# How would you handle this situation re: driving someone else's child in unsafe car seat?



## BetterTogether (Jan 26, 2009)

Today I helped a friend by driving the child she babysits. It was a very short distance this time, but I keep thinking about the future.









The child is 18.5 months old, and MAYBE weighs 30 lb, I'm not really even sure if she weighs that much. The car seat given to me is the child's principal car seat. It's a booster seat for children at least 30 lb. Even if she were to meet the weight requirement, it uses the car's seatbelt. There is no way this child is developmentally ready for wearing a regular seatbelt...She really needs a five point harness. I went to get her out, and she had maneuvered the shoulder harness behind her - no clue how she managed that.

The only other car seat option, I discovered, is that her grandmother drives her in a forward facing infant carrier that probably has a limit of 22/ 24 lb! The poor little girl looks HUGE in it, and I can't imagine it's doing much good not even strapped in rear facing like it's meant to be.

Would you not drive this child again, knowing that these car seats were unsafe? I feel like this could be a liability for me. More than this, I'm concerned for this little girl's safety but don't want to come across as judgmental in sharing with the family.


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

I would not drive the child in an unsafe seat like that. Not only should she be in a harnessed seat, but she should be rear-facing. I would tell my friend straight-up that it's dangerous, and I would not want to be liable for putting the child's life at risk.

She, as the babysitter, should also refuse - and if the parents don't provide a safe seat, then she should for use in her car, or not drive the little girl around anywhere.

Also let her know it's illegal.


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## K-Mom3 (Apr 27, 2009)

The driver is legally responsible for anybody in the car under the age of 16. So if you were pulled over, you could get a ticket because the child wasn't restrained according to the laws.

I probably wouldn't drive the child and I WOULD be concerned for her safely...but it is hard to know what to do. Most people aren't willing to listen. You could mention that the child had gotten out of the shoulder strap and suggest that she talk to a seat inspector about a more appropriate seat. Once I had an inspection and the person decided that the seat wasn't going to work in my car and "traded" me for a new seat that worked. She had some source of funding that allowed her to give out quite a few seats every year. It would probably be worth looking into what is available in your area. Try seatcheck.org


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## MJB (Nov 28, 2009)

I would not drive a child in a seat *that* unsafe. I'd probably drive a 3 yr. old in a booster but not an 18 mo. old, no way. And definitely not the infant carrier! Yikes.
I'd try to say something as gently as possible about how the seats are unsafe and I didn't want to chance it in my car.


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## dogretro (Jun 17, 2008)

Nope, I would NOT drive her. You could get sued out the wazoo if there was a wreck or v badly fined if pulled over. I agree that you should at least tell your babysitter friend that it is illegal to use those seats & that _she_ should tell the parents &, if necessary, provide her own seat. She can get a Cosco seat for about fifty dollars. A good investment for her b/c she can use it for other kids she sits for, too.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

Yeah, I wouldn't drive her either. In either of those seats. Ever. Not worth the risk - either of getting pulled over and fined, or of gettin in an accident and said child being killed. Just not worth it.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

I wouldn't have this problem because I already would've lost her as a friend by exclaiming "you're







kidding, right? where's her real car seat?"


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## BetterTogether (Jan 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
I wouldn't have this problem because I already would've lost her as a friend by exclaiming "you're







kidding, right? where's her real car seat?"

lol! Thanks everyone...
I think I might just mention about the strap and how it concerned me and then go from there.


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## BetterTogether (Jan 26, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *K-Mom3* 
The driver is legally responsible for anybody in the car under the age of 16. So if you were pulled over, you could get a ticket because the child wasn't restrained according to the laws.

I probably wouldn't drive the child and I WOULD be concerned for her safely...but it is hard to know what to do. Most people aren't willing to listen. You could mention that the child had gotten out of the shoulder strap and suggest that she talk to a seat inspector about a more appropriate seat. Once I had an inspection and the person decided that the seat wasn't going to work in my car and "traded" me for a new seat that worked. She had some source of funding that allowed her to give out quite a few seats every year. It would probably be worth looking into what is available in your area. Try seatcheck.org

That's a great link, thank you so much.


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## JennaW (Oct 11, 2007)

No way. I would be willing to drive her in a a 5 point harness seat forward facing if that is the direction the parents wanted her but a BOOSTER seat? No way.

I just took on a babysitting gig for my friends two sons and one of my first questions was: do you have extra car seats? are they 5 point harnesses or boosters? She has a 3 and 5 y/o. The 5 y/o is in a booster, the 3 y/o in a 5 pt harness. While I would have my own 5 y/o in a 5 pt, I am comfortable enough with situation. However, if her 5 y/o can not sit in his seat properly he will be put in a 5 point harness. Safety is non-negotiable.


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## phathui5 (Jan 8, 2002)

If something happened and you had her in an improper car seat like that, I think that you would be responsible for it.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BetterTogether* 
lol! Thanks everyone...
I think I might just mention about the strap and how it concerned me and then go from there.









: that it goes well. Definitely bring it up with her *before* she needs a ride again.


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## luv-my-boys (Dec 8, 2008)

No way would I feel comfortable driving that child at all. first off I would be scared of what might happen obviously that child is not properly restrained which is not only a injury waiting to happen but is illegal. You can be fined as the driver of the vehicle and honestly I wouldnt feel comfortable doing so.

We had a similar situation in which we were asked to carpool for one of my DS' activitities because we had a large vehicle that could accomodate a lot of the boys and at least 2 parents. The first thing out of DH's mouth was EVERY child had to bring a back booster or appropriate carseat (I personally am not comfortable with backless boosters especially with this particular bunch of children) There were a few *snarky* remarks from some of the parents but I quickly followed up with "well its my vehicle and im responsible for the safety of those in it. you more than welcome to drive your own child. but these are my rules for my vehicle"


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

"Nope, I only drive kids in LEGAL car seats."

To me, that's not being judgemental or picky. Like, maybe you wince at having a 13 month old (over 20 pounds) forward facing, but it's legal. What you have described is nowhere near legal, and it's not a gray area.

If you're afraid of sounding judgemental, you could just put the emphasis on YOU. "I don't want to get pulled over and I don't want the liability." It's kind of funny that making it into a selfish thing is more polite than being concerned for the safety of a child, but there ya go. It's hard to argue with someone who doesn't want to get ticketed.


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