# Would you let your toddler nap in the car?



## laurag (Feb 22, 2002)

Since DD started morning preschool last month she has stopped taking her afternoon nap. She doesn't have a nap at school in the morning either, so that means she is going all day without one which makes the evenings a nightmare.

She always falls asleep on the way home from school in the car, but wakes up when I bring her inside and put her to bed. So today, I left her sleeping in the car. It was parked directly out my front door and I put the windows down to give her a nice breeze. It is a nice mild temp here this time of year. I could see her very easily from my living room window as well as through my front storm door. She slept for about an hour.

My question is - would you do this with your toddler? I have some reservations about leaving her in the car, but it seems like a safe situation and it is the only way she is getting her much needed nap. Anyone have any opinions/advice on this?


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## Lucky Charm (Nov 8, 2002)

Quote:

Would you let your toddler nap in the car?
No.


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## momto l&a (Jul 31, 2002)

Quote:

Would you let your toddler nap in the car?
YES.

Both of our girls we let sleep in the car, somedays they really need a nap and its the ONLY way they get the sleep they need because of our sometimes hetic schedule. With our oldest dd its rare she ever naps so when she does we accomodate her.

We have a watch dogs that runs lose, we can see the car, car is locked though the windows are down, we feel very safe in doing this.

Nether one of our kids are the kind that while they are sleeping they can be moved without waking.


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## Penelope (Jul 22, 2003)

I would not do this unless I was also in the car.

Can you pack yourself a little bag with a novel, the checkbook to balance, a snack, whatever? I'd so take this as an opportunity to read...

I actually ran into a friend's child in the car, windows up (on a cool day) as she ran into the bagel shop. Out of sight of the car. A dry-cleaner bag was inside hanging next to him...

I stayed next to the car with dd and played peek-a-boo with him until his mom got back. I think she thought I was nuts! But no way could I have kept walking.

Just my city context - but I'd worry about carjacking.


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## Trishy (Oct 15, 2002)

Yes and I have before. When we were visiting with my mother this summer ds would not nap unless it was in the van. Some days we would be out and ds would fall asleep in the van. Whenever we got back I would open both sliding doors and run inside to get a drink and a book. Then I sat in a lawn chair next to the van and sat and read while he napped.


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

Sam falls asleep in the car all the time. Usually on the way to grandma's house.

*HOWEVER* , the car is moving and we are in it at all times.

It is never never ever acceptable to leave a child alone in a car at anytime!!!!!!!









What if that car got hit by another car?

What if someone saw this beautiful sleeping angel and decided they wanted her/him for themselves?

What if the child woke? How long would it take you to get there?

Never leave a child alone in a car. Period.


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## mirlee (Jul 30, 2002)

Sam falls asleep in the car all the time. Usually on the way to grandma's house.

*HOWEVER* , the car is moving and we are in it at all times. If both of us are in the car and we are making a stop, one stays behind.

It is never never ever acceptable to leave a child alone in a car at anytime!!!!!!!









What if that car got hit by another car?

What if someone saw this beautiful sleeping angel and decided they wanted her/him for themselves?

What if the child woke? How long would it take you to get there?

Never leave a child alone in a car. Period.


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## monkeysmommy (Apr 3, 2003)

I would never leave my baby alone in the car, even if I could see her. If I know she is probably going to fall asleep in the car, I will try to bring a newspaper, a cup of coffee, and some bills to pay, and I will sit with her until she wakes up.


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## USAmma (Nov 29, 2001)

No, never ever. I will of course let her sleep as long as we are going somewhere. She's pretty good about transferring to the house or stroller on my shoulder and will stay asleep. But even if she didn't, no I would never leave her alone in the car. I don't even leave her to go drop off videos in the drop box or ring a doorbell. A couple months ago in Phoenix a woman left her car running and went to ring the doorbell of her carpool partner while her toddler stayed in the car. Well someone ran and stole her car with the child inside!!

Darshani


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## vermonter (Jan 6, 2002)

we do all the time. Granted we live in the middle of no where in Vermont and no other cars come down our driveway. ALso, I always either stay with her or sit on our porch right above the car and check on her all the time. Also, I would never leave her asleep in the car if it were the least bit hot out.


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## Oklahoma Mama (Feb 12, 2003)

Not unless I was working/relaxing outside near the car.


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## sadean (Nov 20, 2001)

I'm with the minority and say yes, I have on occasion let my children when they were toddlers, and at the wierd age where they would not go back to sleep if I tried to carry them in, sleep in the car with the windows down. Sometimes I have stayed in the car and listened to NPR, sometimes I stayed on the back porch and read, sometimes I gardened around where the car was parked, and sometimes I worked in the kitchen in direct view of the car. I understand the fear, but sometimes I just had to be flexible and honor my children's need for uninterruped sleep. I understand that it is an unpopular choice on this board, but it is one that I have made and have no regrets about. You need to weigh the risks (carjacking, vehicular accident, traumatizing them if they wake up "alone", etc.) and decide how realistic those risks are vs. the benifits of them getting much needed, uninterrupted sleep.

Ultimately, it is your call as to what you are comfortable with.


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## ja mama (Sep 6, 2003)

It depends what kind of neighborhood you lived in. In my neighborhood I'd do it if the car were in my driveway or garage, but not parked on the street. If your older child is around maybe pack a picknick before you leave in the morning and eat it on your front lawn? Good luck, that's hard when they don't take a nap , but still need it!


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

I would say it depends on where you live... I used to do this with my kids before we moved....the car would be in the driveway or garage where I could see it at all times...knowing my neighboorhood like I did I never worried about at thing (espically since I could see them at all times)

***BUT*** I would never do it now that we moved....

What I used to do was drive around to get dd to sleep and then go through the McDonalds drivetru for a vanilla cappacino (no drive through Starbucks







) and park at the park and read a magazine.

For almost 4 months this was the only way either of my kids woudl take a nap...so I totally understand. Just use your best judgement!


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## burritomama (Aug 26, 2002)

We have, on rare occasions when the little guy wouldn't tolerate the transfer and really needed the nap (say, during the throes of teething) BUT one of is always in the car with him at all times.

As the others have said - we pass the time with a good book, magazines (our car is now fully stocked!) NPR or a nap ourselves!


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## Yarnia (Aug 29, 2003)

I have def let my dd nap in the car but I have been there with her. I keep my knitting, manicure supplies, and perhaps some reading in the car in case she falls asleep. I get lunch and sit in the car to eat, read, etc.....
I would garden, etc....as suggested as long as the car was in view and earshot. I would not leave her and go in the house.

now that she is older I can pick her up and take her in without her waking up but when she was younger and I was desperate I let her sleep and ate like a crazed nursing woman

I also keep clippers so I can do her nails while she's asleep. I've even considered getting some scissors so I can trim her hair! Whatever it takes.....I'd have them secured of course so they wouldn't fly around the car in a collision.


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## Leatherette (Mar 4, 2003)

He's usually good for a transfer if it is within the first 15 minutes of the nap. Otherwise, I sit in the car and read or lean back and nap. I have also been known to weed my front garden while he sleeps with the car doors open to the sidewalk.


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## TieDyeMom (Jan 31, 2003)

Most definately YES for me.

I think it depends on where you live.
If it's safe and the weather is comfortable I never wake a sleeping babe.

I live at the end of a dead end street, I have a ranch and can see the car very well from the house. I leave the minivan door open and I put the dog in the yard (he would bark if anyone approached).


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## smittenmom (Mar 2, 2003)

Yes. We have done this a lot with dd, especially when she was a little younger. But we always sit in the car with her until she wakes up, and just make sure we have a book or something in the car. I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving her in the car alone as long as you're RIGHT THERE watching her and it's not too hot/cold in the car. I live in a safe neighborhood (we sometimes forget to lock our doors at night and it's no big deal), but I still feel very uneasy about even running inside the house to grab something while dd is asleep in the car. I'm sure you know your situation well enough that you're not going to put your child in danger.


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## justmama (Dec 24, 2002)

I HAVE done it twice so far(two times in 3 years, woah). BUT I have been in the car constantly. I do NOT get out and I dont' think it's appropriate even though I'm always in my driveway and can see the car from my window. I wouldn't watn her to wake up alone and get scared. We live in a pretty safe neighborhood, but you never know what weirdo could come in and take a beautiful sleeping child. I stay with her constantly. To my way of thinking, (without tryign to offend) it's like putting your child to bed and running off for dinner when you know she/he won't wake for an hour or so. We just don't do that! We dont' leave our babies at home alone so why leave them strapped into a car seat alone to sleep?????
Whenever we go out, I make sure I have drinks and snacks for both of us and a good book for me in case she does fall asleep. Many times have I sat in my driveway for an hour and read a book or sat in a parking lot like the post office or the food store and read a book with a sleeping baby in teh back. she doesn't make the transition well!
Meg


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by laurag_
*
My question is - would you do this with your toddler? I have some reservations about leaving her in the car, but it seems like a safe situation and it is the only way she is getting her much needed nap. Anyone have any opinions/advice on this?*
No, I feel it's too dangerous. It only takes a second for someone to come up and steal them.


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## laurag (Feb 22, 2002)

Okay, I feel like I should clarify a few things. I would never ever leave my child in the car in any sort of public place. I was asking about leaving her in the car parked at my home ONLY. I live at the end of a dead end street in a very safe neighborhood. Also, while she slept today, I sat out on the front porch, about 3-4 steps away from her and ate lunch, made some phone calls and nursed my baby. I would never do anything to endanger my child and I think we all know better than to leave our kids alone in some sort of parking lot or something (at least I should hope so).


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by laurag_
*Okay, I feel like I should clarify a few things. I would never ever leave my child in the car in any sort of public place. I was asking about leaving her in the car parked at my home ONLY. I live at the end of a dead end street in a very safe neighborhood. Also, while she slept today, I sat out on the front porch, about 3-4 steps away from her and ate lunch, made some phone calls and nursed my baby. I would never do anything to endanger my child and I think we all know better than to leave our kids alone in some sort of parking lot or something (at least I should hope so).*
I knew what you meant. I still feel it's too dangerous.


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## Graceoc (Mar 26, 2002)

I have to say I am pretty shocked at some of the responses here - I think we are all well enought parents to know what is ok or not and I'm sorry but sitting within a few yards of your baby if full view with proper ventilation so that they can nap.....well I see NOTHING AT ALL wrong with that. Give me a break! I used to live in a huge 4 bedroom home with a very large yard - in a very safe neighboorhood were we never locked our door. I would often put the baby down for a nap and then go out to the back yard with my son to play (with the baby monitor clipped to my belt). I could not see her or the front door......I guess someone could have somehow gone in without me knowing and taken her.....but puuuullleezzzzz.......I think we all know what is safe and what is not!

Oh I also would put the baby monitor in the car, so that if they woke up while I was not staring right at the car (I may be reading or something) then I could hear them immedialy and get them as soon as they woke - just like if they were home in bed....I doubt in the 10 seconds it took to get there they would be scared and tramatized for life...


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## lula (Feb 26, 2003)

I do not leave my child in the car without someone (my husband or I) with her however I also do not have a driveway! You were just as near her as if she was playing in the yard, you were obviously attentive and she got some sleep. I see no problem with this at all.
lula


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## famousmockngbrd (Feb 7, 2003)

Yes, but I would remain in the car or next to the car the whole time, and if it was at all hot out I would not do it.

Usually if Cole is asleep and I don't think I can transfer him from his carseat to his crib without waking him up, I just drive around or I park in the shade with the windows down and read a book or listen to the radio. I don't think I could go inside the house and leave him in the car alone, but if I lived in a very rural area I might. I don't know.


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## slightly crunchy (Jul 7, 2003)

I have done it a couple of times, but only with all the car windows and/or doors open, and only because I was sitting right there with him.

In a safe neighborhood, I would worry more about whether it was too hot than whether someone would steal him. Although, if you make a habit of this, you take the risk that someone could easily take advantage (if they are looking for a child to take. ugh. It makes me sick to even write that).

I would not leave him in the car alone even if I was sitting a few feet away. Safety reasons, and also it can be a lot hotter in a parked car than you might think. Children get easily overheated this way. Too dangerous in my mind.


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## Satori (Jan 30, 2003)

I always keep a book in the car to read becasue I find thats the only time I do get to read is when she falls asleep in the car. You should never ever leave a child in the car alone and I know here in CA its illegal. Cars get hot fast even with the windows open, could you live with yourself if the unthinkable were to happen?


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## Britishmum (Dec 25, 2001)

Dd wouldnt have taken one nap in the first two years of her life if I hadn't done this. She still only falls alseep for naps in the car, but I can now lift her inside.

But, I always pulled the car into the garage, and kept the door to the house open. My work desk is right by the door, so I could see her. But because I'm paranoid, I then had the dog in the garage too - he's a fantastic guard.

I think that if its the only way your child will nap, you have to find a way to make it work. But I'd not be comfortable unless I had my eyes on the car the entire time.

Good luck, I know how frustrating the nap thing can be, and unless you've had a no-nap child, it's hard to understand.


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## AnnMarie (May 21, 2002)

Quote:

_Originally posted by Britishmum_
*
Good luck, I know how frustrating the nap thing can be, and unless you've had a no-nap child, it's hard to understand.







*

My kids were no-nap kids. I really don't see why the big deal if they have a nap or not. I didn't force my kids to sleep when they weren't sleepy. JMO


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## IdentityCrisisMama (May 12, 2003)

OP, my opinion is that there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. The only thing I would say is that you should be very sure that the temperature in the car doesn't get too hot. I never left my daughter in the car simply because we don't really use the car that much and she doesn't sleep well there. I do have friends who drove their children to sleep and then would come to my house for a chat while their kids slept in the car. The only thing that worried me was the car getting dangerously hot.

Personally, it doesn't seem like the risk of your child being taken from your car, in your driveway, while you're eating lunch on your porch is a very conceivable danger nor is it for your car being crashed into in your drive way. Although, I guess these things could happen you're in much greater risk for crashing your car while you're actually driving it and I'll bet you're at a greater risk of your child being taken every time you go to the mall.

As far as the nap thing goes, I my daughter went in and out of stages where, when and how she would nap, although she has always napped at least once per day. Sometimes we walked in the buggy, sometimes we read books AND for a blissful month, she actually fell asleep by herself. If your child is falling asleep - your child needs a nap. I'm sure you're not forcing your child to sleep (as if that were possible).

If this becomes a habit for you and your child, perhaps you could call the police department to see if they have any suggestions. I think in some areas it is actually illegal to leave a child in the car but there are obviously some grey areas. Maybe the police could give you an outside temperature where it will be safe to leave the child and when it is not.


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## jenP (Aug 22, 2002)

Just chiming in with the "what's the big deal" camp. Private driveway, parked around back, not visible from the street, safe, quiet neighborhood, in the shade, windows down, I'm on the porch with the car in my sight line and in earshot. What is the problem?? I believe in letting sleeping babies lie. I think the book/work/knitting suggestions are great if you DON'T have a safe place to park at home.
No, we don't put our children to bed and then leave to go out to eat. But we do put on the monitor and go downstairs to do laundry or get on the computer, don't we now? And sometimes they wake up alone in the room.
Is it okay to let my child play in her sandbox while I'm seven feet away from her weeding the garden? Then why would it be different if she's asleep in the car rather than playing in her sandbox?
Sounds like everyone here is doing what is safest for their own situation, and that is great.
Jen


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## Eggie (Aug 7, 2003)

I wouldn't do it unless I stay in the car with my dd. Doesn't matter that your neighborhood is safe (you never know if someone has a kidnaper guest) or that the weather is not bad (what if a bee or wasp bothers the kid?). You can think of many reasons but mostly I wouldn't do it for the ones I cannot think about.


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## Peppermint (Feb 12, 2003)

A lot of good points have been made on both sides of this. There are a lot of conditions for me. I have a driveway and can put the car all the way down in the backyard, then I can weed, sit in a lawnchair with a book etc. and I feel that is safe, doors are always opened (not just windows). I do keep a book in the car, in case they fall asleep somewhere less safe, where I wouldn't leave them in the car (ie-when dh's car is blocking the driveway and I have to park on the street). I would not go into the house, or out of sight of the car at any time (but I don't ever leave my kids outside alone, not even to answer the phone)

I would be careful as someone else mentioned as it might be against the law, and as you can see from the responses you have gotten, there are people out there who feel this is very wrong. I have to say, even I would be judgemental if I saw someone go inside the house with their child in the car, I think you should be outside and very near (if not in) the car. I am sure you are careful, but people will judge, and I'd hate to see you get reported to CPS or something.







:

I think you have gotten a lot of good ideas of things to do while you wait in the car, or right next to the car while she gets her nap. I don't believe in waking sleeping babies without very good reason


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## Ivarson (Aug 28, 2002)

I don't see why not - if you can see her, what's the problem? If she needs a nap and that's the only way she'll get it, then go for it - or just keep driving around (a snooze cruise) and catch some scenery...that's what we do.


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## Mere (Oct 1, 2002)

Given the specifics of your situation, I don't think it's a big deal at all. I would probably put a baby monitor in the car though.


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## laurag (Feb 22, 2002)

I found a solution that worked - for today at least. On the way home from school I kept her awake in the car. I just kept talking to her and asking her lots of questions so she would keep talking. Her little eyes were so heavy but I kept babbling on and on to keep her awake. Then, by the time we got home she was so tired she went to sleep in her bed easily. I hope we can keep repeating today's success! I wanted to say thanks for all the feedback on this question. Even though I don't necessarily agree with all the comments, it did help me think about some things I hadn't thought of before.


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## Piglet68 (Apr 5, 2002)

I don't see a problem with what the OP described. I really think it depends on the situation.

When my DD falls asleep in the car, this is what I do: I get out the stroller, put it right by the door where her car seat is, and quickly transfer her from the car seat to the stroller (which is in the recline position) then I wheel her into the house. If she wakes at all during the transfer, she's right back to sleep when I start moving the stroller. Then I put her in the foyer at the foot of the stairs and leave her there while she naps (in fact, she's doing that right now). She's safely inside the house, and still sleeping!









It's great b/c if I tried to carry her into the house and lay her down she'd be fully awake, but b/c the transfer to the stroller is so fast, she doesn't wake up!


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## oceanbaby (Nov 19, 2001)

I haven't read the replies, but wanted to say that my son naps in the car all the time. However, we have an attached, enclosed garage (I don't close the garage door until the car has been turned off for a few minutes, and we have a carbon monoxide detector down there), very moderate temperatures, I leave the car and house doors open, and even though I can hear him anywhere in the house without it (we have a small house), I also put a monitor in there. It is so sensitive that I can hear him breathing. So I feel pretty okay about him being in there without me.

I personally would never leave him alone on the street, even if I could see him (because things happen just in the time it takes you to go get a tissue when you sneeze or glance down at your book, or whatever), but then again I live in a city, so I don't know what the feeling is about living in a more rural area.


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## sleepies (Nov 30, 2001)

***EDITED*** I didn't read before i posted the below stuff...sorry if i repeated anyone.

mine wakes up too.
i have found to do this:

stay in the car with the sleeping baby

you can
#1. Take a nap yourself.
#2. Read a book.
#3. Pluck eye-brows (car mirror works great)
#4. Clean car out
#5. listen to the radio
#6. Veg out
#7. Study if you have college the way i do.

My baby wakes up too, and always sleeps. I NEVER take him out anymore, but I never leave him in there either.

Someone might steal your car or something weird.


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## Plady (Nov 20, 2001)

Depending on where you park it might not be a big deal. When we used to live in podunk IL where we had a driveway and it was a totally sleepy little town I might very well have let my dc sleep away in the car (granted of course that the temp was ideal and I was going to be within hearing and sight of the car at all times with the dog in the yard to let me know if anyone was around). Of course I didn't have dc then.

Now I wouldn't for a second because we have to park on the street and I would be too worried that that would be the time that one of the buses would ram our car into smithereens.

Last spring, while I was visiting MIL (who lives on a really quiet, gated neighborhood dead end street) I had dd and my niece in the car, both fell asleep after an outing and as I pulled up to MIL's house it began to rain. I turned on NPR and started writing out a b'day card to a friend that I'd needed to get to for some time. I figured it was perfect, we'd stay there until they woke up, we'd stay dry, I could avoid doing anything worklike for a bit and listen to the radio happily.

Well the next thing you know there was this huge CRACK! and a tree came down RIGHT BEHIND THE CAR!!!!!









Okay, I may be crazy but I took it as a message. A parked car isn't a safe place to nap. So, I gathered up both sleepy girls and ran for the house!

Anyway, I think we all use our best judgement and no matter how we all define personal safety none of us would let our dc experience a moment of danger that we could forsee. So, use your best judegement and watch those trees!


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