# I get so angry when people ask me this! RANT



## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

We live in Hawaii and I take my toddler to the beach once a week. I practically dunk her in Nature's Gate SPF 50 waterproof sunblock and we only stay out in the sun for half an hour to an hour with a big floppy sun hat.

EVERY TIME we go, someone (it is ALWAYS someone without kids with them) always says to me very rudely and condescendingly "is that baby wearing any sunblock?!"

The first time someone did it, I was just shocked that they would be so rude. I said "yes" nervously and got a very rude "well, I guess it's okay then" very condescendingly as if I must be a moron and require their okay on the matter. The second time I said yes, the woman just nodded and walked off in a huff.

Now every time I hear it, I just want to scream "YOU KNOW WHAT?!! I think I have a LOT MORE invested in the safety of my child than YOU do! I don't need a complete stranger to tell me how to parent my child, thanks!"

WHY does it make me so angry? It just seems like these people think they know better than all mothers and have to start some kind of a fight. I realize sunblock is important, but it's really none of their business. All they are going to do is irritate people. It's not going to make a mother snatch up her child and run to the store lickety-split for some sunblock.

*sigh* Thanks for listening to my most recent psychosis. I just needed to get that out before I explode.


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## Honey693 (May 5, 2008)

You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

How frustrating!!


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Oh good grief







. I'd be so tempted to say something like "oh no, we like the baby to get a little color, baby tans are so IN these days"







.

I really would NOT justify these people with a serious answer. Laugh it off with something completely silly as a response.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.

Ack! I was going to say Crisco too







. GMTA.


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## Inci (Apr 22, 2005)

I'm sorry! How frustrating! People can be SO judgmental... about such a wide variety of things.


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## daytripper75 (Jul 29, 2003)

Stare at them for a moment then turn away and continue with whatever you were doing before they were so nosey. You don't answer to them!

Sorry people are being so crummy!


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## SunshineJ (Mar 26, 2008)

DS is a fair skinned blonde boy through the winter. However, he has his dad's Cherokee blood in him and gets the most amazingly beautiful tan - _through the SPF 50 sunscreen_! I can totally sympathize with you, you wouldn't believe the comments I've gotten about letting this fair child of mine get so exposed to the sun! Most of the time I don't even bother with an answer anymore. I have to agree it IS very annoying!


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## ScarletBegonias (Aug 24, 2005)

*WHY* do people always ask that? for crying out loud in the rain people! mind your own business!

i always say *"NOPE!"*, very cheerily and with a big smile! they are usually so shocked at my sweet answer to their condescending question, they get all flustered and then either walk away or fumble to change the subject. SO hilarious!









we don't use sunscreen, for a plethora of reasons. i get super annoyed when people ask, but hey, at least they've never asked if i used wipes to clean my baby's butt after i changed his/her diaper!







geesh!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Want to be even angrier? I took my baby out half-naked practically all summer and only got asked where her hat was like 5 times and I was never asked about sunblock.

Is beach sun, with a hat and shade, magically stronger than other sun? Or do people just only think of sunblock when they're wearing it themselves?


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

My suggestion?

"Vitamin D? Ever hear of it? M. Y. O. B. and S. T. F. U."


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Want to be even angrier? I took my baby out half-naked practically all summer and only got asked where her hat was like 5 times and I was never asked about sunblock.

Is beach sun, with a hat and shade, magically stronger than other sun? Or do people just only think of sunblock when they're wearing it themselves?


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## Peacemamalove (Jun 7, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Latte Mama* 
Oh good grief







. I'd be so tempted to say something like "oh no, we like the baby to get a little color, baby tans are so IN these days"







.

I really would NOT justify these people with a serious answer. Laugh it off with something completely silly as a response.

Good thinking. Some people just come out with the weirdest stuff.


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## SquishyKitty (Jun 10, 2005)

It is easier to get burnt at the beach because the sun reflects off the water there.

That being said, it's really nobody's right to say something like that. I'd probably say something snotty like "No, she really needs to tan, it makes her look thinner" or something and walk away.


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## darcytrue (Jan 23, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.


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## ollyoxenfree (Jun 11, 2009)

That is extremely annoying. I don't think you need to answer.

You may avoid the question in the first place, since it bothers you a great deal, by dressing your kiddo in one of the long-sleeved/long-legged UV-screening sunsuit/swimsuits and a hat. For older children, rashguard shirts and board shorts work well too. Maybe if they see your LO's covered up, there will be fewer nosy interrogations - although honestly, people like that always find something to comment on.


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## New_Natural_Mom (Dec 21, 2007)

We don't use sunblock all the time. I think it is important for children to get vitamin D naturally. We also don't shower with soap for about 2 days after large sun exposure so the body can synthesize the vit D. (See Dr. Mercola for more info.) (We do use soap for major dirtiness though. That trumps the D. We also don't go into the sun a lot or for a long time. 20 minutes would be a lot at once.)

I think it is so hard for people to mind their own business when it comes to kids. I constantly find myself doing a mental check not to judge other people's parenting choices even when I disagree or think they are crazy. I saw a guy driving with a small child not in a carseat and no seatbelt. Though I was horrified, I had to stop myself and say, self - that is their choice, not mine. I may not like it but I shouldn't interfere. (And I can already feel the flames coming for that!)

We don't vaccinate at all. I don't want people interfering b/c they think it is best for my child and that I am neglectful or harming him for not vaxing.

It is such a paradigm shift for me, but I have come to the conclusion that personal beliefs shouldn't trump the rights of others. So when I see things that bother me as a parent I try to mmob. My theory is not perfect and still a work in progress, but there you go.

If that woman came up to me, I would hope that I would say something to deflect the situation like - wow it sure is sunny out here today. The sand is hot. Then try to ignore her. Knowing me, I would get totally flustered in shock or surprise at the question and stumble some incoherent answer b/c a million thoughts would be running through my head and my mouth wouldn't be able to keep up.

So, that is my very long-winded rambly answer to say







- people need to mind their own business.


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## bodhitree (May 12, 2008)

Yeah, I got that one too when we were hiking at Rocky Mountain National Park this summer. An older lady on the trail stopped us and said to LO, "I hope Mommy put sunscreen on you!". The comment itself was annoying, but it was even worse because I HATE when people say things "to the baby" because they think they can get away with being meddlesome that way.







I just said, "Of course," in an unfriendly voice, and kept walking. So irritating.


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## Lizafava (Nov 28, 2004)

I find comments like that annoying because they seem to reflect our safely obsessed culture to a tee. I think plenty of parents really aren't letting their kids outside because of one fear or another, and then the comments roll...

Like, comments on sunscreen, not wearing shoes, not wearing hats, letting your kid walk to the end of block alone, letting your baby eat real food, get dirty, put a stick in its mouth, etc. etc.

We've definitely gotten sunscreen comments too! A snotty "yes" is all I can muster - even if the answer is no!


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## glitterdaisymom (Jul 7, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.

I don't know why I find this sooo funny... that response gets my vote.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

I've been asked them too, and it always shocks me. I think I've said, "Uh, yeah?" Or something. I don't get why they're assuming she wouldn't unless they said something.


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## Quinalla (May 23, 2005)

Yeah, especially annoying when they get snotty about it







I've had people ask me if I was wearing sunscreen before since I am so pale. They at least said it with genuine concern and I could understand since I was obviously a northerner by my accent in Florida and a lot of us forget how much stronger the sun is there







but no need to be rude about it, geez!


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## laohaire (Nov 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
Is beach sun, with a hat and shade, magically stronger than other sun?

Actually, it's been my experience that it is.

The water and sand are very reflective, and we of course tend to wear less clothing at the beach as well (increasing exposure). Also, the duration of exposure can be longer at the beach; it's easy to stay at the beach all day whereas in other situations you might only stay outside an hour or so. Generally speaking of course. Also sunblock usually needs to be reapplied after going in the water. But mostly I think the difference is the reflectiveness of water and sand.

Of course that's totally besides the point of the annoyance factor of folks who think your kid would never live past age (insert age here) if it weren't for their advice.


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## HappilyEvrAfter (Apr 1, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Latte Mama* 
Oh good grief







. I'd be so tempted to say something like "oh no, we like the baby to get a little color, baby tans are so IN these days"







.

I really would NOT justify these people with a serious answer. Laugh it off with something completely silly as a response.

OMG. I love this.









I seriously just look at them and say, "Thanks for your concern, but I don't feel obliged to answer your question." Seriously.


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and ask this: Why does this bother you guys so much?

I get that if the stranger asking is rude, then I understand - no justification for rudeness ever.

But if the person is just sincerely wondering if maybe you don't realize the sun is particularly harsh on little babies, why is this so offensive to everyone?

I've been at concerts and seen young babies and asked the parents if the baby is wearing ear plugs. Often they're not, and I usually let the parents know that they sell earplugs and you can cut them to fit a smaller ear, and that a lot of damage can be done if they don't.

I said things like that before I had a kid, and now that I have one I'd still say it. And when I took my own babe to a couple of shows and between bands was carrying her around without her headphone ear protectors, I wasn't offended at all when people either asked if it was too loud for her or even a couple people gave me dirty looks. I knew I was protecting my babe and actually appreciated that people cared enough to ask.

I'm pretty suprised that those kind of comments, when well-meaning, are so offensive to so many?


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## Mary-Beth (Nov 20, 2001)

OK I have a pool and often enough we have friends with little one's come visit. I have actually learned that I should ask them if they have put sunscreen on. I usually have some on the table for anyone to use and I invite them to use it. I've learned this after having too many babies and sometimes parents burn at my house. I used to assume the parent knew to put it on (or use wide hats/shirts). But sometimes in the craziness of a busy life they forget...or think they won't burn.

I do see the point about how it can get annoying for a stranger to ask. Especially since it keeps happening. I'd smile and say "Yes, she's covered."

I'll also add it's annoying for me when people comment on how nice of a tan my children have-- it's their skin color! They have Italian skin that looks tan year round, no tan lines. BUT that's another whole thread!


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## KristaDJ (May 30, 2009)

I don't and *won't* put sunscreen on my children. I don't _need_ anyone to ask me if I have. It is disrespectful and rude to assume that other parents need you to remind them of what's best for their baby. Carrying sunscreen around and asking if someone needs/wants it would be okay but asking if the child has it on is not cool. That's like asking "do you feed that baby cereal yet?" "does he sleep through the night yet?" "did he get his flu shot?" It's none of your business.


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## frontierpsych (Jun 11, 2006)

I've had someone come up to me on the street and scold me for having me (then 11 month old) baby outside. Some people are just idiots.


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## chfriend (Aug 29, 2002)

I got/get lots of unsolicited advice with one of my children, not with the other. I say, "We're fine." until they go away.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Why is this annoying? It's annoying because it's presumptuous. I see no difference between asking "Is your baby wearing sunblock?" and "Did you feed your baby?" Or "Did you change his/her diaper?" or whatever. If a stranger in a candy store came up and asked you if you brushed your child's teeth after giving him/her candy, that would be annoying, yes? I don't think it's helpful to go around assuming that every parent a) is an uninformed idiot who needs information/reminders b) shares your particular value system.

That said, I really liked the Crisco response. My usual response to questions like these (automatic, can't be helped ;-)) is "No, we didn't feed him today. He was getting a little fat." Or whatever. ;-)


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## Katsmamajama (Jun 24, 2009)

As a Hawaiian transplant who spends time at the beach, I can understand. I'm not totally looking forward to our weekend beach trips after I deliver, because of this! I'm a big girl, I've learned my lesson (all by myself, on me!) that the sun is freakishly strong by the water and make sure I don't subject that same pain on my child(ren). Just because I have a child on the beach and don't look/sound like a local, doesn't mean I don't know about or practice sun safety!


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## ~Charlie's~Angel~ (Mar 17, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Katsmamajama* 
As a Hawaiian transplant who spends time at the beach, I can understand. I'm not totally looking forward to our weekend beach trips after I deliver, because of this! I'm a big girl, I've learned my lesson (all by myself, on me!) that the sun is freakishly strong by the water and make sure I don't subject that same pain on my child(ren). *Just because I have a child on the beach and don't look/sound like a local, doesn't mean I don't know about or practice sun safety!*

I was going to ask the OP if the people doing the asking were locals. Especially if her and/or the baby are fair skinned.


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## beckyand3littlemonsters (Sep 16, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Lizafava* 
Like, comments on sunscreen, not wearing shoes, not wearing hats, letting your kid walk to the end of block alone, letting your baby eat real food, get dirty, put a stick in its mouth, etc. etc.

oh deer then i'm trouble caden spent a lot of time during the summer sitting playing in the garden eating mud and chewing sticks with no shoes, socks or sun hat actually sometimes he had no clothes either just a vest and nappy or just a nappy


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## sisteeesmama (Oct 24, 2008)

I actually like the connectedness of other people caring about the well-being of my baby.
And I will admit I am not a perfect mom, I forget things all the time, I'm frazzled etc. and it doe snot bother me if someone asks me something like "did you remember sunscreen on the baby?" but only so long as it is in a nice way...


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## RiverTam (May 29, 2009)

If the baby is in no danger of getting burned, it's no one's business.

If the baby has a bad sunburn, the parent should be reported to CPS for abuse or neglect. Allowing a baby to get a bad sunburn is reportable in most states. I'd report it if I saw it.

How you keep your baby from getting burned is your own business.


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *KristaDJ* 
I don't and *won't* put sunscreen on my children. I don't _need_ anyone to ask me if I have. It is disrespectful and rude to assume that other parents need you to remind them of what's best for their baby. Carrying sunscreen around and asking if someone needs/wants it would be okay but asking if the child has it on is not cool. That's like asking "do you feed that baby cereal yet?" "does he sleep through the night yet?" "did he get his flu shot?" It's none of your business.

I totally get that there are parenting choices at play here too, so where you actually don't believe in putting sunscreen on your child (and feel strongly about it) and another parent feels strongly the opposite way, that it's irresponsible to not put it on... I get that these are parenting choices that are each of our rights and that is really the end of that conversation.

But the part about it being disrespectful and rude to assume other parents need a stranger to remind them of something... all I'll say on that is that I work for child welfare and am HORRIFIED by the number of things parents sometimes DO need reminding or initial instruction about.

They're not bad parents a lot of the time, and not mean. So many are just clueless. And I agree with Sisteesmama, for me, I want to live in a world where people care about other people and do ask questions if they think it would benefit someone. If they're rude or obnoxious or condescening that is uncalled for, but if they're well meaning, for me, I appreciate it even if it's unnecessary.

We live in a world where manufacturers have to put instructions on things like "Do not place a child in the dryer" or "don't put children or animals in the microwave" or even "do not bathe child in hot water" because aside from evil people who do these things on purpose to children, clueless people also do them. And we're all humans - I've forgotten the sunscreen or to strap the baby in the carseat a couple of times. Human error.

Even the obvious is often not so obvious to everyone, and I'd rather ask a friendly question and risk offending someone because way more often than not, what I'm asking about was an oversight instead of a conscious decision.


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## limabean (Aug 31, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sisteeesmama* 
I actually like the connectedness of other people caring about the well-being of my baby.
And I will admit I am not a perfect mom, I forget things all the time, I'm frazzled etc. and it does not bother me if someone asks me something like "did you remember sunscreen on the baby?" *but only so long as it is in a nice way...*

I think the bolded part is the problem -- the people the OP mentioned don't sound like they're doing it in a nice way. From the part of her post quoted below, it sounds like they're continuing to direct their anger at her _even after_ she tells them that the baby is wearing sunscreen. I've had people do that to me before (about other stuff) and it's so rude! They ask you a nosy question, you answer "correctly," and then they berate you anyway with a, "Well, okay, but if you hadn't, blah blah blah..." It's like they got themselves all worked up, and are determined to deliver their lecture whether you deserve it or not. Not nice, and not part of being a connected, caring society.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
The first time someone did it, I was just shocked that they would be so rude. I said "yes" nervously and got a very rude "well, I guess it's okay then" very condescendingly as if I must be a moron and require their okay on the matter. The second time I said yes, the woman just nodded and walked off in a huff.


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## hippiemommaof4 (Mar 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LROM* 
I'm gonna go out on a limb and ask this: Why does this bother you guys so much?

I get that if the stranger asking is rude, then I understand - no justification for rudeness ever.

But if the person is just sincerely wondering if maybe you don't realize the sun is particularly harsh on little babies, why is this so offensive to everyone?

I've been at concerts and seen young babies and asked the parents if the baby is wearing ear plugs. Often they're not, and I usually let the parents know that they sell earplugs and you can cut them to fit a smaller ear, and that a lot of damage can be done if they don't.

I said things like that before I had a kid, and now that I have one I'd still say it. And when I took my own babe to a couple of shows and between bands was carrying her around without her headphone ear protectors, I wasn't offended at all when people either asked if it was too loud for her or even a couple people gave me dirty looks. I knew I was protecting my babe and actually appreciated that people cared enough to ask.

I'm pretty suprised that those kind of comments, when well-meaning, are so offensive to so many?

because people should mind their own business... I think it's annoying too I have five kids and if I havent figured things out yet then there is something wrong. I dont think most people have genuine concerns I think they are just nosey and know it alls. I see a lot of bad parenting and I dont let them know everything they are doing is def not what I would do unless they ask me. I dont tell that new mom giving a baby a bottle of formula that she should bf instead...because its NOMB and its rude for one thing not to mention I dont know why they do what they do for whatever reason. People need to keep their opinions to themselves unless they are asked for it imo







.


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## theatermom (Jun 5, 2006)

Maybe I'm a horrible cynic (it's possible, I'll admit), but it has been my experience that the vast majority of strangers asking annoying/prying/child-related questions and passing out their personal takes on life are not doing it out of a sense of community and connectedness. They're bored, or nosey, or wanting to feel as if they've done a "good" deed, or wanting a chance to feel superior. I can totally see someone from a state with strong sun looking for a chance to show off their native knowledge, rather than actually looking out for someone else's babe. If I really thought someone needed sunscreen or a shade for her baby, I would offer her some, and leave it at that.

Community and connectedness are almost never engendered by rude, or even not-so-rude, I'm-more-knowledgeable-than-you, interactions. They're fostered by sharing, genuine interest, and an equality based, we're-in-this-together, kind of attitude. And I can't say that I'm going to start feeling warm and connected to a total stranger who starts off our relationship with a question like "Did you put sunscreen on your baby?"


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## stealthmode (Dec 4, 2008)

I have to say, while I generally find these kinds of questions annoying (and already get them while pregnant--re: vitamins, drinking wine, eating sushi, etc.), I am really trying to put a positive spin on it, like others have said.

We talk a lot on these boards about kindness and helping each other out, so when someone asks a question like that, why not just assume they're looking out for their fellow human beings?

I find that I'm a much happier person if I assume people are motivated by caring and concern. Innocent until proven guilty.

(Trust me, this is a daily struggle. I live with my ILs.







)


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## Elowyn (Nov 3, 2003)

That's the kind of question that causes me to give people "the look." You know, the "did you really just say that?" look that is vaguely reminiscent of how one would regard something nasty on one's shoe. I don't say anything, just look at them, and they scuttle off. Rude, obnoxious, nosy people don't get time/defense/anything from me.


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## hippiemommaof4 (Mar 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *theatermom* 
Maybe I'm a horrible cynic (it's possible, I'll admit), but it has been my experience that the vast majority of strangers asking annoying/prying/child-related questions and passing out their personal takes on life are not doing it out of a sense of community and connectedness. They're bored, or nosey, or wanting to feel as if they've done a "good" deed, or wanting a chance to feel superior. I can totally see someone from a state with strong sun looking for a chance to show off their native knowledge, rather than actually looking out for someone else's babe. If I really thought someone needed sunscreen or a shade for her baby, I would offer her some, and leave it at that.

Community and connectedness are almost never engendered by rude, or even not-so-rude, I'm-more-knowledgeable-than-you, interactions. They're fostered by sharing, genuine interest, and an equality based, we're-in-this-together, kind of attitude. And I can't say that I'm going to start feeling warm and connected to a total stranger who starts off our relationship with a question like "Did you put sunscreen on your baby?"

Thats what I am saying...








I dont really try to put a positive spin on things because its just not me. I dont fart rainbows and sunshine and I dont love everyone (just being honest) LOL. It sounds nice in theory, I'm a kind loving person but life isnt always roses and sunshine. Most of the time people like that dont care about you one way or the other which is sad but that's life. Like when people stare at us because we have 5 kids or say something stupid/ hurtful to us that they think is so clever and witty @@ . They dont care about our family in the least, they are just nosey and rude.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *theatermom* 
Maybe I'm a horrible cynic (it's possible, I'll admit), but it has been my experience that the vast majority of strangers asking annoying/prying/child-related questions and passing out their personal takes on life are not doing it out of a sense of community and connectedness. They're bored, or nosey, or wanting to feel as if they've done a "good" deed, or wanting a chance to feel superior."

I'd have to agree. When ds1 was little, I had two distinct styles of dress. When I was on my way to/from work, I wore black dress slacks, a blouse or nice sweater and sometimes a black blazer, with light make-up. On non-work days, I wore jeans (sometimes torn, with black spandex pants/tights showing through underneath), heavy metal concert t-shirts, a denim vest with a horned skull on the back, flashy earrings, sometimes studded leather accessories (before they became fashionable again a few years ago) and heavy make-up. The number of "helpful" comments about my child being dressed inappropriately, "looking" tired, or "looking" hungry or whatever that I go was significantly higher when I was off work. When I say "significantly", I'm talking like...I remember _one_ comment about ds1 needing a hat when I was in work clothes. I don't think I ever took him out - not once - without being told how to parent in my non-work clothes.

That's not out of connectedness. It's out of a desire to act in a snottily superior fashion. They could boss me around because I was young white trash (and i wasn't that young - 24 when ds1 was born - but I looked younger, apparently).


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## ~ Wonderful Life ~ (Apr 14, 2009)

When people say things like this to me, I usually give a tight smile and look away without saying anything.


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## angelpie545 (Feb 23, 2005)

I'd probably look at the other person and say "You know, it is so hot out! Did you put sunscreen on? Because it looks you are getting burned already!" And then start going on about skin cancer and what not.


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## terrabella (Oct 19, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *Latte Mama* 
I'd be so tempted to say something like "oh no, we like the baby to get a little color, baby tans are so IN these days"







.











Quote:


Originally Posted by *sapphire_chan* 
"Vitamin D? Ever hear of it? M. Y. O. B. and S. T. F. U."


















Quote:


Originally Posted by *SquishyKitty* 
"No, she really needs to tan, it makes her look thinner"


















Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
I'd have to agree. When ds1 was little, I had two distinct styles of dress. When I was on my way to/from work, I wore black dress slacks, a blouse or nice sweater and sometimes a black blazer, with light make-up. On non-work days, I wore jeans (sometimes torn, with black spandex pants/tights showing through underneath), heavy metal concert t-shirts, a denim vest with a horned skull on the back, flashy earrings, sometimes studded leather accessories (before they became fashionable again a few years ago) and heavy make-up. The number of "helpful" comments about my child being dressed inappropriately, "looking" tired, or "looking" hungry or whatever that I go was significantly higher when I was off work. When I say "significantly", I'm talking like...I remember _one_ comment about ds1 needing a hat when I was in work clothes. I don't think I ever took him out - not once - without being told how to parent in my non-work clothes.

That's not out of connectedness. It's out of a desire to act in a snottily superior fashion. They could boss me around because I was young white trash (and i wasn't that young - 24 when ds1 was born - but I looked younger, apparently).


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## stealthmode (Dec 4, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Storm Bride* 
That's not out of connectedness. It's out of a desire to act in a snottily superior fashion.

Believe me, I don't necessarily disagree with that. I just find I'm a lot less stressed if I mentally stay in my magical fairy rainbow land.


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## Storm Bride (Mar 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *stealthmode* 
Believe me, I don't necessarily disagree with that. I just find I'm a lot less stressed if I mentally stay in my magical fairy rainbow land.









I can believe that. I'm probably just jealous, because I'm not good at getting into a magical fairy rainbow land in the first place.


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## _betsy_ (Jun 29, 2004)

I think theatermom hit the nail on the head.

I'd probably start saying something like "We live here. She's protected." If i felt the need to say anything at all.


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## caro113 (Aug 25, 2008)

We went to a tattoo convention in March and DD got a rub on tattoo. Everyone - and I mean everyone!! - asked in a rather rude tone "Is that _real_?!"


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## neverdoingitagain (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 
We went to a tattoo convention in March and DD got a rub on tattoo. Everyone - and I mean everyone!! - asked in a rather rude tone "Is that _real_?!"

I would be tempted to say "no, its a figment of your imagination" and


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## Romana (Mar 3, 2006)

I would make cards or slips of paper that said:

_Yes, she's wearing sunscreen.
Yes, I've been asked before._

Then I wouldn't have to actually respond, and it would help with my need to be passive-aggressive about it.


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

If people were just being nice, I think they'd say, "I have some sunblock if you need any." Not, "Do you have sunblock on that child!?"


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## mamazee (Jan 5, 2003)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 
We went to a tattoo convention in March and DD got a rub on tattoo. Everyone - and I mean everyone!! - asked in a rather rude tone "Is that _real_?!"

My dd had a fake tattoo on her ankle at one point, and I had people ask that too. It was when she was 5. It's like, "Yeah, I took my 5-year-old to the tattoo parlor . . ." What are people thinking?


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## Asiago (Jul 1, 2009)

I would probably answer with a question









_"She's wearing 50, why do most kids wear higher than 50?"_

Answering with a question can be very useful sometimes.


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## Murph12334 (Nov 12, 2003)

don;t respond it you don;t want to, but if you do i vote for the crisco response


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *caro113* 
We went to a tattoo convention in March and DD got a rub on tattoo. Everyone - and I mean everyone!! - asked in a rather rude tone "Is that _real_?!"

Yet there was a story on the news just last week about a guy who wanted his 7 yr old to have some of the same tats he had, and child welfare got involved. And I have friends who work in tattoo parlors who say they have had people come in and be suprised that a parent can't approve a child to get a tattoo.

I totally get that some people are saying these "Does your child....?" things to be rude and snotty and feel superior, and I get the objection to that. I object to that too.

But I don't get the level of "AS IF anyone would ever do/not do that!" Although, I guess in a way the fact that so many of you think these things are obvious and *of course* you've done/not done the thing in question, that's the "rainbow fairy land" aspect of this board, which is a lovely thing. This is a board of mostly connected, aware parents.

But think about it, isn't it pretty clear by the number of posts about the crazy (as we see them) parenting decisions a lot of other people make that some of these things may very well not be so obvious to a lot of people?

I know everyone is still free to be offended, I just wanted to add the observation that I guess some of this offense (aside from the rude people) comes from a sense that these things are obvious... when they often are not.


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## MaterPrimaePuellae (Oct 30, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LROM* 
....
*But the part about it being disrespectful and rude to assume other parents need a stranger to remind them of something... all I'll say on that is that I work for child welfare and am HORRIFIED by the number of things parents sometimes DO need reminding or initial instruction about.*
...
*They're not bad parents a lot of the time, and not mean. So many are just clueless.* And I agree with Sisteesmama, for me, I want to live in a world where people care about other people and do ask questions if they think it would benefit someone. If they're rude or obnoxious or condescening that is uncalled for, but if they're well meaning, for me, I appreciate it even if it's unnecessary.


Right, but a part of what offends me when something like this happens (sunscreen or a hat or food I'm offering or whatever) is the assumption that a) I am one of those "not evil but well meaning parents" who needs advice from strangers and that b) the advice-giver is putting themself in a position of authority (on hats or food or whatever). If I were on the beach with my fair-skinned baby, and someone came up, introduced themself as a dermatologist,and said, "I just want to be sure you know how important it is for your baby to be wearing sunscreen, etc," then I would be genuinely fine and happy to get some free expert advice. *Generally*, however, this has been by experience:

Quote:


Originally Posted by *theatermom* 
Maybe I'm a horrible cynic (it's possible, I'll admit), but it has been my experience that the vast majority of strangers asking annoying/prying/child-related questions and passing out their personal takes on life are not doing it out of a sense of community and connectedness. *They're bored, or nosey, or wanting to feel as if they've done a "good" deed, or wanting a chance to feel superior*. I can totally see someone from a state with strong sun looking for a chance to show off their native knowledge, rather than actually looking out for someone else's babe. If I really thought someone needed sunscreen or a shade for her baby, I would offer her some, and leave it at that.

It is NEVER the pleasant looking mom carrying her baby in the sling, or the off-duty pediatrician, etc, who doles out advice to me. It's always either a grumpy old man or, one one memorable occasion, a mom who was bottle feeding her newborn while her older children were running wild around us.

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hippiemommaof4* 









because people should mind their own business... I think it's annoying too I have five kids and if I havent figured things out yet then there is something wrong. I dont think most people have genuine concerns I think they are just nosey and know it alls. I see a lot of bad parenting and I dont let them know everything they are doing is def not what I would do unless they ask me*. I dont tell that new mom giving a baby a bottle of formula that she should bf instead...because its NOMB and its rude for one thing not to mention I dont know why they do what they do for whatever reason. People need to keep their opinions to themselves unless they are asked for it im*o







.

This is how I feel. I DO NOT WANT community togetherness, joint parenting, or advice from strangers on the street. Nothing ruins my day quite like having a grouchy old lady growl at my daughter, happily playing in the rain, to put a hat on.


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## hollytheteacher (Mar 10, 2007)

maybe you could turn it around and embarass the person,

"Yes she is, but are YOU wearing deoderant?"


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *hollytheteacher* 
maybe you could turn it around and embarass the person,

"Yes she is, but are YOU wearing deoderant?"

LOVE IT!


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *neverdoingitagain* 
I would be tempted to say "no, its a figment of your imagination" and

















: or

"Is what real?" They indicate the image







: "OMG!" *scrub frantically*








: Ooops, it was your dd not you.

In that case, pretend she drew it on with markers.







:


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## Belia (Dec 22, 2007)

"Of course DD is wearing sunscreen! After all, she already put in an hour in the tanning bed and I wouldn't want to over do it!"


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

awww mama why do you see it as judging your parenting style.

why not think of it as love. as people being so protective of your toddler they evne take hte time to ask.

i think people find babies and toddlers irresistable.

for many that kind of comment is also an icebreaker. they want to talk to the mom and the cute kid, but how do you start a conversation.


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
awww mama why do you see it as judging your parenting style.

why not think of it as love. as people being so protective of your toddler they evne take hte time to ask.

i think people find babies and toddlers irresistable.

for many that kind of comment is also an icebreaker. they want to talk to the mom and the cute kid, but how do you start a conversation.

I'm all for love, but asking something in a very obviously snotty manner is NOT love. Perhaps if they sounded somewhat polite, but the way they ask just isn't polite at all.


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## NettleTea (Aug 16, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *meemee* 
awww mama why do you see it as judging your parenting style.

why not think of it as love. as people being so protective of your toddler they evne take hte time to ask.

i think people find babies and toddlers irresistable.

for many that kind of comment is also an icebreaker. they want to talk to the mom and the cute kid, but how do you start a conversation.

It might be different if they were asking in a kind, friendly manner rather than in a condescending tone. According to the OP, once they've got what they prodded for they pretty much just toss their head and walk off.


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## green betty (Jun 13, 2004)

I have been known to respond to this kind of thing with, "Seriously, none of your own business to mind? I can't imagine what that's like. Must be nice!"

I have little tolerance for pushy comments from strangers. If someone asks in a polite tone I'll answer politely (even if I'm annoyed), but if they're being pushy I'll push back and harder.

The tattoo comments bring back to mind an interaction I had after I got my last tattoo. A woman looked at me in absolute horror and said, "I hope that's not a _real_ tattoo." I looked right back at her and said, "I hope those aren't your real manners."


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## childsplay (Sep 4, 2007)

We've gotten the sunscreen question lot as well.
Along with the "uh oh, I think Mommy forgot your shoes" (directed at my barefoot toddlers/children)

For the sunscreen comments I usually just ignore them. Totally ignore, as in turn my head or walk away. If they persist I tell them that yes, I've been a parent for a very long time and I know how to keep my children safe. (still doesn't completely answer their question though







)

The shoes thing I just say Yup, guess so......

It seems that a lot of society (NOT everyone!) have a hard time saying NICE things in passing....almost like they're more comfortable saying something derogetory, offensive, superior or rude. Isn't that awful to think about!!??

Being a Mom, especially in public settings, to me, often feels like I'm under the watchful, intrusive eye of the general public, and folks are just waiting to correct or question me.
Now I know, realistically, that isn't so, but, after so many instances of being asked about sunblock, hats, shoes, my kids climbing high, or running fast, or rough housing with each other, playing with sticks, even taking their bike helmet of for a minute while leaning on thier bike to cool off for a bit I've had a lady say " I hope he puts that helmet back on before he gets back on that bike" WTF??? Give me a break!! Butt OUT of my life!!!!
I saying all that, my DH and I make a concious effort to say only positive things to folks in passing. Things like "Beautiful day! or Your kid's a great runner, is he/she in soccer, or what an awesome climber, cool bike, what a handsome little man! etc....just nice things that often turn into friendly conversations. It feels good to say nice things, (I know I would feel like poop if I said something negative to a parent and made them feel badly.....)
Just my jumbled thoughts


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## hippiemommaof4 (Mar 31, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *green betty* 
I have been known to respond to this kind of thing with, "Seriously, none of your own business to mind? I can't imagine what that's like. Must be nice!"

I have little tolerance for pushy comments from strangers. If someone asks in a polite tone I'll answer politely (even if I'm annoyed), but if they're being pushy I'll push back and harder.

The tattoo comments bring back to mind an interaction I had after I got my last tattoo. A woman looked at me in absolute horror and said, "I hope that's not a _real_ tattoo." I looked right back at her and said, "I hope those aren't your real manners."

awesomeeeeeee lol


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## LROM (Sep 10, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *green betty* 

The tattoo comments bring back to mind an interaction I had after I got my last tattoo. A woman looked at me in absolute horror and said, "I hope that's not a _real_ tattoo." I looked right back at her and said, "I hope those aren't your real manners."

That's one of the best comebacks I've heard in a loooong time! Not sure when I'd get the chance to use it, but I will try!









Re: making the effort to say nice things, I do that all the time. It's so true that people always want to yelp about the negatives but so rarely say the positives. Whenever I can say something positive to/about a child I do... especially if the parent looks really frazzled.


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## almama (Mar 22, 2003)

I agree that these women were rude . . .but . . .

. . .having recently had scares with skin cancer, I think *maybe* they are reacting from personal experience. While they expressed it poorly, it may not be so bad intentioned.

I found myself biting my tongue a lot this summer when the sixteen year old girl with the sunburn told me that she burns all the time, when the mom of the 4 year old told me her son only got three burns this summer, and when people told me that they would rather have sunburns than sunglass marks. I *wanted* to tell them now that I know the risks, THAT'S CRAZY, but I kept my mouth shut because I did not want to sound like a nut.

Maybe saying to them, "Are you worried about skin cancer?" and seeing where it leads, may yield interesting results. Or you can just ignore them or change the subject.

There are a lot of sharp come backs listed here, but I wouldn't want my kids learning to handle people in that manner. It just doesn't seem kind.


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## chirp (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *LROM* 
I'm gonna go out on a limb and ask this: Why does this bother you guys so much?

I get that if the stranger asking is rude, then I understand - no justification for rudeness ever.

But if the person is just sincerely wondering if maybe you don't realize the sun is particularly harsh on little babies, why is this so offensive to everyone?

I've been at concerts and seen young babies and asked the parents if the baby is wearing ear plugs. Often they're not, and I usually let the parents know that they sell earplugs and you can cut them to fit a smaller ear, and that a lot of damage can be done if they don't.

I said things like that before I had a kid, and now that I have one I'd still say it. And when I took my own babe to a couple of shows and between bands was carrying her around without her headphone ear protectors, I wasn't offended at all when people either asked if it was too loud for her or even a couple people gave me dirty looks. I knew I was protecting my babe and actually appreciated that people cared enough to ask.

I'm pretty suprised that those kind of comments, when well-meaning, are so offensive to so many?

i agree.
that and i think most people are just trying to strike up conversation.

you don't even necessarily HAVE to answer their questions...just saying..it IS really sunny out today...would suffice.


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## lovemybubus (Oct 2, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Belia* 
"Of course DD is wearing sunscreen! After all, she already put in an hour in the tanning bed and I wouldn't want to over do it!"

I am so stealing this. Oddly, nobody really asks me...oh maybe that's because it's overcast here 300 out of 365 days a year









But I will be looking forward to the opportunity now that I have my come back ready.


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## meemee (Mar 30, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Grylliade* 
It might be different if they were asking in a kind, friendly manner rather than in a condescending tone. According to the OP, once they've got what they prodded for they pretty much just toss their head and walk off.









everyone of them?

i know OP talked about teh first one.

havent we all moms faced some kind of disgrunteled comment at some point raising our children?

like someone else asked, why does it upset OP so much.

i have had my fair share of rude comments and i ended up feeling sorry for that person. how sad life must be for them to always look out at the world with those eyes.


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## sapphire_chan (May 2, 2005)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *almama* 
I found myself biting my tongue a lot this summer when the sixteen year old girl with the sunburn told me that she burns all the time, when the mom of the 4 year old told me her son only got three burns this summer, and when people told me that they would rather have sunburns than sunglass marks. I *wanted* to tell them now that I know the risks, THAT'S CRAZY, but I kept my mouth shut because I did not want to sound like a nut.

Honestly, I think you would've been fine saying something to the OP like
"Hi, I've had recent experience with skin cancer, and want to be sure you've got sunscreen on your adorable child. You do?







Thanks for reassuring me."

In your examples, though, you could've been totally blunt "I've dealt with skin cancer and what you're doing is a really bad idea. Good bye"


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## jazzybaby9 (Feb 27, 2007)

The other day we were up on a family farm for harvesting and DD was climbing around on the tractor trailer and a mom asks me "do you need sunscreen for her?" I said "no thank you." All the mom's looked at me disgusted and horrified. Oh well, screw'em!

And HI! Long time, no talk! We're still comin' out early June, Mama!


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## MommytoR (Jul 7, 2009)

And here I thought all the 'helpful' hints and advice I got from strangers was just because I'm a young mom who looks even younger.








I mostly seem to get things like this from older women. A while ago at the mall, an older woman came up to me and told me very seriously how good it was that I "knew to keep a hat on that baby". Really? It's summer in Houston, so he wasn't going to catch a chill. We were also indoors so he didn't need sun protection... people also often would stop me when he was smaller and tell me my child needed a blanket even though it wasn't really cold out. I think it's just the seasonal favorite nosy comment of choice in the summer.


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## Latte Mama (Aug 25, 2009)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *MommytoR* 
And here I thought all the 'helpful' hints and advice I got from strangers was just because I'm a young mom who looks even younger.









Well, I'm an older mom who looks younger than her age, but not too young







.
When my DS was just about 2-3 weeks old, I desperately wanted to get out of the house so I put him in the Mei Tai and went to Trader Joes. An older lady there asked me "What do you have there, OH a baby, how old ,2 weeks! Did you REALLY need to come here today?"







Yes because we should hide in the house until baby is at least 6 months old







.

My DS is biracial so I seriously doubt I'll ever hear a sunscreen remark though he needs it too!


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## EdnaMarie (Sep 9, 2006)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *glitterdaisymom* 
I don't know why I find this sooo funny... that response gets my vote.









It's cause a crispy baby is a funny idea.









OP, that sucks, and I'd be really irritated, too.

Lattemama, we are all brown / latte colored in my family, and yes, we get sunscreen comments from the doctor and very occasionally, others. We are not immune!

In addition, I find that what makes people really, really sorry they said anything is when you engage them in a seriously long conversation in which you whine. Like, "Welll..... you know, I was like, well, I was thinking about it, but then I read in this magazine that they need, uh, uh, uh, vitamin, uh, uh, uh, D? Or B? And, uh, uh, uh, I didn't know, so I went to the store, and I asked a lady there about it and she said that I needed this kind but it wasn't on sale and my husband just got laid off so I don't have a lot to spend but he said go ahead so I bought the one on sale because I felt bad and..."

They'll never say anything to a random stranger again.


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## EviesMom (Nov 30, 2004)

"She has more sunblock than you have tact!" and walk away. Feel free to add other things after "tact" that would violate the UA but are totally appropriate to people who are insulting you.


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## lovebug (Nov 2, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.









it! I would love an update if you actually use a reply like the above. i could use a good laugh!


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *jazzybaby9* 
The other day we were up on a family farm for harvesting and DD was climbing around on the tractor trailer and a mom asks me "do you need sunscreen for her?" I said "no thank you." All the mom's looked at me disgusted and horrified. Oh well, screw'em!

And HI! Long time, no talk! We're still comin' out early June, Mama!









Can't wait!


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## sea_joy (Aug 5, 2006)

I can't help but wonder what the OP looks like. Young? Any kind of alternative dress? Dreads, hippie clothes, heavy metal, dyed hair, anything like that? And was her child wearing a bathing suit?

Often I've found that these kinds of comments happen when people assume you are an incompetent parent. They see some "girl" with a kid and assume she's clueless, she doesn't even know how much she doesn't know. If I'm wearing "regular" clothes and my children are dressed up like little babyGap models people are really polite and I NEVER get advice. If I'm dressed in my long skirts and my kids are wearing (clean and weather appropriate) mismatched funny clothes and shoes they picked themselves? Bam! What's in my shopping cart, how my kids act and everything else get analyzed. People look at me longer and stare at me to see if I'm one of those crazy irresponsible hippie types.

Also, I have a MIL who obsessively undermines everything about my parenting and actually does ask me if I've fed the children recently. There must be a little emoticon for this feeling I have about that....







ah yes, there it is.

So, yeah, I wonder about the OP's cirumstances, cause I will lay down money that she isn't driving a new car, wearing fancy sunglasses with a designer diaper bag and impeccably and conservatively dressed. Do we have any MDCers like that? I wonder how often people ask them if they adequately care for their children......


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sea_joy* 
I can't help but wonder what the OP looks like. Young? Any kind of alternative dress? Dreads, hippie clothes, heavy metal, dyed hair, anything like that? And was her child wearing a bathing suit?

Often I've found that these kinds of comments happen when people assume you are an incompetent parent. They see some "girl" with a kid and assume she's clueless, she doesn't even know how much she doesn't know. If I'm wearing "regular" clothes and my children are dressed up like little babyGap models people are really polite and I NEVER get advice. If I'm dressed in my long skirts and my kids are wearing (clean and weather appropriate) mismatched funny clothes and shoes they picked themselves? Bam! What's in my shopping cart, how my kids act and everything else get analyzed. People look at me longer and stare at me to see if I'm one of those crazy irresponsible hippie types.

Also, I have a MIL who obsessively undermines everything about my parenting and actually does ask me if I've fed the children recently. There must be a little emoticon for this feeling I have about that....







ah yes, there it is.

So, yeah, I wonder about the OP's cirumstances, cause I will lay down money that she isn't driving a new car, wearing fancy sunglasses with a designer diaper bag and impeccably and conservatively dressed. Do we have any MDCers like that? I wonder how often people ask them if they adequately care for their children......

Well, I'm almost 30 and I look pretty normal. I have long hair, but I keep it in a bun, so you can't tell. I wear jeans or khaki shorts and plain t-shirts or nicer dress shirts. I live in Hawaii, so we all wear flip-flops. I don't wear any makeup. I dress conservatively, but I don't have any designer stuff. Yep, my daughter wears a bathing suit (bottoms only) and a sun hat. No new car here, but I do drive a nicely kept 2004 Kia.

A photo of us at the beach on Mother's Day:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...nal/051009.jpg

And a rare moment with makeup:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v9...urnal/arb3.jpg

I don't look alternative at all. At least I don't think so. I deliberately make myself look bland so I don't attract attention (I'm sort of stand-offish).


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## Viola (Feb 1, 2002)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sisteeesmama* 
I actually like the connectedness of other people caring about the well-being of my baby.
And I will admit I am not a perfect mom, I forget things all the time, I'm frazzled etc. and it doe snot bother me if someone asks me something like "did you remember sunscreen on the baby?" but only so long as it is in a nice way...

Yeah, I think if they said, "I have sunscreen if you need it" it would be a better way to approach it.

Quote:

I have been known to respond to this kind of thing with, "Seriously, none of your own business to mind? I can't imagine what that's like. Must be nice!"

The tattoo comments bring back to mind an interaction I had after I got my last tattoo. A woman looked at me in absolute horror and said, "I hope that's not a real tattoo." I looked right back at her and said, "I hope those aren't your real manners."










I was thinking you could say, "She's supposed to WEAR sunscreen??? Oh. I thought she was supposed to take it internally."


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## claddaghmom (May 30, 2008)

That would burn me up b/c we don't use sunscreen.

I'm passive with strangers though, for the most part. So I probably would have just smiled and nodded and moved on.


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## Cutie Patootie (Feb 29, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *amberskyfire* 
I'm all for love, but asking something in a very obviously snotty manner is NOT love. Perhaps if they sounded somewhat polite, but the way they ask just isn't polite at all.










I don't mind at all the kind loving remarks either, but yesterday while I was on my way out of a restaurant with my 9 mos old in my arms, I passed 2 elderly woman sitting at their table. One said under her breath, but intended for me to hear, "she had better put a coat on that baby". And it was not said in the least bit of kindness.
I actually had a jacket and wool pilot hat in my hand ready to put on him by the door. I told my mom I should have plopped my baby on their table and showed them his wool undershirt, wool leggings and long-sleeved onesie under his clothes. LOL Ahhhhh, but then they probably would have told me he was overdressed. I'm not sure why people feel the need to act in that way towards someone they do not know anything about.


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## green betty (Jun 13, 2004)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Viola* 
I was thinking you could say, "She's supposed to WEAR sunscreen??? Oh. I thought she was supposed to take it internally."

Good one, Viola! I'm filing that away for future use.


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## sea_joy (Aug 5, 2006)

Well, you don't look super alternative, though you do look young and fresh faced, you're very pretty







I think maybe since your daughter wasn't wearing a top? I've gotten tons of comments at the beach from my MIL freaking out if my kids aren't wearing bathing suits. It could be one of those puritanical things.

We were at a family party once (height of summer) and my daughter had taken off all her clothes and was running around naked. After about five minutes this man who was there started telling my MIL (loudly so that I could overhear) "It's time to put some clothes on that child." SO, I put a pair of tights on her which she took off in a minute. After that they pretty much figured out I wasn't gonna dress her yet. Some people think that it's irresponsible to let a kid get that much sun, that is would be better to be covered up, and that a kid (even a baby) should be wearing clothes at all times........oh well.


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## amberskyfire (Sep 15, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *sea_joy* 
Well, you don't look super alternative, though you do look young and fresh faced, you're very pretty







I think maybe since your daughter wasn't wearing a top? I've gotten tons of comments at the beach from my MIL freaking out if my kids aren't wearing bathing suits. It could be one of those puritanical things.

We were at a family party once (height of summer) and my daughter had taken off all her clothes and was running around naked. After about five minutes this man who was there started telling my MIL (loudly so that I could overhear) "It's time to put some clothes on that child." SO, I put a pair of tights on her which she took off in a minute. After that they pretty much figured out I wasn't gonna dress her yet. Some people think that it's irresponsible to let a kid get that much sun, that is would be better to be covered up, and that a kid (even a baby) should be wearing clothes at all times........oh well.

Thanks







Actually, the bathing suit thing probably has nothing to do with it as I live in Hawaii and probably 90% of babies do not wear bathing suits at the beach here. It's just part of the culture. My daughter would probably be considered overdressed


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## terrabella (Oct 19, 2005)

I just met a man on Thursday, that said he had seen this family out with this little baby, and it was a full sun day. He thought the baby's thighs and head looked awfully pink, so he asked the "Is that baby wearing sunblock?", the reply was "No. We forgot it." To which he offered them his own sunblock. He was a really nice man while we were chatting, and I don't doubt that his intentions were very good. Perhaps if people have ran into negligible parents before, then they tend to be more jaded?


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## ammasmahma (Feb 2, 2009)

"No, we eat lots of berries instead".

My daughter says, "







" &

"poillhl;ttl;pu;6mltri6oprkiuok[l[7l[ykl[7lyj[pil[ylf[kj[piuj[plry[oj=-"


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## THBVsMommy (Mar 13, 2007)

Quote:


Originally Posted by *Crystal_R* 
You should start saying "Nope, but we covered her in Crisco so she'll get nice and crispy" just to see what kind of reaction you get.

I just LOL'd


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