# omg!! child protective services?? you gotta be kidding....



## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

So I didnt know where else to post this but here goes.

a few weeks back my mom was watching DS while I was at work like always. My mom has been dealing with depression for a long time, probably all her life but its never been a major issue. She also has anxiety. at any rate she was taking my brother and sister (teens) to school and I guess was feeling particularly stressed and even though she had an appointment that weekend to try some new depression meds I guess that wasnt soon enough and she checked herself into the behavioral/ mood disorder place to get immediate relief. Mind you she had my son at the time. It wasn't a big deal... except for the fact that once she checked herself into this facility they would not let her leave... Dunno why I guess its just the policy there. So she could not bring me back my son. So she called me at work and I left early to pick him up.

apparently one of the workers in this hospital took it up on themselves to call child protective services saying that DS was in danger and there was a threat against him. The story they gave cps was that my mom was driving in the car and had a bottle of prescription drugs or something and that she was suicidal and was going to overdose and do harm to DS. This story was completely fabricated and way exaggerated. They even reported my son was 10 years old when in fact DS is not even a year. at any rate I had cps show up at my home yesterday ask me a few questions. They obviously closed the case because it was all wrong but they did ask me for my ssn# dl# and DS doctor's info. I asked if this case was against my mom because ds was in her care and she said no its was against me for possible neglect... but obviously that was not the case and thus the case is being closed.

I am so upset, shaken, stunned... I mean, words escape me. I am overprotective of my son to begin with. DD was stillborn and I could not live with anything happening to DS so I tend to be a little over protective with things, not extreme but more that your average mama. I do the attachment parenting, co sleeping, organic food, You get the idea so for cps to show at my door was insulting.... oh not to mention she asked me if DS vaccines were up to date. I am doing delayed and selective vaccines.... she questioned this and asked if I was putting DS at risk and so forth. I explained my beliefs and views and informed her that DS dr is aware and is in agreement to work with me on this alternate schedule. she seemed ok with it. but im still concerned that since she got my info (ie ssn and dl #) that I will always be on record of having a past case of neglect... it should be thrown out all together. Im also concerned that now they are going to contact ds dr and not let me continue my delayed and selective schedule because of some flag on his file. Its not the law to get vaccinated so Im guessing I still have a say, Im just worried. I understand if they see anything out of the ordinary they should call but I hate that this could effect us so negatively when I/ we did nothing wrong. Anyone know how this might effect me?

Ive been upset by this so much I wasnt able to eat dinner or sleep at all last night. Just cry.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

I don't know how it might affect you, but I'm surprised someone from the psych center called. I was in a psych hospital last year, and I asked before I checked myself in if it would open an investigation because I'm DC's primary daytime caretaker. My doctor told me the only 2 reasons are that 1) I refuse help or 2) they believe I'll hurt my children. I'm wondering if perhaps the workers thought it was different because he wasn't her son, so you were leaving him with someone who was suicidal. Perhaps they thought you knew and left him anyway, or it may just be standard if you bring children with you.

It's standard not to let people leave once they check in. You can insist and leave against medical advice, but that's not typically a good idea. (Plus insurance won't pay for anything then.)

I think, though, if the case gets closed, then there is a record that there was a case but it was closed. But my understanding is that if there's ever another complaint, it will show that you had this one. Beyond that, I don't think it really affects you much.


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

That sounds soooo scary! I would be really upset about the vaccination thing, too.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I wonder if there was a clerical error mixing up your mother with someone else, since there were so many mistakes in the report.


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrandiRhoades* 
Perhaps they thought you knew and left him anyway, or it may just be standard if you bring children with you.

yes this... they _thought_ I knew ahead of time this would happen (how on earth could I have known) and still left him.... obviously after speaking with me they saw that was not the case.

I hate that if something would come up this would still be on file.... although I dont anticipate anything else EVER coming up with cps again. I just hate that.... I feel tarnished... 8( its not fair. Im a bit confused too because the report said she was suicidal and she obviously was NOT suicidal.


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
I wonder if there was a clerical error mixing up your mother with someone else, since there were so many mistakes in the report.

I wish this was the case.... I even thought so too because not only did they list my son as 10 yrs old when he is less than a yr but they also said my mother lived at home with _her_ mother. I dont even live with my mom, I live next door but not with her... but somehow they got her name, my sons name, my name and my cell # to contact me. I find this so odd because I didnt give anyone there my info when I picked up my son and as far as I know neither did my mom. I rushed to get my son asap and he was only there maybe a total of 30 min which says a lot since I drove from hollywood to west covina in LA traffic so its not like I didnt care to show up or take my time...

Im still just so distraught.... Im going through a divorce too and boy would STBX love to know this scoop.... sheesh....


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

Oh mama, I am so sorry. And how unfair to have to be dealing with this so close to the anniversary of dd's birth and death. (((hugs))))


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommyto3girls* 
Oh mama, I am so sorry. And how unfair to have to be dealing with this so close to the anniversary of dd's birth and death. (((hugs))))

thank you for noticing that.... yes DD would have been 2 on monday... not to mention DS will be 1 in about 3 weeks....


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## jeliphish (Jul 18, 2007)

why did your mom not call you before she checked herself in?


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jeliphish* 
why did your mom not call you before she checked herself in?

thats a great question, guess she didnt think of it. but we had to learn the hard way....


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## mommyto3girls (May 3, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *organicpapayamama* 
thank you for noticing that.... yes DD would have been 2 on monday... not to mention DS will be 1 in about 3 weeks....

Lots of emotions to deal with there.

Maia was born 10 months after Sierra died, it is both joyous and hard to have a subsequent baby come that close after a loss.


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## karika (Nov 4, 2005)

Perhaps the center called because once your mother checked in, he was unattended and they had to call due to that since they are a mandated facility. The discrepancies are strange. I want to know if you have a father listed on the birth certificate, if you birthed in a hospital and if you are on govt assistance. Because I also had CPS knock on my door shortly after dd2's birth and it sent panic waves through me as well. I am hoping we can use this thread to talk about our episodes with CPS and compare notes.

When dd2 was about 5 days old, the doorbell rang. a woman was at the door and immediately identified herself as a public health nurse. I asked her to come in. She told me right away that I had been reported as doing something that could harm my baby while at the hospital. Someone reported that when they came into the room, they did not see the baby in its isolette and asked me where she was and I pulled back the covers and said, "Here she is" as if she were under the covers fully, between my legs. What actually happened was I had dd in bed with me (as I did the whole time I was in hospital, except when i had to pee or dress) she was between my legs, with her head resting on my crotch. I had the cover pulled only up to her chin and I was fully awake. I also had my other dd in the room with me. So, she visited and asked me questions (but not about vax) and asked me if I wanted to participate in their home visit program. She talked about how we would go over baby developmental milestones and how great it was because she brings a scale to weigh baby. I told her politely that I thought it would be a waste of the taxpayers money and the methheads needed that more than me. Oh, and she asked me about my placenta. I had told the hospital staff I wanted my placenta, but they forgot and took it to the place where they destroy them supposedly. but why was that mentioned to her? She saw I live in a nice, clean home (my exdh lets me live in his spare bedroom since I was homeless), she saw me interact with the children, found out I had a child die of SIDS previously. She was ok i think really, becasue we talked about EC and she had heard of it from a colleague that had travelled to China. She had also sewn her own sling 30 yrs ago before anyone knew of them because LLL advised her to. So she was slightly crunchy at least... but I just had a hard time believing anyone would think I was harming my child by having her in bed with me. Since I had been on food stamps(until I moved in here, you cant get food stamps at all if you live with the father of any of your children without taking their income into it, which SUCKS!) and had listed as homeless at least once, then I did not put a father's name on the BC, So I wonder if it is something they do to those that don't list a father's name? or decline vax? She said early on, "CPS does not want your children, they don't want to take anyone's children" Well, it had never been in my thought pattern that they would until she came to visit! It really freaked me out. I was terrified for at least a month(I still keep the blinds drawn on the front and would not answer the door if anyone knocked on it). I take excellent care of my children, but I do not use western medicine or vax, I am natural... anyway wanted to let you know I was scared too, I feel you. I would die if anything happened to my children. I am so blessed to have exdh in my life. He has a beautiful home, and keeps it clean. He is also the epitomy of the word 'stable' and used to be a police officer. He has said he would adopt my dd2 if anything ever happened to me. He is a wonderful man. I have heard of so many AP mommas say they lost their children, well I wonder if it is a concerted effort? I too feel how weird it is that there is a report somewhere with my name on it, even if it was dismissed. When she left, she forgot some info, (my baby's name) and called me (yes she had my address and cell number too, but i list it as my phone everywhere) and when we hung up she said, keep up the good work, momma. but wow... is this america? I am so tired of us alternative people having to feel less than and that we are fighting for our and our children's rights to live naturally. One day, the truth will reach everyone and we will be the wayshowers....


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

mama you will drive yourself crazy if you try to figure out the what's and why's.

the case is closed. try to close it yourself.

you have no idea how many open and shut cases there are out there. i dont know the exact statistics but it is HUGE.

i have dealt with it too. in fact i got a wonderful worker and we became friends.

so yeah i have a file too but i dont worry about it. with the past political situation and the patriots act if someone wants to screw with you they can pull out anything. your social or DL is not secret knowledge to any office of the govt. i figure they will find some way to lay their hands on it. my case says wrongful accusation. pettiness btw separating couple. next time ex tries calling on me they will really assess everything before pursuing it.

though some of CPS is horrendous, not all of it is.

you have enough in your life. close this door. dont worry about everything.

be informed. study about your rights when CPS comes knocking. for instance you have the right to refuse them entrance. legally.

i know its horrible. hugely disrespectful!!! but its finished!! over!!!

please, please take care of yourself. you are your only thing. only you can take care of yourself. no one out there is going to find out if you have eaten or not. the timing is horrible. i know. but please dont think about this anymore. get your anxiety down.


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *karika* 
Perhaps the center called because once your mother checked in, he was unattended and they had to call due to that since they are a mandated facility. The discrepancies are strange. I want to know if you have a father listed on the birth certificate, if you birthed in a hospital and if you are on govt assistance. Because I also had CPS knock on my door shortly after dd2's birth and it sent panic waves through me as well. I am hoping we can use this thread to talk about our episodes with CPS and compare notes.

When dd2 was about 5 days old, the doorbell rang. a woman was at the door and immediately identified herself as a public health nurse. I asked her to come in. She told me right away that I had been reported as doing something that could harm my baby while at the hospital. Someone reported that when they came into the room, they did not see the baby in its isolette and asked me where she was and I pulled back the covers and said, "Here she is" as if she were under the covers fully, between my legs. What actually happened was I had dd in bed with me (as I did the whole time I was in hospital, except when i had to pee or dress) she was between my legs, with her head resting on my crotch. I had the cover pulled only up to her chin and I was fully awake. I also had my other dd in the room with me. So, she visited and asked me questions (but not about vax) and asked me if I wanted to participate in their home visit program. She talked about how we would go over baby developmental milestones and how great it was because she brings a scale to weigh baby. I told her politely that I thought it would be a waste of the taxpayers money and the methheads needed that more than me. Oh, and she asked me about my placenta. I had told the hospital staff I wanted my placenta, but they forgot and took it to the place where they destroy them supposedly. but why was that mentioned to her? She saw I live in a nice, clean home (my exdh lets me live in his spare bedroom since I was homeless), she saw me interact with the children, found out I had a child die of SIDS previously. She was ok i think really, becasue we talked about EC and she had heard of it from a colleague that had travelled to China. She had also sewn her own sling 30 yrs ago before anyone knew of them because LLL advised her to. So she was slightly crunchy at least... but I just had a hard time believing anyone would think I was harming my child by having her in bed with me. Since I had been on food stamps(until I moved in here, you cant get food stamps at all if you live with the father of any of your children without taking their income into it, which SUCKS!) and had listed as homeless at least once, then I did not put a father's name on the BC, So I wonder if it is something they do to those that don't list a father's name? or decline vax? She said early on, "CPS does not want your children, they don't want to take anyone's children" Well, it had never been in my thought pattern that they would until she came to visit! It really freaked me out. I was terrified for at least a month(I still keep the blinds drawn on the front and would not answer the door if anyone knocked on it). I take excellent care of my children, but I do not use western medicine or vax, I am natural... anyway wanted to let you know I was scared too, I feel you. I would die if anything happened to my children. I am so blessed to have exdh in my life. He has a beautiful home, and keeps it clean. He is also the epitomy of the word 'stable' and used to be a police officer. He has said he would adopt my dd2 if anything ever happened to me. He is a wonderful man. I have heard of so many AP mommas say they lost their children, well I wonder if it is a concerted effort? I too feel how weird it is that there is a report somewhere with my name on it, even if it was dismissed. When she left, she forgot some info, (my baby's name) and called me (yes she had my address and cell number too, but i list it as my phone everywhere) and when we hung up she said, keep up the good work, momma. but wow... is this america? I am so tired of us alternative people having to feel less than and that we are fighting for our and our children's rights to live naturally. One day, the truth will reach everyone and we will be the wayshowers....

wow its funny you should bring that up. I did actually put stbx on the bc. however he left when I was 6 weeks pregnant with DS so he has not been our lives since. I also happened to to lose my job shortly after so I had to go on calworks (aka foodstamps, cash aid and medi-cal). At the hospital they had no problem whatsoever with my delayed and selective vaccines. no one even mentioned it to me. I did not get visited by any social worker at all. so this came out of left field to me. as for your first statement about DS being unattended. He was never for a sec out of the care of my mother. She actually took him in there in the stroller and was with her when I picked him up so that is def not the case. Im still not sure why they even made the call because if they really feared for his life why would they have allowed her to keep him till I got there?

btw Im so sorry about your baby who passed from sids... I dont think she knew about DD because she was not term but she did hint at the question if I had any other kids and I kept saying no. dunno. And yes I find it very odd that she would be informed about the placenta and then go on to question about it....

the social worker did take a quick look at my place which isnt big and said it was nice and clean and then asked to see where DS slept. I cosleep so I thought she might have a problem with it but she saw the railings on the bed and was fine with it. nothing said. one thing that did bug me just a bit is that I had the door open (with a screen) and there was a lil bit of a cool breeze (not that cool its LA) and I was sitting on the couch with the social worker talking with DS on my lap and she said do you want to close the door? And I was like not really but if it bothers you Ill close it. And she said it wasnt for her but for DS, like it was too cold for him. Our apartment has horrible insulation and is always HOT. so a fresh breeze is always welcome. On top of that both me and DS get hot very easily. I even put a light blanket on DS when he is asleep and he wakes up covered in sweat so I know he is like me with heat so I knew it was ok. but she made me feel a little bad like I was doing something wrong or questionable... gosh... I hate the feeling of walking on eggshells when parenting my own kid. Trust me lady I know whats best for me and my son, after all, you just met me how much could you possibly know about me... **sigh**


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## organicpapayamama (Dec 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
mama you will drive yourself crazy if you try to figure out the what's and why's.

the case is closed. try to close it yourself.

you have no idea how many open and shut cases there are out there. i dont know the exact statistics but it is HUGE.

i have dealt with it too. in fact i got a wonderful worker and we became friends.

so yeah i have a file too but i dont worry about it. with the past political situation and the patriots act if someone wants to screw with you they can pull out anything. your social or DL is not secret knowledge to any office of the govt. i figure they will find some way to lay their hands on it. my case says wrongful accusation. pettiness btw separating couple. next time ex tries calling on me they will really assess everything before pursuing it.

though some of CPS is horrendous, not all of it is.

you have enough in your life. close this door. dont worry about everything.

be informed. study about your rights when CPS comes knocking. for instance you have the right to refuse them entrance. legally.

i know its horrible. hugely disrespectful!!! but its finished!! over!!!

please, please take care of yourself. you are your only thing. only you can take care of yourself. no one out there is going to find out if you have eaten or not. the timing is horrible. i know. but please dont think about this anymore. get your anxiety down.

thank you, very nicely put. although as you know its easier said than done. but I know its true. Im sure I just need a little time to let it sink in... after all this happened less than 24 hours ago! wow!


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## Ironica (Sep 11, 2005)

Been there, done that too with a totally spurious CPS call. ;-) Same jurisdiction, too!

In our case, a freak at the grocery store decided I was abusive because I put the cart in the stack with DS1 still in the seat. The part he apparently missed was where he REFUSED to get out of the seat until I put the cart in the stack! So then I had to put away five other people's carts so I could *get* my cart to the stack, and was pissed off about that and my 3-year-old who wouldn't get out of the cart (and, being six weeks pregnant, didn't have the energy to wrestle him out against his will).

Now, if my son had been crying or upset or appeared to be hurt, I could understand, but he was happy and fine (until this strange guy starts haranguing his mom, and actually reached out to try to TAKE HIM OUT OF MY ARMS... which closed him up a bit). The guy followed me to the car (where DH was waiting; I wouldn't have gone there otherwise, and in retrospect, shouldn't have anyway) and he called the cops and gave them our license plate. A few days later, I came home to a business card from a social worker.

I actually appreciate living in a world where these calls are taken seriously and investigated, though. I called right back, and then packed up DS and went down to the office that very afternoon to do the interview. The social worker, once she found out more about what was going on (they didn't even pass on the whole story) pretty much decided she needed to go through the motions and not press things. She didn't interview DS separately, or inspect his body for bruises. She was supposed to come by the house when we were home to check for food in the fridge and a sleeping place etc., but we missed connecting a couple of times, so she didn't bother. We didn't come up against the vax issue because at the time, DS1 was totally on track but for MMR, and that was just barely a bit "late" (he still hasn't had it though ;-).

Yes, if there's ever another report against me, then this will pop up too... and if they're somewhat similar, that may trigger alarm bells. But there aren't *that* many crazies in the world, and I do believe that social workers are trying to do their jobs well, and that their job is to make sure kids are taken care of. I know I take care of my kids, so there ya go.


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## Lisa1970 (Jan 18, 2009)

I have had cps called on me too. You would not believe how many people have. Most people are just too embarrasssed. So many people feel they have the right to decide how to raise your children and will call and say whatever it takes to get you investigated. ((((hugs))) It sure leaves you shaken though, doesn't it?


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