# Piercing their navels?



## Red (Feb 6, 2002)

Ugh! My two 15 yo twins dd wish to pierce their belly bouttons. I am totally aginst this.

I think it looks really sexy,







and I don't want _them_ to look sexy! I think on some teens it looks slutty, like when a 10 yo wears loads of make-up and inappropriate clothing.

Also, I did some research before I said 'no' and found they easily infect and are hard to heal. In fact, they are supposed to be teh most dangerous of all piercings!

I said, when you're 18 you can pierce anythign you want. The usually mellow one is the one fighting me on this. SHe wants to argue about it EVERY DAY. The usual...it's HER body, she wants to, why not, but what if...

Personally, I think it's just something to argue about. I remember asking my mother, when I was 14 if I could smoke. I was already to drive her crazy, but she said yes. Took the wind out of my sails. Unfortunately, I was stubborn, so I felt I had to smoke now, and did for ten years, causing me endless bouts of bronchitis,e tc.

I think Iif I say yes, she'll pierce it, and find something else to nag me about. My DH is weakening, he's tired and she's relentless. (I'll kill him if he caves, though!)

Any ideas? ANy ways to try and change her mind, or just SHUT HER UP? I'm starting to feel like this...


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

I wish I knew. Because my dd did the same thing. I did not want it done. I told her that we would discuss it when she was 16.
But dad didnt really see the point of me trying to control this and she wanted it done for 8th grade graduation.
I gave in before she did.
She got hers done at 13.
I respect your desire not to let your girls do this. I felt, and still feel the same way.
Good luck
Joline


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## crunchymamatobe (Jul 8, 2004)

This is probably not what you want to hear, but I would let them do it.

My experience: I wanted it done when I was 15. Argued about it with my mom for a long time. She finally agreed to take me to get it done, thinking that she didn't want me going to some grungy place where they wouldn't even ID a 15 year old kid. She asked the piercer all kinds of questions about sterilizing procedures and what not. It worked out fine. It's been 10+ years and I've never had any problems with it.

My sister, on the other hand, did hers in a sneaky fashion (at her friend's house with a safety pin!) without asking our mom, and ended up with infections galore. She had to remove the piercing eventually and now has some gnarly scar tissue instead. Not sexy at all.


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## Curious Me (Feb 9, 2005)

My 15 1/2 year old daughter bugs me all the time about getting hers pierced. Worse (for ME) is that she also is talking about nose piercing and tatoos!! I just hope hope hope that she waits till she is in her 20s before she does any tatooing. They are soooo permanent and I'd like her to be more mature when making a decision on such a permanent piece of art.

Most kids grow up sooooooooooo fast these days--doing, getting and having everything that fully grown adults do, get and have. I don't think there is a reason my daughter has to have everything out there before the age of 16--or 17 or 18! Everything in due time. I believe some delayed gratification is healthy. My daughter is not allowed to wear thongs. I know, I know, "all the girls do!!!" Mine doesn't. We went from briefs (grade school) to bikinis to string bikinis (just this year) and next year, I will (begrudgingly -- because they just seem so sexy and adult-like to me) buy her thongs.

Belly button ring. I don't see it as a right just because her body is her body. At this point in her life, it is definitly a privilige. The deal is she can have one when she is 16 AND is doing a good job of being responsible and trustworthy (i.e. maintaining her grades, not lying, etc.). I fully believe, based on tons of conversations with her, that she will one day say "I'm glad my mom didn't give me everything I asked for all the time."


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## umefey (Sep 10, 2004)

Personally, I would let my DD do it at that age (She's almost 3 now, so I have a while :LOL ).
On one condition though, she would have to follow a very good aftercare program including taking extra vitamins, and doing herbal and saline rinses.
I would go with her to get the piercing, but would have her ask to see the last autoclave spore test results and also have her take a look at the piercers portfolio.
I would want her to take something more from the experience than just a belly button ring kwim?
I did a lot of self-piercing when I was young, and it wasn't until I studied piercing that I understood all of the grossness and tissue damage that I did to my body. ICK!

At least she's not asking for a triple nape!! :LOL


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

If you are just worried about them looking sexy, then imho, belly piercing will not enhance it - I think they are awful.

However, if dd comes to me wanting it done at that age, I'd say yes to belly button over nose, lip, tongue, etc.


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## BumbleBena (Mar 18, 2005)

My best friend just had her nape pierced. I think it's cool looking, but I would never do it.









Do you think you could do some reasearch with your DDs, so they are well informed about the piercing procedure, why you think it's a bad idea, after care, what to do to prevent infection, what happens if infection occurs, etc?

Also, would they go behind your back if you continue to say no? My SIL pierced her belly button at a slumber party in the 5th grade







, would your girls be likely to do something like that?


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## Curious Me (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BumbleBena*
Also, would they go behind your back if you continue to say no? My SIL pierced her belly button at a slumber party in the 5th grade







, would your girls be likely to do something like that?

Holy smokes!!! That is DETERMINATION!! I have a belly button ring and I know that it hurt (not horribly, but still) to have it done PROFESSIONALLY. And, the healing was a slow and not-so-comfy process. How long did she have it? What did your parent(s) say??? Wow! Gutsy lil' thing eh?


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## umefey (Sep 10, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BumbleBena*
My best friend just had her nape pierced. I think it's cool looking, but I would never do it.









I love nape piercings! They are one of my favorites but sooo hard to heal properly.


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

My very wise dh pointed out to me that nothign I can do is going to stop her from growing up or slow her down any.
I tend to react very strongly at these junctures where she wants to do things that I think are "adult".
For example, when I found thong underwear in her laundry I threw them away. She wasnt allowed to wear thong and she knew it and bought some anyway and hid them.
When she wanted her belly button pierced I told her I wouldnt even discuss it till she was 15.
DH asked me what my motivation was for these rules and what was I afraid of.
Well I told him that I thought she should have to wait for some things. And he asked me why I thought these things really were more acceptable at one age than another and what did they mean.
I thought they were too "sexy". TUrns out that is not dd's motivation at all.
In fact, dd was in dance. And ALL dancers wear thong underwear under their leotards. I ought to be happy they were invented because when I was in dance we were expected to wear tights with no undies under our leotard.
My dd wasnt using the thong underwear as an excuse to show boys her butt. She just wanted to wear the kind of underwear everybody else was in dance, and only other girls saw them.
So after a heartfelt talk with DH who pointed out that the thign I am really concerned about is premature sexuality, and that the type of underwear is only a symbol of that for me, but really is irrelevant, I went out and actually bought her some thong underwear to replace those I had gotten rid of.
And with the belly button piercing. It was the same thign. My personal 'rule' is that body modification that is irreversible is never allowed. I have nothign against belly button piercing, but I wanted her to have something to look forward to for the future.
Again DH told me that she still wont be able to get her drivers permit till she is 15 1/2 or her license till she is 16. She wont graduate high school till she is 17 and cant vote till she is 18 and cant buy alcohol or lottery tickets till she is 21. Society already has quite of bit of things that kids cant do without me going and inventing more with no "good reason".
SO I caved. . .
And I took her myself to get her navel pierced for her jr high graduation.
And it healed nicely. And she isnt getting a tattoo or running round doing drugs and having sex and she still tries to get good grades.
Turns out it was a smallie after all.
AND I get to be the "cool mom"
Joline


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## irinam (Oct 27, 2004)

Umm&#8230; may be another poster with "you don't want to hear this", but I thought maybe different POV's will benefit this thread.

So, without bashing anybody's beliefs, here is what happened in our family. When DS was around 10 he dyed his hair green. When he was 11 he dyed his hair blue. I helped him both times. Even before that he got an earring (to be just like his Daddy)

Now, at 18 he has a crew cut. Took his earring off. As he says - "the hair thing is for kids, and the earrings are just not cool"

Now, why am I describing this? Just because he did the "unconventional" things at the "unconventional" age that was hard for many from our extended family to accept - he did not magically turn into a wild unruly person. If anything - he was empowered to make decisions about his own body/image. He knew he could ask my advice on how to do things safely.

On the other hand - me as a teenager&#8230; I did not even bother asking my parents if I could make a few extra holes in my ears. I knew they would freak. What did I do? I took a sawing needle and with all the "knowledge" of a 14yo pocked THREE extra holes in my left ear. I wore my hair down so they did not know until I was 20-something. I majorly lucked out that I did not cause any serious damage to myself!

Oh, and I did have a belly button ring until my second pregnancy (I did have that one done professionally) Now it closed up and I do have a dark tiny dot where it was, which is not a big deal to me.

Ok, enough rambling. I guess what I am trying to do is present the case of "it is not a big deal when done properly and it does not lead to issues later on in the future"


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## boycrazy (Feb 13, 2004)

The decisions we struggle over!!!
I have a bb ring, love it even with a chubby tummy.







I got it as an adult in a reputable shop from a trained piercer that uses sterile equiptment. It is a hard to heal piercing that requires care. I never had trouble really. I think you have to discuss your daughter's motivation and know her personality. Is she already having boy issues? That would be my deciding factor. Blessings on your decision making...


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## canadianchick (May 18, 2005)

Here is another "I'd let them do it". My dd is only 9 but we talk about peircings and whether she will want one when she is older. I think your girls are old enough to be responsible with it. Take them and make a day of it. It could be a real bonding experience. As someone who has various tattoos and piercings, make sure you shop around to find a place that is super clean and equipped with sterilizing equipment. Good luck!


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## Red (Feb 6, 2002)

So I tried something new tonight. It's been an every night at dinner thign for a few weeks. TOnight, as soon as they started, I said, nottonight. This is dinner and I don't want to hear it. Ok, they dropped it.

ONE freaking minute later the usually mellow one who's been playing instigator/irritater, starts up with (to her twin)"I think the summer of 2007 would be the perfect ime for two teens to see California, don't you?"

Ah. I've told them to go to cali the following summer, when they are 18. THat I'm not letting them go alone to wander around the other side of teh country. (Why do they want to go? Maybe to look at schools, but they laugh when they say it)

So, I DO think it's just a a matter of looking for a way to cut the apron strings, to pick something impossible and argue it. ENdlessly.

I wouldn't care if they dyed their hair, or cut it in an unusual way. My son had hair to his waist and a pierced ear when he was 5. This is a body mod that is hard to heal. And when I suggested research, they both got pissy. What was there to research?

I even suggested bmezine.com, figured it would give them info, but they didn't look.

I'm not letting them based on teh facts thatI don't think I should for the reasons stated above and because they are unwilling to research it, or to take the matter seriously.

ButI may be back to complain!


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## polka123 (Nov 27, 2003)

most places won't do it until they are 18 but.... I took my DD for her belly @ 17 (a friend who owned a tatt/piercing did it for us)

Do you all really have a place that would do it @ 15 YO?

I would @ 16 or 17 yo bit thats just me..


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I'd let Dd do it by then personally. But I'd encourage her to look at all the info, and to do her research. It sounds like they are craving/trying to be (or at least to be seen as) a little more grown up.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I cannot even get my 16 yr old ds or 13 yr old dd to get their ears pierced!

I am not sure how I feel about naval piercings, but I think one or more ear piercings are really cute.

Dank and nada for them.

My mother *made* me get my ears pierced at 12. I cried all the way to the mall, and all the way through the gunning. (She kept saying "it's time...it's time". It didn't hurt me, but when they healed, I took the studs out. I didn't wear earrings again until college.

Then I got more piercings on my own.









I actually thought piercing places won't even pierce a minors' BB?


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

IT depends on the state.
In my state a parent has to be present and proof of identity must be shown.
My dd was 13.
THey were a great shop and did an excellent job. It didnt hurt and it healed really quickly.
My dd is a HUGE researcher though. I knew we both had all the info before agreeing.
Joline


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Rain wants to get her nose pierced. I asked her to do some research on it, and she did, including finding out about infection rates and prevention and the laws in Kansas and Missouri. Both require parental permission only for minors, so she started asking around for recommendations. Unfortunately, most highly recommended shops weren't willing to pierce a 12 year old's nose, even with her mom right there saying okay, and I can kind of see their point... they need to have a uniform policy. They will do earlobes if the kid is asking for it (with parental permission) no matter what the age. I wish we'd lived here when Rain went to get the second set of holes in hers, because I hate those piercing guns with a passion, but in California if you're under 16 you can't have a licensed piercer pierce anything, even with parental permission. Stupid, IMO.

So, we're sort of stuck for the moment, although she's still looking into places that might make an exception for her.

By the way, she currently has Blue Mayhem hair... before that it was red... before that, black. She's done blue, pink, and green, too, starting at 7. Well, I do the actual bleaching and dying, because it's hard to do your own hair, but she makes the decisions.

I would tell 15 year olds that I would sign off on a piercing if they could find a reputable place and have a plan about how to care for it. And I think a cross-country road trip sounds like great fun for a pair of 17 year olds... If they're trying to be independent, I'd give them some opportunities, and if they're not willing to take it seriously, then you don't need to take it seriously either.

Dar


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

In both Kansas and Texas, you have to be 18, or have a parent present. I have several piercings. I pierced my own bb when my mom wouldn't let me at 13, and hid it, didn't know how to take care of it, then, when my dog jumped up on me, his toenail got caught and he ripped it out. It was very painful from the start. My ears are pierced all over, and I had 7 piercings before I was out of high school. My mom just sighed. I got my tongue pierced when I was 19, though I took it out when I met hubby (he didn't like it, then it healed before I knew it.....). I knew a lot of girls in middle and high school who had their bb's pierced, and they weren't any more promiscouis (sp?). I don't guess I see what the big deal is, if they don't get this, it may morph into them doing other things to feel more grown up, not sure if you want to go down that road....

But, maybe you can tell them they can get it done when they turn 16 or whatever, as long as they do some research and learn how they need to take care of it, to prevent infection. I don't even have a scar anymore from mine, and it was pretty nasty. Have a serious talk with them, tell them that getting things like this done is a sign of maturity, and you'll be more than happy to say "yes" when they start to take it more seriously, and look into all the info, and help you find a place that has a good reputation, a known piercer that uses sterile equipment, etc. This may come across as a little more positive than just a simple, "No".


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## grypx831 (May 22, 2005)

My sister had hers done and accidentally ripped it out taking off a sweater - that right there convinced me I hate those things.


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## Ravin (Mar 19, 2002)

My sisters (twins) went and got theirs done together, then one took hers out and the other got pissy that she did. Then, the one that took her BB out went and got her tongue pierced.

The one that still had the BB is in Kuwait now. Not sure if she took it out when she went on active duty or not.

But they were over 18.

And I went to Cali at 17, stayed w/ my aunt and my grandma by turns but roamed around on the BART and buses and such by myself. Came out of it in one piece. If they go together they'll have each other to look out for each other.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar*

So, we're sort of stuck for the moment, although she's still looking into places that might make an exception for her.

Dd talks about getting her belly done too, but she hasn't mentioned it lately. (I want my nose done but I am a huge weenie! Rain is braver than me lol.) We have the same age requirement type issues here though. She's not quite ready yet, but I am sure by 15/16 she will have it done.

Quote:

Well, I do the actual bleaching and dying, because it's hard to do your own hair, but she makes the decisions.
Same here. Dd has black stripes in her blonde hair. It looks great.

Quote:

If they're trying to be independent, I'd give them some opportunities, and if they're not willing to take it seriously, then you don't need to take it seriously either.








I totally agree.


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## fire_lady (Aug 24, 2005)

IMO its better to let her now first of the pros and cons of navel piercing, what to do during and after the piercing and then allow her if she still want to continue the process.


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## applejuice (Oct 8, 2002)

I never let my children get tatoos or piercings until they were over 18...

*BUT*

I did pierce my DD's ears three times, because mine are done that way.


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## Starflower (Sep 25, 2004)

Not really sure what I'd do since my DD is only 2 right now. I got my ears pierced at age 8 (which was a bit unusual then) but my mom only let me because my cousin got hers done. Originally, I was supposed to wait until 13. My SIL got her DD's done when she was an infant, but I think children should have a choice in the matter.

I wanted a second piercing on my ear when I was in high school. Mom said no. I did it anyway with a sterilized needle and an ice cube looking into the mirror. Amazingly, it came out great, though it was always more sensitive to nickel than the holes I got when I was 8. (Mom didn't notice for 3 days - I had funky short hair back then.) Then after working with wires day in and day out in an ortho lab 4 years ago, my ears became super sensitive to metals and I had to stop wearing earrings completely. Bummer.

One of my old roommates got her bellybutton done and kept having trouble with infections or irritations. She tried twice, then gave up.

One of my mommy friends (who has twins) has her nose pierced. I actually like the look of most nose piercings though I don't think I'd want to highlight my own nose that way.

My bridesmaid for my first wedding had an eyebrow pierced but let it go after a couple years. So it's not like everything is super permanent. (Aside from the tats of course.)

If DD wants a tattoo, she'll need to wait until 18 years old. (As for tattoos, when I lived in TN you had to be 18. Not sure what it is here in WA but I guess I'll probably find out.) I kind of wanted to get a tattoo for awhile, but I could never decide on something I'd want forever, so I never did. I do play around with henna tattoos sometimes though.

If DD wants piercings, I think we'll handle it one situation at a time. Personally, I'd rather have my kid get a belly button piercing than her tongue - if only because I get grossed out by people who "play" with their tongue piercings all the time. Ick.

And I am a belly dancer and DD already likes to "dance" with me, so maybe by the time she's a teen, I'll think it'd be great for her dance persona? Who knows.


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## scrappingmom (Sep 3, 2005)

Red ... Maybe what you could do is YOU look into laws and such in your area if you are really really against allowing it... and do like... er, i forget who... who said well you do the research and find somewhere meeting such and such guidelines (giving guidelines you know cant LEGALLY be found in your state) then they can go off hunting and will learn that it simply isnt legal and that they have no choice but wait.... just a possible option. maybe a little underhanded or something on your end, but it will give them the learning experiance and maybe buy you that precious time for either them to grow past the desire(since for some its short lived) or perhaps for the idea to grow on you???

side not... my 6 yr old son told dh and i tonight he wants his ears pierced because " most all the girls in my class are totally into guys with earings" ..... i was never against him getting them done.. but isnt he a lil young for THAT reason?! sheesh!!!!!!


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## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

to deal with these issues, my plan is this:

No tattoos until age 21.

Meaning that if he/she want to dye their hair 45 colors, pierce every available flap of skin, wear purple plastic from head to toe...fine with me. These things can all be very simply undone. But tattoos are adults only (legal or not, teenagers are not adults), and I will explain the concept (and illustrate if needs be) of changing sense of self in the late-teens twenties that we've all experienced. What a kid finds cool at that age will almost certainly *not* be something they want immortalized on their bodies forever, and almost every person I've known or met who got a tattoo before their twenties has seriously regretted it. Many of those who waited do as well.

I had my belly button pierced when I was 19 (step-sister practically dragged me...even with the numbing cream hurt horribly and took FOREVER to heal), my right nipple pierced when I was 21, a short-lived nose piercing at 21, a lip piercing at 23, and my first of three tattoos at 23. Briefly re-pierced my nose last year.

My belly button piercing fell out when I was 24 (was bored of it anyway), I removed my nipple piercing last year when it became seriously infected, and removed my lip piercing at 24 due to work issues (same with both nose piercings). Easily dealt with, no serious scarring or sepsis. My tattoos (one on my lower right belly, one on my lower left back, one on my lower left forearm) cannot be removed, except by very expensive, painful, and more than likely unsuccessful laser surgery. I was lucky enough to make good choices in artists so that they have stood well the test of time...many are not so lucky. And though I was mentally and emotionally mature when I had them done (and all remain special/meaningful to me), I still have days where I wonder if I made the right decision...for example always wearing long sleeves at work has it's inconveniences...as do the disapproving comments and looks of others (when my art is showing, I *always* get followed by salespeople when shopping), limited my choice in partners (totally stupid, but worth mentioning...it is still VERY taboo in our culture for women to be tattooed), etc.

Hence, this type of modification is not for impressionable children or teenagers who haven't developed a strong sense of self or direction, and who are likely unable to fully appreciate the consequences of visible, permanent body work in an often very disapproving world.

Sorry for the length, passionate subject.


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## marymom (Nov 24, 2001)

Whats wrong with a 15 year old looking sexy?
slut is a strong word.

Now the bellyring answer could be based on health
that you think it might be dangerous

or on the fact that you trust them to make healthy choices for themselvs.

Really this could be used as an opportunity for you to impart your values on them,

values which you may wish to discern before passing.Values on sexuality and beauty and health and healthy behavior.
in other words, my advice is to
Decide what your opinions are on these things, before you impart feelings ratherthan healthy values- feelings tend to muck up conversations on important subjects with daughters unless they are processed firstl.
~Mary


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cjuniverse*
to deal with these issues, my plan is this:

No tattoos until age 21.

Not to be snarky, but how are you going to stop them? Or, maybe I'm reading this wrong (if I am, please forgive me!!). I was working in a prison as a nurse and living on my own, in a city 8 hours away from my mother by 18 yrs old. She didn't have a darn say in if I got a tattoo or not. In fact, it's while living away from her that I got my tongue pierced. I think that all kids are different, and mature at much different ages, and we need to account for that.


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## Ravin (Mar 19, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *cjuniverse*
to deal with these issues, my plan is this:

No tattoos until age 21.
But tattoos are adults only (legal or not, teenagers are not adults), and I will explain the concept (and illustrate if needs be) of changing sense of self in the late-teens twenties that we've all experienced. What a kid finds cool at that age will almost certainly *not* be something they want immortalized on their bodies forever, and almost every person I've known or met who got a tattoo before their twenties has seriously regretted it. Many of those who waited do as well.

These are some interesting points.

I got several of my tattoos before I was 21. Aside from being annoyed by shipmates who called me "chicken lady" (because my last name only needs one sound change to be "of the chicken" in Spanish, and my first two tattoos were of an owl and a raven), I had and have no regrets about them.

I followed the advice of an older tattoed friend and only got inked when I'd wanted the tattoo for more than a year. This prevented me from getting the alien spaceship I thought was cool when I was 16...but the raven was something I had an affinity for for several years, and still associate strongly with...and even if I didn't anymore, it would mark an important phase in my life that it wouldn't be bad to have a permanent reminder of. I could tell a similar story about each of my tats, but there are 7 and I won't bore you.

The only thing of it I regret was not getting the owl's coloring finished because I hit my pain tolerance...but on the other hand, the way it kind of blends into my skin is cool and I've grown attached to it that way. After that I stuck to smaller tattoos!

eta: do you really expect to be able to control your children to that degree until they are in their early 20's? I was in the Navy, very much independent, from just before my 18th birthday. The last significant thing I ever asked for permission for from my parents, and without it I'd just had to have waited a couple of months.


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## Dar (Apr 12, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *scrappingmom*
Red ... Maybe what you could do is YOU look into laws and such in your area if you are really really against allowing it... and do like... er, i forget who... who said well you do the research and find somewhere meeting such and such guidelines (giving guidelines you know cant LEGALLY be found in your state) then they can go off hunting and will learn that it simply isnt legal and that they have no choice but wait.... just a possible option. maybe a little underhanded or something on your end,

I don't think being underhanded is a good tactic with teens, or with anyone, really. For one thing, it makes it hard to cry foul when they're underhanded in their dealings with you...

Dar


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## allgirls (Apr 16, 2004)

My SIL took my dd to get her bb done and her tongue done and I didn't know about either until much later...she lied and said she was her mother.

I was furious...she told me the guy did it without id but just recently I found out it was my SIL took her.

That said..I was going to take her to get BB done...make sure it was clean and safe and all that on her 15th birthday...I was going to surprise her.

When she first started talking about piercings we made a deal...nothing on the face and then went into scarring and infections and basically I appealed to her vanity. She got her nose done anyway...then took it out after a day because she didn't like it after all...I think it was because I paid no attention whatsoever to it. I think she was out to rile me up, got disappointed and removed it.

My 11 year old just pierced the cartilage in her ear herself...honestly...I am tired of this battle...I think I will buy some piercing equipment and poke holes in them until they leak like a colander...

I just worry about infection...my cousin tells a story about a patient at her hospital that lost an eye due to an eyebrow piercing getting infected...scary.


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## CarrieMF (Mar 7, 2004)

Quote:

So I tried something new tonight. It's been an every night at dinner thign for a few weeks. TOnight, as soon as they started, I said, nottonight. This is dinner and I don't want to hear it. Ok, they dropped it.

ONE freaking minute later the usually mellow one who's been playing instigator/irritater, starts up with (to her twin)"I think the summer of 2007 would be the perfect ime for two teens to see California, don't you?"

Ah. I've told them to go to cali the following summer, when they are 18. THat I'm not letting them go alone to wander around the other side of teh country. (Why do they want to go? Maybe to look at schools, but they laugh when they say it)

So, I DO think it's just a a matter of looking for a way to cut the apron strings, to pick something impossible and argue it. ENdlessly.
Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure thier thinking is the same as yours. I read this and think back to when I was a teen and wanted something. When my parents said no for the umpteenth time I tried a new tactic - bring up something even worse so the original idea that I really want doesn't look so bad so they let me do what I wanted to in the first place. Every teen I knew tried the same tactic with their parents, sometimes it worked and other times it didn't.

So you tell them no, if they really want it they're going to do it themselves and a bb ring is easy to hide. Do you want them to have it done safely or have it done with an ice cube and needle? Piercings are not permanent in the way that tattoos are. I would have no problem with my 15yo getting piercings done.

I was 17 when I had my nose done. My friend and I had it done, our parents did not know about it until after. They were po'd, but in reality there was nothing they could have done to stop us. 12 years later we still have them.

My dd's recently had a babysitter who was 16 and had her belly button done. My almost 7yo thinks it is cool, she'll be asking for one in a few years, she had streaks done 6months ago. My 4yo thinks it is funny/silly that she had an earing in her belly button.

A body piercing does not = sexuality. Teens were having sex without their parents permission long before piercings became popular. I did start having sex after I got it done, but it had nothing to do with the nose ring. It was the drinking at a much older friend's house after the after-dance party both of which my parents didn't know I was at, they thought I was a friend's house who I had not really hung out with in 3years. I was one of the good kids my age.


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## cjuniverse (Sep 22, 2005)

Will hopefully fend off the desire until they are truly ready and past the 'get inked because it's trendy' phase.

There are immature and mature people of all ages...but I strongly believe teenagers are not fully capable of appreciating the consequences of their actions. We're all 'invincible' at that stage with stars in our eyes, to one degree or another...and mostly lacking the experience and big-picture judgement neccessary to wisely make life-altering decisions.

By the way, I wholeheartedly agree about the time limit distinction as well. The longer the planning/desire for a tat, the better the outcome. All of mine were a year or more in the making. I'll be sure to make a point of that as well.

Obviously past a certain age (and certainly if they have moved out on their own) I don't have a say in the matter. As it should be. Just hoping my example will cause some extra thought/reflection on the subject to avoid any permanent oopses. Bad/poorly thought out art can be a huge source of anxiety/regret. Would hate to see my child endure that (though of course if it happens anyway, will be supportive).

Thanks for your replies, it's good to have other's help in keeping those controlling tendencies in check.


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## Breathless Wonder (Jan 25, 2004)

Quote:

I wouldn't care if they dyed their hair, or cut it in an unusual way. My son had hair to his waist and a pierced ear when he was 5.
Sigh. I have been thinking about these issues, and I have come to the conclusion that for some kids, permission to do something "non-mainstream" only results in them searching for something crazier to push the envelope with. And other kids, it is not an issue.

So I have realized that the blanket rule I have made- no permanent modification outside the realm of "normal" until the age of 18 (in other words, on earring hole is about my limit, male or female), may, depending on the personality of my children, be up for debate and discussion.


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## Sharlla (Jul 14, 2005)

No tats until they are 18 (I would encourage them to wait until they are older and know who they are first though) and I don't care about piercings at all. I had a face full when I was 15 (still have my tongue done) and I turned out ok.


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## UnschoolnMa (Jun 14, 2004)

I think that saying "no tattoos until 21" is a bit of stretch. A 20 year old is clearly an adult who needs no parental permission for anything that I can think of.







How are you going to stop a 19 year old even? Why would you want to?


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## johub (Feb 19, 2005)

My solution to the tatoo thing is to tell my DD that is she ever does want to get one it is important to get it in a place that is easily covered by clothing.
I still love my tat 10 years later (though I hardly ever seeit) it is on my rib cage under my right breast. It looked cool in my early 20s when I wore a bikini. Now my toddler nurslings argue over it "My flower!" "No My flower!"
But nobody has ever seen it if I didnt want them to.
I also think that waiting 1 year is a really good idea. And no names!
I had an affinity with roses for a few years before getting mine done.

She has a birthmark on her back and I have even suggested to her that maybe someday she should have legs and antenna tatooed on to turn it into a caterpillar! LOL She is not into the idea.
Joline


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Dar*
So, we're sort of stuck for the moment, although she's still looking into places that might make an exception for her.

Dar


Well, if ou find a place to make an exception...don't go there. If a place gets caught piercing underage it could mean a pull of their health dept, fines, or jail time. Most places that are "reputable" won't do it.

We're lucky that piercing laws are as lax as they are. The reason that kids have to be older is that you aren't talking about a piercing gun like at Claires. You are talking about a hollow needle and that is a different story kinda thing.

Oh and Red, where did you find that a bb is the most "dangerous" piercing? Yeah, they are hard to heal but they aren't dangerous. I mean there is that myyth about a botched job will cause infertility but that is just bunk kinda stuff.


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## its_our_family (Sep 8, 2002)

I forgot to add that the piercing.tatto world is something that we are getting deeper into. DH and I have already discussed what we are going to do.

In the state of OH you have to be 16 to be pierced in a piercing shop. We will not permit our children to be pierced with a gun at the mall. Those are way more dangerous and unclean than anything! So, when they are of age they can get piercings. Once they turn 18 they can get tattoos.

We will sign for metal. We will NOT sign for ink.


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## BumbleBena (Mar 18, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Curious Me*
Holy smokes!!! That is DETERMINATION!! I have a belly button ring and I know that it hurt (not horribly, but still) to have it done PROFESSIONALLY. And, the healing was a slow and not-so-comfy process. How long did she have it? What did your parent(s) say??? Wow! Gutsy lil' thing eh?









She did it with a safety pin, and gradually stretched the hole. At 19, she still has it. :LOL She told her mom, who helped her keep it secret from her dad until she was 17, and then he gave his permission for her to have it pierced.


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## Marlet (Sep 9, 2004)

Here's my experience.....(I don't have any kids your dd's age yet)

I wanted mine done. As did my entire group of friends. My friend did hers and it was slightly crooked but it was fine (her and her sister did theirs together with a safety pin). Another friend did hers a cleaner way (bought a piercing needle and piercing ring and sterilized it and had a friend certified to pierce do it for her) and her body forced it out, pushed it right out of her belly button. I had the first friend pierce mine (with a saftey pin which I replaced with a ring in about a week) and still have it (and it's straight :LOL). I had a slight infection when I moved from my dad's to my mom's (in a different state...it got irritated and I didn't o anything about it asap) but that cleared up when I went swimming (don't ask me how). The only difference in all of these piercings was our personal level of cleanliness. Me and the girl who pierced mine were fanatic about it. The friend who had her's come out was not a clean girl. Their house wasn't clean and she didn't take care of it. ALL three of us did it without our parents consent cause they all told us no. Where there's a will there's a way. I hid mine from my dad (I was living with him at the time) until I moved. He still didn't know about it until about a year ago and I have had it for over three. I know you don't want to let them but maybe set an age or situation (like as a gift) and then RESEARCH for someone who does it best and has a stellar reputation and experience. If you are sticking with not til they are 18 tell them you will think about it for a certain amount of time and until then leave you alone or you will say no again.







My parents did that often and it usually worked.


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## lilsishomemade (Feb 12, 2005)

I guess I don't put piercings and tattoos in the same category. A piercing can heal. A tattoo won't go away. I won't sign for a tattoo for my children. They can wait. But, I don't see a belly button ring as a body-altering event. Heck, my tongue was pierced, and the hole was even stretched a little, but it's gone now. No problems. My brother has had his eyebrow and labret pierced, you can't even tell.

Oh, and kids used to pierce each other at lunch at my first high school. I sat there and watched one girl pierce her lip and labret with a straight pin. It's true, where there's a will, there's a way.


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## Curious Me (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *allgirls*
My 11 year old just pierced the cartilage in her ear herself...honestly...I am tired of this battle...I think I will buy some piercing equipment and poke holes in them until they leak like a colander...


:LOL


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## moma justice (Aug 16, 2003)

i pierced my belly 14-13 with a safety pin! yuck
i have a scar (much bigger after pregnancy!) and it got infected adn hurt etc...

i never even though tto ask my mom or dad, i knew they probably would nto like it, but as with other things, it was my body and they pretty much respected that.

and my parents were the types to really (even if they hide it by acting a little mad or fustrated) pretty thankful that it could be somuch worse...

i had long beautiful hair for most of my life then at 13 shaved the whole bottom part of my head at a slumber party.

nirvana and grunge had just gotten big and i felt really alt. cluture wanna be.

my mom and dad were like, i think it looks ugly, but it is your head....(years after my mom said, "at that point you thought boys were still gross and i sometimes found you with your dolls, i was just glad it was shaving your head instead of becoming sexualy active....kids ARE going to assert themselves in one way or another")


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## supersarahmommy (Jun 22, 2004)

I had mine done when I was 18. I didn't do it in order to look sexy. It was just something that was fun to do. I really wasn't much of a middrift barer anyway.

Showing off your skin seems more the problem than the piercing and/or reasoning behind your actions. If the color red was the reason they bought a red dress, then that is as much of a problem, in some ways--imho.... I'm just a mom of a 13monthold and can't imagine her being a teenager!!!!


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## jaidymama (Jun 18, 2005)

Ok, so I had my belly pierced many years ago and liked it. No one really saw it except for me, and I had to take it out when I was pregnant with ds. It's been out for over a year, and I don't miss it. Other than that I have only had to deal with this issue with a few kids at a group home where I worked. Basically we worked with them to make good decisions and become responsible adults... it's truly a matter of them doing the research... pricing, safety, healing, and even looking at their own motivation... this isn't always easy, but it does put them in the position of being able to make the decision as long as it is an INFORMED decision. If your girls aren't willing to do the research then maybe you could play up on their responsibility side. I was curious to know who would be paying for it... mine cost a lot of money IMO. So that could be an issue that they would need to come up with the money, or are you planning to pay for it?

Regardless, I don't think you should cave into their constant arguing about it. But you probably don't want this disagreement to continue... develop a plan with your dh about how, when or if your dds could ever have their bellies pierced. Perhaps bring dds in on the decision making... (i.e. you can have it done in ?timeframe-6mo? and you will need to do x,y,z first.)

If you absolutely don't want them to do it, set some ground rules so they will stop bugging you. Talk to them to find out if there is a bigger issue behind it... like trying to fit in with a certain group or trying to impress a guy. Also, find out if there is something else they may want that you can agree to... some other kind of jewelry, a vacation, cell phones, concert tickets??? Just brainstorming here.

Bottom line, I think it's great that they have involved you in this decision they are wanting to make... the fact that they asked is a good thing. Be prepared if they do go behind your back and have it done. Although it may not comfort you, it's not the worst thing they could potentially do to their bodies. Good luck!


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## karinasusy (Jul 12, 2005)

I have a bellybutton piercing and a couple tattoos, and of them all, I don't "really" like the bellybutton piercing. It was cute when I weighed 120 pounds, before I was pregnant. Then with pregnancy the hole stretched, so it doesn't look "neat" anymore, especially with my flabbier belly. Women need to consider pregnancy before getting anything done around the belly area, because everything will stretch. Piercing nipples is another issue, because it might effect breastfeeding.

I got my piercing professionally done at 25 (no Department Store hole punches, which are unsanitary, bad for ear piercings too), after a great deal of thought, but it nevertheless is my least favourite body art. It did take a number of months to heal, with a few infections, and I still clean and turn the ring every day. I keep the ring in (I have a gold one) because I think it's nicer than an ugly hole.

I'm not really a big fan of body piercing, because even though you can take the ring out, there will always be a mark.

IMO, If you are not okay with this, then they will have to wait until they can get it done for themselves at 18 or whenever. Really, what's the rush? A little patience and a lot of thought goes a long way. I wanted my nose pierced when I was a teenager and I am so thankful that I never got it done (I would have a visible hole in my nose).

On the other hand, I love tattoos. A lot of thought went into subject and location. The pictures are beautiful and nice to look at. I get compliments all the time.


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## JustVanessa (Sep 7, 2005)

My mother made me wait until I was 18 before doing any body modifications. I respected her descision but when I turned 18 I went a little wild. A bellybutton ring is not the end of the world and for me it was by far the most painful peircing I had (compared to ears, tongue, nose and eyebrow). It is also the only one that I got that stuck around....even through my pregnancy. All I can say, if it was my dd I would let her do it....and hope that the fasination ends there.
Not 7 piercings and 2 tatoos later


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## eqleslie (May 4, 2004)

I had mine pierced when I was 16. I liked it for a while but then the coolness of it wore off. I took it out after a couple of years because I was tired of it catching on things. Just on a side note when I went to see my kinesiologist (sp) she told me she was glad I took it out because piercings on the midline of the body (navel, tongue, etc.) interrupt the normal flow of whatever it is that flows around your body. I also have a really huge and ugly stretch mark coming out from the piercing from when I was pregnant. (Note, I had taken the ring out years before I got pregnant and it still did this)


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## Hera (Feb 4, 2002)

I'll email you a picture of my scar, if it would help your case any....

I really wanted this piercing to work, but it never healed properly and now I have two bellybuttons.

OK, it isn't that drastic, but it's an ugly red scar that I wish I didn't have. I found it to be uncomfortable, difficult to heal, hard to find pants that work (and eventually low-rise will be passe)... All things considered, it was a bad decision.

I'm not anti-piercing as a rule, but to do over again I'd choose not to have this scar.


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## HerthElde (Sep 18, 2003)

My naval ring was definitely more painful to get than my tongue ring. That said, I would let them do it, say, in 6 months IF they write you some kind of essay showing they've truly done research on it. Maybe. Actually, if it was my dd, I'd just let her do it







I don't have my tongue ring anymore because I accidentally swallowed the ball and didn't have a backup and didn't get a new one until it was too late. I'm sort of considering getting it redone, but I'm worried about problems going through scar tissue. I took my naval ring out when dd started getting to an age where she insisted on playing with it while nursing (OUCH!). I have stretch marks surrounding where it was - they were the first ones I got during pg and I thought they were because of the ring until I saw my moms belly and she's got the exact same marks in the same place.
In regards to the thongs - I've been wearing them since I was probably about 14 because they're COMFIER!!! You're gonna get a wedgie anyway, it might as well be with less material.


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## HerthElde (Sep 18, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eqleslie*
Just on a side note when I went to see my kinesiologist (sp) she told me she was glad I took it out because piercings on the midline of the body (navel, tongue, etc.) interrupt the normal flow of whatever it is that flows around your body.

That's a good point - it's probably worth it for them to try and find out how it might affect them energetically. I think it's an Ayurvedic philosophy, for example, that says a piercing on the left side of the nose helps with hormone problems like PMS and even in labour. When I got mine pierced, it was in the wrong spot (the piercer picked the spot, not me - I know now that I should have) and it played havoc with the energy flow in my body.


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## Emzachsmama (Apr 30, 2004)

My daughter (age 10) mentioned the other day that she would like to get her bb pierced. I told her that our rule is no piercings besides ears (maximum 2 holes) until she is at least 16...and at that point we will discuss it. We didn't promise that she could get it done at 16, just that we would talk about it.

Absolutely no tattoes until she is 18. Once she is old enough that she doesn't need a signature from a parent then she can get what she wants done but until then...no ink.


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## Miss Kitty (Jan 30, 2003)

I told my daughter last year if she made honor roll the first quarter she could have her navel pierced. I explained to her that it was and area she could choose appropriate times to display and times to cover.
Since she could control when it showed it was ok with me. Unlike her face. I told her nothing on her face or nipple until she was an adult living on her own, paying her own bills. She agreed to it.
She made honor roll, she went and had it done, she has taken care of it. I believe there are only a small handfull of people that have seen it. She doesn't wear midrif tops.
I have to pick my battles carefully and this was one I let her win and I'm glad I did.







It is very cute and she is very tasteful when and where it shows. Lesson learned!


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## jrayn (Jul 6, 2005)

I pierced my belly button after my dad said no, although mine didn't get infected my friend's did, she had to go to the doctor, my dad didn't find out until months later, so depending on you daughters' personality, it may be in her best interest healthwise for you to be the one to cave in - sorry, I now have a 9 month old and will have to go through this one day - who knows it may be worse by then whatever the trends will be...


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## trmpetplaya (May 30, 2005)

ITA with making sure that they do research and are serious about it first. Same goes with the road trip. If they want to be trusted to have bb piercings or go across country then they need to prove they are ready by preparing for it! If they can do the research and are serious about it then I see no reason why you shouldn't let them do both. If they can't research or be serious about it and it's just another thing for them to nitpick and whine about then I wouldn't let them. It's certainly not unreasonable to expect them to take responsibility for decisions that you allow them to make while they live with you rent/bill free. I also think that you should discuss payment with them as well. If they don't do the research and are not willing to take responsibility then they aren't old enough to do it!

love and peace.


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## oksya (Sep 26, 2005)

:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red*
Ugh! My two 15 yo twins dd wish to pierce their belly bouttons. I am totally aginst this.

I think it looks really sexy,







and I don't want _them_ to look sexy! I think on some teens it looks slutty, like when a 10 yo wears loads of make-up and inappropriate clothing.

Also, I did some research before I said 'no' and found they easily infect and are hard to heal. In fact, they are supposed to be teh most dangerous of all piercings!

I said, when you're 18 you can pierce anythign you want. The usually mellow one is the one fighting me on this. SHe wants to argue about it EVERY DAY. The usual...it's HER body, she wants to, why not, but what if...

Personally, I think it's just something to argue about. I remember asking my mother, when I was 14 if I could smoke. I was already to drive her crazy, but she said yes. Took the wind out of my sails. Unfortunately, I was stubborn, so I felt I had to smoke now, and did for ten years, causing me endless bouts of bronchitis,e tc.

I think Iif I say yes, she'll pierce it, and find something else to nag me about. My DH is weakening, he's tired and she's relentless. (I'll kill him if he caves, though!)

Any ideas? ANy ways to try and change her mind, or just SHUT HER UP? I'm starting to feel like this...










I don't like it really! Ithink it is very vulgar!


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## Llyra (Jan 16, 2005)

I had mine done when I was 19. I never had any problems with infections or anything, and it healed cleanly, but then again I was neurotic about keeping it clean. It WAS incredibly painful. I've had my ears pierced 7 times, and my belly button piercing hurt WAY more than all of those put together.

Also, it healed a little TOO cleanly. I took the ring out when I was pregnant, and I haven't put it back in. I don't have the cute, flat belly I had when I was 19 anymore, alas, and it just looks gross on me now. Trouble is, the hole won't close (DD is 13 months old now, so it's been almost two years since the ring was out) and the empty hole fills up with all this gunk and it has to be cleaned really carefully or it starts to smell funky. It's a real pain in the neck and kinda gross. I regret now ever doing it.

I would probably say no to a kid under 15 or 16 who wanted to have it done. Then again, if my mom had said no to me at that age I would probably have gone and found a way to get it done anyway, and hid it from her, which would have been a lot less safe. So I really don't know.


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## Zipporah (Feb 22, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oksya*







:

I don't like it really! Ithink it is very vulgar!

This is really a very ethnically offensive thing to say, as bellybutton piercing is a form of body-beautification that is an ancient and culturally important practice in the Middle East and India. I know these things are commonly perceived in the Western world as "fads" or whatever, but almost all body-mods are borrowed from ancient traditions practiced by people all around the world and through various times throughout history. For example, nipple piercing was originally practiced by Roman centurions who clipped their cloaks to the rings. And tattooing is the most ancient form of body-beautification which was practiced by prehistoric Europeans, the ancient Egyptians, the Picts of pre-Celtic Ireland, the Japanese, Southeast Asians, South American indigenous nations, and all Polynesian peoples. The perception of tattooing and piercing as "vulgar" and "low-class" is a hangover from the days when the only Westerners doing these things were sailors who became acquainted with them during their sojourns with these cultures. However, on a deeper level, it also includes a very pervasive undercurrent of racism. They are practices associated with "primitives" and "savages", which is a large part of why they make certain people uncomfortable when seen on so-called "civilized" white folks. Tattooing and piercing, IMO, should be respected and in fact treasured as the beautiful cultural art forms that they are, and practiced with an awareness of their ancient and rich history.


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

I have 7 tattoos and currently 2 piercings other than my ears. In the past I've had a belly button ring, and eyebrow ring, nipple rings, a nosering, and the webbing between my my thumb and first finger pierced. Now I only have a tongue ring and a labret--I definitely like body art. However, I don't think piercings are appropriate for 15 year olds because their bodies aren't finished growing.

I pierced my own belly button when I was, hmmm, in 8th grade so I guess I was about 12 or 13 without permission. The next year I gained a little bit of weight (only about 10 lbs) and somehow or another the jewelry got sucked down into the hole. I was wearing one of the banana bell things and it just went into the skin. I almost had to go to the ER to get it removed, but Mom managed to get it out with tweezers and a needle--OUCH! Now I have an ugly scar that only gets uglier with each pregnancy.


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## 2Sweeties1Angel (Jan 30, 2006)

I forgot to mention that I did pierce it with professional equipment (hollow needle), not a safety pin or anything--and it healed really well with minimal pain. I can only assume that it was sucked into my skin because I had a growth spurt and weight gain. The same thing happened to a friend when she became pregnant, but her's was pierced at a tattoo parlor by a professional.


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## Shann (Dec 19, 2003)

If I had daughters at age 15, I would MOST DEFINITELY let them get naval piercings! I think they are great, and I would not stop my girls (if I had girls) from gettingthem.


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## caffeine_kittie (Feb 24, 2006)

i dont agree with this belly piercing.
tell them to wait until they are *18*....
by that time they are allowed and free to do things they wanna do to their body.

at the end of the day,it's still *YOU* who will decide. you have all the power coz ur their Mom.


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

My 15 year old DD wants hers done so badly. I refuse to let her do it. Reason, She isnt responsible enough to care for it. If she showed me she can take responsiblity for things I may be more apt to say ok lets go do it. I think you need to know your kid. For me its not an age thing really, its a maturity level. She cant pick up her socks, or clean out a dish let alone keep her naval clean after peircing. For years she begged and begged to get her cartlage on her ear done, finally we let her do it and well she never cared for it and it got infected and she let it close up. I am not playing 60 bucks for something to get infected, and then close up lol.


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## JulietF (Mar 1, 2006)

LOL it must be a 15 yr old girl thing. My 15 yr old has been pestering me to let her get a real nose ring, tattoos, etc. I simply say no, because I am glad I wasn't allowed to chase every wild hair when I was that age. Soon enough she can, but seeing as she changes her mind about her appearance on a daily basis I figure some stability is not a bad idea. She can let her creativity out in other ways, like music, art, etc. Plus every now and then I allow for a pink streak or so in her hair. That grows out and by the time it does she is bored with it anyhow!


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## sunnybear (Nov 18, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Red*
Also, I did some research before I said 'no' and found they easily infect and are hard to heal. In fact, they are supposed to be teh most dangerous of all piercings!

I agree with those who say that it's maturity, rather then age, that should dictate whether or not someone should get pierced. My mother took me to get my first piercing at 16 (and I had no problems caring for it), and was supportive when I started getting tattoos at 18 (and no, I don't regret them one bit). I also believe that having correct information is important. Belly rings are definitely not the most dangerous piercing to get. Out of curiosity, what reasoning did your research give for deeming them the "most dangerous of all piercings?" That makes me think that person doesn't know much about piercings (very deep piercings and surface piercings carry far more risk because of the much higher rate of rejection and other complications). The worst thing I've heard about them is that waistbands can rub against them. ANY piercing will easily get infected and not heal well if it's not taken care of properly. I've had 11 piercings excluding my ears, currently have 7 and five tattoos, so I've spent a good amount of time researching, talking to different artists, etc. There is a very informative site that provides good information about a wide range of body modifications that I can PM you the URL if you're interested.

Quote:

Piercing nipples is another issue, because it might effect breastfeeding.
I was concerned about my nipple rings, but so far it hasn't effected breastfeeding at all. Of course other women can have different experiences, but it's been fine for me.

Quote:

Tattooing and piercing, IMO, should be respected and in fact treasured as the beautiful cultural art forms that they are, and practiced with an awareness of their ancient and rich history.
Yes!


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## caffeine_kittie (Feb 24, 2006)

Kids today...
*shakes head*


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## Earthy Mama (Jun 4, 2004)

I'm not going to tell you to let them do it, but if it were me, I would most definitely take them to get it professionally and safely done. I pierced mine when I was 14 (with safety pin) and it snagged on my pants and ripped out because I didn't get enough skin. I also got a nasty infection.

If/when my dds come to me and ask to get a piercing/tattoo, I'll ask them to think about it for a month. If they are still interested, I'll take them (they'll have to pay of course).

But, if you don't want them to, that's your right. Just be wary that self-piercing may come up...


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## LIZnCHAD (Jan 6, 2006)

If you thinkshe is mature enough to take care of it properly, do the research, and pay for it, then I say go for it. I wanted mine done at 15 and my parents wouldn't let me no matter how much I begged. I did it myself with ice and a safety pin so of course it got infected even tho I sterilized everything and took care of it like I should. Eventually my parents found out and made me take it out. Then I turned 16 and got it done professionally (again w/out my parents permission. They found out again but let me keep it. It got infected again so I took it out. I'm now contemplating getting it done one more time but I might wait til I'm done having kids.


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## earthflower (Jan 9, 2006)

I did on my 16th bday i loved it!







l


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

Listen to her arguments, but please dont let them get pierced until they can sign for themselves. Every piercing is different, but I have to agree that navels are VERY hard to properly take care of. Mine grew out twice before I have upon it, and I have a nice big ugly scar to show for it - but - I was old enough and I waited three years and educated myself properly.

First of all, chosing a piercer is a big responsibility. Do they know what an autoclave is? Do they know what questions to ask to see if the piercer is clean/knowledgeable? There are a LOT of hack jobs out there and it is SCARY.

You might ask them to write you an essay about how they can choose a respectable piercer. The respectable piercing community won't pierce a minor with or without consent, and if they do their research properly, they may find this out for themselves. This doesnt mean you have to give in either, just makes sure that when the time comes, they are knowledgeable enough to choose their own respectable shop and piercer.









In my house it was NO... not until you can sign for yourself. And I used the time that I was waiting to think hard about the piercing, research it, and commit to the fact that yes, piercings go wrong and yes, my body might be marred because of it. Im okay with my scars, your daughters might not.


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

Oh and if your daughters threaten to pierce it themselves, please show them some literature about how stupid and dangerous that is, and dont let it sway you.

Piercing needles are half-hollow needles designed to form a sheath of skin around the jewelry (surgical stainless steel is SAFEST and all I put in my body). Safety pins and nails and (yuck) piercing guns shove a blunt piece of metal through flesh and just "pushes" everything out of the way, creating a jagged, tight, uncomfortable hole in the body.
When a piece becomes infected a respectable piercer will tell you to leave the jewelry in as it acts as a drain. Taking it out will trap the infection and make it worse.
Also remember that (GOOD!) piercers know what to do when things like infections and keloids happen. A doctor is not taught to tell the difference between normal weeping and an infection in a piercing, as they can look very similar, or a blowout and a keloid, which can look similar, etc. etc. so you see you are placing a great amount of faith in the piercer you choose. Please be careful, piercings are a very sticky topic.


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## Tinas3muskateers (May 19, 2004)

They had a report on the local news here about this very subject. I was not aware how lacked the laws are on tattooing and peircing. Really there are NONE and pretty much they are on their own. Scary thought! I do not think kids understand the magnatude of getting something like this done.


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## LivVLW (Sep 15, 2004)

Zipporah~





























So well spoken!! Thanks for that!









Liv


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## Organicavocado (Mar 15, 2006)

She's right, a lot of studios will pierce a minor without consent. And the kids who go there? Shouldnt have them. I would only trust a piercer who refuses to pierce a minor with or without consent. I still go to piercers who have a no-consent rule, so Im supporting the right kind of shop.


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## Zipporah (Feb 22, 2005)

On a personal note, i got my bellybutton pierced when i was 16 without my parents' consent or knowledge. By that point i had already left home b/c of their refusal to allow me the freedom i desired in my life. The place i went to did not require consent but was reputable and highly esteemed by those in the know. I never had any problems with it at all and still love it. It is a part of me, and i would feel like something was missing without it. I also got my nose pierced that same year, but have not worn anything in it for a few years now.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *red*
I am totally aginst this.

That's your answer right there in your own post.







: If you are totally against it then that should be it, end of discussion, period. I won't agree to let my daughter have her naval pierced at that age. I dread the day she wants her ears pierced, to be totally honest. She can get other stuff done (tattoos included) once she is 18 and declared an adult.


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## ecoteat (Mar 3, 2006)

I'm not a mom yet (8 weeks to go!), but I would let them do it. If you are overseeing it and helping them be responsible with care and healing, they'll be better off. Also, when they get tired of it (and they will someday), they just take it out and have a tiny hole in their skin--no biggie.


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## MillingNome (Nov 18, 2005)

LOL- my dd begged to get her ears pierced. After two years after of it, I finally gave in and guess what... They got infected and she did not take proper care of them. I told her what to do but she had other ideas. The studs came out when they should have but she refused to to use them after her ppiercing got infected. She ended up letting them close. And no, this is not one of those self-filling prophesies. I made he wait until I thought she could take care of them. I told her she had my full confidence too. I'll let her have another shot at it in the summer though









I guess as her mother, you're entitled to say no- just be able to back up why. And of course, there's always the old stand by: When you turn 18, you can...


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## nolonger (Jan 18, 2006)

My dd just had her lip pierced for her seventeenth birthday present. I made her wait about six months and do a ton of internet research to answer my questions, but I chose the shop, drove her there, picked the jewelry, and footed the bill.

I did the same with her nostril piercing except that she had to wait a whole year from "Can I have my nostril pierced?" to "I love it! Thanks, Mom."

A friend went the "when you're 18" route and her daughter got her nostril pierced on her 18th birthday by a poorly trained piercer who used a needle that was too large and made comments about the girl's body that I consider to be sexual harassment.

Another friend who went the "when you're 18" route had to take a 12 year old to the emergency room when she tried to pierce her own eyebrow.

I'm not a "cool mom", I'm an overprotective mom who knows that as long as they have it done when they're minors, I have the power to make sure that it's done right.


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## Miss Kitty (Jan 30, 2003)

I do not believe my daughter looks "vulgar" and I resent the comment.







:
I totally agree with Zipporah that it is a racist and inappropriate statement. You are certainly entitled to your opinion but I would be very careful to whom I made such a statement.


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## mz_libbie22 (Nov 8, 2004)

I would let her do it. Teenagers have a right to their own bodies and they have a right to make decisions regarding their bodies even if they could end up feeling regret. Try to imagine the kind of resentment that she feels being told she has no right to do what she wants to with her own body. Would you like someone making those kind of decisions for you? I don't think a belly ring is a big deal at all, but then again I have one.







And it's the only piercing that I still have (used to have my tongue and septum pierced). It never got infected and wasn't hard to care for at all.


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## understandingmom (Apr 16, 2005)

My kids are far from that age yet, but I know when they get there, I will let them express themselves a little bit more. If they want to pierce something, I may let it pass, only because I know it will only be for a couple of years, once they get into a REAL life, they will let go of those wild expressions. I know that there are some that continue with doing that sort of thing, but really I am not frightened that it means anything.


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## mommy68 (Mar 13, 2006)

I'm amazed at all the parents in here that are talking about their kids like it's a rite of passage to do all the weird teenage stuff that ALL the other teens are doing.







: It is not part of being a kid to want a piercing. I won't believe that. It IS a fact that teens want to do certain things because their freiends are doing it though. What will be next, smoking pot as long as it's in your house? or better yet having sex as long as it's in their room where they are safe? Give me a break. They have their whole life to make decisions for themselves, they are under 18 and still children.

You're the parent and if you say you don't want them to do it then don't let them do it, enough said.







My kids can do something like that all they want once they're 18 and they've thought about it for a while and know what they are doing as adults.

I think that younger than 18 the kids do the tattoos and piercings simply because everyone else is doing it and I'm sorry but that's not a good enough reason for me to approve of it.


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## darkpear (Jul 22, 2003)

18 isn't a magic cut-off. People over 18 do things out of peer pressure too, and people under 18 can have a sincere and valid desire to do things without peer pressure playing a role. I think that kids who have some age-appropriate autonomy are likely to do better with real autonomy once they have it.

No, it's not necessarily 'part of being a kid.' Some people are into body mod, some aren't, and a piercing can be a perfectly reasonable place to start, especially if parents are there to give help and guidance. Insisting on research, careful piercer selection and proper aftercare (as several PPs have mentioned) is a great idea. Putting your foot down hard is unlikely to end well.


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## Malva (Nov 2, 2005)

I wouldn't fight it. I mean, my own navel is pierced and it's no worse than earrings to me. Never got infected either and wore it through 2 pregnancies. One of my friend on the other hand, took hers out after about a year because it kept getting infected.


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## huggerwocky (Jun 21, 2004)

I can totlaly understand. if my daughter wants this I will just have to repeat my mantra which would be : I'm not willing to take the risk, you can do it when you're 18. And that's how I really feel about it. I will not take the responsibility but I have it until she's 18.


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## MissAbbyRosesMamma (Apr 28, 2006)

i dont think its racist. i do cringe at the thought of anyone clipping anything to my nipple rings however. for me the belly ring healed the fastest. i am nuerotic with my piercings and tattoos-all of them. i dont think you should limit your child from things they want to do. piercings can be taken out and close. tattoos, they will probably get anyway and if you take them at least you know its a good place, as someone whose willing to tattoo or pierce someone under the legal age may not be the most sterile-Not all are! but ya have to think...

i still live at home and after i had my belly button and industrial done i was told no more or id get kicked out. so i got things you couldnt see pierced. its a form of expression, not a fad to me.
after my first tattoo i was told no more or id get kicked out, also! i have 11. they are all hidden, and all have deep meaning to me. if nothing else they are representative of people and events in my life that are important.

talk to your children and see the reasoning behind the piercing


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## dynamicdoula (Jun 11, 2004)

DH and I just discussed this last night, actually.

We agreed that the boys can have any piercing they want when they are ready to a) pay for it and b) take care of it. No staple punching or stretched piercings until after they're 18, but if they want their ears, brows, noses, whatever pierced- I don't care. As long as it can be taken out and grow back - pierce away!









I feel the same way for a girl. Lots of girls have belly piercings and don't have their tummies hanging out. It does look sexy (IMO) but it's not like f*ck-me boots or tiny skirts or gaudy make up. It can be sexy and classy at the same time (again, MO). I think girls should be taught about their power as a sexual being and getting that piercing might be a way for her to claim that part of herself in a way that doesn't require her to 'test out' her powers on boys. LOL That's a whole separate topic I guess.









I'd make them pay for it and research it before I'd agree, but then I'd find the best studio in town and I'd go with them when it was being done.


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