# Looks like I'll lose this baby too [update #32]



## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

I went for a scan yesterday. It's not good.
The baby's heart rate is slower than it should be, and the baby is measuring small. Doc said another u/s on Friday or Mondy - depending on how I feel.
But he said that it is more the 95% chance that the baby won't make it.
I'm so pissed off. I should be sad, right? And I am. But mostly pissed.

I've been trying hard to be so positive about this pregnancy so far, and Mum and DP tell me now, I have to keep being positive, and have hope for that tiny, tiny chance. But is that just setting me up for a fall?
So much for rainbows.


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## Sonnet (Mar 4, 2009)

Oh, no. Your June baby too.









Hope always sets you up for a fall, really; sometimes it works out and you soar instead... and sometimes it doesn't. But if you know that you can prepare for the worst and truly invest in envisioning the best.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

Oh no, I'm so sorry.


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

keep us updated.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

s so sorry


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## MFuglei (Nov 7, 2002)

I'm sorry.

I don't know what to say. I was *HUGELY* pissed when we had our 2nd loss. It took me a few months to get over how angry I was. The first made me so sad, but the second, gosh, it felt like routine or something and I was so horrendously angry.

Still, I'm pulling for your wee one.


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## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

I'm so sorry.









When I found out about our second loss, I was angry too. Feel however you need to feel.

Our daughter's heartrate was really slow and they gave us a similar prognosis. Keep us posted.


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## tinynyota (Apr 13, 2009)

Oh no, Milk8!
This shouldn't be happening to you. I'm so sorry!!

But, like PP said, there is hope, and I think you can be f*cking pissed, and sad, and afraid, and still carry a little hope within you too.


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## InstinctiveMom (Jul 12, 2004)

Praying for good news next week.


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## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

I am sorry.


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## Mom to E and A (Jul 11, 2005)

(((hugs))) during this difficult time.
I can only imagine that anger is normal, i'd be po'd too.
hoping everything works out for the best, whatever that may be


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## enigo (Mar 11, 2009)

Oh Man! I felt the same way. How dare this happen to me...again!!
The first time I was sad and devastated. I don't even think I shed more than one tear this time. I was more pissed than anything. Now I feel like it's war. I will have a healthy baby damnit!


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)




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## Authentic_Mother (Feb 25, 2007)

I would be pissed too! Baby loss moms should get a free pass - no one should have to lose 2 in a row. I mean, MY GOD!
It's not fair when the hooker up the road that's addicted to crack and getting beaten by her pimp gets pregnant every time she goes out (very figurative - there is no hooker in my area that I know of! LOL!).

((HUGS)) MAMA.


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## KJoslyn78 (Jun 3, 2007)

(((hugs)))


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

Thinking of you..I am so sorry.


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## dbl_my_luv (Jun 16, 2005)




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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

I was so angry when I read the thread title I didn't even want to open the post. I am so so soooo sorry and angry for you. Not fair not fair notfairrrrrr!!!


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## christinespurlock (Oct 10, 2006)

hi,

my daughter who is now a healthy 15 month old had a really slow heart rate at 7 weeks. It was 60 beats per minute. I had another scan a few days later to find a normal hr at 120.

I was also given a grim prognosis. (this after 2 losses)

I hope you have the same luck I did with fiona.


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Well, I made it through the day at work - I even smiled when one of the nurses who had been talking about another staff member's baby said:
"it will be your turn soon". Not her fault, but #@$&!!!!

I'm going to have the scan Friday. I can't bear to wait any longer than that.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Authentic_Mother* 
It's not fair when the hooker up the road that's addicted to crack and getting beaten by her pimp gets pregnant every time she goes out
((HUGS)) MAMA.

Oh this is so how I feel! I compare myself and my circumstances to everyone.
_Why is 'soandso' pregnant/just had a baby??? She has no money/a drop kick husband/ doesn't look after her other kids/ complains about everything...._
I'm so glad I have MDC


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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I can *so* relate to the anger. I've have never been so angry as I have been this year after my miscarriage and my stillborn girlie. It's another facet of grief - being angry instead/as well as sad is still grief.

We'll have hope for the tiny chance, along with you. (((HUGS)))


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## Emerging butterfly (May 7, 2009)




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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)




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## MommytoB (Jan 18, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your 2nd loss and I can relate to he anger part of it . I was forced to lose my baby girl at 20 wks and 5 days a medically neccessary termination and then when I got pg again to end up losing that 2nd baby it was like how unfair it was how I was forced to go through something terrible then ended up losing a baby on it's own it like made me totally devastated . That was like around many years ago .


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## KeyToMamasHeart (May 1, 2009)

oh sweetie no! i'm hoping and praying for you, i'm so sorry you are going through this


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## fazer6 (Jan 26, 2009)

Oh no I am sorry. Anger is totally normal. We shouldn't go through this at all, let alone twice. While there's a chance, no matter how small, we'll keep everything crossed for you.


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## T~Kay~Higgins (Sep 27, 2009)

I'm praying for a miracle for you. Junebug still has a heartbeat. I'm really really pulling for him/her.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)




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## ladyjools (May 25, 2009)

((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
will be thinking about you and hoping for that chance no matter how small

Jools


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I'm hoping for a miracle for you. It is definitely OK to be angry. Sending love....


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## meredyth0315 (Aug 16, 2007)

Get angry mama, it's completely justified. I am holding out hope for you as well


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

It's over. My poor June Bug is gone.








No sign of anything happening though. Just a few random cramps. I always thought I would have a D&C in this circumstance - but now the thought terrifies me.
But not as much as the thought of not ever being a Mama...
And it's occurred to me that there's a chance that might happen.
I mean, I have had the whole RPL [normal] - so it all comes down to my spastic deformed uterus. There's no pill for that. Life's pretty unfair sometimes hey?


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## rsummer (Oct 27, 2006)

Yeah, life is pretty unfair. I am sorry for the loss of your june bug. I'll be thinking about you.


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## MiracleMama (Sep 1, 2003)

I'm so sorry....


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## expatmommy (Nov 7, 2006)

That just stinks. I'm sorry.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I'm so sorry.


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## teeg1973 (Oct 15, 2008)

So sorry


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## KJoslyn78 (Jun 3, 2007)

i am so very sorry (((HUGS)))


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## ladyjools (May 25, 2009)

was really sorry to see your sad update
you must be hurting really bad just now
whatever you decide to do i hope that you heal well

Jools


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## sew_crafty_girl (May 15, 2009)

I'm so sorry.


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I'm so sorry.


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Milk8shake* 
Life's pretty unfair sometimes hey?









You can say that again.









I'm so sorry, sweetie.







I wish I could give you a real


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

I'll say it again, life IS pretty unfair. I'm SO sorry for your loss.

huge huge hugs.


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## hippy mum (Aug 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## NWmt_mama (Jul 22, 2005)

I'm so very sorry. It is more than unfair. Take care of yourself.


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## Sonnet (Mar 4, 2009)




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## Fireflyforever (May 28, 2008)

I am so very sorry.


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## T~Kay~Higgins (Sep 27, 2009)

I'm so so sorry. You're in my thoughts.


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## MommaSomeday (Nov 29, 2006)

I am so, so sorry.







You're right - life is totally unfair sometimes. *hugs*


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## tinynyota (Apr 13, 2009)

I'm so sad for you today, Milk8


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## Bubblette (Apr 26, 2009)

I am so so sorry














it just isn't fair...








June Bug


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## beckyand3littlemonsters (Sep 16, 2006)

sorry for your loss


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## InstinctiveMom (Jul 12, 2004)

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you















JuneBug


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

June Bug. i'm so sorry!







dang it, i wish i could give you a real hug too.


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## onelilguysmommy (May 11, 2005)




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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)

I am so sorry mama..


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## KeyToMamasHeart (May 1, 2009)

i'm so sorry. i hate this news.


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