# Will & Grace - drinking while pregnant?



## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

Forgive me, I had no idea which forum to post this in, but I am really mad about this.

Debra Messing, the actress who plays Grace on NBC's Will & Grace, is quite noticably pregnant. I UNDERSTAND that the character is not pregnant, just the actress playing her. They are trying to hide it, but only so much can be done with wardrobe and blocking... she is obviously pregnant.

Yet they keep having Grace drink wine! It gives the appearance that a pregnant woman is sitting around drinking wine without a care in the world. Unless you're an avid watcher of the show, that's what you're going to think NBC is portraying. (The only reason I know the character isn't supposed to be pregnant is I researched it online... I don't watch the show regularly but it is on sometimes.)

I was upset enough with this ethical faux pas that I emailed NBC about it. If you'd like to do so the email addy is [email protected]

Am I wrong? Overreacting? The first one to notice this? Or is everybody already up in arms about it and I missed it?


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## mischievium (Feb 9, 2003)

I don't know... I've seen the show and I assumed that the drinking what appears to be wine was part of their attempt to "conceal" Deborah Messing's pregnancy by having her character Grace continue to do what she normally did. I was not personally offended, though I see how you might be.
It is my, perhaps mistaken, understanding that the majority of women out there understand that drinking during pregnancy can be potentially harmful to the fetus-- if this were a less widely known potential risk, then I'd be more concerned about NBCs decision.


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## Snowy Owl (Nov 16, 2003)

I'm approaching third trimester and have occasional small glasses of wine.
Does that offend you?


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## Elphaba (Nov 19, 2001)

I think you're overreacting and reading too much into it. It's a fictional character, who isn't pregnant. It's not like Grace is shopping for baby clothes and nursing bras and simultaneously getting drunk. They never mention a baby, so even a new viewer likely assume she was just fat.

You won't have to be bothered by it anymore though, as the Grace character has been written off the show for the remainder of the season.

I think that you obviously have a caring spirit and activist impulses, but this "issue" really doesn't deserve your energies.


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## daylily (Dec 1, 2001)

I'm sure that it isn't *real* wine, so I don't think anyone need fear for the health of Messing's baby. I wouldn't be offended, even if her character was supposed to be pregnant. I drank the occaisional glass of wine when pregnant.


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## Dakota's Mom (Apr 8, 2003)

The problem with this is that no one knows how much wine is safe to drink while you are pregnant. Is an occasional glass of wine safe? No one knows. I do know the effects of fetal alcohol syndrome. and it's not good. I've seen moms who drank gallons every day have healthy kids, and moms who rarely drink have kids with FAS. No one knows how your baby will be affected. Are you willing to take that risk?.

Kathi


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## Snowy Owl (Nov 16, 2003)

There was a whole big debate about this a couple of months ago in the I'm Pregnant forum, for any who didn't see it. It pretty much covered all the bases.
My own personal definition is that if I drink a small amount with a good sized meal and do not notice any effects, then that is a safe amount. I am not comfortable defining the 'safe limit' for others, however. That's up to them!


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## isleta (Nov 25, 2002)

ITA! Umm..again:LOL


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## guestmama9924 (Mar 16, 2002)

Quote:

*I'm approaching third trimester and have occasional small glasses of wine.Does that offend you?*
doesn't offend me!
cheers!


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

1st of all - no one would think Messing is just fat! She looks pregnant, not fat! The *only* way you'd think she wasn't pregnant, imo, is if you watch *at least* one entire episode and realize there isn't one pregnancy joke.

2nd of all - I wasn't trying to start a debate about whether drinking wine while you are pregnant is the unforgivable sin or not... We're talking about a portrayal on television. If someone on TV is doing it, it must be OK... I don't need to put any of my own thought into it. This is the mindset of so many people, and that's what worries me.

3rd of all - I'm not worried about Messing's baby because the wine is probably apple juice, but I'm concerned about the impression its giving.

4th - Unfortunatly there are a LOT of women out there who still drink while they are pregnant and end up having babies with FAS. And I'm sure a lot of those women watch NBC. So when they see Rachel Green, newly pregnant, spitting out the wine she just absentmindedly put in her mouth, that is the kind of message that belongs on the airwaves and can actually make change without compromising entertainment. (Previous was a Friends reference.) This Will and Grace thing is the opposite of that.


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## PurpleBasil (Jan 28, 2004)

Quote:

_Originally posted by dubylyu_
*So when they see Rachel Green, newly pregnant, spitting out the wine she just absentmindedly put in her mouth, that is the kind of message that belongs on the airwaves and can actually make change without compromising entertainment. (Previous was a Friends reference.) This Will and Grace thing is the opposite of that.*
How do you feel about shows in other countries featuring truly pregnant actresses (and their character is also pregnant) drinking wine and gasp, not spewing? Multiple times a season?

Perhaps if you self educated about FAS and real risks to babies you might shift consciousness over this perceived error.

I sincerely hope no one is looking to Friends or Will & Grace for prenatal education. Where is Emma, for crying out loud - oh yeah, gone by the wayside of baby-born-for-sweeps week.


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## daylily (Dec 1, 2001)

I haven't seen _Will and Grace_ in a long time, but even though Messing is obviously pregnant--the show is _fiction_ and I think most viewers can summon up enough willing suspension of disbelief to just accept that the "Grace" character is not pregnant, even though the actress playing her obviously is. Pregnancy jokes? How would those be appropriate in a show that doesn't have a character who is pregnant?


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## Arduinna (May 30, 2002)

Honestly, I think the whole thing is blown way out of proportion.

1 people shouldn't look to sitcoms for moral or medical advice.

2 it's a tv sitcom not real life and she isn't pg on the show. if you can't tell the difference between Messing and Grace then I don't know what to say.


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## momileigh (Oct 29, 2002)

I'm not saying they should have pregnancy jokes! I'm saying that the lack of them is one of the only reasons that you would know the character isn't pregnant, if you aren't a regular viewer. Either I'm being woefully unclear or the reading comprehension skills of this crowd is pretty low.

I can see that the consensus here is that NBC is perfectly right in their portrayal. That's fine. No one here has convinced me, but that's what we have opinions for. And no one has to worry about me going on some kind of time-wasting crusade... this post and my email to NBC (a time investment of ten minutes, maybe) is as far as I'm taking it.

What bothers me now is this prodominantly pro-drinking-during-pregnancy/whatever-boats-your-float attitude... it reminds me of the pro bulemia/anorexia movements out there. Only one person is saying anything about whether the potential risks are worth the potential benefits, which is scary. And that definately isn't an issue for this forum. So I'm dropping it.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

With all due respect, I disagree with your reaction.

a) the character isn't pregnant. it's a sitcom. so what if you can "tell" she is PG? the character isn't. that's like saying that using a male actor to portray a female is promoting cross-dressing (and there's nothing wrong with that, either)

b) I think the idea that "we don't know what levels are safe so nothing is the ideal" is a bunch of "cover your butt" hysteria.

pregnant women have been drinking in moderation for millenia. it's only North America that it has suddenly become so "un-politically correct" to have a sip of wine while you are PG.

the old myth "if lots of something is bad, then a little bit of it is a little bit bad" simply doesn't hold true.

I like to enjoy the occaisonal half glass of red wine during my pregnancy (until I lose my taste for it) and I don't feel the need to apologize to anybody for that. And i'm not hiding it, either. If someone in a restaurant has an objection to my drinking while PG, they can leave.

_edited to clarify I have nothing against cross-dressing, lol_


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## Mothra (Jun 4, 2002)

Nothing wrong with cross-dressing!

On topic, it is television. We simply can't look to television to dispense health information. Watching television requires suspension of disbelief. If you can't do that, then you aren't going to enjoy watching television.


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## Snowy Owl (Nov 16, 2003)

What comes to mind about all this 'suspension of disbelief' talk is how television always presents this stereotype of giving birth as hysterical, dangerous, and too painful to bear. That really makes me mad. Someone posted a thread here recently about that. That I can totally understand, but there's probably no point in writing a letter about it. It's just the norm.
As for cross-dressing, it was just an analogy... there's nothing wrong with having wine, either! It's WINE for crying out loud! It aids digestion. It's not like sitting around throwing back tequila shooters while knitting the little blue booties or something.
:LOL


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## asherah (Nov 25, 2001)

um.. the character isn't pregnant.

You think they should suddenly make the non-pregnant character a tea-totaller because the ACTRESS is pregnant??

I am afraid I just don't get that at all.


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## daylily (Dec 1, 2001)

OK, sorry, I skimmed over your comment about pregnancy jokes. Now I see what you're saying as far as that's concerned. But I still don't see anything to get outraged about.

I did a little on-line research about FAS--most of the links I read were between five and ten years old, but it looks like the rate of FAS is between .5 and 2 babies per 1,000. Another site said 5,000 babies per year. 5,000 babies certainly is a lot, but I'm certain that all those babies had mothers who drank to excess. My FIL is an obstetrician and he said that in his over 30 years of practicing, he saw 2 babies with FAS and both of them had mothers who were severe alcholics who sustained themselves nearly exclusively on alchohol and ate very little actual food.


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## Mothra (Jun 4, 2002)

Totally off topic, but I really liked how Jamie gave birth on _Mad About You_. She wanted the epidural, but waited too long. She didn't think she could do it, but she did! Yea!

Anyway, yes, there is a problem with the way that pregnancy and birth are portrayed in popular culture, and I don't think that falls under the "suspension of disbelief". I think that is a genuine gripe. Getting upset because a pregnant actress portraying a non-pregnant woman drinking wine is not.


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## dallaschildren (Jun 14, 2003)

You can feel however you want. Good for you for e-mailing NBC if you felt it was inappropriate. Let us know if you get a response.


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