink, pp, too! but now its worse when i wake up due to extreme night time sweating.

ewwww.


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## joannalovesyou (Oct 30, 2007)

i stink much worse pp than i did while pregnant. major culprits are the bleeding, which has increased in stinkiness as its gotten browner, and the fact that my c-section incision developed (drumroll...) a yeast infection! YES because i have to wear underwear so that i can wear a pad for pp bleeding, my incision wasn't getting enough airflow and staying cool, so i developed a damn yeast infection and have to clean it, dry it, and powder it _four times a day._ the only thing i'm capable of doing four times a day at this juncture is nurse. i mean, i'm only _eating_ twice a day.


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Ha! There ain't no STINK on earth like the yeast infection in the incision stink! I had that with Lili and man oh day! Even stink would say it stinks.

Use your peri bottle to hose it off when you pee. Pat it. Blow dry it. Powder it.

And here


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joannalovesyou* 
i stink much worse pp than i did while pregnant. major culprits are the bleeding, which has increased in stinkiness as its gotten browner, and the fact that my c-section incision developed (drumroll...) a yeast infection! YES because i have to wear underwear so that i can wear a pad for pp bleeding, my incision wasn't getting enough airflow and staying cool, so i developed a damn yeast infection and have to clean it, dry it, and powder it _four times a day._ the only thing i'm capable of doing four times a day at this juncture is nurse. i mean, i'm only _eating_ twice a day.

that is just wrong. no pp mama should have to deal with a yeast infection in her scar!!!!







:







:







:


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## Code Name Mama (Oct 5, 2007)

nak
dear sweet jesus i don't even want to admit this, but kieran needs to go on the stinky thread.







:
his umb. cord stump has a very pungent odor, and i'm at a loss. it doesn't look infected to me (no red streaks, small amount of goo but it looks normal compared to everything i've read/seen, doesn't seem to hurt him when touched, etc.). i've cleaned it with both water and alcohol (to try to get rid of the smell), but nothing helps. my poor son, he's too young to develop a funk complex!

but man do i love this sweet stinky baby!!


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Cami's smelled like roadkill and then fell off when she was 20 days old.


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dionnakay* 
nak
dear sweet jesus i don't even want to admit this, but kieran needs to go on the stinky thread.







:
his umb. cord stump has a very pungent odor, and i'm at a loss. it doesn't look infected to me (no red streaks, small amount of goo but it looks normal compared to everything i've read/seen, doesn't seem to hurt him when touched, etc.). i've cleaned it with both water and alcohol (to try to get rid of the smell), but nothing helps. my poor son, he's too young to develop a funk complex!

but man do i love this sweet stinky baby!!









dd1's cord got really gross...do you have any goldenseal? if you do, break open a capsule and sprinkle the powder on the stump (be generous!) at every change for a couple days. Use a q-tip to clean out any goo first. If you don't have goldenseal, you can dab some neosporin on it. Again, be generous, really get it good around the base. Then be sure to clean all the old off before putting new on at the next change.

According to my mw, alcohol isn't a good idea--it dries the skin too much, causing miniscule lacerations (kinda like how your hands can crack when they are really dry during the winter, yk?) which makes infection even more likely and prolongs healing. She recommends witch hazel instead of alcohol, or even better, lavender essential oil.

Just fwiw....


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

dude, will someone please tell me what "nak" means?
i have no idea, and i've seen it a bunch of times now.

pearl's stump STANK too. mw & ped said to clean it with water - a soaking wet washcloth to get the goo out, but both warned it wouldn't eradicate the funk. then, if almost fell off - but it was hanging by a thread. then, it seemed like it wanted to reattach itself. good lord.

then it finally fell off, but there seems to be another round of drying and bits falling off. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.


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## MamaFern (Dec 13, 2003)

nak = nursing at keyboard


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaFern* 
nak = nursing at keyboard









aha!
thank you mamafern!


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Hooray for postpartum stink!







uke

An ode to the Stank:

How foul, how foul my gaseous plumage
that waketh me with noxious fumage
My dripping pits, all stank with sweat
that leave my shirt all gross and wet
And curdled milk- that sour smell-
hath soaked into my shirt as well!
Could someone perhaps tell me please-
why I reek like cottage cheese?
What rotten food- what ghastly scent
could rival my predicament?
As I exude these pungent wafts
and replace the air with nasty drafts
I cannot help but wonder what
has made me smell like rotten butt.









Hooray for the Stinky thread!







The GLORIOUS STINKY THREAD! Halelujiah!


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

There is just no way to top that!


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

that is downright catchy!


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

: That is so beautiful.


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## bumblebeej (Nov 5, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starry_mama* 







: That is so beautiful.









why didn't i post this??


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bumblebeej* 







why didn't i post this??









:


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

I LOVE it, Serenity!


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## Ms. B. Sprout (Nov 30, 2006)

Serenity, your Ode to Stank RAWKS!


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## VickV (May 4, 2005)

I can't believe I never read all of this ... *love* the posts and *love* the Ode


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

:







:







:







:







:







:


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

bluesymama, you're gifted!!!!


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joannalovesyou* 
i stink much worse pp than i did while pregnant. major culprits are the bleeding, which has increased in stinkiness as its gotten browner, and the fact that my c-section incision developed (drumroll...) a yeast infection! YES because i have to wear underwear so that i can wear a pad for pp bleeding, my incision wasn't getting enough airflow and staying cool, so i developed a damn yeast infection and have to clean it, dry it, and powder it _four times a day._ the only thing i'm capable of doing four times a day at this juncture is nurse. i mean, i'm only _eating_ twice a day.

OK-you beat me-I was getting ready to post about pp bleeding AND a C-section incision stinking-but you got a yeast infection?!!!! That sucks!

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bluesymama* 
Hooray for postpartum stink!







uke

An ode to the Stank:

How foul, how foul my gaseous plumage
that waketh me with noxious fumage
My dripping pits, all stank with sweat
that leave my shirt all gross and wet
And curdled milk- that sour smell-
hath soaked into my shirt as well!
Could someone perhaps tell me please-
why I reek like cottage cheese?
What rotten food- what ghastly scent
could rival my predicament?
As I exude these pungent wafts
and replace the air with nasty drafts
I cannot help but wonder what
has made me smell like rotten butt.









Hooray for the Stinky thread!







The GLORIOUS STINKY THREAD! Halelujiah!

















:







:


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

i used to smell awesome all the time.

am i ever gonna smell at least not-awful again?? i wonder...


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

I am so sick of smelling like sour milk... and it's only been 2 weeks!


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Sour milk+ sleeping in a twin bed with a little girl curled up in either arm (even though it's stinky- how blessed am I?!?







) in a room that starts out so cold we have to have a heater on low, but by morning is so hot you need a fan means I am stinkier than ever! Add to it the start-and-stop bleeding that leads to a new round of stinky discharge each time, and I am one stinky mama! I'm with MmeMuffin- will I ever smell good again??? I don't remember this level of stank with dd1.


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

so no one's been stinky or TMI since new years day.....yeah, right!









dd and i just came home from the dr - i was telling her about how my lady parts and bum are all irritated b/c of using maxi pads. since she's family practice, she sees the whole family, so she takes a look.

and now i know that dd and i BOTH have thrush - but it's just me that has the thrush rash on my bits.









so basically me and my daughter are big yeasty messes. well, at least i am, she seems to be doing just fine!


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## look11 (Mar 21, 2006)

How is the Dr. treating the thrush? I'm still hoping we don't have it, but my bum is sore, too, from the pads. Even cloth pads don't help. I feel like I have a diaper rash and am considering using diaper rash cream!


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## clintonhillmama (Dec 21, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *look11* 
How is the Dr. treating the thrush? I'm still hoping we don't have it, but my bum is sore, too, from the pads. Even cloth pads don't help. I feel like I have a diaper rash and am considering using diaper rash cream!

this was me until about 30 minutes ago. but no matter what i tried, it just got worse and worse. so i got a diflucan & some topical cream for my nips and my bits. i'm so glad i'm on the way to recovery, this has been the worst thing about my pp period!


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

I am sooooo tired of smelling like old milk.








:

Oh...and I haven't showered in two days. Because I have no clean clothes. And really, what's the point in showering and putting on stinky clothes? As soon as the diapers are done with their final rinse I'm putting in a load of clothes and showering.







This lack of being able to sneak in a shower while dealing with both girls is making my ppd worse.


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Oh! My! Goodness! My left armpit! Something died and has been rotting in it--but I bathe everyday! Out of shear despiration, I put diaper rash cream on it and it has helped but still...Oh My Goodness! I thought that my pregnancy stank was bad, but this takes the rotten cheese, cabbage, dead animal cake! uke


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## mama2rey (Jan 31, 2007)

My PP bleeding still stinks!!!! It's brown then once a day it has decided to get really red and just gush out!!!! It's not because of overactivity (I don't think)-it just likes to gush out once a day I guess!

For the last two days it gushes out, I fill up a pad-and before I know it my underwear has overflow blood on it-it takes about 15 minutes-disgusting!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

before i got preg, i smelled GOOD. now i'm wondering if i will ever smell good again...


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I haven't added anything in awhile because.....well, if I still stink, at least no one seems to notice. Maybe they've gotten so used to my stench that they figure it's normal for me now?

Besides, I'm sleeping in the guest room most of the time, so it's not like dh is ever close enough to complain...although he did hint at some action last night. Ha. hahaha....like if I manage to get little miss leech to detach long enough to start anything, I'm gonna use that time for anything other than SLEEP??? puh-lease!









But anyway, I decided to take a bath last night. It was lovely. I ran it as hot as I wanted, added some lovely essential oil, and just relaxed....then when it was cool enough, I had dh bring dd2 to me, and I bathed her.

We were having such a lovely bonding time, she was floating and looking around and responding to my silly songs and baby talk, and I was rubbing oil on her and just having a wonderful little mother-daughter bath.









Apparently, it really relaxed her, because without so much as a hint of warning, she lifted up both legs and TOTALLY released her bowels into our nice bath water!







: And suddenly instead of nice clear water, we were bathing in smelly pea...err, make that _poop_ soup!









Gah! I hollered for dh to come get her, then I quickly dipped her in the other side of the tub (before the sludge spread!) to clean her off, but it was totally coating the whole right half of my body! Dh could NOT stop laughing at me, until I threatened to aim her business end at his face!









I finally got the tub cleaned out and hopped in the shower to scrub myself down, but the funniest thing was, in all our scurrying and screeching, dd never got upset. She was so calm about the whole thing, just sorta looked at us as if to say, "Man, y'all are SO uptight! You need to chill! Look at me, do you see me freaking out over a little poo? Nope, I'm feelin' gooooood....."










Little stinker. See if I ever let her take a bath with me again!


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## ryansma (Sep 6, 2006)

I just read this entire thread! You all are awesome







I have an affinity for discussing all things nasty and I was laughing out loud more times than I can count - trying to be quiet b/c ds is napping thus snorting uncontrollably. Very attractive.
It was like watching stand up comedy when you are laughing because you know EXACTLY what that person is talking about. The stink is right around the corner for me - good times.


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

(regarding the poo-soup bath)

laughuplaughuplaughup


























:


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## NikkiTwist (Apr 18, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 

I finally got the tub cleaned out and hopped in the shower to scrub myself down, but the funniest thing was, in all our scurrying and screeching, dd never got upset. She was so calm about the whole thing, just sorta looked at us as if to say, "Man, y'all are SO uptight! You need to chill! Look at me, do you see me freaking out over a little poo? Nope, I'm feelin' gooooood....."










Little stinker. See if I ever let her take a bath with me again!

DS likes to poop in the tub with me. He thinks it's hilll-larious. We now take showers together. It's less icky if I can wash the poo away really quickly but I wonder if I'm slightly warped because of how little it really bothers me. I'm really unfased by bodily emissions from my little one. Except for the one time he peed in my ear. That was a bit wierd.
BTW ... I totally woke up last night because I smelled nasty. Random gross yoni smells. You know it's bad if it wakes you up! Oh and I'm totally blaming it on the fact that I'm in the middle of my first AF. Logical or not, it's the road I'm taking

OHMIGOD... and the stinkiest diaper ever resulted from a wonderful dinner of shrimp curry. Just as a warning.


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## eilonwy (Apr 3, 2003)

I like pea soup... especially considering it was poop soup.







BeanBean did that the first time I took him in the bathtub with me. The really gross part? I was too relaxed and busy being in love with my baby boy to bother getting up before the water started to chill.


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## kittywitty (Jul 5, 2005)

That is great, SheBear! Reason 274 I only shower with babies.


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

LMAO @ poop soup bath! That is why DH is bath guy. I only do baths in the sink or once they're old enough to hop into the shower with me. DD1 hates it when I bathe with her. I'm an in-and-out girl and DH is happy to sit there and let her play with all of her toys and such


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Crickey! What am I feeding this child?!? Breastfed baby poop is supposed to be less stinky than other kinds of poop--riight?! Alex forgot to read the book on that, because his farts are so raunchy it brings tears to both Daddy's and Mommy's eyes!

laughing my hiney off at the poop soup bath!


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## minsca (Jun 25, 2007)

I was lol at the poop soup bath, and feeling smug in the fact that Avye has always seemed to contain herself in the bathtub. Well that smugness ended last night. I experienced poop soup for the first time. I noticed this morning that the tub is now yellow with poop stain.


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *minsca* 
I noticed this morning that the tub is now yellow with poop stain.









:







:

Quote:

his farts are so raunchy it brings tears to both Daddy's and Mommy's eyes!
Duuuude! Toren, too! His Dad doesn't have ones that stinky! WTF?







: And it always happens _right_ when I'm snuggling him up to my *face!*







What the heck am I _*eating!!!???*_


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Now that AF is back it seems to have brought with it my normal pre-pregnancy smells. So I guess that is one (the only?) good thing about it being back.

And...speaking of stinky farts- my two year old has the nastiest ones! Her farts have never smelled and now they clear the room. Her poops too. I was told that it's common once the toddlers get newborn milk. Anybody else experience this?


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

So- someone mentioned that our ddc will be closing soon- and it occurred to me that we have only a limited time to contribute to the stinky thread while our ddc is still active...
So, before december closes, let's update our Stench, ladies! We are the originators of the stench! The _*proud parents*_ of the stench! And though the stank may live on after we are gone- and perhaps even have new posts and such- it will never be the same as when the *DECEMBER DUE DATE CLUB* reigned stinky supreme.

And so- in humble gratitude i kneel before thee- oh stench so fine-

'thou hast brought the toughest Mamas to their knees in laughter-
We shall glory in thy nastiness for ever after.'

I had a 5 ALARM diaper last night- pulled off a poopy pre-fold, and while getting the other under him- Mr. 'play-doh factory' himself starts pootin again! Par usual...so I use the new pre-fold to catch his current donation- when he seems done, I wipe up, and slip the third prefold under him- just in time to entirely miss the projectile expulsion of mustardy goodness onto my wrist- awesome! Use third diaper to clean that up- hold it over his bum for a moment to ensure he is finished- then grab #4 and start sliding under him- nope- not done! He let's go a few blat-blat-blats- leaving golden spots on his clean diaper- so I wait a few minutes- trying not to cry at this point-








I look him in the eye- say- "are you done?" and he gives me the most heart melting, gorgeous grin ever- and right as I say, "Awwwww....." his little jet stream goes off- and he waters my arm, my shirt, the changing table _and_ his own head. It was absolutely spectacular. He dirtied a days worth of diapers in a few seconds. It was rad!


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

: go baby go!

i don't have any interesting stink stories. well, my pee still smells awful, and my pits smell horrendous, but that isn't very interesting.

m's farts and poop have smelled like rotten eggs lately. my farts have been rank too. what am i eating??

i realized that i have to get rid of my deodorant, because now i associate the smell with pregnancy and PP stink. so even though it still smells "fine," i just remember the way i smelled... that horrible mix of deodorant + stench. blegh.


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## matey (Sep 15, 2006)

Well, I am still waiting for my vag to get back to normal. A day sitting around nursing in sweat pants makes me feel llike people may smell my crotch from across the room. i have had a dream where dh asks what that smell is and i act like i dont know, but really it is my crotch. But I am checked, nd clean, so to speak, so I dont know why I cant balance out.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Moved to "I'm Pregnant" at request of OP.


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Whoa...we've been moved!







The stink shall live on!


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## Changed (Mar 14, 2004)

This one will go down in the books as the best pregnancy thread ever. Seriously. Oh my god.









When I was pregnant with DS, ONE, yes just ONE of my underarms stank. It stank while I was bathing, after and all between. There was no amount of scrubbing... Hormones I guess. Just one. How weird is that?


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## YummyYumYumMama (May 19, 2007)

i was so naive posting on here at first, thinking only my DDC girls would be privy to this information. the world shall know of my stench. i guess neither DH or i should run for office or anything; this would get into a smear campaign within a second.


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## slnkl (Dec 15, 2007)

does anyone know the real cause of the smell? or is it just hormones?


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## Lizzardbits (Jan 21, 2006)

Wow the December stink lives on! I am...ummm...proud to have been a part of it all!!

Pee-You to all of you!


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## Jeanne D'Arc (Apr 7, 2007)

I smell sometimes, I get intermittent Vaginosis from the lyme.
Major suckness.









This is coming from someone who never smelled during pregnancy
or before then.

Yes, I am hating it.


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## mamade2 (May 8, 2005)

Is it too late to join in on this one? I can't complain, because I do have a bidet (perks of living in Europe!). Though I have noticed, with this pg and previous ones, that the day after I eat fish, I get a strong fish smell with the discharge. I am so hoping that I don't need to get checked for whatever reason on a fish day, because it's pretty strong. Plus, isn't that usually an indicator of BV or other infections? It would be embarassing to have to explain that, no, really, I'm fine, I'm just stinky! Plus, now that MIL is here for the last few weeks of pg, we're eating tons of fish...


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Man, I haven't posted in this thread the entire time.

But I guess my time has finally come. my pits are SOooo Stinky now and nothing seems to help.

I guess that it is hormones...poor Silas is downwind from them (my pits) when we nurse in bed...

I have been wondering if it (the pit stink) is supposed to help him find the breast or something?

I have never stunk like this...and it is always worse on the left side. WTF??!!


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## New_Natural_Mom (Dec 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
I mean, I'm about to have an unmedicated, natural childbirth in which a watermelon sized fetus is about to come hurtling through my slowly expanding cervix, and seriously, another person seeing me poo is my only big fear.
Anyway, I confess this. My boyfriend gets this big evil grin on his face and he says, "Well, I know how we can level the playing field and make you feel comfortable about it. I'll give you a hot carl."
(If you don't know what that is, don't google it. Seriously, I don't want to be responsible for you having that knowledge.)
Anyway, I spent the next ten minutes giggling hysterically and for some strange reason feeling so much better.


That is my fear also. I am petrified of it. And I did google hot carl. OMG. I have no words.


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## N8'sMom (Jun 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
On the skanky topic, I'll have you know I'm the local unwed mother in these here parts...the movie "Knocked Up" is basically the story of my life now. Anyway, all of page five is cracking me up. This whole thread cracked me up, but the recent stuff is too priceless.
Here's my contribution. We just started our childbirth classes last night. On the drive back, I finally confess to my boyfriend my big nagging fear of the last six months. Namely, that during childbirth another human being will see me poop.
I'm a sexually liberated third wave feminist punk girl, but I have serious hangups about admitting that the food I digest comes out the other end. I won't even use the bathroom when someone else is in the house. It's so ridiculous. I mean, I'm about to have an unmedicated, natural childbirth in which a watermelon sized fetus is about to come hurtling through my slowly expanding cervix, and seriously, another person seeing me poo is my only big fear.
Anyway, I confess this. My boyfriend gets this big evil grin on his face and he says, "Well, I know how we can level the playing field and make you feel comfortable about it. I'll give you a hot carl."
(If you don't know what that is, don't google it. Seriously, I don't want to be responsible for you having that knowledge.)
Anyway, I spent the next ten minutes giggling hysterically and for some strange reason feeling so much better.

Well at least he didn't want to give you a dirty sanchez.


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## cj'smommy (Aug 14, 2003)

I've always had one stinky pit, it just gets worse during pregnancy but the other one is fine.


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## TrippyLongstocking (Feb 27, 2007)

ok ok so after 3 pregs with the same stink I have decided to use probiotic capsules right up my VAGINA(







)
they work like a freakin miracle I tell ya!
I dont know if it was even a yeast infection or pregnancy induced bacterial vaginosis but I tell ya they work dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!







:







:


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

This thread is too entertaining!


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## bluesymama (Jul 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *N8'sMom* 
Well at least he didn't want to give you a dirty sanchez.











oh....darn you, google!









ewwww!


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## SheBear (Aug 19, 2003)

I don't even wanna know....I'm proud of myself for having resisted google on the Hot Carl thing thus far!


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## Leisha (Jan 16, 2008)

Omg... I just read through this entire thread. I was laughing so hard I cried multiple times, my boyfriend was laughing too. But only because he thought it was funny I was laughing/crying so hard. No way will I let him read this LOL!

(Or hang on, maybe he should read some of it so he is prepared...







)

Anyway, I'm about 12 weeks pregnant and I am not TOO stinky YET. I'm sure it will happen though. Especially since I will be 7-9 months pg in the height of summer









I have however noticed I am farting a lot more.







Also, louder. They make a different sound. And I read someone posted this before: everytime I pee, I now HAVE to fart, I cannot help it. And fart loudly. I'm sure the whole building can hear me.









Oh my... well I will know what to expect, stink-wise, the next couple of months (or more).







so to everyone who contributed to this thread: thanks!


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## AGlimmeringHope (Apr 11, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SheBear* 
I don't even wanna know....I'm proud of myself for having resisted google on the Hot Carl thing thus far!









Same here. I'm too scared to.







: (I'm shaking from fear AND cold, hahaha!)

So, I thought I was done with the stink. I was soooo smug. I'd had some nasty farts, some pp stank with the rotted milk smell, but I'd escaped relatively unscathed compared to some of you stinkers!







:









Then I woke up. And my pits smell awful! It's not hot in our room; on the contrary, I froze most the night even with two LOs surrounding me. I'm sitting on the couch with my rat terrier curled up next to me. I stretch my arms over my head. The dog sticks his nose right into my pit, sniffs, gives me this "OMG HOW COULD YOU!?!?!?" look and jumps off the couch. I've offended a dog who eats poo with my stench. I do believe this is the lowest of lows!


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## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

hot carl.....learn something new everyday.


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

Where are my stinky mamas!>! I smell like old pee.







:


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## gabysmom617 (Nov 26, 2005)

I'll join up! (My own odors have actually sent me puking in the recent past....I have a HIIIIGH sense of smell now, and everything makes me vomit.)


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Hey - isnt this archived? LOL. OMG I didnt expect to see this again!


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## LoobyLoo (Dec 27, 2007)

Thanks to starry-mama for bumping this thread, I'd missed it the first time and am happy to hear I'm not the only one with over-fragrant lady parts! Generally I'm fairly non-stinky and can get away with wearing the same pyjamas for at least a week - these days I'm lucky to be able to go more than a couple of days before they have to go back in the laundry.

Is here where I admit I already knew what both a Hot Carl and a Dirty Sanchez is? I spend waaaaay too much time on the internet...


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## jencat (Nov 20, 2006)

Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs ladies! I'm right there with ya!


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I now just smell like baby vomit and my clothes are always soaked.









But its breastmilk so its not that bad.

Just wet.


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## N8'sMom (Jun 25, 2007)

Yeah, I'm smelling really wonderful lately. UGH!








I'm glad I'm not the only one smelling like a stinky old rotten woman.


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## *MamaJen* (Apr 24, 2007)

It makes me so happy that, though our Dec. 07 DDC is closed forever, this thread lives on. We bequeath it to you, smelly mamas of the future.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
It makes me so happy that, though our Dec. 07 DDC is closed forever, this thread lives on. We bequeath it to you, smelly mamas of the future.


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## jennifer_lc1 (Sep 8, 2007)

i am only on page 4.. but oh.my.god.

best thread ever.

totally can relate to everyone.

well almost everyone. no *pootie zits* for me *dies* the transverse poop is possibly the funniest thing i have heard in a long time.


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## jennifer_lc1 (Sep 8, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by **MamaJen** 
It makes me so happy that, though our Dec. 07 DDC is closed forever, this thread lives on. We bequeath it to you, smelly mamas of the future.


*dies*


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## tex.mom (Jun 30, 2006)

I didn't read all the posts but it could be BV. I get it the second I'm pregnant and find it impossible to get rid of the whole time.


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## UnassistedMomma (Jan 24, 2006)

This has got to be hands-down one of the best threads on the entire intarwebz. Thank you, members of the 2007 DDDC. You totally made my day!!


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## potatocraft (Apr 4, 2008)

Yeah so i was showering the other day, as I do every day, and I noticed as I was washing down there that I smelled something weird to I rinsed the soap bar off and sniffed it....Yes, my pooter is getting so bad it leaves a stink on the soap bar now....
I made my husband come into the bathroom and throw out the bar of soap because it stunk.....
And that is my tmi gross story of the day....
Shawna


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## cricketschirpin (May 29, 2013)

This thread albeit old is HILARIOUS. I am all these things at 21 weeks pregnant so I was searching for similar stories. If any of you are on here I'll add that at night when I lift the sheets to turn a huge waft of musky pee smell that has been trapped in there for hours hits my nose and in mega horror I quickly stuff sheets back down and hop my husband hasn't caught a whiff!


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