# How should I handle tantrums after naps?



## rebeckyr

My DD is 2 1/2 - she has always been super crabby after napping, and frequently has full blown tantrums that last 30+ minutes. This can happen if her nap was cut short (for example DH picks her up from daycare and she fell asleep late) or even if she wakes up on her own. It happens probably half of the time. I thought maybe it was low blood sugar, but yesterday she had eaten right before her nap so I don't think that was it. She frequently skips naps, and then is pretty crabby in the evening but that is almost preferable to these awful tantrums.

Anyways yesterday she kept following us around, screaming at the top of her lungs, stomping her feet. She would run up to one of us and just start hitting. She slapped DH really hard 3 different times on his head (he is bald) and hit me a couple times, although not as hard. I just don't know what to do - if we put her in her room and ask her to calm down she runs and follows us, if we ignore her, she comes over and hits us, if we pick her up, she hits us. Please help! We don't really do time outs (sometimes we say why don't you go to your room and calm down, but she has no door to her room and usually comes right back out).


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## robinkate

My daughter - almost 2- doesn't wake up from naps easily either. So far no hitting, but she cries and wants to be held for a while. Usually I carry her around while we listen to music (getting hard now that she's so heavy), or we go outside to look at the flowers. I don't know if those activites would work for your daughter of course, but is there some soothing activity you could do after naps that would give her time to adjust? HTH!


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## Dragonfly

What would she do if you just held her, spoke softly to her, and snuggled her a bit? It could be that she's having bad dreams and doesn't know how to convey them. Or maybe she's waking up before her body is really ready to. How verbal is she? Would it work to help her find words for what she's feeling?

My ds was always a hard waker, too (until about 3.5, at least). What he usually needed was some quiet time where I would hold him.


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## mpeel

Does she need naps? My youngest has never been easy to wake. However, now that she is not taking naps, she is a much happier child, easier to put down at night and easier to get up in the morning. But, if she gets a nap, the rest of the day is shot. She is moody and uncooperative. This started shortly after 2 years old. By 3, she really did not need a daily nap but in pre-school here, they are required by law to have one. If she lays still that long, she sleeps and wakes up a bear. And, won't go to sleep that night. For a while after starting to skip naps, Samantha was also crabby in the evening. I just made sure bedtime was plenty early, even if it meant 6 pm. She'd usually sleep through to wake-up time in the morning (well, she'd be up at times during the night but that is not related to naps or not, if she is not touching me at night, she wakes up.) Eventually, it got to wear she was ok until "normal" bedtime and only crabby after that time.

Also, I can't nap and did not as a child either. I wake up feeling drugged and sluggish and sick, like with the flu. My oldest also out grew naps at 18 months old. She is ok if she does get one but just stopped taking them around that age. You could force her down but she'd be up late at night.

With my youngest, I just give her some TLC. She is feeling something that she may not be able to express or may not know what it is to express it. I validate her feelings and am there for her. It helps some. She is still grumpy but not overly so like she is if I am distracted or not able to be there for her like she needs me to be.


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## Piglet68

My DD does this every now and then. I've never been able to explain it. Sometimes she wakes up and she's just miserable, and it can seem to last for a long time. The best thing is to just hold her and snuggle....even if I have things I need to do, in the long run it's less time and besides, it's nice!


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## IdentityCrisisMama

DC is really cranky after naps ~ 90% of the time. The thing that really helped me was to just accept it similarly to the way you say that an adult is just cranky in the morning. I found that not trying to control her mood and respecting that she was cranky really cut down on aggression towards anyone in particular.


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## katallen

My daughter gets crabby after her naps if I don't cuddle her as long as she thinks I should and she will do annoying things to get my attention. We will sit together and play or read for a while after her nap and then she happily lets me go do something else.


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## polka hop

*


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## quaz

My 2 1/2 year old does the same thing.

We also just go with it, and attempt to soothe her. We keep her with us, b/c this isn't a normal tantrum.

In our case, what I think is happening... she is still tired. She is waking up, b/c it is getting late, but she still needs the sleep. She can't quite handle it, and breaks down. After 30 minutes, just like ya said, she is fine.

Tammy


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## OakBerry

My ds (3 in August) is very cranky waking up from afternoon naps. He also will fight the nap and fall asleep at 4pm, then be sooo cranky to wake up for supper. He doesn't hit, just doesn't want to be spoken to, carried anywhere, asked to do ANYTHING. He will cry if you even look at him funny. I have to sit next to him with my arm around him, snuggling quietly for about 20 minutes. Then he will start to come out of it and I can usually get him interested in a toy or a book, and he'll be fine after that. I always casually give him a cup of juice when we are snuggling, I think some of this behavior is related to low blood sugar (at least in his case).


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## captain optimism

Sometimes my ds does this, sometimes he wakes up happy. when he's grouchy and grumpy, I go snuggle him. If his blood sugar is low, he'll want to nurse, so I bring a book with me to read so I can sit still. I don't plan on getting anything done right after his nap because of this. If my dh is the one on duty when ds wakes up, ds will come out, select a CD, and ask to dance with Daddy. He snuggles up on dh's shoulder.

If she's at daycare for the nap, try to establish a leaving-daycare ritual that feels familiar.


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## Greensleeves

I just wanted to say, this happens sometimes here with our 2 year old as well. Even if she's eaten before hand, I also think it could be low blood sugar upon awakening. Or, maybe she was awakened before completing a sleep cycle. Anyway, you could say, 'Why don't we have something to eat? You may feel better after a snack.' This will give her a way to connect how she's feeling with how to possibly remedy it.

ETA also having a few snacks available or a snack tray already made up could facilitate this.


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## mamakay

My ds, almost 2, has done something similar, too.
I've wondered if it might be some milder "sleep terror" type thing....he just wakes up and cries like his heart is broken or he's scared, and sometimes he seems to get mad.
Weird.
I've found that pure mama-love is the best remedy, although even that doesn't necessarily "fix it".


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## SouthernMommaOf2

My dd was this way for several weeks and finally we decided not to ly her down for a nap anymore. It's been 3 days with no nap and she is a different little girl during the day!! Maybe she is getting too much sleep?? I talked to my pedi and they suggested taking her nap away. If she wants to rest or fall asleep during the day then let her but don't schedule a nap. My dd is 2.


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## barista

going outside is our saviour. My daughter is 17 months old, and is very vulnerable for about 10-15 minutes after she wakes up. It's just as if she feels afraid or alone when she wakes up, and I hold her and talk softly to her, then we go outside and the combination of fresh air and interesting things to look at have her back to her usual happy self within a couple of minutes.


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## findingMYway

Maybe some outside playtime right after naps? That always quiets my 2 year old and ceases any and all crying, screaming, and or general crabbiness. It works everytime like a charm. Some people are naturally crabby after just waking up. I think anyhow.


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