# Periods--tampons...



## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

My oldest is far away from periods but she is getting friends that have them.

What is the push to wear tampon? I can see encouraging them for at least swimming but I have heard mom's "assisting" putting them in.

Am I wrong for thinking that is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG? I can see talking about it, giving instructions, telling my dd to feel herself so she knows were it goes. Giving a little ky--nervous body isn't always friendly body. But I feel actually assisting is violating. Am I wrong for feeling that if they were/are ready they will either do it themselves or ask me to help?

I love swimming but I don't see it that big of a deal to push a girl to wear a tampon to take her swimming. I would find alternative plans for her if she wasn't comfortable.

Am I missing something here with the push to wear a tampon?

When we get there I plan on discussing options, explaining how to, and just having them avialble for when they decide to use them.


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

I'm missing what your missing... Almost!

The cashier at the store (of _all_ people) wanted to know why pads when dd could wear tampons.

Um, because she doesn't want tampons...

I just told her "It's none of you damned business!" (word for word and I was not nice about it.)

Actually now she wants cloth pads.


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## Houdini (Jul 14, 2004)

I didn't even think tampons were recommended until they were older...our daughter just started her cycle last month. She turned 12 two days before Christmas...hadn't even considered the possibility at this stage.


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## reece19 (May 21, 2008)

I would think...if you can't put in a tampon yourself, you don't need one. Why would you ever insert your kid's tampon?

My girls have access to tampons, bc I use them, but I don't think they've tried to use them. They are 10 and 11.


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## vivvysue (Feb 18, 2007)

my daughters got the information from me. i didnt show them or assist them, but i know that they helped each other when it came to questions or troubles they didnt want to discuss with mom. i dont think they felt so much a media push as they did peer pressure to use them after a certain age... right around 14/15 i think.

v


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## MG01 (Nov 17, 2008)

I think a lot of it is that young girls and women are really not comfortable with menstruation in today's society. If women perceive their menstrual fluid as "gross" or "unclean," a pad that makes the sight, smell, texture quite apparent may seem unhygienic or messy to some or most; one has to do a whole lot more acknowledging of, and interacting with, their menstrual fluid with a pad.

Also, I think some of it might be concern with discretion- that the bulk or outline of a pad will be visible to others. When I was growing up I felt that pads were perceived this way, and there was certainly pressure to use tampons; that is kind of the norm among my generation.

That said, I tend to prefer internal protection, like a menstrual cup, not because I feel that it's "gross" or that I am uncomfortable with it, but I do prefer to contain it for simplicity/tidiness.

But with girls menstruating younger and younger, I think it makes sense to hold off on tampons until they are comfortable psychologically and physically with the idea of inserting something there, and able to do it themselves. I agree that there shouldn't be any pressure to use one form over the other. I can also see though that the first time putting one in can be a little intimidating- it would be really weird/wrong if the mom had to do it every time, if that is what you meant in our post, but I suppose it seems less of to me if she wants some help or guidance the very first time she tries.. that said, it seems to me one of those things that is better done yourself- you have to figure out how to work with your body, it's not really something that someone else can do as intuitively as you can do yourself, you know? So it does seem more reasonable that if a girl expresses on her own accord a preference for trying tampons, the mom could offer to purchase the tampons and lube and offer support without having to physically do the inserting, as the girl will eventually need to learn that anyway and it is a pretty personal thing.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

We live where going to the beach is a year round activity.

I happen to know my dsd isn't comfortable enough with her own body to use tampons or a diva cup, but she wants to try so she doesn't have to stay out of the water when she gets her period.

Consequently, I'll waste a few dollars on OB tampons before I spend almost $40 on a diva cup. If she can use the OBs, then we'll go ahead and get a diva cup, but if she's going to go _eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!_ I'm not wasting my money and she can skip the beach occasionally.









I'm not going to tell her I don't have confidence in her, because she may surprise me. But I'm not going to be foolish with my money, either. I _hope_ she proves me wrong because it will be cheaper and easier in the long run.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Just FYI bigeyes, OBs never worked for me because I have really short fingers and I couldn't get them in far enough. If your DSD happens to have short fingers, she may need something with an applicator.


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## bremen (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
Just FYI bigeyes, OBs never worked for me because I have really short fingers and I couldn't get them in far enough. If your DSD happens to have short fingers, she may need something with an applicator.

in far enough? sounds like you may have been trying to push them too far. i only use tampons without applicators, and i just push them in far enough to get past the pubic bone. only an inch, at most of my finger goes in.
i have never had any issues with leaking, etc.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

:

My little girl seems to be in the beginning stages of puberty. She's 8. I'm worried that she'll have her period when she's 9 or 10, so I'm taking as many notes as I can.


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## kimiij (Jun 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
What is the push to wear tampon? I can see encouraging them for at least swimming but I have heard mom's "assisting" putting them in.

Maybe I'm missing something but how do you know the girls didn't ask their mom for help or give explicit consent to their mom helping them?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
But I feel actually assisting is violating. Am I wrong for feeling that if they were/are ready they will either do it themselves or ask me to help?

Again, what if that's what your dd's friends did?

I am not at all a fan of tampons- I don't wear them. But I wouldn't necessarily assume that their moms are pushing them to wear them.

Maybe there's something you've left out.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kimiij* 
Maybe I'm missing something but how do you know the girls didn't ask their mom for help or give explicit consent to their mom helping them?

Again, what if that's what your dd's friends did?

I am not at all a fan of tampons- I don't wear them. But I wouldn't necessarily assume that their moms are pushing them to wear them.

Maybe there's something you've left out.

I have known more than one mom to new menestratin girl push tampon.

I have heard one mom say "Just were a damn tampon" yes she was frustrated but we had options and it was suggested.

I have heard and read mom's talk about assisting a less than happy child to wear a tampon. This girls aren't asking to wear them they are being told to. No sympathy for not being comfortable with them. That is why I am bothered with these situations and these mom's they are doing it with out the girls permission--like life stops because you won't use a tampon. Life might change but it doesn't stop.


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## JamieCatheryn (Dec 31, 2005)

My mom told me if I used tampons before I was sexually active I'd get TSS. I always suspected she was lying to me to make me tell her when I was. I found pads didn't contain the leakage and I got made fun of so I stole hers. So there is nothing to what she told me at all then?


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JamieCatheryn* 
So there is nothing to what she told me at all then?

Nope. Absolutely nothing to it.

-Angela


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
I have known more than one mom to new menestratin girl push tampon.

I have heard one mom say "Just were a damn tampon" yes she was frustrated but we had options and it was suggested.

I have heard and read mom's talk about assisting a less than happy child to wear a tampon.


Where in the world are you having these conversation? This whole thread is just too out there for me because I've never heard another mother discussing these things with her DD, and my DDs never mention talking about them with their friends.


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## grimlyfiendish (Jan 4, 2009)

I don't think there's any push for girls to use tampons, nor is there any issue if they do use them at a younger age. My 15yo has been using them since she was 11, just because she prefers them. I can't really imagine anyone "encouraging" their daughter to use tampons when she's not ready.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

My dd prefers to abstain from swimming at her moontime. But if she ever asked for help inserting a tampon I'd help her. She'd have to ask me though. I'd also try to talk her through it first. I used to have to insert tampons for a woman that had MS and I was her inhome care provider. It was VERY uncomfortable for me to do.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *grimlyfiendish* 
I don't think there's any push for girls to use tampons, nor is there any issue if they do use them at a younger age. My 15yo has been using them since she was 11, just because she prefers them. I can't really imagine anyone "encouraging" their daughter to use tampons when she's not ready.

I'm especially icked out by the idea of someone forcing their dd to use one if she didn't want to.







I can't wrap my head around that at all.


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

I remember assisting my sister who was putting in her first tampon. I am 8 years older than her and she was in tears because she couldn't get it in and there was a big pool party.

When I got my period for the first time I walked myself to the nurse and paid my $.10 for a tampon. There was no way I would ever, ever, ever wear a pad. They feel (and often look) like a diaper and I will never sit in my own blood if I can have it all nicely contained inside.

I remember sharing those sentiments among friends in school, and the only girls I knew who didn't wear tampons were ones who were told (by their parents














or believed that they weren't virgins if they used tampons. Well, there were one or two who couldn't get them in comfortably.

I never heard of an adult pushing tampons over pads - only the opposite - and I was not in school that long ago.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
Where in the world are you having these conversation? This whole thread is just too out there for me because I've never heard another mother discussing these things with her DD, and my DDs never mention talking about them with their friends.

I feel like you are insinuating something but the "D**n Tampon" comment was heard in a locker room.

I have been at pools and a party and the topic has been talked about becuase my kids are at that age were the girls are starting. They are parental "war" stories.

Yes, on more mainstream board I have heard it discussed.

I brought it up here because there is more like minded people. Plus I needed to hear comments like Sk8ermaiden to understand better some of these situations.

I wouldn't have been bothered by these situations and conversations if I knew the girls were asking for help....it just seems in the girl circle there is a push to get over the fear of wearing a tampon.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bremen* 
in far enough? sounds like you may have been trying to push them too far. i only use tampons without applicators, and i just push them in far enough to get past the pubic bone. only an inch, at most of my finger goes in.
i have never had any issues with leaking, etc.

My pubic bone is high on that end (ask me what station DS got hung up on for a really, really annoying hour during pushing







) and my fingers are very short. So it would be too low to be comfortable for me, I could feel the tampon and it was rather painful, unlike using an applicator. After having DS I guess the bones moved around a bit, because it is no longer an issue with OB tampons.


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## Sk8ermaiden (Feb 13, 2008)

:

I've been a tampon user for years and years and never had a problem with any of the brands but O.B. It just sucks not to have an applicator. And I don't have the problem of the above poster. They just always feel like they're going to fall out.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
My oldest is far away from periods but she is getting friends that have them.

What is the push to wear tampon? I can see encouraging them for at least swimming but I have heard mom's "assisting" putting them in.

Am I wrong for thinking that is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG? I can see talking about it, giving instructions, telling my dd to feel herself so she knows were it goes. Giving a little ky--nervous body isn't always friendly body. But I feel actually assisting is violating. Am I wrong for feeling that if they were/are ready they will either do it themselves or ask me to help?

I love swimming but I don't see it that big of a deal to push a girl to wear a tampon to take her swimming. I would find alternative plans for her if she wasn't comfortable.

Am I missing something here with the push to wear a tampon?

When we get there I plan on discussing options, explaining how to, and just having them avialble for when they decide to use them.

I think no mother needs to assist in putting a tampon in! If she cannot put one in place and remove it HERSELF, why should she wear one?

However, I don't know that there is necessarily a "push" to wear one -- although I do agree that if she is planning to swim, that (or a menstrual cup) is the only sanitary solution.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 







:

I've been a tampon user for years and years and never had a problem with any of the brands but O.B. It just sucks not to have an applicator. And I don't have the problem of the above poster. They just always feel like they're going to fall out.

I LOVE OB tampons. They are the only ones I don't "feel" inside me. I think because they are shorter.


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## LaLaLaLa (Oct 29, 2007)

Man, my first few periods hit with a vengeance (still do when I'm not on the Pill). Lots of physical pain, added to the psychological trauma of frequently bleeding all over my clothes and bedding. Plus I was a cross-country runner and pads chafed and bunched and made my life even more miserable. It was an ugly situation for a fourteen-year-old to have to sort out.

Luckily my mom was a tampon wearer and suggested I try those. The first couple of times I had a really difficult time because I just wasn't inserting them properly. Maybe I should have read the directions, but really I was just a mess about the whole situation. I could have used a good talking-through, but was too embarrassed to ask.

I eventually did figure things out, but it was a messy and tear-filled time until I did. I don't think I'd be comfortable inserting a tampon for someone else, but I'd totally be sympathetic about giving instructions to DD or anyone else who was having trouble.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
I have been at pools and a party and the topic has been talked about becuase my kids are at that age were the girls are starting. They are parental "war" stories.

My DDs are this age and are competitive swimmers so we live at the pool. I've never heard a conversation like this. I cannot image how a girl this age would feel about her mother talking about her periods with her friends. It is so invasive. Just because girls are this age isn't a reason for the moms to sit around talking about it.

Why don't you get up and walk away from these conversations? They are weird and inappropriate. Not all mothers talk about their DDs private issues in public.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

DD1 generally prefers tampons- she finds them to be more comfortable. They're also more environmentally sound as they're simply smaller and produce less waste than disposable pads. I've offered to either sew or purchase cloth pads for her, but so far she's not interested.

I've never actually put in a tampon for her or kept her company in the bathroom while she was putting one in. However, we did discuss tampon use, safety, comparison of different brands and types, and general discussion of how to put in a tampon. After studying the package insert, she was able to figure it out on her own, and now likes tampons better than pads.

I don't think it matters if a girl gets her first period at 8 or 15- if she's physically mature enough to menstruate she's probably physically mature enough to wear a tampon.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
DD1 generally prefers tampons- she finds them to be more comfortable. They're also more environmentally sound as they're simply smaller and produce less waste than disposable pads.

They also don't have the plastic and adhesives in them, so they're pretty biodegradable.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
My DDs are this age and are competitive swimmers so we live at the pool. I've never heard a conversation like this. I cannot image how a girl this age would feel about her mother talking about her periods with her friends. It is so invasive. Just because girls are this age isn't a reason for the moms to sit around talking about it.

Why don't you get up and walk away from these conversations? They are weird and inappropriate. Not all mothers talk about their DDs private issues in public.

I just wandered onto this thread....but wanted to say that as someone not long out of my teens, a LOT of moms apparently are that invasive. I had a friend whose mom forced her to use a tampon at age 9 because she had paid for swimming lessons and didn't want them to go to waste. on teh converse, my mother forbade me from shaving my legs or using tampons. she gave me the same story another poster here mentioned about TSS. I didn't believe her, researched it myself, asked the doctor, and then proceeded to stop trusting her.







but, yeah, she and her friends definitely had conversations like this, and my mother was still monitoring my tooth-brushing and deodorant use when I was in the tenth grade.







I can't imagine being that interested in someone else's personal hygiene.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
My DDs are this age and are competitive swimmers so we live at the pool. I've never heard a conversation like this. I cannot image how a girl this age would feel about her mother talking about her periods with her friends. It is so invasive. Just because girls are this age isn't a reason for the moms to sit around talking about it.

Why don't you get up and walk away from these conversations? They are weird and inappropriate. Not all mothers talk about their DDs private issues in public.

One I am not perfect.....and sadly it is something I grew up with. I don't do it because I don't like it but at the same time it was the realm of my growing up....even in my adulthood I sensor what I tell her because I know she will talk about it.


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

That is just wierd. There is no way I am acutally putting in my kids tampon. No freaking way. I don't get the push for tampons either. What I did was give her an assortment of items to try out and see what she wanted and needed.


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## esmicosaquehago (Oct 24, 2008)

My mom had to help me my first couple of times... I was 10. I think she offered, but I needed it.


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## thepeach80 (Mar 16, 2004)

My mom never helped me, but we did get slender tampons (I think they were advertised towards teens) to help. I was 11 when I got af and didn't try tampons till it would've been right after I turned 13. I was going on a school trip and there were going to be water rides involved so I made sure I could use a tampon! Now I wear my cup (or will again eventually) and it's loads better than tampons ever were. I'm not sure what we'll do when the time comes, I guess it depends on age/maturity but I would like to see them use something at least more eco-friendly than just run of the mill pads. Yuck.

On a side note, I taught my bff how to use tampons when we were in college. I still remember standing outside the bathroom giving her a step by step on how to do it! lol


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## amynbebes (Aug 28, 2008)

My dd is 13 and has been menstruating for a year and a half and I've never pushed either. She wanted to try tampons over the summer because she was going swimming. She went through a whole box trying and gave up. She didn't ask for my help other then me telling her a bagillion times how to do it. I suppose I would have help had she really wanted me to but quite frankly I have no desire to actually physically help her.


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## enkmom (Aug 30, 2004)

I have to honestly say that when my daughter was a young teen, the pressure from the moms went the other way - "You can't wear tampons until you are older" or "Tampons can't be used by virgins", etc. etc. When my daughter was ready, she read the instructions and started using them herself. My help was not asked for or necessary. By 14 or so, she was using tampons nearly exclusively.

I have never heard a conversation about menstrual choices between mothers. My daughter would pass on information about what other girls were told by their mothers.


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## skreader (Nov 19, 2008)

I started wearing tampons from my 1st period (used my mom's OB). When my DD started, I got her pads and also suggested she might want to try using tampons. I gave her some very small OBs and showed her the instructions, etc.

She has found that at this point she prefers tampons w/ applicators & likes to use a pad at night.


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## Kidzaplenty (Jun 17, 2006)

When I started, I pulled out the directions, read them all the way through, and learned how to insert them on my own. I hated them and went to pads.

When my oldest started, I insisted she deal with the "horrible" pads for three cycles, then we could reevaluate tampons. She did, and now much prefers tampons, which she taught herself to use by reading the directions as I told her to do. My second will not even try a tampon, she thinks they are gross.

I now use a diva cup and will never look back. I am looking for a cup for my oldest, as I think she will really like it. But I think my second will stick with pad for a while longer. My third has not started yet, so we will see. But I will not do it for her either. If they can't read the directions and do it themselves, they have to do without. I think it is just something that should be private.


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## Sarah W (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
There was no way I would ever, ever, ever wear a pad. They feel (and often look) like a diaper and I will never sit in my own blood if I can have it all nicely contained inside.

I agree. I also would never wear a pad. I'm almost 30 and have worn one when I had surgery and PP. When I started, my mother gave me a tampon. If I had wanted something else, no doubt she would have bought them for me. I think a lot of girls use what their mothers do.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

I was on the swim team in high school, and that is the only time I have regularly used tampons. I just hate them (although after 2 babies I am sure they would fit differently). I remember my mom being a little freaked out that I knew how to use one and did not ask for help (I'm sure she meant verbal instructions though!)

I just got my period back after baby #2 and just like after baby #1 it's like being a 12 year old all over again. I leaked onto my jeans while at an amusement park play date (not noticeably thank goodness) and the other Mom I was with made fun of me for not using tampons. She made some comment about growing up and getting with the modern age or something.







: I was really surprised by the attitude.

I don't think it is my place to push any one type of product at my DD. I will just talk to her about the options and then help her get what ever she decides to try. It's her body. It's her choice about what to use/what works best for her.

Some parents need to back WAY off!


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## funfunkyfantastic (Feb 9, 2008)

I started wearing tampons as a teen not because my friends told me to (although they did, but i'm stubborn and won't let people tell me what to do.) I started wearing tampons when I got annoyed with always feeling like I was going to leak. I guess I was paranoid that i'd soon be walking around school with a big red spot on my behind! lol. I also hated the way the pads would stick to me and make me sore. I use cloth pads for CM right now, and plan to use them with tampons once AF returns. I just find tampons easier to use and more comfortable, and also less likely to cause a leak that would stain my clothing.


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## Teenytoona (Jun 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 







:

I've been a tampon user for years and years and never had a problem with any of the brands but O.B. It just sucks not to have an applicator. And I don't have the problem of the above poster. They just always feel like they're going to fall out.

I'm the exact opposite. I just could not figure out how to get a tampon in without hurting til I tried OB when I was 22. I still can't use applicators comfortably. Not that I use them anymore, but the occasion does arise now and then.


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## swampgreeneyes (Nov 25, 2008)

I had problems the first couple of times I tried tampons, but I figured it out (as most kids should maybe?) and aquatic social situations went unhindered.
My dd hit the age where such discussions are prevalent. I'm 29, she's 9, and she has pubic hair, underarm hair, and training bras. I ALWAYS make it a fun and pleasant conversation, put the emphasis on her growth & developmental milestones (which is where she feels comfortable) and assure her I am here for any of her questions. I have NEVER heard of a mother placing the tampon physically for her daughter, and I consider myself an outgoing, educational mother. My former partner and I always gave dd privacy when she would "explore" her body as a toddler, and simply stressed personal space and privacy. I feel this is the same thing and let her know I'm here for her, but I would never infringe on her body.

As an aside, several moms have been correct in pointing out their own or their dd's concerns over cleanliness and discomfort with menstrual fluids,smells, etc. Tampons can hide what may embarrass or inconvenience an active young woman or girl. There is no harm in hiding your flow, but it should not be enforced to the girl's discomfort.


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## delfin (Jul 11, 2007)

double


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## delfin (Jul 11, 2007)

I don't like tampons. I'm not sure if they are more enviromentally friendly than pads.
I'm a bit concerned about inserting a heavily bleached piece of GMO cotton inside my vagina.
I haven't had my period in a while (pregnant, nursing) but i always kinda liked to feel the blood coming out. Don't like to sit on it, but just the tickle of it dripping.
As a teen, i used tampons many times, but for the pool, there was a idea that being in the water "cuts" you menstruation, but i don't know how true that can be.


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## interested (Apr 11, 2007)

I've been following this thread and have to admit that I am a quite surprised. I only have boys, but was, after all, a young teen myself not so long ago.

If I had a daughter who wanted to use tampons and had grown frustrated enough with trying unsuccessfully to follow the instructions - and was comfortable enough with her body and with me - to come to me for *physical* help, I would not have a problem with helping her. Not.At.All. Even my husband, who is annoyingly squeamish about menstruation, was a little surprised at the responses when I talked to him about the thread.

This would *completely* hinge on her comfort in asking me; I probably would not offer just because I wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable in the slightest. But I remember the tearful desperation of an imminent swim date and my corresponding first tampon attempt - and frankly, the help of a very trusted female is not something I would have balked at.

I'm curious - for everyone here who says they would not give physical assistance - is it about the comfort of your DD? What if she asked you for this sort of help?


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

For me it's about the lack of understanding related to the female anatomy. Though if she asked for help, it would probably be babymomma being asked.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

My mother told me that I'd lose my virginity if I used a tampon







Yep, whe was "one of those...."









I figured out how to use tampons anyway, with the help of a Playgirl magazine article on female anatomy









On the OB debate, I could only use OB comfortably. I always needed to _feel_ where it was to make sure it was in the right spot, and couldn't get that with an applicator.


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## mar123 (Apr 14, 2008)

My dd is 10 and will be starting AF anytime now. She is so developed physically, she is like a 13 year old (5'0 86 pounds, been wearing a bra for 2 years and NEEDS it), but mentally she is still 10. She still needs help shaving under her arms, so I cannot imagine her putting ina tampon. However, when she wants to, I will talk her through it.

I cannot wear tampons by themselves. They ALWAYS leak, unless I am changing them every hour or two. Also, my body pushes them out. And yes, I am putting them in right. My doc said he has heard that some women have this problem. They start out in the right place, but after a while, they can be 1/2 way out on their own. I always said it was too bad I didn't dialate, I could have pushed those babies out in one push!


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## 2xy (Nov 30, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mar123* 
I cannot wear tampons by themselves. They ALWAYS leak, unless I am changing them every hour or two. Also, my body pushes them out. And yes, I am putting them in right. My doc said he has heard that some women have this problem. They start out in the right place, but after a while, they can be 1/2 way out on their own.

Are you sure it's your body that's the problem?

I used to have this problem a million years ago when I used Tampax. They get longer as they absorb, so they end up protruding out of the vagina sometimes. Other brands, like Playtex and OB, get wider instead of longer.

I'm an OB user. Like another poster mentioned, I have very short fingers and have no trouble using OB. But I do have trouble using Diva cups and such, which is why I don't use them. It's way too difficult for me to get them in and out properly.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

My DD started her period at age ten and wanted tampons. I was against it as I preferred reuseable cloth pads, but that is what she wanted....

I recommended OB for her. That is what she has used ever since.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mar123* 
My dd is 10 and will be starting AF anytime now. She is so developed physically, she is like a 13 year old (5'0 86 pounds, been wearing a bra for 2 years and NEEDS it), but mentally she is still 10. She still needs help shaving under her arms, so I cannot imagine her putting ina tampon. However, when she wants to, I will talk her through it.

I cannot wear tampons by themselves. They ALWAYS leak, unless I am changing them every hour or two. Also, my body pushes them out. And yes, I am putting them in right. My doc said he has heard that some women have this problem. They start out in the right place, but after a while, they can be 1/2 way out on their own. I always said it was too bad I didn't dialate, I could have pushed those babies out in one push!

That's the problem we have. Dsd is very immature, but physically, very mature. She was completely confused and so far has not been successful with the applicator type and acts grossed out by the OB. This is why I didn't buy the divacup yet, as I wasn't going to waste 35 to 40 dollars on something she wouldn't use.









She doesn't like pads, but she doesn't quite get the concept of tampons or diva cups. It's awful for someone's body to be so far ahead of their mind.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

About seven or eight years ago I was reading one those teen bop mags and in the section where the girls can write in and stuff one girl actually wrote in saying her mom made her wear tampons and actually put them in her and took them out. She hated it and asked if it constituted sexual abuse. I have to admit that I think it does, if the child doesn't want the help. If she asks for it, then it's a totally different situation.

I think the push for tampons is the same as the push for formula. _Your period is gross and just not natural. You should hid it all times and the easiest way to do that is with a tampon, not a pad. Then no one will ever notice it. You must be perfect and beautiful and perfect and beautiful girls don't wear pads._ At least that's the way I felt when I was in high school, like I had to hide it and no one could ever know.

Ever since then, I've only worn tampons. I don't always carry a purse and a tampon is easier to fit into my pocket. When I had to start wearing them again for the post partum bleeding, it was uncomfortable and I felt like I was wearing a diaper.


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## donnaworkingmomto4 (Oct 26, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sk8ermaiden* 
I remember sharing those sentiments among friends in school, and the only girls I knew who didn't wear tampons were ones who were told (by their parents














or believed that they weren't virgins if they used tampons. Well, there were one or two who couldn't get them in comfortably.

I never heard of an adult pushing tampons over pads - only the opposite - and I was not in school that long ago.

Yeah my mom was one of these, fanatic religious/conservative... how using a tampon is something dirty/sexual and not using them is "part of being a virgin".







: I also remember her taunting me and my older sister about how one day we were going have a period and it horrified me... as she is/was undiagnosed bipolar and frequently blamed her episodes on her period...

sorry though, side tracking.

One odd thing though is I am pretty sure I broke my hymen with a tampon(ironic no?)... I couldn't even get it in properly(I must have been about 15)... I think I have a shorter than average vag canal... so that could be one thing to consider... it stung like hell.


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## Bluegoat (Nov 30, 2008)

I think putting sonthing in someone's vagina that she didn't want there is infringing on her body.

I don't think physical help with a tampon would be very useful, myself. It seems to me you have to feel what is going on.

As a teen I could never get tampons positioned properly, so I mostly stuck with pads. I bought the tampons myself - I'm sure my mom would have but I was really secretive about my body at that age - and she did ask me when she noticed I had them if I had had any trouble. She said that in some girls the little hole in the hymen was very small and could make insertion difficult.

I have a cup now but I'm not crazy about it either, I find it is uncomfortable if it's not perfectly positioned.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *interested* 
I'm curious - for everyone here who says they would not give physical assistance - is it about the comfort of your DD? What if she asked you for this sort of help?

I would offer literature....give tips and advice....speak frankly about anatomy and all that....but ultimately would tell her that, if she can not insert the tampon herself, she is not ready to use them. That is just the reality, from my pov. No, I wouldn't insert them for her.


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## Nautical (Mar 4, 2008)

This is an interesting thread. I started my period when I was 8, and we didn't have any pads in the house, because my mom had never used them. So, I read the box of tampons and just started using them. My mom didn't even know that I had started my period for a few more months.

The first time I ever used a pad was in the days after I had my daughter. When she starts her period, I'll present her with both (and a selection of each) and let her choose. I don't really think the decision has anything to do with me.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ruthla* 
I don't think it matters if a girl gets her first period at 8 or 15- if she's physically mature enough to menstruate she's probably physically mature enough to wear a tampon.

I do not agree with this whatsoever. I started my period at 14 and didn't feel comfortable wearing tampons until I was at least 25. I remember, before that, only wearing them when I absolutely had to (swimming and cheer) and hating it. TMI, but it felt weird to put something into my vagina.

While I wouldn't assist my daughter (crikey), I have already started talking about anatomy and menstruation. She knows about pretty much everything that has to do with her body, we're very open. If she asks about it, we talk about it. When I used my first tampon, my friend was standing in the bathtub (with the curtain closed) talking me through it because I was terrified. Oh Lord.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
I do not agree with this whatsoever. I started my period at 14 and didn't feel comfortable wearing tampons until I was at least 25. I remember, before that, only wearing them when I absolutely had to (swimming and cheer) and hating it. TMI, but it felt weird to put something into my vagina.

While I wouldn't assist my daughter (crikey), I have already started talking about anatomy and menstruation. She knows about pretty much everything that has to do with her body, we're very open. If she asks about it, we talk about it. When I used my first tampon, my friend was standing in the bathtub (with the curtain closed) talking me through it because I was terrified. Oh Lord.

sounds like a mental/emotional issue, not a *physical* issue, and Ruthla was speaking of the physical component.

Anyway, I started my period at 11 and was fine with tampons by 15 or 16.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *talk de jour* 
sounds like a mental/emotional issue, not a *physical* issue, and Ruthla was speaking of the physical component.

Anyway, I started my period at 11 and was fine with tampons by 15 or 16.

The first time, yes. Not after that. I had trouble, physically, wearing tampons until I was around that age too. I won't get into details.

But, DD could start her period now, I guess, as she'll be 10 soon. She just broke 50 lbs. No, I don't think a tampon would be a good choice, physically.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
The first time, yes. Not after that. I had trouble, physically, wearing tampons until I was around that age too. I won't get into details.

But, DD could start her period now, I guess, as she'll be 10 soon. She just broke 50 lbs. No, I don't think a tampon would be a good choice, physically.

Menstruation generally starts around 100 lbs.


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## harrietsmama (Dec 10, 2001)

I was pushed a little because I was a competitive swimmer. I had a few messy meets, but I figured out pretty quickly that the tampon wasn't as bad as the disasters I created trying to use pads in a pool or go without and hope things moved quickly enough to just get away with standing in the shower most of the time







It never occurred to me to ask my mom to help me get it in right. Thankfully my daughter and I have a much more open relaxed relationship about this stuff so I can help her through it all when she gets there. We've been collecting cloth pads. If she wants something internal, we can look at the options then - diva cup, sea sponge whatever. I personally never had success with the sponges though. every time I stood up the sponge got smooshed and leaked big time.


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## UptownZoo (May 11, 2003)

Huh. The whole issue just seems very weird to me. My daughter's body is her own and she can certainly choose her own products. When she got her first period, I gave her disposable pads, tampons, and all of my cloth pads (I'd had a hysterectomy a few months before.) so that she could choose what she wanted to use. By about her third period, she was ready to try tampons and hasn't used pads since, except that she wears cloth pads at night for backup. She's uber-modest and never would have dreamed of asking me to help her learn to use tampons, though I suppose if she'd asked I'd have been willing.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

I am sure that many girls cannot physically use tampons, right? The whole intact hymen thing?? Assisting a girl in using one could really hurt her if hers is still intact!

My dd knows all about tampons at age 8 but we haven't talked about what she's going to use yet. I assume pads. I'm certainly not going to push her. I started my period very late and by the end of the first period I was using tampons. I just read the instructions and got them to work after a couple of tries. But again, some girls probably cannot physically use them yet. My cousin couldn't, and she really wanted to.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marsupialmom* 
I have known more than one mom to new menestratin girl push tampon.

I have heard one mom say "Just were a damn tampon" yes she was frustrated but we had options and it was suggested.

I have heard and read mom's talk about assisting a less than happy child to wear a tampon. This girls aren't asking to wear them they are being told to. No sympathy for not being comfortable with them. That is why I am bothered with these situations and these mom's they are doing it with out the girls permission--like life stops because you won't use a tampon. Life might change but it doesn't stop.

I find that really weird - beyond weird. I have no words. I'm going to encourage dd to try a Diva cup or other reuseable internal method, but she can do what she likes.

I will say that I consider pads to be their own circle of hell. Aside from the c-section recovery, the worst thing about being post-partum is having to use external protection. I _hate_ pads.

I've used tampons since I was...13?, I think. I only used pads for my first few periods. However, if my mom had even _suggested_ "assisting" me with inserting a tampon, I'd have gone ape. If a girl is old enough to menstruate, she's certainly old enough to take care of her personal hygiene without mom's help! (Obviously, that excludes some kinds of special needs, and some serious injuries, but it definitely applies to the general population.)

So, to answer the question in your OP - I have _no_ idea.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 
About seven or eight years ago I was reading one those teen bop mags and in the section where the girls can write in and stuff one girl actually wrote in saying her mom made her wear tampons and actually put them in her and took them out. She hated it and asked if it constituted sexual abuse. I have to admit that I think it does, if the child doesn't want the help. If she asks for it, then it's a totally different situation.









:
I agree totally. I can't imagine how putting something up someone's vagina when they don't want it there wouldn't constitute sexual abuse. It's just so messed up.

Honestly...if dd really wants my assistance with a tampon when she's older, I'll do my best, but I would not be comfortable with it. I can't really imagine how I could physically help with that, anyway. IME, it's all about being able to feel what's going on inside.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *USAmma* 
I am sure that many girls cannot physically use tampons, right? The whole intact hymen thing??

I started using tampons at age 13. My hymen didn't break until I was 15. No problems (although I agree that someone _else_ trying to push a tampon in there could be painful).


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

I just bought an assortment, OBs, a couple of brands of applicator style in junior sizes, and had dsd read the directions a few times, then turned her loose.

She went though before she got the hang of it, but she hated pads so much she was determined to figure it out, and she only uses pads at night. (I actually used to know the woman who sued the Rely tampon folks way back when and I'm ultra-paranoid about using tampons for 8 hours)

So, after this success, we may give the diva cup a try after all.

I can't imagine having to physically 'help' her with any of these.


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## NikonMama (Jan 8, 2008)

I started my period when I was 13, and I used tampons from the very start. They were uncomfortable at first, but I wasn't using them correctly. Once I figured it out, though, they were fine. The only time I have ever used pads is when I sleep on the first one or two days, so when I leak it doesn't get on my sheets or ruin my clothes. I also wear a panty liner the first couple days for the same reason. I don't like wearing just a pad, though. It feels gross to me. I was forced to during surgery once and after I gave birth, and I absolutely HATED it.


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## mamalisa (Sep 24, 2002)

elephantine said:


> Yeah my mom was one of these, fanatic religious/conservative... how using a tampon is something dirty/sexual and not using them is "part of being a virgin".
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## angelcat (Feb 23, 2006)

With me and most of my firends, our moms dicouraged it. By about my 4th cycle, maybe sooner, I knew I HATED getting my period. So I insisted on trying tampons. I was scared, as my mom said they were hard to use, and her mom pushed her to, and had to help her with her first one. My Grandma has tried to get me to try them too. She had (and still has) an inaaproprite interest in me, so I refused to discuss it with her.

Anyhow, I tried them, only wated one, and thy are awesome. I really felt like they gave me my life back. I still often wore pads as backup, but would have been housebound for days every month without them. Back then, (now I feel old) they said NOT to wear them overnight. So at night, I wore huge pads, put down an old blanket over plastic, on my bed, wore plastic lined underwear, and still leked onto mu jammies and sheets. I was the happiest girl in all the land when they said they were fine for overnight.

I would absolutely encourage my girl to try tampons if she wants. NWIH would I physically help her, even if she asked. That's crossing a line. I was abolutely horrified at the thought of my mother helping me. My mom was shocked I managed on my own. Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, mom.


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## expecting-joy (Sep 15, 2007)

:


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## minkajane (Jun 5, 2005)

My mom was one of those that told me I couldn't use tampons. She said I would "bust my cherry" (MAN I hate that term) and my husband wouldn't believe I was a virgin on our wedding night.







She lied and said that she and bother her sisters were allergic to tampons, so we would be allergic too. I used pads until I was 16 and ordered a free sample from Tampax's website. I was in the flag corps and we wore spandex pants to competitions. Spandex pants and pads? No. Freaking. Way. So I used free samples for competitions until finally I said screw it and told her I'd been using them. She got over it.

My mom was totally weird about the whole period thing. I got my period when I was 13. All info I had came from Seventeen magazine and "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret". There were NO pads in the house because Mom had a hysterectomy a few years before. You'd think if you've got 12 and 13-year-old daughters who haven't had their periods, you might want to have some pads laying around, or at least give them some info. I used wads of toilet paper over pantyliners for a few days, washing out my panties several times a day and sometimes my pants. My mom ended up finding my wet panties, getting me out of bed in the middle of the night, taking me into the bathroom, closing the door, and asking in a whisper if I'd gotten my period. It was horrible and mortifying. Even then she gave me no info about my period, just (usually) bought pads, so long as I told her in a whisper when no men were home that I needed them. If we ran out, it was back to pantyliners and toilet paper until she remembered. I cannot imagine even asking my mom how to put in a tampon, much less actually having her put one in for me. *shudder* EW.


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## donnaworkingmomto4 (Oct 26, 2008)

WTH is wrong with these women? My mom was pretty bad but she at least always had pads in stock... she had a hysterectomy a few years ago, but still has a lot of pads b/c my 19 year old sister still lives at home. This is a great thread of mostly what *not* to do re: daughters and periods.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

minkajane, that's awful.


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## tiffani (May 17, 2002)

I'm hoping that the fact that my kids (son and daughter) would never let me use the bathroom alone and have witnessed me and my keeper on countless occasions will mean that they are both comfortable with menstruation -- I would absolutely help my dd if she asked for help, but I agree that you kind of need to feel what's going on inside -- so maybe I'd limit my help to observing and talking her through it if she needed help...

I don't see tampons as a way to "hide" your period, they're just a lot more comfortable and convenient, IMO. I LOVE my keeper, and really what it comes down to is what is most comfortable for each person and what fits into their lifestyle best. I started my period at 11, and my dad was taking me waterskiing later that day, so I started with tampons (after about an hour of reading the instructions) and never really wore pads, even though I had friends who told me tampons were gross -- that seemed to be the prevailing sentiment where I grew up, and I did wear pads a few times strictly because I didn't want to be thought of as slutty







.

do they make smaller keepers/diva cups? one of the ads on this page showed something called a 'mooncup' which looked like a silicon keeper, and the female holding it looked youngish... I'll investigate, but has anyone's youngish dd used an internal cup system with any success? I've always found pads uncomfortable, but will buy cloth pads for my dd if she wants them...


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

My mom "helped" me use my first tampoon. We talked about, went in the bathroom together, I inserted it and she was there and I think watched to make sure I did it right. It was not weird for me. I asked for the help. The first time my mom used a tampon she stuck it in her butt by mistake, which she also told me when I was learning to use them.

As per the "just wear a damn tampoon" comment in the locker room, I wasn't there, but I would assume there was a lot of complaing and whining about wanting to go swimming or the like and not wanting to wear a pad and the mom was like "FINE wear a damn tampon," or the kid was asking to wear one so they could go in teh pool etc "but so so uses tampons, and our health teacher said blah blah" and mom was frustrated and gave in. I feel like I don't have enough information aout that situation


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