# Do you LOVE being a mom?



## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

I don;t like my job as a mom. I have just admitted it to myself and am feeling really shameful about it. I really suck at it too!

I was wondering how many LOVE being a parent...(Not your kids, we all love them-but the actual "Work of motherhood.")

I love my kids and they deserve to have a mommy who is there because she wants to be...How do I change this perspective?

Jenny


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## tiffer23 (Nov 7, 2005)

Nope. I adore my son, love him with all my heart and would die for him without a second thought. But motherhood can completely suck. And that's okay. Not a single person in history can honestly say they enjoy a screaming hysterical baby, a biting fit throwing toddler, and getting about 2 hours of sleep per night for the last 15 months. It's just not possible.

I don't think that you can force yourself into enjoying those bits of the job. What I've learned to do is take them, handle them, and then forget them. I focus on the good things, however few and far between they may be some days. One little unasked for kiss, or when he falls and runs straight to me for comfort.... THAT makes all the horrible moments worth it.

Just remember that there will always be ups and downs with anything. At least being a mama has perks that far outweigh the perks of other jobs.









Hugs mama!


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## LilyGrace (Jun 10, 2007)

I love being a mom - sometimes. Other times I want to pull my hair out and have just 2 minutes without someone talking to me about nonsense.

I will say, though, that the balance between the two has shifted as they've gotten older. I don't have as much hands on responsibility now, making it easier for me to love more of parenting. I love teaching my kids new things, I love watching them grow - I did not like the sleepless nights or diaper stages. And I positively hate potty training. 5 and 8, though - those are nice ages and its easy to love being a mom to that.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

I think motherhood brings out both the absolute best and worst in me and whether I love it or hate it corresponds to that.


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## meganeilis (Mar 12, 2006)

You know that stereotypical fanatical mother? Yup, that's me. I gush, I fawn, I am my son's biggest fan. I have been known to take pictures of the occasional tantrum because one day I'll forget the look of determination on a two year old's face. I really do find my most fufilling role in life is being his mom.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LilyGrace* 
I
I will say, though, that the balance between the two has shifted as they've gotten older. I don't have as much hands on responsibility now, making it easier for me to love more of parenting.











I definitely hated the infant stage just because the responsibility and all out demands of caring for someone completely dependent on me felt claustrophobic. Sometimes I felt like I couldn't breathe or I'd never be me again.

Now that DS is 6.5 it's way different and I shine way more than not. I enjoy it way more than before and that started at around 5. But now I see us as more of our own people, living side by side sharing so many cool things about ourselves and the world. The complete dependency is gone and it feels way more balanced and respectful of the both of us.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *nicole lisa* 
I think motherhood brings out both the absolute best and worst in me and whether I love it or hate it corresponds to that.

That is a great perspective. I hate it and I suck at it....but when I love my job, I am actually rather good at it!









Mabye I need to at least wake up in the morning saying "I am so greatful to be able to get my morning hugs and kisses today."

My problem is thatthe positive thinking train derails so suddenly that I hardly have a moment to catch it. So once my mind is off track its like a spiral out of control, It gets worse and worse and worse. Total snowball.

Jenny


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## DBassett (May 15, 2007)

I absolutely love it. Sometimes I want to rip my hair out but I still LOVE being a mom


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## edamommy (Apr 6, 2004)

I do now. My ds was a high needs newborn,infant, toddler. I HATED being a mother then. And I was a sahm too. every day was a long living hell. But, I'm glad I really put myself on the cross for this child because he is truly a wonder to behold at 4yrs old and I couldn't enjoy him more.


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## gottaknit (Apr 30, 2004)

I chose love/hate it.

I loved it in the beginning (the first 15-18 months), when it was fun and easy. But being a SAHM to a toddler isn't my idea of happy happy fun fun.







Especially now that I'm pregnant. What am I going to do when there's TWO of them?? I never get any of my chores done as it is.... I feel like a maid-nanny-baby-incubator most days.


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## nicole lisa (Oct 27, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *transformed* 
My problem is that the positive thinking train derails so suddenly that I hardly have a moment to catch it. So once my mind is off track its like a spiral out of control, It gets worse and worse and worse. Total snowball.

A lot of books etc advocate the 'fake it 'til you make it" approach, but I've never found that to work. I've found the best thing for me to do is to just sit in the anger/frustration/sadness/dislike/whatever for a minute. Take a breath. I don't judge it but accept that's where I am right now. Not always, but now. Beating myself up over my feelings only perpetuates the negativity and then I'm never out of the cycle.

After acknowledging where I am and taking a moment to know it's OK I usually find it way easier to move forward from there. We're always changing from moment to moment so there's no reason for me to believe how I feel right now will be how I feel 2, 10, 25, 60 minutes later.


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## transformed (Jan 26, 2007)

nicole lisa said:


> We're always changing from moment to moment QUOTE]
> 
> Yes, and in a house with a 4 yr old, a 18m old and a preggo mommy with mood swings, we can be exstatic one minute and totally throwing fits 2 minutes later...LOL...Moods change quickly in a home with small children.
> 
> ...


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## LeftField (Aug 2, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *DBassett* 
I absolutely love it. Sometimes I want to rip my hair out but I still LOVE being a mom

Me too. I really love it. And at the same time, I really hate it at times. In general, I enjoy being a SAHM. I feel really happy and settled in this role. But yeah, I have days where I feel like running up the street, screaming. I have sat in my car in my garage to get away from them. It's like an extreme job. I love it, but at the same time, it can be highly stressful.

For me, personally, it's gotten easier as I've moved away from the baby and toddler stages. I didn't do those so well. I felt, at times, like I was being suffocated. My kids breastfed all the time and I got no sleep and I couldn't even pee by myself. Now that we're moving away from the early years, I have many opportunities to have personal time. And I've found that having personal time is key to my sanity. I run several times a week. On weekends, dh can take the kids out on errands and I can have a quiet house. Or I can go out by myself and I no longer have to worry about being home to breastfed someone or to comfort an upset child who misses Mama. It's getting easier as it goes, but it still can be highly stressful.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I've never thought about it that way. I love my daughter. I love spending time with her. I'm not much of a play-with-little-kids type. I'm also much better with kids than babies I think.

Interesting question. I'll have to give it some thought.


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## LaughinWillow (Jul 1, 2007)

I actually LOVE the baby/toddler stages - I don't mind little kids whining or throwing tantrums for some reason (drives dh batty, though) - but I start to HATE when they get older and start bickering and mouthing off. I enjoyed my 13 year old so much until she got about 9 or 10 and started being really beligerant and mouthy. And it started to take SO MUCH MENTAL ENERGY to deal with the constant arguing, refusal to help with chores, screaming and yelling - till now at 13 I'm sometimes like "God, I can't STAND this kid!" But then I realize that in lots of ways she's amazing - like earning a blue belt in karate, being really loving with her 2 year old brother, writing amazing essays for school, etc. I keep thinking that when she's an adult I'll really appreciate her, but for now I want to pull my hair out!

I will say that one thing I DON'T love right now is being pregnant and having to chase a 2 yr old - I'm so freaking tired, but can't go to sleep when I need to because ds has to be supervised. So I'm not loving that!


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## Trini-soca (Apr 21, 2007)

yes i do, i look at my kid everyday and i'm so happy i decided to be a mom. i almost lost her last year and that's when it really hit me...i can't live without this little human. it's very very humbling.
but...there are times i feel like smacking the kid. like when her teacher tells me she asks dd to do something and dd laughs in her face...huh? wtf?


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## cycle (Nov 18, 2004)

Love it, even when ds is being a 2.5 year old on a mission (that I don't agree with) I still love it. I am better in my role as Mom then any other role in my life.







:


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## bdavis337 (Jan 7, 2005)

Nope. In fact, truth be told, I really don't enjoy it. The majority of the time, I feel like I'm stuck in some horrible hampster wheel. I do love my kids, and I'm about to have yet another one (!!!), but the "mom" gig gets old, and I won't deny it.


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## mama2mygirl (Dec 14, 2005)

I LOVE it.
Tonight, we are going to a Harry Potter book release party and my little dd wants to be a tiny Hemione. She's so adorable I could burst. I am so excited because I'm a HUGE fan but it's even better being able to share it with my dd.
When I think of her growing up and moving away, I just feel so incredibly sad.
(There are hard days and some parts--anything involving cleaning, wiping up spills, organizing toys, etc,--I suck at. But I LOVE this job. I can't believe she's already four and there is only another year of preschool age left.







: But I also can't wait to see what happens next.)


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## GooeyRN (Apr 24, 2006)

I like it more now that dd is a toddler. I actually love it most days. Tantrums don't really get to me. I HATED it when she was a baby. The colic, breastfeeding issues, and endless crying really made me not like motherhood.


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## FancyD (Apr 22, 2005)

I enjoy it more now that DS is older. I'm a single mom, and his dad doesn't take him overnight, so I do miss getting out once in a while. I wouldn't mind a party now and then!


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## Jade2561 (Jun 12, 2005)

I LOVE it and I really am finding that I love it more and more every day. Now that my youngest is a toddler I find it's easier to give equal attention to both my children which makes our day go a lot smoother and makes me a happier mom.

I still have days where I am frazzled and feel like I'm going to go crazy but I've learned to embrace the chaos and love every minute- good, bad and ugly.


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## dimibella (Feb 5, 2007)

I am completely in love with it, I look at my babies everyday and just cannot believe how much I love them, it overwhelmes me that I could be trusted with something so precious. I've always been the mommy type, but I think my babies have made me who I am. I truly do love every part of motherhood, even the parts where I am shaking my head and asking God for strength.


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## LuxPerpetua (Dec 17, 2003)

I voted love it sometimes, hate it sometimes. I hated the baby stage with my daughter--we had colic, total sleep deprivation for months on end, high needs, food sensitivities (which was hard for me since I was bf-ing), hated the carseat (and still does) etc. Now that she's a toddler things are better and I think they'll continue getting better as she gets older and more independent. There are many parts I love about being a mother but when you are a mom of a high needs baby/toddler, it's almost impossible at times to either get enough rest or enough "me" time. My happiness increases dramatically when I have both of those "things." I think it's perfectly fine to think motherhood stinks at times. It doesn't mean that you don't love your children--it means you are human and you have needs that aren't being met. I also don't think we as a race were intended to parent in a little bubble away from other people to help. I think it's a lot easier to really be in love with being a mom when you have easygoing kids. I've seen time after time on MDC about how "easy AP" is for some folks and how they make all their kids' diapers and food and lament about the other "lazy moms" out there who don't, and others like me with higher needs kids are just struggling to get air. I think it's great that some moms fit into their role better than others but I also think that has a lot to do with the personality of the child as well as the personality of the mom, not to mention any help she gets on the side. There are a lot of factors that go into how good of an experience you have, many of which are totally random.


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## mommy2abigail (Aug 20, 2005)

I LOVE being a mom. I dont like everything else that falls into my lap simply because I stay home though. Like all the household chores, the cleaning, the errands, the cooking, the pets, ect. But being a mom? I love that part. I love getting hugs from her in the morning and waking up in the middle of the night to her touching my arm and smiling in her sleep. I love watching her discover something for the first time. I love talking to other mama's (you all!) and finding new tips and tricks to make ME a better person. I love that this tiny person who has only inhabited this earth for 2 short years has changed me in ways I never imagined possible. I like that it's made me slow down, enjoy the simple things, and put the truly important things first.
Do I have days where I want to quit? Sure, I think we all do. But being a mom and loving it waaaaaay outweighs those crazy moments.


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## paisleypoet (Nov 17, 2006)

I absolutely love it. I love that they come to me for comfort, that they want to be with me all the time (even though that can drive me crazy), and nothing ever made me happier in my life than taking care of a baby. Even getting up in the night, all the diapers, the crying, I didn't mind at all. Of course, I had troubles getting pg and was afraid I would never get to have children. It's better (and harder) than I ever imagined it would be.

That doesn't mean that sometimes I don't wonder what it would be like to not be tied down and to have freedom to do as I pleased, or to go back to school, or have more money. Or have days when I feel like I am going to lose it, and I just need to get away. I wouldn't be human if that were the case. But I wouldn't trade them for any amount of freedom. They are the most beautiful things in my world. I know that's sappy but it's the truth.


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## lemurmommies (Jan 15, 2007)

I always love my son, and I generally LOVE being a parent, but sometimes I hate things like cleaning poop out of clothing.


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## becoming (Apr 11, 2003)

I chose 'other.'

Right now I have an intelligent, independent 5.5-year-old, a wonderfully sweet, funny & laid-back 20-month-old, and a beautiful, still very sleepy newborn, and I absolutely *love* motherhood. I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

BUT I will say that when my oldest was 3 and the early part of 4, I didn't much like being a mom. In fact, I remember thinking many times that I had made a huge mistake having a kid. He was SO difficult to deal with 99% of the time, and I hated that we were constantly at odds with each other. Things are so much better between the two of us now.


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## MaryTheres (Mar 21, 2007)

I am one of the very annoying people who absolutely LOVES being a mom. That's not to say that I don't find it to be very, very, very hard work. It is indeed the hardest job. But, and I know this is so cliche, I really feel that 'it is the hardest job you will ever love!'

And I NEVER expected to love it this much. Seriously. I always thought of myself as a career woman... My mom was a sahm and I thought it looked like an awful job, one that I never would want to do. And I was one of those people who thought that women who professed to "love being a mom" so much werer a little weird and a little, oh I don't know how to put it, ... lacking in 'identity.'







Now, apparently I am one of them! And very happily one of them. Ironic. My career-oriented-single-self would have had a bit of disdain for the person that I have become since becoming a mom. I had no idea I would love it as much as I do.


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## Nikki98 (Sep 9, 2006)

Sometimes I love it and sometime I don't. I am having a real hard patch right now with my mothering-I'm feeling totally inadequate and overwhelmed. We are getting ready to move out of state, my dh is working lots of hours, my 7 y/o is highly sensitive and needs a great deal of attention-so right now mothering has been extra tough on me. I'm always wishing for "extra" hands-extra help per say. I really envisioned myself as a more patient and calmer mother-I want to strive toward this, but I am finding it hard-especially now







.


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## lifescholar (Nov 26, 2006)

I love it.

I always had what I thought was a "fairy tale" vision of what motherhood would be like. In my life, anything that seemed to good to be true, usually was. Motherhood has been the exception. It's exactly how I imagined it would be.

Now, I'm looking forward to having my future children with a loving husband....how exciting will THAT be!!???!









But, I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with NOT loving motherhood, or not loving it every day!


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I am one of those stupid, boring, dumb-ass peeps who loves it.









It has it's down -the -mountain side, but it really makes my life richer/better/dumbass-er.


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## mamatoablessing (Oct 17, 2005)

I 100% LOVE being a mom, although I had to answer "other". The love my mothering responsibilites, the stress, the hecticness of our lives and the ever changing behaviors, personalities and attitudes of my kids.

What I HATE about being a mom, is the debilitaing worry that goes along with it. I don't know if my feelings about this are normal but I worry about everything, all of the time. I worry whether they're eating enough, or eating too much. I worry about sleep habits. I worry about horrible things like SIDS and cancer and brain tumors. I fear car accidents and child abduction and molestation. I worry about whether I'm a good parent and raising them "right". I am so scared that I might die too soon and leave them motherless.

I worry about everything and trying to not inflict this fear onto my children is a daily struggle. I DO NOT want them living in fear, as I do. And the thing is...it never ends. I will be their mother forever and they will always be my children, no matter how old they are. I will worry about them for the rest of my life and that burden is often times too much to bear. I love them so much, I shake and sometimes vomit thinking about losing them or missing out on their lives if something should happen to me.

And that, is what I HATE about being a mother.


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## Genesis (Jan 8, 2007)

Yes, I LOVE being a mama!


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## lovingmommyhood (Jul 28, 2006)

Yep, I love it! Of course there are hard days but that is true with all jobs.


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## geek_the_girl (Apr 12, 2006)

I have to honestly say that I was kind of tossed unexpectedly into motherhood. I didnt love it much at all at first. It was a huge awakening. The first couple of years were rough and I felt kind of blindsided. Now I love it. My kid is older and I wouldnt mind having another soon.


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## Aliviasmom (Jul 24, 2006)

Yes, I love it. There are obvious things that HAPPEN that I don't like, but it comes with everything. I don't mind diapers, laundry, anything. I've found a way to "work around" most of the things that annoy me. The hardest part is when I'm tired/sick/stressed and those seem to be the times that she "needs" (wants) me the most. Yes, it's not the life I "planned" but she really is a very good child much of the time. She's very smart, which can help a lot, as she can understand things most kids her age can not/don't yet.


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## sarbear (Mar 21, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamatoablessing* 
I 100% LOVE being a mom, although I had to answer "other". The love my mothering responsibilites, the stress, the hecticness of our lives and the ever changing behaviors, personalities and attitudes of my kids.

What I HATE about being a mom, is the debilitaing worry that goes along with it. I don't know if my feelings about this are normal but I worry about everything, all of the time. I worry whether they're eating enough, or eating too much. I worry about sleep habits. I worry about horrible things like SIDS and cancer and brain tumors. I fear car accidents and child abduction and molestation. I worry about whether I'm a good parent and raising them "right". I am so scared that I might die too soon and leave them motherless.

I worry about everything and trying to not inflict this fear onto my children is a daily struggle. I DO NOT want them living in fear, as I do. And the thing is...it never ends. I will be their mother forever and they will always be my children, no matter how old they are. I will worry about them for the rest of my life and that burden is often times too much to bear. I love them so much, I shake and sometimes vomit thinking about losing them or missing out on their lives if something should happen to me.

And that, is what I HATE about being a mother.

I am SO with you there! I think that the hardest thing hands-down about motherhood is the fear and worry that comes with it. Your love for your children is so deep, that the capacity for pain and sadness and fear in relation to them is equally as deep. It is something I deal with every day, and try to balance. I also don't want to transfer my fear to my ds, so I am conscious of my words and actions constantly. I hope that as he gets older I am able to let go a bit, and understand that I am not in control of his destiny, and that I can only do my best and that has to be good enough.


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## lalaland42 (Mar 12, 2006)

I love being a mom but I don't like parenting all the time. Recently DD has taken this two phase to a new level and I have found that difficult but even when I am really angry with her, I can still feel the love of being a mom in there. There is still that underlying happiness that gets me through the tantrum because I won't let her crack 5 eggs into the muffins or because I won't let her have juice after teeth brushing time.

This might sound weird but having DD has helped a lot with my depression. It used to be that I found my life to be directionless and I would wallow in that. Now I don't have time to worry about direction, I just keep going.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

Yes, I do love it. I feel so blessed to have these kids and to be able to be their mother.

Motherhood is probably the hardest thing I've ever done, but it is also the most fullfilling thing that I have ever done.


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## North_Of_60 (May 30, 2006)

Even though I don't like being woken up 3, 4, 5 time a night, or wiping greasy finger prints off the wall, or going to the chiropractor 4 times a week for a sore back, or scraping poop off diapers, I still voted yes.

The things that go along with motherhood suck, but actually _being_ a mother is the best thing that has happened to me. I love the nursing relationship that enables to me to comfort her back to sleep in the middle of the night. I love the fact that the greasy fingerprints came from homemade food that I made from scratch because I enjoying cooking for my daughter. And even though my back gets sore, there is nothing better in the world then smelling my daughter's hair as she sleeps on my chest in the mai tai. And no, scrubbing diapers is never any fun, but cuddling with her and feeling soft cotton, and fleece, and wool against our skin is so soothing.








:


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## mamamac2489 (Oct 12, 2005)

I wouldn't change it for anything. Yes it can be tough, but it's just one more thing to accomplish in life.


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## ~PurityLake~ (Jul 31, 2005)

YES! I love being a mother. It's what I've always wanted to be. Yes, I can feel crazy when my toddler is screaming and throwing a tantrum and I have no idea what she wants, and she hits me when I try to hug her, and they won't get off of me in the evening, and knee my thigh and elbow my breast and won't sit still on my lap...or cleaning poop paint off the walls and off Abigail's hand for the third time in one afternoon because she's smart enough to know that poop = bath, and has learned to yank off her diaper and poop in her hand because she loves bath bubbles! YUCK!
but, that doesn't change the way I feel about being a mother. I absolutely love it!!!


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## Mary (Nov 19, 2001)

I was coming along pretty well in life without kids, but I feel like becoming a mother has brought me up to a whole other level of my higher self. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life and I credit becoming a mother to that. Yes it can be hard and yes there are times when I just want to be left alone and deal with life without any interruption- I'm human. I truly enjoy being a mom though.


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## 1xmom (Dec 30, 2003)

I, like my family and friends, wasn't sure how I would be as a mom. Mainly b/c I am not all that big on kids. But I have to admit, I love being a mom to my dd and wouldn't trade it for the world. Although I don't love it enough to want to have another one. One is suffice for me.


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## bigeyes (Apr 5, 2007)

I'm all over the map. When it's easy, I love it. When it's hard, I feel inadequate and I hate it.

Some of it seems so unfair, and I hate having to clean up someone else's psychological damage. I catch all of the flack for someone else's suicide, someone else's psychosis, and someone else's delusional thoughts.









But...I also get to see someone else's child grow up because they voluntarily gave up the job. And for every rotten thing I get the blame for, there is something great that I get to take credit for that I had nothing to do with either.

I just keep hoping someday I'll have more _love it_ days than _hate it_ days.


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## Periwinkle (Feb 27, 2003)

I voted other. MOST of the time I love it and sometimes I don't, but again that's focused on the work of motherhood, not my children, whom I love with all my heart & soul.


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## blissful_maia (Feb 17, 2005)

I adore being a mother in every respect. Even when it's tough. I love my girls so much that sometimes it makes me want to cry just thinking about it. But like the pp said, the work of motherhood can be challenging/unnerving sometimes.


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## OneWithTwo (Oct 17, 2006)

I love motherhood and enjoy every minute of it. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
It can suck somedays, but I try to appreciate every minute of it.


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## hippiemum21580 (Jul 14, 2007)

I adore being a mom. It is what I was born to do more than anything else. And after my DH left I fought so hard to get where i am now, busting my butt to earn money while still home 24-7 with my kids. Honestly, of COURSE there are days I want to have some personal space and freedom to feel I can breathe. sometimes (especially sleep deprived with a newborn!) I cringe to hear the word "mommy" said for the 70 billionth time that morning. Sometimes I resent how my boys suck all of the life out of me by days end. But I think alot of thsi is trying to figure hwo to be a single mom, doing it all myself and never getting a break since I don't work outside the home or ever go out and leave them with a sitter or family or anything. But usually, just a few hours of me time once a week gives me back my perspective. All in all, its more fulfilling than anything else I could do.


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## newmommy (Sep 15, 2003)

mamatoablessing I can relate to alot of what you wrote.

DS was up all last night vomiting, that's the part of Motherhood I don't like.

When he saw his Birthday Gifts laid out and I saw the pure JOY on his face and he said "Thank You Mommy!!" well, I love that part.


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## BabyBearsMummy (Jan 27, 2006)

YES I love every minute I spend with my daughter and even though there are some huge challenges sometimes I still love it and know that this is what I was ment to be doing with my life. Also having my daughter openned a whole new world to me. I now have a completely different career path and goals in life then I did before having my daughter along with a whole new set of values.


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

I love it. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a Mommy. All the Mommy things- from changing the diapers to trying to get them to clean their rooms, it's all I ever wanted to do with my life. My Mother once told me when my son was a newborn that I was born in the wrong era- I should have had children in the 50's when it was "acceptable" for a Mother to have 5 or 6 children and be a stay-at-home Mom. (Not knocking stay-at-home Mom's- I wish I still was one- just stating how alot of people see things nowdays.) Now that my son is 12 and my stepdaughter is 6, I'm really starting to suffer from early empty-nest syndrome. My son doesn't need me as much anymore and my stepdaughter even less- she'll "outgrow" me sooner because I'm parent #3, the "extra" parent. What I wouldn't give to be a Mommy for a couple more years.


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## the_lissa (Oct 30, 2004)

Are yo a sahm? Maybe you would be more fulfilled working outside the house?


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## kblackstone444 (Jun 17, 2007)

I work in a daycare as a preschool teacher. I get to do all the "Mommy" things for other people's children, too. I think the problem is, I wish I was still a stay-at-home Mom staying home with her children who aren't growing up too fast. Can't do anything to change that, though. Kids grow up whether you want them to or not.


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## meowee (Jul 8, 2004)

Other: I almost always love it but occasionally feel I'm going crazy, which is different from hating it.


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## amydawnsmommy (Mar 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Abi's Mom* 
YES! I love being a mother. It's what I've always wanted to be. Yes, I can feel crazy

at times...... but I love being Mommy.









To keep the crazies at a minimum, I make sure I meet my needs for self-care by getting regular breaks, having quiet time, social time with friends, hot stone massage by an RMT, network spinal analysis and colour energy therapies.

Finding balance is the key to being at peace as a mom!


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## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

Mixed bag.

I love being a mother, getting to watch an amazing little person grow and learn and change, seeing myself and my partner in him, getting to read picture books and hang out at the playground.

But sometimes I hate the way my days seem to be an endless rush of struggling to do everything everyone expects of me, and I hate the way I sometimes behave when that pressure is getting to me. Yesterday, for example, I spent the whole day doing incredibly tedious stuff at work, and at the very end of the day I got a couple of rather snippy e-mails pointing out that I had misunderstood the instructions for two entirely separate things, so I felt stupid for misunderstanding and worried that the senders of the e-mails were mad at me or thought I had done things wrong just to be difficult. Then I picked up EnviroKid, and he was very annoying about wanting to eat the trail mix I had brought him, wanting to put it in his backpack (which I have to carry, and which has an annoying drawstring) and play with his train, wanting to put the train in the backpack and eat the trail mix, over and over, while demanding that I tell him "Cinderella" which has been his obsessively favorite story for the past two weeks. Try as I might, I could not seem to speak in a pleasant tone, and I kept hurrying him along as he wanted to drive his train on every surface. We got home, and when I faced the mountain of dishes I HAD to get washed because they'd been piling up since THURSDAY and started to tell my partner about my day, I cracked and started crying. And that annoying kid started screeching from the dining room, "Mom-MMEEE! Mom-MMEEEEEE!!!" so I whipped around and snarled in the voice of Zool, "WHAT?!?!!!"
...and he said, "I want to give you a hug and a kiss, Mama.







It is okay, Mama."








It all balances out!


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## Ellien C (Aug 19, 2004)

I see 2 different things being asked:

*Do I love BEING a mother?-* Yes absolutely and totally I love BEING a mother. We became parents in our mid-30s/40s so it was a whole new part of our identity.

*Do I like the work of motherhood/parenting?* Eh -probably not so much. I work full-time outside the home. This gives me some time for self-care and to meet my own needs - intellctual and spiritual.

The 3-4 year old tantrums and whining are VERY triggering to me, as I guess they must have been for my mother. I hope I'll be as good a mom to my teenagers as my mom was to me. The baby stuff I got through, but the toddler years have been very rough.

I think parenthood reflects aspects of our own personalities that we MOST need to work on. I agree with Nicole-Lisa's advice to just BE in the frustration, anger, heartache for a moment until it goes away and NOT to stuff it down. Scott Noelle writes about those things a bit and it's very helpful.


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## mowilli3 (Jan 7, 2007)

I love love love my job as mom. I think it was always in my personality. I wanted to be a mom from a very young age. I also WOH in a career that I love. I have a real need to have many different tasks to keep me stimulated. So I like that aspect of mothering. I also like to learn, so I'm always trying to figure out things in parenting. It's very rewarding for me to move to the next step of development with my DC. And I am very affectionate with my DC. I like to give lots of hugs and kisses. I'll eat whatever they give me; I'm not too queasy.

I think the best way to change your perspective is to tell yourself that your style is just right without any need to improve or to follow a strict philosophy and to give yourself permission to jump into the fun and uncertainty without reservation.


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## srbushey (Sep 27, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MaryTheres* 
I am one of the very annoying people who absolutely LOVES being a mom. That's not to say that I don't find it to be very, very, very hard work. It is indeed the hardest job. But, and I know this is so cliche, I really feel that 'it is the hardest job you will ever love!'

And I NEVER expected to love it this much. Seriously. I always thought of myself as a career woman... My mom was a sahm and I thought it looked like an awful job, one that I never would want to do. And I was one of those people who thought that women who professed to "love being a mom" so much werer a little weird and a little, oh I don't know how to put it, ... lacking in 'identity.'







Now, apparently I am one of them! And very happily one of them. Ironic. My career-oriented-single-self would have had a bit of disdain for the person that I have become since becoming a mom. I had no idea I would love it as much as I do.









ditto to the last T. i also never thought becoming a mom would improve my relationship with my own mom so much!

SAHM is my career of choice for a good while to come. my dd is so amazing even when she makes a perfect down curve mouth and lets out a cry of bloody murder. she is an absolute delight and far beyond my wildest dreams. I thank God for her every day!


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## Abarat (Jan 22, 2007)

I voted yes, but that does need some elaboration.

I can't say I adore the job of being a mother every minute of every day. My DS is 19 months old and it gets better and better the older he gets. Like some others that posted I hated the infant stage, but he's so much more fun now and becoming more and more of his own person and I love being there for that.

One thing that really helped me turn around when I really thought I hated being a mother was this: every mother is as different as every woman. We all have our own styles and that's great! Motherhood is made to be tailored to each individual mother and child(ren). What makes that difficult and seem like BS sometimes is the fact that the world around us is sooooo good at preaching about what they think a mother should be, which makes a lot of us feel guilty and feel like cruddy parents.

Turn off any outside influences, ignore what everyone else says you should be and get to know motherhood on your own, through your own perspective with your own preferences and ideas. It made a world of difference to me.

I'm fine with the fact that my son isn't going to be happy every minute of every day....I couldn't stand it if I was, so why should he? I cry sometimes too, and so should he, it's natural and gives us a much needed balance in our lives.

My house isn't going to be spotless everyday and everyone can just live with it. It's not dangerous or harmful to him, he needs to get used to germs anyway! LOL

Learn to take pride in your imperfections and believe me, you'll be happier. There's no absolute right or wrong way and we're all trying for the impossible if we try to conform to anyone else's ideas of what a "perfect mother" is. You and your child work that out on your own, and it's a lifelong journey....and that's what it's all about...the journey.


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## princesstutu (Jul 17, 2007)

I love it. Even when I hate it, I love it...meaning, even when I'm very, very annoyed and want to put them all out (I have 4 kids), I still love it. I love hating it. I love being annoyed. I love getting beyond the unnecessary negative self-talk.

I love challenges that mean something to me and motherhood means a lot to me, so I accept the challenges and use them to better myself. I think motherhood is the most important thing I'm doing, as a human being, and I love being alive, so...I love it. All of it.

Quote:

Learn to take pride in your imperfections and believe me, you'll be happier. There's no absolute right or wrong way and we're all trying for the impossible if we try to conform to anyone else's ideas of what a "perfect mother" is. You and your child work that out on your own, and it's a lifelong journey....and that's what it's all about...the journey.
Good advice. I agree. Once I stopped comparing myself to others or my own fantasies, I became much more relaxed and embraced the "non-perfect" perfect parts of myself.


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## mightymoo (Dec 6, 2003)

I am having a rough patch as a mom too. I have just realized I am hitting my limitations. Being with them all day from wakeup until 7:30pm - having them at an age where they fight all the time and whatnot, I'm realizing I am overstretched here. Last night DH and I decided that its worth my sanity and my relationship with my kids to send them both somewhere a few hours a week.


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## Sarahbunny (Jun 13, 2006)

I love being a mom but I don't love all the things that that entails.


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## RachelGS (Sep 29, 2002)

For me the answer to that question has changed as my children age. Before my daughter was about three, I would have said I loved everything about it and that I was born to be a mother. But three was a tough age and we had more hard days than rewarding ones, for the first time in her life. Also I had another baby and found parenting two children to be difficult in a way I never would have imagined, and suddenly I felt like I sucked instead of feeling like I was a really good mom. That changed how much I enjoyed it. Now, having more or less the hang of parenting two, most of the time I love being a mom. But I am also feeling burned out a bit in a way I couldn't have envisioned a few years ago. It has become necessary to carve out time for the parts of me that are *not* about mothering so that I can give my best effort to the parts that are.


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## utopia760 (Feb 7, 2007)

not always but mostly i love it. I love the mornings when I have a bunch of energy or when I get to take them to some really cool place. I love being able to show them off. I love playing ball, making snowmen, and doing crafts. I hate fighting, dinnertime, bathtime, and chasing my 1 year old outside. i think about 45% of the time I love what i do i feel like ive done something good when the dishes are done and the kids are happily playing. i do get stressed and do drink my occasional yerba mate and even some beer (hey we all need it sometime) but i do love the stressful sometimes unmanagable days i have- when they are over- lol


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## sagira (Mar 8, 2003)

I love being a mother. Dh jokes that I've finally found my calling and that he considers me a much better mom than a wife (I agree!)


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## lisac77 (May 27, 2005)

I love my son with all my heart and that will never change.

His baby years were so hard for me. He had terrible colic and reflux, and he didn't sleep through the night until he was 3 years old. He was fussy and tantrum-y and high-needs to the core. As he gets older things have gotten considerably easer, and I am really enjoying him now that he is 4.


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## amydawnsmommy (Mar 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Ellien C* 
I see 2 different things being asked:

*Do I love BEING a mother?-* Yes absolutely and totally I love BEING a mother.

*Do I like the work of motherhood/parenting?* Eh -probably not so much. I work full-time outside the home. This gives me some time for self-care and to meet my own needs - intellctual and spiritual.

You have a good point here. There are two parts to it.

Being a mom is great.










The work of motherhood is ongoing, challenging, fun, frustrating, repetitive, inspiring, etc. Sometimes it's fun and sometimes not so much.


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## Coco_Hikes (Nov 26, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mommy2abigail* 
I LOVE being a mom. I dont like everything else that falls into my lap simply because I stay home though. Like all the household chores, the cleaning, the errands, the cooking, the pets, ect. But being a mom? I love that part. I love getting hugs from her in the morning and waking up in the middle of the night to her touching my arm and smiling in her sleep. I love watching her discover something for the first time. I love talking to other mama's (you all!) and finding new tips and tricks to make ME a better person. I love that this tiny person who has only inhabited this earth for 2 short years has changed me in ways I never imagined possible. I like that it's made me slow down, enjoy the simple things, and put the truly important things first.
Do I have days where I want to quit? Sure, I think we all do. But being a mom and loving it waaaaaay outweighs those crazy moments.









Love this reply! Identifying the parts of being a SAHM that I dislike (being the sole manager of the house, etc.) and those that I adore (spending my days with my girly) and trying to keep them labeled separately in my head make all the difference on the gray days when the sticky kitchen floor seems like the end of the world.


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## amydawnsmommy (Mar 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Coco_Hikes* 







Love this reply! Identifying the parts of being a SAHM that I dislike (being the sole manager of the house, etc.) and those that I adore (spending my days with my girly) and trying to keep them labeled separately in my head make all the difference on the gray days when the sticky kitchen floor seems like the end of the world.

You know when the sticky kitchen floor seems like the end of the world it's time for Mom to have a break!


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## Moonprysm (Jun 2, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meganeilis* 
You know that stereotypical fanatical mother? Yup, that's me. I gush, I fawn, I am my son's biggest fan. I have been known to take pictures of the occasional tantrum because one day I'll forget the look of determination on a two year old's face. I really do find my most fufilling role in life is being his mom.

Absolutely. Being a mom is all I've ever wanted in life.


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## UUMom (Nov 14, 2002)

I can't figure out if this thread is about being a mother or being a housekeeper. I mean mothers sometime housekeep, but is this question about mothering or cleaning?


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## madskye (Feb 20, 2006)

I love being a mom. There are things about my life I have not enjoyed in the past two years, but DD is not one of those things. I was working out of the home, and becoming progressively more miserable every day. But it was never being a mom or my child that made me miserable, it was the stress of my job and commute, the impossibility of juggling everything and pleasing too many masters.

I have always loved being with DD and enjoyed my time with her, even when she's throwing tantrums or being a beast. I think it's all pretty fun. DD is the light in my life--sometimes the rest of it hasn't been great, though. Lots of job stress, as mentioned above. I also find marriage very difficult. I love my husband, and my family, but MAN do I find it hard to compromise all the time!

Now I'm working, part time from home and life feels a lot more manageable. And now that I'm home every day, I love being a mom even mroe.


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## Trillian (Nov 21, 2006)

I love being a mother but I'm glad it's not my only job.


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## woobysma (Apr 20, 2004)

Yep, I love being a mom & I usually love all the work it entails, too. I like being part of a functional family most of all. When the family life hits a slump, I get unhappy and stressed, but when it's going well, I really love it.


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## mothragirl (Sep 10, 2005)

LOVE IT! seriously, i've been waiting all my life to find something that i'm this good at and that makes me this fulfilled and happy. there are times when it sucks, but not enough to make me not totally overjoyed when i think about it.


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## choli (Jun 20, 2002)

I like it a lot better now that my kids are teen and preteen. I really disliked it when they were very small.


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## quakerlady (Mar 11, 2005)

I love being a mom. The up-close-and-personal, nitty-gritty, nose-to-the-grindstone details, sometimes not so much. and when I have PMS? I don't hate being a mom so much as I hate being me.
However, I could EASILY get a job and stick them in daycare, so I MUST prefer it to the aternatives...


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