# Toddler throwing things.



## chrfath (Jun 5, 2003)

I hate not having the search function, so if this has been addressed, please point me in that direction.

My DD who is all over developmentally most likely closest to 18 -24mo overall has been throwing everything.







: We play ball alot and she knows the whole ball is for throwing routine. She is on level with her receptive language but very delayed in expressive.

She has a number of occasions for throwing and will sometimes just throw something and say "no" while looking at me. I guess saying no doesn't really work.







I hardly ever said no to my DS, but he was a much different child.

Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas? I know she needs a radical change in her diet, but food also gets thrown so that isn't going so well.

Please share any thoughts or ideas you may have. I am really getting worried about how things are going with her. My DS said ignoring it is just a bad idea "because she will think it is okay." He is a pretty smart kid. I worry about how long these habits/stages will stay around or become permanent with her delays.

Thanks.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Hmmm... when my 21 month old dd throws something that I would prefer she doesn't throw I usually redirect her to something she can throw. I'll tell her "x isn't for throwing it might break/hurt someone". I mention how the "good to throw" thing is soft so it can't hurt anything. Alternately I'll show her a diff way of using what she's been throwing (like pushing the toy car on the ground instead of throwing it).

Maybe you could also take her outside for some concentrated throwing time so she gets it out of her system.

ETA - I was wondering what kind of a reaction she gets when she throws something? I wouldn't just ignore the behaviour, but I would make my response as calm as possible. I could see a kiddo getting a kick out of a big "oh my god look at this huge mess" type of response.


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## DevaMajka (Jul 4, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *pianojazzgirl*
Hmmm... when my 21 month old dd throws something that I would prefer she doesn't throw I usually redirect her to something she can throw. I'll tell her "x isn't for throwing it might break/hurt someone". I mention how the "good to throw" thing is soft so it can't hurt anything. Alternately I'll show her a diff way of using what she's been throwing (like pushing the toy car on the ground instead of throwing it).

ita.
Ds has started throwing stuff more. Soft stuff is ok to throw here. Hard stuff, in general, is not. And not throwing stuff AT people. But dp is ok with throwing hard stuff (he does it sometimes







) and with ds throwing stuff at him, so we are working on telling ds that most people don't like having stuff thrown at them, especially hard stuff. It could hurt people. And *I* am one of those people. I don't like things being thrown at me, whether it hurts me or not.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chrfath*
She has a number of occasions for throwing and will sometimes just throw something and say "no" while looking at me. I guess saying no doesn't really work.

"NO" means that YOU will stop her. kwim? It doesn't necessarily mean to her what it means to you. You see it as "stop yourself from throwing" she sees it as "mom will stop me from throwing." And even when she does put it together that SHE should stop herself, her impulse control isn't that developed for her to *reliably* stop herself.
If she is in the moment, seconds away from throwing, tell her to throw it in a basket, or whatever. It is way easier for my ds to "throw it over that way" than to "don't throw that at me" kwim?

It seems like you are concerned about the longer term effects of her throwing stuff. I redirect while honoring the impulse (like pianojazzgirl said), I tell him what TO do, and I tell him why he shouldn't throw stuff. None of it is a big reaction. Its just talking, yk?


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## chrfath (Jun 5, 2003)

Thanks everyone. Good things to think on and apply. The directed throwing is really working. She threw one handful of bird seed at us before I realized what she was going to do. Then I asked her to please throw the seeds in the grass so the birds could have it. She was very happy with that choice.

Thanks! This too shall pass.


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## pianojazzgirl (Apr 6, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *chrfath*
Thanks everyone. Good things to think on and apply. The directed throwing is really working. She threw one handful of bird seed at us before I realized what she was going to do. Then I asked her to please throw the seeds in the grass so the birds could have it. She was very happy with that choice.

Thanks! This too shall pass.

I'm so glad that it's working for you!


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