# I have a really weird feeling when I breastfeed...



## Funny Face (Dec 7, 2006)

I don't even know if I can explain it. It's like this homesick feeling. I don't get it every time I nurse but a lot of the time. I remember feeling this way with dd and now it's back with the new baby.

It's the same feeling I got when I got married and moved in with my husband. At night when it was time for bed I'd feel so homesick even though I was so happy to be where I was.

Does anyone else get this sort of lost feeling? or other indescribable emotions?

It makes me sad and I don't know what causes it as I'm beyond happy with my new baby and thrilled to be able to nurse him.


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## marlee (Aug 29, 2005)

How old is your baby?


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## lovemybubus (Oct 2, 2007)

I get it all the time. My dh thinks it's because my mom died when I was so young. That's one theory. Sometimes I feel like "something is missing" I thought maybe it's the other babies that will eventually come into my life? Just throwing things out there...also I wonder if it's my fear of being totally happy...a dysfunctional childhood can give you that.

What are your thoughts??


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

Anything like this?


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## Swan3 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
Anything like this?

Yes, I was thinking of exactly this.


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## njbeachgirl (Oct 8, 2006)

I totally felt that way with my first baby!!!


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## mckennasmomma (Sep 29, 2008)

I could be off base here, but to me it is all in the way you look at it. Homesickness isn't necessarily a bad feeling. It can be a very positive feeling. I've felt homesick before but it was more like fond memories of another place I was happy and at peace. That doesn't take away from where you are now, or mean that your present moment is bad. It just means that there was a time before now that was happy, also.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood have made me feel a deep reconnection with my own mother (to whom I am very close anyway). Breastfeeding my daughter makes me think of my mom breastfeeding me, and looking down at my face the way I look down at my daughter's. Maybe you are having memories of your own infancy. That may feel like a longing in ways, but you can allow it to be positive feelings. If you didn't have a happy childhood, you can even allow it to be a mending of sorts; a way to heal by giving your child what you wish you had had.

That is my dimestore psychology, take it for whatever it is worth!


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I agree with those who mentioned D-MER -- that website linked earlier is a great resource for it. Good luck!


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## caenach (Jun 21, 2008)

That D-MER site was really interesting.

A few months before I had DD, I was talking to a poet friend. She was trying to describe the feeling that she had right at the moment that the words "came out," that the line coalesced and moved from a pre-conscious process to a verbal and/or written one. She described it as, "a feeling of tears being caught in the throat, a hollow pit in my stomach, feeling vaguely homesick, impatience."

For me, the feeling that I have right before let-down has always reminded me a lot of that, the moment when the "right" words come together when I'm writing. I wouldn't classify it as a negative feeling, but it does meet some of the other 'keywords' that show up on the D-MER site and in the posts above. Maybe there are some connections between the creative process and dopamine levels, too.


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## AbbieB (Mar 21, 2006)

With both my babies I have had very intense emotional reactions when nursing. It faded sometime around the 12 month mark.

The PP's link actually jives with my feelings, I just never thought of it as a bad thing, a problem, or some kind of condition that needs treatment (I'm not saying anyone here is saying the OP needs treatment, that was just my reaction from the website.)

I would feel a very deep heart ache kinda feeling that I identified with extremely intense feelings of love but on reflection I can see how the feeling could easily be interpreted as homesickness. I would have hot tears running down my face and feel like I just wanted to hold my baby tight. Sometimes, especially after my first baby when DH was not home 18 hours a day and sleeping the other 6 hours, I would feel deep feelings of loss that made me think about divorce. I only had these feelings when nursing.

I also had a really nice euphoric, almost drinking buzz like light headness at times or a feeling of a fluttery heart.

It's interesting to know that my feeling may have been from a physical cause.


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## Arwyn (Sep 9, 2004)

If it's not something you feel negative about, or that makes you feel adverse toward breastfeeding, then of course it doesn't need treatment.


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## Calee (May 10, 2008)

I had very emotional feelings while breastfeeding when my baby was new. Nobody prepared me for that! I had heard that I would have LOTS of awesome positive feelings, and I just didn't at first. I thought something was wrong with me!

My baby is 10 months now, and I don't feel that way AT ALL anymore. I don't remember exactly when it faded, but it didn't take more than a few weeks....

Hugs momma!


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## savannah smiles (May 4, 2004)

I felt a bit of sadness/melancholy when I nursed both of my girls. I thought it was odd but didn't give it a whole lot of thought beyond that. I get the same "homesick" feeling if I'm ever changing out of swimsuit in a bathroom, esp. hotel bathrooms. Something about the smell really affects me. Odd, I know.


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## Funny Face (Dec 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Arwyn* 
Anything like this?

DS is almost a week old.

This seems very similar to what I feel. A very passing, temporary feeling. It's not necessarily negative but just a heartachey feeling. It doesn't make me feel adverse towards breastfeeding- I think it might have dissipated as I nursed my dd.
It is a really interesting website though, I'd never heard of this before!

It's nice to know that I'm not alone and that this isn't that weird afterall.


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## brooks97 (Apr 24, 2008)

It was one of the feeling that I had when i BF'ed my kids. I felt homesick, emotional crashes, and just plain wanted to bawl my eyes out. It went on for about a month and then seemed like the hormones even out and they slowly went away.

I asked my MIL and aunts and they experienced the same thing, too.


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## PookieMom (Jan 16, 2007)

wow! I am so shocked.....I seriously thought that I was the only one with that feeling.....just...wow.....that article hit it on the head perfectly


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## Baby Makes 4 (Feb 18, 2005)

I felt the same way when nursing too! A brief feeling of melancholy, like something sad has happened but I can't think of what it might be.

I thought I was weird, who knew there was a name for it!


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## michelle123 (Oct 13, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Baby Makes 4* 
I felt the same way when nursing too! A brief feeling of melancholy, like something sad has happened but I can't think of what it might be.

I thought I was weird, who knew there was a name for it!

I never knew there was a name for it either. I never mentioned it to anyone because it was hard to describe correctly. It's just a feeling for about 30 seconds, then it goes away. I'm glad to know it has a name and it's not uncommon!

Thanks to the OP for asking about it!


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## Lemon Juice (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *moodyred01* 
DS is almost a week old.

This seems very similar to what I feel. A very passing, temporary feeling. It's not necessarily negative but just a heartachey feeling. It doesn't make me feel adverse towards breastfeeding- I think it might have dissipated as I nursed my dd.
It is a really interesting website though, I'd never heard of this before!

It's nice to know that I'm not alone and that this isn't that weird afterall.

That is very interesting. I never heard of that either. I wish you all the best mama


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

I felt this with both of my boys, this time, with my third baby I haven't had the feelings. I remember the first time I came here and asked your same question.







: I'm always so happy when I see women saying "WOW! I thought it was only me!!!" There was a girl here that was doing D-MER research, not sure if that was the link that was provided.

I hope it helps that you are soooo not alone!


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