# "Creative Correction" by Lisa Welchel anyone?



## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Anyone read this? A mother in my triplet mothers group highly recommended it. I have to say . . . . I am quite hesitant about the recommendation. So thought I'd poll this group before I spend any $$$.

Thanks in advance.


----------



## 2bluefish (Apr 27, 2006)

'm pretty sure it is *not* a GD book - haven't read it, but haven't read good things about it - alot of punitive stuff.


----------



## Sylith (Apr 15, 2002)

If I'm not mistaken, her "creative corrections" include putting hot sauce on childrens' tongues.


----------



## kellers1384 (Nov 8, 2004)

lisa whelchel i thought was the actress in some older tv show, she played blaire or something? her "creative" stuff means physical punishment and whatnot. she's a big time spanker. i would say no no no to that book.


----------



## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Here is her website Disclaimer: I've only heard that she endorses hot sauce, so I can't say for sure...but these were enough to help me make an informed decision:

Snippets:

Quote:

*Leaving a mess?* The next time your child "forgets" to put something away, put it away for him. When he asks where it is, tell him that he'll have to look for it. Believe me, he will learn that it's a lot more trouble to find something that Mom has hidden than it is to put it away in the first place.

Quote:

*Toddler independence?* If your little one balks at holding your hand while in a parking lot or crossing the street, give him a choice. Remind him, "I can either hold your hand or hold your hair." Independence isn't quite so appealing on those terms.

Quote:

These are just a handful of the hundreds of proven, effective ideas for correction. There is also a chapter full of helpful ideas to motivate your children with incentives and rewards that not only curb negative behavior but build positive character qualities at the same time.
Which seems, IMO, to be in direct opposition w/the premise of GD:

Quote:

Effective discipline is based on loving guidance. *It is based on the belief that children are born innately good and that our role as parents is to nurture their spirits as they learn about limits and boundaries, rather than to curb their tendencies toward wrongdoing.* Effective discipline presumes that children have reasons for their behavior and that cooperation can be engaged to solve shared problems.
HTH! Have you posted to ask for book recommendations in the Multiples forum? You might want to pop over there, too


----------



## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Ugh.







: Its what I thought. Thanks for the info all.

I'm actually not looking for book recommends - I really have enjoyed Jane Nelson's books, and "Your Child's Self Esteem", and "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children".

I am dealing with a mom in our group who is really setting a tone for discipline - and what you "have to do" with triplets. And she recommended this book today (seemingly a retort to my recommendation of Positive Discipline) -- but I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and at least look into the book before I condemned it.

I suppose I could have googled the website myself? Didn't think of that. Yup - turns out - Blair from Facts of Life isn't such a great child behavior and discipline expert . . .shocking, huh?


----------



## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

Here is an article on beliefnet written by Lisa Weschel. I think it is an excerpt from the book:

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/67/story_6770_1.html


----------



## AngelBee (Sep 8, 2004)

The hair thing is repulsive! uke


----------



## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Here is a quote from the link to that article . . .

"God tells us that parents can and should use spanking as a way of reinforcing moral lessons"

pathetic . . .


----------



## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
I suppose I could have googled the website myself? Didn't think of that. Yup - turns out - Blair from Facts of Life isn't such a great child behavior and discipline expert . . .shocking, huh?

But everything always worked out so well on that sitcom!

BTW, I think my dh uses that method of putting things away for me. If only HE could remember where he put them.

And how are you going to hold onto three kid's hair all at the same time? Not even very practical, if you ask me.


----------



## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Oh. It gets worse. I did myself the disservice of reading Blair's articles . . . . This may be one of the most misguided things I've ever read . . . Here is an excerpt:

_What Does the Bible Say About It?
God's Word frequently addresses the subject of raising children. Corporal punishment is no exception. For example, Proverbs 13:24 reads, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." I wholeheartedly agree, and I'm sure you do, too--if we love our kids, we should correct them.

I believe children also understand this (though they may not admit to it!). Somehow, they intuitively know spankings are good for them, and that they receive them not only because they deserve it, but also because their parents love them. Let me see if I can convince you.

One evening, when Haven was only two and a half years old, Steve and I left the kids with a baby-sitter. Our instructions were clear: The girls went to bed at 7:00, Tucker at 8:00. When we arrived home at 8:30, the children were in bed, but even from the family room, we could tell that Haven wasn't asleep. There was screaming coming from her bedroom. She was in the midst of a full-blown temper tantrum, and the baby-sitter, Shawna, said she'd been acting that way all evening.

When I went to talk with Haven, I expected to be met with more screaming and crying. But instead she said, "'Pank me."

"Did Miss Shawna spank you?" I queried, confused.

"No. 'Pank me," she urged once again....

"Do you want Mommy to spank you?" I asked, my jaw dropping in astonishment.

"Yes!" said Haven, and she jumped out of bed for her correction. Afterward, she locked her arms around me in a bear hug.

_


----------



## lovemyfamily6 (Dec 27, 2006)

I read it too. I was shocked and disgusted. It was horrible. I just told dh that it was one of the more disturbing "discipline" techniques I've read. She's so calm and matter of fact about it.

The part you quoted above as well as the popsicle incident were so sad.


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Wow that fetish developed early.

ETA: in response to the book excerpt. I posted at the same time as Kristi


----------



## TripMom (Aug 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 

_What Does the Bible Say About It?

For this reason, I've quoted Proverbs 22:15 to my children about a hundred times. It says, "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." The companion verse is Proverbs 29:15: "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother." My kids know from these verses that spanking not only drives out the foolishness in them, but it also produces positive benefits, such as bringing them wisdom. This helps us all focus on the good that will result from an otherwise painful situation._

OK - the absurdity of this is overwhelming me. Its now becoming comical on some level. Take the above, for instance. Now I KNOW that my 2 year olds and my 4 year old really value "wisdom" over "foolishness" . . . they would so respond to this reasoning . . . . perhaps I should recite scripture tonight. . . .







:

And since we are picking and choosing verses out of the bible to interpret in the "literal" sense so as to justify our parenting . .. . . . maybe Blair should consider "plucking out her children's eyes if they make them sin" . . . I can't tell you the verse . . . .but I know that one is in there too . . . . or "cutting out the tongue" . . .that's in there . . .probably very effective for sassy sinning kids . . .


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...8&postcount=32

The full discussion belongs in Spirituality, but I think this is the best explanation yet for the whole biblical "rod" thing.

Basically, anyone who uses that verse to justify hitting children is talking straight out their







:.


----------



## Freespiritedjem (Mar 16, 2006)

Here is the link I found when I first heard of this book. http://www.stoptherod.net/creativecorrection.html

Reading through it made me really sick.


----------



## MaxMommy (Feb 16, 2007)

OMG! I read the link and it sounds to me like this woman hates kids. Why anyone like that would even have children is beyond me.


----------



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Wow, that is really really sad.


----------



## peacelovingmama (Apr 28, 2006)

I have read excerpts from her book before. It really strikes me as sadistic. I just don't understand why some people think that inflicting physical pain, fear and humiliation are the best ways to teach and guide a human being. I wouldn't let her spend 5 minutes alone with our dogs, let alone my children.







:


----------



## LoveBeads (Jul 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peacelovingmama* 
I have read excerpts from her book before. It really strikes me as sadistic. I just don't understand why some people think that inflicting physical pain, fear and humiliation are the best ways to teach and guide a human being. I wouldn't let her spend 5 minutes alone with our dogs, let alone my children.







:


That pretty much summed up my feelings.

I would love for somebody to find the passage in the bible where G-d commands us to put Tabasco on our children's tongues.


----------



## writermommy (Jan 29, 2005)

I feel sick after reading some of these suggestions! The one about sloppy homework sounds like a great way to get kids to HATE school work!








: The hair pulling and hot sauce on the tongue sound down right abusive, imo.


----------



## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

http://www.stoptherod.net/creative-c...pp183-185.html

Um...uke The description of "how" she spanks her kids,and their "preferred position" to receive thier "correction" actually sounds perverse. Sadistic,too.


----------



## nannyboo (Jan 8, 2007)

wow. this is so disturbing. it's sad to think that there are people reading her book and taking her horrible advice.


----------



## Fuamami (Mar 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *L&IsMama* 
http://www.stoptherod.net/creative-c...pp183-185.html

Um...uke The description of "how" she spanks her kids,and their "preferred position" to receive thier "correction" actually sounds perverse. Sadistic,too.









You know, I always have a lot more sympathy for the mom who loses her temper and spanks her kid in the heat of the moment (probably because I've been there)









But the planned spanking is so strange to me! If you really were calm, as she says you should be, how could you possibly intentionally hurt your child?


----------



## Sylith (Apr 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
You know, I always have a lot more sympathy for the mom who loses her temper and spanks her kid in the heat of the moment (probably because I've been there)









But the planned spanking is so strange to me! If you really were calm, as she says you should be, how could you possibly intentionally hurt your child?

My parents spanked using this kind of methodical approach and I can tell you, it messed my brother and me up. A kid can internalize some seriously bad messages about themselves, and about how we interact with those we love, too.

It's all done For your Own Good, you see...


----------



## Wugmama (Feb 10, 2005)

There is something so sexual about all of that, that it is so sick and disturbing to think it is happening between a mother and a little child.

And to claim that the child asking to be hit is evidence that is it is good and beneficial to hit your kids is just unbelievable.

Quote:

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" Krishnamurti
She has her children so fu**ed up that beatings are probably the only time they feel remotely connected to their mother.

I am continually shocked at the crap that gets published and purchased.








:
Tracy


----------



## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

You know what's really sick? For some parents, that book might actually make them *gentler*.


----------



## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

Lisa Welchel and her book make me feel ill


----------



## kathteach (Jun 6, 2004)

I was absolutely shocked. Sad, too. I would not be surprised if there's a Mommie Dearest-type book that comes out twenty years down the line by one of her children.


----------



## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *natensarah* 
You know, I always have a lot more sympathy for the mom who loses her temper and spanks her kid in the heat of the moment (probably because I've been there)









But the planned spanking is so strange to me! If you really were calm, as she says you should be, how could you possibly intentionally hurt your child?









: I hear ya. It boggles the mind.


----------



## L&IsMama (Jan 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *writermommy* 
I feel sick after reading some of these suggestions! The one about sloppy homework sounds like a great way to get kids to HATE school work!







: The hair pulling and hot sauce on the tongue sound down right abusive, imo.























Not to mention,it's all done in the name of God. So,really good way to raise your children to love God,no?







I seriously can't imagine the children "parented" that way are really loving or knowing God now,or as adults. I think they fear God.


----------



## Oriole (May 4, 2007)

Speachless...


----------



## bdavis337 (Jan 7, 2005)

I didn't think I'd be contributing to this thread at all, but after browsing her website and finding THIS quote about her oldest daughter, I just had to stick my 2 cents in.
===========================
"Haven is strikingly beautiful and very intelligent. She has dreamed of becoming the first female President of the United States since she was a preschooler. Thankfully, she's beginning to reconsider that goal."
===========================

Why the &*^%$ is it a good thing she's reconsidering that goal? I mean, is it so terribly wrong to have lofty aspirations? Goals and dreams that, if fulfilled even in part could potentially effect massive positive change on the lives of those around you? Geeeeez. Poor kid. Her mom has struck down as foolish one of her Big Dreams.


----------



## attachedmamaof3 (Dec 2, 2006)

I just want to throw out there that my sister and I were spanked in this manner as well (in the heat of mom's rage also) but sometimes calm/cool/collected...which can really freak a kid out and has resulted in some anger issues it's taken me a long time to get over. One of my mom's stories involve me (at age 2) refusing to stay in bed "because I hated to miss anything" and she told me if I didn't go back to bed she'd spank me. Two minutes later I apparently came out and said "spank me momma, spank me" while wagging my bottom at her. Based on our history together, I can only assume she obliged.







:

Creepy stuff.


----------



## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *L&IsMama* 
Not to mention,it's all done in the name of God. So,really good way to raise your children to love God,no?







I seriously can't imagine the children "parented" that way are really loving or knowing God now,or as adults. I think they fear God.









Thats what gets me...I'm a Christian and I want my son to LOVE God and LOVE Christ, I want to show my children the same Grace and Love and Forgiveness that Christ shows me. You didn't see Christ going around smacking around sinners (never in anger mind you...







) No, He talked to them, and then said "Go and sin no more" that was it.







: Sheesh, sometimes Christ even *helped* them or *healed* them dispite their sin...

Whats that the Bible says about casting the first stone...


----------



## swampangel (Feb 10, 2007)

I'm not a believer in censorship, but it does seem as though books like these should not be published...it's an invitation for people to abuse their children.

I had never heard of her book and I'm so sad that it's out there for vulnerable parents to latch on to.


----------



## LeslieB (Feb 17, 2006)

Just sick. I read the popsicle thing. How could anyone take this woman seriously? Wow. Just wow. Appalling!


----------



## AndVeeGeeMakes3 (Mar 16, 2007)

That is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read!!!!!!!!!

My mother used the hot sauce thing on my brother and me for lying. Db is now a pathological liar AND a passionate hot sauce lover!!!







:


----------



## vbactivist (Oct 4, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TripMom* 
Oh. It gets worse. I did myself the disservice of reading Blair's articles . . . . This may be one of the most misguided things I've ever read . . . Here is an excerpt:

_What Does the Bible Say About It?
God's Word frequently addresses the subject of raising children. Corporal punishment is no exception. For example, Proverbs 13:24 reads, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." I wholeheartedly agree, and I'm sure you do, too--if we love our kids, we should correct them.

I believe children also understand this (though they may not admit to it!). Somehow, they intuitively know spankings are good for them, and that they receive them not only because they deserve it, but also because their parents love them. Let me see if I can convince you.

One evening, when Haven was only two and a half years old, Steve and I left the kids with a baby-sitter. Our instructions were clear: The girls went to bed at 7:00, Tucker at 8:00. When we arrived home at 8:30, the children were in bed, but even from the family room, we could tell that Haven wasn't asleep. There was screaming coming from her bedroom. She was in the midst of a full-blown temper tantrum, and the baby-sitter, Shawna, said she'd been acting that way all evening.

When I went to talk with Haven, I expected to be met with more screaming and crying. But instead she said, "'Pank me."

"Did Miss Shawna spank you?" I queried, confused.

"No. 'Pank me," she urged once again....

"Do you want Mommy to spank you?" I asked, my jaw dropping in astonishment.

"Yes!" said Haven, and she jumped out of bed for her correction. Afterward, she locked her arms around me in a bear hug.

_


Wow. and who will be surprised when she is accepting abuse from her boyfriend some day? This is really upsetting.







:







:


----------



## Miasmamma (Sep 20, 2006)

This is creepy. My mom's womens group from church is trying to get her to come and speak at one of their functions. I will have to forward this stuff to her.


----------



## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

Toddler independence? If your little one balks at holding your hand while in a parking lot or crossing the street, give him a choice. Remind him, "I can either hold your hand or hold your hair." Independence isn't quite so appealing on those terms

Well that isnt very nice, nah I wouldnt read this book.


----------



## turtlewomyn (Jun 5, 2005)

When I was reading the descriptions of her punishments it actually started to remind me of some of the descriptions in the book Sybil (about a woman who was horrifically abused by her mother and ended up with multiple personalities). I hope she is making a lot of money off of this book, because she is going to need to use it to pay for her kids therapy.


----------



## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kalkiwendy* 
That is one of the most disgusting things I've ever read!!!!!!!!!

My mother used the hot sauce thing on my brother and me for lying. Db is now a pathological liar AND a passionate hot sauce lover!!!







:

My parents never used it for lying, but they did do the spicy stuff and then the hot sauce on my thumb to discourage me from thumb sucking. A woman in dd's preschool class said she does that with her dd too. That one I can tell you will backfire too. I sucked my thumb until I was 11. And I like hot sauce.


----------



## Mom2lilpeeps (Aug 19, 2006)

I had to stop reading the excerpts from her book. It was too disturbing. I know two people who use that 'ritualistic' type spanking method and it just creeps me out. How anyone can think that a child asking for a spanking is okay is beyond me.







: I can't believe she is proud of that fact and actually published it in a book. I would be so ashamed of myself as a person and a mother. As someone else said, I wonder why she even has children. She doesn't even seem to like them much less respect them. EWW!!!

Peace


----------



## ECFEMOM (Nov 3, 2007)

I have to say, I just went to a "seminar" by Lisa Welchel and I left there absolutely sick! One mom said that her 2 year old laughs when she smacks her hand...Lisa's reply - you need to hit her harder...it needs to hurt! Wow! I just can't believe that she can say this stuff and not get arrested!


----------



## MtBikeLover (Jun 30, 2005)

Ugghhh - this is just awful. It makes me sick to my stomach.


----------

