# I wrote our baby last night and saw my first newborn since the m/c happened....



## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

My friend Gail went in yesterday to be induced. She went in at 8 and had the baby at 1:03. This gal knows how to have a baby! No tears and only pushed for 15 mintues. She went from 4 to 10 in 3 hours! Anyway, she had a baby girl and named her Emma. Which some of you know that I'm pretty sure we lost a baby girl with our m/c. When my mom called me yesterday to tell me the baby had finally arrived I just sat in the floor and cried. Out of excitement for her and sadness for us.

I got to the hospital and got to hold Emma for about 20 minutes. Her little hands and bruised little face were so sweet. She had the longest fingers and already needed her nails cut. I even held her for her first poop!

Anyway, I hadn't been ready to write our little one until last night. I think it was holding Emma that made me ready. I feel a little better but I don't think I'll ever feel right about it. I decided to call her Sweetpea. Kind of gender neutral...but I think it fits.

I'm still waiting for af, whICH DOESN'T make things easier. I remembered something from after Tracy was born. I remember Gail coming to visit me in the hospital. She stood at the foot of my bed and told me that Emma was on her way. Gail knows what is going on in my life with af and everything. She actually knows more than dh...

So, I'm just kinda hanging back....BTW....if any of you go to the ttc board I asked a question about cervix length. I'm kinda stumped about it but i didn't know where to post.

Megan

Tracy 4/26/02
Sweetpea 11/19/02


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

That must have been so bittersweet for you to go see your friend. A friend of mine had twins a couple weeks ago, and I saw them when they were a few days old... I was so overjoyed for my friend but at the same time it was sad for me to see what I missed out on with Xiola. But I must say that it really was a healing experience and I am so glad I went.

And that is wonderful that your friend is in such good touch with you... surely that helped make the visit a positive experience for you.

I think Sweetpea is an excellent name for your little one. I think it helps a lot to have a name by which to refer to your lost baby, it acknowledges their importance in your life.

XM


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

How do you pronounce Xiola? Is the X a z sound.....it looks like such a beautiful name I just wonder how to say it!


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## Missgrl (Nov 18, 2001)

HI there! I don't come to this forum too much but something
drew me to your thread. I think it was your title. I used to
write in a journal when my ds's were infants. I would just talk
to them and it would go on for pages and pages.
I'm so sorry for you m/c and sense of void you must be feeling.
I just want you to know that I care and am sending you more
positive strength!
take care
missgrl


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

(((Megan))))

I am so sorry for what you are going through but I am glad to see you finally achieving some solace.


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

Xiola is pronounced zy-O-lah.

It's funny, everyone here thinks it is a beautiful name... but when we told our folks what we'd decided to name our daughter, they were silent for a moment (!) before saying something polite about it LOL! Everybody had their own ideas of what she should have been named, and I guess they were all suprised that we did'nt use any of their ideas... shocking, huh?









XM


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

At least you parents were polite about it! We chose the name Iris if we had had a girl. Since we wanted a surprise we had 2 names chosen. My mom was so glad that we had a boy. She literaly HATES the name Iris and said she would call her something else







But you should have seen everyone grimace when they heard that Iris was still an option with the second baby







(they didn't like the boy name we had chosen either....Easton Alexander Moore...)


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