# Is it okay to teach DS to pull his foreskin back?



## MeganS (Jul 3, 2008)

DS is 3 yrs old. He is potty trained(except at bedtime). He pees standing up, and seems to like to be hands free(LOL). When he does use his hands, he doesn't actually hold his penis, he puts his hands on his lower abdomen, and pulls up to aim. I don't help him go to the bathroom anymore, except in public restrooms. A couple times I have noticed when he pulls his underwear down, his penis is kind of curled under, and stuck to his scrotum. I'm guessing this happens in his car seat. Well, since he usually is hands free when he goes, he ends up peeing on his underwear. Is it okay to tell him to (slightly) retract, so that he isn't peeing on himself? I know it's probably a stupid question, but I don't want to cause him any problems.

Also, off topic, but does anyone else's DS have to pee in every store/ restaurant, etc. that you go to? It's like he wants to mark his territory EVERYWHERE! LOL


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with coaching a child to keep from peeing on stuff.







I was the one who did the whole potty training thing and even though I had no idea what I was doing, I managed to teach DS a few tricks to keep it all in the potty. I even taught him to shake.









So I think telling him that pulling it back towards his body just a bit before he starts to go will help him get it all in the potty is a good idea. It's not like he's going to hurt himself you know? He'll only pull as far as he feels comfortable.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

My son figured this out on his own.........but I see nothing wrong with stating the obvious...."If you pull you forskin back a little you won't get your undies wet."


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## Claire and Boys (Mar 27, 2007)

I don't think it's really necessary to pull the foreskin * back* for that, just to unstick it, my oldest son does this often and he just kind of unsticks it before he pees... he's not retractable, but he makes less mess than my circumcised husband when peeing


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## Cavy (Aug 21, 2009)

My gut feeling is that I would just change his underwear as needed, I wouldnt' suggest anything about retraction. Too easy for him to overdo it, instead leave him to discover when he's ready. I noticed that DS-5yo pulls it back to wee, but I don't think he's been doing that long.

TBH, I seems like people on this website are a bit obsessed with retracting the foreskin, for cleaning, whatever reasons. I'm don't mean to tell you all off; maybe it's a normal thing to worry about in a society where circumcision is the norm. But it's not something to worry about unless you live in very dirty conditions, maybe, or there's another obvious problem (like recurring infections).

I live in a society where circumcision is quite rare, and nobody talks about routinely teaching little boys to retract it. They figure it out for themselves, when the time is right!!









hth.


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## Cavy (Aug 21, 2009)

Sorry, should have said, I do think it's a good idea to encourage holding the tool when the pee, they are much less likely to turn around mid flow, etc. One child care guru suggests letting them ball up tiny pieces of tissue, throw a few in the toilet and encourage the child to aim.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

he might not actaully be peeing on his underwear. he might be rushing to pull them up before his is done. when my ds does this there is big pee spon on his boxers. he just rushes to get back to whatever and does not wait till he is done dripping and never shook.


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## beru (Nov 19, 2007)

I think its fine. My son does this but I don't call it retraction. He has a long foreskin that gets stuck to his scrotum too. He is unfolding the extra skin backwards but he doesn't have to pull the foreskin back over his glans at all.


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## bandgeek (Sep 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cavy* 
TBH, I seems like people on this website are a bit obsessed with retracting the foreskin, for cleaning, whatever reasons. I'm don't mean to tell you all off; maybe it's a normal thing to worry about in a society where circumcision is the norm. But it's not something to worry about unless you live in very dirty conditions, maybe, or there's another obvious problem (like recurring infections).

I live in a society where circumcision is quite rare, and nobody talks about routinely teaching little boys to retract it. They figure it out for themselves, when the time is right!!









hth.

Actually we are obsessed with NOT retracting the foreskin. We constantly have to fight docs that want to yank our kids' foreskin back, family and friends that are skeeved out by us "not cleaning" them because they mistakenly assume you are supposed to. We have to discuss it with every person we leave our child with to make sure they aren't hurt while we are gone. It's completely ridiculous, but that's how it is in America right now. Until it becomes common practice to leave it alone, we have to fight tooth and nail to keep little boys from being retracted.

I do believe the common reply to retraction here is to let him do it on his own and teach him to swish in the bath. Now if you are concerned with parents teaching little boys to clean it in the tub when they are retractable, well that's just silly. We have to instruct them to clean every part of their body. I'm not going to just ignore that his penis is part of his body, and a stinky one at that. It gets cleaned...end of story. I'm not "obsessed" with it. I'm a parent who wants my kid to grow up with good hygiene. I won't not teach him to wash his hair assuming he'll figure it out on his own later. It's something that needs to be taught.

The OP isn't wanting to teach him to retract it completely. She wants to teach him to pull it back a bit so that the foreskin pulls away from whatever it's stuck to so he doesn't pee in the wrong direction.


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## Contrariety (Jul 16, 2007)

DS's (he's 3) foreskin is pretty loose. I'm almost positive he would be able to retract it all the way if he wanted. He has recently started peeing standing up and I've had to teach him to kind hold it taught or else it's more of a spray than a stream, which is harder to aim. It doesn't make him uncomfortable, and it's no more menacing that when he does when he's playing with himself.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

My ds has learned to reach down and unstick his penis







It is actually kinda funny to see to me anyway







Once it is unstuck there isnt a reason to retract ds actually used to pull his foreskin out farther to pee but has stopped that in the last month or so and just aims with his fingers as a guide.

Retracting to pee is a individual choice some prefer it some do not. If he wants to do then great if not great. But I think reminding him to unstick it







(that sounds odd) wont hurt a thing and I think he will be happy to not pee on his undies any more.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Teach him about *aiming*, not retracting. Retracting is completely optional, some men do and some men don't, but all men (even circ'd ones) need to aim.

Your DS most likely isn't developmentally ready to retract, that comes with age.

A good way to teach aim is to put a small handful of cheerios in the toilet and and have him try to sink them.


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## gillibean (Nov 28, 2006)

I would focus more on the unsticking and aiming as opposed to retracting.


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## Dave2GA (Jul 31, 2005)

For you ladies out there, the fact is that pulling back on the foreskin can actually cause the stream to be diverted in some boys and men. It depends, it seems to me, upon the tightness of the preputial opening. Sometimes you see the advice to fully retract and pee. For many men this would result in a difficult stream. For some it is just fine. Every boy and man is a little different. But there is no requirement for health or anything else that you retract even a little to pee. And ballooning is absolutely normal. [I just saw that our Ped Urol group in town - the largest in the SE - says that ballooning is a sign of phimosis. What a crock! ]


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## ParisApril (Apr 2, 2006)

Teach him to pee sitting down. My DS sits down and we never have pee anywhere but in the toilet.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I taught ds to pee sitting and he still does that about 60% of the time but after seeing daddy and gpa stand up he often wants to do that as well.


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## Seie (Jun 9, 2005)

Why would he want to retract to pee? Shouldnt he just hold and point the thing? Sounds simple to me. Take aim and shoot!


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