# at what age do you stop supervising swimming pool?



## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

dd who will be 8 in two weeks is a v. strong swimmer. when is it safe to stop supervising her. she has had a couple of incidents when she freaked out in the pool and figured out herself how to pull herself to the sides. the pool is deep in the middle but shallow on both sides.

i feel she is ready to be left alone, but mama guilt is holding me back. i find i am suffering from separation anxiety.

how did you all make this decision. leaving her alone to play in the bathtub alone also was a hard one for me.

one thing she does that has become second nature to her is sing when i am not in the room with her. if i had to dash out to get something i told her to keep on talking loudly or singing loudly so i could hear her as i left her alone in teh bathtub.


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## LoveMyTwoBoys (Dec 14, 2007)

Can she swim from one side to the other with no problem? Or stop to float if she can't make it all the way? If she do one or the other I'd say she is ok for short periods of time.

My 5 yo is a very good swimmer as well. We don't have a big pool at home but when I take them to the public pool or lake, he is allowed to go as far as I can see him well while I stay in the shallow with DS2. They both play alone outside (fenced yard) in the little 8" deep pool but that is totally different.

Good luck with the decision. It sounds like a tough one.


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## possum (Nov 23, 2004)

I might be misunderstanding the situation, but no one should swim alone. I grew up in a very water-oriented family, and no one ever swam alone, but my mother would pop in to refill her water or go to the bathroom when I was around 9 or 10 and my brother would have been 5 or 6 and we were in an in-ground pool. We were both very strong swimmers by then, and we knew how to help each other from the side or run for help if needed.


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## Autumn Breeze (Nov 13, 2003)

Unless you're using a pool with lifeguards, never. And that goes for strong swimmers too. Accidents happen.


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## VillageMom6 (Dec 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
dd who will be 8 in two weeks is a v. strong swimmer. when is it safe to stop supervising her.

Never.


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## leighi123 (Nov 14, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LoveMyTwoBoys* 
Can she swim from one side to the other with no problem? Or stop to float if she can't make it all the way? If she do one or the other I'd say she is ok for short periods of time.


My ds could do this no problem last summer, just before he turned 2. He could also climb out on his own.

I didnt leave him alone last year, but this year for a couple min. at a time where I can see/hear him through the sliding glass doors, I was ok with that.

He could swim (well) before he could walk though and is in the pool every day.

ETA: I was allowed to go to the pool alone when I was in kindergarden. We lived in a building with 6 'apartments' and the pool was down a set of stairs at the bottom of a hill at the bottom of the building (we lived on the top floor). I was allowed to go alone as soon as I was tall enough to 'touch' in the whole pool, which was a giant above ground with a deck around it so not very deep.


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## zebra15 (Oct 2, 2009)

In AZ we have a campaign called '2 seconds is too long' Meaning 2 seconds with adult eyes off the water is too long. No one should ever go swimming alone. This situation is just a tragedy just waiting to happen - even if the can touch the bottom of the pool. Panic, a hit head on the side of the pool, freak accident, health issue, ANYTHING can happen, the filter can malfunction, a freak bee sting... you just dont know.
Leaving a child or anyone is a chance you do not take.

Water safety is something I take very very seriously.


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## Pumpkin_Pie (Oct 10, 2006)

I wouldn't do it either, and my DS is an extremely stong swimmer, even at 3.5. Just grab a book and go with her.


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## hermionesmum (Feb 8, 2007)

Assuming you are using a pool with lifeguard cover and she could swim the length of it I think you are fine. Our local pool rule is that kids can be unsupervised at 8 and my eldest enjoys going with her friends. I don't think we're far away from her being mortified at me going with her, actually.
Our local pool have lots of fun sessions aimed at older kids/teenagers with inflatables, disco music mats etc. which she really appreciates. (and I do to, comfortable with the level of lifeguarding letting her go with friends is a lot cheaper than a family outing.)


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## Attached2Elijah (Jun 27, 2004)

Sorry, but at 8 years old, you should still be with her whether the pool has a lifeguard or not. I was a lifeguard/swim coach until 20 years of age. There's not one of us out there that can watch every child in the pool at every second. My children are extremely strong swimmers (water safety is one of the most important things to me) and I will not leave them unsupervised in water until they are at least 13 to 14 years of age and even then, they should be with someone else. It only takes a second to get too winded and go under. Even the strongest of swimmers can have accidents. 8 years old is just too young to understand the consequences of unsafe water play.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Assuming they are a strong swimmer... when they can drive themselves to the pool and back. I think kids, up to the teen years need adult supervision in addition to lifeguard supervision. Kids can get goofy in a pool, playing around, and it's not about how strong of a swimmer you are. We just had a kid in our county (well, my hometown's county, not where I'm living now) drown this summer who was 12 and on the summer swim team - he and a friend were goofing off in his home pool and the mom was otherwise occupied.

To be clear - I think swimming alone is always risky no matter the ability or age. All kids need the eyes of lifeguards and the parents at pools.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

I am with a PP that no one should EVER swim alone. ALWAYS have someone near by. Accidents happen, whether you are an olympic swimmer or not. Tripping/slipping and rolling into the pool is possible for anyone, no matter how strong a swimmer they are.

If anyone watching my kids ever let them swim unsupervised, Heads will roll.


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## chel (Jul 24, 2004)

we've been traveling alot and all the hotel pools have signs saying no swimming alone

i agree w pp, no one swims alone


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

I also don't think ANYONE should ever swim 100% alone. Anyone, adult or child, strong swimmer or only able to be in water they can stand in, should swim with others around. I don't think that any of those others need to be a lifeguard or anything, but to me, it's a safety in numbers thing. It's just like not walking down a dark ally at night alone, even in a safe area.

Now, I think being ALONE is different from being UNSUPERVISED. And to be unsupervised, I think somewhere around 8, 9, or 10, depending on swimming ability. And also depending on just how unsupervised. Group of 8 year olds in the pool in the backyard while mom works in the garden around the side yard, no problem. Two 8 year olds in the pool in the back yard while mom is inside taking a nap, not so much. But, in general, I do agree that at the age of 8, as a strong swimmer, she likely doesn't need mom to sit right there on the deck to watch her.


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## Sarahfeena (Oct 13, 2009)

I grew up with an inground pool in the backyard, and the house rule was that NO ONE swam alone, ever. Not the kids, not teenagers, not adults. You never know what might happen to incapacitate someone.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Never. No one swims alone.


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## mtiger (Sep 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
dd who will be 8 in two weeks is a v. strong swimmer. when is it safe to stop supervising her. she has had a couple of incidents when she freaked out in the pool and figured out herself how to pull herself to the sides. the pool is deep in the middle but shallow on both sides.

i feel she is ready to be left alone, but mama guilt is holding me back. i find i am suffering from separation anxiety.

NO WAY! I'm sorry, but no matter how strong of a swimmer she may be, SOMEONE should be keeping an eye. My two are 16 and 18, and I keep an eye out when they're in the pool. An ADULT shouldn't be swimming alone. My parents still watch out for one another when one is in the pool. I may not be right there, but I make a point of being somewhere where I can check on them very frequently.


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## midnightwriter (Jan 1, 2009)

In our public pool children 8 and older don't have to have a parent in the water with them.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Our public pool allows age 5 and up without an adult. It drives me NUTS as it is completely inappropriate.

No one should ever swim alone.

My daughter is also eight, and just the thought of letting her swim unsupervised leaves my skin crawling. I'm a lifeguard and WSI, I have tried to ensure that my daughter was a strong swimmer, and she is, but you can't prevent a cramp or something of that sort by being a strong swimmer.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

Another vote for never, i keep an eye on DH when we swim and he's 39! I would say at 8 i wouldn't have to be right with her in the water, but certainly right there on the side.


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## Adaline'sMama (Apr 16, 2010)

_I_ dont swim alone. No one should swim alone.

But, when I was 10 and my brother was 8 we swam unsupervised, together.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

Wow. Sometimes I wonder how we made it to adulthood alive.

I was raised in Phoenix and we, along with all our friends, had backyard pools.

My siblings and I never thought twice about swimming alone. We were all strong swimmers and sometimes, well, you were the only one who wanted to swim so, you did.

I'm sure my mom would peek out the window at us but, once we were strong swimmers, we were permitted to just go swim without a parent having to sit out in the sun directly watching us.

I don't know what my age limit is because we don't have a pool but, I can't imagine feeling I had to monitor my teenager or even my husband for heavens sakes.

I don't monitor my teen age step son or my husband when they're out driving on the roads and that's way more dangerous than taking a leisurly swim in the pool on your own.

I think it depends upon the child, their level of skill and responsibility. But, I'm guessing by about 12, I wouldn't feel the need to sit out with them and supervise. That's not to say I'd go to bed and leave them in the pool but, if I'm in the house and am able to peek outside on occasion then, I think that's adequate.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

My daughter wasn't a wonderful swimmer, so I'd have said maybe 10 with a few friends.


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

Quote:

Wow. Sometimes I wonder how we made it to adulthood alive
Well...the ones who didn't aren't here to post.

The difference between driving on the roads and swimming in a pool is that even on the roads...you aren't ALONE. If you crash, it's incredibly likely that there will be folks who will stop to help or at the very least, call 911.

If you swim alone and something happens, there's no one there to help. In an emergency, be it on the road or in a pool, getting help right away is usually key in preventing disaster. Even if the other person in the water is another 8 year old, that child can at the very least go get someone who can help or call 911. I don't think swimming with someone automatically means that someone has to be there to "supervise" or monitor, just THERE, so that in an emergency help is available or can be reached quickly. Especially since a swimming emergency is usually a silent one. It's not like a car wreck, where even if there isn't another car on the road, there's usually someone near by to hear and investigate.


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## SubliminalDarkness (Sep 9, 2009)

Never. And I don't see the harm in this.


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## Attached2Elijah (Jun 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amcal* 
Wow. Sometimes I wonder how we made it to adulthood alive.

I don't monitor my teen age step son or my husband when they're out driving on the roads and that's way more dangerous than taking a leisurly swim in the pool on your own.
.

1.) When we know better, we do better. Just because our parents weren't diligent in watching us doesn't mean we shouldn't be with our children. Yeah, my mom also did CIO and I turned out okay, does that mean it's okay too?

2.) According to WHO and Unicef
The Top Five Causes Of Unintentional Injury involving children:
1. Car Accidents: Kill 260,000 children a year and injure about 10 million children. They are the leading cause of death among children and a leading cause of child disability.   
2. Drowning: Kills more than 175,000 children annually. Up to 3 million children each year survive a drowning incident. *Due to brain damage in some survivors, nonfatal drowning has the highest average lifetime health and economic impact of any type of child injury.*

We can't always watch them out on the road... we CAN always watch them in a pool.


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## zebra15 (Oct 2, 2009)

I'll say it again *' 2 SECONDS IS TOO LONG'*


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## columbusmomma (Oct 31, 2006)

I started letting DS swim without my "constant" attention at pools with lifeguards at age 7.


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## VillageMom6 (Dec 2, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *happysmileylady* 
The difference between driving on the roads and swimming in a pool is that even on the roads...you aren't ALONE.

Not to mention, if you crash you are still surrounded by _oxygen_.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I agree with never. At least not alone. I could see letting an older teen swim with friends, but again, not all alone.

My 9.5 yo DD has asked to swim with her best friend across the street at her pool when no adults are home. Even though they would have each other, so not alone, there is no way I would be comfortable with that.

It's way too risky, and I don't see any reason for a kid to want mom to give them space and not supervise while swimming. It doesn't mean they are a 'baby', it just means we practice good safety procedures - including not letting anyone swim alone, certainly not a child.


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## amcal (Jan 13, 2003)

The OP is asking about actual supervision where you're sitting by the pool watching your child.

Those statistics are for children - not fully capable teenagers or adults. And I completely agree, children should never be left alone but, seriously, you all think you need to supervise your teenagers and spouses?

Actual supervision? I don't think so. Checking in? Sure. Not leaving the house while someone is in the pool? Absolutely. Not going to bed while there are people in the pool? Definitely.

But, actually supervising teenagers and adults they way you do children? I don't think so.


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## confustication (Mar 18, 2006)

Having been a lifeguard, teenagers almost scare me more than little kids because they really do seem to believe that they are immortal. 'No Diving' has absolutely no meaning to some of them...


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## Evan&Anna's_Mom (Jun 12, 2003)

I think this depends a lot of exactly the situation you are talking about. Do you mean literally in the pool all by herself while you can't see or hear her? Then yeah, I would say not in my house. Do you mean leaving her in the pool alone while you run in to go pee? IMHO that's a judgement call depending on ability and pool architecture and behaviour. I would do it. Do you mean allowing her to use the public pool without you in arms reach? Then I'd say you have to follow the rules of the pool but I would be OK with that too.

We have a pool at home. The kids (7 and 10) always swim with at least one other friend. I generally hang out on the pool deck or just inside the open sliding door (facing out) so I can catch up on the ironing. I watch, but not in "life guard" mode. I am OK with going to the restroom with them in the water (I can still hear them).

When we go to a public pool, I hang out on the deck. When we go to the beach I keep very sharp eyes on them since that seems like the most dangerous time -- lots of people, hazards like big waves, and no one really "watching" each person.


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## Attached2Elijah (Jun 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Having been a lifeguard, teenagers almost scare me more than little kids because they really do seem to believe that they are immortal. 'No Diving' has absolutely no meaning to some of them...

Agree 1000%! They tend to be more dangerous then the little ones.


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## GuildJenn (Jan 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Having been a lifeguard, teenagers almost scare me more than little kids because they really do seem to believe that they are immortal. 'No Diving' has absolutely no meaning to some of them...

The first drownings of the summer in Toronto were two kids around 14; three kids were in a condo pool - one in a wheelchair and he couldn't help; one who drowned, and one who went in after the drowning one (who was revived but then taken off life support, or at least it looked like he was going to be).

So yes teens scare me.









OP I was not clear on whether you meant a pool with a lifeguard. With a lifeguard and two strong swimmers, I think at 10 I would allow them to go under the "buddy system." If you mean a backyard pool, I might go pee or whatever but I wouldn't have her out in it alone, no. A cramp would be all it would take - seriously.

I have swum alone in hotel pools as an adult, cautiously, but mostly have used the buddy system.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Having been a lifeguard, teenagers almost scare me more than little kids because they really do seem to believe that they are immortal. 'No Diving' has absolutely no meaning to some of them...

Agreed. Part of it really depends on the trustworthiness and judgment of the teen.

Both my kids are very strong swimmers who have swam competitively and plan to be life guards when they are old enough. Both have a lot of sense and never need to be reminded about pool safety.

None the less, no one in our family swims alone. We recently started letting my 13 (soon to be 14 year old) be in charge of her younger sister, who just turned 12. She has the temperament and judgment as well as the swim skills.

I've seen so many bad calls on the part of other parents that we don't let our 12 year old go to the community pool unless another member of our family goes because so many parents just don't watch their kids, and while my younger DD is a heck of a swimmer and not foolish, when a bunch of kids get playing and no adult is paying attention, anything could happen. They could get to playing, one could bump their head on the side on the pool, and that could be it.

The stakes are just to high. My cousin's little boy drowned. And not only was his life cut very short, it left such a scar on that family that every life was ruined. I think his sister took it the hardest. She's never been same.


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## MisaGoat (Jul 10, 2006)

another vote for never!

I grew up near the ocean and bay and swam a ton as a child and still love the water. That being said and extremely worried about children and water. I also know that things can happen to strong, adult swimmers that can be completely unrelated to their ability to swim but that could become very dangerous because they were in the water. In my opinion no one should be unsupervised while swimming and yes that goes for adults. I do think the level of supervision varies for ages and abilities.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

aha!! thank you for validating me.

this is a swimming pool at home. i have noticed my roommate does not supervise his teenage sons at all. they usually swim alone.

a friend came over with her 10 year old. and she told me her dd is a strong swimmer so she lets her swim alone unsupervised in the swimming pool.

and i wasnt v. comfortable with that. i realised. just the idea of being alone even though dd is a v. responsible and mature kid. i have gone over pool safety with her in grreat detail so she understands the risks you never take.

however when the 10 year old was here they both swam alone and we kept checking up on them. the pool is kinda a child friendly pool deep in the middle, shallow on both sides. they were talking and laughing so we could hear them.

dd never gets into the pool unsupervised. i never leave her without a warning. so she is careful when i am gone to pee or refill my glass or get a book. she either hangs on the shallow side or gets into the hot tub.

but yeah i hadnt thought about it. it is absolutely never safe to ever swim alone. that totally makes sense. not a wise idea at all.

esp. since drowning is a quiet incident and not a noisy one as i mistakenly thought till i read the article.

though really i should be getting into the water with her to get some exercise


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## Oubliette8 (Apr 15, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amcal* 
seriously, you all think you need to supervise your teenagers and spouses?

Actual supervision? I don't think so. Checking in? Sure. Not leaving the house while someone is in the pool? Absolutely. Not going to bed while there are people in the pool? Definitely.

But, actually supervising teenagers and adults they way you do children? I don't think so.

Yes. It takes about 6 minutes to DIE from drowning under most circumstances. Permanent brain damage can occur before then. Once the person is discovered, it still takes some time to pull them out of the pool. So unless you plan to check in say, every 2 minutes, someone needs to be supervising. Perhaps not like a hawk, but enough that they would be aware if someone went under.

I've read about 3 drownings in the local paper in the past 2 days. All were of adults or teens. One of them involved an adult swimming alone in a home pool. They had some sort of medical event while in the pool and went under. Their body was discovered later. I'm sure they thought they were a strong swimmer and healthy as a horse. It only takes a second for a person to slip and fall, black out, or have another unforeseen emergency.


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## GoBecGo (May 14, 2008)

I think phrasing it that i am "monitoring my spouse" as if it's a terrible or paranoid thing is a little strange - i once stopped my ex from drowning in the sea. I saw him having trouble, i grabbed him and let him rest and get himself together again, we swam ashore together. It can happen to anyone. If i'm in the pool then i am aware of those around me, including my spouse, and if they need help i give it and/or summon the lifeguard. I am not monitoring DH in case he does something stupid - i'm just aware of where he is and how he's doing. Is that crazy? Is everyone else watching their spouse go under, gasping and choking, and telling themselves "he's old enough to look after himself?" Surely not! I'm in the UK, backyard pools are very very rare (it's too cold) and all public pools have lifeguards. If i take my kids to the pool i need one adult for every under-five or one for every 2 5-8 year olds IN THE WATER, not reading a book nearby, and that is with at least 4 lifeguards watching the pool at any one time.

I used to swim competitively and i was once hauled to the surface when cramp hit as a began my 63rd length of a training session. She (a random stranger sharing my lane) did it without thinking, and almost certainly saved my life. I'm HAPPY to be monitored by those around me.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *confustication* 
Having been a lifeguard, teenagers almost scare me more than little kids because they really do seem to believe that they are immortal. 'No Diving' has absolutely no meaning to some of them...

Yeah, in a swimming area that has no lifeguards, I agree that even teens... especially teens... need supervision. Older teens also may mix alcohol and swimming when there is no supervision, which is a recipe for disaster.

However, at a public pool, where there are lifeguards, I'd let a teen go to the pool by themselves, without my direct supervision.


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## Cavy (Aug 21, 2009)

Wow, I guess I'm one of the few who sees value in letting them having autonomy.

Anyway, not least because of the competing demands of my other DC, I often find I need to turn my back on DC in the pool. Our pool lets them go in without parents from the age of 8yo.

One day I watched DS (then 5yo) swim about 30x8m lengths, and I decided it was probably okay to take my eyes off him some of the time. So now I would do things like swim 20m lengths and only check on him every couple of lengths.

I am only talking about situations with life guards around, mind. Wild swimming... I guess I'd prefer them to only go with several adults.

I let them cycle on the road with me from the age of 4-5 so of course I am clearly insane, anyway







.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Some people in the thread are talking about pools with lifeguards, and some are talking about pools without life guards. It's a totally different thing. My kids were allowed to swim without *me* there when there was a lifeguard once they were solid swimmers. By the time I was comfortable with that, they could both swim a 200IM. My idea of solid swimmer is different than some folks.









It was a pool that wasn't overcrowded where the lifeguards stayed on top of things. We've been in situations with lifeguards that I didn't trust -- just too chaotic for me to trust that they would realize if my child did need help.

I don't see that as "not supervising" them. Someone else was supervising them.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *GoBecGo* 
used to swim competitively and i was once hauled to the surface when cramp hit as a began my 63rd length of a training session. She (a random stranger sharing my lane) did it without thinking, and almost certainly saved my life. I'm HAPPY to be monitored by those around me.

I think that the more time you spend around water, the more realize that odd things can happen and a person can need help, regardless of age or swimming ability.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Cavy* 
I am only talking about situations with life guards around, mind. Wild swimming... I guess I'd prefer them to only go with several adults.

oddly, children are more likely to drown when there are several adults. Everyone thinks somone else is watching the kids, so in reality, no one is watching the kids.

you guys will love this story.... We have a community pool with no lifeguard. One mother, whose DD is 8, watches her swim from inside her car, with the windows rolled up, on the other side of a locked gate. Seriously.

(which is part of the reason we have a "you must have a family member with you to swim, other people's parents don't count" rule in our family)


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## EarthMamaToBe (Feb 19, 2008)

Never!


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## lerlerler (Mar 31, 2004)

It REALLY depends on the pool and the life guard situation. We belong to the JCC and it's rarely crowded, well guarded and ALL the lifeguards know my 6 year old DD and her swim ability - at one time almost each of them have taught her swim classes or coached her water polo clinic. She's level headed and a good swimmer.

Just this month I started leaving her for the 2 minutes it takes for my son to go pee - after insisting she stay in the shallow end....

and THAT makes me nervous...

Our pool rules make you get in with them until they can swim to the center of the pool and turn around and get out via the side of the pool


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

I keep my eye on my younger ones who are 6, 6 and 7 when they're in our pool.
But my 16 y/o? I don't supervise him. In fact, he often supervises the younger ones.

I'm shocked at the number of people who don't think adults should ever swim alone. I've been swimming alone - completely alone - for years, often at night, mostly in lakes. (although more recently in our pool) I used to swim in the ocean when we were anchored in tempting water early in the morning before anyone woke, and I'd go far, to islands and back, etc.....I've never in my life thought of it as dangerous (nor will I) , more like peaceful and sanity saving but not dangerous.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
I'm shocked at the number of people who don't think adults should ever swim alone. I've been swimming alone - completely alone - for years, often at night, mostly in lakes. (although more recently in our pool) I used to swim in the ocean when we were anchored in tempting water early in the morning before anyone woke, and I'd go far, to islands and back, etc.....I've never in my life thought of it as dangerous (nor will I) , more like peaceful and sanity saving but not dangerous.

I spent the first 18 years of my life never putting on a seatbelt. I'm really shocked that people think that seatbelts are necessary today. *I* never needed a seatbelt. I don't need one now. I'm a really safe driver, and I know how to drive really well, so I don't really think of driving as dangerous. Riding in the car, standing between the bucket seats, saved my mother's sanity by not having to deal with a seat belt every single time and having me there to talk to her.

Um, yeah... my argument is equally as plausible as yours. ETA: It's not about the fact that nothing has happened so far, but about what is known to be safe and using common sense about staying safe. Of course, there may be less than optimal circumstance, but all things being equal, it's always prudent to take the safest route.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amcal* 
Wow. Sometimes I wonder how we made it to adulthood alive.

Velochic beat me to it! But I was about to say: I was raised without seat belts _or_ a car seat. I rode in the front seat between my parents without a seat belt (the back seat was filled with my sibs, who were also not wearing seat belts).

Thankfully, we were never involved in a serious car accident. My grandmother, aunt, uncle and great aunt were. They all died.

We've learned a lot in the last 40 years. Yes, there is such a thing as being too paranoid, but not around swimming. You swim with a buddy, and there should be a responsible adult monitoring you. That goes for 2 year olds, 12 year olds and 42 year olds.

Monitoring doesn't mean never taking their eyes off of you (though it should for a 2 year old!), but it does mean checking often. If there's a lifeguard, then I'd assume an adult would be OK, but still monitor children and teens.


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## Ceinwen (Jul 1, 2004)

Between 10 & 12 for me.

My sibs and I grew up swimming in the lake by ourselves from around that age.

I still hike out to camp to swim on my own and hike back. That'd be the day I didn't swim if there wasn't someone else there!


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LynnS6* 
Velochic beat me to it! But I was about to say: I was raised without seat belts _or_ a car seat. I rode in the front seat between my parents without a seat belt (the back seat was filled with my sibs, who were also not wearing seat belts).

I'm so old they didn't even have car seats when I was a baby, and no one had ever heard of a bike helmet!

(my mother also never feed me fruits or vegies as a child and still don't have cancer or heart disease, so they must completely unnecessary! )

When you know better, you do better.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *velochic* 
I spent the first 18 years of my life never putting on a seatbelt. I'm really shocked that people think that seatbelts are necessary today. *I* never needed a seatbelt. I don't need one now. I'm a really safe driver, and I know how to drive really well, so I don't really think of driving as dangerous. Riding in the car, standing between the bucket seats, saved my mother's sanity by not having to deal with a seat belt every single time and having me there to talk to her.

Um, yeah... my argument is equally as plausible as yours. ETA: It's not about the fact that nothing has happened so far, but about what is known to be safe and using common sense about staying safe. Of course, there may be less than optimal circumstance, but all things being equal, it's always prudent to take the safest route.


An unrestrained child in a vehicle has nothing to do with an adult swimming alone by choice.
Plus, seatbelts are law....swimming with a partner/supervision isn't....so really, there's no comparison.

And my common sense may be skewed but I guess I'm ok with not always taking the safest route. I really don't want to let the 'what could happens' rule my life.
Now I don't break the law or endanger my children but swimming alone, at night I'm ok with....along with another arms length list of 'dangerous' things I enjoy.


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## velochic (May 13, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
An unrestrained child in a vehicle has nothing to do with an adult swimming alone by choice.

Sure they do... they are both unnecessary risks. Law or not.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
An unrestrained child in a vehicle has nothing to do with an adult swimming alone by choice.
Plus, seatbelts are law....swimming with a partner/supervision isn't....so really, there's no comparison.

Seat belts weren't the law when I was a child. I'm old enough to remember having no seat belt laws, no child restraint laws and darn little car safety. Why? Because we didn't know better. We do know, so we've changed our behavior. Why not around swimming too?

I don't let 'what could happen' rule my life. Our kids actually have quite a bit more freedom than many kids in the neighborhood. But I don't take chances around swimming.


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## ewe+lamb (Jul 20, 2004)

A little boy of 5 drowned this summer in my parents village - his mum had just gone to the loo! Less than 2 minutes she said - it can happen to anyone - for me the answer is never, accidents happen and we all need help with some situations at any time in our lives. My ds's friend also 5 was killed on the 10th august riding his bike for the first time by himself, on the small road just by his house, they thought he was fine - bike helmet, pads all over the place, but he just didn't know how to handle the situation and panicked seconds later he was dead. Things that are preventable I'd rather be there to prevent and then sometimes horrible horrible things happen too, we take risks at any point in our lives, encouraging autonomy is something that is of the uptmost importance when growing up but in doing that we also take risks - it's a really hard balance to find.


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## geekgolightly (Apr 21, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
I keep my eye on my younger ones who are 6, 6 and 7 when they're in our pool.
But my 16 y/o? I don't supervise him. In fact, he often supervises the younger ones.

I'm shocked at the number of people who don't think adults should ever swim alone. I've been swimming alone - completely alone - for years, often at night, mostly in lakes. (although more recently in our pool) I used to swim in the ocean when we were anchored in tempting water early in the morning before anyone woke, and I'd go far, to islands and back, etc.....I've never in my life thought of it as dangerous (nor will I) , more like peaceful and sanity saving but not dangerous.

ITA. Maybe we should never ride a bike alone in the city? Or never allow our children to ride bikes in the neighborhood? Or skateboard in the neighborhood, either. Maybe our adult spouses should be told to never ever ever ride a bike again unless I am with them supervising. I am really shocked at some of these answers.


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## Linda on the move (Jun 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *childsplay* 
An unrestrained child in a vehicle has nothing to do with an adult swimming alone by choice.
Plus, seatbelts are law....swimming with a partner/supervision isn't....so really, there's no comparison.

I don't wear a seat belt or buckle my kids in because it's the law, I do so because I value our lives.

I really can't imagine parenting my kids doing the bare minimum required by law.


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Linda on the move* 
I don't wear a seat belt or buckle my kids in because it's the law, I do so because I value our lives.

I really can't imagine parenting my kids doing the bare minimum required by law.

Wow, thanks for pointing this out! I never realized how little value I place in my children every time I buckle them in my vehicle.









And just a question, would you consider rear facing them until they were three the bare minimum required by law?
Or keeping them in 5 pt harnesses well beyond the time when it was mandatory?
No?
Didn't think so.

I really think it's unspoken that I buckle my kids in because I love them and want them safe I really shouldn't have to explain.

I was simply pointing out that it's the law to wear seatbelts as opposed to adults swimming unsupervised, which isn't the law.


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## starrA34 (Jul 11, 2012)

well one i jus had this argument with someone they tried lettin my lil cuz swim by himself n the pool and he four, i dnt think children should b in the pool unsupervised at all it takes two seconds to drowned, or hit there head or anything. all i can say is if u cant sit outside with ur child or children while they swim they have no bizz out there. this aint directed to anyone but this is jus my point of view, i feel 14-15 resonable but check on them here and there!!!


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## lilyrn11 (Oct 19, 2010)

From my experience taking care of the amount of near drowning victims that come into our hospital. I will never allow any member of my family to swim alone or my children to be unsupervised in the pool. Anything can happen. I have seen healthy adults hit their head. One patient I had was a preteen that got stung by a bee. He proceeded to have an allergic reaction and couldn't get out of the pool in time. When I was a child my parents would not let us swim unsupervised so it really isn't a concept I had to get used to when I became a parent.


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## *bejeweled* (Jul 16, 2003)

Thank Goodness this thread was revived. It's really important. We never ever swim alone.


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

I always supervise if there is only one child in the pool, but if the two of them are in together, I've stopped sitting out there watching. I leave the back door open so that when the screaming stops, I can rush out to see if they are dead. My kids are 13 and 8, and they both swim pretty well, but I tell them to watch out for each other. This is the first year my husband has been OK with them swimming together without me down there.

I'll admit that I sometimes jump in the pool when no one else is there, but I try and let someone know I'm going in.


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## SunRise (Apr 18, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *velochic*
> 
> Quote:
> 
> ...


The swimming buddy system has been around many, many more years then seat belts. It is definitely not a new safety measure.

Swimming with a buddy is a rule in my family. Even w/ lifeguards - I'm much more comfortable and its much more fun for my 9 year old to swim with a friend. If we go to the pool w/out a friend, then he swims near by, or I watch from the deck or we swim together / close vicinity.

As an adult, hmmm, I guess I havent had the opportunity to swim alone. ha. But, I imagine, if I were on a boat in the sea and I wanted to jump in, I wouldn't wake someone to tell them.

edited to add: my perspective comes from many years of swim lessons&safety and then lifeguard courses and swim instructor training , so I may be overly cautious.


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## ~cassie (Aug 31, 2009)

my kids are 7, 5, and almost 4 and we are always out there with them. They are all very strong swimmers but I always worry about them drowning each other! But really, anything can happen, and I just prefer to be right next to them. Now, I will pick up the yard while I watch them but I stay in the area where I can see them easily. My grandmother had a pool and she ALWAYS came out with us, even when we were in our 20s.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

I am in agreement with another person that no one should swim alone. You never know when an emergency can come up, totally unexpected and then there is no one around to help and the person could die just because they were alone for a minute.


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