# 8 year old girl & puberty



## kariann610 (Jan 18, 2008)

well first off I would like to say this is my first time on this website and I am so glad that I found this website. I need some advise anything anyone can give me please. I have an 8 year old little girl just turned 8, 3 months ago and she is going through early puberty. She started developing breats about 6 months ago and when this began her pediatrician sent her through a series of tests to rule out anything negative, such as a tumor on her pituitary gland, she went through ultrasound, ct scans, blood work you name it! It was a very hard time and after all that it was ruled early puberty, now she is growing pubic hair, this has just came up in the past few weeks. Now i am having a hard time dealing with this...aaahhh! The doctor also informed me she will most likely start her menstral cycle in the next year or two. That will make her 9 or 10 and dealing with her period. She has started having mood swings, depression and anger mostly the doctor said this is very normal. So I guess my first question is please give me some advise on how to cope with everything that is going on it is so hard to see my 8 year old having mood swings of a teenager (I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this yet) I have had to have the sex talk with her already which was hard, but I tried to be as open and honest as I could because I want her to be very open with me about this. Another question I have is a very difficult one for me. Should I start her on birth control as soon as she starts her period? I ask this because I was only 16 when I got pregnant with her, so this puts me in a very difficult position, one that is "do as I say, not as I do" how do I explain to my daughter year old to wait to have sex and not to get pregnant when I did? Please anyone who has advise for me I would really appreciate it. I need all I can get right now. She is my angel and she is growing up so fast. She asks me everyday why she is different than the other kids in her class, which breaks my heart, I tell her it is because she is special. She is too young to have to deal with this and I have to be strong for her and be "okay" with this in front of her so that she doesn't get discouraged. I can't talk to my husband because he is having a harder time with this than I am because of course she is daddy's little girl and he can't grasp that she is going through this right now.....HELP


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## Gwendolyn's babies (Nov 22, 2007)

I think being open and honest about what is happening with her body is the way to go.

My advice and this is my opinion. Give her talks as she needs them. She doesn't need to know IMO where body parts need to end up in order to make a baby.. (Her body may be growing up but inside she is still a little girl and very confused). She will need to know about her period because it will be coming soon.

Birth Control at age 8? No way! Is your little girl active in that way???
Tell her she is still a little girl and that sometimes some girls bodies get ahead of their brains.

I am sure she is not the only one that is a "big" little girl in her class.


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## kariann610 (Jan 18, 2008)

oh no she is not active in that way at all, I had to have the sex talk with her mainly because some kids at school decided to tell her what sex is and how to have it, so I was pushed into that conversation. and I really haven't seen any other girls that are developing like her in her 2nd grade class, if they are maybe it is just more noticable on her because she is a 60 lb 4'2" girl so she is extremly skinny and extremely tall for her age so you can notice her chest very much so


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

hbak










I have no real advice, but I wanted to add a note of support. I started developing very early and began my period at age 10. If there are any questions you or your DD have, I'm happy to share my experiences.

She will still be a little girl, and needs to be treated as one, and not as a little teenager. NO birth control! Having an early maturing body does not mean she will have early developing sexual interests or desires.


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## yarngoddess (Dec 27, 2006)

I was one that hit puberty early, and IMO more and more girls are starting puberty earlier than they did when I was a young girl. I think you did great in talking to her about what was happening in regards to sex. You need to, especially in this time frame, keep the communications open and honest. Allowing her plenty of opportunity to talk, once you start the conversation. Remember how hard it was to talk to an adult about ANYTHING once you hit puberty? She will need you to open up, and give her the chance to ask questions and talk about what is happening. Try to stay VERY active with her at school, with her friends, and where she goes/does for fun.

I understand your fear of her continuing the cycle of teen pregnancy, that must be incredably hard to come to terms with now teaching her to do different. I don't think any kid should be automaticlly put on birth controll, especially when they aren't sexually active, or needing it for a medical reason. When she is older than 8! I would again talk with her about how to prevent pregnancy, and about what you think she should do if she were to become sexually active. Give her the freedom of knowledge that she can come to you, the dr, or another well loved and trused adult- that you have given permission to talk about this situation with. Tell her that you only want her to be safe, happy, and healthy.

Look, just because she has hit puberty early DOES NOT in any way guarrentee that she will be sexually active. I knew lots of girls that hit puberty early and were'nt active until after high school. You are allowing your own circumstances to fog what your daughters needs are. One is not the same, she is her own girl! Teach her to love herself, and to be smart, and that her mommy is smart and willing- with no risk of reprocussions- to talk with her about anything! I'm sorry you are having to deal with this already. There are lots of good books regarding puberty and rasing a daughter, I don't have any titles, so I hope another MDCer can give you some. Hang in there! This doesn't have to be a bad thing! Also- try to encourage your DD to celebrate her changing body! Make her feel special, pretty, and well loved and understanded.


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

My dd started to show signs of puberty before she was nine and now she is ten and has had her first period. She's also tall and looks older than her age so I do make sure that she knows to tell people how old she is if it seems that is needed information. I started the sex talk when she was two and it hasn't stopped yet so I don't have to worry about and we are very open even if she does have her secrets as all people do. I wouldn't "start" her on bc at any age. It is her body and she needs to be given the information and an open door and then the ownership of her own body. I was having sex at fourteen and I don't expect her to wait any longer than she feels is right but I also don't want her having sex and year soon.


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## widemouthedfrog (Mar 9, 2006)

I was a very tall girl and also went through puberty a little early. I was in no way sexually active until my late teens, when I decided to start to use the pill. My early development and the fact that I looked years older didn't lead to early sexual activity.

For me, the pill had unpleasant health effects. I'd encourage her to be proud of who she is and aware of her body instead of trying to control her ability to have babies. Those hormones aren't always great for you, but developing a good self-image can only be a positive thing!









Good luck!


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## prettymom (Feb 23, 2007)

If she does start her period, most of the kids bathrooms don't have trash cans in the stalls for used pads and tampons. Make sure to send her with a plastic bag or something to dispose of them in.

I think 8 is a fine age to talk about sex with a child. If they don't get it from you, they will get it from friends and from the media (who tend to distort it).

I wouldn't ever give a little girl birth control. It sounds like her body is going through enough changes without adding extra hormones into the mix. As she gets older, I would try to be open with her so that if she decides she wants it she can come to you.

I would also be really cautious with her diet. Girls who start their periods that young are at much higher risk for breast cancer. She is so young that nutrition could do a lot to fight the other side of it to protect her as she gets older.


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## Sage_SS (Jun 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *prettymom* 
If she does start her period, most of the kids bathrooms don't have trash cans in the stalls for used pads and tampons. Make sure to send her with a plastic bag or something to dispose of them in.

I think 8 is a fine age to talk about sex with a child. If they don't get it from you, they will get it from friends and from the media (who tend to distort it).

I wouldn't ever give a little girl birth control. It sounds like her body is going through enough changes without adding extra hormones into the mix. As she gets older, I would try to be open with her so that if she decides she wants it she can come to you.

I think it depends on what tell them about sex. I agree with the advice against the birth control. Extra hormones aren't needed now..


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

My daughter is 12 and still hasn't started, so I don't exactly have advice from personal experience, but I thought that I would mention what I "would" do in that situation. Aside from talking to your daughter about it, I think you should definitely talk to her teachers if she's going to school. They should know that she may be starting her period soon and that she may need more understanding (and possibly bathroom breaks) than the other kids, especially if she's dealing with things like PMS and cramping that may make her feel unlike herself some days.


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## boobybunny (Jun 28, 2005)

Hugs, and BTDT

My daughter is less than a week from turning 9. She has had her period on and off for almost a year. The first few times were spotting, with lots of emotional imbalance before hand. This last one, was a real period. She was scared, she is in the third grade, with the new amount of blood, she did not want to go to classes this week. I let her stay home for two days, and we worked on all the ways of taking care of her flow. How to tell when you are leaking, all the TMI stuff you never want to talk about. She went back today, and felt confident enough to deal with it.

Have you heard the research that is now blaming early bloomers on mother/daughter relationships?







I bloomed early, why is it any surprise that my equally tall, beautifully daughter is blooming and budding "early."


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## kariann610 (Jan 18, 2008)

thank you so much! this has been wonderful advice so far. So I guess birth control is not the way to go this young. I guess it just really worried me because I know that means my little girl could get pregnant and I know she is not going to be sexually active this young. I just don't want her to be a young mother like I was and I guess I was thinking that was the best way to protect her against that. Today was a good day we talked a lot about what was going on with her body (she had a lot of questions today) I was as open and honest with her as I know how to be. It is so weird, one minute we are talking about all these grown up things and then the next minute she is asking me to play barbie dolls with her. I am trying to make sure we balance the two very well, because I want her to understand why she is "growing up so fast" but I also want her to stay a kid for as long as she can. The mood swings are the hardest I am trying to find the best way to cope with those, still haven't figured that one out yet. She will be irritated one minute and then crying the next, but I guess that will just come with time....or not...lol


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## PoppyMama (Jul 1, 2004)

It seems that the mood swings improve greatly when she gets her first period. At least it improved in our case...now only if she didn't lose everything


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## Datura (Mar 18, 2005)

I had very early onset puberty. I was tall, about 5'4" by the time I was 10, period at 10, pubic hair at about 7 or 8, breasts by around 8 or 9... Its tough. You're young and no one else is going through what you're going through. You're sore and tired and its a pain to have to deal with worrying whether your boobs are jiggling or you're bleeding through your pad when you just want to play kickball. The LAST thing you need is more hormones thrown in the pot.

I was put on birth control at about 13 (as a treatment for migraines devised by some brainiac doctor







) and let me just say that I'm fairly positive that it played havoc with my hormones for the rest of my life. My periods went from bad to unendurable. I gained a lot of weight. As an adult I have endometriosis and polycystic ovaries, both of which are associated with hormonal imbalances. It affected my moods dramatically and gave me life threatening blood clots (deep vein thrombosis) that nearly killed me at 17. Please, please, please don't put her on birth control. It hijacks your normal development and throws it off course.

I understand that you're terrified that she'll get pregnant. But honestly, treating her like she's just going to go out and do it is (in my opinion) one of the best ways to set her up for it. Rationalize with her, give her the information that she needs and do your best to be there to provide clear, level headed advice in such a manner that she'll be willing to talk to you without fear of repercussion, shaming or guilt when an issued does arise.

One of my good friends did something that I thought was really intelligent when it came to her kids. She took them to an Unitarian discussion about adolescent sexuality (gotta love the Unitarians for being rational and openminded) in which they were given a lot of facts and the tools that they would need in their adult life to stay safe, as well as a discussion of the moral and spiritual impact of intercourse. Then she took them home (they were a teenage boy and girl, btw), gave them each a lesson on how to operate a condom and then a pile of them under the sink in a basket. She didn't count them for fear of being tempted to count them later, lol.







Everyone knew they were there and she assumes that they used them when needed. The two kids are now in their thirties and there were no sex related dramas with either of them.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *yarngoddess* 
Look, just because she has hit puberty early DOES NOT in any way guarrentee that she will be sexually active. I knew lots of girls that hit puberty early and were'nt active until after high school.

That would be me, more or less-- OK, senior year of high school, but that is also a normal age for girls who matured later.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kariann610* 
Should I start her on birth control as soon as she starts her period?









Just because your DD might start her period doesn't mean she needs to go on birth control! Just keep the lines of communication open and talk to her about sex when appropriate (age appropriately) and be there for her in case she does decide in future years to have sex as a teenager.

I got my period at the age of 11 so not real early but it didn't change me that much. Yes, I got moody and went through all the different changes but I in no way wanted to start having sex. I thought kissing was the absolute best thing and didn't have a desire to know more at that age.









I'm guessing you are about 24 years old? So you are still very young. Have you thought about taking parenting classes or getting counseling for how to deal with a child this age. You may benefit from that. In fact, I may have to take such a class for myself sooner or later and I'm 40.







Your 8 y o DD sounds like my 5.5 y o DD. My DD is very moody and cries at the drop of a hat. I can only imagine what it will be like with her in a few more years.


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## BiscuitBaby (Nov 21, 2007)

http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-Y...WWKADVY2Z9R56H

_A preteen girl's guide to basic health and hygiene--from braces to bras, pimples to periods, hair care to healthy eating._


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## helen_emily (Jun 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Datura* 
One of my good friends did something that I thought was really intelligent when it came to her kids. She took them to an Unitarian discussion about adolescent sexuality (gotta love the Unitarians for being rational and openminded) in which they were given a lot of facts and the tools that they would need in their adult life to stay safe, as well as a discussion of the moral and spiritual impact of intercourse. Then she took them home (they were a teenage boy and girl, btw), gave them each a lesson on how to operate a condom and then a pile of them under the sink in a basket. She didn't count them for fear of being tempted to count them later, lol.







Everyone knew they were there and she assumes that they used them when needed. The two kids are now in their thirties and there were no sex related dramas with either of them.


That is so awesome! I hope I could be that cool when I have teenagers!


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## sahli29 (Jan 23, 2004)

My dd will be 9 next month and has been in the early stages since turning eight.Body hair and breast development.I came across some books on menstration and body changes for kids and will be reading those with my dd.Her ped did not seemed concerned that she had begun at this age,so no tests were done.He might have said it was an issue if puberty kicked in at age 6 or earlier I wish I could slow it down for her till age 15,but I feel we need to speak about sexual issues so she is prepared for any inappropriate advances from adults or other kids. Best wishes!


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## cdahlgrd (Sep 4, 2002)

Can you spend some time in groups of older girls? That way she could see what a normal developing body looks like and she won't feel like such an outsider. Girl scouts or other girl sports, etc.?

Books are great help. We like It's so Amazing, It's not the stork and It's Perfectly Nromal. There are also some other good books about sex, and puberty. A nice place to start a good conversation.

She may get teased more and get attentioin from men at an earlier age. You will want to start giving her tools to deal with these things in the next couple years. Teach her to say "No!" and mean it. How to get help from parents or teachers if she needs it, etc. (good tools for all children, but something you won't want to put off for your family).


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## kariann610 (Jan 18, 2008)

thank you much this has been so helpful. I am looking into all of the books recommended. All the information I can read I know will be great and better prepare me when talking to her. We have talked some about "boys" and how they might treat her and how she can deal with their advances. I will sit her down and talk to her more about it. I want her to be as ready for that as she can be. We haven't had a problem with that yet, most are parents and teachers who think she is older right now. Next year might be a little bit more because right now she is in primary school. which here is kin-2nd next year she will be in Elementary school which again here is 3rd-5th. Brianna is doing better with accepting she is growing faster than the other girls, I think it hurt her confidence going through the tests because it automaticlly made her think that some thing was wrong with her. She still is very shy about it, she does tumbleing and cheerleading 2 times a week and doesn't want to wear her leotard. She doesn't want to spend the night any where or have someone spend the night for fear of them seeing her. I hope she can over come these soon because I don't want this to distant her from the other kids. I am taking all this advice, this has all been wonderful thank you so much


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