# Stillbirth 33 weeks - cord accident



## Frankiesmom (Nov 26, 2006)

I was 33 weeks pregnant with my second child, a son. I have a 2 year old daughter, Samantha, and had a full term, healthy pregnancy and delivery with her. This pregnancy had been problem-free until I noteced on October 17th, 2006 that he hadn't been moving at all over night. I went to my OB's office and they couldn't find his heartbeat with the doppler. They moved me to the US room and my OB said the words that changed my life forever "I'm sorry, he doesn't have a heartbeat...he has died." My doctor said that she didn't know what had happened, but would be able to tell us more once I delivered him. I was induced, and delivered my perfect baby boy, Francesco Gerard on October 19th. He was 3 lbs, 9 oz and 18 inches long. He had the cord wrapped around his body 5 times...it was a cord accident. He was perfect in every way and looked exactly like my husband. We held our precious, Frankie, for 11 hours and took photos and footprints and just spent time with him as a family. We couldn't believe that we wouldn't be taking him home with is to meet his sister who had been eagerly waiting "Baby Frankie's" arrival. This was the worst day of our lives.

It has been about 5 weeks since we lost our baby boy and it has been very difficult. My due date is coming up, December 6th as well as the holidays. We should have our baby boy with us, we shouldn't be visiting him at the cemetary. It just isn't fair.

My OB called me last week and told me that I am homogeneous for MTHFR which causes an increased risk of blood clots, heart disease etc. She does not think that this was what caused Frankie's death but we will have to address this issue. I am currently on 81 mg of Aspirin and folic acid. I see my OB in a few weeks to review everything and figure out what will need to be done for my next pregnancy. I feel bad even thinking about getting pregnant again, but we want more children and don't want to wait. I know a new baby will not replace Frankie, but I feel it is something we both really need and want.


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## Shirelle (May 22, 2006)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. I just cannot imagine your pain. Take care of yourself.


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## midstreammama (Feb 8, 2005)




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## PortraitPixie (Apr 21, 2005)

Frankie








I am so sorry mamma.


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## bamamom (Dec 9, 2004)

I'm so sorry mama..Feel free to post pics if you're comfortable..many of us have lost our pregnancies....I lost three babies, earlier than yours, but it still hurts occasionally.

Time will heal you, and hopefully your body will heal as well.


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## orla (Nov 30, 2003)

: i am so sorry - i lost my 1st babe about 2 yrs ago. love to you and your family. Prayers, as well.


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## rowansmomma (Feb 25, 2005)

I was lurking...... Oh momma....... I can't imagine the hell you are going through, I have tears in my eyes reading this. Saying how sorry I am does not help you in any way, I know but please know that I indeed am. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I don't know how moms get through the loss of a child. 5 weeks have passed.....hopefully your pain eases with more time.


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## Starleigh (Jul 27, 2003)

I'm so sorry.


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## angela dawn (Sep 25, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss.

We lost our first baby in January 2006, the pain will always be there, but believe me when i say it gets easier as days pass. I had the same feelings as you about getting pregnant right away, but we waited for 6 months, which now looking back was definately not long enough, but everyone is different. Just take your time to honour your son's memory.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Be gentle with yourself......


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## trini (Sep 20, 2005)

I am so, so sorry. I know the emptiness and sorrow. Our first ds was stillborn at 38 weeks. It was also a cord accident. He was also due on December 6th. Yesterday marked what would have been his 3rd birthday.







:

You will always, always miss him. You will always think of him and wonder what life would have been like without him. You will never forget him and never stop loving him. However, you will not always be this sad. Give yourself permission to grieve as much as you need to. You will find joy again.

Our 2nd son just turned 16 months today. I wish with all my heart he had his big brother here with him. I have been blessed with two boys. One I hold in my arms and one I hold in my heart.

Francesco knows you love him.


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## doula mary (Aug 28, 2002)

Time and a new life will ~help~the pain..however, grief...will always spring up...when you dont expect it. It WILL get easier, so so sorry to hear of your loss.

mary


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## ombra*luna (May 1, 2003)




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## srain (Nov 26, 2001)

I'm so sorry. It's been four years since I lost my second son, and while time has healed, I still think about him every day. Losing a child after you've already had one is a different kind of loss than losing your first- while you're incredibly grateful to have your daughter, while some people may never have a living child, you've also come to know what it is that you're missing much more so than most people who do not already have children.

Be gentle with yourself.


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## leafwood (Jun 15, 2004)




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## crazycandigirl (Mar 13, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## sophmama (Sep 11, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## iris0110 (Aug 26, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss.







s


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## SillyMommy (May 13, 2003)

Hugs and prayers for you. May your family heal. I'm so, so sorry.


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## queencarr (Nov 19, 2001)

I am so, so sorry. We also lost our second child, our daughter Samantha, at around 29 weeks due to a cord injury--it twisted right above her belly button. My experience was that by 5w pp, I was coming out of the numbness and fog, and actually felt my grief more intensely that the first few weeks. Please remember to take care of yourself, I know that I forgot the most basic things unless I was physically directed to them, such as putting a plate of food in my hands or I would not realize I needed to eat. You will not get over your loss, but you will get through it, just take it one day at a time, and when that is too much, go minute by minute if need be. This board is a wonderful place to share, grieve, rant and cry, and I know many of us have found so much support and love here. Again, I am so sorry.


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## mamaverdi (Apr 5, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

frankiesmom,
i am so sorry to read how you've lost your son.
i was just remembering yesterday the conversation btwn us and our midwife about 'no heartbeat'. the worst day of my life began right then and there...

i am hurting for you- coming up on his due date, and all of the days without him... are you going to any counseling? are there any infant loss support groups where you live? i found a counselor shortly after coral died and she really helped us through some tough times. it helped to be around someone who cared, and had an idea of what we were feeling- losing a child is such a hollowing experience, and i don't think most people know what to do or say...
anyway, i hope you have some good support and are surrounded by alot of love right now.

it sounds like you had some really special time with frankie after he was born. all of that love and welcoming him to your family will help as the days go by- when it got really sad for me, i tried to get back to remembering that love i have for my daughter. it is real, and it truly carried, and carries, me, going on in life without her here with us.

you'll be in our thoughts...


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## jennay (Mar 20, 2003)

I'm very sorry for your loss.









I am compound hetero for MTHFR and found this message board. It may be helpful to you. MTHFR Message Board


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

Frankiesmom, I am so sorry.


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## alaska (Jun 12, 2004)

What a terrible thing to have to live through. I can't imagine your pain. I hope you and your family are healing.


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## mommyofannaisaac (Jun 6, 2006)

I am soo soo sorry that you lost your precious son. I also lost my son. I had a 18 month old daughter when my son Isaac was born, so I know what it is like to not be able to take that baby home for your daughter to see and love. I hate that my daughter thinks that we are going to see Isaac when we drive into the cemetery. its awful. I can't tell you that you will miss him less as time goes by because you don't. The hurt does eventually lessen a little at a time. It has been 6 months since I lost my son. We didn't have a cord accident. We had a doctor that panicked when a problem arose- and our son didn't make it because of that. Isaac's shoulders got stuck and the doctor panicked and pushed his head back inside of me and did a c-section. Isaac died 5hrs and 35min. after he was born. We did get to hold him while he was alive, although he was hooked up to several machines. we held him for a couple of hours after he passed away and we took pictures with him. We got some very good pictures- he looks alive in them. they are up all over our house. We don't want anyone to forget him. I also know how you feel about wanting to get preg. again right aaway. We did too. But it still hasn't happened. I usually get preg. as soon as we try, but now it has been six months and so far nothing yet. I hope the doc didn't mess anything up with me. everyone says that my body probably just needs time to heal. So don't get to worried if you don't get preg as soon as you try. Feel free to e-mail me or pm me if you want to talk. My prayers are with you. if you check some of my back post you will see a poem and a song that was written for out son- it may help you some.


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## gadivapeach72 (Dec 27, 2005)




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## Frankiesmom (Nov 26, 2006)

I just wanted to thank everybody for all of the kind words and advise. It helps to be able to hear from women who have gone through the same thing, although I wish none of us had to go through this. I know that the pain will lessen as time goes on, but I know that I will never get over it, like so many people that haven't been in our siutation, like to say. I have lost a piece of me and will never be able to get that back. There will always be a whole in my heart. I miss my Frankie so much!!!

Becky


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## MoonStarFalling (Nov 4, 2004)

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. We lost our daughters to a cord accident 2.5 yrs ago and I still miss them every day. Getting through my first due date and christmas was so tough. Do what you can to take care of yourself and make the day special for you and in memory of your son.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

I am very sorry for the loss of your precious Frankie.














s Peace to you, mama.

I had one, full term, completely healthy pregnancy which resulted in my almost 5 yo DS and then I had a missed m/c after my DD was stillborn. My DD's placenta abrupted at 37 weeks and there was a clot in her cord. I also have MTHFR and PAI I. I'm double homozygous for MTHFR (extremely rare) and heterozygous for PAI I. The combination of the two are very rare...go figure. We have a thread going in H&H, which is linked in my signature, on clotting disorders. If you need to talk about anything you can always post here or PM me.







s








Frankie


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)

I'm very sorry sweet heart. I remember those terrible words "I'm sorry, but your baby has passed away."







you will definately be in my thoughts and prayers.








Frankie


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## Mama8 (Mar 6, 2006)

I am so sorry that Frankie died. Holidays can be very hard. A big big







You are not at all crazy for wanting another child. You are a Mama. Please feel free to PM me anytime. We had our son die 32 months ago. Again I am sorry that your Frankie has died. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## Ambrose (Apr 20, 2004)

:


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## mamatowill (Aug 23, 2004)

for Frankie. I am sorry for your loss.


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## berkeleyp (Apr 22, 2004)




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## 5796 (Oct 19, 2002)

love and hugs for you and your family.

and a prayer for Frankie.


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## ILoveMySofie (May 28, 2005)

I am so so sorry that you lost your precious son. I know no words can help you or heal you. I just wanted to tell you I know this horrible pain...and I feel for you.

May you be pregnant again soon if that is what you wish for.








Frankie


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## Alison-Motherwear (Oct 16, 2006)

I remember hearing those same words from the doctor for my son, Matthew, who we lost at 38 weeks in July 2002. How can it be?

I am thankful to be able to read everyone's stories and have a place to mourn with other moms who've experienced the same thing. May you find comfort in the words of all these moms.

I am so sorry for the loss of your baby, so truly sorry.


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## dziejen (May 23, 2004)

Oh Frankiesmom,
I am so sad and so sorry







Last October our daughter Carrie was stillborn at 33 weeks also. I had felt her moving the day before but at my appt they were unable to find her heartbeat. There was one big movement in the office that gave us hope so I had an emergency c-section but she was already gone. Her cord was wrapped twice around her foot and once around her neck. It hurts so bad mama, especially this time of year when it seems everyone else is happy and you are just trying to get through 2 minutes without completely losing it and need to remind yourself to keep breathing. I am holding you close in my heart today. PM me if you need to talk ever. I was so grateful for MDC mamas and I still am -- I found so many moms here who truly understand the pain of losing a child.







Take care of yourself, mama.


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## coleslaw (Nov 11, 2002)

I am so very sorry for your loss. I too lost my dd from a cord accident at 37 weeks. She had it three times around her neck and once around her body. I can now remember when she was twirling in me and I complained that she was "breakdancing on my cervix." Then the time she turned breech at 36 weeks must have been when the cord wrapped around her body, causing her to die. Even after 18 months, the pain is still there, but not the way it was in the first days and months after she was born. I hope you have good support. Please feel free to PM me if you wish to talk. Peace to you.


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## StacieM (Oct 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Frankiesmom* 
I feel bad even thinking about getting pregnant again, but we want more children and don't want to wait. I know a new baby will not replace Frankie, but I feel it is something we both really need and want.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Don't feel bad for wanting another one. All of us who've been through this know that another one will not replace this one. But for me, thinking of trying again helped me feel better. I don't know why, it's not what I expected, that's just how it is for me. It's okay to feel this way. Many of us do.

Please take care of yourself. I truly hope your next pregnancy goes well. Best wishes to you and your family.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Ben's Mommy (Aug 11, 2005)

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious son.


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## UrbanEarthMom (Jul 20, 2004)

There are no words to describe your tragedy. Thinking of you.


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## ladybug13 (Oct 29, 2005)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Frankie. I lost my daughter full term due to a blood clotting problem in 2002. Blood clotting problems are a fairly common cause of stillbirth and m/c.

I am so very sorry and wish for your peace and strength. I participate in two separate pregnancy and infant loss groups online (www.missfoundation.org/forums and www.nationalshareoffice.com). When you are ready, you should check them both out as they have been enormously responsible for my healing over the past 4+ years.

Best wishes.....


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## sarah73 (Jul 10, 2005)

i am so very sorry..


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## warriorprincess (Nov 19, 2001)

I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs))). I lost a little boy at 33 weeks also.


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## Finding Serenity (Aug 10, 2005)

I'm so sorry. Much love to you!


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