# Are you kidding???!!!! - UPDATE



## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

So, I have been in this awful state of limbo for a week now, since finding out last Thursday at 6w4d that there was only an empty gestational sac (with a yolk sac, no babe) and HCG levels of 18,734. Should have seen a baby and a heartbeat . . . nothing. I have spent this last week searching my heart for the path to take from here. Planning. Preparing emotionally and physically. Steeling myself for what is to come.

Fast forward to today, my 1 week follow up ultrasound and meeting with my MW. The sac is still there (naturally, just faint spotting for most of the week), and to me it looks bigger. Sure enough, it has grown a bit . . . and there is a very, very tiny embryo there! With a flicker of a heartbeat!!!

What??? No, you must be mistaken, see, I am experiencing a miscarriage - or at least trying to so that I can move on.

Am I perhaps off on my dates? - no. Well, even so, the interval growth from last week to this week is not what it ought to be. My HCG quant now is just over 23,000. Rising, but no where near doubling every 3 days as it should be.

What is going on????? My MW says this is most probably a loss in progress . . .

While I wasn't expecting it, I am so glad for the opportunity to have seen our baby. I am so sad knowing that s/he is leaving me. This is getting harder and harder . . .


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## mamallama (Nov 22, 2001)

Aw, I'm so sorry.









What an awful time.


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)




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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

Andrea--

Wow, that's so exciting, but scary and....I don't know what else. I know you have to be braced for the worst but hoping for the best.

You are even more in my thoughts, as you wait to find out what is happening.

Keri


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## Mammax4 (May 26, 2006)

Andrea,

I am so sorry for all of this rollercoaster emotional stuff you are going through right now. I am sorry for the longer limbo.

Wouldn't it be nice if...

You are in my thoughts.








Micheline


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## Mackenzie (Sep 26, 2004)




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## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

Andrea,
Rollercoaster is right...I think Lola said it best. I'll be hoping for the best for you.








I'm so sorry you are going through this...

Katie


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## twilight girl (Mar 7, 2002)

Oh, Andrea, I'm so sorry for all the uncertainty and emotion your going through right now. What will you do? Have another follow up u/s in a week? I didn't even think the levels continued to double every 2-3 days after a certain point.








to you, darling! I hope everything gets figured out soon.

Judi


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## twilight girl (Mar 7, 2002)

Andrea,

I can't stop thinking about what you're going through. I wanted to give you a name of someone that you might PM: MsElle07. She had a similar thing happen, and is still pregnant today. She has a retroverted uterus and they had a hard time seeing the baby, the heartbeat and measuring, etc. Give it time, and do lots of follow up, either u/s or blood hcg before you make any big decisions. Do you know if you might have a retroverted uterus?






























Judi


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

I don't know . . .. .I never had an early u/s with G, just at 18/19 weeks where it would be hard to miss!

The thing is, my numbers aren't rising very quickly and I am still spotting. My MW says she has seen stranger things happen, but few. It's most likely a loss in progress. I intend to have weekly follow ups with u/s and labs if appropriate until things decalre themselves. I am so scared now, more so than before. I feel as though I am on a rollercoaster - up/down/up/down . .. .and I am so worried that if this baby hangs in there that there is still a big problem. I know it's crazy, and while I want to have a baby, I want a heathly baby - how can this babe be heathly with all that is happening????

Thanks for the advice, and I will PM her.

So for now, follow up next Thursday with another u/s, further details pending results.


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## Mammax4 (May 26, 2006)

I know the limbo thing is not fun. At one point, I said-although not wanting it to be --with all of my being-- If it was going to end, I wanted it to hurry up. I didn't want to be stuck hoping if there was no hope. Without a definate either way, you can't help but hope.

Andrea, I will wait with you. I will be there to hope with you, to smile, to cry, to rant...what ever you need.

Micheline


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

thanks, Micheline!

I was prepared for the end of this pregnancy. I spent every waking (and some sleeping) moment preparing myself for the inevitable end. Now I am fighting to not hope for too much. No one really knows what to tell me - no one seems to be optimistic, but then again, no one is ready to say it's over either.

I appreciate this dialogue. It's helpful to flesh out my thoughts and feelings, and no one IRL really understands . . . . it means more to me than you know. Thanks to MDC for being here, and all of you ladies for listening.


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## twilight girl (Mar 7, 2002)

Andrea, I'll be looking for you next week.


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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

Just take it day by day, Andrea. You will get through this.

Keri


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, however I am glad that you got to see your baby and who knows...everything just may work out...just take it one day at a time. one thing I have learned the hard way is that doctors, MWs and nurses do NOT know *everything* they are human too. Goodluck sweetie


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## wifeandmom (Jun 28, 2005)

I am so sorry you are going through this. The not knowing is so very hard to cope with emotionally.

With my current pg, u/s at 7w exactly showed a very small gestational sac. Nothing in it at all. HCG was over 29,000. Obviously something was not right.

HCG two days later was just over 33,000. Miscarriage seemed inevitable.

8 days later, at 8w1d, follow up u/s (same exact machine, different doc though) showed appropriately sized gestational sac, yolk sac, fetal pole, and a heart rate of 171.

I am now 28 weeks pg with what appears from all indications thus far to be a healthy baby girl. I have no clue why that first u/s was so very wrong, but at 7 weeks with an HCG count as high as mine was, there was no reason in the world to think we had a viable pg. We were wrong.

I hope you too find this pg is viable afterall. But more than anything, I hope and pray you find peace in this journey that is very difficult to go through, no matter what the ultimate outcome. I was at the point of just wanting an answer, something definite, I could cope with that. But not knowing was very, very hard to cope with emotionally.


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## caned & able (Dec 8, 2005)

I am so sorry...







s to you and your DP.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

Once hcg reaches the level that you have it can take longer than 96 hours to double.

For HCG levels <1,200mIU/ml, the expected doubling time is 48-72 hours.
For HCG levels 1,200-6,000mIU/ml, the expected doubling time is 72-96 hours.
For HCG levels >6,000mIU/ml, the expected doubling time is >96 hours.

Your level at 6w 4d of 18,734 is well within normal (1,080-56,500)

Have you had your progesterone level checked along with the hcg? If you progest is on the low side that would explain the spotting.

Sending prayers for you that this baby hangs in there and you end up with a happy pg.


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## Mammax4 (May 26, 2006)

Andrea-

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and hoping you are okay.
Micheline


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

Just wanted to offer a









Limbo is a horrid place to be. But there is not much more you can do but to wait.


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## mother culture (Oct 19, 2004)

Just letting you know that being a mother expecting a child is a very vulnerable and emotional time. All you are feeling is so difficult. But somewhere in the mix you know the truth and you are strong. Let the fear go and there will be peace.


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## darsmama (Jul 23, 2004)

Hey Andrea, just wanted to say that you only have 2 more days until Thursday. I really am hoping you recieve wonderful news.


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

What beautiful words these mamas have for you! I'm thinking of you!


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

Well, the U/S didn't show a heartbeat today. Our babe has passed. I knew this was the outcome days ago, as I have been talking to her ( I really feel this was a girl, but perhaps that's because we have a daughter, and that's the only other pregnancy I have known!), and telling her it's okay to do what she needs to do,and leave if that's what is meant to happen. She's listened, and she's gone.

i am so sad tonight.

I feel so alone, despite my terrific family and all of their support - and all of yours as well. Somehow, I am alone in this, you know?

well, I am ready for the next step. I am going in for an ERC Monday. Hopefully this will allow me the peace I need to move on.

Thanks to you all for thinking of me.


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## pottermama (Jun 14, 2006)

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know you must be feeling so much right now, I hope you find all the support you need to get through this.







My thoughts are with you! Try to take care of yourself!


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## Mammax4 (May 26, 2006)

Andrea,

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand, as I'm sure many do, the feeling of being alone in this. Know that you really are not. We share your pain and sadness with you.

Micheline

ps- I agree, your sister is fabulous.


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## emma_goldman (May 18, 2005)

I'm sorry, Momma. A candle for you and your little one...


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

so sorry.


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## twilight girl (Mar 7, 2002)

Andrea, I'm so sorry for all you've been through in the last weeks. I hope you find peace very soon.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## caned & able (Dec 8, 2005)

I am so sorry that this happened...peace to you and yours...


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## lolalapcat (Sep 7, 2006)

Andrea--

Thinking of you during these hardest of days. Wishing you peace of mind, and strength of heart.

Keri


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## Emilie (Dec 23, 2003)

Thinking of you mama..... I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Kaitnbugsmom (Dec 4, 2003)

thinking of you, so sorry for your loss


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## Shirelle (May 22, 2006)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.


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## christinadanielle (Sep 27, 2006)

i am sorry for your loss. we had a similiar situation a couple of years ago. the miscarriage lasted two full weeks. the roller coaster of emotions, the doctors not really sure what to tell us. it was an awful time. it makes me sad to think what you must be going through. my prayers are with you.


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## Aurora (May 1, 2002)

I understand the alone feeling. I am so sorry for your loss.


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