# Dad wants to breastfeed me at park!



## mother culture (Oct 19, 2004)

OH my I am still kinda reeling from it. I was at the neighborhood park with my 3 kids and was talking to this Dad who was there with his 2 adopted/foster kids. We had a nice conversation about kids and the area we live....somewhere in there I fed Canyon (16mos) No boob visible ( I am quite good at it after 6 years) . So about 10 min later he comes up to me and asks if I am mature of mind and how old I am, etc! Then He continues to say how erotic he found me breastfeeding and asks If I will let him try. I said I don't think so ! and again No! He seemed fine with that and I reasured him that I think it is a natural feeling but I am very surprised and shocked he actually asked. So I want to know, am I the only one this has happened to other that Me Myself and Irene..LOL! What would you have done or said....remember you would be in shock!


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## Boobiemama (Oct 2, 2002)

WHAT?? Let him try what? He wants to nurse off of you, or he wants to nurse your baby? Either way, what a whacko to approach a stranger at the park!


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## minicooper (May 7, 2003)

I'm sorry but ... ew


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## shell024 (May 21, 2005)

: too bad you didn't have the book "so THATS what they're for" on hand.









i probably would have been like...uh no!! and







OR...I would have given him THE LOOK







muwahahaha


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## Persephone (Apr 8, 2004)

How totally inappropriate!







And creepy!


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## TeaghansMama (Jul 1, 2005)

eeewww
i give you credit.. it sounds like you handled it far better than i would have
i would have shrieked, grabbed my kid and ran!! LOL


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## jenP (Aug 22, 2002)

I would have called the police. Or threatened to, anyway.

Jen


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## morebabies (Aug 31, 2005)

Ok, I tend to be a bit over cautious but that is totally creepy, scary, inappropriate, and wrong, wrong, wrong. It terrifies me that he has foster kids. Something is very wrong about him asking you if he could try. There are probably a ton of guys that may find breastfeeding erotic but wouldn't actually _say_ something out loud. The fact that he said something really bothers me. Like he was trying to make you uncomfortable or trying to get a reaction. What a jerk. Don't feel like you have to answer but - Were you at the park alone? Did you tell dh about the what happened? How did he react? I wish I were there with you because I would hate to have been confronted by a stranger like that alone.







You are a very collected person. I probably would have pepper sprayed him for saying that.


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## calicokatt (Mar 14, 2005)

Um...







Honey, you got yourself an admirer!


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## mother culture (Oct 19, 2004)

SO most of you are grossed out. I was alone but there were other people
in the park. I was on gaurd after that and he didn't bother me after except to say thanky and goodby. I feel kinda sorry for him he must be lonely and It seemed like a good provider but who knows I hope he is good to his kids!
My husband thinks it was strange and asked me how I felt. He would have defended me if he was there but I don't think he would have asked If he was there. He thinks it was dishonerable.... Crazy!


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## Tummy (Feb 24, 2005)

EWWW is right!

Now my question would be... if he is that much of a FREAK (if you will) and approach you, a woman he does not know, never met before, is with your children at the park, mind you he is with his (alleged) children... WHAT DOES HE DO TO THEM CHILDREN?!?!?!

Im sorry, but that is just a bit too weird. People who are that open to ask if they could suckle from the breast of a complete stranger, telling her how he finds it erotic, asking if she is of mature mind ect... ....
that is the kind of person who freaking kidnaps and rapes 7 yr old little girls and boys

IN MY OPINION that is the kind of person he is!

I would contact your local LEO and make a report of this behavior and perhaps look into your local pedaphile regristry. Just because he was at the park with children which he claimed to be his adoptive/foster children does not mean this was the truth.

That is really scarry!... he is a freak and I would worry about the safty of my children and self at this local park if he is around!


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## FuelJetA (Oct 7, 2004)

As a male I have a few comments...
1. If the guy asked you this (I really admire his courage or question his sanity, I'm not sure which) and then did not harrass you and did take no for an answer, I think you did the right thing. It was inappropriate but not worth calling the cops unless he persisted.

2. I personally don't find a mother breastfeeding to be an erotic sight, but many men have active imaginations and the fantasy about getting a taste of a hot mother's milk in the park may have just been too much... (it is not a bad fantasy and I think that he would be a supporter of a woman's right to nurse, for whatever reason, but still a supporter.)

3. From what you related, it did not sound like he wanted to 'nurse' if you will, right then and there...sounded like a proposition for sex to me.

4. Creepy, inappropriate and downright strange...I applaud you for handling it well.

Wow! The overreactions here! I can't believe it! Have any of you ever been propositioned for sex? Just no strings attached sex? I have, and so has DW and neither of us freak out or accuse anyone of any crimes. That is way too judgemental.
Perhaps this man is just an idiot. He could still be a good father, partner, provider, AND a creepy inappropriate propositioner. He took your decline well, and there was no threat and no further involvement, let it stop there.

That is all.


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## hopeland (Oct 15, 2005)

gives me the shivers...I would have run for the hills... :LOL


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## kalirush (Jun 14, 2005)

Jeez- the man shows an (admittedly creepy and inappropriate) erotic interest in an adult female and all of a sudden he must also kidnap and rape little girls?

Ummm....

No, I've never had anyone proposition me that way... I did flash boob at my friend's boyfriend tonight, though. I was nursing and laughingly pointed out my milk-squirting nipple (I have a fire-hose letdown) before I remembered that normal people have shyness about their breasts. :LOL

Julia


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## sistermama (May 6, 2003)

I would have been in total shock as well. I hope this doesn't stop you from breastfeeding in the park!


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## stafl (Jul 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *FuelJetA*
As a male I have a few comments...
1. If the guy asked you this (I really admire his courage or question his sanity, I'm not sure which) and then did not harrass you and did take no for an answer, I think you did the right thing. It was inappropriate but not worth calling the cops unless he persisted.

2. I personally don't find a mother breastfeeding to be an erotic sight, but many men have active imaginations and the fantasy about getting a taste of a hot mother's milk in the park may have just been too much... (it is not a bad fantasy and I think that he would be a supporter of a woman's right to nurse, for whatever reason, but still a supporter.)

3. From what you related, it did not sound like he wanted to 'nurse' if you will, right then and there...sounded like a proposition for sex to me.

4. Creepy, inappropriate and downright strange...I applaud you for handling it well.

Wow! The overreactions here! I can't believe it! Have any of you ever been propositioned for sex? Just no strings attached sex? I have, and so has DW and neither of us freak out or accuse anyone of any crimes. That is way too judgemental.
Perhaps this man is just an idiot. He could still be a good father, partner, provider, AND a creepy inappropriate propositioner. He took your decline well, and there was no threat and no further involvement, let it stop there.

That is all.









:
except I'm female.
I would have thought it quite funny, and inappropriate, but probably wouldn't be so bothered by it myself. Would you feel the same way if it had been your DH that asked to taste your milk? Maybe this guy really felt some sort of connection with you that he was able to share this fantasy?


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## morebabies (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Tummy*
I would contact your local LEO and make a report of this behavior and perhaps look into your local pedaphile regristry. Just because he was at the park with children which he claimed to be his adoptive/foster children does not mean this was the truth.

Not a bad idea!
I don't think I'm over reacting or being judgmental at all. When he was allegedly propositioning you for sex did he notice your children? Or perhaps a wedding ring? MotherCulture - you will never regret being to careful.


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## velcromom (Sep 23, 2003)

I'd take that as a come-on from a fetishist, definitely.

What's creepy is not that he wanted to so much but that he wanted to soo soo badly he came up to a stranger in a public place and propositioned them. That part is the yucky part, IMO. I mean, some hubbys of lactating mamas have been known to be curious too.... lol. That in itself does not present to me as gross. It's approaching a stranger asking them to participate in your intense need to fulfill your fetishist desires... in a neutral public space... that's what would bother me.

I don't think it meant he was dangerous necessarily, but the fact that his desires are getting in the way of his judgement of where boundaries are with total strangers, makes me worry that he might misread or completely ignore other boundaries... so I'd have been polite but cautious too... in fact I probably would have left the park, even though he took your rejection politely.


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## CathToria (Sep 6, 2003)

I agree that it is really odd.. and my instincts tell me to lean more toward the "call the cops" argument instead of the "he was propositioning you" argument... JMO though, I think it is really odd ;


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## morebabies (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velcromom*
I'd take that as a come-on from a fetishist, definitely.

What's creepy is not that he wanted to so much but that he wanted to soo soo badly he came up to a stranger in a public place and propositioned them. That part is the yucky part, IMO. I mean, some hubbys of lactating mamas have been known to be curious too.... lol. That in itself does not present to me as gross. It's approaching a stranger asking them to participate in your intense need to fulfill your fetishist desires... in a neutral public space... that's what would bother me.

I don't think it meant he was dangerous necessarily, but the fact that his desires are getting in the way of his judgement of where boundaries are with total strangers, makes me worry that he might misread or completely ignore other boundaries... so I'd have been polite but cautious too... in fact I probably would have left the park, even though he took your rejection politely.

Very well said.


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## nonconformnmom (May 24, 2005)

Did he smell of alcohol? :LOL


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## momof3sweeties (Oct 16, 2005)

stafl said:


> :. Would you feel the same way if it had been your DH that asked to taste your milk? QUOTE]
> 
> WHo's DH HASN"T asked??? :LOL (Plus it can be fun!
> 
> ...


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## paquerette (Oct 16, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *morebabies*
When he was allegedly propositioning you for sex did he notice your children? Or perhaps a wedding ring?

Man, I hope the existence of children and a wedding ring doesn't stop guys from ever hitting on me again.









I think one would have to be there and use instinct as to whether it's "call the police" inappropriate or "ew, no thanks" inappropriate. Either way, inappropriate.







:


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## mother culture (Oct 19, 2004)

All of your coments are well recieved..thank you! I wanted to thank FuelJet A for offering a mans perspective ( I always forget that there are men lurking here) LOL!
I am not one to call the police for anything so far...most of them make me feel creeped out. But I don't think I will be going back there again. And yes I do think It was a proposition for sex and I don't wear a ring but am married and he never asked if I was. It does make me feel more powerful and aware that my breastfeeding could provoke someone to act out of line. I have been waiting for someont to coment to me how inapropriate breatsfeeding in public is, so I could give them a peice of my mind for all breastfeeding mamas but this was not what I expected!









Any way... If he were some one I was attracted to or Brad Pit who knows what kind of a play date we would have made?

Honestly now that it is over and I have had time to think about it, it was a very bold move that you would only see in the movies. Just goes to show you that Men have fetishes and do veiw breast 's as double functioning, erotic, and obviously not off limits when lactating!

He did say that he paid out thousands of $ in diapers and formula for his 2 boys and families of low incomes are at a huge benifit to use cloth diapers and
nurse their babies. SO he at least shared my veiws there


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## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

That's ultra-creepy and I am sorry you won't feel comfortable going there anymore.


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## beansavi (Jun 26, 2005)

My husband says, "Yeah, he's a tough guy when there's no one else around..."

That has been our experience: Those who act all freaky and violate others are the biggest wusses on the planet in reality.


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## jenP (Aug 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velcromom*
I'd take that as a come-on from a fetishist, definitely.

What's creepy is not that he wanted to so much but that he wanted to soo soo badly he came up to a stranger in a public place and propositioned them. That part is the yucky part, IMO. I mean, some hubbys of lactating mamas have been known to be curious too.... lol. That in itself does not present to me as gross. It's approaching a stranger asking them to participate in your intense need to fulfill your fetishist desires... in a neutral public space... that's what would bother me.

I don't think it meant he was dangerous necessarily, but the fact that his desires are getting in the way of his judgement of where boundaries are with total strangers, makes me worry that he might misread or completely ignore other boundaries... so I'd have been polite but cautious too... in fact I probably would have left the park, even though he took your rejection politely.


Yep. To me, this has NOTHING to do with breastfeeding. Let's pretend for a moment it was a different situation. How about, you were eating a banana and he told you how erotic it was watching you do that and would you please fellate him like that? Or, how about if you were bottlefeeding a baby and he said how erotic it was the way you held the bottle in your hand, would you please hold his member in your hand like that?
Yes, he was propositioning you for sex (or what HE saw as a sexual act, anyway.) And it is NOT appropriate to proposition strangers at the park for sex. Especially since it set it up to where now you are feeling too intimidated to go to that park again. What he did was wrong, wrong, wrong! You are in NO way at fault for breastfeeding in front of him! That is NOT an invitation for a come-on!

Jen


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## ToniaStarr (Sep 27, 2005)

sounds to me he was turned on by the nursing thing. and was probably more propositioning you for sex. Look, its not THAT unheard of, ever been in an adult video store? They actually make videos with naked ladies on the covers with milk shooting out so it MUST be a thing for some men. Was it insanly innappropriate for him to walk up and say it like that, especially at a park with kids around....heck yeah. But if he left it alone after that then not a big deal. I myself have had some idiots say crap to me. Like, ask me out and when I say no I am married he said "what you never cheat on him?" Some people are just THAT dumb.
Tonia


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## Lizzo (Jul 26, 2005)

Well...no one asked : was he at LEAST hott???















I'm so sorry!! I am kidding! But...c'mon if it were like...oh I dunno...Johnny Depp...








I'm kidding... Serously though,that was weird. I'd feel weird and umcomfortable. But I think you handled that really well.
BUT...I have never said no when DP wants to....
Anywho...


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

I think it's highly creepy not because he thought the thought, but because he voiced it. Hello self-control??? Blech.


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Periwinkle*
I think it's highly creepy not because he thought the thought, but because he voiced it. Hello self-control??? Blech.

Yeah, that guy has read one too many Letters to Penthouse.... What a freak.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Um, I'm not very uptight, but if I were nursing my child in a park and a man asked me if he could nurse, I would feel seriously freaked out. That's HIGHLY inappropriate, and I would worry for my safety to be honest. And my kid's.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Ok and another thing... can you flipping imagine walking up to a guy you were chatting with at the park -- about your kids no less -- and suddenly saying, hey, I can't help but be turned on by that nice package I see there in your jeans, would it be cool you indulged my fantasy of servicing perfect strangers and let me at you right here on the park bench?









I'm now thinking this guy is a total creep. And bold too!


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## celrae (May 3, 2005)

The ? was asked if this has ever happened to anyone here. Well, a good friend of mine was also propositioned at the park because she was BF. At least she was with a few other people so she felt a little safer but, it was still very creepy.


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## peacefulmom (Jul 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *calicokatt*
Um...







Honey, you got yourself an admirer!

sounds like your boobs have an admirer.....I think I may have told him to go suck himself..........thats so not right....you could have said this is not mommies gone wild...what a creep


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## bethwl (May 10, 2003)

I think that getting turned on by seeing a woman nurse is probably more common that many people are willing to admit, but asking a stranger to help indulge his sexual fantasy is completely creepy and inappropriate and I would have been extremely uncomfortable in your situation (and left the park immediately).

But if you see him again and must talk, tell him to get himself some "lactation porn" (it exists, with titles like "Jersey Milk Maids" and "Dairy Queens"--read about it in Fiona Giles' book Fresh Milk) and service himself at home.


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## BennyPai (Jul 22, 2005)

This guy definitely needs to learn about BOUNDARIES! I have been in situations like this, and always think of better responses later







.

*Sometimes, people are just idiots and you really can laugh it off "My life is such a sitcom," etc... However, you just never know what people are capable of, and it's better to be safe...I've had to make myself an advanced plan for creepy moments because they always catch me off-guard.*


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velcromom*
I'd take that as a come-on from a fetishist, definitely.

What's creepy is not that he wanted to so much but that he wanted to soo soo badly he came up to a stranger in a public place and propositioned them. That part is the yucky part, IMO.It's approaching a stranger asking them to participate in your intense need to fulfill your fetishist desires... in a neutral public space... that's what would bother me.

the fact that his desires are getting in the way of his judgement of where boundaries are with total strangers, makes me worry that he might misread or completely ignore other boundaries...

absolutely.

i've had more than a nodding acquaintance with many fetishists. a guy having 'interesting' desires doesn't weird me out in the least. what makes my radar bleep, jetfuel, is that this guy has no clue about social boundaries. this is not 'hitting on' someone; this is a signal to get away, quickly.

(hitting on someone, is the manager of my international mkt telling me i have 'pretty eyes' & giving me his card- and bless his heart, when i pointed out my 19 yr old dd- he looked about 24- saying, 'yeah, she's cute, but-' & smiling. i've had a bounce in my step for days







)

the park with your kids is not the time to tell a strange woman you want to taste her milk. sorry that has to be pointed out, but things that are obvious to a woman apparently may not be so to a man!

how many weird vibes did 'jett' duncan give out, traveling with poor shasta & dylan groene, perhaps telling people he was their 'foster dad', before he was apprehended?







god (nature, whomever) gives us those instincts for a reason. the situation screams 'predator' at worst to me, at best, someone absolutely unfit to foster kids- social boundaries exist for a reason.

i know of at least one man imprisoned for molesting a child, not because he is a pedophile, not because he gets off on hurting or scaring people smaller than himselves, but because he just does not 'get' the idea of limits and had the opportunity. there are plenty of people with lousy impulse control re: sex that would never 'hurt' or 'force' a child intentionally, but must be kept away from children regardless. park guy sounds like bad news. i think most sane fetishists would agree.

susan


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## kalisis (Jan 10, 2005)

wow...weird and strange, for sure. It sounds like you handled yourself very well though and you deserve kudos for that.

I'd just keep my eye out for him on subsequent trips tho. Just for my own peace of mind, I'd want to know where he was if we were in the same public place again.


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## ZeldasMom (Sep 25, 2004)

We spend lots of time at the park 5 minutes from our house and I breasatfeed there practically every day. I would not find this guy's behavior acceptable and would let him know. If this happened at our neighborhood park I would probably mention it at the next neighborhood association meeting and at the next LLL meeting. I would also probably give the police a head's up.


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## ~member~ (May 23, 2002)

Wow. The answers are....I don't know.
Maybe it's me. I have been asked many times. Men have asked for me to come over and put it in their cereal, coffee, and mac n cheese.
I have had a few ask if they could nurse or have some milk.
One guy asked if breastmilk was good as a hairspray/gel....he had one of those mohawk things with spikes.
I always just laugh, stand up with my baby and walk away. Never felt like I needed to call the police. I was never followed or harrassed by any of them.









I always just chalked it up to the same as a proposition for sex or them being shocked and not knowing what to say, so something stupid comes out of their mouths.


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## Junebug (Mar 31, 2005)

I had some random guy come up to me at the beach while I was BFing & say, with this really unsettling smile, "you will never be more feminine than you are right now"







.
Like, ewwwww!!!
I guess he could have been paying me a compliment but I was soooo creeped out.
If he had the audacity to ask me to nurse I think I'd have gone absolutely medieval on his ass!








That is icky, inappropriate and just WRONG!


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaInTheBoonies*
I always just chalked it up to the same as a proposition for sex

Um, well... yeah! That would be what it is. Which is kinda annoying, when you're feeding your child, and you and the man had just been chatting innocently about your kids. Yuck yuck yuck.


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## candiland (Jan 27, 2002)

Was he hot?


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## spero (Apr 22, 2003)

I'd be seriously squicked out by such a bold proposition. I agree w/the PPs who said, It's perfectly OK to have fantasies but it's not OK to ask complete strangers to indulge them! Ew!


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## jenP (Aug 22, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ZeldasMom*
We spend lots of time at the park 5 minutes from our house and I breasatfeed there practically every day. I would not find this guy's behavior acceptable and would let him know. If this happened at our neighborhood park I would probably mention it at the next neighborhood association meeting and at the next LLL meeting. I would also probably give the police a head's up.

Yup. I don't think it is overreacting. Lots of women breastfeed at parks. You may not be the first or the last he's approached trying to get his sexual fantasies indulged. Having someone hanging around the park approaching women and asking for sexual favors makes the park a hostile environment.

Jen


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother culture*
All of your coments are well recieved..thank you! I wanted to thank FuelJet A for offering a mans perspective ( I always forget that there are men lurking here) LOL!
I am not one to call the police for anything so far...most of them make me feel creeped out. But I don't think I will be going back there again. And yes I do think It was a proposition for sex and I don't wear a ring but am married and he never asked if I was. It does make me feel more powerful and aware that my breastfeeding could provoke someone to act out of line. I have been waiting for someont to coment to me how inapropriate breatsfeeding in public is, so I could give them a peice of my mind for all breastfeeding mamas but this was not what I expected!









Any way... If he were some one I was attracted to or Brad Pit who knows what kind of a play date we would have made?

Honestly now that it is over and I have had time to think about it, it was a very bold move that you would only see in the movies. Just goes to show you that Men have fetishes and do veiw breast 's as double functioning, erotic, and obviously not off limits when lactating!

He did say that he paid out thousands of $ in diapers and formula for his 2 boys and families of low incomes are at a huge benifit to use cloth diapers and
nurse their babies. SO he at least shared my veiws there









Go back to the park. Bring a friend with a cell phone. If he comes by again, or even shows up and stares at you, tell him that he needs to let you nurse in peace or you will call the police.

Unless, of course, this is a park you wouldn't go to often anyway, but don't let him drive you out of the park.

Acting like a pervert could actually be his sick way of getting you to not NIP.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

I told dh about this thread last night at dinner - it's been seriously bugging me the more I think about it. A little background - dh could be called a reluctant AP dad... he's on board and is supportive of me/our choices, but hardly singing the praises of AP from the mountaintops to others if that makes sense. He is also a, um, "breast man" lol... he loves em.







Anyway, I told him the story and he was completely disgusted and his voice actually raised a little (love it when men get their hackles up) and was like, if anyone ever said something like that to you while you were nursing our son I'd kill him. So yeah, testosterone melodrama notwithstanding, he was horrified and angry, and thought the guy was a serious threat, not just something to brush off. He too was amazed someone would actually SAY it and worried about what would have happened if you'd been alone.


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## TigerTail (Dec 22, 2002)

if it was a coworker or someone i knew joking about putting some in his mac and cheese, i would laugh it off. that is a totally different vibe than park guy. the terminology he used raised my hackle fur.

'protecting the gift'. cannot recommend this book enough.

susan


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## jayayenay (Sep 28, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *suseyblue*
'protecting the gift'. cannot recommend this book enough.









: The author is Gavin De Becker. Every parent should read it.


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

Periwinkle - My DH had the same reaction. He would probably run down to the park himself and look for the guy.


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## CryPixie83 (Jan 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mother culture*
OH my I am still kinda reeling from it. I was at the neighborhood park with my 3 kids and was talking to this Dad who was there with his 2 adopted/foster kids. We had a nice conversation about kids and the area we live....somewhere in there I fed Canyon (16mos) No boob visible ( I am quite good at it after 6 years) . So about 10 min later he comes up to me and asks if I am mature of mind and how old I am, etc! Then He continues to say how erotic he found me breastfeeding and asks If I will let him try. I said I don't think so ! and again No! He seemed fine with that and I reasured him that I think it is a natural feeling but I am very surprised and shocked he actually asked. So I want to know, am I the only one this has happened to other that Me Myself and Irene..LOL! What would you have done or said....remember you would be in shock!









I've had men ask me this before, several times, BUT I'm an adult model who advertises lactation (I"m a webcam girl), so I expect it. It's actually a pretty popular fetish. However, if someone were to approach me at the park I would definately be shocked to say the least. If he was polite, I wouldn't make too much of it.


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## ~Nikki~ (Aug 4, 2004)

Hmm, I'm reluctant to post on this thread, heh. But after mentioning it to DH last night (and following up with how shocked I was that so many people thought it was totally cool for the stranger at the park to do that), I'll put in our 2 cents. When I read the OP, my first thought was "Wow, that's sexual harassment." Yes, breasts are for food. But as we all know, they're multi-purpose. So to have a complete stranger come up and ask to suck on them is just.....ugh. I probably _wouldn't_ have called the police for a single occurance. But what that man did was wrong. Creepy, and wrong.

When I talked to DH about it, he said that he would never in a million years even _consider_ asking a lactating women, a total stranger, if he could sample her goods. No matter how curious he was. That's crossing a line. If I had a foot fetish, and I saw some hot guy at the park in a sexy pair of sandles, I wouldn't go up and ask him if I could suck on his toe.


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## Mamma Mia (Aug 3, 2005)

Ew. Creepy.


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## frannyfresh (May 21, 2005)

Sounds pretty creepy. It brings to mind all the very weird experiences I have had growing up in a big City. All kinds of perverts out there. I am afraid to nurse in public becasue I have seen way too many a strangers p***s. In all too many scenerios. Just minding my own business.
KUdos to you all who NIP.


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## CryPixie83 (Jan 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *~Nikki~*
So to have a complete stranger come up and ask to suck on them is just.....ugh. I probably _wouldn't_ have called the police for a single occurance. But what that man did was wrong. Creepy, and wrong.

When I talked to DH about it, he said that he would never in a million years even _consider_ asking a lactating women, a total stranger, if he could sample her goods. No matter how curious he was. That's crossing a line. If I had a foot fetish, and I saw some hot guy at the park in a sexy pair of sandles, I wouldn't go up and ask him if I could suck on his toe. 

I definately agree that he was waaaaay out of line. I would never have the nerve to walk up to someone and ask something like that, it's completely uncalled for.


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## melissa_honeybee (May 20, 2005)

Ewww. I get annoyed when I think a guy is looking at me too long. If someone said that to me I'd flip.


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## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

Disgusting and invasive.

Predator alert!

It is not at all unreasonable to assume in a culture and world like ours that men have less than honorable/kind intentions toward us. If the original poster is ever approached by this person again, I suggest calling the authorities.

I'm more than a little disturbed that there are children in this man's care as well. If it were me in this situation, I might attempt a covert op to determine beyond a doubt whether or not this man is what he's advertised himself to be: a deviant.

Sorry you were subjected to that. I'd have felt totally violated.

Edited to add: Whoops, necro!


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## Unoppressed MAMA Q (Jun 13, 2004)

i would have asked him what he was willing to pony up in regards to $$$$.

i would have to arrange with my husband a time to keep the kids, as they don't need to see that.

and i would need a shower afterward.

c'mon mamas, millions of sister women the world over are dealing with way more fucked up desires than this! i assume maybe those who are so disgusted have had the priviledge of living a prostitution-free life?


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## PixelDust (Jun 16, 2005)

I imagine I'd feel pretty squicked out by that. I think part of what creeps me out about it is that it sounds like you were having a nice time, minding your own, maybe forming a superficial bond with this guy based on your conversation about parenting, the area, et cetera. You're relating to each other as parents, and then all of a sudden -- kerblooie -- he sexualizes your parenting.


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## woodsygirl (Oct 27, 2005)

I agree with those who said he was a predator. The way he started a conversation with you and then asked you how old you were, etc, all set off alarms for me. I fell victim to a predator before, and they followed pretty much the same system... striking up a conversation, trying to show what we had in common, then propositioning (they even used the same questions as yours, is there a predator cheat sheet somewhere??)..... I was unfortunately too stupid to realize what was going on.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

OMG.....Wow I.... I think I would have called the police!!! FREAKO!!! And he has kids?!?!?!? OMG and honey are you married or attached???!?! Did you tell your significant other about this?!?!? I'm afraid to go to the park now..


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## Ruthla (Jun 2, 2004)

I agree that it was kinda creepy, but IMO nothing to call the cops about. It's creepy in the "eww this nerdy guy tried to pick me up and I am *NOT* interested!" kind of way, not in the "keep my kids away from this pervert" kind of way. An adult propositioned another adult, she said no, he backed off. End of story.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

hmm...what an odd situation...I don't think there's anything wrong with him finding it erotic (hey so does my dp







) but the fact that he went so far as to ask...in public...with your baby right there...pretty creepy. I wonder about the asking your age...maybe he was trying to make some small talk before asking to nurse.... either way I would


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## MOM2ANSLEY (May 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Junebug*
I had some random guy come up to me at the beach while I was BFing & say, with this really unsettling smile, "you will never be more feminine than you are right now"







.
Like, ewwwww!!!
I guess he could have been paying me a compliment but I was soooo creeped out.

Junebug IMO that sounds like an extreme compliment....that he felt proud for you being a nurturing Mommy.....feminine








BUT as for the OP's scenerio; eeeewwww uke Wrong on so many levels!
ITA many men are turned on by bf, naturally.....In nature males are "supposed" to be turned on by signs of fertility for humans ....."healthy" look...wide hips.....etc ???? anyway I can see men finding bf a turn on....shows woman is able to have and nourish children.....
BUT this guy seemed to have a fetish.....like a pp said, Would it be ok to approach a stranger and proposition them of a foot fetish, elbows, etc???????
To many the baby would be a sign of committment(not always), but some people do not respect social bounderies _obviously_


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## mama_at_home (Apr 27, 2004)

Ok, this thread keeps getting weirder and weirder. I am really shocked by the mamas who think it was ok or not a big deal. Yikes!! A woman has the right to nurse her child without it being seen as an invitation for pervs to proposition them. What if she was not nursing, but he just thought she had nice boobs? Would it be ok for him to ask to suck on them? That is so inappropriate and defenitely sexual harassment.


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## Attached Mama (Dec 4, 2005)

I do NOT think that is natural and IMO you were way too nice to him








Gross!!!!!!!!!!! Not natural for a man to be turned on by a baby eating - and then to actually ask if he can try it. That is so gross!!!!!!!!! I'd also have grabbed my kid, run and thought about if that counted as sexual harrassment and could be reported... (prob not since he didn't pursist on it...)But that is just crazy!


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## hopesmama (Aug 1, 2005)

I am so enraged by this!!!!!









How inappropriate on so many different levels!!!!







:

To ask you in front of your baby and/or kids in completely unacceptable! Did he actually think you were going to say yes?

I guess you could've said: 'Oh absolutely sir, what was I thinking? How rude of me for not offering'.







: Ridiculous!!! Where do these people come from?

FWIW, it's not the fact that the man has a fetish that bothers me, it's the fact that he propositioned a stranger!


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## weeirishlass (Mar 30, 2006)

Wow, the overreactions here are quite harsh. Yes, to be propositioned that way by a strange man is odd, but men fantasize. My H fantasized about it when I was pregnant. Of course, he only told me, not a strange woman in the park, but to make the leap to pedophile and/or child abuser is just plain wrong. Please keep that kind of judgement in check.


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## LoveChild421 (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *weeirishlass*
to make the leap to pedophile and/or child abuser is just plain wrong. Please keep that kind of judgement in check.

I think it is a matter of if he a) got turned on by watching a child nurse or b)got turned on thinking of sucking on her breasts and/or by the thought of breastmilk itself. It's easier to make the leap to pedophile if you think in terms of "watching the child nurse makes turns him on"- but no one is excusing this guy- totally inappropriate for sure.


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## mother culture (Oct 19, 2004)

I was more surprised when he asked and I no longe live in the town so I don't think about it ever. I look at it as prety funny now but that is just me.
I agree with the fantasy is normal claim but we all struggle with our fantasy's...... mabey more would come true if we dared to ask?







:


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## nabigus (Sep 23, 2004)

I think whether this was "odd guy with no boundaries but not worthy of too much thought" or "scary guy striking up conversation with evil intent" would depend largely on the vibes he was sending out. I second (third?) Gavin de Becker's "Protecting the Gift" and "the Gift of Fear." If you were really scared by this guy (despite trying to talk yourself out of it or looking for "logical" explanations), listen to your instincts. If you weren't and just think he was a boundary-less idiot, that's a different story.


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## ryleeee (Feb 9, 2005)

wow. that's so weird.








i probably would have given him a creepy look and ran away.
AND called the police.


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