# Moms bathing with sons...for how long?



## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

Just curious as to your opinions on how long a mother should bathe with her son. My son is still very young, only 18 months old, but I did wonder last night how long I should continue getting in the tub with him.

We sure had a lot of fun, though...he's discovered that empty bottles make great water cannons!







He was having so much fun that he was turning purple and shivering but kept saying "No!" when we'd ask him if he wanted to get out.

- Jen


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## marieangela (Apr 15, 2003)

My ds is just over 2 years old and I still bathe with him. I'm really not sure how long we'll continue. I'm just going to play it by ear. I think it really just depends on how long you're comfortable with it.


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## karendrema (May 20, 2003)

..My husband was very concerned with this with our daughter, though they don't bathe together, he walks from teh shower to get dressed, etc and she sees him. I didn't know it was bothering him until he asked our doctor about it at our checkup. (She's very AP)

Anyway, I liked her answer - keep doing it as long as you are comfortable with it - eventually the child will get old enough (like around 3 or so) to start noticing and asking questions and that is probably the point most folks become more discreet.


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

That's good...I do enjoy bathing with him because he's so cute and splashy. I just won't tell my parents or my inlaws about it, I'm sure they would be horrified!









- Jen


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## lovebugmama (May 23, 2003)

DS is 2 and most nights dh and I both bathe with him. It still feels fine to us, but I agree that it will just start to feel "weird" to you or him and that will be your signal to stop. Right now, it's my favorite time of the day - we are all together, dh and I get to talk and Ethan thinks it's so fun to have both parents' attention while we all play in the tub.


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## Dakota's Mom (Apr 8, 2003)

I don't bathe with my son but I do have aa similar issue in that I don't wear anything to sleep in. I have recently begun wearing nightgowns. And my husband is complaining. But my son is 2 1/2 and he has starting touching inappropriate places. It makes me uncomfortable so I decided to cover up. He still sees me in the bathroom and getting dressed. But I'm just not comfortable sleeping or walking around the house naked any more. I think the answer is when you are uncomfortable. If it doesn't bother you and it doesn't bother your son than don't worry about it.

Kathi


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

You just hear so many horror stories about people who get naked photos of their kid developed and suddenly CPS swoops down and places them in foster care. I don't want to be accused of anything sick and demented just because we take a bath together.

What a crazy litigous world we live in.

- Jen


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Well, ds #1 didn't bathe with me past the age of one, because I hate baths and he has always been terrified of the shower. Also, when he was little I worked full time and usually showered before he woke up in the morning.

Ds #2 climbed in the shower with me frequently until he was about six years old. He never verbally expressed any discomfort.... he just quit doing it. Now he freaks out if he walks in on me while I'm in my underwear.







I ask him what the big deal is.... I'm not showing any more skin than I do at the beach! He says it's different because it's underwear. :LOL


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## lifetapestry (Apr 14, 2003)

I still occasionally take a bath with my 3 1/2 year old (who is still nursing and really likes to nurse in the tub). Once I thought he was touching me around my cr*tch, but he was just trying to find a matchbox car that he dropped. I think if he started "exploring" I would simply move his hand and ask him not to touch me there. I think he is well aware of the off-limits part of my body, though, so he doesn't try to touch.

I don't think there's an age limit that makes baths together "demented" (well, maybe past puberty . . . ), but I agree with the others that if you feel uncomfortable doing it, you should stop. For me, I think that will be after he weans (on his schedule), probably in the next year or two.

Karla


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## blessedwithboys (Dec 8, 2004)

i have showered with my dc up to age 4. if i had girls it prolly woulda been longer. my youngest sister bathed with dm til maybe 6 or 7. my now 9/almost 10yo sees me nakey regularly, its no biggie to him. but i wont bathe/shower with him (he doesnt ask). funny thing, he spends every other weekend with his df. df has not seen him naked in yrs. he is modest around df, but not me. tells me i did sumpin right.


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

Thanks for your comments...I'm not uncomfortable so no biggie. I just won't tell my parents because they would not approve!









I also wanted to say that I saw lifetapestry's handle and at first thought it said 'lifepastry'. Now I'm hungry! :LOL

- Jen


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## FancyPants (Dec 25, 2004)

My ds1 is 4 and will still jump in the bath with DH (who loves baths bc he can read in them). If the door to our bedroom is open, ds1 will jump right in. Also with showers but if it's me he does not. ds1 and I stopped having baths together but I don't know how it happened, it was so organic. The last time ds2 was 6 mos or so and we all had one together. Once ds2 could sit up by himself they started having baths with each other.
My parents have a picture off all my sibs and me in the bath together, lined up in a little row. It's super cute.


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## Ahimsa (Apr 7, 2004)

I have thought about this too. I have to agree with everyone else that it will probably stop on its own naturally when one or both of you begin to feel uncomfortable. A child I babysat bathed with his mother for awhile, until he was 7 or so and then just stopped on his own.

Ahimsa


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## KathinJapan (Mar 25, 2003)

I live in Japan where it is perfectly normal and natural for the family to bathe together. It will end when it ends. Japanese baths are deep and you can reheat the water, so you can stay in for a looooong time.
Kathryn


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KathinJapan*
Japanese baths are deep and you can reheat the water, so you can stay in for a looooong time.

Ahhh.... the _furo_. I have good memories of that. My grandparents had a furo and shower in their finished basement. When I was a little girl, me and my parents would go hang out in the furo when we'd visit. It was calming and peaceful.


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## mainegirl (Jul 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KathinJapan*
I live in Japan where it is perfectly normal and natural for the family to bathe together. It will end when it ends. Japanese baths are deep and you can reheat the water, so you can stay in for a looooong time.
Kathryn

Okay...now I want a pastry AND a Japanese bath!

You think I'm joking but I'm not









- Jen


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

Until he asks me stop or tells me he is uncomfortable.


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

No, but seriously, HollyBearsmom is right. Until ds starts feeling uncomfortable and covers his eyes around my nakedness, we won't have a problem. Ds currently takes 95% of baths with dh anyway. But with mommy he gets to do the bubble bath!









Cheers,


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## intensity_too (Nov 21, 2002)

Both my sons (age 14 months and 3 y/o) still shower with me. I was never big on taking baths with them though I did when they were wee little things. My 3 y/o is to crazy to bathe with. He likes to "swim" and, well, I just get in the way. I still bathe with the 14 month old on occassion.

I'll keep doing it until my 3 y/o gets a little too touchy or he expresses the want to shower by himself.

Now, my DH won't shower with the boys often. Only when he absolutely has too because when my 3 y/o was around the age of 2 . . . he got curious and pulled on DH's oenis in the shower. I think my DH is permenetly scarred from that experience. :LOL


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

Quote:

Until he asks me stop or tells me he is uncomfortable.










Still taking baths here with DD (6) and DS (3). It's getting pretty crowded, though!


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intensity_too*
Both my sons (age 14 months and 3 y/o) still shower with me. I was never big on taking baths with them though I did when they were wee little things. My 3 y/o is to crazy to bathe with. He likes to "swim" and, well, I just get in the way. I still bathe with the 14 month old on occassion.

I'll keep doing it until my 3 y/o gets a little too touchy or he expresses the want to shower by himself.

Now, my DH won't shower with the boys often. Only when he absolutely has too because when my 3 y/o was around the age of 2 . . . he got curious and pulled on DH's oenis in the shower. I think my DH is permenetly scarred from that experience. :LOL

LOLOL similar thing happend with my dd and my ex DH. She was sitting in the shower, about 2 1/2 years old, and he was standing up with his eyes closed rinsing his hair. She decided to stand up too, and grabbed the most convenient "handle" to help herself up. LOLOL That was her last shower with Daddy.

That said, my dd is 8 1/2 now and my ds is 4 years 11 months.....and we all still bathe together, they bathe together and both occasionally jump in the shower or tub with me. DD showered with my current husband at the health club after swimming until she was 5 1/2, when the club decided kids over 5 shouldnt' be in opposite sex locker rooms anymore. And we all still hang out in various states of undress in teh evenings.

-Heather


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## Carolinamidwife (Dec 18, 2001)

I still shower with my 5 year old... I feel like he will want to curtail it soon, he has started to close the door when he goes to the bathroom.










I used to shower with my dad as a toddler until one day I pointed to his penis and asked him what it was... after he told me I asked him if I could kiss it! My mom said he called her in and when she came in he was just holding me out of the shower and that was the end of that, lol.


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## Dakota's Mom (Apr 8, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intensity_too*
Both my sons (age 14 months and 3 y/o) still shower with me.

Now, my DH won't shower with the boys often. Only when he absolutely has too because when my 3 y/o was around the age of 2 . . . he got curious and pulled on DH's oenis in the shower. I think my DH is permenetly scarred from that experience. :LOL

This reminds me of my own DS and DH. DH was in the bathroom in mid-pee. DS walked in and grabbed daddy's penis. Before he could react, DS had pulled his penis around and squirted himself right in the face. My husband doesn't even want DS anywhere near the bathroom now. I think he is tramatized by this event. I couldn't stop laughing.

Kathi


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## ShadowMom (Jun 25, 2004)

I am LMAO at the stories in this thread!!!


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## juliebuggie (Dec 31, 2004)

My son is 3 and i still shower together. It is just easier in our busy life. I will do it until he or i feel uncomfortable.


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## abbylotus (Dec 29, 2003)

I am lmao off at the above threads!!









I still bathe with my kids...15mos and nearly 3yo....I think we will "out grow" the bath tub before it gets weird! I guess I just don't think about the nudity thing very much....it was never a big deal when I was growing up, I never felt uncomfortable. My dad died with I was about 5yo and I remember him walking around nude upstairs and showering with him....I used to love taking baths with my mom, but she wasn't a 'bath' person.







Also, I am Finnish American and the whole family, including the grandparents, would take nude saunas on Saturday nights together.


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## annethcz (Apr 1, 2004)

You'll know when it's time to stop. Really, you will.

My son is almost 5. I don't bathe with him on a regular basis, but he does hop into the shower with me every once in awhile. As long as we're both comfortable, it works.


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## mattjule (Nov 6, 2003)

omg, that peeing story is so funny!!!!!

I still bathe with ds, he'll be 3 in March. I think he just prefers a playmate to being in there by himself. And I think he also likes the cuddle time. On my birthday (2 days ago), he laid in there with me for about 15 minutes while I hummed to him and stroked his hair. Those moments are so few and far between when he is up and running-it was the best present I got that day.

I have a question for you all, what do you do when your ds DOES get curious about your genitals? He is really fascinated by my breasts (he weaned a few months ago) and has taken to stroking them and touching the nipple a lot. We talk about how that is where his brother nurses and that mommy doesn't like it when he pinches my "nursies" (what he calls any part of my breasts or the whole thing). That weirds me out a little but I try not to be since it is very innocent and I really want him to be comfortable with bodies (unlike me). But he has tried to touch my vulva before and I just moved his hand and didn't really talk about it. As he gets more curious, though, I don't know how to respond. I mean, I touch his penis all the time-cleaning him up after he poops (he hasn't fully PL'ed yet) and especially in the bath when we wash. He hasn't figured out how to wash himself yet and doesn't have any interest so I still wash his penis and scrotum. How do I explain that it isn't okay to touch mommy there but it is okay for mommy to touch him there? I hate to stop bathing with him, especially b/c of something that wouldn't be fully explained, yk? I don't want to give him a complex.


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