# Nipple tweaking? Nursing ettiquette? Help!



## aguacates (Sep 17, 2003)

Lately 14 mo old dd is obsessed with tweaking the other nipple while nursing. It kind of came out of nowhere. I've always been really firm about nursing ettiquette in general, thinking that if I was consistent from a young age, that it wouldn't be an issue.







: I now know how wrong I was. It is mostly an issue at naptimes and during the night. If I wear a bra to limit access, Zoe feverishly paws at the fabric and the hidden breast, like she is digging in the dirt, until she manages to reach in to the nipple. If I clamp my hand over the breast, she unpels each finger one at a time. Not really getting anywhere, but she can keep it up for an hour plus. I always tell her, not for touching, just for nursing, and move her hand, and say gentle with mama. But, I feel like a touched-out broken record, and she seems to be getting more and more obsessed with her goal-THE OTHER NIPPLE.

So, how did you help your dc not drive you crazy? Did anything specifically make a difference, or was it just a matter of being a broken record for a while? Share your stories about the nursing ettiquette learning curve.


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## Lula's Mom (Oct 29, 2003)

My daughter is exactly the way you describe yours: _she must have the other nipple!_ I think there's a biological basis for it; stimulating both at once probably makes for increased output. At least that's what I theorize. When dd was a newborn, a lactation consultant told me that pumping both breasts simultaneously results in 3x as much milk, not just twice as much! So when Lula started tweaking, I figured it was kind of the same thing.

I'll be of no help to you in stopping it, though: I just let her do it. The only limit I have placed on it is if we're out in public, or if there is a strange man (ie, the plumber) in our house while she's nursing. Then I tell her "Hide your Milks (her name for the right one) so he doesn't see it!!!" It's a little game and she likes it, so we keep it covered during those times.


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## Butter (Oct 6, 2004)

My son is a bit older than your child, but for well over a year now when his hand wanders over to my free breast, I remind he only gets one nipple at a time. He always pulls his hand back when I tell him that. The twiddling was driving me crazy before someone told me to try saying that.


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## newmainer (Dec 30, 2003)

Hi Abby- we're dealing with the same thing over here. Dd will actually cry if she is fussy and can't have the other nipple. If i am in an agreeable mood, I don't mind. But sometimes I can't deal. I clamp my whole forearm over the other breast and offer her my hand to do high5s or something. i might sing to her and use her hand to do the motions to the song- anything to distract her. Some attempts are more successful than others. its kind of exasperating- especially if i haven't trimmed her nails recently. *that* is key. when we are out and about, i do the arm over the breast or hold her other hand. I have tried to be consistent but i get tired of holding guard, so to speak. probably not good, but it works alright.


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## aguacates (Sep 17, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *newmainer*
its kind of exasperating- especially if i haven't trimmed her nails recently. *that* is key.

Kelly, I totally agree with this. If I haven't trimmed her nails lately things move quickly from uncomfortable to intolerable.

Zoe didn't sleep well last night, and was in a nursing, nipple tweaking frenzy. I OTOH was completely exhausted, and kept dozing off, and waking to the feeling of the nipple being tweaked and grabbed and pulled and prodded.....when I even think about it I get that nails on chalkboard feeling. Thanks for the stories, I tend to fit that saying; Misery loves company.


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## plein_soleil (Mar 25, 2003)

I would try to work on it more during a daytime feeding when you're not trying to do something else, like get them to sleep! At night, I try to cover as much as possible, but sometimes there is a trade off between letting them have their way, and how long it is going to take. I think when they are tired, they are less likely to follow the 'rules'. I also filed his nails. Otherwise, I would never been able to take it.


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## honey (Nov 28, 2003)

I always discouraged it because it hurt!

With my last child, I made a long necklace with lots of interesting feeling beads. He played with that for a few weeks, then lost interest with pinching and tweaking while nursing.

Like Lula's mom, I also think that there is a biological basis to it, but from there, if not discouraged, it quickly develops into a strong habit. Just my 2 cents.


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## ishkabibble (Jul 25, 2003)

I have only had mixed success nipping this habit in the bud, haha.

DS is good about it during the day, but at night, it's like some bizzare quest he's been charged with.

Best thing is to pull the covers over the other boob but even then sometimes he sneaks his hand under, etc. It depends on his mood, sometimes he's agreeable but other times he does the pull mommy's fingers off one by one thing.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm crying with you!


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## Jaz_Trio (Oct 16, 2004)

Idea;

I know Zachary is a bit young and this issue might still come around, but no matter the time of day I am always wearing a nursing bra. My son cant 'get' to the other nipple so he does not play with it....also someone in LLLeague suggested that you could put a bandade over it telling your child that it is 'hurt' and cant be 'played' with at that time. Older children seem to understand this, somewhat at least.

Good luck!
Jenn


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

We went through a long phase of this intense obsession too. Ds would get frantic in his attempts to reach ANY bare skin. I still to this day have a habit of covering the other nipple up by pressing my wrist to it and holding his hand in mine if he'll let me. By covering it with my forearm and wrist, he cannot peel it away like he can my hand. As long as I kept his nails short I could tolerate him kneading and pinching in any other area, so it was a kind of compromise. But boy, there were moments I thought I would hyperventilate or scream or run out of the house...lol... Now that he is almost 2 he understands "Gentle hands" and will hold the nipple lightly between his fingers. I can only let him do that a few seconds and have to remove his hand, but now he does not protest. He just tries again, sneakily!









So hopefully it will be a phase that you two can work through as well, it's hard at moments but hang in there!


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## ishkabibble (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jaz_Trio*
Idea;

I know Zachary is a bit young and this issue might still come around, but no matter the time of day I am always wearing a nursing bra. My son cant 'get' to the other nipple so he does not play with it....also someone in LLLeague suggested that you could put a bandade over it telling your child that it is 'hurt' and cant be 'played' with at that time. Older children seem to understand this, somewhat at least.

Good luck!
Jenn

Yeah, I tried this. My son locates the nipple under the fabric and tweaks it through the fabric!

I guess it depends on how deep the obsession goes


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## aguacates (Sep 17, 2003)

Yeah, I pretty much keep chanting in my head, this too shall pass, this too shall pass.....

About wearing a bra at night, dd just reaches inside it, and it become leverage for more groping.

I've considered a nursing necklace type thing, but I don't really want to wear a necklace to bed, and I get kind of phobic about things around my neck. I can't stand turtlenecks and I never wear necklaces, but I've been weighing the torture factor of a necklace vs nipple tweaking and I'm almost tempted to try it.


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## Icequeen_in_ak (Mar 6, 2004)

My dd started this at about 10 months and it drove me insane!!!

I got her a nursing necklace and it cured it. She now twiddles the necklace completely content.

Here is the place that I got my necklace from. She's super to work with and has great prices and a top notch quality item.


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## Liliana (Jan 13, 2004)

I have my daughter hold a toy while nursing. It keeps the hands busy. I restrict the types of toys cause I get hit with them sometimes.


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## Beanjeepin (Mar 9, 2004)

My son just started twiddling within the last two weeks. ARGH. I HATE my nipples touched at all - I was even afraid I wouldn't be able to stand nursing. I can, barely, but the touching has GOT to go. I'll admit to plopping him on the floor and walking off for 30 seconds (at home, in a safe place) when I can't get him to stop. It just gets to me THAT badly. :-( I try to hold his hand, wear a nursing necklace or give him a toy generally.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

Have totally zero tolerance for this. DS#1 worked really hard at it, too. Got very quickly to the point where if he even tried, I'd just put him down. After that if the hand strayed I would just gently hold his hands while he nursed.

Have done the same with the others, and usually it works okay.

Tried nursing necklaces, they're only a short-term distraction.

Am uncomfortable with it to the point that if we're tandem nursing and one's hand strays to the other one's breast (and obviously at that point the other nipple is 'unavailable') I'll put a stop to it. And make it clear that if you're nursing from one breast, then it's your turn with that breast and only that one.

Am not a crazy person, am just uncomfortable with being overly 'handled.'

Have found, though, that holding their hands is more effective in discouraging/stopping it than holding my own breast is.


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## [email protected] (May 31, 2004)

I think nipple tweaking / twiddling is a near universal experience of mothers who have breastfed their babies beyond 10 months or so. Babies tend to do it as soon as they feel to have become "champions" in bf or are otherwise in a mood to do it. Some of them do it occasionally , some others intermittantly. Often they give it up after some time. I have reconciled to it and do not discourage it any more, the only precaution I take is to trim their nails after three-four days. They grow them real fast. Those moms who feel too uncomfortable with twiddling might try wearing necklaces as babies are attracted by shining objects, including specs.

As I am tandem nursing, quite often the other breast is easily accessible to the baby, the other one having suckled the other baby freshly and not covered. But as many moms have informed even covering often does not stop a baby from accessing the other nipple. While I am able to put on with twiddling at the time of nursing sometimes I feel irritated when the toddler wants to go to sleep with one of his palms covering a nipple inside the bra or shirt. He sometimes does it while I am asleep and he is not nursing. Has anyone passed through similar experience?
Uzra

As I am tandem


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## Melda (Mar 27, 2003)

my DD just turned a year yesterday and does this exact thing and has for awhile now. It drives me BATTY .... i try to cover it up or i just keep removing her fingers ... So far i have had littel sucess with this ... aughhhhhhhhhh


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## mamangazelle (Apr 25, 2003)

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with an obsessed nurser!
Dd only does it at night, but then, if I try to cover the other breast with my arm, hand or bra, she starts to SCREAM... It's driving me nuts! Now, I don't let her do it at all, even gently at night, because she is only half awake, and gently soon becomes a nipple removal process







:
When she does it, I remove her hand, if she tries it again, I unlatch her for a few seconds.

Another trick is to nurse from the top breast and hide the other between the mattress and you (laying half on your stomach, half on your side). It works with my small not so firm boobs, but now she is beginning to sneak between the mattress and the boob


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## dreamlette (Mar 20, 2004)

My son is about 11 months old now and has twiddled on and off for at least a couple of months. It only bothers me sometimes, but it can be so annoying!!

I found a couple resources online that were helpful: see

http://www.kellymom.com/handouts/nursing-manners.pdf

and

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMayJun96p78.html


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## JohnnysGirl (Dec 22, 2003)

OMG my son does this too ! Obsessively. It hurts so much, my nipples are sensitive and his fingernails are never as trimmed as they should be.








I try laying on my right breast, so I'm nearly on my stomach, while he feeds on the left breast to my left, so he can't get to it, or just have a bra and shirt there, and deal with the nails digging in through the fabric.


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## *solsticemama* (Feb 8, 2003)

The twiddling really became an issue around 15 mos I think. Ds would get very upset if I refused to let him twiddle. Somehow I came up with the suggestion that the breast he is nursing on was his and the other one is mama's. He accepted this quite easily and has not really twiddled since. Occasionally his hand will find its way to the other breast and we make a big joke out of it, "what's that hand doing on mama's breast?" He thinks this is so funny and laughs and laughs and removes it without a fuss. HTH


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