# Stories in the news



## julielp (Jul 16, 2004)

My soon-to-be mother-in-law was telling me the other day of a girl that looked to be around 15 and a women that looked to be around 30 went into a gas station bathroom. The store clerck said that the 2 girls came out the bathroom and gave him the key. When he went to clean up the bathroom that night he found blood everywhere and a baby stuffed down into the toliet. They had to take the toliet out just to get the baby out.

About a week before i found out i was preg I heard about a girl in my town that had a baby in her tub and threw it into a dumpster. It turned out I worked with the girl and she did a very good job of hiding her pregnancy. When I found out i was preg i wanted to slap her. I couldn't understand how she could do that. Her story was that she had a still born that came out brech and she was so scared and freaked out that she just had to get rid of it. My baby was only 21 weeks when I lost him and he came out brech. That was alot of pain and they had to put me to sleep to get him out. I just don't see her being in the tub and getting a full term baby out without damageing herself. They never found the baby, it had already been taken to a landfill when the baby's father turned her in.

How can people do this? Why is it that they are given children and don't take care of them?







: Why are we the ones who want them sooo much not given the chance?


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

This is really a tough area, isn't it?!
I stopped getting the newspaper and watching the news for about 6 months. I had just had enough of everything happening "out there". It hasn't been until this past month that I have began to watch the news...and only a tiny bit.
I used to get really worked up with all the news...I had to stop...it was too much for me. I would have dreams about horrible things happening to my two living children, etc...

Sorry Julie you are going through this...it really SUCKS and it is so hard.


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## painted horse (Jul 18, 2003)

And I'm ranting right along with you, lady....!!!!!!!!!

And why do women who do everything right and watch what they eat and don't let a drop of booze pass their lips and try to exercise and don't smoke and take all their supplements and educate themselves......why do these women loose their precious, much-wanted, anticipated babies? Why do they loose thier babies when drug addict mothers or mothers who smoke and/or drink more than they should while pregnant or mothers who are ambivilent about the pregnancy even after the baby is born......why do they get to "keep" their babies? I'm certainly NOT suggesting that these mothers ought to suffer a loss because of their life situations or life-style choices.......but wow, does it seem unfair sometimes!!! Sophia was perfect.....beautifully proportioned, 8lbs and 12oz of robust baby......except for the fact she was born dead. And what do you do? What can you do?

There is nothing you can do.......except surrender to the knowledge that there is SO MUCH beyond your control.....beyond my control.......SO MUCH Unknown.......and that dynamic of Surrender is soooooooo diffucult to achieve. When I say "surrender", by the way, I don't mean "helplessness". I mean just the acknowledgement of understanding, moment by moment, day by day, that there is so much we simply have no control over. Whether that is the sun rising in the east, which way the wind moves the clouds in the sky, the bus being late.....or the outcome of our pregnancies. So, so often, there are no guarentees. My DH just got this idea the other night. He realized that when we do start TTC again, he will be completly unable to control the outcome of the pregnancy. This upset him quite a bit. But this part of the grieving process is SO neccesary, I think, in order to integrate the experience of the loss and own it. Moving on from there is what I think what gives us ladies (and DHs) the strengh, hope and faith the try again. It it something that you need to come to terms with in order to find peace, I think.

Ok......enough thinking for me! Where did _that_ all come from? Maybe I'm channaling.......






























Peace to all,

Jen


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

In my constant quest to find meaning in the senseless things that happen (not that I personally believe there IS meaning in everything that happens) I asked a good friend who told me "everything happens for a reason" what possible good reason there could be for someone who wanted one so badly to lose a baby. I then told her about some of us here, all good parents who did their very best and would love these children unconditionally for their entire lives.
This was her response: "These babies are important to the world. We may never realize understand their purpose and their impact may not be towards us. However, if the 17 yr old crack addict "lost" her child, who would keep that babies memory alive? Who would mourn for him? Who would love them every day, even though they are not here to demand our attention?"
So all I can say is that if that is true, my job is to think about my lost babies on a daily basis.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

I know how hard this is. There was a woman who threw her newborn in the washing machine the week Amanda was born. Claimed he was 'unclean' and God told her too. I would have given anything for her breathing living son.

Many things like this stand out to us when we're pregnant and even more so after a pregnancy loss.

I'm sorry you had to hear this


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