# Joining in... [warning, details may be upsetting to some]



## Megan_in_Holland (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi, I'm Megan... Joining what LiamsMommy31905 so aptly named the "club no one wants to be a member of". We just lost our first pregnancy on New Year's Day at 7 weeks, 2 days. What a way to start the new year...







:

It's been a rollercoaster ride these past few days... I started bleeding pretty heavily the Friday after Christmas. Everything was closed for the weekend, so we had to wait till Monday for an ultrasound. It was a horrible, long weekend, during which my bleeding intensified and I started having bad cramps. We started grieving for the loss we were sure was coming. When Monday finally rolled around, we had an ultrasound, and to our shock saw a clear heartbeat on the monitor. Our babe was still alive! We didn't dare get our hopes up, but I was carefully optimistic.

The next evening, on New Year's Day, I suddenly started having horrible, painful cramps that came in waves. I tried taking a hot shower, but the pain got so bad that I couldn't stand up anymore or even speak. I knew that I was having a miscarriage... Eventually, after lots more pain, bleeding, vomiting, and other unpleasantness, it was over. I passed a large amount of tissue, after which the bleeding and the cramps stopped almost immediately. Since then, I've felt pretty good physically-- better than I have in weeks. Emotionally... not so good.

I'm just so depressed because I feel like we beat the odds to get pregnant in the first place-- I ovulate about 1-2 times per year on average. I had been through tons of tests, had just gotten diagnosed with PCOS, and was coming to terms with the fact that TTC wasn't going to be "normal", when we found out that I was pregnant. It was only the second time I'd ovulated in a year and a half! My EDD was our wedding anniversary... we felt like it was "meant to be". And now this.

I don't know how to go forward from here. DH and I have discussed giving my body a chance to get back to "normal" (whatever that is) before starting with Clomid, but I just don't know what I want. I guess time will tell.

Strength and healing to all you other mamas... You are not alone.


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## Vermillion (Mar 12, 2005)

Megan







I'm so sorry for your loss.

Take care, and be patient and gentle with yourself. Peace and healing to you.








for you and your precious little one.


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## apmama2myboo (Mar 30, 2005)

i am so sorry. so sorry to see new names here, it's terrible. Please take care of yourself. I am trying to let my body get back to normal after my loss on 11/13 (i was nearly 20 weeks), it's taking time for AF to get under control. Anyways, I am sorry to hear you've tried so hard to conceive, I can't imagine what you must have endured. You'll find great support here.


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## DreamWeaver (May 28, 2002)

I am so, so sorry of what you have to go through... ...
Please take care and give yourself the time to heal and gather strength and hope again.


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## sbm1001 (Jun 2, 2005)

Megan, I'm so sorry for your loss & the feelings you're dealing with. My thoughts & prayers are with you. (((hugs)))

Shannon


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## LiamsMommy31905 (Nov 11, 2005)

Oh, Megan...I remember you from the August 08 DDC. I am so sorry for your loss.

I suffered a loss on Christmas Day and I have to tell you - the proverbial wound is still very open & raw, but it does get better day by day.

We can (and will) all get through this together.


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## Amydoula (Jun 20, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss







My loss was this week too, I have a D&C scheduled for Friday.


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## NullSet (Dec 19, 2004)

I'm so sorry, Megan.


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## Parker'smommy (Sep 12, 2002)

I am so sorry for your loss, Megan. Please feel free to share any feelings you may have here. And know that nothing is tmi around here. Hugs and healing to you.


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## gretasmommy (Aug 11, 2002)

So sorry for your loss.
Peace to you, and strength in abundance.


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