# How do I get my 9 year old study without being harsh



## lorraine_miranda (Dec 28, 2016)

hey mommies, I am having a hard time getting my 9 year old to study. After 15 minutes of coaxing, pleading and threatening he agrees to come and study for 15 minutes. He is bright and gets away with studying just a few hours of studying a week but i am worried about how will cope when he gets older. 
Any tips from your experiences ?


----------



## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

What sort of study does a 9yo need to do? Is this homework set by his school teacher?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Xerxella (Feb 6, 2008)

If he's doing well in school and getting his assignments done, what more is there? Some kids are blessed with being able to not do a lot of studying, some aren't. I got away without studying up through junior high and then it hit me hard in high school. I didn't do well in high school but I was then ready to focus harder in college when I felt it mattered. It was a good overall learning experience because I've learned to regulate my work and time in my professional life. 


Have an open dialogue about your expectations and listen, listen and listen some more to your child's thoughts on the matter. IMO, don't make work for work's sake, but look for opportunities for your child to be challenged and then succeed. My 9 year old was similar until he hit this year in math. He's in the second highest math group and it suddenly took a little more effort this year. It was good. He got a D on a test and we sat him down and worked through what he wasn't understanding. The school threatened to move him down a math group and he really didn't want that. He was able to retake the test and he got an A. But, we're having to work through the material a lot at home. It isn't always fun, but it's good to see him challenged and rise to meet the challenge.


----------



## lorraine_miranda (Dec 28, 2016)

Xerxella said:


> If he's doing well in school and getting his assignments done, what more is there? Some kids are blessed with being able to not do a lot of studying, some aren't. I got away without studying up through junior high and then it hit me hard in high school. I didn't do well in high school but I was then ready to focus harder in college when I felt it mattered. It was a good overall learning experience because I've learned to regulate my work and time in my professional life.
> 
> Have an open dialogue about your expectations and listen, listen and listen some more to your child's thoughts on the matter. IMO, don't make work for work's sake, but look for opportunities for your child to be challenged and then succeed. My 9 year old was similar until he hit this year in math. He's in the second highest math group and it suddenly took a little more effort this year. It was good. He got a D on a test and we sat him down and worked through what he wasn't understanding. The school threatened to move him down a math group and he really didn't want that. He was able to retake the test and he got an A. But, we're having to work through the material a lot at home. It isn't always fun, but it's good to see him challenged and rise to meet the challenge.


Dear Xerxella, thank you for sharing this with me. It helped me see my worry from a different perspective. You are bang on - if he manages to do decently well with little or no study, good for him! As long as he's happy and enjoying his time in school and we as parents see overall growth in our boy year after year - all is well. Thanx again!


----------



## lorraine_miranda (Dec 28, 2016)

katelove said:


> What sort of study does a 9yo need to do? Is this homework set by his school teacher?
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Yes KateLove, it is home work given by the teacher. Either to read or write or just plain revise what was done in school.


----------



## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

I would maybe have a chat with his teacher about whether he actually needs to do it. The evidence about the benefits of homework in primary school is pretty poor. Children are much better off being able to play and be active when not at school. If it were my child I'd probably suggest that we read together and then not worry about the rest. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## annibe11e (Mar 27, 2017)

Hi Lorraine, 

I know some of the responses you've gotten question whether he really needs to do this studying. I'd like to offer different advice. I have a 17 year old that struggles with studying and I wish I had enforced good study habits early on. My child had ADD, so this might be a different situation from yours and may not apply. Our strategy right now is that we go through his homework and break it up into portions, usually by class. He does one portion and then plays one game on his computer (computer is his number one hobby). This goes really smoothly for us.


----------

