# HELP-- Two yr old talks in the third person



## vanouche (Sep 23, 2009)

Hi,
My two year old talks in the third person. She will smack her hand and say stop it Mary (her first name). She will also say Mary hit me and so on. My husband has me worried because he said that it's not normal. We are first time parents. Is this normal behavior? It seams as if she can hold a whole conversation with her other half.. Do I have a reason to be worried??

Thanks

Vanouche


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## Magali (Jun 8, 2007)

to MDC !!









I don't have any advice but I think you might get more replies if you post in the toddlers forum.


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## Marylizah (Jun 17, 2005)

Talking in the third person is totally normal at age two.

Pronouns are hard, because they change! "I" means "me" when I say it, but it means "you" when YOU say it! It takes kids time to work them out.

So for many it's simpler to just use the third person. Your child will definitely figure it out quickly.


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## olliepop (Jun 26, 2007)

My dd talked in the third person until she was about 2.5. "Zoe has a wedgie." "Zoe wants a snack." We never corrected her and one day she just started using pronouns! I can't say that she had actual conversations with herself though.

My ds, however, started using pronouns right of the bat.


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## Youngfrankenstein (Jun 3, 2009)

It works for Elmo! I think it's totally normal and will go away before you know it.


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Youngfrankenstein* 
It works for Elmo! I think it's totally normal and will go away before you know it.









GREAT POINT!


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## keeptryst (Jan 12, 2008)

DS does the referring to himself in the third person too, and I find it adorable! So much cuter than boring old pronouns


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## aramat (May 19, 2007)

Very normal!!


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## mommariffic (Mar 18, 2009)

Sorry, but I cracked up because my daughter alwaaaysss talks in third person and she's done the whole "Paige did that!" and it's been good for a laugh

I wouldn't worry, it's totally normal and pretty funny


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## readytobedone (Apr 6, 2007)

yes, very normal. DD never did it, but i hear most kids start with the 3rd person before moving on to use "i" or "me"


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## Holiztic (Oct 10, 2005)

My very advanced (in language at least) DS was speaking in 12 + word complete sentences using if...then statements and words like "eventually" and "usually" (correctly) before using "I" and "you" correctly!

PP was right, its so confusing to a little one that pronouns change!! Its much easier if I am always Mary and you are always Mommy.


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## foxtrot (Jan 27, 2008)

My DS talked in the third person for what seemed like forever. I want to say until he was nearly 3. I can't remember for sure. He was VERY verbally advanced, but talked in the third person.


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## MissMommyNiceNice (May 1, 2007)

pretty normal. DS is still doing it at almost 3.


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## Aufilia (Jul 31, 2007)

I agree, it's pretty normal. Pronouns are tough to master. My DD was very ahead in verbal language skills at 2. Pronouns were the last major thing she mastered.

If you tend to refer to youself as "Mommy" or whatever, it might help to eliminate that from your own speech. I know I referred to myself that way for awhile and when I made a more conscious effort to model proper pronouns and gently correct her usage, she caught on pretty quickly.


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## Holiztic (Oct 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Aufilia* 
I agree, it's pretty normal. Pronouns are tough to master. My DD was very ahead in verbal language skills at 2. Pronouns were the last major thing she mastered.

If you tend to refer to youself as "Mommy" or whatever, it might help to eliminate that from your own speech. I know I referred to myself that way for awhile and when I made a more conscious effort to model proper pronouns and gently correct her usage, she caught on pretty quickly.

That was exactly our experience!


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## kiwiva (Apr 17, 2006)

My DD did it too, totally normal. Also in addition to Elmo, a lot of adults talk to toddlers in the third person. My mom does this all the time "Nanny has to go now," etc. Drives me insane. Even with that DD just stopped doing it at some point. She's almost 3 now.


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## lisavark (Oct 27, 2007)

My husband still talks about himself in third person.









I have no idea why. He thinks it's funny or something.


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## PNCTink (Jan 12, 2009)

My 2.5 yo DD does this as well.


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## averlee (Apr 10, 2009)

My daughter, who is also about 2 and a half, has just started using pronouns some. Like, sometimes she says "YOU do it" instead of "Mommy do it." Or, "Him scratch" instead of "Kitty scratch". And usually, for herself, she either uses her name, or just Baby, or "My". Like, "My tired, my want snack." "My want mommy go with my." I think kids really get the hang of it closer to age 4, and honestly, most adults mis-use pronouns, too.


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## BookGoddess (Nov 6, 2005)

My brother did this well into kindergarten. We never knew why he referred to himself in the third person. He doesn't know now why he did it either. He's perfectly fine and is doing well in life. It's just a funny family anecdote now.


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## Limabean1975 (Jan 4, 2008)

Totally normal! All the other posters have said what I would say.


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## denimtiger (Jan 22, 2009)

Completely normal, speaking as both an educator and a mommy of a 28-month-old dd. My dd has only recently, maybe the last six weeks or so been getting really solid on the "me" and "you" bits (with some adorable holdovers like "Mommy hold you, please.") Although, I hear "mommy" and "mommy's" a lot more often than I hear "you" and "your." She still has no idea about her and him belonging to the appropriate genders... she just uses them randomly.


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## aramat (May 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kiwiva* 
My DD did it too, totally normal. Also in addition to Elmo, a lot of adults talk to toddlers in the third person. My mom does this all the time "Nanny has to go now," etc. Drives me insane. Even with that DD just stopped doing it at some point. She's almost 3 now.

This just got me thinking...I speak to my toddler in the third person most of the time, but she speaks Portuguese already and I am only learning it (at her same pace!), and neither of us can remember all of the correct VERB CONJUGATIONS in this crazy language! So for me, it's better to have the correct verb conjugation with the correct pronoun... She does _understand_ "I" for herself and for others, but *I'm* just not using it very often yet.

She also will say things like, "I want" (Eu quero) and I will ask her, "You want?" (Voce quer?), and she will think I am correcting her, so she will answer "Quer!" Hee hee hee!

I can't really remember, but I'm pretty sure I did the same with my first daughter -- started off the toddler years talking in the third person, but since we were only working on English, I know we definitely started speaking correctly a lot sooner.

I know that when I'm speaking to my kids in my native language (English), I'll often say the same thing two different ways. First the way they haven't mastered, and then the way they know. Repeat until confused look goes away.









...Learning a second language at the same time that my toddler is learning her first has really been eye-opening. I'm watching kids videos in Portuguese, and until I've watched something half a dozen times, I very well may have no idea what the HECK words they are using. Totally understanding toddlers' love of repetition -- they can't cheat by reading all those captions yet like I can -- and really amazed by all their little brains can soak up!


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## milkybean (Mar 19, 2008)

OP do YOU do it? If so, it would especially be normal, because that's what he's learning.

I can't stand the sound of 3rd person, it is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, so I have never done it (and ooh the glare I give hubby when he accidentally does it), and neither did DS. He just started using pronouns b/c that's what he was hearing. NOt always the RIGHT pronouns, but pronouns all the same.


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## srs (Nov 8, 2007)

My DD has just started using "I" and "you" correctly, and it was well after a lot of other verbal milestones. I did start off using more 3rd person when she was a baby, so she would learn my name and her name, but I stopped for the most part awhile ago. However, when I stopped using 3rd person, she just switched to 2nd person, as in "Carry you?" instead of "Carry me?". Getting to the correct pronouns has been a long time coming, and she still mixes them up sometimes.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

While I think using her name instead of pronouns is very typical, I'd be more concerned about all the violence in her speech and actions.

Who's hitting her hand and saying "No, Mary?" She's picking that up somewhere. We don't hit in our house, not even "just a tap" or whatever on the hand. You may want to check out the Gentle Discipline forum for some ideas. It's worked well for us, even with a highly spirited 3 year old.


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## ellairiesmom (Mar 20, 2008)

DD has done it recently-just turned 2 yesterday. We cracked up because we are Seinfeld fans & automatically thought of George talking in 3rd person.


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## tracymom1 (May 7, 2008)

My 2 year old doesn't even refer to himself at all! I would be very happy if he remembered his name!


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## lurve (May 5, 2006)

normal!


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## BarefootScientist (Jul 24, 2007)

I'm glad to hear that this is normal, although I was pretty sure it was.







My son does this too. Common phrases coming from him are...

"E___ (his name) do it!" or simply "E__!" LOL
"Mommy pick you up?"
"Sit next me?" (meaning he wants to sit next to me)

He also says "yours" to refer to his things and "mine" to refer to mine. And "By himself!" when he wants to do something himself.









Sometimes I try to correct him, but it can get quite confusing.







"Your truck!" "No, your truck!"









I am trying to get out of the habit of saying things like "Mommy's going to..." I have no idea why I started saying that but it is hard to stop!









Anyway, yeah...mine does too. I'm sure they'll all figure it out eventually.


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