# What happens when you lose the second baby?



## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

On July 31, I had a D&E. I was 13 weeks but the baby had died at 7. I had a positive pregnancy test on Labor Day. Monday I went in. I was measuring 6 weeks, 2 days and there was a yolk sac, but no baby, no fetal pole.

I get more bloodwork and another ultrasound tomorrow, but I'm really not expecting any sort of good news. I don't mean to be morbid, but what happens? I don't want another D&E so close on the heels of the last one. Not only does it feel wrong physically, but we just can't afford it.







Do I just sit around for weeks and weeks having pregnancy symptoms and waiting for the baby to pass? Is there anything non-surgical I can ask to have done when I am at the doctors? My body doesn't let go of babies very easily. All my labors have been induced and this was the second missed miscarriage I've had that ended in a D&E. The first was 10 years ago.

I know there's a very small chance things will be OK, but I am just trying to be prepared for the worse.


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)

I am so sorry that you are going through this.







I hope that the u/s tomorrow will be more reassuring.

There is a med they can give you to make the baby pass without the D&C I cant remember the name though.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I guess I'm just thinking that if it's just a sac, it shouldn't be so complicated that a D&E would be necessary? Maybe I'm not understanding it completely though. Thanks for your answer.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

I'm losing baby number 4 right now, I think, as my hCG is only 22 at 14dpo. I've never had a D&E or D&C, I was always given methotrexate and the babies pass on their own. It's messy and uncomfortable, but bearable. The last ones were 7w4d, 5w3or4d, 4w1d, and this baby is 4w3d, but nothing is going to happpen till at least Tuesday, so I'll be 5w2d.

Of course I'm praying that there will be some miracle hCG surge, and I'm praying for you too, that in a few months we'll both be holding healthy, live, crying and nursing and pooping babies.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

I think for something like that, you get a choice among D&E, misoprostol, and waiting it out. The choices may or may not be spelled out but that's usually what I hear. I hope it turns out you don't need to know though!

ETA: Obviously, if you decide to wait it out and nothing happens for a while, you can change your mind later.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

No advice, just lots of







s

I'm sorry...


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I'm so sorry.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
I think for something like that, you get a choice among D&E, misoprostol, and waiting it out. The choices may or may not be spelled out but that's usually what I hear. I hope it turns out you don't need to know though!

ETA: Obviously, if you decide to wait it out and nothing happens for a while, you can change your mind later.

Thank you. Both my other times, because there was such a long time between when the baby died and when we found out, the D&E was presented as pretty much the only choice. I don't know that I could just sit around and wait and keep feeling pregnant for another 6 weeks or so. Thanks for giving me the name of the medicine; I'll look it up and see what I think.

And thank you all for the kind thoughts. My heart is aching tonight.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Phantaja* 
I'm losing baby number 4 right now, I think, as my hCG is only 22 at 14dpo. I've never had a D&E or D&C, I was always given methotrexate and the babies pass on their own. It's messy and uncomfortable, but bearable. The last ones were 7w4d, 5w3or4d, 4w1d, and this baby is 4w3d, but nothing is going to happpen till at least Tuesday, so I'll be 5w2d.

Of course I'm praying that there will be some miracle hCG surge, and I'm praying for you too, that in a few months we'll both be holding healthy, live, crying and nursing and pooping babies.

Thank you. I'm sending you hugs and prayers and peace as well. Maybe it's wimpy, but when I've discovered the babies passed six weeks before I even knew and I was living through what I thought was a viable pregnancy, I just couldn't bear waiting to see if the babies passed on their own. And really, after that long, it didn't seem like things were going to progress on their own.







I admire people who can wait and let nature take its course. I just don't feel like I am a strong enough person.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Misoprostol=Cytotec. You probably know that this drug is much-hated in the natural-birth community for labor induction of full-term babies, but for an early miscarriage, the risk of uterine rupture is obviously not much of an issue. At least that's what I read a couple of years ago, I'll admit I haven't looked it up since 2006. I had a fetal demise in 2005 at 6 months and had a misoprostol induction, which went fine but was of course in the hospital, not at home; but at 6 weeks, you'd be at home.

ETA maybe the second trimester is just very different, but my fetal demise was discovered a few weeks after it happened, and I still was able to have misoprostol. So IF you do have to make a decision, and you prefer that, it might still be an option if you ask. Even if it isn't presented to you.

Also ETA I don't think there is anything necessarily stronger about waiting or not waiting or whatever you choose. Everyone has different preferences.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
Misoprostol=Cytotec. You probably know that this drug is much-hated in the natural-birth community for labor induction of full-term babies, but for an early miscarriage, the risk of uterine rupture is obviously not much of an issue. At least that's what I read a couple of years ago, I'll admit I haven't looked it up since 2006. I had a fetal demise in 2005 at 6 months and had a misoprostol induction, which went fine but was of course in the hospital, not at home; but at 6 weeks, you'd be at home.

That was one of my concerns, so thank you for bringing that up. I'm worried it will hurt. That's stupid, I guess. An advantage to the D&E was being knocked out.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 

Also ETA I don't think there is anything necessarily stronger about waiting or not waiting or whatever you choose. Everyone has different preferences.

I one hundred percent agree. And FWIW, I admire your strength for being proactive about the situation and handling it. I wuss out and wait for it to happen to me.


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## Minarai (Jul 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lolar2* 
Misoprostol=Cytotec. You probably know that this drug is much-hated in the natural-birth community for labor induction of full-term babies, but for an early miscarriage, the risk of uterine rupture is obviously not much of an issue. At least that's what I read a couple of years ago, I'll admit I haven't looked it up since 2006. I had a fetal demise in 2005 at 6 months and had a misoprostol induction, which went fine but was of course in the hospital, not at home; but at 6 weeks, you'd be at home.

Actually, the reason it's hated is because it's NOT approved by the FDA for use as a labor-and-delivery drug. It's only approved to treat gastric ulcers. Doctors only use it because it's cheap or it's what the insurance company/HMO tells them to use. Pitocin is a much, much safer option, but it's more expensive, so not many doctors/hospitals/HCPs use it.


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## ~Mamaterra~ (Jul 5, 2006)

AnnetteMarie,

I have had the last two of my m/c induced with misoprostol. It is very intense but quick.

You start with 2 tablets via mouth and 4 pushed up into your cervix. Then you take another 2 via mouth 6 hours later-ish (if I remember correctly)
Do please consider pain management as it is EXTREMELY intense.

I would not go with another D&E as it could cause scarring in your uterus putting you at higher risk for an ectopic pg. That is what happened with me. I had a D&E on July 9th/07 for twins lost through a missed m/c when I was 14& 15 weeks but they had died around 7-8 weeks.

My next pg, confirmed just before Labour Day, turned out to be an ectopic pg that ruptured and ended with an emergency salpingectomy on Sept 22.

Please feel free to pm me with any specific questions.


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## hippy mum (Aug 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry you are going through this. But I am also sending my best to you in hopes the u/s shows a baby. I read tons of times that only a sac is seen early, and then a week later fetul pole is shown. Are you getting bw as well to track your hcg?
I didn't have a d&c, but I know it can cause scarring like Mamaterra mentioned, which is one reason why I didn't want one. If you definately are going to have a loss, maybe try some very strong rrl tea first to see if it moves things along? If not, then see if they will give you something to jump start things. My mc was very painful and I was in the hospital w/ pain meds, even though everything was happening naturally. I don't know if it matters how far along one is or not?
Please let us know what happens at the appt.


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## moonInLion (Mar 1, 2009)

Hugs, mama.

I had a m/c at 14w6d, with fetal demise at 8w5d, diagnosed at 14w2d.
by all means I wanted to stay out of the medical system, and my doctor was willing to
go with this for a few days given that I had been spotting already since 13w0d.

I got some acupuncture from my naturopath, and used castor oil externally (drizzle on a cloth, put it in plastic bag and then on your abdomen, hot water bottle on top) on her
advice as well.


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## colorclash (Jul 14, 2009)

Ugh. Sooooo sorry that you are going through this again so soon. I went in for spotting at in the 7th week but the u/s showed an empty sac at only 5w1d. My dr. gave me the choice of waiting it out or getting the cytotec, but she wanted me to wait a week to see if things would start on their own. She sent me home from that visit with a pain med prescription and a broken heart. The appt. was on a tuesday. Nothing happened until the following Monday. I was just about to call in to get the cytotec, cause I couldn't stand it any longer. I don't know if it was psycological, but I was starting to feel really bad psycially and I needed it out, and that's when my body kicked into action. I'm glad that my dr. never really put a d&e on the table unless it was necessary and I'm glad I didn't need any meds to get it started. But it was really painful and took about a week to finish. I did need the pain meds, but they didn't totally help, except when they put me to sleep. Again, I am so sorry. I know how hard an early loss can be, and I can't imagine going through two back to back. : (


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## calmom (Aug 11, 2002)

Oh Annette, I'm so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers for some surprise good news.

I had subsequent losses, although farther apart. I had an early m/c and then Matthew was stillborn. There is no right or wrong here so don't call yourself 'wimpy'. These are your babies and this is terribly trying. My mw did give me some nasty tasting herbal tinctures to speed up a m/c but like you, my body just held on for a while. It's a difficult time if you wait. i waited over a week. It was emotional and stressful but looking back, that time prepared me for the actual loss.

Keeping you in my thoughts...


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

My labour with Jesse was induced with misoprostol / cytotec.
I was 23w. He'd died about 4 weeks prior, give or take a few days.

It was in hospital, was 2 tablets vaginally, followed 4 hours later by another 2 tablets vaginally. None orally. And pitocin after he was born.

It was intense, but not unbearable.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I can't thank you all enough for the compassion and caring and information you're giving me. My last birth was a homebirth, and it's been so frustrating switching to doctors and feeling like I have to beg for info. I really appreciate your candor here.


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## LizaBear (Feb 1, 2003)

I was transfered from my midwife to the on-call OB at the hospital with Jesse.

After using only midwives, and the younger kids being home waterbirths, it was just another "thing" that made everything that much harder.

Luckily, even though I wasn't technically under their care anymore, the midwives were wonderful with us - checking in on me, one of them was actually the person who brought Jesse to us and so on.


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

Also, personally my experience led me to believe that the body will tend to let go once the mind accepts.

I m/c a blighted ovum at 20 weeks. Apparently extraordinarily long to carry one, but I m/c less than a week after an u/s confirmed it.

Sending you strength and peace.

-Angela


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## flapjack (Mar 15, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *alegna* 









Also, personally my experience led me to believe that the body will tend to let go once the mind accepts.

I m/c a blighted ovum at 20 weeks. Apparently extraordinarily long to carry one, but I m/c less than a week after an u/s confirmed it.

Sending you strength and peace.

-Angela

Yup. I don't know how or why it works, but it does.

If baby's definitely gone, you may want to check out the sister zeus website for herbal options. Women have been ending pregnancies for centuries, many of them because they weren't viable. Other than that, I'd look at the medical option; if you're turning to google, the drugs involved are mifepristone and misoprostol, both of which are licenced in the UK for this purpose and for abortion, and used on the NHS- therefore, the evidence for their safety IS out there.








I'm so, so sorry and I'm praying for a miracle for you.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Thank you. I've been so strong through all this and I'm really starting to lose it right now, the closer I get to finding out. Just an hour and a half more...

I have to keep it together for the kids. I'm trying so hard.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Minarai* 
Actually, the reason it's hated is because it's NOT approved by the FDA for use as a labor-and-delivery drug. It's only approved to treat gastric ulcers. Doctors only use it because it's cheap or it's what the insurance company/HMO tells them to use. Pitocin is a much, much safer option, but it's more expensive, so not many doctors/hospitals/HCPs use it.

I'm aware of that. But Pitocin is not used for early miscarriages, is it? I'd never heard of its being used except for late miscarriages and live L&D.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Annette, yes, misoprostol does hurt. Experiences vary, and in general (though not always) it's more painful the farther along you are, but it can _sometimes_ be the same intensity as a full-term birth. But, so can a naturally-passed miscarriage (my grandmother said she had an early miscarriage that passed naturally that felt the same as her full-term births). So if you decide not to go with another D&C, and it does turn out you have miscarried, I have been told that often an early miscarriage will not be as long or as painful as a later one, but sometimes it can be; so you'll want to plan to be out of commission for a little while in terms of child care, and possibly to have some pain management.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Is it something you can take at home then, or do you take it under a doctor's supervision?


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

I have my fingers crossed for you. so sorry you're going through this


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Early on, I think you take it at home. I've mostly heard of people taking lots of Advil with it, but you could ask for a prescription for something stronger just in case you need it. Since you'd probably need to get the scrip for misoprostol filled anyhow.


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## jtrt (Feb 25, 2009)

I am sorry for your losses....

I had three consecutive miscarriages last year and used Cytotec prescribed by my midwife to manage each one at home. The gestation of our "oldest" baby was 9w3d, the "youngest" was 6w5d. Just as each pregnancy and birth is different, each miscarriage was different.

There is no easy way to birth a lost pregnancy but the Cytotec afforded us privacy and a small amount of control and carried less risk compared to surgical management. I was very pleased with the medical management route. I did not find any of my miscarriages physically traumatic or very painful. I would not hesitate to use Cytotec again-heaven forbid.

Gentle hugs to you, momma. PM if you like....

Amy


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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
Thank you. I've been so strong through all this and I'm really starting to lose it right now, the closer I get to finding out. Just an hour and a half more...

I have to keep it together for the kids. I'm trying so hard.











Much







to you and yours...


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## MommaSomeday (Nov 29, 2006)

Annette, I don't have any specific information as my miscarriage occurred naturally - that's how I knew the baby was gone. But I had to post and say that I am hoping for the best for you. I'm not really a praying woman anymore, but I'll be thinking the most positive thoughts possible for a good outcome today. *hugs*


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Well, here I go. Wish me strength!


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## bluewatergirl (Jul 26, 2007)

Strength and many







s to you.


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## MommaSomeday (Nov 29, 2006)

Strength, luck, hope and many *hugs* all going your way.


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

Strength wishes!


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

I'm home. There was a heartbeat! We're not out of the woods yet. There's also a bit of a bleed, a separation between the sac, I guess, since I don't think there's a placenta yet, and my uterus. The doctor said it could be from getting pregnant so close to the D&E? I guess maybe the uterus didn't have time to thicken? I don't know. I'm not allowed to do anything major (including sex or exercise, which makes me crabby) for two weeks and then I have another ultrasound.

Thank you all. I really was prepared for bad news. I mean, this isn't great news I guess, but it's a billion times better than what I thought it would be.


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## LouisianaMomma (Mar 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I'm home. There was a heartbeat!

Thinking & praying for







thoughts for you & your LO.







for


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## Juvysen (Apr 25, 2007)

OMG, so excited for you!!

~~~ sticky baby vibes~~~


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## MommaSomeday (Nov 29, 2006)

Annette - !!!! Yay! I think that's it great news, especially when paired with what you were preparing yourself for. Try to take it easy, and keep us updated.

And I hope I don't offend you when I wish you a very sincere congratulations. *hugs*

Stick in there, little one!


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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)

Oh Annette, that is great news! I'll be sending sticky baby vibes your way. (((hugs)))


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## lolar2 (Nov 8, 2005)

That is good news! Good luck!


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## MCatLvrMom2A&X (Nov 18, 2004)




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## MI_Dawn (Jun 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
I'm home. There was a heartbeat! We're not out of the woods yet. There's also a bit of a bleed, a separation between the sac, I guess, since I don't think there's a placenta yet, and my uterus. The doctor said it could be from getting pregnant so close to the D&E? I guess maybe the uterus didn't have time to thicken? I don't know. I'm not allowed to do anything major (including sex or exercise, which makes me crabby) for two weeks and then I have another ultrasound.

Thank you all. I really was prepared for bad news. I mean, this isn't great news I guess, but it's a billion times better than what I thought it would be.


YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Jenifer76 (Apr 20, 2005)

Yay, that is good news!


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## joates (Feb 27, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *annettemarie* 
On July 31, I had a D&E. I was 13 weeks but the baby had died at 7. I had a positive pregnancy test on Labor Day. Monday I went in. I was measuring 6 weeks, 2 days and there was a yolk sac, but no baby, no fetal pole.

I get more bloodwork and another ultrasound tomorrow, but I'm really not expecting any sort of good news. I don't mean to be morbid, but what happens? I don't want another D&E so close on the heels of the last one. Not only does it feel wrong physically, but we just can't afford it.







Do I just sit around for weeks and weeks having pregnancy symptoms and waiting for the baby to pass? Is there anything non-surgical I can ask to have done when I am at the doctors? My body doesn't let go of babies very easily. All my labors have been induced and this was the second missed miscarriage I've had that ended in a D&E. The first was 10 years ago.

I know there's a very small chance things will be OK, but I am just trying to be prepared for the worse.

First I want to say, sorry for your loss. I will also say, I hope you keep hope. I have had two losses, the 1st at 8 weeks, the 2nd at 20 weeks gestation in April of this year. Right after that, I went to the doctor to figure out what was going on with me. I have an incompetent cervix, once I was tested to rule out any other things, I got pregnant right away. I'm now 14 weeks pregnant and just had a cerclage placed on Monday. I have to stay positive, getting pregnant so soon after my loss (almost 2 months later), and knowing there is a chance this surgery won't work, I have to stay positive, it is the only way to cope.

I hope you stay positive and understand that most people have great, normal pregnancies, and this one might be ok.


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## hippy mum (Aug 12, 2006)

Congrats to you. Just take it easy. Could it be bleeding from the messing around and checking you? Sending sticky vibes to you.


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## HoosierDiaperinMama (Sep 23, 2003)

Annette-I am holding you close in prayer that this little one will stick with you.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Thank you Amy, and everyone else. Right now I am feeling cautiously hopeful.


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