# If you co-sleep, how do you arrange yourselves in bed?



## KLM99 (Aug 9, 2007)

We're trying out co-sleeping this weekend. I'm loving it, husband not loving it, but willing to work on it. Yay!


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## dillonandmarasmom (May 30, 2005)

There are 4 of us and a 55 pound dog. We usually go DH, DS, me, DD, dog at ds' feet. Though sometimes DS and DD go the opposite. DS is afraid to be on an end, so if DH doesn't ly down with us, DS wants the wall at his back.

This has worked well for us for almost 3 years, and having DS between us worked well for the 2 years prior.

We have a Cal King sideways, btw.


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## Thalia (Apr 9, 2003)

We have a co-sleeper and she sleeps in that for part of the night, and then part of the night she is between me and the co-sleeper, and part of the night she is between me and DH. It all depends on which side she's nursing on.


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## tbone_kneegrabber (Oct 16, 2007)

Every couple of hours we switch depending on which side ds is nursing on.


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## ann_of_loxley (Sep 21, 2007)

DH cant sleep in a room with us! lol - So I dont have to worry about him.
When he was in bed with us though (when DS was much younger) - it was Him, me, then DS (next to eachother like that) - I wouldnt put a small child in the middle.
When we have another child, if DS is still sleeping with me - It will be Baby, Me, then Him until the baby is older they will not be sleeping next to one another. I feel that is the safest option.


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## butterfly_mommy (Oct 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thalia* 
We have a co-sleeper and she sleeps in that for part of the night, and then part of the night she is between me and the co-sleeper, and part of the night she is between me and DH. It all depends on which side she's nursing on.

















: Except we have a crib sidecared to our bed instead of a co-sleeper


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## isra1986 (May 4, 2007)

My husband and I co-sleep part time. We sleep with the baby between us. She usually sleeps in the bassinet until 4 a.m. then she wants momma and daddy. She puts both of her hands out, one touching me and one touching him.


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## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Me, ds, dh or ds, me, dh. Depends on which side ds needs to nurse on.


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

However everyone collapses!


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## Septagram (Feb 8, 2008)

I'm on the edge, the newborn is next to me, DH is next to him, 2yo DS is on the other end. The cats are wherever.


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## lafemmedesfemmes (Nov 16, 2003)

i voted "other". most nights, it's-- younger ds (9 mo) closest to the wall, then me, elder ds (3 yo), and dh on the outside edge. many nights, though, dh will sleep in elder ds's room because he's too warm or extremely gassy or something like that. (ds does have his own room that he naps in during the day, but we spend our nights together. i figure we'll probably put both kids in the other room when younger ds is about 2yo and i'm hopefully pregnant with number 3.) and of course, younger ds does not always sleep closest to the wall since i do switch sides to nurse on occasion-- but leftie does get the lion's share of the attention at night.









christina


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## bhawkins (Jun 5, 2005)

We have the humanity family bed co-sleeping pillow, so I put DD next to it on the outside, then me, then DS or DH depending on how they arrange themselves.


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

We have our mattress on the floor. My husband is on the edge that's not against the wall. Our almost 3-year-old is between us. Then me. Then Jack against the wall.


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## KyleAnn (May 24, 2004)

Ds is a kicker and dh thinks it's time for him to move onto his own bed







...
so to keep him happy it goes dh, me in the middle (with no room, LOL), then ds on the end.
I'm a super heavy sleeper so ds can kick me all night long and it doesn't phase me.


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## Flower of Bliss (Jun 13, 2006)

We've done every possible arrangement - DD, me, DH; DD, DH, me; and me, DD, DH. We switch from night to night and during the night. Sometimes DD and I switch sides when nursing, other times we nurse both sides without rolling her over me. Sometimes if I'm really missing DH needing space I'll lie next to DH with him next to DD. She gets daddy cuddles and I do too. Often I sleep in the middle, which is generally my favorite place to be unless I'm feeling frazzled and need more personal space. We never spend a whole night in the DD, DH, me set up as DD eventually wakes to nurse and either DH flips her to my side or I crawl over them or just over him to nurse her....

We also have 3 cats that generally sleep in the bed too.







I love the cuddling and changing places to cuddle more


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## naturegirl (Apr 16, 2002)

When ds was an infant it was usually dh, me and then ds on the side with the sidecar crib. He usually didn't sleep in the crib, but it was there. He was occasionally between us but I didn't sleep as well as I worried about dh (he can be a heavy sleeper). Since he was about 2 1/2 (a year now) DS and I sleep in one room and dh in the other. I often play musical beds at night. Fall asleep with ds, go over to dh and then back to ds when he wakes and wants me. The rooms are right across the hall from one another so there isn't much space between us. I have another one coming soon and am trying to figure out how to manage things then.


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## HollyBearsMom (May 13, 2002)

We have a dog in the equation too! Husband takes up more than 1/2 the bed. Our son takes up more spave then I do so I usually end up w/ a small sliver right at the edge. The dogs roams up and down most of the night.


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## Ivan's Mom (Jul 10, 2006)

I am in the middle of my two babies, dada on the sofa. Step-sister worried me that this may hurt our marriage. Seems that we subscribe to the thought that we sleep where everyone can get the best rest.


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## wombatclay (Sep 4, 2005)

I checked OTHER since I didn't see an option for "ever changing"









Basically when we had only dd1 to think about and she was teeny tiny it was:
dd1- mama- dada

Then as she got bigger/started crawling it became:
mama- dd1- dada

Then when we nightweaned during my pregnancy it was:
mama- dada- dd1

Then dd2 arrived and it was:
dd2 in co-sleeper- mama- dada- dd1

Then when dd2 was a few weeks old and I was recovered from birth it was:
mama- dd2- dada- dd1

And now we're at:
dada- dd2- mama- dd1

I'm hoping that in the next 5-6 months we'll be able to make it:
dada- mama- dd2- dd1

but we'll see!


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## Selesai (Oct 26, 2005)

I voted "other" because depending on which boob I am feeding the baby on next, she will either be on the outside of the bed or on the inside. When she gets older and can roll, I will have to buy a bedrail.


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## Mama Poot (Jun 12, 2006)

We switch between baby being in between DH and I and me being in the middle and baby being on the other side of me. I'm a side sleeper and I have to move positions during the night, so when I need to switch sides I bring the baby with me. (granted this is what I did with my boys who are now 2.5 and 1.5 and do not co sleep with us currently. I plan on doing the same with our next baby unless she ends up hating it or something unlikely like that!)


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## genx77 (Mar 13, 2007)

I posted baby in middle but sometime my dh sleeps in another room. He works a swing shift and doesn't wake up till early afternoon and we make a bit of noise in the mornings.


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## dandilion44 (Jul 10, 2007)

I posted baby in the middle b/c thats how it usually is. Sometimes it is mama in the middle...


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## thefragile7393 (Jun 21, 2005)

It's (from left to right), dh, ds, me. And an old grouchy cat that is usually above dh's head. I swear we need a king bed.


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## unlegal (Feb 18, 2005)

From L to R: Me, my 11-month-old, my husband, my almost-4-year-old.

Ciara usually starts out in her bed, and ends up in our bed sometime throughout the night, or by the time my husband leaves for work.


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## momof_3_boys (Aug 22, 2007)

It (usually, sometimes it changes) goes: wall, baby, Mom, Dad, 3yo, 4yo, wall.


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## Twinklefae (Dec 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tbone_kneegrabber* 
Every couple of hours we switch depending on which side ds is nursing on.









: We have a bedrail to keep DS from falling out of bed when he's on the outside.


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

We sleep with our 15 month old in the middle.


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## JamesMama (Jun 1, 2005)

James has his own bed but ends up with us most of the time so it goes DD, Mama, DS, DH


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I checked all of these:

Mommy in the middle, spouse and baby(ies) on either side of her
Baby(ies) in the middle, mommy and spouse on either side
Mommy and baby(ies) in bed, no spouse so I don't have to worry about all this!
Mommy and spouse in bed, baby(ies) in co-sleeper attached to bed

Because all of them apply to us. Sometimes baby is in the middle between me and DH, and DD (2.5) is in the sidecarred crib. Sometimes baby is on my side of the bed or in the sidecar and DD is in the middle. And half the time my DH is gone for work, and either DD or baby is in the sidecar and the other is on my other side.

All of this is subject to change 3 or more times in one night. Our house is a circus at night!


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## Ks Mama (Aug 22, 2006)

Glad to hear you're giving co-sleeping a try. It really is the BEST for EVERYONE in your family.

We've done a variety of arrangements - really, go with the flow. At this point, with two kids, it usually starts out with DD in her room & bed. I nurse DS down on the crib mattress which is on the floor - we have it at the same level as our bed, which is also on the floor - attached to the side of our bed & pushed against the wall. When he wakes, usually I'm heading up for bed anyway, and will nurse him back down on his mattress. DD usually wakes at some point around 2 or 3 am & comes in, typically between DH & I. Baby typically spends the rest of the night next to me.

But, when it was just me, dh, & dd, she would sometimes be in between the two of us, sometimes on my side.
She never liked the co-sleeper. We figured out the bed on the floor with crib mattress along side early on because she was a very light sleeper & our movements would disturb her - and we never went to bed at the same time as she, so whenever we'd come in, if we wanted some couple time in bed before sleeping, she needed to be on a surface that wouldn't move when we got into bed.

What has been SO helpful to us in co-sleeping, is a hepa air purifier. It takes a bit of getting used to sleeping with white noise, but overall, it covers so many baby noises, nighttime changing noises, nursing noises, toddler in & out of bed noises, squeaking floor noises, etc. etc., so EVERYONE gets more sleep.


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

We're all over. We start out with DS in the sidecarred twin bed, with me next to him and DH at the other side. Halfway through the night I switch sides with DS, and I sleep in the sidecar and he sleeps between me and DH, because i need to empty both boobs during the night. A few hours before we get up, DH brings DD2 in, and she sleeps on the far side of me in the sidecar, so it's baby, me, baby, DH, from left to right.

DD1 doesn't cosleep.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

Technically, with four, there are two in the middle, including me.

Sophia often sleeps on my right, on the edge of the bed where the crib is butted up against it. She gets hot and doesn't like the blankets over her head. She also doesn't like being snuggled in her sleep, but needs to know I'm right there when she needs me.

Abigail sleeps on my left, usually. Sometimes she'll try to switch with Sophia or wants to snuggle with Sophia. Abigail prefers the middle and prefers her head covered with the blankets.

My spouse sleeps all the way on the left, the only truly comfortable location, the side that you can actually get out of easily.


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## JTA Mom (Feb 25, 2007)

Dh & I sleep on the full matress, baby sleeps on the sidecarred crib. I sleep between dh & the baby during the night, then in the morning roll baby over so he's between us so that my right boob can get some relief! lol

Ami


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## InochiZo (Aug 17, 2004)

We have a king size that usually goes from left to right DS (4 yrs), DH (when he comes to bed at 12-1a), DD and Me or Me and then DD. Then when I get up between 4:30-4:45 am DH has a kid on either side.


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## SeaDoula (Jan 13, 2006)

DH is on the outside left, and dd and I alternate being in the middle depending on which breast she has eaten on. She is only 2mo old, so in the future she will probably be in the middle more...because I worry about rolling.


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## sarah04 (Dec 31, 2006)

left to right:

DH, 7-mo-old, me (mommy), 2-yr-old.

Our 2-yr-old usually starts in his own bed, and comes in sometime between 2 and 7 am.


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## ryleigh'smama (Aug 10, 2005)

We have ds, then me, dd, dh. Sometimes it is briefly me, ds, dd, dh....but that doesn't last long. Both dd and ds have to touch me, so I have to be in the middle always.


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## dflanag2 (Oct 4, 2005)

When we go to bed:

Mommy (DS in his bed, DD in her crib b/c Mommy needs a little alone time)

Later:

Mommy-Daddy

A little later:

Mommy-DD-Daddy (nightweaning, no nursies until sunrise, but she usually joins us between 1 and 4 AM)

Sometime after that:

Mommy-DD-Daddy with DS on top

Eventually:

DD-Mommy-DS-Daddy

Sunrise:

Mommy-DD (switched to finish sunrise nursies)-Daddy with DS back on top

Alarm clock:

DD-Mommy-DS (Daddy gets up, Mommy separates toddlers so they won't wake one another with kicking and other sibling tricks)

Daddy comes out of bathroom:

DD-Mommy (DS goes to have his one-on-one Daddy time)

But I voted Mommy-Baby-Daddy because that's generally what we did when they were infants. They are 3.5 and 18 months now, not so much concern about them overlaying one another anymore.

-dflanag2


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## Vancouver Mommy (Aug 15, 2007)

From left to right: Me, baby, dp, dd


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## LionessMom (Mar 12, 2008)

ok.. my 11 mo dd falls asleep at 10pm and sleeps in her crib until 12 or 2 depending. i have her crib turned so that it is lengthwise against our bed. the side rail is down. Like a co sleeper. i have it firmly against the bed.. no gaps etc. attached like a colseeper. when she wakes up she cries until i pick her up and nurse her. dh is on the outside while im in the middle and dd is between me and the crib. sometimes we switch if she has been nursing a lot. and there she stays till the sun comes up. if she didnt sleep in her own bed sometimes dh and i would have no "alone" time.:> she doesnt sleep very long and it is worrying me. she is almost a year. of all 4 kids she is the only one who wasnt sleeping thought the night in her own bed by now. dont mind being so close to her at night but would like to sleep longer.


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## larkish (Oct 5, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *tbone_kneegrabber* 
Every couple of hours we switch depending on which side ds is nursing on.


Yea that. Usually there is a pillow between DH and us. Great to have a King.


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## momoftworedheads (Mar 6, 2003)

It really depends on the day here but these are the most common:

Dad, child, mama (most nights) or Dad, ds#3, mama, ds#2. Or ds#1, ds#2, ds#3, mama and Dad goes to another bed! We have a queen and need to add a sidecar twin or bump up to a king. We have co-slept for almost 8 years. If our older 2 do not come in, they co-sleep in their bed in another room.

You have to do what is best for you, your family and how everyone sleeps. We are going away for a few days and will be co-sleeping at my sister's. I am sure her DH will have comments!

Take care all!
Jen


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## ashleyhaugh (Jun 23, 2005)

usually baby in the middle and sometimes the dogs (2 german shepherds) sneak in too


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## Bailey422 (Jan 23, 2008)

I don't trust DH not to roll over on the baby, so I'm in the middle. We have a co-sleeper on the side where the baby sleeps, but we only use it for storage. We also have a 60 pound dog and a 12 pound dog in the bed.







I try to encourage the big dog to sleep on DH's side.


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## Miss 1928 (Nov 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HollyBearsMom* 
We have a dog in the equation too! Husband takes up more than 1/2 the bed. Our son takes up more spave then I do so I usually end up w/ a small sliver right at the edge. The dogs roams up and down most of the night.









: (Except we have a cat instead of a dog.)

My DH takes up more than half the bed too!







:

So, usually our sleeping situation is:








Me (on the very edge), DD (perpendicular, of course!), DH (elbows akimbo)
Then there's DC (Dear Cat) at my feet, when she feels like joining us.

_But_, when DD was wee I moved her from side to side each time she wanted to nurse. Now she usually wakes only once and so stays in the middle where it's safer for her. I nurse her on the right right before sleep and when she wakes, but the left side gets all the attention during the night, just like in my siggy.









DD has slept next to me every single night of her life.


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## SeekingSerenity (Aug 6, 2006)

DS has his own bed, right next to mine but not connected. DD sleeps next to me, or on top of me, or upside down with her feet on my head, however she wants. DH is on the couch.

When the new LO comes along, I don't know how it will work. DD is very clingy and possessive and crowds me to the edge almost every night. I would like to set the crib back up (I leave one side of it off and push it up against the bed) but there's no room for that in our current apartment.

It should be interesting.

For the record, DH hates the couch. But if he even gets close to the bed now, DD screeches, "NO DADDY! It's my bed! Get off my bed!!" She kicks and screams until he leaves.

You can tell who rules the roost around there, eh?


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## racheloperasinger (Jun 21, 2007)

Sometimes, mommy in the middle. Most of the time, baby in the middle.


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## momasana (Aug 24, 2007)

DS and I switch back and forth during the night depending on which side he nurses on. DH is on one side and one of our pups is at the foot of the bed. It's mighty cozy.


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## zensven42 (Oct 26, 2006)

the room from left to right facing the foot of the beds:

bunk bed with twin size mattresses
queen mattress with box spring on floor
toddler bed

the lower bunk and the other 2 beds are about the same height from the floor and kinda make one big bed.

My 8yo DS usually sleeps in the top bunk
My 3yo DD usually sleeps in the toddler bed
My DH, 1yo DS, and I kinda switch around in the lower bunk and queen size. We usually end up all in the queen by morning,

The kids sometimes move into other beds or sleep on the floor, couch, my DS recliner, in a tent, in a blanket fort....whatever they end up doing

Kristin Skrydlak-Simlai


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## puddle (Aug 30, 2007)

I selected 3 responses because it depends.

Mommy in middle sometimes, baby in middle sometimes depending on which side we nurse on.

I also picked other because sometimes I take the baby and sleep on the floor in the nursery with her and leave Daddy in bed if she's having a really loud night. I can't relax and get to sleep if I'm worried about her waking him up all night. We move back into the bed when he gets up for work--I have an only baby so I can make up for rough nights by sleeping late with her in the morning, and DH doesn't have that option.


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## Underwhelmed (Jun 19, 2007)

Quote:

DS and I switch back and forth during the night depending on which side he nurses on.








: I never mastered nursing from the top breast while side-lying, so I switch DS instead







.


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## KellMcK (Jun 29, 2007)

We're like a capital "H" in the bed - with baby horizontal between us. She likes to put her head on my shoulder, and her feet on her daddy's shoulder. Then she kicks him. All. Night. Long. When I try to re-position her, he tells me not to bother because he doesn't mind it.

When he's working out of town, she's still horizontal, but with her feet on MY shoulders. Guess she just wants me to fill in for her daddy.


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

Me and ds (3.5 mo) in queen bed. DH and dd (29 months) in twin bed. Different rooms.

NAK


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## Bailey (Sep 23, 2005)

We do switch it around sometimes but mostly me in the middle. DD is up against a wall and DH is on the outside as he gets up early for work!


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

While I was nursing baby usually started off in the middle and I would move him on either side of me during the night to nurse. Now that DS SAH DS2 is use to him more so now DH sleeps in the middle.


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## stacey0402 (Aug 16, 2003)

I voted "Baby(ies) in the middle, mommy and spouse on either side" because that's usually how we start out, but baby sometimes finds his way to the outside of the bed (me in the middle) since our bed is up against a wall.

The only time dh doesn't sleep with us is when the babies are super tiny (like their first week home) and I'm all paranoid about smothering the baby. It would make me sad if that was the normal arrangement.


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## Mommy2anangel (Dec 17, 2007)

I voted the first, mommy in the middle, DH and DS on either side, because DH likes to cuddle with me.


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## durafemina (Feb 11, 2004)

we fall asleep: wall - DP - dd - me. I've never been worried about DP rolling on her - he's very aware and loves being near dd.
when DP gets up early to go to work I switch places with him to feed on the other side (I find feeding with the top breast too uncomfy)
If DP and I want to snuggle we put dd on the outside of us but she's beginning to rooll now so I think we will shortly side car the crib (so far unused) or something to make it safer.


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## MommyHammy (Apr 22, 2007)

My LO starts out the night in his crib after I nurse him to sleep (he doesn't sleep much during the day so the evening is the only time I have to get anything done). He usually stays there until sometime between 1-4am and then he comes into our bed. Depending on which breast he is/was nursing on he will either between Hubby and I or on my other side. He is starting to get more wiggly so soon he I will have to move him back to the middle after nursing so he can't 'escape'.


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## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

Dp - Baby - Me - Toddler


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)

DS sleeps between DH and I.


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## Jannah6 (Aug 29, 2007)

I voted baby in the middle, although DH would prefer to sleep next to me


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