# A challenge no one wants but I need help



## andersonsmama (Jul 26, 2005)

Yesterday I lost my son, he passed away Sunday early in the morning. We were a breastfeeding pair and co slept from birth. I have a very heavy supply of milk and I can't seem to get my milk to dry up at all. I've been trying to massage out the plugged ducts, but only pumping when the pressure is too great to bear. Are there any herbal teas anything I can try to get more comfortable, my heart is already broken from the loss of my 3 month old son. There is very little information on drying up your milk. Any information would be greatly appreciated.


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## chewynotcrunchy (Dec 19, 2010)

I am so so so sorry for your loss.









I don't have any helpful information for you, but I couldn't read and not post.

ETA: pseudoephedrine can cause a decrease in supply, I am not sure how it would help in your situation. Perhaps a call to your doctor or midwife? I believe there are prescriptions that could help dry your milk.

ETA: http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/html/lactation_suppression.shtml


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## Cuau (Jul 27, 2006)

hugs to you mama, my heart goes to you.

My sister was in a similar situation, she lost her 10 week old and had a heavy milk supply. She tried different things, but she finally found another newborn to nurse. Here SIL adopted a 2 mo baby a week after my sister lost her beautiful baby. I know it might be hard as well, but you may find a baby to nurse.

peace


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## Jules09 (Feb 11, 2009)

I lost my son too. I'm so sorry for your loss.









Drinking sage tea, applying cold cabbage leaves inside your bra, and tightly binding your breasts might work for you.

I'm so sorry.


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## elluin (Nov 5, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine your heartbreak.

Earth Mama Angel Baby makes a No More Milk tea with sage, peppermint and parsley.

Also, my grandmothers and aunts used cabbage leaves to reduce the engorgement that occurs while your milk dries. Place cold leaves inside your bra until they wilt.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you strength during this difficult time.


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## andersonsmama (Jul 26, 2005)

Thank you for the help. I'll be trying them today.


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## Katrinaquerida (Mar 24, 2008)

So sorry for your loss. hugs!


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## homemademom (Sep 25, 2009)

I am so sorry Andersonsmama.


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## andromedajulie (May 28, 2011)

Andersonsmama, you are in my thoughts. I don't have any suggestions but I am so sorry.


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## Megan73 (May 16, 2007)

I am so, so sorry for your loss of your sweet boy.
I used cabbage leaves when my milk came in after my daughter was stillborn at term but I didn't have an established supply like you. I would try ice packs and sage tea from the healthfood store.
If it would be healing for you - but only if it would make YOU feel better - you could donate any milk you pump to a baby in need through a group like Eats on Feets.
Thinking of you...


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## CheriK (Mar 18, 2003)

I am so sorry for your loss. What a horrible time you must be going through right now.

As already mentioned, sage, peppermint (oil, like in Altoids, tea usually doesn't have enough) and parsley are anti-galactogogues. Whole leaf dried sage herb (fresher the better, if it's been stored a long time it loses potency) can be steeped for 15 min to make a tea; use about 1 T per cup boiling water, drink about 3-6 cups a day. Avoid the essential oil, though, as it can be toxic! Pseudophedrine is sometimes used for decreasing milk production, but works best after about 4 months postpartum. Combination birth control pills can also decrease supply; your physician might prescribe a 4-7 day course of low-dose estrogen/progesterone containing BC.

You might need to express milk to comfort while your supply is dropping. Just enough each time to soften your breasts, and just as frequently as you feel full & uncomfortable. You don't need plugged ducts or mastitis right now, so moving some milk will likely help. Ibuprofen or other antiinflammatory for any discomfort you're feeling.

How do you feel about milk donation? For some moms, it's really comforting to know that your milk will go to help a baby who wouldn't get milk otherwise. For others, it's too much of a reminder of loss. Something to consider, though.

You are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.


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## RStelle (Jul 12, 2011)

I am so, so sorry. We lost a baby when my partner was 5 months pregnant and when her milk came in it was very difficult. I was so heartbroken, and I can't even imagine how it must be for you after having all that time to grow to love your baby even more. I highly recommend cabbage leaves. I will be thinking of you and the hard road ahead.


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## PatioGardener (Aug 11, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *chewynotcrunchy*
> 
> ETA: *pseudoephedrine* can cause a decrease in supply, I am not sure how it would help in your situation. Perhaps a call to your doctor or midwife? I believe there are prescriptions that could help dry your milk.


this worked really well for a friend of mine who lost her baby. she asked the pharmacist for the pills, and took them according to the maximum dose on the package, and slowly dropped the dose over a week until she didn't need to take any more.

i am so sorry for your loss.


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## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

I have no advice. I'm just very sorry for your loss.


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## andersonsmama (Jul 26, 2005)

Just as a follow up, the cabbage leaves were the most helpful. I live in a rural area and I could not find a sage tea and the sage I steeped wasn't very palette able. The psudefed did help some but I did get mastitis and had to take antibiotics. Thanks for the help, this has been a mother's worst nightmare.


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## APToddlerMama (Oct 5, 2009)

No advice, but I am so sorry for your loss . Wishing you peace and healing.


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## Mosaic (Jun 20, 2005)

Oh mama, I am so, so very sorry to hear that your beautiful son is no longer in your arms. I am also so, so sorry I didn't see this earlier, or I might have been more helpful. I am going to move this to our Loss boards, where there are other women who have been in this hearbreaking position and can share some love and advice. Of course, you are welcome to post here and anywhere else on the boards; but we PABL women have such a strong, loving forum, I think that you will find great support here. We have put together some resources that have helped us over time:

Lactation after a loss Mothering article

Empty Arms Bereavement Support brochure on lactation after a loss

A compilation of our PaBL resources

Although you seem to have made your way past this hurdle, I wanted to share these resources for any future members and also to show you where you can find more support, as this journey is one you shouldn't have to make alone.


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## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

No advice.

But I'm so sorry.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss (hugs)


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