# What did you accidentally teach your child?



## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Come on, you know we've all been there. Everybody has unwittingly taught their child something they didn't mean to - a shouted curse word when you dropped that jar of pickles on your foot and then your two-year-old screamed it in the grocery store for the next three months, or maybe you said something about your MIL you shouldn't have and your LO repeated it...often.

I have been teaching my 14 month old daughter different animals. She has some wooden magnets with animal pictures on them and she holds them up and I say the name of the animal.

Well, every time she holds up the picture of the cockatoo I trip up. I know what a cockatoo is, but I always almost say "parrot" so when she asks me what it is, I always slip up and say "ummm..." and then have think a second before answering. Every. Time.

Now she is convinced that a cockatoo is called an "ummm." Whenever she sees one in the store or in a book or at the zoo, she yells "UMM! UMM!" Nothing I do seems to convince her that it is, in fact, NOT called an "ummm."


----------



## Cheshire (Dec 14, 2004)

The word "crap." My mom "taught" my DS the word s*&t at the young age of 2 yo. He knew exactly how to use it which made us feel that he was pretty good with language but we just ignored it and he stopped. Grandma had to stop using it, too.

We have to really watch what we say when we're driving. Not that we yell at other drivers but sometimes I'll say "what are you thinking" or something similar to another driver and DS just latches onto it. He'll either start questioning what the other driver was doing or he'll want to know exactly what the other driver was doing wrong.

It's amazing how great kids ears really are when you think they aren't listening.


----------



## THBVsMommy (Mar 13, 2007)

the word "penis"


----------



## neverdoingitagain (Mar 30, 2005)

I "accidently" taught my 9 month old how to climb the stairs. She would crawl to the stairs, get stuck(at the bottom) turn around and go back where she came from. I showed her she could climb them.







I didn't think she would get it in one try!


----------



## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

To say "dammit."







Whoops! He uses it correctly, at least...


----------



## Thalia the Muse (Jun 22, 2006)

the "cockatoos are called ummm" story is wonderful! That's just hilarious!


----------



## SweetPotato (Apr 29, 2006)

We've got a bunch of single guys who bought the house next door, which has a pool in the backyard (this is a very cozy culdesac in a VERY family-oriented neighborhood) They've had a few loud parties which drive me BERSERCK- and I've expressed my annoyance, while trying to be careful of the words I chose, etc. Well, my dh had a talk with them a few weeks ago, and they were very nice about it, gave us their cell#s to call if they got too loud, etc., and they've been very considerate about moving the party indoors no later than 9pm since then- I'm delighted! Unfortunately, my dd had been listening a little too well, and we got home from a walk last week to find that the neighbors were having friends over in the pool and were all laughing and having a good time-- this was about 2pm on a Saturday- totally acceptable- and my dd (3.5yo) starts waving her finger and shouting "Charlie's friends are being ROWDY! Do you hear them? They are being rowdy over there!" Oops!


----------



## SweetPotato (Apr 29, 2006)

Just thought of another-- we were driving through the parking lot of our grocery store the other day (we were both tired and cranky), and somebody almost backed into us (teenage boys driving, being directed by teenage girls out of the car and obviously not paying any attention) and I grumbled "dumba***es"-- to which my dd said "mom-- don't say dumb!" (I very seldom swear in front of her- honest!)


----------



## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Thalia the Muse* 
the "cockatoos are called ummm" story is wonderful! That's just hilarious!

What's even funnier is that I try not to say it and then I do and then I say "dammit!" If I don't stop this insanity, she is going to think it's called an "ummm, dammit!"


----------



## Jessy1019 (Aug 6, 2006)

I taught my son to say, "Hey!!" when he wants someone to stop doing something. It wasn't until after I told him not to do it anymore that I realized where he picked it up.









That's the only thing I can really think of . . . the other things they picked up from me aren't things I mind them doing/saying.


----------



## katelove (Apr 28, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Well, every time she holds up the picture of the cockatoo I trip up. I know what a cockatoo is, but I always almost say "parrot" so when she asks me what it is, I always slip up and say "ummm..." and then have think a second before answering. Every. Time.

Now she is convinced that a cockatoo is called an "ummm." Whenever she sees one in the store or in a book or at the zoo, she yells "UMM! UMM!" Nothing I do seems to convince her that it is, in fact, NOT called an "ummm."


















This reminds me of my former next door neighbour. They had a toddler and he was fastinated by my cat. Unfortunately my cat was less fastinated by him and would hiss at him through the fence. His parents told me that whenever they saw pictures of cats and would say something like "Cat's say miaow" he would correct them and say "No, cat says kkhhsss!"


----------



## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

shit. what the heck!!!


----------



## MusicianDad (Jun 24, 2008)

When DD was about 5 she came up to me when I had a drink in my hand and distracted by the computer, it was a Long Island Iced Tea. She asked me what it was, I told her, she asked me what was in it so I told her the recipie. Two weeks later at a gathering, dad asks if I want a drink and DD pipes up with "Give him a long island iced tea. That's 1 part vodka, 1 part tequila, 1 part rum, 1 part gin, 1 part triple sec, 1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix, and coke." I pretty sure some people there were from then on convince I am a lush and training DD to mix drinks for me.


----------



## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Ugh, I forgot this one and a friend just reminded me. It's so embarrassing.









Several months ago, My baby girl got down on the floor and started humping it. She was crawling and trying to dance (bounce her butt) at the same time and it just looked...wrong. I walked in and looked at DH and asked "why is she humping the floor?"

Ever. Since. Then. She does it whenever I say the word "hump." She will even bring over her book with a picture of Humpty Dumpty in it and point to it and when I say "that's Humpty Dumpty" she will get down on the floor and do it again. AUGH! It's so mortifying. I always try to ignore it and never make a big deal out of it, but it's like she's psychic and knows it disturbs me to no end!


----------



## neverdoingitagain (Mar 30, 2005)

This kind of reminds me of the one of Bill Cosby's old stand-up routines.
The parent is yelling at their children and saying "Goddamnit I told you not to do that!" Kid says "But Dad...he's Goddamnit, I'm Jesus Christ"


----------



## Super~Single~Mama (Sep 23, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
When DD was about 5 she came up to me when I had a drink in my hand and distracted by the computer, it was a Long Island Iced Tea. She asked me what it was, I told her, she asked me what was in it so I told her the recipie. Two weeks later at a gathering, dad asks if I want a drink and DD pipes up with "Give him a long island iced tea. That's 1 part vodka, 1 part tequila, 1 part rum, 1 part gin, 1 part triple sec, 1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix, and coke." I pretty sure some people there were from then on convince I am a lush and training DD to mix drinks for me.

This is priceless! I bet everyone there thought it was great!


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
Ugh, I forgot this one and a friend just reminded me. It's so embarrassing.









Several months ago, My baby girl got down on the floor and started humping it. She was crawling and trying to dance (bounce her butt) at the same time and it just looked...wrong. I walked in and looked at DH and asked "why is she humping the floor?"

Ever. Since. Then. She does it whenever I say the word "hump." She will even bring over her book with a picture of Humpty Dumpty in it and point to it and when I say "that's Humpty Dumpty" she will get down on the floor and do it again. AUGH! It's so mortifying. I always try to ignore it and never make a big deal out of it, but it's like she's psychic and knows it disturbs me to no end!









:

it's always the most embarassing stuff they remember!


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

OK, mine's not a word or a phase.

I accidentally taught DS1 to pick things up with his toes.







:

He is a high needs kinda kid, and I carried him everwhere on my hip. I quickly learned how to snag something on my toes and bring it up to my hand so I wouldn't have to always be bending over. I could even open the car door with my foot. Before he could crawl, I saw him trying to pick something up with his feet, and getting very frustrated because he couldn't. I felt so bad I apologised to him!


----------



## Miasmamma (Sep 20, 2006)

"Stupid dog"


----------



## swd12422 (Nov 9, 2007)

DS learned to snap his fingers by the time he was a year old.

He's OBSESSED with the dog, who doesn't like him much but is too stupid/lazy to get out of his way. So every morning, I make the dog get up on our bed so DS can't reach him while I'm getting ready. I do this by snapping my fingers over the bed, and telling the dog to come up.

DS's first word was DOGGIE, and he still says it and snaps his fingers at the same time.


----------



## pomplemoose (Dec 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Miasmamma* 
"Stupid dog"









haha thats completely me too! that and unruly beast


----------



## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

"no"









which has become the answer to any -and all- questions for my 15.5 mos old









a man on the bus asked her if she was cute- she shook her head for a good two minutes


----------



## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

My oldest son's only clear word for almost a year was bullshit.

My 2 year old says dammit whenever he drops something or doesn't get his way. Of course, he uses it perfectly. I say no and he says "aw, dammit!"

My 7 year old and I have this same habit of chewing on our lip. I don't know if its because he sees me do it all the time and picked it up or if its some genetic bad habit I passed on.

Neither boy will operate the vcr/dvd player with their hands. Its only ever done with their big toe. Because my 7 year old saw me do it all the time and we've now passed that on to my toddler.

Dh made some joking comment in passing (when we didn't even realize the kids were around) about kicking someone's ass. My 2 year old latched on to that one. I thought it was hilarious to hear him say "daddy, I kick you ass" Not so much after that first time though.

I think my 2 year old thought our dog's name was "stupid dog" for a long time.


----------



## Mbella (Apr 5, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
This kind of reminds me of the one of Bill Cosby's old stand-up routines.
The parent is yelling at their children and saying "Goddamnit I told you not to do that!" Kid says "But Dad...he's Goddamnit, I'm Jesus Christ"









I love that one! It's from "Bill Cosby Himself."


----------



## Crunchie (Jan 9, 2007)

Well...I have a very long list of undesirable things (mostly words/phrases) that we have unintentionally taught my poor child.







: You know, the usual curse words used appropriately at the most inappropriate times.







But my mother unintentionally taught him a real winner. She came in one evening and popped open a beer, saying, "Noni needs a beer!" to my little one when he asked what she was doing. A week or so later we were in the grocery store, my son in the cart, doing the shopping thing...suddenly, he starts shouting "I. NEED. BEEEEERRRR!!!" He didn't stop 'till we were checked out and heading out the door. He was very pleased with himself.









And slightly o/t, but this:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
OK, mine's not a word or a phase.

I accidentally taught DS1 to pick things up with his toes.







:

He is a high needs kinda kid, and I carried him everwhere on my hip. I quickly learned how to snag something on my toes and bring it up to my hand so I wouldn't have to always be bending over. I could even open the car door with my foot. Before he could crawl, I saw him trying to pick something up with his feet, and getting very frustrated because he couldn't. I felt so bad I apologised to him!

I do this all the time myself. But for some reason, it really freaks my husband out when I pick up something with my toes.







I, however, find it a very handy skill to have!!


----------



## springmum (Aug 30, 2008)

My 13 month old is suddenly really into picking his nose.....don't know where he saw that







(must have been DH)

apparently he also knows how to do squats now too - the other I day I caught him doing them in the mirror...


----------



## mama2myangels07 (May 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MusicianDad* 
When DD was about 5 she came up to me when I had a drink in my hand and distracted by the computer, it was a Long Island Iced Tea. She asked me what it was, I told her, she asked me what was in it so I told her the recipie. Two weeks later at a gathering, dad asks if I want a drink and DD pipes up with "Give him a long island iced tea. That's 1 part vodka, 1 part tequila, 1 part rum, 1 part gin, 1 part triple sec, 1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix, and coke." I pretty sure some people there were from then on convince I am a lush and training DD to mix drinks for me.


----------



## azmomtoone (Aug 30, 2008)

......to poke his eyes.







DS watched me putting in my contacts one day and laughed at it; I didn't think too much of it until he grabbed the bottle of contact solution off the counter a few days later; he touched the top of the bottle and then proceeded to poke his eye w/ that finger. He even held his eye open w/ the other hand while he did it, same as I do putting my contacts in.
You'd think it'd hurt, but I'm still trying to convince him not to do it.


----------



## emaye_to_2 (Jan 16, 2008)

This is pretty embarrassing to me. I guess I have a lot of indigestion because at home I burp all the time. I can't help it







! Well my husband took my 3yo DD to Chuckie Cheese and she sat down at a table and burped and said "that's what mommy does".


----------



## battymama (Jan 15, 2008)

To grunt in frustration, i never knew that i did this, but when ever i am frustrated or annoyed i do a grunting noise (think marge simpson). Poppy had been doing this noise, and it was cute but odd and i didnt know where she got it from, until oneday i was getting frustrated and did it, and then she did it back.


----------



## kay4 (Nov 30, 2004)

I've taught them that gossiping is okay. UGH. I am trying to teach them that it is NOT and even told them to tell me when and if they hear me gossipping and tell me to quit. Boy is THAT humbling.

Also Oh my G-D. I have unfortunatly taught them that it's ok to say this. And I've told them if they hear me saying it to tell me. Gotten much better. Such a bad habit and got to drill it into my brain that it is bad.


----------



## Lovemy3babies (Apr 23, 2007)

This is the honest to goodness truth, I didnt even realize what I did until months after I had done it.

When the twins were one they would make faces. We would say the name of the face, and they would make it. One of the faces was squinting their eyes. It was called "squinty face or squinty eyes". Which fine, in my own home, for months, I never thought anything of. They were really squinting when doing it.

THen I went to the doctors office, my sister was with me. We were doing faces. I said "squinty face!" and he (Elijah) did it. Oh. my. goodness. there. is. not. a. nice. asian. women. staring. at. me. I almost died. Seriously, I almost curled into a ball. I didnt do that again, needless to say.


----------



## galincognito (Nov 23, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *battymama* 
To grunt in frustration, i never knew that i did this, but when ever i am frustrated or annoyed i do a grunting noise (think marge simpson). Poppy had been doing this noise, and it was cute but odd and i didnt know where she got it from, until oneday i was getting frustrated and did it, and then she did it back.

this happens at our house too! i remember when dd1 was about 6-7 months old, she would crawl to the edge of the bed, throw something off, and then grunt at the "dropped" item. or when she couldn't open the cupboards because of baby latches. yeah, then i went to get the cereal and forget about the silly latch and grunted. my dad was quick to point that out to me. i totally hadn't made the connection and it had been going on for at least a couple of months.

dd1 seems to need to only see/hear something once and she'll run with it. i'm really trying to watch what i say but it's hard!


----------



## Just Elsa (May 18, 2009)

Sarcasm.


----------



## PPK (Feb 15, 2007)

I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind


----------



## cappuccinosmom (Dec 28, 2003)

I taught my two yo to say "poopy butt". I use it in fun, when I need to change his diaper. He uses it as an insult to fling at his brothers.


----------



## calpurnia (Sep 26, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ppk* 
i inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind


----------



## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

"Watch out for the goose poop." It seemed like such an innocent statement at the time, but now he really does _watch out for,_ as in look for goose poop constantly. Unfortunately there are a _lot_ of geese in our area and they poop a lot. Walking through the park I warned him once to avoid stepping in it, and now it is the main topic of conversation when we walk through parks.









Yelling DH's name up the stairs when I need him.


----------



## russsk (Aug 17, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PPK* 
I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind









I think this is the funniest thing I've read all week. I'm still cracking up


----------



## teeg1973 (Oct 15, 2008)

I am mortified by this....

So, ONCE I was joking around with DH about my "Love handles" you know, the extra fat at the side of your back/waist.

Well, what do you know, my 2.5 year old on that day and a few since has demanded that she too has love handles, saying, "look at my love handles!" while pointing to her sides







I have tried just saying that she sure is loveable, but she has kept with it. I feel like such a dork for saying it in the first place now.

Tracy


----------



## mouthcave (Oct 9, 2008)

Some of these are so funny, haha!
"no way" It's funny when said in a joking way which is how he says it most of the time, but not so funny in response to asking him to do something!
Various curse words, but I am not too bothered by those and none have really stuck, surprisingly.
And yeah, the grunting. Except mine is when I do anything like standing up or climbing up the stairs! When we go to the playground, my son sounds like he is struggling to climb up each stair, like he is really out of shape. And he lets out a big sigh when he sits down, haha.


----------



## emmalizz (Apr 14, 2009)

.


----------



## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

Well, I taught ds, then about 5, a fabulous new word by accident. It was a case of forgetting someone was sitting in the back and bad traffic. He was very quiet and I said a word that begins with f and ends in head. Some time later, he was driving in the car with dad in bad traffic. Out blurts this word. Dad whips his head around and says, "Where did you hear that?!" "Did you hear it from one of your friends?", No. "Did you hear it at school?!", No. "Where did you hear this word?!", Mommeeeeee!


----------



## Areia (Mar 5, 2009)

I can have a very trashy mouth when I'm stressed or annoyed.







My most common one was aargh, f*&^ me!! I would just mutter it before I even realized I was doing it so when I was pregnant I start switching it to other words, the one that stuck was argh, help me! I was so pleased -- even if I slipped in front of DD it wouldn't matter. Now, she 1 1/2 and will often shout "HELP ME!" while we're at the supermarket, the park, etc. I've gotten some weird looks, but at least no one's accused me of kidnapping!


----------



## ~savah~ (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PPK* 
I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind

















: This literally made me lol.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *battymama* 
To grunt in frustration, i never knew that i did this, but when ever i am frustrated or annoyed i do a grunting noise (think marge simpson). Poppy had been doing this noise, and it was cute but odd and i didnt know where she got it from, until oneday i was getting frustrated and did it, and then she did it back.

LOl, I could have written this post word for word. Forever i wondered where she picked up the grunting, until someone so kindly pointed it out that I did it all.the.time. lol. She also says "Oh, god"

I'm pretty sure DD thinks the garage door is "home". I always back into the driveway when we get home and announce "we're home". Well yesterday when I was buckling DD into her carseat she pointed at the garage door and said "home".


----------



## kirstenb (Oct 4, 2007)

The F bomb gets dropped a lot in our house- mostly by accident it just seems to slip out at times. I've heard DS use it correctly quite a few times now.

DH taugh DS how to drink milk from the bottom of his cereal bowl, so now whenever DS is eating soup or cereal he is always picking up the bowl and slurping all the liquid from it.


----------



## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *heidirk* 
OK, mine's not a word or a phase.

I accidentally taught DS1 to pick things up with his toes.







:

He is a high needs kinda kid, and I carried him everwhere on my hip. I quickly learned how to snag something on my toes and bring it up to my hand so I wouldn't have to always be bending over. I could even open the car door with my foot. Before he could crawl, I saw him trying to pick something up with his feet, and getting very frustrated because he couldn't. I felt so bad I apologised to him!

My older two do this quite well.

My list:
pet the cat with their feet
pinch daddy's butt
yell at daddy when he drives too fast
squirt boobie milk on owies or into cups or across the room
give me their boogers (since I used to try so hard to get them lol)


----------



## LDSmomma (May 11, 2009)

These are great!








:


----------



## BetsyS (Nov 8, 2004)

"dirty dog" when the dog tries to steal his crackers.









My family is also a family of hunters. When ds#1 saw his first deer, he asked dh what it was, and dh said, "meat". To this day, all deer are called "meat" in our house. If Bambi is on TV, it's, "oh, look! A daddy meat and a baby meat!" Nothing convinces ds that they are really called deer. LOL


----------



## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PPK* 
I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind









BAH!! That is brilliant.


----------



## Kim Allen (Jun 28, 2008)

ohh we have delt with this alot lately.

We yell at the neighbor dogs to "shut up" well DS did it too and it was cute well now he tells everyone to "shut up" not cute.

Dh and I both bite our finger nails. I have for years from some childhood things and Dh does well because... Im not sure why lol now Ds does all the time







I really really hate that.

Dh thought it was cute to teach him how to "play fight" when he was younger and now hes really good at punching. Ouch







but we are working on when its ok to "play" that way.


----------



## Snuzzmom (Feb 6, 2008)

When we're sitting in traffic, DS will say, "Come ON, people!"

He'll also greet us with, "I'm so happy to see you!" because that's how we greet him.







And he'll say, "How was your day, Mommy?" for the same reason.


----------



## Kim Allen (Jun 28, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PPK* 
I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind









DS thinks there "CANDY!!!" lol I have a whole stash of them I bought before pg and He thinks its really cool that mommy keeps candy under the cabinet in the bathroom. I tell him no! Its for girls! I can only Imagine he is upset because there is "girl candy" and "boy candy"


----------



## benj (Jun 4, 2009)

our son, who has trouble speaking, has picked up the phrase, "was that really necessary?" if we take away one of his things.


----------



## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *benj* 
our son, who has trouble speaking, has picked up the phrase, "was that really necessary?" if we take away one of his things.









That is too funny!


----------



## MCR (Nov 20, 2001)

I have a lot of very curly unruly hair. Dh made the mistake of saying it was looking a bit like Side show Bob on a really frizzy day.
Last week we were waiting for me to be called into the lab and Dd wandered away, I called her back, then she went to look at the fish and yelled to me over a quiet waiting room "Hey side show Bob, come look at the fish" I pretended I didn't know her, the whole room snickered then she shouted, "Mom, you, Side show Bob come here" I'm glad me appointment went fast so i could get out of there.


----------



## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

My oldest, I taught "I don't care." I've said that a few times when exasperated, and sure enough, he picked up on that. My youngest, the minute I sit down on the toilet, he starts wiping himself.


----------



## benj (Jun 4, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 







That is too funny!









yes, he is very impulsive/has behavior problems. when he does something that we don't like we ask him that...we didn't think it would turn back around on us!


----------



## crabbyowl (May 6, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crunchie* 
Well...I have a very long list of undesirable things (mostly words/phrases) that we have unintentionally taught my poor child.







: You know, the usual curse words used appropriately at the most inappropriate times.







But my mother unintentionally taught him a real winner. She came in one evening and popped open a beer, saying, "Noni needs a beer!" to my little one when he asked what she was doing. A week or so later we were in the grocery store, my son in the cart, doing the shopping thing...suddenly, he starts shouting "I. NEED. BEEEEERRRR!!!" He didn't stop 'till we were checked out and heading out the door. He was very pleased with himself.

















:







:

DH's first word was "thit," which he picked up on at family card games. People watched their mouths after that!


----------



## delicious (Jun 16, 2003)

I don't know when I started this, but when I ask the big kids to do something, I will say, "Hey can you guys pick up the legos, thanks." The thanks sort of implying that they WILL do it instead of make up excuses why they can't.

Well, now when they want something from me...."mom, can we have ice cream? thanks!"

lol.


----------



## octobermom (Aug 31, 2005)

Come on! Learn to drive Geez









Deanna


----------



## BellinghamCrunchie (Sep 7, 2005)

"Mama, I have PMS."


----------



## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *delicious* 
I don't know when I started this, but when I ask the big kids to do something, I will say, "Hey can you guys pick up the legos, thanks." The thanks sort of implying that they WILL do it instead of make up excuses why they can't.

Well, now when they want something from me...."mom, can we have ice cream? thanks!"

lol.

Smart kids!


----------



## Devaskyla (Oct 5, 2003)

Ds2 picked up "dumba**" from Daddy. It's his favourite insult & has been known to talk to me while walking in stores about various people who he decided were.

Related note, he still has trouble with L's. He likes to go look at clocks. Yeah, that gets some funny looks.


----------



## readermaid (Jan 12, 2009)

Great thread!









Apparently whenever my toddler asks me for something, I say "hang on" because now when she comes up to me to ask for something she'll say, "milk, please. hang on."

She has also picked up my bad habit of apologizing for everything. She says "sorry" when she hits her head. It's cute, but I hate my reflexive sorry's.


----------



## webjefita (Aug 16, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
What's even funnier is that I try not to say it and then I do and then I say "dammit!" If I don't stop this insanity, she is going to think it's called an "ummm, dammit!"


----------



## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

Sometimes it takes me awhile to realize my kids are repeating something I say. When ds2 was about 2-3yo, if I asked him if he wanted something he would give really noncomittal answers, and I almost always ended up saying "Yes or no honey, which one is it?" as I'm standing there with a cheese stick or something. Well, pretty soon ds2 would walk up to me and say something like "Can we go to the zoo tomorrow?" And as I am standing there saying "Ummm, let me think, what are we doing tomorrow?" he says "Yes or no mommy." He actually did it quite often before I realized it was my fault.









Ds1 is the king of repeating all my swear words, all my bad traffic/driver comments, and shouting "Shut up!" at my mom's dog (although that one I can blame on her).

But I think my favorite is when ds1 says, in perfect imitation of my tone of voice, "I can't take this anymore!"

Of course, the most mortifying one came when my inlaws were here. We were all getting ready to eat dinner, and ds1 was helping to set the table. I was in the kitchen and everyone else was already sitting at the table, and out of nowhere ds says "Why am I the only one doing any f'ing work around here?"


----------



## lurve (May 5, 2006)

whenever she drops something she now says "crap."
it's a lot better than what i used to say at least!


----------



## lurve (May 5, 2006)

oh yeah, and "i have my moon. see moon blood"


----------



## craftymom (Jun 27, 2005)

OK. Let's just say on fb I belong to "Moms Who Drink and Swear".

But, generally, I try (and used to REALLY try) to not swear/use ANY bad words in front of the kids.

It turns out--I didn't even realize--that one of my favorite phrases while driving was "Come on crazy lady, what are you DOING".

Til we were out shopping and my then-4 yo announced, after a woman was taking FOREVER at the register making exact change, chatting up the clerk, so on and so forth as the line grew behind her, "COME ON CRAZY LADY!!!!!"

ehem...


----------



## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

shoot, whatever, oh my God!, I'm so SICK of that!

She also knows the rules to Wheel of Fortune.







:


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *katelove* 
This reminds me of my former next door neighbour. They had a toddler and he was fastinated by my cat. Unfortunately my cat was less fastinated by him and would hiss at him through the fence. His parents told me that whenever they saw pictures of cats and would say something like "Cat's say miaow" he would correct them and say "No, cat says kkhhsss!"









:


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *springmum* 

apparently he also knows how to do squats now too - the other I day I caught him doing them in the mirror...

No, no, YOU need to learn from HIM. Seriously. My husband and I weight train and the best squat advice out there is to watch children do it. Children have a perfect squat. Adults would do well to watch and learn from them.

On that note, our 19 mo old can deadlift a 10 lb kettlebell.







We don't let him do it just willy-nilly, of course, but he watches us use our (much heavier) kbells and he picks up that 10 lb'er and goes to town!


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *teeg1973* 
I am mortified by this....

So, ONCE I was joking around with DH about my "Love handles" you know, the extra fat at the side of your back/waist.

Well, what do you know, my 2.5 year old on that day and a few since has demanded that she too has love handles, saying, "look at my love handles!" while pointing to her sides







I have tried just saying that she sure is loveable, but she has kept with it. I feel like such a dork for saying it in the first place now.

Tracy


Ohhhh, when my dd was 4-5 we went through that. I had a real focus on my weight at the time (was going through some self esteem issues) and she picked up on it.







Thankfully, after that summer, it seemed to go away for the most part. I, also, was able to move past it, mostly.

I try to have a healthy concept of my weight and just focus on eating well and getting regular exercise. (Now I kind of get a kick out of how much I can pull in the gym.







)


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *BetsyS* 
My family is also a family of hunters. When ds#1 saw his first deer, he asked dh what it was, and dh said, "meat". To this day, all deer are called "meat" in our house. If Bambi is on TV, it's, "oh, look! A daddy meat and a baby meat!" Nothing convinces ds that they are really called deer. LOL









That's awesome!!!!


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *craftymom* 
Til we were out shopping and my then-4 yo announced, after a woman was taking FOREVER at the register making exact change, chatting up the clerk, so on and so forth as the line grew behind her, "COME ON CRAZY LADY!!!!!"

ehem...









:

I say, "Way to go, Genius!" and "It's not rocket science!"

My older 2 have picked up on it.


----------



## heidirk (Oct 19, 2007)

I have aparently taught DS1 to kick the bottom of the fridge door after he closes it.


----------



## LittleMonkey (Apr 11, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *oceanbaby* 
Of course, the most mortifying one came when my inlaws were here. We were all getting ready to eat dinner, and ds1 was helping to set the table. I was in the kitchen and everyone else was already sitting at the table, and out of nowhere ds says "Why am I the only one doing any f'ing work around here?"

OMG!! That seriously made me laugh









My DS says:
"I just need a minute" when he's stalling and "yes, no, maybe so" when you ask him a question he doesn't feel like answering







It's pretty funny. He will also say "is he a bad driver?" if we're driving and he hears a horn honk... I guess I've kicked the swearing in the car and replaced it with calling everyone a bad driver (and honking)!


----------



## guest9921 (Nov 3, 2005)

DS1 (4) dislikes clothing - and one evening after a long particular struggle to get him to put pants on (when he was 2-3 or so,) DH said 'I'm sick of seeing your a**hole, put on pants.'

So for the last year, after DS1 finishes using the bathroom, he says "Wipe my a**hole please".

Charming.


----------



## Crunchie (Jan 9, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *delicious* 
I don't know when I started this, but when I ask the big kids to do something, I will say, "Hey can you guys pick up the legos, thanks." The thanks sort of implying that they WILL do it instead of make up excuses why they can't.

Well, now when they want something from me...."mom, can we have ice cream? thanks!"

lol.









Similar to that....when our little guy would ask for/to do something that we agreed with, my husband and I both have a habit of saying, "We can do that!" So now my almost 2-year old, when he asks for something that he knows we may say no to, he appends the question with "We can do that!" So, instead of just asking for ice cream, he says: "I can have ice cream, we can dooooo that!" in his best super-perky-I'm-the-cutest-toddler-in-the-world voice.


----------



## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

When ds was about 2.5... SIL and her little daughter (a little younger than ds) were over. Dh was drinking a bottle of beer. My niece pointed to it and asked her mom, "What is Uncle (DH) drinking?" SIL (I have no idea why...) stuttered and stammered, "He's... he's drinking... water...."

Ds looked at dh, looked at SIL, and declared, "Auntie, that's not WATER! That's a BEER!"

SIL looked embarrassed and changed the subject.


----------



## Dov'sMom (Jan 24, 2007)

Having a toddler is like having a moral reflection -- I'm learning about all my bad habits.

I get prickly sometimes, and it's usually a bad idea to talk to me when I'm mad -- much better to just wait a couple of hours. DH always wants to talk about everything right away, so I'm frequently telling him "Don't talk to me right now. Let's talk about this later."

So whenever DS (2.5) doesn't like what we're telling him (usually to stop doing X) he shouts: "Don't talk to me!"

I guess I'm also a little too impatient, because when DS wants something and I say "one minute," he answers, "No, Ima. Not one minute. Right NOW!"

I also tend to blame other people for my problems (mostly DH, not the kids). So the other day DS (newly toilet trained) says to me brightly: "Ima, I made urinade (well, when we "defacate" what comes out is "defecate," so he thinks urine works the same way) on the floor!" and when I asked him why he said "because you didn't take me to the bathroom!" Um, no, because you didn't TELL me you needed to go!

DS2 (16 months) walks around with his hands behind his back. He's been doing that since he started walking, and he looks so silly and self-important doing it, but nearly every time I notice him doing it I find I'm doing it too.


----------



## EnviroBecca (Jun 5, 2002)

To pick up items in the store and exclaim, with great indignation, "MADE IN CHINA!" or "TRANS FAT!" (Recently he refused to choose new sneakers, claiming they all had trans fat.







)

To gasp, "What terrible driving!" or "What terrible parking!" These, unlike the above, are usually accurate; no shortage of bad driving around here.







: He did once point out cars in a junkyard as "terrible parking".









When he was about 18 months, he learned from hearing his parents discuss his diaper that, if he did not want it changed, the thing to say was, "Seems dry." Then he learned our reaction to that. The result was that I would ask him, "Do you need a change?" and he would pat his crotch (outside his clothes







) and say, "Seems dry.







Dat's a bad sign!"

All the F-word stories inspire me to add that, at Girl Scout camp this past weekend, one of the other leaders taught the girls a card game that they learned is called "Egyptian Rat . . . Screw" and consistently pronounced that way, complete with pause.







I think all but the youngest girls realized what the real name must be but thought it was funnier to play along!


----------



## AAK (Aug 12, 2004)

to call our cat's in at night we stand on the porch and "click" our tongues. Turns out, I can "call" our kids that way now too. It actually is awesome, if I need them to follow me around in a place rather than to constantly sounding like a nag by going, "Maya, Maya, come on Maya" I just click my tongue. Works better than the words too.

Amy


----------



## vegemamato (Jul 4, 2007)

There was a guy with his arm out the window on the bus the other day.. My eight-yr-old asked why he wasn't following the 'keep arms in' rule and I said that I didn't know..

She then said "maybe he was drunk?"








:

(since I have three kids, I get three responses, right? one more to go..







)


----------



## Snowflower (Dec 19, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ixia* 
DS1 (4) dislikes clothing - and one evening after a long particular struggle to get him to put pants on (when he was 2-3 or so,) DH said 'I'm sick of seeing your a**hole, put on pants.'

So for the last year, after DS1 finishes using the bathroom, he says "Wipe my a**hole please".

Charming.

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY!!














laughup

ok. The "Sorry" thing. She's "Sowry, Sowry, Sowry..." A lot!
and.... To laugh at farts....


----------



## ShannonT (Dec 6, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *HarperRose* 
No, no, YOU need to learn from HIM. Seriously. My husband and I weight train and the best squat advice out there is to watch children do it. Children have a perfect squat. Adults would do well to watch and learn from them.

On that note, our 19 mo old can deadlift a 10 lb kettlebell.







We don't let him do it just willy-nilly, of course, but he watches us use our (much heavier) kbells and he picks up that 10 lb'er and goes to town!

My DD doesn't pick up heavy weights, but will help us load up our free weights with 1.25 and 2.5 lbs plates. She has her only little "heavies"-- those 1 lb dumbbells. She gets on the bench and does chest presses. She can also do biceps curls and overhead presses.









Her newest phrase that she's picked up is "Um, how about...?" when she doesn't like the choice I've offered her.

She's also been yelling that she's "stuck in the mud" whenever she gets stuck. Must have been that Clifford episode where the old cranky guy's boots got stuck in the mud.

And to the PPs who pick up stuff with their feet -- I do the same thing as well. My DH makes fun of my "finger toes", but it does come in handy! DD tries but doesn't get too frustrated when she can't. But, she doesn't have "finger toes" like I do.


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ShannonT* 
My DD doesn't pick up heavy weights, but will help us load up our free weights with 1.25 and 2.5 lbs plates. She has her only little "heavies"-- those 1 lb dumbbells. She gets on the bench and does chest presses. She can also do biceps curls and overhead presses.









I love it!!!














:

Quote:

Her newest phrase that she's picked up is "Um, how about...?" when she doesn't like the choice I've offered her.
My 7 yr old does this.









Quote:

And to the PPs who pick up stuff with their feet -- I do the same thing as well. My DH makes fun of my "finger toes", but it does come in handy! DD tries but doesn't get too frustrated when she can't. But, she doesn't have "finger toes" like I do.








I have long toes, too! My kids have tried, but they don't do it regularly.


----------



## William's Mom (Oct 6, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PPK* 
I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind









I can't stop laughing at this!!!


----------



## HarperRose (Feb 22, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *PPK* 
I inserted a tampon in front of ds one day (around 18 months) and now he tries to use one himself by stuffing it down his shorts. I decided to put the tampons out of reach and can no longer get ready naked because he'll surprise me by trying to use one on me from behind









I didn't want to forget to quote this one. It was HILARIOUS!!!!







:


----------



## ExuberantDaffodil (May 22, 2005)

I _thought_ "that scared the heck outta me!" and "What the heck!?" were bad. I felt guilty when ds started using those two intermittedly.

But my worst?

"Your mom."

Yes, I have a panache for your mom jokes and my son has heard me one too many times. I didn't even realize he had picked it up until one day we were running late, and he wasn't dressed yet. I said, "Where are your pants?!" and he said back, a perfectly adorable 4 year old voice, "Where are your mom's pants?"


----------

