# Don't know what to do (in middle of m/c)



## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

I really need your help ladies. I found out several weeks ago that I have a blighted ovum and am waiting for the m/c. The sac stopped growing at 6.5 weeks and I am now in my 12 week. I have dealt with what is going on (mostly) and that this isn't going to result in a baby. I still get depressed sometimes but I am dealing with it. About 2 weeks ago I decided to go ahead with a d&c so I could just move on. The day before the surgery I found out my insurance won't pay for it with the dr. I have. No one at the insurance coWmpany can tell me if my other work (the other office visits, the bloodwork, the ultrasounds, etc.) will be covered - sometimes they say it will and sometimes they say it won't. There is more to the story and a lot of it is a stupid paperwork issue that I have no control over. I don't want to bore you with the details. So basically I am not sure if I go to the clinic (I was going to a clinic with a group of midwives) if it will be paid for or if I will have to pay for it. The one person who seems to be able to help me with this won't return my calls. So . . . I don't want to go to the clinic unless I absolutely have to until I find out if it will be covered (God only knows when that will be). However, I also don't want to put myself in physical harm by not going to the dr. I have started to bleed a bit more (more like heavy spotting) but still no cramps. I have no idea when the m/c will happen (I guess no one really does.) I guess what I would like to know is if you think I need to go to the dr. or can I just have the m/c at home safely? When should I absolutely go to the midwives? If I have the m/c without going to the dr. should I see someone after the m/c? I am sorry if I am rambling a bit but I just don't know where to turn. Mostly I can't believe this is happening to me . . .


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## Kerrie (Jul 23, 2003)

I don't have any answers, just wanted to offer my condolences on your loss. I am so sorry that while you are experiencing this you have to deal w/ paper work and ins. issues. My thoughs and prayers are with you.







s


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

You have been waiting 6 weeks now?










What a nightmare, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. How many days have you been bleeding? Is it like a period or heavier? You need to check for fever..if you have a fever/flu symptoms you need to see a Dr. If you are having to change pads every hour or so you should probably go to the Dr as well.

You can safely miscarry at home..but make sure you drink plenty of water. It is important to stay hydrated and keep track of your temperature.

Also, I notice you have two young children, you might try and see if your dh can take a day off of work or so to help you or maybe see if a family member can assist you. Miscarrying is really hard on your body and you'll need a lot of rest.










I am so sorry for your loss.


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## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

I don't think I have a fever but I should take my temp just to be sure - great idea. I am not really bleeding heavily at all. Last week or so I started having about a spot a day. Then the last 2-3 days I pretty much have blood every time I wipe but nothing like a period. A lot of times it is just old blood. I would still call it spotting but more than before. About the same time (2-3 days ago) I saw a little piece of tissue (at least I think it was - it was a little tiny chunk that looked about the texture of a raw chicken liver - sorry to be so graphic). I still don't have any cramps - well, maybe every once in a while a little bit but nothing really severe or long lasting. I have noticed that I am a bit more irritable than usual - almost like pms - but I don't know if that is just because I want this to be over with.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Don't worry about being graphic, sometimes you can't really get around it and we really do want to help and well..sometimes that is just the best way to describe things. We really don't mind.









How are things going with your ins? I would be beyond furious with them at this point. You are going through a very painful experience and they are being stupid! GGR! It makes me mad! They need to get their butts in gear and give you the care you are paying for.

I have never heard of ins not giving prenatal care or D&Cs in the event of a loss. You should be covered. Is it that it is a midwife that is the problem? Sometimes that happens but they should still be able to answer your questions.

If you are just spotting still after six weeks it might be a concern. You might want to see someone within a couple of weeks if things are not progressing.









I am so sorry for you loss and find it awful you have to go through all of this ins crap.


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## shannon0218 (Oct 10, 2003)

Kathy, I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. A miscarriage is hard enough on it's own without compounding it with insurance issues.








As Abimommy mentioned, 6 weeks is kinda the "limit" for it to start on it's own. That said, lots of women wait longer and are fine. The other thing is that with a blighted ovum, you may very well absorb the tissue instead of actually passing it.
Read up on other's miscarriages, perhaps you'll find some more usefull information.
Drink lots, rest lots and don't ever worry about being graphic here.


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## behr (Dec 10, 2001)

I'm so sorry Paniscus, this must be so hard to go through.
When I had my m/c it happened during one day and I went to my gynec. the next to check whether any big pieces of tissue were left inside. She used one of these vaginal ultrasounds which probably is not as expensive as a regular one. It didn't take much time either. It might be a good idea to get this done if you feel unsure in any way.
In case you did absorb most of the tissue could it be you're just having a 'normal' period?
Best wishes to you!!


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## mommybritt (Nov 19, 2001)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Paniscus and so angry with your insurance providers







Blighted ovums are not like other m/c's and sometimes have their own timelines. If left on their own, they can go as far along as 17-18 weeks. In my case, we discovered that it was a blighted ovum very early (around 7 weeks) and since I preferred to let things happen naturally, we waited to see if the m/c would start on it's own. It didn't and since I continued to have pregnancy symptoms (mostly morning sickness - even less fun when you know that there's no baby there), we went to acupuncture, homeopathy and bowen therapy to try and speed the process up. None of that worked so around 12 weeks, I went on to Cytotec. I did bleed a lot but ended up in the emergency room in the middle of the night because I was passing out with the blood loss. However, even that didn't pass everything as I had retained tissue and ended up with a d&c at 14 weeks.

Who knows what would have happened if I'd just waited but I'm at peace with my decisions as I really needed to get it over with, for emotional reasons and family reasons.


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## armonia (Mar 24, 2002)

I am going through a miscarriage right now, too.

Today is extremely hard for me. Sunday, I started spotting and went to the ER. I had a vaginal ultrasound which showed the baby was implanted just where he/she needed to be. I even have a little picture. I was so happy...but continued to bleed all this week. I tried to convince myself that I was just having a period. On Wednesday, I saw something like you described when I wiped. I have not had any cramping, just bleeding. Yesterday, I had another vaginal ultrasound that showed everything is gone. My baby is completely gone. The dr. said yesterday that I would not need any additional treatment because I have already passed everything. I was 6 weeks pregnant.

I am still bleeding.

I felt ok yesterday because I finally had an answer...my baby is gone and that is what is causing the bleeding.

But today I am overwhelmed with sadness.


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## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

I am pretty sure I have just had the m/c. The last 2 days were kind of like a normal period with regards to the amount of blood but I had cramping off and on for the past 2 days. normally i cramp almost continually for the first day and that is it. i have also been pretty sleepy. Last night around 3 I woke up with bad cramps and took some more pain killer and dh refilled my hot water bottle. I was able to go back to sleep after about an hour. I woke again around 6 (when dh got up) and had SO much blood. It just poured from me!! I couldn't believe the amount of blood. I was expecting a lot more pain than what I had but I wasn't expecting that amount of blood. The blood has slowly tapered off (still a lot of blood though) and I am back to mild but off and on cramps. I am not sure about any tissue loss. there was so much blood and clotting (i guess because i have been laying down so much) that i couldn't tell. I just can't get over the blood pouring out!!

I am so grateful for having MDC. we found out there wasn't a baby about 3 days before we were going to tell everyone i was pregnant so no one knows. i know most people are thinking - oh, but you need the support - but for me it really has been the best choice not to tell. it has been so much easier to just deal with all this by myself without having to answer questions and having comments from other people. that way i could kind of put it out of my mind and only bring it up when *i* wanted to think about it. but it means so much to be able to come here and say what i have been going through and know that i am not alone. thank you all for being there and providing the support that i need when i need it.

how long should i expect to bleed? several more days? i am thinking i will just look for signs of infection (well, fever is the only sign that i know of) and if i just keep bleeding and bleeding. if i have any of those signs i will deal with the dr. otherwise, i will just wait it out and try to deal with the *(%$*&(*% ins. company when i am a bit more stable emotionally. does that seem to jive with what you ladies know??


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## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

Armonia - I am so sorry that you are going though what I am. My only comfort has been that there never was a baby for me. All the ultrasounds just showed a round empty space. It was like the whole pregnancy was in my head. When the midwife first told me there wasn't a baby she also said the good news is you are totally capable of conceiving. I have been clinging to that and it gives me the encouragement to keep trying.


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## armonia (Mar 24, 2002)

Thank you.

My dr. told me that I could bleed for 2 weeks or more. He told me to take iron supplements.

I was so excited about my pregnancy that I told everyone. So now I have to tell everyone there is no baby.

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## behr (Dec 10, 2001)

Paniscus, sounds like a m/c to me too. I too was just amazed at the amount of blood I lost. It takes awhile to get back to normal, in every sense.
I too didn't tell anybody exept for three women I meet with regularly (and one of them was sooo insensitive, it hurt, the others were pretty nice though) I felt it was a good choice exept when things come up and I'd react in a very angry way, people couldn't understand, and that made me feel like more of a freak.
Good luck on your journey!!

Armonia, I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard, and sadness is a big part of it. I had three very rough weeks after my m/c with many tears that would come in unexpected moments, so I became pretty reclusive. I'm better now, almost 5 weeks later, but I come here often, and the stories and words are very healing. It feels safe and comforting to be here. I too have an ultrasound picture of my little bean, and some other reminders. I sit and cry for my loss when I need to.

I bleed for almost 2 weeks and just now my AF returned, 4 1/2 weeks after. My doc said it was normally 5-6 weeks.


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## armonia (Mar 24, 2002)

behr, Thank you so much for your kind words. The tears and sadness do come all of a sudden.

I am sorry about your loss, too.

Thanks again.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

Paniscus, signs of infection are flu-like symptoms, vomiting, fever, dizziness. The bleeding should subside soon, within a week or so.









Armonia, I am so terribly sorry for your loss


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## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

abimommy - thanks so much for your reply. you have perfect timing. i am nervous about infection even though i keep telling myself i am fine. i didn't actually *see* tissue come out but even if i did how would i know if it was all of it, kwim. i am sure it just came out with all the blood and clots. in the evenings i have had a slight fever (around 99) and that is making me a bit nervous. i have the signs of a sinus issue right now so it is probably related to that. I definitely don't have flu like symptoms. i'll just keep monitoring it and taking a ton of vit. c.


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## JessicaS (Nov 18, 2001)

If the fever continues please at least call a nurse hotline or something to get more info.










neither Ms Mom or myself have any medical training, we have just both been through our own painful experiences.


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## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

i will call the midwifery if it continues - they have been wonderful giving me advice eventhough they know the insurance situation. I believe ultimately the mw services will be covered but no dr. services with any of their drs. I didn't have a fever yesterday and felt good until the afternoon when I had some bad cramps - I think I passed some tissue yesterday (looked like a grissly blood clot.)


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## armonia (Mar 24, 2002)

I wanted to come back and check how you are doing. I was thinking about how you posted yesterday about having a fever and that worried me.

Is there a planned parenthood you could speak with? They should have an MD that can advise you and treat you if you have an infection. I think their services are free or sliding scale.

I am still bleeding...this is the 10th day. But it is not as heavy.


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## paniscus (Oct 5, 2003)

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the support and information and caring and just listening. I wanted to give everyone an update - I haven't had any cramping in days and am feeling very good. I am still bleeding but not very much - mostly like a period. I haven't had a fever in days and the fever never got above 99-ish. I really think it was related to the sinus issues I was having at the same time. Or maybe just the stress my body was going through at the time. I don't think I could have gotten through this without all of your support. Thank you so much. Now - I am ready to start trying again!!


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## behr (Dec 10, 2001)

All the best to you, paniscus, and


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## HaveWool~Will Felt (Apr 26, 2004)

lot of love to you


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