# 9 month old waking 15 times a night. Help!



## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

When ds was a few months old he woke twice a night. I thought it would change to where he was 'sleeping though the night'. Instead he has woken progressively more often. Now it feels like he's awake more than he's asleep. Or at least I am. I can't continue this way. I had a client at work tell me my yawns were killing him. I was mortified. My hubby tries to help, but he has a fatigue problem as it is, and he ends up way more exhausted than me.

I'm not sure what to do because I want to nurse him at night... just not this much. He still doesn't eat solids, and I work during the week, so the nutrition and connection are important to me. I've tried sleeping wayyy on the other side of our queen bed (hubby sleeps in an adjoining room).

He is not teething
He is not sick

He has been waking every hour and a half, then hour, then half hour, then 15 minutes for about 3 weeks. Before that it was the same, but he started out with a two hour stretch. He has been waking more than 10 times a night for over a month and a half.

How can I continue to nurse him a few times a night, without having him wake so often? Co-sleep? Continue trying to have him sleep with daddy?

Thank you for any input.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Could you try comforting him back to sleep a few times without him nursing, and then maybe wean back the number of times a night he nurses without actually completely weaning him from night nursing?


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## Blue Dragonfly (Jun 19, 2005)

To expand on the pp's suggestion. Someone here (hopefully she'll post) said she took about a week where she knew she would get crap for sleep and everytime the baby woke, she would comfort without nursing for 5 minutes (I think), and every night extendd the time she didn't nurse.

My DS1 also did this, and I though I would lose my mind. Eventually (at 1 year) my H did this: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp which worked like a charm.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

Do you not already co-sleep? If not, I'd definitely try it. You can nurse him side-lying and both of you sleep. It's been a lifesaver for us.

And he could be going through a developmental stage (getting ready to master a new skill or something), or a growth spurt -- both of which affect sleep. But if it's one of those two things, it shouldn't last too long.


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## Barb36 (Mar 19, 2006)

Oh man do I feel your pain. My son is doing the same thing. He's 8 months and my story is very similar. He used to sleep well as a newborn and I thought this was a very good sign. Since about 4 months his sleep has been terrible. He was doing at least one 3 hour stretch and sometimes will do that still. Last night he was up every hour and when I'd pull away, he'd wake right up and fuss again. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

Someone suggested side-lying to nurse...I do that now but can't sleep that way. I do it so that I don't totally wake up and also because I'm too exhausted to get upright. I wish I could sleep that way...it would solve the problem.

I'm sorry that your dh can't help you out a bit....could he do one stretch of the night so that you could rest. Then he could go to the other room and sleep the rest of the night on his own. My dh walks the baby during some of the night wakings and it does help. I'm trying to figure out how many times I'm ok with nursing and then try to move in that direction with using other ways to soothe him when he wakes more frequently.

Good luck!


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## pdxmomazon (Oct 13, 2005)

Oh! I feel you pain! We went through the exact same thing. It was miserable









I don't have a solution to offer, though it was our daughter's frequent wakings (still) at 8.5 that finally got us co-sleeping part of the night. That helped lot. Also, we were and still are working with a homeopath on a constitutional remedy. If a doc gets it right, the constitutional can help a myriad of "problems."

Our daughter is just a year old and she STILL wakes at least once or twice each night, but usually three or four times. With her in the bed for the second half of the night, it' easier to comfort her and we don't feel as frazzled









Honestly, though, I think her starting to walk helped the most. It just tires her out more, so she sleeps more soundly.

Best of luck


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## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

I'm sorry I wasn't clear...

My baby and I have always slept in the same bed. By co-sleeping, I meant put him in the co-sleeper... which I now realize is the incorrect terminology. Sorry. I really don't want to put him in a seperate bed with sides up it... it feels like putting him in a crib, and I feel like cribs are a new invention that I'm not down with.

I already do side-lying nursing... that is how I'm able to survive at all.









I've tried not nursing, and he starts crying and wakes all the way up. Is your recommendation that I let him cry while I hold him for 5 minutes, and hope he starts getting the message? My concern is that I still want to nurse him some at night, so it might be confusing to him that sometimes his whimpers are met with a nipple, and sometimes they're not.

hmmm...


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## ndunn (Mar 22, 2006)

nak
i like this article

http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006...t_are_sle.html


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## granolalight (Nov 1, 2006)

I have read the book the No Cry Sleep Solution, and like her philosophies on handling sleep issues. Her methods have helped many parents and babies get into a good sleep groove while being respectful and sensitive to both parent and child. Maybe you would find it helpful?

Good luck.


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## Valian (Oct 16, 2005)

How does he do taking bottles while you're at work?

The pattern you describe is what my Ds did when I had a stint of work where I was gone long hours and he started reverse cycling so he was basically eating a lot at night, and waking up very, very often during the early morning hours so he could fill up before I left for the day. He also started with two hours, then one hour, then 30-45 min.

Since he was eating from the bottles I didn't make the connection right away that the nightwaking was to get in more nursing time and cut down on daytime feeding.

Anyhow, if this is what he's doing, then cutting down on night nursing is exactly the wrong idea. Instead, see if he'll take in more food or liquids during the day, by cup or sippy cup maybe. If you can encourage daytime intake, then you may see a difference in night waking.


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## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

He actually doesn't eat most times that he wakes. He just sucks lightly for a minute for comfort, then goes back to sleep. I'm happy to feed him 2 or 3 times a night, but waking to comfort him 15 times a night is just really taking a toll.

Thank you for the dr. jay gordon article. Perhaps that, combined with him walking soon, will do the trick. Till then I'll just grin and bear it, because his sleeping with daddy, sleeping on a separate mattress next to me, or being comforted by other means doesn't seem to be working...


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## sweedma (Jul 6, 2006)

These have all been great recommendations and I hope they help you all get more sleep! But if they don't, I just want to offer yet another reminder that this stage usually is SO temporary (we went through it around 9 months, and now at 12 months he generally wakes 2-3 times). If it turns out you just have to get through it, then maybe try not to count the times the baby wakes, not to look at the clock, and get all your comfy pillows around you to keep you in the side-lying position easily.

This just reminds me, the author of the No Cry Sleep Solution claims she was inspired to create her system because her 10-month-old woke so much. Lo and behold, he went through her system and then all of a sudden didn't wake as much. Well, maybe he just went through that phase on his own (as mine did) and she had nothing to do with it!

Now, obviously since you posted your question here you aren't all that interested in just "surrendering" to the current circumstances. And who am I to say you should. I guess I second one of the PPs that you might look at it as a "stage" rather than a "problem."


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## bugs (Jan 6, 2007)

You know it's funny...I am the mom of a 10 year old and a 7 1/2 month old. I'm currently having a very similar situation with the baby, and just like yours he slept great in the beginning and is now waking several times a night to nurse. Of course, I am beat and wish he would go longer, but I try to keep things in perspective. I honestly for the life of me cannot remember what the whole sleep situation was with my older son, only that I know he began sleeping with me because it was such an obvious solution to his night waking. I guess this is proof that "this too shall pass" is really true.


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## nighten (Oct 18, 2005)

My 9 month old has recently started doing this as wel, and I bought and am currently reading the No Cry Sleep Solution. It has some great tips in it and last night we started incorporating some. It helped! Instead of waking constantly, she only woke to nurse (started getting really fussy when I tried soothing her in other ways, so I knew she was needing to nurse and let her latch on) 4 times last night.

She's gone through this before, though, and I think it's a developmental stage plus she's teething. However, whether or not it's a temporary thing, the tips in the book I'm reading are helpful.

I really like the book so far because it's geared towards co-sleeping, breastfed babes, but is appropriate for many different situations. And it's bottom line is NEVER let them CIO, which is why I bought the book to begin with.

Anyway, hope things improve for you soon. Check out the book if you can -- it's got good info in it that might help you.

ETA: the main thing she's stressed thus far in the book (am only halfway through) is how if baby isn't napping well then she won't sleep as well at night. Are your wee one's naps going well? Or has anything changed there recently?


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## ipfree (Oct 4, 2006)

Thank you thank you Mommas! My 9 month old started doing the SAME thing. He was sleeping better and now I am going crazy with sleep deprivation. I wonder how long I can keep doing this. Your words of encouragement and things to try may save me.
He is walking now and that's probably one reason - new development.


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## michaelsmama (May 20, 2003)

Thanks for the info - our 12 m/o also wakes a lot to nurse, more so when he's teething. it;s not 15 times a night, but it's more than i'd like especially as i start back to work full time. i am a bit nervous though that his night nursing will increase again when i start to work...it will be his first time away from me for a whole day at a time. hmmm... the jay gordon article was interesting, though i'm not sure if i can do it as i start working again. any suggestions to at least keep him from increasing his night nursing when i go back (probably this month)?


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## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

To answer the napping question... he naps about 3 hours a day, usually split between two naps. Sometimes I feel like he naps better than he sleeps at night, perhaps because I'm not next to him?

I was given the Baby Whisperer by someone... I'm not really sold on it, though my dh is more so. She stresses strict schedules for eating and naps, and having the baby picked up and put down if s/he cries during the night. But I don't see how I can still nurse with her method, and don't want to put him in a crib... Hopefully the NCSS will work better.

Dr Jay Gordon's method is interesting, perhaps will try it when my ds is 1 years old.

It's just difficult to find a method when they are often about night weaning... I don't want to stop nursing at night, especially because I work... I just don't want to be waking up every 15 minutes for hours on end... and it has been a month and a half now, so doesn't feel very temporary... But I will hold on just a little longer









Nice to hear I'm not alone...


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## Eben'sMama (Jun 29, 2006)

I don't know if anyone knows anything about Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's Touchpoints model, but I have had the opportunity to study closely with him in my post-graduate fellowship and his model makes COMPLETE sense to me. The idea is that every developmental burst/spurt is preceded by a NORMAL and PREDICTABLE "regression" in the areas related to self-regulation (sleeping, eating, and/or being able to self-soothe), as the brain puts everything else (including previously mastered things like sleep) on the back burner and reorganizes itself, forming new synapses to master the new developmental task/skill. Since there's so much going on at nine months--teething, pulling onself up to standing and beginning to cruise, starting to say a few words, the mastery of the pincer grasp & self-feeding, etc., etc., it makes sense that 9 month olds have TONS of trouble sleeping.

Berry and his colleague Joshua Sparrow have also done extensive studies in their lab at Harvard that indicate that babies actually NEED light sleep to lay down motor memory--the ability to remember and master the gains that they make every day as they are practicing getting around. That's why you'll often find babes at this age sleeping in a semi-crawling position--on their knees, butt up in the air--they are almost "practicing" in their sleep.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that any parent who is interested in child development or struggling with these temporary "regressions" read Touchpoints. It's a quick, easy read, broken up by age/"touchpoint", it has helped me more than anything else to understand my son's development, and it's comforting to know that things like sleep problems are a normal and necessary part of development, and they will (AND DO!) pass. It's almost eerie, when you read the book, how spot-on he is about what's going on at each developmental level, not only in the child, but in the parent-child relationship and the parent's self-esteem as well. There are also great suggestions and strategies for surviving each Touchpoint.








Get the book. It will change your life.


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## QueenOfTheMeadow (Mar 25, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Eben'sMama* 
I don't know if anyone knows anything about Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's Touchpoints model, but I have had the opportunity to study closely with him in my post-graduate fellowship and his model makes COMPLETE sense to me. The idea is that every developmental burst/spurt is preceded by a NORMAL and PREDICTABLE "regression" in the areas related to self-regulation (sleeping, eating, and/or being able to self-soothe), as the brain puts everything else (including previously mastered things like sleep) on the back burner and reorganizes itself, forming new synapses to master the new developmental task/skill. Since there's so much going on at nine months--teething, pulling onself up to standing and beginning to cruise, starting to say a few words, the mastery of the pincer grasp & self-feeding, etc., etc., it makes sense that 9 month olds have TONS of trouble sleeping.

Berry and his colleague Joshua Sparrow have also done extensive studies in their lab at Harvard that indicate that babies actually NEED light sleep to lay down motor memory--the ability to remember and master the gains that they make every day as they are practicing getting around. That's why you'll often find babes at this age sleeping in a semi-crawling position--on their knees, butt up in the air--they are almost "practicing" in their sleep.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that any parent who is interested in child development or struggling with these temporary "regressions" read Touchpoints. It's a quick, easy read, broken up by age/"touchpoint", it has helped me more than anything else to understand my son's development, and it's comforting to know that things like sleep problems are a normal and necessary part of development, and they will (AND DO!) pass. It's almost eerie, when you read the book, how spot-on he is about what's going on at each developmental level, not only in the child, but in the parent-child relationship and the parent's self-esteem as well. There are also great suggestions and strategies for surviving each Touchpoint.








Get the book. It will change your life.









Wow! I never heard of this study before, but I have had to assure my sister that her baby hadn't forgotten something. She was just learning something new for the time being and it would just come back on its own. Glad to know I wasn't crazy!


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## LeslieB (Feb 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tessie* 
I may be off the mark here, but could hunger have something to do with it? Is he really not on any solids at all? I know breast milk supplies all the necessary nutrients, but a) it might not be quite enough for a growing child and b) learning to eat solids is essential for learning to talk. The muscles developed by chewing are necessary for speech.

I was actually thinking the same thing. Do you think he might be ready to have other foods?
Or maybe he's just going through a growth spurt. My 10 month old will do this when he's going through a growth spurt.


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## aisraeltax (Jul 2, 2005)

sounds like he has reverse cycled on you. what is his nutrition during the day?

i do agree it sounds like a growth spurt but if he isnt nursing during the day, he's doing all he can to nurse at night. my 1 yo does that when we are out and about during the day often...he is just too distracted to nurse when everything is going on around him.


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## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

hmmm... solids... he hasn't been interested, but two days ago he finally seemed a little more into it. i'm really at a loss as to what to feed him. i've heard rice cereal is bad, because it's mostly carbs and so is breast milk, so it causes their blood sugar levels to spike unheathily. i guess this is a question for a different forum...


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## ndunn (Mar 22, 2006)

Well breast milk is not bad and does not cause unhealthy spikes in blood sugar otherwise I don't think it would be as good for them as it is!

But rice cereal, yes.

There is a whole article on kellymom.com about how more solids and sleeping is a myth. I'll see if I can dig it up.


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## Lolafanana (Dec 29, 2005)

Alayna started out as one of those rare babies who slept through the night at 8 weeks on her own. Around 5 months, she began waking up twice a night. At 8 months, she was wking up 3-4 times and now at almost 11 months, she goes through nights (like tonight) when she is up every 30 minutes. She is not waking up because she is hungry since she doesn't actually eat, she just lightly sucks. And she eats loads during the day. For us, what I THINK is happening is that she wakes up with this "I wanna go back to sleep but I don't know how" kind of cry. She's not teething, not in pain, I just think she wakes up and can't go back on her own. We started doing one of 4 things throughout the night. We either try to rub her back while "sshhhhhhh"ing her. If that doesn't work (rarely does), we pick her up and bounce her on the exercise ball which usually puts her right back to sleep in an instant BUT if all else fails, I nurse her. We have noticed a pattern where if Dh puts her to bed and puts her back to sleep after the first time she wakes up (usually 45 minutes after she goes to bed), she sleeps for much longer stretches. On nights when Dh isn't around (like toniight) she is up much more frequently. I hope this passes soon. Its soooo hard having to work the next day like this. I feel you pain completely!


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## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

I really need to spend a minute to reread my posts... oops... I didn't mean that breast milk causes unhealthy blood sugar spikes (even though that's exactly what I said - ha!)... I meant it is full of carbs, so adding rice cereal to a diet of breast milk isn't the best idea, or so I've read.

It's so good to hear I'm not the only one going through this. Every night DH and I talk about what we should do, and every night we just can't decide and go back doing the same thing.

We are putting him to bed earlier, though. Without much effort... He has gone to sleep at 9:30p for the longest time, but tonight went down at 7:40p! We woke himat 7a instead of his usual 8a today. I don't know if that will help... especially since I'm missing part of his longest sleep stretch... but people seem to say an earlier bed time is healthier. I've also put him on a mattress next to mine so that his early morning thrashing doesn't bother me quite as long as usual.

Other than that, I can't figure out if I should nurse him to bed, not nurse him to bed, nurse him at night every time, not nurse him every time... etc. I'm just confused. I just want to do the best by him, and would rather suffer than have him suffer. But when he turns a year, I will probably try the Dr. Jay method. It seems to sit well with me.


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## Cherry Bomb! (May 18, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aisraeltax* 
sounds like he has reverse cycled on you. what is his nutrition during the day?


he has breast milk from a bottle during the day... he consumes everything I pump. I think he may be reverse cycling, but this is more than that. Only two or three times a night is he really eating... the rest are light sucks that last only a minute, but are enough to wake me and make me tired the next day.


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## Momtwice (Nov 21, 2001)

I've been exactly where you are and it DID end. She started crawling in the day and wouldn't stop to nurse. It was very tough but it was TEMPORARY.







s

And remember they say in sleep surveys at http://www.kellymom.com that only half of kids are sleeping through at 12 months.

Also a child who resists solids may be instinctively protecting herself from food allergies.


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## Owachi (Jan 15, 2007)

I know what you are going through Cherry Bomb....I have 9 month old twins......one won't sleep......he slept through the night 2-4 months every night then got his 4 month shots, had a fever all night and hasn't slept a night since....it has gotten worse and worse and he wakes almost every 20 min through the night...his Dr. said some babies just don't sleep but I know that isn't it. I've tried everything....checked his ears, got a baby cry no more which cost almost $200....it shakes the bed and only worked for a week....I changed him into 100% cotton PJ's, because some babies don't like polyester......nothing worked.....I actually found something on acid reflux and am going to pick up medicine tonight......he doesn't spit up at all and is growing fine but he has other symptoms.......one main one is trouble sleeping with frequent wakings....he also has frequent hiccups, drooling (which could also be caused by teething), always wanting to be held and wanting to nurse constantly...and he arches his back when we lay him down too........I am going to try the medicine first....I'll let you know how that goes......I also read about possibly going to a chiropractor-someone said maybe his back is misaligned.....I haven't been to one before and I don't know if I want my baby going but I'm willing to try anything........my husband works nights.....I'm tired but fine as long as the other one doesn't get up at night too


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## CajunMama (Jun 24, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Owachi* 
I know what you are going through Cherry Bomb....I have 9 month old twins......one won't sleep......he slept through the night 2-4 months every night then got his 4 month shots, had a fever all night and hasn't slept a night since....it has gotten worse and worse and he wakes almost every 20 min through the night...his Dr. said some babies just don't sleep but I know that isn't it. I've tried everything....checked his ears, got a baby cry no more which cost almost $200....it shakes the bed and only worked for a week....I changed him into 100% cotton PJ's, because some babies don't like polyester......nothing worked.....I actually found something on acid reflux and am going to pick up medicine tonight......he doesn't spit up at all and is growing fine but he has other symptoms.......one main one is trouble sleeping with frequent wakings....he also has frequent hiccups, drooling (which could also be caused by teething), always wanting to be held and wanting to nurse constantly...and he arches his back when we lay him down too........I am going to try the medicine first....I'll let you know how that goes......I also read about possibly going to a chiropractor-someone said maybe his back is misaligned.....I haven't been to one before and I don't know if I want my baby going but I'm willing to try anything........my husband works nights.....I'm tired but fine as long as the other one doesn't get up at night too

this sounds exactly like my 11mo twins. I am wiped







: between the 2 of them I'm nursing like 12 times a night.







: they sleep fine during the day- they are like jeckle and hyde.


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