# 3 month old sleep



## rlynn08 (Jun 22, 2008)

hi, i'm new to this forum and to motherhood. i have a beautiful and inquisitive 3 month old who has been a high needs baby since birth. i had very diff ideas about the type of parent i would be...thought i'd have her in the crib from birth falling asleep on her own by this time. but after a traumatic birth experience i found i didn't want to (couldn't) be separated from my baby. for practically 2 1/2 months i swear she was in my arms unless i was changing her diaper.

anyhow, i know she is really tiny still and that i shouldn't expect sleep to be consistent but i feel like i am messing up somehow. up until 6 weeks, she slept during the day practically all day only waking up to eat and stayed awake at night for 5 hour stretches typically non stop crying for at least an hour of that. then for 2 blessed weeks she slept at night, waking up to eat about every 3/4 hours. by 8 weeks she had slowly gotten herself back on the day/night confusion and was again having long bouts of screaming.

in desperation, at 11 weeks despite people telling me to let my baby sleep when she wanted, i started to gently wake her during the day if she slept longer than 3 hours at a time. after a day of this, she started to sleep at night again and oddly enough often sleeping for 6/7 hour stretches.

i've been enjoying this for a week...and now i have no idea what is going on. argh! the last couple of days she has been going to bed at 10/11pm despite me rocking and snuggling her down at 7/8pm. she'll go to sleep but will pop back up at 9pm, cooing and talking. i try to top her off in case its hunger and then i try to snuggle her down again but she usually will fight it, arching her back and crying. eventually she'll fall asleep but the whole experience leaves me feeling like a failure as a momma. i don't know i guess i had all these dreamy ideas that when i rock my baby she'll relax and find solace in my arms. she practically sleeps all morning long these past few days and then its a fight to get her to take an afternoon nap despite being obviously tired. she just seems really fragile all day long now.

right now as i type she is in my arms fast asleep because last night she went to sleep at 8-9, 11-3, 5-7, 9-current...so i guess i want to know if this is normal. like i said before i expect her to wake every 3/4 hours to eat but i wish she'd go back to sleep afterwards.

in case this is needed, she was born 2 weeks past her "due date" and weighed 9 lbs 15 oz at birth. she is 13 weeks today and last time she was weighed was almost 13 lbs (that was at her 8 week check up)... we do not bf, i wanted to but the traumatic birth experience led to low milk, which coupled with nipple confusion and a tongue-tied baby (this went unnoticed until she was almost a month), pretty much undermined our attempts at bf. that said, i have a pump, considering my allergies and respiratory problems, it was extremely important to me that she get breast milk...so i pumped like mad those first few weeks to get my supply up...long story short, we do not bf but she is on breast milk exclusively.

sorry, this is one heck of a post...long...but i never knew i would spend so much of my time worrying about her sleep and wishing i was getting some.


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## Septagram (Feb 8, 2008)

Oh, mama.







First, I want you to know, I understand. My first born had awful nipple confusion and we had 6 weeks of excruciating nursing pain. He also had bouts of colic that lasted for hours. It was a nightmare getting him to sleep some nights.

Have you gone to a lactation consultant? I would also suggest some of the Hyland's homeopathic teething tablets. She may be starting to teethe. It's something to try.. Their colic tablets are awesome for gas, too, if that's what is going on.

Another thing, if the birth was traumatic (as was my first birth) I would suggest just talking to her about it. It might feel silly, but just expressing that you're sorry for what happened and that you didn't want it to be that way does go a long way. I tell my son all the time that I wish his birth had been more gentle. I think he has the thick stubborn streak from him being induced and forced into the world.. Sure, he's two and a half, that's how toddlers are, but he just digs his heels in a way that is simply more complex than that.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It breaks my heart for mothers who go through those experiences. It's hard in unspeakable ways.







Hugs to you and your little angel.


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## rlynn08 (Jun 22, 2008)

thank you...i think its good just to air concerns occasionally. its just nice to know you're not alone.

i did go to LCs for almost a month...it ended with them asking what my ultimate goal was, me saying that i wanted my baby to have breast milk no matter the method, them urging me to get a hospital grade pump, me saying i couldn't afford one and would have to make due with my single electric pump...they wished me luck but lamented that from their experience mommas rarely made it past 3 months.

she is 13 weeks today and i'm still pumping with no intention of stopping anytime soon.

i am wondering if she is teething, she has been gnawing on her and our hands lately, drooling quite a bit, and being really weird about eating...i will look for those tablets.

i could almost swear this baby is a natural night owl if she wasn't so dang cranky when she sleeps all day/stays awake all night...of the 13 weeks i have been blessed with her presence she has only slept at night for 3 weeks of those. and of course, from other forums and a bit in real life, i'm getting advice to put her down awake and let her fall asleep on her own. uhm...okay, i might actually do that if she didn't start screaming. i refuse to let my baby CIO. of course, then i hear how it isn't CIO, she'd just be fussing because she's tired which is different. uhmmm...nope, i'm pretty sure what she does is scream when i leave her alone and i'm not subjecting her nor myself to that.

does anyone else have a baby that seems to veer towards day sleeping?

p.s. its so funny, just when i think i'm "over" the traumatic birth experience, all someone has to do is validate how i feel and tears well up in my eyes. thank you for being so understanding.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

You are doing an awesome job! She's thriving! She's gettingall that awesome BM! CONGRATS!

There's an Exclusive Pumpers tribe if you need support/advice with that.

To get her days and nights back on track, try getting her out and about during the day - be active with her during the day, even if she sleeps through it, and have a very, very quiet house, activity wise, at night. Is it a wet dipe, a poop, hunger waking her at night? Or is she a light night sleeper? She may need white noise to sleep longer, and are you swaddling? Are you cosleeping?


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## jadedone80 (Feb 28, 2008)

Oh sweet mama! You are doing wonderful in spite of difficulties.

Technically your little baby still needs 15-18 hours of sleep per day.
To simplifiy it, that means only 6-9 hours of wakefullness.
Okay, so you got the feeding time, the cooing time, and the pooping time... that only leaves about oh... no time left. She is probably just fussing because she is tired. Take a 24 hour period and count the number of hours she is awake to see if she is getting enough sleep.

During the day, when she sleeps try it somewhere different than at night, making sure that there is activity going on so that her sleep isn't that restful. Restful, quiet sleep should be at night.

If she wakes in the night and wants to coo, I'd just let her and then try getting her to fall back asleep.

Have you read The Happiest Baby On the Block?

Good Luck!
And yippee for you to give her your breastmilk - regardless of how she is getting it... You ARE a breastfeeding mama!


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## Septagram (Feb 8, 2008)

Yes, YOU ARE A BREASTFEEDING MAMA!! I've come to realise that BFing is in the heart. I know one mom who truly has a problem with her milk ducts so she really can't breastfeed. She still got donor milk for her baby and he comfort nurses though there isn't much more than drops coming out. Where there is a will there is a way, you know?

You can find the tablets just about anywhere. The teething necklaces are also a great option. I actually need to get one for my drooly teething 3 1/2 mo.









Just know that you are certainly not alone mama. I had a gentle and peaceful and empowering and wonderful homebirth and I still cry to think about DS1's birth. Just like any wound, it never goes away. It heals with time and eventually you will have a scar left in the place that the deep wound used to be.








This too shall pass. Enjoy this while it lasts. Before you know it she'll be a walking talking regular ol' kid and this all will be behind you.


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## nina08 (Oct 4, 2008)

i read your post and thought to myself, that sounds alot like my daughter, she is 11 weeks old.
she was sleeping from 9pm-2am and waking to feed about every two hours or a little longer after that every night...she stopped that routine about a week ago and decided to wake up every hour and a half or so, she would eat a little or play or whatever and it was frustrating me and I was exhausted too!
My pediatrician said to give her one tsp. rice cereal for every ounce of expressed breastmilk ( I am in the same boat as you with pumping sister), I really don't like the idea of giving rice cereal so soon...so here is what I have been doing, and she is slowly going back to longer sleep:
long walk in stroller about 3 hours before bedtime (ours is 8pm), it does not matter if she sleeps or stays awake the whole time (by long I mean 30-45min) then bring her home to eat, bath time, lotion massage, warm clothes or swaddle or snuggle in a blankie, try feeding again, burp, soothing rocking, slow dance, etc. until she is sound asleep, then put her in the bassinet so I can ear dinner and shower.
my little one wakes up again around 10 pm to feed again and then she sleeps until 2am and feeds again at 4am has a bowel movement and goes to sleep until 7am
I truly feel that if I could get her to eat more at 2 am she would sleep until 4am, I think when she is a little older she will sleep longer also.
oh and try just offering a pacifier first if she wakes in the middle of the night, sometimes just to see if she can soothe herself back to sleep, rather than eat more.
I would not worry about too much sleep, babies need all they can get, they are growing so much!!
good luck and congrats!!


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