# gentle sleep training, w/o CIO?



## abharrington (Jun 30, 2007)

ok...we are just about to lose it. dd is 14 mo old and still waking every 1.5 - 2 hours, crying, wanting to nurse. my milk is pretty much gone as i am 8 weeks prego and i have not a clue what to do to help dd. not to mention i am just a zombie from no sleep. dh is ready to let her CIO but i'm sure there has to be another way?

please help us....i know in the big discussion thread a few mentioned success with gentle sleep training ...i'd love to know what ya'll did/do.

dd falls asleep on dh's back in the ergo but lately she wakes up the moment he puts her in the crib. for the past 6 months or so she would fall asleep in the ergo, he would put her in teh crib and she would sleep till about 3, then wake and come and nurse and stay the rest of the night in our bed. now i just take her to bed with me and the night wkaing and nursing go from 9pm till 7am.

thanks mamas...i know many of you have been or are dealing with the same thing.


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

I'd try talking to her about it. Tell her that Mama is pregnant (she knows this already, right?), and that means your body has a lot of work to do, and so you need your rest. Talk to her about how big people go to sleep - and tell her the things you & DH do - rub backs, cuddle, read books, etc. Then start practicing these things with her during the day. Doesn't have to be at nap time, and don't change anything else up yet - just plant the seed. Practice & pretend & roll play how you cuddle before you sleep, after nursing. Then give it a try when you go to bed. I HIGHLY recommend co-sleeping, for everyone's sanity. I couldn't imagine getting up & down all night pregnant, let alone with a new baby, trying to get a child to sleep alone in a crib.

Anyhow, at night, try going to bed as usual, but if she is up for it, and agrees, before nursing to sleep, ask her if she'd like to try cuddling - if she's a go, then try cuddling - even for 5 seconds - then highly praise the effort, and nurse/do whatever else you normally do for sleep. Next night try again, and on & on each night, shooting for a few more seconds each cuddle session. NEVER force her to cuddle, or withhhold nursing, etc. It's just about INTRODUCING the idea of cuddling back to sleep, instead of nursing all night. When she picks up that you're excited about the idea, she'll be too. It might take a while.... it took my DD about 2 months to go from 45 minutes of walking/dancing/bouncing/singing/nursing to sleep each night (yep, our bedtime routine was ridiculous) & then up all night every night nursing marathons to 20 minutes of nursing and/or cuddling to sleep, sleeping longer stretches at night, and not always asking for milk when waking. It was a long, gentle, slow process, and it was on her terms. If she didn't want to cuddle that night, and wanted to do the normal stuff, we did, I didn't push. I also will suggest that if you currently sing to sleep before nursing, or rub her back before sleep, or whatever the current routine is, try to continue to incorporate most of that into your new routine, to ease the transisiton. I kept all the songs & the order we sang them in the same, just instead of doing it while bouncing on the ball, I'd sing while we laid in bed (that was my ultimate goal, really, just getting DD to fall asleep in bed, instead of 45 minutes of up/down on the ball or walking - I didn't even care at the time about longer stretches of sleep - that was just an added bonus!!).

Now... she WAS 24 months when we started this process (when I was pregnant with DS & knew I couldn't keep it up throughout my pregnancy, nor with a newborn), so that's a BIG difference in age from your little one. But the idea is the same - slow, slow, slow, and give her choices & options in the process.


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## abharrington (Jun 30, 2007)

thanks Ks Mama...i'm not sure dd understands i'm pregnant. we have told her and i point to my tummy and tell her a new baby is in there but she seems clueless. also, we are waiting to tell our family until 2nd trimester and after my lil sisters baby comes in may, so i don't really want dd talking about it just yet.

i did find this article http:// www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp that seems promising. i like the gradual approach and i do think that if she is no longer waking to nurse, she will sleep longer. i've also been letting her nurse much more frequently during the day the past 2 days. we were out of town the last week and so daytime nursing was not as often, just because we were around so many family and dd was distracted. i'm not ready to wean completely, but we all need our sleep at night. i know i have some milk as last night she went 6 hours and by then my breasts were full.

any other btdt advice? thanks mamas!!


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## crystalkr (Jun 29, 2005)

I know the last thing you have time for is to read a book, but the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly has a lot of great ideas. While it won't work "overnight" you may be able to see some results in a couple of weks. But all the approaches are really gentle and loving. HTH!!


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## PapayaVagina (May 11, 2002)

I'm in a similar boat and am not sure how much longer I can take it. My dd is 17 months old and wakes up on average every 45-60 minutes all night long and when morning comes she has to be nursing to stay asleep. We have tried NCSS, Dr. Sears' suggestions and have tried to night wean her twice which backfired and resulted in her waking up every 5-20 minutes and screaming (in our arms). She is very strong willed (to say the least) and I fear that there is nothing I can do to change her sleep habits







. I'm exhausted.


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