# TLC Baby Story...Gag!



## starhalo (Jan 31, 2006)

I happened to catch this morning's Baby Story and was so disappointed in the episode. I understand that pregnancy and labor is something that is different for every woman and no one can really make decisions for the mother except for her. But this morning's show was so upsetting...I had to see what you all thought.

This woman goes to the hospital at about 3cm and decides to wait it out naturally and see what happens. Well, shortly after the doctor walks in, a woman, and starts telling her..."you know, you have the choice to take the Pitocin and that'll make things goes faster." Mom decides to wait because she is totally against the Pitocin. At 5 cm, the doctor breaks her water and so mom is really feeling the contractions (she was doing just fine up until then). The doctor seems to get inpatient at around 9 cm and tells the dad and mom that she needs an epidural because she won't be able too push. Mom, who is tired at this point but still doing okay decides to get the epidural.

I don't understand why the doctor had to push all these drugs on the mom when she was doing just fine on her own. I mean, every time the doctor appeared on screen she was making suggestions about Pitocin, breaking her water, epidural, she's not going to push well enough, blah blah blah. It's pretty disappointing.


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

That show drives me batty but I can't stop watching it. It's like watching a train wreck or something. I bet the vast majority of the shows feature either a c/s or induction. I had it on yesterday and bf was watching a woman push, on her back, of course. He made a remark that it must be really hard to push a baby out in that position - kind of like pooping on your back. I told him that yeah, that's what I've heard and I sure hope they don't try to make me do that. I was amazed that he made that connection... maybe he has been listening to all of my ranting about how hospitals treat pg women.









About an hour later we were at the midwife's office, so I asked about it. She said that she actually discourages women from being in bed during labor/delivery, even though the nurses think she's crazy. She said that in her experience, being in bed makes it hurt more. Man, I love this woman!


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

Dh knows whenever I'm watching those shows because I'm screaming at the TV. Even he gets irked. He's yelled "Well if you'd get her off her BACK maybe she could push her kid out!"

Too bad for that mama, sounds like she could've easily had a vaginal birth. It seems pretty irresponsible of the doctor to force an epidural at 9cm, don't most usually turn them off so mom can (hopefully) feel enough to push?!


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## starhalo (Jan 31, 2006)

Yeah! While pregnant, my midwife told me that she rarely delivers babies with women on their back because it's not very effective. But it's usually up to the woman to decided in which position she wants to deliver. This woman really had no choice because the doctor was feeding her all these illusions of fear and not being a being to push the baby out.


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## BrownEyed (Jan 14, 2007)

I used to watch that show all the time when I was younger and thought that was the way it should be, boy was I wrong. I can't watch that show anymore without getting mad. The only time I'll watch it is if it's a homebirth or birth center or else I end up throwing things. Now I just watch Bringing Home Baby.


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## NamastePlatypus (Jan 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BrownEyed* 
I used to watch that show all the time when I was younger and thought that was the way it should be, boy was I wrong. I can't watch that show anymore without getting mad. The only time I'll watch it is if it's a homebirth or birth center or else I end up throwing things. Now I just watch Bringing Home Baby.

Me too but even BHB irrates me, how they feel they HAVE to supplement with formula, blah blah blah. I can only watch runway moms, pretty crunch, and House of babies.


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Second time I saw that episode now.

This is exactly the kind of "Doctor" you don't want. Don't know if the woman had some issues with glaring light and light sensitivity, that happens- but wtf, If I were the laboring woman I would start out by being slightly pissed that she could not even take her friggin" sunglasses off when talking to me. The entire time the OB seemed to be sorry to have been called away from a Barbecue or something, as if she did not want to be there. Hey, if the OB has eye issus- then I am sorry, If not, I would feel more than insulted as a patient.

I wonder if the OB wanted to start Pitocin right away- because the woman kept saying she does not want it- so I wonder what has been cut out of the episode.

And- am I being naive here, but why on earth do they suggest Pitocin when she is already at 9 centimeters all by herself- they can wait that little bit??

I felt so bad for the couple, since they really tried but were constantly ridiculed and looked down at- not just by their OB but also by the snickering staff, grinning nurses and so on.
I really reached the boiling point when I heard the OB complain "if that's how she's going to push..."

Did anybody notice the expression on the Doula's face sitting on the chair when the woman was talked into the epidural at 9 centimeters? As if the Doula gave up too.

At least the couple fought a bit to at least hold their daughter when she was born- but hey, that nurse tried hard to keep wiping and grabbing that baby from them.

Is it just me- or would anyone else feel like pushing someone's hand away if all you want to do is cuddle and hold your baby?? What the rationell behind that constant rubbing and whiping?? "Adjustment" to the outside world??


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## starhalo (Jan 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Second time I saw that episode now.

This is exactly the kind of "Doctor" you don't want. Don't know if the woman had some issues with glaring light and light sensitivity, that happens- but wtf, If I were the laboring woman I would start out by being slightly pissed that she could not even take her friggin" sunglasses off when talking to me. The entire time the OB seemed to be sorry to have been called away from a Barbecue or something, as if she did not want to be there. Hey, if the OB has eye issus- then I am sorry, If not, I would feel more than insulted as a patient.

I wonder if the OB wanted to start Pitocin right away- because the woman kept saying she does not want it- so I wonder what has been cut out of the episode.

And- am I being naive here, but why on earth do they suggest Pitocin when she is already at 9 centimeters all by herself- they can wait that little bit??

I felt so bad for the couple, since they really tried but were constantly ridiculed and looked down at- not just by their OB but also by the snickering staff, grinning nurses and so on.
I really reached the boiling point when I heard the OB complain "if that's how she's going to push..."

Did anybody notice the expression on the Doula's face sitting on the chair when the woman was talked into the epidural at 9 centimeters? As if the Doula gave up too.

At least the couple fought a bit to at least hold their daughter when she was born- but hey, that nurse tried hard to keep wiping and grabbing that baby from them.

Is it just me- or would anyone else feel like pushing someone's hand away if all you want to do is cuddle and hold your baby?? What the rationell behind that constant rubbing and whiping?? "Adjustment" to the outside world??

Yes!!! I was hoping someone had seen it so that my explanation of the show would make sense. I would be confused too about the doctor. She's wearing the sunglasses and sweats. Not even dressed in hospital gear. She had zero confidence in the woman to push and follow her intuition. I saw that same doctor on another episode and she was awful with the other mom too. She gave the mom two doses of an epidural because she felt that he needed her rest to push later on. The women ended up pushing for like 2 hours until she turned purple in the face.


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## Sileree (Aug 15, 2006)

I can't watch that show. I just get so pissed and it ruins my mood for an hour at least.









Don't tell anyone, but I am the kind of doula who encourages clients to break the rules. They tell her nothing but clear liquids, hehe, and I bring her food from the nourishment room. Yummy turkey sandwhiches and mashed potatoes and ice cream. If a nurse comes in she hands it to me and we just act like it was mine. :nana:


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

What was the OBs name? Constance something? How condescending was that. I love how everyone is masked until nobody can recognize them, but she is sticking her hands in there with barely a short glove, while the Hubby is made looking as if he is going to perform open heart surgery. Loved the line: "Oh, you know (condescending eye rolling here), I will DELIVER the head and will LET HIM deliver the rest"... yeah, right... you go and DELIVER that woman... I am still loaded after watching that.

How on earth did the couple get through an entire pregnancy with that Dragon??? You think they would have clashed way before. I would love to see the rest of the material- just to see the interaction between OB and Doula, since you literally did not hear or see ANYTHING from the Doula, as if she was not even there.


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sileree* 
I can't watch that show. I just get so pissed and it ruins my mood for an hour at least.









Don't tell anyone, but I am the kind of doula who encourages clients to break the rules. They tell her nothing but clear liquids, hehe, and I bring her food from the nourishment room. Yummy turkey *sandwhiches and mashed potatoes* and ice cream. If a nurse comes in she hands it to me and we just act like it was mine. :nana:


That's great... I will try going that route with hubby. He'll heat some mashed potatoes for me (only thing that works with me when I am slightly out of it and have a funky stomache)- if I throw up (which I am afraid will happen, my stomache get's in reverse gear easily) than I'll rather throw up soft food instead of burning acid.


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## stacey2061 (Feb 1, 2006)

mmm...you guys, my next baby is due right around thanksgiving (here in Canada) and leftover turkey dinner would help me through labour nicely...lol

i just have to add for the sake of argument that with DS the nurses kept getting me to try other positions, but anything other than flat on my back caused excruciating pain (it was a horrible induction, but still) lol...


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *starhalo* 
I happened to catch this morning's Baby Story and was so disappointed in the episode. I understand that pregnancy and labor is something that is different for every woman and no one can really make decisions for the mother except for her.

I fail to see what part of the decision to have the epidural was the mother's. Seems to me that the *doctor* did all the deciding for that one.


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## Sileree (Aug 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
That's great... I will try going that route with hubby. He'll heat some mashed potatoes for me (only thing that works with me when I am slightly out of it and have a funky stomache) - if I throw up (which I am afraid will happen, my stomache get's in reverse gear easily) than I'll rather throw up soft food instead of burning acid.

Great! You're less likely to throw up if you eat too.









I reminded my client she is the boss, she hired those nurses. And she can ignore their suggestions.

When you are in labor, you need nourishment! If my client is hungry, I'm gonna get them food. The hospital can go f*** themselves.


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## Samjm (Mar 12, 2005)

I don't have the choice of NOT using an OB (pre-existing conditions, high risk pregnancy etc), but when I see shows like this one I am forever grateful that I live in a pretty crunchy city and I really like and trust my OB.


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Samjm* 
I don't have the choice of NOT using an OB (pre-existing conditions, high risk pregnancy etc), but when I see shows like this one I am forever grateful that I live in a pretty crunchy city and *I really like and trust my OB*.


Man, I wished this was true for more women. That woman just reaaally made me mad today.


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## texaspeach (Jun 19, 2005)

I don't watch those shows anymore, I just end up yelling at the tv and disgusted. DP doesn'tlikehearig me get mad at the tv! I read birth stories on MDC instead









(CaK that'scatat keyboard, instead of nak lol. the darned cat keeps helping me type!)


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## minimurph (Jan 3, 2007)

I watched "Bringing Home Baby" today and only caught the last 5 minutes...but they had their one week old in a stroller (facing out) with NO kind of strap or anything holding her in! What?? All I could think of was them hitting a bump on the pavement and that sweet little girl flying out.


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## Redifer (Nov 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sileree* 
Great! You're less likely to throw up if you eat too.









I reminded my client she is the boss, she hired those nurses. And she can ignore their suggestions.

When you are in labor, you need nourishment! If my client is hungry, I'm gonna get them food. The hospital can go f*** themselves.

That's what I thought, too. I remember my mom flipping the nurses out when I was in labor because all I wanted was a snickers bar, a really hard pear, and a big bowl of green beans. The nurses were fighting her tooth and nail about it, and she just told them if they didn't like it, go attend to someone else in labor.

God, I dread thinking about what would have happened throughout the entirety of my labor (one big mess) if she hadn't been there!


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## bhawkins (Jun 5, 2005)

Most all of TLC's Baby Stories make me gag! I can hardly stand to watch it anymore for the very reasons you mentioned.


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## JanB (Mar 4, 2004)

They should just call that show "An Epidural Story". I don't even watch it anymore because it's too depressing. (Ironically, I loved watching it when I was pregnant with my first baby.)


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## sparklett (Nov 25, 2006)

Does anyone watch that birth center/midwife show on Discovery Health? Once I started watching that, I totally ditched A Baby Story.


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## Brisen (Apr 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Sileree* 
They tell her nothing but clear liquids, hehe, and I bring her food from the nourishment room. Yummy turkey sandwhiches and mashed potatoes and ice cream. If a nurse comes in she hands it to me and we just act like it was mine. :nana:











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Redifer* 
That's what I thought, too. I remember my mom flipping the nurses out when I was in labor because all I wanted was a snickers bar, a really hard pear, and a big bowl of green beans. The nurses were fighting her tooth and nail about it, and she just told them if they didn't like it, go attend to someone else in labor.

God, I dread thinking about what would have happened throughout the entirety of my labor (one big mess) if she hadn't been there!

Wow, very specific cravings! It's so sweet to read about your mom taking care of you like that.


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## Belle (Feb 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparklett* 
Does anyone watch that birth center/midwife show on Discovery Health? Once I started watching that, I totally ditched A Baby Story.

They canceled "House of Babies" They're all reruns now. I made a tape of all the episodes before we cut our cable. So I at least have them.


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *JanB* 
They should just call that show "An Epidural Story". I don't even watch it anymore because it's too depressing. (Ironically, I loved watching it when I was pregnant with my first baby.)

Sadly, I did too...

I can't watch it anymore either. Runway Moms and House of Babies are definitely more tolerable...


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## Redifer (Nov 25, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belle* 
They canceled "House of Babies" They're all reruns now. I made a tape of all the episodes before we cut our cable. So I at least have them.

Why did they cancel it?!


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## pinksprklybarefoot (Jan 18, 2007)

I watched yesterday, and they had an episode involving water birth, (no epidural!), baby given directly to mom, baby nursing with mom still in the tub, and (gasp!) baby later on wearing cloth diapers. Can they show such crunchiness on cable tv?


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## pjabslenz (Mar 25, 2004)

I don't watch TLC's a baby story much these days but the show used to drive me batty as well. If I do catch an episode, I use it as my own personal teaching tool. After attending the ALACE birth assistant training, I started looking at that show in a new way. My ideal birth situations would be home or birth center births, but in reality, I realize it's the women who are birthing in the hospitals that NEED the doula support. Instead of getting mad when I watch, I ask myself, If that woman were my client, what would I recommend or suggest to her at this point...however, I like to think that my clients would feel confident enough to labor at home as long as possible and avoid any or all interventions upon arrival...but like I said, that's the ideal birth situation and not always the case.

It is extremely frustrating to see the endless epidurals, c-sections & women doubting their abilities to birth babies because the doctors are the "professionals".


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## starhalo (Jan 31, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparklett* 
Does anyone watch that birth center/midwife show on Discovery Health? Once I started watching that, I totally ditched A Baby Story.

When do they give that show?

I rarely see natural childbirth's on that show. When I was pregnant, I loved watching it too just because it reminded me of how awesome it will be to have my baby, Now, having done everything natural at a birth center with a midwife and doula...I see how so many women don't realize the different options available to them. That laying in a bed hooked up to monitors is not the only solution to having a baby.


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## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparklett* 
Does anyone watch that birth center/midwife show on Discovery Health? Once I started watching that, I totally ditched A Baby Story.

Is that the Miami birth center with the midwife that's really no nonsense? I've heard thats a popular one around here but I have to say that I got pretty turned off when I saw her lecturing a woman about "gestational diabetes" and basically put her on a diet because she had gained a bit more than she thought was prudent. This was a skinny woman btw, but even if she wasn't, I just don't think it's cool.
I do think that show is better than the other ones mentioned though. They're like all the same story...different women, same sad story.







I get WAY too worked up to watch them lol.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sparklett* 
Does anyone watch that birth center/midwife show on Discovery Health? Once I started watching that, I totally ditched A Baby Story.

no way i HATE that show.

me and dh watched an episode where the mother was shy. she wanted to give birth in the tub but she kept closing her legs a bit (looked like it maybe hurt to keep them open?) shari DRAGGED her out of the tub and then was LAYING on her legs yelling "keep your d**n legs open!"

so no I don't see any difference between that and a baby story. they are all the same.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MotherWren* 
Is that the Miami birth center with the midwife that's really no nonsense? I've heard thats a popular one around here but I have to say that I got pretty turned off when I saw her lecturing a woman about "gestational diabetes" and basically put her on a diet because she had gained a bit more than she thought was prudent. This was a skinny woman btw, but even if she wasn't, I just don't think it's cool.
I do think that show is better than the other ones mentioned though. They're like all the same story...different women, same sad story.







I get WAY too worked up to watch them lol.

I saw that one too and it really turned me off to it. I gained 80lbs with ds1 and 60lbs with ds2


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalebsMama05* 
no way i HATE that show.

me and dh watched an episode where the mother was shy. she wanted to give birth in the tub but she kept closing her legs a bit (looked like it maybe hurt to keep them open?) *shari DRAGGED her out of the tub and then was LAYING on her legs yelling "keep your d**n legs open!"*
so no I don't see any difference between that and a baby story. they are all the same.









sounds rather nice.


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 







sounds rather nice.

I honestly had to turn it off I was almost throwing up so nauseous and dh was yelling at the tv. I was like OMG its just like being raped (I was sexually abused as a kid) I couldn't watch it I was crying and shaking. the poor mother looked so traumatized.


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## BrownEyed (Jan 14, 2007)

ITA, sometimes that woman goes too far. I saw an episode where the baby kept slipping back in and she told the mom that she was going to kill her child. I do like the other MW though, especially her daughter.


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

FWIW, I wish there were more hospitals like ours.

I was high risk for this entire pregnancy, and absolutely despised the OB I was forced to see (the practice I belong to has a funky schedule, and this OB was the only one around when I could have appointments) and couldn't switch to the other practice in town because they weren't comfortable taking my case.

Anyway, I knew all along that I would be having a hospital birth, and was preparing to fight tooth and nail to get the delivery I wanted. Turns out, no fighting was necessary. When I checked in at the admitting desk, I told them I wanted to see the midwife on call, and would not allow the OB in my room.

Midwife came in just as my water broke (I was on the toilet vomiting in to the sink at the time...lovely) and when I came out of the bathroom, she checked me, found out I was 8, and smiled. She put on her gown and gloves, sat on the edge of the bed and said, "let me know when you're ready."







I knelt through a couple pushes, but I got the best leverage half sitting/laying in bed, pulling my begs back while DH and the nurse supported/pushed my feet back for me. 20 minutes of pushing, and DS was born, sunny side up, only an hour after my water broke. Thanks to great massage, I only had one skid mark.









I was never asked if I wanted pain meds.

Sorry, went off on a tangent. Just saying, I wish more hospitals were willing to let women do what they know they can do, KWIM?


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## michellejy (Nov 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalebsMama05* 
no way i HATE that show.

me and dh watched an episode where the mother was shy. she wanted to give birth in the tub but she kept closing her legs a bit (looked like it maybe hurt to keep them open?) shari DRAGGED her out of the tub and then was LAYING on her legs yelling "keep your d**n legs open!"

so no I don't see any difference between that and a baby story. they are all the same.

I'm glad I'm not the only one totally disturbed by that show. In nearly every episode I've seen, she is in the mother's face screaming at her to push and telling her worst case scenarios about what will happen to the baby. Plus she tends to go on about what the mom is doing wrong while she is pushing rather than being supportive. I really could not deal with someone dragging my legs back like that and yelling at me.







:


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## QuietTempest (Aug 5, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalebsMama05* 
no way i HATE that show.

me and dh watched an episode where the mother was shy. she wanted to give birth in the tub but she kept closing her legs a bit (looked like it maybe hurt to keep them open?) shari DRAGGED her out of the tub and then was LAYING on her legs yelling "keep your d**n legs open!"

so no I don't see any difference between that and a baby story. they are all the same.

That's positively awful! What's the show called? I haven't really watched many pregnancy/birth-oriented shows on tv anymore because so many make birth look like some horrific event and I don't like that at all.


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *QuietTempest* 
That's positively awful! What's the show called? I haven't really watched many pregnancy/birth-oriented shows on tv anymore because so many make birth look like some horrific event and I don't like that at all.

House of Babies. About the Miami Midwifery Center


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## MoonWillow (May 24, 2006)

I just remembered another episode of that show where the midwife was yelling at the laboring mother for moaning.
I'm all for a no-nonsense midwife but CMON!
They would'nt have been able to air that episode if it were me she were talking to like that, not w/out some serious editing


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

I know that if anyone was yelling this rediculous constant "push, harder, push" at me- I will yell back telling them to shut the eff up. This yelling at a labouring woman is so weird- for the first time in the life of an adult woman it is suddenly okay to berate her and yell at her?? Seems like giving birth is openingweird gates for some people- all of a sudden anything goes. Or is there any other time were "medical professionals" will feel entitled to loudly yell at a woman??


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## stacyann21 (Oct 21, 2006)

Quote:

I mean, every time the doctor appeared on screen she was making suggestions about Pitocin, breaking her water, epidural, she's not going to push well enough, blah blah blah. It's pretty disappointing.








:

Doctors want quiet patients with fast labors. They also like to feel in control of the process in some way. This extends beyond L&D too. I had a ped write me a prescription to "continue breastfeeding" once


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## Full Heart (Apr 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *michellejy* 
I'm glad I'm not the only one totally disturbed by that show. In nearly every episode I've seen, she is in the mother's face screaming at her to push and telling her worst case scenarios about what will happen to the baby. Plus she tends to go on about what the mom is doing wrong while she is pushing rather than being supportive. I really could not deal with someone dragging my legs back like that and yelling at me.







:

I caught the end of an episode today and they were applying fundal pressure







: . I was shocked! The baby was not stuck, simply coming out op. I cringed cause I can't even imagine someone doing fundal pressure on me like that...and the risks? OMG. And of course she went on about how the mother watched her diet and had a 7 lb baby instead of an 8 lber







: . Whatever.


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## bikruca (Mar 7, 2004)

wow i juswt caught an episode with a planned hb that turned hospital transfer and the midwife was just awful.... poor mama


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bikruca* 
wow i juswt caught an episode with a planned hb that turned hospital transfer and the midwife was just awful.... poor mama

Don't know if they cut out all the interactions midwife-labouring woman, but that was certainly not the most empathic midwife ever. Did she tell the woman about posterior positiniong? I would not have felt very supported by that midwife, but maybe we just did not see that in the show.


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## Bellita (Jan 23, 2007)

*In Exile,*I asked my childbirth educator why they are always yelling at the woman to push and are counting and such,which seems so irritating! She told me it's because these women typically have epidurals, so they can't feel anything. They have to be directed to push because their body isn't telling them to do so. Hence the in-your-face PUSH PUSH PUSH business.


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bellita* 
*In Exile,*I asked my childbirth educator why they are always yelling at the woman to push and are counting and such,which seems so irritating! She told me it's because these women typically have epidurals, so they can't feel anything. They have to be directed to push because their body isn't telling them to do so. Hence the in-your-face PUSH PUSH PUSH business.

The problem is that it is just not true that they can't feel anything. I could feel pretty well with the epidural at full strength, and then they turned it down to half-strength so I could "feel to push"







:, and then I felt EVERYTHING. I was screaming in pain at the top of my lungs and couldn't have stopped pushing if I wanted to, and my doctor was STILL trying to direct my pushing. It was really annoying. I don't know why the doctors don't just give the women some space and see how well they're doing with the pushing, and then only direct pushing if they really can't feel anything (which I don't think is usually the case).


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MotherWren* 
I just remembered another episode of that show where the midwife was yelling at the laboring mother for moaning.
I'm all for a no-nonsense midwife but CMON!
They would'nt have been able to air that episode if it were me she were talking to like that, not w/out some serious editing

















My midwife and nurse actually told me to vocalize while pushing. I was trying to do the hold-your-breath-and-focus-all-your-energy thing, and was making progress, but could have made more while vocalizing. Once I started flapping my lips (think of a horse blowing air through its lips







) my pushes were that much more effective, and little man came out fast.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stacyann21* 







:

Doctors want quiet patients with fast labors. They also like to feel in control of the process in some way. This extends beyond L&D too. I had a ped write me a prescription to "continue breastfeeding" once

















How would one fill that prescription?







:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pookel* 
The problem is that it is just not true that they can't feel anything. I could feel pretty well with the epidural at full strength, and then they turned it down to half-strength so I could "feel to push"







:, and then I felt EVERYTHING. I was screaming in pain at the top of my lungs and couldn't have stopped pushing if I wanted to, and my doctor was STILL trying to direct my pushing. It was really annoying. I don't know why the doctors don't just give the women some space and see how well they're doing with the pushing, and then only direct pushing if they really can't feel anything (which I don't think is usually the case).

I think a lot of the problem is that in our society, women are shown such negative images of pregnancy, labor and delivery as "the norm." Shows like A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby do nothing to negate this idea, nor do they do anything to show women what it _could_ be like. The vast majority of women I've spoken to have no idea the extent to which we (women in general) are capable. I wish more women sought out doulas and midwives to empower them, and that more HCPs were willing to enable women, instead of controlling them and treating pregnancy as an illness.

The mind is an incredibly powerful thing. Imagine how many positive birth stories we'd read if more women were encouraged to discover their inner She-ra!









Sorry, tangent.


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

I could not feel ANYTHING to push. Although, my midwife and the nurse were very gentle in their pushing instructions and reinforced that I was, indeed, doing something, because I couldn't tell at all. At least they were able to encourage me about that, becuase it was very hard to feel at all like I was actually giving birth, since I could not tell or feel anything.

I'm sure that this is not something that all women experience with an epidural... my understanding is that it happens often enough, but many women can feel by the time they need to push.

Jessica


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## pookel (May 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessjgh1* 
I could not feel ANYTHING to push. Although, my midwife and the nurse were very gentle in their pushing instructions and reinforced that I was, indeed, doing something, because I couldn't tell at all. At least they were able to encourage me about that, becuase it was very hard to feel at all like I was actually giving birth, since I could not tell or feel anything.

That's interesting, it must be different for everyone. I don't want to discount anyone else's experience, but what irks me about mine is that I TOLD them I could feel just fine, and they didn't believe me. They said, "can you feel anything at all?" and I said, "I'm doing kegels." I could have walked if they'd let me. The pain was gone, but I had no trouble moving my muscles. But they still turned the epidural down without giving me a chance to push with it on. I don't understand that. What's the harm in trying?

And then when I was screaming with every contraction, they still felt the need to tell me to push. Uh, it was pretty obvious I was feeling things by then. Oh, and btw, I had a c/s for FTP. Big surprise, huh?


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stacyann21* 







:

Doctors want quiet patients with fast labors. They also like to feel in control of the process in some way. This extends beyond L&D too. I had a ped write me a prescription to "continue breastfeeding" once









Actually, that would be okay, it'd give you ammunition if anyone tried to tell you BS like giving pedialyte or something instead. The usual reason for giving someone a prescription for something they'd already be doing is so that the person can say "Doctors orders" to anyone who questions it.


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Bellita* 
*In Exile,*I asked my childbirth educator why they are always yelling at the woman to push and are counting and such,which seems so irritating! She told me it's because these women typically have epidurals, so they can't feel anything. They have to be directed to push because their body isn't telling them to do so. Hence the in-your-face PUSH PUSH PUSH business.


But how does yelling make you feel anything? I understand that with a heavy epidural you might not feel anything, but how does raising your voice change anything?? Does anybody know what I mean??

To me this yelling is very degrading, but I am also not somebody who get's "motivated" by being yelled at and I especially hate when somebody starts raising their voice at me. At told Hubby for example that he is dead meat should he start joining a "pushpushpushharderharderharder" nurse. I cringe even hearing that.

And how exactly is counting until ten helping your little one inside to get oxygen? To me it does sound a bit impossible- you constantly hear, oh, the heart rate went down- but not breathing for 10 seconds over sometimes hours is helping that??


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## jessjgh1 (Nov 4, 2004)

The Dr. Sears Birth book has nice information on pushing. It would discourage the demanding, coaching, loud style. It also does have information on directed pushing, when the mother needs help (either doesn't have the urge, or has epidural with no feeling).

Basically, let the mother push when she has the urge to push and usually this would be shorter pushes (3-4 seconds) with more frequency, to allow the baby (yes, get a breathing break) and mom a break, lesson the likelyhoood of tearing, and make it easier overall on everyone. It seems this is what most mothers do when they are left alone to labour and midwives and doulas seem to style and suggestions after this.

It has echoed the other books I'm reading/skimming too (Ina May, Birthing from Within, etc.).

I agree that not many women are motivated positively by "push push" scenarios... the motivation is possibly a sense of urgency and feeling rushed turns things more fearful.

I mentioned the way the midwives and nurses helped me by directing and encouraging and this helped me NOT feel fearful because since I had no feeling at all I _was_ getting scared that I was not even doing anything, but there reassurance made me feel okay.

Still, I really felt like I had missed out on 'birth' since I wasn't even able to tell when to push, or if I was, but that was my reaction to my experience.

Jessica


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessjgh1* 
Basically, let the mother push when she has the urge to push and usually this would be shorter pushes (3-4 seconds) with more frequency, to allow the baby (yes, get a breathing break) and mom a break, lesson the likelyhoood of tearing, and make it easier overall on everyone. It seems this is what most mothers do when they are left alone to labour and midwives and doulas seem to style and suggestions after this.

That's what my midwife did last week, and it was amazing. She encouraged me to push just a little longer if we were making a lot of progress, but that only happened twice. Every other time, it was all me, and I'm so grateful for that. And she started massaging before I started pushing, which I think helped a lot in keeping me from having any tears, even though I pushed out an 8lber in 20 minutes.







And the fact that she trusted me enough to listen when I said, "I'm just going to rest through this contraction." was a big deal. Because, I know that if I had ended up with my UA Violation OB in delivery, there would have been a much different outcome.

Sorry, I'm still high from my awesome birth.


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sehbub* 
That's what my midwife did last week, and it was amazing. She encouraged me to push just a little longer if we were making a lot of progress, but that only happened twice. Every other time, it was all me, and I'm so grateful for that. And she started massaging before I started pushing, which I think helped a lot in keeping me from having any tears, even though I pushed out an 8lber in 20 minutes.







And the fact that she trusted me enough to listen when I said, "I'm just going to rest through this contraction." was a big deal. Because, I know that if I had ended up with my UA Violation OB in delivery, there would have been a much different outcome.

*Sorry, I'm still high from my awesome birth*.









Congrats, that wonderful- I hope that I can come back soon and say something like that as well!


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Congrats, that wonderful- I hope that I can come back soon and say something like that as well!

I hope so too!!

The last one was just terrible, and I needed some major healing to help me get over my PTSD from the last delivery.

Thankfully, that's what I got.


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## In Exile (Jan 12, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sehbub* 
I hope so too!!

The last one was just terrible, and I needed some major healing to help me get over my PTSD from the last delivery.

Thankfully, that's what I got.









Sounds like the last birth was pretty horrfici then? Did you post that one somewhere?


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *In Exile* 
Sounds like the last birth was pretty horrfici then? Did you post that one somewhere?

I never typed up a birth story from the last one, I don't think. I just couldn't, and really still can't.

A month of bedrest for PTL, labor started and stopped (medically) from 27wk6d to 30wks. Went in to labor for the last time at 5pm on the 30wk mark, and gave birth 33 hours labor after the meds failed to stop my labor.

3lb5oz baby spent a month in the NICU. It was about 8 hours before I got to the NICU to see her, and I didn't recognize my own child.

So yeah, needed some healing. And a 3 1/2 hour labor with 20 minutes of pushing that resulted in an 8lb baby who never left my side? Yeah, that helped.


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## ericswifey27 (Feb 12, 2005)

Congrats to you Sehbub!

My turn next...







:


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## CalebsMama05 (Nov 26, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jessjgh1* 
Basically, let the mother push when she has the urge to push and usually this would be shorter pushes (3-4 seconds) with more frequency, to allow the baby (yes, get a breathing break) and mom a break, lesson the likelyhoood of tearing, and make it easier overall on everyone. It seems this is what most mothers do when they are left alone to labour and midwives and doulas seem to style and suggestions after this

here's what happened...they said "push longer" and I said "do it your damn self"

and they said "push when you feel like it for as long as you feel like it"

I was just a wee bit crabby at that point.


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## sehbub (Mar 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ericswifey27* 
Congrats to you Sehbub!

My turn next...







:









:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *CalebsMama05* 
here's what happened...they said "push longer" and I said "do it your damn self"

and they said "push when you feel like it for as long as you feel like it"

I was just a wee bit crabby at that point.









:


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