# 3 y.o. complaining that her vagina hurts. :( Any ideas?



## Snowflake777

DD has complained a few times recently that her "vagina hurts on the inside" (her words). She'll say it maybe once or twice a week, crying a little and obviously in pain, then a short while later she seems fine again. If I ask her whether it hurts lots or just a bit, she says "just a bit".

We suspected a UTI about a month ago (when she first started complaining about it) but a urine sample came up clean. The doctor also took a quick look down there and couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Obviously I'd really like to avoid doing anything more invasive if possible. She's not in any major distress and seems well most of the time. Still, it worries me. 

I'm taking her back to the doctor this afternoon with another urine sample, just in case.

Any ideas what else this might be?


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## GoBecGo

Thrush?

Foreign object (self-inserted if she's been into exploration)?

Abuse (only on the list because it's a possibility, though i'm sure you've already thought of it!)?


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## Snowflake777

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *GoBecGo*
> 
> Thrush?
> 
> Foreign object (self-inserted if she's been into exploration)?
> 
> Abuse (only on the list because it's a possibility, though i'm sure you've already thought of it!)?


Thanks for the suggestions!

I don't think it's thrush - there's no sign of any irritation and she's not complaining of itching.

Foreign object - I don't think so, but I guess it's not impossible. Eek!

Abuse - no, I have absolutely zero reason to suspect anyone of that, and even if there was, DD is never alone with anyone long enough for anything like that to happen.


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## Greenlea

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> Foreign object - I don't think so, but I guess it's not impossible. Eek!


You never know. My mom caught my sister trying to put a battery in her vagina when she was around 3-4.

Maybe its a rash from not wiping too well? My other sister used to get that a lot too.


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## Dandelionkid

It could be pinworms. My 2 yr old dd had pinworms migrate to her vagina and cause a lot of pain. With her it happened mostly at night although apparently pinworm activity has been know to happen during the day. It took a minute to see it in there. Take a minute to look tonight.


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## Snowflake777

Thank you all for the replies. Foreign objects, pinworms...yikes!!

I took DD to the doctor today and her urine sample came out clean. The doctor is sending it off for culturing tomorrow, just to be on the safe side.

She mentioned that if DD hasn't had a bowel movement for a few days (which is the case) then that can cause some bladder & urethral pain. She didn't think it was likely to be anything serious, probably just some irritation. I'll take DD again if she continues to complain about it.

Fingers crossed it's nothing.


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## butterfly_mommy

Could she be exploring with her fingers with too long fingernails and causing micro scratches? This can hurt on and off.


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## mama_y_sol

nm


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## mariag

I would not worry too much that it is anything serious, but try to do things that help with general vaginal discomfort (which, I have learned, is not that uncommon in girls). Have her wear only !00% cotton undies, loose fitting clothes, no undies at night (air flow to the area is good), soak in a plain water bath for 10-15 min a day (no soap, bubbles etc...) make sure she isn't wiping/bathing with soap directly onto her vagina, make sure she is wiping well (no buildup in folds) and lastly, as your dr already told you, it might actually be a constipation issue.

good luck!


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## EviesMom

I have one other question/suggestion, which can sort of go along with the not-wiping-well thing--does she wear stockings/tights/leggings? When DD went through the "only skirts!" stage, whereby she only wanted to wear skirts, despite it being a freezing cold winter, we required thick stockings for warmth. This apparently made her rashy because of lack of airflow. The fact that 3-4 year olds don't always wipe well can add to it.

DS is 3 and makes seemingly-random complaints about his private parts hurting. First question we ask now is always "Were you playing with it?" and the answer is ALWAYS, "Well, yes, a little bit." I imagine the same could happen for a girl just from self-exploration. Can't hurt to ask!


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## LaughingHyena

Maybe it's time for the next size up in underwear. It took me a while to think it could be her clothes when DD first started complaining but it seemed to fix things. Now it's always on my list to check.

I agree with the not wiping too, DD has a habit of rushing and either not doing a proper job or leaving bits of tissue behind. A warm bath, no bubbles and she's generally OK.


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## Snowflake777

Thanks again for the replies. It could well be the clothes or not wiping herself well enough, or both.


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## Mom2M

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *EviesMom*
> 
> DS is 3 and makes seemingly-random complaints about his private parts hurting. First question we ask now is always "Were you playing with it?" and the answer is ALWAYS, "Well, yes, a little bit." I imagine the same could happen for a girl just from self-exploration. Can't hurt to ask!


This could be it. DD started complaining of pain sometimes when she was about 4 but it was a little different because her skin would be kind of red and look sore. I finally realized that she might be doing it herself and asked her if she had been rubbing or anything like that and she said yes. So I told her she needed to be gentle and it would be ok. After that, when she told me it hurt I would ask her if she had been rubbing too hard and she usually said yes, maybe.
I was really surprised because I never noticed her doing it at all!


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## snarky

For my daughter the problem was the bubble bath. Once we got rid of the bubble bath and reverted to plain water the pain was gone.


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## mom2happy

My DD and DS would complain of this sometimes if they skipped a day of pooping.

DD used to complain that her's was hurting and when I asked if she was playing with it, she said yes.

She would also get sore from not wiping dry. I would make a shallow bath, dry her completely and put a little A&D ointment on and it was fine right away.

Sometimes it's hard for them to be able to explain exactly what area has the pain.


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## sunnygir1

My dd has struggled with vaginal discomfort, but for her it is generally red between her labia. She does not do a great job of patting dry after peeing, especially at daycare. I do a bath with baking soda in it. I do not put any soap or shampoo or bubble bath in the vast majority of her baths, because they make the irritation worse. You might not see anything from a yeast infection, so it wouldn't hurt to ease up on sweets and add in a probiotic supplement -- this would also help with a bladder infection, although it sounds like you've ruled that out.


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## onyxravnos

it could also be from not washing well during baths. teach her how to open and wash her vulva well during baths.


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## NikonMama

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *snarky*
> 
> For my daughter the problem was the bubble bath. Once we got rid of the bubble bath and reverted to plain water the pain was gone.


I agree with this also. When I was a little girl, all bubble baths would make me hurt down there. It didn't itch, it just hurt. Not wiping myself (I remember sometimes being in a hurry as a really small girl and I didn't wipe at all) made it feel the same way.


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## mckownwife

or it could be from the type of soap u use... i remember when i was young, i would take baths and clean myself down there, i guess the soapy water gets inside ...it burns...it helps a lil when i rinse off but it would still hurt inside even after because of the soapy water!


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## mommy68

possible yeast infection?

Not sure. My daughter is 9 and has had similar issues before. She would get irritated if I didn't rinse out the bathtub well enough after I had just cleaned it or if we used a certain soap or bubbles (can't use those). I now rinse my tub religiously after I wash it and I rinse last with cold water because that seems to get rid of all the remaining residue from the cleaner I use.


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## crunchymama19

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Snowflake777*
> 
> Thanks again for the replies. It could well be the clothes or not wiping herself well enough, or both.


This was the case with my DD1 (now 4). We really have to make sure she wipes AND washes her hands every time. The hand washing is important since she is always outside or in the garden digging around. Since we have gotten diligent at enforcing both (we really have to check EVERY time she uses the toilet) this complaint has gone away.


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## NiteNicole

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onyxravnos*
> 
> it could also be from not washing well during baths. teach her how to open and wash her vulva well during baths.


I thought the opposite was true - washing that aggressively will cause discomfort and dryness?


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## sunnygir1

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *NiteNicole*
> 
> I thought the opposite was true - washing that aggressively will cause discomfort and dryness?


I'm with you. I think sitting in a bath, especially with baking soda, and maybe a little swishing is all that is needed. I would never teach a small child to "open and wash her vulva". I only teach her to be very gentle when she touches herself and to never put soap on her bottom.


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## Imakcerka

SOAPS! Get rid of bubble bath and all harsh soaps. My girls were in pain everytime they used bubble bath or if they used any soap with dye or fragrance. Bar soap was out, and then we had to forgo the liquid soap. I actually started buying them sensitive feminine soap. It says for adults only but after 6 months of use and no complaints ... I'm sticking with it. Pain free for 6 months!


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## nextcommercial

Soaps are brutal for girls.

I would pour a half cup or so of vinegar in her tub and let her play in the tub for 20 minutes or longer. We never used soaps. At the end of her bath we drained the tub then I washed her hair and rinsed it so she wasn't sitting in the soapy water.


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## SilverFish

no soap for sure, but still, opening the lips and rinsing well with water is going to help, especially if there are sloppy wiping jobs happening, plus sweat, grime etc.


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## ghannit

My DD has complained of discomfort on various occasions. An easy solution/cure has always been to avoid soap altogether, or just shampoo hair and then rinse, and then fill the tub with plain water and some baking soda for a soak. Another handy trick has been to boil water, let cool and then fill a small spray bottle with the water and a few drops of tea tree oil. After a pee (and always after a poop), use the spray to get the area clean. Then dry well of course.









I agree with the suggestion for probiotics.


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## triana1326

My 3 y/o DD complained of her yoni hurting a lot at the beginning of summer. It was my DH that solved the riddle - sand. We would rinse off feet and legs when we came home from the beach every day, but wouldn't do a full-out bath until that evening or even the next day...









Once we discovered it was because of the sand from the beach, she was fine. Just a thought...HTH


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## LROM

Since the doc already looked and didn't see anything obviously concerning, it sounds like it may very well be one of the PPs ideas: soap, self-exploration, some other irritant.

But I just wanted to chime in on one of the first PPs including abuse in the list even though it's unlikely. OP you said it wasn't possible because she's not alone with anyone long enough for that to be an issue. And I have no reason to doubt that that's true, but it still feels important to ask you if you asked her simply whether anyone else touches here there or not or whether anyone has hurt her there and see what she says.

I totally get not wanting to be alarmist, and not wanting to freak yourself or dd out. And maybe you did already ask her that and you just didn't say so here. But the fact that you don't think she's alone with anyone else long enough for that to be in an issue does not remove the fact that in this kind of case, especially when so far you haven't identified exactly what the problem is, it is *always* a good idea to ask (in a non-alarmist, kinda light way - but in a clear way) "Honey, does anyone ever touch you there?" and just see what she says. If she says no and doesn't seem in any way troubled by you asking, cool, move on, cross that off the list because now you've asked and she's been calm and fine about her answer.

But as someone who works for CPS, I have to say that sometimes when child abuse is confirmed, there is a parent or family member who swore up and down that it was impossible. And sometimes it really, truly is their impression that there wasn't the opportunity, but in the end they were wrong about that. So I guess I want to explain why even though you feel it's impossible, it's still worth checking on at least a little since so far no other definite cause for her pain has been confirmed yet.

Based on the doc saying they didn't see anything concerning, sounds most likely that this isn't the issue (sometimes there is physical evidence of abuse, some times there isn't). But it made me nervous that you may not have asked your dd about it in any way to make sure she didn't seem upset or troubled when that idea is brought up.

By the way, for those worried about upsetting your dd, most younger kids who are not being abused will either not even regoster the question (if asked in a non-anxious, non-alarmist way) or just find it curious. And older kids you can obviously explain why you're asking and that you don't want to freak them out, but you also want to remind them that they can and should tell you if ever anyone is doing something to them that they don't want or are afraid to tell you about.

Hope you find the cause soon and that it's as easy as changing soaps or changing the kind of undies she wears.


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