# I was *that mom* at Whole Foods tonight



## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

Did anyone see me?









I was the mom with the baby who would. not. stop. SCREAMING no matter what I did (she's cutting some teeth), and a 2 year old who was hell bent on totally destroying the store.

You know it's time to call it quits when you have to scream half way down the aisle "QUIT LICKING THAT STRANGER!"

But the experience disintegrated into short, sharp remarks, "Quit that. Please knock it off. Don't touch! DON'T TOUCH! Please, give me a break! Come here! Stop that! Stand up! WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP?!?!?!?!"

I am feeling very non-GD right now







:


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## Leilalu (May 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Did anyone see me?









I was the mom with the baby who would. not. stop. SCREAMING no matter what I did (she's cutting some teeth), and a 2 year old who was hell bent on totally destroying the store.

You know it's time to call it quits when you have to scream half way down the aisle "QUIT LICKING THAT STRANGER!"

But the experience disintegrated into short, sharp remarks, "Quit that. Please knock it off. Don't touch! DON'T TOUCH! Please, give me a break! Come here! Stop that! Stand up! WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP?!?!?!?!"

I am feeling very non-GD right now







:









aww, mama.

I will admit I laughed at the "don't lick that stranger" part









A good nap, and some time to decompress heals a lot of wounds


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## spiritmomma (Aug 29, 2005)

aww, mama!







Don't forget that its important to be *gentle* with yourself when you have a hard day...


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

Oh dear









This part is priceless:

Quote:

You know it's time to call it quits when you have to scream half way down the aisle "QUIT LICKING THAT STRANGER!"
Can the toddler stay home next time with dad?

Just so you know, to me "That mom" in the store means the one who smacked or hit her child.

I don't consider a hyper toddler or screaming baby a sign of bad parenting. Toddlers are active. Babies cry. It happens, kwim? Don't feel bad!


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## mammal_mama (Aug 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heartmama* 
I don't consider a hyper toddler or screaming baby a sign of bad parenting. Toddlers are active. Babies cry. It happens, kwim? Don't feel bad!

My thoughts exactly. I also agree with spiritmomma that you need to be gentle with yourself.


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## delicious (Jun 16, 2003)

dude, we all get frustrated. and i agree with heartmama. totally normal. i hope things calm down soon !


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## Rox5266 (Nov 26, 2004)

I'm so sorry. Don't beat yourself up about it. I was "that mom" at Whole Foods a couple months ago. My ds decided to scream at the top his lungs at the check out and smacked my glasses right off my face. I looked up and everyone on the next line was staring at me.







: I just got my ds outta there ASAP.


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## ThreeBeans (Dec 2, 2006)

I know. I just was thinking about myself afterwards, and I was embarassed at how short I was. I am in my first trimester and I am just exhausted and cranky. DD is still waking at night to nurse, DS....well...he's like a monkey on crack, and DH works 230495203580219 hours a week. I'm done







:


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## De-lovely (Jan 8, 2005)

Hugs mama-yes indeed be gentle with yourself! We have allllllllllll been there.....well maybe not the licking.


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## lotsofkids (Aug 25, 2006)

Just remember that you'll never see those people again!!!! I tell myself this every time mine act up in the store. I'll never see these people again. I'll never see these people again. I'll never see these people again. It's like a chant.


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## TxMominCT (Nov 23, 2006)

stick it out! It'll all be okay! Remember this too shall pass!


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## georgia (Jan 12, 2003)

Just yesterday, I had to extricate my 2 yr old from under a clothes rack then shopping cart, then she went facedown to the floor, did the passive-resistance Gandhi-flop so I couldn't gently scoop her up without force and more distress. I simply sat on the floor while she screamed b/c I was out of options. She did not want me to talk to her or touch her. She was Done. My fault though. One guy was so kind he actually tried to engage her (big mistake), but I did appreciate the kind gesture and effort. Everyone else simply stared and mumbled.

So, we've all BTDT (or will)....be gentle on yourself and remember what you do want to do differently for next time...we'll look at these times as a learning experience









(quit licking that stranger---you don't know where he's been







)


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## woobysma (Apr 20, 2004)

. I've been "that mom", too. I agre, be gentle with yourself.

And threebeans......







"monkey on crack", I love it. DS has his moments, too


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)




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## mimiharshe (Oct 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heartmama* 
Oh dear









This part is priceless:

Can the toddler stay home next time with dad?

Just so you know, to me "That mom" in the store means the one who smacked or hit her child.

I don't consider a hyper toddler or screaming baby a sign of bad parenting. Toddlers are active. Babies cry. It happens, kwim? Don't feel bad!

Couldn't agree more!


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

Oh, mama, I'm so sorry you had such a bad time. FWIW, I was *that mom* too in IHOP the other day. Total dork that I am, I decided to take my 4 and 2 yo's out to lunch (just me) after a wonderful day of shopping every store in my town for presents.







I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I think the old people in there were applauding when I left. And NOT because they were impressed with my parenting skills.








Oh, well, we all have bad days. And a 2yo that's teething is such a great excuse.
BTW,







: to the "licking the stranger" thing.


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## reillys_mom (Mar 5, 2005)

The biggest thing I need to keep remembering is that DS is louder to me and DH than to anyone else. The licking is pricelss, but everyone else keeps moving so we are the only ones who are listening/dealing with the toddler the whole time. I only have one and yet haven't been able to come close to finishing xmas shopping for soemof the same reasons.


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

Every trip to the grocery store with both of my kids is like a trip through Hell. We always end up with one of those huge 2-seat carts because if we don't, one of them will start whining and trying to lay in the floor. With the cart, I just get the pleasure of listening them scream at each other to "stop toooouuuuuching meeeee!" Then DH chimes in with, "Why do you have to buy so much stuff? Can't we come back laaaaaater?" It's like shopping with 3 toddlers. Only one of them is a toddler--the other 2 are 5 and 22 so what's their excuse? I usually have a massive hormone-fueled breakdown by the time we get to the parking lot









I wish I could tell you it gets better but I really don't think it does.


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## Goddess3_2005 (Oct 20, 2004)

Ah yes the grocery store hell. I know it well. Dh is the worst begging me to buy junk food. Here's some easy shopping tips..

The nevers
Never....
1. Take a child to the store without haveing a nap that day.
2. Take a hungery child
3. go shopping when you are tired or hungery(you can make do eating leftovers till tommorrow)
4. Go shopping late in the day

The Always..
Always.....
1. Give the kiddos a snack before you go so they are not tempted to pull candy bars off the shelf and eat them.
2. Make sure every one goes pee right before you go.
3. make a list and stick to it. (If I have a list I can be in and out of a store in 30 minutes tops. Without one I wander around aimlessly for hours.
4. try to go eary in the morning when the store is less crowded and everyone is refresed and perky after a good nights sleep.

Also try taking a couple snacks in your bag and some juice. I have learned that my kiddos always have melt downs when they are hungery, infact thats when most of them happen. So having a little trip insurance never hurts.

And if all else fails, leave the kids with DH/babysitter.


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## gaialice (Jan 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *georgia* 
did the passive-resistance Gandhi-flop

Georgia, that is a great definition!!!!!!


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

It sounds like you had a rough shopping trip. Hopefully the next one will be better, and no licking of strangers!







(I just had to laugh when I read that!) Don't worry about the tantrums or goofy behavior. Most kids do it. My dd has to be carried out of stores all of the time while kicking and screaming.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

You don't sound like "that mom." Someday it'll seem so funny.....


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## Qestia (Sep 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *georgia* 
the passive-resistance Gandhi-flop


I love this! It's going into our vocabulary.

And I don't think the OP is "that mom". My definition of "that mom" is a mom who is not actually trying to do anything about their child's behavior.


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## TxMominCT (Nov 23, 2006)

:
I also think "that Mom" is one who is doinf inappropriate things to misbehaving kids, i.e yelling, cursing, name calling, belittling, spanking...


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

I have soooo been that mom. Hissing at my kids to be quiet, or stop grabbing things, or the old "How many times do I have to tell you . . . " while I'm breaking a sweat trying to get out of there without totally losing it. And I did actually have to tell my 2.5yo not to lick the SIDEWALK the other day.

This thread is reminding me of something my sister said a few weeks ago that just made me want to smack her. My mom was mentioning to her my dilemma of when to go do the big grocery shopping for Thanksgiving cuz dh was working so much and my mom was teaching at night. My sister (who doesn't have children) said: "I don't see what the problem is. I see plenty of people in the grocery store with kids." Yeah, what she doesn't see is their blood pressure level. And she has no clue that every shopping trip is a crapshoot - you never know if you're going to get the wild monkeys or the angel babies once you set foot inside.

Please, please Lord, please let her have children. I should send her a link to this thread.


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## TxMominCT (Nov 23, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
I And she has no clue that every shopping trip is a crapshoot - you never know if you're going to get the wild monkeys or the angel babies once you set foot inside.









I love that! It's so true you never know who's coming out of the car seats and into the store with you!!!


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## 4Marmalade (May 4, 2004)

I so know what the OP is talking about. I had one of those trips yesterday too. I am just so thankful ds (4) was reasonable. Dd (18 months) doesn't want to be carried in arms, in the mei tei or in the cart. She wants to run and thinks it's a game when I chase her. Add ds wanting to push the cart "all by himself" and my blood pressure started to rise pretty quickly. We eventually had to abort the mission and I walked out of the store with dd in my arms facing out screaming at the top of her lungs. I couldn't hold her facing in because she just kept clawing at my face and hitting me. And then when I got her into the car she pulled out a huge handful of my hair. Once again, many thanks to ds who cooperated. He could have easily dug in his heels and refused to leave too. I don't know what I would have done then. Maybe just







. One time dh and I took both dd and ds to the grocery store and we each ended up carrying a crying child out to the car. Fun stuff.

BTW...I don't think you're "that mom" either







.


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## damyen's mommy (May 5, 2005)

I am loving this entire thread. Yep I am usualy always "that mom" I have hissed at my ds to stop that I have even bribed him







:







. Not proud moments, but he was quiet with the bribery. You momma's are great at tleast I got a little giggle off this thread before I have to go back tomorrow for groceries.


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## Oka-san (Jan 3, 2006)

Awwww, I know the feeling too! Yesterday at the bookstore I needed to ask a question at the service counter and there was a line. DD just wanted to run around, but I needed to ask my question, and every time she ran away I lost my place, so it just got worse and worse. So I had to scoop her up and hold her in my arms against her will while we waited. She was screaming like a banshee and squirming like a sack of squid. All I could do while we waited was say "Kaya, I have to ask a question. Please be patient, I have to ask a question. I have to ask a QUESTION, Kaya!! I HAVE TO ASK A QUESTION!!!"

Arrggghhhh!

I actually like Whole Foods more than other stores because they have all those samples and they tend to keep DD quiet, especially the bread. It's gotten so that we head straight for the bakery when we arrive so that she can have a piece of bread or two while we shop. Is that bribery? If it is I don't care!!


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## Awaken (Oct 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ThreeBeans* 
Did anyone see me?









I was the mom with the baby who would. not. stop. SCREAMING no matter what I did (she's cutting some teeth), and a 2 year old who was hell bent on totally destroying the store.

You know it's time to call it quits when you have to scream half way down the aisle "QUIT LICKING THAT STRANGER!"

But the experience disintegrated into short, sharp remarks, "Quit that. Please knock it off. Don't touch! DON'T TOUCH! Please, give me a break! Come here! Stop that! Stand up! WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP?!?!?!?!"

I am feeling very non-GD right now







:

I'm sorry









I have been there many, many a time. I wish licking strangers was the worst of it! I must look like the worst, meanest mom sometimes.

It's hard but we have to give ourselves some slack and move on. It helps to know that anyone there who was a parent probably TOTALLY understood what you were going through and didn't think anything of it. I need to take my own advice


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## blsilva (Jul 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
This thread is reminding me of something my sister said a few weeks ago that just made me want to smack her.

Yes!! My brother and his wife are so full of advice about my children- and how awful they are because they do not sit still at the table for meals, or whatever they are doing. Of course, they are pregnant right now with their FIRST child! I cannot wait for them to experience all the fun of parenthood.


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## PennyRoo (Dec 7, 2004)

Aw, mama, sorry you had a rough shopping experience. We have ALL been there/done that!

I was "that mom" yesterday in Home Goods' breakables aisle - my DD flung herself on the ground and threw her boots in separate directions while writhing and screaming (the episode really came out of the blue . . later discovered she was pretty hungry) . I crouched down and tried speaking to her in a gentle voice but it was hard given the combination of 1) her screaming; 2) my worry about the breakable items around us and 3) the decidedly dirty looks passers-by were aiming my way.









Hope today was better.


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## scbegonias (Aug 15, 2003)

Licking a stranger is priceless







.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *georgia* 
Just yesterday, I had to extricate my 2 yr old from under a clothes rack then shopping cart, then she went facedown to the floor, did the passive-resistance Gandhi-flop so I couldn't gently scoop her up without force and more distress. I simply sat on the floor while she screamed b/c I was out of options. She did not want me to talk to her or touch her. She was Done. My fault though. One guy was so kind he actually tried to engage her (big mistake), but I did appreciate the kind gesture and effort. Everyone else simply stared and mumbled.

DD did this over the summer in the airport. DH and I just took turns sitting with her and sitting with our stuff (on opposite sites of the waiting area seats). She finally calmed down enough to have some Rescue Remedy. Just as I was giving it to her, a woman came up to me, smiled, and said "hang in there, you're doing a great job." It meant the world to me, and instantly helped me to relax.

I've resorted to shopping at Trader Joe's (free treats, stickers, balloons, little carts for the kids, and they don't care what you open in the store) on Saturday's after dinner. Its virtually empty, and DD cracks everyone up. I have had experiences at other grocery stores where we've just had to leave. Sometimes we calm down outside, and others we just abandon the mission. Definitely one of the more stressful things I do with my DD!


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## Hayes (Nov 20, 2001)

Quit licking that stranger!

I am so sorry, but I am laughing out loud! We have all been that mom. SOmetimes I offer to help. I always say,"You are doing a really great job and it gets easier when they get bigger." Hugs mama.


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## MomToKandE (Mar 11, 2006)

BTDT. My now 6 year old was a very high needs baby/toddler. I've carried her kicking and screaming out of more stores than I can count. (while everyone stared of course!) I'm happy to report that now at age 6 she can actually be an enjoyable shopping companion sometimes.









Ds is a more laid back personality but there's been times I've looked like "that mom" with him too.


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## tamagotchi (Oct 16, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Oka-san* 
I actually like Whole Foods more than other stores because they have all those samples and they tend to keep DD quiet, especially the bread. It's gotten so that we head straight for the bakery when we arrive so that she can have a piece of bread or two while we shop. Is that bribery? If it is I don't care!!

Oh yeah, we are all over the samples. That kind of bribery works on adults too (it's funny to see how DH always makes a beeline for the cheese samples, and is so disappointed when they don't have any out)


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## TinyFrog (Jan 24, 2006)

:

I read all the replies and _EVERYTIME_ I read "licking a stranger" I couldn't help but laugh. I hope today was better. You don't sound horrible at all.


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