# severe grief and loss destroying my milk supply, please help me...



## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

My milk is failing. A very close family member has just passed away and I am crushed with grief. I have 5 month old twins that I both pump for and breastfeed, they have always been on 100% breast milk.
i have never really had supply issues, though i have had other breastfeeding chalenges for sure. Though lately they have been getting better
Now I am barely keeping up with them, I am pumping many times a day and nursing round the clock and rather than the amazing abundant supply I have always had, we are barely making it from pumping to pumping! I have in the recent past been able to pump nearly 30 oz in a very late night session, I know an amazing amount, tonight I could barely get 8 oz. Remember I am feeding to 5 month old twins Just on my milk, they have never had anything else. Im soo scared that I'm not going to have enough, I'm sure the stress is doing this.
I am away from my freezer stash, in another state, no way to get it.
I am drinking so much water, I'm nearly making myself sick, taking in lot of electrolytes so I can use all the water, and I just got mothers milk tea. Plenty of cuddles and skin time and super upped my late night/early morning co sleeping quiet nursing time. I'm not in my own home so the bed is very hard to do our usual pattern in, but I have my arms reach co sleeper so they are always witthin inches of me. And at least this is a room with family that I have sleep in for 20+ years so it is a home of sorts.
What else can I do?
I understand it comes down to stress, but what can I do about that, my world is shattered. The babies are the only thing holding me together I think, how to i provide for them?
If I have to supplement for a very short time, how do I figure out what to give them? What will that effect in terms of their bodies to have formula suddenly at this point?

Still holding out hope I'm going to pull thru this smoothly


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss.

If they need formula, it will be fine to give it to them. I'd recommend the liquid ready-to-feed for palatability on getting your babies to drink it, but really, any milk based formula will be fine.

I suspect your milk will start to rebound quickly. Stress reductions don't lead to no-milk when you're pumping and nursing as you are doing.

After my niece died, I was a wreck, nothing but tics and sleeplessness and anxiety symptoms. I saw a naturopath and she got me on a few natural supplements that seemed to really calm my overactive nervous system. I believe it was GABA she gave me, but I wouldn't necessarily suggest that for you unless you are twitching like I was. And a b12 shot, that too. Can you call someone back home for a phone consult?


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

eat lots of oatmeal too.

take nice hot showers, long ones if you can, before nursing. massage the stress out of your shoulders if possible.

get extra sleep if possible.

tell your babies what is going on. maybe the action of telling them will help you let go of some of the stress, and they might even "get it" more than you realize.

so sorry for your loss.

you will get through.


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## Marisa Sanders (May 30, 2011)

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss. Google lactation cookies and if you feel like making some, they really do help, the oatmeal and brewer's yeast is fantastic for milk production.

If you are comfortable with donor milk, maybe try Eats on Feets or Yahoo! Milkshare to get some donor milk in the area you are staying if you are opposed to formula.

Big hugs and prayers to you. Stay strong, Momma, you will be in my prayers tonight


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## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to process grief when also mothering small children.

One piece of advice I have to add to the excellent thoughts already offered is this...it can be really intense being away from home and around family all day even when there hasn't been a major tragedy. Add the loss to that, and it's gotta be really overwhelming for you. Try to take some time, either with your babies or just on your own, to be by yourself every day. Maybe take the babies and go for a walk in the woods. It will give you a chance to think, to clear your head and heart, and to just breathe a bit. Anything that will get you out of that nexus of grief for a little while is helpful...go to Barnes and Noble and have a cup of tea if it's too hot to walk outside. Anything that helps relieve your stress will also help your supply.

best of luck to you mama, and again, I'm so sorry.


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## mamayogibear (May 8, 2011)

Do you have someone back home that could mail you some of your frozen stash? It's expensive but that might be a solution...

If not I second lactation cookies. I eat oatmeal cookies with fenugreek and drink lactation tea when my little ones are new. Also the tea that comes in teabags is really a small 'dose' Like if you want to have a real effect go buy all the herbs in bulk and brew up a big jug to drink. Or use four or five teabags at a time. Good luck to you mama and I'm sorry for your loss.


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## PatioGardener (Aug 11, 2007)

I am so sorry.

Stress causes a delay in letdown, but won't decrease supply in the short term. So hang in there, Mama. Keep nursing and know that your letdown will get back to where it was before and your supply will bounce back. You will get through this.

The ideas above for supply increase are great. Can you snuggle in bed with the twins for a half day or the weekend?


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

wanted to let you ladies know that we did in fact get over the hump and got my milk back up, it was down the last drop there for a day or so then all the aggressive pumping and a lot more holding the babies finally worked and it came flooding back, never been so happy to be engorged in my life!


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## Katielady (Nov 3, 2006)

So glad to hear it, adorkable! Hugs to you for all you've been through.


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## annaconda (Jul 6, 2010)




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