# I really want to have a baby....how can I?



## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

I want to share this here because I am so at home here...I feel you all as sisters - we have been through so much each of us and we have become like a family.

I really, really want to get pregnant. I am frightened. What if I miscarry, what if the copolscopy surgery has damaged my cervix and made me unable to conceive......I will try to find out from my midewife next week if my cervix looks good or not.

My dh and I have tried each month to get pregnant. I had thought our timing was in the "baby making zone" but perhaps I was wrong. Can anyone give me hints on this? I am so ready. this month I would have been delivering our second child but the universe - God had other plans....perhaps now we can try and we will have a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby.

Do you all have any ideas for me on how I can ttc?? What is the best time for conception? I am clueless.....help

thank you so much

blessings and peace,
Beth

ps: any ideas on safe herbs or supplements to take for ttc, i am still bf-ing my 2 1/2 yr. old dd.


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## Ms. Mom (Nov 18, 2001)

Beth - I'm glad you came here to post. TTC after a loss is a unique situation. You've been through so much over the last year and your frightened.

I think what's most important right now is to look at what you _do_ have controll over. Get the facts from your midwife. This way you can give in to what you _cannot_ change.

Our bodies are very unique and your situation will prove to be the same. I know it's sad to go through the due date with no life inside. You feel truly 'empty' inside.

You may want to lurk in TTC for information on herbs and such. Pretty much the same herbs that are ok for ttc are ok for breastfeeding.

Look at your cycle, is it regular? It's not uncommon to be a bit irregular after a copolscopy. However, the scare tissue shouldn't cause you to be infertile.

I too had a copolscopy - about 13 years ago. I had my follow-ups and nothing has EVER come back. There is a small amount of scare tissue near my right ovary. I've been told that it could make conception difficult when I ovulate on that side, but it should not cause me to be infertile.

Sending you hugs across the miles and hoping you can get the information you need to make the right decisions for you. Remember - you DO have controll over many things in your life and within your body.

Love and Gentleness,

Jacque


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

A few suggestions~

Are you charing your temps and mucous? This can really help. Also, my cycles were shorter after we had Xiola. Whereas my cycles used to be 28-29 days, they became 25-26 days. We BD'd @ cd 14 for a few months before I realized that I might have been missing my O. The next cycle we BD'd on cd's 11&12 and we nailed it.

Also there is a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility that a lot of ladies have found helpful. It offers suggestions on herbs and nutritional therapy to maximize your chances of conception.

Also, if your cervix is damaged, an OB can put in a stitch to keep the cervix from opening prematurely. It's really a pretty common proceedure... but I am not sure how damaged your cervix would be after one proceedure. I got the impression from my reading that it usually takes several surgeries before the cervix becomes damaged to the point of needing help to carry the pregnancy. Talk to your midwife, she should be able to tell you what's going on.

Oh, and I really hate to say it... but some ladies have trouble concieving till their nursling weans, the body figures why have another baby since this baby still needs you. Depening on how often your child nurses, you may not be ovulating regularly. There may be ways to get around this with nutritional therapies. Check out the TTC board as you are not the only one here ttc while nursing a child. I am not suggesting that you wean, I just did'nt want you to think that there was something more serious keeping you from concieving.

I wish I had more to offer... ***baby dust*** to you, you deserve it!!!

XM


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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

Thank you XM and Jacque, I have had a terrible day...on the phone all day dealing with bankers and the title company, one person says one thing the other says something else! ARGH!! Dh and I are trying to close on refinancing and consolidating our debt, including our mortgage(we got the lowest interest rate at 15 years, so we took it) . I hate dealing with money, I have never been good at it. Anyway at the closing we were told from the bank that we would get $5,000.00 that would be left over and that would be ours. But now at the last minute we have nothing and we owe them....the closing fees and interest and costs at the last moment cost us $5499.70.








So tomorrow am (the closing is at 10:30 am) we have to dash to the bank for a money order! $500.00 of our own money, gone...no christmas here!! I have been crying all day, what is it with this year, what hellish thing have I done to get knocked around like this over and over this year?? I just am wondering...I know that there are those that have to deal with far greater things in life and please forgive this pity party - I am just beside myself with hurt and anger. I am just ready to cry and never stop!! It doesn't help that dh blames me for our money woes.









Thank XM and Jacque for listening and for the kind words you have written, I have researched the bf-ing angle about conceiving and tandem nursing etc, I feel that my body just wasn't ready this past spring. I really hadn't even had a real cycle before getting pregnant. Perhaps my body wasn't able to give the baby a place to develop properly. No real nutrients in my uterus..etc. I will see my midwife next Wednesday to find out how my cervix has healed from the small procedure. I will also have a follow-up pap...I have to have them every three months now for awhile.

2002 was the worst year of my life, I hope 2003 can be better and I found a book by Susan ****** about the Year Ahead - it's astrology - and for Aries it says "pregangcy glows in early 2003" so I hope this astrologer is right!! I have to read more but so far 2003 looks like happy change from 2002!!!!!

Thanks for listening friends,

hugs to you both,

peace and blessings,
Beth









ps: hey, xm are you tinker bell ? Thanks for the ***baby dust***


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## XM (Apr 16, 2002)

Yeah, Beth, I am right here with you on that one... 2002 was defintely the worst year of my life as well. And it's hard enough to deal with a loss without having to deal with all the things that have come your way this year.

Are you sure your bank did'nt make a mistake? That just doesn't seem right...


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## lamplighter (Nov 20, 2001)

Dear XM

The morning after: i've slept and feel a bit better. thanks XM for the hugs and sympathy...thank god 2002 is almost over...no bank mistake, we sign on the dotted lines this am and then I try to budget our lives on $1400.00 a month after paying for the mortgage and insurance...bills and food and essentials on $1400.00? I hope we can do it. I am scared.

If I go back to work, which might be an option, tax wise it doesn't make sense. I have talked to our tax attorney every 6 months or so to see if I should. He suggests that I stay at home. I have my own business and wouldn't earn enough income to make it worthwhile.

got to go have a great day

blessings,
Beth


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