# Three year old daughter always likes to pretend to be boy characters....



## festivefeet (Jul 27, 2008)

Hi there.

This really probably isn't a big issue, however, I just thought I would check and get some opinions.

I have a 3-1/2 year old little girl. She is very sweet and imaginative. We read a lot and watch occasional movies. She loves to pretend and make believe. BUT, I would say MOST of the time she pretends to be boy characters from the books we have read or the movies we have watched. This week she is a rooster named rocky. We have 7 chickens and she pretends that she is the Daddy rooster to them. She is also pretending to be a boy ant this week as well. Ya never know what she will be one moment from the next, but I can count on 95% of the time, her pretending to be a boy character.

Is this normal?

J.


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## SimonMom (May 19, 2004)

Well, my three year old boy often pretends to be a girl character. Like Fiona from Shrek. "I'm princess Fiona" is a common phrase.
I think it's normal.


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Gender is one of those things we as adults put on kids. For kids under 6... trying on the opposite gender is just like trying on cool stripe-y socks.


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## rabbitmum (Jan 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Gender is one of those things we as adults put on kids. For kids under 6... trying on the opposite gender is just like trying on cool stripe-y socks.









:


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## zipworth (Jun 26, 2002)

I remember doing this at 3! It always seemed to me that boy characters were stronger, more versatile, and interesting. I thought girl characters always seemed weak, bossy, or dressed in frilly clothes that I didn't identify with. Now, being a woman seems so much more interesting to me, men seem more resticted in many ways.

My daughter is 3 1/2, and has no interest in Disney Princesses, barbie, the color pink...she loves the boy characters! We just watched 101 Dalmations and she has been pretending to be 'Pongo' ever since







.


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

3 yo are only just beginning to get a handle on the whole gender thing, it's perfectly normal. When my 3 yo DS say "that girl/boy over there has a XYZ," he's only correct about which gender the other child is 60% or 70% of the time. I would avoid making a big deal out of it on way or the other.

The one and only thing I would do is make sure that in books, stories, videos, etc that she hears/see there are interesting and complex female charaters as well as male ones.


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## cedoreilly (May 21, 2005)

My two year old was running around with my DD's princess dress on convinced he was a princess (Actually my DD has convinced him that he is a girl. It is quite funny.) I just let it go. He is happy which is all that matters to me. Before long peer pressure will change everything. (I'll take a boy playing princess over Star Wars anyday!)


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## dziwozony (Aug 27, 2006)

please, please, please allow your daughter to be who she is & explore whatever role she wants to explore. it makes me so sad when parents push extreamly limiting pre-assigned gender roles onto their children.

definitely make sure she gets to see positive & empowering female characters because part of the issue could be weak writing for girls in books/film.

but having said that, wanting to pretend at bo roles is not a problem! let her be who she is.


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## LynnS6 (Mar 30, 2005)

In my imaginary play as a child, I pretended to be a boy. The stories I made up always had boy characters as protagonists. I have no idea why. It has nothing to do with my gender identity or sexual orientation.

Imaginative play is where we get to try on different roles and see what it's like to be different. I wouldn't worry.


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## Mama Mko (Jul 26, 2007)

My son is often Dora while I am Diego. I'm not worried.


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## ziggy (Feb 8, 2007)

And, hey, even if there was something going on with gender stuff... I still wouldn't worry. I always played the boy characters, pretend to be a boy, etc. And now I do identify as one. But I wouldn't be worried either way.


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## waiflywaif (Oct 17, 2005)

I wouldn't care. I mean, really? She can pretend to be a boy, a unicorn, or a large rock. It's *pretending.*


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## KissyStarfish (Jun 2, 2009)

My 3 year old son prefers to play the pretty princess or the mommy most of the time, and also enjoys wearing make-up. When I was young I pretended both genders I think it is just a healthy exploration of possible roles.


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## Mrs.Burke (May 14, 2009)

My friends sons asked their mommies why my daughter likes to play boy stuff when she is a girl. I asked my daughter and she said that boys have cooler games. She hates barbie dolls too. I used to play a soldier when i was younger so she got it from me. LOL


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## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

It's pretty normal...

Understand that in media directed to young children there are a lot of gender stereotypes. I don't find it the least bit odd that some girls just do _not_ want to be a female character be they are always the one that needs rescuing and never does the cool stuff. At the same time, there are boys who want to be the girl characters because the male characters never do any stereotypical "girl" stuff that said boy may enjoy.

I know at least one woman, fully confident in her feminity, who used to pretend to be superman. Superwoman was simply not good enough, she was just a cheap knock off to appease the "girls need a hero too" people. She also prefered He-Man, and Batman to their female counter parts.


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## andisunshine (May 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *festivefeet* 
Hi there.

This really probably isn't a big issue, however, I just thought I would check and get some opinions.

I have a 3-1/2 year old little girl. She is very sweet and imaginative. We read a lot and watch occasional movies. She loves to pretend and make believe. BUT, I would say MOST of the time she pretends to be boy characters from the books we have read or the movies we have watched. This week she is a rooster named rocky. We have 7 chickens and she pretends that she is the Daddy rooster to them. She is also pretending to be a boy ant this week as well. Ya never know what she will be one moment from the next, but I can count on 95% of the time, her pretending to be a boy character.

Is this normal?

J.


I spent a lot of my childhood as a tomboy. I actually enjoyed doing the things that all the boys I knew liked doing like fishing, riding my bike, playing bows and arrows, exploring, wrestling, scrimmaging soccer. So did my sister but not so much other girls we knew. I didn't care much for dolls except for a certain special one (never had any Barbies) but I did like to wear pretty dresses when the occasion called for it. It was a great childhood. The only thing I realize now as an adult is that my father wanted a son, an heir. He didn't get one 'til the third try, six years after me, so until then I was the pseudo-son. He projected a lot onto me. Does your daughter get this from anyone? Sure, I have issues from my father (he's a piece of work) but I still have a husband, two kids and no problems with my own femininity. If she isn't geting the message from someone that they prefer she were a boy then I wouldn't worry.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

not only my dd acted as a boy she even wore boys underwear for the characters. she was a big spiderman fan without seeing anything except spiderman on towels at target.

her favourite role models were men too - esp. one of my friends who had tattooes from head to toe. anytime she got a pen she did tattoes on her arms (she esp. liked what he had on his arms) just like him.


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## MsBirdie (Apr 29, 2007)

MY daugter went thru this until maybe 6 month ago. She just turned 7. ut for about a year she was a boy named "Ben." She even signed her papers that way. Thank goodness there was no other Ben in the class. She was spiderman 2 years in a row. Now she will only wears dresses and says she is going to marry the 4 year old neighbor boy. I am wishing for "Ben" again.







Everything at this age is a stage, pretending, testing their imagination. I would not worry.


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## nextcommercial (Nov 8, 2005)

I always wanted to be the boy too. All my stuffed animals were boys, most of my dolls were boys.

As a kid, the best characters were boy characters.. the girl characters were so dull and average.

I also liked/wanted boy's clothes. I couldn't have them very often, but I liked them better.

To this day, I would like to thank Kristi Mcnichols (family) and Jodi Foster, for making girls look cute in boy's clothes. Cuz, otherwise, I'd have grown up in Polyester.

Eventually, I grew to love my feminine half as much as my tomboy half. I love a pedicure, a spray on tan, makeup, the whole bit. But, I still do think boys sometimes get the best characters. Of course, now I have a different appreciation for them.


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## fuzzypeach (Oct 28, 2004)

My 4 yo dd is the same way and has been for.. well, probably about as long as she has been pretending! I don't worry about it, but I've noticed it, too...


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## Romi (Aug 29, 2013)

OMG! I had to reply to this because my 4-year-old daughter loves being Pongo as well. And yes, more often than not, she pretends to be a male character. One day, just to test her, I said: "You can't be a prince. Boys are princes and girls are princesses. You are a girl" and she responded "I know, Mom, but I'm just pretending to be a boy who pretends to be a prince" It cracked me up


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