# I had a miscarriage



## onehipmomma (Nov 19, 2001)

I had a m /c last week followed by a D&C. I chose to have the D&C as the last time I had a miscarriage it took a month for the bleeding to stop and I didn't want to do that again.

I am so frustrated right now. This is my 3rd m/c. I feel so alone, and sad. I feel like those I know IRL are thinking "what's the big deal, here we go again" I feel cheated. I do everything I am supposed to do when pg, I eat well, I excersise... Why me, why again? I am so tired of ppl saying "at least you have your son" why don't they get it? Why can't they understand that this is not about him??? I wanted that baby so badly!! We were trying for soooo long. My heart is broken.

I know you don't have the answers, I just needed to vent to those who understand.

Thanks.

Christina


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## 4cuddlebugs (Jan 18, 2002)

You are so strong. Please be careful w/yourself, it is so hard to not blame yourself.
I have had 4 m/c's and one was at 22 wks. I have gone on to have 3 healthy pgs since.
I know how frustrating other ppls comments can be, they don't realize that comments like that can hurt even more. It is sooo hard to understand unless you have been there.








More hugs to you!


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## ladylee (Nov 20, 2001)

I understand how you're feeling, onehipmomma.







Just wanted to give you a hug--be gentle with yourself.


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## emmaline (Dec 16, 2001)

those comments can be so hurtful, but you know (and we understand) what you feel and how badly you are hurting

please take care of yourself


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

((((Christina)))).


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## seagan (Jul 5, 2002)

Christina -- I had a miscarriage last week, too (10/10, at 9 weeks along), and also have a son already (27 mos.), so I'm right here with you. I know exactly what you mean about how unrelated this feels to my older son, though it is true that I have found his presence and good health immensely comforting -- I'm sure this would be 10 times harder if I didn't have him to come home to and hold. Nursing him has also been a great comfort, although bittersweet too, as it so immediately and concretely reminds me of our loss. He's at his most babylike and tender at those times, and it's almost as if I see a newborn in my arms when I gaze at him as he nurses.

That said, we've made the decision to try to wean him over the next few months, just so the breastfeeding doesn't have to be a factor to worry about when/if we try again. I know, I know, there's no evidence that breastfeeding is to blame, but deep down something is telling me that in my case, I'm unable to maintain a pregnancy and breastfeed. And there are other good reasons for trying to wean now, including how ready DS seems for it. I'll only do it if it seems to be going well, though; I certainly won't force it.

Anyway, I've rambled off into my own worries, etc. Mainly just wanted to let you know that I am out here traveling a path of sorrow right alongside you, waving a sad hello.

peace and healing to you,
darcy


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## queencarr (Nov 19, 2001)

Christina,

Just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your losses. If you haven't had bloodwork done to check for antibodies, it may be worth it. My dr. recommends testing after even one pg loss, as it is responsible for many m/c, as well as stillbirths mid and late term. It is readily and easily treatable from what he tells me. Again, so sorry for your loss.

Carrie


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## Britt (Nov 19, 2001)

(((((((onehipmomma)))))))

Sending you healing thoughts....


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## susan61 (Sep 14, 2002)

(((((Christina)))))
So sorry to hear. Sending you healing energy also.


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## merpk (Dec 19, 2001)

So, so sorry for your loss ...

- Amy


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## mamaduck (Mar 6, 2002)

I've never been in your shoes -- but I can't imagine having any other feeling for you than sadness and concern over your losses. What a sad, sad, thing -- and you are entitled to grieve. And angry with anyone who sends you such judgemental vibes IRL! I hope that you find compassion and nurturing in this time that you need it! Much love.


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## joesmom (Nov 19, 2001)

Love & light to you; we are here if you need to cry or talk or rant!

With Love, Jenny


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## onehipmomma (Nov 19, 2001)

Thank you for all of your kind responses.

Darcy: I pm'ed you.

I really appreciate everyones support. Thanks again.


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## tara (Jan 29, 2002)

onehipmomma, I am so sorry for your loss. I have had one m/c, before I had my babe, and it amazed me some of the stuff that came out of people's mouths. I think they thought it was reassuring to tell me, "You'll get pg again, I just know it!". I just wanted to shout back, "Maybe I can get pg again, but that doesn't fix this one! I wanted this one!"

I can't imagine how much more complex your feelings are after multiple m/c.

Please let yourself grieve and be gentle.


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## lisamarie (Nov 19, 2001)

I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. It is such a loss, it was your baby. Its sad that our society doesn't always acknowledge that. We are here for you and sending you hugs.

Much Love~

Lisa


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