# Do you sleep with your DP every night?



## CawMama (Nov 4, 2005)

Just wondering if I am in the minority here? I recently moved out of our bed, into ds's room, where we co-sleep. Dh is in the habit of hitting snooze for an hour every morning, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I am already getting up like 4 times a night to nurse, and just need as much undisturbed sleep as I can get!


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## yogachick79 (Apr 4, 2006)

I'd say it's 1/2 and 1/2 for us right now. But the majority of the time that we do spend in the same bed is when DS WANTS to sleep in his own bed (which we've had for a few months)... It doesn't help that we downsized beds so there isn't room for the three of us on a full anymore...


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## JenLiz (Sep 17, 2006)

i hit the wrong button! Actually, i misread the question thinking it was asking if I slept with my dc everynight...the answer to that is Yes, everynight.

And, NO, I don't sleep with DP at all, right now. Haven't actually since I was 12 weeks pregnant - dd is 6 months old now. I miss him terribly, but this is best for our family right now. He also has to wake very early and he goes to be late, so that doesn't work for dd and I. He also snores and keeps me awake. I need all the sleep I can get.


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## Herausgeber (Apr 29, 2006)

Part-time. Usually we all start the night in bed together, then DH often goes to the extra bed to read, stretch out, etc. We did this even before DD was born. We just have slightly different sleep times, heating/cooling preferences.


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## MommaGreenBean (May 8, 2007)

Sure do. I, uh, slept with the light on so I could see to nurse when I was just learning. But once she was about a week old I didn't need the light and he moved back into our room and we're just one happy family


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

I voted never but it has nothing to do with our daughter.We didn't sleep in the same bed before she was born.It really cracks me up how many people seem to have a problem with it.And I always crack up when I hear someone talking about how not sharing a bed is a bad sign in a relationship.We're in our 30's and have been together since we were in highschool.I think we're ok.









However I am trying to save up for a king size futon right now so he can jump in with us if he wants to.That's about my husband and my girl being able to snuggle up more often though.


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## ndakkitten (Jul 1, 2006)

Not exactly sure if I should put "Yes, always" or "most of the time." Reason is, when DH is home, we always sleep in the same bed. But he works 24 hour shifts, so obviously I don't sleep with him when he's at work!









We've never really had a problem with co-sleeping. We've always had our crib sidecarred on my side and have a king sized bed. DH has a CPAP, which also is more of a comfort than a bother (nice background noise...I have to have some form of "white" noise in order to sleep). The kids have never messed with his mask or tubing when he's wearing it. When our 2 yo DS crawls into bed with us some nights, DH usually takes him on his side of the bed because he doesn't mind all his touchy feelys, which drive me nuts at night. Then after a while, he just tucks him back into his own bed.

So after reading some of the replies, I feel like I am in the minority for sleeping with my DH every single night.


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## sunshine's mama (Mar 3, 2007)

He goes to bed hours before I am ready to so....

I usually fall asleep on the sofa (it's the most comfortable place for me right now) and go up to bed when I wake up (usually around 3ish)...

So we sleep in the same bed a few hours every night.....

Dd's matresses are pushed up against our bed on my side and she's there most of the night....

We are on a full size futon now but are upgrading super soon.......it's just not comfy anymore......preggo or not preggo


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## smallmama (Dec 6, 2006)

DH spent the last 2-3 months of my pregnancy on the couch, since me and all my pillows took up 90% of the bed! He came back briefly when DS was born, but left again for the guest bed when we really started co-sleeping. He's a super deep, and restless, sleeper and I worried having him near the baby. And now DS and I are used to having the bed to ourselves.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

When my dh works days we sleep together every night.

We couldnt hack sleeping apart from each other


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## gargirl (Dec 30, 2006)

Always.

Our five year old just recently started sleeping with his big brothers the 3 nights a week that they are here but until 3 weeks ago it was Us and Him every night.

I don't think I could sleep without my Sweetheart beside me. We have spent I think one night apart in over 10 years now.







He's all toasty and smells good and stuff. Plus, if I have a nightmare he is right there.


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## torio (Jun 14, 2006)

We co-sleep w/ twins (11 wks now) in a queen-sized bed. It took some convincing to get DH to agree to this, but babysnuggles convinced him (plus the ease of night nursing). However, he just doesn't sleep soundly with us and needs to get up for work, so he only sleeps with us on the weekends.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

We're all together...honestly I don't know how well I'd sleep if it was just the new brn and the two year od with me. It's wonderful having dh there to keep our toddler off our teeny tiny! And it's some of our only "together without kiddo" talking time snuggled there in the bed with the sleeping littles.


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## DucetteMama21842 (May 11, 2006)

We do every nite. I can't sleep without him in the bed... I just toss and turn. We just got a california king so everyone could fit...


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## MyBoysBlue (Apr 27, 2007)

We have a king size and DH has always slept in the same bed as DS and I. But for the past little while DS part time sleeps in his crib until his first feeding of the night.


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## 4Marmalade (May 4, 2004)

I voted for sometimes because that's how it is right now. We used to all sleep in the same bed (when the dc's joined us in the night) but for the past few nights I've been gently nightweaning dd and we're doing that in her room so she doesn't wake anyone else up. I start teh night off with dh but go to dd's room when she wakes around midnight. Hopefully, things continue to go well and we'll all be back in bed together soon.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

I haven't shared a bed with dp at night since I was about 4 mnths pg - dd is 4.5 years old now.









He has severe sleep apnea, and can't get the hang of wearing his CPAP machine.

I co-sleep with dd, and neither of us can deal with the snoring.

At this point, kids or no kids, I honestly can't see us ever sleeping together again unless he gets the apnea under control.


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## sugarlumpkin (Dec 20, 2006)

My ds is only 7 months old, so maybe changing sleep patterns will change our co-sleeping experience, but so far we are all happy in one bed. We do have a king-sized bed.

My DH does sleep in the guest room occasionally, but far less than once a week--maybe once a month or less, and only when he is sleep deprived (from working very late).


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## 3kidsclmr (Apr 7, 2007)

With DS#1 my DH couldn't stand the baby noises all night long. He moved to the guest room. He LOVED it in there- got a new bed, set himself up with a laptop, tv, cable, the whole nine yards. Now that we've got three kids, he's stuck sleeping with DS#1 so that I can sleep in the next room in between the baby and my 2 year old. It sounds so crazy writing this down... my friends think I'm nuts.


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## luvmy2girlz29 (Feb 25, 2004)

I voted never. Dh snores, goes to bed early, gets up early, and didn't want to co-sleep anymore so dd and I sleep in her room.


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## kalisis (Jan 10, 2005)

I sleep in a separate room from DH with DD now. When it was just DS, we all coslept, but that arrangement isn't working for us right now. I need all the sleep I can get and DH doesn't go to bed till late, sometimes he has to turn the light on to get at files in that room and sometimes he uses that bed to sort paperwork out so I couldn't go to bed even if I wanted to. That was actually the straw that broke the camels back -after one too many nights of having to wait to go to bed, even though I get up with the kids every morning no matter what time they wake up, I said no more and slept somewhere else. It works out a lot better now; no more resentment and I forgot how nice it was to sleep in a nice bed every night. DH makes a huge mess out of the blankets and sheets.

Some day I guess we'll get back to sleeping in the same bed. Or maybe not, who knows.


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

DP, DS and I sleep together every night at home. Always.

However, when we go to my parents' place and there is only a double bed, one of us often winds up on the couch in the spare room!


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I don't currently have a partner, but when I did we didn't always share the same bed. With DH#1, we had 2 beds in the bedroom for religious reasons, and we never got into the habit of sleeping in the same bed all night. After DD2 was born, DD1 often started the nigth snuggling with Daddy while I slept with DD2. When we wanted to be intimate, there was always the guest room or I'd put both girls to sleep in my bed and then use his.

When I was with DS's bio dad, we only sometimes slept together. At first, he refused to sleep in my bed if DS was there, but he'd stay if I brought DS to bed after he was already asleep. Otherwise he'd sleep on the couch or the girls' room. When we wanted to be intimate...well, let's just say we didn't limit ourselves to a bedroom.


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## mommycakes (Sep 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rere* 
I voted never but it has nothing to do with our daughter.We didn't sleep in the same bed before she was born.It really cracks me up how many people seem to have a problem with it.And I always crack up when I hear someone talking about how not sharing a bed is a bad sign in a relationship.We're in our 30's and have been together since we were in highschool.I think we're ok.









However I am trying to save up for a king size futon right now so he can jump in with us if he wants to.That's about my husband and my girl being able to snuggle up more often though.

Hee hee, sounds like we're in the same boat. Dh and I are also in our 30's and have been together since hs. Our 3yo dd still needs a lot of cuddling so dh is in with her. I miss them sometimes. Often on the weekends, we'll all jump into the king-sized bed for old times sake. I'm pregnant again and know that I'll want dh in with me when the baby arrives (he wakes for night-time diapers, I wake to nurse) so I'm feeling like I'm ready for him to move back in with me. Otherwise, I don't think it's a problem. You should sleep where you sleep best, if you ask me. I'm not much of a night-time cuddler (too hot) and my dh snores. I just don't get a lot of sleep when we're in the same room. Never have.


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## UnskulinMama (Nov 1, 2005)

We're another vote for "never" here... but only for now! DH and I recently nightweaned our co-sleeping DS (12 months - and it was so much easier than I thought it'd be!)... Unfortunately the last time I tried sleeping in the bed, he found me and wanted to nurse again all night, so I'm back in the guest room!







He still wakes once or twice a night, but accepts a pacifier from DH and flops right back over to sleep, as long as I'm not there.

I do miss DH, but I do NOT miss the hours of screaming and nursing and restless baby that we had to deal with before. None of us were happy and now things are much much better. I think it's really good for DH too, who often has to work long hours... he gets his baby bonding time


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## clavicula (Apr 10, 2005)

Yes, every night. We sleep on 2 huge mattresses, all the 4 of us. It is fun!


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## rzberrymom (Feb 10, 2005)

I answered 'always,' but that's only for the last year. Up until DD was 18 months, she woke so much that DH usually slept in the other room. But, that passed and now we're all back together.


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## haitimom (Nov 10, 2005)

Anoter vote here for always. There was only a short time a few months ago when we weren't actually in the same bed. We moved and didn't have the funds for a big bed. We had a double and it was way small. First we put our mattress on the floor and put the bassinett on the floor for the new baby until we got the king bed. Now the three us sleep together every night. DS can come in when he feels the need.


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## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

I can't sleep if DP's not there. Plus, he loves to cuddle up with DS#2 when he climbs in our bed in the middle of the night so DD and I usually have plenty of room.

So yes, always.


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## RileysmamaNM (May 10, 2007)

Before the lil one me and his daddy slept together every night we still try to but even though hes only 6months old its like sleeping with a great dane in the bed lol he some how always goes to sleep in a place where its hard for all 3 of us to fall asleep together. We start out together but DP ends up against the wall and is more comfortable on the couch hopefully be able to get a bigger bed soon (we are sleeping on a queen) so we can all happily sleep together more often.


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## kylewilliamsmom (Feb 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *torio* 
We co-sleep w/ twins (11 wks now) in a queen-sized bed. It took some convincing to get DH to agree to this, but babysnuggles convinced him (plus the ease of night nursing). However, he just doesn't sleep soundly with us and needs to get up for work, so he only sleeps with us on the weekends.

Hey, that's us! I only have one ten month old in bed with me though! Dh needs his sleep when he is working! I am so glad I found this thread, I was worried I was the only one with a hubby who sleeps elsewhere!


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## bep (Mar 18, 2007)

As much as I hate to admit it, it has been ssome time since dh and I slept together. We have 18 month old twins and spent the first year or so trying to stay in the same bed but were up all night with one or the other. The only way we have found for all of us to get some solid sleep is if he sleeps with our son and i sleep with our daughter. We switch it up sometimes to make sure i get to snuggle with DS and he gets to snugle with DD but all together it just didn't work









I'm still hoping though!!


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## tsume (Jun 4, 2005)

I voted never but that's not entirely true. Our main bed is a King tempurpedic (had for almost 5 years) and it gives me major back aches. I sleep in the kids' bed (a queen) with the youngest. The two older ones sleep with dh and then move into the bed with me during the night.

I will occasionally try the big bed again but I wake up with some horrid back pain.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Carrin* 
I recently moved out of our bed, into ds's room, where we co-sleep.
Dh is in the habit of hitting snooze for an hour every morning, and I just couldn't take it anymore.
I am already getting up like 4 times a night to nurse, and just need as much undisturbed sleep as I can get!


My husband has two alarms on his clock, he sets them to go off ony 5 minutes apart.
He gets up just 10 minutes before he leaves.
Many times I sleep right through it as do both girls, even thought it's loud and obnoxious.
I used to be a light sleeper.
I guess these past two years as a SAHM, my body has learned to ignore the alarm.
I guess if I ever go back to work, I'll be in trouble.









That is so annoying for you to have to listen to that snooze alarm going off for an hour!
I don't blame you one bit for wanting as much unditurbed sleep as possible.


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

We have always slept together, even with our kids, but we were never in your situation. Dh wakes up easily w/o an alarm every day, so even when the kids were little, we never had to worry about being woken by him. If we did, I probably would have slept elsewhere, too.
Do what works for you. You only have a few years, with your babes, but a long time with your dp.


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

We always do - well like 98% of the time. The only times when we make an exception is when he's been out drinking or having a bout with insomnia. Otherwise, all the time.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

Usually I put ds to sleep in my bed and then I get up and go hang out with Dp in the other bedroom for a while. I eventually join ds in bed and dp falls asleep in the other room, so no we don't ever sleep together in the same bed unless ds spends the night at my mom's which is very rare.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I put yes always, but if one of the kids is sick or having a rough night I'll move with dc to their room so that dh can sleep undisturbed.


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

I sleep with DP every night unless I have heartburn and end up on the couch for awhile. Although... we have children in between us and don't actually ever come into contact. I can smile at him over the tops of their heads.









Depending on the situation I'd be willing to try something different. I mean you have to sleep...and if you don't everyone is grouchy. Luckily we've been able to manage a good amount of sleep together so far. We'll see when baby #3 joins us in a couple of weeks.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

I wanted to add:

This is a very important thing do both of us. We love eachother and don't want to sleep apart. I used to snore loudly, then I got a cpap machine, now dh snores, but is getting lapband surgery so hopefully as the weight comes off the snoring will get better. At first the snoring really bothered me, but I was able to get used to it. If I can fall asleep first I never even hear him snore now. If the kids are sick all bets are off ofcourse.

I guess my rambling is all about this, snoring is NOT normal and can be fixed. If that's the only reason you are sleeping apart and you miss sleeping with your partner maybe you should look into fixing the snoring problem.

-Heather


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## turnipmama (Oct 29, 2006)

Almost every night we are all together. Sometimes, (since DD and I put out many BTUs of heat







) he ends up on the couch because he gets too hot, especially when our two cats decide to co-sleep too


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## Jenlaana (Oct 28, 2005)

I said all the time, although there have been a few nights that I have slept on the couch, or DH has. Not because of our DD (almost 2 yrs old) but because I'm pregnant and if I'm in a wierd position on our bed and he doesnt fit, its better to just let me sleep.







Or I move onto the couch because I cant sleep at 2am and end up staying there for the rest of the night.


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

Yup, but I have occassionally taken DD to the other room so we wouldn't bug the breadwinner, or so when we finally got back down he wouldn';t wake us when he got up... but that's been rare. But DD's pretty good about only rustling about to nurse and then sleeping on, knock on wood....


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## ohiomommy1122 (Jul 7, 2006)

I thought for sure I was going to be the only one that choose never on the poll. DH snores and sleeps w/ the tv on I cannot sleep w/ the tv on so he falls asleep everynight on the couch watching tv, plus he has a horrible time getting up in the AM if he is in bed, but if he is on the couch he usually wakes up when we do cuz we are noisy and bug him! He doesnt mind though he uses us as hisalarm clock!


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## CawMama (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ohiomommy1122* 
He doesnt mind though he uses us as hisalarm clock!

That's not a bad idea. Ds wakes up every morning at 6:30 to nurse (like clockwork). Maybe I could suggest this to dh.....But, how would he then hit the snooze button? LOL Maybe if I remove his alarm clock and just used the old fashioned type that we use in ds's bedroom, he'd have no choice but to wake up.

Hmmmm....I'll have to suggest this. He really misses having us in bed w/him.


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## Layna (Sep 22, 2006)

Always. I can't sleep well without him. If he's up later than I am I just toss and turn untill he comes to bed.


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Carrin* 
That's not a bad idea. Ds wakes up every morning at 6:30 to nurse (like clockwork). Maybe I could suggest this to dh.....But, how would he then hit the snooze button? LOL Maybe if I remove his alarm clock and just used the old fashioned type that we use in ds's bedroom, he'd have no choice but to wake up.

Hmmmm....I'll have to suggest this. He really misses having us in bed w/him.

What if you put the alarm clock across the room so he has to get up to turn it off?

Or you could just push him out of bed when the alarm goes off.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

DH sleeps on a futon in the living room if he has a big day at work the next day and wants uninterrupted sleep. I haven't gone back to work yet-- not sure how we'll work it out when we both have a big day the next day!


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## superstella (Aug 25, 2006)

I voted never as well. Dh sleeps with ds3 sometimes, sometimes ds3 piles in with the rest of us, and I cosleep with ds2, ds4, and dd! Actually ds2 and dd have their own mattress that is kind of beside ours, in the same room, but they're still a little separate if that makes sense. Dh likes things much, much warmer than the rest of us. And my teenager is no longer interested in cosleeping.


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## elyag (Mar 2, 2006)

Unfortunately, I have to choose never. My DH snores horribly loud. And he goes to bed really late and has to wake up really early. Since he hardly gets any sleep, he sleeps pretty hard and it takes a really loud alarm to wake him up. It just wasn't working out with the co-sleeping arrangement so he sleeps in the guest bedroom.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I voted most of the time. We have a tiny full size bed and two who like to sleep with us so some nights DH passes out on the couch or living room floor. Most nights it's the four of us squished together though. I often put the 2 yr old on the floor next to the bed when I need space.

IF we had a king size bed (which we desperately need!) man that would be a ton of room and I'd guess the other two kids would sneek in to join us


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## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

I voted 'always', but that wasn't the case until last month. From the time I was 30 wks pregnant with dd til last month (so, over 2 years!) dh slept in the guest bedroom. First because he worked nightshift and the guest room was darker, then when he moved to day shift the bed was just too small for us all to fit.

We finally got up the courage to move the full-size guest bed next to our queen bed so now we all sleep in the same room.

It really was no big deal at all for us to sleep in separate rooms. We still had plenty of "couple time", and we all slept better.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Yes, but my son is 4.5. When he was younger it was more like 50/50.


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## Kaitnbugsmom (Dec 4, 2003)

there isn't an option for us, because while he 'always' sleeps with us when he's in the same zip code/country, he's not always here. so we share a bed whenever he's here, but not absolutely always, kwim?


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## starry_mama (May 26, 2006)

99% of the time, DH falls asleep on the couch.


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## Hazelnut (Sep 14, 2005)

My dh doesn't sleep well with a bed-hog toddler, and now is sleeping in the toddler's bed while said toddler sleeps with me in the king bed. I practically get mad at him for leaving, but what can you do. He doesn't sleep well there, but doesn't begrudge us co-sleeping at all. He's actually become the roomie of ds1, who cries if daddy isn't in his room now.

I thought there would be more baby/mommy and daddy/older sibling combos here. We're kind of like musical beds, but that is what we often wind up with. I recall reading somewhere that it is actually a common arrangement in other cultures where co-sleeping is common (or I like to think it's normal anyway.







)


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hazelnut* 
(or I like to think it's normal anyway.







)

I think it's totally normal.I've known lots of people who don't have traditional sleeping arrangements.I think people just don't talk about it much because our culture seems to have very specific rules for where people should be sleeping.To me,people should sleep where they are comfortable.


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## AmieV (Mar 31, 2005)

DH hasn't slept with me and baby since she was born, basically. He used to fall asleep on the couch and then come to bed, but since he'd rather not be woken up, now he's taken to just continuing to sleep there. And if my older DD has a nightmare or something he goes and sleeps the rest of the night with her. I'd say in the past year we've slept in the same bed maybe 20 times?

It's not entirely ideal, but neither of us is really bothered by it. The kids are little for a short time, we have the rest of our lives to sleep in the same bed.


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## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

I personally will not co-sleep if that means dh is not there.

Dh and I always sleep together.......with all four children!


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

I voted "some of the time" but this is new turn of events.
DD used to sleep in our room with DH while I slept with Ds in DD's room







:
We only have 2 bedrooms and at the time only 2 beds. Now DD has a Futon so she sleeps in that and I sleep in our room until someone calls out in the night. I almost always wake in the kids' room.
I put DD to sleep in the futon in the room she shares with DS and sometimes I doze off in there for the whole night.
The best is when I hear, "mooooommmy" and it is actually morning and I go in to their room and see that one or other has climbed into the other's bed and are cozying with each other.


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## mommy2two babes (Feb 7, 2007)

The kids and I sleep in a king ( 2 singles pushed together) and Dh has the queen mostly to himself except for booty calls








It works for us and the kids quite well


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## momma earthical (May 21, 2006)

I voted yes, always.......but we cosleep with our two youngest. We have a queen and a full side by side filling our bedroom floor, I sleep on one surrounded by the dc while dh (lucky thing) gets to sleep on the other one all by himself. So I'm not quite sure if it counts. We are in the same room but on different sides of it!!!!


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## stacyann21 (Oct 21, 2006)

DB has been banished to the couch


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## Celticqueen (Feb 17, 2007)

I sleep with my husband and will always sleep with my husband.

-Caitrin


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## artgirl (May 17, 2002)

Quote:

I sleep with my husband and will always sleep with my husband.
if there's one thing I've learned about having children...
never say *always* or *never*









I SWORE we would NEVER buy a minivan...





























after we found out #3 was coming... yeah, guess what I'm driving.


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## rere (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *artgirl* 
if there's one thing I've learned about having children...
never say *always* or *never*










Exactly!


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## zaadad (Feb 29, 2004)

I voted some of the time.

Lately I have been sleeping in other beds around the house. We still have up to three kids in bed with us and even with a King, it gets rather crowded! Some times, I can move the oldest in bed into his older brother's bed and he will stay there, but many times, like a heat seeking missle he finds me out and crawls right back in with me, so we have (in this order) the 3 year old, my wife, the 18 month old (who still nurses) at night, me, and the 5 year old. I'm not little, so that usually leaves me about 3 square inches of sleeping room, so I seek out another bed.

I do miss sleeping with my wife and we have begun to see a little glimmer of light









Curtis


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## Hazelnut (Sep 14, 2005)

I dont think you have to "feel sorry" for any dh. No one forced their dh to leave. Mine decided he was morecomfortable on his own with ds1. Family sleep arrangements come in all forms. Some people aren't comfortable with 3-5 in a bed, yet don't force their partners NOT to co-sleep.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Celticqueen* 
I sleep with my husband and will always sleep with my husband.

-Caitrin


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## CawMama (Nov 4, 2005)

Dh slept with us one night this weekend. The next morning he said "why did Sawyer keep kicking me in the head like that?". LOL....


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## Elastagirl (May 24, 2005)

We got a king-sized bed after dd was born, so we could all pile in together. Then dh had knee surgery and was more comfortable sleeping in the recliner for a month or so. After that, since our going-to-bed times were so different (he is SUCH a night-owl!) he ended up sleeping in the guest room a lot. I voted, "Sometimes, 2 nights a week," because now that I've been talking about moving the kids to their own room, dh has been sleeping with us more and more. I guess he doesn't want to miss out on the last few months (Years?) of the family bed!


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