# 17 Weeks and waiting



## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

Hello,

I'm new to MDC and wish my first post here was a happy one.

At 12w3d I couldn't find my baby's heartbeat with our doppler (heard it the day before) and the next day ultrasound confirmed what we already knew - that our precious baby had died. The baby was measuring exactly 12w3d.









This is my fifth m/c, and the second time we found out this way. The last time our baby was 15w and due to family/work commitments I chose to have a D&E. I have Anti-Phospholipid syndrome and take lovenox and baby aspirin...unfortunately the treatment does not always mean a live baby.

Anyway, after hearing the news with this baby, I decided to have a natural m/c at home. At 15w (almost three weeks after the baby died) I started bleeding and my cervix was very soft and open. I had several hours of contractions and then passed many clots...no sac, baby or placenta. I continued to bleed lightly and exactly one week later at 16w I had more contractions and heavy bleeding with clots for a few hours. Still no baby.

I am now at 17w5d. Sorry if this is TMI - I have been able to feel a large lump in my slightly dilated cervix. I believe this is the baby or placenta. I am still bleeding lightly and have no signs of infection, but it will not come out.

I've tried Vitamin C, parsley infusion, and Dong Quai, and acupuncture to see if I can get contractions going strong enough to move things along. I do have ctx, but nothing like the ones that produced the heavy bleeding and clots.

I'm worried about developing an infection (been taking garlic, echinacea, probiotics, and of course the Vit. C) and I really don't want another D&E if I can help it. DH and I wanted to do this naturally so we could see the baby. I still have unresolved grief over not being able to see our baby last time.

Anyone else out there have a natural m/c this far along that took a long time to complete?

Take care,

Willow


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for each of your losses.


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## amrijane128 (Jan 6, 2007)

Our m/c was quickly over with at 11 weeks so I haven't been there personally but wanted to respond. Do you have a midwife you could call? I'd hate to see this turn into an infection. I know black and blue cohosh will help with contractions, though I'm not sure on amounts.


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## Jenne (May 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your losses! You might check out Susan Weeds book, "The Herbal Book for the Childbearing Years." She suggests blue and black cohosh with shepherds purse on hand to stop if bleeding becomes too much. You'll have to check the book for dosage and specific recommendations.

Again, I'm so sorry for your losses! I wish you the best.

Jenne


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## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

*Amy* - Thank you

*Amri* - I don't have a midwife but I have an OB referral from my primary doc (who used to practice OB). I have not called him yet, but I will if any sign of an infection develop.

*Jenne* - I do have the blue/black cohosh recommendation - 20 drops tincture of each, every four hours for five days. I am cautious about the Blue Cohosh because I have low blood pressure. My dh thought I could try one dose and we can monitor my BP and discontinue if it lowers.

I am scouring the archives trying to find other stories...I did find one:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=418008

Check out the first post then the update in post #14. The OP passed the sac and baby more than a month after the bleeding started. Wow!

I'm just going to hang in a little longer and have faith that my body can complete this naturally. If I could just get my MIL and Mom to stop pestering me!

Take care,

Willow


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## Amy&4girls (Oct 30, 2006)

My thoughts are w/you as you continue waiting. And again I am so sorry.


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

s mama I am so sorry for your losses.


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## ecstaticmama24 (Sep 20, 2006)

I am so sorry for all of your losses and that you are currently experiencing this.

How much Vit. C are you taking?

As for infection, I wouldn't be too worried unless something goes in. If nothing foriegn enters your "area" then you should be okay. Just keep an eye out for signs of infection like fever and sickness.

I'm not sure where you are, but I know there are doulas out there that will help with home miscarriages.

(((hugs)))


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## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

*Jenne* and *Peacemama* - Thank you.









*Andrea* - Thanks...I am taking between 6-8G of Vit. C a day.

I am feeling crampy this afternoon and fatigued. After talking w/ DH, we decided to try the Blue Cohosh this evening and see how my BP reacts.

Take care,

Willow


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## Jenne (May 21, 2004)

Willow,

Take care! Please update us and let us know how you are doing. You and yours will be in my prayers this evening.

Jenne


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## MovingMomma (Apr 28, 2004)

Willow, I'm so sorry.









Medical management doesn't have to mean a D&E...there are other options, though I don't know what could be appropriate for your situation, but you might consider consulting a dr to find out.


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## haydensmom06 (May 8, 2007)

I just wanted to send you some hugs! I am not sure I'd have the strength to wait it out that long.


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## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

*Jenne* - thank you again for your prayers.

*Shannon* - I did meet with my doc the day after we confirmed the baby died. The medical management (Cytotec) was not an option because of how far along I am. She said she didn't feel comfortable prescribing that beyond 8-10 weeks. To be honest, I'm very hesitant to go that route.

*Haydensmom* - Thank you.

I would be 18w1d today.









I didn't end up trying the Cohoshes until last night. There was not a significant BP reaction, so I'm going to continue with it today.

I did have major cramping earlier yesterday, and passed a small clot...but that was it.

The one thing I haven't tried is exercise. I've read a few stories that mama's m/c's started in earnest after yoga or jogging. I have been a lazy lump these past 6w and need to get some motivation here to try! Maybe I should stand naked in front of a mirror. LOL!


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## jess_paez (Jul 5, 2008)

i am so sorry for your losses.







go easy on yourself. take all the time you need to grieve.


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## gorgorita (Feb 5, 2008)

Hi. I see that your last post is from few days back and hope everything is over by now. I wanted to say sorry for your loss and what you're going through and wanted to share my experience.
I was in your shoes just a week ago. Believe me, I understand what you're going through. For me it took a lot of time, months literally but it wasn't my choice to wait. It was very stressful for me and my body. My story:
I started spotted at 6 weeks and knew something is wrong/ At about 8 weeks I started to miscarry actively. It was something I didn't expect - a lot of blood, huge clots and that continued for 10 hours. I was exhausted and DH was afraid for my life as I bled a LOT. Like non stop and clotted. I passed big chunks of tissues but I didn't see the baby and assumed I just missed it. I then spotted for 3 weeks and on my follow up everything looked fine. A week later I started spotting again and then the bleeding picked up and I was bleeding heavily for over 2 weeks. I went to OB and we did the hormone level test which was 9. She got worried that the bleeding is so heavy ( I was changing pads every two hours (for two weeks)). She offered DNC but I refused (we don't have insurance) and she gave me some drug that I was supposed to take if the bleeding won't stop in a week. She assumed that it could be my period and that's why it's so heavy and long. Next day she ordered me to take another test and it came back 7. She said it's a good sign. I stopped bleeding two days later. Then no bleeding or spotting for another 2 weeks. Then the bleeding started again. That was 8 weeks after the m/c. I started to pass a lot of blood clots and one night a fist size clot came out. I was worried and went for a check up. Again everything looked fine and my OB said it's my next period. Well, it didn't looked like a period to me and I asked if it could be a retained tissue. No, was the answer. I asked for the hormone pregnancy test but the doctor said no need. I insisted. The test came back 0, meaning that there is nothing left but my gut was telling me that something is not right. The bleeding stopped but spotting didn't/ I spotted one days and light bled anther. It continued for another 2 weeks. My doctor told me that it's hormonal. I decided to go for a second opinion. My complaints of bleeding and pain were ignored. By this time it was 3 months after the miscarriage and it seemed to me like I've been bleeding for all three months. I had a back pain and some cramping and I thought to myself that it feels like labor. I have one child and know what a labor feels like. Sure enough, after a week of this feeling (light bleeding never stopped) I passed something hard while on the toilet. I freaked out. I picked it up and looked. I definitely saw a spine. That was a baby. I rushed to my OB who confirmed that it also looked like a fetus to him. I took it home and buried it. I would've been 20 weeks by then. It was some kind of a closure to me but if I had a choice I would opt out for DNC. All those 3 months I was sure that I will never heal from the miscarriage and was afraid if I ever gonna have kids again. I can't even find words to explain you all the depression I had. I am still in shock that it took my body so long to let go. I now feel great. I never had an infection or any signs of it.
I heard that sometimes miscarriage takes a long time, months and that if you don't have any signs of infection than your body can do it on its own. I wouldn't recommend to do it for this long however.
Good luck and I hope you find peace in the natural miscarriage.


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## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

*Gorgorita* - Wow...thank you for your timely reply! I am sorry for the loss of your baby.







Your story is amazing.

Unfortunately, I am still waiting. I called my doctor and she reiterated the signs of infection to watch for (fever, localized pain, foul smelling discharge) and advised to follow-up in a week.

I am vacillating between continuing to wait and having the D&E procedure. Even though I've had a successful D&E before, I am hesitant due to the risks (cervical/uterine scarring, general anesthesia risks). However, I honestly do not want to go through the holidays bleeding and waiting. I'm giving it another week.

Gorgorita...you give me hope that it may just finish naturally.

Take care,

Willow


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## gorgorita (Feb 5, 2008)

Hi
I hope you will not go through what I've been to. I was emotionally drained and physically too, it seemed like.
Some of the reason I think it took me so long is because I didn't want to let go in my mind. I acted as if it wasn't a big deal and the baby died so early in the pregnancy that it wasn't a baby yet but deep in my heart I denied the miscarriage and was unable to realize the loss and how important this little baby was for me. A little angel came to be with me and chose to be his/her mother and for some reason it didn't happen this time. I hope that this same baby will come back.
I just now had a chance to morn this baby and let go and I felt sad but in peaceful kind of way
Maybe your baby doesn't want to leave you yet. Our mind and bodies are connected, don't forget about it. Maybe you should concentrate and think why aren't you letting go. Maybe it's time for you to see him/her, don't be afraid just let it happen.
Wishing you the best,
Rita


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## WillowsWay (Oct 28, 2009)

Well, I'm still here. I had a beta done (5 weeks after the initial bleeding started) and it came back at 33. The OB/GYN referral is trying to fit me in next week for a consult and u/s. I've decided to have the D&E done. My body obviously doesn't get it and I need this to be over.

I'll post an update next week.

Take care,

Willow


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

I'm sorry


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## Milk8shake (Aug 6, 2009)

Best of luck for the D&E mama. I hope this will start to turn things around for you and allow you to begin healing.


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## dinahx (Sep 17, 2005)

If you haven't had it done yet, it is possible the baby will still come: I lost my sweet LO at 10 weeks, found out by U/S at 11w5, m/c started 2 weeks later, was in the hospital overnight, had one small dose of Cytotec (not enough to do anything 200 mcg), had U/S, was told the baby was gone, and then 7 days later, with only minor cramping, passed my sweet baby!

There is an induction option for each stage of pregnancy loss! If you haven't had your D&E yet, look on PubMed!


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