# s/o: WWYD: smoking parent at the playground



## littlecityfarmer (Apr 27, 2004)

I didn't want to hijack the other thread, but had a similar situation of my own a week or two ago...

I brought my LOs (4.5, almost 3, 7 mo.) to a nice park a good hike from home (it was a lovely day for a long walk and picnic). Several other families were there. One family had parked their van right next to the swings (parking area was up the hill), and several adults (mom and grandparents, I gathered) were playing with a few toddlers.

Grandma lit up a cigarette, and DS asked me why some grownups smoke cigarettes. DS and I hada quick chat about the health and public safety risks of smoking. Not a huge deal, but bugged me, yadda yadda.

I overheard Smoking-Grandma say to the man she was with "I hope he gets here soon!" and saw her check her cell phone. A few moments later, an unsavory-looking dude rode up on a bike, and I saw them making some sort of exchange. "She's not seriously meeting her dealer in the middle of the day on a playground full of kids," I thought to myself.

The kids and I finished our picnic lunch, and they started to run off to play. I started to clean up the apple cores and such, when a gentle breeze from the other side of the park wafted by with a rather unmistakable odor... I looked across the playground-- there were Smoking-Grandma and her dealer passing a joint back and forth!

FWIW, I'm generally very live-and-let-live about pot. If somebody wants to smoke in the comfort of their home, or even at a child-free concert or something, it doesn't bother me in the least. I may have even done my share of smoking back in my pre-mommy days.







: But for goodness sake! Smoking very stinky weed on a playground full of families in the middle of the day, especially when your personal vehicle is right there, is beyond the pale. I had no idea what to do. The other parents were at a similar loss. One mom called the police on her cell phone. I just gathered the kids and cut the playground adventure short. Normally, I would have said something to her (even just in passing, like a over-loud comment), but the dealer didn't look like the sort who would care to hear my thoughts on the matter...

Long, I know. What would you have done in the situation.


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## ShyDaisi (Jan 22, 2007)

I cannot believe they had the guts to do that in public. I also am of the live and let live mentality...However, in public and at a park full of kids no less. I am a very non-confrontational person...I am really not sure what I would do....


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## aurora_skys (Apr 1, 2008)

well i dont have kids quite yet but i did smoke a good bit of pot in the past so i guess i qualify to comment. i too am very live and let live about pot but i believe it belongs in the house and no where else. i would have packed up the kids and informed the police. its just unacceptable (and stupid!!) to do that on a playground! i would worry about what other drugs/users might also be present. you know, like when the ladys meth dealer whos tweaked out and has a gun under his seat rolls up or something... i think you were right to leave.


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## syn_ack89 (Oct 1, 2007)

What would I have done - called the police!

There is NO CALL for them to be doing that at a public park.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

That's seriously trashy (flame away).

I would've called the cops, because I'm a bitch like that.


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## CherryBomb (Feb 13, 2005)

And yeah, I smoked pot all day every day for like 3 years and I would smoke occasionally now if it were legal.


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## katbomumof3 (Sep 16, 2007)

yeah i'm totally cool with pot, but at a kid park? um no
thats silly
i woulda left... and hoped someone else was calling the cops, cause i'm a chicken


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## rmzbm (Jul 8, 2005)

I'd of called the cops too.







Smoke weed all ya want, AWAY from where my kids have to inhale. My own father pulled this BS once, smoking a joint right into DS1's face. It was not pretty once I noticed. *sigh*

The park is not the place. Period.


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## dancebaraka (Dec 14, 2006)

Wow... I am pretty amazed so many folks would have called the police. Esp a bunch of self-proclaimed past potheads







I guess to me a little waft of distant smoke is part of the diverse sensory experience of being in a public park. I'd rather smell a little smoke in the distance than some people's toxic deodarants/perfume, but my preferences must integrate with the preferences of the public when I am in a ... uh public setting.
If my kiddo asked what x person was doing, I would just tell them the truth: "that person is smoking. we don't do that but they do. different people do different things"....

Hope I don't sound *too* snarky. Really I am usually a sweetheart. Guess I feel like going out on a limb today...


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I don't care if people smoke pot. I smoked plenty my senior year of high school.







But thats just not cool to smoke it around kids or at a kids place, or to make a deal at a park. That warrants a call to the cops. I am one that believes marijuana should be legal, but thats just being stupid to smoke it/make deals around kids.







: Go smoke your pot elsewhere.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Moving to Parenting Issues. Play nice!


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I'm very pro pot. But at a family park? Not cool or very respectful of the families trying to play there. Smoking pot at a public park reminds me of high school







but not something I would be too thrilled to happen upon now.

That said, I most certainly would not call the cops. If I was uncomfortable, or didn't want my son smelling it, I would leave. However, I really don't have a probem with my son catching a whiff of pot smoke and if he asked what the smell was, we would begin that conversation.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
I'm very pro pot. But at a family park? Not cool or very respectful of the families trying to play there. Smoking pot at a public park reminds me of high school







but not something I would be too thrilled to happen upon now.

That said, I most certainly would not call the cops. If I was uncomfortable, or didn't want my son smelling it, I would leave. However, I really don't have a probem with my son catching a whiff of pot smoke and if he asked what the smell was, we would begin that conversation.

Exactly how I feel about it. I think calling the cops is a bit OTT (hell, I might even take a big whiff and close my eyes while reliving some nice memories) but I wouldn't be pleased about it either. I would probably shoot the people a dirty look and then leave. If my kid asked about it I would tell the truth. I think that kids should see how badly some people behave because if they see how the other adults are reacting negatively to the situation, they will be more likely to form the same good judgment about not doing stupid stuff like that in public.


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## amyleigh33 (Nov 2, 2006)

No surprise here for mamas that know me... but I most certainly would not call the cops, either. I'm pretty much in agreement with exactly what Baraka said, except I personally don't like the smell of pot (it makes me feel kind of sick) and would've moved away for my own benefit... I personally see the police as a useful tool for their possession of a gun and would only make use of their services if I felt that I was being threatened in a way that there was no recourse but to involve a deadly weapon. Lacking one myself, I'd have little choice but to call the police (and hope they actually show up).


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## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

Well... I live in Vancouver so things are different here. I don't think I've ever been to the park and NOT smelled pot. Or walked down the street. I wouldn't have even noticed.

Maybe Grandma has a medical exemption, and that's why she is being so brazen?


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Here's my issue. Pot is an area intoxicant...

At my job, I may be subject to random drug tests with immediate dismissal if I am found positive... I work in the oil and gas sector - and in order to keep contracts the small company I work for has this in the employment contract.

If I was at the playgroup with my DD - and someone smoked pot. Even inhaling a small amount is enough to fail a drug test.

It is VERY inconsiderate to smoke pot around people you don't know. There are many jobs which have no drug rules.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
Here's my issue. Pot is an area intoxicant...

At my job, I may be subject to random drug tests with immediate dismissal if I am found positive... I work in the oil and gas sector - and in order to keep contracts the small company I work for has this in the employment contract.

If I was at the playgroup with my DD - and someone smoked pot. Even inhaling a small amount is enough to fail a drug test.

It is VERY inconsiderate to smoke pot around people you don't know. There are many jobs which have no drug rules.

and there are ppls like me, who's throat swells shut.....


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## Getz (May 22, 2005)

I would have to say something to granny. I don't have an issue with the pot and maybe she needs it for a medical reason, but they need to move it away from the kids.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

I would have far less problem with ppl smoking weed than cigarettes. And I have very little problem with cigarette smoking outside...

It's just a plant.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
It's just a plant.









It's just a plant which could make me loose my job.

If you look at the test limits - even brief second hand exposure is enough to fail a drug test...


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## littlecityfarmer (Apr 27, 2004)

OP here... It was one of those situations when I wished I had a cell phone... I would have called the cops in this case, because the whole thing was just shady/trashy. I think it would have bothered me less if the smokers had been teenagers and not adults accompanied by small children, if it hadn't been 1:30pm, or if I hadn't seen her intentionally call her dealer, buy a bag in full view of the kids who were with her and the other families on the playground, and "sample the merchandise" with this shifty character. My kids didn't know what they were smoking, and I doubt that many of the other kids did, either, but we parents sure did. And it was just so far outside of acceptable guardian behavior... I'm not a particularly confrontational person, but I do have my mama-bear moments. Had I not been worried about the possibility of a weapon being involved in the response to my comments, I certainly would have marched over to give them a piece of my mind!

Again, I don't have a problem with pot in general. I just think there's a time and place to use it, and a playground full of kids, some of whom are in your care, in the middle of the day just ain't it...


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
It's just a plant which could make me loose my job.

If you look at the test limits - even brief second hand exposure is enough to fail a drug test...

Well... that's ridiculous. I'd be fighting that whole mandatory testing thing, especially if it picks up such a small amount of smoke. Not the person smoking a doob in the loverly outdoors. YMMV.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie* 
Well... I live in Vancouver so things are different here. I don't think I've ever been to the park and NOT smelled pot. Or walked down the street. I wouldn't have even noticed.

Maybe Grandma has a medical exemption, and that's why she is being so brazen?

Another Canadian here. Calling the police would do nothing here. They walk around in the smoke at daytime outdoor concerts (with lots of kids running around) without batting an eye.

Smelling pot outdoors at a park wouldn't even raise my eyebrows. It's not like it's going to effect my kid and if I don't like the smell I can make sure I'm upwind of it.


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## Ammaarah (May 21, 2005)

I wouldn't call the police. I'm not even sure I'd leave the area. We don't use marijuana but I don't think it's the devil either.


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

i am a smoker of tobacco and a former smoker of weed (good god did i feel old when it started making me sick.







)

i would NEVER ever smoke right next to children but i have no problem with people standing away from the kids for a smoke outside. it's done around children in places with lower lung cancer rates than the US.

i think it's a bit odd that the smoking was somehow linked with the drug deal in this story. they were not quite treated as separate annoyances and seemed morally linked.

perhaps i'm biased as i am a smoker but it seems like a whole other ballpark of offenses to be conducting illegal business at a playground. regardless of one's moral beliefs about pot that lady could have been arrested and it would be pretty traumatic for a bunch of kids to see a granny tackled by cops. and the kinds of dealers who make deliveries to parks aren't usually your friendly neighborhood hippies. that really would annoy me!


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
If you look at the test limits - even brief second hand exposure is enough to fail a drug test...

This isn't true. Tests aren't that sensitive. In the tiny weird off chance it did the trace amount would indicate you didn't smoke/ingest anything but happened to be around some.

Do some googling of the test companies. The tests are done specifically so the levels from second hand smoke don't give a positive.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

well yeah, and it was linked with 'trashyness' whatever that means, and fear of a weapon? not really getting it.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Well... that's ridiculous. I'd be fighting that whole mandatory testing thing, especially if it picks up such a small amount of smoke. Not the person smoking a doob in the loverly outdoors. YMMV.

That sounds well and good...unless you need a job to feed your kid.

I'd have asked her to please move elsewhere or put it out...same thing I'd do if someone was smoking a cigarette at the playground. I don't want to smell it, and I don't want my kid to have to smell it.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby* 
That sounds well and good...unless you need a job to feed your kid.

It's not my reality, so it strikes me as very big brother, and i find it alarming that people then turn on each other and just accept these crazy rules. I'm not looking at it from a practical angle, but just from an 'omg!!!' perspective.


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

I smoke tobacco and sometimes I wish that I still smoked weed, but I think that if it's wafting over the kids then it's too close. If grandma was sitting in the car blazing one up while her 10 and 12 year olds played on the swings, that's one thing, but if she's that close then I probably would've said something to her.

Smoke all the pot you want, but not in front of kids. I was 25 before my dad sparked one in front of me, and my mom still hasn't done it. (It's no secret, Mama!)


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

I wouldn't have done anything if someone was smoking pot or cigs in a park with children. Sure, I would have explained to my children that some people smoke and that's okay for them; but maybe it isn't the best idea to do it in a children's park. I think I would be irritated by the cig smoke but not by the pot (just me I guess). I don't really worry about the second hand smoke thing, I've taken my children to Dead concerts and other places where loads of people were smoking pot and cigs. Calling the police is just a little too crazy in my mind. . .


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## Phantaja (Oct 10, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
Here's my issue. Pot is an area intoxicant...

At my job, I may be subject to random drug tests with immediate dismissal if I am found positive... I work in the oil and gas sector - and in order to keep contracts the small company I work for has this in the employment contract.

If I was at the playgroup with my DD - and someone smoked pot. Even inhaling a small amount is enough to fail a drug test.

It is VERY inconsiderate to smoke pot around people you don't know. There are many jobs which have no drug rules.


Wow! Your drug tests are more sensitive than the Department of Homeland Securities, AND the FBI's! They're not just testing you, they're testing anyone you come in contact with.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
This isn't true. Tests aren't that sensitive. In the tiny weird off chance it did the trace amount would indicate you didn't smoke/ingest anything but happened to be around some.

Do some googling of the test companies. The tests are done specifically so the levels from second hand smoke don't give a positive.

My employment contract specifically states that I will not be in the presence of pot smoke...

There are tests that will test for that. And I don't think that anyone has the right to risk my job because they want to get high.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
My employment contract specifically states that I will not be in the presence of pot smoke...

There are tests that will test for that. And I don't think that anyone has the right to risk my job because they want to get high.

*They* are not risking your job. They are just smoking a j. You chose that job, your employers chose to implement drug testing like that, and your government chooses to allow it.


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## anhaga (May 26, 2005)

It wouldn't bother me. I wouldn't join them.

If they were smoking crack or another speed drug that could make them turn angry I might take the kids and leave.

Just pot? Not a problem.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
*They* are not risking your job. They are just smoking a j. You chose that job, your employers chose to implement drug testing like that, and your government chooses to allow it.

The last time I checked smoking pot was illegal. Having a job with drug tests isn't...

Also - do you really want someone who potentially works with gas and oil wells having their judgment impaired? My contract also states that while on company time I will have no alcoholic beverages - not even at lunch. It doesn't matter if I'm under the legal limit imposed by the government. I could be dismissed for any in my system.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
The last time I checked smoking pot was illegal. Having a job with drug tests isn't...

Very true. Still doesn't make your job their responsibility though. I get the practical concerns but not the transferring of blame to someone who is having a toke outside.

I also can't imagine a drug test would pick that up but that's besides the point.

Quote:

Also - do you really want someone who potentially works with gas and oil wells having their judgment impaired? My contract also states that while on company time I will have no alcoholic beverages - not even at lunch. It doesn't matter if I'm under the legal limit imposed by the government. I could be dismissed for any in my system.
Im not suggesting you should smoke up at work. I'm just saying the stipulations of your job are not a stranger's responsibility.


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## Kessed (Nov 28, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Im not suggesting you should smoke up at work. I'm just saying the stipulations of your job are not a stranger's responsibility.

That's the problem.

Pot is an area intoxicant. Everyone who can smell it can be affected by it. That's a problem. Alcohol - that only affects the person drinking it, same thing with most other drugs. Pot - haven't you heard about 'hotboxing'???


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
*They* are not risking your job. They are just smoking a j. *You chose that job*, your employers chose to implement drug testing like that, and your government chooses to allow it.

Come on, TM. You are the last person I expect to see using the "you chose that job" argument. I have way too much respect for your argumentative abilities to let you get by with that one...


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Nobody is hotboxing outside.







The whole point of hotboxing is you need a tightly enclosed space.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby* 
Come on, TM. You are the last person I expect to see using the "you chose that job" argument. I have way too much respect for your argumentative abilities to let you get by with that one...









Can we not do the 'I'm so disappointed in you' angle? It's underhanded. I said what I said because I believe it to be true.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 







Can we not do the 'I'm so disappointed in you' angle? It's underhanded. I said what I said because I believe it to be true.

That doesn't make any sense, because I've seen you rail against that exact argument a million times before. So I don't get why you're using it now.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

What? No I haven't. I empathize that someone has a job where they get drug tested. But nobody else is 'risking' their job. It's the big brother trickle down effect. Someone is toking a j in the park. Someone else's job tightly controls what they do outside of work, so instead of objecting to that they call the cops and pretty soon nobody can toke a j in the park.

I find that disturbing. That response is pretty consistent with my MO.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
What? No I haven't. I empathize that someone has a job where they get drug tested. But nobody else is 'risking' their job. It's the big brother trickle down effect. Someone is toking a j in the park. Someone else's job tightly controls what they do outside of work, so instead of objecting to that they call the cops and pretty soon nobody can toke a j in the park.

I find that disturbing. That response is pretty consistent with my MO.

NOBODY should be creating air polution in a park, near children playing. Here's it's even illegal to smoke cigs in a park. They should stink up their own homes instead.


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## Laggie (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
That's the problem.

Pot is an area intoxicant. Everyone who can smell it can be affected by it. That's a problem. Alcohol - that only affects the person drinking it, same thing with most other drugs. Pot - haven't you heard about 'hotboxing'???

Hotboxing is a bunch of people smoking a joint in a car or elevator or bathroom. And to be honest, I don't think you really get any higher from it. I don't think you would get high if you weren't also smoking the joint, unless you are very very sensitive. However, that type of exposure might be enough to show on a drug test.

Being outside, and having a wisp of smoke waft towards you? There is no way that would come up on a drug test. None whatsoever. That would make everyone in Vancouver test positive, every time.

Totally OT, but I can't believe the USA allows employers to make people pee in a cup. Land of the free indeed. Free the Pee!


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
NOBODY should be creating air polution in a park, near children playing. Here's it's even illegal to smoke cigs in a park. They should stink up their own homes instead.









OMG the pollution argument. Worry about everyone driving to the park in their SUVs, not somebody smoking a joint. Seriously.


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## moondiapers (Apr 14, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 







OMG the pollution argument. Worry about everyone driving to the park in their SUVs, not somebody smoking a joint. Seriously.

Ok, I'll think about that next time I have rush my kid home or to the ER for a breathing treatment because of some jerk ignoring the no smoking signs. Or the next time some dumb kid toking on a joint blows smoke in my face causing my throat to swell shut.


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

you know I think if it were wafting over to my kids or to me I might ask them to move further into the woods or just further away. I find pot smokers to be generally kind relaxed people who might just come back with, "oh sure" and pick up and scootch over.

I don't smoke pot..never did but I don't think the police need to be involved. I'd hate to see anyone arrested or lose jobs or kids or anything over an afternoon break so to speak.


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## Breeder (May 28, 2006)

Personally I would've probably left the area when Grandma was smoking her cigarette on the playground (if she was right next to the play area, wind was wafting smoke toward the kids...varying factors). My kid is very sensitive to strong odors - asthma.

He's asked about it before (since my FIL has been kicked outside with his cigarettes), and I told him: Some adults make a choice to smoke, but it is dangerous to their body. It can even kill them. But adults are old enough to make that decision by themselves.

He asked why and I answered honestly that I didn't know.

I don't consider smoking weed the same as smoking cigarettes, weed is generally consumed less often and doesn't contain additives. I would not have called the cops for either.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
Ok, I'll think about that next time I have rush my kid home or to the ER for a breathing treatment because of some jerk ignoring the no smoking signs. Or the next time some dumb kid toking on a joint blows smoke in my face causing my throat to swell shut.

If you have an allergy, that is different. But to me it's akin to a peanut butter allergy... you have to take precautions to ensure your health, because it's a world with peanut butter. Personally I would do with ganja smoke what I would do with peanut butter if my kid were allergic, either move away from the allergen or explain the situation and ask the people to move.

It doesn't have to have the self righteous, holier than thou element.

I've also never had anyone blow marijuana smoke in my face, that would be um... risky. People usually conceal it at least a little bit and NEVER advertise what they are doing aggressively like that, and I'm in Canada which is much less hysterical on that issue.


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## Milvudeeshna (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
and there are ppls like me, who's throat swells shut.....

and people like my partner, who projectile vomit upon the first "distant whiff" of pot...


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Okay so we have drug tests that can pick up a whiff of MJ in an open park, everyone around someone smoking outside getting high just like hotboxing, and people who projectile vomit upon one whiff of the ganj? As I said in another thread, the internet sure is an interesting place. I've never run across any of this IRL.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
If you have an allergy, that is different. But to me it's akin to a peanut butter allergy... you have to take precautions to ensure your health, because it's a world with peanut butter. Personally I would do with ganja smoke what I would do with peanut butter if my kid were allergic, either move away from the allergen or explain the situation and ask the people to move.

I totally agree!


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## Milvudeeshna (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Okay so we have drug tests that can pick up a whiff of MJ in an open park, everyone around someone smoking outside getting high just like hotboxing, and people who projectile vomit upon one whiff of the ganj? As I said in another thread, the internet sure is an interesting place. I've never run across any of this IRL.

And yet, it exists. I assure you, my partner hurls. I've seen her do it.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amyleigh33* 
*I personally see the police as a useful tool for their possession of a gun and would only make use of their services if I felt that I was being threatened in a way that there was no recourse but to involve a deadly weapon.* Lacking one myself, I'd have little choice but to call the police (and hope they actually show up).

Little OT...

and an FYI...

I know quite a few police officers. This issue has come up in conversation before so let me clue you in to it. Police officers are in service to enforce the law. They are in no way required to act as a bodyguard. If a law is broken, they must act. But they are not personal security guards.

Honestly, I didn't even know this until it came up in conversation. But it is part of the training they go through.

This is why we have a law that allows us the "right to bear arms". To protect ourselves.


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## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

I seriously had no idea that smelling mj out in an open air park could make you test positive. Does anyone have stats or proof of that? Because until proven otherwise, I think that's total bs.

And yes, the people mentioned by the OP sound a bit shady .. doing a drug deal right at the playground with young kids in their care. And I may be terrible for this .. but my first thought is that mj needs to be taxed, and legal. If grandma and grandpa in the OP were able to buy a pack of mj at the local store, this story would be much less "seedy".


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## Kiddoson (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
I seriously had no idea that smelling mj out in an open air park could make you test positive. Does anyone have stats or proof of that? Because until proven otherwise, I think that's total bs.

And yes, the people mentioned by the OP sound a bit shady .. doing a drug deal right at the playground with young kids in their care. And I may be terrible for this .. but my first thought is that mj needs to be taxed, and legal. If grandma and grandpa in the OP were able to buy a pack of mj at the local store, this story would be much less "seedy".









*butting in* that sure is the truth! would eliminate the need for that "seedy" dealer now wouldn't it?
JFTR I would NOT call the cops but would move away if I didn't like the look of the "dealer".


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## rainbowmoon (Oct 17, 2003)

I have never heard of anyone failing a pee test from second hand MJ smoke. is that really possible?

I wouldn't have cared either if someone was smoking a joint at the park. (I mean unless of course they were blowing it right in our faces!) but rather MJ than tobacco cigerrettes!







certainly not a need for police involvement. but hey that's just me!


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Secondhand marijuana smoke will not cause a positive test. Here's some links for more information.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rainbowmoon* 
I have never heard of anyone failing a pee test from second hand MJ smoke. is that really possible?

No it's not. Every drug test manufacturer has a FAQ and on it one of the questions is always "can I fail my test if I'm around second hand smoke" and the answer is always "no." The tests are made so trace amounts from outdoor concerts and the like don't trip them. If an employer is claiming the test they use will detect trace amounts from one joint from someone in a park the employer is lying. Second hand exposure can cause a fail but that's if the employee has been in a sealed car with people smoking joints or in a close bathroom or room, and even then a positive is rare.


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## DBZ (Aug 9, 2005)

Egads! I think you did the right thing by leaving early.


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
Even inhaling a small amount is enough to fail a drug test.


Not from second hand smoke.

You have to really inhale A LOT of second hand smoke for it to show on a drug test....like if you were in a small room where a LOT of MJ was being smoked.

Just thought I would put that out there...


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moondiapers* 
and there are ppls like me, who's throat swells shut.....

Really?

Even if you are outside at a park and the person isn't sitting right next to you?

I am not trying to be rude but that sounds a little extreme...


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Getz* 
I would have to say something to granny. I don't have an issue with the pot and maybe she needs it for a medical reason, but they need to move it away from the kids.

ITA


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I would have far less problem with ppl smoking weed than cigarettes. And I have very little problem with cigarette smoking outside...

It's just a plant.



















I think I need to change my siggy to ITA w/thismama on just about everything!


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Kessed* 
That's the problem.

Pot is an area intoxicant. Everyone who can smell it can be affected by it. That's a problem. Alcohol - that only affects the person drinking it, same thing with most other drugs. *Pot - haven't you heard about 'hotboxing'???*

How in the WORLD would someone HotBox a the PARK??!! It requires a closed area...which is completely different than what is being discussed.

"Hotboxing" is the only way that you can get a dirty UA/drug test just from being around someone who's using...and it would have to be EXTREME hotboxing...


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Milvudeeshna* 
and people like my partner, who projectile vomit upon the first "distant whiff" of pot...

And I get migraines from other people's perfume....I see that as *MY* issue and move on...not as a reason that other people shouldn't be able to wear perfume!


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Okay so we have drug tests that can pick up a whiff of MJ in an open park, everyone around someone smoking outside getting high just like hotboxing, and people who projectile vomit upon one whiff of the ganj? As I said in another thread, the internet sure is an interesting place. I've never run across any of this IRL.

And there are 2 month old babies crawling ALL AROUND the mess!!!


----------



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Oooh you go, dubfam! What she said.







:

eta -







omg I *just* got the crawling reference.


----------



## MayBaby2007 (Feb 22, 2007)

:


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## MammaB21 (Oct 30, 2007)

Just for the record, I think 'hotboxing' is allso reffered to as a 'contact high', and yes, it is possible, in very closed proximaties. I would assume to test possitive on a test, you would have to first FEEL the effects of the pot. Granny was wrong to do a drug deal, and proceed to smoke in the presence of the children. I feel bad for the kids she was caring for at the time. But I don't think smoking a cig, or pot for that matter, in an open area is cause to accuse one of producing a contact high. I would not have called the cops, but probably said something to granny along the lines of, "do you really think that is smart to do out in the open around children?" And I would have moved away.


----------



## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

ITA w/ Mamab21


----------



## Milvudeeshna (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
And I get migraines from other people's perfume....I see that as *MY* issue and move on...not as a reason that other people shouldn't be able to wear perfume!

Let me get one thing clear -- *I* really don't care if people smoke pot in their own homes or friends' houses -- private property, in other words. I think it should be legal to enjoy mj in those situations. But, same with tobacco, it's just flat-out rude to smoke it in a public park, in other people's airspace (and obviously, if the other parents could smell it, granny was WAY too close). Smoke pot if you (general you) want, but exercise some common courtesy.


----------



## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Okay so we have drug tests that can pick up a whiff of MJ in an open park, everyone around someone smoking outside getting high just like hotboxing, and people who projectile vomit upon one whiff of the ganj?

Thank the gods for the D.A.R.E. program, how else would we know these very important facts about weed?


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

also, i have been a smoker for a few years and am usually pretty careful to not do it too close to children. however, i've had a few people ask me to move. i have done it every time or put out the cig and waited until whoever was with me was ready to go. most smokers will do that willingly if you ask respectfully. "excuse me, my child and i are getting itchy throats. we have allergies. would you mind moving a little downwind?" usually works better than "excuse me, you and your kind are slowly killing my child and degrading the moral character of american youth. would you mind putting that out?"


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## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird* 
also, i have been a smoker for a few years and am usually pretty careful to not do it too close to children. however, i've had a few people ask me to move. i have done it every time or put out the cig and waited until whoever was with me was ready to go. most smokers will do that willingly if you ask respectfully. "excuse me, my child and i are getting itchy throats. we have allergies. would you mind moving a little downwind?" usually works better than "excuse me, you and your kind are slowly killing my child and degrading the moral character of american youth. would you mind putting that out?"









:

If only one of those approaches would work for my downstairs neighbor! We live in a SMOKE FREE building, but Mr. Too-Cool 19 year old doesn't think that applies to him. I have tried the "we have allergies" approach, and he keeps on smoking (cigs and mj). I have gone to the landlord, who is the head of neighborhood watch and takes that "very seriously", and she has talked to him. I smelled it again yesterday, called her, and nothing.....







: MJ makes me so very nauseated. I wish he would stop...


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I would have called the police. same as if an annoying dog was off leash or someone was starting a camp fire. I hame no problem with any of those things in the proper place but a play ground with children is not the proper place for any of them.


----------



## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird* 
Thank the gods for the D.A.R.E. program, how else would we know these very important facts about weed?









This gave me such a good laugh this morning! I've heard they are revamping the DARE program .. good thing b/c unless something major changes, I wont allow my son to go through it.


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## KBecks (Jan 3, 2007)

I thought this thread was just about smoking cigarettes!

Seriously if I saw a drug deal, I would either leave or call the cops. I don't usually carry a cell with me to the playground, (stupid, I know). But if I had it, I would call.

Arg, knowing the kids were there with Granny makes it tougher (I mean, who wants to see Granny busted?) but I think I'd still call the cops and trust them to handle it with discretion in front of the kids.


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## KBecks (Jan 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Wand pretty soon nobody can toke a j in the park..

As far as I know, smoking pot in the park is illegal. I'd call the cops. The same as I would if someone were drinking alcohol in the park near the kids.


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird* 
Thank the gods for the D.A.R.E. program, how else would we know these very important facts about weed?


----------



## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KBecks* 
As far as I know, smoking pot in the park is illegal. I'd call the cops. The same as I would if someone were drinking alcohol in the park near the kids.

Lots of things are illegal. I find it a bit... sheeple-like... to base judgments about whether something is okay or not solely on legal status. The world is not that black and white for me. I do all kinds of things that are illegal... just this morning I was out on my front porch with my sweet old dog... who happens to be a pit bull and subject to about a zillion regulations that I was ignoring so she could sit unmuzzled with me in the sun.

Gotta use yer own noggin, kwim?


----------



## amyleigh33 (Nov 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie* 
That would make everyone in Vancouver test positive, every time.

SO true.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Little OT...

and an FYI...

I know quite a few police officers. This issue has come up in conversation before so let me clue you in to it. Police officers are in service to enforce the law. They are in no way required to act as a bodyguard. If a law is broken, they must act. But they are not personal security guards.

Honestly, I didn't even know this until it came up in conversation. But it is part of the training they go through.

This is why we have a law that allows us the "right to bear arms". To protect ourselves.

I guess it would've been clearer if I'd worded it clearer, but now it will go off topic. My point was that I don't believe that all laws exist to protect people. I think a lot of laws are more harmful to more people than they are helpful. Knowing that the purpose of police is to enforce laws, no matter how absurd or unfair they may be, I personally would avoid involving the police in any matter unless it were something that could not be handled between myself and the so-called "offender" (in this case, gramma), such as a situation where someone was breaking a law (i.e. trying to rob me) and doing so with a weapon (i.e. a gun). The way I could've made this clearer and more relevant, I suppose, would have been to specifically say: I think that pot should not be illegal, therefore I would not call the police to enforce a law that I don't believe should exist. Instead, I would move away because I do not like the smell of pot, or ask gramma not to smoke in front of the kiddos.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

I gotta throw in my








: I <3 MJ. I don't do "hard" drugs, I don't drink, but I love me some sticky sweet MJ.

with that said. I would go over and kick granny in the nads....







in a metropark with the kids?! Can't you at least go back into the woods or something? Geese.

people like her are why people think that people like me are burnouts..

(I think that sentence was burnt out







ykwim..)


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## AndVeeGeeMakes3 (Mar 16, 2007)

I find it so interesting that, in a place like MDC, so many mamas are ready and raring to go call the POLICE.







What kind of free-thinking mama resorts to that *automatically*? How about some creativity? How about modeling for your children *OTHER* ways to solve problems?

You know, public nudity is generally *illegal* too. And laws like that are used to harass us moms all the time: _read breastfeeding_. Some people just might not like to look at our breasts. They might not like their young children to see our breasts. They might have lots of negative feelings about bare breasts in public. But we are working, most of us, on changing those laws. And, in the meantime, we ask for our fellow citizens to bear (bare







) with us. Until society catches up to US and our way of thinking . . . Now, clearly, there are health issues relative to smoking, and I can't stand the smell of cigarettes, but there are other, more productive ways, of handling a situation like that. Generally humor is a pretty good tool.

The law saying something is wrong does not make it wrong. And to think that we serve the law *and not the other way around*, is very, very dangerous (See The Patriot Act).

*
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it."
*
~Thomas Jefferson

AND:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
And I get migraines from other people's perfume....I see that as *MY* issue and move on...not as a reason that other people shouldn't be able to wear perfume!

ME TOO - BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uke







:


----------



## Smalls181 (May 12, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
people like her are why people think that people like me are burnouts..

(I think that sentence was burnt out







ykwim..)

I totally agree with you. I know soooo many people, friends and family, who smoke mj on a regular basis, yet somehow manage to live productive, responsible lives. (please note the dripping sarcasm). I also have another family member who can't seem to do that. It absolutely controls him. Its people like him who give all mj users a bad name.

With this lady, though, I feel like it was a really bad choice to do that in the park like that. Being that it is illegal, you have to be careful. For your sake, and for the people (children) with you. I don't trust people like that, so I would have left.


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Smalls181* 
I also have another family member who can't seem to do that. It absolutely controls him. Its people like him who give all mj users a bad name.

Well.... I would say it's people believing propaganda and then taking anecdotes like that one to validate the propaganda, that give mj users a bad name. Kwim? I can't control myself around spaghetti (seriously, I used to eat it like every day) but nobody is all 'see! it's that horrible spaghetti! gateway to lasagna!'


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## hipumpkins (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:

but nobody is all 'see! it's that horrible spaghetti! gateway to lasagna!'


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## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
I would have far less problem with ppl smoking weed than cigarettes. And I have very little problem with cigarette smoking outside...

It's just a plant.









I agree. I would have laughed about how cavalier grandma was being about it, but otherwise, wouldn't have given it much thought.


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## thatblondegirl (Jan 16, 2008)

i would NEVER have called the cops. while it is rude of grandma to smoke weed around the kids in the park, if i didn't want my kid around it, it is up to ME to move. why do people always try to make others conform to THEIR idea of what is right or wrong??? worry about yourself. if you don't want to be around it, don't be. its a public place and its OUTSIDE! if she was smoking in an enclosed room, i'd have asked her to pssbily put it out, but its still up to ME to remove myself from that situation. personal responsibilty.


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## aprons_and_acorns (Sep 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
'see! it's that horrible spaghetti! gateway to lasagna!'











thismama I really have to agree with your POV on this thread. There have been a lot of interesting responses. I'm pretty surprised by the number of posters who have said they'd call the cops.


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## aprons_and_acorns (Sep 28, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Jessy1019* 
I agree. I would have laughed about how cavalier grandma was being about it, but otherwise, wouldn't have given it much thought.

This is my take on it too. In fact, there were a few people smoking weed at one of our local city parks last season (and it's pretty rare to smell/see it which is why I still remember it) and dh and I still call that park "Reefer Madness".


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KBecks* 
Arg, knowing the kids were there with Granny makes it tougher (I mean, who wants to see Granny busted?) but I think I'd still call the cops and trust them to handle it with discretion in front of the kids.

on the other hand who wants to see granny driving off with a van full of kids while she is high. I totally failed to make that connection.


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## maplesugar (May 24, 2005)

I would have NOT called the cops in this situtuation. I would mind my own business and leave the folks to enjoy their herbs. What would the cops do in this situation, anyways? I guess it depends on what state you are in, but in my state they would most likely laugh it off.

I can't stand cigarrettes, though. This would bother me more. I don't think a whiff of ganja smoke is going to harm your children, or make you fail a drug test.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KBecks* 
As far as I know, smoking pot in the park is illegal. I'd call the cops. The same as I would if someone were drinking alcohol in the park near the kids.

Then you'd be calling the cops on a whole lot of amazing parents watching their kids' soccer games here. Parents here all have wine and/or beer in their coffee mugs while sitting on blankets and having picnics in the park as their kids play in their soccer leagues.

And then there's the Opera Under the Stars at the park where again tons of people have wine in their thermoses.

If the people drinking or smoking aren't causing problems for anyone why would anyone bother with the police? I mean this granny wasn't acting up or fighting with anyone or smacking her kids.


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

i do not have a right to complete and optimal safety. i cannot have a right to an impossibility.

i am not my brothers (or old granny's) keeper. if he asks i may spot him a five when he's down or give him a place to crash but that's about it.

i have too much to do when i'm at the park to give much thought to other people's habits. i'm playing with my kids and gossiping about other peoples romantic lives.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *rainbowmoon* 
I have never heard of anyone failing a pee test from second hand MJ smoke. is that really possible?

I have a friend who was on probation in high school who tested faintly positive from just being around it (but she was around a lot I believe, not just a whiff or two in an open area). They gave her a warning, and from then on she made sure to stay away from it altogether.


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## aihcalappa (Sep 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thatblondegirl* 
i would NEVER have called the cops. while it is rude of grandma to smoke weed around the kids in the park, if i didn't want my kid around it, it is up to ME to move. why do people always try to make others conform to THEIR idea of what is right or wrong??? worry about yourself. if you don't want to be around it, don't be. its a public place and its OUTSIDE! if she was smoking in an enclosed room, i'd have asked her to pssbily put it out, but its still up to ME to remove myself from that situation. personal responsibilty.









:

Couldn't have said it better myself!


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## intorainbowz (Aug 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *syn_ack89* 
What would I have done - called the police!

There is NO CALL for them to be doing that at a public park.

Yup. My tax dollars pay for the park to be used legally. I dial 911


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

i hear alot of "call the cops" here.

i would not hesitate to call if someone were in imminent danger. that's what they're there for. 911 is for emergencies. if i have had to call in a non emergency situation i've called the department number before.

i'm not quite sure what about a woman smoking pot, minding her own business, conducting a deal with someone who was eager to leave uneventfully and who may have been quite agitated by the presence of law enforcement necessitates calling men with guns.

i'm really curious about this. why the cops?


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## intorainbowz (Aug 16, 2006)

Because I don't want DD learning pot smoking in public is an ok thing. Drug dealing at the playground.... very much not ok.

She's not minding her own business. She's in a very public arena.

Basically I have NO tolerance for drugs and the garbage that goes along with them.

Oh, and since I sleep with a cop and a soldier, men with guns ain't that big a thing here. Neither are women with guns. I'd much rather have a trained, background checked, officer of the law there with his or her gun than the drug dealer, who I'd bet you lots of cash had a stolen, illegal, unlicensed gun on him.


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## treemom2 (Oct 1, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intorainbowz* 
Oh, and since I sleep with a cop and a soldier, men with guns ain't that big a thing here. Neither are women with guns. I'd much rather have a trained, background checked, officer of the law there with his or her gun than the drug dealer, who I'd bet you lots of cash had a stolen, illegal, unlicensed gun on him.









I just don't think I can say anything to this statement that wouldn't sound inflammatory. . .so I'll just leave it at


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird* 
conducting a deal with someone who was eager to leave uneventfully and who may have been quite agitated by the presence of law enforcement necessitates calling men with guns.

i'm really curious about this. why the cops?

*Of course* he may be quite agitated by the presence of cops; he's breaking the law!

And why call the cops - because it is illegal. When did society start protecting the criminals?

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intorainbowz*
I'd much rather have a trained, background checked, officer of the law there with his or her gun than the drug dealer, who I'd bet you lots of cash had a stolen, illegal, unlicensed gun on him.

Very true.

DH is a police officer and I can guarantee he would have intervened in that situation.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intorainbowz* 
Because I don't want DD learning pot smoking in public is an ok thing.

So be a parent and teach her that it's not acceptable. Do you allow others' actions in public to dictate what she will learn in other situations? So, like, if a woman is wearing a really short mini-skirt and skimpy underwear you're afraid that your daughter will learn that dressing like that is acceptable and would feel free to call the cops on her for indecent exposure? Whatever happened to using undesirable behaviour to teach an (individual, personal) lesson to kids instead of getting the entire police force and a team of lawyers involved?


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intorainbowz* 
Yup. My tax dollars pay for the park to be used legally. I dial 911

What a waste of resources.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intorainbowz* 
Because I don't want DD learning pot smoking in public is an ok thing.

911 is not there to help you teach your child lessons about life.

Quote:

Drug dealing at the playground.... very much not ok.
We don't know she was 'drug dealing.' It sounds to me like the OP made a bunch of assumptions about the people connected to the fact she smelled weed.

Quote:

Oh, and since I sleep with a cop and a soldier, men with guns ain't that big a thing here. Neither are women with guns. I'd much rather have a trained, background checked, officer of the law there with his or her gun than the drug dealer, who I'd bet you lots of cash had a stolen, illegal, unlicensed gun on him.
And more assumptions... that gramma must have a gun with her if she is smoking a j at the park?


----------



## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
DH is a police officer and I can guarantee he would have intervened in that situation.

And what would he have done? Really? Cause by the time you called and a cop arrived (if one did - I know in my neighbourhood they wouldn't respond cause they didn't see anything and the deal is over and they know by the time they get there the woman would likely be gone and/or the joint smoked) there would likely be no joint and the dealer would be gone. So the cop would do what? No drugs being smoked and the deal is over. How exactly would he intervene? What is there to do? And if she was still smoking the joint you can bet she wouldn't be before the cop left the cruiser by so again there'd be nothing for a cop to do.

Some of the statements are so classist. Like anyone here would really call the cops on a middle class suburban family having wine with their picnic at the park on a sunny night, even those saying they'd call if somemone were drinking in the park cause that's illegal. How is this different other than the woman has been described as trash? And I have no idea what a children's or family park is. Every park I've ever been in is for everyone. When I go to the parks here there are kids playing, adults socializing, teens playing basketball, adults playing baseball, young men and women picnicing, loners reading or watching everyone and what they're doing.....


----------



## abac (Mar 10, 2005)

It's so frustrating that people believe the lies and propaganda that are shoved down their throats.

Quote:

Because I don't want DD learning pot smoking in public is an ok thing.
Why not?


----------



## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:

And more assumptions... that gramma must have a gun with her if she is smoking a j at the park?








i really really disagree with the posters reasons for calling police but i think that was in reference to *my* assumption that the only people with guns are men. lots of female police and members of the armed forces. my bad.


----------



## mistymama (Oct 12, 2004)

Oh for crying out loud! Do people here seriously think that calling 911 is the way to teach your child smoking pot in a park is wrong?

What happened to talking with your child, using the experience as a tool to teach?

You guys probably think I'm nuts and way off my rocker. But I think mj should be legal. I don't care if someone smokes a joint at the park while I'm there, and I certainly don't care if my child smells it. Mj is not some horrible, evil drug that causes deviant behavior! It is illegal and therefor I don't think it's smart to smoke in public, or expose other people to it.

But I am seriously shocked at how many people here would call the cops and just how closed-minded people are being. I feel like I'm in the DARE program all over again reading this thread. So many assumptions and incorrect information.

Just because something is illegal does not mean it's evil.


----------



## ameliasward (Mar 13, 2006)

There are a lot of smells that waft around in the summer. When I was growing up it was a spicy smell from the Ortega factory. The kids probably had no idea that the pot smell was from anything other than a legal source (lots of smells this time of year, decomposing leaves, sickly sweet flowers/trees blooming, obnoxious perfumes, burning garbage). It seems like most people posting here would make such a big deal out of it, it BECOMES a big deal to our kids (kids who were previously playing in the playground, enjoying themselves). The parents were probably the only ones who knew there was anything illegal going on--as a matter of fact, my husband would have had no idea what the smell was.


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## intorainbowz (Aug 16, 2006)

911 is not there to teach you lessons on life. It is there to deal with illegal situations. I'm not saying the grandma is gun toting, but it sure sounds like a drug deal went down. Not cool anywhere, but really not in a park. Parks are so called "drug free" zones.

Sorry I just can't get on board with the cops are awful drug dealers are great bandwagon here.

Pot smoking is illegal. Do it in privacy if you chose to do that. Its not ok in public.


----------



## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mistymama* 
Oh for crying out loud! Do people here seriously think that calling 911 is the way to teach your child smoking pot in a park is wrong?

What happened to talking with your child, using the experience as a tool to teach?

You guys probably think I'm nuts and way off my rocker. But I think mj should be legal. I don't care if someone smokes a joint at the park while I'm there, and I certainly don't care if my child smells it. Mj is not some horrible, evil drug that causes deviant behavior! It is illegal and therefor I don't think it's smart to smoke in public, or expose other people to it.

But I am seriously shocked at how many people here would call the cops and just how closed-minded people are being. I feel like I'm in the DARE program all over again reading this thread. So many assumptions and incorrect information.

Just because something is illegal does not mean it's evil.

Agreed with all of the above.

I live in Holland. I smell MJ all the time when I'm out and about. Technically, it is supposed to be confined to "coffee shops" and usually is, but people smoke on the street every now and then. You know what? No one cares! Some people give the smokers the evil eye, but the society as a whole runs quite well. It just isn't that big a deal for the vast majority of people and civilization hasn't collapsed!

In fact, what bothers me more in Holland is the cigarette smoking in restaurants. That will finally be illegal in July, thankfully.


----------



## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DariusMom* 
In fact, what bothers me more in Holland is the cigarette smoking in restaurants. That will finally be illegal in July, thankfully.

thats so strange to me. are they banning it from places that (imo) people should be allowed to smoke? (ie bars) they did that here and (as a bartender at the time) I think it was dumb.


----------



## KBecks (Jan 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
Then you'd be calling the cops on a whole lot of amazing parents watching their kids' soccer games here. Parents here all have wine and/or beer in their coffee mugs while sitting on blankets and having picnics in the park as their kids play in their soccer leagues.

And then there's the Opera Under the Stars at the park where again tons of people have wine in their thermoses.

If the people drinking or smoking aren't causing problems for anyone why would anyone bother with the police? I mean this granny wasn't acting up or fighting with anyone or smacking her kids.


It's contextual. A sporting event or music event for adults is different than a playground for young children. If alcohol is allowed at the sporting event or music event, then I have no issue. Alcohol and drugs at a public playground is unacceptable, and illegal.


----------



## KBecks (Jan 3, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thismama* 
Lots of things are illegal. I find it a bit... sheeple-like... to base judgments about whether something is okay or not solely on legal status. The world is not that black and white for me. I do all kinds of things that are illegal... just this morning I was out on my front porch with my sweet old dog... who happens to be a pit bull and subject to about a zillion regulations that I was ignoring so she could sit unmuzzled with me in the sun.

Gotta use yer own noggin, kwim?

I am using my noggin. Drugs and alcohol around young kids at a public playground are unacceptable. People who want to get drunk or high should find other places to do so.


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Well, the fact is that mj *is* illegal now. Given that fact, anyone whose judgment is so poor as to carry out a deal and smoke brazenly in the presence of children in a public place where it is not common (i.e., not Vancouver, evidently) is not someone I would want to be around. I don't know if I would have called the police, but perhaps, depending on how bad a vibe I got from the "dealer."


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## aran (Feb 9, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
thats so strange to me. are they banning it from places that (imo) people should be allowed to smoke? (ie bars) they did that here and (as a bartender at the time) I think it was dumb.

Really? The law was made (where I live) in order to protect the health of waitstaff and bartenders. It was also supported by employers (restaurant and bar owners) who wanted protection from future litigation brought by non-smoking employees that develop lung cancer.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KBecks* 
It's contextual. A sporting event or music event for adults is different than a playground for young children. If alcohol is allowed at the sporting event or music event, then I have no issue. Alcohol and drugs at a public playground is unacceptable, and illegal.

I'm talking at the public city owned neighbourhood playground where little kids play in their little kid soccer and baseball leagues. Parents sit on blankets and sip wine and/or beer from mugs, kids play sports, younger and older siblings run around and play on the playground equipment. The wine and beer there are illegal but no one bats an eye. Are you telling me you'd call the cops on these parents cause alcohol in the park in illegal? Or is that OK to ignore and calling the cops should only be reserved for when it's certain people breaking the law? Cause I doubt anyone here would call the cops on parents responsibly enjoying wine with their picnic while their kids play.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
I'm talking at the public city owned neighbourhood playground where little kids play in their little kid soccer and baseball leagues. Parents sit on blankets and sip wine and/or beer from mugs, kids play sports, younger and older siblings run around and play on the playground equipment. The wine and beer there are illegal but no one bats an eye. Are you telling me you'd call the cops on these parents cause alcohol in the park in illegal? Or is that OK to ignore and calling the cops should only be reserved for when it's certain people breaking the law? Cause I doubt anyone here would call the cops on parents responsibly enjoying wine with their picnic while their kids play.

Actually, I do look at parents drinking in the park as a crime as well.

If you want to do that with your kids around, do it at home.

The first thing that comes to mind when seeing a situation like this is "are they driving the kids home after drinking that beer or wine?"

And if someone is smoking a cigarette in a public park they are breaking the law around here too. We have laws that say you can not smoke within 15 feet of an open window or door, on bus stops, in public parks, or in the car with a minor (under the age of 18).

I do smoke cigarettes and I obey the law. I would never light up at a park around kids because I know it is against the law and I wouldn't subject other peoples children to my smoke. How do I know if they are okay with their kids being around a smoker? And I do it outside of my house and not in my car by my choice (to protect my child from smoke).

Pot is legal in Cali as well. But it is not legal to consume in public. Neither is Alcohol.

Parks are supposed to be safe clean places for kids to play. Not fraked up smoke filled drinking dens.

And yes, I would call the police. Why should I be forced to leave the park with my kid? Let the offending law breaking adult leave.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Parks are supposed to be safe clean places for kids to play. Not fraked up smoke filled drinking dens.

Drinking den, are you serious? Families picnicing together, enjoying the very brief summer, sitting on blankets having a beer or a glass of wine while watching their kids play? That's ridiculous. Maybe I should mention there are cops and their families participating too?

The United States is one wacky world of puritanism. I just can't get my head around it.

The cops here (Canada) would not respond to families enjoying a glass of wine in the park. There's just way too much real crime to take up their shifts.


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## DariusMom (May 29, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
thats so strange to me. are they banning it from places that (imo) people should be allowed to smoke? (ie bars) they did that here and (as a bartender at the time) I think it was dumb.

It's going to be, as far as I understand it, a ban in restaurants and bars. I welcome it.

I'm not and never have been a smoker, but I grew up in a house filled with smoke (mother a cigarette smoker, dad a pipe smoker), so I don't think all smokers are demonic, evil people and I don't think exposure to a stray wind with some cigarette smoke will cause irreparable damage (honestly, even though I'm anti-smoking, some of the stridency and rhetoric is really ridiculous).

However, I'm now really sensitive to smoke and after an hour or so in a bar here my eyes start watering, my nose gets stuffed up, my throat itchy, and I have to leave. So . .. I don't think people should have to leave a place because others are smoking. Let the smokers go outside!

We'll have to agree to disagree that people "should be allowed" to smoke in bars, though I do understand that there is a certain atmospheric element to it that is hard to let go. As far as I'm concerned, though, making life harder for smokers (including my mom!) is ok by me!


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## dancebaraka (Dec 14, 2006)

wow... seems like folks are having some super strong feelings about this issue.

I have lots of opinions about all kinds of stuff people do, but I don't feel like what we need as a culture is more legislation and authoritative control. I do feel that I want myself and my kids to interface with the world. The world is a diverse place. I like that and would much rather have more liberty and freedom over promises of round-the-clock public safety as the majority would define it. I would have done nothing in this situation (or the other one in the thread sharing this title) because, while I have opinions about it, I would not feel my liberty or safety was being threatened. Maybe just my opinions and sensibilities.

And I gently request that we consider what we mean when we use words like "seedy" and "trashy"... what does a person who is "seedy" or "trashy"look like?
is it a person of color?
or just someone different from you??


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
Drinking den, are you serious? Families picnicing together, enjoying the very brief summer, sitting on blankets having a beer or a glass of wine while watching their kids play? That's ridiculous. Maybe I should mention there are cops and their families participating too?

The United States is one wacky world of puritanism. I just can't get my head around it.

The cops here (Canada) would not respond to families enjoying a glass of wine in the park. There's just way too much real crime to take up their shifts.

Drinking and driving is a serious issue. I get even more heated when I hear of parents drinking and driving with their kids in the car. So my concern would be whether or not those parents are planning on driving their kids home after their picnic.

Drunk driving accidents happen all the time. And it is never the driver that dies. It is always the two year old in the backseat or the passenger. That I take very seriously.

And if the cops in Canada have much better things to do then please explain to me why they stand on street corners looking for people not wearing a seat belt to pull over and ticket. When I visited last I got the impression that the Mounties really did need something more important to do.

Seems drinking and driving or smoking up a park would be more serious than looking for grown adults knowingly choosing not to wear a seatbelt. And no, I wasn't pulled over - just warned by family that are locals.


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## JesseMomme (Apr 6, 2002)

Just a joint? ignored it.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
And if the cops in Canada have much better things to do then please explain to me why they stand on street corners looking for people not wearing a seat belt to pull over and ticket. When I visited last I got the impression that the Mounties really did need something more important to do.

I've never seen a Mountie in real life. Maybe you were in a small town? I've only ever lived in cities and there certainly aren't cops pulling people over for seat belt infractions where I live.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
I've never seen a Mountie in real life. Maybe you were in a small town? I've only ever lived in cities and there certainly aren't cops pulling people over for seat belt infractions where I live.

I was in Vancouver. I saw it in the city and on Victoria Island.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Actually, I do look at parents drinking in the park as a crime as well.

If you want to do that with your kids around, do it at home.

The first thing that comes to mind when seeing a situation like this is "are they driving the kids home after drinking that beer or wine?"

That's why there is a thing called blood alcohol level and designated drivers. If someone has one beer or one glass of wine, they will not necessarily be over the limit, nor do you know if they are even driving.

Quote:

Parks are supposed to be safe clean places for kids to play. Not fraked up smoke filled drinking dens.

And yes, I would call the police. Why should I be forced to leave the park with my kid? Let the offending law breaking adult leave.
Even though I don't personally mind, I can see why smoke would bother people. Seeing someone consume an alcoholic beverage (responsibly) however...I guess I don't see how that would be scarring or traumatic for a child. Why would you have to leave upon seeing someone sip a wine cooler or beer?









Sometimes I think adults use "the chilllldren" as an excuse to call people out for things that they simply don't like and to express their disapproval of lifestyles and choices that differ from their own.


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## abac (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:

Sometimes I think adults use "the chilllldren" as an excuse to call people out for things that they simply don't like and to express their disapproval of lifestyles and choices that differ from their own.
Yes. I'm almost positive that unless the children are regularly exposed to cannabis smoke, they had no idea what was going on and the adults were the only ones bothered.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *aran* 
Really? The law was made (where I live) in order to protect the health of waitstaff and bartenders. It was also supported by employers (restaurant and bar owners) who wanted protection from future litigation brought by non-smoking employees that develop lung cancer.

IME 99.999% of people who work in bars, smoke. 95% of people who work in restaurants, smoke. It's a high paced stressful job where you are constantly getting burns, cut, falls, yelling, glass in strange places, throwing things (to and fro)... and the only way to get away is to take a 5 min smoke. just IME


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Sorry to be a spoilsport but could discussion of smoking in restaurants and bars be made into a separate thead? It's not really what this thread is about.


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amitymama* 
Sorry to be a spoilsport but could discussion of smoking in restaurants and bars be made into a separate thead? It's not really what this thread is about.









oop sorry, I'm done. sorry about the hijack.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
oop sorry, I'm done. sorry about the hijack.

No problem!


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

You know now that I think about it I prob would have rounded up the sippy cups, told my kids to take one last trip up the slide, and locked them in the car (unattended).

I would then run back to granny and ask her to share!









of course i am not serious


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abac* 
Yes. I'm almost positive that unless the children are regularly exposed to cannabis smoke, they had no idea what was going on and the adults were the only ones bothered.

I am sure the kids wouldn't know if you were smoking crack either. But where do you draw the line?

You okay with someone smoking crack or meth in front of your kids? I am sure they can't get high from being around the smoke from those drugs right? And I am sure they wouldn't know what the adults were doing. So is that okay too?


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## kriket (Nov 25, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
I am sure the kids wouldn't know if you were smoking crack either. But where do you draw the line?

You okay with someone smoking crack or meth in front of your kids? I am sure they can't get high from being around the smoke from those drugs right? And I am sure they wouldn't know what the adults were doing. So is that okay too?

humm, pot and crack is apples and bananas.


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## abac (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
humm, pot and crack is apples and bananas.

Or what if someone is drinking a coffee? Where do you draw the line?


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
I am sure the kids wouldn't know if you were smoking crack either. But where do you draw the line?

You okay with someone smoking crack or meth in front of your kids? I am sure they can't get high from being around the smoke from those drugs right? And I am sure they wouldn't know what the adults were doing. So is that okay too?

I know I'm in the minority here but my kid has been in the park when people were doing crack and smack. It's a reality where I live. What someone is quietly doing off to the side isn't what concerns me; what concerns me is how he/she/they're acting. If someone starts behaving in a way that is disruptive and upsetting to myself or my child we leave. But in all the years I've lived in our neighbourhood it's never happened - mostly people keep to themselves and nod off at a picnic bench. It might get messy after dark (can sometimes hear fights) but during the day if someone's getting high it's alone and to nod off in the sun.


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Or running there exhaust producing vehicle near the playground!!


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kriket* 
humm, pot and crack is apples and bananas.

I disagree. Just because one is more socially acceptable in certain circumstances does not mean they are apples and oranges (or bananas).

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abac* 
Or what if someone is drinking a coffee? Where do you draw the line?

Is coffee illegal to consume in public? I know it is legal where I live.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
*I know I'm in the minority here but my kid has been in the park when people were doing crack and smack. It's a reality where I live.* What someone is quietly doing off to the side isn't what concerns me; what concerns me is how he/she/they're acting. If someone starts behaving in a way that is disruptive and upsetting to myself or my child we leave. But in all the years I've lived in our neighbourhood it's never happened - mostly people keep to themselves and nod off at a picnic bench. It might get messy after dark (can sometimes hear fights) but during the day if someone's getting high it's alone and to nod off in the sun.

I don't think you are so far in the minority here. My neighborhood is the same. There is a drug house down the block and the park around the corner is a magnet for pot/crack/meth smoking.

I am still not okay with someone doing it in a place where my kid plays. And I shouldn't have to leave because I am uncomfortable. Parks are for children and the parents supervising them. In fact, some parks in LA have signs that if you are not with a child, you are not allowed to enter.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
Or running there exhaust producing vehicle near the playground!!


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
The first thing that comes to mind when seeing a situation like this is "are they driving the kids home after drinking that beer or wine?".

Well, I live in the city, and it would never cross my mind that someone would drive to or from a park. Around here we walk or take public transport.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Parks are supposed to be safe clean places for kids to play. Not fraked up smoke filled drinking dens.

Parks are recreational facilities for people of all ages. They are not supposed to be exclusively for kids.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
I am still not okay with someone doing it in a place where my kid plays. And I shouldn't have to leave because I am uncomfortable. Parks are for children and the parents supervising them. In fact, some parks in LA have signs that if you are not with a child, you are not allowed to enter.

I see parks differently. I have never come across a park which limits who is allowed in it. Are those private parks? For me (and the city in which I live) parks are for everyone and that includes everyone in our neighbourhood. If someone is being disruptive we'd leave whether it was a child bullying my son and the parent not helping out or a dog off its leash with no owner in site, or someone with mental health issues acting out or someone using and acting out. If that same adult or child and his/her behaviour was a continued problem day after day and I'd try talking to him/her (given it were safe) to no avail then I'd call the non-emergency line when I got home and asked if during their regular patrols the cops could swing by the park more often. But if someone's just getting high and keeping to themselves? Why would I call? No one's in danger and my child's enjoyment of the park isn't being hindered.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
Well, I live in the city, and it would never cross my mind that someone would drive to or from a park. Around here we walk or take public transport.

Parks are recreational facilities for people of all ages. They are not supposed to be exclusively for kids.

We drive to the park (because the one in our neighborhood is not well kept and people smoke crack and pot in ours).

I live in Los Angeles so I am in the city too. No one walks or takes the bus around here. Are you on the east coast? I ask because everyone drives in our area.

There are signs all over at some parks that adults must be accompanied by children. There are fines involved if you enter without a child. This is in an attempt to keep out homeless people and pedophiles (not calling homeless pedophiles - just that those are the issues that created the need for signs).

Are we talking about the same thing? I am talking about a playground. Not a state park with hiking, etc.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Are we talking about the same thing? I am talking about a playground. Not a state park with hiking, etc.

Yep, same thing. Regular urban, city owned, neighbourhood park. Here they're for everyone. Everyone.

I know LA is different but I don't know anyone who drives to a neighbourhood park. No one here would drive to a park.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
Yep, same thing. Regular urban, city owned, neighbourhood park. Here they're for everyone. Everyone.

I know LA is different but I don't know anyone who drives to a neighbourhood park. No one here would drive to a park.

We always drive to the park. Everyone does here.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby* 
We always drive to the park. Everyone does here.

Are you urban or suburban? I just can't imagine driving less than a block. We have two parks within two blocks of our house. All the neighbourhoods here are like that. And because it's downtown there's no parking other than metered so there'd be no where to put a car if you drive unless you're lucky enough to get a spot but then you pay every half hour.


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## littleaugustbaby (Jun 27, 2003)

We're suburban, but even when we lived in the city, we would drive. There is one park within walking distance of our house, but the playground area is way too close to a busy road, so nobody uses it.

Most of the parks here, even the ones in residential areas, are not really pedestrian acessible...our parks here usually have large parking lots.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby* 

Most of the parks here, even the ones in residential areas, are not really pedestrian acessible...our parks here usually have large parking lots.

That's kinda sad. Not even in the 'burbs can they put in a sidewalk and make it possible for people to walk there? Sounds like the town I grew up in.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *littleaugustbaby* 
We're suburban, but even when we lived in the city, we would drive. There is one park within walking distance of our house, but the playground area is way too close to a busy road, so nobody uses it.

Most of the parks here, even the ones in residential areas, are not really pedestrian acessible...our parks here usually have large parking lots.

For some reason, the idea of a park with a parking lot just cracks me up


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *choli* 
For some reason, the idea of a park with a parking lot just cracks me up









Pretty much all the parks around here have lots.

Same in Vegas.

I would bet most of the hotter in the summer cities have them too.

Not that strange really if you think about it.


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

we walk to the 3 parks that are right by our house, but we will drive to parks in other parts of the city.

We do not have parking lots at our parks. We are very pedestrian friendly









I think the laws at the LA playgrounds are obviously about classism. (is that even a word?







)
They are to keep out the "Undesirables" such as the homeless. How would it keep pedophiles out of parks? Lots of pedophiles have kids, and unless I am missing something most of them hang out with kids...so a "No admittance without a child" rule is used to exclude homeless ppl. IMO

Wow., Another good reason not to move to LA


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

wow, just wow. people enjoying a drink with their kids around are committing criminal acts?! to me that does signal the moral downfall of my own dear nation. the fact that people support punishment for those who have a beer or lite up a cigarette within sight/scent/sound of children because it is illegal rather than exhibiting shock at the fact that it is illegal is so incredibly disturbing. the fact that something is illegal does not make it child abuse. i keep hearing IT'S ILLEGAL IT's ILLEGAL. the legality or illegality of an act is not what decides its moral value. if that were true just think of all the terrible things that would still be going on. are we so crippled by living in the thick of the bureaucratic age that we must call upon law officers - the "proper authority" to do something that could easily and without costing precious tax payer money by simply asking someone to move over.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dubfam* 
we walk to the 3 parks that are right by our house, but we will drive to parks in other parts of the city.

We do not have parking lots at our parks. We are very pedestrian friendly









I think the laws at the LA playgrounds are obviously about classism. (is that even a word?







)
They are to keep out the "Undesirables" such as the homeless. How would it keep pedophiles out of parks? Lots of pedophiles have kids, and unless I am missing something most of them hang out with kids...so a "No admittance without a child" rule is used to exclude homeless ppl. IMO

Wow., Another good reason not to move to LA









I am sure there are things in Portland that would make me never want to move there either.

Call me classist all you want but I do not think there is any reason for a Homeless person to camp out on a playground.

Yes, pedophiles probably have some children - that is true. But we did have a self proclaimed peodphile who said he had never acted on his feelings posting pictures and videos of little girls and boys on his internet page for the enjoyment of others like him. He was hanging out in those parks. I saw him once at a mall food court. It was all over the news and MDC.

The man had no children. He didn't belong at the park. Nor do people without children who only come to drink some beer/wine or smoke weed or crack. Do it at home, not where my kid plays.

But hey, I didn't make the laws. I doubt it was even put on a ballot. I think it was a city counsel ordinance.


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird* 
are we so crippled by living in the thick of the bureaucratic age that we must call upon law officers - the "proper authority" to do something that could easily and without costing precious tax payer money by simply asking someone to move over.

If you asked someone in my neighborhood, you would probably end up in a violent confrontation that leads to the 5pm news headline...

"mom asks druggie to put it out and gets shot in front of her toddler"

At least where I come from.

I think we should be able to ask our neighbor to move on down. But reality for a lot of us is it isn't so simple.

Now, if I lived in Lowell, IN (I just got back from a visit with family there) it would be a different story. I would feel okay asking someone to move down. But not gonna happen here.


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## Marcee (Jan 23, 2007)

I would like to believe that old granny needed it for medical purposes. Is that possible? Perhaps that is why she felt she could light up at a public park? Also enlighten me, is there a level that one has to smoke before driving the grandkids home would be illegal? Did she reach that level? (I have never smoke anything so I have no clue) If I felt the kids were in danger I would have called the police... But I have never really been around mj so I really would have no clue...


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## dawn1221 (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Marcee* 
I would like to believe that old granny needed it for medical purposes. Is that possible? Perhaps that is why she felt she could light up at a public park? Also enlighten me, is there a level that one has to smoke before driving the grandkids home would be illegal? Did she reach that level? (I have never smoke anything so I have no clue) If I felt the kids were in danger I would have called the police... But I have never really been around mj so I really would have no clue...

I do not believe there is any acceptable level for avoiding a DUI. It really isn't like alcohol in that way.

My best comparison is someone who takes painkillers. If you pop a vicodan at the park then drive your kids then crash on the way you will get a DUI.


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## JesseMomme (Apr 6, 2002)

I personally wouldn't worry about someone who had a joint and got behind a wheel, especially if they had a tolerance like grannie probably has. It's not an impairment the way alcohol is an impairment (with slowing down your reaction time, etc). In fact, I often found (riding around with friends back in the day) that the speedometer needle stayed perfectly on or right below the speed limit and they drove just like normal, aware and all.


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Call me classist all you want but I do not think there is any reason for a Homeless person to camp out on a playground.

the play structures provide some protection from the elements at night. if you go too far and don't get back in time somebody's taken your spot. that's a big deal. families with kids often leave virtually untouched left overs in the trash. the nicer ones will offer them to you before they toss them. plus, kids playing are cheerful.

i guarantee most of the pedophiles at the park came with their own kids.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Call me classist all you want but I do not think there is any reason for a Homeless person to camp out on a playground.

Because there is grass to sit in or take off one's shoes and walk on, and there are trees (shade) and benches and people milling about and even the homeless have a need to be around other people; same reason the elderly and other adults love parks. Because humans are social beings. Because they are a part of the neighbourhood and have every right to use its resources.

For us the homeless in our neighbourhood are our neighbours. We know most of them and look forward to chatting with them when we're out and about and that includes when we're at the park. They're just as important to our feeling connected to our neighbourhood as our neighbours in houses and apartments are. I'm thankful my son has gotten to know so many and they him because one day soon he'll be roaming the neighbourhood on his own and I like knowing there are people around who know him and know he's my child so if in the off chance something happened and he didn't come home I could canvas the neighbourhood and there would be people at our regular haunts who could tell me whether he passed by or not.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
And what would he have done? Really? Cause by the time you called and a cop arrived (if one did - I know in my neighbourhood they wouldn't respond cause they didn't see anything and the deal is over and they know by the time they get there the woman would likely be gone and/or the joint smoked) there would likely be no joint and the dealer would be gone. So the cop would do what? No drugs being smoked and the deal is over. How exactly would he intervene? What is there to do? And if she was still smoking the joint you can bet she wouldn't be before the cop left the cruiser by so again there'd be nothing for a cop to do.


My point was that if DH was there (with our children), he would have intervened.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird*
i guarantee most of the pedophiles at the park came with their own kids.

I don't mean to sound confrontational, but what are you basing this guarantee off of?

Quote:

to me that does signal the moral downfall of my own dear nation. the fact that people support punishment for those who have a beer or lite up a cigarette within sight/scent/sound of children because it is illegal rather than exhibiting shock at the fact that it is illegal is so incredibly disturbing.
And, imo, the downfall is the fact that so many want to brush off responsibility for what they think is wrong/right and what they want to do. Laws are in place to protect people and if someone feels like breaking them, don't put others in harm. If people pick and choose which laws to abide by, where does it stop? How can you slant that to make it 'fair'? IMO, it's easier to keep it black and white.

Of course, I wouldn't drink in front of my children, ever.


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 

And, imo, the downfall is the fact that so many want to brush off responsibility for what they think is wrong/right and what they want to do. *Laws are in place to protect people and if someone feels like breaking them, don't put others in harm. If people pick and choose which laws to abide by, where does it stop? How can you slant that to make it 'fair'? IMO, it's easier to keep it black and white.*

Of course, I wouldn't drink in front of my children, ever.

So I am assuming that you always drive the exact speed limit etc?


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## thismama (Mar 3, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
I don't mean to sound confrontational, but what are you basing this guarantee off of?

OT - But I bet she is basing it off the fact that the vast majority of children who experience sexual abuse do so at the hands of males they know... fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, neighbours, etc.


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## thebarkingbird (Dec 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
I don't mean to sound confrontational, but what are you basing this guarantee off of?

• *40% of the offenders of victims under age 6 were themselves juveniles. A similar proportion (39%) of offenders of victims ages 6 through 11 were also juveniles.* For older juvenile victims, the proportion of juvenile offenders dropped to 27%.
- Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement,
7/00, NCJ 182990, U.S. Department of Justice

•Adults were the offender in 60% of the sexual assaults of youth under age 12. *Rarely were the offenders of young victims strangers. Strangers were the offender in just 3% of sexual assaults against victims under age 6 and 5% of the sexual assault of victimizations of youth ages 6 through 11.*
-Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement,
7/00, NCJ 182990, U.S. Department of Justice

so i guess i should have said most of them came with the children, knew them, or were children themselves. my point was that strangers are not the major threat. i don't think you were being confrontational in a rude way. those are seriously creepy stats. i understand why someone would not want to think about them often and that is why we look for the sinister stranger when the monsters are, more likely than not, much closer to home.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
And, imo, the downfall is the fact that so many want to brush off responsibility for what they think is wrong/right and what they want to do. Laws are in place to protect people and if someone feels like breaking them, don't put others in harm. If people pick and choose which laws to abide by, where does it stop? How can you slant that to make it 'fair'? IMO, it's easier to keep it black and white.

it is easier to keep it black and white (if you are the kind of person who is happy conducting your most personal business exactly according to large scale committee plan) but i am not convinced it's better. laws do not describe right and wrong. in a healthy society they articulate the absolute outer limits of acceptable behavior. prohibitions against murder, rape, blatant abuse are all great ideas. there can be no argument among reasonable people that these things are unhealthy and the risk to the individual perpetrating those harms does not outweigh the risk to others of letting them go on unchecked. i defy anyone to find an ethicist or spiritual leader who would disagree with me on that one point. laws about where we can and can't smoke, what kind of beverages we can sip in certain places, what we can and can't wear in public (there was just a "baggy pants ordinance passed in my town and i'm livid!) do not, in any way deal with things that are necessary for safety. the cost of regulating them is huge and they impinge on the freedoms of people to live as they wish. now that i have children i am somewhat more law abiding than i once was out of fear and fear alone. i am sometimes ashamed of that. in what kind of country do we live when we must choose to follow a million little rules or risk state involvement in our homes? a little piece of my integrity falls away each time i make a concession to one of those rules. i do not want my children to learn about this ugly reality until they are older. i have no problem at all with you not wanting to drink in front of your kids. you have your reasons. people who have the luxury of being happy in the status quo do however tend to loose sight of the real issue:

you have no reasonable freedom to change your mind. the law is less fickle than individuals but beurocriacy have moods as well. what happens if the mood changes? do you have to change your code of ethics as well?

in order for our free will to be exercised reasonably and well we need our laws to be few and reasonable. we need to be actively engaged in making a real variety of real choices. right now we have only one choice. do i follow the law or not?

what happens to children who grow up in such regulated societies. there is the law to tell them where to play, who can be near them while they're doing so, where their parents can smoke, what they can bring with them to school for lunch, etc. these are incredibly intimate choices! what happens when they have to make another very personal decision not covered by the law? their moral muscles are out of tone. "do i want to rot my lungs with tar" seems no more personal than "do i cheat on my girlfriend" how are kids/teens supposed to figure out what to do?

keeping things black and white and then outsourcing the job of discipline concerning personal choices is a bad plan.

when it comes to people endangering others with their bad habits the law really ought to stick to the concept of clear and present danger. we cannot go around replacing the right to freedom with the right to safety. one is possible and the other is not. you cannot have the right to an impossibility. people shouldn't drive drunk. that presents a clear threat. people shouldn't beat other people up. again a clear threat. infrequent exposure to cigarette smoke does not cause any kind of lasting harm. it is merely sub optimal. our constitution ensures that we have the basic rights to peruse our own lives as we wish. it never ensures our right lo leading totally optimal lives. any attempt to do so will end badly.


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

Haven't read the thread but I could care less if Granny sparks a doobie at the park.

And I could give a hoot if it's illegal. It's wrong that it's illegal, so that part of it is irrelevant to me. As long as she doesn't harrass the children then she is just fine. For all I know it is the medicine that helps her.

Would it be *better* if she did it at home? Sure. But I wish a lot of people would do a lot of things in their home, so I can't get all bent out of shape about it.


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## karina5 (Apr 15, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *intorainbowz* 

Oh, and since I sleep with a cop and a soldier, men with guns ain't that big a thing here. Neither are women with guns. I'd much rather have a trained, background checked, officer of the law there with his or her gun than the drug dealer, who I'd bet you lots of cash had a stolen, illegal, unlicensed gun on him.


Really? So the cop you sleep with isn't one of those that has the best weed? Huh. All the cops I know think the War on Drugs is a big fat waste o' time, taxpayer dollar, and seriously lacking in common sense.


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 

Of course, I wouldn't drink in front of my children, ever.

Assuming that you do have the occasional drink when they're not around, I think it's unfortunate that you've decided to NEVER drink in front of them. They won't ever see the adults they know and trust enjoying an alcoholic beverage responsibly, they'll only have the images they see on tv, out in public, etc..


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## Hoopin' Mama (Sep 9, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
Yep, same thing. Regular urban, city owned, neighbourhood park. Here they're for everyone. Everyone.

I know LA is different but I don't know anyone who drives to a neighbourhood park. No one here would drive to a park.


We drive, and most people I know drive. I wish we could walk.
If I still lived in WNY, I would be walking.
Never seen a sign about limiting who is at the park. That is so weird!


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Hoopin' Mama* 
Never seen a sign about limiting who is at the park. That is so weird!

Seriously, in LA it doesn't surprise me a bit


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## amyleigh33 (Nov 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
I know I'm in the minority here but my kid has been in the park when people were doing crack and smack. It's a reality where I live. ...


Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
Some of the statements are so classist....

THANK you. I am REALLY sad that there are MDC mamas who are so obsessed with "legal" and "illegal" with no apparent regard for the reality that most laws are in place to protect upper class property and upper class values. This is not just some socialist or anarchist assumption--it is a fact of bloody history. Why is pot illegal in the U.S. and Canada? Because they are racist, capitalist "democracies" and in the early 20th century pot was considered a "black" and "poor" people's drug and upper- and middle- class crusaders made it illegal.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *thebarkingbird* 
. are we so crippled by living in the thick of the bureaucratic age that we must call upon law officers - the "proper authority" to do something that could easily and without costing precious tax payer money by simply asking someone to move over.

Yes.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Laggie* 
Well... I live in Vancouver so things are different here. I don't think I've ever been to the park and NOT smelled pot. Or walked down the street. I wouldn't have even noticed.

I was thinking that, too. I doubt I'd have noticed, except maybe to register the smell in the back of my mind. I don't particularly like that people smoke dope in public places, especially parks and playgrounds, but it's just not a big deal to me. I certainly wouldn't call the police.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amitymama* 
Assuming that you do have the occasional drink when they're not around, I think it's unfortunate that you've decided to NEVER drink in front of them.

Seriously? So you're saying that I should drink in front of my children to teach them a life lesson? I prefer to teach the lesson of 'I don't like to drink so I don't and that's okay'.

Quote:

They won't ever see the adults they know and trust enjoying an alcoholic beverage responsibly, they'll only have the images they see on tv, out in public, etc..
*I* don't drink in front of them. DH may have a beer or two once every few months or so.

It's not like we hide alcohol from them and/or don't discuss it. My children are very aware of alcohol and it's affect on the body and mind. DH is a cop for crying out loud. Trust me, we talk to them candidly, honestly and openly.

*thebarkingbird* - I really appreciate your post and I agree with much of what you said. I guess I choose to obey the laws because I think it's a scary line when people start picking and choosing which ones are 'acceptable' to them. I know many think marijuana should be legalized or prostitution should be. Heck, in Australia, child pornography is legal. It's easier for me to keep it black and white because it's less stressful and makes me feel safer. Gosh, I hope that made sense...


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## abac (Mar 10, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS*
I guess I choose to obey the laws because I think it's a scary line when people start picking and choosing which ones are 'acceptable' to them. I know many think marijuana should be legalized or prostitution should be. Heck, in Australia, child pornography is legal. It's easier for me to keep it black and white because it's less stressful and makes me feel safer. Gosh, I hope that made sense...

No, no, no. It's scary when people decide to blindly obey a bunch of rules, most of which were written up by people who are long gone, for no other reason than that it's a law. There are a HUGE number of very stupid laws, and there is no way I'm going to follow them when I don't agree with them. I'm careful not to get caught doing things that could have severe consequences for me.

OT: Your entire family is super cute!


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## dubfam (Nov 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *dawn1221* 
Nothing. I just would rather not have them hanging out at my kids local playground.

Believe me, if you had the population of homeless like we do here you would probably feel the same way.

Google Santa Monica and homeless population. Very rich city and magnet for homeless migration (weather is great, people are happy to help, great shelters, etc.). I am happy to help when I can (been a bit broke lately but I do my part).

I just don't think they should be setting up camps at my kids playground. There are many many many other places to hang, trust me.


Sounds like Portland...but we don't exclude them from playgrounds like that. There are some ordinances that can get you banned from a park for 90 days for a variety of infractions. I am completely opposed to this law (unconstitutional) and I would be furious if we made our playgrounds and parks off limits to some people.

There are plenty of people (like myself) who don't find the homeless population to be any less desirable than the rest of society.


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## BelovedK (Jun 7, 2005)

Hi









a few posts had to be removed, one is awaiting edits. I, and I am sure countless others, are enjoying this conversation. Remember that we encourage healthy debate, but have to draw the line when we start to take our personal issues with some of the posters out in the thread, it would be better to take some things out in pm.

remember, play nice







This is a sensitive subject and I am so impressed by the way everyone is handling it.


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## SAHDS (Mar 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *abac* 
No, no, no. It's scary when people decide to blindly obey a bunch of rules, most of which were written up by people who are long gone, for no other reason than that it's a law. There are a HUGE number of very stupid laws, and there is no way I'm going to follow them when I don't agree with them. I'm careful not to get caught doing things that could have severe consequences for me.

Although I don't agree with the "no, no, no" since it was just my opinion, I wasn't saying anything for fact, I completely understand your post. I do think some laws are silly and unnecessary, but I still follow them. Maybe it stems from my DH being a cop or from myself growing up around a huge family of law-breakers (you name it, my relatives have done it). Or maybe I'm simply a prude, LOL.

That being said, if I strongly disagreed with a law, who knows, I may choose not to follow it. I haven't found any that meet that criteria yet, for me.

Quote:

OT: Your entire family is super cute!
Well thank you very much


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## amitymama (Nov 17, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *SAHDS* 
Seriously? So you're saying that I should drink in front of my children to teach them a life lesson? I prefer to teach the lesson of 'I don't like to drink so I don't and that's okay'.

*I* don't drink in front of them. DH may have a beer or two once every few months or so.

It's not like we hide alcohol from them and/or don't discuss it. My children are very aware of alcohol and it's affect on the body and mind. DH is a cop for crying out loud. Trust me, we talk to them candidly, honestly and openly.

You didn't say that you don't drink at all in your first post, that's why I said 'assuming you do have the occasional drink' because you just said "I would never drink _in front of_ my children." If you don't drink at all then of course it would be silly to do so just to teach them a lesson.

Not sure what your DH being a cop has to do with talking to your children openly about alcohol, but I'm glad he does!


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