# 3 year old middle of the night tantrums?



## kaylas mama

DH and I are really struggling with DD #1....she wakes up nearly every night sometime between 12 and 1 in a tantrum. Not just screaming, but tantrum-ing. She's mad. She doesn't want to be touched. She kicks, flails her arms, cries, etc. Most nights I don't think she's awake when it begins...Sometimes all I have to do is put her hand on my breast and she goes right back to sleep. Sometimes, if I can get her to take a drink of water, that will do the trick. But most of the time, it lasts quite a while and it takes us all a bit to get back to sleep.

Last night was the worst. She was scuuuureeeeeaming and kicking. DH had to take her to the living room to protect (and not wake) DD #2. And she just carried on. Finally, we put her on the floor of the living room and said "you may do this here, and when you're calm, or you need help you come get one of us". She continued on for about 20 minutes and then cried for help. I went to her and held her...she said she was sorry, but couldn't tell me what was wrong-I didn't push. I just gave her love, a drink of water and carried her back to our bed.

Has anyone else gone through this? I've read all about night waking and terrors and the like, but I'm not convinced that that's what we're dealing with. We've not had any major changes going on, except that DD has just turned 3....

ANY feedback would be GREATLY appreciated, Mommies!

Thanks..


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## captain crunchy

I could have written your post regarding our dd who is 26 months old --- she does this every once in a while, sometimes a few times a week then not for some weeks and so on --

I think it is related to night terrors myself -- she is in a state of being half awake, half still in a dreamworld --- I have also seen it be related to when she is on a cusp of a major developmental milestone -- or sometimes if she has had an early dinner, she wakes up like that and I believe her blood sugar may have dipped and she is hungry but gets too worked up too fast to take any milk/water/snack--

Also, this happens a lot (or seems to) with babes around this age who are potty learning/close to it because the urge to pee wakes them and for some reason causes a freak out -- I notice sometimes when dd wakes and starts, if I am holding her, I can feel warmth (peeing lol) right after she has woken and it seems to be a pattern with the urge to potty. I don't know if your dd is potty learned but asking if she needs to potty might help?

We comfort her as best as we can unless she is really going nuts physically kicking/hurting us, then I/dh sit close to her, soothing her verbally or just being present with her until it passes.

Then as I mentioned earlier, it will be weeks before another *incident*. For what it's worth, I don't think major changes have to be going on for these things to happen --- *sometimes* her freak outs (







) are related to having a long, stimulating day (such as going to a new place or meeting new people) but mostly they happen when it is a run of the mill day she is familiar with.

Good luck, you are not alone!! It is upsetting sometimes for us because it seems like nothing gets through to her or helps her in those moments -- and frustrating too because I get scared the neighbors will call someone, what with the blood curdling screams and all *sigh* lol... but just being a loving, peaceful presence will help a lot I think.

Take care


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## tsume

I agree with lot of what the other poster said.

Our oldest had night terrors similar to what your DD is experiencing and about the same age. The 4 triggers we identified (sure there are more)
1. overstimulating day - whether positive or negative stimulation
2. overtired - long day, no nap, went to bed later than normal for him, etc
3. sick - might happen a couple nights before he felt ill.
4. needing to pee - this was ds' main culprit. Three separate times I held ds during a night terror and asked if he needed to go pee. And then I felt warmth on my belly.









It hasn't happened in a long time but when it does I immediately take him to the restroom and help him pull down his pants and tell him to go pee. 99% of the time he pees and goes back to bed with no problems. the other 1% it's one of the first 3 things I have listed.

It's happened maybe 10 times? There was never any pattern on when it was going to happen. The first few times it happened we were at our wits end.









eta: since you said it's happening nightly - maybe have some water and snack ready to go if the reason is low blood sugar like the PP said. And turning 3 is a big deal. There is a lot of growing and maturing going on and that puts a lot of stress on a person. The body needs to discharge the stress and will do so at night if that's the only time the person can do so.

Again, it's not because of a negative thing, but something the body needs to get rid of. And DS NEVER remembered waking in the middle of the night.


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## AbbieB

I just wanted to shares a hug and reassure you this will pass.

My sister and I both went through a period like this a children at around this age. It lasted about 6 months.

My DD occasionally does this, usually when I am not in bed with her (even though Daddy is). It is frustrating that it takes a while for her to calm down, but I think she is not really awake and is not totally in control of herself during these tantrums. She also will only be comforted by me. Daddy gets hit and screamed at for even trying to comfort her







.

For us it does seem to be connected to having a rough day (she and I butting heads or her just having a moody day).


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## Vicitoria

Oh gosh! We totally have this going on. We are going through a language development state - very late so he likes to talk and he repeats things he says all day long. The blood sugar could definitely be an issue. DS still drinks milk in the middle of the night. Usually we go through one sippy cup of milk and on sippy cup of water with a splash of apple juice. He cries, he flails it's annoying and I'm pregnant and he kicks the belly and makes me mad and then I realize he can't help it. DS has never been a great sleeper but has been going down in his own bed for several months before the started. Now he only wants to sleep in "papa's bed." Then, the other night, he wakes up and only wanted to sleep in his own bed! He wakes up talking about peepee potty too. So much going on in the little guys life right now you think he could take a break at night but I guess not.

I'm still trying to figure out how to remedy the problem before the new baby arrives. We definitely won't be able to co sleep with this kind of behavior.


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## Bellejar

Could these be night terrors? You should google night terrors, they are very common in preschool age children. My nephew had them and there are several methods to help.


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## Angel's mom

*Night tantrums*

I am experiencing the same thing nightly with my 3 1/2yr old.


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## MommaMom

Angel's mom said:


> I am experiencing the same thing nightly with my 3 1/2yr old.


Mine is almost 3 1/2 and this has become an issue just recently. For us I think is that he wakes up because he needs to pee, but at the same time does not want to the bathroom. Would not pee in a pull up either. So he goes through a tantrum, then he uses the bathroom and goes back to sleep. When did it start for your son?


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## sierramtngirl

We have this with our. 2.5 yr old and yes, I think it is related to having to pee. Moving her potty into her room helped some, but she still has a big tantrum once every few weeks in the middle of the night. It's so fun having the entire house wide awake at 3 in the morning-including the 5 month old baby and the dog!


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## anachka

This is the age where their imagination really kicks in and the night terrors are a reality. Same thing happening w my 3 yo. Hang in there!


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