# March 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Welcome to the Rockstar Mamas thread! Our wonderful group of mamas started following each other in the Charting to Avoid thread over in fertility. Eventually we created "The Whatever Ladies!", a safe place for those of us who were not trying to prevent pregnancy, though not actively trying to conceive either. Spread out over a year, we all got pregnant and had our current babes- several whom are over a year old now!

We made the decision to switch to Rockstar Mamas, after a conversation about how each and every one of us was a Rockstar in some way, for living and thriving through the parenting challenges thrown our way every day. Feel free to join us in our thread, but be warned, the conversation moves fast!

Not really rules but something to consider if you join:

1. Need to be chatty

2. Know that we are all vastly different from one another but we've become friends so we respect those differences. We are vaxers and nonvaxers; homeschoolers, unschoolers, public schoolers; run the gamut from vegan to paleo; some of us want more kids, some don't, and some aren't sure...but we all manage to really get along and come together on things we DO agree on.

3. Aren't afraid to ask each other the hard questions or point out the obvious when/if we want advice!

Member List:

Round 1
lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/01) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012
Euromama

Round 2
akind1 (due 3/6/13) ~ Baby boy born March 11, 2013

Last month's thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1373799/february-2013-rockstar-mamas-thread


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

kat ~ glad you are back home. what happened? your first post looks like it was partly deleted.

we don't kiss much, either. dh is not a good kisser. i've tried to teach him how to kiss better but he doesn't get it, even when i have said, "kiss me like this." he really is so dense sometimes.







Maybe if he had said to me, "Hey, I heard this thing about kissing for a whole minute. Want to try it?" I might be up for it. But coming at me while I'm sort of pinned on the couch and setting a timer without explaining anything creeps me out.

I'm ready for menopause so I don't have to worry about babies at all. I had my first day of ewcf this cycle yesterday. I was actually expecting it. I recognized the build up to it. Whenever I'm fertile my mind tries to play tricks on me, like telling me that having one more baby wouldn't be so bad. No way! I am definitely done! (Although, I still wish I could have a girl, but taking a 50/50 risk isn't worth it.







)

I've been wondering if part of my increased irritability and moodiness could be the beginnings of menopause. Did I tell you all that the midwife I saw for my annual exam asked if I was having any menopause symptoms yet? When I told her I was breastfeeding she said I probably wasn't and, if I was, I wouldn't be able to tell that from breastfeeding hormones. I've been waking up almost every night sweating to death. I mean so hot that I'm ripping off clothes and wet with sweat. And I even turn down the temperature on the thermostat before going to bed.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh wow that does sound like, from what I've heard, mw. That's crazy. Bf'ing and menopause at the same time!

I was thinking lately how I have no strong urges or feelings to wean Finn. Nothing. I'm still really happy to continue nursing on cue with him. Comparing it to my nursing relationship with Nora is strange b/c when she was this age I was really feeling done. I wanted to be done by 2, and we were. Thinking that is only 6 months away is frightening to me! I can't imagine it. I'm holding on to nursing Finn with every fiber of my being!!

I'm SO ready for DH to come home tonight. Tmw I need a break. I'm not sure what I'll do -- I don't really want to DO anything. Part of me just wants to go sit at starbucks with a book. I think that's what I might actually do!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Subbing quickly!

Carrie-- Starbucks with a book sounds like HEAVEN right now!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh wow that does sound like, from what I've heard, mw. That's crazy. Bf'ing and menopause at the same time!


And, it appears my cycles might be getting shorter. Isn't that a menopause symptom? They are becoming more "normal". I'm on cd16 now with three days of ewcf. Hmmmm....

I'm on my own tonight. DH has a function to go to. I knew about the function but what I didn't know was that he is planning to spend the night. It's about an hour or so away and he'll be drinking so he doesn't want to risk a DUI. Very responsible of him, though he barely drinks at all. I don't think I've ever seen him have more than two beers in a night. I'm not upset that he's spending the night. I am a little annoyed that he didn't tell me until just now and only because I asked what time he'd be home. He swears he told me but I'm sure I would have remembered that. Plus, he didn't tell me the name of the hotel. Again, he said he told me when he booked it. Um, no. I would have remembered that, too. I told him to have fun with his date, Kim.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh geez!!! Smh seriously!

I think tmw I'm actually going to go to either ruby tues or cheesecake factory and sit and have completely kid free/ baby free time with my bff danielle. OMG i hope it happens. We are going to have margaritas and TALK. I can't even describe how much im looking fwd!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

How did your kid free day go Baby_Cakes?

Ava is making up for all the food she didn't have last week. She ate dinner four times last night and she ate almost a whole bag of frozen carrots that I had cooked in chicken noodle soup. Craziness!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Yesterday was amazing. Just plain wonderful! Aside from sleeping in and all that, I went shopping at the mall and got new jeans and a few cute tops for summer, met with my gf and we sat over margaritas and burgers and chatted for TWO HOURS! No interruptions, about serious things, our relationships, our own families growing up, our feelings about things...oh it was great. Good food too. We went to the cheesecake factory, I haven't been there in probably 4 years. After we finished up, she had to go home, so I went to Buy Buy Baby to see if I could get another NoseFrida since ours have gone MIA. They were sold out! I was like wtf? So I putzed around and picked up a few things. That store. Omg. They must have baby fever being forced thru the hot air vents b/c DAMN was I starting to think about another while I was there! I'm also ovulating so of course I've got the fertile crazies right now and am not thinking straight. I looked at carseats for a bit and helped a young couple with an infant. Taught them car seat safety and how to use the convertible seat they were eyeing, and explained why extended rear facing is safest. They were so responsive! I think I really helped them out!

I also was looking at potty stuff for Finn. I'm going to jump in soon, I think. I got him a flap book for us to read together about using the potty and I'm almost thru/understanding the oh crap guide. I'm nervous b/c I know how hard the first few months w/a newly potty trained child is and I'm not looking fwd -- but I also know it's never as bad as you picture it to be, and it's really the next logical step right now so, it'll be ok.

So glad Chris is home. We are like kids in love again. I hope these romantic feelings linger for a long time.







Today is his birthday, and we are going out to eat later. It's going to be nice to get out with him alone!


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Hooray for a great day! Carrie! You deserved it!
JJ: love when babies flirt!
MW: wondered what the Kim comment on FB was about, get it now!
On Thursday, went to regular appointment and BP spiked to 158/84, with +1 protein in urine. Went down a little on recheck, to 140/70, but sent over to observation for labs, serial BP checks and another urine sample. BP went down, urine was clear, labs good, was sent home.
Next appointment is Monday morning. Working on evicting baby naturally as they won't induce. No luck thus far, but having more random contractions. Well, they are regular for a bit, stall, and start up again later. So ready for baby to be here. But I'm still not desperate yet.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> On Thursday, went to regular appointment and BP spiked to 158/84, with +1 protein in urine. Went down a little on recheck, to 140/70, but sent over to observation for labs, serial BP checks and another urine sample. BP went down, urine was clear, labs good, was sent home.
> Next appointment is Monday morning. Working on evicting baby naturally as they won't induce. No luck thus far, but having more random contractions. Well, they are regular for a bit, stall, and start up again later. So ready for baby to be here. But I'm still not desperate yet.


Yikes yikes! Come on baby! Lets move! I know it's frustrating especially since you're SO DONE, but he's coming out one way or another SOON! Do you have any more shopping to do or anything? Are you and DH going on a date one last time or anything?

Hopefully the bp stays where it should. It sucks you still have to work. Any swelling or any other signs? Since it's going down, that's excellent news. Drink lots of water and try not to STRESS!!! You've got this!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Yesterday was amazing. Just plain wonderful! Aside from sleeping in and all that, I went shopping at the mall and got new jeans and a few cute tops for summer, met with my gf and we sat over margaritas and burgers and chatted for TWO HOURS! No interruptions, about serious things, our relationships, our own families growing up, our feelings about things...oh it was great. Good food too. We went to the cheesecake factory, I haven't been there in probably 4 years. After we finished up, she had to go home, so I went to Buy Buy Baby to see if I could get another NoseFrida since ours have gone MIA. They were sold out! I was like wtf? So I putzed around and picked up a few things. That store. Omg. They must have baby fever being forced thru the hot air vents b/c DAMN was I starting to think about another while I was there! I'm also ovulating so of course I've got the fertile crazies right now and am not thinking straight. I looked at carseats for a bit and helped a young couple with an infant. Taught them car seat safety and how to use the convertible seat they were eyeing, and explained why extended rear facing is safest. They were so responsive! I think I really helped them out!
> 
> ...


Oh Carrie!! That sounds like a dream! Your whole post honestly just makes me warm and fuzzy inside! It sounds like things are going so well. I hope the weekend (and week) keeps up this way! You deserve it!

A friend from high school just posted her new baby photos. Gorgeous teeny 6lb boy. *swoon* Between that and my BFF being pregnant, it's constantly on my mind. But thankfully, even with the flood of baby cutes and hormones, I'm still sane enough at least to know that I'm not ready yet for us to be looking at another. Not on purpose anyways. If it happened, we'd figure it out, but not purposely!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Yikes yikes! Come on baby! Lets move! I know it's frustrating especially since you're SO DONE, but he's coming out one way or another SOON! Do you have any more shopping to do or anything? Are you and DH going on a date one last time or anything?
> 
> Hopefully the bp stays where it should. It sucks you still have to work. Any swelling or any other signs? Since it's going down, that's excellent news. Drink lots of water and try not to STRESS!!! You've got this!


I did a huge stocking up grocery shop the night I went into labor with Ten, I joked that she was waiting because she knew we'd starve otherwise. lol


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ Glad you had such a good day and are enjoying Chris being home.

Kat ~ Whew! Glad everything went back to normal, or at least ok for you to go home.

I spent practically the whole day yesterday in bed after dh got home. I don't know what was up with D the night before. He woke up around 1 am and was up until at least 3. I don't think I slept at all from 1 until 8 am or so. I remember tossing around in the bed, D nursing on and off, and looking at the clock every couple of hours thinking, "Why can't I sleep?" Ugh! DH is leaving in a week for the rest of the month. I don't know how we'll make it while he's gone. I told him I didn't think we would. I'm not very good and not sharing things that would make him worry while he's away.









We're getting along a lot better right now. Going to counseling has really helped, I think. Mostly, it has helped dh understand that he is part of the problem and needs to change his attitude. He's been much more fun and upbeat, playing with the boys more instead of just being annoyed with them, being nicer to me in general, not spending all of his time being busy so he has some time for me. He laid down with me for a little bit yesterday while I was resting and we even play wrestled some. Only D came to my rescue but then he got jealous that dh was touching me.







We're better able to joke and laugh about things that annoy us rather than being angry. It's good.

We're taking R, his GF and his BFF out to dinner tonight for R's birthday. It's not until the 11th but dh will be gone then so we're doing it tonight. It's pretty much a family tradition now. We decide to take R out to dinner for his birthday, someone gets upset and has a fit and we're all miserable.







I've started joking about it early so, hopefully, if it does happen, we can laugh it off. We're going to The Melting Pot in Wilmington. It's fondue, in case you all didn't know or couldn't figure it out by the name. I don't think any of us have ever had fondue so it should be interesting. They prepare the food at the table. R wanted the Cheesecake Factory but he was mistaken about their being one in Wilmington so we're trying this. I've heard good things about it.

I guess that's all. Nothing much else going on.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Well, you prepare the food at the table. It's delicious, cook your own food. I like it, but it's pricey to do often.

We've done everything on my pregnancy bucket list. EVERYTHING. Just waiting on baby. Even Gabe says he's ready LOL. I'm not really stressed, just done, and timing is trickier with more kids- there are certainly days/times that are more convenient forhis arrival than others.

But he'll come when he comes.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> I did a huge stocking up grocery shop the night I went into labor with Ten, I joked that she was waiting because she knew we'd starve otherwise. lol


So did I the night I went in to labor with Ava! I had been having back pain all afternoon but I thought it was from cleaning all day. I laid down to rest but all I could think was "I need to go to the grocery store. NOW!" So I went and bought a week's worth of groceries and while I was shopping, I noticed I was having contractions. I finished shopping, loaded everything in the car, drove home, unloaded AND PUT AWAY all the groceries and then decided I really was in labor.










Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> Only D came to my rescue but then he got jealous that dh was touching me.
> 
> 
> ...


Ava did that last night! I was trying to hug DH while we were sitting on the couch and she came up and got so pissed! It was pretty funny.

We have a Melting Pot here in town but I've never been. I can't justify the cost...I'm such a cheapskate.

So I'll probably regret saying this but during the day while we are home, Ava is pretty much potty-trained. Even if she's wearing a diaper, she still goes and sits on the potty if she needs to go. She hasn't gotten the concept of asking me to help her if she's wearing a diaper or underwear yet but she's working on it. But she'll stop playing, go pee on the potty, come get me to tell me she's peed and asks for her high-five. If other people are home, she wants a high-five from everyone. I need to get one of those travel potty seat things that makes a big toilet have a smaller opening. In a month or so, we'll start working on telling me when she needs to go potty when we're out.

Baby_Cakes, did you like that potty book that you posted? I couldn't quite get a grasp of what info she's providing in the book, or how it's different than everything else floating around out there.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> We're better able to joke and laugh about things that annoy us rather than being angry. It's good.


That's very good! That means both your guards are down, and you're letting the other into your heart. I like reading this!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Oh Carrie!! That sounds like a dream! Your whole post honestly just makes me warm and fuzzy inside! It sounds like things are going so well. I hope the weekend (and week) keeps up this way! You deserve it!
> 
> ...


Thanks! We had SUCH a good weekend. So needed!!

It's hard when everyone around you is pg. But, it also kind of makes things easier, lol, b/c once they have their babies you can get your baby fix but still go back home to your big kid and all is good.









I seriously know what you mean tho, b/c I have the fertile crazies. Even if we WERE planning another, it wouldn't be NOW, for crying out loud. I love my 3 year age gap, and wouldn't do kids closer together than that on purpose. Just like you said, if it happens, we'd deal, but we know ourselves and our kids well enough that it wouldn't be planned that way. Just DON'T go shopping at Buy Buy Baby during ovulation, anyone! I'm serious!! It's like to have pheromones or something being pumped thru the ventilation system or subliminal messages urging you to get preggo! LOL!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Well, you prepare the food at the table. It's delicious, cook your own food. I like it, but it's pricey to do often.
> 
> ...


Come on baby!!! I feel like it'll be tomorrow. We'll see.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Baby_Cakes, did you like that potty book that you posted? I couldn't quite get a grasp of what info she's providing in the book, or how it's different than everything else floating around out there.


I liked it but I didn't LOVE it. I think I'm going to take pieces from it and pieces from the 3 Day Method and combine them. I like the more easygoing relaxed feel and the Phases of potty training that are in the Oh Crap book, but I don't like the whole Naked Phase part. I want to go straight to underwears. And I don't mind using a trainer for errands once the first Phase is complete (when they go from Clueless to Im Peeing or I've Peed). And of course I won't throw out all the dipes, b/c I'm not ready to night train him just yet. So. I still want to use a dipe at night. Most of those things I did with Nora and they weren't "allowed" in the 3 Day Method and I did them anyway, feeling like a rebel. LOL. Now at least seeing the more low key approach from the Oh Crap book makes me feel like those things are not that huge of a deal.

The Oh Crap book doesn't focus on Days, like it should click by Day 2 or Day 3. It focuses more on phases like I said. So it might take 5 days to get to Phase 2 or Phase 3 but that's ok. Just take it easy and don't pressure anyone, and don't put pressure on yourself. I like that.

AFM - last night for DH's bday we went out for Thai which was excellent. (My ILs came over to babysit in our house.) Omg so good, I LOVE curry so much. Then we went for drinks and sat a bar like normal people. It felt so freeing! It has literally been since COLLEGE that we sat at a bar and just drank and talked and laughed. Sigh. I really am falling in love with him again. Really am. It's fantastic. 
Anyway we got home around 630 and my MIL had made cupcakes so we all sang happy birthday and ate cupcakes, then got the kids off to bed and then stayed up watching Dr Who. Stayed up too late! I feel like I "partied hard" this weekend, lol which is a very different feeling than just being tired from not sleeping! LOL! He brings out a different side of me, for sure! Ha!

No plans today really. Ive decided Nora's emotions are just too big right now so I'm not taking her shopping at all for awhile. So if it's mild enough outside, we'll probably play out back for a bit, maybe go for a walk? Not sure. If that gets ruled out b/c of weather we'll just figure something out indoors.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I like the take it slow approach too but naked time is critical for Ava! Whenever I look at pictures you post, I'm always slightly confused until I remember that your kids stay dressed...hahaha! It will be a while before nighttime dipes are gone.

I'm so glad marriages are coming back to an equilibrium. It's so hard on everyone when that conflict is there, even in the background.

AFM, we are almost back to normal. Up at a respectable 8 am instead of the 11 am mornings Ava had been pulling. So we can actually make it to her storytime at the library this morning!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I'm afraid of naked potty training. I feel like then I'll have to train him to wear pants and it adds an extra step. The Oh Crap method has you go from naked to commando in phase 1 to phase 2. The 3 day has you go from diaper to underwear. Idk. I'm really not into nakedness around the house...but I do think I need to be openminded in case that's where we need to go to have success. You know?

I need to dig deep today. Nora is in meltdown mode. She's pushing so many limits. She wrote her name on her baby stroller with marker "b/c it's hers and no one else can use it!", which burns me up so much b/c now we can't even donate it when its outgrown. She suddenly NEEDs this robot snowman thing from christmas time that sings holly jolly christmas, and I had to break the news to her that it broke weeks ago and I threw it out. Mean mommy!! Ugh, I feel awful b/c she was BROKEN UP that it's gone. Sigh. Her emotions are SO BIG. I wish I could give her tools to help her deal with how disappointed she gets.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I wish I could give her tools to help her deal with how disappointed she gets.


isn't there info in that peaceful parenting book? empathy is the best thing you can give her as long as you don't give it with the expectation that she will suddenly stop being upset. her response may initially be to get even more upset but that is actually a good thing. it means she feels safe to express herself with you. if you can't do anything else, just sit with her while she screams and cries. don't take anything personally (so, don't get angry or hurt that she said you were mean). allowing her to express herself in your safe and loving presence is the best "tool" you can give her right now.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I'm so glad marriages are coming back to an equilibrium. It's so hard on everyone when that conflict is there, even in the background.


Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> That's very good! That means both your guards are down, and you're letting the other into your heart. I like reading this!


Yeah, it's been nice. We still get snippy with each other but it doesn't feel like such a big deal. I just hope it sticks since dh is going to be gone for 3 weeks. That's been part of our problem. It seems that as soon as we start to get things better he leaves and we have to start all over again.
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> I like it, but it's pricey to do often.


Man, you aren't kidding! Our dinner last night was over $300! I had no idea it was going to cost that much. It makes sense, though, considering it was for 7 people, but we even got a 20% military discount. I didn't even like it that much. There's no way I would consider that food worth that much. I would have much rather eaten at Ruth's Chris steakhouse for that price. Oh well, it was a new experience.

E and K brought home one of the empty lobster tail shells. hehe
Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> So did I the night I went in to labor with Ava! I had been having back pain all afternoon but I thought it was from cleaning all day. I laid down to rest but all I could think was "I need to go to the grocery store. NOW!" So I went and bought a week's worth of groceries and while I was shopping, I noticed I was having contractions. I finished shopping, loaded everything in the car, drove home, unloaded AND PUT AWAY all the groceries and then decided I really was in labor.


I remember that!







You kept saying you didn't think you were really in labor. I kind of did the same thing, although I didn't go anywhere. I sat around my house half the day thinking, "Hm, those feel like real contractions but I can't possibly really be in labor." I finally said to my mom, "What do you think about this?" She said that is my line that signals to her that I'm in labor but she still has to make me call my midwives because I don't believe her.










D is driving me crazy today! He won't leave me alone and he wants to do the same thing over and over and over. I get that he's working on his fine motor skills but how many times can we unplug and plug the Kindle charger? He unplugs it, then cries when he can't get it plugged back in and shoves it in my face over and over and over. Gah! When I get fed up and refuse to do it again, he climbs in my lap and wants to nurse but he doesn't really want to nurse because he only does it for a second and then he's off to something else. I just want a minute!

I finally got one by giving him some yogurt to eat. That's another thing. He seriously needs to start talking or signing more because he constantly seems to want something from the kitchen but can't tell me exactly what it is. I have to go through everything in the cabinet and the fridge trying to figure out what it is that he wants.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> isn't there info in that peaceful parenting book? empathy is the best thing you can give her as long as you don't give it with the expectation that she will suddenly stop being upset. her response may initially be to get even more upset but that is actually a good thing. it means she feels safe to express herself with you. if you can't do anything else, just sit with her while she screams and cries. don't take anything personally (so, don't get angry or hurt that she said you were mean). allowing her to express herself in your safe and loving presence is the best "tool" you can give her right now.


ok b/c this is what I do. I wish I could head it off before it gets out of control tho! I wish I could prevent it by keeping her happy. I think that's what I mean more. I don't want her to get SO upset over something. Like me leaving the room, or having to fold dipes before playing with her. I wish I could say, "I would LOVE to play dolls with you, right after I'm done here." and have her say, "Ok mom!" and be able to wait. It's unrealistic I know. I just wish it were plausible!

i also would love for her to understand and comply the first time I ask her to do something. Stop jumping on the bed, I'm trying to make it. Stop jumping. Please, get down now. *still jumping* and I have to remove her physically from the bed, and she collapses/melts/screams at me.

I guess one could say, why does the bed need to be made right then? Why push it? Why not wait until she is done jumping to make the bed? But -- I have a routine to my chores and if I don't do them when I plan, they usually don't get done and that frustrates ME b/c things are chaotic.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Naked works for us - but I don't care if he is naked much. yes, I have to work on the whole clothes thing, and it adds a step. But oh well. whatever works for everyone. Bribery works really well here. He finally went at MIL's house. I think she just doesn't understand bribery. This is how it went down. Gabe wanted Skittles. FIL asked if he could have skittles. It's mid afternoon and he hasn't gone since before church. I said, Gabe, do you need to go potty? Gabe: NO! Me: you can have skittles now if you go pee in potty. Otherwise, you wait until after dinner. (FIL btw looks shocked that I would say no. seriously, you don't have to give in) Gabe: hokay mommy, granddaddy go with me? and he goes with FIL and pees in potty. TaDa. Not hard.

I am not a huge fan of bribery, but he seriously has completely refused to use the toilet over there. I have to give them something to work with. I explained to MIL that maybe just needs to that. because they offer and push and yadayada (which I think in turn makes him more obstinate and less likely to go - just his personality). She's like, I guess I need to get something. I said "you have Skittles! chocolate covered oreos! jelly beans!" - a house full of crap to bribe with. pick something.

BTW: at home he doesn't need bribes anymore. once we switched to naked vs trainers, and put the potty chair in the living room, he just goes when he needs to, only needs some prompting upon wake up in the morning and from nap.

MW: $300 for the melting pot sounds about right. It's alot for food you cook yourself. but you are paying for the experience, I guess.

I'm really glad you are at a better place in your marriage.

AFM: OB this morning was uneventful. I think he might have tried to do a sweep (seriously uncomfortable cervical check, and normally they don't bother me) and I've had some cramping and lower back pain since, but nothing else exciting. I go back Friday (40+2) for a BP check if he's not arrived yet. I've not decided if I want to spend any more time on the breast pump or not. It's hard to find a good time for that. I believe it does help get contractions in a pattern and stuff, which is why I'm even trying it. But it's kind of a PITA.


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Subbing 

Katrina - Praying he comes soon! Were your others early/late?


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Yeah, I was going to ask if those things _need_ to get done right then. They really don't, regardless of how you feel about it. That means you are creating the situation by insisting on doing things your way. I'm not saying that is wrong. There really is no right or wrong. That is just how it is.

It is impossible to keep your kids happy all the time. Maybe you worry about it too much or think anything that doesn't go sweetly or according to the latest book you just read as a failure on your part. It's not. Just because everything doesn't always go as planned doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You can choose to continue to do things your way and have to deal with the metldowns more often (maybe) or you can try changing what you do to see if that helps.

K tells me every night that I'm mean. Then he asks me every morning why I am mean to him at night. I tell him I'm not trying to, nor do I want to, be mean, but when we go to bed it's late and I'm tired and I want everyone to be quiet and still so that D will go to sleep as quickly as possible so he will stop crawling and clawing and nursing on me. Every day K says he's sorry but every night he jumps and squirms all over the bedroom and is very loud so every night he gets mad at me again and says I'm mean. That's going to happen sometimes.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> MW: $300 for the melting pot sounds about right. It's alot for food you cook yourself. but you are paying for the experience, I guess.


Seriously! We were joking about what a scam it is. We are paying a crap ton to cook our own food.









The chocolate desserts were good and the cheese dips were ok but the entrees weren't so great, at least to me. We also paid an extra $24 for some balloons, a photo and some chocolates for R to take home. Kind of silly but it's a special occasion so wth? It sure is a good thing we don't have a mortgage payment this month!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I don't want her to get SO upset over something. Like me leaving the room, or having to fold dipes before playing with her. I wish I could say, "I would LOVE to play dolls with you, right after I'm done here." and have her say, "Ok mom!" and be able to wait. It's unrealistic I know. I just wish it were plausible!


I'm saying this as gently as possible...you've gotta let go of that wish. That may happen when N is like 12 or 13 but honestly, that's just not her. That's not the kid you got in the genetic lottery. Wishing she wasn't so emphatic about getting HER needs met is like wishing she had curly hair instead of straight. N's personality is strong. She's going to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. That's a huge pain in the butt as her caregiver because you have things that you need to get done too. But being strongwilled isn't a character flaw. It's actually a pretty positive thing overall. So don't wish it away. There's always going to be stuff that needs to be done. I'm really working on practicing what I preach. If one of the kids asks me to do something with them or invites me to play, I try my hardest to say yes. Unless I need to like keep food from catching fire and burning the house down or something like that. I'm working on keeping my cleaning and straightening to when people are asleep. Yes, my house is a mess. Yes, I'd feel a lot better if my house weren't a mess. But I'm the grownup and capable of handling my emotions better than the kids are. So I try to deal. Or make a game out of picking stuff up.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> MW: $300 for the melting pot sounds about right. It's alot for food you cook yourself. but you are paying for the experience, I guess.
> 
> AFM: OB this morning was uneventful. I think he might have tried to do a sweep (seriously uncomfortable cervical check, and normally they don't bother me) and I've had some cramping and lower back pain since, but nothing else exciting. I go back Friday (40+2) for a BP check if he's not arrived yet. I've not decided if I want to spend any more time on the breast pump or not. It's hard to find a good time for that. I believe it does help get contractions in a pattern and stuff, which is why I'm even trying it. But it's kind of a PITA.


I'd probably pass out if someone brought a $300 bill to me! No wonder I've avoided that place!

If you do breastpump time, I'd probably suggest early in the morning after you've had some rest. Don't want to get ctx going late at night and then be that much more tired through labor.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Yeah, I spent some time Friday morning and some Sunday morning on the pump. Norah - I was silly and did it late at night. Water broke at 12:30 am.

Carrie: we don't make beds. They have sheets, of course, but not really "made" - I of course have things that "need" to be done. I WAH. But I work most successfully if the kids are happy first. Maybe a timer? Say, you have 5 minutes to jump/play on bed, but then we need to do X?


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Oh: lyterae: both my others were rather late. A c section at 41+6 and a VBAC at the same gestation.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I'm saying this as gently as possible...you've gotta let go of that wish. That may happen when N is like 12 or 13 but honestly, that's just not her. That's not the kid you got in the genetic lottery. Wishing she wasn't so emphatic about getting HER needs met is like wishing she had curly hair instead of straight. N's personality is strong. She's going to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. That's a huge pain in the butt as her caregiver because you have things that you need to get done too. But being strongwilled isn't a character flaw. It's actually a pretty positive thing overall. So don't wish it away. There's always going to be stuff that needs to be done. I'm really working on practicing what I preach. If one of the kids asks me to do something with them or invites me to play, I try my hardest to say yes. Unless I need to like keep food from catching fire and burning the house down or something like that. I'm working on keeping my cleaning and straightening to when people are asleep. Yes, my house is a mess. Yes, I'd feel a lot better if my house weren't a mess. But I'm the grownup and capable of handling my emotions better than the kids are. So I try to deal. Or make a game out of picking stuff up.


So well said! ITA with all of it.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

So, I've been stewing over this privately for a few days, but I need to wah wah wah vent. Rob got a new job, right? And he called his parents and told them, and they basically did the whole "oh, well, that's nice." -- change subject. They've never been very supportive of his paramedic career, treating like some whim, or like it was something he should not be proud of at all. So, no, he doesn't talk to them about it alot, since he always just ends up hanging up feeling down on himself and like what he chose isn't good enough. Why would he -want- to talk to them about it? Anywhoooo, his mom apparently kept calling his sister Ashleigh and digging for details about the job and the training etc etc. (but like even stupid stuff like... whether he was going to get paid for the 6 weeks of training, did he know? has he checked??? and why didn't he stay at rona until he knows for sure the job is going to keep him, and just, ridiculous questions, because HELLO, he's an ADULT who runs his own life. He doesn't need her making sure that he thought things through and can still pay the bills.). Anyways, so finally Ash asked why his mom didn't just call HIM and ask HIM about the job that he's so proud of getting, and could use some support about. Her response? "I don't want to call the house when Jenine is home."

W.

T.

F.

!!!

Rob of course was livid when Ash told hiim that, as was I, when he told me. But the most bewildering part is, is that I had no idea my MIL and I had any issues. Like really, we've got (or I thought we had...) a decent relationship for being MIL/DIL. She's expressed previously, like when he was still in high school, that she thought there were better people for him, but in the past 6-7 years I thought we had a good, though not close or very warm, relationship. Now I find out that she's avoiding calling the effing house when I'm home??? WTF!

Ugh. In other bad mama news-- I ran outside to start the car today to warm it up, and when I went to go back into the house, the door was locked. Tenley was still obviously in the house *cue freakout!!* And then I realized what a freaking ghost town our neighborhood is during the day! I went to 6 houses before someone finally answered at the 7th. There wasn't a single car parked on the street. I thought I was going to have to run to the school to get access to a phone to call someone. We're supposed to have a spare key in the BBQ, so I jumped through the snow (it's literally 4+ feet high in the backyard) and dug out the edge of the BBQ, only to find there was no key in there. And we used to be able to get in the basement windows, but we replaced them last year, so I'd have to break them now to get in. *head explode* So I finally got that neighbor to open the door, borrowed his phone and called my in laws, thankfully, my FIL was home, and they have a spare key, but he didn't have a vehicle at home, and he can't walk this far (it's like 3 blocks, which is really close luckily, but too far for him to walk for his health). So I ran back to my car, drove the 3 blocks, grabbed the keys, and then sprinted up the sidewalk to the door, and thank God it was the right key (he wasn't 100% sure it was...) Scariest moments of my life!! I knew she was safe inside, all the bedroom and bathroom doors were closed, the dog was in his crate already, everything dangerous was out of reach, but you can't guarantee accidents won't happen, her falling, or climbing on the couch and slipping, etc. I kept running to the living room window and making faces at her and talking to her, and then I'd run to the next house, rinse and repeat. LOL. She thought it was so funny-- hey!!!! Mama is outside.. look at her, she's so funny. lol. Me? Not so fun!

Blah. SO it was a heck of a day. Once I finally got in the house, we cuddled for several minutes, and then did end up getting in the car and going to Ikea as planned. She had a blast. We ate lunch and she played in the little area in the cafeteria, and then we went and looked in the kids section, she tried out all the toys and kids chairs, and then walked around a bit, and then I put her on my back and she fell asleep in the Boba for about 45 minutes, and woke up just as I was finishing up my shopping. I had a $50 gc to spend, so I picked out a few things. Then we went to Carters and bought a dress for Easter and a plain white cardigan. It felt SO weird to go buy things new and at full price, because I pretty much never do, but, well, she's 15 months and we've never attended an event with her in a dress that -we- bought her, and I really wanted something finally that was hers and just hers. And the cardigan has been sorely needed for months. I kept wanting one and looking at used stores, and sale racks. The only cardigan she's had was a brown one, which matches with exactly nothing she owns. lol. And then she picked out new pjs with puppies on them. She was SO proud of them 

ok time for bed. Thanks for letting me vent guys.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

OMG. JJ, I would have freaked the EFF out. Gah! Getting locked out of the house, even with Ava, is one of my recurring "bad thoughts". And that crap with your MIL is just stupid. Sorry she's being a pain.

Ugh, I thought we were getting back to a good sleep rhythm and then DH calls me this evening while I was at work and said "Oh Ava just woke up from a nap"...it's freaking 8:30 PM at night. WTF? So guess it will be another late morning for us tomorrow. Baby_Cakes, I know you'll hate me for saying this but I really hate when she sleeps until 11 AM. Our whole morning is gone and we can't go do anything fun. If she wakes up at 8 AM, then we can go have an adventure before lunch, she gets a decent nap and then I take her wherever she needs to go so I can go to work. I'm trying to rearrange some of my work schedule so I will be home a few afternoons and not have to rely on a sitter as much. Hopefully that will cut down on these "naps" that are starting at 5:30 PM in the car on the way home.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Seriously. I'm sure I looked like the crazed person out of a movie, running from house to house frantically with a murderer on their trail. I was hyperventilating and practically crying by the time that guy opened the door. I was two steps away from calling 911. Trying to decide if I was better off to try ot break in the door, or smash the window in her room.

Oh *hugs* Lauri. That sucks  It's like it gets dangled in front of you, and then snatched away. Is this a second nap, or just a very late first nap? We're transitioning Ten from two to one naps, but whenever DH is home, he still gives her a second nap, even if it's super late, just because it's easier to have some free time once she's sleeping for a bit. It bugs me. But I think he just doesn't know what else to do. If it's your DH putting her down for a second late nap, maybe he just needs more ideas for ways to occupy her until bedtime?


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:
Originally Posted by *onetwoten* 


> Oh *hugs* Lauri. That sucks  It's like it gets dangled in front of you, and then snatched away. Is this a second nap, or just a very late first nap? We're transitioning Ten from two to one naps, but whenever DH is home, he still gives her a second nap, even if it's super late, just because it's easier to have some free time once she's sleeping for a bit. It bugs me. But I think he just doesn't know what else to do. If it's your DH putting her down for a second late nap, maybe he just needs more ideas for ways to occupy her until bedtime?


She's hypnotized by the car which is usually a good thing, one of the only ways I can get her to fall asleep quickly when she's maxed out but when DH is picking her up past 5 PM and then driving 20-30 mins home, she falls asleep. I would just try to wake her back up once home but he lets her sleep. I know it's easier than dealing with a whiny, clingy Ava but geez. She's probably still going to be awake when I get home at 12:30 AM. That happened the other night. I walked in the door and DH was fast asleep in the bed. Ava was sitting next to his head watching Thomas the Train. I didn't get her to sleep until 2 AM.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

ugh. I'd be calling every day at the time you know they get home and instructin him to wake her up. Easier said than done I know though


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> It is impossible to keep your kids happy all the time. Maybe you worry about it too much or think anything that doesn't go sweetly or according to the latest book you just read as a failure on your part. It's not. Just because everything doesn't always go as planned doesn't mean you did anything wrong.


HUGE YES! Oh you hit the nail on the head. I feel like I'm not doing something right and it's my fault. Thanks for this.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I'm saying this as gently as possible...you've gotta let go of that wish. That may happen when N is like 12 or 13 but honestly, that's just not her. That's not the kid you got in the genetic lottery. Wishing she wasn't so emphatic about getting HER needs met is like wishing she had curly hair instead of straight. N's personality is strong. She's going to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. That's a huge pain in the butt as her caregiver because you have things that you need to get done too. But being strongwilled isn't a character flaw. It's actually a pretty positive thing overall. So don't wish it away. There's always going to be stuff that needs to be done. I'm really working on practicing what I preach. If one of the kids asks me to do something with them or invites me to play, I try my hardest to say yes. Unless I need to like keep food from catching fire and burning the house down or something like that. I'm working on keeping my cleaning and straightening to when people are asleep. Yes, my house is a mess. Yes, I'd feel a lot better if my house weren't a mess. But I'm the grownup and capable of handling my emotions better than the kids are. So I try to deal. Or make a game out of picking stuff up.


I love you for this. Thanks. I needed to hear it!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> Maybe a timer? Say, you have 5 minutes to jump/play on bed, but then we need to do X?


Love it. Going to try it!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> Baby_Cakes, I know you'll hate me for saying this but I really hate when she sleeps until 11 AM. Our whole morning is gone and we can't go do anything fun. If she wakes up at 8 AM, then we can go have an adventure before lunch, she gets a decent nap and then I take her wherever she needs to go so I can go to work. I'm trying to rearrange some of my work schedule so I will be home a few afternoons and not have to rely on a sitter as much. Hopefully that will cut down on these "naps" that are starting at 5:30 PM in the car on the way home.


No no no! I agree with you 110%! Even when Nora sleeps until 9 I'm frazzled and feel like we won't accomplish anything that day. So -- I feel you. You've got to get him to wake her up when he brings her inside! Ugh. Sorry mama.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Same!

OmG JJ about locking yourself out! A huge fear of mine, as well.

You don't have a house key on your car keys? I think that's an important and easy fix to do PRONTO so it doesn't happen again! A house key is so easy to copy. Do it!!

AFUs - Last night was rough. Idk if you guys saw but I took Finn to get his stitches out. They weren't overly rough or anything, but .. he got so worked up and upset (it was literally 30 seconds of holding him still) he threw up all over everyone and everything. I mean...he was soaked, he got the nurses, he got me. His shoes, socks. I felt AWFUL for him. They didn't even have them all out but I scooped him up and just hugged my poor puke covered boy, he was in hysterics. I just felt so awful for him! Ugh. No words. We cleaned everything up and then tried again. One snip later and we were done and I held him tight, and b/c I'm awesome, I had thrown a lollipop in my bag ahead of time. I first asked him if he wanted milk and he shook his head no. So I said, "Lollipop?" and held it up and he smiled and clapped! So while they cleaned his jeans for me, he sat on my lap like a rockstar sucking a lolli. Such a big boy. I couldn't believe he said no to nursing! What a shock for me! I offered 2 more times before we left and he shook his head no each time. First time that's EVER happened. Ever.

They couldn't really get his jeans dry (I was SO grateful and thankful and just overwhelmed w/how helpful and nonchalant they were about being puked on) so I put his jacket on and he sauntered out with his light up Lightning McQueen sneakers, no pants, and hoodie, lollipop in his mouth, waving to all the nurses at the nurses station. Oh mamas he was such a ham! It was a sight! He was rocking that look, for real.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Poor Finn! I'm sure those people are used to being puked on, though. At least it's all over now.

Annie ~ We got onto a strange schedule like that recently. D didn't nap at all on Sunday even on the hour drive to Wilmington for dinner or back at 9 pm and it still took a while to get him to settle down to sleep for the night. Yesterday, he didn't fall asleep for a nap until around 5:30. I woke him up at 7 in the hopes that he wouldn't be up past midnight. I think he did manage to fall asleep by 11:30 so not too bad. I forced myself to get up earlier than usual this morning and to get him up in the hopes he'll take an earlier nap and get back to his regular schedule.

JJ ~ That is strange about your MIL. Do you feel comfortable enough to ask her about it? On the other hand, your SIL probably shouldn't have told Rob so you saying something to your MIL might cause a bunch a problems between them. That's unfortunate that they don't seem to take his paramedic career seriously. That's a very noble and important job. I'm impressed by it.









I was just reading that NoVA is supposed to get 4-6 inches of snow tomorrow. I'm thinking maybe I'll take the boys to visit my mother since dh will be gone. We haven't had a good snow here this year and K has been asking to go to his Gma's.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

You should go!

What kind of car do you all drive? I want a small SUV type thing but I can't decide what I want. Chris basically told me today to sign up for my doula/bf courses and pick out a new car. I feel a bit spoiled! I like the Nissan Rogue but...he's not a huge fan of it. Ford Edge? Idk. Ideas?


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> You should go!
> 
> What kind of car do you all drive? I want a small SUV type thing but I can't decide what I want. Chris basically told me today to sign up for my doula/bf courses and pick out a new car. I feel a bit spoiled! I like the Nissan Rogue but...he's not a huge fan of it. Ford Edge? Idk. Ideas?


Wow! That's so awesome! I love minivans. I like our Volvo wagon but getting kids in and out of carseats in anything other than a minivan stinks. I drove an SUV for the weekend when I was nannying a few weeks ago and getting Ava in and out of that thing just about killed me. I'd look at an Odyssey or Sienna if I had the option. My favorite is the 06-08 Siennas with the optional 8th seat. Love those!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh no. I'm not a minivan person. Sorry! I def want either an SUV/crossover or a wagon. Not feeling the minivan love at all! Ha!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh no. I'm not a minivan person. Sorry! I def want either an SUV/crossover or a wagon. Not feeling the minivan love at all! Ha!


Put the carseats in one and drive it for an afternoon. Trust me. Sliding power doors, ability to carry the kids' friends when they get a bit older. Life changing!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> OmG JJ about locking yourself out! A huge fear of mine, as well.
> 
> You don't have a house key on your car keys? I think that's an important and easy fix to do PRONTO so it doesn't happen again! A house key is so easy to copy. Do it!!


Normally yes! Our car key and my house keys are on the same ring and never come off. BUT-- I'm driving my fathers car right now, which doesn't have our house keys! lol. And like i said there's normally a spare key outside, but I think last time we used it, we didn't take it back outside!

And what an ordeal with Finn! Such a big boy though! I can just picture him marching out of there pants-less!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ That is strange about your MIL. Do you feel comfortable enough to ask her about it? On the other hand, your SIL probably shouldn't have told Rob so you saying something to your MIL might cause a bunch a problems between them. That's unfortunate that they don't seem to take his paramedic career seriously. That's a very noble and important job. I'm impressed by it.


I think that hits the nail on the head-- I can't really approach her about it, without admitting the SIL told us when she obviously wasn't supposed to. Regardless, I definitely don't feel confident enough to confront her baout it. She's such a proper "appearances are everything" type woman, and she doesn't -do- conflict- at all. It would be THE MOST awkward thing in the world.

His mother has been disappointed ever since he dropped out of university and didn't go to business school (like he's you know, NEVER wanted to do... it's not like it was a shock!)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> What kind of car do you all drive? I want a small SUV type thing but I can't decide what I want. Chris basically told me today to sign up for my doula/bf courses and pick out a new car. I feel a bit spoiled! I like the Nissan Rogue but...he's not a huge fan of it. Ford Edge? Idk. Ideas?


We're totally doing this right now. We're trying to decide on a second car, but we can't even decide whether we want newish (2011 or 2012, with a warranty, bought from dealership), or used, something around $5000 with no warranty (but 1/3 of the original price). Anyways... based on our price range, and insane need to have something with great gas mileage-- my top picks are boring-- a Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla, Ford Focus. Maybe A Chevy Cruze.

I had a focus wagon previously (old, it was in 2004/05 and it was a 2000 Focus, and I -loved- it. The way it felt, the way it drove. It just... felt good, if that makes sense. So there's a good chance we'll buy one again, but not quite sure yet.

If price wasn't as much a factor, I'd go with a Ford Escape Hybrid I think. Although I will admit I haven't done all the research- that's more of a gut and looks decision.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Put the carseats in one and drive it for an afternoon. Trust me. Sliding power doors, ability to carry the kids' friends when they get a bit older. Life changing!


Hahaha. I'm totally with you. I would -love- a minivan, but I can't justify the gas mileage right now, when we could easily fit in a car. Also, because most vans, the driver's seat isn't height adjustable, Rob tends to have trouble with them- he ends up almost looking into the headliner, so it's not much fun for him to drive!! But I love the idea of the cargo space, and the room inside for getting ready etc (ie to take Tebley out of her seat and get her in the carrier or put a thick jacket on, etc, without having to do it standing outside the car. And the cargo space! And just extra room for transporting people as Lauri said. And vans have a lot of features now! But I do get that it takes a lot to get over the OMG it's a soccer mom van aspect. lol


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Put the carseats in one and drive it for an afternoon. Trust me. Sliding power doors, ability to carry the kids' friends when they get a bit older. Life changing!












Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh no. I'm not a minivan person. Sorry! I def want either an SUV/crossover or a wagon. Not feeling the minivan love at all! Ha!


I was not a minivan person, either. I had a Subaru Tribeca, a midsized SUV with optional seating for 7. I thought it would be perfect for 5 of us but it was awful! Once I got the carseats in there wasn't room for anyone or anything else in the back. I broke down and got a Toyota Sienna when I got pg between D and K. It is so much easier, roomier and just works better for a family. I love the power sliding doors (that is before someone lost my remote control). It is so nice to have the doors open so you can get everyone and everything in without fumbling with door handles. The fold down split third row is great when I need lots of room in the back. Gas mileage is comparable to my Tribeca but that was better than other SUVs at the time I bought it.

I don't even know what new vehicles are out. I like the Volvo wagon but it doesn't work well with child safety seats.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

MW: totally go see some snow! I'd love to!

AFM: 40 weeks today, happy due date - I'm not really surprised to see this day and still be pregnant. I wish I had some more signs of imminent labor, but I'm stuck in prodromal purgatory. As usual. *sigh* I go back to the OB friday for a BP check - not even seeing a doctor that day, I don't think, and then, if I'm still pregnant next week, I imagine it'll be a BPP scheduled and possibly induction - they'll only induce a VBAC with AROM. I so hope we don't get to that. I'm ready. My house is a wreck, but I. do. not. care.

I never wanted a minivan. But after looking at our options, it just made the most sense. We now have a 2006 Honda Odessy, and I LOVE it. Except for filling up at the gas pump and parking downtown.

I am pretty brand loyal, I'd go with Honda or Toyota - I love every car I've had made by either. They cost more up front perhaps, but great gas milage, low maintance, and they hold value really, really, well. My mom has Toyota Venza, and it's very comfortable and roomy, but the milage isn't fantastic. (they seriously are that older couple in the venza commercials. it cracks me up). I like the Honda CR-V. The only vehicle I'd totally steer you away from is the Element. Carseats in that are AWFUL.

JJ - locking yourself out/Tenly in must have been horrifying -so glad everything worked out!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Wow I can't believe how gung ho y'all are about minivans! LOL! They aren't even on my radar. Nope, just not going to happen.








Plus it's going to be a lease, so it's not like we'll have it forever for when the kids are older and have more friends. So I can always reevaluate if things are really not working out. Hopefully we'll have it for 3 years, just about when Finn would be hitting booster age/size.

I agree with 3 littles it makes sense, Kat. I really do!

Does anyone know why someone would drive a minivan still when their kids are all grown and out of the house practically? chris's aunt just bought a new one and her kids are 26, 23, and 18. LOL. We kind of had a chuckle, Chris and I, when she announced she got a new van. haha.

Chris went into NYC today, he'll be home late.

What else...

Come on baby Theo!! Happy Due Date to you, Kat! I'm so sorry about the prodromal. Sigh. Just shit or get off the pot, body. I hear you. Hugs!!! Have some extra ice cream while you're stuck waiting.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

They're nice to have for hauling stuff etc too. ANd they actually drive fairly well, smooth ride. My in laws bought one, but theirs is primarily because they transport the grandkids around. I can't see myself getting one with grown kids that wouldn't be riding in it very often!

Feeling so tired today. Our babysitter called us yesterday at 730am and told us she had a massive puking-every-10-minutes-flu, but it was ok, we could still bring Tenley, she just wanted us to know. Thankfully, we had a massive snow dump, so I texted my sister, and she was actually planning on staying home from work anyways, so she came over and watched Ten. Which was a huge lifesaver, but also stressful because the house was =not= in a shape I would have wanted to invite people over, and she's never spent that much time with Tenley before, so I was worried about them all day long!

Anyways, Today is my Friday, and then I'm off Thurs-Sun at least, so I can clean and then relax.

*hugs* Kat. We're all thinking of you!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Kat ~ 40 weeks! Yay!







Start sleeping as much as you can.









My counselor asked me yesterday what I would do if I had no responsibilities (i.e. kids and a dh) and could do anything I wanted. I said I'd do nothing.









My uncle loves his minivans even though his two kids are grown and out of the house. He even rents minivans when he goes on vacation.







I wouldn't want a minivan if I didn't have kids, although I'd probably still keep one if I was driving grandkids around regularly. I think like JJ said they are nice for hauling stuff but get better gas mileage than SUVs (which really are a waste of space, gas and money). I think if you are going to stick with only two kids and don't need a lot of room for hauling anything, a crossover like a CR-V would probably work. I would go with the smallest thing I could get away with. 3+ kids and a minivan is really the only practical vehicle to have, especially with child safety seats.

I dream of the day when I can drive something other than a minivan. I have no idea what, though. I'll probably have a minivan until I'm too old to drive at this point. Once the kids are out of child safety seats, I'll still need seating for at least 7 carting them and their friends around. A minivan may not even be enough. That Tribeca I had was a major pita when R wanted me to take him and his friends somewhere. The teenagers had to climb in through the back hatch and sit with their knees in their ears. Then when they are grown and going off to college or moving out, I'll need space for helping them move their stuff and drive them and their friends to and from school or whatever. Then it will be time for grandkids and child safety seats again. When I'm 50 I'll have my minivan and my Harley. hehe

JJ ~ Family shouldn't care about a messy house. They are company. They are family. You can always tell her she's welcome to pick up/clean if it makes her uncomfortable.









I'm running out of motivation to go to my mom's. The idea of doing all the packing and driving does not seem like fun. I'm tired. Maybe if I write out a list of what we need, it won't seem so bad.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

haha she did actually start cleaning up. The dishwasher was pull but hadn't been run yet, so the kitchen counter was filled with dirty dishes too. She washed and dried them all.

I moreso was worried about general 'our' stuff. She had a bad habit of being a snoop when she was little, so I like to have anything she shouldn't see put away, and we didn't get that chance. And then yeah, stuff like dirty underwear, and diapers lying around, and the fact that Tenley's high chair tray was ridiculous gross and coated with food. I was like ummm... she can just eat at her little table... lol.

Anyways, it worked out nicely though, and Ten had a great time apparently. She loves "new" people.

MW-- I find lists like that make me more productive. It takes some of the pressure stress out of it.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> When I'm 50 I'll have my minivan and my Harley. hehe










hahaha I lol'ed for real!

You guys are really making me think about this minivan deal. Damn you all! hahaha!

I need a shower. I haven't taken one since Sunday. Sigh.

Go to VA, MW!


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I sleep as much as the other 2 let me, LOL. Norah woke up once, but she falls back asleep easily, as does Gabe (who also woke once). Once Theo is born, DH is back on night time parenting duty. He'd do it now, but I wake and respond faster (and have to get up to pee anyway).

I'll be ok . . I may try the pump again Friday morning, if nothing has happened by then.

If I didn't have 3 kids, I'd not drive a minivan. I LOVE my small cars. LOVE. I really miss my Scion XB, which can hold a crap ton of stuff if you are needing to go to IKEA, and also has plenty of people space, it just doesn't have room for both. And fabulous milage. But, it looks like minvans are my reality at the moment. The thing I really like about it, is that not only do I have room for 3 car seats, I have OPTIONS about how they go in. Right now, I have Norah in the 3rd row (Gabe didn't like it back there by himself) and Gabe and Theo in the front bucket seats. But if Theo won't be soothed by a paci - which Gabe could totally put in his mouth - and needs to be boobed, then I can move Gabe to the way back with Norah, and have an empty seat next to Theo for an adult to sit an soothe him. depends on what kind of car baby he is.

JJ: your poor normal sitter - I am glad you have other options!

minivan once kids are grown - if all the kids still visit alot, it may be handy just to have the extra seating.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> The thing I really like about it, is that not only do I have room for 3 car seats, I have OPTIONS about how they go in.


That's a good point. My Sienna only seats 7 (I think I could get the optional 8th seat but haven't bothered to look into it). I can put all 3 kids in the 3rd row or split them up. E is even big enough now that I can put him in the front passenger if I have to.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well, dh has his obnoxious ******* truck and a Harley so it's my turn for something purely fun. I finally figured out why we are so broke. DH convinced me we could afford that truck because he was supposed to get promoted by last November. That didn't happen and we really can't afford the payment on it. Now he says he'll get promoted in June or July. That was before sequestration, though. Who knows when it will happen now.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

MW, since you aren't already up here, I'd be hesitant to head up here now. It's supposed to be in the upper50s by the end of the week so I don't know howlong iit's going to last.

Baby_Cakes, if you are doing a lease, I don't know that I would do a minivan. Maybe. I just know how much easier life is when I have the kids in a minivan. I really loved my Golf when I had it years ago. The seats folded flat and I could fit a ton of stuff in there. I really like the Nissan Versa hatchback for the same reason.

akind1, sending baby vibes!

JJ, I know how you feel. My house is like that most of the time!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Oh yeah, I mean this is normal for us. I just normally pickup a bit when I know someone is coming over. Like not dusting or anything, but like wiping the dried milk and spaghetti off the high chair. Lol

I fit a full size deep freezer into the back of my ford focus wagon once







lol I was mighty proud!

But yes on the versatility. If/when we get a can, one of the things I've seen done and am looking forward to, is taking one of the middle row captains chairs out for easy easy access and somewhere extra to drop bags, but then still having seating for three in te back and one more (the youngest) in the middle row seat.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh chris used to drive a golf! It was nice.

Idk. I want something bigger. FIL has a CRV and they all complain about it (not comfy).

Haha porsche cayenne. $811/month. HAHAHAHA.

Any baby yet kat!?


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

EFFING &$&*[email protected] !!!!

Ok, so this is ridiculous and I'm ready to cut ties with my in laws right now. So over the past two days, DH has "talked to" them a handful of times, which consists of bullshit like the following "oh yeah at work today--" (gets cut off) "Oh work? or do you mean your 'training'?" "uhh well yes we're training right now, but it's work... and I'm getting paid for it, so yes, I'm calling it work." "Oh ok, well it's not really work yet though, right..." ummm ok.

Also-- his younger sister (22, who still lives at home), calling one night to say "Mom wanted me to tell you we bought the bolts for the snowblower. ok. i don't know." and then hung up on him. Like... his mother wouldn't even call the house herself.

Rob tried to call over there today to ask if they would watch Ten for a few hours tomorrow sometime so we could go car shopping and to ask if he could borrow their roof rake-- got ranted at about his career again, and then basically hung up on... again.

Anyways, so the day I locked myself out of the house, I borrowed OUR spare key that we gave to them, right? That was on Monday, and I haven't had a chance to return it. Yes, I realize I should have, but we've been busy, and oh yeah, it's our spare key...

So DH got a text just a few minutes ago from his sister. "Can we have our key back. rake is out front against the fence."

I'm sorry, what? I -know- that you can't tell tone from a written text, but trust me, there was snark intended. WTF? It's OUR key technically. To OUR house. It's not like you've been asking for this thing back for days and weeks on end. Today if the first time they mentioned it. And it's only been three days since we got it. And the whole "rake is out front". Rob said that we'd stop in tomorrow sometime and pick it up, since we were both off. This whole thing reeks of "No, don't stop in, we don't want to see you. We'll leave it out front so you don't have to come in or talk to us at all." Like I'm sorry, you can't even be bothered to talk to us for 5 minutes? Or to see Tenley for a few minutes?

Seriously, they live THREE blocks away, and the only time they see Tenley is at family birthday parties or events. We try to offer for them to come over, or us to bring her over for visits, and they always make up excused why they can't. I kept shrugging it off as just their weird personalities, but now I'm like ok, is seeing us/me really that horrible that you're not seeing your granddaughter because of it? Is that really the pathetic reason?

Ugh. I'm just so angry at their twistedness. They've never been supportive of practically anything any of their children have done. They are toxic in so many ways I can't even get into, but we always make excused for them about how they're having trouble too, and it's hard to rework a lifetime of thought patterns etc etc. But it just seems like there's got to be a point where you freaking man up and stop being so toxic to those you love!

la la la la. In other news-- my doula from tenley's birth messaged me today, just needed a quick vent-- her due date was Wednesday, and has had pretty much no signs of labor thusfar. Then she started prodromal labor last night, throughout today and tonight, as much as 4 minutes apart and hard, but then will totally back off to nothing, and she's only made it to 3cm and thinned. Baby is posterior and not engaged. I feel for her so much. This is her fifth labor, and she was like I don't understand!! They should FALL OUT by now! lol. Anyways, the hardest part, is that her oldest son, who was 17 and had fairly profound mental and physical developmental problems and has been in care since he was a baby, passed away just under a month ago. So she's had to deal with the pain of that over the past month at the same time as trying to reconcile her thoughts of joy with this new baby. I can't even imagine it. And I know she was really hoping for just a very straight forward, easy labor and birth so she could avoid anything hospital/medical related and just keeping making it through one day to the next and piecing her life together again. A long drawn out and emotionally draining birth is just so not fair for her right now  I can't even imagine what she's really going through, but my heart just aches for her.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

JJ: your in laws definitely sound like cutting -ties-with worthy. How is your DH feeling about the situation? All that would drive me bonkers.

Also: thank you for the reminder aboout your friend - it helps me to stay humble when I'm feeling a bit down to see people who need more zen than I do. She and I have the same due date  And yes, to the prodromal hell. It comes and goes. Next time I get a good spate of time, I'm doing the breast pump again. I need him OUT. I hope she gets the birth she needs. and such hugs on the loss of her oldest. A birth and death this close together is both difficult and (can be) healing.

So obviously, nothing exciting to report here. I'm still pregnant, and should not be surprised that I am, but I had so HOPED this one would be different. *sigh*


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

JJ ~ Sounds like it's pretty obvious why your dh had the problems he had when he was younger. I don't know that I'd cut all ties with them. Since they are your ILs I think it's up to your dh to make that decision. However, I would distance myself from them. Don't ask them for anything anymore. Be available if/when they ever want to start acting like decent people but don't put yourself out there for them. KWIM?

Not much going on here. Day 2 with dh gone and I'm busy, busy, busy. I feel like cleaning the entire house. When he's home all I want to do is sit on the couch and knit. I guess I'd better take advantage of it.

By the way, does anyone know how clean pink mold off a refrigerator without using bleach?


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

MW: sounds like plain vinegar should do the trick: http://www.ehow.com/how_6389251_clean-pink-mold.html


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> MW: sounds like plain vinegar should do the trick: http://www.ehow.com/how_6389251_clean-pink-mold.html


Ha! That's what I was thinking of using. I can clean anything with vinegar and baking soda.

I finally made toothpaste with coconut oil, baking soda and peppermint oil today.

I almost had D down for a nap until E whacked K and he screamed.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

One thing I'm really grateful for is that Gabe is respectful of Norah's sleep. Loves to say "shhhhh baby sleeping" he likes to watch her sleep, which is a mixed blessing. Norah, OTOH, likes to climb all over Gabe while he sleeps.

I really wanted a nap today, but Norah woke before I could get one.

I need to do more cleaning with DIY products.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> JJ ~ Sounds like it's pretty obvious why your dh had the problems he had when he was younger. I don't know that I'd cut all ties with them. Since they are your ILs I think it's up to your dh to make that decision. However, I would distance myself from them. Don't ask them for anything anymore. Be available if/when they ever want to start acting like decent people but don't put yourself out there for them. KWIM?
> 
> ...


Oh totally. Almost all of his issues including the prescription drug addiction, stem from his childhood/teenage years living in that house. Toxic just really is the best way to describe it. And the funny thing is that from the outside, they are a totally normal picket fence family.

I guess I don't really mean cut ties-- I mean I have no intention of -never- seeing them or avoiding family events because they'll be there. More like you said where I'm just done attempting to get anything from them or attempting to have a relationship. I'm just so done with being judged (Did I tell you guys she told my SIL that she feels bad for Tenley and that next time she comes over to babysit she'll have to bring new toys over so they'll have something to actually play with because there's not enough here...), and trying to tiptoe around them only to be treated so poorly, and behind my back at that. And a lot of it is the SIL that live at home there too. She's 22, but still very much acts like a child. Or like a hormonal pregnant child. She doesn't drive, but also pretty much refuses to take the bus. She works part time, and is in university part time- like 2 classes I think this term, last class she only took one- (5 is FT). But she has like the most insane needs-- she'll get off work at 4pm, and then demand to be taken to go get sushi-- like a 35 minutes drive the other direction from home-- and her mother will take her. She doesn't do -any- chores at all, and has a laundry list of food restrictions (diet imposed, not allergy) that they MUST cook for her. She'll wake up randomly on a Saturday morning and demand to be driven to the mall RIGHT NOW. Anyways... so basically half their lives revolve around her needs. And she's just... whiny, especially when things don't go exactly her way. Like you'd expect from an 8 year old, not an adult. So dealing with MIL and FIL means dealing with her.

I think sometimes I like being more productive when DH isn't home for two reasons-- A-- then he doesn't know how long it takes, and thinks I slaved all day. ie if Tenley is playing no her own, I can clean the whole fairly fairly well within 1.5 hours or so, but in the same amount of time, he could barely get the living room clean. So when he sees the house clean, he assumes I must have worked all day long. So I get more praise and acknowledgement than if he's home.

And second, when he's not home, he's not interfering, and I can do things my way.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> JJ: your in laws definitely sound like cutting -ties-with worthy. How is your DH feeling about the situation? All that would drive me bonkers.
> 
> ...


He's angry too, but of course it's his own parents so it feels odd. But he did say that yeah, we're done making an effort. I'm glad he's mostly on the same page.

Yeah, I just really can't imagine what she's going through. And I didn't even have to deal with prodomal labor at all. I was telling DH about how you've been goingt hrough bits of it off and on for weeks, and how I think my head would explode if I had to go through that. You're a strong mama, I admire you. DH was like but... I don't understand, aren't you in labor then? How... how... he couldn't wrap his head around the idea of having to basically be in labor for days and weeks on end!

Someone said to her, and I thought it was a really nice thought, that perhaps Ezra passed away before the baby was born so that their souls could meet over there before the baby was born, where they were both whole and present. I think she got a lot of comfort from that idea. Ezra's been sick for the past year, and there's a good chance that had he gotten sick and passed after the new baby came, she wouldn't have been able to be with him at the end and/or get to have him met the baby because of infection concerns.

Anyways--- She did end up having the baby today! Baby girl, 12:40pm like 6lb 5oz I think and 19inches long, which seems sooo tiny to me. To realize that Tenley was over two whole pounds and almost 3 inches bigger is crazzzzzy! I'm hoping she got a chance to sleep overnight a bit. When I stopped talking to her she said they'd spaced out to every twenty minutes, so that was her plan anyways. She said all in all it was her easiest labor yet, and they were all home by 5pm too (birth centre birth). So jealous of her right now. lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> One thing I'm really grateful for is that Gabe is respectful of Norah's sleep. Loves to say "shhhhh baby sleeping" he likes to watch her sleep, which is a mixed blessing. Norah, OTOH, likes to climb all over Gabe while he sleeps.
> 
> ...


Oh that is the worst when you get to that point of "ok, I think I'll lay down and nap with her now..." and then 2 minutes later she wakes up. blargh. Hope you get some rest tonight.

I don't clean with a lot of truly natural stuff. We keep trying and finding that it's just not doing the trick. Our bathroom cleaner is dawn/vinegar and it works fantastic. For the kitchen and general dusting we use Mrs. Meyers, which I call "mock green". It's not as bad as most grocery store brands, but I'm not fooled into thinking it's truly natural. And we use all out mainstream crap for our dishes. We had green stuff but they weren't getting clean at all.

Random thought of the day-- For the first time since before Tenley was born (ie before my husband was off work really...) we have a few thousand dollars in our savings account. As long as we keep going as we are, it should finally get a chance to slowly build itself back up again. *phew* It felt like we kept finding one thing after another that we were spending money on. It's nice to even be putting a little bit into savings now, and it should go up with DH's new job.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I like my toothpaste. The first batch needed a little more peppermint but it worked really well.

My dh is gone for 3 weeks and I can't believe how relaxed I feel. I'm happier and have more energy and am just enjoying things more even though I should be PMSing. Bedtime is so much easier. We just go to bed whenever we are ready. I don't have to worry about the time or the noise disturbing anyone else. If K or D isn't ready to settle down, they can stay up and wander around the bedroom and play or watch TV for a bit.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

akind1, I've been sending baby vibes to you all weekend! I know you are so ready to have him out!

JJ, that stuff with your ILs is just crap. I'd definitely stop reaching out to them at all. Rearrange your life, and lifestyle, so that you and your DH do not need to contact them at all. They seem pretty toxic.

MW, I'm glad you're getting a bit of peace. Why do you think you worry about disturbing DH around bedtimes? Does he verbalize that you guys are upsetting him? My DH says he doesn't like the sound machine that I have on for Ava but he knows he just has to deal. She sleeps too lightly to not have it on. And he can go sleep in another room if he doesn't like it.

AFM, Ava's sleep has been crap the last two nights. She's waking every 1-2 hrs for milk. I'm exhausted. Makes me realize that I don't know if I would be willing/able to get back in to the newborn/infant phase again. I'm loving the toddler phase though for the most part. She's just such a delight. I miss her when she's asleep at night and can't wait for the next day so we can play again. On Friday, I really tried to focus on saying "yes" to her as much as possible. If she asked me to sit down and color with her, I stopped folding laundry and sat to color. She found the My Brest Friend nursing pillow in my closet and has started snuggling with it and she asks me to lay down with her and snuggle or put it on and let her lay on it. And she asked me to get in her bath with her on Friday night so I grabbed my wine and had a nice soak with her. It was really great. My house was a disaster when she went to bed that night but it was nice to have that day with her. She didn't have as many meltdowns although she did lose it when she was getting ready for bed and DH wasn't home yet. She was BAWLING. I finally texted him and said he needed to get home ASAP because she was not calming down. Once I told her he was on the way home, she was fine. Her teeth are bothering her again so that's making her weepy but I think she's on the verge of another developmental leap because she can lose it at the drop of a hat.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

JJ that all sounds super irritating and tough. You might never know why they are being jerks. The only thing you can do is continue living life and not let it bother you. You can't control anyone else - but you can control your response. Leave them to their own nonsense. If they can't be bothered to see you, see Ten, their loss. Hugs. It's hard, regardless.

Come on baby Theo!! Mama wants to meet you!!!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> My dh is gone for 3 weeks and I can't believe how relaxed I feel. I'm happier and have more energy and am just enjoying things more even though I should be PMSing. Bedtime is so much easier. We just go to bed whenever we are ready. I don't have to worry about the time or the noise disturbing anyone else. If K or D isn't ready to settle down, they can stay up and wander around the bedroom and play or watch TV for a bit.


I feel the same way when C leaves for a long trip. It's so much less stressful. I don't get anywhere near as anxious about bed time (I think subconciously I always feel like he's waiting for me, waiting for the kids to be asleep, etc). I bet too, K and D are feeling your zen and like it too. The kids can tell when C and I are tense with each other, and of course get clingier and more whiny and needy. It just compounds the issue. Enjoy your space. Sometimes absence can make the heart soften and grow fonder.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> On Friday, I really tried to focus on saying "yes" to her as much as possible. If she asked me to sit down and color with her, I stopped folding laundry and sat to color. She found the My Brest Friend nursing pillow in my closet and has started snuggling with it and she asks me to lay down with her and snuggle or put it on and let her lay on it. And she asked me to get in her bath with her on Friday night so I grabbed my wine and had a nice soak with her. It was really great.


This just sounds so nice! Good for you. It's such a conscious effort sometimes to just ENJOY these kids. Yes everything else goes to shit. But whatever. These are the important things, really.

Crap sleep here too. HUGE language developments happening along with 2 eyeteeth that we're still waiting for. He's happy to be awake and I'm just not. The rare night he sleeps Nora is up with nightmares. I'm DRAGGING. I feel like I'm drinking coffee all morning, then switching to wine for water honestly. Sigh. This too shall pass.

New words this week-ish : go, lets go, Brobee, Lorax, Mickey, race, baby, boo boo, eat, lightning mcqueen, poop, boob, vroooom, choo choo, train, mom-mom, nora, shoes, uh-oh (tho he's had that awhile), stuck...I think I'm forgetting some. It's CRAZY. I get so excited!!!

New signs he's using are drink, eat, more, and thank you. Oh and shaking his head no! and sometimes nodding yes. Before we only had all done and milk.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Crap sleep here too. HUGE language developments happening along with 2 eyeteeth that we're still waiting for. He's happy to be awake and I'm just not. The rare night he sleeps Nora is up with nightmares. I'm DRAGGING. I feel like I'm drinking coffee all morning, then switching to wine for water honestly. Sigh. This too shall pass.
> 
> ...


Wow! Go Finn! I'm guessing that must be what's going on around these parts too but geez, the waking every couple of hours is HARD. Especially since she slept through the night last week. She went to bed at 8:30 with DH and slept until 7:45 AM. No wake-ups, no crying out, nothing. Just slept. But she is getting easier to understand and she's trying to run and jump so I know she's got some physical leaps coming down the pipe.

Oh I meant to say that I totally understand how you feel about taking Finn to DW, especially with his CARS obsession right now. I'd love to get Ava up to Sesame Place and the Crayola factory. I may have to settle for taking her to Busch Gardens this summer. Their kid section is Sesame Street-themed so that may be good enough for now. I want to try to do a trip to Disney when Ava is almost 3 so next year, late spring. I think that would be a good time to try that with her.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

We are planning on doing Sesame Place this summer! Maybe we can plan to go around the same time!? Tho it's not that much of a drive for us, we'll stay somewhere overnight, prob a long weekend.

I hope Finn is better at staying close. He is testing my anti-harness stance every time he freaking runs off!! I lost him at target, he ran out the front doors. I lost him at school, he just bolted and ran. He runs off on every walk. At stores he just takes off with no regard to where I am. It's so frustrating! An amusement park makes my eye twitch thinking about it, srsly.

But he would die to meet Lightning McQueen. Like srsly go berserk.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> We are planning on doing Sesame Place this summer! Maybe we can plan to go around the same time!? Tho it's not that much of a drive for us, we'll stay somewhere overnight, prob a long weekend.
> 
> ...


That would be so much fun! One of our friends has a second house in Philly so we'll try to stay there if they aren't there. I was just looking on their site and you can get a free second day so it makes sense to stay and visit two days instead of just one for the same price.

Man, Finn must be fast! Ava's short little legs can't carry her very far in a short amount of time.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> AFM, Ava's sleep has been crap the last two nights. She's waking every 1-2 hrs for milk. I'm exhausted. Makes me realize that I don't know if I would be willing/able to get back in to the newborn/infant phase again. I'm loving the toddler phase though for the most part. She's just such a delight.


I get that. We've been surrounded by a lot of babyness lately, and even DH made a comment the other day about getting pregnant, and yes I know when I think back to what it used to be like-- I'm not ready to chance that again quite yet. Now I know for us, we will someday... I think I'm just not there yet. It makes me realize how far we've come-- In general lately she's waking maybe 4-5 times a night now? But then I remember she used to wake like 12 times a night... and I shudder! lol She's teething really bad here too, so yeah, we're doing the almost every hour wakeups, and she's been up for the day at 630, so I'm yawning all day. So much developmental leaps though, which gives points to the other side of the coin-- they grow up so fast! And how can I NOT want another amazing little one like this? lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> JJ that all sounds super irritating and tough. You might never know why they are being jerks. The only thing you can do is continue living life and not let it bother you. You can't control anyone else - but you can control your response. Leave them to their own nonsense. If they can't be bothered to see you, see Ten, their loss. Hugs. It's hard, regardless.


Yes definitely. I got a chance to talk to my mom about it tonight, which was nice. I think I just needed to really get it out. I'm done now. We'll see them at family gatherings, but I just don't have the extra time or energy to deal with their bullshit right now. They can grow up and be mature adults, or they can just stay away.

Kat-- thinking of you so much in these last days. Sending zen thoughts and urges to Theo to come meet everyone!


----------



## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> My dh is gone for 3 weeks and I can't believe how relaxed I feel. I'm happier and have more energy and am just enjoying things more even though I should be PMSing. Bedtime is so much easier. We just go to bed whenever we are ready. I don't have to worry about the time or the noise disturbing anyone else. If K or D isn't ready to settle down, they can stay up and wander around the bedroom and play or watch TV for a bit.


 My house has a different vibe when DH isn't here as well, but I do prefer him here. He goes away a couple times a year for hunting or business (for 2-3 days)and everyone is like "we can come keep you company while he's gone!" I really would prefer to have those couple days to just me and the kids. They are days when we can run whatever schedule we want and eat french fries and chicken for lunch and dinner 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> AFM, Ava's sleep has been crap the last two nights. She's waking every 1-2 hrs for milk. I'm exhausted. Makes me realize that I don't know if I would be willing/able to get back in to the newborn/infant phase again. I'm loving the toddler phase though for the most part. She's just such a delight. I miss her when she's asleep at night and can't wait for the next day so we can play again. On Friday, I really tried to focus on saying "yes" to her as much as possible. If she asked me to sit down and color with her, I stopped folding laundry and sat to color. She found the My Brest Friend nursing pillow in my closet and has started snuggling with it and she asks me to lay down with her and snuggle or put it on and let her lay on it. And she asked me to get in her bath with her on Friday night so I grabbed my wine and had a nice soak with her. It was really great. My house was a disaster when she went to bed that night but it was nice to have that day with her. She didn't have as many meltdowns although she did lose it when she was getting ready for bed and DH wasn't home yet. She was BAWLING. I finally texted him and said he needed to get home ASAP because she was not calming down. Once I told her he was on the way home, she was fine. Her teeth are bothering her again so that's making her weepy but I think she's on the verge of another developmental leap because she can lose it at the drop of a hat.


 I'm sorry sleep has been so awful lately, I think that making it a point to say yes is a fantastic idea and something I'm going to try to incorporate. Becca (7) is suddenly having meltdowns on a daily basis, it's almost like her toddler emotional state has come back to live with us. Our plan for this week is for each of us (both DH and myself) to spend designated time with her daily. We're about 99% certain that her love language is quality time and I'm hoping if we fill up her "tank" that maybe there will be some outward signs that things are improving.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> New words this week-ish : go, lets go, Brobee, Lorax, Mickey, race, baby, boo boo, eat, lightning mcqueen, poop, boob, vroooom, choo choo, train, mom-mom, nora, shoes, uh-oh (tho he's had that awhile), stuck...I think I'm forgetting some. It's CRAZY. I get so excited!!!
> 
> New signs he's using are drink, eat, more, and thank you. Oh and shaking his head no! and sometimes nodding yes. Before we only had all done and milk.


I love the word explosion, I took Ben in at 18 months because he had only 2 words (mama and daddy weren't included) and we were getting concerned. Now at 25 months he has more words that I can count anymore. Lorax and Mickey are on our list as well 

I took the kids in for well child visits last week (more or less just to keep them listed as patients), despite the fact that Ben still doesn't really eat he is growing well and we might have a new course of action for identifying the foods that Becca is intolerant/allergic to.

Both of the kids are emotional and throwing tantrums on a daily basis, I'd like to join them. I think some outdoor playtime would be really nice and helpful but everything outside is very wet and icy. Spring is coming but the inbetween is a real pain.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I know you all know, but congratulations to Kat! Her Theo and my Ryan share a birthday.









I think my 3 days of denial have definitely passed. I forgot this happens to me every time dh leaves. I spend the first 3 days in some sort of denial, I guess, and everything seems perfect. Then loneliness and depression set in. I can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything today. I've been just sitting here playing solitaire on my laptop.









I've been thinking that I would like to do more artsy/crafsty stuff with my kids. I have no idea what to do, though. I've looked at a few websites and have some books that all proclaim to have instructions for easy, fun activities that use regular household items but I never have all of the items. I'm just not a creative, artsy person.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Birth story: woke up 6 am Saturday with mild contractions regularly about 8-10 minutes. These continued all day through shopping, eating, etc. sent kids to MILs. Kept up, increasing in intensity but spacing out a bit overnight (read no sleep) and Sunday morning I got on the pump for 30 minutes to increase frequency. Ate breakfast, then walked to get them on a pattern good enough to head to hospital. Arrived at hospital at 1. 4 cm 80% effaced. I stayed that way despite walking, pressure points etc until 9, when we decided intervention was needed. I was exhausted, got an epidural at 9, AROM at 9:30, progressed quickly to 8 by midnight. Stayed there until around 4-5 am Monday morning when I had just a little cervix left. Started pushing at 6 with the nursing staff. Baby slid into the surprised hands of a nurse at 6:31. Doc stepped in the room just as the nurse caught.
Theo is 8 lbs 4 oz, 21 inches. Not huge on nursing yet, but we'll get there. I barely tore this time. Yay!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Wow intense! I'm tired -for- you mama! Go get some sleep and enjoy those new baby snuggles


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Katrina - You are a rockstar! You must have one heck of an OB/Nurse to still be able to have had your second VBAC!

Ben has figured out how to turn the water on in the tub. Yesterday afternoon someone left the bathroom door open and after a few minutes we heard water running and couldn't find Ben. He was standing in the tub fully clothed with puppy slippers and had managed to get the water going. I'm not entirely a fan of his recent independence!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I've been thinking that I would like to do more artsy/crafsty stuff with my kids. I have no idea what to do, though. I've looked at a few websites and have some books that all proclaim to have instructions for easy, fun activities that use regular household items but I never have all of the items. I'm just not a creative, artsy person.


Easiest craft project that I've found: Crayola watercolor sets (1 for each child), cut open paper grocery bags and spread out on the table, add a few bowls of water and let them go! If your boys are anything like my kids, they will turn there noses up at the suggestion to do watercolors but if I sit down and start painting, they will wander over and join in. Then I can get up and go do something else. Glue and glitter are also a hit in my house.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Birth story: woke up 6 am Saturday with mild contractions regularly about 8-10 minutes. These continued all day through shopping, eating, etc. sent kids to MILs. Kept up, increasing in intensity but spacing out a bit overnight (read no sleep) and Sunday morning I got on the pump for 30 minutes to increase frequency. Ate breakfast, then walked to get them on a pattern good enough to head to hospital. Arrived at hospital at 1. 4 cm 80% effaced. I stayed that way despite walking, pressure points etc until 9, when we decided intervention was needed. I was exhausted, got an epidural at 9, AROM at 9:30, progressed quickly to 8 by midnight. Stayed there until around 4-5 am Monday morning when I had just a little cervix left. Started pushing at 6 with the nursing staff. Baby slid into the surprised hands of a nurse at 6:31. Doc stepped in the room just as the nurse caught.
> Theo is 8 lbs 4 oz, 21 inches. Not huge on nursing yet, but we'll get there. I barely tore this time. Yay!


Wow! What a labor! You are a total rockstar! I'm so proud of you! And Theo is a doll. So squishy!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> Ben has figured out how to turn the water on in the tub. Yesterday afternoon someone left the bathroom door open and after a few minutes we heard water running and couldn't find Ben. He was standing in the tub fully clothed with puppy slippers and had managed to get the water going. I'm not entirely a fan of his recent independence!


OMG. I am going to have a big problem on my hands the day Ava figures out how to turn on the water in the tub! She already spends the better part of the day begging to get in the tub.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

You go, Kat! Welcome, Theo!

My boys do usually come to see what's going on if I start doing something rather than just talking to them about it. I'm terrible about keeping stuff on hand, though. I buy paints and glue and what not but it gets left out and open or just gets old and doesn't work anymore. Then I feel like I've wasted money and don't want to buy any more.

Ok, y'all, I think I'm definitely going through premenopause. I got Taking Charge of Your Fertility for R's GF. She's been driving me crazy telling me every other month that she's late so I figure she needs to learn how her body actually works. Anyway, I skimmed through the menopause chapter before giving her the book. It describes me perfectly. Ugh! I'm having serious hot flashes every day. I wake up in the middle of the night hot and sweaty and having to kick off the covers before I burn up. Then I wake up a few hours later freezing cold. I don't know about my cycles since they haven't been regular since having D and I'm breastfeeding but they have been short. What I read said that cycles usually start out shorter than usual and







is heavier before getting longer. Last







was really easy but that was a short cycle. Before that it had been heavier than usual.

I'm going to be 43 in two weeks!


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> OMG. I am going to have a big problem on my hands the day Ava figures out how to turn on the water in the tub! She already spends the better part of the day begging to get in the tub.


 Ben feels the same way about the tub, he goes around signing and asking for a bath. I didn't think he'd be able to turn the water on by himself. I found out today that he can open the fridge!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Ok, y'all, I think I'm definitely going through premenopause. I got Taking Charge of Your Fertility for R's GF. She's been driving me crazy telling me every other month that she's late so I figure she needs to learn how her body actually works. Anyway, I skimmed through the menopause chapter before giving her the book. It describes me perfectly. Ugh! I'm having serious hot flashes every day. I wake up in the middle of the night hot and sweaty and having to kick off the covers before I burn up. Then I wake up a few hours later freezing cold. I don't know about my cycles since they haven't been regular since having D and I'm breastfeeding but they have been short. What I read said that cycles usually start out shorter than usual and
> 
> ...


 Is premenopause a good thing MW?

Becca is spending the night with Nana and Papa tonight and I just finished prepping Latin for homeschool group tomorrow. We are having a huge(hopefully) LAN party this Friday so I need to work on cleaning up the house so that it can be destroyed over the course of Friday-Saturday. Also, trying not to obsess to much but we are in the TWW again .


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> Is premenopause a good thing MW?


Well, yes and no. It's good because I'm ready to be over worrying about having more babies. It's bad because the hot flashes and hormonal mood changes are not fun, if that's what it is. If I am going through premenopause, that might explain a lot of the issues I've been having with my dh. I just hope it doesn't go on for the next 7-10 years.


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Well, yes and no. It's good because I'm ready to be over worrying about having more babies. It's bad because the hot flashes and hormonal mood changes are not fun, if that's what it is. If I am going through premenopause, that might explain a lot of the issues I've been having with my dh. I just hope it doesn't go on for the next 7-10 years.


 That makes sense, are there any supplements you can take to try and level things out a little bit?


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

still mobile only!! reading along but can't really respond. miss you guys! new laptop is on it's way!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> That makes sense, are there any supplements you can take to try and level things out a little bit?


Probably, but I'm not interested in taking anything. This is perfectly normal and natural and doesn't need to be treated.


----------



## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Probably, but I'm not interested in taking anything. This is perfectly normal and natural and doesn't need to be treated.


 I understand what you're saying, but if you are uncomfortable why would taking something herbal (Vitex, etc) be a bad thing? There are some months I have terrible mood swings and yes I could just live with it because it's normal and natural, or I could take supplements (B-Complex, Vitamin D, Vitex) to help calm things down again.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> I understand what you're saying, but if you are uncomfortable why would taking something herbal (Vitex, etc) be a bad thing? There are some months I have terrible mood swings and yes I could just live with it because it's normal and natural, or I could take supplements (B-Complex, Vitamin D, Vitex) to help calm things down again.


It's just not something that I believe in doing. Taking vitamins that my body needs that I might not be getting enough of from the foods I eat is fine. Taking herbal supplements to alter the natural functioning of the body is not something that I want to do, especially something that is going to mess with my hormones. There's a reason why reproductive hormone levels change and drop as people age. I don't want to mess with that.


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Thanks for sharing MW


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> It's just not something that I believe in doing. Taking vitamins that my body needs that I might not be getting enough of from the foods I eat is fine. Taking herbal supplements to alter the natural functioning of the body is not something that I want to do, especially something that is going to mess with my hormones. There's a reason why reproductive hormone levels change and drop as people age. I don't want to mess with that.


I totally get that but I also don't like being uncomfortable! I don't know how I'm going to handle things when I get to that point because I don't like hormones. Ugh. Sorry you're already there MW.

AFM, Ava has an appointment tomorrow morning with her geneticist. One of the genetic counselors called the other day to talk to me before the appointment because they have a new program that will let us do the genetic testing they are recommending and only cost us $100 out of pocket. We haven't moved forward with it so far because our insurance has been denying it. I told him that I feel like we need to discuss it further with her geneticist because I want a better read on HOW this information would change Ava's day to day life. If it won't make a big difference, then I'm inclined to wait until the next time she has an interventional cath and just piggyback the bloodwork on to that bloodwork. The only thing there is we don't know WHEN she will have her next interventional cath. It could be in six months or it could be in two years. So is it ok to wait that long?

When I got off the phone with him, I just started bawling. Ava's heart stuff is one thing but this other genetic stuff, it's really hard for me to handle. As she's getting older, it's starting to become more apparent to me that she looks different. And I hate that there's the possibility that she's going to struggle throughout her life because of this. She's also not on the same level as some other toddlers her age. In my July MDC DDC on FB, the other mamas recently posted stuff that their babies are doing. And Ava is so not there. Their babies are counting, saying colors and shapes, speaking 3 word sentences, etc. Ava is NOT there. And so we're back to the question of early intervention. From all I've seen and read, speech intervention at this age is mostly fun and helpful. And a lot of the work is done at home with the parents. I've been working with her at home but it may be good to have some more "formal" instruction for me to help her since I'm not a speech/path. The genetic counselor said we can talk to the geneticist about having Ava seen by a developmental pedi to see if she does in fact need intervention at this stage.

Please send good thoughts for us tomorrow mamas. This crap is stressing me out.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I totally get that but I also don't like being uncomfortable! I don't know how I'm going to handle things when I get to that point because I don't like hormones. Ugh. Sorry you're already there MW.
> 
> ...


Oh mama *hugs* It doesn't seem to me like she's 'different' or delayed, but trust your instincts. I agree that if you're worried, it's worth getting a consult and seeing what the intervention would be like. I know a few kids who have gone through early intervention, and yeah, they did seem to treat it more like playtime than a rigorous teaching time.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! You're a strong mama, don't ever forget that. God has given you Ava because YOU are strong enough and loving enough and perfectly fitted to be Ava's mama.

I don't have anything terribly interesting over here. We went for Ten's last "catchup" needle on Tuesday, and decided to get the men C at the same time as her third round of adacel. She'd done well with the first two rounds, and the Men C has a low side effect rate, so i felt fairly confident doing that. Which... would have been fine. Except that as the ped was pulling the first needle out, Tenley turned, and so the needle basically jerked sideways under her skin :/ She's got a massive welt thrre, exactly where the needle was dragged. I'm confident it has nothing to do with the meds, just the needle, but I still feel horrible. She doesn't seem to notice, but it looks so bad. 

My best friend finally went public with her pregnancy. I feel like I'm running such a thin line between trying to give her info about natural birth and AP and be supportive, but also not pressure her too much and seem judgemental. This is the same friend that her and her mother commented in favor of spanking on one of my FB posts. :/

One of my other friends from high school got induced this morning. She's not even due til the 19th. It sounds like she's coping alright, but blah. She was saying she was so worried about it, since she hadn't been induced with her first. And I just wanted to scream THEN DON'T DO IT!! Bah.

Day completely off tomorrow with no commitments, and then a babywearers meeting on Friday morning, and then no commitments again until next week, maybe. I don't have my schedule yet. It's been really nice to have this whole week off. DH starts his official shift rotation on Good Friday, and from then on he'll be working 7am-7pm, 7am-7pm and then 7pm-7am, 7pm-7am, and then four days off, rinse and repeat. I don't think it's really sunken in yet!

Got my hair done today. Haven't finished processing yet. That makes it sound worse than it is, really, but just bah. I'm disappointed.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Annie ~ I know I only see photos of Ava but she doesn't look different to me and I'm actually quite shocked that people have 1.5 year olds doing all of those things. Based on what you described, D would be delayed as well, which I don't think he is at all. He barely speaks single words, much less multiple word sentences. I wouldn't expect him to know any colors or numbers or letters or anything like that. Granted, I don't "work" with him to try to force him to learn that stuff. We just live life as normal and I trust that he will learn what he needs to know as he needs to know it. I have never worked with any of my kids like that.

I agree to a certain extent with trusting your heart and instincts on stuff like that. However, as I've said before, I think we need to be very careful that we don't get so caught up in comparing our children to others and expecting them to be a certain way that we see problems that aren't really there or aren't really problems.

WRT the premenopause stuff, it's not like I feel like I'm dying or I'm in pain or anything. I just get really hot sometimes. The other night I was sitting in the living room and got so hot I actually had to rip my shirt off.







But, even with that, it's not that bad. Plus, I don't know for sure that it's menopause yet, especially since I'm still breastfeeding.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I know that Norah is among the younger in our group of whatever babies, but seriously, colors, numbers, and sentences? Gabe is 3 years old and I'm thrilled how well he's doing with colors, numbers and shapes! and he just started with multi word sentences like a year ago. Norah has one word things. the only two words she's put together are "pop" and "tart" LOL

Go with your gut, but also take a deep breath - I only know Ava in pics, to me, she seems tiny and animated, but neither of those things is that much different than the typical 18 month old.

MW: re: menopause, I think it's certainly possible to be going through while breastfeeding. While you may not be bothered by the hot flashes and not want to do any thing there, maybe some natural things that might help with the mood stuff that comes with menopause might be helpful, as that affects everybody? Just a thought. And if it in turns helps the hot flashes, all the better. But if the things are all things you can tolerate that don't bother anyone, then rock on mama!

AFU: home, other kids should be home this afternoon. I miss them, the house is too quiet. We had a great first night at home last night. I nursed him down at 12, we slept 4 hours, nursed, changed diaper, nursed more, back in bed at 5, and I was up at 8:30, and Theo at 9. I really can't complain. If we keep this up, it will be great. I hope the other kids can sleep through the middle of the night squawking though. I over did it a little yesterday and am a bit sore today. But I have pain pills!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> While you may not be bothered by the hot flashes and not want to do any thing there, maybe some natural things that might help with the mood stuff that comes with menopause might be helpful, as that affects everybody?


My family has been dealing with my PMS mood swings forever so they can deal with this, too.









Glad things are going so well with baby Theo. Enjoy that babymoon!









We finally got out of the house today. Chik-Fil-A to meet up with the other homeschoolers and play a little. We were there for 3 hours! I've gotten through the first week of dh being gone and it's starting to wear on me. Poor D wants to be on me all the time but by the end of the day I am so cuddled out.









Talking about growth and development and whatnot, K is finally growing out of his 4T clothes. He'll be 6 in less than 3 months.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

akind1, I'm so happy to hear that things are going well with Theo being home! And he's sleeping well for you, that's so great! Do you love having a new nursling?









Ava's appointment went relatively well. They let her stand against the wall for the first time to get her height and she did great with that. She did get upset when I put her on the scale for her weight but I think she was anticipating what normally comes next which is BP and pulse/ox. She HATES those. So she was fine after she realized we were not doing that today. She did get upset while I was talking with the genetic fellow. Her verbal comprehension has always been high and she understands when I'm talking about "negative" things concerning her. So she kept getting her feelings hurt when we were discussing things that she can't do or milestones that she hasn't met yet. That's been one of my big concerns with going down this path because labels and words mean something. And people internalize them. But there are some medical sides of Noonan's that we need to be aware of/watch out for down the road and I just can't in good faith ignore, or not pursue, the diagnosis. I kept repeating to her that I wasn't being critical of her but the doctors needed to know the things that she wasn't doing yet so they could help her if we need them to. After much discussion with her geneticist, we decided to go ahead with the bloodwork today. One of the big issues with Noonan's, besides the heart defect, is risk of hemorrhaging. The way her geneticist explained it was that even though it hasn't been a problem for her yet, if she does have Noonan's, it could pop up in the future. And knowing to be on the lookout for it, especially knowing that she WILL have more invasive procedures down the road, is valuable. The testing takes time and if they decide at her June cardiology appt that she needs her interventional cath soon, we want to already know if we are dealing with Noonan's or not. She said that there may be value in having her examined by a developmental pedi but it's a long appointment and not imperative to pursue. She did say that based on her experience and dealings with other kids that have Noonan's, Ava does present physically as having Noonan's. But she said it's mild and it may not ever be to the point that someone could look at her and tell that something was different. She is small. On the regular growth chart, she's at the 3rd percentile for height. On the Noonan's growth chart, she's at the 50th percentile. So still not even that tall on the adjusted scale.

The blood draw went as well as could be expected. The nurse held her and the tech was able to get in with the first stick. She was angry and hurt but she recovered pretty quickly. I had planned to get pizza in the hospital cafeteria afterward but Ava was still so worked up that she didn't want to eat. She kept pointing to my bag and saying "Out! Out!"







Girlfriend was ready to be DONE with the hospital for the day! So we'll find out in a couple of months what the result of the testing is.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

HUGS Lauri!!

I want to say first of all I HEAR you b/c it's so tough to hear that other kids the same age are doing this or that. It's hard not to compare. And you have extra concerns most parents DONT have. I'm inclined as well to say don't worry, she'll get there in her own time, but I also respect the concern you have that something is up/not quite right.

Even so she is amazing. She does things other kids her age DON'T. Are they all potty trained? Are they all asking why? I really feel for everything they DON'T do the same, there is something else they do instead. it's all a game of catch up until maybe 3? 4? Then it balances out. So. Have concern, but don't WORRY. Worry is no good.

I'm so happy I have a computer!!!

MW I hear you on the mood swings, lol. PMS around here is a freaking warzone.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

It's always a catch up game regardless of age if you fall into that trap. There are always going to be some people who do this instead of that. It only balances out when we let go of the comparisons.

I, too, get that none of us wants any one of our children to be disadvantaged in any way. I really do get that. But unless it's a life or death situation, disadvantaged is really only in the eye of the beholder. Some people end up being fiercely independent. Some end up needing others just to survive. There are so many variables that effect that that none of us have any control over. And now I'm babbling.









E is off to Boy Scouts again tonight with his friend. I can't go with him while dh is gone. He really loved it and is so excited.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I must have missed this! You let him join! Wow! I'll be interested to see how this plays out.









That's also a good point. I forget that not everyone does XYZ. Not every kid goes to pre-k, watches TV, goes on educational outings, speaks two languages. It's all just part and parcel. You just have to do what you can, expose them to what you want to, and try not to get bogged down by the details.

question for y'all who aren't religious. I don't really enlighten the kids to ANY religions b/c I don't feel the need. A lot of my friends do. They are agnostic or just secular christian, and teach about christianity, judaism, etc, saying it'll make them know all about the diff religions so they can choose as they get older.

We focus on science. On facts not faith. I feel teaching them about religions is confusing right now so I'm not doing any. What do you do?

And...religious mamas, chime in. If you do teach about god and faith, do you also explain that some ppl don't believe? How do you explain that?


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

He hasn't joined yet. He's just going to another meeting. I expect he will join once dh comes home and one of us can go with him to check it out.

I don't go out of my way to teach my children about religion (but then I don't go out of my way to teach my children anything







). However, we do end up talking about religion because it comes up in our daily lives when I read news articles or watch TV shows. Even me watching the fictional TV show, Supernatural, has led to some discussions on religion for us. I do try to express to my children that it's important to respect other people's beliefs as long as they don't infringe on ours.

IDK. It's just a part of our lives, I guess, but I am always into that stuff. I forget that not everyone is. Like dh seems to be oblivious but he didn't grow up in a family that had open discussions about things. It's just strange to me.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> HUGS Lauri!!
> 
> ...


I really try hard not to compare Ava. And when I observe how other toddlers are, I don't feel bad that Ava can't do that stuff. It's kind of hard to explain. I notice it because it's another piece of the puzzle, especially since we've been trying to figure out if she has NS without doing the bloodwork. The bloodwork will provide more answers so that's helpful. She does do things that some other toddlers aren't doing. Her verbal comprehension is very high. And I agree with being concerned vs worrying. Worrying doesn't accomplish anything.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> It's always a catch up game regardless of age if you fall into that trap. There are always going to be some people who do this instead of that. It only balances out when we let go of the comparisons.
> 
> I, too, get that none of us wants any one of our children to be disadvantaged in any way. I really do get that. But unless it's a life or death situation, disadvantaged is really only in the eye of the beholder. Some people end up being fiercely independent. Some end up needing others just to survive. There are so many variables that effect that that none of us have any control over. And now I'm babbling.


I think it's such a balancing act. Having grown up with my older brother, who is differently abled, and having seen how early intervention speech therapy would have helped him throughout his life, I'm hesitant to not be aggressive with regard to her speech delay. My brother didn't get intervention until he was 7 and by that point, he was aware that the therapy he was getting was "different" than what other kids were doing and he didn't want to participate. But his inability to effectively communicate without a helper has been a HUGE source of frustration in his life. Ava is nowhere close to that point but if I can help her now as opposed to waiting until she's 7 or 8, I would prefer to do that.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> question for y'all who aren't religious. I don't really enlighten the kids to ANY religions b/c I don't feel the need. A lot of my friends do. They are agnostic or just secular christian, and teach about christianity, judaism, etc, saying it'll make them know all about the diff religions so they can choose as they get older.
> 
> ...


We talk a lot about different religions in our house. It's kind of unavoidable. We're Roman Catholic and the big kids' mom is Baptist. And DH likes to go to this non-denominational church so even more religion! DH likes to say that different forms of Christianity is pretty much the same at the wholesale level, it's just different at the retail level.







And we talk about the fact that Jesus was a jew.

I've had interesting interactions with my old nanny family. The parents are pretty much agnostic but they send the boys to a private, christian prep school. So they do chapel every Friday, etc. One of the boys, now 12, has really gotten in to religion and asked the mom to go to church with him over spring break. And he wants a bible. So even though they have never done the religious thing at home, the exposure they've had at school has prompted one of the boys to look further.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> He hasn't joined yet. He's just going to another meeting. I expect he will join once dh comes home and one of us can go with him to check it out.


If he joins, is DH going to go to the meetings and do the camping and stuff with him?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> If he joins, is DH going to go to the meetings and do the camping and stuff with him?


I'm hoping that Sean will do as much with him as he can. E will not do camping or any other sleep over without one of us. Yes, I'm paranoid in that way. When dh goes to Quantico I don't know what will happen.


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Annie - As the others have already said trust your instincts but Ben is almost 25 months and just started talking. Colors, numbers, and letters aren't even on the radar right now. 

Carrie - So glad you have a computer again!

Katrina - I'm happy you are at home with your family 

I got a positive test today, slightly terrified! We haven't decided when to tell Becca/make it public.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Lyterae, congrats! I was terrified through most of my pregnancy with Ava because of my miscarriage. We didn't tell anyone IRL until 15 weeks including the kids.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Lyterae! Hooray! Sending healthy, sticky vibes your way.

We are home, older kids came back yesterday afternoon, Gabe has been great with Theo. much better than I anticipated. Norah hasn't paid him much attention, except when he cries.

Religion. We haven't discussed it really. But we ourselves are Protestant, have several Catholic friends, and a few Jewish ones, most of which are at least nominally observant if not strictly so. Religion is part of the world we live in, especially around the holidays. I'd like to expose the kids to what I can, I find it fascinating. As far as non believers . . . I would explain that like any other religion. Almost like explaining why some people choose to eat meat. It's not entirely the same, but for people like yourself that hold vegan ism as a strongly held belief, maybe that works as an analogy.

Theo is back at birthweight and I am back in pre pregnancy jeans! Woot!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

lyterae ~ Congratulations! Do you know how far along you are? I know that terrified feeling. Sticky vibes your way.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh exciting lyterae! Sending sticky vibes!! Idk if you do u/s, but we waited until the first u/s with N (so around 8 weeks?) to tell family. With Finn we waited until 6 weeks only (and I had only heard the hb once) b/c I was outed on thanksgiving for not drinking wine. It's such a personal decision. You know Becca best. You know yourself best. You can just feel it out and make that decision when it feels right for you. There is no right answer.

re:religion I just don't know it's necessary to explain much other than the basics to the kids since we aren't religious at all. N and I have been having good talks lately about it. She was asking why ppl go to church and what they do there, and after i explained it she said she wanted to go someday. I said that's totally fine if she chooses to do that. She asked if I would go with her, and I said I might, but I don't think I'd enjoy it much b/c it's just not what I personally believe. That I've already been many times and it didn't feel right to me. But she's open to make that choice and see.

Just lots of really good talks with her lately. She's really having some deep thoughts, especially about life and death.

I suppose I just feel odd b/c ppl are starting to do easter things and then ask why I'm not explaining the holiday, and passover, and all that. Do I feel I should? No. But I just wanted opinions b/c I wonder if it's something I'm ...idk....obligated to explain? Does that make sense?


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Well, I don't think you are obligated to do anything. I have explained to my kids why other people celebrate certain holidays like Easter and Christmas, mainly because it's the type of thing that we've always had discussions about in my family.

Why is Nora asking about this stuff now? Is she being influenced by someone at her school or has just come up because it is being discussed in school? I would be concerned about that. Looking back to my elementary school days, I now see how wrong it was to have Christian holiday celebrations and special events. Even something that appears very innocent, like coloring pictures of the Easter bunny can have a strong influence on young children. I don't think it's the place of schools and teachers to expose our young children to personal beliefs like that.


----------



## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Lyterae, congrats! I was terrified through most of my pregnancy with Ava because of my miscarriage. We didn't tell anyone IRL until 15 weeks including the kids.


Thanks Annie! Between the excitement and the nervousness my poor stomach is in knots.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Theo is back at birthweight and I am back in pre pregnancy jeans! Woot!


 Congratulations on both accounts! 

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> lyterae ~ Congratulations! Do you know how far along you are? I know that terrified feeling. Sticky vibes your way.


Not even 4 weeks yet (downside to charting maybe?)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh exciting lyterae! Sending sticky vibes!! Idk if you do u/s, but we waited until the first u/s with N (so around 8 weeks?) to tell family. With Finn we waited until 6 weeks only (and I had only heard the hb once) b/c I was outed on thanksgiving for not drinking wine. It's such a personal decision. You know Becca best. You know yourself best. You can just feel it out and make that decision when it feels right for you. There is no right answer.
> 
> ...


 We opted to go ahead and tell Becca though we aren't making it public yet. We've decided we'd like to celebrate it and be excited with our friends and family regardless of how long the baby will be with us. Though obviously we are hoping for a sticky baby! We won't see the midwife until 12 weeks and based on previous experiences I will be showing well before then.

With Nora and holidays/celebrations I would tell her what they are celebrating and why and explain why your family does or does not. So I don't think you're obligated to explain to her, but at the same time if she's asking quesitons why wouldn't you? Becca and I still have similiar conversations and for a long time it was very straightforward, we don't do x because of y. She'd say okay and wander off to play again. It was never a big deal to her, except Halloween beecause she wanted candy.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

good point Lyterae. When she brings it up we do talk. Maybe I wasn't clear. I meant bring it up on my own as a lesson or something, not just discuss as matter of factly.

MW - well, we have a church at the end of our street that we pass often, and we play in the field. So she sees ppl come and go all the time so that's where that came from.

And we do secular easter so I'm ok with her doing easter at school. We do the bunny and the baskets.

I hear you on the subtle messages in schools. But that's part of the deal when you go to school. I don't think it's wrong or bad to be exposed to other people's beliefs, nor do I think it's wrong for her to have diff beliefs than I do/we do.

Also not too long ago she mentioned to me she was going to buy me a plus necklace. I was so confused, plus necklace? And she said, yeah, like grandma has and uncle scott has. I said OH a cross!? So that became a discussion on oh man, everything. jesus, what people believe, how people show what they believe, what I don't believe, etc...

They're just conversations. Idk. But these are the moments that are forming her beliefs. So. It's a lot to figure out!


----------



## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

Sorry Carrie I misunderstood, I don't think it needs to be something that is "taught" more of something that is explained along the way? When Becca was in school though we would make it a point to try to explain the holidays/events as they were coming up so that we were the first ones to give her the ideas/concepts to absorb. During a teaching years ago a man explained children's brains as sponges and if we fill them up with knowledge when they are thrown other information it can't absorb because the sponge is already full with good information. Not a perfect reiteration but that's the basic idea.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

No I get it. You're right. The 1st explanation is the one that sticks with them. Which is why I'm tryng to choose my words and criticisms carefully right now with these talks.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Aaaaaannnnnd the stomach bug is back. My poor sick duck!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I hear you on the subtle messages in schools. But that's part of the deal when you go to school. I don't think it's wrong or bad to be exposed to other people's beliefs, nor do I think it's wrong for her to have diff beliefs than I do/we do.


No, it's not wrong or bad to be exposed to other people's beliefs. If/when my children show an interest or ask questions, I answer them. I don't have issues with them wanting to go to church or synagog to see what it's like. My dh is Catholic and goes to mass. The boys can go whenever they want. But, a public school shouldn't be celebrating a religious holiday in any way. It's unconstitutional.

It occurred to me after I posted that Nora is in a private preschool. In that case, they can teach whatever they want as long as they aren't receiving taxpayer dollars. Some people choose to send their children to private schools because they do teach specific religious doctrine that public schools don't and that's fine. I was talking about things like my public elementary school putting on a Christmas play/pageant or having special Easter decorations. Back in those days, we had Easter and Christmas break, not spring and winter break. Totally unconstitutional.

I guess it just kind of surprises me that Nora is wanting to have these serious conversations already. I don't think anything like that has come up with E, much less K, yet. I would expect more like what lyterae described. The child asks a quick question, you give a simple answer, and she runs off to play. It surprises me that a 4 year old would be so serious or philosophical but maybe I'm reading more into it than what is really happening.

Annie ~







What the heck?! I hope everyone gets well quickly.

DH is hitting on me on the phone. I hate when he does that! He doesn't have the guts to talk to me directly and in person. He waits until he is away and then sends me stupid texts. Then he comes home and acts like nothing was ever brought up. It's creepy.


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> Annie - As the others have already said trust your instincts but Ben is almost 25 months and just started talking. Colors, numbers, and letters aren't even on the radar right now.
> 
> I got a positive test today, slightly terrified! We haven't decided when to tell Becca/make it public.


Yes, I wanted to chime in on that. I know Tenley is the young end of the babies here, but even at her age, I hear about other babies who are making appropriate animal noises, or pointing to the right colors, or counting, and know what their names look like, etc etc. And I read that and scrunch up my face and go Really?!?! But I can honestly say I have put NO effort into -teaching- her any of those things either. She knows that puppies are fun. She knows that her dress is pretty. She knows crackers taste good, and she can lay her head back in the bath. The rest of it? Meh... eventually she'll start picking those things up, but I'm not worried if she can't say her alphabet and count to 20 by the time she hits 3, you know? Obviously, I totally see your concern, and why getting the information is a good thing, even a really good thing, and why it would be on your radar more, because you're watching for Noonans, but honestly it doesn't sound like she's really off the development chart. She's just developing in other ways, and eventually those will slow down, and the other things will take over. A balancing act, I suppose.

YAYYYY Lyterae! We will certainly celebrate with you!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> Almost like explaining why some people choose to eat meat. It's not entirely the same, but for people like yourself that hold vegan ism as a strongly held belief, maybe that works as an analogy.
> 
> Theo is back at birthweight and I am back in pre pregnancy jeans! Woot!


I like that way of describing things, especially since it's something she'll be familiar with. This is how mama does things, but there are going to be other people out there who believe and/or do differently, and that's ok, as long as we're all respectful of one another.

Whoot indeed!! I'm still not really back in prepregnancy jeans. lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> re:religion I just don't know it's necessary to explain much other than the basics to the kids since we aren't religious at all. N and I have been having good talks lately about it. She was asking why ppl go to church and what they do there, and after i explained it she said she wanted to go someday. I said that's totally fine if she chooses to do that. She asked if I would go with her, and I said I might, but I don't think I'd enjoy it much b/c it's just not what I personally believe. That I've already been many times and it didn't feel right to me. But she's open to make that choice and see.
> 
> ...


I don't think it's something you're 'obligated' to explain at all. That said, it might be helpful for her to see it from an 'outside' view almost. Like- this is what we celebrate. Some people believe this story that .... etc etc. We don't believe that, but that's why some people celebrate this holiday. Here in our house we do --- eggs, and a bunny etc. You could also go over some of the Pagan traditions too, which might help explain more about how some of the symbolism ties together, but I'd take your cue from her and see what she's interested in hearing. For her, it might be ok to just say "Some people who are christians celebrate Easter as the day when they believe Jesus (died/rose from the dead/etc however you think you can explain it without freaking her out). We don't believe that, but it's a really fun day to celebrate spring and new life, and have the easter bunny bring us treats!" And that might be all she needs, end of story, for another year, or two years or so. You're not withholding information if you do that, you're just waiting for her to come to you with the questions before you confuse her with information she's not ready for yet.

bah, feel like I'm talking in circles. Long day! lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *lyterae*
> 
> With Nora and holidays/celebrations I would tell her what they are celebrating and why and explain why your family does or does not. So I don't think you're obligated to explain to her, but at the same time if she's asking quesitons why wouldn't you? Becca and I still have similiar conversations and for a long time it was very straightforward, we don't do x because of y. She'd say okay and wander off to play again. It was never a big deal to her, except Halloween beecause she wanted candy.


Yeah, that. lol

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Aaaaaannnnnd the stomach bug is back. My poor sick duck!


Oh no!! Poor Ava 

There's been a really really nasty bug going around here. Knock on wood we haven't gotten it yet, but so many families from my parenting group have, and it seems to be lasting an avergae of like 4-5 days of heavy puking, diahrrea, keeping almost nothing down to the point of listlessness. One of the mamas is at the point of going in to get an IV for her two year old. And it's just spreading like wildfire. I've never known this many people -this- sick at the same time!

Long day today. The leader of the babywearing meeting couldn't come because her son was one of the sickies. So another mama and I "led" the meeting, which then breaks off really quickly into basically everyone being like 'Heelp heeelp help me helppppp!" lol. I helped people with Bobas/Ergos/Becos for three hours barely stopping to take a breath. At one point I looked over and Tenley was gone, and I found her AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS! Kind of like "oops, I climbed up here, but now I don't know how to get back down to mama..." She was wlaking around the landing basically talking to herself. SMH!!

Oh, but she's SUCH a big girl now! She was the oldest of the 'babies' there, at 15 months, and oldest after her was 2 years old, and next was 3.5 and then a couple 4 and 5 year olds. She wanted to play with them, but then kept walking over to the babies and getting smiles on her face, and reaching out to pet them, and then squealing with delight and being so happy with herself for being gentle. There were about a dozen babies ranging from 3 weeks to 5 months, and then a few between 6-9 months. She was in love! lol I told her if she starts sleeping through the night, she can have a baby. lol


----------



## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

^^Oh and I got sidetracked. Long day, but the point of that, was that it was SO NICE to feel like I'd helped so many people be able to carry their babies more. Several people that were trying SSCs that had only used a snugli, or most of them had only used a stretchy wrap, and they were like OH! ohhh! It feels SO good! I could wear this for hours! <3 *heart swells* People were leaving there SO excited to go home and buy their own carriers. Love it! Very fulfilling.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I guess it just kind of surprises me that Nora is wanting to have these serious conversations already. I don't think anything like that has come up with E, much less K, yet. I would expect more like what lyterae described. The child asks a quick question, you give a simple answer, and she runs off to play. It surprises me that a 4 year old would be so serious or philosophical but maybe I'm reading more into it than what is really happening.


No you really aren't. She's seriously having these deep thoughts and wanting to discuss them. It's like little adult conversations. She keeps digging and wanting more info and then gives me her own opinions on things.

You're right she's in private school. I see what you're saying about public doing anything holiday related. I never thought about it that way IRT secular celebrations. Hmm. Food for thought.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> I don't think it's something you're 'obligated' to explain at all. That said, it might be helpful for her to see it from an 'outside' view almost. Like- this is what we celebrate. Some people believe this story that .... etc etc. We don't believe that, but that's why some people celebrate this holiday. Here in our house we do --- eggs, and a bunny etc. You could also go over some of the Pagan traditions too, which might help explain more about how some of the symbolism ties together, but I'd take your cue from her and see what she's interested in hearing. For her, it might be ok to just say "Some people who are christians celebrate Easter as the day when they believe Jesus (died/rose from the dead/etc however you think you can explain it without freaking her out). We don't believe that, but it's a really fun day to celebrate spring and new life, and have the easter bunny bring us treats!" And that might be all she needs, end of story, for another year, or two years or so. You're not withholding information if you do that, you're just waiting for her to come to you with the questions before you confuse her with information she's not ready for yet.
> 
> She was in love! lol I told her if she starts sleeping through the night, she can have a baby. lol


I understand what you're saying. I think I agree. I'm going to stew on it.

and hahah! True that!! ;-)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> ^^Oh and I got sidetracked. Long day, but the point of that, was that it was SO NICE to feel like I'd helped so many people be able to carry their babies more. Several people that were trying SSCs that had only used a snugli, or most of them had only used a stretchy wrap, and they were like OH! ohhh! It feels SO good! I could wear this for hours! <3 *heart swells* People were leaving there SO excited to go home and buy their own carriers. Love it! Very fulfilling.


It's so nice to spread the SCC love isn't it?!?

AFM- I'm still not used to Finn's haircut! He looks like such a little boy now, and he's even acting differently which is prob just coincidence but MAN. Just in the past week or so he's started having real tantrums and talking more than he was even last week. It's like a switch flipped. When he's in the throes of being pissed he WON'T SIGN. Idk what to make of it but wasn't that part of the point of teaching sign?! It's like he just starts screaming and demanding something but idk what (at this point I don't even know if he's hungry, tired, wants the blue car not the green one) so I start asking him with signs, "eat?" "drink?" "milk?" and he just gets madder and madder! UGH.

Also within the past week and a half/two weeks N started using the potty entirely by herself, no company, no help (tho we did stop letting her lock the door behind her, lol). Then suddenly she had symptoms of a uti. Sigh. I wanted to see if her body could fight it, but after almost a week (and a call from her concerned teacher) she's on abx. She's feeling better already and we've had more talks about correct bathroom use. She's also, ahem, exploring her body more in private so we are having to talk about clean hands, etc.

When did she grow up? Sigh. Def wasn't ready for all this heavy stuff!


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> No you really aren't. She's seriously having these deep thoughts and wanting to discuss them. It's like little adult conversations. She keeps digging and wanting more info and then gives me her own opinions on things.


Wow! such a seriously deep thinker. i don't think i've ever had conversations like that with my young kids. death isn't even on their radar, really.

D is driving me crazy! E woke him up early from his nap and he hasn't gotten off me since. that was 4 hours ago. virtually non-stop nursing. i am not exaggerating.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh no I hope today has been better!

I'm kind of tired of this hormone ride. I'm thinking about trying that pill that gives you 4 periods a year. I can always stop taking it if I feel off. But b/w the PMS mood swings, AF, and O, I'm not a good mom or wife right now. Sigh. I talked to chris about it and I'm going to stew on it a bit and see how I feel. I never thought I would consider hormone bc again.


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> suddenly she had symptoms of a uti. Sigh. I wanted to see if her body could fight it, but after almost a week (and a call from her concerned teacher) she's on abx. She's feeling better already and we've had more talks about correct bathroom use.


What were her symptoms? I've only ever had one and that was as an adult so I'm not sure what that would look like in a child.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> D is driving me crazy! E woke him up early from his nap and he hasn't gotten off me since. that was 4 hours ago. virtually non-stop nursing. i am not exaggerating.


Ava has been wanting more milk the past couple of days since she hasn't been feeling well. But I don't have enough to give it to her whenever she asks.







And she says it in the most pitiful voice "Bottle. Bottle!" I just remind her that bottles are for sleeping times. I'm trying to increase my pumping times again to hopefully get some more milk for her. She must need it and she won't drink cow's milk. Do you think Dylan is just comfort nursing or he's actually getting/needs milk?

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I'm kind of tired of this hormone ride. I'm thinking about trying that pill that gives you 4 periods a year. I can always stop taking it if I feel off. But b/w the PMS mood swings, AF, and O, I'm not a good mom or wife right now. Sigh. I talked to chris about it and I'm going to stew on it a bit and see how I feel. I never thought I would consider hormone bc again.


Have you considered taking a mild anti-depressant instead of hormones?


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh poor Ava.









Actually I want it for the pregnancy prevention, too. But you're right. I will def think about that option - I didn't know that an antidepressant could help with pms and all that. I don't feel depressed/anxious. Just really bitchy/moody/angry!

So. I have 2 good friends nursing older (2.5 and 3.5) kids. They are making me nervous. One in particular is practically warning me that it's awful. But both these mamas are tandem nursing. I know there is something else at play but she won't admit to that. She keep saying it's his age, it's the age. It's awful don't do it. Sigh. So I'm getting a little nervous. I keep telling her that I won't have new baby milk so I just think it'll be different, and I want to see how it goes. Idk. I don't know anyone else besides mamas on MDC who are nothing but encouraging and say the complete opposite. I think nursing will naturally get less and less, not ramp back up right when he's 2.5 b/c there's a new baby. Does that make sense? Am I being naive?


----------



## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Oh poor Ava.
> 
> ...


I would be hesitant to add hormones to the mix but that's mostly because for me, hormones make my PMS symptoms worse.

I would think that the nursing sessions would decrease as he gets older and the milk goes away. Before Ava got the first round of stomach bug, she had almost completely stopped with bottles. Then she got sick and all she wanted was mama milk and now she asks for it a lot. But definitely doesn't want cow's milk or almond milk.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

That's what I think too! I just have no idea what to expect. I've only heard such good things, tantrum tamer, etc. She fires back that she can't possibly nurse every tantrum. It's so often. I'm like scratching my head!

Oh, I forgot to elaborate on Nora's UTI. She was running to the potty frequently. At one point it was every 10 min, and usually nothing but a drip would come out, sometimes nothing at all. I was worried but she said it didn't burn or hurt, and that's what I associate with an infection. The next day she seemed fine so I thought maybe it was b/c we'd been stuck home all day and she was bored. Then the next day her teacher called me concerned b/c she was asking to go often. So, I did a test strip when she got home and it was blaring positive. Ran her to the dr and they confirmed it. Giving her abx and probiotics b/c man, her toots are room clearers, poor girl.


----------



## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

The seasonale/seasonique brand pills are marketed as the no period no pms pill.

http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/features/new-no-period-no-pms-birth-control-pills


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

You can get home test strips for UTIs? I was worried E had one last week. He started complaining that it tickled when he peed but said it didn't burn or hurt. That when on for 2 or 3 days and then he said it had started to sting. But the next day he said it wasn't bothering him at all anymore. I told him to drink more water and he said he thought that was the problem, he hadn't been drinking enough.









I think D was nursing just for comfort. He was getting some milk, of course, but he didn't need it.


----------



## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I nursed E until he was almost 3 years old and Kellen until he was a little over 3. It wasn't horrible at all. I think by that time they only nursed maybe 3 times a day. I was even able to go away for a weekend when E was 2.5 without incident. DH said he was fine while I was gone and he went right back to nursing when I got back.

I did wean both of them but not because I didn't want to nurse anymore. I weaned E because I was pregnant with K and it hurt when he nursed. I weaned K because I was trying to get pregnant and kept miscarrying. I can imagine tandem nursing would feel overwhelming and like you were doing nothing but nursing. You have the option at any time to wean so I wouldn't worry about it. Do what you want and just wait to see how it feels for you. How long did you nurse Nora?


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

That's kind of how I feel. If it gets overwhelming I'm perfectly ok reevaluting.

Nora nursed until she was 25 months. I did wean her b/c I was having trouble getting pg, idk if you guys remember. It was a gut wrenching decision, even though it was easy and effortless. And she was fine. And I was fine. But this time I want to go longer if we are both happy.

And yes you can get the uti strips at walgreens, near the pg tests and yeast infection treatments!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

I would definitely research those more before taking them. On the drugs.com site for Seasonale, it says not to use it if you are nursing. http://www.drugs.com/seasonale.html


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

It's unfortunate that someone is warning you not to continue nursing. I can understand wanting to talk about it if you are having problems, but do it without purposely trying to discourage others.

I keep forgetting to tell you all that I was expecting







today but she hasn't show yet. I used to always get it first thing in the morning. I am only 13dpo so I have another day or two before I need to re-evaluate my chart. No chance of being pg, though.









My Ovulation Chart


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Only b/c it can affect your supply tho. And if I see that happening I can just stop taking it. Not like an IUD or something that I would need to have removed you know?


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Maybe they are just being overly cautious but here's what I saw "The hormones in Seasonale can pass into breast milk and may harm a nursing baby. This medication may also slow breast milk production. Do not use if you are breast feeding a baby." That would make me uncomfortable to take. IDK, I also have moral issues with hormonal birth control so I should probably stop weighing in.

Ava is still vomiting. So this round started Thursday night. Ugh. DH called and got more zofran for her and her pedi's office wants to see her tomorrow morning. At 8:30 AM! Gah! I was like "ummm, Ava isn't usually awake at that time?" but the receptionist didn't care. At least it's with her regular pedi.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I sure hope Ava is ok.

I would avoid any medication that specifically says do not use. Usually, it just says consult a doctor or pharmacist before taking unless they have actual scientific indications that it could be dangerous.

I don't have moral issues with hormonal bc but I do have healthy and safety issues. But, that's probably hypocritical since I take an antidepressant.









Do any of you have Dr. Hale's book or access to his website? I bought the app for my phone so I could use it on the spot at the doctor or pharmacy but it has never worked. Pissed me off because it cost $30.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Do any of you have Dr. Hale's book or access to his website? I bought the app for my phone so I could use it on the spot at the doctor or pharmacy but it has never worked. Pissed me off because it cost $30.


I don't but I'd be curious to get his opinion on those types of contraceptives. Stinks that your app never worked.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

I'm trying to catch up today and my brain is just fuzzy! First shift back after over a week off.

Poor Ava  She can't seem to kick this!

I'm pretty against hormonal BC, but I think if I was feeling like you, I'd considering looking into it too. It's worth some risk and re-evaluating opinions if you feel like the hormonal moodiness etc is ruining your life otherwise.

*yawn* Such a busy night tonight at work, and I barely stopped rushing all night. Got home just after midnight, and have been just relaxing and decompressing. It's 1:30am now and I just feel ready to head to bed. Blach. Ten will be up in five hours. My needs naps tomorrow! lol


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh my yes that is definitely a warning I'd rather look into first. I do think most of those warnings are for little babies who are ebf, not toddlers who are nursing infrequently, but still, not a decision I am making lightly. I still need to stew on it and think about. I mean, another year or so is nothing in the grand scheme of things if I just wait until he is done nursing.

We NEED nicer weather. We are so cooped up and the kids TV time is out of control. I'm going to try hard to keep it just to music as much as I can today and tomorrow. More snow forecasted for today and rain tomorrow. OMG this mama is going INSANE.

Chris and I had a rough weekend. Lots of bickering and not much else. He did get painting done tho, which is great. Every step towards moving helps. Today he flies out to Pittsburgh until tmw night.

Kat - check in if you can! want to hear how everything is going! nursing, babys weight, how everyone is feeling, how norah is handling big sisterhood! eeeek! love to all!!

I need more coffee.

Oh and the hamster goes back today. OMG clearly N is not ready for a small pet. Sheesh! Probably the biggest stress of the weekend was the fact she kept opening the cage w/o permission, and w/o us present. I explained multiple times that with the cats she just can't take the hamster out. It's not safe. But. It really didn't matter, she does what she wants. She's even telling us that when I was out on Sat at the party, she took Lily out and when she ran away she caught her and put her back in. Idk if she's telling the truth. She's starting to tell lies and made up stories and stuff, so Idk what actually happened. If she really did that, tho, while I'm mad she didn't listen, I'm proud she didn't freak out and open the door and come get Chris or something and lose the hamster. She handled it on her own.

But I still don't know if it actually happened!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Cut Tenley's bangs as they've been disgusting in her eyes and we can't keep clips in. It didn't go so well :/ robs gonna be pissed, even though he told me to do it.

I feel sick to my stomach. Lol poor baby


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

The only hormonal bc that's ok while nursing is progestin only. It's the estrogen that screws up BF'ing and can pass into mama milk. You may want to ask about the anti depressants too; I've a friend that is on them specifcally for the hormonal fluctuation issues she has and she says they've really helped (they've also helped her lose weight, as she's not stress and emotional eating anymore - but IDK if that's a trigger for you). she's also on hormonal bc, but she was having the moodiness and anger issues even with that. Obviously, that is not scientific evidence, but it's the best anecdotal stuff I have.

BTW - I am pretty sure any hormonal bc can be written so that you only get periods 4x a year, it's not just seasonale (it's just the only one marketed that way). You just keep taking the active pills and only do placebos one week out of twelve.

I'm not really for caged pets. Unless they can be safely out of a cage too some way, it's just a lot of temptation, and smell . . . I like my pets loose and free. Except for fish. We want to get the kids a fish tank at some point.

As for the lying . . . I would tend to err on the side of believing her, and treating what she says is truth. And acting on whatever she says. It's hard to say at this age if it is something malicious or if she's making up stories just to play pretend and what not, which is harmless usually and nothing bad is meant by it. I think by treating what she's telling you as truth all the time, you are showing you are respecting her, but eventually she will tell you something that has a negative consequence and she'll realize she'd be better off sticking with the truth.

JJ: Tenley's bangs with grow! I feel like I should trim Norah's scraggly bits, but I don't have the heart to.

AFU: nursing, babys weight, how everyone is feeling, how norah is handling big sisterhood! eeeek! love to all!!

Nursing is going well. Theo is the best of both his siblings. He eats like Norah and sleeps like Gabe. He was a quick study, loves to eat, but sleeps for 3-4 hour stretches between, with some wake up alert time during his hour long cluster feeding sessions.

I'll weigh him again today after his first spongebath. Our routine with new ones is once a week baths. I'll get pics.

We are all well. Easiest recovery by far, except for stupid hemroids. I'm getting plenty of sleep, a little sore still down there, but my bleeding has eased up alot already. I don't think I'll have 4 weeks of lochia like I did with the first 2. I'm offically down to pre-pregnancy weight! which is fantastic, and means I'll probably end up a good 5-10 lbs below this when my weight settles. Then I'll focus on actually losing weight once Theo is at least 3 months old. I am grateful for any initial weightloss but I don't try for it.

Norah doesn't interact much with Theo. Gabe does. He is loving having a litle brother. Likes to hold him and try to help me nurse. looks at him when he's awake. Today he picked him up out of the rock n play sleeper when he woke up crying and carried him to me. Scared me a little, but Gabe was so proud of himself for helping, that I couldn't be mad. We are in cloth diapers today bc my disposable stash is running out quickly. I don't mind at all, it's just an adjustment, as I've never really done a newborn in cloth before. Norah I had a ton of disposable diapers, and only did cloth for cuteness 

Oh - and I'm getting at least 2 out of 3 to nap at one time, and that is awesome. Long may that last.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Holy crap he carried him! Ha I would have had a conniption inside my head while trying to stay calm on the outside!! So glad everything seems to be going well. He's so cute. So so so cute!

That's a good point about the innocent type lies. I'll keep that in mind.

JJ - Uh oh about the bangs. :-( Are you heartbroken? Hey I saw your post about your hair...it doesn't look bad but it def isn't what you asked for. It looks like the base color didn't take or something, and she was just too safe with the highlights. She did them very fine instead of chunky. It's an easy fix if you go back in 4-6 weeks for a touch up.

I'm going in for highlights soon. I'm not handling having grays well at all.









L - how is Ava doing? How are you doing after the tooth extraction?

AFM I messaged B about M's messages. They are the two moms who are tandem nursing. I clued her in to her hard times and she was really helpful, and sent her some support and good links and I think it might help her. She told me not to worry about her comments about warning me to wean. She said it's just a very very intense time the first few months/year of tandem and that although she's thinking she's helping me, she doesn't realize how wrong it is to tell any mom to wean. So. That was good. Relief.

No snow yet. Ha. GOOD.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I also wanted to say I've skipped periods by doing that with normal pills before, I did it for my wedding/honeymoon even. These pills are different, I was reading. They are much lower dose. Idk. I'm still reading. I know the pill KILLS my libido and usually makes me gain weight, so I'm just not sure what to do anymore.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> Cut Tenley's bangs as they've been disgusting in her eyes and we can't keep clips in. It didn't go so well :/ robs gonna be pissed, even though he told me to do it.
> 
> I feel sick to my stomach. Lol poor baby


Oh no! Ava's hair was pretty shaggy there for a while and I thought I was going to have to cut it but I hated the process when the big girls were growing out their bangs so I'm trying to avoid cutting bangs at all costs! It will grow though mama. Hugs!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> We are all well. Easiest recovery by far, except for stupid hemroids. I'm getting plenty of sleep, a little sore still down there, but my bleeding has eased up alot already. I don't think I'll have 4 weeks of lochia like I did with the first 2. I'm offically down to pre-pregnancy weight! which is fantastic, and means I'll probably end up a good 5-10 lbs below this when my weight settles. Then I'll focus on actually losing weight once Theo is at least 3 months old. I am grateful for any initial weightloss but I don't try for it.
> 
> ...


Glad to hear that things are going so well! I'd totally freak if I had seen Gabe carrying Theo...hahaha! I so hope the communal nap time continues, at least for your sake!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> L - how is Ava doing? How are you doing after the tooth extraction?


Took her to the dr this morning. She's down 2 lbs.







 She does not have any extra to spare so now I'm researching ways to get more calories in her. She likes ice cream but doesn't like yogurt so I guess I'm just going to have DH give her ice cream every night after dinner. I already drench her pasta in EVOO, cover everything in butter. She doesn't like PB and I don't think I could get her to eat spoonfuls of coconut oil. Any ideas? Good news is though she hasn't vomited since last night but she has zofran on board.

My mouth feels better. Friday was rough mostly because Ava was so clingy and didn't want anyone else to do anything for her. My mom stayed with her while I went to the dentist and then stuck around to try to help after I got home. Ava would have none of it. She didn't want me laying down in the bed or even laying down on the sofa. She wanted me sitting up on the floor with her or up moving around. It was rough. It gave me a glimpse in to what would happen if I had a second.









Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> I also wanted to say I've skipped periods by doing that with normal pills before, I did it for my wedding/honeymoon even. These pills are different, I was reading. They are much lower dose. Idk. I'm still reading. I know the pill KILLS my libido and usually makes me gain weight, so I'm just not sure what to do anymore.


I would definitely look in to other meds or ways of softening your moods. Hormonal BC killed my libido too and I would hate to go back to that place.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Here's something on combination oral contraceptives in general. http://toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/cgi-bin/sis/search/f?./temp/~HI8nr1:1
Quote:


> After 6 months postpartum, combination contraceptives, including oral tablets, the transdermal patch and vaginal ring, can be used, but progestin-only methods are preferred if breastfeeding will be continued.


Both Seasonale and Seasonique contain ethinyl estradiol (an estrogen) and levonorgestrel (a progestin). They are synthetic, not natural.

Levonorgestrel alone: http://toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/cgi-bin/sis/search/f?./temp/~fpO6Qn:2

I wouldn't take that long term because it completely disrupts the natural fluctuations of hormones. That's what the Norplant is, which is what I had after I had Ryan and what I think contributed to my fertility problems later. It's not available in the US anymore. Even if you did a withdrawal every 3 months to have a period, your body wouldn't have enough time to start making sufficient levels of estrogen again.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh crap neither of those links worked for me. I'm already feeling totally normal and fine -- AF is almost over, so of course I do. I think hormonal bcp is just crazy, and I know I don't *want* to be on it, but we all do things we don't want to do...and don't feel is the best/healthiest/etc all the time. I just have to think about what that means for me. I have time. I'm not in a rush, like I said. Maybe it's an option for me after Finn weans.

Chris didn't make it to pittsburgh. Flight was cancelled while it was on the runway, they came back to the gate and deplaned. His brother picked him up, he got home super late (early?). Nora woke up with a fever and I was up with her for about an hour and a half, then Finn woke at 4 am calling MAMA! MAMA! even tho Chris was in bed with him. Sigh. He threw a fit and I couldn't calm him, so i tried nursing him and was faced with a dilemma.

Do you nurse when they are throwing a fit for nursing? Is that rewarding the tantrum the same way if they want a cookie and they throw a fit, you give them a cookie? You know what I mean? I felt like he should ask for it nicely or something. But he's still too young to get that right? He wants boob, it's a need, not a want. Right? I'm right. I just need to trust my own instincts.

Right?

Nora's still sick. Fever but no other symptoms. She's not herself. it's sad.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

It's a need, I'd give in as long as he wasn't hurting you, like throwing or hitting, bc those behaviors aren't ok, no matter what.
Poor Nora! Feel better!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

kgm,,fin hfjrijbbtjtbjtghnvhbji nmmmg kkkfnn

nora

mom

johbjghf n jn fhdfghgjfjbgnrknt







mcnwj55747x bb cgffgckgu52qgfdyg


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I agree with Kat.

Those links didn't work for me, either. It said my search had expired. I just googled birth control and breastfeeding, I think. Maybe you could go to that url and type in the search parameters. There was a lot of info on the levonogestrel by itself that I just skimmed. There didn't seem to be any concerns about that and breastfeeding. I don't know if you can get that as a script to take for 3 months or it just comes in 3 week packs. Like I said, my concern would be taking progesterone for an extended period.

Hormones work on a feedback or cyclic system. The body produces the hormone until it reaches a threshold and then stops production. When the level drops to another threshold, the body is triggered to make more. It's slightly different with estrogen and progesterone because they are produced by the maturing egg and then the corpus luteum left from the mature egg, but it's essentially the same concept. Taking progesterone continuously would tell the body to not make estrogen because it would stop egg maturation. I don't think anyone knows what effect how long term estrogen depletion would have. Or, maybe they do. It's called menopause.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Haha! Looks like Nora was practicing her typing!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Oh geez this girl! LOL!









She always gives herself away by writing her name!

Surprised we all slept thru the night last night. Pleasantly surprised! Nora has no fever this am. Fxed this is over? Idk...we'll see if anyone else gets hit with it.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Do you nurse when they are throwing a fit for nursing? Is that rewarding the tantrum the same way if they want a cookie and they throw a fit, you give them a cookie? You know what I mean? I felt like he should ask for it nicely or something. But he's still too young to get that right? He wants boob, it's a need, not a want. Right? I'm right. I just need to trust my own instincts.
> 
> Right?


I don't here, but that's more a personal issue. I can't nurse her when she's throwing a fit, it makes me so angry and bitter to be nursing and I don't ever want nursing to be a bitter thing for us. So I calm her in other ways and then the second she calms down, I'll pop her on before she starts enough again. But I can't pop her on mid-freakout. BUT-- like you said-- trust your instincts! Go with what feels right to -you- in that case.

I don't know what happened, but I woke up yesterday feeling incredibly sore and like I'd been beaten up all over. It progressed throughout the day, and by evening I was in so much pain I felt like I'd been literally beaten and left for dead. Turning my head causes flashes of pain, walking, moving my back at all. Even my toes feel like they're broken. I need two hands to pick up the freaking container of hot chocolate. No idea what it is. Other than feeling a bit hot, I feel fine other than this pain. Poor Ten, I'm so useless. I have a feeling the tv isn't turning off today. I can't even pick her up without having to brace myself and swear under my breath.

Noras typing is so cute!! Crossing my fingers for you guys!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

oh man that sounds like a fever or flu. any other symptoms? Yikes! I hope it passes or you figure out what it is!


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Definitely some kind of flu. Steadily has been getting worse all day, and although I was symptom free earlier, I've since added on nausea, and a fever of almost 102. Slept/passed out on the couch almost all day, and then DH came home and I've been in bed since 4pm. About to go have a bath and then back to bed.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Friend of mines little boy has something similar. Per tests, it's flu type b. hope you get feeling better soon!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Sounds awful, JJ. Hope you get better soon!

I got







overnight the day after I expected it. Another relatively short, straight forward cycle for me.









Is anyone else charting?


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I hope you feel better soon JJ! Flu comes on suddenly. That's probably what it is. Bummer.

I am charting! Going to try to temp this cycle, actually. AF just ended. Hooray for normal clear cycles!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

JJ, how are you doing today? Any better?

MW, I have been charting my CF since I got my AF back at 6w PP. I have not resumed temping mostly because I wasn't getting 3 consecutive hrs of sleep but the last two nights, Ava hasn't woken up for a bottle after I come to bed around 1:30 AM so I'm getting about 6 hours of sleep. If she keeps that up, I will start temping again.

AFM, the vomiting returned. I seriously am at a loss for what is going on other than viral. I don't think it's just vomiting for no reason. She was sluggish, irritable and definitely out of sorts and appearing to fight something off. I was concerned that maybe she had a UTI that was causing the vomiting but she doesn't have a fever. The nurse said probably not but I'm still not convinced. Maybe I should buy some of those OTC test strips.

I'm so excited about that Elmo plane I found on CL. One of the buttons doesn't work but I got it for $15 and it retails for $40 so I'm happy with it. And Ava LOVES it. She's been wanting to play outside more so I think she will enjoy having that to ride.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

I feel like Ava has been throwing up on and off for a month! Poor girl. It can't hurt to test her urine. Nora didn't have a fever with her UTI. I didn't know it could cause vomiting tho. Poor duck. I hope it runs its course and gets the hell out of dodge SOON.

I'm so glad you found that elmo ride on! Super awesome!! Glad your weather is getting nicer. Can't wait for that to happen up here!

JJ - check in! hope you are feeling at least a little better by now.

kat - baby pics please!!

It's my birthday today. I think I'll run to the store with the kids and get some stuff tol bake a cake/cupcakes. That's always fun to do together, and then we get a treat too. And I'll pick up the few things I need to make chana masala for dinner. I think I only need an onion and coriander.

I'm kind of bummed about my bday this year, I think i'm just feeling a bit ... old. I'm not handling my gray hair well and I guess it's just a visual reminder of my own mortality. Blah. I'm going to try to ignore my depressing feelings and just be happy I'm here.

anyone have fun weekend plans?


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> AFM, the vomiting returned. I seriously am at a loss for what is going on other than viral. I don't think it's just vomiting for no reason. She was sluggish, irritable and definitely out of sorts and appearing to fight something off. I was concerned that maybe she had a UTI that was causing the vomiting but she doesn't have a fever. The nurse said probably not but I'm still not convinced. Maybe I should buy some of those OTC test strips.
> 
> I'm so excited about that Elmo plane I found on CL. One of the buttons doesn't work but I got it for $15 and it retails for $40 so I'm happy with it. And Ava LOVES it. She's been wanting to play outside more so I think she will enjoy having that to ride.


Oh Ava  My niece habitually throws up several times a week for no apparent reason, though she does seem sluggish and irritable like you said, and seems to be retaining a bit more weight than would be normal for her body type and diet (they practically eat raw, with small "treats" of pasta and bread type stuff), and she was developing quite a gut. Ash went to see her Dr and they've determined it's actually because she's constipated. EVen though she's pooping, it's always pretty loose, and so the dr said she's almost certain her bowels are full with harder older poop that the new stuff can barely get around. And then basically she's getting so backed up (even though she appears to be pooping regularly), that it's making her body sick with the old waste product and the new stuff having nowhere to go, so she throws up. They're working on some diet changes right now, but I know Ash is so heartbroken watching her obviously is discomfort, and having no quick solution. Not saying that this is what's happening with Ava, but just hugs, because Leni is older and I've seen how hard it has been for Ash, so i can only imagine how stressful it must be for you, with Ava being both younger and having more health concerns.

That ride on looks fabulous, and she looked so thrilled!! PS I finally got a chance to go back and watch her running video last night, and Ten came running over, and giggled hysterically throughout the whole video and then made me play it again.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> JJ - check in! hope you are feeling at least a little better by now.
> 
> ...


Yesterday I felt very marginally better, didn't sleep most of the day, only part of it. Could walk around a bit more, without wanting to cry. I managed to get in the shower which felt sooo nice, and would stay in there all day if the hot water would last. But I was able to find semi-comfortable sitting positions, so at least I could interact with Ten a bit more. On Wednesday I feel like I was barely conscious all day. I'd be lying on the couch in pain, and close my eyes and then realize half hour had passed. It was horrible. So yesterday was better.

I had another massive fever last night around bed time, and then it finally dropped, and I feel a lot better compared to what i did. I'm still wincing everytime I take a step, but not the shooting i want to die pains like I was having. I'm sitting on the couch relatively pain free, just discomfort, and my mind feels a lot clearer. It's still really painful to do any sudden movements though (with a toddler, haha. good luck i know), and if I've been in one position for a while, then moving for the first few minutes afterwards makes me want to cry. And stretching any muscles/tendons feels horrific (ie pointing my toes). I was actually thinking about packing her up and putting her in the Boba or stroller and walking very slow laps around the mall to help it work through, and to stop the muscles from seizing up because that's the part that hurts the most, but then I realized I probably couldn't get us both in/out of the car and drive safely, so that ended that.

ugh so yeah. Still feeling very sick and mopey and sorry for myself. And DH has been working of course, and then he comes home and is like UGH! ALl my hard work cleaning yesterday is ruined (And I'm like what... you tidied... a litttttlllllle bit), but I'm trying to be thankful and not start a fight. Because really what I'm thinking is "Welcome to my life. I clean this shit up everyday and you come home and mess it back up again. You just don't notice how much I do every single freaking day. Umm anyways so yes, the house is atrocious. He did empty, refill and run the dishwasher yesterday, so that helped. We literally had gross rotting food/plates on the counter, stacked all over the place, it was gross. I can't reach down into the dishwasher-- squats and bending are still the most painful, so yeah, not happening. But aside from that, I've basically had to let Ten do almost anything she wants, as long as she's not breaking things, so she's been opening all the cupboards and our drawers and pulling -everything- out of her toybox. Normally if I sit down o nthe floor with her and ask her to help clean up, she's really good at cleaning with me- but I can't sit on the floor, so no dice.

As for weekend plans-- crossing my fingers DH doesn't get this, since he was starting to feel yucky last night. And then I'm assuming I'll be good enough by Sat/Sun to be a bit productive, so planning on inviting one of our mothers over to play with Tenley while we clean the house back to some semblance of livable. Exciting huh?

Happy Birthday Hun!! Baking sounds like a plan. I already like baking with Ten and there's still not much she can do, but she still seems to get a kick out of it.

I hear you on the grey, and I'm pretty sure I'm younger than you, but I found a -huge- patch of it near my bangs when Ten was like 6 months old. I spent like a week staring at them in the mirror everytime I passed something remotely reflective. I was just... shocked. Rob's been going grey for several years, but I don't think I'd considered the possibility of it at all! It's hard to see those visual reminders of being old!!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Happy birthday, Carrie!

Mine is Monday so I feel you. I have grey hairs and I seem to be getting more every day. I actually don't mind them, though. I think it's kind of cool. I'm weird that way, I guess. I don't have any plans.

Annie ~ I saw your tag on Facebook. I'm not sure if I'll respond. I find it difficult to make long posts on Facebook. I don't know why.

That's concerning about Ava. Does her doctor have any more ideas of what to do?

JJ ~ Keep resting as much as you can.

Nothing else going on.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Ava has been throwing up or dealing with diarrhea for a month now. I took her to the pedi this evening to talk about a UTI. I wasn't willing to let her cath Ava toget a sample bebecause she's not running a fever. She gave me a specimen cup and I'm going to attempt a midstream catch in the morning. After we left the doctors office, we went to Whole foods for dinner. Ava ate well and then projectile vomited all over the cafe. I just don't understand. I called her pedi and the on call cardiologist after we got home. Her regular pedi is the in office doc tomorrow so I will take her in with the urine. I'm worried that we are going to head down the GI path and any testing they will need to do is so invasive. But we've got to do something. She's down almost 3 lbs. Something is wrong. But what?


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Poor Ava! I wish I had ideas. I hope you get answers soon.

Happy belated birthday Carrie, and early birthday MW.

I wish it wasn't raining. no plans for the day or weekend. Boring people, us. Probably should focus on cleaning and organizing.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

She's mostly throwing up what she only just ate? That's more of a regurgitation than a vomit, I think. Hmm. What can cause it? So odd. I hope you get answers soon. Poor baby, and poor mama. I'd be so worried.

My bday was good. Actually it was awful but it's over now so I'm just going to move on! LOL. The kids were in rare form, the cat took a crap all over the place b/c DH didn't do the litter box for over a week it looked like. But I did have wine and my cake came out wonderfully and the end of the night was terrific. It was just a really trying day overall!

I'm hopefully going out tonight with my girlfriends but finn woke up with The Fever so I'm not sure what's going to happen. I desperately need a break but I know how he is when he's sick...so...


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> She's mostly throwing up what she only just ate? That's more of a regurgitation than a vomit, I think. Hmm. What can cause it?


When I was about 25 I had a problem where I couldn't swallow and anything I ate after 2 or 3 bites was regurgitated back up. It was very strange. A doctor told me it was probably an infection that caused the muscles in my throat to get out of sync so that I couldn't swallow properly. I can't remember now if it was supposed to be bacterial or viral. It turned out I didn't have an infection. It was just nerves because Ryan was staying away from me with my mother for the first time.







I was fine as soon as Ryan came home. But, maybe something like that is going on with Ava.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Carrie, I hope you get your night out!

as requested - pic of Theo - not on FB, because I'm picky about the boob shots I post there, LOL.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Ok so I was able to get a midstream urine catch. I explained to Ava beforehand what I was going to be doing and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "Noooo." But it worked. So we saw her pedi and he said there were no white blood cells present but nitrites and bacteria so calling it a UTI and treating it with abx. If the vomiting goes away and stays away, we will assume this second round was from the UTI. It the vomiting sticks around, we're going to have to get a GI involved and start looking at Celiac's, H.pylori, etc.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Ok so I was able to get a midstream urine catch. I explained to Ava beforehand what I was going to be doing and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "Noooo." But it worked.


Bahahaha! I can only imagine! esp since shes such a perceptive little girl. "Uhhh mama, you crazy!"


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

So sweet, Kat!









Annie ~ I hope you figure it out and this clears it up.

Did I tell you that I think I figured out what was causing Dylan's diaper rash? It was the powder Charlie's soap. I stopped using that and used Dr. Bronner's soap and the rash went away. When I used it again for just one wash, the rash came back. Now I've been using liquid Charlie's soap again and no rash. I think maybe it's a problem with the powder and the HE washer.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> So sweet, Kat!
> 
> ...


Interesting. I've always heard that powder is better than liquid for cloth dipes but maybe that's not true in a HE washer?

One of Ava's pedis called this morning and bacteria, e.coli specifically, grew on the culture so she said she's happy we went ahead and started the abx. With her explosive poops from the stomach bug, I'm not surprised that she got one. The poo would go everywhere if she had a diaper on. I just hope that the vomiting stops. She hasn't vomited since Friday night but we've kept zofran on board whenever she starts acting like she's nauseated. She didn't sleep well last night but I think she was waking herself up when she would pee because she would cry out like she was in pain.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> Interesting. I've always heard that powder is better than liquid for cloth dipes but maybe that's not true in a HE washer?
> 
> One of Ava's pedis called this morning and bacteria, e.coli specifically, grew on the culture so she said she's happy we went ahead and started the abx. With her explosive poops from the stomach bug, I'm not surprised that she got one. The poo would go everywhere if she had a diaper on. I just hope that the vomiting stops. She hasn't vomited since Friday night but we've kept zofran on board whenever she starts acting like she's nauseated. She didn't sleep well last night but I think she was waking herself up when she would pee because she would cry out like she was in pain.


That's good about the rash! I think generally powder is better, but with a front load HE, I can see how it would be different! We've got a low end top load, so totally other end of the spectrum!

Oh Ava!  Hopefully the antibiotics kick in quickly. I can't imagine.

I feel back to about 90% today. SOO much better. I don't have any planned shifts this week at work, so trying to fill up with playdates and outings to make up for Tenley's wash of a week last week. So far we've got playing at the YMCA structure and gym with my cousin and her girls on Monday ($4 admission), Tuesday nothing planned, Wednesday afternoon my BFF is coming over to go through maternity clothing to borrow and maybe looking at some newborn stuff too, so that's free, but will be fun to see her. Thursday we're going to the Zoo with my cousin and girls, which is free too since we have a membership, and then Friday is Easter at my father's house, so we'll head out there around 2pmish probably. So... a whole weeks worth of activities for just gas and $4. Not bad! I'm so stir crazy to get out of the house, so it'll be nice!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *onetwoten*
> 
> That's good about the rash! I think generally powder is better, but with a front load HE, I can see how it would be different! We've got a low end top load, so totally other end of the spectrum!
> 
> ...


I adore free or next to free activities! Although Ava has been enjoying just going out on our street and stalking neighbors so I'm having a hard time getting her in the car to go anywhere. Saves gas money, I guess! We are getting snow here right now and that shuts everything down so we'll probably be homebound tomorrow. I took Wed and Thurs as vacation days. I neeeeeeeed to get some decluttering done in my house. This past month of Ava being sick has really taken it's toll on my already tenuous hold on keeping any sort of order in my house. So I'm going to do some stuff in the kids' rooms after she goes to bed those nights. And maybe wake up early and do stuff before she gets up. We'll see about that part.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I sure hope the abx help Ava feel better. That's for an UTI, right, but not the cause of the vomiting?

I didn't know that powder detergents were supposed to be better. Do you all know why that is?

I've never liked them much. I've had trouble with powder dissolving completely in old top loaders so I always used liquid. I originally used liquid Charlie's soap without problems, which is why it took me so long to think the laundry soap could be causing the problem. I assumed the lower water volume of the HE front loader made it even less likely that the powder soap would dissolve and be rinsed away. IDK.









Free and close to home always works better for me.

DH is coming home tomorrow night, two days early. He apologized that he still wouldn't be home until late. It took me a minute to figure out why he was apologizing. It's my birthday but he won't be home early enough to do anything. I really don't mind.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I sure hope the abx help Ava feel better. That's for an UTI, right, but not the cause of the vomiting?

I didn't know that powder detergents were supposed to be better. Do you all know why that is?

I've never liked them much. I've had trouble with powder dissolving completely in old top loaders so I always used liquid. I originally used liquid Charlie's soap without problems, which is why it took me so long to think the laundry soap could be causing the problem. I assumed the lower water volume of the HE front loader made it even less likely that the powder soap would dissolve and be rinsed away. IDK.









Free and close to home always works better for me.

DH is coming home tomorrow night, two days early. He apologized that he still wouldn't be home until late. It took me a minute to figure out why he was apologizing. It's my birthday but he won't be home early enough to do anything. I really don't mind.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I sure hope the abx help Ava feel better. That's for an UTI, right, but not the cause of the vomiting?

I didn't know that powder detergents were supposed to be better. Do you all know why that is?

I've never liked them much. I've had trouble with powder dissolving completely in old top loaders so I always used liquid. I originally used liquid Charlie's soap without problems, which is why it took me so long to think the laundry soap could be causing the problem. I assumed the lower water volume of the HE front loader made it even less likely that the powder soap would dissolve and be rinsed away. IDK.









Free and close to home always works better for me.

DH is coming home tomorrow night, two days early. He apologized that he still wouldn't be home until late. It took me a minute to figure out why he was apologizing. It's my birthday but he won't be home early enough to do anything. I really don't mind.


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

I'm trying to catch up, but the internet has been SOO slow this week. Currently feel like I'm dying, stupid sinus/flu crud.

I hope that Ava feels better soon. <3


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Have to go back and read other posts still, but I need guidance from you wise ladies.

My mama friend who lost her teenage son a month ago, and then gave birth two weeks ago... She has four living children, plus the one she lost, five children. Someone posted on her FB tonight something like "That's a lot for a mother of four to accomplish!" I know she obviously meant -nothing- by it, but right away my stomach lurched. She's NOT a mother of four, she's a mother of five. I just can't stop thinking about it, and how she must have felt when she read that comment. I keep wanting to send her a PM just saying something very simple like "You're a mama of five, and a terrific one." and just leave it at that. But I also don't want to poke my nose in somewhere where it's not my business and just going to make her feel more awkward, kwim? :/ What would you ladies do? All I keep hearing in my mind is a blogger I read's words about how when her son died immediately after birth, it was like people stopped wanting to acknowledge him- he didn't exist. But to her he DID exist. She did have that son, and he mattered. I don't want her to think that her son is already being forgotten, or like he's no longer her son just because he's passed.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Why not post publicly that she's a mother of five? It may make others feel uncomfortable and it may make her cry but, like you said, it's important to acknowledge her dead child.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *AnnieA*
> 
> I adore free or next to free activities! Although Ava has been enjoying just going out on our street and stalking neighbors so I'm having a hard time getting her in the car to go anywhere. Saves gas money, I guess! We are getting snow here right now and that shuts everything down so we'll probably be homebound tomorrow. I took Wed and Thurs as vacation days. I neeeeeeeed to get some decluttering done in my house. This past month of Ava being sick has really taken it's toll on my already tenuous hold on keeping any sort of order in my house. So I'm going to do some stuff in the kids' rooms after she goes to bed those nights. And maybe wake up early and do stuff before she gets up. We'll see about that part.


Oh yes, I can't wait until spring and summer when we can do outside things! There's a school within sight distance of us, that has a huge field, plus two small playgrounds. There's also a park the other direction that's almost always deserted (it's hidden), and it's only about 2 blocks away. And half a block from that second park, is the entrance to a huge 'nature trail' (read: bike/dog walking path", that is nice for shade in the summer. Plus, this will be the first year for the new splash park at our community centre, which is about a 10 minute walk away. Add normal walks just for the heck of it into that, and we'll be set!!

Ugh, our house was bad enough after only a few days. i can't imagine what a month of sickness would do to it! Hopefully you're able to get a lot accomplished!

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> I didn't know that powder detergents were supposed to be better. Do you all know why that is?
> 
> ...


I didn't know, just heard it through other people, so I googled. It looks like some people disagree definitely, but the gist is that there's less additives normally in powder, because of what they have to add to the liquid to get it to stay combined, and that powder rinses better. Also when you're looking at such small quantities, powder is easier to get an accurate measurement out (ie dumping the cup gives you the whole 2 tsps, which is harder to get out of a liquid tsp). Some people say liquids leave more residue in the washer?

That said, I only use powder for the dipes. Our normal detergent is always a liquid. I'm like you, I just somehow feel like it dissolved and spreads better, even if it's a completely inaccurate feeling. lol.

That's sweet that he remembered though, and is making an effort! Did I tell you guys DH totally forgot our anniversary this year? Like forgot forgot. I kept saying "we should go out to dinner on Saturday", and he was meh about it, and then saturday rolled around and he wasnt feeling well, and so I said fine, we didn't have to go out. And then like 3 days later he was like OH! Now I know why you wanted to go out to dinner! Why didn't you say something? I was like ummm wtf? I didn't think I had to... I just assumed you KNEW that's why i wanted to go out to dinner alone!


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

Yes, the abx are for the UTI but her pedi and I are hoping that these last couple of days of vomiting, Wed-Fri, are from the UTI and not something else. We're hoping if we can get rid of the UTI, the vomiting will go away.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

I don't know all the symptoms of an UTI but I do know they can be pretty serious. My FIL had one and didn't know it until he passed out in the shower. That could have been tragic.

Hm...well, I don't know if any of that applies to Charlie's soap. It's not like the laundry detergents that are sold in the stores. One of the things about Charlie's soap is that it is supposed to clean the residue off the washing machine. The directions say to run it through the machine at least once without any clothes to clean the machine. Then it's supposed to get rid of any residue left on clothes from other detergents over the time.









My dh is very good at remembering special dates. One of his top two love languages is gift giving so he always remembers to do something. I just meant that I don't care if he's not home on the actual day to celebrate. We can do something special any time this week. We'll probably just go out to eat, if anything. I'm not into big to-dos for my birthday, anyway.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Yeah we're the same with birthdays. A fantastic birthday to me is sometime in the weeks vicinity to get dinner out and cheesecake, even if it's from the grocery store. lol.


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## AnnieA (Nov 26, 2007)

DH texted me earlier. Ava vomited at the babysitter.







I'm so upset and frustrated. I don't want her to have to through the trauma of a GI work-up. She deserves to have some non-doctor time. I just want to cry. Have a call in to her pedi to see what he suggests.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Oh, no, Annie!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

OH NO! How is Ava now? Oh I'm so sorry for her and for you. But she is strong and she is such a rockstar, she will get thru this! I just know she will come out shining!!

Guys, not to post and run, but these tantrums (finn's) are killing me! What the heck!? He's so miserable!

That and he keeps waking up so early, 5 am most days. Then he's SO crabby b/c he's tired. If he falls asleep at like 8, he won't nap again and the afternoon/evening is a mess. If I hold his nap off then he naps great but the morning is a total wash of him crying and throwing fits.

Ugh it's just been so HARD! Plus with being sick I know he's not feeling great.

Man. Eeeeee- nough!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ What is he getting so upset about and what do you do?

The last time you brought that up I was going to say that D doesn't really have tantrums the way you were describing. But then I started paying attention and I think he does. It's annoying but I don't get overly upset about it (most of the time). Maybe it's a matter of perspective for you. Maybe you're seeing a big problem when it's just normal toddler behavior. A lot of times, the more I react so my kids unwanted behavior, the longer it lasts and the more often it happens. If I just let it flow, it passes more quickly. KWIM?

It's nice having DH home. We talked last night about all of us moving to VA this summer. The plan now is that the kids and I will stay with my mom in May so dh can keep the house clean to show to potential renters. Once/if it's rented, we will come back here until he has to report at the end of July. If it doesn't rent, we will stay here and he'll come home on the weekends. I'm hoping we can get the house rented. He seems to think it will only take a couple of weeks after talking to other people at work who have rented their homes here. I hope he's right.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Oh Lauri! You just cant get a break over there. <3

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> Guys, not to post and run, but these tantrums (finn's) are killing me! What the heck!? He's so miserable!
> 
> ...


*hugs* Ten doesn't do tantrums -yet- but I'm not looking forward to that! She just 'yells' at us, which is hard not to laugh at. She's waking up early too, but not that early thankfully! 630AM is early enough for me! I'm still a zombie until around 8am.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> It's nice having DH home. We talked last night about all of us moving to VA this summer. The plan now is that the kids and I will stay with my mom in May so dh can keep the house clean to show to potential renters. Once/if it's rented, we will come back here until he has to report at the end of July. If it doesn't rent, we will stay here and he'll come home on the weekends. I'm hoping we can get the house rented. He seems to think it will only take a couple of weeks after talking to other people at work who have rented their homes here. I hope he's right.


That sounds like a good plan to try!

Had a good week so far! Did the play structure at the Y on Monday, and then switched the zoo to yesterday since it was super warm. Today my BFF is coming over for a visit and to pick up the maternity clothes. Tomorrow I have off of activities now, but DH is home. And then Friday is easter at my dads.


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *MarineWife*
> 
> Carrie ~ What is he getting so upset about and what do you do?
> 
> The last time you brought that up I was going to say that D doesn't really have tantrums the way you were describing. But then I started paying attention and I think he does. It's annoying but I don't get overly upset about it (most of the time). Maybe it's a matter of perspective for you. Maybe you're seeing a big problem when it's just normal toddler behavior.e he's right.


Well, it's totally normal behavior. Ha. Nothing is "wrong" persay, it's just different and I have to get used to it.

He just gets so mad and upset with me if I do what he doesn't want. I sit him on the couch after we wake up HOW DARE YOU!? Scream, cry, kick. I carry him into the kitchen to make coffee, but I can't do it one handed, here buddy stand here next to me. HOW DARE YOU PUT ME DOWN!? Scream, melt, stomp feet, punch. Ok ok, I'll hold you. Help mommy make coffee, here hold this and push this button. Ok. Calm. Lets go eat. Banana or bagel. Bagel. Ok. Make bagel, lets go sit at the table to eat. Sit kiddo at his seat. I DON'T WANT TO SIT! HOW DARE YOU!? What is this crap? A bagel? *throw it on the floor*. sign milk.

Sigh.

All before 7 am.

Need to find my patience. Need to practice staying calm. Need to reread Happiest Toddler on the Block.

He's also really starting to be anti-chris just like Nora which is lovely. Chris will try to hold him or comfort him and he SCREAMS and pushes him away and it's incredibly frustrating. And Chris...lacks sensitivity. If I have a short fuse, chris has a slow burning fuse, but we explode differently. He'll just snap and shout STOP IT! and put him down and walk away. It's hard! I don't like telling DH what to do b/c I don't always do things right. I try to give him ideas but he sees it as me overstepping or being a dictator. You know?

How strange is this virus that they had tho? 5 days of low fever, 2-3 days of just malaise and really really crabby, then a nosebleed. Right? Strange. Yesterday N woke up with a nosebleed so I expected it today from F and yup. It happened right on schedule. Weird, right?

We went to Wegmans today to get stuff for easter dinner. What are you're plans for easter? We are going to my ILs for dinner. I'm going to make artichokes! I can't wait. I love me some steamed artichokes!! We'll have lasanga as our main dish. Mom is making baked potatoes, asparagus, salad, etc. Oh and I found a recipe for deviled tomatoes that looks really tasty. I haven't had deviled eggs in...hmm...probably 15 years! I wonder how these will compare. The filling is chickpea based but has all the spices that I remember using in deviled eggs. You scoop it into a hollowed out plum tomato half.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> He just gets so mad and upset with me if I do what he doesn't want. I sit him on the couch after we wake up HOW DARE YOU!? Scream, cry, kick. I carry him into the kitchen to make coffee, but I can't do it one handed, here buddy stand here next to me. HOW DARE YOU PUT ME DOWN!? Scream, melt, stomp feet, punch. Ok ok, I'll hold you. Help mommy make coffee, here hold this and push this button. Ok. Calm. Lets go eat. Banana or bagel. Bagel. Ok. Make bagel, lets go sit at the table to eat. Sit kiddo at his seat. I DON'T WANT TO SIT! HOW DARE YOU!?


That sounds exactly like what D does. I set him on a chair right next to me while I get my coffee and sometimes he just cries. I just tell him that I will get him as soon as I'm done making my coffee. I need two hands for that. He has a fit every morning when I go to feed the cats. He wants to feed them, which is fine, but he doesn't understand that he has to stop filling the dishes at some point. And, he can't hang out in the garage. It's not a safe or fun/nice place to play. He doesn't hit or kick me (usually). He screams/cries for a bit and won't let me near him and then he comes running to me and wants to be held. Sometimes I just have to leave him to cry until he's ready to come to me.

The illness with a nosebleed is strange. K has a bloody nose but that's just from picking it.









Those deviled tomatoes sounds yummy. We don't have any special plans for the weekend. DH has Friday off and maybe Monday. The neighbors behind us are having an egg hunt that we've been invited to. They do it every year and E and K have gone ever since they've been old enough.

We haven't gotten anything for baskets yet. One of us needs to get that done before Saturday or nothing will be left.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

Carrie: all that sounds like Norah. Stems entirely from tiredness. She wakes up too soon and isn't happy until she naps. It's not fun but she won't go back to sleep immediately, or I need to get up anyway. No solutions, just commiseration.

Bored here. Need to work up courage to get us all out of the house. One way or another.

Hope Ava is better soon.

Theo us eating roughly every 4 hours. Nice but hard on the boobs.


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

Carrie ~ Do you think maybe you need to get more sleep? If one of my kids was getting me up at 5 am, I'd probably have to go to bed by 8 pm to get enough sleep. I don't think I could function getting up that early.









Kat ~ Good luck and have fun if you get all 3 kids out. It's a daunting task, especially with a newborn. Although, if he's going 4 hours between feedings, it might be doable.

Nothing going on here. I'm trying to get myself motivated to go to another homeschoolers house for a board game day. It's supposed to be park day but everyone decided it's too cold to be outside so they all planned to go to someone's house to play board games. I don't like board games. Plus, I don't like the idea of being inside such a small area with so many kids. It would be only 4 families but we have 15 kids among us.







Why do all homeschooling families seem to have way larger than normal family sizes? You'd think homeschooling would mean less children.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I did get out of the house with just Theo and I this morning - his 2 week-ish appointment (boy has gone from 8 lbs 4 oz to 9 lbs 12 oz in 17 days) - clearly thriving and getting plenty to eat. and the post office and grocery store. That's easy enough, LOL. and the bigger kids will be at MIL tonight through Sunday, so maybe I'll chance doing all three next week.

IDK, I think having more kids probably makes homeschooling more do-able. you can re-use curriculum (if you are using any), have olders help youngers, etc. Makes it seem more like "school" if you are into that. I don't know may that homeschool just one or two - except some families that do the online K12 stuff the state offers.

Norah is back in bed with us part time. Having her and Theo in the bed is not quite the challenge I thought it would be, but when she gets tired of cuddling DH, I end up in a very narrow space with her pressed to my back, and Theo on the front, with me on my side. (not due to lack of actual space, but bc they both want or need to be THAT close.)


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Nice growing Theo!!

Fingers crossed for us guys! We went car shopping today with the intention of just narrowing down what car we want. Ended up finding what we want, but realizing once you add all the extras in, we're looking at probably $4000 more than we were looking at spending (so that's almost 1/4 of our budget!). We were really disappointed. Then we came home and searched around and I found a woman trying to get someone to "take over payments" of her 2013 Focus, which is exactly what we want, but we thought the 2011 or 2012 was a stretch even. Anyways, the purchase price for us would end up being $16,500 (she has $350 a month payments for the next 4 years). We were looking at a 2012 initially, and it ended up being $16,000 min, not counting taxes or extended warranty or any of the "processing fees". So it was looking like we were going to pay a minimum $19k once it was all said and done. Which wasn't happening, because we started with a budget of like $15k.

Anyways, so yes, 2013 Focus, with 1700kms on it. She paid for the extended warranty too. She's got 0% financing, or we could transfer it to our bank too, but it would be at 4% (but we'd get $1250 in points from putting it onto our credit card temporarily...) She bought the car, paying like $7000 cash down on it initially, and now only a couple months later, she had eye surgery and can't drive it anymore. The car is worth like $22k, list price new so getting it for $16,500 with the taxes in and extended warranty on it already, is a steal, considering with 1700kms it's barely been driven.

It just sounds like way too good a deal to be true. Trying to both stay positive AND not get my hopes up at the same time!


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## Baby_Cakes (Jan 14, 2008)

JJ that sounds like a really good deal. Anything fishy about it at all? Otherwise go for it! What color is it?

I'm still undecided about what car I want. I think I want the VW Tiguan but I need to see it in person and drive it. I love that I can get a manual in a bigger car. I love that it has most things I want standard so we don't need to upgrade to a sport package or anything. BUT reviews say the Mazda CX-5 has much more cargo space and that's one of my big "needs". So. We just need to go look!

I think I want a black one, regardless of which.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

JJ that sounds like a great deal! I hope it works out

Carrie: cargo space is important. Get looking!

Busy day today. But all good things, so that's fun. Only Theo at home until Sunday. It's nice being down to just one kid on occasion.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *Baby_Cakes*
> 
> JJ that sounds like a really good deal. Anything fishy about it at all? Otherwise go for it! What color is it?
> 
> ...


The only thing "fishy" is that I think it's an older woman selling it, based on the wording of the ad, and I don't think she'd be deliberately untruthful, but perhaps just doesn't know proper wording etc, or what things she should be listing. The ad for the car was very brief, almost no detail.

Quote:


> "Pictures upon request. New Ford Focus with all the bells and whistles. Take over my payments ($348 includes taxes); purchased with 0% interest. About 1700 km. Can't work and drive, due to eye surgery. Perfect condition. Non-smoker. Female driven."


So... as I said, I'm trying not to get tooooo excited, but it sounds really good. We asked how long was left on the loan and she said 4 years, and that she purchased the extended warranty. She actually just got back to my email as I was typing here, and said that the original purchase price was $26k, and she got a ton of stuff added on because she's been with the delaership for 20 years. It's kind of nice because it's the same dealership we wanted to deal with, and who we visited yesterday. She also sent me an ad to another listing that she said was "just like her car" and that car really does have a TON of options, including things like the eco boost package, and winter package, and a lot more. So if that really is a good representation of her car, than even better. But still, if it's basic standard features, that's still a good deal too.

The car is white, with charcoal seats. Not my favorite, since our malibu is white, and I'd like a different color, but certainly acceptable. My only veto would be for red. I hate red cars, even though my first car was red. lol.

I like black. And cargo space is huge! I never really thought much about it, until I tried to put our babyjogger into the trunk of the saturn we're borrowing. It -barely- fits.

Quote:


> Originally Posted by *akind1*
> 
> JJ that sounds like a great deal! I hope it works out
> 
> ...


It must be nice to have those bits of 'respite' to enjoy just Theo. One of my mama friends sends her kids to her MILs every Saturday, and has a day to herself to do errands or personal things, or dates with hubby. I used to think she was weird for doing that. Now I'm like ohh Tenley, grow up so we can send you overnight somewhere. lol. I totally get how valuable that recharge time can be.


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## akind1 (Jul 16, 2009)

I couldn't do it every weekend. Once or twice a month, that's ok. I feel like weekends should include some family time. And it feels weird to pawn them off more often, like I can't handle them or something. But the occasional break is awesome.

Are you going to meet her about the car?


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## lyterae (Jul 10, 2005)

I think cargo space is super important. We have a Tahoe and I LOVE it, but when we put in the extra seats in the back we have hardly any space for "stuff".

Still sick over here, I finally went to the doctor for meds but the bronchitis is still going strong.


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## onetwoten (Aug 13, 2007)

Yeah I think every week would be too much for me too, but once a month, or once a month and then one day (without sleepovers) would be nice. She's a SAHM, and has an 8 year old, and then a 3 and 4 year old, and now a newborn. So she's got tons of time with the younger ones during the week, and the older is at the age where he doesn't like to spend a lot of time with mama anyways  lol

We're kind of in a holding pattern with the car. We have to wait until the financing department opens on either monday/tuesday before we can get final answers confirming that the pricing is as it seems. We did email her to see if we could set up a time to go see it this weekend though (not that it really will change anything, we sat in an identical car two days ago and already know we love it).

Yeah lyterae. I was looking at Kia Rondos, and some have optional fold down third row seating, which seemed like a great option- but it's obviously super tight, and with the third row up, there's literally no trunk. I'm not even sure you could fit a backpack back there. lol. Of course, it isn't -supposed- to be a cargo vehicle, but still, was a little funny to see!


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## MarineWife (May 1, 2004)

April thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1380826/april-2013-rockstar-mamas-thread


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