# Miscarriage at 11 weeks and pain



## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

I had lost the baby this Wednesday. There was heavy bleeding and alright cramping that decreased with the next few days. I felt very uncomfortable after Wednesday like there is still something remained in my uterus and finally on friday I passed another large blood clot. This Saturday I had pain again, but different not like cramping - it's more like when you have trapped gas in your intestines and it was all over my abdominal area, very sharp nasty pain which would increase every time when I have to urinate or have a BM.
Did anybody from you have such experience? Could it be the uterus shrinking or still something retained there? I looked online and all I could find was endometriosis which I haven't been diagnozed with or ectopic pregnancy which they should have seen on the ultrasound since I was in 11 weeks already. I took a Motrin at last and the pain disappear so I could sleep through the night. This morning I woke up better still a little bit of pain but not as strong as it was.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

i lost my baby last weekend at 11w. the baby had died at around 8w. my miscarriage happened in stages over the course of 3-4 days. the first day of pain lasted a few hours in the morning until i expelled a large blood clot looking thing that i thought might be the placenta. the pain stopped and i thought that was it. i started having mild cramps that afternoon and into the evening. my body expelled the baby completely in tact still in the amniotic sac. again, i thought that was it. i had no more pain or cramping or anything the next day. two days later, though, my body expelled what was obviously the placenta. it just slid out with no warning. i haven't had any pain or discomfort since then although i am still spotting a week later.

So, I guess my answer is that it's possible your body hasn't expelled all the tissue yet. If it is/gets very painful and/or the pain continues for several days without letting up and/or you develop a fever or other signs of infection, see your hcp.


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

MarineWife, thank you!
I was better yesterday, may be it was the uterus shrinking back. I took one Motrin in the morning and it lasted me for a whole day and I ws very active with my 2 years old, so I think that was it.
Today is my first day at work and I dread it. I hate sorry and concerned looks especially from people that I know don't really care. But I have to go through this. I just hope I won't start crying.


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

i'm glad you're feeling a little better. it's so hard not knowing what all the pains and twinges are.

i'm so sorry you lost your baby. i hope you get through your day at work quickly. (((hugs)))


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## PhotoJournMama (Aug 22, 2008)

Sorry you are going through this...

I lost my baby this past week as well. The bleeding started on Tuesday (7w5d gestation) and I thought that I had passed everything because I had been having extremely heavy bleeding and lots of clots. However, I continued having cramps and on the 5th day (Saturday)I passed the gestational sac - it was fairly large and unmistacable. After I passed that, the pain stopped completely. I read that once all the tissue is passed, the pain should stop, even though the bleeding may last a while longer (I am still bleeding and having some small clots, but no cramps since Saturday)


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

i hope work went ok for you. remember, though, you have just suffered a tremendous loss. it's ok to take a break and go somewhere to cry if you need to.


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

The cramps came back now after I came back from work. It feels something like menstrual cramps and contractions, I guess I still have something left from the placenta or baby. I didn't see a baby on Wednesday, just placenta and blood clots.
Work was horrible. I didn't break down and cry but I felt completely drained and emotionless, like I was drugged up. I had so hard time concentrating and we were very busy. I hope I will pass everything tonight because I can't deal with blood at work, I will have to call out if it doesn't get better til tomorrow.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

If you haven't seen an amniotic sac yet, you probably haven't passed the baby yet. My midwife told me that the baby and sac should come out all as one piece still in tact. It's quite large and very noticeable and obvious this far along. Take some time off work. It's ok.


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

I did end up going to work, but I called the Ob for an emergency appt, because I was worried from this cramping. They did internal - cervix closed and no new bleeding at all. I went for an ultrasound and was officially declared for EMPTY. Uterus is empty....
I did feel some relief that everything is over but on the other hand I think I was hoping for some miracle or unnoticed twin that it's still there alive and happy. Very stupid! I kinda forgot that that happens only in the fairytales, and mine is called life.
Suck it up and grow some thick skin. My husband said that we can start trying again. It looks like I am the only one who has lost a CHILD, not an embrio







:
I feel so broken. I couldn't birth my first son naturally and ended up with a c-section. I couldn't carry my second son safely in my womb until the time comes up. At least I did one thing right - I miscarried naturally and on my own








Sorry for the vent. Nobody seems to understand around me....


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rumi79* 
I went for an ultrasound and was officially declared for EMPTY. Uterus is empty....
I did feel some relief that everything is over but on the other hand I think I was hoping for some miracle or unnoticed twin that it's still there alive and happy. Very stupid! I kinda forgot that that happens only in the fairytales, and mine is called life.
Suck it up and grow some thick skin. My husband said that we can start trying again. It looks like I am the only one who has lost a CHILD, not an embrio







:
I feel so broken. I couldn't birth my first son naturally and ended up with a c-section. I couldn't carry my second son safely in my womb until the time comes up. At least I did one thing right - I miscarried naturally and on my own








Sorry for the vent. Nobody seems to understand around me....

I know how you feel about the empty uterus. I've been thinking this last week, "What if I have a twin in there who is still alive? Could that even be possible after all this bleeding and clearly losing one baby and a placenta?" I'm sure it's not possible but I still have that crazy hope in my head.

I also feel the same about being the only one who has lost a child. My dh said that he's sorry for _my_ loss. He sad because he knows how happy I was about having another baby. No mention of him losing anything. No sadness for him. I know he's being compassionate. I know he cares about me. It's not quite the same, though, as feeling the same loss that I do.

You have not done anything wrong. None of this has been your fault. Don't blame yourself. You have no reason to feel guilty. Take care of yourself.









(How easy that is to say to someone else and yet how hard to apply it to myself)


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

OK, I survived yesterday - a week after he died. I woke up at midnight and was bowling my eyes until 3 in the morning when my DH woke up and came to me.
I have posted in another thread how much I resented him for not understanding me. When he came he kept asking me what is wrong and I just wanted to kill him for being so dumb. I told him that my baby is dead, that's why it's wrong, cause he was supposed to be in my womb now entering second tremester. I cried so much. He laid next to me and hugged me for the first time after this happen. I told him about my fears that baby is alone, doesn't understand where I am, there' nobody to cuddle with him and nurse him and laughed. He talked to me like I was 3 years old, it was so naive and comforting. He said that if every one in 3 women miscarry then Heaven is full of babies and that they are all together playing and laughing, nobody's alone. Since they are just souls they don't need to be nursed. He told me - What do you think, that there's one big giant titti? I laughed so much just imagining it.
So we talked about it, trying to picture everything in a kiddish way and calmed me down. I am so sore and tired, I didn't fall asleep til 4.30 in the morning but my soul is lighter and brighter.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

That's wonderful that your dh was able to give you some comfort.

I'm supposed to be in the 2nd trimester now, too.


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

Thank you girls for your support! I don't know if I would made it without you.
I feel much better, I didn't cry yesterday at all. I actually feel so good that I thought to cancel my therapist appointment that I have on Friday, but I decided to keep it - it will be a good test to see if I can relive the whole experience without breaking down and crying.
I think I accepted it finally. Nothing could be done to change it. I am just a passanger. Life is so short that it doesn't worth it to focus on the sad stuff.
I will always remember you my little angel and you will be in my heart. But I want to remember the love and happiness I felt when I was carrying you in my womb. I love you


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rumi79* 
I actually feel so good that I thought to cancel my therapist appointment that I have on Friday, but I decided to keep it - it will be a good test to see if I can relive the whole experience without breaking down and crying.

Everyone is different so I am not meaning to tell you what you should or shouldn't feel or do. This is just my experience.

It's ok if you do still break down and cry when you talk about it. It's also ok if you still cry or get choked up or teary eyed for seemingly no apparent reason.

I'm 19 days past the start of my m/c. I was kind of numb for the first week, not really crying much. After it was all over, I cried a lot for a couple of days, totally breaking down and collapsing a few times. Then I started to feel better. I wasn't crying so much. I could talk about it a little. I'd still get tears in my eyes but I wouldn't really cry. I wanted to get back to my normal life. The lab called a week ago Friday to let me know I could come pick up my baby for burial. I thought I was ok until then. I buried my baby under a maple tree in my backyard and spent the rest of the weekend crying again. Again, as the week progressed I thought I was feeling better. I was ready to get out and have some fun with my kids and my friends. Then Friday came again. I guess the day just brought everything back up. I started crying for no apparent reason as I was getting dressed that morning. I went to my therapy appointment that day and was very sad. I've been feeling sad and teary eyed today so far.

I don't know when (if ever) this emotional rollercoaster will stop. I guess the time between me getting upset all over again will become longer and longer but I think the sadness will never completely go away. That's not to say that I'm focusing on the negative rather than the positive. I do try to focus on the positive. I still get sad sometimes anyway.

So, that's been my experience with this m/c so far. This is my 4th. The others weren't nearly this hard to deal with. The 1st came close, maybe. There are some possible reasons I can think of but I don't really know why.

Sorry I seem to keep writing you a book. I feel a connection to you because we were so close in our pregnancy timing and m/ced at about the same time, too.


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## rumi79 (Aug 31, 2008)

May be I spoke too early. we had some friends over today with a baby - 9 months old. But it hurt. I didn't cry but it hurt.


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