# Fine! I wont talk about it anymore!



## KelliHope (Oct 29, 2007)

RRRRRRRRRRR GRRRRRR

I just got a PM from the administrator of a message board I have been on for over a year - just a general board about life in general. She said that I was talking about my m/c too much and that it was bringing other people down, and "tainting" other discussions.

Well. . . sorry! I joined that board to talk with other people about what is going on in my life, and um, hi! This is what's going on right now. I had a m/c, I'm dealing with it. And basically, there isn't anything else going on in my life right now. I'm not working, nothing exciting is happening. So that's what I have to talk about.

The thing that made her write to me was that a woman posted a question about how long to wait after coming off BC to TTC. She wondered if there could be any side effects from getting pregnant too soon. An alternative doctor that I see told me that it is possible that my MC happened b/c I was too soon off the pill and that my hormones might not be sorted out yet. So I wrote that in the post to this woman, I told her I didn't know how common that kind of thing is, or if it was even why it happened. But I felt like if someone knew a way that I could have prevented my m/c I would have wanted to know, YK?

Was I wrong to post that? Am I wrong to talk about it?

She said I mentioned it in almost every post I post. . . well I'm trying to think of the last posts I've posted, and they have been in my pregnancy journal - which should be fine, in a post about another woman who was dealing with her m/c, a weightloss post about how i had gained all sorts of weight, during the preg, then after my m/c, I can't think of anywhere else I posted about it.

GRRRR I'm so mad. Should I be, or am I out of line???


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## kristinc (Jan 25, 2007)

it seems completely out of line to me.







: that is what commmunity boards are for. i would leave that community asap as it does not sound like a supportive place to be. everyone grieves at their own pace and they have no right to tell you are grieveing too much. some people are so insensitive







i think i would give them a piece of my mind and then never look back.


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## robertsmama (Jan 20, 2007)

I totally agree with the PP. You have enough to try to deal with, without having to worry about whether or not you are dealing "too much" with your reality and upsetting others with it. You certainly don't need a bunch of insensitive buffoons making you feel even worse!!







: I'd say goodbye to that group, but also make it perfectly clear why you feel the need to find a more supportive group. It might make a few people really think about how they are interacting with others. So sorry for your loss, and also that you have to deal with this situation on top of it.


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## mommyfied (Jun 25, 2007)

I think it was out of line. I'm sorry you have to worry about this too.


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## onyxravnos (Dec 30, 2006)

i agree with what the PP said.
if people don't want to read your posts that's their choice. she had no right to say anything like that to you.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

It doesn't sound like a very nice place to be if you can't talk about what is going on in your life. You aren't trying to bring down anyone, that's just silly of her to even say something like that.







:


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kristinc* 
it seems completely out of line to me.







: that is what commmunity boards are for. i would leave that community asap as it does not sound like a supportive place to be. everyone grieves at their own pace and they have no right to tell you are grieveing too much. some people are so insensitive







i think i would give them a piece of my mind and then never look back.









:








You are very welcome here. I have gotten so much support this week from this forum (I found out my baby had died on Sunday).


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## zonapellucida (Jul 16, 2004)

I think the mod is highly insensitive and that board not a place I would want to be.







to you and talk away!


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## meredyth0315 (Aug 16, 2007)

How dare her??!!! There is no reason for anyone to react that way. Especially when you were trying to help someone when you've gone through something so difficult. You are more than welcome to talk as much as you like about it here. We all have been there and want you to heal & try and get through it mama. I say leave that board behind and don't look back


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## Blu Razzberri (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meredyth0315* 
How dare her??!!!...









: and














Un-freakin-believable. She's definitely a UA violation. I'd be tempted to give her a piece of my mind.









I'm sorry for your loss







and I wish you love and light as you continue on your journey of healing.


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## WaturMama (Oct 6, 2006)

Oh that would really piss me off. It does just hearing about it. As a PP said, if people don't want to read your posts...they don't have to. This so isn't what a grieving person needs.

If you leave that board (which makes sense to me but I don't know your whole history with it and what it means to you) I would post something before you leave so that others (many of whom undoubtedly don't share the mod's opinion) know why you are leaving and what is going on.


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## savannah smiles (May 4, 2004)

Wow, that really sucks! Talk about kicking someone when they're down. On a board I tend to lurk on more than post, there was a big to-do about moms who post pictures of their stillborn babies in their siggys or avatars. Some people thought they were disgusting.







While I understand the subject of m/c or stillborn babies might make others uncomfortable, they have to option to STOP READING. I don't think it's ok to try and shut up someone who's grieving.


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## i0lanthe (Aug 1, 2005)

I agree that's kind of an insensitive thing to say... "you're posting about x too much" sounds to me like something to say to someone who is spamming about their new business, not coming to terms with a loss. Unless the board charter is about "all the happy things that happen in life; no sad events, vents or prayer requests please" then how can it not be out of line to tell someone that? :/


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## fierrbugg (Jul 24, 2006)

First







- that's absolutely not something you need to deal with right now.

I'm giving you a whole handful of Jeeter Beans to pelt at her head. (see the link to the Loss Dictionary at KotaPress to see what I'm talking about - I know violence doesn't solve anything, but sometimes it calms.)

And like the lovely ladies have already said - please feel free to come here and talk as much as you want, as often as you need to.


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## Olerica (Nov 19, 2007)

I think that it stinks to be a part of a community and not be allowed to express what is going on in your life. You deserve support and at least this monitor is not doing it. (Do others support you?)

In no way amd I being this devil's advocate, but it sounds like her response is akin to that of a person who has not delt with their own loss - or was unsupported in that loss. I'm glad that you are participating here and that we can support you.


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## KelliHope (Oct 29, 2007)

thank you ladies for sticking up for me, I really appreciate it.
I have decided to leave the board, at least for now. There are several other girls TTC on there right now and I really don't want to be having to chose my words carefully so not to piss anyone off. I'm thinking that I wont go back until I am pregnant again and through the 1st trimester. Or maybe not at all.
Its great to be somewhere where people get you! THanks


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