# Breastfeeding: To cover or not to cover?



## MamaofLiam (Nov 20, 2010)

I'm just curious what is your preference when it comes to breastfeeding in public: do you cover or do you "whip" it out? We've all been in situations where its not always possible to be discreet, so what do you do?

Personally I don't have a problem freely bf'ing in public without a cover. I honestly hate the covers and so does my little guy. I tried the cover out a little bit in the beginning, but found it to be a nuisance so I don't use it anymore.

Thoughts?


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## NewBeginnings1 (Dec 8, 2010)

Before I became a bf mom, I would have said cover! I'm more open to not covering now and I choose based on where I am and who I'm with. More often than not, I cover because my DS won't eat without popping on and off with all the distractions. That is what works for me, but I support the mothers who choose to bf without covering. Their courage empowers me.


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## goinggreengirl (Nov 7, 2009)

I don't use a blanket or nursing cover. I just wear two shirts, one I can pull up and one I can pull down. I tried to cover a few times when he was littler but it was SO HARD to get the latch right and everything when I couldn't see. So, I gave up on that quick!


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## Ravin (Mar 19, 2002)

I mostly nurse in the sling in public, at least while the babe is little. It helps cover things up, but mainly it provides support and once baby had a bit of head control, it's hands free--until then once he's latched I can usually manage with one free hand.


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## isabchi (Sep 14, 2006)

Whatever you feel confortable and easier for you and your baby. I don't cover, I never did. I use layer of clothing and tank. Some times I cover with my own hand when my little one latch on, that's all


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## ElliesMomma (Sep 21, 2006)

depends on the situation.


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## etsdtm99 (Jun 19, 2009)

I don't cover, i do the 2 shirt thing but thats it.. on baby #3 now so the most i do is look for a place to sit down and/or something to entertain my other kids.. unless baby is in the wrap then i can just nurse her in there and keep on walking 

I do feel that covers attract more attention which in some ways is nice, because i notice more BFing moms when they are using covers, but i don't think that is their point!


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## MamaofLiam (Nov 20, 2010)

thanks for all the responses! it's nice to hear that there are others like myself, because where i live i only see people bf'ing with covers so it makes me feel a little out of place. i live in southern california now which is pretty conservative, but had our son in santa cruz which was more accepting of different parenting styles. and it doesn't help that my own mom tells me to cover up in my own house!


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## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

I've never used a cover. I do refrain from pulling my shirt up to my neck, exposing both breasts, my back and stomach, when we're out though. At home I don't show nearly as much restraint


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## NannyMcPhee (Nov 24, 2010)

I am a huge proponent of normalizing breastfeeding and nursing in public. I nursed for 3 and half year with my son and I think I used a cover less than 6 times. That said, either way, you have to do what makes YOU and your baby comfortable. Public opinion does not factor in for me.


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## arieltron (Jan 27, 2011)

I choose to cover based on my level of perceived breastfeeding support. Cool coffee shop around lots of other young people, no cover. With mother-in-law in her rural town at the local diner, then cover.


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

I don't cover, I'm not coordinated enough to use one!


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## KristyDi (Jun 5, 2007)

Before I was a mom I would have said cover, then I tried latching DD on and covering. What a PITA. I ditched the cover pretty quick. The only place I use cover is when I'm wearing a bathing suit since it exposes my whole huge boob and I'm not comfortable with that. Then I just draped my shoulders and boob with my sarong type coverup. I didn't cover dd unless she was sleepy and trying to nap.

I did the 2 shirt thing and got good enough at it that I felt comfortable doing it pretty much anywhere.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I think however the woman feels comfortable doing it is the right way. So if you want to cover then cover but if not then show as much as you are comfy with


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## goinggreengirl (Nov 7, 2009)

I also wanted to add that it does depend on who I am with as well. If I'm with a group that has a lot of guys I'll try to be a little more discreet but if it's all women then I'm not as careful. And, if I'm with DH in public he is VERY careful to try and block me by standing in front of me. It's annoying but he means well. I'm sure by the second one he won't do it anymore (since he'll be chasing the older one around while I nurse the younger one!)


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## Chloe'sMama (Oct 14, 2008)

Depending on where I am...

Church service- I do nurse right in the row, but I cover.... Just about everywhere else, no cover.

That being said, DD2 is 6 months and not so much into the cover, so it may go out the window even at church...


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## Sweetflyfishfeel (Dec 4, 2008)

I don't use a cover, but I wear nursing camis and a looser shirt over, and just use DD's head to cover if we're in public. Sometimes if I have a lightweight blanket handy, I will pull the corner of it up to and a little past where DD's mouth is, so none of my skin is showing. I don't believe anyone has ever spotted my nipples in public. Some of my shirts work really well, and I have carried DD around Walmart while nursing and no one could tell. It just looked like she was asleep. If I'm with other nursing moms, I don't work as hard covering, but I still don't let it all hang out, though several of them do. I think some of the people at my church think I'm a little odd for BF in public when other moms bring bottles, but I really don't care. My DD is so healthy, almost never gets sick, and is extremely happy and relaxed all the time. I have had friends comment on how they like that DD is always in my arms instead of in a carseat on the floor, and on how she never fusses in public.


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## cheerios (Sep 21, 2009)

It seems to me that the specific bfing "covers" do two things - 1: call everyone's attn to the fact that you're bfing and 2: de-normalize bfing, as if things are only "proper" if you wear a tent over your child and breast! A nursing cami and whatever else I chose to wear over it worked fine for me.


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## SubliminalDarkness (Sep 9, 2009)

I absolutely did not ever cover, ever. I don't care the setting, the people around me, whatever. I refuse to use a cover. I am personally modest about showing my actual breast, so I had ways to layer shirts so that no skin was exposed when I was nursing, but I never slung a blanket or nursing cover over us.

Personally, I think nursing covers are like a big sign that says 'something inappropriate is happening under here.' I don't want to contribute to the idea that breastfeeding is inappropriate or needs to be kept hidden. I refuse to use nursing rooms for the same reason.


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## MamaofLiam (Nov 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *SubliminalDarkness*
> 
> I absolutely did not ever cover, ever. I don't care the setting, the people around me, whatever. I refuse to use a cover. I am personally modest about showing my actual breast, so I had ways to layer shirts so that no skin was exposed when I was nursing, but I never slung a blanket or nursing cover over us.
> 
> Personally, I think nursing covers are like a big sign that says 'something inappropriate is happening under here.' *I don't want to contribute to the idea that breastfeeding is inappropriate or needs to be kept hidden.* I refuse to use nursing rooms for the same reason.


I totally agree. It makes me angry when I hear of other mothers being told to cover up when bfing - as if there were something wrong with feeding your baby the way all other mammalians do. I think it comes down 1) breasts have been overly sexualized in this culture (nipple phobia!), and 2) formula companies in the past (and present) have put a lot of money into their marketing machine to normalize bottle feeding and therefore de-normalized bfing.


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## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

until DD was about 6 months i usually covered with a recieving blanket when in public or if we had people over. but it was always for my comfort, not for theirs. at about 6 months I started to get a lot better at using my shirt to cover, and haven't used anything to cover since except a towel when we were at the pool once. my second should be arriving any time now, and I'm not sure how much/if I'll cover with him.


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## PatioGardener (Aug 11, 2007)

I never cover. I have some awesome nursing shirts and will nurse my wriggly 11 month old where ever and whenever.

I do cover my nipple with my hand when he pops off (which is often) but to be honest, I do that primarily so he can't grab my breast and squirt the milk (a little trick he learned last month). My modesty is a secondary thought! (Except when it comes to covering my abdomen, which is why I wear nursing shirts. I'm still learning to love my postpartum tummy.)


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## ar2974 (Nov 19, 2006)

I just nurse wherever and have never covered. The only time I ever wished for a cover was yesterday in the park when I almost froze.


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## jksmith (Nov 17, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MamaofLiam*
> my own mom tells me to cover up in my own house!


That's just ridiculous! I actually met a women recently who wears a swimsuit to bathe with her baby and toddler, a little excessive!


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

I never covered I did do the tank thing or nursing shirt at tue start but not ds is on and off every few hours I've started to feel like my breast are phlox property vie had people ask me to cover up because they where uncomftble and it's like why don't you just look away it's not like I'm following you ! Or a few people worry about what " men " will think and I just don't care . Ds will not nurse with a cover he just won't asking me to cover is asking me to isolated myself or let my baby go hungery well I wait for a private place .ok rant over can you tell tis has come up once or twice ?? Or and I live in a state where the laws are clear anywhere I'm allowed to be I can nurse and bussnes can not ask me to cover or leave


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## sophie.nyc (Mar 28, 2009)

Hi love this blog regarding this issue of covering ourselves when we are breastfeeding :

http://mamamilkandme.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/ban-the-breast-burka/

I personnally never used a cover, I'm layering a tank top and a t-shirt.

Sophie, mom of Marie and Pierre


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## cyclamen (Jul 10, 2005)

The poster who mentioned perceived level of support pretty much nailed it for me. Now my DD is 21mo, and still nursing with limits, so I do a "plausible deniability cover" in places like the library, etc. Which is, I throw the corner of my shawl or wrap over my shoulder. Usually nothing gets covered, but it sure LOOKS like I'm trying, lol. I began doing this after having several ridiculous encounters with people all before DD was 3 months old.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

I use a tank top under a button up shirt. I don't remember ever using a blanket to cover up, how uncomfortable and awkward! Not to mention calling attention to yourself! At this point I don't even have to stop walking or sit down or anything(I'm growing #4 now). I know my MIL thinks it's weird, I remember shopping with her when #3 was a newborn and got hungry. It's not you EITHER cover up OR whip it out, there's a great choice in-between and that's what most moms do. I have never even seen a mom whip it out unless it's a close friend/relative in their own homes.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *jksmith*
> 
> That's just ridiculous! I actually met a women recently who wears a swimsuit to bathe with her baby and toddler, a little excessive!


I've never gotten people like that, I even took baths with my dad til I was 5 or so and my brother was born, and I informed the whole snooty side of the family at Thanksgiving that Dad's penis is bigger than my baby brother's. Boy was dad embarassed!! I think it's wonderful and healthy for kids to grow up knowing what's normal. I can't imagine having grown up never seeing those hidden body parts and knowing how different people can look from each other.


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## MamaofLiam (Nov 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sophie.nyc*
> 
> Hi love this blog regarding this issue of covering ourselves when we are breastfeeding :
> 
> ...


This was a great link. I actually cried. It makes me very sad that there isn't more support for breast feeding moms. That often what is considered "acceptable" makes bfing far more difficult and lonely. I'm really thankful for a forum like this to discuss and share, as well as LLL.


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## ScreenTime (Mar 23, 2011)

Wow, I might be the only male contributing to this thread, so go easy on me.

I was brought up in Brazil (until 15yo) where sexual taboos almost don't exist, so yeah, I saw a lot of b'fing moms not covering up.

My wife now covers up when she's in public amongst strangers, but not around friends, male or females. It's what's comfortable for her.

Because of that, I'm personally very comfortable having a conversation with a woman while she's feeding her baby, but I know a lot of my male friends wouldn't be (in the US, to clarify). I hate to say it, but if you're willing to breastfeed without covering, it's fair to say you should expect odd looks sometimes, until things change.

Having said that (and hopefully I still have some reading this still), things won't change if women are made to feel ashamed or like they're doing something wrong, like some already mentioned. Only by pushing the envelope, others will see it as the beautiful thing that it truly is.


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## MamaofLiam (Nov 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> I use a tank top under a button up shirt. I don't remember ever using a blanket to cover up, how uncomfortable and awkward! Not to mention calling attention to yourself! At this point I don't even have to stop walking or sit down or anything(I'm growing #4 now). I know my MIL thinks it's weird, I remember shopping with her when #3 was a newborn and got hungry. *It's not you EITHER cover up OR whip it out, there's a great choice in-between and that's what most moms do. I have never even seen a mom whip it out unless it's a close friend/relative in their own homes.*


That's a good point - there is an in between, but I guess I just don't see it very much. I'm a new mom and personally haven't had the benefit of being around a lot of those in-betweener breast feeders. All I see are the "hooter hiders", and unfortunately most mom's I see, even moms in my local mothering group, cover up completely with a blanket/cover.

I personally don't think there is anything wrong though with having some breast exposure while feeding my child. I really would like to see more moms whip it out, if only to help counter balance not seeing anything at all.


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## beautifulboy (Apr 5, 2009)

Hi

I really hate seeing women using nursing covers! They look so cumbersome. I completely understand that they put some moms at ease, but I hate to think that some people in our society require them. Covers just get in the way and it seems to me that the poor baby is suffocating down there. My son pops on and off a lot now so I do try not to flash the world too much. I have also worn two shirts (in the beginning) because I really didn't want my tummy showing, but now that the boy is older I don't worry that much about it.

I am currently bfing my ds who is 2.5 and we have never used a cover. Sometimes I've felt shy and sometimes exposed, and so I usually just look for a quiet place to nurse. Most of the time though, I've noticed that most people don't really notice that you're nursing. We nurse in restaurants, public places etc... One time at a fancy restaurant halfway through the dinner my son said "I want mom milk". My uncle, who was sitting next to me - who is pro-nursing but still a conservative man - turned to me and said ""Mom-milk that would be pretty funny", meaning that that maybe it would be strange to nurse in a fancy restaurant in front of everyone. I looked at him puzzled because I had already nursed my boy twice that evening and he hadn't even noticed.

I have to comment on your language, I know maybe it was used jokingly, but I do not like at all the term "whip it out', I think it's pretty gross to use that language.


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## kamikazismom (Feb 22, 2011)

I used a cover in the beginning, but it ended up being too much of a hassle, and I eventually stopped caring what other people thought. Also, I think people need to see moms nursing their babies/toddlers/children. Only by seeing it will people become comfortable with it. If we're always hiding, we're sending the message that we're doing something that needs to be hidden, something wrong. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and I will feed my baby whenever and wherever!


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## member234098 (Aug 3, 2002)




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## Nicole730 (Feb 27, 2009)

I used to use a cover or blanket. By the time I had my second, I don't even attempt it. I wear a tank to cover my stomach for my own comfort and then pull up my shirt and keep as much of the top of my breast covered as I can. There have been a few times where I thought I might be more comfortable with a cover, but then remembered there is no way my 1 year old would stand for it!

Re: nursing rooms. I have used them because the one at our state fair is super comfy and air conditioned, it's a nice way to relax for a bit. I did a double take at the moms covering up in the nursing room though!


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## sarahamber (Mar 24, 2011)

I would only cover if baby was getting very distracted after attempting to feed uncovered. Check out this great doll http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fthebreastmilkbaby.com%2Fcontest%2Fambersmumma&h=6eb6d


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## Graceie (Nov 7, 2010)

thats a cool doll we always nursed our dolls growing up I never really thought about giveing them a bottle


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## bird_verde (May 31, 2005)

i don't cover because it is too bothersome - for me and the babe. I wear layers (either two shirts or a shirt with vest or cardigan) that help make it discrete in public (in my own home, there is no discretion for anyone it seems). I have large breasts which makes it a bit harder to be discrete but it is defintiely possible. Most of my daughters school friends just think I am holding the baby until they ask to hold her and I tell them that she is eating.


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## MnMtm (Jan 15, 2008)

With my DS, I didn't cover up to begin with. I used the tank with a shirt over it technique that a lot of others have described. I did I did start using a cover when he was about 6-8 months old because otherwise he would get too distracted, and constantly be pulling off. Milk would go squirting and get my shirt wet, and it would take forever for him to get a full feeding. There is nothing wrong with not covering up, but there is also nothing wrong with using a cover. It doesn't mean that you are ashamed or trying to hide what you are doing. I would hope that women don't start feeling like they can't or shouldn't use one because of judgment, because afterall, isn't that what we're trying to avoid? If a woman is more comfortable using a cover, or it just works better for her, shouldn't we still encourage her breastfeeding efforts? We should all show positive support for the others we see breastfeeding, cover or no cover. I found my cover very convenient for public nursing as my child got older. With this baby, it will simply depend on his or her personality, and what works best for us. I imagine we will start out not using a cover, as it is generally less cumbersome to just pull the shirt up, the tank down, and nurse. However, if I run into the same issues I did with my son, I won;t hesitate to pull out my "udder cover" and use it.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Well I don't cover and I seem to think it is my personal duty to try and normalize NIP lol I nurse DD everywhere and without all the special tops and things. My breasts are large and I get bra thong with those tanks and what not. I just completely pop out one boob at a time. My entire breast is exposed but I don't care. I have gotten ridiculous comments before about how "disgusting" this is ect ect especially now that DD is 17 m/o...

I always just nurse her with my head held high and now I have a look down pat that if I notice someone staring at me I will shoot them and it's like a "I dare you to say something to me right now" look.

I am so sick of and disgusted by how BFing is treated in the states. I nursed DD in a church while at a christening and everyone was horrified...CAN YOU DO THAT IN CHURCH?! Ummm....wasn't Jesus BF? I don't think he will mind.


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## jesshrehor (Nov 22, 2010)

Quote:


> CAN YOU DO THAT IN CHURCH?! Ummm....wasn't Jesus BF? I don't think he will mind.


That's awesome.

I dislike the names of some of the covers..."hooter hider" and "udder cover." "Hooter" seems like a mildly vulgar reference to breasts, which seems inappropriate to something non-sexual like feeding a baby. I don't refer to my breasts as hooters and don't want anyone else to either. "Udder" is the one that really gets me though. Um...I'm not a cow, thanks. I don't have an udder. I've seen cows, and I've seen their udders, and my boobs don't look like that.


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## Marissamom (Dec 17, 2009)

jesshrehor: I completely agree. I would never consider using either of those covers because the names are so horrid.


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## myk (Nov 24, 2006)

i tried covering once with DD1 when we were in a church. it was such a pain in the neck, never again! she never latched properly. i stopped nursing in public when she was 2 i think, and i always just whipped it out. now with DD2 i'm not covering. it's impossible to latch her without seeing what i'm doing, and even if it wasn't, i'd be baring the boob on principle. if everyone covered up, it would give other moms the idea that it's what needs to be done. if only half of moms covered up, both options would be "normal", as they should be.


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## myk (Nov 24, 2006)

i should add, i've never been asked to cover up or leave. i always have my answer at the ready. if YOU want to cover your head or leave so you don't see it, be my guest, but as for me, i'm just going to feed my baby


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## Ecochique (Mar 24, 2011)

No cover here. I hate nursing covers! I find them to make it so much more awkward and I feel like I'm about to get my hair cut when wearing one. I usually just wear a tank top under my shirt so it's a bit more discrete.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Here is a list of the people whose opinions i care about WRT feeding my baby:

1. My baby

2. Me

Consequently i never cover. I wear nursing tops (i got a bunch from H&M, they're very samey and a bit boring but they wash well and do the job). They are like a crossover v-neck with a round-neck panel underneath, so you pull the v down and the bottom of the panel up to expose the breast. I tend to get out the nipple and a good 2 inches all around it (well, more side to side due to the shape of the opening, but above and below, 2 inches) then lach her on and pull the top down so only about 1/2 an inch is showing between her mouth and the fabric. This is mainly because i'm in Scotland and it's cold, and i have huge breasts (HH cup) so getting a whole one out is totally unnecessary and would be more annoying for me as it'd be hanging unsupported while i fed her.

People see my nipple sometimes. I don't sit with it out for hours at a time but if she unlatches and wriggles for 30seconds when i'm feeding her i don't make a huge effort to hide it. Quite a lot of people on the bus saw my right nipple today. Oh well. It will have given them something to gasp about after i got off.


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## Naturallove (Oct 9, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> Well I don't cover and I seem to think it is my personal duty to try and normalize NIP lol I nurse DD everywhere and without all the special tops and things. My breasts are large and I get bra thong with those tanks and what not. I just completely pop out one boob at a time. My entire breast is exposed but I don't care. I have gotten ridiculous comments before about how "disgusting" this is ect ect especially now that DD is 17 m/o...
> 
> ...


This is awesome! We need more women like you out on there! With my sons I used a blanket to cover initially, while we were still figuring it out then as they got bigger I didn't bother with the blanket anymore. Whatever shirt I was wearing sufficed. With this next one I do not plan to cover up unless it is for my own comfort. I agree that the names for the covers are gross and offensive and would not buy one for that reason.

Our culture is so backwards about breastfeeding it's ridiculous! I have a friend whose husband wont allow her to breastfeed in public! AHHHH! What is wrong with people!?!?!?


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## CheriK (Mar 18, 2003)

Don't cover. Covers drive me nuts, honestly, I think they're horrible and it makes me so sad that they have become so common. When my oldest were babies, I'd never seen such a thing. 9 years later, you can buy them at Target.

I'm not doing anything that I need to hide. The ready availability of the covers tells new moms that they DO need to hide. Breastfeeding in public normalizes breastfeeding - I want people to see me nursing, especially my older baby and my toddlers. Most newborns need a lot of help to latch on; a cover is something else to get in the way and make nursing more difficult. Most older babies want to SEE and be part of the action, not be hidden away. I don't want to eat under a blanket, why would my child? I can only imagine that it would be stuffy and hot.

I can think of two good uses for a cover. 1. I'd rather a mom use a cover than not nurse (and bottlefeeding in public quickly leads to bottlefeeding all the time for many moms). If a cover makes a mom feel more secure, then she'll continue nursing for longer, and hopefully will learn to feel comfortable without the cover. 2. If your child is going through a majorly distractable phase, a cover might make life easier for a short time (if the nursling will tolerate it).


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## skyewriter (Aug 11, 2010)

Never covered... nope... not at all!! If TV went from separate beds for married couples to sex on almost every show..... well I figure people just accept what they see a lot of! I nurse pulling down sweaters or tanks to get out enough to nurse... personally I think its really pretty that way, and I get lots of compliments. Hey, the more people who see nursing moms the more 'normal' it is!! -My theory anyway.


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## branbran54 (Jun 16, 2010)

I cover for myself. I really couldn't care less what anyone thinks. As shown from this thread, nothing will ever make anyone happy. If you don't cover, you offend some people and if you don't, you offend some people. Oh well.


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## Wachee (Mar 25, 2011)

I never cover, I am most comfortable with nursing shirts or V neck shirts that I can just pull down but I am not very modest - when it comes to feeding, I just do what feel comfortable and convenient. I will walk around the store my little one in a craddle hold looking at cloths while he eats (He is a little big to eat in the sling now). My mother almost passed out the first time I was shopping with her and did this but she's used to it now.

ETA - should also mention that my little guy eats in 5 minutes and it is much faster to just feed him then to take 3 times the amount of time - 5 minutes to find a comfortable place, feed him and 5 minutes to get back to where I was!


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *myk*
> 
> i should add, i've never been asked to cover up or leave. i always have my answer at the ready. if YOU want to cover your head or leave so you don't see it, be my guest, but as for me, i'm just going to feed my baby


This is a great line, my babies are still young and I have been just starting to go out in public, been collecting short lines that I can use if ever hassled, I like ones that help folks see the silliness of what they are fussing about
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *branbran54*
> 
> I cover for myself. I really couldn't care less what anyone thinks. As shown from this thread, nothing will ever make anyone happy. If you don't cover, you offend some people and if you don't, you offend some people. Oh well.


Well you make your babe happy with your milk that's all that REALLY matters
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MnMtm*
> 
> There is nothing wrong with not covering up, but there is also nothing wrong with using a cover. It doesn't mean that you are ashamed or trying to hide what you are doing. I would hope that women don't start feeling like they can't or shouldn't use one because of judgment, because afterall, isn't that what we're trying to avoid? If a woman is more comfortable using a cover, or it just works better for her, shouldn't we still encourage her breastfeeding efforts? We should all show positive support for the others we see breastfeeding, cover or no cover.


This is really the heart of what is important, we fight so hard to be accepted, we sometimes forget how important it is to accept others. I have caught myself judging women that use covers as less brave or "hurting the cause". Mostly I find myself feeling sorry for them because I assume they feel pressured to use it. Thanks to this thread I'm going to work on ending that assumption and just give them my support. Maybe I'll sit near them and breastfeed without a cover, just so that in case they've never seen it, they can know it is ok.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *ScreenTime*
> 
> Wow, I might be the only male contributing to this thread, so go easy on me.
> 
> ...


Thanks for chiming in! Yeah I do think we should expect some strange looks and that we should practice our best " what? I'm perfectly normal what are you fusing about?" look. Not of anger or fight, just complete solid confidence.

And yes as for me, I choose to never cover for two reasons: I was raised thankfully with little to no body shame in a way that very much desexualized the human body, so I find it easy and comfortable. And two, I do think it is important for those of us that do find it comfortable to do it calmly and proudly to help those that are not sure or never considered it an option.


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## ~adorkable~ (Nov 7, 2007)

Oh and I have twins, so I feel extra tasked with showing that yes twins can be breastfed! And someday when they have head control and all get better at it I look forward to tandem beast feeding in public! One at a time is all I can manage right now without my home set up and pillows.


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## joolz425 (Oct 12, 2010)

If I'm nursing in the car I don't cover, but if I'm nursing where people are walking around I cover because she constantly pulls off to smile at me  or to look around. I just use a receiving blanket over my shoulders on the side she's nursing on. Also keeps her focused and not as distracted while nursing.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

When I nursed I sometimes covered and sometimes didn't. Usually I would wear a tank under my shirt and do the one-shirt-up, one-shirt-down thing. But if I wasn't dressed that way and my baby needed to nurse, or if the baby were being particularly distractible, I'd cover with a receiving blanket, which I always had in my bag anyway and used for lots of things.

It's irritating to me that, if some of you were to have seen me on a day when I covered, you would have felt sorry for me for being so beaten down by society, or been angry with me for perpetuating the "you must cover" idea.

I also think it's odd when people say that covers only draw attention to the fact that you're BFing -- for me, covering had nothing to do with trying to pretend I wasn't BFing, so why would I care if the cover drew attention? When I felt I needed it, I used it, and when I felt I didn't, I didn't! It wasn't a big social commentary either way, I was just feeding my kid in the way that worked best each time.


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## mom-of-five (Mar 24, 2011)

I did nurse my children whenever/whereever. I would pull up my t-shirt or top and that would cover if no-one was nearby. In the midst of others - at church, in restaurants, the store, family or friend gatherings, I would have one of their favorite receiving blankets handy - they would enjoy the familiar feel of a favorite blanket and those around could be comfortable knowing the baby was being snuggled/comforted/fed within the sweet/cozy setting of mom and baby - with the blanket lightly draped over areas that might be revealing. Comfortable and discreet for all of us. And yes, I love moms nursing their babies - it's sweet and wonderful - and prefer that terminology instead of "whipping it out" - that sounds a little like an object rather than a nurturing relationship.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

I cover when Im around people I know it would make uncomfortable and whose comfort I care about. For example, my grandpa. Other than that, I never use a cover. DD just wont leave it on.


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## purplerose (Dec 27, 2010)

Whipping it out to me(and most moms I know) means pulling out the breast and exposing it, letting it remain exposed when the baby is not nursing. There's a huge difference between nursing without a cover, and what is referred to as whipping it out. A very blatant act. And I really don't care either way, just trying to clarify the term. I do not feel it's offensive, either, as I whip it out at home just around my husband and kids and mother all the time! In public I try to be careful to keep the forbidden nipple hidden(though that's pretty silly, isn't it...why should that part be more private than the whole rest of the breast that's exposed in a bikini?!)


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## nstewart (Nov 6, 2010)

I sometimes cover, and sometimes don't cover. The only time I do cover is if I'm somewhere with a lot of people walking by, such as at the mall, etc and am not wearing something that allows me to be discreet. Oh, and in front of my dad.







It's a comfort thing for me. DS bobs on and off constantly and I prefer not to expose my nipples to the world. If DS wasn't a snacker and totally interested and curious in everything else going on then I wouldn't use one ever because it can be a pain. I think that women should be empowered to do what makes them feel comfortable to give their child what they need and to BF, cover or no cover. In some parts of north america even breastfeeding can be hard as understanding and support is hard to come by. All of my friends but one weaned by 6 mos at the latest, so my plan to BF DS until he decides he is done with BFing and the fact that we co-sleep and EC and that I wear him everywhere are all met with odd looks. If covering makes someone more comfortable, then why should we assume it makes them less of a BFing supporter than someone who choses not to? I fully support women who chose not to cover, I fully support NIP, I fully support extended BFing and child led weaning, but I also chose to use a cover sometimes and I imagine there are other moms who feel the same.


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## MamaofLiam (Nov 20, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *purplerose*
> 
> Whipping it out to me(and most moms I know) means pulling out the breast and exposing it, letting it remain exposed when the baby is not nursing. There's a huge difference between nursing without a cover, and what is referred to as whipping it out. A very blatant act. And I really don't care either way, just trying to clarify the term. I do not feel it's offensive, either, as I whip it out at home just around my husband and kids and mother all the time! In public I try to be careful to keep the forbidden nipple hidden(though that's pretty silly, isn't it...why should that part be more private than the whole rest of the breast that's exposed in a bikini?!)


Yeah, I don't really understand how the term "whip it out" is offensive. It's a general term usually used to describe getting something out in a quick manner, e.g., I often whip out my wallet to pay the cashier at the grocery store (emphasis on function). When I say whip it out I mean I give no thought to my surroundings and am mainly focused on quickly feeding my ds, but I don't generally leave it hanging out unless I'm at home. He does pop on and off a lot, and I spray quite dramatically (I have very heavy let downs), so I usually have to cover my nipple or I'll soak myself. That's my experience anyway.

I agree with you purplerose, it is pretty silly that the nipple is considered more taboo than the whole rest of the breast which is on display and considered acceptable in a bikini.


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## jessica_s (Feb 22, 2007)

I don't cover. Never felt a need to. I do have a mom friend who covers, no biggie. We both sat next to each other at a birthday party today and fed our babies. Very interesting!


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## abm79 (Feb 21, 2011)

So nice to hear so many women who don't cover. I don't cover, but have nursing shirts and bras so it's rather discreet as is. I also nurse while walking (I use a wrap) and have never really cared what people thought. However, I recently got into a debate online on public breastfeeding and heard some awful opinions coming out (i.e., it's disgusting, inappropriate, and perverted) so it's quite nice to hear of so many people who acknowledge the naturalness of it all.

Personally, I would say to do whatever makes you more comfortable. After all, if you're not comfy, it's not going to be a great experience for you or baby!


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

Right I certainly think if you are choosing to cover for whatever reason there is nothing wrong with that. I just hate that women feel they have to b/c of the way society has made NIP, BFing at all even.

*If say 90% of the women in this country BF and everyone NIP without any issues and it was seen as the normal and biological thing to do (which it is), then I don't even think this thread would have been made.*

The problem is bottle feeding is seen as normal and formula is normal. BFing has been turned into this "intangible" goal that woman "should do b/c it's best". If formula was only used in rare cases of when woman needed it b/c of medical issues then BFing would never have been put on a pedestal. Woman feel like it is impossible. Without the right knowledge and support no wonder why so many woman "fail" at it.

A lot of it depends on the woman as well. So many woman say "I will try to BF first" If you have that mentality about it, chances are you will give up. When I started BFing I had no support. Not one person to help me. I gave birth and went home 5hrs later, I was too scared to call LLL, and didn't know anyone living who ever EBF. I did research it a lot before I gave it a go though and I did not prepare for failure (bottles or formula) I just told myself not to doubt. I had a "it was this or nothing" kind of mentality, as if formula was not an option. We are still BFing at 17 m/o, never an issue.


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## belltree (Mar 10, 2009)

I nurse without a cover in public. A cover might aid, when the child is easily distracted, but my child hated scarves, so I let him be.

I did not nurse in public the first 3 months however. I had a very hard time establishing breastfeeding and it took usually 15-20min to establish a latch, later than only 5min and up. And I would get so frustrated and my eyes would tear from the pain, and I needed to hold the boob pretty much fully exposed in one hand the baby in the other trying to get those two to come together, waving the nipple in front of my baby. That's just nothing I felt comfortable doing outside, plus it was winter in New England.


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## nvernon (Aug 4, 2009)

I think that nursing covers are more for the mother's modesty than others, or at least they should be , if anything. I have never used one and live in a palace where formula and bottles are the norm, but in 1.5 years have never even felt uncomfortable nursing in public, or had anyone attempt to make me feel uncomfortable. However, i have very small breasts, mainly just milk, so I really think a lot of people don't notice until they are very close.... and then smile nervously.... down my chest at what they thought was a sleeping toddler. Also, I don't know about other children, but my daughter would never tolerate a "cover," even in AC at a young age.

Horribly, I remember attending a mandatory prenatal class in order to deliver at a birthing center and a husband/boyfriend of a young expectant mother told the class that he thought breastfeeding in public was completely inappropriate and offensive. If anything, that has made me more adamant about breastfeeding in public.


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## sosurreal09 (Nov 20, 2009)

That is sick! I hate when men do that! DH said there was a lady nursing her baby on a bench at his work yesterday and he was helping an older man and they walked by the woman and the man said "that's disgusting, can't she go to the bathroom and do that?" well DH said he told the guy off and asked him to leave and the mom was grateful.


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## nstewart (Nov 6, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> DH said he told the guy off and asked him to leave and the mom was grateful.


Good for your DH! I will never understand how anyone can think that feeding a child is offensive! And in the bathroom? Would that man have wanted to eat his lunch in the bathroom?


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

I am one who whips it out, modestly. It is not my mission to show the world. But I will not go and hide to feed my child.... usually just turn my body so I am not too exposed. I did use a small receiving blanket in the beginning and found that it was a PITA. I feel those nursing covers attract more attention as to what is going on. Most the time folks don't even know I am nursing.


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## hasya (Jun 27, 2010)

Cover doesn't work for DD, because she'll push it up, but I find a discreet place. While I don't have a problem seeing women nurse in public with no cover, it is odd for me if everything is out there, but that's just my conservative upbringing. I would never make someone cover up or give them glares or stares for nursing anywhere anytime any way. To each her own. I do give glares and stares when I see smokers though, and don't hesitate to comment about the stink aloud but that's a whole other thread.


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## heybabyquepaso (Mar 5, 2011)

The longer we nurse, the more comfortable I am nursing without a cover. I usually do the tank top trick, like other moms, and I carry a cover in my purse. Every once in a while I try to use it but my 5 month old is at the age where he just pulls it down anyway. It used to bother my husband, but he got used to it. I think there are certain situations where I think about covering (church), but don't really cover.

To be honest, I'm really more anxious about covering when my son is older than 1 year. I hear A LOT of flack for my decision to let him breastfeed past 1 year and I'm really not sure what we'll do when others start saying things like "Your STILL doing that?" I mean, I know what I'm supposed to say but I just really wonder if I might reach for the cover more when he's closer to toddler-hood.

Hopefully, by then, I'll just have even more confidence.


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## myk (Nov 24, 2006)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> Right I certainly think if you are choosing to cover for whatever reason there is nothing wrong with that. I just hate that women feel they have to b/c of the way society has made NIP, BFing at all even.
> 
> ...


i mostly agree with this. i however DID have issues with both my babies and at nearly 3 months still have latch issues. since i have a good supply the bottle has real milk in it, but bystanders have no way of knowing that. in any case it's been a very difficult 3 months and when it was "milk or nothing" my baby's blood sugar went dangerously low and she would also have been dehydrated if we had not supplemented. so i just put it in my mind instead that "breastfeeding is not optional", rather than all or nothing. decided formula and bottles were "only when medically necessary", which they were. i'm still a huge bfing advocate and try to restrict bottle use in public especially, because i want to normalize natural feeding as much as i can. she is latching several times a day, but only in the last few weeks. i'm so proud of her new skill, but still there are hurdles.

some people will read your post and feel bad because their difficulties were insurmountable in the end. it's not simply a matter of "failure is not an option", there are other very real factors at play. but you're right - attitude (and extreme stubbornness...) is a HUGE determining factor. so is availability of support (no LCs or LLL in town). every hurdle i've faced, i've faced alone except for online friends.

i guess the challenges we've faced probably make me even more proud to nurse publicly and visibly. we worked HARD for it and nobody is going to stop me from showing off my beautiful breastfeeding baby.


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## MnMtm (Jan 15, 2008)

I've debated NIP with my brother before, many times. He once said (not when I was nursing; he's actually never said anything to me while I'm nursing, just when we were debating it at a different time,) "Can't you at at least go to a different room until you're finished?" to which I respoded, "If you're uncomfortable, you're more than welcome to go to another room until I'm finished." I think I would probably say this to anyone whoe amde any sort of comment about going somewhere else.

Good for that DH! I love it when DHs are so suuportive of things like that. I 'm very happy that my DH is!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *sosurreal09*
> 
> That is sick! I hate when men do that! DH said there was a lady nursing her baby on a bench at his work yesterday and he was helping an older man and they walked by the woman and the man said "that's disgusting, can't she go to the bathroom and do that?" well DH said he told the guy off and asked him to leave and the mom was grateful.


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## hasya (Jun 27, 2010)

Extreme stubbornness. Yes, that. I was howling in pain my entire first month bfing. Had a backache and developed tendonitis that is still getting treated... But DH refused to let me succumb to just give her formula. We had decided that I wouldn't take the easy way out. Guess what, we did end up taking the easy way out, because now, there are no bottles to wash!!! I haven't really decided how long I want to nurse. I am taking it as it comes. I know one thing though, and I don't want to nurse through a pregnancy.


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## cat13 (Dec 8, 2010)

It's good to hear so many supportive mamas out there. Since moving to my town 1.5 year ago, I have never seen anyone NIP... and I even worked at the mall for a few months. I am a little nervous to do it myself (LO isn't due till summer), but I hope it's not too bad of an experience.


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## goldenwillow (Jan 5, 2010)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *cat13*
> 
> It's good to hear so many supportive mamas out there. Since moving to my town 1.5 year ago, I have never seen anyone NIP... and I even worked at the mall for a few months. I am a little nervous to do it myself (LO isn't due till summer), but I hope it's not too bad of an experience.


It is what you make it. It can be only positive.


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