# Nickname for BIL - MIL does not approve!



## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

H received a call from his mother last night stating how much she disapproved of the nickname that my BIL and several of us have come to know and call him...it's nothing obscene, nothing offensive, nothing degrading, simply funny and out of the ordinary. My BIL doesn't want to be called Uncle and his name, he wants to be called "Uncle Dumba**".

It just really ticks off H and I that she cannot have fun with this. She's such a fuddy duddy to begin with that in some way it doesn't surprise me that she would react this way.
I'm sure that she's equally concerned about her son and her GC, but DS says it but he doesn't know what it means, per se and we explain to him that it's a funny name that we call him - it's nothing mean, nothing rude....just a joke.

Is she overreacting or are we in the wrong?


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## LavenderMae (Sep 20, 2002)

If he didn't want to be called that and you insisted on it then it would be mean but since he wants to be called that I think it's funny. But I have that kind of sense of humor.


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

LOL! Ok- I find it funny. I'm in a family where my FIL and his brother call eachother Bubba- sounds harmless right? WRONG- they started calling each other that because they knew they would end up in jail- so they got the names down early!

Our friends are named Grease! so Uncle Dumbas* isn't the worst. Plus it's all in good fun- so long as he comfortable. Could be an interesting conversation with your DS and an outsider though... "yeah, my uncle dumbas*- he's being so mean today" lol.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

I love funny things and consider myself to have a very good sense of humor, but to be honest the nickname is tacky to say the least, and it would really bother me. If my brother or any one of my dw's brothers suggested that nickname for themselves, I would say that I don't want my kids to think that calling someone a name like that is ever okay. I find it a rude and disrespectful term that I wouldn't want to normalize for my kids, and as a general rule I really find "dumb" almost as horrifying a thing to say as "retarded" (and as someone with two kids who have special needs, this hits home in a very personal way).


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## l_olive (Jan 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
H received a call from his mother last night stating how much she disapproved of the nickname that my BIL and several of us have come to know and call him...it's nothing obscene, nothing offensive, nothing degrading, simply funny and out of the ordinary. My BIL doesn't want to be called Uncle and his name, he wants to be called "Uncle Dumba**".

Well, honestly, it makes me laugh.

But, it might be a clue that you felt you had to put asterisks in it to be acceptable here on MDC that you realize others might indeed find it obscene, offensive and/or degrading.


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## holothuroidea (Mar 30, 2008)

Would you want someone calling your son that?

I mean, he can have his nick name if he wants it but I totally identify with your MIL here. It is not unreasonable to not want that to be a nickname for your son.

I never really considered myself much of a fuddy duddy but







.


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## Amylcd (Jun 16, 2005)

I don't find it funny at all ... (and i usually have a very crude sense of humor)


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

I think it's funny, but only among adults. if I were your MIL I would be disturbed by children saying that word all the time around me


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## hanno (Oct 4, 2006)

I thought at first it was actually Dumba! That would be non-sensical and totally fine/cute IMO. The real way? Not nice, or funny.


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## Ann-Marita (Sep 20, 2003)

I vote in the "not funny" column. I wouldn't want my child (or grandchild) to ever think it is OK to call someone that, even as a "joke".

How old is your BIL?


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## mama_mojo (Jun 5, 2005)

Do you really want your child calling anyone that? I mean, what if he starts calling friends that when the child is 3 or 4 yo? Most moms I know (and maybe they are all fuddy duddies) would not want their dc learning that word any earlier than they can help it.

I have a friend whose child uses this exact word and has since he was three and she has found it very embarrassing and difficult. It struck her as funny when he first used it at home, and then it stuck...


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *l_olive* 
Well, honestly, it makes me laugh.

But, it might be a clue that you felt you had to put asterisks in it to be acceptable here on MDC that you realize others might indeed find it obscene, offensive and/or degrading.

I do that when I'm explaining anything that has a word like that in it - it's more of a joke than an obscenity.


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## nalo (Oct 25, 2005)

Not cool IMO when there are kids involved to call someone this and think it's funny and okay. (And I am definately not a swearing prude!) - Just not good for the kids I don't think.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mama_mojo* 
Do you really want your child calling anyone that? I mean, what if he starts calling friends that when the child is 3 or 4 yo? Most moms I know (and maybe they are all fuddy duddies) would not want their dc learning that word any earlier than they can help it.

I have a friend whose child uses this exact word and has since he was three and she has found it very embarrassing and difficult. It struck her as funny when he first used it at home, and then it stuck...

Of course I don't that's why we have told DS that this name that we call his Uncle is merely a JOKE - this is not a reflection of who or what is Uncle is, it's a reflection of his Uncle's personality and sense of humor. BIL is 34.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Haven't read the other replies.

I can almost guarantee that having people call my adult child Uncle Dumbass would set me off as well. And your children call him this as well?

I'm with your mil all the way. I get that its funny for all of you but he's still her son and I for one, wouldn't like it.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
Of course I don't that's why we have told DS that this name that we call his Uncle is merely a JOKE - this is not a reflection of who or what is Uncle is, it's a reflection of his Uncle's personality and sense of humor. BIL is 34.

But how does that keep him from using the word freely? You have not instilled that it is an inappropriate word because you let him use it. Most kids have difficulties distinguishing "at home OK" from "everywhere OK."


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
Of course I don't that's why we have told DS that this name that we call his Uncle is merely a JOKE - this is not a reflection of who or what is Uncle is, it's a reflection of his Uncle's personality and sense of humor. BIL is 34.

So what happens when he calls a friend "Dumbass" and says its a joke when the kid gets upset?


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## zinemama (Feb 2, 2002)

Not funny. Totally tacky. Makes whoever says it (including your kid) sound like a crass frat boy. MIL may be a fuddy-duddy about other things, but I'm in her court on this one.

I don't understand your contention that it's neither offensive or degrading. Would you find it appropriate for others to call your son Dumb-ass?


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Wow - I had no idea that this would cause such a stir - it was merely to be meant as a joke, something that my BIL insisted on being called (he was trying to think outside the box and this is what he came up with)and nothing more. It is something that is kept within in the family. DS doesn't speak of anyone else besides H and I and his grandparents outside the home. He knows who is Uncle is - he also knows his *REAL* name!!

I really believe that this has been blown way out of proportion. I apologize for ever posting!


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

Yup, sorry, but its not funny and it is degrading and offensive.


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

Hey, many moons ago in one long ago relationship, we all called each other Fred. As in, "Hey, Fred, would you get me another beer?" It was just a running gag. Of course, Mrs. Never Became My MIL was always "The Boss".


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## Dabble (Jun 14, 2007)

Boy, I'm usually in the "boo to MIL" camp, but I'm with her on this one. I wouldn't want anyone calling my son "dumba**" even if it was his idea, and I would be horrified to hear my grandchildren calling him that.

So yes, I vote that it's offensive and he should come up with a different nickname.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

I just don't want everyone to think that I'm 'teaching' my child inappropriate words.....I guess we're a bit more laid back and casual about certain things than most families are. We are going to honor MIL's request to refrain from using the word.


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## Theia (Oct 30, 2007)

I don't think you should apologize for ever posting this. I can see both sides. But I think in the end, I would rather my dc not use a potentially offensive word to describe a loved one. Maybe when the dc is much older and is better able to understand the humor that the adults in the situation are enjoying.

Is there anyway you could shorten it to Uncle Dumba (I like it pronounced doomba)? I also first read the original post as saying that. I think that is much more out of the box than the full version. And, when the story comes up later in DC's life about how did Uncle Dumba come to be called this, it would probably be a nice family joke.

Ultimately it is your decision and I'm sure you'll be fine either way.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *peace_laughing* 
I don't think you should apologize for ever posting this. I can see both sides. But I think in the end, I would rather my dc not use a potentially offensive word to describe a loved one. Maybe when the dc is much older and is better able to understand the humor that the adults in the situation are enjoying.

Is there anyway you could shorten it to Uncle Dumba (I like it pronounced doomba)? I also first read the original post as saying that. I think that is much more out of the box than the full version. And, when the story comes up later in DC's life about how did Uncle Dumba come to be called this, it would probably be a nice family joke.

Ultimately it is your decision and I'm sure you'll be fine either way.









Thank you for coming up with an idead for an alternative name. I just felt like I was being bombarded with opinions instead of solutions - sure, opinions are what they are, but I felt like I was being attacked for posting this...... So thank you.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

Maybe you could use "Uncle Dumb-A" (as in dumb-ay) around the dc and the other out of earshot of dc and MIL? *shrug*

ETA: And I seriously didn't intend to attack, either. I'm sorry it came off that way.


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## 4evermom (Feb 3, 2005)

OK, my child is going to grow up to be your BIL. At 5 1/2, he insisted I call him "Jacka**", knowing it is rude to call other people that and deciding it was fine to call himself that since it didn't hurt his feelings. He likes to walk the line of social propriety sometimes







. Then, recently he said, jokingly, he wanted to change his name to "I am a Jacka**" so people would have to call themselves one when saying his name.









But, no, I wouldn't introduce the idea of calling someone something inappropriate to my child. It makes it hard to have playdates and the child will get in trouble if he says it in school. I assure you it's hard enough minimizing a child's inappropriate word usage in the best of situations. I talk politely and without cursing or insulting people and despite that, ds is just a doozy of a talker. I joke he is verbally gifted, specializing in insults.


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## sebandg'smama (Oct 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 

Is she overreacting or are we in the wrong?

You asked for people's opinions.

So, my 2 cents, use the nickname when your MIL isn't around.


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## jenners26 (Mar 16, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *4evermom* 







OK, my child is going to grow up to be your BIL. At 5 1/2, he insisted I call him "Jacka**", knowing it is rude to call other people that and deciding it was fine to call himself that since it didn't hurt his feelings. He likes to walk the line of social propriety sometimes







. Then, recently he said, jokingly, he wanted to change his name to "I am a Jacka**" so people would have to call themselves one when saying his name.









But, no, I wouldn't introduce the idea of calling someone something inappropriate to my child. It makes it hard to have playdates and the child will get in trouble if he says it in school. I assure you it's hard enough minimizing a child's inappropriate word usage in the best of situations. I talk politely and without cursing or insulting people and despite that, ds is just a doozy of a talker. I joke he is verbally gifted, specializing in insults.









LOL!!! That is the funniest thing ever!

OP, I guess I'm in the minority here...but I think it's pretty funny. We don't censor DS's language, but he is aware that there are words that are only appropriate at home. I don't think it's a big deal, and if your MIL doesn't like it, don't say it at her house, however, she doesn't make the rules at YOUR house.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

You asked for opinions about who is wrong, not creative solutions. You got some that you didn't like, but just remember you opened yourself up to it.

Unfortunately this is another one you're not going to like because it disagrees with you for the most part. I think your MIL should be calling your BIL on this. That said, it's fair for her to let you guys know that that name upsets her too. We'd never even use the word in MIL's presence, nor my kids, so it's a moot point. We don't really teach our kids to call people names, he's a year older than yours and while he's bright, I don't think he'd have the necessary filters to understand why it's not okay to call someone that.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
Thank you for coming up with an idead for an alternative name. I just felt like I was being bombarded with opinions instead of solutions - sure, opinions are what they are, but I felt like I was being attacked for posting this...... So thank you.









Didn't you ask for opinions? Sorry if you felt attacked, but you did post this.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Alyantavid* 
Didn't you ask for opinions? Sorry if you felt attacked, but you did post this.

To some degree, yes, you're right, I did. Maybe I should've asked for something more specific like alternative names....


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## Theia (Oct 30, 2007)

soccermama







Glad I could help.


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## Apple Girl (Nov 2, 2007)

DH's brother likes to be called "Uncle Stinky" by the kids. It started with a series of unfortunate poots, and the name just sort of stuck.


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## alexsam (May 10, 2005)

I also swear like a sailor but am against "naming" an uncle this, even as a joke (kids really don't get sarcasm or when to appropriately use names like this in private humor). The other thing that makes it a difficult choice is that it effectively limits the relationship (imagine your DC in the years to come.... "Uncle Dumbass, could you please help me with my homework?" "Oh, that's a picture of my family! Aunt Sally, Grandma, Uncle Dumbass..." It might sound funny at the moment, but an uncle is a relationship that can be very meaningful and a permanent silly/mildly offensive/insulting name can inhibit that over the long term).

It sounds like your DC is young... why not just leave the question open for a little bit? Maybe his name will come from a cute mispronunciation. Or maybe from a favorite activity? My BIL was called "Muncle" for a while (a strange combination of Uncle Michael that my 2 yr old neice gave him). If he's open to humor or a made up name, I'm sure something will strike you all that will be a bit easier for everyone to accept.


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## talk de jour (Apr 21, 2005)

BTW, one of my brothers is "Uncle Punk" to my oldest brother's sons.

He's been "Punk" since he was about 12... he's 30 now, and it's stuck.


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## ~Megan~ (Nov 7, 2002)

actually that is quite offensive to some people (not me but definitely my inlaws and parents wouldn't approve). However, if she has a problem then she should take it up with him, he's the one that asked for it.

We do have in our family, named by my niece, Uncle Poot and Uncle No. I think its cute.

ETA: The mere fact that you typed it out as dumb*** should have been enough to tell you that is offensive to some people.


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

i read a few replies, but not all.

We have a family friend who goes by "Uncle Edith" after a Woody Allen story by the same name and i just wanted to suggest that (or something like that) as a possible alternative to "Uncle Dumba**"

i hope kd doesn't mind going by "Uncle Dad" instead of his first name because i have always wanted an "Uncle Dad" in the family.


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## Kiddoson (Nov 19, 2001)

I am LOL at myself, I thought the nickname was uncle dumba! I would not want my LO to say that word. fun or not


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
Is she overreacting or are we in the wrong?

This is the exact question you asked in your post. And my answer basically amounted to, "she isn't overreacting, and you are in the wrong." I think you are in the wrong partly because I think "dumb" is similar to "retarded" and both are highly inappropriate. The a** part is actually not particularly offensive to me, though in this case it is indeed quite tacky and not something I'd personally want my kids saying. The fact that you haven't acknowledged the problem with the "dumb" aspect actually makes me feel like you are not really hearing the responses. I think it is hard to truly hear what others are saying when you are feeling defensive, which is maybe why you've responded the way you did. But you are asking for opinions, and I find it disheartening that you basically decided to write off every one but your own even though you did say you'd stop having your kid use the term since your MIL asked.

If you'd rather have solutions than opinions, than I would suggest that you go back to your BIL and say, "Hey, your mom is really offended about your nickname, and out of respect for her-- and because she does have a point-- we should probably stop using it. Let's think of something even funnier, but not so offensive." Sounds like BIL likes to joke around...I'm sure he's creative enough to come up with something else!


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## gillibean (Nov 28, 2006)

I think it's a cool idea for your BIL to have a nickname for your children that isn't his real name. However, I wouldn't want my children getting used to using that particular name regularly.

I had an uncle who went by his middle name. Everyone has always called him by his middle name. When my oldest sister was born he decided that he would be Uncle Chuck to us (his first name was Charles). I have always known him by Uncle Chuck and some of my good friends that I grew up with also know him as Uncle Chuck because that's what I always called him. Some of them didn't even realize that he went by a different name with most people. I feel like my siblings and I had a special connection with him because we were allowed to call him by a special name that not everyone else used.

So I vote in the 'have a cool nickname, just make it something I don't mind my children saying to their teacher' camp. I really like the 'Dumba' idea (which is what I thought it was at first).


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## St. Margaret (May 19, 2006)

In my circle, I would mind Uncle Dumb*ss because of the language factor. But my BIL insisted we have DD learn to call him Bad Dan (because some good friends of his already have a Uncle Dan for their baby, so they taught that baby to call him Bad Dan). He's totally tickled when DD calls him Bad Dan, and I don't mind. I think that it's funny, too.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sierra* 
This is the exact question you asked in your post. And my answer basically amounted to, "she isn't overreacting, and you are in the wrong." I think you are in the wrong partly because I think "dumb" is similar to "retarded" and both are highly inappropriate. The a** part is actually not particularly offensive to me, though in this case it is indeed quite tacky and not something I'd personally want my kids saying. The fact that you haven't acknowledged the problem with the "dumb" aspect actually makes me feel like you are not really hearing the responses. I think it is hard to truly hear what others are saying when you are feeling defensive, which is maybe why you've responded the way you did. But you are asking for opinions, and I find it disheartening that you basically decided to write off every one but your own even though you did say you'd stop having your kid use the term since your MIL asked.

If you'd rather have solutions than opinions, than I would suggest that you go back to your BIL and say, "Hey, your mom is really offended about your nickname, and out of respect for her-- and because she does have a point-- we should probably stop using it. Let's think of something even funnier, but not so offensive." Sounds like BIL likes to joke around...I'm sure he's creative enough to come up with something else!

Sierra - I listened and accepted everyone's opinions - I do have a right to express how I feel about everyone's responses because I felt like we were being viewed as bad parents - and it got to me.
I just had no idea that it would be viewed in such a manner that it has already.

A new name has already been put in place - one that is not offensive in ANY manner to any parties involved and something that is acceptable for DS to say as well.


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## MOMYS (Nov 5, 2008)

Soccermom, I honestly didn't get the feeling that people were thinking you are bad parents, just that they thought the name was offensive and could understand MIL being upset!

I would love, love, love to know what the new nickname is!


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

soccermom here is what i think. i think its funny. i think its great that all you guys are having fun. i would just not use it in front of MIL.

how old is your child? i dont think he will anyways be able to pronounce dumba$$ if he is really young. he might just be able to get out 'duma'. and the adults might like it enough in a sweet kinda way that that is what the name might become.

but i am also coming from a place where i think we make a huge deal over profanities. that is just my opinion. my dd says it. she said it as a little girl. i let it slide. her favourite was f**k as her father couldnt stop saying it. it was hilarious. but she also somehow knew certain words are not appropriate and wouldnt say it aloud in public when she was older. she said it for a few years and then outgrew it. and that is not just my child. some of her friends are still in the same boat. certain words they still use amongst themselves because they know their parents dont like them.

if everyone is saying dumba$$ and your child is told to say dumba i think that's a contradiction.

it actually reminds me of my teens. my bro and i had 'swear' nicknames for each other. we used it amongst friends and cousins. but not in front of my parents.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *soccermama* 
H received a call from his mother last night stating how much she disapproved of the nickname that my BIL and several of us have come to know and call him...it's nothing obscene, nothing offensive, nothing degrading, simply funny and out of the ordinary. My BIL doesn't want to be called Uncle and his name, he wants to be called "Uncle Dumba**".

Is she overreacting or are we in the wrong?

IMO this is iffy. If your kids are calling one uncle this what's to stop them from creating similar nicknames for others in the family. I think if you do it between you and not in front of kids it would be ok...but not at family gatherings where others have to listen to it. It is disrespectful and rude.

I don't usually agree with MILs...but she's right one this one.

EDIT: I see I'm weighing in late on this one....just my thoughts then.


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## SquishyBuggles (Dec 19, 2008)

I absolutely don't think you're bad parents for the name, but I don't think I would want my children using the word 'dumba**' on a regular basis. And I've got a crude sense of humor, too. I'd come up with something equally funny without the bad language!


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I'm also curious how old your BIL is and why his mother has any say in what he's called. Is he still a teenager or younger living at home?

I wouldn't want my kids to go around calling anybody "Uncle Dumbass" either, at least not as his "full time name"- to call him that in a joking around fashion, to his face, without any very little ones around would be OK- but, for example, to call his house and ask "Is Uncle Dumbass there?" wouldn't be appropriate.


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## Freefromitall (Sep 15, 2008)

If my adult child wants to be called something that is tacky, offensive and stupid, I would not be irritated with the people who went along with him on it.

I would however be irritated with my adult child.


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## Alison's Mom (May 3, 2007)

I vote in the 'it's OK for BIL's friends to call him that, but I wouldn't want my children calling *anyone* that, at least until they're adults.'


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Freefromitall* 
If my adult child wants to be called something that is tacky, offensive and stupid, I would not be irritated with the people who went along with him on it.

I would however be irritated with my adult child.









:


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## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *holothuroidea* 
Would you want someone calling your son that?

I mean, he can have his nick name if he wants it but I totally identify with your MIL here. It is not unreasonable to not want that to be a nickname for your son.

I never really considered myself much of a fuddy duddy but







.

I agree

Deanna


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## cicatrix (Nov 28, 2008)

My brother-in-law's nickname is boof, from boofy/boofhead - a fuzzier way of saying dumba**. He'll probably be uncle boof/boofy/boofles. Just as another option.

But in this situation, I'd be annoyed with MIL for not taking it up with BIL who was the one who started it.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

I think it's hilarious, but I can also see where some would be concerned or even offended.

And, of course, my FiL has never encouraged my kiddo to call him "dupa" instead of "Grandpa". Nope, not in this family. *shifty eyes*


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Chimpmandee* 
Boy, I'm usually in the "boo to MIL" camp, but I'm with her on this one. I wouldn't want anyone calling my son "dumba**" even if it was his idea, and I would be horrified to hear my grandchildren calling him that.

So yes, I vote that it's offensive and he should come up with a different nickname.

agreed. I would be horrified if my ds ever said that to anyone and i would be equally horrified that my bil would ask a child to call him that...


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

If I was the MIL I'd be more concerned as to why my adult child wants to be called this, I don't consider myself a fuddyduddy but I don't like it at all, however this is an issue your MIL should take up with your BIL and not you and your family.


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## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

The BIL is 34.


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## homebirthing (Nov 10, 2002)

I wouldn't want my kids cussing, but I can see adults calling him that when there are no kids around.


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## Zan&Zav (Nov 25, 2006)

i think its funny........but for as long i can remember i have had an uncle referred to as Drunkle Reg.


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## heamae (Nov 9, 2005)

My cousin's baby calls his uncle, Uncle Dude. He is only 16 months and not sure why, but he came up with it himself and I think thats really cute.


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## ecoteat (Mar 3, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jocelyndale* 
And, of course, my FiL has never encouraged my kiddo to call him "dupa" instead of "Grandpa". Nope, not in this family. *shifty eyes*











I think Uncle Dumbass id hilarious--among adults. But I agree that I wouldn't want to even give dd an opportunity to use that word in any other way. I'm curious, though; what is the other nickname your family came up with?


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

My BIL named himself "Uncle Goofybritches" when I was pregnant with DS1 and Uncle Goofybritches he remains. It gets some funny looks from people but then it's also not really in the same league as dumba** in the insult catagory either.

I'm glad your BIL found a different nickname that doesn't upset anyone in the family, soccermom.


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## jocelyndale (Aug 28, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 









I think Uncle Dumbass id hilarious--among adults. But I agree that I wouldn't want to even give dd an opportunity to use that word in any other way. I'm curious, though; what is the other nickname your family came up with?

Dupa is the Polish word for butt. It has some other nuances, but that's the basic gist. FiL really enjoys being called the Grand Dupa.


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## SweetPotato (Apr 29, 2006)

I've only read a few replies, but wanted to share my take on bad words/names/etc. I'm not a swearing prude at all (though I'm trying to be better since I don't want dd saying things that would reflect poorly on her even though it would be my fault- I don't want other kids ot not be allowed to play with herbecause of her potty mouth- kwim?) Anyway-- my first thought about a "bad" name is-- would I want my husband calling me that? Would I want my dd's future partner to call her that? I can promise you that if she marries a man someday and I EVER hear him call her a dumba**, I would be TICKED OFF. I'm all for joking around, but I do believe that we should treat the people we love with respect-- and that's just not a cute, fun, lovingly special and quirky name to me. I'd try to think of something else to call him.


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## mama2toomany (Oct 17, 2005)

My uncle is Uncle Mellow, its not his real name.. in fact i have no idea to this day what his real name is, no one uses it, not even his parents. I think I asked when I was a kid and my grandpa said "his name is Yellow, Mellow Yellow" I also have an Uncle Gator,

I personally find humor in your bil's chosen name, but wouldn't want my kids to say it lol, But if he got clever he could come up with an awesome name.


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jannah6* 
The BIL is 34.

IMO, that's kind of old to have such a juvenile nickname- but hey, it's his life, not mine.

And, at age 34, I really don't see why MIL should be asking other people "don't call my son that!"- she should have taken it up with BIL directly.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

I think it is interesting that people keep bringing up other nicknames for uncles. I have already posted. I have an uncle I call by an "Uncle ____" nickname too. It is something one of my sibs called him that one time when they momentarily forgot his name. It stuck. These days I have to stop to remember is real name...I've called him the nickname most of my life. But I think that's really beside the point. A lot of the nicknames folks have brought up here are a far, far cry from the name in the OP. Worlds apart really.


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## soccermama (Jul 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ecoteat* 









I think Uncle Dumbass id hilarious--among adults. But I agree that I wouldn't want to even give dd an opportunity to use that word in any other way. I'm curious, though; what is the other nickname your family came up with?

Uncle Rico - from Napolean Dynamite.







Actually, the name is sort of fitting for BIL, too. We love BIL. He's single, young, going back to school, works pt at a local bar, etc., Still a little immature for his age, so that's why he picked the original name. He really thought it was funny and so did we. There are times when he does act like the original name and it's fitting, but for the sake of peace in our family, we decided to change it and BIL likes the new name just as much as the first. And DS doesn't call him the original name...he actually calls him Uncle and his first name. Go figure!!


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## AGierald (Sep 5, 2007)

im not sure how this could be considering offensive or degrading when HES the one that came up with it?

But, i agree, if she doesnt like it, just dont use it around her. But Im not one to mind swearing, as we were taught, and so will my kids be taught, that swearing at home and not AT someone is okay, outside or to be mean is not okay.

ETA: we have all kinds of different "uncle" names in the family... i used to ve an Uncle Doofus, and i currently have an Uncle Gunk (no idea how that happened, lol) and the family calls my grandpa "Uncle Booger" lol... uncle dumba** would fit right in our family.


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## Kirsten (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AGierald* 
im not sure how this could be considering offensive or degrading when HES the one that came up with it?

Regardless of whether or not a 34 year old thinks that having a child call him that is funny, it isn't fair to the child to teach him that. I haven't yet seen how old the child is, but assuming he is not yet a teen, I think promoting the use of a word that would get him in hot water at school, at friends' houses, in public in general is asking for trouble. They think it is funny at home, but will a child really understand and follow through consistently about not using it out of the house?

And Uncle Punk/Dude/even boogar isn't the same thing as dumba$$ - which really has the double issue of the word dumb which is offensive to some, and a$$ which is cursing. Now to be fair, I am the world's biggest curse queen when in private without children or older generations around. LOVE it actually - my favorite vice. But I don't want my kids using it so I restrict to when I'm hanging out with adult friends.

I think the situation is quite a bit different if the child in question is 15 vs 5 though. But in general - regardless of age, I like Uncle Rico WORLDS better than the original plan.


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