# Just found out yesterday-no hb. Need advice



## caj'smommy (Sep 28, 2003)

Hi everyone I hope you don't mind me posting here, I'm new to posting, but have been reading the boards for several months now and you women offer such great advice and are so caring to everyone. Now I need some advice.

Here's my situation. I felt uneasy yesterday about my baby being alright and didn't want to worry all weekend so I phoned my Dr. and got in for an ultrasound. It showed a perfect looking little fetus, arms, legs, a cute tiny nose, sooo perfect. Just one big problem, it had no heartbeat. The baby measured 10 weeks, which is exactly how far along I am, so they said it must of died recently.

This is the second time in a row that this is happening to me. I m/c'ed in June at 12 weeks. I'm totally devastated! Why is nature being so mean to me? It has been our dream to have this last baby for so long. Now I'm not so sure it'll ever happen.

Here's what I need help deciding on. I m/c naturally last time. Between the diagnosis being made and me having the m/c was only 36 hours. Then it was over and I began healing, no complications.

This time I'm not even spotting yet. My blood serum HCG levels were at 74, 000 yesterday, does anybody know if my levels need to be at a certain number or not before I start to m/c?(last time they had already dropped to 3300). I don't think I can wait weeks for this nightmare to end. My other option is a D&C next week. I'm also terrified of this. Has anybody here ever had one? If so, what was your experience like?

When I m/c naturally the first time, it was identical to actually being in labor, only difference was it was shorter (only really painful for 4 hours) and obviously, I didn't have to dialate to 10cm. I'd prefer to m/c naturally, but only if my body would do it soon.(like within a week). I'm not sure that's going to happen. Is there anything I can do/take to help get this going?

Thank-you so much for listening if you've actually read this far,

Rachelle
AP, extended breastfeeding mommy to 3 on earth and 2 in heaven.


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## Mom2baldie (Oct 29, 2002)

Rachelle,

Im sorry you are having to go through this.

I was 11 weeks pregnant when I found out my baby had died around 9 weeks gestation. My body took 3.5 weeks to miscarry. While I was waiting my midwife encouraged me to try black and blue cohosh. Her instructions were to take a dropperful of one every other hour and rotate. Like at 10:00 dropperful of black, at 11 dropperful of blue, 12 dropperful of black....

I never tried it though so I dont know how well it works. Hope that helps some.


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## caj'smommy (Sep 28, 2003)

Lynsey, thanks for your reply, I just might try that. I just wanted to add that I read your m/c story. It made me cry. I think you've helped/will help many other women get through there own m/c by sharing your beautiful story and all the courage you had. Wishing you all the best in the future.
Thanks again.


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## queencarr (Nov 19, 2001)

I don't have an suggestions, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you.

Quote:

I'm totally devastated! Why is nature being so mean to me? It has been our dream to have this last baby for so long. Now I'm not so sure it'll ever happen.
I think most, if not all, of us who have experienced a loss have felt this way. Take care of yourself, and allow yourself to grieve however you need to. Again, I am so sorry.


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## burritomama (Aug 26, 2002)

Rachelle,

I, too, am sorry that you have to go through this and I wanted to write you a few words of support. I also wanted to let you know that I miscarried twice (no hb) at about the same time as you - yes, devastating. Like you, I felt something was wrong.

I ended up opting for a D & C in both cases - that's a longer story -

I wish you strength as you go forward.

I also wanted to say that, some months after the 2nd miscarriage, just as I was, at 41, beginning to give up, we conceived again and the pregnancy stuck (it occurred during the period we were getting "tested" for possible causes of the m/c's - tho none ever showed up)...don't give up. Go forward with all the facts and all your love and as little fear as possible (I never got rid of the fear entirely)...see what happens.

Our little boy - our only one - is now 17 months old and somehow, because of those earlier painful losses, seems even more precious to us.

Take care -


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## bonbon mama (May 16, 2003)

I opted for a D&C when I lost my twins at 10.5 weeks. It was scheduled around 12 weeks and I was only just beginning to spot. I know that it can take 2-3 weeks for your body to effectively begin to labor through the miscarriage. I just wanted to get on with healing and stop the anxiety of waiting for the whole process.

Going through it naturally was more peaceful and private, I did it this way with my first miscarriage.

I scheduled the procedure after 3 ultrasounds to convince myself that it really was over and that I wasn't deliberately aborting them--I had nightmares about that. It was outpatient surgery and the whole day was an emotional disaster. I cried all morning, all during the surgery prep, and most of the afternoon. I remember eating only croissants and coffee for weeks. I felt it was helpful to say goodbye to the physical presence of my babies the night before the surgery. I invited their spirits to return for love at any time. I realized that I had given them the best possible, most loved life I could and then I said goodbye.

The benefit of the D&C was that the physical pain was abrubtly over the next day. The major negative was retreiving their remains so that I could respectfully take care of them. It was a hassle and we weren't treated respectfully.

Take care of yourself, I hope that I wasn't too blunt to be of any help. I need to be matter of fact when I talk about it or I get too overwhelmed. Feel free to private messenger me if you would like.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

I would really recommend you not take herbs without being under the care of someone. Cohashes are known to cause hemorrage. Without someone monitoring you under them I wouldn't try it.

I am so sorry about your loss. I know how painful this is for you. Be extra gentle on yourself. Sometimes it can take more than a week for m/c but no one will judge you if you opt for a D&C you have enough on your plate at the moment.








I am so sorry.


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## caj'smommy (Sep 28, 2003)

Thank-you everyone for your support. I saw my Dr. this morning. I have no signs of m/c'ing yet so I'm going for a D&C later today. I'm terrified! My HCG levels are still high so my body has not recognized the baby is dead yet. I can't bear to wait any more days or weeks. I chose to m/c naturally last time and it was very physically and emotionally painful. If I was having any signs, I think I would wait a few days, but I'm not. The best thing to do, is to get this over with so I can begin healing. Please say a pray for me.


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## burritomama (Aug 26, 2002)




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## burritomama (Aug 26, 2002)

Rachelle,

Sending you







today.

Stay strong.


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