# Do you correct people if they shorten your child's name?



## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

DS's name is Christopher. We call him Christopher. We have never called him Chris (I <3 Christopher... Chris, not so much). When he gets older, if he wants to shorten it, that's fine... but for now, our choice is to call him by the full name.
Sometimes, other people call him Chris. And it kind of bugs me. Because I always introduce him as Christopher, and I generally feel that you ought to address people the way they introduce themselves to you (so if they introduce themself as Mr. Smith... you call him Mr. Smith... not John). But it happens very infrequently and it's usually people that we see very infrequently... and I have felt uncomfortable correcting them. So I have just been letting it slide. But I'm really feeling like I just need to get up the guts and correct people (I have issues with confrontation)

So what do you do (if you're in a similar situation)? Do you correct them? Do you just let it slide? If you correct them, what do you say? And how do people typically react to you correcting them? If you don't correct them, why not?


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## dawncayden (Jan 24, 2006)

My friend named her son Joshua and I called him Josh when he was younger and she got really mad at me. I didn't understand why she got mad at me at the time since I imagined you wouldn't call your child a name in which you didn't like the obvious shortened names. I could see being upset if I was calling him Pete or something totally different. I can sort of see why your upset but I also think it's not a big deal.

I try to let things slide off my back as much as I can. I ask, 'is this REALLY a big deal?'

For my son, his name is Cayden and people try to shorten is name to 'Cee' or 'Cay', but it just doesn't flow off your tongue like Cayden does...for me though, I really don't care, I call him Cayden and as long as they aren't calling him something inappropriate and rude like Butthead, then whatever.


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## ShyDaisi (Jan 22, 2007)

It really drives me bonkers. My son's name is Micah. He is called everything from Mike to Mikey to Michael. I don't really mind Michael that much, but I do not care for "Mike" or "Mikey" at. all. When Micah introduces himself and the other person repeats it wrong, he will say, "No. Mi - CAH." (Not rudely, just emphasizing.)

If he doesn't correct them, I will... I am not mean about it. I just say, "No, it is Micah." I have never had someone say anything more than, "Oh, Micah, I really like that name." or "Oh, I went to school with a Micah." or something like that.

I think that if you aren't rude about it, they won't be either.


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

It doesn't bother me, but then I name my kids longer names with the intention of shortening them. My older one is Caitlin, she usually goes by Caiti but answers to Cate, Caiti, Caitlin and a bunch of other names







My second is Raeanna, we often call her RaeRae, though I am surprised to find I say Raeanna more often than Rae or RaeRae.

ETA: my name is Kimberly, but I go by Kim, and DH is Daniel, but goes by Dan. It's just something that seems natural and normal to me, to have an "informal" name and a "formal" name by having the long and short versions.


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## TiredX2 (Jan 7, 2002)

If it's a "one off" (as in we will probably not encounter them again & if we did would probably need to reintroduce ourselves) I don't correct. Otherwise I do. I've gone into school and talked to a teacher about this issue as well. With us, the issue is a bit different--- DS is a Nathaniel and goes by Nate. Either is okay with him, though he prefers Nate. What he doesn't like is being called Nathan. It's surprising the number of people who are introduced to him as "Nate" and call him "Nathan"


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## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

Yep. I correct. I dislike one of the nicknames for my son's full name and don't mind the other. If someone calls him by either nickname I simply state "Actually, it's <full name>".

I did it when he was a baby and by the time he could talk he corrected them himself.

Now that he is school age he has decided to go by the nickname I don't mind at school. I have told him that I prefer his full name but that I don't mind if he goes by that name. Now that he's old enough for an opinion I have asked him if he would prefer I call him by the shortened version and he just wants me to keep calling him by his full name.

When people now call him by the shortened version I generally ask them if he asked them to call him that. If it wasn't the way he introduced himself or how he asked them to address him I ask them to use his full name.


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## odenata (Feb 1, 2005)

My son's name is Benjamin, and we use his full name. In the instances I can think of where people called him Ben, what I did was use his full name in my next sentence. For instance, I get the question, "Is Ben walking yet?" and I reply, "Benjamin started walking a few months ago." It generally seems to work. I don't think I would correct someone unless I felt they were being purposely disrespectful by trying to shorten it.


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## curiouscanadian (Aug 28, 2009)

Honestly, although I love Christopher, Stephen, Daniel and Benjamin and the like, this dilemma of yours is exactly why I refused to name DS any of these names. People like to shorten names and create nicknames. It's just something they do, I think to create or reinforce whatever bond they feel. Heck my DH's name is Tye and people tried to shorten it to "T".









I think it's okay to gently correct people if you prefer, but unless and until it's your child that's the one insisting on the full name, I think it's a lost cause.


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## happysmileylady (Feb 6, 2009)

One other thing I wanted to mention, people tend to create nicknames when a name doesn't lend itself to one anyway. My sister is Sarah, but tends to go by "Slastname." I dunno why, I think it had to do with assigning email addresses for something







:


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## elsa_elsa (Nov 2, 2006)

;


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## 2xand2y (Sep 13, 2009)

I correct (as politely and gently as possible). Mostly, because I want my kids to be confident enough to stand up for themselves one day. They deserve to be called by whatever version of their name they choose and I should set a good example for them now.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *odenata* 
For instance, I get the question, "Is Ben walking yet?" and I reply, "Benjamin started walking a few months ago." It generally seems to work.

This is typically what I do. So they'll say, "How is Chris doing?" my answer "Christopher is doing great..." But it doesn't seem to work for me.

I get the idea behind the question, "Why name him something if you don't like the shortened version?" On the other hand, "Why call someone something if that's not how they are introduced to you?" My name is Shannan. But nobody takes it upon themselves to call me Shan (unless its someone in my immediate family and they are writing me a quick note or email).

Anyway, I will probably continue to respond like Odenata's example. And if it's someone we'll be around on a regular basis, I think I just need to say, "Oh, we call him Christopher" in an upbeat tone and then move on with the conversation.

Also, wanted to clarify that I don't usually get bent out of shape about it... Just sort of inwardly raise my eyebrow and move on. I was only thinking about it b/c of the thread about changing DC's names (not that I ever plan on changing his name... Christopher really fits him... one of the posts just got me thinking about it... and someone did call him Chris just the other day)


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## TulsiLeaf (Nov 23, 2009)

My daughters name is Madeleine. It's pronounced the proper french name (not Mad A LINE) and spelt that way. If I wanted to call her Maddy or Mads, I would have named her that. Her name is Madeleine and that is what we call her. She will even correct you.


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## lonegirl (Oct 31, 2008)

My name is Patricia. My family calls me Tricia or Trish. When I started school my mom told the teachers I was to be Tricia, Trish or Patricia....well in grade 2 the new girl (became my best friend until g10) started calling me Pat....it stuck. I introduce myself to new people as Pat or Patricia. My family still calls me Trish/Tricia. If others call me that it feels weird...sometimes hubby will call me Trish around family and it still feels weird (we've been together 20y)
So I think encouraging what you want your child to be called is fine....but don't expect it to stay.


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## BarnMomma (Dec 12, 2008)

I'm quite sensitive about nicknames. I have a very common name that can be shortened to so many names. I hated that growing up. We gave our son a name that has no nickname for that very reason. However, we're due to have a daughter any day now and we did pick a name(or you can she she picked her name- had a dream about her and she introduced herself w/the name) that can be nicknamed to names I really dislike, but I will probably correct people with a simple "She goes by _____" if they shorten it.


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## Joyster (Oct 26, 2007)

DH is Christopher, but goes by Chris. My name is short, so there were no convenient nicknames. DS1 doesn't have any either. DS2 is Alexander, so he does get Alex a bit. We'll usually name drop his full name in a sentence at some point, but it's not a biggie for me, since I also like Alex, DH prefers Alexander though. The only people I've ever heard call him Alex are from the islands, and it's a sign of affection so it's all good. I figured it would happen once he hit school and in the end, when he's old enough, he'll figure out what version he wants of his name.


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## mamadelbosque (Feb 6, 2007)

No, but it used to bug my mom like crazy. (though only with my brother - she had major issues with people calling him 'josh' instead of 'joshua', but didn't see *anything* wrong w/ people calling me 'em' instead of 'emily' :boggle: )


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

I don't mind being corrected. Usually I try to use the name that the parents use. Once, I referred to a baby as "Jamie" after I heard his parents call him that, only to be told it's "James". I didn't know what to make of that, honestly, but since then I've always called the kid "James". So my only advice to parents is to correct early and as often as needed, in a gentle manner, but watch what you use, since others take their cue from you.

I know 2 Christophers who have both preferred the full version to "Chris". I met them as adults and both I'm sure I had heard called "Chris" by other people. When I used Chris, each told me that it was Christopher - in a casual "oh by the way..." sort of manner.

DS has a 2 syllable, somewhat uncommon name that can be shortened to a much more common name, but no one ever does. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because we never call him by the nickname.


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## MommatoAandA (Jun 4, 2010)

I named both of my girls names that I didn't mind the nicknames. My youngest was almost Kendallynn but I didnt want her shortened to Kendall, so we went with a different name.

I do tell people their whole names and will correct someone about my oldest more often than my youngest.


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## nola79 (Jun 21, 2009)

I think it depends on the situation. If it's someone you won't ever see again, then who cares? People you encounter regularly, then yes.
Btw, my son's name is Andrew and I've always called him Andrew. I worked with a lady that always referred to him as Andy, and it drove me nuts. Yes, I corrected her, but we're talking everyday for 5 years. "How's Andy doing?" every morning.


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## 2ID_Wife (Jul 23, 2005)

My kids go by their full name, Katelyn, Breanna, Danelle..
And as young as 2 Katelyn would correct anyone that called her anything else.
I corrected people, her name isn't Katie it is Katelyn. Now at 12 goes by Katleyn.


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## StrawberryFields (Apr 6, 2005)

I do not correct people. My oldest is Andrew, we call him Andrew. Very occasionally someone will call him Andy. I don't correct them because in my opinion that is between the 2 of them and their relationship, not me. If someone asks me what we call him I say Andrew. I picked his name, I call him by his name, but what the rest of the world does is not for me to control. I might step in with an explanation if needed (like, "he isn't used to being called Andy") but so far not really necessary.


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## Alyantavid (Sep 10, 2004)

No. But my 8 year old does correct people who shorten his name because he prefers his given name. My 4 year old has lots of ways to shorten his name and neither he or I mind.


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## Adallae (Nov 11, 2009)

I don't correct, I figure I'll leave it to DD to decide what she wants to be called, I'm sure she'll have no problem correcting people when she can talk. Her name is Ameya. DH and I call her Mimi. My family picked up on that, and they call her Mimi as well. DH's family likes to call her Mia but she doesn't respond to it







. Eventually they'll figure it out, or she'll turn around and tell them.

My boss and co-workers shortened her middle name (Isabella) and call her Izzy.







Didn't see that one coming. They're 3000 miles away, so I just ignore it.

We've crossed lots of names off our list due to potential nicknames we didn't like.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

I will correct. Dh has it all the time. He goes by David (not his real name), will introduce himself as David, and get "hi Dave" in reply. He's politer than I am and lets it go, I correct every time.

Dd2 has a name that another name is very similar sounding to (like Alice to Alison). She gets called the other name frequently (even by a teacher) and I correct. She won't correct the teacher as she's too scared to, but I have spoken to him. His excuse was that the class before has a kid of the other name in it. So? You don't call her my kid's name, and you've known my kid since she was born. Get. It. Right.


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## KansasMom12 (Jun 21, 2010)

I just let my kids do the correction but making sure they do it in a polite way..


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## One_Girl (Feb 8, 2008)

It used to bother me when my dd was younger, but it wasn't something I made an issue of. Usually I am only bothered about little things like that when I am stressed out so I choose not to say anything because I don't want to have a nasty confrontation that is really driven by my stress over something else that is harder to control. My dd is good about correcting people if she feels the need to and always has been so I try not step in and do things that she can do herself. If it is something he cares about then I think you should teach him how to correct people on it, but if he hasn't showed any signs of caring then I think you should try to let it go.


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## BetsyS (Nov 8, 2004)

I go by a nickname. It used to bug my mom SO MUCh when people called me by my "big name". Me? I don't care, and I'll answer to either one (I'm Betsy, but my "big name" is Elizabeth). It doesn't really matter, though I know that I *am* Betsy, and the Elizabeth is just something some people call me.

My kids both go by nicknames. Only one relative tries to lengthen out ds#1's name, and I mostly ignore her. LOL. DS#2 goes by "Mac", and his bigger name is McDowell, so I think that's too much of a mouthful for most people.

Ds#3 doesn't have a good nickname yet (his name is Marshall), so we're anxious to see what he ends up with.


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## HeliMom (Jan 14, 2010)

Doesn't bug me at all heck my Username is a shortened version of my LO's name. So I can't relate as a parent. And as a kid I'd answer to any name I loved nicknames.

My sister however hated them. I can remember one day she said to my mom "My name is Julia, not jules, not juju, Julia. J-U-L-I-A" It cracked me up. I'm so waiting till I get that from my LO, because she is so like her aunt in many ways.

I would feel a little upset if I was corrected, but only because I'm sensitive. I truly believe people should be able to decide what they are called. I guess i'd just expect it to come from the child not the parent.


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## Marsupialmom (Sep 28, 2003)

Yes, I do politely correct people. My name is Regina, not Gina. I say something nicely for myself and did for my kids.


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## Tjej (Jan 22, 2009)

We let people make their mistakes. Generally my DD prefers her full name (since we call her that), so she doesn't necessarily answer to/recognize she is being spoken to when they use a nickname. We'll sometimes explain that when a person gets totally ignored by my DD when they are nicknaming her. My DS doesn't care, he'll answer to nicknames.

I guess I just feel that in the grand scheme of things - people love the kids and are talking with them and loving on them, so if they try to use nicknames with them then whatever.

Tjej


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I think I might have corrected people when dd1 was really little, like maybe up until she was 18 months or so, and then it mysteriously stopped bothering me. And it doesn't bother me with #2, whose name can be shortened in a trillion ways. And is shortened in a trillian ways.


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## KatWrangler (Mar 21, 2005)

Yes, I do correct people. I have a terrible time with people wanting to call Gabrielle Gabby or Gabs.







If I wanted to name her that I would of. But Gabrielle is her name.

Now, when she grows up and wants to shorten it, thats her decision. But I won't ever shorten it. Her Dad either.


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## Boot (Jan 22, 2008)

Names are powerful things. Slightly OT story. I'm a sub teacher and one time I had a class for a few months. One girl was *Margaret on the register but everyone called her *Maggie. I asked her which she preferred and she just shrugged. Then her mum cornered me and said 'her name is Margaret. She was just too shy to say to you'. I said fine and called her Margaret for the next 4 months. Meanwhile, all her classmates and her family called her Maggie. It felt a bit weird and as if I was being excluded from having a close enough relationship to use her nickname.

With my son, we picked a name that had a shortened version that we like. My dds name is hard to shorten and no one has tried so far.

*not the actual names


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## eepster (Sep 20, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shanniesue2* 
and I generally feel that you ought to address people the way they introduce themselves to you (so if they introduce themself as Mr. Smith... you call him Mr. Smith... not John).

Actually it is impolite to introduce yourself using Mr., Miss, or Mrs. Those are honorific titles and should be bestowed on you out of respect/courtesy.

Timmy is not short for Timothy, but people often assume it is and call DS "Timothy." Whether or not I bother to correct them depends on whether or not he is likely to ever see the person in question often enough for it to matter.


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## JollyGG (Oct 1, 2008)

This thread is making me smile because I was being a bit passive aggressive about my son's name over the weekend. My aunt made some aprons for a summer cookout with all of her great niece's and nephew's names and hand prints on it. My daughter was with me and she asked her if she could find her brothers hands and name. My daughter can't read yet so did need them pointed out. I looked at it and said "<nickname>. huh. I wouldn't have been able to recognize it either." But she's an aunt who is known for taking too many liberties like that and she just massively pushes my buttons. I didn't correct because it is a nickname my son does occasionally go by, but not often.

My husband went by his full name his whole life until college, when he discovered it's near impossible to convince drunk guys that your name is X when they want to call you Y. Once he got used to the nickname his frat. brother called him he now goes by that with me and my family and any close friends. But his family still calls him by his full name. Professionally, and formally he goes by his full name and he always signs his full name.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

You know I said I only corrected dd #1's name for the first 18 months, but I don't know if that's right. Her name is Sophia, and people sometimes call her Sophie, which I think of as another name rather than a shortening. And I like the name Sophie, but it isn't her name. I have corrected people, so I apologize for saying I haven't. I don't know why I don't mind so much with #2. I think because short versions of her name feel more like short versions of her name rather than another name.


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## Sierra (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *ollyoxenfree* 
Once, I referred to a baby as "Jamie" after I heard his parents call him that, only to be told it's "James". I didn't know what to make of that, honestly, but since then I've always called the kid "James".

I get that. We actually didn't name ds and dd (their first parents did), but there are some shortened versions of their names that I use as an occassional term of endearment but don't really like as names per se, and hope they don't become the names commonly used by others for ds and dd. When I use those shortened versions, I see it as a mother-kid thing. So far the only people who have really picked up and started using those terms of endearment are two of their aunts (my SILs). My PIL (my kid's grandparents) use the terms some, but not as often as the aunts. It bugs me a little, but I've decided to let it go. Afterall, my kids are extremely close to these folks.

What will bother me and tempt me to gently correct is if other people start hearing the aunts (or grandparents) using the terms and start using them as well. Like I said, I really don't want these to be the names my kids are ultimately known by.

I know how these names can stick. I have a close family friend who somehow ended up with the name Mimi during her first few years of life. She has tried to go back to her given name on occassion, but folks have never been able to let go of that nickname, and to this day I think she is still called by that.


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## nd_deadhead (Sep 22, 2005)

My twin sons are 15, so they do their own correcting. Their names are both short (James and Bryan), so there isn't much shortening to do. Once in a while someone will refer to James as Jim, and it doesn't even register with me until later that they were talking about my son! He just seems like a Jim. When he was a baby, I toyed with calling him "Jamie", but it sisn't suit him at all.

We actually gave them nicknames longer than their real names - Bryola-cola and Jaminator.

In middle school, some of their friends started calling James "Jimmy", which he doesn't mind. Interestingly, his brother calls him Jimmy among friends, but always James at home.

Bryan corrects people if they spell his name wrong (he was named after my grandfather, who spelled it with a Y).


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## Drummer's Wife (Jun 5, 2005)

It doesn't bother me at all with my particular kids' names, but, If I hated the nickname for a longer name, I wouldn't have picked it. Like if I couldn't stand Jessi, I wouldn't name my kid Jessica. But that's just me, and I know for other's it works out (w/o too much frustration). I know a Thomas who is only Thomas. Not Tom or Tommy, and that's just the way it is. I just know I would be irritated if it were truly a NN I didn't care for. Regardless, people should respect the kid's (and parents') wishes.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

I probably wouldn't correct someone, although I'd continue to use the full name in their presence and hope they caught on.

But it wouldn't bother me in the least if I was calling someone's son Chris and she said, "Oh actually we call him Christopher." I don't think there's anything wrong with doing that if it's important to you.

I accidentally called my friend's son Benjamin once, but his name is just Ben, not short for anything -- oops! She told me and then I made sure to call him Ben -- no biggie.







I try to call kids whatever their parents call them, but somehow I slipped up that time.


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## Irishmommy (Nov 19, 2001)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *mamazee* 
You know I said I only corrected dd #1's name for the first 18 months, but I don't know if that's right. Her name is Sophia, and people sometimes call her Sophie, which I think of as another name rather than a shortening. And I like the name Sophie, but it isn't her name. I have corrected people, so I apologize for saying I haven't. I don't know why I don't mind so much with #2. I think because short versions of her name feel more like short versions of her name rather than another name.

That's a perfect example of names for my example for dd2!


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## tabrizia (Oct 24, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Drummer's Wife* 
It doesn't bother me at all with my particular kids' names, but, If I hated the nickname for a longer name, I wouldn't have picked it. Like if I couldn't stand Jessi, I wouldn't name my kid Jessica. But that's just me, and I know for other's it works out (w/o too much frustration). I know a Thomas who is only Thomas. Not Tom or Tommy, and that's just the way it is. I just know I would be irritated if it were truly a NN I didn't care for. Regardless, people should respect the kid's (and parents') wishes.

You know I vetted my children's names with this theory. I wasn't planning on using a nickname, but if someone used one from their name, I didn't see anything that bothered me in the ones that could be derived from their names. To be fair there really isn't one from my DS' name, but there are a couple for my DD's name. That being said, my in-laws started off calling DD Ellie. Before she was born DH and I had discussed that nickname and decided we weren't planning on calling her Ellie, but it didn't bother us if people ended up calling her that. After she was her though she wasn't an Ellie and every time my in-laws called her that I winced internally. I didn't say anything other then referring to her by her full name when I talked about her or to her around them, but the nickname Ellie did/does not fit her. It just isn't her, she isn't an Ellie. Fortunately DS nicknamed her shortly after that and everyone has switched to using that when we use a shortened version of her name.

Before she was born though, I really thought I won't mind Ellie as a nickname for DD, and I might not if she chooses it later, but right now it just doesn't fit her and it isn't her and it rubs me the wrong way whenever someone calls her that. Even after vetting it ahead of time, so you can't always tell before the child is born if a certain nickname will bother you or not.

That being said I try to call a child the name their parent or they tell me to call them and I don't shorten it unless I am told, "This is Thomas, but we all call him Tom." or just told, "This is Tom."

To answer the original question, I might correct someone if they are calling my child a shorted version of their name that we don't use, unless I know I will never see them again, then it doesn't bother me. That being said I didn't correct my in-laws directly, because I felt it was a different type of relationship then a friend. I did correct my parents. DS at this point in time, tells people what his name is, and corrects them himself if they get it wrong.


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## nola79 (Jun 21, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Boot* 
Names are powerful things. Slightly OT story. I'm a sub teacher and one time I had a class for a few months. One girl was *Margaret on the register but everyone called her *Maggie. I asked her which she preferred and she just shrugged. Then her mum cornered me and said 'her name is Margaret. She was just too shy to say to you'. I said fine and called her Margaret for the next 4 months. Meanwhile, all her classmates and her family called her Maggie. It felt a bit weird and as if I was being excluded from having a close enough relationship to use her nickname.


Funny, I had a teacher that would refused to call me by my nickname, even though I had never, ever gone by my full name. Every time she would call roll, I would correct her and she would say, "Oh, your full name is too pretty for a nickname". It was strange


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## philomom (Sep 12, 2004)

Honestly OP, if you didn't like the name Chris... I wouldn't have named him Christopher.

My kids have short names that have no nickname possible. In this way, they are always called what I named them. Think Mark and Lea kind of short names.


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## MittensKittens (Oct 26, 2008)

My DD is called Kaya. Where we live, that is used as a nickname for Katherine, which also has alternative nicknames. It often happens that people (neighbors especially) call her Katia, which I don't like. I do correct them. Some people are very persistent though.


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## VisionaryMom (Feb 20, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *elsa_elsa* 
DS's name is Alejandro (a - lay - HAN - dro), which shortens to Ale (a-LAY). It's a mouthful for many English speakers. Most people are too afraid to repeat his name or attempt to shorten it (they usually give me a "deer in the headlights" kind of look), I often say, "you can call him Ale as well!" For some reason a lot of people interpret it as "Hunter" and I always correct them, gently.

I had a good friend named Alejandro in college, and he went by Handro. I always kind of liked that as a nickname.


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## shanniesue2 (Jul 4, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Irishmommy* 
I will correct. Dh has it all the time. He goes by David (not his real name), will introduce himself as David, and get "hi Dave" in reply. He's politer than I am and lets it go, I correct every time.

Dd2 has a name that another name is very similar sounding to (like Alice to Alison). She gets called the other name frequently (even by a teacher) and I correct. She won't correct the teacher as she's too scared to, but I have spoken to him. His excuse was that the class before has a kid of the other name in it. So? You don't call her my kid's name, and you've known my kid since she was born. Get. It. Right.

You know what, though... as a teacher, it can be really easy to accidentally call a child by a different name, especially if its similar to a name of another student. I will admit that I do it frequently, but every time I do, I apologize to the child, tell them that I know their name and openly tease myself a little for making the mistake "silly me. I know what your name is." Now if the teacher never makes an effort to get it right or to apologize if they mis it up in the moment, I think that's something different.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *eepster* 
Actually it is impolite to introduce yourself using Mr., Miss, or Mrs. Those are honorific titles and should be bestowed on you out of respect/courtesy.


I mostly used the title example because in some cases it is how you introduce yourself. My college boyfriend's parents introduced themselves to me as Mr. and Mrs. and that's what I called them, even though I was an adult at the time. Another example I can think of... is ministers. Some ministers go by Rev. so and so. Some go by Father so and so. Some go by Mother so and so. Some go by their first name. My general rule of thumb is that if they introduce themselves as "I'm father so and so" then I use the title. If they intoduce themselves to me as "I'm David." I call them David.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *philomom* 
Honestly OP, if you didn't like the name Chris... I wouldn't have named him Christopher.

Lots of people make the choice we did. There isn't anything wrong with it. And his personality really is a Christopher. And what about people who go by their middle name. My DH for example. His parents always called him by his middle name. Very few people even know his first name... but I guess you could say, "well if they wanted to call him B... then why did they name him E...?" I know lots of people who's parents have always called them by their middle name and that was the intent. We picked the name Christopher because we liked it and still do. If we had liked the name Chris that's what we would have put on the birth cert. And like I said, if he gets older and chooses to go by Chris, fine. But right now he's Christopher and that's how we and he introduces himself to people... he says, "name is Criffer" (it's as close as he can get right now)


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## rhiOrion (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm going to have this same dilemma. My DD is named Lorelei, and I like Lor and Eli just fine. I've thought of some other nicknames that I could see my friend's 16 month old DS calling her... such as Lola, Lala, etc. That's cool coming from him. I frequently call her "L" in writing.

But. I do not like Lora or Lori. They're fine names, but they are NOT my DD.

I actually liked Eli the best for a nickname for her, but my sister is naming her son (she's pregnant) Elijah and is calling him Eli. We had agreed that it wouldn't bother us if both our kids had the nickname Eli, but in actuality I think my DD will probably not end up going by Eli.

Today as I was in PetSmart they asked her name and I told them, and then they said "aawwww, laura! so cute!" It was one of those cases of people I'll never see again, so I didn't correct.


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## Lilypie32 (Aug 19, 2008)

My son has an unusual name and when he says his name it sometimes comes out as a more common name. If he tells someone his name and they repeat it the wrong way, I will kindly say it the correct way. His name cannot be shortened thank goodness. I'd be correcting people if they shortened it.







Nicely, of course.


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## thehighernest (Aug 11, 2009)

Interesting...Just the other day at a playdate, the father asked me if he should call my son Wes or Wesley, and what did I use more often when speaking to him. I didn't even think about it at the time, but in hindsight, I guess that was pretty considerate to ask. And it made me think about it: I don't mind Wes at all, but I almost always call him Wesley myself! He's only 15 months, so I don't think he minds either way







, but it will be interesting to see what he prefers as he gets older. I must have a subconscious preference for the full name.


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## curiouscanadian (Aug 28, 2009)

Quote:

Once, I referred to a baby as "Jamie" after I heard his parents call him that, only to be told it's "James". I didn't know what to make of that, honestly, but since then I've always called the kid "James". So my only advice to parents is to correct early and as often as needed, in a gentle manner, but watch what you use, since others take their cue from you.
This thread reminds me of some acquaintances who named their child something like Carson James Lastname. They called him CJ, which is fine, but absolutely HATED the name Carson. I guess that's sort of like using your child's middle name instead of their first, but I never understood why you'd even give your child a name you hated on its own???

Quote:

Regardless, people should respect the kid's (and parents') wishes.
I agree.


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## Lady Phoenix (Mar 17, 2008)

.


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

I gave a long time ago. I don't even correct most people anymore when they shorten my name. Heck even I am guilty of shortening the baby's name and her flippin name is Ava. Yeah, we call her Av. After years of correcting people my 14 year old started introducing herself as Maddee.. Really honey, exactly why did I bend over backwards? And my middle one. we shorten her name to Lick. uh huh. lick. (she is the real Lilyka). I have never really expected people to get her name right. But I figure if it means something to them they will correct and I will support them in it. but it usually means more to me and it is not my name so it is not my business.


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## Peony (Nov 27, 2003)

We rarely get someone that attempts it with my girls names, Madeline and Gabrielle. They do not go by Maddie or Gabbi, Madeline is 7 and will flat out refuse to answer to Maddie.







That usually stops the people that think their names must be shortened. Gabrielle is 3 and even she will say that her name is NOT Gab or Gabbie, although she lets her sister call her Gab.

I do say something simple like, they don't use nicknames.


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## Smokering (Sep 5, 2007)

Mm, tricky. I think if you're prone to being aggrieved by people calling your child the wrong name, it'd be wise to either choose an un-shortenable name or at least make sure you like the shortened versions. You can correct other people for 18 years, but your kid could still join a new company at 30 and have all his coworkers latch onto the nickname! (I get it, though. It grates on me when people call my dad Dave. He is NOT Dave-like. He is a sober, respectable David!)

I do think it's rude to use a nickname for a child without a good reason (like gearing the parents or other people call the kid by the nickname). On the other hand, I knew a family in which the _daughter_ got in trouble for calling her little sister Christiana Chris or Chrissie from time to time. That always seemed messed-up to me - if a SIBLING can't decide on a nickname, who can?

DD is Rowan, which could theoretically be shortened, but apart from us occasionally calling her Ensign Ro it doesn't happen. Most of our friends have picked up on our nicknames for her, and thus refer to her as Dude or Piggie.


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## Justmee (Jun 6, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *TiredX2* 
If it's a "one off" (as in we will probably not encounter them again & if we did would probably need to reintroduce ourselves) I don't correct. Otherwise I do. I've gone into school and talked to a teacher about this issue as well. With us, the issue is a bit different--- DS is a Nathaniel and goes by Nate. Either is okay with him, though he prefers Nate. What he doesn't like is being called Nathan. It's surprising the number of people who are introduced to him as "Nate" and call him "Nathan"









That's pretty much what I do. I don't correct the one offs, but I consistantly call him by his full name ot make it obvious that's what we use. The only ones who consistantly try to shorten it now are my parents







and my 5 year old.

When he was a baby he got PT and the PT called him by only his first name, then a shortened version of it. and then she finally asked me what we called him. As soon as she called him by his full name, he responded to her


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

DD's name is Constance, which I love. I loathe the nickname Connie. Absolutely, we would correct people if they called her that! No one has done that yet, though I've had many strangers ask, "Do you call her Connie?" I always try to be very nice, because it seems like they always have a wife/mother/sister named Connie


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## Artichokie (Jun 19, 2007)

my poor kid has so many nicknames that it is amazing she even knows what her actual name is. 

As long as it is said with love, I really don't care what ppl call her.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *shanniesue2* 
he says, "name is Criffer" (it's as close as he can get right now)

Aw, Criffer is kind of cute!


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## DaughterOfKali (Jul 15, 2007)

Yes, I correct them. If my son doesn't do it first.


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## alleybcat (Aug 9, 2005)

hmmmm... I have a Charles and a Benjamin. They both go by the obvious nicknames, but we call them all sorts of nicknames. We are just a casual friendly family and it seriously weirds me out to call a 1 year old or a 4 year old such a grown up name. We have friends who call them Charles and Benjamin, which doesn't bother me at all, just sounds weird.

I think that maybe you are being a little overly sensitive about it.


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## mummyofan (Jun 25, 2008)

yes for my son as he doesn't like Alex but uses sander. we call him sander and alexander
no for my daughter as she hasn't found one she dislikes.


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