# I need to vent about a mom in the Dr. office.



## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Took my Kids to the Dr. today the 6month old had a check up and the three year old was just along for the ride.

This lady comes in with her three kids I guess their ages to be 6, 4, and 6-8wks old. all boys. Cooper my three yr old tried to engage the 4yr old in play. You know how little kids nudge, and touch, and try to tickle that's what he was doing. Well the other Mom told her 4yr old to "push him back" Cooper wasn't pushing him...thankfully the kid didn't or his mom would have been on the way to Jail. I didn't say anything to her because the kid didn't push Cooper. Cooper continued to try to engage the older kids in play...They ignored him at their Mothers request, she contuilly told them not to get near him, that he's probably sick and if they get within 2ft of him they would get ing "big trouble". I engaged Cooper in play but he wasn't into it he wanted to play with the "big boys" Then he spied the baby...He LOVES babies. He very gently walked over to the babies carseat "the Mom was busy gabbing and didn't see him..and I was trying to get the baby latched on or I would have stopped him. He peeked in on the baby and the woman Yelled "EXCUSE ME GET AWAY FROM MY BABY" I so wanted to yell at her and tell her what I think but I didn't want to cause a scene...WHO the H E double hockey sticks does she think she is? I can't believe people think it's okay to yell at another persons child...let alone encourage their own child to push another. It's people like that who raise bullies.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

How sad for your son! I think what I would have done is taken my toddler and said to him, in a voice loud enough for her to hear. "I'm sorry that lady yelled at you. It's not right to yell, is it? I guess that mama doesn't let her kids play with other kids. That's okay honey, she should have used gentle words to tell you that. Now....why don't we read a book?"

Well, that's what I would LIKE to do...


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## CerridwenLorelei (Aug 28, 2002)

does she not think that people probably figure her kids are sick too?
what if they had infected Coop and whit?? ( see where I am going with this I hope...)


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## MamaPear (Oct 10, 2004)

Awww, I'm so sorry Mama. Some women are just plain RUDE! I'm sorry, but there is no excuse for her behavior. Props to you for keeping your cool.


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## User101 (Mar 3, 2002)

Yuck. I'm so sorry!


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Yuck! It breaks my heart when I see my little one or someone elses being so gentle and innocent and other parents being so mean spirited towards them. I guess she doesn't teach herself or her kids to think the best of others.







:
I'm afraid I would have said something.







:


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## CerridwenLorelei (Aug 28, 2002)

I don't agree with her hateful and rude tactics but I can understand not wanting other children near hers in a drs office
I can think of a dozen ways to get that across without being nasty like she was
so i am truly interested in gentle responses to this ..


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## Jane (May 15, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coopnwhitsmommy*
You know how little kids nudge, and touch, and try to tickle that's what he was doing.

The way you've described this, I think it's inappropriate behavior in your son. I wouldn't have allowed him to continue with this. Maybe I'm not understanding well, though.

Quote:

Well the other Mom told her 4yr old to "push him back" Cooper wasn't pushing him...thankfully the kid didn't or his mom would have been on the way to Jail.
On the way to jail? I don't understand. Your child was bumping her kid first.

I guess I'm just seeing that she made it really clear she didn't want her brood to interact with your kids and I don't understand why you didn't circle your wagons in a little tighter and keep away. She'd shown her colors early on and your child continued to bug her kids and creep over to her _baby_. I'd have said the same things she said, with the exception of "push back".


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Apricot*
The way you've described this, I think it's inappropriate behavior in your son. I wouldn't have allowed him to continue with this. Maybe I'm not understanding well, though.
On the way to jail? I don't understand. Your child was bumping her kid first.

I guess I'm just seeing that she made it really clear she didn't want her brood to interact with your kids and I don't understand why you didn't circle your wagons in a little tighter and keep away. She'd shown her colors early on and your child continued to bug her kids and creep over to her _baby_. I'd have said the same things she said, with the exception of "push back".

ITD ...the op said, "I was trying to get the baby latched on or I would have stopped him."


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

Hmmmm....I am seeing what Apricot is trying to say.

My guess is the other mom thought your child was indeed, pushing/nudge etc, or my guess she wouldn't have said to "push him back"....not that i in anyway advocate pushing back!

I can be quite the persnickety one when it comes to issues like this involving my kids and others. Even if you thought her response way out of line, a bit over-reactive, i would have pulled my wagons a bit closer too.

I don't understand how she would go to jail, though? I'm not getting that.


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Apricot*
The way you've described this, I think it's inappropriate behavior in your son. I wouldn't have allowed him to continue with this. Maybe I'm not understanding well, though.
On the way to jail? I don't understand. Your child was bumping her kid first.

I guess I'm just seeing that she made it really clear she didn't want her brood to interact with your kids and I don't understand why you didn't circle your wagons in a little tighter and keep away. She'd shown her colors early on and your child continued to bug her kids and creep over to her _baby_. I'd have said the same things she said, with the exception of "push back".

Okay Cooper will be three next month...have you ever seen a little one giggle and nudge another child in play, attempt to tickle...we're not talking rough housing here just gentle nudges that say come play with me chase me run around with me? He wasn't pushing, or bumping he was close to the kid trying to engage him in play...I saw nothing inappropriate about it for a little one.
Maybe on the way to jail was a bit strong...I would have gotten her name and made a complaint to CPS...for instructing her child to purposfully physically endanger my child. And yes I think it would be totally appropriate to call CPS on a parent who intructs her kids to hit push pinch or otherwise injur another child. Even if Cooper was "bumping" her kid first that doesn't give her the right to tell her kid to push mine. Thankfully the kid had more sense than his mother...he actually gave her a look and just moved away from Cooper.

She did make it clear that she didn't want her brood to interact with my child. But if she was so intent on keeping her children away from mine she shouldn't have let them into the play area, if she was worried about her kids getting sick she wouldn't have let them press their faces up against the fish tank where a hundred other kids with snotty noses had pressed up against that day. She never said a Word to me...she yelled at MY SON. She made NO attempts to keep her kids away from where mine was playing...none whatsoever This is what I'm angry about...that she took it upon herself to discipline a total stranger.

IMO if she didn't want kids to come look at the baby she wouldn't have left him on the floor in a carseat while she gabbed to the lady next to her and talked on her cell phone. (totally ignoring the baby) It's common knowledge that little ones love to look at babies. I know when I'm in there with my 6month old he is sitting on my lap or in his sling not 6inches off the floor for all people between knee high and hip high to see. As I said before I was trying to get Whit latched on...I wasn't exactly hands free to grab Cooper before he got to the baby...I did call him back about 3seconds before he was yelled at.
As for circling my wagons I did...I tried to engage Cooper in play away from the other kids...but he plays with Mommy all the time he wanted to play with the kids. IMHO what she said was completly inappropriate. This is what I'm angry about.


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## bendmom (Sep 4, 2003)

We have stopped going to a general Peds. for that reason. We don't really want Aidan to play with the toys or touch other kids at those places because we don't want him to catch something, or give something. But if he seems interested then we just make sure that he washes his hands when we leave. I also make sure to take a blanket with me when we go to places like that to put over Bryn's carseat so others won't be inclined to look in and touch. I always let kids look, but remind them that we don't touch if we are sick.

I think she may have had the right reasons for her behavior, just poor execution. DEFINATELY wrong to yell at your son, and so sorry for that.


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *bendmom*

I think she may have had the right reasons for her behavior, just poor execution. DEFINATELY wrong to yell at your son, and so sorry for that.


Oh sure she had the right motivation for her behavior about not wanting her kids to play with mine for fear they would get sick...she did NOT have the right motivation to tell her kid to push mine...and she did NOT have the right at all to yell at my kid. I'm still so angry I could Spit


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## lilyka (Nov 20, 2001)

She was way off base yelling at your son and telling him to puch back. She should have spoken directly to you.

on the other hand I agree with apricot. You clearly got the messege that she didn't want your child touching her child and you still let him, even allowed him to go up to her newborn. You should have brought him back to your side. got him situated and then delt with your baby. You knew this woman was moody at best and didn't have a problem with "pushing back". while her rudeness was inexcusable her irritation with your son and your lack of intervening wasn't. If youcouldn't supervise him in the playroom because you were busy with the baby (understandable) you should have kept him by you if for no other reason than to protect him from that lady.


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## canadiyank (Mar 16, 2002)

I would have been pretty shocked at that lady's behaviour. I'm sorry it happened.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

Aww honey, I'm sorry that happened, too.

Your little guy sounds awfully sweet!


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coopnwhitsmommy*
Okay Cooper will be three next month...have you ever seen a little one giggle and nudge another child in play, attempt to tickle...we're not talking rough housing here just gentle nudges that say come play with me chase me run around with me? He wasn't pushing, or bumping he was close to the kid trying to engage him in play...I saw nothing inappropriate about it for a little one.

Maybe not, but maybe the other child didn't particularly enjoy being nudged OR the proximity of your son. Both of my children are friendly and playful, but they are both somewhat possessive of their personal space. Even as young children, THEY would have been annoyed at another child acting that way. It's possible that this mama told her kid to push back after her kid looked at her with puppy-dog eyes that asked "what do I do?" I'm not saying that the mama's instructions were good ones.

Quote:

I would have gotten her name and made a complaint to CPS...for instructing her child to purposfully physically endanger my child. And yes I think it would be totally appropriate to call CPS on a parent who intructs her kids to hit push pinch or otherwise injur another child.
I think that would be frivolous and a complete waste of CPS's time. I doubt they would even take that call seriously. Especially if the other child felt like he was being bothered first.

You know, my son takes karate. The whole point of karate is self-defense. You might as well call CPS on me, too, because my kids have been taught not to start fights, but they can damn well finish them. If someone physically bothers them and won't stop, and they can't escape the area, they have permission to "push back."


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

from a couple of replies to this post I feel like I should 'punish' Cooper for being a kid and wanting to play with other kids. so in the future perhaps this is what I'll do

When a Mom comes in and doesn't want her kids to play with mine for fear he will give them a deadly disease. I will sit Cooper next to me...forcing him to watch the other kids have fun...making him feel miserable and make him think he's in trouble. If he escapes while I am paying attention to the baby I will put my tired hungry screaming infant down while I retrieve my child from 4ft away then since obviously sitting next to me didn't work and he is now fighting me I will sit upon him to "protect' him from being a 3yr old kid. I will then retrieve my baby who by now thinks Mommy must have died or somthing because she's not here and i'm hungry. All the while the other kids are playing with germ infested toys, and pressing thier noses up against a snot covered fish tank. Sounds reasonable to me!

Oh and I did not continue letting Cooper touch the other kids...I told him not to touch again and he didn't. When he tried to engage them in play a second time...he did so by standing a foot away and saying chase me and giggling...and my pointing to the fish in the tank and talking about the fish and laughing...no more touching. Thanks for your suggestions though...really helpful


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

sorry for the sarcasam


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2tadpoles*
You know, my son takes karate. The whole point of karate is self-defense. You might as well call CPS on me, too, because my kids have been taught not to start fights, but they can damn well finish them. If someone physically bothers them and won't stop, and they can't escape the area, they have permission to "push back."

I doubt you are standing there telling your son to push another smaller younger child. Maybe calling CPS would be frivolous...but it would have made me feel better, and maybe the lady would learn a lesson. To me telling your child to push another child is the equivalant to you pushing the child. It wasn't like the kid couldn't get away either...he had plenty of room to move away...and he did after his mom told him to push my kid.


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## kathywiehl (Dec 9, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coopnwhitsmommy*
from a couple of replies to this post I feel like I should 'punish' Cooper for being a kid and wanting to play with other kids. so in the future perhaps this is what I'll do

When a Mom comes in and doesn't want her kids to play with mine for fear he will give them a deadly disease. I will sit Cooper next to me...forcing him to watch the other kids have fun...making him feel miserable and make him think he's in trouble. If he escapes while I am paying attention to the baby I will put my tired hungry screaming infant down while I retrieve my child from 4ft away then since obviously sitting next to me didn't work and he is now fighting me I will sit upon him to "protect' him from being a 3yr old kid. I will then retrieve my baby who by now thinks Mommy must have died or somthing because she's not here and i'm hungry. All the while the other kids are playing with germ infested toys, and pressing thier noses up against a snot covered fish tank. Sounds reasonable to me!

Oh and I did not continue letting Cooper touch the other kids...I told him not to touch again and he didn't. When he tried to engage them in play a second time...he did so by standing a foot away and saying chase me and giggling...and my pointing to the fish in the tank and talking about the fish and laughing...no more touching. Thanks for your suggestions though...really helpful

FWIW, I think YOU are right! I can tell you are so frustrated with this situation and I don't blame you. If a mama doesn't want her kids around other kids, don't let them play in the play area- simple as that! What were you supposed to do? If she didn't want her kids to play with your son, she should have had them sit with her and stay out of the play area. That is just ridiculous!

People just don't think. The lady was being rude and if she had a problem with something your child was doing, she should have spoke directly to you instead of instructing her children to push your son. That's wrong. You did nothing wrong in the situation and you have every right to be upset and hurt by her actions toward your child. I would be too.


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coopnwhitsmommy*
I doubt you are standing there telling your son to push another smaller younger child.

When my 13yo was 7, there was a boy in our old neighborhood that took a disliking to him after having been his friend for some time. This boy hit him, pushed him, threw rocks at him, etc. This boy's parents were FRIENDS of ours who lived a few houses away. Dh and I spoke to them more than once and the behavior continued.

I told Jakob that if the child continued to bully him, he was allowed to hit him back. Jakob told the child that he'd been given permission to punch him right in the face and that he wouldn't get in trouble for it. The kid stopped bothering my son. Jakob never did hit him.

No, the boy wasn't smaller or younger. They were the same age and the boy was bigger than my child. But yes, I have told him to hit back if he's being repeatedly assaulted.

I already said I thought the lady in the doctor's office was out of line. I still don't think that constitutes abuse and I think CPS has more important things to be looking into.


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## 2tadpoles (Aug 8, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *kathywiehl*
If she didn't want her kids to play with your son, she should have had them sit with her and stay out of the play area. That is just ridiculous!

Not all offices have separate waiting areas. Actually, I don't recall the OP stating that they were in a play area. To me it sounded like a regular waiting room with a few toys and a fish tank.

Anyway, I've never allowed my children to run and chase each other in waiting rooms. That's outside play, IMO.


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

Hind sight is 20/20, right? There are lots of things you could have said or done, CWM&#8230;none of those things change the fact that this woman was way out of line.

I would be shocked if anyone advised their child (or anyone) to push my child no matter the situation.


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## sunnmama (Jul 3, 2003)

I'm sorry that happened to your sweet ds







That lady was out of line.

To address the nudging/touching/etc....my dd *hates* to be touched by people (including children) that she does not know (and even some she does know). That friendly nudging, etc would have been a big problem for her. That said, I would NEVER tell her to push back! Even though she "receives" it as a push (she has SID--has a fight or flight response to some forms of touch), and gets upset, clearly the child is not pushing. That is just dd's perception, but not the reality.

So my (tricky) job becomes to "protect" dd while honoring the benevolent intentions of the other child. I will usually invite dd onto my lap. I might give her polite words "please don't touch me". If a child continues to approach, touch her, I will say to the child "She does not want to hug (play, be touched, etc)."

I have been grateful for observant, considerate mamas who see the difficulty dd (and I) and having, and redirect their sweet, friendly child. That doesn't always happen, but I am grateful when it does.


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *2tadpoles*
Not all offices have separate waiting areas. Actually, I don't recall the OP stating that they were in a play area. To me it sounded like a regular waiting room with a few toys and a fish tank.

Anyway, I've never allowed my children to run and chase each other in waiting rooms. That's outside play, IMO.


The play area is a 10x10foot fenced play area with a large fish tank against the wall. toys are not allowed outside of the play area.


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sunnmama*
I'm sorry that happened to your sweet ds







That lady was out of line.

To address the nudging/touching/etc....my dd *hates* to be touched by people (including children) that she does not know (and even some she does know). That friendly nudging, etc would have been a big problem for her. That said, I would NEVER tell her to push back! Even though she "receives" it as a push (she has SID--has a fight or flight response to some forms of touch), and gets upset, clearly the child is not pushing. That is just dd's perception, but not the reality.


I would not have had a problem at all if this woman had said "hey your kid is bugging mine could you get him to stop?" If I had thought Ds was bothering the kid I would have told him to stop. I feel badly if DS was indeed bothering the kid...but from what I observed DS was bothering the Mom...but I could be completly wrong there since I don't know the kids cues.


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## Mama2E&O (Sep 7, 2004)

This scenerio made me so mad for you and your little boy!!! I would have been so flaming angry at that woman bullying my small child! With me sitting right there! And that is how I view it: bullying. Telling her son to push him back? She might as well have pushed him herself imho, because she was teaching all the children involvd that physical violence is okay. If she had a problem with your ds touching her children and she felt it necessary to say something to him, she should've said nicely: "oh, let's play gently with each other. I don't think my dc likes to be tickled." or something equally gentle and age-appropriate for a 3 year old.
I have a problem with this being related to karate. Your 3 year old was not doing karate on anyone. And if this woman felt that her children should stick up for themselves or "defend" themselves, she needs to teach them non-violent ways to do so, and what is appropriate when and where. And for the record, I am not saying karate is violent: my husband knows karate, and my FIL teaches it, and we want my dd to get into it as well. But there is a time and a place for when something like that is necessary. Self defense between a 3 year old and another child in a ped's waiting room is not the time or place. And if my dd did karate on another child to settle anything I would be upset. It is for true self defense.
There have been times when other children were shoving, slapping or kicking at my dd, and I spoke gently to the children telling them "we need to play nicely" and then spoke with my daughter about it more in depth later. It is not another person's job to discipline other's children. We should be worrying about our own and how this kind of thing affects them.
I don't blame you for wanting to contact CPS because that would've been my instinct too, though in the end I would not have done it. The point you are making is that there is a parent out there teaching her children it is all right to react to others with violence (again, I'm not at all referring to karate). I think what I would've done is informed the pediatrician or someone there in the office. Not that they could really do anything, but it would make you feel like something had been done. And who knows? They might take note of it and notice how she is treating her children in the future.
Again I'm sorry this happened! Is your ds okay? I hope so, poor little guy.


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## heartmama (Nov 27, 2001)

Hey I think you did a great job mama!

I think your CPS comment was way over the top even if her child had pushed back~I am just assuming here that in trying to be calm in the moment you are now venting the frustration you felt. Actually calling the courts for something like that would make you the out of control bully mom, kwim?

I think that everything you described clearly points up what nasty temperment the other mama possessed.

It was 100% the other mama's job to restrict her children in that situation. You were using the facility correctly. Your child wanted to play in the *play area*. After nudging the other kids you asked him to use his words *and he did*, which I find amazing at that age frankly.

She *left her baby on the floor of a waiting area* and snarled at your 2 year old for daring to notice.

My son is medically fragile and I cannot even begin to imagine acting like that woman. When my son was a baby I did not even sit in the waiting area. I sat in he nurse's station. If I did have to use a waiting area I held him in a sling, and paced the floor in the hallway. When we go to the doctors now I bring him things to do, since I personally don't want him using the toy's there. But if another child asked him to play I am SURE he would, and I would just have him wash his hands afterwards. I cannot imagine blaming the other kids.

Sure if your kid came in swinging and punching, knocked over her baby's carseat, I could see her getting freaked, but that is not what happened, and there was no need for you to adjust your response here, IMO, you did a fine job.


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## monkey's mom (Jul 25, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *coopnwhitsmommy*
I would not have had a problem at all if this woman had said "hey your kid is bugging mine could you get him to stop?" If I had thought Ds was bothering the kid I would have told him to stop. I feel badly if DS was indeed bothering the kid...but from what I observed DS was bothering the Mom...but I could be completly wrong there since I don't know the kids cues.

Exactly--there's a way to civilly enforce boundaries and then there's this mom. :LOL

And I would be blowing a lot of smoke, too, if someone encouraged harming my child--but that's all it would be: talking smack (as the kids would say







).


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## magster (May 4, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *lilyka*
She was way off base yelling at your son and telling him to puch back. She should have spoken directly to you.

on the other hand I agree with apricot. You clearly got the messege that she didn't want your child touching her child and you still let him, even allowed him to go up to her newborn. You should have brought him back to your side. got him situated and then delt with your baby. You knew this woman was moody at best and didn't have a problem with "pushing back". while her rudeness was inexcusable her irritation with your son and your lack of intervening wasn't. If youcouldn't supervise him in the playroom because you were busy with the baby (understandable) you should have kept him by you if for no other reason than to protect him from that lady.









Repeating what she said.


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## gaialice (Jan 4, 2005)

Maybe I am off line, too, but I think this forum is not about assigning guilt, giving judgement, etc about either us or other people. I think that is not constructive. This forum is really about helping each other grow as parents, by sharing things that we do that work, and things that we do and don't work, sharing mistakes and achievements, asking for advice...
Of course, sometimes one of us feels like venting about the non-GD approach of other people, that's fine, she deserves our support, especially that we live in a very very non-GD world. However, I feel people went a bit overboard on this particular thread .... especially one post I read that said that the mom should have held her boy closer to her..... do you know how it is really like in real life when you have a toddler and an infant to look after?! We should not be striving to become supermoms, this just creates guilty feelings .....


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

Gaialice, thank you for your gentle post. I agree with your observations.


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## hunnybumm (Nov 1, 2003)

I really feel for the OPer and the situation you were in. My DS is 15 months and I totally understand the "initiating play" things that children do. My DS will just walk up to a strang kid, stand right next to them and flash a smile, laugh or try and give them a hug. We were at the doc office when DS was 1 and there were about 5 kids all play together, family I think. One little girly was sick and didn't want to be touched. DS kept walking over in her area, not touching her, but close to her and she was freaking out so I kept redirecting him to play with the other 4 kids who didn't mind his presence.

I think you did all that can be expected of a mother with a toddler and an infant. You can't force your child to sit next to you when other children are out and about playing.

If the other mother had a problme she could have made her children sit down and stare at the wall. If not, they could have all played happily.


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## MamaPear (Oct 10, 2004)

Wow! I am shocked at the responses to this thread! Hugs to you CWM! I am sory that this lady and some of the posters have treated you so tactlessly. Perhaps things could have been done differently on both sides, but they weren't. This is what happened and I think you handled it the best way you could. It is definitely tough to be out with a toddler who wants to run and play and a hungry infant who needs to nurse. I think we all need to have a little compassion for each other and treat others with a little more respect.


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## Staceyhsmom1 (May 7, 2002)

oh my!
I guess I don't get out often, or what I mean is, I guess I don't get to see this side of mdc often. It has been really interesting reading all the comments! here's mine:

First







to your son for the awkward situation and for you for this post turned awkward post
Sometimes I just read the thread starter(the first post) then I reply, but I read all the replies, it does seem like you are being attacked, and it's ovious others feel they're attacked. Maybe they could start there own thread...'poster felt attacked, but now I feel attacked'....geez!

What I first felt was 'kudos' to you for staying calm, I didn't see anywhere that you replied to the other mom. And maybe by staying calm, the mom may rethink her own behavior and do things differently in the future. I am an optomist and firmly believe we are where we should/need to be, so I am not judging the other mom, or you. But to me I see the validation of your statements and agree with them and can only hope the other mom won't be so quick to judge.
I hope everyone's not so quick to judge!


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## Treasuremapper (Jul 4, 2004)

OK, here is a slightly different take on this.

My second daughter, Rosie, had some very serious medical problems when she was first born. In fact, for six months after she was born we stayed home almost completely except for trips to the pediatrician's office (infectious disease central) because the risk of illness would have been so dangerous for her. I hated going to the pedi's office, but we had to go, kwim? I kept my older dd home during this time, too, because otherwise she could have caught something and then spread it to the baby. I would have kept my dh home from work but that just wasn't possible. So I would have been very uptight if I gave every possible indication that I didn't want my children to interact with another family's children and they kept coming over. I would have addressed you, perhaps apologetically, and briefly asked that the kids be kept separated due to medical problems. Obviously, I didn't spill my dd's medical problems to everyone in sight, but I tried to keep other children away from her as much as possible.

I don't consider telling one's own child to push another child "back" to be tantamount to child abuse.

I do find it disgusting the way people will do incredibly rude things to children when the concerns should be more appropriately addressed to the parent. I have been pretty stunned by that.

Doncha hate those long waits at the pedi's office?


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MamaPear*
Wow! I am shocked at the responses to this thread! Hugs to you CWM! I am sory that this lady and some of the posters have treated you so tactlessly. Perhaps things could have been done differently on both sides, but they weren't. This is what happened and I think you handled it the best way you could. It is definitely tough to be out with a toddler who wants to run and play and a hungry infant who needs to nurse. I think we all need to have a little compassion for each other and treat others with a little more respect.









ITA


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## sahmof2girls (Feb 9, 2005)

People, she just wanted to vent, and get support not get bombarded with mean OPINIONS. I think that you handled the situation as best as you could with the babe on the boob. I think the other mother acted very innaproprietly. I have kids com up to dd who at the time was 1 week old very sick and snotty wanting to touch and play with her. The mothers thought it was fine and I would just say "isn't she cute? But you can't touch her because you are sick" and I actually read a book to a little girl because her mamma was busy doing whatever. And Sofia who is 3 likes to play with other children but if i think she is over stepping someones boundries I let her know. And I totally agree that it is your place to speek to your children not someone else. Especially the mother. I am sorry you had to deal with that. I hope your other visits go better!!!!


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## Petranis (Feb 15, 2005)

So sorry this has happened especially as it is so tricky when you are trying to nurse and you have another little one. I am also sorry that you have come across so much unecessary judgement here.


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## coopnwhitsmommy (Jan 13, 2005)

Thank you all for your insightful posts.


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## PuppyFluffer (Mar 18, 2002)

I am closing this thread as it is no longer a productive conversation.


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