# Heartbroken, my daughter was NOT abused an update.



## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

I picked up my daughter from Utah yesterday.

The police came to my
house and ended up detaining me outside for two hours with my daughter while waiting to hear from the Doctor in Utah and for CPS to show up to take my daughter.

I feel okay discussing this more now since it is false. I was told by my father's
girlfriend that the Ped. found signs of sexual abuse and I was told about
horrible scarring damage. The Police were going to remove my daughter because of this since they didn't know where it took place. Finally after 2 hours, the police heard back from the doctor that there was NO sexual abuse.

I am relieved, but also extremely angry with my father's girlfriend. False CPS
reports and police reports were made, and I was put through hell while she lied to everyone and anyone within earshot. My father was at work, so she took my daughter to the Ped. and told everyone that the Ped. had found signs of abuse. I was standing next to the police as they talked to the Ped. on the phone and were told that there was no abuse at all. The medical neglect is also pretty exaggerated, and is not a problem now. I talked to my ex-husband and he is okay with waiting on vaccines so that we can research them together and talk about this calmly when things are more settled down.[This is a seperate issue I posted about in the vaccine forum, my father and such were convinced my DD would not have gotten sick had she been vax'd]

Thank you for everyone's help. My father has apologized as has my ex-husband[for just being angry with me]. I'm not sure what her motive was but I am going to see if there are any repercussions for her actions. I will never forgive her.

Once again thank you for the good wishes!


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## SoCaliMommy (Jun 11, 2004)

Omg what a ordeal. I'm pretty sure she can get in trouble for filing a false police report.


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## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

I am SO SO glad that your baby was not abused, but what kind of monster would put you through the agony of believing that she had!?

I'm so sorry that you have been put through this whole nightmarish ordeal.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

*SO* happy to hear that your daughter wasn't abused, but can totally understand why you're so upset and angry. And, I don't think I could ever forgive that, either. What a horrible thing to do.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

She sounds fruit loops and I am so glad you picked your DD up. I would never leave her in that woman's care again.

But what a huge relief about the abuse not happening.







to you. I am sorry that you had to go through all of the heartache.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I am glad to hear your daughter was not abused, and I am very sorry that you ever had to think she was.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thalia the Muse* 
I am SO SO glad that your baby was not abused, but what kind of monster would put you through the agony of believing that she had!?

I'm so sorry that you have been put through this whole nightmarish ordeal.

i totally agree.

that woman sounds like she's dangerous, combined with the vaxing thing, i think i'd stay very VERY far away from her.


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## lesliesara63 (Dec 18, 2004)

I am so sorry that this happened to your dd. Where I live someone can be charged with public mischief for filing a false police report. Not to mention subjecting your dd to an unnecessary examination to look for sexual abuse. I hope your father ditches the horrible girlfriend!


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## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

I hate to be negative about such great news but I have to say that in your position I'd want to take my daughter in to be checked by our regular doctor and hear in person from the horse's mouth that she is not injured. I think I'd say this anyway, but honestly, when I read your OP about the severe scarring all I could think was that the girlfriend did it, probably during a bath, and likely under the guise of "cleaning" her.

Now the same girlfriend is saying she made it up? At the very least, she's never coming in contact with my kid again. But I wouldn't trust anything she says and would want it straight from a doctor I already know and trust. (I know you said the doctor told the police over the phone, but that's just not good enough for me. I'd need no room for doubt.)

I'm so sorry you've been through all this, but at least it's all a lie.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

This just boggles the mind. So, what was her motivation - was she hoping to cast enough suspicion on you and your ex so that your father could get custody of your dd? I cannot believe the hell she just put you through! Good news is that your DD was not actually abused. Good news is that NO action is being taken against you and you are no longer suspected of being involved in something so horrible. I would never let that woman around me or my family again and would see if any charges could be pressed against her.


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *swd12422* 
when I read your OP about the severe scarring all I could think was that the girlfriend did it,

Now the same girlfriend is saying she made it up?

no, the op's _dad's_ girlfriend.

not her ex's girlfriend.

i'm so glad this is not true. i've been having nightmares about the poor little girl


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

I too am THRILLED if your daughter is indeed fine and has suffered no abuse. I really hope that's definitely the case.

But what's up with her reaction to the bath then? Have you talked to the Pediatrician yourself, the one that examined her, and did you ask why and how your Dad's girlfriend might have gotten the impression something was wrong?

I really hope nothing is wrong and it was all a crazy (very crazy!) thing your dad's girlfriend did, but you said yourself that your daughter loves baths but got so upset and cried and screamed so hard when you tried to bathe her, she couldn't breathe properly. Now that she's back with you (thank goodness!) PLEASE watch her reaction to baths and just generally watch her - if she continues to be super duper upset, that is NOT normal and something is still wrong there, even if it doesn't add up to abuse.

Really hope that indeed everything's fine and your daughter has suffered zero harm! But please watch her and follow up to be sure.


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## Beating Earth (Mar 2, 2006)

OMG, I am so happy that your little wasn't hurt that way. I am actually in tears, I am so happy. I am also so so so sorry that you were put thru that hell by that nasty person.
Many blessings on you and your DD.


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## ILuvMyBaby (Feb 24, 2004)

OMG...I am so sorry you had to go threw this. How horrible!!!


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## PlayaMama (Apr 1, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LROM* 
I too am THRILLED if your daughter is indeed fine and has suffered no abuse. I really hope that's definitely the case.

But what's up with her reaction to the bath then? Have you talked to the Pediatrician yourself, the one that examined her, and did you ask why and how your Dad's girlfriend might have gotten the impression something was wrong?

I really hope nothing is wrong and it was all a crazy (very crazy!) thing your dad's girlfriend did, but you said yourself that your daughter loves baths but got so upset and cried and screamed so hard when you tried to bathe her, she couldn't breathe properly. Now that she's back with you (thank goodness!) PLEASE watch her reaction to baths and just generally watch her - if she continues to be super duper upset, that is NOT normal and something is still wrong there, even if it doesn't add up to abuse.

Really hope that indeed everything's fine and your daughter has suffered zero harm! But please watch her and follow up to be sure.

that is true. i didn't even think of how you'd mentioned that her behaviour changed so significantly.

i have to second the pp that suggested getting her checked out and talking to the doctor yourself.

this is really weird.


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## SilvanaRose (Feb 19, 2009)

I'm so glad nothing happened to your DD, I just hope she has not suffered some emotional trauma because of all this. I wonder what that woman said to your DD. I hope your dad understands that you may not want your DD to be alone with them anymore. I feel bad for saying that but I would never let my child be alone with people who put me and her through that emotional drama. I still wonder though what may have gone on between your DD and her. She may have said something upsetting to your DD, but you may never know. I'm so glad she is safe with you.


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

The bath issue is the only unexplainable thing right now which I will look into and work with Annabelle on.

Someone said something about scars, no there are none, my fathers girlfriend made it all up. My father went himself and talked to the ped today and my dad and the ped are trying to get her some mental health services.

My DD has never been with her before, I was going out of town, her grandfather wanted time with her. My dad and her have been together a long time and have children together this is a first time for something like this, they are trying to get her help.


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## InMediasRes (May 18, 2009)

Oh my gosh, I'm soooooo glad that your DD is okay! What a horrible thing to go through.

I hope that there is either serious help or justice for your Dad's girlfriend. I cannot even begin to imagine what would make a person make something like that up.


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## waiting2bemommy (Dec 2, 2007)

Oh man. A happy ending. I'm so glad to hear that your baby is ok. And I'm extra happy that you and her are back together. I know you said you were tired and exhausted but you CAN make it with her.

As far as your dad's gf, it is mind boggling that another parent would do soemthing like this, and I'm guessing your dad just took her word for it and never actually checked himself (which is understandable being that she is a little girl and had purpotedly just been molested.) I hope she gets help before she ruins someone's life telling stories. Is it possible that she *does* think your dd was abused, and exaggerated the story in order to get the attention she thought was warranted? My mom does this a lot, exaggerates stories to make them seem "serious" enough to merit attention. Is there any possibility that your dd was abused but just not to that extent? I really hope not, but please do double check personally with everyone involved, just to be sure. It could be that your dad's gf was trying in her own twisted way to get help for a perceived problem with your dd.


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

Y'know about the bath thing, both of my kids (who I'd swear are half fish) went through a serious dislike of the tub sometime between 1 and 2 yrs of age, so it's also possible that it's just an age/developmental thing. Or she could have slipped in the tub and went under and it scared her and no one thought to pass it on. There are several reasons she could react that way, but I definitely agree to keep a watch on her. So, so glad she's back with you!


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## kcstar (Mar 20, 2009)

SO relieved to hear that the abuse didn't happen!







What a horrible thing to put a mother through.

On the bath thing, DS has occasionally freaked out about bathing, for no apparent reason. The only people who've bathed him has been me and DH, and I am certain there's no abuse going on. It started somewhere around 18 months, but has not been every time. But the other day when I tried to bathe him, he freaked out again.

Sometimes I think it may have to do with the temperature of the water. Or more recently, overtired (he's dropping naps and not exactly adjusted to the time change).


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## ~Boudicca~ (Sep 7, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thalia the Muse* 
I am SO SO glad that your baby was not abused, but what kind of monster would put you through the agony of believing that she had!?

I'm so sorry that you have been put through this whole nightmarish ordeal.









What she did is evil. I am so glad your little girl is ok though.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SunshineJ* 
Y'know about the bath thing, both of my kids (who I'd swear are half fish) went through a serious dislike of the tub sometime between 1 and 2 yrs of age, so it's also possible that it's just an age/developmental thing. Or she could have slipped in the tub and went under and it scared her and no one thought to pass it on. There are several reasons she could react that way, but I definitely agree to keep a watch on her. So, so glad she's back with you!

I agree with this too. DD2 is 2.5 and for the last year she has been totally bonkers over bath time, it started as a refusal to get in, and showers? Forget it. Only in the last few weeks has she chilled out and I can finally wash her hair with out her shrieking like someone is trying to kill her. DD1 was like that too at that age.


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

I'm glad to hear that there was no injury found. Forgive me but maybe because I myself was the victim of child abuse I am still feeling suspicious. I want to say (like many others have) that I'm happy there was no abuse, but I would really watch closely. Lack of injury or scars doesn't necessarily mean that it didn't occur, your dad's ex-girlfriend is seriously suspect IMO. I would just watch and listen, and hope that there really wasn't abuse.

I'm so sorry, I know like any mother we'd want to just know it never happened to our precious babes...and I hate to be a dark cloud. But it's something to think about.


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## ledzepplon (Jun 28, 2004)

I'm so glad your little one is okay! I can't imagine the manipulation you and she have been put through. I agree with the pp's who suggested filing charges against the gf and getting a second opinion from a ped.

And I hope you can stay far, far away from your father's gf.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

really really glad she's ok and I'm so sorry for the emotional hell you must have been going through.

to be honest, it did all sound a bit suspicious, as I couldn't imagine CPS and the police not taking her into immediate care had there been substantiated reports of such severe abuse.

i hope you can all move past this now.


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## darkpouka (Apr 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SunshineJ* 
Y'know about the bath thing, both of my kids (who I'd swear are half fish) went through a serious dislike of the tub sometime between 1 and 2 yrs of age, so it's also possible that it's just an age/developmental thing. Or she could have slipped in the tub and went under and it scared her and no one thought to pass it on. There are several reasons she could react that way, but I definitely agree to keep a watch on her. So, so glad she's back with you!

One of my sons spent 9 months where he would do nothing but scream at the top of his lungs during bath time (this was when he was around 2) ~ where before he had loved baths. I traced it back to a bath where he had tried to jump up then slipped and while he didn't hit his head or get hurt he had gotten scared by sliding under the water suddenly. Needless to say baths were extremely short and with very little water in the tub for those 9 months.

To the OP ~ I'm so glad that your daughter wasn't abused and that she is back with you!


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

All of mine have gone through a phase of disliking baths. It happens.

I'm so glad that your daughter is OK, but absolutely speechless about your dad's girlfriend. It's a horrible situation for you and your dad to be in. Much love to both of you.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

It's funny that you say she wasn't abused. I was thinking of your case and thought "I bet she wasn't abused." Because nobody saw it and it seemed wierd the timing of the hospital visits...one for abuse signs and another for a cough....just didn't add up.

It sounds like your dads girlfriend wants your daughter and thinks you're incapable.








I'm glad it's all working out ok now.


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## Funny Face (Dec 7, 2006)

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I saw this update.









UAV girlfriend but I am just so happy for your little girl, words cannot express!









I kept trying to figure out why they were examining her genitals at the hospital, so that makes sense!








So sorry for what she put you through.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

I'm glad things are working out and I'm so sorry you had to be put through all this.

About the bath thing. It's SUPER common for toddlers to develop a sudden fear of the bath about this age. Both my kids went through it. So, really, it might just be a normal developmental phase.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

WHAT????!!!!!

she FABRICATED the whole thing?!!!!









I am happy and yet shocked at the same time. happy that your little girl is ok. i am sooo sorry you had to go thru that.

i feel sorry for your dad's gf too. she really needs help, if as a mother she could go to that degree of fabrication.

so happy to hear you have your babe in your arms.







:

i hope this is nothing than just your dd disliking baths.


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## chaoticzenmom (May 21, 2005)

So, why did they take her to the pediatrician? Do you think they vax'd her without telling you?


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## MadameXCupcake (Dec 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chaoticzenmom* 
So, why did they take her to the pediatrician? Do you think they vax'd her without telling you?

We both got sick two or so days before she went with my father, it was really just a cold though. So, she actually has pneumonia, well did, she is much better now.








I have bronchitis right now hoping it doesn't turn into pneumonia. I'm weezing pretty bad, am sore all over, and spent a lot of the day vomiting.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

OMG is there anyone in your life who could handle a battery charge without messing up their life too much that you could pay to, hang on, I don't think the user agreement actually permits that suggestion.

Not that you'll be seeing her ever again, but if you will be seeing her ever again try to make it at Thanksgiving and dump salt in her food and tell everyone at the table you are thankful that her lies didn't make you lose your child.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

But hey, better than the alternative, right? She can' t possibly be sane, no one in their right mind makes a parent think their child has suffered even half as much as what she lied about.


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## 2lilsweetfoxes (Apr 11, 2005)

Been following. Glad to hear your baby is okay. It does sound to me like your dad's gf wanted to take your child.


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

I'm so glad everything is okay now -- and I agree that your father's girlfriend has totally broken your trust.

Sadly, I think a lot of people are so alarmed by non-mainstream parenting choices that they feel they are "batting for" the children when they get Child Protective Services involved. Because they think CPS will railroad parents into vaccinating and doing other stuff the mainstream way.

Even though legally parents can't be forced to vaccinate -- they can feel pressured if their kids are in foster care and their refusal to vaccinate seems to be making them look bad to the judge.

I have relatives who are very against our unschooling, and also our not-vaccinating, and my sister called Children's Services on us a year ago. Thankfully no case was ever opened -- but as with your situation, it just showed me I can't trust my sister.

I don't think she is evil. She is just so very, intensely mainstream in her thinking that she thinks I am seriously endangering and short-changing my children. So this was her little way of trying to get someone who she thought could pressure us, to pressure us.

I now use a lot more discretion when talking about our lifestyle choices.

Best wishes! And, again, I am really glad everything has turned out okay.


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## liliaceae (May 31, 2007)

I am so happy your daughter was not abused. But have you talked to the doctor who examined her yourself? Please give him a call so you can hear the news with your own ears, it will make us all feel better at least.


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## StoriesInTheSoil (May 8, 2008)

I'm so glad to see this update! Is there a way to press charges against the girlfriend?


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