# Can't believe this is happening again



## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

Had an US today at 8 weeks. Fully confident that everything would be okay this time. I guess since my last pregnancy went well, I was a bit in denial about the 2 prior m/c. Well, it's happening again. No heartbeat, embryo at 6 weeks' size. Of course, ob tried to tell me dates might be off, but I know they're not.
Now the waiting starts. I was so not prepared for this.
Although, for the first time we didn't tell anyone, and now I almost wish we had. I will still tell my parents and some close friends, and I guess my boss so she'll know what's happening..
Okay, rambling now. Guess i just need some hugs and support, I'm home by myself. I'll be picking up ds1 soon though, and intend to make the very best of our afternoon off together..


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## alegna (Jan 14, 2003)

I'm so sorry.

-Angela


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## Whittliz (Oct 5, 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear about this.......


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## ChristyM26 (Feb 26, 2006)

I'm sorry you have to go through this again.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

So sorry you are losing another baby. So, so sorry.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry, Gabry


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## KensJen (Dec 1, 2003)

I am so sorry. It isn't fair that you are going through this again. Thinking of you.


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## soccermominsd (Feb 8, 2006)

to you..I am so sorry.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

Thanks for all the hugs. It makes me sad to think that all of you have gone through losses as well, and that this is why I feel so comforted here. I am so sorry for everyone's lost babies as well.
I have to admit that during my last pregnancy I stopped going to this forum very often; it would add to the anxiety and worries I had about the pregnancy, but now I'm so grateful to get support from women who don't know me but understand what I'm going through. Thanks all for being here.

Today was not a great day.
I told myself I would appreciate my two boys even more, and enjoy spending time with them this weekend, but I was low on patience and not the best mama. I feel bad; if I'm like that with them, what makes me think I even deserve another kid?
And then of course, what am I even complaining about, what about the mamas who don't have kids yet, the ones who lose babies at term, how dare I feel bad for myself?


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## KensJen (Dec 1, 2003)

I completely understand how you feel. And allow yourself to have these feelings, you are entitled to feel whatever you feel, yk? Sometimes it is good to just let those feelings come out for awhile and then go on with the day. It is worse if they are bottled up and then you explode.

Sometimes I am comforted with the thought that I do have 2 healthy children, and I'll spend the day with them and it will make me happier and grateful. Other days I look at them and realize what I am missing, their sibling who should be inside me still cooking. I wonder, would she have looked like me or my DH? Would he be like his big brother? What nickname would my other kids have had for the baby? Etc. Those kind of thoughts make my heart hurt. So, although yes, we are blessed with the children we have here on earth, it doesn't mean we miss our angels any less.

I also know how you feel about being a bad mama. I feel like I lost most of the summer with my pregnancy sickness, then waiting on the miscarriage, having and recovering from the m/c...I missed out on so much time with my kids. And when I was with them I was grouchy, tired, and had very little patience. It hurts me to think about it, but I had to let it go. They are fine and Daddy has been wonderful. I had to cut myself some slack and realize that I had to grieve and heal and couldn't always be the happy and fun mama. Cut yourself some slack, too.

We're all here for you.







Come back and "chat" with us anytime.


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## hannybanany (Jun 3, 2006)

I am so sorry that you are experiencing another loss


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

Thanks Jen, for validating my feelings. You made me feel a little better..


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## ~Katrinka~ (Feb 4, 2007)

First, I am so very sorry for your loss. And hey, you have *every* right to be sad. It doesn't matter when you lost your baby, it's the fact that you lost your baby. It doesn't matter whether you have other children or not. Each kind of loss brings its own unique kind of pain.








Please don't worry about being a bad mommy. I know I have felt like I haven't been the best mommy I could be the past 4 months. It's okay for your children to experience you being sad or not yourself, as long as they understand why, or at least understand that they are not the reason. Children can understand that their parents are people with feelings...sometimes they are people with sad feelings. I think it's healthy for children to see that their parents can work through sad times and tough times. It's part of learning to grow up, and be a complete person. Big hugs to your whole family.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

I am so sorry momma. It can be so difficult at times. I also think a loss after two successful pregnancies can feel like a punch in the stomache...you were blissfully pregnant, and felt completely at ease and confident in your body. Hugs momma. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that your body and heart can heal soon. Thinking good thoughts for you!


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## taradt (Jun 10, 2003)

I am so sorry. It is bad enough going through it once, but to repeatedly is just so wrong









You have everyright to be less then perfect, you are going through a loss and need to process the thoughts and feelings that go along with that.


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## LeahC (Sep 10, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KensJen* 
Those kind of thoughts make my heart hurt. So, although yes, we are blessed with the children we have here on earth, it doesn't mean we miss our angels any less.


Ditto! I was so sad when I had my second miscarriage, but then I had that little voice in my head telling me to be thankful for my 17.5 month old. While I love him so much and so grateful for his presence in my life, that doesn't take away the desire to have and love another child.

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

(((((hugs)))))) mama


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## Katana (Nov 16, 2002)

I'm sorry, mama.


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## gabry (Jan 21, 2004)

Thanks for more hugs and support! Nothing is happening yet, and I guess it might be weeks.. I ended up not telling my boss. Even though I expect her to be sympathetic, she may not understand why I would want to wait, so I'll just tell her when it happens, if need be.
Hi Tara! Thanks for posting. I liked it better though when we would meet in the ddc..


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## momz3 (May 1, 2006)




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## countrybound (Jun 28, 2007)

The same thing just happened to me yesterday. I know what you're going through.


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