# have you checked your son's penis today?



## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

i keeping thinking.... i notice the intact mama's seem to know exactly what is going on with their son's penis every day. the slightest change in color ("it was a little red on the left side just under the head...)" or position ("the foreskin has gone back a 100th of a centimeter, i can tell") and we are analyzing if everything is still okay. :LOL i am wondering, do we do this because we are second guessing our decision? our continual verification that we did the right thing? or because we went through all the trouble to do the research and find out about it, we are curious to see how it is progressing since many of us haven't truly seen the intact penis (i'm not asking my dad or FIL, okay???) ? or because we did all this research we are just more aware of every part of our child's body?

i am really curious. i mean, i never hear any of my friend's who circed paying attention to what is happening to their son's penis.

why do we pay such close attention? do circ parents just not look or do they just not talk about it?


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## gethane (Dec 30, 2003)

Well, being the mom of a circed and intact son, I know that I just didn't want to look at my first son's damaged penis







. He did have some adhesions once and so I had to apply vaseline for forever it seemed. I just hated it.

I get no guilt looking at my youngest son's penis while changing diapers though. So while I don't go looking at it especially, I do give it the once over, just like everything else, to make sure that there's no rash or hiding poop. Guilt did not lead me to look away.


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## bell bottom blues (Aug 14, 2004)

My best guess is that mothers who did the research to leave their sons intact are just more detailed, conscientious people in general.


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## mamajama (Oct 12, 2002)

I dunno, I had the attitude from the get-go to just leave it alone which is why I didn't circ. I still have the same attitude.








The only time I've ever paid much mind was the one time my older son had pain and needed cream for a small tear he inflicted upon himself. (due to over-zealous exploration). I just figure their bodies are their own and I will only be involved when needed, or asked.


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## AmandaBL (Aug 3, 2004)

I don't check out my boys like that, but I get what you're saying. I think the reason we see so many questions like that is that this is the only place most of us have to go for accurate info. where we have ZERO chance of geting a "you should hav circed" answer. NONE of us are calling the ped with an intact penis question after having to stand guard over it like a sentry at each & every visit. We can't exactly call up 2 or 3 girlfriends for their take (well, I can, but a lot of people don't have a close friend with intact boys) like we can with solids, or tantrums or whatever.... Hope that makes sense - I'm overly tired & off to bed.


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## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaBL*
I don't check out my boys like that, but I get what you're saying. I think the reason we see so many questions like that is that this is the only place most of us have to go for accurate info. where we have ZERO chance of geting a "you should hav circed" answer. NONE of us are calling the ped with an intact penis question after having to stand guard over it like a sentry at each & every visit. We can't exactly call up 2 or 3 girlfriends for their take (well, I can, but a lot of people don't have a close friend with intact boys) like we can with solids, or tantrums or whatever.... Hope that makes sense - I'm overly tired & off to bed.

that totally makes sense. thanks for the insight.....


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## Frankly Speaking (May 24, 2002)

I think it is a range of reasons from the nagging question in our subconscious that our son is the one that's going to get one of those horrible infections we've heard about all of our lives (that never materialize!) to just the warm and comfortable feeling you get from knowing we did the right thing and want to just look at our good deed.

Frank


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## boingo82 (Feb 19, 2004)

I honestly don't check or spend any time analyzing it. It is just another thing to wipe the poop off of as far as I'm concerned.


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## wednesday (Apr 26, 2004)

I don't really notice it one way or another.







Once the tip of it got quite red and irritated-looking so we gave him some extra plain-water baths and changed him more frequently for a few days. I actually think it might have been a detergent issue, we washed diapers at a relative's house. But it was red enough that any person with two eyes would have been concerned, whether it was intact or circ'ed. It got better fast.


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *AmandaBL*
I don't check out my boys like that, but I get what you're saying. I think the reason we see so many questions like that is that this is the only place most of us have to go for accurate info. where we have ZERO chance of geting a "you should hav circed" answer. NONE of us are calling the ped with an intact penis question after having to stand guard over it like a sentry at each & every visit. We can't exactly call up 2 or 3 girlfriends for their take (well, I can, but a lot of people don't have a close friend with intact boys) like we can with solids, or tantrums or whatever.... Hope that makes sense - I'm overly tired & off to bed.









:


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## Pandora114 (Apr 21, 2005)

For me *since I only have a DD right now* I would just inspect it every day for diaper rash, Like I did/do with my DD. Just with a penis, ya gotta lift it up to look under for any signs of rash.

Since we have hard water here on Base, detergent buildup IS an issue, I only use mabe not even a sprinkling of it, and it STILL Bubbles to high hevan...I tried stripping the diaps once...I gave up after the 8th go in the washer and still bubbly


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## shaylahc (Nov 2, 2004)

Well I think you have to think about the fact that this is a board about leaving babies intact. That means a lot of people who are having problems with their son's penis might come here to ask for advice. So it may look like people here are having more problems, when in fact if this a place to talk about intact penises you are going to have a lot of questions (does that make sense?).

I have participated in several expecting club bulletin boards and I have heard many a penis questions, even with circumcised babies. Diaper rashes and other problems are *extremely* common in babies so it's not surprising that moms will have questions about genitals as well as other aspects of physical and emotional development.

I don't think moms of intact babies examine their son's penises any more than any other parent does. Small children tend to have genitals that get easily irritated and it's not unusual for a parent to ask questions about it. I have 3 daughters and I have had a lot more questions and problems with their genitals over the years. Unfortunately I haven't seen any female genital question bulletin board :LOL or else you would probably see a lot of questions there, too!


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## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shaylahc*
Unfortunately I haven't seen any female genital question bulletin board :LOL or else you would probably see a lot of questions there, too!









: things like, why does my niece think it is comfortable to PULL like that????


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## Frankly Speaking (May 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shaylahc*
Well I think you have to think about the fact that this is a board about leaving babies intact. That means a lot of people who are having problems with their son's penis might come here to ask for advice. So it may look like people here are having more problems, when in fact if this a place to talk about intact penises you are going to have a lot of questions (does that make sense?).

That paragraph hit the nail on the head. I know of several moderators at other boards who send their members here for advice and many members at many boards do the same. You can also google almost anything about circumcision and this board will show up in the results, often within the first 3 or 4 sites plus, we have a large audience of members here at MDC with intact sons to draw from.

You can see evidence of this at the bottom of the main forum page. There is almost always a significant number of "Guests" who are here viewing information without being registered. They are lurkers. Look at the number of brand new members we have had just this week where their first post is in this forum. This forum is a drawing card for all of MDC and is bringing significant numbers of members to the site. Since this board is almost exclusively about intact penises, we get a far larger number of parents of intact sons and thus a far larger number of the occasional problems. That by itself would make it appear that there are more problems than actually exist.

Frank


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## kavamamakava (Aug 25, 2004)

Well, my son walks around naked a lot so I tend to see it. :LOL I also know as much about my daughter's vulva.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

Well, as a mother of an unitact son I have to say I examine my sons penis at every diaper change. Just the same as I examine his scrotum and his bottom. If my sons penis is red, I am a little concerned and change him more often. I think intact or not has nothing to do with it. Like mentioned above there are just way way more intact parents here because it is the "Case Against Circumcision" board.

I also know that it hurts for me to come here, so I don't visit very often. I am sure I am not the only one.


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## Frankly Speaking (May 24, 2002)

Gena, we actually have lots of moms who have circumcised here. They did it before they got a heads up and the majority are like you and wish they hadn't. It's nothing you should be ashamed of here. This is a forum about acceptance and education, not about criticism. We're glad you spoke up and hope you will become a regular!

You may want to read the sticky at the top of the forum "Do you regret circumcising your son?" to see that you are not alone. Sometimes I think reformed mothers are worse (or better!) than reformed smokers. They often become very passionate about this issue. I suspect that they know there is little they can do for their own son and want to help other mothers avoid the grief they have experienced.

Frank


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## calngavinsmom (Feb 19, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Frankly Speaking*
Gena, we actually have lots of moms who have circumcised here. They did it before they got a heads up and the majority are like you and wish they hadn't. It's nothing you should be ashamed of here. This is a forum about acceptance and education, not about criticism. We're glad you spoke up and hope you will become a regular!

You may want to read the sticky at the top of the forum "Do you regret circumcising your son?" to see that you are not alone. Sometimes I think reformed mothers are worse (or better!) than reformed smokers. They often become very passionate about this issue. I suspect that they know there is little they can do for their own son and want to help other mothers avoid the grief they have experienced.

Frank









: What Frank said!(then again, when is it isn't :LOL )

When you know better, you do better Momma!

Tara


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

Oh, I definitly don't avoid this forum for fear of being ridiculed or that I don't fit in, but it is hard for me because I still haven't come to terms with it. I don't cry everytime I change my sons diaper, I don't feel guilt everytime I look at his penis, but it hurts so deep inside that coming here brings it all to the top and I usually end up crying. Luckily it has gotten easier, but it is still hard.

I have read the sticky, and I am pretty sure I posted in that one, or in a similiar one about my 'story'. I know I am not alone and I know there are a lot of woman who come here who have circ and now regret it. But I am sure there are also woman who don't frequent here because it is so hard.

I think that everyone who posted in this thread has an intact son, or at least, not an unitact son. It doesn't mean that I don't pay more attention to my sons penis than the intatct mothers, which is sort of what I felt the OP was saying. Eventhough I am sure she didn't mean it like that, but that is how I preceived it. I definitly was not trying to throw the thread off topic I just wanted to state that my son is unitact and that I examine him just as any attentive mother would.


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## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

no worries. i was just trying to get opinions. i had absolutely no preconceived info on the question, so it wasn't a test or anything. my friends who circ, don't talk about it. possibly it is because they know my son is intact and therefore they just don't talk to me? very possibe. so, just trying to get some opinions. the questions i asked were just thoughts i had that might explain it to me.

thanks for all the opinions. if anyone else, with intact or not son has any other ideas, feel free to share!


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

Don't feel bad, my friends and I don't talk abou it either. However, out of my 10 closest friends, only one other has a boy.


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## Paddington (Aug 25, 2003)

well, of my friends who had children (there are 10 kids) only 1 was a girl and only 2 (mine included) didn't circumcise....


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## wtchyhlr (Oct 15, 2002)

All my friends w/lil boys circ'd. I didn't. I ask questions here because I personally don't have a foreskin, much less a penis, and I figure the people here know more than i do about them.
that said, I don't think I look at DS;'s penis anymore than i look at, oh, his fingers, and if something doesn't look right... it doesn't look right....


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## bremen (Feb 12, 2005)

i think the main reason that the posters on this board know more about the details of their son's penises is because they post on this board! most of you with sons have diaper-wearing ones, so when somebody asks a question, and you read it, at the next diaper change, you think about what the other poster said, and pay attention! it is the boards themselves that make the posters here more aware.
i mean, let's say this was a board about teething, and parents asked so many questions every day about teething, and all of the posters spent time every day thinking about gum issues, and stuff. i bet then, the posters would know everything there was to know about their kid's teeth, just because it was brought up so much!


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