# my toddler is obsessed with masturbating; I'm a little concerned



## MichelleS (May 18, 2005)

My DD, 27 months, has discovered masturbation with a vengeance. She does it maybe twice a day. Usually at nap and bed time. And sometimes, just because she feels like it.
Can anyone advise me on this? I understand that it's perfectly natural, and she is doing it because it feels good and is comforting to her. I'm just wondering if it's a good idea for her to become dependent on it to fall asleep?
Any feedback appreciated.


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## ceay05 (Oct 9, 2006)

She is just exploring, not really masturbating. I wouldn't worry too much unless she starts doing it in front of people or in public. Too many sickos would get the wrong idea.


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## PrennaMama (Oct 10, 2005)

A dear friend of mine went thru this, too, to the point where her dd would go stiff, turn red and break into a sweat and then collapse... I am all for exploration, but there comes a point where it isn't just exploration anymore... she has realized it _feels good_.

My advice? Encourage her to only do this in private, that this something that is _only_ done in private, by herself... and when you discuss it with her, try to remember not to shame her about it.


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## J-Max (Sep 25, 2003)

We just say, "It is ok to touch your privates, but we only do that in our bedrooms or the bathroom. Now do you want to go in your room or come wash your hands and do______ instead?" This is said very calmly and matter of factly, no shaming or punishing. They catch on very fast (and I have had them say they want to go touch themselves in their room







) .It is also great when then see dad scratching himself and tell him that we only do that in our rooms or the bathroom


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## Kailey's mom (Apr 19, 2007)

Are you sure she doesn't have a rash or infection?


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## KMK_Mama (Jan 29, 2006)

I could have written your post!









My DD started doing this very young...about 9 months. She is now almost 5 and is still doing it with a vengeance. She moans, groans, turns red....I actually think she is climaxing. We tell her to do it in her room, but she doesn't always listen. At least she doesn't do it at the store anymore! And I was very worried she would do it at pre-school, but I never got a call......The doc assured me it was normal, but my other DD has never touched herself. I was also worried it was some type of rash or yeast infection, but the doc assured us it was not. I must tell her to do it in her room about 25 times a day.







:


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## BlueStateMama (Apr 12, 2004)

OMG, same here!!! DD is just over two and is always going for it. Seriously, she knows *exactly* what to touch and gets all red in her face, shakes and makes a little groaning noise. I'm a pretty sexually liberated woman and even I am not sure what to do. (Poor DH, he's completely embarassed and not quite sure how to handle it







)

She tends to do it when I change her dipe..and while I do not want to physically pull her hands out (or ever shame her in any way) I honestly get sick of waiting there and waiting for her to "finish." She's waaaay to young to "get" the concept of privacy...so I gently try to distract, or just wrap things up (Me (cheerfully) "OK! Time to shut the dipe! All done sweetie?" )

Seriously, I don't know quite how to handle this. It's a fine line between letting her have autonomy over her body and standing there, waiting for her to finish masturbating. And yes, I thought 2 year olds were INCAPABLE of masturbation until I came across DD.


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## MichelleS (May 18, 2005)

We co-sleep, so I can't tell her that she has to do it in HER room. And it's not (thankfully) something that she does anywhere but the bedroom.
She is rash free, no UTI's, or infections, and is just enjoying herself.
Again, it's not something that bothers me, I'm just concerned that she'll equate it with falling asleep, and that, actually, is what worries me. Bedtime is difficult enough around here most days!


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## titania8 (Feb 15, 2007)

when i taught preschool we had a few kids who would do it at every nap. and one who would position herself and sort of 'airplane' on the corners and edges of playground equipment. i don't know if it is anything to really be concerned about, or if there is anything you can do to gently stop her since its when she is going to sleep. heck, if it helps her sleep...







:


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## Jenelle (Mar 12, 2004)

Wow. I don't ever, ever, remember doing this as a child. I am amazed by these posts. I never knew anything about that spot whatsoever until 8th grade.







I do remember my sister telling me a story about my niece "discovering" that it feels good down there -- but it wasn't encouraged -- and there was certainly no turning red, going stiff, or _climaxing_ going on. Wow.


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## CountrylivinmomtoB (Oct 12, 2006)

My DD doesn't do that, but she does like to touch herself. If she's running around naked, her fingers are always done there, not rubbing or anything, just touching it. But I have heard of kids doing that. So it is normal!


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## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

My daughter is 25 months and has been "humping" stuffed animals since she was about six months old. She mostly does it when she trying to get to sleep or wake up in the morning.







: I think it's normal. It's just a little animal urge.


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## operamommy (Nov 9, 2004)

I was reading about this in my Dr. Sears Discipline book the other day. I *think* he mentioned a case where an older child masturbated so often that she made herself sore, and he and the parents discovered that she was using it as a relaxation technique before bed. From what I recall they simply introduced other relaxation techniques and the frequency went down quite a bit.


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## mkatco (Jul 24, 2008)

I realize this is an old thread - but I found this Dr Sears article on the subject and thought it may help those currently dealing with this issue..

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/pa...ent/sexuality/masturbation-six-ways-manage-it


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