# A kinda morbid question...



## mommysusie (Oct 19, 2006)

I have been looking at everyone's touching website dedicated to their beautiful angels and I had a question. I noticed that most of the babies that were born near full term or at full term had very dark almost black lips. Can anyone tell me why that is?
I'm sorry if I am offending anyone, I am not trying to, the websites have helped me alot with my healing, I am just genuinely curious.


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## coralsmom (Apr 1, 2005)

babies are incredibly fragile.
when they stop living, their newly formed and delicate tissues break down very fast, faster than a child or an adult.
in real life, at least for our daughter, her lips didn't look as dark as they do in her photos. they looked rosy red. she had only died 12 hours before i saw her. so this is my personal experience.

i think it is very difficult to look at a photo of a baby that has died. but, although i never saw my daughter when she was alive, she is beautiful to me. her pictures only bring good feelings to me at this point. i see past the signs that she died, and i see only her features, the shape of her head, her hair, her lashes- and i have a good, etched memory of what she looked like with my own eyes, which was different than what she looks like in her pictures.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

My DD was 37 weeks when she was stillborn and it's very hard to look at full color pictures of her. Most of the pics are b&w but we do have a few color.

We estimate that she passed away around 5 AM and she wasn't born until 2:46 PM. One of the first things I noticed was that her fingernail beds were really dark and that was from meconium staining. Her little toenails were the same way. And another thing I noticed immediately were her lips. They appear really dark in the color pictures but IRL they weren't as harsh. The loss of blood flow to those areas I suppose has something to do with it. That's why her face was gray in some places and pink in others. As the week wore on she became completely gray.

For some people it's "creepy" to look at pics of stillborn babies so I appreciate you asking an honest question and not presenting it in a creepy tone. Pictures are one of the things that keep me going.


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## mommysusie (Oct 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HoosierDiaperinMama* 

For some people it's "creepy" to look at pics of stillborn babies so I appreciate you asking an honest question and not presenting it in a creepy tone. Pictures are one of the things that keep me going.

It helps me heal to see others pictures. I don't really think of it as creepy. I chose not to see my baby when he was born, a choice that I now regret. I thought it would make the healing easier for me, but it just made it worse. I get some comfort in seeing other people's babies and imagining what mine would have looked like.
Thanks for your answers.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommysusie* 
It helps me heal to see others pictures. I don't really think of it as creepy. I chose not to see my baby when he was born, a choice that I now regret. I thought it would make the healing easier for me, but it just made it worse. I get some comfort in seeing other people's babies and imagining what mine would have looked like.
Thanks for your answers.









s


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## Debstmomy (Jun 1, 2004)

Many babies are discolored just because they have passed. There is no oxygen going through them so they turn cyanotic (blue). Some have meconium staining which turns their skin color yellow or sallow & may perhaps stain their nails brown. The longer they are in utero after they have passed, the more degeneration of the skin may happen, which can make it very thin & peely (also for earlier losses).
Thank you for your honest question. I hope our pics can help you heal & make it less scary. It makes me sad to hear that Mama's & Dads are afraid to see & hold their angels.


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## queencarr (Nov 19, 2001)

As the others have said, our babies are very fragile. For us, we simply forgot to take pictures in the first few minutes when she was still pretty and pink and newborn baby looking. She had died several days earlier, and her body deteriorated rapidly once she was exposed to air and bacteria. Also, she is very red in many of the pictures because she had started to bleed in her brain, and it made her look darker in her face than she was when she was first born. Her lips were dark red, but so were my preemie ds', so it may have been the gestational age; as a preemie, his skin was also redder than a typical newborn because the layer of fat that is in between is missing, so that may effect the look of earlier losses. We had a portrait done--see sig link--where the artist color corrected and cleaned her up (we chose not to have her bathed, and she is covered in vernix) for us. I took him pictures of ds1 and had him match the skin tones from those (they were identical when she was first born). In the painting she looks like she does in my minds eye. Thank you for asking such an honest question. I hope that knowing and looking helps you heal.


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