# Heartbroken



## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

Our second child and second son was born on August 15th - 9lbs 14oz and 22 inches long. Everything was going fine until close to the delivery then everything went wrong.

They told me I had to get him out and the room exploded with people. The doc said I pushed him out faster than he could have done a c-sec or forceps delivery. It wasn't fast enough.

They worked on him for such a long time and finally had to take him to the NICU. After talking to two neonatologists we thought we had an uphill battle but that he had a small chance.

Almost twelve hours exactly after his birth they called and told us to come over (he had been transferred that night to the children's hospital's NICU). My DH went right away and called me to come. The hospital staff were great and got me discharged in record time.

I arrived in time for us to remove him from life support and hold him until he was gone. It was the first and last time we held him. He was perfect and we are devastated.

Since his death we've learned that it could have been prevented and I should have never had a vaginal delivery - it should have been a c-sec. We don't know how to handle this information along with our grief.

We miss him terribly. Please include our families in your prayers.

I know that reading your stories of loss help give me strength that we are not alone. Know that we are praying for you, too.

This is my first post since he died. I can't write about the whole event, what happened and what went wrong - not yet, it is still too raw. When I can I will share.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I am so, so sorry.







I hate to see anyone go through this and I wish I could make all babies live. My heart is hurting for you and your family.









Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cheshire* 
This is my first post since he died. I can't write about the whole event, what happened and what went wrong - not yet, it is still too raw. When I can I will share.

Take your time. I wrote in my journal about my dd's stillbirth and that has been the one and only time I will ever write it all out. It is just too much to remember everything. I can write out bits and pieces but not the whole thing.

Many hugs sent your way.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

s


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## Mommy of Izzy (Aug 12, 2008)

I am so very sorry to you and your family. As I read your story I have goosebumps and flashbacks.

I am giving you virtual hugs. Know that I am praying for you and your family.


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## Cuddlebaby (Jan 14, 2003)

crying with you.


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## ladybug732 (Apr 29, 2008)

I'm so, so sorry. My heart hurts for you, and I wish things were different. I'm praying for you.









Hugs,
Kathleen


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## calebsmommy25 (Aug 23, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you and your family.


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## yummymummy2hannah (Aug 23, 2006)

I'm crying with you too. I'm so very sorry.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Fiestabeth (Aug 4, 2006)

Oh, mama. Words are not enough.








For your sweet baby boy


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## RainbowEarthFaerie (Oct 11, 2006)

I sit here crying for you. I will light a candle for your family. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## ryansmom02 (Jan 8, 2003)




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## akwifeandmomma (Aug 13, 2005)

I am so terribly sorry.


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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

I am so sorry to hear this, Cheshire. My heart is with you.









Please know that, no matter what, it was no fault of yours, and you did nothing wrong, nothing too fast, too slow, NOTHING.








s to you mama, it will take time, but you are not alone.


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## feminist~mama (Mar 6, 2002)

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss!


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## EarthMamaToBe (Feb 19, 2008)

I am SO SORRY! I hope that you will find peace!


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## veronicalynne (Nov 4, 2006)

I am so sorry


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## AAL (Aug 30, 2008)

I am so very sorry for you loss. I will light a candle for you. My heart goes out to you and your family.


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## namaste_mom (Oct 21, 2005)

Cheshire - I'm very very sorry for your loss. Please try to be gentle with yourself as you made the best choices you could at the time with the information that you had. I too have only written the story of my dd's loss in my journal. It is not something that I can put out there into the universe for public consumption. Your grieving is very instinctual and primal, please know that it will take some time but it will eventually feel a little better. (((HUGS)))


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## trinh86 (Jul 29, 2008)

take care of yourself. I don't know how to explain how sad I am to have read your story. I am sincerely sorry for your loss.


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## Dalene (Apr 14, 2008)

I will pray for you and your family, Cheshire. It makes me so angry that we mamas know this pain. It is devastating.

I, too, lost my son in labor. It is normal to question your every decision. Let yourself work through those scenarios. I had a crash C-section, and they still couldn't get my baby out in time. I question if he would be alive if I had had a scheduled C/S. I question my decision to be at a birth center. There really is no way to know, and that sucks. The bottom line that I have mostly come to accept is that I was healthy and my baby was healthy during my pregnancy, so there was no reason to do things differently. But still I can't help but wonder.

Please feel free to share more when you are ready. I am crying for you.


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## 3sweetsurprises (Aug 24, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss!!







We're here if and when you want to share the whole story.


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## Mamax3 (Nov 21, 2001)

I am so sorry you have to know this pain. I'm thinking of you and your sweet son.


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## Eliseatthebeach (Sep 20, 2007)

I am so so sorry


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## Finding Serenity (Aug 10, 2005)

My heart is breaking for you. Sending my love, hugs and prayers to you.


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## katytheprincess2 (Jun 10, 2004)

I just wanted to send a hug your way!


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## mommato5 (Feb 19, 2007)

I am so sorry. The pain of knowing a death could of been prevented is devastating. I'm there with you.


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## mrsfatty (Dec 21, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss.
















:


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## MotherMama (Mar 31, 2008)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## JenMidwife (Oct 4, 2005)

I gosh mama







I'm heartbroken with you too


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## gratefulbambina (Mar 20, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss







I agree writing a journal helped me more than anything


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