# More than one gift from Santa?????



## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

I am so so frustrated!!!! We moved to a new community, and apparently all the kids in dd's class, get two to three gifts from santa!!! What the *&*^%!
Can't we all agree to just one? I'm for the magic of Christmas, and have never gone over board, one gift from Santa, one gift to each child, and one family gift. That's it, done!!!! So now, dd is asking why do some kids get more from Santa? Are they better than her???? I think it's time to tell her the truth!!!!
Any insight???

Truly,

Mamasoleil


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

I am freaking seeing things right??? Is this THE mamasoleil???

OMG!







!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

Yeah, it's me Charmy, I'm back!!! Missed this community so much!!! I've been thru a LOT of CRAZINESS since I've been gone...but I'm back baby!!!


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

I also see my sig, it's so old, but still, so right, more than ever!!!


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## charmarty (Jan 27, 2002)

good to see ya back! Life does take it's turns but we usually ALWAYS end up right where we ought to be inspite the zigs and zags along the way


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

:bump
I really want to hear other people's thoughts on this!!!


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

:bump


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

I guess there's no bump smilie anymore?


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## rabrog (Dec 20, 2005)

Santa's sleigh isn't big enough for multiple gifts per kid! That's just nuts!

Jenn


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## FreeThinkinMama (Aug 3, 2004)

We don't do santa(as in we don't plan on having her believe he's real) and growing up santa skipped my house(I was poor). I just assumed that people who did santa had all the gifts addressed to the kids from santa. In the cartoons and movies I always see santa coming down the chimney and leaving a lot of gifts or all of the gifts, not just one each. I'm biased but I would explain that santa isn't real and just a fun story.


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

I think she's onto the fact that santa doesn't really exist. Actually, I think she knows deep down, but she's not quite ready to let go of the fantasy. I will let her leave it when she's ready...
but, I won't buy into this new pressure!


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## zo's ma (Mar 4, 2003)

If I could go back, knowing what I know now...we'd only do one "hand made" gift....like the elves would make, if there WERE elves









I don't think it's anything new, my parents did it.....most of the gifts are from Santa, we give them PJs on Christmas Eve and one gift in Christmas Day. We have really cut back in the last few years but it still seems like too much!


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## roxyrox (Sep 11, 2006)

We don't do gifts from family members - all the gifts are from santa. My lo is only 2 so likes unwrapping things so I have got a load of little things!


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

We don't do Santa but growing up all the gifts were from santa so I guess it's not a completely new practice.


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## oyemicanto (Feb 11, 2005)

When I was growing up, we got many gifts from Santa, waiting for us under the tree. We do the same with our kids - it's not a major haul like you see on tv, but this year they are both getting a game, a couple of small toys, a few books, and a remote control car that DH bought them (I could have done without that one)

I think we all have very different traditions, depending on where we are from and how we grew up and how we interpret/change/keep those traditions for our own children.


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## tboroson (Nov 19, 2002)

I think it must be a cultural thing. Growing up, we got piles of gifts. I've seen photos of my Dad at Christmas when he was a kid, and he had several new gifts; and they were *very* poor. My Mom's old Christmas photos also show her with numerous gifts, though her family wasn't as poor.

I thought I was breaking with tradition by only providing a *few* gifts instead of a huge pile!

My parents and grandparents saved most of their toy buying for two occasions: Christmas and birthday. We didn't generally didn't get new toys year round. I think that might be a big cultural difference here. I'm a little different, spacing out new toys throughout the year a little more and buying things when I feel they're needed or appropriate (like if one of the kids takes a developmental leap, or if summer rolls around and one of them has outgrown her bicycle).

So, I take a middle ground on the Christmas and birthday toys issue: I buy/make one primary gift (i.e. a puppet theatre, a train table,) a couple of related smaller gifts (i.e. one or two new puppets, train pieces), one or two stocking stuffer gifts (something to fill the stocking other than candy, though I do give them a few pieces of chocolate); Then I give non-toy things: books, clothing, art supplies, sports equipment (dd1 is getting a new helmet for her bike because she outgrew hers.) That last category are all things that I would buy/make for the kids fairly indiscriminately through the year, so I don't feel bad filling up their pile with a few of them so they have lots of packages to open.


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## StephandOwen (Jun 22, 2004)

We've always done all the gifts are from Santa. Mom and dad are too poor to buy gifts for the kids







Seriously, that's what I believed when I was younger. Now that I have my own ds, all gifts are still from Santa, but he doesn't quite get that concept yet so I don't know if I'll stick with it or not. For this year he doesn't give a darn.

Oh, and Santa also sneaks in on Christmas Eve while we're visiting family and leaves one gift on the bed (a pair of new pj's) then he comes back after kiddo is asleep to leave everything else


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## onlyzombiecat (Aug 15, 2004)

When I was growing up Santa left several gifts each at our house. My parents went overboard at Christmas. With dd, we only give her a few gifts anyway and Santa (or the Christmas Schnauzer) brings her one thing plus fills the stockings.

Maybe the real problem is kids these days being encouraged to count how many gifts they got and also getting bigger more expensive gifts.


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## LDSmomma6 (Oct 31, 2003)

MamaSoleil~

In my family, we do the small things from Santa. Santa brings new panties/underwear/boxers, new socks, Poke`mon cards, CD's, DVD's, little Hot Wheel cars, lip glosses, dolls, legos, nail polishes, toothbrushes, cool toothpastes, new CD ear buds, you know...the small things that they would need or want. Oh, and for older kids, deoderant, new shower supplies, stuff like that. But most of all, Santa brings candy, and it's not the cheap candy...it's the "NAME-BRAND" candy because that's the only time "he" knows that my kids never get a lot of candy.









And then for under the tree, it's the clothes, shoes, guitar (oldest DS asked for one), large-type toys, jewelry boxes, etc... But this year they are getting 2 things each under the tree...Oldest DS is getting 2 DVD's and the guitar. Next 3 are getting jeans/shirt and 1 toy item/or something they need, and 2 younger ones are just getting 2 small toy items each. That's it. That's all I can afford.

HTH...


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

MamaSoleil, it is so nice to see you!









Put a : at the end of that "bump" and you'll get the smilie.

We don't buy toys indiscrimantly just to make a big pile. We get one toy, and then an accessory to go with toys she has like a train or a wooden kitchen item and a book.

In stockings we have five kids to coordinate between my sisters and I, so that tends to get a little complicated.









From dh and I she gets 1 toy, clothes and a book.

But..we all stay at my mom's during Christmas so they all have a pile anyways.







:

Anyone who goes *overboard* on their Santa stuff is warned severly, between three families of kids we are supposed to be consistant. Usually there is some sort of argument while the kids are asleep. *you have too much Santa stuff! Wrap some of that from you!*


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## Super Pickle (Apr 29, 2002)

Mamsoleil,
Just stick to what you've been doing all along.

One gift from Santa is plenty. Don't you think that too many gifts just overwhelms children anyway?

Some ideas:
- You could write a letter to your dd "from Santa" and put it with the gift, acknowledging the ways she's grown over the past year and the things she should be proud of. He can tell her why he picked out this special gift just for her. "Santa" wrote me a letter one year and it meant so much to me. It's the only thing he ever brought me that I actually remember. So what if other kids got 4 presents, your dd got a personalized letter! Santa really cares about her.

- If you're wondering what to do about her questioing Santa, you could tell or read her a story about St. Nicholas and how his spirit of generosity and love for children has carried on through all these years. Talk about how the spirit of St. Nick lives on differently in every country and every home. I think she can interpret it in her own way--still "believing" in a real person if she is still at that stage, or chosing to embrace a new understanding of Santa-still magical and wonderful but not make-believe. I've always phrased it this way, and read my kids the stories of St. Nicholas, and so far (6 and 3), they choose to believe in the make-believe way.


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## bobica (May 31, 2004)

we do 1 gift from santa. my friends do all the gifts from santa.

oh, in our house, santa doesn't wrap the gifts!


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

I want most of the credit. So, Santa doesn't get much credit here (maybe one or two gifts).


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## bullfrog (Feb 19, 2003)

My husband and I differ:

He wraps all the gifts from "Santa" (one or two per child) - and I'm from the school where you don't wrap gifts from Santa and they are displayed in a dramatic fashion in front of the tree decorated with bows on Christmas morning. (I really really really like the looks on their jaw dropped faces with the tree lights glowing on to them.)

And no, we have not reached a compromise, so, needless to say - I have occasionally over supplied my children at Christmas with toys. Because we do both -and there isn't any resentment - he thinks I'm silly and I think he's silly and who cares? However - there have been a couple of years where I totally over do it and it sometimes leaves me feeling a little empty inside. So - don't do it if you think you shouldn't.

DD's BFF wakes up to many wrapped gifts under the tree and she and her brother can only open 1 of them on Christmas morning, one the next day and so on - sometimes she's opening gifts until early Feb. I personally couldn't stand the delayed gratification. But she's a perfectly happy well adjusted child so







: .

ETA: I realized long ago that DD wouldn't always get everything that the other kids got from Santa. She asked for a pony one year and said "Well Santa brought one to Channing - so it's not too expensive for Santa." I came up with the idea of telling her that whatever Santa brought her we would have to pay Santa back for it. That way he can continue to bring toys to kids whose parents didn't have any money at all - since we were able to pay we would. And of course there are some parents who could afford a pony - and those parents definately have to pay Santa back.


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## apmom (Sep 9, 2004)

My children are allowed to pick 3 things for Santa. I have 3 kids and that makes 9 gifts! I grew up with my grandparents and they didn't have a lot of money but, every year, I got everything that I asked for. They didn't do gifts for birthdays or anything and I didn't get much through the year. That's exactly what I do w/ my kids. For b-days we go out to dinner. That's it. But I tend to go all out on Christmas because I don't buy for anything else(and the extra things are arts and crafts that I want them to have). It all depends on you and what you want. My kids know that Santa brings different numbers of gifts but, don't care because they know they are lucky to get 3.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

We do one Santa gift, plus cheap, small stocking stuffers (this year I got 4 or 5 toys out of the $1 bin at Target, they had really cute wooden cars and stuff!). But Mama and Daddy do maybe one or two toys and clothes (I tend to go a bit overboard on Christmas) and Santa brings the HUGE longed for toy so he's the Hero. *shrug*


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

MamaSoleil- so good to 'hear' your voice!! I miss so many people I used to 'see' so much of around here.

Santa only bring 2-3 gifts in our house and he has other rules too like no live animals, or toys that mom doesn't approve of. However last years a kid in his school got a puppy. So I told him that his mom must have said it was Ok. However that doesn't help w/ the number of gifts does it?

Are kids just more savvy today? We didnt have a lot money growing up so while there was a lot under the tree it was mostly things we needed like a winter coat, mittens, hats, undies and then just a few small gifts and everything was from Santa. My cousins were loaded and they got tons of stuff like bikes, all the "hot" gifts and really big toys but it never registered that Santa might like them better. Except for my trauma of not getting the dancing ballerina of which I have never fully recovered from









I think if a family has wonderful traditions and you make the day special that's ultimately what the kids remember.


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

That's a tough one!

We also only do one gift from Santa - after all, his sleigh is only so big and there are all those children around the world Santa has to deliver to (consider the reduced fuel economy too large a toy sack would create!







).

YK, for us Santa's a great model of equality (theoretically, all kids get toys/gifts - theoretically) and generosity (what a great guy/group to devote their lives to the bringing of joy [albeit material] to children everywhere). I can see where some kids can receive a huge bounty of santa gifts and not have it be negative, but I think for others it's just feeding into commercialism and materialism.

To the specifics of your situation, I don't know what to say. That's really tough. I suppose you could "flex" your tradition and pony up a couple of extra santa gifts if you really want to maintain her belief. Or you could tell her the truth. Or you could tell her that parents have a say in what Santa brings and that all families are different and the values of your family include asking for one gift.

My mom took me to santa at the mall when I was a kid to have a photo taken. I love these momentos, so have maintained the tradition. The kids are allowed to ask for ONE thing, that's it. And we discuss it in advance, to avoid the ponies etc! This year DD wants a sewing machine (the kids' Singer) and he wants a guitar







(he'll get a ukelele). These will be their big gifts.


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

When I was a kid all the presents were from Santa.

We've never specified around here. I just label who it is for, not who it is from. Ds has never asked.


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## annekevdbroek (Jun 5, 2005)

Santa brings 3 presents to DS - small, medium, and large (whatever is the biggest/best we have for the year). We give DS another 3 gifts or so (small, med, largish), plus Santa does the stocking.

Growing up we had most of our gifts from Santa, as did most of my friends. Last year was actually the first time I ever heard of Santa only bringing one present! Our neighbors do this.... So, no, not everyone only does one present from Santa and some of us are shockingly ignorant of that practice!







Santa wraps the presents here, but apparently there are also many homes where the gifts aren't wrapped (this was also news to me last year.)

Regardless of the number of gifts Santa brings - I think the point of not going "over board" isn't too be lost. I feel very sad when I hear about debit and stress associated with holiday spending and "having" to buy gifts.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

When DH was growing up Santa only brought candy for the stocking, no presents at all! All the presents were from MIL and FIL.


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## ~ATenthMuse~ (Mar 16, 2003)

Santa has brought multiple gifts some Christmases, but we've decided to do just one from him for each kiddo, from here on out. Santa came by our house the other night, and dd asked him specifically for one gift, so that's the one he'll be bringing... guess he'll be taking the credit, too.









Dh & I could buy them nothing and his parents, my mom, & ds's g'parents, would have it covered.

I love the season, but I'm not liking the gift-giving these days.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Santa brings just about everything.


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## Brazilianmommy (Aug 3, 2006)

Around 5 presents from Santa(Big presents) this year and some of us, the family and friends, but we say they're from Santa.
She's 18 months, she doesn't know the difference


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

I've never heard of anybody doing more than one gift (plus stockings) from Santa, honestly. Since someone mentioned the tv shows and movies, I guess that's true - they do usually show Santa dropping off a whole bunch of stuff at each house.

OP: I think if your dd is questioning this, and feeling that Santa picks favourites, it's time to tell her that Santa gifts actually come from her mom.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *joensally* 
My mom took me to santa at the mall when I was a kid to have a photo taken. I love these momentos, so have maintained the tradition. The kids are allowed to ask for ONE thing, that's it. And we discuss it in advance, to avoid the ponies etc! This year DD wants a sewing machine (the kids' Singer) and he wants a guitar







(he'll get a ukelele). These will be their big gifts.

This is interesting. Does everybody make sure their kids get whatever they ask "Santa" for? We've never done that. When I was a child, I saw Santa as being just like everybody else in that respect - he can be told what you want, but that may not be what you get. I do the same thing with my kids.


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## mama2toomany (Oct 17, 2005)

ok well I would just get her what you are used to getting her... we don't do santa so I am probably no help here sorry! WB


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## KayleeZoo (Apr 8, 2003)

I'm beginning to see the non-fantasy, more practical and complicated side of Santa this year. Growing up, Santa left maybe 10 unwrapped toys under the tree for me, and they were big items on my list. Then there were mountains of wrapped gifts from my parents, grandparents, etc. With my 3 dc, we do several unwrapped gifts from Santa, plus 3-4 gifts per child from us. However, I have heard my 6yo talking with classmates, and I could tell that there are some kids who get very little, if anything from Santa (the kids who volunteered this info. are kids that are known to come from lower income families than the rest of their classmates). My dd wants a set of uneven gymnastic bars for Christmas







: and when I told her that it was much too expensive, she cheerfully replied that she would ask Santa. We've had conversations about how Santa can't bring unlimited numbers of toys/very large and expensive items to everyone, but she wonders why not- if the elves make the toys, there is no expense involved, so why should economics figure in at all? And when I told her about the Holiday Helper project and how she and her sister could sacrifice some of the gifts they would be getting to help other children, she was happy to comply, but was sincerely puzzled why those children wouldn't be getting any presents- as far as she knows, Santa goes to everyone's house, and no kid should be without presents on Christmas morning because of Santa.







It's hard stuff now that she's older *sigh* I do wish there was some sort of "Universal Santa" protocal that all parents adhered to, though. I think it would make things a LOT easier in terms of kids comparing what they got/didn't get from Santa. I have to think that there are some kids who don't get Santa gifts because of financial reasons, and it makes me feel awful that those kids are thinking, "I wonder why XYZ in my class got all those toys from Santa, and I didn't get anything?"


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## cheer mom (Mar 12, 2006)

Wait, I want to make sure that I understand this--you want to make sure that everyone in your neighborhood only gets 1 gift from Santa and you think that all parents should agree to a set number of Santa gifts.







:







: You want to dictate the number of labeled Santa gifts for your whole neighborhood? Do you live in a communist country? I honestly have never heard such a rediculous statement. I'm not sure whether to laugh or to enraged.

I'll tell you what, you take care of your family and I'll take care of mine.


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## Sativarain1 (Feb 27, 2003)

Christmas is getting way too commercial. I wish there wasn't so much comparison in giftgiving between both kids and adults.


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## HelloKitty (Apr 1, 2004)

When I was a kid Santa spoiled me rotten. I use to do the same with my kids, did it with the older ones for years. But a few years ago I decided NO MORE. Santa is cheap now







Each kid gets one gift from Santa and a couple of gifts from us and that's it. And the Santa gift is always made of wood - like could be made in an elf workshop.


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## Sagesgirl (Nov 22, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaSoleil* 
I am so so frustrated!!!! We moved to a new community, and apparently all the kids in dd's class, get two to three gifts from santa!!! What the *&*^%!
*Can't we all agree to just one?* I'm for the magic of Christmas, and have never gone over board, one gift from Santa, one gift to each child, and one family gift. That's it, done!!!! So now, dd is asking why do some kids get more from Santa? Are they better than her???? I think it's time to tell her the truth!!!!
Any insight???

Truly,

Mamasoleil

Am I reading you right? That bolded part? I'm seriously with Jennifer on this. My head is







:. No, we _can't_ all agree to just one. That's the beauty of life in a republic. You do as you feel best for your own family. And so do I. And so does everyone else. We're not the Borg, here. You do one Santa gift, I do none, and several other people do lots. If you can't handle that, then yeah, I'd say it's time to end Santa (at least as the arbiter of gift-giving; plenty of mamas do Santa as a symbol of the season).


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## StandswithStrength (Feb 24, 2003)

Goodness.

The idea is nice, but the reality is not. Every family is so different. We all come from different places and traditions and beliefs. If someone asked me to only give one present to my child from Santa I would not agree to do that. We don't "do" Santa that way.

Regardless of my beliefs or my neighbors beliefs on how to gift at Christmas, it is our individual right to gift how we choose. If the kids are wondering "why", then we each (as parents) need to come up with a way to explain it to our children or out the mystery of Santa.

Just my 2 cents.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

don't most school age kids know there isn't a santa? I know when we were in school and talked about what we got for xmas we didn't say which ones were from santa and which ones were from everyone else. Most of our presents (too big to wrap) were from "santa"


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## morgansmum (Feb 4, 2005)

When I was a child all of my gifts were from 'santa' . Dh always had the one gift from 'santa' and the rest were from his parents. With our kids we are now doing what Dh's family did. (Dh doesn't want the big guy to have all the credit







)

I agree though that there are so many differences in the way families do things that there will never be a norm in this catagory.


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
This is interesting. Does everybody make sure their kids get whatever they ask "Santa" for? We've never done that. When I was a child, I saw Santa as being just like everybody else in that respect - he can be told what you want, but that may not be what you get. I do the same thing with my kids.

This was tagged to my post...and I should clarify. We chat casually about what they want, and if it's big and/or expensive, we talk about the size of the sleigh to swing them around. We love the book "if the world were a village of 100 people" (unicef) and the notion of each child getting _one_ present works in that context. Without going long to explain, to me I like the idea of a child getting what they ask for from a very special fellow who's mission is to bring joy to the heart of a child (won't insert wretching smilie here). It's not just about a guy in red flooding the world with presents in a happenstance way to me. He's a thoughtful guy







.

Snort...DS blew mom's fantasy world away today. Yesterday when he saw santa at the park (community xmas lights thing), he asked for the guitar. So, he figured that covered the guitar. Today, he drew a picture of some invention of his that at varying time included hot wheels, a dinosaur, a gun for shooting







, a truck for moving dirt, and a bunch of other stuff...well, he gave that to santa, and advised me forcefully in the line waiting for our turn that santa's giving him 10 presents.

Needless to say, he'll get the guitar from santa, and he _won't_ be getting the big destructo invention.


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## joensally (Jun 19, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sagesgirl* 
Am I reading you right? That bolded part? I'm seriously with Jennifer on this. My head is







:. No, we _can't_ all agree to just one. That's the beauty of life in a republic. You do as you feel best for your own family. And so do I. And so does everyone else. We're not the Borg, here. You do one Santa gift, I do none, and several other people do lots. If you can't handle that, then yeah, I'd say it's time to end Santa (at least as the arbiter of gift-giving; plenty of mamas do Santa as a symbol of the season).

I read the OP's tone to be venting. As in carp, I've got a pita situation and gotta figure my way out. Similar to "why the heck can't everyone else just stay home Saturdays so the mall's not so busy!"


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## simonee (Nov 21, 2001)

We don't do santa so I can't help you, but just seeing your name made me feel like friggin Santa came into my house


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## kristenok18 (Jun 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Super Pickle* 
Mamsoleil,
Just stick to what you've been doing all along.

One gift from Santa is plenty. Don't you think that too many gifts just overwhelms children anyway?

Some ideas:
- You could write a letter to your dd "from Santa" and put it with the gift, acknowledging the ways she's grown over the past year and the things she should be proud of. He can tell her why he picked out this special gift just for her. "Santa" wrote me a letter one year and it meant so much to me. It's the only thing he ever brought me that I actually remember. So what if other kids got 4 presents, your dd got a personalized letter! Santa really cares about her.

- If you're wondering what to do about her questioing Santa, you could tell or read her a story about St. Nicholas and how his spirit of generosity and love for children has carried on through all these years. Talk about how the spirit of St. Nick lives on differently in every country and every home. I think she can interpret it in her own way--still "believing" in a real person if she is still at that stage, or chosing to embrace a new understanding of Santa-still magical and wonderful but not make-believe. I've always phrased it this way, and read my kids the stories of St. Nicholas, and so far (6 and 3), they choose to believe in the make-believe way.

I love this!







Thank you for posting it.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
I want most of the credit. So, Santa doesn't get much credit here (maybe one or two gifts).


We don't "do" Santa but this cracked me up (whether it was meant to or not).


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## A&A (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Periwinkle* 
We don't "do" Santa but this cracked me up (whether it was meant to or not).

















We started out doing Santa, so we still do Santa, but the more I think about it, it does irk me. I work hard to make the money (and so does dh), then we spend a lot of time picking out things they would like, wrapping them, getting excited, etc., and then some anonymous old guy gets the credit! So, the "Santa" presents have decreased and the "Mom and Dad" presents have increased.


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## mamamilkers (Nov 11, 2005)

Growing up we always got several gifts from Santa. I don't even remember an incident where I compared how many Santa gifts other children got.


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## thekimballs (Feb 5, 2004)

Are you worrying about Santa in particular, or about the increased materialism (many, many gifts per kid) in your new community? I think there you could really be addressing a genuine issue, because if your kid comes into class and says "I got mittens and a doll for Christmas from Santa and my mom," and everybody else says "Wow, your Christmas sucks, I got a PS3 and a new computer and Barbie Mermaid Lagoon Fantasy Island and Butterscotch the Live Pony," you're going to have to address that. In many communities that list of presents is not too far off--I remember kids in my class getting presents like $200 in a card (when they were ten! In 1980!) or word processors, and I got three books and some personalized pencils (though never misspelled







).

In my house we don't have a number of gifts; we have a budget. So one kid may get ten little gifts and the other may get one "big" one (our budget is pretty small, so "big" is like $50, not $300). Santa occasionally brings gifts, but they would be frivolous or funny, not serious. We handle materialism by saying, "Look, every family is different. Your dad and I love you so much that we've made different choices for you--look at the x,y,z that we do that is very different from the way your classmates live. I know it feels unfair now, but I bet your friends sometimes think it's unfair that you have [lots of animals, a mom who is home, etc.]" We also understand the holidays in a religious context, which won't work for everyone, but we really do work to have the kids understand that if they're concentrating on presents they're thinking pretty shallowly.

I hope you can work it out to everyone's satisfaction!


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cheer mom* 
Wait, I want to make sure that I understand this--you want to make sure that everyone in your neighborhood only gets 1 gift from Santa and you think that all parents should agree to a set number of Santa gifts.







:







: You want to dictate the number of labeled Santa gifts for your whole neighborhood? Do you live in a communist country? I honestly have never heard such a rediculous statement. I'm not sure whether to laugh or to enraged.

I'll tell you what, you take care of your family and I'll take care of mine.

Wow, okay...it was a thought. I guess I'm just some dreamer that in a perfect world, all would be perfect I guess.
Maybe it's just the naitivity that I've managed to hold on to in my 31 yrs of life, that everyone is good, and that maybe, one gift from Santa is plausible, that no child is left feeling...less. But anyway...
Seeing as that is obviously laughable for you Cheer Mom...
My dd and I had a fabulous chat, and she knows Santa is not truly real, but has decided to continue with the magic of it. And thankfully, she as I is a beautiful naive soul who sees the true beauth of life, and has told me, that as long as we are together as a family, the magic of Christmas lives one.
To those who were respectful, and gave me their thoughts, I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the different ideas out there. Thank you for sharing, the specialness of Mothering!
Truly, and peacefully,

Mamasoleil


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaSoleil* 
that maybe, one gift from Santa is plausible, that no child is left feeling...less. But anyway...

But for that to be possbile there would have to be a spending limit on that one gift as well.


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## party_of_seven (May 10, 2004)

I find that we have gravitated to the same thing. Only 1 gift per child is a Santa gift now. My oldest was having a very hard time having gratitude and taking care of the things that Santa had brought her. In her mind they were "free", so she thought she didn't need to care for them in the same way she would need to care for a toy that mom and dad had bought her. (she was 7-8 when that all came about) I don't understand her reasoning at all. I don't shower my children with toys all year, and I don't go overboard for Christmas either. She's learning....and you can bet those tags clearly read "From MOM and DAD"









Quote:


Originally Posted by *A&A* 
We started out doing Santa, so we still do Santa, but the more I think about it, it does irk me. I work hard to make the money (and so does dh), then we spend a lot of time picking out things they would like, wrapping them, getting excited, etc., and then some anonymous old guy gets the credit! So, the "Santa" presents have decreased and the "Mom and Dad" presents have increased.


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## RubyWild (Apr 7, 2004)

We give half the gifts, Santa the rest. The number of gifts from Santa depends on expense. This year Santa is giving one big present. Other years it has been 3 smaller ones. I don't know what other families do.


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## oyemicanto (Feb 11, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaSoleil* 
*Wow, okay...it was a thought. I guess I'm just some dreamer that in a perfect world, all would be perfect I guess.
Maybe it's just the naitivity that I've managed to hold on to in my 31 yrs of life, that everyone is good, and that maybe, one gift from Santa is plausible, that no child is left feeling...less.l
*
*
*
*
That's lovely, but I'm still left wondering why you think one gift per child is "perfect"? That leaves me confused - it feels like you are implying those who do more than one gift are somehow not good - you are imposing your version of Santa on everyone else and I think it's very unfair. It is a make-believe fantasy for children, some choose to participate, some do not.

I'm also left wondering - does that one gift have to have a certain monetary value, does it have to be a particular type of toy, et cetera, et cetera... I'm not trying to be snarky, and I'm glad you worked out the whole thing with your child, but I don't think that the whole Santa myth was really coming out of a place of making every child feel equal...if that was the case we could all just agree to buy a pair of socks and be done with it.*


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## cheer mom (Mar 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaSoleil* 
Wow, okay...it was a thought. I guess I'm just some dreamer that in a perfect world, all would be perfect I guess.
Maybe it's just the naitivity that I've managed to hold on to in my 31 yrs of life, that everyone is good, and that maybe, one gift from Santa is plausible, that no child is left feeling...less. But anyway...
Seeing as that is obviously laughable for you Cheer Mom...
My dd and I had a fabulous chat, and she knows Santa is not truly real, but has decided to continue with the magic of it. And thankfully, she as I is a beautiful naive soul who sees the true beauth of life, and has told me, that as long as we are together as a family, the magic of Christmas lives one.
To those who were respectful, and gave me their thoughts, I thoroughly enjoyed reading all the different ideas out there. Thank you for sharing, the specialness of Mothering!
Truly, and peacefully,

Mamasoleil

but you are implying that there is something bad about more than 1 gift. And what about the families that don't do Santa at all? I guess they would now have to. There is nothing wrong with having Santa give one present, just like there is nothing wrong with Santa giving 10 presents, or however many the parents decide, but that's the thing--it's up to the parents to decide. It's not up to the neighbors, the teachers or the government to decide. I guess I see this as so ironic because many people at MDC are so concerned about individual rights and freedoms, yet here is someone saying that we should have a rule about 1 present. Irony?

And the other thing is that there are so many ways to "explain" the number of Santa gifts to your dd, I wouldn't tell my dd about Santa if that was my only reason. Also, as long as your dd got the thing that made her happy--then why worry about the number of presents?


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## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)

We don't *count* the number of gifts we give to DS. We give him what our heart tells us to give him and what we *want* him to have.

Yes, this year got 1 big gift from Santa and more gifts. Some "gifts" included books and crayons and a couple of items for the $ Dollar store. Stocking stuffers if you will.

And he will get more gifts from family members and friends which we can't control what his loved ones want to get as well and we will be grateful and appreciative for their thoughtfulness.


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## momto4littlemen (Dec 7, 2006)

Growing up my parents gave us the "pratical" gifts.. clothes and things like that, Santa gave us toys.. not alot but there was always at least a few, mostly just something we really wanted.

I do the same with my kids.. well DH wont give the boys clothes but we buy them something special from us. and Santa brings the rest.

My oldest (8) doesnt believe in Santa, but he plays along for his younger brothers.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cheer mom* 
but you are implying that there is something bad about more than 1 gift. And what about the families that don't do Santa at all? I guess they would now have to. There is nothing wrong with having Santa give one present, just like there is nothing wrong with Santa giving 10 presents, or however many the parents decide, but that's the thing--it's up to the parents to decide. It's not up to the neighbors, the teachers or the government to decide. I guess I see this as so ironic because many people at MDC are so concerned about individual rights and freedoms, yet here is someone saying that we should have a rule about 1 present. Irony?

And the other thing is that there are so many ways to "explain" the number of Santa gifts to your dd, I wouldn't tell my dd about Santa if that was my only reason. Also, as long as your dd got the thing that made her happy--then why worry about the number of presents?

I think you are taking her comment too seriously. She wasn't actually speaking of setting a Nation Wide Santa Gift Guideline.


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## amamaslove (Sep 18, 2005)

Do you think this comes down to geography, ancestory, religion, tv time?

Santa brings lots and lots of gifts to our house. He brought lots and lots of gifts to both my dh's house and my house when we were little. (early 70s) He also brought many gifts to my parent's houses when they were little. (1930s) We are from the Northeast, Catholic (some recovering), and of Irish descent. We did not have a tv growing up, my kids watch tv here and there.


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## ktmelody (Aug 14, 2006)

My kdis are 9, 8, 3 and 1 .

They ALL believe in Santa.

Santa brings all the presents to our house. The kids get presents from grandparents and from my brother and SIL. They get one from my dh and I.

My kids dont get anything but new clothes throughout the year, so I spoil them on Christmas. They make a list, and I try to stick to it within my means.
I dont buy guns or cell phones, and I try to get books and learning toys.
But i dont put a limit on how much they get.


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## antannie (Jul 5, 2006)

We have a similar tough situation. Our daughter has sisters who are fostered with my sister who goes WAY over the top IMO. and because all 3 girls were fostered by her at one time she tends to give them each the same thing. Like each a china doll and each a stuffed animal in different colours etc. S! I said we are keeping it simple as we always have and I called my sister to make a suggestion for a gift. She wanted to give her some sort of robotic pet that you have to respond to all the time and i said NO. My daughter would like one of course but we have cats and dogs and sheep and she is getting a bunny so NO. I don't belive in those kind of toys. DD also wants a game boy game so I asked my sister to give her that because she has a long bus ride everyday and likes to play her game on the bus in the morning. I haven't figured out how many from Santa. I have always given just one handmade gift to my nieces and nephews and they really appreciated it.

As for knowing about Santa, well she is 12! but she supervises the kindergarten class at her school at lunch time and she told us they are so excited that it makes her believe. In our family Santa still brings us presents but they are little things for our stockings. And I am 53! and I LOVE my stocking. Santa is alive in our family as a spirit and particularly likes to give a wonderful stocking. We all get stuff and secretly put it in the stockings and it is lots of fun. Tops and tiny puzzles and windups are particularly important and there is a formula. Mandarin orange in the toe, handful of nuts in the shell, hard candy that gets all hairy in the stocking and then the little gifts, some wrapped and some unwrapped. We don't question why! Terry's chocolate oranges are usually coveted too.


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## RiverSky (Jun 26, 2005)

Wow, I've never even heard of anyone getting just one gift from Santa, I admit. As a child, once we started to "count" gifts amongst friends, we already knew that there was no Santa. Prior to that, we didn't count. Well, by then, it was always obvious that my 5-10 gifts were far less than what any of my friends got (and cheaper, too). On Christmas Eve, we would go to my grandparents' house and get to open any gifts from aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, there.

As for us, we have always given the children 10-20 Santa gifts and we don't even bother with gifts from us. We take care of birthdays, Santa does Christmas. Actually, we do get each child one gift for opening on Christmas Eve, and those are always pajamas. We also, get family to come over on Christmas Eve and the children get to open any gifts from them, or gifts that have been sent in the mail from family or friends.

I'm Canadian...does that account for the difference?

No...because my American born DH always got huge, massive piles of gifts from Santa, as did his 7 siblings. All the gifts would fill a room, nothing would be wrapped, just stacked in 8 piles around the room with a name tag on each huge pile.

I do like the idea of one gift from Santa and the rest being from family, it makes sense, it's just too late for us to change our traditions now, since our children still strongly believe in Santa and are old enough to remember if we change anything. I always loved the magic of Santa when I was a child.


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

The kiddos ask for one gift from Santa. Anything else they get is from us, and it's never much. This year it's about half a dozen items each, total. Most very small. We're completely broke, and the only way we are able to get them anything is that my ILs sent both DH and I $100 each, which we immediately spent half of on the girls. The other half will go towards paying bills, unfortunately.







It would be nice to be able to take the family out to dinner with the other $100, but it's just not possible this year!


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

Santa gives only one toy to each child in our house.

As children, my sister and I were given 8-10 gifts each from Santa, and I just think that is OVERLOAD. But our kids only get about 5-6 things each all together for Christmas.


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## DragonflyBlue (Oct 21, 2003)

We've kind of solved this issue by telling the kids mom and dad have to help pay for what Santa brings them. After all, there are so many kids out there, Santa is not a bizillionaire, so we have to help him a bit.

Some kids get more because mom and dad can afford to spend more. Some kids get less rom Santa because they can't afford a lot or because they'd rather get the gifts for their kids rather than have Santa bring them.

My kids get one biggish gift from Santa, stockings and maybe some new books. The nicest gifts never come from Santa, always from mom and dad.

Not sure if this helps, but it's how we do it here.

Janis


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

We always had tons of stuff from santa and mom and dad. Heck we sometimes had gifts from Santa Mouse or from our cats or dog too.









THEN Santa went to Grandma's house too....

-Angela


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 
Heck we sometimes had gifts from Santa Mouse or from our cats or dog too.








-Angela

Me too and I carry on the tradition. We give gifts to and from our 2 dogs. Santa also does stockings for the dogs. (as a kid our cats always got a can of tuna fish!







) As a kid my mom always received important gifts from "the phantom" and we received gifts from Rudolph. I think I need to do a Rudolph gift for my son this year. We bought too much and I can't break the 3 from Santa rule now...


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## Minerva (Jul 7, 2005)

We're thinking that Santa will fill stockings (one per person in the household, including us), and the rest is tagged from family members. For example, the husband's stocking stuffer for this year is the Darth Tater toy he wanted badly for his Star Wars collection, and I had asked for some kitchen stuff (a new whisk being my #1 item). Abby's too little for small parts, so she doesn't get a stocking this year.


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## MamaSoleil (Apr 24, 2002)

So crazy to think that all this time I thought people did things the same way!
How...small of me?
Interesting to see how everyone does it!
Peace,

Mamasoleil


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## shimmerMom (Nov 25, 2005)

I'm here in BC too and Its one present and a stocking here. The kids each get one larger present from Santa and a stocking of fun little gifts and then one gift plus a pair of pajama and slippers from us. The other gifts come from family and friends.


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

We do multiple Santa presents . . . I think here is the first place I heard of people doing only one. I actually sorted today and each kid is getting 5 from Santa and five from us . . . just worked out that way, as the little one is too young to care about them getting equal numbers.

I bought a lot this year . . . there was just a lot I wanted them to have.


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## raleigh_mom (Jan 11, 2004)

In our home, Santa fills the stockings. Presents are from family. Except sometimes my MIL sends presents and marks them from Santa. Usually the grandparents send something and sometimes aunts/uncles. Then DH and I give one or two small or moderate gifts to each child. This year we are planning on giving each of them a sleeping bag.

I haven't had any questions from dds. She seems to take it in stride that each family is different.

We really try to be careful at Christmas - one year the kids really got too many gifts and ended up in tears with overstimulation. Now we try to just enjoy the season and take it easy with gifts.


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## Dechen (Apr 3, 2004)

This is the first time I've ever heard of Santa only giving one gift! No one I grew up with (and we were poor) got one Santa gift. Even if the presents were cheap and not that exciting, my parents always made "Santa's" visit look festive and rich. Having a bunch of things to unwrap was magical.









I wonder if this is a regional thing, the different ways of doing Santa?


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## wife&mommy (May 26, 2005)

We don't do Santa here. But I have asked around to my friends how they decide which gifts are from Santa and which ones are form parents just because I was curious, and the majority of them said ALL were from Santa. A few said just the big ones, etc. but none of them said one. When I grew up almost all of my gifts were from Santa. My mom and dad got the boring stuff like clothes, etc. but Santa brought all the good stuff.


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

I've honestly never considered counting Christmas gifts for my child. Actually, I remember my own parents emphasizing that the number of gifts wasn't important... I'm sure they tried to be generally equitable, but sometimes one of us wanted a big thing, and another wanted more, smaller gifts.

For Rain, the stocking gifts are "Santa gifts", but they're generally small things... nuts, hair stuff, chocolate, socks, stuff like that. For the rest, I've always just put my name on a few and Santa's on a few, and out mine out earlier and Santa's for Christmas morning. I'm pretty sure my parents did things the same way.

This year we sent my brother and sister a lot of smaller gifts - my brother in in Kuwait and needed small and/or edible things - and they each sent us one gift each... and that's okay.

I'm not comfortable with legislating or judging how people give or don't give, as long as the giving is out of love...

dar


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

This will be ds' third Christmas. Last year I decided it would be one Santa gift, and it will always be wooden or handcrafted Well, in my perfect vision at least; we'll see how long I can get away with that. When I was little I was very suspicious that the elves were making the same darn plastic thing that could be bought in stores.

I'm with ya, one gift from Santa. But, it will probably always the "big" gift. Santa is far too busy to to do more than one per child.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Oh, the stocking is stuffed by Santa as well. And when he gets a little older, Santa will be sneaking in and putting the stocking on the bed, ds will be allowed to open it as soon as he wakes up in his bed. A little tradition contrived by Mom to get a more sleep.


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## KayasMama04 (Feb 4, 2006)

All of DDS gifts are not really labled...she doesn't even like Santa


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## RomanGoddess (Mar 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *RiverSky* 
As for us, we have always given the children 10-20 Santa gifts and we don't even bother with gifts from us.

20 gifts? For each child? Wow!

A fellow Canadian


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

For anyone dealing with their kids being overwhelmed by presents by well-meaning grandparents or whatever, we do two things that have REALLY helped this situation (we have a HUGE family plus my kids are the first grandchildren so my kids do get lots of presents, something we are both grateful for and find challenging as being deluged by STUFF is definitely not consistent with our values)...

1. Prior to Christmas, the kids and I go through their toys and books and fill at least one good-sized box EACH with toys etc. they no longer play with regularly. We talk about giving to other families and what this means. Then they come with me to Goodwill to donate it.

2. The day after Christmas, I put away HALF of their presents in a big storage bin in the attic. The older ones help choose what goes in. Then we bring out a toy or book every few weeks or so, or if we go on a road trip or something. When one toy comes out, another one goes in. This really helps for those "rainy days" and also helps keep clutter down.


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

In my house Santa is bringing the things I know my DD would love, but just can't bring myself to buy her -

The pink sparkle WEDGIES for a 3 yo are coming from Santa. She will absolutely adore those shoes, but mother can't bring herself to give her 3 yo high heeled shoes. Mom has bought her black sparkle shoes, black sparkle purse and matching headband. These can be worn with her christmas dress.

When my sibs were little santa brought and decorated the TREE as well. That tradition went out the year the trees sold out and my father had to buy two sad looking shrubs. He drilled holes in one and glued extra branches onto to fill it out. (You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried!). I think mom convinced Dad that Santa could decorate the tree, and that tradition had dried up by the time I came along!


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## AmyAngel (Dec 3, 2004)

I haven't read all the replies, but my family was definitely on the poorer side when I was a child, and we always got several gifts from Santa, plus full stockings. We might only get one gift or maybe two (usually clothes) labeled as from the parents, but "Santa" brought several things (his were left around the tree unwrapped, and were toys and fun stuff).

I think my mom saved up and bought stuff whenever she could find it on sale through the year, and stored it at my grandparents house next door. One year we all (3 of us) got bikes, plus some other smaller toys. It was usually one "main" toy (like a Cabbage Patch Kid, Barbie house, bike, something like that) and a few other less expensive toys. I know Santa brought more than one toy each to her family when she was a child, too. One of my grandmothers said she only ever got one toy a year, but she's the only one I'd ever heard the one-toy thing from!

We never got much of anything through the rest of the year, anything we wanted had to wait until Christmas or birthdays. She might buy us a small inexpensive toy or book if we were sick and needed something quiet to occupy us, and maybe put a small book or toy in our Easter baskets, but that was it!


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## HeyJoe (Dec 9, 2006)

For now, things are simple here. DS1 is not old enough to even "get" santa... all he will care about is the excitement and fun on Xmas morning. We bought a ton of toys, but at this age they are more for me than him. I get bored playing with the trains all the time... I like some variety in my play. And all he wants is someone to play with him, so my present to him really is toys I'll like playing with him with which will make it more fun all the way around.

I'm begining to think we won't "do" santa at all. Twice we were in positions where DS was given the opportunity to sit on "Santa's" lap, and twice we were proud that DS was not about to sit on some strangers lap.

I think I'll read him the Frank L Baum version of Santa and tell him that when he gets gifts from "santa" it is really just a gift from a person who is trying to be like Santa in spirit. That all Santa gifts come from the most generous part of people, the part that loves to see someone else smile and be happy. That way if the relatives or school wants to give Santa gifts, my boys won't be confused or disapointed.

But we'll see.

ETA: One year I was so "bad" I got a lump of coal in my stocking and no gifts. I was around five y o . They did give me gifts eventually but they hid them at first. All my brothers presents were still under the tree. My parents still think it was funny though. I guess at the time I didn't care as much as I think I did. I didn't even remember it until they told the story, but now I will always feel sorry for that little girl.


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

In my family, Santa filled stockings, he didn't bring presents. I only heard a few years ago of the idea of Santa bringing wrapped presents, and I still find it bizarre!







Oh, and we never actually believed in Santa, although it was always a mystery to us how our parents could fill the stockings without our noticing. One year I woke up too early and they were still empty when I checked.







We got miscellaneous stuff ... candy, nuts, fruit, small toys, jewelry for me, basically anything small enough to fit. There was usually an apple or an orange from grandma's fridge in the toe, which went right back into the fridge and didn't get eaten because we didn't like fruit that much.









My husband's family apparently does wrapped gifts from Santa, though, so I don't know what we'll be doing with our kids. My son is only 21 mos. and doesn't really understand the concept of Christmas yet.


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## MommytoTwo (Jun 20, 2004)

We have 3 gifts that are from us - the rest are all from Santa. I dont get why its a problem.


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## littlemizflava (Oct 8, 2006)

was what my mom did now i do is one main gift then a stuffed toy then a thing or two small then things in stocking cheep stuff bday packed stuff from dollar store


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## Decca (Mar 14, 2006)

When I was small, Santa brought everything, the presents, the stockings, even the tree. Then my grandparents would bring more! I don't remember when I stopped believing.

In my husband's family, Santa brought one big present and the parents supplied the rest. This is how we've chosen to proceed. We're not doing the concept of "Santa is watching you and knows if you've been good or bad" (blech), and I think one big present is enough to keep the magic of Santa while accounting for the fact that some kids do get more than others.


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## vermonttaylors (May 17, 2005)

The "big" presents (the one with the wow factor, ie. train set, doll with stroller and crib) along with the stockings come from Santa. Each child gets one "big" present (and accessories if they are appropriate.) Then mom and dad get them a few smaller presents like puzzles, books, stuffed animals or something else that suits them. We try not to go too crazy. They get one or two presentsfrom their grandmas on each side and they have a gillion aunts and uncles, so we really try to enforce the "keep it to a minimum, people!" rule. It works great and they have a chance to explore and really play with each gift.

I lovew Christmas.


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